I have quit(more like blown off) SO MANY JOBS. Like I think I’m up to at least 30, maybe more. I work in the admin field. Usually I get to a point where I’m so bored in the job that I can’t take it anymore and just don’t go back. I’m a very quick worker so sometimes employers have trouble finding enough tasks for me meaning half my day consists of doing nothing and it’s boring. However, when I find a job that’s very fast paced (only 2 in my life including the one I’m at) I’m able to stay on for a while. 


The last job I had that was fast paced I blew off because I moved and the commute went from 15 minutes to 1.5 hours. I couldn’t take it anymore. My boss was also psychotic (I have so many good stories of his crazy behavior, usually he’d be high and sleep most of the day though) and he did a few borderline sexual misconduct things. (unsolicited shoulder rubs anyone?) Id worked there for almost a year and a half and he still didn’t trust me to work from home even though I was the hardest worker there. He gave me one day and I wanted 3 because of the commute. I tried for 2 months and eventually gave up. I was so exhausted waking up at 5:30 everyday that one day I just slept through.


The job I have now is amazing. I’m very busy. It’s part time so I’m never bored (only the last 30 mins but sometimes not even that) and I can work from home whenever I want. It’s also at a therapists office which is great because I want to be a therapist some day. 


Recently I’ve had a TERRIBLE few months. I had a miscarriage that hospitalized me and I needed about a week off with a week of work from home. Then, my husband had to go to the hospital Friday night. He was ok and back home the next day but my mom had to go to the hospital Monday and kept overnight. She has MS and was having heart problems. I’m very close to her and love her so much. I was so scared. 


Before she had to go to the hospital I was out with her (nothing was wrong at the time). There’s a heat wave where I am and heat makes me very nervous. I was lifting her scooter and having multiple panic attacks due to the heat. I dropped her off at home and headed to work but when I got there my office was 80 degrees and no AC was working. I felt like I couldn’t breathe or calm down. I went to my boss and told her I had to go home and would log on there. I also explained I have bad health anxiety and being hot makes me nervous so the no AC really wasn’t helping. Telling her this embarrassed me so much. I went to log on when my mom called saying she needed an ambulance. I had to call 911 and call dad and sister and stay on the phone. After they took my mom I was devastated and just kept sobbing. I told my boss what just happened and that I wasn’t going to work now. 


She ignored my text then the next day answered and she seemed to understand. And apologized. That next day my husbands car broke down so I sent him with mine knowing I could work from home. 


I told my boss and was ready to jump on when she told me the owner of the company said I can no longer work from home. They want the phone and laptop back and I have to come into the office for the rest of the week. But can still work from home Fridays. They also told me every Thursday I have to go to one of their therapy groups to see how it works. I didn’t know it was every week, just one time. So now my schedule changed on Thursday. This put a huge strain on me. I told them I’d be in today.


So now, I’m incredibly embarrassed and anxious about going in. All last night I was worried. This morning comes and I tell my husband that I’m so exhausted and to please just check if his Jeep will start. He did and it actually turned over. I was so relieved and went back to bed. My alarm went off and I don’t know why but I hit stop and just fell back to sleep for 2 hours. Making me very late. I was even more mortified seeing my boss had called. I texted her and told her my alarm didn’t go off. I’m waiting for direction but maybe I should just go in??


But this has happened to me before. When I have a job and it’s going well, more often than not I have to take 1 day off for something or something embarrassing happens with my anxiety and I have to leave early. No one is mad at me and they expect me to return to work, but I assume they are mad or annoyed and Ill get yelled at and I’m mortified so I just don’t return and sleep through my alarms. Then I just ghost them. I can’t imagine how many people have thought I died because I just stopped answering and never returned back to work. I had no excuse today and I’m probably going to get fired. 


Do you think it’s anxiety that’s causing me to quit jobs or am I just lazy and not waking up? My parents have always said I’m just lazy and it’s not my anxiety I just love to sleep. They also don’t understand anxiety at all and don’t believe in therapy. Are they right? I feel it’s anxiety and depression but who knows. 


It sucks because I know I need a job. My anxiety gets worse without one. If it is anxiety causing this, how can i stop it!?


PS: me, mom and husband are fine after the hospital visits, nothing serious.