Currently 27, living at home with my parents, feeling like a fucking loser. I've been looking for rooms/roommates for the past 6 months and nothing has worked. I finally found an apartment for rent, it was perfect for me, then it got rented to someone else. I felt like ending it all right there.

I'm miserable at my job. The job I really wanted hasn't responded to me in a month. I have friends, a supportive family, who want me to stay home with them to save money but idk, I still feel like a loser. Living with my parents at this old? I feel like a failure. I just make everyone laugh to hide what I'm feeling. I'm the comic relief in other people's stories.

I'm single, despite everyone of my friends saying "oh, there's someone out there that's perfect for you. You're smart, funny, blah, blah, blah".

My mom keeps saying everything happens for a reason. Maybe my ending my life is what's supposed to happen? I keep saying this "joke" that my 30th birthday is going to be me alone with a single cupcake with a candle in it, and a revolver. Every day, it seems to be closer to reality.

I just feel like there's no hope anymore. Like, at all.