I've \[20F\]  been really struggling the past few weeks. I can barely take care of myself or get out of bed, and have fallen completely behind in my university work. I'm probably going to fail at least one class because I haven't been able to leave my house to attend classes for around 2 weeks.

I don't have any friends IRL despite trying to put myself out there and spread kindness. I don't have any support whatsoever, I'm completely alone. Most days I don't even talk to another person. 

I don't care about anything anymore, not even things that would help before when I was doing this badly. All I do is watch stupid YouTube videos and stare at the wall. I started smoking cigarettes again, and relapsed self harming for the first time since I was in high school. I just don't see the point in anything. I don't even feel sad anymore, I feel nothing. I can't even cry. I'm physically sick from how bad I'm doing as well - my eye bags are dark purple against my very pale complexion, my hair is falling out. I don't know how to cope - I'm so lonely and numb. I don't ever see myself getting better, both of my bio parents are severely mentally ill. I just want to feel content, but nothing I ever do is enough.