He knows all about my personality, he knows about all the bpd symptoms I have. He knows me so well and I've pushed him away time after time and he still hasn't left me. He's been patient with me, gets me to talk, doesn't force me when i don't want to talk, knows when to sit with me in silence, etc. I almost completely trust him now (it's been almost 2 years). I don't get as jealous as i used to, we've worked through that. But there are times when I still think he's lying when he says he loves me and when he says he won't leave. I get paranoid when I don't hear from him for a day. Then I lash out at him telling him I knew all along he didn't love me. And then the next day I feel stupid for saying all that and want things to go back to normal and for him to not leave me. I tell him that it's not his fault that I'm feeling these feelings but I also would like some reassurance that he's thinking of me. 

Should I tell him that this is what I have and put a label on it even though he knows me so well and knows how to deal with all my symptoms? I have a feeling it's not enough and that he's going to leave me one day. Maybe if I told him I have bpd he'd be more understanding. Even though he's already so understanding and patient after all the stuff I've put him through. All the tests, the manipulation, the lies, he still knows me and loves me for who I am. Maybe I'm just thinking too much and being paranoid cause I haven't heard from him (I'm visiting home for the holidays in another country so we can't text. But he's not emailing me either. Could be many reasons but I'm paranoid.)

Any thoughts?