i'm stuck in my own mind and i have been for so long. i'm insanely fucking stuck and i can't leave. i just haven't felt myself in years. it's some fucked up cycle knowing that i do the same thing every day. my life hasn't changed all too much since the pandemic started and now since i've got myself at rock bottom, nothing feels worth it anymore. life's so different for me now and i see it in a different way. i wonder if i just take it "one day at a time" like i'm supposed to if there will ever be an end to all this. i just want to be happy again cause i can't remember the last time i truly was since it's been way too long. 

it doesn't feel worth it to continue going on if i have nothing going for me.