back in july, my most intense relationship ended and it sent me into a bpd spiral. i did things i shouldn’t have, said things i shouldn’t have. i didn’t know how to forgive myself. i didn’t think i could, especially since i recognized i was doing things i shouldn’t as i was doing them.

i didn’t give myself time to heal. i started working 50+ hour weeks. didn’t give myself time to think about anything. in october, i lost my job, and it was the best thing to ever happen to me.

i spent most of my time alone. just me and my thoughts. i started to work again, but this time it was on myself. i didn’t go to therapy because a part of me knew i could do it on my own. and i did. i learned forgiveness. i accepted that he will never know or care about how sorry i am. i realized the only person i can truly apologize to is myself, and that the most important person i need to ask forgiveness from, is myself. and i forgive me.