i can’t seem to let go of someone. idk what triggered this idk if it’s bpd or not but they’re like my favorite person of 2 years and i would just mentally drain and abuse them because i couldn’t trust them. they stopped caring about me a long time ago but i keep bothering them making numbers and wanting to talk but last time we spoke i had an episode and ending up relapsing. i see my doctor tomorrow but i just don’t understand how people move on i feel insane trying to and not wanting to react. they’re done with me, but i’m so delusional and want them back. ik it’s not good for them either. ik they deserve to be happy and away from me. i’m not diagnosed for bpd by a doctor but whatever i have has ruined me and the person i was the last 3 years. i want to be better, i really wish i wasn’t like this. i act out and after a few hours or days it hits me what i’ve done.