I’m seeing this guy that I’ve been crushing on for a long time now. I had to make a move. I had to ask him to hang out. Yes, he was going through a death in the family so that might be why he never approached me. However. He’s slowly starting to become my favorite person. We have amazing conversations &amp; he’s already made it clear he finds attractive. However, some things aren’t adding up.

He claims he has a lot of baggage. He never initiated hanging out. We were together a few nights ago &amp; his ex called him for some reason. I’m not sure why she did but it’s bothering me. It’s bothering me because I’ve had to put in all the effort &amp; since he is becoming my fp I am consumed by thoughts of him &amp; what we might be. I’m scared of his ex trying to come back in his life &amp; everything gets fucked up. I’m pretty sure all of his ‘baggage’ is getting hurt from his ex.

But I can already see a lot of future issues as I have a habit of holding onto things I think about. I’ve already been thinking about talking to him to get a clear answer but I feel scared because of all the things he’s going through, I feel selfish for trying to figure everything out. As someone with bpd, I’m not sure how to process my emotions because I always miss him &amp; want to be there for him even as a friend but I also feel like if I try to talk about everything, he might get defensive &amp; possibly could turn me off. Which sucks because once I feel sad about someone, I’m usually done at the flip of a switch. Any advice?