Its just me again, repeating the same things again, wishing I was loved, wishing I was happy but at the same time wishing I could erase myself from everyone's memory so I can just disappear.

Its really sad what I've come to be. Don't think anyone expected me to become this cause they simply don't know what had happened to be and how I feel now. But looking back at my life, I think I was set in this path from a young age and I'm not even mad at the people that did this

Its so easy for me to put a fake smile, do stuff to distract me from the world and act like I'm fine, bit at the end of the day my nights always ends the same: I lay in bed feeling sad and lonely, wishing I was loved, wishing I had someone that made me feel like they cared, like I'm important to them, like  I'm their first choice like I matter and after that I just wish I could erase myself from everyone's memory, like I never existed so I could just disappear without hurting anyone

I stop and think to myself sometimes that I could be living a happy life, I could be normal but instead I'm just sad and miserable. It makes my chest hurt 

I just I could erase myself from everyone's memory