I’m very new to posting to reddit, but this has gotten pretty scary and debilitating for me. I’m was recently diagnosed with bpd about a year ago, and i’m aware that dissociation comes often to people with bpd and also trauma (which I have both of). However, recently I have been getting these very odd physical panic attacks. It starts at my feet going numb and then everyone becomes fuzzy and I feel like I’m just “gone”. Sometimes I become paralyzed in a sense and when I move my body parts feel like they’re not arms or legs just these heavy jiggly things, as odd as that sounds. This feeling then leads to a panic attack which makes the physical sensations worse. Sometimes my eyes will roll to the back of my head and I’ll become so scared and paralyzed. Reality feels so weird and I need someone in my house to ground me. They usually last about an hour and then most of the time I’ll fall asleep after. Then, when I wake up, or after the worst part of the panic passes, my body will still feel tingly and numb, especially my left side (I don’t know if that left side numbness is just a psychosomatic thing). This level of intensity has happened about five times in the past month, and every single time I convince myself I’m dying because the possible dissociation feels so physical rather than mental. Everything goes numb and the physical feelings are mostly numb, tingly, my heart feels like it’s on fire, and my environment becomes very far away from me. The mental feelings because of the distressing feelings turns mostly into severe anxiety and paranoia, however I feel so physically sick that I can’t get words out, only grunting sounds and quiet screams, and the occasional sentence. I’ve done a lot of research of dissociation, (DP and DR) however everything I see doesn’t feel like it exactly fits this feeling. It’s so hard to explain in words. I don’t even know if this has to do with BPD or trauma and that’s what worries me the most, that this is just something that no one has, at least the physical part. Now this occasional feeling is only recently happening to me. I’ve also recently been weaning off my Effexor after being on it for almost a year (my psychiatrist approved it) because it gave me severe withdrawal and physical side effects. I don’t know if that could have anything to do with it? Either way I’m very scared there is something wrong with me because I’m a young, paranoid person. Any advice, ideas, input, support, and validation would be appreciated. This is my first reddit post so sorry if it’s set up wrong.