I had a horrible session today with my therapist. I’ve been having a really hard time lately and sometimes need to see her in an emergency session. She thinks I need something more intensive (at first that was a weekly DBT group, which I am now enrolled in). Or I need to find a new job, because I am perpetually stressed over finances to the point where it’s destroying me. She wants me to consider intensive outpatient or partial inpatient. I did an intensive outpatient once and found it to be of no help. I’m not opposed to either of these ideas but I am not on speaking terms with my parents who financially help me, and I am a single mom with extremely limited help with caring for my daughter, so I don’t have a lot of restrictions when it comes to either of these choice. I also feel someone coerced and like this is an ultimatum, which while my higher self recognizes my emotional regulation skills are pretty much non existent and my finances are dire, and something immediate needs to change. I just cried the whole session, because I am trying so hard and I’m just so sick of my life and poverty and feeling blamed for everything and hating myself. I also don’t want to talk to my parents and I especially feel like doing some hospitalization is proving them right, that I’m just a crazy unstable mess and that my  issues have no relation to the constant stress of trying to do it all on my own (raise my daughter, work full time, stay healthy physically, keep my house clean, have a stable sense of self and emotional regulation) and failing. I’m mostly upset with myself that no matter how hard I try to solve my problems I can’t seem to fix them. And I feel very alone. She also added that her rates will be increasing soon which was like an extra sharp pain to experience while feeling like a thousand needles were hitting my skin all at once. I’m just looking for support, and maybe constructive advice. Thanks for letting me get this out.