so i been stuguling w drepression my entire life, the first time that i wanted to kill myself i was 12 now i'm 25. i'm trans non binary and live through constant misgender even my "friends" and family don't respect that, dysphoria is getting really bad. i'm been fat my entire life (sufferd a lot of bullying bc of it) i don't have any self-esteem. i disassociate reality since a very young age (7/8) my dad is an abusive and violent piece of shit (not in contact since i was 18) my mom never could take care of me as she should, she has a lot of shit going on, tho she is the only reason that i'm still here. when i was 13 i saw a video of animal abuse (dark shit, never recovered from that) and became a vegetarian and too conscious of how fucked up the world is (that came w the pass of time as well).

i'm in parasite mode, i'm unemployed and i get anxiety attacks when i live the house (i live in a city in a third world country) where things are very very bad i don't know what to do to help my mom who is the only person that is supporing me. i feel like a total failure, all my classmates going to college, graduating or working. i even thought of doing nsfw content but i disgust myself. the only thing that i'm proud of is that i'm bilingual, english is not my native language and i wrote this w my bare two hands, so i guess that's something.

thanks 4 reading.