My ex boyfriend was physically abusive. He body slammed me onto my tailbone and I had so much swelling in my tailbone it looked like I had almost no buttcrack for a week. I struggled to walk for awhile after but never went to the doctor. He would always injure me in such ways where he said "I only picked you up and you fell because you kept resisting yada yada!" and so on.
The night he finally got arrested he picked me up and dropped me onto my head. I woke up from unconsciousness confused and felt a strong tingling and numbing sensation throughout my entire body. I can best describe it as your leg falling asleep except it was my neck down. At that moment when I realized what occurred I frantically started moving my fingers and toes and the feeling came back. Anyways I ended up asking my neighbors for help and he was taken away.
Fast forward some time, I never went to the doctor for the many injuries I've endured during that period. My pain in my hips, feet and neck have gotten so bad that I can barely put weight on them. Towards the end of the day it gets pretty bad. This chronic pain feels like every task is impossible to conquer. The pain is so intense I can surprised I can even manage to get around. I don't have health insurance and honestly I'm very afraid to even go to the doctor. Part of it is due to the fact that I have very little motivation and hope that they can even do anything. Most of my experiences with doctors have been bad. I know I have some bone spurs that are continually growing. I can feel them. I feel very alone going through this and I feel like most people probably think I'm being over dramatic. Even my old employer at the time did not take me seriously. But to me the pain is very real and debilitating. I can't do the things I love. I want to have kids one day and I can't even last through the whole day without intense pain in my hips and other areas. Not only that I have some serious PTSD. I've experienced some very painful events from that period of my life. My self esteem is shot. I feel so alone through this. I wish I could go back in time and stop this from ruining my body and mental health. I never took myself seriously back then. I haven't addressed my injuries and it has transformed into something I can barely confront. I think I have just mentally seprated myself from the reality of my situation because it's so painful to mentally process. Even thinking about the future scares me. What if it can't be fixed? Im afraid of the answer. Because of all of this I know I've become severely depressed. It's making my current relationship strained. I feel so stuck, hopeless, alone and misunderstood. I don't even know where to start. Most people from the outside can't even see that I'm going through this. I try to appear okay but lately I can't even leave the house. I can't hold this up forever. 

Sorry to the grammer mistakes. I know they are in there I just don't want to re-read this a million times before I find them. I'm just writing this because I feel like I have no one else I can talk to about my situation. There is a lot more to this than what I can fit in one sitting. A lot of things I should have done but werent done because I did no know the rights I had at the time.