I have had a bad month. I was dealing with a mixed episode for too long. While trying to manage it, my boyfriend dumps me. He was very supportive of me managing my bipolar and everything associated. The break up was unexpected. The day before, he had asked me what else he can do to help me and wanted me to even ask my therapist for more resources for him. 

Anyways, I fall apart and contact my team. I got the help I needed. I more or less stabilize. 

I still feel unsettled. I feel like I failed in some way to have gotten dumped like I did. The thoughts running in my head nonstop is to stop my meds. What’s it matter anyways? My life sucked when I was unmedicated but it’s not good while on them either. I can’t seem to stop thinking about just saying fuck it and stopping them.