i experienced something a few days ago that i dont want to talk about but im recognizing how my body reacts to things even though i would like to deny it. 

because its happened again. that thing i do where i go hermit mode. 

i finally am able recognize the pattern. i go ghost then i stay in this sort of state of perguatory where i sleep and numb out my feelings then i muster up the courage to go deep within then i find something in me that makes me happy to be a human being. i find power in my solitude and am inspired by my own capabilities and resilience. im not there yet but i see the light.

i was diagnosed with adjustment disorder with mixed anxiety and depressed mood a few months back and as much as i want to know how to fix it and heal that i know that i do know how i get through it. the only way out is through. 

always remember you are more resilient than you think