My SO is pretty supportive and understanding, and lately he's been going through some shit. Like a massive amount of seriously terribly stressful shit. And I've been very very supportive/helpful, sometimes to my detriment. Sometimes I give too much help though? I shouldn't expect others to be as supportive as I am, I have poor boundaries when it comes to helping people at my expense lol 
     I am always encouraging my friends to let me know if they don't have the capacity to help me, listen to me vent, etc. And when they put that to practice, I'm very chill and understanding. Somehow that doesnt apply to my SO. Him doing the same sets me TF offfff. However, when my SO is mentally/emotionally overloaded he gets a very very short fuse and can be kind of mean, but he usually only gets mean when he's at his limit, but expresses he's reached it in not so kind ways. I need to put more effort into being mindful of where he's at limit-wise. And sometimes (oftentimes?) I take him to his limit by leaning on him too often/heavily while he's overloaded with the current shit he's dealing with. And it seems to not sink in when he tells me he can't deal with it. No one can be 100% supportive all the time. And I know this.  
     But then my irrational demon bpd brain makes me split him or panics he doesn't love me and this makes me goto him even more for constant affirmation which only helps burn him out further and he starts experiencing what seems like compassion fatigue. And it's like I don't hear him telling me he can't take it. He never says he can't deal with *me*, he says he can't handle *this right now* so why am I taking it as a slight against me or that he doesn't care?
     How do I get my entitled fucking demon ass bpd shit to just shut the fuck uppppp and accept he just can't be a pillar of support all the time ???