I don’t know how i’m going to get through life like this. i’m constantly paranoid that my friends hate me, i haven’t felt apart of them in a very long time. Every time we meet up i just stand there, smile anytime anyone says anything, pretend i’m having fun and it’s painfully obvious so i come across like i hate them all and i don’t i just don’t know how to fit myself in anymore because i don’t know how to talk to people. Everyone seems to be able to hold conversations and know what to talk about about, i’m just not comfortable around anyone and i don’t know how to make myself comfortable. I feel like i’m just constantly fake and their perceptions of me constantly make me feel anxious and sick and i hate how i come across but i can’t make new friends even if i want to cause i can’t talk and be interesting to save my life, i’m so concerned with what they’re going to think about me that it’s exhausting. I’m sorry if this comes across as whiny, I just don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t want to die but a life like this forever seems like torture. Any advice would be really appreciated :)