Hi, 
I just need to put this somewhere. 
This academic year I started studying again, illustration. Something new and different and I always kinda dremt about it. It wasn't easy. I was the oldest (30yo) everyone is around 19. And I have no background whatsoever. I had to apply and they approved. 
The head of my department is also my teacher. 
I noticed from day one we weren't going to be friends. 
He loves boasting about his work when he was young. He had all these big words and stories, all my classmates were licking his feet. I just listenend and while working I asked questions how to do stuff etc. I think he didn't like me being not at his feet and having formed An identity. 
He never seemed interested in any of my work, always waved me away, and when he asks in personal meetings 'how i was coping with the lockdown or how things were' he was just being 'polite' because he clearly never want to hear the answer. It sucked, but I kept going. 

Now yesterday was my final jury. It was super hot and I was the last of the day. He looked irritated from the start. He didn't like the first thing he saw and sortof decided the rest sucked anyways and didn't even properly look at it. 
He gave me some harsh feedback how my proces was not good and I listenened. But I asked how and I said I worked on it and tried and gave examples where I tried. But everytime I spoke and asked he just got more and more angry. Like I'm just supposed to shut up. He hated my work, but it was like I'm not even allowed to defend it? 
I'm not a 19yo with little life experience, I'm a critical person and learned to listen and ask questions. I don't say classmates aren't great and don't know anything, they do for sure! it just ís different when you are older, married, own a house, had jobs,... And my teacher clearly hates me for not being more 'moldable'. 
There were other jury members, but they just didn't speak or followed him, they are followers and agreed with him while in person they gave me entire different feedback! I felt pretty abandoned.
At some point I started crying, because clearly I didn't had a chance and didn't get one to start with. He looked almost thriumping. And then said 'well don't let it demotive you', after completly breaking down everything I did this year.
 And I worked to hard. 
The teacher can sack me and then this study will be over. 
This is my Future he is deciding about, and he is letting his subjectieve feels interfering over it. 
There's nothing I can do since he's head, and clearly doesn't listen to what I say. 

I worked to hard and now he broke my motivation. 
I just need some kindness or so, I'm so sad. 
Rant over?