Physically and mentally. Physically I’m just tired and sick all the time. I’ve had a migraine for three days now, my body is so sore all the time. I stretch and move but my whole being is just a mass of constant pain. I get extremely nauseous after every meal to the point where I sweat from holding back throwing up. I have nightmares every night and haven’t slept well in weeks. I lose so much hair I started crying trying to get it all off of me. 

Mentally I’m just either sad or numb. When I get too sad I try to zone out until the feeling is gone. I’m scared to feel my emotions too much because I think they’ll kill me so I suppress them. I feign hope and positivity hoping it’ll be real one day. I feel like I’m going to die soon.