I (17f) have suffered from anxiety for my whole life, but in the past 2-3 years it’s really began to affect me severely and daily, and I don’t know what to do anymore. 

I panic that everyone hates me. My friends don’t really know the extent of it. I’ve been told multiple times to ‘wise up.’ They cause a lot of my anxiety by constantly starting arguments and making me wonder what I do wrong to make everyone constantly annoyed at me. All I try to ever do is make everyone happy but it’s still not enough. 

I have a lot of health conditions that really stress me out. My mum is disabled and that’s a lot to handle. She’s constantly in pain and it breaks my heart but I also selfishly worry that that will be my future too and it’s terrifying. 

I don’t know what I bring to the world. I don’t know why I’m here. There are plenty of people just like me but better. The only thing I have going for me is academics but so far this year I’ve been finding it so hard. 

I’ve tried therapy. She was nice but very spiritual so it didn’t work out. I was also too anxious to lead the session so we would end up chatting about something completely irrelevant anyway. All she did was scare me saying she was so worried about me and how I’m destined to end up in abusive relationships. That definitely made me feel good. 😐

It’s embarrassing how panicked I get at this point. I’ve only just touched on it. I can’t control it. I could be in public and just break down. I can’t fall asleep, I can’t do anything without feeling guilty that I’m not being ‘productive enough.’ And lately I just feel such an emptiness and it’s panicking me too. I don’t know what to do anymore.