I dont know if anyone will see this but i hope to god someone does. 
I cant lie anymore. I have been trying SO hard to get my shit together for the last one month. Changing my sleeping hours, picking up plenty of habits, trying to use my phone less, socialize more. Trying to love myself and spending more time alone. 
It hasnt been easy. a lot of it has been exerting myself in areas I'm not adept at. 
I've had a crush on this girl and she said something sort of very rude to me today. I was having a great day at school and it all started going downhill from there.
I feel worthless. I will probably not ace my exams like i hoped i would. Everything feels messed up. 
i wish someone would just hug me. god. 
i thought i wouldnt text anyone for a week just to get my head in the right place. 
a few people texted me. i told one of my friends just. little bit about whats bothering me. but i didnt wanna talk to her too. this is so messed up. i WANT to talk my heart out to someone, get a hug and cry on someone's shoulder but i literally have no one haha. 
i dont think i can keep doing this anymore.