I myself don't mind it but it can really piss other people off including close friends. Can't even find a goddamn therapist although there's a chance I might get one shortly. In the meantime I'm stuck running my mouth when it's inappropriate, or posting nonsense on my instagram story. Pretty sure people only process 25% of what I say in a conversation since so much shit comes out of me that it's hard to keep track. I feel like I'm destined to end up alone. Streaming on twitch helps, at least I can entertain like 1-2 active chatters and they can leave whenever the fuck they want and I can run my mouth as long as I want. It helps tire me out so I can sleep without my thoughts racing, which happens at least every other night. These stupid meds barely do a thing either. God it's a double-edged sword I'm still learning how to handle, but I'd rather not have it (obviously). And by that I mean it helps me do things while I'm like this, but the lows are LOW. Like I typed this on my phone in less than 10 mins, I just had to get this off my chest to someone because I feel like anyone I talk to just thinks I'm high or drunk when I'm not. I was a weed addict in high school which definitely gave me problems like social paranoia. I've been sober since new years which has helped. I'm a lot happier and self-aware sober. It's how I noticed that I actually have bipolar and it wasn't a wrong diagnosis. Goddamn I need to shut the fuck up. This post is all over the place and that's pretty much how my mind is inside and it irritates people. But I'm sure you guys can understand, probably :).