Hi there and thanks in advance for reading.

I met a new friend and I've been trying to trust.  She has asked me some personal questions, which I think is a good sign because a lot of people I meet end up being selfish (I think I attract that type being way way way too much of a people pleaser) and don't ask me anything about myself.  So I took it as a good sign.

Then, we were talking about me wearing makeup.  I have loved makeup since I was a toddler, I would sneak into my mom's room and play with it. I started experimenting with hair and makeup when I was 11 and have ever since.  She asked me this question, "Do you think you wear makeup because of your abusive mom and being teased when younger?"  I thought about it and said maybe?  

Then the next day, I had another friend over, and decided to go 100% makeup free.  I was fine.  I didn't feel exposed or ugly, I just was my normal self.  I do admit that I usually wear makeup everyday and do not feel comfortable out with at least a bare minimum.  It is sort of a sensitive topic to me, but then again, what isn't I'm fucking borderline.

Then this morning, my new friend sent me a text like 'How was your Sunday? I overslept today and didn't have time to put on makeup!"  She took a picture of her unmade up face and sent it to me and said she was on the train on her way to work.

I honestly felt like this was a direct attack and I can't tell if it's just my BPD mind taking over.  Like...I feel like she could sense I was sensitive about the makeup issue and then like humblebragged AT me about being so STRONG and NORMAL and not needing to lean on the makeup crutch like fragile stupid little me.  Like (1) am I projecting?? and (2) Is this just hitting a nerve for me?

Now, this is similar to last week when I told her that my parents canceled coming to town for my birthday and the next day she posted this entire paragraph on facebook like "OMG my mom is SO IN TUNE with me, she is the most amazing mother and I am so incredibly lucky blah blah blah."  Like, I had just told her, less than 12 hours before all these things about being abandoned by my mother.  I felt like it was sort of a slap in my face.  Just like the no makeup selfie.

Am I being over sensitive? Am I being triggered?  Is this "normal" behavior? How would you respond? I feel weak and lame and like a sensitive little baby.  I'm not super attached to this person.

Oh, I should also note that when she sent me the no makeup selfie, my response was, "Oh, I didn't know you wore makeup, I can't tell."  She said, "I do, I wear lip stain, concealer, fill in my brows, and mascara."  And because I was so defensive and sensitive, I wrote back, "Yeah the cheaper products lack pigment, that's probably it." Because I know she's broke and I'm not and I buy expensive makeup by the pound because of the void in my heart and my endless insecurities. (edit: I know I that was extremely cunty. I'm not proud of that.)

Thanks for reading. I'm only being cheeky and facetious because I am extremely guarded.  I have been working on myself in therapy, reading books, but this whole making friends thing is a huge challenge.  I don't want to write her off if I'm just being a Borderline Bessie.  There should be a BPD advice column I swear.