You are getting it, that is the problem. Oh, I am not saying it is not helpful for some. Some people who are abuse victims are also helped by the idea of forgiveness but we would never have the gall to tell people it was therapeutically the only way forward. And that is the core of it. It is a big part of DBT. DBT of course is based on the idea that patients are fundamentally broken and largely incapable of dealing with trauma. Your question "Is someone who is molested as a child just supposed to say 'I'm just going to accept it and move on'?". Yes. That is precisely and explicitly what it says. Not just a molestation or single event trauma. If you were raped on a daily basis from infancy through adolescence then you should "radically accept" it.

Check out the parts of Linehan's book where she explains how unconditional positive regard is a myth, nonexistent. The part where she explains about paradoxical intervention. That is where you manipulate and jerk your client around using head games and reverse psychology. Then there is radical genuineness. This is where the therapist has license to just say anything they feel like, this is therapeutic apparently, though Linehan does not explain how. This is all buttressed by dialectics combined with whatever pop culture version of Zen Buddhism the therapist has read.

Dialectics is a weird philosophical notion created out of whole cloth by Linehan. She rattles on about its ancient roots, but that is a pretty old con. The notion that we should both accept, and not accept, at the same time. Nothing at all is black and white, nothing. It is all pathological splitting. Oh, and though she mentins that DBT is supposedly a three staged program. But there is no method whatsoever outlined for how to perform stage two, working through trauma, or three, a life worth living.

They say this is the goal, but there is not even an outline for therapists. Oh, I forgot Aversives. This is where the therapist is openly punitive, hostile or withholding, explicitly, in order to punish and teach you. Linehan gives three sentences towards ant ethical criticism of this, by saying it works. It also uses fun techniques like giving multiple sessions a week, plus groups, which are mandatory. There is also telephone contact. But this is rigidly enforced, and is based solely on you being compliant.

If you do something wrong, go into crisis, and do not wait to talk to the therapist before doing anything at all, you are non compliant. Of course in sessions a good chunk of time is taken up with homework and diary cards. And of course in group you are not allowed to discuss trauma. All of this is called therapy interfering behavior. If you do it, you are punished. Time bans on telephone contact, therapist withholding, and an involuntary focus in discussion during sessions on why your behavior in therapy is bad.

It is a shell game, a con, designed to keep trauma victims quiet, docile and compliant. We have to not burden the health system, and not emotionally burden people, including therapists. Self harm is distressing for others, so we must stop. Linehan explains succinctly that acknowledging childhood trauma is important. But not because it really is. It is sad, but life is hard, buck up. No, it is a good way of placating clients first, to accept that as the reason. But therapists are not to actually talk at any length about the trauma. Maybe in the purely hypothetical land of stage two, but otherwise the client is too fragile, or is using it as an excuse.

But at the core, acknowledging the trauma is the only way, explicitly according to linehan, of not resenting, disliking. being contemptuous towards, or hating the client. There are many good trauma therapies out there. Relational, person centered, psychodynamic if you can handle it, gestalt, EMDR. Not to say that nobody got anything out of DBT. They did, clearly, just ask. Of course, a great many trauma victims got a great deal of help through church. Would we call that therapy?. I mean it, I am happy to tell anubody the good news of Jesus Christ. I absolutely mean no offense to those who were helped by DBT. Healing comes in many forms, and I can be wrong. I wish others only the best, and if it helps them, wonderful. Truly. But for me, and I do not believe I am alone in this, DBT is an infantilizing, gaslighting, and quite frankly disrespectful to the lived experience of grown men and woman. I wish everybody the best.