Girlfriend just broke up with me because of her own mental health struggles.  It was so hard for me, because I understand exactly what she's going through.  It's just hard to accept that someone that honestly adores you, and someone you fell head over heels for is losing the fight, and just felt like she wasn't ready.  I can honestly say I hold no grudge, and my affection for her remains the same, but I can't help but feel like I'm slipping back into my own depression.  It just feels like I can't escape this cycle, it looks like it's going well, until a reality check hits and you realize just how dissatisfied you are with yourself and your current situation in life.  I live in an honestly hostile environment, and I'm a slave to my education, with no energy to devote to much else.  My friends all live far away, and my girlfriend has left me.  I want out, but I'm stuck here at least until I finish school.  I prop myself up with drinking and smoking, depend on it to make me feel better at the end of the week, and Im just struggling to keep my head above water.  This is in stark contrast to how I felt weeks ago, when my girlfriend had confided in me that I was the only guy she knew aside from her brother that she could truly trust, and wanted to talk about a future together.  Sometimes I wonder if it's worth even looking for love, I just end up getting burned most of the time.  Although I guess if I'm gonna be a firefighter I'll be getting burned a whole lot more.  Just felt like I needed to vent somewhere - thanks. 

- Ike