after a few weeks of screening and talking stuff out with my new therapist i've officially gotten disgnosed. it's both a huge weight on and off my shoulders because i've been researching bpd for a while and identified with a lot of the symptoms and causes, but also knowing that this is a real, tangible problem that has affected me, my family, my friends, and almost all of my relationships is really hard to take. i never want to use it as an excuse, but looking back on my life, it does explain a lot of the things i've ruined and the damage that has happened to me. so many of my friends have more common disorders like depression, anxiety, adhd, etc. but no one in my circle has borderline and i feel really alone and scared that they're all going to get sick of me and leave me. idk it's just hard to think about and i figured talking about it here with people that also have bpd might help