It seems like an impossible mountain to climb. I try connecting with people, making new friends. But every time I do it dies, stillborn. Every time I do, it seems to take a little piece of me with it. I've been hurt so many times that I legitimately can't anymore. I'm scared to, I can barely talk to people I don't know well anymore. When people talk to me it's like a sneak attack, I'm so caught off guard I have a hard time thinking of what to say. Meanwhile I go out of my way to avoid people, I have very few friends and I don't think I can keep going anymore. I want to die. I think about ending it nonstop. I feel like an open wound, raw and festering. Sorry if I'm rambling pointlessly, my friend I usually talk to really doesn't understand and at this point I'm afraid to talk to him about it.