When someone says something that upsets you, I always here that it’s a good idea to ask “is this a fact or an opinion” — because usually it’s opinions that are upsetting — and if they’re not facts than it doesn’t matter - but what do you do when there’s a strong negative association with the fact? 

Example: was asking my sister about sewing a bikini top- she said she makes her stitches extra curved because “I have bigger tits than you, but you can probably just do a straight line because yours are so small.” 

Fact: her boobs are bigger than mine (but honestly not by THAT much so it made me extra upset because like, there’s not even a huge difference) 

General world opinion: small tits are not desirable 

When someone points out that my boobs are small and theirs are big, it makes me feel so extremely insecure and SO angry and upset that they would say that- because even though it’s technically true, it feels like an insult, because there’s an OBVIOUS negative connotation with what I have and an obvious positive connotation with what you have - and you’re directly comparing us, making it clear you are objectively better than I am. 

Felt like she was flexing herself and putting me down (logically I know that wasn’t the intention but it doesn’t matter because the negative connotations are so strong- not just in my own head but in the general fucking world)

Obviously I know it’s not a fact that bigger boobs are better but when that’s the world wide general opinion so much so that some people DO consider it a fact- how do you diffuse that anger? 

Her making that comment literally wrecked my whole night, made me so fucking angry and caused self harming behaviours to resurface, and caused so many feelings of self hatred that won’t go away.

So how do you manage stuff like this when it is a fact paired with an opinion that feels unchangeable- it’s a FACT so many people have the same negative opinion associated with the fact- one that puts you down and makes you hate yourself