My parents say I have been anxious ever since I was born, but it’s started mounting in intensity. I’ve been on different meds, Zoloft cut down on the anxiety but made me hopelessly depressed, I felt suicidal and became self defeatist. Now that I’m off an SSRI and only a mood stabilizer the anxiety has been gripping me tightly, the only ways I can cope are by expressing it with hatred or by crying and having a breakdown. The hatred takes me over and I become overly rash, but the feeling of hopelessness leaves.

I’ve tried to make connections online but only one still stands. My personality is usually pretty dull but people say I’m witty and funny, but when I feel the anxiety begin to grip me I become horrified and try to leave, even attack them. They say I’m bipolar, maybe so. I just keep sabotaging everything. I tried to cope with video games but ended up playing way too much, and I ended up hurting both my arms. I’m failing school and can no longer function, I am constantly on the edge of a breakdown, and my arms are beginning to worry me.

My last online friend doesn’t really understand my problems and is pretty apathetic, but he tolerates me...

I would ask for support but i feet that I would just end up becoming a thorn in your side.

If anyone can relate I would appreciate it, I don’t want to become a tragedy