I grew up in a dysfunctional environment and family/friends that knows of my upbringing say it was horrible what I went through. I only remember bits and pieces, but in my mind it wasn’t too bad. I know a lot of people have gone through much worse.

When I was very young I had really bad night-terrors that continued until I was 12 or so. I would be awake but stuck halfway in dreams. I could walk around and see everything in real like, but there would be aspects of my dreams that followed me into reality temporarily. Similar to hallucinating I’d imagine.

My biological mom had substance abuse problems on top of Borderline Personality Disorder. She would either be drunk or high most of the time. She would drive drunk with us in the backseat as children. A couple times she tried to kill herself when me and my siblings would stay with her. She often had different men live with us and occasionally she would make us live with them.

I ended up living with my grandparents later during high school.

I could never focus on anything for more than a couple minutes since a very young age. In high school I had horrible anxiety and panic attacks to the point where I was prescribed Xanax. There was a couple months I have no recollection of because I was high on it. My grades were very bad.

I was angry most of the time and would lose my temper over the smallest things.

I lived recklessly and didn’t care about anything during the last couple years of HS.

After HS I decided to move to a different state sporadically. A family friend got me a job at a mechanic shop. I quit 24 hours after I was hired. Later I got hired at a gym pretending to be a personal trainer. Fake it til you make it, right? I wasn’t that bad at it, but I couldn’t keep it up forever. I moved back home soon after when my life wasn’t going anywhere there. 

The anxiety continued and the OCD started. I would spend hours washing my hands and taking showers thinking that germs and viruses were all over me and my clothes and they spread would everywhere. I had to throw all my clothes all away and purge most of my things.

The intrusive thoughts became unbearable. I had become a slave to my broken brain. I couldn’t handle it anymore and finally got help for the anxiety/OCD as I thought I would become suicidal. The medication worked, but there were other problems.

I became very depressed but would have periods of feeling extremely driven and motivated. Once I thought I was the smartest man on the planet, another time I thought I was Batman.

Looking back to my childhood &amp; teenage years I was very much like a method actor. I would see characters in movies that triggered something in me and I would adopt their persona; changing my clothes, hair, mannerisms &amp; even the way I talked. Sometimes I’d stay in these characters for weeks or months until I found a new one. Idk if this is normal or not. I hated myself growing up and wanted to be someone different.

I could never hold a job for more than a few months. Usually just quitting randomly.

I went to a community college for something I was good at and enjoyed. I got hired at a nice agency downtown when they saw my portfolio. So after my first year I dropped out because I felt like I was way smarter than my peers. But like every other job I had it ended quickly.

I bounced from job to job for a while and realized it was never going to work. I was a circular peg trying to fit in a square hole. This wasn’t designed for people like me.

Immediately after this realization I started my first company. It was fairly successful, but not enough to make a good living.

When I was in my depressed state I would give up on everything and just sleep all day.

When the manic periods came I would come up with a new business idea and I’d persue it. Often not panning out to anything.

During one of these cycles of extreme drive I had another idea for a business. I convinced a friend of mine it was amazing, which it turned out to be. About a year into it the company it has become extremely successful. Far beyond anything I had imagined. Today I still work at this company while also pursuing other business ventures.

I continued seeking medical help for my mental health, and was diagnosed with bipolar, anxiety disorder/OCD &amp; ADHD. I still deal with it everyday but the right medication helps.