I(26f) was talking to a guy(27m) and opened up to him about my struggles. I was open with him about my insecurities in the hopes that he could get to know me and understand what was going on with me. Well I found out that he had been talking to many other women and "picked" someone else for a relationship. He said he couldn't pick me because I didn't even love myself and therefore how could he love me?

I told him that I show my love for myself differently than others do. I do it by forcing myself to eat even when it makes me sick or makes me want to cry. By waking up and taking my meds every day even when I think it's hopeless. By going to the gym and doing yoga even when I barely have the energy to leave my bed. By reaching out to friends and family when isolation and self harm sounds like a much better option. I love myself by choosing a career that gives my life meaning. I love myself every time I clean my apartment, scoop the litter box, or complete a chore. And I love myself by having compassion for when I cannot do any of these things.

I love myself in ways he doesn't consider to be love because for him loving himself is easy. And if he thinks I'm hard to love for those reasons, he doesn't really understand the love I needed anyway.