So I have been having massive panic attacks or anxiety attacks for many days recently. All I wanted was to try to keep calm myself. I am calm outside . I am just trying not to do the things that trigger those attacks. 
I've posted two times last two days about my anxieties on this sub. 
But today, my father slapped me because I was calm outside. 

Wow. 
Wow. 
I know I have been schizophrenic for a years . Recently it triggers a lot. 
I am trying to be calm. To be calm, to be fucking calm myself . I am afraid of my next episode.