With 'dropped out completely' I mean everything. Last manic episode shook everything, i lost my business/job, custody of my daughter, my flat, support of my family, gf, went bankrupt. 

Months have already passed, i am in the hospital right now and 'rehab' is coming to an end. I attempt to rebuild now, but honestly, it's so fucking hard to even start. I am 37, living with bipolar 1 was already difficult before, but i never fell so deep. I'll stay with friends first, but i need a flat and a job which is not easy to find when you're broke, jobless and down. I'm really scared to become homeless and I am fucking depressed. And broke naturally.

I really don't mean to rant, but I've never been in this situation before. So i was wondering if anyone of you experienced this? How did you manage? I also would be very interested in what it did to you as a person. I experience this as quite a transformation of myself and one of the greatest difficulties for me now is finding motivation to rebuild, because i don't recognise my life (and myself) anymore. So much went into the abyss, it's just.. depressing and bewildering.