
Well I got super worried tonight because my mother has got a spine problem now. (it's super severe) I've got a lot of anxiety now about being orphaned. They are going to die soon and my head is telling me awful stuff, and I want to cry. My uncle (who was a similar age) started to get that. It started with a fall, and it got worse and worse. With alcohol overdose, then it led to death. They are 70, they are going to die soon before I can truly live.

I'm worried for the future and I sometimes wish I was never born. My true parents gave me up when I was born, so nothing but negativity fills my head. If you run away here, you'll get nothing but endless fields. There's no shops or houses. They sold the best house in the world for one in the middle of nowhere, the stupidest people in the world, they can't provide home or an education. I'm just feeling truly sickened by it,and I don't know what to do. I don't go to school here, no one speaks my language, I don't have any friends or siblings to talk with. I'm extremely isolated. I can't do GCSES here, a job or a car.