I have a lovely family

I have a stable economy

I was studying

I know I'm pretty

I had friends 


And I can't stop feeling miserable. When I was a child girl I was fat and ugly, I fought against my body believing that when I was pretty my bitterness would end.

I thought it was my reason for life, but maybe it was just a trick of mine to divert my attention from everything else.

Now I do it more out of inertia, sometimes diets and the gym are the only things that make me stop thinking. Other times, even though I know I have to look pretty, I can't see myself like that, somehow I feel that looking pretty is just an illusion of mine and everyone else sees me as I did years ago.

A few months good, other months bad. I am fed up and I feel selfish, I know that many people really have things to suffer, many of them even acquaintances of mine.