my mom and i have never seen eye to eye. i was at my lowest in high school, and while she took me to weekly therapy i was still struggling immensely. i was self harming myself on my forearms and pelvis. i tried to take my own life a total of 3 times- one of which i told her about the next day. i had tried to overdose on robatussion. i tripped really hard and got scared so made myself throw up. i didn’t sleep at all and the next day was a saturday, i was supposed to have math tutoring that morning. when i hear her up i go into her room and tell her what happened. she begins screaming at me and saying that it wasn’t even a real attempt and i was fine. i still had to sit through my tutor lesson that morning. 

we just had a major blow out phone call and i brought this to her attention and she was flabbergasted i felt that way and the whole time she thought i was okay and she did her best. but to me (and numerous friends at the time) i was far from it. we ended on rough terms. on one hand it feels good to get that off my chest, yet her reaction has me feeling low. i know she did try her best, she emotionally wasn’t able to give me what i needed at that time but she tried. it still doesn’t diminish that i was where i was still. sorry for the rant and if that makes zero sense i’m just in a million different places and had to just write it out.