For example, I'm currently working with a mental health coach/mentor who has material for me to digest, habits to practice, etc. We also are supposed to have calls a couple times a week. This last week especially has been unproductive for me and I have not been doing the regime whatsoever (meditation, breathing, certain mindfulness practices, daily reflections, etc). This has made me kinda distant with this person as a result, and I feel guilty that I haven't been committing. I feel compelled to sugar coat my week when we talk on the phone but I also have to submit a weekly reflection. 

Like even though its my own recovery/wellness, I almost feel "burdened" to do these things (even though I KNOW I want to do them for my benefit). Even though I want and am paying for this treatment, some negative anxious part of my mind is twisting it into being pissed off at someone else, like "Agh, this guy's on my case" lol, its so annoying. It's like theres some disconnect or barrier between what I truly want to do and my actions. My focus is shitty, and a lot of my days feel discombobulated and filled with internal resistance. I'd be curious to hear anyones' thoughts on this. How do I wakeup and DO the things I KNOW I want to DO? I just feel anxious about not doing tasks even though I want to do them.