I am in a relationship with a person who has BPD. I haven’t heard from her in months, but I think we are still together, though she has ghosted me. I haven’t ended the relationship and neither has she. I learned a lot more about BPD since this happened to get a better understanding of why this is happening, and I believe the term is “splitting”. From my understanding it is a defense mechanism to avoid imagined or real abandonment. I would never think to leave her, even if we had only been together a couple months. She is my first girlfriend and I don’t want it to end like this. She never hurt me before, and would voice her doubts and worries. Each time I would try my hardest to tell her how much I loved her, but I have learned that it is extremely hard for someone with BPD to fully believe anything you tell them. The last time I heard from her we were planning to go on a date to a fair around Valentine’s Day. Then she told me she was feeling like she was going to start being distant and felt horrible about it. She also said if I could just expect her to disappear for a bit for a “mini depressive episode”. I wanted to respect her wishes and give her space if she needed it. I just didn’t know she would stop contacting me after that. I’m not sure what I should do. I love and care for her deeply and she has shown willingness to change and get better as she is, to my knowledge, still in therapy. I‘ve tried getting her to respond but she is really good at ignoring me. I noticed my messages are still getting delivered so she hasn’t blocked me. She is still active on social media and has not blocked me on any platforms too. She even occasionally views my story which give me hope that maybe she will reach out once summer break starts.