My best bud invited me to his graduation party tomorrow and I'm super nervous. We had a falling out in April because I had a crush on him and haven't really talked since aside from playing some ges the other day. I still do love him in away and he's straight so it's like idk. he got irritated too when I said I'll be coming at 11 but the partt is at 3. I wanted to help his mom and dad set stuff up while he was out with his cousin because I could only get a ride at 11. So we are bickering back n forth trying to figure that shit out. He said his mom can get me but I'm weird about other people taking me places. 

My mom is able to take me now but we still where bitching. He was cool with it before his cousin said he was taking him somewhere. He didn't want me to sit at the house and I explained that I'd help out with stuff like. Then I told him I got him something which he's weird about that to and asked what it was. I told him he'll like it (it's a nice card $50 xbox gift card and I'll probably throw some cool stickers in there) 

So now I'm nervous because of all the stuff that has happened between me and him. He said he wants to hang out and see me so that's fine but like not even 2 months ago I wanted to blow him. Idk why he invited me is this some sorta test like idk. I've had so much going on mentally. I self harmed the other day and a little bit today too. Idk why I did it, I didn't feel good it just made me more anxious. I then gave my brother my knifes. 

Idk man theres a lot to this story between me and him. I wanna freak out but idk so much in my mind rn.