I've recently realized my cyclothymia plus my identity dysregulation means I'm very likely BPD. I can't afford to see my psych right now to confirm it, but I'm not here asking for a diagnosis. I'm just gonna operate as though that is the case, and see if that helps me deal with my stuff any better. I hope I'm still welcome here. 

My birthday just came and went without a ton of excitement. The closest people in my life all remembered and celebrated with me, and a handful of more distant relatives too, which was nice. I took it off of my social media because I don't like it when distant fb friends feel obligated to wish me well, so I understand why some of my acquaintances wouldn't have any idea. 

But two particular close friends of mine didn't say a word, even though one of them reminded me of the others' birthday a few months ago, so I know they keep track of that stuff for each other. I know it's not that big of a deal. Remembering one date doesn't define their friendship with me. But it still feels like a betrayal.