I see this flash of a spectrum which I call the “karma spectrum” one side was good and the other was evil. I “lose karma” whenever I make a mistake no matter how big or small and I get the thought inserted that if I hurt myself I can somehow “regain” the karma I had lost. 
I tried to attach a small picture of what the spectrum looked like but it wouldn’t allow me to add a caption. Usually in the past I would cut to punish myself but i think it appears to evolving into a delusion