Are any of you guys actually terrified of dating? My bpd seems relatively non existent when I’m single, I function really well, people love being around me, I enjoy my life and then as soon as I either start getting feelings for someone or start actually dating it’s like a switch is flipped inside of me and I turn into someone completely different? I’m usually a really funny person and it’s what all my partners have really loved about me, but it’s like as soon as I feel really connected to someone in a romantic way/ fall in love it’s like my whole personality disappears? my comedy goes out the window, and any joke they make I always believe is at my expense and I take everything personally. Even stuff I would genuinely laugh at and find hilarious during the talking stage, sometimes even jokes I would make myself I take offence to. I lose my sense of humour and I just become riddled with anxiety and fear the entire relationship. I’ve been alone for almost a year now and things have been really good, but I’m starting to have feelings for someone who I think is lovely but I feel like I should leave her alone to spare her the atrocities that come with my mental illness in a relationship. I don’t know how to heal this part of me? I love, love. Even though it is my biggest trigger.