Hey... This is kind of a rant, I'm just lost. This night is the worst night of my life.

Tonight, I suddenly started feeling suicidal after months of not feeling suicidal at all. I had to tell my girlfriend because I was having a crisis and was hoping to get some support. I would have rather texted a crisis line, but none of them were open anymore. I didn't want to worry my partner, but I had no one else to tell. I kind of regret it, she got so worried and it seemed to ruin her night... :/ It almost felt like she just got frustrated and even defensive.

Anyway, it ended in her telling me that since I get over these kind of hard nights/days faster than she does (it usually takes her 2 days to get over something like this), I should maybe try to cheer her up during the following couple of days. I don't think it's fair, but I'm afraid to tell her this... I was having the hardest night of my life, I was thinking of killing myself, and now I should be okay by tomorrow and cheer *her* up? :/