A rant on how my mind works. 

It is weird going through life situations when you have a date to end it all. 

“What’s your dream job?” My mind goes blank because I don’t have one, I don’t plan on having one.

“Where do you expect to be in five years?” Results in a bs answer because I can’t just say nowhere. Not here, not anywhere.

“Don’t get old, it sucks.” Trust me, I know I won’t. 

Knowing I won’t have plans after a future date is almost relieving. Yes I know I’m missing out on the possibilities of wonders and beauty. But with that comes let downs, trauma, daily depression. 
And in my sick mind it’s not worth it.
In my deteriorating mind I feel like I can’t do any more…