Hi all, I have bipolar II and mild-ish? borderline and have had to make some huge life changes to accommodate myself. Lately I'm pretty stable on meds and lifestyle changes, so we're digging into things in therapy, and I'm having to do a lot of looking back on my life.

Basically, I think people have always been to tell that I'm different, odd, or off. Now, I'm smart, and I'm pretty sensitive to others' feelings; I can carry on a conversation, be empathetic, etc. I tend to overshare, so we've worked hard in therapy on respecting social boundaries, and I've gotten quite good! But the longer I am around someone, the less likely I am to "pass."

I don't have any real idea of what alerts them to my difference, but I've asked people who have known me my whole life and they've said, "Yeah, you've always been a little odd." When I ask for details or examples, they can't give me anything concrete.

So, now I'm feeling some social anxiety around it. I'm trying to figure out some spiritual issues and went to an interfaith service last weekend, but I found myself so afraid to talk to anyone for more than a few minutes, because I didn't want them to know something was wrong with me right off the bat!

I guess I'm just wanting to see if anyone else struggles with this knowledge that there's something weird about you, but you're not sure what. How do other people live with it?
