I can't speak to people, I try to listen, but any kind of response I ever make is either weird, disorganized, inappropriate, or just doesn't make sense. I have no friends, I don't go out and when I do, I keep to myself. I feel so lonely and I just want to have a real connection with someone and I physically can't. It's made me so depressed and this has been my life since I was younger. In any social group I've ever been a part of, I'm always picked on, made fun of, I've always been "weird." Please help me. I often wonder if I'm on the spectrum because social interactions are literally a mystery to me, I've had to teach myself how to read body language, and I don't pick up on cues in conversations like if someone is ready to stop talking, or if I'm irritating them. It's debilitating, it's pushed me to the point of suicide many times. what's the point in living if I can't live?