I have always had a decent amount of anxiety ever since I was like 5 years old.

It hasn't gotten bad until this year. I feel like anxiety just keeps towering on me and I don't know how to control it anymore.

Deep breaths don't work anymore because my chest hurts and just the thought of my chest hurting makes it hurt more. Me typing about my chest hurting is now also making it hurt again. 

Used to listen to music to help, but I feel like I've listened to so much music lately that I am numb to it, it no longer affects me. Actually, it makes me more anxious now listening to music because I get this feeling like I am forcing myself to turn it on just to help with my anxiety. Bruh I sound crazy.. 

Weekends used to cure my anxiety because I get a break from work for 2 days. I can sleep in and just chill. But, lately I no longer know what a "chill" life even means anymore. Weekends are actually more stressful than weekdays for me now because the entire time I am just thinking "I NEED to make the most out of this time I have before I go back to work again!!" And I end up just doing nothing because I am overthinking everything. Then, me doing nothing ends with me sleeping at like 5-6am just rolling around in bed regretting my whole day. 

Working out, specifically running, helped me a TON before with my anxiety. It was a literal life safer. However, now I get lost in my thoughts when I run. I used to be able to just focus on the run, and it would feel like all of my anxious thoughts would just be gone, but now I start overthinking a million things during the run, leading to me having basically a mini asthma attack and then I'd have to stop. Due to me being unable to work out, I have been losing my muscle and gaining fat..

I can go on and on, but I think you get the point. I am an absolute mess right now. it's come to a point where I have hives all over my upper body now every time I get overly anxious. I know it at least gets worse from my stress/anxiety because they flare up immediately when I feel anxious. My doctor also said its a form of stress hives. So now, I have another factor. I keep pressuring myself to "relax" so that these hives go away. But, forcing myself to relax doesn't really work, lol. Relaxing should come naturally, but i have no clue how to do it anymore.