Me and this girl were friends, i have bpd ,she is bipolar. We would often support each other given that we were the only ones in our group of friends with personal experience about the subject. But the friendship turned toxic. She was overwhelming and demanding, but would lack empathy towards me.
She became more toxic when she had a conflict with a friend of mine and i chose not to take sides. Me not being on her side was taken as me being against her.
She said many things about my friend and other friends in our group. Not very nice things regarding honesty, loyalty, being open towards one another, etc.
That conversation felt like a trap, so I didn't say much.
Fast-forward a year after that. I'm not friends with any of the people on that group, i felt like the disposable friend among + the things she said.( She is still friends with them)
And now I'm noticing the things about the friend she had a conflict with. Basically, we don't hold our friendships at the same level and it hurts me to say i put more effort than her.
One of the reasons my toxic friend ditched us us the level of effort we put in our friendship.
Here i am now, experiencing all the things she did. Feeling like I give more than i get.

I'm feeling so many things and I don't know how to articulate them. 
One thing is sure, if she were to apologize to me, i wouldn't accept the friendship. She was right and as messed up as i was, but she treated me like a punching bag. I miss how direct and honest she was, but I don't miss how savage and hurtful she was. 

She was right about the negative traits of people we know, but she wasn't right on the way she treated me or the situation.