I'm rubbish at writing things, always have been so please bare with me.

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My girlfriend and i have now broken up after being together for 15 months, she became abusive towards the end and i couldn't take it anymore, however i still miss her. 

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i've been feeling really suicidal recently and have been sectioned/hospitalised a few times before. in one mind i want to call GP/101 (UK) and explain everything but i know they'll just section me again after what i tell them, i cannot afford to loose any hours out of work im already scraping by as it now and i'll be in a worse situation after, what can i do? these feelings/temptations wont go away it's like im fighting with my head on wether or not to kill myself and i can't fight forever

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I have nobody to turn too, life sucks.