why am i not welcome anywhere by anybody like no one genuinely cares about me as much as i care about them and im back in my paremts house because i have nowhere else to go and theyre drinking again and its just back to the same abusive situation i got out of last year and my mental illness is becoming too much to handle and i want to die i just sliced up my leg after not self harming for well over a year and now i cant stop its all too much i just cant do anything i ruin everything why does this always happen