Hi there ☺️

I am new to Reddit, and have never really done stuff like this before. I joined this forum to see how others deal/dealt with their anxiety and worries, and to see if I can relate and if anyone can relate with me! 

So I first noticed my anxiety a few years ago now when I was working one of my first proper office jobs for a big national corporation based in the heart of London. I didn’t see eye to eye with my manager as I felt as I was the young/inexperienced employee I found a lot of mistakes (even when I was following instructions or I wasn’t even involed) was blamed on me. When I’d bring this up to management I was told “not to worry it doesn’t concern you” even though it was my name which was being slandered. I would often hear from other colleagues that management had told them that I was “hanging by a thread” or “they want my head on a stick”. This was when my anxiety started. I often found it didn’t start until I went to bed though, and my thoughts would take over. I found myself getting 2/3 hours a night with the rest awake with worry that tomorrow was going to be my last day and I’d be let go, letting my family down and not being able to get another job. 

This was when I stumbled upon relaxing ambience videos on YouTube, whether it was watching the snow fall around a log cabin, or watching traffic pass on a highway. I found if I would relax, and watch these videos with no distractions it would take my mind off the daily struggles I was facing. I would often try sleep paralysis whilst watching these videos and try to imagine myself away from my current day to day, and in freedom in the middle of nowhere gazing up at the stars, or watching the burning log fire in the middle of the forest. Over time whenever I started to worry I would take a deep breath and imagine myself in that scenario, I guess it was a separate world for me where my thoughts didn’t take over?

I have told friends about this who I know also suffer from anxiety, and have since used these videos to meditate, relax, de-stress and often although very rarely now (I’m no longer in the the awful job) to help my anxiety. 

Being in this pandemic and lockdown has made me think about how I felt a few ago when this was happening, and I want to try and help others who also suffer from anxiety. I have also started my own YouTube channel and videos to try and help others. 

If you’re reading this and you’re going through a tough time, I want you to know that you’re not alone and not to sound cliche but their is a light at the end of the tunnel. The sun will come out when the rain passes so stay strong and know you’re not alone. 

If anyone wants to reach out to me I will be happy to share any good videos I used or even the ones I have uploaded, as this is a tough/daily journey but together we can get over it.