(please delete if not allowed) i just don’t know how i’m meant to live my life like this anymore especially not for a lifetime, i have had thoughts of wanting to end it since my earliest memories so something like 6/7 and they have just seemed to stay, every single day 24 fucking 7. i wont go on because im sure the bpd community understands how im feeling, hense why im posting in here, no one else understands what it’s like, yes sometimes i am a somewhat functioning human but i will never not have that constant stinging pain inside, even when i’m laughing and smiling, i’m just masking because despite anything i will forever be in pain, i have healed alot over the years id like to say, or i’ve just got better at handling things but there’s only so much i can take, it’s though i am like a glass window, a few cracks and i’ll still be standing, but there’s only so many cracks i can take before i will break. i’m not expecting anyone to say anything to this, just hope someone out there understands