I just don't understand. I workout, I eat properly, but it's never enough. I'm always tired, my mind is racing, I have trouble sleeping, I get too scared of small things such as just social interaction, my hands are always shaking, headaches for just small things such as hanging out with people. I hate it. This thing is the biggest reason why we broke up. I feel like a robot that's always malfunctioning.

Is there really a cure for this? I want to try therapy, but it really feels all so physical. I keep counting things, having rituals and routines and now I'm always sad after we broke up. I can never just get a good night sleep, no matter what I do. I have goals but I'm always too much of a weakling to ever get to them. I just want to get over this and become better, become healthy, become like every single other person who just doesn't give a shit about anything and can deal with their life like it's a basic math problem. I hate that I have to have this after everything I've been through. I just want to be normal