My birthday is this week and all I can think about is all the people I could see if I hadn't burnt down the bridge between us. I even think that maybe some of them don't hate me and would accept an apology from me... but I've already come this far in terms of cutting them off - I'd feel even weaker giving in.

I'd probably cut them off again in a month after some stupid bullshit anyways. And then I'd be right back where I started, wondering how I let myself fuck up so bad.

It's going to be a shit birthday. I'll be drinking and thinking about how 22 years ago my fucked up brain was brought into this world. I guess that's not anything to celebrate anyways.