I'm sorry but I literally can't take this anymore. I'm so fucking insecure and I just don't know how to live anymore. Deep inside I'm so passionated about so much stuff, but apart from some bursts of confidence every now and then, I'm just paralysed by my insecurity and I just don't move forward anymore. I love making music, but I barely make it anymore because I hate everything I do. I want to be an artist and I can't fucking stand working this stupid job, I want to finish grad school I'm starting soon, but I can't even work for it anymore because I'm convinced I suck at everything I do. I love reading, writing, painting but all I fucking do is my stupid job and waiting till the day is finished thinking about what a useless terrible person I am. I just want to do the things I love without even thinking about whether I'm good at it or not, but just do them because I enjoy doing them. Everything is such a struggle and I'll end up being no one, without any friends or people around me that inspire me, without any relationships that are actually not abusive. Sometimes it feels like life could be so easy if I just wasn't me.