

I've always  had it rough  but these past couple of weeks have been a lot for me and I hate it my mental issues have gotten so bad that  it's caused me to lose so many of my close friends that I considered my brothers but bc of my issues with schizophrenia and bpd it's getting  worse by the day I feel paranoid and it's awful I've started self h and it's to remind  me of what I did  to my close friend and it didn't  help that someone I confessed to  couldn't  accept  my feelings  which I understand it is what it is but that killed me inside. The only positive is that I've started self care along with  the sports I play which I'm in off-season which is hell for a big guy like me but it helps but it can only do so much. I'm just done I feel like people are plotting  on me I feel paranoid as we speak and my nightmares and episodes  are constant I just wish this would all end