So I’m in a relationship and it’s my first one that serious and long term. I have discovered that I have extreme relationship anxiety that makes me question EVERYTHING. It’s like a voice in my head that make me doubt even a change in tone. I, at times, come off as toxic because I question everything and sometimes even get manipulative so I can get attention from him that I feel like I’m not getting. I recognize this and apologize often because I say things that I am aware are not right. He always tells me that it’s okay but I get frustrated because I know it’s not okay and I hate how my brain works and treats him. It’s like I want him to react but not get mad at me. It’s weird. I guess this a rant post but with also a question. 

Does anybody know to deal with this type of anxiety?
I sometimes get anxiety attacks just thinking about him and even how I treat him because I feel like he’s gonna leave me. Even though he always reassures me that I’m the one. I know this stems from childhood and how I’ve seen adults (especially females) be treated throughout their lives but this anxiety has never manifested entirely because it’s the first time I’m in a serious relationship