Important to note: my parents are not together. My mom and my dad both have new partners.

When I was 11, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Clinical.

When I was 14, I was diagnosed with PTSD, due to an incident at the hospital when I was 13, as well has psychical and verbal abuse from my mothers ex-boyfriend.

My dad isn’t much involved with my mental health, but that’s okay. he understands it, and does his best to help out, he just doesn’t know a lot about it.

My mom is different. My mom uses my illness against me. She has in the past called me “crazy”, “idiot”, “dumb”, “miserable to be around”, and “difficult, and on one occasion I overheard her tell my sister “I hate him SO much”

She sighs if I ask her something, she’ll roll her eyes, or straight up ignore me. She also will not hesitate to tell me “shut the fuck up”.

She often refers to my medication as “anti-psychotics” when she understands they are not. there is nothing wrong with being on anti-psychotics, but she knows that if someone over hears her, they will think I am some sort of violent person, when I am not.

The worst thing she does is weaponize my illness against me. She knows I have difficulty feeling comfortable with her boyfriends, since her old boyfriend destroyed my things, yelled at me, and would be so aggressive with me he would sometimes knock me out.

There are many examples, but here is the most recent of her taking advantage:

ME: Okay can I take my shot first?
MOM: No, take your pills first.
ME: I have an order I like to do this, can you please give me the shot first? The pills make me nauseous for a few minutes.
MOM: Take them now.
ME: No.
MOM: [boyfriend name] I need help with [my name].

Then I immediately obeyed, since she knows I’m terrified of her boyfriend.

What do I do? I can’t let someone control me using my disability, but she knows how to manipulate and scare me.