it was awful there and i got yelled at whenever i started getting stressed, i caused some pretty bad scratches on my neck due to the levels of stress  
i was in for two weeks, got home thursday, had spent both christmas and new years there bc i overdosed on the 21st  
home is just as stressful as always, more so now, and i dont get to see my boyfriend as much despite the fact that he was the one that called the hospital and saved my life  
he had overdosed after the situation but was luckily fine bc he was blaming himself for the situation, it was just years of stuff coming crashing down on me and I HAD THROWN A KNIFE AT HIM THINKING HE WAS AN ENEMY  
i overdosed out of guilt then he called 911 and boom, hospilization for 7 hours then psyc ward  
idk how long i can do this and the only reason im alive is bc of my bf but i want to scream or tear my brain out or fucking something to get rid of this mental shit  


tl;dr: bunch of useless ranting about how i fucked up