Over the last several years my relationship with my wife has deteriorated to the point where I didn't even know how to talk to her. We've both said and done very hurtful things this past year but she has always been a huge source for my strength.

On Christmas Eve following another fight I found an online dating profile she had made, when I confronted her she said she needs time to work on herself. I understand this, and I do not want to push her. Ive recently signed up for therapy (my first appointment is Tuesday) and Im not suicidal but I can see all the mistakes I've ever made and how it all went wrong.

I feel like I've had a breakthrough but its too late. Nothing will ever be the same. The pain is unbearable and I have no choice but to bear it, I can't leave my kids or her. I love them all so much I just don't how to be.

No real point to this, just had to get it off my chest. Thanks for reading.