I need to let this out because it’s embarrassing and I want to know if anyone’s been through this, even if it’s not extreme. A lot of people talk about gaining weight on psych meds, and I’m on one of the worst culprits (seroquel). It began a major eating disorder. 

I am ravenous on this drug, and I can’t seem to satisfy it. I binge consistently. I had no issue in my relationship with food until I knew I would be craving at night. 

At first, I stopped buying snack food. Eventually I cut out meat, dairy, bread, everything other than produce so that I do not have access to it past 9pm when I take the drug.

I still binge on it, even with a totally empty fridge. I will have nothing but uncooked tofu and cauliflower in the fridge, and I will find something. I have eaten spoonfuls of flour, hot sauce, expired food and I’m embarrassed to admit I have stolen snack foods from my roommates. I wake up with crumbs in my bed and I sob. I restrict myself throughout the day and engage in intense workouts to prepare. 

I am in therapy and working with an NP who are aware and still believe it is in my best treatment to stay on the medication. I have tried to taper against medical advice, and I agree with them. I agree that my mania is controlled best with this drug. I feel that it is a trade off I constantly debate- mania or an ed