omg I don't know what's happening. I'm really new to BPD in this way. I feel like ive completely lost it. I'm very lonely I had been isolating myself. But for the past couple of days ive tried reaching out to friends only to find out, even tho im not surprised, that it seems everyone is trying to ignore or if they do talk to me....they're sounding distant and not really into talking to me at all?? So im kinda freaking out, am I gonna be all alone in this hopelessness forever? 
This is where the fracturing comes in...I talk to the person i idealize most, but weren't answering! So I went to my 2nd most. And immediately was like..a different person kind of? It felt like i was lying to each friend because I was a completely different person to each but I'm still freaking out because I won't know why both are trying to ignore me it feels like probably there's a network of all my friends standing behind these 2 working together to shut me off from everyone? 