I did something stupid. And it's only going to hurt me, no matter what.

So my SO and I agreed to put our relationship on hold to work on our own mental health. We're both struggling a bit. But we're still in love and still friends. 

I'm having a hard time, because we still call each other sweetheart, love, babe, etc..  and I just desperately want to be with her.

She's been so tired lately from an hour and a half commute each way, not counting traffic. And she has some stress at home since living with family. And dealing with her issues takes a lot out of her.

So I booked an Airbnb 10 minutes from her job. It's a two bedroom, so she'll have complete privacy. She won't even need to see me. She could just use it to sleep.

But after I sent her all the info, I haven't heard back. Even after all the talking we still do, I think this was too much. And we were just texting each other, so I know she's not busy. It's been a while. Even if she was thinking about it, she'd say that.

I think I'll offer it to her as just hers. I wont stay. But then if she doesn't use it, I don't want it to go to waste.

It's too late to get a refund. And I certainly can't take my texts back. I don't know what to do. 

I'm not going to text again until I hear from her. I don't want to push anymore if that was too much. But if I don't hear back by tomorrow, if going to have to text something.

Any advice for this impulsive idiot.