In all seriousness, make fun of me, I deserve it.

I'm already starting to lose hope about this interview even though I know all I have to do is show up. This job could change the way I live my life, where I live, how I feel about myself, so many things. But I'm going to chicken out and just not go. Even though it's still 7 days away, I'm just going to quit right now.

Why? Because that's the safe option. I already know I'm going to be sore from head to toe from day one and that's uncomfortable, I prefer comfort. I'd rather sit on my ass all day playing roblox, minecraft or fallout 76.

This is how pathetic i am. I trade all these things away because I'm so scared of the unknown. What happens when i lose my SSI because of this job and then suddenly get the urge to quit? Then what? Then I'm screwed! It's just safer all around to not go.

That's not even mentioning the fact that I have no clue what I'll be doing, something about hand grinding whatever that means. It's for a manufacturing company called Vallourec, making $15/hr. More money than I've ever made in my life, almost twice as much as I make on SSI.

This job changes everything. It changes how I live, instead of sitting around playing games I'll be working my butt off 5 days a week. It changes where I live, instead of crappy rundown apartments, I can afford to move into some actually decent apartments instead. It changes what I do to have fun, instead of playing video games I'll be going out to go camping and fishing, enjoying the outdoors. It changes every single thing about my life and where my life is going but I'd rather just quit, right here, right now!

So hit me with your worst!! Tell me hoe pathetic I truly am! Tell me how worthless my life is! Tell me I should end it all! Tell me nothing but the truth. Tell me how much of a disappointment I am to the human race! Tell me I'm a loser!

I deserve it and so much more. I'd offer you front row seats to the day I finally decide to kill myself if I could but I can't. Maybe if I got this job I'd even be able to afford to fly you out here to watch! But we all know the truth here. We all know by now how pathetic I am.