I know you all understand, I’ve worked so hard recently to be good to everyone around me, but I don’t have anyone left. 

My FP who is as my best friend committed suicide a little over a month ago, and I almost followed through with him. I learn today, after making extensive plans with my gf for our future, informed me that she is now moving over four hours away. I’m not begging her to stay, I want what’s best for her, but I don’t think I can take the loss anymore. I keep distracting myself from all the shit that’s going on in my life only for it to blow up in my face. I don’t want to die. But I just want control over something in my life for once. I can’t take this anymore, and I can’t see a future for myself. I’ve not only lost hope, but every reason to still be here. I’m sorry for whoever reads this, but I don’t think I’m going to be around much longer. I love you guys. I just want you all to know that I know how much it can hurt. I’m ending things tonight. If I can’t get a say in anything else. This is the one thing that I want to be my choice. I’m so sorry. And I’m grateful for everyone that responds, even though I might not respond.