I don't know what's happening to me but lately there are many times where I feel euphoric and overly excited. I laugh at scenarios and sentences I make up in my mind and have to isolate myself to laugh like a maniac. Otherwise I creep others out.

The extreme laughter often ends up with me crying, the happiness and fun turn into tiredness and sorrow. But then in a matter of seconds I start laughing again. I laugh, I cry, I laugh, I cry. This first happened to me a year ago during a mental breakdown and my left arm was paralyzed for 5 minutes.

I remember how good it felt to empty myself. I had a feeling of well-being and lightness, I was content for about a week afterwards. Now these breakdowns aren't followed by the feeling of liberation anymore.

It's like my mental health is reaching a point of no-return in terms of sanity, I'm losing it. Because of all the anger I have to bare with me, I start cracking like a vase.