I honestly don't know what to do anymore. This stupid disorder is making everything ten times more complicated. I feel so lonely all the time, I hate that every single day goes by it just seems to be getting harder and harder like I can't even hold on anymore. Everything I need to be happy seems so far away and the more I live like this, the more I just simply can't go on. I'm stuck here alone where I am with zero support system and I don't know what to do anymore. Life seems incredibly empty right now, nothing gives me a spark or makes me feel alive anymore. I'm constantly just wanting to disappear from people and I hate how many issues and disorders having stemmed from my BPD. Even trying to be sober from my addiction is getting incredibly difficult, I just want to start using again because not being sober means I wouldn't have to feel this way anymore, but I made a promise and it's so hard to keep up with it. I'm so lonely most of the time with no one to talk to and I just want to give up on life already.