my best friend/fp moved to another city in may and i've been on and off splitting on them the past week because they're replacing me with other people and i cant bring myself to speak to them. its been a week and im ignoring their calls, everything they send me on snapchat cause i know its just gonna be another pic of them doing drugs w their new friends and. i know im gonna get suicidal if i see it. and most of their other texts are just them being high or drunk with these new 'friends'. and i hate feeling like this cause obviously people can have other friends holy fuck. a part of me i just cant get myself to NOT think im being abandoned or replaced.

ive barely spoken to her for a week anyway so i think i might just cut her off for good. we're long distance friends now anyway so i guess it doesnt matter. 

im not sure if i want any friends anymore im just so tired. on top of that ive just been feeling honestly like everyones plotting against me. i dont feel safe around anyone and i feel like an awful person