I was just diagnosed with bipolar type 2 last summer ( 2021 ) . I started my medication ( Lamotrigine ) and went through a rough adaptation period with suicidal thoughts and so on . Now I feel a bit better . 

The only thing I struggle with still is rapid cycling , although I am not sure what to call it as. For exemple, I can be fine, sitting with a friend at a coffee, all is good . Then suddenly, it's like a cloud comes down and I feel bad . I can't even define the feeling, I just feel bad and depressed . Once I suddenly burat into tears for no reason but it was before starting meds. 

I am currently on a trip with a friend, and it happened again today during lunch. I started feeling bad and super depressed and had invasive thoughts like " I want to leave this place " " I don't like it here " " I miss my family " " I want to go back to the hotel " " I feel so depressed I want to cry " . Although, we just arrived a day ago, the town is interesting and I was actually in a good mood yesterday and today morning. It's also coupled with depersonalization where I feel disconnected from the world and all sounds go to the background and I don't feel me anymore . 

This really bothers me because I am trying to learn how to enjoy the moment and create memories for myself , and control my emotions. But I never can when this specific feeling hits me at random times . 

Does anybody goes through the same ? Please let me know and advice me !! I really am trying to get better ! 

Thanks a lot for your future help and support 😓