Hi, I dont know if this is a place for this but I wanted to give it a shot.

Im 18, young and I have a bright future. When I was 11/12, I was abruptly told my mother collapsed and was rushed to the hospital. I was told this the day I was to present what I had worked on at a summer camp, to my parents. Still haven't to this day. After the many tests and such that you go through, we were told she has lung and brain tumors. She had very little time to live. My father used every tool at his disposal, nothing was going to stop him from doing everything he could. During this time he also worked, and he found great success in a field usually hard to find that in, and because of that he managed to grant my family the means to a comfortable life, not much to worry about. He did this to protect my mom, me and my family. We were stripped of our childhood at a time when I should have been in school, playing with friends, and experiencing my youth. I never got that. After her surgeries, and many drugs including what I believe was chemo, she stabilized and eventually it went into recession. This uncertain but thankful peace lasted for another 6 years, but what it did to me at least ruined my life. Rather than do my schoolwork, I slacked off, nothing mattered if I could lose what was important to me in an instance. I never came out of this and by the end of highschool, I didnt really have a path or interests. I started college this year, and despite her being in good health, I decided to try. I spent more time focusing on my work, and got the best grades ive had in years. I made great friends, and loved what I was doing. Come winter break, it started again. This time, she was diagnosed with Leptomeningeal metastases. There is no cure. Nothing you can do but prolong it and try to give them a comfortable life. One of her only wishes is for me to enjoy college, but I cant knowing any day ill get a call that she is in the hospital again, or dead. I would be considered a very fortunate person. I dont have to worry about money, ever. My family is considered very rich, in the eyes of others, and they're not wrong. People see me for what others have accomplished, and consider me disappointing (not my parents to clarify). Everyone assumes my life is great because im rolling in it. They assume my family doesn't deserve it, that im spoiled. Why do I have to be punished like this. Why does the success from genuine hard work, that cost time with my father, have to mean we didn't deserve it. People assume I am happy because I can have anything and everything, to a certain extent. People never ask what I really want, and it cant be bought with money, no matter how many millions you throw at it, I just want my childhood. I just want my mom to be safe. One day when I walk to get my diploma, walk to certify my marriage, get my first job, buy my first house, have kids, I wont be able to share that with the most important person in my life.

Its always about the money, to those who dont have any. When in reality, the money is as worthless as the cotton it is printed on.

So for those who always ask, if money is such a blessing and buys you happiness. No. No amount of money will ever satisfy you, it only generates momentary happiness, the relief of not having to worry about rent, food, things no person should struggle for. However it makes you feel more helpless when you realize money can never beat nature.

I dont want pity. I dont want to be told it'll be ok. But nobody has ever told me none of the other stuff mattered. Because no matter who sees it, ill always have an advantage others dont and that is all that matters when putting me next to someone in a similar situation, with the only difference being the money. The priceless moments the average person gets to experience, that I missed, can never be replaced by money. So the next time you have a normal family meal, get tucked into bed, get to go on vacations with your family. Remember, that is more than money. That is life.

To those who are considering ending things, or hate themselves or their lives. Take a second to think about things. Nobody is perfect, nobody said living was fun. But find the fun between the hard shit. And look at that as a reward for putting up with the rest. When life hits you down, hit back up, and realize you can one day look down at where you used to be, and loving where you are now. We each have a purpose in life, and that purpose isnt to work or to make something, but a purpose to take care of ourselves and cherish the life that we have been given, because a truly perfect life is a life without adventure. In the end I know things will be ok for me. After all the tears are shed, and after the dust settles, ill need to provide for someone else, and that person is me. Nothing is promised in life, so live it like that exactly, and no matter what you have, work so you have more of it.

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