I (30 M) almost 6 months ago started dating a guy (34 M) that i've since really taking a liking to. He's the second person I ever dated. Growing up I made it a habit to be used by anyone around me. This led me to avoiding relationships as I was terrified of being taken advantage of.

After attending therapy at 29, I decided to start dating. My first relationship turned abusive and I left. 

My second and current is much healthier. But im driving myself crazy with worry over something that maybe shouldn't bother me.

Basically its like this. A little while back after my fourth date with him, he told me this. "I want you to know, that in the past I have had trouble in relationships, because I am not good at showing my emotions. And I just want you to know I'm trying". At the time, I wasn't bothered by it, because it was early and I took it as a sign that he cared about what I thought of him. Since then things have gotten better overall between us. However there is one thing that has gotten worse. 

He doesnt make me feel loved, or wanted. The kind of person I am, I love to let the people I care about know that I care about them. Gifts, affirmation, spending time especially. I give that to him and then some. But in return, its almost nothing. No gifts, no time spent as he never initiates any visits or activities. But most of all, zero, and I mean zero words of affirmation. 

At first I didnt think anything of it. But over time, I realize what is driving me nuts is I dont know if hes happy with me. The one thing that I need in a relationship, is that mutual bond. I love being with him, but I have zero indication that feeling is shared. And it spikes me anxiety like nothing else. It leads to overthinking to the point where I convince myself that hes just with me out of pity. And it sends me into a depression. 

I brought that up to him once. And his response was that he is "comfortable with me, and happy he's my boyfriend". At first I was thrilled to hear this, as it was that affirmation I was needing. But since then things have started to feel even more distant. Things changed, like him not saying good morning, turning me down in spending time with him, just a general lack of interest in the things I say. I have asked him multiple times if things are okay, and hes said yes every time. But it just feels so cold, its eating away at me. 

The worst part is I cant tell if this is just, normal for some people and my anxiety is screwing with me. Or if my gut is right, and this is a problem. 

On the other side of things. He does do some things that make me feel better. Like being insistant in introducing me to to his friends and family, he did get me a gift for my birthday, he was there for me when I was going through a personal crisis. And when we are together, he will do things like reach for me, or scratch my head. But those things are few and far between. 

I would love anyones opinion or advice on this.