my mother called before Xmas wanting me to come to her.

she pretends she doesn't know what subjects I study and pretends she doesn't know how I obtain money.

I call her out on her bullshit because I don't play along pretending she doesn't know.

she sticks to her story.

i hang up and copy paste whatsapp messages where you can see we talked about those topics already and she did know.

i call again and confront her and demand apology.

she starts crying telling me how she was just wanting to give me money to come visit her and he is all alone.

i demand apology.

she keeps crying and I hang up.


via WhatsApp receive xmas message and new years message to which I respond that I demand apology which is being ignored.


story of my life

my emotions don't matter. my emotional requirements are being ignored. i don't matter. i feel worthlessness.

anger ensues. unloved. nobody would treat me like that except my fucking mother cunt and my sister who adapted her behavior towards me.


her birthday is coming up at the weekend and I feel obliged to send her a message.

i fucking hate that cunt so much.

i am diagnosed by several psychiatrist and psychologist independently of BPD and show all traits.

i am really proud of myself for standing up for myself and not playing along her bullshit.

fucking cunt ignores me and pretends nothing happened. like all my life.
only drugs and alcohol could take away my feelings