I can't hold down a job because I get bored and aimless, and the emptiness that comes with feeling I'm in the wrong place/doing something I don't connect with makes me suicidal. I constantly shift my self-perception from week to week, day to day, hour to hour; sometimes I think I'm great, other times I think I'm garbage, there's really no in between. I constantly make terrible choices, one of them being impulsively MOVING house which has cost me thousands because I feel like an alien outsider wherever I go. I keep moving in the hopes I'll finally find somewhere I fit in, but how can you find somewhere that you'll be happy when you don't even know yourself or what you really want to start with? 

I wish someone could just tell me what to do and plan out my daily life for me, because I have no fucking idea what's best for me and what I really want. No matter what I try to do, I'm unhappy - and I'm empty. I'm so tired of it. 