In the last four years, I left a toxic relationship and job. My current partner and I are very secure (no feelings of abandonment here). I’m great at my job, I’ve even started working out regularly and am just taking care of myself. My day-to-day anxiety has reduced. 

However, I can’t get out of the shame spiral. I’ve done some awful things and have been abusive, impulsive and impacted other people negatively. I lost a lot of friends. I know that there’s nothing I can do to change the past and the only real apology is my changed behavior. I think I’ve been doing a lot better, but then I’ll be up at night just ruminating on everything I’ve ever done badly and all the people that stopped being in my life. 

I’m wondering if other folks experience the shame spiral… and how do y’all cope?