Okay I do fantasize about a relationship with him or him asking me out but damn what I really want is a hug or to snuggle or suck his dick (and balls of course) and I'll be set for the rest of my life. Idc that its small (it is). Just one sack please. Idc that you look like you haven't brushed or cut ur hair since quarintine (please cut it) or that youve put on 30 pounds (i have too). 

He'd never like me though. He's never seen me as someone to be w just another one of his goofy ass friends. 

If it weren't for him having known me as an immature highschooler first i think we couldve been smth. And we're so compatible like we always have smth to talk about, some of our hobbies are the same, we both like our space and distance when it comes to relationships, I've only split on him twice these past four years, less than I've ever split on anyone. Even when he says smth annoying or triggering I just laugh bc it makes him seem more human--i almost can't hold anything against him. I think he'd be perfect for me but tbh I'm not perfect for him. I'm not even his type physically (i can work on that tho but if he's my soul motivator it won't be pretty) and I doubt i'll ever reach his level of confidence. He's just out of my league idk how hes been my friend for this long.