I still live at home which is why the issue arises. My parents live with me and are married. I have a suspicion there is and has been something wrong with my mom for some time now but she seems to be getting worse with each passing month. 

Last month my dad caught her trying to gaslight me-she asked me for my opinion on something, then when I gave it to her she proceeded to tell me how hers was better because she has more experience, is older, etc and then proceeded to rip my opinion apart and tell me mine was completely wrong. My dad stopped her before she went further.

The second issue came about when she purchased a brand new, expensive luxury car. She took a photograph of it, uploaded it to HER Instagram and labeled it "cold\_desert\_winter's \_\_\_\_\_\_ new car!" so essentially what she did was insinuate to friends and family members that it was my new vehicle. This is the problematic part-I have been struggling financially for a very, very long time. I cannot even afford to pay my own rent, much less a car that would cost a full year's salary. My family all knows this. She deliberately made me look terrible and then REFUSED to change the caption or take the picture down. She thought it was a joke. I begged her repeatedly to remove it, my dad even got mad at her but she kept it up. I still haven't been able to clear the issue with all my family members.

The last issue is that my cousin came over to visit and while she was here she took a shower. She came down for dinner later but the next day my mom was really upset about her having showered at our house. She started getting really upset, then she called me and demanded that I send my cousin a text letting her know please not to shower at our home. I asked her to send it, she hung up on me. I called her back and she demanded I send the message and that she wanted proof of it within the hour, so I did, because otherwise she either won't speak to me or will just yell at me and throw hurtful insults. I sent the message but regretted it immediately. My cousin and I get along very well and she is one of the few people I speak to on even a semi-regular basis. I sent another message apologizing and later on my dad criticized me for not having a backbone and for listening to my mom. I'm worried my cousin will be very angry and hurt with me and I don't blame her. 

This is very triggering and stressful for me and I keep dissasociating and going into anxiety and shame spirals over all this. I can't move out because I simply can't afford it. I feel like my mom is trying to keep me codependent forever and simultaneously 'force' me to cut off or destroy all my relationships so I'm forced to depend on her and live with her forever. I would rather \*\*\*\* my own throat than live with her alone the rest of my life. 

This all just such fucking bs and I'm having a really hard time coping with this. Any input, advice, stories, or anything is appreciated. BPD sucks already but having a mom who acts like this is like living in a fucking hell.