I am a 25F and I feel 50 because of my depression and chronic back pain. I go to therapy I take a cocktail of medication I try to eat well and exercise but there are days when I’m just tired of trying to be well. 

I want to wake up and not have my back crunch with every move I make. I don’t want to freak out at work because I was triggered by something someone said. I try so hard and I’ll never be normal. I look at my cabinet full of pills and wonder what went wrong. In reality nothing is inherently wrong but it feels that way. Something is wrong with me and despite all I do I can’t be fixed.