I’ve been feeling numb for years. At times I like it, at times I feel like I need to escape and be normal. I don’t miss people. I’ve been staying in the US the past nine months since I’m an international student and I’ve never once missed my family. I was told that I was gonna feel something in my chest the first months but I just...don’t. I’ve never missed people. I don’t feel love for my family. I don’t even feel empty. All I feel is like something has been weighing on my chest for a while. It’s not pain it’s just...there. Like, if it was to go away, I would finally feel relieved. 

Now the thing is I do feel sad, I do feel angry, but I never feel happy. I never feel in *pain*. I just feel like I’m emotionally sedated. The only negative emotions I feel are caused by pride. 

Does this make sense? Does anyone else feel the same? Is anyone over this? How did you do it?