hello all, im currently an undiagnosed minor with petulant bpd. i am **\*\*NOT\*\*** asking for a diagnoses, or judgement regarding my bpd, i want to know how to make my fp, stop being my fp???

**ALSO CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF GROOMING AND RAPE**

now this thats out of the way. let me tell you about my fp.

so basically me and him met online (still havent met each other but became bestfriends at some point,) i dont want to hear the "so he might not even be real" bullshit. im called him for hours, sent voicememos, pictures, i know. when we first met around feb 2021, we were in an internet friendgroup together and slowly became close outside of it. he was very flirty with me and i was okay with it. but as time went on, i got more and more attached to him. i straight up told him that he became my fp. he was really nice about it and even researched bpd a bit.

fast forward about a month- its now april 2021, and we are hitting it off. all until one morning he decides we need to talk. my heart sank because i knew what was going to happen. he told me he never had feelings for me and that hes sorry. he was trying to let me down easy, but at the time it was heart shattering. i went on my private account and i started ranting like crazy, i was so upset. but he took this time to kick me OUT of our friendgroup and got all of them to turn against me, because i was having a mini episode and said he played me. so for the next few weeks, we are "beefing" which in other words is him getting his friends to harass me and me reacting back in awful ways.

so let's fast forward again- to august 2021. a couple months have gone by, i have romantically spoken to two guys (i promise im not a wh\*re), celebrated my birthday, and now im living life, i had gotten into internet problems so i was busy dealing with it, and honestly havent thought about him since may. but here we go, i see someone comment on my post "check ur dms", i recognized the user, he moved accounts a lot but you could always tell by the set up that its him. so i answer fast, i've been going through a bit of a hard time and i thought "it cant be worse than last time, right?" ohhh boy was i wrong. he dmed me to let me know that a girl from my old friendgroup had also gotten kicked out, basically because the same reason she did. but instead of feeling bad for her, i laughed, genuinely i did. because she helped him harass me because he flirted with me and left and the same thing happened to her. but while in my dms, he said he didnt trust me enough to text me from his main account, and since i was still in awe of his presence, only because he had dmed me and all these feelings came back, and i asked if we could talk for a bit on the account until he trusted me. he obviously agreed but told me from the start that he is "just bored" and said not to rely on him and made me promise not to get attached. i promised, but after a few days of HEAVY flirting went by, he dipped. told me to "be brave without him".

the next few weeks went crazy, he because my fp again of course. but within a week after he left the account, he got a boyfriend. i was dying to atleast TALK to him since he had blocked me everywhere. i even dmed him from my alt accounts, stalked/messaged his friends, nothing worked. so in september i decided to make a fake account with a new identity (this could only happen so easily because we met through korean-pop roleplay, nsx ofc, so new people came all the time thru the #krp tag on instagram), and befriended him (and loads of other ppl whom i missed but no longer spoke to me either).

at the start, he and my old friends had a feeling that is was me, but i was able to debunk it because i catfished lolll. my intention was not to date him, it was just to be his friend. but, even though he had a boyfriend, he still flirted with my fake account. now im not a homewrecker or anything, i would use the /platonic tone all the time so he doesnt think im really flirting with him, but at some point, i'd say about two weeks after. he made ME confess my feelings and make the first move, and i did and he liked me (my fake persona lol) back and we dated. i got caught two weeks later and he said he never really liked me anyway he was just bored, blah blah bullshit. so for the next few week we were just arguing everyday while i was getting dragged by a whole community of roleplayers.

but at some point, we started becoming friends. it was under the radar of course, because he didnt want to be seen with me and would still shit talk me, but in the end i didnt give a shit because i really loved him and he was my fp still, it was nice talking to him everyday normally (although we fought all the time we were able to fix it quick). it was like our first real friendship. the problems arises once again when he got a girlfriend, who hated my guts even though i didnt even know her. she lied to him saying that i spoke bad about him and i was literally crying because he believed it and called me "the worst friend" hes ever had and i had to debunk it, and i was able to and he figured out she lied about it and we quickly got over it.

fast forward to, im not even sure how much i should recap but basically he has had his ex gf ruin our friendship twice since then &amp;&amp; she texted someone who knows me inrl to find out my school !!XD, used my rape and grooming against me + called me an "easy fatass" because he was "angry" , but we still had MANYYY good times and i just cant get him out of my head.

pls help