Hey guys. Long time lurker, first time poster. Diagnosed BPD in '05, with co-occurring AvPD and schizoid traits (hell of a cocktail, huh? lol)

I feel like the vast majority of my problems in life come about when I have "too much free time" on my hands. Then I start to remember things that happened 2, 12, or 19 years ago and feel the exact same sadness, rage, etc. that I felt the moment those events happened. This usually leads me into a downward spiral that gets me in trouble--either via antisocial behavior, thoughts of suicide, self-harm, or just general self-loathing (which I think, after several weeks, has triggered severe depression in me).

I just realized, this could almost entirely be avoided if there was an apartment complex that looked like any other on the outside, but inside housed only a few hundred "high functioning" personality disordered people. No "normies" allowed. Everyone on staff--the doormen, janitors, etc. would have some basic training or work experience in mental health and there would be at least one "live in" (or, at least, always on shift) psychiatrist and/or psychologist per 25 patients living there as well. The place would be "locked down" after work hours, except for special occasions/emergencies, twice-weekly shopping, and would forbid drugs, alcohol, or weapons. Routing contraband checks would be performed. Everyone living there would know these were the terms before they moved in. Other than that, it would be a place like any other: TV, internet, social spaces, etc.

I have a relative who has lived in a place like that for the past 17 years, but the people there have serious mental health issues, appear low-functioning, and I doubt any of them work.

I just wish there was some kind of 'permanent' halfway house option for people with PDs. Such a place might do me some good; I might even thrive there. (In a related anecdote, I've heard people with BPD can do very well in a rigid *military* setting, which this almost sounds like. Too bad I'm ineligible to join)