honestly i’m so fucking anxious and stressed out about what happened yesterday that i can’t even think about typing it out without dry heaving. so let’s focus on the fallout of what had happened: I could not relax all day yesterday. my heart rate was an average of 110 bpm and i’m normally ~78. Barely ate yesterday or slept last night, constant tossing and turning, woke up extremely sweaty but it’s cold in my house. I could hear my stomach bubbling and have been back and forth from the bathroom with diarrhea since. I threw up, thick white almost frothy, and then acid yellow at the end. Popped a ton of blood vessels in my face. 

I (23F) don’t know how to deal with situations that bring my anxiety out head first. I do not take medications, long story but short one is my parents took me off meds are 3 years of them in my teen years and it just was a bad experience and I’m not interested in having something like that occur again. I do smoke weed but that’s all. Even when I smoke I get anxious about people smelling it or seeing me or thinking i’m lazy or forgetting something. it’s just a never ending FUCKING wheel in my head and I cannot help myself it feels. I want to go for a run but i feel like my body is locked up. i don’t want to go outside and see anyone. i don’t want to stay at my house. i want to sleep but i don’t want to dream about anything. please just give me some advice on how to at least get through today