I am 18 male I have been a loner my whole life not because I didn't want people but because people never spoke to me. I was a ugly kid and started to work out at 14 and now I look amazing and now people speak to me. It has shown me how shallow people are and I thought that people liking me would also make me happy but it doesn't. I have been cutting since I was 16 and it has made me happy today I figured out why the only thing that seems to make me happy is cutting it is because everything else in my life is fake. I have fake friends, I don't care about school, I don't care about anything my life is a lie the world thinks I am amazing and they tell me I am but all I can see is their fakeness. Pain and cutting is the only real thing in my life and it makes me happy that I can feel something real.