Some days I feel absolutely hopeless. Like the whole world is closing in on me and I don't feel happiness inside myself. Like there is no point on going on living. 

I try to be myself around people but I experience social anxiety and find it very draining to be around groups. I never know what to say in conversation and I'm never anyone's favourite friend. I would love to be the person that someone in my work group gets attached to and develop a close bond. Sometimes my anxiety feels like it swallows my very being.

To make it clear, I understand a lot of what I'm writing is negative and that a negative mindset won't help but it is hard when you feel like people constantly overlook/forget about you. I am a performer (vocalist working in shows at hotels) and all of my group are so natural at conversation and banter. I meditate semi regularly and try to reinforce positive messages to myself but it regularly becomes stressful for me. Any suggestions?