Without noticing, the antidepressants I was on had pretty much stopped the MD (though I didn’t know MD was an issue, or even something anyone else could xperienced) I now can look back and see that I’ve used this coping method since childhood.

Weird cause I didn’t actually notice this change WHILE I was on the tablets - but now I’m coming off them it’s like “oh shit yeah this is what my head was like before”

Now I’m weaning off my tablets, the MD is back and it is so hard to control, hours and hours pass. This is the first time I’ve been aware of it as something I should try fix. 

I don’t wanna go back on medication and wanna sort this so if anyone has anything that has worked for them and wants to share that’d be appreciated:))