I don't even feel like I exist rn. I can't really concentrate because it's hard to form words. It almost feels somewhat comfortable being in a state of total numbness but it's also a little bit distressing. 

I've heard that people with BPD can have mild psychotic symptoms when they are stressed. I was diagnosed around 4 months ago. Everything feels like it's moving way too fast but also like I'm in a dream, like it's not happening at all. For the record, I don't use any substances. 

I'm just confused and I feel a lot of emotions boiling under the surface but the most prominent is a sense of longing. When I get really stressed I sometimes believe that my imaginary friend is real. I don't physically hear / see them but I feel like they exist inside my head. 

Idk man. I'm just so tired but I don't have insurance so I'm screwed kinda. Should I call a crisis line or something? Thanks, sorry if this was disjointed.