I make so many friends and I’m so kind to them. Some people throw me away but some don’t. But they all do eventually. I just collect people and friends and make them happy so I can be on this earth because if it wasn’t for them I would be gone. I don’t know what to do anymore. My marriage is failing. My life is failing. I don’t even have a career. I gave my dog away last year and he was the only thing that loved me unconditionally. I need to fix myself. But I have so many issues I don’t even know where to start or if I want to. I’m tired of feeling this way but I can’t get the strength to push forward. My eyes hurt from crying. My head hurts from crying. I don’t want to eat because that’s what makes me gain weight and I’m sure that’s why everyone hates me because I’m disgusting. I just want this to end. I’m so tired of being so sad. I tried therapy but I couldn’t get through it without numbing myself. So I stopped therapy because I just numbed myself to the point of no return. And now I’m just nothing.