I'm starting to loose weight, my goals are properly oriented and I'm feeling a little more confident, but I still feel hollow yet heavy and sluggish at the same time.

Everything has a constant sense of hopelessness and meaningless ness, I don't necessarily want to commit suicide I'm honestly afraid of death, I just don't want to be here.

Between the cystic acne, ugly face &amp; body, short, depressed &amp; anxious, crushing lonliness and the certainty of never having a partner, really fucking drags me down. The only time I'm less depressed is when I'm constantly moving and don't have a second to think, even then I dont really get a break. Times like this where I can't, as of now it's because of my auto immune disorder it comes crashing over me like a tidal wave. 

I'm not an incel or anything, I'm not angry, I'm just sad.

Please don't try to reassure me on the last part it usually makes me feel worse.

My dms are open if anyone feels similarly : )