I’m never really happy, I’m only 17 but after i lost my most trusted family member last year, it’s been even worse ever since. I seem to judge everything I do, I constantly remind my self of everything I am ashamed of and hate on my own image. I try not to, I go gym it’s my favourite thing to do But it is a short term cure for my bad self image and 0 social life. I’ve tried making friends but my “dullness” eventually makes them leave. 
The people left I hold high, clearly don’t hold me in any high regard due to their lack of responses.

I really just don’t enjoy much and have 0 social life, I’ve tried gym and reading which have helped but they are just distractions.