I work full time as a carer every evening and once every other day from daytime. I like the day inbetween where I have the day to myself to possibly be able to get the little meagre things done on my list. I still find this a struggle and don’t think there’s enough time in the day. I wanted to get a 2 day a week job for 8 hours to make the most but this job I’m having a trial at today starts at 7. I never actually calculated how long 8 hours would be, like I said not enough hours in the day. Which means getting up at 5/5:30 minimum so I’m not late coz I always am til half 4. Plus waking up in the dark makes me feel shitty and being tired generally makes me fragile. I like waking up by the sun or naturally not by alarm and although the work of this job is something I’d enjoy they said ideally they would want me to work 3/4 days and the time I have to be up by now is killing me the thought of it. It feels unnatural. I think they should hire someone more able to work their hours. 

I don’t need to work as I’m 19 live with my parents but it’s something I feel like I have to do, and I feel pathetic about the fact I can’t even muster up the courage to do so and guilty about letting them down before I’ve even started. I’m teary rn and I just want to go back to bed. Any advice? What shall I say to them?