What's wrong with me? 

I find no joy in life. Well, no long-lasting joy. Momentarily happiness is a rare occasion but it does happen, but I cannot remember the last time I was genuinely content with my life.

Its not even that I have nothing to live for. I do. I know I could be an important part of society, I know if I died many people would be upset, I know that many people care about me. But I still find myself not wanting to live. I'm just too tired to.

I used to self-harm, but now I'm too tired to. I used to feel incredibly upset about every inconvenience in my life, but now I'm too tired to. I'm just too tired to do anything, including being depressed. I feel like most of the time I'm just in this constant state of fatigue.

You know how some people describe feeling depressed to a dark cloud floating over your head? I feel like I'm the cloud myself. Or that the cloud is just blurring my vision since every colour around me has started to feel more bland than usual.

I tried to phrase my feelings properly but I apologise if these short paragraphs seem kind of messy, my thoughts aren't correlating a lot nowadays.