I’ve recently been doing some reading and researching about BPD and am pretty sure I have it (ik, ik) I’m not self diagnosing but I have like every other mental illness thanks to parental trauma and I have a lot of the symptoms. I’ll be meeting with my psych in a couple days to discuss. Anyways, that aside, here’s my problem. After speaking extensively with a trauma therapist, she and I are both pretty sure that my mom’s behavior towards me my entire life is pretty textbook BPD with some narc tendencies. I won’t get into details because that could be a whole book but my mom has been emotionally and verbally abusive my entire life and I’m finally no contact with her. I spent most of my life priding myself that I would never be like her, and never turn into her, and never treat my kids/people the way that she does. But now that I know I probably have BPD too, I feel... angry I guess?? I feel like I’m now doomed to carry a lot of her shittiness on with me. Obviously I’m actually handling it and getting the help I need and am far more educated and emotionally/mentally stable and healthy than she is, all of which I pride myself on and is the only guaranteed fact I have that I’m not a monster. Nonetheless, I’m pissed that she’s done/given this clusterfuck of an illness to me and I’m pissed she’s the example I’ve had my whole life of what it looks like and does to people. I’m ngl I’ve spent years of my life viewing and seeing people with BPD as mean, delusional, pitiful people all because the only BPD I was exposed to was my demonic, abhorrent mother who never sought treatment or management and never bothered to believe there was ANYTHING wrong with her. Anyone else been through something similar or have an abusive parent with BPD you’re trying to avoid becoming?