I like having good days where my anxiety doesn't get me too bad but also I hate it because as the day comes to a close I know there will be a catch. Then all I can think about is that, I start doubting myself *what if I don't have anxiety and I'm just faking it or maybe this is how everyone feels and I'm just an anti-social and overthinking things? If I don't have anxiety then will I always feel this way?* Then I realize I'm literally making myself anxious again, it feels like my mind can't let me relax that if there isn't anything specific to worry about then there ***must*** be something coming in the future.

Sometimes I really just want to get out of my body, see what its like to be "normal" it boggles my mind that some people don't just have a million things racing through their head constantly, I want to experience that so bad.