I contacted my GP today and did a questionnaire then a phone call asking more questions about my current situation. I was told at the end of the call that the doctors can’t refer me to talking therapies, I have to self refer, which I could have done the day before myself. I didn’t gain anything from the call, though the GP was very nice, and now I’m worried that I’ll have a medical record saying I have anxiety! I didn’t even think of the consequences (very unlike me haha) beforehand of what this entails. If I had self referred it wouldn’t have gone on my record I don’t think.

I’m just annoyed at myself, feeling embarrassed for being open and honest, especially about previous self harm, when the phone calI wasn’t even productive. I think I’ve had anxiety for 9 years now and it’s taken me this long to actually try and get help. I’ve gaslighted myself into thinking I’m overreacting as I’m still high functioning, but the reality is it’s stopping me from moving forward with my life I think. 

Anyway, I didn’t even receive a diagnosis in the end, but maybe I did? Who knows? A waste of time and now I have something else to overthink yay.