I help whenever and wherever I can. If someone can't afford something and I can I will. I donate to food banks. I help local businesses by sharing their posts to a public page with thousands of followers.

I do so much anonymously and also help friends and family even if it means I end up having to change plans.

All my relationships have been abusive. They have all kept me a secret not wanting people finding out I'm with them. I listen to their troubles, I offer them advise, I encourage them to see friends and ways to improve their situations. I do research into ways they can get help. If they want to talk at midnight I stay awake talking even when I'm exhausted. 

I literally put everyone else before myself, but when the time comes I want someone to talk to, it is as if I don't exist. I get excuses, gaslighted to how its my fault and I should know not to call. 

It's not just intimate relationships, it's work colleagues, friends, family. 

If I try to put boundaries I'm then told I'm being miserable, antisocial, that.i should just look to the future and think positive.

The best thing someone told me, while at work, stressed with more that 2 people's work to do and no help despite asking is "smile it might not ever happen" ... the only thing that happened was my doctor begging to sign me off from work and me having a breakdown. 

Even when people are clearly doing me wrong over and over hate feeling like I have to keep trying with them. I hate this feeling of just wanting to do anything for them just to say thank you or for them to even pretend they care, when I know they don't