I've been struggling with some form of depression, suicidal thoughts on and off for round about 3 years now, and something really bothers me. This dead inside look in my eyes, that no matter what I do, how much I try to smile, it just persist. Whenever someone takes a picture of me or whatever, I look like I've compeletely given up on life and am ready to die. I just want to appear normal and not someone who should be worried about at all times.