Alcohol is the only thing that makes me happy. It takes away all anxiety and fills me with this amazing warm sensation like nothing else. I just love it. I have no idea how to live without it and at this point I have let it ruin so many things for me. It really is a toxic relationship lol. But I can't stop. I'll drink alone and in company. Doesnt matter. It always lifts my spirits, only to take out its revenge next day. Why does it have to be like this?