I’m BPD (diagnosed back in the mid-2010s) and  in most areas of my life I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even really fit the symptom criteria anymore. I’m very thankful for that, and I’ve done a lot of work on myself to get here, but where my romantic relationships are concerned is where I still very much suffer from BPD, and I moved in with my partner almost a year ago and it has been very difficult. He’s autistic and a very critical and observant person, and over time I think his constant criticism and micromanaging have made my underlying fears and insecurities more or less skyrocket. Sometimes I get angry and want to tell him that he’s being unfair and ridiculous and that no one else says things like that to me, no one else says I’m disorganized and messy and careless, no one else treats me like a child. But then I remember all the times he has been correct in his observations and I just swallow my temper and tell him I will do my best to improve and take his notes. I’m exhausted and feel like I’m constantly managing my emotions to such an extent that it’s almost debilitating. I guess I’m just venting here, but I’m so tired of this shit. I’m almost 30 and I still feel like every reaction I have to someone else is probably wrong and needs to be thought through and processed and then presented in a socially acceptable way. I still don’t trust myself and my emotions even though I’ve grown so much and I’ve always been blessed with self-awareness and empathy. Idk. I just feel like absolute shit and I’m so done with all of this. This disorder and the others. It’s all weighing on me very badly.