Here I am. 
22 living in London living “my best life” when in reality I’ve booked the week off work to just EXIST

I get so exhausted quickly from living and I just am splitting on people as a species at the moment

I’ve spent the week in my room practically - I can’t go outside. The stimuli will burn my skin. 

I’m not doing awfully on my own - I actually just prefer it - being around people just constantly reminds me of how little they know me? 
I don’t like perceptions because it just makes me sad and stressed. 
I don’t like overthinking the different versions I adopt around people - all is still ‘me’ but I have a slider scale of confidence I guess? I hate that I make promises I can’t keep to those I love - one minute I can take it on - but it all happens so fast? The switch up

My head is exhausting to be in. I hate being constantly invalidated because people assume you navigate maskless. 

A lot of people are trying to socialise at the moment. 

I just can’t do it - not because I don’t care. I care and love people a lot. But I’m exhausted. I need to recuperate on my own. It’s making me split on everyone because they prove time and time again, how little my emotional issues are on a grand scheme of things.

I’m patronised so badly. As if one day I’ll wake up and be able to “adult” the same way as people around me - I just haven’t had the penny drop.

It’s tough and I’m splitting on a few individuals in my life - no point talking to them about it because it’s always the same responses.

When I say split too - I’m like not in “hate” mode vs “love” mode - more so I have no desire / no interest to be around people. It’s making my trust issues weirdd - not trusting peoples intentions atm 

Anyone else split like this? Any advice on how to realign ?