its been a month and two weeks since we had our fight. It was a stupid fight, I didn't want to play a game with him and told him that I was going to play with my best friend after one match. He knew I didn't enjoy the game as much as he does but he got mad and instantly hanged up on me because I've done this to him before. After 3 weeks passed, I decided to just message him saying how I hope he is okay, I didn't apologize yet because I wanted him to reply to me before I do. No reply. 

With this new free time, I've been putting myself back into streaming again just to distract myself. People always tell me that I have the personality for it as I'm well known in the gaming and art community but have never been able to stream properly due to my mental health. I've also recently had a string of viral posts (50k+ likes) on social media as I kept making content to get 'likes' and comments just to fill this empty hole. Each day I'm getting closer and closer to partnership but still I've never felt more alone and empty. I wish I could share these achievements with him. I told myself that if he doesn't respond by the time my birthday rolls up then we are officially done. 

thank you for reading, i really needed to get this off my chest. it really is ironic to have thousands of followers but yet not be able to talk to anyone about it.