From the day I realized I wouldn't become a professional footballer, my life has just went downwards... I realized my dreams wouldn't be fulfilled, and that no matter what I do, I will not be the best at it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a "good" looking young man, got a girlfriend and soon I will start in the military. But what for?

I will never become the best looking guy that my girlfriend have seen, or the one giving her the best sex she's ever had.
My personality is nothing special and it can easily be replaced by another guy, if she wants to.
I will never get to live in an expensive house, because unfortunately I'm not really the type of guy who likes to study. So I've chosen the military. And we all know, bad salary, unappreciated job, life at stake and so on... Nothing really makes sense for me anymore, and I wish I end my days fighting for the country I once loved...

Today's society is just really not for me, I guess. Neither am I a social-media guy who posts about everything I do, so others can see it. I feel like I live in a very lonely and ignorant world, where everyone seems to ignore me or has forgotten about me.

Like I saw on another post: I hope death is like sleeping, because then I can dream about the world and things I really wanted...

Btw, I am white, and you shouldn't feel any sympathy nor empathy for me...