Hey.
I had a very interesting anxiety attack today.
I am 25 and I have high-functioning autism.
I live with my mother and my grandfather.
I am incapable of living independently.
Today, a new show on Prime started called As We See It.
It focuses on a trio of people in their twenties with autism who go through a lot of the same difficulties that I do.
I watched it in one sitting and I felt like I myself was a character in it, it was that true to life.
My favorite show is Daredevil but this show was very close to topping it.
One of the things that make this show so amazing also feels very raw and hits extremely close to home for me.
I don't want to go into details and risk spoilers.
What I will say is that the difficulties that one of the main characters face is their relationship with their older brother which, while not entirely the same, has some elements with the relationship that I have with my uncle.
We're not exactly the best of friends.
When he was growing up, all he knew about autism was that Rain Man had it.
He believes that if you don't have it as bad as Rain Man, then you have no excuse to act differently.
When I come to him with a problem, he is very quick to remind me that he was the one who went out of his way to come over and set up my PS5.
" You don't have problems. You have a PS5. Stop acting like an ungrateful drama queen. "
I have a meltdown, he threatens to destroy the Wi-Fi router and I feel ashamed of myself.
I feel like I'm not allowed to feel negative emotions because I'm not paying the rent.
This show opened up that wound for me again.
I feel like the best way that I can communicate with him regarding my autism is by showing him this show.
I felt very uncomfortable about myself when I watched the show, and I felt very anxious but I love it for it, if that makes sense.