Movies, tv shows, music, sports even. Do you just keep deluding yourself that you could be there too? I can't watch a movie without wanting to pretend to be in too. Like, I watched amazing spiderman today and I'm convinced I could be a better Gwen. I wanted to be her and have Peter look at me like that... like, I went out of my way to research spiderman characters to see which one I could have played in the movie and I freaking acted it, talking to fucking air as if it was Peter/Gwen that I was talking to. Creating damn scripts out of my ass. I do this with everything and I can enjoy a damn thing anymore.

Do you guys get it? I'm lonely, I don't have a fp nor romantic interests. Barely any friends. Undiagnosed but certain unfortunately...