. I feel so unheard all the time and while I know people care it doesnt feel like it anymore.

I don't feel like I'll make it very far in life, I'm not sure whether thats longevity or quality. I dont evenr feel like I'm going to be a constant in anyones life and I doubt it'll change but I hope I've made some impact. I hope someone remembers me. Or maybe it'd be better if they don't idk. I'm scared to be forgotten but dont want to be missed if that makes sense. I feel like one day im jusy going to push everyone away and that'll be it, no one will need me and I'll lose all purpose. I'll just become a speck, a waste of life no one remembers nor cares about. The feeling of isolation is so strong and I've never been able to truly escape it. Idk if it's depression or something or maybe something just wrong with me. Maybe nothing's wrong with me but it's everyone I surround myself with, could be either really.

I don't matter. Don't tell me I do. If I did, why don't my parents want me? Why doesn't my brother need me? because I don't matter and just convinced myself I'm needed just to feel something. No one needs me but I need people to depend on and to need me. I can't even last a week without crying like a little baby, so alone and scared of the world. So afraid of the dark and whatevers in it. So afraid of being left alone. I'm so insignificant it's not even funny and I dont know what to do anymore.