I think I’m broken inside now. It’s almost like, I’ve fully accepted the bleakness that is life.

I’ve accepted that people don’t actually really care all that much and that at the end of the day you only really have yourself.

I don’t believe I will ever be a lucky person. If there’s anything my 29 years of life have taught me, it’s more like I’m an unlucky person.

I realize I will have to bleed and suffer for my happiness. I will have to break my back to achieve my dreams and that I must absolutely put myself first.

I realize that I have no one on my side.

Everything I thought I knew and thought would make me happy has all turned out to be a lie.

My career, business, relationships, family.

What do you do when you no longer have anything to believe in?

I’m just here. Alive but not living. It’s all about survival for me now.

Every other bet I ever placed has failed. My college education, my business, my romantic relationship, my family.

I have nothing right now. I’m just going to work from here on out. I just want to make lots and lots of money then retire as early as I can somewhere overseas so I can live a quiet life.

I’m definitely afraid now. I realize that deep inside, more than anything, I crave security and safety.

That’s what it is.

I want to feel safe and protected, but I realized that I will never find that in other people.

So I am leaning towards money and a low cost of living.

I just want a simple life. Nothing glamorous. I desire peace.

Love and family would be great, but as of right now, I don’t have the luxury to think about those things.

At the very least, I want to make sure I won’t be homeless and starving for the rest of my life. Once my physical needs are met, then I can have the luxury to actually pursue the things I enjoy.

Even if nobody else likes it or cares for it. I will do it for myself.

May the universe hear my cry. May some benevolent power hear my pleas.

Send me strength and a little bit of fortune. Things have been so bad recently. I can’t take anymore.

If I did something to cause this all please forgive me. Help me to achieve my simple dream. Please, let a little luck and fortune come my way.

I’m not asking for much. I’m just so tired and weary.