I’m 23 years old, Mexican and just about to finish my last year and college, so this is going to be a long text wall, but need to get this off my chest.
As the title says, sometimes I feel that, from the very beginning I always had poor social skills so my number of friends is low (I have improved but still a way to go, since I still don’t like to go to parties that much) and also, I’m a virgin, while that doesn’t bother me most of the times, I do sometimes feel
like I’m gonna die alone, luckily I’m not one of those incels who only blame women for their misery, I’m more than conscious.
Now I’m at my last year at college, about to finish, and honestly I have no fucking clue of what to do with my life, I would like to be a filmmaker, but my experience is limited, added to some dark recently discovered secrets regarding with my father and brother, my brother actually suffered depression and is taking medicaments, he is 27 year old and is living off freelancing (he is a designer), in other words, im scared, confused, and sometimes I feel like I hate this world, and all it’s people, I don’t want nor will ever harm anybody, but sometimes im apathic towards men, women, children, elders, left and right wings, im apathic inside while still forcing a smile and treating everyone with kindness, sometimes I feel like going insane