I wish I had the guts to kill myself, but then everyone makes me feel guilty about doing it. Then im just too much of a coward to do it. I wish I was a better person. I am so useless, I have no useful skills, I have no future. Im shit at everything. I wont ever get a job pr have a full-filling life. I cant even interact with anyone. Im so afraid of talking to people. They judge me, I cant properly interact with anyone anymore. Im so afraid. I can barely interact 1 on 1 with people online. I used to be able to interact with everyone. Im so stressed with school coming to an end. I need help figuring out my test dates but im afraid of asking for help because its so stupid. I hate New York State, I hate those in charge, I hate school. There is nothing to distract me from the pain, anything I do I judge myself. I hate myself. I miss my old gaming friends... I was such a piece of shit. I just want to go back. Its not fair. My youth years are quickly dwindling away and soon enough I’ll have to grow up... if i make it that far. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I just want it all to stop. I want to go back and play with my old friends. It was the most fun I had ever had in my life. What did I do to have this happen... it’s not fair...