I've had a rough week for suicidal thoughts. I'm undergoing ECT treatments but I'm probably more depressed this week than I have been in years. I'm medicated and everything, in therapy, etc. I have a psychiatrist appointment today and I'm going to be totally honest with him but I'm worried he'll want me to go back to the hospital. I'm tired of going to the hospital. But I'm also desperate for something to work or to make me feel better and I'm out of options it feels like. I feel weak for contemplating going to the hospital. I don't know what to do.