it’s like life is going so fast and i’m missing all of it by laying in bed awake at night and asleep during the day but i don’t care bc i don’t wanna live but i really wanna see the world and live but what’s the point life is just an illusion and everything is written out for us and no matter what happens the future isn’t up to us but then again i could die in the next 6 seconds and that’s nerve wracking but i wanna die don’t i bc fuck life and fuck this but then again i don’t wanna die bc i don’t know what’s after life and what if you feel everything when you’re dead and you don’t actually go anywhere or worse what if you do go somewhere and it feels like a bad dream what if life on earth is a bad dream and dying is actually the beginning but why can’t i just enjoy this silly world i know what this silly world is even though i know it’s all an illusion i like this illusion but i despise this illusion