I'm 23 and really sick in the head. I've gone through homelessness, addictions to every drug and masturbation to an extreme degree. I have a DUI because I'm a terrible, terrible person, and will probably have my license suspended for years. I've alienated my family, every friend I've ever had, and destroyed every chance at love/romance,  which has especially crushed and shattered my heart and soul. I am nobody, and I have nothing important. I've decided to sell all my shit and go hike the Appalachian trail. I know it will not fix anything at all, but It's something I've always felt the need and want to do. I'm months away from it but it's the only goal I have. Afterwards who knows what will happen. I'm sure it'll just be a cycle of me trying to be a part of society, and find someone who can accept me as a person, not being able to handle it and starting over and over again, as I have many times, and many thousands miles of moving. I feel miserable and have felt this way since I was 6 years old. I don't know what it feels like to be loved, and I don't know what happiness feels like. I'm going to die very young, and completely alone, leaned up against a tree dripping my own soul and blood beneath me, back to where I belong, beneath the soil that so helped me live.