I can't keep friends, dating leads nowhere, and overall the people in my life I feel that they can barely stand me and who I am. I message toxic/non toxic exes in the hope that someone will take me in and give me the love I was neglected of when I was younger but its met with ignorance or annoyance. So I turn to alcohol to numb the pain of being alone but it brings every traumatic event from the back of my brain to the front. Everything could be going great but if I don't have a romantic partner in my eyes none of it is worth it... I don't know what to do anymore