(16,F) 
ive been suffering with most/all of the symptoms of bpd and they have been making my life a living hell for about 2 years now.

my mum has all symptoms of bpd and extensive childhood trauma and my grandmother had bipolar disorder.

i just phoned the doctor to try and talk to them about it but i think i just play it off as nothing and i don't mean to. I didn't list the extent of the symptoms or what they do to me because I always feel awkward over the phone and wished they'd email me instead. 

i asked to talk to them about the fact that ive peeled my lips for at least 6 years and they bleed and its not a form of s-h, its just something I do, he told me its a habit and to 'when i feel myself do it, just stop'. how am i supposed to stop when i rarely notice it happening (i told him this too)

i just don't know what to do. do i even have anything wrong or is it all made up in my head? I've attempted *sewerslide* before and even that's not enough for a psychiatric evaluation from a real psychiatrist.

ive never talked to a doctor about anything before, because i knew they wouldn't believe me and they didn't. just like i knew. typical. 

ive had some trauma that i didn't wanna go into over the phone so i just said 'i don't know' when he asked if i had trauma, i just didn't wanna overexaggerate what ive been through.

my worst problem is im so so so physically terrified of my boyfriend leaving me, every little tone change or if he says something he normally wouldn't. i sometimes just tell him i hate him and he should leave and i have a sort of episode (don't wanna go into detail of what happens in them)

he is such a good guy and hes stayed with me through a lot and our relationship itself is good, just im the problem, and ive tried to get help today and ive been told that there's probably nothing.
I know its my fault for not telling the GP everything but over the phone its hard to think and to know everything to say.

TL;DR: struggling to access mental health services