I’m a 22 year old woman. So I think that I may have BPD. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression but I know there is definitely something more than that. 

I’m afraid to bring up anything to my GP because I hear so many stories about them judging and I don’t want them to think I’m just springing it up from no where. Even though my concerns are extremely valid as it’s constantly affecting my relationships and multiple areas in my life. 

I have childhood trauma which has to do with ongoing sexual abuse for 3-4 years and separately - problems with my mother from who suffers from bipolar, depression and anxiety. Without doubt, I believe that I have got a lot of my current mental health issues from her and our relationship. I’ve moved out at every opportunity because that is the only way our relationship is somewhat stable. We would have physical fights, as well as verbal abuse.

More so on the possibility of BPD. I feel like I knew I’ve always had something wrong with my emotions because they are very unstable, but also my personality can change depending on my environment and setting. I can be really angry, sad or happy within minutes and I’m very prone to making dumb decisions because of this which even impacts my money because I just do silly stuff. Through my teen years I was very hyper sexual and would say I had a bit of a drinking problem at times. Now I’m a big weed smoker who drinks quite a bit but I swear I’m not addicted. 

Last year I got into my first serious relationship (I’ve had none serious flings before) and I feel like this has strengthened my believe of having BPD and I mean no offence to anyone whatsoever but I feel like I’ve gone absolutely crazy in love. We’ve had so many arguments and fights, but we’re literally so compatible and in love. I literally break up with him everyday and this is pushing him away from me because I’m such a bitch sometimes but then I’m not because he’s deserving of a lot but I feel like now a BPD diagnosis which I’ve been putting off is the best possible thing for me. To save myself and my relationship. Because I honestly feel like I’ll kms if he leaves and at my rate he’s going to leave. He wants me to get help so bad but I’m scared of knowing. 

I attended therapy before for like 2 seasons but stopped because I kept lying to my therapist and to myself about so many things. 

My question is before I lose the plot. Has anyone only kind of realised they had BPD because of a relationship? Or like it made it far worse?