Spent 4 years trying to reach my goal weight. Finally reached in a few weeks ago. Felt amazing. Just fell into an intense depressive episode. Haven't left bed in 4 days, all I've been doing is watching TV and eating and eating and eating. Went from 117lbs to 125 lbs. Feel absolutely disgusting and pathetic and fat and ugly. I cancelled all of my plans with people for the next month because i am ashamed of them seeing me like this. I wasted so much time and energy. I know all there is to do is get back up and keep pushing, but jesus I feel defeated.