I don't know if this is a bpd thing or a depression thing or a laziness thing or a me thing or actual fact, but everything seems so damn meaningless. I don't know how everyone expects me to be hApPy and prOdUctIve when I don't care about anything?? Why would anyone. I have no goals, no identity, I don't know what the fuck I want. So how could I fight for it when I don't know what it is?? How could I ever get "better"?