Hello, Uhm… so I was really sad last friday and got super drunk. Blacked out  (I was awake and responding, but thanks to my meds My memory just stopped functioning) and woke up with my colleague in bed.. we had sex
And like… I knew him for one day and I wasn’t sure what to think about it, but uhm
You know
Lot of trauma, so I’m unable (don’t want to) reproduce any feelings 
So I told myself that I don’t have time for a relationship to shield myself 
But.. he said to my friend that he meant it as a one nightie and now I’m sad about it
I feel like no one will ever want me and I am angry at him and I want to manipulate him into falling in love with me

Is it normal in people like us?