When I was 14 to 17 I had two different relationships which both led to being cheated on and really ruined my confidence. I never thought it was a problem as I have been in little relationships here and there and slept with women with no triggers or major issues, although I have distanced myself from people and refuse to get to close. Apon reflection on how I am now acting and feeling, the past has really injured my ability to feel secure in a relationship as  both times I was cheated on happend when I was developing those skills.

I am now dating a woman and everything was fun for a while but as I have grown to love her and im starting to feel abit crazy! My imagination runs wild about how she will hurt me or that I am not good enough for her. Deep down I trust her and we talk about these things and she is very understanding and patient with me, but I can not shake this anxious cloud above my head and I dont want to always express myself becouse I am running around in circles, repeating myself and there is only so much comforting she can do... im scared of her losing patience and leaving and I feel as if my thoughts will manifest and are leading me down this path. All of itseems to be just in my head, but its making me feel awkward and I am losing my ability to flow in the relationship and enjoy the moment.

I had to leave for a few months and I feel guilty about leaving her behind so maybe this is one of the triggers (she says she has no negative feelings at all and understands) and I also like her more then almost any woman I have met in the past so this is probably another...

I really like her and don't want to ruin everything becouse im imploding... its hard just to belive her becouse I do but the doubt creeps on back and I know it is somthing deeply rooted from when I was a child and/or teenage years.

Im seeing some therapist but im only really getting taught coping tools which help abit but don't feel as if they address the problem.

Any advice or experience to share ?
I wanna be a good boyfriend and a strong person for her.