there isn’t a single moment of my life now for the past 6 months that i haven’t been worrying about something. every concious second.

i’ve always had this. ever since i was about 10. i’m 18 now and i’d thought that i had learned how to cope with it. 6 months ago i learned that my girlfriend cheated on me. ever since that moment i’ve kind of lost myself. 
i’m very angry almost all of the time. i’m scared. scared of very mundane things. i feel like it’s killing me, litteraly. i get so scared that i feel like i’m litteraly going to die. i can’t sleep well because everytime i get into bed my heart starts pounding like crazy. 
my parents are fine. but we’re distant and they don’t understand. 

i don’t have it under control anymore. i’m not suicidel or anything like that. just miserable.
i really don’t feel good anymore. i’m sorry if this was pointless. 

it’s not even her fault really. if she’d done this to some other guy he probably would have just moved on. life isn’t that complicated. but i guess i’m just fucked. 

have a good day