Hello. 36F diagnosed Bipolar 1 with psychotic features, PTSD, and GAD. Currently homeless due to massive mixed episode this year and losing hope for myself. I take my meds, attend therapy weekly, am an active participant with my psychiatrist, see a case manager weekly and do as much self care as possible. I tried to get a job so I can get into a shared housing situation but I ended up having a panic attack and quitting the first day. My homelessness presents unique challenges to getting a job. I already owe my family money and don't qualify for more than food stamps in my county.  

What's the point to all of this suffering? Life is already difficult but we mentally ill people have it far worse. My therapist tells me that this is a pivotal point in my recovery yet day by day goes by and I still would rather not exist.