Sorry this might be a bit long. I've been a very anxious person since I was a kid. Everything from skipping school because I had to give a presentation to now not being able to find a job (now 22) because I'm too scared to answer any phone calls or go to a job interview. I have social anxiety and generalized anxiety, I've also developed anxiety around my health which leads to some paranoia. 

Basically the reason why I'm considering starting medication for my anxiety is that it is REALLY getting in the way of me living my life. I barely leave my house because I'm afraid to be outside alone (I'm fine if I'm with family). Also because I ALSO suffer from derealization syndrome which is made worse with my anxiety. I've contacted my state human services department to help me find work BUT I've been struggling because I can barely leave my own home currently (they don't know that), haven't been answering phone calls back from employers (only 2) and in general been very stressed about the whole process of finding work.

I DO WANT TO WORK. I am just VERY anxious about everything involved in finding and managing work. My anxiety feels like a handicap...

So I'm wondering if medication could help.. I've taken alot of medications in the past (antidepressants/antipsychotics) but also am iffy about medications because reading all the side effects makes me paranoid. I mean, my doctor recently had started me on lamotrigine to try and treat the derealization (hasn't done anything) and I almost threw up the first time I took it because I was convinced it would me me throw up (since that was one of the side and I also have a fear of throwing up)...so I struggle each time I have to take a new medication because the side effects freak me out...

But this would be worth it to me, if the medication could actually help me out. I very much want to be more independent and stuff like that, and I need to be able to work and do other things that my anxiety stops me from doing. I do NOT want to take heavy medications or ones that might be addictive.