I've had a really bad week, which has just ended in me having a gigantic and (of course) unjustified freakout at my SO. Half way through the guilt-inducing, spiteful and down right shameful arguement which I was the SOLE proprietor of I realized that it was serving to PUSH him away further, when all I wanted was to PULL him closer. So then came the frantic back tracking and excuses and apologies. Now I just feel like a pathetic little mess - he must think I've absolutely lost it (again......)

Does anyone else experience this? I don't know if its a good thing that I caught myself, or if it just serves to worsen the situation, making it seem like the apology isn't at all sincere, but just a way of getting myself out of trouble. This is all so emotionally and physically exhausting. 