Do any of you experience this vague feeling of being undeserving of life (or at least enjoying it) and the more you enjoy life, the bigger punishment awaits for you in the end? But you can't really enjoy things to the fullest because you know the punishment is coming. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

It feels almost if you've stolen something and you're being chased and it's just a matter of time before you're caught.

It's not really a fear of hell since I don't believe in it and the feeling's not very strong usually, but it does bother me.