I mean really
I should be very happy 
I should jump for joy
I have an amazing bf
I have great friends despite recent bumps in the road
I just got a new job that pays a lot and everyone is super nice
But why am I not happy 
What does it mean to be happy 
I couldn’t tell you at this point
I haven’t been for years
I know I bitch and I moan
But what’s gonna happen to me to make that a real, achievable goal?
I get the feeling that it never will. 
I’ll never fully get there. I should just give up.