I’m not saying this in a depressing way, nothing happened I’m just sitting here thinking. I want to live, I’m not suicidal, but my actions hurt others around me so badly. Why should I keep living? It’s mental torture for me AND everyone I interact with. 
No one on this sub has talked about how bad their BPD Was but then they made it better. It doesn’t seem to happen a lot. I hit my boyfriend. Im physically and emotionally abusive. 
Even if it gets better, for what? I’m finna die anyways and might as well save myself and everyone the trouble.