I just want to vent 
Im so fucking tired,
I have dealing with what i call sadness waves as early as I could remember, and it effected my memory so bad cause I can’t even remember my childhood i just remember being sad. 

For most parts I could handle these waves, i had control over them, i belt a strong wall that can handle it it did break down years ago when i was in 8th grade i had horrible melt down would cry in class and my friends were worried they like to think that they were the one that helped me and i let them believe that but the truth is I’m the one that pulled myself up and I learnt how to handle it better and mor important how to hide it and not let anyone see what I’m going throw otherwise i would look like a little kid that is begging for help and I would look pathetic and be pathetic. 

This waves started to come more often to a point where they are non stop i have been telling myself it’s okay i go throw this sometimes i know I always get out of this “ mood swing “ it’s okay just hang a little more its not my first rodeo but more than half a year have passed and the wave is getting bigger and I’m getting tired. I’m just tired at this point. I’m really really tired. And I don’t think i can handle it myself but I don’t have anyone to turn to. 

( English is my third language)