I’ve had a hell of a ride lately. I had general anxiety about turning 30 last month and I’d recently parted ways with my best friend months prior. I turned 30 while hurricane Ian dropped 5 feet of water on our property flooding almost everything including my business. I lost alot. But it didn’t stop there… 

Right after that my grandfather went into a loop of hospitals and a nursing home which put a huge strain on my family after losing cars and such. It’s been nothing but clean up, catchup and insurance stuff for a month while my diet, workout routine and health have been neglected. 

I had just got my mind wrapped around picking up my old good habits again when I was told my dog has lung cancer and it’s only a matter of time. Apparently there is another storm headed our way too.

I guess to tl;dr it, so much has changed so fast that I can’t help but feel like all my best days were destroyed in that flood. But I know on a higher cerebral level that’s not true. I just can’t take anymore loss. 

I want to believe that I can have everything in my 30’s that I worked for in my 20’s. But the depression is telling me that it will be just as fleeting as anything in life ever is.