I left my FP yesterday morning because I realized that if I kept the relationship the way it was it would destroy me and eventually them. I promised them I’d be back, as I’m only leaving for a time so I can hopefully become better and not behave in a toxic way. As of yet, I’ve never lashed out at her in any way and I’m scared that I will and I want to stop it before it starts. I love her too much and I will stop everything to protect her, even if it’s from myself. I was constantly afraid that if they left me on read for even a minute, they hated me, and they’d leave again. That’s the last thing I want. The constant overthinking and anxiety of them leaving me was too much to take. It’s even worse when I know they’d never leave me, I know they love me, and I probably hurt them by leaving. I feel bad, but at the same time I know it’s for the best. The only thing is, I don’t know how to get better or where to go next. I don’t know what I need to do to actually get better and work towards a genuine, healthy relationship. 

Honestly I just needed to vent, but if anyone has any advice, please share. Thank you so much for reading.