This is going to be long and rambly. Please don’t read if breast-related symptoms/cancer are a trigger for you!



The last week or so have been awful and I’m being consumed by this anxiety. I feel like I can’t enjoy my daily life because I’ll be dead soon.

I always have cyclical breast pain in my left breast that I thought was fibrocystic tissue. It always got bigger with my period and basically went away once it was over. My mom has it too and she said that’s what it sounds like (she’s a nurse so I trust her opinions on health stuff).

I don’t know why with my last period I decided to fixate on the pain. I’m worrying more because my left armpit feels more swollen when compared to the right one. I honestly don’t know if it’s a lymph node swelling as I can’t tell just by feeling it, but that would be my guess. Now its passed my period and I’m still experiencing the pain, which has never happened before as far as I know. It’s not bad pain by any means, but I notice it (or fixate on it). It’s like my armpit is a little sore, or like something on my skin is irritated. There’s soreness above my breast too.

My mind can’t rationalize this as being anything other than breast cancer and I’m devastated. I’ve been crying on and off. Breast cancer runs in my family so I’ve always feared it. I’m only 27 so I know it’s very rare even with family history, but I just can’t see this as being anything other than cancer. Googling has made things worse and convinced me I’ll be dead within the year. 

I’ve been anxious and depressed and without direction for so long. I’ve recently started making big changes towards improving myself and figuring out my career and I was so happy! But now, it’s all going to be taken away. I wasted my time on this earth and now, just when things are improving, it’s all for nothing.

I desperately want to go to the doctor to get this checked out but my insurance doesn’t start until September. Im trying to find some way to get a breast exam but I have no idea where to start. I feel sick, I’m crying a lot, and I can’t sleep. The anxiety from this is awful.


TLDR: I’m convinced I have breast cancer and will be dead soon, and I’m devastated that I wasted my life and any chance of making my life better is gone.