I love women, and they just don't seem to love me i have ever really only had one relationship, and it was toxic. I was really BPD, and she was extremely uncaring even using the BPD against me when she was upset. I'm pretty socially isolated, and it's really tough. I don't want to live like this, but it seems like I'm forced to, and I find happiness in whatever I can but what's the point? I can be happy for a day, a week, or a month, and eventually I'll be right back here suicidally lonely. I don't understand how people can have parties or wedding, and there friends want to come see them. It's frustrating, and I hate having BPD. I hate being alive.