I hate being me. I hate this mental illness , I hate how it makes me perceive / interact with the world. I hate having so many mood swings. I hate being asked “ so how would you describe your mood over the last week ?” I CANT. It never stays consistent for more than 20 min. I hate 
Feeling so absolutely and completely crushed by what seems to be normal and capable things by most. I hate BPD:/. 

Having one of those days and it keeps getting worse , I don’t have my crystal rings on today but I definitely don’t want my last nerve to be held onto by a crystal ring…. Yenno. I want that whole stability thing and stop looking to the moons/starts but start to look inside myself for stability 

I want to be able to self soothe again:/