I was arrested for a horrific falling out that I had with a former therapist. Pushing and pulling until she got sick of me, and I couldn’t handle it. I hurt her very deeply, mentally and emotionally, all because of how self-absorbed I was in hurting, isolating, torturing, and hating myself. I was in jail for 3 weeks, out for a month, then contacted her because I felt overwhelmingly ashamed, apologetic, remorseful, and suicidal. This got me in jail for 3 months. I’ve been out for the past month, practicing being able to catch and watch my emotions, realizing everything is impermanent, and it’s been really calm. I don’t need to cling to pleasure or fight off pain. I don’t feel like the world is so dangerous anymore. I’ve realized that we all have more in common than we think, we are all human. I am hoping that finally being paired with my probation officer tomorrow won’t be too triggering. I’m expecting them to probe into me and my situation, seeing me as a “criminal” and I’ll feel like a bad person... I’ll be okay. I’m just scared of them. I’m scared of being judged and talked to like I’m a crazy monster. I’ll be okay.