It has been so turbulent going from one mental health professional to the next.

I’ve literally lost count of how many I’ve met with. Several of them have done shit to me that constitutes criminal negligence. I’m feeling now more than ever that I can’t be helped.

Drugs aren’t doing anything, therapy isn’t doing anything. I told all the adults in my life that I wasn’t ready to be an adult over a year ago. I begged to go to residential, because already i had been in therapy for 3 years and tried a few medications with things only getting worse. They ignored me, so now I’m turning 18 and going into college completely unprepared, and they’re all yelling at me because they’re “worried” I’m not going to be able to support myself. 

Only good thing in my life is my boyfriend and my lizard. And I’m afraid I’m going to become codependent if that keeps up. 

I typed out a whole long post, but it’s literally pages long and would probably get taken down.

I’m just so fucking scared.