 Man, I'm on the verge of giving up, every day I feel my life is so monotonous. I don't have a dream or something that should drive me to keep going like everyone else you know? I don't want to graduate from college or get a nice job, I wish I was already old and needed to wait for my peaceful death...  I feel empty, senseless, and worthless. I think I lost feelings like happiness or sadness, I feel numb all the time, and because of that, I turned myself into a great liar. There were moments that I have even lied to myself and I only realize way later...  

right now I have 22 and I am far from the death I wish I had, maybe ill have to rush things up.