Hi all!  Let me paint this scenario for you: I'm hanging out with some coworkers and we're chitchatting about some guy we all mutually know.  The group I'm with talks about how that person is a little weird, off putting, etc. and doesn't seem to know when he isn't wanted.  This person had invited one of the girls in the group I'm with to go to a concert but she's not interested.  I don't know the person very well, but I've seen him interacting with the group and I don't get the same impression about him.  So maybe he's not Mr. Smooth, but I never got a creepy vibe from him.  Also, I don't think he knows that people feel this way about him.

My question is...how the heck is someone supposed to know when they are being "that" person?  That is my BIGGEST fear: that I'm really that creepy, annoying, weirdo chick that just hangs around and doesn't realize that people don't like her and don't want her there.  How would I know that unless someone says it?  Most people are too polite to actually say something and sidestep any requests to hangout with seemingly valid excuses.  So in those scenarios, how do you read the truth?

Or, alternatively, as a BPD person...how do I read that as NOT the truth, meaning I actually am wanted and not the creepy chick?

I guess my thing is that I can engage in all the positive self-talk I want ("You're not weird/awkward/creepy," "They are actually your friends," "You are wanted and people like you," etc.) but what if that's NOT true?  What if I'm saying these things to feel better but it's all a lie?