
I am at my lowest point right now and I am looking for good advice please. Please don't be mad at me. I am in my 20s and I am facing many issues in my life. My GPA is below 3.0 and I am scared that I won't find a job after college. I am in college studying a useless major and I don't even currently have a job part time to save up money. I am still living with my parents in my 20's with nothing going for me. I feel like a damn child.I am tall, ugly and I don't have much success in anything at all in life. I barely talk to women and no girl wants to date an ugly, dumb guy like me. Majority of the time if I want to make friends, I talk to men a lot. Most things that I do, I fail at. I don't have any real hobby except watching the news and scrolling through social media. I get anxiety and troubles from watching the news because of negativity and thoughts of being famous. 



Yes, it sounds bizarre but that's something that I don't want because I am extremely incompetent and awkward. I am not the smartest person alive and I become like shit everyday. Living with my toxic family and staying at home everyday feels like crap because I have no money or anything to do with my life at all. I feel like I am not making any progress in my life. I never talked or kissed a girl and I am a virgin. I have no friends, no trustworthy family members, no beautiful girlfriend, no money, no job, no charisma, no talent. I really don't know what else to do anymore because I have been suffering with my life and nobody is helping me out. The worse thing is that I have feelings like a child. My mom even locks me outside the house and I had to sleep in the streets for a while in the cold. I can't live with her anymore. 


Unfortunately, I am a very sensitive person. I feel extremely sensitive when people say disgusting things to me, especially when they call me worthless and stupid. I have had so many negative things said to me that it's extremely painful and it keeps me depressed and kills my mood for weeks. I am actually a really dumb person who says the most stupidest crap ever. I am not very smart and I have low intelligence. I feel like breaking down and crying because of how pathetic my life is right now. I feel so pathetic even admitting that right now. I am the definition of a complete loser and I have to change. I have been speaking to therapists for up to 5-7 years but nothing really works well. 



All the time I go to therapy, it's just talking and complaining. I never get anything done. Nothing is solved when I go. All I do is talk and vent. Then they ask about my day. What is a painless method of death that's not too painful and easily accessible? Seriously, what way?