I didn't like being made fun of I guess, and wanted to be respected, I didn't know how to do this and so I decided to just stop talking that much, if I don't talk much and act properly they wouldn't have a reason to laugh at me anymore, it was an easy solution. I ended up being less and less social, and so I ended up lonely. Because of this I realized, I have to gain knowledge, and a lot of it. Without knowledge I am nothing, no one is ever gonna care about me, I am not gonna be able to find a job because of my social anxiety, I will only be a burden to my family. Because of all those reasons I started studying more, and ended up becoming the best in my class.

I now am respected, my teachers think I am really clever and I am not being made fun of anymore, yet I feel like nothing of this matters. This is really funny, I wanted to be respected so much, but now I don't even remember who I truly am, how I used to think and feel, I only keep pretending, keep not talking, keep acting cool infront of everyone. I always feel stupid when I realize how much things there are that I don't know, because knowledge is everything that I have left at this point, there is nothing special about me, nothing unique, if I don't have knowledge and skills I am nothing.

My other classmates have grew up too, they are all so special, and they are all so close to each other. They speak, they play, they laugh. I on the other hand am always so serious, so I don't really think anyone likes me. I can feel that I am being treated differently, they don't hate me or anything, I think so at least. It may be because they respect me, or because they don't feel close to me, but they treat me differently, both my classmates and the teachers.