I'm not looking for judgment or criticism with respect to my relationship itself. 

I have BPD/ASPD, my bf has ASPD as well - which automatically creates difficulties and challenges. In a lot of ways, we understand each other very well. And out of the two of us, I can say that he is typically a lot more level-headed than I am for the most part, and consistent and stable - this particular trait, that he is so solid is what I like about him because I am not solid at all a lot of the time. He's been very open about his DX, and while he obviously still has his own patterns and thought processes, he's worked very hard since his dad's suicide to at least try to reform the behavior itself and thinking patterns. 

Because I have BPD/ASPD, I don't typically bond - but I did bond with him, and I am extremely attached. I do not feel this way about anyone else, and with him is when my BPD symptoms flare. But the problem is that my BPD and his ASPD are two different languages, and our fights are are very, very intense.  

I find myself realizing more and more, that sometimes a single WORD can feel like a full on attack, like one word or tone even if he's completely neutral, can completely shred or activate abandonment issues or full on anger/rage - and my bpd along with aspd traits (especially the low empathy) can make me explosive and aggressive when I feel betrayed or threatened, controlled, manipulated or abandoned. 

Does anyone else relate to this at all? Especially the part where like a single 'word' can feel like being physically pierced or stabbed?