I've exhausted myself for the past couple of years thinking by not considering my prolonged depression would make it simply wilt. I was (and continue to be) terrified of the mental toll it takes. I just want to be happy, but I can't feel it. I am tired and fatigued, and I can't even feel any relief. I just feel sad and blue all the time. I feel like I *shouldn't* feel relief, my self perception is insanely low. 

It really hurts my soul seeing people around enjoying their lives, having open souls, laughing, connecting with others - just enjoying the moment. All while I have to wallow in my self hatred and inescapable depression.