For context i have never been diagnosed with anything yet i have so much hate towards myself but not too other people but when i do say stuff to other people i do not actually mean it, therapy sessions are not going well my therapist is super patient with me she is trying to help me but i lash out randomly and regret it later 

The other week i ended up in a police station for a threat against an elderly man he accidently tripped me with his foot and i in the heat of the moment i said " i will fucking shoot you asshole" in my native language.

I was never charged with anything but since that day i only go outside to see my therapist i am basically under my control in house arrest.