My parents divorced when my siblings and I were pretty young and while it was more than amicable my father was still somewhat absent. My mom got remarried pretty soon after and we had to move all the way to the opposite end of the state. Meanwhile there was no father figure at home because my stepdad was evil. Throughout the rest of my childhood we would see my dad maybe once or twice a year, maybe less. I know that's a lot more than others may have gotten but I'm just sharing my experience. Now I'm 27(f) and my dad has remarried after all these years. I am very happy for him and his new wife but it's bitter sweet for me to see him interacting with her kids. They get to have him 24/7 and he can be there when they need him, whereas my brothers and I didn't even get to speak with him daily and now that I'm an adult I do take initiative but it's still not the way I feel it should be. My mom also didn't make it easy for us to see him and her excuse is that he always checked in on us by calling her and she just didn't realize how important it was for us to speak with him every time he called. She never once took us to visit him, he had to come to us and now I realize that my mom is to blame as well. Seeing him living in his home with his new happy family when my brothers and I didn't get that, knowing that he could have been there more but chose not to, really hurts. He has justifications but for 20 years I didn't get to have what I feel I needed. I feel robbed and I guess a bit jealous. I'm a grown ass woman, I know. I had a full meltdown driving back from his wedding. I feel like a kid all over again and I missed so much time with him that I'm still wanting his attention and presence more than someone else my age should probably be. One of my brothers is very sensitive about this too. I'm just venting because now I'm back at my apartment, alone with my thoughts and will most likely be triggered into another depressive episode. Can anyone relate? End rant.