 I have episodes, whether they're triggered by substances, certain colours, pictures, sounds, of extremely intense feelings of longing, manic hyperactivity, melancholia, bliss. I'm often transported to a different reality than this one, a place where i think i came from. i make no decisions unless they will help me get back to this place. from the movements i make to the food i eat, the music that i listen to and the art i consume, it's nothing to me unless i can get back to this place for a while. it doesn't matter if these experiences are agonising mentally, physically, or blissful nirvana, the very experience of contacting this place again is paradise. the experience of feeling any type of sensation that i know is from this place..my entire life is dedicated to reaching this place, whether its my birthplace or just another veil of reality. it's what i'm meant for. my most distinct and memorable experiences with this \[alternate\] reality are through my dreams. but every single one of my dreams is set in this reality, i don't believe theyre dreams. i'm fully convinced, and i'm fully prepared to be called crazy and offered the advice of mental help. are there any others who experience something like this and DON'T want to change it, ever?