I usually act tough and say, “I’m not lonely—just alone”, but last weekend I was at the movie theaters by myself and got really sad. I always do everything alone. Always have. They say the key to finding someone is being comfortable with your own self first—and I do that consistently, but nothing ever comes. 

&amp; my borderline brain is like “idk why you’re stressing that feeling. It’s fleeting; even if you had a relationship, it’d go to hell like all the others” 

At least that fact pulls me out of it.
But still, I found myself nearly crying while watching trailers for movies that weren’t even sad. Just emotionally raw and finding out I have BPD during a pandemic, no less…it’s just all been a lot on my emotions..