So me and my boyfriend have been together shy of 2 months. We are seriously in the early stages and have gotten a lot of the hard conversations and boundaries out of the way which I have appreciated. One of my boundaries is that I’ve asked that he doesn’t get his hair done by his ex anymore. She’s a local hairstylist and did his hair while they were together as well. I was uncomfortable and asked that he find someone else, to which he agreed and even told me that a mutual friend of ours does hair and that he will try her next time. 

Yesterday he asked me out of the blue if I’d be okay with him getting his hair done by his ex. 

I myself am not a good communicator due to my home life, but for me to explain a boundary and for him to disregard it really hurt me. I feel like my vulnerability was taken advantage of and it infuriated me even more. 

Anyway, I told him sure and proceeded to stay quiet. Then, he asked me if it he could cut into our time hanging out and go get his hair done later that day. At this point I was over it and agreed to that as well. I went home, then realized that he never went the alternative route he said he would go.

We got in an argument the next day and he flipped the argument on me saying that I should have told him I was uncomfortable. Maybe he’s right, but what I was most uncomfortable with was that he lied about doing what he said he was going to do, and pushing me to move past a barrier I wasn’t ready to. 

I say all this to say that we came to a consensus that I will say when i’m uncomfortable, but how do I explain to him that I am now uncomfortable with him? I’ve been in relationships where I was manipulated before and this feels similar. I don’t know if it’s my anxiety or not but it’s taking a toll on my daily life. Can someone please tell me what route to take?