My fiance is so sweet to me. He understands me so much better than he used to and still makes an effort to figure out more stuff about my behavior. 

I know it might just be a BPD thing but we clicked instantly (yes for him too). We instantly spent so much time together and felt like within the first few days that we were something special. And it's taken a few years of learning and adapting to each other but we are pretty used to each other at this point. We're at that Marshal/Lily level of understanding. 

My jealously and paranoia is rarely even an issue anymore. Yeah, I still get there but it's no longer a hot burning ball in my chest. I tell myself "I'm sure it's nothing, he's never done anything like before." I can actually enjoy my day while waiting for him to come home so we can talk. And it's probably because I dont feel bad about asking the dumb questions, because I know he isnt taking them personally. Even if something I ask is REALLY out there, he understands I'm just asking to calm that little voice in my head and that I don't really think he would hurt me like that.

Whenever we would fight in the past, I felt bad because I was afraid I was betraying that part of myself that believed we were perfect for each other, but that's not what it means. Trust doesn't just exist there from the beginning, especially for BPD's. You need time to learn it. You need time to adapt to each other and learn about each other to really trust them. It needs more than a few months, it needs more than a year. You need plenty of time and consistent love and dependability to really be able to get to that point. 

It's taken so much blood, sweat, and tears but I'm so happy to me here with my fiance. BPD will still be an issue but it's one that's fading. I feel like he is healing my soul and my bpd behaviors have been lessening overtime. I've made so much progress. I can't believe my life is turning out okay.