so before i say this: i rarely am ever attracted to men, i know that i want a relationship with a woman right now but all i do is attract men.
i’ll receive one message saying i’m pretty or something and then cling onto them for as long as i possibly can. when they don’t respond i get overwhelmingly sad, almost suicidal. i daydream constantly about us going on dates, even if i don’t know this person at all or if we’re compatible. i even lash out without realizing it. like a lot. i split constantly but only when a man is involved. it also doesn’t help that i attract men that remind me of my father. i’m constantly recreating traumatic situations to try to do it the “right way” and make peace but it only causes more problems. i guess my question is, how do i stop living in this fantasy of a man making me whole? i’m crying typing this right now because i just want to be happy with myself and i feel like if i were to talk to anyone of my friends they wouldn’t have any good advice bc they all have bpd but are very unaware or willing to change.