tw suicide mentione

It's been 8 years since my childhood best friend just. Dropped me for basically nothing. He literally just pretended I wasn't there when my other best friend tried to hang out with both of us. We live in different countries than our native country but would meet up annually in our native country and grew up together. I was 18 so we were already at an age where we started to have different plans for the summer. 

I messaged him. Poured my heart out to him. Let myself be vulnerable. He left me on read. 

This wasn't the first time I was dropped like a hot potato, but I barely remember high school. Every abandonment since that ont at 18 is seared in brain and I still sob uncontrollably about it. 

I haven't seen him since. He has never reached out to me over social media. A small part of me still believes that maybe if he saw me in person again, he'd apologise, chalk it up to immaturity or something. But I just wish this person, and every other person who left me didn't have this much of an impact on me, all these years later. Am I gonna be a 60 year old crying over every single abandonment (granted I don't kms over them first)? 

I know fear of abandonment is literally part of the bpd diagnosis criteria but is there any way of healing from abandonment?