It's getting bad again. Like, really bad. It started with me just having a 'doomed mentality' and being hyper afraid of everything. Isolation, the whole nine. The pandemic was to blame for a lot of that, but now it's turned into something else. It's gotten to the point where I can't seem to get enough sleep. No matter how much I nap or rest, I still feel exhausted. My classes don't interest me in anymore, and no matter how much I enjoy what I do on my free time I can't help but feel like I'm not good enough for it.

Nothing matters, absolutely nothing. Everything feels pointless and I feel incapable of doing anything. 

I have a therapist appointment tomorrow, but I know it's not gonna help. The only thing I have to look forward to is gathering the courage to call in for my psychiatrist to prescribe me an SSRI. I hate medication, I've been on everything you could possibly think of. I was heavily dependent on valium for a short time when my anxiety was at an all time high, and I'm scared to get back into that. 

What do you guys do when you realize it's getting 'bad'?