can someone please explain to me why some people don’t want to work on themselves to heal, understand coping strategies, and work through their issues to make existing easier on themselves? because i truly don’t understand and i’m genuinely asking i’m not trying to be a dick. 

i have friends who choose not to work on their shit and i feel like they don’t want to go through the emotions and process them? like healing can be messy and it takes some effort to learn new stuff and remember sad things but why suffer x100 when you can put in a bit of effort and maybe just suffer x60 instead and make day to day life a little less stressful? also why do some people just want to smoke and forget about how much they hate themselves instead of actually improving themselves? 

a little effort can include cheap self help books, reading, videos, and all free resources the internet has to offer but like why not even try that? it doesn’t have to be 1000s of dollars in therapy and meds. 

i have bpd on top of 5 other diagnoses including autism so it’s not like i don’t understand how hard things are but just, why choose to not get even a little bit better?