so i have major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety and i’ve been struggling with it for about 6 or 7 years now, although i’ve only been medicated for about half a year or so. i’ve reached a point where i’m considering ending it all for good, no dipping my toes into the water on if this or that might put me in a coma or not. i’ve already contacted the hotline, but it didn’t really help. on call, they usually just never pick up or force me to either put my parents on call (since i’m a minor) or they’ll send police. i got out of a mental institution around 7 months ago, and i’ve vowed to never go back to such a shitty place, which is also tempting me to end it for good. I don’t want to survive my attempt and go back there. i don’t have friends to talk to about this stuff and my family isn’t reliable with it. 
i’m scrambling for just a small glimmer of hope, please just anything. can anyone talk me out of it so i don’t hurt my family? i don’t want them to see my body. i’m hoping for just anything so i don’t do it for sure this time.