I find it so bizarre that I secretly like thinking those negative thoughts despite telling myself I don’t. I’ll have a moment of inner peace and calmness, and then they’ll start back up again. I even train my mind to allow negative thoughts and emotions without judging them, but they never leave me alone. 

Watched a YouTube video recently where a neuroscientist talked about how negative thoughts cause your brain to release cortisol and I thought to myself, “well fuck, that’s all I do, can’t believe I’m still here.” My head always feels tight and I never have the clarity I want. Am I crazy lol?