Fell asleep for two hours, woke up and can’t go back to sleep again.

Don’t think I’ll be able to any time soon.

Going through an episode triggered by something significant and trying my best to hold it together since the beginning of the month. I feel like I have been overcompensating everyday in the past couple of days and I hope I have been doing a good job at it, but I’m finally at my limit.

Can’t speak without feeling exhausted and on edge. Everyday or even every hour feels very very difficult to get through. Counting minutes. Seconds. I feel incredibly anxious and increasingly drained. Daylight feels white hot and it almost burns but it doesn’t bother me as much as it would have been. Things are deathly still and irrelevant as of now.

Nighttime is unbearable. Can’t sleep, need sleep. Anxious.

Took one more lamictal than usual dose and actually really helped. I need to talk to my psychiatrist and soon. It feels like I need to hike up the dosage.