I’ll just get straight into this, I’ve been incredibly anxious about how time is moving faster and how the years feel like they’re passing by.

Since last Sunday, when I realized I had three weeks(1/4 of my break) of Summer before I start my second year at a community college online, I’ve had this daunting feeling that time feels like it’s going by so quick.

I started thinking about all my regrets from the past few years, how I want to go back and change them but I can’t and instead I just burn through time and I’m just ruminating endlessly.

Thankfully, I’ve had my mom, my girlfriend, and a wonderfully close friend to lean on to for support. All of them essentially told me the same thing, as well as other different points. There is nothing I can do about the past, other than to just move on and focus on what I can do now.

I’m trying my best on that, to not focus on the past and the memories from it that feel not too long ago, but even with loving support, I fall back into the habit of pacing back and forth while ruminating, like right now.

I’m going to be 20 by the end of August, and I’m anxious about how it feels that the end of the year is coming in fast— even though five months is a long time.

I know it’s just all in my head, but I’m so quick to start thinking and worrying about the future and the past, which causes me to feel nauseous and terrible; am I just too weak and need to buckle up and deal with it over time or is it just that hard to push past this?