Whenever my mental health got really bad, I used to always think to myself that "this is the worst it is ever going to get. I will get better one day when I'm older." This thought occurred when I was still very young probably around 13 or 14. and I get proven wrong every single year. 

I dont feel energetic anymore, or motivated to do anything. University havent even started but im doubting myself, feeling behind and burnt out. I cant even bear to go out for one day and do something that doesnt involve me slumping around in my room, so how am I supposed to handle all the social interactions and the workload? The way that I am drifting away from my friends as we move to different universities is really hard for me as well. I suddenly feel like I have no one, especially considering we werent that close in the first place anyway. 

There was way more I couldve written here. That was why I felt compelled to post anyway. But now I really dont want to try remembering. I feel tired but I cant sleep. I am a waste of life but I am too scared to die.