So I was homeschooled and attended college online. My first serious relationship when I was 17 ended up with us getting married because my religious parents wouldn't let me move out and keep my job and my dad's company. 

My SO at that time had done the normal high school thing and had previous sexual partners. She was my first. Thinking about it drove me mad. I slut shamed her a lot early on but eventually just buried it away. 

My second wife had also had partners before me but less than the first wife. And for different reasons. 

It doesn't even end there but I finally discovered a few months ago that there is a term for this. Or what apparently it seems to be. One common thing I've noticed is that regardless of the number of partners there's always "one" person or incident I get obsessed with that sort of umbrellas everything.

This is the resource I found: http://www.retroactivejealousycrusher.com/

Prior to being diagnosed with BPD I thought I just had depression/anxiety and could work through that ebook and be fine. I've always known my feelings were irrational and likely were due to my very sheltered upbringing and being resentful of not living a more... full life. 

Well the ebook hasn't helped but my diagnosis is recent and I'm only getting into treatment so I'm hoping I can finally wrangle this in so I can stop freaking out about things that I *know* don't matter but feel so strongly. 