Instant example: checking my bank account to see if it didn't blow up in between when I last checked it and now. This is maybe a weird and specific thing but I am having this problem a lot. Basically I'm kind of scared to just find out something sometimes when I want to. For example I am into a hobby that has recently gotten a lot of attention (which makes me feel like crap for some reason, I wanted it to stay small and just something I liked) and I check the Google trends sometimes to see if the popularity has died down yet. Sometimes I can't get myself to actually go do that because I feel physically uncomfortable and I almost feel afraid of knowing the real situation outside of what is haunting around in my head, even if it's better news than I expected.

Another thing is that I'm sometimes afraid of reading articles or news stories that I found online. I save them for later but it's like my anxiety blocks me from actually reading them. I want to know the full story beyond the news heading, but if it's something depressing I feel afraid of actually reading the whole thing and finding out the nuances of why this terrible thing is terrible but also why some good thing is good (according to a heading).

And also I'm afraid of studying sometimes. For example, I get recommended YouTube videos about programming related subjects as it's what I'm studying and I'd like to watch them and know what the subject is about, but I feel almost afraid of knowing and I don't really know why. (For example a title like "The New Responsive Web Design in a Component Driven World" which seems useful and like something I should know, but I can't get myself to just watch it without a little push or ignoring a voice in my head that says I should avoid watching these videos)

It's like anxiety about diving into things or gaining some information and I don't know where it comes from.