i don’t know who i am. the way i dress and present myself to others is constantly shifting. i change favorite person and want to copy everything about them. i don’t know if my brain thinks it’ll find peace while doing this or why this happens. i can go from dressing in all black and heavy makeup to suddenly want to dress like an ig model. 
saving a bunch of money to suddenly spend it all on designer. with each purchase i have to change who i am as a person. this is crazy, i know. 
call it superficial as well, i know it is. but it’s frustrating nonetheless. 
it’s also the pressure from this society to be special and each individual have to be unique. like you have to make yourself the trade mark. 
idk what to do tbh. this life doesn’t fulfill me in any way. i want to find a deeper meaning but it’s damn hard when your whole life is based on an instant dopamine boost from an online purchase.