 Hello everyone. I’m looking for some advice on how I can help my mom. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this.

So, just for some background. She has always been the fun, eccentric, hippie kind of mom, always very supportive and loving. She has always been into “woo” stuff, would give me herbs if I was sick as a kid, ect. Ever since she and my dad split up, it seemed like she had this pattern with men, where she would become infatuated and completely lose herself. I’m pretty sure this stems, at least in part, from the fact that she never really had a father.  It seems like in the past year she has become an even more extreme version of herself.

It seemed to have all started when she met this man, who I’ll call Z. Z was a regular customer where she used to work. When I first met Z, my mom invited him over to give me health advice about healing my chronic illness. I was open to hearing what he had to say, but I did not like his vibe at all. He gives off very “guru” kind of vibes, definitely into some deep spiritual stuff, and claimed to have helped many people heal from chronic health problems. It was clear at this point that there was some flirting going on between them. After that, my mom would tell me just to call him up if I was having symptoms. She was very convinced that he would have the right answers. I honestly felt pretty creeped out by this guy, so I refused. 

Fast forward about a year, during which I can’t recall her talking about Z very much. My mom decides she doesn’t want said job anymore, and quits. I’m not really sure how she has money, but it’s been 10 months since then, and to my knowledge, she is still unemployed. During this time, she also lost a lot of weight, and started doing several hours a day of yoga and meditation, journaling, and other things to improve her health.

Now she has gotten the idea somehow, that she and Z are soulmates. She has given away most of her belongings, including her bed and most of her furniture. She is absolutely convinced that any day now, Z is going to ask her to move in with him. For a while I thought, maybe they do have a relationship, but at this point I’m pretty sure he thinks of her as just an acquaintance or maybe a friend. 

After about 6 months of my mom saying this, I reached out to Z and asked when the last time they’d spoken was. He said they’d texted a few weeks ago, but hadn’t seen each other in months. My mom admitted that they didn’t see each other, but they were always together in her dreams. Now it’s been 10 months. When I ask her about this, she will just say he’s busy building their house, or healing people or something.  I think she kinda sees it like “when I’m enlightened enough, we will be together”.

Along with this, my mom also talks a lot about spirits, her ancestors, angels, and her father. It does seem like she is digging up deep emotional wounds and attempting to heal from them. On the surface, she seems happier than ever. Manic even. Talking with her, there are times when I forget about all this, then she will say something completely off-beat, like that something is at the “new house”. She appears to be very in touch with her spirituality, but she also doesn’t appear to be living in reality anymore. My family doesn’t really know what to do, and just thinks that she will eventually realize she’s living in a fantasy.

I live out of state so I can’t check on her regularly, but this behavior has me pretty worried. It almost seems like she’s getting ready for her own death. My sister and I have both suggested therapy to her, but the thing is that she doesn’t see a problem. 

Should I tell Z what’s going on? I know I shouldn’t try and diagnose her or anything, but I really don’t know what to do, or if there’s really anything I CAN do. How long can this really go on? Has anyone known someone to go through something similar? Any advice at all would be really helpful.