I’m really going through it right now and was considering possible suicide methods (I don’t have any immediate plans it’s just nice to feel like I have an out) I have this voice in my head that keeps telling me I’m a coward for not choosing something more painful. I know that’s ridiculous. I mean who would want a painful death? 

My brain keeps going oh look at you too scared and useless to face life, and you’re scared of a little pain too? You’re gonna bring your family so much emotional pain and you can’t even face some physical pain. Samurais in Japan used to cut their abdomens open and you’re scared of hanging yourself? What a little bitch.