My thought life is constant pain, anxiety and chaos. Nothing fits, nothing works and nothing helps. I’ve been trying for decades to get better and the problem is me and will never go away until my life is over. I wish I could have been born with a normal brain. I am sick of confusion being my baseline. Soon as I have or do one thing, then I long and wish for the opposite. I can’t find peace. I am constantly uncomfortable in my own skin. I need a new body and a new mind. I am obsessed with my skin and flaws. I feel socially hated all the time and I actually am. I have zero friends. Life makes no sense to me and the bad thing is the older I get, the worse it’s getting. My identity crisis is more intense than it’s over been. I literally cannot make up my mind about anything, even small decisions. I am constantly fluctuating. It makes staying faithful or being in a relationship impossible. It’s like a twisted mind game I can’t get out of. Ahhh sorry for the rant.