I'm avoiding dealing with changes in my life, namely employment, and falling back into destructive habits like smoking admittedly a lot of weed, self-injury, and drinking. I know it's all a bad move, yet I can't make myself do anything else. I mean, I haven't ruined any relationships, can't I call that a win? I realize that flirting with danger and drinking to the point of near-passing out isn't healthy, but like, my day to day life has been basically obliterated and beyond restarting the whole 'apply everywhere' routine, I dunno what else to do. Maybe this is just a rant into the void, I'm sorry. 