I've always had depression. I have a lot of sad and scary changes happen in the past month. I lost a job I absolutely adored. The love of my life cheated on me and gave me stds. I'm all alone in this area, no friends or family within 80 miles. All I do is cry. Will it ever stop? Realistically I know it will get better but I feel like I am drowning in despair. Suicidal thoughts, wanting to binge and purge or cut again. Pure hopelessness. I hate this.