Don’t you sometimes get so frustrated at how much power we give to our physicians and loved ones over what makes us feel better. Honestly I have only ever needed anti anxieties to function. I don’t disagree with my bipolar diagnosis but every med that I have ever taken (reluctantly in the past few years) has only ever made me worse and like I am not really trying. 2 almost killed me, I had to have MRI scans after falling repeatedly from one drug, last fall rendered me unconscious the whole day on my kitchen floor. I had Lamictal rash. I have big scar on my chin and a smaller one on my forehead after blackouts from other antidepressants.

Still I try, cause I don’t want to let anyone down and I don’t know how to stand my ground. My last resort now is to write letters to both my GP and Psychiatrist to ask for the 3 types of meds that work, which according to the past I’ve only needed a few days in a month. A good sleeping pill, anti anxiety, i was given some med to help me concentrate (5), I worked like magic. For me, one good night of sleep can carry me for a week. 1 anti anxiety before a big meeting, I’m done.

just these 3 small things make me functional. There is no need to preteNd I am normal, it’s been over 10 years. But I am also not a guinea pig, I don’t need daily meds. I can see why I present as bipolar, if I go long periods without sleep, everything makes me panic, then I can’t get anything done.   
Sorry for the rant. Just wondering if anyone else also feels like they need more say on their treatment. I read, I try to be mindful and pray, go for walks. I just enjoy those thins when I am in NOT over tired or drugged like a Zombie.