I'm so grateful for my little dog. I adopted him from a  rescue about a year ago while in the throes of a suicidal breakdown. I was so close to the edge but searching for, finding him, and bringing him home backed me away from that dread place. I still struggle a lot with suicidal desires but knowing that he would be sad and bewildered to lose me is one of my reasons for not doing it. 

I love him and I want the best for him, so I force myself to get outside for walks, which is really good for me. I take pride in exercising him and feeding him regularly and well, and most of all in how much he obviously loves me, so much so that other people often remark upon it. But I do my best to help him feel secure and not get separation anxiety when I am away and he tolerates it. 

He's a miniature poodle, which I wanted because poodles are known for being very empathetic and attached to their people. He's pretty much perfect in this regard. When I am crying, he comes up to me and puts his face in mine and sniffs and kisses me with love &amp; concern. When I wake in the middle of the night with deep anxiety, I call him up to the bed and he lies by my side all night in the same position, like a warm little brick, and this soothes me enough to get back to sleep. When something triggers my PTSD, he just comes to me and sits up touching me and facing forward to protect me. 

He's very well behaved and listens well but he's got his idiosyncrasies and can have a sassy attitude at times, which just makes me love him more. He's all grown up at 6 years old, but he gets playful at certain times and it can really lift my mood when he does. This afternoon/ evening I was just lying in my bed all burnt out from moving out of my ex boyfriend's house &amp; broken and incredibly depressed. He started rolling around in the bed on his back to get his belly rubbed and pretending to bite me, which helped me get out of bed and feed him and start dinner for myself. 

I feel just so lucky our two souls met in this life. I often don't have what it takes to maintain healthy relationships and I avoid people a lot, despite wanting so badly to be not the way that I am and able to handle the ups and downs of being in relation to other humans. But I feel so unconditionally loved and accepted by him. It means a lot to someone like me who can't fathom/ doesn't trust it when humans say they love and care about me. And having him even helps increase my interaction with other people like when we go for walks or to the dog park. 

I am just crying right now because I love and appreciate him for the beauty of who he is and how much he cares for me. I will always take the very best care of him possible and I love him to the moon and back. 

And his name is Sunny, because he brought such light to my life when I adopted him. From the bottom of my heart, I thank him.