I feel like I purposely lie to people for the sole reason of secrecy and privacy, I feel as if I need to keep some stuff just for myself and never let anyone really *in* to my life. It has made me distant from way too many people with whom my friendship would be otherwise amazing but this habit of mine to not trust people is really toxic and it makes me feel so bad about myself. I've never lied to hurt anyone but I don't really see any other path I could take in order to keep my stuff secret because in the past there have been many incidents where I've actually trusted people and got back bitten so many times that it has made me into this miserable liar to new people I meet, I have no idea how to fix this issue of mine. Maybe I should just be honest with people but I've done that and it didn't really turn out any good rather they went on and gave out my information to other people. A guy even turned out to be sent by a classmate of mine to be my friend and get to know my insecurities then they both would make fun of me at times. All of this has made me into this weird person and ruined some really fine friendships which otherwise would be so good because I actually bonded with those people, I don't really have a best friend for myself. I hate tangents but this post turned into a vent but I do need advice on how can I improve this toxic habit of mine and should I explain to the people I lied to why I lied or am I supposed to brush it all off like it doesn't ruin my day every day. It's imprinted onto my mind that I've lied to good people and ruined friendships etc and it haunts me everyday. I already have anxiety issues and I'm trying so hard to get rid of all the issues and traumas that cross my mind at random times.