Hello and yes i am talking about the time when you just realise that you have started to experience psychotic episode. I will say it must be a coping mechanism that started as i would think as a way for my mind to block any more emotional pain than i already received these days.
Actually have the symptoms for couple of days for sure and nobody seems to have noticed. 

Three years ago on this date i and my partner started our relationship and the date 26th was chosen by us to have it officially and to celebrate it every year, you know what i mean.

Three years later now we are blaming eachother for our current mental state that we have chosen to put in ourselves.

I decided to write not for anything but more because i realised that this time i did not get the compassionate response we the people with Schizophrenia expect to receive from our close ones. 

EDIT
Anyway, i must have communicated it after all with my partner, so he came to me and took that emotional "load"  i was loaded with. Now the red line i was talking about, i am crossing it back and closing that door with bad experiences that would otherwise lead me straight to the psychiatric ward.

Thanks for listening and not judging me or for judging me but sparing me from that, or not even..