In fact, it's probably around the 5th time. 

I'm exhausted. I'm in so much pain, I don't know how I'll be able to go to work tomorrow. I can't stop crying. I have no friends irl, only online. 

I will never be loved or wanted, and I can't handle this anymore.

I want to kill myself, but I'm too weak to do that, too.

I'm useless.