Last May, I was diagnosed with BPD. I didn't care, and continued on with my life. Then, not long after that, I opened up my relationship with my current partner. We added in an old friend of mine, and it was fun for, oh... 2 days. Then I felt terrible and unloved and spiraled out of control. I started talking to this crazy moody guy, and left my partner of 3 years because I couldn't communicate the truth; that all I wanted was him. 

Now this man, he's special. He's always been a lighthouse in the storm that is my life, and even after everything that I put him through,  he still wants me. He still sees something in me that I just can't see in myself. 

I want this relationship to work. I don't want to be like this, wishy washy, moody motherfucker.  I either hate him or love him, though I know its love because he really is my best friend.  Im just sick of the back and forth on EVERYTHING  in my life. It's not just my partner I feel this way about.  It's my home, my job, my family...

BPD hurts, alot. And I don't want to hurt the people I love anymore.