I lied alot to my ex and attempted to overdose alot on her and she said I was abusive gaslighting her manipulating her I feel like a terrible person she texts me still to say she wish I was dead and that I don't deserve respect or love and that I should just die alone in a shitty apartment and I still don't see anything wrong with her hurting me cuz I'm a terrible person who deserves nothing  and I should just die.