I relocated away from everything I knew for a job that’s taken advantage of me and driven me into depression worse than I’ve ever experienced. The things I used to do to deal with depression like making music and playing video games are meaningless. I can’t stay involved with them for more that 20-30 minutes before it feels absolutely pointless. Actually, extend that out to everything, including the job search. All the friends I would text have grown away. Even my parents barely try to have conversations with me anymore, but I think that’s because everyone thinks I’m okay. 

I’m too self aware and insecure to wax intimate like I’m the only one whose felt this, and I’m on Reddit so I’ve seen literal videos of the worst humanity has to offer. I just don’t get what the point is anymore. I think of Lebowski and the nihilism quote; “That must be exhausting.”

It is. It really really is. And I’ve got so much more time. What am I supposed to do?