I recently started university and move out of my parents house and I found out from the university therapist that I have bpd. I didn't take the news very well and began drinking heavily for the last two weeks all of the friends I made had to take care of me because I was so drunk. Everytime I get sober I get intense panic attacks wherever I go and I feel like I can't speak or breathe. The counselor said that next appointment I can get is in 2 more weeks and I don't know how exactly I will be able to get through this time without alcohol because I have also been having intense suicidal thoughts and I have been self-harming a little but as much as I did in the past. I know that I need to be better but rn I feel like I can't and the anxiety is so bad that I just feel stuck.