Today has been a hell of a day. I have a super important doctor appointment in 10 days that I've waited almost 12 months for. My SO spent the money that was put aside for it. Well, I had to use it to fill the gap in the rent that was there due to all her afterpay (take it now,pay for it later) payments came out (most of which i didn't know about). I don't get paid until 2 days after my appointment. She somehow made the fact I was so stressed I was in tears about her. So I dropped her off at work, came home and had a massive vomit inducing panic attack. Once my emotions had turned off I was able to apply for some of my superannuation under financial hardship, so that will cover my appointment.

Went to comfort eat. Fridge is hot. Freezer is hot. Everything is squishy. SO is still at work. Wanted to rage, called my mum instead to bring her car fridge over to save the important stuff. She's going to help us buy a new one tomorrow. Saved the stuff I could from the fridge, had a huge cry on my mother's shoulder and we decided to have an out of town us day tomorrow. She went home, I went and had a shower and indulged in some much needed destructive behaviours.

But I didn't rage. I found solutions. That to me is a win. Now I've raided my hidden snack drawer and am going to eat until I feel betterish

This year has been bullshit already and I want a new one.