I just need to rant about *one of those days*.

I woke up, but never felt awake and never felt like I was quite part of the day. 

I had a dream I couldn't remember but left be feeling blood numbingly sad, the kind of sadness when all your organs want to cry.

I broke a laptop and felt the gut twisting scream in my head of "YOU'RE AN INCOMPETENT IDIOT". An incident which money can fix, but can't make me un-feel of undo what I did.

I did lots of heavy lifting and moving of bags and boxes but still felt useless.

I successfully navigated a car journey but feel disconcertingly lost anyways.

Then I got up form reading a book to pack the dishwasher, and as I was scraping some food into the bin, I found it smelled terrible. I have a keen sense of smell, and it was horrible. I felt furious in a flash and wanted to scream. I then decided to leave the room to be alone for a while, and then felt immediately sad. And I'm still flipping between this angry/sad state. I feel like I just need the excuse to freak out...

And I'm so so tired.

Rant over.