Whenever a friend/SO has done something hurtful directed at me, I store the resentment towards them for excessive amounts of time. I KNOW how unreasonably hurt and angry I get when even the smallest, white lies are told towards me, and I typically get more resentful when they're doing very-little-to-very-harmful actions to themselves/in their relationships.
I'm trying really hard to unlearn that. But I'm stuck here at 3am wondering why I should fight the resentment. I think I'm protecting myself, in a sick way, from getting my hopes up again.
Hopes up means that my hopes can be dropped again, even by the smallest action, therefore there's something to fear and be angry about.
I was wondering if anyone had experience/advice with overcoming this desire to resent in order to "protect". I'm tired of harming my relationships so drastically this way, and I'm taking it out on myself more and more.