I hypersexualize the fuck out of myself. I know im good at it. And it makes people stay so I do it.

However I feel like any sexual encounter I've has has been the other person's idea. And anytime I try to initiate it gets turned down and it hurts.


My new boyfriend of a couple months ALWAYS wants to have sex. There's times im not into it but ill do it because he's turned on and I want to make him happy. Well he came over tonight to play video games and I was horny af and excited to do it 

But instead he said he had to go home. I tried. And he asked if I was and I said yes and he said he was too tired. I usually get that but its like he always wants to and even if im not feeling it I do it for him. It just hurts my feelings. I feel rejected and I just want him to go away and not talk to me.

I hate this.