I can't get into any specifics but it's really bad I am only 16 years old and the things I've seen in my life are just horrific and the fact that I have nobody to confide in about this just adds an extra layer of isolation to what I've experienced and I actually find some form of comfort in knowing that not many people have been subjected to what I have been through thinking about it is torture it's been so long since it happened but it's just stuck there in my brain floating around popping up a million times a day making sure I never fucking forget it it ruins my day so much I've done everything in my power to distract myself the past few years just watching movies playing games and sometimes it works and i forget about it for a nice little moment when I'm completely immersed in a game or movie its peaceful and then I remember and it's just so fucking bad I hate it so much there is no hope for me it will never get better I will never forget this happened to me or accept it I will be miserable for the remainder of my life it's fucked up so many aspects of my life I have such horrible grades because I just distract myself with movies and videogames to stop remembering it I know I can do so much better in school and I just fuck it up everytime I have such a shit future ahead of me I'm an irresponsible fuck up and I just hate everything about myself