i just can’t handle it, i overthink so much and the smallest little things she does, sets me off and makes me think she hates me.

i have a perfect response in my head and if she doesn’t reply the way i expect her to i get sad and think she doesn’t like me.

i get so sad over long reply times too. sometimes we watch netflix together on a app so we both are connected to the same netflix server, and she will always just randomly disconnect and leave without saying anything, leaving me waiting for her to come back, not knowing if she’s gone to sleep, in trouble, or hates me lol. and i always get upset w her for it but she never seems to change. 

i also told her i don’t want her following guys on instagram but she still is doing it and everytime i bring it up she gives stupid excuses. i feel like i’m begging her to give me the same energy i’m giving her and it’s tiring. 

I don’t know if it’s my bpd that’s making it worse or she’s actually being a bit mean lol. 

she’s also lied to me previously even tho she knew i valued honesty above everything. we haven’t even been official more than 2 months and we’ve had a lot of issues but the problem is, i love her. 

i don’t wanna lose her it’s just really hard.