Hey r/BPD

To make things concise, I have BPD and a horrible partner. My FP blocked me, asking for space. I "couldn't" handle it and called her many times. I even made email accounts just so I could text. 

At worst I used a "burner" number just so they would pick up and was on the edge of wanting to end my life due to what happened and many other factors. She said that doing this was violating her boundaries (I agree). 

But after that, a month has passed, and I remember that she told me that she wants to talk things out once exams are over. But I think because we got into an argument (during the same time), she just blocked me. 

A month has passed, exams are over. I've been working on myself hard. I guess it was not as if it was promise or anything, but I did give her space. However, last night I couldn't take it anymore. I really wanted to hear her voice. I did the same thing. But she managed to block everything and not answer at all.

Now I feel like complete shit. Is it over? She said before the block that she still wanted to be with me, but I can't help that it's over. I just want to move on if it is. The uncertainty is killing me.