We are incredibly intense people, far more than people without BPD. Our emotions run high, we are difficult, our neuroses endless. For a long time, this upset me. Every time somebody would leave, I would be devastated and happily skulk back to my metaphorical cave. 

But something has changed and I hope it is the first little bit of self worth. When someone leaves, or finds me too intense, I find pride in that. I feel smug at how powerful I am that other people can’t keep up with me. That I see the world in so many colours and feel so many depths that the average person will never be able to experience. 

As much as it hurts me when people leave, and lord knows it hurts like hell, it does bring me comfort that I have an inner power. That we all have an inner power.