i don't know what to do with this illness.i dont know how to live with it, i am suffering. i don't know who i am,
who am i?
what am i? 
i feel like a monster
one day i love you and the next i hate you.
i don't know if i love or hate apple juice?
i know you might think that its just apple juice and who cares; but i do i care.
if i cant tell if i hate or love apple juice how the fuck am i going to know if i love or hate a person how am i supposed to know if its me or if i am just splitting.
i am so confused and tired i just want to die
,please do not tell me to not kill myself i wont i am just saying that i want to i won't i am too scared . idk i am just rambling tell me your experience with bpd