my roommate constantly has something to say and tries to lecture me over shit. i went from a really bad depressive state to extremely hypomanic. i was going out drinking every night and ended up getting sexually assaulted, tried speaking out about it &amp; now they’re taking me to court for it. my roommate wont shut up about how it was my fault and she hopes i learned from my actions and it’s so annoying. my family found out and my mom (who won’t believe that im bipolar &amp; tells me not to take meds) told me i deserve what happened to me since i put myself in that situation and that she’s happy i’m upset about it. my friend wont stop holding things i’ve done while manic against me. i’m so tired of it. i feel like im constantly at war with my own head and now i feel like i am with the people im closest with too. i wish they could be more understanding of what it’s like. i try to explain having bp as like being in the backseat of a car going as fast as it can &amp; driving as w reckless as it can and i have no control over the wheel. it’s not very good but it’s the best i can explain it. i just get told i have control over my actions and like i know i do but sometimes it feels so impossible to go against what’s going on in my head. i just want to feel understood for once in my life but i don’t see it ever happening. reading the posts in this subreddit is the only time i feel seen.