I moved to a new country with my husband 2 years ago. It is a country that I always want to be in. I bought a flat, developed new hobby, and found a well paid good job. 

I have some friends in this new country, but they are around 1 hour away from where I am. I sometimes feel my husband is the only connection I have in this country. 

Today he was mad at me over something very minor (I misplaced something on the floor and he stepped on it). I couldn’t stop crying because I felt he is the only one I have left in this country. I realised if he doesn’t love me, I am all alone in this place. 

I’ve always associated my anxiety to my high stress work, which I’ve quitted. Since I quitted, I didn’t tell my husband about my ongoing anxiety. I have been still sad over nothing. I just feel too demanding / annoying if I keep saying “i am sad” over absolutely nothing. 

I started having a lot of wild suicidal thoughts - I wanted to divorce and take my money to travel somewhere far. When I used up the money, I will go to die… I am so tired of the anxiety and my life.