I think people are disgusted of me and my life. I’m embarrassing due to my childhood abuse

Growing up was terrible for me. Father was emotionally abusive and drug user. Mother couldn’t afford to leave and he physically abused her. I had to start working at a young age to help provide groceries since my father didn’t want to help support my family. He was either off cheating, doing pills, smashing things, and yelling. Sometimes he would throw knives at me and sharp objects. Threatened to kick out my mom sister and I to out to start a new family. But he tried to act like father of the year to his family and everyone believed him or excused his behavior. Even when he would force us to family events and my mom would have a black eye. 
I had to act like my moms husband and be her emotional and financial support. Also for my sister. I was ashamed of my life and grew up in a suburb with the normal families. Which fathers cared for their children, didn’t abuse them, and could just be kids. I had to grow up fast. I was bullied in high school and had really bad anxiety and depression with home and social life. Studying and grades were my only saving grace. I worked hard to get a good scholarship and leave for college out of state. Before I left for college, my father smashed everything in the house because the tv wasn’t working and called me a dumb bitch because I didn’t call the cable company fast enough. Even though it was maintenance going on. He was always very sexist and would belittle me because I was a girl. I then ran to the next train and haven’t spoken to him since. I still had to help give money to my mom and sister. It was taking a toll on my providing for myself and two other people. We had a big fight and didn’t talk for a month. During that time, she reconnected with a childhood friend that was also veing abused by his wife. They bonded and soon started to date. I don’t blame her. I always wanted my mother to leave my father to find a man that actually cares for her. I then found out my father began trying to choke my mother in her sleep and she knew one day he was going to kill her. My sister had to intervene and go on his back and stop him. Finally after another morning of abusive, she had the courage to call the cops and they arrested him. She now has a restraining order against him and he is facing a criminal trail soon for assault and battery. My sister is living at my aunt and uncles which she is happy with since she always liked my cousins better than me. She always put me down and the only thing that made her like me was money. We don’t talk now either. The only two people I have left in my life are my mom and her new boyfriend. I’ve know him my whole life and he’s very sweet. He’s been more of a dad to me than my sperm donor ever was. But sometimes I get treated like a third wheel with them. I do have my maternal grandmother but she is very sick and is more hostile since she’s gotten older. I have done well academically and financially. I have a good paying job and made some cool friends. I’ve also been trying to get into the dating scene. But I get scared because of my past. No one would want to be with a girl like me and my baggage :( my depression and axienty has been even worse. I feel inferior to people with normal parents. Like I’m the kid people don’t want their children hanging around because I’m from a poor and abusive household. I still carry that mentality. I do have one friend who knows the truth about my life and can relate since her parents are the same way. 
My problem is that I told another really close friend of mine about my past and I don’t want them to look at me any differently now. I regret it so much. I really hate myself. I don’t have the balls to kill myself but sometimes I think the world would be a better off without me. I’m a waste of space