I haven’t had a therapist in a while, since getting off my parents’ insurance. So recently I did some research and found a new therapist at a highly rated office. It turns out she was an intern which would have been fine if she was professional. 

The first session went okay, she mostly asked me questions and didn’t really say anything to my responses. But we didn’t do any of the normal screenings like the PHQ-9 or the GAD-7. (I’m diagnosed with GAD, OCD and depression, both are very severe)

The second session was through zoom. She literally looked out the window 60% of the time. At one point I asked a question for clarification and she said “okay” instead of answering.  

I expressed that part of what I wanted with therapy was clarity with my diagnoses since I have so many (depression, dysthymia, bipolar, CPTSD, GAD, OCD) and I just want someone to truly listen to me so that I can have a clearer path and better understanding. Especially since I’ve suspected BPD for a while and that it would explain some of the  co morbidities  with other things I’ve been diagnosed with. It would also make more sense to me than bipolar. It would also help me understand myself and fine tune my medication and therapy.  

She told me that “diagnoses are bullshit” and that doctors just use that to throw meds and therapy at people without getting to know the person. And that she didn’t want to do any diagnoses until further sessions. But to me, she didn’t even try to get to know me anyway. She ended up going over the criteria with me anyway. I had 8/9. She said “technically you would have a diagnosis of bpd according to DSM-5”. 

I mentioned again that the reason I wanted a diagnosis was to help fine tune my therapy and medication. She said there are no studies that show medication has any effect on mental health and side effects are often not  worth it. She asked if I’m sure I “really need” medication to which I said yes, in the past, coping skills for anxiety only worked when I had medication. And I can barely function. That was the end of the session.  I’m upset and feel lost.