I had a best friend for 7 years who also has BPD but we haven’t been friends for over a year bc of some issues and also she does heroin now. We did everything together and talked on the phone everyday. I was anti social for an entire year (even a couple months before covid). I’ve been going on tinder date after tinder date to try to find a new FP because I’m bad at making friends. 

I finally started dating someone last month and he texted me everyday non stop. At first I was giving space but he would double text and so after a couple weeks it just felt like we were totally up each others ass but I liked it and It felt nice. Well some shit went down and we’re “taking a break”. It triggering my abandonment issues and I got the most depressed I’ve been since ducking December. I skipped work 3 days in a row just because of it. 

I went to some bars on the day it happened and made a fool of myself and was telling everyone my problems. I have a lot of online acquaintances but I’m close to NO ONE AT ALL. I try to make friends and they always end up bailing on me so it makes me lose confidence to ask people to hang again. I just feel like I’m fucking crazy. I have control of most of my BPD symptoms but this breakup has me feeling fucked up. I really just wish I had friends/friend group. Someone to vent to BUT I DONT. I don’t know how I ended up being 24 fucking years old with no one