Yesterday I read a thread in here and it mentioned another sub which I looked up. People in there had at some point a relationship with a bpd person, and they were convinced we were nothing but mirroring, life sucking monsters. 

I used to do a lot of the things mentioned in those post: lashing, splitting, ghosting, the need to retaliate. 
It made me feel like I'll be a burden (and eventually a trauma) for whoever picks me as a partner.