I honestly hate myself.  I think I had been in denial for quite awhile.  It seems like the only times I don't hate myself are times I really should.  I ran into an old friend yesterday and I don't even blame her for us not being friends anymore.  I honestly don't understand why anyone is my friend anymore.

I don't see things getting better.  Even just thinking about the first steps I'd have to take is way too much.  I want to get better but I don't think I can or will. 

Can anyone relate to this?  Has anyone here felt this way in the past and been able to eventually make changes?  How did you do it?