I have a parent that has had depression that has progressively worsened over the last 5 years. They are an alcoholic and have had suicidal tendencies (mainly overdosing) alongside a manipulative behaviour. 

Over the years I have begun distancing myself more and more with them due to my own mental health declining and helping seeming to have little to no affect long term help, and now only see them every few months, call every other week and text here and there.

I’m unsure whether they will ever get better as they never seem to help themselves. They often call telling my they are trying to kill themselves and and any conversation day or night that doesn’t start that way will still typically end like it (have heard them say they’re going to die probably 100 times now which affects me every time I hear it) 2 years ago they went to rehab but checked themselves out early, and this year they received a dui and house arrest. They also lie and manipulate me often to the point where I don’t know what to believe any more (telling me they’re in hospital/dying when they’re not and hiding when I come over to check, telling me I don’t love/see them even though I tell them I love them often and they cancel plans often). Family (they’re siblings) have primarily helped them to get better but have also distanced themselves slightly.

Even this morning they called to tell me they have liver failure (not sure if I believe) and that “this is the last time you’re going to speak to me, I’m ending it” where I had to hang up.

They were there for me always when growing up and these last 5 years have been extremely hard to see. I’m 21 now and feel like I should be helping but don’t know how I would genuinely help. They say they want to get better however they never do whether that’s (medication/changing medication, rehab, therapy, lifestyle changes etc.)

I’m typing this partially to help my conscience as if things get better or worse I want to know I did what I should have done. I’m also worried that they’re behaviour may be genetic due to noticing a few small similarities already.

Any advice to help is appreciated!

Sorry for keeping it a bit vague, don’t want to get too personal.

TL:DR: Have a parent with severe long term depression, suicidal thoughts, and poor overall well-being that has got worse over 5 years. What to do?