The responsibilities of school and work were crushing me these past few months. It’s finally winter break and I have far less I need to do, but the weight of being alive is still crushing me. The thought of doing any task is so overwhelming. When I think about having to go back to school, having to see other people, having to live my life, I get so overwhelmed. Having to be a person is too much. Every time I think about my own past or my own present or my own future I breakdown. Externally there’s almost nothing wrong but I can’t stand to be mentally present in my life. It’s too much. There’s nothing there and it’s still too much. It’s still crushing me.