im hurt because i idolized him in my mind, and i allowed him to see how much i idolized him. now i feel violated, when it's all because i let him in and expected nothing but god.

does that make sense?

It's so painful to look back and see how i bragged about him to everyone, INCLUDING him, and then seeing how bad he hurt me. I feel so stupid... like i never want to have expectations again. I can't believe i allowed him to see how i saw him through my eyes and he still fucked it up. just embarrassing.