How do abusive relationships come to be?  An abuser lures a person in with lies and deceit, pretending to be something else, and then over years and years, slowly transitions into more abuse, more pain, taking more advantage of the person, while simultaneously making them more dependent, more disconnected, less and less able to help themselves.

Such is life.  We begin life being told we're great, we can grow into anything we want to, that the world is full of possibility, that everyone should be fair and thoughtful.  Typical early childhood propaganda.  And then, over the course of 20 years from 5 to 25, reality gradually peels off the many layered mask it has on, revealing little by little how much injustice, corruption, malice, and suffering really constitutes every day life.  Each little disappointment or "adjustment of expectations" feels manageable, until you look back at them all to see just how far reality has deviated from what we all know life could be like, and thought it would be like when we were younger.  But by this point we're invested, we've put so much time into studying, into meeting people, into trying to get jobs so we can pay the bills that allow us to work jobs.  We can't just cash out and start over in a different universe.

It's textbook abusive relationship, I don't blame anyone who feels lied to, trapped in their current situation, and miserable for the future.