I think I do this all the time. I don't even get to think about it when it happens, and I feel like that version of my personality is actually me at the time. Maybe it is me? But I also feel like I am not that version and when they get to know more about me they will hate me. Or realize they are not into me anymore. 

I don't even know if I actually do this or if I am telling myself that I do this. I don't know if people are genuinely interested in me because of who I am or because I am actually someone else pretending to be who I am.

I'm sorry if this is confusing I just don't know how to put this feeling into words and I want to know how do you deal with this.

My first appointment with my new therapist is tomorrow. I am nervous because I feel like I will act differently and filter out stuff to tell so that I can get them to think a certain way about me. This is so fucked I don't even fucking know anything.