The number of shitty things that have surfaced for me lately are too much to take. It isn't just feelings coming up, it is forceful change and sacrifice, and uncomfortable new situations. 

I am afraid that I won't be able to do this without spiraling out. I used to do this all the time, because I had the freedom to. My relationships were based on neediness, and I lived alone-- I indulged my BPD to varying extents. Now, I cannot afford to do that. I could lose everything if I did that.

I am wondering how you all avoid the spiral and just keep going. Honestly, I feel like a kid reaching for their blankie-- and mine is not there. I don't think I have a single source of comfort in my life right now, other than sleep.