I’ve been a part of this one online community for a while and i’ve really grown to love it there and care about these people. But i tend to overshare a lot and open up about how shit i feel and i make a lot of jokes about suicide and stuff, and it’s gotten to the point where a couple mods told me they’ve gotten dms about me and people are worried about me and i’m making them uncomfortable and i need to chill and get professional help.

And i totally get where they’re coming from and i feel awful for letting myself get like that and making everyone feel so bad and now i just feel like distancing myself from them entirely because i feel like they’d be better off.

I wish this was even the first time something like this has happened. A few years back i had a job that i loved but i ended up really fucking it up by letting my personal issues take over at work, and afterwards everyone was just so worried and uncomfortable that they ended up letting me go like two weeks before my contract was supposed to end.

When it comes to bpd this is definitely one of my biggest issues. I just talk about my problems too much and overshare and then everyone ends up leaving because me and my issues are too much, and then i get manipulative because i don’t want them to leave but they do anyway and i’m just left alone feeling like shit.

I’m supposed to be starting DBT in january i think but right now idk what to do. I just want to isolate myself entirely from everything and everyone because i feel like the worst person and i’m so tired of hurting and getting other people hurt.