Hello everyone, I'm 22, almost 23, years old, and I fell in love two times previously, and I guess I'm in love now, making it my 3rd. My previous two experiences were terrible, and it scarred me.

First time I was 16, in my second year of High School, and it was the girl that sat next to me in class that I fell in love with. Unfortunately for me, there was another guy that also loved her. He spent way more time with her than me, so they eventually started dating, something that I think lasts to this day. I was at the height of my depression at that time, I was rude, sarcastic and an overall asshole, so I didn't take this situation well, and I acted jealous and angry when I saw them together. Eventually I confessed my feelings (after almost a year), and she said this two things: First, that the other guy had already confessed, and second, she asked if I was joking. She didn't believe I was capable of falling in love.

Second time was relatively recent, and this time was a girl that belonged to my group of friends. One day I started talking with her more, and suddenly I was in love. Like the first time, it took me a year to confess, and I only did so because I started panicking, because she had a "vibe" with another guy. I declared my feelings, and she tells me the following: 

* "Why choose me when there are millions of other women in this world? 
* "My dog just died, It was not a good time to tell me this."
* "You asked me to go out to confess, and you aren't giving me space."

After this, I literally apologized to her for confessing, saying that I obviously misinterpreted some signs, and she goes on to say that it was ridiculous to think that I had a chance with her.

Now I'm in love with a girl from college. She is sweet, cute, and I started going out with her, first with other friends, but also alone, and before I noticed I fell again. I'm scared shitless. I'm scared of failing once more, I'm scared of being rejected again. Even touching women that I'm not attracted to makes me scared shitless, I fear that they will think that I'm a creep or something, even when it's something like a soft touch on the shoulder. Even when they are the ones that initiate contact I'm afraid.

I'm improving in many areas of my life, especially since I made the decision to quit porn and videogames. My relationships with friends and family drastically improved, my academic journey benefited immensely from the extra time and motivation, but in this particular field I'm still the same. I know there is no magical solution for me to get women, but I felt the desire of sharing my story, and I believe this is a good place to do so.