I've been with my partner for almost 2 years and he's amazing. He's amazing in absolutely every way, checks in with me constantly, asks if I've gotten home safely, has been patient with me during my episodes.

He warned me that he knew if I didn't get therapy soon that it would keep wearing him down. What did I do? Nothing. I was cocky in thinking that I wasn't unwell at all, and that he would be supportive with me always. Now he's genuinely considering breaking up just because it's getting all too much for him. 

99% of my days I spend sad, and take it out on him. I don't name call, but it's more like I'll just dissapear or reply short to his texts, leaving him to believe that he's a bad person and that I'm mad at him. I've only just realised that this is incredibly manipulative. I look to him to cheer me up and pull me out of my depression and obviously he can't do that as he's not a therapist. I haven't realised the extent of pressure I've put on this poor poor man over these years.

I'm going back to therapy next month but I'm angry at myself for not going sooner.

I'm at work at the moment which is client-facing, I'm so stressed out at the moment I keep tearing up in front of clients and being incredibly forgetful. I'm barely eating or drinking, it's just all hit me about how terrible and shitty I've been. 

Any one got any words of wisdom or comfort? 

&amp;#x200B;

tl;dr didn't get therapy when I should have, partner &amp; FP of 2 years considering breaking up, don't know if damage is reversible