Is there anyone here who have the same situation like mine.

I am 4 weeks pregnant and I don’t want to take the risk of having birth defects so I decided to stop my medication with my doctors approval. 

After I got triggered last Sunday, I started to relapse and now i am having episodes of depression and suicidal thoughts. And today is my third day of having fluctuating emotions, I always woke up with panic attacks, then anger, crying and feeling alone and suicidal. 

It all started when i got into argument with my husband when he told me that my baby should die. After that day, i never felt the same i always woke up with palpitations and suicidal thoughts.

Since I don’t really have a strong support system all I really have is my psychotherapist and prayers to help me cope. I feel so exhausted and drained mentally and emotionally and most importantly i feel so alone in this. I still have 36 weeks to go.