DISCUSSIONS OF SEX, SELF HARM AND SUICIDAL IDEATION S

Saturday night, I went out. Already feeling pretty down. Met a woman at the bar. We went back to her friend's house. Then to mine. Had sexual interactions. I couldn't maintain an erection. So, I was left feeling off. She gave me her instagram details and I sent her a follow request.

She left early the next morning. Then last night. I got super drunk. Gambled and lost a bunch. I tried reaching out to a bunch of people. Then, I turned up at her friend's house. Scared her friend, then I left. I had an implement to harm myself on me. I was going to, with the intention of finality, when I saw a message from a friend I'd called earlier. I called him. He talked me down and I went home. 

This morning. The girl who stayed over told me she'd had fun, but what I did was unacceptable. She wanted no further contact and was considering filing a police report. 

I completely agree. I apologised and told her I understood. Then asked if she could contact the police. I unsent that message and she has since blocked me. I'm in minor financial trouble and frankly despise myself. I'm not currently suicidal. I half-heartedly tried something, but couldn't go through with it.