does anyone else have that thing where you meet someone and immediately put them on your social ladder. they’re either way above you and really awesome, special and someone to look up to (idealisation) or they’re pathetic and i hate them and have no respect at all for them (demonising).

i’m having some trouble with demonising the brother of my boyfriend. i disliked him since the first time i met him and i find it really hard to get over it and act fucking normal (sorry for my language but i’m a bit frustrated).

literally everything he does is annoying and i just get really salty when my boyfriend is talking about him etc. i already talked about demonising/idealising people with my therapist bcs i do it a lot.  she said that i have to try to have a more nuanced/neutral look on people and not only see the positive/negative side of people when i meet them. but i feel like that’s not really advice i can do anything with because it seems like it’s impossible to have a neutral view on the world/on people.

it’s really frustrating that every time i just hear the name of my boyfriends brother or if he tells me anything about his brother i get really annoyed and can even get extremely angry and even cause a tantrum (depends on how i’m feeling, if i’m alrdy feeling edgy and he starts talking about his brother that could be the trigger to cause a tantrum)...

does anyone else experience this? hating someone without an actual reason and really not being able to get over it??? how do you control/neutralise these feelings? i know that this may sound childish and that some of you think just deal with it like an adult but i can’t really ‘unfeel’ these emotions.