I have bpd, and I have a habit of ghosting the people I love (i get in these really bad moods and just shut down for months). In the past I have gone back to some of those friendships. Currently I have completely isolated myself for about a half year. I really want to rekindle some friendships, but I’m very scared of just ending up ghosting them again like I always do. I hate hurting my friends, and yet I feel hopeless to change. I am wondering if anyone here struggles with the same. If you have any good friendships, how do you maintain them? Should I bother any of my old friends knowing there’s a chance I’ll hurt them again. I’m so lonely.. But I feel that I deserve to be alone.