I'm (27F) very nervous about driving on major highways. I didn't drive a car for the first time until I was 21, due to anxiety, and got my license when I was 24. Now I'm good with side/back roads, and smaller highways/highways that aren't major. I live in NJ and the drivers on the road can be crazy. I still take ubers once in a while and don't miss the days when I used to uber all the time, and still feel like I need to take trains to places an hour or over away. I'm tired of it. I've driven on major highways a few times before and I thought I was going to die any second. I've started to get into meditation, not daily, but working on it. Maybe this can help with my fear? I have to look at Google Maps and look at the roads/directions from the driver's POV sometimes to see what I'd be getting myself into. I just did this for a train station over a half hour away from where I live because I'm thinking of making this drive, and it's on a major highway. My heart was pounding just looking at it on the fucking computer! 

Will I ever beat this?! I'm terrified and so disheartened because I live in a pretty isolated area and I want to go out more and do fun things with my family and friends that live in other parts of the state. I feel like I can beat this fear but it's going to take time and I'm feeling so impatient. I feel like a prisoner in my own mind and it gets to the point of feeling suicidal sometimes. I want so badly to beat this fear but my anxiety controls me and my life and it makes me feel like I'm going to get in a fatal car accident. I hate living like this and meditation might not be enough.