Hi, I (17f) think I am depressed. I've had suicidal thoughts for about a year now and I have survived one attempt for the same as well. I was crying for no reason about 15 min ago and tbh idk what to do anymore. I am barely passing my classes in school, my grade in the only subject that I am good at is also going downhill and school is just awful. All my life all I had were fake friends, friends who talked to me for their own benefit. All my childhood I tried to change myself so that they would like me and now that I have finally cut them out, I am left all alone because they still hang out together and I am all alone.  I have  very little social life and tbh I don't have a lot of self confidence either, no boy has ever shown interest in me and even if my  friends are having a discussion about dating or something similar to that just the idea of me in a romantic sense makes them frown or disgusted which is something I don't understand like am I that horrible to look at?And as if school and not having friends wasn't enough my parents are not making things any better. My parents don't have a successful marriage which is why they are always fighting, I have spent all my childhood listening to them shout at eachother which is why now if someone even remotely raise their voice in front of me( even if it's not directed at me ) tears start streaming down my face. My dad doesn't have job, he never really had a stable source of income, which is why my family has always been financially unstable because my mom is a housewife. My dad is deeply in debt. My mom is actually quite supportive but the thing is she has years of mental trauma because of her own marriage. I have my college entrance exam in about 6 months and I have zero prepration for it whatsoever, and if I don't go to college next year I'll be stuck at home and will never exactly be able to get away from the toxic environment here. I have absolutely no idea what to do at this point, after years of everything going wrong I am just exhausted now.