Wtf is wrong with me

I hate being alone. Every time my family goes on vacation, I just miss them and get really depressed until they get back, but whenever they’re at home, all I wanna do is be alone on my room. 

It’s like my own feelings contradict each other and it fucking sucks. I feel like a bad son, and I feel like I’m just pushing my family away. I’m scared they think I don’t care about them when I do