I feel extra dumb for nearing my mid-20s yet still getting upset over things like this, but:

Okay, BPD makes rejection extremely hard to deal with. That being said, does anyone else find that getting sexually rejected as a woman stings even more? I feel like everybody around me has the attitude of "Men would fuck anyone and anything!" (not literally ofc, but that if they're down for hookups, the bar generally isn't super high) and that if you're an at least decent-looking woman, you can basically get sex on demand. When somebody isn't into me, I feel like there's something seriously wrong with me -- like, what about me is so gross and unlikable that I'm THAT bad? I know it's not necessarily a true way of looking at things, but I feel like these things are said so often that when I'm turned down by a guy, it makes me feel even more disgusting and worthless.

I don't mind making the first move, so I did so last night by straight up telling my male friend that I'd kiss him while we were both pretty drunk at a show (we're casual friends who just reconnected lately after a year+ of not talking and he's called me cute before, so it's not insanely weird). He laughed it off but curved me completely, and it shattered my self esteem A LOT. I  know it was such a petty moment that my BPD amplified, but all I could think about is how nobody would ever want me, I don't even meet such a supposedly low bar, no other girl gets rejected as much as me, etc.  and it caused me to have an entire breakdown upon getting home. :(