In mid-July, I experienced my first panic attack. It came out of nowhere and for seemingly no reason. I was on a connecting flight going on vacation. I have flown many times throughout my life and love it. I had my air pods in and was preparing to fall asleep. Then, as the plane was being pushed back from the gates, I had this random sharp pain in my chest and it felt like I couldn't breathe. It took everything in me not to flag down a flight attendant to get them to stop the plane. The attack lasted the entire plane ride until we landed and I was able to get up and get moving. After it was over I went on my vacation and aside from two more mild panic attacks on the way home (because I couldn't stop thinking about the first attack) I had no issues. I thought for sure that was the end and that it was an isolated incident.

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Unfortunately, I was wrong. After being home for 3 days, I went into the office at work on Wednesday. About two hours into my shift, the random chest pain happened again and I once again felt like I could not breathe. This time, it didn't stop after an hour and I genuinely believed I was having a heart attack or something. I went to urgent care where they did blood work, an EKG, and a chest X-ray. Everything came back fine, though the chest X-Ray suggested I could have asthma. The doctor gave me a steroid and a rescue inhaler and sent me home. It took almost 11 hours after the attack started to stop fully. Over the next couple of days, I felt awful. My chest was inflamed from the hyperventilation (I assume), which made breathing painful, and the steroid didn't seem to do much if anything. 

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That Sunday, I started to feel shortness of breath again so I took the rescue inhaler. After it wasn't effective, my heart started pounding and my breathing got worse, prompting my partner to take me back to urgent care. My blood pressure was the highest I've ever seen and my pulse was over 100 bpm. The nurse had me breathe and I calmed down by the time the doctor came in 45 minutes later. He told me I was experiencing anxiety and gave me hydroxyzine (which I ended up not taking) after talking to me for less than 2 minutes. Over the next few days, I gradually felt a little better aside from a very inflamed rib cage (I'm assuming from the hyperventilation). Then, I got put on an antibiotic that caused a bought of insomnia that lasted almost 72 hours and during that time, my anxiety flared up again.

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Since then, I have been a mess. This whole experience has given me health anxiety. I don't recognize my body anymore. I don't get heart palpitations or a racing heartbeat anymore (in fact I don't really feel what's going on in my chest anymore), but I feel terrible all the time. I can't focus on anything like I did before and my body aches and cracks randomly (without pain). My hands have a slight tremor to them almost all the time and parts of my body will randomly feel numb. It's hard for me to think about anything other than what's going on with my body. Emotionally, I feel numb to pretty much anything positive. I'm going to a concert on Monday that I've been waiting for since pre-COVID and I don't feel an ounce of excitement. I recently moved to a new city so when I scheduled an appointment for a PCP I had to wait. I am hoping they will be able to get me in next week.

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Does anyone else get physical symptoms like I do without the fast heart rate/heart palpitations? I'm afraid that maybe what's going on with my body isn't just anxiety.