I want to love my life. I want to be happy and FEEL happy, and be the fun mom my child deserves. I want to be the person my husband fell in love with. I want to clean my home, keep it clean, and love the space I call home. I want to keep my cool and feel patient even when my daughter pushes my buttons. I am easily irritated, overwhelmed, burnt out, and stressed. I have no healthy outlet. My poor little kid doesn't get to play with mommy because I don't have the mental energy to be around her most of the time. I just go through the motions, make sure she has what she needs, and my husband plays with her. It is clear that she prefers her dad over me and that makes me feel worse.

I just want help and I don't know where to start. I want to run away but I also want to stay and fix this.