This is probably just me seeking reassurance, I don’t usually post here but here it goes…

Just to give you some background, I have General Anxiety and I usually see my psychologist once per month. So, I’ve been having a couple of dreams in which this unwanted person shows up. This unwanted person was not even a friend of mine, we weren’t even close and I barely knew him (and when I say barely is because we truly barely interacted), but he was very involved in a certain episode of my life where I felt really humiliated and he contributed for that (for the first time in my life, I felt hurt and betrayed). I had completely forgotten about him and his existence up until recently when he showed up in one of my dreams and for some reason I woke up extremely anxious, with my heart racing, my stomach hurting and my throat tight (of course, I was having an anxiety attack). 

It was scary because I had never had that kind of dreams where I wake up really anxious. Then, as per usual, I started having intrusive and racing thoughts like “this kind of people will always be a part  of your life whether you want it or not”, “maybe he was right in all those bad things he said about you”, “maybe you actually like him in a romantic way”, “maybe they will never go away and will keep tormenting you for the rest of your life”…. 

I just want these thoughts to STOP. Today I have a work presentation and I had a dream with him again and now I’m literally in my bathroom crying, shaking and calling myself stupid for letting people that have hurt me, somehow control my life and hurt me all over again. Now I don’t want to go to the presentation because I feel like I’m going to fail or something bad is going to happen and as I can’t talk to anyone about this without feeling ridiculous I came to rant over here. 

Sorry and if you’re reading this thanks in advance.