My mental health has been awful for months, and my BPD has been worse than ever. I have been thinking about going to stay with my parents for a few weeks while I find a therapist and sort myself out a little. 

My FP/boyfriend triggers the worst of my BPD symptoms and I have been thinking a break might give me some time to think clearly or get a breather, even though the idea of spending time away from him makes me feel suicidal. That is the very thing that I’m trying to stray from. 

The other problem is that my parents were mentally and emotionally abusive growing up, and I don’t necessarily like being there even though throughout the past year our relationship has improved a bit. I could try to stay with a friend but I would feel bad intruding for several weeks. 