***Please only answer if y’all are still together, I can’t handle the doubt/negativity creeping into my mind more than it already is. 

My husband and I have been married for a year and my symptoms had only just started showing probably 6 months before we got married. I’m overly aware of how my mind works/ doesn’t work, I’m in therapy, and I guess I just expected things to be ✨instantly perfect✨ since I’ve been working on myself. 

I struggle on the daily with thoughts of him being better off without me and how unfair it is for him to have to deal with me and my disorders. He has been learning about BPD and how to “handle it” alongside with me and he’s pretty great at noticing my meltdowns before they happen and giving me grace on my bad days. He’s been an absolute god send. 

Even with all of that, I constantly worry that he is going to leave because of my BPD which in turn makes me want to push him away before he gets the chance to leave. (I know we all deal with that conundrum)  

I guess my question is: does it get better? Have you learned how to cope? What are things that you’ve implemented in your relationships that have helped?