Hello everyone, i'm on the fence right now regarding having or not an issue with anxiety.


I've had an unusual and kind of hard life since i can remember i exist.. moving cities, almost not seeing my parents, since age 5 at least. 
Grow up in a disfunctional family with lots of arguments. Actually was 10kg underweight because there always was an argument at the table.

Had depression somewere between 17 and 20. I bearly have any Friends, i basically don't like people in general, i feel like i don't get them and they don't get me.

I also become unreasonably paranoid, if they laught or coment stuff between them i feel It's about me. 
November has been awful because i have been super stressed about my future and my past and i felt about to break. The past in the sense of 'relationships and oportunities i have 'lost' " and the future in the sense of "i'm never getting something like that back ever again". I get to points in which i just feel hopless and like "quitting" yet i know i can't kill myself because i was close to several times and always 'found' reasons not to do it.


Some other moments of my life i feel in control of stuff and i feel like things are going great and look to to future with hope and hapiness.


I feel like the second is the best possible me (like there are others not THAT good, but they are also good/nice), and the first is like 'periods' of my life or 'episodes' in it in which 'something takes over me' and i get into this fucked state of mind.


Through therapy i got out of depression. Took me four years almost. It was psychoanalysis, so no meds nor real diagnostics.

The reason why i think about anxiety is because a year ago, in order to get a job i had to take a test and the psychologist interviewed me afterwards and kept asking me if i had some issue with anxiety. It never got out of my head and after this month and the hell it has been, it came back stronger than ever.

Could you share some thoughts about this?