How do you do it?

I suffer from agitated depression, panic disorder, and they're still in the air regarding Bipolar T2. I was in a relationship for 6 years with my now ex-boyfriend, and the determining factor in him leaving me was that I was too much to handle.

While I can understand that as an issue and he is valid in every right to feel this is not something he wishes to deal with, I feel very hurt that he and his family made personal attacks against me for things out of my control. They criticized my general state of wellbeing, ridiculed me for having anxiety and being timid to try new things, and referred to me as a broken person.

I **get** the frustration I dealing with somebody who has so many hang ups and mini-meltdowns, however I feel like it is very unfair to be spoken to/about in that way. These are legitimate health issues. Also, I wasn't oblivious to my issues and frequently voiced that I felt off and needed help decoding my unwarranted panic thoughts, to which he rarely supported me...and he also blames me for that.

I just don't get it and I'm having a very hard time letting go of my anger and hurt. My boss is also a pastor and he said the first thing I need to do is forgive myself, then forgive him and let it all go.

...I just don't know. I've also had friends heavily criticize me and distance themselves when I express that I am having obsessive thoughts and anxiety over something. I admit to them I am struggling with moving on from these thoughts and they insist I 'just move on' and get upset when I can't.

Feeling real frustrated.