I recently met this great guy who told me that he has BPD and I've expressed interest in having a relationship with him, but he says that relationships destabilize him and he's hesitant to enter another one right now. I have been trying to learn more about BPD since I met him, but it seems like most relationship advice is to avoid people with BPD altogether. I don't think that is fair. He is a great person and I want to be able to support him. 

He has mentioned that he becomes fixated on his partner and he tends to lose himself completely in his relationships. The person he is now is someone who has his own unique hobbies and interests, but he mentioned that he begins to lose those things when he is dating. He also said that relationships can be hard on his sslf-esteem.

I know that it is ultimately his choice (and I will respect whatever he decides), but is it possible to be in a relationship with a person with BPD without destabilizing him/her? What would be helpful from a romantic partner? Are there ways that I can help manage triggers? Are there things that your romantic partners done in the past that have helped you manage BPD symptoms?

Thanks in advance!