I just went through a loss recently, before that I’d been feeling exceedingly alone and was just starting to kind of climb out of it. Now I have to deal with that tragedy; And the thought of dealing with it along with frigid 15 hour a day darkness for basically the next 5.5 months while I grieve, the thought of commuting to work every day in my frozen hell hole of a town that I live in… it makes me want to not do this. I’m not talking about suicide, I just mean crawling in a hole somewhere and not participating in anything that adult humans have to do on a regular basis besides eat, sleep and use the bathroom. I used to love winter when I was a kid, but all kids kind of like winter because it just means fun snow activities and Christmas. As an adult, winter is just dealing with my shit life while also having to deal with trying not die while getting to work.