No one in my life knows how bad it *really* is. And it's really bad today.

I'm feeling so low that my stomach hurts. This isn't the first day I've burst into tears out of nowhere. At least my stomach kind of feels better after crying...

But I can't tell anyone. It feels shameful. I never used to see my depression as shameful, it just kind of existed and I was open about it. But now... I don't know. Half of the people in my life are calling me lazy, and the other half are asking why I hadn't applied for disability sooner (depression, anxiety, and epilepsy are all teaming up to make me the least functional adult I could've imagined).

I just feel like I'm stuck in a bad place and I can't see the light ahead of me anymore.