He was a tinder hook up that became not just a hook up. He actually wants to see me often which is new for me. Previous boyfriends I've had it was me doing all the taking care of, I paid for everything, mentally supported them. It was always me, and once they left I've learned and pushed for taking care of myself.

I've recently gotten my BPD to calm down some and he been doing decent. He took me out to dinner rand then we hooked up at his place and that was supposed to be that. But he invited me over again so I complied. Then he wanted me to go to lunch with him. And idk he was so sweet and he held my hand and took me to look through antique shops and insisted on buying me socks lol.

Well its been a few weeks now and it was my birthday Friday. He took me out to play cornhole (lovee it) and bought all my drinks, the next night took me out again. But he got me a birthday present. I opened it and it was a black pearl (he knows I like necklaces and black lol) problem is he didnt realize they kept the price tag on and it was 1300 DOLLARS

I felt so guilty. I have to keep pushing to not sabotage this. I feel like I dont deserve to be taken care even though he explicitly told me to my place I should have someone take care of me.

I ruin everything, I dont want to ruin this. But its like my brain purposely picks apart shit he does to make me not like him :( how do I fix this?