Anytime I talk to someone, I'm quickly reminded of just how socially challenged and behind I am. I find myself searching for answers to the most simple of questions. So, it's not a rhetorical question. I actually want to know.

I've tried being more forward about thing's, on reddit and IRL, I tried holding back and simply listening. Since none of those approaches seem to change how people naturally tend to avoid me, I'm sorry if I don't have more pleasant ways of speaking. After a lifetime of needing to tiptoe around every honest conversation I've ever had, you'd think I would've gotten better at it. But I guess not.

Why am I trying to figure out what makes someone a coward? Well, I guess I'm trying to see if I fit the bill. I don't tend to care about such labels. They have no power in my eyes, only the perception of power, and even that seems flimsy at best. But hey, maybe I'm wrong. 

My entire life, past, present, and most likely, future, has been a minefield. No matter which way I go, I get screw by a bouncing Betty. What changed for me? How do I solve my problems now? Easy. I don't move. 

For twenty years I've been stationary. Maybe for fear of stepping on one, or maybe just not knowing what direction to even go. Whatever the case, I'm getting too exhausted to be afraid anymore. My instincts are starting to tell me I'm better off just walking, and whatever happens, happens.

Am I a coward for not walking, following my gut? Or am I a coward because I refuse to stay still any longer? Or is it something else entirely? A lack of resolve? Indecisiveness?