Both us ar borders. We met online, we've been alike souls, driven by the urge of being love. Lonely souls. We spoke for a month in May, I scared her and she blocked me. I june si unblocked me for four day, we have been virtually intimated, but she is demisexual and she don't felt same for me so she  didn't felt good,  but despite this she did for my sake, even I didn't asked for that. This is the person she is, she changed my life. Her presence, her absence. After she took a panic attack and blocked me without a word. For last four months I tried to connect with her, so I ended harrasing her online. No feel good for this. I ended in this way with many women, after they cut ties with me. I have emotional dependent personality also.  She unblocked me last week, so we spoke about how she felt, how she got harrased online from people from our common friendlist from Facebook because of me, without me being awared, like literally after a day she blocked me in sumer first time, a woman from our common friendlist asked her if she don't want a relationship with me. I wasn't aware about this until now. I felt bad for that, I never spoke to that woman, and I never asked for advocacy, I am good my own to destroy my life.  Well I made in June and Jule some post about her (not mentioning her) despite I was blocked she saw them, she felt unsafe, she felt like I can expose her, but from my pov of that time I just tried to contact her. I made those post hoping she will she how much I miss her. But she didn't felt like that. From start we both stated we are toxic, in our different way. She read me perfect, and I was able to do the same for her. So she understood my actions, my anxiety and accepted me, but she didn't feel the way I feel. So now being aware that she was hurt by me I decided to block her. Second attempt to do that, last night I tried first time, and I couldn't this time, I thing I can.  I just love her and don't want to her suffer because of me. So I did the healtiest thing I could do, or at least I hope I did. I blocked her. I know she will block me also. I don't have any hope or any regrets regard to this. I just wish happines for her. That's all! I don't want to be someone she have to take care, and to don't feel safe around. I feel like a kind of monster.