Just wanted to tell you that I got cured cause I got a friend who loved me unconditionally, was available and patiently showed me what a healthy dynamic is. I can't imagine being jealous for no reason or freaking out when someone doesn't outright reply to a message anymore. I don't even remember all the ways I was tortured now to say that I don't experience them anymore.   


Also I want to say that acting opposite to emotion and other ways of suppressing your totally adequate feelings considering your history are sadistic and don't work in the long run. BPD is a logical response to neglect and abandonment, not a disorder, and at the core it is concerned with your survival. Disorder is the fact that the things that gave it to you happened to you. When you suppress it you betray your desire to survive, betray yourself. The solution is not to act out however but to bring up the things that bother you with the people you trust. If they don't hear you out and try to help then they're not worthy of your trust.  


I guess that's all. I hope you'll have peace one day too