I want to thank everyone for sharing their experiences (even if they are sh*tty). This is the first place I have ever felt that someone gets me and that I'm not the only one with these jacked up thinking and behavioral patterns. It's the first place I haven't felt dismissed, but I have felt *heard*. 

I promise it gets better. It will probably take years, lots of frustration, tears, and what seem to be silly mental cbt/dbt exercises, but it will get better. The small things won't seem as bad. Of course, any big life changes will throw you for a loop and wind you back up in therapy but that's okay. 

Embrace the positive that comes with having bpd- there are few people who will love and cherish and appreciate a person as much as you. Work on putting all that love and compassion towards yourself too 😉.

My treatment team has only agreed on bpd tendencies for me right now but I have written a 9 page paper on the classic signs that I have and plan to read it to my therapist at my next session (this was me unsuccessfully trying to fight the feelings that my treatment team doesn't believe me and is dismissing me, which they're totally not). I have the answer as to what would make a 5 year old kid depressed and anxious and finally feel like I belong somewhere.