In my [20M] previous coming out posts, I described my process of coming out which was… traumatic and emotionally charged to say the least. However, my parents have been trying to be more understanding, which I appreciate, but they’re still navigating a lot and unintentionally say things that impact me very negatively. 

A huge concern of mine was anyone getting sick/dying after finding out about my sexuality. My family is VERY, VERY homophobic, and I couldn’t ever tell my (quite old) grandparents. Except my parents reinforced the fact that they can’t ever know because they’ll mentally die, which was a huge fear of me. My mother started yelling at me yesterday as well, and among other things, she said she can’t even face her parents if they ask if I have a girlfriend 

All of my emotions built up over the past few days, and I had a panic attack at dinner several minutes after everything happened, which I NEVER experienced before. The triggers were my grandparents dying because of me + my mother’s yelling. The image of my grandparents flashed before me right at the height of my panic attack, and when my mom started raising her voice again, it almost triggered a second one.

I was at work tonight, and there was a sustained loud noise from the soda machine that just pumped out compressed air instead of soda, and it nearly caused another panic attack for me. Also, when customers started talking loudly/shouting to each other (playfully, not even negatively), it took me a few seconds to ground myself. 

Will this eventually pass? Is this just a singular response due to my anxiety over coming out, or is it likely to be sustained?