When I was diagnosed with anxiety, I was having an extreme case— I was having loads of panic attacks along with the regular everyday anxiety that was preventing me from living my life. My doctor had prescribed me Zoloft and clonazepam (.5mg) for the panic attacks. I wasn’t a huge fan of taking the Zoloft(or any medication) — it made me feel “off”— like a zombie— so i stopped doing it. I took the clonazepam for the panic attacks when they occurred,  but I really wasn’t a fan of consistently taking any of it. So I just stopped altogether and  tried to hack the anxiety on my own. 

Flash forward a few years, and it comes out that my brother— who had never struggled with anxiety— was abusing Xanax. I don’t believe it was prescribed, but I honestly to this day don’t know the full details, other than that he was in deep and got into a major accident over it. 

At this point I fully gave up any and all anxiety medications so they wouldn’t be in the hous.

Recently though, I feel like I’m struggling significantly again,  and I feel I’m in a difficult spot as my anxiety has worsened even further despite my efforts to cope with it naturally. My close friends are worried about me. I’ve been having panic attacks again more frequently. 
But Because things got so bad with my brother, and because I wasn’t a fan of the Zoloft— (or of taking anything really if I can find a way to avoid it) im wary to reach out to someone/to get back on medication. 

I’m afraid that if I’m family knew I was getting on medication they would be triggered/ worried because of the things that happened with my brother. 

I just don’t know what to to because I think I need to take step towards getting on  medication again, but I don’t want to hurt my family or make them worry (even though it wasn’t me with the problem— I believe they would worry after seeing what happened with my brother because it was a really bad situation) obviously I’m wary because I’m not sure how I feel about getting on meds again— and I know my family would over analyze—but I am trying very hard to cope with the anxiety and I think it is too overwhelming to handle on my own. I’m in therapy and even that isn’t enough.

If anyone has thoughts or advice. I would appreciate hearing from you. I just don’t want to disappoint my parents or give them something to worry about &amp; I believe they are strongly against medication after my brothers problems. 

P.S. Sorry I know this is repetitive and I’m rambling but I’m really stressing about what I should do because I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. So any advice is appreciated