So I’ve been feeling crazy for the past couple months just constant anxiety every day thinking I’m dying thinking I have blood clots thinking I have heart failure along with tumors in my brain and just thinking I’m going to die any second. So pretty much life has been crap but I’ve taken it day by day and it’s slowly getting better and I’m happy. After being in the hospital countless times and racking up huge medical bills I feel like some weight has been lifted off my shoulders and it feels good to breathe again. It’s good to know that I’m not alone in this and that there are other people that feel the way I feel and I can relate to what I’m feeling it doesn’t make me feel so alone. I almost forgot what it was like to feel normal and I’m glad I’m slowly getting back there now I don’t want to bring religion or anything into this but when I was younger I was kind of in a dark place with drugs and alcohol Before and after my dad passed and after he passed I found Jesus and accepted him as my Lord and Savior and things were good for a while. I did slowly stray away from God’s path and go back into drugs got back into alcohol and pretty much started living a life carefree. I’ve had panic attacks here and there when I was younger but nothing quite like whatever I’ve been experiencing the past couple months now with that being said I am now over two months sober and started feeling more anxious more than ever before in my life and it kind of makes me wanna go back to the bottle and to the drugs but I know that’s not what I want and who I want to be any more. From me praying more every day and talking to God and allowing him back into my life which is what I should’ve been doing LOL I feel more at peace with myself and more at peace with the fact that knowing that no matter what I’m going through he will be there now this is just what’s working for me as well as going to the doctor and have them run tests and letting me know that I’m completely fine and it’s just anxiety. So coming up here shortly I will be doing some counseling and stuff of that nature my doctor did ask me if I wanted to do counseling and medication but at this time I don’t want to be relying on medication to I guess get me through things anymore since I’ve used drugs and alcohol as a numbing agent for so long. I think therapy would be more helpful for me. So I believe that with the therapy and building my relationship back up with God that I will soon be back to not quite my old self but somebody better also anybody reading this I just want you to know that you’re not alone we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us and don’t ever be afraid to ask for help :) Thanks for reading