My anxiety is so bad that I can only work 16 hours a week, and even that is overwhelming. I wake up hours before work, paralyzed and dreading my pathetic little 4hr shift while my partner works full time and busts his ass to actually make it through. I feel like a weak link, because for my whole life, people around me have told me I'm being lazy/trying to get out of responsibilities. I have four hour shifts and the only way I stay sane is counting every hour. "One more hour before it's only two more hours of work". I cry almost every morning before my shift. I have no energy to do anything else, it all goes in to making sure I can afford rent. My days off are spent dreading work and recovering. My body keeps getting so run-down that it feels like I'm sick. I can't take this anymore. My brainfog is the worst its ever been. I feel like a zombie. If this is what it takes to live, some days I question if its worth it. I have tried a few meds, none have been able to get me stable. I don't like being a burden, I don't like not having energy to give my partner the affection and support he needs. I've hit rock bottom and I'm tired of it all. I used to work 10hr shifts five days a week, and now I'm pretty sure that I'd become a panicking, useless mess on the job if I had to work like that again. BRB, retrieving the world's smallest violin.