I have severe anxiety as well as severe depressive episodes. I’ve been dealing with them for over 10 years with the help of my doctors, but lately I’ve not been going to the psych because I’m broke and really can’t afford to get help. This also means I’m unmedicated. It’s been fine, because I still have skills I learned in previous therapy sessions.

I meditate daily, I journal often, I exercise daily, I eat well often, I spend time with my pets daily, I call my family often, I practice CBT often (via a free app), I practice self care and coping mechanisms often, etc.. My whole day is basically filled with activities to keep my disorders somewhat contained. It’s exhausting and sometimes I don’t keep up with it as well as I should.

The second I stop any of these coping skills, everything comes back in full force. I can be panic attack free for months (used to be every day, multiple times a day), and then if I stop any of my activities I get a very harsh reminder of why I’m considered disabled by my conditions. I’m back to frequent panic attacks and psychosis symptoms. Nearly back at square one because I had a depressive episode and didn’t keep up with my activities like I should have.

I’m so tired and frustrated.