Hi hello hey 

I've been with my fiance for a year and a half. Over that time ive really Been able to work on my BPD and she has been super duper supportive. Most things have really tapered off or we have found ways t9 deal with them. 

But there is one thing that is still very frustrating, I think for both of us. 

I have 3 or 4 different careers/hobby interests. Different things I really like and want to do. But because of finances I can really only focus on one thing at a time. So picking something has really been a struggle. 

I'll start with one thing, and one problem with that is with one thing when I focus on that. I spend hours and hours researching, watching YouTube videos, reading Facebook and reddit posts obsessing over it and I get very excited. But it seams like very quickly I also switch interests and do the same thing there. Not that I lose interest in them, but I just can't pick my one thing and decide what I want to do. I can't seam to nail down this identity if you will. And it's just very very tiring and frustrating.

Most of my frenzy comes because I want so badly to make money and support my fiance and be able to help pay for things. I want to work and warn money. But because of my disability (legally blind it is very very hard. So I go back and fourth between these interests trying to find out which one I can start and be good at and make money with and it seams like it changes every week. And it's just so frustrating.