This is getting very stressful to handle these days so i just want to see if there's any ways to cope or 'cure'.

Drinking is a big trigger of mine, my boyfriend occasionally drinks with his family and it makes me feel like jumping out a window. Just seeing him laughing and slowly getting more and more drunk it's like someone stabbing me in the chest, but if I'm with him and we're drinking I'm completely fine, this makes me feel like a selfish controlling bitch and i know he would like to be more free and less chained down.

My childhood was filled with a lot of alcohol abuse in the house i was raised in and a lot of parties which is a big contribution to why i have BPD today. So am i being selfish by only wanting him to drink with me or am i completely in my right to feel like this? It's such a confusing trigger i have because its caused so many bumps in my relationship and i just want it to go away or to even understand it better.

Am i just a jealous bitch that doesn't want to see my boyfriend have fun without me or is it a common BPD trigger.