I don't know where to start. 

I (M25) haven't lived at home for three years. I moved away for work three months before COVID hit and have moved twice since.. Since then I've been lonely af. The only people I was able to talk to really are people from work and some "friends" on Xbox. I more say "friends" on Xbox because I more just join the party myself and nobody kicks me out. Nobody outside of my family texts me. I'm lonely and maybe depressed. 

I haven't been make any friends because of COVID and even though COVID is gone, I haven't been able to do shit because I just moved again.

I've gone home several times since covid, but every time I've been back nobody really wants to chill with me. I'm going to be back home next week and I honestly think I'm just staying at my parents place and won't get up to anything.... I had friends before I left and now I feel like I have none. Like I said, nobody messages me or seems eager to hang out. 

I think the most apparent moment I don't have friends came yesterday. I had a plan with some friends to do a sports trip on in the fall. My one friend from my hometown was going to meet me there and then a couple of friends who live on the west coast were gonna drive down and we'd all see an NFL game. 

Unfortunately, my buddy who was going to do the trip with me lost his job (can't fault him for that). The friends who were going to drive down said "I think we're gonna go to a rave at the end of October." After they told me they'd be down for this trip. Keep in mind my flight has been booked for the last two weeks.

So now it looks like I'm going alone. I wanted to do this trip so I'm not solo. I've done four sports trips solos. They've all been fun, but when I'm alone at home all day, I'd like to see some people... 

The flights non refundable and I feel this is just the last straw. 

I don't think I have friends anymore. My weekends are filled with nothing even if I try to do stuff. Fuck this.