I'm not going to get better, and I feel like I'm just running out the clock at this point. I keep reading advice for other people that you should cut negative people out of your life, that you're the average of the five people you associate with the most, that you need people who will build you up and not tear you down. Well, I'm not that type of person, and it's becoming clear that I never will be, so off and on for most of this year I have been considering deleting all my friendly social media and ghosting my IRL friend so I drag them down with me as things get worse. Seems like the best thing I could do for them at this point.