Okay so I (21, bpd 3 yr diagnosis) have always felt connection with 2ndary structural dissociation. The anp, the EPS . They don't feel like emotions they feel like states of myself.
Recently I've been having really intense dissociation to the point of feeling like I was looking through two sets of eyes and this night I thought I fell asleep from a stressful moment but when i jolted awake my partner (has did) proceeded to tell me I was not asleep, I had .. regressed? Become a younger memory of myself with a protective "teddy" ?.
I do not have the best memory but when I "woke up" I literally could not remember a ingle thing. Only maybe the slight memory of a feeling.
My partner having did, i know like what they go through and how they typically talk to their headmates. I don't talk to a younger me in my head, the only thing maybe is the "teddy" that was with me in this event. (I often feel the "teddy" hugging me even when I'm not 'littl' but mostly in that headspace)

This is a big ramble but uhhh 
Tldr, dissociation is going a lot more intense and I fell asleep whilst a version of myself spoke and there's a "teddy" that I either hallucinate or something and hugs me 
What should I do, look up???


Thanks, 🐺