I’m sorry if the title sounds desperate, I’m not sure what to include there. The past few days have been extremely overwhelming for me and I can’t afford therapy so I don’t really know what I can do at this point to help myself and I’m here to ask for any resources / advice y’all can give.
I was a abused for about a year and every single day was spent wondering if I’ll be alive the next and it messed me up. Recently I’ve found myself talking about it more because some of the abuser’s friends still try to do stuff to me and i don’t know why. I used to be an extremely social person earlier, I was also great with work, spent about 12-13 hours a day working without any issues and the rest was spent with my friends. During the year I was isolated from all of my friends and I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone. I lost touch with most of them but only one stayed. Recently that one person has also started drifting and to some extent I understand why. I’m just not myself anymore. I feel feverish 24/7, I can’t do anything fun, my energy’s gone, everything seems so difficult to do. No one wants to be around that and I understand that part. But I’m really not able to live like this. I feel so sick all the time that I’m barely able to get anything done and I cry at the smallest of things. I really don’t want this to be my normal and I’d really appreciate any help anyone could provide. Thank you so much