I've had a whirlwind of a decade. I'm 33, have always been a bartender (the only time I'm not socially anxious is when I'm working) and I have a borderline toxic family dynamic. My entire family has dealt with addiction of some sort so I'm super anxious to start using any meds. I'm prescribed .5mg Xanax as needed but I'm scared to take it and I usually put it off until I'm spiraling. In December I stopped bartending to start a work from home position for a large payment processing company in January. I thought the good benefits would outweigh the terrible work environment and being berated by upset customers over the phone. By May I was deeply depressed. Literally not leaving my house for weeks, I'd wake up, churn out the calls until 5pm and curl up on the couch and fall asleep, wake up and do it all over again. I started looking for another job beginning of May and found 2 restaurants next door to eachother that would work with the other to get me scheduled full time. I was finally coming out of my anxiety ridden depressive state. On Father's Day weekend, I got covid and was super sick for about a week. I was supposed to go back to work Friday, 6/24. Then the night of 6/23, the restaurants caught on fire and due to the 3 alarm nature of the fire, both are completely out of commission. I got the text from management the morning I was supposed to return. They're trying to find us shifts at other locations and doing their best but I hate starting over. A lot of my anxiety/depression/PTSD stems from a terribly abusive relationship when I was 19. I just feel like I'm mumbling at this point but I needed to vent and get it out. Has anybody dealt with similar series of unfortunate events? I feel like I'm constantly having a rug pulled out from underneath my feet. I have an appointment with my PCP to discuss Zoloft on Monday but I'm nervous it will make me into a zombie. I have a scary high heart rate at least 6 days a week, I doze off randomly at night and wake up in a panic every single night if I don't literally put myself to bed. If I doze off sitting up in bed watching TV, I wake up with a panic attack an hour later.  I'm just scared and lost and don't know why I'm like this. I think catastrophically, not logically and always think worst case scenario. Please help or give some advice.