I know it's probably not my actual last days but I just feel so fragile. Like if anyone asked me a personal question I'd just immediately breakdown or just kill myself. People tell me I just have to hang on and this will all pass but every year I live things get progressively worse. I've given on asking my parents for therapy or anything because I know it won't work. I feel like at some point or day I'll just get killed somehow and I feel mixed about it. It feels like a relief but in the same time the thought just makes me want to cry.