Just ranting here, but always striving for the next best thing isn’t going to make you happy. Always thought finally getting this or getting that next thing would finally be the cure. It’s not.  In fact, it probably pulled me down further. That relationship, job, or arbitrary reward isn’t going to make the world make sense. There’s a silver lining here somewhere, but right now I just feel hurt. Hurt by the reality of what I wanted. Hurt that I’m sitting here still feeling empty.