I have to have men. I like knowing that they have a crush on me. 
I like the chase. I wrote something the other day of how I was feeling after an old college flame from five years ago messaged me after many years. We stayed up till talking for hours and hours. Literally till maybe four in the morning. Over text.  

This is what I wrote in my journal entry -I felt pure ecstacy rushing through me.  Pure bliss. No pain in any bone of my body. I felt like a Lana del Rey song come to life. 
He messaged me again after many years. 
This is silly I'm getting so worked up. For what ? 

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Anyways it's getting out of hand. It's like I go through what I call a mini manic episode. Most of the time I'm sane and don't want or need these men to talk to me but once they're in my head in my mind I'm hooked. There's this family friend of a friend of mine anyways they're a lot older than me but they're of the opposite sex. Talk to me a lot and a lil flirty so automatically they're my next conquest. I can't help it. I want them to want me. It's an addiction. I'm not like this all the time and I don't know why I get like this. I'm 21 and female. Could it be just that or bpd or maybe an asshole.