Life is pretty shitty rn and im tired of acting like everything is okay/or that im okay i have to wake up everyday early and act like im fine when im really not n that id rather be dead lmao for 2 weeks now shit has been incredibly exhausting but 2 days ago i finally started cracking and its getting worse with each passing day now especially as i feel like i have no one to talk to or anyone that cares, i really tried my best to fight off this entire mood today/tonight but someone i thought i was close with is being distant and im not sure if im overthinking or not which is causing me to spiral and i just want to cry myself to sleep now

I really wish i could avoid a way of having these thoughts but i cant and they just fill my subconscious