Please bear with me I’m not well versed in the Reddit world. 

 I’m not sure how to start but …… I’m a 45 m in Missouri. I’ve been here for about a year and a half living with my girlfriend and her kids. I don’t know anyone else in the area and with covid it’s hard to get out. As far as say to say life there isn’t much to complain about. I’ve got a good job, it may be boring and mundane but they treat me well and I don’t struggle financially. My home life isn’t bad. My girlfriend and I get alone and her kids too. Things aren’t perfect but what relationship is. Lately though I do just feel hopeless. I’ve been feeling as though if I where to leave tomorrow it wouldn’t make a difference to anyone. Pleased note I’m not thinking of anything type of self harm. I just feel like disappearing somewhere and starting over. I know it would be easy for me to do as I’ve done it a few times before. I just know or at least I feel it probably won’t solve my problems deep down. It’s just hard to exist in a place where you feel as if you are just invisible. 
I honestly don’t know what I need or how to apply any bit of help I’m looking for. 

J