I haven’t been officially diagnosed with this disorder but it’s likely that I have it, quiet bpd specifically. I have a reddit friend whom I’ve been talking to for a couple months and it’s gotten ugly. He keeps throwing bpd in my face. I just feel like you can never defend yourself because everything you do or say will be attributed to having bpd. Like when you look at normal people, you see with your own eyes, they do the same things you do when arguing with people. But no one diagnoses it or reduces everything to them having a certain mental disorder. They just get to be human. I’ve read some things on certain subreddits and something I’ve noticed is that the person with bpd is literally ALWAYS in the wrong. That other person never owns up to the negative part they played in falling out with someone. You literally can’t do or say a damn thing without being accused of manipulation or being defensive as a result of having this nasty disorder. Once you’re suspected of being a borderline, that’s all they see. And from then onwards everything you say in defense of yourself is a result of being borderline rather than just you being a full person with a full range of emotions like any other human. You can’t reason with these people. You hit a brick wall every time you try to do so. All they see is the sickness and their own faults are invisible to them. I want to scream every time my friend says something along the lines of “you’re feeling attacked and invalidated, very bpd”. Like shut the fuck up and talk to me as a person and not an example of bpd. I want the analytical, psychological lenses removed from our conversations. I already have a therapist for fuck’s sake. I’m not asking for that part of myself to be ignored, just stop using it as a weapon to shut me down so you can be right. I don’t even know if I have this sickness and if I do, it’s NOT who I am. I know some with this illness can be total monsters but I have an extremely hard time believing that’s always the case. I think it’s possible for a borderline to come across and interact with people who are nearly just as toxic as they are (not really talking about my friend here, just thinking about the kind of people borderlines have dealt with in general) but since they don’t have the label, no one ever focuses on them and their behavior. I can’t deal with someone who refuses to acknowledge their own faults. I’m beginning to wonder if these people are in fact the innocent little victims they portray themselves to be. I bet some non borderline will read this post and think “see look at this here, this is what they do” to reinforce and justify their own biases against people who have this illness. UGH.