Hey, I've never posted here on this sub but i wanted to share my story.

About a Year ago everything went wrong for my boyfriend. He really fell in a deep hole. He started to cut himself, stopped talking to his parents and just ate all day. It was so hard for me to see all the signs even though he had a smaller breakdown about 2 years ago.

This whole thing went for 2 months, I really tried to help him with organizing his stuff, making appointments with his doctor's so he would not loose his job, but everything I did was just wrong. 

He even started to get mad at me, started to cut himself when I was at his place, everywhere were laying Kleenex with blood. I was not ready for this kind of situation, I was not able to move, I was not able to think. I am also depressed but i know how to deal with it because I had two years of therapy. But i just knew how to deal with myself and not how to act when someone else is so depressed. Depression is such a personal thing, I was not even laying with my boyfriend in his bed I was laying with the personification of his depression in his bed. 

And that was where I just telled the family of my boyfriend everything. The family just lost their beloved granddad at this time, and everyone was just sad in this family. But i needed to take action, so we drove him to a psyc. Clinic and they immediately started to help him and give him his room.

The day this happened, my boyfriend was so mad at me that he wanted to end things with us. But i knew that it was his depression that was saying those things. The same evening, he called me and apologized. 

Since know he really did a great job and I am so proud of him. He is just doing great. He did a full 180.

But one year later, i start to think about those things that happened. I think I have to see a therapist to stop thinking about it.
I think I could have acted earlier, he went through so much and I was just stunned. My self esteem isn't the best and I am also wondering about my intelligence.

There are also other factors like this whole online university shit, that's just so energy consuming.