I've been thinking about my chronic suicidality  

My constant desire to end my life because of the pain my trauma continues to bear on my mind 

And when I get mad and spiral, I always say "I want to die";

But people don't like that

Its not nice to be on the receiving end of suicidal threats and thats what I always bring to the table 

Maybe if I actually *did* die then where wouldn't be anything to complain about 

I am just a burden sadly