it's no secret that we tend to mould ourselves based on our FP's personality, likes and dislikes etc. it's one of the major reasons why we're so volatile as people and feel so empty inside all the goddamn time. but sometimes you find someone who you can just be yourself with – and I mean really YOURSELF, not some plastic persona you're putting on in a desperately pathetic attempt to be loved in return. someone you can share your fucked-up thoughts with. all the real dark shit. opinions and ideas and memories and feelings that would probably scare most people. shit that would get you arrested maybe. you know, just the freedom to speak your mind. the feeling of being understood – truly, deeply, profoundly understood. the amazing feeling that you don't need to mould yourself to suit them, because you already fit their mould straight from the box. what a fucking euphoric thing that is.

so what are you meant to do when you lose that? everyone fucks off in the end anyway, nothing is built to last, but I feel like hitting that jackpot is like lightning – it'll never strike twice.

please prove me wrong. please say that's not true. I would love to hear that.