Type 1 bipolar here. Unbeknownst to me until recently, I spent most of my adult life rapid cycling with frequent hypomanic or manic episodes. I used to get incredibly high off my own brain. Following a recent hypermanic episode and diagnosis, I am now medicated. It took five months of misery, being flat, being unable to drive and work, and experiencing terrible side effects, but I finally got stabilized and was able to return to work. However, I am having a sad realization - I miss my hypomania! Now, mania was never particularly fun for me. I could never concentrate, I sabotaged my relationships, and I isolated myself extensively. But I still miss the intense euphoria I used to get. I also don't derive as much pleasure from anything as I used to, and I feel like I'm CONSTANTLY bored.
Does this get easier with time? How do I cope with it?