Long story short I lost my job and I have a misdemeanor on my record so it's really hard for me to pass a background check. Before I was medicated I got in a bad bar fight and now I have assault on my record. This event was the catalyst for me getting on meds and everything so I like to think I've changed since then. I am working gig jobs to pay the bills and while that is not to bad, I am not really making any money and I feel like a failure. I just feel like a loser all the time since I don't have any kind of good pay or career. I also have tons of student loan debt and I'm watching many people I know who  don't even have a degree make over 100k a year and have rewarding careers. I can't even afford to go see the therapist I was seeing before covid since I got laid off. I am considering trying to do some certifications and do some more schooling since I can't get a job anyway but honestly I am finding it very hard to stay motivated. I don't have any family or friends to talk to about any of this and no one seems to understand or be interested anyway. I also struggle constantly with mood swings and severe depression. I never really fixed any of my underlying issues when I got on meds, even though the meds drastically changed my life. I still just feel like my life is pointless and no one cares about me, which is largely true. I'm not in my 20s anymore so I just feel like time is running out for me to make something of my life. Both of my parents are complete failures in my eyes and I don't want to end up like them but I'm not sure what I can do at this point.