I think it all started a couple of years ago, after I've been out partying (I live in Denmark and the drinking culture here is pretty brutal) I used to be hit by this super depressive feeling, but only the day after and everything would be fine and I could go to work on monday, feeling like myself. 

I slowly began to realize that getting super hammered multiple times every month, wasn't for me anymore - and I started to skip when my friends went out, and if I went out, I went home early. 

So I really rarely get drunk anymore, but when I do I'm really hit be what some people define as hangxiety, and it it's really tearing me up - you know that feeling when you feel you're seconds away from breaking down any minute, and I stays with my for a couple of days, maybe even a week. 

Last night I woke at 3:30 and didn't sleep for hours - I get these anxious thoughts about eternity, and it really freaks my out. I have to get up and walk around for a bit, I just cant lay down with these thoughts - really fucking anxious, and feeling like I'm going insane. Eventually I'll fall asleep, and when I wake up in the morning, everything is fine - but I'm just so tired and worn out, because I didn't sleep all night. 

Now I'm sitting here at 8:00 in the morning, called in sick at work 2nd day in a row - and I feel like a complete failure and I still have this anxious knot in my belly. (I only call in sick a handfull of days every year, and never when feeling like this) But luckily my girlfriend is extremely supportive, as she has be/is batteling with anxiety herself - so it's pure gold to have her around in these times. But it's really f\*cking tough on me to call in sick a work, because I went out to drink on saturday

  
But here's my plan, to fix this mess and get back on track! 

I know that I need to stop drinking - it kinda like feels like torture what i putting myself through, and when sparetime affects your work in this way, it's a no-no. And when I'm not hit with the hangxiety, I just really get the worst hangovers ever, and have to waste a day feeling like crap - the joy of being in your mid thirties :) I've gone longer periods without drinking as much as a single drop, and my girlfriend has said that she never seen me this happy - so I think it's my call to quit the drink.

Wish me luck on my journey :)