I am currently in the middle of a deep deep depression. It started last night. I was having an amazing week but then something triggered me to freak the fuck out. 
Some context. I met this amazing guy about a month ago. We instantly clicked. We both really like each other and are thinking about our future together. The problem is I have a lot of anxiety in relationships. 
Yesterday, we were on FaceTime late at night. He told me he was still friends with his ex and that he still uses her Hulu. That kind of made me a bit jealous. But then He was telling me that he thinks I don’t care about him because I don’t ask about his days. I was thrown off because I feel like I’m doing everything I can. I said I’m very sorry, and that I do care. And that I want to hear about his day. He seemed a bit sad, and said “ok I’ll let you go” and hung up. 
At this moment, my heart dropped to my feet. I knew I was going to breakdown for 36 hours. I started texting him after saying “I really care about you” “I’m so sorry” “do you still have feelings for your ex?” Stuff like that. He called me back but I was too tearful and upset to answer. I told him I’m not in a good headspace. He didn’t answer me the whole night. He tried calling me this morning and sent a message saying he wants to talk. 
But I am EXTREMELY depressed right now. I feel like I am going to fuck up this beautiful thing we both have because of my bipolar. I’ve told him about it before, but this is the first time he’s actually witnessing me in an episode. 
I am afraid to call him back. I texted him “you’re so important to me and I am afraid the more you get to know me the more you won’t like me” 
He hasn’t answered yet. I feel defeated. I need some outside perspective. What do I do. How do I cope