I recently was diagnosed with BPD which originally was diagnosed as unspecified due to my past doctors (all being not so ethical) wanting to dismiss such a “horrid” title on me as they put it. I ended up falling in love with the most wonderful man who said he’d be here no matter what when it came to my disease and how bad it got. I naturally believed him, and have now lost him after a few years of it. He pretends he didn’t leave due to the illness, but then references things I did during the episodes that made him leave. My BPD never being properly diagnosed due to bad doctors effected so much of my life. This man took care of me in all the best ways, and I lost him. My disease makes me hate myself, makes me scream…. I hate being bipolar and I don’t think I’ll ever find a love as beautiful as him again… I’m so crushed and I guess I’m just really really scared. Before him, I put off love for SO long because this always happens, but now it happened again and I’m just very very terrified. 
Has anyone else dealt with being left due to this disease? I’m really trying to get better, but it just hurts me a lot