Okay so I was recently diagnosed but we( me and my partner of 4 years ) have been working on it for the whole of our relationship. I need advise I am 10000% sure he is my person but we argue a lot. To people with bpd how did you stop. Like I always pick at things and do little things I know get under his skin till we eventually get into a big blow up argument. How do you shake off the tension and stress of the week,of other people being rude, and all anxiety that comes with trying to be different and nervousness that comes with not wanting to be crazy or depressed or manic. 
I guess I'm asking how did you actually change? 
Idk I just need a different outlet for all the emotions and stress other than arguing and petty passive aggressiveness.