Oh is has been bad for the last or so days and i was so good at sticking to my prescription. And that’s before lat night.
I even had hold my ground during the worst of the rush of anxiety attack in the middl of a crowed subway cars as if i am all kinds of normal.

I am well aware of me now not making any sense let alone giving you a reason care about me because why would you, why would anyone. So i keep this to myself.

O have been one month sober, i think. My doc prescribed that i could take up to 5 tabs of 0.25mg Xanax as needed throughout the day. But some days that doesn’t cut it..

So like 2 hours ago, i took 1mg, felt nothing and still pacing, so i took another 1mg, and it’s been almost an hours. But I don’t feel much.. I’m slightly sleepy? Not much else..

I want to black out. Preferably not at all come to consciences for nine million years into the furthest… is it going to be like sleeping? I want that.

There’s no one would check up on my, no one to call, no one to regognize whatever i am going through and planning to go though. So please no bullshit that people loves you bullshit, its heartwarming but not prectical..

I read somewhere that its possible to overdose and die from Xanax od.. i have like  0.25mg tabs x 30 pills a bottle *  14 bottles..can i down all of these then I can slip into an overlivion without fail? Bear in mine there’s no one can stip me, can I dependent on this method? Please talk to me..