I’ve been reading the posts here and I’m in shock of how dark some are and wanna say that I feel that and have experienced the burden of life in the darkest moments…/sighs/

Now about my story. 

I fought depression hard. My escape was to deny that I’m depressed. I never questioned why I don’t get invited to parties much, or never really stopped to think why making friends was hard. Now things have changed. I’ve started demanding more from myself. I saw how broken everything is in my life especially my relationships. I see how broken my family is. I see that I’m only starting to see what profession I want. It all seems like too much to bear. Too much to change. I feel hopeless and that life is not long enough to fix this. I fear ending up alone. I recently quitted weed and I think that is also contributing to the anxiety I feel. There’s a constant voice in my head putting me down and judging me like an asshole. My friend is suggesting that I try depression meds to find some stability. But I see it as a defeat and fear that I’d feel much worse if they don’t work or have terrible side effects. Any comment is welcome