I keep running into my father at family events and they don’t tell me he will be there. When I was growing up and the first few years of adulthood, he would always blame me for everything wrong with our relationship.

He would scream and cuss at my brothers and I like he was going to hit us for small things like leaving the lights on. He whooped my brother over it one time. And my brother would show me his bruises from getting hit over the years.

He ran away multiple times and as soon as he was 18 he told my father he wish he dropped dead and cussed him out publicly on the family social media. His youngest son also left him.

I panic and can’t respond with what I want to say when I see him. I just want to cry and someone to get him away from me, but family says that’s my father and I have to treat him with respect. I told my father he caused me trauma and he told me that’s my fault. Everything is always my fault.

I just stand there and try not to cry. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do?