I was diagnosed with BPD when I was 21. I dont take medications or go to therapy anymore. I've learned to manage it quite well on my own being such a spiritual person. I'm very self aware knowing my triggers and have rituals in place to prevent any outbursts. As you may already know getting to 100 is easy. It's coming back down that seems impossible. Actually, up until a few months ago the only way to calm myself during a manic episode was to smoke weed. I'm happy to say I haven't smoked in months (something I NEVER thought I'd say). Anyway, I have lots of remedies in place to prevent myself from even having an episode. I went from having multiple episodes a day to maybe having one or two a month (bad AND good). However, the happy "high" manic episodes are harder to distinguish due to them being less harmful than a negative "low" episode. Ex. During a happy high episode I tend to just have a lot of fun but don't exactly know when to stop. My low episodes consist of mood swings and rages and LOTS of crying. I could describe in more detail but im sure you already know what a manic episode looks like. 
I've lived in my own place the last couple of years and it's been life changing. It's the only reason I've learned to manage it on my own and I'm doing so well. I found out that the owner wants to sell my duplex so I can't renew my lease. Which means I'm moving back home with mom. The place where a lot of my trauma was caused. My mom is great but she has been ignorant and still refuses to acknowledge my diagnosis. So I know this is going to be a transition for sure. My lease is nearing its end and I've been so stressed about it. I'm also from the southside which is like living in a small town of toxic people that you can't help but run into anywhere you go. So im also stressed about that. I actually got a taste of what it would be like the other night. Let me tell you..
This girl I grew up with is a year younger than me with the exact same name as me. So our whole lives the school and state get us mixed up. I had to go to court once for her truancy. I've gotten her tickets in the mail. Well the other night I was at a dive bar on the Northside where I now live (which is so big its like living in a different city). I've only been there once to meet a boy. I run into her in the RR! She was there for a coworkers party. So its not somewhere either of us have been before. What are the chances, right? We both had tabs open and she proceeded to tell her friends to put her drinks on my tab. At the end of the night my tab was $70 when I literally only bought 1 drink due to my friends ending up paying for my drinks after. I confronted her but making it seem like it was a bar fuck up. Of course she didnt own up to it. I didnt expect her to but wanted to see what she would say. But I know what she did. In the rr she even mentioned that the bartenders had mixed us up already but she set them straight. Keep in mind we're from the southside where friends thieve from each other and have no boundaries or standards. I know when someone is being fake or lying to me. And this girl was not being honest. Anyway, that's just a taste of what I have to look forward to going back home to the south. 
I NEVER wanted to move back but can't afford a new place atm. It was a miracle I got into the one I'm in now. This place is so magical it's everything I've ever wanted in a home. So im very torn up about having to leave. I've noticed I've been having high episodes on the weekends going out and drinking too much, come Monday I can't back into my routine. Skipping the gym, eating crap breaking my diet, NOT working. So now I'm feeling like crap about my body AND I'm broke. And all I want to do is sleep and eat. I've been over sleeping everyday. Pretty much taking a nap every chance I get. I've been cancelling my shifts so that I can sleep more knowing damn well I need the money. And I'm not hesitant to turn down a night out with friends to spend more money i do not have. I just feel like im starting to lose control and I'm going to revert back to my old crazy self. I've worked so hard to get where I am and I'm letting it all go and losing faith in myself. Any encouragement or motivation would be appreciated. I need to work, I NEED to go to the gym. And I need to stop eating so much and get back on my positive eating. Sorry this is so long but if you've reached this far maybe it's because something I said resonated with you. Maybe we can figure this out together. Thanks for sticking around. Much love.