Most people I’ve met will not give a second thought to ignoring someone who seems anxious or depressed, instead generalising them as lazy, boring, or deranged to some extent. I’ve noticed this mostly because people won’t even consider what the reason may be behind such behaviours and will judge based on the behaviour solely. This cycle of mental illnesses causing me to be depressed and those symptoms being accentuated by people who just don’t care, has done nothing but make into a husk of someone I wished I was. I have so many surface level traits now because I constantly have to try and fit in that I feel like I have so little personality of my own that I’m boring. I don’t enjoy small talk anymore because it brings literally nothing to a conversation and just makes me more anxious about how boring the conversation is/could be getting. Everything I do will somehow end up leading to disappointing someone I love. In any effort to get closer to people therefore, I have in the end only pushed them away.