Here is my story about medications.

About 7 years ago I had a mental breakdown, I had already been diagnosed with GAD and was becoming aware of my social anxiety, a bad relationship breakup left me bare and I snapped.

I came out on the other side needing medication, I hated the medications, they made me feel foggy and I gained a lot of weight (about 20 kilos). However, I wasn’t sad everyday and I could function, so that was a win for me.

I kept taking these medications (Lexapro) for about 6 years, and eventually started to taper them down because I felt okay and then only took 5mg.

However Lexapro gave me a total food obsession and constant carb craving and I wanted to lose weight. However, my therapist at the time (through BetterHelp and wasn’t a good fit for me) encouraged me to change to Wellbutrin to lose weight.

I didn’t know anything about this medication so I went and asked my psychiatrist for advice. My psychiatrist agreed and moved me to Wellbutrin immediately.

My god. This medication was NOT a fit for me. It made me a total wreck. Yes I wasn’t snacking but I was crying constantly and scared to get out of bed, and felt like I was running at 200km per hour.

In this time I changed back to my old therapist from the not-good Better Help one as she came back from Mar leave and she was really worried about me and didn’t know why a professional would put someone with bad anxiety on a stimulant.

I didn’t know it was a stimulant. I trusted my doctor.

I went back to the psychiatrist looking like a wreck and she said my dosage wasn’t high enough and tried to move me to 300.

I ended up having a crying anxiety attack and begged her to please take me off medication as a whole, I wanted to see what my brain was like by itself. I was sick of people giving me medication after medication.

She reluctantly agreed.

I have now been off all medications for 4-5 months (can’t remember exactly) and I feel so stable, so happy, and am managing my anxiety through diet, exercise, therapy, creative outlets and limiting alcohol etc.

I’m glad that I demanded my wishes and listened to my own brain. Sometimes I don’t trust it but this time it was right on the money.

Stay healthy friends and don’t underestimate good food, movement and a nice hobby, it really does help.