Every day I live with nihilism, hopelessness, regret, pain, and mental anguish despite my so called “success.” Even though I have a job, a vehicle, supportive family, things I thought would make my life bearable, I’m always hopeless. 

I still live with my parents because I don’t make enough comfortably to live by myself without needing roommates. I feel like shit because of that. I don’t have a girlfriend because I’m insecure about literally everything (living situation, low self-esteem, introverted, everything else). I feel like shit about that too. 

I hate how sensitive I am &amp; that I cry when things go wrong for me. I hate how I’ve always lived for other people instead of myself. I hate that I’m a coward, a pessimist, an indecisive fuck face. Nothing satisfies me anymore like it use to. 

I thought life was suppose to be something more than this. Nothing makes me happy, at least not a long-lasting happiness. What else do I have to do to feel like my life is worth living? I just want to drop everything and just go away somewhere to find out what I’m suppose to do in this shitty world. I want life to make sense.