I probably say the sentence "I'm going to kill myself" about 15 times a day. It happens if I get sad, angry, jealous etc. I am hopeless and I do mean it when I say i'm going to kill myself. Eventually. But its gotten to the point where my entire family is used to my threats, and because i've never followed through with anything, they don't even respond anymore.

When I first started talking about it a year ago I was brought to hospital by police and everyone was concerned, including the staff. It was a horrible experience, BUT I was taken seriously and action was taken. Over the next few months after the first admission, I was admitted to hospital 5 more times. After 3 admissions I could tell everyone was getting pissed off. I'm now at the point where I feel I need to do something just to be taken seriously again. Doctors don't take me seriously, my family doesn't take me seriously, even I don't take myself seriously sometimes. 

I've blown my chances of getting help if I ever am *dangerously* suicidal. I don't know how much longer I can do this. 