I have had this thing ever since I took adderal a little over 2 years ago and then went off it shortly after because I was having horrible side effects which included hearing voices and seeing weird black things in my vision, and this thing where I have no idea what it is. Basically there is a traumatizing scenario that forces itself into my head and keeps pushing harder and harder trying to go as far as to make me feel I am actually in this situation where someone is abusing me and I can even feel physical sensations of it if when it's at its worst and I can only slightly force it away if I try hard and I have to put my mind on something else and strain myself to focus on that thing until the sensation is gone. I have no idea what kind of illness this would be and I have only seen vague answers searching for it online like some kind of anxiety disorder.