I'm in the army, in the IDF, to be exact, I hate my job here, I hate every moment I'm awake, I'm being made fun of and getting my balls busted here when I'm not performing adequately, I'm surrounded by people who don't care about me or won't listen to me, even my fucking mom ignores me all the time, fights and argues with me to the death over everything and any little stupid thing.
I tried going to therapy through the army, it's shit.
I've been advised to take medication, my mom ripped the prescriptions in my face and made a fucking scene where she threatened me with a fake suicide attempt.
I'm falling apart, but surprised I haven't yet popped a bullet into my skull or jumped from the roof of my apartment building.
Even god won't save me, if there's any slim chance there's a higher being listening to me.
I just want it all to end, I don't want to exist, and even moreover, I want to be forgotten (it's not like I have people remembering me or things related to me anyway)