It all started three years ago when my FP at the time ghosted me, which completely destroyed me for a very long time. During that time, it felt like my friends who I had known since high school were making fun of me more and more. Now, this is how guys normally act to their friends, but something felt… off. Keep in mind, I didn’t know I was borderline at the time. It just kept going and going until I finally asked them to stop on October 1st. One of them simply said (paraphrased) “the jokes aren’t the problem.”

This, coupled with the fact they had met up the previous weekend without telling me, broke me even further, and I left the group chat on the spot. The one who said that gave a half-hearted apology, and another one reached out too. Then promptly called me a coward for not immediately responding.

A year and a half later, I eventually reached out again, apologizing for how I acted. Problem is, I was manic at the time, so the warm reception I initially got was quickly replaced with a cold shoulder because I kept saying a bunch of insane things repeatedly. Now they don’t want to talk to me.

Even though they were mean to me, I miss them dearly. I still don’t know if I made the right call to leave.