Please help me with some perspective on this. 

My friend (35f) and I (30f) have been close for the past few years. Sometimes we see each other a few times a week, and sometimes we see each other once every few months. She's an incredible person in so many ways, and even though she often cancels plans last minute or doesn't text me back for a few days I understand it because I know she's very introverted. I try not to take it personally when she needs her space even though it sucks to have someone repeatedly cancel plans last-minute. In a couple cases I know for a fact she lied about cancelling plans only to hang out with other people instead. (definitely triggered my abandonment issues)

In the past she told me that her birthday is important to her. I was planning on being there for her birthday this year, but things worked out for me to quit my job and take a trip for a couple months. (This trip is extremely important to me for several reasons and she knows this) Two of her other best friends have birthdays very close to hers, so I didn't feel bad about booking a flight three weeks before her birthday--I knew she would have a fun group to party with.

Last night we went out and over the course of the night (and many drinks), she ended up starting an argument with me about how "everything's about me" and how wrong it was for me to be out of town during her birthday. (Within the past couple of months, she's picked a couple other fights with me. In both cases, it started because she wanted to leave a party before I did, but wanted me to drive her home--BUT instead of just asking me (or ordering herself an uber/lyft) she's tried to create drama instead. For example, last time she told me that two of my friends really wanted to leave, and that I should just go because they didn't want to leave me by myself. I told her "no big deal, I've traveled to foreign countries by myself, I don't mind partying by myself". Next thing I knew she started crying and freaking out, so I HAD to take her home, and she dumped a lot of stuff on me about how I "bailed on some plans with her and it hurt her feelings". I sacrificed my fun night to try to reassure her and be her therapist. The kicker is that neither of my other friends had ever mentioned to her that they'd wanted to leave the party early--she flat-out lied about that.) Last night I'd had it with trying to smooth things over, so I said a couple mean things. I'm sick of being manipulated into leaving events early to drive her home.

I feel awful knowing she's so upset about the birthday thing, but I also know how many times she's bailed on me at the very last minute, and I also think it's messed up to expect a friend to avoid traveling during the only window that they can just so they can be present for one birthday celebration. There are so many awesome things about the friendship, but I'm getting to the point where I'm wondering if maybe it's run its course. Am I being too quick to end a friendship, or is it time?

TL;DR flaky friend frequently melts down at me and attempts to sabotage my night, and recently blew up at me for wanting to travel for a couple months (because I'd miss her birthday). This is starting to become a pattern, but I don't want to end a friendship, but I don't know how to move forward.

I reached out via text this morning to acknowledge the situation, let her know that I love her and care about her, and see if she'd be open to sitting down to chat about everything. Haven't heard back and am kind of thinking I won't hear back. I guess I just needed to vent. Probably not much I can do about it at this point, is there? (Advice is welcome)