My mom was, to put it lightly, a lacking parent as I grew up. I hated her for a lot of my teenage years and only started to forgive her and come around when I moved with my dad a thousand miles away from her. We had low contact and it made things easier. I also think missing me made her noticeably nicer to me. It was all going so well for over a year. That was a whole year of finally having love for my mom and feeling the way others do towards their normal loving mothers. I really loved feeling that way and I was so grateful to finally have that with her and she knew that. Now my parents have an opportunity for me that would cross a big boundary for me and my dad was chill about it but my mom was not. She was on the phone with me spewing a bunch of her old bullshit and I was on the phone crying and yelling right back at her and at some point I stopped crying about our argument and started crying in mourning of the mother I knew for the past year. I hate that in a 25 minute phone call we're back to square one. And I'm almost devastated that I have the self respect to not try again with her.