I overdosed 2-3 days ago on antidepressants, i dont remember what happened during that episode. But somehow it works out for me in a kind of masochistic way. I cant feel anything. I cant feel the guilt i should feel after failing another suicide attempt. I cant feel the pain i should feel after hurting the guy i loved the most. I cant feel anything. Maybe its better this way, to not feel anything so I wouldn't have to worry of another emotional breakdown. Being emotional has kind of been a problem for me and for others around me. Sensitive, confrontational, or too sympathetic. I dont wanna be that anymore as they are always deemed weak towards me. Its difficult having so many feelings and feeling them intensely then into nothing. Feeling nothing might be the best state for now.