Before covid I was a really confident . I liked challanges and despite how worse the things around me were (constant shaming + bullying + making fun of infront of everyone+ left alone no friends + being ignored etc....) 
I used to always come on top with best results in both curricular and non curricular activity. Because I had that fire to fight

During covid when things got worse with all the bad things remaining same but alot more ( studying stuff that I don't like out of pressure of parents , failing badly , not seeing any one for months I changed my school therefore I didn't knew a single person there, became over weight ) not having single person to talk to for whole weeks . still some how I managed to survive this with thought of a particular girl that I loved. 
I was failing at everything for past 2 years but still managed to take a fight because deep inside me I knew that girl will be with me at the end of this time

Coming to Recently I feel I have been friend zoned by that girl when we had our last interaction and now I feel my life is falling into bits. I have lost my confidence.. I have lost my self trust , my fire to fight is gone. I feel I am losing hope from my self. I am very insecure all of a sudden. I have my college tests coming up and I feel like I don't know a single thing.... All other people are so better than me I am such a slug .. All of the people around me are so perfect. They look attractive... They are intelligent .. They are smart... where as I am a big slug who is a embarrassment to my family ands everyone I know. Why would any one love me . i am fake. Not good at anything