cw // mention of suicide, drug use, self harm

not intending to glorify drug use here, just a miracle to me at the moment. 

i’ve began taking about 5mg of delta 8 gummies every now and then to calm down and relax, and ever since then, i’ve been down to earth and having zero issues with my borderline. it’s so crazy to me, I’ve never done anything of the sort before and have always been super cautious of drugs bc my parents did drugs and my trauma resulted from that. 

I’m obviously worried about the possibility of dependence, but it’s like choosing between being calm and in control of my body for once or being out of control and sober and miserable.

two days ago I was suicidal on the edge of admitting myself to a hospital, cutting just to feel something again, and this is the first thing to help and I feel like it’s gonna be too good to be true. seeking advice from people who have been through this as well. :(