I’ve moved to across the country to be with someone who I often feel doesn’t like who I am or love me the way I love them. I’m tired of feeling powerless in my life. And a burden to the people I love the most. I get so disillusioned by the feeling love gives that I end up in situations with people who don’t actually want me. Or abuse me. And I just don’t know what to do or feel anymore. This country sucks (I live in America), my siblings are moving on with their lives and starting families. And I’m just as much of a wreck now as I was in middle school (I’m 25 now). I can’t seem to keep momentum in any job because I lack the passion for them. I want to be making films and music but lack the qualifications or funds to really pursue those things. I feel these horrible parallels in my life. Recurring themes. Always loving my partner more than they’re able to love me. Always unsure of what I should be doing with my life. Always a burden on the family. I just can’t continue this pattern anymore of disappointing others and therefore disappointing myself. I feel so alone and unwanted. Unneeded. The only people that need me are my family, but we’re all getting older and I can’t seem to be a part of their lives like I used to be. They’re stating their own trajectories. 
Just lost and hurting most days.