Throwaway account. 

As the title says, my girlfriend may have cheated on me. Earlier this year she met with someone to have sex but claims she didn’t. I forgave her for it and moved on in our relationship. She agreed to have her Snapchat location on, which only updates whenever she gets on Snapchat. I really do trust her now because we both weren’t on the same level of maturity with our relationship at the time of the incident. She said she was having a rough time with life and felt her old fwb would help her escape it but she couldn’t do it. We both have our locations on in case something bad happens, she is a smaller woman so it scares me when she’s by herself sometimes. 

Fast forward to tonight. We both work at the same job. She worked the morning shift and I closed. She hung out with our mutual work friend we’ll call “Nicky.” Earlier that day I jokingly turned on her Apple location to which she has no problem with and she goes to nickys house and they’re joking around and turn it off and her Snapchat location off to see how long it takes me to notice. I open my phone to text my girlfriend and see she turned it off and check Snapchat and see the same thing. She calls me and we have a good laugh about it. 

They come to work with their dogs to say hi and what not. They leave. I call girlfriend at ~10:15 to talk about something that happened at work, no answer, no biggie. I get off at 11:15 and see a text from her brother asking if she was with me because he needed a ride home I said no she’s with Nicky, but she hasn’t been answering me. I call Nicky and find out after they both left work, girlfriend dropped Nicky off and left. That was well over an hour ago. 

My anxiety immediately kicks in full gear and I begin to freak out. About 20 minutes later girlfriend calls me and tells here’s how the conversation goes: 
M=Me
GF=Girlfriend
N=Nicky
Bro=Brother

M: Wyd
Gf: Omw to pick up bro
M: Are you just now leaving N’s?
GF: No I left a little bit ago 
M: Well where’d you go?
GF: I stopped at a park with Ollie (her dog) to walk him. I kinda was in my feelings and left my phone in my car. 

I start internally freaking out asking why she did this at 11 at night when it’s 45 degrees outside. She kind of snaps back and asks why the first the my mind goes to is her with another person. I tell her that it wasn’t that, i just don’t immediately think “oh she might be walking her dog” at 11 pm. 

I’ve never had super bad anxiety until I found out about her previous incident. I’ll never know if she cheated because her location was off and she didn’t answer her phone. I just sat in my car for 10 minutes balling my eyes out because I’m at war with myself. 

I’m sorry if this seems all over the place, my mind is still numb. As the flair states this is just me venting, I felt like I needed to tell someone.