I've posted here before. But I feel my BPD is becoming overwhelming  
I hate myself

I hate being around me

I'm irrational and I push people I love away. Until they leave forever 

I hate that I need people and that I still can't stop pushing them away

I hate that everything I've done has led me to a place where I'm alone and have no idea wtf it is I'm doing. I have no qualifications

Or work experience

Or anything tangible

Just a history of mental illness and substance abuse alcohol addiction

I don't know how to get out of this. And I'm scared my ongoing presence is just going to drag people down with me.  


If anyone wants to chat? Or anything? Message me?