New throw away account so I can fully be my unfiltered self.

I've (35/m) been diagnosed with BPD for about 6 or so months now and depression/ADHD for a few decades.

My issue is whenever I make friends, I just tend to ghost them, not on purpose of course. I lose interest in communicating with them and when I want to try and apologize and explain I can't do it.

I can only make friends with girls as well. For some reason, I feel awkward and uncomfortable around guys. It's nothing consciously sexual and I am in an amazing relationship but my gf doesn't feel comfortable with me having girl friends, which I totally get.

Does anyone else go through this or gone through it and can offer tips? I feel so bad for the people I hurt and I want to stop doing it :/