Every time I start to make friends get confidence feel good about my looks it all gets taken away. I struggled with dieting hard then the next year covid hit me badly could barely make it through school then this year I get a mental break 
. I’m alone again and all my friends left me except like 2. Also I apparently have some trauma from bullying that causes panic attacks so that’s great. Why can’t I ever have something like I feel cursed or something. It’s like the devil send a 260 pound linebacker to my life to truck me and set me back to square -20 and God looks at it as character development.