i have been diagnosed with bpd not too long ago. i'm 19 now and my boyfriend of 4 months now is 19 too. i catch myself love bombing him and i expect too much from him while knowing that he struggles with bipolar himself. we have a good chemistry and we get along so well. he was my first time and i feel like he's learning me how to love properly even though he has problems himself with his mental health and numbness of his emotions. i feel like i just love him so so much and i want us to never part. he makes me feel so safe and loved like nobody ever did before. i have a huge crush on him and can't keep my eyes off of him sometimes which i realize after the fact which makes me feel like i'm being creepy. i am way too sensitive and unpredictable with my behavior and reactions. i want to make him feel at peace and loved. i always feel like i never do enough or like i will never be able to give &amp; show him the love that he deserves and he deserves SO MUCH LOVE. i'm struggling with those weird extreme feelings, like longing to something that feels like a nostalgic future that may never happen or is far away (if that makes any sense at all) or being sad and melancholic about the concept of life in general, this sad &amp; happy feeling which makes me wanna cry. its uncomfortable because it makes me want to and feel like i should give everybody around me infinite love or something. i dont know what that is. music triggers it, different photograph's trigger it... sometimes also just scenery triggers it. a lot of the times i feel like i'm actually insane or crazy. 
this post is not about my relationship anymore because i got distracted. but i hope he will be my other half forever. and i genuinely want him happy and satisfied. whenever he feels bad/sad i start feeling the same way. i also just have those symptoms like the fear of abandonment, self sabotaging, being manipulative whilst not aware of it... there's so much wrong with me... i never want to be bad for him.. i just want to be his safe space. how can i make it all better and easier for both of us?...