the only time i ever feel at ease is when i’m high. i just want to feel truely relaxed, without any help from weed or alcohol or anything like that. i’ve tried tea (lots of it), i’ve tried hot water bottles, reading, watching shows i like, shutting my phone off for a day, but none of this seems to work. i’ve been on edge every single day since i can remember. i just want that warm, happy feeling of being relaxed while doing something i love. i wish that wasn’t too much to ask for, but it honestly is.