hi, this is something that's been bothering me a lot lately. I'll be real here and not try to over exaggerate my own attributes, but I'm a cute, pretty, smart, witty, talented, athletic college girl who can get pretty much anyone I want. I do have negative qualities too, obviously, but what I'm trying to get at here is I can basically mold myself into anyone's dream girl. Classic BPD.

I have lots of success on dating apps and irl, however I can never sustain it for more than \~2months before doing something self destructive to ruin it. Basically I've never been in a bf/gf relationship because of this, and it's really depressing me, as all my siblings and friends have seemingly met the love of their life already and I'm just awkwardly 9th wheeling everything. 

Also it just hurts to not have anyone special in my life who likes me as much as I like them. I don't go for the wrong guys, but somehow things just always blow up in my face because of the things BPD makes me do. 

This sounds pathetic, but I'm really hurting and am lonely and I'm so tired of unintentionally ruining everything and starting over again. 

What have your guys' luck been, with regards to dating? What do you do to counteract the negative effects of BPD? How do you deal with the feelings you get?