I'm going to try and keep this short.

We've been dating for over a year. I knew from the very beginning that she has BPD. We met at uni and she was in an experimental treatment program at the time, very rigorous and emotionally taxing. She stuck with it, which is part of why I fell in love with her: she wants to get better.

Anyway, ups and downs, meltdowns, breakdowns, shutdowns, the whole nine. But in between all of that is the most intense, visceral, and genuine *love* I've ever felt in my life. In short, that's why I'm with her, and that's why I want to marry her.

Fastforward to tonight, when she lost her only set of car keys and was stranded at work. She seemed to be handling things surprisingly well when she got home; she's been getting better at controlling her emotions. Eventually cracks show, and she starts breaking down, asking what she's going to do without a car she needs a car *now* we have to fix this *now* what are we going to *do*?!

She'd called to let me know what was going on so I had been looking into things, found out we have two options: 

1) call a locksmith and have them make a key from the ignition: $$$
2) get the VIN and proof of ownership and take that to a dealership to get a key made: $

She yells that she doesn't want to deal with the hassle of all that legal crap, besides how is she going to get to work? That's when I suggest she could take the bus for the rest of the week: "Fuck you, if you're too fucking cheap to have a locksmith come out I'll do it myself."

Now I know I haven't kept this short, but I've finally come to my question for anyone with BPD or anyone who is/was in a relationship with someone with BPD. These personal attacks that she makes, fuck you, faggot, cheap, bitch, etc., I've told her unequivocally that I won't stand for it. I will not subject myself to unwarranted abuse. I can handle the meltdowns and breakdowns, but when she starts personally insulting me I just can't handle it.

She's been getting better at controlling her emotions, but for her to still lash out at me so personally after all I did was try and help her... What do you guys think?

TL;DR: girlfriend has BPD, want to marry her, but when she has a bad meltdown she's attacking (not physically) and insulting me personally; is this going to be a permanent fixture in our relationship, or can someone with BPD learn to not personally attack those closest to them?