trigger warnings: suic/dal thoughts + s/lf harm


Hello i have posted on here way to many times since diagnosed with cyclothymia because i am not stable. Im really not. I know its not as bad as pretty much what EVERYONE on here has gone through, but im struggling and i am pleading for some help.

7:30: extremely happy, inflated ego, my problems are bigger than everyone elses, fuck i love life and im gonna be a lawyer. FUCK YES.

7:40: semi happy, inflated ego, EXTREME irritabilty to the point i had to go to my room instead of banging my head of the wall.

7:50: so utterly defeated, suicidal thoughts, when will this suffering end.

I have texted my therapist and tried to talk to my boyfriend but nothing helps. I havent been taught any tips to cope with this. I may be having a tablet change next week but god i feel so utterly trapped.

I dont understand, i was so happy. I had no anxiety, i thought i was going to sort my life out and get a job

But im now curled up in bed , the suicidal thoughts come in waves but im currently just so sad, my chest feels empty , my life seems so fucking WORTHLESS.

If anyone has any tips for me to make the night without s-lfharm or worse, please help. Im desperate.