I've had anxiety since I was a toddler, so there hasn't been a "reason" for it most of the time but of course life contributes to anxiety. I feel like a piece of my anxiety melted off today when I had a realization. 


I just set up my patio and sat outside next to huge flowering bushes, reading a novel, and my husband came out and handed me an apricot, smiled and sat down. Birds were chirping. My life is stunning! Alhamdulillah/praise God. My life was horrific for many years and the past few years have just gotten better and better. Sometimes I am jolted with how beautiful my life is. Big picture and little moments... 
But something has been nagging me, not just my usual anxiety but some deeper intense anxiety just nagging at me &amp; sometimes souring the intense gratitude I feel in those beautiful moments. 


I finally realized what it was! For some reason, I felt like since no one else appreciates my life, there is something wrong with me/my life. I'll try to explain.


My circle is extremely small. I have 11 contacts in my cell, 16 friends on Facebook, and no other social media. I don't have any friends at all and sparse family connections. A few strong bonds, but mostly I don't talk to anyone. My parents were abusive and I went into foster care, then became Muslim and most of my decent family rejected me. I only talk to my husband and my sister daily, my other sisters and sister in law weekly, and everyone else monthly or less or never. 
I don't have an online following.
I barely take photos. 
My beautiful, peaceful, happy life is really just in the moment with my husband. I love it, I feel safe, and I have no desire to post all about it online or reconnect with people, but I guess subconsciously it was causing anxiety that I don't have any confirmation that my life is good. 
When I came inside from the patio I just realized this and instantly felt relief!
Also, even as someone who doesn't use social media, I would find myself wondering what others would think while choosing clothing or furniture. It's so bizarre but even before social media, people did things based on what others think. 
I am so deeply grateful for my life and how much it has transformed a lovely dream from literally a nightmare. I truly don't care what people thing because I know that I'm happy and blessed. Idk why I had that anxiety but I did.

Now that I've consciously believed no one else needs to see or approve of my life, I believe it will sink into my subconscious and relieve a lot of anxiety!

What are some things you've realized that were causing you anxiety?????