Last night I talked with my partner about my controlling behaviors. Neither of us are comfortable with this but it seems to be my first response due to infidelity from them in the past and abuse from my previous relationships.
This morning they stated that they are going to an event with a friend on Saturday and that the guy they cheated on me with might be there. The first thing I said was “don’t talk to them”. They feel as though this is controlling them because they feel that they need to talk to this person to act as a decent human being. I feel that being a decent human being would be them not talking to the guy that they cheated on me with. 

Is this controlling that I don’t want them talking to this person?
And if so, do you guys have any tactics that can stop me from projecting these controlling thoughts rather than having a proper conversation about it?