Two years ago it started. He forced me the first time. I was in this abusive, this toxic relationship for 2 years. I can't stop the flashbacks. I can't stop feeling his hand between my legs. I can't stop feeling his breath in the nape of my neck. I can't stop thinking about his body on top of mine. I was to weak to get him off not strong enough to defend myself, to keep him off me. And once I was it was to late. He broke me.

Lately I don't know what to do. Going outside is hard, eating is close to impossible and I'm just suspicious of anyone. I just want to punch my punching bag I want to run, I want to brake stuff. I want to feel pain that will over play what is going on inside of me. I want to see something heal.

2 years ago I got raped the first time and many times after that. 2 years I lost a a part of myself.