In every social environment I enter, I seem normal and likeable to people. I'm great at making first impressions.

And then I start settling in. Then I start oversharing about my personal bullshit to the point where it numbs people and my emotions are all over the place, especially anger, so then I'm ranting about negative things nobody wants to hear about. I start clinging onto new friends and wanting to hang out all the time but they never initiate anything and sooner or later, we forget each other's existence when I go from fearing them abandoning me 24/7, to splitting on them because they're annoying me by not talking to me or doing anything with me at all. 

I have good intentions but I'm scared that I appear as an enraged walking flag and nobody wants to be around me. I'm scared I go from likeable to unlikable. I'd like to form proper connections with others but I don't know how. People who develop an interest in me get tired of me and it hurts. I have a lot to offer but I'm nothing if I'm just this ball of anger, intensity, and chaos that gradually gets worse and worse.