My whole life is spent trying to make it to the next day, doing anything to stop myself from committing suicide for the sake of my friends and adoptive family. We live below the poverty line and as I fall further in psychosis, the prospect of getting my own job is fading away. I can't afford treatment and I'm not a citizen so my monetary assistance was cut off long ago. Every second is painful. I'm so terribly ashamed of my condition and the state I'm in. Fuck BPD.