 I'm 17 turning 18 this year, in high school, about to go to college, and since age 12 I've been in not so great mental condition. I'd go on living like this, except this has really affected my academics these past 2 years. I used to perform quite well in school, but now I can barely manage to score about 20% in my exams. My sleep schedule's completely fucked, I can't focus at all, I have mental breakdowns every time I even think about college or my upcoming college entrance tests and I can't seem to slap myself out of this dull lifestyle, no matter how hard I try.   
 In the back of my mind, I keep telling myself I could continue being just as passive until everything spirals, I'll reach a point where I have no other choice but to succumb to it all. But I think I might be underestimating it. Or maybe I'm overestimating and shouldn't actually worry too much? I really just need answers and help because ultimately, I feel like shit and almost every morning since the beginning of last year has started with me resenting everything and getting out of bed requires me to put in SO much effort. And for what? I spend the rest of the day microsleeping and missing classes and failing to study. I've never really had any goals, ambitions, dreams. I make them up sometimes just to answer people when they ask me, but I don't really mean it. Everyone I know expects so much from me, and anytime I try to tell them that I'm not doing so well, they tell me that I'll be fine, I'll go places, I'm smart after all. But I can't get myself to do anything at all, there's nothing that's motivating me anymore and I lose interest in things very quickly anyways.  
 I think I might need to seek help at this point because I just can't keep doing this. But I don't have the greatest relationship with my parents wherein I can just go up to them and talk to them about my mental health. I have a feeling they might accuse me of using it as an excuse to get away with laziness. They know pretty much nothing about me and still think I'm trying hard to study, when I'd actually given up quite some time ago. So how do I convince them that I might need help, given the fact that any discussion related to mental health is scoffed at where I come from?