I have nobody to talk to so I guess I’ll just rant one here… I really feel like I’ve failed myself and everyone. Everyone has this false perception of me being this “emotionally stable” “therapeutic” and “optimistic” person but I’m not… I only seem that way because that’s how I want others to see me; I seek validation from others in a sense… but it hurts because I never truly can express how I feel it would be “out of character” for me to do so… It sucks because there’s so much going on in my life as of now such as family issues, financial issues, built up trauma, and so much more. I literally cannot take it anymore and to top it all off I’m a senior in high school now and my parents expect so much of me… It hurts to know that I literally have ruined myself for the past few years…. It hurts to know that I’ve isolated myself for so long that I’ve literally become a hermit… it hurts seeing others achieving what I so desired to achieve but couldn’t do so because of my conscious. I’ve let my parents down as well as so many others and lead on them with false optimism… most importantly I’ve let myself down the most. I have no purpose in life now besides dedicating myself to my ambitions, but even that passion is slowly staring to fade. I don’t want to do it anymore… I can’t… if only I could have been stronger. It’s my fault I turned out like this in the end. Maybe it’s time.