&amp;#x200B;

I dedicated the last 3 years of my life to recovery from BPD. I feel like I have overcome most of my problems. During this period I was being groomed and manipulated by a narcissist too. 

&amp;#x200B;

Now I wonder what I should do? I am single. I have worked enough on myself (I feel like I am overdoing journaling now). I find myself running in circles, ruminating day in and out, remain stuck in past, overthinking again and again about my childhood. The narcissist grooming broke me down to pieces. Since I am Borderline, finding out that I was manipulated, used, lied to and fooled for 3 years was just a punch in the guts. I could not control my emotions, had mental breakdown, wrote long emails, ruminated all day, cried all the time, felt small weak powerless. This happened between Jan to May 2022. 

&amp;#x200B;

I read somewhere that the way to move on from narcissist abuse is to find a good partner. I should not just sit and wait for "problem to heal before I enter a relationship". Rather I should enter a relationship and the problem will solve itself with new experiences. I am overdoing the journaling and psychoanalysis. My life has stagnated. Too much recovery and now I am tired of recovery as well.