I've always had anxiety, it's as much me as my eye color, but now I'm at a point where I don't know if I can survive without trying a anti anxiety medication.

 For years now, I've been working with a seizure specialist, an endocrinologist, a gynecologist, a gastroenterologist, a primary care physician, and a therapist. Today I saw my endocrinologist about a host of horrific symptoms that according to Dr.Google is IBS and premature ovarian failure.

  My doctor broke down my symptoms and explained why my symptoms weren't all cohesive to one problem. She said she believes that my anxiety is causing all of these physical symptoms, especially because all of my blood work and tests have come back as normal. On top of that, about two years ago when I was formally diagnosed with seizures, my seizure specialist let me know that my seizures could be anxiety induced, he called it a "chicken or the egg" situation, where anxiety could be the cause or just made worse. My seizure meds haven't reduced my number of seizures at all. Anxiety is my only known trigger for seizures.

 I've heard anxiety meds and antidepressants refered to as a "chemical straight jacket" and read stories of people saying they lost a decade of their life because they were numbed out on pills, without emotions. My body is falling apart at every level and I really feel like I can't control my anxiety on my own, it keeps getting worse over time.

 I don't know what to do. I'm scared to try anxiety meds. I'm scared of getting used to feeling numb or forgetting my pills at home and having a panic attack without anxiety meds. 

 Does anyone have experience with these medications, positive or negative? I appreciate any perspective or advice. Thank you!