I always helped my friends as much as I could and in return when I only ever wanted one small thing from my "best friend" - to get the courage to call to a psychiatrist's - I got a bunch of empty promisess. It's been months since I wanted to call there but all I got was "we'll call there next time we meet" and nothing else. I'm still afraid to get professional help alone and I've lost hope I will ever get any. I fucking hate my friends. There is noone left anymore on this rotten earth that I could hold dear and if I had the balls I'd just finally off myself.