How can one exist happily? Body dysmorphia consumes me and my insecurities devour my soul. The anxiety, makes me feel as if I was trapped in a small cage, with the keys thrown away, enduring this pain for ever. People are happy, they smile, laugh, while you feel as if part of your body has died, numb to emotions, to affection and to happiness, just submerged into sadness, fearing that this will be your fate for the upcoming decades until the inevitable end of your existence. 

A lot of years lost, suffering and drowning every day and especially at night as the darkness shades your tears. The chemicals in your brain, they don't co-exist with each other, happiness is crushed by sadness and anxiety. Loneliness, is my fate, which I have already accepted, realizing the soul destroying reality that I might never find love. The future for a second looks bright and exciting, yet it only takes half a second to realize the grim reality I live in.