I really don’t want this life anymore, I don’t see the point. I feel like I’m not living, I don’t see a future, I’m just rotting away as my symptoms get worse and I can’t stand being a part of this world. 2 months I consistently tried to get help but at every turn I was dismissed and fobbed off, now I feel like nobody wants to help and I can’t get access to any proper help. I feel so isolated, but for my relief it’ll cause other people pain. I fantasise about a button, if pressed I’d disappear and I’d be erased from people’s memories and I’d press that button without hesitation. Saying “I don’t want to be here” isn’t enough to be taken seriously. I hate this illness so much, it’s disgusting and cruel, I just want relief from it.