To keep a long story short, a lot of negative shit has happened in my life over the last 1.5 years to say the least. My anxiety started getting a little worse over this time but was never that out of hand. For the last 2 of those months, it’s been really bad after my neighbors decided they have an issue with us and are making our lives hell with loud stereo music (as in waking up to it at 7:30am on a Sunday)  and constantly yelling. I wake up most mornings and lay in bed trying to sleep and not get sick, and then I get cold sweats and throw up stomach acid. I don’t each much if anything some days because I feel so sick to my stomach. I’ve been clenching and grinding my teeth so badly I have constant headaches, I’m starting to panic at work during situations I am normally very smooth in, I feel like i’m constantly talking to myself in my head and can’t hear anything else- it’s just not a good time right now. 

Anyways on my medical chart it says “Depression with  Anxiety” , I sought to restart therapy after ~5 years back in 2019, but after a bad error on the therapists end I stopped going and didn’t look for another one. 

I’m not sure if I should try therapy again or go straight to a doctor, but I’ve moved so many times recently and switched doctors it seems like a very far fetched idea getting help from one especially during the pandemic. ugh. i just feel like things are falling apart. if it’s not this issue now it’ll be something else later, i’m sure.