Yesterday was the worst day ever, I got screamed at for hours on hours by my parents. I ended up stabbing my leg with a pencil over and over and over again as hard as I could whenever they turned around so that the pain would make me dissociate from the situation. I have huge bruises on my thigh now. 

I don’t want to keep trying because it doesn’t get any better. I’m going to the doctor today and asking for a higher dose on my depression meds maybe it will drown out my want to die. When does it stop? When does life stop being like this, I don’t know how much more I can do