I'm 27F, bipolar and also have cpstd (diagnosed), mixed with severe anxiety and depression. I also get really paranoid at times when my anxiety is heightened. I've had jobs before but they didn't last long and honestly were never indicative of a good solid career. Think line cooking/barista and cleaning casino floors. Not something I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

I'm a floater. I float through life and coast through odd jobs that don't last long before my anxiety ruins it for me. I have full responsibility of a 4 year old child who I need to get my act together and find a long-term career for so I can provide the utmost care for. I want him in the best schools and I won't be able to do that while working a gas station job. Not to offend anyone who does that but it's not feasible for a single mother.

I spent a lot of my early 20s (before I got pregnant) traveling the country in my car and sleeping in state parks. I wasn't planning for my future at that time, I was literally living day-to-day with no cares. That all changed when I became a mother. I *finally* graduated with my AA this past month after years of trying while battling mental illness and raising my child. It's not that I'm stupid and couldn't do it (I graduated with a 4.0), it's that my bipolar and anxiety got in the way of it for so long. I never thought I'd succeed. 

With all of that taken into consideration, I have a reason for the gaps in my employment periods. My last solid job that lasted more than 2 months was literally 4 years ago. I did this thing for a while where I resold vintage clothing and made okay money doing that but definitely not enough for buy a house and definitely didn't get insurance or health benefits from that. 

I'm starting to become worried ill never the the type of person to hold down a normal 9-5 job. I just don't think I have that kind of personality. I hate being bossed around by someone who thinks they're worth more/smarter because they make more money than me. I don't like having someone authorize me. I guess I have too much pride or something idk. This has gotten in the way of me finding a job. 

I've been looking nonstop for a job since I graduated and I'm not finding anything that remotely sounds worth it to me. I'm aware I won't find an amazing job with an AA but I am trying. I want to move to a cheaper state where I won't struggle as much to make ends meet for my son and I. I realize the hardship I took on having a kid before I was ready and I'm trying my hardest to make things work for the both of us. I refuse to walk away from my son because it's hard. 

I'm posting this here because I'm wondering if there are other bipolar people who struggle to hold a job/career down and if you guys have any advice, I'd love to hear.