I know that the nature of the desire itself is very unhealthy, but I get easily resentful, empty, suicidal, whathaveyou . . . when I don't have another person through which I can live, a person that functions as an anchor for my muddled identity, a compass that tells me right from left. 

On the other hand, having a FP comes with its own panoply of problems and can dangerously magnify the negative feelings I experience when I am alone. But it still beats the shit out of having no one in my life.


