It seems like there is this huge part of me that is willing to and can be very successful and for the most part I have obliged that.

However , not without near mental breakdowns and crippling somatic symptoms that feel like someone is choking me.

I feel like my body and soul are capable of great things, but my mind is feeble and weak.

Its like I set my self up because I work hard, have some smarts, and care enough, but I cant actually follow through because my brain shuts down.

If I was just a loser this would be easier to accept but the pressure mounts as I continue to appear to do well. I can’t take the pressure man… it’d be easier to quit if I just failed but I didn’t…

Why can my brain be smart enough to achieve something like a degree but too gosh darn anxious to get a job with it? What’s even the point then?