I have so much to appreciate in my life, I feel horrible about wanting to leave. I’ve lost family members to Covid who I would trade places with in a second. They were full of life and wanted to stay here. They had spouses and partners who miss them. Plans for the future, a desire to live to the future.

It’s not lost on me how much I have to be grateful for. Health, my family, my true friends, beautiful apartment, job I enjoy, independence, etc. 

I wish I could just give my life to someone more deserving. All I’m doing is hoping it ends soon.