I wish my life wasn't like this. I'm so irrationally sad all the time about everything I hate it. I just want to enjoy my life but it feels like whenever I'm doing good I start feeling like shit again for no reason. It makes me feel like my medicine isn't working anymore which I'm so scared of. I'm so reliant on my medicine to feel normal that if it were to stop working like I've heard of happening to other people I'm scared I'll be suicidal again. I live such a shell of a life I just want to be happy. Not even happy at this point I just don't want to be sad all the time anymore