So I was diagnosed recently, I feel like I identify with a good amount of symptoms: self harm, unsafe impulsive behaviors, derealization, and I’ve said some pretty evil shit to my friends when I thought they hated me, (IE: friend said he didn’t want me to go eat with him and I got really mad and started making homicidal threats) But I couldn’t ever say some shit like that because of some idea that was formed in my head that they’d leave me. BUT, I had an ex that had BPD and I could NEVER do what she did when she devalued me. She told me to kill myself and go cry to my parents, and then she told all her friends I was physically abusive even though I never laid a hand on her! 

This was my first relationship which was a few months ago, but I don’t believe I could ever just devalue and then discard someone out of the blue like she did. and I especially don’t think I could demean someone and even go so far as try to hurt the person that I’m dumping like she did to me. 

My behavior could be easily explained with just depression, impulse control, and anger issues. I don’t think I have the unstable BPD relationship thing because even though I have mental problems, I have the mental control to not absolutely demolish my relationships when I get anxious.