I had a therapist almost 10 years ago suggest I might have BPD. I checked off each DSM requirement but one. Recently just had my current therapist suggest I might have BPD as well.

It's kind of soul crushing, but it makes much more sense than it just all being bipolar. My emotional and social level still feels like I'm in high school, with brief moments of maturity that have come with me aging. I feel so defeated right now.

Medication has been proven to not be that effective with BPD as it can be with bipolar. I don't want to constantly be worried about what others are thinking of me, or hell even what I'm thinking of myself. I don't want to be constantly grounding myself with DBT skills.

The more I'm interacting with people, even online, the worse I seem to get. I've been trying to be more active in an online game I play, but the drama and differing social levels is stressing me out. I even went to an online therapy chat website, and the guy just told me to quit playing. It's one of the few things that I enjoy in my life, and gets me out of bed... 

I feel like a lost cause. At my age I shouldn't be letting this high school drama get to me. I shouldn't be getting this worked up over an internet person being mad or not liking me, or worried that they might think poorly of me. I just want my brain to stop...