Man, I shouldn't have listened to sad music. It has such an impact on me, that lasts for days, and days. I know the weather also plays a role because I suffer from seasonal depression. But for some reason, I started liking feeling empty, it's such an unspeakable emotion, it fills your whole body, it comes as a wave, and it stays there, it feels that time stopped and the universe shattered, and nothing matters anymore. You don't really want to end it all, but you would just like to cease existing. I find comfort, feeling like this. It is weird. It is somehow peaceful, until you start to consider hurting yourself. Emotions hurt so much that emptiness actually is a moment of peace inside your body and your mind.

So sorry for this very deconstructed and nonsensical ramble, I can't think straight when I'm like this