

I’m a woman in her early 20s. A couple years ago I became extremely obsessed (not primarily sexually though eventually it did become a romantic obsession) with a teacher of mine who was in his late 50s, married with children. He didn’t do anything to encourage me but he was really nice to me and we had things in common. I think he enjoyed my company too at least at first but obviously not as much as I did. I became totally obsessed, but knew it was immoral to do anything. I cried over him and dreamt of him and thought of him 90 percent of my waking hours. And long story short eventually became so obsessed that I would search the trash for things he’d thrown out. I  memorized his schedule and would try to bump into him. I misinterpreted some things and stupidly thought he felt the same about me. I looked everywhere for proof that he cared about me, even going through his papers in his office once. I looked at photos of his family and him every day. I tried to distance myself but even in another state after a year apart i thought of him every day. 

I am better now. I’ve tried therapy and it helped some but I still cry sometimes, like tonight. I still feel in love but I know it’s not real love because real love (though I’ve never experienced that). I’m just deeply embarrassed by the whole thing and I cringe when I remember how I’ve acted.