After being in therapy for a few months, being asked to move out by my best friend/roommate and spiralling ending up in a suicide attempt a few weeks ago, I have been diagnosed with BPD and been recommended CBT/DBT.
I have mixed emotions. On one hand I am glad to finally be diagnosed and at least be able to even slightly explain my behaviour and feelings over the past few years. On the other hand, I hate that I wasn’t diagnosed earlier, I hate that I let it get so bad that I lost the most important friend I had ever had.
Does anyone have any experience or advice for dealing with losing a close friend because of your BPD? I understand time and space is probably the best but the impulsive, needy part of me wants to send so many messages explaining and apologising. My brain knows it’s a bad idea but it feels like an itch I NEED to scratch and I don’t know what to do.