CW: mentions of SA 

I recently got diagnosed with BPD. For background, Im 15F and my bpd (apparently) stems from childhood and also a pretty serious SA case 2 years ago. Obviously, Im glad I finally have some clarification on why I constantly feel out of control of myself, why I never feel fully present, like I am only watching my body interact with the world. However, the permanence of BPD is terrifying. Like, this is quite literally a direct confirmation I am "crazy". No matter how much I try, how hard I work at it, I am always going to have to work a little bit, or a lot harder in order to just function. That is not even the worst part though. The thing is, I didn't even do anything to deserve any of that, right? I had no control over either of those causes nor my genetics. I guess my question is, how do I cope with that? How do I come to terms with having a damaged brain?