Hello everyone. I'm 21 and thinking about my mental capacity and health since 15 years old with rational ways of course. Because of my sleep problems I diagnosed major depression when I'm 16. But I didn't fallow the treatment. I observed my family and came the conclusion of I might have schizoid personality disorder or autism spectrum disorder. Then during the last half a month I experienced very unusual emotional anxiety attacks and mania. I can't express my emotions normally but this was beyond my normal. I feel joy and sorrow at the same time, lost 12 kilos and sleep nearly 5 hours a day yet still could be able to run in 0° weather with barely clothing. This was the bell for me and I'm waiting for my appointment to come with the doctor. Yet I feel so insecure and afraid to be really sick. I literally have no one, no best friend, no emotional relationship even with my parents. I feel like a lost soul, tries to survive but everything is so huge and I'm incapable of building anything. I just wanted to share to feel I'm not completely alone.