Siblings don't answer my messages or calls, leave me on read and complain that I don't try behind my back. One hasn't even reached out to me for years. I'm 10+ years younger than them, which is what most people point to as the reason for this. 
My girlfriend's brother who I was very close to decided after he started taking meth to pick a fight with me over some food, now he sends abuse to my gf and states I'm the reason they don't talk. And that side of the family won't get involved in it. 
My parents have given me so much but I feel unworthy of it. I've been depressed and emotionally abused by them for a long time, now they spoil me and my siblings don't believe depression is a real thing it's just 'be happier, think positive' which I try to do and keep making improvements in my life. But it's hard. It's really hard. I've avoided certain things in my life because if I did them I'd end up using it to kill myself because I'm so depressed all the time- but they don't understand that and see me as being a failure again. 
One side of my grandparents have nothing to do with me, they have a family and loved ones but don't try to engage with me or my parents. I feel abandoned and like no one cares about me. I want to die but part of me wants to keep going to spite them, to show I'm more than what they say. 
I've studied for so long but it's not my passion, but my parents invested in me financially so I have to follow through. 
I just feel overwhelmed by the lack of love given to me by my siblings, the blame placed on me for things either I never did or have no control over etc. I just want to be happy and share love with those around me. Idk.