When I go online, even YouTube, I get dating ads, sex chat ads, and ads specifically for latina/black girl p*rn. Its been happening for a few weeks, but the last few days it has been way more noticeable.

The reason this triggers me is because in the past my bf was addicted to latina p*rn and I'm white, so it gave me major self esteem issues. He couldn't get it up for me, or even orgasm for me, but he would always masturbate to these things, even behind my back. Before bed I would ask him for sex and he would say maybe later, and then once he thought i was asleep he would masturbate to these videos. Even if I offered a bj he would reject me and do that. He always said he was attracted to me, etc, but I just couldn't believe him. 

He agreed to not watch p*rn anymore and it took me months to believe that but I think he did stop.

I can't watch p*rn at all without getting triggered, so i know that the ads aren't based on my "interests" like some websites do. I'm worried somehow that the ads are appearing on my phone because my bf has been watching them again and the Wi-Fi for our house is giving ads to me based on his usage of these things. I don't even know if that's possible, but alas my BPD brain likes that idea.

Lately we haven't been having a lot of sex and I keep seeing these ads on my phone. He usually gets horny when he's home with me and he hasn't been asking or wanting anything, even though I'm almost always willing.

 In the past he would "go to the bathroom" and spend 30 minutes in there and say he was pooping but he wouldn't want me to do anything sexual after that, didnt even want me to touch down there. He said its because its sensitive from the last time we did anything, sometimes that would be 2 or 3 days, but it was because he just masturbated.

 i notice he's been "going to the bathroom" for a long time before bed and maybe 4 times during the day lately. Usually he goes 1-2 times. I'm so scared he is doing these things again. He has been having a hard time getting hard again. He always goes when im asleep, either in the morning or right before i fall asleep.

I'm probably wayyyy over analyzing but these ads just bring all the ugly feelings back. I wanna split on him and accuse him of doing these things behind my back again. I feel so unwanted and ugly when I see these things. I just am mortified my bf would do these things in the first place and after the first issue i couldn't handle going through it again. It would probably be the thing that ends us because I simply cannot handle feeling inferior to latina and black girls because I dont have that body and never will.