I have diagnosed mental illnesses to the point of severity that I am disabled. I normally see my psychotherapist three days a week but due to the virus his office has been closed for a week. He is old so I completely understand him wanting to limit his exposure however the secure video session service was not put in place before the closure and may not be functional for the rest of this week.
 If anyone uses these services please tell me what it is like. I have paranoia and have a very hard time dealing with change to my routine. I've been having horrible general anxiety, growing panic attacks, I cry uncontrollably for no reason for more of the day than not, and I am having a difficult time dealing with my aggressive thoughts. I am very good at hiding these things normally from my boyfriend and family but not for the past maybe five or six days it's been constant and I feel horrible letting my problems effect my relationships with the few people I can be around. Hurting them makes me feel even worse and sends me into a dark painful spiral and no one in my life really understands (as supportive as they are it doesn't mean they understand or have an easy time accepting the way I think it real to me). I want help from my Dr but I am ambivalent of the video service even though he is working to make sure it is secure and fallows privacy guidelines. My paranoia is going crazy at the thought of talking openly over the internet via video while a virus (that COULD have been purposefully cause for a variety of reasons) has our country in quarantine for the most part. I would like to get help do I stop screaming at people, have the ability to be appreciative instead of having panic attacks, and not have my boyfriend wake me up bc he sees me making horrible noises and crying in my sleep but I have questions about the services and how I'm supposed to act when I'm on the call. I don't want it to be a situation like when I get upset I don't take my meds and it gets worse. I know I will just not do this if I'm not comfortable and I need help.