Hey everyone.

I'm not sure if the is the right place to go, but I have to start somewhere. If there is a better group to ask this question, please direct me. 

I dont know much about BPD, I only recently learned about it, and have done some research. I thought it would be best to ask people who actually have it, rather than let some article describe it. 

My ex bf, late 20s, has undiagnosed BPD (classic symptoms and won't seek therapy or other support). I used to think he struggled with depression. He has experienced childhood trauma as well. 

For all but the last month of our relationship, he didn't have any symptoms or anything. We had a great relationship and were planning on marrying and having a family. In the last month he began changing rapidly and developed what I now know are BPD symptoms.

He broke up with me suddenly and without warning or explanation. He began drinking severely and even driving drunk, self harming, engaging in very dangerous behaviors, not eating, hanging out with toxic people who are using him, lying constantly, and became mean to me when he would invite me to hang out. 

It was all chaotic and it broke me. After 4 months I cut contact in order to protect myself from more hurt and emotional abuse. I have never seen anyone change so drastically in 4-5 months. He is a completely different person and I dont know what happened. He went from being the man of my dreams to an alcoholic who scares me at times. 

So here's my questions

Is BPD something that can appear out of nowhere as an adult? 

Does it come in episodes or phases, and then go away, or is it a constant? 

Is it an illness that can go away permanently? If so, can it go away without therapy or medication?

Can BPD make you go from loving someone to hating them overnight? 

Is there anything I should know about BPD that applies to my situation? 

I hope these are all appropriate questions. Like I said, I don't understand or know much about the illness other than what I've read online and seen in my ex. I still love him and want a future with him, but I dont know if the BPD will continue to affect him like it has. Im going through a lot right now and I just want to understand more about what's been happening.