My friend convinced me to go to a kpop concert with her and her friend (whom I don't know), the tickets have been bought, we are going in a few days. It's too late for me to back out and I don't want to ruin everything by telling her I can't go and I really do want to see this group live. It really is something I want to do. But when I think about it my chest gets so tight and I can't help but think of all the bad things that could happen. Ever since the Travis Scott concert crush (and I saw so many videos of people in the crowd and having trouble breathing) the thought of being in a tight crowd scares me to death. I had mostly pushed the fear down but now with the recent crowd crush that's happened in South Korea the fear has maximumed ten fold. Now I've seen videos of people in the crowd of that and its all I can think about. I'm trying not to think about it too much but it's at the back of my mind. I wish we had seat tickets but they're general admission and if I was by myself I would stick to the back but I know my friend and her friend will want to get as close to the front as possible and I'm not ruining their nights over my fears. My bf told me to just stick with her and everything will be alright, but if a crowd crush happens how will I stick with them?
I also think of other fears like shootings and bombings. These fears aren't as great but it's still there.
I've been to a concert once before and had a great time, I WANT to have a great time at this one. This was years ago but I remember these things were never in my mind at the time. The crowd didn't get crazy so I had no fear, also it was a rock concert and people are very good about picking others up at those. I'm not sure what crowds are like at kpop concerts and Im scared people will be rowdy to get closer. I just.. AAA 

I'm going to go but I don't want to have a panic attack and ruin the night. I'm telling myself it will be okay but the tight feeling won't go away. I just want it to go away. I want to cancel but at the same time I really do want to go.