I grew up with a shitty childhood, I was poor, sickly, and not very outgoing. It all went down hill bad after my parents split up. My mom dated not so great people and my dad had to couch surf to survive while dealing with crippling arthritis and alcoholic hepatitis. I couldn't even tell them I was raped when I was 10 because I suppressed it so hard(I tend to disassociate when dealing with overly stressful situations.) My dad died when I was 13 after his the damage to his liver turned into cancer and eventually traveled to his lungs. I was receiving a social security check but my mother was stealing it to do drugs and I wasn't confident enough to do anything about it for years. After me and my grandmother went to the social security office to get that situation fixed life calmed down for a few years.

From ages 16 to 21 I got some peace. I climed out of the hole of depression, made friends, went to parties, and finished high-school. It was all good until recently 

I decided back in 2021 it was a good idea to move into a apartment with my friends. This was a huge mistake. It was all fine for a few months but I guess my trauma just makes me difficult to deal with. They wanted people over and wanted to party all the time. I partied alot to cope with my dad dying so the novelty of it had grown old to me. It had grown to be too much so I decided to leave before the lease was up( I wasn't on the lease bc I agreed to have the smallest room) we agreed that I would help with the remaining rent since the lease was close to being up, but my best friendas well me a few slurs then blocked me and the rest of my friends(accept for the ones I wasn't living with) pretty much ghosted me. After awhile even the ones I weren't living with ghosted me aswell. 

I moved back in with my grandparents after all of that. I was barely holding on. Work was further away and gas was getting more expensive. Eventually they wanted to move me to 15 hours a week and we couldn't come to an agreement so I left. While I was searching for a job I was bite by a brown recluse, which, turns out, im highly allergic to. Going to the hospital wiped out all of my savings and the wound refuses to heal. After I got out of the hospital we found out my grandmother was riddled with cancer, she didn't last long after the diagnosis. Her funeral was a week ago now and I've never been lower. My plan is to join the army but now I'm content to die in my hole and let the world forget about me.

Tl;dr-after a life long series of tragedies, my friends ghosted me, went to the hospital and lost all of my savings, and my grandmother passed away.  Content to just rot away.