I tried suicide in 1990. I was 20. I saw what it did to my folks. I was devastated. I decided to live as long as my folks lived. 
My dad died October 25, 2021. I was devastated. . I now feel like I have 1 foot in the grave. I’m only surviving because of my mom. When she dies, well I don’t know what’s gonna happen.  I wish I had something to live for. I’m single, never married and no kids. I never even planned for a future.