I’ve gotten to the point where i no longer care. I’ve been used, disregarded, ignored, and just plain tired of being tired of being tired. Everyone tells me keep going, keep trying, try this and try that. I just can’t handle it anymore. I truly just want to harm my body with drugs and other unhealthy shit because at this point, i dont have the strength to end things. I can’t kill myself because I refuse to leave my dog without an owner. I am alone, need weed to get thru the day, and have lost all interest and motivation to put any effort into anything. All relationships in my life end for reasons i can’t change or try to fix but cant. i dont think i can handle so much emotional distress again. The villians most of the time die at the end of the movie, and I feel like I am fully committed to just being the villian and will only care about myself until that point gets to me. I dont see any other way, I’ve been dealing with this sickness my whole life and i dont know if i care to treat it anymore.