I'm 35 and I've struggled with BPD my entire life. It has gotten significantly better as I've gotten older and as I've done a lot of work on myself via therapy, intermittent usage of meds, and a lot of observation of myself and recognizing the signs. In a lot of ways I've eliminated the hot cold nature of my personality and the idea of a favorite person. Sometimes I think I'm completely fine and don't struggle with BPD as much any longer but the one area that it always comes back is when starting or ending a relationship. 

I recently met someone and we really clicked, we ended up spending three weeks traveling the Caribbean on a boat together 24/7. The BPD came out a little and I had a few episodes of love/hate outbursts but to be honest I managed them well and suppressed them before they got too bad. I thought it was a sign that I'm older and know the signs and symptoms and can control myself better. I did fall for him pretty quickly but I've accepted the fact that I'll never be able to fix that component of the disorder. We live in different countries but had such a bond that we committed to returning home for a month and then we'd meet again for three weeks. If that also went well, we'd make plans to be closer together. Since we've been back in our own countries we text fairly rarely but FaceTime for an hour or so each evening. The longer we've been apart the more I've noticed I've become exceptionally depressed and that has led to the love/hate thing coming out quite a bit. I did catch it at first and kept it from getting to the point of really pushing him away but there is conflict because of it. 

I knew previously he'd be going on vacation this week as that's why we took the month to return home so that he could do it. I've completely unraveled since he's been on vacation. He's with friends and enjoying partying and isn't really communicating. He doesn't really text and prefers FaceTime but on vacation his days are filled with partying with friends so there's not really time according to him. I'm paranoid, intrusive, insanely sad, and I've damaged things between us a good bit. Fortunately he's patient with me but I know we can't have another argument, that patience can only go so far. I feel like it's reasonable to ask him to communicate more but he's pushed back pretty strongly that it's only a week and that he's with family and friends and he just won't. We talk 10 mins a day max via FT but not even that every day. Some days we haven't spoken at all. In reality, I think it's reasonable for us to not communicate a lot for a week, we've only been together for 6 weeks even if half of that was living together 24/7. He told me before he went home that it would be a crazy week for him, that he wanted to get some partying out of his system before settling down. He's a good deal younger than me so I understood but I'm struggling. I don't know what to do. I have no friends really to talk to, no one to keep me company to pass the time. I work 8-5 M-F which helps but the evenings and weekends I'm just stuck with my thoughts. 

How do you all handle these situations? Any suggestions? I'm desperate to make this work. I know a lot of us say this every time but genuinely I feel like he's the one. We even started using the love word right before he left. I cannot ruin another relationship. I will share my mental health issues with him in person when we see each other next but that's an in person convo, not one I want to do now or over the phone.