I don't know what to do anymore. My friends are going their own directions in their lives and I'm starting to find myself being left behind once again. I have nobody to talk to anymore. I'm beginning to feel a disconnection Ive never felt before. I don't know how to make new friends. I've tried dating but I feel hopeless because I always get dropped off the face of the earth like misunderstood burdon. I go to a job i hate but am numb to everyday. Then go to my apartment and just drink, listen to music, play guitar, walk around my neighborhood, and read books. I feel like I have more in common with dead people than anyone else. Im a huge introvert and am very shy, though you wouldnt think i was by my demeanor (atleast thats what ive been told). That actually hurt to have someone tell me that because nobody will ever see beyond my stonewall to see who i truly am. I have no one to share my existence with. Its like im invisible and so I feel like my death will be invisible. I haven't felt suicidal since highschool and those thoughts are kreeping up my spine. I don't think I would ever go through with it because I decided a long time ago that I'll die fighting. I just wish there was someone to orbit my existence. Someone to wrap their arms around me whenever I'm crying and assure me it'll be okay, because, I never do feel okay. 
