I'm in college and the school year for me gets out early to mid June. For normal people, this is an exciting time. For me, it's not. Because I'm going home and probably gonna have to do things that I really don't to do. 

So I have been working a volunteer job on my college campus since December, and it's been fine, but I have been doing it as an excuse to not work during the summer, because I really don't want to be screamed at for 4 months. However, it's a lose-lose situation for me, because then if I decide NOT to work this summer, then I will have more time at home, meaning everyone is going to be forcing me to do other things that are going to give me so much anxiety; I don't want to go to the doctor to get a check up. I don't want to go to the dentist, my teeth are fine. I don't want my aunt to take me to Canada to "spend time with me" because what she really wants to do is "fix my appearance" because she sees me as a doll and not a human being. I don't want to be forced to take drivers ed again because the previous time it took a bad toll on my mental health and if anything if I do take driver's ed sometime in the future I want to keep it a secret from my family so that there's no pressure. 

I just don't want summer to come because I can't stop thinking about all these things. Even now I'm afraid to go about my day on a regular school week because the longer I stay awake, the more time my thoughts have to start running resulting me being one step away from a panic attack. 

And just to clarify a few things because I know people in the comment section are going to say the typical stuff: no I can't just "say no" to going with my aunt. She has done favors for my mom in the past like giving us money and helping me move out last year of my dorm during summer because my parents don't have a car, so if I say no I just know that it's going to ruin the relationship between her and my immediate family. No I don't have a boyfriend that I could move in with, not allowed to have one. No I can't move in with friends, not allowed to do that, plus I really don't think that my friends would agree to that. Basically I'm not allowed to move out in general. 

Please help. The sense of dread is piling up on me day by day