I've missed some days off work recently as I made the genius decision to taper off a combination of lithium, seroquil, and lamotrogine. I feel like a bag of dicks (however I did manage to get a late appointment to see my Dr, get my scripts sorted and some much needed damage control done). 

My workplace has steadily become more toxic and unpleasant, which made my decision to get out of my car and head back inside too easy. I literally was up at 5am, changed for work and outside ready to commute when I suddenly said fuck this. When I go to work next week it's going to be pretty ugly as the director of the company stated in a zoom meeting to all the staff that he had been 'kicked in the guts by too many staff taking days off when they are not really sick'. Awesome. 

I have a certificate from my psychiatrist for my absence but I just dont believe I will be taken seriously. I think I will need to have a sit down with my managers and inform with what's going on. I think that's the best I can do right now, if they don't want to believe me that's on them, it shouldn't be my job to convince them of anything. I just hope I'm not going to be discrimated against, there is a shit track record of this. A former employee was absent from work for 3 weeks in January as he was hospitalised for severe depression and anxiety. He told the 2 most senior members about his situation but one of them has a really big mouth. Next thing that happened is that over 30 people knew intimate details of his personal life and medical history. I felt like absolute dog shit, he let me know what he was going through but the grapevine had reached me long before he reached out to me. He was positive that his absence was noted as a physical injury (he plays a lot of sport and always has broken bones, so it made sense) but I had to lie and reassure him that nobody else knew-but everybody did, the entire company knew his private and confidential circumstances.

There is a good chance that this could happen to me. I have disclosed my condition to my manager at work except in a half arsrd dnm I had with him once. I got this typical piece of response 'oh yes, I too have been suspected of being bipor'. At least once a week he asks 'what's wrong with me?' or he tells me that in fucked in the head. It's not malicious is just casual workplace bullying, but it's obvious that he doesn't seem to care.

Fwiw I work in construction where no one has a clue about how to handle mental health issues, there's no real support or trusted staff member I can turn to. Also I'm not proclaiming to be completely innocent in all of this, I failed  my duty to show up and tell anyone because I just didn't know how to appropriately do so. 

Thanks for reading!