I'm a 34 yr old man that has spent his entire teens/adult years struggling with intense depression and anxiety. I had tried to get help many times over the years and even have had a mental health professional admit she was ready to give up on me (which is horrible for anyone with BPD).

No therapist has ever offered a diagnosis so I've never really been able to fully understand what is going on in my head. Over the last year I've been on a push to really try to get better and figure out whats wrong. For the longest time I rejected the idea that I could have a personality disorder, because crazy shit right, and I'm not crazy.

I recently have been able to strip away much of my protective ego and have found that BPD would explain most of my poor social behavior. I plan to get back into therapy as I now understand the types of treatment and why they would be helpful. I had one therapist try DBT with me but I just couldn't grasp it. Being able to identify as BPD, and strip away my ego I now understand what she was trying to do for me and I plan to give her many thanks the next time I speak to her. She was the only therapist that I got along with and now I understand how much effort she was putting in to help me.

All that said finding this subreddit and reading others story's and knowing my own past I hope every person in here knows how truly strong they are. The fact that we're here trying to improve and get through another day despite our own attempts to sabotage speaks volumes to who each of us are. I hope to each person that reads this post that you can keep pushing forward and I hope you all find the healing you need and deserve. Remember that even in your darkest moments you're human, you're allowed to be imperfect. Do the best you are able each day and you're already ahead of the game. I wish I could give all the members of this sub a huge hug you're all wonderful!