I have problems with being authentic. I guess this can go in multiple directions but mainly it seems that I almost lie by nature to create an identity for myself. I make things up just so I will have some structure to the idea or concept of myself; so that I can "exist" and so other people can interact with this false existence. I'm well aware this is a self-defense mechanism...

However, I don't want to lie anymore, I want to accept what I am and move forward with authenticity. I would assume these problems are similar to what many of you struggle with as well...i.e... the identity disturbances and utilization of lying to perhaps help us in a strange way... and keeping that in mind I think committing to leading more authentic lives can help both you and I heal. 

In doing so, I'm nearly certain this will posit myself into an existential crisis, one where I have to face alot of hard truths that I've suppressed or distorted in my mind, nevertheless... I think its necessary to do so. Living a life that is not mine is equal to not living at all... and while I struggle with suicide and subsequent thoughts... I want to fight to fight it, even if there is no hope, I want to fight it still. Perhaps this is just a rambling/venting to convince myself of such "truths"... but still I hope you all can live as who you truly are, because you all are worthy of doing so. I would like to start that journey as well and hope I can convince others to join in this pursuit of knowing and living as authentically and truthfully as we can. I hope you all have a good day. 