(18M) I was in some really crappy relationships, and got taken advantage of emotionally more than once. I cut off all my friends in order to convince one girlfriend that I was loyal. I had another girlfriend who I bent over backwards for in order to support her codependency and mental illness. Ever since this happened though, I’ve become more of a people pleaser to the point where I’ll become extremely ragey when I find other people not accepting my help or kindness. If a gift is turned down I’ll ask why but in a really agitated tone of voice. Otherwise I’m over the top cheerful at work. Which is abnormal because I used to be very visibly mopey but very quiet and well behaved which I still feel like on the inside. But now I wear this mask of optimism and sometimes sarcastic cheerfulness. I don’t know what’s happening to me. Earlier today I was upset with myself for a mistake I made and got caught up in this grip where I just started legit yelling at people like I was angry with them but, I was telling them to have a good day. I also have a tendency to use a similar tone when someone is upset with me but instead of fighting back I start telling them that I’m a useless piece of shit. It’s like all of the expressions of anger without any of the resentment or emotions attached to it. This behavior started with my mom who has a tendency to fly off the handle about perceived disrespect. If my grades are bad or if I was spending too much time trying to take care of my girlfriend she’d get extremely upset and start yelling calling me names and making assumptions. I started to respond to this by yelling the same insults she was calling me basically repeating what she said or taking it to an extreme and insulting myself even worse. This was full on yelling but insulting myself. I do this now whenever anyone seems upset with me I just start berating myself loudly. So my question: Is there some type of illness connected to this? Am I just really emotional or something? Should I be so concerned as to get a counselor for this?