I’m 21, I know I’m still young but I have no plans for a career. Short term, long term, I’m taking it day by day because that’s all I can handle. I feel like I’ll hate whatever I choose to go into, or I’ll suck at it so much it won’t be worth doing. I’m working at a machine shop right now, and it takes everything I have not to lose my mind each day.. I don’t know how I’ll handle anything more.

I don’t even want to think about it. If I’m being honest I’ve been planning to kill myself before any of this really matters. Everything about me is so fucked up as is, I can’t see myself figuring this shit out. I’ve felt this way for too god damn long, tried to make my way out but I think I’m doomed.