I guess this is what splitting is.        How do you know if you actually love your SO or not?  As I've posted in several other threads on here, my boyfriend and I are on a 'break' (instigated by him), trying to figure out the future of the relationship because of my mental health issues.  At first the fear of abandonment was so strong that I proclaimed that I was "at his mercy", just waiting passively for him to say yea or nay - and hoping desperately for a yea, otherwise I would top myself.  It's been a month now.  We're still living together, sleeping in the same bed, doing activities together, *attempting* sex, but it triggers me and always ends in an argument -- yeah, I don't know; you tell me what the 'break' is actually from.  (He can't actually articulate this either.)  Some days have been really good.  When we're both feeling calm and happy, it's terrific.  I look at him sometimes and I absolutely adore him.  Then, days like today - after another sex-induced fight last night - I feel like I don't love him at all, that I did at the beginning of our relationship, but he's different now - too silly, too arrogant, too short-fused whenever I get upset, doesn't understand me at all.  His reaction when I try and articulate my thoughts/feelings - even when I manage to be calm about it and acknowledge that I'm 'disordered' - is to get frustrated and practically yell at me, "That just doesn't make sense!" like I'm deliberately trying to confuse him.        I am so over this right now; I just want to break up and move on and find someone who - even if they don't *get* it - can stay calm and take care of me when I'm upset rather than just yelling at me.  But then of course I'd be on my own, and I can't do that - emotionally or financially.   And tomorrow or tonight or whenever it happens, he'll say something - because in his own way I know he does love me and he does want to take care of me and be with me - and I'll decide I really do love him.        Operative words there:  "in his own way".  Fuck this shit.  What should I do?  Do I love him or not?  Do we even have a future?  (I know no-one can really answer these questions for me, but all comments are welcome!)