For example this person was a good friend of mine until he did something that triggered me into feeling abandoned. before that i considered him one of my best friends never upset me, all good. then i was obviously super upset, hated him for about a month and a half. then i started talking to him again just due to the closeness of our friend group. to be honest i was scared they would choose to be his friend and leave me behind so i allowed that gap to be mended. i can’t stop going between loving that he’s in my life again and hating him due from perceived abandonment from not wanting to do things w me or the way he words things etc. I’m exhausted of going between this idealization and devaluation cycle and it’s only been abt a week since he came back into my life. 
Bringing this up in therapy tomorrow.