The *aggressive* knocking. It makes me feel like I'm in trouble. Just completely screws with my nervous system.

They always show up way too damn early in the morning, so the knocking wakes me up and I get JOLTED into anxiety where I can feel the inside of my body vibrating. I'm still in my pajamas so I just ignore the knocking and pretend to be asleep.

And then I have to lay in my bed still as a rock, practically holding my breath because I don't want them to think that I'm awake and just awkwardly. Can't drink water, adjust myself or anything. Nothing that gives away that I might be awake.

But I have to shower and get ready and leave for my class, I sure hope they're done by a certain time so I can do that! 

I've asked them before if they could come later but I always feel rude as fuck doing that.

Fuck.