"You internalize all of your pain and hurt and when you can't do it anymore, you put it towards others. But I know deep down you don't want to"

Why is my FP so fucking precious. Every time I tried to rebuttal and say how toxic I was, he denied it and would say I care too much about everyone and just can't handle pain when it gets too much. That I'd never want to explicitly hurt someone. 

I've never had anyone in my life straight out say they were devoted to me like this. He showed it in the past too. When I went crazy bitch to push him away because I hated myself and knew I'd keep hurting him. He didn't leave. I honestly don't understand how someone can handle me.

It gives me so many emotions. I feel like I'm not worthy of him but it also makes me so damn happy and validated. Like when he said all of that to me while hugging me while I cried my fucking heart out, I don't know. I just have never felt so secure and cared for by anyone, my friends, my family. No one else.

I don't know why I'm posting this. It's just... So unbelievable... To feel that despite my [huge] flaws, I'm still worth something? It's so confusing..