WARNING! Trigger! 

When I was 17 (now I'm 27) a boy from the local soccer team wanted to bring me to a party by foot. We where both drunk and he started to kiss me and I didn't have a big problem with kissing, but he proceeds to put my hand in his jeans and I said no multiple times and he wouldn't stop putting my hand in there, so I just did it to him with my hands. and after that he brought me to the party (I didn't know the way) and a day later he lied to everyone that he "nailed" me and everyone even my best friend believed him more than me.  

I always thought it's my fault because I didn't punch him or something, I don't even know why, maybe because he was a part of the cool kids. But I noticed me being completely frozen in other situations, not even saying a word. 

So long story short my flatmate said that it's not only sexual assault, he says it's rape and honestly I don't know what to think or how to feel, I cried a lot yesterday, today is better.