I'm not asking for advice really, I just want to vent.

In September I went to my GP because I had self diagnosed myself with General Anxiety Disorder after a really traumatic bout of psychosis. He referred me to a mental health service and the woman I spoke to discharged me after 40 minutes. I was distraught because I sincerely felt I had an issue and if I hadn't and what I was experiencing was 'normal', I didn't want to live. The derealization was terrifying and I didn't even recognise my own boyfriend.

A month later I went back to my GP to beg for help because it hadn't gone away. I was self harming and it was affecting my uni work, part time job and interpersonal relationships. I was washing up at work and someone saw my cuts and rumours flooded the building. It was horrible. 

My GP looked through stuff on his computer and said "of course we suspect you have a personality disorder so medication won't help you" and sent me away. I hadn't heard ANYTHING about this up until this point - I'd never even heard of a personality disorder. He basically said I could still function like a normal person, I just "didn't want to" and that was my problem.

So in December I finally get told it's Emotionally Unstable PD and they want to send me somewhere to get diagnosed. I've been waiting nearly six months for this now. I've called them three times to ask about it and they've told me "you're part of a personality disorder program and we'll call you with details soon". 

From all the things I've learnt on various websites like this, I KNOW a lot of things I've experienced in the last few months could have been avoided if I'd had the right help. I don't know how to help myself. My interpersonal relationships have completely crumbled. My parents threw me out, my friends have turned against me, my boyfriend left me and now I have no support network. I'm terrified I'm going to end up completely alone or dead.