I (f, 20) was diagnosed w bpd about two years ago and for as long as I can remember I’ve been miserable. I’ve attempted several times and suicidal thoughts are constant. 

I’m not in a panic situation where I’m making a rash decision in the moment. I have just consistently been miserable and no amount of medications, therapy, or self destructive coping mechanism can keep me going at this point. I feel like the same way that pushing thru these last two years has been torture, that my life will continue to be that way and I’ll wish I killed myself a long time ago. Regardless of my surroundings I’m unable to be happy. I’ve only been able to feel almost euphoric amounts of joy with a significant other, but my emotions are too unstable to maintain that and I can’t handle the amount of damage it does when they leave. I’m constantly in so much pain and if mental anguish could kill you, I’d already be dead. I can’t stop sobbing or going into episodes of rage and at this point I feel like me ending my life is almost inevitable.

If there’s any advice someone can give on how they came out of this or their opinion that’d be great