I depend so heavily on knowing what is happening on the days I don't have my usual routine of work and domestic stuff. So today is a Saturday, if I've planned to have a day of nothing without seeig anyone and that is what I'm expecting, it's bliss, a chance to recharge my low batteries.
However, if I've had plans and they've all come crashing down around me (which they have, twice in this instance) my brain can't seem to cope with the jolt of sudden loneliness and abandonment and I just descend into panic, and anyone who caused that is, in my mind, completely irrationally, out to get me, or doesn't get how damaging it is, or how painful it feels and I get stuck in a cycle of pushing away, pulling back, self destructive behaviour, tantrums and depression just because a plan changed and I can't go with the flow. I find it exhausting and frustrating. Any body else?