

Yes i know that medication alone does not solve any problem but i tried sport, meditation, mindfulness. Its just like something is broken in my soul and it feels like the damage is irreversible. Back when i was younger 18-24/25 not everyday was so dark, ok im still young im 28 but i cant deal with that anymore. I see all the people it seems like they are laughing and just living their lives, why i am overthinking everything and cant JUST BE, like before. I heard a lot of antidepressants just numbs you so the pain is not so unbearable but i just want to feel ALIVE again. When the pain gets too much i turn silent, i dont want to talk to anyone, trying to distract myself with goin to the gym, meeting friends( i have 3,4 childhood friends), i go to parties and everything but nothing gives me joy anymore. Sometimes i think thats just the way i am and that its okay not to laugh everyday or smile everyday. 
So when somebody had good results and got their life back please try to help me.
I tried wellbutrin but it made me anxious and really weird feeling so i stopped. I got an appointment in 1 week with my psychiatrist. What can she prescribe me that gives me my life back?