I’m really hoping to get some insight to anyone struggling with a loved one having BPD.

I've been constantly debating with myself on if I should just throw in the towel or not. My mother drags everyone down with her, then I end up being the only adult to clean up her mess because everyone else wants nothing to do with her. The parent/child role has always been reversed with us, to the point in which I honestly had no choice but to raise myself. 

In April last year, I finally told her all of this in the calmest, most rational way anyone could, but it didn't even matter. In her mind, everyone else is the problem and nothing is wrong with her. She tells herself that so often that she genuinely believes that's the truth. 

There is no reasoning, there is no rationale, and I gave up hope that she would ever come to terms with how sick she really is and accept help. 

It's a double edged sword. If I distance myself too far, she could end up hurting herself &amp; other people, or even turn up dead with how bad her behavior has been lately. But if I step in to try to at least make sure her environment is safe, I'm sucked into this delusional non existent problem she has with something or someone, and I'm left just trying to glue everything back together. 

She’s never disappeared like this before, I cannot believe that it’s gotten this bad. Her phone has been off for 3 days, and no one has seen/heard from her in 4 days. 

I can't do this anymore. I've been up for days calling around and worried sick trying to find her, with my worst fear that she's dead somewhere. I'm just tired.