I know that relationships are my biggest trigger. That's why I've refused to even speak to any guy for almost three years now. I have come a long way in therapy over those years, and I'm finally happy and at peace within myself. I spend most of my time enjoying my life rather than trying to cope my way through. Don't get me wrong- I'm still definitely BPD as all hell, but I know myself well enough to handle what I have to and what I want to do... except for dating. 

I am so scared of dating. I don't want to be thrown back in to chaos, but I really miss having that someone to snuggle up with, and I'd like to explore intimacy with a sober and stable mind. I guess I'm just not much of a gambler anymore, and it feels like betting my progress should I go out and try to connect on that level with someone again. 

What do you think? Any experiences or advice?