me: “i'm too much of a burden on you”

friends: “you’re not we love you”

family: “you’re not we love you”

love of my life: “i know. bye.”

I moved 6 hours away from my friends and family, otherwise known as my only support systems. 
This Summer I was supposed to be moving in with my ex-boyfriend. We were planning it for years.
Then, he disappeared. He moved back to his hometown. Started dating his ex-girlfriend he dated for 1 month in the 8th grade, years and years ago. Cut off all contact with me, didn't tell me a thing, other than "I'm sorry."

I moved to get away from that town. In July, I could barely get out of bed. When I did, everywhere I went gave me constant memories. I couldn't leave the house without crying. I hated myself on behalf of the people around me.
I'm now living with a roommate. She's the only person I know in this town. I'm okay with that. I'm doing fairly well being on my own, adulting for the first time. I'm surprised I'm not heavily in debt. 

I just wish he spoke to me.

He was the only person I ever truly felt love for. But I could not express it.  I lied to him. I was always irritable. But I loved him. He took care of me no matter what crazy shit happened in my life. No matter how many mental breakdowns I had. No matter what. 
I guess the constant, "I love you, don't leave me" was too much for him. So, he left. All those years for nothing. 

I don't know how to cope. When things went wrong in my life, I went to him.

It's been 4 over months. I am still so empty, just like right after I got his text message. 
How do I cope? How do I become at least somewhat okay again?