I can’t seem to want to do anything else expect for hate myself and want to end my existence in this world. 

I’m in therapy,although only been able to meet once so far due to my therapist having to cancel due to illness 3 times now so I’m not sure id say I’m in therapy. I’ve gone through cbt and dbt and get how it cam help others but I can’t do anything to shake this feeling. 

I make my wife’s life miserable, I’m shit at my job, i haven’t had friends in 4 years now and just feels like I’m a lost cause. 

 I’ve been told there is a light at the end of the tunnel but honestly the tunnel is collapsing. I can’t seem to get what’s wrong with le explained probably for anyone to take me seriously.  I want help I know I need it and I know it’s my fault I can’t explain what’s wrong with me. 

I’m just so tired of being this mistake