I was diagnosed with BPD ~1yr ago but until now the side effects haven't really been affecting my everyday life. I've had the same really close best friend for 2 yrs and I can probably count the number of days I have gone without seeing him on 2 hands. Recently he has found another group of friends through work and whenever he decides to do something without me or he comes home super late (he's also my roommate) I feel upset and rejected and I get worried that he's going to decide that he doesn't need me anymore. Many people have told me that the relationship I have with him is very nearly abusive, as he continues to let me down and I forgive him each time for my own sake.

I never really understood what BPD was because I left therapy just as I was being introduced to DBT and I stopped taking my medications abruptly right when I thought I was feeling better. Recently the symptoms have been getting much, much worse and I started doing research on BPD and how my actions could be as a result of it and I started looking at this sub to gain more insight. As I researched, I found it is common for people with BPD to idolize one particular person and I immediately recognized this is what I am doing with this close friend. I feel that the recognition is already helping myself take a step back from the relationship but I'm not sure how I can do it without feeling entirely broken.

Has anyone been in this situation or does anyone have experience learning to cope without the person in this role? How did you find the self-discipline to take action toward yourself? 