i got mlstd multiple times by a family member. i also got rpd by his close friends. i died many years ago. i got into a relationship that coerced me into doing it. another one who always wanted to do it even when i don't feel like it. just a few years ago, a new relationship that questioned me if these really happened to me, asked me that maybe i felt good, that i really liked it, that non of it was SA. basically all the horror questions to be asked in court. then asked me to choose whther one cheats or we have sex with no safe word. no stops until one decides. felt like i had no choice. still dating. didnt report, too afraid. the child before everything is still here. i still see her all the time. she looks so innocent, but i feel like she's mad at me for always freezing. she hates me. i just need someone to talk to.