I am always swinging between wanting to leave my partner/being angry at him (for real things that happened in the past), and wanting to stay with him and feeling like a needy baby who can't think straight without his presence. I don't know what is reality, I don't know how to trust myself. 

Part of me wants to leave this relationship because of the problems in it, but another part feels deep love, attachment, and a feeling of being unable to leave because he knows me really well, I'm deeply attached to him, and I'm afraid no one would ever 'put up with' my intense emotions in another relationship. I'm constantly conflicted, confused, and in despair over this. Don't know how to cope or manage.