Hey. I just found this sub a few days ago, but I think it would be the best place to bring this up.

I've been dealing with BPD for most of my adult life. It's varied in severity over time, but about 6 months ago, I had a particularly bad episode brought up by a traumatic event that resulted in 3 weeks of hospitalization and majorly diminishing my couple of existing relationships.

Since then, I've been attending therapy weekly, and participated in a DBT group which really helped me a lot. Until recently, my self harm and other dangerous behaviors have deceased significantly.

However things have taken a major turn for the worse this week. I've been in line for a really exciting job, but I haven't heard anything for a week or so now, and it's just really been playing on my abandonment issues. I just really haven't been able to handle it.

I've been trying everything I can think of to try to get through these feelings, but nothing helps. I've turned to being very promiscuous recently. I've been sleeping with at least one person a day for the past several days. I've been practicing safer sex, but still I'm starting to scare myself. I just want to feel close to someone, but not too close.

I don't want to talk to my SO about everything that's been going on. The stressful events of the past few months have put a huge strain on our relationship, and I obviously can't tell them about what I've been doing recently.

I dunno, I just needed to get this off my chest. I can't deal with the emptiness anymore.