no matter where i am in life, how successful i am, or how healthy i am. there is nothing for me, nothing can make me happy. i really just want to die. the only place i want to be , is a child again with my father before i even knew of any evil. i’m so jealous of people who are happy and have loving families. i’m so tired. i picture myself in the future being successful and i cannot feel a shred of happiness. there is nothing for me. nothing. tonight is the first time i have really thought i would be better dead. i always think of suicide but tonight i really think it’s the best option. not trying to worry anyone because i could never go through with it anytime soon. but in the future i hope i do because i’ve had enough of this hell