Today I'm going up to the pharmacy and just going to buy whatever I find, most preferably benadryl and maybe some cough syrup and pain killers. A variety of what ever I find, cannot do this anymore. Been think about it for a couple years. Tired of being alone, tired of trying so hard for companionship and in the end getting nothing, but everywhere I go be it work or just out in public see everyone have someone and me nothing. So today, on my day off after a long hellish week at work, that I'm just going to fucking do it, I have no reason to stay, and still at 21 I have nothing, no license,  no car, still live with parents while working a full 40 hrs a week maybe more, and just overall no life. This is suffering I can no longer endure and I think its time to make my exit.