Ever since I graduated I haven’t enjoyed a single second of life. Everything is shit. I’m watching everyone who graduated with me accomplish their wildest dreams and I’m still stuck in the same fucking city that I have been in since I was 9 years old. I feel so frozen like I have no idea where to even go or what even the first step to take is. I’m so bitter and jealous of people who don’t even necessarily have a better life than me. I just always think every single person on this earth is better than me in some way. I have all the boxes checked for what is considered a “stable adult” but it’s not good enough for me. I’m so so so sick of being alive. I knew even when I was 14 that life was all downhill from here. Every single morning I get that dip in my stomach like something terrible has happened the night before and I remember it. Nothing has even happened. It’s just me realizing that I’m waking up to my own life again, and this hasn’t been one big nightmare like I was hoping. I tell myself every morning what I’m grateful for and no matter what I do nothing seems good enough for me to be happy. I’ve had enough. I’m over it. I wish I could go back but I can’t. I just want one day where I don’t end up sobbing. Please, just one.