My best friend and I are both not that mentally well, but they are in a considerably more fragile state than I am for good reason. 
I normally don’t tell them my problems cause I don’t find the need to vent that much but they get frustrated because they are always venting to me and they feel it’s too one sided and for me. They always ask me to relay on them 

and we have this promise that if any of us get too much into a bad place we will reach out to the other. Normally they are honest with this, so till today I have believe on them 

A few hours ago I told them about something bad that going to happen to me might affect us both. We talk about it and till the end it seem normal. They said that they were going to try to sleep but “if it get too bad I promise I will tell you, for real. So I am going to trust you to do the same”. 


Image my surprise when scrolling to Reddit I saw a post they made on r/suicidewatch AND r/selfharm cause they needed someone to talk and were in danger. 


By the point the post is gone, so I can’t help but think how many times have they been this bad either because something happened or me and instead of reaching out been in anger of doing something to themselves. All while preaching about trust; and truth and communication. How I am supposed to trust them when they say they are okey now? 

It’s safe to say I won’t be sharing any of my problems anymore cause i will never know if I am passing a boundary or triggering them or affecting them too much and I can’t trust they will tell me. I refuse to be the reason one of the persons I treasure to be on those subreddits again.