I wish our depressive episodes were easier to deal with. I worry about the mania a lot more, but the mania I can at least throw pills at. Been getting out of bed more, but still not every day. I have so many dreams that my mind just sucks the life out of. 

I want to do my hobbies, and go outside, and get my degree, and work. I want to talk to my friends more than once a week. I want to cook and see the sun and breathe and play games and make art, and I can't do any of that.