I’m being wayyy more productive than usual, but  I’m miserable and my neck muscles just won’t chill the fuck out and insist on accentuating my inner struggle with constant pain. I’m also teetering on the edge of reanimating the eating disorders of the past because I HATE my body and everything I do my brain just screams at me that “I did it wrong” and “everybody secretly hates me” and all free moments are filled with endless reruns of the gory details of every embarrassing thing I’ve ever done. Every time I see someone thinner than me I’m filled with absolute disgust and loathing for myself and my lack of self control.