My birthday is coming up in a few days and for the last week I’ve been pretty anxious about it. Ill be 24. I know as you get older birthdays are less special and exciting but I don’t feel like I should be worrying about it, I should be a little bit excited. 
Im just worried that it’ll feel like a regular day, that people will forget or just not care and not really show any signs of acknowledging it. I have the day off work and Im worried that spending the day alone in my flat is gonna just remind me how alone I truly am in life..
I’ll be seeing my family in the evening, but we never do anything together usually so any time I see them just feels like the same catch up regardless of the occasion. 
The weekend after myself and friends are going out drinking to celebrate and I am super grateful for that and looking forward to it a lot, but it’s like my mind isn’t letting me focus on the positivity of that, and only on the negativity of feeling so alone before then.
I’m just worried about it and it feels like there’s no real reason, like I’m stupid for feeling this way. But I can’t help it.