I (26m) have been dating my partner (23f) for 3 years now. Within the last few months, I’ve noticed that she has become increasingly distant. What were once really positive talks have turned cynical and she just didn’t seem like herself. At first I thought it was me and I asked. She reassured me and said that there isn’t an issue with us. Something was still going on though. One day she slipped up and said something about needing medication and when I brought it up, she finally told me that she’s been experiencing a really bad episode of depression. 

Not long after that, she broke up with me and told me that she can’t stand seeing me hurt by her current mental state. I was kind of blindsided, because we didn’t even have a proper conversation about what WE would do as a team to help this. 2 days later, she calls me and asks me to meet her. We end up getting back together and she said that it was a mistake to break up and she just did it because she didn’t know what else to do. I’m assuming she was trying to figure out the root of her issues and quickly realized it wasn’t me. She did ask me to just have patience for her. 

Now that we’re here, it’s still hard. She still has issues texting me back and calling. I’m not mad, it’s just that I feel helpless. It’s had to be there when the other person isn’t letting you in. We’ve made some progress, now she’s not afraid to tell me if she feels like talking or not. I told her it’s a safe space with us, so if she’s not up to it at that moment, then there’s no need for her to try and force a conversation. 

I guess I just need advice on how to navigate this. I’ve experienced depression before, but I deal with mine in the exact opposite way. Do I give her space and let her work herself up to the point of talking to me? Should I just send texts every now and then to let her know that I’m still here? (We don’t live together). I don’t plan on breaking up, even during all of this. I genuinely believe she’s the one, she feels the same of me. I just want advice on how to be the best partner during this.