Hello,

I'm a doctor. I haven't work since my graduation almost 2 years ago. And now I'm starting a new job in a new country and maybe with more responsibilities than before.

So I have never been to a psychiatrist. But I think I have GAD with many other things.
I was anxious since my childhood. Anxiety with social anxiety. I was bullied for my looks for quite sometime when I was in elementary school and it ruined my confidence and self esteem. I avoid participating in class although I know the answer. I avoid attention, I do the impossible to avoid attention. I speak with a soft voice. And that make me not live to my potential. But I was smart. I was good at school without even trying that hard. High school was ok but I was always stressed about how I look, how I was perceived, about participating in class and presentations. I would be thinking about presentations a month before. Then I choose medicine although I hated it. And that was a decision I was mad about for years until now. Med school wasn't that hard except the presentation and the rounds. Then My first internship was hard, I was responsible for many patients. I was stressed all the time, I go home thinking about patients, dreaming about them. It was pretty hard. I was left alone juggling all of this. Then after internship. I took a year off and I had jaw surgery. To be honest the surgery helped a lot of build my self confidence. I was better but not cured. I went back to residency and the anxiety related to work came back. The double checking and the triple of prescriptions. Waiting for lab and radiology tests is hell. Always expecting the worst. Always catastrophizing. Going home spending the day and night anxious thinking abt patients dreaming abt them Sometimes calling the doctor in the night shift to check. It was hell. I was crippled by anxiety. So I was avoiding night shifts avoiding hard rounds. And I wasn't living for my potential. Seeing other doctors who aren't as good work anywhere anytime easily really hurt me. The anxiety is not only work related but to every aspect of life and the ruminations abt career choices and choosing medicine. After the surgery I'm more confident. And after the residency and being away of work for 2 years and working on myself, I feel my anxiety is way better. So now, since I'm going back to work, I'm a little be worried about the anxiety coming back. And I'm also worried about the job new country new language. I'm worried about being responsible directly. 

So I wanted to ask you about your experience starting a new job. And If any doctors are here, your experience with medicine, anxiety job related. Tips coping mechanisms.... 


Thank you for your time