Anyone else? Idk I know I need friendships or a relationship and such but recently have had 0 desire for it.

My main BFF and I have been friends for 5 years. We met when we both had abusive boyfriends, and so we got through it together. But honestly I think our best friendship should've ended there.
Our personalities are wildly different. She's very much a "pick me" girl. She purposely says embarrassing things in front of people about me She's very spoiled, and isn't the most present parent do her kid. Whereas with my BPD I get very standoffish. Pretty introverted and I don't like people.

Apparently guys are attracted to that. And she gets jealous? Like she has tried to intervene several times in boys ive talked to because she "was blacked out or drugged" "she knows what's best for me". She has honestly made most people I've ever talked to hate her.

And now she crossed the line again and im just done. And with any friendship in general, I have no mental or physical energy for any social interactions. Im angry, heartbroken, and confused rn. I just dont feel the need to include other people.

Shes making me feel bad for blowing her off but I just dont feel like being around her. Should I just push past it and force myself to find friends? Or hang out with current friends?