What are some good questions to ask a therapist to make sure they’re a good fit for someone with BPD?

I have been in therapy on and off for over 20 years. I have seen 15 therapists in that time. I have given therapy a genuine try. I even have a degree in the psychology field as an attempt to better understand and help myself. But in a way, it seems to be detrimental because I’ve come across so many therapists who really have no business being a therapist whom have outdated information and see BPD’s as monsters. I had my spouse see a BPD specialist because I thought they’d be able to advise them on how to deal with me. You know what this supposed BPD specialist said? On the first meet without knowing a damn thing about me, the therapist told them to leave me. It was my spouses first experience with therapy too and they couldn’t believe it and it left a bad taste in their mouth and it was hard for them to get back into therapy even just for themselves (they eventually did thank goodness and they like their current therapist).

I do believe therapy works but only if you find the right therapist. I have had successful therapists but I have had to move around and leave them and my favorite got very ill and had to close his practice. I have had a BITCH of a time finding a therapist that truly understands the condition and who doesn’t view me as some lizard brained psycho incapable of growth without even getting to know me.

I’ve read countless articles on the importance of interviewing your prospective therapists but all the suggested questions to ask are “basic” and not tailored to the BPD experience. So I’m wondering if there are any fellow BPD people out there who have had successful therapy for BPD - what questions might you ask a therapist (or wish you asked) to weed out bad ones and ensure you’d be a good fit? Questions that go beyond “do you do DBT?”.

I am in my mid 30’s and have worked so hard just to get this far. So much therapy, so many meds, so many various treatments and some even experimental treatments, if one more therapist implies I’m not trying hard enough, I swear to god I’m going to snap.