Hi (sorry in advance for grammatic errors, english is not my first language),
I have been experiencing hallucinations and paranoia since i was a child. I have seen multiple doctors, but i couldn't force myself to talk about those symptoms, after one of them acted like it's not a big deal, and wrote it of as me having bad dreams. But they are getting worse now, and I'm really scared it could be schizophrenia. I experience visual hallucinations when I'm in a very big stress or traumatic memory pops up in my head. The worst episodes were after i found out my ex was cheating on me, and when i visited my family home and spend a night there, alone.
Second episode looked like this: I was paranoid somebody is inside, i locked myself up in the living room, put heavy furniture in front of the door, so nobody could enter. I was scared to call my friends, because i though this thing could hear me and come for me. I was scared about it being inside cabnets or inside walls. I turned all lights off and hide under a blanket in the corner of the room. When i peeked my head outside of the blanket after 20 minutes i saw shadow person sitting on chair and looking at me. Then I cried myself to sleep.
On a daily basis i experience rearly visual hallucinations, but i do hear noises and have almost constant paranoia.
I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and bulimia, my previous doctor was suspecting that i could have bipolar disorder.
Currently I'm not seeing any doctor, but I'm thinking about it. Biggest problem is that professional help is very expensive if you don't want to wait for a year (or sometimes more). And if you don't feel comfortable with the doctor, you have to wait again. I won't even say anything about going to therapy, because that's even harder to get with insurance. So I have decided that i should go to private doctor.
The question is: how do i tell a doctor about it? I'm really scared this could be schizophrenia, or that once again I will be called "attention seeking" and horros i have experienced are just bad dreams.