I had to work so hard to come to where I am at this point only to discover I am all alone. I'm losing the love of my life, and its paralyzing me. I am all alone no matter who I'm around. My best friend killed himself in 2017 and it has traumatized me and closed me off. My home situation is very difficult. Ive had to drop out of college now and stop working and here I am at 24 feeling the same way i felt when I was 14. I like to see myself as a positive person but years of trauma, medical problems, emotional abuse, theyve taken it out of me. I have done everything, I exercise, Ive been on medication before, been in therapy, etc. I was 'better' for a while when i just shut myself down entirely and lately ive started to allow myself to just feel everything and it is destroying me. I'm just out of options and I dont know what to do with myself anymore.