My job, my love life, my family. Things are okay. I've saved up the sum I was so desperate to. I feel better about debts. I've graduated and proved to everyone that not having one parent, my mother, didn't make me a weakling. I'm OKAY. I'm looking for reasons to cry, listening to music and watching movies. I haven't watched movies in so long. Today I watched The Dark Knight and tried so hard to cry. I'm listening to a song and one verse with a soft tone is making me want to cry. I can't wake up and face the world. I'm so goddamn terrified all the time, I keep flinching at bad thoughts. I just keep having bad thoughts all the time. I try to talk but it feels so pathetic. I can't find a good therapist. I have a week off work and I think it's making me go insane.