I'm undiagnosed so I don't know if I have BPD or something else, but I will say I've had consistent symptoms of it for over a decade now, which is why I'm posting here. If this isn't the right place, feel free to remove this post, mods!

I've been to see my GP tons of times throughout the years about my mental health issues, only to be sent to talking therapy repeatedly or turned away entirely because I "don't seem like there's anything wrong with" me (genuine quote from my GP :/ ). Usually I would be able to kind of cope with life in general and my relationships (friends and family included) would be the only things that were affected badly, but I'm at a point now where I can no longer cope with anything at all.

I've been in a constant downwards spiral for a while and my mental state is now so low that I'm completely unable to keep a job, am self harming, suicidal and dissociating daily, my sense of self has been completely shattered, I don't really recognise myself in the mirror anymore, and I've never been so lonely in my life because even around my family I feel like I'm just faking being human and I can't connect with them at all anymore.

I'm at a complete loss for what to do, I haven't even been given any help for my trauma due to my ex boyfriend (who was also my FP) sexually assaulting me, which I talked to my GP about over 5 months ago...I can't afford to go private at all and the NHS is evidently not going to do anything, is there anywhere else I can get help or is there anything I can do to make the NHS help me? I feel like I'm losing my mind :(