I am so sick of being treated like a piece of trash. Whenever I talk, I’m always ignored, and nobody ever seems to have anything to say. Nobody ever fucking listens to me, nobody ever values what I have to say. Nobody ever lets me speak. Nobody ever asks me to see if I’m okay. I’m always easily replaced and ghosted by people who I thought cared about me. I may be on vacation, but I’m still suicidal. Deep down I still feel the exact same. I just wish I could jump out of the apartment building I’m staying in, but that would be a slap in the face to my family who’s hosting, and I’m in a different country and the procedure I want with my body is heavily condemned over here (cremation) and not to mention I’m just very scared to do it. I just wish something would happen to me while I’m sleeping one day and I just won’t wake up. I can’t take it anymore. I hate being alive. I hate myself. I just wish people would realize that I am not okay.