I can't do it anymore. Things just don't go right ever. Ever ever. Everything that can go wrong will, whoever said that was a solutely right. I'm so drunk. I think I have bipolar maybe schizophrenia I dunno but I hear the people I love mocking me through the walls and the windows. I'm gonna walk to the beach and I dunno what from there but if I go back to my apt they'll see my drunk and kick me out then I'm really fucked. I just can't see how things get better anymore. All my optimism and hope is gone. It's over.