Not that it was better anyway, but it's getting worse. I am getting pulled into this black hole of numbness where there is no light, no will, no nothing. I don't feel sad or happy, just numb except for the panic attacks which have gotten worse and more frequent. There is just so much noise in my head that all I feel like banging my head or putting a bullet to quieten it. I am not going to kill myself though, but I don't know how much more can I bear.