It's just that my depressive episodes in bipolar2 feel so different than some other types of episodes people feel and talked about and it's so weird. I mean we all experience depression differently and every person is different. But for example every doctor I've been to thought my depression episodes had a trigger or was caused by my negative thoughts about myself and life. While it is true sometimes and was much more in the past, a lot of times my depression is just a feeling, a cloud in my chest, a despair SO awful to feel it can make me suicidal just to not feel it. And yet when I try to explain it to people, even the ones who experience depression, they don't get it. But isn't the point of bipolar that a huge part of that is in chemical imbalance? Would that explain why it feels so different? I mean I can have a nice time and enjoy myself and the feeling would creep back anyway and disturb me for the next weeks. It's not always the case and sometimes my episodes are just feeling tired af or something else, but that feeling of something "preying" on my chest were the worst I had so far and I was wondering if it had anything to do with being bipolar. There's not much info on the internet about it. Sorry if it sounds silly