i was , indeed , making so much progress. i considered myself " recovered " up until maybe two days ago , my BF/FP and my best friend , replaced me. this isnt imaginary abandonment , its real and i literally cannot handle it whatsoever. nothing brings me joy , and i feel so fucking lost. we were a wonderful group of friends , and suddenly , they.. stopped talking to me and now only talk to this other person. i dont fucking get it , and it hurts so , so badly. i dont know what i did , i did so much to be better , and still , it doesnt matter , i get replaced and abandoned and it hurts. i can never tell them how badly it hurts , and no matter how hard i try to do these fucking dbt exercises , and journaling and distracting myself , it doesn't work. i feel like im losing myself again , and it hurts. im not downright suicidal like i used to be , but im still so miserable. i wish i could change things. i never will understand why im never good enough for anybody. i'm just so hurt and lost and i want to curl up and cry. i tried to distance myself and.. it just made it all hurt more. i don't understand this. i can't bear it. i wish it would stop. its ruining me.