i feel like im being gaslit by every person in my life. i get told to do something a certain way, so i do it, but then the boss changes his mind and i get in trouble for doing what im told. and instead of just dealing with it and apologizing, i fight it. "but this is what you told me to do last time" "didnt we just decide not to do that" etc etc

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your boss doesnt want you to fight with them. why the fuck cant i keep my mouth shut??? what is wrong with me????

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this is the best job ive ever had. why am i unable to do anything right???????? 

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i now have to leave this city, the one place i kind of fit in, and move back in with my mother 1000 miles away. when i told her, all she did was get mad at me and ask me why i cant just keep my mouth shut. why i feel the need to argue over everything. sorry that you FUCKING RAISED ME THIS WAY. 

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why do i even care? its not like i had any friends here. the rent is too high. 

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i dont want to keep doing this. i dont want to wake up tomorrow and have to face this. i thought i had finally found somewhere where people understood me but i guess not.