I've been blessed with plain bad luck my entire life. Being average kinda ruined me.
  
Whatever I try, things go completely in the opposite direction. If I try to outsmart things, that's when I get hurt more.
  
My mind is in a completely different mess, I only see negative things in life. Fomo has made things worse. 
  
Today i thought of ending all of this and on my way to my building's terrace, I fell from the stairs. Got stitches in the head, fractured the right hand and the pain is enormous. Whole body, mind and soul is aching.