i saw my psychiatrist today. she said she doesn't know what i have, the symptoms don't match with any diagnosis and she wants me to go to the hospital to get a proper diagnosis. the hospital she mentioned is one i used to work at and i'm kinda scared to meet my old coworkers there.

she also said she wants me to get off my meds because they fuck with my heart and she literally said i could drop dead any minute. so now i have to quit my antidepressant, lower my strattera dose and - the one thing i really don't want - lower olanzapine. i am terrified of lowering my ap because psychosis was a nightmare and i was so glad to have a pill that ended that nightmare. now she wants to take it away from me and i get it, it's dangerous to keep taking all those meds but i'm so scared. idk man. i'll have to do it but i really don't want to.