So like I'm wayy more aware of my bpd stuff than a lot of other aspects of my mental health bc it's the thing that's demonized the most bu other people. I'm obviously not always great or even nice all the time especially in a episode but I've just found that isolating myself until I feel better is the easiest way out and it gives me time to reflect upon any potential over reactions, I just know I can't control my emotions and idk how to make progress beyond this point anymore. Bpd is exhausting and slowly killing my years long relationship which idek if I'm upset about bc I have valid reasons for letting it go as well as putting in effort to keep it going. Idk I just wish I could remove this one part of me and I could deal with all my other problems much easier. I'm hurtful sometimes but especiallh online I'm more conscious of myself and I don't want to let my explosive emotions always win