I’ve developed a horrible bout with hypochondria. Especially with stuff centered around the heart. One of my family members had a heart surgery and ever since one night where I had a panic attack bc of worrying about it I can’t stop thinking about it.

Every night I think it’s probably the night i’ll die. If my arm or leg starts cramping up, my mind instantly goes to blood clot and I just start uncontrollably crying and pulling my hair.

And i’ve lost a lot of weight recently which is great but a common effect of that are gallstones and of course I have gallbladder pain twice a week now and I get so worked up over that.

I really think i’m going to die in the next couple of months. I just can’t take much more I have so much stuff bottled up. And i’ll go silent for weeks and when ppl try to reach out I just push them all away and self sabotage everything. I’m so unhappy.