I’m genuinely lonely. No really. I am. No amount of good talk will make me normal. No phrase will make everything make sense and make me normal. I am wasting money on this bodybuilding journey that I can’t even make friends in . I have 0 genuine friends . I have no one who is still truly gets me. No. There are those like me that will never make it nor get it. I don’t belong among the depressed bc even then I’m too quiet. Always the outsider. Always the observer. Never the doer.
I’m only a background character to my story-meaning if it’s not my story maybe I should end it so I don’t have to suffer in the wrong timeline.