I don't know where it comes from. But some days I'll feel so invisible that I'll fantasise about terrible things happening to me, like getting hit by a car, or falling down some stairs, or breaking a bone or two. And I'll wish so desperately for these things to happen just so I can get some positive attention and affection from people, even if I'm already getting it in the first place. Sometimes, I feel so sexually unwanted by people that I wish someone would just rape me and take whatever from me, all to feel wanted at least a little bit. 

I sprained my ankle a few weeks ago. It still gives me some grief every now and then but it's not quite as severe as I've been making it out to be. I love feeling looked after and cared for. I love being attended to. And it's not that I've been fabricating my pain for attention, but I've certainly been exaggerating it a bit. Does anyone relate to either of these?