I was diagnosed with BPD in 2013, before that a host of other diagnosis and what not. I've been married 11 years, 6 of those years my husband has worked nights. I am terribly lonely. I work a full time job and so does he, we never see each other. I have one friend but I won't call her unless I ask her if it's okay, she has a life outside of me and I just pester. I just want to have a normal friendship, one where I don't think they put up with me because they want to be nice. I honestly believe people don't like me and just tolerate me. I never had friends growing up, I wasn't allowed, they for good children and I was bad. I am so confused on how to do this alone anymore. I guess my breaking point tonight was eating dinner alone in a crowded restaurant. 