Hello all, I posted recently about my best friend and I’s turbulent 4 months. 

She currently is not speaking to me and this was her last text to me: “Over the past few months my trust has been broken, promises have not been kept, and I’ve been manipulated and disrespected. I have put up with too much for too long. I don’t want to discuss this further. The damage is beyond repair. I will continue to be professional at work but I cannot put anymore time and energy into this friendship. Regards.”

My response: “Thank you for the directness, it was clear to me on Wednesday(my birthday). I hear that you don’t want to discuss things further but I still am not exactly clear on specifics. I feel anything I have wanted has been disregarded and that is not fair. Does past few months refer to December - now or before? Manipulation?  I feel very in the dark and have received zero communication or chance to show a pattern of changed behavior and I do not think that is okay. You held my hand and said you weren’t  going anywhere then you go, I tell you “I thought you just wanted me to end the friendship” and you respond with “no” but then go on vacation and return treating me differently. It was really confusing. All I was left with was ambiguity and room to think of 10+ scenarios and reasonings that consumed my brain. I felt you knew me very well and how I operated and that there was no regard for that. I know it’s over and I don’t want that friendship back either but I would like a clearer understanding for my overthinking and anxiety. Thank you, this experience helped me grow exponentially!”

I have been discussing this ongoing issue with my therapist and she brought up close to the end of my last session that she models behaviors of borderline.

I took some time to read and watch more about it and I do see lots of similarities especially with quiet borderline. Everyone is telling me to give up on her l, that she’s toxic but I can’t. I have so much compassion and love for her. I know I can not fix her and it’s not my job but I want to be there to support her. I fear that in this current state of life she has no one else who is going to show up for her and tell her what she needs to hear. 

I would love advice on how to rectify the situation as well as bring this to her attention.

She is an amazing person and deserves to put herself first and be happy. I love her unconditionally, I will detach but I can’t give up on her.