Sorry if this belongs more in /advice or even /depression. I just need to vent and I can't really talk to anyone I know about it. I'm also sorry for intentionally being vague about what I do for a living. Bear with me. 

I've worked at my current job for the last 7 years. It had an intensive training process (18 weeks) but eventually I graduated training and started my job. Not long after, I started getting burnt out because it wasn't all I thought it would be, and I was having to pull more than my fair share of the work load. After two and half years of that I was ready to leave. I couldn't take working here any longer. I interviewed for and was offered an entry-level manual labor job. I then put in my two weeks' notice and proceeded to be guilted into staying at my job by my parents. Now at this point I'm married with no kids, but I've always been close to my parents and definitely have issues about pleasing them. So even when I confided in my father that I was damn near suicidal due to the stress of my job, I was still pressured into staying. I did go to a therapist, which helped, but I was stuck at this same ol job.

Thankfully a change in position came available and I interviewed for and got that position. I absolutely love this position, and it's my favorite thing I've ever done. I get to actually help people and see the positive impact I have on people. Not only that, but that people I work with in this position genuinely appreciate me and are glad to have me. I have even received state-wide awards for things I've done in this position. However, a few months out of the year I have to go back to my old position. I am not appreciated in this position, do not enjoy it, and frankly I'm not great at it. There's no way around having to work this other position every year, so I'm just stuck in this cycle.

I keep sticking around because the pay and benefits are good, but also because I'm going to let my parents down if I leave for a job that provides anything less that I get now. My wife 100% supports me and just wants me to be happy, but I'm a slave to pleasing my parents. While I love the one good position that I get to do for most of the year, my hatred and dread for the other position completely trumps that joy. 

I have finally gone back to college, but I'm a couple years away from earning my B.S. Even then, I don't know what I'm going to do with it. I feel like to most people (maybe all of you) it seems obvious to stay here since I love what I get to do for most of the year, and I'll have a college degree in a couple years anyway. But the stress from this job, the details of the job (this field is near the top in heart disease, diabetes, and suicides), and my own anxiety about it keep pushing me to leave. I often feel like I'm drowning, like I'm in a hole in the ground that's slowly filling with water and I'm chained to the bottom of the hole.

Sorry if this hasn't been the clearest post. I feel like there's a lot more points I could make or examples to give, but I'm so on edge right now I can't think straight. I just need to vent to someone, and like I said at the beginning, I can't really talk to anyone I know about this. Again, my wife is super supportive and I do talk to her, but I worry about my issues impacting her.