First of all,  I have not been formally diagnosed as bpd, but mostly because I'm not willing to sit for the diagnosis.  I was  was raised by a Narcissists and etc.   

For whatever bizarre reason, I NEED to call my partners mean names and make them cry with my words before and during sex.  For the right partner I can skip actually doing it, but I have to at least imagine it.     I was not abused and I've never done it without consent. Indeed, it turns out it's way easier to find people into receiving verbal humiliation than you might think.

Sometimes if feels like I'm the only  woman with my fetish. I know there are lots of men who enjoy administering humiliation, and lots of all genders who enjoy receiving it, but what i do is different.     It seems like most fetishes are kinda evenly distributed across genders more or less. I wonder: why am I the only one with mine?