I've lied and cheated my way through life to try and compensate for my deeper insecurities. This has only resulted in my lack of personal development and character. I make poor decisions based on emotions vs. sound logic, which I believe has made me lack intelligence.

I've spent most of my 20s struggling with depression and isolating myself. Also, I rarely consumed knowledge outside of self-help books. Now at 29, I know very little about how the world works or have deep knowledge about any particular topic. Due to how I've lived my life I often don't trust myself or know who I truly am. Often, my thoughts are so consumed with this feeling of deep shame for how I've lived my life thus far and fear that I won't amount to my potential if I don't change.

Has anyone been at a point in their life similar to this and how did you turn it around?

TLDR: I have deep shame for how I am and have maladaptive coping mechanisms that are ruining my life. How did you change?