Everything I do is a drag, I don't have much ambition or enjoyment in life and everything I do, having no friends or a relationship just hurts, feels like I have no reason to continue apart from doing things I'm already bored with and just living for the sake of it, I don't have much to keep me going, apart from false hopes and fantasies of my life getting better, my life just feels like a long process I can't wait to get out of, because I honestly believe that death is a better state than living as myself; I can't stand living with myself and how worthless I am; it appears that suicide isn't a frightening thought for me, but living a life I can't stand is.