I’m lying in my bed with no the intention of going out tonight. With school behind me and a minimum wage job to at the least keep me busy, my mind can’t help but wonder and ruminate and literally cry. It sounds so idiotic but I so badly want to be 14 again… I’m seeing all these posts about “indie sleaze” and “tumblr grunge core” or whatever coming back and I realize how stupid it is to attach myself to these constructs but I think about how I young and naive and somewhat outgoing I was then, all the close friendships I had going for myself then, staying up playing video games and chatting online with said friends. And what’s so messed up is that if I too remember the other piece of it… I was having breakdowns then, listening to my sad little songs (Lana del Rey, Coldplay), thinking about how lonely it was. Lately, this has all been made worse by finally getting into TV shows like Skins or music that was popular or put out around the 2013-2014 time period that makes me so irritated that I can’t go back. There’s no winning.