Family is depressed, I’m depressed, and life doesn’t seem to get better for any of us.

I feel trapped. Wake up, eat, go back to bed, eat, go back to bed, eat, sleep, wake up, etc.

I’m so burnt out from high school and feel so lost after COVID. I graduated last year, but I feel so lost. Didn’t have the grades or money to go to college, while everyone at my school either moved out of state or is away from their home. I’m stuck here to deal with day to day family bullshit.

I feel like I’m just wasting time. I’ll be 20 next year, but the thought that I’m going to be 30 in a decade is fucking scary. No job, barely any college, and no passions. There are people who graduated at the age of 20. That’s fucking crazy.

I’m just too tired to care anymore. I feel like all the people around me took any joy in life worth fucking having. I ask myself why I had to be born with my family and deal with THEIR bullshit they could’ve fixed years ago.

What do I do? I don’t want to see my family for a long time, but I feel trapped. I feel like I have to stay and hope that their situation will get better, but that’s wasting my time. 

I want to go to an actual fucking University with people and housing, all that good stuff, but I’m so tired of school. I hate school and homework.