As the days and nights go by I find myself progressively becoming more and more fascinated with death. I start looking into various ways others have taken their lives and started mentally weighing my options as to which would best fit me. 

I was conceived in this bleak world just to experience hurt pain and misery endlessly while having the displeasure of seeing others succeed where I fail. Was always despised in my lifetime since a young child. The future holds nothing but mental health declines and aloneness. 

Those resting rn in their graves I envy you all. You got out when you could. Now I just gotta make my escape.