I am 20 going on 21. I had a baby and the past 6 months of having that baby have been very sleep deprived, it’s been seriously affecting me I think. The past week my anxiety has skyrocketed. I can’t think, I barely feel like I’m here. I am stuck in my head, constantly ruminating over the past (my anxiety was first ever triggered doing drugs which led to my first panic attack). For some reason any time I am anxious I am reminded of that time and it’s almost like I’m reliving it on repeat. It sucks because I want to be present with my wife and baby but I’m living in 2016. I just want to get out of my head but I just keep analyzing trying to make my past ok. I can’t let go of it or of control. It’s getting worse and I just start balling randomly during the day. I just needed to vent because I don’t want my wife to have to be my therapist. I can’t do therapy or meds because I lost insurance and I am struggling to do it on my own. Any tips or similar experiences welcome!