I am so unwell. Three months ago I got dumped by the person I loved and I got an STD from them and she left as if there was no problem. The stress of that relationship caused me to fail a nursing quarter . My cousin passed away from Covid. I am gay living in a homophobic household. I left nursing school to pursue a career in music since it was looking promising. But since I left nursing / being dumped I can barely get out of bed. I miss all my friends in nursing school, I miss my ex, I miss my cousin that passed, I miss the family that loved me before I was gay. I don’t see a point in living anymore. I truly don’t. I hate my life and I can barely get out of bed. My body aches all over from the depression to where I can’t play drums or do music. I’m bleeding out of my asshole and praying it’s not cancer. I feel like I got knocked down on the mat and I am tapping out. I have no strength. Has anyone worked their way out of suicidal thoughts? Therapy and gym haven’t been working :( I was about to commit suicide last night. I’m so tired.