I have a bad habit of letting my anxiety and mental illnesses get the best of me in relationships. I always rely on my SO to make me feel better on a daily basis, and it’s very exhausting for them. I can’t seem to get back into my real personality, where I’m fun and exciting and happy. I always am anxious, I always am emotional, I always am moody, and I just cannot seem to get this other part of me under control. It has ruined many relationships before, and I just can’t allow myself to let it happen again. I don’t want to have my partner just be the source of my empathy, I want my partner to be my partner. I don’t want to give them the silent treatment when they don’t hold my hand in the car. I don’t want to feel unable to tell them how I’m feeling at any given point. I don’t want to be held back by my fears and my insecurities. I want to be the best version of myself, who doesn’t get into fights with their partner, and who is only ever happy and fun to be around. 

I just want a healthy, happy, fulfilling relationship. Any advice or good words are greatly appreciated.