I’m feeling that sickening, twisted feeling, almost as if I’ve been betrayed, because my boyfriend didn’t text me when he was out with his friends and had some drinks. 

Logically I know it’s not a big deal. I know that he didn’t cheat on me. 

This is what happened: 

On Tuesday I hung out with a friend for a few hours for lunch, since I’m trying to gain independence (I’m very dependant on my boyfriend and don’t hang out with friends when he isn’t around). I decided I’d try not message him too much that day, so I ignored my phone and did some shopping, then when I was home tried to continue not responding unless the texts required a response, since that is what he does to me. 

Anyway he did tell me he would probably go to his friends that night so I told him to have fun. That’s all that was said, we stopped messaging at like 4pm. 

He told me last night when we finally talked over the phone (usually we do everyday because I’m stupidly clingy but yesterday I was with my friend the whole day dying hair so I didnt even have to try not to text him so we called late at night), he told me his friends and him played beer pong, and it was just two of his friends, his friends sister and her boyfriend. 

So I know he didn’t cheat on me or anything, but he did drink. All I keep thinking is then why didn’t he text me? Not that he needs to tell me when he’s drinking or ask for my permission, it’s just that if I were drinking I’d want to text him about how much I love him and how I miss him. I brought that up to him and he said “I guess I just get really caught up with who I’m with and talking to people” which, in my mind, translates to “I don’t think about you when I’m with other people” 

I dunno. Lately I just feel like he’s not actually in love with me, but he thinks he is because he hasn’t had any experience with relationships and sex