I hate trying to sleep. I hate waking up. I hate the daily routine. I'm tired of this bullshit. I hate the forced smile. I hate the dread and the anxiety. I hate the booze that makes me feel, and I hate it when it confirms my emptiness. I hate the question, "how are u?", I hate the question "what do u like to do?" Fucking nothing. Just leave me to rot. Then I rot, then I hate being alone. Then I try, then I hate myself again. Then I rant, then I post regrets, then I repeat. Exhausted. Tired, always tired. I care, then I don't. Fuck this. I'm trapped, i'm banging my head against the wall. In a drunken stupor I care about my spelling on reddit. Why do I care about irrelevant shit then not care about what matters. Like the other post, uuuuuggghhhh