I did something that I feel guilty about (nothing illegal, I just lied to someone about something because the truth would make me look like an irresponsible idiot) so I was in a downward anxiety spiral today and my support system, who is my amazing partner is out of town. I really don’t have many friends. He usually lifts me up when I’m feeling down and feeling like I have to puke because of anxiety. I couldn’t take it anymore…so I took one of my old pain meds I had from a root canal a few months back just to numb out. I feel like such an idiot and I wish that I could be a normal person that isn’t a total failure moron :( sorry to dump my feelings on folks, really sorry…idk why I wrote this I guess I just wanted to tell the people who would understand the most :(