I started therapy in September after the loss of a pet. I blamed myself and was at one of the lowest points I've ever been in in my entire life. My therapist is WONDERFUL, but a month or so ago, she brought something to my attention...and said she thought I was bi-polar (bi-polar II, specifically). I cried because I don't WANT to have something else "wrong" with me...I want to be normal. I want to be fine. I know being in denial doesn't help anything (this has been a battle I've been fighting for several decades, but it just gets more and more overwhelming). She recommended I get a second opinion...I did. Same diagnosis. Third opinion. Same thing. I was put on meds...an anti-depressant and a mood stabilizer. They gave me THE WORST migraines so I stopped taking them. I've shifted back into a depressed state and I'm REALLY trying to hide it, but I don't think I'm doing a good job. I am frustrated. I am angry. I am spiraling...but I'm holding the line as best as I can. I just feel like I'm going to burst. I pull away from people during these times (that's been my habit for years), but I know they know.  

I'm scared to take anything new because the migraines were AWFUL - I'd never had them before, but I was sensitive to light and sound (which sucks because I spend my days listening to music and podcasts when I'm not on the phone with clients...and even being on the phone hurt). I was prescribed new meds, but I'm afraid. I KNOW I have to do something, but...I'm having a really hard time with this. 

I checked to see if this is something that's already been posted and there have been similar posts but nothing quite like what I'm asking, at least not that I found...hopefully that's okay; I don't mean to post a repetitive topic, I just wanted to talk to someone. I know I have a therapist and a psychiatrist but I know their stance already...and I know what my siblings would say...I'm just hoping to hear from someone who understands how I feel because I'm literally terrified (I was ALWAYS afraid of medication, but after the migraines, I'm even more afraid...I just feel like I pushed past my fear once and it bit me...I'm not keen on doing it again). Any advice on how you got over your initial fear would be appreciated and helpful. I'm struggling pretty badly with this over here. 

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Thank you!