I feel so embarrassed by this post because it feels so silly but I think someone might be able to relate. I'm 30 and I have been dealing with BPD since my early twenties. Over the years I have always had periods where I was obsessed with a certain celebrity, I would think about them all day, learn everything I could about them, collect thousands of pictures and look at them for hours, daydream about them... It used to last a month or two and then I would move on but lately I noticed it's been getting worse. I have been obsessed with the same actor for more than a year now, I think about him all day, whenever I'm online I'm reading about  him or looking at his pictures and most of my days are spent daydreaming about a relationship I will never have. It got to the point where I get depressed because I'm not his actual girlfriend and I ended up obsessing over her too but in a different way. I saved all pictures of her I could find, got a similar haircut as hers, dyed my hair her color and I try to dress and act like her. My heart hurts by thinking I will never be with him and I would give anything to be her, it makes me miserable, even suicidal. My life sucks, my mental health has been slowly deteriorating and I also deal with a bunch of chronic health issues that stop me from working or doing pretty much anything, I don't have much going on for me. The weird thing is that when this obsession started I had a boyfriend, it obviously didn't work because we are not together anymore but I was in a relationship, things were as 'normal' as they could get. Does this happen to anyone else? I know it's normal to have crushes but they are not supposed to take over your life like this to the point you feel miserable because you can't be with this person you don't even know.