So, some time ago my girl moved into her new apartment, and later on I too decided to jump in on the fun of living just us two, together in one place. Note that I’ve always had phobias of peeling wallpapers, rusty pipes and so on. What doesn’t help is the fact that the whole apartment looks like it’s not been touched for a couple of years. Anyways. So I called her randomly on that one day, asked my parents to give me a lift, I packed my stuff and off we went. Some time passed and one day we decided to get pissed (drunk). Ended up getting 2 bottles of some cheap white whine. For a while we were not able to open up both bottles of whine but we managed. I poured in and so we continued. Note that I’m a FAST drinker. I’ve always been pointed at due to the fact of just how fast I’m able to finish a bottle of whine. I simply do not enjoy alcohol nor do I recommend it’s use. I kept drinking increasingly more and more over the course of an hour, noticing no effect. Bad move was to keep on pushing it onwards - Should’ve stopped there and then.. I was drunk and ill later on. Ended up falling asleep on top of the toilet seat (allegedly). Next day I woke up with dry mouth, not fully numb left upper side of my lower lip and some moderate dizziness. Had some water and proceeded with the day. Now, I’m known for being energetic and having all these spontaneous ideas that are mostly in the good regard of things. The numb lip persisted for 3 days and I decided to finally look up its cause.. That’s where I fucked myself up for the next 3 days to come. I was glued to my phone the whole day, reading causes, what’s normal and what’s not. It got very exhausting.. VERY quickly. Note that I’ve had such behaviour of checking and monitoring body for any signs of illness for a long time now. I was convinced that I have testicular cancer due to one nut being bigger than its neighbour. I also have a tendency to compare things such as how tightly shoelaces are tied, and if I feel a slight unevenness I just sit down and take as long as I have to before both are even- Continuing. I kept constantly looking for numbing of other parts of my face, arms, legs and so on. Nothing else seemed to be out of proportion and doesn’t now at least, but previously I swear I could feel my mind playing tricks on me. Ended up getting Vitamin B later on, for usage of 2 tablets for the duration of 5 days. Now, I came to terms that something must’ve fucked up there and what not but STILL KEPT FEELING FUCKING BAD. I couldn’t eat, I barely talked to my girl, I felt sooo not like myself, poor sleep due to waking up at night in shock to monitor for things that happen within my body to then wake up the day afterwards FEELING LIKE AN UTTER SUBHUMAN THAT I DID BEFORE. I thought with sleep it was going to improve - No, instead it consumes me 24/7. Now my brain has switched focus to my left arm. The more I think about my left arm the more it feels like it’s cramping, tensing up and so on. This is madness. I even went the length to check for veins all over the body (phobia). Today I woke up with some pain behind my upper left shoulder. Perhaps either due to the way I slept on my back the whole night or constant, random cramping when I think about that location of my body. I do not know what else to say. Seems like the more I read google the more symptoms if not all I’m guaranteed to have. To every new, random tingle I google up possible causes.. Luckily I went to have my blood drawn as well as test my urine for any abnormalities. This gives me some relief, but very mild. I want to be ME, I want to feel like ME. I’m constantly just thinking about all the things I’ve read and such, and such. I’ve never experienced anxiety THIS badly. Feels like I’ll go into cardiac arrest any second now. It’s bad.. How do you cope?