Even when I feel "okay" I could still say I have no interest. I could be doing the most fun thing in the world and I still would rather not exist at all. I've been struggling with severe depression and anxiety for the last 6 years, since I was 13. I had a wonderful childhood and I don't have any horrible trauma, but I was still cursed with this horrible disease. Im assuming it's genetic because I have to rely on medicine just to feel somewhat normal. I have so much trouble handling my emotions, they are the bane of my existence and the most troublesome thing I have in my life. I'm constsntly irritable and on edge all of the time, I don't remember a moment in the last few years where I wasn't. I'm 3 weeks away from graduating highschool and I haven't been able to get up and go to school for the past 2 or 3 weeks. I just want to lay in bed and live out my "fantasy" of not existing. Sleeping is the closest I can get to that without actually taking my life. I don't feel like I belong here at all. Maybe somewhere else but Idk exactly where. I'm starting to convince myself that maybe Im not meant to be here after all. Sometimes I wish I could give my life to someone who's terminally ill and has the desire to live that I don't have. I feel so alone and I don't know if anybody else feels like this.