i’ve tried antidepressants before. lots of trial and error that affected my sex drive (which is super important to me). i’ve only ever had bad experiences with psychiatrists (and doctors in general). i am scared to see someone and i don’t like like them/don’t trust their judgement. i’m also scared of going through all the trial and error again.  but i don’t think i can last much longer with how i am now (constantly depressed, maladaptive daydreaming, paranoia, sleep deprivation, ideation etc). 

part of me still hopes i can ward all these symptoms off with exercise and a proper diet, but i know realistically that’s not going to happen. especially when i’ve recently found myself much more stressed. 

if anyone has any advice or experience they’d like to share, i think i could find some comfort and rationality in it. 

ps. i also just got diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, so i’m worried about that medication too.