So I’m in my first trimester and I’m feeling mood swings again. My bf and roommate decided to drop the surprise on me today that we will be having guests over. So of course I’m upset as hell and can’t get my bf to understand why. I just spent the last two days feeling like absolute shit due to horrible motion sickness and headaches. I wake up feeling in a great mood and start cleaning the house (without much help) and then I’m told this??? I already hate the fact I am no longer drinking and smoking (obviously because my child means more) but then to have people over so they can all do it around me? Because I’ll be expected to hang out and “have fun.” But this shit isn’t fucking fun to me. I moved 3 hours away from most of my family and all the friends I could even have. The one friend I do have here is out of town on vacation. All the people coming over are my bfs and roommates friends. It’s like if I’m upset about it my boyfriend just gets upset. I’ve tried explaining before that this ISNT fun for me. Then the hypocrisy of it all is my bf will say “you can have fun being sober you don’t need to smoke or drink.” Okay then you fucking do it. 

I feel so god damn alone but I can’t say anything because I feel like it’ll just come off as me being crazy. I wish I could be happier and happy for him but this doesn’t feel fair. I didn’t make this baby alone but it sure seems like I’m the only one actually changing along with it. I have a toddler from a previous relationship so my issue with having people over and being told last minute isn’t anything new.