I can be feeling at my lowest and just so worried about everything, but then a minute later I could start to feel hopeful and then even feel happy, until the dread returns. It’s so confusing because I start to doubt how I feel. I start thinking, well I know I feel anxious, but if I have the ability to feel happiness for a while is there really anything wrong? And am I just exaggerating everything? 
That probably didn’t even make sense but I feel like I can’t even tell how I feel anymore or trust it, and I keep looking for reassurance to make sure I’m not 'making it up'. Idk if it’s just my mind. 
I’m meant to be going back on medication but my mind is just like 'you seem fine now, so you don’t need it' and that I’m exaggerating it and everyone will see right through it, and keeps reminding me that there are people in so much worse situations who actually need it more. It’s frustrating.