Hello everyone,

Although I am not diagnosed with anxiety, I have displayed a certain set of characteristics that lean towards it. So today, I was in a pretty bad mood since morning, especially since I only had 4 hours of sleep and had to go to work at 5am. My brother picked me up in the evening, and I didn't say a word as I sat in the car. He put his hand around me in order to comfort me, but since I had my eyes closed, I didn't expect it. I slapped his hand away and then he "playfully" hit me. We sort of had a catfight, and I didn't think much of it. By the time we came home, he immediately complained to our mom that I "hit" him. I immediately got upset at that notion as it triggered something very uncomfortable within me. I felt like I was being tagged as the "abuser" when it wasn't even such a serious situation. Flash forward to the evening, and he starts joking with his friend in front of me that I'm a domestic abuser. His friend, who never even acknowledged my presence in the room, immediately started laughing. I tried to make a counter joke, but no one noticed it and carried on. Feeling like absolute crap, I went into the other room and started to panic because they probably thought I was an abuser. On instinct, I put my hands around my neck and wanted to strangle myself because I immediately felt self-loathing. My brother tauntingly called me back into the kitchen where his friend was still there, and I couldn't take it. I just wanted to hide myself from everyone, but the most dangerous person was myself. I could've done something horrible to myself if I didn't have the self control. How do I stop these sudden urges to just hit myself on the head and just die?