My husband has been recently diagnosed with BPD. He has always struggled with mental illness, primarily ADHD. 

Everyone has always just called him an asshole. He is hot-headed and tends to fly off the handle emotionally. Anger is his go to emotion for everything. 

He definitely lives in a world of black and white where a person is either with him or against him. I have been both these people in his mind. 

When he goes into a rage it tends to follow with a couple days of being mopey and isolated. He knows he has done a bad thing. 

I feel so bad for him because he can't really control it but at the same time I don't want to enable the behavior. He has no real therapy skills yet and seems to like to place blame of everything on to someone or something else. 
I feel like if I point this out he will just say I'm wrong and don't understand. 

He has been through a few counselors who after a few sessions say they can't help him because he tells then he has tried their tricks...like stopping to breath...and it just doesn't work. When he gets mad he says it comes from nothing and there is no build up.

He is just starting a light/vibration therapy that is a supposed to help rewire subconscious when you have PTSD not sure if it will help