I find that the older I get (in my 30’s) the harder it is to allow people to get close to me. Particularly romantically, but dating is already hard enough already even without past trauma. I’ve had things happen to me in my life that I’ve never told anyone. I push the memories down and try to bury them as much as possible. Can you truly have an emotionally intimate and deep relationship with someone when you keep this whole part of yourself hidden from them? I’ve been in serious relationships with people who have shared really dark and painful things with me. I thought to myself how nice it must feel for them to feel comfortable enough to be able to share those memories but yet I still can’t do it. Even from a really young age I have felt as though I have to deal with my problems by myself. I would like that to change but I wouldn’t even know where to begin to allow someone to help me or to allow myself to lean on someone else.