I cant stop sending emails and calling ex gf even though shes made it clear she wants no contact by blocking, it just makes me feel so good that i know that shes forced to think of me and that shes been traumatized by me. shes theeatened to go to the police but i know she wouldnt actually go through the trouble of doing it. I dont care that there might be consequences bc i dont care about life that much anymore and i have nothing to lose, im suicidele anyways so id rather do something really evil that would give me joy than live a hopeless life. I feel like doing something even more intimidating like going to her hourse in the middle of the night so that she would be forced to come in contact with me. It just makes me feel so damn good when i do it. her friends all already hate me bc i did some terrible stuff to her when we were together so i really have nothing to loose. Will i ever be able to be a normal person again