I feel so lost. I have wanted to just give up and leave this existence. My ex is trying to take me for spousal support when she has actual trade school degrees, yet I have no schooling past high school. I sold my car that was paid off and got an older model that I now owe on. I owe my parents money for helping with bills. I don’t know how I am going to afford my insulin, depression and anxiety meds. Yet the only thing that keeps me planted for now is not knowing where my cats would end up if I left. 

I have tried reaching out for help to no avail. I’m one bad day away from just saying fuck it and having my best friend take my boys (cats) and just end it. 

Insomnia combined with depression sleeping has me fucked for any semblance of a sleep schedule. The constant knot in my stomach has made me lose my appetite until I’m in pain from lack of nutrition. 

Maybe something will change? Hasn’t yet, but I guess you can hope for hope right?