The first time I tried to kill myself, I was 8. I was happy then until around 16, and have had multiple attempts since then and am exhausted. I believe I will live again. I believe we all will. I’m unhappy with this life and want a fresh start. Or, I just want it to be over. I don’t care what comes after. I just want this to end. 

Thankfully, I finally have a plan. 

I’m going to save up for a few months until I get my passport, then I’m going to take care of all loose ends by mailing things to old friends/family, writing notes, etc. I’ll permanently delete all emails and social media. Then, I’m going to take a lot of edibles, go out near the creek, lay in the water, and fall asleep. I’ll do this in December as it gets very very cold up here and I’m sure the edibles would keep me asleep long enough for my heart to stop.

I have no friends to tell this to. I just want to put this out here.