I dont think I can keep going anymore. Every day is so monotonous, like there's no 'tomorrow' to look forward to, it's all just an endless loop. 

I try my hardest to put on a brave face. If you were to ask me how I'm doing, i'd say 'I'm okay'. But I'm not. It feels like I'm being torn apart every single day. I lose part of myself with each day. I don't even know who i am. I don't enjoy any of my interests anymore. Eating is a chore. Sleeping is a chore. Talking is a chore. Waking up is a chore. I feel nothing around the people I love. Why should I do anything when I know how worthless I am? It's not like I have any reason to be sad-I have a home, a family, friends, and there's always a warm meal waiting for me after school. Why do I have to be so ungrateful? Why can't I appreciate anything? It's so pathetic. My life is pathetic.
I'm a sorry excuse for a person, and my loved ones deserve better. My loved ones deserve the sweet little girl that would always chat their ears off, the one who looked forward to things. They deserve better than whatever I'm supposed to be. That's why I'm ending things here. They'll be over it in a week, maybe? Then they can keep living their lives without having to put up with me. It's better this way. I'll take a burden off their shoulders.
I'm so sorry to all my friends. You stuck by me no matter how pathetic I was, you never had mean words to say. I hate to leave you, but you all have eachother. You don't need me. You're better off without me. I'm sorry for being an awful friend.
I'm sorry to my mother. It isn't your fault at all, so please dont blame yourself. You've been here for me for 15 years. It's time I leave you alone. Sometimes though, I wish you'd been kinder to me. I wish you took me seriously when I told you I knew something was wrong. I wish you'd never called me fat. Maybe I wouldnt have an eating disorder. Maybe I'd be less of a burden. I'm sorry I made you deal with all my problems.
I'm sorry to my sister. I really hate to leave you. Nobody deserves to lose the younger sibling they helped raise. My whole life I've looked up to you. I wanted to be more like you. But I never will. You have your life together, I'm just a screw-up. I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry to my nephew. You're still just a baby, so you'll never remember me. I wish you got to meet me properly. I hope you grow into a strong, healthy young man. I hope you turn out better than me. Your auntie will always love you, no matter what. Even if she has to leave.

I think I rambled for long enough. It's better this way for everyone. I'm sorry for leaving. I'm sorry for making you read this. I'm sorry making for you feel bad for me. Goodbye.