hey y'all!

i just need to get this out somewhere so I'm writing this post, I'm not asking for a disgnosis and I'm also currently in therapy! I'm seeing my therapist next week and will talk to him about everything I mention here (and I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to it or not.)

I've just had a lot of realizations about my health this past year. I was diagnosed with social anxiety at 8 years old but I was always just told that I'm shy. I went to ergotherapy even thoough the psychologist reccommened psychotherapy.  
At 8 years old I was also diagnosed with scoliosis but my parents thought to themselves that I would "grow out of it" (as my father told me). I'm still angry at my parents for neglecting my health issues.

This January I was finally diagnosed with ADHD. I went undiagnosed 20 years and only after I did excessive research and talked to my therapist about it and then he finally diagnosed me. I'm still coming to terms with it but I've started medication and am now working with my first ADHD self-help book!!

Then these last few weeks I've been realizing more and more about my (mental) health. I've realized that I have C-PTSD due to childhood (and still ongoing trauma, I am very sure of that but of course I will talk to my therapist about it.  
Ever since I started researching more and more about C-PTSD I felt finally understood after so so long.  
Reading my C-PTSD self-help book made me able to relate to something for the first time in my life.

I've also learnt that I probably still have some kind of anxiety disorder, as I said, I've lived my whole life with social anxiety. My earliest memory of me being anxious was in kindergarten! It got better when I was about 16/17 years old but only for a short time and since my parents always told me that I'm "just shy", I  always thought that my anxious experiences are standard and everybody felt as anxious as I do when confronted with non-threatening situations! Lately, I've noticed that this CAN'T be normal and it felt... interesting but also really good to realize this.

What made me write this post is that I've learnt that there's also a good chance I have (mild?) IBS. It's managable so I'm not looking that far into it at the moment because C-PTSD and anxiety are more relevant topics right now. But just the fact how even IBS would connect to my C-PTSD and social anxiety leaves me feeling really good to be honest (because I just feel that finally I belong somewhere and I'm not the weird one out).

20 years  of my life nothing made sense and I've always felt misunderstood and like an outsider and now it's finally coming together.

Posting this makes me really nervous, I know many are not fans of self-diagnosing but please don't judge me, I'm being responsible about it.