I am not sure how much longer i can keep doing this, i’ve felt constantly depressed for the past 2-3 years and its really taking a toll. I feel worthless and stupid. When did things start to go so sideways? Did I always feel like this and never realized it, or did something happen along the way that brought me to this point? I’ve got to the point to where suicide is almost a daily thought and the idea of killing myself doesn’t evoke emotion because im so used to it. When i first started to think about killing myself, I would feel very sad that im even having those kind of thoughts. Now, the idea of killing myself is almost soothing. It is soothing because it gives me the option to stop all of the suffering. My mind is running all over the place and i don’t know who to talk to or to express myself to. I really want to start feeling better soon, because I cannot take this for much longer. I feel like im just stuck in a cycle of depression that continues to lower the quality of my life. Something happens, i have a negative reaction, then i have suicidal thoughts, and then I just continue to spiral. And why should i even be so depressed? There are people out there who would kill to be in my position. I don’t know… i feel like I’m talking all over the place and not making sense. I just want things to get better and i dont know what to do