First of all I am new to reddit and please bare with me as you can see I can't even write a proper title.

Anyway, I had a breakdown last night for about an hour and a half and my eyes were so dry and tired with all the crying and I had no one to talk to. I tried so much to calm myself down, I even tried meditation but I couldn't not stop the thoughts inside my head . I tried to make may say that it was all going to be alright that I could get through that and that I would be okay in the morning. I was out of breath at one moment and it felt like someone is compressing my heart. I wanted to scream so loud. I just wanted all of that to stop at once. I don't remember when I fall asleep but I couldn't sleep peacefully. 

Since morning I don't feel any better than yesterday. I cannot focus on anything, I skipped my classes and even tried to do something that I like but nothing seems to help. When ever I try to do something, after few minutes I just feel like I want to throw everything away. I am keeping myself in control for now but I am worried if I do it for too long I will burst and I don't want to burst on anyone I love because I know I will start pushing people away after that. But I couldn't keep it in control anymore. 
    
I just need some help if anyone here can provide that.