   !!!!I am not familiar with Reddit at all this is my only post aside from a picture of my cat on another form!!!!! 

Also I apologize for the run on sentences and grammar errors! English wasn’t my best subject.




  I’m not asking for the steps in question my therapist has made them pretty clear to me. I’m just asking for help with coping going through a a really rough depressive cycle and taking the first steps. 
  Bipolar disorder has been the “boogieman” in my life (for lack of better terms) due to my extensive family history and childhood red flags on the matter. I was always terrified of having the diagnosis seeing as how it affected family members. 
  I recently got diagnosed but people are still hung up on former diagnoses that got thrown out a while ago. Or people just out right treat me like I’m entirely mentally healthy and I’m just overall a lazy person looking for an excuse due to my inability to hold down a job. I would love to work and I love working but I can only stay at one place for two months before becoming miserable or deciding I don’t need the place after all and quitting on the spot. This is the biggest problem people in my life have with my lifestyle they don’t really look at anything else.

  This is all beside the point. Basically I have been tasked by my therapist to call a center to start the long treacherous road of getting medicated but it’s been three weeks and I haven’t made the call. It’s been incredible hard bc I have found myself in the middle of a fairly bad depression cycle so motivation is nearly non existent. On top of that I have an incredible poor support system so I’m having to be a one person team on this to get it done besides being able to talk to my therapist once a week. It’s so incredible hard and exhausting just thinking about it I cry sometimes and I know there’s at least one other person out there who’s been where I am right now.   
 I feel so incredible lost and alone on this so badly I considered checking myself into a psych ward just to get some outside help with this task even though I’ve been admitted in my past and it felt like it never truly helped me. 

  I just want to get to where I’m healthy and not everything feels so foggy one way or another. It’s just so hard when you have to do it all by yourself.