I don't know what to do anymore. 
I live my life out of spite. My day to day involves getting up early, working all day, and then getting home, only to rinse and repeat. 
I have no support system. A girlfriend who looks at me like I'm rotting meat, and all of our friends are hers, too. I only see them when I'm her +1, and even then they're distant. I think I've stopped making an effort to be closer. I have family, but I never really got on with any of them, and I avoid them when I can in order to avoid the yelling about how I'm always 'bringing the vibes down'. 
I just feel like it's the end of the line. I don't have a home, per se, I'm young and I don't have a room and I spend my nights on a mat on the floor at my mother's house. 
I have no motivation anymore, apart from the spite for life which fuels my morning commute. 
Many nights recently I've stood at the cliffs near my house, but whether I don't have the balls to jump, or I don't have the balls not to jump, I'm not really sure. 
I keep my principles close to me and don't forgive easily because it's all I've got left. I know I'm not a good person, but it doesn't really make a difference when I try so I suppose I no longer see the point. 

So I'm just stuck, in a revolving cycle of spite, principles and nighttime walks to the cliffs. I just want to feel loved and something other than an afterthought. I just don't know what to do anymore.