Okay so i've been experiencing episodes where i can't move talk or eat and im fully aware of whats happening around me for a few months now. I think its a form of catatonia, but every time i bring it up with my psych or therapist they say its a seizure and I need to be tested. I've had seizures (most likley PNES) after my psychosis but those have gone away (they appeared like actual seziures but i never pass out and it went away after my brain recovered) . I think they are just saying this because I was told they have to explore every physical route before they can go psychological route, but i feel like no one is listening to me and taking me seriously. Also this started happening right around the time I started to experience mood disorder symptoms.

I experience:

Not moving (feels like a weight? physically exahausted), no talking no matter how hard I try, I get terrified at the thought of putting things in my mouth, when I try to talk the most i'm able to do with my face is smile. After not talking for a while and when I start talking again i start sounding like a toddler skipping words like a, the, but, basically only saying the subjects and nouns. Then after that stage I start stuttering and then talk normal. Typically before these start i get extremly irritated by everything and don't want to be around anyone. I honestly would compare the experience to how ppl described being drugged. Being fully aware but unable to do anything, but move my eyes.

I had to go to the ER once because I couldn't open my mouth for 14 hrs and I refused to put anything in my mouht. (Liquid and pill medications) When I went to th ER they did no tests and once i started talking after 6 hours they just discharged me because i wasn't a harm to myself.

Sometimes there are triggers for these episodes (mainly when I'm experiencing mania), a destress episode (bpd), after psychosis whenever i was stressed, a huge drop in energy after a manic episode, and anxiety attacks/ptsd episode. But it's a pick and choose situtation it doesn't happen all the time in these cases. And sometime there isn't even a trigger. 

&amp;#x200B;

Idk I just feel like i'm going crazy for thinking I have a form of catatonia. I just want to get diagnosed because i think it would help a title 9 case I'm preparing for because I was in this state while I was being SAed. I feel like having this label for it could really help with my case. But also I just want to know what this is so i can properly be treated for it if i end up going to the ER again for a really bad not moving or talking episode.