Hi guys. I’m having a really hard time with my anxiety right now, probably the worst it’s ever been. I’m in my last semester of grad school and am facing the combined stress of isolation due to classes being online, having to start over my capstone project due to some weird complications that I had, raising a puppy (currently 5 months old), trying to find a job for after graduation, and general anxiety about entering the workforce/being an adult/leaving the nest for real.

TW: parent illness

My anxiety and panic attacks first started in high school when my mom had cancer. She has been in remission for 5 years now but I developed a really deep attachment to her and my separation anxiety got so bad that I couldn’t even spend the night at a friend’s house during that time in high school. I had a hard time when I went to college for the first few weeks, vomiting every morning, nauseous all the time, was taking ativan every day just so I could eat. I eventually adjusted and got into a routine with my classes and was fine all of undergrad more or less.

So now, in my last semester of grad school, I’m facing some pretty colossal life changes soon and a lot of uncertainty about my future. Part of me just wants to move in with my parents and be a baby forever and not deal with the responsibilities and struggles of being an adult :((( I know that sounds stupid but it’s my comfort zone and where I feel most secure. Since the end of January (since coming back to school after winter break) I have been having such a hard time with my anxiety. Barely eating, throwing up every morning (my psychiatrist asked me if I was pregnant.... yikes), constant feeling of dread. I feel like I’m drowning in all these. responsibilities and work piling on top of me. 

The worst part is the morning nausea. Anyone have tips for dealing with this? My doctor just prescribed me 50mg Vistaril to take before bed in hopes that it makes me more relaxed in the morning but I haven’t taken it yet. Let me know if anyone has any coping strategies or has taken this drug before.