I'm not sure if I'm depressed or lazy, but I think life is meaningless.

I don't feel any signs of sadness or sickness, yet, I feel aimless and unmotivated.

I'm not suicidal or anything bad. I still sleep 8-9 hours everyday, and eat and drink water consistently at the right time.

It's just that I realized that there is no point in doing things anymore, like, chores or school activities. It's like everything is predetermined to happen again and that nothing that we do even matters anymore.

**It's like opening the door, knowing that you'll close it again** (literally and figuratively).

Deadlines in school activities no longer fear me because I realized that it won't matter that much in the future.

I stopped pursuing my hobbies. I'm just mindlessly browsing the internet and watching videos on YT most of the time, feeding and cleaning myself, completing school work, and sleeping in my living room over and over again everyday.

I feel like this not because of jealousy or anything external. I just had this insight while I was walking in the woods.

In short, **I feel that life has meaning or purpose anymore**. I'm not trying to live life seriously or lightly, it's just that I don't think anything matters anymore. I've been trying to fill a cup that is actually bottomless the whole time.