i work in childcare. today there was a pajama party where all the kids got to stay in late, dress up in pajamas, get served free food and watch a movie. i had to work it for a little before leaving.
as children were coming in, they were playing old pixar music box covers. for some reason i was getting really upset. being surrounded by this closed in, childish event for some reason. just the entire environment.

i also really dislike carnivals or arcades. something about their aura just puts me off. i’ve never actually liked being in them.

it’s not always met with disdain, though. 

up until last year, i would annually log in to my copy of pokémon moon on my birthday. whenever you walked into the pokémon center on your birthday, the pokémon center would be different. there’s be a cutscene where they’d congratulate you on your birthday and say a whole bunch of sweet things. after the cutscene, you were able to use the pokémon center as it previously was, except they would always say happy birthday before they asked their usual question. the whole time the pokémon center theme would be playing as a music box cover. however, these emotions were positive and not anxiety filled. they would always bring me to tears. this is just one instance of actually getting some sort of happiness out of my weird nostalgia issue. instances can be both negative or positive.

i have a hypothesis. my childhood was not very…childlike. i’ve always been pushed academically and extracurriculars to be the best in whatever i did. i had been trained to be a prodigy. in doing so, i guess i didn’t have much time to spend just being a child. i never went to sleepovers or arcades or any other sort of childhood past time. maybe being confronted with these things i hardly got to experience is making me feel weird?

can anybody tell me what it happening with me? i cant find anything online concerning a problem or anything similar to it.

thank you guys.