I don’t think my FP knows they are, and I try to keep it that way so as not to scare them away or damage the friendship (known each other for a couple years now). I'm constantly on edge about getting too close or coming across too obsessively because of a past bad experience of a close family member and their friendship with a pwBPD. Because of it, I try to set rules for myself like never asking more than once a week to hang out and minimizing bringing them up too often when talking to others. When we actually hang out, everything seems normal, but I've been noticing for a long time I've been the only one who initiates hangouts, and that makes me feel concerned that either they've gotten used to me setting things up or they can just deal without me. I know I'm overthinking it, I just wish there were a set in stone way to say, "Am I being too pushy with hanging out?" without it coming across as fishing for validation or needing consoling. I just want the truth. I don't mind being the one to bring up potential plans, I just know how it feels to be bombarded by someone to hang out and you agree because you've got nothing better to do and hate saying no so much. I try to give them space sometimes and don't ask to hangout to see if they would take initiative, but we once went three weeks before I broke and asked to meet up. It just feels like a balancing act between pulling them too close or pushing them too far away and I just need some grounding and proper perspective on this.