i’ve recently started to realize i’m entering a mania episode again due to my behavior and lack of control. i’m starting to get so irritated by everything and everyone, i feel “alive” with the need for a reckless activity or release, and my blood pressure is sky rocketing. these are just a couple of my side effects. 

however, i’m saying my dangerous impulsive thoughts out loud. i’m threatening to crash the car with my little brother in it. obviously, i never would because i do have that much self control, but i didn’t even mean to say it. i feel like a sociopath. i keep having these thoughts that are so terrifying about myself and others- and i know they’ll pass, but i’m saying them to just anyone??? i’ve never done that. has anyone had anything similar ? any advice? please.