(M17) So that whole quarantine thing has brought me th comforts of being home all day being alone almost all day and being able to sleep in and plan my stuff myself. But now irl school starts again and i didn't even last the first class. Immediately after class i went home cuz i just felt so incredibly bad. The classroom was also simpliy killing me. I felt so exposed. It was already bright cuz of the sun outside but our teacher also turned on the ceiling lights and i sat in the front row with nobody next to me (cuz only half of the class is allowed to be in school at the same time) and i felt like all my flaws were exposed. My hair was shitty that day anyways and even tho my skin is in pretty good condition i still feel like i have plenty of facial flaws which are all visible rn without even looking too much. And then i always feel bad in school anyways. It's just so depressing seeing all those people being normal and happy and then there's me who's constantly got to hold back my urge to cut or to cry. Like i just wanna be invisible. Nobody talk to me nobody look at me. I hate it that i am that way. I just don't want it to be like that everyday for the next three years. If it stays that way i literally see no other way anymore than killimg myself. I just can't function the way others do. I have the greatest problems with the simplest tasks like getting up in the morning, talking to people, being in a group with people, being outside, too bright light. It's just so much. I. can't live with that anymore. It shouldn't be a thing that i get panic attacks and hour long selfconvincing to go out and buy myself something. 
Just some kind words of understanding, advise or own experiences please. I rlly feel bad rn.