I realise the internet has bastardised the term 'triggered' so much that it is a joke now but forgive my (accurate) usage of the term

My boyfriend who I live with has a cold and I find the clearing throat noises &amp; coughing very very triggering for childhood trauma reasons, despite being very aware that they are absolutely innocuous. Like, trust me, I know. It's really stupid. 

I'm just so angry with him for getting the cold but also I feel exhausted by it - I had a good week or so and I just feel thrown by this sudden escalation in BPD symptoms and just like the fight isn't there anymore to deal with these feelings of rage / resentment / helplessness and so I'm just avoiding the hell out of him which is easy enough to do b/c it's quite a big house. I'm not looking him in the eye in case he realises how detached I feel. He knows I find it difficult to deal with so he's basically just letting me hide, but I have no idea if sometimes it's okay to retreat to lick your wounds a bit or if I should opposite action it out, which just feels impossible. I just want to be on my own. I just want to not have this reaction to such minor inconveniences. I just want to not have BPD. I just want to be alone. 

I feel exhausted by all these feelings and I'm feeling very close to snapping &amp; self harming and that feels like the best option