I left this sub for about a year now because I thought I could move on from letting my BPD traits define me. I was working hard to rebuild my connections with the people around me, my SO, and even let new people into my life. Now a year later, I found this new life of mine to be entirely made up, supported by versions of me that was never me, and isn’t real. The illusion is not holding up anymore, it is in shambles. Pretty sure everyone saw through it all, because I am finding myself alone again. Unsure of who I am again. Unsupported, unloved, struggling again. Lost again. Too scared to disappear, but too tired to fight.