I just want to vent but...bleh. Lately it feels like everywhere I turn, I'm reminded of this disorder I have. The other day my really good friend made a comment about people with BPD even though he knows I have it and it just made me feel gross and ashamed. Then yesterday I was helping a friend pack for college and I was looking through their bookshelf and they had a book about dealing with people who have BPD. They got it before they knew me but finding it and knowing they read it and knowing they know about my BPD made me feel awful too.

Lately I've been so depressed and caught up in knowing I'll have to deal with this forever and that the people close to me will have to deal with it forever. Even though I've been in therapy for years, I still feel like it's not enough, like I have to make up for the fact that I exist and got stuck with this stupid disorder.