i’ve been in therapy for a few weeks and the more i talk the more i feel like everything is completely my fault. it’s my fault that i can’t be happy. it’s my fault that i have such a shitty personality. it’s my fault that i have no confidence. it’s my fault that i have anxiety. i know i’m the only one who can fix my problems but every time i think i’m getting somewhere i hit a wall again and i’m stuck feeling like a horrible, worthless person. 

i have no passions or dreams. i’m just doing things for the sake of doing them so that it looks like i actually plan on doing something with my life when i really just want to die. 

whenever i spend time with people it becomes more apparent how much of a shell i am of the person i used to be. i leave every social interaction feeling like i’m never enough and i’m scared that people don’t want to be around me anymore. i feel like they’re disappointed in me because i can’t be happy and fun so it makes me not want to go out again. i don’t know how much more of this i can take. i don’t see myself getting very far in life.