I literally can't think of anything else that will make everything better. I want to die so I don't have to find new friends and watch me fuck it up and lose them again. I want to die so I don't have to keep seeing my old best friends get closer to each other and keep me completely cut out. I want to die so I don't have to torture the 1 person I have with my mental health. I want to die because I don't want to cry anymore. I don't want to feel the pain anymore. I don't want to go to work where everyone thinks I'm a piece of shit because my old best friends also work there. 

I'm worthless. I can't get better. There are no other options. I can't find even one thing to make this seem doable. 