What is keeping me sane is working. Obviously working too much is not working too and anyway my workplace do not want employees to work 6 days a week. Before I start taking anti depressant, I would spend my days off crying, self hating, having flash of suicide, get angry at ppl on the phone, etc. RN, my days off are just useless, no negative emotion but i’m now doing anything. Going from my bed to the kitchen to eat, going in the living room and stare at social media, surf online, go back in the kitchen. I’d like to be productive. Cook and clean. But no if i do it, i’ll start late in the afternoon or evening because i don’t want to be starving myself at work.

How to i get to start my days off? The fact that i have to be at work on time gives me the kick in the ass to prepare myself but when i’m off, there is no reason strong enough to be active.