For me it involves feeling like I’m going to need to live a greater and grander life to make life worth living given what I’ve been through so far. The problem is that the longer I go on without beginning to experience these things, the bar that I set for what will satisfy me gets higher and higher. 

For example, I haven’t made a friend on my own in years. So I feel like I deserve to have develop a super high status, expansive social network—bordering on feeling like I want to dedicate my life to essentially becoming a socialite.  

Similarly, I’ve never dated, had a relationship, or experienced intimacy (short of cuddling with someone once). So I feel like now I intentionally want to sleep with/date as many women as possible and have some intensely promiscuous phase.  

Same with with social recognition, power, and validation. I feel like the only way I’ll be satisfied is if I manage to become a very noteworthy, almost famous person who has influence and sway over my admirers.

While, I definitely do want these things, I realize the low possibility of these things coming to fruition (especially since they’re focused on the outcome without much through into how I would reach them). And this makes me worry that I’m setting myself up for personal and existential failure/disappointment.