I swore it off years ago. All of my relationships have been abusive, either physically, emotionally, and/or sexually.

But I started talking to someone recently, and he doesn’t know the details yet about my mental health but he’s made it explicitly clear he cares and will never judge me. That he only wants me and will do whatever I need to be comfortable. 

He’s out of state right now and honestly it’s really sucked, the time difference makes it hard to communicate so I’ve had some instances of splitting or just getting too deep into the paranoia. But he’s coming back tomorrow and he just told me that he bought me some stuff. And is bringing back stuff for me to try that I haven’t. 

I dunno. It’s hard to put into text I guess but it seems different this time? I really hope it’s different this time