I never realised before tonight. I knew I was a bit down in my early teens, but bits have been kind of blurry. I listened to a Linkin park tonight and I burst in to years for the first time in .. As long as I can remember. I'm 40.

It all can't back. I decided to take my life. 14 years old. I had the rope, I knew what to do, but the thing that was bugging me was that the people (basically the world) that really afflicted the pain wouldn't be the ones punished. I didn't hate my parents. So I decided to get into fights, I got into talks with school psychologists, made all kind of trouble... I just wanted someone to ask me what was wrong. When I got applications for school in my town, I just wrote "put me in a separate class from my twin brother". Just as a strange scream for help.

I was placed in another class. Nobody asked why. My sister never asked me if anything was wrong. My brother never asked me if anything was wrong. No friend asked. Not my parents. Nobody cared. And as time passed, I never asked the questions either.