I know people have asked if whether or not they are dissociating, but I can't find anything really like mine. I have been reading a lot on it and I don't seem to match a lot of the symptoms. I very rarely feel out of my body, for instance. 

For example: When dealing with strong emotions like when somebody says something rude or hurts me, or when I'm having a difficult therapy session, I will get a thousand-mile stare. I will not blink or move my eyes. I will sometimes (but usually not) be able to follow what they are saying and I will mostly just be completely blank - no feelings, nothing. 

Since I've started paying attention to this I have noticed that I will still do the crazy stare at some object and will still feel numb, but also overtaken by rumination. 

As an adult, I can now look back and remember doing the staring thing as a very young child. Just staring at some random spot and disconnecting. 

I guess I don't fit the definitions of Derealization and Depersonalization. 

My therapist will ask me to look at her sometimes and will have to repeat a lot of things she's said if it's a difficult session. 

I guess I'm wondering if this is actually dissociation or something more mild or nothing at all? It really only happens when something painful is addressed or happens. I just zone out. I can litterally go minutes without blinking. 

Also: What do you think my therapist thinks is happening? 
