Seeking advice/support/tips??

I recently came out of a 10 year relationship some months back. The guy was who I thought was my soulmate, my absolute FP, someone I trusted with my life and I thought we would be together forever. Unfortunately he didn’t feel the same and spontaneously decided he wanted to break up and left me. 

This was devastating; I went through all the grieving and every BPD symptom I’ve ever experienced flashed up in record time, thought I was never going to make it through the year or ever want someone else in my life romantically again. I’ve done a lot of soul searching and thinking since then and I finally became ready to approach the idea of making new friends/possibly dating. It took a few tries to get into it but I’ve managed to successfully keep a dating profile now for a few weeks. 

Here’s the problem really. I’ve had a few occurrences now where I’ve made a connection with someone and started talking to them. I feel like it’s going great and I open up. Within HOURS I’m kind of obsessing and mentally planning our wedding (jk…I think). And then after a few more days, I start feeling like the person is talking to me less or is becoming less interested, and it absolutely DEVASTATES me. 

I want to be an independent mental health warrior princess that can deal with this but I’m finding it so hard to go through the waves of rejection that isn’t always even really there, sometimes I’m pretty sure it’s just me imagining it. I end asking the person if they’re losing interest and that typically puts them off and I get ghosted. Then I wallow in depression for a few days, swear off dating/relationships forever and then after that I’m back to feeling lonely and wanting to make connections again. 

It’s been a LONG time since I’ve been “on the scene”. I just don’t know how to be casual with people. I ‘like’ them too quick and it hurts when they aren’t on my level. Does anyone know any tips for dealing with this while I’m trying to date?