I 16(F) have been diagnosed with ADHD since I was young. My doctor encouraged my mother to put me on medication to which she promptly refused to and denied that I had it. My mother would never listen and would always call me lazy when ever I found something genuinely hard to do, such as homework. Around the age of 11 is when i first started to have constant thought of suicide and overwhelming thoughts of death. One day, I had a breakdown in the car over all the stress school was putting on me and started to sob and hyperventilate, she then proceeded to yell at me and tell me what I had told her were lies and that I was just making up excuses.  Even now did I only just start ADHD medication that my doctor gave me after talking with my father. I still have constant thoughts of harming myself and death and it’s become so overwhelming. Ive gone almost numb emotionally in a way, I’m always irritated by the littlest things and have snapped at people around me for no reason. I don’t want to go on like this for the rest of my life, what should I do?