Hey all i'm new to this sub but i thought maybe posting would help me to deal with things a little bit. I recently told my family and friend's that i'm depressed and have an appointment booked in with a GP, I started to notice that i lost joy in the things that usually make me happy and iv'e been sleeping a lot at first i thought this was due to recently breaking up with my partner.   


But if i'm being honest i was heading this way before i dated them dating them just thankfully brought some much needed joy into my life at the time, sadly though they were the only thing that was giving me joy which made me push them away.  My depression got worse as the relationship continued i found myself just only thing about them that i couldn't be myself they caught on that something was wrong but i just explained it as overthinking that's what i thought it was at  the time.    


However once we broke up i after about a week i had went through all the notions about the relationship and after some time passes I've decided i want to try to be friends again and i want to apologies .  However i still felt awful i thought maybe the reason why was because maybe i lost the person i'm meant to be with so i scrolled for hours looking at break up articles and how to get your ex back. All of them suggested no contact so i didn't contact them but whilst i was obsessing all this stuff reading these bogus articles and watching these videos i came to a realization. None of this was helping me, I've not changed since we broke up in fact i got worse because i thought this was the only thing that made me happy.   


So i came back from uni and had a chat with my family and i told my friend's that i was depressed and the thing that feels really shit is i used a relationship with such a good person who i treated unfairly because of it. I'm going to start slow but i'm going to go back to things that used to make me happy i want to re enter the world despite it still being really hard to so with all these strong emotions i have to do it, cause it's the only way i'm going to get better.