My (24f) brother (23m) has borderline personality disorder. When he splits, he gets very violent, aggressive and verbally and physically abusive. He has been allowed to be relatively unchecked for a long time. My mom is African and comes from a sheltered community and she has a hard time wrapping her mind around everything that’s happening so she tries to approach with as much caution as possible, like he’s a sleeping bear. This hasn’t worked and he gets worse and worse by the day. We want to help him but we have two different plans:

1. My plan is to lay it all out and let him choose his fate. Either he takes medicine, goes to therapy and allows drug tests or he leaves.

2. My mom wants to slowly approach him and make suggestions only when he’s “calm” but he’s getting more and more erratic and less likely to have long periods of calm. Also she doesn’t want to kick him out. I don’t want him on the streets either but I also can not tolerate his aggression any more. Something has to give.

What do you think? Or is there a better way that we could help my brother?

Thank you in advance, I appreciate you reading this!