I have never been able to hold a job. I simply CANNOT get stable enough to work. I have been to over 40 interviews over the years. Gotten hired and then never was able to bring myself to show up the first day. I have extreme anxiety and paranoia. I was on benzos for years but my new doctor just took me off because she was worried of the long term effects on my memory. Now im so lost and we are struggling financially. 

I want to work. I really really do. I try over and over again but being in public and controlling my emotions in a work setting proves too dificult for me. I feel so guilty for waisting the time of emploerys at interviews and starting hiring processes only for me to never show up. Along with BPD I also am diagnosed with childhood PTSD and anxiety with periods of psychosis. I have extensive medical records dating back to 13 years old. 

Does any one else get social security for this stuff? How did you go about doing it? I know I will never be able to work. Not even just due to BPD but the periods of psychosis basically put an end to all hope for holding a steady job...