Does anyone else squash down and internalize their symptoms of splitting, which feels like having a prolonged anxiety attack?

&amp;#x200B;

A bit of context/vent:

Someone who was romantically interested in me went on to soft reject me, and I feel really hurt that they didn't have the courage to break it off months ago, and kept stringing me along with words about 'wanting to see me' and then not following through, low-effort one-word replies, etc. 

I am pouring all my life essence into not flooding their dms with needy 'you really jerked me around, screw you', 'if you change your mind hit me up', 'this isn't working, bye', 'what did i do wrong?!' messages.

I decided that I wasn't going to message them anymore, since they never initiate conversation. They said they want to be friends, which I badly wanted, but they clearly don't, so it's time to cut my losses.   

Because of this, I'm splitting on them hard, my heart is pounding, my chest is heavy with dread, and I feel shaky and awful and can't calm down.

I just wish the bodily anxiety would go away, I feel like garbage. 

While writing this, I caved in and sent a simple 'good luck, maybe I'll see you around some time'. message, for a sense of closure. I don't know how obviously it means 'goodbye', but it'll have to do.

It pains me not to be more straightforward, but I think setting fire to the bridge and/or unfriending them everywhere would make me feel worse, since we have a lot of mutuals.  I don't expect them to respond, but that won't stop me getting stuck in a loop of checking to see if they did, which is frustrating. 

Anyone else keep themselves on a leash, with a white-knuckle grip that makes you an anxious mess unable to do anything else for days but feel sick with anxiety, but at least you didn't send 15 desperate messages to someone in a row?  


I'll get over it in a few days, I'm sure. But I wish it'd hurry up.