I'm 26 years old. Every relationship I've had, the reason for me ending it essentially always boils down to the same root issue: That I can't handle them having friends of the same gender as me (I'm heterosexual) who I perceive to be "better" than me (which is usually if they're more attractive than me). In my mind, they're only with me because those friends are out of their league, and I'm always convinced that if those friends were interested in them, they'd be dating those friends instead of me. I feel like everyone I date is settling by being with me.

It doesn't matter how high my own self-esteem is, because I know that obviously my partner finds other people attractive, but that just doesn't sit right with me. I'll obsess about it until it eats me up. Mindfulness helps in those moments of splitting, but the thoughts always return within a couple days. And after awhile, those thoughts end up negating any of the positive things about the relationship. It's like the effort to keep those thoughts pushed down isn't worth the outcome. It almost feels like I'm upset that my partner doesn't think as highly of me as I do myself, even though realistically I know that's impossible.

So, if it's impossible for someone to have the opinion of me that I seem to need, and if it's impossible for me to accept that fact... maybe I'm just not cut out for relationships. It's not fair to me or the other person. But I hate being alone, and casual relationships don't feel fulfilling anymore. 

Can anyone relate? How do you deal with it?