I know my life isn’t as bad as other people’s but I’ve had a really bad past 24 hrs and I just need to vent because I really want to die, I’m just so stressed out and upset.

I was supposed to meet up with one of my old friends today and when I almost got to her house she texted me saying she was busy and that she was so sorry, that she had some homework she needed to catch up on. I went across my city just to visit her and I was like, that’s okay sometimes things just happen.

I was stuck for a few hours because it’s a public holiday and I took the bus and they were malfunctioning and only ran every hour. I tried to make the best of it but I became so overwhelmed and ended up just going out to eat alone which sucked because I consumed probably thousands of calories. I don’t even really have money to do this I was just feeling bad and eating my own feelings tbh. 
And then I checked my Instagram and saw she was actually with her friend and it had been posted over an hour ago and the drive to where she even was is atleast an hour from her house, so I came to the realisation she lied to me and just blew me off.
Which kind of sucked because I went to so much effort. I spent so much today on shit I don’t even need and don’t know why I bought considering I don’t even have any will to live. 

My night last night my dad insulted me and I started crying, he ended up shouting at me/bringing back things from the past and blaming it on me. I felt so overwhelmed and didn’t get to sleep until 2 am. I have no will to live and I want to die but I don’t feel like I deserve to be sad because so many other people are going through bad things. I also just can’t cope with all of this violence going on in this world right now, too much chance and noise is going on and I hate it bc I’m autistic too. It’s like everything is piling up on me and I feel like crying right now.