When I was 5, I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. However, throughout the years people have told me it could have been a misdiagnosis because I act like a normal human being (for the most part which is mainly because of how my parents raised me). That being said, after doing some digging, I have checked off nearly every symptom of schizophrenia I can find. Auditory hallucinations, olfaction hallucinations (smelling things other people don't smell), visual hallucinations which aren't as common as the other two. I regularly experience paranoia and when I lived in the city, I would frequently think people are following me or watching me or are after me because I'm special for a reason I don't know. However now that I live in a rural area, that paranoia has calmed down although when I take walks I frequently look around and behind me to see if anyone is following me and I check everything in my bedroom water I come home from school if I've been bugged with cameras or someone looked through my stuff. And yes, I do currently think I have a special ability. Mental. When I dream, I can see glimpses of the future although I don't know when these things will happen, but most often they do. I experience negative emotions such as despair, loneliness, isolation, and anger. I fantasize about physically and verbally hurting others which I never act upon. I have an estimated I.Q of 135+ which puts me in the near genius category, however this is not an accurate representation of my I.Q, it's just an estimation. Why I mention this is because there is a frequent correlation between high I.Q and people with mental illness or mental disorders such as schizophrenics, people with autism, ADHD, depression, etc.. This is not to say 135 is a high I.Q. And lastly and most disturbingly, I consciously emotionally detach myself from most situations in my life. I don't talk to my family much and honestly am glad they're out of my life to a certain degree because of how much I disliked them. But I won't go into personal details about my family. Interacting with people is a chore I'd rather not go through but I go through the motions of participating in small talk and ending it with a pretentious goodbye such as "I hope you have a good day!" or "Nice outfit." I often say offensive things but I don't mean to be offensive. To me, I think I'm simply doing them a service by telling them the truth. This is a lot of information but simultaneously, probably not enough. I want help because if I don't get any, who knows what I'll do. I feel like I have two personalities. One of which is calm and wants to support people while listening to indie music. The other is chaotic neutral and doesn't care for anyone but himself. They listen to devilish rap music which they frequently enjoy but use the excuse, "It controls my anger by allowing me to fantasize releasing this anger in situations which will likely never happen." Honestly, I think I'm batshit insane. I just want answers.