Minor TW - mention of the s word once, however it is censored.

I really need help stopping myself seeking out new relationships constantly. The second one ends, I immediately feel lost. I have a good job, set myself up for a great career, I’m young (22 on Thursday) and I have a lot of ambition. But I can’t stop the revolving door of wannabe relationships.

It’s like nothing else feels the same, nothing fills the void in the same way. I’ve just been broken up with again and nearly every time it sends me spiralling. I feel s*icidal and all I can see is a future of pure nothing. Granted, I live alone with my cat which doesn’t help - although I have very supportive parents. 

My dad has firmly told me I need to stop dating people and work on myself, my life, my career so that the next time I potential go through a breakup, I can handle it and I know I should… but god it feels impossible. I want to be loved so bad, I want to be enough for once but it feels like it’ll never happen. 

I want to get off this revolving door of infatuation.