I dated this person for like 5-6 months, ldr, never met her irl but we were so close and connected so well then out of nowhere became a completely different person towards me and triggered the living fuck out of me constantly. I know she wasn’t good for me but it still hurts, knowing I didn’t get to meet her because of covid I feel like I lost an opportunity that could’ve flourished even though I know if we met then it would’ve been harder for me to move on because these issues how she was treating me weren’t going to change cause I tried to talk about them a billion times.

It’s been like 20 days no contact now, I still feel in agony, I can’t seem to think about anything other than her, I rotate between deep anger and missing her so bad. She wanted to be friends, I told her to not contact me unless it’s important or she figure out what she wants. I just want to be free from this pain and completely lack care/empathy like usual (I’m quiet bpd) she’s in my friends group and I’ve cut everyone off and I can’t rejoin it until I’m fully over her because I know no matter what I’ll get triggered or want to tell her how hurt she made me feel. ( I held it in and was nothing but nice during breakup because I didn’t want her to be horrible to me while I’m fragile due to my abandonment)