 repost bc it used the wrong flair.

Long  time lurker, first time poster. My now ex partner/FP has issues of  their own. Without going into too much detail, he's battled pretty  serious depression most of his life. We started dating a while back  after meeting through some mutual friends and he very rapidly became my  FP. I knew it was infatuation but I fully trusted him. I didn't find  hidden meaning in his words. I didn't look for reasons why he hated me.  And for the most part, I didn't really experience any splitting with  him.

It was a huge development for  me because I thought, you know, maybe with time and patience I could  manage my BPD instead of my BPD managing me.

Well,  we were technically long distance as he lives about 3 hours away from  me. It wasn't that big of a deal, we took turns visiting each other and  doing stuff around our cities. So three weeks ago, he spontaneously  comes to visit me and everything is great. Well the next weekend he goes  away to his brother's wedding, and I surprisingly am patient. He was  busy, and I understood that. Well when he comes back, I can tell  something is off. We talk very briefly and then he goes off to hang out  with my friend's fiance who is he best friend. I don't think anything of  it until he never tells me goodnight. He always told me goodnight  before he went to bed.

Well over  the next couple weeks he progressively gets more and more distant until  he finally comes to me and says that he's not happy that I'm being  distant. And after some words between us, there's a kind of stalemate  where I said he was being distant and he said I was being distant. We  apologized and agreed to make more of an effort.

The  next couple of days seemed fine enough except that I still felt he was  slightly distant but I figured he was dealing with his own stuff and if  he wanted to tell me, he would and the only thing I could do was just  show that I was actively supporting him.

Well  this weekend, he was supposed to come visit, but yesterday texts me  that his dad decided to go on a last minute vacation despite knowing  that he was planning on going out of town for weeks and so he had to  house sit. That was fine. I was disappointed, but things happen and  plans change, so I offered to go visit him instead since we already both  took the time off work to spend time together. Well he basically told  me he didn't want me to come over and then proceeded to ignore me for  the next 12 hours.

I figured he  was busy because he had a thing with his friends that day so I let it  be, even though I was upset, because I didn't want to inconvenience him  (lol). Well finally 11 rolls around and I still haven't heard from him  so I sent him what I thought was the most civil and least petty message I  could letting him know that I was upset with him and I wanted to talk  the next day, but I hoped he had a good night. Well he never replied but  I could see he was online on discord so after about an hour and a half I  sent him a message there asking him to check his messages, and when he  didn't respond there I went to sleep for a bit until my cats woke me up.  Still nothing. So I called him, and he sent me to voicemail.

For  the sake of my mental well being, I told him I couldn't do it if he  wasn't going to talk to me and instead of saying anything productive he  said "well goodbye then" and when I told him what he was doing was  shitty he said "I know. just leave me alone."

I  know I was splitting when I sent the message, but I don't regret it. I  know that I need to do what's best for me at the end of the day, but I  still feel a huge loss because obviously he was still my FP.

TL;DR: my FP went on a trip and came back with a switch flipped and pushed me away and I'm not really sure how to handle it.