(this is a throwaway for obvious reasons. I am also intoxicated as I’m writing this so I apologise for any incoherence)

I [19M] need advice on how to deal with being a failure. 

In my life I have not accomplished a single thing which I have strived for. I’ve wanted to be a musician my whole life and my 20tg birthday is only days away now. I have suffered from anxiety my entire life but it lessened when I picked up the guitar and started recording my own music. That was 5 years ago. Now it’s dawning on me that definitely nothing will come from my ambition. All of my friends have stable relationships and a clear path to whatever it is they want to pursue in life. I recently broke up with my girlfriend because I didn’t think I was ready for a relationship. Since then it’s been meaningless sex with people I barely know and falling victim to becoming easily attached to everyone and anything, which makes me think I probably made a mistake and I’m never going to get her back. My career is going nowhere as I see people younger than me already being signed to record labels and making a living off of their music.

Nothing seems to be worth it anymore. I’ve lost all and any appetite and have lost a lot of weight. It feels like I constantly have an itch in my stomach and I’m always worried about everything. I’m slowly turning to alcohol for comfort because it does wonders to any negative feelings I have. None of this probably makes any sense at all. I just have nobody to talk to anymore and it feels like I’m completely alone and nothing is worth pursuing. All of my past ambition and inspiration has drowned in the negative feelings I’m having. 

Has anyone felt in a similar way? How did you cope with it? I just feel like I need some concrete advice from actual people from a similar situation