I hear so many friends talk about how middle school was awful for them, but I look back and remember it so fondly. Not because it was my "glory days" or anything like that, but because it was the last time I can remember being able to enjoy life as it comes, and to take things one moment at a time. Just being able to play video games and relax without my mind wandering to ultimately pointless things to be anxious about. Being able to enjoy my hobbies, being able to go out in public without thoughts consuming me about the judgement of every stranger that walks by. I miss the days of being able to do nothing productive, and not be wrought with guilt about it.

I'm 26 now. The best way I can put things is that on paper, my life looks pretty great. Anxiety makes things pretty tough a lot of the time, as I'm sure you can all empathize with. I'm sitting here right now at 1 pm on a Saturday; I don't have work today, all my chores are done, the apartment is spotless, and my grocery shopping is all done, yet just sitting around and wanting to have a lazy day is the hardest thing for me. I suppose I just needed to vent about this. I miss the way my mind used to work.