 

Hi everyone, 

Firstly thank you for any help or guidance in advance. I'm not sure I'm in the right place or even have what could be called anxiety and am thankful that this hasn't developed yet into anything more but I'm just looking for a steer/guide or advice. 

I'm a very curious person and always want to get into new hobbies and interests, for example I have   
numerous times been signed up to a free Muay Thai lesson or to our local toastmasters  however find i'm holding myself back for irrational reasons. 

I'll feel ok in going to these things until right at the last minute, where if the opportunity arises I will make any weak excuse to myself or to someone I was going with to bail, I think internally I even know what I'm doing but I do it every time. Occasionally I can force myself into doing things but essentially the excuses are always irrational and not real. 

Another good example is I was booked onto an informal talk that I paid for on Monday and was about 3 minutes late, there were places to park nearbyish but nothing that close after driving around a bit, so I just decided there was nowhere to park and left, in the back of my mind I was consciously thinking "oh god I'm going to walk in late and everyone will look at me". Something now it's passed I'm perfectly ok with and don't care about. 

I guess what I'm looking for is ultimately how can I stop myself doing these things as I feel it is impacting my life, particularly as I've recently moved to a new city so these things are important to building a new life.

**TL;DR I make irrational excuses for things that I want to do and i'm interested in that i'm even aware are irrational at the time. How can I stop this?**