It's almost as if I subconsciously check back with the opinions of those that put me down or made me feel I wasn't ok as I was. It makes me think I'm always doing something wrong. That I always have to change the way I am but I'm also then not sure who I'm supposed to be nor can I remember how it felt to be the 'me' that was natural and autonomous. 

Its as if I still feel the eyes of those that detested the way I was, burning through my soul!! Its like being watched over by a dictator in my head.