It’s been probably about a year since i’ve had any real friends and i miss having people to talk to but i also enjoy the amount of personal time i have. I don’t have to worry about constantly talking to them and replying to messages or spending time with them. I feel like every now and then i need some time alone but i just end up ghosting them and the longer i wait the harder it is to get back in touch, as well as my social anxiety getting worse because i have less practice talking to people.

Is this a bpd thing? it feels very bpd but i’m undiagnosed of course so i’m not really sure