I (24F) struggle with anxiety my whole life which can get ugly. I’ve been in and out of therapy for it and have been in traumatic relationships where trust has been broken and my anxiety has gotten worse which contributed to my fear of love. I’ve been avoiding love due to this but life happened and I met a great guy my age who takes good care of me and wants nothing more than to see me well. 

I ended up falling in love and my anxiety and fears grew as I couldn’t accept the reality and vulnerability of being in love with someone again and with a man who treats me way differently compared to what I had. It’s just new to me and I was so scared to get my heart broken that my anxiety and insecurity got the best of me which in turn, broke the man I love. He was committed in dealing with my mental struggles until he got understandably tired by my constant questioning, mood swings and anxiety attacks. 

We recently had a huge argument which changed everything for us and things turned pretty bleak. He broke down and told me that all our fights, my issues and the recent things that happened between us made him tired, is completely overwhelmed and he doesn’t know what to do. He’s also unsure if the love he had for me then is still there. He said he just doesn’t know anything right now and that he needs time soon and that we’ll try to talk again tomorrow and come up with something if there’s any. I woke up feeling optimistic about the future and with the realization to do things right by him and then we had that talk and I’m now completely worried about him and our future. 

I feel horrible that I let my anxiety get to me and ruin something good with my actions. I was not a good partner to him and I told him that I want to make things right again but I wouldn’t force him to stay if he doesn’t want to. For now, I’m just continuing with my therapy sessions, not only for me but for us. I just want 
 things to be ok im the end, I wish I dealt with things differently. I feel awful.