It is currently four hours before I have to go into a new job that I’m starting today, and I’m extremely anxious. However, I am grateful that the anxiety is only starting today because in the past I would have panic attacks weeks before the new job. Now I’ve only thrown up only once this morning which is honestly a major improvement. I hope this means my social anxiety is getting better. 

With the way my anxiety works I know I am going to want to quit this job for about the first month because that’s how it always go. I’ll believe that I can’t do the tasks their giving me or that I’m not smart enough and was hired by mistake. But I need to persevere. I just really hate knowing that the next month of my life is going to be rough from this and I wish my brain would stop making such a big deal of things. The worst part about starting new jobs is meeting the new people. I feel so judged when I first go in and I will replay every single social interaction I have today over and over in my head when I get home. 

Hopefully I can get through this without giving up too soon.