I know having bpd isn't his fault, I know what happened to him and how his experiences created this problem, he had it really bad for years but he won't see his bpd as the culprit causing us stress in our relationship.


My boyfriend under pressure becomes a completely different person and he really hurts me. He's normally an incredibly nice guy but when he's stressed over something or in a mood, he gets angry with me no matter what I do. He's told me talking on the phone is a lot of effort for him because of his depression so I haven't talked to him for about a month over the phone and a few weeks ago I asked if he could talk more and he got beyond annoyed with me. He makes me feel like I'm asking for too much when all I want is to talk a little more. He's the best boyfriend I could ever ask for but when I never know how he's going to react 


He used to self harm to punish himself whenever he hurt me which was so sad but now when he upsets me he doesn't even care or apologize and waits until I apologize for being upset after he upsets me. Then yesterday I ended up apologizing for calling him. I called him because I was having a bad day and I've never done that. When he answered he got really annoyed with me and said "I'm not on call for you to talk to me whenever you please."  It really hurt me when he was being rude to me and said I was too demanding. Before yesterday's phone call we hadn't talked in a month and we only send some texts during the day never a lot. He said he can't be there for me because it's too much work and implied I was the problem. So I think he broke up with me, he won't respond to texts today at all and I'm feeling so alone and suicidal wondering where the man I love went


When we're together in person everything was great, he'd tell me he's so lucky to have me and I'd say the same, we'd laugh and enjoy just sitting together. He'd even say sitting is my favorite thing to do when I'm with you. We would kiss and hold hands all the time..so where is my boyfriend..I'm left feeling so alone. I know this is lengthy but I guess I didn't know where to go and needed to let it all out somewhere.