All my life i fucking failed,im such a fuckup,i fuck up all the time,im just gonna let it all out just this once,nobodys even gonna read this so ill just express myself with honesty.Ever since i was born my life was doomed to be nothing but pain and misery,i never felt love in my life,not from my family,not from my friend and not from any of my girlfriend.There must be something about me which makes people so hateful and evil towards me.Ever since i was 4 my mom abandoned me in a bathroom,she left me there and went partying with friends,i was left in that bathroom for 9 hours,my dad told her to never come home again,and then he proceeded to not give a fuck about me growing up.He didnt teach me the necessary skills of life,i was ruthlessly bullied and i would cut tf out of my hands and forearms to forget about the bullying and humiliation growing up,i attempted to kill myself but i didn't bleed enough so i survived.All this shit,i never had a good day, happiness is so alien to me now that whenever something good happens once in a while the feeling of happiness is too much to handle and it makes me feel sick.Today i crashed my car too,it just made me realize how much of a fuckup i am,maby i should just tie the rope finally,its been long enough in this earth,im 20 but ive had enough.