I went through a manic episode and said some really mean things to my mother. I ended up in a mental health hospital due to suicidal thoughts but ever since I came out I feel like not visiting or going to gatherings because I’m embarrassed. How do I fix this? 


I believe I blame her because she did not protect me from my alcoholic father and my evil older sister. Plus my whole family has mental health issues that do not want to bother with. Not only that but my older brother started molesting me at age 4 or 5.