It's just a constant struggle to escape from how terrible I feel.

I hate where I am, I hate my job, I hate my family, and besides that I'm alone anyway.

I never feel good, just different variations of "bad" .

I want to die already, I need to, I'm such a dumbass I can't even feel tye desire to do it myself even though I wish for it every day....

I'm going to kill myself probably within a year, it's the only real option for Freedom