Like I'll come up with a coping mechanism that works for me and doesn't end up with me lashing out  at people and somehow they still make it about them ?

Like I'm not refusing to speak cause im mad or angry, but speaking one word will cause me to bust into tears and screaming and then I'd definitely be treated like an asshole.

And i know my own limit. I know what I can and can't do without risking my mental health. But its still not enough because its not the same as their limit sometimes. I get praised for being patient but then i vent frustrations over a simple thing after a lot of other things built it up and get told I'm overreacting and blowing stuff out pf proportion and that I should just let it go and roll off my back ? Like thats so easy to do ?

Neurotypical allies really wanna spout supporting people with mental issues until its symptoms that inconvenience them or you dont magically start acting neurotypical right away. You're praised for pretending to be like them when thats not the case AT ALL and its bogus.