I’m not sure if this post is better suited in Relationship Advice or here, but I want to get advice from people with borderline in hopes of getting some perspective. 

I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years now. I have a 15 year old child and he has an 18 year old and 16 year old. My child lives with us full time and his youngest lives with us half time. 

I really love our relationship. He’s so good to me and is patient and loving even throughout some major depressive episodes and whatnot over the years. 

The problem is I don’t love playing Mom to his kids. I don’t like when they come around and some days I fantasize about moving out into my own place until his kids move out. I know our ‘parenting kids’ phase is coming to an end soon as our kids are almost adults, but I find myself feeling really resentful when his child leaves messes around the house and is disruptive while I work at home. I find myself feeling major anxiety when it’s his day to return to his dads for the week. 

I just need some advice on whether this is somewhat normal/common feelings or is maybe some sort of splitting and whether this is something I can work through with my partner or if it’s a deal breaker. 

When I first met him, I thought both of us having kids was exciting and felt like I wanted to do the ‘blended family’ thing but now I’m feeling really confused and shameful for having these feelings. And not sure what to do. 

Advice would be appreciated.