I just feel so tired and sad. Melancholic. My eyes get teary for no reason. Been dissociating for a few days  now, everything seems unreal. I cant even cry because I dont want to upset my family. But they dont understand any of my problems. I had kind of a hope, but irs all gone now. 
Idk why depression came back so heavily again.
I wish I could pull myself out of this mud.