With bpd, it's really hard to control my emotions. I am doing emotion regulation training, again but most of my bpd  I have to control myself. I dont have the resources to get the kind of help I need so I have been making it work.

When I got back with my bf, after a long break, i had thought about quitting drinking. He was the only reason really I drank but with him back, I didnt need to, or so i thought. I decided to have a good night hanging with my friend and my boyfriend but that night, my bf did something I perceived as a threat and I got jealous and then I got mean. I really hate the person I become when I drink sometimes, you either get the good happy person or the mean cynical one and I dont likr the 50/50 odds.

After that night, I resolved to stop drinking. It's been three months since that night. A couple of times, I resorted to the same old thought pattern of "I'm not feeling well. Drinking will make it better" but when I go to leave my house, I cant do it.

Does anyone have tips on how to stay sober? Does anyone have any success or horror stories? Theres not much information with bpd and alcohol.