I am rarely truly happy. I mean I live life pretty content, but never truly happy. However, when I feel that happiness, I'm addicted to whatever gave it to me. It could be a song, a person, a drug, a hobby, etc. It can honestly be anything. However, it is usually a person. I get such a euphoric feeling from this thing that it becomes so hard to let go; I'm addicted. But I hate feeling addicted to something because just like any other addict, the moment I can't get my hands on it, it hurts and it hurts bad. 

I guess I wish I wasn't so miserable. I'd rather feel happiness every day (even if it's a little bit)  so I wouldn't get addicted to one thing. Sometimes I think I will never feel happiness within myself, without something else providing it. That truly scares me, I don't want this kind of life. I want to be happy every day.