So i've been a mod over at the bpd irc chat room for ages now and have heard SO many people discuss BDSM. 

I somehow, fuck knows how, got myself a boyfriend and genuinely I asked him to tie me up and spank me until sitting down the next day would hurt. I used to engage in BDSM stuff, but mainly because I needed to be hurt. I wasn't hurting myself enough and I wanted someone else to hurt me. They did. Someone raped me and I learnt my lesson.

So now I have this great guy, seriously, he is so kind and caring and understanding. I really like him, he was my best mate for a year before we got together. And he told me he likes bondage... is this safe? Is this an OK thing for someone who actively self destructs to engage with? He knows all my shit - its not like I can hide self harm scars from him, i told him about the suicide attempts, he knows I was raped. I know he wont hurt me knowingly, but I know I might ask him to hurt me because thats how I  roll. 

Any advice is super appreciated pls. Also, general discussion on BDSM would be interesting :)