Isnt that pathetic? Man I really hate christmas and today it's christmas eve, I feel sick to be honest. This is one of the days a year I take muscle relaxers (pills) just to get through it.. Now im super careful with this as its highly addictive and only take it a few days per year, i've done this for several years so I know im not gonna get addicted following these rules.   


BUT DAMN it feels pathetic, like why cant I even relax with my own family?? I have crippling anxiety and mostly im a shut in loser.. it all feel hopeless, anyways merry christmas all, I feel like only people with anxiety can truly understand me.