I live in Germany and I'm scared that a world war 3 will emerge because of the current conflicts in europe. I believe humanity will not survive world war 3. But that's beside the point, I just don't feel well mentally at all. I push through and try my best every day and I have made so many improvements, even with having paranoid schizophrenia it is currently possible for me to live a normal life. But then reality hits again like the current pandemic and as I said, war. I just pray the situation will get better and people all over the world realize at some point that weapons do not solve conflicts, they make them worse. Today someone asked me if I would wear a gun to defend myself. I honestly can't answer that question. Knowing myself, I would probably die because I space out when a situation gets too much for me to handle. Even just the thought of it is so horrifying I don't want to think about it more..

I am often alone and it makes me sad. Talking with other people where I am currently staying at makes my day, even if just for a little. Sometimes I wish I could help others more but I don't know how and I mess up a lot. I guess I need more help myself. Sometimes I wish there would be someone magically appearing out of somewhere and saving me from my misery, but I guess that's not gonna happen. Anyway, I hope everyone else has a nice weekend. And I pray that as many people as possible can be saved from war.