It doesn't feel right. Although it's not new still not used to it 
I heard people's stories and how they feel like they have done nothing and honestly I'm still doing better. But don't know why the feeling is still stuck. Not feeling fitted. Worthless feeling.
I feel like I'm a narcissistic. Cuz I don't know what perception I had about me that whenever I look at my reality it disgusts me. I don't feel like talking about it like there's something preventing me to. Why am I writing it well I don't know. Do I want you to help? Well, yes and no and I honestly don't know how to explain that.