Usually I am fine. I decided to try shrooms and the first 2 times went perfect and it was amazing and fun. Well this past weekend, I had them again and it went off the rails. I talked to Lucifer and was speaking to my wife telepathically but just talking out loud to myself. I really thought that like I was really talking to her and that even though she wasn't responding, she knew what was going on. Also saw a shadow person in my hallway. But it morphed into a kid. Then I was stuck in a loop for what seemed like hours, walking in circles but each room kept changing but only slightly. 
  
 At some point in the night my actions or talking to myself scared my wife and thought I was going to do something bad, but at the same time not scared knowing I had had shrooms. I also thought I was trapt in purgatory and that I was dead.
There was more to it, but I blacked out at random times and can't remember what happened. Everything ended up okay and safe, but my brain just won't stop going over it all, over and over. 
   
Don't worry, I am never touching that stuff ever again in my life. But I just want to stop feeling so alone with all of this in my head. And not knowing what it is, being unmedicated and haven't seen anyone in years.
   

   However, today I scheduled an intake to hopefully see someone next week, seeing as I'm unemployed and uninsured.

   Just, thanks in advance for giving this a read. And if you have any advice, helpful or kind words, that would be greatly appreciated.