I've gotten to a point where I genuinely can't see the worth of my life anymore. I've always valued myself and my life as much as any person could, but my entire family has always treated me like the black sheep which means my self worth has always been a constant battle. I was raised by 2 narcissistic BPD parents who hate each other, and both my step-parents were no better. As a restful of my abusive upbringing, I battle with both BPD and ASPD. Over the past year, my life has completely fallen apart. It all started when my girlfriend of 2 years ghosted me out of the blue a year ago. As a result of her stone walling me and refusing to talk to me for reasons I was never explained, I started dating someone else who was there to pick up the pieces right away. I fell very hard for this person, she was my confidant, my support, she reflected ALL of my values and interests, she was my perfect soul mate. In fact it felt as if I fell harder for her than my previous girlfriend. When it was discovered I was dating this new person, all of my exes friends alienated me and unfriended me on everything. They started saying nasty hurtful things about me on the internet. I'm a female as well, so all of these girls I had met and became friends with through my ex sided with her. I was okay with that in a way, as I had support from my best friend, and my new girlfriend and her sister. I never told my family or other friends about my breakup, so I had little to no support with that. None of my friends or family sided with me or alienated my ex the way her family and friends did to me. I had a hard time with that as well, as she had been the one to do me wrong and not the other way around. About 6 months into dating this new girl, her behavior changed drastically. She started devaluing me and being manipulative and unfair about things. I slowly learned she wasn't really who she said she was. I discovered that she was a text book sociopath. Ending things with her was absolutely heartbreaking for me, but I did it anyways. My previous ex had contacted me wanting to talk finally so I agreed. We met up and I discovered that the reason she ghosted me was because my recent ex had gone to her and told her a bunch of negative things about me and how I was being disloyal and that she should ghost me. This person was considered a very convincing and reliable source so it's unfortunate that everyone essentially believes everything this person tells them, but that's how scary good she is at manipulating. She then went to me and befriended me and started doing the same thing to me on my end, telling me negative things about my ex girlfriend which made me feel validated in our breakup. This girl literally went and broke me and my ex girlfriend up, and then went after me. I discovered she had been obsessed with me the entire time I was dating my previous girlfriend, which makes her motive pretty obvious. I told my best friend about all of this, and she supported me and felt horrible for the way my sociopathic ex had treated me and destroyed my relationship with my previous ex and her friends. Fast forward a couple weeks, sam and her friend sally (the sociopath's previous ex girlfriend sho she dated before me) called me and said they were on their way to the sociopath's house to confront her and asked if I wanted to come. Me and my best friend both came, and the 4 of us confronted her about all of her lies and manipulation. She completely turned it around on me and tried telling them it was me who was manipulating everyone, but they obviously didn't believe it. Not long after that, my birthday weekend came around and my best friend had bought me concert tickets to go see our favorite artist. My best friend unexpectedly turned on me out of the blue and sent me several very long hateful text messages about what an awful person I was and that I wasn't going to come to the concert with her (we had gotten into a disagreement about my little sisters eating disorder). She told me she never agreed with the way we treated the sociopath and that it was f\*cked up for us to go confront her like that and that she was apparently suicidal (which is false, sociopaths don't get suicidal. It was even confirmed that she wasn't by her sister). She was just VERY angry. I found out the next day that my best friend had actually gone and met up with my sociopathic ex instead at the concert. My best friend brought her sister, and our other friend zoe. I saw that they all started following each other on social media that same night, and all of them unfollowed and blocked me. Even my friend zoe, who had never even met my sociopathic ex until that night. My best friend also turned my little sister with the eating disorder against me, so she unfriended me on everything as well. All of the friends I made through my previous ex act like they still hate me. I feel like I have no one. I have no control over anything at all. My own family turns on me all the time and does the same thing where they alienated me and make me feel like the problem when I don't actually do anything to deserve it. It's gotten to this point where I don't have anyone or control over anything. Even when I do everything in my power to do what's best for me and do the right thing, it backfires. I'm seriously considering ending my life and have been for days now. 