I don’t really know why I’m posting on here, whether it’s validation or a cry for help but reddit usually makes me feel a bit better when I vent on here so here I go. I don’t really know if any of this will make sense but here I go. I don’t feel like I’m capable of living in this world, I just feel like I’m too messed up, and there’s something really wrong up there, I’ve sought help and have been assessed before and the only diagnosis I’ve gotten were social anxiety and depression, however the older I get the more I just feel like I’m not capable living in this world, growing up I’ve always been outcasted and seen as the weird kid. I’ve been called the r slur multiple times, my grade prep teacher told my parents that I wasn’t normal, and I’ve been told by someone that they hope they find the cure for whatever disability I have. It’s not only these experiences, I feel it in myself, I feel like I’m not intelligent at all, I struggle to answer questions in depth sometimes, I struggle to hold conversations, I feel like I don’t speak the way I’m supposed to for my age and I struggle to verbally express myself. I’ve tried therapy and it turned out to be a disaster because I cannot verbalise how I’m feeling. I’ve spoken to family members about this, they think witchcraft was done on me and that’s why I’m the way I am. I feel so hopeless and I don’t want to be here anymore, I’m sorry if this didn’t make any sense.