 It when everything become dark nothing matters. I have all this thinks to be thankful for but when I start thinking I put myself in the hole it becomes useless. I use to use suicide as a get out of hole card if it every got ready bad, but then someone close did it and it became clean that was not a solution anymore that I was willing to put on the table. So now every time I hit the hole it's darkness that I escape with time after 3h 10days a years I finally get free and everything fine again it stupid. But I put on a face because (call me old fashioned) but am a man I can't show my family or my girlfriend that they need to worry I don't want to bother people with my shitty problems and I done this all my life but here I am being selfish asking how do other people do it. 

Please don't say "Therapy helps" I become num to that reposts. To everyone reading this thank you for one and two don't let me put you down your hole. you?  who ever you are. You are amazing and you be ok like I will be at some point. 

Thank you