my FP is my ex boyfriend. we only dated for around two months but i believed we would be together for the rest of our lives. i loved him and i thought he loved me too but now i'm beginning to doubt that.

however, our relationship was a bit.... chaotic. we both had our issues. he required a lot of reassurance and i would find myself hating him for no reason, making it difficult to provide him with that.

whenever we argued, i would cut myself, hit myself or make myself throw up in front of him until he was begging me to stop, promising that he would stay if i calmed down.

there was an instance where i threatened to ruin his life and when he tried to leave the house, i blocked the door and continued to berate him until he was crying and hitting his head against the floor.

after he discovered that i had been cheating on him, i decided to leave without explanation. i was embarrassed and angry and felt as though i no longer loved him.

i recently contacted him out of curiosity and boredom. he told me that he still loves me but our relationship can only be platonic which upset me.

he began to see a therapist who advised him to wait until i receive "intense psychiatric care" before pursing any sort of relationship with me, romantic or not.

since informing me of this, he has not answered any of my calls or texts. it's been three days and i've called + texted him over 100 times, even finding out his parents information and calling them to ask how he is.

i feel so betrayed and abandoned. i don't want help, i don't need help. i don't understand why he's doing this to me.......