I'm just wondering how you have felt and reacted when your partner broke up with you or when you had a big fight and they stopped talking to you? 

TW- 
My partner was never diagnosed but I had strong beliefs he had bpd. We broke up and he went very downhill (full mania, contacting me 100x a day) and died not long after. It's been really horrible. I feel so horrible and guilty. I would just like to know how break ups feel for people with BPD?