Does anyone else here feel it? 

The call of the void is that feeling you have when you’re driving down the highway at 80mph and you know one flick of the steering wheel will kill you. So you grip the steering wheel tighter and you may or may not split in that moment. 

Or when you’re looking at a gun, and you have a strong urge to put it in your mouth and fire. So you hug your arms against your body so that you don’t find them moving without your permission. 

Let’s get one thing clear... I don’t want to die, but I have strong urges to die almost every day. I’m afraid to talk about this with people. I just casually mentioned the void to my boyfriend and he said he’s never felt it before, and is now worried I’m depressed and suicidal. Which is why I can’t bring myself to bring it up with my shrink. I don’t want her committing me. (Have I mentioned I suffer massive trust issues?) I’ve  been depressed before, and I’m sure I’m not now. Yet death is always calling... tempting me.

Is it possible to be suicidal and not depressed? 
