Im so tired of this stupid anxiety. I hate myself, I am tired of living so afraid of everything and knowing theres nothing I will ever be able to do. I cant stand how pathetic and awful I feel everytime I cant go somewhere or have to tell someone i cant come to whatever I was invited to.

My boyfriend hates me. I feel so useless and hated when he tells me how my anxiety makes him feel. Im so sorry that I cant fix myself for him. I dont want him to feel the burden of my panic attacks just because his friends invited us out. I hate myself I just want to be a normal couple.

I wish I was normal. I hate being so stupid. I just want to be able to live life like everyone else I know. I wish i could just easily talk to people and goto work and go out with friends like they do. It hurts so bad to know I will never live a normal life. And everyone is going to leave me because they dont understand me, tney dont understand how hard it is for me to go places, because to them its nothing. I just wanna know what thats like, even for a day, not to worry about anything and everything. Im so jealous of them.