As the title says, I am looking for advice. I have visited some other forums, and done some reading to learn about BPD, but I was hoping to get some perspectives from people here as well.

Last year I was involved in a long-distance relationship with a woman which was extremely confusing for me. We met online, talked and we seemed to have so much in common. Then she would completely stop talking to me. This happened several times, and initially I had no idea what was happening except that I wanted to pursue this relationship regardless of whatever mistakes were coming between us.

Eventually she revealed to me she had BPD, and when I did some reading about this disorder I felt like all of the confusion I felt finally fell away. Everything made sense then, and I was really happy. Yes, it would be hard navigating a relationship with this woman, especially because we are long distance, but she made me feel happier and more alive than anyone else I've ever met. Of course I wanted to be with her and do my best to help her and improve her life.

Then... I could feel some emotional negativity on her part brewing for some time, but she did not want to open up to me. Eventually after weeks of being distant, she decided she did not want to talk to me again. That was about 3 months ago.

In the time we haven't spoken, I've been busy moving, working a new job, and trying to meet other women. But I still think about this one woman who was so special to me, and wish that she would talk to me again. I don't know what caused her to stop speaking to me, but it's a sadness I feel every day. I want to talk to her again, but I feel like perhaps my presence will just dredge up painful memories for her. I don't know.