I have no idea what’s going on why am I being tortured by god like this… I am suffering from massive PTSD/Anxiety… no appetite, no hope, panic attacks why am I not strong enough to take this

It’s like my heart pumps and pumps and begging for rest but I can’t sleep properly, disturbed sleep waking up sweating and crying silently as I wither away 

My parents can’t bare me to see my like this so I left the house to live elsewhere 

I beg ppl and god to give strength to hold on.

Mental illnesses are no joke, it upends life beyond return