Hi everyone, 

I am having a lot of trouble with my mental health since I started a new graduate accounting position about two months ago. I am an extremely introverted person and any kind of social gathering fills me with terror and drains all my energy so I typically avoid them. However for my new job I am expected to attend a Christmas function next month and I have to travel next year for training in two different cities. I can’t stand being away from home and being in unfamiliar places freaks me out - it’s a recipe for a mental breakdown for me. 
The stress from this new role has already caused an increase in hallucinations and derealization episodes and I feel absolute dread and even have suicidal thoughts when I think about traveling or having to spend a weekend at a Christmas function with about 50 people I hardly know. 

I dont know what to do I feel like I’m spiraling out of control. I’m too scared to tell my manager because I’m worried it will affect my pay rises in the future. But I also don’t want my mental health to get so bad that I’m too sick to work anymore because it’s honestly getting to that point. Should I talk to my doctor about getting medical leave from these events? I am starting to question whether this career choice is even the right one for me due to the way it has impacted my health with an increase in responsibilities. What would you do if you were in this situation?