**I want to clarify, I am not in any way, shape or form asking for medical advice.** 

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Hello all. I just picked up my first prescription for propanolol 10mg today, but I'm having a hard time getting myself to take it. Long story short I was prescribed this for debilitating health anxiety that began manifesting some very nasty and unwelcome physical reactions. The physical reactions create a vicious cycle of hyperfocusing on said physical symptoms, specifically my heart rate, which causes me to be more anxious, then I have a panic attack, then I worry about my heart rate rising during my panic attack, then my anxiety rises, then I have a panic attack again, and so on and so forth, you know the drill. The problem is.... my health anxiety heavily revolves around my heart and fear of dying. I've had multiple EKGs, cardiologist appointments, and a Holter monitor as recently as December, all of which have told me my heart is healthy, but I'm constantly in fear that my heart is going to stop at any moment. When my heart rate became a constant resting rate of over 100, my doctor offered this prescription to help with the physical conditions of my anxiety.

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I was excited at first, it felt like a huge step in the right direction,  but the fear has dug its claws in again once more and I fell into Web MD hell, which promptly erased any shred of confidence I had in taking this drug. I know I'm physically healthy. I know for a fact I have no heart problems. But I can't get past the thought that as soon as I take this medication, I'm going to drop dead of cardiac arrest, the second it hits my tongue. I'm terrified. I shoved the medication bag under my pillow so I don't have to think about it oe look at it. It is now the pillows problem to deal with. I'm trying my best to stop looking up "propanolol deaths" and doomscrolling pubmed articles but I just can't shake the feeling that it's going to kill me, as much as I want to be rid of these physical symptoms, I want more to not die. 

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I guess in conclusion, what I'm looking for is reassurance. Any and all. Tell me how your medication changed your life for the better. I would love if someone who has had a similar situation, whether it's the same medication or not, can tell me how taking the dreaded instadeath pill went for them, and how very much alive they are today. I'd like knowledge from people who understand the risks (or lack of) of this medication to inform me that it's benign and remind me that my doctor (bless her heart, she is a liter angel) isn't out to kill me. I want to hear from people who have also taken this medication, and are here to type to me today. Unless you are a ghost, in that case, please go away.