I think the worst part of a depressive episode is once the sad disappears, and you are left with nothing.
You know those really bad days that happen, and getting out of bed can be the biggest accomplishment for they day? 
You’ll be laying there and the sadness starts to fade, but nothing replaces it. not angry. not anxious. definitely not happy. it just becomes nothing, and nothing in the world matters. and part of you wishes and tries to become sad again, just so you can feel… something. 
But instead, you lay there. you lay there and it’s like the world doesn’t exist anymore. it doesn’t matter that you’ve just been wasting your day anymore. it doesn’t matter that tomorrow is coming. it doesn’t even matter what’s going on around you. nothing matters in this void. 
And you realize this is happening, but guess who doesn’t care.
this is the part that scares me the most.
all you can do is wait until your body is tired enough to put itself to sleep.