Slowly starting to see the lengths I'm willing to go to to not have to face abandonment from someone in my life. Keep thinking that maybe if I can keep them close for long enough that they'll eventually see through the BPD and want to stick around for the rest of it. But I'm scared about how far I'll end up having to go to not have to face this feeling that leaves me crying myself to sleep every night. How much of myself do I sacrifice before it becomes too much or I'm just not me any more. How do I show people the me they're used to isn't the real me. 26 years of this shit and I still don't know what to do when it gets hard.