Home alone, don't know who to tell 😞

This is a first.. I've been dissociating for the better portion of my life, I know it all too well. I either trigger it intentionally (worst coping habit), or it is triggered by lack of emotional control, some automatic response to avoid pain for myself, &amp; those around me.

Tonight, out of nowhere, I shut off, couldn't blink, chest froze, knew what was happening. But this time, I couldn't move.. only look around with my eyes. 
The numb I physically felt reminded me of going under during mediation. I have no idea how long I sat here. I tried moving different parts of my body from their position, no avail. Finally coming out of it, I was able to gently tap one finger. It actually took me a few to feel "comfortable" with moving a muscle. I'm still sitting in the same spot, confused..

Now that I'm present again, my body is acting weird. Not too weird, just off. Keeps tensing &amp; locking up, you should see my creepy hand spasms. I looked it up, says it's common. Are any of you familiar with this? That shit was scary....