I have been realizing some things about myself. None of my moods are ever really in the middle. I feel them extremely. I either feel nothing or I feel it all. I also realized that I have these moments where I just sit there and think about how I wish I could cure people and then i think it's my responsibility. I feel such bad guilt because of this.

Then I realized that I think about how I am a fallen angel and that's why I feel guilt. It's a hard thought. I feel too much anxiety when I think like that. 

I feel panic a lot. I get an idea in my mind and it just takes over and no matter what it barely goes away.I take meds. Abilify and Citalopram. But it is a weird thing. I'm sensitive to side effects. I puke and get nauseous a lot if I take other meds.

I like to spin and I feel in tune with myself and heaven when I do it. But I feel sad a lot and panicked. I have weird panic attacks where I just get intrusive thoughts that get triggered by nothing and then I feel like I'm out of place. It's hard to explain because it's a distinct feeling. 

I think I'm possessed sometimes. It's because I feel very weird lately. I keep wetting the bed. I keep waking up and it sounds like I'm speaking another language. I keep having showers because it's where I feel safe. I wish I could just stay in for hours.  I keep having very frightening dreams. I had a bad ouija board experience too. I keep feeling very disoriented as 

 Everything feels like its hitting a nerve. Sounds hurt. Things hurt my mind.