The last two years of my life I have been destroying myself both physically and mentally. My best friend killed himself because he couldn't deal with my problems on top of his own and jts all been downhill from there. Almost everyday i sleep for 12 or more hours, sometimes i sleep for 20 hours. I feel like killing myself everyday and i cut myself to punish myself for the terrible things ive done. I yell and get mad at people for inconveniencing me yet still want everyone else to do things for me. I stopped going to uni and will likely fail and i just live a parasitic lifestyle on everyone else. I dont help my mom even though she has mental issues and i dont help my grandma take care of my brother. My dad thinks i should thoughen up and do what i have to but i cant ever find the motivation to do it. Everyday i cant stop thinking about how terrible of a person i am and how much better off everyone around me would be if i quit sucking the life out of them. I hate myself cause im a terrible person so i cut myself to punish myself which makes me hate myself more. I want to jump off a building or get hit by a car. Sometimes i want to buy a knife and cut myself as i deep as i can so i can suffer when i die. I dont deserve whats been given to me and i dont deserve my life.