I've never done this before, but I think maybe I just need a safe space to vent or ask for advice for the depression that is slowly eating me alive. Thanks in advance &lt;3

A year ago I moved out of my hometown with a significant other to a new state. And for the first few months I was so happy. Even though the relationship with that person fell apart I was free and in a new place for the first time in my life. There were struggles sure, but I was living for the first time and I experienced genuine happiness that I'd never felt before. Winter rolls around and a bit of seasonal depression set in, but I get that every year because I need to be outside and I hate the cold. This year I expected to come alive and live again once spring came around, but that's not what happened.

I am not living, I'm existing and slowly dying. This year I had to move into a more expensive place to live and I absolutely hate where I live. It has no a/c (wasn't told to me before signing the lease), so I'm constantly miserable and hot. The vibe of the person I live with is just not there. I never want to be at home, but I can't afford to be anywhere else. Last year I was exploring and traveling and spending all of my free time learning. This year I'm trapped here in this shitty room because I don't have any extra money. I have a beautiful Jeep wrangler I could be exploring all of the mountains I live around and gas is $5 a gallon when this time last year it was $3. I can't afford to leave my house anymore. 

I have a very easy job where I make decent money, but because my bills are so high I have nothing left. I already tried to find a different job where I would make more and it just doesn't exist where I am and the qualifications I have. I don't spend extra money, I am incredibly frugal. I fucked my life up in my early 20's and got into credit card debt that 6 years later I'm still paying off which leaves my bills stupid high each month. I throw any extra money I do have on my debt so I can chip away at it quicker because I'm so stick of it. I don't overspend. I can't make anymore money and I can't cut anything else out. I could sell the jeep, but am upside down on the loan. 2011 wrangler with 120,000 miles for 19k anyone?

 I have about 50 houseplants stuffed in this room that are about my only sources of joy at home right now. They bring me great happiness watching them grow and thrive. I also have an amazing partner, but there's only so much he can help me and I can't rely on him for my happiness. I have a wonderful dog that is probably one of the only things that really makes me want to get out of bed anymore. I can't take care of him properly because we can't go anywhere which also depresses me because for almost 6 years he has always been the one thing I could do right and now that's taken from me too. I'm just existing and dying in this room this year and I can't take it, but I can't change anything. I'm so stuck it feels suffocating. What's worse is that I know I have many things I to be grateful for and I am, but it's not enough. 

This summer I wake up in a place I hate, go to a job that isn't fulfilling, come back to the place I hate, cook dinner, and maybe play some games before bed. Wake up and do it all over again. I stare at the mountains and cry as I sit in traffic going to and from work wondering how I got to be this person from who I was 8 months ago. I used to be such a beautiful, vibrant person and I just want her back. I was drawing, exploring, doing yoga, learning, living, never standing still, I was happy. I lost that and I just want it back, but I am so stuck it hurts every bone in my body to see what I've shriveled up into all because of fucking money... And it makes me so angry that this bullshit money hungry society we have no choice except to live in is part of the reason and the other part is my mistakes from my past are to blame and I can't change either one of those... 

Has anyone ever beat the being stuck depression before, because I don't know how to come out of this.