About 4 months ago. I cut off 2 people who I considered good friends...they called me their best friend. But they never put in the effort I did, always made me feel like the final option if their other plans went through. 
This left me with 2 best friends and my husband. One of my best friends lives 4 hours away and the other lives on the opposite side of the country. So I spend all my time alone or with my husband. 
I find myself wanting to cut off one of my best friends... no reason but I know I'm unconsciously intending to be all alone. Except for my husband.. he's my rock. My true core. I don't want to socialize. I am lying to get myself out of any new invites at the new job I started. 
I am afraid of socializing. I just have a feeling of wanting to lose all connections I have like the closest best friend to me. I don't know why. Is it "growing out" phase? Is it normal? I think I'm leading myself to something deeper. Like a dark hole. 
I'm scared but feel defenseless.