I feel like every time I try my hardest to ensure I have the life I want, it doesn't work. I've even moved abroad to teach internationally because I wanted so badly the opportunity to make progress for my career and improve myself by learning a new language. 

I have spent €200 a month on therapy and I know I've just started it, but I feel like I will never be able to make progress.

I feel completely trapped. I'm doing all the right things. I'm eating, yoga, taking my meds, trying to be good at my job, talking to friends. 

But I just don't feel like it's working or anything is good enough. I'm really tired and I feel completely unfixable. Sorry for the rant I just feel so low, alone and sad.