So let me start by saying I am posting this here because I (27F) was diagnosed with BPD over a year ago. I struggle with black and white thinking and have not healed my past trauma enough yet to trust my own judgement. 

So here is my dilemma. I have been dating my fiancé (30M) for 6 years. Both were pretty broken when we got together but lent on each other like a crutch during difficult years. We both lost our dads, pandemic, mental instability and turbulent career changes. Whilst times are rough, we have each other backs, but it’s when things are settled that we can not get on the same page. We enable each other’s habits of gambling and pot. While we are no longer in debt, we have wasted thousands of dollars. I can be very needy, and he can be impulsive (ADHD), which sometimes results in him displaying triggering behaviour for me. 

I’m saying all that he is so supportive of my BPD treatment and is the funniest man I have ever met. He has a heart of gold. 

I am just not sure if I am correct in wanting to end things as we display a clear red flag of a codependent relationship or if I am just continuously splitting on him and making mountains out of molehills. 

Any advice?