I don't know what to do.

Two months ago I moved to a new city across the country, far away from all of my friends and family and support in search of a better life. it has been hard and I ended up staying in a backpackers with nowhere to go. Finally, I found a room in a beautiful apartment with a great roommate. 


in this short period of time, my roommate has been thought a lot. I have been extremely supportive, kind and caring and overall an excellent roommate. she even says so herself that I am a great person to live with. she has rather extreme anxiety and everytime she has been upset, I have brought her water, her cigarettes, bins to vomit in. i helped her sign paperwork for the house she's buying in another country. we got covid together and I looked after her when her partner refused. 


i also have anxiety and mdd. it's currently pretty well managed, and I haven't had any attacks around her, nor have I put any pressure on her to help care for me. i am medicated and stable. 


despite my efforts to care for her and not let my mental health affect her, today she decided to wait until she knew I was working at my brand new job to text me to say she doesn't want to live her anymore. her reasoning was that the fact that I talk about having anxiety (we have had a lot of deep conversations) and take medication every day is triggering her anxiety. 


she has suggested I move within a week. 


i am shocked. we have had conversations where we explicitly promised to be open and honest with each other and speak face to face about any issues we might have to prevent *something like this happening.* 


i am potentially going to be homeless again because I manage my mental illness and she is struggling. 


now, of course, I AM having anxiety. I replied to her that we needed to talk about this in person and her reply was that she's out caring for a pregnant friend tonight (understandable) and that I *might* see her tomorrow. shes avoiding me, probably because she knows how unfair, cruel and cowardly her actions are. 


i don't know what to do. 


i can't win. 


when my mental illness is not under control, people don't want to live with me, which i totally get and would not expect them to. but now it is and I'm being told to leave my house because she couldn't just ask me to stop mentioning my medication? this is fucked up. 


i am exhausted. clearly, nothing I do is good enough.