Obviously finding a healthy relationship for most people is difficult, but having BPD or any mental health issues does add a new dynamic to creating relationships and making sure those close to you can validate and empathize with the internal struggles those with mental health deal with. I also generally describe myself as gay and pretty genderqueer/genderfluid and have had to work through a lot of trauma that is associated with my sexual orientation and gender identity, due to circumstances out of my control.

I was in a Dialectical Behavioral Therapy group for a year and have been doing 1-on-1 therapy for several years, particularly during high school, college and right after I dropped out. I feel that my understanding of my diagnosis with the skills DBT provided has really helped me stand on my own two feet again, I’d like to try and open myself up to the idea of dating, but I feel my mental health, sexual orientation and gender identity all play a part in finding someone that is “right” for me. 

I’d like some advice on what other LGBTQIA+ people (and of course Allies!) with BPD do to make themselves more open to dating and setting themselves up for success when you struggle with mental health issues. Queer people already have a smaller pool of individuals to choose from, plus with the added emotional disregulation disorder, I feel quite limited in my options. 

I know someone will come into my life one day and accept me for who I am, but I want to have the tools necessary to make my next relationship not codependent and be open about my emotional state with my significant other. Do you possibly use a safe words involving your emotional state to let your partner know if you’re starting down the rabbit hole? How early did you bring up your diagnosis (if at all) during a relationship that’s starting to form?

💕 thank you for reading and any replies are greatly appreciated!