Im 19 and I promised myself that I would watch how the effects changed over time, but they have only gotten worse and stayed the same. I am at a loss for what else to do. I'm going to hang myself tonight. I've written about it, spoken to my family about it, sought treatment, and other things. All of them haven't done much to help, and I can tell that they all just ignore or place blame on the situation. Simply put, I'm exhausted. Being so alone and just living makes it impossible for me to look at myself and feel useful. 

being done for one's own benefit. I cannot escape the loneliness. I think there is nothing in this world for me. Maybe it's not true, but it doesn't seem like I have anything planned for the future except for misery and loneliness. This time, I really don't want to live; it would be better for me to pass away. 

I periodically witness everyone living their lives and being happy. I hate who I am and don't ever want to live again. I appreciate you being in my life and reading this, whoever you may be. I can't handle being completely alone any longer. When I do get the chance to speak to someone, I rarely manage to utter whole sentences.