I keep hurting the person I love the most. They finally broke down saying I've traumatized them and they've been feeling on edge for months, panicking when they don't reply to my messages because I might spiral. They know that I suffer from BPD but they cannot take it anymore. I don't want our relationship to end, but it feels best if they leave. I will not tell them to break up with me but I know where this is going. It hurts so much and I don't know how to fix anything anymore. I hate this. I want to feel like a healthy person, I don't want to lose my shit every time something goes slightly wrong, hurting myself and others even more. I understand the reddit posts here where they regret letting anyone close. It's too late now, I don't know what I'll do if they leave, but seeing them get hurt every single day is torture.