I have big issue , soon im gonna get diagnosed woth BPD ,currently I am in waiting list for Dialectical behavioural therapy and emotion regulation course. My mental health cause me so much problems .. I keep splitting up with my bf every week and then coming back together because of my unability to regulate emotions. My family thinks that I am just a joke , because I said to them that I am suicidal. At the moment I take Prozac because without them I allways try to hurt myself , or kill myself. Once almost bought lethal injection ,I had three more plans how to kill myself. Cannot work anymore , was studying in university had to apply for intercallation as I am not able to sleep and concentrate . My whole life I was dreaming to study in uni and have such a good job . Now I dont even feel that I want to study or work . i dont feel like anymore wasting myself for someone to make money . I feel like I would l rather die than go with Society made rules . For me money doesnt have value ,as it was made just to gain control of people . I am very kind person ,but after this realisation I dont even want to have kids anymore because I dont want my kids to go trough this world nonsense and materialism , and thats what makes me angry. I am thinking to live on benefits as I keep getting flashbacks and I am dissociated as well. My personality changes several times a day. As a complete different person with different values and different attitude but still me... Sometimes I feel I am getting crazy as I am waiting for the help for so long .. 