I don’t know how else to phrase it. “Just stop focusing on it” “you can’t let it consume you” “think about something else” “just take care of yourself” “eat. Get out of the house. Go for a walk”

I am telling you I am in physical pain because of the feeling I am having. I am telling you I can’t breath because of the feeling I’m experiencing. I know I feel it too much. I know I need to manage that. But to dismiss it as “just do this easy fix” is soooo… I don’t know. If I could I would. I hate being in this pain all of the time. I hate feeling everything like it’s the weight of the world. I hate my brain and I hate who I am. But I do get up. I do have a job. I do take care of my kids. I do so fucking much. And I know it’s “normal adult things” and “this is life so deal with it” but FUCK I’m so tired of dealing with it. I’m not good at dealing with it. I’m exhausted. And the road to making it better is just the longest barrel I’ve ever looked down. And everything I read is bleak for my future. And this is just a rant now. I’m sorry.