hello all. Im rarely on reddit so I dont know the ropes well, please bare with me, this will be a long post but i'll try to shorten it as much as I can.   
 When I first met my boyfriend (about 7 years ago), I knew he had anger issues and \*highly\* suspected he had Aspergers. I wont go into details but he has many symptoms of it. He would lose his temper and rant and rave but then get over it and feel terrible about it later.   
One thing I always knew, in this entire time, is that he would never ever get violent.   


When I met him he had just gotten out of a relationship and gotten kicked out of his home so he was complaining a lot, really emotional and talking about how wronged he was. He had a reason to feel that way so I never questioned it. He ended up losing his job and the rent was raised where he lived so I told him he could move in with me . His anger/complaining/feeling sorry for himself never stopped but he'd sometimes come up with new things to worry about. It was annoying, but, doable.   
   
A few years ago he developed some medical issues. He tested positive for something (dont wanna say what as I dont wanna make this post recognizable, anymore than it is) and has had several scans and MRIS since, trying to pinpoint the location of his problem. No scan was able to locate any issues or cause so doctors began to suspect the test he took was tainted and wanted him to retake it.   
He absolutely refused, saying he already proved he had a real medical issue and shouldnt have to retake any type of test ..and has been unbearable ever since.   


He has turned somewhat violent..I wont go into details on that either but I am constantly covered in bruises. He will wake me up out of a dead sleep on top of me screaming about something I said 2 or 3 days ago that either hurt his feelings or that he took wrong (I am not an instigator, I dont say things on purpose to hurt his feelings) ..after a violent outburst and he has calmed down he will remember things COMPLETELY wrong to the point where he forgets he was on top of me screaming me awake out of a sound sleep to where he is somehow the victim and I \*fought\* him..so he reacted like anyone would.  There are often times when days after an incident I will show him a bruise he left me and he will absolutely freak out, crying, wailing, not remembering he did it but feeling so terrible about it and promising he wont do it again but it happens again ..and again.   
 This is not the man I met and it took him 6 years to turn this bad ..I feel so torn and so stupid because it's like I am loving 2 different men.. when he is calm and normal he is so sweet and so caring.. when he's what i call Manic , he thinks the entire world is against him, that he is somehow \*always\* the victim and that  the rest of the world is wrong and he's right..he'll insist I dont love him even though I do everything for him ..it's just exhausting.  I feel like I would have given up a long time ago but he has nowhere else to go, no means of supporting himself and has burned every bridge he's ever had..so I feel like kicking him out would be dooming him to die.   
 

There have been 4 different people now (2 who have met him, 2 who were going based on a description of his personality) who have thought he was schizophrenic ..I assume bipolar ..what does this sound like? He is absolutely adamant that he has no mental illness and I know I'll reach my breaking point eventually ..just when i think about dumping the awful person who does and says such terrible things to me, I remember the gentle sweet soul who kisses my hand and forehead and is soft spoken and gentle ..im not kidding when I say its like 2 entirely different people .  


Im sorry again, I know this is a long winded rant ..if you made it this far I applaud you , and thank you for even bothering to read through my nonsense   


TLDR: Boyfriend started off sweet but with a short fuse, never violent..after 6 years and an undiagnosed medical issue..turned violent, manic, and paranoid, and i am old and tired, and out of ideas.