I know that mania isn’t always fun but for me it usually starts out with heavenly euphoria and then gradually turns me into a fidgety, obsessive compulsive, irritable “tweaker” and because it ends up feeling.. not so fun.. I catch myself feeling on guard when I noticed myself being creative or smiling/laughing too much. It’s kinda sad that I can’t be happy without having to question if I’m doing good or on the verge an episode. It reminds me of the song dumb by nirvana when he says “I think I’m dumb, or maybe just happy, I think I’m just happy” that whole song describes my bipolar perfectly. Can anyone else relate?