Disclaimer: Not able too access therapy to get a diagnosis of BPD right now, so if that sort of thing bugs you, please skip this post. 

I've been using one of those mood tracker apps on my phone plus a period tracking app since the start of this year somewhat inconsistently, thinking nothing would really come of it. Then today after having a really bad episode of paranoia, thinking I've finally lost it and my world is coming to an end I check the last few months, out of sheer curiosity/desperation. And turns out I have one of these episodes every single month at this time. I'm still feeling fragile, but that brought me back from the edge. Also, I'm an idiot for not realizing this sooner. 🤦‍♀️

\* The app is called e moods for anyone who's interested, it's marketed towards people on the bipolar spectrum, but it's helpful for me because it includes qualifiers like; elevated mood, irritable, depressed, psychotic symptoms, as opposed to just good, bad, or tired.