I've been like this before and I thought I got better but unfortunately I'm still living with my problem.
I'm fat not overweight but not as good as my mother would like not as thin as her favorite child.
I started loosing a bit of weight and it suddenly stopped going back and a Google search revealed I'm replacing fat with muscle which I don't mind. But it's not good enough for her. 
She's encouraging me to stop eating and to puke my food out so I can lose weight. The fun part is her whole family has a weight problem her mom and dad are both fat she's fat. 
If that wasn't enough she's urging me to go back to reading school stuff because my mangas are stupid and not helping me even tho her and my dad pulled me out of school so we could move and surprise surprise I've been at home for almost 2 years with little news about this moving.
She won't let me do what I like she's constantly guilt tripping me and calling me names and thankfully she's stopped hitting me. She's always saying how bad she got it from her mother and how I should be lucky I got her. My brother got lucky and died before he had the displeasure of seeing the ugly monster I have to deal with every single damned day.
I push through and I work hard and she ignores it or ruins it and I want to punch her for it. 
I'm so tired of them controlling my life but I can't leave because I don't know where to go. Everyone is saying oh you're 18 now you can legally leave her but where do I go. How am I going to survive out there. 
I'm dealing with thoughts of either killing myself or killing her to just be rid of it all. 
I don't want to get thinner I don't want to have to read if nothing is going to come out of it I just want to sleep and never wake up. Unfortunately I'm too much of a coward to off myself so instead I'll stew till I burst again. 

Thank you for listening to my Ted talk