This isn’t technically sexually speaking (although it applies to me 22female in that way ALSO which goes hand in hand with my hypersexuality too) but more so like... I guess the strict definition of it? 

I honestly think I have a ton of sadistic personality tendencies and was curious how many here do too. I feel like the saying “hurt people hurt people” is absolutely true.... but I feel like I take pleasure in hurting people because I’ve been SO broken? I’ll do things that are intentionally malicious or cruel to the people who love me just so they feel the same pain or get a revenge kick... which makes me question: 

Am I even able to properly love at all?!

I definitely will be talking to my therapist about this week but just wondering since this community is way less judging than she can come off to me LOL I feel safe here. While I’m mindful, it’s really difficult for me to change this behavior especially because I feel like this has grown over my WHOLE life and is sometimes the only way I feel peace with a situation or person or self-elevation or feeling wanted/needed