The two events in the title aren’t really related, but sort of are I think. I don’t know. I’m really vulnerable right now because of losing my cats. And I met a guy on here who had I really relate to (we both had very similar unusual childhoods and feel like outsiders a lot.) I haven’t let myself feel this way about anyone for a long time. Not even my husband when we first met. And I’m trying to keep myself in check with this guy. We’ve only exchanged a few messages. But I find myself thinking this is fate and I’ve finally found someone who might understand me. I want to feel this intense connection. Some sick part of me wants to fall in love with him. Or rather the idea of love I guess. Obsession. Whatever. I’m trying to hold him at a distance and see things clearly. But I kind of want to give in to it and let myself become obsessed. I miss it. 