I've been trying to put my finger on it and I just can't.

I feel like time is really weird. On one hand, I keep worrying about the future, I count down to potential stressful events, and my days disappear like friggin' wild horses galloping into the mist. But then, when I look in my agenda and see what I've done since the beginning of the month, I'm surprised because the events seem so distant and I thought they happened much longer ago.

I understand that as we get older, time tends to speed up... but this is some next level crap. 

This weird time perception is hindering any long-term commitments and ruins changes I start to implement. Let's say I want to practice a skill every day for an hour. But three days in I feel like it's been ages since I started, and yet I can't see results so I drop it. 

I don't know. Really. I've been dealing with anxiety and other mental health issues for many, many years. I've been going to therapy and educating myself as much as I can... But this time-thing baffles me and I don't even know how to call it or talk about it. 

I just feel like I don't have a handle on reality. I feel I've wasted the last 5 years or so but again, an agenda check tells me it's not true? I've been doing things all this time? So how come they seem so old and barely real? 

I want to talk about it to my therapist but it's hard when I feel like I don't even have the right vocabulary.