This month, my 70 year old parents got covid, my older already sick sister got covid, then my dog dies suddenly. Then on top of all that crap, I had the stress from my work, college, and thesis research.

Then to top it all off, my elderly rat took a turn for the worst 4 days ago, and my partner and I decided to euthanize her before she got any worse (she would be the equivalent of a 100 year old human in rat years.)

I am just at a lost. I am terrified, angry, and sad. I don't know what to do with the semester starting up again, along with research, along with work. On top of that I can't shake the feeling I killed my own dog with my ignorance and I'm afraid I took my rat's own life without her consent.

I know logically I will probably get through this, but I'm scared and terrified that all I can do is watch the people who I love the most die without me being able to do anything for the rest of my life. The shitty part is that it's true for the most part, I will have to learn to live with it like everyone else.

Thank you all for your attention and input. Here is the obligatory pet photos: http://imgur.com/a/Epdx6vk