My life right now is about as perfect as it can be - I am genuinely happy and the most stable I’ve ever been. But my DHs mental health has declined, he hates his job and is overwhelmed by perceived responsibilities (he has a hard time just being and keeps adding to his plate).  

His unhappiness makes me unhappy and I’m basically miserable around him dealing with his grumpiness and trying to figure out anything to help him feel better.  Part of me says for my mental health to grey rock and do my own thing but I love my husband, and don’t want us to drift apart or abandon him. I also don’t want him to be miserable. We have an amazing life, it makes me sad and is literally the only thing that is a downer in my life right now.  Of course I feel partially to blame, if I was better at XY or Z I would be able to soothe his pain. But is that my job? Am I intruding on his personal path?

This is a pattern in my relationships and I think it may be related to BPD.  I’m looking for insight and advice 💜