I hate insects, have done for most of my life. Last few years I’ve really worked on getting over it, and I’ve got a lot better with ones I was genuinely most scared of. Recently in my house I’ve found signs of carpet beetles and I am doing everything I can to stop the infestation. In the process I’ve also found some silverfish (ew). Not a big deal, I know, but the problem is the anxiety it gives me. It makes me incredibly paranoid, checking every crevice and crack, stopping to inspect every small mark, always having the thought in the back of my head that they’re all crawling about in my house, multiplying and eating away, and I don’t even know where they are. Then there’s the fact I actually have to touch things they might be in, or that they’ll just keep coming back in an endless cycle of cleaning and checking that I won’t be able to keep on top of so then I’ll get a bad infestation, or I won’t be able to do anything else because I‘ll be forever dealing with them. Then I start thinking how I will never be able to live in a house without this happening so why at all etc etc. 

Catastrophising and obsessively checking reinforces the anxiety but it’s also the logical and rational response to this kind of problem, so I’m kind of stuck in this endless cycle of worrying, checking, cleaning where the only solution to me is to start storing all my belongings in airtight plastic boxes taped shut, and hell maybe even sleep in one too. Makes me feel like I’ve lost most the progress I’ve made with my fear of insects and my anxiety in general. I’ve had some passing cleaning compulsions in the past so I’m also worried this could escalate into something worse. I’m already pretty exhausted and it’s only been a few days and I’ve spent so much money and time on it already (so it’s triggering my financial anxiety too).

Sorry for the long post just a vent (but advice isn’t unwelcome) cus I feel ridiculous being this tense over what’s basically nothing