Hey everyone,

I was recently given a diagnosis of BPD and at first, it shocked me. This all came about when I went to a new psych since I felt like my old one was just coasting along until retirement. The new doctor was far more up-to-date on mental health conditions and treatments. 

Looking at the symptoms all I can say is that it makes sense in hindsight. My friends and parents are in denial and keep on with the "you're successful, just be happy" rhetoric. I need to stop letting this bother me but it does.

So about me. I'm 37, live on the west coast of the US, am nonbinary, and have a masc-leaning nonbinary partner. He's poly and has another partner, I'm unsure if I am. I've accepted that I may stay monogamous but I'm poly-friendly and am perfectly fine with whatever time we're able to spend together, I think.

The problems that arise for me are related to feelings of overloading my FP (something I'm really trying to moderate but I've messed up in the past) and having these really intense feelings of jealousy and exclusion when he mentions things he and his other partner do together. I don't want to feel this way and am genuinely happy that he's happy (at least I think). We've been together for a few months, I told him I loved him last weekend, I'm worried he doesn't feel the same.

Their relationship is none of my business and I have no desire to butt in but how do you deal with these intense feelings of being excluded and the almost inverse reaction to seeing someone you love being happy with someone else?

These feelings have dominated so much of my life and I'm just sick of it. I want to feel like a normal complete person without having to rely on someone else for so much. Does any have recommendations for behavioral therapies the help regulate this? 

P.S. Sorry for the wall of text. I would have trimmed it down but I'm writing this on my break at work.