Don't know if this is the right place to post.
Don't feel the need to live,I wouldn't,exactly kill myself,I just want to close my eyes and feel ok.
There is nothing and nobody to at least know I am not alone through this.Have never been a fan of affection,especially physical affection,but sometimes it hurts to not get a hug.Have recently turned 18 and it feels like I shouldn't have gotten to this point.Have always thought something would happen and I wouldn't make it out,but,unfortunately,I am shifty.The three people that might have come to my birthday ,couldn't come,my parents yelled at me,ended up drinking some alcohol and going to sleep.The future is uncertain and bleak,and I am exhausted.Can't think properly these days,my head feels like it's going to explode.At school is bleak,parents yell at me,the teacher that is supposed to prepare me for college also ressures me at me and it feels like I am useless.Have been told before,and although I don't hold onto what people day,I remember,and it does hurt a tad. I want to disappear and never be remembered.