Even writing this is difficult.  
I was first diagnosed in my third year of undergrad with bipolar with psychotic features after rapid cycling. I did graduate with the degrees that I wanted, and after finally adjusting my medication (lithium and cilexa), things seemed good.  
Then things got bad again, for seemingly no reason. I remember being horribly depressed around Christmas, then things just improved again.   
Now I'm in graduate school, and when I started, I felt wonderful. I was making friends, my research was exciting, and I felt like I found a great place where I belonged.  
But all that has changed.  
Now I spend my days in a haze. I don't feel the drive that I had a few months ago. It saddens me, since I work with some incredible people.   
I've been rapid cycling through life so much that it all doesn't feel real anymore.  
I guess I'm just wondering if others here feel the same.  
Luckily I have a very supporting family, and a wonderful psychiatrist, and a wonderful PI who understands my condition, and has helped in some very important ways.  
Take care of yourselves.