
Did anyone else have bad coping skills and act on on friends growing up? I wish I could apologize now.

Growing up was difficult when you are being raised by someone with unhealthy traits. I both took some on as my own without realizing it, and would push people away or cry out for help in ways I so badly regret. I had some wonderful friends I really miss from high school. When I think of who I was back then and the poor coping skills that they saw, and probably see me as brings me HUGE shame. 
I wish I could reach out and explain my home life situation and apologize for some of the behaviors I exhibited when I was younger. Until I left the house and gained some perspective I didn’t realize that my screams for help were self-pitying and stressful for those close to me. I didn’t consider the toll it was taking on them because there was so much chaos in my life that I couldn’t see past myself. 

The people I miss are probably different now and it’s too late. I tried to reach out to one person who ignored me, and I can’t blame her. I really have moved so much forward (and I’m still working on it everyday) but I can’t get over the shame of how I dealt with being raised by an u healthy bipolar/BPD parent. 

Can anyone relate? Anyone ever reach out who dealt with their situation poorly as a child? Or those who have improved their bpd symptoms, do you feel similar? I can’t get past the shame and I’ve only recently realized how much of a toll it took on my friends.