i either overwork myself or completely check out. i take things seriously when they feel like they mean a lot to me and then when it doesn’t feel the same way again i have to figure out how to deal with the decisions i made when it meant so much to me. sorry this is vague but i’m sick of creating my own problems in one state then having to deal with it in a. completely different state. i know i should just suck it up and take responsibility for my own actions but at the same time my actions feel so out of my control. it feels like being drunk one day or hour of the day and then sober the next. fuck i hate everything lol sorry for whining.