My daily routine nowadays is to wake up at one or two pm in the afternoon after sleeping at around five in the morning almost everyday. I don't study anymore and i just graduated highschool. I was enrolled last year into Pharmacy in a well off university, grades were fine that i got in. I took like three days into college and i just shut down before the next day. 

I don't know. I used to be fine around people and hell, it was an online class too. 

I was diagnosed three years ago with depression but at the time it was mainly like a passing thing. Like stubbing a toe on the leg of a table. It was painful then but i didn't feel like it would be consistent and constant. 

My anxiety is pretty much fueled by social stuff if not my own expectations of myself. Parents never pushed me to do something or be someone, i did that to myself. I went and enrolled last year for pharmacy but then couldn't because of anxiety. 

See where I'm getting in here? I'm fueling my own despair hahaha. 

Worst part is i still want to be a doctor or somewhere in the medical field, i enjoy science a lot. 

But i can't, so...i really don't know. The days pass and i feel empty. I feel bad about my parents working everyday and I'm doing nothing. Lounging my ass off on my bed most of the time. I cant even speak to my old friends, last time i spoke to my best friend was days after he greeted me happy birthday. And i only repond because i mistakenly opened a game we used to play together and he was online. He noticed so he messaged and i had no choice but answer. 

Oh boy do i feel tingly in my knuckles. It gets cold and i start choking. 

I feel like a husk, you know? Whoever you are, have a happy day, cuz i sure as hell haven't in the past three years.