This is my first post on this sub so please don’t eat me alive! So I have been diagnosed BPD for about 6 years, and I have been pretty much in denial about it until the past 2-3. I know it’s there. I go through all of the things, but I also am fucking fantastic at managing them, for a certain amount of time. I can fake it all for months, but only when I get into a new relationship. I am the best, the sexiest, the funniest and the happiest person you’ve ever met. You can’t resist me because I become exactly what you want. But when that ‘honeymoon stage’ wears off after so long and you don’t want me constantly clinging to you, every. Single. Thing. You do. Is an insult to me. And I fucking become a nightmare. I got engaged and almost fucking blew it because of my raging. So I promised my fiancé that I would get help. I don’t want to be like this, and I don’t want to throw this all away. I’m managing again, which is a huge deal for me being this far into a relationship and having gone through the turmoil and still coming out on the other side, but I still wonder constantly, does the recovery really happen? Is there anyone out there who has felt like a shell of a human for so long and now feels complete after going through therapy? Does anyone ever find that person inside of themselves that they’re meant to be?