i’ve been through a lot in my life. i’m not special, i know that we all have been through a lot. but fuck, i can’t do it anymore. i have nothing left. the current problem that broke me today is that my dad ghosted me a couple months ago (he was in prison pretty much my whole life so i’m used to him being gone, but this time he just blocked me out of the blue cuz he couldn’t handle the shame of his bad fathering. which i understand, he’s bipolar and things are hard. still hurts tho). anyway, last night was really bad for me, and i was like “fuck it, i’ll call him and see what happens.” he picked up, didn’t know it was me at first, but once he realized, he acted like i had the wrong number. he apologized, we “made up,” and i thought i would be relieved cuz i honestly thought he was dead or back in prison for the past few months. and yet i feel worse than i did before (: