I’ve dealt with anxiety my entire life. I was on SSRI’s for 10 years and they worked pretty great for a while. At this point none of them work regardless of the dose. 

I also went through a 2 year period where I really wasn’t working much due to a layoff and then Covid. In October I accepted a job with the highest salary I’ve ever received. I needed this money as a single person trying to live on my own. 

The thing is, the job involves making tons of calls to interview people. Not my favorite but on top of that, the office setup is three of us working in the same room. I really hate making calls like that feeling like everyone is just listening to you. I can go to other conference rooms to make calls but it’s super inconvenient. 

And if you’re wondering why take a job like that if it causes anxiety, well I took what I could get hired for based on my experience and be able to pay bills. Now I feel trapped because I just got this job and with inflation what initially was a great salary now looks more like a minimum needed to survive. 

Sitting here two days before I have to go back just dreading it nonstop. I’ve started having bad thoughts that def concern me. I just don’t really know what to do. I feel this pressure from family to make this work bc they see it as a stable future. But I fucking hate it.