My 'favourite person' in bpd terms is my partner of one year. They mean the whole world to me and never do anything to hurt me. However even a slight change in their texting pattern can send me into a frenzy. I even tried to end my life one time because I thought they were mad at me, which made me go out of control and sent me over the edge. 

Of course, I know this can be very tiring for them so I try to hide how I feel or remove myself from situations so I can calm myself and convince myself nothing is wrong. But a fair share of times they've had to deal with my episodes and I've blown up at them a few times. I feel so so bad for hurting them even though they forgive me. 

How do I control my feelings and not let small things they do affect my mood and actions?