I moved in next door to this girl when I was 5 and we were inseparable. Looking back, I can see that I basically worshipped her and I wanted to be her. I would always copy her and would get extremely jealous if she became closer to other people. Eventually, after a few years (when I was around 8?), she kept "ditching" for another girl and the more I clung on, the more she stopped caring. I feel so sad for myself whenever I think about it. It's like I was no one without her. I also struggled with intense existential anxiety at such a young age. It was always lurking in the background of my mind. I think this really affected me. Spending time with her meant that I could be someone and I could run away from nothingness and I could be someone "important". I never idolized anyone as much as I did with her, likely because my emotions were never as intense as when I was that young. When I think about her now, she's just a person. We're now completely different people and probably have very little in common. Did anyone else experience BPD symptoms at a very young age?