Hello, and thanks for clicking. 

So I started dating a girl about 7 months ago, so now we're slowly getting into that phase where our truer selves starts to show, and I'm also in the military and stationed across the US. Start off by saying:
     I love this woman tremendously, and I know she loves me just as much.


My problem is, along with the new time difference (am currently on a mission further away from her. )and the distance between us, we've been running into alot of snags. We're both upset and distraught at the situation, but we're trying. I'm in the military and have been for a long time, so it's like a part of life for me. 

     I try to be very understanding and supportive for her because I know it's hard, but anytime I try and help her or give her tips or anything she just gets frustrated and shuts down. 


    This morning I gave her the "I can't control everything that happens to me, but i can control how I react to it." And she took that as "Dont be sad? Why didnt i think of that?" And blew up and said basically a bunch of pity party and stuff that was supposed to make me feel guilty and was just overall toxic. 

Now in a normal relationship I tend to back myself up in an argument, but with her I've made it a point to either use my kiddie gloves or have just altogether backed down. (Not that i believe arguments are a competitive thing, I just try and make my point.) 
  
     Anyways, with her I've pretty much let her walk all over me when shes upset because I don't want her to do anything to her or feel any type of negative way because I genuinely don't think she can handle it. 

   We had one argument where I was trying very hard to emphasize that I thought she was still a good person and that I am not trying to make her feel shitty and I was convinced she was going to kill herself afterwards. 

   I'm at my wits end here, I can't let her keep trying to guilt trip me anytime she deems it necessary, or constantly feel like I'm walking on egg shells. I am starting to feel like I'm trapped because of her, and I'm not sure if it's her or the illness and I'm trying to be understanding but I can't continuously keep doing shit like this. 

   Any one have any sort of advice or perspective? If it wasn't for her already established illness, I would have taken these red flags and bailed. But I don't want her to live a life where it's dominated by her mental illness and I know that I can be the man she deserves, but her demons keep spitting in my face.