So I'm a 32 year old male that is trying to figure out where I fit in in the mental health world. I'm obsessed with power and control. There's something about the two that just give me a high like feeling. I also lack empathy. When people come to me with their problems I basically blow them off and don't feel bad for them what so ever. I'm extremely irritable and get angry very quickly. Whenever someone makes me mad or talks shit to me my first thought is how I want to kill them and destroy anything that they have going on in their lives. If I knew I could get away with it I would, and not just a quick death but I want to inflict as much pain and damage to them as possible. Thankfully I can control my actions most of the time. (I've never actually killed someone btw.) There have been times where I have lost control when I was younger and stabbed my stepbrother in the hand with a pencil. Another time I put D size batteries in a sock and hit someone across the back of their head with it after pissing me off. At this time in my life I can feel that things are getting worse and I am becoming more and more reckless. Also I can be extremely manipulative.  Wtf is wrong with me because obviously this isn't normal.

I should also note that I was mentally abused by my stepmother when I was younger and I've been diagnosed with chronic depression, anxiety, and bipolar II. 

Thank you in advance.