I had surgery 4 years ago and I was bedridden for 4 years and just was able to walk last year but recently started to have blood circulation problems due to my surgery which inhibited me from moving about. Due to all the medicines I have been taking my weight increased. Now Im unable to move about normally and do the things I was able to do. I miss life, the things I did years ago. Now I just stay inside my room, eat, sleep.  also sometimes think of ending my pain permanently but I know this happened for a reason. Even when I explain it to my friends and colleagues they just don't understand what I'm going through. Until now, the pains are still here, inhibiting 
me from being a normal person going outside of the house.