People always tell you to find what you want in your life, to get a hobby to distract you, to find things you love and want to pursue. 

But what if you have none and despite trying to find one, can't? I'm a person, who could do anything well, if practiced. I was good at drawing as a teenager, but quit at 20's due to depression. I could sing, but never dared to take singing lessons. Now I don't have the money. I could write and recite well, but oh, who'd want to read me or listen to me, and I just didn't know how to pursue those. Haven't done either in years and years. (I'm 31 now.) I like  to read, but it's not that interesting anymore, even with good books. I read maybe 5 books a year. I've always been big and clumsy, so I suck at sports. No passion there. I like knitting, but do it rarely, it just doesn't engage me... The list goes on and on and on, and none of these interest me enough anymore to try and rekindle the fire. And, well, I don't want to draw/sing/write anymore, as I know I can't get any good at them anymore. 

I don't have any idea what I want to do as my career, and have been unemployed for two years since graduating from a university. No one wants me even into an interview, despite my good CV and cover letters. I don't let my BPD show in those. 

I've never been a fan of anything, had any idols, etc. 

Any tips or ideas? :( My life is sad, lonely and miserable as it is.