So I want to start by saying I don’t have a formal diagnosis of BPD - yet. Ten years ago I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I’ve tried therapy, various medications and it still felt not specific enough.  I’ve been on Zoloft for the last three years and i believed it was helping me at first but I find myself constantly thinking about death (I.e. who would be at my funeral if I died, would they pay attention to me then, etc). I’ve done research and discovered BPD, and for the first time ever connected with symptoms and feel kike maybe there’s actually a name for what’s in my brain. I’m in the process of a chapter 7 bankruptcy because when I’m bored, or sad, or happy, shopping is my vice. Same with eating. I buy so much food all the time like junk food and I’ve gained 100 pounds in 6 years. The impulsive factor suits me. In the past I have made up lies to get attention and have had sex with much older men on a whim (I do have an estranged father so I’ve always just chalked this up to that). I also just don’t feel normal; I’m always self analyzing and even when I’m out with people or when I get the courage to go on a date I’m always thinking if they’re looking at my
Flaws.  I’m sorry for rambling but it just feels good that maybe I finally have some kind of name for what I have- not just generalized anxiety and depression.