I (22m) was diagnosed with major recurrent depressive episodes when I was 14. I have truly overcome so many obstacles of my brains making that I’m proud of myself. I successfully played a sport in college, graduated with a great degree and got a good job in a large city around my friends. It doesn’t matter. I can feel myself about to fall into an episode and I just feel helpless. I know there is nothing I can do. I just can’t feel hopeful when I’m convinced I’m going to lose my job my friends and my dignity at the drop of a hat. I am surrounded by people I’ve known for over 10 years but I feel alone. I need help but I don’t think my insurance would cover a therapist. I used to be a practicing catholic but I’ve fallen away from the church and I’m scared to go back sometimes. I cycle between sadness, mind numbing anger, and just floating around completely numb.