Blerghed out my feelings on paper today, made me feel a little bit better.

Putting this out there for no real reason other than I felt like it.

&amp;#x200B;

"It's pleasant in the darkness here, my own little world.

I've lived here, secluded, for a long time, in my own litttle world.

In the beginning I filled it with all the doodads and ways to escape that I could find.

Anything that would stick, with me, in my own little world.

&amp;#x200B;

Everything I wanted, was to be a part of the big world, the other world.

But noone sent me an invite, so I stayed here, where I've always been.

Busy with all my doodads and my escapes from reality.

&amp;#x200B;

One day, an invitation came, to the other world.

I was careful at first;

Why was I to be invited now, after all these years?

&amp;#x200B;

But the inviter insisted, so I accepted wholeheartedly.

What a magnificent world it was.

Warm, welcoming and full of love.

Here I lived, for what seemed like the blink of an eye.

&amp;#x200B;

Until my own little world, with all my doodads and escapes, called me back.

It told me:

The world you're living in right now, the big world, is mischevious, false and filled with lies.

It's only a matter of time before you will realize it for yourself.

&amp;#x200B;

I moved back.

To the place where I have lived, for what seems like an eternity, in my own little world.

&amp;#x200B;

The feeling isn't what it used to be.

All my old doodads and my old escapes from this reality, no longer offer any comfort.

&amp;#x200B;

Here I stand, empty, in my own little world.

Wishing that I can somehow, someway, someday find my way back.

To that big, magnificent world.

&amp;#x200B;

But the wish is cancerous, because I know I am poison.

The poison which ruins the feeling of warmth, welcoming and love in the big world.

No matter where I go, it turns into my own, empty, little world.

&amp;#x200B;

So where do I go, if not to nothing."