My mother legitimately believes I am manipulating her through my emotions and mental health. When I was a sophomore in high school, and was crying on the way to therapy because I was debating whether or not to disclose to my therapist my active suicide plan for the following day, she accused me of purposefully “amping myself up” to manipulate my therapist into believing I was suffering so that they could in turn blame her. She frequently states that she believes that I go out of my way to fake or over exaggerate emotions in order to make her feel bad. 

I am a freshman in college, and have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, PTSD, and have exhibited past psychosis. If not for the quarantine and closing of colleges I would be on campus right now and not trapped with my mother. Earlier this month, I was having genuine trouble breathing and shortness of breath, and she claimed that I was purposefully trying to manipulate her when I told her this by “acting scared” and “faking the severity”. 

How can I possibly explain to my mom that I am not trying to manipulate her, and am not faking my symptoms and emotions? The only time she acknowledges my mental health is if it benefits her (ex. is when i’m in a bad mood and she says something like ‘oh I know it’s cause you’re off your meds’ or when she wants me to exaggerate my symptoms to my college to get free stuff). My therapist knows about this btw. Any words of wisdom or advice would be appreciated.