To start, I am soon to be 23 and was diagnosed with BPD when I was 19. I have 3 sisters one older and two younger. I currently live at home with my parents and two younger sisters.
For the most part, I get along well with my sisters and have most of my life. We fight and argue like all siblings but my problem comes from the youngest.
She turned 18 at the start of the year and it seems like anytime we have a minor argument it gets so bad that I fly into a full-on rage.
For example today we had a misunderstanding. I thought she had used my card without my permission while she was out running errands (in the car that I pay for and she decided (again, without asking) that she would drive around town for a bit).
I only said something to my parents because I was frustrated and they were there, but ultimately because what I thought she spent was only $6 I decided I wasn't going to say anything to her about it.
Regardless, I left for my dr. appointment and my parents decided to say something to me after she got back while I was gone to my appointment. She then proceeds to text me and tell me off for being a "dumbass" because she didn't spend any of my money. (she didn't have my card like I thought she did)
I told her that while I thought she had my card, I realized she didn't and that I didn't actually care that much because if I had, I would have said something to HER. Though after that, because of the way she responded I told her I do have a problem with her NOW.

We continued to fight and argue over text of her telling me I'm such a bitch and a dumbass and I need to think before I say shit. I then proceed to ask how I'm such a bitch when the only person I've been a bitch to is her (because you get what you give).
She says "dad said you've been so grumpy and you can't just do something without complaining about it. Try shutting up and just doing what you're told"
I explain to her WHY I have been so grumpy, though she already knows why because I've told her. (Which is that for the past month or two I've had such trouble falling asleep because I've developed a paranoia that I'm going to die if I fall asleep. This causes me to not be able to fall asleep until the early hours of the morning, and as a result when people wake me up later in the morning (8am-12pm) I'm very grumpy and irritable) On TOP of these issues I've been without my ADHD medication that helps my memory, and as a result of that have not remembered to refill said medication OR take my other medication that helps me to control my anger.

She then continues to say that it's all my fault because I "Should have gone to the doctor sooner for sleep problems" and said something about how I "think highly" of myself and that I'm "above" other people. Which if you're like me (someone with EXTREMELY low self-esteem since childhood) this makes you sooo unbelievably angry on top of the anger you already had.
Of course, she knows me better than almost anyone else and I tell her that she should know that I "think so low of myself that there aren't enough words to describe how much I hate myself".

She decides at this point in the argument that she's done and just stops responding.
I say all this to kind of let you know the current situation, but the point of this post is that HOW do I deal with a sibling who knows all of the exact words to say to send me into a rage.
She has done this type of thing on MANY occasions and she KNOWS that I'm borderline and that these types of interactions only feed the flame of my anger.
I don't know how to deal with her and the intense anger. I get so angry I beat myself because I don't know what else to do to make the anger stop and immediately after the anger has subsided I just breakdown into tears because the emotions are all too much to handle.
I just don't know what to do about her or about my anger and I'm afraid one day that the violence I have towards myself will one day be directed at her because even now when I get that angry I want nothing more than to hurt her like she hurt me.

(as a side note about the medication, my problem was that I couldn't remember to refill my ADHD medication but that was taken care of today when I went to see the Dr. about my sleep issues)

TL;DR
My sister argues with me and knows exactly how to puch my buttons to send me into a rage. I don't know how to deal with her OR with the resulting anger.