I dunno if I just got dumped or not, because there've been so many on again off again starts and stops and then he was having trust issues and I wasn't with anyone else and now I can't tell what happened but I'm blocked now so I guess it's over. 

Fucking sucks. 

Do you ever feel like you never want to be with another person ever again? Watching High Fidelity and trying to make sense of what the hell happened or what I didn't do well enough, or maybe it's not even my fault. 

Maybe it has nothing to do with me whatsoever and I should stop writing about myself or something. 

I wish people were consistent and knew what they needed and believed me when I'm telling the truth. I just got comfortable being alone when I stumbled on somebody who I wanted to be with but I felt like I wasn't ready yet, not good enough for what they needed. No matter how hard I tried to be perfect, it wasn't enough. 

I just want to cry for a week straight and not have anyone bother me about "getting over it" until I'm damn ready cause this really meant a lot and I thought I was finally healed enough to be able to share myself with someone and have something to offer rather than just drain people or be inconsistent. 

Bleh. Fuck this is long.