I am a cashier in a home improvement store. I loved my job at first. Like any job I've had in the past it was good until it wasnt. I got this job in early March and I started to feel this way in May. At first it was just a small chip on my shoulder and now it's this massive boulder dragging behind me. Customers approaching me gives me anxiety. Hearing a shopping cart makes me fidget right where I stand. There have been times I just wanted to take my work vest off and go home without talking to anyone. I just want to hide in my apartment and pretend the world doesnt exist so that I can take a breather. This is my fifth job since 2018. I was a carhop for sonic (lasted 7 months) closing shift sandwich "artist" for Subway (1 month) cart pusher/bagger for Kroger (5-6 months) and a seasonal pool cashier for a small water park (5 months) and now home improvement cashier for about 8 months now. Half the coworkers I started out with are no longer working here and the other half is ok at their jobs..... I'm not saying I'm amazing or anything but you know.... majority of the people who are still working I watched get hired and trained. The ones that got fired had worked here for at least 1.5 years. I feel so drained I just want to cry. I'm not sleeping well and yet I cant seem to get myself out of bed. I eat once a day and have little to no appetite. I am barely getting enough hours to pay rent yet I feel like I live at work more than I live at home. My boyfriend (been dating for 5 years) just told me he doesnt want to live with me which means I can choose where I truly want to live. I can go out of town or out of state if I really wanted to. My apartment is a huge mess and has a whole bunch of crap and trash in it. The second I start working on it I just quit. It's so much. I want to quit my job so that I can focus on my mental health but I cant do that because I dont have any money in the bank account. I got 4-6 days without a day off. I just cant force myself to keep doing things that make me stressed or anxious. I'm bound to have a breakdown while on the clock. I just dont know what to do.