So like, I had a situation over the weekend. It's been 5 days since. I've been handling it very well. No self harm, no drugs, 3 beers (I'm a lightweight and never really had an issue with alcohol). I go workout, I work, I watch some Netflix, and sleep. I got back on tinder and been chatting with a few girls. It hurt, a lot, but I've kinda just shrugged my shoulders about it and gone, "shit/life happens. Whatcha gonna do." Bout it. I haven't spiraled out. I've been ... Ok.

Very fuckin odd. Last girl I dated I ended up in the hospital when it went South and it was much more tame than this time. 

It got me thinking. With this girl, I was being "sickeningly" healthy. I was boring the shit out of myself how healthy I was being, frankly. But I was happy, so fuck it. I was treating her very well, doing right by her and not being a bad person to be around. I, for the first time, thought, "I'd actually like to be me".

Bout 12 weeks ago, I fucked up. Bad. Very pivotal moment for me.  I compromised a moral value of mine that wrecked me. Like, it was the last straw for me. I stopped the drugs, I started working out, and being "healthy". Over night I seem to have dropped all of my bad habits/behaviors and shit. 12 weeks straight I have been what I would consider "recovered". I've simply refused to be anything but "decent". Depression tries to creep in, I slapped the depression and tell it to fuck off. I don't welcome it. Episode tries to start up, my head tries to fuck with me, I slap it and tell it to fuck off. I don't welcome it. For some reason I feel like everything will be ok. Like I'm make it through this and I'll be ok.

I don't know how to explain it, but ever since that fuck up I've been .... Good. It feels like I spontaneously recovered at the snap of a finger.

Is there something I should be watching? Like do I just keep this going and don't think about it or am I in the eye of the storm, so to speak and I'm not seeing the trouble ahead of me?