I told my FP from the beginning that I had BPD to which they replied " no you don't". at the time I thought they were just trying to be nice and say what they thought would make me feel better, like oh you seem normal something along those lines. But after nearly a year of being together I don't feel any more understood than I did from the very beginning. I feel like a hypochondriac anytime I talk about it and if I bring up advice that I think would help or things that aren't helping in the relationship It seems to always become a big deal and my FP interprets it as me saying it's not good enough. however, I think it's fair than I should be able to say it's not good enough when all I've asked for is a single Google search to learn some basics. I know I'm not easy to deal with, because I have a hard time dealing with myself. But I think I owe it to myself to have somebody that takes the initiative to try to learn and understand without me just constantly lecturing them about myself. I don't really like to talk about myself this way because it makes me feel self-conscious to know that I have a mental condition, and I'm so used to people stigmatizing it or down playing it that it makes me feel like it's not even worth saying at all, I feel like talking about it just gets misinterpreted as attention seeking, and if anyone knows me they should know that I especially don't like being the center of attention. I feel like I do a pretty good job of being introspective and when I'm not overwhelmed with my emotions I feel like I'm pretty objective about everything that happened, but when I am in an emotional state which is quite often I lose all sense of rationality and then my FP/others Don't take me seriously. It just feels like one big cycle. I don't have any social support really of any kind and maybe I rely on my FP too much for this, but I feel like things would obviously go better if my FP would just do some dang quick research to understand why and how things happen, what makes me feel better, what makes it worse, etc. Now he's moving out and I'm back to square one where I always find myself. It feels like it's never going to end. BPD makes me feel so unloveable like there's no way anyone would want to stick around with me when they could have a nice happy easy life with a nonBPD'er