I spent a half hour to an hour reading how all my friends, watching everyone online, everyone is becoming themselves, everyone is now happy, everyone who acted like an asshole managed to either change their ways or drop that and be themselves, but at this point I am a compulsive asshole, weather on purpose or not. Everyone is more happy, healthy,  alive and are enjoying life meanwhile I am in a loop where I am either a nobody or an asshole, this is really crushing me, I barely go outside at this point, get home exhausted and generally feel like garbage  bet at this same time I know it is because it is hard to make others upset without upsetting yourself. I can't tell why at this point, but I concluded myself it is because I am as emotionally detached as a fire hydrant, it could be something genetic within me, or more than likely reddit has done this reddit has emotionally detached me, especially this sub, watching others progress from fear to happiness is slowly taking years off of my lifespan, I fear myself I am running out and will topple over stress. But I won't bother stopping it, getting a grip on the ledge I am falling off just destroys that perfectly string ledge.

I can almost predict the reply to this, "hang in there, things get better, you will be okay, we are all here with you" it is generic as all hell and I am sick of comfort, if you want to make me feel better I need a logical conversation in exactly why I should better myself. After typing that would you look at that, I'm sorry I don't mean that in an asshole way I am just slowly losing my mind.