So I dated someone because she was really assertive and blunt about her interest in me and I didn't really find her attractive at all but I loved that she gave me attention. But then after a few weeks I broke up with her because fuck if I know why. I guess it was too much. Then I started seeing a psychiatrist again. It's not helping that much. Or maybe it is. I don't know. She moved offices and I lost the letter that said where she went so I can't reschedule. Also I got back together with the ex I just mentioned. But only after trying to get back together with all my other exes. All 2 of them lol. She took me back immediately and got really intense quickly. Then I broke up with her again after she had a breakdown I couldn't handle. She broke down a lot and I was usually supportive and caring but I just couldn't do it anymore. Now I'm sexting with a coworker. Even though he has a boyfriend. And I'm not gay. Like I am not sexually attracted to men at all but I really like the attention gay men give me. And he's a really fun guy and really cool and I want him to like me. I've also tried to kill myself a few times. The other day I ran out of my workplace into traffic. My coworkers ran after me and calmed me down though. I'm a mess. I feel like everyone hates me.