I dont know when exactly it was when i just started becoming so miserable that now im feeling like walking dead inside , everyday im doing same shit , just being regular useless consumer when im myself dont even put anything in return to world in return , i just hate myself . the worst part of this i just dont wanna change , i dont want anything in a world anymore , i know that even if i would push harder i will never be as whole as i once was and i just dont see any point in life , im just carrying on so that i wont cause my family even more pain or dissapointment that im already causing . Idk why im writing this , just wanted to get it out of my chest since this reddit is my only socialising i do .