During a manic episode last year I had unprotected sex and got pregnant from a fwb. I miscarried.  

Three weeks ago I was manic again and hypersexual. I had a one night stand and now I’m pregnant again even though I used a condom. 

I hate myself so much. I know it’s not my disorders fault, I choose to do these things because of how I’m feeling, right? I just wish I could control it. I want to be strong and “tough it out.” I don’t want to be bipolar. But I can’t control it. 

I’m on a mood stabilizer but I keep having episodes. I do these stupid things. Now I’m pregnant again. I’m an idiot and I hate myself.