I got off my meds again \[on accident\] a couple months ago, and kinda just never addressed the issue until recently, once I began to notice and dislike being off my meds.

Well, unfortunately, as what usually happens when I'm off my meds, I feel disconnected from everybody, which means including my girlfriend. I mean, my mom alone, I only reached out to once in the last two months. But my GF, I live with, so it's gotten really obvious. It took me awhile to realize that my distant and almost repulsive feelings towards her are the product of being off my meds and not actually because of anything she's done. We already have issues in our relationship that we don't really discuss \[enough\], so I just figured I was finally fed up. And I probably am finally fed up, but I'm also disconnected and unempathetic, I can't make any permanent decisions while I'm still chemically unbalanced.

I'm sure my GF can feel the disconnectedness, and I'm also not doing a particularly convincing job at acting like I want anything to do with her. She can be rather disconnected herself, but now that I'm pretty disconnected, it's like she's giving me all this attention that I don't want, and that I'm too tired to even pretend I want.

I just don't know what to do. I know I need to talk to her about what's going on, but I would rather not have this conversation while I'm still imbalanced. It just doesn't seem like the best scenario. Unmedicated, discussing feelings that I can hardly feel and don't even trust myself? Psh. But I can't wait several weeks, continuing to alienate her and avoid her.

Help.