For my Senior year of high school, I was living on my own. I struggled a lot, but remained hopeful because of college. I got scholarships, grants, the whole shebang. I've been poor for about 85% of my life, so I knew I'd have to rely on them to pay the remainder. 

After all the work, all the time spent, I was denied my loans. In a week's time, I went from going to college, denied loans, freaking out over how to pay, to withdrawaling. I'm still on my own, with no money, no job, and no future. My dreams I've had since I was a kid are ruined because of money. The simplest thing in the world, and I'm stuck. 

I feel like garbage. I walk around my apartment for no reason, just walking to a different room to keep busy. Eating food and watching YouTube/playing video games are my only activities at this point. My brain literally feels like mush, and I'm worried my cognitive function will forever be lessened by this garbage. My eyes are so exhausted and half the time I can barely focus on objects. I feel like a walking corpse, two seconds away from collapsing and never waking up. 

I have no one. I've always lived a second life, never telling anyone about my situation. So now, when I need it most, I'm left with no help. My friends still think I'm going to college, and I don't have the courage or energy to tell them the truth. Everyone is ready to pack up and move on, but I have nowhere to move to. I'm crushed, and I just want to rest.