Been a long time since I've posted something myself. 
But today I had a panic attack for something so stupid that I'm quite depressed about. 
I have a long history of panic attacks, since a few months I took 50mg paroxetine (SSRI) but things weren't looking good. I'm a freelancer and needed to change projects and attacks kept coming.
So I went back to my psychiatrist and he recommended to switch over to voroxetine (brintellix) and stop with the other one quite cold turkey (directly down to 30 and over 2 weeks nothing anymore), this resulted in massive side effects and with the brintellix the side effects were even worse. So after a month and a half i called the psychiatrist back to tell him that I still have severe side effects and he told me to stop with everything directly and wait untill my next appointment, which was a week and half wait. 
So until today most of the side effects were gone and I was in the hope that maybe I was better off without any medication but them today happened...
My son got the opportunity to go on a trip with my brother and his family and they would pick him up at 10AM, but they were late, an hour and a half late with as a result a massive attack while waiting. Even took a Xanax half hour in, in the hope it would be somewhat better but no go. The attack subdued when they arrived together with my father because I couldn't hold it anymore.
And this threw all my hopes out of the window of course that I could live without, son Wednesday I need to go back to the psychiatrist and I don't know what to do. I need to ask him for a solution = new medication but this will have all kind of new side effects with as result that it will take weeks again to see if it works.
So feeling kind of depressed because I really hoped that the worst was gone and I could start working again in September...