I’ve been struggling with severe depression/other mental disorders for the past many years and have had multiple suicide attempts landing me in a few treatment/mental health facilities. It sounds really really stupid but at this point I almost don’t even want help, i don’t feel like I deserve it, I just feel like a pathetic worthless loser. All I want is for it all to go away and be done, I don’t wanna prolong the inevitable and just want all the pain to go away. I hate waking up everyday, I hate every meal, I hate every conversation I have, I hate every second of each day and it’s just all so tiring. At this point I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to even think I’m worth enough to get help. I just don’t think I can put up with it much longer and don’t wanna hurt those close to me by doing something bad but I just can’t continue