My long and painful emotional struggle has costed me all of my energy, motivation, and friends. I already feel like that I’m finished living and I’m ready to rest for good!

Unfortunately that’s all fantasy unless I chose to take my own life. Or if I get super lucky and end up with terminal illness (my number one wish in life)! I feel like all of my good memories are past and I’ve enjoyed my best years back in elementary school, which also happened to be my worst years due to a lot of bullying (probable cause of BPD) that forced me to seclude myself for the rest of my life. 

I’m 18, but i feel like I’m over 118. I’m ready to just depart and head to my final destination, death!