I know thats like the whole point but I hate it and it definitely holds me back from fully moving forward in the whole process. I want to just fix everything and still be me but healing feels like i have to say good bye to the part of me that is too hurt to want anything else. It hurts a lot because i know I didn’t deserve the things i went through to get to that point i want to hug that part of myself instead of leaving it behind. Healing feels like i have to change completely and be someone else someone im really not familiar with. Its hard to know the justice my darker half is seeking doesn’t exist and the only positive path to take is to kill it and abandon it. I feel like a traitor…all it wanted to do was be my companion and protect me when no one else would and now i have to tell it its holding me back and its bad. Its hard.