I can’t deal with having people in my life who act erratic and out of control, and I mean even with things that are considered normal by most people, such as drinking on weekends and not following a structured daily routine. 

I feel triggered by it, it really enrages and disgusts me, I think it’s the fact that as a neuro typical person they act in a self trashing way and see no wrong in the behaviour. 

I just find it really repulsive because I work so hard to force myself to think everything through, I follow a rigid diet, exercise and life routine every day and seeing others “go off the rails” in my interpretation of what that means, sickens me. 

I find it really immature to just exist without boundaries on your life, I generally steer clear of neuro typical people as well as non self aware neuro divergent people, I just find them to be messy. 

I don’t like the energy of desperation it has of them seeking fleeting hits of serotonin/dopamine, it’s just like, I’ve been there and done that in my teen years and to see people in their adult years doing it is just so annoying to me. 

I resist every impulse and urge I have not only from my BPD symptoms but my other comorbid mental illnesses and it pisses me off to see others give in to their primitive desires and not hold themselves to a higher standard of behaviour. 

It deeply angers me, to a debilitating degree. I have to distance myself from the person to make sure I don’t react badly. 

More of a rant than a DAE but I’d like to know if others feel this way too…