I work in healthcare as a surgical assistant and I have to take a lot of call. I recently decided to take a travel contract while I finish my degree. For the last three weekends, I’ve been called in to work overnight. I have done my best with medication management, updating my psychiatrist, and tracking my moods. I even have a heart rate monitor watch to predict my manic episodes. I’m bipolar I and I experience psychosis when I destabilize. Luckily, it hasn’t been as bad since being medicated for the last three years, but I can’t take my full dose of Seroquel on the nights I’m on call. 

Since last week, I’ve been in some twisted mixed episode that I haven’t experienced yet and can’t seem to get out of. I left healthcare to go back to school for graphic design after the pandemic, because I seemed to stay in a continuous manic episode while working in that fast paced environment. I did this for seven years, undiagnosed, just episode after episode. I quit one week after my diagnosis. (Manic, but the best manic decision I’ve ever made)

Now, readjusting, I’m starting to remember why I left but I really need the money, so I can’t stop. 

Help. Do you have coping mechanisms for when you destabilize? Or things that are soothing? This is exhausting and I have zero experience with mixed episodes.