It's really hard for me to work 40 hours because of my mental illnesses. I've been doing my best but I rarely ever have disposable income. My boyfriend and I have been together five months and he just moved in and he's always buying me food....alcohol....vape juice. If I wake up overwhelmed and can't go to work he offers me money for lunch. Yesterday he brought home hibachi and bought pokemon snap...a game I've been wanting for months. A few weeks ago he brought home 10 Steven universe comics after a small argument. 

I just feel overwhelmed being treated so good by someone and also feel like a failure. Idk why but I always feel like I should be the breadwinner. I should be the one taking care of my partner even tho I'm a female. Maybe I have mommy issues idk lol but it's heavy. My mom tells me he's a good guy and I should just enjoy it but I wish I could do more for him. I make promises all the time like oh yeah I'll work tomorrow and buy us both vape juice or yeah on our day off I'll pay for dinner and at the time I do truly mean this 100% but something always happens or I have a breakdown and miss out on money.

I love this man alot but I just feel weak and that I don't deserve him.