I keep on missing school days, and I feel really guilty about it. I’m doing it so much that it’s become a habit of mine. I feel so depressed that I don’t even feel like getting up in the morning. By now I wouldn’t even care if I died. I’ve been suicidal for a few years, but never had the strength to end it. I know I’m going to fail in life and end up not being successful. I really want to be a detective or something in forensics, but my grades aren’t good enough for that. I know everyone else has lost hope in me as well. My friends get mad at me for skipping school. It’s none of their business, but they get all up in my face about it. It’s honestly so annoying because it’s not up to them. They’re jealous because they can’t miss school. It’s not like I want to miss school, I just feel so hopeless in life. Nobody really likes me anymore. I always ruin friendships. And the people that fall in love with me would leave once they really knew me. People are used to me always laughing and making jokes, they usually compliment me on my sense of humour. But the only reason why I’m so funny, is because it’s all I got. And being “funny” goes away after awhile. It gets boring. I wish I was actually worth talking to. I don’t deserve to be loved, I don’t deserve anything really. The teachers already think I’m a failure and it’s embarrassing. I want to feel the world un-moving. Sometimes it feels like I’m not even alive, I feel like Im having an out of body experience. Everything feels so surreal. I wish I could live without living. I wish I didn’t have to get up in the mornings. I kinda wish I could go without anyone noticing. Anyways, that’s all for my rant. I won’t continue on with this sob fest. This was probably no use, just a desperate cry for attention. But it helps a little to write it down I guess? Although I don’t feel much different.