I am 21 years old and for as long as i remember i haven’t saw the bigger picture in things. Like in school not seeing the point in homework. Or even in graduating high school. I always thought about the big “american dream” in getting a job and working all your life and most of your weeks away just to retire when your 60 if lucky just to not even be able to enjoy it. I dont get it. I know money wouldnt buy happiness but i know it would take alot of my thoughts away. I guess im saying i would rather die than suffer my whole life. And i know alot of people would call it lazy or that im weak. Im 21 years old and at this point i really just feel like my brain is wired differently than everyone else. I cant do it anymore. I hope one day something flips and i see the better side of life but for all these years ive just been convincing myself that none of this is worth it.
The only thing keeping me here is my family. I want to just be normal.