2 and a half months ago, it feels like a switch just flipped and nothing has felt the same since.  I never had big problems with anxiety before that incident.  Through therapy, I've discovered that some anxious thought patterns existed but they were never distressing or impacted me even a little.  One night while walking inside my house before bed, out of the blue, I felt an extreme tight feeling in the middle of my chest.  Went to the hospital and obviously nothing was wrong.

2.5 months and a whole bunch of physical symptoms later, I don't know what I can do anymore.  Every week I think I've felt it all and it always manages to get worse.  My anxiety has a large health component around it and I'm tired of feeling like my body is progressively deteriorating every day.

As of writing this, my chest, shoulders, and back have been in pain 24/7 for weeks.  The default is tightness but any kind of pain is possible, in any location, including multiple types/locations at once.

I had COVID a month ago and since then on one side the back of my throat into my neck has an irritation/soreness that varies in intensity all day.  This is accompanied by a feeling of congestion in the back of my nose and in my throat.  My throat also has these red lines on that one side.

I've been dizzy for 2 weeks straight.  I can stand, sit, lie down, close my eyes or open.  Nothing makes it go away whether I feel anxious or not.  Doing something as simple as moving my eyes/head or even eating make it worse.

A few days ago the dizziness became accompanied by headaches.  They move around and aren't really painful, but more a tight/heavy feeling.  I can feel it in various parts of my head when brushing certain areas of my teeth, opening/closing my mouth, or chewing food.  Sometimes my facial muscles feel weak on one side like I'm having a stroke.

I read exercise makes anxiety feel better.  I used to exercise all the time 2.5 months ago until my anxiety made me scared to do it.  After getting some confidence that my heart is fine from the cardiologist through some tests, I started back up for the first time in a month.  All I do is ride a stationary bike for 10 minutes.  This makes my heart rate go crazy high (up to 190) and it stays above 100 for up to an hour after exercise.  What's worse is my chest and back tightness/pain get worse during exercise and stick around for hours afterwards.  I feel like it triggers some hypersensitivity where I feel like garbage for hours afterwards.  After that doing literally anything, like just standing up will make my heart start pounding.  Talked to a social worker who said it didn't make sense that it was worse while exercising which of course made my fears that it's something physical worse.

Literally making dinner and holding anything remotely heavy while I use tongs to grab food out of it makes me dizzy, breathless, and feel pain.  I rationalize that it's the anxiety because otherwise I wouldn't be able to last 10 minutes on the bike or walk the 6-7km I do daily that I force myself to do.

I went from having good and bad days to my moods shifting every few hours.  I can feel like shit for up to days on end but can never string more than an hour or two of feeling at least decent.

This past weekend while driving for 45 minutes for the first time in my life I started thinking whether it was worth living if all I was ever going to feel all the time was pain.  I was holding back tears as I kept on having thoughts coming into my head of moving the car into the oncoming traffic lane.  I don't think I'm suicidal and I don't want to do it but it was scary having these thoughts pop into my head and not being able to do anything to stop them.  Thankfully they haven't come back since that one incident.  I'm planning on telling my psychologist tomorrow but have been holding back on telling any of my family.  I'm lucky to have people that care about me but not everyone understands anxiety and I think telling them will make them freak out.

I know people with anxiety have severe physical symptoms but can it really be this bad?  Like literally having all the symptoms, all the time.  No breaks whether I'm feeling anxious or not.  Making doing anything physically uncomfortable.

I have interviews for professional/grad school coming up and I finally mustered the strength to start practicing today.  I feel like I'm going to blank out or my pain is going to flare up during my interviews making me ruin all the work I've put in these past years in undergrad that got me the interviews in the first place.

I'm thinking of medication but worry whether it's too early considering its only been 2.5 months of my anxiety starting and only a month of therapy.  But at the same time doing anything feels like a chore.  I literally have to force myself to do things and while I'm able to push through some times I feel like shit all the time (both mentally and physically).

I've talked to my family doctor who tells me it's just anxiety and I just need to calm down or start taking antidepressants and to call him once I've made that decision.