F/21 Currently living in a crowded houses with my dad, uncle, adult brother, teenage sister, little brother, grandma, and grandpa. I know I need to move the hell out again but anxiety is my biggest set back. I’ve had many jobs but have never been able to hold one for longer than 4 months before my anxiety would become too overwhelming and I would find any reason to quit, being around other people scares the hell out of me and is more exhausting than the work itself. I would have panic attacks before work, multiple during work and after would I would relax until I would remind myself that I have to go interact with people all over again the next day, then my whole night would consist of worrying about that. I moved back in with my family last year in November due to other reasons and once the pandemic hit my grandparents didn’t want me working anymore so that was a temporary relief but now that it’s kind of the new normal they’re expecting me to get a job in these new two/three months and I want one too. I’m sick of sharing a room with my sister, just as I’m sure she’s sick of sharing a room with me. I’m tired of having no space for my belongings, waiting in line to use the bathroom that is shared between 6 of us and overall just being around my family. But every time I picture myself having a job again the feeling creeps up again. I could see myself becoming a babysitter since I’m good with children and want some of my own one day but I’ve had no luck finding a family nearby as I don’t drive, I bet you can guess why. My life feels like it will always be very limited and I will never enjoy it. Every single thing is controlled entirely by my anxiety. My dating life? Non existent. Friends? None. Driving? What if I hurt someone or someone hurts me. Work? Everything could go wrong. I don’t even listen to new music out of fear that I won’t like it. What am I even alive for.