This is not a post slamming the narcissist. I genuinely believe (and I am fairly certain it is actually fact) that narcissism is caused by similar trauma to that which is at the root of BPD. It is a different response to similar trauma.

But having BPD and DATING a narcissist......honestly it’s probably going to kill me. If I don’t find a way out, it will kill me. I will most likely end up killing myself accidentally in one of my self-destructive meltdowns, rather is than in a pre-meditated way. And I really care anymore whether or not that happens. Yet someone I still want HIM. The him I know he could be if I was worth it. 

I’m too far gone, this post is more of a warning to others. Narcissists are not bad people. They are hurt and traumatized deep down. But they will NEVER show empathy. They will never take responsibility for the ways they hurt you. They will never feel guilt for how little they offer you in the relationship. They aren’t able to. 

So please get out. Take it from someone who will die at the hands of her relationship with a narcissist: Get out. It’s a long, long road of suffering that will lead to inevitable death (accidental or otherwise) and tbh....that feels like the prize now- just to at least be out of this absolute hell.