its been so hard to enjoy anything lately, even my favorite hobbies. So, i started trying to push myself to go see friends and do things. 

But i have had this feeling occur everytime i push myself. when i go out and have a good time, a couple hours later i find myself laying in bed with a giant knot in my chest. It feels like guilt or anxiety or both. I was having a genuine good time, real laughter, real fun, good connections and then i just feel worse than i did before i forced myself to do something. 

Anyone else feel this way, its hard to describe...coping ideas?