tw // drug use

I found out that the guy I’m seeing has used many drugs in the past, and he still does. It’s on a semi-regular basis, meaning he does it maybe once every few months or so when he’s at a party. He’s done shrooms, ecstasy, coke and a little bit of acid, but I’m pretty sure he typically goes for ecstasy and coke.

On the other hand, I am completely sober. Because of my mental health, I have bad reactions to smoking and drinking, so I completely stopped doing those. Drugs terrify me because I’ve only heard about bad experiences and had bad experiences myself/around people who do them. He reassured me that he is safe when he does it and has only had positive experiences.

We ended up coming up with a compromise: he can drink, smoke and do shrooms but ecstasy and coke are off the table. Neither of us are super happy with it, but it allows both of us to sacrifice a little. 

The only problem is that I can’t stop thinking about him breaking his promise to me. Drugs make me incredibly anxious and I’m worried about him becoming addicted or doing something to harm me while he’s on them. Does anyone know what I can do to ease my anxiety?

tl;dr: guy i’m seeing does drugs, i do not because they make me anxious, we agreed he could do some but not others, i’m still anxious about it and need help