I noticed that I always start to work out and diet excessively when my relationship seems to fall apart. It’s the only thing that keeps me together when the relationship I feel so dependent no longer feels reliable. It’s like I want to at least maintain some kind of control over my life and something to focus on instead. I kinda try to keep the chaos in my head in check with structure from the outside. And I also think that working out and dieting helps me to feel myself and that I’m still alive. This mostly happens during a crisis when I finally stop being pathetic and try to get on my feet again. I still feel lost and sad, but this really helps me to survive.