Does anyone’s spouse also cause them severe depression? Like their actions have a direct impact on whether you feel like dancing, or like you just want to hide from the world because they’re like a dark cloud looming above you? 

Maybe it’s the BPD, but my brain is very black and white. It’s an instant effect, like if I’m super happy and laughing, but then they have a sour attitude out of nowhere and crush my happy spirit… and then before I know it we’re not talking for 3 days. It makes me want out; out of the relationship, of life, everything. Wash, rinse, repeat. 

Sometimes I feel like I would be happier and healthier without him bringing me down so much, but we have good times too and it’s like I forget about all the times his actions put me into that dark place again. 

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m clinically depressed or if it’s just him that has the power to make me feel like life isn’t worth living anymore :(