I am so proud of myself and wanted to share.

I didnt take my bp2 medication the other night because I need to take it with 350 kcals and couldn't get myself to eat. I took it with food the following morning before remembering the reason I switched to nights is because it gives me awful anxiety attacks if I stay awake after (latuda/lamictal). That and reprocessing trauma from my 4th Step in a twelve step program was a recipe for disaster apparently. 

Cue 45 minutes into my (super easy-going) night shift and the chest pains and dizziness starts coming on strong. After about 30 minutes of not knowing what to do and all of my support systems being asleep because it's the middle of the night, and I remembered how to COPE. 

I went to the bathroom and shook my limbs and jumped around to get the adrenalin out. I ran freezing cold water on my arms and dipped my fingertips in ice water at my desk. I turned on Dreamworks' Madagascar 2 for some easy watching and after that did a 10 minute meditation and holy shit I actually self soothed and felt better! 

It took about 2.5 hours for me to come back to a state of calm but I'm so proud of myself for using coping skills instead of just losing my mind all night or going home "sick"

I'm always hesitant to use my healthy coping skills because in the moment I feel like "nothing will help me" and freeze. Awesome win for me yesterday :)