This week has thrown me into one of those extremely draining and painful spirals where I’m basically having an ongoing meltdown for 4 days. It finally ended and today was a much better day. But during that time, as always, I screamed at my family and said the most hurtful things possible. (No shaming necessary, I just cannot control the anger that pours out of me and the combination of isolation with just my parents at 18 for such a long time has thrown me for a loop). 

After saying things you don’t mean, how do you deal with the guilt or paranoia that follows? I mean like, after I’m done with my rage I have irrational fears that my family will die and that this is the last thing they’ll hear me say.