Everyone I have ever loved has completely abandoned me (the irony of having the symptom of fear of abandonment and it actually happening has not passed me don’t worry). It really sucks. I have experienced so much trauma involving all of those I love dearly within the past 6 months. It’s made me feel like a bad person and I feel guilty for having them put up with me so long. I am stuck in these meaningless life and my heart is so broken. 

I have finally accepted it’s time to go for real this time. If you’ve ever replied to anything I’ve posted on here, thank you so much. You have no idea how much it means to be. Borderline personality disorder has finally beaten me. I wish everyone else suffering from this the best of luck. I’m far too weak and sensitive for this world, everything hurts. 

If any of my family or “friends” or the one I love is reading this after I am gone, I am so sorry. I’m so sad and I’ll be so much happier this way. I tried my best. I don’t have a life anymore. I deserve all the pain I’m going to experience. 

I’m going to spend my last few hours on this earth doing the things I enjoy. Thank you for reading if you’ve made it this far.