28 male here. Just started posting a couple of days ago. Had my first session with a psych today and it went well. My mother and I have always had an up and down relationship but it has eased off, although it took me moving halfway across the country. 

So I made the mistake of telling her a couple weeks ago that I was having some personal issues and was going to be speaking with a doctor. Ever since she has been non stop wanting to talk to me about it and I continue to tell her I am not comfortable with it. 

I had a good talk today with the doctor and was actually in a good mood, like really good mood! So my wife and I literally just finish eating dinner and my phone goes off and I see its my mom. Instantly my stomach drops. I cant ignore my mom tho... its my mom! So I answer and its instantly, "so how was today? what did you guys talk about?" I tried being nice and told her we didnt get to talking about too much so there was nothing to say. She continued to budge so I told her I wasnt comfortable talking about it, that it wasnt personal, but I hadnt even discussed it with my own wife. So on with the pity party from my mother, acting super sad. Saying, "Oh..." and just radio silence for a good 30 seconds. Finally, instead of playing into it I just asked her what exactly was bothering her. She says, "you said you would maybe want to talk about it but obviously it wasnt maybe. You should have just said that you didnt want to talk about it." At this point, I dont know how my walls are still intact, how that glass on the table isnt in a million pieces... you get the picture. But somehow, I am composed. I told my mom I had to go and that she should have a good rest of the night and hung up. 

I instantly felt guilty for hanging up on her as that is one of her tactics and really my ultimate pet peeve, probably because of the amount of times she has hung up on me. So anyways I try calling her back about 15 minutes later and no answer, no surprise. So I text saying, "I am sorry for hanging up the phone so abruptly. I appreciate your care and concern but please need you to respect my boundaries with this issue." 

Instantly my phone rings. "How dare you accuse me of not respecting boundaries when you trampled mine by yelling at me and getting mad for no reason." Jaw clenched, fists shaking, I keep my cool. I told her that I was not willing to argue about this. She changes her tone and story completely and starts telling me that I just misunderstood her, that she wasnt upset but just tired from working all day, and that I misunderstood her, did I mention that I misunderstood her? Ok, I definitely misunderstood her. After about the 8th time of hearing her say that in a minute I couldnt take it anymore. I told her I was justified in feeling that my privacy was being intruded upon and asked her why exactly she was upset in the first place. Then the ramblings of how I am such a jerk and mean and angry guy and click. Awesome, rage level 1000 achieved. I chucked my phone (although consciously lightly, and onto the bed) and proceeded to punch my chest high dresser about 6 times. My poor wife just standing there watching and having no clue what to do. Especially considering her family much more closely resembles normal than mine. 

Give it about ten more minutes and my phone starts going nuts. Insane amounts of text messages from my mother. Telling me how I am being a cry baby and that she in no way pressed against my boundaries, that my perception was "wrong", but then immediately says I infringed upon her boundaries by "not asking how my day at work went today." After about 15 text messages I decided I better turn my phone off and just vent on reddit. And here I am, and you know what? I feel 100% better. But man oh man does it stress me out that my own mother is my biggest trigger, the thoughts are so conflicting... mother... trigger. Only being able to think in black and white makes it so much harder. I cant love my mother while realizing I need to distance myself from her at time. Its just back and forth between loving her and hating her about 10 times a second. Ugh. 

If you read this, thanks for the time! I hope you have a wonderful night!