I've had depression since high school and have had 2 traumatic events in my life. After the second one in my second summer of college, the passing of the person who raised me, I became really lonely and unstable especially with one of my best friends doing mandatory military service and the other in another city far away. So I sought friends like mad, enlisting in a ton of social events and clubs, and found a group of people to hang out with. I was still super unstable tho and I eventually had a falling out with them. I was hearing voices and other bad things (won't go into all the details). That school year I had really bad grades, flushing my academic dreams down the toilet, in the mental ward during my finals, etc... When covid hit I left to my home country. I went to the hospital and they diagnosed me with bipolar disorder after a lengthy stay in the mental ward. Took a long gap year and a half from college while taking medication and regularly visiting the doctor. Eventually I went back to college and tho I was worried at first since I had forgotten everything among other things, I adjusted. I stopped hearing voices and other bad things after taking my meds for a while in my home country. In college, my best friend in the military had come back and I was doing well in classes. I still had existential crises from time to time however and was so anxious I couldn't sleep on the night before a final. I tell the doctor I'm fine but still feel existentially anxious, especially with no work experience to my name, mediocre grades, a need to get a masters for a job, etc.. Am I really fine?