Without a doubt, my number one symptom and obstacle associated with BPD is dissociation.  The almost constant feeling of detachment. My brain is so damaged that I literally have to separate and protect myself from my own mind.  It's hard for me to function on a daily basis. I constantly feel like I'm in a haze, like I can't focus or think straight. Like there's something altering my vision. Do others of you have a better way of describing this feeling? However different it may feel to each of us, we can mostly agree that it is a certain hell. The ways in which this disorder personally effect me are too many to mention. I suffer from severe anxiety, like most of you. Overcoming the anxiety includes the literal paralyzing fear that consumes my physical being. I feel numb, tingly, as if I would float away. I've learned numerous grounding techniques to help with this feeling. Though, the constant 'paralysis' makes it hard to actually practice said techniques. I am overcome by fatigue and ailments. I literally cannot hold my eyes open sometimes. This makes having two children under three years old quite difficult. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of the 'boo-who' crippling depression and the alienating nature of my disorder. This is all after nine months of intensive interventions and continued therapy. I've learned enough to have surely been cured by now. I'm accepting I'll never be cured, only improved. Despite my setbacks, hopefully improving every day. The severe depersonalization is just really discouraging and scary to me right now. 