kay so this happened Halloween of 2021. id been going thru a lot with my mom kicking me out and being homeless. id been out of her crib for about a month, id been in and out of her place for about 4 months now. eventually the cops found out where i was staying and sent me back to my moms place this was holloween weekend and i already was gonna go do some shit but now she had me locked in my room. 

i had some Percocet's and some Benadryl stashed away and had managed to steal some bottles of liquor from a store. so it starts getting late on Halloween and im stuck at my house with no phone no books nothing. so i start getting super into my thoughts just thinking about a lot of shit and how my life is gonna be shit and everything's fucked up and im just garbage etc. 

so i go take off this vent i hid shit in i had 15 benadryl bout 60 mgs of oxy and id yoinked 4 fucking bottles of liqour from this store (im a menace lmao) started by railing 20 mgs of oxy and started drinking first a bottle of smirnoffs it tasted like shit so i only drank about half the bottle drank an entire 5th of hennesy i remember taking 20 more mgs of oxy and dont remember much else.

 well i ended up taking the benadryl too i remember having really fucking wierd dreams. like the most memorable one i was in this like void there was nothing just me. at least my consience was there or soul or whatever. its so hard to explain like i saw all these memories of my childhood and life but its like i was experiencing this in 3rd person just watching the memory. time was irrelavent this could have been a lifetime or only a couple minutes. than everything just started to get brighter and super overwhelming yet serene.

i just kept telling myself to go to sleep and eventually i did.

i dont remember much of the next day everything was a blur i remember just being awake and not being able to comprehend why i was alive i started walking towards the train tracks near my house (the state i lived in has really good public transport so there be trains everywhere ) than i got tackled by the cops im guessing i was trying to fight lmao went to the ER for about a day than to a mental hospital for a couple weeks. 

&amp;#x200B;

since than my life has changed a lot and im just tryna get thru it livin the struggle bus