Hey there. I was in a relationship with a girl who was few years younger than me. We were dating for like 7-8months. All of a sudden she started acting weird. She was just finding ways to end it. I tried my level best to save it, but i couldn't. How long can I hold on to someone who just wants to slip away?

So it was a cake walk initially. She was damn interested in me. I was not willing to be in a relationship because of few bad experiences in the past. This was after 5 years that I actually trusted someone. She kept approaching me and one day I finally said yes.

We started dating, the chats got intimate. She used to share her n$des and honestly I never asked her to send it. So it was all fun and smooth. I was told she wasn't dating anyone before me. Her being few years younger, I trusted her on that. So this breakup thing popped up last December. She just wanted to end it. I gradually figured out that she was getting way too close to one of her friends.

I talked to that guy to find out that she was in a relationship when she started approaching me. And she broke up with that guy a couple of months later. (We came close around March 2021 and she broke up with that old guy around May 2021. I had no idea about this.)

So further he added that she is currently dating another guy since November 2021. I was speechless. Later on I was told that she was using me as a rebound to get over the guy who wasn't treating her well. She got that respect, care and moral support from me which that older guy wasn't offering her. As i mentioned, she starred dating a guy again. Her friend further added, you cannot force her to love you right? Whatever happened, you cannot change it. She doesn't love you. She never did. I asked him who that new guy is but he didn't took his name. 

The same night I messaged her to tell me the name of the guy she is dating. And to my surprise it was the same guy I was talking to(her friend). I asked her that why didn't she told me about it? She told that she was terrified of me taking a bad step. She hinted on me attempting to harm myself and stuff. I wouldn't have done that ever, but i was told like this. I couldn't understand what's happening and I literally begged her to say all this is a lie and she actually love me. It didn't happen. I finally walked away. I had so many of her personal photos and videos which I deleted the very same night. I was heartbroken, shattered and motionless.

It's been more than a month now and I am really not doing good lately. Trying to divert my mind the best I could by indulging in activities which you can find in my account if you happen to stalk me. Nothing helps.

In addition to that, the intimacy part. I'm not feeling much aroused lately. Things went so intimate between us that I started imagining every such situations with her. Now that it was all a lie and I got myself invested in so much, I'm literally unable to move on. I know how badly I have been played with mentally and I know I can not do anything still I'm somewhat stuck in this trauma. 

She called it to be casual talk and not love. We were dating. She used to share her n$des and called them all as casual talk. It's really heartbreaking whenever something from the past pops up. I get motionless and feel like crying. I guess I am somewhat depressed while she is enjoying her life with the guy she is dating right now I guess. I was way too loyal for her, she was just a lier playing with my emotions. I find myself mentally disturbed. Every thing mostly reminds me of her and it's really hard to digest that it was all a lie and I was being used as a rebound. I'm writing it here just to let go some of the pain I'm currently going through.