just coming out of my first manic episode, lasted about 4-5 days, experiencing delusions, super active and energetic. im' in college and was attending classes so everything was very public. I was lecturing my class about my "revelations" etc, and thinking my friends wanted to take me down because they were jealous of my "electricity." anyway my therapist sent me to my psychiatrist who told me to take klonopin or else things could worsen and I'd be sent to hospital. after giving myself one more day, i eventually took the klonopin, and slept for 20 hours (just woke up). 

I'm feeling a lot of things right now and don't know how to cope. mostly just that it feels so cruel that the one time I'm able to be happy, I wasn't allowed to feel this way. I've been depressed for so long that it really feels cruel for that to be snatched away. and also for my revelations and electricity and everything to be "fake" and just because of bipolar chemicals in my brain. I feel like everyone sees my real manic feelings as a quirky joke. I'm embarrassed and unsure how to move on

any help would be appreciated. just trying to connect with people who have bipolar as I adjust to the idea of having the disorder myself