Over the past few months, I’ve become increasingly detached from my sense of self, and reality. I’m at the point where my own thoughts feel foreign to me. I’ve become so introspective, so desperate to feel the same way I did when I was in elementary school. I was fully present. Life now feels like it’s a TV program playing in the middle of my brain. It sounds like hyperbole, but it isn’t. I don’t feel present anymore. My past 3 months have been nothing but a blur. I’m skipping through my days. My sheer existence doesn’t feel like my own anymore. I don’t know who I am anymore. I simply do not understand. I’m so lost. It’s way past sadness. It feels like there’s a giant hole in my brain. Alll of my physical senses seem almost muted. Every day, I look and look for a way out. I want to feel better. I really, really do. I miss being able to feel normal. Hell, I don’t even feel human at this point. I’d give anything to feel present again. I’d give anything to make life feel like an actual thing again.