Wow idk wtf is going on with me. Maybe it’s the hangover, but also maybe it’s just life

I am so immeasurably sad today, like the sadness and loneliness that keeps washing over me. I’ve just been sobbing all day. And it’s one of those wierd “now I’m happy, now I’m sad” things, as if all my emotions were fucking exploding all at the same time.

I feel like a mess. I feel like a coward. I’m almost 30 and have been single for 6 years. I feel so pathetic. I’m too cowardly to reach out and start plans with people. I have friends and a solid network but I know I’m too much for people and they pull away.

Everything is okay, and at the same time it so isn’t.