I'm 24m , i have ADHD and i've been with my GF for almost 3 years, it was only until recently that we both got diagnosed , it explained a lot, she's still in her baby steps to recovery, as i'm writing this it's been 4 hours that i'm crying my eyes out because of the things i heard.

I have been understanding and acknowledging the pain she feels, understanding and accepting the patterns , the scar , the fact that she is without a doubt a victim, trying to be the guy to never leave her side even when she's hurt because of something not related to me and i'm the one on the receiving end.

I don't want to be what she fears the most,the guy that leaves, even though i know during a split that she will challenge me test me push my buttons, that everything she does , she does it subconsciously. I believe that and i feel her pain and want to protect her from it, i really do love her and don't care about how it looks from the outside but at the same time i don't know what to do, i feel powerless, i feel like i'm carrying two disorders.

The pain i'm feeling is immense, all i want is to help, to prevent outburts even though that's inevitable, i do want my feelings to be recognised too, my efforts, my qualities but i know that if i ever go black in her head than i'm just a piece of shit.

Please explain to me guys what i can do, i don't want to be the guy feeling trapped, i want to help her and help myself because i feel like after all of this, i may end up the one dead.