So it is said, I'm in a steady relationship - 8 years and counting. It's not about status, companionship or feelings, only physical lust. I've heard it all - life's not about that yada yada. 

I've considered prostitutes, many many times. Spent hours browsing through escort sites but never went through with it. The idea of cheating, contributing to human trafficking and getting caught scares me off. 

But the jealousy whenever seeing guys with girls looking like those I lust after is getting worse with the years. The hopelessness that lingers within me that my lust will never be fullfilled is only growing stronger. 

I'm not a morally good person by any stretch. If there were no consequences coming along with resorting to prostitutes I would've done it years and years ago. 

This hopelessness is killing me from the inside. 

Anyone who feels the same and how did/do you deal with it?