**TL;DR** new diagnosis of Pure-O has made me reconsider the abandonment fear criterion; seeking suggestions to help myself with intrusive anxiety

I saw my nurse prescriber yesterday and we had an unusually in-depth talk.  Among other things, she expressed skepticism about me meeting full criteria for BPD, mostly based on the fact that I have, and always have had, very stable long-term relationships romantically, platonically, and with family.  

I told her I've been having sudden, intrusive anxiety, which has happened before and resulted in me being unable to leave the house.  She told me it's OCD, and went down the line of meds I can take for this in light of bipolar, and other meds I've tried for other stuff.

I've been reading about this, and I think my compulsion might be reassurance-seeking.  I realized today that thoughts of something bad happening to my husband make up a large portion of the obsessions  (along with disastrous events in my environment and just a general sense that when I leave the house I've forgotten to do something critically important and something awful will happen, etc).

But when I get those intrusive thoughts about my husband, I tell him that I love him compulsively, because at least if someone bursts into our house and stabs him, or he gets hit by a bus or dies on the train or due to a manhole cover explosion or mass shooting, he'll know that I love him.  I couldn't bear the thought of him dying without me having very recently told him I love him.  It's the only control I have here.

This really throws into question the abandonment fear criterion.  My fear is catastrophe, not abandonment.  So that crosses another symptom I don't have off the list.  I still meet 3 or 4 of the required 5, but it's weird to reconceptualize in this way.

Now to the question: anyone have suggestions for how to help myself with this anxiety?

I'm aware of ACT, so I will be reading some books that I have about coping with anxiety.  

I'm in DBT,  use the skills consistently, I meditate and use mindfulness as much as possible every day, also exercise daily, and I make use of TIPP, paired muscle relaxation, paced breathing, self-soothe, the whole nine.  I take gabapentin 300 mg 3x a day.  I'm scared this is going to end up with me being housebound again, and I really don't want that.