I have been doing really well this year, I was in therapy and a DBT group that I recently quit because I felt that I had gained all that I could for the time being. And my Therapist was exhibiting some unprofessional behaviors, it was difficult to even schedule appointments with her these days.
I'm still managing symptoms, or behaviors and whatnot but I'm sensing that something is off...
I did a lot this summer, and I may have over extended myself a little bit. 

I started noticing this when I began seeing a new guy a little over a month ago. He's very sweet and I have enjoyed spending time with him. I have moments where I feel connection, but it's becoming apparent to me that more often than not I don't feel anything when he's being really sweet to me. I can't feel anything when he tells me that I'm beautiful or that he likes me. I respond appropriately. I feel like I can play the part, but I have shut myself off emotionally. There was a moment this weekend where I felt like I might be missing him, but I realized it wasn't him that I missed but rather that I missed being pampered and showered with affection. 

I wish I could say that it scares me, but I do not even quite feel that way. I am concerned that I might unintentionally block out more emotions as time goes on.
The things that I've been able to feel lately are a sort of bittersweet feeling and sorrow about some familial situations, and a sort of sentimental loving feeling for the sweet and innocent things in my life (mainly the children I work with).


I don't know if this could be considered dissociation or what, but I do notice I've also been having lingual issues as well. I will occasionally have trouble recalling a common word for something, or switch letters around on accident. Like today I said "parving cumckins" instead of "carving pumpkins". I'm feeling so emotionally drained, but I'm not sure how one even recharges at this point.

I'm going to be seeking out a Therapist for trauma work. But for now, I would appreciate any support...even if it's just that you feel that you can relate.