Hi, (18M) I need some advice on what to do regarding my mental health conditions. I’ve always had OCD since a kid but it’s always been manageable however for the past year it has been getting severely worse: 

1. It started off with sexual orientation OCD, I identify as bi and the OCD would try to convince me I was fully gay. This was awful and took ages to get over and I still struggle at times with loss of attraction.
2. I started to get horrible , sick intrusive thoughts often sexual in nature, these would be accompanied by feelings down in my penis and I would sit for hours panicking at the fact of liking those things 
3. Then it began to affect my dreams as I couldn’t even escape the intrusive thoughts when I was asleep 
4. I now feel like I am battling POCD and I am terrified over the fact of that, it try’s to tell me I am attracted to kids, family and the thoughts are just awful and I spend hours trying to neutralise them to the point I start drawing on paper ‘OCD not me’ until it feels right 
5. I could handle the thoughts but the thing I find most debilitating is the groinal feeling and the absolute shame and guilt that comes along, I never feel like I’ll be happy and I feel so disconnected and like a bad person. 
6. I can’t watch any crime documentaries anymore without getting horrible feelings down there suggesting that I like what the murderer is doing , it’s awful 
7. I am on anti-depressants and on the waiting list for therapy but it’s 18 months long on the NHS. What else can I do to help myself? 

Tldr: struggling with horrible intrusive sexual thoughts and worrying I may enjoy them sexually. How can I help myself?