I have this acquaintance. We don't really have anything in common (like at all). They keep encouraging me to open up about the more traumatic experiences of my life - ex boyfriends etc. They reciprocate the divulgence of information. But I still hold back.

I find it really hard at the moment because I don't know where my personality begins and ends. I want to start anew and not bond over shared trauma. People say I have a personality, but I also I don't feel it. I don't want to talk bipolar stuff. I don't want to relate how fucked up I've been that I don't really do adventurous things anymore. The things they do on the weekend are things I gave up a decade ago mostly after the first hypo. I now mostly stay home and read books.

Other health conditions mean I have given up a bunch of other things. Cant drink too much, cant bake every weekend because of PCOS (you have to give up a bunch of how gi foods). My life is thoroughly boring in comparison.

I also have trouble trusting people, I feel (ironically) that a former boyfriend got all my dark secrets and then used that to create a false sense of connection. Got me.

I feel sometimes that bipolar is the only personality I have and have had. And it's made me a shut in with nothing to say. I haven't dated in a long time either because I don't think I could take on anymore trauma. My stories have a definite end point.

Just thoughts? I want to divulge, but I feel terrified.