My mom and I have a very difficult relationship. I try to recognise it whenever I'm in the wrong, and i have been. I'm 16 (F) and since my parents divorce it has gotten really bad. It sounds stupid, but i was watching the Johnny Depp / Amber Heard trial, and what the psychologist said about bpd really resonated with my mom.  I looked further into it and the more i read about bpd the clearer it seems. I dont wanna seem oblivious to my own faults and contributions to our difficulties, but I don't see how it can just be me anymore. I can't keep going like this with her, and it breaks me to think I'll leave her house with deep resentment for her someday. I really do want us to have a good relationship and It's extremely stressful to wake up to and live with. I'm also doing my exams at the moment and it's rly hard to stay afloat when there's so space for me to recharge.

I have tried to convince her to seek help before, but she is very stubborn and gets extremely defensive.  I don't want her to feel like I'm blaming her either or that I don't love her. I tell my dad about what's going on, but he can't really do anything except feel sorry for me. After all, he knows what she's like.

I've tried seeking help for myself, but my age has made that extremely difficult and I've never gotten past a referral for a psychiatrist since my parents would have to handle insurance and never got to it. 

Any help is appreciated.