I started Lamotrigine two weeks ago on 25mg, but my doctor just raised it to 50mg.

Personally, i’ve been feeling really really bad, and I think it has something to do with quarantine allowing me to be alone with my thoughts too long but i’m not sure. 

My head hurts everyday, I personally feel like crying at least 3 times a day, and I can’t get any school work done, even when my professors give me extensions.

I have just been so upset lately and I don’t know how long I can deal with it. My suicidal thoughts have been running rapidly and I really don’t know how I can make them stop. I geniunely feel like my FP doesn’t give fuck about me despite everything they’ve said and I no longer feel good enough for anyone.

I haven’t attempted in over a year, but that is because I live with my parents for the time being until I can find a place of my own in the nearby city. My parents are in their 60s and have various health problems ranging from surviving cancer to simple arthritis. My mom deals with OCD, depressiom, and anxiety and I really am scared an attempt could push her over the edge into mania, as stress does that to her.

I don’t know how to feel on Lamotrigine or if this is normal.