Or i could runaway to the woods and never come back. Im kinda a live free rather than die in chains kind of person, but at the same time i think I’ll lose my mind if im alone in the woods for too long, even though i really like nature. Im so done  If i keep all this crap in my head any longer Im gunna get fucking dementia. Its like i have been on a different plane of existence than everyone else. I need grounding. Even if that grounds me in a prison. Im a manipulative, narcissistic, pathological liar piece  of human garbage. I make myself seem like the victim when im in fact the asshole. Always. Im so done. All i want to do os take responsibly, even if it means i have nothing and no one for the rest of my life. When go out  i often forger to put on a mask because i care so little about death at this point. I guess that also means i dont care for anyone else very much at this point. Putting myself away is the most moral thing i can do. My parents, and therapists have been trying to help me with my “depression” for months. But its just guilt, and im guilty, and i deserve any punishment i get. My childhood was pretty fucked up, and i have brain damage from a soccer incident when i was 13, but its no excuse. When i did all the bad things I’ve done i felt horrible the entire time and knew it was wrong