Title pretty much sums it up.

I realized a few years ago that I couldn't return to my career as it was too taxing emotionally (high anxiety is just one issue that stems from ptsd) and its been hard to think about how that part of my life was over. So, after being a stay-at-home dad through most of the pandemic, I decided I needed get back to work. Nothing major, just a part-time job so I'd get out of the house (besides errand running) and not become too much of a homebody. 

Found out my little local hardware store was hiring part-time cashiers. I figured that'd be a decent fit (I used to do a lot of carpentry). Of course just the idea of putting myself into the job market again was making me anxious, to the point where it took almost a week to psych myself up to go.

I go inside, its fairly busy. Someone was making key copies so it was noisy too. I pick up a few things I need and wait in line. As the guy (if not the owner he was the manager) was ringing me up I asked about the cashier position. He couldn't hear me so I had to speak loudly and he, also loudly, informed me that I was "too young". I'm in my 40's and I thought he was joking, but then he explained the part-time cashier positions are seasonal, so they prefer to hire kids on are on break. For the floor positions they prefer "older folk". The only thing I could think to say was "You're serious?" and he just shrugged. 

So I just left the store, completely mortified, and convinced everyone in the store heard. Drove home thinking that they probably have a good laugh later. I usually go there for basic supplies because its close to home, but now I feel like I wont be able to show my face there. 

All that worry and stress, all for the guy to just shrug and say: "nah, we wouldn't hire you". I feel pitiful.