Background:   When I (BPD traits) become really anxious, which happens pretty   frequently (about once a week, sometimes even for a few days), my mind   falls into a very extreme state. Describing the details would take too   long, but what I feel I need in these moments is my S/O to reassure me   of their love and tell me they want to grow old with me and will not   leave me (hello BPD). So I know this stupid and nobody can give you that   reassurance all the time, but without judging myself, this is how I   feel then.

My S/O loves me but  sometimes struggles with being sure about things and depression too   (we're a very fun couple ;) and because in the past my BPD (main part)   combined with his hesitance led to major anxiety outbreaks,   communicating when I feel anxious and need support is really hard.

So   my question kind of is: When I get anxious, should I deal with it  alone  or is it ok to ask my S/O for support? How could I communicate my   feelings in a non-harmful way and what can I ask for?

Thanks in advance