I’ve discovered the dysphoric and deep rooted depression I’ve had since a child to make sense now. The Bipolar explains that.

The other side of the coin involves having a dream-like, surreal… mood? I’m starting to realize this is probably the other adaptation of the disorder as well. I’ve always had really dreamy thoughts towards rudimentary things. I still remember waking up up like, 3am when I was a child and hearing a song playing on the TV and just feeling so weird. 

It’s heavily correlated with restless and dysphoria from what I can tell. But it’s not a depressive episode in it’s prime, it’s just weird.   Almost like a subtype of a depressive/mixed episode. Valproic Acid seems to be putting me in a childish place internally. Maybe the HDAC inhibition is real. I’m only scratching the surface of this problem because I’m tired and maybe someone who’s interested can talk to me more about this in the future. 

Thanks for listening. Here if you need me!