All I want is for my sister to even acknowledge me. She’s pregnant, which is probably stressful for a pandemic, but she’s been ignoring me for months. Last time we spoke was when my grandfather went to the hospital she brushed me off saying “Is (boyfriend’s name) with you. Get him to help you” and hung up the phone. 

We’re biological half sisters, I’m adopted. We used to be really close but now she’s just like our mother in the worst ways (my sister was not put up for adoption- I’m older than her). 

I’m... numb? Sometimes I cry for a little bit. I left him Wednesday because I couldn’t be there when it happened (in home hospice care). Driving away leaving him forever was hard. It took me forever to get home because I kept stopping to write down memories and things he said during our goodbyes so I wouldn’t forget things. Thursday I sat on my sofa in silence staring at a wall for ten hours waiting for the call. I haven’t been able to eat. I shook and cried when I got the call. Then I stared at a door silently. I feel like I’m in a fog. I wish I could break down but it hasn’t come yet. 

I just wish she’d even acknowledge me. It fucking hurts.