i've been severely depressed for almost 3 years although nothing serious has happened for me to turn out this way. i distanced myself from my friends, i stopped going to school, i barley talk to my parents and i leave the house like twice a month lmfao. i have lost interest in everything i used to love and i have no energy to try out new hobbies. everything just feels just like a chore, even getting up to get a glass of water feels like a full on mental and physical workout for me.

 i've been on anti depressants for about 5 months but they barley help. the higher my dosage gets the more numb i become. i only take them to convince myself that im doing something to fix this issue and that im actually trying to get better but lately i've started to realise that i have lost the will to get better. thats only the mental aspect though. 

physically its been just as bad for me. my hair is falling out and im getting like 5 grey hairs per week, , my vision keeps getting worse, my weight is constantly fluctuating drastically, plus i spend all day in bed so my bones and muscles are weak. im so weak even standing still hurts. 

but back to my deteriorating mental health, i dont want to kms but i have no energy to do something to get better so im kinda stuck in an endless cycle of being a lazy loser. its a shame cause im only 16 so i'm essentially wasting the "best years of my life".

anyways if anyone actually read this sorry for any spelling mistakes i dont have grammarly 💀