Sorry for the book, I just dont have anyone to share this with and im dying too. Lol. I've never had one before. On a whim when I was feeling really hopeless and sad about life I decided to treat myself and get a reading. I know there are lots of fakes and scams and I had a bit if skepticism going in. I know a lot of it can be generalized to the majority of people, but i do think there are things we cant explain and the way she did the reading felt authentic. She had lots of good reviews online,  and seemed to be legit. I dont have an online presence aside from anonymously on Reddit and she didnt ask any questions. She just dove in and new all these things about who I am as a person without asking anything. 

Right of the bat she asked me if I had a dog. I've been thinking of getting a dog for a companion even before I moved and broke up with my ex. i discussed this as a positive of moving with my therapist last year. She said my angels are adamant that I should get a dog, and told me that even if I didn't get one, one would put one in my life unexpectedly anyways. 

Overall she told me I've been through a lot of shit and pain but it's all guided me to where I am today, and had purpose. Also that I've never really had a choice in what happened in my life. I've always had a feeling deep down that I'm just floating through life with no real choice in anything. I've told my ex this before.

I guess I have always had guides with me through my whole life helping keep me safe, and that doesnt happen to just anyone. I'm vibrating on a higher frequency that attracts craziness and bad people. How throughout my life i was always worried about everyone else and their needs but it was never returned to me. She spoke with my grandpa who had passed (not sure if it was really him) and he wanted to tell me to work on my own garden. Right now I'm like a tomato plant with the small green tomatoes,  but if I keep tending to my own garden and not others the tomatoes will grow into big juicy ones. I teared up a bit at this point because he did have a huge garden that I spent time in with him. 

I also have a spirit guide named Randolph who is a tall butler like man. And hes always been there as my spiritual "butler". Lol. She said to ask him for guidance when I'm feeling stuck.

She asked me if I paint, which I do but haven't for a long ass time. She said to get the biggest canvas I could find and work on it as I'm healing. She said she got goosebumps focusing on the finished peice that I would make. 

She gave me hope for my future. She said I am meant to help kids in some kind of psychological capacity and I'm destined to do something bigger than me. She said I'd meet someone new in the future and that he will love me unlike anything I've ever known before. They will understand me as a person and see me as an equal. She said she had the feeling I'm scared of having kids which I deeply am. She said this new guy will probably change my mind on that because I'll be seen as an equal.

I'm not sure if any if it's real but like I said, theres definitely things we cant explain in this world and she knew things no one would know about me since I'm very private in general. I just really needed this today. I just feel less alone, and like it was a good decision to break up with my ex, cut out toxic family members and take care of me. She told me to keep trusting my gut, and don't doubt myself becuase I'm safe. Basically all the shit you should hear from those who love you, but with BPD we dont get that luxury. I just wanted to share this here with all you lovely people,  because we dont always get the validation we need and I knew you'd understand why this felt good.