I live with another person with BPD. We were going somewhere yesterday and I told them I was anxious. They told me that hearing that caused them emotional  distress, and when I *used to be* their FP it was OK to share my feelings like that, but now I'm to check in with them to see if they have the "emotional space" first. I told them I guess I need to get a new FP, and they said it's never appropriate to share my feelings like that without checking first, regardless who it is.

What I heard was that I'm to paint a happy smile on my face and climb into a clown suit every day so as not to reveal the stupid ugly broken person that's the real me, and not to take off my clown suit without consent, just like you don't reveal your naked body to someone without consent. The weekly therapy and multitude of psych meds I take every day? Those are just there to help me wriggle my ugly broken self into my clown suit every day.