i feel as if a hole has been punched through my chest. everywhere i am, you are not. the word lonely doesn’t even cover what i feel. i feel like i’ve been ripped away from my life source, my oxygen. i’m fighting for breath. i feel isolated. i just want to crawl into your arms and let you hold me. i know i can’t go back. i’m bad for you and you’re bad for me.  but if we’re so toxic, why does the absence of you feel like a stab wound? blood is pulsing out, spilling all over the floor. i’m bleeding out without you, i cant take it anymore. why cant i leave? why cant i stay away? it hurts… it hurts so bad. being without you is like torture. i never want to be without you. being with you hurts, but being without you is worse. it feels like the world is crashing down on top of me, raining debris all over me. I love you, I hate you. I need you, I miss you. I cant fucking stand you, stay close to me.