I don't have anybody to talk to about how I feel right now. I'm 35 and I live with my parents but they are emotionally unavailable and unwilling to change that aspect of our relationship. It hurts to tell them that I feel bad or that there is a lot going on that is wrong with me and instead of talking with me about how I feel they just walk away.

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I have had a lot of trouble over the years with relationships and sex. My love life is filled with bread crumbs and ghosts. I feel so alone and unlovable. Its hard to go a week without seeing my therapist. Medication and being aware of my thoughts don't do much to change the way society works. I'm not sure if therapy can actually help me considering that my problem is sociological not completely psychological. 

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I don't want to hurt myself but I don't really want to live anymore. Its just not really worth it to work hard at various things only to feel defeated and unable to connect with others. All of the advice I've been hasn't helped either. Trying to meet people or join clubs, groups, etc., in an attempt to be less lonely doesn't work if you are not the person others want to be around. 

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I've never been someone other people seem to want to hang out with or be around in general. I can't fix it no matter what I try other people tend to not like me very much. I hate being alive. I hate what has become of my life. I really wish I had someone to talk to. I'm not sure where I'm going with this I'm just really hurt and alone even though I live with the people who made me.