I’m still in the same position I was in college with the stress seeing others talking having fun socialising while I’m stuck in my head I’ve took a lot of thought of myself these past days and I think ending it is not so bad after all family are distant with me except for my mother but I just doesn’t feel enough I don’t even know what I want from life or what I’m even aiming for it’s like I’m just along for this miserable ride to I eventually die I just don’t know anymore I brought a noose and I look at it as away out of this feels like the times I enjoyed living when I was a kid has just dried up and I feel like a old man like my life is just ended  What does it mean to be happy? Satisfied