I was diagnosed with BPD yesterday, so I feel like this subreddit will be a good place to share my thoughts. If you have some free time to read it and share your experiences, I'll be more than happy to hear about that.

So... in relationships I always try hardest, and even though I can be hard to be with sometimes, I always take accountability for what I do, and i try to make it up to the other person the best i can. Yet every person, who was in a relationship with me (friendships and romantic ones) left and didn't seem to care too much about it. 

I have a lot of questions on my mind:
Am I even worthy of being missed? Is it too easy to replace me? Why do they leave so easily? Am I a bad friend/partner? 
And I can't find the answer.

Do you know a song titled "Afraid" by The Neighbourhood? There's a part that says:

When I wake up, I'm afraid
Somebody else might take my place
When I wake up, I'm afraid
Somebody else might end up being me

That's how I feel every time I meet someone new. And it hurts. I wish I were someone else, who's not easily replaceable.

And there's also a book by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry called "The Little Prince". And there's that one quote that's stuck in my mind:

"I am looking for friends. What does that mean -- tame?"

"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. "It means to establish ties."

"To establish ties?"

"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world....

And my biggest wish is to be unique in all the world to someone. I hear so much that nothing lasts forever. Why can't it last forever? Do you understand me? How do you feel about that?