Hey all,

So I have BPD.  For 20 years, I thought I was just severely depressed, tried so many different meds and none of them worked.  This last winter was very difficult (I live in a gloomy rainy place) and for the first time I began suicidal ideations.  If not for my children, I'd not be alive.

 I was talking to my SO how I almost feel bipolar but that my swings don't last weeks but can be hourly and triggered by the tiniest things.  How I didn't want to be this way.  I'm actually really good about not acting out, I very rarely get visibly upset but I internalize and often cry.  I've learned not to direct my angst towards others and my family has come to understand that I can't help when I get incredibly sad, etc.

Anyway, researching bipolar sent me down the rabbit hole and I stumbled upon BPD.  After reading about it, I yelled, that's me!  My SO read it and said, that's you!  It was like a light went on.  So I contacted my doc, and sure enough, BPD!

So now I'm starting treatment and I feel hope that maybe I can fix this thing, or at least get it under control.

If anyone has treatments that helped them, I'd love to hear about them.