I will keep it short : I believe that I may experience the first symptoms of... a mental illness ? I started being "weird" at 16, then I thought it calmed down at 18, but now I feel like it only grew stronger. Idk if it is autism, ADHD, schizophrenia, depression or simply stress.

I do not have the mental energy to search for therapy. My mind is a mess and I can't think. I just act. I know there's a therapy service at my school, it's supposed to be anonymous but I'm afraid that the teachers might spy on me at the sessions, like, I'm 100% sure the therapist will give them infos about me.

At this point I just need someone to talk to. Not even a therapist. My whole body is cold. I wish I could hug someone, that would certainly calm me.

I don't know if I need therapy or if I just need to keep going. I am so afraid of everything.