I'm not officially diagnosed yet. But i believe i have BPD and i also believe that my therapist knew about it. I don't know if there are any DBT program in my city. Even if there is, maybe my therapist knows that i'm financially struggling to pay her, so she doesn't recommend me. I am a drop out college student, now working. But will be going back to college in August.


It has been maybe 6 months since i first saw her. Progress is so slow. But she's very calm, and nice, very smart, and willing to help. But I have a lists of things i hate about therapy.

1. She's trying to keep things professional. Not being too friendly and have a healthy boundaries (which are great). But i hate that i can't 'read' her. It's hard to explain, but I feel like she's too far away from me, i unconciously emotionally detaching myself. I want to get to know her

2. Bcs of that i have a hard time trusting her.

3. I feel like i'm not sick enough for therapy. Every week i debate myself rather or not i should go back. It's very annoying. My life has too much ups and downs, i don't know how i feel anymore.

4. I don't have any behavior problems. Past week i binge eat and spent so much money (like 80% of my bank account in 2 days). But i don't drink (been sober for at least a year), i don't cut (in like 5 months), i don't drive recklessly like i used to. Like i said, i'm not sick enough. But still not happy with life.

5. I fear like i sound so stupid in therapy. It's embarrassing.


I'm functioning well right now. Just need fcking validation that i need therapy bcs i'm so fcking hate my life. Argh! Sorry for ranting