Hi guys! I initially posted this on a throwaway, but not much response. Also, I am not officially diagnosed with GAD, but I highly suspect I have it, so figured it couldn’t hurt to post here.

Probably my biggest issue as a grown man is that I am absolutely terrified of spending the night alone in a house. In an apartment building, condo, or townhouse (where I am surrounded by neighbors), I’m completely fine. In a private home, however, I get very low quality sleep, and every noise scares me because I know I am truly alone rather than in close proximity to others as I would be in an apartment.

Right now, I live in an apartment on the second floor of a two-family home. My landlord, a single older man in his 60s, lives on the first floor of the home. He is home most of the time, more than me actually, but there usually will come a point in the year where he takes a weekend trip. This means 2-3 nights of me alone, on the second floor of an old house. Somebody could be breaking in on the empty first floor of the house, and I wouldn’t know. That terrifies me. I average 3-4 hours of restless sleep a night when he’s gone. Sometimes, I go stay with a friend for a night instead of torturing myself. If he ever took a trip for a week or two, I feel like I’d lose my mind.

For the record, I am not afraid of burglars. What I am afraid of, is a truly violent crime, such as a stranger breaking into my house and either murdering me or raping me while I’m in bed. I do understand that my landlord would not be able to do anything to protect me if this ever happened, even if he were home. But he could call the authorities before it’s too late. I just feel much safer with him here. Every time I come home late at night, I feel indescribable relief when I see his car in the driveway and the lights on on the first floor.

I live in a quiet, tree-lined neighborhood that happens to be one of the safest in my state, and probably one of the safest in the country. I haven’t heard of a truly violent crime like this ever happening here. And nothing ever happened in my childhood that would cause me to be this scared when my landlord is absent. Is this the same for you guys?