I am really not feeling okay. I feel like depression is completely taking over my life. I try to feel better by going outside but I feel like a spectator, I feel like life is happening all around me and I am just observing. I was recently laid off from my job back in June and I have no motivation for anything. I try to muster up the energy to do more productive things throughout my day, the most I can do is to “easy apply” to several jobs on LinkedIn but it’s exhausting to even wash my hair or brush my teeth. I am 24 and have no motivations or ambitions in life. I feel nothing and it’s so scary, I have feel pure apathy towards life. The only thing that gives me some feeling is playing competitive games. I am trying to do better by learning new hard skills but I struggle with consistency and motivation. It’s hard to even think clearly. My head feels empty and I feel numb to life. My home life is only adding to my depression and it’s impossible to move out. No one in my family really seems to care or look out for me. I want to do and feel better but physically/mentally my body cannot muster up the strength to feel better and believe positive affirmations. 

I feel like completely giving up on my life, I feel like I will inevitably end up taking my life.  None of this feels worth it, everything is just hurdle after hurdle.