Some insight i take care of father and have been since my early 20's. I see me and him as more as a team. My father has always had some health issues. Sometimes he can be a bit dramatic and always think his time is coming and we have been having this talk since I was 19 and I am 31 now. Anyways he had some issues such as a heart attack and ostomy in past 6 years but always made it out. About 3 months ago he was released from the hospital with severe COPD but he made it out but now has to be on 24 hr oxygen and they added a ton of other meds. He has his ups and downs in the past 3 months. But my body is breaking down to the point I'm barely eating, sleeping or anything really. Like it feels there is this huge wait on me. I feel guilty that if I don't spend every waking moment with him I lose that time. I get real depressed when thinking of losing him because he has always been there for me and supported me. But what makes it real hard I can't tell if he getting worse. Because somedays he won't have any breathing issues but other days he will have a COPD flare up where he has a really tough time getting back to somewhat normal. Plus my dad does have some dependence issues, that he worries if I'm not close to him. It just gets to me that all we ever talk about is him leaving this world and thats how its been for about 10 years. But now more then ever he dwells about leaving this world and thats what gets me down because I want him to feel better. But right now body is a wreck from the constant emotional roll coaster. I look like a mess. Sorry for my grammar im on mobile.