Hey, so I'd like to start by saying I'm not diagnosed with BPD. Initially diagnosed Bipolar with my psychiatrist wondering if I have BPD instead / as well (unsure of the comorbidity aspect on my part) so I hope it's okay to post here. 

I recently got into a relationship with a lovely person, who is very sweet and kind. They were/are my favorite person. At least emotionally that's how I've grown to interact with them. But I've been hiding my mood swings and emotional outbursts best I can in fear of them responding badly like most people do. It tends to feel like people like me when I'm hyper involved in them and caring about them, but once I'm no longer just this sponge for them they lose interest.

Now, I know that's a bad mindset as partners are supposed to be there for each other, so I talked about some things that have me depressed and worried lately. I didn't get a thorough response which has made me feel bad for expressing myself. I know this is most likely me being really in my own head, them not responding how in depth I do makes me feel dumb for being open and super vulnerable. That said I've fought my mini spiral best I can as they also are dealing with a busy schedule, and they aren't as verbose as I am to say the least lol.i think I've handled it okay in terms of communication, expressing thanks and how I love them and getting the same in return.

I guess what I want to know is, how do I soothe myself? It's been hard not feeling bad about talking about this to them. I'm sure I'll feel worse making this post, but it feels like I don't deserve to express negative feelings? And that I'll push them away or they'll leave me once they realize I'm a person and not this super supportive always happy caricature of a human. How do I handle getting better at asking for the care I need and also dealing with my own emotional peaks and troughs when I don't get that? Sorry for this long post. I just don't have anywhere else to turn to