I'm just wondering if starting on antidepressants again after having taking a break, is it still 1-2 months I have to wait for them to kick in again? I'm assuming so but I was also hoping maybe it'd be sooner. I've been off fluoxetine for about a month or so I think, it's hard to keep track and I feel like I'm spiralling back into feeling hopeless, kinda dream-like where I can never keep up with everything. I know I shouldn't have stopped but I'm so forgetful and it was so hard keeping up with staying on schedule with taking my meds. 

I'm also thinking maybe I should ask my doctor about an ADHD diagnosis? I was with a free service (Headspace) with a clinician helping me with my mental health but I feel like they weren't helping me enough, don't get me wrong I really really appreciate everything they did for me but it just felt so long getting answers between the sessions and I did try bringing these things up to my clinician. It was kind of a toss up between me possibly having ADHD or Autism but since I'm an adult and I live in a small town in Australia there's no psychologists or anything who can formally diagnose me here. We were doing zoom calls with an actual psychologist at times but these were very long months apart and it felt like nothing was happening, he also couldn't tell me if it was Autism/ADHD since he didn't have the qualifications. It was hard juggling the schedule with my job I had recently gotten and I kept forgetting to go to my appointments, then I kept forgetting to take my meds. Eventually I stopped going to Headspace and was no longer enrolled in their program. I felt like I would be fine, I could deal with it but I just can't.

I feel so damn isolated, like I'm on another plane of existence sometimes. I struggle so much to keep up with everything, I struggle so much to connect with people and communicate genuinely without having to mask or act. I just don't know what to do since the only other way I can get a proper diagnosis is going to the nearest big city and paying a lot of money for that diagnosis. It's $600 for a doctor to tell me if I have Autism or not and I don't even know how to go about the ADHD diagnosis. Another $500 for the flight and accommodation too. Should I try and save money for the diagnosis? I feel like my friends and family dismiss me so much about my mental health too. They make me feel so doubtful like I'd be wasting money, like I'd go over there and I'd be told nothing is wrong with me. I can save the money but I'm afraid of my friends and family being right about this sort of thing.