I don't know whether this is the right place, if my post here is inappropriate then remove it.

I'm always so lost within my own head, i struggle to find my way back to reality. I usually daydream for a good part of my day, leaving task unfinished. I keep struggling to be in touch with reality, i feel like i'm living in autopilot, and this evening i felt like i woke up, after 2/3 months in which i've been mostly detached from my feelings. This summer I avoided most of my friends, everybody feels so empty,  i've just happily see a couple of them but for the most part i feel like they were empty. In my childhood i've been a victim of bullism, and in the past 3 months i've tried to remember all the things that happened to me and i felt nothing, dismissed everything as trivial and unable to affect me, usually i would've felt something, but nothing, i felt damn nothing. Recently i've been operated on my shoulder as i dislocated it 4 times in the last 4 yrs. I'm also way behind with University and i'm a burden to my family , unable to keep up with University and my family has to spend money on such a catastrophic foolish guy, in spite of its financial problems (they don't seem to care that i've fallen behind but i know this is delusional...). I keep feeling like i can defy gravity and float way away, but when i havr to get back to the ground i struggle to reach it, and after i barely reached it, i try to walk but i bounce for the weird gravity, and i'm always left directionless like a blind man painting...