I’m writing this in case anyone can relate to me because I’ve been struggling to find anyone that understands.

I was diagnosed at 21 about three months ago and my whole life has seemed to slip away. 

Im a language student and am supposed to study abroad in September but have to defer a year due to the heavy medication I’ve been put on and will go a year later . Instead I’ll be living in a city with my friend finding work experience and getting my yoga teacher qualification. But I can’t help but feel like a failure that I’ve let myself and everyone down.

I’ve been put on ariprizole and mitraprazine which has completely zapped my personality. I feel like a shell of myself. I had to move home with my parents and let them look after me. I am anxious all the time, struggle to go out and hold a social life and am letting my passions slip away. I’m not suicidal but I have no hope or excitement around anything in my life which isn’t like me at all. I don’t care about anything and feel anxious and indifferent most of the time. I’ve spoken to my doctor who told me to give it a couple weeks to settle down. But I feel like I am regressing so much it’s unbearable.

I don’t know if anyone felt like they regressed after their diagnose? I have this sense I’m moving backwards and becoming a victim of my illness which I can’t stand. Is there anything that will help? I understand talking to my doctor again but I want to give the medication a fair go.