Me and my FP finally broke up, but she wants to be there for me until I recover because she's the only person I share anything with. The main reason that we broke up was because of my random swings and her not being to able to keep up with it for the last 5 months. I verbally abused her a lot and couldn't be there for her when she needed me. She still considers me her friend because she knows I'm not completely in control but she tells me that she can't be with me as a partner ever.   


I want to give her space, and I want us to stay friends till I get better and then have her see me as the person I used to be, I really want to win her back, but I want her to be with the person she deserves to be with. But I cant help myself, I've been trying to ruin every fleeting chance of her staying with me as a friend, I've told her 20 times that I'll give her space, but every time I say this, not 5 minutes later I say "please give me a 2nd chance". Which is wrong in every case,  till I get better she'll only get hurt, and by saying this I'm only pushing away the one person I don't want to push away but have been pushing away for months.

&amp;#x200B;

I honestly feel like blocking her just to save her for me, but I can't function without her. How do I not ruin another good thing I have?