I've been seconded to a position at work in a new office the past two months. I met the most amazing person there. We had excellent chemistry, I find her super attractive and I was feeling a hint of reciprocation but with a wall between us for some reason. Classic BPD, I fell HARD. Obsessive thoughts 24/7 about where she is, what shes doing, and what shes thinking about. I cant turn my brain off.

On my last day, I find out (through asking her a subtle yet pointed question) she has a partner already. We're both females so it's always hard to know whether someone views you as a 'friend' or something else. 

I felt a split moment of rage (which I didn't show), then got on with things. I told her at the end of the day I liked her because I HATE not saying things (impulsive) and that I didn't expect her to do anything with that information, I just wanted her to know. I then walked out and haven't seen her since (this was a week and a half ago).

I feel like a junkie coming down from a high. The level of intensity I'm feeling makes me want to KMS. Its a mix between jealously and rage (her partner), disappointment (for her not telling me earlier and me having to ask something where she was forced to answer) and longing/pure love (for her).

How can I get past this? I feel like she was 'perfect' for me. I'm trying to tell myself it was the splitting talking but we were just SO compatible its not funny. She's the first person where I've actually been able to reign in my meltdowns because I cared about how she felt too much.