i'm 24. i've had depression for over half of my life now. funnily enough, when i thought i was at my worst i wasn't even close. as a teenager, though i thought i was in the worst place in the world, it was bearable. i had friends, i could go out into social environments (at the bare minimum, but still) and i can't help but wonder, if i had gotten help then, would i be in the same place now?

i've never had a job. i'm scared i never will. i've tried multiple times but it doesn't work out because it puts me in a worse place mentally. even just going on a day out wipes me out mentally and physically for days after. and as an adult, when people start to ask what i'm doing for a job, what do i say? that i'm too unstable to work? that i don't know whether i'll ever be able to work? i'm exhausted.

anyway, if you're reading this and in the same position, i hope you're doing okay today.