When I was younger, I was outwardly clingy and codependent with several people, friends, partners, exes, etc. I don't think it's a coincidence that these were all people whom I opened up to about my mental health issues, and when they responded with concern, I felt like I could trust them completely and that I was entitled to their time and energy spent on consoling me. 

Long story short, all of them put me in my place, and after I moved to a new city I decided to not open up anymore. I occasionally bring up that I see a therapist or vent about work stress with friends, but everything else is off the table. As a result...I'm noticeably keeping people at a distance. I don't want to get to the point with new friends where I let a little of my dark thoughts slip out and then feel like I can do that all the time with them, but understandably this is making me very lonely and I'm in a lot of pain. When people ask if everything's alright because I can barely hold back my emotions, I can't exactly say "no, and I'd really like to talk about it, but that would probably ruin things between us and you'll regret ever having asked." And then I feel guilty for making people worry about me when I can't tell them anything! But I also feel like withdrawing is also a form of attention-seeking for me, because I still do want people to ask. 

Ugh. Every website about mental health issues is like "find a support network and talk to someone if you're in a crisis" but I'm basically the exception to that.