Hi all 
Sorry this is long. 
I recently started dating one of my friends. We both have bpd. A couple days ago, we got into a small fight and now I don’t know what to do. Basically what happened is that I invited her to this antique sale while also inviting two of my other friends (K and B). I told her that they were coming and she said that was fine. I have this other friend (G), tho, who is really good friends with both me and B. My s/o and G do not get along, unfortunately, so I didn’t invite G. B forgot about that. So she invited G. I told my s/o and asked if that was okay and she said yes (it’s been awhile so she’s not as upset at G anymore).
So anyway the time gets closer and then my s/o stops talking to me and I feel like she’s upset so I ask her what’s going on. She says it’s nothing but I kept asking and then she said she was just sad but I could almost feel the sadness radiating off of her so I was getting sad. I asked her again and she told me all the usual things, she feels like she’s annoying and that I don’t really like her, which I reassure her that’s the opposite of true. She then says she doesn’t want to go anymore cuz she finest want to go with people that will “make her feel like trash”. I asked her if I made her feel like trash and she said no. She wouldn’t make eye contact with me and wouldn’t let me hug her so I started to get upset. I went to the bathroom and kinda cried a little. I walked back out and told her that it makes me sad when she doesn’t make eye contact and hug me back with me because then I feel like she doesn’t love me. 
She then said she feels like I don’t care about her feelings or her input and that I make her feel dumb. I was shocked. I love her so much and care about her so much. I will be honest tho, I have. Even having a hard time showing that I care about anything in general right now because I have kind of a lot going on separately from this, including the fact that I just started EMDR. 
Anyway, she then goes on to say she thought it was just going to be me and her going to the sale. To that I told her that I did already let her know that K and B were going to be there. She said she didn’t remember. I then said that she could have told me no when I asked if it was okay for G to come. She then got really defensive and said “Maybe you’ll have fun going, but I don’t think I will”. I told her that she was the one I wanted to go with in the first place because this is exactly something she would want to do. She loves that stuff. So then I asked if she just wanted to go home and she said yes so she got all her things and left. 
I separated myself from that for the rest of the day so I could enjoy my time with my friends. Later that night I tried to talk to her and I told her that I realized she was probably overwhelmed from thinking it was just gonna be us two to having three other people going (even tho I told her about the two) and that we can work on our communication so that this doesn’t happen again. Our conversation wasn’t really going anywhere after a while so I said I was tired and that I was going to bed. She said goodnight and I love you. So I thought everything was gonna be better in the morning. 
Well she didn’t really talk to me for most of the day. When I got off work, I asked if she wanted to FaceTime and she said she didn’t care. I told her to let me know when she was home (she was at the store) and feeling ready to talk. An hour goes by, I haven’t heard anything. It’s been almost two hours so I text her and say, hey did you still want to talk? And she said she didn’t care. She told me I could call. So then I said I told her to let me know when she got home and she didn’t. Then she was like, “next time dont tell me you want to talk if you’re not actually going to. You’re hurting my feelings” I was so confused because I have been explicitly asking her if we can talk and trying to figure out a time. So then I got really upset. I told her all that I just said plus idk why she’s pushing me away. I love her and care about her. I told her I had other things I wanted to talk to her about. Plus I was gonna talk about how I want to prioritize her feelings more and do more of what she wants to do. All she said was “if you wanna talk you can just text me”. I didn’t respond because I was so hurt. I wanted to hurt myself so bad but instead I thought maybe reaching out might help. We are supposed to go on a week long vacation in a few days so i don’t want to make her anymore upset. I want to give her space if she needs it or not. Idk. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.