So for a long time I've been pretty sure I have BPD. Looking through the DSM-V, the symptoms and signs are familiar territory for me. Three years ago when I first attempted suicide, the doctors considered giving me the diagnosis but ultimately decided I was simply depressed and severely anxious. 

Well last night after I got into a fight with my best friend and lost my job in a day, I decided I'd had enough. I started having a panic attack, I cut, and then I took 50 mg of hydroxyzine and two klonopins. I told my roommate this and got in the shower. When I got out of the shower, she had called 911 for a welfare check. From that point, I went to the hospital in town and after giving them my pee and my blood they finally sent in a social worker. 

I was terrified, because the last time this happened I ended up spending a week in a behavioral health institution and it was a very negative experience for me. So I thought, well shit here we go again. 

But the social worker asked me what I wanted to do and I told her: I want to start getting real therapy, not just seeing my psychiatrist and having pills thrown at me. So she referred me to a mental health center in the same town and discharged me with a safety plan. 

Today my mom and I went for my intake appointment and the counselor gave me an official diagnosis from the DSM: borderline personality disorder and depression. I don't know if it's normal to feel this way, but I was relieved and happy to know there's finally an explanation for the way I am. In the next few weeks I'll begin DBT and therapy at the center and I am so excited to begin my journey of healing and learning how to cope. 

Sorry for the longevity, I just wanted to share on here to add to the stories of BPD folks working to improve their lives. 

TLDR: 23 yr old female finally gets the BPD diagnosis she always needed. 

Thanks for reading guys :)