I went for a half hour massage today, first time I've felt another touch my skin in years. As good as a massage can be. Beforehand I was surrounded by friends or couples. I welled up in the Jacuzzi and after in the relaxation room. I'm so incredibly lonely. This depression  ever gives me a break and I sink in pain. Most people look forward to the weekend. I'm full of tears and alone. How can I have any hope for better.