Over awhile I’ve noticed a pattern I’m getting into and I’m starting to think I’m becoming a shit boyfriend that’s always sending mix signals which I know I do and I try to work on but it’s hard when I have intense mood swings of extreme happiness to extreme anger and sadness. I always have a great fear I’m a unintentional bad person so this just adds to the flames, basically the pattered is I go over to my girlfriends house we have a good time and it’s either she does something, says something and I take it the wrong way or I overthink and starting playing of scenarios of her cheating or leaving me. This leads to me having a mood swings and usually being bitter towards her and very just rude but not full on mean where I’m hurting her or swearing at her. When I notice that I’ve caused her a great deal of stress I just feel completely uncomfortable in my body and guilt all over me. It just makes me sad so I apologize over and over just trying to make her feel better by making her laugh. Most of the time if no all we end up cuddling and we both get over what happen but I feel like the more this happens the more it’s gonna affect our relationship cause we never talk about it afterwards we’ve brung it up but never gone in depth on it. I just wanna be a good boyfriend and by now I think what’s best is to either take a break and figure out how to deal with these swings, break up to save her the trouble and stop causing her stress or just try and talk to her about it. She’s said multiple times that she wouldn’t be where she was without me, she makes it clear that I’ve had a big impact on her life and that I’m the reason she is still alive and functioning like going to school and getting the help she needs. But even though she says that I’m always second guessing myself, am I manipulating her? Am I a good boyfriend? Do I truly love her or do I just wanna gain from her? I hate thinking those cause it makes me uncomfortable and due to this I try my damn best to treat her right, give her presents, buy her things, comfort her even if I’m in a very hatred mood towards her. My swings as of now are getting worse I am on medication and when I’m off it my swings are high but when I’m on it my swings are high. Anyways that’s just my venting if there’s any advice or criticisms I’m open to it all. 


(Sorry for any grammar errors I type fast and don’t pay any attention to my spelling) 