i’m so scared and nervous right now. i can’t stop thinking about it. last night i told my FP they were my FP. i hadn’t had it planned to tell them, i didn’t want to, but for personal reasons and out of impulse i ended up telling them. i met my FP not long ago, and as much as i hate myself for it, i’m quite dependant on them, and they don’t know. i hate i have to be like this. i think i pushed them away from me, they backed off. as soon as i told them, they stopped talking to me. i’m so sorry. i shouldn’t have said anything but i did. 

we talk daily, but today i woke up and nothing. no textes, no nothing. it is almost night time now, where we both live. i know this is not the end of the world, and they probably and hopefully don’t hate me. but i pushed them off. i’m so mad at myself, i was supposed to be there for them and i just made things worse. i’m so scared i might have scared them, i’m so scared they might hate me now. i’m on the edge of ghosting them before they ghost me. i’m so sad and sorry, i can’t maintain relationships with people i care about, one way or another i end up messing up. i also kind of started to ghost my other friends because i’m splitting on them, so now i feel so alone and i seriously can’t deal with it. i’m so sorry i have to be like this.