My brother is 23 and I'm 26. He has a mental handicap that made it impossible for him to learn, speech deficiency, and can't take care of himself. It is obvious that something is very wrong and my parents deny it and pretend like nothing is wrong and that he is just "strange". When I was 21, I finally got the courage to ask mom what is wrong with my brother. She got offended and said nothing is wrong with him and that he's just different. And that was that. I learned that my grandparents had also always wondered what's wrong and that my parents gave them the same half ass excuse that he's just different. So I've never actually known what is wrong. I remember when he was little, he didn't talk until he was about 4 and he had extreme speech issues. I remember my parents having speech pathologists privately coming out to the house to work with him in addition to a private tutor who tried to help him grasp the simplest of every day physical concepts. I remember in school, his teachers would counsel with my mom and try to put him in special ed. My mom just would deny that he needed special ed and started doing his homework for him so that he would be passed through. He doesn't have a lot of physical indicators of his disability, but you can kind of tell something isn't right when you look at him. Because of my parents insisting that he be in classes with normal kids, the other kids at school just thought he was weird and he was bullied to an extreme. Mom just pretended it wasn't a big deal. He didn't know any better to care, at least I hope. Eventually he graduated high school with the help of my mom and his teachers compliance to just pass him through. 
Ever since he has been out of school, he's lived with my parents and just gone to work with my dad every day. He's starting to realize his life is not like mine and our little brothers. I moved out, went to college, worked full time jobs, and have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. Our youngest brother, who is the smartest one, moved out and is going to college to pursue his doctoral degree. My brother has seen this and has become visibly confused and upset at why he didn't go to college, why he's never had a girlfriend, and why he still lives at home with no end in sight. My parents have never told him something is wrong with him, so he sees himself as a failure and as less than everyone else. When really, he's probably beaten some pretty serious odds and is probably functioning way higher than expected. He has developed anger issues and screams and yells at my mom all day. He is frustrated because he realizes something isn't right and he has no answers. I don't even know what is tevhnically wrong with him so I can't tell him myself. My youngest brother is in denial with my parents and just pretends he is fine but I know he knows better (he's studying to become a medical doctor. He knows full on that something isn't fucking right and chooses to side with parents). 
One thing my brother has been able to do is get a drivers license. My parents allowed him to fly under the radar and somehow, after 6 failed permit tests and 6 failed drivers tests, get a license. He can operate a car but he can't exactly grasp the rules of the road, and his anxiety makes him forget what he does know. For example, there are parts of town he knows he has to avoid because the traffic situations are ones he can't begin to comprehend (roundabout, lane changes). My parents feel bad about his situation so they bought him a brand new Silverado. His first order of business was to scrape against a car while pulling out of a dollar general. He then just fled the scene after destroying this car. Police came out to my parents house looking for him after dollar general submitted the security camera footage. The officer talked to my dad and my dad somehow kept him from seeing/talking to my brother so the officer never knew he was mentally handicapped. He got away with that one. 
Next, my brother calls me in the middle of the night. He decided to follow someone when he saw them leave the bowling alley. (Never knew why). Followed them until they sped up and lost him. He just kept driving until he was over an hour away from home. He ran into a roadblock while lost, and instead of stopping, he gunned it and ran through and almost hit the officer standing roadside. The police chased him on foot until they got him to stop and they ripped into him. They thought he had been drinking because of his speech inpediment and his obvious mental handicap. Somehow they let him go. He called me after that, lost, unable to use his GPS (he can't comprehend gps) so I had to pull mine up and step by step get him back home. He did not understand what he had done and just kept saying "those asshole cops ran after me!!" And didn't understand the situation. A week later, he rear ended someone at 45 mph. Totaled his truck. TOTALED. My parents allowed him to pay to get his totaled truck repaired, which cost more than twice what a new truck would. (My dad sells land in his name so he has income). They let him make decisions like that so he will feel independent and grown up, but what they are doing is hurting him. He also loves to scream out the n word when he gets excited. It's kind of like Tourette's, but I don't know if he has Tourette's. He gets excited and screams "fuck! Shit! N*****!" And He will do it in public. This alone makes me live in constant fear of someone hearing him and something bad happening. Another fear my family has and has discussed is him going after a young girl and becoming a sex offender. As a grown man with sexual curiosity and no education about it, my brother is constantly  on the internet chatting with those fake porn site girls. That's fine. But he also gets on Facebook and messages young girls to the point of their parents getting involved. He's never acted on it, but if a young girl came at him, he wouldn't say no. I'm terrified of this. My parents refuse to talk about what is wrong, they refuse to tell him what's wrong, and they refuse to parent him the way he needs. It's like they've given up and think he will be safe in their household with their income and their safety net forever. Reality is, someday he will be in my care. By then, how bad will it have gotten? 
My parents live a super conservative Christian lifestyle. They do not drink at all and they are very high and mighty. The church is their stage and church attendance is their main value. As long as everyone is at church every Sunday and nobody in the congregation knows we have a mentally disabled member of our family, all Is well for them. I'm sick of them hiding it like it's something to be ashamed about. Ignoring it will nOt make it go away. He is 23 now and it's only getting worse. I feel like I'm the only person in the family who cares about this. I'm sick of them keeping this a secret for the sake of image. It won't be a good image when he does something horrible and is on the front page of the paper. 
Anyone else ever heard of anything so crazy? What would you do if you were me? I am stuck. Maybe it's not my place to care. 
