Made this account to post here as idk who to talk to without feeling like im making things worse for others.

Not been feeling remotely like the happy person i used to be. Spend everyday smoking weed and for the past few months drinking A LOT more than i have, nearly every night.

I live at least an hour away from any of the few friends i do have, and the only time i see them is when i go to them. No one comes to see me here. I have lived here since October and have had company twice, even with countless offers for people to come here, stay, whatever is needed.

I see these same people busy with others on a regular basis and making efforts for them. I guess I just dont feel important to anyone anymore. I feel like if i disappeared no one would really come looking.

Feels as if everyday is just on cruise control as i just try to manage anxiety and depression into the next day, and do it all again. Fake how happy i am to those around me and just hope that somehow i find myself again.

Exhausted.