pretty sure i have bpd (among other issues) and I feel horrified and calm at the same time as I finally write it before my own eyes, with my own hands. I am well aware of the pain I have inflicted in hopes of attaining love I am not haelthily working to create. i've always been suspicious of people's compliments, felt lonely and alienated for few justifiable reasons, and have often warped myself in the attempts of becoming like someone so that I might feel loved and complemented like they.  the lengthy bridges I've crossed only to burn them...I'm impulsive, ingratiating, imaginative, and mostly terrified. I think I am so afraid of confronting this reality of who I am that I would love to thwart it aside in favor of other issues in my life, but it's clear that this one is too prominent to fairly ignore. I don't know if I will ever be happy but I feel confident it is the right thing to do.

&amp;#x200B;

also I in know way mean to disrespect JK Rowling or Harry Potter but i so identify with Harry's childlike way of questioning Sirius about death at the end of the 7th book. He asks, "Does it hurt?" and Sirius responds, "Not at all." I feel extremely vulnerable and I just want no hurting to take place. 