I don’t know if this is even the place to talk about this but it’s really bugging me and has been for so long.

There’s certain things that REALLY trigger me. Certain like feelings of touch like slime if i get it on my hands i start to feel hot and bothered and i start to get really angry and stress out and sometimes cry. It’s the same with when children touch me, for some reason say if my cousin (he’s like 7?) and my younger one tug my clothes i’ll have a full melt down and start panicking and crying and feel the need to take whatever they touched off and wash it asap. If it’s my skin i’ll wash the part of my body with soap/soap and water or spray perfume but that doesn’t always work it’s just something that somehow works sometimes.

I’ve found recently sometimes makeup does it too, my aunt did my makeup she put fountation on which i’ve worn before but i’m really specific on what i like, i don’t like to try new things and when she was doing it i was fine but after when i saw it (it was amazing) but it felt so heavy on my face and i started getting shaky and panicky and i felt really sick, as soon as i got home i was scrubbing trying to get it off and it was hard to get off and i just started feeling angry and just having an entire meltdown and i hit myself.

Sometimes when i feel really stressed out and overwhelmed and stuff, not caused by anything physical touching me it could be out of the blue or something happening that emotionally effects me i hit myself aswell and i get really frustrated and shaken.

In both emotional and physical instances i feel like my whole body is tingling and i feel like i need to shake the tingle out and i just feel disgusting. It’s exhausting.