So I’m not in the best mental space at the moment. I’ve got a new friend and I’m doing the thing where you’re not sure if they’re going to stick around so you overthink everything and read into every bit of body language or word they say. I’m really intense at the start of friendships because I constantly seek reassurance. I hate it so much but I can’t stop it because I get worse without it.

Anyway, the new friend I’ve been talking to is a really nice guy and he reassures me every time I need it. But yesterday he sent me a message that was mostly positive but I can’t stop fixating on a few lines.

Here’s the message:

“I genuinely don't mind. I'm happy to listen. tbh I have a lot of friends and family and work stuff and this relationship is more of a time commitment than I expected, but as long as you're patient with me and understanding about other things that draw on my time, I'm happy to try to be a good friend to you. Honestly, I just think you need a few good friends which would make you feel more secure, which would, in turn, enable you to find more good friends. You are a little intense, but I can handle it, and I understand where it's coming from. I think you're in a tough position - you need to communicate so I understand you, but it's a lot to share which would overwhelm and scare people off, which must make it hard to make new meaningful relationships. You certainly seem like a good person. Honestly, I feel like you ask more about me and try to help me, than I do you. I'm always willing to listen and I'd like to be someone you can rely on in that regard.”

I know it’s the most positive response to my intensity that I’ve ever received but I keep fixating on “this relationship is more of a time commitment than I expected” and “you are a little intense”.

Does anyone have any advice on how to stop this. I HATE THIS ILLNESS UGH