TRIGGER WARNING

he lives in another state. i cut contact with him after he repeatedly disrespected my boundaries and then got shitty and manipulative with me when i was trying to work through my disorder i had only just found out i had. i was going through a psychotic breakdown and he was trying to swoop in like a white knight and take advantage of me, like he did his exes, while under the guise of just being there as a friend.

i told him not to come and he got shitty with me about it. which is when i cut contact. my mental health was more important than dealing with that bs.

he showed up at my house a year later to tell me he's getting married to his old ex gf who lives in my torn. 

i thought to warn her about him but figured he spun spun his lies already and she would just think i was jealous or something. 

i was glad he found a different target.  thought that would be the last from him. 

now another year later he suddenly msgs me.  apologizing for overstepping boundaries many years ago.  something he apologized for already. ignored the other big reasons why i cut him off.

i didn't recognize his #. it was local. all who it is and when he says it was him, i felt sick. i never want to see him again. i didn't like that he was nearby. i felt unsafe. i never responded

that weekend he called each night and texted each afternoom. saying he just wanted to talk but i didn't have to and he understood if i didn't. each time it sounded like he was just going to leave it at that yet he would still keep trying to contact me. 

then the final night, he called me.  ignored it still.  then he msgs me saying he's checking out a bar near my home.  it's in walking distance. I'm like oh fck no here we go.

he texts some hrs later saying he's going back to his home state this month and will be at the bar if i want to meet up and just talk.

mind you he's been married for 6 months.  i don't understand why he's doing this now or at all.

i ignore it,  dreading hearing a knock at my door at some point in the night. 

then hours later he blows up my phone from a different local #. then he texts from that number with some sob story he spun and asking to crash at my place for an hr.

i was like you cannot be fucking serious. i looked good wife up on Facebook and told her what he was doing and that he must be out his mind to think this is okay and to please get him under control. 

i didn't tell her i felt uncomfortable and unsafe. i didn't tell her the details of our past.  i didn't warn her about them.  i just told her about how he has shown up at my place uninvited and told me they were getting married a year after i told him not to contact me. i told her he suddenly contacted me this week and is now blowing up my phone  asking to crash at my place despite me ignoring him.

she acts like she upset with *me* tells me to just please tell him i don't want anything to do with him.  i told her i been told him that the last time we spoke.

i just stopped responding to her.  her response was odd.

then the next day she msgs me about her "issue" with me. she tells me i have issues and I'm a liar and need to grow up and get my mental health together and admit what I've done wrong... i tell her to grow up and don't contact me with this childish bs. i didn't contact her to start drama.  i contacted her because she needed to know what he was doing and i needed him to stop.

it was the safest and best route of actin i could think of. i didn't want to contact him and open that door and give him hope. police weren't going to do anything. what else was i to do??

but yes he apparently already told her her his sob story about why we don't talk anymore.  he already spun his lies. covered his tracks in case i ever contacted her.

and he already told her he wanted to speak with my in a public place for an hr. probably for "therapy " purposes. he said he was back in therapy.

but that's why he blew my phone up and asked to crash from a DIFFERENT #. so he could claim that want him. 

he told her he doesnt want me and never did with my crazy issues. he made me out to be a serial cheaterv who doesnt take responsibility for my actions. i have cheated but not with him and I've owned up to every time I've cheated and I've made amends with my ex. 

this guy? i didn't cheat with him. the second time we met in person, he took advantage of me.  HE climbed into MY bed while i was sick and exhausted and medicated.  passing out in my own bed while he was in his. 

i don't even remember anything after him nibbling my ear. i cringe just typing that. i feel disgusted.  for year i felt that i had cheated because i couldn't believe he would take advantage of me.  we were such good friends.  i trusted him so much.

I've never told my ex about it. and honestly,  if he was to know,  I'd say i cheated rather than i was taken advantage of because i feel like he would feel even worse and so much more anger about the latter. because this guy pretended to be our friend. pretended to care.  he only cares about himself. 

I'm shaking writing this.  he had his wife tellimg me that i wanted it and that i cheated and that i need to own up to it and that he was only seeing to my needs while i was sick. CLIMBING INTO MY BED IS NOT SEEING TOO MY NEEDS WHILE I'M SICK LIKE HOLY SHIT WHAT EXACTLY DID HE TELL HER.

I blocked her because I'm not wasting my energy or subjecting myself to that.  i already know fighting is futile.

i could go on.  if you're interested in full back story feel free to ask.  i need to get this off my chest, despite how messy and chaotic it may come out