The emptiness. Not knowing who you are and what truly are your standards and whether you're a good or a bad person. Basing your self-worth over how much validation you get from others and not even consider loving yourself. Getting bombarded with heavy feeling of loneliness the exact same moment you leave your friends or even when you're with them. Absolutely destroying every single relationship because of how afraid of abandonment you are. Always putting yourself down and blame yourself even when you're 100% certain that it's not your fault. All of it fucking sucks.
This might be the fifth or sixth time this month I seriously consider ending it all, but I know very well that in 4 or 5 minutes from posting this, I'll be laughing like nothing have happened. 
I can't reach for help. And I guess inner peace is too much to fucking ask for.