Long post! 

Hey guys,

So for a little background: I write little excerpts that are usually fictional but sometimes are based on my feelings. I post them on my Snapchat story allll the time because my friends tell me they enjoy reading them. 

Anyways, I’ve started seeing this guy. It’s only been a week and we’ve only had one date but our second is tomorrow, supposedly. During this week, I have explained my history of emotional abuse by my past 2 boyfriends but didn’t specifically say I have BPD traits since I’m in therapy and we are undoing the trauma and I’m pretty much recovered since I don’t have enough traits to be BPD (according to my therapist). I still possess some tendencies though. 

He took it very well. He told me it was not my fault, he’s proud I’m still here, and he still complimented me and laughed at my jokes. Last night he told me “I will be busy most of tomorrow, but I do not want you sitting around and thinking. I want you to go out and distract yourself. Whenever you’re crying or think you’re going to fall apart, tell me.” Even this morning he texted me that I’m amazing after I messaged him something while he was sleeping.

Like damn, yes, this is what I’ve been looking for these past few years. Anyways, today I posted a little writing excerpt based on that interaction, and he saw it. I had messaged him prior about something but didn’t open it. But he saw the writing. I immediately got paranoid thinking: that was too much, he probably thinks I’m clingy, I came on too strong, etc etc. I even deleted the story and APOLOGIZED for having overdramatic writing :/ he’s still out with his family and hasn’t opened my messages so I’m trying not to freak out but I’m pretty sure he’s either gonna ghost me or cancel tomorrow or say he’s not interested or something and I don’t know what to do bc I’m sure I ruined the one good thing I’ve had in years lol 

TL;DR: Started seeing an accepting and perfect guy, I wrote an excerpt based on an interaction we had and put on my story. He saw it and has not replied to messages. I think he thinks I’m clingy/too much and I’m paranoid he’s going to ghost me.