(tw: suicide)
Idk, I woke up today crying after another nightmare about my exFP, it’s been a year since I last talked to him. I wanted to confront him and maybe understand together with him why I still feel like this after two years, because I really want to improve and feel better about it. The ‘relationship’ with him drove me to commit suicide, and I think my mind can’t split the two things, I haven’t got over the suicide so I’ve not got over him.  He’s always been open about this, and great about giving support.
He just told me to get some help, cure myself and get over it, not to answer his text or text him ever again.
Well, at first I felt horrible but then I understood that maybe I’m the one who actually feels better about it. He’s always ignored the problem, whenever we started talking about emotions he just froze and treat me bad. Now I understand that he’s just become worse, he’ll probably live in ignorance while I’m trying to be a better person.