I’ve been having the worst 2 weeks of my life. I started getting really overloaded with my GAD symptoms and quickly descended into not being able to work at all. Then last Saturday, I had one of the worst panic attacks of my whole life. I legitimately thought I was going to die. Come to think of it, I have really bad health anxiety especially concerning my heart. I was checking my pulse and I was extremely sleep deprived. I saw my pulse go up and boom I was at 150 or 160. I’m very fixated on this one particular thing that’s been mentioned a couple of times briefly about my ECGs but no doctor has felt it was serious or anything. I had to call an ambulance and my partner was extremely freaked out. Once I got into the ambulance and took a few deep breaths my pulse went down to 108 or something. I went to the hospital and they told me everything was okay. They gave me Ativan which I reluctantly took but still felt anxious even with the Ativan! I came back to the ER and I’m sure the Doctor was not pleased lol. He told me my heart is fine once again and sent me on my way. The next day I felt a little better and my partner and I hung out. I then proceeded to have another panic attack in the car and had to take an Ativan. I got more freaked out when I was high and was almost inconsolable until my partner got me to my mom’s. I managed to fall asleep. I think the trigger then was that we were driving home and I didn’t want to go back to our house where I would be reminded of that panic attack. Prior to this as well, I’ve been in our apartment pacing back and forth for days in a row and freaking out. My apartment started to feel unreal and like a prison. I haven’t gone back there since. We’re at my mom’s now. Then yesterday, both my mom and partner left for work and I had another really intense panic attack when my GP told me that he couldn’t help me with antidepressants and felt I should go to the hospital for rapid assessment by a psychiatrist. I panicked again so bad that my mom had to leave work and meet me at the hospital. The whole day my panic was through the roof and I spent most of the day in the ER waiting to see if I could see the psychiatrist. I felt terrible for taking up people’s time there since it’s been hell with covid. I ended up not being able to see the psychiatrist because it’s only for inpatient but they got me an urgent referral to see them in the next few days so that was really great of them. Last night I actually came back to myself for a bit and just hung out with my mom and partner. It took me a minute to trust that when I was falling asleep I wasn’t going to die in my sleep. I really hope to nip this in the butt so that I’m not having anymore panic attacks. I really don’t want to develop panic disorder on top of my GAD and other mental health issues. 

They told me not to focus too much on when/where/if I get another panic attack. It’s hard not to though when they just feel so incredibly intense.