I always have self hate on my mind. I don’t feel worthy of anything, never being a thought in someone else’s head. I didn’t think I’d live this long , and now that I’m still here coming up on my 25th bday I’m just existing. I’ve never been enough for a romantic partner to stick around. Never accomplish enough for my family to consider me a good person. I don’t have any goals. I’m afraid I’m a narcissist. My family doesn’t know how to emotionally support anyone. I’m tired of feeling this way. I’ve been depressed for as long as I can remember, only the attempts to end it ended once I realized I was too scared to.. I can’t commit to anything. I dream about running away so I can isolate in peace and not have to live for anyone else. I can feel my lack of energy and effort draining people around me. I know they’re tired of me always struggling with one thing or another in life. I just want to be miserable alone and not feel like a bother to people. I’m tired of wanting someone to help me but feeling how tired of helping me everyone is . If I can get better on my own than I don’t have to be a burden anymore - at least that’s a goal I guess.