A few years ago I was probably at my worst. I came really close to actual suicide. 

Today, I still stand, but as an empty shell of a person. I walk down the streets feeling helplessly... detached from everything. All the smiles, all the conversations. Nothing seems REAL anymore. Like, I'm just a shadow of a person who could've and should've disappeared long ago. It feels odd to say this, but I miss the intense pain and sorrow I had felt a few years ago, as opposed to the emptiness I'm left with today. 

I still wake up everyday. I continue to walk. Like a ghost circling the edge of the void.