This is background, questions are at the bottom

My boyfriend will sometimes forget to tell me/keep me up to date on things. I feel out of the loop at times. It happened again today, and while it would normally just frustrate me, the circumstances of it made me feel much worse than usual.
He is going on a trip in a couple of days. I told him a few days ago that this trip would trigger some abandonment issues and that it would make me feel left behind. He took this as me unintentionally manipulating him. It was a bit manipulative (i’d never do that on purpose, I was just looking for reassurance). He never really gave me the assurance I was looking for, but I let it go because I understand that it wasn’t his main focus.
My issue is that I still feel that way, this trip is still gonna trigger me, and I wish he was more considerate of that. I’m trying to deal on my own because I don’t want to make him feel bad, but it is still hurting me.
I thought I was gonna be able to say goodbye to him before he left, but he just told me that I might not be able to. He didn’t even say it himself, I went to ask when I could come over to say goodbye, and that’s when he said that I might not. I feel really hurt from this. 
I told him that and we both got upset and frustrated with eachother. He gave an apology, said he would do better, but it was very tense and rushed. His words were kinda jumbled together and I couldn’t understand everything he said. We were calling during this, and I delayed saying goodbye for a bit. We texted a bit more after we hung up, but he was being very being very short and rushed. Around 10 minutes after we stopped talking, I texted him saying I didn’t mean to make him upset, that I was just frustrated and that i loved him. I once again told him that I just want him to keep me in the loop more often.
I’m very hypersensitive to people’s, especially his, changes in tone and emotion. He knows that him being short with me can cause me to spiral.

My question basically is:
Is it right of me to expect him to not speak shortly? I would’ve been okay if he told me he was upset and didn’t want to talk (as long as he told me he loved me and gave me some reassurance with it).
Is it right to want him to give me reassurance even though the conversation regarding my abandoning issues came off as manipulative?

I know that if I was a mentally stable person, his actions would still upset me but not to the extent that they are right now. Should I expect him to change how he acts in order to help keep me from spiraling? 

That’s all, thank you for reading