So I am 20 and I feel like I've made it to the best, most organized part of my life so far, I do feel like I am the best version of me rn... However, it doesn't feel like anything. Over the past year, I've learned to cook my own food, started taking daily morning walks, yoga,getting 7-8 hours of sleep a day, started eating a very healthy and balanced diet, exercising 3 days a week, meeting with friends occasionally, working 2-3 days a week at a cafe, moderate my spending, knocking my screen/social media time to just under 5 hours a day, started being more useful around the house (laundry, vaccuming, dishes, etc). Learning new things, and what not. Ive done all of these things, and have gotten better at them throughout the last year, but I personally don't feel like it has made me better at all, from a mental standpoint. It's as if I haven't made any of the achievements above^ at all.

The thing is... I always wake up so tired, coffee doesn't do anything for me, I always have bags under my eyes (I think I've had bags under my eyes everyday for the past 7 months, that's no exaggeration). And I always feel unsatisfied/unfulfilled with everything I have and do. But I have absolutely no reason why.

I honestly do not know if this is some form of depression, I personally never thought that I would ever be depressed, but I'm not ruling out that what I feel right now... Might honestly be depression.

I've felt like this for around 12 months now, despite me improving my life, I always feel mentally and somewhat physically tired. When it comes to spending my money, I only buy what I need, and I don't even feel like buying anything else, I know that's supposed to be good because I'm not spending wastefully, I guess. But I'm not even spending at all on anything fun and it feels like super-minimalism and it is VERY boring, honestly.

I know for a fact that I am doing much better in life than what my head is telling me right now, but I do not know why I feel this way. Maybe it's because I feel like I'm living the same day everyday, nothing is changing, etc. Not sure. But I would love to know if someone else is experiencing or has experienced this, and what you guys have done to stop feeling this way, if possible. Thank you so much.


TLDR: I can't make a TLDR for something like this lol