i failed. college has been so hard and i’ve never hated myself more or been more depressed. i feel so lost and alone and i don’t know how to cope with any of it. none of this feels worth it, i haven’t gone to work in weeks and showers are farther and farther apart. my room is worse than it’s ever been and i can’t bring myself to do anything that i know is supposed to make me feel better. i’m falling apart and my life is nothing like i thought it would be. i’m supposed to be having the time of my life and i can barely leave my bed. no one told me it was going to be like this. i’ve gone back to old habits and it feels like i’m dying on the inside. at this point anything that might help i’d be willing to hear, i can’t keep living like this.