Hello, I am in a discord server for LGBTQ people with mental health issues that my friend is also in (for context I have been in this server much longer, but that shouldn’t matter much as we should both have equal belonging in this server), and both my friend and I view this server as a safe space for us, but I feel another friend of mine that this friend also knows and likes could really benefit from the server. And I really miss being in a server with this friend. 

 I asked my friend if they would be okay with me inviting the mutual friend to the server since we both see the server as a safe space and they said they wouldn’t want that which made me pretty disappointed. It makes me uncomfortable I can’t invite my friend to a public server and I can’t even tell my friend that without triggering their quiet BPD. Am I being unreasonable? 

I understand the server is their safe place too, however I feel the server is my place too and I feel that I should be able to at least communicate my feelings to them and I feel like I’m unable to do that because every time I try to do something like that I trigger their BPD and I don’t know how to not do that. Any tips for communicating to my friend in order to not trigger their quiet BPD so bad or at all?