I can't handle it any more. I want it to end, I want the pain, the sadness, the anxiety and stress to end. I want to stop seeing stress on the faces of my loved ones. They tell you you're not a burden but it's clear to see. 

I only live so that others don't have to deal with the pain of my death, but what about my pain?

The doctors just throw pills at you, playing games with your neuro chemistry, and it doesn't much matter to them if they fail or succeed. 

What's the point of publicly funded health care if you can't actually get the care you need? At least if it was privatized I could go into debt to get help.

Venting on a throw away. I don't know what to do.