I only had 3 group therapy sessions yet and I'm completely lost. 

I had to wait for a year before I could start my therapy due to waiting lists. I went to seek help since I was struggling a lot and I suspected BPD. Well I was very right because I got diagnosed with BPD and started with group therapy a few weeks back.   


Now let me start with saying that I've been trying very hard to work on myself. I bought a lot of books on BPD and things like DBT, I read a lot of stuff on reddit/discord groups and I've watched hundreds of videos like Daniel Fox's. I really want to be able to handle my BPD in a healthy way.   


So I was somewhat excited to start with therapy. I wasn't a big fan of the group therapy idea, but it's what the psychologists suggested and I trusted them. Well, I really fucking hate it. We do a 3 hour session each week with **ten** people, which is a lot!!! Everyone had some personality disorder and we talk mostly about our daily problems. The thing is, I don't want to hear about others daily problems. I couldnt care less, especially if they experience it all in a complete different way than me. It's more confusing than helpful to be honest.   


Also I'm not comfortable with sharing my problems with people I don't know. I know it's part of the progress and all, but it's just too damn hard. I hardly open up to people I genuinely love and now I feel kinda forced to share, although it's scaring the shit out of me. So I don't talk, but then therapy won't work. You see my frustration here?   


Well, last few weeks have been a living hell. My mood has never switched so many times a day and I can't stop thinking. Group therapy made me question everything I feel, think and do. I don't know what's right or wrong anymore and there's not enough room or time given to get a fast solution. My psychologists says it will be better, but they don't have to be me every single day ffs. 

I'm already considering to stop. It feels good, but on the other hand it feels like I'm manipulating myself. I'm just lost and it's ruining me and the people around me, because I've been not that much fun to be around the past weeks. And I can't explain it all that well. I'm just so fucking angry and sad and confused about this.   


Sidenote: I do like the DBT workbook, it's been helpful so far but again I'm doubting it, since it might stand in the way of my therapy.