Hey guys

&amp;#x200B;

I am currently 18 years old, back home visiting from college after my first semester. I love it there, my life overall is good but obviously, my mood does swing here and there as we know, we are bipolar. I broke up with my ex-girlfriend during my first week of college around September. She was the typical fucked up girlfriend you could imagine, a shit load of trauma, full of manipulative tactics, gaslighter, emotionally draining and avoidant-attachment style of love, whilst I was anxiously attached. Don't get me wrong i went through a lot in this relationship, but more so after than during, because when you are manipulated that harshly you only start to learn and realize once you detach from that person, that for me was breaking up with her. I am grateful I went through that because I learned a lot about myself, life and relationships. However, after we broke up a couple of months she fucked her only friend left, who was my close friend. She literally used to call him ugly, make fun of how he was probably closeted, and all this kind of shit. But then she fucks him?! There is nothing to love about either of the people and i DONT UNDERSTAND WHY SHE IS TRYING THIS HARD TO GET TO ME I KNOW SHE ISNT OVER ME BUT THIS SHIT JUST LIVES IN MY HEAD, IM SO FUCKING ANGRY, MY EGO IS HURT, I AM HURT AND I FEEL DISRESPECTED. I am such an accomplished person and Ive done loads for myself yet its always the stupid shit like this that interrupts the momentum of my day. I dont know what to do or think sometimes, all I feel is anger and embarrassment, I truly dont know how to move forward because i have so many healthy thoughts about as well as dangerous temptations to seek revenge. I just really want to move on from the things she did to me and is trying to still, I don't love her anymore, I don't have respect for her anymore, I don't give a fuck if she hangs herself, I don't care, all i want is my own peace because ultimately the only person who will always be in my life is me. Part of me is just shocked she did that because she didnt seem that petty, yes of course she can fuck whoever she wants, she is single, but I know her well, she did that cause he just gave her the slightest bit of attention and she fell for it and on top that she wanted to send me a message. On top all this, he snap chatted me and started telling me how good it was, guys im so fucking angry please help me im so scared of myself. I just cant live with these unhealthy thoughts, I am already working on myself but this is the one thing that stills bothers me. Am I making progress in my life? Of course. But could i do better and move on from this? Of course, I dont know who though.