Hi there, some of you may recognise me and have seen earlier posts. I was at my general doctor today and I admitted how awful I feel, and that I have been researching ways to end my life. The statistics of each method keep going around in my head between the other thoughts. My situation in terms of housing, employment &amp; my relationship is all up in the air. But, I can't sort any of it because my head and heart is in pieces and I am exhausted and every minute is agonising. Tomorrow, my mum and I are going to my psychiatrist to discuss possible hospitalisation. I look forward to sleep, but I dream of the life I had and I wake crying. I know if I drink any alcohol, I will try to kill myself, despite the risks. I have had an episode of this before, 10 years earlier and "I got through it" as people keep saying, but it is the hardest battle on earth. Especially when you have people in your life who believe you are choosing to act and feel this way. If they felt this, 5 minutes of this, they would perhaps see that nobody would choose it. How do I get through this? 