Maybe this is just my selfish desire for people to come to me instead of me coming to them, but i dont really care. 

How is it not noticeable? When I go to class everyday, do I look perfectly fine? sure, sometimes i press that fake smile and other bs, but a majority of the time i look like shit. The dark circles under my eyes has been noticed by my therapist somehow. and I meet with her online. 

Do the people in my life not see it? am i that unnoticeable? Do I really sound fine or do they not care enough to point it out? Do they think its a phase? I've been this way for over a year. Maybe they've just grown tired. 

And maybe its selfish of me to want them to say something without me bringing it up. Maybe its selfish that I just want my friends to check up on me like i used to do for them. Now i dont even have the energy to think about anyone else. I dont have the energy for most things. 

I know you cant read much through texting, but really? The amount of times ive been upset or clearly unhappy, and nothing? whenever my friends feel that way, I usually, at the very least ask them if theyre alright and would like to talk. So, why do i feel like no one really wants to do that for me? or is it really just not noticeable?  its selfish, and I dont know how to bring up my emotions, but it still hurts that for somereason im "great" at mood detecting for others, but they cant seem to do the same for me.