Was visiting my Moms house, her boyfriend invited me out to shoot his 22 with my nephews. I took a turn and when holding that revolver I seriously considered shooting the roof of my mouth. So easy, just to end it all. No pain, just a quick end to all pain, and doubt. 

I thought of the trauma I’d cause my nephews. I emptied the chamber on the target and went home. I’m 21 in a month, I’ll be able to get my CCP and buy a gun. Thinking about killing myself then. I’m not going to go anywhere with my life, an eternal sleep sounds pretty appealing.