Does this make sense? I have looked for help for so long, and I've fought a long hard battle with depression and anxiety. I've had little to no support, and I've reached the end of my resilience. My mom and friend have suggested therapy, but I don't know how to describe to them that I don't want help? I've finally settled into who I am and made peace with the idea that it won't get any better. I have nothing to lose, and I've snipped the strings that tied me down. I don't want to go to therapy, because I'm too scared of who I will be if I get better. Part of the reason is also because I have tried too hard for far too long with no results, and I don't have the energy to get back into the mindset of trying again. 
I don't know if it makes sense, does anyone else feel like this? I just want to go and disappear, I don't want to face any more of this. Therapy will require me to put in a lot of work and I think it is too late for that.