The worst feeling I have is when I start to compare myself to other people. Everyone has cool stories to share, and I always think "when that person was doing this cool thing, I was home alone doing something stupid". I started going out way more, but I still feel like shit. Like when I'm trying my best, I'm still in my safezone. I try to get out of my safezone, and I succeed very often, but "hapiness" is still not kicking in, still feels irrelevant.  I cry a lot, and my heart hurts.