I live with a family member with BPD traits, and during episodes, she says and does things that are truly hurtful to me and others (hitting, breaking things, and saying incredibly hurtful things like ridiculing me over a sexual assault). I know that she is dysregulated and doesn't have full control over her behavior, but it is increasingly hard for me to just absorb all of that and then pretend like none of it happened when she is feeling better. I also fear that I am not doing her any favors in the long run because I am letting these behaviors be effective for her--basically, she uses them to make herself feel better in the moment, with no negative consequence. She is doing DBT, by the way, so maybe I just have to wait for her to progress more in that. IDK, and I welcome your thoughts.