I want to cry.

It's hard to express care needs. I'm sure some of you relate. I've been working on identifying them and expressing them. There's an issue where like, I feel frustrated when I need care and inadvertently sabotage actuay *getting* the care by communicating that I need something in a demanding or impatient kind of way. Like, it makes me feel u considered when the toilet paper roll is bare. I always change it. I am in a long-term (5+ yes, live-in) relationship with my fiance. I regularly make him his favorite breakfast, chocolate chip pancakes. My favorite breakfast is a recipe for scrambled tofu that he found. He never makes it for me!! Yesterday I woke up and was busy all day, picked up our little brother, did dishes, did laundry, got groceries, cooked for the kid, walked the dog + fed the cats like always, and did my night shift. I was able to wake him up and ask for him to make breakfast like a relatively normal person, even expressing that it was my preference for my favorite food, and he still didn't make it. I got grossly over-sugary, minimal effort toaster waffles, and I even feel bad for not being grateful.

I am distraught and frustrated becuse I just don't know how much effort I need to put in before I deserve to have my favorite things, **and I don't know how to ask for them.** I can't express myself right now because of how upset I am. Please. Advice.