I'm 28, a college dropout, a virgin who's never had a girlfriend and I've been living with my parents since covid started. I missed out on everything good about being in your teens and 20s cuz I had a weird upbringing or just never fit in anywhere I went. Lately lack of friendship or affection has been making me feel so shit can barely really feel motivated toward anything else. I've had a lot of jobs it's just that none of them translate into solid employment ATM as my longest jobs were a couple year long stints in restaurants and of course to the school of hard knocks boomers that is laughable. My boss right now is one such boomer who I'm working for part time as a carpenter apprentice but I need another job to save and move out. The thing is the mindset that they try to push is so fucking depressing I have no idea how they do it. It's like live to work over work to live, it's like of the mind that I should be miserable every fucking second of my life because that means I'm being productive. That means cancelling out all the interpersonal experiences and shit I'd like to make up for because who the fuck has energy for that shit and socializing when you're fucking working 50 hours a week. What is this the fucking 1920s? 

I'm fucking tired of being stuck in life but at the same time I'm fucking sick of being told how I have to live my life. Cuz usually the people who are addicted to making money are usually addicted to spending it. I just want the fucking simple things in life and there was a time when I wanted to be a musician and I was in school for music business. But I dropped out before I could finish my bachelor's and now all those talents seem useless even though they are still what I like to do. 

I'm fucking tired of being told that I have to put what I really want on hold and that shit like getting laid doesn't matter when it clearly does and I was also bullied so fucking bad I got a lot of rage built up. I'm suppose to throw away the next 5 yrs of my life solely for my JOB and a job I don't give a fuck about at that? Is this the same thing as selling your soul? Dude in five yrs I won't fucking CARE. Fucking BULLSHIT!