I feel that i have been suffering minor depression the last 1.5 years or so but ig just shrugged it off because i wanted too be 'manly' about my feelings but it has gotten too the point where it effects my work, my social side and my hope for the future. 

The past 6 months or so felt like some of the best of my life and i felt my depression might of even left but ive had a real down point in life which has taken a massive mental hit on me, had a fairly traumatic vehcle accident, my gf left me for no distinct reason, had multiple family members pass. Recently with parental advice i saw a doctor about my mental heath for the first time and was the first time i was diagnosed with depression. 

I was never the person too talk about my feelings and issues too friends and family because i was scared of what they would think, my life feels empty. I no longer find the joy in my past hobbies, i try too go out and hang with friends as much as i can but always feel like i just want too be alone all the time. Im sick of feeling like i have too hide my feelings and depression from people because of how they woukd react.

I can't work properly, my short time memory has been affected too the point where alot of the time i cant hold a proper conversation with anyone. My brain just feels so foggy and clouded with negative thoughts, the feeling of crying yourself too sleep and feeling like a burden 24/7 too everyone is really hard on me. Self harm has been on my mind many times but is never something that i have (or hopefully never will) go through with. I'm sick of hiding behind the smile, i just need the right approach too get the help i need. 

Thankyou for reading