I feel like I havent been myself in well over a decade now. Constantly putting on faces for different people so they don't see the me that I'm afraid to show. For my boss and coworkers I'm respectable, stone faced, and casual, I never reveal anything personal, here I'm at my most fake. For family I'm quiet and reserved, for fear of any emotional strain, I tell them nothing. For my friends I play the comedian, making jokes and doing stupid (dangerous) things just so they keep me around. 

I met someone who I came to hold very close, because around her I felt like myself without any masks or disguises. There were two months in a decade where I was "me". Now they're gone, and I'm back to my acts. Feeling like a shell at all times again, and I hate myself for it.