Woke up with a jump scare today, my fire alarm going off, no smoke or anything. Happened last year as well, at the same time too, my s/o woke up with me, and I reassured her that she doesn't need to worry, it's it's same thing that happened last year there was no fire and then 2 seconds later it stopped. 10 minutes later it went on. That happened for the next hour. Called the fire department because we wanted to figure out what was going wrong. They came checked everything said one of them was faulty (it's a whole home fire system so if one goes off all go off). They fixed it, and said to be on the lookout for it. 


Okay cool it's 7 am, let's chill and catch my breath. My s/o goes to sleep. But I can't. I fucking know in my head what's going on. Rationally LOGICALLY I KNOW. I know that it's a freak fucking accident but that doesn't stop my brain from going full blown panic mode. My fucking autonomic nervous system working at 120%. I study this i know what I have to do. So I do. I do my meditations and I start calming down a little not fully. Decide to go for a shower, and the fucking light fixture breaks mid shower. OH THERE GOES MY AUTONOMIC SYSTEM AGAIN. 

I can't fucking stand, and I'm so annoyed at myself. I feel so helpless. I'm able to help people like my s/o to not worry but my mind... my mind can't piece it together. I help people daily, that's what I'm in school for, right now it's just friends and family when they go through panis attacks I can help them calm down. But I can't. I can't even help myself... I don't know what the fuck I'm doing I can't do shit to help me. It's just all the fucking time all the FUCKING TIME these alarms going off. For no reason. But it's going off.