I'm going to do anything to myself, but I just can't handle living everyday the way I do any more. I'm so tired of everything even though I can't make myself do anything. I'm only a child and I've gone through so much, but it feels like everyone else has it worse. My medication doesn't even numb me anymore, all it manages is stealing my chances at joy. 

I'm such a disappointment to my family, and I'll be a disappointment to my friends if I ever show them the real me. I have no genuine relationships. Even my therapist is telling me that I shouldn't be as miserable as I am because I'm "too young" for it. I know she doesn't see it hurts me, but it does. So much.

My birth father neglected and abused me until the day he died. My stepfather abused me until the divorce. My first father figure let me think he was dead for a year, only coming back to tell me he was about to end himself. My second father figure called me a bitch when I tried to reassure him. 

My mother figures are strangers online who aren't even mothers and have never had a conversation with me that lasted more than a few days. 

I can't say anything to my friends because their mental health is worse and I can't take myself away from them.

I'm miserable, but too necessary to get rid of myself. Just not necessary enough to be loved or even acknowledged.