Today I had some big family thing I was dreading, but it really went okay. I was cheerful and happy to see eveyone and I think I had some meanigful conversations. But now that I'm home I am definitely not okay at all. That person I was at the family thing is still lingering inside me and I need her to leave very badly. I get very angry thinking about her and I hate her. Selfharm is my way to go here so I "can get back to me", but I'd like to know what's going here. 

Does anyone else has this feeling, knows what this is?