In recent years life seemed to be getting better  and I made some friends and was seeing someone I really liked, more social, busy. But within the last few months I’ve ended up cutting them all out of my life and ruined most of the relationships I had. I got sloppy, paranoid, split on them and also gave up my part time job; since I’ve been isolating in my house for the past month or so.

I could of avoided the chaos but I chose to feed into it so now I find myself quite lonely. I’m just confused because it was me who did it, I self sabotaged but I still miss having some of those individual relationships and just sharing my life with them. I’m adjusting now so I don’t FULLY hate my situation as much as I did when it was fresh. 

When I cut people off, it’s usually in a way where they can’t get in touch again. But I had a certain few who I was very close to and find myself wondering if they think about me as often as I think about them? ...I wonder if it was the wrong move? I’m no stranger to this cycle but it hurts more this time for some reason. 🤒