I have BPD+NPD and find it hard to sustain any relationships (friends/so). I always was that kind of person that always got along with people on a superficial level. I know a lot of people and I am 99% sure that most of them like me, but for some reason I can't keep even one friend.
When I started college I found the first group of friends that I really believed will last. At first I was excited, there were no symptoms for quite some time, maybe because of MJ. 
We became very close but I fucked it up...
I started having these thoughts that they don't appreciate my company, they don't care about me or what I have to say. I was so fucking angry and around that time I started hanging out with people who were considered to be the cool ones.
I got into fight with one of my friends which basically led to me destroying the relationships with all of them. I didn't have to cause it was repairable, I just felt this urge inside me...I guess I wanted to hurt them emotionally.
In the process I ruined 2ys worth of friendship and now I am alone, just like after destroying my high school friendships.
I feel angry because if it wasn't for me they would never be friends and empty because now I have 3 months vacation, no one to spend it with and classic bpd boredom. I don't think I will ever make real friends and it's depressing but infuriating at the same time.
Do you guys have similar experiences?