Lately I’ve been really happy, buying things like toys and Halloween decorations because they make me happy. And I was thinking about how a lot of people with this diagnosis feel like they’ve “lost” who they were before, and I remembered what it was like before I began to recover.

This is really important to remember. Happiness is temporary, but so is pain. All emotions and states in life are temporary. But that doesn’t mean it happens once and never comes back. This pain will not be here forever. It’s going to be hard, but you will start to rebuild yourself again and the things you used to enjoy will come back. You might always struggle, but happiness will come back as well. Nothing is permanent. Life is a constant ocean of change.

Find the little things in your day to day life that being you joy or at least make the pain easier. Maybe the flowers smell good. Maybe butterflies are flying in the gardens. Listen to your favorite songs and watch comforting movies. Maybe you will find something that will help with your pain, like art or reading. People that you don’t need will exit your life and make room for those who will appreciate you.

Your illness lies to you. Things are not hopeless. It’s like this little monster that bullies you into doing and feeling things, but it doesn’t have to be that way forever. Continue taking your meds, or keep working on getting the right mixture. Keep visiting your doctors and therapists. Keep trying. You will find happiness again.