So I have a dog, he turned 1 year old in January,  I've had him since March of last year and ever since I got him my life has become steadily better. Buuut...my life has also become completely centered around him

Like...just the thought of him dying makes me cry. I am so paranoid about everything. I take him to the vet for every little thing, I buy him 80€ food, I buy him a 100€ bed and then another one because he destroyed the first one the second day he got it lmao. I buy him lotion for his paws, fish oil tablets, special expensive shampoo, coats for when it's cold, etc.

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that I somehow managed to make him the reason for my entire existence.

I go to work so I can afford nice things for him, I get up in the morning so I can take him on a nice walk and I go to the dog park and socialize with other dog owners so he can have friends, I drive around and visit new places so he also can see new places and doesn't have to walk the same route every day.

But what if he dies prematurely? Maybe of disease or in an accident? I would literally just kill myself. I know that's not a very healthy stance to take but I don't know what else to tell you guys. I would legit just kill myself because he is the only thing I care about in this world. I love my family, I love my mom and my brothers but I'm ashamed to say that I never thought "If my brother died I would kill myself." but I think "If my dog died I would kill myself." like every second day. What is even worse is that a while ago I had a thought of "What if there was a fire and I could only save my dog OR my brothers?" And yeah, you guessed it, I can't confidently say that I would NOT prioritize my dog over my own f'ing brothers. Like??? That makes me a horrible person I know but I just love my dog so much.

I was wondering if anyone has ever experienced something like this. If not, feel free to comment anyway, I know this is probably a very controversial thing to say so don't hold back lmao.