Last night I had a dream about being in a relationship with some guy. He was quite attractive and had all the personality qualities I desire in a partner.

Today I felt a little lonely, because that relationship wasn't real. It forced me to take a look at myself. I'm in no state to have a real relationship. I need to fix a lot of things about my life before that could happen. So, I made a plan to lose the Seroquel weight gain. Then made a list of the other things I need to fix (like getting a car and a stable income.) I felt pretty good looking over my plans and lists, but still a little lonely.

Then it hit me, am I hypomanic leading into mania? Do I intend to make any of these changes? Will sudden confidence come over me that says I'm perfect how I am so I rush into a relationship with the first toxic person I meet? Perhaps just hop into whatever bed I find, again and again and again?

I don't know what to do and I suppose I just needed to vent a little and hear from others who have felt this way.