I bet nobody will give two shits about this but oh well.

Trying to make friends or even potential dates is a total crapshoot. Nine times out of ten the conversations never go beyond surface-level bs and I’m left to wonder where I went wrong. I’m tired of feeling broken. In this search for love and acceptance I’ve actually started to dislike myself even more which I didn’t think was possible. With all the friends I’ve lost, I’m likely the problem, but nobody ever tells me where to improve in the friend-department, so I never learn. 

My parents are basically my main source of socialization lately. Nobody else will willingly talk to me unless it’s school or work related. I have lots of acquaintances (or friends-turned-acquaintances) and no genuine close friends. Once my parents are gone I simply have no reason to be here.

I’m young but I feel tired and decrepit. I have no hobbies; I have no career interests. I simply want to live and be happy, and I can’t even do that. 
I want to at least make it so my organs can be donated to those who need them whenever I eventually decide to kick the bucket. That way I can finally put myself to some good use. 

So now instead of making myself look desperate as hell, I’m gonna mind my own business and just do things for the sake of my own well-being. Temporary happiness until I can’t handle life anymore. It’s only a matter of time!