My ex broke up with me just over a week ago. He is my favorite person. He told me we could still be in each other’s lives but as best friends. I was having trouble accepting this but was trying. A few days later he told me he met a girl on IG that he kind of liked. (They were not speaking before we broke up.) I was devastated by this which caused me to split and I lashed out at him and said things I didn’t mean and regret. This led to him blocking me but eventually unblocked and I apologized. He told me the girl actually blocked him because he was so upset about me that he messaged her a bunch of times and scared her away. He blamed me for this. I didn’t mean to ruin things for him but I was extremely hurt. He said he forgave me and we talked here and there. I was emotional at times but he didn’t seem angry. I asked if he still wanted to be close and best friends and he said yes. I asked him point blank if he didn’t love me anymore or didn’t want to be in my life to just say it. He told me I was being ridiculous. Then this morning he replied to my message so I replied back and after saying hey and to have a good day he blocked me. Just out of the blue. He later unblocked me but still has his accounts on private and won’t accept me or answer me. I am so scared that he will never speak to me again and I will never know the reason why. I’ve only recently been diagnosed with BPD and have been in therapy for a short while. I am making progress but do not have as good of a grip on my symptoms as I would like. When I think about when other people have left me I have never been this hurt by it before. I am unsure if is this is maybe because I am now aware of what a favorite person is and what it means. I feel completely lost and worthless without him. My anxiety level is through the roof. I don’t really know how to get through this. He knows about my BPD and that he is a FP. I have sent him resources to explain what that means. He knows how much him leaving would hurt me so I don’t understand why I can’t get a reason why or at least an acknowledgement that I should leave him alone. For those that have FP’s and have lost some, how did you cope? I really need advice. Thank you.