Hi everyone, 

Big thank you to everyone in this thread, I truly appreciate this community as a way to share information and stories. 

Anyways I've been on antidepressants for 5 months. I've improved on these meds tremendously in terms of energy, self esteem, and motivation. But I have noticed my ruminating habits creeping back over the fear of death and others dying. 

Sometimes late at night I'll start thinking about what I am going to do when my parents pass, my brother, my pet, or freaking out about my own age. I worry and feel super guilty like I'm wasting away my life online or not spending enough time with everyone (even though I do see my family alot). It's an awful feeling. 

If anyone has advice or coping suggestions that'd be appreciated. I'm trying to find a therapist at the moment but my insurance is delaying the process.