i met my bf during what i’m pretty sure was a manic episode ?? and i’m questioning whether or not i truly love him. we met and had sex the same day we met, and the day before i had just stopped talking to my “not boyfriend boyfriend”. i didn’t actually feel like i deeply loved my bf until may of this year. we started dating after not even a month of knowing each other. today i realized that he triggered my depressive episodes, but not intentionally. and things i did caused me to have this crushing guilt, pushing me deeper into the depression?? i’m just confused and now i feel like maybe i’m not even bipolar, i’m just a shit person,,, i want to stop taking my meds and get so angry that i could just absolutely ruin everything in a blind rage.