I am struggling to believe that I deserve to be happy and successful. I struggle to believe in my abilities. Growing up I used to take drugs in order to study because it gave me confidence. It made me feel comfortable in own skin and it took away all the trauma. I feel like I'm not good enough. The roots of this belief are deep and painful. It stems from the toxic and shaming messages I grew up with. I am going deep into the roots of it, removing it and affirming my worth. It's tough because it means betraying the abusive people I trauma bonded with. I feel hollow, empty, lonely and hurt. I am grateful that I can air out these emotions and thoughts.