I have been struggling with suacideal thoughts lately. But I know I can't talk to anyone about it. Last time I tried to talk to someone I got the cops called on me and taken to a hospital. I hate it in the hospital. What should I do? It is not like I plan on killing myself or anything. I just can't get the thought out of the back of my head... But because I tried it before people flip out if I say the smallest thing about it. And in top of not being able to talk about it I feel like I have to put on a show when I am around people. Because if someone can tell I am feeling down I get 100 questions about it. And my roommate is one of my best friends. And so I can't even relax at home. I have to always act like I am fine when I'm not. My life is falling apart and I have no control over it. And it all started getting worse about 3 weeks ago when my car broke down. I am on disability because of all my mental illnesses. And so I can not afford the parts I need. So I am stuck sitting in my apartment all day every day. And it is just getting under my skin more and more. What should I do? Last time I tried to talk to my doctor about feeling suacideal he started talking about a hospital so I had to back track really fast and start to lie to him so I didn't get locked up. I am sorry for rambling. I just feel like I am trapped in my head. 