do you ever feel like no matter what you do, you’re the wrong person. 

like if you have an opinion you’re wrong for having it and no one will listen to you. and the more you try to explain it they keep not listening to you, and then you get upset and hurt, because people are telling you you take forever to get to your point, and so you get more upset and then you’re emotional, so then they tell you you’re too emotional, and you just feel like the whole world around you thinks you’re the worst 

and it happens with all the people around you and it has happened with different people over the years over and over so you begin to realize you must be just like…the worst. you’re the common denominator and you’re finally seeing it. which is devastating. but sort of freeing. because now you don’t have to be angry with anyone else any more. just yourself. because you are wrong. because you always have been and you always will and your people love you but they would be better without you here, really and truly. so now you can finally leave. 

and that’s makes you want to smash your phone with a hammer and pull out the tiny amount of cash you can and just drive away and disappear for however long. 

maybe forever and start a new life or maybe you’ll just like die accidentally somewhere a long the way but that would be fine because you’re too scared to kill your self anyways. 

i feel as though no one in my world understands me. or if they do they still find me a burden. i want to run away right now so bad. and then i’m mad at myself for being so damn dramatic and predictable. i wish i wasn’t so afraid of dying—this would be a lot easier bc i really can’t imagine what the point is if me being here any longer. 

i don’t want to be around any one that i love, or anyone that “loves” me, if they even do love me. at least this isolation will keep me away from drugs. i don’t know how to get out of my bed