i’m in such a bad place mentally that i don’t feel safe being alone sometimes. i’ve been dealing with depression &amp; anxiety since middle school. it’s only gotten worse for me after being in an abusive relationship with a narcissist who killed my self esteem. i’m back in my shitty hometown in iowa. i got out of this dump when i was 16 &amp; moved to big city in Texas but due to covid i moved back temporarily. i’ve just been dealing with a lot of shit &amp; im not the girl i used to be. i feel so alone &amp; suicidal but i don’t wanna kill myself. i just want the pain to end &amp; have peace in my mind again. i’m trying to fix my life &amp; get the outta this dump. but i hate how lonely i am. i only have like 1 friend here &amp; im barely getting to know her. i try to keep myself busy by going to the gym but i’m such a lonely loser. sometimes i wish i had somebody who loved me cause i barely love myself