I’ve been doing benzos a lot the past few months &amp; addiction runs in my family . Anyways is it weird that when I do xans or whatever benzos that I feel so good but also get the urge to sh? like idk it’s so weird . I stay clean bc I don’t want my parents to know but when I’m messed up I just don’t care and do it anyways. Like I’m messed up rn and I wanna do it so bad even tho I feel so good . Idk I feel crazy