*im diagnosed with everything this isn’t self diagnosing*
I’m 23 and I’ve suffered from severe ADHD (diagnosed major depression disorder as symptom as well)  through my childhood until now and I hate to put the blame for how my life turned out on it but I need to address the problem and this is the start.

Brain Fog has been a bitch to me ever since I decided to not go to college out of highschool and work. I’ve been working the same job for 5 years and because of the dissociative amnesia from the stress of being a failure I can never sit down and try and research a career switch or schooling because it gets so overwhelming since there’s so much information and possibilities that it makes my head go into suicide mode bc my brain just automatically tears down any self worth I try and muster up  so I end up putting it off and hyper focusing on something else then boom a week goes by and then I try again and then boom it happens again and a week goes by and then it’s 5 years. I want to let you know that I am some what strong! I try very hard to not push things away but this dread when I try and do something with my life the anxiety… it’s the scariest thing ever it’s so bad I would literally rather live like how I am than face it, it’s taken me years to even write this post but I’m focusing now so bare with me as I rant on.

There’s also the money factor since I don’t really want to go to university but to a tech bootcamp for something like ux/ui design and that’s also expensive so it just is too overwhelming and the only way to feel some sort of calmness it to avoid/forget about it. So as the title asks, what type of support is there? Not just finically I just literally don’t know where to start with correcting my life and I don’t really want to die I just want to be normal and happy.

I’ve also developed a very serious shopping/spending addiction along with a gaming addiction. Whenever I’m alone with my thoughts or just relaxing I’ll immediately think of all the worst possible things I’ve done and instead of facing it on head on which I can’t really because my mind just goes blank when I try to fix them, I try and cope with any sort of dopamine I can get and that’s usually from gaming/shopping.

I just want to live man I’m literally so in my head I can’t think
Edit: I’m not currently going through a depressive/suicidal episode. I just really think I need some type of life counseling or something 
:) located in Toronto Ontario if that helps with pointing me to resources