I'm 24F. I have gained some weight since covid but nothing crazy and I've also been doing an intense workout regiment that has involved strength training which means I've gained a ton of muscle in the past year.

During all of this my body has caused me a ton of anxiety. Going up sizes or having to find different styles that fit better have caused panic attacks and huge anxiety episodes. Tonight I asked my boyfriend to take a photo of my back so I can see if the new skincare regiment was working to fade the acne scars on my back that I've had since I was a teenager. It didn't end well. The scars are faded but all I saw was rolls and fat and ugliness. I struggle with body dysmorphia and I have been so so anxious tonight ever since I saw that photo. 

I constantly rotate between feeling somewhat confident and that I look beautiful as a curvy and athletic woman or I'm an obese disgusting whale who will always look like this.

Does anyone else have massive anxiety around body image? I want to love myself but this anxious self hatred has to stop. 

P.S. I'm on Lexapro and do have a therapist who is working with me on this but it's gonna be an uphill battle.