Disclosure: Always seek or ask for help. This isn’t medical advice.

TLDR

Had insane suicidal depression. Turned out to be the fish oil supplements I took. I work and live a stressful life. But the fish oil broke something in my mind. Currently off fish oil and finally rebalancing. 

I feel like I have gotten insight into how many feel and decided to document what happened. 

Health, prayer, resting the mind, and getting off fish oil is bringing me back to my older self. It also caused me to make permanent changes of prioritizing my mental health.

One day I read on the internet that grey hair meant I lacked fish oil. So I ended picking some up. Prior, sometimes I’d feel happy or sad but regularly emotionally based on events. 

First week taking the fish oil, I realized I had some weird thoughts. Nothing alarming, a bit dark. 2 weeks later whilst flying (I live/work away from friends, gf, and family) I had anxiety while flying. Sometimes I fly, I’ll get anxiety for a minute if there’s bad turbulence or wind like everyone else, but it subsides after a minute or so. Afterwords I’d feel the bumps and not be anxious (kind of feels cool sometimes). But this time my anxiety persisted. I had to keep on making myself keep control.

Fast forward another 2 weeks. I went to the gym 2 days in a row and worked out really hard. I took maybe 2-3 pills. Had 4 hours of sleep before Monday work day.

At work I was clearly exhausted. One of our interns then proceeded to make a joke that they were in grade 6 when I was hired full time years ago.  Then I kept thinking about that. After lunch my mood dropped. I felt as if I was not in my self. I began feeling trapped. Feeling suicidal, highly depressed. I kept thinking about what he said and what have I been doing with my life (I’m pretty successful so definitely this stuff can hit anyone!).

I left work early, I felt sick, stomach felt sour and I felt in a daze.

I got home, stayed in bed all day, then all night, then all day the next day.

My thoughts were existential crisis, suicidal, and trapped. I was freaking out. My family and gf call, I just tell them I’m sick and hang up.  I started thinking about what happens when I off myself and how my family will take it. Then I told myself God wouldn’t like it (recently became more religious because of my gf, so Christianity came in at the time of my thoughts).

Anyway, that night I was in evaluation mode. “Why am I feeling like this” “this isn’t normal” “I need to talk to someone” 

I start googling and see that I have existential crisis and quarter life or mid life crisis.  Then I realize how many ppl feel like this. So thinking that many people go through this, I keep telling myself this is normal and I can get through this.

Then it hit me… only change I’ve made was fish oil supplements. I google that and realize that it actually affects the brain and is something prescribed to people who get depressed.

I’ve stopped taking fish oil, whilst the emotions are wild. Super happy and smiling and laughing then Super dark, depressing and suicidal and trapped.

What I did when feeling these things before realizing fish oil was messing me up:

1. Exercise and continue hitting the gym
2. Limit things that would make me emotional 
3. Keep telling myself that how I feel is normal and I’ll get through it
4. Sleep 8 hours per day
5. Googling my feelings and seeing how others feel and how they coped

And a lot of prayer

If I didn’t get off fish oil, my next step would be to talk to someone

Things I did after

1. Stopped fish oil
2. Eating healthier
3. Staying away from things that can get me emotional 
4. Still sleeping better
5. Continuously telling myself that this is something that’s normal and can be fixed by getting into a healthy routine
6. Walks
7. Prayer

As the fish oil leaves my system I feel I get insanely happy and then insanely depressed. But I fixate my mind on these feelings being normal to life.

So that’s what happened to me.

Hopefully you guys can hopefully get something from this.

Who would have known too much fish oil can cause this.