I meet up with my partner every tuesday, thursday, and on weekends. She is/has bipolar 2 and has been having a rough time at work recently. She has more or less ghosted me most of the day and apologized saying she has been crying on and off all day at work. Because of this she says she's not feeling up to meeting.   


Immediately I feel completely abandoned and unwanted. I'm sad, slightly angry. Thinking only of myself. Feeling only my own feelings. I just want to be with her, but I can't because she's feeling bad.  


Then, being introspective of course, I instantly feel doubt, self-hatred, and shame for being so selfish.   


I keep everything inside and just tell her(honestly) 'im here for you' 'if you need to talk i'm here' etc etc. Not revealing how bad I'm feeling because I know it will just make her feel guilty and feel worse herself. Which loops back to me feeling like crap.  


So I come here to attempt to release my frustrations because no one else is fucking answering me.