I know I’m not the most “beautiful” I hate it when people say I am. I know they are lying. Just be honest. I don’t even care about being the best. However it feels like others see that as important. They think I’m being self deprecating.  I’m not. I just feel like I’m being honest with myself. I’m not as smart as I use to be which use to be my redeeming qualifying. I feel like a failure.