I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m trying so hard to appease as many people as I can well putting my own mental health aside and I just can’t do it anymore. I feel like I have no reason to be here. No respected my opinion or cares about my personal I interest. When I try to talk about what’s going on with me everyone is too busy or tells me I have too much time on my hands. So I stay alone in the dark hoping I can do it by myself but I just can’t.  I tried counseling but they just say what I already know. That I have depression, anxiety, ptsd, victims of abuse, and sexual harassment. They say how I can maybe help myself or take meds but I know meds fuck you up eventually so I try the natural way but it’s too hard. I don’t have the emotional support I thought I had so I’m just winging it by myself. I just can’t do it anymore. I’m so defeated and tired. I just want people to love me and be there for me.  I’m always alone. I’m always trying my best but it’s just not enough for people. I don’t want to die, but sometimes I feel like that’s the best thing. I won’t be a bother or stress anyone out. I know it’s bad because I have a autistic little brother and little sister but man it’s just so hard. I want to give up so bad. Fuck man