I'm posting this on my NSFW alt so that my closest ones won't know about this. I already posted in r/SuicideWatch but I feel like this place can help too.

Title says it all. I'm from Finland and the mental health departments are so short staffed and so full of patients that I haven't been able to get the help I need for over a year!! I'm planning on tying a tight knot around my arm, slitting my wrist ever so slightly and calling 112 (EU equivalent of 911) to get the ambulance and police to pick me up and get me the help I need. I've already planned how to do it and how to be careful. I have a sharp, sterilized knife, disinfectant, a rag that I can use to tie around my arm to prevent blood loss, and a towel that won't be bothered by some blood. 

The reason why I'm planning on doing this is that I've been severely depressed for a long time and now after a recent breakup from a long time boyfriend and the death of my oldest cat earlier in the year have really fucked me up and I think I have some sort of other mental disease. My symptoms and how I act match closest to bipolar or borderline personality disorder, but I can't get the help I need in time. Last time I tried to get help the normal way it was supposed to take a month for me to have my first appointment, but it took four months and by that point I was forced to move from the town I used to live and couldn't use the same mental health services. A year ago I tried to get help through the Finnish Student Health Service FSHS but all of the mental health counselors, psychiatrics, psychologists were booked full four months away and I got so depressed that I didnt try again for a while. 

I really don't want to die. I really don't. I need help but it seems like I don't have any other way to get the help I need.