My bf and I were invited to a cabin by a mutual friend of ours. We arrived yesterday and were planning to celebrate NYE here as well as our anniversary which happens to be the last day of the year. The friend had also invited about 10 other friends along, most of them people I hadn't met before, but told us we would be having a chill celebration with chill people. We were promised sauna, jacuzzi and board games. 

This was not the case however. I quickly found out the time here would be very heavy in drinking and partying, although the sauna and jacuzzi were also present. The problem here is that my anxiety gets worse around people I don't know and one of my sensitive triggers is loud noises. Drunk people are not traditionally known as quiet.

Usually I would survive the screaming and music that is happening here but this time there are several things that make things worse. First is the fact that I don't know most of the people and they had worn out my noise tolerance by bad kazoo playing, screaming, music, door slamming and singing by 7 pm. I also literally cannot escape the noise. It can be heard every where in the cabin even through headphones, drunk people are bad at remembering to be quiet, and I cannot escape outside long enough because it is freezing out there. No one is also in driving condition to get me elsewhere and the nearest hotel or motel is probably dozens of kilometers away through the woods.

So as we wrapped up eating dinner I started to feel my anxiety kicking in and went to my shared room to try and calm down. Due to the above reasons and excessive screaming right next to my door, I was unsuccesful and started having a panic attack about one hour into sitting in the room alone. The attack lasted for at least two hours because every time I was calming down, I would hear another scream or shout that would trigger me again. My bf was by my side but didn't have any means to calm me down or to ask the others to stop. Luckily the attack started to wind down after he took me outside long enough to get me operational again and then took me inside wearing headphones guiding me straight to the quietest room he could find. Even then it was really hard to calm down because I was very aware of how trapped I was in the situation and I didn't see any way out at the moment.

Now I'm calm enough to type this and start preparing to sleep. Bf moved my stuff to the billiards room so I wouldn't have to sleep in the shared room. We are supposed to be here for two more days but I don't know if I can last seeing the others anymore because bf had to tell them about the panic attack to get them to stop even for 15 minutes before they forgot again. I'm afraid I will become the center of attention tomorrow at breakfast or that everyone will be overly careful with me and resent me for ruining their party. Right now I feel like I just want to leave early but there are two other people who depend on my car as their ride and I would hate to be the reason they had to cut their trip short especially since we arrived a couple days late to the week long trip. I'm gonna sleep on it though before I make any decision and see how I feel tomorrow. Right now I'm too tired from the panicking and crying and my melatonin pill is startin to kick in. I just neede to vent my disappointment in the night out to someone who isn't drunk and the reason for my miserable state.