So I have been on meds since I was 13. Well back in October after my IUD insertion (I know really weird) my anxiety spiked and I went into a constant DPDR (Depersonalization/Derealization disorder). In January my anxiety was making me so sick and I thought it was either my meds that I had been on for 4 months, I was dying, or my IUD. I started with my meds. I went off of the celexa I was on for a year and a half and stopped my trileptal that I was on for 4 months. Nothing changed. So I got my IUD removed and went back onto the pill. Nothing changed. So we have been on the search. I tried prozac... it was fkn awful.. I am talking wicked intrusive thoughts, constant panic attacks such as waking up and not knowing where I was to having to remind myself I am here. With DPDR it is similar to that but not to that extent daily. I was given the go to stop it after a month. I then tried abilify which had me wanting to crawl up the walls. I tried it twice and the second dose had me shaking uncontrollably, heart pounding, the room spinning, etc. I stopped it without even telling them, there was no way I was going to wait that one out. Since then I just haven't taken meds. This was almost 3 months ago. Now I feel my mood swings. The tight jaw, and just feeling gross. I asked for my trileptal back and got it back butt haven't taken it.. It's been 3 weeks. I never want to feel like I did on prozac and abilify again and tbh I feel almost traumatized from those experiences. Being in a constant DPDR and being almost agoraphobic is hell enough.. IDK what to do.