Im not trying to sob I genuinely dont understand why people want to talk to me when all i am is a depressed quiet lonely introverted and sad person i compared to other people i dont say much im pretty quiet yet for some reason my friends and family like me i cant tell wether people actually like me and want to be with me and enjoy my company or wether they just do it because they feel guilty and bad for me and feel like they have to ever since my cancer relapsed i just avoid talking to people and meeting them because i feel so confused and because i just want to be alone and the worst part is i dont even know why i feel this way and why i want to be alone and why im so confused about everything in my life socially and it doesn’t hell with the fact that I struggle to pick up on social cues and think of things to say to people in conversation so i dont know if when i do talk to someone ill just be there silently with them and they’ll probably start wondering why im so awkward i just want a quick and easy fix in life to be normal and be like everyone else and not have all these problems 

None of what i wrote is supposed to make sense i don’t expect anyone to understand it i just had to say how i felt about things in my own words