Hi. I live in a shitty country. I've got nothing. I'm also a very hated minority. My mom has cancer. I sound like I'm trolling but I'm literally not.

My life is so bad at the moment and I can't help but think about "doing it"... but, i don't want to die. I just don't want to live like this. 

I've been lonely most of my childhood. I was a troubled kid so I never had many friends. As soon as I wasn't troubled my anxiety took over so I stopped going out. I have very severe emetophobia that controls my whole life. 

Anything that can go wrong goes wrong in my family. I feel alienated. Even if my online besties like me, I can't help but feel like they'll leave me because of the minority I am. It's really fucking hard. Since I was a child I felt unwanted. 

People always let me down.

I have 8+ mental disorders, I am literally a genetic mess.

I'm sorry if this is too "political" I need to tell someone before I burst. I feel psychically sick right now because I feel so depressed. I just want someone to talk to :(