Hi, 

Recently decided to start sharing on here in the hope that some of you might be able to help me out.

Basically, working hard to overcome all my addictions which have been masking the problems I've been facing with BPD for many many years: I quit cocaine 3 years ago, Weed 2 years ago, Alcohol and nicotine close to 11 months ago. Still working on porn addiction. 

As of yet I am undiagnosed, yet am in therapy, and my therapist is aware I have an unstable if not, sometimes absence sense of self, as well as the addiction issues, emotional deregulation, and some other stuff that is very strongly correlated to the things found in Borderline Personality Disorder. I'll be talking to him on friday about these concerns and see what might be done.

I've been doing yoga, and mindfulness meditation on and off for about 4 years and have found them to be of great great help in dealing with my overpowering emotions, impulsivity, and mood swings etc. 

As per BPD, I find I have, in the past, had very lacking boundaries, that have perhaps changed frequently, leaving people I interact with at a loss as to how they are supposed to act around and towards me. I have been labelled intense, and have been told by an old friend with whom I had a massive falling out, and who won't speak to me any more, that if I was to resolve my interpersonal relationship issues, I would have a wonderful life. I guess sometimes I am too passive, sometimes too aggressive, sometimes far too giving, sometimes far to seemingly 'selfish or self-centred', basically, unable to find the balance between various opposing types of behaviours.

A lack of emotion, or more precisely a lack of accepting my emotions was one major problem that I'm only recently beginning, with the help of yoga and mindfulness meditation, to overcome. 

To those who have been diagnosed, and who have been through the hell that this often causes, I'd like to ask what your recommendations might be.

If/when I obtain a positive diagnosis, 

What books would you recommend?
What activities would you recommend?
What techniques would you recommend?
What else would you recommend?

I hope some of you can answer this, and help me out. Otherwise I often worry that given my ability to cope in a well regulated manner, I'm either going to end up dead or in jail because of my behavioural problems. 


Many thanks in anticipation of your replies.

FFF
 