My heart hasn't healed, it's been around 10 months since it was broken by my first love.

Being in a relationship was the only time I've ever been happy. And I want that again, but I couldn't hold onto one with my current state of self. I wish very seriously that I could, but I don't even know if I'd be able to love them like I should, with my thoughts still so focused on my ex.

I'm so lonely, I wish I could be with someone, I want to look for someone, I want to love, to be loved.

Odd that my depression has latched onto romance so heavily, I have so much more I could be depressed about. And yet, this is all that concerns me these days: loneliness. The pit in my stomach, the weight in my chest. The loss of what I thought I was going to have. The person who no longer loves me. I feel so stupid. I hate that I still struggle. It's so pathetic, it's so... I feel worthless