I have a stutter in my speech, and no amount of therapy, getting out, etc. seems to cure it. Thus, the only job I ever wanted (cabin crew), I can never get. I have continuous obsessive thoughts about soccer. I have soccer highlights playing in my head 24/7. It feels so torturous and exhausting. My head always feels so heavy due to these involuntary images appearing in my mind of the highlights. I take one highlight, replace the players with other ones, and I imagine a new highlight. It pains me knowing I am thinking and obsessing about something so pointless and stupid. I obsess over millionaire athletes who don't care about me or my dream, rather than on movies or TV shows, where I feel try storytelling is provided. This OCD-like symptom I have means every day I focus on my thinking rather than on my education now. I am ruining my life. I am generally very lazy, and can only do work at the last minute. Every day, I waste my summer break trying to fight my obsessive thoughts and giving myself reassurance rather than learning something new or doing anything productive. My focus in general is very poor. I feel like I have a stutter, OCD, and ADHD. The OCD and ADHD are not diagnosed, but I feel like I always have them. The worst part, is that I know just how lucky I was to be born a human, and to be born in a first world country. And I wasted my life, thinking about soccer, rather than something meaningful. I regret the day I first watched soccer in 2018. Had I not clicked on that one video 4 years ago, I would not be in this mess right now. I always appear depressed to my parents. I always feel like everyone either pities me, or wants to insult me, both in my household and at my part time job. I hate my part time job too. Help me, I don't want to waste my life. But my OCD-like symptoms are taking it away. I begin to panic fearing that I will think about soccer my whole life, and waste my one and only chance at a human, first world nation, consiousness.