I have been friends with my boyfriend for over a year, we used to work at the same job together. We’ve only been together for a couple of months and the first month was completely great. 

For whatever reason, we haven’t been able to stop arguing for the past few days where we have said some pretty cruel and nasty things to each other as well as broken up. 

I have BPD amongst other things. he has PTSD, depression, anxiety, and more. i don’t know how to not let my emotions get so overwhelming that i am not thinking logically and instead get super pissed and go off the handle. 
it gets to the point where in the moment i want absolutely nothing to do with him.
but as soon as i calm down, i start thinking and regretting everything and literally take it out on myself. i try to apologize and let him know i didn’t mean any of it but it’s really hard for him to understand my bpd. he doesn’t get that the person saying all those things isn’t the real me. but i have ruined this. he doesn’t even want to be my friend anymore. 

i’ve gotten to the point where i don’t even think it’s smart for me to ever be in a relationship. i feel as if all i do is hurt the people around me. i’m sick of it and just want some help or tips or advice