TW: mention of SH and abuse 
(TLDR at the end)



Hey all, first time posting here. I was recently diagnosed with BPD and after telling one of the people who would be considered a FP, they were really understanding and helpful. They’ll be caller Person A for this, However I had someone else ,who will be person B in this, who was also in the whole favourite person field,

I’ve talked to Person B longer than Person A and they are friends with each other for longer than I’ve known either. However the first time I reached out to Person B about it they decided to ditch me mid conversation literally right after they read “I’m not great with abandonment”. They then proceeded to leave the rest of the messages on seen. A week later I get send them a message on another platform. They send one message, I get back and nothing. I speak to my fp about it and they tell me to tell them that I’m not really comfortable with them leaving mid conversation with no warning or message indicating they are going. 

At this point all the things I dislike about them are starting to rise into a hatred. For reference I was practically brought up on tumblr because my parents weren’t always the best. One thing about them that really just makes me hate them is that they glorify a abusive relationship in a show and say that the abuser in said relationship is a good person. When they spoke to me about this they knew my history with SH and abuse. Some of the other things were incredibly minor, like how their the modern day fandom stereotype, you know those people who obsess over Disney and all that.

So I try to reach out to them for a 3rd time after they ghost again. In all fairness I definitely could have worded some parts better. But at the same time they were really tone deaf. They called me a shitty person for having no control over my emotions and didn’t even try to understand. 

Then they sent the conversation to my FP with no notice for me. So they pointed out how we both had a few good point and that she felt similar in regards to how down I am. Currently waiting for a response but the way she worded it was exactly what I wanted from our friendship. It not just being a place of sorrow.

Anyway, over the few days since I’ve been on the divide on if I should try and get back with them or if I should just let her go. Although if I do I don’t think i’ll ever see her in a positive light. 

Another thing I’m stuck on is that it will cause problems in our friend group. 

So as much as I want to keep the friendship  I don’t know if I should.


TLDR: a friend who I’ve idealised for a while has shown a lot less care and some hatred to me and I don’t know if I should cut ties with them.


Thanks in advance everyone.