
I’m being left behind 

It’s not even something I can talk about, because I know it hurts them just as much. If I talk about it, it will make it all the more harder for them to leave 

I live in a abusive household with a few of my siblings, M16, f19, f20. It’s gotten a lot worse to the point that we have to leave, but I’m 14 and not legally allowed to go. My parents won’t let me leave but don’t have the authority to stop my siblings. So, they have found a place and are doing to be moving in a few hours. 

The house will be so empty without them and I’ll have no one. But I need to put on a brave face or I know they wouldn’t be able to leave, and I can’t bare them anymore hurt because of me. 

I just, I don’t know how I’ll be able to handle it. CPS sided with my parents, the police doesn’t help, and I’m stuck. I won’t have anyone and I don’t know how to deal with it , but the fact of the Matter is I *can’t* openly deal with it.

I suck at change to the extreme. So this is especially a punch to gut. Me and my female siblings shared a room but now it’s empty, I’m going to be in there all alone and it’s dark and lonely and I can’t handle this. I don’t know how I’ll sleep at night, how I *could* with all this going on. I like to live in a world were I pretend nothing is wrong, so that’s what I’ve been doing when they told me they were going. I pretended everything was normal and nights together were just like any other. But I’m abruptly being pushed out of world that was never there and forced to deal with reality, all on my own. 

I feel more desperate as the clock ticks down. It’s not like they are moving down the street either, it’s an hour or so away. 

They are leaving and I’m being left behind