Every day I gain more insight into how this disorder has affected me over the years. I've been dealing with this as long as I can remember, and separating myself from these learned behaviors is incredibly difficult. I feel great about myself sometimes like I'm the coolest person around, but at the same time I feel like a complete scumbag. I manipulate for attention, I'm clingy, I have no personality. I'm a ghost.

What irks me most is how I feel as though I'm just making all of this up for attention, but I know I'm not. I do suffer from this, I meet all the symptoms, I've been diagnosed twice, I still can't believe this is me.

Between this and the other stuff, I feel like a mess.