hey all. 

so i’m not diagnosed BPD but i’ve had very strong suspicion that i do have BPD for a very long time. i identify heavily with most symptoms, i relate to most posts here insanely, i split so hard on loved ones. 

i had my very first session with my new therapist this past wednesday, and some point during our session she brought up that i mentioned thinking i may have BPD in our consultation, and said that i don’t exhibit any of the symptoms. again, this is literally my first session with this woman and she doesn’t know really anything at all about me yet. her saying this just kind of made me irrationally pissed off, and as she started listing symptoms i told her in depth which ones i felt i have and why, and she just... brushed me off. she was acting and responding as if she felt i was lying to her about my own experiences and feelings. 

i feel like i’m not being heard and i don’t even want to go to my next session at this point but i know how badly i need therapy and she’s the only therapist i can afford right now and i don’t know what to do at all. i feel like no one gives a shit what i have to say about my own mental health and i’m fucking drowning. 

if anyone has any advice it’s appreciated, i just feel like there’s no point in trying to get help anymore. this isn’t the first therapist that i feel literally just treats me like a liar when i talk about MY experiences and life. is there something i’m doing wrong? i don’t understand how i’m bad at fucking therapy