I think I need help, but don't know how. If that makes sense. Some back story about me is that I am 18 and graduated high-school and then  was going to college at the start of September. It was only for two days before I decided to drop. Originally I was going to switch to a different program but now I am unsure. The reason I dropped was because leading up to the start date and on the few days I attended, I noticed I was clenching my teeth, holding my breath and in order to have a good sleep I heavily relied on melatonin. On the second day I attended after school when I took out my dog I broke down crying alone in the back yard. Even now I have similar symptoms whenever i think about college/future. However, thats not why I dropped. Im bad at english classes. I've never been a good writer and have been made fun of by one of my friend for getting a lower mark or spelling things wrong (my friend has dyslexia so its not really fair for him). Anyways, I wanted an easy teacher so I could pass easily but unfortunately my options were limited. After switching the class 3 times I panicked and ultimately I decided to switch (to be fair I wasn't 100% in on the degree anyways). Since then I haven't decided and I just can't anymore and have basically stopped. 

At the same time, I have been dealing with injuries. Last year my knees were pretty bad (I used to be 130kg/300lbs in grade 11 so its not surprising) they got better after going to physiotherapy, but not 100%. But then my elbows (both more left than right) starting acting up and I've had a bad case of golfers elbows and its been 6+ months of trying to get them fixed. Im feeling hopeless. Also to bring it back I have lost a lot of weight over 50kg/120lbs. I went from 130kg/300lbs to 80kg/180lbs and then recently went back up to 95kg/210lbs. No surprise but I have some lose skin and just not the body I wanted. Im disgusted.

Sorry to dump this all here. I haven't told anyone. Most of my friends are busy/stopped talking to me. Im lonely. I read so much about what to do but I just can't. I tries getting a job but my elbows got in the way and I quit that too after only 2 days too. I just don't know what to do. I wanted to get it off my chest. I don't expect my problem to be solved here. I did want to hear what others thought. I keep having troubling thoughts. And I want everything to stop.whenever I thing of anything like getting a job I breath heavy, get an uneasy feeling. I don't know what to do.

By the way thanks for hearing me out it feels good to even just write this. Also sorry if my writing is off or just wrong im on phone and not that good at writing.

TL;DR: I think I have a problem. I dont know what to do. Just wanted to hear your thoughts.