I just turned 21(F) and I'm a student. Over the past couple of months I've been having suicidal thoughts and I was pretty sure in Feb that I was gonna kill myself over the next couple of months. 

Friends hate the way I am, I'm forced to go to college despite the fact that it fucks up my mental help every single day, ex-boyfriend accused me of fucking his best friend with literally zero evidence, convinced me I was a psychopath, blamed me for everything he fucking did, told everyone that I fucked his best friend, and everyone believed him. And yeah people told me shit like "he'll get it all back" but fuck he seems to be flying after telling everyone his sob fucking lies and I'm here with my rock bottom getting deeper and deeper. 

I started therapy and they suggested I cut him out but he'd never let me go and I always seem to go back to him, just when things started looking a little bright my dad came down to live with me for 2 months and my fucking building society head snitched to my dad that I get guys over late at night (BTW I'm Indian). So there the one reason I never killed myself so far were my parents and now my dad can't even look at me while he talks and my mom won't even talk to me on call. They've given me everything material but they can never accept me. They're reputation isn't built or destroyed from what they do (because my mom has had so fucking many extra marital affairs), but it depends on what I do. In 4 months I will never see the people in my building ever again and my parents in 2 months, but still these people's opinion matters to my parents more than my own fucking will to live. 

I'm honestly done, everyone thinks I'm a bad fucking person despite all my best intentions. Therapists always say do what keeps you happy but if I do that my parents will make that a reason to make me miserable again. So yes I'm done, I'm done pleasing everyone. My parents want respect from other people? Let them have it without a daughter.