Hi everyone,

I'm (34 f) a high functioning autistic person (diagnosed back when it was called Asperger's) and I don't really like flying. I wear earplugs for the noise and take something distracting like a book or music/podcast/audiobook, but turbulence terrifies me. I know the plane isn't going to crash, I'm not scared of heights or anything like that I just don't like the unpredictable movement. I can "pass" as neurotypical normally but the mask comes off as soon as the turbulence starts - if it's light I grit my teeth, shut my eyes and do breathing exercises, but if it's heavy I have to stim by chanting, holding my head, gripping parts of the plane or myself tightly and things like that. If I can look around I normally see that others are just complaining about their drinks or food rocking around too much, or the occasional "oh" if the plane bumps unexpectedly when someone is asleep or something. I hate it! People stare at me like I'm crazy. The first time I fly with a friend I have to warn them that I'm a nervous flyer and to ignore everything I do if turbulence starts up. 

In my current job I have to fly to remote areas on a 12 seater prop plane almost 4 times a year. These flights range from a little bit bumpy to alarms going off in the cockpit, plane dropping and slewing (luckily I haven't been on one where we've had to use oxygen masks...yet?). I went on one today and it was the worst I've been on by far...50km winds made takeoff and landing difficult, flew through storm clouds in one area. The covid mask mandates are still on down here where I live in Australia so I could at least chant poems and grit my teeth without others knowing (props are too loud for anyone to hear anything) but seriously! How can I deal with this anxiety like a normal adult! Does anyone have any strategies?

Tl;dr: scared of flying, need to fly for work, my coping strategies are not very good, after better coping strategies