No matter who I meet or talk to in person or online. Most people give me a look my bullies gave me growing up. The conversations and topics are coincidentally repeating. I'm starting to think there is a gossip blog about me out there, and that I have no chance to let my past go, grow up evolve or learn from. I feel because I'm always at a disadvantage. I'm either manipulated and used for amusement. Or Catfished. Life is getting to the point where I am believing that I can't trust anyone. I can't Open up to anyone. Never let my hair down, relax or ever enjoy myself. I am very depressed. I have been given all the advice, I've put it into practice. I am happy, but I'm not happy. If this continues and keeps me from living a normal life. Then i will start making peace with myself. I'm cute handsome great personality. But I don't fit in, I don't belong, I'm socially awkward, and a huge nerd. I am alone... So alone. And everyday my heart breaks more and more.