For the first time, I recognized that I was too tired to get up to eat. It had been roughly 6 hours since a few spoonfuls of rice. I played with the idea of sleeping off the hunger and almost did. I eventually got up, microwaved a burrito and after two bites I just don’t want to eat. It tastes good, but I just don’t want it. I’m laying in bed, burrito still there. 
I’m so tired, mentally spent, emotionally frayed and exposed. Everyday is a fucking battle and it’s getting harder and harder. 
Sometimes I think about ceasing to exist. Not a scenario of planning my death, but simply dissipating into nothing. So far only my mind seems to be doing that. 
I just want to collapse.