TW: death, mortality

Every few days I think too hard about how I’m going to die, or my loved ones are going to die, and I just start screaming for 5-10 seconds. Thinking about there being some sort of afterlife and having eternal consciousness is another trigger. 

It’s really embarrassing and scary and usually happens when I’m alone with my thoughts or when someone mentions something even remotely related. Someone said something about “the universe” the other day and that set one off somehow lol. I can stop it pretty easily though by doing something like going on my phone or talking about something else. Luckily it hasn’t happened in public either so that’s not an issue. I’m worried too because it scares my family and I feel terrible about that. 

I’m thinking my best bet is therapy but I’m scared to discuss this with others as it causes a lot of anxiety. It also happens with less frequency when I’m really busy so ig throwing myself into school and work could help too. Idk I think I just need some comfort and reassurance that I’m not alone with this fear and advice on how I might work through this.