I (31F) haven't been in a long term rs for nearly 5 years. I developed BPD nearing the end of that rs and through our break up (in conjunction with family trauma). I have been in therapy for near 1.5 years identifying and working through issues particularly inclusive of self worth, co-dependence, shame and abandonment issues. 

I am seeking advice because I find myself still self sabotaging potential relationships. I have developed an intense fear of commitment fueled by my lingering abandonment and self worth issues. 
I now have no problem meeting people, ascertaining healthy boundaries, respecting others boundaries and developing relationships however when it gets to the commitment and exclusivity phase I either get really scared, freak out and run or I have difficulty filtering my negative emotional thoughts and impulses which can lead me to acting incredibly insecure and intense - due to abandonment and self worth issues. 

I feel misunderstood communicating this with my friends and I'm hoping to find some support, some people that can relate and hopefully some advice on how to help work through this please. 

TIA