I read an article which used filing cabinets as a metaphor for bipolar disorder, and I decided to expound upon the concept to use it as an affirmation for myself when I’m feeling frustrated. 

“Think of your brain as a series of file cabinets. When you’re functioning normally—you know you need a file, you go to the corresponding cabinet, and you pick up the correct file. Simple, right? 

During hypomania, the file cabinets have been knocked over and all the files are on the floor. The more severe it is, the more things are in disarray, making it harder to find the file you need. Sometimes the papers themselves are scattered everywhere, so not only can you not find the right file but you need to put the file itself back together from a pile of random papers. Sometimes you find a lot of incredible art in those papers and it sidetracks you. Or sometimes you see heinous disgusting things that you can’t look away from. Sometimes your boss is yelling at you to get the file and blaming you, and you get more and more frustrated even though you’re not the one who kicked over the cabinets. Mood stabilizers help reorganize the filing cabinet, but it still takes you time to reorganize everything. 

When you’re depressed, the filing cabinets are locked, and now you’re spending your energy attempting to pry them open. It’s exhausting. In this case, mood stabilizers help you find the right key. Sometimes it’s hanging on the wall, but sometimes you have to borrow the key from the custodian’s office and it becomes a whole ordeal. And maybe the room itself is being fumigated, so it’s days before you even can go in.

This can all be frustrating because your brain’s illness is the one who is knocking over cabinets or locking you out, yet you blame yourself because you feel responsible—and you’re the one left picking up the pieces. But it’s not your fault. It’s your filing cabinet’s.”