TL;DR: I need encouraging words to leave my boyfriend of 5 years. 

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years. We’re insanely close and actually best friends. There’s so much context I wish I could provide but I’d be typing for days. 

Long story short, I’m 26 with a 12yr old child that resulted from a rape when I was very young. That man and I are no longer together (since 10yrs ago) and he’s not involved in my child’s life at all. My son, current boyfriend, and I all recently moved in together 2 years ago. They get along great and have never had any issues. Recently though my boyfriend has started making remarks about my child. Small things like “he forgot to wash his plate”. Eventually it started feeling weird. He started being aggressive with his body language while saying things like “WHO LEFT THIS HERE?!”  Like, what do you mean WHO? There’s only two possibilities… me or my son. Which if it was my son, why the fuck are you talking in that tone? I always said I would never be a fucking idiot mother who lets a boyfriend/stepfather treat their child wrong. I spoke with him and I told him his tone and body language make me feel as if he’s trying to intimidate us. He keeps apologizing and saying next time he’ll deal with me directly but he keeps doing it. I’ve had to stop him before and tell him to watch his mouth before he says anything he will regret (the threat being me leaving). I’m very protective against my son to the point where I ask my bf not to talk shirtless around my son or to knock before he ever enters my son’s room. I’m a SA survivor so you can see why I’m this way. My bf hasn’t mistreated my son though. He actually does a lot for my son and my son constantly tells me how much he loves my bf and how he’s also grateful for him and that I better never break up with him. Us three are so close and often that comes with us being comfortable around each other. Farting around each other, “roasting” each other, etc.

Here’s my situation. My son roasted my bfs crocs today via our group chat. We were all home at the time (yes we text each other when we’re in other rooms lol) and I went to the living room to roast my bf some more about his crocs. It wasn’t even hurtful jokes just like “omg he spent money on jitbits haha”. He yelled at me “LEAVE ME ALONE. DONT FUCKING START WITH ME. YOU AND YOUR SMART ASS KID!” My kid was in his room at the time playing video games so I don’t think he heard. 

That to me was a boundary that I always said no person could ever cross. I can deal with emotional abuse and gaslighting that he’s done in the past, but not this. No if, ands, or butts. 

I’m terrified of being on my own with my son. So many people look down on me already because of my age and have put so much doubt in me. I think I’m an excellent fucking mom actually!

I need encouraging words to leave my boyfriend of 5 years. This is beyond repair and I cannot accept this. Right? Am I wrong??? Am I being irrational? Because I feel incredibly betrayed.