My (47m) wife (mid-40sF) is in the psych ward at the hospital.  She has been there since Thursday.  The doctors say the earliest she will be out is Friday.  She actually packed a bag expecting to be put there when we went to her regular psych appointment together.  She has been trying to become a recovering alcoholic but has been struggling. She was doing a home Valium assisted detox and drank anyway.  The result were two incidents where she was definitely driving under the influence in one situation.  And likely in another (I didn’t learn about the first until I rescued her from the second - thanks find my iPhone  ).  

She just hates herself.  She hates everything about herself.  The way she looks. Her fitness level. Her drinking.  Her inability to be the mom she wants to be    The list is endless. 

I don’t know how she starts liking herself to make progress on any of it.  I have tried to tell her and show all the ways she is amazing (she really is) but I don’t think it has ever worked and starting to think it never will work.  

It’s hard not to mirror because it takes precious little from her to make me feel better even when I feeling my most horrible.  I want to be that for her.  I am started to think that might not be possible.  I don’t know where that leaves us but it scares me.  She is my person.  I honestly look at other women and almost always think they don’t hold a candle to my wife.  She is the compete package.  She is funny, caring, loving, pretty damn sexy and gets me.  

This is hard