I don't know where to start or how to fix myself, I am at my lowest, my suacidle impulse has never been this strong, 2s I've been hospitalised this month when I should be dead. I've sat up all night I have ran out of zopiclone and diazapan I'm on many pills but i know they won't give me these anymore because of suacide attempts with overdose, if you look at the last 10 years I really should be dead, I slit my wrist so bad I cut through my tendins and had stitches I lost so much blood. I want to kill myself evin more that I'm bothering the hospital with intended shit when it was  not my intension to be saved. My meds don't work for depression bipolar insomnia or anxiety. Does anyone eles have no friends? I mean not 1 person I talk to ever I have no old friends no old work friends just nothing but I don't have the desire to have people care yet I'm writing this post. Can anyone please tell me if you have lived this chaotic too? Right now I'm really fighting to not to overdose and sleep forever