IDK if I have hope anymore. A bigger part of me has become hopeless recently. There was always a lack of feeling hope but now the feelings just stronger. I'm not sure what to do anymore...

I've been trying more recently, just getting out, socialising, testing my limits and just trying to enjoy thing without trying to ruin it all. I met someone and things started to get pretty serious. But right now I have major doubts about it all, and I just want to ruin it... but I know that thinking isn't right but I can't help myself 😢 does anyone have any advice with how to try to stop yourself from sabotaging relationships? 