ill try my hardest to not make this post too long. I havent been able to create a solid relationship with anyone in about 10 years until quite recently a few months ago when an acquaintance reached out to seek help. I'm trying to keep things lowkey as to not scare them away but also not go crazy over this person because they're very nice and I know I will push them away and disappear if i give in to the urge of going all in (and it'd be very awkward as we attend the same classes at uni). Long story short, this person wanted a friend group for some reason, not to be borderline but we all know what I'm thinking at that point, and we've befriended some people that, while being totally cool and stuff, don't really seem to be like absolutely obsessed with us (well, me). We can goof around and such, I've always been a sort of a quiet class clown because I crave attention, but I don't really feel a connection with them. There's this one person that always inserts themselves in everything and genuinely feel like I'm going insane every time they start talking, they just make me so mad sometimes. There's also my ex FP in there, a one 100% based on fantasy only but still, I do not know how to feel knowing I've imagined a future with that person barely knowing anything about them. Anyway, I feel like I'm being replaced, I do not feel important or needed, and it hurts especially bad since I felt like I genuinely built a solid friendship with my friend because I helped them through a very bad period of their life. The fact that I'm in a friend group itself gives me mental breakdowns literally every single week because it is scary when you've been avoiding any sort of real relationships for so long. There's no way of running away since we go to uni together. I just want to quit, I feel so alone and unimportant, I don't even know if I'm making sense at this point.

Now they're comforting someone else in the group chat, i haven't said a word in almost 24 hours, my friend's the only one that cares but also I just know it won't take her long to stop. Should I leave? I don't know what to do. I'm going to hurt myself tonight.