 

Yeah I know I am a fuck up. I know I am not as good as you. I know I'm weak. I know you were angry because I'm slow and weak. But, I'm trying so hard. I'm trying so damn hard to become a better person. To not feel the anxiety and depression I always feel. To not be an insecure loser who seeks for validation. But I'm trying so hard. I wish someone could tell me that I'm doing really good. That I am doing my best.

I don't know what to do. I was always the person who gave advice to people. But this depression and self doubt never stops. I hate myself always. I wish I were someone else. But the worse thing is, is that I know my flaws. I acknowledge them but the more I acknowledge them, I hate myself more and more. I thought I changed. I thought I was better. But, the feeling always comes back. Makes me wonder if I'll be feeling this way for the rest of my life.

What can I do to help myself? I want to improve. But I feel like I don't. I want therapy but got no money.

So I'm just wondering if there are people like me and could share some advice.

Thank you.