Hey so I suffer from bipolar II &amp; anxiety. I also have an eating disorder and I WAS 3 years sober. I guess my eating disorder became my new addiction, I don’t know. But anyways, xanax used to be my best friend.  Taking Xanax lifted the weight of my pain and it was freeing. Sometimes I wonder why I ever got sober, dealing with my raw emotions have been so hard, I tried ending it one night back in January…my current fiancé found me in a hotel room. I relapsed that night after 3 years because I couldn’t live anymore. I guess what I’m saying is I’m really tired and sad. My first attempt was at 14 (currently 26). I’ve always felt sad since the youngest I could remember. I don’t like myself and I know I need to “love myself” but I don’t know how to, I don’t think I ever have. I feel really alone and my fiancé doesn’t like to talk about feelings and I’m not close with my family. I doubt anyone will see this but that’s pretty much it, and btw I’ve been sober since my attempt from January.
Btw I never posted on Reddit before, so hi everyone