I just don't know what's wrong with me anymore. I've started to self harm again and I wish I was dead. But I want to be murdered, not taking my own life but for someone or something to kill me. I'm explosive, I scream and kick off more and loose my temper almost instantly to the point I have to stop myself from getting something to harm someone or something. I've had two ambulances in the past 24 hours come for me, and now the police are looking for me. I'm just done with everything and I want to be gone. 