The more I reflect on myself the more I realize I am using this thing called depression to seek validation, feel special, justify my lack of focus, conveniently give up on growth mindset, etc. Like it's ok to have no friends and be lazy because i'm depressed according to myself. After seeing some actually depressed people and what they go through I found out I'm faking depression, or at least really exaggerating it, just so I don't feel bad about myself. I find myself sometimes even enjoying? taking comfort in? believing myself to be depressed. idk lol and sorry to yall actually going through hard times.