i relapsed after almost one year of being clean and i really fucking hate my self for it. logically the best thing to do is to talk to my therapist about it. but i am so scared. i havent seen her in a few weeks due to holidays and in our last session she was so proud of me cause i was doing ok. i just dont want to let her down like i let down everybody cause i am fucking useless. i know this is so dumb and weird but i really need some advice