This will be a long post to give a better detail on my situation.

*TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS SUICIDE ATTEMPT*

I have a friend who I have known since childhood. We have always been close friends and we consider each other family. I’m close with her family as well. Recently over the past couple months, I have realized how toxic she is. The past year or two, she has done terrible things that are extremely toxic and disrespectful. She has even disrespected my relationship. One minute I’m important to her then the next I’m nobody to her. Especially since I’ve been in my relationship, she has given me the cold shoulder on and off and has even almost cut me off one time (but made a shitty excuse). 

You may be asking, why stay friends with someone like that? It was hard accepting it because she has always been a sister to me but I know she’s not a good friend. 

Here’s the problem, Over the past week or so she has been giving me the cold shoulder. I assume it’s because I am moving out of state with my girlfriend and she doesn’t like it (That’s my guess because she doesn’t communicate to me about how she feels). Thursday night, out of the blue she texted me to never message her again. Now, thinking about all the toxic and disrespectful things she has done to me I was mad. I told her about the stupid toxic shit she has done that I didn’t like specifically about how she disrespected my relationship, how she needs to grow up, asked what her problem is, that if she’s mad or upset because I’m moving with my girlfriend that’s her own fucking problem not mine, that I don’t want a friend like her and to stay the fuck out of my life. She just gave one word answers throughout the convo. After I sent my last text she just says “Yep.”

Her mom texted me 5 hours later after the conversation between my friend and I, saying my friend’s in the hospital for trying to overdose. (I called her mom for a brief minute and yes it is true, she isn’t lying) I was in shock, I felt a lot of anxiety and guilt. I still do. Her family barely fucking even keeps me updated but apparently my friend is well and in a 72 hour hold but I can’t help with feeling all these emotions. Guilt, anxiety, anger (because of how her family has literally left me on read all day and doesn’t update me at all). 

My friends keep reassuring me that it’s not my fault, but this is a lot to process and handle mentally. I don’t know where to start… I’m gonna have an interesting therapy appointment soon.