Dated a guy for 2 months and he was the nicest guy I’ve dated in a long time, if ever. He abandoned me, saying he felt guilty about not being able to give me what I deserve. Feels like bullshit and I’m fucking in shambles. I opened up my trust for him, only for him to squander any hope I have for finding someone to spend my life with. I know time will help, and it’s been a month. I’m just worried I won’t ever get over him. He changed his pfp on Snapchat and my heart sunk. I feel so stupid for feeling this way and I want more than anything to move on. 

I’m turning 30 in 3 months. I first was diagnosed at 20 and was hospitalized last year and diagnosed again. I wasted my 20s trying to heal with all the wrong tools. Now I’m getting too old, and worried I’ll never be happy. I hate that someone else has this much hold on me while he’s probably happy he doesn’t have to meet my emotional needs anymore. This world is cruel and I am just a toy to every man I meet.