(Throwaway Account) I just thought I would vent to see if it helps. 

Every night the past 3ish years I get anxiety thinking about the passing of time. I turn 27 this year and I feel like my life is slowly draining away. I have a successful career, make good money and just met someone who makes me incredibly happy but I can't shake this anxiety. Every night, if I am alone, I start thinking of how I am going to die one day and it sends me into a spiral. I constantly have to keep my mind occupied or it almost always goes back to that. 

I can't watch older movies any longer because I end up thinking about all the actors/actresses that have died. I have nightmares alot about dying or someone close to me dying. I no longer drink or smoke weed because it sends me in a spiral even faster. I feel like the days are going by so fast and my time is slipping through my fingers, faster and faster. 

Today while watching TV I saw a harmless commercial for perfume and it reminded me of those carefree times I would stay up late at night watching cartoon reruns and being carefree. 

I have tried meditating, breathing exercises and just attempting to confront my own mortality but it won't stop. I have tried dozens of times to see a therapist but they are always booked out months in advance and I just give up. I feel like I am wasting away and don't know what to do. 

How can I stop this.