I don’t know how to turn this off. I don’t know how to stop freezing and ruminating and internally panicking when any little noise is “off”. I’m very self-aware of my anxiety. I can “talk myself down” by justifying noises and acknowledging that regardless of the outcome I have no control over this (so why stress now). But it doesn’t stop me from thinking about it non-stop and my heart racing and my thoughts spiraling in my own head. I keep checking in with family for my own sanity to make sure they feel okay but I’m 99% sure they wouldn’t tell me if they didn’t Bc I’d panic internally and they know it. Which doesn’t help me Bc their reassurance no longer works when I know they won’t tell me the truth. 


I’m vaccinated and so is everyone close to me. We take precautions seriously but accidents happen. I’m not really worried about myself getting sick (other than spreading it to others) because I’m relatively young and healthy. But I’m fucking horrified of my parents and close family getting it. I don’t know what to do but in the peak of COVID last year this drove me insane and now that COVID is peaking again I can feel myself slipping and I can’t do another year feeling like this.