He cheated on me and left me a while back. Things were bad but I got through it. Then he resurfaced. It was like I had the old him back. He was talking about how much better things would be. He said he was in therapy, that he was working and doing everything possible to be the person he wanted to be. I tried. 

But since we’ve been back together things have been really rough. My symptoms are out in full force. Sometimes I’m mean and awful. Other times so depressed I can’t even function. I am going to star an IOP soon, as I can barely even go to work most days. I got too drunk last week and told him I didn’t think I could get better with him. I didn’t mean it. I’m trying. 

But now this. He says he can’t be happy without being with other people. That he wants me but he also wants other people. That he doesn’t think he can do it. I’m so miserable. I can’t breath. I didn’t get out of bed yesterday. I floated in and out of panic. I had therapy today and she said she was going to refer me for the IOP and that was it. 

He’s still saying he doesn’t know. I can’t breath. I feel like I’m falling apart. I can’t imagine life without him. He’s my best friend. He’s the only person who has seen the worst parts of me and how can I just let that go. What do I do?