cw // suicide ideation 

i noticed i have been fantasizing so much about taking revenge from the person who harmed me after all the promises they gave me, idk if taking revenge by causing them emotional damage similar to what they caused me for 5 months (basically all sobbing and attempting and not having any life) will be worth it or will make me feel more shame, i feel like i will be the one who lost if i “forgive”, i feel like people forgive just to convince themselves they’re “the better person” instead of admitting to the fact that those who hurt you are living their lives to the fullest being proud of what they did to you when they should be as miserable as you are and should know how wrong what they did was and how much they should regret it 

i am not certainly diagnosed with bpd yet but me and my therapist are discussing the bpd symptoms i have and i wanted to know how you guys tend of think of these situations!