why did i have to become traumatized in the place i always felt safe , and not have anyone hurt me again everything becomes a nightmare because i panicked , the attack was so traumatic because i broke lockdown rules i was alone and had to self isolate . I did call paramedics but was too scared to go to the hospital because i am high risk for covid ( in the end i was “ okay “ but it was an allergic reaction that needed steriod cream for it to go away ) but i thought it was something much worse that would kill me in my sleep .  eventually the anxiety got so bad my parents risked their health and let me go to their house and let me finish my isolation for the next 8 days . the day after i got home i panicked again and the whole day my mom needed to stay with me because i kept begging to go to the hospital because i thought i was dying . eventually i got a hold of my doctor got the allergic reaction fixed and i was okay . till this day im scared ill get it again , i dont know what caused it . I would randomly get flash backs of how scared i was . now everything that felt safe to me isnt safe anymore . all i keep thinking about is if im there ill die or something tragic will happen . recently i been begging my parents for a luxury condo cause if im surrounded by warm luxury things i wont die , my aunt has a mansion , while i was there i had this crazy asthma episode , i wasnt even scared . so now i think if im surrounded by luxury ill be okay