The more I keep to myself, shut everyone out emotionally, shut myself down emotionally, the better I am. Like, lightyears better. I can just enjoy stupid little stuff. I take care of business, relax in my downtime, and I just don’t gaf about anything else. 

I don’t get upset, triggered, attached, jealous or offended. I don’t need validation, I don’t get obsessed, I don’t overreact to things, and I don’t need anything from anyone in an unhealthy way. I’m just grounded. I exist on my own terms and everyone else exists in theirs and nothing really bothers me, like a boat on a still lake.

I do the things I need to do. I go to work, I cook, I read, I watch documentaries, I have superficial conversations with people, and everything’s fine. I don’t have to watch anything fall apart in my life because there’s nothing left I invest myself in that can fall apart. 

I truly think this is just who I am now. I don’t think I ever want to go back. Does anyone know what I’m talking about? That freedom in just finding that calm within yourself and being done with literally everything and everyone else? Idk, I think I kinda like it. Maybe this is what peace feels like.