Sorry if this post is long and hard to read, I’m really upset right now and I’ll probably end up deleting this anyway.   My therapist has told me to try to set certain boundaries to help deal with my anxiety.  I’ve discussed this at length with her, and she helped me come up with a few things that I didn’t think would be that big of a deal.  One of these boundaries is asking my boyfriend to not fall asleep at my house without it being like, a planned occurrence.  Because when he falls asleep, he’s very difficult to wake up and he gets angry (even if I’m waking him up at the time he’s asked). I get a lot of anxiety about it because I don’t want to deal with the inevitable fight that comes from him having to wake up.  He thinks this boundary is ridiculous and a joke and basically refuses to respect it.  Tonight this resulted in him yelling at me that I’m being ridiculous and absurd because I asked him not to fall asleep.  

What am I supposed to do?  I’m trying to do what my therapist asks so I can try to get better, but then I get berated for it.  I have similar issues with my mom disrespecting boundaries I try to set too.  I’ve tried to explain to him that when he crosses the line I’m trying to set, that it takes me back to when I was a little kid and my abusive dad had zero respect for my boundaries. He doesn’t seem to care, at least not in the moment when he’s mad at me.  When he’s calm and in a good mood he’s so patient with me and helps me so much, it’s like he’s a different person when he gets mad at me for stuff like this.  I’ve been trying really hard to be better lately but get no credit for the things I’m doing that he knows are hard for me (grocery shopping, driving, making appointments) and if I have one setback it’s like the whole world is over.  Any advice on how to deal?  He’s really not a bad person, and usually is so kind and understanding of my issues. I just don’t know what to do when he gets mad at me for doing something my therapist tells me to do as homework.  I end up shutting down, crying, panicking as he yells and eventually leaves.