I'm unemployed, my SO is on a fixed income and we barely make it by. I have 7 neices &amp; nephews, sisters, brothers, their spouses &amp; parents to buy for and I feel like skum every Christmas not being able to give gifts like they do. I showed up last year empty handed.

 I'm glad we can all get together and spend the day together and the kids have other people that give them gifts. They're getting older though so it's hard to hide the fact none of their gifts came from me. I feel like it's part of the reason my older neice and nephew don't really care for me.

It makes me not even want to show up, I just feel so low. My parents say it's ok and not to worry about it but I do. I'm in my mid 30's and I feel like a damn infant. I look forward to being with my family but I don't look forward to the guilt tearing me apart, keeping me up at night.