I feel like my own life is so pathetic and just drags on. I'm agnostic and I dont really believe in an afterlife, so I've got nothing to look forward to after death except my entire exsistance and mind process will just vanish. I hate living but I hate the exectenial crisis of returning to the state before you were born is worse. I want to believe there is something after death, something better but I just cant make myself believe that. I feel so helpless in a situation where i hate living but i cant die.