I'm looking to schedule an appointment with a local doctor. After doing some research, I think I may have BPD and just wanted some input if anyone else is feeling/experiencing this. 

My anxiety is through the roof. It feels like there is a huge weight on my chest. Lately, I don't feel close or connected with any of my friends, even though they consistently say how much they appreciate me, love me, and enjoy spending time with me. I feel empty, confused, and lacking emotion lately. I feel disconnected from reality. I don't know what I want from life and lately I haven't felt passionate about something. I have no dream job or dream life. I'm just existing. 

I feel like I have a hard time connecting with people and expressing true emotion. It never feels genuine to me. I see other people having strong relationships/friendships and I want to as well, but I just feel like I can't. I have amazing friends who tell me I'm a great friend, but I don't believe it. I've never had a boyfriend (I'm 23) but I've dated and had casual partners. I once had someone I really liked tell me, "Your words and actions don't match up. I can't figure you out." To this day, I still think about him, even though we weren't together, because his statement had such an impact on me.

I feel like something is wrong with me. I still go to work every day, but I don't like my job. Everything feels so mundane. I'm at a loss and don't know what to do. I try to stay optimistic, but I often feel down, confused, and irritable. 

I would really appreciate any advice or input or just a comment. I feel so lost, but I think I'm on the brisk of helping myself.  Thanks and I hope everyone has a nice weekend. 
