i am sick of feeling alone and misunderstood. hated and avoided. used as a placeholder or a moneymaker. tired of it. a genuine mutual human connection is all i want. someone to actually want me for me, and vice versa.

i know i have my own imperfections but I'll be damned if i don't love people. i just give it to all the wrong ones and end up feeling played. 
 i feel dead. what's my purpose. who needs me. seemingly, no one.