I am not able to study. I had managed to convince myself that I cannot study. I know for a fact that I am not stupid. I have done well in school for quite some time now even though I have crammed for exams.

I am not able to stick to a study schedule because my self-esteem is too low. I felt this voice in my head (for lack of a better word) telling me that I can't study a few years back. I was doing really well back then and I ignored it. Then the pandemic hit and the lockdowns began. I had developed an addiction to social media that I have tried to break many times. I am doing fairly well on that front. However, my sleep schedule is fucked because of my exams and shit and because I had not studied for them. I keep blaming myself for everything that has gone wrong. I get some exercise but given my fucked up sleep schedule, it only serves as something that makes my more tired. I can’t do this shit anymore. I keep telling myself that I can do nothing but procrastinate till I clactually do. I have very few people to reach our to. The therapist at my college is not of much help either as I have been visiting her for over 3 months and I have seen no changes. I partially broke my addiction to social media on my own. 
My school, however, needs me to use gadgets. Every time I use my computer or a phone, I start scrolling mindlessly again and I end up wasting my time. I could be doing so much better. And yet, I am not able to.
I have very few people to reach out to. I constantly seek validation and I end up feeling disgusted with myself after my charades are finished. I used to be wildly competitive and studious till a year back. I have hit rock bottom since and am now drilling my way to the core. I don't know what I can do. I would have never thought I would have said this. But here I am. 
I am thoroughly defeated and I have nothing to live for.