I’m just tired of being here. I’m tired of going through the same pattern of self-destruction and utter isolation. I’m tired of people not taking my feelings seriously. I’m tired of always being a fucking joke to people. Maybe if I just took myself out someone would actually see that what I am feeling is real for once. No one actually cares or wants to help me they just want to manipulate me and lie to me so I can stay here and be in pain. No one ever truly sticks around they always just turn their back on me and live their fucking care free lives while I suffer. I fucking hate this world and everyone in it. Mental health advocacy in general is a joke because once it comes to things like BPD no one actually gives a fuck. They just tell you that it’s your fault and you need to go to hospital instead of actually trying to be by your side or talk to you.