Why is it that when I try to explain to my mother why I'm basically paralyzed because of depression, anxiety and obviously BPD, she tells me to "have a thicker skin"? Or just bombards me asking why I don't do things? Or why can't I do certain things? 

Everyday is a fucking struggle for me. Everyday I try to hold it together and not do something stupid that I'll regret. She insists that she "understands". She insists that she wants what's better for me. 

SO WHY DOES SHE DO THIS EVERY FUCKING TIME??? WHY DO I BOTHER IF MY ONLY BARRIER TO SELF DESTRUCTION DOESN'T EVEN TRY??? WHY DOES SHE MAKE IT WORSE EVERY FUCKING TIME??? I'M SO DONE WITH THIS SHIT. I HATE MYSELF. I HATE THIS DISORDER. I HATE MY LIFE. EVERYTHING IS GARBAGE.