I currently am 23, and live with my parents. Life after high school has been a downward spiral, and for the first 3 years of post-graduation, I was unaware of half of my problems. I'll list out some of the reasons why. 

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\- A parent is verbally abusive towards me, the other doesn't do anything about it. My mom is the primary instigator of a lot of my problems at home. She frequently snaps at anyone for minor things such as mentioning things she dislikes or just small stuff. She constantly complains about a lot of these problems and it causes extreme stress on my life. She frequently bothers me about things I am not really interested in, and when I say something, or the off chance I snap at her, she starts arguing with me regularly and brings it up to my father, who usually complains to me and tells me I need to just "put up with it". I agree with the statement that "She isn't going to change", but I've began to understand the way I describe this to my friends that I don't deserve this treatment, and it needs to stop. 

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She acts this way to the entire household. Especially towards my brother who is diagnosed with ADHD (though I heavily suspect he has autism as well). He is pretty overweight and struggles with an eating disorder. That and small mistakes that he makes causes my mom to yell at him and harass him over it for sometimes 30 minutes at a time, frequently repeating the same things. She does this to me too over past arguments we've had, but I try to be quiet and hide a lot of my shortcomings from her. My dad just doesn't do anything about anything that she does. She exhibits a lot of toxic behavior. It's pretty much gotten to the point for the past year or two, I have tried my hardest to completely avoid being around her. Usually going into another room if she ever comes out (I live in the living room). I refuse to get out of bed a lot of the times when she is around, and I try not to look at her or even speak to her. 

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\- My parents are neglectful and wouldn't be accepting of the real me. I am non-binary, a leftist, and bisexual; to which most of these things my parents are vehemently against. They constantly complain about social issues, even to the point to call people who believe in Black Lives Matter "thugs" and they frequently talk negatively about LGBT relatives in my family. I'm afraid if I came out to them, they'd harass me; kick me out of my home, and I'd be in a situation I truly couldn't escape. 

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\- I have no friends. At least; the friends I do have I am in a very similar situation with them, than I am with my parents. They aren't very accepting and downplay trans and mental health struggles that I face on a regular basis. They love showing content made by constervative creators that harass people like me, and I'm highly doubtful I could ever come out to them, and they'd be accepting. 

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\- I have no money, no means of transportation, and I feel inconfident in my abilities to hold a job. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and depression in 2020. I started to realize then what all was going on with me. I have pretty fragmented relationships, tend to be extremely scared and paranoid a lot of the time, and find it extremely difficult to do things I love, and keep up with routines and appointments. I go months without bathing and doing laundry, because I just forget about it and/or lack motivation to do it. I like stuff like music, but have extreme difficulty keeping up with music and other current things, despite really wanting to. I've tried to do internet based forms of income such as sex work, content creating, music, etc.; but when I try, I usually get a few hours into it; barely get anything done because I am stuck constantly trying to come up with ideas, or struggling to execute them, and I give up and don't try for weeks or months. I try again a while into the future, and the cycle repeats. I get worrried people won't like the things I do, or nothing I do will get noticed, and that also eats into it, because I've made posts for help multiple times before, and didn't receive any advice. It's stuff like this that makes me feel like I couldn't hold a job. My disabilities control my entire life right now, and not having a support system or money for medications or therapy makes it hard. 

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I was in free therapy, but it did nothing to help, and the people there hardly ever got me on any sort've plan to receive medication or some kinda plan. Part of it was my fault because it was hard for me to carry out the things they wanted me to do, and I often missed appointments because I have trouble sleeping and would constantly miss appointments because I missed my alarm. I'm considering trying to re-enroll, which I'll probably do, but I am not really sure how much it will benefit me.

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\- I got denied disability. I took all this evidence I had and applied, and just blew it... The mental exam I did; the person kind of rushed into certain topics and never really gave me much time to think about things. I ended up getting extremely nervous, and tremored for most of the interview, and missed out on explaining a lot of details, despite trying to prepare and do mock interviews to myself for weeks before my exam. They ended up interpreting my problems as "I have energy, but I lack the motivation to do things" when that is certainly not true, and I guess trying to explain it did nothing, because I got denied. 

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I'm just at a dead end. I have no idea what to do. I want to get into a better situation desperately. A place where I could have a support system, security, and just be able to improve. My current situation makes my mental health pretty much impossible to control. Most progress I make just gets erased the minute I go through a traumatic situation, or just get reminded of traumas in my life (which happens way more often than I am comfortable to admit). I'm really not sure what to do, and I desperately need advice right now.