I’ve been in the army for 3 years. I haven’t seen my family since I joined. both my parents got cancer and are gonna die within a few months. I stopped talking to my brother a few weeks back and I got a divorce today. I told a couple of my closer friends at work I when I was gonna kill myself and where I’ll be at when it happens. It’ll be my 23rd birthday in my house I’ll have a little get together with some of my friends I’ll get everyone fucked up take them home and I’ll take a knife to my throat when I get home I want to make sure everyone that was there that day had a good day before I go.I already wrote my note telling everyone that it wasn’t their fault I’m just getting tired and I don’t think I want to be here anymore. I got a new therapist and I’ve been talking to them but I don’t think they really care. I don’t think they want to be there either. It’s midnight right now and my brain has been drifting and I can’t sleep so I needed to put this somewhere so I can let my head rest.