Ever since my child was born I’ve been in a downward spiral. I’ve been working myself to death to provide for my wife and kid. I mean some weeks I work 65-70 hour weeks and still do half he housework and for the last 3 years I’ve spent every spare second renovating our house so we can sell and get out of this shit neighbourhood we live in. 

Finally after saving really hard we could afford a house in a nice area. We managed to buy a house which seemed like a really good deal. Now we’re trying to sell our house and we just can’t. We’re not even getting any offers and we have dropped the price to $100k less than we bought it for but still nothing, the agent says that no one is wanting to buy. We looked at renting it out but the income wouldn’t be enough to sustain us long term. We are burning through our savings really quickly.

I feel like a idiot for wanting a better life for my family and like a complete failure. I can’t look at myself in the mirror and go “out to the shops” but just drive round the block and sit and cry in the car. Lately I’ve started hitting myself, I suppose as a punishment for being so useless.

I have a life insurance policy which will cover in the event of suicide and have started making plans. The money will be enough to clear all the debt we have and set them up for life and have enough left over that my kid can got to university.

I feel like this is all I have left to offer them.