Recently got diagnosed at 33 and now it all makes sense why my life was the way it was. Depressed ever since teenage years, never knew what I wanted to do with life, always took shortcuts. Always chasing thrills and doing dangerous dumb shit with disregard to consequences. Alcohol abuse problems. Unstable relationship of 11 years that I was super codependent on, now that shes gone I dont how to live. Its all just sickening, what a fucked up disorder. That is all folks. The end is near.