I've had depression for years but it has never been this bad. I find little joy in anything, I feel worthless, hopeless, and suicide is something that's always on my mind (don't worry I don't think I would do it for now it's just thoughts). I just started seeing a therapist and know things can take time. I have been depressed for a while continuously over a year now. I don't do anything all day, I don't clean I don't cook and I do just enough for my kid. I want to get better I want to enjoy living again but it seems so far away. I know I may need meds but am afraid I can't afford them. I want to be the parent my kid deserves and I feel horrible that I am the way I am. I just feel so empty or sad all the time, the only reason I try is for my kid. I just want to feel ok again, I want to be better. But if it's just a vicious cycle do you ever truly get better?