I have an odd relationship with my best friend. We have been in constant contact for almost 4 years. We talk everyday. Well he told me that he loves me about 3 years ago, but I was with my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I have been dating almost 4 years. 

About 2 years ago I realize that I have feelings for my best friend as well as my boyfriend. 

I have an extreme fear of abandonment, I also am extremely attached to my best friend. So I had a full on breakdown when I heard that he’s finally getting a girlfriend last night. 

I’m so jealous and scared that he’s going to leave me alone. I’m also being super irrational and I keep having thoughts of leaving my boyfriend for him even though I know that won’t solve anything. 

My boyfriend asked me if he doesn’t make me happy enough and that’s why I have these feelings. 

I honestly don’t know? 

He’s also pushing me to start distancing myself but I can’t do that. Not talking to my best friend 12 hours causes me to break down. I know this is unhealthy, I don’t know how to fix it. 

I don’t know what to do about the situation. I don’t think I can stand waiting this out. 

TLDR: I have feelings for both my boyfriend and best friend. Best friend got a girlfriend and I lost my shit. I don’t know what to do. 