Has anyone else had a long time FP where you’ve cared obsessively about their opinion, their actions, who else they talk to, whether they still love you/still attracted to you etc?

I’ve had the same FP for 2 years and when we first broke up (he left me for someone else) I felt physically sick. But quickly, I got over it and kept holding onto hope that we’d get back together again and we did. Now it feels like the obsessions, feeling desperate for attention and feeling extremely upset and anxious whenever a text is strange is not really a problem anymore and I mainly just feel comfortable around him.

I still sometimes care a lot about his view on me but not as much. I have a feeling this might be because we’re now back together and very happy, I feel much more comfortable and less worried about him leaving me/no longer liking me.

I also realised that when we were split up and just friends, I didn’t care about his opinion but now I do?? Is that normal? I spoke to my friend who said that not requiring validation from someone who you feel comfortable around is a sign of being a lesbian not bpd

Is it common for obsessions to get less strong after you feel more comfortable?