When I see people reporting cheating, lying, etc. from their partners, I always end up looking for evidence that my boyfriend is doing the same. Sometimes I get so paranoid that I end up creating a whole story in my head, I lose track of reality, and I cry over something I don't even know if it's true, if it happened or if it will ever happen.

I sabotage the relationship a lot and I have to fight with myself not to create unnecessary arguments about things that don't exist/never happened. 

That's so fucking tiring sometimes. We had a great night yesterday and we've never been so good as we're being in the last few weeks. Our communication is going good and then I see these kind of things and I get all unsure and my trust issues comes again. 

Ps: he never cheated on me and he's a trustworthy boy. Yet I can't trust anyone. Literally anyone.

Ugh, just fuck my life.