a lot of the times when i look in the mirror i realise im looking at myself but the person im looking at doesnt look familiar or feel familiar. like i genuinely cant connect my reflection with any of my experiences sometimes. 

this is especially true when im going through really difficult points where i absolutely despise myself and everything about me and think im ugly. but then sometimes like today it’ll flop and ill look at myself and think i look mad cute and it’s still just like. okay who’s man is this because i cant possibly look this nice today. feeling myself never lasts though because im sure by the end of the night i’ll be wondering why i even let my stupid ass leave the house looking like a whole damn gremlin after midnight