It’s Saturday night. I haven’t heard from him in two hours and last we talked he was getting in his car and heading out. I didn’t ask where since I was in a pretty good headspace at the time and trust him completely. 

Now, while I still really want to trust him, my stomach has been turning and I have no clue what he’s up to. I’ve resisted the urge to spam him but I will eventually just ask for an update on his night. 

This is still a new relationship and I’m trying to fight toxic behaviors as much as possible. So far I feel like I’ve done okay and he’s been open to discussing quite a few of my insecurities and battles with BPD. He really is a great guy and I don’t want to mess this up, but trusting people is so hard sometimes.