I had been on an antipsychotic for 3-4 years but was still occasionally but pretty consistently having “psychotic” episodes. A year ago i started dating a girl with BPD and she started pointing out similarities in our behavior and telling me to look into it with my team. I asked my mother, who’s had a BPD diagnosis for 10 years, about my behavior and she told me that I’m just like her. So I talked to my psychiatrist about it and I switched therapists to someone who specialized in BPD. (I’ve only done the intake) My psychiatrist put BPD as one of my diagnoses along with Schizoaffective bipolar type and ADHD because she said it could possibly be the reason I haven’t responded well to treatment. Now I haven’t been on my antipsychotic of 4 years for a month now and haven’t had any “psychotic” episodes. I would like to add that at this point in my life there aren’t many stressors that could make me feel so extreme. Honestly though, i have no fucking idea what this means for me and what the future of my treatment will be like. I’ve spent the last 4 years I’ve been in treatment researching schizophrenia and learning more about the illness i was told I had. I guess I just wanna say some of the behaviors I have to really know what I’m exhibiting that people think is BPD. First of all I hate working with men or having friends that are men, I only want to be around women even though I’m in a wonderful relationship and don’t have any romantic or sexual interests in them. When I’m told “no” by someone I will either beg or get very angry or both. I basically lock myself in my apartment and only socialize with my girlfriend, my mother, and my treatment team. I like talking to women and lead them on only to reject them if they try to pursue anything above a shallow friendship. When I’m going through extreme levels of stress I hallucinate and will often times hurt the people I love out of extreme anger. Not physically but emotionally. I achieve this by hurting myself out of spite or threatening to do so. This is something that my mother and I have stopped doing to each other for years now and something that my girlfriend and I have recently stopped doing to each other ~ 2-3 months. I will often times think of ways to hurt people for the smallest of reasons but I quickly dismiss such thoughts which I used to compulsively think about. Last of all, I will zone out for brief periods of time all throughout the day. Sometimes I will find that I’ve been standing at the toilet for minutes after having finished using it, or I will just do whatever I am doing but sort of on auto pilot and very slowly, I actually, last week, zoned out for a few minutes scratching a hole in my leg only to then come back and find blood on my fingers and leg. I have very bad depression that mostly involves doing nothing all day and neglecting everything I need to do. Is this a typical thing that people with BPD suffer with? These are the behaviors that i think made my GF question my first diagnosis.