I hate myself so much. Everytime I look in the mirror I despise the person looking back. I'm ugly, uninteresting, not talented in anything, not smart, never excelled, no skills, just another body taking up space in this world.   
Recently made plans to meet this girl for the nth time. Told her I liked her, she says she's not sure how she feels yet but wants to hang out more. But every time I set something up she has some excuse not to meet up. Not the first time this has happened. Every girl I've liked has always kept me around, even when I vocalize my feelings, they still just drag me along. Don't get it twisted, I'm not blaming them, I'm blaming myself. It's because I keep going for girls out of my league. It's because I keep going for girls who I let treat me like an after thought. I keep falling for girls who show interest in the beginning and then when we hang out they end up just stringing me along. I know why, it's because I'm a piece of shit. I'm a nothing. There's nothing great about me, no reason to be with me. I'm a trash human being and honestly don't deserve to be breathing the air of this world. My uncle killed himself. I don't think that's a bad idea.