emotions kinda messy so imma keep it short. been really envious about this guy. he has his life together. he's always the best at everything. charming n popular everything. I wanna be like him but even if I put in effort I just can't see myself succeed like him. everytime I get an award or get praised for doing something remotely good he gets twice the amount I get. I'm still grateful but it feels like I'm literally getting stepped on. lots of pity from people around me. they're always doing it cuz they want to make me feel included but realistically they couldn't care less. can't really cry so I'm ranting.

I'm introverted and my personality sucks. losing friends hurt alot. I think I need a hug