i started out with a neutral day looking forward to the things i was to do, and now im back where ive always been. fat, poor, insecure, comparing myself to everyone i know and always coming up short. i have next to nothing to my name, am overweight, at a good university with subpar grades, and fucking insufferable everytime i open my mouth. ive never been loved romantically and i am not desirable because of how i look and who i am. my brother bullies me and my mom is a narcissist and i don’t know what to do with my life to stop being poor. i hate what i love because im afraid im horrible at it. im terrified of being loved because i know ill fuck it up and im not worthy. i don’t want to die but i just want to sleep forever. until i am where i can stand myself.