 

Hi, I'm just looking for some support on anxiety/childhood trauma/attachment issues. and yes I'm in therapy. I'm 37 years old female and growing up my father when he was alive didn't really accept me because of my ADHD. There were often times he physically abused me. On top of this in school I was bullied. I had a friend who would be my friend one day and then the next day not be my friend. This childhood trauma has effected my friendships in the adult world where if someone accepts me and my issues I tend to latch onto them. I have ADHD, Anxiety, and OCD that goes along with it. The OCD and the attachment problems go together.

I'm a gamer and recently made a new friend who my age. She is a girl that is so much like me and she understands me. I have gotten attached to her I can feel it. We play GTA FiveM together and I always want to be with her when she is on her character Beth. We talk to each other everyday on Discord &amp; I try to get her to go into voice with me but she prefers not to be as she is staff in the GTA Roleplay Server &amp; doesn't want to be accused of rule breaking since sometimes when she is in voice with people it will come through her mic into the server.

I have noticed I get anxiety when we don't talk, and I'm trying to do things on my own to space between us even though things are fine with us. I'm just trying to fix this attachment thing with her. She understands me and she doesn't have an issue.

At 37 I don't have life experience that others do, I never really explored my sexuality and I feel like this girl has me questioning everything &amp; that maybe I caught feelings for her. She was going through something and that's how we became close because I helped her through it as we are similar so much. She is coming out of a break up but she did ask me about sexuality and told me she is pansexual. She would make comments how I'd end up with a GF and it was funny. She said that's why she asked me about sexuality as she wasn't sure how I felt about it. Ever since my head has been spinning and I feel like I really do like her.

I talked to my therapist about this and she thinks it's obsessive feelings making me confused due to the attachment issues I have. I was wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation who can help give some guidance here. I feel so down on myself and embarrassed of how I am. I hate it that I have these issues and that my brain is like this.

But this new friend she is so understanding and she doesn't judge me at all for it. However as you know with anxiety it's hard to not constantly worried does she not want to hang out with me etc.