I love pining. I love having someone care about me and knowing they care but not knowing if they love me back. To be loved back is so incredibly scary. 

I’ve been thinking about confessing to a girl I used to love. I’m more scared she’ll say she feels the same way then that she’ll reject me. If I’m loved back that makes the relationship too important. If the relationship is too important the fear of fucking it up is unbearable. 

I can’t ever have anyone return my feeling because if they do when they leave it will break me to an extent I’ve never felt before.  

It’s a weird contraction to be constantly chasing affection but so afraid of it.