I'm really starting to feel bitterness towards my family and the friends I had. I don't blame them, because I'm the one that's the problem.

I'm a quiet borderline who has never spoke a word to anyone about it. But many times, things have spilled over and I've had major meltdowns. 
If it was one of them, I can say with a fair amount of confidence that, I would have noticed. Researched. I mean, in my opinion it's totally obvious what's wrong with me. 

A few years back, I had a horrific break up with my parter of 11 years.   To get to the point... I reverted back to being a helpless child desperate to stop her leaving and ended up giving her everything I had. All my money and all my possessions. 
My friends just let it happen. One of them even helped her to sell my stuff. I just don't get it. I wasn't in control through any of it. 


I just wanted to say this to them but I can't so hey reddit!
