I'm sorry for venting but i just need to clear the thorns in my throat..
I have had depression for 3 years now ever since i was 15, I'm 18 now. My father passed away March 26th 2019, ever since then i just feel alone, i do have my family who loves and supports me but very recently i just feel stuck.. i do take antidepressants but i just..they aren't working for me. I'm a daddy's kid so i had a very good bond with my dad even though my parents were divorced. Moving on to my actual venting uh.. i feel trapped you know? I wanna let go, i want to just stop living but i have friends and family and very loving partner that i just- i can't leave them behind. I would feel so miserable if i broke their hearts just because i did something to myself that i k ow i would regret but I'm just so tired! I'm tired..exhausted, I'm choking on ny sobs i just want to stop but i can't! All my friends, family and many kind people I've met..I'll just make them sad if i do that, i feel trapped, chained. I'm climbing up a thread of thorns that are cutting into my palms, i just want to be happy again but I'm not getting that. I want to be free.. I'm sobbing on my bed as I'm writing this and it hurts so much, i don't know what to do. I just..I'm trapped.
Thank you for uh..listening i guess..but i needed to vent like a lot..I'm probably going to cry myself to sleep..