I actually haven't had a FP in a long time - I've kept myself pretty isolated and keep everyone at arm's length. But I made a friend who has taken that role in my life now. 

I've been feeling bad because this person is ignoring me right now (no idea why, so I'm left to wonder what I did wrong), and I feel alone and like no one cares about me. Meanwhile, both my grandmas have been calling me "just to talk", telling me they miss me and asking why I don't come over. My parents are both trying to get me to come to see them more. My brother has also been trying to spend time with me but because I feel crappy, I just keep saying no. To be fair, my family relationships aren't the healthiest either. But I keep hoping she will text me and want to hang out, so I put off plans with other people. I know it's not healthy. 

It makes me feel really ungrateful for the people in my life that do care about me. And I don't get why my brain is being like this...but there's just so much anxiety around this for me, that it tires me out. I don't feel able to do much else emotionally. I kind of feel like this may be a sign that I have to use the "Opposite Action" skill...if I feel like withdrawing from everyone except my FP, maybe it's a sign that I should reach out. 

It just sucks and the guilt on top of all this really hurts.