been sleeping with ex since we broke up two months ago and today as I was undressing them they warned me that they had a mark from someone else they slept with. This was unexpected and a first. I essentially rage-fucked them and during they said “no one fucks me as good as you baby”. I told them to shut the fuck up and poured all my intensity into the moment. Now I’m feeling so disgusted thinking about them with someone else and just sad. I have almost never had such a minimal sense of self or sense of purpose. I see myself and don’t recognize the image. I want out, badly. My ex is my best friend and someone I really love. If circumstances were different I’d want to be with them long term. Hurts to leave hurts to stay. I can’t do it, I don’t want to