....I don't miss him. Like, I thought I would. But I've been sending snaps to him as I normally do (knowing he can't open them for days though) and I don't feel any different. Which makes me think I'm just in this relationship because I enjoy having someone to talk *at* constantly. About myself. 

This relationship is such a new experience for me. We don't fight. He respects my boundaries. My ex was very volatile and reactive to everything I did and said, and with me being the same way, I was extremely prone to bpd "episodes" and erratic, dangerous behaviour. Nowadays, if it wasn't for the occasional episodes that happen with friends and coworkers I'd swear I didn't have bpd. I'm diagnosed but denial never goes away I guess. 

I don't really know what to do at this point? Like do I not have an attachment to my partner? I thought I was doing better. But I don't know if I can fix this. 

My ex was definitely a "FP"... current boyfriend not so much. If anything I'd say my boss fits that role. Which is definitely not healthy but that's irrelevant. 

Idk just 2 am thoughts

I don't know if I understand what love is anymore