There is a kind of despair thats come over me a few times in my life that feels like im possessed. Thats the only way i can explain it, its like this horrible evil dark spirit has taken over my mind and cut me off from experiencing any love in the world. It feels so heavy and dirty and disgusting, like a black pit in my chest. and i know whatever it is isnt me, but i feel that because its infected my soul i am evil and dirty myself and beyond hope of being good again. The last episode of this was 3 months ago and i was unable to function, completely hysterical, panicking and trying to explain to my parents that i had this horrible evil darkness inside me and i dont know how to get rid of it and i just wanted to be good again. These episodes only last 1-3 hours. Is this a form of an anxiety/panic attack? Maybe im actually being possessed? Could be linked to repressed sexual abuse when i was a toddler? Ive become afraid of these experiences repeating when i start to have negative thoughts.