I’m sure you all know where this post is leading to and yes, you are correct. Over the years my body dysmorphia has gotten me to a point where I genuinely don’t know what I look like anymore and every time I see myself in a picture as a whole I practically break down because it’s like, how can a person possibly look that disgusting and grotesque??? I’m trying to heal my relationship with food because it’s hard when all your obsessed with is food, but yeah every time  I think of how I was treated in my past I’m always back to the thought that maybe If I wasn’t so ugly I would be treated better by my family and I wouldn’t have all these issues I have now. In reality i know it’s ridiculous to think that people could have hated me just for the simple fact that I am ugly but that’s what my mind always resorts to in order to make me somehow feel better.