Tomorrow is my fp's birthday. She has been my fp and the person who I love sososo strongly and deeply for over 2 years. I haven't talked to her in 7 months months and we didn't really end on the best terms either. 

She never liked me as much as I did, I was just her younger sister type of friend, but still she was the best.

She made me things I never felt, I truly wish her the best. I would give up everything I have in my life, I would give up my whole life if it would make her happy. She is the most amazing and incredible and perfect person ever. I'm well aware that I probably idealize and idolize her and I just created this person in my head who is absolutely perfect with no flaws but I still can't really help it.

We haven't talked in sooo many months but I still think about her obsessively every fucking day. I wish her no harm, I genuinely feel nothing but admiration and love towards her.

She also has bpd and was kind of the first and the only person who was there for me. She was always there for me, all the time, we would isolate ourselves (haha lol bpd) and wouldn't talk for weeks or months but we would still kind of connect after all and be there for each other.

There's no way to describe her kindness, her humor, her intelligence... There's no way to describe her ... I feel like a warm ray of sunshine is covering me under a fresh rainbow on a spring day, while birds are chirping and a scrumptious flowery scent is wandering through the chilly breeze... Everything is so peaceful, and so well, there are no worries no anxiety no fear nothing I can't overcome. This is how thinking about her makes me feel.