They got fucking asked out by someone I’ve been jealous of for months. They are going on their first fucking date next week and I’m going to be out of town I hate the person they’re going out with. I’ve never even met the person they’re going out with. I’m sick to my stomach. 
I’ve been in love with them for a year. They are my best friend and favorite person. THEY HAVE BPD AND IM THEIR FAVORITE PERSON. I don’t understand why I love them more than they love me. They don’t even care about me. We shouldn’t even be friends it just hurts me so much every time anything happens. I’m so fucking hurt that they said yes to this date. I can’t believe it. They made it seem like they don’t even like this person and all of a sudden they change their mind and act all excited to go to some fucking cafe. I COULDVE TAKEN YOU THERE. I know everything about you, I love you so much I can’t believe you’ve chosen someone else over me. I’ve been crying for hours. You probably hate me and realize I’m a fucking worthless baby and you’re gonna get cooler friends and leave me. I’ve been scared of this for months. Months I’ve been having dreams and thoughts that you’d replace me and find cooler people to hang out with. I just thought I’d have more time to be someone you’d like more. I thought I could change myself to be a cooler person so you wouldn’t need anyone but me. I’m an unsuccessful manipulator and i know I’m horrible but I want you all for myself. I thought I was safe since I’m your only friend. I’m in shock and I’m devastated and I don’t know what to do. I leave for vacation tomorrow and you’re gonna go on a date while I’m gone and have your first kiss and fall in love and it’s not gonna be with me. I wish I couldve taken you with me. I just wanna die and stop feeling these horrible emotions.

I told myself if you ever start dating someone who isn’t me I’d just be happy for you because I want you to be happy more than anything else but I can’t do that. I’m so upset at you and I despise your date.