I posted in this community about a week ago on a different account of which I forgot the password to. So hence, this is my new one.
 I'm a 16 year old female. I've been struggling with this since I was 12, although every psychiatrist I ever saw throughout that 4 year period thought that I had borderline personality disorder, but would never officially write it in my file because I was young and they were hoping that I would grow out of the traits, but instead as time went on they became more prominent. I was officially diagnosed at 15. I meet every set criteria, and on a test they made me do at an inpatient stay, they said that the mark that determines the highest severity is 32, and although they wouldn't tell my my exact mark because 'I'm a minor' and blah blah, they told me I scored over a 50. I can't get through a week without attempting suicide at least 3 times, it's been this way since I was 13 and it frustrates me because I just can't seem to kill myself and it makes me feel so dumb. The hospital staff in my area are tired of seeing me and hearing from me. When I walk into the emergency room I can see them roll their eyes and throw their heads back in the nurses quarter. If I'm not in for attempting suicide I'm getting stitches for self inflicted wounds. I'm so manipulative. It's no good at all to put me in any sort of treatment because I manipulate my way out of it to the point that therapists and doctors don't even understand why I was referred in the first place, and it's no good for anybody to tell me to stop manipulating my way out because it happens even when I don't realize it. Last time I was in the mental hospital, I manipulated them so I could go home and attempt suicide again. They won't take me back anymore because I've been there several times and they cannot handle me. Therapists tell me that they can't deal with my problems, I had one blame me for her anxiety issues. There's no hope. I have my licence but do not have my own car, so at 3 am every now and again I steal my mothers car and drive dangerously. I have no friends because I dropped out of school and they all found people they like better, less fucked up people. And even the ones who stayed after I dropped out of school left because they hated listening to my problems constantly. I have nobody. My mom is still in denial despite a diagnosis from several doctors that I have borderline because she doesn't want to admit that she and my father fucked up a lot raising me. My father was sexually abused as a child thus leading him to have it, widening the chances hereditarily, and then he emotionally abused and neglected me my whole life. It's not going to get better. Someday I'm going to be dead at my own hands and nobody will help me anymore. Edit: I forgot to add that I also have Aspergers Syndrome so this may contribute to why things that work for other people don't work for me.
