I hope this is OK to post, because I have no one to talk to this with and am feeling very low about everything.

I knew someone a while ago who I ended up getting involved with. This was after a year of this person talking to me/avoiding me/repeat - this caused so much confusion within me that I couldn't stop thinking about it and trying to analyse it. 

We eventually got together. This person said told me that they had issues with intimacy, with their anger, that they sabotaged relationships often, etc. I didn't know much about BPD then, and just thought that this person had some other issues relating to relationships. 

Every so often, usually after we'd gotten a bit closer, this person would create distance by doing this very distinctive 'speech' - I remember it because it would always seem out of place and was very speech-like. They'd tell me that they didn't want to get close to me, and that they didn't want anything serious with me. 

I'd always say "OK, that's fine" - I was often confused at this because I had never really pushed for anything other than what was going on between us, and usually after this, we'd just end up being very close again, and all of the stuff said in the speech seemed to be forgotten by this person, as they would then act in the opposite way to the things they'd said. 

They broke up with me twice, once because I was late responding to a text due to my battery dying. This was the only time I'd ever been late responding. Also, I was confused as to why it was such a big issue, as this person had repeatedly said we were "just casual", as I'd mentioned above. I have had relationships, and I never do things like ignore messages, or lie about my whereabouts, or anything like that. I was accused of being a liar, that I couldn't be trusted, etc. I was very confused, as none of it really made sense to me. This was the first time I'd not responded, and I was confused by the reaction. Then I was broken up with. 

I was then ignored for a while and we started dating again. Very close from the beginning, my ex promised that when they started feeling temperamental, they'd take a step back. They did this for a while, but one day they just exploded at me in front of a bunch of their friends. Again, I was shocked. None of what was going on seemed to be in proportion to anything. I was broken up with again. 

I was really hurt by all of this, and tried to talk to my ex about things. I wasn't really 'allowed' to. Once, I asked if we could talk on the phone. Ex said yes, but that they wouldn't be talking in the call. So we had a call. My ex literally did not even say "hello". I found the whole thing odd, ex just sat there in complete silence. I didn't really talk either, because I didn't know what to say to, well, silence. Again, I had no idea why this was happening, why my ex was so angry - It hadn't been me that inflicted anything onto this person. 

A few days later we had another call, in which my ex just ranted about things that were wrong with me. Not an argument, it was a rant directed at me, with limited chances for me to answer, agree, disagree, or say anything at all. This was something my ex had been doing throughout the relationship - very distinct 'rants' or 'lectures'. 

Anyway, ex got angry again during that call and hung up. The next day I messaged and said that I really hated falling out, and ex responded in that we could "forget about all this shit and start fresh". That was the last thing that was ever said to me, as suddenly, ex just stopped responding to me at all. 

We were in the same environment for a while, and I was avoided completely. I was blocked when I tried to say "hi, how are you?". 

While we were dating and just before, ex would often speak about not wanting to be with anyone because they always end up hurting someone and didn't want to be the person that someone hated. Once, ex started crying after a conversation we had, telling me that all they do is hurt people. Another time, ex expressed apparent sadness over the possibility that I wouldn't want to talk to them if they slept with someone else - seemed that they didn't want to be perceived as someone that's hurt another person. It seemed to be a common theme. 

The avoidance and blocking - while I get that in relationships this happens, I have had experiences of this before - seemed just more intense and unprovoked. It felt as if I have been cut out of this person's life, and has made me feel as if I've done something wrong, which I haven't. 

This person often told me that I was someone they connected with, and that it was rare for them to find someone they liked so much. So I don't understand the cutting off, the avoidance, without even so much as a "I don't want to talk, anymore". Just nothing. 

I am not trying to ‘pathologise’ BPD at all, but I know that my ex displayed clear and very strong symptoms of it with this behaviour and with other things in their life. I didn’t attribute any of this to BPD but after studying mental disorders for three years, I think it is fairly reasonable to say that my ex had BPD. Also, ex told me that they had it, so I am not going to contest that. 

Does this behaviour sound, to anyone here, familiar? Why would I be cut out of someone’s life, so suddenly, when I haven’t actually done anything? I just don’t understand it. This is the person I was the closest to, and who expressed feeling the same, so this makes no sense to me.