So i’ve experimented with trans escorts a few times now but never performed oral until today after trying poppers for the first time. Now I don’t think i would have done it if it wasn’t for the “high” and as a man im regretting this heavily..i need to get out of the loop and don’t know how as im attracted to women and would only consider a relationship with a women. I don’t know where i stand psychologically on the topic and its messing with me. 

Before i went i was very unsure my mind was all over the place go or don’t go, out of compulsion i called and eventually went. I feel like i was having a bi-polar episode but gave in to temptation.

Now i have anxiety over where I stand and how to stop.