It’s 7am. I usually go to bed from 7am to 4pm because my sleep is fucked. Today I’m crying at 7am. I miss my addictions. I miss the brief period of having hope my FP wanted me. I miss not facing I might be trauma bonded to him and need to let go. I want someone to hold me and tell me I’m enough. I hate being in pain and I just want to numb it.