I spend most of my days just rotting away in bed. I’m 20 years old and I’ve achieved absolutely nothing in my life. Everything makes me extremely anxious. Whenever i find something even somewhat challenging I completely give up and breakdown. I would scratch myself daily for hours on end cause it was the only thing that would help me cope with my feelings which led me to being hospitalised twice and unable to use my hands for just under 2 months in total. I live with my Mum who constantly lets me know I’m a burden to her. She tried to kick me out the house a couple months ago but i just ignored her and pretended she wasn’t there. She then proceeded to smash up my room but I really could not have cared less and it’s still in that state. My mum did a terrible job parenting me as she basically did nothing. Sometimes i hang out with my dad cause he cooks food and speaks to me, I don’t really know him that well though. He tries to encourage me and build up my confidence but i just feel like a lost cause. I wish i grew up with him instead.