Does anyone else feel fake as fuck? Like no matter what you do or say it’s going to come off as ingenuine (for lack of a better/actual word). Today is my  ex roommates birthday from college. I feel like during my college years we were really close but months after graduating (when I became aware of my bpd) I feel l just fell off. I don’t know how to say happy birthday to him because it’s just been a minute since we’ve last spoken. I feel like all my friends think I’m abusing drugs and alcohol. Whenever people see me for the first time in awhile I’m usually fucked up. But that’s every once in awhile. I don’t do shit. I don’t post shit. For all my friends know I could be dead. But yeah I just don’t know what to say. I just feel whatever I say, he’s gonna think it’s fake as fuck anyway. Like we don’t talk about how we’re both doing anymore idk man. Idk.