I'm sorry to the ones who love me who wonder how I'm doing this year. I'm sorry for not replying to texts or returning calls, for not giving the least possible effort. It's not you, it's me, and there are more of you who love me than I think there are.

I'm sorry, roommates, if you think I don't want to be part of the cozy household we have. We've been best friends since high school, you took me in when I needed help the most, and over time I've become distant and a hermit.

But most of all, I'm apologizing to myself. The past, present, and future. I'm sorry I always let you down, sabotage every opportunity to climb out of the hole. 

I'm sorry for always being sorry.

I don't want my life to end, though, and am always hopeful for the future. I am not broke, hungry, or in need of anything except some chemical balance and good habits.

I'm also sorry if this isn't the right place to post this. I just really need to put it out there.