I know I did this to myself, but I think I’ve been doing very well this past year keeping myself at bay. I may not come across that way, but damn I’m trying and I am not even close to the person I was before. At all. Sometimes I wanna just actually have a real meltdown so they can see the difference between me crying and me being absolutely hysterical. I don’t even show anyone when I’m that upset. I just close myself off in my room and pray I can breathe normally again soon. But they think they have to walk on eggshells around me. I genuinely cannot think of a time they’ve seen me get that bad. Do I really have to bottle absolutely everything up now? I can’t even express normal emotions?