So to keep a long story short, I’ve had anxiety all my life. I had really bad separation anxiety as a little kid after my dad left so leaving my mom was hard because she was all I had as I’m an only child. As I got older my anxiety never got better, I was always pretty shy in school except for around friends. I’d make myself physically sick if I had to present in school or do something by myself because I’d gets sick anxious about it. 

I also have extremely bad hypochondria. My mom works in the health field treating cancer so growing up hearing horrible stories apparently didn’t sit too well with me. I was talking about something I thought was wrong with me yesterday and basically ended the sentence with “I’m literally crazy” and my mom agreed with me and said “yes I know you’re crazy” and this agreement to what I said caught me off guard. 

My mom gets mad at me whenever I bring up something I think it wrong with me and tells me to drop it but she’s never said that before. Yet my family is very very against medication. The fact that she agreed with what I said, but doesn’t want me to get better has been bothering me. She knows what I go through, but doesn’t understand it. She thinks I can stop worrying about it and turn it off but I can’t. Sorry this is so long.