Just a bit of a vent, I've got severe anxiety which has improved to an extend since May this year due an absolute shit year. A complete transformation of my already small family into anti-vax conspiracy theorists, declining work conditions, multiple family deaths of people I really loved and the cherry on top, my fucking 14yo cat. Thought I felt ok, kept myself strong and going as I always did during hardship. Then i took a shitload of mdma on a party (I know, stupid) and boom, hello anxiety. 

Already lived an average healthy lifestyle, but changed that to a very healthy one to cope and improve. No coffee, no alcohol for the first part and little coffee and alcohol afterwards.  Now I fuckin love coffee. The smell, the feeling and most of all the taste. I am the coffee guy in my friends group taking every effort to make that perfect cup, love to look for places to have a coffee on a terrace somewhere. I haven't been able to drink coffee ever since and I it sucks so bad.

Just came back 4 days ago from a 3 week holiday where I let myself go, drank a lot of alcohol every other day and enjoyed my sweet coffee every day. This resulted in the absolute worst 5 days I ever since the beginning. I quit coffee 2 days ago and alcohol since my return and immediately start to feel better again, which sadly confirms its effects. Going to bed late and little sleep have similar effects. I'm having a hard time that these things are taken away from me. I'm not a very outgoing person, but this prevents me even more of doing fun things I love, which is kind off depressing sometimes. Any similar situations? What did you do?