I'm tired of being such a people pleaser, I pretend to be happy and laugh everyday. People say "fake it till you make it" but god it makes it so much worse. I've bottled everything I've ever felt that wasn't happiness since I was 8. At first it was because I had no one I trust to talk about it, but now it's still that but mostly the fact I don't want to look weak and that I'm scared to open up because I've quite literally never done that. For someone who is such a people pleaser, I hate people. I hate them, I even don't like my friends most of the time. I just can't relate to anyone. I feel alien, like I'm a different species to them. Yet, I crave love more than anything. I want to be cherished and held, I want to hear someone breathing next to me, something to prove I'm not alone.