My heart aches for pure happiness. To wake up everyday and have some glimmer of hope that something right will happen. 
But. 
My brain has constantly told me that I am worthless...and im convinced it is 100% accurate. 
In response I've treated everyone around me so terrible. Even though I know in my head that they love and care for me. Then I feel guilt for being a terrible human being. 

Rinse and repeat. Everyday. 
The exhaustion is so real.