I think I just need to post this out there to feel like maybe if I get it out my chest I’ll be free. Heal. Idk I really hate who I am and I don’t know if I ever liked who I was. I keep trying to get myself to get up and seize the day make something of myself, but I just don’t have the strength. All I can think about is how weak and worthless I am. I don’t have any friends cause once people get to know the real me they see how broken I am and just run away from me. This weekend I think was my new low. I stay in bed until 3 on or even 4pm and don’t eat until around then. I barely eat. Last night I didn’t sleep at all. I just played on my phone or I lied in bed thinking about all the past mistakes I’ve made. I wish I could just wake up one day and be who I need me to be. A part of me feels like I crave friends so that they can distract me from who I am cause I hate when I’m alone with me. I’ve been taking sleeping pills just to force myself to not have to be awake and see the reality of what I have become. Sorry for the randomness of this paragraph. My mind isn’t thinking straight and I just spit everything out that I could make sense of like word vomit