I hit bottom again. I've decided to try intensive outpatient in the evenings after work. Maybe they have the secret combination of meds that I need.  I'm always full of hope in the beginning. I just hope it does not affect obtaining the security clearance I need for my job.

 I've also given myself a date of January 7th to end it if I am still in the same repetitive process of fucking it all up. 

Cheers