Each year since I’ve been on my own, when I take my kids trick or treating it’s insanely depressing. Then when it’s Thanksgiving, it’s even moreso. And then Christmas hahahahhaahahaha.

I think I thought it would still be exciting to live these things vicariously through my children, or that seem them excited would somehow make me feel great. I feel glad that they seem to enjoy these things for the most part, but man it just bums me the eff out especially immediately after the festivities are over. Like oh this didn’t excite me and it was another event or holiday I had to plan for four kids all alone. I know tonight when we come home, they’ll go to bed and my night will be incredibly depressing and I’m dreading it already. I hate how broken my stupid brain is.