So long story short I used to be the guy in the room everyone assumed was happy. Cracking jokes, Having a laugh etc.

But I'm tired of putting on a mask I just want to breakdown and cry my eyes out all the time and nobody knows nor cares, I'm extremely lonely I just want to feel something inside again instead of sadness and hollowness.

I just needed to vent to someone, Something, Somewhere because I'm getting the intrusive thoughts to just end it all what's the point in living if your just existing.

I cannot find work nothing interests me it's all mundane and grindy, what's it all for? 

I need help and don't have the funds or friends to get it as to why I'm venting here.

If anybody else feels this way don't be afraid to speak up, I just don't have any friends that's why I've put it here.

Thank you for reading my venting I hope whomever is reading this is feeling better than me.

To be in the world alone is hell.