My therapist isn’t fond of labels so I wasn’t aware I was being treated for BPD (I thought I had “weird depression”) until a psychiatrist mentioned it recently. So basically I am new to this community and I am learning all the terms.

The thing that’s really struck me is the whole Favourite Person thing, because holy shit I do that!! For years I’ve been feeling like I don’t have a best friend, there is just one person I will talk to 24/7 who changes every now and then. Like, when I have someone I like I’d ideally do everything with them and not have to hang out with different people. It just feels like they are safe and I can be myself and socialising with everyone else is an effort. When I am between FPs, I just hang out with my family. 

A lot of my FPs end up being overseas friends or even online friends, so it means in real life I’m kind of isolated. I have a lot of different IRL friends but because I withdraw so much I am not super close with anyone, and when we hang out I feel like I’m outside looking in. It makes me feel bad to hear about how they’ve all been hanging out with eachother and doing things but at the same time I don’t want to do those things with them. I just don’t want to be left out :/

Any advice on being more sociable IRL?