I hate hurting him so much. I’m a terrible girlfriend but I don’t know how to change or stop. 

Every bad argument we’ve had is all my fault. All I do is get set off and make the relationship toxic. 

I’ve tried multiple times to break up with him and it was all for his own good. But he just couldn’t stay away. He kept coming back every single time. 

When I warned him about my condition, he said “I’m always going to wait for you.” and “I’m always going to be patient with you because I love you &amp; I know you don’t mean it.” He really keeps his word. 

I love him to bits, and we do have a lot of happy moments. But there is nothing I hate more than me being the cause of him crying himself to sleep at night. He doesn’t deserve it because all he’s ever been is supportive, caring, understanding, and patient.

If I were able to be cured of BPD, I’d finally be able to have a healthy relationship with the man of my dreams.