I dont want to start another semester. I dont want to live with my parents for 4 more years. Im sick of ruining my relationship. Im an embarrassment to my gf. Im having new menstrual problems. I cant feed myself enough. Im sick of being alone. I feel out of touch with the world. I cant even sleep at night lately. I wish I was normal. I know Im not enough for her and I dont know why shes still here. I hate the way the world works. Nobody cares about real issues. I cant understand things like new years celebrations. Nothing changes. Its so weird to see people live happily and expect better things. Nothing motivates me. Ill get a degree because society tells me to then get a stupid job. I hate the people who made life the way it is today. My life is a constant cycle of being suicidal and getting to a point that I see as "recovery." Im sick of everything.