Hi.. Trigger warning SH! 

Tonight I was eating food on the sofa and some idiot behind our house set off fireworks making The dog jump and knock my food over. I was so angry about the fireworks I hit that rage point, left the room and slammed the door upstairs... My daughter started crying saying I scared her so grabbed the nearest Thing and hit it into my hand repeatedly till it went purple then cut about 8 times in a concealed place... I feel such guilt anytime something affects my child it genuinely makes me wanna die, idk what To do :( local mental health team in the UK won't help me as they said I'm too complicated so idk what to do i cant afford paid therapy but I can't keep feeling this immense guilt every day :(