Idk how to start a post like this so I’m just gonna ramble 

I firmly believe I’m slow, no matter how many times I’m told that I’m not by everyone in my life I still believe it, nobody can disprove it to me, my beliefs that stem from the fact I actually have autism/adhd/dyslexia, my lack of acceptance by my peers and my severe anxiety. I’ve spent countless hours analyzing every single fucking thing about myself and I can pin point just about all autistic traits I have that should be noticeable, from my lack of/weird facial expressions, poor communications skills, way of carrying myself etc, it’s all fucked. I seriously can’t tell if what I’m experiencing is a slow person coming to terms with being slow/becoming self aware or if it’s a complete loss of reality on my end, i simply can’t tell which is the case, it’s fucked, and the worst thing is that there’s no way to actually prove if my beliefs are real or if it’s all just crippling anxiety. nobody’s gonna tell me if I’m slow or not, fuck I wouldn’t even be honest to someone about that if they asked me even though that’s the exact thing I want in return, so without any outside help I’m left with nothing I can do, I’m fucked and I need serious help 


P.s writing all this took more way time than it should’ve taken (that only proves my own point)