as the title says. I've been dealing with this since I was 16.... my first relationship was a disaster that lasted a month and my second relationship was a disaster that lasted 6 months and I've only recently gotten over (its been 3 years..)

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I finally am amble to control myself and my empathy to a level where i can interact without the extreme emotions and black and white thinking coming out nearly as much. I finally understand people and life and how  to live to a degree... but the crippling emptiness and need is there... Right now I've just recently started seeing a therapist and she is the focus of my (mind? emotions? extremes? safe thought space?). I've begun to genuinely trust her and have been using her as a mental escape... if that makes sense?

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Mental escapism is basically the only thing that has held me together for years and I feel as if the cracks are beginning to show. I haven't been happy for longer than I can remember and the constant need for affection and closeness... to a significant other mostly, and to friends.. It's hard for me to get close to people because my mind is a whirlwind of extreme emotions, trust issues and what feels like some level of constant grief.

I've managed to begin to express this to my therapist and it's extremely weird and nice at the same time for her to validate what i feel and build my self esteem...

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anyway... i think spiraling now... just wondering if and how you guys deal with these things.