It used to be at least a bit better, like I had things I liked to do. I liked listening to music, hell listening to music got me trough my days before when it was in the early stages, until one day I just woke up and I didn't like it anymore, just like everything else. In my opinion intrusive thoughts are one of if not the worst parts of depression, thinking is torture, they plant these fucking fears In my brain that just won't leave me alone like for example: Recently I'm scared to use headphones because I read they damage your hearing, a while ago I started fearing working out because I thought I'd get chronic pain or something stupid, I haven't stopped working out but it just put me off I don't view it as I used to, just like every one of my hobbies. I used to enjoy so many things, man I was into anime, movies, games, yu gi oh, board games, swords, fishing, hunting, reading books and manga, collecting stuff. Now it's just nothing, it's just so many things have been ruined for me that even if I ever start feeling better I won't ever enjoy the things I loved. And that's fucked because because I enjoyed enjoying them if that makes any sense? I've had anhedonia for quite a while so I've not been excited about stuff. I just wish I would wake up one day and everything would be back to normal. But that will never happen, because this is reality. Misery comes easy and happiness can be taken from you at anytime.