Hi I suffer from lots of trauma that I have never told anyone about ever! It impacts me daily! Like I’m definitely not okay. I’m a minor, I don’t want to bring this up to my therapist until I understand what’s going on I guess? Pls give me some advice idk what I should do. I guess I’m trying to rationalize this.

I have very unhealthy coping habits. Eating disorder, cutting, excess use of substances. But like I feel like I check-out sometimes. Like I’m here, only I’m a few steps back. I can’t remember long periods of time. Like months at a time. But I don’t know if this is something else? No one notices around me. I don’t really know what’s going on. My friends just think I get “seasonal depression” but I feel like it’s becoming more frequent. I guess I’m seeking validation? Like this is a real problem that other people have?  or what should i know about these things?