So I've been with my partner for  nearly a year now and he is wonderful. As far as I know he checks all of the boxes and does the things that partners are supposed to do (according to places like the Mind mental health charity website). However, I just got my diagnosis yesterday, I was already feeling like trash and being around him made me feel... worse?

He is quite extra, mentally healthy, neurotypical, successful and confident.

He is supportive and listens but will never understand.

Sometimes when I'm in a bad mood he'll make me laugh by making fun of me, which feels nice at the time, but afterwards makes me feel worse. 

It feels like right now I need someone to boost my ego and make me feel special. He's there when I need him (though I avoid leaning  on him too much) but he's not the kind of person that makes gestures. 

Is this a real need I have, to feel special? 

Am I just missing narcissistic relationships that will give me the intense attention and validation I need (though it's not real).

I don't want to break up with this man, but I do feel more stable when I'm alone. I have mentioned it before but you can't ASK someone to make you feel special, right? It defeats the point. I also don't want him to be LESS happy, LESS healthy or LESS of his wonderful, extra self.

Maybe we're not compatible? 

&amp;#x200B;

Tl;dr 

Spending time with my mentally healthy, successful partner is making me feel like even less of a person. What can I do?