I started a new job bartending last week. I've been working for several years in the food service industry bussing tables, washing glassware, fetching booze, waiting for the day that I can finally call myself a bartender, and for a moment, I was genuinely happy and excited that I finally earned the right to call myself one. This faded much quicker than I thought - I am constantly imagining some of my coworker's curtness is really them not liking me already (when it's no doubt associated with them hardly knowing me). Aside from that, there's this girl at work that I immediately hit it off with in a friendly manner. Maybe I interpreted her intentions wrong, but I felt this very intense infatuation with her after knowing her/texting her for only a few days. Now I feel extremely awkward for trying to get close to her - it was pretty obvious that I wasn't just trying to be friendly. She seemed interested in me too though, as she said we should start going to work together, and go out for dinner sometime. But why would she want me anyways? I weigh more than I ever have, and I'm too lazy to do anything about it, or I just plain don't have the willpower. I've been stress eating around the clock, and every time I feel motivated to go out and run/stop eating so much, the feeling goes away and I go lay down in bed.

I'm also realizing that I really hate my friends. This happens every couple of years - I hit a point where I disassociate with one group entirely and move on to another. My friend left me at a bar the other night and didn't tell me. I tried to call him and he told me he "wasn't able to pick up my calls". I was livid. I was ready right then and there to tell him to get the hell out of my life and never speak to me again, like the little worm he is. He's been unemployed for some time, and I've been covering his bar tabs... I'm thinking I don't really like him, he's just convenient to drink with because he's almost always available (except when he leaves me at the bar while he goes with a couple other friends...). The thing is I don't know anyone else who would want to hang out with me. I'm wary of having coworkers around me too much when I drink because I don't want to accidentally say or do anything to lose my job.

Also, I missed my first class this semester due to the transition to my new job and some availability errors I made before they started scheduling me. I am scheduled to work during the time of my next class, and I'm worried my manager will make me come into work because its so short notice. The thing is - he *HAD* my updated availability before he made this week's schedule. If I go to work, I'll miss class, and since I'm already behind on class work (I missed several assignments and quizzes that were assigned the first week thinking they would be due generally anytime before the second class) so I'm considering dropping the class altogether. I messaged the instructor today begging him to reopen last week's assignments, but I have yet to hear from him. My mom is really rushing me to finish with my degree since she's paying my tuition (which I'm extremely grateful for), but at the same time, I don't want to continue on with this class when I'm already off to such a rocky start. If I can cover paying my living expenses, then why does it matter when I finish my degree? She's constantly complaining to me about money, and finishing my degree, but I can't handle doing full time school and work. Last semester, I got a 92% average - I honestly wanted to work hard over the summer, try to save up some money and decompress, and go back at it this fall. If I drop the class, she'll know because she won't have to pay tuition.

Oh, and I got a parking ticket...

**TL;DR:** I'm overwhelmed with; classes not going well, starting a new job, disliking my friends, gaining weight, and being unrealistically infatuated with someone I don't expect reciprocates my feelings.