Hi there I'm new here this is my second post on here my name is Dylan 20 M and my main struggles are trying to connect with people due to my autism iv been feeling extremely anxious and depressed since I was around 15 or 16 years old but now since iv finished school its gotten a lot worse.

Everyday I feel at my worst lately,  especially because I'm very lonely and regretting not making friends because I find it extremely difficult to talk to people due to my autism.

A lot of the time I feel almost numb and I don't understand why sometimes my mind is saying things will get better and I think I'm making progress only to feel even worse and even more depressed my mood changes so drastically I  don't even know how to communicate how I'm feeling to anyone anymore.

Counselling was a disaster because my "humanist" councilor wouldn't listen to me and just agreed with everything I said or even allowed the conversation to go off topic 90 euro my parents payed for a councilor that would cancel regularly and clearly isn't  qualified enough to deal with mental illnesses.

I'm emotionally drained they say help is available but in my case it has been a disaster its all my fault because I cant communicate how I feel to anyone most people don't think I'm struggling because I'm hiding it all inside.

I don't know how can I get motivated when things are getting worse instead of better it seems all the depression motivation and support I hear of isn't for me because I cant explain how I feel.

It feels like there's these really confusing and scary thoughts deep inside and I know the feelings have been bothering me for years, but I cant explain them to anybody no matter how hard I try.