I just really need someone to talk to. I've had a really bad couple of weeks with the depressive parts of my BPD getting worse due to it being the university exam period. 

My boyfriend knows I have BPD and suffer because of it, and he usually sympathises because he also has serious mental health issues. But tonight we were talking online and things got out of hand because I've been feeling so stressed and sad recently. I pushed him away a bit because I felt like such a burden, but we eventually managed to reconcile for the most part. 

But then I told him I'd been having pretty bad suicidal thoughts today (I'm not going to act on them, but it's the worse I've felt in ages), and he basically said nothing for ten minutes, then said he was going to play video games with his friends and stopped talking to me. 

I can't count the number of times I've dropped everything to talk to him for hours when he's feeling depressed, or anxious, or having a panic attack, and this isn't the first time he's left in the middle of an important conversation. 

I just feel incredibly hurt and sad and even more depressed than before. I feel like he doesn't even care about me anymore. 