I was in schema therapy for a year. I didn’t have a good connection with them. I told them, I told other people that worked there and everyone told me to keep going so I did. The therapist was homophobic (I’m a big lesbian) and transphobic (had a partners transitioning female 2 male) and morally condemned me. She mocked me and laughed at me several times in therapy. I survived by having compassion for her ‘not knowing any better’ and I truly believed she was trying but we just had VERY different views on society. 

After a year she transferred me to another therapist doing MBT from one appointment to the next. I was furious that 1. I had let someone cross my boundaries for nothing 2. Was abandoned and 3. She hadn’t spoken to me before the transfer or asked me if that’s what I wanted, depleting my sense of autonomy.

In the end, I totally loved my new therapist. I made complaints about my old therapist within the organisation but these were ignored and completely not taken seriously. I complained again and pointed out that I wasn’t being taken seriously. then again from one week to the next, I was kicked out of therapy after 8 months - this time with nowhere else to go. I was distraught to say goodbye to my new therapist.

After that, I started sending emails swearing at my old therapist. I just felt like I had nothing left to lose and I needed her to know how much damage she caused. I’ve been suicidal and cutting myself since the therapy with her ended. I’ve been sending tens of emails per week for the past 6 months.

As a human, no one deserves that. But I also didn’t deserve this treatment and she should have known better and the organisation should have listened to me. The therapy ruined my self esteem, my trust in therapy, increased my abandonment issue, increased my self harm and suicidal tendencies. I think I have a right to be angry.

Anyways, now the police are finally involved. The emails are over. I just want to move on. I have made my point with that therapist and I am quite sure that we have both gotten hurt. I really hope I don’t get in any serious trouble. I’m committed to stopping and moving on.

Has anyone else ever done totally ridiculous, mean and horrible behaviours? I’d love to hear some other stories. Perhaps it can help me feel less like a loser. Thank you so much for reading.