Hey y'all, I'd appreciate some outside perspective

So, my problem is I don't feel anything towards other people. Well, except fear, hate, annoyance and so on, you get what I mean.

But despite that, people would describe me as empathetic and kind. I make sure they do.
Even though it's emotionally draining and I sincerely do not care - I hug, I support, I listen, I pretend and I pretend...
Even when my best friend comes crying I do not care. Even find it annoying sometimes. But I do everything that I think will make me look like a good friend. 

I simply want everyone I come into contact with to have the highest opinion of me possible. What for? I don't know. I don't like them, I don't like anyone, really.

It's like I'm an alien, trying their best to blend in.
I feel sorry, I understand that my family and friends love me, but I am just not capable of returning that love. It just doesn't come naturally 


Oh, here's some details on me:
I am 23 years old, in college. I've been seeing psychologists, therapists and psychiatrists since I was 15
Had a bad experience overall, no one has ever really helped or understood me. Didn't even get diagnosed with anything, except for an offhand remark from one therapist who said I have panic anxiety but who know how serious she was. 

But I think I was just unlucky, have an appointment with a new doctor in a month

Any insight would be welcome, thank you.