Today marks twelve years since I quit using m***. I wanted to share it with someone because I'm really proud of myself, but unfortunately this isn't something I can share with most of the people close to me. I've gotten a lot of judgement, criticism and doubts that I can remain sober when talking about my history with drugs with them so I don't bother bringing it up and celebrate by myself. 

I first used in my teen years when the bio dad of my daughter and I were together. I caught him smoking it and he forced me to use it so I couldn't say anything about it. I didn't even know what it was until a few days later when he finally told me. He kept pushing me to use it with him and I got addicted. Later I found out I was pregnant and quit. 

Several years later I was in another relationship and my mental health was bad and rather then getting proper help I turned to drugs. Mental health is very shamed in my family. I used again for a while and it of course made things worse. I realized that and decided it was a dumb idea and quit again. I promised myself I'd never use it again and twelve years later that promise still stands.  I made it through my worst mental health period without using and got proper help and am relatively stable now so I'm confident that I won't go down that road again.