I feel so much guilt, so much pain, so much regret. I'm on the verge of tears all the time, my stomach hurts and I constantly feel like I'm about to vomit. 

I wake up upwards of 8 times per night, this is horrible as not sleeping enough can make me have a seizure. 

Every day I see myself becoming more tired, sometimes I don't even have the energy to get out of bed to pee. 

Knowing myself too well, I'm likely gonna make my life even worse by virtue of terrible decisions. It's like, I know that the outcome is going to be bad but I do it anyways