I can't do ANYTHING I have no skills at all, and those that I do have, are useless.

I'm trying to learn to become a artist, a animator or a writer. But I have no school or lessons for either of these because theres barely any of these in my country. I also don't have any professional supplies for either, I don't even have anything to color with if I draw in real life, not a art tablet, not a paid art app, nothing. I've been doing art/writing for like 3 years and I see barely any improvement.

I want to write a book or a show, but I know there's hundreds of thousands of people like me who learn faster, draw and write better than me, have more encouragement than me, have better supplies than me, and are more persistant than me. I'm literally nobody, and don't tell me not to compare myself to other because it's true-no multi-million company will want some horrible writer like me to write them a show, I can't even write for longer than 15 minutes without getting exhausted.



And about other skills? Nope, I have NONE.

I read books/anything very slowly. 

I forgot 80% of the things I ever learned in school over the pandemic and now I can't learn anything new because I don't remember the basics
. 
I'm not athletic at all, and I'm lazy.

I can't craft or sculpt things, I have no tools or experience for that

I want to work with animals, but when i am near animals I'm terrified of them being dirty or having insects on them. To be honest I'm even scared of touching grass because I don't want a ant to crawl on me. 

I have no encouragement to learn anything whatsoever, I have quite literally no friends, neither real life or internet, and I'm not "popular" on any social media or community either. Nobody gives a single crap about me, I'm ignored when I want to talk about something, I'm ignored when I show my crappy art that I drew, I'm ignored when I ask for people to read something I wrote and rate it, I'm ALWAYS ignored. And oh, this post will ALSO be ignored or ill get like 10 useless upvotes but 0 comments, Like I want to actually know someone read my post and didn't just scroll by and upvote for no good reason then leave.


And also besides being a completly useless person who will never get a job (I'm underage, Fortunately.) I also have nothing to do that entertains me, I draw and write not because I find it fun but because I want to make something important.

I *used* to play some games on pc, but now when I think of playing any game I just start over thinking about how pointless it is and about how I'm bad at the game either way.

To be honest the only thing I enjoy in life is binge watching animated shows, but I've basically "ran out" of shows I like watching at this point, And to add to that my two facourites are over very soon. The worst thing is that I'm picky as hell and judge things by their cover even though I'm aware that I'm not right and that they could and are better than they seem first so it's incredibly hard for me to get myself to watch something new.


I don't know what to do, Im so bored and hopeless right now, nothing entertains me at this point but I still try to find something to do because I'm so utterly bored. I want to start doing something useful but I have 0 encouragement and instead of it being useful I think of it as being absolutely f*cking pointless and boring.


Thanks for reading this long as hell useless vent. Please don't just say "Well then stop being lazy lol" or "You gotta focus on 1 thing" it's not gonna help.  Sorry for wasting your time I just didn't have anywhere else to vent about this.