i have been making what i thought was great progress. being kind to myself, being kind to others, controlling my emotions, journalling, reaching out to old friends, engaging in healthy pastimes, controlling my negative self-tallk

btu when something happens and you KNOW you didnt deserve any of it, you start to question whether any of your progress ever really mattered. whether or not i improve myself in the end i am just a piece of shit who deserves everything bad that happens.