Something that continues to plague me is the idea that I will (likely) be on a combination of medication to treat my mental illness for the rest of my life.

Full disclosure, I take a combination of Escitalopram (10mg), Trazodone (100mg), Vyvanse (20-30mg) and Suboxone (6mg) as a means to help treat Severe Dysthymia (which sounds like a contradiction in terms, but the sever comes from its very long term grip/borderline cyclothymia), Generalized Anxiety Disorder, C-PTSD and some question as to whether I have ADD or ADD like symptoms as a result of everything else. I’d say I do NOT have ADD, but I’m also not sure it matters for the purposes of this question/conversation.

Now, it’s taken time to arrive at this combination. And it is with this combination that I have found the more stability, though I would hardly consider myself effectively treated. It remains an unrelenting battle, but compared to what it’s been, this is most definitely the best combo to date.

I remember when I first started Escitalopram and was told it would be temporary, that most people didn’t stay on antidepressants. 

Today, with candid conversation with my doc, it is his opinion that discontinuation of anything in my current state isn’t advisable. I brought the conversation to him, and he hypothesized (and I ultimately agree) that perhaps the reason I feel like I could drop some or all my meds is BECAUSE of the stability they’ve offered.

But, thar’s FOUR drugs I take “just” to manage my mental health, which doesn’t speak to the other couple meds I take for other issues, meaning I am taking a total of SIX meds overall. 

And I’ve been in poor health. I need to make changes. Many of which are your garden variety changes. But I wonder how healthy one can be and what kind of homeostasis one’s body can find with so many drugs flowing through their system. 

It feels like we, patients and the system, don’t put enough consideration into long term side effects or consequences of these meds. Probably out of necessity on our part, but who is looking out for us?

Are we safe? Can we be healthy and happy or just “stable”. 

Or, do we put too much into the dangers/consequences of polypharmacy? Do we love to scare ourselves rather than embrace the good these meds are doing?

Lots of questions, no real insights, but would love to hear from the community :)