Another relationship is ending and obviously, I’m not taking it well. People break up all the time and their ok. Why can’t I be like that? People also find love all the time. They find a partner who is supportive, respectful and who loves them unconditionally. Why can’t I find that either? 

The thought of never finding someone like that overwhelms me to a level no one understands. Yes, I get a panic attack just thinking of never finding it. 

Even when I try and explain it, I get responses like “don’t be silly! You’re great!”, “you’ll find it eventually” or my personal favorite “you just haven’t found the right one yet”. Yea? Well where the fuck is she? Everyone else I know found it without this much pain. Why am I the only one who ends up with a broken heart each time? 

I mean this in the most absolute literal sense. I would trade everything I own, I would trade the last 10 years of my life if I could just have a relationship I’ve always wanted. It’s not like I ask for much. I want someone to love me for what I am and what I’m not and I don’t want them to leave. 

Where. The fuck. Is it? 