My SO, Scottie so Hottie, says I lie to myself about who I am and that I should stop if I want to get better.

I agree.

My mom is a narcissistic asshole who made me feel like no guys would like me because I had knee scrapes/scars and I hated dresses. I was "a tomboy with a mean streak" who needed to be more girly. So I lied to myself about being this nice, sunny, selfless person who didn't like to do much other than read. 


Fuck. That. Today, I have apart of myself back. Here it is: I am not the world's nicest human, I don't take shit because it stinks,  I am an impatient and arrogant know-it-all sometimes and I like to do activities that may cause scars because it's FUN to me. 

  On the flipside, I've given my last to someone who needed it and I'd do it again without thought. Making people happy makes me so happy. I love to help people because I hate seeing people suffer. I am sensitive softie, not strong like I had to pretend to be. I cry at the mere thought of how many millions of people are being abused at any given moment. It hurts my heart. Most importantly, I fucking hate dresses/skirts. I can't ride a bike in one, they usually have ZERO pockets and if shit goes down, I can't make a break for it. "Get the fuck outta dodge" are words my ~~fight or~~ flight system live by. (I have ditched people on several occasions. I am not proud.)

Now that I can admit to myself what I tried to pretend I was not, I can fix what I don't want to keep. Like being an impatient, arrogant, know it all. That part would be *a lot* easier if people would just hurry up and accept that I'm probably smarter than they are though.

So, yeah. Scottie so Hottie's piece of advice helped immensely.

Have y'all been lying this whole time, too!? Can you handle the truth?