My dad died a few weeks ago.  We were estranged from each other.  In my childhood, he was trying to get custody of me. He beat me, humiliated me and abandoned me.

Now, if I didn’t have a neurotic criminally minded mother who did the same to me, only on a longer time scale… I would say I was better off.

His 3rd wife game him a son.  That son died from drugs at the age of 30.  The universe put me in a place to be at his funeral.  You should have seen the number of people who were Shocked that he had another son.  He never told anyone.  Not even his new and improved son.  His wife new wife, kept the secret for 35+ years.

Anyway… he was a dark spot in my heart/brain.  But, I had to forgive the asshole, because I was fighting demons that no longer existed.

I have to say, my outlook has altered and I am at more peace than I have been in ‘forever’.  I’m not cured, but I am a better person to deal with now.

Now, the clocks ticking for mommy dearest.  I won’t attend that funeral… but I won’t forgive her either.  I believe, however, if this phenomenon continues, it will be a big win for me.  She didn’t just torture me, she tortured everyone around her.  Family tends to have a memory hole where other members are concerned, but they are going at a precipitous rate as well.

Unloading the mental baggage these people leave us with is key for this psychological niche.

Be at peace people.  You deserve it.