Hello this is my first post here, I've been diagnosed with bpd in 2015. I've been smoking weed since 2013. I feel like smoking is getting in the way of me recovering fully. 

My first issue is that I'm too afraid to bring the fact that I smoke to my therapist. I've been seeing her since February so now it feels like its too late to bring it up. She has also signed me up for group therapy for emotional control and she mentioned that I have to be sober when I go, this will be happening in autumn so I need to quit by august at least. 

My other issue is that I smoke with my fp. I want to keep smoking so I can hang out with her everyday. I've tried quitting in the past but she keeps offering me even after I tell her I need to quit and I end up caving and accepting it. I feel like she takes it as a personal attack when I say I need to quit. The main thing I've read is to cut the people you smoke with out when quitting but I don't think I can or want to cut my fp out. 

I'm not going to lie, I have a lot of fun when I smoke and I enjoy myself. I've noticed that I can chill out and it even helps me when I'm splitting on people or having an episode. But I want to return to school/do group therapy and I know smoking will only get in the way and stunt me. 

Thanks for taking the time to read this, I appreciate any advice.