I worry I'm emotionally abusive because I want my boyfriend to get diagnosed. We've been together over 2 years and he gets really distressing POCD/incest OCD/racist/sexist and harm thoughts. He also tends to play devil's advocate and claims its his OCD and he can't help it because it makes him doubt his morals?

A year and a half ago, he ruined my family vacation by texting me a new confession every hour or 2. Really upsetting stuff like thinking Rachel is hotter or that he had sexual thoughts about his mom/cousin (intrusive i think?) or about all the women he sexted before me or how he loved incest porn as a young teen or how he pegged himself with a broom and toilet brush. Just constant. After a few weeks I told him he needed to stop confessing *right now*. It took weeks of me ignoring him for a few hours to stop. Some of the confessions really hurt like how he thought I was a loser a few times for having 400 followers on Instagram or that he thought I was ugly/he could do better a few times. He would never really apologise, it was always "I'm sorry my OCD made me say it"/"I'm sorry you feel that way but its not my fault I have OCD". It's never "I'm sorry". 

Things escalated after almost a year of him hiding the OCD. This summer, I begged and cried for him to get a diagnosis to prove to me he is safe to be around. This made his OCD worse because I had so little faith in him, which I think is abusive on my end and I feel terrible for it. I told him several times that  in good conscience, I couldn't marry/have kids with him if i wasn't certain he was innocent. He fell asleep arguing with me over this a few times, that's how repetitive it got. On my 21st birthday, we were staying at a hotel and he confessed some POCD thoughts and I started sobbing because I thought he was too selfish to give me one day of peace or to even get help. He told me to shut up in case anyone heard my crying. I sat crying in the bathroom for like 30 mins on my bday, before he apolosgied.  I still can't believe it but after the "sorry its my OCD can't help it" apology, I called him a "f***ing AH" and threw a wet cotton pad in his direction. As it flew through the air I immediately regretted it and thought "wtf when did I become this monster?". He laughed it off but I still think this 100% crossed the line. I've stopped asking him to get help and his confessions have lessened a lot but I still wish he'd get help as I knew a relapse is inevitable. Have I been emotionally abusive to him? What should I do to help? Do what I'm doing now and ignore it?