I am all out of whack lately. Every year in august, like clockwork, my health anxiety and physical health ailments spike and last for 2-3 months. Still in the thick of it right now. 

Last august I had a terrible case of hives (never experienced that before), the week after returning to work from an extended time off, which was also coincidentally the same week my entire household got head lice. I was so stressed out with everything, my anxiety was going through the roof. It’s no surprise I ended up covered in red, itchy blotches 

This year, health issues appeared in august again. I have been eating terribly lately. Mainly because I’m so stressed and anxious, which automatically makes my appetite disappear. I’ve been living off of about 500 food calories a day for weeks, and usually all I have for dinner is alcohol. Shameful, I know. No wonder I woke up in the middle of the night with the worst abdominal pain I could ever imagine. 7 hours later it hadn’t subsided so I went to the ER. I was diagnosed with colitis and told to eat small, frequent, bland foods. Haven’t done as well as I should following that plan. I was supposed to go see a gastro dr, but living in FL means my appt was cancelled due to the hurricane and i have to wait 2 months for the next opening. 

Next up in my not so fun health adventures is some mysterious itchy skin condition plaguing my partner and I. He had it first and apparently transmitted it to me. None of the doctors can figure out what it is, and meds don’t help. I’m up all night scratching my skin. I also have some issues going on in the nether regions, so I spend my free time scrolling Dr. google trying to figure out if it’s herpes, uti, or a yeast infection. I know my partner has been unfaithful lately, so really my diagnosis is anybodys guess. 

Went for blood work this morning for the first time in 3 years and passed out in the chair. This is the second time I’ve passed out while getting labs drawn. They offered to call me an ambulance, but who can pay that bill? I’ll just drive myself home and hope for the best. 

I know how strong the relation is between mental and physical health, but i feel just stuck in a trap right now. My mental health is bad, which causes poor appetite/sleeping, which causes health problems, which exacerbates my health anxiety, and the merry go round just keeps on going. 

I am 33 years old and have been dealing with this since my late teens. Therapy doesn’t help. Meds don’t help. I am at my wits end.