i don't have any close friends that cares enough about me enough and i need people to talk me out of this qwq 

hello. i hope someone will see this and give me a wake up call. im going through a breakup with my fp whom i dated for almost a year and everythimg feels heavy to me i cant stop crying and begging for them to stay. i ended up making myself look even more pathetic but im just scared of being alone after all this time spent with them. they kept saying they 'loved' me and they onlu want us to be friends. i still love them the same &amp; waited for things to get better for us but i've been splitting a lot and it ruined everything. my bpd ruined everything and i regret it so much. im so tired of crying over this person but i dont want to let them go because i love them too much its hurting me. please help