After all the shit that happened me to I pulled myself up. I didn’t have any friends or family there for me. I was doing better than I ever have been. 


Then after 5 years together it’s suddenly over. I moved across the country for her. It’s not the breakup that hurts so much though it definitely sucks, it’s more so that I’ve sacrificed to build a home here and now I’m being thrown away just like I was afraid of. I don’t even have anywhere to go, not enough money to actually move my stuff out. 


I walked down to the bridge near my house last night but since it’s been unusually rainy there was too much water. I’ve been thinking about slashing my wrists or something. Between the bpd and chrones I’m suffering. It really does feel like we’re out here just to suffer. It does get better but it gets worse again too. 

This shit has thrown such a wrench in things I don’t know where I’ll go, what I’ll do. I don’t have the strength to continue.