Hey, I hope you're all doing well and keeping safe in these trying times. I've today realised my anxiety is taking over my life and I'm going to end up very lonely if I don't do something about it and I'm terrified. 

I'm a male in my late twenties, with a small loving family and good friends and a great job. I'm very thankful for what I have. My last two serious new relationships ended abruptly and out of the blue, when things were seemingly going well, and it absolutely shattered my confidence. 

Now for the last three years and a handful of dates going nowhere I'm utterly terrified of meeting people I'm dating in person for fear of rejection. 

Four months ago someone I went to school reconnected with me on social media and we quickly clicked, a month into talking she asked me to go for a walk as a socially distanced first date (that's all we can do as a result of the pandemic), I found an excuse not to, when in reality I was too scared of her not liking me and the fear of rejection. I felt that the rejection, coupled with the stress of the pandemic would be too much.

We've spoken every single day from day-to-night and again since that point only getting closer, during the Christmas holidays she asked me to meet for a walk again, and yet again I made another excuse saying I didn't feel comfortable due to the pandemic and heavy restrictions being placed on us that week in the UK. 

I genuinely had all the intentions of taking her out when restrictions were lifted (I honestly did, I've been trying to build up the courage, I feel comfortable meeting under non-pandemic circumstances in a bar or restaurant). 

Today, she told me she'd met someone else at the same time as talking to me, as I didn't seem like I was serious about her (as I'd failed to see her), and I completely don't blame her, I wasn't fair to make someone wait to meet me for four months, pandemic or not. 

This isn't the first time I've found excuses not to go on a date with someone I've been extremely compatible with for fear of rejection, I just make excuse after excuse until I drive them away. But this time it hit harder as I genuinely had strong feelings for the girl that had developed over time... This has made me realise how alone I am and had I just swallowed my fear of rejection I might not be in this situation and I could be very happy. 

How do other people get over the anxiety of being rejected? It's taken over my life. I'm confident in interviews, making friends and talking to new people in a non-romantic manner. But it's gone form being a mild annoyance to completely ruling my life, I've been able to go on a date for about a year and a half and I'm terrified of ending up alone.

**TLDR: I've become terrified of meeting dates in person, as a result I've lost someone and I'm terrified my anxiety is going to ensure that I'm alone for a long time**