Im dealing with someone who I believe has undiagnosed BPD. At this point, I've given up hope on a relationship, really even friendship. He is really sick, I love and care about him, in general but his life. His life is precious. Even if he doesn't see that always. Sadly when he began to split on me (pretty badly) I had to step back. He would break up with me, and then things changed. He hasn't painted me black fully, but things ramp up. It's to the point where he will make up that I said things in a split. Not just misinterpreting how I said then, but actually cut and paste things I've said in the past (catch phrases) and insert them into memories. He genuinely believes he is right. I just don't want to argue period. 

I'm not sure how to deal. Sometimes I change the subject, I try not to engage it as it's fruitless. If I say I didnt' say it, I get accused of lying. Then he wants to prove me wrong so he "doesn't feel crazy". And I won't admit I said something I didnt? 

The larger issue is his life. He is running himself into the ground coming cold turkey off Klonopin (regardless of what everyone has advised) and that of course ramps everything up more. I need to protect myself, but if anyone has any advice at all about boundaries, etc. Im open. This whole thing feels bigger than me. Bigger than him. It's really hard. If the most caring thing I could do is go NC and I was sure, I would do that. Even if it hurt me. I just want to do what's right/best for both. I felt on the phone the other night he was twisting my words and acting trying to 'get me' or 'catch me' prove I was bad. That was kinda scary bc I was calling to check and make sure hes ok. He was cycling a lot of emotions, suspicion, sadness, confusion, hurt, abandonment, missing me, hating me?, etc. I feel helpless. Not hopeless. But hopeless for our relationship. I am beginning to accept he may indeed paint me black and chose the wrong path- and there's not much I could do. But if there was, I'd do it.