I want to clarify that I currently am in therapy. It's kind of inconsistent because it's so hard to get appts. Anyway, I really need to heal my anxious attachment issues not only for myself but for my best friend who has patiently dealt with my anxiety and I am very grateful for. 

The last 6 months have been really eye opening for me because I've become incredibly self aware of my problems. I've realized I'm terrified of abandonment, I've coped with these fears my entire life by completely shutting down and subconsciously refusing to care about anyone and I push people away when I become afraid. It's been horribly overwhelming but I've learned a lot about myself and the last three months or so I've been working really hard to understanding what triggers me and strategies to take in those triggers as triggers and not totally freaking the fuck out on the spot. 

I've been practicing a lot of self care too and learning how to love myself and things are still really hard. But I'm working to confront my fears and my triggers and even forcing myself to recall painful memories in an attempt to rewire my brain to see them as painful memories that live in the past and can no longer hurt me today. I do the same with my anxieties surrounding the future by reminding myself that those are just anxieties. 

Anyway, I've been doing a lot to try to bring together the anxious attachment brain vs emotion disconnect and internal self work. I still have a lot of moments where I realized I ask for too much reassurance and my friend actually brought that to my attention and I plan to attack that next by analyzing whether or not my intuitions are driven by actual hurt feelings or hurt feelings as a result of insecurity. 

Tldr: I'm doing a lot of self work without therapy but is it possible that I could get the bulk of that healing done without a therapist? (Currently have a therapist but I'm really new to it and have only gone once so I haven't seen the true overarching benefits yet)