so i ended up showering. my gf convinced me. i went in the shower with her and i started to get a stomach ache again and when i told her i was starting to get anxious she rubbed my back and it REALLY helped. i got out of the shower for a couple of minutes, took deep breaths, then i told myself i can do it. i got back in the shower and washed my body really fast and only did shampoo. but i’m worried that i didn’t clean myself enough :( usually my showers are around 20 minutes and this one was only 5, so i feel like i didn’t do much. i feel like a failure lol i just feel like i didn’t wash my hair enough.. sorry i’m just venting at this point. but i am proud of myself! it was hard but i did it.