My anxiety has been taking over my life recently and I am having trouble controlling it. It seems like I am always assuming the worst possible outcome for everything. I somehow convince myself that the the worst will happen and that I need to prepare for it. I am not sure where this way of thinking came about as my parents and my brother are super laid back and relaxed. 

Even during my college years I would panic about exams. I would study all weekend, skip going out, worry constantly for tests. I would run through scenarios in my head about failing, not getting employed, dropping out, etc. I would calculate the minimum grade needed to pass the course and convince myself that even though I studied 80+ hours getting a 15% is still likely and possible. 

If my brother does not pickup the phone late at night i worry that he crashed somewhere/is not safe. Every night before bed I have to check my car app to make sure its locked even though I know I locked it and if i dont check I assume it is unlocked and will be stolen. I worry about my health even though I am healthy. It’s getting to a place now where when someone tells me something that goes against my worry(random example you do not have a cavity), I assume that he probably missed it and that I do have one. Its like I always have a sense of fear for everything. 

Now I am working full time. Its effecting me with my work life even worse. To make things short I sell capital equipment. Because of the supply chain issues many of current orders have been delayed. I run through every scenario possible that my customers will sue me for loss of profit and not delivering on time even though it is out of my control. I worry that I will fulfill the order late and my customers will not pay me(net30 are the normal terms in my industry) i worry that my equipment will not work properly. I worry that i am doing something wrong with running my business. I also randomly started worrying about my equipment hurting someone and being sued for it and liable for everything. It seems like I always have something to worry about. When the stress from one thing passes, something else comes up and it constantly cycles. These are just some examples. I seem to always go to the extreme with everything. Even though no issues have come from everything mentioned above I still worry about. I have absolutely no idea how to control it. I get random thoughts before bed while I am half asleep about something and it immediately wakes me up and I start to panic. I get super irritable when I am in an anxious state and my parents think I am just being dramatic and tell me to “settle down” when I can’t. I feel helpless. It almost feels like the littlest things can absolutely destroy my mood. I have no energy to workout, constantly tired, no motivation to eat until super late at night. I cant meditate and shut off my brain. It’s impossible. 

Does anyone have any insight on how I can improve myself? I am struggling finding anyone in my life that can support me. I never really assumed I had any sort of GAD until this past year when I started doing more research around the topic. I assumed everything that I was experiencing was just a normal part of life until it became too much to the point where its controlling my day to day life.