I’m helping my mom get out of an emotionally abusive relationship with a covert narcissist. So I’ve been doing a lot of research/watching videos on covert narcissism. I’ve learned that a lot of narcissists are the first to accuse other people of being narcs.

I’m having obsessive thoughts where I convince myself im a narcissist and then have to read a bunch of articles to prove to myself that im not. Then I’ll change my mind and go through this process repeatedly. I always feel like I can sense narcs in my life - is that a super narc thing to say?!


I know bpd and npd have some overlap. I was in a very toxic relationship with someone I devalued and discarded. The relationship was toxic on both ends. I remember at various points thinking I was better than them and used manipulation to get my way. I felt that they deserved it because they did some horrible things to me. So I felt like they always owed me. We were both manipulative to each other, from what I remember. 

I always felt special when I was young. I thought I was beautiful but I also felt insecure. I’ve always felt under appreciated. People always used to tell me that I could never be wrong, but I truly felt that I never shared anything unless I knew I was right.

These things seem totally narcissistic to me. But at the same time, I am extremely empathetic and emotional in a non-presentational way. I don’t like myself and think I’m bad at almost everything. I am a caregiver and expect to have a career helping people in some way. I don’t like drama or other people feeling bad. I want to be (and currently am) in a stable relationship with no conflict. I do not get joy from bringing people down. But aren’t these just things a narc would tell themself anyway? 

I’m just sick of these cycles of convincing myself. Wondering if anyone else does this too? Or has any insight.