I graduated school almost two years ago, almost 30 years old now. People and ex friends i went to college with are getting married, went from being players to settling down in a long term relationship, having kids, full time careers in mid to high level positions, being able to support themselves financially.... 

and here i am needing parents help with rent, juggling two low position part time min wage jobs, never dated, havent been in a relationship in 3 years, celibate (out of fear) and am generally confused about why i am having such difficulty establishing myself and actually having a fulfilling, forwarding move life.

Why can't i just get to experience life too? Just struggle struggle struggle. Still "finding myself", still angsty, still sad, and still emotionally tied to my past. Like, its not longer 2012 when i had a fight with a close friend that's gone forever, hell, he probably hasnt thought of me in years...and here i am randomly hearing our past arguments in my head and wondering how it could be different, or realizing im no longer in school trying to get through it, with the rest of my classmates. They made it through, grew up, settled down. 

I feel like im really missing out, and i feel very angry about this, and nostalgic for how things were when i was on the same track in life as everyone else.