I work a quite terrible job, I work nearly 10 hours a day (which quite frankly is more draining both mentally and physically). I get off work and I just pass out, I don’t spend much time doing anything with friends because I just don’t feel like putting on a face. I try to look better for everyone because if I don’t act fine people will treat me differently. I’ve tried going to therapy for my anxiety, which has been clinically diagnosed, but it just doesn’t seem to help. The things they say “go out with friends, do some fun stuff with them, go travel” I just don’t feel like doing. If I do then usually near the end of whatever outing we have, I start disassociating. I just feel like I’ve been drowning in whatever person I try to look like to everyone else, it hurts but i feel like I need to keep that face. 
This is my first time posting here, sorry for venting. Just needed to get some stuff off my chest in kind of an anonymous atmosphere.