I gaslight myself cONSTANTLY on the daily basis telling myself I shouldn't be allowed to feel this way because others have it worse and I literally get so sad about that. But those others are MOVING ON, THEY'RE MOVING and me? I just keep imagining and ignoring everything every single day but lately I haven't been able to continue to do so. Like, it just got to a point I couldn't do it anymore.
I really don't wanna kill myself but I just feel so overwhelmed by the future and what to do in the present. I keep repressing these feelings and maybe, after all, I'm the one who suffers the most. It just hurts so much thinking about it.
And just the fact I don't have anyone to lay on my side but when I do, it's so complicated. It hurts so much I don't wanna think about it.