After 12 years in treatment for depression and still struggling, I'm beginning to wonder if part of my problem is I'm defining my therapeutic options too narrowly. CBT has been helpful, but I'm starting to wonder if the experience of living with depression for the past twenty years has been a "complex" traumatic series, where I can't pinpoint individual traumatic instances but there is nonetheless a legacy left.

I've been listening to "The Body Keeps the Score" on audiobook and I'm finding a lot of what he has to say relevant. Not so much the "events" (he talks primarily about acute trauma such as rape, violence, untimely deaths, etc), but in his describing the body's response to them. I'm wondering if I've failed to identify a major aspect of my mental illness because I haven't been able to pinpoint particular traumatic experiences that give me flashbacks. 

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In particular, the portions about the freeze response, being stuck in behaviors that don't help us, and laying the neural pathways for this response as a default. I'm wondering if I would benefit from EMDR or other trauma-based therapies. CBT and medication have certainly helped, but I wonder if I'm missing a major aspect of what I need to manage this responsibly. 

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The author distinguishes between "top-down" and "bottom-up" theories of healing. CBT is an example of "top-down", where we attempt to influence mental illness through our "higher" logical and reason portions of our brain. So - I have distorted thoughts, and I've been using CBT self-talk to help realign my perception. The various meds I've tried have presented a "bottom-up" approach. They treat the somatic aspects of my illness SO THAT I can better cognitively battle my disease with the rational part of my brain. Bottom-up therapies reduce all-around sensitivty and reactivity. Top-down therapies help us to challenge ourselves when we are being overly reactive or sensitive.

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Depressed people - have you tried EMDR or other  non-pharmacological "bottom-up" therapeutic approaches? I think this may be a missing piece in my treatment.