I wrote this when I was going through a hard time and the relationship I was in at the time started to fall apart. It really came from my heart, because it can be very frustrating and exhausting to deal with at times. I wanted to share this because I hope it could be of any use or comfort for people suffering from BPD, or anyone that has a loved on that does. 

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I have been going over this so many times in my head

And I can't seem to find any words, that I haven't already said

It's nearly impossible to explain what occupies my mind

When I don't even understand myself most of the time

I've always lived my life like this, believing I was fine

I'm so used to it, I've grown to call it mine

But then you came along, you made me feel different

you made me feel strong

And I never knew that love could be this way

You give me a purpose, and I just hope that you'll stay

Because I'm messed up and confused inside

And there are so many things from the past haunting my mind

I try my hardest to keep it all to myself,

To stop me from dragging you into my hell

And though all I want is to make you happy

and be the person you always dreamt that I would be,

I tend to lose myself sometimes

It doesn't take much, maybe just an odd look from somebody's eyes

And then everything seems to fade

And all the things I know I love, are now the things I hate

But I don't let anyone see

The only one that knows when I fall apart, is me

And now I've found such an unfamiliar understanding of love

This has to be the 'love' that everybody speaks of

You make me feel so beautiful and loved in every way

That it's hard for me not to be with you everyday

It's just that I've never felt like this before

And it makes me want to escape from myself even more

But in this extreme fear to lose you, I tend to hold on too tight

Because I'm so afraid to let go, even if we fight

And it's stupid because often I'm too blinded to see

That the only one that keeps pushing you away, is me.


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Thanks for reading! I hope it was of any use to you. &lt;3

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EDIT;
I'm not even sure if I'm allowed to just post this here, so if not please let me know! 

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Also, I edited my post so I could elaborate; I just want to make it clear that I didn't share this because I want people to praise me for my work. I just know how much it helps when I can relate to other peoples stories and see myself in them when I'm at a very low point. It helps me fight the isolation and loneliness knowing that I'm not the only one, and I use it to ground myself when I struggle with my identity or when I'm going through a period of dissociation. 

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With that said, I'm sorry for all the edits (this will be the last one lol) but I'm still a bit of a noob on Reddit! Hahaha :) 