TW// If you’re on this subreddit just think before clicking, yeah?



My mathematics is getting on my nerves, I  need to get it up to a C. I’m not a bad student, I get As in Biology and Chemistry. I just made a bad choice for my a-levels because they do not suit me. I’m absolutely terrified and just wish I did computer science or something simpler. I feel a depressive episode coming on and I have obsessive compulsive which causes SH, but not the cutting kind. More like tearing skin, over brushing my teeth (usually goes on for half an hour) and the worst bit it the hair loss from hair pulling. “Just control it” doesn’t work, it happens during sleep too.

The worst part is sometimes during an episode I can’t find the energy to brush my teeth, drink or eat. I get gum infections easily and it causes me to go into a breakdown.

I feel like shit for feeling shit I’m just not good enough for my family but killing myself would be a bigger sin.

I’m so fucking done, and I can’t speak to anyone about this. Not my parents or teachers or friends because I’ll be judged or hurt further.