We have decided on working ourselves and our relationship for better. He was doing outstanding, he was being supportive, listening me, trying to understand my needs and thoughts. I did my best too. But out of nowhere the anger took it over. I tried to explain myself to him for 6 hours, in reality I was just yelling at him and being unreasonable. 

He said we are done. I am so sorry, it was all my fault. My whole existence suffers with guilt. Can't stand with myself. Couldn't stop crying for 30 hours. 

I feel so sad for ruining all of our efforts, hurting him and feeling this way. Called mental support helpline, they told me go out for a walk or write my thoughts down, take a shower. Nothing helps. 

I don't want to lose him, at the same time I don't want to be in his life because I keep hurting him. I am a bad person and a terrible wife. I am 36 and can't even control myself. Pathetic. 

The guilt and pain are nauseating. Please help me. I don't know what to do. Please make the pain go away.