Long story short, I was cleaning a pile of shrubs last week and was scratched by a branch as I was putting it into the garbage can (it was a small scratch but it drew a few drops of blood). Immediately I convinced myself that I had been exposed to rabies. This is because there are a lot of stray cats in my neighborhood and two in particular, including one male I rarely see, were out that morning mating in my neighbors yard. When they were done, they chased each other right past the pile of shrubs and so I've convinced myself that the one I never see must have been carrying rabies and that his contaminated saliva flew off their fur in the wind as they ran past the pile of branches and landed on the one that scratched me, eventually making its way into my bloodstream via the cut in my finger. 

I called my doctor to inquire about rabies shots and was told this was not an exposure and so they won't be giving me the shots. But since this anxiety and catastrophic thinking has interfered with my daily life, I called back a few days later to see if I can get the shots as a way to help me manage the anxiety and out of an abundance of caution and was basically told no again. I also called my county health department and the local animal control, both of whom said that shots weren't needed and that it wasn't an exposure. My wife is a nurse and she also said there was no chance in the world I've been exposed to rabies and that I should not get the shots. 

But my anxiety about this has gotten so bad and I've become so convinced that I'm going to die of rabies that I truly see only two ways out: either finding the one cat I rarely see (it's been 10 days now, so, according to the CDC, if he's still alive he couldn't possibly be rabid) or going to the ER and saying a bat was in my room so someone would  just give me the shots. I've been trying the first option with no luck. I've driven around my neighborhood like a madman for 5 days looking for this cat but I can't find him. Even if I do find him, I'm not sure I'll even know that it's him anymore. So the second option is looking more and more desirable. I'm afraid of feeding my anxiety by getting shots I don't need (even though my brain has done an excellent job convincing me that I do need them) but the fact that it can end this relapse right now might be worth it. My wife is 35 weeks pregnant and I NEED to be there for her and our baby right now and the thought of suffering like this for another few months (incubation for rabies is usually 30-90 days and) is unbearable. Also, the thought of NOT being there for her and our baby in the future years because I've died of rabies is even worse. 

Is walking into the ER and lying so I can get these shots worth it? I'm so desperate right now and I'm so tired of feeling like this.