I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone, feeling this agonizing void in my chest each day that I don't have anyone to see or talk to.  I don't want to spend the rest of my life in so much pain. Unable to regulate my emotions. craving the attention and support that I never got growing up. I don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling so much hatred about myself, despising the person I see in the mirror. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with so much anger and resentment towards those who have failed to show they care, to my so called parents who taught me that I was crazy and broken and worthless, who used and abused me for their own gain, only to toss me to the curb like trash. I don't want to spend the rest of my life just trying to survive on my own, begging for help and being ignored. I don't want to spend the rest of my life losing everything and everyone that was good, because I couldn't accept that I deserved any of it, and instead of appreciating everything I had, I pushed it all away. I don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling like nothing is ever enough, having such unrealistic expectations from people and blowing up at them when they can't meet those expectations. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with so much regret for all the mistakes I've made, hating myself for the unforgivable ways I hurt the people around me. I don't want to spend the rest of my life, putting on a façade, pretending to be okay so I don't infect people with my negativity, and then feeling guilty when I inevitably do. I don't want to spend the rest of my life fighting this demon inside of me that makes me think, say, and behave this way, its a fight I can never win, its something I can never get rid of. I'm so tired of fighting, I'm tired of everything that I have been through, everything that I'm going through, and everything that I will go through. I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this, but I have to. All I can do is cut it short. And that's what I intend to do.