“You got the world by the ass” is what my mom always says to me. I get what she’s saying. I’m 23, I have a good job that pays well, a place, a vehicle, a woman, and generally keep my shit together. But there’s just an emptiness, something I can’t explain.

I work nights on 12 hour shifts, 80 hours (plus some overtime) over two weeks, so when I work stretches I’m glad to be done and able to relax. But when I’m home, I have no interest. I say interest because I’m motivated to do my grocery shopping, my chores, personal hygiene ect. But once it’s done, and it’s “my” time, I get sad.

I guess I’m sad because nothing excites me, and I come to the realization that this might just be life. You take care of what needs to be done and that’s it. I sit and drink mostly, and I just wanted to know if others felt the same.

It’s been getting real bad lately, so bad that when I’m nearing the end of my “work week”, I get anxiety knowing my days off will consist of more work (keeping my stuff and me in order) and drinking alone on my couch.