I feel like I just woke up from a nap except this nap took a few years. Everyday was so blant, numb, boring and basically the same. I felt bored and tired for no reason and. Only lately it started really hard to hit me how much time I've wasted. This feeling of guilt and sadness is unbearable. I feel confused because I don't know what to do anymore - with myself and my future. I feel behind and uncapable. It's really a mishmash in my head, feeling all these emotions at once is terrible and greatly affects my health. I am truly a lost cause.

And yes in these years I went to various therapists and tried many meds, was close to land in a psych ward as well. Nothing works.