I thought I’d have some sort of relief knowing there’s an answer to the way I treat myself and others, but nope. If anything, I think I feel worse? 

I know you’re not supposed to let your mental illness define you and yada yada yada, but how am I supposed to live with myself? How can I not let BPD define who I am when it has taken over my god damn life? I’ve ruined so many relationships because I can’t keep my emotions in check. 

I feel like the shell of a person who can’t do anything but watch herself destroy her own life.