I just had to leave a call woth my mom. I basically want to explain to her that I don't think I will ever be able to hold down a steady job, and it gives me a lot of anxiety. I feel this way because I haven't ever been able to effectivley take care of myself or commit to literally anything. To me, finding a way to set up a stable life for myself also means acknowledging my limitations when it comes to employment options. 

She got angry and told me that I was being negative, and it is getting old. I feel like she is sick of me altogether, and on top of that, being told I'm wrong about this feels horrible invalidating. When I tell someone "I cannot do this thing" and they say "but you're smart and capable, of course you can" it makes me SO angry and hurt. She isn't listening to me, and what I can and cannot do. 

I dont feel I am being negative, I just feel like I am being realistic based on what I know to be true about myself. The truth is I am disabled by my bpd, and therefore unable to do some things that people without bpd can do. 

Does anyone else struggle with this? Am I being negative, or am I being realistic? Is there a line between the two? How can you tell If it is negativity versus realistic expectations of yourself? 

Every time I raise my expectations of myself, I end up worse then before and I hate myself for it. When she tells me i am being negative and that I can do everything I put my mind to, she means well, but it simply feels like she isn't listening to me, and doesn't understand how bad it is to live in my brain. 

If there are any slightly older people with bpd on here, as I'm just 21, your insight would be particularly useful here. Have you been able to become financially stable? How have you been able to deal with your bpd in a way that allows you to be employed?