Everything in my life seems too fleeting or too permanent and nothing makes me happy.

Right now I work a job that is related to what I studied at uni but I just feel constant, low-level stress along with the overwhelming feeling that I'm no good at it and I don't enjoy. But I know if I went back to doing cleaning or retail again, that wouldn't make me feel happy or fulfilled either.

I have some friends but it feels like every time we hang out, I feel a little more isolated from them. I don't know why. It's like I'm going through all the motions of having a good time but I'm not convinced i actually am. I'm super lonely but also find other people exhausting and dull (especially if it's someone I don't know - not ideal for trying to find a romantic partner). I honestly believe I'm not capable of romantic love but I really wish i was. It looks nice to have someone.

I can't stop smoking weed. I know it just makes me lazy and stupid and all I do is watch TV and put off doing anything productive but it's a shortcut to feeling happy (or at least it used to be). I'm going to try and not smoke for a while. I even watched a movie I LOVED the other day but it made me sad because life isn't like the movies. It's not satisfying and meaningful, or at least it doesn't feel this way.

I don't feel like I have anything in my life that gives it meaning and I'm too lazy or stupid to change it. 

Has anyone else experienced this? How did you deal with it? I'm just hoping that it will pass