I had my first in person day back in uni today since March 2020. My boyfriend and my flatmate travelled the two hours to my uni with me to help keep me calm. I survived 30 minutes into my 2 hour lecture before my brain went into full panic mode, and I left out the back door of the lecture hall. I locked myself in the toilets for like half an hour, just trying to convince myself I was okay enough to go get the train home and admit to my bf and flatmate that I couldn't deal with it.
I was so convinced I could do it, and I'm so annoyed I can't sit for two hours without my brain going into full-on panic mode.
I feel like I was so rude for walking out a quarter of the way through a lecture, so I'm going to email him apologising and explain what's going on. 
I don't know what to do. This is my last year. I just failed two modules, and I'm really behind already. I really need to try and figure out what I'm doing with uni because I've got 4 months left and I want my degree at the end of it 
Sorry for the rant just needed to get it off my chest.