I fell so deeply in love and it recently fell apart.
Now more stressors are coming up. Aint that always the way.

The sudden jolt of not having my person to talk to is so jarring. Empty. 

I can feel my body start to do that thing where it may start a long tremble. Like my skeleton is cold.
I'll disassociate from my big hurt and then small hurts, even fictional, will make me ugly cry and feel pathetic.


I'm already a chaotic, messy, homeless person.
Then it turns on you and the invasive thoughts that I'm a huge piece of shit who can't even make my partner happy  cuts so hard and so deep.


I have good friends, but they're all busy with their own lives and have their person.
I have work but can't afford a therapist again just yet.


I know I'm being so hard on myself. Just right now, I feel like I can't trust anyone and venting to a community of strangers feels better than feeling guilt for dumping on a friend.


I'm not expecting anyone to be my person to vent to privately.
Now that my cryings calmed down, I think I just needed to get this energy out to the void so to speak.


Anyways, thanks for having a read. I'm gonna scroll this sub and see if I can help someone.
Sometimes helping someone else can help yourself.
Ain't that always the way?