My friend was diagnosed with cancer and he is fine now thankfully, but now I have outstanding anxiety. 
I worry all day every day even when I'm not thinking about it. Constantly checking my body in every nook and cranny. I feel like I'm constantly sick and I cant tell if my symptoms are from anxiety or are real. I dont know what to do. I want to get tests but they all take too long to get. I have acid reflux and it has caused me to have food stuck in my throat. My doctor told me its probably GERD but i think it could be esophageal cancer. I'm getting an upper gi soon and I can't handle waiting. Its destroying me. I cant be around people without them being upset for me. Its changing my personality and I cant stop it. And I think the changing in my personality is a brain tumor. I woke up the last 2 nights in a row nervous with heart beating. I hope it's not a brain tumor that's waking me. Now I've got to call my doctor and ask for  CT scan.... this is so exhausting. I'm trying to finish my final semester of my university degree but I don't know if I can. I feel helpless. Cause if it isnt my anxiety and it truly is cancer than I dont know what I'm going to do. I talk to as many people as possible. I use crisis calls. But nothing works. So much that I wanna post here just to vent. I'm so scared and I dont even feel like myself. I feel empty.  I'm considering going on anti-depressants but I dont want the side effects to make me upset. All I want to do is lie in bed all day and sleep. I'm tired, I just dont know what to do. I cant enjoy my favorite things to do and I'm upsetting my family and friends. I'm not ready to die. I cant cope with it. I cant cope with disease. I cant cope with this overwhelming feeling. This is new to me over the last few months and it feels neverending. I love everybody around me and I don't want to stop loving them. 

If you made this far, thanks for reading. I dont have anxiety as bad as what the posts here talk about so I'm sorry if this offends some people. If you have anything to help cope, all is welcome.