ive felt like shit for months and nobody knows but a therapist who i told a couple weeks ago. apart from that, nobody knows the extent of how i feel and no one would care. 

it started last december and its mostly a blur because i was in a deep depression because of it. i told him about my issues with bpd and how ive got an unhealthy attachment to him and all he said every time was “its okay i like clingy girls”. he enabled my behaviours and then when it got too overwhelming for him because i wasnt even aware of how bad it was getting, he just up and left. 

he didnt say he was leaving me. he didnt say goodbye. he just went on to date my best friend a couple months later. i dont care that he’s dating her, i honestly think she can do better but he makes her happy so no biggie. what im upset at is that he knew about my abandonment issues and literally just crippled them with no remorse. it feels like i go into fight or flight and im seeking revenge whenever he comes around bc idk how im supposed to act. i cant even tell anyone because everyone loves the guy. i hate him. i hate him so much and his stupid fucking rap obsession and timbs. i hope karma smacks him with a truck.