Hi all - my brother is married to a woman who I think has delusional disorder. Right from the beginning there were problems. Linda was convinced my brother was cheating on him with anyone and everyone. With his cousin, a neighbor, random people in the movie theater, a restaurant, someone on the subway etc etc. As a result she would force him to be on the phone all day (even at work) and monitor all of his activity, receipts etc. She would call his friends, his manager, border security etc to check on him.

Her paranoia extends to other things too. Germs, 2nd hand clothing, modern medicine, food tampering, being monitored/spied on. She doesnt have any friends. None. She said her coworkers were talking about her behind her back. She said her ex husband is a pedophile and cheated on her. 

My brother wanted to divorce her but she got pregnant. He said she would coerce him into sex because if he wasnt interested, she would berate him about infidelity.  For the longest time he felt her behaviour was due to trauma in her last marriage and being treated badly.

Because she is coherent and all of the obsessions are plausible. She is able to have a job and together they have a child. She doesnt believe she has a problem.

Our family politely and quietly observe these behaviours but keep quiet to avoid any conflict. However an increasingly uncomfortable aspect is how their child, josie,is being raised. 

Josie is always kept close by her mom's side. She isnt allowed to do most regular things like play at the park. Her mom is always telling us grimly that josie is sick with something. The flu, has a fever, a cold whatever, usually as a justification to keep josie away from any sort of fun. She taKes the child's temperature every day. Josie has been rushed to the ER so many times due to some symptoms her mom has been alarmed by. 

There are other things too. Like any gift for josie is either unopened or kept at home because of some percieved issue. Like new sneakers kept at home  because a classmate or teacher might steal them. 

But the thing that is really difficult is that josie is spoon fed every meal in large portions. The portion size is absurd. And the child is forced to sit there looking miserable while the mom continuously feeds her and whispers things in her ear. I heard her say the word "waste". I dont know what  this is about because I haven't come across any info about this type of behaviour in delusional disorder! I told my brother and he said he has stepped in when the mom has hit the child during mealtime but he just thinks she is old fashioned and being overly mothering. She is 7! 

I am worried about what life is really like for her at home. My brother has mentally checked out. He knows his wife has a problem but sometimes he also seems to believe some of her paranoid ideas. He took her to two doctors who both said she was in fine health. They saw a marriage counselor briefly but that didnt go anywhere either. My brother said the doctors and the counselor just thought they were having compatibility issues.  I think because she presents herself well but also she is tricky and deceptive. 

So please please tell me what I can do to support my neice as she grows up. This post isnt really about getting my sister in law into therapy or getting a formal diagnosis or whatever. It is more about what I should do to help my niece and what to keep an eye out for. Thanks everyone.