1. Lifelong maladaptive daydreaming. I guess I started daydreaming from the day I started to walk. It was a big secret of my life. I was so consumed by my daydreaming that I did not even realize what I was doing wrong. 

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2. Dissociation and being carried away. I almost always have a scene playing in my mental eye. I always imagine certain reactions from people: pity, sympathy, love, etc. Music and songs exaggerate these images. 

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3. I already feel my emotions too intense. Songs exaggerate that intensity. 

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4. Mindfulness and awareness. I am only here in the present moment. 

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5. Chronic rumination and mental rehearsal of conversations. I guess I have done it since childhood too. It was a defense mechanism. I was always hyper alert. I ruminated on the same conversations again and again every day for months. I was not aware I was doing it because it was an addiction. 

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6. Not having a safe and loving connection with my caretakers, being exposed to harsh environment at home, being told everything was normal and lack of self awareness took a toll on me. Music and songs were my no 1 self destructive tools. I can't recall the countless hours I spent dancing, crying, repeating same song and maladaptive daydreaming. 

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I want mental peace and life without distractions is so much simpler.