I’ve been struggling for a while now, mainly with bad feelings associated with the sexual abuse I went through. I saw my therapist the other day, and I almost feel like she was being dismissive of my concerns. She said to me, “don’t I think *insert my abuser’s name* deserves to move on and have a good life?” And it really made me feel horrible. I was also talking to her about how my best friend was getting on my nerves because she was constantly dismissing and invalidating what I was going through because of her own issues that she was going through.

To that, my therapist responded that she thought what I was feeling was due to my borderline. Like... no shit?? I felt so invalidated. And this sucks because I’ve been seeing this therapist for three years and up until that session on Tuesday, she has helped me so much.

Fast forward to today. I woke up feeling terrible. So I thought I would take a social media break for the day and see if that would help. Normally my best friend and I text every day. I had messaged her something last night at around 7. She messaged me around noon today something completely unrelated. I didn’t reply and she hasn’t reached out at all since and I saw she’s been active on other social media. I hate that my whole mood is dependent on whether or not she’s texting me. We haven’t been getting along for a little bit anyway because we both suffer from chronic health issues but whenever I say something about what I’m going through she immediately one ups it with what she’s going through.

Overall I can just feel myself spiraling. I feel completely awful.