Should have just killed myself a loooong fucking time ago. I posted yesterday morning about my issues with ruining my life for the second time.

Well fast forward to tonight when I randomly impulsively got into some strangers car cuz he offered me a pack of cigs. Then no less than a minute after getting out of said car, another car aproaches me. "Hey girl, you party??" 5 minutes later I'm in the car with a straw up my nose snorting  some brown powder off of some chicks cell phone. Yep. I did heroin. Told my friends about it (telling on myself from shame) who then all proceeded to yell at me.
Best friend told ne he was completely disgusted with my behavior and doesn't care about me anymore. I'm leaving my BF &amp; FP of 5years in 5 days...And I still love him. But once he knows he will be the very last person to throw me over the edge.

I am a disgusting worthless impulsive self sabotaging junkie trash whore. Nothing more nothing less. Fuck my life. I hate BPD, Addiction and wish my past suicide attempts would have succeeded.

I deserve to die..fucking scum of the earth.
