They hate me, so much. I try never to talk back or defend myself yet I always get berated. Had a massive fight happen on thanksgiving and today. Now I've got bruises and I'm the only one hurting. My mother just told me that I've been faking my depression. As if the gaslighting wasn't enough. My mother wants me out of the house so bad, I don't know what I ever did to her to deserve this. She ignores everything I say, just believing the others who hate me. If I could just disappear, I'd do it in a heart beat. Maybe it would make their lives better, I shouldn't have been born. Maybe my sister wouldn't have to suffer when she defends me from our family. I want to kill myself just so thy can see that the words they say, the actions they do, it all has tangible effects. It hurts, I want them to hurt like I have all these years. It all sucks because the one person I have that understands me, gets in trouble for sticking up for me. She's the only reason I don't want to go, she's already suffered so much, I can't do that to her and I don't even want to. I'm just grateful she's still here. I don't know how long I will be though.

People with families that make your life a living hell, how did you isolate yourself from them? My sister tried to do the same thing and now they hate her. With me, I'm still 17, I have to stay here. I can't leave like she can, even when I graduate I'm going to community college for a year or two so I'll still be stuck in this miserable place I used to call my home. I'm at a dead end here, does it get better? Please.