TW: Self loathing rant, self destructive behavior, anxiety, insecurity.


pity d*ck in my mouth


I failed. Again. In every relationship i am unable to function like a normal person.



He asked for space. Said everything is fine, but -surprise, surprise- i think its just a stupid excuse. He is going to dump me, because im a toxic influence. And i cant blame him. 



So i respected his boundary. I didn't contact him.  For once I want to follow through, although it is too late. 



It hurts. But i got myself to blame. I broke boundaries. Again. He gave me one final chance, but i honestly don't know if i can follow through. 



There are certain issues keeping me in a self destructive pattern.  I need therapy to figure out how to control them. I thought i was ready for dating. But boy, was  I wrong.



Maybe i'm not suitable for a relationship. Maybe i can't fight those demons out of my head. 



I feel lost, unloved and alone. 




End of my self loathing vent. 




Thanks for reading. Stay strong everyone. We all do the best we can. ❤❤❤