i’m 19 and so lonely and tired. it’s ok i don’t have friends i guess, i’m busy with school and my job anyway. i see everyone else with their friends and boyfriends and i used to be filled with raging jealousy but now i’ve just accepted i’ll never have that

i just want someone to love me. someone i love who wants me in their life. even friends. i have a best friend who i’ve been so close with since i was like 10 but mid high school she got a boyfriend and other friends and i didn’t see much of her anymore. i still see her and talk to her often, but i long to feel that little smile and “god i love my friends” feeling in my heart

a year ago i met a guy. we were so close and i thought he was the one. he set aside hours to talk to me every single day and i did the same. he led me on. i went with it cause i had never been in a relationship before and didn’t know how this shit was supposed to work. he said he only wanted to keep me around and never loved me and lied. wanted the lonely quiet girl to feel like somebody loved her and use her to play to his own advantage. i’m disgusted, everything i thought about him was a lie. i’m quite plain looking as well, not ugly, but nothing special. i will never find someone who i love who also loves me

i don’t know what’s wrong for me but human interaction just sounds exhausting at this point. i spend all my time in my room studying, relaxing, or daydreaming about a feeling that i haven’t felt in a long time. all my love has been stomped out and i feel like an empty void and so numb. i guess it’s better than always pain like i used to be but i just want to be happy and love people again. family, friends, and i want someone special but everyone good is taken or has no interest in a girl like me. i want to just be able to love and believe it’s actually real, but it’s not. at least for me