So I asked for help with my issues from my uni for the first time last June after 4 to 5 years of self harm and not being to manage my emotions.

Uni gave me 6 weeks of therapy and told me if I wanted more help I had to ask my GP.

I saw a GP in august. they gave me an assessment appointment and decided to send me to the community mental health team.

I saw the community mental health team in December. they gave me another assessment appointment. they diagnosed me with BPD and told me I'd be put on a wait list for DBT, and that I should also self-refer to a talking therapy service on top of that.

The talking therapy service has scheduled another assessment appointment for next month.

Today, I phoned the community mental health team because the letter they sent me had information about DBT but no information on when or how I would be contacted about getting it. They said I was on the wait list but I was taken off of it when I referred myself for talking therapy because I couldn't use two different services at once (fair enough but they could have told me!!). 

So now I just have to wait for the next assessment appointment and hope that they can put me back on the wait list for DBT if they think that's what I need.

I knew getting therapy was gonna take time but I'm so tired of this. the last few months have been the hardest of my life and (apart from the diagnosis and using emergency phone numbers) all I've got is more stress. I know it's not their fault. I'm angrier at myself for not trying to sort myself out sooner. I find it too difficult to trust and open up to people i know to actually rely on any of them, so the promise that i was going to get help from an actual professional who could help me was the thing that was giving me hope, and now it's just uncertain.