I’m (m25) starting to think my gf (f20) of two years has BPD and it’s been a rough relationship. I just really became aware of BPD recently and many of the qualities of BPD suits her. She can easily go from being the sweet, funny, amazing girl I fell in love with to a girl that is calling people “assholes” and “pieces of shit” for driving too slow and/or looking in her direction which she considers “staring.” She can go from having an amazing day to it being the worst day of her life in a matter of minutes. She is afraid of being alone (but she was abandoned by her family so not sure if that one stems from BPD or past trauma). Our relationship can be so good and then it can turn ugly in no time. She is constantly between being good with her friends to being at odds with them. She does deal with a lot of depression because her life isn’t going in the direction she wants it to go, which I understand; but I know people with BPD also deal with depression, so maybe they’re related…?

I love her and I do want to marry her, but I’m not sure if I can constantly worry about when my great relationship is going to take a bad turn. Tonight, we were just talking about the prospect of getting married within a year, and then about an hour later she’s telling me to leave her apartment and she doesn’t want to talk to me—and the wildest thing is we didn’t even get into a fight about anything. She just didn’t want me there or to talk to her. This relationship has been and is ever becoming an emotional roller coaster and I really don’t know if I can hang on. I would like to encourage her to looking to get diagnosed and help but not sure how to approach the topic. I really just want what’s best for her. 

TLDR: my relationship with my possible BPD girlfriend is hard and I don’t know how much more I can take