When I actually properly think about the fact that one day I won’t be in my brain anymore and everyone I know will also cease to exist, it brings on a panic attack and I feel totally sick to my stomach so I usually avoid thinking about it. But at the same time every day multiple times a day I think “I wish I were dead” or “I wanna kill myself”, or just wish something would happen to me so I don’t have to make the decision myself. 



Does anyone else go through a similar thing? I feel so alone and like I’m going to forever