TW: self harm/cutting 

for a few years i stopped cutting. but i replaced that, almost instantly w smoking. it helped w my social anxiety, as i was able to speak to more people &amp; make more friends in smoking areas at college &amp; motives. 

i would always say to my therapist that although smoking was bad, whenever i had an urge to “do something” or felt futile, smoking was better than cutting coz there wasn’t that intense shame involved. 

recently tho, i’ve been finding it hard &amp; resorted to both cutting AND smoking. i know i have to stop one of them, but i don’t think i’m at a point where i can stop both of them (coz without these i resort to drugs or attempted suicides which is SO much worse). 

so, which do i stop?

p.s. i’m open to hearing suggestions about healthy coping mechanisms that have actually worked but apart from these coping mechanisms i live a fairly healthy lifestyle (i sleep 8hrs a day, do yoga, meditate, eat healthy &amp; avoid mood-altering substances for the most part)