As I think about how I try to morph my personality to try and please people, it dawned on me that I only picked my college major because my roommate was doing it and I wanted to get closer to him. I never thought a second about engineering until he helped with me an English paper and I wrote it about transportation systems. And so when I had to pick my major, that’s what I did. And then I spent 7 years doing it and I hated my life so much that I got hospitalized a couple of times from the stress. And now I’m having to start over fresh, unemployed for half a year, and too depressed to wash my dishes more than a few times a year. 

Wow. I fucked up. 