I am no stranger to depression. My siblings and I have dealt with it for decades. So I am not exaggerating when I say that it seems like my boyfriend is suffering from the most extreme chronic depression I have ever seen. He has suffered from this for years now and it has been making life so miserable for him. I am scared because he appears to genuinely believe there is no hope and that he will never get better. The pain I see in his eyes is unbearable and nothing I do seems to make him feel better. He told me once that he doesn't feel suicidal but when I asked him to promise to call me if he ever felt suicidal he said that he wouldn't promise me that.

He already goes to a therapist weekly, though he believes therapy is hocus pocus and won't help him. He has been going weekly for over a year and says he feels very dejected because he thinks it hasn't helped him at all.

He is currently on medication and has been for a while. He's tried different meds before and he sees his psych regularly.

The crux is he either doesn't want to open up or he doesn't know how. Probably both. Whenever I try to get him to talk about his feelings he just gets quiet and cries or he finds some way to run away. He says he hates talking about his feelings because it makes him feel worse not better since "there's never any resolution or solution" to his pain so why rehash it? As I said he does not believe that talk therapy has any benefit. I'm glad he is going once a week but he is convinced that he gets nothing out of it. The only thing I can do to make him smile a little is distract him from his pain with things like tv and movies. He will barely let me touch him as being touched when he is feeling down bothers him. So I can't even hug him or hold him, at least not often. 

Today when I tried to get him to open up a little he broke down sobbing and said he's so angry and so depressed and he can't stop feeling this way and that he can't keep living like this. I can see in his eyes that he feels utterly hopeless. I am so scared. He hasn't outright expressed suicidal ideation but I am afraid he is thinking about it. He is in so much pain. More pain then I have ever seen a person bear. 

I know that part of his pain manifests itself as feeling inadequate in various ways. He absolutely hates it when I or someone else compliments him. He feels like a failure for totally irrational reasons. My reassuring that I care about him and will always be here for him doesn't seem to help ease his pain at all. Like he distantly appreciates it but it clearly doesnt make him feel better or more secure. He has wildly avoidant attachment style. He has told me that it is extremely difficult to be open and talk about his feelings and has never done it before meeting me. He also catastrophizes things. So if he feels bad and we talk about it a little he usually just ends up feeling much much worse and gets sucked into it deep pit of depression. So you avoid talking about his feelings at all costs. 

TLDR: I don't know how to help my boyfriend talk about his feelings. He both doesn't want to and doesn't know how. He has a deep aversion to that kind of introspection but his depression is eating him alive. The more I try to help by talking to him about his depression/feelings the more avoidant he becomes. He has been giving talk therapy of valiant effort for a long time but says it hasn't helped. He claims to have never experienced any amount of catharsis from talking about his feelings, only a deepening pain. 

I think therapy could help in tremendously, But I think he's blocked by his genuine belief that nothing can help him.