Please I’m begging, I need to be throughly convinced to block my ex before he texts me out of the blue and pulls me back in. It’s been a week since his last text

My favorite person is my ex. Let me just jot down what he’s done for reference and feel free to be very harsh I need it.

1 raped me in my sleep consistently to the point I stopped sleeping and eating and nearly died
2 forced me take pills I didn’t know what they were and left me with strangers
3 cheated on me the entire relationship
4 met a girl 8 months before he broke up with me and was seeing her using my car every day he had off I even paid for the gas because he said he was seeing his sister- yes I was very stupid I knew and kept having breakdowns until he came back and then my world was whole again 
5 called me the entire first two months of us being broken up to brag about his new gf 
6 cheated on his gf with me and gave me an std 
7 pointed a gun at my head more times than I can count

I can list all of these horrid things off and still think “no don’t block him he might need you” and I truly feel that way he calls me at least four times a day, he claims he’s suicidal and then talks about how perfect his gf is it’s been a year since we broke up. He’s in the process of moving in with her and that’s why he hasn’t called or texted he doesn’t want her to know he’s still talking to me.

I feel like he owns me like I’m his pet and I feel horrible like one day he’s going to ‘need’ me and I won’t be there. It’s obvious he doesn’t give a shit about me but I can’t ignore his calls I can’t ignore his texts please help me I’m trapped in a loop