I will never forgive myself for letting my bpd ruin my relationship with my ex, I can’t explain how much I loved him and I use to bend over backwards to be just perfect for him. But I wasn’t enough and it’s my fault I know it is. I love him so much I can’t begin to explain how much I miss him, I moved an entire country for him. But I know I wasn’t enough I hate myself so much sometimes and I hate myself even more for not being able to keep him around. My heart aches and I’m not sure if I can ever be in love again. And even if I can I can’t be in love with someone other than him. I really wish I wasn’t this way.