Birthday night. Drank a fifth. Had a screaming, crying, thrashing meltdown in front of my fp and other people because I feel like she has abandoned me. Probably looked like I need an exorcist. Pretty sure i assaulted one of my only other friends because he's the one she abandoned me for. Although I'm fairly sure that she actually was treating me badly, if she hadn't abandoned me pre breakdown she definitely will now. Talk about self fulfilling prophecies. I've alienated everybody who cared about me. Im alternating between completely numb a inconsolably sad. I'm not worth this fucking nonsense 