hi y’all. i just turned 19 yesterday (new years baby, yes) and have history of bad health anxiety, which lead me to having a panic attack stay at the hospital that i thought was a heart attack around this time last year. ever since then my anxiety has been absolutely shit

ANYWAYS i’m in my bed absolutely shaken after using the restroom. i’ve had an upset stomach all night which has just made me more anxious (my diet has not been good these past couple days. i’ve been dealing with a lot of depression due to the loss of my grandpa right before christmas) my stool was almost bright red and i know that i ate red spicy chips and some red velvet cake (made red with food colouring) and maybe some other red stuff like tomatoes etc but of course me being me i’m convinced it’s some sort of cancer.

i went to my mom telling her (i usually don’t obv lol but i’m terrified) and she said i’m probably fine. i wanna believe but my mind is telling me not to.

i usually wouldn’t post something like this but i’m having a really bad time mentally and just need someone to speak to. if you read all of this thank you so much :)