I always find myself acting emotionless or like a deadweight in my conversations whenever i try to make new friends. I just geniunely feel lost at how to make the conversation even more interesting. When i see others talk, they are always fooling around and cracking jokes all the time, and if I open my mouth to say anything, I get ignored most of the time. Sometimes, I also feel like im bringing everyone's mood down. I just dont understand how people are able to be enthusiastic in their conversation 24/7.

The reason why i need more friends is because I have only 1 friend now, and i feel like our friendship isnt good enough. She's real nice sometimes but i often feel so jealous of her because she seems to be giving her other friends even more attention than me and always able to have so many interesting and funny conversations with them and i find it so hard to participate in. Sometimes they have conversations with each other behind my backs too, so most of the time I feel left out for not knowing any hidden jokes or secrets that they have made. And when my only friend is talking to me, our conversation is all boring and serious and usually last for a really short time. 

Im just not a funny person and therefore not trustworthy and i blame my depression and possible autism for this for being a downer.

I know i should be grateful that i have at least one friend, but sometimes i keep having doubts about our friendship because she acts more interested in her other friends than me and i really cant help but feel jealous that she's not giving me the same attention. Im also afraid she might start getting distant with me and then leaving me with absolutely no one.