Work stress has always been a trigger of mine.  Ive been at my job for 6 years.  I work an office job.

Since the onset of my bipolar, I tend to worry obessively about social exchanges.  I worry that something was too awkward or taken the wrong way.  I worry that I'm going to lose my job.  I worry that my opinion wasn't respected, and I need to say something to someone.

And that last one is what I did about 9 days ago, and my stress has spiked, and it hasnt come down.  If it keeps going like this, I'll probably end up manic.

I had a talk with one of my coworkers about some incidents over the years that I think were unprofessional.  Well, the backlash has been huge.

I've basically turned a supportive office into one giant awkward moment after another.  I know from their perspective, they think I betrayed them, and threw my coworker under the bus.  And it's true.  They've all but said it.  Well they have by completely avoiding all eye contact.  They avoid meeting me in the hallway.  When they have to interact with me, they take the opportunity to take a shot at me.  It's gotten bad, and it's almost to the point that they're trying to get rid of me without firing me.

I'm not doing well.  I understand their perspective, and I understand mine.  It was a mistake having that talk with my coworker.  I should have just kept it inside and not bring it up.

I've started looking for a new job.  While it is the best option at this point, that's just more stress onto everything else.  I'm a software engineer, and the interverview process for this is a lot of work.  Most companies have no fewer than 3 interviews for one developer opening.

I fucked up so bad having that talk and how I approached it.  Everything has turned south so fast.