I’m 16 Junior in High School, and my life is really just a train wreck. (I’m gonna go on abt just the bad things that have happened in my life)

When I was a baby, I was put into this baby feeding program, I’m guessing it was to get me used to different types of foods. One day, someone tried force feeding me and I was traumatized since then. 
I’ve had to come to school w a lunch box everyday, haven’t eaten ANY school food. Everytime my family would offer me a piece of food I haven’t tried and id just say no because I’m scared of if I get sick or the texture/taste. I overthink abt it and just deny the offer
Then, when I was in 5th grade, I went to some place abt an hour away which was like a feeding center. Hell, id like to call it. The first day, they force fed me and I think that was it for that day. 
I’m allergic to milk, and so they tried getting me to try different types of milk: soy milk, almond, whatever. And everyday, I’d throw up in te trash can. I still don’t know why my mom kept taking me there. 
During this time, I’d have to go to the school at like 5 pm and do work, hated that. Because of this, they didn’t let me go to my 5th grade graduation. I was sad, my parents were pissed.

Around that time in 5th grade, my grandma was very ill, we went to a retirement home place where she stayed at and met her once a month. One day, she gave me a dog doll that was holding a bone saying “Best Wishes” I still have this w me in my room rn. That was the same day that apparently she was being treated poorly by the staff and was thrown around w no care basically. 
The night she died, I was watching chopped (cooking show) w my dad, when all of a sudden, my mom (who went to check on my grandma every other day) came crying loudly and fell into my arms sobbing. 
When we went to her funeral, I didn’t cry a single tear because I was trying to be ‘tough’. As a 11-12 year old kid, you don’t take those times seriously. I want to go back and cry every year I could, but can’t. 

Now high school is around and I find this one girl I’m attracted to. 2019 freshman year, I dm’d her on insta and she ‘kindly’ rejected me. 
I was heartbroken, but then at the end of freshman year, I found this other girl on insta, I finally dm’d her beginning this junior year and she was just so cocky and rude, yet a Christian girl, (I would tell her these compliments, and she’d be like “Yeah, I know”) 
I then dm’d another girl over insta I had feelings for, she said no, and I couldn’t believe that all these girls basically rejected me. 
Then (this is the most recent situation) I see this girl in my 5th pd. I gained feelings for her over time and I finally gained the courage to ask her out in person in 6th pd. As I’m walking up to her, someone else asks her out. 
I asked the guy, who was in my 7th if he asked her out and he said “I asked her out for my friend who was too much of a wuss to ask her out himself.” And now they have been in a relationship since October 2021. I see them in the halls everyday looking soo happy to be together and it hurts.

Tonight, I’m just looking back and thinking damn, I feel like a disappointment man. I was looking for girls ig that went to my school and now, I can’t anymore. 

If you feel the need to respond, please do. I’m at my lowest tonight.