starting to lose the point of living at this point, i've been starting to become more and more severely depressed every week, to the point that my friends are starting to notice, i've lost all meaning to life.

i don't have the energy to do anything anymore, it's difficult doing my normal routine every day, waking up feels even more like shit, and i just zone out and slip into another existence for nearly most of the day, nighttime is even worse, at that time everything just seems fake, nothing real anymore, just wanting to go outside and wander about and gaze at the night sky, just feeling empty. every single day feels the exact same. feeling empty is worse than feeling sad, when you're empty, you just feel like nothing can be changed, like nothing can be done to fix it all, but when you're sad, you can just let it out and move on.

i don't want to live, but i don't want to die, i don't want to watch my friends and family see that i'm gone, all for nothing, when i could've just spoken to them, it's tough.

apathy hits me hard every time i think of the past, which reminds me of the only time when i've felt happy and distracted from the thought of suicide and taking my own life.

i don't know anymore, i might just go ahead and end it all soon.

just want to feel happy again.