Not sure if it's right sub but definitely related, here we go.  
M(22).I'm in useless uni degree leaving me a lot of free time, so I'm basically stuck in life in the circle of internet surfing since I wake up to when I go to sleep, social anxiety, worrying, overthinking, daydreaming, having regrets and so on. I don't want to die but don't want to live either.

My story: I was normal kid until changed schools(from primary to middle school), then my whole life changed, I started being bullied, I got addicted to League of Legends because I couldn't handle real life, started watching a lot of anime(mostly romances and slice of life to get to dream of experiences I won't ever have) lost all my friends, and maybe wouldn't be alive If I didn't get addicted, it was my life purpose at that time to hit top 1 challenger. 

Me having problems with peers developed so much anxiety that I hid the fact that I couldn't see on school board for around 2 years(short sighted) and almost failed class because I was afraid of being bullied even more for wearing glasses. I don't remember why I didn't think of contact lenses, probably didn't know they even existed.

After graduating and starting high school I started to wear glasses, unfortunately there were some guys from middle school in my class, and I was still the target of bullies but it wasn't as bad, managed to find friend, wouldn't spend much time with him after school as I was still grinding league of legends.

Only after graduating high school and taking gap year I started considering doing something else that playing 24/7, I was taking months of breaks few times from games trying some online businesses, tried one physical job but I quit because back was killing me wasn't on a good terms with my co workers, I couldn't move past social anxiety and basically sit quiet being a weirdo.

After gap year I went to uni I'm 1 and a half year in. First year was fully from home so my social anxiety fully kicked in second year as we wouldn't need to talk much during online classes. I did my farewell to league of legends and quit after hitting master on all my accounts and selling them. I have a lot of free time now and I'm wasting it all on surfing, self help content, tv shows, anime, little gaming, workout related content as I started to workout from home but it didn't change a thing. I have no motivation to do anything, no goals, no friends, trying to force myself to learn programming but I'm too lazy and have no strength to move past boredom. 

I'm so ashamed of myself and exploiting my parents but I can't find a way of really moving forward. I could accomplish so much in that time, but I just do nothing and question existence having no purpose. I would describe it as existential depression, as my social anxiety won't even let me go on therapy so I guess I can't be sure. I just can't find a way in this paradox called living.   
Wow, You basically know my whole life now. Finally after spending another new year celebration alone I got a courage to somewhat actively seek advice. Any tips?