I’m glad I’ve found this community. I believe most people don’t understand what is like to live with BPD unless you have it. Most of my relationships have been unstable. Every minute I think they’re gonna leave even though they try to make me feel they won’t. I’ve been going to therapy for a couple of years now but I’ve always stopped going. At least I haven’t stopped this year. I’m in a relationship with someone I love deeply. We’ve known each other for 4 years and started dating for more than a year now. Still, I’m scared that he meets the other side of me where I self-sabotage. I’ve given him the best part of me but I’m scared that one day that bad part of my personality wins. Having BPD is frustrating and I feel that I don’t make most of the choices in my life. Like everything I do is based on my disorder.