I don’t wanna die, I just want the pain to stop. I’m 30 weeks pregnant and depression is taking over my life. I’ve always had depression. Even before I was pregnant. I tried taking my life 2 years ago and spent 11 days in the mental hospital after for them to just shove medicine down my throat and here we are 2 years later. I’m having those feelings again. My boyfriend doesn’t understand and just tells me I need help. But what helps? I’m tired of going from doctor to doctor. They don’t care. You can’t tell them how you’re actually feeling without them wanting to lock you up like a criminal or crazy person. Being locked up against my will in a hospital doesn’t help. Having medication and medication shoved down my throat doesn’t help. I’ve been on over 20 in the past couple years. It’s only made me worse. I’ve tried therapy. I can talk about stuff all day long, it doesn’t change it or make it go away. I feel hopeless. Nothing brings me joy anymore. I’m not even excited to be pregnant anymore. I don’t feel like Im going to be a good mother when I can’t even take care of myself. I feel like there is no way out of this misery. 😔😥