all i do in life is run away and burn bridges. Nothing ever felt truly mine, or worth having. I got so close to happiness for the first time in my life, as in, about to have everything I’ve ever wanted, but it all went south again. People closest to me dont believe in me anymore. The only person ive ever loved chose someone else after letting me believe otherwise. I remember wanting to die when i was not yet on medication - it was peaceful. Now i can actually feel the pain i will cause others by dying while also feeling my own shitty pain all the time. I dont believe i can handle being alive in the long term. How do you go on when life has proven time and time again that no matter what i do i will always end up at the same empty place again?