Recently my mom has been bashing my bpd in very discreet ways. She'll say things like 'you're disorder really affects those around you.", "It really annoys people around you.", "stop acting like you dont negatively affect people with your disorder". Whenever we get into an argument she'll say something like 'you always overreact to everything' and today she really said something that hurt me. As I am bulimic too, I tend to eat people's food without meaning too. I literally sometimes get extreme urges to have a diet coke and I'll just drink my moms which I know is wrong, and I did apologize. However, I'm a very emotionally sensitive persona and confrontation makes me cry so hard. Despite this, when my mom was calling me out on 'being so annoying and always eating peoples food', I kept it all in. Didn't say a single word besides the apology at the end. After she yelled at me about this (about 4 days ago), I went to my room and cried because I feel like I can't control my bulimia and its making people hate, mock and look down at me all the time. She saw my face after that and knew I was crying. She tried being nice as a way to 'apologize' but I tried not to acknowledge because I know that it would just make me all emotional again.

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Anyways, today she randomly brought up how I'm such an over reactor and that I cry about everything. She brought this up because I asked my brother why he had my yogurt, which if I was the one eating anyones food, I'd have to deal with the lecture. But since I do eat peoples food and hear them yell at me, its fine if they do it. Anyways, I just started balling at that point. I felt so attacked and I know I may have over reacted but im just so sick of people telling me that I over react because it feels so real in my head. I don't over react to annoy people, and if anything, it annoys me the most at the end. I just don't know what to do anymore. I hate being borderline and I hate being myself, I just want to die.