It’s been two years since we met. I liked him, he definitely liked me. 
We became friends, lovers, and then something else. After 9 months he wanted more but I was selfish, I said no. When he pushed me for a relationship I couldn’t do it. It felt too final, id be trapped surely. I need to be free. 
Two years later and I’ve been dreaming of him. I wanted him to stay the moment I told him to leave. He left and I cried. 
I just miss him so much. I need him with me. I can’t breathe when I think how badly I hurt him. 
I want to get in touch again but I won’t because it’s selfish. I can’t guarantee a stable, healthy relationship and he deserves that. I want him but it I’m trying to be a good person and dragging him back in would go against that. 
Should I apologise or should I leave it be?