I want to be happy, I want to look good, i want to sing well, i want to write better, i want to be funny, i want to be productive, i want to be normal, i want to fit in, i want to be less cynical, but nothing works.

And believe me ive tried with every fiber of my being.

Knowing more about myself is always knowing more bad news.

A guy said to me, 'find yourself and find like minded people', buddy i am aching to change who i am, why i would i want more of myself.

Not that i hate myself or anything, im just suffering in my head, i seem to be controversial and unrelateable and i dont seem to have been made to function like other people.

Edit: And the sad thing is, me coming here whining and crying will change nothing. Everytime i recover from a breakdown, im just taking a long break before my next breakdown.