I have been seeing my FP for 10 months. During the first couple dates, he seemed very relationship-minded. After the third date (when we had sex), he told me that he wanted something casual. I have severe sexual trauma and I think I was unwilling to accept the situation. I was sexually abused by a family member as a child and then men I dated violated me without consent. I have a sort of complex about feeling like I'm just a body to men and nothing more. I'd had sex with him and I needed it to mean more. I played it extremely cool for a while and we eventually started dating exclusively. We see each other once a week. However, he still doesn't want the boyfriend title. He is very avoidant and has a lot of trust issues after being cheated on. He rarely opens up emotionally. Contact with him is sparse. He usually only reaches out once a week when he wants to take me out. He has explained that he doesn't want us to have a lot of contact because he wants to avoid a deeper connection. A few weeks ago, I was fed up and told him I didn't want to see him anymore. He was understanding and I really was okay... but a couple days later he started texting me every day, calling multiple times and telling me he missed me. When I finally gave in and saw him, it was great for about a week and then he crashed his car. I reached out to spend time with him and he said "I got into an accident today, I can't do anything" so of course I called to see what happened/if he was okay. No answer. I sent a text. And a follow up text. No answer. For 3 days. He eventually said he was okay and that his car was totaled. I said that I was glad he was okay and left it at that. Two days have passed again and I called him tonight. No answer. Maybe I'm just used to being in chaos and am not being understanding about the accident. I'm having trouble determining whether or not he is going back to his old ways or if I'm being unreasonable/neurotic in light of his accident. It feels pathetic to admit this but he is all I've really got right now. My mom is my only family and she lives really far away. He said that we would have a really nice date to celebrate Christmas but I haven't heard anything about it since. I know this is really unhealthy. I'm just alone and overwhelmed all the time. He is my thing to look forward to. It's getting to the point where I feel physically sick and can barely get out of bed/eat. How do I stop thinking about him so much? How do I start functioning again? I really was okay when I told him I wanted to end things. Why am I so upset now? How can I stop feeling like this?