I’ve been experiencing some new symptoms lately, like hallucinations and insomnia and I’ve generally felt like walking shit past month, but suddenly on Sunday morning, it all went away. As if someone deleted all of my mental problems overnight.

Even doing the smallest things gave me joy, which I already don’t experience on a normal day. My head was bustling with ideas, I got really into figure skating ( Valieva is incredible btw) and I wanted to start it as well, although tbh I’ve been thinking about it for some time now. 
I’ve felt as if I could achieve anything if I only put in enough work, and since at the time work gave me joy, it seemed like a perfect combo.

And then, today came around. And reality followed with it.

I haven’t felt so powerless and empty in probably a year. The thing that made me briefly come back to life was slowly escaping my body, and I could do nothing about it. Suddenly, the goal of learning how to skate and maybe even competing in something in eight years time seemed so pointless and naive, because I’m too old to start (16F). Everything looks gray again, I can’t find that passion for doing anything I had that past week. 

Now, I’m going to go cry my eyeballs out, but before I do, does anyone have an advice on how to make this “going back to reality” moment a bit more bearable?