I was dating a guy for two years and I was and still am very very in love with him. everything was mostly ok until he went to college. we broke up (because of my bpd) but it was supposed to just be a break and we agreed we were going to try again after i'd had time to focus on myself. i started seeing my therapist a lot more, switched up my meds and i was really feeling good and optimistic about us because i saw my own improvement. i knew that when we tried again it would be better. 

today he told me he no longer wants to try again with me and he wants to see someone else. i've never felt worse in my life and i don't know what to do. i keep thinking about suicide but i wish there was some other way for me to stop feeling this heartbreak. i love him more than anything in my life, he was my best friend and my first love and my whole world and now i feel like i have nothing. i feel like nobody will ever love me again. i feel like i will never love somebody again. it feels like my life is over and pain is the only thing left. 

i'm 17 in my senior year of high school and i know this is going to be bad for me. when i get depressed i stop doing schoolwork and sometimes i stop going to school. all i want to do right now is lie in my bed and die. i've tried to talk to people but nobody understands just how difficult this is for me, having bpd. i remembered this sub and i thought i should ask for help here since i know some of you may have gone through the same thing. i just want help. i don't know what to do. 