I'm having a very hard time lately with controlling my cravings to eat, especially with sugar. I know and understand all the things sugar does to your brain so it's understandable that I'm basically using it as a drug, but it feels like more than that. I'm literally putting this on par with trying to quit nicotine which was harder for me than any other substance I've ever used. Also that being said I've never been an "addict" just recreational items. But I was definitely a habitual nicotine user.

Anyway I've done some really amazing things with my life but now it seems like the only thing I get enjoyment from is eating. I really don't look forward to anything else. I have zero real motivation to go work out and I've gained close to 50lbs in 7-8 months. I feel really stuck in the bullshit rat race and all the things I used to enjoy seem to have just lost their luster. I'm only 38 with a very good Testosterone level and everything functions as it should but even sex isn't a big enough motivator for me to stop eating and to care about myself. 

I tend to hide from reality in video games when I'm not working. I don't have many friends in the area I live so I don't go out much when I'm free which I'm sure doesn't help. I just really wish I could find my purpose for wanting to continue. I really feel a lot of the time like I've done so much of what I was interested in that I really just don't care anymore.

 I don't know what else to say or what I'm looking for. Maybe someone will have a different perception that will really help me change my thought process. I guess I just needed to get this out of my head and to where anyone other just myself could understand what I'm feeling.