I don’t feel real. I only remember feeling like this twice in my life. This is the lowest low I’ve ever hit and it hit just when I thought I was getting better. I keep staring at my hands cuz I  just don’t believe I’m in this body. I’m sooo depressed it’s crazy I’m praying to for to just take my soul at this point cuz I can’t handle this feeling. I feel empty like I really miss someone who doesn’t exist. I promised my mom I won’t off myself so I won’t do it but damnn it’s tempting. And I know this feeling doesn’t last forever so why can’t I make it fucking stop. I just want to drop out of uni and live with the crackheads on the street. Time feels slow like I’m constantly high. Maybe I’m just stuck being high forever