And I am almost certain that I won't ever experience real love. 

I feel like my options are either : be an emotional abuser or be emotionally abused. 

I don't want that. 

I feel like I will always be alone. 

Sure, I have great friends. It's not the same. 

I think all humans need that intimacy that can only come from a romantic partner/significant other. 

I think my fear of death has really just gone away in recent months. I don't want to go on through  the rest of my life feeling like this. 

I used to always want a family, and now i just feel like if i ever got married, my husband would leave me and my kids would resent me. 

I am very afraid of myself. And more so afraid of romantic relationships. When I meet other men, I just freak out inside and want to run away whenever I feel like someone is hitting on me. 

I come home and silently cry in my room. I don't want to talk to anyone about my feelings anymore. 

I am just going to start telling everyone i am doing great. 

Making money is all I care about now and I really hope I die young. 