The other day I made a stupid post saying how I wanted to hurt my favorite person by commiting suicide. I sounded so fucking crazy. And I’m so ashamed. I’m still hurt god this hurts but my life goes on. I’m still working towards my goals. I try to get out of bed everyday even though it hurts too. 

I lost a friend forever and I’m so sad. I regret ever telling them how I feel. I hope one day when I’m healed we could be friends again but I don’t know if it’s a possibility anymore. Even though they were wrong for leading me on that doesn’t give me the right to lash out. They don’t owe me a thing. 

I bet everyone thinks I’m crazy. I’m so ashamed but I don’t want to give up on life. I don’t want to stay unmotivated. There’s a ton I have to do to improve my life and I can’t give up. Even though I want to.