How do I deal with feeling like I have to end a friendship because it causes me pain, but at the same time they were my only friend and having them around kept me a little bit sane (because loneliness is making me go insane and i am extremely suicidal at this point)



And i have to mention, i ended the frienship not because the person is toxic, he's great, im just mentally ill and always questioning whether I am still important to him. (because he's got another best friend who he hasn't even told me about.)

Basically, staying causes me pain. And leaving has caused me pain as well, along with insanity due to extreme loneliness. At least talking to them distracted me a bit.

I don't know what to do.