Hello,
I'm new. I lurked. I need help. I'm 30. He's 31.


My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years but we haven't met yet. We are both gamers. We met while gaming. We talked and FaceTime early in our relationship a few times but our relationship has been mostly texting. It's important to say that we talk every day for hours. We never ignore each other. 


I'm a model and I'm very active on social media with a big following. It's important for later. 


He was really open early on with his struggles. I'm bipolar myself. I received electro therapy 10 years ago and while bipolar is never fully cured, I'm fully functional and feel no effect of it. He's borderline, with social anxiety, and extreme shyness as well as chronic depression. He is not seen by any therapist. He doesn't have health insurance. He also lives with his parents still. He was in a relationship 20 years ago and his ex girlfriend turned abusive. He left, moved in with his parents and never left. 


For two years I've tried to meet this man but his social anxiety, depression, and borderline always kick in at the last minute. I was traveling for work to model in a town two hours from him. I invited him to join me. At first he said yes. He was excited and we planned the whole thing. At the last minute he became anxious. Many meetings failed that way. I wasn't open enough about my whereabouts, I wasn't responsive enough. I'd be too busy for him (which wasn't true) It's like his anxiety kicked in and he looked at our plans, only to find every single flaws possible and used them as a reason to stay home. I even tried to include him into my work. He's handsome. He agreed, only to change his mind. 


A situation happened last night. We live three states away. Flying is not an option, I'm terrified of COVID and I take it seriously. He thinks it's just the flu. He asked me to fly to him a few times but I said no for health reasons. He's been very depressed recently. He feels alone. He's been feeling suicidal. For months we waited for COVID to improve. 


Last night he told me I wasn't doing enough and never did anything to improve our relationship. I called his accusations bullshit, as I've tried to meet him before. He said our relationship is only texting and he's sick of it. He was upset because I refused to fly to the town near his and spend time with him. I reminded him that he hasn't asked to FaceTime or even tried to call me in months. He said the only way he gets to see me in on Instagram and he wants more. When I reminded him that he was pushing me away every time I tried to get closer to him, he shut down and started splitting. 


I suggested he request a day off at work and we drive in the middle to spend a weekend together. The drive would be about 7 hours for each of us. He said no. Blamed me for our failing relationship and dismissed every thing I tried to talk to him about in a healthy way. 


It's important to know that I've talked to his parents before and FaceTime with them. I know he's not catfishing me.


He woke up today, extremely depressed and lonely and he won't take the steps we need to be together, even if he says he wants it more than anything. 


What can I do to help this man?