I am trying to trust my gf every second of everyday.. i just can’t. I have had a lot of partners cheat on me. Which I found out each of them in the time of the relationship. I am with someone new, she has herself really grounded, promised herself to not cheat and said she wouldn’t. I believe her inside but of course my thoughts think she is lying like the others.. I learned to just ignore and live with the millions of thoughts running through my head and just let her be. We have had a lot of arguments some stemming from my overreactions.. I don’t want to be upset, mad, or sad. I just want to love her. Which i do deeply.. im scared to lose her. i don’t want to.. i told her about it and explained it to her. I promised her i’ll try to control it better. but i’ve come to find myself crying away from her and trying to calm myself. Im literally crying on the edge of the bed because I asked who she was sending a selfie to.. she said no one and turned her phone away. although i know with how she is that she was most likely playing around. i said fine turned away and she said don’t be like that and i pushed her away, now i’m crying on the edge of the bed while she’s on her phone. I just want to stop overthinking. as soon as she said that my gut turned and all my trauma and untrusting part started screaming and i just wish my head would shut up.