(xpost)

This might be farfetched but let me explain.

So in Russel Meares' Metaphor of Play, he surmises about how broken people like us are lacking a self. He goes on to say that babies develop their self through the mother or *the other*, and if the relationship with the other is disrupted you never get to create your sense of self. That's why we are so fragile and so dependent on others for a sense of self, and basically why it's so traumatic to lose the *other* (your FP) that you've been supplementing your self from (I might be making some liberal inferences here but bear with me). The child, the true self, is naturally curious and playful and exploratory, but can only be when it feels safe and cared for by the other (for more on this see secure attachment in attachment theory). Inner child work acknowledges that often times the strong uncomfortable uneasy feelings we choke on are those that are being restrained in the child self, disallowed from expressing itself. The carer may be the one disallowing the child from doing so.. it needed to do so during trauma to survive and had continued its maladaptive ways past when the trauma happened. So, it's almost like there's two people in there: the child and the carer i.e. a relationship

So this is where the show Steven Universe comes in handy (also it's an amazing show and you should watch it just for that). In the Steven Universe Universe, *gems* are anthropomorphic beings who represent different gem stones. The beings can also fuse into a larger being, comprised of two or more gems. The show often uses this concept as a metaphor for relationships and as a euphemism for sex (kind of). Some characters stay fused for prolonged periods of time. I don't want to spoil it, but there are both good and bad examples of this. A codependent toxic relationship vs. a healthy symbiotic one. 

The reason I bring this up is because of the parallel to Meares' concept of one person essentially being *a relationship*.. I don't know if this was the show's writer's intent. But it makes so much sense to me, whenever I think of myself as a fusion it strengthens my self love and makes me feel less alone, like I can take care of and be there for myself and am less reliant on other people to give me what I need - I can give it to myself! This is what normal people do naturally and effortlessly because their carer self has for the most part been loving and unconditionally supportive. 

I've been on these forums for a while and I've commented countless times about self-love and creating a relationship with yourself, a conversation with your inner child, and sense of community within you, an awareness of the relationships going on inside you. Are they toxic, or is your inner child taken care of by you no matter what she's feeling? Are you validating her rage, mourning her sadness, validating and holding her when she's scared? When you start accepting your inner child no matter what, when you're becoming a healthy fusion, the shame begins to lift and then the real work can be done. 

So that's my take, I hope it helps someone. Everyone will have different metaphors and angles of describing it, but I have noticed this seems to be a pattern in those a little down the road to recovery. Good luck! Fusion power! ✊💙