I did a DBT program a few years ago and considered myself fairly prepared to live my life. 

I got into a relationship. For nearly 7 months, I considered our relationship perfect. He was great, I was happy, I didn't feel the need to cling and I wasn't afraid of being abandoned. We were happy. 

That is, until he started applying for post-docs. He studies a very specific niche field and is struggling with his citizenship, so he has been applying to post doc programs all over the fucking world. I have never even left the US, and I'm extremely attached to my parents/family/pets that live here. NO way in HELL am I willing to go somewhere across the world, nor do I think he wants me to. And just like that, I fucking split. 

All of the sudden, I had this 'epiphany'. He has never been a good boyfriend. He has done a few nice things, sure, but he has never been loving towards me. He has taken advantage of me financially and emotionally and physically. He treats me like his maid and his prostitude. He's never affectionate, he never treats me to nice things, and I KNOW that I come in 2nd place to his career and studies. I feel so confused and all of the sudden I have just this insurmountable rage towards him, and yet through it all I can hear my rational mind telling me 'you are just scared you are going to get your heart broken. You're trying to protect yourself and your time, you know this relationship isn't going anywhere and it isn't his fault'. And yet, I still don't want to leave. I can't entirely break myself away from him because I still feel SOMETHING there, all of the good memories we had still exist. I tried to write down all of the positive and negative things about our relationship and it just stressed me out so badly I started having a breakdown. A few days ago I took 2mg diazepam and had a long conversation about our future that helped temporarily but now a few days later I'm feeling awful again and tempted to go back to bad coping mechanisms.

  
Can someone please recommend me some DBT skills as its been awhile and I just need to pull myself out of this emotional state. Thank you...