Hi! (21F/BP2) I definitely don’t fit the criteria of Body Dysmorphic Disorder, but I’m curious as to if anyone has a shared experience? 

When I’m in a depressive episode, I see myself as probably ~30 pounds heavier than I am, my flaws are magnified, etc. Probably see myself as like a 3 (lol), especially going to bars and seeing other pretty/skinny girls. I justify not technically losing weight on the scale by thinking I’m losing muscle and gaining fat. A good chunk of time is spent thinking about and criticizing my appearance/weight, but not to the extent of someone with diagnosable BDD. I’m not particularly obsessive about particular flaws, but more as a whole. Like, I definitely know which parts of myself I’d like to change, but my mentality is more about looking better in general. I have intrusive thoughts about restricting food but they’re relatively ignorable/it hasn’t been too much of an issue. 

In hypomania, most of that goes away and I have almost a narcissistic body image. I’ll walk into the room thinking I’m literally a 10, dress more show-y, etc. My body in the mirror tends to line up with what I see in pictures, esp compared to when I’m in a depressive episode. 

I think part of this also stems from the more ~sedentary lifestyle~ that comes with depressive episodes. Also, for context lol, my family tends to value appearances much more than others would (they’d never ever intentionally say something negative about mine) but it definitely stuck with me.

Totally adds up with my BD, just curious if anyone else (esp girls my age) experiences this.

TL;DR– Depressive episodes make me think I’m overweight but hypomanic episodes make me either see myself more accurately or make me think I’m the hottest person in the room lmao