The saying "everyone is different" is true, but to which degree? Every human breathes, drinks, and has a brain for instance. I'm not sure if I'm using the correct term, but most people are neurotypical too.

There is this thing I dislike about creating friendship where ego feels scratched, where little humiliations happen by accident most of the time. Idk honestly. I feel like I want friendship, but I don't want friends. Because the people in that world have disappointed so many times. I just... I just don't see it anymore. I don't see the logic in shrinking yourself, in degrading yourself to be into a group? Doesn't it hurt to make efforts to start a convo within a group of friends? Doesn't it hurt to be ignored? Doesn't it hurt to be left out and left in at the same time? 

And for what? For after a few months getting one level up toward friendship? I really don't see it. I don't understand human rules. Or perhaps I understand them but disagree with them. 

You know I think about this metaphor, I'm a poppy in a store where people only buy roses. I go to another store, and they only buy daisies. I go to another one, and it's begonias... I feel like an everchanging shape who cannot fit. Like in that kid game where he put polygons inside holes, well I would be the only polygon (am I even a polygon?) who doesn't fit in.

Idk, I get to be free of any friendship burden, but you know... In another world, in another dimension, it feels like I would have a home...