I've been with my SO for about a year and a half and the thought of him having dated other women is so infuriating to me. I find this interesting because I've previously dated people who had many more serious exes than he does (I'm his first serious girlfriend) and even dated someone and *hung out with his ex-girlfriend* frequently. Sometimes it'd be just her and I, other times it was the three of us, but damn... I can't imagine doing that with this guy.

I keep picturing him having a blast with these girls and since he hates discussing exes, I'm unsure of exactly how accurate my mental images of these relationships are. For all I know they were dull and did the same things him and I do, but I'll never know. 

I feel unimportant and not as special as these other girls. My SO has financial burdens he didn't previously have and as a result we go on a date once a month in the form of going to a restaurant. He didn't have the same expenses back when he dated these girls so I'm picturing them at bars, five star restaurants, and being spontaneous. What's crazy is I didn't care about going out and partying before having these thoughts. Now I feel like I'm competing with girls from his past. It's exhausting. 

I keep telling myself I don't own him and whether he enjoyed himself with other girls is irrelevant because while they dated 4-6 weeks, he's been with me for almost two years.

Still upsetting, though. I'm splitting hard and telling myself different stories as to how/why he's not happy with me.