It feels like I have a nice house I've put so much effort in building where I invite people in. My guest and I will then have a nice chat. I'll serve them the best food and drink I could get and we'll get along really well. After a while I'd excuse myself to go to the bathroom, only to actually go to my room and work on a plan on how to scare this person away. I'll turn the house into the scariest ghost house, and when they're scared enough to head for the door, I'll convince them that it's going to be fine. Something like, "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but don't worry--I've shooed the ghosts away!" Some stay, but some don't. Either way I'll feel bad about both outcomes. Then the cycle repeats--it may be with the same person or a different one. 

In my case though, by the end of the day all of them had enough of me and left for good.

Every day I wake up and wonder how many relationships--be it romantic or friendships--that I've destroyed... how beautiful it must be if they all worked out. It makes me believe that I probably have to shut myself from people altogether so that I don't have anyone to invite in and I'll never have to go through the cycle again.