Hi I’m a 15(m) recently my father passed away which has affected me to a level I never thought it would growing up he wasn’t around much but as I got older he’s been in my life for the past 4 years consistently all for it to be stripped away from me he was my best friend he understood me more than anyone I have no idea how to cope I can’t take this anymore to make matters slightly worse but not significantly my girlfriend broke up with me within the same week of my father passing as well as finding out she cheated on me after my father had passed I had no idea how to feel I had a breakdown sent home by the school been home for about a week dealing with funeral arrangements and services soon for my father as well as being emotionally and mentally not all there I already had difficulty in life that he was there helping me get through as well as interpersonal conflicts which I struggled with and now he’s gone I feel so overwhelmed to the point where I wanna be emotionless the woman I thought that would be there for me betrayed me my family is here but everyone still seems to be in denial and shock I really feel lost I’m scared about falling behind at school but while I was there I couldn’t even concentrate properly everything I do reminds me of him of course it’s happy memories but I can’t keep it together he wanted to do so much so many plans and now he’s not there to experience this with me I’m sad upset and confused why could this happen he passed due to a health related issue which wasn’t prevalent before how could this happen he was doing so good changing his life around he went to church I know it doesn’t exempt anyone but if there is a god why would he do this to my family and I? Take the greatest person in my life away although our past relationship wasn’t great we were fixing it and we made a lot of progress im so sad I want to cry every second of my day but I can’t I have to keep strong for my younger siblings and mother but I just can’t I feel so stressed I see my school assignments my upcoming life events his passing and services I don’t know how much more I can take I don’t have friends I can go out with on the fly since my ex and her friends were who I spent my time with and now that’s gone I try to cope in various ways but I don’t know how to cope I didn’t get to say I love you the last time we talked I can’t do this anymore I’ve never had to go to a funeral before I can’t believe this is something I’d had to be doing so early in life especially for my father I feel so lost I’m sorry about the rant I needed to let this out somewhere thank you hope y’all have a great day/night