I’m a 21 year old female who identifies with being a lesbian. I’m the oldest daughter and black sheep of a Christian family. I’ve been struggling really bad lately. I attempted to cut my father out of my life after he physically assaulted me for recognizing his narcissism and standing up to him, 1 year and 9 months ago. In that incident he would not let me leave the house, threw me across a room, choked me, hit me in the face and head with a belt and it’s buckle( busted my lips), and then chased me out the house. One of my younger sisters (19 now) also fought me while he watched and laughed. He was arrested but bailed out by my grandmother and uncle the next day. Fast forward to now and My sister is graduating next month and having her graduation party at THE house and I told her that I’m not going I physically cannot.  she continued to make a public post on Facebook saying that she basically wants nothing to do with me anymore blaming me for everything. This was yesterday. Since the initial incident everybody expects me to move on and get over it. Sweep it under the rug and forget. But I can’t. Even my living situation now isn’t great. I now stay with my mom (she has cancer) and stepdad who both have given up on me too, they’ve discussed kicking me out again with my younger siblings. At this point I’ve tried to unalive myself and was hospitalized for it 3 times since and just got diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder on top of Major depression, generalized anxiety, PTSD, and now my psychiatrist thinks I’m bipolar too. I’ve lost so many family and friends that promised to be there for me because they think I’m toxic now. I talk about my trauma and death too much for them. Idk why I vented my but why isn’t everybody aware of my dad’s abuse like seeing the proof wasn’t enough. I don’t understand how my dad has everybody so brainwashed to think that any of it is on me and not him. He literally told everybody that I broke into his house and jumped on him and he acted in self defense. He has successfully isolated me once again. How can I ever move on?