For years now I’ve felt like I’ve been moving without a purpose. I have a vague idea of where I’d like to go in life, but nothing ever set in stone. Im 21 in the military with a little under a year left. My bosses are fucking awful and they all have an agenda against me. Life has been eating away at me. Everyday seems like a chore with minimal happiness to find. The worst of all of it is my romantic life. It’s a fucking joke. Constantly ghosted or stood up and I haven’t been on a date in so long I hardly know how to start conversations anymore. My episodes are coming back from high school of suicidal ideals and I don’t know how to shove them out. They’re becoming more and more frequent, reminding me how easy it would be to just get it over with and never worry about anything ever again.