**Hi I just need a place to rant like crazy (I can't do it anywhere else) so feel free to ignore this** 

&amp;#x200B;

**Context:** 

\- I stay in Singapore which practices forced conscription for men of age 18 for 2 years. It's called national service (NS)

\- I have eczema that's seriously interfering with my life (I couldn't sleep properly for the past 3 days because I kept waking up due to itchiness). My neck also gets crazy itchy within minutes of sun exposure. 

\- I am about to be forcefully conscripted within the next few months 

**Problem:** 

\- I have been getting serious anxiety attacks because of NS for the past 9 months...

\- I went to a polyclinic secretly without my parents knowing to seek help, and they told me to share my pre-enlistment anxiety with my parents. But I know that they will scream at me, especially my mother who thinks that declaring anxiety attacks will ruin my future 

**Rant:** 

\- **I just want to rant about what a miserable situation I am in, and posting this will make me feel better as I have no one to rant this to. I just want some strangers to know that I FACE THIS EVERY SINGLE DAMN DAMN DAY LIKE WHAT'S WITH SINGAPORE AND NATIONAL SLAVERY???** 

**- Again, you don't have to do anything, as mentioned, I just want a place to rant and here it goes...**

\-  Let's see, I wake up and the first thing I think about is NS - in a few months' time, I will be stripped off my freedom and my eczema will go crazy. 

\- To cope with my fear and ANXIETY, I read r/NationalServiceSG every day. It's the first thing I need every day to calm my mind just preoccupied with NS. 

\- r/NationalServiceSG is like drug for me. I find myself wasting about 2 hours on it every day, and even if there are no new posts, I find myself scrolling down and reading as many past posts as possible 

\- I post a lot of critical comments about NS in r/NationalServiceSG . The people there like what I post and they affirm me. They understand me. 

\- Whenever I get free time / nothing to do such as standing on a train, ALL I think about is NS, worrying about it 

\- I see national servicemen on public transport. I get depressed.

\- I see girls dressing up and going to nice restaurants. I get angry. They don't get conscripted. I don't need to go out dressed nicely. I just want my safety prioritised. The army won't care about my eczema as it's not serious enough for them. 

\- I'm shedding bits of tears and hyperventilating as I'm writing this

\- This is a relatively recent thought that came up to me 2 weeks ago. If I meet a really terrible person who bullies me, I will shoot that person with the SAR-21 (gun) during live firing. I will shoot everyone to raise advocacy about NS in Singapore. I will go out to the streets and shoot civilians and finally, myself. If I must die, I won't let my death be wasted by educating Singapore what terrible things NS can do to someone. 

\- Now that I think of it, whenever I'm not studying, I'm thinking about NS. I don't think about anything else.