(I tried to check out the rules to see if a post like this is appropriate, if not I apologise) 
I've been in the shadows of reddit for years and this is my first time I've ever made a post, I'm only saying that because it may seem all over the place and I would really appreciate patience. I'm already over thinking it but I really need opinions of others with BPD that have been in "long term" relationships because I feel like I'm going fucking crazy.

In perspective, I'm incredibly grateful that my partner is a decent person with next to zero malicious intent compared to my previous partners. He's been my longest relationship but I'm finding myself constantly in a state of frustration and I don't know if I'm having a bpd moment or if I'm justified and need to gtfo. I end up frustrated over (what I deem to be) 'little' things but they feel so huge to me, like picking up clothes off the floor, putting a load of washing on, doing dishes etc. household shit. He works weekdays so I completely understand wanting to come home and relax after working all day, and since covid has put my study on hold, I don't feel as though there's a reason for me not to do majority of the housework (I believe that's fair, since I'd hope he'd do the same for me if the situation was reversed) I made sure dinner  was ready on the weekdays, make him snacks for work, make sure the bed was made, the house was clean and I'd offer him drinks and snacks when he got home from work, even helped him with his laundry and waking up in the morning (he sets 4 alarms and sleeps through the first 3 🙄) I'd make him a coffee and spend some time with him before he left because I know it helps me wake up when I have someone to talk to, and I admired him for working and wanted to make it as easy as possible because I find it really damn difficult to maintain a job let alone study or do basic self care. I still have some really bad days and I keep a lot of my thoughts and impulsivities to myself because I know it makes him uncomfortable, he knows they're there I just don't bring them up as often as my brain tells me to. I don't expect him to understand what living in my melon is like everyday, but it'd be nice to see the effort being made into helping me and making me feel as good as I make him. He'll be thoughtful and helpful but majority of the time only when provoked, we originally had an agreement that I'd take care of the weekdays and he'd take care of the weekends i.e dinner was his responsibility on the weekends and he'd vacuum and mop the floors and take care of the majority of the cleaning on those two days so I could crash without feeling like a disaster (which I was DOWN for) but that resulted in spending savings on take away food, energy drinks, sacrificing games over sleep (there is a time and place my dudes, I am guilty of this too but I don't risk staying up till 2am when I need to be responsible at 5am the next day), and forget the mop and the vac.. I really am split between coming off ungrateful for having someone who isn't like the other people I've been with, and wanting to be alone because I feel like he's never going to take responsibility because he really doesn't seem to have any interest in it and seems to enjoy the routine of eat, sleep, game, repeat and I want more than that in a relationship, we've had countless conversations about how I feel and nothing's really changed. It'd be so much easier if I only had myself to worry about, but I don't want to make an uneducated decision. The intensity of the feels in all of this make it really fucking difficult to find moments of clarity and insight so I'd really appreciate others opinions right now as I can't talk to my circle about this. Thanks for reading