hello , i am 26 , i had been very reluctant to admit i was depressed but it's very hard to hide at this point plus who am i kidding. apparently its written over my face for  people who have known me for a while.  it really hurts me when people ask  "how are you ?" - i cannot tell if they are just being cordial or they truly care, i assume the former for them and respond i am good/okay but every time i say i am good i feel slightly sadder because i know that is not the case. i want to speak about this to friends but i do not really feel close to any friend anymore ( i moved countries so this could be a contributing factor) so here i am on reddit.

 i have attended university twice now and already going to have a delay on this degree , which means another year of my life wasted to chasing a degree (9)  i have been very disconnected from friends over the last two years and have felt like i am in a prison because i have mostly spoken  extensively to just two people over last two years, maybe this is because i am extroverted.  i do not recognise myself anymore, i used to be so positive and strong mentally but a lot of negative thinking and bad thoughts have  engulfed me for a while now. i used to be very funny and enjoyed joking around but thats vanished these days. i used to be very athletic and worked very hard to get lean after antipsychotics made me gain weight but now i am starting to put  some weight back on because i have been using unhealthy food to cope these days.  my mind is flooded with so much negative thoughts/patterns it's becoming too exhausting and i can barely study, despite my best efforts  and knowing finals are next week

mostly quit social media, especially instagram because all it makes me do is compare myself to others, and reminds me of how unaccomplished i feel and the older i get the more i start to fear that i might actually go nowhere and how it might be better to die young and full of potential than a wasted life

will i get back to how i once was before my mental health went to shit ? is there a way out for good? 

i have tried therapy but didn't work, my last therapist told me she doesn't know why i am depressed because i am very good looking, smart, likeable and said to cheer up, like it was that simple.