There's a lot to post about regarding this topic, but I'll try to condense as much as I can. A sibling of mine in their early 30s was diagnosed w Asbergers (about 10 years ago). The diagnosis came right after they started to drink heavily, got laid off, gets blackout drunk, got physical w my mom, dad and I, and was even found in the hospital several times due to DUIs. They're constantly doing odd things like throwing stuff away in the house, cooking and leaving a mess, leaving the garage open, and getting very aggressive on occasion. Every time they sober up the next day, they're in complete denial- going so far as to accuse someone of coming into the house just to throw our personal belongings away. 

The drunken madness turned into sober madness. They started to accuse me of trying to sic my boyfriend on them, started to blame my mom for their failures, and would never stick to any promises or commitments. 

This sibling hasn't worked since the 10 years ago. The lies have evolved into stories of travels they've never been on, serving in the military when they never have, lying about starting their own business and working for industries they never worked for, and now they're lying about having some estranged wife and kids that no one has ever seen or heard of until about 1.5 years ago.

I've tried to convince this person to get help, but they say it doesn't help for people like them. My mom supports them financially (although she's retired) and is too scared and cares too deeply to kick them out. Our dad died recently and they seemed super convincing about finding a job, quiting drinking, and turning their life around. Only to find out 3 weeks after our dad's passing this sibling is drinking heavier than ever and doing absolutely nothing. They mentioned being super depressed about our dad's passing, but won't do anything to address their feelings other than drinking their life away.

I'm really scared one day this person's going to end up killing or hurting my mom during one of their blackout drunken nights. Ive tried to convince her to move in w us, but she doesnt want to "burden" my husband, daughter and me. 

I'm too scared as well to confront them because it will likely trigger a series of events where they'll drink, get rowdy at night putting my mom's safety at risk, and then going after me either emotionally or physically (this has happened too many times, no amount of talking, just being there or listening helps).

So, instead of trying to figure out how to cure or help this person, I just want to be able to exist in the same room and not somehow piss this person off just by breathing wrong. In order to do this, I wanted to reach out to the community to see if anyone can help diagnose my sibling so I can kind of figure things out for my own sanity.

Thanks!