I made a few friends this week but I'm worried they all hate me or think I'm annoying or something and are just being polite but talk about how much they dislike me when I'm not around. I also did the dumbass thing where I decided this one dude and I were gonna fall in love and turns out he has a girlfriend so my stupid idiot brain is upset about that too even though I literally DO NOT KNOW HIM AT ALL. I haven't had any friends for awhile, so I'm probably more worried about this than i would be a few years ago when I did have other people to talk to. Right now it's just my family. And my therapist. It also just feels pathetic that these people I just met are my only friends, and so by default, my closest friends. And I'm DEFINITELY not theirs. They'll probably never consider me close friends, just kind of friends by circumstance or something. I still don't really have anyone to talk to about any more than very very casually. I already probably talk to them too much anyway. Just venting I guess, I don't know.