I'm seeing my therapist in 30 minutes but I still want to vent here. This past week I've been doing a lot of the things my therapist wants. Going to bed earlier, not drinking, etc. My therapist wants me to track my sleep and I've realized how messed up it is. I wake up what seems like every hour. I also had a vivid nightmare than triggered an episode. I broke one chair and one mirror this week. I also self harmed for the first time in months. Why is it that my body seems to backlash worse when I'm actively trying? 