i have panic attacks unlike anything i have ever seen - i scream to the top of my lungs, kick, and get tics to the point it looks like i’m having a seizure, alongside with self harm. today, my little sister heard me scream from having a panic attack, to which my mother responded by telling me i traumatize my sister. she’s seven, and i love her more than anything in the world, and i have never felt more guilt on my hands than this very moment. she was hiding under the blankets in her room and crying. i’ve been trying to improve my mental health for years, and it truly has improved SO much. this is my first intense panic attack in a good two years (because i didn’t take my pills last night), and now i’m left dealing with guilt. my mom keeps blaming me, and i feel like absolute shit. i have never let myself panic to the extreme extent in front of her, i want to protect her, but now i’m left feeling like a monster. can anyone else relate to this? i’m sixteen, i can’t move out just yet. this hasn’t happened for years, now i’m left feeling abusive.