I'm going to make this short because I know I can't dwell on this or I'm just going to make myself suffer.

She said this yesterday. We've had a really rough breakup. She said she wishes I died instead of someone else and that I was a bunch of horrible things.

After she said that I fractured a knuckle on a wall and have been spiraling since. It is looping in my head and making me think maybe she's right.

I know my issues. I know my triggers. She didn't really follow any of the things I asked her to do when things got bad and I started spiraling and it caused a lot of issues in the end of our relationship. I was doing so fucking good and all the sudden one domino fell and I feel back at square one.

Sorry, this is just a vent. I'm still trying to learn everything I can about what I'm dealing with, with my therapist; but I needed to get this out to someone.