My life. I feel lost. Been trying to do nofap for 3 years. Every goddamn time I relapse then I try not to do it again but I do it again the next day. I have been failing over and over. Every time I regret it and get annoyed with myself because I have to restart again. Even when I feel so tired to do pmo I still do it. Life is a wreck for me and believe me I have tried so hard. Almost drop a tear here. I can't see a way out of my situation. Sometimes I could do was like 2-3 weeks max but I also have other problems (low self esteem, depression, anxiety) and I tried to fix them for 3 years and I just can't. I hate myself and my life. 

Also I have been through psychosis at 2019 maybe this made my brain fucked up. I did 14 day streak and relapsed 2 times today it was all because of these reasons. I feel like there is no reason to fight and even if I fight I always get defeated and overwhelmed. Everytime I get back up I just go back down. I am always depressed and hopeless that nothing will change. No matter what I try or how hard I do, I always fall down. Everyone living lives with less problems and I am suffering. I hate this rat race and world we are living in. I can't progress at all, it feels so distant and suicidal. I can't focus on my  studies because everything reminds me of pain and I am sick of this place. If I am not relapsing then I play video games to numb this feeling.
After all this I wish I was alone and away from everyone or be homeless
I want to get better but nothing motivates me to get up. 
My parents don't understand what I go through.
If you read this far I want to thank you if anyone has any advice please help.