I don't know, I don't even know what to say here in all honesty. I've been alone for so long I can't even talk to anyone. Not even just romantic loneliness (I've never been loved) but loneliness in general. I don't even have friends.

I've also been feeling extremely suicidal lately, I can't take this total isolation anymore. Even if I have an opportunity to talk to someone at all, I can barely even manage to form a sentence. Never mind a girl. Stutter, stutter fkn stutter. Even if I have something in mind I find it so difficult to actually say it. Who on earth would have the patience to listen to me? Even if I tried to talk to someone how could they ever be attracted to me? I can't even talk to them properly.

I'm so crippled with anxiety I can't even go outside or talk to someone online anymore. Sure I'll comment here and there, but I can't actually have a conversation or form any kind of friendship and relationship.

I’ve tried everything in person dating apps I get the numbers and then they just ghost me. I look around and see couples holding hands cuddling and so on and I just come back to my place alone and I’m  thinking of ending it soon not because