I feel like not only are the negative emotions hard to handle, but so are the positive! There's no relaxed medium, it's just, the sadness is so bad right now, but then when I feel something like love or happiness, it's so overblown and wild. 

I've always been pretty good at staying in the mid ground without exploding, but it constantly feels like self denail, like I'm just wound up, buzzing, vibrating. Constantly fighting impulses, it's exhausting. I feel like a pressure pot about to blow. And sometimes I just do.

I just want to feel within reasonable levels, feel truly and honestly, but not have to reign myself in all the time. Does that make sense?

[EDIT] mentioned feeling of pressure