I'm sorry if this is something everyone's heard before (and I know it is).  I'm a 21F who's learning to drive.  I've had my learner's permit for a while now (getting that was a whole other terrifying experience, with the test anxiety) but the actual *driving* part of it all still scares me.  I always go mentally blank and forget all the rules and signs right when I need to remember them, so I worry that when I get into a situation where I really, really need to know them, I'll freeze up (which I've done before, during tests and questions; I haven't driven anywhere busy enough to have to make split-second decisions).  I know this will improve with practice, and honestly that everything in this post will, but it's the *making* myself practice part I'm struggling with. 

The constant vigilance freaks me out, too; there's too much to look at, so I feel like I don't see any of it.  It's like I'm in a fishbowl, and I can't focus on anything.  I've had episodes of derealization in the past, and this sort of feels like a milder form of that.  If I look one way and it's clear, I automatically assume that I just missed something.  I'm always worried I've forgotten some rule or traffic law or whatnot, so whenever I succeed or accomplish something I feel like it's only dumb luck that kept me from not having an incident or screwing up. 

At this point I'm more afraid of doing something wrong than actually dying, even though I know that doing something wrong could logically lead to dying, or at least injuring myself or someone else.  I feel like a burden because my family always has to shuffle their schedules whenever I need to go somewhere, and I want to stop that from being the case.  I know that I can do this, theoretically.  I got my learner's permit, after all.  But I can't kick myself out of the headspace that I'm eventually *not* going to be as bad at this as I am now, and that perfectionist trap always sets me up to freak out and fail whenever I practice.  I guess this is half to ask for advice and half to vent.  I've always been a Reddit lurker but this has been weighing on me so long, I had to let it out someplace, and I'm too embarrassed to mention it face-to-face, as everybody in my life can drive already and I feel like a moron (plus I'm incredibly shy and bad at talking to people).  Thanks in advance to anyone who replies.