I deal with a lot of mood swings, anger, emotional outbursts, depression and suicidal thoughts as well as self mutilation and because of that most of my friends see me as a burden and too much to handle and my mom loves me but is getting to the point she is going to kick me out if I keep on messing up.  I just got a job part time as a cashier while I balance college and look for a therapist and psychiatrist hopefully next month. But how do I deal with being alone.  My only friend who's my boyfriend is in jail for failing his weed probation and people online and my family who doesn't even know him that well are saying I should just leave him. All of it is making me so depressed because I feel like I have no one and sometimes I feel like the world is so much for me , especially people that I have thoughts about ending my life. I have drugs * psychdelics and weed*, my cats and my passion for making art is probably the only thing keeping me here. It just sucks no one wants to even talk to me without me being too much of a burden. I'm thinking of deleting all social media and just being alone.  I don't really want or need to leave my house besides work so I'm thinking of just being alone and a hermit for awhile. I am just worried if I really want to isolate myself or it's just my depression because I'm hurt that I'm seen as a burden and pitted by everyone for having mental health issues . Maybe it's best to not having any human friends, atleast cats can't judge you lol.