Hey guys, i’m sorry to post this. i’m looking for advice on what to do and how to stop..

A little backstory, I’m 20 (almost 21) female and have been diagnosed with bpd a few months after turning 18. I’ve known my bf since i turned 19 and we’ve been dating for almost a year now.  I’ve never actually dated anyone else besides seeing someone who was extremely abusive towards me, and i’m 100% a virgin.  

Anyways, I can’t ask my bf about his past or know any thing about his past relationships (intimate or dating) because it makes me extremely upset. I don’t know what to call this emotion, is it jealousy? I get physically sick as well, extremely nauseous and sometimes i even throw up and i loose my appetite and my will to do anything. If he says something about someone in his past, it’s all i can think about for the next few days. Sure, i forget about it for a couple hours, or minutes.. but it comes back into my head, and i can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t know if it’s jealously or what.. i also feel like if we have sex it’s not going to be important to him because he’s already had sex with other people, and i haven’t.  Please someone help me. I’ve tried to talk about this with him but he doesn’t help at all really. thank you if you read this