We got along so well at first. I told him I'm a virgin due to years of depression but even physically, I eventually opened up to him. But then he texts me he has had the feeling of us not being compatible after all. And it's because I did the same things I always do. Become too attached and expressing how I like someone. Backed off when I noticed he was becoming overwhelmed but it was too late at that point already. I can pinpoint the exact text messages I sent after which he wasn't feeling it anymore. I know it's so cliché but I really feel so unlovable. I hate the way my brain works and how I always do too much and try work against the inevitable BECAUSE I am so scared of losing someone even when I just got to know him. And then it backfires. I hate it I hate it. I hate how frustrated I am about it and I hate how people can get over me like nothing. I need a male figure in my life, always. And even when I know we aren't even compatible either my brain is set on him before I know it. And then I fuck it up and hate myself for being me and self harm and look for the next guy to obsess over so the cycle repeats. Ughhh.