Well my bpd has mostly always affected my relationship with my SO but now its to the point where I think its for the worse &amp; for the life of me I can't stop this. My boyfriend &amp; I have been together about 6 years. I was diagnosed while we were together so I guess Ive never noticed but Ive idealized him since we first met. He was perfect in my eyes. I can admit I was super clingy &amp; obsessive in the beginning. Fast forward to now I just constantly devalue him &amp; I feel like I can't control myself. I love him with all my heart &amp; I know it's unhealthy but I just wish I could idealize him again. Forever. I can't have sex with him. I can't look at him without feeling like he's not even him. I can't explain it. Its scary &amp; heartbreaking. He hasn't done anything different. He just looks like a stranger but he looks completely the same. I miss him. Please help. I feel like a monster. I don't want to hurt him. Has anyone had this feeling? What would you do? 