I want so badly to end my life. I don’t have any real friends and the ones I do have I don’t feel satisfied or safe within them. I was dating this one guy and he was so amazing to me. Like truly wholesome while we were dating and then he ghosted me. I can barely maintain my academic life and my desperate attempts to be involved in student life just remind me how lonely and detached I am from everyone else. I drove three hours out of town to kill myself  last week and after I came home and got settled back in everyone started ignoring me again. It feels so sadistic that people make an effort to keep me alive I just want to kill myself. I feel like I’m eventually going to kill myself very soon