I am not a philosopher, well, I guess everyone who ponders these thoughts is, but I do not study philosophy. I have just been shaken to my core over free will, and for reasons I can't explain, I need help. I am hoping some of you guys who have dealt with this can help me to figure out how to just go on. Assuming the lack of free will is true, how can one deal with his/her anxiety from realizing the fact that he isn't in control of any of his thoughts? I understand my choice matters and it affects the people around me but the fact that I am not in control of anything still remains. I think I've lost all my motivation because every time I work on something or try to improve myself I know I am not the absolute chooser of those decisions. I understood that there was no logical reason for me to hate or judge anyone ever again, that they aren't responsible for anything, and I profoundly dislike this. I want everything to be like before.