I’ve somehow kept this job for almost six years at this point, but recently I got a promotion that doubled my salary but also obviously doubled my responsibility, which FUCKED me. It’s too much. I can’t handle it. I feel like I’m absolute suffocating. My drive to work includes panic attacks and 4x the anxiety medication I’m supposed to take at once. 
I have way too much going on personally, and this new position is just completely draining me.

So I requested a demotion, which apparently is not allowed in my company???? I’m not allowed to voluntarily demote. So what the fuck are my options? Quit, get fired, or stay in my position. 

This has driven me into going back and forth between manic and depressive episodes, and at the moment, I’m in a VERY particularly bad manic episode, and I’m to the point where if my boss even texts me, no matter what he says, I’m about to just tell him to go fuck himself. 

How in the hell do I pull myself out of this?