cw: emotional abuse, but i don't go into much detail

this is my first post here. i have bipolar and likely also have bpd (starting to explore this with my psych), and i feel like i have lost sight of who i really am. i don't remember feeling like this forever necessarily, maybe i have always had a shakey sense of self and just didn't know how to label the issue, but basically it only started to get really bad in high school. i was in an extremely abusive friendship where i was subjected to pretty much every type of emotional abuse and i essentially became one person with my abusers.

every friendship i've had after that has suffered. when i find my more recent friends making observations about my personality ("you're kind of a quiet person", "you're funny", "you're a very serious person", "you're an extrovert", etc.) i don't identify with any of the things they describe me as, and i also find each person i'm around would describe me quite differently from everyone else. my last friendship that ended weirdly made me dig really deep and i just can't grasp who i actually am anymore.

does anyone have any coping skills or tips for this? does dbt cover this? what can i do to create a "self"??? i know this is a huge question but i just want to know how other people have dealt with this.