I need someone to give me insight. My BF broke up with me two weeks ago. He’s been going through compassion fatigue and doesn’t know if he loves me anymore. He has become defensive himself and always assumes my needs and emotions are irrational by default. When we broke up, he said he wanted to be alone, and be around other people, and that it’s up to me if we get back together or not, but I have to “get myself straight” first regardless.

I didn’t even fight back. I was drained myself. I thought he was gone. But he has been talking to me every day since. Sometimes he even hugs me and cuddles me a bit if we’re together in person.

But at the same time, I feel distance, even when he’s next to me. He’s going to parties and has made new friends. He has become more comfortable talking about his friends going out to get girls and his past hookups (though very *very* vaguely. Nothing extreme at all). He’s making plans to get an apartment (we were originally going to move in together).

Now I’m scared and confused. What does he feel about me? Does he ever want to get back? What if he suddenly gets a girlfriend? I tried ride it out but I couldn’t. I decided to confront him, then go no contact depending on what he says.

I messaged him saying the following:
- I’m still working on myself, but I do want to try dating him one last time again one day
- I still have strong feelings for him and our current relationship and the lack of clarity of his feelings and what is going on is confusing me
- I want to know where he stands in this, and how he feels about me/getting back together

I spent an entire day planning what to write out, then slept on it and waited a few days to confront him, but it still wasn’t enough. He told me I’m reading way too into this. That he already told me how he feels. That “you’re you and I’m me”. That me wanting to eventually get back together and being afraid of him finding someone else “has nothing to do with now.” Then he started telling me to channel these fears into getting better. That I’m obviously not working on myself if I’m confronting him like this.

I stayed calm, but he was annoyed and started cursing. I finally just gave up because I wasn’t sure if I was being reasonable or not anymore. I haven’t asked to go no contact yet because maybe it IS just me over-reading things. Now he thinks I just had another episode even though I feel like I didn’t. Can anyone please tell me what I did wrong? Am I really being that irrational?