I told her I was okay if she wanta to cuddle with her frienda but nothing sexual. The thing is she already admitted she wanted something sexual.

I'm not polly and can barely handle not freaking out 10 times a day over fantazied rejection.

She's fine with me not wanting to be more open and her communicating is good and supposed to be trustworthy but to me this is trigerring on its own.

I would understand if it would be a year into the relationship but it's been a month. If I'm not enough now what is it going to be after the honeymoon phase? 

She is being super unclear and guilty how she comes about it and it makes the entire thing worse. She's already been pushy about it and apologized this morning. 

I was holding it together pretty well until she validated that she was a dick. Now I can't blame myself for feeling wrong and I have to deal with this. I got triggered and did my best to explain how I felt.

I just want to leave before I lose a piece of myself again. And I have no way to know if I'm overreacting or alarmed by a red flag.

I guess I'm just looking for any short of direction instead of sabotaging everything. 

How would you feel about this? Wouldn't this be a reccuring trigger I should avoid either way? 

I'm so tired of being overwhelmed and confused all the time.