Help me holy shit. I’m paralyzed by my heart right now, the fear and suffering has me unable to move or think or feel safe. I truly don’t want to be alive right now and I know it will pass but it makes me dread when it will come back even more. I’ve felt like this for way too long , the feelings and defense mechanisms are traumatizing me. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to heal and feel like a person again. so what’s the point? I’m so sick I’m infecting everyone around me. It would be easier to end it now rather than later. I feel so worthless and I don’t know how to talk myself down anymore. I’m just like a helpless child who can’t control their emotions. It hurts so bad and I want to grow up and away from all this pain. when will it end