TW: mentions of abuse 
I’m having a really hard time with everything for a while now. And I feel like I don’t have a good support system. A little background story so my birth mom was extremely abusive physically mentally and emotionally through out my childhood. And she never really liked me. I always felt that she hated me and she would always treat my sibling way better than me . My sibling wouldn’t get abused in any way that I was which is a good thing cause I don’t want them to go through what I went through but because of that I grew very jealous of them. My birth mother abandoned us about 7+ years ago. And even afterwards it still caused me to always feel insecure around my sibling and that my parents loved them more than me or they didn’t like me. Anyways my dad married this woman who was really nice but she died of cancer a year into their marriage. Which was horrible cause she was really nice and I really liked her and we didn’t get a lot of time with her. Anyway then he married her sister which in the beginning I was very against it but then I grew fond of her and I even considered her like my own mother. Which was something I’ve never experienced before cause my birth mother was very abusive and not loving at all to me. Anyway my birth mom had bpd and she passed it down to me genetically is what the dr’s said to me. My bpd is very extreme in a lot of ways it makes it very hard for me to function a lot of the time. Which is very difficult for me. Anyway I got diagnosed about a year and half ago. And I’ve been seeing psychologists ever since to try and recover and heal and learn to manage my symptoms and try not to get overstimulated. Well anyway ever since seeing psychologists I’ve learned not to react a lot of the times when I’m with my family and someone says something. My mom has good intentions but a lot of the time she says it and it’s a bit rude or hurtful and I don’t even think she notices that and It causes me to go back to my room and have like a breakdown or a meltdown because I’m very sensitive. Anyway I’ve noticed that she recently has just stopped hanging out with me even when I come to talk to her she just blows me off meanwhile she talks and hangs out which my sister and it really hurts my feelings so I talked to her about 2 weeks ago and I said I would really like it if we could just hang out together have like a mom and daughter hangout we don’t even have to spend time with each other every day and it doesn’t even have to be the whole day it could just be 30 mins or an hour or whenever you’re free and she just said well most of the activities that we do involve us as a family so there nothing that involves just us. So I didn’t say anything we just hugged and she left over the next days we did spend a little time together. But every time I would hangout with her I’d just think about how she doesn’t want to spend time with me until “I’m no longer a borderline”. Basically my mom wants me to not be “sensitive” instead of just not controlling some of her hurtful comments. And that really hurts because I’m gonna be a borderline for the rest of my life my symptoms are just gonna be more manageable. But I’m still going to be a borderline. She even gaslights me when I get hurt by something and then says why are you so sensitive why are you like this your sibling is not like this. Which made me feel like I’m going crazy or that it’s all just in my head but then I started thinking and I was like wait but I don’t really get hurt by my dad cause he rarely says anything that’s hurtful so it’s not in my head but I I didn’t say that to her cause she would get mad and I’d get in trouble and made fun of for being sensitive when I literally have a disorder that makes me sensitive. Anyway so I started distancing myself a little not a lot because I felt unwanted and so I thought to myself why should I spend time with someone who doesn’t want to spend time with me. And when I would spend time with her she would kinda ignore me or not listen to me or look at her phone or tell me she’s going to the bathroom and literally I kid you not I’d be waiting for her in the living room and she’ll just be sitting in her room and then I feel stupid and rejected and I go to my room cry about it and never bring it up cause I don’t like confrontation and she’s not very easy to talk to like if I try to talk to her she turns it into an argument a lot of the time and so yeah. And I don’t really know what to do ya know I just want to have a healthy mother daughter relationship. I wanna have a strong bond with my mom I mean ever since I was little I’d see my friends and their moms hanging out or their moms being super nice to them and I’d get so jealous cause I wanted that same bond with my mom I still do. Do you thing I did something wrong here and if so how should I fix it?