I’ve had bpd for several years and my absolute worst fear is being abandoned or broken up with, I spiral into a terrible panic attack and freak out, I start thinking about how alone I’m going to be and how no one loves me it’s the absolute worst feeling ive ever known. 

Recently me and my boyfriend have been fighting a lot, basically everyday because of my bpd. He says a lot he wishes I was “ normal” and saying he can’t deal with me anymore. I’m getting extremely concerned we’re going to break up soon and I’m going to be alone again. 

He’s threatened me almost every fight, saying I’m psycho and my bpd behavior is ganna make him leave. Every time I freak out and cry and go into a state of absolute panic, I feel like I’m going to puke and nothing else matters In the moment except how I’m going to save my relationship. 

With it getting so consistent I’m just preparing for the day he gets sick of my shit and leaves I don’t know what I’m going to do. He keep saying he’s giving me “ one more chance “ to fix my behavior... I told him I have BPD I’m fucking trying but I know I’m going to fuck up and I keep fucking up. I don’t know what to do. Please help.