I’m so alone just existing for the sake of it the loneliness is eating me up touch starved they call it. Hating everything about me I’ve spent years feeling this way hoping for a better tomorrow and I’m still in the same position I was in college with the stress seeing others talking having fun socialising while I’m stuck in my head I’ve took a lot of thought of myself these past days and I think ending it is not so bad after all family are distant with me except for my mother but I just doesn’t feel enough I don’t even know what I want from life or what I’m even aiming for it’s like I’m just along for this miserable ride to I eventually die I just don’t know anymore I brought a noose and I look at it as away out of this feels like the times I enjoyed living when I was a kid has just dried up and I feel like a old man like my life is just ended  What does it mean to be happy?