This will pass. Rationally I know it will. It always does.

But right now I've sobbed until I have a headache. I hate myself. I hate my decisions lately. I would be better off in everyone's life if I wasn't in it. I am a failure and rhat will never change.

And as awful as I feel right now, I know that I won't feel like this always. And in a way that makes me so angry because I can't even trust how I feel. I can't even trust myself to interpret the world around me rationally.

I don't have a friend that I'd feel comfortable reaching out to to talk. I don't want to be a burden. What would I even say? "Hey, I'm sad." What is anyone even supposed to say to that? So I guess I'm just typing it here, into the ether of the internet where some people may relate.

Idk. I feel a lot of things right now but also nothing at all