Not necessarily urgent (I haven't been playing Black Ops Cold War). But...my anger is bad, and I mean really bad. 

A quick TL;DR: My anger is really bad when I'm stressed, competing, or I got a bunch of small irritants that just built up quickly on top of my never ending racing mind. Like..completely heartless. I need coping mechanisms.

Like for example. I'm playing CoD (skill based matchmaking has me playing against people my same skill level all the time, it gets annoying feeling like I'm ALWAYS competing yet also ALWAYS behind the competition) and I'll get so pissed off I just let the vulgarity go. 

I'll say shit like, "You're fat and worthless. Get a job, nerd."

"Off yourselves"

"\*loudly screaming\* I'll fucking murder you you no good waste of fucking space. Let me see you in public one day, I'm gonna run your fucking head over and laugh."

Or like at work. Shit's super stressful. Gotta do all the prep work (do up all the vegetables for that day, slice up all the meats for the day, a bunch of shit) on top of running the store. That means taking, making, and handing out orders (I work midnights and our shift only has 2 people on it so I'm almost always working alone) then cleaning, stocking, overall just making the store look super good. Basically, my shift has to do A LOT of the backbone work so that the day shifts can run with ease. 

So I'm stressed the fuck out, by myself, 8 hours, got a lot of shit to do, customers to me, are a big inconvenience. So when I get a rude customer or a belligerent drunk/person tweaked out on meth that's just acting like a total jerk off or making an ass of themselves cause they think they're funny. I'm immediately in the back, making their food in my head like, "I hope this food clogs your fucking arteries." 

"I hope you crash on your way home."

Sometimes I'll get hit with a rush of people, and then I'm like stressing extra. Like grabbing at my hair almost in a panic attack, and at the same time I'm just so pissed off cause...stress. That sometimes I will punch or kick a piece of equipment. Last time this happened I punched the fucking cheese machine.

Mind you. When I'm not pissed at a game or pissed off with work or pissed off cause somebody is being an asshole, and I wanna show them what a "real" asshole is. I'm very loving, caring, supportive, I am a complete 180 from that rage shit show. 

&amp;#x200B;

Like I don't hit people, I try my hardest to bite my tongue when it comes dealing with someone I love and care about even if I'm in a bad mood. I try my absolute damndest to not be abusive in any way irl (and it works at the cost of me having to internalize a lot of shit cause I just...don't..want to..hurt anyone) with people I love and care about, but oh boy..if you're a stranger..and I'm pissed. You'll know it. Either through my rude tone of voice, or by...getting barraged with vulgarity and probably some of the most toxic shit ever. 

&amp;#x200B;

I straight up tell people, "If I'm pissed. It is safe to assume in that moment that I simply do not fucking care about anything or anyone. Don't talk to me. Don't approach me. If you're not here to calm me down and try to restore some peace in me, then you aren't worth a fuck to me at that moment, and I will let you know."

&amp;#x200B;

Basically if I'm angry, you gotta approach me very gently. Soft voice, and be like "Hey you. You seem very upset, why don't we step away from that for a bit and get your head cleared." and then I go and safely vent or decompress. The only person that's ever truly been able to save me from my fits of rage was my ex. If y'all have seen the picture of the girl walking up to Hulk and turning him back into Banner. That's what it was like. She's..my ex. She..barely talks to me. She was my biggest safe haven, the best rock I had. So..now I'm trying to tame this shit on my own and I need help.

&amp;#x200B;

What are some things y'all do to get yourselves to not be so edgy and hostile? I need to find a way to either rid myself of this blood curdling rage or at the very least tame it to where I'm just like, "Ugh. This fucking sucks, but whatever." instead of becoming..well..an asshole.