I am someone who has *always* struggled with their mental health. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, as well as OCD. I was doing counseling until a month ago when my counselor abruptly quit. This caused me a lot of anger and resentment. I felt that she, like so many others in my life, left me in my time of need. After that episode of self-loathing mixed with hatred was over, I began to think a bit more clearly about what the root of my anger issues could possibly be.

When thinking back on my past mental breakdowns, certain aspects stood out to me as relating to bpd. My mood is extremely fragile. One tiny dilemma can ruin my entire week. I hold a grudge like no other. I’ll be caught in the moment and hurl insults at people. I’m extremely accusatory and suspicious of everyone I get intimate with. I am wayyy too insecure to have a relationship. I have stopped myself from dating for over a year because I am absolutely insane and I don’t even realize how crazy I’m being until after I’m emotionally “sober.” Honestly, I know I need a proper diagnosis but I’m a little afraid to just spring all of this on a new counselor. 

Not sure if this is the right place to post since I’m not officially diagnosed, but dang after writing it all out there is definitely something wrong that goes deeper than just depression...