I think I'm just having a bad day in my recovery process. been crying all day since the morning. Just need to get it out there vent a little. Put verbatim what my ex said to me during the break up. I don't know why I need to do this but I need to vent.

"A long pattern"

"My feelings are changing since we've met"

"I tired ending things nicely a few times but you won't let me"

"But I constantly feel like this relationship isn't working for me"

"More often then feeling happy about us, I'm worried or sad or upset about something"

"It just doesn't work for me"

"Six months is enough time for me to get an idea of how it's going"

"Relationship is more than I can handle. I can't continue with it"

"I don't want to get back together"

"Something about the relationship doesn't work for me"

"Now that I'm on my own, feel less stressed, taking better care of myself, handling things better"

On making a life with me - "Sometimes I do, it's starting to change"

"I'm the kind of person who need something that just works"

On our unhealthy patterns which I wanted to work on - "Ours had had quite alot, more than I am capable of handling"

"I have my own problems. And I feel like I'm not dealing with them but rather focusing on us"

"I made a mistake. I don't see myself moving to \[where I live because it was an LDR\]. It scares me. I don't know anyone"

"I feel like it's a compatability thing. And it's been going on since \[a certain time\]"

"But I hide it when I'm unhappy or sad or anxious. But I'm not happy really in the relationship"

"For me, it's a feeling that's been growing since the first time I proposed we break up"

"My heart's not in it. Because the way I'm feeling has been changing"

"I feel like we tried. Like I've never tried this hard and it's just not there for me"

"But for me, we don't work in terms of a relationship"

"I tolerated things I normally wouldn't have"

"Too much for me."

"Sure of my decision. You just have to accept it"

"It's just a relationship that stresses me out"

"There's something that makes it not possible for me"

"Don't know what it is. Get really stressed. Like on alert"

"It's just a limitation for me. I just don't know how to see you upset and not go to emergency"

On trying again - "No. because there's been alot of hurt for both of us. Not fair to try again"

"I thought I could do alot of things but I can't"

"I made a mistake. I pursued it".

These are the words that are permanently seared into my mind. Now I release it into cyberspace because I can't keep it in my head. I'm so tired.