Basically, for about 9 months, many of my symptoms have been in remission and I've been using dbt skills to cope and improving my interpersonal connections and emotional regulation, to the point where I could function mildly. It even got to talks about removing my diagnosis because of my progress! 

My anxiety and depression started returning severely about 6 months ago but everything other than that was still stable.
Got put on medication a while back which was helping improve a little. But about 3 weeks ago, I suddenly stopped my medications (not my fault, Pharmacy messed up and then mental health service still hasnt resolved it for me) and I've noticed I've become very clingy and developed a favourite person again, which I hadn't had for a while. I'm a bit obsessive with them and although I'm still maintain good interpersonal communication with them, things have become a bit rocky. But now to avoid losing them, I'm internalising everything, like the desire to constantly message them and want to go see them but I know it will ruin the friendship. I'm not really having mood swings, everything just feels like despair and mildly suicidal (not actively). I feel lonely a lot and see everything as pointless and bad. All black no white or gray. I'm kind of stuck in the opposite of emotional mind. Just focused on facts that are actually not true but I believe them to be.
When I found out my fp was dating someone, I felt like I was going to die. It was so awful, I hadn't felt like that in ages, so it was really intense. It used to be a common occurrence to feel like that. I'm using binge eating food a lot to cope again, and other forms of self harm, which I had been trying so hard to use better coping mechanisms. 

But I can't figure out if it's because of the sudden stop in medication that might have triggered an imbalance and reimmurgence again, or whether it's my depression. Is it both?

I don't know what to do, I'm tryi g to use my skills but I'm finding myself in a crisis nearly everyday. My community team are useless and I'm currently waiting for an autism assessment before I can go back to any type of therapy. I'm doing self care everyday and making things to distract myself but I just feel hopeless. I don't want my life to become a place where I ruin everything again. This time it's more self defeating than outbursts etc

Not asking for diagnosis, just if anyone has had a similar experience or any ideas.