She attempted suicide about four days ago. She's been in a very black mood, nobody cares, ignored even after this attempt, what's the point of living if nobody is there to help when she needs it most. I haven't seen her since we started talking again.


I don't know exactly where she lives but I know she's walking distance from work. So I went there on her day off and told her I'd be in the parking lot for a few hours. If she shows up to talk, awesome, I can be there for her to listen. If not, that's fine too. An offer, not a demand.


But of course she found that creepy. It *was* creepy. It's not what she needs. No means no. Okay. Fine. 


I feel like I'm ripping in half. She's going through all of this horrible stuff and I can't do a single thing to help. I'm just text on the other side of a screen. I needed to do *something* but even what little I can do is overstepping and creepy and rejected. I can't just sit back and watch you self-destruct, man. You have so few people that show they care about you. What am I supposed to do?