Part of me wants to get away from it but I can’t. It haunts me in my sleep and some nights I feel like I can’t breathe. I’m scared of the unknown and conflict. I hate when people argue or fight it leaves me under a lot of stress. Maybe I wasn’t ready to deal with that trauma at 8. Maybe I was too scared and too small to make a decision in the moment. It’s normal brothers fight and the constant fighting left me traumatized. The screaming, yelling, crying, and busted lips still haunts me. Sometimes I wake up afraid hoping everything will be okay. My heart starts to race whenever people raise their voices. The family secrets… I can’t even close my eyes anymore to escape it because it still follows me.