Not sure if it's okay to post this here but I really just want to talk to someone about it...

I'm literally so fucking miserable. I did all this shit my whole life to make other people happy and got a degree I didn't even want. But now I finally realized what I want to do: create. I want to create music and sing and act. That's all I've ever wanted to do. 

Now I'm trying. I finally have a chance. But I feel like my brain is rotten from so many years of pleasing other people and studying science instead of what I actually wanted to do. I doubt everything I do, to the point that it's crippling. Like I'll make a song and be like "oh but it's shit anyways" and then it's like I can't even move because I have all these voices in my head telling me I'm shit anyways so I might as well give up. At one point, when I was still in high school, I could ignore those voices. I could sing onstage and act and do all this stuff without any fear. But now I feel like everything I do is crap. I don't even know how to be inspired anymore. And it hurts so fucking much because there isn't another thing that I would ever want to do. 

I don't know what to do anymore. It's eating me alive. I'm so insecure about literally everything about myself that I don't even know how I'm still alive right now. 

I don't know. I guess this is me rambling. Sorry.