I want to break up with my gf but I don’t want to. 
 
Idk if I am shallow or not but I just want to hear some advice and vent my situation. 
 
My gf and I live in the same apartment for years and next wk is our 2nd anniversary. I want to break up with my gf (but I’m not sure) because she broke our agreement many times and it’s messing me
  
We have an agreement that if we have plans with our friends especially drinking, we should inform each other ahead of time before the actual day, therefore no spontaneous on the spot plans with friends.

The reason is, I have a mild case of BPD and abandonment issues. And she’s fully aware of it, that’s why we promised to each other about our agreement to avoid conflict. 

We agreed and promised to that setup 
 
and btw I didn’t force her to agree with our terms, I openly told her everything and I also told her if that doesn’t sound good to her maybe separating way is the best because I don’t want her to have a hard time dealing with me anymore, i swear to god I was so sincere about that, at that point I was mentally ready to break up with her that time, but she insisted and told me she’s perfectly fine with it and she promised etc. Because we noticed that going out with friends spontaneously is one of the reasons why we always argue. And we wanted a healthy relationship .

But she kept on breaking our agreement. Last night she spontaneously went to a party with her girl friend that I am jealous with (she also knows that) because that girl had a thing for her before. I know it’s past is past, BUT what really bothers me is she doesn’t take her promises seriously and kept on breaking it.  And I a not even mad, I am just losing interest to keep our relationship but I love her.
 
I just don’t think I want that kind of partner anymore, it’s messing my issues.
 
I don’t feel like talking to her, I didn’t reply to her last message, but I need to go back in my apartment (rn I’m in my grandma's house and she’s in my apartment) idk what to do.