So I've heard sometimes the analogy that BPD people are like "a bottomless pit" of needs for affection, reassurance, love from their FP. That no amount is ever enough to quell the anxiety or fears of abandonment and for me it's a little different. My biggest trigger by far is expectations not being met. So my household including my partner (FP) have a pretty regular routine and if I'm expecting to spend time with him, or have sex, or getting to cuddle etc and that doesn't work out (even if it's for a valid reason) that's when the switch gets flipped and I have panic attacks, anger, major abandonment responses. For me the analogy I use is like a bathtub. Like, the water of affection, love and proximity is not constantly running down the drain (like the bottomless pit), when things go as I expect, I have a "plug" in the drain and the bathtub fills normally, but if things don't go as expected, or even when there is uncertainty about time together, the plug gets pulled out and THEN it is a bottomless pit, until the plug gets put back in through one on one time, sex or whatever. Can anyone else relate to this?