f25. No matter what i read, hear, learn, see... i forget everything at some point. People, places, things, context, conversations... I have long history of depression (from like when i was 12, also diagnosed with bpd (not sure if diagnosed but for sure have social anxiety and excoriation disorder - as far as i remember). I had kind of traumatic childhood (authoritarian parents, domestic violence present, parents were extremely unstable, a lot of screaming every minute basically and nonsenses in every freaking sentence, illogical behavior, unpredictable behavior and changes in it, strict rules, been told what to do - in steps, also Christian religion forced (endlessly repeating prayers, been told what to do and think...- i also developed OCD that was based on religion, it's gone now)... ) I have persisting feeling of "empty head". Remember very little from my childhood years and most of it are just "bad" things, remember almost nothing from recently (7 years). Also have really poor speaking skills - i have trouble with remembering words, building a sentence, pronunciation etc., understanding meaning sometimes (i dissolve "meanings"). Sometimes i feel like i am on autistic spectrum but i think it's more likely related to my forgetfulness and social anxiety. 

I think my "forgetfulness" is some kind of coping mechanism that protected me from going totally crazy. Maybe it's consequence of the depression. I've been like this for years now and it's really getting in the way of living normal life and study (despite being collage student, it's extremely hard for me to remember things and i feel like i have to pretend so they won't find out how stupid i am and that i don't remember anything for a longer time). I may be just stupid idiot. I don't know, it's possible. But if I'm right and this is a persisting coping mechnism, is there any possible way to get rid of it? What kind of therapy would you recommend for this problem?