

I have never been like OK with things since i was 15-16, but I always thought that everything would be better when “this” or “that” happend. There where always things that i kinda have a reason for to feel bad. I live in Belgium and went to uni this year (recently turned 19).  I have absolutely 0 reasons to feel bad right now, I have a good friendgroup (and i come from a friend group in high school which i never 100% really clicked with except a couple of dudes) i have a girlfriend that i love and she loves me, i passed the first semester of school etc. 

I still don’t feel good/happy, and I really hate that I feel that way, maybe this is just life and I am overreacting, but i hate it, and i don’t know what to do. I also have always been pretty sensitive to alcohol/drugs, i mostly drink like 2 times a week, but when I drink, I drink a lot, just too much. I recently stopped doing harddrugs, I never did it in an “extreme” way, but last semester I did it almost once every week. When I drink too much I almost always get depressive thoughts near the end of the night.

Im posting this on a new account on reddit because im not good at telling how I feel in real life to people. My girlfriend knows that something is “off” but i have never been able to fully open up to her. My mom also notices sometimes, but I never had that kind of bond that i can tell everything to my mom. I just don’t know what to do and I would like to hear some people’s thoughts on this.

(Ps: kinda drunk rn)