Two years ago I was diagnosed with depression and after some month of treatment I got out of it.  However, the sense of apathy and misanthropy never went away and I've always thought it was a good thing as it opened my eyes to the world we live in. 
Since then I have no interest in basically anything and I no longer trust anyone (except for a few people I know from a lifetime).  I constantly have suicidal thoughts as I'd simply like to disappear from this world that I hate and also because I have nothing to offer, but I've never told anyone in these two years because I don't want them to think I need brain washing about why I should continue to live and also because I am too young to think about such things. 
I see death as a simple liberation from this world I would like to leave but I think that if I'd tell someone they would not understand me