I can’t stop hitting myself. Every time I’m frustrated or stressed or having an episode I’m punching my arms, slamming my head into hard walls until I’m weak, my hands are bruised from hitting something while drunk I can’t remember. I had such a bad episode on Saturday and my “friends” saw me at my worst and are no longer my friends for the way I acted (I.e. arguing with them, hitting myself, pulling out my hair, I screamed in a bar bathroom.) I am in no way defending my actions what I did was wrong but I can’t help but feel so heartbroken over what I did and the amount of remorse and guilt I feel. I can’t stop hurting myself whenever these things go on and I’m just so lost.