I always seem to get anxious when a holiday is coming up. In this case it's the 4th of July and it's literally because I feel like a loser since I never have any plans. Growing up we never really did anything either, I just stayed home and watched fireworks in my backyard or sometimes my friend would invite me to watch them with her family and it never bugged me, that I didn't have any special plans. But I noticed when I was in college I started getting anxious about it because I see the people I follow on Instagram posting about parties or even having a big family gathering to celebrate and it makes me kind of sad because I never had that; I never had a huge group of friends nor was my family so tightly knit. The few friends that I have are spread out all over the country due to jobs so it gets lonely sometimes.

Anyway, I guess this kind of all came up because someone asked me if I was doing anything for the 4th of July and I always feel so lame saying "nothing, just chilling around the house". I feel like this for all holidays and I wish I didn't feel so much pressure to socialize and have a big shindig just because other people are.