We all have to deal with the stress and pain of difficult situations. Some situations simply happen suddenly and are out of our control. However, there are many situations in which we have the opportunity to Cope Ahead to ensure that we handle the situation as effectively as possible. Coping Ahead can help us reduce our distress by having us take a look at our vulnerabilities, emotions, thoughts, body sensations, and behavior urges, as well as plan for potential coping strategies to deal with the situation. Also, it's important to remember that stressful situations are not only reserved for unpleasant events, they can be the result of exciting/positive events, too. Feel free to try either or both methods and see which works best for you!

# Method 1

1. **Describe the situation.** What is the prompting event? What event are you coping ahead for? What is the situation that is likely to prompt ineffective behavior?
   1. Check the facts. Be specific in describing the situation.
   2. Name the emotions and actions likely to interfere with coping effectively.
2. **Decide what coping strategies, problem-solving, or skills** you want to use in the situation.
   1. Be specific. Write out in detail how you will cope with the situation and with your emotions and behavior urges.
3. **Imagine the situation** in your mind as vividly as possible.
   1. Imagine yourself in the situation NOW, not watching the situation.
4. **Rehearse in your mind coping effectively** using the coping strategies, problem-solving, and skills you wrote out in Step Two.
   1. Rehearse in your mind exactly what you can do to cope effectively.
   2. Rehearse your actions, thoughts, what you say, and how you say it.
   3. Rehearse coping effectively with new problems that come up.
   4. Rehearse coping effectively with your most feared catastrophe.
5. **Practice relaxation after rehearsing.**

# Method 2

1. **Prompting Event:** What is the event that you are coping ahead for?
2. **Vulnerabilities:** List your potential variables that may make you more vulnerable to heightened emotions or ineffective thoughts about the situation. i.e., being tired, a past traumatic event related to the situation, other current stress, etc. It's good to be aware of these vulnerabilities so that you can either potentially reduce them (getting extra sleep the night before the event), or make up for them by doing some extra self-care.
3. **Emotions:** Imagine yourself in the situation as if it were happening right now. What emotions do you feel? i.e., fear, anger, jealousy, anxiety, etc.
4. **Thoughts:** Imagine yourself in the situation as if it were happening right now. What thoughts do you have? i.e., "They don't care about me." "I can't do this."
5. **Body Sensations:** Imagine yourself in the situation as if it were happening right now. What body sensations do you feel? i.e., heart racing, face feels hot, jaw is clenched, fidgeting, etc.
6. **Urges:** Imagine yourself in the situation as if it were happening right now. What behavior urges do you feel? i.e., snap at someone, get drunk, self-harm, isolate, etc.
7. **Go back to Steps 3-6, and for each answer you gave, write down a coping strategy or skill you can use to help.**

* Emotions: Some of your emotions will be valid and justified for the situation, and that's okay. But for example, say you are angry at your boyfriend for having lunch with his ex, even though you said it was okay. In this case, some jealousy and anxiety may be valid, but you might want to check the facts in order to see if that anger is really justified or not.
* Thoughts: Go back and rewrite your ineffective thoughts into statements that are more effective and balanced. Make sure you at least believe your rewrites a little bit. Find the kernel of truth. Stick to the facts. For example, you can change "They don't care about me." into "They are not talking to me right now, but they have reassured me many times that they care about me." Or you can re-frame "I can't do this" into "I don't want to do this, but I can."
* Body Sensations: Go back and add in some coping mechanisms and skills you can use to manage your physical discomfort. [The TIP Skills are great for this one.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BPD/comments/98u3ta/tip_skills_to_help_you_calm_down_fast_dbt/) For example, used Paced Breathing for heart racing and a hot face, and Paired Muscle Relaxation for a clenched jaw and fidgeting.
* Urges: Go back and write down alternative behaviors or skills you can do instead of the ineffective behaviors you are having urges for. For example, step outside and take a minute to center yourself, splash cold water on your face, do a self-soothing activity, do an action opposite to what you are having the urge to do, etc.

8. **Take some time for yourself to relax and self-soothe after doing this activity.** Treat yo' self. This step is VERY  
important. Coping Ahead is a very emotionally strenuous task and it's important to reward yourself afterwards to let  
your stress and emotion levels come down.

Parts taken from *DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets* by Marsha Linehan. Let me know if you have any questions. Good luck and happy coping!