**Not diagnosed bpd not sure if I have it.
**I might be a mixed of many PD. Or I could NPD with aspd traits and bpd traits and paranoid not sure entirely.

I'm constantly stuck in negative thinking everyday and every second. It happens by my daydreams of conflicts, the tv shows I watch like twd and you. I have the same shitty habits, repetitive thinking patterns and listen to sad music. I avoid success, improving myself and I fear failiure, not doing good in college, scared of people laughing at me. I have no friends, girlfriend or healthy social skills. I was a huge asshole to some people that are or were close to me, time to time I still am. On this path with my laziness and negativity I could be giving myself alzheimers. It's bad. Everything I think, it follows me by telling I'm worthless, hidden shame and shame and shame. I dont think I was ever loved from my view. Everyday I have no desire to do anything since I was young.