I would just like some advice.

For context I am Bipolar type one.

I started a job in December last year and to begin with it was a dream job and a great opportunity. I was on a high, was very confident and happy.

Around mid Jan I started suffering with some bad stress, bad nightmares that caused me to physically react and sleep deprivation. I was presenting to work out of it and spaced and on top of that the commute 1 hr each way was becoming a bit too much, so I saw a doctor who put me on amitriptyline and gave me a week off to sleep.

The Amitriptyline made me very spacey, depressed, still not able to sleep properly and I had a weight gain of 4.5 kg in a week. The following Monday I returned to work spaced out and not myself. I had a phone consult with the doctor who then put me on Olanzapine and told me to take a further week off.

I discussed this with the manager who said I needed to take the week off but that this would probably impact my employment (I’d likely be fired), we are set to have a meeting tomorrow with the owner of the business. 

I gave her the name of medication for her to look up and left again with my tail between my legs, embarrassed that I was causing problems.

I later find out olanzapine is an antipsychotic so now I feel she and the team will make assumptions on that.

About a day or two into taking the olanzapine I am sleeping but very messy, extremely depressed, anxious, suicidal and again I have gained another 4kgs, I have a phone consult on the Friday and I’m told to stop taking it, I call the manager and tell her what the doctor has said.

By this point I am aware of what is happening, I’ve been thrown into another depressive and anxious episode and I know I’m not going to be of any real use to anyone for a while so I tell the manager I plan to resign so as not to burden the business and for me to get back onto that good level. 

I personally feel like I have unfortunate problems that need me to now work on them(thanks medication).

I also feel that I need to probably try to refine what my next job entails(no longer than a 30min commute for starters). I will find another job easily due to my qualifications and it gives me the time to sort myself out without the added stress of masking and being paranoid and sloppy. Luckily my partner is supportive although a little disappointed.

I initially thought resigning was a good choice but am now having bad anxiety and guilt over what will be my decision Monday.

I need clarity, in these circumstances, am I making a good decision?

Has anyone had to go through things like this before?