I’m so bad at self sabotaging, it’s crazy. Been dating an amazing wonderful woman for about a year and a half now. She’s intelligent, kind, an excellent communicator and a total babe. She’s had a history of dating shitty dudes, and making bad decision. A few weeks ago in a moment of her own anxiety she confessed she’s worried she’s overlooking something that’s “wrong” and that we’re going to move onto the next phase of our life and she’ll have made a huge mistake. We talked, I reassured her, life moved on. 

But then that voice in the back of my head latched onto it. And I started thinking about everything that’s wrong with me, and wondering when she’s going to notice I am a disaster and she could do better. And we got into this huge argument and now we’re “on a break” while I sort out myself. 

And I just don’t know how it got here. And I’m pretty sure she’s going to end up deciding she doesn’t want to be with me while I take this time getting my head on straight. I’m almost 30 now, it’s crazy that I can still get fucked up so easily.