Hello everyone.


I am 17 F from Italy and not long ago I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and it seems that this issue was triggered by the traumas I had as a child and by all the constant abuses by my father.



I have always had relationships that were very dysfunctional and intense, due to my paranoia and constant fear that the person I love may abandon me even though that person was not showing me any signs that he wants to leave me, another problems are my intense anger that can sometimes also become physical and my mood swings.


In May of this year I met a guy who gave me strong emotions inside me and we decided to start a serious relationship.
 I was madly in love with him and he felt the same for me, he abandoned all of his female friends for me and have abandoned all my male friends for him.

For me he was like a real drug and when we argued I felt dying inside because I was afraid that he would abandon me, the thought that every fight could be the last drove me crazy and I tried to manipulate him to come back with me.

He has serious problems with jealousy, we have argued many times because of his unmotivated jealousy.

 Two days ago we have argued because he believed that I ended the call with him to talk to a guy, he started to insult me ​​and he said im a whore.

At this point I went crazy and started to be aggressive towards him as well, and he told me if I wanted to leave I could do it,  So I asked him if our relationship is over, he always keeps refusing to answer me and he ended the phone call and since that day he has not texted  me and I have not texted  him as well.


I'm too proud to text him... I'm going crazy because I'm afraid of losing him forever, I miss him so much and I would give everything to make him come back, unfortunately I can't see him because we are in a long-distance relationship. Any advice?