By now, I’m sure you’ve noticed that there is no permanence in our emotions.

You will not always be angry. You will not always be sad. You will not always be happy either.

Feelings come and go, although some negative feelings linger longer than we would like.

I used to focus on my negative emotions and I thought they would never end. That caused me to act out in extreme ways instead of sitting with those emotions and letting them pass.

I always felt worse when I acted out. Learning to control that seriously changed my life.

The power is in our hands. You can learn to distract yourself in a painful situation and focus on the good instead.

It’s one of the first skills I learned in DBT. Distract and self soothe. A huge part of self soothe for me is gratitude.

Instead of, “wow, that person really hurt me” I can focus on other positive friendships I have and other healthy relationships in my life. In the past I would get focused and obsessive over people that hurt me. That obsession caused me a lot more hurt than those people ever did in the long run.

Being able to stay calm in these situations is priceless. I learned these situations typically resolve themselves over time or I stop caring and move on. If you focus on darkness, you will only see darkness. There is so much beauty out there, and so much to be grateful for.

Look at this technology in your hands. The internet and access to Reddit that connects us all. You are living in a time where you can learn absolutely anything with a quick google search. 

The things I used to be sad over aren’t worth being sad over anymore. Nothing and no one is worth your mental health and happiness.

You can be whoever you want to be. Look for the rainbow, look for the stars, find them in yourself.