I just finished an appointment with my therapist and it was really good in the sense of diving deeper into things and touching more on my traumas and how they affect me today. 

SO the one of the main reasons I started therapy was to be a better partner. I have a hard time expressing myself and being vulnerable in relationships and friendships for various reasons. 

My therapist knows this and we’ve been actively working on being a better partner because I love my partner and fear he will leave for my inability to be affectionate and vulnerable physically and mentally.

My therapist wants me to practice initiating saying “I love you” to my boyfriend and do it at least three times a week and YALL I’M SWEATIN uggggghhhhhh I literally cringed when she asked me if I ever say I love you to him first because it just makes me so uncomfortable to be that vulnerable. 

I know it’s negatively affecting our relationship and he deserves the best of me so I’m going to try really hard but man, it’s going to be roughhhhh lmao