some background: he and i have been best friends and fps for about a year and a half now. I'm a quiet borderline and he's a regular borderline so things have been going pretty well because we both (thought) we finally found someone who loved us as much as we love them.   
well, he's been distant lately. and not the usual depression-induced distant, just a very genuine and scary distant despite being completely normal around other people- including his boyfriend.   
I'm upset, I'm tired, this isn't the first time he's done this. I've poured my heart and soul into this friendship, stayed up for days to keep him safe, bought him expensive gifts and did everything in my power to make sure he knows he's loved and adored. he never fucking returns the energy though, he'll preach about how much he loves me and how close we are and about how I'm so wonderful and then be SO quick to hang up on me to hang out with his boyfriend, it's vile. i hate it. i hate him. i can't leave him, i can't let him leave me.   


the worst part is i can't even talk to him about it, we promised each other wed communicate every small issue long ago, and when i actually try to he either tells me it's my own fault or he goes to drastic measures to keep me quiet about it- such as attempting suicide a night after i attempted (and didn't succeed because i had a panic attack) to tell him i needed him to be a little more caring and attentive to my needs. he doesn't fucking care, he keeps pretending he does but he doesn't. I'm tired of being used for the love and attention i give.