So, for the first time since high school in 2010, I am cognizant enough to kind of instruct the flow of my life.  My mental health has been an issue since middle school and from 2012 - 2021 I was hospitalized 15 times for psychiatric reasons.  Usually I'd only stay a few weeks - a month.  I spent a year in the hospital and was discharged about six months ago and that's when my community really stepped in to help me out.

Everything gives me anxiety.  Or, rather, my anxiety is always present.  It keeps me from doing a lot, sometimes even stopping me from completing the bare necessities to live properly and comfortably.  Panic attacks are common, especially around the time my period would be and right before big tasks.

The program that started working with my during my last hospitalization has done amazing things to help me out.  They've been paying for my room in an Extended Stay hotel for over six months!  My doctors and therapists come to me.  My other team members working on med delivery and housing keep in touch with me to know what's needed.  They also keep in touch with my parents (per my permission) to keep them in the loop.

I get food stamps now, which REALLY helps me out.  I'm even losing weight from eating better!  But what really is going to help me out is the housing assistance.  I'm getting a $1,290 apartment for less than $200 a month!!!  It's a beautiful, safe place with a lot of walking trails and a gym.  Pet friendly too!

Now I'm paranoid that my treatment team will see how I'm doing and think that I was faking everything...  I mean, faking 15 hospitalizations + various Dr. appts + therapy visits would be intense for anyone.  But still...  I'm being given everything I could need and I'm terrified of losing it and a relapse.  I haven't gone this many months without being in the hospital for years.

I'm so terrified of losing this.  I'm not doing anything that would cause me to lose it, but it really seems almost too good to be true.  They're getting me a TWO BEDROOM apartment!  Something I could never afford before.  These organizations are with me for the long haul but I'd like some reassurance from y'all.  &lt;3