Everything sucks right now and I can’t fix it. Im 15 and I hate it 

My grandfather had a heart attack and he’s been in the hospital for almost 3 weeks. I had to come back home from Florida because I’m going to a sleeps away camp for musical theatre. I mean honestly, I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go away for two weeks and pretend like life is all kumbaya..I feel like lately I just keep getting hurt…

I’ve been having feelings for this girl since I was 11. And I found out two days ago that she’s officially with someone. I don’t know why but it hurts. It hurts to think that you were gonna be with her. We both had feelings for each other but I moved away and I guess that’s probably why. But it hurts. But then you come to see that when you open social media a cute single girl from your new school isn’t so single anymore. Honestly it keeps happening to me over and over and over again and I’m so tired of trying. 

This summer camp…ugh. It just feels like I don’t have a say in anything anymore. My parents asked me in MAY if I wanted to go and I said “sure” because I wasn’t really paying attention. And now that my grandfather is in the hospital I don’t want to go. At all. I’d rather do an online screenwriting camp which is something I’d really enjoy and I’d be able to do from Florida remotely. Honestly I just want to stay home or go to Florida but I don’t want to go to camp for two weeks. Of course my parents told the camp directors about my grandfather so now they’re gonna ask me how I am and stuff. He is having an open heart surgery which is risky for him and I want to go but of course the doctors don’t have a date and I feel like it’s gonna be when I’m at camp! Dammit! 
I’ve told my parents I don’t want to go multiple times, like a lot of times. But all they say is “you’re gonna love it”. I will not. I don’t want to do that when someone important to me is in the hospital not to mention 14 hours away from me. 

What am I supposed to do..camp is tomorrow and I feel like my opinion doesn’t matter at this point.