before break my teacher told me that my coworker was only able to stay in advanced class bc she thought i could motivate him to do his work. needless to say i obviously failed at doing so. she has this expectation that i can get him to do well and help him but i just cant. why. why did she have to TELL ME, i didnt want to know she was expecting this of me.    
it isnt any better at work. people keep saying how i cant be trusted and relied upon eventho theres no reason for it. my boss basically told me to not take those people serious but he wants me to take everything else serious. HOW DO U TELL THE DIFFERENCE? oh yeah nice joke to tell someone yeah "ur unreliable, i mean i know ur still a trainee n r learning but fuck u anyway. "  
idek how to feel most of the time. im rather angry or numb. i tried reading a book but i cant focus on anything im reading. dont wanna fall into social media again bc it makes me feel very worse. keep rewatching the same shows on netflix or videos on youtube. i dont even have a single friend or someone to just talk to. im alone. even my will to visit my cats keeps vanishing liek i dont care abt them eventho i love them. just dont know whats going on anymore. writing this is so pathetic...