So I was browsing right? Then I came upon the dates, the dates when that accursed thing that made me anxious of said thing began. 

I'll be specific, circumcision. I was very much full forced introduced with the information. I was so shocked. The shock still stays with me, I guess. 

I recall going through those dates indicated by the backups and I felt like I was anticipating something. It wasn't good anticipation. I was breathing heavily and I was just waiting then poof, gone. 

All the bad things that my brain did to make sense of the shocking information I got from two years ago. Goddamn. 

The feeling is still there. I was advised to just let it be, don't think of it too much. Maybe that's what happened. I wasn't really paying attention. 

The old habits I had were rearing their heads but they didn't stay long. Oh, I hated those habits. Those damnable habits, I curse my mind for forming them. 

I just wanted to share this. This is really something for me. Something I thought I'd never feel again, that dread. I hate it.