I’m 20 years old and I’ve had mood swings on and off for years now, nothing that would last too long (the smallest things would trigger me so i’d go from happy, to mad, to happy again all within the same day) but almost 2 months ago I had what my Dr describes as a manic episode. I did a lot of reckless things: went on holidays all by myself, spent most of my savings on I’m not even sure what, had unprotected sex with a bunch of strangers and ended up getting an std (treatable at the very least), tried drugs and it all ended up with me trying to kill myself. 

I’ve lost my job (I took paid leave during that time and then never went back), I will most likely fail all my university classes and I’m essentially broke. 

I’m currently in therapy and my family has been extremely supportive, but I’m scared about what will happen in the future. What if I have another episode and no one notices? I’m supposed to switch medications because the one I’m currently taking is causing me too many side effects, but what if I don’t find one that will work for me? I feel like I’m losing my mind all the time AND i can’t tell what’s normal anymore, I’m scared of doing the same things I did during my episode 

I’m not even sure what the point of this post is… some advice or similar experiences would be appreciated tho, thank you if you’ve read this far and sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language (and I’m on my phone currently)