My husband (soon to be ex?) Suffers from bipolar 2. Back in June I had to make him leave, he wasn't taking his meds correctly and his episodes were turning verbally/mentally abusive. We have two daughters, one is his step daughter that I had from a previous relationship. 11 and 3.

I. Am. Exhausted. I miss my husband, and I hate feeling like I wasn't enough. I tried so damn hard to be a good wife to someone who seemingly hates my very being. It wasn't always like that, we used to be best friends. 

Now I am struggling to keep up with the house, the kids, work, bills, while also fighting the urge to hide under the mountain of laundry on my bed and never come out. But I can't....my kids need me. I dont want to take a shower or exercise or talk to anyone. I want to mourn the loss of my marriage. I want to sleep for 48 hours. Instead I'm floating through each day trying to make sure my kids are fed, bathed, emotionally supported and feel safe. My daughter cries for daddy while he is off alone playing video games in an apartment somewhere with no responsibilities. But I'm not allowed to be resentful because he has a mental illness. 

I don't know where I'm going with this post. I'm just so damn tired. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for years, and I know I can't just give in. But God, some days I really want to.