It’s been 2 1/2 years since my ex bf broke up with me and I still want to end everything bc of him. Dated for 1 year. He cheated however many times and lied. He sometimes talked down to me like I was stupid. I stayed because I still loved him and he made me happy when things were good. I was also going through a major life event (parent died) while I was with him. He made the loss easier to handle although he was still cheating on me. He dumped me and claimed it was bc of moving but I know part of the reason is bc I am depressed and apparently I wasn’t very good at hiding it. I know he’s been with like 100 different girls since he left and he’s still happy. I’ve been in a few mostly lackluster situationships that lead to nowhere. Also other things in my life (financially, academically) are currently going wrong. He’s successful in his career and does not have depression. 

Life really doesn’t seem worth living without him in it. He said he was gonna be in my city and we should have lunch/dinner but that was 6 months ago and he has not spoken to me since. I didn’t bother reaching out again bc he clearly doesn’t like me at all. 

The therapists I’ve seen are not helpful. Maybe they are good for other people but maybe my problems are too complex for them. Or my insurance can only afford subpar providers. Idk. I don’t really care if anyone thinks I’m stupid cause I think I’m stupid too. Just wanted to share