I've tried therapy over and over through the years, but I feel like no therapist is ever "equipped" to deal with my issues. CBT has helped a tiny bit when I'm in a major depression, but other than that it feels like I'm too severe. I know that it's possible I'm just too picky, but it legitimately ends up feeling like the therapy I'm doing could only help someone with just moderate anxiety or something and it's hopeless. 

The biggest problem is that I've never had great insurance, am currently on Medicaid and can't really afford to pay even a sliding scale fee if I could find a decent therapist who accepts that. So that's obviously a huge issue, but even with that aside it seems like it's hard to find a therapist who's actually experienced with PDs and more severe mental illness. I know a therapist who does DBT would be a good place to start, but those are really rare around here. I've also tried using therapist searches online, but it's like therapists will just list a ton of conditions/types of therapy as their supposed specializations, then in reality just want to do basic CBT or something. 

Does anyone have any suggestions for finding a good therapist, without wasting a bunch of time trying one after another? Also, has anyone ever found a decent therapist who took pro bono patients? I've read online that all therapists are supposed to have a few pro bono slots, but I feel like I'll sound like an ass asking them or they'll think I'm crazy.

Also another question for those who have done therapy, will a therapist treat BPD without giving an official diagnosis? I know treatments overlap, but will they keep BPD in mind and try to sort of target those issues, without writing the diagnosis? I'm terrified of risking not being able to get treatment in the future because of a BPD diagnosis in my record, and I wonder whether there's any chance a therapist would understand that.