Hey, Loves. 
I'm trying to relax and reflect a little bit tonight, trying to keep myself balanced. 

I'm feeling guilty about a habit of mine, though I've mostly broken it as well. 

Backstory is that I self harmed for years. From digging my nails into my skin when I was young, to full out doing harm (on and off, and in long periods) from the age of 12/13 until I was about 24. I did it often when I was younger, and slowly eased myself away from it. 
I've done a lot lf research in my years, though haven't opened up about it a lot, or have ever seen a counselor/therapist for anything (I want to, but feel scared/embarrassed/"Its fine, I did it on my own, but know I have underlying issues I don't know how to balance" as lame as that sounds.) 
But I feel so proud of where I've come from, and what I've overcome/worked through on my own, with the help of a very select few friends. 

Anyway, my issue now is that I still scratch at myself with things to feel pain. 
It stems from anxiety as well as liking/missing the pain and the act of self harming. 

I tore my side up pretty good last night by scratching/rubbing the tag of my shirt against my side. I've done this for years, it's really my only physical harm issue left from my past. 
It's more of a bad/tender brush burn, a good sized one, but I feel guilty. 
I haven't done it this badly in a long time, which is maybe why I'm focusing on it so much. 

My fiancee knows of my past and that I do this still, I asked him years ago to pause me if he see's me doing it because I never used to realize I was doing it. 
I catch and stop myself often now, almost everyday. 

What have you guys done to stop habits like that? 
I'm not sure what my question is, but just looking to see how others relate. 
I've been feeling pretty detached from everything lately.