Hi,

So I was in an extremely emotional abusive relationship for a year and a half about 3 years ago. At the time, I was diagnosed with NOTHING, even after seeing a psychiatrist (I am currently diagnosed with BPD, depression, anxiety, and anorexia.) I spent every single moment taking care of him, making sure he was okay, making him happy, and I basically didn't have a thought/opinion of my own. Looking back on it now, I realize it was the worst year and a half of my life. My self-confidence slowly diminished, which is the reason I ended up staying for so long, and the only reason we broke up was because I had a friend with me who was so worried about me and convinced me that my feelings of loneliness and abuse were valid. Something to note: he was never diagnosed with anything, though I would assume he suffered depression &amp; anxiety, as well as a bad bad temper. Anyways, as soon as I got out of the relationship, I began to regain my sense of identity and therefore I slowly realized that my mood swings would be much more frequent and much stronger, thus eventually leading to my diagnosis. I was also losing weight like crazy and attempting suicide due to my low self esteem. 

I guess my question is; has anyone else had a similar experience? Can abuse actually make your BPD worse? It's been about a year and a half, almost two years since the last time we spoke, and while I don't think about him often, when I do think about him it hurts like fuck and I can't stop myself from crying and throwing up. Sorry if that's weird. 