I don’t even know how to put the pain in words. I cry every single day. 

My ex, who is still good friends w me, was the only person who gave a single damn about me. Idk if I would consider him an FP but I would’ve definitely considered him someone I would go to in hard times since no one else takes me seriously. 

We were joking around in a groupchat calling each other imbeciles and then he said to me “atleast people enjoy my presence”.

The thing is he’s right and maybe he said it as a joke but he knows I feel that way. He knows that I have a horrible self esteem and that I have trouble making friends and keeping them. He knows I feel very insecure about how other people view me as a person. He knows I always feel lonely.

I wish I was normal. I can’t stop crying. And not just because he said that, but because I cry about being lonely and feeling like a loser every single day. I hate myself and I hate my fucking life. Its a miracle i’m still here today.