I have an extremely avoidant attachment style. I overthink, catastrophize and ruminate on every interaction I have with other people. This makes me very anxious around others and I am pretty much in a constant state of being “on edge” and irritated when I’m around other people. I always feel like I’m doing or saying something wrong or acting “weird” or off-putting. This is extremely mentally taxing for me. 

I feel like it is no longer worth it to try to maintain or start relationships because it is so mentally draining for me. I am naturally an introverted person and prefer to be alone. So now I am now at a place where I’ve kind of accepted or maybe convinced myself that because it is so difficult and draining for me to maintain healthy relationships, the best thing for me to do is just leave people alone, for their sake AND mine. I am inconsistent, a poor communicator and all around have a bad attitude. I’m very aware of how I act but it’s very difficult for me to change and now I just prefer to be alone 99% of the time so as to spare myself and others from the drama that is my personality. 

I’ve recently begun saving up to buy a small house in a small town in a new state away from all of my family and friends so that I have an excuse to not come around as often. I don’t plan on making any new friends or forming any new relationships in this new state. Just me and my cats. Anyone else become a “hermit” as a result of the attachment issues that come with this disorder?