Hi all,

So recently I had to make a big career decision, start a new job as a Cyber Security Analyst or go to uni to study Computer Science. I was procrastinating for long on this as they both had pros and cons, I really wanted a social life and to make friends but at the same time I didn't want the student debt as its very high here in the uk. In the end I decided the job, the thing is ofc I am new to the role and so I am learning on the job but its just so much harder than I imagined and my anxious mind is absolutely obcsssing about turning down uni as I did come extremely close to joining there with all my student accommodation and course sorted. 

Its just relentless with the thoughts, even though I know logically I made the smart decision as this job has the potential to offer a very high salary in the future plus my colleagues have been welcoming its just the fear of missing out and a bit of "grass is greener" makes it hard to concentrate and focus in my job and day to day life as it keeps trying to make me regret my choice. Also its the feeling of coming so close twice as originally I was supposed to join in September 2020 but didnt because of lockdowns and wasnt worth it, also most of my family has been against uni so I feel like my decision wasnt exactly my decision because of the heavy influence from them. To futher complicate matters I am not even sure if I want to work or study in IT/Computing at all as I have a huge drive and passion in mental health and psychology but yet again my family said its pointless as you cant find work so I let them decide my future career, yes I completely agree that IT is great money and I can do the job, its just I dont feel happy and I always feel like I want to help others in a meaningful way aka counselling.

Sorry if this is a rambling mess, I feel super down as I cant stop thinking I am missing out on making friends and having fun, at the same time I am struggling in my new job and it's making me feel worse.