I do not know how to gauge what is normal for me anymore. Hypomania feels like the "old me", and I never know when i'm feeling hypomanic (despite knowing the signs/symptoms) because it finally feels like the old me and that i'm out of the depression!! life is great!! and then the depression is easily recognizable. 

Thursday I got bumped up from 150 mg lamotrigine to 200mg after severely worsening depression and constant suicidal thoughts and now I feel like I've flipped a switch and I'm excited and happy and sociable and did some cleaning today and decided to make a bunch of food to freeze (chicken dumplings!!) to be able to heat up when i'm depressed and unable to cook. Basically how i felt like before my depressive episode. Maybe a bit more hypersexual now. I feel awake and restless, but I don't know how to delineate that from my ADHD. 

I'm not on a mood stabilizer, so I *might* be hypomanic again? The most i do when i've been hypomanic in the past is maybe spend a bit too much on new art projects i pick up on a whim and clean my entire apartment and cook and actually study but i feel productive! Right now this feels like such a good place to be after how debilitating that depressive episode was and how suicidal i felt

Anyway, I really don't know who i am anymore. I don't know what's baseline "normal", because hypomania always has felt like "me", and unless I'm hypomanic, my mind immediately thinks i'm depressed and that it's not the normal "me"

Does anyone feel similarly? How have y'all been able to tell the difference between what's normal you and what's hypomanic?  I need some advice or direction, I'm really struggling here, please help