i'm 31f, diagnosed with depression in my early 20s, but been coping since my preteens. the friends i have now are very few &amp; far between &amp; were made because they were friends with my sibling first, &amp; my best friend &amp; i have a tendency to be co dependent. 

in the last nearly 10 years, i have been trying to meet &amp; make friends on my own, outside of the same social circle that's been around for 15+ years. none of these friendships have lasted. not for lack of trying, but i find that a lot of times, depression is a major factor to my social issues.

i mask a lot, but it's sososo exhausting, &amp; i am for the most part, open about my mental health. i refrain from trauma dumping or unloading depressive thoughts. the people i meet are generally aware and understanding or deal with things themselves, too.

a consistent pattern i find is that, when my mental health struggles "show" too much, these new friends are quick to disappear and i never hear from them again. 

&amp; i'm just at the end of my rope, i think. i'm so tired of this cycle, tired of depression meeting me at the end of the day, tired of all the psych/therapy, &amp; meds, &amp; masking, all the self care &amp; regulating. &amp; i super just want to give up.

how do you maintain any friendships?