what i wrote in my journal and i feel it so hard today.. (recovering from a narcissist relationship from 3 years😭) Tw: suicide 
 
“ i scare myself.. i don’t like myself, my emotions are so much and i realize how much it can take a toll on others. I feel like a burden but i can’t control them and that’s the scary part.. they control me.. . 1 minute i’m trying to hang myself over him leaving me and actually attempting and then 15 minutes later im in a god complex and realize i’m so beautiful and the prettiest girl he will ever have. I hate that i love him so much. I don’t have the strength to get help. I hate how he destroyed me and how he won’t ever feel how i do “