I left a group chat for a game the other day because someone new joined and they were getting along so well with everybody else. Like it probably hasn't even been one day and they're already talking with the other members like they've known  each other for all their lives. I joined a month ago and yeah, they're friendly to me and they always help me with whatever I need in the game but I don't think we can have easy conversations like that y'know???

I'm seriously always bitter at people who can talk to anyone else so easily. I'm super awkward and boring and whenever a friend or group chat I'm in starts talking to those people I'm just thinking well fuck, they're gonna care about that person more than me now. They're all going to forget about me now. How could this one person be here for so little time and these guys already care about them way more than me? I should just stop talking to them now.

I don't know why I even bother to make new friends when someone way better than me is just going to show up anyway. And even after everything of course I end up hurting people by suddenly shutting them out...