Hello everyone , I struggle with depression and anxiety. Just wanted to talk to people who are feeling the same . I feel stuck living because i’m scared to leave and hurt my family by committing suicide . but i want to leave so bad , i know this is very personal but i feel very alone. I try and talk to people but no one seems to get it and i’m at the point where i just don’t even want to talk anymore. i feel lost and have tried getting a hobby or my safe plan but nothing seems to work . and i know what you’re gonna say , it doesn’t work if you don’t try . but i’ve tried my whole life . therapy,medicine,mental hospital. i’m not looking for attention or sympathy. I know this world is beautiful and there’s so much to see . i’m so conflicted with living my life but it’s hard . life is hard . i have a lot of family issues and feel i have no family . i just want to self destruct and leave . I don’t understand why i think the way i think and don’t know how to put it in words to be able to get the help i need . i feel hopeless and empty . i feel i don’t know who i am , but i know who i am . living in this world is hard, knowing the people i love are going to die and so am i . i feel like what’s the point . and i know there’s a point and it’s to live and cherish the good moments and make the best out of everything . and i try but i think i just fake it. i don’t genuinely feel happy after i try to brush something off that shouldn’t be bothering me as much as it does . but it does and i don’t know what to do about it . i used to be scared to leave this world and think about what would happen after , but now i feel i’m not scared anymore . i feel like i’m not even living for myself just for the people i love . why is it so hard for me to be happy genuinely happy . why can’t i feel love that people show me . i have trust issues and ptsd , from my childhood . and it’s never seemed to get better not matter how hard i try and even fake it . maybe i’m just the problem and i feel that i am . i don’t know , does anyone else feel like this ?