Hitting rock bottom and breaking through the ground only to fall deeper and deeper, submerged under the pressure of feeling like a constant hard working failure. I know everything that's wrong with me and I still fail to fix them cause I can't get out of my own way. When I'm awake I just do everything wrong. It's either I fail or I miss the chance to try. I like to believe I'm living to dig my way out but the pile of dirt I take out just lands right where I took it out from only twice as heavy. This weight is immense man. All I know is loss. I want to rip my heart out my chest almost everyday. Yet I spend most of my time motivating and encouraging others because my own efforts turn to dust. I feel pathetic and my fear is I'm starting to just accept it....


Maybe I should've joined the Army when I was younger...