I'm in so much pain.  I'm 46 and i wake up every morning wishing this was my last day.  I got promoted at work but I'm failing and I'm terrible at it. I cant tell my wife how I might lose another job.  We've always had money problems and I'm the reason.  I keep failing.  I had a breakdown years ago and I've not been the same since. I have huge gaps that I have no memory of and I know it hurts my wife when I can't remember an event or a funny memory. 

I finished work today and just broke down in tears.  I thought I'd have something figured out but I'm still in pain.  

I'm such a pathetic excuse for a partner and father.  They all deserve so much better.

I have no self worth so I cant imagine anyone reading this but thank you if you did.