I don’t really talk to my family, and lately the family I do speak to has been helping me get by while I’ve been struggling. Before this we didn’t talk. None of my friends - who I think of as my real family -  really talk to me anymore. Nobody seems to want to have anything to do with me.

I’m a burden on my job since I’m now in short term disability. I’m a burden to my boyfriend and my family because I am struggling financially. None of my friends seem to want to hang out with me, even if I pay, or we schedule in advance, or they say they miss me… most of them hardly even speak to me and ignore my texts. 

I feel like I’m better off dead. I feel like everyone would be. When I picture my funeral, it’s hard to imagine hardly anyone even showing up. Hardly anyone would even know I was even dead until long after. 

Ugh. I hate this.