So I (24f) and my bf (33m) recently have been really struggling with the relationship, mainly on his part. He explained everything that had been bothering him and for the most part, I agree, my behaviour has been wrong. Part of all of this is that because of the stress he’s said he’s lost his sex drive but he thinks it’ll come back with time. I’m sure a lot of my people with BPD will understand that this is really hard for me, I’ve been putting a lot of effort in but so far it’s only been a week and today I started asking questions again, asking if it was improving, trying to initiate sex etc. understandably it was too soon but for some reason despite knowing that I just keep pushing. And the more I push the worse it gets because he feels pressured, which in turn is pushing him away from me even more. I’m on the NHS waitlist to get therapy but in the mean time I really need to figure out how to stop myself doing this because I completely ruin this relationship and others. I’ve made real efforts on the stuff he said which included him feeling like he couldn’t hang out with friends because I would constantly message him, me trying to get him to quit smoking etc etc… but because of how much I pushed him with questions today, I nearly lost him on the spot, the last thing he wants is stress. Does anyone have any advice for ways to be to deal with the intrusive ‘he doesn’t love me, he’s going to leave right now’ thoughts and the constant need to push him for everything to go back to normal. Whether the thoughts are right or not, they aren’t helping. Any advice from people who have this a bit more under control that me would be great.