I've noticed that I have done this since I was like 10 and I still do it. When my friends hurt me, unintentionally or not, I tend to bottle every pain that I have because I struggle with communicating my feelings. Hence, I have repressed anger and pain however I don't want to lose friends so I try to act normal. But then I reach the point where the pain overflows and the anger takes over me that I literally treat people like they're thin air. They could be in front of me but I would ignore them like I'm not seeing anyone in front of me. I'd pass by them like they're not there which is also why I do not have lasting friendships. I also don't understand why I do it but I've been doing it since I was 10 and I want to stop it but I feel like I can't control being like this. Every friendship of mine has ended like this, it's like I'm physically ghosting them. 

I don't want to be like this anymore. Being angry is exhausting and I am very very very tired. I'm afraid that I'd do it again with my new friends.