Hi, 15yo (as of today) who has struggled with depression for four years. As a child, I used to have really bad angry issues, I don’t know why tbh. But then I forced myself after a while to just shove it down completely. And over the years I genuinely felt like I never felt angry and took pride in never feeling angry, and for that, I never let myself become angry at anything. 

But I think I’ve pushed it down so much that it’s returning and I’m just so, so, angry at everyone and everything of this world now. But whenever I do feel angry now, it always turns into tears. I’ve always been irritable at everything because of my depression but never angry at anything. 

But now I can tell it’s coming back. And i don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be angry. I always get a strong, irresistible urge to bite or punch to take out my anger, even as a kid. The urge wouldn’t be at anybody I don’t think, but I always took it out on myself and I still do. But I’m scared what if I do get violent one day? I don’t like violence at all or consider myself violent but what if one day I just... break. I’m so afraid of that. I’m such a shitty person I hate everything so much