Plea for help

i just want an idea of myself

when talking to people i just talk about things i heard from other people and so on

when doing things or wanting things i just base them on what others have or are seem to be enjoying

now ofcourse people learn new things by seeing someone or somewhere, its difficult to be that original but they have an idea of wether or not they are enjoying it

i just cant seem to do that

there is no such thing which i can say is i do or i enjoy

and after this covid isolation, even interacting with my friends seems like a foreign thing

i wish to develop my own perspective &amp; personality and be confident but i have no idea how to go about it


One thing I know for sure is I'm an overthinking person
Every morning I decide to "find myself" and get over whelmed by all the things others are doing and spiral into why i dont have a life as full as them and have a break down

I think several times of taking my life thinking I can never have my own existence but i dont want to die

Please help me