It’s been so many years of this that I can’t really cry anymore. I just don’t want to be here, I’m frustrated about being alive. I used to be be consumed by my thoughts but now it’s just a singular constant one and I think that’s even worse. It’s never not telling me to give up, that it would be easier if I did. At least when there was a stream of bad thoughts I would be distracted by the next one but with this my mind just can’t catch a break. I don’t understand how people can live so easily.