I grew up to to what appears to be very irritating people. They emotionally abuse me and they take every part of me and claim it. This morning, they noticed my school report card was evidently incomplete: There was only one subject that has a grade on it. It’s fine because it’s online school and I just need to pass the rrwuired activities before school ends — which I do, I just get lazy because my mind is always preoccupied by my situation: living in a house that induces fear and anxiety by the people that a child is supposed to trust. I felt alone and extremely suicidal for weeks. My dad confronted me and started rambling about things no one should ever hear by twisting my words and just basically a typical parental emotional abuse. I couldn’t hold it in so I screamed to tell him to shut the hell up. They were cornering me and I just wanted to get out of that very toxic situation. I told them I need a therapist then I eventually crawled into a ball because I was helpless as they were telling things that is driven by their selfishness. They tried to get me out of that position but I didn’t want to. My mom hugged me because I appeared vulnerable and helpless but I don’t think I wanted that from HER because of the whole situation. She sat me down and talked to me.

We talked for a while and I maintained my composure and my knowledge of psychology and she asked me tell her my problems, I refused a couple times by telling her “It’s not that easy, I need a therapist not you.” She persisted because she wanted that she talks with me instead of a random person. Now, I know where she’s coming from but she’s not really what I needed to talk to about my problems as she has a lot of things that she is preoccupied with since the moment she married my dad which is the reason her children ended up as problematic and then they blamed us for it. I then asked her why she married my dad as they appeared unhappy this whole time and apparently: She never wanted to marry at the age that she met him. She told me she wasn’t ready. They were forced to marry each other for an important rule so that they could stay working abroad (where they met). She told me she had dreams to make the life of her mother (my grandmother) better and even renovate her house. She didn’t get to do any of those. Although, because she was married to my dad, they started a family together (us). She told me that she didn’t want to get married to him and she didn’t want to start a family yet because she was focused on her dreams to improve her mother’s life. I told her that it was wrong (she tried to justify it) and she shouldn’t have to think that she had to stay with my dad but she didn’y want us to grow up without a dad. I told her “It’s better to not have a technically complete family than have a dysfunctional one.”

I felt bad for her as she rambled about her dreams and how she was forced to learn to love my dad because of those circumstances. She shouldn’t have been forced to be in a forced relationship. The tone and the justification she was trying to tell me that “but I learned to love him”... I really feel bad for her and I don’t know what to do for her now. I told her we should go to psychotherapy but there aren’t any nearby. I am capable of taking care of myself as I have been mentally alone for years now and thanks to the friends I made online but I’m worried for her. I am suffering but I can handle it but she is in need of therapy. She told me she couldn’t tell that story to anyone even the countless friends she made over the years which just meant it was eating her up.