the past year has been very hard for me. honestly the past ten years have been very hard for me. honestly my entire life has been very hard for me. i’ve been depressed ever since i could remember. i remember sitting in first grade thinking i should kill myself. then i would think if i hold out for adult life maybe it will be better. but i still feel like everyday i am covered in broken glass aching in agony. my life is a nightmare, just a compilation of horrifying events that i thought would never happen. i really do try. but i always end up alone, people spare no time telling me how horrible i am and i supposed they’re most likely right. i don’t belong. i just want to sleep it all away but then i’ll just have nightmares just as bad. i am so tired. i just want it all to be over already. the only reasons i have to keep going i am beginning to think would be better off without me. i’ve been told i’ll just fuck those things up too. i’m supposed to do something really big soon and i don’t even think i’ll have it in me to do it. i wish i could just be anybody else. i hate myself. i wish i was just normal.