On my 18th birthday I am committing whilst jumping from a building or hanging. 

This has been a plan of mine for a couple of years and everyday it has come up in my head I haven’t once questioned it. Nothing brings me more happiness than this. People say killing yourself is selfish but then they will throw you in a hospital and force you to be “normal” and happy. Hypocrites. 

If I choose to jump I’ll be wearing a nice, poofy Lolita dress similar to the one Misa wore in Death Note. She too jumped as I’ll be doing too. 

Please no one tell me how painful it will be for me or my family. I’ve tried hanging myself, I know the pain but the rope broke. I could’ve gotten through it if it didn’t happen. I’ve been to therapy, hospitals, medications, tried hobbies nothing has or will stop these idolizing thoughts but thank you.

Life just isn’t for everyone and I think I was chosen as that person.