It’s been a couples of months that I left, may be back next year to finish studying. I casually dated my then best friend, it ended badly and I felt so hurt to the point of having a lot a suicidal thoughts and idealizing self-harm, which is unusual for me. Coped by badly abusing alcohol, sleep and anti anxiety pills.   

I know I can be overwhelming, and I did some desperate thing too, but the way I was left by someone who I was a very dedicated friend, talked daily, and meant a lot to me made me feel so abandoned. It was like I didn’t deserved any recognition, respect or compassion. It didn’t helped when after so called friends saw how much I was struggling, and then said I could talk to them, just started to avoid me after I tried to do so. I felt like less than human.   

Honestly, right now I don’t want to ever step on that university again or see those people. I wanted to disappear and I kinda did that, I bet they didn’t even cared that I was gone, even felt relieved.   

Sometimes I can be pretty hard to deal with, but I didn’t deserved to be treated or feel that way.