My mom owes me over $643 right now. Nothing I won is mine and it’s so infuriating. I’m 16 years old, I have a car and a job. It takes so much out of me to roll out of my damn bed in the morning. My rooms a mess, my grades are a mess, my future isn’t looking bright, I’m suicidal, depressed, anxious, and trapped in my own head so much that I didn’t notice how bad it was until it was too late to try and fix it all.
It takes so much out of me just to go to work, I was so proud of myself for finding a job. It’s so stressful and tiring to go to work and have to clean and deal with people and stay on my feet but it’s so worth it when I get that paycheck every other week. 
Now I’m $243 dollars in debt because my mom keep using my account. She has even transferred money from my savings to my checking so she could Venmo it to herself. 
My paychecks are usually $300 I put $200 into my savings and that gives me $100 to buy food for my pets put gas in my car and do whatever I want really, but my I’d notice “oh $40 is missing,” my mom would say “oh I got groceries” how can I be mad at her for that? Then $30 is missing. She got snow boots for my brother. Sometimes she buys food for her and her boyfriend sometimes she gets us things we need. How can I be mad at her? She doesn’t ask. She thinks it’s fine because “I’ll pay you back” she once forced me to pay my uncle’s speeding ticket for him (he did pay me back in a timely manner though)

The thing is I’m always so stoked to have spending money, to take care of my mice and dog on my own, to not have to rely on people as much to feel like less of a burden. Then to want to buy better body wash for myself and see that my checking account that was at $87 yesterday is at -$243 today just sucked the wind out of my sails. My savings account was at least $500 strong now it’s at $187. I can’t even cover the debt my mom created for me because she took it all. I worked so hard for that and it’s gone until she decides to pay me back. 

I have to be such an awful person to be mad at her for getting groceries and clothes. 

I don’t fight her. I’ve gone into such a downward spiral. I relapsed in SH after 3 months clean, my room is a mess, I have no clean clothes because the idea of getting up and doing laundry seems absolutely impossible. My grades are in the toilet, my money is gone, my animals automatic food delivery is about to go through making more debt, and I feel physical pain in my gut as I just try to live my life because everything’s going to shit and if I try and do something good for myself it’ll be taken away from me anyway.