F18. 

I’m tired. I’m tired of nothing getting better. I had hopes for my future self. I was hoping that I would get a little better, that I would find something that would make me happy. 

That I would find the hobby or a job that I wanted to dedicate my life. That I’d meet someone who wouldn’t leave me and appreciate me. I was hoping I’d find friends when I graduated from school, that I’d be a better version of myself. But years go by and I stay the same, and my life is just as awful no matter how hard I try. 

I’m even learning a profession that I hate and that’s why I’m a terrible student. But because of my parents, I can’t leave it. 

Everyone I’ve known with a bad life has gotten better or at least know what to do with life. I don’t have any opportunities to improve my life, I’m tired of pretending everything’s okay with my few internet friends that have a good life. They wouldn't understand. 

I think it’s my fate to suffer and be irrelevant.