So my wife and I have been together almost 16 years. Married for 8. For the first 13 years or so, we were happy. She was happy go lucky, quirky and loving. Looking back she would tell white lies here and there (if the truth made her look bad) but nothing earth shattering. We never had a major blow out and she always would put others needs before her own feelings. 

She is adopted and I know that is a big hole for her never feeling close to her adoptive mother. She was always trying to fill in the pieces as her adoption was closed. 

About three years ago she became attached to a woman she worked with who she latched on to as a mother / sister. The major lies started. Revolving around everything. 

Last year she moved out and in with this person as she stated she wasn't happy and all she needed was her children (we have 3) and this woman who she considers her "family"

After I uncovered her lies and revealed them, her friend kicked her out and she came home broken. I took her for help the next day and she's been seeing a psychologist for the past year. 

She's had moments of rage and I felt as if I was walking on eggshells. Illogical thinking driving her emotions. We were in marriage counseling and it was mainly how to set boundaries with parents. Never really issues we were having.

She came out with claims of sexual abuse against her parents that I find hard to believe (and the stories got more elaborate) and she cut her parents off and stopped them from seeing our kids. 

We were close to my parents but she found out they were talking to her parents every now and then and instantly they were no longer trusted and she accused me of not standing up for her. 

I went away for a week on business and came home to TVs and children missing and location services off.  The next day I was hit with divorce papers claiming child neglect and she relocated to an undisclosed location for the safety of the children. 

I was able to get in court quickly and the children are now in my care and she sees them 3x a week for 2 hrs and every other weekend. 

The court order had a provision she could move back home but she interpreted that as just sleeping over when she had visitation so we put a stop to that. She claims everyone controlled her and I am the least controlling person ever. If anything I gave her too much control. 

She barely wants to talk to me because "I make her feel crazy" and really isn't talking to anyone. 

The place she relocated to is about a mile or two next to this "friend" who could care less about her but will visit our kids when she has them. My wife was manipulating my 7 year old to send this woman voice texts that weren't true like "mommy and daddy are fighting and I'm happy he is at work". 

I never called her crazy and never raised my voice. Only tried to love her and still do. I love the girl I knew for 13 years. 

I'm afraid her psychologist has missed a lot of this and empowered her thinking. 