People very proudly share their memories. Their school memories, their college ones , party , relationships all fun stuff.  They have people to create it with. They have the energy to create them. I don't . Getting up everyday is a task for me. 

I wonder what I will look back upon when I will grow up. Cause I can't even fucking remember all this shit even if they are just bad memories. I don't remember my high school, my college. I just know I went there. I have no happy memories of it even if there were happy moments. 

They all just blend in with bad things and appear as if everything that ever happened to me was bad. 

Also I feel like I have failed to develop as a human. Things you learn during late teens to early adulthood (like 15-22)  , I haven't. I feel behind as a human among my peers. Not just career , realtionships wise , but basic human things like talking ,making things work , buying stuff . I don't know if that makes sense. People my age can do stuff right, I don't feel, I can. It's scary and embarrassing when I can't.

I am almost 23 and its been 7 years and I don't have a fucking clue how to make a life out of this. It's so messy and crumbled that I don't know where to start cleaning it up.