19F, US

i used to date this guy beginning of 2019 and a lot of our fights got out of hand due to my mood swings, anger outbursts etc. he ended up going to therapy a few months into our relationship because he thought he developed anxiety/depression (later got diagnosed with cptsd). his therapist told him he was codependent on me, which led me to extensively research the term and learn about cluster b PDs. i started going to a therapist (college therapist, thus free) at the same time and after a few sessions she told me i probably had emotional dysregulation. now i looked that up and it was closely related to BPD. after a lot of research and discussion with my ex boyfriend i decided to broach the topic with my therapist. told her i researched it and a lot of the symptoms matched and if she thought i displayed traits. she immediately dismissed me and waved me off saying BPD is a serious diagnosis and lot of people diagnosed with it can’t even function. i felt so bad for even bringing it up. she just seemed to be so done with me after that conversation, like she couldn’t wait for me to leave. fuck that bitch for not even hearing me out. i’ve always thought of myself as high functioning and i feel like that shouldn’t immediately disqualify me from BPD. i’ve been on this sub for months and some of the posts speak so much to me. i’m still trying to get a diagnosis, but i seriously don’t know how to go about it. i’m a broke college kid in the incredibly fucked up US healthcare system. i don’t even know if i should make an appointment with a licensed psychologist or clinical psychologist or a therapist or a psychiatrist or whatever. i’m lost and confused.