sooo i been having this habit of not taking my pill but vividly remembering taking my pill and vice versa. Last night i guess i forgot. i couldn’t sleep and so i started getting this feeling my partner is cheating on me- which isn’t fair because he hasn’t given me a reason to distrust him, plus he’s the father of my children. We have eachothers passwords but we don’t go through eachothers phones but last night it just felt so real.. my gut was telling me he is cheating look through his phone. i did. i went through everything and i feel like shit. he woke up to see me frantically scrolling his email. i found ashley madison emails and i lost it.. he claims he isn’t on there and it was just spam and i sort of believe it because he is very cheap and wouldn’t pay for services like that but still he says it’s just spam and he’s never had an account before but still i just can’t chill out. he also cleared his search history and stories he’s replied to history on instagram so i feel so sketched. once again i know i should not have looked through his stuff because i definitely fucked around and found out. We have separated before for my extreme jealousy issues. anyone else with bipolar stu ruffle with intense insecurity, inferiority issues and jealousy i feel like i don’t even want to exist because of the shame and guilt From invading his privacy on top of what i found.