I live in an older building and despite keeping my apartment literally spotless I now have a cockroach infestation in my kitchen. This is a year after having bed bugs and dealing with that as well. 

I had an exterminator come today but I still see them running around and it’s giving me so much anxiety. I am afraid to put everything back that I took out for the exterminator. I had to pack away and organize all the food in my pantry in airtight containers. They’re in my dishwasher and around my oven and I’m too scared to cook now. I have been ordering out for days and I can’t really afford it and i’m not eating as well. I don’t feel comfortable in my apartment. Now the things from my cupboards are organized in my living room which makes it crowded and gives me more anxiety. I am exhausted and I don’t know if this will even end because roaches are very resistant to treatment. I don’t want to live here anymore but I can’t live away either. Ugh.