I know this is going to sound terrible and I know I'm a horrible person for thinking it. But I just need to get it out. 

My mother told me about a family friend who has been in hospital for months and recently was diagnosed with a severe MH condition. 

Meanwhile, I feel like I am masking 24/7 to pretend I am okay and can cope with the demands of society/my own basic needs/the needs of those around me, and my bpd diagnosis was recently changed to depression and anxiety (I still believe I'm borderline hence this sub). Every time I end up in ED for a suicide attempt they send me home within a couple of days because "the statistics show long hospital stays reduce recovery outcomes" or some bs aka "we don't believe that you're suffering." 

I'm so jealous of this friend for getting to stay in hospital for so long and getting their pain and struggle taken seriously. I want that so badly. It's not fair.