ok, so I’ve hurt someone I fucking LOVE through my consistent impulsive risky behaviour (that I was once was so oblivious to and almost enjoyed in some fucked up way, probably cause I’m used to chaos) and they have had *enough*. I am walking on very thin ice at the moment. They do feel very conflicted tho as they still care about me but I’ve really broke a boundary of theirs and they don’t know whether they’ll be able to forgive me. I’ve really done it this time (I feel insane just thinking about what I did).

I am for the first time realising that blaming my BPD isn’t the answer (I was diagnosed last year and it’s been hell trying to figure out what it all means) I am completely sick of passing blame and acknowledge that I need to take ownership. 

Guys, I don’t want to lose this person, I love them so much and consider them family. And I hate the fact that I hurt them so bad. They are in so much emotional pain. What should I do? Is there anything I *can* do, or shall I just give them space?