Long story short, I don't jealous and insecure in regards to an ex. I tried to be ok and act normal. There really was no issue at all there. But I found one. I made a problem and I let the poison take over and spewed it out in the form of a bunch of shitty messages to him. 

I really just don't think it's worth it anymore. No matter how wonderful *they* are, it's me that's the problem and no matter how desperately I try to have control over things, something always happens. Poor impulse control and I just let the jealousy and insecurity flow. 

Borderlines are just better off alone.