Be it thoughts, ideas, love life, friendships, daily routine, diet. Developing boundaries is a very important aspect of recovery. You have a right to keep things to yourself, and the painful part of developing boundaries is beginning to understand that others have that right too.  

**No, you aren't being rude if you don't feel comfortable with sharing something**.  
**No, they aren't abandoning you if they don't feel comfortable with sharing something**.  

If someone is pushing you to tell them something you don't want to, you have a right to say "No". If you are asked a question you don't want to answer, you have a right to refuse to give the answer. If someone continues pushing you to tell them what they want and you don't feel comfortable with sharing, or gets mads when you say "No", a person you are talking to has issues themselves, and you aren't being rude and you still own a right to refuse to share that information and stay silent, perhaps walk away.  

You felt comfortable and quite validated reading that, didn't you?  
Now, read this.  

If you are pushing someone to tell you what they don't want to, they have a right to say "No". If you asked them a question they don't want to answer, they have a right to refuse to give the answer. If you continue pushing them to tell you what you want and they don't feel comfortable with sharing, or get mad when they say "No", you have some issues yourself, and they aren't being rude and they still own a right to refuse to share that information and stay silent, perhaps walk away.  

If it felt like you are being limited while you were reading that, you most likely have boundary problems (...of course, this isn't the only neither the completely accurate indicator).  

Those statements felt quite illogical to me at the beginning... when someone set their boundaries, I felt horribly abandoned. I was like: "But wait, if they aren't abandoning me... what is happening then?", which probably means that **you struggle to perceive any negative reaction as something other than abandonment**, so pay attention to that. Our minds very often play tricks on us.  

You know what? Developing boundaries is going to be *very* emotionally challenging. It takes a lot of self-control, a lot of interpersonal irrational fears irrationally coming true, a lot of painful No's to yourself and others. At the beginning, you are most likely going to feel like the world is cruel, like you are being limited by facts, and you will need to try incredibly hard not to give in and disrespect either yourself or someone else.  

But, let me tell you... Once you are starting to feel more comfortable with you and others having boundaries, you will feel relieved and your functionality levels will raise a lot. That is the first step towards developing one's identity, because you will have complete freedom to express yourself without any limitations in front of your own self, and of course in a socially acceptable way in front of others, because **developing boundaries will give you the power of being okay with not being liked**, because others have a right to dislike you (that is a fact; and you'd know you've progressed once you are completely okay with it!).  

It's a huge, very brave step to take and you need to prepare yourself for it and know what kind of feelings to expect.  

I'm very happy to share my progress and what I learned during progressing with this community!  
Wish you all a great recovery &lt;3 