i dont know  what is left. i dont know where to go or what to do. i want to kill myself. thats not true. i want to live a life that is fulfilling and i want to improve the world because it is so incomprehensibly terrible and awful. i need help but the first therapists was thru my dads work insurance and it was online and i just stopped doing it because i dont think my therapist knew my name. now he gave me another therapist but hes not available until next week. i dont want to go back to school in the fall because i will want to kill myself there but i cant stay home because i will want to kill myself even more. i dont know what to type any more.