Things haven't been going well for a long time, but I was adept at hiding that fact from myself and everyone around me. That's no longer the case.  
  
When it got especially bad a couple years back, I finally gathered the strength to seek the professional help I thought would make the difference. I went through nearly a dozen different medications while also having weekly therapy sessions. I found neither to be helpful, but I stuck with it.  
  
I was in my final semester of college when something happened. I simply couldn't do the work anymore. It was a long journey to get to those weeks just before graduation, and I just crumbled. I withdrew from the university. I stopped taking my medication and soon after lost my insurance anyway so I had to stop therapy as well.  
  
The false hope that allowed me to keep marching on through the darkness is no longer enough. I was never going to make it in the first place.  
  
I'm incompatible with this world. I think I'd like to stop trying now. Good luck to you all.