Are you like me? Do you see the sad in everything? The bittersweet blanket of blue? I find myself a sentimental person, one who spends a lot of time viewing life through violet colored glasses. 

I seem to like it, I do like it, sometimes. I’ve got a lot of things, things like depression, anxiety, addiction, etc, but beyond these words are the complex emotions that twist and bend and blur. My life feels like a muddy cloud, and when I put on my raincoat I still get wet. 

Do you ever feel like you have a stack of stone strapped to your back?  You can only carry it for so long before you have to put it down and cry a bit, or maybe a lot a bit, and then you’re ready to carry it some more. It’s something you can never part with. I feel like that sometimes, lately I’ve felt like that a lot of times. 

Tonight it doesn’t feel like a burden, more like a sad child that I carry around and take care of. No matter what I do it’s sad and I understand. I hold it and I console it, but I keep moving. I know the child is me, and that is why I can never part with it. It needs love and I need love, and I try to feed it what light I get, but sometimes it’s hard and it gets dark. 

I’ll always care for that child, even though it takes so much. It takes so much, but it has taught me just as much. We all have a child like this, but some don’t take as much. Some take more. Others take everything. 

For whatever reason my child is always sad, and because it’s me, I’m always sad. Good things happen, I do good things. I have a life many may muse as average, even meaningful. Though meaningful, it is also built by all shades of blue. Beautiful, burdensome blue. I see the sad in everything. Sometimes I’m okay with that.