I have done horrible things. The main one is having sexually assaulted someone who used to be my friend. I used them, and I hurt them, and I don't deserve to forgive myself for that.

I verbally assaulted my ex. I let my temper get the better of me and yelled and screamed and insulted her over the phone. I had my reasons, but they don't excuse what I did. 

I want to apologise for these things, and I have. But apologising won't make them better. I'm getting counseling, but I've hurt people, and I can't unhurt them. 

I don't deserve to forgive myself.