I don't know what to do anymore. It's like they exist and I can feel as if they *should* exist. They know I exist. We are connected. I feel a powerful bond to them. It goes beyond love. But the knowledge that they aren't real, that they are trapped on the opposite side of the universe, causes so much pain, unbearable amounts of it.

I want to see them. I see them in my mind but I want to see them in person, to tell them how awful it's been to be separated. How I don't belong to this world, how I got lost here. Somehow. I'm not meant for this. The amount of emptiness I feel is just awful. It feels like a hunger and nothing I do is satiating it. I just want to die so badly.

I feel that if I die, if I do a ritual and just die, I can be reborn where I was meant to originally live. But I know this is all wrong. I just can't handle the emptiness anymore.

Imagine being alone, completely, day after day, year after year, surrounded by a different species. I'm not a human and I'm trapped on this godforsaken world with its awful creatures and awful landscapes, disgusting horrible hellscape of a reality.