I thought I would recommend a book, "Trauma and Recovery" by Judith Herman a professor at Harvard Medical School. It's a really positive and empathetic book. She approaches BPD from the perspective of the person having been wronged and suffered traumatic events and reacting in pain, and struggling to recover and recognizing when someone has been wronged (for instance a lot of people have a vested interest in denying the violence, including sexual abuse, that many women have suffered), and how often people feel alienated not just from the person who wronged them but from bystanders who didn't act to protect them or who at present don't understand the pain they are in. She also gave a lovely talk at the NEABPD (?) Conference in 2008. It's up on the internet if you google it.
Here is a bit of the book: Part of the history Herman sets forth explores why people tend to shun and try to silence trauma survivors. She writes, "It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering."