i keep saying hurtful things to people i love. i don't really have anyone to talk to and this person i really care about has just been ignoring me and i have horrible abandonment issues. i just sent this big ass wall of text because i was worried sick and mad at her pretty much saying you don't just ignore people you care about and she gets back to me today and says she has been trying to get into a hospital because she hasn't been feeling well mentally and i just feel like shit. i made her so upset and i didn't really mean a thing i said but i just haven't felt in control of myself. she should have at least said something but she didn't deserve that stupid wall of text. i just feel insane and i need help. she probably thinks i'm crazy now. i probably am crazy but i just care about her so much and i feel like shit and i really hope i didn't push her away. she told me she needed to be alone for a bit and i want to talk to her and work things out but that would make me seem even more crazy so i guess i'll give her some space. i don't know what to do anymore