i have an issue where no matter what I try to do myself, I will no doubt find a way to be envious of someone else that's doing it better. Its gotten to the point where it just ruins my hobbies because I feel so disheartened. Like I'm being poisoned by envy. Even with my friends and people who I care deeply about there's this small part of my brain that's angry at myself for not being able to amount to what they are, and bitter at myself for not being good enough. On top of that I'm completely self aware that these feelings are stupid and ridiculous and I should just be happy for them so there's an underlying layer of guilt as well. Just wondering if anyone else with BPD suffers from extreme envy and how they might try to cope with it.