i don’t feel like there’s any saturation or vibrancy in life anymore, feels like there hasn’t been since i was 16 when i hit my first major depressive episode. i was diagnosed n on medication for depression n anxiety before then but that was my first actual episode where i stopped going to school n was gonna kill myself but since then it doesn’t feel the same as before. i don’t act the same as before in front of new ppl or friends, like i “lost my charm” so to speak. i’m so quiet n im constantly hyper aware around ppl, always making sure i don’t make myself look bad that’s prob why i only ever hang w/ ppl once every 3-6 months but i just don’t wanna feel like this, any advice would be cool :)