No words can explain how much it hurts to be treated like shit by someone, who in theory should be the one loving you the most and unconditionally. I'm tired of being pushed around, getting shouted at for no reason other than to be someone's punching bag. Being called all the insults in the book and getting kicked when I'm at my worst not being able to do anything but cry. My father, despite some people's opinions, does not love me. He created a list of certain things I should be, the way I should act and if it doesn't match up I'm noting to him. I'm not even sure if I'd be anything to him even if I completed all of his requirements. I don't think so. I'm always doing something wrong. I'm never enough. And I got told by him there's not a single person who'd stay with me for who I am. I just feel so worthless, even if i try to block out what he's saying, it doesn't work. I feel hopeless. I feel like I will never be enough and it would be easier not to be at all. I don't see a clear way out. I feel so useless. Not worthy of being treated right. I just feel so heavy and like I just got beaten with a hammer right in the head. Everything leads nowhere.