I’m scared to go but at the same time, now is probably a good opportunity because I’m moving to the new house, my friend is leaving, covid restrictions are easing, and I’m interested in trying to transition into something worth doing. My experience with day treatment has been that they make me feel motivated, I get out and find a job, I relapse, and I forget everything I learned. I’ve already done the program twice and don’t want to go again… but my brain keeps obsessing over the fact that I should get more involved within the community and now is a good time. I don’t even know if I can keep up with the program because my energy is so low. After my last job as a peer coach in 2019 didn’t end well, I stopped making more attempts to get a job. I feel like I want to shape up my life…idk but when I think about the future, everything feels bleak. Tomorrow doesn’t sound like it will be better than today. My mom says maybe we can go shopping some time now that most of the stuff for the house has been bought. I want to look better, live better…but I also want to do the right thing.