I went through a period of like three years that I had a really bad anxiety disorder and I was diagnosed with Emetophobia (a severe fear of sickness) and Mysophobia (needing to clean/afraid of contamination) and I was in a very bad place, however the last year I got so so much better, I hardly ever had anxiety in my life and everything went back to normal. But recently a family member was put into hospital (they're ok don't worry) and hospitals are one of my triggers. I started WANTING to excessively wash my hands again. 

I have to visit the hospital every day, and after every visit I wash my hands like four times. I feel like I want to relapse again, not completely but start scrubbing until my hands are dry and sore. Like I'm craving that feeling.

Am I faking this?? Can I please have some advice?? Thanks for reading 