i’ve stopped doing things that are more painful/scarring, but i still hit myself. i hit my head really hard with my hands or hit it against hard things like walls or door frames. my partner really hates when i do this and wants me to stop because he cares deeply about me. i want to stop for his sake, but i’ve realized part of me doesn’t want to. i think it’s because it’s cathartic in a way. it releases the self-hatred inside me and carries out the “punishment” i feel like i deserve. sometimes it makes me cry so hard. another thing is, sometimes the emotional pain inside is so great that i feel like it needs to manifest as physical pain to prove itself as real. i know my self-hatred is at the core of this all, and i’m trying to work on it. if anyone has any tips to stop yourself from self-harming when the urge is really overwhelming, i would greatly appreciate them.