Sometimes I feel like it’s easier to be hated because it’s less complicated. People leave you alone, you’re not constantly wondering if people like you or if they’re gonna hurt you because they’re not there. You know they can’t. I put up this wall and I’m a dick because it’s easier. If you’re always bad, people won’t be surprised when you’re mean. You don’t have to live up to the expectations of always being that good part of yourself because you’re pretending it doesn’t exist. 

But then sometimes I want sit everyone down and explain all my traumas and tell them I’m not a bad person I’m just hurting and ask them to love me and cuddle me and tell me everything’s ok. I just want people to treat me like a kid and look after me and treat me like I’m their whole world and like they genuinely love me. 

....anyone else? lol