I show signs of having childhood trauma but that always kinda confused me because I had a pretty good childhood and I wouldn’t remember any instances that could be considered traumatic. Just the other day though, I was thinking about stuff and I remembered something and I’m not sure if it quite falls under the bucket of trauma but I dunno. 

Basically from when I was born up until I was maybe 7 or 8 my mom would frequently sing me and my brother the song you are my sunshine. That in and of itself isn’t that bad so I’m definitely not blaming my mom at all but it was more the way I interpreted it. 

As long as I can remember I thought the song was about a mother singing to her child and that child was dead and she was in denial. Then there’s the line “and I hung my head and I cried” which for some awful reason I thought was the mother killing herself because her child had died. Also I thought my mom wrote the song because I was young and stupid so I thought she was telling us this as some sort of a warning maybe. 

So basically, for a very big chunk of my life, I thought my mom was regularly telling me that if anything happened to me she would kill herself. Now, I’m terrified to be mean or rude to people in any sort of way and I’m pretty sure it’s because of this but I’m not certain. Do you think that would be considered trauma, or would it even cause any effects later in life?