So I’ve been going through an anxious episode for the past two weeks, like every morning I feel the anxiety, I feel the racing thoughts, I feel like everything is wrong and bad and I feel so alone. I usually cry every morning, journal, watch some videos on anxiety, and then go about my day. I do feel somewhat better throughout the day, not as anxious and scared, able to think about other things, but it kinda comes back at night too, maybe because I know I’m gonna have to deal with it the next day, too. It’s very frustrating and disheartening.

I’ve received a lot of different advice, and a lot of it directly contradicts other advice. 

Distract or face? My therapist tells me every time I go through one of these episodes that I have to get my mind off of it and onto something else. I need to find something to do that makes me think. But I don’t know how much that’s helped. She says the same thing when I’m depressed. I have to distract myself. 

I recently learned about sitting with anxiety and facing it so that your body doesn’t freak out about it as much anymore and you can learn to live with it. It supposedly helps with meta anxiety, which I admit I have pretty bad. I know how hard these episodes are, and since I usually get one once a month around my period, I fear it the rest of the month. But I’ve been trying and it’s really hard. Apparently talking to others about anxiety is reassurance and makes it worse in the long run, but that’s all I want to do when I’m anxious. I want to call my mom and cry on the phone. 

I also hear advice that’s a combination of both, where you notice your anxiety, acknowledge it, don’t judge it, but say, “I’d rather be doing something else right now” and then distract yourself. I worry that it could undo some of the work of accepting anxiety. But I don’t know, because I feel better when I successfully distract and I haven’t been doing it recently so I feel like shit. 

I don’t know how to successfully deal with anxiety, not just in the moment, but overall. I don’t want to deal with such hard episodes every month. It’s so difficult because when I’m in them there’s nothing I want to do, or nothing that makes me excited, it’s hard to eat, etc. I just lose sight of all things that make me happy and it’s hard to even distract when nothing feels like it’s going to help. 

I know I’ve got an issue with avoidance and I’m trying to work on it, I do think it has made things worse. I avoid anything I associate with those feelings, and literally it could be anything. A painting I was working on, the Halloween costume I wore, the pants I wore the day before, it’s all really random stuff that gives me that same feeling. 

What has helped you in the long term, not just short term relief? What is the “right” advice to treat anxiety in the long-run, not just the present moment? Or literally what would you like to add to this discussion? What are your thoughts? Have you dealt with something similar? 

Please no pseudo-science.