I had a drink tonight. Not even a full can of the stuff, just a hard cider. Wasn’t trying to cope with anything, it’s just my favorite drink and I haven’t drank recently (I work early mornings) so I thought I’d have some with my late dinner.

And my brain feels really bad now. 

Lots of bad thoughts in general. Feeling hopeless and bad about myself and worthless and my boyfriend moved out of state at the beginning of the month and I miss him a lot. He’s out with his friends though so I don’t want to bother him because a) I already feel really bad about myself, annoying him won’t make me feel better about myself b) they’re at an arcade so it’s probably too loud to talk on the phone anyways. 

Sigh. It’s hard being here without him. I’m so used to being able to talk to him (in person) when I feel like this but now I can’t.