I was wondering if anyone else has similar experiences with BPD and team-based shooters. Mainly, my friends and I play Valorant atm. And I find myself either having episodes or almost having episodes often. I uninstalled the game because it was getting so bad, but I do love playing with my friends despite everything. 

I'm not terrible at the game but I'm definitely not mechanically skilled by any definition. And after every game, I just feel my friends resent my presence in the game. They say they don't and having fun is more important...

But it sucks. It sucks when you're being yelled at when everyone's frustrated. It sucks when you feel like no matter how well you did, everyone only has criticisms. It sucks when everyone is raving and complimenting each other and you feel left out. It just feels ostracizing. And it gets worse when there's only 5 people on a team and you have too many friends online. I find myself making excuses to leave or go off alone because the feeling that I'd be the least wanted is too prevalent. Granted, some of it is probably in my head but I really doubt all of it is. 

Does anyone else find themselves on the brink of an episode do to just a stupid videogame? How do you deal with it?