I do have mental illness and I am on disability. I was diagnosed a few years ago. I worked for many years, but began believing other people were talking about me and being mean to me. I still believe this. 
And, I believe my friends are still subtly trying to influence me through my contact with them. 
They think everything that happens to me is wrong and they are trying to tell me so. I wish they would just be straight forward about it. I don’t need to be gaslighted into having different behavior. If you want me to change, tell me what needs to change in a direct way. I do believe I’m being gaslighted to be a different person. It’s mean and I want it to stop. Just show me or tell me yourself! I don’t know why that’s so hard! 
I’m hoping for help or advice for this post. I’m sorry if this is the wrong place for this question.