**30 Days of Healthy - Day 19**

**DBT Education:**

1. I watched this video for grounding/mindfulness skill development.  I plan to use the 54321 technique next time I need grounding. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rzXjSQ5ivLE

**PLEASE:**

**PL:**  I know I need to make appointments this week and still need to make that dentist one.

**E:** I didn’t eat too much but I need groceries! 

Healthy Eating Goals:

1. Multivitamin - Yes, first thing. It always feels like an accomplishment since it’s my first checkbox of the day. 

2. Eat &lt;2000 calories - Yes, 1200c.

3. Eat protein - Chicken, Hamburger 

4. Reduce sugar - No, I added a few Tbsp to coffee through the morning.

5. Eat Vegetables/Fruit - None except lettuce on a burger. 

**A:** 12 days without alcohol or cigarettes. Again, I feel so much healthier. My brain isn’t as foggy. My cough is gone. I don’t feel like I have a constant cold. I don’t feel ashamed. I feel so good about this!

**S:** I went to bed around 10, woke up at Midnight feeling terrified something violent was going to happen. I messed around online for a bit then fell back asleep from 1 til 630 at which time I woke up from another nightmare. This one was different - the narrative was about a social activity I have planned for next week but the feelings were about being left behind and abandoned in a dangerous situation. 

So...I guess I got 7 1/2 hours sleep. I feel rested. I didn’t have nightmares back when I didn’t sleep - I was too exhausted to have all my sleep phases I guess. I need to think or talk about this.

**E:** I skipped this again 

**ABC:**

**A:** I would like to accumulate positive experiences in specific areas daily. I’m adding in another component of positive experience and that is community service. 

  1. Habitat - I washed the dishes. 

  2. Social - Yes, I reached out and texted some friends including one I was starting to cut off over something trivial. 

  3. Dread - I don’t think I addressed this.

4. Service - I sent an email today to a local organization to volunteer. I had a decent idea for the volunteer work. I’m really scared they’ll reject me but I hit send and now I’ll wait for a reply. If it’s accepted the volunteer work will also align with my B in ABC for career since it well give me some extra practice in technical skill development.

**B:** To align B with my SMART goals these are the areas I want to build mastery in every day:

1. Piano - None

2. Career - None

3. Physical Fitness - None

**C:** I may have a distressful encounter tomorrow. I’ve been practicing grounding/mindfulness techniques to cope if necessary.

**Summary:**

I had another day of not meeting my goals and not getting enough sleep. The dread is coming back. I’ve been at this almost 3 weeks and I think this is what’s been going on: 

**Week 1** - Fumbling around trying to change. Not able to quit drinking or smoking. Sick, tired, depressed. Looking for a lifeline.

**Week 2** - Got organized, cleaned house, and quit drinking, made my goals every day. Started to feel happy and healthy. 

**Week 3** - Now that my body is out of crisis mode, my mind is free to focus on thoughts and feelings no longer suppressed. Feel worse emotionally in some ways as reality sinks in. 