Im not really sure how to start this, its my first post and im pretty nervous about it but I’ll do my best. 

(Im a male age 20) 3 weeks ago, a girl (21) i had been in a relationship with for 6 months broke up with me. She isnt ready for something as serious as this and she isnt on the same level as me aswell as needing some time to figure out her health (long term conditions prior to me). Something to note is that it was only her 3rd relationship with the first 2 only lasting a month. 

The only way i can describe how i feel is complete devastation. I have known for a long time that i love this girl more than anything and anybody i have loved prior. True love is what i feel for her. It was only 6 months but I thought she really could have been the one. Everyone tells me it gets easier with time, but im not finding that. I suffer from depression and anxiety so i dont know if its from that or heart break, every single day that goes by i miss her more and more. I still can’t sleep or eat properly and im really nervous for when we go back to college on Wednesday. A lot of stuff has happened recently that had brought my anxiety higher than usual but this has pushed me over to a point of which I’ve never been before. Im starting to hallucinate which I’ve read can happen with anxiety, it doesn’t make it any less terrifying. Coupled with this and the break up, im really struggling to find the positives right now. The motivation im using to keep going us the gym. 

I know this post is kinda messy but I’ve not really let this out at all over the past month. 
My main reason for this is that am I selfish for finding myself not ready to face her in person even tho we’ve checked in through text? I just feel like im gonns break down but i cant miss the start of my course. 

Im really unsure on what to do.