i had an extreme emotional shift and i frantically msg my friend who runs a group chat and i said please remove me from the group. and then i said impulsive thing in group (it was harmless) so i deleted it before any one responded. because it kicked up my abandonment fears. then 1 person asked me why i deleted and that people just mute me if they find it annoying. so my brain went in abandonment loop that they all find me annoying. so i panic more and tried to explain why i deleted it. then he acted like i dont know what to call it. he asked me to criticize him and i didn't have a criticism, this wasn't ever about criticism. my brain was in circles. i was sobbing and i can't quite  recall. my head hurts so much from crying. turns out it was all my anxiety and he wasn't upset at me he asked me why i said sorry because he didn't ask for an apology and i said i said sorry because i did something wrong.. i don't feel ok.  

my head hurts so bad from panicing, everyones going to see me embarrass myself