I'm going through a fucked up time in my relationship and I'm trying to show my SO that I can do better and be more stable or...at least not drag him down when I'm splitting.

The thing I don't get though is... Why can't I keep myself from snooping into things I know are going to hurt? It's like an impulsive choice to touch a hot burner, I fucking know it's going to hurt if I touch it so...why do I touch it? 