I'd almost rather stay in my depressed mood than keep trying to make myself feel better. 

Last night I felt drained of energy, tired, overwhelmed with negative thoughts, unmotivated to do anything. Before I went to bed, I watched 20 minutes of a funny podcast and then listened to music and that was it - I started to get into an elevated mood, like I was drunk. 

I was laughing in my room at everything, my thoughts were rushing, I was suddenly so agitated I couldn't even sleep.

Someone might say it’s cool that I manage to make myself feel better in under 20 minutes, but it’s really not a nice feeling. It hurts so much to see that your mind is so unstable that you can easily have extreme mood swings in 20 minutes.