So I have trust issues that's one of my main issues I struggle with with my bpd

Yesterday at work money was stolen from my jacket and my bag 
There aren't any lockers for me to use so I have to leave my stuff in the staff room 

I was meant to go into work today but I didn't because I don't know who stole from me and I really don't want to leave my stuff out anymore incase anything else goes missing 

I'm planning on quitting work but I need to find another job first but I'm far too scared and anxious to go in 
Knowing that someone in there has been in my bag 

And it gets worse 
I tried confiding in my boyfriend for help yesterday and he gave logical enough answers but I just wanted a hug but I'm not seeing him till tomorrow night 

I started getting paranoid this morning because he was up later than normal 
Which he got annoyed at 
I then tried to deflect the situation cos I knew I was being irrational 
I asked him if I should go in tomorrow and he said yes to go in to work but I can't face it 

All day it's been going over and over in my head 
I feel like it was a personal attack on me y'know i said to him just recently keep debating wether or not I should go in tomorrow and he ignored it so I asked what he was up to and he said he was away to go to bed and watch a film and I was like  oh so that's what you're ignoring me for huh and he viewed it and ignored me again so I got annoyed because I just wanted someone to talk to make me feel better I ended up saying you with someone? And instantly he replied getting very angry at me saying he's sick of all the accusations and then he was rude and said "you'll probably blame it on being insecure or some shit but I don't care" "I'm sick to the back fucking teeth of this" "asking the same question if you should go in or not" "I'm sick of all this neediness" I'm like it was a joke I just wanted a reply enjoy your movie speak tomorrow and he's like "I'll look forward to the 8am accusations"

I just needed someone to speak to I'm on my own I don't enjoy being on my own 
Yes I'm extremely anxious but reading those messages back it looks as if I can't make decisions for myself 

I am worried he's with someone else because why is he with me when everyone else seems to hate me and is out to get me 

At work I try include myself with other people's conversations in the staff room on breaks and the don't even acknowledge me. My mum would rather spend time with her boyfriend than answer the phone to me 
Then when out of the ordinary things happen my mind explodes and I think the worst like my boyfriend getting up 2 hours later than normal or him watching a movie and going to bed early 



What is it that's wrong with me before everyone seems to dislike me I just want to have friends and fit in with people you know