I am 28 years old and getting married in a few weeks. I don't see myself living past 30. I have lived my life pleasing others at the expense of my own happiness but I am also an abusive piece of shit both verbally and physically. I get abusive because I project my hurt of not being listened to onto her. My fiancee is scared of me and reminds me that I provide no safety. My fiancee has told me I have made her life worse than when I met her and that I am the worst person she's ever met. My family hates me. Her family hates me.  I have no friends, except my psychologist. 

I plan on writing a will to give all my money that I earn and have to my fiancee. At least it's some gift for the pain I cause. 

I have alienated myself from my family, from my friends. I don't deserve any pity, I deserve to just not be in anyone's life.

I see 3 possible paths for my life.

1.  I end up in a psych ward, 
2. I end up in prison, 
3. Commit suicide.

I plan to commit suicide a week after my wedding date of August 13th. Our planned honeymoon can be given to someone who will make her feel more special.