A couple weeks ago i was having a kind of’ ‘high’ where i felt kinda good about myself and i wanted to go out and socialise for once. I made a post asking for friends to do stuff with and one of the girls i never talked to replied and we started talking for a few days and said i could do something on the weekend with her, I realised a little while after that i had almost no money and plan to move soon so said i’ll just messege her when i get some weed in and i could come to her and we smoke up at some point which she was down for. Anyways, i realised i didn’t want to go out with anybody anymore because i’m anxious and disgusting looking (side note: i have body dysmorphia) so i went into a depressive episode and started isolating myself again. i’m extremely bad at replies and i ended up leaving this girl on delivered for 20 hours (most of the time i was sleeping or forcing myself to sleep) and i replied but she didn’t answer but i thought we were still good. 

Today she put on her story saying she wished she had somebody to vent to so i popped up to her saying she could always vent to me if she wanted and i apologised for the late responses and just said that i was smoking and really tired. She sent a lengthy response back saying something along the lines of “Girrrrllllll… you took ages replying back when you could’ve said u weren’t feeling it, i thought you had no WIFI or some shit “

Look, i know the response isn’t bad and i completely understand where she is coming from but it’s made me feel really guilty and shit because i do it with everybody i talk to and ihate hate explaining my mental health because they don’t understand it, think i’m lying or making excuses or just don’t like me for it.