I broke up a few months ago now but now I understand her more than I ever thought it would be possible to understand someone (If only I knew this knowledge today).  


I got blocked many places but she still want me in her life but not talk to me in a personal way. Though she communicate with me trough her instagram every day, she wants my attention every day, she stalk me everywhere she know I'll be, probably to get update on what I'm doing for reasons I can't explain.  


Sure, with other people she have her "mask" on with her smear campaign against me, while doing her own thing with me behind the scenes. It's like a two sided person.  


She is a quiet bpd, I'm sure she will stalk me forever. I was an important person and huge part of her life and always will be. We were together for close to 2 years.  


She want my attention daily, communicates with me daily, she goes extra steps to pull me back in when I have'nt responded for certain amount of time but again, not yet in any personal way.. Maybe I'm in a standby until she finds a new FP or maybe she already have one? Maybe she is testing the waters with me, I don't know.  


At this point I'm fine with whatever but I know how important it is for her that I'm staying around but I personally believe it's not because of her abandonment fears that she want me to stay or maybe it is? I don't know. Regardless I would'nt mind just hanging out with her until she moves on, I've told her several times that it's better if we both move on but she never let me go so. So.. I obey her wish to be around still, I personally don't mind. Anyone got a clue what's going on?  


I don't know. Help.  


&amp;#x200B;