So tonight me and my girlfriend have to go over to my parents house and spend the night there. The reason, weeks back when I was feeling good mentally before I got stuck in the panic cycle again, I agreed to go on a day trip to an island off the coast with my family. Normally i’d be so hyped, but when I am in one of these episodes of panic attacks and constant anxiety, I just cant think straight or enjoy much. 

Tonight scares me because I wont be in my own bed, I wont have my cat to cuddle with, my parents don’t let me and my girlfriend sleep in the same bed because we aren’t married and they are religious. Just the change in routine tonight has me even more anxious than usual, and anxiety has been crippling lately as it is. 

I’ll be okay though. I get to be with my mom, who also suffers from crippling anxiety. We can bond over that since we understand each other. 

I am totally dooming it up in my head though. If I can survive the night, I know i’ll be fine on the day trip tomorrow. Hardest part will he waking up early tomorrow. I have been waking up around noon and tomorrow I have to wake up at like 7.