I have been in a relationship for about 3 years with my boyfriend, but because of my anxiety it has not been easy.

We spend 24 hours a day together because of COVID and it's just been a constant battle with me feeling crippled by my anxiety, to the point where I can't even get out of bed to face the day, waking up crying for no reason, thinking he's going to leave me at any minute just because I feel like I'm extremely difficult to be with and that I feel like I don't deserve to be happy and he can do so much better than me. It manifests in so many ways and the most common manifestation is having to constantly communicate with him and asking him at least 5 -10 times a day if things are okay. I know this isn't healthy, but every argument we have, every little comment he makes that I take the wrong way, I can't let it go and I have to constantly be reassured that he's not mad at me or irritated etc.

I'm scared that if I don't get a grip on my emotions and learn to deal with my own trauma, it will end my relationship and that's one of my biggest fears (also another anxiety manifestation).

Can anybody give me advice on how to manage anxiety in a relationship and any experiences other people have had with this? I'm tired of constantly worrying about when the next worst thing is going to happen and just not being in control of my emotions or thoughts and it's starting to take a massive toll on me as well as my relationship. My boyfriend is an incredible guy and he deserves the best version of me, as do I. I just don't know how to get there or where to start.