When I was a child I'd only repeat what people told or asked me. "Hi, bella" and I'd say back "Hi, bella". My mom took me to a psychologist who helped me talk normally and she said that the psychologist said I was lazy and needed more attention than normal kids.

I'm 25 years old and I'm emotionally immature. I am highly aware of that and believe me I've tried everything to be a normal and serious adult. It doesn't work. I laugh too loud, I'm too dramatic, I joke way too much and say stupid things without thinking. I also tend to be more active at night and I just have these quirks such as taking the skin off of the bottom of my feet and scalp. I have been doing this since I can remember. I do it to the point where it bleeds. I cannot stay still. I always need to move something. I'm always daydreaming. And when people are talking to me out of nowhere I bring up a really random subject and that usually upsets people because they were talking about something else. I feel so lost and out of place.

I cry because of what I am yet I do not know who I am. I get easily overwhelmed and really frustrated to the point where I punch my head. I get anxious easily next to people and I overthink over every single thing. I over analyse people's words and thoughts to the point where I have a breakdown of tears. I move my feet a lot in bed to get myself to fall asleep. It's the only way I get comfortable enough to then sleep.
When I think of something while writing about a subject, I write what I was thinking about exactly instead of said subject. When I think of two different things and verbalise them I end up joining those two words into one. 


I avoid people because I'm scared of making a mistake. Being overly friendly or saying something weird. Things that are out of my control. I hate what I am. It's too many things at once.

I don't know what is going on