22, Male, Korean who went to a military service a little bit late compared to others - Sorry if my English is a bit janky.

Diagnosed with ADHD with a depression during my Bootcamp days.


Okay, so since my teenage years I have developed a severe rejection sensitivity and a panic attack. Whenever I hear any sort of complaints and minor criticism, I immediately start spiraling into an abyss of self-loathing, apologizing mantras and remiscining about my past traumas, and turn into a crying mess.

I have been contacting school counselors - yet nothing has improved, So I have been thinking there was no way out of this miserable loop of life - Until I got diagnosed with Adult ADHD, realizing I have been suffering from an undiagnosed disease.

Ever since that, I have been searching for ways to prevent my life from being miserable. Medications, Religion, professional theraphy, and personal meditation training.

Nothing has worked. in fact, it has probably gotten worse.

Recent panic attacks got me suicidal a couple times, and that shocked the entire squad. And last night, I tried to meditate by having a deep breath, but I spectacularly failed and even passed out for a minute.

Is there any hope left for me?