For almost all my [19M] life ive been engrossed on my hobbies and hyper competitive in them and my academics. For the most part my friend circle has stayed the same and fairly small as I spent more time online and alone.

Now ive lost interest in a lot of the things I used to do and cant find the motivation to start things that might interest me because they take a lot of effort. Manifesting the willpower is quite difficult. I feel like if I disappeared everything would be fine

Honestly im pathetic for even writing this i live a cushy upper middle class lifestyle. I spent hundreds on collectibles this month just to feel a little bit of dopamine. Im too lazy to apply for internships this summer and im at serious risk of not getting paid. Fuck