I could get so much out of my system if I could draw it how i wanted to. Kinda hard to when every time I try I constantly berate myself for not practicing enough (depression 100), for not being as good as others my age (or younger, that's even worse), and just being a complete pathetic failure. The only thing I'm even remotely decent at and I can hardly even work up the motivation to do it. It's not fun anymore, and it only amplifies the growing, all consuming void in my head. Epic.