This week has been really tough. 

My FP/Ex-SO told ran away from home for two days, (I'm still living in his apartment for the time being), and would not answer my calls or texts. Needless to say I lost my mind and sobbed for about 35 hours just praying for him to talk to me.


He finally returned and wanted to completely ignore what happened. I obviously couldn't and cried and got angry and cried and begged for an explanation and an apology.


The day after that, after pressing from me, he expressed that he feels that he has been trying to push me away because he knows I'm "too obsessed" with him and he knows I'll do anything he tells me to. 

One other bf has told me that and that was the WORST breakup of my life. Like, suicidal and drug binges, etc. 


But after these past few days have topped that. And this boy is still talking to me and told me he does still love me. 


But how do I stop overwhelming people with my love? I never want to push this current person away again. 



Everyone says to find my own interests. And I have a few. But they're all from my either exes or past FP.

So I can never trust my judgement on whether I actually like this stuff or I'm only sentimental about it. 


Any advice is appreciated.


Even just writing this out has helped.