I (18F) am pretty close with my best friend, completely platonic btw (18M). He’s my best friend and he’s always there for me. But I’m getting too insecure and splitting on him.

1. I get insecure when his dp is with another friend of his (but that’s also coz we didn’t get any good pics recently). But I very well know that I’m his first priority. Still it affects me.

2. I constantly ask for validation. I hate showing my emotions and acting needy. I hv an image of a ‘cold bitch’ btw (quiet bpd so ppl don’t know abt how intense my emotions r). So whenever he’s drunk, i ask him to tell me what he really thinks about me. This happens every time he gets drunk. Is this normal?

3. I always feel like no one completely understands me. He understands me more than others, but still not completely. And whenever this happens, it puts me off and I start splitting. To avoid ruining our friendship, i distance myself. I always distance myself to avoid ruining relationships and to wait until I again start to idiolise them. 

4. We just graduated high school and I’ll be leaving the country in a month for college. He’s on a gap year so he has a few exams, so we aren’t able to meet up that often. This also messes with my mind coz i feel he isn’t giving me enough time or is not interested in meeting w me.