My ex. Last person to have sex with. Maybe I can drop off some baggage... Maybe they made it seem like a lot of issues were mine... But that can't be right. Sometimes I feel really aware of the invalidation I felt and also self invalidation. I can own that. I want an apology from them though. They also want an apology from me. Funny. That's not realistic. 

It was abusive, dangerous, aggressive and truthfully deadly. Never trusted one another. I lie to myself. If I could go to therapy with him, I'd sit him down and ask "why'd you force yourself into me?" 

I think he'd kill me right there. I know he's bad news. I knew he was neurotic. What hurt a lot was when he called me a liar, as if he refused to sympathize with me, seeing as he himself was just the same.