I went from manic anxiety to a big ol bout of depression over this weekend and I just wanted like, nice human touch. Comfort. Some dopamine. Texted the guy I've been talking to and was gonna go over until I mentioned my midterm in the morning, to which he told me to study. He told me to come over tomorrow instead, so I'll get the validation eventually, but it's MY emotional security and I need it NOW!!! (Call jj Wentsworth 877 cash now)

I know I'm being self destructive. I know I should be studying. But that's not the point I'm literally seconds away from driving off a cliff or slitting my wrists I just need someone to show me affection right now I don't need someone nagging me. That kind of just makes me feel shittier about myself. I've been too distracted by the depression and apathy to focus on this class.i know what I should be doing. But I'm in pain and want relief. Kinda splitting on him now.