I first want to apologize to the other people on here, depression sucks and I’m sorry you feel this way. 
I don’t think things are as bad for me as other people, I don’t feel this way constantly I don’t think but it is more often than not nowadays. 
I’ve been in therapy for three years and I have not experienced any improvement. I don’t know why I’m writing this or even what the purpose is but I feel alone right now. I feel selfish and stupid for feeling so low that I don’t want to exist. I feel like everyone around me doesn’t think it’s as severe as I feel it is. I just don’t want to exist anymore. I feel like all I’m doing is fucking up. I graduated as valedictorian into a Covid and had basically everything I had spent the last four years working and planning toward thrown away. I don’t know where to go from here and what the point is.