In middle school though high school i was a friendless loser. Always spurred by the 'it will get better when im an adult' mindset. Then i can do what i want and play video games and eat fast food without asking my mom to drive me place. a young dumb kid but at least i had hope in this world.  i also did stuff. i exercised, i intermingled with classmates, even though it was forced by teachers, i had hobbies, i lived with a supportive family.  Now?  done with college.  still haven't found anything im passionate about. working dead end jobs since junior college and no direction in life. moved out from my childhood home because 'independence' and now i'm lonely and miserable AF.  now i'm closer to 30 than 20 and  all i have in my life is the constant pressures of paying bills and adult stuff. can't just  say oh my parents will take care of it i'll just watch tv or play gamecube and stay up till 3am to relax. most mornings i lay in bed and stare at the ceiling and just can't pry myself out. i used to wake up at 5am to go to work now i find myself staying in bed till 9, 10 even 11 in the morning.  then i just go on the computer and  do my work which is usually either barely enough or not enough to pay the bills because i'm self employed and work retail combined.  it kills me inside when family members ask 'oh so what are you doing for work now that you are graduated?' and i have to make up some BS that i run a successful online business. i just can't fathom living another 40+ years like this.  i feel like i cant even go back home because im too old and my parents want to live their own live independent of me, its not fair to them if i was to go back.  my social skills have always been terrible. any career job even if i land an interview i'll not get it because they can see how awkward and weird i am because i haven't emotionally  aged beyond the age of like 15.  i still feel like a kid in an adults body who is stuck doing things i never wanted to do. i sound like a whiny brat but i just hate being an adult. i hate working and i hate responsibilities. its amazing the things i wanted most as a kid turns out to be the things i hate most.