I believe I’m experiencing Truman Show Delusion. 

In short, TSD is the delusion that you are secretly the subject or “star” of a candid reality show. 

This started approx. a year ago, when i was in jail for a couple months for a probation mishap (DUI). Some pretty stressful and embarrassing things happened to me the last few weeks.  I won’t go into detail, but basically it involved several COs and other inmates essentially trying to “break” me, so that I wouldn’t pursue PREA or sexual harassment charges. 

When I got out, I thought it was finally over. But within a day or two, I became convinced that something else was going on. I believed I was constantly under surveillance, and eventually that my surveillance feed was being broadcasted on different media outlets online. I would make coincidences into connections and became confident that what I was noticing was proof and evidence of what was happening. 

I've been under extreme stress daily this last year, because I constantly believe I'm being watched and scrutinized at all times. Zero privacy. Ive literally "no fapped" this whole year because of this. I haven't been able to do anything productive to show, other than helping family and friends with things. I'm constantly just so stressed and anxious and want this to stop, that I can't focus on anything else. Haven't worked the entire year.

Ive tried talking to a few different people about this, but none of them have any idea how to react, or what to say about it. Early on I figured that people around me had all been obligated via a NDA to not talk about what was happening to me. 

The whole time, I thought when it ended, I would be rewarded a large sum of money for royalties, so I was not worried about my financial situation. Now that I trying to accept that none of this was real, I realized that I'm at square one again financially, and am f\*cked! I've passed up several good job offers this year under this belief. I believed old friends were only contacting me now that I was "famous" or infamous. 

I know this sounds completely ridiculous, and that it's extremely illogical. However I CANNOT shake this belief. I have been literally waiting this last year for this to come to an end, and for things to finally be unveiled. But it doesn't end. I suppose because there’s nothing to “end.”

I was sober again for a bit over 8 months after I got out. Got involved again in 12 step. However the last few months I resorted to drinking heavily daily, to deal with the stress of this. 

I do not have any history of mental illness or psychosis. No known mental illness in my family.   
I have experienced doubts of sometimes severe depression throughout my life, but nothing special.  
I have gone to the psych ER about 6 months ago, but I’m not sure if the Dr even believed me? They just discharged me immediately.

I think maybe it's related to PTSD from what happened in jail, as well as some traumatic things that happened even before. I think maybe it's a form of cognitive dissonance, to make sense of my 8-year long relationship ending shortly before me going to jail. Also a way for my brain to cope with coming back to my family as essentially a failure, despite some success early on. 

I can understand this rationally, but just cannot shake this belief. 

I'm miserable.  

If anyone has any experience with something like this, PLEASE HeLP.