So the past few months my symptoms had been ruling my life, panic attack, screaming, crying outbursts at work. My relationship was falling apart. I was falling apart. 

I got a new therapist who seems to actually want to be intentional and directional with our time together and that has been really intense but very inspiring for me. 

She suggested I read a book called the 4 agreements and it has. Completely changed my perspective on my life and the lives and tendencies or people around me. I am amazed because its such a quick read. At first its overwhelmingly spiritual and didnt make much sense but by about 2/3 through it all started to come full circle. It almost seems like divine timing. 

I have been able to have calm, productive conversations about my thoughts and emotions with my boyfriend and in turn he has mostly been calm and listening... before it was just such a nightmare. I find myself easily being able to be vulnerable with him despite any perceived wrongdoing on his part in the past( that had been a HUGE hangups for me). 
I was able to be kind and loving toward a co worker that I once thought was horrible and basically out to get me in a way. I even stood up for her when other people mentioned they didnt like her. That feels so good and very freeing. 

Hope is real with this sometimes, debilitating disorder. You never know what's right around the corner and we dont have to always feel  victimised by our minds. There is power in forgiveness and power in knowing all the control you have is over you own self, no one else. 

Good luck with your journey and have a wonderful day.