I used to think I was just "boy-crazy" and going through teenage hormones in high school, but upon further reflection, I used to be absolutely batshit crazy. 

I used to obsessively text my first FP because I loved him so desperately, until he let me go because he was afraid of appearing gay (Otherwise, he says, he would have gotten into a relationship with me). 

With my second FP, I used to go absolutely nuts wondering where he was if he didn't reply to my texts, messaging his sister if he was okay. 

After my second FP, I jumped around from interest to interest until I had nobody to cling on. From that point, I went through a very promiscuous Grindr phase. 

With my current FP, the luxury of social media gave me the opportunity to develop some seriously unhealthy habits. 

And I can't neglect to mention all of my crazy mood swings, going from full on crackhead comedian to sullen and depressed suicidal teenager, risky behavior, severe abandonment issues, and splitting with my closest friends and family. 

I'm thankful that this sub exists. I don't feel so lost and numb anymore.