Hello! I feel really really anxious for thinking that my performance today (I am on probationary period) is poor. Every day and night, I cannot stop thinking. My co-trainees finished their training for only 3 months while I finished my training for 4 months but we have different trainers. I am slow and bad at measurements. I always think that I am a bad web developer. I feel ashamed for myself. How could I even tell my parents if my probationary period ended and my boss told me that I am not eligible to become a regular employee? What would my colleagues think of me? I already build a good connection with my colleagues for more than 5 months and I do not want to leave my company. There’s this one trainee who always seeks help for me and I always help her and ironically she finished the training for 3 mos and I finished mine for 4 mos and like I said we have different trainers. She told me that I do not have to worry since my performance is not really bad. I do not want to disappoint her. But what if I did not stay in this company after my probationary period ends? I feel so ashamed for myself, I always do my tasks even if it’s past midnight and none of my colleagues knows about this. I feel pressured and anxious and I cannot think straight. My family and friends always ask me about this job. They have high expectations for me. I already failed twice at my freelancing career and my family thinks that I am failure and they keep pushing me to find a job and try to be better. I do not want to repeat this feeling with my family. 

Thank you for listening.