I often implode rather than explode. I’m very successful at hiding my symptoms and keeping the mask of being fine on. When I do open up enough to people to tell them that I have bpd I’m often met with disbelief and disregard. I get the usual; but u don’t self harm. But u aren’t pregnant. But u don’t do drugs. But u seem so fine. And it’s very sad that my pain and suffering isn’t acknowledged simply because I don’t have outbursts. It’s very unhealthy for me to revive those reactions and every time I experience others disbelief it pushes me closer and closer to doing something reckless and just throwing all of my self control to the wind if it means people will finally believe that I’m not okay. As long as I’m not driving my car off a bridge apparently that means I’m fine. Verbally telling people that I’m not fine is seen as just a cry for attention when really it’s a cry for help. No ones gonna believe me until their belief is just too late.