I had a lot of empathy when I was a kid. But I grew up with severely abusive and neglecting parents so I remember training myself as a kid to disassociate and to work on not caring about anyone because I would only get hurt if I did. I was very quiet at home but learned to go outside in the world and make friends and appear as “normal.” As an adult, I’m really struggling with having empathy or any emotions for other people. I can appear like I care, but it’s very difficult to actually feel anything. I do care about animals; like when I see a dog or cat in need, I will try to help and I’ve cried for them when watching certain uplifting videos such as a sick shelter pet getting help and becoming healthy and happy. I really want to feel for something for other people as well, but it’s difficult.  I have qbpd so I don’t tell anyone when I’m extremely moody and emotional but the intense emotions are never really about relationships or people… it’s just an abstract feeling of emptiness and depression. I don’t have any emotions when I hear about people going through something, that they’re ill, or that they’re suffering. I want to, but there’s always a voice inside me that says that they wouldn’t care if I died today so why should I? 
I love and care for my SO who is my FP or only person… so I know I’m capable of it. As for my other family members, or other people ( I have no real friends), I’m really struggling. I’m not sure if this has to do with my BPD or if it’s something else. I’ve been told by a therapist that it’s me trying to protect myself and be strong and that I shouldn’t be too hard on myself and that it would take a lot of work but is possible. Just wondering if anyone else has felt this way…