Killing myself after I wake up

I’ll be overdosing on my ADHD meds. If that doesn’t kill me it would at least inflict enough pain that I’ll be happy to jump off the window

It’s late at night here, I’ll be taking lots of melatonin whenever I wake up because I want to stay asleep as long as possible.

All my mental illnesses win. I can’t take this anymore.I’m fucking sick of fighting against myself and constantly failing.From my past records it’s implausible that I’ll ever succeed. Ending it seems like the only way to stop the failure and resulting pain 

I’ve taken 18mg of melatonin.It won’t kill me or cause any severe issues but It’ll keep me asleep for as long as possible.I’ll probably keep consuming more the rest of the day.Then while my parents are sleeping I’ll just end it.It’s not like they even cared about me while I’m alive lol.There’s no hurry though,I need to ensure that I succeed in committing  sucide.This must to be the one thing that I do right.I

I feel like scratching my arm with a knife over and over.I’ve never done it because I’ve always been a pussy but maybe I’ll try it out before utilising the window.I’ve already lost myself;I’m now dead inside;I’ll soon end this vessel too:)