I know, it’s my inner critic right?  No. There’s something wrong with the way people treat me as well, and it validates my negative self image. 

People talk over me constantly. Ignore comments I make or anything I share (I literally get silence- and I’m not having difficult conversations!). Some people won’t even look at me for even a second if I talk to them. If I ask how someone is they don’t bother to ask how I am, EVER. I say I love you or I appreciate you, and nothing in return. Maybe just an emoji, and I never am told that I’m appreciated. 

I am very criticized by others. Mostly in the past it was my family, but outsiders do too. I feel like people expect me to be absolutely perfect and when I’m not, I’m worthless. People don’t smile at me, even though I smile at them as naturally as I can with being suicidal right now. I feel like I annoy people and burden them even when I’m rightfully needing to ask for help or a know-how. 

It’s just to the point where I actually feel very isolated and alone- not due to me not trying but because people are very mean to me from the start. Maybe I’m unattractive and they just are automatically inclined to expect an ugly attitude from me- but all I want is a friend or someone to just be happy to work alongside me at work. I make a huge effort to try to make this better for myself but every nasty response I get from others makes me want to give up and put a gun to my head.