 I just broke down in tears. It's only the second time I've cried since she left 3.5 weeks ago. I just keep replaying all the times that my head got in the way. All the little changes she made since we first met until she left me. How she was walking on eggshells trying not to upset me or hurt my feelings. I only began to figure out what was wrong with my head the day she left. Now I am beginning to have a better understanding of why I am the way I am. I am not normal. Part of me is scared I'll never have a healthy, happy relationship. Part of me hopes I can. All of me hopes she'll call or text. I have a long road to get healthy, but I think I could begin to explain to her that none of this was her fault. I never hated her. My mind kept telling me that I wasn't good enough for her and then hearing comments and seeing behavior that proved that. Rational me knew it wasn't true, I don't know how to shut irrational me up. But I'm in counseling now. And I hope they can help me figure that out. And I hope she gives me a chance to explain, and help me learn to cope and communicate better. She has her flaws. The problems in the relationship were not entirely on me. But she is a kind, sweet, compassionate person. Please come back, love.