I seriously would love to just end it, but I have a fear of additional pain. I am a chronic pain patient with bipolar and things have gotten out of hand. I am in EXTREME pain all the time and have been extremely manic. I’m supposed to have surgery in a month, but I don’t have much hope in that fixing me. I’m starting to believe I’m just psychotic, and all my pain is in my head. This surgery thing is ridiculous. I’m off the charts manic, and opioids fuel mania, so what the hell???  My brilliant pain management doctor also left with with barbituate withdrawal. I honestly am in so much pain I am sedentary and can’t move much at all. My husband is sick and tired of hearing me whine and all we do is snap and go off on each other. I can’t take much more of this and if the pain comes back, I will possibly be ODing on Percocet tonight. Ive had enough