usually the holiday season gets me really depressed and this summer i found a partner who genuinely supports and loves me. we are currently long distance and he’s such a optimistic person, but i constantly tell him like “you’re gonna be busy with your family to call or care about me” “i hate christmas it sucks” and it really does suck and i want to tell him so bad that he’s my favorite person and thats why i act like this, so toxic and negative, i know. i just wish i was with him and i miss him so much it feels physically painful that i can’t detach from him. he seems to be carrying on with his life at work and with family fine. but i constantly see myself fixated on only him almost 24/7.. i feel like it doesn’t help that we call all night and random times when we are both home to kind of replicate when we were together.