I was with a girl for 7 years and for majority of the relationship things were good, she was older than me her 31 myself 27 currently.

I broke it off with her a week ago because she kept on doing blow, drinking all weekend, and wasting money and not coming home to me and blanking my calls, plus We were living with her parents who are quite religious and I am not. I had to work illegally for them to get enough money to return home and pay for our flights plus our dog which is on the other side of the world. 
I warned her several times that I would leave until last week I finally did, and I left the country and have been since staying with friends in the next country over. (2 hour flight) she kept my dog and the car which was half mine. 

I had my friends house to myself so I went to a bar, too nervous to talk to anyone I drank alone in a corner, later This evening I thought fuck this so I ordered an escort, she was ridiculously overpriced but I thought it would make me feel better,
It did not! This pushed me over the edge but I know it’s my own fault but the escort treated me like shit when I wanted to feel loved, she said to me “I don’t know why you booked me, any girl would be lucky to have you” which actually cut deep when it felt like she was trying to be genuine as soon as we were finished I felt a massive darkness come over me of pure guilt and disgust in myself now I’m laying here realising I’m at rock bottom which I felt was on the way anyway it’s been so long since I’ve been here.. if you know, you know, I guess