and a fucking curse. It's honestly amazing to not have my emotional day driven by fear of another person or revolving around their communication and attention. It is also breathtakingly sad in dark moments when I feel so alone. But honestly? It's worth it right now. it's okay to not be in a relationship, or have that person to cling to like a life raft. I'm learning that in these dark moments of intense loneliness, reaching out to a FP/SO can actually be worse than sitting with it and getting through it. but fuck, I want somebody. LMAO i love BPD