Honestly I've never been in a relationship/dated and I've never felt this deeply or felt so intimately with someone. I'm 24 and I've been in this relationship for almost 4 years but after a year of almost breaking up then resolving, I feel like it's actually going to end this time (due in part to how much my mental health has deteriorated/how much I've been splitting..). I'm at a point where I'm aware life will go on and I will likely move back to my parent's house as I try to improve if the breakup actually ends up happening, but right now I feel pretty distressed tbh and I really don't know how to cope with this. I've had tons of friends leave me in the past including 2 really close ones (one online and one in real life), but this relationship breakup really feels like it will be 10x worse. He was my best friend before this relationship and I've made more memories with him than anyone else in my life. Idk. I've never posted here but I just needed somewhere to vent about this.