Hi friends,

I (F22) have been suffering (yes, suffering) from GAD with OCD tendencies since the age of 6. I’m medicated for a mood disorder and I’m in therapy, but lately my anxiety has been affecting my sleep. It rarely has in the past, surprisingly. I jerk awake as I’m falling asleep. I’ve also been waking up with terrible panic attacks and barging into my parents’ room without even thinking and begging them for help. My anxiety convinces me that I’m dying. I have an extreme fear right now of suddenly dropping dead. Every little random sensation in my body, to me, is an indication that my time has come. I am a healthy person, so this would be really unlikely, but it’s consuming me right now. 

Has anyone else ever dealt with this? What did you do to cope? Right now to cope I’m drowning myself in TV, snacks, and seeing my amazing friends. I know that these behaviors are not helpful, but I feel completely stuck. The friends part is good, but even then, I’m still distracting from getting better. 

Even though I’m seeking help for these issues, I still feel lost. I welcome and appreciate all input. And FWIW I am a Catholic-turned-atheist which I can’t stand because I feel so scared to die since I firmly do not believe in the afterlife. I want to believe. 

Xoxo thanks all