13f don't mind me using years and yes I have posted here multiple times but I deleted those posts so in 2020 I had like intrusive thoughts to harm others which made me anxious and I ruminated for like probably a hour or something like that but I had them at one point I think before 2020 but they went away for months and came back worse but now they haven't really been present in months and also in 2020 I was also depressed and sometimes didn't have much motivation but not to the point of like staying in bed all (not judging people that unfortunately deal with that) I did at some point lack interest in hobbies but there was one I became obsessed with but I held my current hobbies for like years and I could still feel happy for awhile and thought negatively of myself and felt depressed every day but most days would have a moment of feeling happy not usually that long though 2021 still depressed but again still could feel happy still sometimes lack motivation but I didn't really stay in bed all day still thought negatively and now pretty much I don't feel depressed as often and can feel decent but I don't get why felt like this it probably some sort of phase and doesn't sound bad of to be depression unless my brain preparing to make me feel worse I still have moments where I think negatively if you have questions you can ask I was diagnosed with autism years ago but didn't have these other mental health issues then and I still don't have a strong interest in hobbies and months ago lost interest in that one hobby I was obsessed with