As I sit here by the fire, listening to sad music. In a slightly messy 600k house. It’s a gorgeous home, but I’m still sad. Each of the 2 ex wives tried their best. But it’s just core to who I am. 

I don’t know why I am the way I am. I take 5 different medications trying to pick up the slack. They help but only for their own little thing. Not for the overall sadness. 

I have everything. Mainly because I’m so sad. I worked so hard to make my life as good as possible to combat this. It didn’t help. 

A great job. A house everyone loves. A car that makes people stop to talk about it. 

The sad little emo kid grew up. He worked hard to get everything to make himself seem like a stable adult. It’s just smokescreens…