My mid fourties are creeping up on me, by the time I post this, I’ll be another year older. 

I’ve been dealing with anxiety since I can remember, but it really became a life problem when I entered the workforce full time. Every day some silly work issue or other was treated as an urgent crisis, that of course had to be acted on with the energy of a thousand suns, because no job no home no food. Even while working one year, food insecurity was a major stressor, and I’d regularly end up living on stone soup for 3 days before the next paycheck. That was a long time ago, but sticks with me because I’d moved to a different country, then had the, seemingly trustworthy, employer cut my pay in half. Not going to touch other memories of completely missed paychecks in unstable companies. Our modern work culture has really rewired my brain. I find little enjoyment in anything anymore, where I was once highly engaged in charity activities and planning fundraisers and other community events in my free time, these days its gin and Netflix.

Without going through decades of tales of panic attacks and doctors and health anxiety (some unexpectedly justified) and poor coping and life management skills - even a couple hospitalizations - that stemmed from this battle, just wanted to say thanks to this community for sharing and facing it together. I read often but if I’ve posted, it hasn’t been in a very long time. And it helps to know I’m not alone in it. 

As much as the public buzz is that we can talk about mental health, there really is still a huge stigma talking about it. I’ve spent years on SSRIs and whatnot and finally have just found a kind of solution in ativan, meditation, healthy eating and excercise. With a bit of laughter about it all with friends in the same boat. 

Anyway just a rambling thanks for sharing your stories from all us lurkers.