We were cooking together, and the food we were making had hot oil in it. I had a tong in my hand, and accidentally flicked it his way and oil got on his chest. He immediately yelped out and I kept apologizing profusely. He was still obviously pissed off, and I got a paper towel with cold water and put it on his chest, trying to calm him down, but he was still upset. Not thinking, I said that I would put it on myself too to make him feel better. He said “no, you wouldn’t” so I ended up doing it once and then I did it again about 3 times before he noticed and pulled me back. 

We talked about it and he said that everything is okay and we are okay, but I still feel embarrassed about it. He looked terrified of me and told me that he was freaked out. I feel ashamed of myself for handling the situation like that, I wasn’t thinking and ended up having a breakdown later that night. I want to go to therapy, but I might not tell him because when I let him know I was thinking about it, he seemed turned off. 

Is there anything I can do to make him more comfortable around me? I feel horrible about my actions and I just want things to be okay. I don’t want him to feel scared of me at least.