When extremely depressed and without substances to numb myself, I can bring myself out of a funk by looking at violently dead people online. I don’t enjoy it at all, but I think staring at it and focusing on it distracts me from my negative thoughts, and maybe I feel like “at least I’m not that person.” By the time I’ve processed my thoughts looking and thinking about these horrific images, what was bothering me before will have passed.

I wonder if it is somehow overwriting some inner ptsd with new ptsd 😵‍💫 Whatever it is, it works once in a blue moon.