Recently, I started taking Escitalopram or Lexapro to treat my depression and anxiety. This was the first medication I've ever taken for anything concerning my mental illness. I was warned that the mediciation could cause side effects that made things worse but that it only happened in rare cases. Before I started the medication, my depression was moderate. I often thought about suicide but I had never gotten too close to an actual attempt. I was depressed frequently but I also had a few good days here and there. It's also important to know that my depression was not the kind that made it extremely difficult to get up in the morning. I was usually able to get up in the morning and go to school I just often was consumed by negative thoughts constantly. Okay, now on to the medicine. My doctor said it would probably take 4 weeks for the medicine to work at all and that even then we may have to up the dosage. I started taking the medicine and about a week in things got really bad really fast. For the first time ever, my depression got so bad that I couldn't wake up in the morning. I would stuggle to even sit up in my bed. If I did get up, I usually showered and then went back to my bed. I would call my mom and tell her I felt sick and couldn't go to school. If I made it to school, I was late and never focused on what we were doing. Then, I stopped eating and drinking. By about 2 days after the bad side effects started, I had decided I was going to kill myself through dehydration. I didn't eat for almost a week and I didn't drink anything for 3 days. Luckily for me, I have an amazing friend who knew everything that was going on and though I hated him for it at the time, he told my most trusted adults at my school what was going on. They got me food and water and I had to call my mom and tell her the medication was making me extremely suicidal and then I stopped taking the medication. Things got a lot better after that for a couple days. I felt 100% better, even better than I did before I was taking the medication but then after a few days I slumped back to where I was pre-medication. Due to the quarantine situation, I haven't been able to go to the doctor to try new medication which sucks. Basically, I shared this story because I want to know about other people's experiences with this medication or other medications for depression and anxiety.