I had a lot of issues with my parents growing up. They do what they think is right but a lot of messed up stuff has happened over the years. 

They're not horrible people and they've also done a lot to support me, but the lows aren't really worth the highs for me anymore. 

My dad doesn't really contact me, so we only talk when I come to visit them or vice versa. Even though sometimes I wish he'd reach out more, I'm pretty happy with this level of contact tbh. My mum on the other hand calls me from anywhere between 3 times a week to 4-5 times a day. Most of the time it's quick calls but it's a lot and I've asked her multiple times not to call so often. A lot of the time it will be functional calls e.g. I've found this of yours, where do you want me to put it, but a lot of the time they're really just uneccassary excuses to talk. It's gotten to the point where this is just irritating to me and sometimes I just want to get on with my day. 

I get that she means well but she can be a difficult person to interact with, especially so often. It also means that I don't really feel that independent, even though I moved out two years ago, she still calls me to remind me to get things done. She also tells me a lot that I look like a child (I'm 5'1 so this is probably why). I understand that in a lot of way this is just her trying to show affection and 'baby' me but the amount she says stuff like this is infantalising. Part of this is my own self-esteem issues, but being nagged so much about basic things makes me feel useless, like she doesn't think I'm capable of remembering this stuff myself. 

This coupled with the fact that we argue and lot and I have to listen to her and my dad argue a lot, and how she treated me as a child makes me want to cut back on the amount of time I spend interacting with her. The problem is, she doesn't really have any respect for boundaries e.g. if I get upset in a argument and say I want to be on my own, she will literally force the door open to get into my room. I feel like I have no control over the amount of time, energy and attention I have to give to her. 

The problem is my mum also has traits of bpd and I know that a lot of what she does is to try and have control over things and to try and soothe her own anxiety and stress, but it's just too much for me. 

Any advice on how to deal with the guilt of this and any practical advice of how to limit contact would be really appreciated as I've been struggling with trying to do this for a while now.