Hey, I try not to post here every time I need reassurance because I know I can usually handle things in the end and I know other people need it more but I’m really anxious and I feel like I am losing my grip somewhat on reality at the moment.

I left me and my BF’s place this past Friday because we were arguing and he said I was exacerbating his depression and he wanted space. We parted on good terms (hugs, I love yous, etc) but there are some unresolved issues with me being able to let him cool down when he’s in a bad mood.

I’m coming back today and I’m really nervous he’s going to leave me when I get there. :( we have kept in contact somewhat and he’s said I love you at various times etc. and seemed excited to pick me up but I also told him I wanted to know how solid he thinks we are and he said that he didn’t know at the moment. I really don’t know if he’s excited to get back to normal or he’s about to leave me and so I don’t know what to expect when I get back and it’s making it hard to get ready to leave. My main worry is that all of the “I love you” type stuff will be a loophole as in, “well I meant it but I still don’t want to be with you” or something and I was just getting my hopes up. Please help me calm down. I feel like I’m doing all I can to stay grounded and not completely dissociate but it’s very hard at he moment. :(