I have BPD.

I get it, there's therapy but for me, personally, as a human and not a statistic or a problem to be fixed.....

Nothing will help. People understand depression and anxiety and PTSD. No one truly understands BPD, not even health professionals and not even people who have it. 

When you try to explain that you destroyed your own life for no reason...I mean, no one will ever have any sympathy or understanding. I don't even know how to fucking explain it right now.

I guess the only part I can really put into words is that happiness doesn't exist, people call it the hollow or the empty feeling. No matter where I go, what I do, or who I'm with, it will not fill me or make me happy.

I wish God were real so I could pound his fucking face in for bringing me into this hellscape of an existence.