I've been dealing with severe mental health issues for many years and have finally been in a good place. I've been happy with myself and pretty much able to handle my emotions which is a huge deal. I think a big part of my success was radical self acceptance. I accepted who I am, flaws and all. I guess that worked because I didn't really focus on my flaws. Maybe I was too careless with my self acceptance and took advantage of it to be irresponsible and not care. For example: I've had a big problem with lying at work for several years. It never really bothered me because I never got caught. To be honest, I liked lying and getting away with it. I just loved myself, lying and all. I didn't use my self love to actually try to be the best version of myself. 

Well, of course my lying has finally caught up with me and I'm in big trouble. I don't know what will happen, but I feel so sick about the way I have been acting. I feel like all of my "self love" has actually been a disgrace. When I think about how happy I was with myself, I just feel disgusted now. I'm not sure I'll ever to be happy with myself again. I was getting a lot of self confidence and really putting myself out there and now I just feel so fake. 

I'm being honest with my job about what I did, but I just want to crawl into a hole and never come out. It's just so frustrating because I felt like I had really made it with my mental health, that I was in a good place. I just hate myself for how I have been behaving.