So yesterday I had a small victory that I thought I would share. 

I deal with a lot of anxiety and have been dealing with a flareup in panic attacks, most likely due to my starting a new job and the prospect of the birth of my second child. 

I've upped my medication since last week when I had my first, full bore, knock me on my ass panic attack in a few months. 

Yesterday, I spent the whole afternoon alone with my 2-year old while my wife had to go to her pre-natal appointment. 

In the past, spending solo time with my daughter has sometimes been the cause of anxiety, as my mind starts going down the whole "what if I have a panic attack and I can't take care of my baby" spiral of shame and fear. 

We didn't do anything special. We baked cookies together, and made pasta, salad and chicken for her supper. We went on a walk and to the park. I did some more cooking while she ate dinner and watched Daniel Tiger. I gave her a bath, got her into PJs, sang her some songs, read some stories and put her to sleep. 

As I write this I am tearing up with gratitude. I know that just a few days ago, and maybe a few days from now, this afternoon would be a painful challenge. 

Yesterday though, I just enjoyed an afternoon with my daughter. Please don't take these sorts of things for granted. I certainly don't. 

It's the small victories.