My self-destructive thoughts are scaring me and they've been especially strong since last month. Whenever I see our knife in the kitchen I have a strong urge to stab myself with it. I also go up the roofdeck of our condo and every time I stare downwards my feet start itching to jump. All throughout the day I think about doing other things like drinking all my medication in one go, and the like. What alarms me the most is how I don't feel any sort of fear anymore. I'm at that point where I really might end up doing these things soon. 

However, I'd like to think that I'm still self-aware enough to know that this shouldn't be normal. Therapy doesn't work anymore so I turned to posting here. 

How do you stop yourself from having these thoughts?