hiiii

i’ve been on a posting rampage trying to figure out ways to genuinely make myself happier and more confident in my capabilities. so this will prob be long, i just need tips. 

i’d first like to start off by saying- i deep down know i am pretty, i know i am smart, and i know i am good person. the only thing i am confident in is that i am good hearted person who wants the best for everyone around me. 

i struggle with thinking i come off as weird. i was such a socially awkward kid growing up, i was completely unconfident. didn’t have many friends. high school came along, that changed. i had friends (still had the social anxiety and awkwardness at times) and i matured into a pretty and kind girl

appearance wise- all throughout high school girls would gush to me about how pretty i am and how i could get any guy i wanted and all that typical bullshit. i have good style, hygiene, everything that society just seems to adore. but i never felt that way. and i hate even saying all that i’m cringing just by putting this all into words. to this day i don’t feel that way. i could care less about pulling guys as i’ve been in a relationship with my wonderful bf for two years - but to this day i think of myself as weird,awkward, and spaced out. i also just hate being vain about myself. 

the confidence issue has also transferred to my career.  i am a freshman in college and i had gotten a logistics internship back in june. i genuinely felt like i wasnt enough for that company but then they ended up hiring me to do part time work, because they liked me. the thing that bothers me is that i have literal forms of validation right in front of me but i can never seem to register that i am on the right path or confident that i can do big things despite of my anxiety. my life is full of second guesses, i have 0 confidence in my work or school capabilities. 

for anyone who deep down knows their worth but had a hard time accepting it and appreciating it - how did you overcome this mental block? how did you gain some confidence and accept yourself for who you are?