I'm in a very bad position. I've completed my post-graduate degree. My dream to pursue Ph.D. is going nowhere. I am literally stuck in my house with people I hate. But I hate myself the most. Whenever I look in the mirror I just wanna tear myself down. Idk how to deal with this. I sabotage every good thing in my life, cause I feel like I don't deserve them. I'm afraid I am gonna lose whatever sanity that's left. I've tried consulting various psychologists and psychiatrists but no one knows what to do with me. 

Any suggestions on coping skills would be very much appreciated. Thank you.