at this point i have ruined every friendship i’ve had. i have always felt insane every time i was friends with someone. my view of them would change so drastically in short periods of time until i ended up fucking hating them. 

i do not talk to anyone anymore. i feel extremely lonely but also peaceful because i’m not always thinking about someone and overthinking everything they say. i have always felt an immense guilt after acting like an asshole to a friend over something little and i am tired. i am isolating myself.

i wish someone would just beat me up for being the type of person i am. i truly hate myself.