When I used to be high I felt like the greatest person. I can't say it was great, because I didn't really know differently. Now I'm medicated and I feel average. Don't get me wrong, average is good. Average is balanced. Average means I'm not pushing a million projects. Average means I can think about what I say. I can edit, I can stay on topic (well, most of the time). I can type short sentences. Short sentences are good. Seemingly, everything is coming up Milhouse.

But... I just have nothing. I talk to others and I just have nothing like them and what they're doing. I don't feel interesting. I don't have that many interests. I spend my time probably buried in TV or in books that could be considered self help. Or I'm finding new clothes that aren't so loud that it makes my medicated brain want to scream (a good amount of my previous closet was hypomania visualised).

I just... I am actually shallow and I don't know how to fix it. How do you fill up your cup again?