I (F 21) had this friend, that I was in love with. When I told her, she reciprocated. But we never kissed or anything, because I was too afraid to make a move and she said, she doesn't want a relationship anyway (she knew, that she was about to move away). She told me, she wanted a "break" and doesn't know, when she will feel good about us again, because we had some "differences" (since I have bpd and add and she has pretty bad social anxiety disorder and depression). Then, later, I contacted her again and we connected pretty much instantly very closely (we met once and then we already had 9 hour long calls at night e.g.).
Now, this summer, with all things going on, me moving to her city (we talked about moving together as friends) etc. we had a very bad exchange, which resulted in me calling her all kinds of names and hurting her in the worst way you can imagine and almost immediately regretting. Since then, she refuses to talk to me, she blocked me on every imaginable plattform and I still can't stop stalking her. I search her name on the internet, I search her parents names etc. My new therapist told me, to try contacting her again through a christmas card, which ended in me very impulsively writing a card and the next nights driving about 40km (!!) outside the city, aka where she lived at her partents' house, and walking by the house, watching, if she is there.
Please don't judge, I'm in therapy, but I just got really triggering advice and now I can't stop thinking about her, AGAIN. Needlessly to say, she is still my fp...
No, she, for sure, doesn't know about my stalking. The only thing she might have received is my christmas card.
 
Tldr: I stalk my ex-friend/romantic interest, by seaching her accounts, writing cards and driving by her house, even after she blocked me everywhere.