I used to wonder if somewhere along my life I went through a porthole into another dimension, like the Mandela effect for all the things I’ve done wrong willingly. Like life is the incarnation of all the consequences of your terrible actions and the result is a state of limbo waiting to die…like I fell into a well looking up at a pin of light. The pin is the only thing that keeps me around but I’m not sure Ill ever be able to climb all the way up and reach it. 

But I’ve been in this dimension a while. And now I wonder if this proverbial hell is just my new home. That maybe I can transfigure everything in my mind if I somehow accept that I live here and make peace with it. Maybe then it loses its power and then maybe I can start climbing up the well. I don’t know. Anyone else feel this way?