I started a new job in the summer and my boss is very... different from what I'm used to. Not very organized, spacey, but also very demanding of others. I'm very independent and autonomous. It's an office of two and we started working remotely mid-January due to the Covid spike. Last week, she reached out in a Zoom call and said she was uncomfortable with signing off on my timesheet because I hadn't responded to her emails fast enough and that my "status" wasn't always on so she couldn't verify my presence for all 8 hours. I had to ask for clarification, and learned she was referring to the status on Microsoft Teams and how it syncs with Outlook email and calendar. She was also upset I was sending my daily summaries late in the night (2-3 times they were sent the next morning, to be transparent) and not at 5 that day. I was completely caught off guard with her concerns.

She never told me she expected me to use Teams in that way. I will be very honest, I never signed in to Teams because we don't use it for messaging. There are lots of people in this company who don't have their Outlook synced in this way and it was not a practice we have ever done or talked about. We work right beside each other in the office and go HOURS without responding to reach other's emails or, we just pop in and out to discuss. I never considered to change that habit while working from home. I guess that's on me and I'll admit that. I never checked if Outlook had my status on. Our unit is very "work with your supervisor and do what works best" when working remotely. So, there isn't a specific protocol in place and she just makes decisions for me off the cuff but it's never recorded anywhere, until this took place. She sent a follow-up email to say that the Zoom conversation was a "warning", but wouldn't go to HR if I fixed things, and that it wasn't my quality of work she questioned, but my hours at work.

Work is a huge part of my identity and I am absolutely devestated. Now, I'm terrified of leaving my laptop because my status goes "away" after 5 minutes. I'm scared of taking longer than exactly one hour for lunch, or logging on at 8:01, or sending my daily summary at 4:49. In the office, it's very laissez-faire and she often comes in 15-20 minutes late, takes 1 1/2 hours lunches. I don't have the same habits, but I feel like she's accused me of lying/stealing and it's almost unbearable. I start spinning out of control; worried that she can just decide that she doesn't like something I'm doing and go to HR. I'm terrified of talking to her, and no one else who has worked with her can keep it from getting back to her. I could go to her boss, but I'm afraid he will think it's "below his paygrade" and then she'll find out I went over her head and retaliate. I feel so helpless. Please, any advice on where to go from here would be VERY APPRECIATED.