I was able to experience happiness without doubting thoughts or negative intrusive thoughts. It was pure bliss...now I'm back to living in hell. Is that all I'm allowed to have at a time? Two days? 



I'm so angry with this disorder. I felt my mood shifting last night and tried to fight it, to cling to the greatest feelings I've had in a long time but I was overwhelmed by the anger and sadness. It won. I want to be happy for more than a second. I want life to feel good instead of this up and down round about way of life.  Feels like I'm always taking two steps forward and ten backwards in anything and everything I do. 