My parents have always been insanely strict , and has affected me socially.

From pre school to sixth grade, I went to a small Christian school (only 8 students in my class) and I did not get along with anyone there. My parents constantly compared me negatively to my peers. I was always above intelligence but they made fun of me being socially awkward, even though bruh my whole life I only knew 7 other people.

Fast forward, went to public middle school, and thrived socially.First time in my life I made friends and actually had my first kiss and made it to third base in 8th grade and was drinking . My parents did not want me dating and was basically living a double life , of frat bro at school and church boy at home.

High school, I still had my friend group and made new friends. Because of my parents pushing Christian values, whatever the fuck that means, they didn't want me to date and even though I had friends that were girls and kissed and all that, I NEVER  brought them to my house and avoided getting too close with them. They also started drug testing me junior year and whenever I went which I did once in a blue moon, literally would follow me and smell my breath and I had to be home at 7 pm. I basically had friends only in school and not outside of school, bc after my sophomore year, I stopped going to see them.

All the sudden, college , my parents are like you should get married and find a good Christian girl.I go to a big public city school , I'm from suburban TX , and my freshman and sophomore year I did fine academically, but the 2 years of rare outside social contact , fucked me up and I had trouble keeping friends.

I fell in love with a girl right before COVID, who was not Christian, she was Hindu, and I told my parents. My parents were fine with here but worried about her "moral values",but my grandparents, were like "you coudn't find a white girl?" . She also really liked to make bracelets and my parents would lose their shit because bracelets on a man look "gay".

Over time, dealing with it ruined me mentally. We ended up breaking up but I wouldn't bring up dating ever again with my parents.

The stress that came from the relationship plus covid led me to gain weight and my grades slipped. I still passed but my cumGPA had dropped from a 3.2 to a 2.8 in one year.

Over the summer,I met a new girl who was East Asian and I obviously hid the relationship from my parents. She abused by punching and slapping me, stole from my credit card,and I could not tell my parents cuz they'd be  like "thats what happens when you date someone who doesnt believe in Jesus&gt;"

I ended up failing all my classes that semester, and when my parents found out they took me out of school.

They took my phone and my laptop away and I ended up working at a Fed EX warehouse for 4 months. I hated it and my depression got worse, bc every day I would come home to my parents screaming abt how I fucked up my life, and how they can't show their faces at church, bc their kid dropped out of school. I also had no contact with anyone. They would also scream at me for sleeping for so long.

In June, I began taking summer online courses, but I'm still working 6 hours a day. I do not have a phone so I still can't contact anyone and especially in compsci, when I'm stuck I can't contact friends to help which is led to my grades suffering.  Over the past month, I have woken up and have headaches 24/7.

Since Christmas, I have not had any contact with any of my friends and I have begun to talk to myself and I could give a shit abt my appearance so I've gained even more weight. My parents blame me for " being in outer space and acting weird" but I have had ZERO SOCIAL CONTACT with anyone. They still scream at me every day.

Lastly , my parents are big ON CHURCH but they have been screaming at each other since I was 2.  I've dealt with hours of screaming matches daily my whole fuckin life, and it's led to me being scared of others and I'm unable to stand up for myself.

I want to know how to get better, and right now the biggest thing is the lack of social contact bc I've been going crazier every day.