i’ve never been formally diagnosed with anxiety (and normally i’m not a huge fan of self diagnosis) but i’ve had a pretty bad anxiety disorder all my life; it’s no secret.

anyway, i have a few different ways to cope with my anxiousness, but the crazy thing is is that my coping mechanisms literally GIVE me anxiety and make it worse and i’ve only just discovered this. for example, whenever i’m stressed or anxious, i excessively scratch my back (when i was younger it was my head) to the point where i bleed and i still have scars and continue to get scars from this. and of course, my scars make me so anxious because i don’t want anyone to see them and think i’m gross because of it. in fact, i’ve only recently revealed them to my boyfriend of 18 months.

another thing i do is i re-watch the same tv shows when i’m anxious; i’ve seen new girl nearly 9 times all the way through. most of the time, while it feels good in the moment, after i do this i just feel upset and like i’m wasting my time and then i spiral with anxious thoughts about anything and everything. 

does anyone else find themselves having coping mechanism that ultimately make them even more anxious? or just make them feel worse? how do i try to stop this issue? and are there any other coping mechanisms i should try? help!