I want to take my heart and crush it with my hands, like squeezing stress ball. I want to sleep and never wake up. I want to stab my heart. I want to shoot my heart. I want to jump off. I want to not exist. I feel like a failure. I feel like nothing I do is right. I feel like I won't get better. I'm not good enough. I've never been good enough. The pain will never end. Death feels like the only solution for me. It sucks to not have the guts to kill myself.