I was sexually abuse when I was 4 then again by someone else when I was 6. I kept this a secret because I was embarrassed , I felt shame, I kept blaming myself. Throughout, highschool I used drugs to cope mostly mdma and acid. 

The first person I told was my ex. He pretty much coerced me to tell him “what’s wrong with me” ended up manipulating me because of it. We broke up. I told my parents and started going to therapy. 

I’ve been in therapy for about 7 months now on and off but I feel like every therapist I’ve seen don’t really care about me. I want to heal on my own. So if anyone as advice, I deeply appreciate it. 