I just spent a lot of time reading what people had to say about “loved ones” with BPD. It seemed like the situations they experienced were extremely similar to what I endured with my ex who had NPD. Now I might just be crossing into “magical thinking” but it is extremely common for NPD &amp; BPD people to end up dating. And it is also really common for NPD to flip the entire situation &amp; play victim &amp; try to “out pain” the other. 

So basically, I’m having a crisis wondering if it’s possible a lot of the BPD “loved ones” are NPD &amp; just projecting. Or maybe my ex was misdiagnosed &amp; actually a petulant BPD. I just wanted to understand how others relate to us, but based off that thread…. 😬 Idk if I’ve just been to “enough” therapy, but the behaviors they described typical for us, I can’t relate to. I’m loyal to a fault &amp; would do anything for anyone I once loved if they needed me. No matter how long it’s been or how things ended. The “love bombing” &amp; “discard” sounds so much more like NPD than BPD. I can see how our abandonment issues could imitate that.  For me, I’m so empathetic I would torment myself if I even just thought I hurt someone’s feelings. 

Don’t get me wrong, some of the stuff made sense. But I also don’t think it’s extremely common for us to be cheaters or pathological liars or intentionally cruel. I feel like all the self awareness therapy has made me hyper aware of what could be wrong with other people. I just want to have a mutual understanding with everyone so everyone can be happy. 

Can anyone else relate to this confusion? Or even just the way I’m thinking about it?