I'm envious of those intelligent, socially savy people around me. Those people who can balance uni work and working all at the same time. Whereas, I fail everything I try, mess up my lab procedures so many times in one session and irritate my TA and people around me in general. And unlike them, I'm not even working part time. I feel fatigued just interacting with people and being around them. I can't even hold a conversation. Everyone's laughing together at each others jokes, but when I try to make conversation, the mood isn't as lively.

Other people can function so well, even with so little sleep. Yet, I can get easily fatigued if I don't sleep before 11pm. I fatigue just from being in evening labs until 5PM and from just being with people. I don't know how I am to survive the coming semester. I've tried working on myself before and staying optimistic, but it always ends like this somehow. 

I question the meaning of my existence when there are so many talented people out there who can do what I do a million times better and more.

Sorry for the long rant, but I felt I had to get this off me.