I overdosed 

I told my SO of almost 5 years - he's angry, blames himself, hard time wrapping his head around it 

Starting to feel a bit neglected on his behalf. It was a stupidly selfish thing to do on my behalf, I'm a big sister to 4 younger siblings who basically adore me, and a daughter to my mum who is my best friend, and then of course, my SO who has stuck by me through thick and thin. 

It happened 2 days ago, (Saturday) he hasn't been to see me and we haven't really spoken. Not sure what to do or say. 

It's a selfish thought but more negativity is not what I need. My mums first reaction when I came to her when the effects kicked in (&amp; realised what I'd done and panicked) was to scream at me and call me stupid, but she helped me throw up &amp; kept me safe. 

My SO has put up with a lot with me, and he also has issues with depression - am I asking too much now? Am I being impatient? 

I realise as I'm typing it is very very difficult on his behalf too, like.. What do you do when your GF tries to kill herself with no warning as such, and we'd argued that morning too. 

I dunno. Just needed to vent. Feeling confused, lost, selfish, numb, angry, bleh 