What now? 
I feel like my mental health is steadily declining even tho my life stabilized into something normalish. 
The other day I had my first -known- episode of derealization and hardly remember what happened all I know is I now have a broken windshield,  knuckle and social fires to stomp out. 

I'm in court mandated therapy because of a previous epsiode that was escalated by 211 and the police (which isn't an issue, bc I was already in therapy) 

I kind of just feel stuck, broken and unsure. 
I spent years burying these loud feelings and now it's just all too much and I don't know how to maintain my composure anymore.
"It's normal to feel" but not like this, it's awful. 

Just generally needed to vent 
Everyone I go to irl respond with "oh I have anxiety" and gets brushed under the rug.