I hate to "self diagnose" but every mental health quiz if ever taken (I believe I've taken all of them) since I was 12 says I have a very high possibility of having borderline personality disorder. 

In my current state over the past 2 weeks I believe I fit the criteria for hospitalization but I'm very skeptical due to the fact that me and my girlfriend are pretty close and in the past 4 years we've only spent one night apart from each other since we live together, so my issue is I think being sent away for 10-30days could do much more damage then good on my current mental state but going without treatment is going to most definitely lead to suicide in the next 2 years so is there anyone who has advice on how I can straighten myself out? 

Also for reference I've discussed my mental health issues with my primary care physician and over the past 5 years we've tried 
Prozac
Lexapro 
Bupropian 
But they've all made me feel much much worse then before so my doctor told me I have negative reactions to antipsychotics so she prescribed me klonopin after having some  pretty nasty episodes but now I've gained a dependence on it due to the fact it's the only medication that makes me hear the birds chirp again and feel the breeze on my skin vs plotting my last days in a mood that I could only describe as dark grey. 

So where do I go from here? Is there anyway to treat my BPD without hospitalization or counselling? Has anyone else managed there BPD on there own? 

Any advice will be appreciated much more then you'd think 

