After I got covid this year, my mental health took a turn for the worse and I can't bounce back and overcome severe depression and anxiety. I've been working very hard to try to fix it. I take my meds every day, I eat healthily and nutritiously, I try to go out and see friends when I can, I try to go outside and take walks to get some sun and exercise, I have hobbies that are fun and help distract me. 

Yet... Its been almost 3 months of this and I'm still incredibly depressed and unmotivated. I'm out of money and need to work but I have severe anxiety about rejoining my former industry and I dont wage to be a wage slave for at max 15 an hour. 

I have both a psychiatrist and therapist. I know I really need to talk to the psychiatrist but I have a week or so to see her. She can be a dick tho and makes me hesitant to share some things. My therapist knows what going on but idk how helpful she really is.

I don't know. I just know that I'm trying so hard. I don't know why it has to be so difficult. I don't know why I have to be "productive" to be deemed worthy of existing.

I don't want to prove anything or justify anything about myself. I just want time, space, and the opportunity to heal. 

I wish it were easier for us.

Thank you for reading, I hope you are well