I become scared and anxious. My manager for the community service thing I have to do - who is the most anxious wreck who ever existed next to me and I relate to her on that - got irritated at me for doing something wrong. She's done that a lot. Before I'd get mad at her and hate her but have to hold it inside, but I started to think positively of her. And now i got so unnrved my stomach started to cramp. I don't even want to think about it. I fucking hate this.

I used to be like this all time. I never got angry. I just wanted the whole world to like me. But i guess if I want someone to like me, I apparently revert back to this. It's not like I can tell her that I feel disrespected by her rudeness...

My stomach still fucking hurts. I'm starting to hate her again.