I'm 25 yr old female and for 4 years I was in an abusive relationship with a psychopath. As I absorbed all the info about what I went through and the person I was with, I started to question that maybe I wasn't all that mentally healthy either. 

I've gone from blaming it on daddy issues, to now recovering from abuse, or ptsd in a way....to maybe I've kind of always had my own issues too. 

I've tried to read up on bpd, but to be honest it crosses over a lot with other conditions that it's hard for me to really grasp the concept. The only solid reason I believe I may have bpd is because I read this book called "Psychopath Free" and in the final pages it describes cluster b personalities, including bpd. I related to just about every bullet point.

Basically I go through episodes, they can vary from a few days to just a few hours. I get upset over the very slightest thing, and my complete mood changes. I almost go numb, there's almost no reversing it until I've gone through my little mood and then just like that I can go back to being happy, laughing with friends a couple hours later. 

It's like I almost put myself in these moods, because sometimes there's really no logical reason. Like today, I was in class with my current boyfriend(way better than my ex, so I feel bad if my issues end up tainting our relationship, which is the reason I'm reaching out for advice) and there's this girl that always turns around and looks at him and as he said something today, she replied out to him and like agreeing with him. It bothered me so much that I went completely silent, gave him the cold shoulder and dissociated. 

I know this isn't normal, but no matter how much I tell my brain I still go into a mood whether I want to or not. It's so hard to pull myself out of it too.

This was just an example, there's other times where it's straight up irritability and I lash out or cuss and get very angry over something minor. It's only with people I'm very close to or don't know at all. So I've never had too many problems at work and never lost a job over it. Most people don't know about my horrible moods.

Before I try to self diagnosis or go to therapy for help, I guess I'm just curious what other peoples definition of bpd is? Or what's your daily, weekly, etc mood? What do you deal with internally on the regular with bpd? I feel like I'm fighting a constant battle with myself.