I stupidly had unprotected hookup sex with a guy from a dating app who came in me twice. I wasn't worried about pregnancy because I have an IUD but I realized in retrospect that he could've given me STDs (I came out of a 7.5 year relationship and this my first time in the dating scene so it's not something I've had to think about). He said he had a lot of sexual partners and I don't know how safe he's been with each of them. After we parted, I asked him about his sexual history but he's been ignoring all my calls and texts (though he seems to be looking at my instagram stories still so he isn't completely fallen off the radar). 

I'm terrified I could've contracted HIV. I went to the ER, produced samples to test for Gonorrhoea and  Chlamydia, and asked for PEP -- the HIV prevention drug. But I had surpassed the 72-hour window -- within which the meds are effective -- as I was waiting for the doctor to write up the prescription. He reassured me that my chances of having contracted are low (I know that statistically it's &lt;1% risk) and said taking the meds will be better than nothing. I'm not convinced that they'll do much so I might be taking a 28-day program of pills in vain... 

I just can't get over the fact that I've doubled the risk by receiving his ejaculation twice. I am trying not to kick myself for what happened because what's done is done. I realize there's absolutely nothing I can do besides continue with the meds, wait a few weeks to get tested, then get retested after that. I am going to try and avoid looking up symptoms too, otherwise I might psychosomatically induce them. 

I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for the worst case scenario and through reading I've become aware that a life with HIV is not the end of the world after having read about the advancement of antiviral medication and testimonies of HIV-positive people who live relatively normal lives. However, I fear the possibility of having to depend on daily med consumption and a good drug plan to keep me healthy and alive. :(

Just needed to get this off my chest. Hoping to find online support and to hear from others who've been in a similar boat.