So my gf and I have been dating for about 3 years. Every time she goes out and I don’t say anything cause I’m not a controlling person. I always encourage her to do things with other people too. The past couple months she’s been going out a lot more with friends from work. I find myself getting sad very easily when she does, but I don’t let her know cause I don’t want to stop her from doing what she wants. But now lately I’ve been telling her how I get sad and at the end of me telling her I always tell her that I don’t want to be the reason you don’t do things, but I also want to let you know how I feel. In my eyes it feels like I’m making her choose even though that’s not what I’m trying to do. Some other cases are if she has plans with her friends and I had the same idea I just let her do it with her friends. For example if they plan to go out to Applebees on a Tuesday night, but I’ve thought about going out to Applebees on Friday night with the both of us I just don’t say anything about the plans I had for us. Instead I just forget about it and don’t even let her know the exact same plans I want to do with her. I encourage her to go with her friends instead and figure something else for us to do. But this also makes me feel like I’m second fiddle in the relationship. I don’t want to say anything cause I don’t want to stop her from doing what she really wants to do. I feel like if I tell her she’ll go with me out of pity. So overall I’m not controlling what she does, but repressing how I feel about it is getting harder and harder.