Hi everyone

I need somewhere to vent and some words of encourgement or strategies to cope with living with schizophrenia. How do you all manage to get out of bed and keep going? Last few years, have been really tough on me. I battle everyday with feelings of the unfairness of having this ilness. It probably sounds and is immature of me, but I just cant seem to let it go. I try to be a decent human being, but I have no dreams, no goals, nothing i really want. I just cant be bothered to set myself up for failure and my drive is close to zero. The last time i got admitted to a psychiatric hospital was by far the hardest, and I never really recovered. I am broken inside and dont really have it in me to fight to get better. I mean, i want to, its just not a battle i can win. I have so-called friends, but they never visited me when i was feeling ill or even call. Not even once. I feel like im pretty good at acting like everythings alright, when it isnt. Ive tried talking to my family about it but they cant understand what its like, and it makes them sad knowing im in pain, so i keep it mostly to myself. Im barely eating and the days just pass before my eyes, not getting any better. I read somewhere that if you have a good enough "WHY" its easier to find the motivation but i cant come up with anything, if im only living for the sake of my mother and father.