I’m not sure if I’m the only one who feels this way but I figured I would post here to figure that out. When I wasn’t on my medication and managing my bipolar disorder the way I should be I was a very bad person. I wasn’t loyal I accused friends of doing things that they didn’t do and I was just go off on these random tangents about nothing. It really wasn’t good.

But now I am on medication and I am taking care of myself and my bipolar disorder but I feel like I could lose that at any second and to buffer that I can give presents to my friends and work associates because I value them and I wanna stay in their good graces because I’m scared of the day that I lose a part of myself again to this disease and become something I’m not. It’s 68 expensive but I don’t know how to stop I don’t know how to stop being afraid that I’m gonna lose everything that I’ve worked for and I feel like I need to give out these things to people to see thank you for working with me and thank you for helping me and I’m sorry in advance for bad things that I may or may not do.