A couple of nights ago my BPD romantic partner and I got into our first really big argument. A misunderstanding lead to some pain that lead to her feeling like I was abandoning her and then things got really messy. Since then my life has been hell for me; I can't sleep for shit, I have no appetite, and it's really hard to focus on anything else. I know that she's been struggling, too.

We've texted a little bit since then and she says that she loves me and cares for me deeply but so far she has not wanted to meet up again. I would really like to just see her so that I can feel where we're at and that we can hopefully understand each other better and hurt a little bit less. I love her more than I've ever loved anyone and I just want her to be happy and healthy and good, even if that means life without me. But, like, I've got quite a bit of relationship trauma and if things end in this painful place it'd really destroy me..

I've been trying to learn more about her BPD and I know it means that she feels things really deeply and that those feelings can last a lot longer. But I don't know how to approach this situation given her BPD: should I mostly back off and stop reaching out? Should I keep reaching out like I normally would, asking how she's doing, telling her that I miss her? Should I drop off flowers as a little sign of how much I care about her?

Thank you for reading and for any advice &lt;3