I am 24 (f) and just this year started seeking help and working on myself mentally. I have always described myself as working in extremes - either doing amazing or everything is awful. My whole life I have been so scared of failing that I just never did anything, and it is still happening. For the past few months I've been doing okay, but out of nowhere something will hit me and I'll feel the need to cry for hours because everything is so frustrating. I'll get over it within a couple days, but it's happening again and I cannot for the life of me concentrate long enough to write my final essay. I guess I just need to vent.

I've been seeing a guy for about 2 years now - I will avoid gushing about him. Yesterday he said something about his friends and how successful they are because of the risks they took and I completely shutdown. I just felt like a loser. I'm not comparing myself to them, I just get crippled anytime I think about all the things I've wanted to do and never did because I think I'm not good enough, yet there are days where I am a total dreamer and feel like I can do anything. I spent all day anxious, self-loathing, and isolating myself just do I can finish this essay, but it has taken me almost 6 hours to get through a 40 minute lecture. I'm also worried this guy will just get tired of me because i'm a handful. I do try to talk through everything, but sometimes there is no point because I'm hard headed and overly sensitive. Big sigh. I don't even know...