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I have scheduled a meeting with a counselor/therapist on the 12th of this month, a program provided through my job. This was done about a month ago, and before then I was told that due to the long wait, I could speak to someone else if I felt the need. I don’t know how this session is going to be. I know they give you a few per year, you can ask for more, but they aren’t really forthcoming with how much they will limit you to, past the few they say you are guaranteed. So, here is my issue, I called a few days ago to talk about my social anxiety. I feel that I have this along with BPD, I also heard from a therapist on YouTube (don’t flay me), that if you don’t work on certain issues in the right order, sometimes you can make your condition worse. Social anxiety is something that should be addressed before BPD, from what I have learned. 

So, I decided to call and speak with someone about some strategies I could employ to help address some of my issues caused by social anxiety. Anyways, during that call the person said that what I had was a long standing issue and what they do is something that is more intermittent and that I would have to look for more long term help, like through my insurance. Some issues from my anxiety, I sometimes shake slightly (probably imperceptibly) or get really stiff when at a stop light, because I think all the people in the cars are looking at me. I find it hard to show emotions in public, like laughing, smiling, crying, or anything that would draw attention to myself. I don’t like clubs and avoid parties because going into a room filled with people I don’t know where I would dance in front of and display emotions in front of seems like fate worse than death. One of my longer standing issues connected with social anxiety is intimacy. So, if someone, a guy attempts to come up to me and engage in small talk, this is too much for me to endure and I instantly look for an out. Let’s just say I have a preoccupation with crowds or people I don’t know and their possible views of me, which makes me extremely anxious. Did I mention I don’t like to be touched? This has gotten a bit better though, if I know it was done in a purely platonic way. 

Surprisingly, I actually have no issues at my job, and am still able to go out and about and don’t avoid public spaces like grocery stores, parks and even restaurants. So long as I feel I have autonomy and can come and go as I please, those types of loose interactions don’t bother my social anxiety. But my issue is here, does anyone know of coping mechanisms I can employ to help address my social anxiety? I do plan on looking into my insurance to see if I can speak with a psychiatrist and get a diagnosis, but based on my symptoms, I am fairly certain I could benefit from help in that arena. Also, the counseling will be on BPD, not social anxiety, that is why I want to be able to address social anxiety as I am speaking to a counselor on BPD.