This Jungian Life just released an ep on BPD. The hosts approach it in a way that made me reconsider some of the harsh stances I made about my own bpd mother. The whole thing is worth a listen but this section (around min 12) was a good reminder. It felt validating to hear. 

http://www.thisjungianlife.com/74-borderline-personality-disorder/

 About mother’s with borderline personality disorder:

“One of the difficulties is that when people are in a state of overwhelmingly hyperarousal it interferes with the brain’s ability to make crisp memories of what they do or say while they are in that state. One of the most disturbing phenomena of borderline mothers is that in a state of hyperarousal, a mother may do something very very outrageous then calm down, come back four hours later and be total be pleasant and continue moving forward as if nothing happened. The children are devastated and the mother has no memory of what she’s done which then makes self reflection almost impossible”

“Yea well and then it makes it difficult for the children to have their perspective validated which is really crazy making - to have experienced something as a child and to have an adult deny or not acknowledge that something happened.”