How do I get over this feeling of revenge. I was diagnosed with bpd(20) three years after fully cutting off my abusers(17). Now I’m 22 and cannot help but feel consumed with making my parents feel how they made me feel. 

Ive thrown ideas around like writing a long winded letter or meeting them for lunch and just talking AT them. But none of these feel right. My parents would just read a letter and demean me in private, neglecting every word I said. Talking in person could not portray the hurt they put me through. For christ sake I have a disorder that is literally formed through trauma/abuse. 

Lately, all of the written testimony of this visual toll they put me through I’ve obtained proof all of what they’ve done. 

Not only would I have my disorder as proof but I also have court records proving they broke the law when they sent me back to my drug addicted, prostitute, dealer, abusive mother. And they did this three times. I also have chat logs of my step mother admitting the abuse tactics she’d take to punish me when my dad was at work. 

All of this said they also both owe YEARS of child support. And when I lived with my birth father and step mom they used my government checks for themselves and used me as an excuse to get foodstamps. And eventually started having kids every five years to stay on wic. 

I want to take them to court. I want to go to my university lawyers and set a case up. I can’t help but want to ruin their lives with zero remorse. 

Does anyone think this is worth it? If not how did y’all get over these intense feelings?