You’re penetrated. Your mind takes a moment to comprehend. your body reacts on autopilot/. You try to flee but are unable. He’s over you. He weighs more than you. His hips pin you down. Your brain kicks in, maybe we fight. He takes it as playful. He holds your wrists. There is nothing left to do but freeze. Comply. You try to speak out but his mouth is over yours. He mistakes your muffled distaste for moans. He finishes. It’s over. He releases you. You thank him for god knows what. He asks if you came, and you instinctually nod hoping that if you please him he won’t try to do anything more to you. Roll over. You can't cry. The damage is done. You mentally question if you asked for it. If you liked it. You want to report it but immediately, hear the defense.  You analyze what you were wearing, what you had to drink, how you arrived at his house willingly. the subtle signals that may have instigated this fate. You think about his past, his mother, any character witnesses that will speak to how he was a boy scout, all American athlete, how this will ruin his life. And you sit in the darkness in front of an imaginary jury who proclaim “not guilty”. So you grab your shoes and pants, thank him for a “good time” and walk your way back to your car. 