as a joyless 20 year old running soley on fumes and adhd and mild asbergers i personally just want a better life not one thats set out for me, i'm forced to go to a mental health vocational rehab and work, im not my own guardian my prissy mother is who has made me live like her or worse like a kid in the 60s, cant drive, i have a cunt of a shared living provider, and all the people who i know to be beneath me are doing better then ever and making leaps and strides with life and it irritates the shit out of me that i'm alone in this fight to make a better life for myself because nobody can help me i'm erratic i'm terrible at expressing myself and i dont know what to do 

it can be worse having the potiential to have a future and then proceed to feel limited in pursuing anything because of everything weighing you down i'm dealt a shitty hand and i try to work with it but time and time again inconsistency shines through, i have no idea what to do i try my hardest to not compare myself with others but thats where my motivation comes from which time and time again just disolves because of masturbation and video games and just doing more and more destructive behaviors, and i don't feel normally but recent events reminded me that i'm not going anywhere with anyone in control of my life but i sure as shit can't save myself because i dont know how and i have nobody to help me i have one friend who i relate to the most and again somehow life just worked out for him i dont even know what more to do though