So, Im really starting to wonder if my horrific physical ailments I'm going through right now are really due to anxiety. I have been SURE that something is deeply wrong with me physically for so long but I'm notificing that sometimes, it improves a lot when I'm reassured. That's what is making me question things.

I got a virus last week and was super sick. Suddenly, I noticed my legs were tingling a little bit. I was really stressed about being sick because initially I thought it was a bacterial infection and worried about getting sepsis. Anyway, I Google "legs numb after being sick" and came across Guillan Barre syndrome, reading that people can die from it paralyzing them and suppressing their breathing. I KNOW I'm anxious about breathing things, because I watched my brother suddenly suffocate in front of me at 22 years old and I tried cpr but he died. Ever since, breathing issues really scare me.

Anyway, once I read that, I was freaking out. Over the night, I felt my legs go almost completely numb. I was convinced I had GB, so I rushed to finish my work and basically prepare to be in the hospital for a month.. Literally it's 1am and I'm getting my affairs in order to be hospitalized. I rush to the ER and they don't seem too concerned but after a while, the numbness turned to pain and I stopped freaking out. Once they told me they really didn't think it was that, I calmed down and felt better. They did say my potassium was a bit low so they gave me potassium and also prednisone due to all the weird nerve things happening since I was sick. I woke up, was fine. Then I started to feel heavy, and panicked again. I continued to internally freak out the whole damn day, afraid to even go to sleep because I felt so weird. Then, I decided I needed to just fucking stop and go do something. I went to the store and felt fine the entire time.. Walked around for hours grocery shopping feeling totally good. I came out and was standing outside my car when suddenly my legs started tingling again. I felt a whoosh of tingling down my whole body, my hands started shaking and I got in my car where my heart rate skyrocketed. I recognized this as a panic attack.. At that point I told myself to fucking chill and then was OK again, save for just feeling shaky now all over.

Main thing was that when I'm busy, I feel so much better. When I sit alone in my house? I fucking feel every symptom from muscle weakness, numbness, rapid heart rate, flu like symptoms. My blood tests are all good, ekg is all good, CT scan is good, blood pressure is good.

Am I just fucking losing my mind and making this shit happen in my head??