Hi guys. I rarely post on reddit so if I mess up, go easy, but here it goes.
I've had depression for over 10 years now, I've never even gone through my teenage years healthy, let alone adulthood, but I'm 21 and finally on proper medication and finally starting to feel like a person.
I also have a very severe shellfish allergy, and today I had a reaction so bad it nearly killed me, but here's the kicker, I was absolutely TERRIFIED and now I don't know how to process it.
I've had brushes with dying before, but they've all either been self inflicted, or I've felt peace knowing it would be over soon, I've never felt this feeling of actually being afraid of death and wanting to stay. 
I can't properly articulate to my support network how much this has affected my mental health, because they keep telling me that it's normal to be scared of the event, but it's not almost dying that's scared me, it's the new feeling of not wanting to go.  I always knew where I stood when I was more ill, because even though it was shit, at least it was predictable you know? I don't like the new feelings, and part of me doesn't want to get better if it means I'm being scared of getting hurt or dying, I don't want to be afraid in my last moments.
I guess what I'm trying to ask is; have any of you dealt with something similar, and if so how did you come to terms with the scary new feelings that come about because of positive healing? Is this normal?
TL;DR What do I do when wanting to live is scarier to me than wanting to die?