Hi,

I’m gonna insert a trigger warning for mentioning of suicidal thoughts here. 

I am wondering if someone can share their experience with antidepressants or has some advice for me.

I recently came to terms with having a depression. No clue how I never realized what was going on because tbh it’s been years that I’ve been having problems. I guess what I struggle is ‘functional depression’ since I was still able to fake a normal life up to a few weeks ago. I was feeling worse and worse, having multiple breakdowns a day (panic or anxiety attacks) and only stopped going to work when I had a breakdown during one long ass team meeting and couldn’t hide in the bathroom. It was during this time that I also noticed suicidal thoughts (I’m not actively thinking of ways to take my life, I’m too exhausted to do it. But I just don’t want to live anymore). Now after my breakdown during that meeting my boss (bless her she’s an angel) helped me and said I should take time off as long as I need to heal and recommended her general practitioner to begin with. I made an appointment and explained the doctor the situation and besides recommending therapy she prescribed some herbal anxiety pills (sedistress), and if they don’t help she also prescribed antidepressants (Sipralexa). I’ve been taking these herbal things for a week now and was feeling a bit better, but just realized I haven’t left my bed/sofa for 5 days. The only time I left my apartment was when I had my first appointment with a therapist last week. Now I am new to all this, and I am hesitant to take the antidepressants. Do you think I should wait till I progress in therapy? Or can I try the antidepressants? What are your experiences with antidepressants and therapy? I know it will take a while until I notice a difference but I only have one more week off from work and I guess I want to feel better asap. All I know is I don’t want to continue living like that.

If you have any advice for me I would highly appreciate it since I am quite new to all this. I can also give more information, I just don’t know what is important to know.

Thanks a lot, and sending strength and energy to all of you