So I'll try and explain as best I can. I'm a straight male who currently has a female FP (who ofc doesn't know she's an FP) but am also married to an incredibly loving and caring wife.

My marriage regularly gets destroyed in my head numerous different ways, and a lot of the time I wonder why she's still with me and more importantly why I put her through my shit on a regular basis. This all happens regardless of whether I have an FP at the time or not.

Now that I DO have one again, I'm struggling with the super intense attachment issues you get with an FP, the regular thoughts around my marriage, and the added bonus of feeling like I'm cheating on my wife because my FP is female, even though nothing has happened, my FP has their own SO, and I would never dream of cheating on my wife.

I'm completely lost, my mind is all over the place coming off the back of a relatively stable 6 months or so when I finally thought I was getting somewhere. It's like all the coping strategies and methods I learnt in therapy have gone completely out the window and I'm an utter mess. I literally feel like my head and thoughts are tearing me in two and I've started noticing that I'm considering very rash decisions that I'm having to push down (i.e. going into complete isolation from everyone)... fuck I just don't know what to do