Do you also feel like it HURTS more than does good? There are some obviously horrible things that I wanted to change. Like my severe self harm.

But apart from that it's more like... "It would be good to change your binging! Your weed usage! Your social life!"... aaaand soooo ooooon. And it's so EXHAUTING!!! And it feels sofake and shitty!

Like god damn, just let me be a shitty person. At least I feel alive and not like a dead zombie trying to be perfect!!!

&amp;#x200B;

Currently high, binging and playing games without trying my best. Something that I didn't allow myself to do IN AGES.