I've finally built up the courage to tell my parents what's going on. 

I just got done talking with my therapist, and today has been pretty good overall (unlike the past..oh, month or so), so I think I'm in a positive enough state to actually do it before I start overthinking. 

I've been working on a document for about a week now, as I feel like emailing them and explaining what's going on will get me to actually say more, and then talk to them in person later. It's a sort of awkward way of doing it, but I think it's my best option. Typing is just more comfortable.

But, things will be different. My parents haven't the slightest idea of what borderline is, or that I have high anxiety, or any of the other variety of *wonderful* things going on. The most shocking will be about our faith. For a while, I've had trouble going to church as I get anxiety attacks about 98% of the time I'm praying, so I'm going to explain that to them and I know they will flip. But there's nothing I can do. They will pray, have me do some extra prayers with them, I will be all anxious, but life will move on. 

I just know that this is one of my very few chances of actually being able to do it. If I don't  use this opportunity, I might not feel good enough for several more weeks. 

I mainly just wanted to let you all know about this because I need a way of backing myself into a corner. I usually work better when I do that, so I set myself up for success (or what feels like failure at times, but will end up good after it's over)  just like this. 

So thanks for listening, I'm gonna go share that document and hope that they don't freak out tonight as I want to have one day, just one day, without things going totally wrong. 

Feeling bad can wait. There's always tomorrow :)          (if only it worked like that, haha)