I just.
I don't know.
This has happened so many times already. Each time it happened I took the knowledge from what happened last time and tried to be better. I really thought I had it together this time. The highs were so high. 

The lows were too low.

I'm just tired of this happening again and again. Right now I'm thinking I'm probably never gonna let me trust this much or let a person get close to me ever again. Just so that at least I can save myself the trouble and other people will stop getting hurt. But I don't know if I'm strong enough to do that. 

All I know now is I'm going to spend the rest of my life thinking about the amazing person I just lost, just like the last 6 or 7 or 8 or however many people before. And the people that will come after.