I never wanted to do engineering, I was forced to, my parents won't listen to me. I wanted to pursue fine arts, they never get me, I completely understood their concern and everything, but they want me to do engineering.

Now I'm in the second year of engineering.

I hate it, I hate it here, I try so hard to score marks, but I fail so horribly, it is starting to affect me in a way that it shouldn't be.

I can't sleep properly, I'm afraid to talk to people, I can't study all I wanna do is sketching and painting, I'm having anxiety attacks, mental breakdowns, my self esteem is done for, I tried talking to my friends on phone but it's just a momentarily relief. I'm feel like the world around me is crippling, I want to talk to my parents, but they won't listen to me, I'm sure, I'm scared for the first time in my life. I'm having really bad thoughts that never occured to me.

Nothing makes sense here. I wanna go home.