I've been in bed for 6 months... I just got petrified... I abandoned all my courses and moved back to my family... I couldn't manage being a functional adult...my boyfriend was practically my caregiver. I've lost interest in everything, I don't feel mania anymore. Just depression and fear with paranoia and hypocondria... I deleted all my social media. 

 I re gained all the weight I lost... Changed my meds two months ago and nothing changes. My self care doesn't exist anymore... I hate myself so bad...I'm always mad at everything and everyone. I feel like I'm such a burden. I dont want to get out of my house. I'm always tired, no energy. Nothing motivates me. I've got antisocial thoughts. I feel like I deserve it for all my mistakes. I feel so much shame and guilt. I'm living death. Can't see myself in the mirror. I can't tidy up my room because everything reminds my lost of interesting in the activities I used to enjoy and the career I drop out. I cry everyday, I feel suicidal all the time, when I'm with my mom and my sister I feel I'm invisible and start to think how they will be better off without me. Am I bipolar?