It's my second time trying to get sober. I relapsed 2 weeks ago and still want to continue so it's going better than last time. I've lost the people I hold closest to me, no matter what I do or how I try to help the people around me I always mess up somewhere and they end up hating me.

&amp;#x200B;

My ex and I had a pretty toxic relationship, looking back I still can't figure out who was worse or what exactly happened. We were supposed to try again but either I kept saying the wrong things or something just changed for them. Then the person I called my best friend blocked me, and won't tell me why. I wish I knew what I did, or how to fix it. I told them everything and now I don't have anybody close to that. I can't even figure out where I feel terrible from half the time anymore. The feeling comes and then all the memories come after. I just want to fix everything I did to wrong those 2 people. Nothing else really matters right now to me.