everyday i feel almost trapped in my body.. i wish i could go back to how i felt before i had my first panic attack leading to derealization.. the best way to describe it is like i am in mental jail. my anxiety is always causing me physical and mental discomfort and i’m terrified of existing and i really don’t enjoy any aspect of life. i could go to the most peaceful place on earth and still feel discomfort. everyday i am reminded of the fact i will die one day and i wake up with all these physical anxiety symptoms thinking omg im going to die today. my friends tell me to just put myself into a “idgaf” mindset but it’s hard not to “gaf” i’m terrified of taking meds for this because of side effects and shit and i feel completely crippled by all of these thoughts and feelings.. i want to live again