So this is just a rant, but anyways yesterday my bf stopped responding for a while (which is completely normal he just hadn’t done that in a few days since he hasnt been very busy) and I through he was just home after work as usual. Today he starts sending me videos of him and his friends in denmark which is only 2 hours from me but still - another country. They’re partying and having fun, there are strangers there since it’s a big party and I hear girls in the background. 

This is making me freak out because when I thought he was home he was partying in another country, He hadn’t told me ab this party at all and finding out this way the day after is so hard for me. I get so paranoid and jealous, I imagine him being with some girl those hours he didn’t respond and I don’t know how to cope.He never said goodnight and my brain is convincing me he took a girl home or something. I have my DBT tools but this is just too much, my therapist is on vacation and I have no one to contact. I don’t wanna take it out on him yet I feel so mad and hurt by him and I just wanna make sure he made me feel miserable (as if that ever helped, that’s a part of my bpd I’m really ashamed over ). We regularly go to parties without telling each other since we don’t really care and honestly I just get hurt if I know every single time  he is out partying, but this is different, he went to another country and I had no idea