My standard reply, most days a blatant lie. It's all I can muster often a mutter..."I'm ok" "same shit different day"... wholeheartedly unconvincing, spoken through clenched teeth, often flinching... perpetually chasing fleeting feelings of happiness, idealized memories of moments past, a period in time when I felt like more than discarded trash... sleep is my only respite I know I'm not alright, but I'll keep telling them i am.  It breaks me when my daughter asks "daddy are you ok" she sees the hurt i reply im just tired today" ... but I'm tired everyday and not in a way that an eternity of sleep will rectify. Its not her fault I am the way I am... The people in my life deserve a better version of myself than what I can provide