Im hopelessly in love with my FP. Previously, he decided we couldn't date and I FREAKED. Constantly messaging him, either cussing him out or begging him to be with me. He blocked me everywhere. A few months later he unblocked me and even gave me an apology. By then I was not over him but more accepting he was gone.

We started talking again and I asked him to be my friend, and he said sure. He's in the military so he's busy alot and doesn't really talk to me unless I message him, which if you have BPD you know the bare communication is maddening.

He visited me twice and it made me realize how much I want him all over again. Im proud of myself atm, I havent declared my love for him or asked to be with him even though I want to. But Jesus the shotty communication is killing me. I want to talk to him everyday but he's so wrapped up in work that he doesn't even give me a second thought.

Idk how to distract myself. I just cry all day and make up how much he hates me in my head, when in reality he's just busy and im not a priority.

I hate fps :(