All thoughts I have about my world and myself are completely contradictory. I’m having a hard time staying grounded. I’m scared. I’m paralyzed with fear as I don’t know what I believe is the truth. I don’t know what to act on. My one truth that I’m scared of, when I fully believe  that truth, I cannot think about my other truth. 

At first I could. But it’s gotten bad fast. I’ve been fighting with myself in my head for 2 days. I’m not making any sense to myself. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’ve tried to write it out. That’s all I’ve been doing. But no matter how long I write I realize more and more how wrong. Paranoid. And delusional I am. Yet as I say this I don’t know if I believe that

I feel so untrusting of everything