So, I have been what you'd call lightly depressed most of my life, but nothing too serious, I was into self harm in my teens but nothing after that and nothing too serious (I don't have any scars), as an adult (30yo) when something stressful happens I get overly emotional and suicidal (I didn't do an attempt but God it was tempting to look for a solid place to hung myself from, I would never jump out of the window or things that could leave me disabled and alive and the thought leaves my body in a small amount of time, I took some sleeping pills and woke up alright (lightly depressed normal, could go out and socialize) so is this even depression? I was depressed in childhood and it was like living in an all Grey world with nothing to feel and nothing to matter... It is not the case now at all... Does anyone feel the same? I am afraid of seeing a psychiatrist and risk losing my job because mental health is key in it lol.