I had an episode the other day and called my friend for help mid freak out. He was seemingly overwhelmed by the mess that I was and didn’t know how to deal with it. It kinda spiraled and I sent a bunch of messages that entailed basically “Sorry for bothering you, don’t worry about me, it was wrong to react the way I did.” Etc. Looking back at them now they do read as manipulative but then again I was deep in it (I feel it still shouldn’t excuse it). He sent me this long list of messages after the fact telling me how he was upset and didn’t feel valued as a friend. How my constant need for confirmation that we are still indeed friends hurts him. I love that man to the moon and back, he is one of my closet friends and to think I may have just lost that closeness hurts. I don’t know how to tell him that I do care about him and that I can’t help some of my problems. He claims to still want to be friends but I’m worried this will happen again. I don’t know what to do and I’m also scared I’ll break down if I see him again. And I don’t know how to tell him (or if he’ll even listen) that I am sorry and I do care about him.