I'm planning to take escitalopram that was prescribed to me, I was supposed to take it few months ago but I decided not to because I'm scared of what could happen to my liver, I read articles that it might cause something bad to my liver, I was diagnosed of non-alcoholic fatty liver disease 7 years ago, I was overweight back then, I lost a lot of weight but I'm still living a sedentary lifestyle and I still feel uneasy taking medications because of that. Sometimes I'm considering of just focusing changing my lifestyle and do meditations, but I can't find motivation, and my mind is always distracted with all types of fears, I hate myself, I wish I didn't make bad decisions long time ago, maybe all these things wouldn't have happened if only I listened to my parents, I'm so full of regrets and frustrations in life, I also can't stop smoking cigarettes. I feel like trying to change my life would be too late, I'm so envious of other people with the same age as me, they look so happy compared to me, this is why I'm avoiding social media so much which just feeds my anxiety and my depression more, it's like I'm in a loop of hell.