Boundaries with fiancé

Greetings,

After recently learning that my fiancé may have BPD (my counselor thinks so given my description of some interactions) I am attempting to instill boundaries. Any advice?

Last night after I came to her apartment after a 12 hour work day I just wanted to bum around. She opened her arms signaling a hug. I hugged her for a few seconds and then attempted to go and lay down. She held me and puckered her lips signaling a kiss. I gave her a peck and then laid down. This pissed her off and she went into a lecture on how I didn’t see how she cleaned her apartment, gave her a half-ass hug and kiss and went on and on. So, trying to start healthy boundaries, I told her I didn’t like how she is treating me. She tried gaslighting me by bringing up something that wasn’t relevant. I told her she was deflecting so she said “OK SORRY”

We didn’t talk for the rest of the night, I did the dishes and packed up to leave. She got angry that I was going to leave without “fixing things” and I simply stated that I needed some space. She shut the door.

Today she is texting me horrible things. 
“Don’t come over”
“You’re treating me unfairly by pushing me away”
Listing how she gave up her life to move to my city as we get closer to marriage
Eventually saying “I’d do anything for a blade right now” (referring to self harm)

I told her “we can talk when you want to see me again. Texting isn’t helping. I love you! We will figure this out”

Did I go about this wrong? Is she just reacting to new boundaries?

What are the best ways to have good boundaries with loved ones?

*she is not seeing a therapist BUT we are working on that*