Today I left a family function early because I was so close to crying multiple times. I sat there for probably 45 minutes surrounded by my friends/cousins and I tried to speak and join in but I would get ignored. I felt left out listening to them talk about all the fun they’ve had while I never got to have because I was always left out. Eventually I just left, none of them have said anything but my abrupt absence so I guess they must not have noticed. 

My dog is the only one who seems to notice my distress, she climbed in my lap and was very affectionate. She always seems to know when I’m sad and comforts me, I always appreciate it.

My mom texted me and said “everyone wants you here” but no one else has said anything. They seem to be surprised that I left knowing damn well they saw me holding back tears. I hate when people lie about liking me or caring about me. Just tell me so I can move on instead of letting me hope. I get being friends with someone who has depression is hard, but if it’s so hard then just let me go and let me waste away.