So first off, I am not an expert. I am not “cured.” I am still very much flawed as a human and have a ton to learn about being a better person in general.

Getting that out of the way… Something I learned after a LOT of work, was asking myself “why do I feel this way?”

The thing is… WE CANNOT MAKE OUR “WHY”S CIRCUMSTANTIAL IF THEY ARE RECURRING ISSUES!

There are absolutely issues in your life that will happen that are unique to you, the related party and your circumstances with each other… That is inevitable.

BUT… there are also issues which involve you, your feelings and those involved/your environment or what-have-you, to where it is a a different issue, but the feeling for this issue is very familiar to you.

This is where I’m directing my advice. If you feel a negative feeling towards someone and it is a familiar feeling (either directed toward this individual or directed toward a certain “feelings bank” you’ve accumulated), stop just for a second, and ask yourself “Why do I feel this way?”

I think we as a whole have a VERY hard time with the “why” of things, but it is VERY important to at least ask yourself that. Keep asking “why???” until you get to an answer, whether it makes you uncomfortable or not.

If the base “why” makes you uncomfortable/confused/or totally inexplicable to your reasoning… you should seek professional help immediately.

If the base “why” makes sense to you and resonates with your overall sense of being.. you should probably still seek professional help, full stop. There are lots of external resources to help you along the though.