Hey!!

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to start, so I guess I'll just begin somewhere.

I finished school about 2 years ago, after that I went abroad to study a new language for a year and I guess I was sort of hoping to see that I'd be able to re-invent myself and find new friends. However, I didn't really do any of that. At some point I was just constantly at my apartment, doing nothing really. And somehow I managed to get through an entire year of basically just that.

I met people in my class and there was a really nice girl I became 'friends' with (we don't talk anymore though, I'm not big on texting so with her living in another country it just didn't work), but my anxiety kept pushing me to think that none of them really liked me. I've always had this problem, even with my lifelong best friend where I almost started to sabotage our friendship, thinking it was going to end either way.

Now to my current problem: I've been trying to get myself to enroll in university, I was just always unsure of what I wanted to do, but lately I've had some more time to think and I came to the conclusion that it's probably just because I'm too afraid of meeting new people. I take ages to really get comfortable with someone and I'm too insecure in my talents up to the point where I gave up on dreams because I thought I'd never be able to do something like that anyways. 

Somewhere in my mind I know that it's just the anxiety talking, but how can I get myself to believe it? I love learning new stuff and making things, but if it's not perfect on my first try, I'll just think I'm too untalented.

My anxiety has been at its peak for a while now, because I need to do something, but instead I spend every day distracting myself and procrastinating as much as possible.

I guess I don't really know what I'm trying to say or get out of this, but has anyone had a similar experience? What did you do to start actually doing something? 
And I'm sorry if this whole thing was a little bit of a mess, I can't seem to put my thoughts into coherent sentences.