We were long distance, we broke up at the beginning of this year because of the distance and I started seeing a new therapist and got my BPD diagnosis very soon after, which helped immensely. I began to start telling myself and believing that my suspicions of this guy, that I'd always see pictures of being very close with her, were just a side effect of this condition, that even though we broke up she wasn't lying when she said that she had no interest in this guy, and was always loyal to me through our relationship. I don't even know how long she was single for between us breaking up and her dating him, or if there was even a break in between.

All the growth I've gone through since then just seems to be falling apart before my eyes. Every time I try to ignore a gut feeling, the feeling always ends up being right. Which is a really frustrating thing to experience especially with this disorder, when you keep trying to hold yourself in check with paranoid fears. 

I would really love some insight, some advice, just something, from anyone.