There's this well-known statement/prayer that goes a bit like "God, grant me the strength to change what I cannot accept, and accept what I cannot change". It's cliché, but it's true, especially the latter part. So why is it so hard for me?

My vision is pretty bad at night, and there's not really anything medical science can do about it. But I can drive, I can read, I can see people's faces so what am I complaining about? Lots of people don't see well at night, lots of people have terrible vision all around, way worse than mine, why can I not be happy with what I have?

I'm aging. Literally every single person ages, and while the process is not completely out of your hands if you take care of yourself, nobody looks 20 when they're 30, nobody looks 30 when they're 50, nobody looks 50 when they're 80. It sucks, but it's fine. Life isn't over at 30. Yet I look in the mirror, and I hate what I see. Why can't I accept the most universal experience of all humans, that we grow old?

Why can't I accept that I'll always be an introverted person, and that there's nothing wrong with that. Why can't I accept that I'll never be a good scientist. Why can't I accept that I'm shit at playing chess or piano? Why do I do this to myself?

I have all the ingredients for a good life, for an okay life, I can't complain, yet I don't have the strength to put them together. And every day it just gets a little bit worse.