I can’t go any longer. It’s so lonely and empty now. Not only have I lost my dad this year but my mom’s paternal half sisters lost their significant other this year as well. One died a month after my dad died and then the next month my mom’s other sister lost her boyfriend (who was planning to purpose to her before he passed). And just yesterday, I found out that my next door neighbor passed away last month. I knew her well and she would talk to my mom at times too. All of this is really taking a toll on my mental health. 

What makes me feel sadder is that my dad won’t be here to see me get my first job or learn how to drive even tho I’m 23 years old already. I just don’t see any reason to live any longer. Life doesn’t mean shit to me anymore. I just want to leave this world and I really don’t care if I make my 3 close surviving loved ones upset. If they want what’s best for me then I suggest them to let me be free because that’s the only way I won’t feel depressed and numb anymore. I want to be with my dad because I miss him so much and these last few years I’ve become attached with him because he was unemployed and couldn’t get a job anymore due to his declining health. I just want to die!!! Just take me!! I’m ready to be in peace!!!