Hello,  32M here 

Like most I hate my job and been doing for 10 years now, I have no skill and social skill to change it.

in dec 2020 i was doctor told me i had OCD ( i went to doctor for my extreme anxiety) so he gave me medicine and i took it for like 11 months. After that period he started to lower the dosage of SSRI and it went to that point i was not able to see the point and it wasn't helping me. so 4-5 month ago i stopped taking meds.

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Now problem is this , i don't remember last year no memory  no emotion nothing. i don't know what's going on i am not normal always think about escaping and running away. i can't relate to anyone and can't go to the meds again. i know one thing that job is making me sick and i hate it but i guess i hate myself too. Job is super easy buti feel like a prisoner here. No friend or family understand this thing and i feel like no one can ever under stand. i feel weird  like i am the only one here in this world. and things will never get better.

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Does reading above stuff indicate anything to worry. I know i am depressed and have anxiety issue and OCD but after taking those meds i feel so weird even after 5 month. solipsism is stuck in my mind too..