I am devastated. I’ve been dating a guy since this summer and although I have been having flare ups of my bpd, things were going really well. My bf is part of a tight knit friend group - they all went to school together and his ex is also in this group, they see each other when they’re home from the holidays (from uni) etc. They mean the world to him, as making friends at uni has been difficult during covid. 

Yesterday evening his ex messaged him asking why he hadn’t replied to her in a while - not really important - but as he sought out advice from another friend in this group he found out that people in the friend group, including his ex, are worried about me having BPD. They don’t want him to be responsible for me, they don’t want my illness to negatively affect him - and they even said I seemed like I was controlling. There is no evidence for this really since I haven’t ever met them, and things have been going so well between us that I’m surprised they’d think this. One of them is studying to become a doctor which really hurts, seeing as I thought medical professionals would be understanding about mental health stuff. 

Now I’m just unsure what to do. My bf can’t speak to the people who think this, as he’s not even supposed to know that they do. Even so, I definitely can’t be with someone whose friends don’t like me. I feel like this is the end of our relationship because these people mean the world to him, and I’d never make him choose between them or me - but at the same time, I can’t be in a relationship where his friends don’t like me. I feel like I have to break up with him now - I see no other way out. I’m so sad.