Like many of you, I spent the majority of my life battling depression… years trying different meds… work caused me to have a burnout and breakdown last year, which pushed me to try yet another med combination and after a few months it was working. A few months of life where things were okay, I was even happy pretty often. Now two weeks ago I lost my best friend and I have been lost since then. Mornings are the worst because she was the first thing I would see when I woke up, and I talked to her during my morning routine. Commutes home are the 2nd worst because I know she is not waiting for me. Cooking dinner is impossible without crying because she was always there watching me waiting for scraps. 

I always knew there was more pain than joy in life but right now that fact is all I can think about all day long. Even when this pain fades it will still be a dark lump inside me that I’ve managed to bury. I don’t even want it gone, because that means I’ve forgotten her.