Little background. I've known my FP for over a year and were best friends. We also dated for a few months in the past. But I made a lot of mistakes, he turned out to be asexual and aromantic and everything has been okay since. I'm notorious though for having a lot of time letting go of a person and I've been unable to get my feelings for him out of my heart. It's not ever attraction anymore, I just miss all the touching and validation he gave me. But lately I've been kind of uncomfortable around him. And randomly tonight after watching a movie I began to wonder if he and I should even stay friends. I dont know why I'm so depressed right now. What is wrong with me or whatever but I'm hurting. I'm in pain and no matter what I do I cant stop it. When im around him I get intrusive thoughts, when im not i still hurt. I hate this disorder to much honestly if i could i wish i was never been with it cause every chance I've had to be happy I've always ruined. I just would like some thoughts on the whole situation if that's not too much to ask. I'm kinda hurting right now and I need some support.