I'm just rambling but I feel incredibly alien in this world. Like I honestly can't handle the idea of being here for years and years. I just feel so out of touch. The positive things well that's what I'm told. Just seem like chores. When in reality I don't want any of this. I honestly just wish i would never wake up. I know how pathetic that sounds. Everyday feels so draining. I just even with therapy or finding coping mechanisms. It feels like it will be for nothing. I already lost what I consider everything.  Now what? Sorry to ramble.