
I’m in grad school (science) and everything has been going terribly. I feel so guilty every day because this was my dream and I got so lucky to be given the opportunity to study at the school I’m at. I’ve always considered myself as average but hard working. I really believed for such a long time that if I just work really hard I can do it but I’m at a point where it feels like maybe this isn’t for me and no matter how badly I want it- I’m not smart enough or capable enough to do it. 
It just feels like my brain is so slow and can’t grasp content like it should. I have ADHD which makes things hard but I really feel like I’m just stupid. It’s so embarrassing to talk to my brilliant classmates because I know I don’t belong. My grades have taken a big toll and it hurts but i just don’t have the energy to keep going.

I’m first Gen and though I’m grateful for this opportunity it feels so lonely and I don’t know who to turn to. Im so embarrassed and I hate myself more and more every day. Im so tired of myself and I can’t help but think what an embarrassment I am to my family and the school. I feel like such a failure. I’ve always been the one to guide my siblings but what about me? I don’t have anyone. I don’t know what to do and I can’t keep trying anymore. There’s no point because I’m just going to fail again. If there is someone out there who has ever felt this way - please share. It’s so lonely and scary.