Disclaimer: non-english speaker, middle of the night, dissociated, maybe very bad grammar

I tend to name my borderline crushes (which are ranging from the urge to befriend the person as close as possible  to the short dwelling question if they are my true love) simply borderline crushes - i know i've got this problem and i can deal with it... most of the time.

Than there is this person which meanwhile became a good friend of mine which i... i think u could say fancy. A good friend but i still think for nearly the year we knew us i developed feelings. But i can manage them and i am simply satisfied with our friendship, although hes not a very uncomplicated person. I am still not knowing WHAT feelings i have exactly and u am also coming to terms with that.

The thing is... i wouldnt see myself as a monogamous person bc of the crushes und my, maybe naive wish, that love shoud be free.

A few days ago i stumbled across the word 'limerence'

"Limerence is a state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person and typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies and a desire to form or maintain a relationship with the object of love and have one's feelings reciprocated. Limerence can also be defined as an involuntary state of intense romantic desire."
[wikipedia]

And the more i am thinking about it i tend to think that this a thing i am often feeling. The obsession with other persons, no matter if its a few days till my brain cools down or a few month. Sometimes i think i am in love, sometimes i know (or i suggest) it is my bpd brain but a few times i feel straight up psychotic. And i must admit, these times fills me with anxiety.

I am very open with my illness but these particular feelings are nothing i discuss that openly with my friends bc i am ashamed of how crazy i could appear to them.

Ofc i know people with bpd can be REALLY attached to others, things like the favourite person etc.

But i would like to know if a few others here see themselves in this? Do u think this concept is the same as the fp thing? How do u cope? 

The more i was tipping the more i become aware that this had to be sth i had to get off my chest and i feel a little bit better and lighter now.
Nevertheless i would like to read ur opinions and maybe ur experience with this.