So I've been in a friend group for a year and a half. They are very toxic to me, or I should say two people in there specifically. These people I shall call A and B to not use real names. A is sort of our defined leader in our friend group and he pretty much does whatever he wants and whatever we do goes through him. I believe a friend group should have no leader especially because we're in the same age group. B is basically A's lackey.

A has this charisma to him where he always tutors me as if I'm the one who's wrong, and I am always at fault and silly me who has the confrontation skills of a donkey fails at pointing out his flaws. So when I do say "Hey, A, you told me not to do this one thing yet here you are doing it" it's hard to explain in words but he always make me look like I'M being predatory or annoying or inappropriate.

B is just a jerk and is always belittling me for A and is continuously sarcastic. I can never be around him without getting insulted at least once. Everyone else just watches and does nothing.

Pretty bad, and pretty frustrating and it makes me feel rage beyond anything I've ever felt. I just end up getting into this loop of self hatred more than anything. "Why didn't I say this?" "Am I the one that's wrong?" "Why do I always get into this humiliating scenario."

&amp;#x200B;

But I had an awakening as I looked at two group chats side by side on discord. One where A and B tore me apart when I shared my opinion. The other where I had a conversation with another friend group about DnD. I just saw the difference of what I felt, what emotions I experienced. For A's group, I felt tense, exposed, nervous. For the DnD group, I felt at HOME. At peace. I could say anything and they'd still love me because they're my friends. 

I had this introspective therapy where I realized that I was hurting my mental health by constantly being undermined by A's group. I learned that I need to spend more time with my DnD friends and really appreciate them because those the ones I want to stand side by side. the others are situational. When I leave that area, they'll forget me. 

I should too.