
I have a history of disordered eating and I know my mind isn't quite right, but the first thing I wanted to do upon discovering that my partner (M35) still has an obsession with underdeveloped girls having pain inflicted upon them was to stop eating. 

Idk if I'm just overreacting but I can't deal with the content that gets him off. I've previously set the boundary against him looking at underage girls (he agreed to it) and asked him if that's his fetish, so I could at least know what I was dealing with (he said no). 

Idk if I'm just being a psycho for asking that he simply doesn't search for the above content. It makes me want to starve and punish myself to be exactly what he wants, and also brings up disgusting memories of what men his age did to me when I was in high-school. I've tried so hard to get over this but the only way I know how is to become it. 

What should I do?