I use to think I got depressive episodes, but this feels different.


Three weeks ago I had a pretty bad depressive episode. I think. I just wanna say that I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression at 11, I’m turning 16 in June. 

Lately my depression has been really bad because of school. At first it hit me usually around night time and didn’t go away until I went to sleep. afterwards it turned into it lasting the entire day. Then it turned into 3 days ago. And recently I had mine last an entire week.

I met someone on the very last day of it and fell for them, but they recently cut me off yesterday and now it’s today, and I feel different.

I woke up feeling like shit and through out the day I had the urge to relapse (sh). But now, I feel good? But not a normal good. 

I feel a little floaty. If I focus on anything for more than 20 seconds It feels as though all of my energy has rushed through out of my body and it’s slamming itself in. I kinda feel like I’m in a different dimension, but only that something is slightly different. Like maybe in my normal one my mom is wearing gray socks, but in this one she’s wearing black.  It feels as though everything outside my room floats around in time. 

I’ve recently lost my appetite which is very odd because A) I have BED and B) I’m a transgender boy on Testosterone, which doubles my appetite. 

I don’t really know what’s ‘wrong’ with me. I do have symptoms of OCD and I believe I’m the autism spectrum but I cannot afford a test.

Does anyone else experience this? What even is it?