I’ve been lurking for a while trying to see if other people’s problems are like mine. Trying to understand if maybe my current diagnosis of GAD is really BPD or something else or in addition to? My symptoms can be severe or they can be minimal. I have periods of depression and periods where I feel “fine” or even happy however on the daily I have extreme mood swings. When i say extreme I mean happy and laughing and then by the end of my sentence I could be crying. Usually though, it’s a couple of hours between each mood shift. I can’t drive, I have to force myself and usually will have a panic attack or start crying. I have severe social anxiety. I was a bridesmaid and it felt like the worst experience of my entire life. My taste buds and interests change rapidly. I have been mid sip drinking orange juice when I decided orange juice was disgusting and had to spit it out. Usually though, my interests and tastes change at least weekly or every 2 weeks. The only reason I’m still married is because my husband tries to be understanding and he usually is. And the only reason I have had the same job for so long is because I work from home and I can hide from behind my screen. I have trauma from my childhood, I wouldn’t say any abandonment but there are things that definitely damaged me. I am afraid to go to the doctor to get an official diagnosis. Worried of being misdiagnosed and the entire social situation that, that entails. And honestly I don’t fully understand BPD and it scares me. I feel like this has to be it but I don’t know. I know I need help. I lash out then hate myself for it. I tried to walk away and meditate every time I start to feel overwhelmed or annoyed or stressed out but all that led to was me hiding in the bathroom so no one saw me cry. My symptoms do seem to get worse around my period so maybe it’s PMDD or both? I also have OCD tendencies. Things have to be a certain way. I avoid certain words and numbers. I have to count to 30 every time I put deodorant on... The thing is strangers or people at work would probably never have guessed I’m even dealing with any of this because it seems like 90% of the time I only hurt the people I love. I don’t want to be this way and I know I need help but I’m scared. I just moved to a new city so I don’t have a doctor set up and I’m not sure I even want to go. Idk what I should do. I know I’m going to have to go eventually to get an official diagnosis but I want to know does this sound like BPD?