I have no friends, no promising career no matter how hard I try, my boyfriend feels distant from me, I feel so ugly whenever I look at myself, and on top of that whenever I post on reddit people always downvote my posts. I feel so hated, unheard and invisible. Do you guys know how much it hurts to come to a place such as a BPD subreddit to feel validated and understood only for people to downvote your posts? Like seriously?

  
My career is a complete failure. I work in film, and I am 24 years old. No matter how hard I try or how hard I work, people refuse to hire me. I dont know whats wrong with me and I feel like a complete loser. Do not say 'youre only 24'., because plenty of the people I went to college with, and in my field are absolutely killing it for their 20s, making over 75k a year. I feel like nobody wants to just fucking give me the opportunity to kickstart things for myself. It just makes everything worse for my BPD to receive rejection after rejection even in my career field. I want to SCREAM. It feels like there's a blacklist and my name is on it to never work with me.

I also have absolutely no friends. I had a bunch of friends in college, but I was then raped by someone close to me at the school, came forward about it, and then all my so called 'friends' and acquaintances didn't believe me and told me I lied for attention. I even had text message proof of the guy admitting it. So now, a few years after college, I am still friendless, and am convinced everyone I meet hates me. When I try to hang out with new people, I am immediately sidelined or ignored. When I try to include myself and say something, people act as if they didn't hear it or keep talking over me....

I don't feel pretty. I feel as though my boyfriend thinks other girls are prettier than me and never validates that. I dont know what to do anymore. I have so many nightmares of him just complimenting other girls. He feels distant and has had it with me venting to him. He cant even stand it anymore when I come to him with hurt feelings because hes had enough.

DOES IT EVER GET BETTER? Please...... I have no hope and every day feels like a living nightmare. I don't know how much longer I can take this.