I feel like I am wilted potential. 
I feel like I am smart, and driven, and I’m supposed to be a thousand miles further down the road than I am. 
I feel like I have no understanding of myself or my life. People see one thing and I feel another. 
I feel like someone should have known, someone should have known there were things going on and someone could have stopped this before it got to this point. 
I always felt useless.
I always felt stupid, and like a failure.
I have always felt underlying depression, beneath wild happy highs. 
I feel like I’m at my rock bottom. I think I am my rock bottom. 
I feel like the answers to my questions already exist and the answers are: work on yourself. Stop being lazy. Be more motivated. Don’t be so dramatic. Face your fears. This is your choice, to stay where you are. You can fix everything if you would just move. 
I feel like I can’t handle the pressure of that. 
I know it would be easier to die. But I don’t want to do that to the people I care about. 

I have wants for a future, but I have no sense of it because it requires me to get off my ass and fix my problems. But..sometimes, most times, it feels impossible. 

I know it is. But the pressure to have to do it, myself, feels too great. 

I wish medication helped this. 
I wish it was an “illness” instead of a disorder. People don’t give a shit about mental disorders, from what I’ve encountered. They just tell you to try harder. 

What’s the point? I’m the problem. Why would I not just give up?