TW for assault threats.


5 years ago, a guy I rejected threatened me with an acid attack. At the time, I told my parents, who contacted his parents (we were both 16 at the time) and threatened to call the police on the guy if he ever approached me. 

I had rejected this guy because I already knew how hateful and disrespectful he was towards women and now that knowledge only fuels my anxiety more.

Somehow I got it into my head that one night he will pop up in my bedroom window while I'm sleeping and throw acid at me. I check every door, window, wardrobe, bed, empty room and dark corner in my house before I go to bed but I keep thinking, what if he finds a way in and makes good on his word?

I recently decided to check his Instagram to see what he does and if there are any indications that he is still holding a grudge. He seems to, at least on the internet, have had a whole makeover in personality. The first word in his bio is 'Pacifist.' He keeps posting about peace and non-violence. 

Is it reasonable to think that he's still out to get me after 5 years? No. But it's not impossible. I keep staring at the window till 4-5 am until it's either light out or I pass out. I can't get any sleep and I think that's making things worse.

Do any of you have an anxiety like this? Do you have a way of dealing with it?