Don’t you love waking up every day , to do the exact same thing ? I’m about to be 23, I feel that I was 18 last month. I have had this void , a very vast, deep, large void, but yet this void has a suffocating, gripping, and merciless hold on me. I have forgotten what it’s like to be me. I was the outgoing , care free , happy guy. Always going out and making friends, excited for the next day of wonders like a kid again. But today , and many days of the recent past are different. Looking , thinking , dreaming , wishing , imagining my life in a different place.. going out again, meeting new people, having fun. It all seems so far away from actual reality. I just want to be happy with the life I’m living, but everyday is a viscous non stop cycle of fear, doubt, &amp; uncertainty. I guess this is what growing up is, and I’m okay with it. But it’s worrying how much this affected me as a person. I’m not the same. I miss myself. Don’t know what to do other than get up and get ready for the same day again. 
I’ve never posted something like this before, I’ve never talked to anyone about my feelings. I’ve allllllways kept shit inside. I was the one that had no worries! That dealt with the pain or had no issues! But now I do and I don’t know how to approach them. Because I never have in the past. It’s a scary void to attack head on. Especially alone, all while putting on a fake persona so those around me can feel okay too. 
I’m in unexplored territory, and I’m lost.