I’ve been dating my partner for coming up to two years and have always struggled to understand her anxiety and ADHD, everything I’ve tried has failed to work and it has been very bad of late, with my presence seemingly more negative than helping and she doesn’t feel she can trust me to help or hold out on promises to help. I also tend to get defensive of myself when she gets upset and I can’t help, rather than supportive and this obviously doesn’t help.

I think a lot of this and a lot of the struggle stems from me really not understanding things and what affects her and why etc…

Are there any good books or podcasts for partners which would help me understand what she is struggling with so that I can be better and more ‘there’ for her?