I want to stop splitting so damn bad. It's just so exhausting on me and I know its exhausting for my fiance. I feel like I know when I'm about to split because I get super happy and I say the stupidest things around him. I tell myself, "don't get bad again, just remember this moment and how happy you're feeling". Or I question myself, wondering how I ever get in a bad state to begin with when I'm feeling so happy and full of joy at that moment. But then the next day, I'm easily irritated with my finance and everything just seems so annoying and hard. Then I get so angry, because it just feels like a never ending cycle of me battling myself and tearing myself apart in the inside.