I'm old, I spent the first 10 years of my adult life being abused by a shit partner and the second 10 being alone. Even if I were in any way attractive, I wouldn't be able to be loved because it makes my brain freak out and want to kill me. I'm really not looking forward to the next 10. My parents were selfish to have me and cruel to cripple me; a life without love seems unfair but actually I am insignificant and my needs mean nothing so I should shut up and get back to work, having somehow gotten myself into a position of responsibility for doing something helpful for people, which I am in no way adequate for but here we are.

Hope you're having a better weekend. Thank god for this sub because otherwise thoughts like this would make me explode.