Father with cancer

Girlfriend of 7 years ghosted me. Reemerges 3 years later announcing she's engaged.

Treatment resistant depression. Tried a lot of medications, nothing works.

Therapy is fine. 34 sessions in, expensive but fine.

I want to die. Saw someone ranting while getting coffee. Screaming about how life was hard for him as a white male and the Asians were taking his job. He was yelling at people coming/going. I had no fear. I wanted him to do something to me. Beat me up. Pull out a knife. I don't care, I don't care, I don't care. Put me out of my misery. 

I want the cancer in my body. I want to die.