I have a very distorted sense of identity as we all probably do. Smoke and mirrors is what I like to call it so as a I’m trans as a result. 

My biggest struggle has been with names. Not in picking names, choosing names. I’ve always had like 4-8 in a list that I’d send to my friends and have a vote on my name. I’ve done this 3 times. I think I did it to make sure no one was left out and everyone’s thoughts were considered before I made a choice. I do it with a lot of things. That’s why I never do those Pros and Cons in DBT because I take it way too far

But this time I didn’t do that. I wasn’t even thinking about changing my name. I just zoned and thought “this is your name now” without anyone’s input or approval. And it feels kinda good