in march my dad died in july my sister died and during that this year also my grandma uncle and 2 cousins. immediately after my dad and sisters death i crashed into a deep ass depression for weeks. i was being sad all the fuckin time, didnt stick my legs outta bed most days, not eating anything not even pizza, snoozing thru days and nights, boozin and smokin days and night, yada yada

since then obviously it made me sad to think about it and i thought about it everyday but i felt i was able to get thru it ok like any other person who gone thru the bs i did. i still drink way too much but fck it thats life

anyways for sum reason in the beginning of this week i fell back into a deep ass depression like i did after they died. here we go again im back to being a lazy fck, going hungry, hitting the snooze button, drinkin and boofin 24/7, same fuckin thing

thing is i dont know y i fell into so hard outta nowhere and so bad. could it be cus thanksgiving jus happened n christmas is around the corner? but i was back at college partying this past weekend and everything was great. idk wut happened. i literally woke up n felt like shit i was blacked out the night before it was awesome. i dont want it to get this bad again i thought i wrked thru it, is this shit gonna hit me again outta nowhere