I am scared of the concept of death. I am not religious but the thought of not knowing what it is after death scares me. Like is it nothingness or is the whole religious stuff true or maybe somehow we still would exist bodyless in some plane idk. Its just so scary that I think if i kill myself and if its not nothingness, then i don't want to regret it and dwell for the rest of my afterlife.

2nd reason, I am kinda scared of pain. I don't have access to sleeping pills, and you know the extreme measures are scary, like jumping off the bridge or a cliff or a 5 storey building. Hanging seems awful too, like you know struggling there helplessly for god knows how many minutes before you finally die. 


Now I just don't have any other will to live. I am going to be 24 and I have nothing going on. No career. Have been suffering from this since i was 16. I can't do anything right. I dreamt to be successful but i am ambitionless and i have no skills, talent or knowledge that would help me to get a job I would love as my career. I don't have many friends either and my family doesn't know about my mental health and I can't even express because they aren't really that open minded. Anyways this is my rant. I would love to trade lives with someone who wants to live but couldn't as much as it sounds horrible. I have no no no no will to live anymore. Just too much gutless to do something to end my misery.