Preface: I apologize if anything I say is offensive, as this is not my intent. Please let me know, so I can work towards a better understanding. 

I am trying to help my significant other cope with anxiety surrounding unplanned events. I’ve tried to convince them to see a therapist, but they refuse. And because I don’t understand how to help, it’s becoming a stressful situation for the both of us. 

My SO’s job has a very inconsistent schedule, where they often find out what they are doing last minute. Sometimes they show up to work and have to wait around for hours past the time the job was supposed to get done. They have built up so much anxiety surround finding out when they have to work that it’s making them feel sick and on the verge of a melt down. They are fixated on how long it’s going to take them to do something, or how long they will have to prepare, and always feeling like there is not enough time. 

It’s making them have poor performance at work because they have worked themselves up so much before starting their work that by the time it happens they have already checked out mentally.