So my bpd gf who had been living with me in what seemed like a good relationship for the for 3 years just told me 3 days ago that she cheated on me with her boss.

She just started this job 3 weeks ago, and apparently the cheating just started 1 week ago. And said they had sex only once one week ago and a second time the night before.

Prior to the cheating she didn’t have a job because she felt scared of being criticized by others, and I was having a money issue and kind of pushed her to get a part time job.

She ended up failing interviews and landed a weird job working at some guys house, and since she started that job I haven’t seen her except when she’d get back from work at night, so our contact has been minimal.

Also prior to her looking for a job she felt depressed and felt I wasn’t giving her enough attention, perhaps because I was really focused on my own job and I work from home.

It seems the guy who she is working for is encouraging her to stay overnight and she feels like she can’t say “no” and he is telling her to break up with her boyfriend and stay over his house.

This happened all so suddenly that I’ve been shocked.

She tells me that she still wants a relationship with me, but likes this other guy because she feels he understands her and that he is smart and rich, but she says she hasn’t decided if she wants a relationship with him yet, but doing this because she’s selfish and feels unsure about a future with me.

It seems like he is manipulating her, and sometimes he sleeps at his house and sometimes she comes back to my place. She has a ton of things at my place.

Anyway, she wants to learn DBT skills, because we recently discovered that she had BPD before this issue.

I has all these life plans with her before this happened. So I was wondering if there is anything I can do to get her back? Or is she lost to the other guy and should I give up and make new plans with my life?

She still wants a relationship with me and still loves mw she says, so should I stay in it, even though she’s cheating and try to get her back, or should I give up?

What should I do?