Probably the most frustrating. Trying to leave someone cause I know they don’t have a positive effect on my mental health, they are toxic to me and I am to them. They force their way in disregard your boundaries and force you into situations you’re not ready for. When the bpd gets bad and overwhelming, then I’m the bad guy. My reaction makes them forcing me into social situations, forcing me into being close with them, my reaction for being forced to be close then rejected is the one that’s wrong and bad. They run from me, I begged them to stay away from me, I begged them to let me pick up the pieces of my life in peace. They wanted me, until they didn’t. Now I’m alone picking up the pieces with another broken friendship, another failure on my belt. All I can think is why? I didn’t wish to be close to you in the first place, I remember you begging me to be around, when it’s all said and done I’m the one alone with suicidal thoughts. 

I’m watching you move on an grow. How cruel is it that you’re only able to do this now that I feel broken.