I know a lot of us with bpd tend to pick up others likes and dislikes and it leads to us not knowing who we truly are.

I lost my Fiance very unexpectedly in December and this has forced me for the first time in my life to be truly alone.

At first it was terrifying (as those of us with bpd know) I was lost and devastated.

But, over the last couple of months I've begun forcing myself to be completely alone, if anybody else is struggling with the boredom/lack of self. I may be able to suggest some things that could help.

I have a little notebook to write down MY likes and dislikes. I've started trying out new hobbies and seeing how I feel when I do those things, I scroll through YouTube and listen to all genres of music and jot down what I enjoyed listening to. I watch documentaries and films and see if I'm interested or disinterested etc.

I know a lot of bpd is based on extreme emotions so I concentrate on how these new things make me feel and use those emotions to my advantage.
I've also been trying a lot of meditation, I won't lie, it took some getting into. But, it has started to benefit me in the long run as I can sit with my negative feelings and emotions and sort of unpack it all.

The one thing I do struggle with is sometimes liking the idea of an activity more than doing it. So I have to force myself to do all of these things, and I definitely feel good afterwards.

This could just be me rambling, but I would say forcing myself to do these things has really started to work towards my alone time being nice and relaxed, I even look forward to it now!

I hope this could be helpful to anybody that may be struggling with boredom or not sure where to start with finding themselves. Thanks for reading!