I am absolutely unable to function at the moment, but somebody needs to take care of her. All I do is go on walks and lay in bed. I'm having regular dreams of someone pulling a gun on me and it makes me so relieved in that dream. And so dissspointed when I wake up. Even people at work during calls started to ask what's up, I must look like zombie. 
I see no light at all. 
I had depression for years, but lately I had to break up with the man I love (and who loves me), because I don't want children and he does. 
It sucked my soul out. I just wanna not be here.