Nothing has meaning any more. What's the point of smiling if on the inside I am hurting. Depression has really taken over my life. Everything now blends in to an arbitrary gray day after day. Something is missing and has been for a while. The outside has stopped crying but the inside has become unrecognizable. The best people can do is tell me to "just be happy". What does that even mean I haven't been happy. They say that time heals all wounds but it also can make them fester. And I am just a wound that time can heal as well. Why smile if I am not happy, why laugh when I am the only one laughing, and why talk of no one is listening.