This girl and I have been kind of off and on again since the beginning of 2021, we’ve broken up before because of our mental health issues and the second time because I wasn’t willing to help her or be there for her and I felt like absolute shit because I felt like I couldn’t handle it. We recently started talking again and seeing each other, and we’ve both changed a bit and right now I’m starting to see a therapist to help with myself, and she’s definitely gotten better from what I can tell. However, there is a huge fucking problem. I was bringing her some stuff from the store, and then she hugged me and said she missed me, but then I felt bad, almost like I didn’t but I said it back anyways. This caused a bad thought to pop into my head: “Do I really miss her? Do I even actually care about her? I mean I did hurt her before, why wouldn’t I be the same and hurt her again.” That night she asked me if this is what I really want, to get back together, and then I thought about it, but doubts started coming into my mind because of the past. All of a sudden, my entire life turned upside down. I kept doubting my feelings for her, then the next day at work, all I could think about was just “did I lose feelings?”. It felt really nice seeing her again, and we even kissed again, but then I went ahead and I have been stuck in a terrible just absolutely horrible spiral and I don’t know what’s real anymore. I’m genuinely terrified. I have been thinking about this nonstop for the past 6 days or so, and it’s only getting worse. It’s the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep. I cannot stop thinking about it and googling what is wrong with me, and I feel like I’ve genuinely convinced myself that I don’t like her because of my overthinking if my doubts and I’m just spiraling out of control. I feel like I’ve taken our past, thought about it so much that it’s been warped, and now I’m just fucking scared. I don’t know what to do. I saw her the other night, and I felt absolutely nothing but pure anxiety, I felt nothing. Right now I don’t even know who she is, I can barely even think of that. I am just absolutely spiraling out of control and I am so fucking overwhelmed and I need help, I need my mind to just stop thinking and become reversed because I really don’t want to fuck this up and lose a great girl. I have barely eaten and spent no times doing hobbies, and I am so stressed out. Does anyone have any advice?