Undiagnosed for 30+ years, but I felt like the diagnosis opened clouds to reveal how I was fucked up after years of wondering what was wrong. So I got to work on myself doing DBT, etc. But my first relationship after realizing it all seemed to bring out even more borderline behavior, things I hadn't really done befor, and amplifying others. Disclosure, I revealed my BPD to my partner, who researched it thoroughly. Just wondering if any of you have struggled more in some relationships than others with BPD symptoms and if there's a connection to one or both partners knowing the diagnosis.

Also, had a therapist tell me they usually don't tell their patients about the diagnosis because it becomes part of their changing identity. Any experience with this?

Sorry to lump questions together, thanks for responses.