Pretty much as the title says. I find myself to be an anxious partner in a relationship. The honeymoon phase is awesome as it always is but as soon as a partner is shifting his/her attention I begin to wonder if they have lost interest in me. In my rational mind, I know that this is untrue and that they most likely fokus on something else atm and that they didnt loose attraction for me. Alltho I find myself to be anxious in such situation. It is some kind of anxiety of loosing them. I think that this stems from a believe, that his/her rejection MUST mean that I have some deeply undesirable traits that make them want to get rid of me.

 Now again in my rational mind, I know that this is untrue because by relatives and friends always tell me what an awesome and warmhearted dude I am. Alltho in moments of percieved rejection, even tho that it is most likely not a rejection, I find my mind overdriving in the fear that I will loose this person. Now I am completely aware that this kind of thinking is changing my behaviour to be more anxious and that this will ultimately be a factor for the other person leaving me, which will result in a self-fulfilling prophecy. To know this should be a solution to me but it is also stressing me out the more. 

Somewhere in my mind I hold the believe that only a relationship will make me ultimately happy, because I see my purpose in life to be a family man sometime in my life, so I want to take the right steps into that direction and rejection must mean that there is something everyone sees as undesirable in me, even if it is only that anxiety in itself. 

In theorie, I know that this belief is a untrue fact that only a relationship will make me ultimately happy in life, but I dont really see the background behind that statement.

Now to give some more context, I am in therapy atm and I will work on these kind of problems and hope to achieve an honest and working solution for me.