I’ve said on a previous post so will keep this short as I can.  I grew up in a toxic household.  Very very toxic. I moved out last year to move with my dad.  I’m now 20, I moved into my own place 2 weeks ago.  I’m happy with it. But I’m not happy.  This is all I wanted.  To move away from my toxic household.  And now I have it.  I’m not happy.  My younger siblings live in said toxic house still And I just rarely get to see them.  Their dad thought it’d be nice to bring them round and i just feel so weird.  I can’t explain it.  I miss being at my old house.  Even though it was absolute hell.  I’m getting home sick it’s weird. 

I’m also just feeling super depressed.  I’m trying to eat right, exercise, socialise. I’m really trying.  But no matter what, I feel depressed.  I’m never happy.  I could want 100 things.  Get them all and still be miserable.  I’ve just had a bad life.  Just constant negativity since birth.  It’s exhausting.  I can’t explain this feeling.   But I feel trapped and exhausted.