I (F18) just got out of high school 2 weeks ago. I applied for community college but the advisor wanted me to schedule a meeting with her and I got so anxious I didn’t do it. So now its summer and I’m not registered to college and thinking about telling my asian mom just makes me want to throw up. 

I can’t even drive yet. No permit. Just thinking about driving makes my heart race out of my chest. We live in a small town so no other way to get to places if i don’t have my own car. 

I finally applied for jobs. I have no experience. There’s no service at our house so the companies are telling me to call them back instead. I got the courage to call back one of them but I didn’t prepare myself, and now looking back my tone sounded so unprofessional. I didn’t get a call back. 

I tried therapy last year but only went four times because my mom has a job and I have 0 friends who can take me. I don’t have any pills to help me. I tried to end it all last year and I’m so close to going through that phase again. I just really need help but I have no one. I know I need exposure but I have no one to guide me. I feel so alone and afraid. I wish I wasn’t like this