hi reddit, ive(m 23) been having some mental issues. A deep depression has been triggered by something unknown. It almost snapped and i feel into something deeper then ive ever experienced before. I spend a lot of energy trying to keep my sanity, but its getting really hard. I am getting help, but i am wondering i might have been a bit to patient. 

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I am experiencing symptoms of psychosis, expect i know whats real and whats not, so I manage to snap out of the intrusive thoughts. Currently no hallucinations. All the other symptoms are present.

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Today I woke up smiling without any reason, and i feel a strong need to smile, even though inside i am deeply fucked up and depressed. I still have a urge to smile, and its getting really freaky. 

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Have i finally snapped? 

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TLDR; I am in pain, but i cant stop smiling. 