I'm violent I'm angry I'm suicidal I'm worthless my sister I picked myself and beautiful ex Gf are all I have and I don't deserve either that's why I desperately try to hold on To them they're all I  have irl they'll ibwant to wait till they're both financially ok cuz they will be fine I'm a dime a dozen man anyway I love them so much but I keep hurting them anyway by mistake I don't  like this crap life except for them and my brothers I hate everything else including basic human needs like breathing and eating I'm watching my favorite yashahime episode and I hardly feel anything and usually I feel lots. It's not good  but oh well I guess