`wowie this is something i normally wouldnt do but oh well lets go`

i feel as if i'm a shell of my older self. Things that once made me happy have just become nothing to me and I feel as if I have never been happy before/am unable to be happy in the future. I started seeing a therapist and it hasn't been too long, but I can tell it could possibly help in the future. I just feel too far gone, too isolated from everyone. It is so exhausting spending every second of everyday critically thinking, analyzing every negative aspect of my life. Worrying about my relationship, praying that things wont end because he saved me from losing myself completely. I'm so drained, so tired mentally and physically. Nobody should feel like this. Especially when all I do everyday is lay in bed. Not only is that an issue, on top of it my family has completely fallen the fuck apart. My mom is a narcissist with severe panic disorder and she makes my life a hell and doesn't even notice. She rambles to me for HOURS about her issues, mentally or just in general. I am her literal therapist and its so hard when I can barely even handle my own emotions. She thinks everything is okay when quite honestly it has been the opposite. There are 6 in my house, so it's quite a noticeable part of my life. it kinda sucks :/