i honestly feel like im symptom free and havent hurt myself or done anything self destructive for months. 

i cut my hair. i started meds for my acne. i started running. im even drinking water instead of soda for the first time in my life!!

the last time i hurt myself was when he called me a bitch and since he's been gone, I haven't even had a single urge to hurt myself. i was hospitalized twice last year alone due to our conflicts.

ive been dating again and recognizing red flags and stopping things instead of ignoring them. ive been cautious of people who are overly clingy and needy due to my own codependency issues.

i miss him but i recognize that im doing so much better without him and our relationship was killing me. so as a reminder for anyone out there in a toxic relationship or who's recently lost their fp, sometimes things like this happen for the better. you cant truly recover when your support system is full of toxicity and abuse.