I feel like I'm in another depressive episode (I'm not sure what to call it). I got out of my previous episode because I had hope for a new medication and that my family knew how I felt finally but nothing has changed really. My suicidal thoughts before classified me at a moderate to severe suicide risk. My parents set up a safety plan for me and then never followed it. It's messed up but sometimes I wish someone would just send me to a mental hospital. It could be an escape with people who hopefully actually care about how I feel. I know that's probably not how it is but I can't help but think quite frequently if I should be in one. My thoughts are around again and I'm worried they're going to get very bad like they did before. I'm just wondering if I should just check myself in but I don't want to take a bed from someone who really needs it, and I want to avoid them just sending me home because it doesn't seem 'bad' enough to them (because I don't have a plan, etc.).