I try so hard to do it all on my own. I spent all my life trying to make my parents proud of my for being independent, getting into good schools, going for medical school. But I’ve put myself through so much shit I don’t have the motivation to get up anymore.

I want to, I want to go skiing with you dad, I want to go have fun with you and be a good daughter for you. I want to make you happy. But it’s so hard to get up. I haven’t eaten in weeks. I expect so much out of myself that I can’t do anything.

I’m trying so hard to make it better but I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve tripled my antidepressants, I workout, I eat healthy, I buy plants, I surround myself with good friends, I don’t drink. I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t know what will help. 

I just want someone to pick me up and help me. It’s so hard doing it on my own. But there’s nothing anyone can do to help me. I don’t have the time, money, or resources to get therapy. Talking about my mental issues to friends and family make it worse because I feel like such a burden on them afterwards. Someone please help me.