I (22M) have had episodes of depression since 2012 due to a family member passing. It fucked me up because of how much of an influence he was to me. It was rocky going through the teen years due to familial alcohol abuse, arguments between family every other night, etc. Powered through, and absolutely could’ve been worse, still a lot of good moments despite the really bad. I honestly believe that my mother was suffering the same way I am and didn’t get proper help. In 2019, I had an “incident” after losing my job, and then going through about 4 more which I couldn’t hold on to. This revealed the long running problems I’ve been dealing with personally. It shocked everyone around me. I was told I would be getting more support from family and friends. Nothing of the sort happened for almost every person that told me that. I have no contact with most of those people now. 2020, my mother passed from illness, built up from her years of alcohol abuse. 2021, another family member passes, no one tells me about it at all and I find out through a Facebook post. 2022, after noticing a lump on my dogs leg, it turns out he has a cancerous tumor. Being a big dog and already being an old boy, he was put down, because why make him suffer. I’m very tired, emotionally, physically, mentally and still I crawl out of bed every day to exist for my very immediate family with whom I live and I am sure they think at this point that I’m just lazy and don’t wanna work. It’s weird to think they don’t realize how bad this is for me. But none of them try to talk to me or try to do anything with me or see how I’m doing or anything. I’m doing what I can to help myself but I really feel hopeless. I’m scared. I want a hug. Thanks for reading, have a good night.