It’s been a long depressing lonely two years by myself and I finally found  the best girl I’ve ever know. We been talking everyday day all day since January but I was chilling with her a few days ago and I ruined everything I had with here in a matter of minutes. I seen that a boy was FaceTiming her and texting her while I was with her at 11:58pm. So I asked her who is that and why is he texting you but she for really defensive . So I grabbed her phone and typed her password in to see what’s going on and I see that she’s been texting this boy the same time she’s been texting me. It’s nothing crazy she’s texting him but I get so mad I start choking her aggressively and yelling at her right. It was really bad and I’ve literally never been that anger or did something like that to anybody especially a girl. She’s already dealt with a long abusive relationship so after I did this she told me to never talk to her again and I think she’s actually serious. I can’t believe I did this to her and I can’t believe I lost her because I couldn’t control myself. It’s been two days and I think about her everyday and I keep having dreams about her being with other boys. I feel like I’m obsessed with her and it makes it so much worse that I ruined it for myself. The best thing I can hope for is she give me a second chance but I’m not hoping on it. It was hard enough being along and depressed but not I gotta go back to being along and depressed while trying to get over the fact that I just abused the most amazing girl I ever had in my entire life and she’s gone because of my actions.