and i’m so tired of it. i feel so shitty and i can’t stop crying. there is nothing worse than someone trying to tell you how you feel. 

he is so quick to say “you’re splitting” and it just feels like he’s not listening to me or that he’s invalidating my feelings. i feel so helpless trying to communicate to him. he doesn’t even reassure me anymore it’s always you’re splitting and you made that up in your head. and the lack of reassurance, him trying to tell me how i feel, and just blatantly not listening to me causes me to spiral and get even more upset than i originally was. 

like i brought something up to him (the lack of sex) i had been thinking about this all day and yesterday. but no…i’m just splitting. he didn’t even address the topic. it’s just “you’re splitting.” like wtf. i feel like i’m being gaslit.

it really hurts my feelings because he gets insecure and i reassure him. even if his feelings aren’t based in reality. i listen. i’m there for him. always. but with me i get my bpd thrown back in my face. 

he said we should take 10 -15 minutes break, but the way he responded really made me not want to talk to him so i’m just going to take something to put me to sleep. i feel so alone