I have found this happening to me with a game I’ve played recently. I’m addicted to the idea of a particular character in the game; almost as if he’s my FP, but obviously can’t be as it’s not a real person. I’ve been addicted to playing the game, reading fanfiction related to the game, etc. I’ve had this happen to me a lot in the past to varying degrees; perhaps the most intense wave of it was when I tweeted an entire letter explaining how I was still alive because of this guy to the celebrity who played the character in the TV show that I was obsessed with. 

I can’t figure out whether I am simply trying to escape reality in a sense by engrossing myself in these fake worlds, or if I am looking for something in these characters/celebrities that I strongly desire but don’t have? Perhaps a personality trait? Affection? I’m in a relationship  and quite happy, so if the latter is the case, I think I may be even more confused by all this! 

If anyone has any insight at all into this, I would really appreciate it. I’m starting to feel very insecure with myself and I’m almost isolating in a sense to avoid talking about all of it.  