I don't remember the last time I didn't feel some sort of emptiness looming inside of me. I've been depressed for as long as I remember and the older I get the more I realize that more and more people around me are depressed. Every single family member I have (in my immediate family) is depressed. I have social anxiety but the little friends I do have are depressed. Most of the family members I am close to aside from children are depressed. It's working depression, it's not so outright that it has to be diagnosed but I see the familiar emptiness inside of them that I feel. It's mostly unspoken but it does come out the rare times we have deep conversations.

Do I just attract depressed people?

At this point I wonder if there are people who don't just think of looming death and emptiness and live life to its 'fullest' by enjoying it, not questioning it. I know I've felt it once before too, maybe when I was a kid. But I forgot what it felt like.