I’m starting to realize where my self hate/mega depressive episode of last year November - probably April came from.

I drank a lot. And I drank alone cuz I couldn’t afford to go out (really couldn’t afford to stay at home and do it either).

And I drank last night, hungover today and my mood has just been total trash. I did one productive thing today and spent the rest just... doing nothing important. The feeling reminds me of how I felt last year/earlier this year. 

So yeah... alcohol probably is best for me to avoid. This feeling is not great.