So I have completely run out of patience with my bi-polar ass. I would literally whoop my ass if I could, but life isn't fight club and socking yourself in the face doesn't help much. So my rage has been spilling out into my daily life. Today I tried to fight a guy hanging out of the passenger side window of my dad's car because he said something stupid. He deserved it tbh, but I straight had no control over my self. I wasn't even using words i was just screaming in his face and trying to punch his car, while.my dad was trying to grab me, and basically tore the shirt off my back. I'm a grown ass man, I'm gonna get shot by the police or something else worse is gonna happen, like I'm gonna hurt someone else. I dont know where it even came from. I just switched. 
What sucks the most is that this whole thing has just made me angrier at myself. And I'm n0t even mad at anyone else. It's my fault I dont have my "mental illness" in check. Idk what to do. It's like everything else with this bi polar bullshit, it just makes itself worse. It's scary too because I haven't had anger issues since I was like 13 I worked really hard to get that in check when I was a kid.