I have a supportive family, but I feel like talking to people with the same issue is always better, so here I am..

Lately, my anxiety has been through the roof. We just moved from Europe to Hawaii, so I have been unable to get in with a counselor/psychiatrist. I plan on working on that this week. 

Anyway, I feel like anytime something good is coming down the pipeline for me, something tragic will happen. For example, my parents are coming to spend Christmas and New Year with us in December. I am so excited because this is the first time in years that we have been with the family for the holidays. 

Well, now I am convinced I have inflammatory breast cancer and will die before the holidays. I do have some symptoms, but more than likely, they are from PMS or a pulled chest muscle. Still, I had a panic attack last night and was about to go to the ER for this because I knew I needed to be diagnosed immediately if I was going to survive. Before that, I was convinced I had spinal cancer and it was going to take me out. 

I’m so tired of worrying about cancer (one of my biggest fears after watching so many loved ones die from it).