We never agreed on this. The military has always been something he wanted to experience. I sparked multiple explosive fights over the years, but as I began realizing how selfish I was being, I had let go a bit. I’m still not okay with his decision, and I’m scared shitless. But still, I want him to regret nothing when he’s old.

A little background, we made 13 years in 2020, and finally tied the knot January of this year. He began being more and more proactive in his journey in joining the military, and now we’re just waiting on his ship date. 

For a while, I kept putting it in the back of my mind to cope and be able to function in my daily activities, but as the time gets closer, I feel a void in my chest. And my stomach drops at the thought of dropping him off when he needs to leave for basic.

I’m now entering into a depressive state of mind. A mild, but steadily growing depression. I feel it because I find it harder to wake up in the morning, fall asleep at night, do any school work, focus, and I’m always tired... this is how my body reacts to depression and anxiety.

I recently started seeing a new therapist, and she wants me to find friends and hobbies to occupy my time, but I really can’t function without my husband. My husband is my best friend. He’s pretty much my only friend. Other people exhaust me. As shitty as that sounds of me, it’s the whole truth. I really, really fucking can’t. It’s not even a choice at this point. I’m genuinely scared of what the state of my mental health is going to be like once he’s gone. We haven’t slept away from each other in almost 7 years.