So, me and 3 others were part of an online group. We’ve been chatting for quite some time and all got along well. Both text and voice chat. Two days ago I was venting about my eating habits and how bad I felt. Friend A was being nice and suggesting that I might struggle with disordered eating. However I misinterpreted that as them pointing out I had an eating disorder. I mentally shutdown and became upset. They were being nice to understand me and even took down the comment when I told them about it. But I went a step further. I ranted about them indirectly on a chat room we both use. Then they saw and blocked me. I had made a post on about breaking down and talked about killing myself as I genuinely felt horrible. And then they called me a suicide baiter. 

So with all that I spiraled out of control. I knew I had to make amends somehow. I sent an apology note to Friend B and C to pass along to A since I was blocked. Friend B, despite being in a bad place, said they’d let them know and I am sure they would. Friend C essentially told me to suck it up. I had checked the public chat earlier and saw Friend A and B getting along. I felt I didn’t belong anymore and set my account for deletion.

One of my other closest friends felt very sad seeing me like this and stayed with me on the phone. If I killed myself they would devastated as they need me rn, but I ruined my whole friend group and suicide is on my mind