Lmao is there a general subreddit dedicated to talking sh*t about people? I'd love to know.

This friend always had a habit of dissecting behavior and trying to 'own' people with her negative critiques about them and thus who they are. However, she's kicked her critical analysis up a notch since learning I have BPD (this could be in my head though). I suspect it's a coping mechanism for her where she feels smart by 
'scientifically' picking apart things that happen (she's quite insecure about her intelligence) while feeling morally superior as the critic. For example.

Circa 2019. I got worked up when a lady at the club repeatedly stumbled backwards and dug her heels (aka. shoes with knives) into the back of my calves. I caught her, told her nicely that she stabbed my calves with her heels so if she could try avoiding that I'd appreciate it. She didn't care, brushed me off rudely and no more than 10 seconds later I felt her heel again. I told her (quite calmly mind you) to back the fuck up and take her ugly Dollar store heels with her. I scooped up glittery things (spangles are they called?) from the floor that had fallen off her shoes and threw it at the girl's back when she wasn't looking. 

The critic-friend was there and later said I got inappropriately 'retaliatory' and took on an abusive demeanor. I told her being petty on my part wasn't amazing but I told the girl in heels nicely first, yet she was rude and acted like I was a peasant. The friend responded by saying I was justifying my actions, failing to own up to my bad behavior and being defensive. That I didn't actually have remorse for what I did seeing as how I added a 'but' in my response to her callout. 

I started questioning if I actually am abusive, retributive and mean. I still feel shame thinking about it again and feel like a bad person. If she called me out so dramatically, I must've gone that far to warrant that, you know? A part of me feels like her assessment of my character is valid *because* there's some truth to it, even though one could argue it's a partial truth taken out of context used to paint the worst possible picture of me. 

She does this regularly. If I were her and saw my friend get mad in that situation, I'd soothe them, especially after seeing scrapes on their legs and hearing the heel girl rudely dismissing them. I'd understand their point of view at least and approach with a level of compassion rather than flipping the entire script in the most demonizing way. 

I want to unfriend her from my life but I feel like I'd be 'losing' and proving her point. That I'm leaving because I'm offended by her being right and can't swallow the pill that I was wrong. I feel like I can't leave until I prove I'm right and she acknowledges she's wrong.