I always struggle with depression and it makes me not make friends, form relationships, ruins family ones. It’s like Im so stuck in life and there is no support system. I already have burdened my family. Dates go terribly and I don’t bother trying to meet people. It scares me to know how alone I am and I wish there was an easy answer. I know it’s up to me to build new relationships, but it’s like in my mind and body there’s just no energy and it’s like Im slowly fading away. I don’t feel present usually and people are just there existing. I look at my arms and it’s the only reminder from 10 years ago of the length and severity of my pain. I want to be more normal, but I also just feel Im almost 30 so it’s too late. I feel Im in a constant state of stress and I need to change but I don’t believe in myself at this age after so long that it is possible alone.