ive been depressed for awhile but its started to get pretty bad, my boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago and i was already depressed but now its like.. bad, 

terrible depressing thoughts, laying in bed all day, no energy, barely existing. just holding on. its a scary place to be. i dont recognize myself in the mirror. everythings changed, i dont know how much longer i can hold on. i finally paid my insurance so i can see a physciatrist next month but it seems so far away, also my brain is convincing me that they wont be able to help me and im going to be stuck in this mind forever, and that scares me so much. 

i find myself feeling scared alot. hopeless, anxious, worried that im going to feel like this forever. 

idk