In addition to my mood stabilizer and anxiety medication, I've been drinking constantly and chain smoking to cope with work and in an attempt to keep the impulsivity at bay. I've never really had the substance abuse part of all of this but I realize now why so many have it. Navigating this world knowing that youll always be like this and 99% of the people you talk to wont understand why. Drugs and alcohol give me a break. 

I know I have a substance abuse problem developing, and that just makes coping even harder.