Before I start, I am not asking for medication advice. I've done plenty of research and such, so I know what's out there. I'm just complaining. I have severe jealousy issues that stem from my BPD. It's weird because a lot of people believe that your partner(s) has to do something for you to be jealous and I guess that's true. Or there has to be a realistic source like they went out to dinner with an ex or some weird thing like that. But there is absolutely zero realistic reasoning for me to be jealous. My hubby and I both work from home and we're together all day, talking and sharing everything good and bad. We share most of the same friends and, to be honest, we're total homebodies so they're all online anyway. 

He doesn't flirt, not even in a joking way. He has never ever given me ANY reason to be jealous. It's just the opposite, he provides me so much love, care, support, and relief from my worries and such. But still, the absolutely consuming jealousy attacks.  


It's not just a little twinge. It's full-blown heart pounding, sick to my stomach, crying, horribly anxious jealousy. I'm not even sure what I think is happening/going to happen? I have complete faith he won't cheat on me and I also have complete faith that he isn't leaving me. He truly loves and cherishes me and I feel the same way about him.

Anyway, when I first found out I had BPD, I tried Thiothixene. I heard this could help jealousy and delusions a bit and I find that it's somewhat helpful but OMG, I feel extremely knocked out on the lowest dose. I have a REALLY hard time with meds, so many make me extremely tired and this one definitely does as well.

I heard of a study about Pimozone, so I suggested that, but after reading the side effects... I am not willing to risk it. There are bad side effects and then there are permanent ones that aren't even rare, from what the studies said. :|

So now I am looking for a new medication. I am also planning on re-starting therapy. I have a good career and can afford to be seen, so I feel that that will help a lot. Plus my partners support me 150%. 

Even though they support me, neither of them has BPD, so it's hard for them to understand the feeling, you know? That's really my reason for this rant/vent. I'm hoping someone may see and understand the feels... Though, I don't want anyone else to go through this. :/  **Oh and if anyone DOES have any coping skills, please do share!!!!**