I'm in constant fear and my paranoia is extreme.  I have some health issues I'm suppose to be monitoring and I haven't been able to.  I don't want to die. But it feels like my brain and body are giving up on me. My mental health won't let me take care of myself.  I wish I were normal again.  I want my life back so bad. I'm heartbroken.  I feel like nobody can help or even truly wants to. All i have is my husband and poor man has his own list of worries.  I love him so much. I wanted a better life with him.  I got sick 2 years ago.