Has anyone taken Vraylar?

Hi guys. I hope it is okay for me to post here and ask a question. I have schizoaffective disorder and I asked people in the schizoaffective sub first, but this sub seems more active and I figure that some of you might also have experience with Vraylar. 

I agreed to go back on an antipsychotic again because my therapist and my doctor were talking about higher levels of care and my husband kept asking me if I needed to go to the hospital again, so I was starting to get the feeling that I was acting weird without really knowing it and I was stressing people out. I try to trust other people's thoughts even though it is hard because a lot of the time I can't tell so well. My doctor recommended me vraylar and prescribed it to me on Tuesday, saying it was weight neutral. I have looked it up on the internet and it seems 8 percent of users gain weight and the average gain after 48 weeks of treatment is 5.5 lbs. I am also concerned about the possibility of developing high blood sugar, high cholesterol or diabetes, as well as metabolic changes.

I have been struggling with anorexia for a long time and have been underweight for most of the time since I developed my disorder. I am so terrified of weight gain that it makes it hard for me to take medicine, in addition to just being worried about poisoning myself. I absolutely wouldn't be able to handle gaining weight, or not being able to lose weight when I want to, because it is one of the few ways that works for me to cope with stress. So this is my number one concern. 

I would appreciate it so much if anyone who's taken vraylar could tell me what their experience was like. Did you gain weight? Did it make it harder to lose weight? Did you have other side effects? 

Also, please don't tell me I just need to accept it, because I can't. I would try to kill myself. The last time I heard someone say something like that was in a NAMI video in a hospital and it scared me so bad I freaked out and had a panic attack. 

Thank you for reading and sorry this is so long. I hope you're all okay.