i can honestly say the only thing keeping me alive is fear of not knowing what happens after death, its not family or friends not missing life or my future its just fear and every part of me is just ready to go, i have no interest in life anymore, nothing peaks my interest anymore, i have no hope, no expectations, just sadness and pain masked with a smile. I cant cry and i have this overwhelming urge to commit suicide... im fighting the urge really trying but the wanting of release from this horrible existence is becoming too much. It wouldn't be so difficult to want to live if i had something to live for but i don't, so i dont really have anything else keeping me here except fear.