I’m 15, trans f, and I don’t see the point of living anymore. It’s hard to remember a time where I didn’t feel this miserable, I’ve felt this way for about 2 years now. I feel like I’m behind on everything, people my age do a lot of cool stuff, but I can’t. I try to find excuses, but I could just be lazy. I don’t do anything, though I’d love to. No one sees what I feel, and I feel helpless. No one has diagnosed me, I don’t know how to tell my psychiatrist or my parents, the only person who know are my online friends and my friend who checks my reddit from time to time, he’ll probably read this post. I have made several suicide attempts, but I’ve never gotten very far, as I’m scared. I can’t turn off my brain, it’s always thinking about everything and it hurts, it makes everything so difficult. Everytime I make a bit of progress I get sent 10 steps backwards. I feel cursed, I wish I wasn’t trans, I wish my brain worked like everyone else’s. I wish I could feel happiness for longer than 15 minutes. My mom is transphobic and so are a lot of other people around me, I’m so scared to come out. I have autism and it makes everything so much harder. The hell I’ve been trough, until last week I couldn’t even get to school without a panic attack. Make it end. What do I do?