[tw mention of suicide]

i noticed myself feeling a lot worse lately so i checked my health app and realised that my period is due to start in around 6 days so i'm almost certain that im pmsing but i don't know how to cope. i've had quite a few inconveniences today, all of which were just unfortunate coincidences but i've been reacting really badly to them, like wishing harm on the people responsible and wanting to kill myself to just spite them, which is something i admittedly do a lot. the anger cycles between calming down and accepting my current situation then remembering that i'm in this situation and blowing up again. ive had a number of things to do today but my anger has rendered me unable to do anything.

i've decided that my only option now is to go to sleep before i do anything i regret but it's so frustrating how this always happens and i have no way to deal with it. i've been trying to take deep breaths and distract myself but my brain never rests and spends the whole time trying to remind me of what made me angry so i end up feeling angry again :/