I've thought a lot about gun ownership (moreso because 'Merica and I want to keep my home and family safe). 

The thing that scares me about it is I've definitely had really bad episodes where I would have loved to have easy access to a firearm to blow my head off. With that said, I'm working very hard at getting my brain under control.

Are there any other BPD folks that used to feel as though owning a firearm was too risky and got into a position that they felt comfortable?