I am a 35 year old Mom of 2 who has lived with anxiety since I was diagnosed at age 9. I've been on and off medication throughout those years, my longest being on one specific medication for 9 years. It was awful getting off of it so I am hesitant to start again. I think I need to get help soon though. I admittedly have health anxiety. My worst fear is getting sick with an incurable disease and leaving my 2 young kids behind. 

I decided recently to get my health back in check. I started to exercise and eat well. I'm down almost 20 lbs in 2 months. One night about a month ago I was just walking on my treadmill when I had a large heart palpitation followed by chest and upper back pain. This continued to happen every night until finally a week and half later I decided I need to go get this checked. I hate the Doctor so I avoid it as much as I can. I did an EKG, chest x-ray, bloodwork and echocardiogram, all came back normal. 

I decided to get a well women check as well and my gynecologist found 2 lumps in one of my breasts. I have been in a lot of pain, my chest, upper back and breast all hurt very badly. She tried to reassure me that cancer doesn't hurt, but I know it can from friends and family who have been diagnosed. I go for a mammogram and ultrasound on Friday and I am beyond terrified. My anxiety is insane right now. I can't sleep, barley eating, having a ton of breakdowns and catastrophic thoughts. I already suffer from medical anxiety so this is a nightmare coming to life. 

I keep googling every possible outcome to try and ease my mind, but it's becoming an obsession at this point. I am having a hard time working, not only because of the pain but because of my mental health crumbling. I honestly don't know what I need from the post, just to vent and maybe some advice on how to calm down until I know for sure what the diagnosis is. Than you for your time.