It has been 11 months since my two-year relationship ended and i still cry about it. I don't think i know how to move on and i feel like everybody moved on except for me, im still stuck here waiting. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her. She is my first love so that's why I think it's so hard for me to move on. I don't know if it's normal to be like this or do normal people also take too long to move on.

I ended up blocking her on social media because I kept spiraling down and stalking her. I always end up hurting myself and I figured I at least needed to save myself so I blocked her. I think she already moved on to someone new. And it's just crazy to me how people can just not love you anymore.

I feel things way too intensely and I love hard. When I said i love you forever, I mean it and I'm afraid that I'd be stuck here loving someone who already moved on. I think I'll be stuck here for a long time. There are even people who told me that they like me but I'm not interested in anyone other than her. And it's so hard because the only person I actually wanna talk about this is her. Part of me wants to know if I'm the only one miserable or is she miserable without me too. 

I know that messaging her again is a wrong decision so I won't do that. They say that time heals all wounds, I just hope that it would heal mine too. I hope I never experience another heartbreak again. I wish I can give myself the same love that I poured out for her.