My mom was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and schizo effective disorder. A few years ago I was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and a panic disorder. And I’m so scared I’m gonna end up like my mom. She used to have manic episodes mixed with paranoia when I was younger, like she would yell at me when she got angry, then be in a really good mood and take me shopping for way too stuff, and halfway through shopping she’d become convinced that I had planted a listening device on her and yell at me on the way home. And it’s the kind of yelling that’s hard to explain, like the high hysterical kind, and she’d always have a circular point, like she’d yell about the same thing for hours on end, with small breaks only to yell again. And she doesn’t remember any of this from the 10 years it was a big problem in my childhood. And I’m just so worried I’m gonna be that to someone, and I won’t know or remember it. Or that I’m gonna end up alone, like she has, because she’s pushed everyone away. Like what if my disorder gets that bad, and I can’t do anything to stop it?