And the emptiness swallows me whole again. 

What am I feeling 

Am I feeling anything at all

I don't want to pretend 

And then the wave of emotion comes crashing into me

Sometimes one, sometimes many

It hits me hard and pulls me under

How do I get out

Is there a way out 

Will I be like this forever 

Someone pulls me out of the ocean 

Breathes life back into me

I feel alive

I am alive

I make them my everything and then

"I fucking hate you"

"Im sorry I love you so much"

"You did this!"

"No don't leave me"

"Please come back"

And the emptiness swallows me again.