I'm sitting on the floor of my dorm room with all of my xanax pills and I'm this close to actually doing it. I have an exam tomorrow in a class I have a 78 in because I fucked up on the last exam and I've been so nervous I haven't studied.  I relapsed after a year of not cutting today and started skipping meals again yesterday. Nothing seems like it's going to get better and I'm so fucking sick of it all and no one getting it and being alone literally all of the time. I feel so lost and like I don't exist because ultimately no one actually sees me or knows me. This is honestly so stupid because I know I'm too much of a fucking loser and a fucking failure to actually do anything. I'm just going to sit here on the floor all night, fail my exam, fail the class, and keep fucking up my life more and more and becoming more and more miserable. I just don't know what to do anymore. Everything seems hopeless