Yesterday I talked about nihilism with my friend and literally in a course of 1 discussion of the basics switched from mocking it to defensive as if it was my own ideology. It's a great example of a dynamic going on whole my life - when I'm surrounded by a specific group I start blending in very quickly. Start talking like them, dressing like them, acting like them. Even tastes change - in music for example or media. This scares me a lot, because I had instances in the past when I engaged with lower life individuals and then stagnated in the way they were. Bounced back to my normal self when I stopped tho. The change is slow and subconscious, so I only realize it happened after a while. That's why I actively search for educated, successful and ambitious people so I could hold myself to a higher standard. I'm wondering tho, if there's any other way? I'm afraid of not knowing who I really am in the vacuum. And also I'd like to still engage with some people without necessarily acclimating to them