I’m wondering if you’ll guys can help me gain some insight and internal closure about how things ended with my ex-girlfriend. She’s not received a formal diagnosis but some of her behaviours seem to fit with BPD. 

We dated for four months and had been best friends for a year before. It was my first relationship and the idealization over how attractive/funny/intelligent I was and how I was her “favourite person” felt amazing at the time. 

I was blindsided by the breakup. Just a week before she’d been saying how smug she felt because her friends were all complaining about her boyfriends and she had nothing to complain about. Saying how happy I made her. But then without warning suddenly we were too different, I was too closed off and she felt like second choice to everything in my life. 

I accept I was busy, we both have hectic work schedules and I was studying on top of that at the time so we saw each other around twice per week plus near constant text conversation. I don’t know if me being busy etc triggered some abandonment fears. Do you feel more comfortable in a relationship with someone who you know is pretty much completely focused on you? I really loved her and to me she was a priority, I wish I had made it more obvious. 

I’m looking for some insight on why things might have changed so suddenly in that week? I know this is a common pattern in BPD, I was wondering how it feels for the person with BPD? 

Any help would be great. I just miss my best friend and wish I could understand her better.  