Well today just blew up. My cousins asked (over text to my brother) if they could come over for some brother-sister related festival. I would have had to do all the rituals and I was not keen on them coming over. Plus I am trying to minimize contact with my relatives for various reasons. So I told my brother to tell them not to come over (I am not on whatsapp). My brother doesn't ever respect my wishes. He is always on my case asking me to mingle with them. He also does this in a very aggressive verbal way. He is always berating me for not being "normal" and for not wanting to socialize. Well predictably the whole thing blew up and he started fighting with me. I have also told him before that he can marry whoever he wants but to not hold any expectations from me of socializing with his extended family. In my country festivals and rituals are a big thing and there are so many expectations from a sister-in-law which I intensely dislike. All I want is to be left alone with no obligations. Unfortunately I am not in a position to do so both mentally and financially. Hence I live with my Dad. And I am so miserable about everything. That I am a failure of a person. That I cannot live up to societal expectations. And the future looms with no respite in sight. Now my brother is calling me an evil person and saying I am mentally dirty and stuff like that. And he kept coming in my face saying evil repeatedly. I told him that he should see a psychiatrist too cause the way he was reacting was violent. And he said that I make him react like this. I am responsible for it. He just kept mouthing evil again and again and I could contain myself no longer and I hit him several times.