I’m a 24 year old male in the U.S. 
I’ve been diagnosed with multiple debilitating chronic health conditions since I was 14 so a whole decade now. These health conditions have affected me in very negative ways including emotionally, physically, with relationships and my quality of life on a daily basis for at least the last decade.

Currently I live with my mother and step-father. They will be moving a few states away in about the next 10 months and since I’m 24 I can’t move with them nor do I want to honestly after what’s happened over the past year. At the beginning of last year I was forced by my mother to be admitted to a drug detox/sober living facility for 6 months. Not to make excuses for any reason, but due to my medical conditions, I was prescribed a medication and I abused it sometimes. The 10 days prior to being admitted into this drug rehab place I abused my medication by taking 3 times the amount I was supposed to take daily until I ran out completely. I was withdrawing badly and needed IV fluids in the emergency room and when I felt like I was literally dying, my mother drove me 1 hour away from our home to be admitted.

I do not consider myself to be a “drug addict”, at least now I don’t at all whatsoever. I take every single one of my medications as prescribed now and one reason for that being because I never want to go back to a time like that in my life ever again. It was pure agony, pain &amp; suffering to say the least. I didn’t fit in there to say the least most of the time either. 

To fast forward to now, I’ve been working a job as a Certified Pharmacy Technician for 1-2 months now. It’s the only job I’ve worked since leaving the drug rehab in 09/2021. I’m basically trying to get back on my feet and make money to support myself, especially since I’ll be “on my own” in about 10 months like I mentioned before. I have to get a car, place to stay, savings, etc., all within less than a year so I haven’t worked under 45 hours weekly since I started working again. 
At the same time me and my psychiatrist are working on getting my major depression under control - I’ve been seeing him for maybe 3ish months now and I’m currently weaning off of my anti-depressant medication that I’ve been on for the last 3+ years(I’ve been on anti-depressants for like 9-10 years overall though). 
I’m at half the dosage that I was usually on during the wean and my anger/depression is worsening. I have to wean off completely in order to start the new, possibly stronger anti-depressant which sucks. I have 1.5 weeks left…

I just want to talk about really fast that the place I’m working at seems to be full of toxic people. I view all of them as toxic besides the one that hired me, my manager. I know this job is only temporary but there’s multiple moments throughout each day almost where I want to just leave or punch someone in the head… I’m getting paid decent money for what I do and I hope it gets better but it’s not right now. I get into moods from these people that make me so mad that I stop talking for a while and what makes matters worse is that we work in retail where we have to put a “mask” on for all of the customers/patients. I really don’t like faking it at all.

I’m not in therapy currently but once I get a used car in the upcoming month hopefully I’ll go back to therapy and maybe it’ll help a little, who knows. It’s just that I try very hard at work,  in life and it’s like it’s never enough but I’m still trying my best. If I wasn’t I know things would be way worse off ya know?

Thank you for listening to me, I appreciate it a lot!