And I can’t even tell my mom I need a dentist, she knows I’m struggling with self hygiene like just showering and brushing teeth I’m not even talking about shaving or some skin care routine, I’ve left that long ago as gross as it sounds, not really washing my hair as I don’t go out of the house. No one ever really talks about this stuff. Like teeth turning yellow and breaking also from poor nutrition because we don’t eat enough or just not the right foods. I know she’ll be mad because it costs a lot of money to get it fixed. I’m also partly sure it’s from vomiting caused by bulimia and just drinking too much alcohol. Yea it gives me anxiety but on the other hands I also think of it as not worth fixing because I’ll be gone soon anyways so why waste money. Plus I have to wait 2 months to get admitted to a psych ward, I don’t know how ill last that long. Everything’s just getting harder day by day