it's always the worst for me and i know it's seasonal i know this will get better if i hang in there until spring but i'm slowly losing it. 

i know this feeling is fleeting i'll go to bed i'll wake up and forget i even felt this way but right now it fucking physically hurts.

i cant even begin to explain bpd to someone without it. they'll never understand how intense our feelings are unless they experience it themselves. right now everything is aching and i just physically feel like i'm being dragged under water.