I’ve felt this way for so long that I’m never enough. I try to follow my passion of professional wrestling and stay I shape and train as much as I can. Only for me to look around and feel like I’m just forgotten about, a background character everyone eventually forgets. I push myself to work hard to unhealthy limits. Sadly I had to put wrestling on hold for financial reasons, seemed like no one missed me or cared I was gone. Now I just work two jobs, an overnight shift and a morning shift. I get about 4-5 hours of sleep a day with little to no time for myself. I bust my ass at work to only be overlooked and told I’m unimportant or not good enough. It’s tough for me to continue doing this to myself but my brain keeps telling me if I keep pushing and work more and give myself less time for myself I’ll eventually get where I want to be. I’ve been working close to 75 hour weeks every week since October and feel no closer to reaching my goal to actually be where I want to be. I feel like im still not enough nor will I ever be. I feel as if all I’ll ever be is someone in the background no one will ever pay mind to even though im pushing myself past my breaking point just to try and keep myself on autopilot long enough so I don’t have to deal with the thoughts of how I’ll never be enough so I can go home and rest for a small amount of time just to wake up and do it all over again. I know I have friends who must be horrified to see me put myself through this but to me it feels as if im still not doing enough. If I could I’d work my two jobs and then train 2 evenings a week as well as hit the gym and help with shows. Maybe then I’ll feel like I’m actually worth something more than I am.