First of all, I wouldn't label myself "anti-psychiatry" as that term doesn't generally gather the correct connotations imo, but i'm using it here for convenience. I'm someone who is very very wary of psychiatric treatment and i'm having a strong dilemma atm regarding what my next steps can be considering the horrors that I have read, seen, AND experienced regarding psychiatric treatment and considering that I am not doing well and am a bit desperate. I'll pose my situation and dilemma and maybe I can be given some sort of advice? Thank you.

Basically I'm 28 and I have suffered since I was around 15 from an ever worsening melange of symptoms that I can describe with terms like depression, generalized anxiety, social anxiety, OCD, executive dysfunction, intrusive thoughts, ruminations, panic, what may arguably be mildish psychosis and more. The mostly shoddy psychiatrists I have seen in the past have used either no label, major depressive disorder, or even Bipolar to describe my condition.

Since mid 2020 i've suffered from an added melange of autoimmune-like symptoms including what feel like full time body temperature disregulation that feels like constant hot flashes, chronic fatigue, some inner restlessness/restless leg syndrome, and my mental condition has worsened. My executive dysfunction has reached a point where I can't concentrate on anything or do anything and I am now even getting what I would describe as regular "depression attacks" which are like I guess what panic attacks are but just scarier, during those acute multi-hour long attacks I feel added anxiety, panic, and racing thoughts of suicide and depressive things. It feels like insanity.  

The thing is that this worsening came after coming off Sertraline incorrectly in late 2019 due to a variety of reasons, although I didn't really "feel" a recognizable worsening until mid 2020. I'm in the process of seeing a neurologist and rheumatologist atm but the fact I have gone haywire feels to me like it is connected to the discontinuation of that SSRI and my theory is of a protracted SSRI withdrawal syndrome affecting my CNS. This seems to happen a lot from what i've read. 

Added to this is the fact that I tried Luvox for just a few handful of doses last year in February and that made me nigh psychotic, acutely suicidal, gave me burning skin neuropathy for a couple of months, and magnified my depression and anxiety to exponential levels. This all happened despite having read a lot about the potential horror of psychiatric treatments. 

Despite relatively informed consent I still suffered and should probably be dead if I wasn't as strong as I am, and ever since then I have only read and seen more about the potential horrors of psychiatric treatment and I'm very conflicted as to what to do because I also feel absolutely terrible on a daily. It's gotten to the point where "great days" are the days where i'm just moderatley depressed and bed ridden but not attacked by the acute depression attacks. 

What if I get akathisia? Tardive dyskinesia? Parathisias? Neuropathy? Psychosis? Suicidal psychosis spells? This is all possible and i've already more or less experienced it, and i'm already living with the sense that my current state is at least in part due to that which i've tried before.

It doesn't help that the anti-psychiatry folks talk about horror stories, evil pharma industry, and the little evidence for great long terms results from psychiatric treatment. 

Ive never come across some sort of discussion about how to reconcile both extremes of opinion.

What do I do?