Every single day I wake up feeling hopeless just wanna die but I don't I just wanna be happy Im a 19 yo alcoholic I get high everyday I do anything to just help me feel any different even if it makes me feel worse . 
People will say work out go for a walk listen to music get into a hobby play sports make art play an instrument all that but I do that everyday and everyday I still feel so shitty I just get random mood swings all the time I'll be happy as shit a hour later I'll wanna die I can't stand this shit anymore nobody likes me and if they do my brain makes me believe they really don't everyone left me my Bestfriend abandoned me Ive just been here by myself stuck in my dumbass brain therapy doesn't work nothing you guys think I should maybe try talking to a doc about maybe trying medication? (I kinda don't Want too cause I can't do certain drugs while off antidepressants which obviously isn't a good excuse to not use em lol)