My depression has been mounting and I don't know how much more I can take. I feel trapped in a marriage that I dont matter. I've done everything I can to be a good father and supply my family with everything. I can never voice how I feel, when I do there's always an excuse on why I feel that way. I've even moved my in laws in to take care of them. I've taken care of them for over 4 years and I can't take it anymore. I snapped and destroyed multiple pieces of furniture after I made my wife take the kids to leave. I dont want them to see me like this. I came stop feeling worthless and I'm starting to go back down the rabbit hole of deployment PTSD. No meds are working and I just want to get in my car and slam a tree doing 100mph with no seatbelt.