Just a little background, I'm the one who has BPD. I got diagnosed in early 2019, triggered mostly by resurfacing family trauma and my struggles in school. My therapist ended our weekly sessions in mid-2021 saying that I have developed enough to manage it without close supervision and that I should only get back when things get overwhelming. I've been employed since graduation, my relationship with my family has been better than ever, and I managed to stay connected with my friends from high school and college. 

I met my boyfriend in January of 2021 and we're long-distance. He's been nothing but supportive and loving, and right now he's one of the most important people in my life. He has problems of his own, but I would be lying if I said that my BPD didn't make some of our struggles worse. There were times where I've hurt him and he's hurt me, but recently I had a slip-up that really affected him.

I contacted my therapist today but he didn't reinstate weekly sessions. We talked and some of the things he said are helpful, but we haven't really touched on romantic relationships. Me and my bf are doing pretty okay now but I'm scared of another flare-up. I don't want to keep hurting him. He would be more hurt if I tell him to go and I can't do that because I want him to stay too. Breakup is not an option because we love each other and we continue to improve. But still, I get scared.

We talk about this and I ask him this question, but there might be some things that he might be a bit reluctant to say because of his kind and gentle nature.

Right now I'm just determined to make things right. I want to make things easier for him. He really is an amazing man and I want to show that to him. 

To the people who have partners with BPD: What are the things that your partners do that you wish they don't? What are the things that you wish they did more? What are the things you wish they did less?

Thank you in advance to those who will answer!