I've been in the midst of a particularly rough time, splitting, self hate culminating in friends asking if I'm ok, and my cutting them off for caring, most notably I've been fighting my mind to keep my current girlfriend around instead of pushing her away. I love her deeply but can't help thinking about breaking up with her daily for any number of reasons. She's my biggest supporter and the most understanding person in my life. I rely on her even when I'm pushing her away. This afternoon she's checking in to the hospital for her own mental health. (Bipolar, severe depression, and suicidal tendencies.) I'm worried I'm going to fuck it up while she's away or that I'm going to have a breakdown without her here. Any advice on not fucking everything up? 