In the general rocketing between believing I have no one to talk to, to one person who is everything and ready in silver armour to be THE thing in my life, my brain is trying to get the second thing happening again.

An old friend, who now lives half the world away came out to me. I've always liked them a little, and them thinking I was important enough that I needed to be let know was the warmest feeling. And now I can't stop wanting to talk to them. To tell them everything about how my life is on fire right now and I wish they could be a part of it and fix it.

I can't stand this fucking arrival of visualisations of the rest of my life with people I barely know.

And the other half of the time, I feel so desperately alone.

Fuck me sideways, this is so shit. 