I (23F) was an extremely anxious child. My anxiety was triggered by eating, shopping, or being far away from home. I couldn’t go out to eat because I’d have panic attacks at restaurants, we couldn’t even do drive thru’s without me disassociating from panic. For whatever reason, my mom taking me out to buy clothes would make me anxious as well. Couldn’t do sleepovers with friends. By the time I reached 17 or so- my anxiety seemed to miraculously disappear. I was able to travel all around the world on my own, I could go out to restaurants without a second thought, there was no more feeling of dread of “what if I have a panic attack”. It was incredible and I wish I hadn’t taken it for granted. When covid hit, my boyfriend at the time moved in with me. That relationship definitely gave me a lot of anxiety and it lasted for about two years. In spring of 2021 I left him and the job I hated and moved to a new city, moved in with a dear friend, and got a new job that i absolutely love. Much to my dismay, when I started to try to go to restaurants again post pandemic restrictions, I couldn’t do it. My panic attacks were so bad that I had to leave every time I tried. Same goes for concerts or any kind of social gathering. It’s made my social life pretty miserable, and I’ve found myself saying no to events because I’m dreading the potential of having a panic attack. I can’t even go over to my own parents house for dinner. In my day to day life my chest feels tight and I rarely feel at ease unless I’m alone.

I’m so desperate to return to this anxiety free me that I know exists somewhere deep down…has anyone else ever experienced this kind of “relapse”? Any tips? I’ve been trying to inch out into the world despite my desire to avoid everything but even the panic attack free outings haven’t motivated me enough to “trust” that the anxiety won’t overtake me. 

TLDR: Debilitating anxiety from my childhood has made a return after 4 blissful anxiety free years- looking for possible remixers or explanations