Flying a jet fighter is so challenging that pilots are routinely pushed into a state of cognitive overwhelm that produces a sense of detatchment called derealization. Fighter pilots constantly wear an oxygen mask. At the beginning of the pandemic, Tom bought a respirator mask fitted with N95 filters. When putting the respirator mask on, it felt so much like the oxygen mask he wore when flying fighters that the respirator triggered a feeling of derealization. Though Tom last flew a fighter in 1965, the association between overwhelm, derealization, and the mask was still active. 

Wearing the respirator mask continued to trigger a sense of derealization until Tom happened to tell a friend about it. After telling a friend about it, the mask no longer triggered derealization. 

This is an example of how powerful sharing an experience with a non-judgmental, accepting friend can be. The sharing of experience is, according to Allan Schore, the dynamic that effective therapy is based on. Researcher Stephen Porges discovered how the dynamic works: the face, voice quality, and touch/body-language of a non-judgmental person activates the calming parasympathetic nervous system.

Tom relates this story in a video at [https://youtu.be/DggGpP8O7yw](https://youtu.be/DggGpP8O7yw)