Hello! I’m a 17 year old looking for some advice. I don’t know what wrong with me. I’ve been to therapy and everything. Even to the mental hospital but no one can pinpoint what is wrong. My mom doesn’t believe anything is wrong with me, and she tells my doctors and therapists this, so they have already dismissed me when I walk through the door. Here are some of the things I deal with and my concerns in list form for convenience. If anyone has ANY input, I would be more than thankful.

1. I can’t remember anything from my childhood. Or what happened 3 seconds ago. Everything feels like a dream and like I’m watching myself from far away.

2. I have gaps in my memory sometimes. Where everything is just black, or I know I did something but can’t remember doing it fully.

3. I dissociate REALLY bad and have been for months. I haven’t felt at the front of my head since last September. It had completely destroyed my grades and relationships with people. Whenever I think about what’s wrong with me (like rn) I get super dissociated and go into autopilot. It’s hard to type. This also happens when something stressful happens or someone talks to me. I have to actively fight to stay in the present and not get pushed back.

4. I hear voices sometimes. About once a month. I started writing them down while in the mental hospital. Keep in mind, these aren’t like thoughts. They are loud. They are obviously coming from my head, so I’m not hearing them, but my brain processes them like I’m hearing them if that makes sense. Here are my notes 

  *females voice, calm but disappointed tone* *in left ear mostly kinda surround sound* “everything is failing”

*whisper female voice, about my age, soothing and deeper than mine. Right next to my right ear* “hey”

*call of duty guy voice* *intercom noise* ——- inbound! Get down! 

*while I was laughing my ass off* *deep mans voice whispering* “what..the fuck”

*female voice open mouth gasp* (right ear)

5. I panic and go into delusions sometimes. My mom wasn’t home one time when I woke up. I spam called her and my sister and neither answered. I started panicking and thinking they were both dead and had been dead, but I just imagined them being alive and my neighbors were watching me panic feeling bad for me bc they knew I was delusional and lost my mom. My mom and sister were fine. 

6. Sometimes I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and be really unfamiliar with my surroundings, even though I’ve lived here for quite some time. This also sometimes happens in places I’m familiar with.


I’m sure there are some things I’ve missed. I just want someone’s input to maybe name of the of these things if they have names, or maybe having someone say they deal with the same thing and know what it is. I just want some insight. I’m not necessarily looking for a diagnosis on reddit, but if this sounds like anything you know of I would love that hear it and look into it. It might help me find what I need. I just feel helpless and stuck.
And if anyone is curious, I have been diagnosed with ADHD, C-PTSD, GAD, and MDD by the mental hospital I was in. I was tested for none of these and I was only there 2 weeks.