I'm so fucking angry ALL. THE. TIME. 

I'm angry at random people, I'm angry at my friends, I'm angry at C, I'm angry at myself. I don't even know if I'm splitting or if I'm just a miserable person.

I used to say (still do) that I don't get angry easily. Well that was a fucking lie.

I'm filled to the brim with this red hot rage that wants OUT.

I have these fucked up fantasies of just having a total breakdowns, screaming, throwing things, saying the most hurtful things I can think of. And I would be so good at saying hurtful things. I'm a terrible person.

I just want to love like I did before. I hate that starving myself is the only thing that keeps me from lashing out at the people I love most.