I know this probably won’t be important to most people, as a lot of people don’t see the allure to guns, but I grew up around them and they’ve been in my life a lot, with my grandpa, uncles, and father spending time with guns with me. A lot of fun memories. I’ve wanted to buy my own for years and years, and now that I can, I am afraid to, because I don’t want to have that way to kill myself. In my right mind, I know that killing yourself with a gun probably won’t succeed, or have an instant death, but my logic goes to shit, and I fantasize most about blowing my head off when I am depressed and it terrifies me. I’ve just wanted someone to tell this to, and idk where else to put this.