My girlfriend has BPD, is a perfectionist, feels down sometimes and can have episodes. I wonder how to deal with some situations for her, but also for me aswell.

Situation 1: I forget to answer her messages. This affects her a lot and sometimes it makes me feel like I am 14 years old again that me not responding until the evening can affect her this much. She does not think I am unfaithful, and I have never been. To me it feels very childish to be hurt by this and continue to be hurt by this after i explain her that I simply forgot or did not see she texted me. I try to always respond, but my mind forgets sometimes. Is there any chance she will be able to understand this or do I have to accept she will always take this personally?

Situstion 2: If something doesnt go as planned, and its possible to blame me, she will. I get very upset by this because if she would be to blame for something, for example if there is something wrong with the airplane tickets, I would never blame her and just look for a way to fix it, together. If it is the opposite she never tries to fix the situation we are in, she just blames me and keep talking about what we should have done. Which doesnt help at all in these situations. What should I do when she does this? It can really hurt for me and I get upset she acts this way to me.


Situation 3: My girlfriend struggles with depression and she can be very muted. Not saying much if I ask her a question etc. We are in a long distance relationship and honestly I have better things to do than talking for hours basically with myself. She doesnt want to watch anything, but she doesnt really talk much back to me. I want to be there for her, but over time these hours really feel wasted as it doesnt seem to lift her mood and our phone calls can be quite boring for both of us. 

Im sorry if I sound selfish. I try to do a lot for my partner, but some things builds up over time. I wonder if you can see yourself in my partner, and if so, how should I deal with it, not only for her, but for both of us.