so im an undiagnosed, because mental health is taboo in my culture, international student who recently graduated college. i just found out today that my work permit was denied which means i'll have to go back home soon. 

i was planning on staying one more year to work to help my family and repay them for supporting my education but now that's not going to happen. i somehow also knew that i wont be getting the approval, but seeing the letter hurts still.

what hurts more is my family reassuring me that its okay, that there must be a reason why i didnt get it and there will be something better in store for me. i just feel worse because they spent so much money on me but now ill be going home feeling like a total failure. im just so so so tired i haven't been feeling any emotions for a while now and when i finally did, it was this overwhelming feeling of sadness. im so exhausted and im lost idk im sorry for rambling