So I definitely forgot to ask my therapist today to make a referral go a psychiatrist for me. At h clinic I go to you need to see your therapist for at least six weeks before you can see a psychiatrist, and I hit that last week. I took some time to think about it and decided that I want to but totally blanked on it. I'm also really nervous about calling her and asking about it. Which is kind of funny because she thinks I should be prescribed some anti anxiety medication (I also have generalized and social anxiety disorder, which she thinks might actually be avoidant personality disorder instead). One of my biggest fears is talking to people on the phone, I can only ever call my boyfriend without panicking before I dial the number. I'm not even all that comfortable with my therapist even. My living situation is kind of up in the air at the moment and I might have to move to a different stage in about two weeks so I've been stressing out even more. If I have to leave the state then I won't have insurance and I won't be able to afford to see a therapist or anything.  I just don't know what to do. I feel like my mental health has ruined my life tbh. I ended up dropping out of college and moving 1,000 miles away from the place I've lived my entire life and then got thrown out and now I'm home again with no plans for myself. I don't even have a job because I'm too afraid that I'll get hired. I don't like feeling so responsible, or having to interact with people and live up to their expectations. And since I don't have a car here, my mother would have to drive me everywhere and she'd complain about it constantly even though she's the one pressuring me to get a job. Everything is stressful and I just want to stay in bed for the rest of my life. 