what still hurts, what happened that still hurts, wasn’t recent. What you said that still is so sore, like a bad bruise deep under the skin, it should have faded a long time ago, gone by now right?

instead, the ache is just as strong as it always was. No faded bruises, no physical sign of what happened and still hurts so bad. And instead, I want to forget that hurt, and I escape, and now I look down at these weird bruises I have,

big fingertip shaped blue marks on both thighs, looks like from a hard grab from behind me, so dark not faded at all. and the black and blue on my back, my legs, all over, something happened while I was trying to forget about those painful spots from you from a while ago, the ones that don’t have bruises. the painful ones don’t have any real marks on my skin, but because they hurt so bad, I’m finding today the physical results of bruises that happened from whatever I was doing to try and forget that pain from before.

These black and blue ones I’m finding today, they don’t hurt at all compared to what happened with you.