Hello

I have been traveling through a world of anxiety lately and I think it’s really starting to affect my health. It’s problably best if I explain what has been going on.

My story: 
6 months ago I got a new job that I have trained/studied for at college (HVAC). I was excited to start up this new chapter of my life so I left my previous job (Walmart which was good to me) in order to pursue this career. 

The anxiety ramping didn’t start heavily at all till my 90 day probationary period was over and I was called into our offices for a review where I scored very poorly on several areas. Although this bugged me for about a week I persevered through that and redoubled my efforts to be an asset to the company. About two weeks later one of the techs who was supervising me started telling me that some people don’t belong in the HVAC field and it got me thinking if I have the skill to do this. Only that tech actually told me this, every other tech I’m assigned with on jobs either says nothing or gives me quick tips on how to improve.

This week was a major hit on my mental health as on two days specifically ( Tuesday and today) I was reprimanded by that same tech who said that some people should not be in HVAC. On Tuesday he said after my second time washing condenser coils that he was easy on me as he would have had several more done by time I got what I got done. I chalked this up to lack of experience at first but he then said that if I can’t clean coils faster than a specific member of the service team then I should go back to Walmart. 

Today’s mistake was my own fault which the tech I was with had me drive his own truck to the job site and I accidentally took a wrong route through a toll road which was a Nono for the company. I got messages from most of the higher ups including the owner of the company why I did this and I replied it was an accident and it wouldn’t happen again. Even though I was told not to worry too much about it from my supervisor it’s still weighing heavily on my head and it’s causing me to nearly burst into tears from my own mistake. 

This week I have been looking for some type of help/advise to help cope with this. I feel as if I can’t take people shit talking me or if I’m being harassed at work. To cap this off I will say that I was a lot happier when I worked at Walmart when things to me were a lot simpler, however I don’t want to let my lovely wife down ( even though she supports me no matter what) and potentially leave what could be a fantastic career opportunity.

This has been the hardest post for me to make so any help would be lovely. Thank you all for reading.