Today has been a very not great mental health day. The suicidal thoughts are louder than normal. It's a bit better now that I have a break but most of the day when not talking to someone I'm just straight dissociating and my thoughts are literally chanting "I wish I was dead" on repeat. Occasionally the repeated phrase is broken with a couple "I hate myself" thrown in there.

So does anyone else's brain do this almost without any ability to stop it when things get bad?