I suffer with depression anxiety ocd anger issues all that.. me and one of my exs lived together a while and broke up over about 6 months ago due to my stupid chaotic behavior.. he was struggling w drug addiction so obviously there were underlying issues but so many times i disappointed him and ruined our relationship... he is now with someone else and i’ve met this person before so i know how much more attractive they are than me.. i think about them having sex constantly it’s like this solid image i can’t get out of my head.. i know it’s “normal” to have these kinds of thoughts about someone u lost but this doesn’t feel normal.. i even moved states bc of my fear of running into them.. i don’t check socials bc i blocked her after seeing the first few pics.. but i think about them together ALL THE TIME even in dreams.. i can’t even consider sex or a relationship for myself anymore bc i will just think about him or them together.. i self harm to try n get myself to stop thinking about it but it doesn’t help .. he was my soulmate i know it and i miss him so much but there nothing i can do.. i’m worthless and he is probably so much happier but idk how to move on ... even seeing strangers like look anything like him or her i get so fucking angry.. i truly feel like there’s so way to get rid of the thoughts besides taking my life .. i wish i wasn’t so scared to do it or it would be done already... i just want freedom from my own thoughts.. i deserve to suffer but idk how much more i can take i just hate myself so fucking much and i hate that i can’t get it out of my fucking head!!! :(