I am M21. I was Physics major at a top university in the US and took a year off of school because of how depressed I became. I had an extreme passion for physics and loved what I did. Nothing happened to me, I had straight A’s, I was not struggling in any way, had a girlfriend, plenty of friends and plenty of close friends, supportive family, just everything. I don’t know what happened. I’ve been at home for 7 months now and I am at the worst place mentally I have ever been at. I hate doing absolutely everything. I find no joy in anything, in fact it’s more of a disgust of everything I see. I seriously don’t know what to do anymore. It feels like my life is over. I cry most of the day. Growing up I was the happiest kid ever, I loved everything, everything just seems like a complete joy. I had never once felt upset for more than a day (maybe even an hour). I have never felt anything like this before.

I’ve been doing therapy since November (~5 months ago). I just go, I think it helps but sometimes I am just doing so badly it’s like I couldn’t be any worse. I can’t even play video games anymore. I used to be able to but now it’s just too miserable. I even tried to get a job and quit after two weeks because of how depressed it made me feel. I barely worked any hours and my whole week would end up being just sleeping, working, and crying. 

Does anyone have any sense of what to do? I am thinking of going to the hospital right now because I haven’t eaten in 3 days and I am constantly shaking and crying.

Also, I am not on any medication but I am seriously considering it. 

This is to the point where I seriously don’t know what to do right now. I don’t want to talk to people, I don’t want to be in my room alone, I can’t eat. I can’t think of one thing I should do. I don’t even know why I’m writing this. It’s like a last ditch effort I guess. 

Physics was my whole life, but I can barely pick up a book without getting distracted and then probably start crying. Even the thought of going back to school makes me sick. 

Seriously does anyone on earth know what to do