I’ve been thinking about it recently and I realized there’s two types of negative feelings: active and passive. Active is things like anxiety, pain, fear, anger, annoyance. Passive is things like sadness, depression, boredom, and tiredness. 

After a whole year or more of experiencing passive negativity because of the covid lockdown, the last 2 months of active negativity have been 100x worse. 

I had a panic attack one day for no reason in the shower, and ever since that day I experience random pains and sensations in my head, chest, neck, and legs non stop.

I wish I could go back to just being sad I can’t see my friends. Now I feel like I’m always in danger and going to die. I can’t sleep properly anymore, I have to go walk around every 10 minutes to clear my head. It’s horrible. I wish I was just sad.