My girlfriend left me, im the oldest son( lots of expectations, responsibilities), my studies, my mental health( depression, anxiety, insomnia, suicidal thoughts,) and family matters, basically everything got f**ked up in my life, im still young but i just wanna disappear, i dont have any guts to hurt myself but my mind is constantly thinking of ways everytime  im in a situation that is potentially dangerous. I want to cry but not a single drop of tear is even coming out. I could just stare at my ceiling and overthink, i cant sleep at all im even taking sleeping pills and stress suppressants, im having panic attacks everytime, breakdowns but i can't cry it out