I'm just trying to take it day by day, but I still fell like shit constantly. I feel like I have no friends. &amp; all I want to do is get numb, whether it's cutting, sex, purging. I just constantly get stuck in a void  &amp; do nothing. I feel like I'm worth nothing. No matter how much I try to help myself, I just end up in the same spot. I keep trying to challenge myself, but it's useless. I just think it would be better if  I stopped trying, &amp; even maybe even disappeared ( whatever meaning I find in that word is).