It's too much. I think I'm finally at my limit. I'm at my limit with not sleeping well the past week. Nightmares every night, waking up every few hours, feeling more exhausted as the week progresses. I'm ashamed. I over posted on a different social media the last few days. My favorite person who has told me they are overwhelmed with me before, is probably getting overwhelmed with me posting so much. 

Plus I friended three hundred people in a manic state. Including people I don't even know. Everyday I'm depressed or unbearably manic. I eat right, I exercise, I stay busy and productive. It isn't enough. I'm done posting on social media then feeling ashamed about it afterwards. I'm done with trying to hang out with a lot of people in real life. I can't relax. No matter what I'm extremely anxious, on edge, or sad. I just want to be left alone. I can't believe I tried to reach out to people. This is one of the most extreme things I've done in a manic episode. Friended so many people in a short amount of time. 

I feel like I can't function. None of my relationships feels stable. I have a lot of anxiety from the trauma I went through in all my relationships. I don't feel like there's anyone I can really lean on emotionally. My friend tells me I can, but I either say to little or too much. And I've overwhelmed them before. I'm excommunicating myself with most of my friends except one or two people, I'm disappearing from social media, I'm done. I can't believe I didn't see that I straight up lost it weeks ago. I'm obviously manic while in denial most of the time. I'm heart broken. 

It's time for me to go. I'm not going hurt myself. I'm just going to go away. I can't do it anymore.