I become anxious with normal everyday interactions, and I’m so tired of it. I would love to know what it’s like to have a conversation with someone without agonising over every little detail; what am I going to say, I have nothing to say, their going to pick up on this and it’s going to become awkward. I wish I could just be in the moment and truly enjoy others company. 

This sounds dramatic, but I almost feel as if the world is caving in on me and I want to disappear at times. My heart races, I’m constantly thinking of the next thing to say. I get imposter syndrome, and feel as if I’m pretending to be someone I’m not, desperately trying to be normal. 

For this reason I prefer to be alone because it takes to much energy interacting with others. I worry that I’ll never be able to create meaningful relationships and will be alone for most of my life. Can anyone else relate to this or have a similar experience?