I think I have BPD I have 8/9 symptoms I just can’t get therapy rn. I’ve had feelings for this guy but I know he’s straight, but he would let me lay on him and would play with my hair. He’s talking to a girl and he’s straight so I was trying to push the feelings away but it wasn’t working. He acts fruity and a lot of people think he’s gay or bi. So it’s been confusing me and I finally told him. But I realized I forced myself to have feelings for him when I knew he wasn’t available, and I was pretty confident that he was straight, he never talked about liking guys only girls. I feel like I made up this story in my head to try and convince my self, and I think that me sending him the text was me self-sabotaging.