Hello r/BPD, M31 here.

First time posting, new account because I am paranoid about former friends using this stuff against me again.

I have been struggling for the last few months because I experienced a really disappointing betrayal from a very old friend, and in the fallout I came to doscover I cannot trust my wider circle of friends. The whole ordeal has severely damaged me sense of trust, I find myself in a downward swing of intense hatred towards all of them. I would pack my bags and leave these tumours behind if I wasnt bound here by a relationship, with a rent agreement and all, but my patience is running pretty thin with her too. 

Long story short, my old friend was stealing from me and had mislead me on the cost of rent for our shared accomodation of two years for his own benefit. When i moved out ahead of the end of the lease, i asked for a copy of the rent record and he proceeded to threaten me with litigation and demanded I pay a little under half my bond for falling short of his requested notice period, because he said, "one month," and I paid my rent up for 4 weeks. He claims i thusly failed and, while i could have taken the matter to tribunal, the cost of taking it to court would have been more expensive anyway. 

I asked my friends for support, and asked if some of them could appeal to his reason. None of them did. They didnt even agree to hear my side of the story or look at the evidence. 

I have tried really hard to jjst get over it and forget it, but I can't. I am still so angry it makes me angry literally every day and has done for the last 11 months. I am angry about what he did, but i am even more hurt that the people i thought i could trust for help or support, whom i have provided with support at the drop of a hat, wouldnt even lift a finger and have even begun shutting me down and calling me rude for bringing the topic up.

I can't handle it. I want to take it to court and give all the information over and let him go to prison, as I have evodence of other acts of fraud and criminal actovity he has done. I want to do it to rub it in their faces before telling them all it could have been avoided if they were good people and had an ounce of integrity.

I am so angry. It nearly drove me to suicide.

I dont trust my friends anymore. They all want me to just go back to normal and act like nothing happened, but I cant. More than, I cant handle them treating me like a liar when they wont even look at the evidence. 

I dont know why i still want their approval, i guess ive comitted so much time to them i feel like it will be immense loss  but i feel like ive already lost them so im stuck.

I worry too this means ill never be able to let down my guard. People are horrible monsters in my mind right now. The concept of opening up to another one makes me beyond angry.

I'm at the end of my rope. I dont know what to do anymore.