i'm 17F and i'm gonna start 12th grade this september. and ever since my vacation started, a day is never complete without worrying.

i keep worrying about the future and how i feel like i'm running out of time and how i feel like it's gonna be hard trying to catch up. i see other kids my age (or my ex classmates to be specific), doing their thing and it seems like they already got their life together. they have a great social life, they have their education already planned out ahead, and they're just enjoying life while also working so hard.

but me, i'm nothing compared to them. i have nothing to be proud of. i just spent my days playing games and drawing, heck i can't even be proud of my art because of how mediocre it is. i don't have irl friends, i don't know what i wanna do after 12th grade, i'm just here existing. i even suffer from &gt;!sh!&lt; and &gt;!ed!&lt; at the same time. i'm wasting my time being a worthless shit. 

i'm so scared of time passing because i still don't know what to do with life. i'm confused as heck and it feels like everyone already knows something that i don't. i'm turning 18 in january but i still feel like a helpless kid who doesn't have any knowledge or control of anything. i'm so scared of time being so fast. i'm scared of the future.