Hi! I will start by saying I was sexually and mentally abused by someone when I was 15 who later turned out to be really dangerous. 

The mental abuse is what stuck with me the most. 

I thought I was fine for a long time and then my partner of 5 years lied to me repeatedly about something and I ended up having a mental break down because I thought it was possible he could be cheating on me because I felt like I didn’t know him anymore (this is also almost exactly what happened to me in a previous relationship). 

Nothing he could say or do at the time made me believe it was still possible he could still POSSIBLY be lying. Even though I didn’t think he would do that. 

It caused me to become really paranoid and go through every person in my life and wonder if I could trust them. 

I watched the Ted bundy documentary and it made me really scared anyone in my life could be dangerous. I started to have thoughts my dad could be a serial killer or anyone in my life that I didn’t fully understand or has a bad temper. I love my dad and I never truly believed it but it really really scared me that was even a thought that crossed my mind. I knew if I stopped thinking about it, it would go away, and the thought eventually did. 

But now I’m worried these are jealous and persecutory delusions and it’s just a matter of time before I start hallucinating. 

Does this sound like the beginning of schizophrenia? 

My therapist says I have OCD and that’s not what this is but I’m scared and I’m worried she’s wrong and I should be seeking a new treatment or have a brain scan or something. 

Please help