I already have issues with he doesn’t text me “enough”, and get unreasonably upset about it. Which he knows and tries to be really mindful about which I really, really appreciate.

But we make a plan and says he’s going to come over. And then he only texts me once all day with a meme, and doesn’t respond at all to my other two texts or snapchat. Then just straight up doesn’t come over. And I’m on my couch drinking wine all night contemplating going to the bar because I know there’s some 50 year old man at a dive who will fawn over me for a few hours. But instead I just go to bed drunk and mad.

I’m swapping every 30 seconds between rage and fear this is the end. I don’t know which if either are reasonable or delusional because I can’t trust myself anymore. And once I start to voice my displeasure at the situation with him I’m going to lose control and scream or cry or both when I don’t want to. So I have to just stay quiet and hope to whatever little indications I’m able to drop will be picked up on.

Or I’ll just ignore him back fuck you.