im at a total loss, and am honestly very tired. idk why i talk about how i feel, or share anything. it always turns into an argument or something negative. i really feel like im might be better off alone, so that my emotions and thoughts and feelings and reactions dont bother anyone. no matter what i do, no matter how much i tried to communicate in a healthy way, it always happens. no matter what changes i make, it always happens. ppl never remember what they do to me, or whats important to me. its like im just here. i feel like i dont mean much to anyone. and im really hating myself rn. im so fucking tired and i feel so unlovable. i cant even speak about a grievance without shit blowing up. i wish i didnt feel anything anymore.