Whenever I start feeling something close to goodness it makes me feel sick because I think about every horrible that could happen to ruin that goodness. It’s an endless cycle. I am in a near constant state of bleakness and stress and fear. Then when I start to relax and realize life is pretty peaceful I start to feel even worse because I think it’s too good to be true and something horrible is definitely going to happen. Does anyone else know what I mean?