I got rage mad at my super sweet boss over something I can’t even remember a few months back. I had so much evidence that she was sweet that I knew something was up with me. When I de-hulked, I immediately started looking for a therapist...

I keep splitting in the middle of hanging out with friends. I’m so afraid of hurting someone’s feelings when this happens cause my face falls, my voice changes, and my responses get short and I feel powerless to stop. It’s happening so much now and I’m so afraid of it happening around my siblings, they’re super sensitive and can read me like a book. I don’t know how to explain what’s happening. I don’t tell people about my diagnoses. 

I’m processing a lot of childhood stuff alone and I’m having breakthroughs, but the side effect is I’m splitting constantly. I’m working remotely and don’t interact with people much anymore. I’m loving it, but part of the unpacking was me realizing that I am constantly performing for people, and that I do have different selves reserved for different people. I think feeling forced to perform by accepting the company of others triggers me. I’m realizing I really like who I am, but I want to keep her a secret cause I don’t think she’ll be appreciated. I don’t think I’d know to let her out, and even if I did, I don’t feel compelled to at all. But I think that’s supposed to be the end goal?