I've been so depressed. My life feels like such a mess, and I keep every emotion inside and it's been building up for a really long time. I have had so many absesnces in school so far this year, most of them unexcused. I've missed a week of school, I want to go back but I feel so behind in everything especially in my physics class. I was supposed to take a test and didn't, I don't understand any of the material and I feel like if I told my teacher he'd just be very disappointed and annoyed with me. Waking up on time for school is hard. And I've just been having so much anxiety about it, and my home life has been terrible and frustrating. I want to go badly, to get away from home, but for some reason I can't. And it's my anxiety. I'm also unable to focus when I do go to school. I just try not to cry. When I look at the papers nothing makes sense anymore, ane I feel like everything is spinning. All I can say is at least I'm not suicidal. It crosses my mind occasionally, that's about it. I wish I could tell my teachers how I've been feeling. Not as an excuse or for less work. I'd just love it if I had someone who understood me and could motivate me a little to go to school. Or a teacher that could help me with my work or just to talk to.