I’m 18 and this is the only way I’ve ever felt. I’m always bored, nothing piques my interest, I have hobbies, but none that last, I just like to spend money on things. I work but it doesn’t fulfill anything for me. I can’t seem to stop sleeping. I don’t feel emotions towards the people I’m supposed to care about. And I can’t stop feeling emotions for the people I’m not supposed to care about. 

I laugh sometimes, but it doesn’t help anymore. 

I don’t even cry anymore.

I want to just disappear, but I can’t hurt my family.

I don’t think I’d cry if my parents died. But I don’t want them to have to live with a dead son.

I don’t know how much longer I can go. 

I’m just so tired of this.