I hardly want to do anything , i struggle to make myself learn and go to college to get a degree i  dreamed of and i pass for now but i feel like its mainly luck , i don't feel the slightest need to work on myself , i dont work out (for now i'm still in decent physical condition, but it wont last forever ) , im not interested in finding a partner. Honeslty i dont really want to watch anything or even do nothing . I feel like I would really like it if i just disappeared. ( no , i'm definetely not considering suicide rn). I also recently cut myself with a no 23 scalpel blade, not deep at all though, kept everything sterile and all, dont really know why i did it. What can that mean is it depression or something else