Every moment I feel burdened, an ache in my heart, a loss of breath, the lights of what use to be my soul would stop reflecting in my pupils. I would feel as if I was drowning but without water. Just being alive is an inconvenience to others. The only things that ever helped me find myself again are older songs with melodies of which rivaled classical tunes like Claire De Lune. Sometimes I'd listen to ASMR sounds, voices, anything to make peace with myself to sleep. Other times I'd stare at the dark ceiling and focus on a point that allowed my eyes to adjust as if I truly see nothing.