Sorry for my bad English.
I was diagnosed with BPD a year ago, before that I had depression and anxiety disorder since I was 13 years old. I'm 23 years old now.
I have tried several medications, therapies and treaments and nothing is helping.
Everywhere I go reading about BPD people are telling how things like meditation and mindfulness helped them a lot and now everything is so much better. BUT I HATE THAT SHIT. I understand this is an attitude problem that I need to get rid of, but how do I do that? Is there anyone else here who thought mindfulness is complete bullshit and they will never every try to sit quietly listening to whale sounds and thinking about how their toes are feeling, and still did it and it worked?
I have tried meditation and stuff like that, but I just hate it so much I understand it can't help me until I accept it and believe in it.

What should I do?

Edit: Thank you all for your answers. I have been thinking about this a lot since I posted and read your thoughts. I guess the fact that even sitting in quiet and clearing my thoughts for 2 seconds makes me extremely uncomfortable, means that that's actually something I should try to work on. I mean if it is SO hard for me then it might do some good if I could make it easier. I'm definitely a person of logic and that's why things like this seem stupid for me. Theotrophos article made me think about it and maybe it's not nonsense after all. I will try to give meditation a chance, though I don't know if I can do it.