I guess, to try to explain it... 

I'm really not 100% sure about my diagnosis (never been dx'd with a PD because none of the therapists I've seen even get into that/have the experience I guess, but I know I've got tons of traits). I feel like I fit AvPD, but I've also recognized BPD traits in myself too and my mom was diagnosed with it when she was younger. 

The thing is, sometimes I feel like I have a BPD mind but my anxiety stops me from acting on it. Like, I relate to a lot of the mental parts, but I literally don't act on most of it. Like for example, people are too tiring/scary for me to actually go out and have lots of sex or relationships so I don't bother. And I find my extremely sensitive self so embarrassing that I've spent my whole life trying to push it down and not let anyone see it, so I refuse to be clingy. 

I don't know if I have quiet BPD, or if I'm wrong and this is just AvPD and/or a mix of other stuff. I know no one here can diagnose me, I'm just explaining and kinda venting. 


**Anyway**, the reason that brought me to make this thread... I've been thinking, and I'm starting to wonder if I love bomb people without realizing it.


I feel like my *natural* way of being would be somewhat of the clinging, shower-with-compliments type of thing that's love bombing. My anxiety and fear of rejection are so bad though, that I kind of freeze and don't fully act on it. And also the fact that I was aware my emotions were strong from a young age, so I forcefully push them down so I don't embarrass myself/suffer basically. Like

I can't tell if I actually have love bombing tendencies, and just totally didn't realize it because I didn't have bad intentions with it... or if I'm reality I'm fawning and am just convincing myself I'm a love-bomber now