I wake up on time. I know what I have to do today. I even wake up several hours before the due time to mentally prepare myself. I know the consequences of not getting those things done. And yet, I don't do anything at all. I tell myself to get up, to get up, but it is as if my legs and my brain were unable to move. Please, get up, I tell myself. And although I know the harsh consequences of my acts, I actually feel super relieved of not having to do what I'm supposed to do. It feels as if I am deliberately making that choice, but I don't want to do anything, I want to die. I can't focus, I am floating, deaf in a hearing environment, I don't know what the fuck is going on. 

WHY???!!! i'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS SHIT. I am stuck on time.