I’m a 37 year old single male that has a rough life dealing with extreme self esteem issues and anxiety. I’ve recently been trough a bout of COVID and while it was scary I think the worst part is how it triggered a series of panic attacks that I’m still battling with to this day. 

They were so bad that it prompted me to seek help from a professional for the first time ever. They have me on Lexapro and it’s probably one of the scariest things I’ve been trough. Only been on it for about 5 days but the insomnia side effect has been hard to deal with. Seems like it fluctuates between hard to okay day by day but nights are the worst. 

One of the worst things about this is that fact that the mere thought of going back to my apartment scares the hell out of me (currently staying with my mom). That was my happy place and now I’m terrified of it. Just before this all happened I remember sitting in my living room and feeling a little sad about the fact that Ive never had a girlfriend but happy that I had a good home with everything I could possibly want and I hade made so much progress with my anxiety and depression. Just needed to work on my self esteem. 

Funny how all your good feelings can come undone in a split second.  My happy place is no longer my happy place and I feel more alone than ever before.