For a long time I've started to hate my life.

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I can't socialize with others and I feel so lonely, but I've had bad experiences in the past and whenever I talk to someone I always feel like they are going to betray my expectations, say something that makes me hate them and that is not worth it to even try.

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I could socialize better with online friends, but now it's the same too, because I feel like I always care so much about them, think something over 50 times before saying it to not hurt them, and they don't do the same with me. But I feel if I detach myself from them, I'll be even more alone, but if I don't I hate myself for not having the strenght to go away from someone I've started to dislike.

I view myself as an intelligent person and I feel I could do things better than others, but I'm stuck in an university I was forced to enter due to my parents, and I don't feel like studying at all not simply because it's very hard (and it is) but because I don't like it and I was forced to enter it. But I also can't leave because I'm close to finishing it and I wouldn't have any future otherwise and I would've lost all these years of sacrifices.

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It's not like I hate my university, but I feel it's all so useless to study so many subjects, when I can just forget them the second I pass an exam and I don't feel the same competion others feel on getting good grades. So I never feel like doing it and I'm losing time.

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I hate it because I'm intelligent and I could be better than them, but I don't have the strenght to do that.

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I know I sound patethic, but I don't know what to do.

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I tell myself to be better, but I always lose to my weakness and I pass time alone, feeling like I will never get a job nor a life I like.

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It feels easier to just let the day pass, without doing anything, repeating the cycle endlessly.

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Please if someone passed through it, tell me what I should too.