I've become the person I said I wouldn't....Lying to my fiancee about my drinking....


I'm a complete piece of shit. I went to the hospital last night complaining of suicidal thoughts and was left all alone in a room for 4 hours and managed to lose the rest of my meds (which i cannot afford anyway) and just walked out cause being there wasn't doing me any good at al and clearly the staff didn't want to deal with me.


i just need to vent. i don't know what tomorrow is going to be like. im scared of the future. i've never been scared of my future before.

its getting worse. i'm getting worse