There are probably posts about this but I feel compelled to ask those who have experienced pregnancy. And to clarify I am not looking for advice about the decision to have a child, my question is related to personal experiences with medication and pregnancy at its biological level. 

For a little background for my current situation, I am currently on multiple psychiatric medications. The medication journey began around age 14 and eventually stabilized around age 22. I am now 29 and been on the same regimen of medications for 99% of the time in between. I am stable enough to manage my life. Not perfectly but I am for all intensive purposes well adjusted. 

As for the pharmacology I take 4 psychiatric medications. Effexor (Venlafaxine), Lamictal (Lamotrigine), Abilify (Aripiprazole), and Adderall (Amphetamine Salts [IR]). The dosages are irrelevant but at the top end of therapeutic dosages for Bipolar and co-morbid disorders. Last time I tried to lower abilify I punched a wall and it won. Broke my pinkie finger in the process but it was nothing compared to the mixed mania. 

The episodes terrify me to be honest. I get glimpses at the chaos but can usually make some sort of order of it all. The person I become goes against my soul and I resent that. I can’t imagine being hormonal/growing a human while withdrawing from the medication that has enabled me to, honestly, enjoy living. 

I got a new job. I have to drop all of my doctors or pay out of pocket (unless it is the company network). So I am lacking in professional opinions. 

Long story short.
I am scared to start trying for a child with my partner like we both desire because I am afraid that my medication will have to change/be discontinued. 

(Sorry for the ramble and typos)
((Thank you))