If two pwBPD in a relationship explode at each other and say mean things that they can’t take back, is the relationship salvageable?

In good times, it feels we’re legitimately the only people who understand and empathize with each other fully.

In bad times, we re-traumatize and re-victimize each other.

We’re really really similar, have similar (in some ways the same) goals/values/backgrounds/opinions/interests.

But sometimes it feels like there’s this wall between us and it makes it impossible to communicate, sometimes leading to destructiveness.

Do we both just need therapy to work out our own traumas and insecurities first? Or do we have no chance of picking up the pieces at this point?