Coming to that realization is a game changer. I'm never going to do shit with my life. I'm never going to get a good education. Never going to get a good job or stable  income. Never going to find someone to love or someone that loves me. Never going to pursue my dreams. Never going to be happy. 

Everytime I try to change for the better, I get kicked down. I don't know why I continue to work towards happiness when I continuously feel worse. Fuck working towards love, dreams and happiness. That's all fucking bullshit, keep your expectations low and nothing will hurt you. I'm so done. Burned out. I tried to deny my worth for the longest time and I'm done with that too. I'm a worthless sac of shit and things are going to get fucking easy