I hate these people for fucking me up like this.

I have a shitload of disorders, fears and other issues because of them and of course now I'M the one that has to fix it all, "work hard" in therapy, put in all this effort when no-one ever put any effort into raising and loving me. I don't want to do this.

I am incredibly sad and extremely furious and frustrated because now I am being made responsible for all of these terrible fucked up mistakes my family made.

I know that I'm not going to get better like this. But I just can't. I don't know how to describe this but I really, really can't. It's too much. Everything feels wrong. I can't do it and I don't want to. It doesn't feel like I'm even capable of getting better.