Every where my friend went he brought drama. It wasn't a constant string of drama but if you left him long enough he'd stir up trouble.

When things weren't bad they were great. He was one of the best friends I ever had and he was great. I loved talking with him, I loved playing games with him, he was just...great to be around. He had his flaws but he was my friend.

That's what made the choice to not talk to him so hard. I spent weeks thinking about it when he caused his last batch of trouble. It took me even longer to get the guts to actually say it to him.

After we quit talking I felt I had this hole in my heart. I missed him, I missed his role play character, I thought about him often.

We almost became friends again. I found he deleted a bunch of my stories and we started talking about it because I was pissed and he wanted to explain himself. We talked for hours and it was so hard. I haven't felt that horrible in ages because half of me desperately wanted him back but deep down I knew it wasn't right.

So I made myself go for a day or so then come back and explain why we couldn't talk anymore. He was calm and understanding which made it even harder.

I miss him. I can't tell anyone I know because they fucking hate him and they'd think I was stupid for believing he didn't delete my stories to hurt me or for giving him the time of day and talking things out.

I feel empty when I think about him. I find it hard to have any friends now because I hurt so much. I don't know how to be friends with anyone else.

I have no idea what I feel or think about any of this. All I know is I miss him.

I'm proud of myself for having the strength to walk away and to tell him again that no, I can't talk to him because he's not good for me, but the pride doesn't make it hurt any less.

Not looking for advice. Just wanted to get this off my chest. I don't know who else to tell about it.