I'm empty. Usually suicide is the only thing thats around in my head. Sometimes it isn't, I'm just existing then, I'm bored all the time, other than working, I spend my time at my computer which also bores me. Going outside bores me, playing games bores me, not even eating is exciting anymore since I lost my sense for smelling and tasting. Nothing cheers me up, it's all boring, I am boring. All I do is exist, I wish I was dead as I'm a waste of human anyway. I don't have any dreams or plans for my future, there is just nothing waiting for me in the future. Its just waiting until death claims me naturally. Maybe I wasn't as boring as I am if I went outside more often,  if I go outside, then with my friends but they have been ignoring me for quite some time and I don't want to be annoying by constantly asking them if they want to hang out. I can't find new friends myself either, it just feels wrong to go on festivals or to a bar. This is me just existing, it doesn't hurt like when I want to kill myself, it's just so damn boring.