Talked about this with my therapist today and just needed to scream this into the void.

Extreme idealizing and devaluing in relationships is ONE of 9 diagnostoc criteria and you only need 5, yet almost everything about bpd centers around splitting to the point it's hard to find anything discussing bpd without it.

Not all of us have every single trait of bpd, and just because *you* experience something doesnt mean it's a bpd symptom. I've seen redicouls claims from other pwbpd, like

"pwbpd never forgive and will get revenge on you"

"If you have bpd and say you're not manipulative you just aren't as self aware as me and are worse"

Or on the flip side

"I can't help that I'm manipulative, I have bpd that's the way we are"
"I stalked and harrassed him cause I have bpd I can't help it"

NO. These are not bpd traits and it is very wrong to characterize a whole ass mental illness based on your experience. BPD is *not* an excuse for all of your bad behavior. Stop spreading misinformation.

Not everyone with bpd splits.
Not everyone with bpd is imulsive.
Not everyone with bpd has FP's.

Not everyone with bpd has every symptom. There are over 200 combinations and people need to stop acting like everyone with bpd has the same experience.