So I was thinking and it occurred to me, if I keep trying to be like a past version of myself I'm never going to improve. Two years ago I was a very different person. My more recent experiences have fundamentally changed who I am. My old coping mechanisms don't work anymore. I can't just go back to being that version of myself where I was at my peak. She doesn't exist anymore. If I'm going to get better I need to get become something entirely new. That's kind of a scary thought though. Just when I finally thought I had everything figured out I'm back to square one. I don't know where to start. I have no idea what to do. I guess realizing that is sort of a step on its own.