(CW: Su****** mentioned) 
Therapy rant....I apologize for the wall of text. I needed to vent.

My T wants to me to have more care since my s****** att***** last week. She is losing her trust in me leaving her office each week  because I'm escalating my s****** behaviors. I don't want to be alive anymore. I have no friends or much of a social life. I guess I have 1 friend but hes alot older than me, so its hard to relate stuff. Its all my fault. Everything is my fault. She was a bit upset how i didnt go to the hospital before I att**** like i said i would.  I really don't want to go to partial hospitalization because I dislike seeing and sharing my issues with others. I had a hard enough time opening up to my current T. Even sharing my att***** was hard. I'm in a deeper depressed stage about my life and all I want is to be done. I even lost my appetite and just want to sleep. Living in envy and jealousy is so depressing. Nothing makes me happy anymore. Being on all these mood stabilizers makes me numb to my emotions....I always tell myself, "It will all be over soon ". I always have to do what makes everyone else happy. Not what makes me happy.

Rant over. Thank you.