For the past 4+ years ive been going thru severe

depersonalization/derealization, social and genrealized anxiety, ocd and depression

and after 4 years of going thru abuse and neglect and fear over and over and over

the only thing i could do to survive was to accpect it and addapt to it complety

and now ive become complelty numb and full functioning to a point were i dont even have to try 

my body and mind jsut acts natural by itself all the time, and its horrible

even tho my mom and family and doctors understand im going thru soemhting they still cant understadn completly bc i seem fine

its to a point where i even start automatically telling myself i dont even go thru as much as i think

im jsut imgining it and being lazy and selfish and all that. I try my best to explain it to pp but 

ik they cant understand and i can see it, now idk what i wanted from saying htis and idk if i even explained it well i jsut needed ppl that truly gets it to hear it and to see if anyone else relates to this, thank you.