My wife abd I are 30. We lost a best friend to a brutal car jacking and abduction 4 years ago, he was 32. My wifes grandmother who raised her passed away 6 months ago which hit her hard. Two weeks ago her sister died suddenly from a stroke at 30. 

My wife had a traumatic childhood that left her with chronic depression and anxiety. She is sometimes suicidal and tells me if she loses anyone else she can't go on. Her grandfather is going to pass soon. He is in not the best health and only getting older. I'm really scared for the storm that will bring.

I am most terrified I will somehow die as well and she will end it. We were in a high impact car wreck that left me with panic attacks, that we believe manifested from not dealing with my friends murder emotionally. His death and her sisters have me terrified I will be taken out as well. I understand life happens and people die, but her sister has two babies and their dad died last year from overdose at 30. It has just really hit me how fragile life is and how quickly our story can cut to black. 

I dont want to die and I don't think I will. I'm not scared to die, but again I of course don't want to. I think life is beautiful, but I am scared of death for my wife's life. How can I make my inner me rationalize I most likely will not die at an early age?