Hey guys, I need some input here. I have BPD and ADHD, and recently, I’ve been finding that an effective tool is to take a moment to write things down like a script. for example apologies, asking for needs to be met, communicating grief/upset/hurt.

I guess it follows the principle of the DEARMAN skill, as well as using the STOP, maybe Check the facts, and other combination of skills from DBT and It’s mostly really been helping me. What I’ve found that I’m struggling with is learning the scripts off by heart and verbalising it to people, and I think I end up mixing up points, disrupting the flow, missing out on things and overall not being as concise as I want to be, which leads to frustration within myself. I’m wondering or rather suspecting that this is the adhd part of me and struggling to focus/stay on track properly. So I’ve been having a lot of these conversations via text and letting people read what I’ve written down in my notes vs in person. 

My ex partner/fp, who I still maintain a relationship with, that I’m hoping to repair, Said last night that I need to be saying these things to him vs letting him read my ‘scripts’ or texting him. And I noticed myself immediately getting defensive because him saying that made me feel like a spoken script is more authentic than a written one, when it’s the same thing in my opinion. A spoken one is that much harder for me to execute properly (which doesn’t mean I’m not learning or trying to) and I feel like my vulnerability is taken for granted in some way. I understand he can’t rationalise how my mind works and how I would struggle, because it’s an easy thing for him and I am going to take the time aside this evening to ‘script and learn’ a calm explanation for this. But I’m wondering if anyone who struggles with communication and scrips like me, has any tips or hacks to better learn them and to make them seem more authentic.