I was recently looking at pictures of myself as a baby with my late granddad. The picture was from when I was no older than a year old when I stayed in my grandparents house because my parents and my sister went on holidays to Spain. 

I remember this well because it maybe quite an iconic story among my family that we'd laugh about. But basically my parents and sister went on holidays to Spain when I was a baby and left me with my grandparents. 

When they came home I had zero memory of who they were as I thought that my grandparents were my real parents due to my real parents absence. They laugh and joke about how I refused to go home with them and they had to force me into the car seat kicking and screaming. I kept screaming and reaching for my grandmother who at this time I believed was my mother. I screamed and cried the whole 3 hour journey home and wasn't right or comfortable for days. 

Its funny though because even though I was a baby and obviously can't remember that time, when I look at those pictures at the time I spent in my grandparents I feel such happiness and calmness. It was probably so traumatic for me but at the same time I think it was because it was the first and only time in my life I had a mother figure who showed me emotional validation and love, even though I was a baby. 

But who knows I just wonder if this event that my family joke and laugh about has a much more significant impact on me than I thought