tldr: sister in laws both dealing with mental illness to the point of destroying the family, one is diagnosed bpd and the other has not been diagnosed with anything. 

I want to make this story as objective as possible, from like a birds eye view so I can tell what the situation looks like from a completely neutral party. I won’t say which person I am, just person A, person B and person C. 

this is a long story but basically person B is engaged to person A’s older brother. Person A has always been very nice to person B, complimenting them and saying how much their brother is better off with person B than any other girl before. Person B likes person A and wants person A to like them and feel accepted. Person B has diagnosed BPD, and was worried about disclosing it with her in-laws family.

Person B made some videos regarding BPD and posted a link and person A saw and liked them and showed some of the family, including person C (Relevant to the story). Person C is person As sister and person Bs partners sister as well, although it was never confirmed or disproven as the father of all states that person C is not their daughter. Early in 2020, person C found out that they are NOT in fact related at all. Person A always believed them to be family, whereas their brother (Bs partner) always believed their father and that C was never their sister. C has always been looking for acceptance from their brother (Bs partner) and B tried to form a relationship, one where they would see each other multiple times a month.

Now here’s where the story gets sticky, at the end of 2019 B found out she was pregnant and expecting a baby (A’s brother) And at the time, C was still a sister and the DNA test had not been done. B had told everyone, everyone seemed happy, A and C both volunteered to help B out with the shower because they had planned multiple ones before.

in 2020, a couple of months before Bs baby is expected to arrive, A works part time as a cleaner and has offered to help B and her partner clean their very messy apartment before the baby arrived, and they said that they would pay her $50 because it was a lot of work and it would take most of the day to do. They planned the day weeks in advance to ensure the full day could be used and for B to be out of the apartment so they could use proper cleaning chemicals without fear of breathing them in and harming the baby. A couldn’t make it until later than planned, also had a dinner to attend after a few hours although had said previously that they were available for the full day. She took the $50 and promised to return the next day to finish the job. However, her friend was feeling very depressed so she exaggerated a bit by telling B and her partner that she “couldn’t come because her friend is in the hospital for trying to **** herself”. This was very surprising, but left it for a few days because person B and their partner weren’t sure about the validity of the story.

Person A didn’t get back to person B for a few days, and in the group baby shower text B had passive aggressively pointed out that they were exhausted and stressed about needing to find a new cleaner for their place. Person A sees this in the group chat and goes on Twitter, without knowing that person B can see their tweets. Person A tweets “you think you’re crazy but bitch I will throw you down the stairs and walk away, don’t fuck with me.” then sent another twee two minutes later that read “you want to become parents but can’t even clean your own apartment? fucking losers” immediately after person B saw that they went to the group chat to say that if anyone didn’t want to be apart of the baby shower that they could leave the chat. Person A messages person B privately and asks if there is a problem going on between them and person B says “yes, let me gather my thoughts so that I don’t say anything I don’t mean”. Person A said “no that’s fine, I won’t bother you. Tell my brother I love him”. Person B (with BPD) explodes in anger and says that person A is crazy for threatening to push them down the stairs while they were pregnant, referring to the tweets that had been sent by A because clearly the latter one had been about B so it was safe to assume the previous one was about them too, and felt threatened. Person A claims that they were only talking about them in the “losers that can’t clean their own apartment” tweet and not the one from two minutes earlier about threatening to push someone down the stairs. Person A apologized that person B got offended and person B proceeded to tell them that they were not welcome around their baby or family.

Person A told their mother (person B’s mother in law) and the mother had called person B a bully, and person A called her brother crying and very upset and hurt over person Bs actions. A’s mother wants to take her and her brother (Bs partner) out for lunch to talk (but not B). They came to the conclusion that person B would not budge unless person A apologized for the tweets, so they sent them a text and person B apologized for their actions as well. Person A goes to the baby shower and offers to take B and their partner and baby to a few doctors appointments and they are trying to mend their relationship. Person C then finds out in mid 2020 that they are not in fact related, and person A tells person B and most of the family the news before person C does, and asks everyone to act surprised when person C tells them the news.

Person C feels even more like B and her partner will abandon her again and withdraws from them and doesn’t ask much about the baby or plans to connect, but keeps in touch with A. A gets a “cricut” machine for her birthday because her aunt has one and makes money on the side, and A planned to start a Baby clothing business with C and the family backing her financially. 

Person B wants to support person A once the business is up and running, but did not have spare money to buy $20 onesies at the time, which frustrated person A. B tried to support them in other ways by sharing, encouraging and sending friends to the site for traffic and offered many ideas that B felt like weren’t on onesies enough, ideas she wanted to buy for her daughter. She mentioned horror and astrology to A a few times and A offered to pay for Bs ideas but B said that since they are family, maybe B could help them out since B has experience with fashion and art. A declined and said she wanted to do it on her own.

B became curious about the machine, and says that they wanted to make goth baby clothes because it was hard to find for her daughter. (B had this idea before A did but didn’t know how to go about it, and B has a baby). Person Bs birthday was coming up, and for her birthday A and her partners aunt (seperate from cricut aunt) thought it would be nice to buy her her own cricut for her birthday, because A and B had very different styles and ideas and the market was vast for self made small items. A felt like B shouldn’t have gotten her own cricut, rather just asked A to make stuff for her to purchase. A made clothes about Starbucks and other more mainstream interests while B has always been into gothic, dark, horror and B and her partner have always stood out as being the “black sheep”. Person A decides to make horror onesies, although she did not know who Jason or Freddys last names were and hasn’t seen the movies. Person B becomes increasingly frustrated with person A and has noticed that they are “subtweeting” things that could relate to them more often, including about how “family screws your over”. Person B decided to make her daughter a Michael Myers onesie for Halloween.

Person C had also become frustrated with B for “stealing As ideas” and would start to ignore B while spending time with A and B felt very secluded. B asked C repeatedly what was going on and eventually said that C was acting toxic for not talking about what was bothering them. C was upset that B called her toxic, and commented on a photo that B posted of her daughter wearing the onesie she made. C said that B manipulated a poor old woman to buy her a machine so she could steal As ideas because B has never been able to do anything for herself in her whole life, B is nothing but a manipulator and is terrible for trying to steal from family, and that B should go back to school instead of trying to steal others success. C also had her friends comment on Bs picture of her daughter saying “wow A is so good at this! Oh it’s not As? Wow it looks just like it, go *As company*

Person B immediately deleted the comment and took to direct message to call C awful swear words, that they are not family and never will be, that person C should not be talking because they didn’t even graduate high school themselves and they can’t take anything someone who’s had their children taken away seriously. Person B also told C that A spilled the beans about their DNA test. Person C responds back and forth and then calls the aunt that purchased the cricut to show what person B said. Person A blocked B and called Bs partner crying saying that they were scared of B, and told the entire family of all the nasty things that B said. A was also tweeting “I’m not scared of you bitch”. B called A a narcissist and A and C disclosed to the entire family what happened, on Bs birthday. Bs mother got involved and C said that B was stealing from her family because she put a lot of money into As business and B was going to steal it all.  the family mostly shunned B and still barely communicates with B or her daughter. B tried to reach out to C to apologize for the outburst but C ignored all phone calls and texts. A and B still frequently sub-post about each other. A tells the family that she is still too scared of B, and now there are no family get togethers, Bs daughter hardly sees her family and her only “aunts” are now gone. Who is wrong in this situation?