I've lived with my Mom since college graduation (almost 4 years now) and the only job I've held was at a library for 1.5 years... and I resigned via email after inexplicably disappearing on FMLA leave. I become so panicked at the thought of working again, and having to interact with the public and face possible criticism. For the last couple months I've toyed with job searches and interviews, and finally was offered a job. I took it, not because I want it, but because it's expected of me and I feel worthless without a job. My start date is this coming Monday, but 75% of me is already convinced I won't show up. I feel horrible about being so dependent on my mom, but the idea of having the responsibility of supporting myself with a career is terrifying. 

I have no idea what to do with my life career wise. I've grown adverse to working with too many people, and my English major offered no real world skills I can bring to the workplace. Anything I decide to do would require extra training, which requires extra money, and what if I drop that too? I am just putting more strain on my Mom, emotionally and financially. I'm riddled with guilt and I'm not sure where to go from here.

Has anyone else found success as a BPD sufferer, at least in terms of working and living on their own? What sort of career did you choose and how does it work with managing the disorder? 

Thanks for any comments - mostly I just want to connect with people who might understand. 