I'm 24 fucking years old and I'm afraid of EVERYTHING. I've been given so many blessings in life but I'm so paralyzed by anxiety that it's impossible to be even the slightest bit productive.

Working is difficult unless it's a remote job or something I never have to interact with people in.

Driving is hard because I'm afraid the car will break down and I won't know what to do.

Even gaming and writing, things I LOVE, are hard to do because I'm afraid of not being good enough, of failing.

Next month my grandparents are leaving town for a few months and they're letting me rent out their house. It'll be the first time I've ever had a place of my own, and I have the money, and it's only 20 minutes away from home. It's in the perfect location, in a neighborhood I love and surrounded by all of my favorite places and some really good friends.

But I'm scared. Scared of living alone and being responsible for myself. Scared of not knowing how to take care of a home. Scared that I'll disappoint my family by fucking something up. Scared that something will happen with my boyfriend, who I've been with for five years and who I FINALLY get to be with in our "own" space. 

It's the perfect opportunity. This is something anyone would kill to have happen to them, but I'm terrified of the implications. I'm terrified of what COULD go wrong, instead of being excited for what I'm going to have.