This is probably old news to people on here, but I have become increasingly aware of my inability to view people outside of the all good or all evil binary. 

I try to sit down and think about both the good and the bad qualities of people that mean a lot to me like my mom for example, and my mind seems to be incapable of holding together both a sense of anger at my mom's failings and selfishness and at the same time a sense of compassion and gratitude for my mom's good qualities and her own struggles in life. 

I constantly oscillate wildly between feeling like I hate my mom and that's she's an irredeemable b*tch, and feeling like I love my mom and she's an innocent victim of circumstances. 

I feel kind of silly that after 34 years of existence I still view people in such a juvenile way. But recently it's starting to feel really heavy and obstructive. I keep avoiding people partly because I don't know which "mood" to believe and act on when I'm with them. 

So my question is, do you guys have any deeper insight into this problem? Has anyone been able to overcome it? Any specific techniques I can use to help me figure out a way to integrate my opposite feelings and perception about a person? 

Thank you very much.