
I wish I knew how to cope with this, and no matter what my family, friends, or therapists tell me, I always end up going back to square one and feeling like it’s now the end of the world.  Something work related recently happened and I am trying to convince myself that this will pass, but I’m afraid it’s going to be a really long process.  Part of me legit just wants to disappear, I don’t know if I want to die, but I have been wondering what if.  I’ve been getting more panic attacks than ever, I don’t trust the process, even though I know I did not do anything that would destroy my livelihood.  My mind keeps convincing me to thing that I did something extremely terrible, even though I do not recall anything specific at work that would get me in extreme trouble.  I am trying to take things one day at a time, but it’s difficult.