I don't believe there's a way to fix them anymore and I don't know why I'm still going through with everything. I'm so fucking lonely and it's my fault, I did this to my fucking self. I've turned into this fucking monster I'm an awful awful person and I don't deserve any more chances. I've burned my bridges, I've fucked over my past and I fucking hate the present. 
No one talks to me because of me, myself this new person I've become this mean, bitchy, manipulative, emotional wreck. It's a fucking hunch on my back and it's growing every day I don't know how much there is left of the girl that was just okay. 
If I have to kill my physical body to kill the aching monster that's grown under my skin, the one that feeds off of my pain and uses it against everyone else. If I have to do that then why not take the chance? 