I was diagnosed with Bipolar about 5 years ago. I never took an evaluation, or really discussed it with a doctor. Just said mental illness runs in my family, and I have mood swings. Bam, bipolar label, and medication I'm not even sure is working because I don't even know what its supposed to help with! 

But that's never been right. I don't have cyclical mood swings, instead it's all intense emotions triggered by something/someone. I swing all throughout the day. I have infrequent days of stability, but overall it's just haphazard, and feels like it's part of my *personality * rather than a chemical imbalance. Plus I had a very traumatic childhood which I can definitely connect a lot of my issues to.

I relate so strongly with the DSM criteria for BPD. I read the posts here and feel like I could have written them. I have two friends with borderline, and we understand each other so well. I've done a lot of research and am usually pretty sure that's what's going on.

I've been thinking about bringing it up to my therapist and seeing what she thinks, but I'm so worried she'll think I'm just looking for attention, or think I know better than the doctors. Or that I'm copying my friends, and just trying to prove that I'm mentally ill. Maybe I'm just faking it all. I'm scared she will just be dismissive and reject me(she has never done anything like that before, I have no real evidence to lead me to think that way, but am scared nonetheless).

How do I bring it up? I don't even know where to start. We had plans to discuss some other things, which I was excited for. But now I want to change the plan and talk about this, and I don't want to be annoying or disruptive to what she wants me to do. I almost just don't want to say anything, just in case nothing changes and she just tells me I'm bipolar. But I know that I'm not, and I feel stuck with a label that doesn't describe me. But maybe I'm just exaggerating? I can't even trust myself about this. It's SO nerve wracking.

Any advice? Or just some kind words.