I just wanted to put it out there, somewhere. I finally feel totally numbed inside after feeling too deeply all my life. I literally feel like i'm dead, empty, and rotting inside, but my body is alive and going through the motions of life. My relationships aren't doing so well because of this, i'm not able to put in my all into them and, it's making me feel even worse. I wish I had someone who cherished me, and would just physically hold me, comfort me. I don't know when I was last held, years ago. These past few weeks I started noticing sharp pangs in my upper left chest. I genuinely think my heart is starting to deteriorate from all this. I wish I would just evaporate and go back into infinity/god.