Fully diagnosed with bipolar after two years of a provisional diagnosis and Now also co morbid Borderline today after wondering what I had going on in my head for a long time 
. Feels a bit overwhelming actually. I think that time in hospital will do me good and the suicidal ideation got out of hand and I honestly don't see myself with a future. Not even beyond next week, I'm seeing a crisis team daily and my husband is worried for my safety and I honestly feel like I'm going to do something and soon and haven't shared my plan with anyone.

I feel so tired of fighting, breaking down, unable to look at myself in the mirror, crying when I see my face, self harm, anxiety, PTSD, my dads death is breaking me as the circumstances are awful. The depression is crippling and the hypomain is life destroying and humiliating l.I'm totally fucking broken and all my friendships seem so intense and amazing and they have all fizzled out like they always do. I feel alone and terrified of going back to normal life.
I have no idea what I want from this post but I'm falling apart, I've actually broken.