I recently was diagnosed with BPD as well as GAD and major depression. I always felt like something was wrong with me in the way I thought and acted. My mom had bipolar so I thought I had it too but I have BPD. I am wondering what are some thing that have helped you heal this disorder naturally and holistically (no medication) and how to properly express your needs to your loved ones. 

I had a panic attack yesterday because my boyfriend walked away from me when I was expressing my emotions. I spiraled really bad, the worst it’s been in months. And I was hitting myself, banging my head things, and I scratched myself. How do I possibly manage these thoughts in the moment? When all I want to do is to hurt myself and it feels nice to hurt myself because I release some anger. Also after my partner seeing me harm myself he starts to freak out too. And he hit some really hard and hurt his arm. I don’t want to show him that this behavior is okay either and I know I’m a lot to handle at times. I want to not think about killing myself as the first thought in my head when my emotions are going hay wire.