Let me start this out with a few things for context. 
First, I have been seriously ill since last October. The doctors think it could be cancer or an autoimmune disease. So I haven’t left my house since December cause a decent amount of tension since my husband is the only person I’ve been able to interact with. Second, I’m a navy vet and I get my medicine of my BPD through the VA. This is important because at the time of the ‘light bulb 💡’ moment I had ran out of my meds and was waiting for them to ship to me. So I was likely also going through some nasty withdrawal. Third, my bpd is from my abusive father, molesting brother, and manipulative mother. 
With all that said let’s take a dive into a BPD person’s moment of positivity and healing at their moment of their life they feared the most: (FP) abandoning them. 
So about a month ago me F22 and my husband M29 (my only FP I’ve ever had) started bickering. We never fight because we both have bpd mine is severe and his is more mild. He has an avoidant attachment style and I’m definitely the total opposite so we work really well together. We’re also both ex military officers so that helps too but we tend to be as efficient as possible. So when we started fighting it just got worse and worse to the point that I had a panic attack and he started yelling at me (my biggest trigger) and I screamed back with pure rage basically saying how that moment was the moment I’ve been asking for the whole time because he was letting his emotions flow. He calmed down and we worked through my panic attack. So the end, right? Oh hell naw. The fighting resumed only two days later and got worse and worse. The one day we call a truce from cussing each other out and the eating to leave each other my father calls. He calls purely to yell and scream at me for marrying a black and basically says look at what those n-words are doing to our great nation. (My father is an Brazilian immigrant who got his citizen ship by fighting in Vietnam 🙄) I immediately started doing the thingy where you just disconnect all your emotions and feelings uh... dang I forgot the technical term lol 😂. So after my father hangs up my husband goes outside to smoke and I’m still all weird and disconnected but I can tell he’s been triggered too. So when he comes back inside I just tell him I’m sorry. He turns around and goes,”You’re not the woman I want to marry and have kids with. You’re like separate people and just not who I thought you were. So I want to break up. “ I look him in the eye with no emotion and ask,” Do I even have a chance?” ( meaning can I try to get him back) he says no and I ask if we can talk and he agrees but throws in that he has already made up his mind. So in my head with no emotion I’m like ‘ this is make or break I don’t need emotions I just need to speak from the heart and use what I’ve seen other people doing’. So in my head I think about the moment I was bathing when I was six after my father beat me and my mother came in and she begged me to help save her and my dads marriage and I looked her in the eyes and told her marriage is like friends. Friends are awesome most of the time but there are times you hate each other and you have to decide if that negative moment is so great that it outweighs the positive moments. She ultimately stayed with him. So I look my husband in the eyes and take a breath and bring up a trip we took to San Antonio Texas in which he left in the middle of the night to go to a party without me. I brought it because in my mind the one moment drained that whole week long trip because he left me and we have had disputes about it ever since. So I bring it up and I can tell he’s getting ready for a nasty fight. So I start saying as calm as possible how awesome and fun the trip really was. All the places we went and how we got shit faced and acted like two little kids. I double back to the negative and I say to my husband,” For so ducking long I have let the one negative moment poison that memory for not only myself but for you too. You see I was so caught in the betrayal and pain of that night that we, together, have been robbed of the happiness of that week. Just one passing moment. Why was I holding on to it for so long? What did I get out of it? Just letting it eat away at my on peace at mind.” Finally, my emotions are seeping in and I start crying a little as I continue my speech to save my marriage. I move the conversational tone to one of a teacher and student and begin explaining that in life we choose what we hold on too. At some point we have to decide if the negative outweighs the positive and understand that holding on tightly to that negative will rot away the positives that come after it til it swallows you up. Do you want the future positives with me and are they worth fighting through the negativity? In a relationship like marriage to make it last is to understand that there will be times you aren’t in love anymore but you stay together for the hope of finding that love again. We won’t always be head over heals in love. But I wanna be with you in my future. And that’s how I ended it and my husband agreed apologized and I apologized too and we’ve been good since. He said I really opened his eyes and we agreed to focus more on our positives. 
So in conclusion, BPD is a struggle we unnecessary latch on to negatives because negative emotions are often times what we are used to. Negative emotions are stronger to us. So we just have to do things differently. We have to work harder on focusing on positives instead of the negatives and try to understand that negative is a passing moment that won’t be here forever. We have to learn to let go of that negativity ( doesn’t mean forget it just don’t let it consume your mind).