*TW: sexual assault* A few days ago I was staying with my girlfriend and got pretty wasted at a pool party. She was acting really cold towards me at the party so I ended up hanging out with one of her good friends. After the party we went back to her place and she left me and him alone for several hours, during which he touched me inappropriately and sexually assaulted me with his fingers for several minutes while I was asleep on his lap. When I told her what happened the next morning, she drove off for several hours, and I later found out that she was hanging out with him. She immediately took his side and blamed me for being drunk and what I was wearing, and told people that because of my mental health issues, I had actually hallucinated the whole thing. Only after her best friend ended their friendship because she was victim blaming and I threatened to go to the police did he admit to it (they're in the military and would both lose their jobs if it came out that they had been giving my underage self alcohol). Up until now she's always been an amazing partner and I'm still in shock that she could be this heartless. She apologized, but I don't know how sincere she was. Also, I found out that she's been talking shit on me to her friends and that she apparently has a pattern of randomly deciding that she hates her girlfriends after a few months and then ghosting them. I love her more than anything, and my BPD has caused me to neglect all the other people in my life in favor of her, and I'm terrified of her leaving me and being completely alone. I told her I'd give her another chance, but I don't know if it's just my fear of abandonment. I don't know what to do and how to process the trauma from being sexually assaulted and being betrayed by my girlfriend in the same 24 hours.