honestly i feel like i am beyond repair and there’s nothing i can do to fix my life. i have burned bridges with countless amounts of people in my life, and all of them want nothing to do with me and no ounce of forgiveness. ive tried therapists and doing some small changes but i just go back to the old me. and now i am here, at 22 years old with no job, no motivation, and no friends at all. i have no one. i have no relationships. and its hard enough for me to connect with someone but i am even afraid to do so because i’ll just end up hurting them again or go thru some type of “losing them” phase and be broken again. i am nothing but a shell of a person at this point and i am all alone and i have no idea what to do. i can’t repair any past relationships and im just lost at this point. the only reason for going on for me right now is because my cat. im all she has known and i would never want to hurt her by leaving bc i love animals more than anything. but other than that, what is the point. it feels like i will forever be this way and im an unlovable monster. im sick of being triggered and feel like my world is collapsing when im fp doesnt answer me etc. theres just no undoing my brain now. im too far gone