Before you say "Well you just have to take a break sometimes" or "well it'll get better eventually" no it won't. It's been like this my whole life.

I've never had anyone who actually ever cared to try and help me, just people telling me it was hurting them what I did to myself. And asking me to stop doing it for them.

I've hated myself since I was a kid even though as far as to try and kill myself from the age of 6. I don't want to be "fixed" or "better" because I've tried and I've never been able to be.

I do want to be happy, but it's anyways temporary. I've only ever find one person who I could go to bed and be happy, and even she turned out to end up hurting me and literally telling me that my feelings don't matter.

I hate myself and I'm not going to change that. And I accept that.