I don't want to be like this anymore. I know none of us want to be like this. I'm ruining my own life. Addicted to chaos. It's killing my husband. Enjoyment is never found. Just a void. My husband helps a lot, but he can't fix me. No one can. Meds can't. I am just numbing myself so I get that false sense of relief. Cheers 🍻 🥂