I've been struggling for years with debilitating anxiety. I've gone to CBT, I've taken 3 different anxiety meds, and have gotten many tests to rule out any medical conditions that could be causing my symptoms. 

Absolutely nothing helps. I've been stuck in this never ending cycle of panic attacks and feeling like I can't function. I want to feel normal but I just can't. I just graduated high school and my dad expects me to either go to college or get a job. My last 2 years of high school I would have 3+ panic attacks a day and idk if I can put myself through that again with college. Also, I had a job recently which only lasted 2 days because I was having panic attacks everyday before work and the day before I quit I had it so bad I thought I was going to pass out. My hands turned purple and my heart felt like it was skipping beats. My mom has heart issues and I've never gotten mine checked so I get nervous that my anxiety is causing problems with my heart. 

I get anxiety over every little insignificant thing and I just can't do it anymore. How can I want to live if all I've been doing my entire life is struggling to survive this fucking awful mental illness. I just don't know if I can do this anymore. No medicine, no therapist, no coping mechanisms can help me. I'm just going to suffer forever. My anxiety is going to hold me back from every opportunity because I can't even leave my house alone without feeling like I just ran a marathon. Life is just a chore at this point.