im a highschool student who is suffering from mental illnesses that i dont understand. for a while I didnt want help so I would ignore my issues. but it's gotten to a point where I need it. I've been in therapy for 2 years and have still haven't found rest. I recently was open with my pediatrician about everything and I am going to start meeting with specialists soon. I'm worried about meds and what they will do to me. meds are probably in the future for me and I know nothing about them then when I read about them they give me an anxiety attack because I think I will change drastically. I never have used reddit before but I want to reach out to a community who knows something about what I am dealing with. I've talked to my friends but there isn't really a good answer that I've seen. not saying that I'll find one here but just searching for something to hold onto for hope of better days. 2 years ago I was 264 now I'm 152 and strong, I see myself as a much larger guy still. at 15 I was obese and now I'm thin and strong. how can I get out of the cycle of seeing myself as less. I regularly receive compliments from girls but I still see myself as a monster. I suffer from extreme highs and lows where I am crazy or in a depressive state that I can't get out of. in between those to places is where enjoyment is but am the most vulnerable to my emotions sometimes I act on impulse and without thought. I'm not sure that this will do anything but I am looking for advice and help. I've gotten out of my old outlets but still struggle with them time to time when my new outlets stop working. I understand that meds are different for everyone but would u be considered a weaker person for not being able to cope without them?? will I still find enjoyment in spending time with friends and family, working out, playing sports, videogames, photography, skateboarding and guitar?? or is there no way of knowing until I switch myself unto the prescribed medicine that could change me drastically? sorry for the long read, sorry for using your time, I just truly need help