had my third therapy session yesterday &amp; tried explaining how/why my dad isn’t in my life and talking about my childhood and felt more fucked up than expected. actually what really is fucking with me is my therapist calling it abuse. asking if i know i experienced domestic abuse, asking how it feels to call my dad an abuser. 

i know she’s right, and these are also things i’ve thought in my head but i’ve never said those words out loud really and it feels so weird now. i just feel weird. not bad, just weird. like i’m now a person who was abused. she sees me as a person who was abused. i mean, more than that, she’s a therapist not like someone who’s judging me but still. just feels really strange to finally say it i guess, i thought i’d been acknowledging it for a long time already but i guess this is something new to call it abuse out loud. don’t really know how i feel exactly