It's just nothing but the same cycle for me - loneliness and depression &gt; over-attachment because someone showed me a little kindness &gt; driving them off with my weirdness, repeat. I just want this to end, I just want to be unfeeling and at the very least, content with what I am because I don't feel any ambition towards changing it - I don't mind dealing with PTSD and loneliness if it just means I can accept it and be emotionless.