AE choose a path where they make themselves broke and miserable personally, but have somehow clambered into a position to be quite helpful to others? Do you find this calms some of the other sorts of demons? I don't cut, or even drink these days, i still abuse food and isolate... but the kids in my city stand to benefit from it at least.

ETA: It's not health or happiness but maybe it's the best I can hope for, and I should focus on just enduring my awful inner world rather than fruitlessly dreaming of improvement.