So here I am in bed sobbing my eyes out on my birthday wishing I was dead, i am so alone, no friends I’m broke, no job, and no health, I have multiple sclerosis, I feel like no one cares about me, i never mattered to anyone I spend all day alone in my room looking at YouTube videos i occasionally go take a walk all by myself to get some fresh air but lately I don’t do it as much because it makes me feel even more lonely, my college life is a wreck I can’t pass anything I have no motivation to do anything I used to paint minis from warhammer but I don’t even do that now my birthday present was money for the bills my parents gifted me I feel like there’s nothing in life that will ever make me happy again and I’m just delaying the fact that I’m going to commit suicide at some point I just don’t know how nothing brings me joy I feel like I fell in an abyss of darkness and I can’t get out