I know I should feel blessed, fortunate or whatever. I get basically 10 free psychologist appointments. Australia's medical care is "amazing" but wtf is the point of 10 "free sessions" when there's no way I'm going to be able to afford upwards of $120 a week for an hour session. I'm a single parent, half the money I get instantly goes to rent. The rest goes to bills, smokes and groceries. 

Sure, I could give up smoking and I'd have a bit of extra cash and could maybe swing a session once, *maybe* twice a fortnight if I'm lucky but how the hell can I give up something that's currently helping me cope? No, quitting is not an option for me yet. I hate that I smoke but I cannot even imagine how much worse I'd become with nicotine withdrawals. I'm already so much more temperamental since my husband left me. 

Fuck it. 