Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy, as BPD often makes you feel. 

This particular thought recurs frequently, Specifically when I’m questioning myself and my decisions/choices (basically every day). 

I’m sat thinking about what an awful person I am, and suddenly I’m overcome with a sense of “oh well, it will be alright! I’ll leave my life in the hands of God/some higher power and I know that things will be okay- they will show me the way”.

My issue here is that I don’t believe in God or a higher power really, I’m not religious at all and never have been. 

Is this just a way that I am purposefully avoiding taking any responsibility for my actions? DAE experience anything similar? 

Any advice/support is welcomed.