It seems like people are falling at my feet when I'm indifferent towards them and then the moment I actually \*feel\* like I need them to love me, they just disappear or say I'm too much. 

Is this just how people are?

Is mutual love and affection not a thing? Is it just a fantasy that keeps ruining my life and letting me down?

I feel like the only way to live is not to love and not to let myself be loved because the moment I do is when people quit caring.