I just wanted to get this off my chest since I don't know where else to turn to. 

Do you ever get homesick? I'm in another city and I don't even know why I'm here. Probably because I was broken down because my last relationship ended. 

All I do is partying, drinking and doing drugs. And I'm not not even enjoying myself. Tried to go for a walk for a few hours but I'm just back in my room crying endlessly. Can't even find flight tickets back home earlier. 

I hate how my last relationship ended and I hate my mood swings. And I hate myself. I hate how I throw things around me and say things I don't mean. I hate how abusing I am. 

I just want someone to hug me and say it's ok. 