Backstory: this isn’t related to the COVID vaccine, this is about the vaccines you get when you are young.

I got at least one shot of all the vaccines (MMR, varicella, etc) when I was younger, but my mom thought they were causing me to get too hyper and assumed it was a bad reaction, so she stopped; she’s always had an anti-vaccine attitude in general. Ever since then, I’ve never gotten the yearly flu shot or any of the required vaccines; my mom always filed for religious exemptions for school. I’m 18 now and I’ve finally convinced her that I need and want to finish them to feel safe and not to go through difficulty with requirements for colleges and stuff. 

Tomorrow I’m getting the 2nd dose of the MMR vaccine and I’m really terrified; I start panicking every time I think about it. I don’t like the thought of needles and the idea of potential side effects and pain: I had a fine reaction to the first dose when I was younger so I know realistically I should still be fine, but I’m really nervous since the last time i’ve had a shot was when I was about 4; I don’t remember what it feels like and that freaks me out a lot. Does anyone have any tips for tomorrow and how to manage my anxiety? I really don’t like when things happen unexpectantly so I feel like looking at the needle while it happens might help me, but I feel like that might backfire.