Tried to kill myself 3 times while stationed at my unit, so I’m getting honorably discharged with diagnosis of BPD. Ever since then, I have made an effort to destroy my life. This is literally the most sober I’ve felt in 4 days and that’s because I ran out of my antihistamines. I literally see no way out and I’m slowly easing myself into a quiet death. God why can’t I just not wake up?