about two weeks ago i started feeling really great about life in general because i kinda figured what l wanna do in life, feeling good about myself, have a good routine...and it made me feel like things were gonna be okay.. don't know what happened but i feel everything crashing again. i want how i felt those 2 weeks back..i felt happy and not so numb. i made advances with my crush during those two weeks which was so out of my comfort zone, but now that i feel lost and want to die and all negative i cant talk to him anymore so i don't embarrass myself since i'm not feeling good and happy and confident anymore. i feel so gross with life. it doesn't help that i live in a toxic household. i just want to leave earth but don't want to die , i hate being a human and letting other people perceive me. i wish i could live in a hole or just disappear or just erase myself from peoples memories.