I'm a 42 year old male with high functioning autism. I've worked the same job for the last 12 years. Unfortunately that's not a good thing. The short version: I spent the first 9 years at one location, going from a part time stocker to a full-time team lead. I wanted to move up the ladder to an assistant, but in spite of being more than qualified (based on customer feedback anyway) I was always overlooked when the position was open. After several years basically doing the assistant job without the recognition or pay, I told him straight out that I wanted to move up. They put the request in and I was given the position, but had to relocate to another store.

I was actually looking forward to it, and very excited. I wanted to get away from the doubters and really show them what I could do. I was to be one of two co-assistants at a brand new store that I helped build. I was so happy, until maybe a month in, when I noticed that the SM was heavily favoring the other co-assistant. It got so bad that they completely cut me off and ran the store themselves. Whenever I addressed it, I was told it 'wasn't part of my job'. Well, it got to the point that it seemed nothing was part of my job! I was intentionally kept out of anything remotely important. My co-assistant, who BTW had been taken under SM's wing and was being groomed for a store of her own, implied I should just transfer back to my old location. Rather than continue to fight, I folded and began wondering what was wrong with me in spite of always giving 150%.

Eventually the old SM moved on to another location and we got a new one. I continued to give 150% and hoped he would see me. Instead I was kept in the closet more than ever. My co-workers noticed this and lost respect for me. In a sit-down with the new SM, I was told that I was a 'joke' to everyone. When I told him it had a lot to do with how I was being treated by him and the other assistant, promises were made to include me more, but they never panned out. I was now regretting the one time in my life where I asked for better for myself. I should have left then, but years of being treated like I was nothing made me believe I was nothing, and I didn't deserve better.

Recently, the co-assistant put her notice in. I'm told they won't be hiring a replacement. My time to shine? Nope. The district manager has the store manager asking me where I'd like to transfer. I never said anything about transferring...so I asked a few questions and found out they want to eliminate me to save on payroll. My only options are to transfer to a couple locations that are twice the drive (over an hour one way and likely at the same pay rate) or hit the road. 

I guess I shouldn't feel so hurt, I should have taken this route myself a long time ago. I need to find another job, but I feel so hopeless and down on myself that I feel I'm not good at anything. How the heck am I supposed to recover from this? I know some positive encouragement would be nice, but I'm not getting any of that either. I've struggled with depression my whole life, but have never felt this low.