I know there may be many more people who have it worse of than me but i just want to get a few things off my chest because my family wont listen and/or my "friends" are just going to make fun of me for opening up if i tell them, so i turn to the internet where no one knows each other and you can say whatever.

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I just had one of my closet real friends die not to long ago, and i think he was the only one i ever talked about my problems and why i do the things i do. right now i'm just looking for a reason to live because i truly believe he was he only thing keeping me going. without him i feel lost and i just have so much bottled up emotions that i want to keep in check, i hope in the near future i can end it all or find another reason to live.