So me and someone else I know (can't count as real friend) we both started programming seriously last year, I met that person in free programming bootcamp and we were both struggling to get a job back then after graduating from university. our knowledge in programming were kind of the same. we both learned a lot from that bootcamp which helped us later to get our first job.  


Later after working in our first jobs for like 2 months, we both got recommended for another better job. I was kind of ok with my current job even though I wasn't learning much from it but I took the new job interview just because I was thinking I might regret it not taking this interview. I went for the interview and failed in it because I don't have much knowledge and I was thinking of my current job because I don't want to leave it yet.  


So after like 2 months and a half I wasn't learning anything new from my current job because we are using old kind of technologies and I wanted to get new job now because I felt I have wasted like 4-5 months of my life, at the same time  I saw that person  on social media that he got accepted to the same job I have failed to get and he still has his old job as part time, I talked with him because i wanted to know what kind of technologies they use at that job and to my surprise they use technologies i really enjoy to use and not boring or old ones. At that time I felt jealous and depressed because I feel he is way better than me now and he is probably learning more now because he is at such a good company and I have wasted so much of my time and I can't reach his level anymore.  


Now I want to learn new technologies at my spare time so I can get better job but seeing everyone is getting better jobs on LinkedIn and acing everything makes me depressed that I can't reach there level anymore even how much I try to learn because I'm really slow at learning and I procrastinate a lot. I do want these people to achieve these goals and I'm happy for them but I also want to be good, learn new stuff, get money to help my parents and not fail again. but its just hard thinking about all the 5 months I have wasted and missed opportunity to get new good job.