everything around me is so quite. my family’s snoring is the only thing that lurks in my ears, but it’s peaceful. i can hear my dog sleeping. but you wanna know what i can also hear? my head. pounding. cymbals. screaming. shouting. it’s like a fucking bomb zone in there. so i hold it in, i don’t scream or let it out. in fact i can’t even let it out because i am so constrained and have no way of coping because i’m too much of a little bitch to even do anything. i’m scared of knives and needles and death and drugs and alcohol. but one day i’ll turn to them. i twitch and jump and hit myself because i’m so fed up with the loudness i don’t know how else to handle it. i’m done. i’m literally fucking done. can someone submit me to a ducking mental hospital already??? i’m 14. i should be enjoying my goddamn life and instead i’m here having no friends no life and no plan on how to cope with any of the bullshit i put up with