Greetings all!

My name is nick and I’m 22. I’m curious if anyone has any advice for me and my situation. 

I’m on the fence of having BPD, as my psychologist said that I do display the traits of having BPD, but I’m usually so level headed and calm about everything.  

With my BPD, my brain is split in two. An emotional side and a logical side. Only one side is really in control and it can fluctuate. My natural response when I have extreme emotions is to stop and think it through. I rarely ever get angry and I only get very angry when people cross certain lines but I try to be as level headed as possible. I’m on Zoloft and Wellbutrin and am having a rough time lately as I have to drop out of both classes this semester (engineering physics and calc 2, this is my second time taking calc 2) because taking these classes online is far more difficult than taking it in class and it has me super depressed about it. My degree is taking forever and on top of this I fell in love with my German exchange student whose house I lived in for two weeks and I went back there last year and it still breaks my heart I can’t be with her. I literally think about her every day and I’ve never met someone who I get along with as well as I do with her. Half the time I’m focused on my degree, and the other half of the time I’m sad about not being with her. This constant fluctuations in my emotions make it hard to stick to one thing as the ONLY chance I have of Being with her is if I get my degree and move to Germany which id totally do but my degree is taking forever. Last time I went there we tried doing some sexual stuff but stopped as it didn’t feel the same as the first time (which was spontaneous and unexpected) and she said she doesn’t think anything more can happen between us as we live in different countries and we couldn’t seem to get the spark going again, I haven’t really talked to her about it since I first met her three years ago. 

My only hope is to be the best person I can be, financially, physically, and mentally but I’m broke, haven’t gone to the gym in months, and my degree is taking forever. I need to be far more in control and need to find a way to focus myself, 


Any advice on my situation?