I changed some details for anonymity. I work at a salon known for speed of services. I generally have a client every 15 minutes, with no gaps between except breaks or lunch.  They allow the client to be up to 10 minutes late, which then gives me 5 minutes to do the service. At least 2 clients a day are 10 minutes late, so that pushes me behind until my break or lunch, which I end up working through to catch up. A big anxiety trigger for me is running late. If I am not 10-15 minutes early, the anxiety starts to build. So consistently being behind, PLUS having to apologize to those who were on time, but now have to wait.... I get on the verge of an anxiety attack at times. Usually I can take a few deep breaths between clients and focus on prepping my station, and that will get me to calm down. Getting myself revved up like that though multiple times a day is now making me nervous to go to work at all. Especially when I know a consistently late, picky client will be on my book. 

I took this job because I wanted to rebuild my clientele after moving away from my previous salon, and after Covid hurt the beauty industry. The salon is corporate so I have no control over my bookings, and they will always take the client's side over their employees. I have been here for less than a year, but am feeling the same anxiety that I felt after being at my other salon for over 5 years. That salon had a huge turnover rate for managers, so the stress was due to something different, but my books and clients were amazing. I don't have the clientele to go to a booth rent salon, and I've applied to just about every commission or hourly salon in my area, just waiting to hear from any of them. I can't afford to not work, and frankly the tips at my current salon are really good. Probably because I now see double the amount of clients I did before. During covid I was on unemployment, but now that I'm working again, I can't voluntarily quit and just expect to go back on it. I WANT to work. I really want to get in at this one particular place, but I haven't heard from them, and I don't want to annoy the owners by calling every day. 

I guess I'm trying to figure out how to handle myself in the mean time. I know I can only control myself, and my reactions to people, but what if people's rude actions are the cause of anxiety? People are very particular about their beauty services, as they should be. It is their body, and their money. But I can't give them my best, let alone perfection, in such a limited amount of time. I know this salon is just not a good fit and I need to move. But until then, how do I go into work every day knowing I will be on the verge of anxiety attack for most of my shift?

Sorry for the length. I am in between therapists and needed to vent. Any advice is appreciated.