I was making plans for a trip for my birthday and one of my friends backed out last minute. I really wanted all of us to go, and now I’m upset that I can’t think of any additional person that would want to come to fill the spot. 
 
I’m introverted in the worst kind of way, and this disorder does not help. I completely ruined my relationship with my very best friend from childhood through college because I freaked on her. 

I feel like a pathetic loser because I had to ask my friend, who is coming on the trip, to bring one of her friends who I hardly know just to fill the spot. 

It’s worse because my partner is extremely outgoing and personable and has many friends in different social circles. It is completely unintentional but it feels like it gets rubbed in my face a lot. I suck at relationships because I have so much anxiety and paranoia about what the other person could be thinking of me. 

I work from home, I have no sociable hobbies, and I have no other community of people to connect with. 

Just venting and feeling sorry for myself that’s all.