I kind of am at loss for words on how to describe the year for myself. Constant leg tingling for almost 11.5 months. Everyday I wish this can go away and I pray for someone to give me one last attempt to live my life as a normal being, but I think I am so far gone. The neurological symptoms I have had these several months drove me to be bedridden for months because I was glued to my computer, going through every inch of reddit looking for validation of my symptoms. Everyday since March, the tingling has been 24/7. Everyday I convinced myself I had peripheral neuropathy. And when I say convinced, I was certainly convinced. I went through reddit so many times I began knowing what different profile users said on their post histories. But that amount of paranoia is what got me to a neurologist and EMG/NCS so fast. My EMG ruled out any sorta mono, poly, peripheral neuropathies. But I still wasnt convinced because an unexplained minor abnormality wasnt explained to me and I was convinced it was something insidious. The one thing that made me so confused was why its starting in my ankles, and not my feet like typical neuropathies. The stress in me was so high, the tingling was in my arms, my head started having head pressure. Started feeling like I was going to pass out, face tingling, eye twitching, sometimes genital tingles. I havent had more than 4 hours of sleep in over 6 months. Eventually I listened to my doctor and got counseling. The facial tingling and head pressure went down a lot after reducing stress after 2months. The arm tingling went away after using a night brace every month. Leg tingling persisted and waxed and waned throughout the day. Eventually I stopped because my counselor said "I have never seen someone with these symptoms so continuously". I was convinced again I had peripheral neuropathy and it wasnt anxiety, especially since the symptoms never let up and I just kept panicking. I began having burning sensations in my legs and began having to wear pants everyday. Now I sometimes am having a weird spot in my upper back that feels weird against my clothing, I have occasional hot flashes and my feet sometimes vibrated after long walks.

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Fortunately, last week, my physical exam recently was normal, neurological exam is normal, and my EMG/NCS from months before was apparently normal and the abnormal finding was actually super minor and couldnt indicate anything. An orthopedic doctor ruled out seeing anything obviously wrong. My worst fear that is left is small fiber neuropathy which cant be found on EMG/NCS. Its progressive, its expensive to diagnosis, its atypical in presentation many times and its relatively rare compared to peripheral neuropathy. I told my doctor that I was exhausted and just wanted meds which I began but haven't felt relief.

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I KNOW I have SFN. I know I do because its all that is left. I know the cause. I cant run away from my past mistakes. I have thought bad things so often looking up things and reading posts that take me to darker places. Im just so scared and frustrated with myself. I cant afford counseling and I need it to be in person. I cant stay off reddit because its the only support system I have. I dont know what more I can do at this point. My life is so doomed and a biopsy is so expensive. WHY DO MY SYMPTOMS PRESENT LIKE THIS, WHY CANT THEY PRESENT NORMALLY. This atypical presentation is what has made me run around this damn hospitals seeking help. Im addicted to finding stories like mine on Reddit. Im just so lost and confused and mentally sick because of these symptoms. It has driven me so mentally insane and I cant tell doctors how much I am mentally suffering because if they diagnose with a mental issue, my medical history from that point forward will continue to get judged (Oh you have this symptom, it must be anxiety). Screw me man, I just one attempt to relive what it was like before all these issues.