So I just had 2 baccy cones (tobacco in a bong) and feel like absolute shit. Questioning life atm, and feel as if I just smoked the shit off of Satan’s ass. I don’t know how to react to anything and am pretty surprised that tobacco in a bong is putting such a mental toll on my brain right now.

Note: I have been dealing with severe depression and anxiety for a while now, and I can’t seem to change, I was caught by police when I took my grandfathers car and took it for a joy ride a year ago and lost all trust from everyone in my family, I’m underage (16) and have been found doing numerous stupid things like drugs from my family. I’ve been told time and time again to stop doing this shit but I keep on doing worse stuff to disappoint everyone further. 

It’s been going on for a while now and figured I needed some help, and all that therapy and shit totally went out the window cause it hasn’t done a damn fucking thing, I’ve tried to end my life a couple times and even after I was on call with a kidshelpline service, it’s all fucking shit, and I’ve tried so many things, I’ve always made a fool of myself in front of other people and always broke promises, I lash out whenever someone hurts my ego and I feel like I’m losing everything, I feel like a selfish prick, and can’t do anything. It’s hurts, it hurts so fucking much, I just want to help people cause I don’t want to see anyone else get hurt like me but I just make it worse, I feel like I’m in this pit with a storm over it and I can’t get out. Someone please help me because I don’t want to be this person anymore and I don’t want anything to do with life anymore, I want to fucking die, I just make things worse I don’t want to do this anymore please help me