Growing up I never asked for a lot of help. My parents both remarried and had new families. I was kinda left to figure things out by myself. I’ve been figuring things out by myself for 25+ years. 

And I’m having a really hard time. My BPD/ADHD isn’t being treated properly. I’m physically sick as well, and I am at a point where I know I need help. Certain “symptoms” have gotten progressively worse. I won’t go into detailed for triggers; but I’m messed up more than I’ve ever been. 

But I literally don’t know how. My partner had to explain the concept as if it was a foreign language to me. For him to explain asking for help like it was a simple thing… it was like he was speaking a whole different language.

My brain can’t process asking for help. Instead I broke down crying. It’s like that part of my brain isn’t accessible. 

How do I ask for help? How do I not feel like a burden to those who want to help me? I feel like o would rather die than take peoples help. It was always used against me when I was growing up.

I don’t comprehend :(