Usually when I’d have depressive episodes I could snap out of it but for some reason I can’t this time. My depression has got so bad I don’t shower everyday anymore, I had to force myself to start brushing my teeth again because they were aching and turning brown, I don’t work or know what I want to do with my life anymore. I don’t go outside anymore but that’s because I have no friends or cool relatives to hang with. Sometimes I daydream about being murdered thinking I’d just be better off dead. 

I used to smoke weed to cope but weed bothers my stomach so I can’t  smoke anymore. This is the worst I’ve ever been and I can’t shake back. I sort of don’t want to be alive if it’s gonna feel this terrible and the world has been crappy these past 2 years anyway.