This month has honestly just kicked me down again and again and I don't know if I can take it anymore. 

My gran passed away at the start of the month and just as I thought I was getting to terms with it I had to put down my best friend of 11 years. I fucked up really bad with my bf and he'll probably break up with me and I'm terrified pregnant with his kid. I just want to not be here anymore, I feel like I can't deal with anything properly and im just so numb yet feel like crying all the time. I just want it to stop ya know, I just want to be a normal person with normal thoughts. Not this person who's emotions go overboard at the wrong times and just fuck everything up. I wish I wasn't me. 