My coworkers invited everyone on shift to get ice cream after work. Of course I went, I've never done something like that before. Just the feeling of being included and welcomed, you know? 

It went super well. Everyone talked and seemed to enjoy themselves. I'm generally quiet so I tried to say some stuff.

But what really sucks is that I still felt super empty after. Something I had so wished for to happen and I didn't / don't feel anything. The numbness is so intense. I just feel so drained, wanting to curl up into a ball and cry. I just feel so disappointed in myself. It seems like I can't even enjoy little things anymore? 

The me a few years ago would be smiling ear to ear to be invited to something. Anything. That me would've felt happy or maybe really moved. I'm just really upset that my depression has worsen this much.

Do you guys have this same problem? Like, enjoying literally anything without feeling number?