This has really been happening for a while, but it's gotten much worse as of recently... I have this constant feeling of dread and I disassociate on the daily. I try to ground myself, I try to do deep breathing. But nothing helps and nothing can stop this horrible feeling I have. 

I have a *horrible* fear of death and that fear takes up a lot of my thoughts. I don't know how to quell the feeling, people try to comfort me but nothing helps. I have a constant fear that I'm not doing anything, or that I don't have much time left in life. I'm pretty sure I have PTSD (I'm not looking for any medical advice here!) from medical trauma I've gone through and I guess that might explain the feeling a bit.

Does anyone else feel this way and have any tips to help yourself feel "real" or not disassociate? Idk, I don't know what to do. It's overwhelming me, it's exhausting me. I just want to be able to live normally and enjoy the moment. :( Instead I'm always thinking of the past or the future... I want to think of the present. 

Every time it's a new year this feeling hits. I just hate thinking about the concept of time. It stresses me out so much.

I hope this is coherent... I'm really tired and so my thoughts might be a bit of a jumble. If you've read this, thank you and I appreciate you. I'll accept any advice you have!