I’m in such a deep, dark place. 
This bout of anxiety has lasted over a year and a half now, and I’m starting to lose hope. 
After trying literally everything (even hypnotherapy!) under the sun, I’m still here. My best friend is getting married and I’ve been the worst maid of honor. I can’t talk on the phone, I can barely muster enough energy to be excited when she talks to me about the wedding. It has been such an intense task to even plan her Bachelorette party. I feel awful I haven’t been there for her. 
My relationship with my boyfriend of over 4 years is so strained. He says it’s all ok and that he doesn’t mind that I’m having a hard time, but I know he must be tired of me crying constantly. He must be lonely.
I’m lonely. I’m lonely for myself. I feel so far away from the healthy person I once was. 
I feel so far away from everyone, even my cats. 
Sometimes my head and stomach just ache from the sadness and guilt and shame and fear and exhaustion of all of it. 
I’m just done.