Hi there, My name is Boots and I've just moved across country for someone with BPD. We've dated for two years and I've visited 3 times before packing up and moving here from my home state of California. Please be advised that I just want to get some things off my chest, and maybe get some support and tips on how to work with her.

I have to say, my experience here has been a cold one, pun intended. It's been a month and it's only getting chillier, both in the weather and how she's been treating the house's residents.

Look, I love my girlfriend, I really do, but after getting into my fifth 'fight' with her regarding me taking sides against her, It's draining. But, to be honest I did know what I was getting into when I bought my plane ticket.

I just wish she didn't sacrifice her health just to spite us. She assumes we're against her and want her to fail...But then to punish us for our transgressions she'll refuse to eat, cancel appointments with her therapist, psychiatrist, doctor, and this time breast surgeon.

It bugs me, she claims we don't care about her and yet the only way she spites us nowadays is to harm herself to make us, the supposed people who don't care about her, feel guilty.

That doesn't even count the ammount of times she broke down over her failure to communicate.

See... She finds minor questions beneath her, anything ranging from did you take out the trash, to what time you intend to go to bed tonight. Will be either ignored or dismissed with a "you don't need to know."

But if you do get an answer be prepared to do the mental gymnastics to figure out what it means. Because if you ask about it, you're going to get screamed at for being too stupid to figure it out. 

Reason being is that she tries to make her communication as efficient as possible, unfortunately she breaks it down to nearly monosyllabic forms... And she doesn't answer the question you asked, she answers the question she thinks you're going to ask next.

For a recent example."Do we have towels that need washing?"
"Basement."

At this point I can't win no matter what I do
... And I fear I'm just making it worse.