I've been trying to find a therapist to help me for months. Calling and calling, interviews about my condition, saying my birthday so many fucking times. Finally got an appointment, I get stoked. They call and reschedule. Then the very next day call and reschedule again to an even later date. I have abandonment issues and this has made it to where I don't feel comfortable going there. I already told them my quality of life is absolute shit right now. I have rapid cycling bp1 and bpd. 

Then comes today, husband gets a text from his fam that he urgently needs to come to them because his brother has been in a bad relationship for over a year now, keeps going back to get cocaine and "free presents" and says he actually hates this man but uses him for things. 
They come from a family of money, his brother got school paid for him and has a really great job. My SOs parents just keep enabling this behavior then call us over for intervention type of meetings just to send his ass back there. 

I'm struggling so hard with this I feel resentment building against his family. My own family hates me because I use weed to help with my symptoms because I literally can't even get in to see someone. 
All the while meetings go down for my husband's leech of a brother. For someone actually struggling this is like spitting in my face. I've been begging for help and feel like im drowning, why am I not worth helping but someone who is literally intentionally hurting people over and over again? I fucking hate this disease and everything it's done to me.