Even in the midst of rage, there’s extreme sadness and an overwhelming feeling with how much i h8 myself, ppl and life most times. I h8 how intense my reactions can b, i h8 how hot/cold i can get.. w the ones i love the most and even w myself. &amp; i h8 to sound so depressing, but it’s literally how i feel. I truly wish i wasn’t programmed this way &amp; it sucks that you go your whole life without having insight that your mood swings are extreme to the point it’s a disorder, its almost shocking…. If that’s the right word, when you actually get the diagnosis. It sucks to realize that you’ve BEEN this way for your entire life damn near and to reflect and compare you’re life/relationships to what the diagnosis means is depressing af. I try my hardest to project good energy and positive vibes EVN if doing so is taking all of my energy. I get insecure when my moodiness starts to show and i guess that’s why my reactions may come off as “victim”y