to be chronically depressed or clinically diagnosed with a mood disorder is to accept that all happiness is temporary and all sadness will one day return. more shame and guilt for the people who believe in you. more despair to be in the same place over and over. less motivation to pull myself out or rebuild my life after it’s crumbled. tired isn’t even the word anymore. the only end to this cycle is obvious, but would just bring more shame guilt and sense of wasted time… i wish i would’ve did it years ago.