I ended up getting lazy and not going to see the movie I wanted to see called Jujutsu Kaisen. Then it began raining and I can’t go on my jog today either. So it’s been a chill day and they finished painting most of the exterior for the new house. I told my mom I will give her an amount of my ssi every month to build the house and now I only have $20 in the bank. One of my ex friends hosts a Women’s support group but she blocked me for complaining to her too much about my schizophrenia. I want to attend the group but she hasn’t replied. I want to do some shopping, look nice, be more social, and do something with myself. But I believe at the same time that this life isn’t even real. I was rejected from the Honolulu clubhouse because I live too far away, though that really isn’t my crowd. Sometimes it cheers me up just to go out to the city and buy lunch. I imagine going to visit my relatives and bringing a guy with me. Idk, I guess I do complain a lot.