Like one tiny trigger and I’m gone in rage in my head consuming me in seconds. Spazzing around on the ground alone just trying not to scream or break something. It’s like my emotions just turn up to 11 and I can’t handle it and either like immediately turn into a fucking monster and destroy shit mindlessly or I cry and convulsed trying to control myself? is this normal? or relatively normal? I have been trying to go the therapy for years but I have terrible health insurance from the State ( for people in poverty) and the only therapist nearby cancels my appointments anytime it snows. I should be seeing her at least twice a week but i only end up seeing her twice a month. It makes me ducking hate her and not wanna help her because just like all the rest of them She obviously just doesn’t give a shit. I feel bad about the rant - no one will probably read this. I’m just so lonely I don’t feel like I have anyone to talk to