I have been a chronic nail biter longer than I can remember. I recently went traveling with a friend who made me realize again how much I do it (all my family and close friends already are just so used to it they don’t even note it). 

I nail bite it when I’m bored, when I’m nervous, when I’m not even thinking. Sometimes to the point of bleeding or acute pain. It’s disgusting. It probably adversely affects my career/romantic life/friendships in ways I probably don’t even realize. Which part of my cognition broke when I was so young and why? Why nail biting? Is it just a small part of rock bottom self esteem? My first long term roommate has pointed out my causal self deprecating comments. Self deprecating humor is a big coping mechanism for me. Maybe I’ve always just accepted an unhealthily self-critical, self-degrading mentality? Would rationalizing my family’s genetic history of mental illness even help? Weirdly, I feel like I’m fairly successful in a lot of things because I never accept myself as worthy of anything. At least I’m a high-functioning sad person but still I want to not have gross fingers.