i’ve been struggling with a lot of issues, and i think the root is bpd. i was adopted (or rather, stolen), when i was 3, and i grew up with narcissistic parents in an abusive situation. excluding asd, the things i’ve done research into that fit my situation are this-
•bpd
•bipolar type 2
•rad
•purely obsessive ocd
•anxiety (mainly social, but also surrounding anything i don’t know everything about?)
•complex ptsd 
•anorexia, coupled with other eating disorders that i went through in phases
•a substance abuse disorder maybe?
•i also struggled with self-harm pretty intensely, and couldn’t knock it at all for years. i’m now about 5-6 months clean though!!

i’m sure there’s more that are slipping
my mind, and i know y’all’s responses are gonna be “go get help go get help”, but i cant. 1) i don’t have the money (or insurance atm) and 2) i do not want to be discriminated against for the rest of my life. 

so if there’s any at home books that y’all recommend, or some advice you could give me, i would really appreciate it!!