He was my friend and when I called him out about it yesterday. He told me that if it did bothered me for years, then why am I only speaking about it just now.

My body suddenly froze up, my hands are a bit shaky and for a moment I find it hard it to breathe. That assault made me hypersexual, I was raped, physically assaulted right after that. AND HE'S MAKING IT SEEM LIKE IT WAS MY FAULT. It triggered me so much. I got scared. I felt like I was about to hurt myself.

There's so much on my plate right now but I still can't function. I don't know how to calm down.