I know some people will say I have delusions but I genuinely dont think it is. I have OCD and I feel like not doing my compulsion WILL have a negative impact on me. I am so scared if I dont continue to do them, I will develop a disorder where my eyes burn so bad that I will want to die and then my eyes started burning. They already burned before and I know I could have made this happen with my paranoia. I am trying to stop doing compulsions. I feel like someone somewhere is making this happen and I will be stuck in hell or go into a coma or something terrible. Coincidences keep happening. I was watching a YouTube video and I clicked the back button with tthe thought in my mind "the first word I see is what will happen" and it was the word burn. These things continue to happen and I am almost fully convinced its real. I have had paranoia before and thought I was delusional but I learned that delusional people don't know they are. I have convinced myself Ive done terrible things which I wasn't sure if I had and I know this is common for people with OCD but idk.

I took an edible 8 days ago and i think it triggered a episode of some sort, which made me delusional or very anxious. I am still feeling the affects and I literally have never been this delusional before. I used to be terrified to go outside because I would see people waving and think they're in trouble. It wasnt a hallucination, I would see it in my mind and it would seem like I saw it in real life. Sometimes it felt real and I thought someone was actually in trouble. Before this, I had paranoia of crazy things but I never 100 percent believed them until now. I hallucinated visually and audibaly as a kid but only a handful of times, and ive heard voices before but this was almost always when I didnt sleep.

I really cant do anything about it. I cant get therapy rn or be in a hospital.