Ok I just wanted to share how proud I am of myself because to anyone else it would seem ridiculous. So my bf went out today with all his mates day drinking  (pubs have re opened in the uk, they had it planned for a while)and normally I would be a nervous wreck. Like literally sweating and shaking and splitting a lot, feeling betrayed and left out and jealous. I am usually okay until the early morning as my bf and our friends tend to stay out for ages drinking etc 
 
But this time I felt calm. Like my normal self. My mum has been staying with me and helping me move as I’ve just moved so I’ve been with her for a few days and it’s really put me in a positive mood. I saw today for what it is: my bf spending time with his mates. I didn’t panic or worry about what could happen. I got on with my day and me and my mum went for dinner and it was lovely. My bf messaged me at 11ish saying he decided to leave and go home because he is sick of the lifestyle his friends lead and didn’t want to stick around staying up for days. This was completely his decision and not influenced by me at all. I’ve been so normal and relaxed all day it’s almost a shock to me. I can only hope this continues in the future. I’m just so dang happy with myself atm 🥺