I just need to talk. Like I don’t know. I feel like shit constantly and my only solution has been getting high. It’s the only reason I live I hate being sober because when I’m sober I hate being alive I just hate everything I don’t see the point in anything I’m so fucked. I don’t matter and feel so god damn worthless I just want to fucking die every day. Like I feel like my own family doesn’t even care that I am here. And I want to talk to a friend or even someone in my family but I don’t know how. I just don’t want to be treated differently. I know as soon as I tell people how I feel they are all going to act different around me and it’s going to be so fucking awful . I don’t want to be a problem to anyone like I do t want them to worry but at the same time like I just want someone to show. Me they care. Like I haven’t heard anyone tell me sincerely “I enjoy having you around” or “I care about you” it’s just so sad that I have all these people I call my best friends and I’m just a person in the background of their lives. Ig it’s just meant to be I’ll just be lonely asf getting stoned and numbing this pain. Thanks for reading sorry for the rambling and errors