I don’t know where to start. I just need to let it out to someone but I have no one to speak with. My mental health is terrible and my bf wants me to leave the home. Everyone in his family does. I’m pathetic, I can’t sustain a job because I don’t have the ‘get the fuck up’ mentality and it drags me down back to bed to mope. I can’t get past my own thoughts to better myself. It’s my fault our relationship is failing. Despite the bad things he has said to me I still know it’s my fault. My depression makes everyone around me worse. I can’t go home to my parents, leaving there was the best decision for me. Enduring 18 years of mental and physical abuse doesn’t make it look appealing to go back. I guess I’m writing this because no one else in my life understands how I feel everyday. I never want to do anything and I give up easily. Suicidal thoughts are a common occurrence now too because of how things have been. I wish I had someone to pat my back and comfort me. I wish I could hug my mom. I wish for a lot of things, I wish my dog would come back to life and be here with me. If anyone even bothers reading this, thanks.