Sorry for the long rant

I recently went inpatient for a couple days, and ended up having to quit my job at an emergency vet clinic (due to it being a major stressor).

I was feeling amazing for a couple days but now I'm jobless and taking a little bit to regroup, but I feel guilty for not looking harder for a new job. Plus there are a few jobs on my resume that I didn't stay at long (due to having a mental breakdown), so I'm worried that reflects badly on me.

I'm currently living with my parents and boyfriend and feel pathetic for relying on them so much. 
After having a job where I felt so useful, I now feel completely useless and like there's no point in me being alive anymore. I know that's not true because I have people who love me, but I feel like I'm doing nothing with my life and it wouldn't matter if I'm gone. In fact, it might be better because I won't be a burden anymore.

I went from feeling amazing after a med change, like I'm finally stable and okay, to feeling like utter useless trash. It's just so exhausting, as I'm sure you all know.