He was 27. 
We haven't talked in a few years but it still hurts. I can't stop thinking about me him and our other cousin in the back yard hitting each other with sticks we wrapped with duck tape the make handles. Or when we finally where able to beach mask of majora together when we where all kids. We would out on the backyard until we couldn't see. 

He got hit by another car while he was getting into an Uber. I just don't even know how to process this my emotions are all over the place..

Hes the 4th person in my family to die this year. 
2 grand parents and and elderly uncle. 
There supposed to go. That's what happens. 

But not him. Not Josh he was young. He was my age. 

My family got together to grieve but I didn't go. I don't think I can handle being around that many people like this but it makes me feel guilty. My wife says I shouldn't but I do. 

I'm just really sad I know that I'm probably sadder then I should be but it's hard to find motivation to keep moving forward. I just wanna lay in bed and cry. 

Idk I'm just trying to get my feelings out somewhere. 
I'm gonna try the gym I guess. 



I miss you Josh. You where always such a brightlight. I'll always remember you for that.