Ive been having nightmares, which are making me too afraid of going back to sleep.

They are the worst thing I have ever experienced (Ive seen some seriousley fucked up shit) and they are happening every time I go to sleep now.

Im about to walk into the crisis unit and not leave.

If I didnt keep telling myself I have too many people who would be hurt if I did, I would rather cut my own throat than go back to sleep.

The focus is my girlfriend, being promiscuous with other guys, even though thats the opposite of reality, its such a mindfuck that I want to die

Im either dying alive or dying dead, I guess I just dont have the balls to kill myself. (Maybe thats good?)