Because I know what awaits there and it isn't anything good. I always return back filled with dissapointment and sorrow. 

I wish I didn't have to go there. I wish I could go somewhere else.

I see my friends excited to go home and I fake it for their sake. I see pictures of them enjoying there time and know I can't take any. Horrible living conditions to say the least. With manipulative people who want to suck money, time and energy. I don't think they want my blood because what good would that do to them?

They all want something different from me. They all have an agenda and they want to play me but obviously I know better. But it's just so painful.

My uncle and aunt want my house. My grandma wants me to use my money to construct something for her. My cousin wants me to help him with his school fees. Everyone wants something from me. They don't want to just love me with no conditions. If I keep them happy, they'll act like they care for me for awhile until they want somwthing else. If I don't give them what they want, they turn against me and make me even more miserable.