Last year, I was talking to this girl i liked,that I've known for the past 4 years(we were hanging out for about a week at summer holidays) and we were chatting the whole day and having meaningful conversations and exchanging secrets that we've never said to anyone else. I was crushing hard over this girl the whole time and I wasn't sure if she liked me back, but we kept chatting as I liked her personality a lot. Fast forward to this summer,she said she was visiting my town and that she wants to meet up. I was so excited and was considering making a move,but was too nervous to do so. Long story short we met up and we ended up making out and then having some short sort of a romantic connection but not a relationship( as she said she wasn't looking for one). After a while I wasn't comfortable with just this connection as she had made it clear that this thing we had wasn't exclusive and I speculated she was seeing other guys. We had a conversation and ended up splitting because of this. We kept in touch(same lengthy daily conversations) but still had this kind of romantic bond even after the conversation. After many times of this bond starting and ending (and a bit more but I am too lazy to type),we stopped talking entirely(she stopped texting). I was still in love with this girl,but I thought that it was for the best since we weren't getting what we were looking for. I thought we ended on good terms and I was sad over this for the past  few months. Fast forward to yesterday,I uploaded an Instagram story and was checking the people that have viewed my story. I was surprised to see that she haven't viewed it at all,so out of curiosity, I checked to see if she was still following me on Instagram,and much to my surprise,she didn't. At that very moment my heart broke and I began bawling my eyes out,since this person meant so much to me and I thought we were on good terms. Worst of all is that as a self-destructive person, I was always blaming myself for this whole thing ending and was finding excuses to excuse her actions and now I find out that I am not even good enough to get even the bit of closure as to why I was abandoned like that. Now all I feel is worthless ,not only as I was abandoned,but because months have passed since we stopped talking but I still can't seem to get over this. I am ashamed to talk to my friends about this,because everyone just say that I should just move on,but If I knew how,trust me I would. I was always bad at letting people go and this is no different. I just feel so bad right now and I needed to get this off to someone that won't judge me. Sorry for my whining,I wish this post atleast helps someone that reads it.