Hello, this is something I’ve been really struggling with and I wonder if anyone can help.

So I’ve experienced both these things (on many occasions).

1. People telling me I’m too hyper, or that I’m loud in a social situation,  or that I seem too desperate etc. It should be said that people don’t always say this to me in a nasty way, but yeah.

then to contrast this…

2. I get very quiet and withdrawn. When I’m like this I’m not just quietly but people tell me it’s rude how withdrawn I am socially. It also just makes no one listen to what I have to say. I get being quiet/shy is fine but I feel like another level, people actively choose
not to talk to me when I’m like this and skip to the next person.

So I want to know how come I see quiet people thrive socially in comparison to me when I’m withdrawn and struggle?

And how can I ever expect to be confident if when I try to be people make the comments that I seem sarcastic, hyper etc. 

I know the best advice is “be yourself” but in both these moods I feel like myself? Additionally, I know I shouldn’t care what others think but I’m at the point where every single social interaction I’m too hyper (so no one respects me) or too quiet (so no on respects me). 

Any help or your own experiences would be super appreciated. Thanks guys!