So I should start this off by saying I'm not OFFICIALLY diagnosed with BPD. However, I meet all nine of the criteria (very strongly) and identify with many of the more subtle ways I've read people with BPD act. For all intents and purposes, I do consider myself to have BPD.

Tonight, I finally brutally destroyed what could have been a great relationship. It's made me extremely upset and angry with myself. The silver lining is, at both my own desire and the urging of the girl who I ended things with (we talked a few hours after the vicious arguing and left on a positive-ish note) I've decided to do something about this. 
      Honestly, though, I'm not sure what my next step should be. I'm on summer break but my college has free psychological services, so I was thinking of just waiting until I get that opportunity. Could anyone tell me what I can expect to happen after that? Will I need to seek a paid therapist? If I tell the school psychologist about my suicidal thoughts, will I be forced into anything? 

     I'm not entirely sure what my question is, I'm really just a mess right now and wanted to talk with other people like me and see what I can do from here on out. Thank you so much for any responses, I really appreciate it. 