And I'm so ashamed that I feel vastly improved today. Singing along to music on my commute, chatting with coworkers over coffee, mentally preparing a story about one of my two cats scratching me to explain the band-aids and almost believing it myself.

I also very much look like I had a mental break last night, and I feel like my coworkers just know I sobbed until my throat was raw and berated myself aloud in front of my mirror for hours until I could hardly keep my swollen eyes open. 😅 Then I self-harmed and carried on with my night feeling so relieved and so much lighter, as if none of that happened. I'm scared.