I've never talked to another person diagnosed with borderline. It's only ever been just me. I think one day I just mentally checked out after someone did something bad to me and never fully checked back in.  I have very few friends but personally I can't stand them most of the time and I've never understood why. It's like theyre too much of something or too little of something else. The thought of being touched makes me sick most of the time. Nobody looks at me like an equal to them. I spend too much time alone thinking about how much I can't stand being alone but I put myself here. I act like people leaving me can't hurt me and truthfully most of the time it doesn't hurt. Until I'm alone wondering why I have no one to talk to or why no one cares... Because I did this. Therapy failed me, pills failed me, suicide failed me, I failed me. Where do I go from here? I don't have any help and I don't know how to help me?