I'm currently somewhat recovered from a debilitating mixed episode sept-dec, including SI, SH and a bunch of fun hypomanic stuff. I finally got my psychiatrist evaluation today and was told BP2 affective disorder. 

I was told because I'm currently not in a major episode, that there is no medication for the middle ground between the two ends. They suggested that to level out the "emotional dysregulation" I still have (ongoing exhausting mood swings), I should pursue DBT or just check in with them periodically. Then if things get severe again, I call and can be given an appointment within two weeks. 

I am disappointed, to be honest. I haven't been stable since mid-2020 and I am *just. so. tired*. I resisted medication for years, trying to make my own way. I've tried meditation. I've tried breathwork and cold exposure therapy. I've tried holidays. I've tried friends. Changing my routine. My job. Ive tried psychedelics, which was a massive risk that did more harm than good in the end - triggered a manic episode. I've tried psychotherapy, repeatedly. I've tried exercise. I've tried keeping busy. I've tried not being too busy. Now they say, after vicious depression, that I'm not depressed enough to medicate because, I guess, I'm not suicidal right now, and can adequately parent and work. I don't want to be on meds forever. I just wanted a bit of space from all the noise in my head.

Does their approach sound right? I'm not one for thinking there is a magic pill solution - I know there isn't. I'm just *bone tired* of fighting to keep the mask on every day. I just wanted to take some distance for a while to gather myself and get back to the good fight, you know? And another 3 months on a waiting list to get a DBT therapist I have to pay for out of pocket....I don't know.

Anyway, appreciate all honest opinions if I'm just not being open enough to DBT or working on my emotional dysregulation or whatever. Thanks.