this is my first breakup (almost four years) where i don’t feel unbearable grief. i feel nothing. 

i suspect this is because my partner didn’t do anything “wrong” if that makes sense; i didn’t get cheated on this time, and i was the one to break it off. 

everything feels suspiciously normal. we are still living together, and nothing has really changed besides sleeping separately. 

honestly, it feels like there’s nothing to grieve. and my partner hasn’t shown much post-breakup emotion either. i don’t feel much of anything even if i want to.