I've been body-shaming myself and hating every bit of it and it makes me cry more when people act like I'm beautiful, maybe i am but i don't see i, I can't get out of my closet cause the community surrounding me doesn't support it, i am forced to follow a religion i am not happy with, i get compared to everybody by my family, i am really confused now and can't write long but long story short i went through real depression 3 times 1. I kept crying for hours 2. Someone on reddit made me laugh last second 3. I cut my hand, i was expecting to cry more but, it made me happy, i am not sure why and, i am not comfortable talking to my family because they will make it religious, i am so confused now why was i happy and i wanna do it again now "while the house is asleep" but, i considered sharing my story on reddit.