I’ve suffered from anxiety since I can remember. It is mainly because of emotional abuse from my parents which has also not helped my decision making ability. Over my twenties it manifested into paralyzingly panic attacks and I sought counselling. It helped with not getting to that point anymore. After losing my job over Covid I went on anti depressants and continued with a different counsellor. It’s helped me feel more in control over all. But I still can’t seem to make decisions about my life, and my parents are still the only people I can “lean on” for larger life advice. I can’t really trust them, and my anxiety tells me I can’t trust myself

I have lived between Canada and my home country for my twenties, and can’t decide which I want to commit my 30’s to. I’ve tried to envision both but my gut is so undecided.

I’m still single, so I am finding it hard to decide to make an investment in a home. I have a 50k (euro) job and my anxiety tells me it’s not enough money. I have 35k in savings and no debt and everywhere I read it says it’s not enough to do anything on a single income. I have no one to talk to about it, because no one I know is in a similar position.

Going to work everyday can be so jarring and I want the job for savings like everyone else. The social inconsistencies of the workplace (my boss putting me down in front of the client, the client being rude, team mates not getting along) really hurt me. Especially when blamed for things that aren’t my fault. I can’t sleep at night dwelling on them. And I can’t find a solution. I’ve made myself sick this last week from being run down by worry. I can never tell if it’s my anxiety or a bad workplace or both.

I have a driving licence but I am too afraid to drive because my parents embedded in me not to and it’s not worth the money and dangerous. When I do visit them they use the car as a tool to control my sisters and me. Once my mam told my aunt right in front of me that I don’t have a licence, and I couldn’t believe it. Then anxiety tells me that if I do drive, I will piss a lot of people off and be in trouble. 

My anxiety has paralyzed me from making foundations, or committing to doing anything. I feel so alone. I can’t seem to support my own wants and needs, or make solid decisions and end up in inactive worrying cycles. Aren’t these just regular life things? It feels like life is slipping through my hands

If you felt paralyzed by anxiety, how did you get past it? Or through it?