At first I really hated the idea of having someone new because I’m terrible with new people and don’t like change. At first without knowing him I made a snap judgement because he came across a little bit arrogant and thought I wouldn’t like him. We had a shift together where we were alone, he was nice and friendly, asking me questions about myself which I find difficult and makes me uncomfortable but at least he was making an effort. 

It feels like he gives me attention and now it feels exciting having someone new around. At first I thought he might be attracted to me but idk, even though he’s not my type physically though he’s not unattractive. It’s kinda bad that I want him to be attracted to me for that ego boost, I think I’m kinda getting attracted to how he acts and his personality, there’s something unique about him. 

I find myself really wanting to have shifts with him, keep checking the rota to know when I’ll see him again and keep thinking about him when I’m home. I saw him for like 10 mins this week and might seem him in passing next week but our shifts aren’t the same which makes me sad. Also sometime he’s going to leave because he doesn’t live here so when it’s allowed he’s moving back. 

I guess I’m just feeling really lonely lately, my close work mate left a few weeks ago which has been really difficult. I haven’t felt close to a guy in a long time or had attention in person.