1. Make connection with newish friend and get extremely excited. Think about all the fun you are going to have with your NEW BEST FRIEND who is the BEST person you've ever met and understands you to your absolute core! Have only talked to them a handful of times for ten minutes about the new Ghostbusters movie or your new haircut? SERENDIPITOUS AND FATEFUL BUDDING BEST FRIENDSHIP YOU JUST FEEL IT.

2. Reach out to new soul mate via social media. Try REALLY hard to be funny and cool! 

3. seen 12:43 p.m. ✓

4. Question every single interaction you've had with any human being ever even going back to preschool. Wonder if you will ever have friends. Make a list of resolutions about becoming more likeable that include losing 20 pounds, learning a new instrument, or losing 30 pounds.

5. Friend texted back and can hang out next week! Write back and try ever HARDER to be likable, we can't have them know we just freaked out for over an hour and lost complete track of time ignoring all other responsibilities and priorities of the day!

6. Ruminate and dread hanging out like it's the plague, consider canceling every waking second up until the moment you see them. 

7. Have an actual good time with new friend and wonder why the hell you'd want to cancel this is your NEW SOUL MATE HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT. Repeat steps 1-7 until the sweet release of death.