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I never thought that I would make it to 18.

Then I never thought I'd make it to 21.

Then I never thought I'd make it to 30.

At forty I was amazed that i had not died yet from one of the many suicide attempts.

At 51 i tried again to do myself in. It was at that time I was diagnosed with BPD.

Now at 52, i sure wish I had made some plans for the "what if", i live to be 50, because i look back at the many lost opportunities that life had to offer, as where I let them slip by, because I was hiding a broken self in a cave of isolation.

Ps. What does DAE stand for?