A few weeks ago I posted a fairly graphic story under a different username detailing the physical and mental abuse to which i subjected my ex girlfriend, how it had led to me being diagnosed at 25 and how everything before it now made sense - the violence, the arrests, abusing Pot and LSD, losing dozens of jobs, most of my friends.

So now I'm in therapy, I'm doing DBT. I thought I was doing better but I smashed a glass against a wall yesterday. It occurs to me I will never be better

I just want to fucking crawl in a whole and die. I can't move on because I have an issue with my man-parts that makes sex difficult. Messed up foreskin Plus BPD equals dying alone

And fuck I miss her. The hole inside me just gets bigger every day and it's been over 6 months

I'm not sure what I'm asking.