I have a sorta weird relationship with my family.   Growing up, my nuclear family consisted of 5 people.  Due to unforeseeable young death, there are only 3 of us left.  My dad and I love each other and have been through a lot of tough times together.  We would do anything we can to help the other out.  Visiting him is really difficult sometimes though because he doesn't have a very friendly and open demeanor.   We don't fight, but we have vastly different world views.  I always try to avoid talking about politics but that seems to be the only thing he thinks about.  He's also kinda paranoid of people and it really spikes my anxiety.   Anyway he just got home from having open heart surgery to correct something that was likely caused by childhood illness.  It's not going to be a fun visit.  He needs his family so I'm going to buck up and go, but I really don't know how to keep calm during that time.  I don't want to get him worked up, and I don't want to feel panic every time I see him.  He's a good person, and I know it means a lot when I come to see him.  I've talked to him about avoiding certain conversation topics, but certain things have a tendency to come up in conversation.   I don't know how to relax there.  It's been like that my whole life.  My childhood home is a super anxious place for me.  It's where my mom and sister died.  It's where so many fights have taken place, and so many other things.  I try to focus on good memories, but my brain isn't good at that.  What do I do?  Any advice or kind words of sympathy would be awesome.   I'm tired of people telling me to quit being a baby.