im graduating high school soon and its dawning on me how much of it i wasted. i wasnt anything more than a below average student with no ties to anyone. i didnt join any clubs or make any friends at all. ive spent all of it totally alone. part of it is a lack of confidence from depression and autism, but i can only blame so much of it on that lol. its like my brain insists everything i do or say is weird, even if i know its totally normal. i dont even know how to begin to try interacting with people normally.

ive managed to get into college and im going to try so hard to change things, but it seems so overwhelming. i dont think ill be able to make such a drastic change so fast, and i dont think ill be able to keep living if i cant change. i just want to be happy and move past all of these regrets