i just wanted to post how i’ve been feeling. I don’t want no sympathy, i don’t want no remorse, just an insight of my life. 

i’ve been depressed ever since my siblings started separating me. none with wrong that but i just wish they would involve me with more things. i do not feel love when i’m with them, and i live w them. i’m 19 years old and got 2 siblings, one twin brother (fraternal) and my older sister. i love them both regardless of what they do or say to me. i genuinely love them, but it’s like all the people i love or i’m friends with, say the worst things to me. i have gotten used to it by now but i would never say some fucked up things to people even when i am mad at them. why can’t no one be like me? why take it so far, why go they extra distance to make it personal. not even just my siblings do this but everyone, my friends etc. is it because i am a bitch? am i too nice? why can’t they be nice like i am, doesn’t cost much to be nice at all so why do people suck at doing it? haven’t had a girlfriend ever, so i can’t even vent to a girl, i really have no one in my life to talk too. i am not suicidal, but i am very depressed, days become the same, they’re lame now.

only time i forget about shit like that is when i am with my friends, and they’re more like my brothers but even then it just makes me forget about it. at least they’re nice too me. seems like being nice in this world is a luxury. 

if only i was rich.