I am enjoying a new period of stability and peace in my life, been some months. Instead of being completely secluded in my  hole, I have started going out to public spaces or with friends. I have started feeling happy.

I am not complaining but I feel disoriented and dizzy more often. A rush of euphoria comes with disorientation, erratic behaviour or incoherent speech (according to others). I've been too focused coping with negative thoughts that I am completely clueless to coping with positive thoughts.

As much as I hate it, I might have to give those mood stabilizers and anti-psychotics another try. At this point, even I can tell it's  dangerous to be disoriented and unfocused outside. I am a dude and simply walking without direction disoriented triggers people to call police or guards on me.