Nothing i do is good enough. No matter how hard i try it isn’t good enough. Im expected to act perfect 24/7  and when i don’t i get treated like sh*t. Im sick of sticking around for a family that hates me and i don’t have any friends at least not ones that care. All i have is my cat and frankly he deserves someone better than me. Im tired and i just don’t wanna do this anymore. Ive been trying to get better for years and nothing works, I’m to tired to keep trying to learn DBT. My therapist ends sessions early because she’s sick of me. I have to isolate a majority of the time so i don’t make people upset by my initial reactions before i can process and pick the right one. I just i cant do this anymore , 27 years of misery is more than enough. At least if I’m dead i wont have to be constantly aware of how hated , alone and misunderstood i am, even when I’m trying my best to get better. Im just I’m running out of reasons to stick around and i feel like I’m really close to hitting that point of no return. The worst part about it is nobody cares, nobody can immediately say their lives wouldn’t be better without me. There’s always that soul shattering pause before they can choke out that it wouldn’t be better like its physically painful for them to say. Im sick of people acting like I’m stupid and that I’m not painfully aware of all of this. Im just so tired of trying for people who don’t even care about me , and i cant seem to find people who do.