I woke up and started crying shortly after again. Been crying for hours. Been unemployed for about 6 months with a couple part time jobs in between I quit 2 weeks into. I've had interviews since but nothing has worked out. Every day I'm more and more depressed and less willing to try to get myself out of this depression hole. I'm just too tired. All I want to do is lay down or sleep. I don't have the willpower to take action anymore. After being unemployed for so long it feels like I know every single job on indeed and have applied to SO many jobs. Most of them for shitty retail positions that I never even got a call from. I used to work at a call center but I just can't do that anymore. I can't fake being happy or upbeat at this moment. I'm trying to find a second roomate with little success and I feel like I'm going to have to move back into my parents house. I can't even think about a job right now tbh because of how bad I've been feeling but even if I move back with my parents I still need money to pay for my car because I'm in a lease contract... So either way I'm fucked. I can't take a break and I desperately need one, even though I've been jobless for this long I've been so fucking depressed that it definitely didn't feel like a break. Suicide looking like a good option right now but I have pets and it's probably the only thing keeping me on this planet anymore. I know it's a mindset but I can't. Change. It. I don't have anyone to talk to, I even texted my ex because I felt like I needed to say something to someone. Reach out before I do something. I don't think he'll text me back though and I don't blame him. I don't want to talk to my mom because I have nothing positive to say and I don't want to bring her down. This is why people kill themselves. I want to die.