But I'm really fucking tired. I'm doing 135% of the house stuff because my wife might have MS or something, I'm taking care of the kids, running the farm, working 30hrs a week. 

I sleep maybe 5 hours a night. I'm fucking exhausted. I'm kidneys deep in vodka shots most afternoons, and I desperately wish I had amphetamines because at least I wouldn't be passing in and out of consciousness on the way to work but here we are. 

I'm a rock solid worker, a bad motherfucker, and a good family man but I'm *dying* waiting for my wife's disability to settle.