When I was a sophomore in high school, I had a friend that I knew struggled with mental health issues and had tried to commit suicide before. We were pretty school a couple of years before and he was one of the first people that I opened up to about some of my own problems.

Well, he ended up successfully killing himself. I’ve told 2 people about what happened but I’ve never relayed the fact that there is a serious guilt that I’ve been living with since. Even if I didn’t do anything wrong, I feel like a shitty person for not doing anything about it and it is honestly one of the largest reasons for my own depression. 

When I went to something (I don’t remember what it’s called. It’s not a funeral) but it was an open casket. My mom was close with his mom and my mom told me that my friends last wishes were that he wanted to see his friends again. But I couldn’t bring myself to go up and look at his face to tell him that I was sorry and I wish he didn’t leave like that. 

I’ve never gone into detail about it but it is my biggest regret and I’ve felt like shit for the past couple years.