don't know how to solve this.  Before I completely isolated myself from my classmates, I already hated myself in any attempt to communicate with them (and anyone else).  I corrupted my identity daily to be a person who doesn't represent me, just to be able to talk to my friends and make friends.  When I don't embrace the character the results are even worse, as my thoughts don't sync with my lines and all that comes out are disconnected and involuntary words that I wouldn't have liked to say.  I hate myself with every word that comes out of my mouth.  But still, I hadn't walked away, it was simply moving on despite all the self-hatred.  At the beginning of the year I had an episode of depersonalization that lasted just over a month, I walked away from everyone and only returned (inevitably) when classes resumed.  But that day I felt the need to be in the presence of other people and I "fitted in" again.  Now that I don't feel that, it's different, I find myself in a state of deep inertia, I don't feel like talking to anyone (which isn't necessarily a bad thing because at least I don't hate myself that much) or doing anything other than the activities. I spend breaks in my desk and sometimes I feel like leaving classes because the classroom becomes an unbearable environment.  It's excruciating when someone I used to talk to starts a conversation.  I would spend the day quiet if my friend (who wants to have sex with me) don't waste so much of your time trying to cheer me up.  I know he will soon get tired of me and my condition, and I will be alone.  I would very much like to be able to express my thoughts.