I am losing my mind guys, please help me out someone. I was with someone for close to 8 months (ish) but we had history together but unfortunately I had to leave the relationship because her emotions were uncontrollable (that was 4 years ago). We started talking again last year and she was playing the victim that her ex had been abusive and dumped her. In these 4 years she had been through around 4 more relationships (again that's what she said but I still have my doubts). The beginning was indescribable (made for each other, soulmates and stuff), she told her parents she found "the one". I noticed with her splitting on coworkers and stuff (still never really angry, mostly just crying fits over very small issues that most people wouldn't really care too much about. I was there for her through every single one of her crying fits, like every single one. Always showed support, considerate messages, gifts you name it. She even said (and her exact words) "***No one has ever been this nice to me before***". Her emotional dysregulation and fear of abandonment was so obvious but I gave her reassurances every damn time when she started crying and told me that she didn't want to lose me again and honestly nothing triggered this. It was out of the blue most of the times. I still reassured her, sent her amazing texts, never ever blamed her for her crying fits. After a few months, she started meeting up with one of the "toxic" exes (her words) and kept lying to me about it. When confronted, she started crying again and said she didn't want me to make a big deal out of it and this was only because she is not able to say NO to people. When I wanted a discussion about what happened, she would cry everytime in the hopes that I would change the topic and it worked like a charm. I still don't know what she did exactly and this was during the time she was telling me WE will get married. She just blocked me everywhere a few days ago after a disagreement and she now said she wants nothing to do with me because I hurt her loads and I am toxic? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? Not to mention she said she wanted to break up and I said okay, then she started crying and begging me not to leave her (I think this is what "I hate you-don't leave me" looks like?) and now she is telling all my friends what a toxic piece of shit I am, scum of the planet. Literally no mention of how everytime I was there for her, never judged her for anything, was always considerate to every one of her requests? Just no closure or mutual respect for someone you thought you were gonna get married to?

Guys, I am not going to lie. I am fucked up right now. I have barely eaten or slept in 3 days. I am crying at the drop of the hat, can't listen to songs that trigger me. I have lost all hope at this point and why would anyone treat another human being this way? She wouldn't even interact with me while with her ex she told me she couldn't say no to people. Then why ME? WTF did I do besides loving you every second of every day. FUUUUCCCCCKKKK. I am crying while I type this but hope someone can add some insights. She's moved on completely and going to parties and stuff while I can barely get the fuck out of bed. I have Uni exams in August and September and I don't know if I can focus.

P.S: She's got fear of abandonment, unstable relationships, paranoia, unstable emotions, feelings of boredom and emptiness, dissociation/detachment, inability to be alone (like not even in the house, she has to be with someone all the time), always on Tinder looking for people or potential partners, alcohol abuse, insane rage during discard (followed by another crying fit), zero self worth or self esteem, impulsive with stuff like oversharing, overapologizing, escalating confrontations, hypersensitivity to minor criticism, crying (and this was pretty much all day every day triggered by random events), no identity (no clear career goals for example), she took dancing as hobby and stuck around but only because she uses it attract more partners from one community (all her exes are from this community), I have a feeling now she only does it to get attention, attention seeking behaviour, flirtatious, too critical of herself, somehow way too attached to her stuffed animals (she has plenty and named all of them), is into "little" dynamic (is it related to BPD? I don't know). The thing is she will never go to a psychiatrist to get help because she thinks there's nothing wrong with her so I'll never know if she ever gets an offical diagnosis.

Help me out people, please. Is this splitting or something? What should I do? Please.