 I recently lost a huge support group because of a meltdown that involved me lashing out and attempting suicide. In the aftermath, my friends have decided that I was faking my suicidal thoughts and was manipulating them and cut all ties with me.

 Since then, everyday I had been struggling from sharp anxiety pains, questioning my own sanity. It's like something in my forehead slowly trickles down to my fingers and are shooting knives inside them. For a while I questioned whether I was a manipulative sociopath and didn't deserve friends or love.

 But through months of therapy and some psychological examinations, the result was that there's a good chance I had been suffering from anxiety and suicidal tendencies for quite a while. 

 This was when I realized that, whether it was intentional or not, my friends took their misunderstanding and gaslighted me into thinking I was crazy.

 They have blocked me on everything, so there's no way I can get closure from this. I just have to deal with the fact that I was obviously the cause of the misunderstanding and that they won't believe a word I say, even if it's from my therapist. Also, telling them that I was actually suicidal doesn't sound good either. 

 I am still in therapy and taking medication for anxiety, delusional thinking and depression. I'm getting better but the sting still lingers. The anxiety that's caused by how my friend acted was extremely traumatic for me. Not to mention the months where I thought I was a horrible person.

 This is both a venting post and an advice asking post I guess. Has anybody had similar experiences? And if so, how did you get through this? Did you make ammends with your friends, or at least forgave them? And how do I deal with this from now on?