I’m 21M recently out of a relationship that I ended because I got my feelings hurt, I struggle with extreme depression and anger, along with massive amounts of anxiety that really only let me be half of myself out of my house, also have ADHD and I’m super impulsive, I’ve been extremely angry at the world lately I think I’m just now processing my breakup and I’m like a different person , just looking for a fight just looking for adrenaline to take my mind off of how shitty and lonely I feel all the time, debating dropping out of my classes because they are unfulfilling and takes more time than I’d like out of my life, I just wanna sit at my computer all day and be alone , I live with my grandma now, it’s just her here because a few years ago my grandpa sadly committed suicide, that really fucked me in the head, it made me dead inside and not really able to have emotion, everyone around me loves me and they like how funny I am but all that does is drive me down farther, when I show my real self to people they get annoyed because it’s just anger and despair, especially when I’m by myself in my car or in my room, when people ask me if I’m suicidal I don’t know how to respond, I just genuinely don’t find value in life the only dopamine I get is through food, I don’t necessarily think about killing myself but thinking about death doesn’t phase me in the slightest, I eat my feelings constantly, I have a fast metabolism and am super skinny , so I don’t have motivation to stop eating how I do, I’m just numb , I have no friends, nobody to talk to, nobody to hold or love, it’s just me, this weird person that for some reason people like but am too fucked in the head to love myself or others how I’m supposed to, idk why I’m doing this tbh, I literally don’t open up to people ever but wanted people to talk to I guess..