I’m so sick of hating myself. I want human connection but my self-protective mode makes me keep everyone at arm’s length. I’ve always picked terrible, unavailable partners and though I’ve been on my own for the past year (healing from a relationship that broke my spirit and soul), the idea of trying to make a connection with someone new sounds both terrifying and repulsive. 

I can’t even be normal or comfortable with my own family, I feel so much shame about myself in a deep way that no amount of therapy or meds has been able to ease. 

Just so tired of it all.