Please don’t bash me, but I feel like you guys might just relate this trigger or have an idea or two. I feel *really* guilty saying this because the child has special needs (non-verbal autism), and I *really do* care about him and my friend. But because of his disorder he shrieks this absolutely blood-curdling scream intermittently throughout the day as a way of communicating his needs (he’s non-verbal/can only say a few words). The shrieks trigger major physical anxiety: they make my heart stop in absolute fear multiple times an hour (all day long) while they visit, and then I can feel the adrenaline rush each time (like the adrenaline rush when you *almost* have a car accident), then I have to try to breathe and get myself back to normal until it happens again. I end up being irritable the entire time they visit, which lasts a few days since they live out of town. 

While they’re here I simultaneously feel really guilty/hate myself because I know he absolutely cannot help it, and also guilty because I know my friend needs to get out of the house and have a vacation just like everyone else. I *know* she can sense the palpable irritability from my end, but I have to keep this friendship because I don’t have close friends and we’ve been friends forever. 

I can’t just ask her to come without her child. I can’t just blame my less-serious disorder and tell her I am triggered by a noise she deals with all day every day herself. I don’t make friends easily and I need to keep this lifelong friend that I actually still have. Does anyone else get unnecessarily triggered at loud noises? I already have extreme irritability with loud noises and already have anxiety with houseguests, so it’s a double-whammy. I can’t imagine using breathing exercises or meditation in this type situation. Any tips on how to handle the trigger/irritability and just enjoy the visit, or should I avoid the trigger and try to find other ways to catch up with her? Or should I just ask my doc for a few emergency Xanax for the visit and and ride it out? 

FTR: This has absolutely nothing to do with my feelings about the child himself. I give him gifts and take pics of him, etc., and defend him in public when strangers glare at him. I just don’t know how to deal with the noise trigger.