CW: suicidality, overdoses, etc.

Over the last month, I've been growing close to someone that I think I'd like to date, and he's also interested in me. I think I'm far enough into BPD remission to have a healthy relationship, but I'm slightly worried that a relationship could make my symptoms worse. 

For a bit of background, prior to the COVID pandemic, I was having suicidal meltdowns, reckless behavior, and overdoses multiple times a week. Those destroyed most of my close friendships with people I relied on for emotional support, and it really hurt my relationship with the person I was dating at that time. 

Once the COVID pandemic started, I was sort of forced by the solitude of not having a quarantine pod and living alone to work on myself. As of the last 6 months or so, I no longer spiral out in the evenings, I feel passionate about my work and hobbies, and I've rebuilt a few really solid friendships.  Perhaps most importantly, as of the last few months my current friendships are not predicated on intense emotional support. Unless I miss my medication for some reason, I don't feel suicidal or have reckless. behaviors. Sometimes I get depressed for a few days, but it hasn't been anything that binging Netflix can't solve.

I noticed some BPD symptoms come back when I started being sweet with this friend that I'm interested in dating. Even though we are moving really slowly, I think about him many hours a day and have to fight myself not to idealize our relationship or feel fear that he'll decide I'm not worth being with. It's complicated further by the fact that a friend who has been proximate to me when I was at my worst warned him about some of my behaviors when I spiraled out in the past and told him we shouldn't be romantic, so it feels like at any moment he could decide not to give me a chance at growth. On the other hand, I set a firm boundary with him that I don't want him to be my primary (or even secondary, etc) emotional support person.

TL;DR - After about a year with very few meltdowns and only one self-harm incident, I think I'm ready to date, but I'm worried that dating right now could cause me to relapse. Advice?

Any advice on 1) knowing when you're ready to date with BPD, 2) navigating obsessive thoughts and idealization, and 3) navigating fear of abandonment?