I’ve been splitting on my partner recently and it feels like I can’t trust my brain or emotions at all. We’ve been together for a year and all of a sudden I’m questioning her love for me just because we haven’t been seeing each other as much. She’s been wanting more alone time and I completely understand that, but I’ve been missing her a lot and we had an argument yesterday about it and it just feels like she doesn’t care that I miss her. I split on her and brought up nearly every thing she’s done wrong and how it made me feel, as if i was making her out to be some villain. Then, last night, i misinterpreted something she said as her believing it’s “wrong to make your partner happy,” which really confused me and it upset me a shit ton in the context of what the argument was about (it felt like she wasn’t doing enough to make sure i was happy, since i missed her and she wasn’t making an effort to see me at least a little bit). I freaked out, kept telling her to “get out”, saying “what have i gotten myself into?” because i genuinely believed she didn’t understand why you should do things to make your partner happy. Such a stupid thing to believe and it horrifies me that i interpreted it like that. I make her out to be the villain, but in truth it is me being the villain and I’m afraid to evolving into a toxic partner. I’m very scared. She got upset at me being mad and doesn’t wanna talk about it, i was apologizing this morning and trying to explain more but she just didn’t wanna think about it. She just took it and I wish she would be getting more mad at me about it because it was not okay by any means.

For reference i just decreased the dose of my antidepressant so that definitely had an effect on my mood.