I grew up in a somewhat small town that like many, was huge on high school athletics. Pretty much every boy was expected to play something or else they were treated as an outcast. As someone who is on the spectrum myself, I always wanted to fit in and not stick out like a sore thumb. I quickly learned sports was my niche and safe haven. With some training, my athletic ability shined, although having a Dad who was a college athlete probably didn’t hurt my cause. Starting in middle school, I begun playing multiple sports which quickly boosted my social skills and even turned me into a chick magnet. Life was great. 

Each year, my high school would hold a massive pep rally a month into the school year. The pep rallys were an all day thing that would feature multiple events. The biggest event of them all was the athletic competition. It’s an annual tradition that dates back to the 1920s! Hundreds of students (the high school itself has a student population of about 6000 because it’s the only high school within the county) would compete in multiple athletic activities and would be eliminated on one by one basis. 

I had won the competition during my freshman, sophomore, and junior year. In the long history of the event, I was the only student who had ever won three straight competitions. I was fully prepared to win a fourth straight and complete the ‘dynasty’. That being said, I was never underprepared for the battle ahead. 

As usual, I breezed through the competition early and comfortably secured my spot in the final round yet again. As I was advancing each time, I noticed two girls, one a junior and one a freshman, were making a deep run as well. They were clear underdogs as neither had an athletic body or build. After I advanced to the championship match, I watched to see who my challenger would be. It came down to a fellow senior guy, who I had actually defeated in the semi final a few years back, and the freshman girl, who had someone managed to stay alive up until that point. She shockingly won the round and advanced to face (and presumably lose) to me in the final. 

It wasn’t the first time I had faced a girl for the championship. I had beaten a girl for the title during my sophomore championship so I didn’t have any mental reservations about going easy on her. I was going for the kill shot as I always would. She was tall and lanky and posed no real threat to me off the naked eye. The final round, as usual, would consist of a basketball shootout, first to 10 points wins. Basketball was always my best sport and I felt as if they were almost gifting the championship to me. 

I took an early 6-0 lead but she ended up getting into a lucky hot streak and won 10-7. She defeated me and became the champion. I later found out that she had only entered the competition after her friend, an actual athlete, had begged her and some of their other friends to enter so she would have people to hang out with during the event. A girl who wasn’t even considering entering the tournament just a few days prior was lifting the trophy. I was denied of a fourth straight title. I vaguely remember congratulating her and getting a cold “Congrats on second place” in response from the new champion. I was in tears after I got away from the celebration/madness in the gym. 

I was beyond humiliated and went into a massive depression. I know that I deserved to be the one holding that trophy and seeing her hoist it up killed me. I so badly wanted that fourth trophy on my case with the other three. They looked out of place without it there. I still feel like it’s all a dream and that I’m going to wake up tomorrow and get that final trophy. 

The rest of my senior year remains a blur to me. I played shitty ball the rest of the year and ended up quitting sports altogether. To put even more salt in the wound, the same girl that defeated me would go on to win the competition in her 10th/11th/12th grade years. She got the dynasty that she denied me of. I remember feeling extremely nauseous when I learned of her fourth straight victory. 

I can’t help but to think what my life could have been if I had just beaten her in that high school competition 10 and a half years ago. I know it’s odd and most would find it silly but I just can’t seem to let go of the past when it comes to this one event. I know it’s unhealthy but I can’t help but think about it each night. I toss and turn thinking about all the what ifs and how this pain could have been prevented had I just won.