I've been given endless support and resources but it seems like nothing sticks. I do really well for a while and then, inevitably, I slip into my old ways. I become gloomy and unlikable. I neglect chores, shut out loved ones, and fail classes. No amount of therapy and medication has been able to break the pattern. I know if I really *tried* I could break this pattern, but I'm lazy and selfish and my brain is stupid and broken so I can never bring myself to try. Sometimes I think that maybe this is all I will ever be, and I will never be able to do better than I already have. Maybe I was just born with a defective brain, and there's nothing I can do about it. My mom has so much faith in me, supports me so much, and it's all going to waste. I wish she would just realize that I'm a lost cause and give up on me already. I hope she realizes how much of a burden and leech I am and kicks me out. I don't deserve any of her kindness.