hi. so I don’t think I suffer from bpd myself but I have a sister who does and I’m trying very hard to understand her better. this is going to be long but I’ll try to shorten it up the best I can. any advice is greatly appreciated. 


so my sister and I had a very difficult childhood growing up and we are also 7 years apart so we were never that close growing up. i was 11 watching her suffer from a severe addiction to alcohol and trying my best to help but also being so young not knowing what to do. anyways so fast forward to me turning 17 and wanting to leave my moms house very badly I asked her on a phone call from when I was in jail to move into an apartment with me. so at the time she was living with her bf but they were having really bad problems so she was agreeing to live with me and leave him. anyways the day we are supposed to move in I go to his house to pick her up and she’s saying she doesn’t want to go. i obviously got mad and her bf told her too that this is what’s best for them and she eventually got into the car and went to the apartment. so ever since day one of living with her she was already blaming me for their relationship ending. she said I forced her to live and now he won’t see her anymore or barley talk to her. i truly didn’t understand how important he was to her since we weren’t close at all. on night 2 of living with her she decided to walk to his house at 2 am when he live 4 miles away. she just kept saying I took him away from her to torture her and that I’m just like our mom when I was calling her. she did this for about 6 months of just blaming me for everything and then it turned complete 180. she started accusing me of liking him and that I took him away from her to try and be with him. i told her that I for 1 am a lesbian and 2 would never hurt her like that. she just said I was lying and that I’m with him. i stated to get mad in these arguments because she was completely invalidating my sexuality and misjudging my character but by me getting mad she just said that makes me more guilty. anyways this went on for months where we would get into arguments but she would usually just come down from this and say she was in the wrong. but last month it stated to get really bad. i would lock my door to my room and she would freak out saying her bf is climbing through the window to have sex with me. she would bang on my door in the middle of the night saying I’m disgusting and to “keep it down” because she supposedly heard moaning when I was literally just asleep. She would also record me without me knowing. i would find her phone or laptop in my room whenever she left for work. i kept forgiving her for all of this and brushing it off until I was showering one night and she started slamming on the door saying I was with him. i quickly got out and showed her I was alone but she just said I was lying. she then said from very fucked up stuff about smth that happened in our childhood. i ended up leaving the next morning and living with my other sister. I’ve barley had any contact with her since I left unless it’s her 100 messages about how I stole her man and that im a disgusting slut. 

i feel like it’s wrong to cut her off since she doesn’t have many friends and everything she’s done and said is most likely due to her illness but she makes me so uncomfortable and scared. she threatens me a lot and threatens to hurt my cat. it’s so suffocating to even have a conversation with her. but I want to be there for her while also not fueling her delusions more either and protecting me own mental state.

so any advice on how to approach talking to her again would be appreciated.