I grew up in an atmosphere where, family was everything. Holidays and Sunday dinners were the time for us all to be together. But, over the years the, elder folks died off and that tradition fell by the wayside. I always believed that, I could carry on that tradition with my own children but, that never worked out because we ended up moving far south and the last of our children recently moved back up north. The last ten years, the magic has gone out of holidays for me. It's not fun anymore. I used to get so excited for them but, now I feel as if I'm on the outside looking in. Muddling thru as it were. True, there are some wonderful memories I hold onto but, I wasn't done making more. I love my children and, that will never change. But, I am a selfish man. I want them with me. I want to have them in my home when, I cook for the holidays. I know they did what they had to for the sake of living their own lives but, it makes me very sad to know that, those I have so many memories about have gone and, the holidays are just DAYS. Nothing special or magical anymore. Not looking forward to them this year. Not one bit. Looking back @ memories. Muddling thru. I'm tired. I want the magic back.