We are literally at the core of my trauma now. It's so scary!!!

I'm self-isolating for 2 weeks now, completely. Before that I was not able to put up boundaries. I was fake, just wanted to be accepted, did what others wanted, didn't say no and so on. After becoming so painfully aware of that I wasn't able to socialise anymore. I don't want to be like that anymore! I get into actual dangerous situations because of that. It's dangerous for my body and my mind.

Now I have a task: talk on the phone with a friend. Say that you are done with the talking after 10 minutes because you don't want to talk on the phone anymore. And then follow through.

It's so scary. I'm literally shaking. And it's such a "small" situation. I think this will be the biggest challenge of my recovery. 

Stop cutting? Sure. Stop abusing all the drugs? Okay. But this???? The first time I feel a big "NO NO NO NO". 

But it's progress. Good progress.