Hi all, this is my first post here. I really hope it doesn't come off as judgey in any way, I have tried to be as objective as I can but am just very tense and frustrated at the situation.

My (25F) sister (23F) was diagnosed with BPD a couple of years ago but has been exhibiting symptoms since she was about 13. Both of us are currently living with our parents (59M and 53F) - me because I got a job in the area and my sister because she could not cope when she lived on her own. However I am planning to change job and move out asap because I suffer from anxiety and can't deal with the constant yelling.

My sister can be very difficult to live with. I will provide a few examples of things she often does that cause problems in our house:

\- does not clean up after herself and gets very angry when you ask her to do it  
\- disturbs others' sleep by cooking/having loud phone conversations/dropping objects/switching lights on in the middle of the night  
\- overspends and ends up in debt  
\- abuses alcohol  
\- is verbally and occasionally physically abusive  
\- does not always take her medication  
\- takes and/or damages others' property

These are just a few examples and are not the whole picture as it has been going on for years and writing it all out would make this post novel length. Any attempt to call her out is liable to end up with her becoming very aggressive and accusing you of trying to "make her feel like shit". She cannot live independently and is entirely dependent on our parents. It is clear she needs serious professional help. I have done a lot of googling and phone calls trying to find help for her but haven't had much luck due to patient confidentiality and her being an adult. She has seen the local mental health team before but I don't know what they arranged - she doesn't seem to have regular therapy and whatever they have suggested hasn't made a difference. I don't know if she recognises that she needs to change, or if she even wants to.

The problem is she seems to think my parents are completely to blame for all of this. She thinks she is mistreated and is unwilling to accept that she ever does anything wrong. They're not perfect parents but they have put up with an ungodly amount of shit from her and bailed her out countless times. I really think they've done the best they can but have now reached their limits. It's got me wondering how much of this is common for people with BPD and how much is just her? Is there anything I can do to show her she needs help, or anything I should know that would make me understand better?  

Sorry for the long ranty post and thanks for reading. Any comments are much appreciated.