For reference, I am not suicidal. It’s just a thought. 

I’m mid thirties, unattractive, live alone, and literally have one friend who lives in a different country. Both of my parents are nearing the last years of their lives and my kids want nothing to do with me. They don’t hate me but they don’t enjoy spending time with me, despite me trying. It’s always been this way. I am over 130,000 in student loan debt and work at an horrible job. I just am not very good at life. I don’t have any adult skills and have no financial planning set up. This isn’t a pity party; these are facts. 

However....the question remains: what the hell am I doing here? Like seriously. I’m clearly unwanted and who wants to be unwanted?