With the holidays here It’s making me very depressed, I started therapy about a year ago and quit becuase it became to tough. It was making memories that I’d much rather not remember from my childhood come back and now with the holidays and all the family stuff everywhere it’s making me depressed anxious and jealous. I wish I had a childhood instead I was busy taking care of my younger brother and parents, I had to get a job early on to help pay bills so my parents could feed their addictions. Ive never been this depressed for the  holidays and it sucks everyone around is holly jolly and I’m just bleh I don’t want to see family for thanksgiving but I don’t want to be alone again. It’s wild I can go months without hearing from family and that’s okay with me but now that it’s that time of year I hear from someone weekly I can’t stop worrying about my dad being abusive on thanksgiving becuase the bars are closed so he’ll be fucked up at home, I can’t get some of the abuse memories out of my head I can relive the moment the police came in with guns drawn to do nothing becuase my mom didn’t have marks on her, this time of year sucks!