Hey, ya'll.

I am hoping others can relate to this and offer some guidance. I have been working in my career for 3 years. I have a B.A and as of this year, an M.Ed in my field. It is my passion and a job I love (I work in education). But, it is so incredibly hard. I have worked my butt off in college and then in grad school and that was so hard to balance with BPD, but I did it. Now that I have had my career for 3 years, I am so emotionally exhausted. I switched workplaces last year in hopes a new setting but with the same career would help, I also started DBT and trauma therapy. I am doing MUCH better now. But I still am so emotionally worn out. I come home and go to bed basically right after work, not from physical exhaustion but emotional. I am always "on" throughout the day and masking constantly, and it is so hard to manage. On top of that, working with kids can be hard just because I see stuff happen to them that happened to me, and sometimes it hits a very deep nerve and then I have to process that- it is just constant secondary trauma. Even after switching to a less intense setting, this is something I will always run into working with kids. 

I don't know if this means the career that I love and am passionate about is simply just too much for me with my struggles. I want it to be right for me, and no one at work would ever suspect I have these struggles, so I seem like I manage it well. On the inside, I just am a mess. So I guess my question is, do others relate? And if so, does this mean I just keep trying and hope it gets better? Or do I accept with BPD, a very emotional job just might not be the right fit for me? I feel very lost on what to do as I progress in my career.