You don't have to read all of this if you don't want to. I suppose I'm just letting my frustration out. 

I always find it a hard thing to deal with. Especially since I have a hard time getting angry. I just get upset. I don't want to cry in front of others so I always try to hide it, but that's not easy. If I get upset I can't say anything back, I can't defend myself. And if I actually start crying they'll feel bad and will try to comfort me. But I never wanted to cry. I never wanted to be comforted. It only makes me feel worse. And I mean, people are allowed to feel angry from time to time. 

Still, people who are always angry and irritated make me anxious. The guy that I work for at my internship tends to get angry a lot. He's in a bad mood a lot of the time and gets irritated over the smallest things. And when I make mistakes he can get really irritated and scold me for it. I'm at the end of my internship so there are a lot of mistakes that I'm "not supposed to make anymore". Which makes me more afraid to ask for help or tell him that something went wrong.. But if I decide to solve it myself and I make it worse he gets even angrier..! Maybe I make a lot of mistakes, maybe I'm not as good at it as you want me to be.. But it's not like I 'want' to make mistakes! I try not to. I'm doing my best! Honest. And because I get upset at those moments I can't defend myself in the moment. Plus, he is usually right. I did make a mistake. Sometimes it's something small and other times it's a mistake that I wasn't supposed to make anymore.

Also, he is actually (strangely enough) a pretty good/nice guy. He always helps me out when I need help and even brings cake to work from time to time (a lot of birthdays lately). And when he's in a good mood he's a pretty nice guy. He's even said sorry for getting to angry before. Although he apologized for his tone and not because he got angry at me. 

I suppose I'm just ranting a little bit right now. I understand that the way to help the situation would be to talk to him or someone else about it but there are only a few weeks of my internship left and I'm not sure if I want to talk about it. I wouldn't mind saying something back at the moment that he gets angry at me again. But I'm usually trying my best to hold it together at those times so I can't. 

If anyone read this: Wow! That was a lot of reading! Thanks! I suppose I just wanted to let my frustration out a little. I don't necessarily want a solution. But if anyone can relate feel free to let your frustrations out as well! :)

Sacha