I'm sorry.

I don't know why I'm like this. It hurts to be the lonely one in a group. I know if I was normal. If I wasn't a weirdo that caused awkward silences. I wouldnt be lonely.

I abandoned my friends that agreed with racist. But it's not like anyone else was there in new York. Maybe that's why I was friends with these people in the first place. Because I was part of their pathetic rank bonds.

But I have people in my life that help me.

But their not as close as they were before. I just feel left out all the time. But this wasn't that different from before. They would always tell me I get angry easily. Yes I do but do I deserve some amount of a good time. Do I have to be left out? Why am I so sensitive ahhhh!


More than ever I feel internal pains on my heart. I don't even have medical conditions. It's just my depression. I took medicine today but why do I only want to cry.

Today was great I bought tacos for my siblings and I. I woke up and went to school. I showered and ate dinner.

Why do I feel I need to continue the narrative my life is so unfair and the world is unfair. What am I even whining about. I just keep reminding myself of the horrible things that happened to me. :(. Will this ever end.