So I've been doing like, for lack of a better word, dogshit these these past weeks. BPD + depression + misophonia have created an absolute hell for me in which the slightest trigger can kick me down the slip n' slide of suicidal thoughts. I've upped my dosis of paroxetine to 20mg per day (which is not much) and started taking tegretol again (600mg per day) for the misophonia. I'm not proud of that because the side effects (slower digestion/sexual dysfunction/a weird hearing thing where I hear everything in lower pitch) bother me to no end. Also I've been working very hard to build more muscle and loose some more weight these past months and its going well. However...

I'm thinking of taking a small dosis of seroquel again for safety. I'm still very unstable and suicidal ideation is still only one trigger noise away. I've raken it before and I gained a whole ton of weight and basically turned into a sleepy and unresponsive zombie. My job is very physically demanding and I can't afford to have my reflexes incapitated. Also the weight gain aspect bothers me because I've been doing very well building muscle and I'm enjoying my new physique a lot.

So I'm asking you guys if anyone has had any positive experiences with seroquel. Is there a way to still build muscle and burn fat on this drug? Is there a way to combat the chronic fatigue?

(Additional information: I'm a 23 year old female)