at 18/19 mental health professionals suggested i might have bpd, but i wasn't officially diagnosed until 21. the psych i saw since i was 15 would consistently tell me it was either bipolar 2 or bpd, but most likely not bpd because im "too self-aware". mind you, i fit all nine criteria for bpd. 

yes i am self-aware about my own issues, AFTER going to dbt and in general as i grow older. however, just because i am self-aware and self-critical doesn't mean im rational because i certainly am not.

i hate this narrative that people with bpd aren't self-aware and we are just mindlessly wrecking our lives. i honestly think its quite the opposite, i think most of us are just severely hurting on the inside and intentionally do certain thinks based off our fears/irrational thoughts.

let me know your thoughts! :)