I’m sure there are plenty of success stories of BPD and ASD relationships, but I’m not sure mine will be one of them. I’ve come a long way in my BPD treatment. I’m in my late 30s now, and have lived and learned a lot. 

I’ve been dating my aspie bf for 3 years, and his inability to understand or validate my feelings makes me feel so alone. Sometimes I spiral into feeling unloved and unwanted and, frankly, like I shouldn’t exist. In some ways, I think it has made me stronger because I have to live without the drug of validation that I’m always seeking. But, idk, maybe there has to be a balance. 

It’s weird because when I was younger, I dated guys who gave me tons of validation and it was never enough for me. Now I don’t get much at all. Is this actually healthier? Is this going to destroy me? I just want to feel loved and connected, and his deficits are such that it makes it difficult for him to make me feel that way. But I recognize that it’s difficult for anyone to make me feel that way. I do like a lot about him. Maybe I’m too sensitive. Maybe this relationship is just toxic. It’s really hard for me to sort out. 

I do know that I’m often profoundly unhappy, but I was profoundly unhappy with more emotionally intelligent guys, too. I wonder if no matter how far I’ve come, if I’ll always feel profoundly unhappy deep in my core. 

This was a lot. It is a lot. Any thoughts are welcome if you can weed through my rambles.