So I have issues with intimacy (in all forms really, from crying at sex to having never told a family member I love them because I can't do it) and nobody seems to get why I'm so convinced (aware) it'll get in the way of having a relationship 

I just don't think I provide anything that would make someone want to commit to me as more than a friend when there's other people out there. Unless they think they can't get better.

My friend says I lack self love for thinking this but to me I'm just aware intimacy is what people want in a relationship and I can't handle intimacy. 

So I'm simply just aware there are better people to be in a relationship with, people that don't have unresolved issues And why put yourself in a situation where you have to deal with someone's issues like that when instead you can keep them at a distance and just be their friend?????? 

Like why would someone decide to be with me knowing I'll squirm if they try and initiate sex??? And then there's obviously the actual bpd symptoms that jump out randomly. 

Why would someone deal with that?????? Unless, like I said before, they think oh this is the best ill get ????