I never thought anything about my depressive episode cycles, daily mood swings, constant anxiety, social phobia - and along the way through the weeks and years new struggles and issues popping up - would get better, I thought I would always be that way, completely fucked up and my life would be nothing but misery and fighting a losing war with my mind. Fast forward a couple years and I'm by no means cured of any of that, I'm not perfect, nor would I say I conquered anything so far, but I'm doing a lot better. I love myself and the mistakes I've made throughout life, because I've forgiven myself for them and they've taught me invaluable skills and lessons that I can use to make myself a better person always. 

Every day I still struggle with general and social anxiety, depressive urges and ideations, a lot of the usual BPD symptoms and baked in personality dysfunctions, but overall, I would definitely say I'm in a better place and I feel a lot more "normal" and stable most days. I haven't touched hard drugs or even weed in, man, probably like a year now, other than a couple times with a friend. I haven't self harmed in almost two years now. I still have a problem with eating enough food, maybe it's a remnant of anorexia from almost two years ago, or maybe that's just how I am, but I've been putting an effort into eating more lately and am happily eating weight and getting back into weight lifting.

I haven't seen a therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, taken any meds other than the very sporadic 0.25mg xanax, but I do take a natural antidepressant and mood lifting supplement, another natural supplement for anxiety, and a thyroid support, as well as some other vitamins all every day, and they make a huge difference, no bullshit, you need to stick with it every day for at least a month to see a real difference from when before you started. I'd be happy to share what I'm using if someone cares to know.

I haven't even put what I consider to be a lot of effort into getting better, in fact, I regret not having seen a PDoc or a Therapist in all this time again to really speed up healing and be even better, but despite everything, I am a lot better and feel like I am beginning to be on the winning side of a battle in life. 

I never thought I'd feel better or be anything close to normal and functioning, but here I am. Again, I'm not excellent, but I feel more secure with myself, confident, mentally and physically stronger, severe anxiety and major depression is mostly a thing of the past for me. This is possible for everyone, for you, all it takes is time to learn about yourself and many things that add to your life, and a dedication to seriously start trying to help yourself.