I've been living with anxiety for just about my entire existence, (Woo trauma!!), and my therapist gave me a book to read called The Body Keeps the Score. I've found it to be a very useful tool thus far but as the book further dissects the human brain and why PTSD, Anxiety, etc. patients function the way they do, I begin feeling more and more powerless. This is not at all the intent of author and definitely not my take away but I can't shake the feeling that I really am no more than a conditioned animal. It's not entirely off base, I panic at every family function because that's what my body has trained itself to do to survive. But the idea is just so deflating, and it leaves me feeling powerless even though I know I have the control. It hurts to recognize that the actions of the people around me that I had no control of can leave me in such an awful state. That they've successfully trained me.