I'm sad. Sadder than I've ever been in my life. I'm turning 40 this year and I don't want to live that long. I don't want to see that day. I hate all my friends. My job is at square one like it's been since I was 20. My relationship is having problems. I am fat. I most likely got coronavirus. What the fuck is all of this? I failed. I can't deal with this. I am so sad I have lost the words to describe it. Why? When will it stop?