I had a therapy appointment earlier today. I finally got the answers that I wanted. Or at least, it explains the way I am and why I am this way. I have a huge problem with controlling my emotions, and I definitely can’t handle being in a relationship and feeling rejected. My blow-ups caused massive damage that’s going to take a long time to repair. Seeing the damage I did, I contacted a therapist. I went through the intensive questioning and talking to multiple people before they told me I have BPD. I’m scared, I don’t know who I’ve become and this has overtaken my life and my ability to be a rational human being. I have a therapy appointment tomorrow which I’m looking forward to, but I’m going to need a lot of time to work on me before repairing the relationships I so badly burned.