I dont know if i am depressed or not, but i thought this to be the best sub to vent a bit and maybe get some advise. I have just finished my exams, which went great, and in those 2 weeks i really felt happy, i was extremely relaxed and could enjoy every little thing around me, which issomething that i was really having a hard time with before. But yesterday evening we had an examparty and when i was there i just felt so incredibly alone because i just felt very awkward being myself around people that i have known for years. I have always struggled with being more introverted, it just seems as if extroverted people go through life so much easier, like they can enjoy themselves way more. Now the day after the party i just feel like complete shit because i feel like i wasted another possibility to show a more extroverted side of me. 

I think that i felt so relaxed during my exams because of 2 things. I was doing something i actually quite enjoy, learning and showing that i am quite smart, and i think that because my exams were going quite well i started feeling even better. The other reason why i think i was feeling so much better is that i dint have to go to work. I have always struggled with work, it felt and still feels like the worst day(s) in my week and i just keep on looking up to it. It just feels like all the good times i have during the week are clouded by that day of work, even though i really dont think i hate my job. I thought that it was happening because i really didnt like my last job so thats why i switched a few weeks back, but this new job still makes me feel like shit, but i do need it to pay for university next year.

It might just be that i need to settle into this new job, but it just feels like in every part of life where others seem to be thriving i am being held back by my own mind. I just feel like my overthinking and low confidence are ruining my life but i dont really know how to stop it all. On top of all that it feels like my best friend has little interest in me. While she does listen and really seems to be a good friend, i just feel like i dont really matter that much to her, partially because i am always the one starting the conversations etc.

&amp;#x200B;

I just feel lost, and it is becoming really hard to see the good parts of life and why i should go through the bad parts. Im sorry if this was a bit all over the place but i just needed to get it all out.