I am unable to take my medication that doesn’t make me sleep because I need to return to the doctor before my pharmacy will give me my medication. It’s been four days and now I am afraid of everything. I work in a field where I am interacting with drug addicts, violent offenders, and people with narcissistic tendencies. I try to help but I can only do so much. Everyone is watching my every move and analyzing me any chance they can get. I pretend that it’s not giving me stress and I play well into that role. 

A coworker told me that she notices that I have a lot of anxiety. No matter how hard I try to hide it, they see it, and she went out of her way to make that known. I feel she underestimates me and is projecting her own fears onto me. When I expressed that, she denies it and she denies that she has any anxiety what do ever. She is the one who treats the people we work with so poorly that it causes them a significant amount of stress.  Even our co workers have noticed. 

I have already felt I was “under a microscope” and her pointing this morning did not help. Usually I don’t let her bother me but this time is different. She made me feel my progress was in vain. Everything I have worked toward to be where I am at today is falling apart. I can’t take my meds and my obsessive thoughts about food and my weight are coming back. I don’t want to eat and when I try, I can only take a few bites before I get sick.