I keep trying to become better but I just end up becoming a problem to other people. I'm a burden every time I open up. I'm a burden for having wants and needs. I'm a burden for existing. I asked a friend before, someone I open up to, if it is still fun to be with me. They said they won't sugarcoat it anymore and said no. They won't sugarcoat it anymore meaning the good things they told me were just lies. They were just putting up with me, they never meant anything good they said they just said it to make me feel better even though it's not true.

I'm too exhausting and too overwhelming. I feel uneasy every time i open up since i'm a burden. I even worry when i flood people or send people a wall of text. I'm just a burden, I never make any of them feel better. I just give them problems when I talk about my thoughts and feelings. I'm literally a burden and they would be really happy if i die. I guess that's the only way for me to make them feel better. There is no point in me living. Why the fuck should a burden like me deserve to live? I deserve to get butchered to death.