I don’t know if any of you can relate to this and I don’t 100% know why I do it. I’m going to assume it’s because I’m insecure and crave attention. I love being told that I’m attracted or wanted. I’ve been having a FWB relationship with a coworker who I genuinely thought was physically unattractive the first time I saw him. I didn’t fully like his personality either. Over months I convinced myself to find him attractive because of how much attention he was giving me, but while we have sex or afterwards I’m still kind of grossed out. Yet I keep doing things with him. I love and crave his compliments/attention. 

Literally what the fuck? My current situation has made me realize that I have forced myself to be attracted to someone or had sex with someone I was not attracted to a couple of other times before. I do want to add that the sex I am having with my FWB is good. I just get grossed out by him. 

I feel kind of disgusting and almost disturbed with myself for being like this. Why am I like this? Have any of you experienced this and overcame it? I don’t even know where I would begin to overcome this…