So overwhelmed.

I’m off work tomorrow and Friday to drive 90 min away to work on my dads estate.  Work itself is crazy right now because it’s fiscal year end this month.

Not happy through the whole thing because my dad chose to do an unequal distribution of items between my sister and I, then made me the estate trustee to rub my face in it.

It brings back a lot of childhood memories of being screamed at constantly.  My dad and I didn’t have a good relationship until I was 16. (I’m late 40s now).

I don’t feel that I can talk to my sister about it because it was his bad decision, not hers.  Though she’s talking about wanting to buy out my share in dads house and moving in herself.

Everything in his neighborhood has sold for 20-40% over asking in the last 6 months, so I’d prefer to test the waters.

As trustee, the lawyer gave me the mandate to maximize the value of the estate.  The bank however wants none of that.  They won’t let me spend dads money to fix things in the house.  I’m not talking about renovating the kitchen.  The two chairlifts need to be removed and the exterior stairs from the patio to the ground are a death trap and need to be replaced.  (Each riser and tread are varying sizes).

The bank also refused to allow me to reimburse myself for dads funeral and legal fees for settling the estate.  Resulting in 15k on credit cards, that will damage my credit rating and make me incur interest.

Throw in the fact that my marriage recently hit the 2 year mark of no sex, I’m stressed as hell.

So between having this “estate second job” to benefit others more than myself, my regular job which is in its busy season, and a wife who’d rather watch porn than be with me I’m overloaded, feel burnt out daily and really have nothing to look forward to.