Also posted this on r/Vent

&amp;#x200B;

26M  here. I don't hate my brother, I love him and miss him so fucking much,  but because he took his own life 2 years ago I'm having to take Efexor.  It helps me deal with the loss (a lot I think) but it is destroying my  sex life.

On march 2020 when he  passed away, I had been dating for nearly 5 years. Sex drive was never  an issue for me, it was actually pretty big since my girlfriend at the  time would sometimes get annoyed by how much I wanted to have sex. I  started taking daily doses of 150mg of Efexor, also called Venlafaxine.  First I felt my d\*\*k go numb, but I already had so much intimacy with my  gf at the time that it didn't bother us. I didn't reach orgasm but we  could still have sex. We broke up a few months ago (nothing related to  the meds) and naturally I met other people. I think I look pretty decent  and I also know how to have a conversation so I usually end up with  someone when I go out and etc.

First  experience after my ex was horrible. The girl was super into me and  after some drinks at a bar, we went to her place. After like 5 minutes  of "trying" to get it hard I decided to give up and blame it on the  recent breakup.

On my second  experience, I took like 40mg of tadalafil and peepee got rock hard. Felt  like shit the other day. Then I created this need to take tadalafil  everytime I would have sex. Met more girls, took more tadalafil, had  more sex and felt like shit after again and again. I can't have sex  without taking that damn pill, and sometimes (especially when I drink or  if I take it immediately before) it does not work at all, so sometimes I  am at a girl's house after a night out or something, and I literally  have explain it to her that we might not have sex because of this  fucking med I'm taking. And I'm "ok" with most of those situations  because I am probably never going to see that girl again.

But  then I met this girl and we tried four times already. She is friends  with people I work with, they have this 10 people group of friends that  constantly hang out and I was at this place with all of them for the  weekend. We were in a jacuzzi with more people and were getting along,  then people started to go out and in the end it was just the two of us.  We started talking more, kissing and etc and then she is on top of me. I  have to literally tell her to stop and explain the situation to her.  Fucking embarassing. She was totally ok with that, and we stayed there  talking about random stuff. On the next day, I was too anxious and took  tadalafil. At night we went to the jacuzzi again and she asked me if I  was just giving an excuse to her on the previous day, and I explained  everything with more details, about my brother and etc. But the  tadalafil hit me pretty well that day and we managed to do it.

Fast  forward one week and I'm at her house. Took tadalafil again but it only  worked after like 30 minutes of trying to get aroused on her couch.  Then when I was ready (and tadalafil is pretty strong so when I reach  that point I was there is no turning back haha) she got a little nervous  because she never took anyone to her house and we couldn't do anything  (we had no lube that day).

And  finally yesterday I was at a friend's birthday and she was with me.  After the night at this bar we went to her house again but nothing  happened. I took half a pill of tadalafil (10mg more or less) but it  didn't work out. I slept there with her, we woke up a few hours ago and I  came home to work. On my way home I texted her that maybe we should  stop trying because I'm not in the same moment in life as she is. I'm  trying to take care of my mental health, she needs to have that "single  phase" and things just wont work out. I feel bad about saying that  because I kinda liked her. Anyways now we are in a weird conversation  about this topic and I decided to vent here. If you reached this far,  thank you lol

TLDR: I'm taking anti depressants because I lost my brother and now I have to deal with low libido and I can't take it anymore