Recently I discovered that my friends have been having a weekly movie night without me through social media. These friends are in my eyes really close to me, I asked them to be my bridesmaids, but sometimes I struggle to reach out due to fear of abandonment (I’m sure y’all understand the cycle). I know I’ve not been the best friend, but at the same time they hardly reach out too? I’ve had a similar experience in the past with a different friend group where excuses were made as to why I was excluded, typically some bs like “oh we thought you were with your SO” etc etc. I ended up quietly leaving/ ghosting that friend group, because I felt it was clear that I wasn’t wanted since I was constantly excluded. Because of this past experience, I’m feeling some confirmation bias, coupled with my feelings of hurt, and magnified by my BPD. I left our group chat quietly since I wanted to separate myself from the situation rather than lash out while confronting them. I don’t know what to do or where this leaves me, but any advice or opinions would be helpful.