Like seriously what’s the point? We always end up in the same fucked up hole right? Not knowing who you are what you want to do, heartbroken, not wanting to burden anyone with your crap again, and just as you feel like you’re on track again, something clicks and you drop all the way back to square one. So what’s the point? How many times do I have to go through this. Is it really worth it because occasionally some other people care? The only thing that stops me is my mum and sister. But it’s annoying sometimes I wish they would go away so can too. I’m on pills, I’m in therapy, I’ve had a lot of therapy, I’m intelligent, and when I am stable I succeed. I am capable. I am nice to people and some people care about me, and if I really need to talk to someone, there is someone I can call. But so what?! It’s not worth this pain why do you we have to be here, like seriously someone please give me one good reason. It takes so many other peoples effort to try and make someone like me okay, but for what?! It all unravels again eventually. I don’t know how many more times I can go through this. I’m a quiet borderline so it’s easy for me to suffer in silence. I only involve other people when I have to. But then I’d also just rather not involve them. Even if they are genuinely nice people who care and would rather me tell them than suffer blah blah. But I’d be forgotten about eventually. I just can’t do life how life is supposed to be so what the hell am I supposed to d is so many people’s continued collective efforts really fucking worth it when I’ll fuck it all up again eventually?! I can’t fucking pretend it’s okay anymore, or twll myself I’m going through a difficult period. I just fucking cry all the fucking time I can’t do anything I’m sick of it. I just want to remove myself from everyone and everything and just fuck off forever, I just always put other people’s feelings before my own, it’s always fucked me over and now I can’t even die because of it. Frustrates me every time.