I seriously have no clue what I've done wrong! I tried to make them smile as much as I could! I'm doing my best to be open to them but I've noticed nowadays he rather y'know play Vidya and stuff with online friends  than hang with me 

And that's fine yes! I understand he's his own person and deserves his independence and all I'm super fine with that but I just feel as if more and more lately he hasn't even really been trying to talk to me...

Even now that the school year's up and he isn't working I just feel he's sorta y'know sweeping me away...I love the guy

I do everything I can to make him happy and if that means doing away with me I guess it is what it is... But what the hell am I supposed to do!? That's the only person who knows y'know ME 

Like the Actual full hearted ME and even just thinking about the possibility of him preparing to throw me away makes me feel like apart of me is dying.... 

What will I do without him?...is my life just gonna be filled with more hollow relationships untill I peel my own skull cap back? What did I do wrong? 

We were so close...did I talk too much? I wish I didn't screw everything up. My head hurts, the air feels like it's full of funeral music  I just 

What do I do? Do I pray to be wrong? 2020 has already been such a shit show I don't wanna lose my only real friend aswell...