My mom is divorced  and I live with her , we are lower middle class .. I can't focus on studies because of my ADHD and no one gets me and calls it my excuse . My best friend left me for some reason I don't even properly know.... Kids my age are having last year of their fun and chilling out and doing stuff , while no one gets me , I am a good guy but no one tends to like me , recently I visited my dad's place and the house has changed so much .... He did it for his new wife and the marraige is'nt even a year old yet. His house looks like a 5 star hotel room and I lived there for 8 years and nothing like that happened . There is no reason to live right now cause my own parents don't get me and love me and I got no friends to open up to . The only reason I am alive is that I can't find cyanide pills . I feel so trapped because whom do I open up to .... I am not excelling anywhere just a loser everywhere I go ... Kids who are not good at academics are good at sports . I only have a fake life in front of kids I know at school .... This is all happening while I am 14 .... I saw my dad beat my mom at the age of 6... I just wish for peaceful death.... I am not thinking about what will happen with my mom