Hi…
For the past week, I’ve been thankful enough to have been employed with my father in his office. I have an amazing relationship with my father and always want to make him proud and happy. You’d think this would be an amazing opprotunity for me, but I think I threw it all away. 

While working there, I did great work and really enjoyed the people who I worked with. However, no matter how much compliments and reinforcement I receive, I always feel like I’m not doing enough. I’ve been waking up with cold sweats, thinking about all the ways I can mess up my work. This is only exasperated by the fact that my work is connected to my fathers, so I feel pressured to not make mistakes to mess him up. 

Yesterday morning was the worst. All morning I was having stomach problems, shaking, and I couldn’t stop my mind from focusing on only the worse. Stupidly, I took to the road to get to work, but ended up having a panic attack along my commute. I ended up spending 30 mins on the side of the road crying and hyperventilating, all because of my inability to calm down. 

I’m reaching out to professionals currently, and have gotten some responses thankfully. I’m just in a really dark place right now, and I feel so bad for letting my father down. All he’s been is super supportive, heck he even told me I should quit because he hates seeing me so distraught, but I feel even worse that I’m putting him through this too. 

I’m 19, I’m young, I believe I can overcome this like many have before me. If anyone has any recommendations, or has gone through a situation like this please reach out to me. I could really use some help. Thanks.