I hate thinking. It's an exhausting and chronic cycle of recognizing, understanding, and trying to manage my hectic overthinking and emotions. These innermost obsessive, toxic, messy, possessive, dramatic, erratic, anxious, pathetic, painful thoughts accompanied by paralyzing shocks of lingering emotion manage me more often than I do them. Exploding even the most minor of events into intense emotional agony. My mind repeatedly becomes the loudest place in the universe and all I so desperately want is silence. How I wish I could slow down my frantic thoughts and be free from these heavy shackles of emotion. Those precious moments where I am able to at least temporarily take a breath with some distraction in this rapid torrent of emotion are ones I always hold dear. For as soon as there is a inch of room to return, the agony takes a mile. I wish to not feel. To not feel so intensely. To let things be and to go unbothered as I would like to be. Please... I just want it to stop. Please please please I just want it to stop. I do not want to be the way I am. I do not want to live on being stuck this way. This mind is broken and its emotions run rampant. The blank stares, the heaviness in my chest, the anxious pacing, the fights to not harm myself, the tears of realizing that this is simply my existence... I am so so so tired of them all and I have been for so long... Please give me peace. Please give me solace. Please give me silence. Please give me an escape. Someone, something, please... It hurts so much.