I finally got my first COVID vaccine yesterday after overcoming a big anxiety about it, but I feel so stupid and annoyed with myself. I could have got Moderna but instead I got Pfizer because I thought it might be safer. Now I realise I was being stupid and obviously should have got Moderna as Covid will cause more problems than a vaccine. All recent data shows Moderna is a lot more effective against delta and I KNEW that but still got Pfizer out of fears I had about Moderna due to it having more mRNA and from reading a lot of antivax stuff. I just feel so annoyed that I went and got the vaccine finally but didn't actually get the "best" one even though unlike most people I actually had a choice. I feel so foolish.

Now I feel like I will still get COVID badly despite being vaccinated. And I have to wait 8 weeks to get my second dose and I am so depressed about not being able to go out and live my life. I let anxiety rule my decisions and I can't believe I let anxiety make me overlook that Moderna was obviously the better choice. Also because Moderna gives more protection from the first dose as well compared to Pfizer.

I hate that I'm feeling so anxious and down about this. I felt so proud of myself yesterday for getting the vaccine finally and now I just feel like I made the wrong decision by not getting the one that will give me most protection. I'm so so down and I don't know how to get out of this black hole. Maybe it's the immune response making me feel more depressed than usual, normally it's just bad anxiety I deal with. Of course I'm grateful I got any vaccine but I just hate how I let anxiety rule my decision and go for short term alleviation of my anxiety (by getting Pfizer which I, for some reason, felt was "safer") rather than getting the more logical option of Moderna which is proven to be more effective both short and long term.

I don't know if my anxiety about the vaccine has just now got transferred to Covid. I was anxious about COVID before but i was focused on deciding about the vaccine so that distracted me. Now I read stories about so many breakthrough Pfizer cases, even celebrities like Hilary Duff, and I feel so hopeless and stupid. I don't think I could cope if I got really sick with COVID. If I had no choice between Pfizer and moderna that would be one thing, but I did!

 I'd been putting off taking antidepressants for my anxiety but this depression and hopelessness I'm feeling now makes me feel there's no choice. Getting the vaccine should have been my ticket out of anxiety, not this. I hate this feeling :(

Can someone help me get some perspective on this as I'm really struggling.