Long story short my ex (29 M) and I (25 F) were together for 9 years, cheated on me once that I knew about (sexted a man), and then threw me away for another man. I’m certain he cheated on me another time after that (he went to another state for a while with a guy he told me he was interested in and brought me back a gift which was something he never did). He was cruel to me in a lot of ways and even almost two years later I’m still working through a lot of the scars he left. 

I started dating a wonderful man. He (32 M) is everything that I could have ever asked for. I love him dearly, but as much as I love him I’m terrified of reliving what I went through with him.

Right now I’m visiting my mom in another state. He couldn’t get the time off so he stayed home. I texted him earlier today after he got off of work, and he texted back hours later that he had taken a nap and just gotten up which was why he never responded. 

But, we both play the Nintendo switch and I saw that he was online after he got home and had gotten off a minute before he texted me. So he wasn’t sleeping at least for a while before he texted me back. Now I can’t get it out of my head that he’s cheating on me. 

In my heart I know he wouldn’t. He really just isn’t that kind of a person. We have an amazing relationship and haven’t fought once in over a year together (may not mean much but my ex and I fought every day). He also moved here from another state last year so he doesn’t have a lot of contacts where we live. I highly doubt that he would cheat on me, but now I have this nagging fear weighing on me that he is. Now I can’t help but picture everything I went through with my ex but with my current bf instead. All over a very small thing that really shouldn’t make a difference. 

He has not given me any reason to suspect him. He hasn’t cheated on me, talked to other women, commented on other women, etc. He is extremely attentive and we have a very healthy sex life. But these thoughts are starting to make me sick. 

How do I stop worrying about something that is probably false? How do I stop assuming the worst in my life when I have no reason to believe that something bad will happen except my own anxieties.