i've run into some triggers that seem to not be going away any time soon so i'm in a near constant state of splitting. nothing feels real right now, i can't stop thinking about ending it. i'm at work and i'm trying to act normal around others but i don't think it's working, my superiors keep throwing stuff at me and it's so fucking overwhelming that i just want to walk out and quit everything but then i keep thinking of how mad everyone will be god FUCK

i'm untrained for this kind of stuff, i don't know how to calm down, and the only thing that works is complete disassociation the minute i think about literally anything else i feel like getting hit by a truck. what do i do?