Trigger warning 

My wife kicked me out last night
My step daughter(8) had some friends over and they were in the process of leaving, my step daughtwr was going to go with them. My son (2) was on the back of the couch, which was next to the basement stairs. My stepdaughter pulled him from the back of the couch and he starts crying. I hear this and come from the other room to see what's going on and I hear her friends ask her why she pushed him. At this point, I tell her to go to her room. She starts to stammer about how mom said she could go, etc, but I repeat myself. She starts to scream and cry and runs off to our 10 month olds room (her former bedroom). I follow her and unlock the door and by this point I am yelling for her to go to her room. She's screaming and crying and I grab her arm and drag her to the stairs for her to go to her room. 

A few minutes later she calls my wife on the phone from downstairs and is screaming and crying about how I hurt her and she's scared, etc. My wife is trying to calm her down and tells her that she can take her to get her arm looked at, she can still go with her friends, and how I won't be staying there that night. So at this point I start packing a bag, and leave to stay with a friend. 

Fwiw, my step daughters biological dad is very abusive towards his girlfriend and was towards my wife when they were together. He's broken down doors to get to my wife and held her at knife point, etc. 

So next day is here. I try to go to work but I can't focus because all I can think about is the absolute worst stuff. No word from my wife at all. I go home over lunch and I am terrified of what I will find. Everything seems okay, and I shower. I don't know how to initiate a conversation with my wife because I am so anxious about her reaction. So I just kinda wander around the house until she asks me what I was doing there and why I wasn't getting what I was there for and leaving. I ask her why I can't come home and she says that she can't have me around my step daughter and she is trying to get the house ready for when the kids will get picked up from daycare. She says she's just kinda done with me and I start crying. She says if the 8 year old can't cry here then I can't at all and she doesn't give a fuck. 

I pack a few days worth of stuff. Before I leave I tell her that I love her and that I just want to talk. 

Any friend I have talked to about this (some parents, some social workers professionally) don't think I did anything wrong and think my wife is waaaaaaaay overreacting. 

Other relevant details are that we have had some behavior problems with my step daughter lately. I think its just the developmental stage she's in. And last week she grabbed her brother from behind in a bear hug and threw him onto the couch in a not very nice way. So she's been know to push and throw him. 

At this point, I haven't heard anything from my wife, and I just want to go home to see my kids. I am so filled with anxiety because I don't want to get divorced (it actually would be divorce 2 for me). I love my family so much. I actually have therapy tomorrow but I am not sure what that will do. I miss my wife and just want to go home. 

I know what I did was not appropriate. I feel terrible and so full of guilt and anxiety. I just want to go home and hug everyone and talk to my wife. I want to improve our communication but I don't know what to do at this point.