I'm gonna try and make this as anonymous as possible. I'm F16, and I struggle with insecurities as much as any girl my age. My insecurities have gotten pretty bad recently, though. My main issue with myself is my face, it seems off and it looks ugly but in a different way every time I look at myself, it's as if it warps and looks deformed in a different way every time I look. I used have facial features that I didn't mind so much but now I hate it all. I can't even leave my house without a hood on or something to cover my face, like a large scarf. I've tried makeup, but the disappointment of it not making me look any better makes me break down to the point of crying and feeling physically sick. I've recently started looking at pretty girls online (not in a lewd way lol) as a way to feed my insecurities and make myself feel worse, I guess it's a form of self-harm or something. Once I see a pretty girl on my feed, I look at her for ages, slowly feeling worse and worse. I don't know why I get so transfixed tbh, I don't like the feelings I feel when I look at them, I hate feeling insecure and I hate to hate myself, but I can't stop doing it. I used to self-harm, like the 'traditional' way, I guess, but I've stopped now. Is this normal? Is looking at other people to feel worse and to hurt mentally normal? (sorry for my grammar, English is not my first language)  
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TLDR; Is it normal to look at pretty people to make myself feel worse to the point of physical sickness?