hello you guys I never knew what Reddit was I never knew that they had communities like this where people put heartfelt messages and spread love to one another …. It’s sad that the only reason I found this because I went to google and searched up “ what’s the point of living anymore “ and then boom quora and Reddit comes up …. But okay to the point now …

Where do I even start with this …. As a kid I was so happy I had a true personality literally I set boundaries I put myself out there and everything else , something happened to me as a kid (SA) but when it that about it … it doesn’t really affect me or make me sad at all. But let’s really get to the deep shit … I just don’t understand life 2019 is very significant for me because I was a senior in high school and I was very depressed because I was gay and I didn’t know how to tell anyone I knew I was gay since I was in elementary school but growing up in a black Christian family really set the tone for me I had to hide who I was for years and now that I’m finally out of the closet to my family and peers it still feels like I shut out parts of myself and my personality and I can understand why … I’m currently 20 and just heavily confused with life I’ve been going maniac literally I’ve been doing the craziest shit ever like just a few minutes ago I went into the woods by myself even tho I was scared I did it just to feel something remind you it’s 1am it’s very dark anything could of happened ….. but I really just don’t know anymore nothing in this world excites me I don’t wanna work …. People are boring … I push any and everything away …. My health has been terrible I’m very fit and my body is nice but I’m having gastrointestinal issues which is causing wear and tear on my body I think it’s contributing to my depression aswell … remind you I’m only 20 and the only reason I’m having stomach issues is because I was drinking so much in 2019 due to depression and I fucked my self up …. I don’t know why I am here why in typing this but I’m tired … what’s the point … we are all going to die … none of this interests me at all …. I push everyone and everything away I canno maintain friendships … I’m single … I’ve been purposely dry with people so they can leave me alone …. I’m losing my sanity I’m losing my mind … why are we here …. There’s more I could go into but I’ll stop here … if you made it this far I love you