hi, I will start with the fact that im currently having a little mental breakdown which will definetly influence the comprehensiveness of my post so soz about that. Anyways I dont remember the last time i was happy, I have terrible social anxiety caused by severe body dysmorphia (my head is really long and my head side looks atrocious)that i dont know if i can even get rid of ( which i think is pretty much true). Recently we had our classes merge and 10 new people arrived in our class, i tried talking to them saying hi or interacting with them whatsoever but they never respond and i only get to hear shittalking behind my back. Another thing is me ahving no self-confidence at all, and while my grades are good, i still feel really stupid because i cant talk about like anything (which translates into feelings of inferiority and stuff idk). Esentially im just extremely depressed, socially anxious and have self confidence issues, and body dysmorphia on top of that, basically the whole package. and i cant help to think most of it is true and its been killing me inside for at least 5 years, which fucked up my development as a person. There are other issues on top of that and i just feel so helpless

this is a thing i added later but i thought it might be impotant is that my parents dislike me alot. Mom thinks everything i do is filled with some sort of rage and gets angry at me for that (im EXTREMELY confused because what the fuck??? im not doing anything like that!) and her partner is geniuenly a total asshole that tries his hardest to ruin my life even more and at one point basically told me to off myself. so yeah Cheers!