I can't take this any longer. Life is a just one big punishment and prison.  Just torture. Everyday is torture. I'm bareley holding on. This is going one of which two ways and neither is a good option. I'm tired and I'm weak..I can't stand the idea of being stuck here any longer. I don't want this. I don't want any of it. I don't want to get better. I don't want to live. I just want it to be over. I can't because I'm a coward to live and a coward to die. So I'm trapped in this limbo.  This prison. 

I'm just ranting I do not want support or advice. Thank you.