It's been 3 years and i've been waiting to get into a good college but i am failing for three years because of my negligence. Now I am just depressed and it's even more difficult to think about it. Everyday, everytime i just regret over my past decisions. I left everything and have been single forever my life. 
It feels like I can do that again but it won't have that much value now as so many people will be ahead of me. It feels like just to let go of life and see what worse can happen than this.