I just had a weird realization that seems obvious now, but I can't explain it eloquently so bear with me. If you know what I'm talking about and have a better way to describe it, please help! 

I didn't always know I split, but I did come to believe that the sudden intense negativity I felt about someone or something - that would always inevitably disappear - was probably extreme and unreasonable. When I realized splitting was the problem, it became much easier to notice and reflect on the sudden negativity.

But I never really thought that way about the positive feelings. I figured all those wonderful feelings about this PERFECT person or situation was the real version of me, the best part of me, the me that was so forgiving and positive and excited and passionate. But now I am realizing (after a breakup with someone who I'm pretty sure I am not compatible with, but post-breakup I am thinking is PERFECT for me??) that the positive feelings might be just as extreme and unrealistic.

This is kind of a real bummer. I guess this means not only do I need to reconsider the black, but I have to reconsider the white too. Which basically throws me into a complete unknown cloud of WHAT THE F AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL EVER?

Thanks for listening.