A few weeks ago I posted on here about sending letters to some friends who had stopped talking to me because of my actions against myself during a crisis (I never acted out or threatened them, only expressed my feelings to myself). Particularly one who had just gotten married. I also wrote some to some friends who have really helped me out. These went well however the other didn’t.

I basically expressed to them how I was sorry, and that I knew I had hurt them and tried to explain what it is like for me. I said I understand if now is not right but if they could please consider contacting me. I also included a small gift. I ended up getting the gift returned to me with a note with a few lines. Literally saying no thank you. You still haven’t learnt and you aren’t taking responsibility. I’m not ready to talk and may never be

When I got this I just completely lost it and hurt myself really badly. I seriously was just done with everything and considered going further. 

In my session today my therapist said I should feel angry at her response. That my gesture was kind and giving. That I should consider if I really want her back in my life. But I struggle to see that. I just see myself as deserving of this, worst person ever. She says this is wrong but really is my therapist going to tell me that kinda stuff even if it is true. 

I just don’t know what to do guys. I feel like I’m doomed to be forever alone and that all I do is unconsciously hurt people