Can I even call it that if it's like... everyday? (I'm kidding).

I'm the only person with Borderline I know and today I'm really, really struggling. Nothing too specific other than realizing I gotta be me for the rest of my life which is... a lot. I can't stand the thought of my emotional instability inconveniencing/ upsetting/ hurting another person so lately I've been really isolating myself. This apparently isn't helping but it's so exhausting to interact with other people I'd prefer to just be alone. I had more or less of a "freak out" with a family member earlier and I'm a little embarrassed for unloading like that, I'm so tired of having to explain myself to people who think they truly care about me but seem to think BPD is just me not doing something to help myself. Trust me, if yoga was the answer, don't you think I'd do it? 

I don't know what the point of this post was. I just feel lost and sad and I have no idea what to do with myself. 