I was diagnosed a few months back. Got off my meds this week (Wellbutrin) as I was gaining significant weight. I’m not doing too bad, I think, off them. 

I went through a horrible break up six months ago. He was horrible and abusive, but I guess I was horrible too. We spent the weekend fighting via text. My ex is very mean spirited and tries to tear me apart for one reason or another. It rips me to shreds. For my own traumatic, messed up reasons, I’m struggling to let go. 

My new boyfriend is so sweet and understanding, and fine with me taking it very slowly. Anyways. I think I’ve been splitting on him. (Just learned about this term tonight). I get randomly so angry and then calm back down. 

When I get angry, I rip into my boyfriend. I’m so incredibly mean. I say anything and everything to make him feel small and like I’m going to leave him. It’s horrible. I usually come out of it pretty quickly following tears or an explanation that I’m just angry. But I hate it... he’s so kind and patient, he doesn’t deserve it. But I can’t stop. I feel the anger rise over me and I just say horrible things. And inside I’m trying hard to stop but I feel like a spectator... any thoughts? Suggestions? Liquor recommendations to drown my sorrows? (mostly a joke)