A friend of mine who has dealt with severe anxiety his entire life is going through a really difficult time and, as a result, has had visibly heightened anxiety for a few months now. He’s withdrawn quite a bit from most of his close friendships, is often defensive and irritable, and seems generally suspicious and distrustful. 

The thing that I’m having trouble with is that he seems completely unaware that his behavior has changed…and the change has been *extreme*. I’m just not sure how to approach it. I’ve tried discussing it a few times but just suggesting that he’s acting differently causes the conversation to abruptly end. He accuses other people of doing the *exact* same things that he is doing; last time he did this I thought he was joking because the irony was so clear…to me. 

And more recently, he’s begun “gaslighting” (I use quotes because I honestly cannot tell if it’s intentional or if he’s erasing his own memories). He will frequently backtrack on things he said even just a few days ago. When confronted he’ll either deny it or occasionally blame alcohol. 

I’m rather severely anxious myself, so I completely understand how suffocating the feeling can be, and that it can make it difficult to think and remember clearly. His anxiety is at least partly triggered by his job too, so I imagine it must be nearly constant. I don’t know how to approach the subject with them, or if I even should. They’re mistreating their friends for sure, which is enough justification to bring it up. I’m worried about the gaslighting…he’s either lying or he doesn’t remember, and I don’t know how to respond to either. 

I’m worried about him. He keeps all of his thoughts and feelings obscured for as long as he can. In this post I might have painted his actions as malicious out of frustration, but I didn’t really mean to. In general, for any negative description I gave of him, the exact opposite was true just six months ago.