He probably won't. He's happily jaunting around with the girlfriend he's been cheating on, so I cease to exist.

I don't know if I'm really in love or just mentally ill and obsessed but we've got so close over this year and he strung me along. He knew how I felt and I tried to discuss it with him before it became a bigger problem but we never had that conversation and its provably because he enjoyed having a local side piece and the amount of love and attention my obsessive brain gave him. 

His gf lives out of country and hes not spoken to me for a couple weeks since she's been here, I always knew this would happen but I legit convinced myself that he would realise I'm the one, I'm a fucking idiot. 

We live fairly close so I've barely left the house incase I see them, its honestly just ripping my heart to bits. I've felt like this before but normally my feelings aren't reciprocated, this time they were but they were fake as fuck and its Christmas day and I'm worrying myself over this shit. He's gonna have a perfect day  

Anyway, I just needed to let some emotions out before I burst my valve. Gonna pour myself a pint and wait this out 

Merry Christmas though