Why does everything feel suffocating. I’m F(20) just coming back from college for the summer , I don’t really have a place to go I’ve been couch hoping because my very very religious grandmother makes me uncomfortable as I am atheist and my mother is abusive and comes with it’s own set of struggles but it seems like I have to pick my poison because I have no where to go until I find a good job and find a place. But honestly I’ve questioned if sleeping in my car was so bad. On top of that I’ve messed up with my FP I ignored her because I felt her pulling back from me which is toxic in and of itself but honestly I was scared of losing her and I thought maybe if I pulled away she’d express how much she missed me. I was wrong as I always am and all it did was validate that she can go on in life without me which I knew as well. I know this is wrong and a foolish way of thinking I wish I didn’t act like this. I blame myself and I wish everything would just stop I know right now i’m just spiraling and come tomorrow or even after tomorrow I’ll be fine but it feels overwhelming. I wish I could stop feeling if just for a moment.