i was on a high all day, finally having enough morivation to clean through a large portion of my depression room. i was running errands, helping family, cleaning...just a generally productive day which has been incredibly for me through the swath of depression ive been sinking in lately. and then my partner asks if i wanted to spend the night. i said yes and warned him it might be closer to 9 before i could get there due to some things that needed done at home. he didnt voice an issue with that.
then i get to his house. he opens the door and i can see it on his face and hear it in his tone that he's upset. and i ask him several times, "are you upset? if there's an issue please tell me" and the only answer he'll give is "im just tired". goes to his room and immediately lays down to sleep, isn't even talking to me, just laying there. laying away from me, he wont snuggle up to me. i apologized that i came later tonight and he wouldnt even acknowledge i had spoken. and now im laying in a dark room crying on my side of the bed wondering how badly itd blow up on me if i just grabbed my shit and left. its okay for him to be upset but like...fucking tell me? be honest? if you dont want to see me, tell me? but instead he's managed to trip several of my triggers in one foul swoop and now i feel like garbage for everything ive done today. i wont be able to sleep like this.