this is going to be weird and convoluted but  does anyone else get to a point where they're not sure what they believe in, enjoy, or feel? 

every time im faced with an extreme emotion or where im supposed to feel an emotion i feel like i'm faking it. i win or achieve something and i know i SHOULD feel happy but don't feel anything in particular. my pet is sick and i know i SHOULD feel sad, and do hypothetically, but don't feel any physical gut reaction towards that feeling. i never get overly excited, i haven't gotten an adrenaline rush in forever. i just feel so hollow and weird like i'm constantly performing for other people even if they aren't around. sometimes i just completely lack sympathy for things that are rationally horrible and wrong.

i generally stand more politically to the left but recently i've been questioning all of my morals and political ideas. what if i'm wrong because i don't know enough? what if the opposing belief is completely rational and moral and i'm some sort of crazy monster anarchist?

it's even down to small things like the food i eat or the music i listen to. i can't even tell what i truly like or am interested in, i feel like i'm manufacturing a fake identity for myself and keep changing it time and time again whenever im presented with a choice. because of this i can't make any real progress on hobbies or goals because i eventually come to the conclusion that this isn't what i really want.

the lines between how i perceive other people/society and myself have just become so blurred as well as depersonalization and derealization that i dont even feel quite real anymore