I really want to give up, I’ve been fighting for years, but I just don’t think I can do it anymore. I’ve been crying my eyes out for months. I made a foolproof suicide plan but I didn’t carry it out because I was and still am afraid of death. I don’t feel anything anymore though, it’s so hard to keep pushing and going when you have nothing to do that for. I realized that I’m completely alone, and that even my family isn’t there for me. If you don’t have unconditional love from the one place you’re supposed to receive it, how are you ever to be loved? How are you ever going to love yourself? Why wouldn’t you believe you’re worthless, meaningless, and hopeless if no one ever checks on you and supports you, and that’s the way it’s been forever?