I don’t feel like I have anyone to talk about this with so I may as well get it off my chest and let it be out there, hopefully this will help. At least a little bit, this is my 4th time trying to type and post this 

I’ve been off work for a little over a month now, I work for a small family owned home renovation business and we haven’t had much work so I’ve been home for the past month until my boss gets things sorted out and work picks back up, I have no issues with my job, one of the most understanding and lenient places I’ve worked for, and I don’t think I’m a workaholic but these past few weeks have had me struggling, mentally I’ve been torn apart, I struggle to keep motivation anymore and have been losing interest in my hobbies,  I used to be so excited to play video games or go skate/bmx but now I just lay in my bed all day, I really struggled with anxiety and depression all throughout highschool and I never expected to make it past highschool, when I started at my job I felt a lot better about myself, having a job that I don’t dread going to every day is amazing and I work with one of my best friends and his father, since we haven’t been working I’ve been trying to keep myself busy with helping my parents out and some other family members, but when I’m alone with my thoughts I just feel like a hopeless failure, I’m not sure what it is exactly, maybe the feeling of being unproductive is sinking me back into the hole I was in but I really don’t want that to happen, I hate feeling this way and I don’t know any other way around it but to stay busy but I have nothing to do throughout the day a lot of the time, at night I struggle even more to sleep now just cause the weight of the day is bearing down on me

I’m hoping we get back to normal schedule work soon, I know that probably sounds crazy to some but I love my job really, and I just want to be back in the mindset I was in a few months ago, and of course have the extra money 

I just wanted to get this off my chest, thank you to whoever takes the time out of their day to read this, I’m not sure if this makes a whole lot of sense but I felt like I needed to get this out there, I’m a very shy person so it’s really hard for me to open up