Wow, I am a massive bitch. 

I was depressed all day yesterday because it did finally hit me that he's way too good for me and I'm a worthless blob of mass 

He told me hes there to listen to me so I told him what's up. I kept it light as its still early days 

I told him I'm insecure, I isolate myself from people, how I was in an abusive relationship previously that was pretty bad, how I get depressive episodes 

He was kind...so kind...I just felt so....hollow

"Everyone gets like that sometimes"

He told me a story about how he had an emotional day, made cupcakes and posted about how he made them and all his friends wanted some so he went to the pub they all had cupcakes....he's already told me that story 

I get where he's coming from and it has a good message but I don't have friends that would be like "Hey let's all meet up and eat cupcakes!" 

It felt like that's his "go-to" story 

"Yeah we all isolate ourselves, I did the same when my nanna died and in a few months I realised reaching out to people around me really helped"

Yeah but I isolate myself on an almost monthly basis

I realised...he didn't get it and I actually expected way too much from him 

I cannot believe I'm here like "omg he actually sat and listened to me..what an asshole"

I fucking hate myself