I cant do even the simplest of things I cant even go up to a stranger and say hi i cant do anything right and i dont want to try anymore. I tried to stop self-harming but i relapsed two weeks ago and again today and I just want to be drunk all the time and do all those toxic things and behaviors and just fuck around with people and cheat and lie and all that fucked up shit. I'm young and been listening to the lecture of "oh things will get better i promise youll get older itll be ok" for almost nine years and its just bullshit absolute motherfucking bullshit.