So I've spent a year fighting for custody of my child. $11,000 at the expense of my credit and various other things. He begged me to do it. His dad is an emotionally abusive dickwad. My son is experiencing depression and panic attacks. So of course I said I would do everything I can. Well, his dad and dads family are money people. I am not. Which means not only have I been called poor white trash by them countless times, it also means that this court business is nothing to them. So all I've been getting are reviews. This has been carrying on for almost a year. No progress at all. Meanwhile my lawyers are apparently total idiots, so the latest declaration from my ex lists all the ways in which I have failed to meet some standard or task I didn't even know existed, despite my constantly asking my lawyers whats going on. So now one lawyer is claiming she hasn't been getting paid by the other and won't represent me. This person was hired by my original lawyer so I have no control over payment there. But somehow they are angry with me about it. And then my first lawyer says she isnt going to work for free. Nevermind the $11,000 I've paid already. I never asked her to work for free. She's never even gone to a hearing, always sends the one she wasn't paying. So now they are telling me I dont have a lawyer. I have a hearing next week. I asked if I could just drop the case and then I get reamed for asking them to work for free again. Im not a lawyer, I dont know how this stuff works. 

But regardless of all that, I now get to explain to my child that I cannot keep fighting. That not only do I have to give up, but I will probably be forced to appear in court, alone, next week, and be humiliated like a piece of garbage poor white trash person again by his dad and dads lawyer. And im pissed that this all happened. Im pissed that his dad won't listen to anyone, that he retains custody simply to spite me, tells my kid that if they live with me they will turn into trash like me. 

Maybe I am trash.