I found this Spanish guy on a dating app. We first met a week ago and he has changed my life in a way I can't describe with human words. Everything about him is just like a dream, he works for a School stage in a Hotel, he speaks little italian mixed with spanish, he kissed me like no one has ever kissed me. 

I went with him to a bar I wanted to visit for months the very first evening we met, we went in the middle of the night to a viewpoint which was closed and we had to cross two high fences, we found a bench and we kissed for an entire hour there. 

The second day we went on the hills near my city, it was night, warm, fireflies and stars making us see the path, the moon high in the sky and a thunderstorm preparing itself to explode at the horizon, waiting respectfully for us to fall in love in the grass carpet... 

The third day we went together to visit a city, we had dinner in a magnificent place where we ate a delicious italian steak, he invited me to sleep in his hotel room and we slept together. 

I fell in love with him immediately, unfortunately the third day he got sick, so we couldn't see each other for two days, which I have past in pain, I couldn't eat, drink, and my mind was obsessed with him. I started to thing that he was ignoring me, that I didn't respect him, that I might had to take things slower... My mind was killing me, I didn't work nor I hang out with my friends, I stayed at home because all i wanted was Him. 

After one day he was sick we finally see each other again and the magic just kicked in again, we walked in the city center of my city, I showed him my life, we talked about everything, we laughed, kissed, it was amazing, and we decided that the next day we would go to te seaside

Yesterday we took the car and went to te seaside, I had one of the happiest moments of my life, laying on the beach, next to him, watching him and saying nothing, with the sound of the waves in the background, me, him, and nothing else in the world. 

We slept together again, and this morning he had to wake up at 6:30 am to go to work. Since than, we haven't really write or said anything to each other today, and this is making me feel really, really bad. I hate myself for this, at first I thought he was laying to me because he didn't want to see me, then I tried to avoid writing to him but it was stronger than me, and I wrote him, I couldn't do anything today, I couldn't eat, I couldn't stay focused for more than 30 minutes, I couldn't watch a movie, all I could do was thinking about him. 

I wrote a text about him, so I will forever remember him, I think that the fear of abandonment is already kicking in, the problem is that the possibility of never seeing him again is real, because tomorrow will be the last time I will see him and I don't know how to handle the depression that I will have once he will be left. This is too big for me, too many emotions, from the happiest to the saddest of my life, I've been through a centrifuge....