I don't blow up often. Usually, I internalize anger at myself instead of at others. I've had maybe 3 or 4 blowouts in total.

But the worst one I had, ever, was about 2 months ago.

Now, my brother and me have been planning him moving out from my abusive step father's home for the last 5 years or so now. We were waiting for him to graduate.

He did so, and then we started to make some real plans.

When he was in high school, he started dating this girl. My mom wanted me to be friends with this girl. I heard about her first from my mom who introduced her as someone who had a lot of the same anxiety issues as I do. This should have been a huge red flag, but it wasn't.

My step father crossed the line, won't get into what he did, but my brother ended up moving in with me earlier than we thought he would. And, well, he brought the girlfriend, insisting that said girlfriend moved in as well. This would have been fine, if it weren't for the fact that she was 16, homeless, with a drug addict mother and a psychotic father. Oh, and also, should mention again SHE WAS 16.

An 18 year old cannot be living in my house with his underage girlfriend who can't pay rent or sign a renters agreement. That looks like child slavery. We could get into a lot of deep shit for that. I explained this to my brother, and he gave me a dreamy teen love speech. Me and my boyfriend, now fiance, decided that the girl could come over, but she needed to be here 50% of the time or less. We told her she could stay for 24 hours, but no longer.

My brother threw a holy hell fit over this. He kept saying "I feel like our relationship will die if I don't wake up next to her every morning." Gag a maggot. He kept saying how heartbroken *I* would be if *I* couldn't see *my* boyfriend every day. 

Note here though, my boyfriend is in the navy, right after we started dating, he went on a 6 month deployment. We also lived 2 hours away from each other, so even when he was in town, we saw each other once a week at most.

The little fucker was like "well I'm used to waking up by her."

I was like "tough shit, she can't live here until she's 18."

Eventually, my brother talked me into her being able to stay for 3 days at a time. That deal lasted about 2 hours before I realized that meant 6 days a week. I took the deal back and he said it was unfair. 

Whatever, there was that.

Then there was the girl herself. She did not know how to make small talk. She would bring up just about every trigger you could possibly imagine casually. She'd talk about cutting, rape, drugs, homelessness, abuse, all without any letting up or caring about how those subjects would upset me. But I was polite about it anyway. I'd try to talk about the beach and she would say "one time I went to a beach with all my cuts showing and my dad didn't do anything."

Like, okay, cool, now you've triggered my anxiety, but I still have to be the grownup thanks.

And apparently the place where she was living was full of evil drunks who didn't care about her. She would say how they didn't care about her diet restrictions, and two seconds later she'd get a call from the people she was staying with asking if she wanted anything special for dinner.

But despite this, I believed every sob story she lobbed at me. And boy there were a lot. I won't go into most of them, but apparently her mom tried to bake her as a baby. Don't know if that one is true, drugs do crazy things. But it was not even close to the most traumatizing story she told me. Because I can't sort the truths from the lies from the exaggerations, I'm not going to mention most here.

One I'm pretty sure is not true is that her evil step mom was in charge of the hiring and firing at 4 different chain restaurants in her town, so she couldn't get a job anywhere in her town. Kay. Ya. That sounds very true.

And then, my own mother asked me if I wanted to apply to become this girls guardian. At this point in time I was so on the girl's side (I hadn't put the lies together yet) that I said yes. Then I immediately regretted it. It didn't amount to anything, of course, I have several diagnosed mental illnesses myself and I work for basically nothing, I can't support a child. But this girl had my mother wrapped around her finger.

Then, at the same time my brother was going protection crazy. He walked me through my house telling me exactly how a bugler could break the door, or come in through the garage window. Remember this bit, it comes back.

Soon enough the 'evil people' the girl was staying with decided they were absolutely fine with becoming her guardians.

It got to the point where I was in a constant state of anxiety and paranoia. I didn't know what was truth and what was lies. My mom thought I was the only one being unreasonable. 

And then all hell broke loose.

The girl comes to me crying her eyes out. Someone had sent a pizza to my house with her phone number and my brother's name. She went on to say how this had happened twice now back at her home which was 2 hours away. She said she called the pizza place, and found out it was paid for in cash, by hand. Someone had drove two hours to our local pizza place, knew my address, and was in town. I was leaving the country in two days, and a stalker had my address.

And that is when the worst panic attack of my life began. A manic panic attack too.

We called over my mom, I was losing my shit, and we tried to figure this out.

But guess what? The girl had got the payment method wrong. The pizza had been paid for online. I have no idea if the hand pay shit was a lie, or a mistake, but it didn't matter. I was pacing, hyperventilating, shaking, crying. When a panic attack that big starts, it isn't that easy to bring down.

And, instead of my mom telling me to take my sleeping meds and go to bed, they got this handled, they kept me involved.

And then they called the girl's baby eating mom. The mom who was living in a drug house still, although she was clean for a month.

They then invited me to get in the car with this woman and go to a police station.

Thank god I said no.

My own mother let my little brother in a car with a crack addict.

I had no fucking idea of what to believe and think anymore. I stayed up spiraling until 8am the next morning, and I went upstairs and finally screamed at them. I screamed at them about lying. I screamed at them about being stupid. I told them if I didn't get the girl's mother's phone number right that instant so I could call and verify and much as the bullshit they've thrown at me as I could, the girl could not stay in my home.

So she left.

And my brother left.

And my brother chose my abusive stepfather over his psycho sister.

Now I hate myself. But I still think even though I over reacted, I was mostly in the right through all of that. I let this absolute drama go on for a solid month before I finally blew up. 

But still, my mom thinks all of this drama was on my anxiety alone.

Can someone tell me if I was in the right or not?