Hi, my teen sister has been suffering from anxiety, depression, anger issues, paranoia for now two years. There is a family history of mental illnesses, my dad and my older sister are bipolar and suffer from depression as well as anxiety. I have anxiety as well. 

During the last year we have come to notice that the way my sister behaves goes along with how someone with BPD behaves, but she has not being diagnosed yet. She likes to cut her legs and arms, she struggles with school and she is really sensitive, it feels like we are always walking on eggshells.

My family and I have read books, and researched a lot about it to find ways to help her. She has had two psychiatrist, multiple counsellors, two therapists and even had to work with social workers because she wanted to leave school, as it was a trigger for her. Also, she has been in three medications so far but nothing seems to work. Additionally, we do not have money to pay for private mental health care and the free Canadian mental health care consists on waiting 6 months or more for referrals etc...

My family and I are hopeless, it seems like our life, our days will always depend on her having a good day or not. My parents have reached the point where they allow her to do whatever she wants, she does not have boundaries anymore because any time we try to set a limit or encourage her to do something (homework, shower or simply clean after herself) it triggers her and ends driving her to what we call a “crisis” or to cut herself. These turn into hours of crying, arguments, violence and we all end up exhausted, missing work/school and drained for the rest of the week. It has also deeply affected our relations as a family and  worsen our mental health.

I write this because the other day my mom said “I wish I could talk to someone who is going through the same, but our situation is so complex that I bet no one else does”, so I wonder if there is anyone else going through the same and that could offer some advise or share their story.

Thanks!