Someone I care deeply about recently made the change to only look out for herself, to give herself space to heal without worrying about others.

I already fcked up by lashing out during a panic attack, saying stuff I wish I haven't said. I tried to apologize to her for it, but she isn't interested in an aplogoy, I should just not to do it again.

She also told me that during the panic attack, the reason I was panicking was unnessecary.

I listened to her, accepted all she said without inserting myself in it.

She also eventually told me, the reason she finds it hard to react and reacts cold is, because she does not want to hurt me, but also finds it hard to know how to react when I panic so fast.

So that's exactly where this question comes in, how can I best calm / reduce this fear of mine?

Even right now, while writing I notice my entire mind and body are extremely tense.

*note: Person of subject is my FP*