I literally don’t know what came over me today. I came home in a horrible mood, had a complete breakdown. Starting hitting myself and practically pulling my hair, feeling like I’m going insane. I try to calm myself down and now I’m just painting my nails to distract myself. I isolated myself from everyone in order to not go through any emotional disturbances but it just doesn’t work. If I’m not doing it to others I’m doing it to myself. I feel a depressive episode coming on. I’ve had only 2 meals the past 3 days. I’m so fucking tired of everything. 

The worst part of it is that I have absolutely no one to call. I either cut off everyone from my life or caused them to leave. I fucking hate this disorder.