Just like the title said, I don’t have friend(s) at my workplace. I considered myself as an introvert, but since I work at a retail that demands me to be communicative, cheerful, and happy person, I pushed myself to talk more to people. I like it so far, even though it takes time for me to talk in english because english is my second language, I like to feel connected with people. 

Working in this particular retail store, also obligate you to have a bond with your coworker. I always try to greet everyone I meet in the store. I try to bring up any topics that can connect me with my coworker (movies, music, games, even horoscope). And yet, it feels like my coworker and I only hold the convo only for a minute. I thought maybe because my cultural background is different from them, maybe the language barrier, etc. However, I try to despised it and always try to talk to them.

This week I spent almost my time at work without anyone to talk to. Sometime, I envy other coworker who get along just fine. I got super anxious every-time I go to work, because my mind just assuming that no one really like me. I am slow and clumsy, and can’t even hold a convo or tell a joke. Everytime I see my coworker talking in a group, I always thought they’re talking about me and how bad I am in this job. I feel miserable and lonely and considering to quit the job. But I need the job not only for the money, but also to keep my mind thinking that I am doing a productive activity. 

I don’t know if this is a place for me to write about this, but I just…. I don’t know maybe I want to know if I am not the only one who has been through this. Thanks for reading it