My best friend helped me through a lot before my diagnosis, she helped me leave me my toxic ex move out of his parents house, go to court, get emancipated, move into my apartment at 17 we did everything and anything together. She also was my first real adult friend, my ex never let me have any and because I lived with him and my household was so unstable I just had to sit and listen to what he told me. She became my “therapist”. I would emotion dump, I could never leave her alone, I was literally lost without her. I think she was my favorite person after my ex and I broke up but because I wasn’t diagnosed at the time and I have a shit memory it’s hard to look back and like remember. Anyways it eventually caught up to her I was draining her emotional and mentally, she got into a relationship during that time and she needed time and personal space and I was basically just over bearing and too much for her. 
We had a falling out about 5 months ago. And decided it would be healthier for us to go our separate ways. 
I recently got diagnosed not long after that and it’s been so hard. I want to reach out to her but I’m scared, and I don’t think she’d want that but I don’t know if that’s just my mind telling me that. I’m just confused. I just want her to know why I acted the way I did. 
It’s always been hard for me to maintain relationships with men since my ex but this has made it even harder to maintain just basic friendships. I’m scared I’m going to end up acting the way I did with her or they’re just going to leave in general.