This last month has been particularly hard. I'm attempting to get on disability at the moment but am also struggling to afford my medication due to my insurance not being very good. My depression medication, after the manufacturers coupon is $325 and some change (I have to take certain kinds due to some really odd reactions to meds). On top of that, I sold my relatively new Xbox Series X for $300 to be able to fix my car so I can go to my therapy. The worst part was that I was a new psychiatrist who told me she thought I was making up my illness. I guess she doesn't believe men can be raped, even if by other men, while you're a child. Overall, this feels like rock bottom to me. She made me feel like my pain was nothing, like my nightmares are my own fault. My head feels like a cage I cannot escape. My next psychiatrist appointment is a few weeks away and it's someone new. I'm just afraid it'll be the same as the last time. I'm just so crushed from the last month and I just want to crawl in a hole and cry. My family is hardly any help, as they also feel like men can't really have emotions (I come from a long line of absent fathers, alcoholics, and drug addicts also).