I hate that I have no self control. I’m destroying the last remaining friendships that I have. 

Two friends and I are in a group chat and one of them has been getting really close to someone who they never even met (online friendship) and I feel like Shes changing :/ she keeps talking about him (online friend) and it’s getting old and annoying. She constantly send their OWN INSIDE JOKES to a group chat that he’s not even in and usually I disregard it and change the subject because how are we supposed to respond to that?? She constantly talks and talks about him and the second we (my other friend who’s in the gc and I) ask what about him she gets all secretive and defensive. I’ll admit that I do feel jealous because it was nice when it was just the three of us who were close and I feel like I’m being replaced. Today in our gc I got really petty and became passive aggressive with her because she wouldn’t stop she kept making the subject about him and she kept sending screenshots of her messages with him and their call logs which were hours long. I hated her so much in that moment. This anger then led me to explode on another close friend of mine. I blew up on him because he said something that just set it all off for me. I told him to never talk to me again and how he’s mean and that I hate talking to him. Now that the damage is done I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to talk to anyone now and I just really need to distance myself again. As of right now I feel completely nothing. I let my feelings and emotions get the best of me once again.