I can't stand how bad I feel. I've been worse every day for months, between pills for anxiety, and to sleep, just to get through the day. I needed to talk to someone about how bad I felt. I have tried to tell my mother that I was terrible, I just wanted someone to listen to me.

She has barely wanted to listen to me, she has only begun to tell me that all my problems I have brought on myself. That if I'm alone in life and I don't have anyone, it's my fault for not knowing how to relate, and that she's tired of seeing me like this, that I have a difficult character and people don't want anyone like that in their lives. That if he can't put up with work problems it's because he knows I don't want to work and I want to live off the air, and that they're all excuses. She has started to yell at me and throw all this in my face just for asking her to listen to me, that I have no one to talk to.

I have even told him that I have been so bad that I have even considered committing suicide, that I am not making it up. She only gave me a look of contempt, and asked me: "But what do you want me to do to him? You're 34 years old, you'll know what you want." "That can't be my problem"

And it's because of these people that I've been swallowing my fucking sorrow, why I avoid committing suicide so as not to hurt them?

I wish I hadn't been born. i wish i was dead