How can somethings as simple as going to the opticians be such an exhausting and distressing experience? As I’m sitting waiting to be seen, my heart starts to race as it gets closer to my appointment, and I’m just sitting there controlling my breathing trying to calm myself and my thoughts down. Then, when it’s my turn to be seen, the optician asked me to raise my hand over one eye, and I literally was shaking so violently that I could barely hold it there and was practically trembling. After that horrible experience, she asked me to rest my chin on the medical instrument and my neck was just trembling/twitching like it does at the barber shop when I get nervous. 

Living with this severe anxiety is just so fucking exhausting. I’m so tired of completely bugging out during the most simple things like sitting in a barbers chair or at an appointment. It just makes life so impossible. Now its gotten to the point where I’m not only dealing with the violent anxiety, but I’m also noticing symptoms of derealisation too. 

This shit is just getting worse and I’m scared.