All hail these meds, 1 1/2 whiskeys later and im already drunk. I'm tired of this. I rip everything apart, no friends to speak of, my family is falling apart, no one cares enough to be there and listen. What keeps me going right now? I feel like theres nothing to look forward to, just years of misery and futility. Fuck the pain and the disappointment. Fuck this hopeless fight. I don't deserve any of the things I want.  I dont want to wake up tomorrow.