I can't find much info on quiet borderlines in particular so I'll just ask my questions here.

Is it common to gaslight yourself into thinking every negative emotion you feel is just your BPD which leads you to further internalize it? I do this a lot to myself and I haven't heard anything about it being a general BPD thing so is this a part of being a quiet borderline?

Do you desperately wish you could vocalize your feelings, whether you think they are valid or not, but are physically incapable? Like you will actually go nonverbal basically. I know several times when I am desperate to wake up my gf to ask for help(I usually don't because I gaslight myself into thinking I am crazy) but even when she wakes up and asks if I'm ok, I'll shake my head no but become nonverbal or I'll say nothing because I am incapable of saying anything.

Is it common to picture arguments you make with people that start with you trying to talk about your negative feelings which leads to more internalization out of fear of the argument becoming a reality? Obviously picturing made-up arguments is a general BPD thing, but for quiet borderlines do you use it as fuel not to externalize your emotions? I do this a lot with my gf, I'll imagine me opening up to her but her reacting negatively and it starting a fight that I get mad over.

This last one is more of a general borderline question, do you ever feel like you are legitimately having an argument with the inner teenager where the inner child might interject in support of the inner teenager? Commonly if my inner teenager is trying to seek attention via self-destructive/harmful behaviors I will feel and think like I am having an argument with the inner teenager, there is back and forth banter and an occasional interjection from the inner child saying something about how I do need attention because I need help. Is this a BPD thing, am I ironically feeding into my inner teenager's attention-seeking nature by gaslighting myself into thinking I'm somehow more broken or should I be looking into other possible personality disorders? I don't think I have alters and I'm never not physically in control, but I'm just confused about what exactly is happening.