
RANTING/ADVICE HELP!
So not by my choice my husband and his dad wanted to buy this place together for us all to live (5 acres). The house has a master bedroom upstairs and small office (which we’re using for two of our girls currently and our son is sleeping in a crib on our room). There is two bedrooms downstairs that they get and is “theirs” (his sister is living in one room (the bigger room) who is “suppose” to move to Utah in 1-2 years so I was told…one of the conditions of okaying me to live here is knowing she will be out). the other room was the parents until they renovated the whole garage which now is done and has a master bedroom, a bedroom for the younger brother, and a loft. Now it’s for us to “borrow” for our girls to use but any guests that ever stay will stay in that room and the kids all back upstairs during that time. Even to borrow, their other son is living in the rv on the property (not a part of the initial deal he’s a druggy and got kicked out of everywhere with no place to go….there is a space behind the small bedroom downstairs that he has inhabited for gaming and doing weed (one of the initial agreements was he can’t smoke weed at all here otherwise he can’t stay. The parents agreed and they already fell through with no backbone). There is a door to the stairs separating the up and down but we can hear everything and they can hear us (no privacy). The dad also took in two cats without asking us to be outdoor to kill the mice on the property (which they don’t) and because I was raised with animals they put on me to take care and feed them without asking because they had no idea what they were doing. 

The conditions I had for living here that I discussed with hubby:
-I get the whole garage to turn into a photography studio for business (they still have their things in it)
-The sister was suppose to move to Utah in a year or two so she wouldn’t be “forever” (now she sounds like she’s changing her tune and never wants to move, get married, or have kids) she is also living here rent free even though she works
-the youngest brother in high school will go on a mission in 4 years and then will be out 
-we would “eventually” get the whole house and the parents would have the renovated garage
***note the druggy brother was never a part of the picture…also living rent free

Here’s why venting:
We just discovered we’re pregnant again that would make us 2 adults plus 4 children under the age of 5 and a dog all upstairs with the one bedroom and one office space (and “maybe” one room downstairs) they heard something that “spooked them” and now the sister is trying to get the druggy brother to stay in the room downstairs just so we can’t (both the two living rent free) nobody knows we are pregnant yet. With this change I think we should get the whole house now. The druggy brother stays in the rv (still rent free and doing his weed which again frustrating the parents didn’t stick to the rules)…he makes our whole house smell like weed which is nauseating being pregnant. The sister can live in the loft upstairs in the garage I’ve seen there is tons of space (the only thing is they have a “storage unit” of stuff still…which the mom is kinda of a hoarder…but again with their space is they have 4 greenhouses too that are empty for storage. We have only hand a room by the heater downstairs same place the druggy brother hangs out.) 

All I want is privacy to let my kids cry it out. My son wakes up every other hour at night because we share a room and senses me so I have to feed him every time and I get high anxiety trying not to wake them downstairs. The two girls sharing that office keep each other awake playing until midnight at least (we put them down 8-9pm) so get cranky during the day from crappy sleep. 

The other factor is hubby’s dad does not take care of himself and has diabetes. Years ago I asked all the siblings one by one their thoughts on their dad and all believed he wouldn’t last until the youngest brothers high school graduation (4 years from now) if he passes my husband would run the family business and we could afford the place by ourselves and buy the mom out….OR he is also an only child and his parents are also going to go soon so EVERYTHING would go to the dad (they live on a 2 acre property) one room the parents and one room for that youngest brother and then we would just sell this place. We looked at all the options before me agreeing to this. 

I told husband that either I would want the whole house or they buy us out of our part/we sell out old duplex we lived in/we buy our own place with the exact 4-5 rooms we would need. According to him his dad can afford this place on his own. Even if we moved he still has the two kids living rent free he could charge or they all move in the house the rent free downstairs and the parents and youngest upstairs and could rent out the garage too….basically there is lots of options. I just want to know ASAP because houses are going fast right now. Hubby insists we are not moving. He said we could turn the walk in closest into a bedroom (that still leaves the girls keeping each other awake and an extra baby) or he said renovate half the garage into a bedroom (one no heating not safe and that takes away the space for my photography studio the whole selling point for me gruntingly okay to move with them. Plus we don’t have the money to renovate the garage to be safe for kids. I also never liked this place because personally upstairs it’s only a shower and my peace for the day every day before was a hot bath to get away from the kids. I have no peace. There are no locks on any of the doors, the heating/ac sucks and is always cold no matter what I adjust it too (the kids refuse a shower so Idk the last time they even have been cleaned…yes disgusting.)They have a bath downstairs but it’s so cluttered down there and again the druggy brother is always down there in the day I don’t feel comfortable having my kids naked anywhere near him. Again “privacy issues”.
They also have a dog they have a crate in their garage (they call the lodge) but all day at work will leave her downstairs in a border thing where she is whining all day while nobody is home again except the druggy brother who barely does anything. I can hear that dog every day.

I guess what I’m looking for in all of this is 
1. Is it wrong for me wanting the whole house being pregnant now running out of space? And just wanting privacy? They are on the downgrade of life and we are going up if that makes sense… who knows if we’ll have more kids in the future and stay cramped with space. (That’s why I’m willing to move)
2. Hubby seems stubborn not to move, I feel trapped and can already feel the depression kicking in and has been mildly since we moved in September and more now being pregnant (I’m terrified/anxious nothing will change…)
3. Is it wrong to assume they should adapt to us in this scenario since we adapted to them bringing in their druggy son…they also gave him a car that he doesn’t have to pay for so he can get to his job. But again pays for nothing.
4. Hubby has told me not to say anything to anyone because it will “spook” them and they will hold on tighter. He said he will “supposedly” talk to them because it’s “politics”….I just find that ridiculous. 

Other backstory hubby and I are high school sweethearts and have now dated 12 years married for 6. In high school his mom would force my guy on dates with other girls to try to break us up because she didn’t like how serious we were (I knew what I wanted in life and I knew he was a great guy worth waiting for) she didn’t even care to try to get to know me and I even joined the church and we’re the only ones of her children who got sealed in the temple like she would want. The oldest sister not here got pregnant 3 times with the same guy and married just because of it (he treats her like crap) their kids are psycho cause trouble irresponsible. Ours are well mannered respectful of people’s things. It seems like no matter how hard I try his family is still selfish and has no respect for me (imagine the cool table in high school and you can’t sit with them or you do and they ignore you…yes it’s literally that ridiculous) they don’t care to engage with me even though I try. It’s like I’m the outsider and expendable to them. Mother in law made a comment during games yesterday which verified that in-laws (those not blood) don’t deserve anything or bare minimum) like how are they members of the church? I just grew up knowing what I wanted and honestly wanted in laws who were like family it was mother in law it was mom and siblings were the same…I’ve accepted that it won’t be that but all I said when moving with hubby was there had to be boundaries and it seems to go out the window with them. Anytime they have an issue big or small they alway call my husband over (last time it was 11pm to get a lizard out of their garage…who cares that they had the two other sons and daughter fully capable) I also asked from my hubby just for the kids to seem him at least 1 hour a day that’s it. He can do whatever he wants otherwise but his family keeps getting in the way of that. All I want is boundaries, privacy, comfort…is that seriously too much of us ask? I feel like hubby won’t cut the chord with them. I keep telling him I’m not saying he can’t see his family but I am saying me and the kids now need to be the priority over them for a healthy marriage. Am I crazy? Ugh again I feel trapped, depressed, and nobody talk to. Idk what to do…if you read all this god bless you I really just needed to be heard by someone.