I’m struggling not to put a bullet in my head right now..so I need to get this off my chest.

It’s my own fault because I knew how she was but I thought with the right amount of love and attention I could change her anger, paranoia, and mistrust. I soothed her fears every time she thought I could abandon her. We fought nearly every week but like an idiot I went back because I hate being alone. Even manipulative emotionally explosive love was better than none.

How foolish. She’s also extremely narcissistic and can only love herself.  We’ve got into a major fight a week ago and haven’t talked at all during that time.  We were supposed to meet to talk but then I got stood up and just informed she’s out on a date with someone else. I don’t know how I’m gonna get through this.