i don’t even know where to start. i feel as if there is no reason to live but i have never truly wanted to commit. i just don’t get the point. i feel as if people give meaning to things that in the end serve us no purpose because we are all going to die anyways. what’s the point of anything if we are all going to die anyways? i mean at this point i should just be dead because i’m not living. 

i feel like my depression derives from having no purpose in life. i have things i enjoy and i have fun with friends but at the end of the day everything i do is pointless. there are so many things in life telling me “what is right” and “what is wrong” (specifically regarding to myself as a person/health) and i can’t ever make decisions for myself because in reality i don’t know what’s best for me/who to believe. 

i really don’t know if any of this made sense but it is just a start to what is going on in my head.