I have BPD but I thought I didn’t have the fp side of it..but I’m now noticing a big pattern, opinions?? 

I had a best friend for 6 years(turns out she also has BPD). She was more than a best friend to me, but also not a lover yk, she was just my everything, like my world revolved around her. We took a break from each other sometime during the second year of our friendship and I was miserable. I felt like I didn’t know who I was without her. I instantly got a bf after this and tbh I don’t even know if I actually loved him, I definitely was obsessed with him ngl. When he broke up with me, I had to move houses because he was on my mind 24/7 like everything reminded me of him there, even when sometimes there wasn’t a reason it should have. I changed drastically right after that, I didn’t even notice. My best friend came back into my life when I moved and we basically had no other friends but each other because we didn’t see the need to if we had each other. I had bfs and gfs while being friends with her, but I didn’t exactly love them and I didn’t really care for them a whole lot(I know. Messed up, but this was also during high school, so I didn’t know that was wrong of me yk) but I think it’s because I had my best friend back, my world evolved around her, not them like I would have died for that girl. Then I stopped dating for a few years because I felt like there wasn’t any point to it anymore. Then we mutually ended our friendship. I got sober and she didn’t. I cried every day for 2 months straight. I lost her and also lost myself. I changed my whole personality for the most part and felt so lost. Then I met him. I was obsessed with him, I didn’t wanna live without him and I think for the first time I felt true, genuine deep love. We started dating and he was the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. Yeah no. He ended up just using me, cheating, abusing, and manipulating me. He wasn’t the same person I met. Even after I found out all these things, my feelings never changed towards him. Even though he put me through the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my whole life, I couldn’t let go of the feelings he made me feel when we first met. I put him on a pedestal, a high-ass one. Long story short, I found a love letter he wrote to his ex. I expressed how that made me feel and he lashed out, wouldn’t let me leave, and used all my childhood traumas against me. I haven’t seen him since. I tried texting and calling at first but it was clear I had to let them go. I’m so heartbroken and I still am. I still love that man so much. I’m definitely moving houses this month. I have to. Everything reminds me of him in here and it kills me. 
And that brings us to now. I feel like this is so embarrassing, but yeah, right after I decided to just let him go, I pretty much started going on dates with quite a lot of people and I think I found someone. I can’t take my mind off him like ever. We have started hanging out every day and texting constantly. He’s perfect in my eyes, like absolutely perfect. This is where I noticed a pattern. I don’t know how I didn’t notice it sooner. Is this normal? Is it my BPD? I don’t know what it is and I don’t think it’s healthy tbh.