17M. So I show a lot of the symptoms for BPD, but am not diagnosed. One thing that I thought didn't fit me in terms of BPD diagnostic criteria was childhood trauma. I have always thought I had a good childhood.

I love my parents, and they love me. I understand this even more now that they are divorced (and my father remarried). And I have ample fond memories of my time with them separately. But they did fight *a lot* when they were married. Pretty much every memory I have of them together is of them yelling at each other. There were a few points where I was afraid the yelling would turn physical (it never did, thankfully). 

And when I started showing signs of mental illness as a child (I began verbally expressing my self hatred, hitting myself and scratching myself until I bled, and saying I wanted to kill myself), there were times when people around me would invalidate my struggles. My Dad would often scold me for being that way - i.e. "snap out of it, be tough, I'll give you something to cry about" etc. - , and during one of these scolding sessions my Mom heard and kicked him out of the house screaming that he was a heathen. My Mom would sometimes say the usual stuff, like "how can you be suicidal if so many people have it worse?" etc. etc. 

Then my beloved grandfather died suddenly around the time my parents separated. I was sitting in my living room with my Mom on a quiet evening, and she got a phone call. I remember it vividly: she bolted out of her seat, began crying, and told me and my sister to get in the car. We were going so fast that I was afraid we would die in a car accident. I was so stunned by the situation that I just sat there with a blank face as my sister and mom cried hysterically, as I heard my grandma on the phone say "I think he's dead!" He was. After this event, I've always been on guard for any sudden noise that evokes imagery of catastrophe. At many points, I've mistaken my Mom's distant laughter in the house for screaming, and I've bolted down the stairs to face something tragic. In school, I'll hear a book fall and get a sinking feeling for a brief moment that I'm about to have bullets in my skull. I'll hear a cheering crowd and think its screaming. I'll hear children squeal as they play in the distance and think they're dying horrifically. Sometimes I won't hear anything, and I'll just be sitting in the silence of my room at night thinking anxiously that an emergency will happen at any moment. 

I also had a pretty fucking mean teacher in 4th grade who fed my self-hatred by telling me I'm stupid. But that's less severe, obviously. 

So all of this stuff was unpleasant, but could any of it been traumatic? When I think of childhood trauma, I think of abuse, frequent death, etc. etc. I do show a lot of BPD symptoms and was wondering if any of this could have exacerbated its possible development. But I don't want to invalidate those who actually suffered trauma by suggesting my relatively normal childhood was traumatic in any way. Any thoughts?