Basically the title. She tried to leave me before but I went berserk and would beg and beg until she gave in and stuck around a bit longer. But this time she left for good. Sent me an extremely long message basically saying how I'm the worst person she's ever met, how I'll be unloved forever, how she hopes I'll be miserable for the rest of my life, etc. the typical stuff. 

Before this would have destroyed me but for some reason this time I just found it all amusing. I don't know why a switch flipped in my brain but now looking back on it I see how she treated me badly too (not saying I didn't treat her badly. I did. She had every right to leave me but so did I) and I've never felt freer or better. A weight lifted off my shoulders is so cliche but it's exactly how it feels. Ever since she left me I've been being more social, taking  care of myself physically, engaging in activities I like. Just being happy. Basically the opposite of what she wanted.