I don't even know what to write here this is my first time ever opening up about my depression I've pretended that it's not there for the past 4 years and would put on a smile all the time so people close to me wouldn't worry cos being asked 'hey is everything okay' gives me so much anxiety but at the end of the day I feel sad and like fundamentally as a person I'm broken because of my past interactions with family and over people close to me .