Throwaway so I can express my full thoughts.. 


So basically, as the title says, I am facing EXTREME levels of stress and anxiety daily. Constantly ruminating the same thoughts ALL DAY LONG every single day and I am starting to get worn out. I just can’t kick the feeling that my life is going to get screwed over and fucked at some point in the future and I am going to be a failure. 


For context, I am in Uni and have 2 semesters left until I finish my degree. I have a very good GPA, great resume and job prospects lined up, and doing all good in all other aspects. For some reason, over the past month I have developed extreme levels of anxiety thinking I’m going to get fucked.


I won’t go into extreme detail but essentially, I used to say stupid racist things with my friends online when I was like 15 years old because we thought it was funny, and sometimes we would screenshot them as a joke. Now, before you shit on me in the comments, I know what I said is disgusting, racist and horrible, not a joke whatsoever and not a part of me or my life anymore. I was a stupid 15 year old who didn’t know any better and I deeply regret it all. 


So basically, I keep thinking one of those screenshots is going to get out for some reason to my job. I know my friends would never send them to anyone, and nobody else has anything on me. I keep feeling for some reason, my uni is going to magically get one of those screenshots in their email and my life is royally fucked because of the stupid shit I said as a kid.


I cannot get this out of my head and I constantly ruminate and think about it literally all day long every single day. I can’t eat, sleep, workout, or function properly due to this constant feeling of impending doom.


Please don’t judgment me. I seriously need help because I have been having very dark dark thoughts and feel like I should just end it all now before my life gets fucked over eventually. How can I clear my head, please help me, I know deep down that the odds of this happening are so slim, and I have been fine in uni for the past 2 years anyways. Please help me, I feel sick to my stomach daily and especially nowadays with cancel culture and all this stuff going on. I wish I could go back and never think such stupid stuff was funny, please help me.