I spend the majority of my time in bed or on the sofa. I feel trapped sometimes. People criticize me for it. They think I'm lazy. However I don't like doing that stuff. However it's so hard to move or do anything. I sit in the shower even and close my eyes. I can sit in the shower for a long time even after I have turned the water off. It's hard to get dressed in the morning and at night. It feels like a really bad feeling in my stomach that prevents me from doing it. It makes eating hard too and talking. Somedays I just can't take it. My coping methods sometimes work. I like to rock back and forth. It relaxes my mind. 

I hate having to get up to pee. Sometimes I just can't. I sometimes pee on myself and I don't even care. I made my younger sister uncomfortable because I started laughing once. Sometimes I laugh uncontrollably. I wonder if I am possessed sometimes because I do dabble in that kind of stuff. Mostly I just lay in bed and wish I could get up but the idea of it gives me stress