Why can't I just kill myself and be free from this fucked up life? I'm crying right now, but of course there's nobody. I feel so lonely that I feel physically pained.

There's not a single soul in this world who loves me for who I am and I deserve it. I don't even feel like a human being, because how the fuck can someone be so unlovable, worthless, and replaceable and matter so little? How can there not be a single thing right about me? 

I really don't want to exist. I wish I never existed. I wouldn't have had to be someone who encroaches in others' lives who are all better off without me, I wouldn't have been in this hellish pain that'll never, ever leave me.