woke up feeling arbitrarily disoriented and catatonic and trudged through the day. stayed up until 4:00 am doing essay for school while struggling to maintain consciousness. after finishing essay i took a melatonin and suddenly proceeded to have the most intense, hyperactive, emotionally charged episode of a manic something. extreme bodily restlessness, cant lay still without my body jolting out of stasis, extreme rage—punching refrigerator, my head, etc, enraged guttural grunts, heart pounding, high body temp. not sure if to attribute this to my bipolar or something different—regardless it is frustrating to be completely deprived of your faculties when they are needed most, only to have them return to you in such an unstable, condensed form. i guess i wont be sleeping tonight (morning now).