So, my fp, if I can still call him that, cut me off/ghosted me after playing with my heart and leading me on for a year 4 months ago. As much as I can acknowledge that he's a terrible person who makes horrible decisions and treats me like disposable garbage, for whatever reason I still can't fucking get over him. I think about him every day and I feel as freshly hurt about it as much as I did the day he removed me from his life. I think the biggest reason why I can't get over this shit is that I don't have a new fp and I desperately want one to get over him but I'm so aggravated with the cycle that comes along with having a fp that I'm horrified of meeting a new one and putting them above all else and being used again. I'm incredibly isolated and lonely and this whole situation complicates and worsens things for me. At my wits end and just want a fresh breath from it all.