Seen three therapists, taken 5+ different meds, have done the small thing like build a routine, try and distract myself, but none of it does anything. I’ve spent the last two years doing nothing but getting high/drunk in my room and it’s all I ever have the desire to do. (Even though I hate it at the same time?). 22 y/o still live with my dad and do nothing to contribute to his life or household. The few friends I’ve had since I was a kid are still my friends but it’s impossible to connect with any of them as I am just such a negative person. Don’t cry anymore, no suicidal thoughts, just numb. My only thought left is wondering when and what it will be that inevitably drives me to kill myself.