The last few days have been really hard and I got super overwhelmed with intrusive thoughts and fears of my FP/BF leaving me. This all lead to me overreacting then I hung up on him and had a full on meltdown. The suicidal ideation was probably as bad as it’s ever been and I wanted to SH relapse so bad. 

How do I know if I’ll recover from this? I still want to die but I’m not in the middle of a meltdown anymore, how can I start to feel better or convince myself I’m fine?