Yes, I take valacyclovir and l lysine and vitamin c. Yes, I know that most of the world population has herpes. But that has not stopped hsv1 or hsv2 herpes from destroying my life  since getting them last year:

\-Before herpes, I was maybe a 5/10 now I'm 1/10. Dating was already an uphill battle for me due to my autism, now that I have herpes. I just do not have the will to pursue relationships anymore, I just fucking don't.  I'm in my mid 20s which is considered prime dating years and i've already fucked everything up. I know they're working on a cure but chances are, it wont be finished until im in my fucking 30s. And even if I found someone for me now I'd live in constant fear of giving them this fucking disease because these meds dont fucking do anything and I have Hsv1 oral and Hsv2 genital and constant outbreaks and prodrome my partner would guaranteed to get one if we had sex or even kissed.

\-I live in constant fear of this fucking disease spreading to my organs and nervous system and I think it actually fucking has because i have constant fucking headaches and intense migraines, searing eye pain and outbreaks on my scalp and neck. I live in constant continuous fear of death. Plus I have a concussion and brain injury from boxing and martial arts so i cant even exercise anymore without raising my blood pressure and risking my BBB barrier degrading and exposing the virus to my fucking brain. So I'm becoming fatter.  I'm also balding btw and no im not taking fucking drugs to that have even A 1 PERCENT chance of chemically castrating me, not only that I have no idea how these drugs will interact with herpes and my brain injury recovery because there aren't enough studies because no one fucking cares because it wont make any fucking money because cases like me are rare. My room is full of tissue paper on the floor because everytime I scratch a sore, I splatter my hands and tissue in hand sanitizer and wipe my face and ears and even eyes sometimes and Ive just become so broken i just throw the shit on the ground. My home is filthy because I've just given up i cant even exercise anymore because the combination of brain injury and herpes putting intense fear into me. i might just start shitting my bed and urinating myself honestly. 

\-I cant even eat my favorite foods anymore any time I eat anything with sugar I start experiencing tingles.itching, and outbreaks. I cant eat chocolates or gorge on turkey and cake during thanksgiving with my family. Everytime i eat a new food I always have to google the arginine content because a slight difference means the difference between life and death. I refuse to risk it. Having herpes and being sad because you cant get a date is one thing, but i literally live in fear of my demise. Honestly, If sometimes I wish i'd rather have HIV because at least the drugs for those functionally suppress the condition for most people. as long as they can keep getting their drugs. herpes drugs barely do shit for me. 

I can't even hug or touch my family members anymore because I'm constantly afraid of spreading this hellish virus to them which i think i might have. Everytime I take a piss on the toilet seat or a shit, I wipe the toilet down with clorox wipes because I quiver in fear at the thought of spreading this to them. Not only that I cant even tell my parents or siblings I have this because I know my mom would experience emotional turmoil if she knew her son had an incurable disease that has ruined his fucking life. It's a good thing I dont live with them but I'm considering moving to another state just so I cannot risk them hugging  or kissing me and getting this virus. This virus causes me constant pain so no i will not treat this virus like its something okay to casually transmit its fucking not.

I'm just so pissed, in school and on the internet they tell us herpes is no big deal and that our immune systems alone will deal with it 9 times out of 10 and theres essentially no risk of the more serious complications of herpes  unless your immunocompromised, and they basically make it seems like hiv is all you have to worry about. I used condoms and had "safe" sex and got herpes because I viewed it as not having a big deal. But its totally a big fucking deal and it seems to be a way stronger virus than they've told us about, At least in my case. The fucked up part is that I didnt really want to sleep around that was just to feel my void for a long term monogamous relationship which my autism and looks prevented me from getting so i just settled on quick raunchy hookups, now i cant even do those anymore because im worried about worsening my situation. All i can do is masturbate and masturbate and masturbate and daydream and cry and just leave the lights off and masturbate more.  I just feel like nothing can make this better and there's no way this situation can be improved unless they came out with a solid legit cure by next year or at least prilivir. HOLY FUCK!