For the past two or three months I have been unmedicated and it has really affected every aspect of my life. I was hospitalized in february, later broke up with my ex, then we got back together and then broke up again in june. We have been staying friends this entire time and i actively told her that i was not interested in being in a relationship with her at the moment, but we were still intimate together. Well, I decided to go to the hospital yesterday because my brain was getting out of control, i got into an argument with ex before going to the hospital. I ended up not getting hospitalized but coming home to being deleted/blocked on multiple social medias from her. i called and she said she was done and wanted to move on and that she couldn’t if i were around and i’m guessing that my deteriorating mental health isn’t helping anything and is probably a reason why she wants to move on. I feel terrible because she said she’s been waiting for me this entire time. I thought she understood my intentions, and now i’ve hurt and lost another person that i love and care about. She was and is my best friend and i’m so sad that things have ended so abruptly but i can’t help but understand why someone wouldn’t want to be around an unstable person anymore. my illness took up a large part of the relationship and i wish it hadn’t and i wish that on both sides things were better. i can see all of the mistakes now and they’re unable to be fixed.