I want to! Not because I feel *sexually* frustrated, but I just wish I could just be normal and enjoy sex with my boyfriend. I love him so fucking much. I truly believe he is the best man that has ever entered my life. I think about him all the time, I don’t feel as comfortable around anyone the way I feel with him. He radiates so much love and he just glows with this gentle care that blows my mind. 

I haven’t been able to have sex in weeks. He doesn’t bother me for it, but I know he has a much higher libido than me. He never presses and he understands. He reminds me not to beat myself up for it because he’s with me for the person that I am through and through and that sex isn’t the most important thing.

I sometimes find myself wanting to just sleep with some rando. I never would, because I care for my boyfriend too much, and also I lack the prowess even if I tried. Maybe it’s something about being unknown and I guess in that way protected. My boyfriends knows me, he’s seen me in times of vulnerability. I’m scared that I’ve idealized my boyfriend to being this caring loving figure, that even though I find him attractive, I suddenly can’t have sex with him. Because of that idea. I want to. He’s someone I love romantically and so fucking deeply and I wish I could get myself to have sex like normal couples do.

I’ll have sudden impulses do have sex and suddenly half way through it’s gone. Like the pleasure receptors in my brain were suddenly overwhelmed and I completely tip over to the other end of repulsion. 

Does anyone else relate?? 