When I turned 16 I told myself if I wasn't happy at 18 I would commit. 

When I turned 18 I told myself if I wasn't happy at 21 I would commit. 

I turned 21 a month ago and I spent the day alone and cried.

The only reason I haven't done it yet is because I love my family. but they are one of the main reasons why I feel the way that I do. Things just keep getting worse at home. Me leaving is not an option yet since I'm still at school (where I commute everyday because I am a first generation daughter and I was begged not to leave for university, biggest regret ever) My parents are divorced and both households are an emotional mess.

I haven't been happy in years. I cannot feel anything unless I cry until I can't cry anymore.

I don't know how much more I have left to give.

I'm giving myself until I'm 25. We'll see this time.