 Got bulied in middle and highschool, lost grandmother, uncle, grandfather, (which we shared same name and surname) some of my buddies died. Cut our ties with releatives due to blood feud, because of heritage my grandfather has left and now they want to evict us from the house we live in, the only person and girl that tried to cheer me up after those events, the only girl fell in love in my whole life. Has made a decision to stick with the person, which I gave everything, a.k.a son of bitch best friend which I know him for about 15 years, he took everything from me, crippled my self confidence, erased   
 my happines, took my friends, just about everything and we are in same private school. This is my last try to get into university and I can't focus on anything. Everything I do is in vain. I forgot last time I smiled. I am dead but still alive for my family. I just don't know. I am starting to go insane. All I got is my family and thats partly true. I see no reason to live since my mother started treating me like an adopted child. I don't think I have courage to kill myself but still my mind is full of destructive thoughts,trying to slice my hands punching to wall till my knuckles are numb and bleeding. At this point, I'm  just praying to God, to kill me. Please help me.