I came across bpd on here and after reading a lot about it I wonder if I might. Ive always struggled with "what's wrong with me" "I can't control my emotions". 

-fear of abandonment: ive had a fear of abandonment for as long as i can remember. Ive pushed people away &amp; ruined relationships before. I lost a few people I was close too in a short amount of time as a kid and it greatly impacted me. Between losing people and being bullied at school &amp; home. I shut down. 

-numb/feeling of emptiness: i don't get this as often anymore. But I remember a period of time (few years) where I felt nothing. No happy or sad just whats the point. I couldn't/didn't want to connect with anyone. 

-ive never tried to commit suicide. But I've always kinda wished I wouldn't wake up in the morning. I struggled with self harm in high school. 

-irritability; my moods definitely swing. And sometimes I get so irritated/frustrated I don't know what to do or how to shake it. I end up upsetting people I care about cause they don't get it either 

Explosive anger; i hate this about myself. I try hard to be mindful but I know I struggle with this. 

-im sensitive. I cant tell you how many times I've been called sensitive or told I take things to seriously. Much of the time its what people love about me at first but I always end up getting sensitive about something I guess I... shouldn't or most wouldn't. 

Ive tried to talk to therapists but have never brought up BPD before. The few times I've gone I kinda gave up quick talking cause I seem so nice and normal the therapist would question that I really have these problems. "Oh I'm sure your not like that"

Trust my therapist person I get bad and can't control it.