I've been in a relationship for almost 5 years. Me: 39F him: 40M My partner (and I ) have dealt with depression off and on the whole relationship. We had a breakup 2 years ago that was largely us both being so depressed we were unable to see each other hurting . he was DX with severe depression in May. He refuses meds because of his personal beliefs. We have an 8 month old baby and I have teenagers from previous relationship. Our relationship has deteriorated to nothing. He is so miserable, negative, depressed. He has admitted to me he has intrusive thoughts. He has also admitted he is with me only for the baby. He wants to exist with me (live civilly together as co-parents) to be in the baby's life. He refuses the possibility of not being together and co-parenting while not living together. He works out of town so he's only home weekends. Here's my struggle: we are so unhappy. He's emotionally abusive to me. (I don't use that term lightly ) He is checked out of the relationship. I pay for almost everything in the household. (He makes good money - almost twice as much as I do) He pays for the vacations/dinners out/fun stuff and diapers. I feel like a single mom. Im exhausted. He doesn't help with the baby (I get up every night with her , feed, bathe, everything) I have a lot of resentment towards him because I went though depression and severe anxiety when pregnant and he was not there to support me. I understand that he doesn't recognize himself anymore because he is so deep into depression. He sits on the couch when he is home. That's about it. (Depression!) Im trying to put my hurt aside to help him but I don't know if I can. I feel awful contemplating ending the relationship for my mental health when it's his mental health that is a huge barrier in our way. My older kids see it and ask how long I'm going to put up with it, his negativity, his rudeness, his empty promises and they see that I'm raising their sister on my own. We are not partners but just shitty roommates at this point. I want to be there for him and help him find himself again, the man I fell in love with. But I'm struggling to stay in an absolutely toxic relationship. Just looking for insight ! Thank you !!