Let me tall you how much I hate myself. Mind you I am several shots in which is a bad idea but I don't give a fuck.
I fucking hate myself. I am a worthless piece of shit. Everything I fucking do turns to shit. Every good day I try to have turns to shit. I am the scum of the earth. I am a dumb ass bitch. I fucking suck. I hate myself so much that if I die tomorrow, no one would care. I wish I could be another person so that I can brutally murder myself.
I wish I were someone else. I wish I could end my life and start over. Like a video game. Just fucking die and respawn. Wouldn't that be great? I hate everything that I am. I hate the way I look. I hate the way I sound. I hate the way I interact with people. I hate the way I need people to approve of me before I can approve of myself. I hate trying to be the best mother and then coming up short. I hate trying to be the best wife and then coming up short. I juat fucking hate myself so much. I wish I could die I want to die. I don't actually want to die. I just want this part of me to die. Maybe I need medication. Maybe I need help. But will I get help? Probable not no.
Will this feeling pass? Yes. Will I have this feeling again? Yes.
I just fucking hate myself. I feel like some one out there can relate. I can't be the only person in the world how loathes themselves this much. I fear dying because I don't believe in an afterlife. So chances of me actually taking my life are slim. But I still think about it often. And I still wish that I could. Maybe, just maybe, I could end the eternal suffering that is my life.
Fuck. I hate myself.