Hi this will be my first technical post so I’m new to this. I’m not sure how to desribe I’m afraid of my self but rather my life. its the same feeling I get when standing on a buetifull beach or standing in a forest listing the the birds or silence the peaceful forest offers , mixed with the thought of emptiness and pain from knowing this experience is ending soon and it won’t matter. It’s hard to sleep at night Becuase I get scared of my own existence.  the birth of me that cuased this pain this... confusion of what to do. I can’t really do this Becuase I never felt like this before. The realization of my life’s limit and age slowly pushing my boat past the falls makes my chest hurt. I get tripped up in my head, the overwhelming feeling of this is hiring harder than  before. I really don’t know what to do it scares me, I’ve never had any way to deal with all of this I’ve only really had distractions but even those are starting to fail me.