is there a way to let go of past misfortunes that has shaped your life?
no matter how many years has passed, i keep going back to justify my failure and blame it on my misfortune, which is partly true but not helpful, if anything it only makes me feel trapped and suicidal

although i realize my “misfortune” isn’t the worse but i feel it affected me to the point of feeling that life isn’t worth living, acknowledging my misfortune was a bad idea that made me lose the one motivator in my life (affection to family), i lived a much better life when i ignored it. I wanted to go back to that mindset of ignoring everything but I couldn’t

I’m asking for practical advice, has anyone tried any useful exercise? like the ones you get in anxiety books
or any advice would be helpful 
I got a lot better with time but I’m still not my old self