Im scared to be me. I used to be outgoing, I could talk to anyone, I made friends easily. I dealt with a lot of rough spots over the last ten years and at this point Im scared to even open my mouth to talk to someone. Ive basically become reclusive. I hate going out, Im scared to drink more than 2-3 drinks, Im constantly worrying about all of my actions. I freak out when I realize I let my guard down and start talking to people again. I feel like an empty shell of myself. Lately its gotten really bad. I've been getting by every day taking anxiety medication and even that is barely getting me by. 

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I lost who I am. I tried changing because I was told there was so much wrong with me and now I dont even like who I am anymore. Im not me. Im just some vessel living day to day in constant fear and anxiety. Nothing really helps, nothing really feels good anymore. I wish I didnt lose who I was but I feared losing people. I still lost them. 

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The world feels so empty and it is causing me so much anxiety. No matter what I do, I dont feel good ever. I wish I could find myself again. Ive been trying to find me for so long but I think this is who I am now, empty, nothing left of me but a hollow shell just existing in this world until I die. Its so alone.