Our (28 F and M) relationship of 3 years is falling apart. 

Having sex started to become difficult when i was faced with some fysical issues. However, we did not need to be in this extreme of a dry spell. He didn’t want to do it cause he was afraid of hurting me. I would listen to the doctor when she advised not to have sex, but he even didn’t want to when we could.. this whole ordeal got worse and worse. I got really sad from the times he rejected me and stopt trying. He told me he has a lower libido in general and is also not in the mood because he isn’t feeling his best mentally.

I have never been so patient in not having sex. The longest i went without sex was 4 months before this, and that was Heavy. Now.. not having sex is my new life. I think can count on two hands how many times we have been intimate in the last Two Years! And mind you, sex is a crucial part of a relationship to me. I have put away a part of myself for the sake of this relationship. From time to time it would break me and i would cry because i felt so unwanted and unseen as a sexual being. I am at a point where i think it will take me a very long time to build the currage to have sex with someone again. It all really broke my sexual self..

He doesn’t see it like that at all. For him, sex is not a crucial part of a relationship and he says he thought our relationship was strong enough to stand on its own without fysical intimacy. He says i have confronted him too many times with this issue and that makes him less attracted to me. The perfect distancer persewer dynamic.

I can already hear him tell his new gf about me. How i would “push” him and “confront” him. Eventhough i have done so much work on communicating my emotions in a non accusatory way. Everytime i would just be very sad, i’d cry and tell him i was afraid the lack of intimacy would break us apart. And look at us now… 2 years of still having the same issues, and it did, and it broke me with it