Gooooooooood. I just wish this constant pain of triggered emotions at night would ALLOW me to sleep. You know what sucks about anxiety? The fact that it brings up shit from years ago and still finds a way to haunt you. I still feel some sort of way towards family members, friends, exes.... because of the way I’ve reacted and allowed things to just “happen” and was taken advantage of. Things i can’t control. Thinking everyone is out to get me. Thinking no one can be trusted. It’s so painful. No one will ever understand this feeling of resentment and anxiousness over so many past situations. Even present and future ones. I wish it would stop. I wish it would all go away. I never fall into a deep sleep. I’m always awake. Always anxious. Always sad. Always in pain. I can’t even explain my pain to anyone. I could write for hours and hours and it still would not be enough.