It's hard to lose relationships due to your mental illness, and then end up having no-one to talk to when you feel unloved, or dealing with stress. I really wish I can talk about the intricacies of feelings with someone. The people I do have are very invalidating, and or just not interested or understanding of the headspace. I genuinely find it hard to explore passions by myself. I'm envious of others who have what I had prior to losing it all. Haha what a drama king.

When I feel the emptiness for awhile , and just get lost in my head I tend to get confused, My mind jambled, I'm numb but overstimulated. I want to crawl out of my skin. Holidays are the worst. I wish I can escape my wants and needs from the past and move on.