I made a comment in a post about Neurofeedback therapy and thought I would share a little more publicly for those who don't know about it. Why am I sharing it? Well, I think it's important. I do NOT wish this to be intended as a fault of any therapist, but sometimes it's not that easy to understand what's going on inside your brain.   


I've been told again and again and again that I suffer from depression, anxiety and ADHD. It seems this is pretty standard kit for anyone with severe childhood trauma. I'm not saying always, but from what I've seen it's pretty standard...and, yes, I could be wrong. I loathe medication and every single one of it's side effects and I don't know how much good can be done by just talking. So, tired and frustrated of the same ole' same ole', I opted to give this a shot.   


It's an EEG, to make it simple. Google that if you want to know more. You fill out this questionnaire before you do the actual EEG. It's a bunch of situational questions about your feelings and how you perceive yourself. You get your EEG and someone compares your feelings about yourself to what the EEG picked up. If you look at the picture, the red areas around the blue circle are the results from the questionnaire. The green area around the brain in the center is what the EEG picked up. The shade of green denotes the level of scientific support for the association between these markers and the disorder. You can see these are the darkest green on the chart, which means there's a high amount of scientific support.  


The reason I'm sharing this is because, if you look at the picture, the questionnaire had me pegged as approx. 85% Depression. The EEG picked up zero percent Depression. None. It's important to note there are questions and behaviors that will trigger the Autism chart. To the "How comfortable are you in social situations" I said not at all. Apparently, that triggered Autism. It happens to almost everyone apparently and, if you are Autistic, you wouldn't need this test to tell you. You can ignore that part. The other markers, however, are pretty remarkable. The ADHD is almost spot on and the questionnaire picked up on more anxiety than the EEG, but it's still significant and severe. There are also other things the questionnaire picked up on the EEG didn't. Also worth noting, I find it interesting the questionnaire picked up on OCD even though I've been cured of that for years.   


I'm sorry this is lengthy, but I feel it's important we understand the symptoms and SEEK ANSWERS. Again, this is not an insult to any therapist or Dr. out there. I have a newfound respect for the people in your profession. It can NOT be easy carrying those secrets. Anywho, without the use of proper equipment there is absolutely zero chance any human being can know everything that's going on in your brain. They might be able to pick out some things, but not everything and the things they miss could be important. Like, what if you're taking medication that's harmful to your body, or that makes you feel absolutely horrid, for a condition you don't actually have? Wouldn't you like to stop doing that? Wouldn't you like confirmation and an ACTUAL FUCKING PLAN to fix whatever is going on with you? Hell, then you wouldn't have to take ANY medication.   


There is a con. It's expensive. The initial reading will cost you about $400. This is not covered by your insurance. However, the treatment portion (essentially every visit thereafter) is. It's your standard deductible for therapy. For the naysayers and skeptics, I cannot tell you my life has changed a whole lot since starting. I don't cry as much, but I still cry. Which means I've still being overrun with anxiety, but it has lessened. However, I can tell you that I had company this weekend. Company I haven't seen since before I started Neurofeedback therapy, but have seen since starting your standard therapy. At the end of the trip, a good friend of mine asked how I was doing and noted that my mood seemed "lighter." This may not mean much to you, but for a very close, personal friend to notice and comment on this gave me my first real dose of hope in an extremely long time.   


I was skeptical myself, but what do you have to lose when you're considering ending your own life just to end the mental war waging in your head every single fucking day? Nothing, because that's the worst possible place you could end up. If you're curious I would highly recommend looking into Neurofeedback therapy.  Technology is changing and advancing all the time and it's pretty mind blowing.   


Please keep pushing forward. There is hope...for all of us.   


I hope something good happens to you today.