This past Wednesday, I had a four long psychiatry appointment so that I could finally get the proper diagnosis and treatment that I’ve been needing. 

Knowing how intensive and mentally draining this would have left me, I mustered every ounce of will-power in me, put aside my anxiety, and asked my friend to come be there for me if she’s able to.

She then responded saying she was working at 6:15pm and I responded back that my appointment is at 9:00am and I would mostly just need her to be there in the 2 hours following my appointment and asked if she’s willing to come, but I got nothing! Not a response! I know she didn’t have classes or any other commitments but she did not respond to me at all.

I had asked her this 3 weeks prior to my appointment and I decided to give her time just in case she was deciding, but Wednesday came and went and I heard not a word.

I’ve been trying downplay how much this hurt me all week long but this has seriously been a slap on the face. It has left me empty and doubting everything and everyone. I feel so lost and betrayed.

It hurts so much showing up weekly to meet with my therapist and seeing everyone else have someone be there for support both before and after. It sucks walking out after a drawing session and having to hold myself up and walk out like I’m not crumbling inside.

The first thing the psychiatrist asked me when seeing me was if someone came with me and having to answer no, broke me. No family, no friends. No nothing!

#I FUCKING HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!