I just unfriended my FP and blocked her on iPhone and all of a sudden. I feel relief from emotional pain and anxiety. 

She understood I had BPD and we were friends for almost a year. Unfortunately she eventually became my fp just a couple of months ago and I started experiencing a lot of anxiety and emotional pain for months on end. So I wanted to just cut her off for good.

Ever since then. I have felt much relief in my pain and I feel close to normal. A part of me feels bad for this decision. But I have done what is best for me emotionally.

Even though I hate having to make such drastic decisions like this just to soothe my emotions. It’s sucks that I only retain happiness by cutting off people that I am close with just to maintain emotional regulation. I’ve cut so many good friends over this. It’s like I’m feeding live bodies to a monster just to prevent it from going out of control.