I've taken SSRI's in the past, a couple years ago last, for social anxiety, GAD, and MDD. I've been dealing with this all ever since, sometimes getting better and worse. I've been taking Lexapro now, for about a week and I've already begun feeling better, now I'm more energized, less anxious to do new things or anything, and feel a bit more optimistic overall. However, I've been restless, jittery, kind of feeling off the wall, which I don't necessarily dislike, it's a lot better than my usual boring, tired, worn down self, but I wanted to see if others experienced this or if this is a typical side effect.

Turns out these feelings of restlessness, insomnia, irritability, impulsivity, aggressiveness, fidgeting, hypomanic/heightened mood are part of what's called Activation Syndrome and it's a very common set of side effects for SSRI's. It's basically what you hear at the end of those commercials for antidepressants. Not everyone experiences Activation Syndrome or even many of these individual side effects. For those that do experience Activation Syndrome, it is linked to individuals with Mood and/or Personality Disorders. For those of us with BPD, we already have the highest risk of suicide out of other personality disorders, and that can be coupled with the increased risk of suicide that Activation Syndrome brings.

I'm definitely not advocating against medication or trying to make it seem scary or anything, just putting this out there to inform. So, if you're taking an SSRI, watch out for these initial side effects, because it really can sneak up on you. Remember that it's not you getting worse if you feel upset or that you're not improving at first, it's these common side effects, you have to just stay consistent until it takes full effect in at least 4 weeks, but if you start to feel suicidal or the side effects are too much, definitely see your doctor ASAP.

All in all, I'd say definitely give medication a shot, it's helped me a lot in the past, and I'm confident it'll help me out more than everything I've tried these last couple years, for the long haul this time.