i got diagnosed last week, i expected it but now i feel like i only got diagnosed bc i suspected i had it and that i am actually not borderline. I feel like i dont split? But im not sure,,a week and a half ago i did something that made my bf upset, “disappointed”, i felt like i did nothing wrong but i knew he would probably be upset , i wanna say i knew he would be upset but idk if i knew or not honestly, i think i did but did i ignore it?? Anyway he was upset and it was just all bad, he needed space but i needed him, i needed him to know i needed him, i dont think thats splitting but i got sidetracked, a few other times i just think he doesnt care about me and did i meet up with my ex just to make him upset ? Why did i do it? What are examples of splitting,,, i usually want to act out when i feel alone but try to turn that inwards bc i dont want to hurt him like i have other people (we still kinda new, i have tried to jump out of moving cars, spammed from new numbers after being broken up with to try to make them come back, thrown things, hit someone, threatened suicide) but also i cant imagine anything when im like this, i have journal entries where im so angry and distrustful of my bf that i just ended up scribbling i couldnt even write,,, i am just so lost and confused i cant keep anything straight