I am very young, haven’t even sat my final exams. I have not been diagnosed with depression either and I just know I wanna die. I just wanna die man. I’m tired and I’m in pain. It hurts and nobody’s here to help me. My friends from school have such normal lives and I am capable of putting on my second mask to blend in. But there’s an extent to where I can blend in. My sister asked me today why I thought my life was harder then anyone else’s in an attempt to make fun of me and my first reasons was a pair of Jordans. Anyone outside my brain would make fun of me for that. But I just noticed...all my friends could afford one and talk amongst themselves about money, shoes and clothes and I’m here begging my own parents for money people spend on a daily basis. I’m just a kid man. I got nobody. I’m so young and all I worry about is money. I spend months saving up for a bit of change that is enough to buy one thing. It’s breaking me and ripping me apart. I don’t even know why I’m writing this because why do I want others to feel bad for me. But it’s just the fact I got nobody and the pain in my heart burns. I’m burning it feels like hell. I’m dying already. I’ve never been diagnosed with depression let me say again. But I don’t want to try with my life and I understand when people don’t want to try. I’ve made 20 tapes for a year and idk what to do. Idk what just happened, I had a depressive episode/panic attack/seizure like I couldn’t breathe move and I was spazzing my arms in a weird way like I want was trying to get the anxiety out of them. Idk.