Hey there,

Well I really didn't know what I should do so I thought i can just write a thread and relieve myself a bit.   
I'm 23 years old and Im at college atm. I struggled early with depression, it all started when I was 17. I was in therapy for about 3 years and I thought I finally defeated depression. But it came back. Hard. Im pretty sure the whole corona shit is doing its part too, but the 5 month without corona really didn't helped me to get back on my feet. Im feeling lonely, sad, misunderstood and just hated by everyone. I just want to cry but I can't. Im trying to stay positiv but I really can't. I really don't feel like getting up when my college stuff starts. Im nearly doing anything the whole day. Im just sitting there on my couch, thinking how much I hate everything and I really don't see any point in succeeding. Watching the news, everybody hates everyone. The whole world is a fucking joke. We have so much problems but I think nobody really cares about anything but themselfs.

Im like a hybrid. Im not introverted but also not extroverted. I like to do something with my friends and family but I also like to be alone and just chill and do whatever I want to do. But at the moment I really can't hang with anyone. I don't like company but I want it so bad. I don't have anybody to tell all my problems but i want to. Nobody understands me, atleast thats what I think.

My life isn't really bad but I just don't understand why Im so depressed. I have everything I need... Partents which love me more than anything, friends which help me when I need them, but nobody really understands what happens if you have depression. I once talked to them when I was 18 and told some of my friends. Most of them really didn't know what to do. And I can't blame them for not knowing how to handel the situation. I mean I really don't want to let anyone feel bad for anything. 

Just wanted to share that with you guys and maybe someone can help me through all of this or has a good advice. Im really out of options...

&amp;#x200B;

Have a good one folks