Hello all, been diagnosed with BPD officially for a few months now, but I've had strong suspicions for a while before that. (Also, this is my first full-blown Reddit post, so bear with me if it's rough.) I've had a few FPs before, and have no pride in saying I've been toxic to people before (FPs and ex-friends alike), and was poor at implementing any concept of boundaries. Self-awareness and a genuine push to do better, along with therapy, have started to improve things, but I haven't been in therapy for long.

My current FP is someone with whom I have a... complex relationship (friends and coworkers, but I also look up to him as a father-like figure - he's much older than me). He knows I have BPD, and I told him that he's my FP before, but I doubt he fully understands the meaning/ramifications of it or even comes close. I keep in touch with him and see him semi-regularly (I used to see him much more frequently but covid has thrown a wrench in it). However, I'll be away for several weeks (necessary business travel - otherwise I wouldn't be traveling and risking so much right now), and I know being away from him will take a toll on me. This has happened before and it was pretty rough for me. We've already been apart for a few days and I'm sorely missing him and plagued with nerves. It's a struggle to explain just how intense this is to anyone who knows me (and him), but of course none of them have BPD, so.

How do you deal with being apart from your FP for extended time periods? I know distraction can help (and it does, for me, to some extent), but thinking about him quite literally consumes me in ways I can already know to expect. I'll probably semi-regularly stay in touch with him, and I was thinking about buying him a holiday gift so I can put some energy towards that. Any other ideas or insight from anyone else who has been somewhere similar? (Yes, I do plan to bring it up with my therapist, but I've had some frustrations with getting good insight from them before, so I also wanted to look elsewhere.)