I don't know where I should start. I'm not in any dangerous situation or environment at the moment, but I was up until a few months ago.

My problem is that I can't remember the last time I've actually been happy and content. Sometimes, I do have split moments of relief and happiness, where I think "Hey, everything is actually going to be okay" and "Things aren't so bad after all". 
These moments are over as soon as they begin; they don't even last a second. I'm immediately pulled back into reality.

Of course, I do have great, funny moments in my life which I'm thankful for. Still, most of the time I feel monotone, careless and apathetic. Friends and hangouts, good grades, hobbies, whatever...They don't really make me very happy. Nowww I'm rambling and realize this all makes 0 sense when I explain it. 

Last time I've gotten a rush of serotonin was when I bit into a chocolate chip cookie more than a year ago. Yum!