I've noticed it is very difficult for me to relax and have fun because I immediately think I am using the time poorly. I see myself as low status, but I also see life as a war. If you take a break during war, your enemies win. So I guess I have a hard time understanding why a break would ever be good.

Perhaps its that whatever the break is isn't being used wisely? Or that because I am not working enough already that it is a poor use of time since it uses no benefit. 

From a place of high status I guess you'd have the opinion of "if I ever wanted to win I could just try and I would" but as someone low status/low confidence all I can think of is "i'm already behind I need to work, and if I'm ahead and I stop working everyone will catch up." Fear.

Does everyone have this or what?