I've never posted on this sub,and I'm nervous to because I don't like to talk about this stuff, but i need some advice and i'm defiantly not going to ask family/friends. With BPD my need to be loved has gotten worse recently, I have always fallen for random people or friends who are not interested, and when they don't reciprocate my feelings I would get irrationally depressed.

This was never the case for friends though, sure I wanted everyone to like me and would get upset when they didn't. However now a days, if someone shows the slightest hint of uninterest or dislike towards me, it hurts so much and I think about it for ages. I'm constantly checking people for any sign of dislike, even strangers. I never confront people because I'm cowardly like that and a worry that they will get weirded out.My anxiety is at a constant high as well, due to this. I'm really not sure how to cope with this, I feel like i'm not in control.