It's mainly about relationships but it rings true, for me, also with life in general. Anyway, I've been in a 2 years long relationship with a lovely, healthy man, and I've noticed this pattern on my part: 
- moments of jealousy, conflict, abandonment etc are TERRIBLE for me, I always end up crying and desperate, while he on the contrary usually keeps calm and never loses focus on the main issue. 
- but in times without conflict, I feel like I'm drowning in a pit of boredom. I don't know how should I feel because I don't feel "butterflies", I don't feel surprise or novelty (we have been together two years so far) or adrenaline. 
We try new things together but there aren't the intense feelings that I crave. 
So I only feel negative intensity. Positive intensity I feel only on special occasion, but the everyday life is pretty numb. Work, chores, maybe a dinner date but nothing like what I always thought love would be. 
I had the same issues in every relationship so I'm pretty sure the man is not the problem. 
In the first months there is a lot of positive intensity: endless texts, novelty, costant compliments... then it's like the man starts to consider me as "part of his routine" and the only way I have to feel some intensity in the everyday life is to start some conflict. 

Is this what committed relationships are supposed to be? A numb, emotionless partnership with some nice moments but no big romantic intensity?