I’ve been diagnosed since 2015.  My anniversary of my diagnosis is actually this month, but this past month, things finally...leveled out. 

My fp and I have been fighting for what seems like forever, but in reality we’ve been fighting on and off for 3 years. In those 3 years we stopped talking for a period of a week, then one time it was a month, then another time it was 2 months. We always came back to each other, but we always argued. We’ve been in a war between each other for 3 years. We were the root of each other’s emotional ways. 

So finally, 2 Thursday’s ago, he said he was done. Done. Finished for good. He said I had finally lost him. This of course sent me into a frenzy. He always wanted me to get better and show progress, and every time I’d say: I’ll do it! I’ll get therapy I’ll make progress! But I never lived up to those words. Until months too late it seemed. I finally started DBT in August and got the right medication after 2 years of needing it.  Anyways, after I had my panic attack, he let me call him and we talked it out. We then took a break for the weekend. He gave me one chance to prove therapy is/will work. And it has.

2 months after initially starting DBT, everything started working. I’ve been using my therapy skills effectively, I think rationally, I see things through my fps eyes, my fp and I have reached calm waters after 3 years. So many fun events have been thrown my way. I have plenty of time consuming activities.

It gets better. I promise. I was diagnosed with depression at 12. Then BPD at 18. I thought life would never get better. I had no hope left in me. But here I am, telling you, I have a fire of hope inside me. And it’s burning very brightly. The secret: You have to make it better. You can’t sit around hoping it’ll get better. You have to take action. I know a lot of you don’t have access to therapy/professional help, but there’s one key between relationships that makes a world of difference: Communication. It’s key. Don’t be petty or quiet or irrational. Ask questions. State your true feeling flat out. 

It gets better. I promise. Just take the step. 