I have auto immune disease and experienced a lot of abuse in the medical field and created a lot of traumas for me so now whenever I see a practitioner who may be able to help me and be much kinder I split on them and then they refuse to work or treat me. It’s not like my reasonings are not valid .. because it is, it’s that how I respond and lose patience and trust in them. For example I’m asking my practitioner to treat my strep infection that’s resistant to antibiotics but instead she goes and treats another aspect of my deliberating illness and I’m focused on the strep because it’s becoming more acute and I feel like I may die because I’ve had strep for 8-9 months maybe even more.. and so I told her I’d cancel the appointment because I need to work on treating my strep infection and then I get confused and think maybe she’s in the right and I’m in the wrong and back and forth who’s in the right who’s in the wrong and I become indecisive and then they think I’m maniac and insane so.