hey guys, pretty new to this whole thing, but lately ive been feeling rlly down. I feel like on paper my life is pretty good. i’m a 21m, just graduated college and landed a job that pays me quite well and has pretty flexible hours. i have large groups of friends, where we often go out every weekend, and a supportive family. With all that being said, i feel incredibly empty. 

Recently i’ve developed a gambling problem. I think its because when I win a hand of blackjack I feel something, whereas usually i just feel numb. Lost $5000 dollars this weekend. Honestly the money is besides the point, it sucks losing that much, but i make enough from work that I’ll be fine as long as i stop here.

I really wasn’t prepared for how boring and stagnant my life feels after university. Work 5 days a week, go out Fri and Sat, spend Sun recovering. I feel as if my life is destined for mediocrity and Im having a hard time coming to terms with that.

I guess what I’m getting to is that for all of my life I never understood how people would get depressed, and am unsure what exactly I’m feeling. I’m not suicidal or anything, I loved my life but recently these thoughts have been really bugging me. I feel alone, and even though I have close friends and family I feel as if I can’t tell them any of this.

How do I get out of this rut?