Hello all, i’m so sorry if this turns out rant-y but i just need to talk to someone. I dropped out of uni after my first year but after lots and lots of applications I finally got accepted to an internship in the field I am passionate about. It’s been over 2 weeks since I started and I have been in so much agony inside because I feel like the other interns are better than me and I am constantly judged (i know this is normal i mean this is a job) but i literally cannot take it, i am soooo overwhelmed and anxious to the point of shaking during our group conference calls. I feel like I am doing everything wrong and they’re gonna fire me (they called me unresponsive because I wasn’t able to take one call) and haven’t paid my bit yet as I didnt send them an email with my breakdown of days i work (i left the hours on the invoice), i feel like i am avoiding doing these things without realising because i fear that i will do them wrong and they will hate me!!! I am so confused. I mean i am so out of my comfort zone, i am quiet and mostly just hang out by myself and my bf. That’s how it’s been up until now- in school, i accepted this is how i am and i will not be able to connect with most people. But i cant use the same ideology for jobs, since i’d probably never be employed then. I decided i’m going back to counselling to work through being an ‘adult’ since i am soo in shock and unprepared. Please send me love and wish me luck, all i wanna do is cry atm, i feel like a failure and like they all hate me, and those thoughts always make me feel like filth to the point of wanting to self destruct. :((((((/)/££ trying to stay rationnnall.