Recently I posted a giant thread about how an FP came back into my life during a time of chaos in my life to help and actually created a hell of a lot more pain for me.  She said she wanted to come back and stay with me longer and would say she cares and then not reply to texts.  Last night I ended that stupid shit.  Told her I did not want her coming to see because I make bad decisions around her and I wish her the best.  Hurts but feels good in a way.  I need to find validation somewhere because I'm not good at validating myself, is that even a thing with BPD?  So now I will start looking for validation from people that actually give a shit and not just pretend to when it's convenient for them.