Okay let me explain… my entire life up until recently I had an FP. First it was my best friend, then a few lovers etc, but always someone. There was always someone that I loved with all of my heart and would do anything for. I was very invested in people and my social life, and my relationships were unstable but intense, and if I didn’t know anything else I knew I cared deeply about the people in my life.

Recently all of this has changed. I don’t know why. I’m suddenly struggling to keep the people in my life. I’ve lost multiple close friends in the past couple months. And I’m not making new relationships. It just doesn’t feel like it’s worth the effort. My own personality is unstable and chaotic, and I don’t have the patience or will to try to get to know anyone. I’ve been getting over people I thought I’d have for life.

I don’t know what’s wrong. All I know is I’m losing everyone and I don’t know how to stop it, and I don’t feel like stopping it even if I did. I don’t want to be alone but it seems like that’s all I can do..