i’ve been back in my shitty hometown for almost 2 years now &amp; i hate it. before i was living in a bigger state and city that had a lot more opportunities &amp; fun things to do. i was in college studying computer science, had an apartment with my ex &amp; life was good for a while. but i had to return to my hometown due to covid putting my college online &amp; needing to get away from my ex cause the relationship got abusive. here in my hometown, i can’t get the degree i want here cause they college here literally doesn’t offer it. there’s no opportunities for me here. it’s also very boring here. nothing but sleazy dirty bars &amp; casinos filled with nasty cigarettes smoke. i stay away from drugs, alcohol &amp; gambling cause i’m trying to improve my life not ruin it more. there’s no natural beauty here at all. it’s a very depressing place to live. i only stay here cause my dad gave me a house. it’s an older foreclosure home but it’s a good size home with a garage, driveway &amp; backyard. so my goal is to fix it up so i can rent it or sell it. everything is so expensive that i need the extra money if i want to move out of this dump &amp; finish college somewhere else. but i barely started to build my credit so it’s gonna take a while till i can get a loan. &amp; i still struggle with my mental illness everyday. i have anxiety, depression, ADHD &amp; PTSD from being in an abusive relationship with a narcissist from my hometown. it’s super difficult for me concentrate &amp; keep a full time job. i’ve been admitted into the psychward due to self hard &amp; it’s so overwhelming. sometimes i struggle to clean my house &amp; keep on top of things. jobs here are either farm work, shitty factory jobs or basic low paying jobs. its an insult that jobs here pay $11 an hour when that isn’t enough to over basic necessities. don’t tell me it’s cause the cost of living is low here cause it’s not. on top of everything the only person i have is my elderly mother. i have no friends here. i’ve tried to make friends but they were negative ppl or just wanted me for sex. i’m alone, i feel stuck in this cesspool all by myself. i have a therapist &amp; psychiatrist but it isn’t enough. i’ve tried new hobbies &amp; going to the gym but i got sexually harassed at the gym so it kinda ruined it for me. i still go but i’m always worried about who’s there; that i might get harassed again. nothing seems to go right for me. i even think about ending it sometimes.