I have BPD and i have a lot of responsibilities. I have a job, school, etc. I find myself using my boyfriend as escapism. 
I constantly want to be with him.  I find myself neglecting my health and my goals because I am so focused on our relationship. He's told me that he needs more time alone for his hobbies. It triggers me ABANDONMENT when he says that because he used to want to spend every single minute with me. 
I need to get out of this mentality I just don't know how.
When I'm not in a relationship I focus completely on myself and I achieve so much. 
I also find myself eating like crap because I feel like I don't have to look good anymore.
I'm a mess.
