Hello. I wanted to ask for some advice from people who are older than 35 and how you manage to live with bpd, especially in relationships. I’m 22 and have been struggling with my mental health for as long as I can remember and I figured out that most of my stress and intense emotions are triggered by relationships I have with others, always have been. It’s a repetitive circle. I crave for relationships, it works, it crumbles, I turn it on me, I get unstable. I always dreamed of being married and have close relationships because I always seemed to not be able to have that. Is it possible ? Because I’m losing hope. I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore and I don’t want to keep getting these false emotions and thoughts. It seems like I can only live in a calm state of mind when I don’t have any deep relationships even if my heart craves for it and that makes me so sad. I also noticed that I feel the most myself when I spend my days alone and don’t talk to anyone. So it gives me a sense of having a real identity but for that I have to be lonely. Therapy helps with depression but it rarely makes it easier to deal with the disorder. I grew up with a depressed mom (who was still a sweetheart but just couldn’t give me the emotional security and attention that I needed) and I don’t want my daughter to grow up with an unstable mother. I know she is more at risk to develop a disorder herself and I would like to do what it takes so that she maybe has a chance to live a life without a mental illness. She’s only 2 years old and she saw me crying more than she should have. She even tries to comfort me, I just want to be stable so that she doesn’t have to see that anymore and can be the child in this household like she’s supposed to be. It seems like I can only be somewhat stable when I don’t have any relationships my mind can stress over. Does it ever get better ? Can you have successful stable relationships?