Whenever i sit and start thinking i keep realizing how lonely i am, i dont know whose fault it is but my friends are no longer considered friends.
I lost interest and they stopped talking to me and added new people to the "friend group", i didn't even try to hang on because i knew they're toxic.

I felt better without them and honestly, never actually considered them friends, i thought distancing myself will protect my feelings because i can't see them just leaving my life, i cant handle abandonments and i was scared i would get attached.

We haven't talked or seen each other for a long time now, two of them were considered close friends and we don't even say hello to each other.
Even my online friend stopped talking to me because of my own actions, i dont even blame her. 

I kinda feel i should just live alone, all by myself for the rest of my life. I'll always end up either hurting myself or others.

I didn't write this because i feel bad, i just feel empty, thought I'd let it out.