I've been fighting every single day to force myself to stay alive for 3 years, mostly for my little guy.


I want to know if there is something that I can do/send him to live out his life as I really don't trust anyone with him and don't have mates I trust either


I can't keep fighting this uphill battle. It's killing me more and more every day. 



The upsets only get worse and I just don't have the strength anymore.
I love my little guy more than life itself. The guild of knowing he will be miserable is what keeps me here but like I said, the upsets only get worse. I fell inlove like an idiot with who I'm pretty sure is my twin flame. we got along so fucking well and loved each other like crazy
Anyway he's working through repressed emotions from leaving his ex and trying to stop patterns repeating but now he's getting all dry in text and shit. I keep telling my self my ego tryna get in my head but he's doing his own thing in this time and feeling low processing it all. 
I've never felt this way about another human in my life. The idea of him just leaving after this. Honestly it just exhausts me to think about. I not only have to move on from this guy who I really started to love but I then have to live with the fact that I lost my person and I won't be able to replace him or the way I felt about him. He feels like the most comfortable, loving home. He made me motivated as hall, I got a job after not working for 5 years, I started working out eating better again
 Now I can barely get out of bed, I can eat (I've gone from 55kg to 45kg in less than a week) and all I can think about is how I just don't have this in me anymore. 

I don't know, it dosnt matter. I just want him to be okay when I no longer can remain okay myself