Small town gov funded health clinic that has its own mental health wing, is between or just got a new receptionist, aaand after one recommended (1) couples counseling episode, my first therapist (Sara) referred me to a trauma counselor more fitted to my needs. My fp clicked with her so it'd be conflict of interest for her to see us both anyways.

About a month and a half ago i went to my initial appointment with Molly (new lady), who tells me that someone was supposed to call and reschedule that days appointment, but im already here so she decides to at least meet me before turning me away. We go through the whos and whats, set a date for a 2 hour long Diagnostic Assessment, a month or so from then. Cool.

Day of, I'm otw with a borrowed car, clinic calls and Molly's had an emergency and won't be in today. She can see you in another month or so. Might as well swerve into the next loaded beet truck coming towards me.

Realistically something prevented her from making it to work where its just her job, but poor attention seeking me has been extra pathetic all week. I've caused tension to where my fp is talking on eggshells, afraid I'm going to split when he uses the wrong tone or even slightly blames me for  something. 

I've barricaded myself in the blankets, waiting for my fp to come validate and accept me with a hug, but when he takes too long i resent him, then i get touch repulsed and its become such a habit that the slippery slope gets steeper everytime.

Do i tell her about my adverse reactions? Let her know that she's on my shit list rn and i want her to feel the guilt of hurting me.

Is that too much for me to dump on her or is that important for her to know that i project for even the smallest amount of attention?
