*I'll probably cringe at this in a few hours but writing down my jumbled thoughts really helps me at the time. I woke up after dreaming about my favourite person again for the second night in a row. So today I'm reliving my teens with some angsty poetry*™ 🤷  
I know you think I'm crazy,  
That I'm just making up a scene,  
I know you won't take me seriously,  
Because that's the way it's always ***been***.

All you ever do is think of yourself,  
What's convenient for you,  
And ***nothing*** else.

You got what you wanted,  
So you'll be going now,  
Yet the silence you've left me with,  
Still ***haunts*** me, ***taunts*** me,  
Destroys me, somehow.

Nothing seems to matter,   
I lie there paralysed,  
Trying to decipher;  
Which parts were real,  
Which were ***lies***?

If I knew that I was dreaming,  
That all you would do is take,  
Why do I feel so robbed,  
Why does my world still ***shake***?

I just want to ***close*** my eyes,  
Forget we ever met,  
Fuck what waits outside,  
Abandon what I'll never get.

It's always ***all*** or ***nothing***,  
There is no inbetween,  
I loved you with every fibre of my being,  
The afterglow has faded,  
Twisted into something obscene.

You never really knew me,  
It wasn't ***worth*** your while,  
But my dignity meant nothing,  
In contrast to your smile.

It's always ***all for nothing***,  
Still I know I'll never learn,  
I'll latch on like a leech again,  
And ***yearn***, and ***yearn***, and ***yearn***.