i'm a teenager who has two sides: (1) the one that eats a lot and (2), the one who refuses to eat for some reason.

ever since pandemic happened, everything started to screw up. i used to be very healthy (both physically and mentally), very bubbly,  and carefree in a positive way. and then my days started to get sh*tty.

so yeah, it affected my weight so much. even my family who are always here with me everyday is surprised everytime they notice that i lose weight. and i swear i really, really, REALLY try my best to gain some and maintain it again. but idk. i feel like giving up sometimes.

if i lose appetite, the reason is always **STRESS**. yes. and that's also the same reason why i eat a lot sometimes. very confusing. this problem started when my family says that i really lost some weight—and they were right. i wasn't aware before about it. and the consciousness about my weight made me feel more stressed. and you know where it'll lead to. it's either i'll eat less or more.

as someone who suffers from *health anxiety*, this is pretty tough. i sometimes feel like there's something wrong with my health because you know, i've been losing weight. sometimes, i don't believe that it's because of stress. worrying about this make me cry almost every night.

and yeah, until now i don't really see any improvements at all. i badly need help on how to gain weight and maintain it.