I don’t know what I’m doing. 26 years and I should be working at some company or have a place of my own. But instead, I’m working on 2 9-5 job and living with grandma. I mean living with grandma is good but I know at this age I should have a place of my own. Work is good. My co-workers treats me like friends. But in my head, I feel like they pity me and thinks I’m stupid. I make mistakes and I feel ashamed of it. I laugh at jokes that ppl make fun of me but I feel like a laughing stock. Ppl say that I’m too optimistic and I guess that’s my toxic traits. I should be getting my license as a cosmetologist but I’m stuck and instead, I’m working like a slave. I can’t concentrate on studying during my days off and I can’t say no to anyone. Not even my coworkers or manager(s). All I want to do is lay down and sleep where I don’t have to wake up from the dream. A dream where I can be whoever I want and nobody to bother me. I feel as if time is too fast and my life is going downwards if I stay awake.