Just a disclaimer before I am explaining what is going on:  
I really love my wife and I know that depression is affecting your ability to function like a normal person on a daily life where things like doing chores feels like mountain to overcome.   


Reason why I am asking for advice is because I've really reached my limit and I can't take care of two people (her and me) at the same time and it exhausted me to the point that it affects my mental health.  


To start off and without giving much details about our private lives:  
My wife had a rough childhood, her older siblings forced her to do all the chores around he house like a maid, her mother suffered from breast cancer (than brain cancer) and passed away when she was an older teen, her father left the family when she was still very young because of the constat conflicts her family had and still have to this day.  
She is basically all alone and the only person left to help her in need is her older sister.  


We moved away from my parents house because of the toxic relationship I've had with my father and we live ever since in a very small apartment.  


The main issue I have with my wife is her depression affecting her taking responsibility we all have to in this society we're living. She is the sweetest wife I've known, I really love the craftmanship she can make herself, I really love her when she is caring, when we laugh, when we play video games together etc.  


But in the recent years, her mental health becomes worse and worse with no sign of improvement. She takes her same anti depressant since almost 3 years and confirmed to me she is afraid to stop taking them.  


She is unable to do chores, sleeps all day and wakes up at noon, plays video games or is making some keychains, plushies, cooks when she remembers she is hungry. That's mostly her basic routine.  
Before Covid, around June 2019, she quit her half time job in order to open her own sewing shop despite we had no financial means to do that and she informed that she quit at the same day she gave her resignation (she told me few weeks ago she planned to quit but I begged her to do that when we had enough money on the side so we would be better prepared)  


Ever since than, I had to micromanage our finance to pay for food, bill, rent and everything else. Her sewing shop didn't start off good since we had literally no money on our bank account to kickstart her project and ever since than, she had only around a dozen customers from people she knows personally.

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Another thing that really bothers me are the chores, as I type this, they are dirty clothes, dishes, trash, dust, pets cage hasn't been cleaned properly for months and random stuff around our apartment scattered around in every direction.  


I really try my best to do the chores to help her out but working full time and arriving exhausted at home, I don't have much time and energy to do all the chores. We had already many arguments about this and I always get blamed that I am lazy and do nothing as well (like her) despite I am the only of us two who has a steady income else we would be homeless by now. I want to help her doing the chores but she always want to do it when I am there. I understand her that she feels more motivated if I am there but I've tried explaining to her many times that I can't be there for her 24h/24h and that she has to try her best to do sth on her own.  


I have to constantly remind her that they are dirty dishes sitting for 3 days, if our pets are fed, if we have clean clothes etc and she complains every time to me why I am repeating myself (it's because it's the same vicious cycle repeating)  


Same goes for searching help, therapy and other things, she always waits for me to do sth for her. I have to call for her to assign appointments to a psychologue, therapy, paperwork etc.   


She tells me she can't do it on her own but even her own Psychiatrist and Therapist told her after years of help that they can't do much if she herself doesn't do sth to improve herself.  


Basically she wants other people help her to walk on her own path but we can't because it hers not ours (it's really hard to explain it in words). She still hasn't figured out how to live with her depression and is constantly fighting it, calling it "her monster" that she wants to get rid off despite me trying explaining her that she has to learn to live with and not against it because that monster it's herself, it's her own mind not being well telling her lies that she is not worth it and has to give up.

I basically have the feeling that I have to babysit her or that I have to live as 2 person at the same time.  


We had many talks but every time we talk about existential topics like getting a job, money, cleaning the house not to get sick etc she gets mad, frustrated and other negative emotions that she ends up getting aggressive.  


I am aware that I am giving her to much pressure and that I am impatient, but time passes and we are just getting older and older (we're in our early 30s and have been together since almost 10 years).  


Everything is way to much for me and already suffered from Burnout since last year and I am at my end.  
I don't want to divorce with her, because I am aware of the problems we both have.  


I really just need some advice on how to improve our lives in order that we both have a nice clean apartment that's also kept that way, how do I motivate her to do sth on her own without me her constantly reminding her to empty the trash bin when it's overflowing with thrash on the side or clean the sink if it's stinks like rotten flesh.

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I really love her and I wouldn't never leave her alone, she is aware that she has a mental problem but she relies way to much on me to help her despite I myself struggle with my own mental problems and exhaustion.  


If some things might be confusing to you, that may be because I wrote this in the middle of the night and I am just so tired right now.  
My only wish before I finish this thread is for my wife and me to be happy and a functional couple that manages to keep at least, AT LEAST their own apartment clean and tidied.