Every night 3-4am musings.

So many bad choices made over the last 3 years. It hurts so much i dont know how to comeback from this. Feel like just dropping out of everything and starve at home.

Changing university offer to spite my asshole parents ( bite me back in da ass)

Not doing anything worthwhile during covid period ( wasted year 19-21 of my life just like that)

Wasted all my NS savings on shitty small purchases in 1 year ( 10k became 3k) now cannot go for exchange or pay my bills.

Basically i fucked up my life starting of december 2019 and 3 years just gone by like a flash. Really really regret all my decisions. And while it is easy to blame my parents ,because yeah they were abusive dicks throughout my life im just realising, it is still my life that is getting ruined. Still my responsibility to fix this mess. But i cant. I dont have the strength. 

Brain in permanent rotting state. Cant memorise or understand anything. What a fall huh, from being smart to becoming this weak pathetic human who cant even do basic human interaction.

Good night singapore, hope yall having a better life than me. Peace.