im on the verge of



self harming again. i haven’t done it in 4 years but I’m having a very bad episode.  i hope i can stay strong enough this evening but i don’t think so. this is one of the worst episodes i have had in a year and i already have to refrain myself from not literally offing myself right now. i rlly need to find the strength. i don’t know how it can get so bad again with this episode. i’m lost. i don’t even want to reach out to anyone because no one even cares.