I’m sometimes really upset with myself when I sit down and think about all the things I’ve done. I’m somewhat out of control and I lie to myself that I’m not for my own sanity.

I change jobs all the time; I steal from my work too. Now I have to find a new job before they catch on to me. 

I split on people like crazy; I lie to myself that those people never existed so therefore I don’t feel any feelings for that person at all, because they don’t exist anymore to me. 

I can be a crazy girlfriend over anything, I am so untrusting. It’s terrifies me the reactions I put out there because of how insecure I am, it will leave me abandoned eventually if I keep it up.

I’m just so immature, I rely on my parents for everything. I’m 24 years old. I don’t pay one bill. I don’t have a career going for me. What the fuck am I doing? But thinking about getting my shit together is too much. I rather obsess about my boyfriend or something. I am not disciplined. I’m so sick of myself. I wish I was normal. I wish I could take stress like a normal person..

What the fuck do I do? How do I get away from who I am and change?