There’s this quote, “I never really learned how to just like something. I always let it consume me.” 

I feel like this is an incredibly accurate depiction of me and my hyper-fixations. Currently, it’s a TV show (that ended this year) and the fictional character I love. But like any of my fixations, it eventually  begins running deeper than the surface stuff, and suddenly it’s not just the show and the character but the actress who plays her. Anyways.. I’m finding it hard to get through the day without letting it all consume me. I get this sort of...achy, sad feeling (similar to homesickness, if that even makes sense..) that none of it is real and I’m alone in my feelings and the show is over so I’ll never get to see any new scenes or the actress play that character again and it’s just this sickly cycle where I can’t think about anything else. I follow the actress on IG, I’ve written FanFiction - something I had never done before this - and I feel like I’m in too deep. I know with the pandemic, for me anyways, being alone with a lot of time on my hands has made it harder to focus on something else. I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else has dealt with something similar and if so, how do you cope? I haven’t broached the subject with my therapist as we’ve only had a handful of sessions thus far. I just wish I knew how to deal with this. It makes me feel sick.