I’m not diagnosed with anxiety, but I suspect I have it. I started noticing at 12, after my mom had suddenly gotten severely sick.

Last year my friend (15) passed away. I was upset for months, then now  I’m heading to acceptance. I just feel more irritated than usual, I saw that irritably is a symptom of anxiety.

2 of my non close friends messaged me. A guy and a girl. She messaged me like 2 weeks ago, 12 am ish venting. I do not have energy for that. I tried to explain that I was going through something too.

It was 9 paragraphs of fucking venting, to me on a school night, I’m a 10th grader not an adult that can help you out.

My sadness, turning into anger can might have affected how I feel, but then she said 

“Sorry for your loss, these things can be compared but it isn’t nearly the same.”

I feel like my grief was invalidated. Then she messages me a couple days ago, venting, because I listened to her last time. I try to help help her, then she leaves me on seen.

This guy messaged me, asks how I am. I ask him he says “not so good”. I don’t know why, that just made me angry, like he messaged me to just vent to me.

The easiest fix would just to leave instagram, but it’s just a few people who I don’t like messaging me. I don’t want to ditch everyone for just a few people.

I also don’t want to ghost them, because they have issues, I regret presenting myself as someone who will always be there for them. Last year, before my friend died yeah, but I really have no energy at the moment. Too anxious to set boundaries, too anxious, fearing that if I don’t be there for them something will happen to them.