For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm not suffocating on unsure plans/future or afraid 24/7. It seems that things aren't gonna end up as I wanted, especially my relationship... But I, strangely, don't care that much now.

It's been almost a week until the last time I had deep and bad feelings, and I don't know what happened. I don't feel happy either, but I laugh more easily now. I still feel quite anxious at random moments, but not as much as before.

I haven't taken any medication and it's been almost two weeks since my last therapy session, I guess. There's no reason why I feel so... numb?

Anyway, I love it. Not torturing me all the time is good. Not caring is fine, it feels like freedom. I wanted it to last forever. I fear it's gonna be devastating when I come back to my "normal", but I'm just trying to enjoy this feeling.

I'm not sure if this is a common thing between BPD people or if I'm using this "illusion" that everything is fine as escapism.