I get to the point sometimes where I’m just at my wits end. 
I have to cut off most of my family because they are so toxic. Recently tried to have lunch with my mom and she scratched herself screaming in the restaurant until bleeding from the neck. It took 4 hours to get her home safe. She said she wished she’d killed herself and me a long time ago since I’m so miserable. 
I do not want to constantly pester the people in my life with how I actually feel because it is a great burden. I am starting to lose the ability to put on a happy face. I’m also autistic so I’m sure that plays a part. 
I was admitted once and I just felt like my money was going into a hole while I was there. 
I was mostly just trying to be unadmitted to avoid getting into more debt. So I couldn’t really work on my mental health while I was there. 
Also the psychiatric care was awful. 
There’s gotta be a better way. Any other lady resort options while you wait for therapy? I can hold on but I just need some help just anything.