 It was two times, but I didn't answer. Then an SMS saying that he still miss me. I couldn't have the courage to open it, and instinctively only excluded it from my notifications.

 Honestly, this is by far the thing that destroyed me the most in months since I isolated myself from the outside world. When my father started being respectable to me again out of pure pity, when my mother said that after all she still is preocupied with me, when I couldn't have the guts to say to my friends that I didn't had the force to see them again, these events didn't broke me that much, since I was already numb, devoid of any feelings. But reading clearly about how the man of my life, the purest and most gorgeous person in my whole world misses me, this destroyed me again, when I was kinda feeling good to take the control of my life from others to my own hands again.

 I feel such a failure to all people around me, but I kinda can live with it, since they have a good part in my mental state right now. But reading anything from him, the person that I promised to never leave alone, broke me beyond any extent. One day I shall return, so we will live away from any disruptive people. Until then, I shall remain like that: broken.