I am in desperate need for some advice, or just what a normal person would do in this case.

I am so tired of OCD switching themes and the obsessions making sense to me. I tried being strong, doing exposures, but it only made it worse. I can't see a therapist rn and life is just hell. I just wanna give up.

I really needed help with this new obsession that started yesterday. My ocd is always about such gross things, that I cant talk about it to anyone. I absolutely hate this.

This is gonna be very tmi and i apologize in advance, but i genuinely really need help.

So i have contamination ocd, and its never been about germs, i just cant bear the contamination.

My stomach had been upset for a few days and yesterday, i didnt realise, but i had p much shit my pants. not too much. it was almost like a stain, but yes.

i hadnt realised that till i took a shower. and before my shower id masturbated using the heel of my foot, fully clothed (im a woman, this technique works for me so). i then proceeded to walk all around the house to keep my cup and get my clothes and stuff to get ready to shower.

as i said, i realised only when i removed my clothes while going to shower, i was absolutely disgusted, but id never had contamination issues with faeces. well ig until yesterday.

i was completely fine and then it hit me, my foot was in contact with that area for a long time through my clothes, and i ended up transferring that all over my house.

it would've been fine if id not masturbated, but i did, even though i could've avoided it, and now theres all this extra contamination all over the house.

the maid will mop the floor today, but she'll broom it before she mops, and the broom, everyone's flip flops that they wear in the house, and other objects, will have that extra contamination on them, which will keep transferring around in the house and it is almost impossible to clean everything.

and my house and all objects, furniture and basically everything in it will always have that extra contamination which isnt normally supposed to be there and isnt there anywhere other than my house. for example normal chairs are clean but mine will have that extra contamination on it that will transfer onto it when i sit on it, since the floor and eventually the rest of my house is contaminated. and its "extra" contamination because of the foot thing, it wouldve been a normal accident otherwise, but there was extra contamination on my foot due to the contact.

i really dont know what to do, and i do not know what a person without ocd would do in such a case because nobody masturbates using their heel when they pooped their pants without realising.

id appreciate any help, and i apologize if this was weirdly too detailed.