Bit of history first. I am 28f, diagnosed bpd when I was 21. But received no help til I was 25. Did 1.5 years of dbt and I am accountable and knowledgeable about the things I do wrong. I was kicked out of dbt because I was ill (glandular fever) and missed a few weeks. I live in a shit area in the uk and cant get back into my program. I take paroxetine but it doesn't do anything.
 
In the past I have always been very isolated I like to be alone. I like to take things out on myself rather than others. I am a severe self harmer in recovery. 

But the past month + I have been having intrusive thoughts about hurting other people physically. I dream about it and it's all I think about during the day. I can't escape my mind. I have tried all the things I was taught but nothing helps. I don't ever want to hurt anyone else. But I am scared because some days it's so hard to escape. 
 
I am so worried I might do something awful to the people I care about. I don't know what to do. Or if I should tell someone? I don't really have a support structure. I was doing so much better but now I feel like... I don't even know. 

Does anyone else have this problem?