I spent years going through the regular cycle of being infatuated with certain people (you know), feeling like I have to have them and their attention or it’s the end of the world. When I was younger (obviously less mature) I would just go for it, I acted obsessive at certain parts of my life, and I began to realize that this is what was driving people away from me. To fix that I slowly started acting extremely closed off and cold towards anyone I would talk to, and I never felt like I was that way and only realized once looking back on it. I acted extremely bitter, dry, seemingly emotionless and unable to give or accept love 24/7 (no matter how infatuated or in love I thought I was with the person).

I was extremely fortunate to have ended up with my boyfriend who I had previously driven away with the above mentioned issue, and he was able to tell me how he perceived me and how the way I acted and things I said (or didn’t say) effected him. This whole realization happened a little bit ago but it was a giant slap in the face, I had gotten so used to acting this way it felt like it was me and being that way was just who I was, and I held onto it because I felt like that’s what people wanted. Anyone else experience(d) this or something similar?