I (18,M) only had genuine physical affection from my mother when I was 11. But now, I only live with my Dad and sister. He only gives me the brief side hug that barely means anything. My sister doesn't hug me whatsoever. I never had a girlfriend and no one in public actually hugs me even though people considers me likable (I guess?) And I'm a decently attractive and slim guy. I live in the US so it's not really common to see acts of physical affection unless it's between two partners. Especially with Covid and all that, it's less common. I feel so deprived of affection it actually feels like it hurts. I try to have hot showers to simulate warmth and hug pillows. But it all feels fruitless. I just really want a hug.