i’m sick of being depressed, losing my mind, uncertain, anxious, paranoid, scared. i used to be so smart until drugs fried my brain. i liked when i felt normal and didn’t have to take anti psychotics to function. to merely function. i’m considering killing myself. the false memories, the horrifying hallucinations which are getting tougher to tell if they’re real or not, the paranoia, the anxiety, the uncertainty, the anxiety — i’m scared and just want it to end. i will never get better and only worse. i just want to kill myself