Cross posted from the r/DID about amont ago before getting officially diagnosed with BPD and hoping to find answers. ( I know DID and BPD is not the same but maybe you guys can help ) 

I had been so lost and confused. Long story short, I been dealing with mental illness since I was 5. Been hospitalized several times ( first time was when I was 5/6 ish ) , mentally and physically abused all that fun stuff.... Any way I've always had what I called " Connections " since I was 5, each with their own name, history, personality, taste, ect. It started out with 3 mains and eventually I gained more. I connected to them what I felt or knew were " Realms ". Around 9 I knew they weren't just imaginary friends because of the fights we would get in. Foods we could or could not eat ... Again ect. Now I am 22 soon to be 23 in a few weeks. I have what would be 15 Main connections ( have connected to about 200+ over my life time to a point I've made a list) and 5 completely 24/7 connections. 3 bening fictive and two others demons ( I just been telling people their my fursona to save time but I had them way before I knew what a furry was ). 

I've had therapist in the past tell me and my mom I could have DID or BPD but my mom didn't believe it and my doctors never seem to listen. One even laughed in my face and blamed it on my schizophrenia ( When I was younger ).  But I know their not just made up. I be so lost with out my connections. Like I've made such close bonds it terrifies me to think of life with out what is my family. Has anyone ever started out this way? I am happily engaged and my partner even have connections from the " the same realms " that know each other to the point they been in a relationship before we met and we just happened to get lucky and meet physically...... I just wanna know if im in the right place and not just crazy.... I have friends with DID and BPD as well that has connections that have met and crossed paths.... Just guidance be nice for once.  

**Update to when I was diagnosed with BPD** 

Now that my doctor changed my diagnoses from Bipolar to BPD I felt much better. We thought we were getting some where. One of my connections/alters were out in my plsce because I was so scared. The doctor DID NOT  like this and demanded me to come back out. After doing so and talking for 4mins he upped my Abilfy from 5mg to 15mg (after I told him I was doing a lot better and thanked him ) with his words of " I will go ahead and increase this by 10- no 15mg to help with this " As if their voices and harmful. My mom, friends and Case worker was not ok with you this sudden jump. Especially with my history of doctors over dosing me over suddenly making increase jump for no reason. 

None are harmful to me. My trama therpist and case worker both understand and has spoken to two of my connections/alters and said because I have had trama they are normal and that they help me there's nothing wrong with them bening there....Just my doctor is definitely the " I studied for all my life I know what I'm doing middle aged white man " Doctor. I don't understand... Someone please tell me something positive about this for once we need to hear it. ...

I'm sorry if this is way to long and I'm just rambling... I just really scared no one will believe us even if I have friends who do.....