I have suffered with clinical depression from a very young age. My family neglected me. I was bullied for being weird by my peers in school as I was never taught socially acceptable behaviour. I have always felt repulsive and alien to society itself.

This has gone on into adulthood. I've wasted so many years, rotting away. I've been a recluse for over ten years now. I feel drained and hopeless. I've learnt to endure the pain but I've gotten to used to living in a bubble, completely detached from others. There have been times I have opened up to people and have been taken advantage of or laughed at. Causing me to isolate myself again.

At this point I can either change or die. I don't like living in this sort of limbo. My faith in psychiatry is null as well, I'm never taken seriously and always written off. Can someone change their ways at this point in life? I've neglected myself to such an extent. I have no education past high school. I cannot function at this point but I'm still here because I believe that one day I can change, but where do I start?