my mom has bpd and it's ruining her marriage. she constantly accuses my dad of gaslighting and cheating, going on long-winded tangents about it then having severe mental breakdowns. at this point, i can't even tell whether she's actually been gaslit or not because the bpd could make things seem like my dad is gaslighting her. she claims that there's cameras in the house spying on us 24/7 with people watching and my dad says there's no way that's possible at all. what worries me is some of her accusations are so detailed and i get torn between thinking “is it even possible to imagine something this complex and believe it?” and “is it even possible for something this mad to happen?”. 

she claims that photos of her nude have been uploaded on the internet, that her face has been edited onto nude photos of other people, that someone's helping her in secret, that voices are reciting things happening in the house word-for-word… how do you even hallucinate shit like this, honestly? 

when i'm on walks with her she's adamant that she's heard people saying very specific things while i haven't noticed at all and i have pretty good hearing. sometimes i notice things she says but it's always minor things like words and body language my dad uses, she never shows any evidence of anything else. she'll also go into a state of misery because she thinks he's giving her a funny look, then will get mad when people make those kinds of assumptions about her. 

what scares me is how she seems so in-touch with reality, can vividly remember actual past events and even notices most of the same things i do but she'll come out with the most absurd shit which she fully believes. i've tried to reason with her and sometimes she's cool and down-to-earth, but sometimes she's not reasonable at all.

 sometimes it feels like i'm with a dementia patient because she'll repeat herself word-for-word and the conversation will spiral into the exact same tangent she went on last time. she'll later apologise for it usually though and be all happy again. sometimes when i doubt her claims she gets very tense and it's clear that she can't come up with much of a good explanation for them because they're very loose, but damn she can go on the most complex tangents about these things. it's like she's telling me dark souls lore, she even gives exact names which is worrying.

there'll be little changes in the story, like one person is now suddenly eight people and eight people suddenly become two people. her constant mood swings are a nightmare because she'll get angry with me for things she was fine with before out of nowhere then i don't know what to do and get upset, which she'll yell at me for until she's in a better mood. i hate dealing with it man.

she's gone on medication a few times, doesn't work. it makes her angrier because she complains about how annoying the medication is. recently, it worked for one day and now she's back to being mad at it. i keep bringing it up and i never get a clear answer, she'll usually answer by making a snarky comment about the people she's always claiming are spying on us. this has only been the past few years but she keeps saying that this and that happened in the past that she only just picked up on, which is really odd for someone who can barely remember her own name or where she put the keys. she can't remember the names of famous celebrities yet she'll reel off full names of people that i'm not even sure exist. 

not sure what to do and neither does my dad, i've never dealt with anyone with bpd except for her