As I’ve seen many others say here and elsewhere, I often wonder if it would be best for me to be single, since romantic relationships seem to activate my symptoms.

I’ve been with my current bf for two years, and although I love him immensely, there have been ongoing issues since our first month together involving honesty (on his part) and trust (on my part). 

Additionally, he has never been able to express any interest in commitment beyond just dating; I work in a profession where I have to move around a lot and he has been really uncommunicative about whether he would ever move to be with me. We are currently long-distance with me making efforts to plan to live together in the long term, and with him avoiding the topic whenever I try to bring it up. 

I tend to be really isolated as a means of managing my symptoms; I’ve been more or less estranged from my family for a few years because it’s just unhealthy for me. I recently moved to a new place and have struggled to make the effort to make friends, so being able to talk to my bf on the phone every day helps me feel less lonely.

While it’s been awesome to have an ongoing connection in my life with someone I really care about, I can’t help but wonder if I would be healthier if I were just single and focused on forming healthy, sustainable friendships. When I experience conflict with him it throws me into a really dark place and makes me act in really unhealthy, impulsive ways; I don’t know if I can afford to do this anymore.