I don't see the point of living. 


This is where you respond with all the cliches:


"People love you."


"You will be missed."


"There are so many experiences to have." Etcetera. 


It's all old. My entire life has been a waste. That's all bullshit. I'm just using up resources. I'm purposeless.


I'm begging for anything. I just turned 44/m. I've never been married. Never had kids. I'm creative and smart, I guess, but it's amounted to nothing. I'm not even some incel guy. I'm relatively attractive and smart. I've had relationships. 


I just t don't see the point of life. This is all meaningless. I'm so lost. All I do is hurt. I hurt and hurt and hurt. 


I just want a reason to be. 


I just want someone to think I'm important to them. And no, I'm not important to you, random person about to type "you matter to ME!" In some simple fashion. I'm not important to anyone. 


I'm just alone and broken. And every day I get closer to ending that. I don't understand why I'm this way. I wish I wasnt. But I am. 

Maybe my sole purpose is to be that person someone knows that killed themselves. That's a role, too.