So my mom has had a boyfriend for about 2 years now. Super nice guy, very funny, and makes her happy. Now the problem is every time I’m around them I always feel the need to make myself smaller.. and I even feel super uncomfortable if I wear leggings with a shirt that shoes my butt or any skin. It’s strange like I know he’s not weird and isn’t like interested in me(ew). It’s just that ever sense I can remember my mom has always made me feel a sort of “shame” for my developed body and the eyes it attracted from a VERY early age.. Now I also get really nervous when I start going down this thought rabbit hole and I have no one to vent to anymore or we’ll anyone I feel comfortable with.. I have always been really scared or paranoid that I was touched inappropriately when I was younger... a lot of my childhood is a blur.. but I do remember my moms ex husband loving big booty music videos and lots of explicit music about women.. He also use to spank my butt a lot I also remember catching him staring at women in front of my mom and just in general him degrading me and my mom. idk why I’m finally writing this out but i am. and honestly I dont know  if I really want to know I am just so confused as to why I get so uncomfortable around my moms current boyfriend even though I know his intentions aren’t bad?