My DBT therapist terminated on me in October (was a very dramatic time where I like told her I wanted to, but was like emotionally blacked out when I said that and truly didn’t mean it was just angry and then the next session she told me we were actually ending and I freaked). She blocked me eventually and they transferred me to another therapist at the clinic. By like March I got some internal peace about the whole thing, but this week I’ve been super depressive and just sad and lonely. Yesterday called her from my different number and she picked up and I just said nothing and hung up but now feeling super ashamed about reaching back out and just hating myself for it. I feel like this whole saga basically sums up the bpd experience and it sucks