Three months ago I was seeing a girl in the city for a couple of months and having a really nice time. We both enjoyed each others company and got along well. Being with her I felt very comfortable.

The last time I saw her I was very anxious and in my head for a variety of reasons relating to the relationship and I didn't communicate it well. I didn't want anything serious but was really in my head about where it would go.

We ended up parting ways over text (I initiated the message). I felt like I was never able to express myself and I ruined something I really enjoyed and made it very confusing and weird. I reached out to her too many times to try to explain myself and even a couple of times to meet in person but none of my attempts worked, primarily because I wasn't communicative enough with the closure I was looking for. 

For the past three months I have been constantly thinking about what I wish I had said and what I could still say. It's gotten to the point that my friends had a small intervention with me and are all concerned about my mental well being. 

I still constantly think about it and how I fucked up something nice and left the ending over a series of text messages. It was really anxiety provoking just to text her after we parted ways. I just want to stop thinking about it and come back to reality. 

For greater context, my thoughts felt so out of control after leaving off that they became suicidal and I had to visit the emergency room. This was two months ago. 

I'm not even sure I want to be with this person and don't really believe I was in love but haven't been able to let go of it. It feels ridiculous and I'm not even sad but I can't seem to stop thinking about it. 

At this point, I have contacted her too many times in weak attempts to try to get closure or explain myself that she has made it clear that she does not want to hear from me again. It feels like I missed a moment to be honest and vulnerable with a person I really liked and I've been keeping hope alive that if I were to explain myself I could let it go or maybe get back together but have no way of doing so. 

&amp;#x200B;

If anyone has been in a similar spot, or had anxious, obsessive thoughts that last abnormally long, how did you let them finally go and get unstuck?

Any advice in general or on this situation would be great. I don't know if in person closure is needed or a frontal lobotomy. My brain feels like it's stuck on repeat and I can't seem to let go.