Hi,

I have BPD and traits of OCD, I have applied to med school months ago which is ironic of me whilst hoping to be a psychiatrist in the future and give the best care to those who suffer from mental illnesses and having someone to understand, I haven't received any offers yet after my med school interviews from my applied med schools which is so mentally draining. I have been waiting for months. Would my BPD/OCD interfere with my practise in medicine? Am I making a bad choice? Will I be judged for having BPD and other mental illnesses whilst being a doctor?

At the same time, having the uncertainty of being accepted or not which mentally screws me up, I don't know what career path I suit, I don't know what career path I identify with, I struggle coming to terms with my own identity because I don't even understand my own identity. I have thought of mixing other STEM degrees with my medicine degree if I get in just to fill my own identity and trying to do what I think is right.. I've had people tell me that I'm also not suited for being a doctor. I am also only 18.

At times I also struggle with empathy.. this is a recent thing, I can be OVERLY empathetic and get attached and feel hurt by other people's suffering and then at times I feel disconnected from my own emotions and just numb it out and not care in a way? This fluctuates all the time.