Hello. This is sort of a request for suggestions for things to do, coupled with me asking if anyone else has found it really hard to find or commit to hobbies and interests with BPD? I'll explain.

Today I've been thinking a lot and I've realised that I really do waste a lot of my time. I over-think, update my diary in excess, and browse the same websites. I got quite worked up about life after hurting my finger on my desk and basically decided I'd like to find more stuff to do with my time.

So I've been trying to think of things to do. The problem is, the things I'd like to do, I know I won't have the patience for, or be able to commit to as much as I'd need to. Music production or learning an instrument, for example? I'd love to do it, but as I wouldn't be able to see the fruits of my effort for years, I just lose all interest and get frustrated.

It's a recurring problem. One of the things I do is writing about music, and when even one band doesn't share my article or whatever I can go off the interest for weeks because I feel it's a slight. I think this is partly tied in to BPD because I take it as an emotional insult.

So basically, I feel almost too unstable to do most stuff. So I spend my days kind of living in a shell, almost in a bubble where I just stick to what can't upset me and don't take any risks. I'm a talented young woman, but I just don't get to make the most of it because my emotions hold me back.

Has anyone else had problems with this? Did you find a way to fill your time, and what was it? (I've written off a lot of ideas already but suggestions might work I guess.) Is there a way to commit to something that could take a long time to see results, or get over frustration about something being a slow burn?

This post is probably disjointed, my head is in a weird place today. Thanks for any advice anyway.