So this conversation was a couple of weeks ago, but I can't stop ruminating about it. My provider prescribed me lamotrigine recently, and along with other changes in my life, this has been the most positive experience I've had with me 'trying to get better.' It's a lot of reasons - financial and housing stability, relationship stability, sobriety, and focus. But, I think this medication in particular has been a huge catalyst in allowing me to maintain all that. I can feel my depressive episodes not lasting as long.

Getting to the point - I tried expressing the significance of the positive effects of the drug for me and he said something along the lines of, 'well don't forget you also started therapy around the same time.' (Which wasn't actually true at all, it took months after for me to start therapy.) Like wtf? I just told you how much better I was feeling, I told you I recognized this came with the prescription and it's later increased dosages...and you would just brush that away?! I know providers can't always fully comprehend the experiences of their patients...but I still think about how he didn't listen to me and am considering bringing it up again next time.

Btw - this isn't at all knocking therapy. I expressed to him that I was trying to stick with therapy although it was hard - and basically he was dismissing that as well. The process of therapy is \*hugely\* underrated and brushed off as insignificant on it's own. It's basically like scheduling yourself to have an invasive procedure every time, knowing you won't likely feel better until after weeks and weeks of this painful process. It is joked at as a thing for wealthier people, people with time on their hands, people who don't 'need' it as much - that's all fairly true. A bipolar person needs stability, and proper medication, before they can reap the benefits of therapy, and I will stand by that, even as a person pursuing therapist as a career, currently in school.