I was diagnosed with schizophrenia back in September. Me and my psychiatrist believe I started developing schizophrenia when k was around 18 or 19 years old. It started with what I thought was anxiety, but apparently wasn't. I would be extremely worried and believe things that weren't really true. Like how I thought my boss wanted to fire me because I was too short of a person, or how I believed that others wanted to poison my food. I thought it was just really bad anxiety. I did work a good job, and over time I would believe and worry about more and more things until I eventually quit my job. So after I quit my job I started college, and did really well. Until I gradually started believing my classmates wanted to kill me if I didn't turn my homework on time. I would worry that the remotes that controlled the projectors had laser pointers on them and wanted to blind me. Like even if they were just pointed in my direction I would freak out. So I left college to focus on my mental health, and to relieve that "stress" from college and avoid those situations. Then my grandma died shortly after from cancer. It was the worst time of my life. My grandma was the closest person I had. After that it went downhill, and very quickly. The voices were present throughout all of this, but only here and there at first. Now I have delusions, am always home, don't sleep, don't really eat, and don't really take of myself. I feel as if nothing is real, not even my own arms. I have memory problems, psychotic episodes where I completely shut down, and don't moves dont speak and I don't even know it's happening until after I am done. I also used to hang out with friends and family all the time. Now I don't. I feel like they could have chemicals or lasers and try to harm me. Even seeing someone at the mall like a janitor I feel as if he knows something and is plotting to harm me or torture me. I feel like there's no escape. Thanks for reading.