This shelter in place we have going on is really bringing out the worst in me. I’m fighting with my family everyday, bad arguments I’m screaming cussing telling my family I want to kill myself and honestly it’s the truth. I feel myself falling apart everyday. I hate living at home, I wish I was more grateful but I’m so unhappy here. Our house is falling apart my parents are neglecting their dog and being home is just the biggest reminder of all my childhood trauma and my abusive relationship. I live in the most expensive city in California and moving out just isn’t an option. I feel like I’m going to either end up on the streets or killing myself. I can’t deal with the shame of how I act but being here brings it out of me. I act like a toddler, I throw temper tantrums, I know the neighbors can hear. I’m humiliated being me, I have no hope. I am not good at school, and I can’t work full time. I am scared to have a relationship with anyone because I don’t want them to see me at my worst. I don’t know how to have hope anymore.