I asked my therapist this question and we never came to a definite conclusion. In trying to manage this disorder, is it better to avoid triggers as much as possible or to face and work through them?

I ask this because in my previous relationship, my ex dealt with my illness (which we didn't have a name for, I didn't know I had BPD until less than a year ago) by tiptoeing around me, not expressing any opinion or side of his personality that he thought might upset me or provoke any sort of reaction. While this made for a peaceful home life in one sense, it also prevented me from making any progress on myself, prevented him from knowing me and allowing me to evolve, prevented me from knowing him, and made our relationship hollow and ultimately nonexistent. There was no "there" there after so many years of dishonesty via omission. 

In my current relationship, I have struggled with being triggered by certain things (if it matters, most of my triggers center around physical appearance), and have communicated to my partner what sorts of things trigger me and asked him to please be sensitive to these triggers in his speech. To his credit, he has gotten much better about being responsive to my needs and I generally don't get triggered anymore. 

However, I started to think, is this the first step on the road to another non-relationship in which my partner feels that he cannot be honest with me and express himself openly? Where is the line between avoiding triggers and asking him not to be himself? 

And for my part, should my modus operandi be to avoid subjects that trigger me? Or is real healing only to be had by confronting the intense negative emotions that triggers bring up and trying to get to a place where they no longer have power over me? (I will be honest, I cannot begin to imagine what that process would look like or that it could possibly be effective).