I have memories from my late teens where I wanted to live a criminal life. I wanted the excitement that life had to offer. Sometimes it was like my thoughts was so dark that I just wanted to embrace it completely just dive in and be what my thoughts were. 

I’m in a better place now overall and live a normal life with a day job and such. But sometimes these intrusive thoughts still haunt me for a few days. Where I’m on the verge of just destroying my normal life to take drugs and get involved in dark shit.