Hi all, so my relationship with my family and my parents is somewhat complicated but mostly non existent. My mom and I aren’t on speaking terms right now because long story short I signed a lease for her when I was 18, and now two years later she’s up and moved to a different state and left me here with a federal eviction claim, making it virtually impossible for me to get a place in my name right now. I exploded on her after trying to be patient, because she’s never really been a parent and has always told me she never felt a “need to parent me” because how “mature” I was… (when i was really just a kid who felt like they had to step up because the lack of feeling like anybody cared/protected me, but that’s for another time i guess.) and i have been financially supporting myself since I was 17, a time where I was helping her financially as well. Every since I stopped trying to play a parent for my mom and my siblings our relationship hasn’t been the same and they never talk to me now. It’s very rare to hear from any of them. And as for my dad, I haven’t seen or spoken to him since I was a kid. So yeah, i’m basically out here winging life and trying my hardest to support myself while also dealing with the extremes of BPD, and it’s very hard sometimes when the only person I can lean on is my boyfriend. I’m in college, and I work full time, and it’s just very lonely at times especially when I see how much support (emotional and financially) my boyfriend gets from his family it makes me jealous a little. Has anyone else had a similar situation where they felt like they had to give up their parents in a sense where your parents are absent and you have no other guardian/elder who you could go to for advice or support. It’s just very hard sometimes because I’m (newly) 20 years old, there are a lot of things i’m unaware about and I just feel so disadvantaged from all the people who have support systems. I have no safety net. I was battling homelessness last year and I was sleeping on the floor at one of my sister’s apartments and she made me feel so terrible for being there. My family has just bullied and traumatized me all of my life, i’m just not even sure why I still naturally just expect them to act like my family one day.