I'm not good at making friends. I never have been. I end up hid in a corner until I make one, then scare them away with the combo of depressive times and how loud I can be around people I feel comfortable with... 

I made a friend. And then another. I was happy. We talked a lot, similar taste in games, made group chats... 

I know things change. Maybe it's just that we're all busy with work, but... I don't know. I try my best between working 2 jobs for 60 hours a week and pure exhaustion to talk to them. But... they never seem to make an effort back. I'm always the one initiating conversation in our group chat now. I stopped saying anything a few days ago, and one, ONE meme has been posted there. 

I noticed one was online on the game we all play. Normally if I start a voice chat, he joins immediately. I started one 3 times (not intentionally, i got kicked twice), and nothing. Not a peep from him. 

I ended up leaving the VC. I was just so upset.. I waited an hour... not a word. I know he'll be on the rest of the night if he's on at this point, it's his routine. But... nothing. 

I feel so broken. I'm tired and I barely get to do anything but work and TRY to sleep. I'm just left alone with my pain feeling like it'd be better if I was gone...