 So, lately I've slowly been working on an issue I have and it's not been easy persay. But anyways to start us off I have the issue of just not ever messaging any of my friends and then I wonder why they never do me I guess I also am always on Invisible so that doesn't help. I've lately organized myself in attempts to remove this fear. I genuinely am not in the mood to even talk to anyone despite it being the main goal of today. I sorta don't know how to go about this.

My logic beyond this is that I'm bothering them or something and sometimes if I get no response it's because they're not interested in me. Sometimes it could just because of the topic itself. I guess I do no good if I just send memes and expect responses. Maybe I should resort back to just asking a few questions to open a conversation of some sort.. Hmm. Idk this is my inner dialogue so I can't say I know how bad it is it could be much worse but atleast I'm trying to face it before I let it drown me. It already has though. I do find it easier within a group though to start conversations of some kind.

One more thing before I kinda like send this to reddit or whatever but like okay 2 things. I get annoyed by the fact that some other people won't DM me first and the people who do annoy me. I feel messed up. What do I even want at this point?

2nd thing was like.. I genuinely sometimes find it as if some friendships had a peaking point and now that it's lost or even after meeting someone for awhile that like it wouldn't be that way again or that like it's met it's expiration date as in they wouldn't even be interested to some extent. This one is a newer thought but I'm trying to head my anxiety off as much as possible ya know?