In a recent haze of abstract thinking and marijuana, I was pondering the nature of our reality and I came to a conclusion. When you view the world in only black and white like racist people do, its forces your perception into a metaphorical box. I HATE being put in a box of ANY kind because it assigns a value to aspects of my life and I believe that I should be the only one doing that. I realized this "Type of thinking" was very limiting and I didn't like it. So I asked myself a question...If viewing the world in black and white is WRONG, then HOW do I think....in the gray area? Whats the opposite of Binary? Of 1 and 0?

Two words suddenly popped in my head, Like....like when a point in time and space, connects to another point in time and space(In math this creates a Line), and then connects to ANOTHER Point(That is also now a Line as well this creates a vertices) and ANOTHER point until you what in mathematics is called....A Matrix.

Matrix THINKING. 

Not seeing the world as A-&gt;B-&gt;C (Linear thinking), Or seeing the world as A-&gt;C-&gt;G(Skip Thinking), BUT SEEING THE WORLD AS IT TRULY WORKS A-&gt;G-&gt;C-&gt;Q-&gt;S-&gt;Y-&gt;A-&gt;B a never ending cycle.

It felt like I was on to SOMETHING...But I wasn't sure what..

As a child one of the coping mechanisms that always kept me alive was my imagination. I would recede to this beautiful place in my head snd I always started at a colorful beach with sand and water whatever color I wanted. I used to explore this Garden/beach whenever I was upset and couldn't handle reality. When I learned about building Mental Palaces in your head using your imagination to help organize your thoughts, I didn't realize the power in this. I began building HUGE rooms to house memories, feelings, trauma, even physical pain. Then when my Psychotherapist diagnosed me with DBT, I began to realize the imaginary place in my head, was in an abstract concept, No different than the realize. I decided to start over and wiped away the world. I followed the model of the Universe and started a Big Bang event in my imagination. Like watching the universe in fast forward (remember time doesn't exist in abstract thinking) I watched meterors crash and volcanoes and lightning and acidic rain bleached this imaginary earth, on the atomic level I assigned chemicals and specifics properties of each to specific neural circuirts in my brain. I just Imagined this happening in my head and...something inside me began to change. I felt like I was on to SOMETHING important. I still FEEL this way.
Back in my head, Proteins has now formed, I sped time up faster and watched the different variances mixing and changing, searching for that perfect combation of genes needed to survive. Once they found them, new processes began forming and growing and propagating, Life split from itself. Ive keeo this process going a few days now and when I revisisted my imaginary world, it was now populated with people and creatures from ALL aspects of my life both real and imaginary and EVERY imaginary person as a specifix assigned autonomous function both metaphysical and simultaneously in my real body. A CONNECTION, a Converging Nexus point between metaphysical and the real simply by imagining life in the universe running through my head and getting caught up to the rest of my mind AND the rest of the REAL world...and its working..Its working better than I imagined. A nuclear Power city of imagination is already building itself in my Imagined World and it helps me sort out all the insanity of the rest of my mind....Has anyone had an similar experience? or am I thoroughly insane?