I'm fighting for years now in a losing war slowly I lost my work, my friends, any events or festivals, ymy Hobbys and Interesse in stuff. I have nothing to look for. I tryed getting help from friends or professional but I was left alone to deal with it in the end.
At this point I hate to hear "I m here for you" because it was never true and no one cares at all why do they lie to me? It is fine that no one cares but don't make me belive actions will follow your words..

I so isolated and alone only to break the silence to be there for some one else.

Im so tired of hearing I know lonlyness feels..

No you don't know how it is to never have some one never be worth fighting for you don't know how it is to bee weeks or month without talking to anybody you don't know how it is to not even touch a other living thing for 6 months again.


I had 3 attempts in the past the last one was new year last year.. I think I finly lost it all there is nothing worth fighting for there is no future, there is not even a present tbh
I don't even know why I was fighting so long. 
I tryed my best and it was never enough
I wasted so many years and failed my life