Me and my partner had a really nice afternoon yesterday, we went shopping, cooked food and watch a movie cuddles up on the sofa. 

We go to up to bed. I tried to initiate sex but he wasn't interested. I got upset as he never initiates anymore and he tells me he just can't be bothered. I get more upset saying it has been three months he has been like this. 

I try to tell him how I feel. I tell him how I feel like he is pushing me away. Recently he gets annoyed with texting me, he spends more time watching videos on his phone, he told me a few times I have ruined his life. Last night he made fun of my weight. Then we started to argue and it got really bad!

He said to our dog so that I could hear "we would be better off without her". So, I said "whats that supposed to mean" he says "you know what it means". I asked him does he want me to kill myself. he replied "do what you want I don't care" 

I went down stairs and began cutting myself. I haven't cut in months but last night was all to much. 

If I had just let the night end when we went to bed I wouldn't of ruined my progress!

I am so annoyed at myself.