 

This may be a bit too much information but I need to get it all out there.

Since yesterday I have been very....strange feeling. It started right as I finished masterbating. Which is embarrassing to admit but a lot of the times sex and masterbation triggers something in my brain.

Well yesterday, since I was not watching anything to stimulate I was just fantasizing about a celebrity crush. Well at the very end it was almost like a glitch. My fantasy switched to one that I used to have when I had my male persona online. If you have not read some of my older stuff here is a quick over view. I made an account online long long ago pretending to be a different gender. Still my images and all that. Well me and this girl hit it off for years. I mean 10 plus.  
Well we have basically fallen out since I finally told her in hopes maybe she would okay with me as I am if she actually loved me. Well yeah, no.  
So when my mind glitched like that it has since sent me into some sort of haze. I am still fully functional, mainly lol. But I feel like I am not there. It feels like something has a hold of me and pouring miasma into my brain causing a haze.

I cut after masterbating as well once this set on. Though it truly felt like there was no reason behind it. It did almost feel like this haze "me" did it and I was just spectating. Not outside my body or anything. But once I did I seemed to wake up and realize, shit I have to work this weekend now I am going to have to cover up.

Well today I have been having the urge all day and I have been all around with emotions when I have not been busy.

I have been down, normal, moodless, slightly suicidal, depressed, mellow, wanting to cry, etc. All at random.

Could me pretending for her for so long have created some alter me ? Some sort of split personality? Is it even possible to have multiple personalities and be both at once?

I really do not know how to explain it all but I just needed to get this out there.