Everyday it feels like I’m drifting away from my own sanity as if i’m just dying slowly, the old me the me who wasn’t depressed the me who wasn’t scared of “easy tasks” I miss him. It feels as if I’ve replaced the life that was once in this body. One moment I was standing on the top of the world the next im getting dragged down and beaten up by my own self. Funny how I used to laugh at the saying “I’m my own enemy” but now it’s truer than ever. I’ve failed my classes and stopped attending school in which i so badly want to go to but it feels as if my strength to handle stuff has just withered away. 

I’ve gotten the help the therapy, psychiatrist, and i’ve been told I have depression yet I refuse to believe it, I always ask myself how could have this happened. I look back and back but I don’t see how or why. 

I’ve changed my diet and began working out and as soon as I thought i’m getting somewhere I wake up and it’s a treadmill. I’m in the same place just doing different things. 

Only thing left now is Meds in which i’ve refused because i always thought that if i take them that means i couldn’t handle it myself. I guess it’s time now to accept it.

I hope to be myself again or the one who owned this body before me returns. 

Thanks for reading if you did just needed to speak my mind out. I hope to wake up from this bad dream or hope to sleep again into the good dream i was having.