As I deal with my BPD in a more focused and present way, I’ve become increasingly aware of my tendency to say, feel, or imagine negative things in a reactionary way that, while good to release and get out, almost always immediately makes me feel the drain, the guilt, the shame and the ‘sorry’s for things I can’t take back.  

I also have a tendency to need to be right or to correct misinformation I hear.  My autism spectrum condition and occasional lack of empathy / social awareness doesn’t help with this.

My partner is super understanding, but I tend to find that almost always after a minute or 5 passes, I’m over the situation / I don’t feel the same about it anymore / I’m not resistant to the change / I realize it didn’t matter at all if I was right or not.  Sometimes when i don’t get it out it feels like I’m going to fucking explode.  But obviously getting it is worse than suffering.  

I also feel like if I don’t say anything at all, I’m hiding my feelings and omitting then, not being transparent with my partner.  

Does anyone have any advice on how to get over this stuff? To stop taking everything so personally and seriously, to die on every meaningless hill, to just be so exhaustingly exhausting.  

Thanks for reading 💪🏼