first off im a freshman and a really socially conscious person and im having my birthday next month. i dont have plans on celebrating it (no big deal, i just dont) or i guess bc i dont want social interactions bc im shy af (tho i usually celebrate) esp w my mom. im just not close to her and all my relatives (also no big deal i just grew up shy) so i dont want all the stuff happening in my place as much as possible

thing is, we'll be having an academic break on that week so my friends were planning that we hang out and drink on their place, so i mentioned my birthday and said i dont plan on celebrating so im just gonna bring alcohol but now ofc they're convincing me to celebrate here in my place but im overthinking everything

bc its gonna be my first time seeing my new college friends and ive always been intimidated by them and my brain hasnt stop thinking what if i celebrate and it didnt turn out fun, or what if im awkward around them, what if they dont enjoy, every single detail im overanalyzing everything and idk how to stop and just chill my brain. now that they alr know my bday it would look kinda pathetic if i dont celebrate and instead hang out in their house right?

ive been aiming to step out of my comfort zone everytime and face it even tho im shy but idk really. feels like my head is gonna explode. its supposed to be just fine right bc its just a normal birthday but my brain lol i just cant stop.

really sorry for the messy paragraphs btw. what do u all think? any advice

&amp;#x200B;

edit: idk why i have times like this but there are also times where i don't think much like i'm just in a good mood? so i'm also thinking i would be just fine to celebrate if i'm tipsy bc the anxiety temporarily goes away 