One of the things I resent hearing the most is that "you have to want to be helped" or any variation of it, like "no one can help you but yourself" or "you can't be helped if you don't want to try". I think it's one of those things that people find acceptable to tell to people who seem 'sort of sad', tired, lazy, or other signs of high functioning depressed people. But at the same time, most people definitely wouldn't want to say it to someone they knew has already tried something or are heavily depressed unless if they're REALLY the "tough love" type people (which also frustrates me). I'm not going to be mopey, rude, or make things worse for myself by telling people otherwise so I just let them assume I'm only kind of sad. But it drives me insane. Telling someone they have to try to want things to get better just makes things so much worse because I just tell them "yeah" as if I haven't wanted to die every day for the last several weeks consecutively. I want to tell them I don't want to try. I don't care if things get better. I don't have goals that I want to stick around for. I truly do not care. I don't want to be here and I don't want to have to fight so fucking hard just to feel okay for a little bit, before what? It goes downhill again? 

I know it can get better and I understand that those thoughts are my brain fighting to find reasons to give up but it's just genuinely so frustrating hearing it from people because it does not fucking help. Yes I know eating better, exercising, fixing my sleeping schedule, making plans, setting small goals, or literally any ounce of effort at all might contribute to me feeling better but the depression will never just fucking go away and it's so exhausting hoping that people will understand that. I am glad for the people who don't know what it's like, to think that sadness is an effect of overthinking or temporary problems, but giving me (usually unsolicited) advice is not the way to go. Telling me it will get better and to think of the things I want to stick around for most often makes me want to die even sooner because I don't even have goals that motivate me to stay. I'm just here because I'm too much of a pussy to try to die.