28 years old, several diagnoses and I don’t even know what I have. I’m sick of the cycle, im sick of ruining relationships, pushing people away and hating myself everyday for it.

I can’t keep doing it. It’s so hard to change, I need medication but nothing works. I have health anxiety and feel like everything will hurt me. My anxiety controls me and everything I do, I can’t heal from trauma I can’t move on from anything. Just stuck like a fucking boulder.

I’m tired and I want to fade away but something keeps me going and I don’t know what.