So today I(M19) saw a post of my friend on Instagram, and it was of her and my cousin.  I had no idea they knew each other.  It got me nervous.  Me and my cousin haven't spoken in years,  so to her in still the dorky, loser she's unfortunate enough to be related to. But I've gotten better at hiding parts of myself since the last time I  saw her. I've learned how to be likeable and how to feel wanted.  I'm afraid that my cousin will tell my friend about the loser I really am, and I'll lose her.

I always feel like this. I live in a pretty small city,  where everyone knows everyone. I cringe at the fact that everyone has a different view of who I am, and none of them are correct. I get anxious and stressed when I think about the fact that I'm unlikely to be who I was meant to be when I'm surrounded by people who think they know who I am, and there is nothing I can do to stop them from gossiping.