My insurance will lapse August 1. I finally graduated college at the age of 27. I was dx'd at 14, I've been on and off meds a long time. 

My family was very anti lithium and I mean I don't think the really accept my diagnosis. Never have. 

I, personally, have also refused lithium for a myriad of reasons, one being that blood draws are extremely difficult for me as a former IV drug user. And the side effects scared me. But I've come so far. There's a lot of chaos around me, and I've somehow between wrong cocktails of medication and a lot of former years in therapy still gotten here. 

I picked the worst day to start back on meds. Or maybe the best. I don't know. The part of me that's scared of medication is like "what if you feel terrible right now because this is going to be another bad med" and the rational side of me knows that's absolutely absurd and not how mood stabilizers work. I haven't been sleeping or eating, for like the last couple of weeks, maybe a month or two, I really don't know. I've lost 35 lbs. After typing that out, maybe I actually picked the best day it just doesn't feel like it because ??? I've been off my meds when I shouldn't??? 

I really don't know what my point is but I'm still kind of nervous about lithium but I'm going to take it tonight because I know I really need it. But I feel horrible right now physically and mentally. And I just really want to feel some sense of stable again. 

(Also if you had stomach issues how long did they take to resolve? I took it after dinner thinking I would just go to bed but I didn't sleep and still felt sick.)