I dont want to self diagnose, but my ex thought I had bpd-like symptoms.

You can check my post history for my latest post on the red flags I noticed in him that led to a lot of my behavior. I was emotionally reactive with him at times during the relationship, escalated too quickly at times, though at other times was able to maintain my cool.

But my view of him shifted a fair bit. If he did something scary or off, I didnt see him as being potentially right for me. I was a bit rigid with his mistakes but then he talked me out of it.

When we met, I was pretty stable with him. So this didnt start happening until 3 months in (after he already snapped at me over something) but I remember apologizing for being overly harsh about something. Then he would show big levels of anger to me over small to medium things and I'd try to empathize but his reactions seemed off, so it started to worry me and I got less and less stable in the relationship as more things he did were triggering. Disclaimer: he told me he seems to have that effect on people (he triggers easily) so it wasnt just me.

After 2 or 3 months of a not so great dynamic, I pointed out that our arguments were getting toxic and we needed to fix it. He mocked the use of the word toxic and told me it was all fine. He encouraged me to show bigger levels of emotion and anger, so I did, but would usually feel bad and apologize. But for awhile I had a hard time not being a little too harsh on him as by that point it felt he put me through a few things (for ex: asking if he could talk to an ex only a month in to which I told him it was a boundary for me, later revealing he had slept with that ex, getting really upset at a couple of my male friendships he thought were inappropriate when there was no cheating or interest on my part, threatening to contact my sister over something I said, asking me to leave his apartment at 4am, sometimes being really quick to anger when I said something he didnt like or agree with that pertained to him, etc). Once I realized it was not good, I tried hard to contain myself but at that point we sunk into a toxic fighting style (sometimes using "f you", which he said first, and sometimes him yelling and hanging up, me mirroring similar-ish things but a bit less). 

I pointed it out and asked if we could stop or change it. He was more reluctant to than I was. Eventually I got annoyed and it showed more and more and we broke up over him saying "f you" again and then we got back together and were good most days but then the fights started again and then it was hard not to notice.

I think he'd tell people I had bpd, but knowing his history and seeing how he treated me in anger, all that contributed to how I was. I had a really hard time trusting him when I learned about his past patterns, but he kept talking me out of it. So I was pretty unstable at times and I remember a day I'd feel we couldnt continue, another few days we were good, then back to doubting it (sometimes after he did or said something, sometimes just me remembering things that happened).

Does this sound like bpd? I had poor regulation in one other relationship (when the person led me on), but in others I was pretty firm and had a grip on myself and ended things when it was clear it didnt work. 

To add: I have a stable job, I have friends but some friends I've obviously grown apart from and only one or two where I had a falling out with. I had some family issues (I grew up in dysfunction and abuse tbh) so I was unstable towards family, but working on my family relationships so I have clear boundaries (my mother was abusive to me growing up in overt ways and my father in covert ways/neglectful ways). I moved out to have my own place and I feel stable most days. I dont know if maybe just relationships trigger this or if I have bpd or what?