2 years ago (I was 15), I went through a long phase of depression/anxiety. It was so bad, that I was close to the point of committing suicide. There were multiple times when I would pick up a knife or some other weapon and think to myself how easy it would be to take all the pain away. The only reason I didn't commit was because of the pain it would cause my family and friends. I went to my parents for help and they invalidated my feelings. They told me that what I was feeling was not real and that it will go away. They did not offer to seek out help, but rather made me feel unsafe and scared to share my emotions. Recently I have started to feel a little more like this. I have had a couple of anxiety attacks (I think) that consisted of the overwhelming urge to cry and throw up, a full-body sensation of heat, and the inability to sit still. I also never stop overthinking things. It hasn't come back full force, but I am afraid it will. Because of this, I want to get help from a professional or someone who knows what they are talking about, but since I am not 18, I can't just go to a professional without my parents knowing. If anyone can help me out with this, that would be great.

Thank you