So this hasn’t happened recently because I don’t really talk about my depression to anyone I know anymore, because they are all just so tired of hearing it and it makes me a downer or brings them down or some shit. So I just don’t talk about it anymore.

But during the first few years of being depressed, there were rare times when I would open up and let myself be more vulnerable to people who were at least close to me. Such as family, close friends, etc.

One of the most annoying and irritating things that I’ve ever encountered is the fact that it seems like almost every single person I would tell about my problems would try to say that they have been depressed before too and how hard it was. Not that they ARE CURRENTLY depressed, but that they have been in the past. Dude, that’s just called being sad… of course everyone is sad sometimes. That’s completely fucking normal. But out of all of these people, I have NEVER recognized symptoms of depression in them, only occasional situational sadness that was very reasonable in the context of immediate events in their lives.

I just feel like when people who are actually not depressed at all claim to have been depressed before, it COMPLETELY invalidates my struggle, my feelings and my diagnosis. Like dude, please don’t pretend that you understand what I’m going through. No, you weren’t fucking depressed. Can’t I at least have this one thing? Just this one time, without you all claiming to have been through the exact same thing? Idk what it is, if it’s an attempt to make me feel better that they have been sad and feel better now, or what their intentions are. 

But the thing is, I don’t need them to say something that gives me hope, I’ve heard most of that before. Sometimes, I just want to be able to vent and have someone listen without them being a whiny bitch about it or saying that I’m bringing them down or ruining their day. To let them know that I’m not intentionally obsessing with being sad so that I can get sympathy or whatever it is they think.

Like I am literally the ONLY one out of all these people I know who actually has a diagnosis of major depressive disorder. And it’s fucking chronic, ever since I was 14 at least, so over half of my life now.

One time I posted something on Facebook something that was extremely vulnerable and configured where only those closest to me could see it. But instead of leaving a comment like they at least care, instead I get some shit like “wow, you’re so ungrateful. Why don’t you try posting something better?” That filled me with such seething rage that I just deleted the post and posted a sarcastic thing about how “today is the best day of my life, nothing but sunshine and rainbows baby 🤩😇☀️🌈” 
Ever since then, I do not talk to people about my depression and I’ve also deleted that cancerous Facebook shit.

Sometimes I feel like anxiety, depression, and mental illness in general  are the worst things that a person can have. These narrow minded neurotypicals are not capable of believing anything unless they see it, yet they still believe in their precious God somehow. Instead, they interpret mental illness as character flaws because apparently mental illness doesn’t exist in this American utopia and think that I’m just whiny and want attention. So now, not only am I depressed, anxious and more, I’m fucking criticized, ostracized and alone, which makes the depression even worse. thanks for all of the support guys.

I feel like I’m the only sane one and all of these fucking nut jobs are taking crazy pills. When I eventually kill myself, I’m sure they all be so shocked and it’ll all of a sudden be some major tragedy.

In my experience, people in the US do not believe in mental illness. Is it just like this all around the world? How do you guys push through, feeling all alone, and not having a decent way to vent, and being criticized if you do?