Hi all! Yeah, I know, this is not the AITA sub, but as this is closely related to BPD I need my fellow BPD thinkers here.

So long story short, this ex was my very first love, and we broke up in 2015 october. The breakup was the messiest shit I've ever seen, as it dragged on until 2016 may. In these months he got an alibi gf, I fucked his best friend, then we got together again, then his grandma was diagnosed with cancer and tried to kill herself, and then I dumped him over text ( for refusing to touch me then ignoring me over his friends), then he got another gf and then cheated on her with me. Trust me it's better that I don't go into details, the reason why I am telling this, is to show that we both hurt each other a lot.

However, he was the first to "diagnose" me with bpd. He wanted to be a psychologist (he is majoring now i think), and he really did research it. When I read it up then at 16, I really felt that wow that's me. I ended up diagnosed in 2019 october by a professional. 

What I want to message, that he was right, I am indeed BPD, and that I go to therapy now. Also, that it explains why I was such a toxic girlfriend back then (and it essentially ended our otherwise good relationship),and while I don't think it's an excuse, I do regret it. 
I don't really want him to answer anything besides an "okay thank you", but it's been bugging me ever since I was diagnosed. 

When he went on NC in early 2018, we both were a bit... Closer to each other than we should have? The last time we met and talked was when we went out for a car ride, took a few photos in the local forest and overall had a very good time. He brought me back to my apartment, and I invited him up. I had no intentions anything other than to show him what cool place I have (lol), but he started acting strange. I took the hint and got out, said bye and went away. It was pretty awkward. 

Later when I messaged him, he told me that he is going to get baptized (hes coming from a non religious family), and that I represented the sinful past of his. In order to be fully, i dont know, redempted (??) he has to get rid of me. 
We have seen each other in this january on a slampoetry event. He noticed me, but looked pretty confused, and even though I nodded him, he didn't nod back. 

TLDR: we were both toxic assholes, but i was the worse, he went on no contact in 2018. Should I message him that he was right, i have bpd and while its not an excuse explains a lot? 

Actually I never get answers on this sub, but it felt writing down. But if you have read it so far, please drop your judgement in the comments!