I(18F) recently started my first relationship, probably 3-4 months ago. It is with a boy who I've had an online friendship and romantic relationship with for about 2 years. I quickly moved in with him. I barely see my family, I don't even answer calls. Every moment of my life is spent trying to get back to SO or with my SO. When I'm not with him, I have terrible bouts of crying and anxiety. I panic and become severely depressed. When he goes somewhere without me, I cry and cry and cry. I haven't let him see me cry though because I don't want to guilt him into staying with me, because he will just hate me for it eventually. Even with him, I often have panic attacks regarding him cheating on me. I sit there quietly and say nothing that could hint at my chaotic mental state. The anxiety builds up to the point that I'm physically sick, but when I throw up I just tell him I don't feel well. I feel like I'm drowning and I can't say anything. I can't bring up my irrational cheating fears, he could get upset that I'm accusing him. I just don't know what to do anymore.