On the wall until  it bleeds.  I hate that I'm so slow dumb and unable to understand  what I'm  reading. I wish I could  overrdose  medicine that will make my mind sharper and I want  my mind to be the sharpest.  I want to overstudy.  I want to  be study 48 hrs straight no break, no food.  I wish i could  do that.   Hate myself