First thing, I never been to a therapist; therefore I haven't been diagnosed with BPD, I felt I have to say that before I write what I'm about to write.
A year ago I started reading about BPD and I felt that it explains how I feel and how my mind and feelings work.
I want to talk about a girl I met and how I felt during the time we had together, I only had one real relationship in my life and it ended of her leaving me which left me broken and unable to move on for years, I'm craved to be loved and have a stable relationship and always trying to find this person, my experiences to find this girl made me meet terrible characters throughout the years, most of them were mean to me, especially when I act with absolute kindness, I doubt myself and feel that I'm not capable of maintaining a relationship.
At the end of every relationship I feel drained, staying at home most of the time and incapable of doing what I have to do, no matter how easy to be done, and I stay in this state for months before I start my journey in life once again trying to find peace and love, I met a girl at the end of last year, she approached me and told me that she's into me and gave me attention and was so sweet to me, once I started to react lovingly on that she flipped.
we talked a lot about how we feels and showed each other our vulnerability, and by the days She stopped on being caring, and started to talk less with me, being late almost always even when she's the one who asks to meet, sometimes she didn't come at all and went to see other friends, at one time she weaponised her knowledge of my mental state at me and it made me angry and I decided to leave, I told her that and she made all she can not to let me leave, she came and told me that I mean a lot to her and she is sorry of what she was doing and wouldn't do that to me ever again, I forgave her and we kept on seeing each other, after a while she started ghosting on me, soI decided that's about it and will just leave quietly, two days later she had a car accident and injured herself, that's when she felt she needs my attention and kindness and started talking and asking for them, I was mad because I just want to leave but I felt I can't do that when she's on time of need, so I kept on visiting her and always buy her things when I did, once she recovered two months later, she got back on ghosting me and meet other friends, I felt betrayed and it made me angry, I  blocked her and we didn't talk since, but I still think about it, my feelings towards what I had with her keeps changing, from madness, sadness, foolish and it just still hurts and I can't get it out of my head. 
Excuse me for my English and big love and thanks for everyone reads ❤