I'm 27 years old, I still live with my parents and I've never had a job. Since I was little my parents have always belittled me, that eventually made me a very insecure person. School was hard for me, I failed a lot and my parents weren't of any help, still I graduated. I didn't went to college but I tried to study different degrees but with not success (mostly, it weren't things that I really liked). That lead to my parents to keep bringing me down every time, they just want me to get a job and to get out of the house, but they don't understand that it's hard to get hired these days and that they're the main reason I'm depressed. It sucks because even after all those things I love them, we get along fine most of the days.... I help them all I can, and part of me hates that I can't help them economically.

I find myself useless, useless for this society and for my parents and for everyone. Everyday I find more and more hard to being "happy" because I don't see brightness in my future.

I have good friends, sure, but they will eventually go to live their own lives. I don't have a partner, it's been like 8 years since I had one. It's not like I suffer from it, I don't care tbh

Still, and even though all of that, this year I made a big change in my life and applied to a long distance degree (idk how is called in English sorry but like studying from home (?)).

It's also a degree I'm really fond of, I really like it and it's a big change for me, I already did the few first exams and all good

But there's always my parents constantly tearing me down and make me feel like I'm just wasting time. And it makes me wonder if I'm really am... What happens if this plans fails again... Im scared of it, of the realization that I'm in fact useless....


Sorry this was a mess of a post, I just find life ver difficult.... And I really hate myself.