Basically I had a super crappy childhood and even up until recently I have had a lot of trauma and abuse in my life. I don't let many people in, and I don't tell many people about the things that have happened to me and how much I'm affected by them. To me, there is nothing worse than someone knowing everything about you and still not caring. It's not that I want people to feel sorry for me, I don't, but it's awful feeling so exposed and having someone know the ins and outs of your whole being and still abandon you. I'm hurting so much.