I’ve self isolated myself along with COVID along with moving across the world nearly alone for the last year.. (like middle of nowhere/different language/0 friends type move) 
I split when my FP told me some hard to digest opinions and cut her off but also because I feel like she’s too normal.. too strong.. and dealing with me is not ideal for her.. (yeah obvi, I made that decision for her so my fault) 
Anyway, trying to work on our mental health by building better habits.. I just want to talk to someone that I end up posting to empty dead accounts. 
Im just so nervous about starting a new job tomorrow that my work permit depends on but the self saboteur in me keeps telling me “I’m not enough, I tricked the head chef into thinking I’m better than I am, and that they’re going to pull the permit from under me once they see..” or I’m going to make a dumb mistake and panic and they see.. 
thanks for making this space. 
I hope this followed all the rules..