I know this sounds melodramatic but it's just the way I feel. I've only been in love once, 6 years ago. It was an intense, deep attraction. It wasn't just physical but emotional too. I loved him for who he was, entirely. I loved everything of him, even the bad things. To me he was perfect in my eyes. He was my best friend. We had everything in common. He never loved me back, but that didn't matter to me. I had never felt anything so wonderful for someone else. Even if he just saw me as a friend, I was happy just to be in his company. 

Years have passed. I tried to move on. I tried to find someone else. I can't say I'm still in love with him since it has been a long time since we saw each other. I don't miss him, I miss the way he made me feel. I've dated dozens of guys but I never felt anything for any of them. Not even physical attraction. I feel like I'll never feel that love again, no matter how much I try, no matter how many people I met. And that saddens me so much. I look around and see people in happy relationships and I wonder how they do it,  how they can have multiple boyfriends/girlfriends during their lifetime and fall in love with every single one of them and be happy together. I can't. I've been trying for years and it never happened. I've met amazing guys who liked me, but I never liked them back. I tried to, but I couldn't.

 Am I incapable or falling in love with someone again? The thought scares me so much. I know I'm still young (I'm in my 20's) but this thought never leaves my mind and I'm starting to believe it. I want to be in love and I want to be loved back. Why can't I just like someone who likes me already? I feel like it shouldn't be that difficult, but it is to me.