Unsure if this would go as far as an *illness*, per se, but just getting as much advice as I can get.

I've had katsaridaphobia, the fear of roaches, since the first time I set my sights upon a roach. And I live in Texas. Which, if you don't know, has a lot of roaches, particularly in the summer. I have the guts to do a lot of things when needed, like crawl through mud or face heights, but roaches are something else. They're small. They're hard to hit. They have these disgusting spike things on their legs. They have horrible colors-- brown and/or black. They can glide on their wings, which looks ugly and they could land on your head. They looks like something out of a horror movie when they writhe around rapidly on their backs. Sometimes they squirt juice that hits your leg when you step on them. They can swim sometimes. They can survive a decent amount without a head. They can CLIMB, and become even harder to hit, not to mention that they'll ALWAYS use this as a chance to sit on your ceiling. Their wriggling antennae. That disgusting face. Some can be SUPER fast. And worst of all, some of those fuckers are all of the above, and FLY. 

Sometimes, it's easy. Toss a shoe and they're dead. Sometimes, if it's slow or in reach, I can press a shoe into it. If one's being annoying, pour some soap or mouthwash onto it. Knocks them over and basically has them dead.

But it's gotten worse lately.

I usually spend about 30 minutes sitting up in bed just *glancing* around my room making sure roaches aren't present in the vicinity, ailing my sleep schedule. My hair, with dark brown bangs that appear in the corner and front of my eyes, or even SHADOW are converted into hallucinations of roaches. Actually, I'm starting to hallucinate small ones randomly when in my room.

My parents aren't helping either-- they're annoyed when I throw (or am about to throw) a shoe, my squeals when a roach runs past my feet or flies, or when I don't use a broom-- do you know what happens with brooms? They either crawl down the handle at you, get knocked down and hide in your room, or even FLY. The broom isn't hard enough to kill a roach in one go. And when I want shit to go out of my room, my mom wants me to keep it in my room. Shit that I don't use anymore.

And when I see one by my room, do they go into my mother's room across the hall? Maybe the bathroom and into a crack there to escape? No. They ALWAYS choose MY room. My room is *much* cleaner than my mom's room, yet they LOVE hiding behind the few cluttered areas are in my room. WHY DO THEY ALWAYS AIM FOR YOUR BODY OR WANT TO CRAWL ON YOU? 

What did I do to deserve this?

I need help, pronto.