I feel sad. I cry so much, in fact, I think I have never cried so much and so long in my whole life summed up. I dont know, when was the last time I felt sadness. I do not even remember the time and here I am, weeping every single day.

Its so beautiful. It has so much depth. Sadness is such a relief. I feel like a human.

Its so much different from the murky foggy nothing feeling emptiness, anhedonia and paralysis I have been stuck in for so long. It has ruined so many beautiful things and wasted so much time. I feel like I just took first breath after being succumbed in deep water drowning in despair.