Ok so I'm by no means the healthiest person on the planet (mentally speaking at least) but recently someone I talk every single day with pretty much no exceptions (except for 2 breaks we took from each other) opened up to me about having BPD, I love this girl a lot, like really a stupid amount, I already knew there was something up with her that affected her mood and the way we talked or that she treated me, after a fight we had while she was having an episode (I didn't know it was an episode at the time) I asked I finally asked if she was bipolar because it had been on my mind before, she later opened up about BPD. 


I wouldn't say this to her because she keeps going on about how she doesn't want people close to her and some days I'm terrified she'll push me away for good but since she's told me about it I feel much closer to her and I think I love her more than before, just knowing she's going through this but she's still so nice and kind, I don't know how to explain it but she's just the coolest person on this planet and one of the strongest I know and I wanna talk to her for hours on end and never leave but I think that's where my own issues start.


I also don't wanna go on about how it affects her or what she does/say because that just feels wrong to say, I feel like I could go on about her and this for hours but I'm just looking for ways to be good for her, better, since she's told me about it I've been reading a lot about BPD but it's not easy, it seems to be different to everyone and everyone is different already BPD or not so, feels like there's no real solution or answer and there's much more wrong I could do and say than there is right and I just wanna do right by her, I really wanna give her the best I can.


Also a big big big point I kinda failed to mention in all this is that I live an ocean away from her, but that really hasn't changed the way I feel about her, but it makes things really hard, my issues, her issues, the BPD... Next week it's gonna be 4 months we've been talking daily but I worry so much one of these days will be the last and I won't even know