I (16F) was enrolled for an ACT test prep course (five hours per week after school on Thursdays) and found out after spending the $150 that most colleges (including my dream colleges) don’t even use ACT test scores anymore.

Tomorrow, a SATURDAY, I’m required to go take a practice test for seven hours instead of spend precious time winding down to mentally prepare for the next week of work. I’ve been at school everyday this week for at least 9 hours, the most being 14 hours.

We have more assignments because finals are next week and I’m struggling trying to study for everything.

I’ve been getting pulled through the wringer over and over these past few weeks and my doctor and I agreed that I’ve officially reached a point of burn out.

I don’t have the mental capacity to do ANYTHING without breaking down crying or ripping the paper to shreds. I’m an honors student so I have to keep my grades in top shape to keep myself able to get into college.

My mom keeps telling me they paid for it so I have to go tomorrow, and I’ve told her multiple times I’m going to push my way through it and that I want to stop talking about it since it’ll make my anxiety worse.

I took a nap to slow my heart rate (it was resting at 100-120 because of the anxiety attack) for five and a half hours.

She just came in my room and spoke about AGAIN. I asked not to talk about it once more, she kept pushing.

I finally snapped and said “the SECOND I finish this thing tomorrow, I don’t wanna talk about this test EVER again.”

I love my mother but she doesn’t understand my boundaries. She’s probably complaining to my dad at this very moment that I disrespected her.

I’ve lost all control. I’m not able to hold my tears in anymore. I’m not able to stop myself from smacking myself in the head for relief, or punching myself in the gut to try and stop being so pathetic.