I usually don't talk but tonight I need to. I started self-harming again...
I'm not proud I have a 2 yo and I promised myself to be clean but his dad is driving me insane.
I've been depressed and suicidal for many years and I went many months in hospital for that.

But my boyfriend has been lying to me since the beginning of the relationship...he even cheated on me and I forgave because I love him and maybe I'm an idiot for being this kind. This night argument is the one making me so close to end all of this, all of my suffering. I had a shitty childhood with an alcoholic dad beating me. My brother wanted to kill me because my son would be better without a mother...I recently lost my grandmother who really loved me.

I've had enough. I just want peace...

Please I need help, I don't want my son to be without me but it hurts so bad to be alive