I’m 26 and always suspected something was wrong with me since I was 13/14. With my first love/bf in high school I was horrible with him. And he (poor thing) allowed it. At that age I sought therapy and my reasoning was “I don’t want to be like this as a mom” I was scared of being that way with children and as an adult. In hindsight my therapist never gave me the attention my case required. I think he had too big a caseload and I maybe came across as I didn’t have it that bad. I stayed with that same therapist until this past year when my insurance ran out. I ended up lashing on him saying how incompetent he was for stringing me along for so long without actually helping me ... that I had been telling him I thought I had BPD and yadayada. His ilexcuse was it was too early on to diagnose an adolescent for that. Now I just feel like,  what if he would’ve actually listened to me and I would’ve had the DBT from my early teens.  My baby is 11months now. Dealing/ managing with the hormones in conjunction with my personality fucking sucks. Makes me feel so low. Makes me begin to feel so much pity for myself. Mood swings are so cray that now when I feel uplifted and good - I have the realization that this is the one side of the pendulum and who knows how long I’ll be up before I come crashing down.  I’m mad that I no longer have therapy , now when me and my baby need it most for me.