I'd never heard of BPD until I saw a meme crossposted from r/adhdmemes . 

F30s 30% of my relationships with men - both short and long term - are pretty healthy start to finish. The other 70% as soon as any physical intimacy occurs I get "crazy" and kick it up a notch over and over until they go no contact. These 70% rarely get to the point where a relationship forms and if it does I sabotage it within a mere couple months. 

If someone acted towards me the way I've acted at times - I dunno. I know these men handle my behavior more adult then I would. That's so cringe. 

Friday I made a therapy appointment. 

I REALLY need others who can relate to confess, confide, share with me.