Is anyone here polyamorous? Do you find it works with, or against your BPD? 

I’ve personally found it so healing to live my life like this. I have so much love in my heart; I don’t have to choose who to give it to, it chooses itself &amp; if they accept then we are happy as birds. 

My backstory on polyamory is also like a **Favourite Person Love Story** &amp; i really don’t want to give a false impression or hope to people with current FP’s who are toxic/have been cut off, cuz this is kinda rare, but... I’ve been polyam going on 3 years now; it started super messy, in classic unstable-relationship-criteria style with me begging my (then) boyfriend to consider polyamory with me. Our relationship had been so turbulent at some points, mostly smooth, but I had a FP who I was madly in love with who had dropped contact with me some months before I started the relationship. I knew when it started I wanted to be poly, but this guy was old school &amp; I was trying to forget my crush, &amp; my crushed heart. We had a great relationship, I miss him a lot but I did what many people consider unforgivable, and I cheated on him 2 years into the relationship. After a few months of being stone/walled about polyamory, I felt defeated. I was in a depressive hole. Suicidal &amp; even has been to the psych ward for 3 weeks, with my boyfriend by my side the whole way. 
           Then my FP came back into my life, like some crazy whirlwind we were exactly like we had been 2.5 years ago. Blah blah blah, I broke my own heart by cheating on boyfriend, and knowing in my heart even though I wanted to fix things I *needed* to live polyamorously. It took my FP  many months to come around to dating me, I didn’t beg, I didn’t go crazy. I waited. I loved him from afar for so long I could not let myself fuck it up. Again. 

We have been dating for nearly 3 years, &amp; I have had, and have currently, another boyfriend. I feel so free. I feel like I can be myself, it regulates all my BPD relationship-crushing tendencies. &amp; my partner is *no longer* my Favourite Person, a word I feel is a dehumanising &amp; softened version of what is: an unhealthy obsession. I no longer feel the obsessive need to be validated by one person by accepting so much love into my life. It has truly healed me more than any therapy could.