Slept super hard cause I got off work late, had to get the snow off my car before leaving, and had to drive slow on the way back home. Which I needed the sleep, but now my anxiety has decided to make me not wanna go to work and feel super lonely. It doesn’t help that one of my cousins shared a post about how you shouldn’t get in a relationship just cause you wanna say you’re in one. I.e. don’t get in a relationship just for the sake of it. Which I completely agree with. But at the same time being lonely does play a part in me wanting a relationship, but it’s not the only reason. I just want a best friend. I want someone to talk to about everything and nothing. Someone to take care of and vice versa. Someone to unload on or have unload on me and be able to support. Someone to do fun things with and nothing with. And weird as it sounds, to argue with over stupid stuff only to realize it was stupid and apologize later. I just feel like a lot of people assume the worst about relationships nowadays. And it’s kinda understandable why. Far more relationships fail than succeed. I know my parents did. But still, not every single relationship is pointless. Not every single person gets with someone for the wrong reasons. Not every couple who gets married young are “ignorant” or “don’t know what they’re getting into.” At the end of the day no matter how old you are you never truly know what your marriage is going to be like until it’s already happened. I guess what I’m getting at is yes, I’m lonely, I’m anxious, I’m depressed, and it all sucks. But those aren’t the only reasons I want to be with someone. I just...am tired not only physically but mentally. Of everything. I wish I could just sleep forever. My dreams are pretty much the only place I’m really happy anyway. I know this was all over the place but like I said, just needed to rant. And I can’t talk to anyone I know about it cause like my dad they’ll say, “You don’t need to get in a relationship. You’re too young” or “Just pray about it, you’ll feel better.”