I've ruined everything in my life including my will to live. This isn't ideation anymore, I want to die I just want to do it in a way that doesn't leave a big mess for anyone left behind. I can't seem to figure that out since I've been homeless for about eight months and unemployed for fourteen. I can't seem to figure out much at all which is why I figure I should probably just kill myself.

Maybe I could tie a noose around my neck and the swing the rope over a branch and then tie the other end to my rear bumper and put my car in drive down my (sloping) driveway? I don't have neighbors and my property is surrounded by giant boulders so my car won't hurt anyone else.

Maybe I could take 20 50mg quetiapine and 5 25mg Xanax and tape my mouth shut and zip tie my own hands behind my back?

Making it look like an accident would be ideal. Maybe 'accidentally' mix ammonia and bleach in a small unventilated room? Maybe cut my own break line and drive off a closed/broken bridge with my pedal to the floor?

Nobody will believe it's an accident, everyone will know I killed myself because I'm a loser. So maybe just slit my wrists in the woods somewhere. Honestly who cares. I don't have the energy to try to not be a fucked up useless person who can't do anything right anymore