i come back from my happy place with a smile on my face and a pep in my step.

i climb the three flights of stairs, with a twinkle in my eyes. 

however, the smile seems to fade with every step. the pep in my step reduces to a heavy stomp of my feet. 

each step. the higher i climb, the more the weight is placed back on my shoulders. 

finally, the last thing to fade, is the twinkle in my eyes as i open the door to my room. 

my light hazel eyes turn into a dark brown. but not the milky brown eyes that i find stunning. the dark, lifeless ones that i know all to well.

the ones that stare back at me in my moments of weakness as i stare in the mirror right before i-

..dont know what to do. 

what else can i do? 

i have started to feel tired again. exhausted again. looking forward to going to bed at night as soon as my eyes open in the morning again.