My brother died and I still can’t stop thinking about it. I miss him a lot even though we weren’t friends, we were only 3 years apart but I was an Otaku nerd while he messed around with gangs.  He always made fun of me and of my eating disorder, I was never cool in his eyes. When I started smoking weed and drinking he helped me hide it and also helped me obtain it. But he never wanted to be friends. 

I just saw his little league trophy, he really loved baseball. He took lessons and wanted to improve.

I’ve been drinking a lot, everyday in fact. I miss him. My parents will never recover. My sister won’t ever forgive us for letting it happen(she lived out of the house). It’s never going to go back to normal, normal was when I still had a brother.