Literally every time my fp apologizes to me for acting out of line or saying something mean or snapping at me, i completely reject it and tell them they don’t need to apologize to me because we both know that no matter what they do, i could never walk away and then i get so upset when they hurt me as if i don’t bring this on myself. like when they do apologize, i feel like i don’t deserve an apology because i was probably overreacting anyway yknow 

i hate having bpd so much