My bf(m28) and I(f24) are taking time apart. He thinks its best for our growth and that it will eventually make us that much closer. I asked him to see me last night and he said no.
I need him right now and feel so fucking lost. 
I started drinking alone and smoking weed again to numb the pain so I wont call him and bother him.

He is out having fun and just left me in the worst time of my life. Nearly diagnosed and I feel like shit.
Will he leave me everytime I get sick? Will he move on without me? Will I ever be able to feel safe with him again? 

freaking the fuck out. 