I always stare at myself in every reflective thing there is.. I dont even know why its like OCD I have to look.. sometimes I disassociate and just look at myself.. I used to constantly take photos of myself.
when I was younger I took like at least 10 photos a day.. I was always taking selfies at every occassion ignoring everyone wherever I would go.
Yet my self image is so unstable its crazy.. Its like I never look good at the moment but when I see photos I took in the past cause theres billion Im like ohh I looked so good what the fuck happened now.. For a long time my appereance was the only thing I cared about. No one in my highschool or first years of Uni ever saw me without makeup and hair done.. When I used to have social media I only posted my face and photos of pets and yet I fucking hate myself.. I DONT UNDERSTAND THIS PHENOMENA LOL.. am I the only one? Is this a BPD thing or do I have some comorbidity wtf