I went through a breakup a month ago and have been taking it really bad. I really miss him and I didn’t see it coming. We have mutual friends and I got really really unreasonably jealous about how they’re hanging out with him to help him out a lot more than they are with me. This friend, she knows the entire situation. She knows if I even just see him or something that reminds me of him I just fall apart and have a panic attack. She was hanging out with him yesterday and in her social I saw a glimpse of his favorite jacket. I knew immediately it was him because it was so worn down and such a Bright color that nobody would wear. I went from crying my eyes out devastated, to feeling betrayed, to feeling nothing but anger. I sent her some stuff I shouldn’t have and now I think I’ve burnt a bridge with a friend. And I realized I have these moments a lot. I used to have these with my ex. And it just makes sense. Something would happen, and id just get so upset by it, so hurt that I’d turn the tables and hurt him back. And I wonder if that was it. If this is what caused it all to end. Something I didn’t know I might have. 

I’ve apologized but I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me. I’ve just missed hanging out with my friends, the ones who said they’d support me bc he hasn’t been talking to them. I got jealous that they’re helping him, the one who ended it all instead of me, the one suffering from the end