damn I hate Christmas so much every year when December starts I automatically feel like pure shit. The depression? worse the anxiety? worse the feeling that I'm the only woman in this gigantic country that is Brazil alone? yep that happens and I can't be hypocrite I have a family and I have friends but that changes NOTHING because with my family is always about fights or extremely silence so yes that sucks and friends? sadly all 20yo living with parents I can crash theirs place and even if I could I wouldn't do that because I get so so so annoying in this time of year really is like a grinch with 1.52 cm and much more hate I hate everything and everyone and as the time went by I realized that I don't hate christimas for being christimas I hate because is the end of another year that sucks that I spend only trying to survive and also the obligation to be happy I'm a rebel without a cause you want me to be happy? fine see me being the most hateful person 
So yes I hate christimas and I'm lonely and I really want to drink but I'm on medication so you can imagine the stress