///TW sexual abuse, rape



Hey there, so as the title says I need to vent and ask for advice. Earlier tonight my girlfriend and I had a very intense conversation and we eventually smoothed things over. Anyway after we calmed down we just started talking about random things and eventually we somehow ended up on my flashbacks. So my brain had blocked out these memories up until a few months ago when they were re-awakened. When I was a child I was raped by an adult guy. I can't remember who it was and I don't know if I'm just blocking it out. I get flashbacks to certain parts of the abuse. I won't go into detail so you guys don't have to get a mental picture. I know it's hard to think about. Anyway after she brought it up I then started to think about it and I needed to talk about what was on my mind. At first my girlfriend was okay which I was shocked by because this is a very touchy subject for her too. I started talking about nightmares I had of it and how it felt but then she said I had to stop because she couldn't handle it anymore, which I understand completely. Sometimes I can't talk about these things either so I tried to help her calm down and relax. But after she was okay I felt frustrated with her because she brought it up and made me think about it so I needed to talk about it and then she tells me to stop, and I have no one else to talk to about this other than my therapist who I won't talk to until Thursday. But now I feel extremely guilty and selfish because she was upset and now I'm frustrated. It just feels unfair and because I think its unfair I now feel really guilty. I don't know what to do. if you have read this far I would really appreciate your advice. Thank you all and I hope you all feel better.