Most of my social network is gone, few friends distrust me and i feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I'm here because of financial aid and partly drinking my dad's coolaid of "encouraging cs". I like the clubs but I can't find my true family, my family hates me for being gay and my sibling always criticizes me at least once every single day for forgetting stuff due to short term memory problems with ASD. Mental health resources told me you're too hard to fix go find another therapist

I'm just at my wits end. I want to convince my parents to let me drop for the semester but itll come with a fee and my scholarship would be taken away and there is a chance I never will get it back. Plus my parents would let me drop a class but not drop for the semester, they think they know how to fix me when they're not even qualified therapists from social work or psychology.

I got covid and honestly it's a cold compared to the amount of hurt I'm going through internally. I would seek help when I'm a freshman last year but I've given up honestly. 

My sociology class's first paper is giving me so much pressure to complete and my cs exam is terrifying me because I know I will bomb it because I don't understand shit in that class.

My uni structurally doesn't do enough to care about its students that are mentally vulnerable. I feel not empty but with a desire to not exist, without policies to help ppl like me rest and take care of ourselves without risking so much.

Honestly I can't do this anymore.