Hello people. I will try to make this short yet understandable. Starting of my childhood I was a normal boy and when I reached my 5th grade I started getting bullied because of my weight, smelly clothing (we dried clothes near a furnace  during winter on wich we heated on and clothes absorbed the smoke smell) plus the poor house we lived in. Mental harrasment continued from 5th grade elementary school up to me finishing highschool (about 7 years). Highschool was probably the worst because people would bully me, put chalk on my hoodie one day, make all kinds of jokes and sometimes threaten me in not so serious ways. I felt like crying everyday but I didnt do it, I only prayed everyday they wouldnt bully me and I wasnt telling anyone about it. I just wanted school to end and get away from those people. Fast forward today and its the same me only im not fat, Im looking good, I have a job a nice relationship and bright future ahead. But I cant stop thinking about for one day about those people and things they did and I want will all my heart to hurt those people in any way, just to feel justice I guess ? I have developed some sort of depression wich got enhanced while working in a call center (thank god I dont work there anymore). With that there is this constant anxiety wich I have and an urge to hurt myself everytime I do something wrong because I think its what I deserve for not doing something right. Its hard for me to accept whats happened before or now and just move on.