For the first time at last I finally got to speak to a consultant psychiatrist in the NHS. He’s a specialist in perinatal health as I had my son 6 months ago. I spoke to him about my symptoms and my history and he agreed that I have BPD stemming from complex trauma. He wasn’t at all judgemental, he commended me on how well I am coping generally considering. This is because I do a lot of self reflection and he’s hopeful that the DBT I am on will help me with my crisis episodes.

I came to realise that my symptoms and behaviour were like BPD years after they started in my late teens. I’m now 31 and since learning about BPD it’s really helped me to identify my problematic behaviour and in a way come to terms with how my emotional response is more exaggerated than that of most people. My advice to others with BPD is to self reflect a lot. Don’t be critical of yourself but be honest with yourself about your reactions and behaviour. Ask yourself why you behave in certain ways. Take a step back and ask yourself what it was that made you react in a certain way. In order to try and change certain behaviours or try to unlearn the more damaging parts, you have to understand why they happen. 

I’ve done a lot of reflective practice as a healthcare practitioner myself so I’ve used it in my personal life to. It helps… have a look at something like Gibbs reflective cycle as a starting point to understand how to reflect about a situation. 

You can get better. I was awful years ago. BPD can get better with age. Medication can help you to stabilise enough to take a step back and reflect. Be honest is seriously a big one for me. I had to understand that actually, I was the problem sometimes. It’s not an easy thing to admit but it’s important and something that people with BPD can struggle to accept. Reflect. It is a long journey but you can get stronger. I still have a way to go. Also there are professionals out there who are compassionate, it’s a combination of finding the right person and also being open and honest and open minded with them.