I’m sorry if how I word this offends anyone in advance...I try my best to be respectful and understanding.

This is kind of regards to splitting I believe.  I was a FP for someone who suffers from BPD for over 2 years.  Most of her previous FPs she had a little resentment towards nothing major though. She’s had a few FPs since I was her FP as well.  We have mutual friends so I’m aware when she talks bad about me as it circles back...not a huge deal, I get it...the thought of me triggers intense negative feelings.

Anyways while I was her FP for 2 years and her friend prior...her mother had seemed to be a person of blame for her to everyone.  Her mother did have unstable relationships and BPD traits herself so I can imagine that was very hard on her...

However unlike when she split previous FPs...usually it’s 3-6 months she does...that never changed much anything.

Now since she split me, she and her mother seem to be getting along much better...her mother even mentioned this to me and thanked me over everything I had done to help her daughter work through several struggles she had.

Anyways, to every FP since me...she seems to make me the main villain in her life...not her mom nor the previous FP she split on.  Some of her mutual friends give me a heads up on a regular basis.

When things went south between her and I...I never once reacted mean towards her...she did say once she wished I would.

She continued contact, then she cut contact because she says her BF of 2 months requested she did and she respected him more than me who had been there for her for years.  I respected her wishes...then she reached back out to me occasionally again after a few months.  She would message and comment on my posts...like things were normal.

I got her something for her Bday, nothing special but I had every year prior got her something...her BF(FP) flipped out and threatened to end their relationship if she accepted anything from me.  She immediately blocked me the following day everywhere.

But she tells people she blocked me prior and I refused too accept that.  A few mutual friends know that’s not true but I told them it’s not worth arguing against it.  She is no longer with that BF but when she talks to people about things I’m still to blame for seemingly everything.

I guess what I’m asking is there more intensity in the negative feelings against someone after splitting in relation to the positive feelings prior to splitting?  Most of her previous FPs she still talks too...me she would literally do a U-turn on the road to avoid me...which I don’t get why when 90 percent of our communication after the split was initiated by her...I would simply remind her that my door is always open if she needed to use it because that’s part of the promise I made when we were friends.

Anyways sorry about the long posts...I just can’t wrap my head around her still hating me over a year later...and it seems the hate is more intense instead of fading to indifference like usually happens.