Just gonna put this out there, I have not been officially diagnosed with bpd or bpd traits. I tried for a while to receive a diagnosis, but for reasons I don't feel comfortable sharing, I haven't been taken seriously.  Psychologists, therapists, and counselors have  just put it off as ptsd or part of my mood disorder, so I've given up on getting the diagnosis. I have high confidence (I love people and can start a conversation with anyone, I can also be somewhat charismatic), but very low self esteem. I remember being young and being full of life and energy, extremely self assured, and high on life. Once my bipolar made its presence known, and I actually started to realize that I would be dealing with this for the rest of my life, it was a major blow to my self esteem and confidence. Mental illness became my identity, I started pushing away friends with my bullshit and did some pretty messed up things. I started therapy about 2 years ago and I've made a lot of progress, I have my confidence back and I have somewhat improved my self esteem with mindfulness and realizing my strengths; and viewing my negative traits in an objective way (they are areas I can improve on, they don't make me a shitty person). I have helped with fears of betrayal and possessiveness by adopting the mindset that if my partner betrays my trust or willingly crosses a major boundary, they aren't a partner worth keeping. I still However, have major issues with codependency, it's pretty bad. I think about my partner all the time, I have nothing to look forward to every week but making the  1 and a half hour drive to see her, when I'm with her it doesn't feel like I'm about to explode from inner tension, I don't feel empty, and I actually can relax. The feelings I get from being with her make me feel better. I want to have a better sense of inner wellbeing instead of relying on love and affection from my partner to make me feel better, I want to feel better on my own so I don't need a partner to fill the void inside me, it will also help me have healthier relationships.