Hello…I’ve found this forum to be much kinder for people who love and care for someone with BPD…and to the people who have BPD…to be clear they have been diagnosed by a therapist for BPD.

When we were first dating they told me early on they were Bi Polar 2 and had been treating it for years with therapy and meds…over the course of the years they tried different cocktails of Welbutrin, Lexapro, Lithium and when things got tough they took Gabapentin.  

Together for 7 years married for half and left in a big mess…it was like they didn’t know me anymore, everything  been my fault and everything great we had hadn’t ever happened or not that great for them. 

They would come to me whenever their life had hit some bottoms(…we were both sober and they relapsed just before they left…I’m still sober) then just start another cycle of drugs and bad men and again I would be the evil one.

I did a lot of work on myself getting into Al-Anon tons of therapy and learned to “detach with love” to get to a better place as I was heartbroken, just bewildered by everything and blaming it all on myself.

For awhile I thought this was a textbook relapse then one afternoon when we were trying to start communicating again they we’re extremely upset and told me that their long term therapist had diagnosed them with BPD…at the time I didn’t know what that even stood for…

The next week they fired their therapist and said they only got the BPD diagnosis because of me!

I should note they are a licensed therapist themselves. 

Fast forward to now…they denied they ever had that BPD diagnosis…they were misdiagnosed with Bi Polar 2 evidently even when they were treating it with me and now are diagnosed with ADHD!

It was confusing and I had felt like I had made something up…I pressed and they told me “…we’ll maybe I was drunk when I told you that” but our mutual friend was there when she got the BPD diagnosis and told me she had been extremely upset from the diagnosis.  

Said they were lying and probably using the ADHD to get speedy meds as they liked meth in the past. 

I don’t know…I’m just trying to makes sense of all this.  I do love them tremendously although I am in acceptance of the situation as it is.  Letting go, moving forward and all the things I’ve been told to do.

Does ADHD meds help with BPD?
Could they had been misdiagnosed all along?  Had they been hiding the BPD all along?  I definitely remember them raging on me and them telling me they were “splitting” asking what that meant and them saying “black and white thinking” 

So many questions so maybe I can get your take on things?

Thank you so much.  I’m kinda in some pain over this…trying to use the tools I’ve picked up but it’s tough.