\- I get Learning to learn. Always thinking outside of the box, self-criticize, admit mistakes, etc.

\- I am happy guy i believe. Enjoy Little things, spend busy, get hobby,

\- If I am myself and get routine, everything is colorful. I know the happiness.  I knew, I've realized it before.

\- I couldn't say more than 3-4 words to women. Today, I'm okay. Even I ask go out. In 2019 I got theatre with a girl who works in same company. Btw don't forget the girl. 

\- In 2014 autumn, Anxiety was diagnosed to me. According to there was it before. Because I lived the same Anxiety feelings which I couldn't understand in university.

\- I've improved myself and continue. Actually, I've been overcoming my anxiety. For example, 

In 2016 spring, I overheard the chat between two friends. One ask; "Did you do plan for holiday"  Other replied; " Yes I did yesterday, I arranged tickets. I would go to Florance and then I got Rome."

and I looked myself and ask a question why couldn't travel abroad? I insulted myself. one year late,I visit Romania with the travel company, and second travel. Third one was solo travel. No frined, no cousin no travel company. Just me, myself.

and today, I desire to work abroad. In 2016, no able to travel abroad, In 2021 desire to work abroad.

On the other hand, I get anxiety crisis. In the past, It was worse. Today, It is mild. I manage it.

\- Since 2019 December, I've been having feelings for the girl who got theatre. Because of the pandemic, I couldn't see her but we didn't keep in touch. We talked on Whatsapp. Since 2020 december, We've been working together.  Every there week, She comes to office and we see each other.

She doesn't want to involve girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. So I am in penalty box. She talks to me, she is nice to me. There is a hope for love. Maybe I assume there is a hope for love becasue of my feelings.

This hope gives motivation to be active, attempt to be happy, on the other and killing me. Because If I lose her, I'll lose the hope. If I lose the hope, I'll lose the joy of living.