I lost any hope. I'm sad and I don't know what to do...My life could've been amazing, but I'm not , I'm troubled, depressed , angry, chaotic ...I feel like I'm spinning in a spiral of troubles but I don't have the b@lls to kill myself.But I have  a wonderful GF but I think she s sick of me and its fucking hard bcs I love her so much.. Any advice on how to  not destroy my life and how to see the world a better place?