This is mainly just a venting post but any interaction with my parents automatically irritates me and any time they try to call me or text me I’m just annoyed straight away even if they’re not even doing anything other than just wanting to talk to me, and it makes me feel really guilty that I feel this way.

Just for some context I’m 25 and have been living away from them since I was 18 when I went to uni abroad. I’ve had a very rough relationship with both of them growing up, especially with my dad who is a narcissist and caused me a lot of trauma as a kid and a teenager, and my mom is a major pushover and doormat and she basically let him emotionally abuse me and my brother growing up and never stood up for us. Our relationship hasn’t gotten better over time per se, but it’s been easier since I’ve stopped living with them and I’ve enjoyed the distance between us and not having to interact with them as much. I don’t miss them at all which I know sounds bad, but I have zero desire to talk to them.

A year ago they’ve moved abroad to the same city I’m now living in and I hate it. I much preferred it when we lived in different countries and I hate that they’re now so close to where I live. They always want to see me and do things with me and I rarely see them because I just have no desire to spend any time with them, for which they never fail to guilt trip me but I just can’t force myself to want to be around them when I really don’t enjoy spending time with them. It’s a chore. We have nothing in common, we don’t get on, they don’t understand me and barely know the person I am today and whenever I’m with them it just feels so superficial and fake.

I hate it when they text me or call me, I automatically get annoyed and irritated with them and I know they’re not actually doing anything to warrant me feeling like that I just can’t help it and it makes me feel like a bad person. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’d love nothing more than to be close to my family like some people are, and to have parents I actually get on with and enjoy being with, I’m so jealous of those people but unfortunately that’s just never gonna be me and my family and I’ve accepted that. After years and years of being upset about it and yearning for that when I was younger I’ve now accepted that my parents and I will just never be close and it’s better when we keep our distance. I just wish they stopped trying to force it because all it does is annoy me and get me wound up.