I'm depressed, diagnosed by my psychiatrist, but is not something that makes me planning my death. 
I have kidney stones plus back pain. The pain it's always there and have no money for a surgery. I've been trying everything to somehow "reduce" the size of the stones... Bit honestly, today I was almost decided to pick a knife and stab myself into my liver. 

I'm really depressed at this because it's not something that comes from my depression, it's just I'm in pain and exhausted to live like this. The only thing that makes me feel better is tramadol.

Any advice? Please.
Thank you.