I just can’t trust anyone. One of my best friends slept with the man who sexually assaulted me and planned to go out to dinner with him. I’m not sure if they did have dinner because I’ve stopped reaching out to her. My other best friend has been ratting me out to my Mum telling her where I am and what I’m doing (generally just drinking alone in my room). But they’ve been shit talking me for months. On top of that I went to stay at my friends house for a week while her parents were out of town and she made me do all her chores so I cracked it and went home, because I was doing her a favour by being there so she wasn’t alone. I was happy to help and do laundry (for example)  if I was washing something too, but why would I need to do her two loads of laundry for no reason and feed her dog. She then proceeded to have people over without letting me join in and when I came back to hers to get my stuff the first thing she says is “can you feed my dog?” And her brother earlier in the week kept touching me inappropriately and asked me to do things with him, despite me being practically family to him. Both my friend and her family didn’t care and said at least he asked and didn’t do anything. That still doesn’t make it right and they’ve invalidated my feelings completely leaving me to feel completely uncomfortable and disgusted.

I’ve deleted most social media apps, and even created a new reddit because I’m so ashamed that everyone treats me so poorly. What am I supposed to do or feel when no one seems to have my back in a genuine way.

I’m so unbelievably stressed and not sure what to do at this point. I need someone to talk to and rely on to get through this absolute hole I’m in, yet I have no one. I don’t deserve to be treated this way although everyone seems to do so time and time again.