I’m undiagnosed, it’s been just under 2 months I’ve been trying to get proper help through the NHS. 2 weeks ago I had an awful “assessment “ which was basically to tick a box, dismiss me and stop me from pestering them for the help that I need, after that there was no more my GP could do for me. It was very clear that they don’t want to help and definitely don’t want to diagnose, at the end of it I was sign posted to an imaginary group, I was told about an emotional regulation group Changes do so the next day I ring Changes and they’d never heard of it. I know the NHS is underfunded but the treatment I got off these “mental health professionals” was disgusting. 

I keep thinking to myself why do I have to spend my money that I’ve saved up for an illness that isn’t my fault. It doesn’t help that I’ve been in hospital for physical illness and had to have two different types of surgery, the recovery for BPD isn’t quite as simple, quick or cheap. I’ve been off work for 2 months, I don’t feel stable enough to go back but I might have to so I have money coming in again though I do have savings, my savings were for the future but lately I don’t see a future for me because of the BPD. Also a years worth of that money was me dragging myself to work, putting on an act that I was fine when I just wanted to stay home.

I feel quite lost and without any guidance. When I google therapists in my area nearly all of them come up as counsellors, doesn’t that mean they’re not as qualified to help with something as serious and complex as BPD? I’m not sure what qualifications I should be looking for. I don’t live in a major city so there isn’t much to choose from and I think I’d prefer face to face, a phone call or video call seems odd. 

Then there’s going private to see a psychiatrist which will cost a lot, I feel like I need a diagnosis but it’s a lot of money and I don’t know what happens after. Does it help to get a diagnosis first before therapy or can I tell the person I highly suspect I have BPD if I go to therapy before?

It feels like I’ve just been left alone to figure this out for myself when I have no clue how to go about it, so I’d appreciate it if anyone could give me some advice and tell me about your experience. Before my energy got drained I did start the DBT work book but never picked it back up because I started it when I thought I’d have therapy to give me the boost to work through it.