I’ve spent a few months since my diagnosis stumbling around desperately looking for answers, reasons and a thread of hope to cling to and help me come to terms with BPD and how it defines me. I stumbled randomly upon this blog/article with the hope that I’d find something useful and interesting, it’s taken me a while since I finished reading to process just how devastating it is to be so fully understood, yet written off so completely.

http://gettinbetter.com/casanova.html

I exhibit so many of these traits, I’m the unwilling puppeteer in a rigged show. I’m considering ending my relationship with my partner and isolating myself from my support team, it’s time to end the denial and perhaps accept that the battle is lost and that I’m better off alone.

It’s just so utterly painful to read, as a borderline male I’m consumed by its stark and painful assessment of my behaviours which I’ve been in denial of for too long. 

I think I need to be alone. It feels like it would be a kindness to everyone I know, I just need to be brave enough to do it.





