i've been clean for 3 days now i periodically experience causeless fear and even if I myself began to perceive the world in a different wayi still don’t know why to live. at all.  absolutely.  what should i do tomorrow?  a week later?  who to work?  why work?  why wake up tomorrow?  it's a damn complicated thing that I can't explain.  Before, I just lived.  what has changed now?  I don’t have any sense or motivation, I can’t even explain my condition normally.  damn worthless.  I am guilty before the people who wrote me so many good words, I do not deserve it and do not justify the hopes at all.