Sometimes it happens randomly and sometimes it happens when I’m under a lot of stress. I don’t remember when it first started to happen but I do know that it’s been happening for awhile. 

I am an extremely emotional person, almost too sensitive. But sometimes my brain shuts off. Like a switch was flipped. I become mean, sadistic (well I’m constantly like that but that’s besides the point), merciless, I lie a lot more (and it already happens uncontrollably), and I do what I can to get to where I want to be even if it means someone gets hurt on the way. 

I don’t have homicidal thoughts besides whatever obsession is happening atm (I have OCD). 

I don’t like it when I detach like that. It’s like my brain just becomes empty and I almost act primally. 

Sometimes it kicks in moments I need emotions the most. Especially the feeling of fear and recognizing danger.


A person attacked me once when I was at school. They tackled me to the ground and started strangling me. I wasn’t scared. I was almost reacting as though it was a game. As I started to lose consciousness I started laughing and squeezed out “kinky” before I passed out. I got lucky as I had made the person strangling me laugh and they slid off of me and walked away. 

I don’t know how to stop it and it scares me. I currently do not have the resources or the money to get a psychologist or a therapist at the moment and I probably won’t be able to for a few years. 

Any ideas or advice to deal with or stop it?