i (21m) can do daily tasks like sleep, get out of bed, eat well, get dressed, go to classes, interact with people etc etc

these things aren't impossible to me

but i know something is wrong and has been for years. im constantly feeling dread, doubt, insecurity. i constantly isolate myself from those who care about me. i have suicidal thoughts and occasionally self harm. im never well rested despite sleeping a full night's sleep. i get violentally sick to my stomach multiple times a day.

overwhelming dread, overthinking, no self worth, sabotaging things that seem to good, punishing myself, 

i can fall apart emotionally, but at the end of the day i can still take care of myself. i started seeing a therapist a few months ago but it's not helping. i already know the root causes and the logical arguments against how i feel. but none of that helps me or changes how i feel. 

my next resort is try and get an evaluation to see if meds might help me. 

but i feel like my depression isn't what other people talk about when they say depression. its not stopping me from functioning. but i know im not okay at all and living like this for years is so fucking hard and it keeps getting worse and worse. but because of the fact that i can take care of myself makes me think that whatever is going on isn't severe.

its so frustrating i don't know what the fuck is wrong with me and im in a lot of pain and i don't know what to do