So I was on olanzapine for about 6-9 months-ish (time is fake and I can't remember). And it made me hungry and made me gain so much weight. I was changed over to risperidone which of course can do the same thing. But I started losing weight cause I was less hungry and started forgetting meals again cause of ADHD. 

And then when someone commented on my weight loss it flicked a really bad switch in my brain. I didn't want to regain that weight so I stopped eating more than 1 meal a day and it got progressively worse and now there's some days where I don't eat anything but cherry tomatoes and I chew nicotine gum just to make me not hungry. I told my therapist who was dumb enough to tell me I don't have any problem. But my doctor is actually worried it could turn into a full blown eating disorder (I don't meet the criteria just yet but I'm getting worse). And I'm scared. I've never had anything like this happen before and I've never hated my body this much.

Is there anyone here who's ever struggled with an ED while on APs? Or caused by APs, even. I wanna know how to get out of this rut but no one I've talked to has any advice. And apart from the eating, risperidone has been perfect for me so I don't wanna change just cause of weight. I'd also just like a listening ear cause this is bloody terrifying.