I just experienced an abrupt breakup with my partner 41M who has BPD. Over the course of our relationship he would do or say a lot of things that would slowly chip away at my self esteem. Usually I would ignore it but I decided our last argument to share my side. 

When I tried to healthily express my concerns and things that he brought up that hurt me he denied saying them, escalated the fight, and then disappeared for several days, ignoring my attempts to reach out. 

The day we broke up he deleted photos of us on his Instagram, and I decided to end up and change our relationship status on Facebook and stopped sharing my location with him. 


Later that day he called and very nonchalantly said that it’s over because people that love each other don’t do the things I did to which I only told him that I respect his decision, which he seemed frustrated by me not fighting it or anything. 

Now he is all over social media posting almost everyday something new about how happy he is and I have not talked to him sense. 

My question is - how is he truly feeling? All the things he said I did are the things that he did to me through the span of our relationship. And it seems like now I am painted black. Is he able to see that he hurt me too?