Something extremely strange has been happening for the past week which makes me feel like my sense of self and emotional being is reverting back to the same person I was 4 years ago.... my interests, my sense of self, my sense of identity, and my passions are again matching exactly those I had around 4 years ago at this time.  This past Sunday, I went back to the same city I was living in.. 4 years ago at this time, and visited the exact same place I used to go to everyday in the same area that I lived in, I even went to the same grocery store to shop for groceries (Even though I didnt need groceries, I was only in the city for a day trip, why the hell was I buying groceries?) and bought a new transit card at the service desk even though I didn't need one, (And was jubilant when the cashier still sold me a Youth/Concession card even Im almost going to 24 next month, hehe). I'm listening to "Perfect" by Ed Shereen on YouTube Music which I listened to everyday in my apartment back in the raining months of January and February 2018.... 4 Years ago. I want to take the ferry back to Vancouver mainland tommorow again and visit the same Korean Grocery Store I used to so I can buy the same ingredients and make all the Korean recipes that I started making at this time of the year 4 years ago. Is this some kind of Emotional/Dissociative Flashback to who I perceived myself to be four years ago? Is my "identity" being merged back to "Then", or am I having some kind of emotional amensia? I literally don't want things, or myself to change, I want to have myself, remain myself, and to rely on myself forever. I sometimes crave intimacy and yet I'm inherently terrified of companionships or relationships, this was tested last year when I had the chance to enter into a relationship with someone, but I bluntly pushed them away... almost as some kind of defense mechanism.

....it all make sense since the weather, and the town I live in now its just 3 hours away, both Western BC in Canada, and I feel like I can just forget the last 4 years has ever happened, and go back to living as the "same person" I was mentally and psychologically.. From 4 years ago..  aside from some actual, but maybe workable material, objective, and conventional differences.