I do have professional help(psychiatrist and therapist) but I can only afford to meet them once or twice a week, which is definitely not enough for my emotional load.

One friend of mine(we known each other for more than six years and were very close) actually told me to die and leave him alone today. Surprisingly I was not even that offended. I understand why he said that.

Guess I’m running out of friends and I need to find new friends to torture. Just venting.