Hi. I'm 18 and I have bipolar 1 and spd. For the majority of my life I was very quiet and antisocial kid, but also very sadistic. I used to treat my family like crap, torture small animals(like bugs etc.), because I love to make people suffer. Also, I'm manipulating a lot. Most of my life I was lying to people around me to achieve my personal goals. This things are the same for today, but I started to get these werid episodes in which I have very disorganized and also very rapid speech and thoughts in which I don't control myself at all. And I'm getting EXTREMELY aggressive. I'm starting to break stuff, beat my pets, my mother, scream so loud that my neighbors can perfectly hear it. It's happening at least 4-5 times a week and my family is really suffering, but I don't know why but I don't care about them and I have these werid (delusion I think) in my head that's I want to be the supreme ruler of the world and a bloody dictator. Any advice what may trigger this episodes? Some kind of symptoms of my disorders, or something yet undiagnosed? Sorry for bad English, I'm from Ukraine.