I just had a break thru. During a two day insomnia spell powered by a manic episode I was skimming articles on the internet obsessively trying to figure out why every single one my relationships had gone wrong.  I specifically looked up articles on narcissists and if I attracted them and how to stop, was not expecting to come to the realization that I was the narcissist in every relationship this whole time. I never realized certain traits of mine before starting weekly therapy in January. It feels like everything I have been working on in those sessions finally makes sense.  Basically it seems like my therapist could realize I was one but never brought it up or called me one directly and instead had me breakdown everything slowly and come to the conclusion by myself without feeling simply labeled or judged as one by others.  It's almost like a flood of relief- wondering for almost a year if I was actually learning anything from all these sessions or if they were simply something to dull the loneliness.  Now that I put everything together I feel like I can actually work on a myself and it actually be possible to break these awful habits of mine.  I know I'm fortunate to have insurance that covers therapy and understand that a lot of people don't have it like that, but if any of ya'll are simply on the fence about starting to see someone then please do it. But stick with it and and give yourself plenty of time to process everything. It'll feel awesome when you notice it!