About a month ago I overdosed on prozac in an attempt.to end my life. Since then, I've been trying really hard to cope with my BPD and bipolar and everything else fucked up in my head.

One of the requirements after being discharged was to see a therapist. I have had therapists before, but not in over a year as I didn't really care for my last one. At first I really liked my new therapist, as he was very understanding and non judgemental and used my correct pronouns...

I only saw him a few times, but it became very apparent over time that he had no true help to offer. All he did was reiterate what I had said without providoing any kind of advice, only reassurance. I have plenty of people I can vent to and essentially do exactly what he was doing.

What made me realize that I no longer wanted to see him was a particular session where he completely relied on me to bring up things to talk about. Maybe that's how it usually goes, but I had already covered all my trauma and had nothing left to really talk about. I just wanted more insight into what I'd already brought up.

So what he did was literally not say anything until I felt so uncomfortable and anxious that I felt like I needed to say something, even if it was irrelevant or not related to my mental health. For example, I talked about getting hurt at work despite not having any effect on me mentally just because the silence made me literally want to cry. I almost did at one point. 

My previous therapists have been not great in that they were very judgemental, and I felt I couldn't share the truth about my lifestyle with them. But at least they were able to teach me things and fill the entire session with productive things to do/say that were relevant to what I was experiencing at the time. 

I want to find a different therapist at the same place because this is a different center than I'd gone to before, and it's closer to where I live, but I'm so anxious that I'll see him and feel stupid for basically ghosting him. (I cancelled all my upcoming appointments without mentioning it to him). And I don't want to go to the place I used to becit's such an inconvience to get there. 

Idk what to do anymore.