Hi everyone. 

I'll try to make it short and to the point.  I(M,32) believe that my GF (F,32) is borderline. We've been together for 3 years. I love her because I can also see a bright side in her, but if I say this is the most extreme relationship I've ever seen around me in my life I am not exaggerating. But I won't get into those details to save time. 

Over our 3 years relationship and as a result of extreme things I was put through researched and arrived at various conclusions until I am pretty much now solid sure that my GF is borderline. But my GF refuses to go to a psychologist or anything like that and she denies being borderline. In fact, she blames me for everything, including the way she feels or acts. 

My GF is having severe OCD that has been increasing over the past 2 years. It's at a point now that every time she goes to the restroom, she comes out with a story of her cloth/phone touched the toilette and that now everything is contaminated. She is admitant of the OCD, because denying it at this point is impossible. (Though yet after 2 years she is not seeking professional help to work on her OCD.)

In general and summary of symptoms that made me arrive at the conclusion that she is BPD, and without offense to anyone, is that she has this hate for all the people, she is extremely short temper and can get angry disproportionately over simplest matters, even the things she get angry over are not constant, so you cannot even predict what is bad and what is not, anything can trigger her to go on the worst level of retaliation over something that would literally not even be an issue in any of my past 10 relationships with women. Other symptoms are she's unstable and moody. She tells me that she hates me and she wants me to die and she doesn't want me etc. In couple of hours she comes back and says that she loves me etc. In fact, because of her mood swings, she believes that I'm a cheater, because she once broke u with me, disappeared for a week during which another girl came and talked to me, and now my GF who came back after 10 days is saying that I cheated on her by talking to that other girl, during the time that my GF was not talking to me (Silent treatment!). Other things I'd add is that she does have problems with her family members too, not a big or active network of friends, and that she does have the so-called childhood trauma that I usually hear about BPD. I.e. her parents are, and were, extremely negligent, they have 7 siblings in one family, and the dad has more than 4-5 or more wives or GFs that he also has kids with them too. 

Nonetheless, I am wondering can you tell me any specific tale-tell symptoms or behaviours that I can look to see in my GF to be sure that her problem is borderline and not some other alternative? (i.e. She says "I have Anxiety, that's why I'm acting like this angry."). Is there any way you guys can think of or tell me about that would clearly distinguish BPD from other causes that could maybe describe her behaviour?  How can I tell for sure that she has borderline if anything you guys can tell me. 

Thank you.