Using a throwaway as too many people know my main and I don't want to worry anyone.

I'm struggling, I can't afford to live, I never go anywhere or do anything. My favourite time of day is when I'm asleep. I lost a close friend, I miss them so much. I want to cry about it but I can't, I've been numb for so long.

People say to me 'I'm always here if you need to talk' but I don't know how to put into words how I feel or the fact that I see nothing in my future, no security, no comfort and no prospects besides getting through the waking hours so I can sleep and feel nothing for a while. I don't want to burden anyone, we all have so much going on these days. 

I just wanted to get some of this out. It won't change anything, but at least this way I feel slightly less isolated from the world. Thanks for reading.