Yesterday, I gave my illness a name in order to distance myself from behaviour that I'm ashamed of, things I say, feel and do that doesn't feel like "the real me" you know. I've been thinking of doing it for a while but have been afraid it would be counter productive, giving an excuse to bad behaviour and making it harder to take responsibility and try to better myself.

But what happened was, the moment I named it... I realised that it wasn't some sick demon living in my brain that I could put blame on and hate for what it does.

It was my damaged inner child.

And all I felt was such a strong urge to nurture her, take care of her, make her feel loved and safe. Help her build her self worth, teaching her that she is amazing just the way she is, she doesn't have to try to fit with society's or anyone's  expectations. 

I want to spend time with her, play with her, be her best friend. If someone hurts her, I will help her through it, tell her it's okay to feel hurt, sad and angry, but to not let it engulf our mind and instead focusing on other things, things that makes us feel good.

Could this be a step to "becoming your own FP"? Because it's not "the adult/conscious me" that needs a stand in parent. It's my broken inner child. So if adult me can be the FP of that bpd part, the damaged child part, perhaps that can be a path to becoming whole and independent.

Anyone else tried naming their bpd? What were your experiences?