So my boyfriend told me yesterday night that he has plans for today's night that don't include me. He sort of implied that his plans were with flaky people and that he'd like to get back to me and hang out with me as we always do if they cancelled the plans at the last minute.

My reaction:

I told him that I wasn't going to be waiting on him as his second choice and organizing my free day around the whims of someone else, as Saturday nights are my favorite moment of the week and I had been looking forward to do something to relax after my difficult week at work. I took out my phone and made plans with my friends. 

Then I told my boyfriend that I'd wished he had told me about his plans before in order to plan my day accordingly - since we always see each other on Saturdays, I had wrongly assumed we'd hang out today and was excited about it. If he had told me that he had other plans before, I would have organized myself accordingly.

Then I kept on talking and said that when my friends invite me somewhere on the days and times I usually see my boyfriend, I am always sure to check with him and see if he didn't have anything planned for the day and try to figure out something out that works for all of us. But he, on the other hand, always accepts other people's plans even if we had agreed on some activity together beforehand.

And THEN my abandonment issues reared their ugly head and I started anxiously asking stuff such as: "And what when you get your new job and we'd only be able to see each other on weekends and we make plans and then your friends want to see you agree and call off our plans and you leave me to see them? What will happen then?"

Then I left to the bathroom to gather my thoughts and calm myself down.

Aftermath:

So I screwed up my chances of discussing what I don't felt comfortable about in the relationship because I went on a rant and now this will become a touchy topic. My partner is my priority. I would expect to be his as well. I think it's only logical when you're in a committed relationship discussing about your future as a couple and all that, and still not live together. I mean, you've gotta make time to see each other!

(By the way, I just remembered about a time when he told me about his answer to an interview question ("Where do you see yourself in 20 years?"). His answer didn't include me at all, but it included his friends, the ones who are always cancelling plans and abandoning him. But of course, they say they want to MAYBE hang out with him and he drops me and all our plans for them...)