as someone who has been extremely dependent on my gf for almost 2 years now, she has most definitely become the figure I orbit. Every waking hour I spend thinking of her, not in a fantasy way, but in an anxiety provoking, sickening way.
does she still love me?
Is she ghosting me?
did I do someone bad?
whenever she can’t meet me In person, I will feel a gut wrenching fear that she’s grown out of love for me and that I’m on the cusp of being neglected again. It’s debilitating to the extent I won’t leave my bed for days, I won’t wash, I won’t speak, I can’t even manage self regulation at a minimum.
Even her just seeing her friends, I get overthrown by the idea that she will replace me with them, whether they are funnier or kinder or softer than i am. It’s unbearable, and I cant even tell her about it most of the time because I don’t want to scare her or push her away. 

I’m going back to therapy soon lol.