I (f20) feel like I struggle to do things for my s/o(m28). Ex-doing laundry, throwing things away around the house, going out to do errands on my own, figuring out how to do things on my own, giving him space.  These are all things he’s said I need to work on, but I don’t know how to make myself do them. Him threatening to leave doesn’t work, him saying “good job, I’m proud” doesn’t work, even making a chore/sticker chart isn’t working too well either. I WANT to make him happy, I want the relationship. He is very independent and states he doesn’t really want me to do stuff for him like gifts/favors, he mainly wants me to be more independent. 

He’s told me he feels more like a caregiver than a boyfriend and it gives him a ton of stress and I can agree with that statement, even though I don’t want it to be that way. 

I know all those habits came from my past of my family neglecting me and never teaching/making me do things around the house, or house chores never getting done at all by anyone. 

What would you recommend we/I try?