I can feel/notice my boyfriend losing feelings for me, he asks me why I like him and he tells me why he likes me but his responses are different, he's leaving me on read. It literally feels like he's avoiding talking to me, I'm trying my hardest and it's leaving me emotionally and physically exhausted. I feel my brain literally rotting and I just want to isolate myself from my friends and family. 

He did this before, but for some reason I'm now taking it serious and panicking that he'll never reply and he doesn't love me anymore. He barely respond to me in dms and in group chats. I genuinely thought he loved me but I must have been wrong. I feel sick, I want to cry. I feel like nothings ever good enough for me, there's always an issue.

I want to kill myself, he's getting bored of me and he's everything to me. If I don't have him, I won't be able to cope.

Update: he responded, but I can see my bpd behaviours coming through. I can't get help because I'm under 18 and no one believes how much I'm struggling