I was diagnoed with depression in 2020 but have dealt with it since i was a child and saed. It took a lot of work but eventually I found a good combination of medicine to help me manage it and the other mental health issues i had. One of which was the intense delusions and paranoia I would get during panic attacks and see and feel horrific creatures coming after me. A therapist i didn't like told me to put anything i didn't like into a box, so I put those creatures in a box. any time I felt they could get out I'd imagine putting the box into a bigger box and adding a lock. eventually with the meds I cold stop doing this and generally felt much better. 

about 4 months ago I made a mistake with my meds and ended up having to stop taking them. I realized all the negative affects the pills had and decided I would not be going back on them because 1 it felt impossible to function at work and I was almost fired and 2 i felt i had made enough progress I could handle a depressive episode without the meds. I've been doing fine until tonight. I felt I was getting depressed again (messy room. poor hygiene, motivation, etc) so I decided to go for a walk. It is about midnight where I live so I just walked around my buildings well lite parking lot for saftey. However while I was walking I mistook a group of long branches for legs and gave myself a fright. suddenly i felt just like a kid againa dn it all hit me. I could feel a panic attack coming so I tried calling my friends but no one will pick up. I went inside to draw and try to calm down but found the drawings I made of the creatures that used to haunt me and I feel I've fallen into a full blown delusional paranoid anxiety panic attack or whatever you want to call it. I hear tapping on the window as I write which my brain knows logically is a branch in the wind but I feel if I look out the window something will be staring back. 

What do I do?