Okay. Not really but kinda.  It's Christmas. I have an abusive family and they went out of town.  I'm a 22 yr old and this is my first year alone on the holiday.  

I'm so over it. My friends are all with their families enjoying the holiday cheer. Going to be with them was harder than being alone I think. At least if I'm alone I can pretend it's just another day. Order pizza. Read. I don't know. 

The problem is is that I know it isn't a normal day. It's a shit day. I'll be in this house all alone.  By myself.  In my PJs. Under blankets unable to move, to breath.  I'm just waiting for it all to end. I should get up. Get something to eat.  Make efforts to be a human. But I'm in so much pain. 

I know it's not permanent. The moods come and go. I'm smart enough not to drink it away and too depressed to do anything impulsive.  Can anyone online hear me? If yes then please remind me that this is temporary.  

Thank you.  
