I feel trapped. I'm at work making good money at a desk but there's a fair bit of down time. I'm placid and polite on the outside but on the inside there's a black hole sucking away anything positive and physically not allowing me to relax and enjoy things. I get so tense my neck and throat feel numb and I feel like I'm barely breathing. What's also rather unsettling is I know when the work day ends, It'll follow me home. It didn't use to, or at least there was some reprieve and I may even do something like see a friend, play a video game, listen to music or even go to the gym. Now, I just wanna lay down. It's like laying down feels like the only thing that keeps me remotely calm. I hate that I have to type this out, I wasn't like this a year ago.