It’s been a week since I last shed a tear,I think it’s the longest I’ve gone this year but I feel like I’m slowly going back into that dark state.I feel like the embodiment of Murphy’s law,everything I do turns into the worst.I wish I brought joy to people but it just feels like I am a burden to others.I’m too big of a pussy to take my life and too big of a pussy to take care of my problems.To be honest I don’t even know how to take care of my problems,it’s been a while since I felt this alone.I have no outlet,most of these thoughts I have to keep to myself,and when I tell someone just a slight bit,they just hear the top of the iceberg.The girl I met a month back moved away which she knew she was going to move but yet she still tried to be my first something,now leaving me.I don’t have someone to fucking talk to and that kills me,sure I have friends but I can’t be truthfully honest to them.I just want to be alone beside a cold river on a misty morning on top of a mountain top so that nobody can bother me