I just feel like shit, I thought I'd finally beat health anxiety but it's come back and it feels just like the first time. This all started from some swollen lymph nodes that were caused by the vaccine and my mind decided to convince me they were caused by some type of c\*. I was completely distraught for almost a month and I kept finding new illnesses and types of c\* to obsess over. In that month I convinced myself I had about 6 different kinds of c\*, I had a trip to the ER, a panic attack almost every day, and I lost 10 pounds. There's one specific brain tumor that I'm absolutely *terrified* of and I'm just horrified of the thought of ever having it. It's an extremely rare brain tumor that typically only affects children but the stats don't even make me feel better, I just keep thinking about how there are people my age or older who have it. There's a higher chance of someone my age dying from Covid than having this tumor but I'm just so incredibly terrified. There's no cure for it either. I felt like I was having "symptoms" of it more than a month ago and I read that it's a very degenerative disorder, so most patients start having symptoms a month before their diagnosis. I told myself that if I didn't have any other symptoms or felt better in a month, I'd just drop it. Well, it's been more than a month and I'm having a panic attack over it again. It just sucks because I thought I was finally over this, I was getting a lot better and for more than 2 weeks I felt really happy and I wasn't thinking about it at all. And then a few days ago I saw something about it and I completely freaked out again. I know that recovery is a process and I'm working with a great therapist, but I just wish I didn't have to feel like this right now. I hate having panic attacks and being so consumed by fear.