Anxiety attacks and Depression worst combo ever. 
I was suffering with these for 3 years.. It wouldn’t let me sleep, I would smile in front of everyone but it would just make it heavier for me afterwards. I was afraid to open up because of one person whom I trusted my thoughts with.. One night I heard her saying 
“ Why is she like that? That’s very easy to handle. She can just ignore it. “ It shattered me to pieces, I don’t know what I would feel.. It would be easy for other people to just speak these lines without wearing or standing in your shoes. For so long I was afraid to be me to express myself. I would just stare at my ceiling at night and sometimes wait until it’s morning where I can hear tiny chatter outside my door, footsteps of my siblings running around the hall and somehow that helps me sleep.. Feeling that you are not alone when you fall asleep. Yes, I know I could just reach out for someone but I’m scared. I was so scared to talk to other people or let someone in through my emotions. After a very long time I was always hesitant, until I encountered the use of cbd. It was just a normal evening for me and saw a post about a boy overcoming his anxiety with the help of cbd, curious I ordered some and tried it.. The joy of relaxation was the greatest thing that I’ve felt that night.. From time to time I can see that I was interested in the feeling that it gives me, searched for more things to help my thoughts calm.. I ordered a humidifier and lavender chamomile scent for sleeping and relaxation at night and used cbd an hour before going to sleep and drink some tea. Now I finally sleep 7-8hrs a day and everytime I wake up I go out and smile at my dad and my siblings and at least say good morning.  For 3 long years I can finally take control of my emotions, I do still have panic attacks but they are not much worse than before. 

I am forever thankful for these small steps that I achieved. I am proud of myself.