Work has been really stressful, only relief has been weekends, but even then I’ve been alone in my apartment, numbing with weed or alcohol, having breakdowns, an ex of mine has a new boyfriend, i also heavily struggle with a crush on my coworker (she has a boyfriend and a child, so I’d never try anything) been on 1st dates from apps that go no where, I was just in the kitchen drunk, took a kitchen knife and held it to my wrist for a while, seeing if I could do it, life is just so lonely and pointless