I hate “growth mindset” even though I believe in it



It always makes me so irrationally upset and emotional. I guess I "naturally" have a very fixed mindset or at least I automatically think in a fixed mindset way even when I recognize the truth of the “growth mindset.” But whenever I read about growth mindset it really angers — even enrages — me and makes me feel like I’m a lazy shit person and basically everything is my fault and everyone else should be judging me and any suffering I feel is my own fault. Oh it also makes me feel like I should be working on every part of myself and settling for mediocrity is always bad. It makes me feel like all of my weaknesses are personal choices I’m making which I guess is true but considering the number of flaws and weaknesses I have is just overwhelming and fills me with pain and guilt. Everything is my fault and if I struggle or fail I feel like growth mindset is right there yelling in my ear: “your just not trying hard enough you could be as good as any of these people if you weren’t such a lazy morally rotten piece of crap but even that is a choice! Despicable! You cause all your own suffering and it’s a choice! Look at those people! They are not only happier than you and more successful but they are morally superior too because they have a growth mindset and you don’t you lazy piece of shit who wants to blame all your problems on external factors like brain chemistry!"