My brain can’t live in tranquility 

Being at peace is nerve wracking to me. I can never enjoy something or look forward to things. I have to make up scenarios to think about all the worst things that could happen. It’s like, If I don’t think about them, then they WILL happen. Trippy logic huh?

I have a trip coming up with my mom next week and I am an anxious flyer as is. I get scared on planes, think our flights gonna get canceled, luggage will be lost. Or that before the trip something bad will happen, someone will die, mom or I will get into an accident. 

It sucks. It hurts so bad because I feel I can’t be happy. I have to think about the worst. It’s exhausting. I get more anxious thinking about good things than bad things