Someone please tell me I'm not crazy and you do this also...or just tell me I'm crazy, that's fine too. 😉

To avoid abandonment (or perceived abandonment) I have a habit of compulsively giving away things to friends and family. Every time I go shopping I see something and think "so and so would love that" and also subconsciously "then they would like me more, think I'm a good person, never want to leave".  

This had been going on since childhood, but got worse through the years (for example, when I was about 10 I was so worried my cousin was annoyed with me so I gave her my new jeans). You can imagine how bad it gets around holidays and birthdays. I now have to actively find ways to work through the impulse to give gifts, deep breathing, distractions etc. It might sound crazy but this habit has been even more destructive than my exercise addiction, eating disorder, or self harm. I hate how I don't know how to relate to others without trying to win their affection, I hate that when people think I'm being generous I'm actually manipulating them.