Today was my birthday and I totally messed up. 

I had a major freak out on my friends and girlfriend for reasons I won’t discuss here, but I ended up relapsing into not only old self-destructive habits, but also into self-harming. It had been months since my last splitting episode and I was really starting to feel healthy; like I could actually manage my emotions. This has totally set me back and I feel deeply disappointed in myself for not stopping and thinking. I don’t know what to do with this feeling. I feel like I’ll never truly be “normal” and I’ll be stuck ruining my relationships forever.