Recently I’ve been a really bad way. I’ll preface by stating that I’m a 19yo male at college. I’ve been single a while and that lead to some loneliness. 

This lead to a weird time for myself, where I would occasionally look up people to trade my nudes with on kik. I’ve done this for near 2 years and I’d hazard that I’d spend an hour or two doing it every 3 or 4 months. Idk why but I would do it and not think much about it. I feel like a straight man and wouldn’t do anything with a man in real life but it got to the point where I was trading my nudes with other men and jacking off for them. (I should preface this was all 18+ consensual I wasn’t sending unsolicited dick pics to celebs or anything lmao) I feel a lot of shame about it now, and I got a rude wake up call. 

One particular nights at the end of October after some drinking, I got home late and felt particularly frisky, so I redownloaded Kik (I suppose I had some subconscious shame about it because after finishing, I’d delete the app immediately and forget about it) and went to find usernames of people looking to post nudes. After a few of the normal encounters, I get a picture sent of me of a gorgeous woman. After sending them my nudes, it quickly became apparent I was being duped, and I feel confident that they were a sextortion account, who would later attempt to blackmail me for money. I blocked them immediately as soon as I realised. And it really put everything into perspective. **What the actual fuck was I doing?**

Here I am, a normal dude, and I’m sending nude pictures to complete strangers? Since then I’ve felt so much dread and horribleness about it. I looked the bot up and they’ve been active fore years, using some cam-models pics to dupe other men I assume. I feel like such a moron. But that’s not even the thing I feel bad about, I feel bad that I essentially whored myself out for the whole world. I feel so weird and creepy. I remember reading posts in the past of weirdos asking for nudes on kik and would laugh at them, but without realising, I became that weirdo! 

Ive been doomscrolling pretty much every minute since then about people having their nudes scammed and about people being tools with their nudes. I feel like such a gross weirdo. Why the fuck did I ever do this? I don’t even really worry that my nudes will be out there, as my head isn’t in them and they were under a fake name, so the worst part is that I don’t really know why I feel so empty about it inside. I have this irrational feeling that I did something wrong? **My anxiety is literally out of control I ALWAYS think about it and if I’m not thinking about it I am obsessively going through Reddit posts talking about similar situations. I am not this person, I desperately need to get over this and idk what i will do if I can’t.** Everything else that has happened in my life I have felt a level of “that was out of my control” but here, I put myself in the lions pit so to say, and now I feel absolutely fucking awful. I feel so consumed with paranoia and dread about this. Suppose I just needed to get that off my chest. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks if you read it. 

TL;DR - Used to be a online exhibitionist so to speak, and now I feel fuckin awful about it.