25f diagnosis major depression, generalized anxiety, bipolar II, borderline traits, I struggle with chronic su*cidality and sh behaviors. I’ve been on 20 different psychiatric medications beginning when I was about 12 and haven’t been completely off them since. I have no idea what my baseline is and it’s becoming increasingly frustrating. I’m sick of adding more and more things, trying different combinations, etc. when I don’t even know who I am anymore or what’s causing what. At best a medication will work like 2 years before I’m advised to change it. I’m suffering and I’m sick of this. And I’m struggling to find a psychiatrist who doesn’t have what seems like a “maximalist” approach to medication. 

Anyway my question is if anyone here has ever hospitalized themself to withdraw completely from meds and start clean? How long did it take? Would you recommend it? Did it affect your job? I’m not anti medication, I think I’ve just gotten lost in it all. I’ve been hospitalized before long term and short term- I know it’s unpleasant. Done DBT, CBT, ACT, intensive outpatient, groups. Have not tried ECT, esketamine, or psychedelics. 

TLDR: have you been hospitalized solely to withdraw from all your medication and would you recommend it?