the concept of connection makes no sense to me and i have this weird loneliness/ emptiness and my mind keeps telling me that the right thing to do is to stop seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist because everyone including professionals are out to get me and think I’m dramatic. and im really debating on stopping therapy all together because of this mental battle in my head telling me that i feel normal and fine and what happened to me is normal and fine, and people telling me in my head that i need to shut up. And also feeling like everything i feel is fake and that i’m lying about it. if i feel even slightly threatened regarding trauma comparing, rejection, or ig abandonment (sometimes my mind makes it up completely) i lose my shit or shut down. I feel so attacked. I feel hated and forgotten and alone.