I thought I did okay; I knew this was going to be hard but I had to do it.

My partner has a lot of intrusive thoughts. She wanted to get something off her chest. She said she thought "Oh no, he's here," when I joined a discord call with her friends. She felt bad for it. Admittedly, I wasn't too thrilled by this myself. I'm mostly into DBT; my default emotional response was outright feeling of abandonment, but I analyzed the feeling. I wanted to say I wasn't upset but, I really was, so I told her I just felt a little sad. 

At that, she started to guilt herself saying she was a bad person, and that a good person wouldn't say thing these things; she mentioned she felt an overwhelming sense of guilt over everything. I told her this was 100% not her fault in the slightest, and that I'm aware that intrusive thoughts really suck. I told her we should try our best to ground ourselves, that some things need to be talked about. I also mentioned that a lot of the time we'll have more bad thoughts about the people we love more times than we'd like to think.

It took awhile, but I finally calmed her down. We don't have big arguments really; I'm a quiet, discouraged borderline, so I tend to lash out or simply not express myself; it took a monumental effort just to say "I felt a little sad over that." It's been a difficult day today, but I feel guilty myself now. I wish I could have avoided her feeling this way, because in the end, it seemed it wasn't worth expressing myself if that was going to hurt her. 

At the end of the day though, I realize these difficult things should be talked about.