It’s like I want to die but I also don’t. I want the thoughts in my head to stop and I want to stop feeling scared but whenever I think about actually ending it and not waking up, it scares me. I do have things I love and things I wish I could accomplish but I don’t want to live with these feelings forever. My family are heavily depressed and I know my death could genuinely kill them. I just wish I weren’t cursed with these mental issues so I could live a happy long life but no.