my rude mom has locked me for more than 6 years inside the house, the only time i could get out was when im gonna buy something for THEM(not me) or going to school, im near 13, i feel like a "soyboy" because im unmasculine, bit of a retard, dont do sports, and most of all,  cant fucking talk to people,
i used to play basketball the same year before mom and dad(he's very kind but bit rude and very strict) separated houses, i felt sad for my dad and the new husband because mom ruined dad's life and mine and now the new husband.

how can i change the way i am right now?