After being jobless for a month I was doing DoorDash frequently and making alright money just to get by. I didn’t mind the gig because I was working alone and basically made my own schedule. After job hunting I finally was offered a job at a well known large retail company. Everything was going fine the first 3 days of computer training. Then the 4th day came along and it was time to go out into the floor. My job was basically to put together online orders for customers to pick up (theres 60 aisles in the store...) it also included a lot of confrontation :( lift and load heavy and large objects onto trucks or stock them on the shelf(the only part of the job I didn’t mind) and the whole time I’m running around the entire store trying to put together orders (WHICH HAS A SPECIFIC TIME TO BE FULL-FILLED BY I felt so pressured )the store is built like a warehouse customers are CONSTANTLY stopping me left and right for help and assistance that I know nothing about because I’m not assigned to any specific department and I was not trained on any specifics of any department. So I’m left clueless and confused and embarrassed that I can’t help them. NOW. To make matters worse, they practically just threw me to the wolves. I had 1 person to shadow he left after an hour because his shift ended and essentially left me standing there like a lost puppy. I didn’t know who anyone who was in my department because we are all spread out throughout this gigantic store. I had to take matters into my own hands and try and train myself on how to do this job.(the training videos were nothing like the actual job) I was struggling the entire time. I had zero clue where I was supposed to work in the store, who my department supervisor was and the store manager is nowhere to be seen. It was so disorganized and unprofessional in my opinion to have a newbie in a job position like this working alone. It angered me and upset me because I thought the job would be much different and I had high hopes. The entire work environment made me really uncomfortable and I knew once my shift ended I would not be returning. It’s unfortunate because I feel like I let a lot of people down my mom, dad, gf, etc. since they were so proud of me initially for going out and getting a job in the first place. But they don’t understand a job environment like that is not good for someone who has BPD because it had no structure. I need structure in order to succeed. This messy and disorganized first impression scared me off and I am no longer returning because of it. I’m kinda upset with myself too but I had to do what’s right for my mental health I just couldn’t deal with the lack of professionalism they had towards me. I would appreciate any nice words of advice at the moment. Thank you for hearing me out