Hello. I've been dealing generalised anxiety disorder for eleven years by now. Since 2016 I've been taking paroxetine (in liquid form, 10ml/2mg per day, because I'm also autistic and I simply cannot handle pills), which really helped take the edge off. I used to have daily fits of anxiety and regular panic attacks, but thanks to the meds I'd only have anxiety if there was a """"genuine"""" reason for it and essentially no more full-blown panic attacks. For the past seven years I've been able to manage my anxiety thanks to these meds.

But then. Three weeks ago, my chemist informed me that they couldn't get liquid paroxetine anywhere any more. They'd considered all possible avenues, but they simply couldn't find it any more. This naturally led to a lot of stress, and after speaking with my psychiatrist, we decided to switch over to liquid citalopram with the same dosage. Unfortunately, it meant I had to quit paroxetine cold-turkey and simultaneously start getting used to a new SSRI. The first two weeks went... well? Well enough, anyway. Other than dizziness and flu-ishness, nothing much really happened... until last Wednesday, when I experienced the first full panic attack in six or seven years, keeping me up all night because I didn't know how to calm down any more.

My psychiatrist tells me that I'm at the stage where the paroxetine is no longer protecting me against anxiety, and the citalopram is not yet fully in effect yet, so it can't quite compensate. 

I'd really taken the paroxetine for granted, and I have crying fits every day where all I can wish for is to have my old "protection" back... I dread the night and by day I struggle to eat because my anxiety is always looming. I'm absolutely terrified that the citalopram won't help, or that the anxiety will be stronger than I can handle even with renewed protection. ;\_;

My GP did prescribe me a benzodiazepine to help me sleep if the anxiety keeps being so bad, but I'm really reluctant to take it, because I hear how dangerously addictive that stuff can be... 

Things *are* getting a little better each day. I've only had one panic attack after that first big one - also at night - and I could calm down much better by grabbing a book and simply reading until I could fall back asleep again. But I'm just... really struggling with this. I'm devastated, and so scared this will be my new reality... 

I could really use some reassurance... ;;\_;;