There’s so much to write I don’t even know where to begin. I can’t describe what I’m feeling it’s a mix of so many things but it is not a good feeling. I’ve felt like this for a few weeks now and it’s not getting better. I just want somebody who’s going to hug me and tell me that I’m a good person. Lately I’ve been speaking to myself out loud, I think out of loneliness or maybe a way to better understand myself idk but I realized that I’ll randomly say things out loud like “fuck”. I do this a lot. I was starting to feel really sad and so I broke up with my girlfriend who I wasn’t feeling the love from and ended up hurting myself even more. I wake up and think about how much of an embarrassment I am to her family, a stupid man. I dream about this girl, and think about how stupid I was to let her go, I tried getting in touch with her, but she don’t care. Everytime I talk to my parents it’s usually an argument. Things you couldn’t possibly imagine turning into an argument are things my parents will get mad at me about. I punched a hole in my wall out of pure fucking anger. I need everyone around me to fuck off but I want someone to hold me. The couple times I tried to have sex my genitals didn’t want to work, and so I’m embarrassed about that aswell can’t stop thinking about how I’m less of a man at a very young age. Can’t even please a woman and I was so excited to get to do so. I don’t even care about pleasing myself. It’s more that I let down the other person. Embarrassed, upset, fucking angry, and sad. I just want someone to hold onto me. I want One person who genuinely wants to be around me all the time. Or at least for the moments where I feel alone. Thanks for reading what I’m going through right now :) I wish all of you a good day