So a bit of a long post….

I’ve always wanted to pursue music as a career. It’s always been my passion and my biggest dream. However, I come from a very conservative family, and my parents have always been unsupportive of my ‘unconventional’ dream.

So I grew up in a very abusive household, my dad would physically abuse me and my younger brother literally everyday, like everything we did would trigger him. His side of the family were very abusive, though not physically, but mentally and emotionally. 

My dad was strictly against anything he would consider to be ‘unconventional’.

Music for me, was kinda like a way to escape all the abuse I went through as a child, I loved to dance and sing, and I knew that is what I wanted to do in life. But my dad was really against it, especially because I’m a girl. My dad always used to associate dancing with stripping, and he would always say that it’s a disgraceful thing. Even as a child as young as 8 years old, I wasn’t allowed to dance in front of any male member of the family, because my dad felt that was a shameless thing for a young girl.

I was so scared of him so I didn’t dare convince him to let me follow my dream. Well I actually did try once and he flipped out. And that was enough for me to never try again.

I’ve been so miserable working jobs I have no interest in, but that fear is still there. I have severe social anxiety and I suffer from panic attacks. The thought of never giving my dream a go sometimes trigger the attacks.

Now I’m in my mid 20s and I still want to pursue music. But I feel very inferior especially when I think about artists who have way more experience and who have  basically been associated with music their whole lives. I have no experience at all. Most people start as young as 5/6 years old. But I haven’t even started yet. And that’s what makes me think that is it too late now? Is it even worth giving it a go now?