So like I want human connection but I also don’t like anyone and want to hide myself away from everyone. It feels like it’s because I hate everyone but deep down I really just hate myself and don’t think people deserve to be around me and deal with me. I think people in reality are totally okay and I just don’t want to be a burden on the people around me. I feel like no one enjoys to be around me and I don’t want to force myself on anyone. I’ve been wondering if I’m a narcissist cause I think about myself a lot. I wish everyone in my life would leave me alone because I don’t want to be a bad person towards them and hurt them. I don’t deserve to have human connection i’m way to flawed and messed up. Even writing this feels horrible I wish I wasn’t here.