I want to talk with my doctor next month about starting a daily medication to help curtail my anxiety. Currently I receive a small supply of Xanax, 0.5mg / 20 a month, reserved for panic attacks. I thought this would be OK but for whatever reason my anxiety has been getting worse the last couple months - my routines are structured around it, I’m struggling in all areas of life outside of work. Xanax works exceptionally well when I am having a panic attack or entering a situation I know is going to be mentally taxing. To be honest, if I could take it daily, I would, because nothing makes me feel as normal as it does. However, truthfully, the medication absolutely terrifies me and I treat it with respect and reserve it only for emergency situations. I have an addictive personality and have watched it ruin peoples lives. 

I’m not looking for a diagnosis, just some insight into what has helped others prescription wise. I was once on celexa and didn’t notice much difference other than weight gain and libido. My anxiety has progressed from being triggered by only a handful of scenarios (flights, doctor visits) to spilling over into a general state of worry / anxiousness on a daily basis. It’s incredibly frustrating and it’s making day to day life increasingly difficult. I find myself avoiding people, crowds, large stores. Hell, even small stores and small crowds, which has never happened before. Another issue is that I have a phenomenal job that lets me travel the world and instead of enjoying it I’m just scared and anxious all the time. It’s also a big trigger - my job requires expo work, 1000s of people, huge open spaces, tons of visual stimuli. It’s overwhelming. I don’t want to down Xanax to get through what should be a fun and rewarding experience. 

The worst part about it is I seem to go into overdrive immediately when the panic hits. My fight or flight kicks in, I feel floaty, disorientated &amp; like I’m going to pass out. The only thing that helps is immediately leaving the situation which isn’t always an option so, sadly, not being in the situation to begin with is the solution. I’m just tired of living my life like this. My biggest fear is going into hysterics in front of colleagues or worse yet passing out. Sorry to ramble, I’ve never shared this with anybody and plan to dump it on my doctor soon.