So I'm really struggling at the moment. I had been going to therapy and practicing self care etc and was convinced I had recovered, got pregnant and then discovered I'm in no way recovered and I have decided not to go through with it. 

I've decided to truly dedicate myself to recovery and get more intensive therapy and more support. I can't handle a job at the moment and I'm studying but the course is only one day a week so I can handle it. 

I have an amazing, supportive boyfriend but he's going to start a new job and I can already feel myself getting paranoid that he'll start having an affair with someone there- and I'm really worried that because he'll be giving me less attention I'll start to seek it from outside sources and go patrying and doing drugs like I used to (which I really want to avoid).
Also his normalcy makes me feel even more crazy and I feel really jealous that he can just up and start a new job like it's nothing. 

Any advice for staying on the straight and narrow and committing to recovery would be greatly appreciated because I feel completely hopeless at the moment, thanks :)