TW agoraphobia, ED, mentions of COVID


I’m 20, high risk, and my mom is high risk too (I live with her). I haven’t been out since February aside from doctors appointments because of COVID. Groceries bought online and picked up contactless. Haven’t seen friends, family, anyone aside from my mom. I snuck out, as a 20 year old, to see a friend about once a week for a month in July. That ended. 

Put off medically necessary things just because of the risk and her swearing that I’ll kill her if I go out and having to be sanitized every time I go to a dr. I can’t handle moving out because of finances and if I try to go get a job she’ll kick me out for exposing her to people I’ve been exposed to. 

Driving around keeps me sane but my anxiety is so bad now that I won’t drive more than 20 mins out. I fear hanging out with anyone again. 

I’m an ex agoraphobe and fear I’m one again. Mentally I’m not ok anymore. I break down more frequently than ever. Has anyone else experienced a similar situation? I just wish things could go back to the way they were. I can’t hold out much longer. I’ve relapsed with GAD, OCD, ED, and probably agoraphobia if I tried going out of my comfort zone.