Everyone keeps telling me to just simply stop letting my past effect me and its fucking horseshit. They keep telling me to just take small steps to improve and just simply think to myself that my past isn't effecting me anymore.
Well then they can let me knoe when find a way to even get started doing that and even pass the threshold of hating myself so much I don't feel like it's even worth the time to improve because I'll probably end up killing myself before I even get halfway to being a better person.

Why can't they just get it through their heads that I'm not worth the effort. It's never going to get better. I'm always going to fucking hate myself and everything about me and the bullshit about just simply flipping a switch and letting go of the past hasn't worked for 20 god damned years.