I am a husband with a 45 year old woman who may have BPD. She is a beautiful loving person and a fantastic wife and mother, however she’s always had an erratic side to her that has never made any sense. She has had a very Trumatic childhood and life experiences up until she met me, although she claims that our relationship has been dramatic as well.

Recently our doctor suggested to me that this is something we should look at,  BPD could be a diagnosis that may help my wife. The problem is she can’t get assessed because she’s been diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer and that must be addressed first, however is she is caught up in holistic healing and has so far refused all Western medicine, scans, even staging to know the severity of her cancer.  

-She has no coping skills
-Feels scared when we have heated discussions 
-She is very particular/sensitive to body language and speech when we discuss important topics
-She has fibromyalgia for past  12 years, has not worked
-She had isolated herself from all family and friends. ( had very few friend when we met, zero now) everyone she trusts is online. 
-abusive step mother for 15 years, sexual assaults from father, birth mother moved out when she was age 3, her soulmate died suddenly due to a closet drug addiction, divorce and abortion at age 20, many inappropriate sexual advances from former employers/chiropractor/therapist