first I'm sorry for my bad english

I'm not a big fan of me comparing myself to other people, but sometimes I find myself thinking and blaming myself a lot for not being able to be as productive as the people around me or people on the internet.  once in a while I manage to have a productive day, but it's never a productive week or month.
  I can't go out to look for a job, I can't relate to anyone, I study but there are days when I don't have the focus to turn on my computer and I feel very useless, for everyone from a certain perspective it seems SO easy and for me it's a lot of effort .
  Anyway, I wasn't like the middle of last year, but it seems that depression is only getting worse and the only thing left for me is to sink into what's left of my life