I just seem to fuck up every relationship I've ever had in my life. I have a new friend and I just kind of messed stuff up with her.

I almost don't want to even make new friends anymore because I'm just going to fuck them up.

I feel like I'm doing as much as I can to get better. I stopped smoking cannabis and tobacco. I've been doing DBT for over a year. I came out of the closet as transgender and now I get to live as my authentic self.

But relationships are still SO hard. I never fail to hurt the people I want to please. I hate this. I feel like it has always been this way and will never get better.