So as the title says I'm 38. Alcoholic that has not had a drop for 5 yrs. Married. 2 kids. I wake go to work. Think about leaving work once I get there. Come home take a nap. Wake. Sit around until bedtime. Repeat. I smoke a lot of weed in between from wake until sleep. Hate it but I can't find energy to change it. I'm on an SSRI med. With a kick of valium that I occasionally take. The thought of doing something else seems fantastic but the work it would take seems too much to me. I have people fooled im just a very content person living simply. I just have such a wave of mania and depression throughout my whole day. I am trapped! Just venting.