I’ve recently been really nostalgic thinking about all the cool things that happened in the early and mid 2010s (all the show’s, bands, films that sort) I was watching teen dystopian films like hunger games and while some weren’t really good I thought about how easy life was back then and that my life would never be that good again until i suddenly remembered that my life was actually always awful. Parents at each other’s throats, constantly bullied and hated by people at school, friends who stabbed me in the back, never getting the chance to express myself the way I wanted, never got to see all the cool bands i would have loved to see, never got to have group of childhood friends who would be with me forever. 
My life has always been terrible and it’s never really improved. Now im back with my dysfunctional family having to hide who I am and having no sense of privacy or identity, constantly stuff long hard to find work in something In my field and in a band that probably won’t go anywhere despite me putting my all into 
I have all of these qualifications and all of this time And work I put in and wasted and got nothing back from it. My own dad thinks it’s a waste of my time. Meanwhile everyone I know from school college and uni have surpassed e in so many different and are happy with their perfect jobs and their perfect boyfriends and their perfect childhoods. I never got that and I’ll never get that and it’s going to end in fucking misery as always