Anxiety has taken control of my life. I cannot escape it, I cannot diminish it, and I certainly cannot hide from it. Everything gives me soul-crushing anxiety, especially work. 

I just don’t know what to do anymore. It’s similar to the anxiety I felt before I was admitted for the first time ten years ago but also very different. I take my meds but it’s no use. I can’t use actual anti-anxiety meds (benzos) because my wife says I act different and she doesn’t like it. 

I don’t know what else to do or try. I’m being suffocated.