I've been seeing counselors and psychiatrists for probably 5 years or so for depression, anxiety, inattentiveness and so on. I'm a second year university student and last semester I had to withdraw from my classes because I could not leave my apartment and go to class or work. It was only recently that I found out about BPD, which seems like it's been the missing key for so long, I relate to absolutely everything that everyone is saying here. I had a psychiatrist appointment this morning and was kind of excited to talk to my psychiatrist about it, maybe I could finally get some help or at least a firm diagnoses or even just her thoughts on it. Instead, she basically just told me that it wasn't treatable with medication and that I should go see a counselor about it. I asked if it's diagnosed and she said that it has a lot to do with your social interactions and that it's more common in women (I'm a male) and that was basically that.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I was hoping something good would come from this appointment but absolutely nothing has. I started out this semester okay but I've been skipping class and going in to work late or leaving early because I couldn't even think straight. The suicidal thoughts that I've only ever head on anti-depressants (not on anymore) have started tricking into my normal thought processes. I really honestly don't feel like I can go on living like this every single day. I don't know what to even do at this point.

Update: I went to the university counseling center and scheduled a same day appointment. They took it very seriously and are going to work to get me into weekly therapy and help me work with my professors to help me stay in classes this semester. Tomorrow I'm going in to be seeing a licensed psychologist (the one I saw today was a student studying for her doctorate) who will hopefully get to work with me some more and come up with a firm diagnoses and plan. Thank you everyone for the support, I really appreciate it! I wish everyone the best of luck in their journeys.