Lol I feel like I have the choice to kill myself or change myself like change his I look by piercing my face dying my hair and start bodybuilding again but I also just wanna die bc I feel like I have nothing to live for and I hate who I am and how I look his also would be my 3rd attempt and I really dont wanna end up in a psych ward and ruin my relationships again I'm 14btw and that would make it my 4th time of I dont die but I do have goals so why the fuck do I wanna die in just stupid ig life is just null  and void at this point