I feel like everybody hates me because I don't get as many likes as I did before. When I say "everybody", I do not those closest in my life. I have a lot of friends/followers on social media but I've seen that recently my likes are getting lower and lower. I usually do not care about this, but today I do, and this was my immediate thought: nobody really likes me anymore. I guess now I'm overthinking and taking it personally.   


See, I'm never vocal on FB apart from life updates, so when I voiced my support for the BLM movement I lost about 30 friends. I'm genuinely unbothered that I did, as I don't want people in my life that are racist or unsupportive of me. It just made me think about why they were ever "friends" with me to begin with. On IG, whenever I take pictures of things I love or the people in my life, they never get the attention that my selfies get. That makes me feel like people would rather see my face or body than look at the things I care about, things that bring me joy.   


It's hurting me. I've taken breaks on social media before, and most recently I tried right before COVID-19 was a thing. It was unsuccessful due to boredom (it's easier to distract yourself when you can actually go places other than work and home). I really don't see taking another break being helpful at the moment. I feel like a loser in life. I feel shitty that I only have a few close friends, and that I hardly text many people. I wish I'd gone to different colleges and even joined a sorority at some point, but I never did and I'm done with college forever.   


I just feel so angry and empty. I even feel like nobody is going to bother reading this. THAT, exactly that, makes me feel so fucking small and unimportant! I wish people cared! I wish people reached out to me and got to know me, befriend me! I don't know how else to close this off without just feeling stuck and upset. I guess that's all.