We used to go on family vacations when I was younger and I'd bring a friend with me. My family likes to keep things light and humorous and joke around. But sometimes it was like my mother was trying to buddy up with my friend when they'd make a joke and she'd egg it on and try to add to it. I can understand doing it once or a few times, but it was constant and I noticed she'd keep doing it even if I got noticeably annoyed or hurt. It was as if me giving that reaction caused her to want to keep doing it. Then I would get mad and hold a grudge for the rest of the day. If I held a grudge, she'd make fun of that too and say things about how I don't know how to have fun or take a joke. My friend was young and didn't know any better, so she went along with my mom.

Honestly it seemed like she didn't realize how hurtful she was being and how much it isolated me but once I would get noticeably hurt, she'd double down because I think she felt awkward seeing my reaction she'd caused. I've always been very sensitive, and she knew that but it still didn't change anything and she kept doing it. It was worse when she and my brother were joking around with each other and I didn't participate, so she'd tell me that I wasn't any fun. Or when my brother was purposely trying to annoy me and I'd get really emotional and angry, my mom wouldn't do anything about it except tell me that she knows how tough it is because "trust me, (her) brother was even worse" when she was little.

Also whenever I told her about how much I hated school, she'd start talking about how she knows how I feel, but then she would start going on about how much more difficult it was during her childhood because of how strict her parents were and how she'd get made fun of for her glasses, braces, etc and had no friends. She wasn't invalidating me on purpose and I think she had her own things she still hadn't worked through, but the impact of her invalidation is still affecting me.