TW - suicide 

Hi all. First time post, long time lurker (27F). 
I just feel incredibly lost. I’ve been luckier than many in that I’ve done DBT and recently started schema therapy. But I just feel like DBT has been more of a band aid than a fix (which has still been enormously helpful to me with things like reducing self harm, managing strong impulses, being in the moment, self soothing etc). But I struggled with the idea of a meaningful life throughout the course. 
After a breakdown and three month hospitalisation last year, I’m back living with my parents, jobless, and recently ended my long term relationship. Maybe one friend I could describe as somewhat close, but I’ve become really cautious with these things because I get so over-the-top with them, so I’m not sure.
Everything is still very “day-by-day”. I sometimes think I must not be describing my life and symptoms well enough to my psych support because I don’t understand why anyone would try to stop me from killing myself now, because I have been trying and working really hard and am still struggling. The only reason I am still here is because it would hugely damage my parents. But I also know I’m hurting them by hanging around at home day after day and not being able to do much more than survive. Also diagnosed with OCPD and MDD.
I am trying really hard to find some hope. My question is, have you managed to develop a “meaningful life”, or a reason to live other than that it would cause pain to others if you didn’t? How? 

Huge thanks and love in advance