It's really hard for me to push through, to reach a place in my mind where depression and anxiety don't have such a crippling strangle hold on my thoughts and actions and nearly every aspect of my conscious mind. It takes a lot of courage. I don't have friends, not ones that I can talk to on any real level. I am isolated af, it's excruciating to just exist day after day, I can't think of any worse person to be alone with than myself, and despite all that.. there's one place where I can feel like I'm part of something worthwhile. Where it's not hard to find countless other humans who are into the same kind of shit I'm into and who appreciate the same things that I do.  But like I said, my mental health often gets in the way. Social anxiety isn't just feeling anxious in a crowd or getting the nerves when giving a speech. For me it's a phobia of judgement, ridicule, public failure and is characterized by the avoidance of any such situations.. but I feel ok on reddit, normally. Lately though people don't seem to care, just hating with no questions asked. When I see a post that resonates with me or aligns with my own experience in some way, I want to think it's okay for me to add my 2 cents in there... however worthless my 2 cents may be to anyone else.. I just want  some kind of human connection, guys. Dont hate on someone for having the courage to reach out or speak up. I loathe myself enough as it is, I don't need help with that. Sorry.... this is dumb I know. I just hate how easy I can go from cautiously optimistic to full on self-hate fest whenever I'm down voted right off the bat for no apparent reason. I can't possibly feel like more of a piece of shit right now.