Tomorrow morning i'm going to take a very impprtant test. I'm already 100% certain that i'm not going to make it. That i'm going to have to explain to everyone, why i didn't make it. I'll have to explain to my parents why i failed again. And there is another year wasted. I'm 25 years old and really struggled to get anything done in the last 10 years because of my severe depression. No doctor and meds could help me.
If i pass this test tomorrow, i'll be able to work my dream job ... if don't pass ... that's probably the last thing i'll ever do. They'll tell me, that i didn't make it, i'll go home and just stay there. And then i'll just wait for the courage to finally do it ... and that's that.
Knowing full well, that the only thing, that gave me any kind of purpose in the last couple of months is just going to be taken away by some examiner is really soulcrushing. But that's how it's going to go down

Wish me luck! I'll need it