Hello! I’ve been dealing with some form of anxiety all my life, I was a scared child who used to panic if I was uncomfortable whether it was being too scared to ride a bike or climb a tree. 
it’s shown up much differently in the last few years where I’ve experienced a few panic attacks which never really used to happen. I struggle with the uncertainty of the unknown and it makes life very difficult sometimes. I had an ok childhood other than the odd bit of bullying or teasing. My teen years were a bit more complex with weight gain, self esteem issues and bad relationships involving me being cheated on a couple of times which led to being hurt, embarrassed and humiliated. Shortly after, my mother had a life altering illness which still has its effects almost 15 years later.
I’ve had to deal with the fear of my mother being ill and being prone to accidents due to her condition. In the first two years of university i think I was suffering from depression as i was incredibly lazy, I barely enjoyed myself and struggled to get up to go to classes, which then led to me failing. In my mid 20s I underwent a “character transformation”, fixing all the things I didn’t like about myself including my image, work ethic and confidence. Looking back at it, the one thing I neglected were those things above that I had to process.

I thought I was ok after this but a few years ago I had my first panic attack at work over a mistake that I made and I haven’t been the same since. This fear of punishment or negative consequences have impacted me from my past. I’ve had more good days than bad however the pandemic and some life events since have meant that there are now more bad days than good. It’s a truly shitty feeling, I’m sure you’ll all agree.

I wouldn’t wish anxiety or depression on my worst enemy. Im working on these problems from my past and I truly hope that those who have read this know that anxiety does not define you and you’re stronger than you think!