It's been a unique problem that I've been dealing with for a very long time. I'm 19, and every time I find out that a friend has been drunk before I start panicking. Most of the time I get over it and I'm fine but yesterday my girlfriend of a couple years got drunk for the first time and I didn't know until a bit later. It caused what was probably the worst panic attack in my life and I'm having a hard time understanding why. There's no reason she shouldn't be able to do whatever she wants but it just gave me this really intense sinking feeling that she was no longer the same person.

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I have alcoholic genes in my family, but neither of my parents are alcoholics themselves so I don't have any alcohol related childhood trauma. I've always just promised myself to avoid it as to avoid taking the risk. Although now I'm thinking that it might be a good idea if I get drunk just once to figure out what it's like. Maybe I won't be as scared of other people drinking anymore.

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If anyone else has had a similar experience I would greatly appreciate some advice. I barely slept last night and this has been extremely rough for me.