Good news is I’ve been able to keep explosive breakdowns at bay with my partner and family for a good month now. I still have moments but overall I’ve been able to collect myself and move on from strong emotions. It’s really great honestly I am proud of myself in a way. Most of me is just screaming ok but those moments… Anyway. 

Since I’m not acting out on my strong emotions it doesn’t make me feel empowered or anything but just almost powerless. I’m able to recognize the work I put in to help myself of course but I do all of that just so I can feel okay? Not happy kinda sad just eh ok. And I have to work at this what feels like 24/7 it’s just exhausting and afterwards I wanna sleep. It just sucks really.  

My question is should i just accept that this is just how it is for the time being? Is this really how it is to better yourself?