just had a talk with my mom and she doesn't see what's bad on asking " when will you go the gym? we can go together 🤪" when I'm trying on clothes. And apparently I'm blaming others for being fat when all I'm asking is to step up when my dad asks" when I'm going to the gym? " when i just came to eat dinner and not sit and pretend nothing happened. Of fucking course i blame myself since 3rd grade. I fucking hate myself. I hope i die as fast as i can because I'm worthless and a stupid piece of shit that's a burden. I hope one day I'll have enough courage to kill myself.