I just want to be at peace so badly. Whether that peace comes in the form of death or existing in solitude I do not care.   I just want the feelings of dread and anxiety to stop. They are all I ever feel.

I can’t believe that only two years ago I was a 16 year old full of life and ambition to follow my career path. I knew what I wanted to do from such a young age and now all of that is gone. I have no material or worldly desires, I don’t care what happens to me.  All I wish for is peace and to escape this horrible mind of mine. I just want to be free. I feel like I am slowly losing my sanity. I broke out in manic laughter the other day randomly for no treason. I am not sure how much longer I can make it feeling like this. I don’t care if it sounds dramatic, this is what I experience on a daily basis, all day. I hide it from everyone and I never confide in anyone.