She broke up with me about a month and a half ago because I was too “unstable”. This all happened before my diagnosis so I thought that I was just unlovable. Now that I’m on a good set of meds, don’t have as many stressors as I did when we were together, and overall just feel way better, I want her to know that I’m doing better. I’m going back to college for another degree, my moods have mostly stabilized and I’ve done a lot of reading on the subject of BPD, and I’m currently shopping for a therapist to help even further.

Even though my life is going pretty well right now, I still can’t stop thinking about how perfect she was to me. I deleted her contact from my phone but I recently found it in some deleted files. I know texting her will only hurt because she very clearly didn’t want to talk the last time I tried texting her but I can’t get this thought out of my head. What if she’s also thinking about me but waiting to see if I’ll text her first?

Talk me down from this ledge because I know this kind of dumb shit is gonna destroy me