I ended up so badly. I ruined most of my friendships, it's slowly ruining my relationship with the man I love. I skip work all of the time and I can't keep a stable job although I work in the medical field. 

I was top of my class and depression completely destroyed my will to do anything, now when my old college acquaintances see me, one of them actually said "wow man, we never thought you'd become a loser, you were destined for greatness". And it broke me. This is not the life I wished for. I feel like a witness to a case of abuse, wxcept the one who's abused is me, and the abuser is also me. I tried therapy and it hasn't been working. My boyfriend is the only thing preventing me from falling apart and when we fight I completely lose the will to live. And it makes me hate how dependent I became.

I wish my soul would just exit this body and life, maybe get reincarnated and start anew.