(Please don't recommend medication or therapy, I don't have access to any money or car and I don't have any family or friends that could provide me with either.)


I've been constantly dissociating for the past few weeks and I don't know how to get out of it. Even when I thrust myself into a ice-chilled bath, even when I bump into walls hard enough to cause bruises, even when I talk to someone I thought I cared about but not really sure anymore -- I feel nothing at all. I cried yesterday for the first time in months and I don't know why I did... I didn't feel anything and my mind was too foggy to think coherently. I'm able to eat, sleep, swim, and study but my own mental health and relationships don't even feel like they belong to me anymore. I don't think I've had a genuine thought in such a long time, it feels like someone elses' thoughts and words were carefully picked out for me to say. It's been constant for so long and I think I want it to stop, if it isn't painful. If you have any tips or advice or anything on how to stop this, please feel free to share them.


(also: Sorry if this doesn't make sense, I can't even remember typing any of this after reading it over right away... I'm not on any medication or drugs and I'm basically physically healthy, so that isn't an influence on my feelings.)