Well I ended a 2 year relationship last night.  It was abusive.  He verbally beat me down. He made my depression worse. 

Then I made a mistake of going on a backpage to meet friends.  He couldn't handle it. I didn't send nudes or anything.  Just said "beautiful " "that's hot that you like to watch ". Then I ended the conversation.  That was all it was. But he put me on blast on Facebook.  Everyone said for him to leave me. So he set his status to single.  

Then I changed my password and set mine to single too. Told him I was done. But then I get messaged about how it's all my fault we didn't work. More bullshit to make me hate myself worse.  

So I'm sitting here at work with nothing to do but sulk and think about how shitty he was to me. I'm glad I'm out. I'm ready to deal with the emotional issues.  I'm prepared for depression and missing him. But I have to remember that he didn't love me. You don't put down someone you love.  You don't tell them they'll never be what you want. And that you suck at life and living.  How your bpd is just a crutch when I fuck shit up.