We got into a big fight yesterday and he got so angry the neighbors called the police. I lied for him like I always do, but today he kept acting annoyed that I was upset about what happened. 
So he left when we were arguing which is my biggest trigger. He went to his friends house and ignored my calls and so when he finally called me back I told him I had texted my ex. 
Now he says he's done. He keeps hanging up on me. He said he doesn't love me. He blocked my number. I didn't even text my ex I was just losing it over him leaving me. He was my whole world and I feel like I'm dying. I don't have any friends or family, he was all I had for the last 3 years and now he's really gone. How can he just cut me off like this? He didn't even sound upset. It hurts so much.

Are breakups this hard for everyone? Is it just my BPD? How do I get it to stop making my want to kill myself? I keep telling myself he has to come back but I know he isn't this time. I am so attached to him and now I'm just spinning between grief, anxiety and emptiness. 
