Fuck you admins

Drinking a shit ton of alcohol does the trick Im going to commit suicide by hanging it’s over Im 19 I promised myself to see how it will get better within the future but it’s just gotten worse I don’t know anymore this is it I’m going to kill myself tomorrow by hanging or a cliff I know wrote and told my family and so on about this I’m just really done. I’m so alone just existing for the sake of it the loneliness is eating me up I can’t seem to look at myself and feel useful. I feel like this world has nothing for me. It’s like nothing is waiting for me in the future. I don’t want to survive this time I really don’t I rather best be dead and observe everyone live there life and be happy. I hate myself and never want to be alive again. Idk who will find this but thanks for being in my life. I've also been feeling extremely suicidal lately, I can't take this total isolation anymore. Even if I have an opportunity to talk to someone at all, I can barely even manage to form a sentence. Never mind a girl. Stutter, stutter fkn stutter. Even if I have something in mind I find it so difficult to actually say it. Who on earth would have the patience to listen to me? Even if I tried to talk to someone how could they ever be attracted to me? I can't even talk to them properly.

I'm so crippled with anxiety I can't even go outside or talk to someone online anymore. Sure I'll comment here and there, but I can't actually have a conversation or form any kind of friendship and relationship.
Goodbye.

Have to say thanks to the people who constantly reached out to me and on posts these couple of weeks it did seem like I was not taking it in but I sure did that’s why I was and am still here not anymore now.