I went through a breakup that was 100% my fault and I have been in agonizing physical and emotional pain all week. I’m trying to use my DBT skills to distract but it feels like there’s an elephant on my chest. I have such a physical reaction to my FP leaving, moving on, replacing me. I had begged for him back on Monday and he suggested we take a few days and decide later whether to stay apart but my mind is going crazy, filling in blanks on what he may be doing and it’s so unhealthy. I’ve been anticipating him texting or calling saying he’s better off without me every minute of everyday since we last spoke. What do you do to remedy these strong emotional reactions? Although I’m glad there may be a possibility of us getting back together, having this go on with uncertainty for so many days now is taking a toll on my physical health and I’ve even researched whether or not I’m experiencing broken heart syndrome from this situation. Because I assume he’s doing fine, that’s been initiating a horrible internal splitting response of “I miss him so much, he was so good to me” vs. “he’s doing fine without you and doesn’t need you, he never loved you, he’s letting you suffer” and I’m so sick and confused. No matter how much progress I feel I’ve made in BPD recovery, this is where I always fall short - detaching from my FP is the worst pain imaginable and I feel like I’m drowning and could use some emotional support from people who understand.