Stepped outside for a walk first time in a long time. Ever since the incident I detest outside and social interactions so I only went to university and gym. Not much walking there.

 Didn't make me feel better. After I let the love of my life down I no longer feel like I belong on this festivity of life. I would have ended it all but I am too cowardly for that. It is visible that there is an abyss between me and the society.