fear of abandonment is awake 24/7 recently. boyfriend was unemployed for a long time but now he has finally found a job he loves and is making big bux. and doing mental health treatment. 


the entire time he was unemployed i was working and doing better than ever in life. but shit hit the absolute fan for me mentally around end of April. i have not had a job &amp; i have applied for disability right when i lost my last job. it takes months for a decision. 

so you see, now the roles are reversed. now i am the one who is broke &amp; unemployed because i am too mentally ill. and i am terrified of him leaving me because i am struggling. 

these past 2 years while he was struggling, it never entered my mind to leave him. i am hoping he can feel the same way about me. im determined to get better, i am making progress. mental illness is just very hard.