I am a 27 year old male, dating a 26 year old female. We started texting back in June, and have gone on three dates since September. We talk every day, and we really enjoy each other.

After our first date, we had drunken sex, and the next day she said she was not ready for a relationship. However, she said that she wanted to continue to see me.

I was understanding, because she has been single for about six months, after being in a seven-year relationship. She has never experience being single, and I have tried to be incredibly patient over these past few months.

However, we never establish exclusivity, since she was not looking for a relationship. Now that we have had three good dates, I messaged her, hoping to have a discussion about how she is feeling about things.

I wanted to have a phone call, or do it in person, but I decided to message her. I know that may have been foolish, but I cannot change the past. She replied saying she thinks it’s a good idea for us to address this as well, and I am currently waiting for her to get back to me later on today.

Basically, I am having a panic attack. I feel like this is going to push her away, but I also wanted to know where she stands. I’d never want to control her, by any means, but I don’t think I can continue seeing somebody that I am so attached to, if they are still dating several men. And, since she isn’t looking for a relationship, I wanted to talk about this now, before I set myself up to be hurt even more.

As I am awaiting her response, I am wondering if there is any tips for how to proceed from here. I am so nervous to lose this girl, and I am upset that I sent the message. However, after my last relationship, I promise to be better about expressing my needs.

If anybody has any wisdom, or suggestions, I would love to hear it.