I just finished up my first year in college and it’s been one of the worst years of my life. My depression and anxiety has gotten increasingly worse and I have suicidal thoughts almost everyday. I still live with my parents and the first week of summer I am grounded my boyfriend lives and hour  away and I can’t see him and now I can’t even see any of my friends to keep my mind off things. I’m afraid of myself and what I might do to myself I’m trying to get help and take my medication but nothing ever seems to help anymore my parents are disappointed and mad at me and I feel like a complete failure. Most of the times I think I would be better off dead