I (23f) have a friend (fake names), Anna (25f) who lives across the country. We’ve been close friends for 4 years. We had a lot of ups and downs together but I felt that our relationship was very solid for the past 2 years, although we only have communicated through FaceTime due to the distance and COVID. We were supportive of each other through break ups and issues with parents, and called for like an hour every 2 or 3 days. This was my first time seeing her face to face since then.
I went to visit her and a friend of mine, Bri (22f), was allowed to tag along for a few days and then was flying home. 

We did a road trip, my friend driving and all of us contributing to gas. I offered to drive, she said it was okay. The mood was a little awkward because she was so hyper and a bit different than I remembered but the 3 of us were having fun and getting along well. Everything went downhill when we arrived at this beach after driving a while. The plan was to hang out on it for a bit and then go to pick up her friend that was joining us on the trip, Claire (25f, I’ve  never met her). After we parked and everything, Anna contacted Claire to see when she wanted to be picked up, and decided to do it right then rather than wait 2 or so hours. Claire was 20 mins from this beach, and wasn’t done packing yet so Bri and I said we wanted to go stay at the beach while she did that and they could just meet us there later. Anna said okay, she would come back and we’d hang out at the pier, and went to get her. I didn’t hear from her for 1.5 hours, so I called and asked where she was. She told us to take an Uber to our hotel (1 hour away and costing $45), rather than driving the 20 mins back to get us because she said the traffic was bad.

We told her Uber was so expensive and to please come back, Claire could’ve taken an Uber and didn’t, and the plan was for everyone to come to the beach. She refused. We told her Bri didn’t even have a mask, and she said to just buy one at a souvenir shop and it’s “not that hard, we’re all adults”, we can pay the Uber and get over it. I said please come, this isn’t cool and she hung up on me and accused me of crossing her boundaries. I told her that I was really upset to be left at the beach and she sent back that she felt that she didn’t even know who I was? I let Bri call from my phone and she begged Anna to come, saying we felt unsafe (that was a bit much, but not a far stretch), and Anna hung up the phone on her too, then refused to answer and likely put her phone on airplane mode.

The hotel was under Bri’s name, so she decided to call and ask if someone had checked in under it, and not to allow someone to do that without her being there. Anna and Claire got to the hotel and dropped our luggage from the car off with the front desk and went to stay elsewhere that night. They told us afterwards by sending me a pic of the tags to claim them. Anna said we could meet the next day and to enjoy our night.

I texted Anna in the morning and told her our plan, saying that they could meet us and I’d bring Claire to the airport to leave at 7:30/8. Anna said 7:30 would be best to get on the road.  She also said she wasn’t allowing Bri back into her car. She was friendly back to me but said she didn’t want to meet during the day, but we’d have fun that night (after Bri would leave). Bri and I were alone that night/ the next day without a car, and took the bus everywhere while they used the gas we contributed to. It took us forever to get anywhere, and the original plan was to leave at 9, and drop Bri off at the airport.

Anna later asked my ETA and to be picked up and I said I would try to be there at 7:30 but may not be able to until 8. Bri and I met up w an old friend around 5 who gave us a ride around to visit some things, but we went too far, there  was traffic, and we were late. I told Anna I wouldn’t be there until 8:15, and she told me I was disrespectful to her friendship and she isn’t a taxi driver. If I wasn’t there by 8:20, she was leaving without me. I just told her we were in traffic. I was upset by how rude her tone was in her messages and was crying and dreading spending the next days with them knowing how much tension it would be, so Bri said she would talk to her when we got there. The old friend took us to the hotel and we got there at 8:15. When we arrived to the meeting spot, Bri tried to open the door to talk to them and they didn’t. We walked over to the other car to put her luggage into the old friend’s car and they sped off.

I’m assuming they thought Bri was expecting a ride to the airport or weren’t going with her, but I called Anna and she didn’t answer. Claire blocked me right after I messaged her and asked her for the hotel to meet them. Anna then blocked me on all social media. I was stranded alone (my friend had her flight) 7 hours from my luggage in our original spot, and across the country from my home. I think that was insane.

I ended up leaving my luggage back at her house 7 hours away and took a flight back home after her mom confirmed she’d send my luggage to me. Otherwise I would’ve had to get a flight back to their house, then to my home across the country and would’ve paid about the same amount. But then when I left, her mom told me to pay Anna $200. I only owed her $60 from the trip, we kept track of all expenses in an app. When I asked for what, they said for a stop at a grocery store but didn’t tell me the amount. There’s no way I owed her that much but I had to shut up and pay it to get my things back, so now I’m even more upset. They also expect me to pay to send Anna’s things I borrowed back, although she chose to drive off without me just like I chose not to go back to their house on a plane to get my luggage, so I know she should be responsible for that. I’m not sure if I should demand my money back and for them to pay for their stuff to be shipped back or just call it quits. I’m more upset about the loss of my friendship.

Am I right to think that stranding us/especially me alone at the end was crazy? Did I me and or Bri react poorly? If so, does that mean I should apologize, or is what Anna did extreme and unforgivable? 

tl;dr Was visiting a best friend across the country and was road tripping. A friend and I were dropped off and told we would meet back up at that spot, but best friend never came back and left us an hour from the hotel. Things escalated and the next day she left me in a big city alone at night after a series of conflict. I think everything could have been handled better and I could apologize for not reacting better. At the same time, I don’t want to be a doormat and I’ve been told by a close friend that  the only way I could’ve deescalated things would have meant not respecting myself. Is what she did forgivable anyway?