I’m mid episode so please excuse me if I’m not clear with my thoughts. I’ve experienced something with my partner and it’s bringing me back to my childhood in a way.

My partner and I got into a disagreement where they mistook what I said and started getting angry at me over it. They kept cutting me off when i would try to explain myself. They then decided to cut the call short and hang up on me because my face started getting red. I started crying after they hung up on me it’s really embarrassing I was on a walk, overall crying was my fault I know this.

Still this really reminds me of when I was a child. If I was upset over anything I wouldn’t be allowed to explain why I’m upset. It was straight to punishment for not acting how I’m suppose to. I would be yelled at, sent to my room, ignored. And I would sob for hours. 

I remember being really upset that I wasn’t allowed to explain why I was upset. I get this same feeling with my partner often. Everything is automatically my fault and I’m not allowed to explain myself without him getting more angry at me. I’m punished by being ignored until he deems me “better”. 

I’m crying. I’m having full episode over this. My roommates got really angry at me for coming home crying hard. I get it I know I shouldn’t act like this I hate this I wish I wasn’t like this.I’m tagging this as seeking support because I need to calm down from this episode and I can’t.