I ask because my FP, who is also my ex (we dated for 15 years) used to be *amazing* towards me. I could never have asked for a more loving, supporting, amazing person. After about 8 years of an amazing relationship that now feels like a dream, he started to change. He told me that I should “already know that he loves me” and that he refuses to repeat himself over and over again. He then decided to refuse to validate that I was just overthinking when I had those negative thoughts about him leaving me, cheating on me, or not caring about me. And THEN he decided he would never reassure me about my common fears of abandonment, cheating, not loving me anymore etc. he completely stopped reassuring me and validating me altogether. Even if I made a snarky comment like “I know you have feelings for ____, just admit it” he would ignore me. So I’d say something like “your silence speaks for itself” and he’d say something like “I’m not going to satisfy you by responding to your insane delusions.” Needless to say, shit got tough between us and other worse stuff happened so we broke up. He is still my favorite person but more so as a best friend. I don’t come to him for any of my bpd issues anymore either...

On that note, there were tons and tons of things that he’s said to me that have stuck with me and still haunt me and replay in my head constantly. One of them happened when I told him that all I was asking for was reassurance that he still loved me and didn’t have feelings for this other girl he had as a roommate. He refused to reassure me and told me that I “live in my own twisted reality” and that I’ll “believe anything my sick warped brain makes up”. In the same argument, he also said Im “fucked in the head”. I’ve been told I’m “fucking psychotic” and “fucking delusional” as well. Been accused of “believing the twisted delusions in my mind” when in reality they are intrusive thoughts and rather than jumping to conclusions and believing them, I try doing the right thing by bringing it up to him like “hey, did you and ___cuddle while watching a movie yesterday?” And instead of a simple answer, I get verbally attacked and never get reassured. Oh, and he also told me “I’m sick and fucking tired of your stupid mental health bullshit”. 

So yeah. What are some things that replay in your mind that others have said in regards to your BPD? How do you deal with it? I wish I could forget all these things he’s said to me. It would make things a lot easier for me.