No matter what the situation is, even when the other person is being unreasonable or just a plain jackass, I find that I make myself out to be the bad person. Maybe it’s because of my over dramatic attitudes and how my friends never took well to that, my guilt or my low self esteem. But it’s me who’s at fault. 

I say things like “oh I don’t blame them” or “I’m not a good person” or “I’m difficult so it’s fine” but when do we draw a line? Just because I can be difficult doesn’t mean you get to make me feel shitty. 

One friend, after 3 years where I’ve apologized so many times for this fight we had, still doesn’t completely forgive me because I was selfish back then. She was my FP. And I have these habits of leaving groups when I get upset so when I do that I immediately assume I’m not worthy of love without even considering that no one actually cares. 

Basically how do I start seeing things objectively?