Does anyone else have an intense fear of schizophrenia? I’ve always been a major hypochondriac. My mind can mimic the symptoms of whatever illness I fear. For example when I was 16 is swore I would have a heart attack, my body would have chest pains and my heart rate would increase. Turned out it was just anxiety. 

A couple years ago I had a TERRIBLE trip on some edibles (I ate too many) and I thought I had gone crazy since that’s always been my biggest fear I started obsessing over it. One night I was watching criminal minds and one of the characters mom is a paranoid schizophrenic so I googled it and bam fell down the rabbit hole of reading symptoms and mimicking them. The scariest one is when I read that voices comment on what the person is doing, my mind instantly started commenting on what I do. For example I’ll finish eating and tell my mom “that was really good thanks” and my brain will instantly pop up with a thought that says “no it wasn’t” I also read that people think they’re being poisoned so if a stranger hands me food I’ll think “what if it’s poisoned” these thoughts scare me so much, especially the commenting on what I do. 

The only glimpse of hope I have is that all this started after I read about it. It’s comforting for a second but then I’m back to panicking over the fact that maybe I am developing schizophrenia. By the way I’m 24 I’ve been dealing with this since I was 20, there’s no history of schizophrenia in my family only major depression and panic disorder. 

Thanks for reading this, any input is definitely appreciated!