So since Corona started, I have been getting worse and worse anxiety symptoms all the time. I have had anxiety for as long as I can remember, but I have always kept it in check by just doing whatever I want to do and ignoring it. It was still difficult, but it has got to the point now that I'm physically unable to do things. I want to puke from the idea of having to email someone, and I'm unable to sleep. My psychologist told me that I'm lonely and I should find something to do or someone to talk to, but I have been unable to find anywhere that accepts volunteer workers at the moment, and I haven't seen my friends in months. I don't even have anyone to talk to online. I wish I could just have casual phone calls during the day but there is nothing. I have also created a health anxiety, so I start panicking everytime I feel nauseous or cough, because I'm convinced I'll die. I create new symptoms all the time. 

On top of the health anxiety, I have also been feeling like I'm just going crazy. I feel like the whole is unreal at time, and everything is spinning so much. Additionally, I remember things that might have been hallucinations and next I'm convinced that I'm becoming schizophrenic or something. 

I'm so tired of all of this. I wish I could feel normal again. I don't want to be scared of life. Before all of this, I was never even scared of dying. If anything, I was the opposite. I'm slowly becoming depressed just because I feel like my own body is against me and I can't handle it anymore.