Throwaway post. This is my first post on Reddit. 

I'm only 34, but I'm tired of living. Nothing is fun, nothing is interesting. I have the attention span of a lima bean and I absolutely hate my job and would quit if I didn't need the money to survive. I'm constantly comparing myself to other people and I hate it. I wish I could be like them; motivated, beautiful, and happy. But I don't know how to stop. Last night I went to sleep and found myself literally begging whoever is listening to not let me wake up.  I don't know what to do or who to turn to. My family wouldn't understand. I really do feel like I'd be doing them a huge favor if I wasn't around because I feel like a huge burden. I have very few friends and all I do is go to work, come home, and sleep the rest of the time. I'm tired of pretending. I just want it to be over.