Lately Ive been really fucking up my life. I just feel like I cannot handle life anymore. I cannot get on time at work no matter what i try. Ive been late for weeks and people start complaining.

I lost my therapist and have to wait at least 10 weeks for a new one.

My parents told me on christmas day they want me out of the house. Then 2 days later they went on holiday for 6 weeks and then on new years eve my sister got a seisure. 

It was induced by her anti depressants so now she has to cut back on those. Meaning she will get severely depressed and cannot take care of her son. And with my parents gone they cannot help her either so I will have to help. But I already feel like such a wreck.

I started smoking weed again because I cannot deal with all of this.

Fuck this dissease man I cannot handle this :(