I’ve had severe driving anxiety for as long as I can remember. It took me forever to get my license and even longer for me to feel comfortable driving on my own. I didn’t really start driving on my own until august last year. 

But over these past 10 months I made such good progress. First I drove myself to college, then I drove my friend to work, I drove new routes with a friend and eventually by myself, I’ve driven in snow and rush hour, and I’ve even been practicing supervised highway driving. 

But then today I was an idiot and got in a stupid accident. I was pulling out of a parking lot and onto a side road. My eyes fixed on the car behind the one approaching the driveway and they were decently far, so I pulled out. I completely missed this red car already super close to me until I was already two feet into the intersection. Slammed on my breaks but we scrapped front ends. Very minimal damage, loosened bumper plate on my car and scrapped paint on their front and side doors. 

I nearly had a full on panic attack at the scene. Luckily I had two amazing friends to help me through the exchange of insurance and all, but it was still awful. Very little will come of this besides some minor repairs, but now I’m terrified to drive again. 

I just don’t know how the hell I did this. I’ve been doing good, I’ve been more confident. Maybe that was my mistake. I don’t know how I didn’t see them or register them! Idk if my mirror was blocking them or what. I feel so stupid and so embarrassed, like I shouldn’t be on the road anymore. 

I’m supposed to drive one of said friends who were with me during the accident to work tomorrow. They’re still trusting of me and I don’t understand how. I feel like I should be punishing myself or something. I was hoping someone would yell at me, but I’m just stewing in this guilt and embarrassment and fear. 

I just feel so dumb and don’t know what to do. I guess I’ve learned to be more careful and to sit and really stare before turns now, but I usually already do that. I’m so afraid I’m gonna fuck up again