So, my boyfriend’s best friend is a girl. And I know that gender should not matter but I hate her so much.. And I never even met her. I hate her so intensely that even when I think about her I just want to punch a wall. I don’t want to hear her name, I don’t want to know when he is hanging out with her because it makes me feel so fucking jealous. And the worst part is that it’s not based on ANYTHING. She encouraged him to stay with me eventhough im having bpd and going to therapy, she’s always super kind about me and really wants to meet me. But everytime he mentions her I just snap especially when drunk.. and every argument he makes or everything he says to comfort me I just debunk as if my mind just doesn’t want to hear it. I don’t know why but the thought of her is making me feel like an awful, ugly person and that he is just gonna run of with her eventually. That she is being nice about me just to stab me in the back later or something. I know it sounds really paranoia and it makes me feel like im going crazy because in my right mind i dont want to hate her at all. I want to meet her and be ‘friends’ or at least friendly but at this point I just feel like i am going to be extremely agressive and angry when I would meet her. And I know that that would scare my boyfriend away because she’s really important to him. I just don’t know what to do. I really want to be the good fun girlfriend who is able to meet my boyfriend’s best friend but I feel like I cant control myself in this area... please, does anyone know how to deal with these kind of feelings and thoughts???? Theyre so irrational and not true but in my head they feel so real and they make me so sad and hate myself