I'm not really looking for advice I guess.. I think I just need to tell someone who doesn't know me about this.. 
I've had some tough things happen in life, like everyone, ya know? So I just try to go with it and not dwell so much on things and keep moving forward. 
Sometimes, of course I get angry or sad when I can't help but over think these moments in my life. Sometimes I'll shake, or tear up, I get butterflies in my stomach and... I just feel like I'll explode or like something awful will happen or that I AM the something awful happening...if any of that makes sense at all.
Anyway, I tried watching a new show on Netflix called Maid
I thought it might be good, and I didn't get very far in to the first episode (maybe 10 minutes?). I started seeing flash backs of my life while watching what this girl was going through. I cried uncontrollably, and couldn't breath for a moment, my heart was pounding..I have never felt like that before. And afterwards, HOURS afterwards, I just, I didn't feel right and I wanted to talk to someone but couldn't. 
I'm looking for therapy,  but in the meantime, and it might not be healthy, I just try my hardest to bury it all down. Hold it in and hope it just goes away somehow. 
Anyway, thanks for listening if you read this.. sorry if I didn't put it in the right sub or whatever