Actually when i'm at school i'm totally okay. i mean ofc most of the time i just visualizing about things, so actually i'm not okay, but i have no bullies and my friends know that i'm not really talkative and not really normal, so most of them just let me do my brain things but they don't leave me alone, and sometimes they tell me stories but they don't force me to tell my stories (sounds strange i know, but it's the best kind of friendship to me).

but god, when i'm at home, i feel myself in a zoo. everyone is asking fucking unbelievably useless and meaningless questions... mostly my mother. most of the time it's fucking hard to talk about myself, i swear i try but when my mother is asking the 10th fucking pointless bullshit question i feel i just cant control my anger anymore so i have to leave before i explode. there are typical questions from my mother what instant make me sick, like topics about girlfriends, eating, university, my social life, etc. etc. and she just can't fucking understand that i dont want to talk about these pointless shits.

the best part is when my father arrives drunk (as always) and he wants to tell me/tell us a fucking important world changing idea. these are mostly those typical "drunken ideas" but when he's drunk he just cant fucking accept the fact that what he's trying to say is a fucking bullshit. i admit it, it was funny when i was a little kid but know it's fucking annoying. why the fuck he just can't shut the fuck up why the fuck he has to talk like he is Mr know-it-all but ofc he just can't fucking get a forenoon without alcohol and ofc he don't even have a graduation but when i want to make a joke to the other family members and he accidently hear it he have to say the clever bullshit and have to educate me about my joke and the story behind it but who the fuck asked for it????

if i just think about my family i have a conniption.