My girlfriend and I split up at the end of November. We are both people who have had issues with anxiety in the past, she’s currently on meds, and after last night I feel as though I need to get back to them too. 

Last night we were talking and she casually brought up that she was doing ketamine with her friends and that she’s done it a million times. I have never once heard her talk about her doing it after 2.5 years of dating and I instantly felt crushed, like I couldn’t breathe, and haven’t left my bed since. I am devastated that she would hide something so big from me and I’m so worried and anxious that something bad will happen to her. 

A big part of me now feels that I need to move on and let her figure out whatever she needs but the other half is so anxious and emotional and I have no idea what to do to help myself right now. The only thing I have going is that I’m going to see my therapist again, but until I’m able to do that, I feel so physically ill and heartbroken and destroyed.