We planned a pregnancy because we’re in our 30s now and agreed that we love being parents and want another kid. The other day I noticed she was acting funny, nervous, self-conscious, eyes red. I confronted her about it because I can tell when she’s high (from prior to when we got pregnant). At first she denied it, but eventually fessed up to having (used a weed vape pen). I was shocked and devastated, still am. I haven’t felt this type of crushing depression since I was a teen, if ever. She said it was an impulsive thing and a mistake. NO SHIT! I think about my lineage, my kids’ future, their contribution to the world the way that most religious people find hope in god. How could she put our future son at risk like this for a buzz?.. I feel like my wife killed god. I feel betrayed, trapped, like I failed to choose a good mate. To me, this is worse than if she had cheated, and potentially more permanent. We’ll never know how our son might have been had she not done this. I explained to her all the things that could go wrong for the baby because of this (google scientific peer reviewed articles). We are at the end of the second trimester. 

We’ve had a wonderful marriage up until this point. It’s the happiest I’ve been in my life. I don’t know if I had experienced happiness prior to our relationship. We’ve been together for 12 years, and never fought before this. I don’t know how to find her attractive from an evolutionary perspective after this. We haven’t spoken much since she told me. After work I just sleep. How do I move past this? Should I move past this?

The weed vape pen was mine. I like to chill and game on Friday nights. I don’t drink, keep it locked up and never thought this would happen. (Prior to getting pregnant) she wasn’t really into pot. Doesn’t really even drink. 

Any doctors or professionals out there know what we can expect? Is there a high likelihood that our son will be impaired because of this? She said it was one time. Thanks.

TL;DR: Wife hit a weed vape pen while pregnant. I’m shocked. Feel like she poisoned our (planned pregnancy) baby. Feel hopeless.