Well, as yall might know I kinda have anxiety that prevents me from doing or saying anything at all. My best friend also has anxiety, they've been going through an especially rough time recently. So I tried to lighten the mood by joking about stealing their Redstone, so I went over to their Minecraft house and looked in all their chests and jumped around. They then were like no you cant steal my redstone so I just kinda was like lol and kept jumping around. They covered their chests and we tried to kill eachother without breaking the laws in our server. Didn't realize I was kinda a trash friend who didn't pay attention to other people till they just kinda said "whatever, im so done" like they were kinda crying. I feel really bad, then another friend joins server, she's like hi, how are you and im just like yeah im fine. I'm not fine, I'm all tensed up and everything and just want someone I can talk to because I can't talk to the other friend without her thinking that they're to blame for them not understanding i was just trying to joke and didnt realize or whatever. Other kid comes on the server, I go hi, how are you and he says fine. I ask 'fine' or fine and he says yes. I clarify what 'fine' is (yall probably know, fine but not fine and i dont want to talk about it kind of fine) and he says yes, I'm 'fine'. I really want to talk to other friend (not the guy, not the original friend I talked about) about anxiety, she said she at one point had anxiety that was so bad she would faint but I just cant bring myself to tell her. Doesn't help I'm starting to go through puberty and I won't let myself talk about anything at all to anyone at all, I'm always worrying, tensed up and moody. I generally have been trying to not be moody, and go back to 'myself' which is just the facade I put up that consists of "I'm fine" and being overall a nice helpful person who is just the person people want me and expect me to be except just dont share much of my thoughts about mental health and stuff to prevent myself from getting carried away and sharing too much. aaaaaaaaaah I want to talk to someone at all, one of my friends came with me to see the school counselor the other day, and as my habit goes, I for the most part told him what he expected/wanted to hear such as I don't care about some random person in the middle of nowhere's opinion, etc. i just cant do this im trying to keep up with myself and other people and school and everything and dont have anyone to talk to anymore im always so tense and worked up....