Even when I'm not completely breaking down, I just do it. It's not exactly casually but sometimes I do it when I'm not even at the absolute limit of depression/anxiety. 

Sometimes I want to feel worse and feel like I deserve to suffer. I can't unthink the thought to do it, and then I have to. I feel like I deserve to be punished an have barely any impulse control. I can sometimes cut myself and then be laughing and joking with someone 15 minutes later.