I’ve overdosed in the past, I did again after that, and I’ll probably do it again . Whenever my emotions become to much I reach for pills. Any pills I can get. This has landed me in the hospital too many times. Im fine one moment and incredibly depressed the next - it’s terrifying knowing it will probably happen again. I’m doing my best to learn my triggers and cope with them but therapy and medication is just not enough.
I had to tell my boyfriend it happened again a few days ago. It broke him the first time, and if only my body wasn’t still fucked from the side effects I think he’d be gone now. 
What’s the best way to explain this disease to others? I know I’ll probably push everyone away eventually but I don’t want them to leave thinking they were why I did what I did and do what I do.