So to start, about 5 days ago while I was at work my family booked my dad a flight to rehab across the country. He's an alcoholic and it was his idea, but it was very sudden and I didn't get to say goodbye. It didn't hit me at all, and I'm slowly processing it and adjusting to him not being home and picking up the work he normally does.

A week ago my car broke down at work, while my dad was still home, and the next day he came and jumped it for me. Fast-forward to today.

I hate my job. I am an underpaid daycare employee/essential worker in a pandemic and have not gotten any acknowledgment whatsoever for staying on top of everything. I pick up coworker's shifts, work overtime, and still my bosses forget about me and I end up staying until close. When I got home I blew up over something insignificant and just hid away and sobbed over all the stress I've been feeling. I had a friend's birthday get-together just 30 minutes later, so I got ready and headed over there.

It was really fun and we stayed all night, but when it was time to leave my car wouldn't start again. I got a friend to help me jump it and still nothing, so I had to leave it there and she drove me home.

Now I'm just so done with everything that I can't even move or be sad about it, I'm just dead. Tomorrow I'm supposed to hang out with a new friend for the first time after rescheduling not once, not twice, but three fucking times and I have to do it again because I don't have a ride and they live 30 minutes away. I feel like I've been trying as hard as I possibly can and still ran myself into a ditch and nothing's gone right. I don't want to let anyone else down but I can't fix it.