So I I am posting this because I need to get this off my chest and I need awnsers. So I am 14 years old a very bad speller as you can tell. I have been homeschooled sieance I was in 5th grade I have autism live in a county with a population of 5000 people and I live out in the country. Some times I fell like a failure. I only have one friend he is also homeschooled. I go to two youth groups as well as church.  I fell depressed and lonely. my friend gose to my church and the two youth groups. He is the only kid my age that really seems to speak to me and carry on a conversation with me.  Sometimes I fell angry when I see  boys and girls my age together because I assume they are boyfriend and girlfriend or they are at least spending time with each other. I have a crush on this one girl but she is already taken. she is the only girl I have known long enouth to consider starting a relationship with her. I really do deeply love her.  Ione time I asked her out but she did not want to talk in private about it so I had to ask her in front of the guy that just happened to be her boyfriend. I did not know that at the time. I felt very angry at my self I went to a quite spot and cried because I just felt like a failure.  I still am trying to be nice to her and impress her. she is still nice to me as well. I had considered asking girls out before but they all figured out that I liked them by my actions and they said they were taken already. I only knew these other girls barley and for a short time. My friend's parents will not let him stay home alone and they are buissie a lot so he has to go with them places. So that means I usaley have to go places with my mom. my dad works a lot and when he is home he sits in his shed all day. he has depprestion. I get sick of going places with my mom all the time. So I was wondering if I have a mental illness.