I've had a very intense fear of death for decades. Mostly because of my fear of hell. I've also had depression and ADD too my whole life. Lately through its different. Maybe therapy and facing my fears has allowed me to not be as afraid. As well as not being as scared of hell. But the only thing is I don't really care anymore. I have tried to be happy in the moment and not strive for false security. I thinknive succeeded. So now I'm not motivated to do anything.  I don't care if I die. I could find out I'm dying tomorrow and I'd be happy. But my sink is a mess and I don't care. My life is a mess but I don't care. Why should I strive? 

I'm like the guy in office space who just said he'd do nothing lol. Maybe my depression is so bad and I've stopped struggling?  It's weird.