This is kind of a DAE post and me looking for some inspiration on how to manage things. I have schizoaffective and I’m on a pretty hefty dose of lithium and rexulti(brexpiprazole). I also take some meds for my ADHD and PTSD. They all help but I end up just feeling like a shell. Like I’m functioning but I’m not even me.

Lately everything has been feeling so overwhelming. Getting up, going to my college classes, taking care of my dogs needs, /keeping my apartment clean/, feeding myself, reading my course materials etc. It literally feels never ending and I don’t want to do any of it. I also have heavy anxiety about failing in life. I’m on all these meds and I still have symptoms, a somewhat manageable amount where I can function but everything stays hard. And then the side effects of the meds affect me too. I’m grateful for my medication because I would be dead without it. 

Last week I got very suicidal and depressed, my psych figured out my lithium was too high. It scared my partner and they couldn’t understand properly what I felt. I feel better now and not dangerous to myself. But every task feels so hard and I have to will myself to do them. I just don’t see a whole lot of point in anything right now and would rather just walk my dog or watch my favorite tv shows. 

I don’t feel depressed in a traditional sense. I still feel happy when I do stuff I like. 

Any ideas for this? Does anyone else experience this?