I’m in a bad position right now. I’m about to have to go to a homeless refuge because I’ve gotta get outta a toxic living situation but I’ve got no job, no money, not friends and no other family expect for who I’m trying to escape from. I’ve never been able to hold down a job for even a full year before and I’ve only got three months to find accommodation after I move into the refuge. I can’t see any other way this can go than me getting there, finding a job, getting out on my own and then losing the job and having nowhere else to go but the streets. 

I need help, I need some kinda support or something, I don’t even know what I need the most. I think I just need my brain to consistently work well enough that I can work, but no medication I’ve ever been on has done anything at all and neither have the 3+ years of therapy. I’m with another therapist at the moment and I just don’t see how she’s gonna be able to get me stable enough not to wind up homeless when I’ve made no progress with her or anyone else before. 

I even think she’s probably the best “fit” I’ve had for a therapist so far but it just doesn’t matter. I still don’t feel supported by her. Or anyone. I can’t. I’ve never felt supported by anyone, ever. I have no memories of what that feels like but I know I need it. But it just can’t happen, it doesn’t matter what I do or how hard I try or who the other person is, it just doesn’t matter, there’s some kinda disconnect there and I can’t *feel* supported in any way. Not in their empathy or their validation or anything, I don’t feel anything from any of it and I don’t know what to do.