I’ve asked my therapist about what I “have,” and have even directly asked if I have BPD, and she always answers by saying that I just experienced trauma at a very young age and throughout my childhood and because of that, I developed maladaptive behaviors. 

I just think it’s very interesting how cptsd and bpd “symptoms” look very similar. 

However since becoming self aware and processing my trauma, my symptoms have reduced soooo much. Aside from occasional depression/anxiety, disassociating, and binge eating episodes, I don’t feel like my life is so out of control anymore. But I think I should also mention that it took me 3-4 years of therapy to finally have my “breakthrough.”


At the same time, I’ve become very avoidant, and I feel like my issues are very much triggered by being around other people (I’ve been alone 99% of the time during this pandemic.) So I might be improving but in a way I’ve really just shifted to another extreme. 


My symptoms are/were
•extreme fear of abandonment 

•emptiness/no sense of self

•extreme reactivity (especially in relationships)

•impulsive behaviors

•history of eating disorders (mostly binging)

•high highs and low lows

•history of substance abuse

•disassociating

•anxiety/depression for as long as I can remember 

•history of abusive relationships