I swear I just want to quit. I'm so so tired of working my sanity off and yet not getting even the basic things in life. I don't even care about being rewarded as long as I'm not punished. I stayed up 40 hours working non stop on an assignment for a course that I have to do, not want to do, as it's apparently a prerequisite and still get a terrible grade. This is while studying full time, working part time and volunteering at tow different places because universities want you to have discipline related experience without having the. necessary qualifications for said experience. And this is in a country where mental health professionals are desperately needed. It's like the world is acting against me. I haven't even seen my family in the last three years. I couldn't even meet my grandmother before she died almost a year ago. It's absolutely abhorrent because the reason I'm working so hard is so that I can provide my family with an excellent life. But what's the point if they won't be there to enjoy it. They haven't forced me to do this but that is a goal I have assigned myself. All this while I see my colleagues thriving and enjoying life without working even an ounce for it. It's ironic that a psychology student is posting on a depression subreddit but I am frustrated, exhausted and just outright done with existence itself. I don't know if religion is true or science or maybe both. But I don't want a part of it, of anything. I don't want to be.