Hi everyone,

I (26M) posted here the other day describing my hypomanic symptoms. Met with a psychiatrist who said I have bipolar disorder. I recently went thru a breakup which, along with PhD stress from qualifying exam prep, sent me into a hypomanic episode. My ex claims I was verbally abusive, and while I dont think thats quite the case (I know I am inherently biased, but I really never called her horrible names or anything...I had plenty of opportunities to given the toxicity of the relationship), but regardless, I feel pretty shitty now. I have been blocked on everything, and while hypomanic I sent her an email describing my symptoms (she's a PsyD student), saying I do *not* want to get back together, and apologizing for my actions, but she didn't reply and essentially mocked me with a Tik Tok she made that I came across. I just hate feeling like a bad person, and I know I wasnt the best person to her, but she was not very good to me at times either. She said things that she knew would get under my skin and cause me to get in my head with ruminating thoughts and anxiety. I really just want a literal phone call to be like "hey, I really am sorry. I am getting help and will get better. I just want you to know I did not mean to hurt you like I had" but it doesn't appear I will be able to. Does anyone have any advice moving forward? We had past dating history, and it really was not a good idea to get back together. Just feeling a bit weird lately, and would like some advice or support, if possible. Just stumbled across this community. 

Thanks everyone.