I have horrible anxiety that causes me to overthink things and fear the worst. My boyfriend and I been together for 7 months and all though he has always been super understanding I’m scared I will eventually be too much. 

I have constant anxiety attacks when I don’t hear from for a long time, if his text sound weird, or he doesn’t call me back for a long period of time. I instantly think “He hates me. He doesn’t love me anymore. He’s wants to break up with me.” I don’t want to lose him. I love him dearly and I’m in rough spot. He makes me so happy but I can’t fucking control my anxiety attacks and panicking 

I never had an anxiety attack in front of him. He knows I have anxiety but doesn’t know about my anxiety attacks and yet to see me go through one. Last night was horrible though. My boyfriend usually always text me when he is at work or before he goes into work. So I text him “Have a good day at work I love you.” and he says “I love you too.” Hours later I ask him how is work and any stories because he would usually text me on his break. Nothing…

He requested us to share locations so we know when we get home safe when we first started dating. He returns home still no text back. Nothing just blank. So I try calling him to which he instantly declines it and says “Otp with a friend.” He didn’t answer the question about how his day was. Just a simple “otp with a friend.” I told him that okay and maybe i could talk later. He never responded. It’s been 12 hours later since he sent me he was otp with a friend and still nothing. 

This is the part where I might sound crazy but I texted him over and over. Maybe around 8 text. (2 of them being voice recordings) first time I ever blew up his phone but I was worried. He didn’t text me all day before than besides saying I love you and that was it. By this point my brain was coming up with scenarios and I started balling my eyes out. I was breathing frantically and clinching my skin hard to calm my self down. I was so scared I did something wrong and pushed him away. 

The text weren’t demanding or anything they were simple questions and asking him if he was okay. Voice recordings were just me calmly apologizing if I got in the way and letting hink know I love him and hope to hear from you soon. He has yet to reply at all. I feel so ignored and unnoticed. I feel crazy like nobody understands me. I feel broken. My boyfriend always makes an effort. He always gives me little gifts, constantly tells me he loves me, says sweet things. So why do I feel this way. I feel so broken.