I hid in the office restroom (probably five times or more)--crying--because I felt I have been ganged up on by my co-workers. I felt really bad about myself. But it happens all the time (even in my past job) and that's what frustrates me so much. Just one time that I feel excluded from a certain group and I feel like the most hated person in the planet. And worse, I radiate so much hate to my environment just to show them that I'm angry--but I hate confrontations too much that I couldn't bring myself to discuss these feelings with them.

I felt that I deserved it, considering the number of times I ruined my own friendships. I belong to different small cliques that I separately hang out with. I'd hate it when I get to hang out with close friends from these cliques at the same time..somehow makes me feel awkward that they'll be talking to each other and leave me out. Also, when I sense that I'm losing a friend to someone else, I somehow use one incident against them and make them feel guilty and I will give them the cold shoulder aka leave-them-before-they-leave-me.

TL;DR venting about possible workplace bullying but I felt that I deserved it because I'm a horrible person