Using an alt. I feel like I just screw everything up. I cause stress and angst. I’m months behind in school. I want to be wanted. To not have insert myself, but to be asked. I want to be good enough. Sure, I want to start a family, I want to go en pointe, I love dance and my friends and family, but I don’t know I can make it. I need motivation y’all. If I can’t get better I don’t want to live. Is it suicidal if you want to die but never planned anything or seriously contemplated it?