I’m 21 and was diagnosed with BPD a few weeks ago and lots of things are now starting to make sense. I’ve been with my partner for almost 4 years but I don’t know how to handle the relationship anymore. I feel like my partner doesn’t understand perspective and doesn’t try to. 

I know a lot of my feelings are irrational and probably not what a normal person experienced so it’s probably difficult to understand. I can’t remember the last time I felt loved or wanted or cared about in my relationship and I’m struggling to understand whether it’s the BPD making me feel this way or my partners actions. My partner constantly tells me that he needs space and time to be by himself but then he spends that time with his friends and it makes me feel like he doesn’t need alone time, he just needs time away from me. I completely understand and agree that in relationships we need our own time, I do too, but I can’t help but feel hurt and rejected when this happens. It feels like he always gets angry with me no matter what I do and let’s all his frustrations about work or his family out on me and I can’t handle it anymore. It feels like there’s barely any effort from his end which I guess comes in phases because we’ve been together for a while but it makes it difficult to not feel like he hates me. 

How do you cope with BPD while being in a relationship? 