It’s like you think shit sucks when you’re having a full blown episode and then one day you wake up and decide you want to try harder to get better. You don’t want to take your life, you want to find happiness again.

Then it hits that while you were disassociating, depressed, and basically losing your shit, you ruined your entire FUCKING life and putting it back together is going to take energy you still just don’t have. it’s like i’d rather stay drowning in my self pity than face the harsh reality i created for myself.

and by you, i mean me. 

WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO. i am going to fail my classes if i can’t pull this off and i really just don’t think there are enough hours in the day☹️☹️