I went back to schooland just interacting with people in that context is so triggering for me i've been blackout drunk in my one room hut for four days, only moving to piss, shit, vomit, and get more moonshine from the shed.

like i have no idea how to sober up long enough to go back to school. talking about my issues triggers me. my therapist is incommunicadoon vacay.

and unfortunately i can make my poisons so floating my liver and cutting what little contact i have (i see my ex wife about twice a month but thats it the last three years).

i simultaneously understand i am a complete fuckup and it is within my power to change and yet i find myself completely paralyzed by even the smallest things.

histrionic and hopeless, what the fuck am i even asking?

be better than me &lt;3