not on purpose, of course. i’m on no mission to get a ton of diagnoses. my doctors are the ones bringing them up. 

first, i was told i have ocd. then, adhd. soon after, i was given a ptsd diagnosis. recently, i learned i have both bpd and bipolar disorder. now, i don’t even know where to start when asked what i have. 

autism was brought up as a possibility but since my diagnoses are already a jumbled up mess i don’t want to add on to, i shut it down and convinced myself i didn’t meet the diagnostic criteria. sometimes, though, i wonder if i actually am autistic. 

sure, having one mental illness increases the risk of having another, but the probability of me suffering from everything i’m diagnosed with seems quite slim. this past year, i began getting tested for other sorts of disorders, too, such as hEDS, pots, and pans. 

is having an excessive amount of diagnoses really as odd as i think it is? sometimes i feel like a medical mystery.