I feel as if I was put on this rollercoaster called life and it is going full speed and I am absolutely terrified of the ride but even more so reaching the end. So  I want to jump off, but that scares me as well. what am I supposed to do when I am scared to live but too scared to die? 

I tell myself that I will do it eventually, that I will tap out. It serves as a sort of coping mechanism, something to soothe my pain. Maybe in the time I procrastinate I will finally gain the courage to make the final push.

Apologies if this post was all over the place but I needed to air out my thoughts and who knows maybe someone else feels the same way.