And yet I love her way too fucking much to even try being angry at her. I fucked up a lot during the two years, but also got a lot better. I want her more than anything in my life and I'm so worried about her now. I wish she would just call me, I don't want to think all these things she said to me were lies. I am at a complete loss, but I don't want to give her the satisfaction of seeing me get worse. I will prove her wrong, I will prove to her that I will really get better and better. Fuck You, I love You too much. How can I deal with all this? How is a person supposed to deal with this much pain?