I lost a close friend of nearly 6 years last week and it isn't improving my already miserable mental health. I'm still processing everything that happened. 

I believe my anxiety just got the best of me and caused issues and it just reached a boiling point due to the stress she was in or whatever else she was going through. I  blame myself for the entire ordeal as it seems to me that I had done the most wrong and it's been eating me up since. Considering she just flat out told me she was done with me and to get rid of her number I guess I'll never be able to make up for it either. We both worked at the same place so I just ended up quitting cause I can't handle work and this whole ordeal at the same time. I don't even feel like showing up to get my last paycheck. 

I already was struggling before this whole ordeal with constant anxiety, already being depressed as is, and some physical health issues, and suicidal ideation so now I feel like I'm just going to spiral downward even more and don't think I'll be able to climb back up. 

I wish things were easier.