I am 25 years old on July the 29th at 8:10 I got a phone call saying that my 20 year old younger brother had hung himself. I was and still am devastated. I acted out to my family. I am pushing everyone close to me away. Me and my brother were very close he was the only person I fully 100% trusted with my life he was the only one I could call to talk to that wouldn’t judge me or treat me badly over my decisions or actions and I was the same way for him. I talked to him two days before and we had made plans for me my fiancé and our son to go to the zoo with him and his fiancé that weekend he ended his life the day before our plans. I have my mother and father and step-parents and cousins and things like that still but I feel like I have no one. I feel so alone. I feel the pain of this 24/7 and it’s not getting and lighter on my heart and my mind. I stay so miserable now that I contemplate why I don’t join him. When my parents depart it was always supposed to be still me and him having each other’s backs, I don’t have that I don’t have my brother o don’t have my best friend I don’t have my confidant anymore and I’m not sure that I’m going to make it much longer with this pain. The only reason right now that I haven’t put myself next to him is because the pain is way to fresh for my family. It’s tearing my relationship with my fiancé apart because I can’t stop being selfish and be there for her because all I do is hurt. She’s the second most trusted person I have and I’m losing her too. I do t know what to do anymore. If your out there I love you bub.