Hey, there's no reason for writing this apart from me having to let this out, so I'll try and keep it as short as possible. 

I've been feeling like shit for about 4 years, and I've been going to therapy once a month for 3 years now. And it isn't working, though I try to convince myself everything's going better. But I know so little therapy has no effect. 

I feel like everything is going downhill. My OCD is getting worse, my social anxiety is getting even worse, and my BPD is just making things even tougher. 
I quit working 4 months ago because I dissociated at work and had severe suicidal ideation, and it was making me really anxious. But now I am broke and I'm starting at a new job in 2 days. 
And I'm really scared. I'll be a waitress. 