So I've been single for about a year now. I always had good luck finding a guy right now, and they always were into talking a ton and hanging out like constantly, it would get serious from like 0 to 100 most if our time spent together. Which obviously I love that because I don't feel like they're abandoning me. But I have also had a almost perfect score of dating men still living at home, and a LOT of problems emotional, social, and a lot of substance abuse. I took some time off of dating for a while and I've been back in the game for a few months. I have decided to finally raise the caliber of guy I'm dating because I deserve more as a whole and have similar traits as me (good job, lived independent for a while, same politial views, no outstanding baggage).

So with most of the guys the texting starts out strong getting to know one another, have a few dates that go extremely well and the talking in between plans doesn't stop, but it goes to one a few replies per day. I on the inside freak out and think I did something and now they hate me, so I go back on the dating apps and find my next love of the moment. I'll text something dumb and drunk to the last guy while out on another date, then be embarrassed in the morning and block them so I don't have to deal with it).

After checking my blocked messages I've noticed they typically respond kindly and reach out to me a few more times after I stop responding asking what happened. I'm wondering now if this is just a normal progression of relationship in people that are mentally healthy and don't "need" another person. Is this whats happening and I'm just so used to my toxic relationships I take it as abandonment? 

Any solid advice or similar experiences would be appreciated. On the plus side though, after a year of putting it off I finally have an appointment with a psychologist next month ❤.