For the first time, I'm actually feeling good with the idea of killing myself. I don't see the point. My problems are permanent and there is no way other than death so I might as well have control over that. I might as well decide when it is time to pull the plug. I will wait til I'm 30. I think that's a good year to do it. I have two years left. I wanted to wait until my parents were dead and gone so as not to cause them grief but I'm not sure I can deal with life for too much longer. If I wait til 30 that means I have a year left basically.