I feel like I keep trying to get better and treat myself but even when I make progress I can’t really enjoy it because I know it’ll soon be over and I’ll get back to being the depressed isolated regular me 
It feels like each time I try to get better all the beliefs I learned about the world are right behind my back and I can’t delete them or ignore them 
And I feel tired of going through this each time it feels like a rollercoaster of feelings and I start to wonder if I’ll ever really succeed to get better or am I always going to feel so unstable