I really try to think that it's not the end of the world if I fail, so I don't have to panic at the disco. Even when I don't cry or have a PA I still  puke a lot and it feels that I do not let that feelings go away by "let it be" mentality,I just collect them to nuke me in the future. I am so sure when I fail all my demons are going to beat the shit out of me.

"I be saying "It is what it is" then be crying and throwing up for a whole week" 

P. S. English is not my native language, sorry for mistakes.

P.P.S. Not venting on people who are trying to be positive, but have you seen our current system that we are living in? These system does not let people go easily  after "failure". Indivual's value is more complex then sets of rules created by society or even by individual himself. It is something that is so hard to value that can not be so primitive 

Yes person is always above his achievements. Individual life is more than sets of achievements but nonetheless we are not living in a right world. Dammit why when I am anxious I am thinking about creating a new system in which every person could prosper instead of doing the things I have to do. I hate myself. 
Nobody is going to read this soooo. I am waiting for AT season 4 part 2. Isayama is genius. He really inspires me.