I’ve always wanted someone I could spend all of my time with if it was authentic and they understood me to some degree.

I also appreciate my space so when I was done with them they’d understand and when I want them they get it too.

I’ve always wanted a partner or friend that got that - to watch movies I like even if they didn’t really care for them. Just be there for me  
Instead I isolate bc ny expectations are too high and people always disappoint me. 

I hate how tied i am to when certain friends text back and that high I get and the low when they don’t respond. It can be a weak later and it still triggers me.

I go out of my way to pleaser those I love our of fear of abandonment yet why don’t they do the same for me? How do I get control and balance of friends and partners 


TLDR: I’m not making sense rn but what I’m trying to say is I wish I understood how to not let uncontrollable variables (people) impact my moods and how I see the world