I can't stop crying. I probably have BPD+NPD and because they couldnt be there to help me with my OCD and be calm with me my mind broke and devalued them becuase i was too self absorbed with my problems. I don't even want to talk to them anymore. I feel so fucking sad. Please someone tell me this isn't permanent. Please. Why do I do this. I'm getting therapy soon and I hope it can help me  feel for them again but i'm scared it won't. I'm so fucking suicidal.