I’m feeling like i’m once again at a dead end and I truly feel like the only option where I’ll be happy is if I run away to live with my mother 5 hours away. I’m a 15 year old with zero direction and straight F’s. I wake up every morning with immediate anxiety and my body always feels heavy. I’m so close to relapsing on weed and sh and everything is just getting to be too much. Everyday is the exact same. Go to school, go home, get screamed at by my grandparents and cry myself to sleep. I can’t do school work at all. Everyone sees me as some lazy fucking delinquent. Nobody in this shitty town gives a fuck. 

I was planning to get a job in January when I turn 16 and save up for a greyhound ticket or hitch a ride from someone down to where my mom lives. I don’t want to end up as another dropout bum but this life really REALLY isn’t for me. I can’t live like this anymore. Sometimes I get so scared that i’m gonna kill myself or slice myself open. My entire life whenever I went to my grandparents or father for help they ignored me and told me I was too young to be feeling how I feel and now they always wonder why I never open up to them and look so miserable all the time. So I’ve learned to be independent. I think I can handle running away to my mother once i’m 16 and wait 2 years to go back to school.

- If yes, please leave some useful tips for runaways. I heard about the whole tracking thing and am willing to throw away all my electronics