I've recently noticed something that I was unintentionally doing which i was actually also able to do intentionally, and that was just completely cancelling my emotions from one second to another. This is not even exaggerated, but if I'm scared of a rollercoaster ride and gripped with panic I can literally just turn off my emotions and feel numb throughout the ride and this applies to literally everything else, I can make myself unlove someone, unhate, and even force myself to feel comfortable with things I normally wouldn't. But the thing is, once I do this I can't go back to the feeling I just blocked out, which is a miserable state to be in because I will feel this gaping emptiness and boredom which is even less bearable than the highly loaded emotions. I mean, it's kind of nice to be able to just shut out the unpleasantries but I think i'd rather be sensitive and laden with emotions than an empty shell of myself