So,  I've tried everything for the last decade or two... Meds,  hospitalizations,  therapy,  DBT, research,  etc.  I have learned skills along the way,  especially from DBT classes,  but... let's just say that I was in a rut.  

Then last month I had the opportunity to travel to Europe for 3 wks and I had so many wks of pure happiness.  The walking wore me out,  but in a good way. I lost weight,  loved their food,  chatted with people in the pubs and just had an overall amazing month.  I don't know if it's because it was all new to me or if I just value their culture that much. 

Can I stress their fresh food and kindness again??? I've been back for a week and I already feel isolated just like before. I want to break this cycle somehow.  I can't afford to travel again for awhile,  but I loved their personalities. They would spend 2 - 3 hours just chatting over tea. 2 euros got you either a homemade chicken spaghetti meal or one basic donut from Krispy Kreme. You just wanted to eat healthy food bc of the cost,  but also bc of the flavors.  

My guess is that it's me,  not the country. I just don't know how to change. I was genuinely happy again after so long. I want that feeling again. 