Hey everyone!

For context, I’m an 18 year old girl who’s just starting out uni. As is with BPD, I have had a TON of unstable friendships, and my self esteem as a person is also directly linked to my emotions regarding my romantic life.

So... I had been seeing a girl (romantically) for about a month, 6 dates in total, and we just had the chat tonight about a possible relationship, and even though I know it was coming because I had my woes with whatever it was, too- I am still so sad and defeated that I am not wanted.

I KNOW that it’s because of her work life and what she wants out of life and also because she doesn’t feel a spark between us, and my woes consisted of communication (lack of it) and just our compatibility- but my head’s just telling me that I’ll never get anyone to like me, ever, no matter how hard I try. (She is so nice and funny and we will still be friends, but I still cried when she told me)

I dress well, I try to be hygienic, courteous, I think I’m kinda cute and kind of smart and I have cats, I try to be humble, I critique myself too much, I put so much energy into making myself likeable.

What more do I need to be for someone to like me? What more do I need to be for someone to date me?

I know I’m young and naive but I just feel so lonely and unwanted, as if I will never meet anyone interested in me, ever.

Any thoughts?