I had a bad childhood cause of my horrible parents but it got better as I entered highschool and made friends. I don’t speak to them anymore as they’re all accomplished while I’m sitting here in my mid twenties trying to figure out how to fix my life. I would play video-games all day to forget about the problems I face and have faced. 

Every time I think about my past, I feel sad and regretful. I wish I could have done more in the past but I also wish I could go back and hang out with people who enjoyed being around me. I’m a former shell of the enthusiastic and social person I was in highschool. 

I’m a very emotional person and would always cry before but I’ve been holding out for a few years. Tonight I broke that streak. Tears just came flowing out thinking about it. Didn’t even cry but just let the tears subside as I wallow in my sorrow. I hope that death is in my near future as I have lived for far too long. I’m not suicidal anymore but I wouldn’t mind if Death takes me anytime soon by some random chance.