panick Attacks/ crippling sadness and loneliness Attacks

no one wants anything to do w me when i’m having my breakdowns. no one wants to support me or help me when my feelings reach that level of intensity. it just re enforces the reason these breakdowns are so debilitating. the emotions that cause it are absolutely unmanageable or overwhelmingly too intense to resolve. so much so that even the people around me and the ones closest who promised to always try and to help can’t do it. they can’t handle me. they literally will ask me to stop or not to do it at such inconvenient times, or too much in one day. and i agree with them. especially since it’s the reality i’m living so i understand because it’s too much for me. i’m sorry i’m in the middle of a moment and i’m trying really hard not to be impulsive. not too hurt myself. i don’t want to do the wrong thing, cause more hurt. but my significant other just kinda told me please don’t do this we have to sleep because work in the morning. and now he’s sleeping and i’m still freaking out and i feel worse because it pissed him off/irritated him/was too much to handle/ annoyed him. and it just confirmed the feelings i already had of being so alone and no one understanding. or if they do it just hurts them to much to comprehend. and i really do not have anyone to talk to rn