(English is not my first language)

For  yeras i have felt sad and whortlees, i started losing interest in  everything, videogames,books,skating... A few months ago i started to  note that i don't feel anything aswell, since i have memeory i failed in  all my studies i never felt interest for the major part of the  subjects,and now i don't know what to do for living since nothing  interests me.

Now i'm at my 20's  and i can't feel any emotion execpt anger sometimes for no fucking  reason but most of the time i don't feel anything i don't do nothing  expect whatcing pointles videos on yt or listening to music and go to  sleep, my  sleep schedule has been a mess for several years and the last  years i feelt that i eat a lot moar, i try to isolate my self, but i  see my friends on the job( i'm a waiter at a good retaurant on my town  but i hate the job whit every cell i have i put a mask and go on auto  mode, i go 3 days a week and the other 4 doing nothing  whatching how  life passes  ), when i was younger i  thought  about killing my self now  i just don't care if i die i will not actively  killmyself but if i die  everything will be better for a lot of people i know somepeople are  gone be sad but that's life.

Looking  at all that i have i think i might have depression, i tried to call my  hospital last week but they tell me i don't exist in the database,  that's because i moved a few  streets  and they fucked up my data, so   basically i don't exist and i can't get  treatment, the problem has been  around moar that a year and it's like never gone be fix, i find it   ironic that someone finally seek help and can't legit get it.

I'm  unmotivated to do anything like always so, i hope some day i can start  feel emotions and lear something interesting, but at this rate i think  is better to just die.( I won't kill my self  actively  for now since i  don't feel sad but it's kind of getting  tedious living for nothing).

&amp;#x200B;

I don't know what to do now.