⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ( s*lf h*rm, s*icide ) ⚠️ VENTING ⚠️

my mom does not care about my mental health issues. 

neither of my parents take them seriously at all when i constantly feel like killing myself. it’s not fair. 

i don’t understand how a haircut and hair colouring is more important. i don’t understand how a VACATION is more important. 

they both think that if they talk to me these intrusive thoughts will just go away. they don’t go away and what they say to me is not helpful at all. there are things i cannot and will never tell them. i don’t even think i can trust them with my information. this is why i need to see a doctor. i just need someone to evaluate these feelings because i think there is something wrong with me. 

it is SO frustrating to think you’re suffering — no, KNOW you’re suffering and your parents are not taking it seriously. 

i don’t know what i have to do to make them understand. but honestly i think i will end up running away or killing myself before i even get to see a doctor. maybe then they will understand.

my mom definitely doesn’t understand how hard it is to talk to someone who threatened to use your suicide attempt in court (for what reason? i don’t know). she expects me to want to talk to my dad who called me selfish for trying to commit. that’s unfair.

she is also an enabler too. there was a time we got into a really bad argument and she gave me this half-ass apology like it was going to fix what she did and said to me.  those words will stay with me forever and i have to live with knowing i make people miserable. knowing that by just saying she was getting on my nerves/making me uncomfortable i deserved to be thrown out of my house??

they want to act like I have all these issues but ignore me when i want to get help for it … it’s honestly just making it worse. i hate how they act like ANYTHING else is more important. like the divorce, starting a “new family”, etc. i WANT to get help, and i just feel like they don’t want that for me. that’s not fair.

i don’t even need therapy or anything i just want to know what this is that im feeling and them talking to me is not helpful at all. nothing that they’ve said to me has outweighed the tons of things that made me uncomfortable. i don’t care if they think that’s selfish i can’t help thinking this way

my mom has so many issues with listening to me and expects me to WANT to talk to her about things. my dad weaponizes my mental health and wants to cry and call me selfish when i want to take my own life. i will never promise them that i won’t do it. NEVER. they don’t take it seriously, why would i even try to better myself if they don’t take it seriously 

i think my brother and my sister would be fine my brother is constantly fixated videogames that seem to keep him happy. my sister has a whole kid to worry about

im honestly reaching my breaking point. ive already decided which pills i want to take when the time comes. it’s just a matter of waiting until im not tired and can get up to go take them.

like i told my mom i self harm and all she wants to do is tell me not to do it because my skin looks bad?? are you serious?? im honestly just mad thinking about this whole situation 

all i want is help and i can’t even get that