A family member has been long been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.  She has extremely low self esteem, and thinks she's unattractive, and that no one likes her, when the major unattractive thing about her is that she doesn't like herself.  She has churned through a slew of psychologists, she starts out liking them, but ends up hating them after a few months.  She doesn't respond well to cognitive behavioral therapy, and there are no dialectical behavioral therapists in her area.  Depression runs in our family, and virtually all of the women in one half of our family take antidepressants.

Anti-depressants work very well for her, at least for the symptoms of the disorder, though she insists they don't work.  When she's taking anti-depressants, she doesn't cry uncontrollably, or have fits of rage.  When she takes anti-depressants, the tone of her voice lifts an octave, and she sounds happy.  When she's off anti-depressants, the tone of her voice is low, depressed, and flat affect.  She has been on and off antidepressants more than a half dozen times in her life.  Everyone who knows her well can easily tell when she's gone of her medication.  

She insists that anti-depressants don't work.  She gets very angry when anyone suggests otherwise.  She also says they blunt her sex drive, though she isn't dating right now.  Whenever we raise the issue of antidepressants, she lashes out and accuses us of trying to "fix her."  Talking to her about her problems is very difficult, because if you do anything other than agree with her assumptions that her life is terrible, there's nothing she can do, and there is no hope, she gets extremely angry and accuses you of not listening.  

When she is on anti-depressants, she doesn't talk about suicide, but she talks about suicide frequently otherwise.  And she does pose a real risk to herself, due to her condition, and because she has thought about specific methods.  

What can I do?  How can I convince her to go back to counseling and to take antidepressants?  I've bought and read a book on dialectical behavioral therapy, but it hasn't helped me to convince her to take positive steps that would help moderate her powerful emotional swings.  And, I'm not a counselor, and it's not easy for me to try to succeed in counseling methods when so many psychologists have failed. 

Has anyone here been in a similar state, and agreed to be helped?  What helped you?  What can I do or say?  This is very important, because we love her, and she's in a very dangerous place. 