I am a 28 y.o. male who was in an 8 month relationship with a 25 y.o. female. I broke up with her 3 months ago after a huge fight, when I realized I that I was a victim of verbal/emotional abuse.

I have not spoken with her since the break-up, despite numerous attempts by her to get in touch. She eventually stopped trying to get in touch about 6 weeks ago, and much to my relief, seems to be doing okay (according to her Facebook anyway).

When I reflect back - I got out of the relationship in self-defense. Since then, I have been focused on my own needs and have sought therapy. After someone on reddit suggested that my ex might have BPD, I looked it up and sure enough - everything I read hit really close to home. From 'Walking on Eggshells' to 'I hate you, don't leave me' to every single article/thread etc. I am not a professional, but based on my experiences, my ex maybe have BPD/NPD, though she is extremely high-functioning.

I do not blame her for anything, and I don't care if she blames me or not. I think we are both on the path to recovery and have gotten along with our individual lives. I have just one more decision to make - should I talk to her? I don't know if she will want to talk to me - which is okay. I don't know if it's healthy for each of us to talk just yet. I am not trying to be a hero or a 'white knight', I am just wondering if I should attempt to make a positive change in someone's life.

This girl is amazing and deserves to have a complete life. She's a fighter and has a lot of heart. Based on this community and the literature I have read, if she is willing to acknowledge and work on what's ailing her, she can easily overcome her BPD.

Here is what I am having trouble deciding - should I talk to her at all? Should I wait to do it? I am not going to push my amateur diagnosis on her - but my only goals is to convince her that I have come to understand what she was/is going through and that if she chooses to seek help, it would help her tremendously.

What do you think?

TL;DR - My ex may have BPD/NPD. Should I ask her to seek help?