Attempted suicide,  again.

Third time this year I've been pulled into the hospital by police, and third time I've managed to convince them I'm okay and don't need to be in a ward.

I honestly just don't know what to do anymore. I want to get better, I do,  but every therapist I've dealt with over the past decade has always been useless. I refuse to go on medication but perhaps it's a good idea.

I'm scared. I'm hurt, and it keeps getting worse no matter what I do.

I was diagnosed four years ago, and the syptoms all trace back to when I was around eight years old, I'm twenty-one now. Nearly fourteen years of this pain and suffering. 

I just want it to be over.