I was originally introduced to the idea of BPD a year ago, and I rejected it heavily. I thought when I maintained a stable relationship with my boyfriend, it went away. 

But my therapist has corrected me. She says I have BPD and it's my main issue. I feel like I have just been given a death sentence. I feel like I will never be able to function as a normal human being or have friends or have anything worth while in life. I feel crushed. I feel like all of my hard work has just been a waste. I can't breathe. I can't think without the crushing realization that I have no future left. I cannot even afford DBT and the word "mindfulness" triggers me because I consistently failed at it. There's no other treatment for it. All hope is lost...