hey folks,

I'm 21 with bpd.

I'm not sure how stuff works in the "progressive West", but in Eastern-Europe mentally ill people are still heavily stigmatized (especially if you live in the even less progressive country and not in a big city).

I have my diagnosis since I was 18 and I started taking meds around that time too (still on them). even tho I'm trying to be a real person and not just a bunch of symptoms, there are still times in life when someone asks you a question or you talk about something with someone and your honest answer/response would be "yeah I couldn't make it, I was hospitalized because I wanted to die that time" but instead I just say some bullsh- like "oh I don't really remember" or something like that. and I always feel bad because I'm lying and because I'm ashamed of myself.

I mean it's not like a huge problem but tbh after years it's really-REALLY tiring and awkward. even in my family it's like a taboo or something, my close family members know about the issues I had but that's all. I mean I don't want to talk about it all the time or anything like that, but I just don't want to lie all the time or act like my mental problems are non existent.

and when I think about my future, I can't really imagine that this problem will solve itself. moreover, getting older and getting to know more and more people just forces me to lie more over time.

people talk about their (and even their family members', friends'!!) health issues like it's a daily thing, but whenever mental health, suicide, depression comes up, it's just... awkward silence.

my question is... do you think being honest about these things could make me end up in a bad place? I don't want to brag about it, I don't want to talk about it all the time, I just want to answer questions honestly and not make up stories...