I talked with my LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor, if you're unfamiliar they're typically common on college campuses, they have a license to counsel and provide therapy strategies but don't have the ability to diagnose officially) literally a few minutes ago from the time I'm currently writing this for the first time in like what, four or five months? And we talked through each characteristic of Borderline Personality Disorder. I'd been seeing her for months before me cutting her out for that long but today she said the words: "your assessment is correct." 

I'm bringing these to my new therapist soon in the next meeting which sure I'm glad because it validated my long-drawn out suffering of over a decade but a *huge* part of me still wishes I was wrong. I don't know of stability. I don't know what it's like to not constantly obsess over people leaving me. I don't know how it feels to not live this way. It's extremely painful and I would give anything to be normal.