It's coming up to 3 years that I've been struggling with depression. It's been so long everyones forgotten about it, even I forget sometimes. That is until I'm dragged back into the pit again. Just when I think I'm getting even a little bit better, the dam breaks again and Im forced to pick up the pieces all by myself. Everything pours out. 

All of the emotions I've subconsciously held in, the tears that have been dormant and the suicidal tendencies/thoughts that have taken the back seat for a few weeks. They all come rushing in and there's nothing I can do about it except wait for the next cycle to start. 

It's been three years and nothing has changed, I'm getting really fucking tired. Just a few more loose ends to tie up and some plot lines to ride out till im done.