I've been facing depression ever since the covid started, I lost my friends and my grandpa in the pandemic, from the last 10 days I'm having so many negative thoughts, and last night I was so depressed, that I held a knife and tried to cut near my wrist, but I was so scared and cut my thigh instead.

I have no friends to talk to about my problems.

I was so good at studies, but now  I'm just a dumb guy who fails in every subject.

I have stopped interacting with people due to anxiety.

I have asthma. When I have an asthma attack it is so hard to take a breath, I remember crying a whole night because of asthma.

My classmates caught me crying and made fun of me because I'm a boy and boys are not supposed to cry.

I have failed in many subjects, and next week a have exams if I don't score well in those exams college management is going to remove me, which is most likely to happen If they remove me I will have no hope in my life because I don't have any other talents like sports and singing.

I'm writing this alone in my room with tears in my eyes because this reminded me of how messed up my life is.

Sorry if my English is bad.