Here's what I say to my therapist/ psychiatrist on the regular:

"I have 2-3 thoughts of killing myself daily. I have a few methods I think about a lot but the main one is *redacted.* It's not a viable plan right now because *support person 1* would definitely notice me trying that. Sometimes I also think about *also redacted* but the urge to do that passes quickly because it seems super unpleasant.

My current safety plan is to watch *favorite show on Netflix* or fidget with *favorite fidgety toy* If I had to I could call *support person 1* but if they're not available I could call *support person 2* or *support person 3.* I don't want to, but if I called *family member* they would pick up and support me. I also have called *local support phone line* and they didn't pick up right away last time but *national support line* did."

And then we talk about meds / coping skills / whatever the appointment is about.

All you need to keep from being hospitalized by 99% of mental health professionals is that

* your urges to harm yourself are unlikely to result in permanent harm because you don't meet at least one of the criteria:

    * you don't really wanna do it

    * you don't have a method that will actually hurt you

    * the method you have isn't easily accessible.

    * Few suicidal people meet all three criteria. You might think you're willing until you realize that 99% of accessible methods are very unpleasant AND take a long time. Once you realize that (especially from experience) you come to your damn senses.

* You have a solid safety plan that includes

    * independent coping mechanisms like hobbies or breathing or as-needed medication prescribed by your doctor

    * personal support persons that include friends and family that would talk to you on the phone or come see you in person

    * structural support services including your local mental health board, the local ER, and national helplines.

And if you don't meet those criteria, or you don't have that safety plan, almost any competent therapist or psychiatrist will make one with you.

Trust me, they wanna keep yo BPD ass out of the hospital. BPD is incredibly difficult for the hospital to manage and often the patient gets worse during their stay. They do NOT want to hospitalize you. If you wanna stay out, they'll almost definitely work with you on that.

So be honest. There's so little to lose, and so much to gain.