I have always been a slightly weird kid since primary school. I was hanging out kid who had ADHD even if I have never been diagnosed my self. At the end of primary school the teacher told my parents that I was slightly immature but that would resolve itself. I feel like he was wrong. When entering high school, I became afraid to talk to most people and I didn't know why. I was mostly hanging out with other slightly immature people and we played video games the whole time. I developed a slightly childish humor that some people seemed to appreciate. Looking back, I think they just liked the fact that they didn't need to say anything intelligent or serious with me, they found my attitude funny but they never actually engaged in conversations with me. Also, I always looked much younger that my age which didn't really help.

After high school, I did pure sciences and mechanical engineering. Luckily, one friend from high school stuck with me and invited me to dinners and some other ever with his other friends. However, I always felt like they were his friends and not mine, and I didn't talk much to them. They are really into animes and league of legends but I never really hooked on it. I spent years studying without a whole lot of social contact. I had good grades and that friend was talking to me so I felt like I was doing great and I was just introverted.

During my internship at university, I was with another intern who was a lot more social than me. He had great stories to tell and knew about a bunch of topics. I also started to talk to students in my final project team and I realized that they all had great social lives and they have a lot to say. That's when I started to question what I have been doing with my life. I spend most of my time studying, playing the same few video games, watching youtube videos and going to a few outing where I didn't add much to conversation. Now I'll be an engineer soon and I feel like I won't be able to handle the responsibilities and the pressure, I'll never have fulfilling conversations and I'll be way too boring to connect with any girl. I'm only 22, I completed my studies as fast as possible and now I don't feel ready for what's coming. I feel bad for thinking this, but I wish I could go back to school to become a technician instead to have slightly less responsibilities and so that I could have had time to socialize more. I'll be expected to handle the pressure and make important decisions soon but I am still struggling to get out of bed before noon on my days off.

I will be consulting a counsellor about this in a few days but I just wanted to know what other people think.