So, I might end up deleting this later once I end up thinking it’s stupid. But in the mean time, here we go...

I’ve always dealt with so many different issues. I won’t get into all the details now but it really hasn’t been an easy few years. I always go though a pattern of seeking help and then thinking that I’m faking everything and end up leaving treatment. I have known for years that something really isn’t right. No matter what I experience on a day to day basis, I constantly question if what I’m feeling is real or if I’m just manipulating myself into thinking so.

I know deep down that there is something wrong. I know deep down that there is a lot wrong. I’m surviving but I am not okay. But, like always, I find it hard to actually pick up my phone to make the call to my doctor. I don’t know what’s real or who I am.

I would love to hear some of your opinions and experiences if you feel this way. I feel that it may help me in realizing that I really have a problem and I’m not faking it. Thank you all in advance.

Td;lr: Feel like I’m faking all my symptoms. Would like to hear your own experiences with this feeling.