I guess I was lulled into a false sense of security. It was starting to get warm and I stopped feeling suicidal and I started to feel normal for once. I started doubting if I even had bpd and feeling guilty for ever saying I had it. Made me feel like a liar. Im even still doubting if I have it now and I feel like all my suicidal thoughts are just me attention seeking  now I feel like everything's building up and even just not responding to messages from a few days ago is killing me. I keep going up and down like one minute I'm happy and the next I feel like dieng. The thing is idk if I even have bpd because I've always been told I don't. My mum always said to me when she was a kid mood swings were normal and im just overexagerating and she 'knows' I don't have bpd and one of my friends told me it's just anxiety so I'm just questioning if I'm just attention seeking and over exaggerating. I really don't know. I just wanted to rant on here I'm sorry about this.