I’ve lost two children, one stillborn one his kidneys didn’t develop I chose to have a termination for medical reasons. 
Now I have no additional support other than sands the support group and antidepressants for now. The stages are slow and tedious of loss. 
Planning my own sons funeral is something I thought I would never do ever. 
The songs we played were
 -here comes the sun 
-beautiful boy 
-Brahms lullaby 
-Elizabeth Mitchell - you are my sunshine
-twinkle twinkle little star. 
I just feel so alone and depressed. 
I have no one who’s experienced stillborn around me and I’m happy about that. 
Just venting as I’m super sad and flooding in tears while typing this.