therapist asked me what i wanted for myself and i couldn’t think of any answer other than nothing - i just want to be nothing. i don’t want to feel this sad or this empty or this alone all the time. i don’t want to feel like yhis much of a failure at everything in life. my head hurts from how much of a colossal failure i feel like and my whole body hurts from isolation and abandonment. i’ve been asked to go on antidepressants but it feels like i’m just being handed off from one professional to another because they can’t or don’t want to handle this. they talk to me like i’m crazy or unstable. i feel like anyone who’s been through what i have would be depressed too. they keep asking me to show myself compassion, wouldnt it be compassionate of them not to treat me like a crazy person? 
tldr do antidepressants help and any recommended brands or whatever