I’m 26, I’m reasonably smart. I have a better job than all my friends and make good money (I swear I’m not flexing). I’m a great partner when I’m not in episodes and a great friend (I put in so much work to try and keep people in my life, I’d literally do anything for anyone when I’m not ill to the point where I really put myself out). Way things are going I’m hoping to be a director by the time I’m 35 in a big company and I’m getting that relevant training, only being pushed back from my time off sick which is averaging 3 months a year, without this director at 30 would be reasonable. I also have brain damage that was self inflicted through years of self harm. I always wonder where I might be now if I hadn’t been traumatised and had this condition. And even then, although I’m doing ok sometimes, I still have very bad periods of wanting to die and can’t hold down a healthy relationship. My friends don’t know anything really about my mental health. 
I mourn for who I might have been, does anyone else?