I just cant rap my head around what I did to deserve this.  My Life just keep getting worse and so does my depression is getting worse. I feel like im one bad day away from killing myself, and I've had a bad day for 4 years straight. Everyday is fucking hell. Its like I've been buried alive in a pit and I cant dig myself out, and when I try to dig myself out, I end up sliding back down even further. Im fighting an uphill battle and I don't know why. What's there point of dealing with this shit if I don't have to? When I try to be positive and I have faith, things just end getting 100x worse, and I make myself look stupid. Its like Goes just laughing and mocking me. Im only 22 but my whole life has been nothing but hell. Ive had severe depression since I was 15 and its only getting worse. Im pretty sure ill end up killing myself at this point. Why did God give me such a shitty life? Im fucking tired. Ive literally never done anything to anyone. Even with all the evil people in the world God chooses to mess with and torment me. Im just fucking cursed.