One month ago (tomorrow) I started an intensive six month treatment program. I moved out of state, and left the love the life, who had broken up with me a couple weeks before due to some truly horrific actions. Treatment has been hard, but my mom, even my wonderful wonderful ex, have been so supportive and have talked me through every day. Anyway, as crazy and consuming as treatment has been (five days a week, some days for four hours at a time) I've started to notice some improvements in myself, which is really exciting. What's funny is that the things I get the most excited about, are the the small things. Like, a couple weeks ago I accidentally spilled coffee all over my car, because I left it on the middle console instead of putting it in the cup holder. That would have usually sent me into a borderline rage, screaming, and getting so angry at myself I'd probably have to pull the car over. Instead, I calmly drove to a car wash and cleaned it up. Nothing more than an "ahh shucks" really. It was incredible. A few days ago, I didn't hear from my ex, who usually texts moderately every day, for hours and hours. I got a little worried that something happened but I didn't get angry, or paranoid, or crazy at all.
It's so strange and wonderful to experience this kind of change. I'm so grateful for this opportunity.