The constant feeling of being on-edge pushes me to seek relief in ways that are destroying my soul. Trapped in the vicious cycle of feeling anxious, seeking relief in alcohol/drugs/sex then facing the guilt and shame that comes with that. 

It's so scary not knowing what my next impulsive behaviour is going to be. It's like there's a monster inside of me that's just waiting to jump out. I'm so tired of battling myself, I am exhausted.