Hi all,

I've recently been diagnosed with generalized anxiety and depression, stemming from the pressure of applying to and trying to get into medical school — I've been prescribed Zoloft by my GP as a result.  This ultimately all started at the start of the summer.  Because of my lowered mood, I've started to drink again — after \~1.5 years sober — when I go out with my friends in an effort to self-medicate and escape my feelings.  I've noticed that I tend to take things a little far with the drinking, and that I sometimes act obnoxiously and rudely towards my friends (whom I absolutely adore, and would feel absolutely terrible if I did anything to jeopardize our relationship).  My friends are fully aware that I've been struggling, and they've been really supportive and lenient when I tend to go overboard.

The other night, in my obnoxious and inebriated state of mind, I just could not stop badmouthing my friend's ex-girlfriend, and I could tell he was upset with me.  I immediately apologized, and he seemed to genuinely forgive me, and we spent the rest of the night having a lot of fun, as though nothing happened (actually, he was really supportive and fully insisted on coming to the bar bathroom with me when I was throwing up — I know, not a good look — despite me telling him that I didn't want to bother him with my antics).

Despite this, I feel incredibly bad about my behaviour, and I feel like I cannot continue to act in such a self-destructive manner, not to mention risk putting a wedge between my friends and me. I can't stop obsessing about my behaviour and that my friend must hate me for how I was acting. I know that my depression and anxiety warp my perception of the events (for the worse), but I've decided that this was the last straw for me, and I need to stop drinking altogether so that I can get back to being the pleasant, generous, and kind person that my friends are used to.  

Do you guys think that I'm being too extreme and too self-critical?  Should I reach out to him to apologize again, or should I just let it fizzle since I already apologized?