It felt like I was dying I was breathing hard and my heart was pumping fast. I haven’t ate anything for two days only water bc my stomach feels nauseous and I feel like I have a lump in my throat.

My body was getting colder and I felt like I’m fainting, my neck and the muscles behind my ears were hot and i felt like something wants to come out of my ears.

I dont want to feel this anymore, but I don’t know how am I going to get my life straight I’m in a big trouble.I wasted time and i was dependent on my father for so long and now I’m 28 and still no college degree and any job experiences.

I dropped out of college when I was 24 and just isolated myself in my room and haven’t left since, but now I realized how much time has passed I feel so scared, and my brain tells me to harry up and do everything at once or else I’m gonna die, but i can’t do anything when I’m anxious can’t even think straight.

I’m gonna apply for college but it doesn’t open for applications until August
And I know I should look for a job until that time to get some experience, but my fears and anxiety is too much making me scared to do it.

I don’t know what to do, I feel like I need someone to help me or do everything for me bc i can’t do anything by myself, I’m such a loser, I don’t deserve to live but I’m afraid to die because I haven’t lived my life, i isolated myself for a long time and now I feel like I missed out on everything. 

I’m tired, I want to escape my brain, I can’t handle this anymore by myself, but I have no one. 

Please god make this stop.