Note: I'm not angry, im indifferent to this now. to be honest, i dont know why i decided to write this

it's been a while ago now (28th feb). But it was shit. No one cared no one specifically said happy birthday and i try to live by the "no one owes you shit" mentality. Then one friend did out of pity so i was like fuck it. I stayed in my room, my mum called and I tried so hard not to put my rage on her. Then started daydreaming, either thinking about how good if i had died or if I could actually leave all the people and start again. It's not fun, my mum can't look at me the same (HER SON HAS ISSUES) and looking at everyone makes me cringe, it's not the same anymore. Throughout my life i was faking it, even when i was younger. I remember questioning myself at school at the age of 9 why i was faking my happy perfect personality. I think when I'm financially stable I'll go MIA and start again. Might be irrational but there are not many cons to this. life is pretty shit, along with the people.