I lost a parent that I was extremely close with two years ago, lost virginity by rape 10 days after the loss, dealt with rape and different sexual assault a couple more times the following months, lost my baby kitten, and I foundout my dad AND Nana (my Nana raised me) have cancer now. I also have minor chronic health problems along with being in one of the most toxic/abusive relationships that I didn't even think was possible. I could finally leave it now but we've been together for so long and he made me dependent on him, its so hard to leave. He's all I have tbh, so I can't leave. I have no friends because of him except people I secretly message when I get the chance.

My depression/anxiety have gotten so bad that I've barely gotten out of bed in 3 weeks now. All I do is smoke and it doesn't help anymore. My life was ruined 2 years ago when my Papa died. I'm only 20 and all this bs happened within two years. Idek why I'm posting, I just really really need to vent. I'm so bipolar now and going fucking insane.