Hi everyone. 

28/F. 

Recwntly my psychiatrist advised me to go get tested for ADHD/ADD if my inability to concentrate is affecting my daily life that much. 

At school I was able to focus a bit more on what I read and used to manage to finish books, chapters, complete exercises etc. I was already struggling back then and was reading not that fast as other classmates but was at least making efforts every day and training my self-control muscle to keep working on something for a certain period of time/ till I finish a task.

Now as I go to work I can't make myself study or read. Watching a movie is also a challenge - it has to be very interesting for me to finish it without pausing many times.

Now I wonder maybe this is just part of my borderline personality - I remember myself at age 8 or so having no patience during drawing classes - I did not get the result right away and flipped out completely telling to my teacher this is all bullshit :) 

Sometimes it feels like I have no control over my mind. One minute I am like okay I am all comfortable, sitting in an armchair, all set, sipping coffee, ideally prepared to read and after having read few lines I am like oh I have to do the laundry, oh there is a dirty dish in the sink or, of course, need to check my phone.

And I hate myself for it.