I’m honestly sick of myself, i’ve been going through a lot recently and noticing more things about myself.
I feel like I talk like, and have the mannerisms of a child and i don’t know how to stop it. Even the selfies i take are ‘child-like’. 

I don’t have a particularly high voice, it’s more my speech patterns is that of a child, when i’m talking to other people i find it really embarrassing and it’s even in the way i move. Maybe a lot of it is my paranoia but i just turned 20 and it’s making me uncomfortable. 

I also realise how much i struggle connecting with other people. I just feel like a freak, like i’m completely mentally broken and dark ans can’t understand how anybody would want to be around me anyways and to be honest most people don’t. People don’t treat me with respect and i know it’s because of how i present myself, i get compliments so i know im somewhat attractive but I hate everything about myself and im quite literally a stranger to myself. I make MYSELF uncomfortable. 
Despite how I look and act and even talk my mind is so fucking dark and messed up and i feel like i’m matured more than i ever should at my age. I just hate everything about myself and want to be somebody else or just not exist.