I experience a kind of boredom I think. When I’m alone for a long time with nothing to do, I just feel this deep gnawing sense of panic. Kind of like I am extremely late to some very very important event, but no matter what I can’t remember what I’m supposed to be doing, or convince myself to do anything but panic and over think trauma and relationships.

So instead of just being bored and learning something new to stave it off like I’ve seen a lot of my friends do, I just dissociate completely and end up doing nothing. So I have no hobbies, no passion, nothing. I feel like a hollow person because I’m always just in survival mode. I can never rest and discover what it’s like to be bored.