I don’t have motivation to do anything, not even the things i like. I got no motivation to draw, game or even just go outside. I wake up in the morning, and already regret it. I am failing school, i can’t even stay home without having to go to the doctor for a note, that i have to give to my teachers. and because i have problems getting out of bed in the morning, i missed alot of first periods (28). And now my school thinks about throwing me out. (I’m from germany and its really strict here) even after telling my teacher i suffer from alot of mental problems, no one cares. I don’t know what to do if they throw me out too.. I tried to OD a few weeks before but i failed. I just wanted a break even if its in a hospital. I also hate my body so much, that i can’t even look in the mirror sometimes. But i have no energy to workout even tho i want too. My parents are divorced, my mom traumatized me as a child, my dad is often depressed and gets really angry sometimes, witch reminds me of my trauma. I cant live with my boyfriend yet, ill have to wait a few years. I also don’t really have friends. I cannot handle this anymore, its making me physically ill too. I need to get to therapy, but ill probably will be on the waiting list for a long time. I want everything to stop, i want to scream.