Hi
I’m diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and OCD. But I seriously think I have bpd (realised last month).

I am wondering if your therapists can be your fp? I had a fight with my therapist last year and afterwards I felt so horrible and empty, it was like going through a breakup until after 6 months when I saw another therapist that I liked. After a while I started to wonder if I have a crush on him, but it was strange because I was thinking about him all the time but not in a sexual way (like how I used to feel about my teachers, other therapist, etc). 2 weeks ago I had a fight with him, I said some mean things, then he said why am I making him leave me? This sentence crushed my soul I felt something so strong I don’t know what to name it but it triggered something in me and I somehow remembered the feeling I had all my life when I realised someone will not be there for me as I thought they would be (like forever, unconditional, etc). I was sobbing and hitting myself and then hung up on him. I am living in hell right now, I’m so mad I imagine hitting him but I also miss him and feel empty. Now I know that feeling I say could be what people with bpd feel when they feel like someone is leaving them/rejecting them or basically when your idealization crushes in front of you. I can now see the pattern in my whole life, in romantic and platonic relationships. I’m not sure how to process this. Because of therapy I was becoming more and more self aware but in a way that I was blaming myself for being unpredictable, violent etc. now I can look at things differently and I have hope that I may not actually be a bad person
I told a therapist yesterday for the first time I think I have bpd but I have to wait for a few weeks to go to more sessions. I really need to talk to people about this and I’m experiencing so many things but I’m also alone. 
If people with bpd can tell me if my experience resonates with them, I would be grateful