Why should I even bother if I'm on medication and in therapy and have the most supportive group of friends I've had in my life. I don't understand what the point of me living the rest of my life if this is supposed to be the best case scenario. I let my friends know when I'm feeling empty or overwhelmed and they try their best to help but it feels like nothing works. I sit there and try to feel things and try my best to be happy and hope that something will finally make me feel better and whole but. It's always the same. And I hate to keep tellling them whenever I'm feeling anything but "happy" because at some point it's going to be too much. They're going to think their efforts are in vain or that I'm not trying enough. I'm always a lifeless sack or a panicking bumbling mess. What's the point of any of this if I'm always going to be miserable. My entire life feels like a complete waste. Like it would've been better off had I never even existed. 