I honestly don’t know what to think anymore. Ever since I started actually showing my emotions the last two months in school and to my friends they don’t want to hang with me. 

Not one of them have asked how I’m holding up when I’m reality I’m going through internal shit. Everyday I think about how I could have saved my dad and wasn’t good enough. The last couple months I’ve been smoking to help with the pain. I told my ‘friends’ and now I’m too immature to be with them. I don’t understand why I’m not good enough to hang with them.