Well, I've been out of work on FMLA since late September for a suicide attempt. I was going to go back to work tonight (Monday) but my anxiety had been growing all day and by the time I needed to get ready, my panic attack started and I threw up all over and my body feels like it was hit by a train. 
I am so scared of going back. I am absolutely fucking terrified. I'm terrified I'm going to be fired, or reprimanded. The workload is ridiculous. The pressure is ridiculous. I'm scared everyone hates me. My boss hates me. No one will take me seriously. I haven't turned on my work phone for fear that I'm going to see something that will make it harder to go back. 
I delayed going back until Halloween. I have to try and work through this. DBT skills aren't covering this right now. 
I don't know what to do, any advice will be very welcome.