Sitting in my apartment and thinking about the evening activities

Wondering what my mood will be like in a few hours is like playing Russian Roulette. I might be depressed to the point I just flake and cancel, or worse, go out and be a dead battery. On the other hand, I may just be manic enough to give the crowd a stitch from laughing and have people wondering if I took a point of fire molly before earlier. It feels completely out of my hands

I can only hope for the best when going out and avoiding subtle triggers that no one could possibly understand or be at fault for that may shift me to the other end of the scale, there is no in between.

The uncertainty makes me want to do one thing I can be certain of, but there’s no going back from that. I’ll just have to try my best. 
