I have always struggled with depression but recently it has gotten a lot worse. I have these repeating thoughts in my head telling me that I will never be enough, that I’m not ever going to do good enough in school or be good enough for my family and girlfriend. As much as I hate to put it in words, I feel like a burden. All I ever do is complain and I feel like I’m just a pain in the ass to my family who I basically leach off of for gas money. I really do love my family and I hope they know that. I constantly have thoughts telling me my family thinks I’m just using them and it hurts. I know they probably don’t think that but I just want them to be proud of me. I feel like I’m in constant agony. I wake up every day, get high and then repeat. I can barely wake up for my classes and I feel like I have no friends. The friends that I do have I feel like secretly don’t like me. I feel so fucking alone. I miss when the little things made me happy. When going on a hike and exploring was enough to make me feel something. But now it feels like the world is so big yet so small. Big in the sense that I am absolutely insignificant in the grand scheme of things and small in the sense that everything is repetitive and meaningless. No matter what people say, I feel like I’m going through this by myself. I’m afraid that if I don’t get better I may one day not want to be here