Back story: I used to have a boss who was also borderline. I was in love with him and he used that against me. He told me he didn’t care that he had a long term girlfriend, he loved people flirting with him and flirting back and cheating on her with these people. He said it was the nicest form of validation he could’ve ever had. I didn’t know he still had a girlfriend when I met him again a year later and he told me all of this after we kissed. I felt disgusted and angry with him and cut him out of my life

Now I see where he’s coming from. I used to not believe in “work wives” or “work husbands” because I felt like they were just one step away from having an affair. At work I can’t stop flirting with men just to have the attention. And I feel disgusted with myself, also suicidal because I just want to stop being a bad person. I have a boyfriend who I love tremendously and I don’t know what to do. I feel guilty even talking to people now because I feel like I betray him. I have so many emotions I can’t control because I just get a high from the validation that people love me and think I’m cute. What do I even do?