I don't know what it is? So I came home yesterday from work and my head still hurt from this knot. I took 2 benadryl and some Excedrin and was knocked out. So  i woke up this morning and i feel depressed. Im having paranoid thoughts that my boyfriend cheated on me while i was sleeping that he was talking to someone else. He went out to get Mcdonalds and I just started freaking out not on him but in my head there are all these scenarios. I don't want to say anything because i feel ridiculous. I feel like hes being emotionally unavailable and it makes me feel really weird. I don't know what is going on. I feel like he wants me to smoke pot because i zone out and then he can do whatever he wants to do and i wont say anything. I just don't get how one little thing like sleeping can make me feel so vulnerable and send me in a whirlwind of crazy emotions. It doesn't help that i had therapy yesterday and my therapist said that i need to accept that i will never be able to have a healthy relationship with my mom. Which completely devastated me. i just want to scream i feel like i don't have control over a thing. What is the point in trying in being alive if i don't even have control over the way that i feel or react to shit.