I have horrible nightmares that can cause panic attacks and that’s exactly what happened last night. I called my FP when I woke up (9am) and burst into tears. He just seemed annoyed. We kept talking and he eventually said “well I signed up for it.” In a angry tone which just upset me more because of courseeee lol. 

This past month my mental health has been declining slowly. It started with depression and then panic attacks (which I rarely experienced before) and now I’m too anxious to leave the house. Anytime I’m alone in public I dissociate and freak out. 

I want to cut. It’s been over a year but I don’t know how else to punish myself? I feel guilty for hurting him and I deserve pain to makeup for it. (No he is extremely caring and would never say/ imply that). I cut the back of my arm but it’s not the same.