So just like every weekend I go stay with my fiancé on our boat. The weekend started out normally, we went to visit a friend in Far Rockaway, check out the work that my fiancé has to there and we met some of our friends kids. We went home and decided to just hang out there and relax. This is when everything started to creep in, suddenly I’m trying to get thoughts out of my head that he’s chatting with other people so now I go to say something s and I’m met with what I thought was an attitude but it wasn’t. Yea h my brain is going now. So bring in the next step? I am trying to find something and get him to pay attention so we all can do something together but it’s a flop. I try different things but I’m actually getting criticized for trying to be involved with the stuff that he’s doing right now. I want to be included cause I’m feeling like I’m not wanted nor do I feel like I’m even an important person in his life. And the wild overanalyzed projection thoughts move right on in and throw some major kick ass party that just takes over all normal thinking. So now to myself I’m this neurotic jealous stalking crazy person who believes that I’m not a priority to him or a first thought to him. He doesn’t care about my feelings, wants or needs as long long as he is happy and he’s satisfied. This continued at different speeds and importance throughout the whole weekend until the fat lady came to sing and it was all over I’m now having a full fledged panic attack because I had a vision and feeling that my fiancé and I were not actually meant to get married and be each other’s forever. We were only meant to be Mr &amp; Mrs Right Now we can most certainly forget that Mr &amp; Mrs Forever they were never meant to truly exist. We both completed the job that we were suppose to do, I was to come into his life to save it and get him back on the right path and he was to help me accept and love myself more so I would be able to take on my new adventure with my daughter in a different state. This vision felt so real to me that I became hysterical crying, I started to sob and gasp for air as well as shaking uncontrollably. I haven’t felt feelings with this much intensity since my dad passed away. I couldn’t believe how much it the thought of but the actual feeling of loosing him completely destroyed me. I had to call him while he was out working on our boat so I could try to calm down. I knew that I loved him like I’ve never loved another, the love that we share is intense we both have never felt anything like it before. Well I was told the other day that him and I are soulmates and are meant to be together. Well if my reaction to just getting the feeling like I was loosing him sent me into a full fledged panic attack I would hate to see what actually loosing him would do to me. That is something that I really don’t want to find out anytime soon.