TLDR: severe loss of appetite and insomnia due to dating anxiety. No other symptoms, I don’t know what to do I’m losing my mind and I need to get over this.

I’ve always had a physical reaction to dating. In all other aspects of my life I have zero anxiety but every time I go on a date, I get a queasy feeling in my stomach and can’t eat the day of and a couple of days after. I don’t usually get any other symptoms, I always feel like I don't want to go on the date the day of but then I go  and I’m fine and have fun, I just can’t eat. I guess this has impacted my life in that I haven’t dated so much, I always lose weight when I date and feel like shit for a couple of weeks, so I usually only do it once every 6 months or so. I will get on an app and set up 7 dates in a week to ‘get it over with’ then see what happens with those. The longest relationship I’ve had was 6 months and after the first couple of months the queasy feeling went away, but that was a super low pressure relationship because he worked away for 2 weeks at a time so I would only see him every third week.

I’ve recently started dating again but this physical reaction to the anxiety is killing me and the symptoms are getting worse. I’ve been on 3 dates with 3 guys in the last 2 weeks and I’ve lost 4kg (8.8lbs) because I have no appetite and I feel so queasy. It’s worse around the weekends when I have dates planned than during the week, I gradually recover my appetite over the week until the day of the date and then it's gone again.

On Friday I had a nice date and slept with the guy and had a great time, afterwards I went back to my place because I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep well at his and I do not cope well with sleep deprivation. I found I couldn’t sleep at my place either, I woke up at 3am wide awake with a churning stomach. It’s really strange, my sister has terrible anxiety and I’m familiar with her symptoms but the only ones I get are the insomnia and lack of appetite. I’m not worried about anything I’m not stuck in a negative thought pattern, when I wake up in the night my thoughts are:

\-my stomach feels uncomfortable 

\-I had fun tonight I should invite that guy around again

\-Reminiscing about the sex (fondly)

\-maybe I should try eating some toast to settle my stomach etc. etc.

At breakfast I couldn’t even manage toast, I just couldn’t swallow it and it was making me feel sick. I tried to go for a run because I thought it might help but it just made me feel nauseous and weak (because I haven’t eaten anything, and I can’t get anything down!) I could only do half of my regular run. 

The next night I was expecting to get a really good night’s sleep because I was so tired, but I had a hard time falling asleep and again I woke up at 3am wide awake and with a churning stomach. The guy I slept with is coming around again tonight, I’m excited but I can’t cope with a third night of no sleep!

I don’t really know what to do to help. I’ve been trying to treat myself really kindly by relaxing a lot and buying all my favourite foods, but still all I ate yesterday was a bag of chips, half a juice, and half a can of coke (on a lunch date with another guy, I couldn’t manage any food!). I’ve tried to nap but I can’t (I’ve never been able to nap but I usually sleep really well so it doesn't matter). What else can I do? Are there any immediate strategies that could help settle my stomach? I bought some antacids but dont want to use them unless I really have to.

Could a doctor help and what kind of doctor? I’m sick of living with these symptoms interfering with my weight, my sleep, and my running and I don’t want it to put me off dating. I don’t really want to take medication though because I don’t have anxiety in other areas of my life, and I have some quite complex health issues which could make interact with medications, but I also need to get some quality sleep asap or I know my mental health will deteriorate.