my head hurts. i'm tired. i can't stop going back to these thoughts. i keep puking. i can't keep food down anymore its been a week and a half since i've had a day where i don't puke up my food. i'm hungry but i don't want to eat. i'm tired i'm tiredi'mtiredi'mtired. cutting is like a game to me. when i was a kid i never thought i'd be someone who cuts. it didn't make much sense to me as a child, even though i was sad all the time. now it's like a game. cutting means how many lines can i make on my arm. i feel in control. i'm so fucking tired. what if my parents see my arm. i wanna die.i wanna. i wanna sleep. i want to disappear. i need to work. but i need to work. i need to study. i need to do well on my finals. but i want to disappear. unexist. good night. sorry for messy rant, it's messy thoughts. gn