Today I yelled at my cat just because he wanted pets, I never felt so low then in that moment. He didn’t deserve that, I just couldn’t. The house is a mess and it took every ounce of strength I had to take the trash out today. I am doing the best that I can and yet I still fail every day. I can’t tell you the last time I’ve bathed, the thought of showering exhaust me. I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others but my brother is sooooo successful and I can’t even save a $100 bucks a month. I morbidly obese and even though I know I need to stop over eating it’s like a sick compulsion I have and I can’t stop. Why can’t I stop, I’m killing myself and I just can’t stop. I either can’t sleep or I sleep to much. I know I shouldn’t beat myself up but trying to stay positive is exhausting, everything is exhausting. Will this ever get better?