Where can I get potassium cyanide? 

I promise it’s for myself and no one else. I need a lethal dose. Please help. I’ve been drifting away for a while now and this year has been the worse. I already had a failed OD attempt around December last year. And I can’t deal with this anymore. My mental health has filled my life upside down.  I can’t focus at work, with fam
Or doing anything. I just wanna be left alone in my bed. I’ve become a vegetable. I only leave my room for bathroom and nothing else. Just lay in bed all day. No matter how hard I try, I can’t can’t focus in school. Family. Or work. 

I’ve tried treatments as well. Didn’t work out for me. Went to therapy for a while, didn’t work. The doctors filled me with anti depressants and that make me quite worse. Mom suggested Chinese Acupuncture and that didn’t work either. Tried mediation, medication, yoga, etc. my main problem is I can’t focus. My brain tends to work at a very fast pace and I can’t calm it down. It’s always taking me to negative thoughts. I’m slowly running out of saved $$ and I can’t focus at work. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. Being alive will make my parents and my loved ones suffer more seeing me suffer. I’ve heard all kinds of talk. “It’s a hard path but it’s worth it”, “things will get better”, etc etc. 

I know Reddit is an awesome place and y’all are very helpful. Please help me with this one request. I need enough potassium cyanide for myself. Please.