My boyfriend of over 2 years broke up with me last week. His reasons for doing so (that he desperately "needed to have sex with anyone that isn't [me]" and that he actively wanted to get away from me when we spent time together) were really hurtful, but I thought I had processed my pain for the most part. 

However, I think I'm spiralling. I can't tell who I am, what my goals are, what my future is. I don't even care about my future, and none of it feels real. I don't know if I'm really a real person, or if I ever was. I made a lot of mental progress during my relationship with him, but I feel now like I might as well have gone back in time for all I'm not eating and sleeping, as well as dissociating pretty badly. I'm just so lost, hopeless, and empty. I'm making haphazard suicide plans but then also applying for jobs, and also planning to run away and cut all my friends off and start again living in a different country???? I can't even tell what i'm going to do, which are my "real" impulses etc. Which I realise sounds so crazy and ridiculous. 

I've always always had some kind of romantic attachment going on, even if I wasn't officially in a relationship, I've always been in love with somebody (who was in love with me, but we weren't together because XYZ) and now I don't know how to function, like my whole self and future has been stolen from me. 

I'm just asking for any kind of help and support? Feeling desperate, don't want to do anything drastic/undo all of my progress 