I broke things up almost three years ago, I was acting on my fear that she will leave me. I’m still blaming myself for everything, I even cut myself after we broke up cause I was so so sorry for what I did but she didn’t want to deal with me anymore. I respect her choice so I isolated myself any avoid going to places she usually goes to. I couldn’t bare to see her and not talk to her, I felt like I was addicted. So after all this time I saw her a couple of times but from distance, I saw her on my birthday in the gym, she came and hugged me and wished me a happy birthday. I was so confused I didn’t know how to react!!! I wanted to hug her back and try to fix things up again but I when I apologized the first time I was harshly rejected. I didn’t know what to do. After two months from that I saw her three times and I treated her like a stranger cause I don’t know what to do. I still do love her so much but I don’t know if she wants to get back or idk!!! I’ve been feeling extremely overwhelmed cause all I wanted to do is to hug her and tell her how much I missed her. I’m deeply sorry.