this isn't me splitting or anything i have actual evidence from non-bpd people that my fp is genuinely tiring to be around, i was wondering if anyones had the same experience? context; this person was my lover for a really long amount of time (8+ years) and we have recently stopped dating, but remained friends. I still love them, not romantically but in a really personal way, i want them to be happy. But god. Talking to them is really really challenging. I dont think i've ever actually enjoyed spending time with them in the first place, i dont really remember even having that strong of feelings romantically towards them at all. We are virtually opposites of eachother and nothing they say particularly interests me, i've had other friends call them 'mean' and 'boring' and at first i would take offense to it but now that im paying attention, they never say ANYTHING interesting at all, and is rude to a lot of my friends over nothing? The only conversation we've had in the last couple of months was about how they're doing in school or their new friend that they have a crush on which is totally fine but we never talk about anything else at all. There mightve been some variety at first because we were so new to each other and super young and everything was just really nice and fun at the beginning but holy fuck, if i dont make any attempts at interesting conversation it would really sound like we were background npcs in a shitty video game. Even if i do try to add variety to the conversation they change the subject back to whatever boring thing we've already have a thousand discussions about. I'm thinking about it now and its literally been the exact same way since we were kids. It might've felt special at one point but the oldest conversation i remember us having was about the FUCKING WEATHER. Even more relevant: me, a black person, and them, a dark skinned Puerto Rican, we havent had a single conversation about the state of the country right now. I bring it up and they change the subject to the most blandest shit. I sent a message including links to to bail funds and other ways to help and try to start conversation with them and they respond by saying "Okay thanks" and then sending a picture of a fucking 'cool' rock they found in their backyard? Why the fuck did i have such a strong attachment to this person???  Why the fuck do i STILL feel such a violent attachment to this person??