Tonight my head is clouded and my heart feels...heavy. The longing is pounding from deep within. I don't understand where this feeling suddenly came from.

Part of me thinks it's my BPD.

That clawing, overwhelming and numb feeling that demands to be felt. But words can never truly give a proper explanation as how it truly feels. Unless you have it, and I assure you, BPD is something I would never wish upon my worst enemy - it's impossible to explain.

Yet, there is a huge part that thinks it's due to me not really knowing who I really am and having no...real connections with people. Sure, I am friendly with so many and do my best to be there for others - but I have always felt...isolated from everyone.

Even myself.

I'm lost. So incredibly lost...