I just started a 9-6 internship to finish up my studies - which has almost nothing to do with my program  - but I only was accepted here. It has been two weeks and the one thing I quickly realized is how bad my mental health had gotten in this time. I cannot sit at a desk for 8-9 hours a day and honestly have been crying every night after I come from work and before I go to work in the morning. I go home everyday at 6 in the evening, then I have about 4-5 hours to myself before needing to sleep again and then repeat the cycle. This has been suffocating me. All I want to do is cry. The internship has almost nothing to do with what I have studied, it is the first full time position I have but I cannot cope with the 40 hours a week situation.

I can’t mentally cope that this is my to be life for the rest of my life after I graduate. Go to sleep at 10:00pm, wake up at 7:00 am, go to work, come back at 6:00pm repeat cycle. This entire thing to me is soul sucking. It has only been 2 weeks but I already can’t wait to get to July and for this to end. Even as I type July I am getting upset. I feel like I am wasting my life at 22 already and thinking I’m going to be doing this for the rest of my life makes me just spiral and think further about how wrong I was in the choices I have made in terms of career path and school. I should have just done another minor and not an internship in another city. It is so bad I want there to be actually another lockdown in the country I intern in so that they send me back home and I can do it online.