Most people may look at me and think I have it all together and I’m not even close. I want to believe I’m a very happy person, trying to stay positive, hoping for better days.. but behind my “happiness” I am so sad. The tears are endless. Im not suicidal but I feel I have no reason or purpose to continue living. Im always relying on other people to make me happy. I always hang around certain people because they make me feel better. (they don’t even know that) … Jobs, relationships, anything I do, never works for me. No matter how hard I try, I feel useless, worthless and like a complete failure and disappointment to myself and everyone around me. I continue telling myself everything will be okay, I will be alright, but I’m starting to believe the pressure is coming from me constantly lying to myself. I know everything is not okay. I know I am not alright. I honestly don’t think this feeling will ever change. I can’t keep relying on people to make me happy, because once they’re gone.. I’m back living my sorry ass life on my own . I give up. Im out of ideas and hope for my future.