I wish I was never born. I am extremely fed up, I’ve been in a depressive state for a few days now but when it goes away I’m not even back to normal just sort of “dealing with it” and ill go back to crying and feeling horrible again for days again. My mum really tipped me on the edge today her and my dad are just so extremely dysfunctional always been at each other’s throats since I was born and as my mum complains of how she needs out of this household how she can’t take being around my dad anymore (she’s just as bad as he is, also he has Parkinson’s and she is his carer) I just ask her why she didn’t leave years ago, and she said she did for mine and my older brothers sake. Which she did fucking not, she doesn’t give a shit about me she acts like she does, but whenever she’s upset with me she’s really just dissatisfied with herself that she couldn’t take care of us properly and that she failed as a mother. I’m pretty sure she only wanted to be one to outstand her own parents and she failed. And this is only part of the bullshit she puts me through, both of my parents are manipulating gaslighters who put me through emotional hell. Not to mention I don’t have a single friend who actually gives a shit about me, they’re all just fed up of how “dramatic” I am. I go to college and work everyday just to try and get some money and qualifications to get me out of this toxic household and town but it’s gonna take a few years to build up. Meanwhile I’m in a relationship with a partner who is so understanding and I love with all my heart but I fear I’m putting them through to much all they can say at this point when I vent to them is how sorry they are and that my situation is terrible. I’m afraid I’ll lose them when they’re all I have. I really don’t know how much longer I can deal with all of this when I’m supposed to still be in this situation for the next few years. I just need out.