I have been in a serious relationship for over a year now. He is a very understanding man and he loves me unconditionally in-spite of my BPD and the struggles that come along with it. I have no control over my irritability and anger. It actually frightens me quite a bit. I do not know how to control my anger or emotions. I can get really mean and sometimes violent. As soon as I get violent or feel that much anger I try to isolate myself from him because I am so afraid of hurting him or him leaving me. I am not close  with most of my family and I don't have too many friends( just 2 close friends). The fear of pushing him away when we are both finally seeing positive changes in our lives together is crippling some days. When I am angry I become a monster and I need to control it. 