Basically I cried because I felt abandoned and like she hated me.I've been on meds since the beginning of winter break and stuff is already going a bit better,i'ts not like all my problems are solved now but I feel like Iam finally in a place where I can and actively want to work on my problems instead of dwelling on them so this appointment was important to me.I prepared everything.I even made a whole analysis of stuff I struggle the most with and why so I could get something usefull out of this appointment and finally do something with the advice she gives me.But for some reason she didn't show up and didn't answer another important mail I sent her this Monday and Iam scared that she is actively trying to ghost me.Like something could've happened or gotten in the way but It just feels suss.Atleast Iam not having a total breakdown like I would've had off the meds and Iam relatively calm now besides being a bit upset because I looked forward to this all for me to cry in front of my laptop 🙃



Yeah I feel like a total clown