My ex was codependent of me in many many ways. She was independent dont get me wrong. But certain things she said she relied on, put faith into me for, and such things.

Unfortunately I let her down too many times and she left me. Despite all the times I was there for her, its as if she expected me to be able to be there and for her to rely on myself 100% of the time. That just is not possible, because sometimes I had my own issues. I feel like now thinking about it, it is unrealistic that her expectations were to be ALWAYS able to rely on me. Myself letting her down was never intentional, it was more so myself doing things wrong and then she feeling hurt because I didnt do what she expected. This would hurt me even to see her hurt when I had 0 intention to hurt her.

Then when I let her down its as if all the things I previously did had no merit and she only fixated on the time I let her down. She ultimately left me for this despite my efforts not to let her down, and my efforts to support her.

Its as if she idealized this idea that someone is going to be there for her 100% of the time when she needs. Then she would devalue me when I let her down.

Have you ever lost someone this way (letting them down) then they realize what they lost because of the effort you put into trying?

Do I have any hope she will ever come back? She removed me as if I dont exist despite being together for many years.

She said I was not there when she needed me most, I will say I was there... just not to her standard (I never left her, she just expected many things I couldn't do in certain times. Not to mention she would tend to voice this after the fact telling me how I let her down, rather then during what she needed)

When I did let her down she blamed me for hurting her, citing that intentional or not, she was hurt. I would always apologize and mean it. 

In a way it feels like I was devalued and painted black since she wiped me out of her life, and since I did try constantly and she only can now see how I messed up or the hurt she has incurred. *This part is the hardest, that she doesnt see all my efforts to try and only sees this negativity*