I’m just gonna call this girl mia who i’m talking about in this post (fake name) 

Me and Mia in our course where rly close for about 2 weeks then this week she’s totally been taking all her anger out on me. She has mental illnesses but i don’t feel like she had to have a go at me for every single little thing she knows i’m suicidal and have bpd and complex ptsd so every little thing can just make me end it but she just keeps going. 

Yesterday i don’t even know how the conversation came up but i was ranting about my trauma and one of them was about how my friends when i was 11 where bullying me on anonymous online chat groups because my mum just died and how she was abusive towards me. Mias near exact words where after i said that where ‘Well u where clearly very open with them so it’s your fault that happened’ i explained how they found out by my teachers and mia was still like ‘oh well just like get over it u can’t blame them for that’. She has a best friend there who kinda just followed her like a sheep and literally agrees with anything she says and she just kinda followed what Mia said then. This happened multiple times but the other ones whernt as severe as that but literally every traumatic moment in her life she would just say oh ye well that was your fault. Mia has told me before that her mum had a meth addiction and died because of it very young but i would never say to her ‘oh ye that was your fault cause she was clearly stressed out dealing with you’ like while she was crying about it. 

Anyway i got super upset and shit and then i told my online friend what happened and he was like dude wtaf that’s fucked up of her and i kinda realised then what Mia said was seriously fucked up. Today i went in again but only made it until lunch because i couldn’t deal with her. Last night i was on the border of suicide and left my course group chat, left all my social media cause i planned on doing it. Anyway i sadly didn’t lmao and i got a boy in my class to add me back onto it. Anyways i went in and asked Mia like what where her opinions on me leaving last night and she literally just said in a pissed voice oh yeah i don’t give a shit anymore i mean like u said u where leaving so like why should i care. Am i overthinking or is that weird af? I tried to talk to her and say like yo can we just forget this and like not be angry at eachover anymore and mia and her following friend literally burst out at me and said no that’s a you problem you need to change mias not been angry at all. 

I messaged my dad like during this and i never mentioned the trauma thing i mentioned above but he thought she was bullying me in a way because she was taking everything out on me. I went home but my course leader wanted to speak to me and i mentioned like all the shit that i mentioned above and she said that it was so fucking rude like what she said about the abuse thing and she’d talk to Mia about that but idk if i even wanna go back if i’m going home rly suicidal because of her. There’s only 12 ppl in my group so idk if i can ignore her and like i wanna know if this wrong? Like with Mia knowing i have ptsd and shit from these events 

Also i feel like i’m a literal primary school kid who’s having friendship problems haha 🙃 kill me