I don't do it all the time. I thought for a while I just did it when I saw my partner's extended family. But the pandemic has cut down so much of the social aspect of my life; it is happening all the time. At work (I'm remote but whenever I speak in meetings) and when I see friends  I don't see: I replay every single thing I said. I obsess about what I may have said wrong or when I got cut off so I couldn't even get to my point so I may be misunderstood. I worry incessantly that I've done or said something stupid or hurtful. It keeps me up I replay everything over and over. 

It is debilitating. I feel like a fucking freak I don't  know what is fucking wrong with me. I know I have anxiety but it's gotten so much worse around this stuff to the point I never want to speak, I want to withdraw from friends, I just never want to see or talk to anyone I don't see or talk to regularly basically people who know me very well and are close enough that if I did put a foot wrong they would let me know  just so I don't have to deal with the inevitable loop in my brain. And it's not going to get better I'm planning my wedding and all I can think about is how I'm going to wreck everything and who is going to be unhappy with what. I don't know how to stop and I feel so alone. Does anyone else do this? If so have you spoken to a therapist about it? if so what did they say /what was their advice, I have a therapist but I don't see him until Wednesday and I don't know how I'm going to sleep. It doesn't stop after a day either my brain has been obsessing about a hangout on Friday and I am still going. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to stop and I feel so goddamn ashamed.