How are you? I understand this isn't the place for meaningful or deep conversation, but something has been marinating in my mind, and I'd like to get another person's input and opinions, and if I may, a variety of them.. 

But before I begin, some background and backstory.

They say you fully understand and grow to know yourself at 26, that you somehow start to peak, and therefore, it all goes downhill from here. I'm not sure how true that sentiment is, but with a few weeks before I turn 27, I have grown a bit more nervous and apprehensive about finding my way and purpose in life.

There are things I enjoy and things I know I'm not good at, no doubt. But as with all regularities, I tend to overthink these types of events, for example, how do I know if I'm not really that good at something versus not just having given it extra time and practice? Another thing is how do I find what I should be doing? How does one even find their true passion, really? 

This is a hard thing for me to fathom and come to grips with, because I've always tried to live a care-free life. I'm not sure what the heck it is I'm really doing, to be honest. I'm like a rift-raft in the ocean, with no direction or destination, just idly paddling, desperately looking for shore. Every opportunity or good fortune my way has sort of been the culmination of those before me, of being in the right place, in the right time.

I have a hard time believing I achieved anything solely out of merit. And if anything does end up my way, I typically find myself playing out two alternate scenarios in my mind, deciphering which path is the better one for me. In reality though, I've only ever done or partaked in things if it meant that I would somehow be better off either now or in the future.

So, that brings me to today. I'm unsure what to do next. I have no prospects, no offers, no pursuents, and no passion. No idea what to do, and no idea how to find out. 

Like a lame duck, I sit here wondering and pondering what to do. Things of course could change in a matter of a few weeks, or certainly next year, but without knowing that prophecy, and not being a believer of big fallacies, how does one find their calling and passion? 

Would love to hear from some of you if you feel the same way and have found life's calling, or if you haven't, how you're coping with this state of limbo. 

Thanks for reading, thanks for listening.