I hate that I must look for dopamine, I hate that I ruin relationships because of it, I told my my monagamous date I need to have more people around me to be sexual and emotional with or i'll behave bad, I won't thrives in our relationship. I always need the kicks or i'll get bored, I think I am very selfish too and struggle with empathising, I act alot my emotions are very flat, no matter who I am with. I am just very sceptical or is it something wrong with me? I might seem very out of the place now I just feel like I can't enjoy anything I crave dopamine! I have the addiction mentality but never been taking any form of drugs, no smoke, no nicotine, no drugs, nothing, I am reactive, impulsive. I hate myself. I isolate because everything feels meaningless, will I ever be able to have a relationship with someone who can take this?