That sounds a bit extreme to say but I often just don't understand how people can say, "I have to work this job I hate because I would be on the streets if I didn't!" I always secretly think to myself, "If I were stuck in a situation like that again, I would just kill myself." Not that I endorse or would ever encourage anyone else to do that, but WHY do I seem to have such a low will to live compared to other people, even others with BPD that I've talked to? Can anyone else relate to this? Has anyone else been able to overcome these types of "I'll just kill myself if I end up screwed" feelings and actually be more motivated to WANT to make things work? The idea that I can always just kill myself if things don't work out is a very persistent "escape route" that I've had in my head and never been able to get rid of.

As a side note, I'm not currently homeless thanks to my parents still supporting me (which I feel horrendously guilty about), but I am broke, unemployed, and have no life at all because of my lack of a job...yet even that doesn't motivate me to want to deal with yet another horrible, stressful work environment. I was always a good student and was highly motivated to do well in school, but I seem completely lacking in motivation to do well in life...if it means being stuck in yet another crappy job, anyway, as I'm hoping that maybe one day I can miraculously get a job I like, or can at least tolerate. What's up with that?!