    Im just in thought, I been to myself the last few days because I been in one.   And it has me thinking, how, there is more than one type of bpd episode

  The one I have gotten good in controlling is the first one im talk about.   The one where each thought links after something triggers you.  It might not even hit you at first.  

      "What did he mean by she had a pretty life"

 The episodes where you start to have repetitive thinking, the one where our deductive parts of our brain go haywire and we start connecting everything to that one little trigger.  

      What started out as an annoyance, a mosquito, builds and builds, until its a grizzly bear.  

  And you feel compelled to act.  

   Then you look batshit, for having a whole story but no proof. 

   This type of episode, I have learned to calm naturally as I aged. 
 
   I stay quiet when I get those types.  I scream, curse out, punch them in the face in my head, but I dont respond right away. 

I sit on it....if im still angry about it in 30 minutes, that means, I had a valid reason 

If not, it dispates like it was never there, and I laugh at myself for being the way I am

  There's another symptom for me, or maybe I do have a undiagnosed bipolar combination.  (But I don't think so because it doesn't last long(

  There's days I wake into a mood.  Days I wake  up irritable, or depressed, or fucking anxious.  And even if my mood switchea in the day, I will feel that main feeling behind all the other ones.  

  This I dont have control over.  Would that be consider bpd or a something different. Since to me, it seems like these episodes are a mind of their own

Or is it that it was a delay.  Like something I saw triggered me a week but my body is not reacting to it until later.   Subconsciously

  I hate the latter episodes.  I feel like they are stronger than the first ones, and last more the whole day.... .


Last week I was manic-like and I loved it (if ima be honest), I couldn't sleep alot. I had massive energy. Friendly 

  This week, antisocial and irritable. Depressive

Why are people telling me good morning?  Whats so good about the morning? On Monday leave me alone. Antisocial me

On Tuesday,

I want someone to say something to me because I feel like I want to fight. Im ready and irritable 

On Wednesday,

Depressive,  I hate myself.      I'll never find love.   I should die


Today: just empty.  Plain. Just okay 

I call today plain Jane. Where I dont really feel anything. Empty 

Does anyone else know what im talking about?