Vent/cry/needed to get it out.
It’s been 4 months since we had our miscarriage. Things were looking up as my cycle was finally back to normal. I was meant to ovulate this week and I felt hopeful.

Last night I was waiting for my husband to get home from work and he was about 2 hours late. I was getting so worried when I finally received a knock on the door. 2 police officers informed me that my husband had been in a fatal car accident. Devastated doesn’t cut it. I can’t fathom life without him.

Something that hurts and keeps running through my head right now is two things 
1. I am about to go through our lost babies due date alone, while also grieving my husband 
2. To have my rainbow baby, I will now need to find a new partner and then get to the stage of a relationship to even fathom trying again - so let’s say 5 years minimum. By then I will be considered a mature pregnancy and likely find it hard and be high risk

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how I can carry on. He was my world. I can’t do this without him.