Sorry in advance if this is in the wrong sub - I want to share my experience and hopefully help others who might be similar.

I found this sub after frantically searching my symptoms on the internet and wondering whether BPD was a good fit. Although the symptom profile for BPD felt extremely similar to what I've been experiencing lately, I'm nearly certain I don't have BPD because diagnosis of a major personality disorder requires a long-standing pattern of behavior, and my symptoms are relatively recent.

I woke up the other day and my brain was trying to convince me that my relationship "just wasn't right", that I'd never be a good partner, and I was just hurting him, and I should leave to save us both. Luckily, I called my therapist two days later, frantically blurted out all my fears, and heard the best news of my life: I have Relationship OCD (ROCD).

Historically called the "doubting disease", ROCD is triggered by the distress of uncertainty in relationships (e.g., "Is she the one?", "Why did he break up with me?", "Will he leave me someday?"). Distressing thoughts become obsessions, and compulsive behaviors are carried out in response (e.g., constantly asking partner/others for reassurance, repeatedly calling an ex, testing the relationship but positive outcomes don't bring certainty).

My ROCD has made me constantly question myself, my partner, and my relationship. It convinced me to spend hours thinking in circles about how to "fix" things that never had to be problems in the first place. I wondered if I really loved him in the beginning or if I had just wanted *someone*. These doubts gnawed at me, frequently woke me in panics, and almost destroyed my new marriage.

Now that I'm certain I have ROCD and not BPD, I trust that my doubts are just doubts. The doubts aren't my gut secretly telling me the relationship is doomed, and there's nothing to solve. I can use OCD treatment methods (which I was already receiving) and they'll be successful. I hope that, by posting this, someone else searching this sub might benefit from this same realization.

For more information on ROCD, check out [this post from r/ROCD.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ROCD/comments/feao85/ocd_treatment_really_works_there_is_no_need_to)