Life feels like this empty white space where it feels like what I do or what I feel doesn't matter. Before it used to be extreme happiness or extreme sadness where it I didn't do something enjoyable I was miserable but now I feel like my happiness and everything else feels diminished. I feel like my everyday stuff I do lacks meaning compared to what it used to do. I used to find the strength to keep living, to ward off the suicidal thoughts and bad thoughts, to soldier on and be strong to live a fulfilling life but now everything feels too easy and like boring. Like I miss the drive, the passion and strength I used to have. Now it's just meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh. I used to feel passion and want to improve things to stop feeling bad but now since I'm not depressed it feels like I don't need to improve my life anymore to be happy so everything is pointless.