 My dad said he was diagnosed with BPD a long time ago, and it's been a year since he's passed and I've suffered so much depression over the last decade that I feel like just giving up. I can't make friends at all because I honestly cannot care about the other person, all I care about is getting away and returning to isolation. I cannot form connections at ALL, even with my therapist, it all feels super artificial and forced. I have the maturity of a 14 year old and I am super submissive and avoidant. My emotion is like a rollercoaster throughout the day but a lot of the time I just feel empty. I cannot form bonds with anybody and I just pushed another person away from me and I noticed that during the conversation I pitied myself way too much and kept it focused on me like a little child feeling sorry for himself. I am super antisocial (not in a violent, hateful way, I am just super submissive and self-conscious so I avoid every interaction possible). Is there a chance I have manifested borderline tendencies? I feel like such a shallow, toxic person even though I'm a fucking manchild with no friends.