I feel like I’ve grown to avoid social situations more and more since I can often only recognize that I’m acting crazy in retrospect. It’s caused me to repeatedly end up cringing in pain at my behavior the days to weeks after a social event as I remember how I overshare and crass I might’ve acted. It’s the part of my BPD that scares me the most because it leaves me feeling that I can never be at ease or trust myself in a social situation. So naturally I start avoiding social situations altogether I stead of risk embarrassing myself which leads me to become more depressed.