My mental health is so fucked up. My brain is so fucked up. I take a lot of meds that have a lot of side effects that make me even more of a vegetable than I already am. I can't physically do what I want to do; I don't even know what I want to do. I can't even do basic tasks like washing my teeth, caring for myself, cleaning my room, taking a shower... How am I supposed to progress in life? How can I study, accomplish something, anything, how can I work, how can I take care of others if I can't even take care of myself? How, and why, does anyone expect me to do any of these things?

People always say that things will get better, but they aren't, they aren't getting any better, they never have in all these years, and I have no reason to believe that they will in the future.
I just helplessly watch the days pass by, and I can't do anything to stop them. But I just want them to stop, I just want things to stop. 

And the worst thing? I feel SO guilty. There are wars, there are problems far worse than mine, and yet people still find the will to live. I just feel like this is all my fault, that I'm a lazy, spoiled and ungrateful person that has all the means to do something but simply won't.

Just a rant, because I know and hope many of you can understand, while people around me don't and think I'm exaggerating and faking it (and sometimes I think it too).