I guess I'll jump right into it, and try to make it to the point. I'm diagnosed as Bi-polar 2 with Auditory Psychosis and Anxiety. I'm 35, and I always knew I had anxiety, but the rest came after I had my Daughter in 2019. I already had a 10 year old, I was recently married, it was a surprise and apparently the hormonal changes and postpartum brought it full on into the spotlight. TADA!

SO... I have been in therapy 1 year now exactly, and on Paxil along with Lamictal. 

I don't know who I am. What's worse, is that my Husband says I'm not the woman he married. In fact... 12 days ago he told me that he never signed up to be with someone who "wasn't right". It crushed me... 

Looking back, I don't know who I was when we met. Or who I am now. Our first date was on a whim, I was in pajamas, with no makeup and a bun, and I felt like a sexy beast 🤣🤦🏼‍♀️ I was Manic. Therapist says I probably lived life in various Manic stages that lasted months of years.... Now, I feel like... a shell of myself. I look in the mirror, and I wonder who the hell was that wild crazy girl I used to be!? Who is this incredibly boring Mom who has gained weight and literally buries herself in household chores because "busy hands busy the mind"!?

Does anyone else ever feel like they are staring into a circle of mirrors, but none of them feel genuine? Does anyone else feel like all your loved ones see is your diagnosis and your issues... rather than the strengths and good points you have always had? That... what used to be loved by them, now suddenly frustrates them? Quirks are now problems. Cute has turned to "can't you be normal?"

Thanks everyone.