
I’m 25f and have been diagnosed (ADHD inattentive type) and medicated for almost 15 years. While I felt the meds helped my motivation and energy, my symptoms persisted and got much worse as an adult, and I actually did not manage to complete college despite school being my favorite thing/place in the world.

I tried many different combos of ADHD meds and nothing was really helping my symptoms. My anxiety is higher than every and my self esteem is (perhaps appropriately given how much I’ve failed) low. My motivation is so low I don’t have any desire for anything anymore I just know it’s what is expected of me, to fight and be happy, so I try to do it because it’s “right.” But I’m barely making it and everyone is disappointed. It’s humiliating and it’s entirely my own fault. I had every resource at my disposal but I gave up, again and again. I don’t want to try any more.

To add onto this I was told by multiple doctors I probably don’t have ADHD and was misdiagnosed, and mismedicated. I can’t go a day without stimulants even though they don’t help the symptoms I am a million times less motivated and more depressed and apathetic off them.

I feel horrible about myself. It’s like the reverse experience of being diagnosed realizing you are not to blame, there is a name for it. This is like being told it really is just you, your character, your brain is normal you really are just lazy and unmotivated and what’s worse is that the meds since I didn’t have ADHD made me “super powered” and I was basically like all the rich kids who get a leg up with adderall but don’t need it to get to baseline (like someone with legit ADHD). And I still failed. The only accomplishments (the few great paper or projects I created, etc.) I ever achieved were done under the influence. I can’t even take credit.