It’s just another thing after another. I can’t deal with this anymore. 
I quit my job. It was customer service/social media based because I’m not able to hold down a physical in person full time job anymore. So i started working for my friend. It would’ve been fine if i didn’t have this fucking disorder. This is the most suicidal I’ve ever been. I’ll never attempt anything though. My home life is a wreck. I just moved in with my partner of 5/6 years recently and because of this god awful disorder, it’s ruining my relationship as well because he doesn’t understand it. Im afraid I’ll push him over the edge that he’ll want me to move out and I’ll be homeless. 
I’m also sure i have undiagnosed adhd because trying to get my school work done is absolutely the hardest thing ever. I used to be a straight A student, always completing the work early and now I can’t function like a regular human. I’m struggling to eat regular meals and have to get high out of my mind just to get hungry. I have zero hobbies or things that can even entertain me anymore. I’m chronically bored. But i just can’t get myself to try. To get better. I just rather be dead lol. 
I feel like a failure and waste of space and now I’m not sure how I’m going to pay my bills. I’m just fucked lol.