I have a thought obsession with my unattainable FP. My life has hit near rock bottom again and fantasizing about him is one of the only things getting me through. Talking to him, even just seeing him, makes me incredibly happy. 

I don't have many resources to pursue hobbies. Learning more about my own issues and personal growth is a good thing, but it's depressing finding out how messed up I am. I don't know what to do. I wish I could stop seeing him where I do, but for right now I can't.