Hi! :) Does anybody else feel like this/feel similarly? 

This is a bit hard for me to explain, as is everything to do with BPD, so bare with me. Please, excuse my English, as it's not my first language. :( So, I'll be talking to someone, be it IRL or online, (the feelings are usually way worse when its IRL tho) and I'll actually feel good for once! I'll be talking about whatever's on my mind, basically just emptily rambling at that point, laughing and joking around, and suddenly, even if they're responding well and keeping up the energy, it's like a switch flips for absolutely no reason. Immediately, I start thinking about how I'm talking too much, being annoying, forcing them to talk to me,  overwhelming them. Which kills the mood and then I feel even worse. And don't get me started on how much worse it is if they don't have anything to say to my weirdly detailed 20 minute long ramble about the frosting on the donut I ate yesterday. I completely understand that you can't have a response for everything, hell, I'm the exact same. And I know, just because they don't have a response, doesn't mean they're not interested, but still. It feels like hell. Because of this, normal human interaction is excruciatingly difficult for me. Its just like no matter what someone says or does, I'll still find a way to feel bad. 

Thanks in advance for your responses :) and I'm sorry if something like this has already been discussed :( I just feel really alone in this disorder at times and a place like this makes me feel seen. If anyone struggles with this as well, have you found any ways of coping with it? The switch flips, I start blabbering stuff like "Oh my god, I'm being so annoying. I'm so sorry. I need to shut up." and even if they reassure me that that's not the case, it doesn't help. I try to tell myself I'm not annoying, but it doesn't help. Any tips for just... talking, I guess? Lol

Have a good day/night :)