
My (33F) husband (36M) and I have been married since August. We have a great relationship and he is so sensitive, caring and generous. We are both professionally employed and working from home since March.

I am 39 weeks pregnant and will be taking a year mat leave (we’re in Canada). When the baby is born, my husband will also take 5 weeks paternity leave.

My husband has worked for his company (telecommunications) as a marketing manager and has been there 14 years. He has been in his current role for 3. We recently bought a house that we moved into two months ago in order to have more space for baby. We have some savings and while we are not rich, we are comfortable and have no debt other than mortgage.

Even before COVID he has had anxiety and depression which he manages with medication and therapy. He is very proactive about his mental health and we communicate openly about it. I have not seen him have a full blow anxiety attack more than once or twice but it is so awful to watch and try to help when it happens. I want him to be happy and healthy although I realize sometimes you just have to let someone be not ok.

The problem now is, he has anxiety almost every day about losing his job. Especially now that we have a house and baby coming. He had a not so great rating on his annual review in December, he made a dumb mistake at work last week, and his manager is hiring another person that will be assigned to his tasks also. He has a high work load and it is possible they decided they need two people, but he’s convinced they are hiring this person to replace him and will let him go.

I try to remind him that he is capable and good at his job, and has never had any sort of discipline or discussion that he is not measuring up. He’s had good reviews for 13 years and one lower review doesn’t mean he will be let go. We also have savings and he can go on unemployment if he gets laid off, in addition to a probable severance package if ever he did get let go, since he hasn’t done anything fireable.

What else can I tell him that will help him to feel better and that even if he loses his job, he will be ok? I know he would find another job eventually and we would not be in trouble even if he didn’t find one right away. I think a lot of his self worth is tied to his job and I don’t know how to support him.