I can't keep a job and it's ruining me. When I'm manic I apply to all these jobs, jobs I don't want and then when I'm depressed i stop going. I've had exactly 20 jobs in four years. I don't even know how I did that they just kept accumulating. Recently I've felt just.. empty? I don't even know if it's depression, maybe manic depression? I just do stuff no thought, I c*t myself and it did absolutely nothing for me, like im not even real but the blood reminds i am even if i dont feel it. it's like this weird itch I can't scratch where I feel just nothingness, this ache in my chest constantly. How do you keep a job like this? I need money and my parents are so mad I can't hold a job. I'm about to be 21.