I'm not trying to discredit the struggles of BPD by any means but just being able to feel so intensely can feel like such a gift to me sometimes. Feeling beauty in art and life so intensely yet still struggling with the looming feeling of emptiness and existentialism within my life. It sometimes just all seems so beautifully complicated that it overwhelms me to the point that it's not even worth experiencing beauty anymore. I just remind myself to relax and enjoy it in the moment while it lasts. 