


This is my first time using this app so I don’t really know it goes, well the thing is me and my ex girlfriend continued being friends after our break up but we had a lot of problems mostly cause I was too emotional and she used to lie to me (like when she denied she was with the girl she told me not to worry about) and I was always playing the victim and used all those things to treat her badly (just cause I thought she didn’t cared about me and didn’t loved me) I did a lot of bad things to make her jealous even though we weren’t together and she had a girlfriend, I told her a lot of bad things I didn’t actually thought and I put a lot of pressure in her (I have bpd and she was(is) my FP).

In June everything exploded, I was so mad for some stupid things and I told her I didn’t wanted her in my life anymore (but actually I was just sabotaging myself and wanting her to beg me to stay), well she told me she didn’t wanted to leave but that if that’s what I wanted she would do it,then I had two horrible weeks till I couldn’t take it anymore and I talked to her, she was so nice but she told me that she had an horrible time because she has abandonment issues and that she realized a lot of things while that time, she told me that the thing that scared her the most was to lose me but once I was gone that fear ended and that she missed me a lot but that she now relates a lot of bad feelings with me and that she needs time, some weeks happened and I went to terapy and realized a lot of things I did wrong and started changing I told her all of this to which she told me that was everything shewanted to hear and that she was so happy to know about it, right now we talk like two times or so for week but things are still weird, I don’t what else to do, I want to be with her as we were (cause we had an undeniable connection) I miss her so much, and I want her to see me not as a threat but as a safe place and someone that can bring her a lot of good things, last thing I did was to sent her a 5 pages letter by postal mail (she will receive it tomorrow and I’m very nervous about it) I’m still thinking about other ways of telling her I’m sorry, I really owe her a lot, if anyone could give me any plan or idea to help about it or give advice or opinion I will be very grateful.