Currently its 7am. Been up all night with thoughts and surfing the web on my phone. Tried to sleep but can't without alcohol or pills.

It hurts because today will be the exact same as yesterday, yet it feels like its just one continuous day.

Sure, I could go for a walk or do something a little different, but lets be real, that's 1) not going to happen, 2) it won't make a difference.

Go ahead call me lazy or whatever for complaining and then not doing anything about it. Nothing seems to matter anymore no matter what I do.

I'm just tired of being here and constantly feeling in crisis. Why the hell was I born!?