I dont know where I am going with this. I just made a whole reddit account to type this out. This isn't even a cry for help I kind of just want someone to listen for once in my life. In my 17 years of life on earth I have been alone. I have never ever had a friend. Not one. Don't even get me started on girls. My literal first and only fucking girlfriend cheated on me our whole year relationship and somehow in the end I was still the one begging and pleading for her to not leave me. I have been alone for so fucking long that it made me beg a cheating bitch to stay with me, something I promised myself I would never do. Like what the fuck. I am an ugly, stupid, delusional waste of space. Everyone has made sure to remind me of it my whole life. I wont get into all the details but my life just sucks as you can tell from the info given above. I call myself delusional because even after all these years of being alone I was optimistic. Maybe going into 8th grade will help and I'll make new friends! Oh, I just spent a whole year of my life alone again. Hm, no big deal, high school will surely bring in new people that I can relate to and hang out with!!! Damn, I am already a fourth through junior year and still haven't made a single friend. And despite giving up on everything and just accepting that I am cursed or some shit, some stupid part of me deep down still believes maybe college will do the trick. Oh but wait, my depression has made my grades look like fucking shit. I dont even know if I will be able to go to an actual decent college. Also that one sport (and thing in general) that you were good at? You are fucking shit now because you have spent your last few years in your fucking bed crying about how fucking alone you are. I am so thankful for my family and everything but damn dude I cannot take this shit anymore. Again, please just read this. It's okay if you dont know what to say, I just wanted someone to know about how I felt before I potentially did something stupid. 

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Sincerely, Chris