I’ve been having shit last 2 days and I really hoped my birthday would be different. It was something I wanted to look forward to. I wanted to feel special and happy. 
I will spend this day in bed crying, just like the past days and more days to come. 
Everything seems so hopeless. I don’t want to live anymore with this pain. 
I will try to distract myself but it rarely works. 
Maybe I don’t deserve to be happy.