I was a prostitute for 15 years, self harm, addiction etc. I'm now 51. He's 15 years older, unresolved grief problems, alcoholism, bipolar. I'd had enough working, my father died, my rented home put on the market, my pet died. I left my best friend to find his own arrangements. We moved into his 93yo mothers house temporarily.  First sign of her dementia shortly after moving in. Within a few days probably. It got worse . He became floridly manic and when she was taken away in an ambulance he was told to leave the room. We eventually managed to get her into memory care from the hospital. I would sometimes have to drive him to visit her because he was too drunk. We moved into a nice house that he bought with his money.  I smoke weed and stare at a computer every day now. He drinks and talks on the phone constantly or does things around the house. I gave up doing anything except the cooking, because nothing I do is good enough. He doesn't want my help. I don't know wtf to do. I woke up this morning feeling extremely down and dissociated. I don't have any friends.  I used to paint before my father died.  I was supposed to grocery shop hours ago. Here I am. This is only a fraction of what troubles me. Mental health help is only available if I'm non white and living in a low decile area.