I just feel like a background character in my own life. Like a NPC in some video game that gives you a random common item that all the others give you. Everyone else in their senior year is hanging out with friends, going to parties, having fun at clubs, and here I am.

I haven’t even had my first kiss yet.

I have barely any friends and those that I do have barely talk to me.

I watch as my club members plan parties and invite everyone but me. Then afterwards be like: “Oh sorry girlypop. I forgot you existed, maybe next time.” But next time never comes.

And what am I doing? Playing dnd? Playing a squid game alone in my room?? Work? Homework?? Ignoring my real life?

I’m being dragged through life by others and I’m too stupid or too dumb to make it stop. I want to be cool like my cousin, he’s only a month younger than me. But he’s so much cooler, popular, and sociable than I am. He’s HOCO King and I’m too afraid to even sign up. He goes out every Friday and I’m stuck at home doing chores. I’m nothing to these people. Nothing. I’m nonexistent in my small town of few. I’m certain no one would care if I died tonight. 

No one would care about a girl they didn’t even know existed.