Sigh. This post is probably going to be all over the place and it might trigger someone So just a heads up. 

Has anyone experienced this? [19M] 

There’s been a lot of stuff going on in my life so I’ve been under a shit ton of stress lately. So stressed to the point where I’ve thought about ending my life. I’ve been having episodes back to back to back on top of dealing with the everyday struggles of having bpd. It’s been absolute hell. I don’t even know what mood I’ll be in when I wake up in the morning, and my moods are erratic throughout the day. 

To cope, I’ve been engaging in unhealthy behaviors like overtly seeking attention, over-spending, over/under eating, engaging in petty shit I would never do, and lately: sex. 

Earlier this month, I had severe distrust in my girlfriend and was splitting on her to the point where I couldn’t stand to talk to her because of a certain situation. However, we talked it out and things went back to normal. 

Because I’ve been so stressed, we’ve been having sex. I’ve been craving it a lot, and usually after, one is fulfilled. But lately, I immediately regret it afterwards and feel empty. Every time we finish, I’m awake for hours after. Feeling empty. Sometimes I even feel shame/regret that leads to a panic attack. 

Has anyone dealt with this before?