Last night I went off on my boyfriend for, more or less, having friends. I told him I wished that his friends were dead or at least never existed, because he sometimes skypes and plays games with them and not me. I was talking about killing myself because I can't stand not being the center of his world anymore (he made these good friends recently, it used to just be me and him for the most part). Whenever he's with them I feel like he's going to leave me because they are soooo much more fun than I am and they don't throw fits like I do.

He was calm about it and very understanding, he didn't get mad at all and he's not mad today either. I feel soooo so bad about all the things I said last night and I don't feel like I deserve him at all I'm such a terrible person but he still loves me and I just :'((((

I took the day to rest and watch movies and read and I feel much better, but I still feel really bad about what I said. And I can't find it in me to take it back because I still don't like them because they take his attention jhsajkfhuuga 