I notice a pattern every time I date people I fall really quick and hard, and once things start to even out and become less "new," that's when my insecurities come awake and I get all sorts of intrusive thoughts.

Pre-diagnosis this led to lots of bad behavior that was very harmful to my boyfriend at the time. 

I feel disconnected, not special, and hurt all the time for no reason after the "honey moon" phase wears off. It affects my sex drive and general feelings toward the person. 

Anybody else experience similar things? Do I just ride it out? Prediagnosis this ended the relationships, the one I'm in currently is one I want to continue for a long time. I want strategies and techniques to deal with my extra bad BPD symptoms during this time. 