Since I was diagnosed, I think things have been a lot better for me. Except, I get these really intense empty feelings sometimes, but overall I don’t get super sad, anxious, or angry over anyone’s actions. But I don’t think it’s because I’ve gotten a lot better, but really this year is essentially my gap year (I stayed in my hometown for freshman yr — not by choice —  but accepted to transfer at a rlly good school across the country next yr, but for now I’m living at home and don’t really vibe with my school or the people), so I haven’t been around a lot of friends like I was in high school or during the summer. When I think about this, I get really sad and start to feel really empty. I feel like I can’t really feel abandoned if I don’t have anyone to abandon me. And a lot of times when that happens to me, I browse this sub and I read a lot of these posts and it really feels like a lot of my old thoughts which makes me feel even worse. Like even when my heart really hurt and I was really sad because my FP did xyz, at least I had a FP and all of the really warm and exciting feelings that come with that/having a lot of people. Especially now that it’s spring I’ve been getting really sad because I would normally be playing tennis for my school now. And I know that I have a lot to look forward to next year, but it’s just hard to feel optimistic about the future instead of being really empty rn