I’m so depressed and I’m afraid it will destroy my entire future. Today I tried to walk my short route to the grocery store, which I’ve done hundreds of times… But I just had to stop and sit. The idea of getting there and back was overwhelming. I actually laughed, because this was the smallest thing. In the next few weeks I have to manage to secure an apartment in another country, finish three essays for my masters program, re-correct my dissertation question for the 100th time, finish a project for work, and get out of my apartment now. Even typing it out is draining. When I got home I just laid in bed and watched videos on my phone for hours. It was so stupid of me. I feel like I’m about to destroy my future because I’m just too exhausted, too overwhelmed, and too full of self-hatred. Honestly, I’m shocked I made it this far. I keep saying I’ll just push through and it’ll be okay, but I’m not. I haven’t. I’m feeling alone, embarrassed, and panicked. My entire family has been telling me I couldn’t pull this off and I think they’re about to watch me fail. It’s all coming so fast and I can’t do it.