I have been taking meds consistently for over 10 years now, and even with meds I've still ended up in the hospital for mania and even psychosis. My mania is very serious. I've ended up in jail because of it (and because I was in a state with shitty mental health care and that's where they housed people). I feel like I can't go without meds due to the severity of the mania and sometimes psychosis, and so I get nervous whenever I have issues making a doctors appointment or getting a prescription filled.

The meds are my most powerful tool in preventing mania, that and sobriety. Even still, it can happen sometimes, it's just hard not to live in fear. My doctor once told me, and probably shouldn't have, but it was the truth, that mania can happen at any time for no apparent reason.

So yeah. that sucks. Just venting.