I'm in high school I wouldn't say school life sucks its probably what many people wish for but for me I dont like life I dont see myself as attractive when many times before my friend group said I'm the one of the most attractive but still I'm short I have acne I'm very scrawny and my grades are somewhat good but I feel pressured by my parents that it isnt good. I tried using some arthritis pain killers I found first I tried 10 because I didnt want anyone to notice when that didnt work I tried 20 then 30 then 40 and none of them have worked besides making me throw up my own stomache acid I want something that will get me in one go and not slowly kill my stomach or whatever. I dont care if it's a good trip or not I just wanna die by overdose I imagine myself sometimes hanging myself but I dont wanna be found like that and plus I want something that isnt as painful to die to. When I did took those pills my heart rate increased by so much I thought I would die many times but now when I even think of that bottle it makes me wanna throw up because its nasty. So any recommendations what else I can use that doesnt require money? I'm broke and I cant find my parents money to steal and I would probably just buy some weed because it helps me continue on for a bit but I wont be able to since I will be doing sports this month. So can anyone please tell me what I can use? I would greatly appreciate it and I'll even give someone my xbox account I hit champ 3 times on seige I have OG fortnite skins and I have some modded stuff on gta and even some other stacked games.