Hello,

I've been struggling on and off with panic and excessive worrying about stuff.  
However, those panic attacks and the worrying/overthinking is very localized to a certain topic and does not really affect my life/motivation/ability to do stuff in other areas than the one I worry about.

Also, the topic seems to change every few months to years. I used to have problems with testing anxiety a few years back and therefore almost failed my degree. I got through that with a group therapy at the time and it stopped being a problem and I've been able to effectively calm myself down and have a decent grade average now.

However, then it popped back up with a different topic to worry about and I'm back at square one. This time it was driving, and it took me about three years to force myself back into driving and now I do it on a routine basis and manage to stay calm as long as nothing weird/unexpected happens. I still check the police reports regularly after driving new routes or in heavy traffic or bad wheather but I think that belongs to my new topic of worrying:

For the last two years, the main worry was about accidentally breaking the law. This one is harder to ignore because basically everything people do is in some way governed by tons of laws.

I tried to work on my tax declaration earlier and basically instantly got a panic attack because I did not know how to fill a part of the form correctly and worried about accidentally committing tax crimes.

Now it's 4 in the morning and my stress levels are almost back down to regular level. I was planning to be in bed by 12 and I've lost quite a few days of sleep over the last year because of panic attacks.

Panic causes very strong bodily reactions in me and additional to the panic attack symptoms I do have chronic digestive problems which can not really be explained by doctors. I did notice that they get worse when my stress level is high in general and when I start to panic I immediately feel sick and get cramps/pains in the stomach.  


However, I do lead quite an active life and I'm happy with it and enjoy it, and I'm usually a very happy person and in a good mood whenever I'm not panicking. I'm socially and politically active and I regularly get into situations where I have to do new stuff and meet new people, speak in public or be relied on by other people and I enjoy that a lot and never get stressed about those 'regular' things.

If I distract myself by doing work or hobby stuff or being with friends or even just being on the internet I'm able to completely ignore the topic that causes me anxiety. Only when I actively try to tackle that topic or when my brain is idle do I worry, and then I can't stop myself from worrying and panicking through my own willpower. It's especially bad when I lay in bed and therefore I slept on the couch most days in the last 6 months, being on the internet and doing or watching stuff until I fall asleep from exhaustion so that I do not lay in bed with an idle brain. While that helps with avoiding panick attacks, it  has made me very tired and the quality of my sleep declined.   


I do feel that I'm at a point where I can no longer ignore this problem and need to work on acitvely combating it.  
But when I research anxiety and read other people's expierences her in this subreddit or elsewhere on the web, it does not really match up. It's weird that the problem only turns up when I am idle rather then when I do lots of stuff and are busy and have a 'stressful' day... It feels like I'm constantly running away from my own brain.

Does anyone here havve similar experiences, or knows what term I have to research to find information that fits my problem more closely? I'd be glad to read your input on this topic.  
I have requested an apointment with a psychologist but due to the events of the last two years waiting lists are especially full and it can take months to get an appointment, so I want to start researching and battling this problem on my own in the meantime.  


Greetings