I've had depression for over 7 years now and I barely have any friends because of it. I withdraw from the couple friends I have alot and everytime neither one seems to care. The only time I seem to be of primary interest is when they've got noone else in their lifes so they come back to me cuz I love them and ill shelter them. Im so alone that I let them come back because they're all I have. I feel like im constantly taken advantage of and the feeling makes me physically feel sick but the thought of having no one at all makes me feel even worse. I'm stuck no matter what I do because neither way I get to be happy. 
 One of my best friends has a boyfriend of nearly a year and over that year shes just sorta stopped caring about me as much. I get it shes in love but it just makes me feel inadequate everytime she talks about him like he's the only one to ever care about her this way. We met years before she got with her current boyfriend and I have always done everything I can to help even when it inconveniences myself. I've done all the things her boyfriend has but its like all my effort is invisible. Then the other day my friend was upset and we were talking about her relationship and she says he's "the only good thing in her life" and that she'll never be able to make a future with me or something. Anyway the whole thing has just utterly made me feel inadequate and depressed to the fullest extent. I've even relapsed after being clean for a very long time, not that I'd let her know I wouldn't wanna upset her.
 I understand i can't change how she thinks or feels but it would just be nice to actually feel acknowledged for all that you've done for a person.
I feel like im always giving out more than I get back and honestly I'm so tired of living like this. 

I've not felt this depressed since 2018.