I’ve intermittently had depressive symptoms for the past 5 years or so. But the past 6 weeks I’ve slowly dropped further &amp; further to now being the most depressed I’ve ever felt. It’s been about 10 days now that I’ve been at my “rock bottom” &amp; I just can’t pull myself out of it. 

Every day I dread even getting out of bed, even more so waking up and actually doing something with the day. I’ve tried really hard doing all the things you’re “supposed” to do when depressed. Ive been taking long walks while listening to music, I’ve been playing more with my dogs,  I’ve tried finding new hobbies I enjoy, I’ve been doing the hobbies I’ve enjoyed in the past, I’ve been trying my best to get out of the house as safely as I can with covid. I went to my favorite restaurant the other day &amp; had a beer &amp; lunch at the bar. As I was sitting there I couldn’t help but think that it seems like I’m doing all this shit just to do it. I just don’t enjoy life right now. Like at all. I’m going to one of the nfl wild card games on Sunday to see my favorite team &amp; I’m not excited at all. 

I guess I’m partially venting as I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this stuff other than my therapist &amp; my wife. But I guess my question is- does this ever end? Or once you’re here, are you just here? &amp; if you’ve pulled yourself yourself out in the past, what are some things that seemed to help you? I’ve seen many posts on this sub people talking about they “can’t remember life not being depressed”. Thinking about feeling this way forever only makes me feel more depressed &amp; hopeless. If this is life, I don’t want it.