Hi! I'm 19 and basically been struggling with depression, anxiety and other shitty stuff since I was 11. Last year I got drunk with a friend and had a wake-up call, realized I can't keep doing what I was doing (which was basically self-sabotaging, constantly talking myself down and not letting myself get out of the depression hole I've been in for most of my teen years) and tried to get better. 13 months later I'm doing a whole lot better: better self esteem, more trust in my friends and I've been clean of self harm for probably about 6 months by now.

Recently I've noticed I'm slowly starting to spiral downwards again. i tried to ignore it but my room has the obvious depression clutter, I'm irritated by everything and pushing people away. I want to get better but I don't know what to do at this point. It feels like the past 13 months have been useless because slowly I'm sinking again, definetly not as low as I was but still. The moment I realized was when my friend told me he didn't want to play a game with me and I compelely shut down, spend all evening in my room thinking about how he doesn't like to hang out with me and how my friends don't like me. I'm thinking more clearly now and know it's not true, but I need to do something before I go down more and it's gonna be too hard to pick up the pieces again.

What are small steps I can take? How do I keep myself from spiralling again? Will it get easier?

Thanks in advance, lots of love &lt;3