Like most of us, I struggle with feelings of emptiness. I've often had the sense that I'm not a complete person, that I'm missing a "big part." I'm always yearning for something to make me feel like I am.

I think this feeling has less to do with what I lack, and more to do with how I relate to the world and myself. I'm always looking for what isn't there instead of what is. And also, I'm not very present and I'm inhibited, so I don't engage with things as openly as I might, which makes my experience of life kind of empty, in some ways.

I'm going to try framing it this way, as an experiment: I'm not empty or incomplete, it's just that I'm missing something in the way I live my life. Rather than believing that I lack something important, I'm going to try to work on how I relate to myself and the world. Rather than focusing on my deficiencies and those of the world, I'm going to try to move toward what I believe is good and interesting. 

An inherent lack is unfixable, but an ingrained process is fixable--if I can understand better what the process is, why I've been stuck there, and how I can change it. And then I have to follow through with it. 

Maybe there is hope for me after all.