Idk what happens to me. I worry a lot. I feel like I want to burst. I feel like continuing life in world is so hard to me. I scared, I don't talk to anyone, I cut ties, I avoid socializing at all cost. I worry sick about my family. Now my mom is not very well, I can't stop thinking what gonna happens next. I worry sick about myself, I feel like I'm sick. I'm diagnosing myself with long covid, post traumatic stress disorder, paranoia, generalized anxiety disorder. But people tell me I'm overreacting. I feel like my body incapable of protecting itself. I am so scared of COVID. Catching it and spreading to my loved ones. Why can't I never be happy! Why my life always in constant worry? In 2020, I worry the most about my appearance. Now I want my 2020 back because it is the best time of my life and I regret the time I lost from the constant worrying in 2020. I had been a toxic to people around me so much. My sister is sick of me. My parents are worried of me and give countless advice that I don't have a power to follow. My roommates always had to hear my problem and they know they can't help me. I feel like a failure in my life. I turn to a anxious, insecure, non-reliable, non-thrustworthy, full-of-regret adult. It is not what I thought I would be, considering how top achiever I was in school. I don't want to keep bothering people around me but I would feel so loss like not wearing life jacket in the sea. I don't know what happens to me but I feel so overwhelmed right now.