I had FP best friend for 13 years. I really had her propped up on that pedestal, and thought she was the perfect person. I thought I was too emotional and socially awkward to deserve such a great friend, but there she was. And I adored her for it. 

But we drifted apart, and now that the rose colored glasses have lifted, I realize she was actually kinda awful. 

She had quite literally watched me suffer, and never really did much to help me. The biggest event was when I had been sexually assaulted with her in the room. She told me the next day that, despite hearing me say no multiple times, 'I seemed like I wanted it'. That was one of the most traumatic events I had ever gone through, and she was my only support at the time. So I believed her, I deserved it, and it was my fault. I was so fucked up from that night for years. 

There was also the time her brother was grooming me to be an addict with him, and she'd just watch and say nothing. I had learned she was bad mouthing me to other people. That includes the brother that was actually giving me the drugs and alcohol. But she never intervened, if anything she enabled it.

There's a whole 13 years of events. There were some good times, but the bad are glaringly obvious now that I see her as just another person. I did try saving the friendship, but whenever we made plans she'd be hours late...to her own house, on her day off. I always drove an hour to be there, and I always made sure our plans were free. But she still told me that she didn't have time, or money. But still would blow hundreds on her boyfriend, and didn't even have a job keeping her busy at the time.

Ridiculous. I now realize how much better of a person I am, compared to her behavior. I guess my point is, don't let your FP walk all over you. Check how they treat you, and stand up for yourself. I know they got that role somehow, but it doesn't mean they deserve it. You are deserving of people who respect you, and want the best for you.

I am actively making sure to avoid having a new FP. Even if I fall in love, I will not go back to blindly idolizing someone again.