Hey guys,

So I got diagnosed two years ago after some particularly difficult times in my life. BPD had always been in the background - and then it came rampaging into the forefront of my life.

I woke up today after a hefty night of drinking. I don't even remember wanting to drink. I have an image in my mind - like a still - of someone I met for a drink. And it worries me. I don't know if I did something with this person, or if it was a dream. My dreams after drinking are usually pretty vivid.

I guess I'm just tired of all the 'what ifs' or 'what did I do' questions that haunt my brain. BPD makes me feel like I'm living fragments of a life, and I'm really tired of it. I get scared if I've done things, imagined them, lost chunks of time - BPD is the ultimate piss-take of life.

Here's hoping my next lot of Zoloft does the trick.