I get so upset every year (even before knowing I had BPD) around like Halloween or holidays where you’re supposed to be with people, and I dread them every year.

Like I just know in my heart that my best friend is not gonna hang out with me and I will be alone, even before plans are made. 

So holidays and my birthday are always super triggering for me, and it’s so frustrating because I like dressing up and doing stuff but it’s ruined.