I went through a bad breakup/divorce last year and stayed single for six months trying to figure myself out. I had my BPD under control but then I met someone and he was so genuine and kind that I wanted a relationship. The past three months have been great until last night he tells me my sex toys make him insecure and he's insecure of my past sex life and he feels emasculated. The moment he said that to me I instantly felt myself detach. I've spent most of the day drinking and crying because I was so happy and once I detach from a person I know it's over. I tried to talk about my feelings with him but he sucks at communicating. He was a virgin before me and I know in my mind he's learning but at this point I think I just want to be alone for the rest of my life. I'm 29. I have one friend who won't read my messages for days and I messaged her cause I'm sad af and she's not responding of course. But I just feel like I have nothing going for me. Dating is so draining. You waste so much time just to find out you aren't compatible. Friendships are even more draining. I don't understand how people live and flourish. I don't even want kids. I wanted love. I wanted it so bad but I know the only person I should love and can depend on is myself.