i know that i am very small here like i do not have much problems or pain or difficulties in my life like other have i dont have depression or anything evrything if perfect in my life but still i want to die 

i am tired of the thoughts that come in my mind some positive thoughts keep coming in my mind like life is beautiful suicide is wrong its not worth dont do it this keeps creating fear inside me and i never able to suicide last month i had a suicde triggering incident but rea;ly i ak so dumb i ddint suicide now that situation is gone and i lost me courage i feel scared of death but same time i wanna die hey i love jumping from big building but i am not allowed alone to go out so cant find big buldings 

and i dot trust poison 

the only trust i hve that too 000000000000.07% is on hanging that too i dont hve good noose i ll use a indian saare cloth which is long but donno if it an bear my weight i am waste i feel so sorry for those people who lose their life i feel if there was someone to help them sure they would have beautiful life instead of ending i feel guilt su h beautiful people died i feel jealous and low that these people died but not me before i was not scared to suicde but ony was scared that ill fail in it but now i am scared of it and constant positive thoughts come in me i am tired i am useless i cant do anything how can i gather courage to die pls dont give me hopes coz i already have it thats wat sucks