so i’m a 22 year old. all my life i heard words like anxiety used in every other sentence but never knew the actual meaning of it. i thought being tensed is being anxious. then comes this age. a year of pandemic, a lot of stuff happening, i realised how anxious i am. and the self awareness of mental health over the year also made a huge difference. from meditating to seeking help. if i’m at home, i overthink about the worst case scenarios and if i’m out, i’m thinking about how my life could just end. it’s a never ending cycle. a fear of like or post something by mistakes and everyone watching it to saying some stupid and overthinking..i’ve seen it all.
Last night, I was just thinking about how my bestfriend blocked me without giving me any explanation. it still affects me and triggers me. I started feeling weird. I felt i couldn’t breathe. I tried everything but as soon as my family rushed me to the hospital upon my shortness of breath complains, I thought i was going to die. The fact all i could think about was life after death. that if right now i can’t breathe, i would die. i never understood what it was.
when the doctors checked the vitals, everything was normal. i calmed down but ended up crying a lot. never stopped until 2-3 continuous hours. 
I came back home and slept. I still don’t know what and why that happened. I have racing heart beat every single night. I feel it’s going to stop someday. everything is getting out of hands and i have no idea how to control it. please help me without suggesting me to go to a therapist or seek help bec i’ve tried that and it made me worse.