My FP (who isn’t good for me and pretty much views me as a last resort) wanted to hang out tonight but I declined because I knew it would only hurt me in the long run.

My emotions about my decision have been bouncing back and forth every few minutes between relieved with my choice to a full blown panic attack/depressive episode thinking I made the worst decision of my life that I will regret forever. I can’t take this rollercoaster of emotion much longer, it makes no sense how a decision so logical can bring me so much pain when a normal person wouldn’t even be affected. These emotion changes happen so fast I can barely keep up and it’s so draining.