Why am i still alive. I don't get it. All i do is distract myself from this reality. So why even be here if all i do is escape this world. Whenever i need to go outside i get anxious of everything and everyone. Why do humans scare me that much. Maybe because i never belonged here. The only reason i'm here is because of protection. But why am i here if my friends are waiting for me. I can't go to work cuz i'm too stressed out and my ocd hits me too hard. I'm just waiting till i'll be able to go into mental hospital. Just waiting for a call. But what can they do to help me when i'm such a fuck up