I went to a psychiatrist yesterday and am typing this as i am smashed. I am so, so scared. My psychologist said i was maybe 90% likely to be BPD and even tho i had come to that conclusion myself i am scared, My psychiatrist, a new one and i've never been to a psychiatrist before, said i should start with Lovan and then after 2 weeks or so, start on lamotrigene. I'm really trying to understand myself and i know i need meds. But i am scared. 

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Please help me, please, someone, anyone. I'm sorry everyone i hate it but please tell me i'll be ok. I am drunk and have benzos of my girlfriend a metre away. Please tell me it'll be ok. I use to think nihilism was just ok for me, because if life was pointless so was death. But now i feel both is death. Please, i'm sorry but please help