My ex messaged me degrading me. Calling me names. Whore. Slut. I belong in an asylum. My daughter deserves a better mother. He hopes I die of cancer from the cigarettes I smoke. No one loves me. Everyone knows I’m a whore. My mother was too busy being beaten by my father that she couldn’t teach me to be a lady. My dad is a crackhead. All kinds of stuff. I know my dad is a crackhead. He knew all of this bc I shared it with him, for it only to be used against me later on. He’s a jerk and I feel sorry for him. I was loyal. I did care. I didn’t lie to him. I accused him of lying. Which I still believe he was bc I found proof. BPD doesn’t blind me from facts. I know I can have delusions and my perception is distorted at times but I also know when fact is just fact. Some people run when confronted with lies. It’s the ultimate coward way in my opinion. I have BPD but I still love. It’s just hard feeling loved.  But regardless of that, I can still set boundaries for the way I’m treated and BPD isn’t a factor in that! With or without BPD I’m not going to let a man scream and call me names. My reaction is BPD and illogical sometimes and other times it’s just a normal reaction to abuse. Don’t let a mf always blame you bc of your illness. They will use it as a weapon. I’m here to tell you a borderline CAN love, CAN commit, CAN be loyal and honest, CAN be a good partner! Maybe it’s not just the borderline that is the problem!! Don’t always feel like it’s your fault bc of your illness and you’re unlovable or anything else assholes may say... bc that’s just not the truth! And you know it!!