My fiancé has been supporting me the last few months as my schizo disorder has become more intense and I regularly am hallucinating w no help from my meds. Today is my first real shift and I’m honestly panicking so bad. I hate when people look at me. I hate constantly thinking at 100 mph about everything. I hate the way I look. I just want to go home but we need more money. I don’t want to make any friends but I’m afraid it will be miserable if people dislike me and I seem closed off. I don’t feel like I can do this but I need to. It’s only part time but I’m just such a failure at trying to survive.