Yesterday, my therapist got concerned about me being increasingly suicidal and had me call a crisis worker to come evaluate me. I waited for over 6 hours for them to arrive, so by the time I got there I was pretty calm and awaiting help. 

After the evaluation, they told me that all they had to offer was a spot in the crisis unit, which I refused, because my last experience at one was awful and scary due to other patients, and a lack of adequate staff or security.

They told me that part of the reason why they wouldn't offer me a spot in the hospital is because "I'm connected to resources and it's not their fault I'm unmotivated and stopped taking my meds". 

The resources are a great therapist, and a psychiatrist who doesn't even try to hide the fact that she doesn't like me, is convinced I'm some kind of alcoholic when I'm not,  and won't let me have any say over my own treatment or take into account how I'm feeling. (I know I can get another psychiatrist, but it takes months.)

The care I'm getting is not enough.

Now I'm completely numb, going through phases of katatonia, and having obsessive thoughts about slitting my wrists, about running into the woods and overdosing where no one can find me.

I don't know what to do, especially since I've already called for help. I think I really might kill myself, and no one is taking me seriously.

Tl;Dr I'm suicidal, called to get a crisis evaluation, and now everything is worse.