And it wasn't a monster chasing me or anything like that. It was actually really straightforward: It was my dad sitting in our living room with the most sorrowful, sad expression on his face I've rarely ever seen. Then I found myself trying to get his attention. Calling his name at first, but he didn't acknowledge me. I tried yelling, then fully screaming. But still he didn't move and just kept staring like he was on the verge of crying. And then I woke up, calling his name. I cried my eyes out.

Being away from him and at college has been one of the hardest things I've done. Even more so than quitting smoking and trying to gain weight recovering from anorexia. To say we're close is an understatement. He's my everything, makes me feel safe and secure 24/7, and is one of few people in this world who truly understands me completely. I see him as often as I can. 

But just the thought of him all by himself in that empty house, having to walk past my bedroom every day...I can't take it. He says he's fine and has plenty of hobbies outside of work he takes part in. But some part of me isn't buying it. Even though going to college and becoming a teacher is something I've dreamt of since I was little, it's hard being away from him for so long.