This is gonna be probably my last day I'm gonna exist, I've been through so much shit, everyday my sadness gets worse and worse and worse until I can't take it, I can't take it anymore! No one needs me anyways, no one wants me, no one likes me, no one loves me, so what's the point of living


Something happened to me that effected me extremely badly and now as I'm typing this I can't stop drinking alcohol to numb everything I'm feeling, I'm listening to sad music, I don't want help, i don't think anyone can help me, I feel like every single person on the planet hates me even if they're strangers, I feel like everyone wants to go against me regardless of the reasons, everyone wants to make fun of me, I fell for the wrong people and now I'm suffering, at least I'll be with my non-biological grandma now, I'll be with her talking about life and how everything is going, everyday I keep actively dreaming the "perfect" life, having a husband, with 6 cats, living comfortably in my dream house, but I know it'll never happen, I know I'm just a teen and everyone's gonna be like "but you've got so much to look forward to" SHUT THE FUCK UP NO I DONT EVERYTHING IS GOING SO SHIT NO MATTER HOW HAPPY I FEEL, SOMETHING ALWAYS GOES WRONG! WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!


Seriiously what the fuck did I even do to feel this, to get this, to suffer from ptsd, to get sexually assaulted, to get bullied, to get made fun of whatever I do, wherever I am it's like this depression demon is chasing after me just ready to take my soul from this horrid fucking world full of hatred



I'm sorry if this is triggering, I'm fucking sorry, that I fucking exist, I should've never been born, I should've died from that stupid stroke when I was a baby, I should've killed myself years ago when I had the chances well now I'm gonna take it



No one believes me that I'm suffering so much when it doesn't look like it, I've got mascara streaming down my face, all alone, my own family will never understand how I feel, no one will ever understand how shit my life is, I hate myself so much, I hate society, I hate this world and I hate everything and I know I sound so over dramatic and over reacting but I needed to let this out



I don't know how long it's gonna take me to go
Whoever is reading this, I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment, so weak, so vulnerable, so sensitive and so unattractive as fuck I just had enough







I don't wanna do this anymore, Ｉ'ｍ ｓ ｏ ｒ ｒ ｙ