Like many borderlines, I have spent my life obsessively and inappropriately crushing on people who don’t like me back. In the past, I would get totally obsessed with changing myself to win someone over, picking over every bit of communication for hidden messages that they like me back, the works.

I have reached a point where I can rationally tell myself that not everyone will like me, and that’s fine, plenty of other people do. I know better than to waste my time fruitlessly trying to win anyone over.

Despite this, all I can think about right now is the guy I’m crushing on. We are part of the same athletic community and see each other several times per week. I shot my shot with him a couple of weeks ago, and ever since he has pretty clearly been avoiding me. I don’t want to make him more uncomfortable so I have been giving him space, cut off contact on social media, basically given up on ever speaking to him again.

But my mind has gotten so used to daydreaming about him that it’s hard to stop. I’m still fantasizing about him reaching out, how the conversation will go down. Thinking about him lights up all of the reward centres in my brain; nothing compares.

I’m seeking any advice, tips, rituals that have worked for you guys when moving on from crushes. Alternatively, if you want to vent about your past or current crushes, feel free to do so :)