I only hung out with guy a couple times. He was always busy with school or something so we he wasn't consistent or reliable as I would have liked. In the beginning he was messaging me all the time...eventually I went down on him and then he stopped making an effort to contact or see me. I don't think its cause im like bad at it or something. Im just jaded af and feel like that's all guys care about.

I did make the mistake of telling him I almost relapsef with self harm. Maybe he just met someone else and its easier to ghost me. Its my fault cause I unadded him on snap when I was feeling ignored. We texted a little back and forth but no response anymore and I dont see him on snap.

Just fuck. Im already isolated as shit. Basically obsessed with my awful ex cause hes the last person I spent a significant amount of time with, plus I'm still working on the prolonged cognitive dissoance.

Just fuck. I hate people. I hate how quickly and carelessly they leave. I hate men. All men in my life have ever done is use me for sex and leave me. I don't even have a sex drive anymore. Im only twenty seven years old. Fuck. This hurts. Im alone again and I don't even want to try anymore.