They always prioritized my older siblings and work over me. I dont recall seeing much of either of them growing up, and they definitely werent there when I was traumatized.

My relationship with them is much better now but they still prioritize work over me. I just asked my mom if they would come visit me for my birthday because all I want is to see them, and it's in 2 months and I figured that was enough time in advance for them to plan around their schedule ( I live 5 hours away from them and dont own a car) and she said they wouldnt be able to. 

I wanna die. I dont want my birthday to come. I've gone the past three years not seeing them for my birthday and the holidays. I'm never enough, something catastrophic has to happen for them to even give a little bit of a fuck. I just want them to put in the effort for me like they do my older siblings. 


Is that too much to ask for?? :(