Ever since a mix of covid, family friend dying from cancer in December, etc, I've been finding cancer and illness everywhere. I feel crazy, I feel like I'm out of time and I have something hiding and undiagnosed. Just as I was finally getting a little better after getting a psychiatrist, and starting to talk about anxiety, a favourite YouTuber died from cancer, after I and a lot of fans were under the impression that he was doing better. I've been crying for 5 hours now. Anxiety is making my chest tight and once again, any and all pangs and pains in my body, I think are secret tumours. I go on tiktok, and I just find cancer tiktoks. Found a new song from my favorite band and it was dedicated to a person who died from cancer. I just know the upcoming few days, I will be weK and google things and panic from any and all new bodily sensations. I never thought I'd be the person who'd need trigger warnings, but here I am.