I’m 18F in the UK, not even trying for a diagnosis right now because it was hard enough to get medicated for depression. I just feel so heartbroken right now, I am supposed to be going to university soon but everyone in my life is moving onto better things and I’m so stuck. I’ve finally found the place I am happy in college and now I have to leave it again and have everyone I’ve made connections with leave me. It is just another form of abandonment but this time placed on the world. People I know have goals, real goals and my only goal is to get through this winter without threatening my partner with a breakup or much worse. I don’t want this to be forever but I don’t know if I want to be healthy because that would just be so alien. Has anyone ever gone ahead in life after thinking you were already at the peak of it and realised you were not? I think after writing this I am asking for some reassurance that being better is worth it. Thank you for reading :)