Friend with bpd keeps telling me that when I bring up the past, I'm being manipulative because it makes them feel like shit. 

It's confusing because I feel hurt by their actions, I try to tell them calmly about what it is that I feel hurt about and why, they end up lashing out at me, calling me a jerk or worse for feeling sad and hurt. I ask for a simple gesture like to hang out with me that night, which is all I asked to help me feel not so emotionally destroyed, they say they are sorry for hurting me, but can't hang out with me because they are at a friend's house, to which I try to understand why that would stop them from changing plans to spend time with me tonight, when within the past 2 weeks, they have had to stop hanging out with me at my place to go help a friend with depression one night, as well as invite me over to hang out, only to expect me to leave a short while after being there because while I was there, they decided to make plans to have a hookup in just a few hours, now expecting me to leave shortly.  To me their previous actions indicate it's ok to change plans to go help a friend, or even expect a friend to leave when they decided to change plans to have a hookup, but not spending time with a me who loves and cares about them very much to make me not feel so incredibly depressed by their actions, by simply hanging out with them that night is not acceptable.  It's soul crushing to me and I just wanted to understand.