Need some advice here...I have consciously made a horrible decision, for very selfish reasons. 

I've been exposed to covid through a family member but chose to see a romantic partner instead of isolating for the full 5 days. Now, I know he has three kids and is also a teacher and coach. The potential flow on impact of him contracting covid is huge. HUGE. 

I've justified doing this by telling myself: I've tested negative so far and have no symptoms, it's been 4 days since last direct exposure to the positive person (ok, more like 3.25) and we're both triple vax'd.

The reason why I chose to do this: sex. We only see each other every 2-3 weeks and I didn't want to wait that long.

I obsessed about this decision leading up to it, and kept finding myself dismissing any worry about him getting covid. I knew it was a bad decision, but didn't 'feel' the full impact of making it at the time. I felt no guilt. 

I did, however, tell him about the potential exposure so he could make his own decision. 

So yes, last night we met up and had a lovely evening. This morning he texted that he'd been vomiting all morning. Now, I know symptoms almost never show up until 2 days after exposure and vomiting isn't usually one of the first signs. But I am MORTIFIED I've given it to him.

And the other scary thing is, I'm not just worried about him or any of his close contacts getting it...it's that this will impact how he sees me.

I am such a bad person. I know this was incredibly reckless, for so many people. Why do I make such selfish decisions - and what do I do if he is indeed positive??