For 4 years now, every period of my life can be divided, characterized or defined by that one individual who was then 'my person'. I get attached to one person who provides me nourishment for my soul and no one else matters. 

My ex took the blunt of this and for the longest time. I told myself I was such a good partner, but I wasn't. My ex never felt he could make friends, as I would question it or get upset. Even his suggestion that I make other friends made me upset. At one point, he got angry at something I did and started crying. Not because of what I did, but because he felt relieved -- *I* was always the one angry with *him*. For once he wasn't the object of my frustration. 

Like a monkey hopping from one branch to another, I found another person to cling to in my times of loneliness. Then another, and then another. I've been close friends with this person for 6 months now and I find myself doing so much that a healthy individual would not do. I never reach out first, and I ignore her for days so that I can ruminate in her mind. I don't do this in severe ways, perhaps it's subtle enough that she barely notices. I withdraw my affection sometimes if I don't like how things are going. Everyone gets moody sometimes though so I guess she blames it on that. In this friendship it's mostly the logic I repeat to myself. I constantly wonder if I am also her person, as if I cannot be happy in this sort of friendship unless I am also the other's favorite person. I find myself getting sad when she makes a new friend, even wishing that maybe I could have done something to go back to the day she made that friend -- to prevent it. This is long and all over the place but I just really need to get a healthier idea of relationships.