Getting into a really good college was always really important to me. My social anxiety has pretty much ruined my chances. It would be different if I had al the qualifications and didn’t get in but everything I didn’t do that make my application subpar are directly relegated to my social anxiety and sometime it makes me want to just give up and not live anymore because I didn’t live up to my own expectations because of something that feels so fucking stupid. Like it’s cared of people??  Their just fucking people but my brain could never understand that and now my dream feel so far away and spare me the “you don’t have to go to a good college for good opportunities” bullshit. At the end of the day, for a mental ill neurodivergent black women life I fucking hard and all I wanted was to meet my own expectations