Everyday, everywhere I go, I feel disconnected from people. I don't know what it is. It's as if I'm not even a human being. Online, IRL, doesn't matter where. People just walk and talk to a different tune than me. It's a really sad/isolating feeling, and oddly at the same time my being kind of enjoys that, but doesn't at the same time? Like, being around others drains me.

I'm only 23 but I feel like I'm 40 mentally/emotionally. More than anything I just want to experience intimacy in this life. I want to know what it feels like to be loved like that. I want to know what it feels like to have a deep connection with another human being who understands me on a fundamental level. That's just a dream, though.