I'm in a potentially emotionally/verbally abusive relationship and it's really tough. My BF and I are both 24 and I think he's had it with me. To the point where he tells me to shut the fuck up, fuck off, calls me a bitch, and tells me not to burden him with my issues when I ask for support relating to BPD. Anytime we get in a disagreement about anything or if I bring up anything he doesn't want to talk about he says he doesn't even want to be with me anymore which forces me to apologize profusely and drop the subject or just say what I think he wants to hear. I partially think the whole reason he acts like this is my fault, because I'm the one with the mental issues. 

Anyone in their right mind would leave this situation ASAP. If my friend was in this relationship I would be telling them to leave. But I just can't. I can't get over feeling that everything will not be okay- I can't handle being alone. I can't believe anyone that says it will get better with time, I'll cope, etc. I am genuinely afraid of what I will do to myself if I broke it off my with my boyfriend and turned out alone. I get panic attacks so terrible just thinking about it, that I can't even imagine what would happen. I don't know what to do. I know this relationship sounds textbook abusive. But I can't leave. I can't be alone. As mean as he can get sometimes he's my support system and I don't know what I'd do without a confidant, a best friend, etc. 