I need to tell a little background story before I digg into the core of my problem. I hope you stay patient with me, and read it all.
I never thought I had to ask for advice in a forum as an adult woman in my 30's, but here I am. 

I used to be "the ugly duckling" growing up, and I was bullied alot. When I passed 25 things changed drastically. I lost a lot of weight and by the time I turned 30, I was better looking then I had ever been in my whole life. I had a lot of male friends for many years. It was easier, cause they spoked their minds and I always knew where I stood and what to expect from them. It was just easy and uncomplicated. 
When my looks changed, this became a huge problem. I couldn't have male friends anymore, cause no matter what i did, they ended up falling for me, and they got hurt. I hate hurting people.

I moved to the same street my mum lives in about 6 months ago. Prior to this I visited her now and then, and It came to my attention that the guys working at the pharmasy where she lives is very good looking. They run a family business, so most of the people working there, is family. When I came there before I moved, they were all nice and even on the edge to flirty sometimes. 

I have to go to the pharmacy 3 times a week due to a medical condition after several surgeries gone bad.(acute surgeries in my guts which has made my guts pretty toasted.) This pharmasy is the only pharmasy close to us. It's a long way to the next one. 

BACKGROUND TOLD, LET'S DIGG IN:

When I started to use the pharmasy as my regular go-to pharmasy, everything worked fine. They all acted nicely, but after they knew I moved, it was a little strange atmosphere when I was there. Two of them particularly  was acting very flirty. (I think they're brothers, but I'm not 100% sure.) I've started to be quite good to recognize flirting over the years. It was almost like a competition between these two for my attention when I came in. It's very hard to explain.
I'm flirty by nature, but I never put any "game" to it, if that makes sense. One of the guys started to stand out more and more, and I found him very attractive.  
I always thought it was very nice to go to the pharmasy, cause it always made me feel good walking out of there. It was a nice way to start my day. I miss those days.
One time, when I was at the counter with the one I found most attractive, -let's call him Moss, a good looking male family member my age came in and stood by me and talked to me.(they had never seen him before) Moss froze and started acting very weird and even had to leave the counter and give my order to someone else. He looked really shooken up. He walked to the back of the store where Noone could see him.
Moss always used my name several times every time he took my order. (My mum has used the pharmasy for years and knows the place very well. Better then me, but not once have I heard him say her name.)
The last month before the bad shit that happened, Moss was pretty much the only one taking my orders.

SO TO WHERE THINGS WHENT STRAIGHT TO H**L:

One night at home, I was having some anxiety, and I hadn't slept for days. I have this now and then, and usually just take a pill and go to sleep,and everything's better in the morning.
But I was out of my meds, so I asked my mum to borrow from her.(she also has anxiety now and then.)
She didn't have the one I used, but she had something similar. I was sleeping at my mums house that day.
I took the pill, and whent to sleep -or so I thought....
Next day when I "woke up" my mum told me that the pill had made me react very badly. Instead of getting tired and go to sleep, I got very energic and didn't sleep at all! She told me I had these weird ideas and I was just not myself at all. I found out that i had a 16 hour blackout window!!
I got really worried and checked my phone. Oh.my.God.. 
I had written so many texts that I would never in a million years write!!  I saw replies to things I would never ever talk about,say, or even think!
I started checking my apps and... yeah you guessed it.
I texted Moss.🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
I freaked out completely and only saw the first sentence of the message and that he had read it before I deleted it. I was in panic mode!!
The ony sentence I saw before deleting was: hey Moss! I hope you don't find this unapproapiate....
And that's it.
I wrote an apology to him saying I never ment to text him, and that I would try to avoid the pharmacy in the future. That I would never text him again.  I also told him I had a blackout due to reaction from an anxiety pill my mum gave me, and that I had no idea what I had written to him, and that I preferred to never know. I finished saying I hoped he some day could laugh of it and find it flatteting that I thought if him duing a blackout, but that I didn't mean to do this, and that I hoped we could just put it behind us.
He never responded to either texts, but he read them both.

I sendt my mum to the pharmasy the first week.
Then I got mad because he at least could have told me that it was nothing to worry about, and just stay professional, so I desided to go back, cause I knew I eventually had to. At the time I texted him I didn't know that the next pharmacy was that far away, but once I realised, I knew I just had to "woman up" and go back.

The first days I whent back was a fucking nightmare. I felt like All but 1 of them was avoiding me and not looking me in the eyes. I wasn't really looking much at them either tbh. I was just trying to cope with myself. I saw Moss the first couple days I was there but he was keeping a distance.
After this I didn't see him. Took me a while to realize that he was actually hiding!! Yes.. he was f*****g hiding. The way I realised this was that he was out on the floor in the pharmacy one time I came, but when he saw me he froze and ran to hide I'm the back of the pharmacy. 
This kept going for 2 weeks. I saw him run away several times.
I wish he'd just act like nothing happened but stayed professional.  It would have made things alot easier on me.
I'll admit that I was extremely uncomfortable going in, and it was probably written all over my face from day 1.
After 2 weeks I started to feal comfortable again cause I didn't really have to deal with him, and the others was acting nice again. Things whent back to normal ÷Moss.
But just as I started getting comfortable, the snake crawled out from hiding. He started circling around me, looking at me and glancing at me when I wasn't looking, but I could see it in the corner of my eyes. 
Then he started looking at Me when I looked at him, but only a few seconds before I looked away.
Them he started smiling at me, and I smiled back. After this, he said hi and smiled, and I did the same. 
So far so good. Right?
No.
I was freaking out a little every single time.
I wasn't ready to confront him or going to his counter.
After he "came out from hiding, I had avoided it 3 times already. He was clearly trying to get me to his counter.(they were always 2 in the counters. If Moss had a customer but the other didn't, I whent straight to the one who didn't have a coustomer. When Moss didn't have a customer I walked around looking in the store before taking a ticket when i saw another customer go to Moss, and was called to the other counter etc. I was avoiding him cause I still felt so ashamed about the message.
I honestly thought about avoiding him for the rest of my life 🙈
3 days of avoidance and I was forced into a corner.
And that made me make a total idiot of myself. Again.
I didn't have a choise. 
I whent to the pharmacy to pick up my order, but Moss was the only one sitting in a counter. The other one stood a little behind him just observing the situation, but he had no intentions of helping me. 
They knew exactly the time I came, so it was easy to predict. (I always pick up my order at 9 am)
As I walked in I froze.  Just a little. I looked around, observing the situation, but Moss called out for me. He told me to come to his counter.
I didn't really have much of I choise without looking like an idiot.
I could feal my heart rising. I was fucking terrified!! But I desided that I needed to do this and just get it overwith. 
I walked up to him and started telling him what I was there to pick up, but my voice sounded so damn dry. My mouth was a desert and I could hear that he heard it. I was having a hard time to speak. He was smiling, but acting a little flirty but weird, while i was building up to a f****ng panick attack! In his counter!🤯
He was acting strange. I saw he was struggling aswell, just repeating exactly what I said over and over, not able to look at me for long at the time.  If that was because I was struggling or if he had his own issues I'm not sure.
My heart raised so fast. My mouth was dry. I started having big problems breathing. I got dizzy.. thoughts rasing through my head. I had to leave... I had to just tell him I couldn't do this and walk away. That - or faint on the floor of his store...😳
I swear he could hear this panic breathing. I turned away, just facing sideways with my face towards the exit, trying to get control of my betraying body.
It took about 2 minutes, and then I managed to remember to breath deeply and I managed to get control. I was able to act completely normally after this and smiled when I walked away, but I felt like a disaster. 
After ignoring him for weeks I got an anxiety attack infront of him!!? 
I've worked at moving on from making a fool out of myself only to make a fool out of myself🤦‍♀️

This is as far as this story goes. 

What I need help with is figuring out how to deal with this situation, with my anxiety, but also get some thoughts about what's going on in his head.
Cause I don't get it.
Why was he hiding??
Why is HE acting weird? 
Why was he unable to act professional?
And why us he struggling now? Is my bodylanguage enough to throw him off?
What's going on here??
It's damn comfusing and I just need this to be ok again so that I don't have to feal this bad every time I go there and for hours after. 

I appreciate any advice on how to handle myself and ideas you might have to why he's acting this way, cause it makes no sense to me.

Thank you for reading to the end!
❤