I’ve had severe depression for years now and have been in the psych ward a few times for my attempts. Recently some more stress has been added that’s making my depression unbearable. I’m finding myself daydreaming about killing myself constantly. I really can’t think about anything else besides how much I want to die. I also have treatment resistant depression and have been on a variety of meds, all have done nothing. I’ve seen tons of therapists who haven’t helped but also my therapists were pretty shit so maybe I should look for a better one? Like seriously one of my therapists actually opened up a CBT book and read out one of the pages to me. 

I don’t know how to stop these constant thoughts about how much I want to die. I force myself to sleep for around 15-20 hours a day just so I can get a break from the thoughts and it’s causing me to fail college.