Man I can't keep up I'm way behind educationally and can't focus on studying it makes me want to throw my self off a fuckijg bridge it's like i can't learn anything new i can't imagine even successfully applying for a meaningless grocery store job my social skills are next to non existent i fail every relationship i attempt 
I had a promising relationship with a man that could have been my boyfriend but i didn't try hard enough to push though all my neurotic avpd bull shit i miss him so much and i know he doesn't want to hear from me it hurts i have nobody that knows me at all it feels pointless to keep going on like this