I am going to start from the beginning. My childhood was fucking amazing. from the day I was born until my 14th birthday, my parents were happy, I had a great social life, and there was nothing to be sad about. 

The peak of my happiness was in 2020. I was 12 turning 13, I was getting good grades, had a crush that I was going to ask out soon who also had a crush on me, and my parents were happy together. That all changed near my 14th birthday. My crush ended up dating someone else. No biggie, it is just a crush, who cares. 

Then on the 1st November, a day after my 14th birthday, my parents called my siblings and I to their room and my dad said that he would be moving out for a while because they needed to work on their relationship. Turns out my mum just wanted to be out of the relationship.

Almost 2 years later, and hundreds of thousands of dollars wasted, I was living the majority with my dad and visiting my mum every few weekends. I preferred this way. My dad was such a loving dad. We watched shows together each night and had the best dinners and went on walks/rides each afternoon after school. It just felt more natural since I was already living in that house prior to my mum moving out. 

Well, the past 5 days have been hell.

Day 1: My dad broke his foot and had to go to the hospital, which means I had to go to my mums 

Day 2: Dad still at hospital when I get home from school. He asks whether I am going to my mum's or whether I will let myself into his house. I say I will go to my mums then come back when he is back from the hospital.

Day 2 (Night): Mum says she has a new boyfriend and that we are going out to dinner with him. While we are out at dinner, my dad calls asking where we are. My brother says everything about mums bf and dad gets upset.

Day 3: I am covid positive. Don't hear from dad.

Day 4: I message him if I can come back to do my isolation there and hang out. He would usually say yes but he just dismissed the question and said: "Better tell (mum's bf) to test!"

Day 5: He called me and talked with me about mum's bf and how he is. My dad also said that for the whole 2 week winter holidays (I'm from Australia) mum can have us which he wouldn't usually do. He also said that mum's bf must be a great dad.

It sucks because I barely even know mum's bf and my dad is jealous. I feel really fucking sad and heartbroken about the way my dad feels right now and feel like it is partly my fault by going back to my mum's on day 2 instead of back to my dad's. Maybe it would've been different. I just hope that he realises that I love him so much and I miss being at his house. I don't want all the memories I have with him to remind me of him. I want those memories to strengthen my bond with him. 

I don't expect anyone to read this, it is just a huge rant.

I just love him to bits, and I'm not sure if I will ever get to see him again...

If for some reason you read this dad, since I know you have reddit, just know that I love you so much. I love you way more than that fucking boyfriend of mum's. He will never be able to replace you.