I got the news tonight that my last psychiatrist died, I don't know how or when or where, but I feel like the worst person on Earth because I thought she had ["ghosted" me](https://www.reddit.com/r/BPD/comments/663xho/venting_i_dont_know_what_happened_with_my/?ref=share&amp;ref_source=link), now I feel like a piece of trash for thinking she was being unprofessional when in fact she was being the total opposite, I feel terrible about that and wish I could take back everything I thought about the issue.

I'm gonna miss her, I already do, and now I don't know what else to do.