I wrote this Blog post but I wanted to share :)

Sometimes when I sit with my girl and we talk about things that make us happy, she struggles with really finding things to list off. At first i thought that maybe it was one of those moments where she just cant think of things on the spot. I usually get kind of tongue tied when put on the spot for any kind of information needed immediately as well. For example, the famous question of “tell me 3 of your strengths”.  If I were to sit down and think, I would probably be able to write down a pretty decent list. So why is it that on the spot people generally have a hard time thinking of just 3?

Here are my thoughts on the subject. Listing off reasons why you are great and being so positive about who you are should be seen as one being confident, secure and having knowledge about their own selves. When in fact, all of those things are actually seen as being cocky and self centered. So due to negative social standards, when asked this question people, feel like they need to stop themselves from listing off 3 or even more because they are scared of judgement. Now lets do a visualization, imagine having a diagnoses for a personality disorder where, even without having someone ask you a question like the one above, you are already over thinking everything about yourself on a daily basis. Not only are you overthinking everything about yourself, but then that overthinking is bringing on anxiety, which then brings out social fears, which then leads to social seclusion and then next thing you know you have called in sick to 3 of your shifts and have not left the comfort of your bed or couch. All because of one single question.

How did that visualization make you feel? Now imagine that, being your reality. Questioning everything about yourself, especially without anyone asking you such question. Imagine happiness and self love being something that is so hard to obtain on a daily basis that after struggling for so long you just give up. Its hard enough just to exist that every thing else is put aside.

When interacting with someone who has a personality disorder or any kind of mental illness, do not jump to conclusions. Do not assume ANYTHING. Never make statements before knowing facts. You never know what someone is dealing with and what their inner demons look like, because most of the time, she has a hard time even knowing what her demon is. She can feel angry at herself to the point that the only thing appealing to her is the idea of bashing her head on the wall so hard that maybe the feeling will go away, but having absolutely no idea why she feels this way. I have grown to not only love her for the woman she is, but for the strength that it takes for her to survive EVERY.SINGLE.DAY! She has helped me grow and greatly minimize the amount of assumptions I make about a person.