My boyfriend asked to take another break, I could tell he was going to. He left last Tuesday to be with his relatives for Thanksgiving, and I watched his dogs for him while he was away. He wasn't speaking to me very much, and was getting clearly annoyed with me when calling him just to tell him about my day and ask about his and whatnot. I hung up on him, and then he didn't say anything to me for a full day. I knew something was up then, and guessed that he was going to tell me that he wanted to take a break again. This is the fourth or fifth time, I've lost count. I waited by my phone for him to tell me he was back, and for me to go pick him up. He called just before 10pm, telling me that he needs some space. I might've overreacted, I never yelled or said anything hurtful, but told him that I was disappointed in him. Mostly because he has done this so many times instead of just talking things out. He said that this time it's because he needs direction in his life and I'm a bit overwhelming. I told him that it's not fair to me to keep doing this, and that I would like it to be the last time. I told him that I wanted our relationship to be done and over with... and I don't know how to feel. I sent him a message earlier to ask him when he wanted me to bring his things over, and he didn't really say much. I knew he wouldn't, and it's like I sent him a message just to hurt myself. He's not the person I thought I would spend my life with, but he's my person, and I miss him already. I felt like I was settling in that relationship, but I don't know what to do with myself now. I feel lost, empty, and lonely. I started looking at dating sites, and made the mistake of reaching out to an ex boyfriend/ex FP. That's just led to more bad feelings... It could be its own post. I just don't know what to do. Is it wrong for me to want the relationship back that I just helped to end? I've gone through so many different feelings about it, like now I can start dating and trying to find someone even better for me, but so incredibly sad because we were very close, as anyone would be after dating for nearly a year. It was almost at out 11 month anniversary that he said he needed space and I said I wanted to break up. It felt like he agreed about breaking up when I said it, and I regret ever mentioning anything about it. I was just so riled from the silence that he was giving me while he was away. It doesn't help that part of the reason I've been so much lately is because of PMS. All the other times he asked for space, I was always around the same part of my cycle. I just really don't know what to do, I kind of want to reach out and try to win him back, but he's the one who asked for space initially. I'm afraid that since I said I wanted to be done with him asking for space, that I wanted to end the relationship because it felt hard on me, that he won't be the one to reach out when he's ready. He's still not the boy I thought I was going to spend my life with, that one left me right before I started dating this one and that's something that wouldn't happen for years (if we ever felt ready). He's the one that I want for the moment, though. I would give anything to have him sleep next to me, which a year ago I would've said about the first boy (even two weeks ago, but then I reached out and he's still a bit of a sour apple). I just don't know what I'm doing with my life. I already didn't have direction myself, and now I'm really lost. I feel like being in a relationship keeps me grounded.

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TL;DR Boyfriend of 11 months and I came to mutual agreement to breakup after he started getting distant. He decided he didn't have enough direction in his life and wanted space, I decided that I've had enough of him not talking to me about how he's feeling so we can work it out and asked to breakup. He agreed, now I'm lonely and sad and want him to know that I'll take him back again once (if ever) he feels ready. I'm afraid that he's not going to want me back.