It's gone. Completely. No more self hate, no more sadness, no more hopelessness. No matter what happens, i cant be held down. I wanted to stop being sad for so long but it's like no one knows what the fuck to do but give bullshit articles that never fucking help. The advice on line doesn't help? no shit. I'm a little pissed about that. I found the answer and it's complicated (surprise, surprise) but its universal. Once i understood what was going on in my head, my life completely changed. 

When i describe how, few seem to understand or care. I feel like a dog that's seen a fucking rainbow and no one believes me. It's absolutely upsetting that this was nowhere to be found with millions of people suffering. The first part is understanding the origin of self hate which almost no one explains or, at least, does a shit job of it.

I'm here to explain how if anyone asks. (been on anit's , been to therapy, tried working out, tried being positive, attempted suicide, searched for answers for a decade. Nothing, until some obscure vid on youtube explained a thing. I'm so pissed the concept wasn't everywhere.)