My CBT sessions ended at the start of March as the Psychologist felt 'he had done everything he could'. 
At that time I was kind of Manic and agreed with him because 'Life is great and I feel better than I ever have'.

Skip forward to now I've bounced between feeling great and crying at the littlest things a few times in the past 3 months. At this very moment, I'm at the 'What is the point of Living' stage. 

Anyway, I watched season 4 of 13 Reasons Why on Friday and what I took a way from it was a jealousy of the relationship of Clay Jensen with his therapist, because the character was getting help and getting his life back.

I WANT THAT. I know it's not rational for me to be angry. I agreed with my psychologist that we weren't getting any further, but still I feel like he should of tried harder to get me to continue CBT.

I'm writing this in a moment of clarity where I can see that, Looking back stopping possibly wasn't the right thing for me, but I only seem to seek help when I am depressed. When I am in a good mood, I get so sure that everything will be ok and that I am going to do great things with my life.