I grew up showing several signs of autism (hypersensitivity, tow walking, over stimulation, ect), and was diagnosed at 17.

My parents were both violent drug addicts and alcoholics. Anytime I had a meltdown of any sort I was met with being slapped or screamed at. My dad routinely told me to "knock it off" and "stop crying". My mom would scream at me, and would always hit me with the classic abusers response of "I don't remember that" when I brought up her abusive actions she did against me in the past. I grew up constantly invalidated from my experiences. My older sister, while she experienced the same abuse, would take her anger out on me in result of our parents abuse. At 19 I was diagnosed with BPD after going on a weekend long drug bender and thrown into rehab. 

I hate my parents so much. They hurt me and my sister beyond belief. I still talk and see my dad, and while our relationship is much better he'll never fully own up to what he did. I cut my mom off today for good, years of substance abuse has damaged her brain beyond repair. She isn't the same person.

I'm 22 now. I've been hospitalized 13 times. I can't hold down a job. I can't keep up with therapy or my meds. I just got evicted from my home and are now living with my Aunt. 

I keep holding onto the idea that things will get better, they will. I just have to work towards it. But FUCK is it hard.