I met someone at work and we became extremely good friends and chatted constantly for many many months, eventually she pushed me away after I confessed feelings that complicated our lives. She blocked me on everything. We were both in relationships at the time. It didn’t seem possible. I discover during this this period that she has BPD. Fast forward to today and we’re both freshly available. She’ll expresses interest by exchanging songs with me, but will not actually open up or make herself available for actual conversation or time. I totally understand this to be within the vein of BPD and can appreciate that intellectually and personally, so I don’t mind. It makes sense that she’s fearful and I strongly know that’s valid. I don't want to push her. I know she's timid and tender when it comes to emotions and it's necessary to go very slowly. I even made this observation to her when we chatted, and told her I thought it was cute. I do want to guide her towards personal growth and would like us to be together. But I do worry. I would very much like to have a relationship with her. I think we’d be great together. I worry her insecurities are so heavy that she won’t allow us to happen. Sadly this happens all the time in the world, not just in the BPD space (and not just in romantic relationships), but throughout life. Where people stunt blossoming to an occasion because the conditions just aren’t right and they’re fearful, insecure, and somehow unskilled at the moment. And I’d hate for that to be so. But I do begin to wonder if she actually genuinely wants a relationship with me or just loves the idea of me. Loves that I care deeply, the understanding, persistence, patience and so on. That she likes the boost this gives her. I fear I’m just some piece in some karmic mirror dance she’s doing with her past. That she doesn’t actually want me. She just wants to see some things that I symbolize to her and that’s about  it, no real depth of desire for a relationship. I fear this and it’s fair for me to wonder. Maybe she doesn’t actually want me that way. Maybe she doesn’t want to straight up squash it because it is somehow reassuring and allows her some personal growth from examining this and flirting with the idea. I guess my ranting question is, does anyone have similar experience? Can a many month pecking flirt without any real conversing come to anything serious? I fear the timing just isn’t right, or that behind all the self discovering this allows her there isn’t anything genuinely there. That she just doesn’t want to kill such an affection towards her.