I’m gonna give fake names for the sake of easier story telling. So my partner (Dan) has this close friend (Kate) who has hated me from day one. I’ve literally only spent time with her once about 2 years ago, but she decided early on that she disliked me and it has gotten progressively worse. Now she has started calling me abusive and encouraging my partner to leave me. I am not abusive, and Dan says that they don’t think I’m abusive. However Dan is continuing to hang out with and chat to her. This is really damn hard for me, I don’t cope well with being disliked, I don’t cope well with being accused of being abusive especially with the stigma surrounding my disorder (Kate is aware that I have BPD). I’m just not coping at all with this situation and it starts so many arguments between Dan and I because Kate is just so triggering for me. I think about it frequently, it plays on my mind all the time. Kate has turned one other person (who was a mutual friend of ours) against me already, and I get worried that she’ll spread shit about me further and turn others against me.

Tomorrow Dan is going to hang out with her and every time this happens I freak out because I get it in my head that she’s going to convince Dan to leave me and I’ll be abandoned and alone. I am genuinely so scared and it feels like such a betrayal for Dan to still be so close to Kate after all the shit she’s put me through. Like I get that my partner is their own person and has known her for years and it’s complicated but it just makes me feel so shit that Dan isn’t properly defending me over this.

Idk I just want to get this off my chest, it’s been really hard for me and I feel like maybe this sub will understand how painful this situation is to be in. If anybody has any thoughts or advice, anything is appreciated rn. I feel so unstable over this and am so panicky about tomorrow.