So for a long time I've been feeling depressed. And Ignored it thinking it would go away. But it got so bad I thought that everything I knew was going to end or change for the worst. Impending doom it felt like. So I had plans to kill myself before I turned 21. That was July 2nd. I still wanted to do it before December but then something changed. I didn't wanna die but at the same time everything got so much more more worse in my head. Everyone and everything I knew started to feel so foreign and distant. Like I was on another planet or something. I even felt like a stranger to my self. And I started having anxiety attacks. I was screaming and crying every night and time I was alone. This started happening Monday or Tuesday. Right when college started back up while still going to work. I was so terrified about what the future may hold and I was afraid I might lose control and kill my self just to elevate the suffering. I finally reached out and contacted a crisis specialist and to some of my friends and eventually my folks. So hopefully I'll be getting treatment soon but until then I just want to have some idea of what this is. Has anyone else had this feeling before?