(trigger warning: brief suicide mention at the end, plus lots of relationship talk)  

Here's to the ones who I've loved over the years.  
  
Here's to the ones who, for a time, made me feel like I was worthy of romantic love...only to bring that lie crashing down at the end.  
  
Here's to the ones who made me feel like a whole person because the previous one before them left.  
  
Here's to the ones who looked to me as a hero and made me feel like I really was one.  
  
Here's to the ones who promised me forever (and who I *believed*).  
  
Here's to the ones to whom I promised forever (and that's why I can't let you go...I promised you *forever* and that's not over yet).
  
Here's to the ones who I've hurt in my awkward attempts to show them love over the years.  
  
Here's to the ones who tried (and gods, you did try) but failed to catch me when I had my low periods.
  
Here's to the ones who have decided that they were too good for me, and I mean that both in the bitter fashion in which it can be perceived as well as sincerely.  
  
Here's to the ones that left because I was too unhealthy for you.  
  
Here's to the ones who still appear in my dreams, shaking me to my core when I awaken each morning.  
  
Here's to the ones whose absence makes me wish I was brave enough to plunge a knife into my chest to end the torment of having lost each one of you, except that the physical sensation of the pain would be too much to suffer through.
  
Gods, I miss you all.