Hi all. I have BPD, and my close friend and FP is 'quiet'/covert NPD. Our relationship seems to have a really definite pattern, he disappears/withdraws, months pass, eventually one of us gets in contact again and we talk for another few months, we start slow but catch up again and things get more serious/intense/romantic, before he eventually cuts me off again and the whole thing repeats. From looking up stuff here and on other subs this seems like a common pattern between pwBPD and pwNPD..

I'm so ridiculously attached to him, when he withdraws it absolutely kills me. But I imagine he's also hurting, but in a different way, and I don't want to hurt him either. How can I best sustain this relationship? How should I treat him so as to not trigger any NPD related pains?

Has anyone here with BPD sustained a long term relationship with someone with NPD? By relationship, I mean of any sort and not just romantic/sexual. Any advice?

Also, this is a reminder to myself, because I know I'm going to feel the urge to later - I SHOULD NOT, under ANY circumstances show this post to my FP LMAO. Thanks all, and I'm gonna post another version of this question to r/NPD as well. 