First of all, let me explain myself.

I'm 24 y.o. some guy from Turkey. I'm a ex military student also pansexual.

Why I'm saying this? Because ex military students viewed as bogeyman in Turkey for the political reasons. I don't have any forensic background but I'm still ticked because of the political Islamist government.

Also I'm a pansexual. In Turkey, Lgbt individuals are not wanted in Turkey. Not wanted for my family, not my people etc.

I've been trying to stand on my own feet since I was 14. I'm studying, I'm working, but It doesn't make any sense in this country.

Anyway' I'm also not a religionist. So I'm just asking myself everytime, why am I living? For what? 

I have a PTSD also chronic anxiety. But i can't get any treatment because turkey's psychological  health system is really shit. If you have any psychological situation, everyone looks you just you crazy. 

As a result, I want to commit suicide. But I don't have the courage.  It's not because the pain.I think about what will happen next. 

So please you dare me. Say logical things.