I feel unlikable, nearly everyday. I overanalyse situations I’m in and either overthink what I should say to be interesting or “in the loop” around my friends or I get too comfortable and forget to think before I speak and somehow offend someone unintentionally by being blunt.. I always care about what others think of me but there are days where Im in the “i don’t give a fuck” phase and its so exhausting.. I can’t keep up with my emotions . I want to hang out with people/friends less and less. I also don’t feel like I really belong in any friend group or feel close to anyone. I have a boyfriend but I’ve changed myself and bpd behaviours so much for him to tolerate me enough and somehow I don’t feel like myself anymore.. and still he says he got ptsd from it.. I tried my best to avoid that I really did this is so hard I don’t know what to do anymore or how to even feel