So i thought ive been crying because my bf had to move away and he is the first person i have genuinely loved as much as i do. But i think its more than that. I know he loves me and wants us to work. Im scared that im gonna fuck it up. And then i realized ive fucked up every good thing for myself. Ever. It only hurts me more why do i keep myself in this persistent dangerous and hurtful pattern? Something is wrong with me and if i fuck this up its gonna hurt him too and i would hate myself even more if that happened.