My bf of 5.5 years broke yo with me because I impulsively decided to move out of our shared apartment. This was after we got into a fight where he told me to leave and after I told him I couldn’t live there anymore with the roommates while he made zero effort to leave. 

I regret moving, I love my apartment, but it’s so fucking empty and lonely. I’ve been drinking excessively to cope, last night I think I spent almost 70$ on drinking and I had two drinks completely alone which I never do. I’ve been lashing out at my friends because they don’t want to spend all their time with me and I feel like they should understand I’m going through an extremely hard time. Not only am I dealing with a breakup I’m dealing with it 100% alone.

I know I shouldn’t lash out but that’s my thought process when I’m feeling upset. 

Yeah idk I’m really struggling. My ex refuses to speak to me because I hurt him so bad. He unblocked me but I think it was just to see if I’d reach out. I apologized profusely and he said my apology changes nothing and all he has to say is how fucked up he thinks I am.

I’m regretting everything and feeling like I’m losing control.