I am diagnosed with bipolar 1 and borderline personality disorder. Most of this year I have spent inpatient. I have tried to commit suicide at least 4 times this year. I was almost successful. I was in a comma for 3 days this year and was thought to die from it but here I am. I am so used to being inpatient. I wrote this message hoping for some support. I am not sure what to do to motivate myself to get better. If things get worse I am going to have to live with my parents again which I don't want and also I could potentially lose my relationship with my boyfriend who I have been with for the last 3 years.