There is a person in my life I seem to idolize, over and over again. It’s my ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend. It seems silly but for some reason she seems to me like exactly the person I want to be. She has everything I want but don’t have. We’re going to the same college but she’s going to the main campus while I’m stuck at a branch because my grades weren’t good enough and my family isn’t rich enough to afford it, unlike hers. I somehow simultaneously wish we were best friends, that I was her, and that she didn’t exist. I don’t know how to get out of this rut, and it’s annoying since it’s been 5 months since she and my ex got together, and I have a new boyfriend now who’s an angel. I just don’t know how to quit this toxic idealization. 
