So my list is BPD, PTSD, Major depressive disorder, anxiety of course, and PMDD.... I got a divorce and I'm happy I did because he was just continuing the trend of abuse I'd known my whole life. I didn't date for a while post separation and all that. I've been in therapy since before that all started. All that said....

I have a shit job where the other 2 male supervisors basically take their frustration out on me. I am looking for a new job, I swear. I'm a female. I'm dating someone and in all the "normal" checklists he's great. But for us there's the kicker of can this person handle  our mental health.  He doesn't understand, he takes me wanting to cancel as a personal slight and then I feel pressured all over again and resort to old bad habits.

My insurance sucks so I can only go to therapy every other week now instead of every week.... At this moment in time my Family doctor that handles all of my meds had me coming off one anti depressant and starting a new one. This is happening at the same time because the last time he just took me off of a medication and started a new one I nearly lost my mind and life.

I don't know how to help my boyfriend understand because he met me while I was stable and up until now I"ve been stable. My job is a huge factor in my instability and it's not the job but in fact the corporate overlords. I can't just quit. 

The depression is the biggest thing and people in general think and say I should just smile because it'll be ok, NO IT WON"T because I don't even know why it's not anymore. My doctors know and are trying to help. My mom know and is trying to help. The rest of my family doesn't care. Most importantly I don't know how to help my boyfriend understand seeing as this isn't common for me.

ANY helpful advice is welcome. I think I'm going to go try the gym for a bit. Thank you.