I thrive in routine. I'm a teacher and I do so much for my students and usually anxiety is manageable day to day.

In the past 6-7 years I have developed huge aversion to change. Things like moving, going on trips, or other major changes have just got more and more difficult for me. I try to psych myself up for them but sometimes I just have panic attacks and can't do them. I've had some success but it still weighs so heavily on me and my main coping tactic is avoidance (unhealthy, I know). I even have to actively fight against having panic attacks on simple thinks like getting in a friend's car and going to the store (or carpooling). 

My wife is bored with our life, where we mostly just stay home and work. She wants to go places with me and she wants to have kids and she wants us to go places with said kids. When I talk to her about how difficult these things are for me she understands because she has anxiety about stuff too (different triggers) but it just makes me feel like the absolute worst husband because I can't do these things and although I'm trying to work on them I don't know if I will ever be able to.

Do you all have any advice for dealing with major life changes? Travel? The main travel she is interested in are ~4hr car trips, ~8hr car trips.