It's been five years and a couple days now since my first major attempt. I'm not too sure how I feel to be honest. Has life improved? Well not really. Of course after that first attempt, I tried a couple more times. I think if we look at the net value, I'm relatively in the same spot as I was five years ago vibing on the bridge. Thankfully, I'm not too upset about that. I think sadness and my inability to get out of said sadness is something that I will have to live with. I'm getting better at fighting it, that's for sure. Are some days tiring and fucking unbearable? Of course. But now I'm just content with existing. Sad days are hard, some days are easy. 

I think I'm just shocked that I'm still alive. Well I definitely know that younger me would be shocked I'm still kicking around. Maybe he'd be happy that I stayed for this long. 

There really isn't any point to this post, just a bit of selfish self-congratulations and the ability to say: I'm still alive guys. 

I hope everyone has a good day. It's raining where I am but it's really nice to look at.