I learned I can’t even trust my wife. I have nobody to talk to or vent to anymore. I’ve been really struggling and having some bad thoughts lately.

I thought I could open up to my wife and tell her some of the dark thoughts I’ve had lately in terms of hurting myself and my father in law asked me if I was okay then felt the need to check up on me a couple days later, she claims she didn’t mention anything to him.

A couple of my family members felt the need to call me and ask if I was doing okay less than a week later, again she claims she didn’t say anything to them.

Her coworker even “wanted to talk to me” but she claims she didn’t say anything to her outside of saying “he’s stressed out”

I know it’s all bullshit

I know she’s been talking about the issues i have asked her to keep private. She knows I’m looking for help, I’ve asked her to keep my issues between us and to just let me find outside help on my own, I’ve asked her to not mention anything I say to anybody we know.

I’ve had to lie to family more in the past 2 weeks than I have in the past 30 years.

I’m tired of saying “no I’m fine just a little overwhelmed” or “yeah no I’m just a little stressed out with shit”

I can’t trust anybody anymore, I have nobody to talk to anymore. I can’t trust her anymore.

I feel so dead inside, I feel emotionless, I can’t even sleep.

I can’t even confide in my wife about shit I’m going through without everybody in our family knowing about it!

All it did is make things worse.

I was clinically diagnosed with PTSD and I don’t want to discuss it with everybody, I really don’t even want to talk about it but I trusted her. I can’t even do that now…

Shits been really hard and I don’t know what to do about it