ignore this, i know i'm not being rational or kind 

my bf is pissing me off i'm so tired of the mind games he plays and his fucking drinking i want to scream at him or yell. we are long distance tho so i can't rlly do anything and i don't want to come off crazy or mean. he gets so petty and tries his hardest to upset me by withholding attention and not calling me and being dry then calling his friends and inviting them over, even tho this time he "swears" they just showed up. and now he's gonna get drunk with them and become the arrogant asshole who gives even less of a fuck about me. he tells me all these nice things then tries to make me upset on purpose to test me or something to see if i'm willing to stay. i want to talk to someone else to make him mad but he would never trust me again. i hate everything i want to scream i want to cuss him out so bad but i'll likely just use my hitatchi and smoke a bunch of weed to calm down. fuck everything he's so annoying and mean like i had a bad day already and this just makes me feel that more insane.