I almost exclusively play old games. i check old streetview images of the places i have been and grew up in. I spend hours using the wayback machine website so i can roleplay as my old self. I watch tv commercials from those times. I visit old looking parts of my city with a big boner. It's not like something traumatic had happened after those times but i still can't stop from chasing that nostalgia high where i feel overwhelmed with a feeling similar to that of i felt back then, for half a second. I want the past decade to be a wild wandering of my imagination rather than reality.


It feels like after those years im obsessively looking back now, i have lost my identity. I don't behave like how i would, but how i should. I am avoiding anything challenging to my current situation to the point where i have a video open on another screen while im typing this so i don't get a second of silence where i have to form thoughts. Does anyone else here experience this ? Thanks.