I keep telling myself everything will get better but it’s gotten worse as time has gone on. My fiancé who I was supposed to marry last Saturday and I went separate ways in May. Break up was mutual but for some reason she went out and spread a bunch of stuff about me that made me look like a complete piece of shit. I have lost most of my friends bc of the things she has said.

I have been so depressed I have just been non stop angry. This anger has resulted in fights with my family constantly and my relationship with them is crumbling. 

I honestly wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up. I often think about suicide but I just can’t bring myself to actually do it. I am in so much pain and everyone hates me and I have no friends now. I am alone with all of this and the pain is becoming too much to handle. I have cried out for help to my “friends” and never get a response. I can’t help but think about dying so that these people will regret abandoning me when I needed them most.