not exactly sure where to post this but i've had the biggest urge to just disappear from all my family friends and anyone for a while. I'll come back but i want a break. I also want to see if anyone would care or whatever which i know is extremely messed up but i dont know, I just wanna see what would happen.

i dont feel like anyone appreciates me or cares about me or loves me and i guess this could be me wanting to test what people think of me? idk. i also just want a break. i'm too dependent on everyone and clingy and annoying and i wanna give everyone a break from myself. i can tell i annoy everyone so would it really be that bad? 

i'm not necessarily suicidal or anything, I just want some space and i dont want anyone to know. i wanna just do it. 

i've been considering just leaving for a few weeks, maybe two or three just to test the waters and then eventually if i like it enough i'll do it again for a few months.

part of me wants to do it to work on myself and my independence and the other part just wants to see if anyone would miss me.