I got diagnosed with ADHD last year after a lifetime of confusion, self-doubt and wondering wtf was wrong with me.

I noticed recently that my mood swings were getting too  frequent and that I started abusing recreational drugs to numb down my brain.

I started looking into it and when I found out that I may have BPD, I was both relieved and devastated. It all made sense, the way I get too clingy with people, the sudden outbursts, the mental breakdowns followed by watching Friends and forgetting it all happened. 

But damn is it too much to live with, I don't have any real  relationship with anyone, no friends, no family, not even myself, I never felt true loneliness in my life, and it fucking hurts.

Is there anyone with the same conditions? How do you live with it? I'm 20 btw.