Soo for as long as I can remember I have been battling what is called persistent depressive disorder which is a form of chronic depression which basically means ever day I struggle to find a reason to keep living… well yesterday I saw someone kill themselves. I was going somewhere with my girlfriend and we saw a guy jump on the tracks in front of the train, we didn’t actually see it but we saw the train stop and the conductor leave the cab and go to the side and cry, TfL staff explained what happened, and I’ll I could think and feel was I wish that was me…. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to find a reason every day, it’s just getting tiring to just be unable to enjoy 1 day without daydreaming about a way to kill myself…. 

I wish I had the balls to have killed myself already… I’ve been to therapy and all and nothing helps… I wish it was easy to get a gun in England so I just end it…. I’m tired of life- I wanna quit