Hi,

this is going to sound really odd but ever since I had a panic attack 2 years ago, I had bad anxiety and  I had a fear of developing a more severe mental disorder. It always changes. I read a book about ptsd from war vets etc and got a bit triggered. I'm scared to develop PTSD and have flashbacks. I am scared of developing it because my past boyfriend (this is like 4 years ago) and I used to have really bad fights once in a while bc we had just moved to a new country and were young, where it got really aggressive in terms of screaming and sometimes we would be in each other face. one time we got really drunk and I was screaming apparently and he covered my mouth to make me stop and then I bled from my lip. it was never like punching or hitting across the face things. never.  (I KNOW THIS ISNT OKAY I DONT NEED A LECTURE. PLEASE). I don't actually really care about the fights themselves when I think of it I'm not triggered or anything  I'm more like hmm what if I am repressing it and what if one day I wake up with PTSD. I know this may sound stupid but anxiety can really provoke me in the weirdest ways. 

&amp;#x200B;

once again, pls pls do not lecture me how that is toxic, I know I was 18 and stupid.