Hey everyone! I'm a first time poster here but after what happened today, I just felt the need to share. I have pretty wild anxiety spells and mood swings, due to some trauma surrounding the last few years of my life. I have crippling tokophobia (fear of pregnancy) due to S/A, and I also have generalized anxiety when it comes to life. Sometimes I get myself so worked up about small things and psych myself out of opportunities and for a long time I've been really hard on myself. Today I managed to put all of it aside and do something I didn't think I would ever be ready to do. 

I've always wanted to work in the body mod industry and I thought that would never be able to happen due to just being scared, insecure and worried about being good enough. I finally got the balls after going to a shop to get something done, to call and follow up about wanting a job opportunity there. I went this morning on my own, and talked to the shop owner for just short of 30 minutes and I've never been prouder of myself as a person and I'm emotionally overwhelmed with happiness and feeling successful. I was sweating bullets and internally rushing with adrenaline the entire time but I managed to keep my cool and contain myself until I got outside afterwards. 

They told me they would check the schedule to see if they could find a space for me this week...and I finally feel like I'm not out of control anymore. Years ago, you couldn't have PAID me to do what I did. I would have had to been forced. I'm so shocked at how well I managed and I just want to let everyone know who's struggling...you'll meet your goals and finally get to where you want to be eventually. This was such a long winded process for me, and it feels so incredible to just be able to vocalize my wants, dreams and needs, and also put myself out there without feeling anxious to the point of wanting to vomit or super nervous and lonely. 

It feels like the first step towards my future and like I'm doing something with myself and finally gaining some self confidence and sense of belonging. I no longer feel like an out of place alien, desperately trying to fit into a societal box and not managing to, and I no longer feel like my body is functioning as a separate entity to my mind. I was worried about it all week...and now I've done it I feel accomplished. I'm confident I made a good impression and I'm excited to see where this goes.