My paranoia keeps getting worse, I keep trying to get help and nobody will help me, I don't know how to tell people that I'm fighting back my mania really hard and I don't know how long I can do it for, I want to do things I know are not responsible and are reckless, I feel like it will make me feel better like It won't be bad but I know it will be bad, being manic and self aware is extremely difficult for me and I have nobody except my partner to go to, I don't trust people in authority, I spoke to them when manic a couple of months ago and they refuse to help me and I think they're out to get me, I don't know how to tell anyone that I'm gonna lose control soon