I still remember what that first person told me “ dont sell yourself short”

I took that with inspiration out into the world. I may not be able to change the world, but it can’t slow me down.

I devoted my time and passion to helping children.

My pride as a hardworker in a job i hate

My body to be a better person.

5 years of tackling on challenges i started to die. As quickly as i am motivated i am down in my low.

I dedicated three years of my life to help childrend at a hospital. When things got rough and i was unable to do it anymore. All i got was “a thank you have a nice day” In response, i wished for them to be safe and weeks later they responded with “ you too” almost as an afterthought 

I knew i can be better but the world didnt want me to be, so now im a place i hate so much that i am dissociating myself from people. I am ashamed  my strengths never reached their full potential.

My pride is non-existant. I am afraid of mirrors. I love wearing masks because it hides my ugliness 

My body is growing weaker because i given up on it. 5 years of training but because im not as beautiful as a supermodel. I must be terrible.
- my 13min 1.5mile speed is growing harder and harder to do because im ugly
- i can no longer do the weights i can do
- my body falls apart when i train .

Don’t give up they said. but am i even alive?