I am currently crying and feeling like shit. I had the urge to self harm but I didn’t. I wish I had some alcohol right now but I don’t and I could go and get some but I am literally on a diet and I don’t wanna break it (lmao how that’s my only concern)

My boyfriend just said he’s going to bed after a long day at work (it’s 10pm). We usually stay up on Facetime but not today. 

He asked me to help ‘talk to him’ while he masturbates (saying his dick is small and how it’s still enough - that kinda fetish). I tried to help but he just told me I don’t understand him sexually and it upset me. He then said ‘I’ll talk to you later’ and then when he was done he just said good night i love you. 

That then triggered this upset. And I don’t have anyone else to talk to. Not even friends atm. Am I being dramatic? I can’t help it that this is what triggers me to be so so fucking depressed.