Summary: I have BPD, PTSD, ADD and Heavy Depression. I just learned my diagnoses about 4 years ago a year after my bf and I started dating. 

My female roommate and I got in a huge fight about her judging me for my illness and my inability to hold a steady job (I did not owe her money and my bills were always paid. She just judged me harshly.) She called me a loser and cut off our friendship. I am not handling the abandonment of our friendship well and she has now become a trigger for me and is mean, I had a breakdown and my family took me to the ER, when I got home I couldn't bring myself to leave my room.

I'm moving in 2 weeks and working like mad to make money to help my boyfriend and myself move, I found a job that I can do for now and maintain, it was hard to find it, but I am glad that I did. I haven't been able to hold a steady job for the past 4 years, so working this new job is really difficult for me but I have to find a way to make it through and make money for my bf and I to be happy in a new place. Until then I've been living in my room, my hair is matted and depression has taken over. I only shower to go to work. We have plans to get me to a therapist asap. We have to find one we can afford. I can't wait to move, this home situation has gotten toxic. My roommate hates me a lot and we both blow up and scream whenever we interact. 


EDIT

I did not come here to be hurt and insulted. I came here for constructive, kind help because I'm REALLY trying to get better. I came here to talk to other BPD sufferers, not get ridiculed by those who know NOTHING about what it's like to live with mental illness, to know real struggle and pain. 

I'm done here. Thank you to those that were kind and offered your advice from a place of wanting to help me and not to hurt me. 

Read_Deep you should be ashamed of yourself, you're disgusting hurting a person that's struggling to stay afloat in this life. You said NOTHING constructive or kind and just spewed the worst bile you could. Do not EVER enter another one of my threads again, you disgust me. I have a mental ILLNESS you asshole and I'm trying to get HELP. 

Just so you fucking know I work, I have been working my ASS off making money so that my boyfriend and I can move. It is a new job that I got this month and I have been busting my ass so that I can get myself and my boyfriend out of this mess. He read your comment and said you're a fucking idiot. Enjoy that, because you are. 