So this isn't necessarily related to having bpd.. but it could be that my mental illness, my insecurities and my issues with boundaries are making it worse. 

One of my coworkers told me he has feelings for me. I didn't really know how to respond, so I tried to just shrug it off and forget about it. He wouldn't let it go though and he kept trying to pursue me no matter how much I ignored him. After almost 3 months of this, I finally got up the nerve to text him and say I wasn't interested. He said he understood and for a while he backed off. That happened about 4 weeks ago. I've been making a point to avoid him as much as I can, and part of that is speaking to him only when it is absolutely necessary. I'm not trying to lead him on or send him mixed signals, it should be loud and clear that I am not interested.   

I told him that I only wanted to be friends at work and nothing else, but this morning he asked me if he could give me a ride home. You might be thinking "oh my god he offered to give you a ride the nerve of him!" but to me it feels like he's not respecting the boundaries I've tried to set, I explicitly said *nothing* outside of work . I lied and said my dad was coming to get me. Honestly I don't feel comfortable being alone with him. Now, I don't think he's a bad guy at all, it's just very awkward for me. I feel like he's still going to try and win me over and I don't want to do anything that would give him the idea that I'll change my mind. 

I've asked to be moved to another department, but it hasn't happened. I feel a little bad for him, he's only 24 so maybe he's inexperienced, he's from Uganda so maybe there's a cultural element at play, I'm probably the only woman he ever sees on a regular basis. I don't want to be mean to him. 

I honestly feel like I am somehow at fault for this. I wasn't assertive enough and I didn't communicate properly and now this guy is going to get hurt because of me.