TRIGGER WARNING RANT: BPD/Bipolar disorder, NPD, abusive relationships, and self harm, suicidal ideation, etc.

I’m a part of a Facebook support group that is to support victims who fell into relationships what is the narcissistic tendencies, like NPD/BPD (narcissistic personality disorder plus BPD), and are also victims of highly abusive to their partners. 

A member of the group asked a question like “could some who’s a narcissist, could it just be borderline personality disorder?”

From my previous post in this group about a week ago, I posted my worries about me having BPD/bipolar disorder; I think I’ve developed bpd and/or bipolar disorder. Since then in a little over a week, my BPD/bipolar disorder on top of my complex ptsd, anxiety, and depression - I had to check myself into well renounced psych ward (one of the #2-3 hospitals in the country) because they’re the only place who knows how to take care of my physical needs as a quadriplegic and perhaps listen to my mental needs as I had very strong rapid mood swings/mania/cycling/and urges to self harm a week ago but was smart enough to ground myself and not self harm but then I had strong suicidal ideation thoughts and realized I need help. 

Since then, both the psychiatry team on the psych ward and my therapist agrees that I’ve developed BPD/bipolar disorder due to trauma. I was sad because I thought the stigma of people with BPD were angry people and it takes a lot out of me to become angry. I’m a severe empath and often get sad if people get upset with me even though I know I didn’t do anything. I can name so many good things about me but my mind wants to work against me like “I’m going to die alone, no one is ever going to love me, I’m a bad person, etc”

I’ve learned that most people with bpd are more self destructive to themselves without hesitation, and often find themselves in toxic relationships because they have a fear of abandonment, no self of identity, etc. I have zero qualities of having narcissistic personality disorder, and have a very low history of becoming angry or violent because I like to avoid conflict, and am very empathetic.

A few people on this support group post were like “yes. people who are narcissistic have bpd.” When I tried explaining that I’m in the psych ward for just being diagnosed for bpd/bipolar but I have zero traits of a narcissistic personality disorder and am far from abusive. But I go for or attract men who are narcissistic and ignore the red flags because of my BPD.

When I tried to explain while a narcissist can potentially have both npd and bpd; often times  the people with the narcissistic tendencies lack empathy, are very self centered, egotistical, most of the time they don’t self harm without hesitation, etc; compared to some one who just has BPD and has no symptoms of NPD who are very empathetic - where people with NPD do not usually want the help and barely even self harm themselves compared to people with BPD. 

I had this one gentleman in the support group had the audacity tell me: 
“I’ve done extensive research on my own through books and YouTube videos and it’s a fact (not opinion based) that people with BPD are narcissistic. The authors and “expert’s” that he’s “researched” are going to laugh at me.”

I’m just like bruh 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m in the psych ward now and am working with some of the best psychiatrists in the country. And you’re telling me that you’re “educated on people who suffer from just bpd are narcissistic” based of a YouTube video or a self-help book but have never heard of NAMI.Org; which is a very reliable source that points out the traits of someone with BPD is quite “concerning” knowing about your “research and reliable sources of people with BPD.” Especially when someone who comes across so “educated about people with BPD being narcissistic”, I told him he should learn the difference between your, you’re, there, their, and they’re. 

End of rant.