This week was new. I haven’t even left the house (I work from home)… which I barely did.
Didn’t go to the gym. 
Didn’t go grocery shopping. 
Didn’t see anyone. 
Didn’t put out the trash.
Didn’t even make it to the mailbox.

I just sat on the couch watching tv, ate, and cried. Put on 15lb in a week (yes in one week) and still cannot get myself to move and leave the house.

I have a therapy appointment Monday afternoon- and while I am going to make it, I’ll be about two weeks away from my birthday. As I said before I’ll say again, I’m ready to die. I cannot do this anymore. No one will notice or care (as no one noticed I haven’t left the house in a week) and no one will miss me. 

I planned it out. Not excited as it’s nothing to be excited about- but a relief to know it will be over and I’ll never have to open my eyes again to face this monster I am.