Im 19. I promised myself to see how it will get better within the future but it’s just gotten worse I don’t know anymore this is it I’m going to kill myself tomorrow by hanging or a cliff I know wrote and told my family and so on about this I’m just really done. I’m so alone just existing for the sake of it the loneliness is eating me up touch starved they call it. Hating everything about me I’ve spent years feeling this way hoping for a better tomorrow and I’m still in the same position I was in college with the stress seeing others talking having fun socialising while I’m stuck in my head I’ve took a lot of thought of myself these past days and I think ending it is not so bad after all family are distant with me except for my mother but I just doesn’t feel enough I don’t even know what I want from life or what I’m even aiming for it’s like I’m just along for this miserable ride to I eventually die I just don’t know anymore I brought a noose and I look at it as away out of this feels like the times I enjoyed living when I was a kid has just dried up and I feel like a old man like my life is just ended.

Have to say thanks to the people who constantly reached out to me and on posts these couple of weeks it did seem like I was not taking it in but I sure did that’s why I was and am still here not anymore now.