We've been together 32 years. My BPD did not escalate and become more apparent until my twins were born. I have always had abandonment issues and that is usually what triggers my BPD. We've had peaceful talks about solutions to our predicament. I do not want to divorce &amp; I believe she would rathee not as well, but she says my mental illness has broken her. I can hold it together for a few weeks to a few months, but then I just destroy her emotianlly and then lovebomb her to get her to stay. I don't mean to, but do not realize what I have done until after it is done.

I do not want this is drag out. The only real asset we have is our house which is completely paid for. I would ask that she take full custoday of the kids. I am not violent, but can be emotionally abusive and worry with my sadness over the divorce I will lash out.

Sometimes I get a moment of clarity and see all the things I have done to tear this relationship apart. Most times I think how can she be so cruel in a time where I need her the most.

I love my wife and kids, but we've tried all the therapies to help me and I am not getting any better.

I think I would rather opt for a mediated divorce. I do not see me fighting over anything because in the long run it will healthier for my kids because eventually they will see what a healthy, happy and calm home is supposed to look like.

Is there anyone here that has gone through a peaceful divorce with their spouse given your bpd?

Thanks for any advice anyone is willing to give.