I withdraw and avoid when I get anxious. Right now we are working in groups with people we don’t even know on zoom. I really hate it and dread it, eventhough people are nice. So I was gone for a (long) while because I was sick, kids were sick and other things. I ended up avoiding everybody because I felt guilty and really shitty about not being able to be there and scared they would be mad at me. We have an exam coming up, so I understand it is extremely annoying for them that I haven’t been taking part in the group discussions, I only followed by reading on my own. So I gathered all my courage and wrote and apologised and I thought I was back on track, they were of course annoyed with me but that’s only fair. So this morning I went on zoom thought I used the right link, but they were not there at the time we agreed on so after a little bit I texted and asked them if it was the right time. I got an even more angry response calling me unambitious. Again, I completely understand it and they have every right to be annoyed but that made me even more nervous and I ended up having a small break down and completely withdraw. I never went to their meeting after that because I was now crying and feeling even more shitty. And i feel weak and embarassed and what I am doing is not fair and just want to take a re exam this summer alone.