I've realised I have difficulty maintaining relationships with groups of friends. I always end up falling out with one or two in the group and feel overwhelmingly abandoned that I end up not talking to the entire group save for one or two that reach out.

The sweet spot for me seems to be 2-3, meaning either just one on one friendships or with two other friends. Any more and I tend to just struggle with how I'm perceived in the group (thinking that everyone else in the group is close-knit except for me, I'm the outsider, they don't actually want me around etc.)

I also sometimes struggle with the fact that I dont know who I am when out with so many people because I feel the need to cater my personality to each indivdual person and it becomes so confusing/tiring.

Anyone else? I've lost many friends like this... And though I have a few friends I speak to still it's never the same because one on one time all the time sometimes just feels very isolating(?) I long for that dinner table feel where everyone is eating and having fun over dinner or at someone's place but it feels so out of reach.