i was convinced that today was it. i’ve never felt so convinced to leave this earth until today. i had a breaking point. a friend reached out and we spoke for hours. i vented for a while. i cleaned my room, put a movie on, ate a meal. and now i have to tell myself that tomorrow is a new day. 

i suffer from major depressive disorder, anxiety &amp; PTSD. years of on going trauma have resulted in me having a nasty addiction to alcohol. my plan is to phone some rehab centers in the morning to try and get a bed. i just want to feel better &amp; i think i’m ready. 

i deserve to be here and i’ll never stop fighting for a clear peace of mind. i just want to be happy.