Hey,

I’ve spent the last 5 months getting better after coming out of a wild episode. It wasn’t by far one of the worst experiences I’ve had with episodic shifts but was the first I recall where I felt a mixture of both poles.

Last July I left an incredibly stressful career for a new job in Revenue &amp; Customs. On top of the general anxiety of starting a new job I had a pretty shitty experience with my partner that triggered my first episode since being diagnosed in February. I was stupid in the fact that being triggered made me think I could stop taking my meds. 

The month of August I spent in what I think might have been a mixed episode. I was running on 3 hours sleep, 4 max, very irritable and my mind was running on overdrive. This coincided with depressive symptoms of crying uncontrollably, not eating and feeling ridiculously low.

To combat the time I had through not sleeping, I would drive around, chain smoke cigarettes like crazy and started smoking weed (I stopped smoking weed in my early twenties and haven’t touched it in the last 6 years).

It was a weird place to be in as my head felt like it was running at 100mph, my body wasn’t quick enough to react. 

When things came to a head with my situation at home &amp; I spoke to my partner, I realised how I’d been living the past couple of weeks and started taking my meds again &amp; the episode crashed and started to phase out. 

Is this what a mixed episode is? I missed my last psychiatric appointment back in August due to the above and I’ve been discharged back to the NHS/GP. I’ve got a mental health review next week to have my bloods taken so will discuss with the nurse.

Any advice or personal experience is more than welcome