i just cant stand this anymore. I feel bad all the time, i feel like im ruining ppls lives with my sadness, and everything with life is just beginning to become too much. Only thing thats been making me somewhat happy lately is this girl that i rlly like but now i barely talk to her because i get so shy and nervous to even say anything. Its like theres something blocking me from communicating and shes just gonna end up forgetting abt me or thinking im not interested because im too scared to even have a conversation. I know its stupid but it just feels really bad for me liking somebody but being so limited and have such bad social skills to where i cant even talk much. We talked a good bit last week but now lately ive just been so depressed to where i cant do anything. Thats just one of the few things thats making me really sad and other personal stuff that i dont really want to discuss. I think im just done at this point, i made alright memories, made my first paycheck, drove for the first time, got to eat at a steakhouse for the first time, got to get a good shirt i like that doesnt trigger my sensory issues. I think its time i just check out, my ride is over. Im not scared anymore because its not like anything will change. I’m sorry. Goodnight