People always preach about how it's so important to check on people, and think importantly about how you talk to other people because you never know what they're dealing with, but how much of this is just false positivity. People ultimately just want to be perceived as good people and there's only a small minority of people in their lives who'd they'd go out of their way for. Like, the amount of actual support out there for struggling and marginalized people is basically none existent. People don't cast a second glance when a person who was born like any other of us is living on the streets. If you're having a suicidal episode, you're greeted with robotic call centers and text message centers that take hours to respond at times. Usually just offering the same level of advice as a pamphlet you could find at any Doctors office. Even my limited experience dealing with crisis team staff was so sterile and devoid of any emotion it makes me sick. It used to really really depress me but now I'm so used to the general isolation in the world it never even bothers me more than a dull nagging ache in the back of your mind. I don't even feel that bad for myself anymore because I'm constantly seeing homeless people, and people way worse off than me, get cast aside like they're nothing but bags of shit. I have a roof over my head for now so I'm one of the luckier ones. I just don't get how we can advance a world this much. Like, Bezos is a fucking Billionaire going into space; who owns a company that can deliver whatever random arbitrary, often superfluous, thing to you at any given moment. But we still have people living on the streets, and hospitals overcrowded during a global pandemic. We have all this wealth in the world and we happily let people suffer because it benefits us to not help them. The world is fucking toxic to its very core and I wish it could be less despicable from the bottom of my soul.