My best friend recently left me because I was toxic. She said we could only be friends again if I got better. It’s been a month and I still can’t stop thinking about her. I can’t even take showers anymore because when I’m in the shower there’s nothing to distract me from my thoughts about how evil and toxic I am and how my best friend will never come back. Whenever I take a shower I end up having a break down and hurting myself. But I have to take showers to prove I can get better. I don’t know what to do. The worse part is my former friend has probably forgotten about me by now. I should just kill myself