So I have been in a great, loving, supportive relationship for 5.5 months. I really opened up tonight. Like REALLY opened up about heavy day to day existential dread. It hurt him to hear it. He was sad. And I think I might have scared him? He never has responded like this before. He shut down and ended the conversation completely. Which was so hard for me to handle but I was respectful and gave him his space. 

I can’t say I blame him… but god damn. It feels so lonely not feeling like I’m able to really be honest with people I love. Without terrifying them and hurting them and possibly pushing them away. Pushing them away is the opposite of what I want. 

Came here for some moral support from a group of people I’m sure can probably understand. I feel like a real piece of shit. I’m ashamed of who I am. I open up about my self hatred and perpetual emptiness and my partners response just made me feel more ashamed. 

I need some words of encouragement right now. 😣