And that is enough to make me consider very seriously if life is worth living

I have a lot of nice things to say about them but overall my last words on my note would probably cut them to the bone if they knew how serious I was about hurting myself

I don’t know what im living for 

The whole point isn’t if I’ve had a good life. Of course I’ve had a good life. But I don’t have access to a good friend who accepts me as I am and my family does sometimes treat me like shit, like I’m someone there to do things for them

I think today is a good day to seriously sit down and ask, since I’m considering killing myself every day now for over a decade, is that genuinely an option that is best for me?

I don’t have the things in life I dreamed of having. I wanted more of everything. My dreams shrink more and more each year and my motivation to achieve them shrink as well. Better to die than live below your own expectations. I don’t see a future where I achieve my goals or find the love I’m looking for.

I’m independent but I’m so alone. I am not strong enough to carry my own weight anymore. I want to feel the drop and pull the trigger and get out before I become something worse than now