I no longer have love or laughter in my life. I no longer smile. I finally feel free, no I’m not happy but I don’t anyone to upset me. I am a 18 Yr old and am now celibate forcing my self to become asexual aromantic. 

How do you fully remove all happiness from your life? For I feel it causes the most harm for people BPD. 

Bpd will kill me so much faster than drugs