Hi. I just really need to get this off my mind and out into the universe so thank you for reading. This year I have struggled with anxiety and depression for the first time. I became more active, exercising regularly, trying to take family walks, going to yoga class. Lately I’ve had to prioritize other people in my life and put my stuff on the back burner and it has made me go back down hill. 

I recently started experiencing anxiety attacks at night as I try to go to sleep. I had one last night that was so physically uncomfortable I almost called an ambulance. I am still feeling the effects of it today in my neck. It feels like I have smothered my neck in icy hot and I am always on the verge of tears. It doesn’t help that my pre-k and kindergartener just started school yesterday so I am an emotional mess. Last night I felt a sudden wave of fear, heart racing, icy hot neck, extreme shivering, hard to breathe. It felt like it lasted forever and I had more mild versions of it the rest of the night. 

I went to therapy for the first time in May to discuss all of my fears and worries both personal and of the state of the world, and have found it hard to make regular appointments because they are all so busy. I went to speak with the person who prescribes medicine in June and asked a bunch of questions about if medication is right for me. I thought I had a handle on things so I decided to wait, but after experiencing worsening anxiety attacks I am ready to try Zoloft. I really hope it helps. I am desperate to feel okay again.