I dont even know how to start i think i just need some one to talk or listen because today i reach my limit. When covid started i work as a security agent in hospital and i saw some shit nobody should see (skip a couple of line if your lighthearted) like people taking there life in front of me and i was trying to save them but nothing worked there throat just emptied all there Blood on me, other people attack me with knife axe machete. I saw kid not older than 12 in complete panic because they got group rape and we had to keep her not moving so they coule run some test but she was so scared of us because she was thinking she getting raped again but we were here to help a seing this look on the face of a child is hard , and a lot of people died during that time after 3 month of working there a carried and tag 43 dead and i decided to stop counting. I could go on but the list is long. And all this time i never show any emotion anything but now that i dont work there anymore everything that pile up all the emotion the image the feeling just keep coming in my head and this last week I was not able to sleep at all because of ultra real dream of the hospital waking up in sweat. My car got wreck this week to and I don’t perfom really good at my new job. I’m lost I need some help. Everything is not going right . I need someone who understands to talk to . I don’t even want to go out of my house anymore