He said "Like i get now why people say confidence is attractive, i havent met someone before who hates themselves like you" 
Which part of me wants to just crumble up and think that he thinks I'm an ugly person but the other part of me also started journaling for positivity today and I vowed that I would not negative post on my Instagram anymore. I really want to change my self confidence level but it's hard when I don't have therapy and my medication is fucked up right now 
Im trying to not make it a big deal and make things worse. I know hes upset because he gets angry that he watches me self destruct so recently. It's just hard for me to not take this as "oh he thinks I'm ugly and he would be more happy with someone more confident in themselves and I should go away!!"