 

I've described this already but I feel I need to be more specific because I'd like an answer to this. I keep phoning my friends and asking them to delete my messages because I fear what if I've written something that could get me in trouble in the future. This despite the fact that they tell me I haven't written anything as such or that I can't remember if I have written anything like that. Even after they say they have deleted it (I make sure they're on the phone while they're deleting it so that they can tell me in real time) I feel like seeking reassurance and asking them again and again.

For eg. in America saying or writing the "n word" is scandalous and can get you socially ostracised. In Islamic countries, saying or writing anything against the Prophet can lead to imprisonment or death. In China saying anything against the government can get you imprisoned. I live in India. Over here if you say things that "hurt the religious sentiments of people" and maybe other such things you can go to jail. Now, it's not like anyone is deliberately watching and coming after you like it would be in China. If people are offended it's not necessary that there would be a price to pay. But if someone takes it upon themselves to complain to the police/courts, then there could be trouble. There are plenty of people who say or post flippant things that can be deemed blasphemous in India (and nothing happens to them). But you will always read some freak case in the newspapers where someone said something or wrote something and went to jail for it (although they usually end up getting bail I think).

I get so demotivated just racking my brain thinking to myself if I've ever written anything wrong or anything that could be remotely construed as inappropriate that I lose all motivation to continue going on with productive tasks in life. I feel "Oh, what's the point?"

It has gotten so bad that if I write something like "Hey, want to hang out today?" I feel like asking them to delete it because I feel that what if in some very remote way in the future it could be construed wrongly like, "Oh, he could have been studying or doing something productive but was in fact asking his friend if he wants to hang out. And the fact that he's the one asking and not the other way round means he's needy." This is just an example.

What am I supposed to do?