She was a distraction. She helped me keep going, but I still felt like shit while I was with her. It has been a month and a half btw. I don't have a distraction anymore. My issues are being thrown right in my face. I don't have many friends, I never do the things I want because of anxiety, I barely ever leave the house, I rely on drugs for happiness. That's the reason that I lost her, and thats the reason why I don't want to be here anymore. I'm 20 years old, and I feel like I should be doing fun shit like going to concerts and bars, but nah, I just sit here wanting to die instead. I guess I'm posting this because I just want to know that there's a chance of things getting better. I don't want to want to die anymore, I just want to be happy. If anyone has anything to say that could possibly give me hope, I would appreciate it so much.