A couple weeks ago I was actively suicidal and I found a method to do it, but I had trouble acquiring one if the ingredients. I was also unsure if it was really going to work so instead I just passed all my classes this semester. Now i have winter break. But if someone offered to kill me or if I saw a high place that was easily accessible I would do it.

Dunno if theres anything wrong with this mentality. living just seems really hard even if there are moments of happiness. If I could just quit easily I would.