I Met my my wife 4 years ago, in the beginning she told me about her mental health issues, which included chronic depression, bipolar type 2, ptsd, anxiety and neurological brain damage after ECT. She also told me that she was diagnosed with BPD 10 years back in time but the diagnosis was removed by her current psychiatrist.

She told me that she had her mental health issues under control, and she considered herself mentally stable. I was the perfect partner in her eyes for 2 years and we never had a fight. After 2 years we had our first negative interaction, and it wasn’t even a fight. Thing have been getting worse and worse since then, and now she has moved out. Claiming I have ruined her life and that everything is my fault. We have been to 4 couple therapist’s so the the desire to stay a couple has been very high from both sides. The therapists have not helped. In the therapy sessions the therapist asked her what I have done wrong, but she could not stage a single specific thing I did wrong, only that I did not listen to her and that I disagreed with her.

I see clearly signs of BPD in her, but when I say that I believe she is mentally ill, she gets extremely angry. I say this in the most neutral way I can, not in a fight. 

So, my question is; how can I have a romantic relationship with a woman that I believe is mentally ill, that I believe has BPD, but the slightest hint of me telling her I suspect something is wrong triggers an extreme anger?