I think I’m slowly going insane. This is all very difficult to describe so please be patient with me. 

Every second of every single day I have this sitting anxiety in my chest that has been there (un-relieved) for months and months. I can’t eat, the only reason I eat once a day is because I know I need it, not because I want to eat. Eating literally grosses me out 90% of the time. I can’t really describe it. It just feels like when I chew I immediately want to throw up. 

Sometimes I literally feel like two completely different people. It feels like all my feelings, thoughts and emotions all contradict themselves inside me internally. 
I’m missing gaps of time, I’ll look up and be at my destination even those I was spaced out the entire time and driving was a blur. 

My memory is suddenly horrible. I will literally be driving and forget where I’m driving two like 2-3 times while I’m driving. Every time I walk around at work or need to get something from the back room I every single time forget what I was doing. Every time. It never fails. People will tell me they had a full blown conversation with me or told me something and I truly have no recollection of it at all. That part tends to really scare me. 

Sometimes I literally don’t even feel real. I feel like glazed over. 

I get upset over the smallest things. Like, irrationally upset. Example, I wanted Wendy’s last night so I stopped by the one by my house and it was extremely crowded. That irritated me but not too bad. I went to another location because I really craved it. Waited in line for 20 minutes to be told I can’t pay with a card and I had no cash. I got really upset and stormed out, slamming the front door open and slamming my car door. I was talking to myself in my car about how ridiculous that was. I’m yelling in my car to myself and people are starting at me in my car which only made me more mad. I pulled off very erratically and drove erratically (speeding and going in and out of lanes on the highway.) I was mad till I got food. 

Idk what’s happening to me but I’m really scared.