This is one of the things that I think is so hard for mentally healthy people to understand—if I feel threatened or wronged or offended by someone, my mind simply loses all capacity to remember positive things or to rationalize why someone is behaving the way they are. It’s as if I’m meeting them for the very first time. 

I’m also not able to put anything into context. I process everything people say as a completely isolated thing. 

I’m reluctantly coming to terms with just how poor my memory is and how I can never seem to absorb a clear picture of who someone is.

It literally feels like people are constantly shapeshifting and one minute they’re an angel and another they’re a demon. 

I would seriously classify it as a type of hallucination. 

I realize it’s delusional thinking, but the thing that hurts me the most is that people think I’m just an asshole and that I just like to cause problems. But I certainly don’t.