Psychosis seems to be flaring up. I sometimes hear music or sounds in the background that don’t have a source. All day I’ve been blanking out and I can’t seem to get anything done. It’d be nice to have a life again. I want to visit relatives, attend support groups, and just not have to deal with symptoms. I don’t really know how my mundane life could have much impact on reality but somehow I have this belief that it does. Today I got nothing done. If it doesn’t get better, I might have to try clozapine. I remember how life seemed to broaden in 2016 when I started believing in Hell and that there were bad people behind it. My second night back on Olanzapine and I still have symptoms so maybe I might have to switch to something else but there’s nothing left besides clozapine. I don’t really know why friends and family seem angry with me but it probably is better to focus on myself because I’ve got enough on my plate. I want to do the right thing and really don’t know what’s going on. Second night Olanzapine has lost partial effectiveness and I really hope something good will come of all this. My bff hasn’t talked to me since last week and it might be for the best since I’m easily agitated now.