The last few months have been the classic "do I even have BPD?" because everything was going great for once, I was on top of my uni work, I'd just got my job back, I felt "normal"... Then 2 weeks ago I got the news that my dad had passed away. I'm pretty positive he's responsible for my BPD but I had forgiven him, we had a strained relationship and I only saw him a couple of times a year but at the end of the day he's still my dad and I'm grieving, the funeral is tomorrow..

I'm just really beginning to struggle again. It's hard to fall asleep at night and even harder to get up the next day. I'm in my last semester ever of university and I have no motivation to get any work done, and when I try I just get distracted. I keep flipping between feeling empty and numb and then feeling way too much at once, it kind of feels like he's abandoned me one last time. I'm on medication (quetiapine) but at the minute I'm not getting any therapy and haven't been offered any by my psychiatrist who I haven't seen since before this happened but I'm really struggling to take control of things before I end up in crisis. Idk where I'm really going with this, all I know is that I'm spiralling :( 