Not sure if this is the right place to be posting this so I’m sorry if not, however I’m in need of some advice or similar stories for this topic.

I’m not sure if I actually have a depressive disorder, but I have a lot of depressive tendencies. Although I have friends (on paper, that is) and I’m in a relationship, I still feel very alone. I get nervous asking people to hang out - especially my bf - because I feel like I am a burden to their life and am better off staying by myself.

I always feel like I’m in the background; the extra that nobody really cares about. If I died today, barely anyone would notice and life would just resume to normal because I’m not all too important to anyone to begin with. 

I know I’m not perfect, but I really try my best to seem approachable and be kind to others and make them happy. I think my tendency to occasionally be closed off in large group settings (due to my social anxiety) is a turn off for a lot of people, but I really can’t help that.

I’m not looking for pity or anything, sincerely just advice, because I sit in my dorm room (I’m in college but do not have a roommate) many nights alone and cry my eyes out because I feel so alone and so removed from the ppl I find to be most important.

Does anyone else feel similarly? How do you cope? Thanks in advance.