my anxiety started ramping up after the age of 5 or so.. I was pretty careless as a little kid but suddenly started feeling very self conscious about what I say around my parents and how I talk to my friends around my parents. It was rlly hard to even talk on the phone with friends while my parents were there so usually id go to my bedroom to talk but one day for some reason my dad made me stay in the living room to talk. It sent me into panic and I haven’t ever been able to be normal in front of them.

 they’ve messed me up along the years by calling me crazy for staying in my room and not talking to family members. I wish they knew that it’s not personal, I just can’t bring myself to talk to them without feeling like my world is ending. My mom has also gaslit me to the MAX. drove me to the worst panic attack of my life. 

All this being said, in middle school I thought I’d be able to talk to my family by the age of 16. 16 rolled around and nothing changed. Now I’m nearly 18 and wondering if I’ll ever feel normal.