I have a friend that I started developing feelings for and it’s becoming obsessive. There are many things that seem compatible between us: same hobby, we can joke easily, and shared culture. But still I don’t know him well enough to know if we be good as romantic partners (main question being if he has the level of empathy I need). So far i initiate plans - just went hiking on Monday. 

So what I would like is to get to know him a friend longer and let feelings develop more naturally. But my brain is screaming for me to confess my love now…and it’s so distracting, making it hard to work. 

In my head, I already have come up with all ways we will get together and also break up. I am looking for advice on how to manage the obsessive thoughts. I have thought about just telling him I like him and asking how he feels. If he does not like me, then I can move on. If he does like me, then we can go from there 

My concern is that if he does like, then relationship will move too quickly. And if we are not compatible…I have another ex and a broken heart. 

Writing this out, I realize I am afraid of emotional pain and I’m trying to figure out how to minimize it. As far as I can tell, he is neurotypical and a part of me feels he would not want someone as complicated as me. 

Any advice or relevant stories appreciated. Thank you!