Maybe overstimulation isn’t a BPD thing? I dunno. But last night I was in the store, doing some grocery shopping. I grabbed a cart and there was something wrong with it, it jumped and bumped constantly. I tried to just deal with it, but after about twenty minutes I couldn’t take it anymore, so I went back to the front of the store and moved my things over to a new one. Problem solved. So I go on about my shopping, and it seemed like every single time I needed to go down an aisle, there was someone just standing there with their cart, either on their phone, talking to another customer, etc., or there was a U-boat piled high with boxes in the way. That frustrated me. 

I wanted a pair of shoes because I’m going to an event today and need a halfway decent pair, and I’d been seeing other people talk about how this chain was getting in some really cute shoes. So after I finished grabbing my grocery items, I headed over to the shoe department. The aisles were a DISASTER. My particular location hadn’t gotten their new stock in, and the aisles were a ransacked mess. On top of that, there were four people just crowded around talking to each other on the specific aisle I needed to go down. So I decided not to look at the shoes and instead headed up front to get the few things I needed for class this semester. That was a mistake. Those aisles looked like they’d been hit by a hurricane, and even though it was almost 10pm, they were crowded with parents buying their kids’ school supplies and even worse, the kids themselves, who were running up and down the aisles (one of which ran out in front of me causing me to almost run over her, since she was small enough that I couldn’t see her over the stuff in my cart.) Finally, it was time to check out. 

For whatever reason, I’ve been craving a LIFE water. I don’t know why I like them so much; maybe the added minerals make it taste better to me or something, I don’t know. But I’d checked back on the water aisle for some and there wasn’t any, so I checked every single cooler up front, and there weren’t any there either. So, I checked out and headed to the car. I can’t drive because of a seizure disorder, so I go grocery shopping when my parents go. They’d already finished, so they were out waiting in the car. I made it out there and loaded my groceries into the car and got in, only to discover that my mother was very loudly and obnoxiously popping and smacking a huge wad of bubble gum (I have misophonia, and that’s one of my trigger sounds.) That was it. I started bawling. Crying alligator tears. I cried for a good twenty minutes; it was just too much. I put in my AirPods and turned on some brown noise, which helped me calm down. It’s about to get to where I can’t go grocery shopping anymore, because it seems like I run into similar problems every single time.