Hi everyone! I am a 19 year old who has recently finished his first year of college and have been wondering if I’m depressed or not after a certain conversation with my dad I had very recently.

Basically, I never considered myself to be depressed. Like there are definitely days where I feel depressed but everyone has those days I assume. I mean, I’m prone to overthinking and feeling lonely, but I never took these as signs of genuine depression because I’m able to maintain good grades in school and have fun with my friends. I guess an issue I’ve always had though is that growing up, I’ve never been able to find passion with anything and am generally bored with life. Like there are things I like but I’ve never felt that drive to really learn that thing and become proficient with it. The only thing I genuinely like to do is spend time with my friends, which isn’t much of a passion in general, and definitely not a passion my dad would be not disappointed with. I guess I’m a little concerned because my dad just pointed this out recently and how he’s worried despite me getting good grades. 

Recently, I’ve been finding myself looking at drugs more and more, especially ever since joining a fraternity at school. I always felt I was experimenting with them only but it’s undeniable that feeling drunk or high is nice for me in part because it stops my overthinking and loneliness and really just let’s me enjoy the moment. Im actually rather prone to feeling lonely (this is more in part due to my childhood but I won’t go into that here) because it’s so easy for me to feel that people don’t care about me, but I feel I’ve found happiness in my friendships knowing my friends care about me to some degree (hopefully haha). 

I have been a little concerned recently regarding whether or not I’m depressed, and very anxious about finding a passion before it’s too late. Am I depressed at all? Or am I just overthinking as usual? Thank you very much for reading this and since I tried to keep this as short as possible, if anyone has any questions, I would be more than happy to elaborate. Thanks once again!