I finally had a day off today and I always seem more stressed out on my days off than I am working. Today, I went to go get a haircut and when I walked in, my barber was all ready to take me. I sat in the chair and had a panic or anxiety attack. I literally felt it coming before I even went in there. I breathe normally, but it’s more of a body attack. Usually I’m okay, and just barely make it through the haircut. I have a medical condition that makes me hard to stay still. I knew I was going to have a hard time sitting still due to my cerebral palsy, so I get self conscious if other people are watching me too. They’re probably wondering what is wrong with me. I sat outside the place for a half hour before I could bear to do it. My anxiety flared up so bad before I even walked in because of the thought of having to stay still and not look weird. I hate that I’m like this. I told him that I forgot my money and had to go get it just to get out of the situation. Then I just left because I literally couldn’t do it. I was shaking and I couldn’t stop when I sat in the chair. It all has to do with my VERY noticeable disability, my anxiety/shakes that wrap right around it and retain my body, the thought of what people are thinking. Even my legs felt like they were about to give out and I didn’t know if I was going to be able to walk out of there. I hate my life and the way my body. I hate it.