My mind is a prison and I’m help captive to intrusive thoughts. I can’t keep doing this and I don’t know how to keep going. Every day I worry and panic over trivial shit and I cannot. Stop. 

Every small thing triggers my anxiety and makes me sick to my stomach because I expect the worst. I constantly have feelings of impending doom and I overanalyze every text, conversation, and interaction I have with anyone. I can’t focus at all when my mind feeds me irrational garbage and I am convinced it’s true regardless of how unrealistic it is. It puts me in a foul mood and I want to scream and cry. I can’t stop asking the same question over and over because I don’t believe the answer given to me in the first place. I don’t believe it when people are genuine towards me because I know there’s got to he something wrong. I don’t expect good things because my anxiety tells me not to. I can’t keep living with a brain that wants me to suffer. 

I struggle from major depression and I’d rather be insanely depressed over anxious about garbage ass shit, the anxiety increasing with every second. I hyperventilate, I get cold sweats, I become shaky and uneasy, I get sick to my stomach, my limbs go numb. Nothing can stop this and I’m in an endless cycle of doom and suffering. I want to burst into tears every time I have an anxiety attack. I need constant reassurance that I’m loved or that people want to be around me, because I don’t believe for a second that anything good could happen to me. 

I’m constantly exhausted and fatigued and irritable. Anxiety has ruined my life and made me a prisoner to my own thoughts. This is out of my control and I can’t help but want to give up. 

I’m sorry to rant but I can’t keep living like this.