It really takes up a lot of my energy to be able to find a way to always hate my surroundings and the people in my life. I then have to force myself to be a normal fucking person for a few hours when I’m around people which, you know, gets harder and harder to do everyday.

Literally everything in my life is exactly how I’d like it to be right now, and I’m filled with so much hatred and sadness constantly and I have to desperately try to bottle all that up, at least until I’m alone. God it’s awful.