19f
I don’t even know why I do anything. Every day feels like a waste. I don’t enjoy anything and I don’t even know a time when I ever did. I can’t stop thinking that I’m supposed to die soon. There’s nothing here for me! 
I work to pay rent and I hate my job and I don’t even like living on my own. I’m going back to school but I hate school and I’ve always failed in it. I have no relationship with my family. I don’t have real or close friends. I have my boyfriend but that doesn’t feel good or special anymore either. I can’t think of anything at all stopping me from killing myself. I’m not looking forward to anything. I’m dreading work which I have to do almost every day, at work I dread coming home, I’m dreading school, everything’s making me want to kill myself I can’t think of any reason not to. I don’t think this life was meant for me. I don’t want to feel this way forever and ever and ever. I can’t do it. I want to stop existing. It’s too damn sad

I had a drug overdose the other day and as soon as it was over I couldn’t stop wondering why I couldn’t have just died. It made me cry so much. I should have. I wish I had