My regular therapist (who is awesome) has gone on maternity leave. There was no transition meeting, due to timing (her replacement hadn't been finalized till after she left)  I was told that the new therapist did DBT, and helped run a DBT group.  I was hopeful and excited to be able to have a regular therapist that would do DBT with me.  

I went to the appointment with the new therapist, and she started to take a history (fine/normal)  I was a bit irked that she hadn't read my file.  She had asked me about being assessed  by a psychiatrist and I told her it was in my file and she said she hadn't read it. (ok.. fine... she's probably overwhelmed with taking over all the new clients)  Then when I was recounting about my sexual assault she pointed out that I was defending the guy who did it.  Which, I wasn't (I was just explaining the circumstances of the attack, the person in question had a brain injury) and I even agreed with her that I can see that I do that.

 I've been through DBT therapy a few times, one of the things that DBT therapists do, is  validate you.  There was no validation at any part of this meeting.  

Nearing the end of the meeting (10 minutes left), she stated that I should be on Abilify.  I said, 'I don't want to be on antipsychotic meds, I've been on them before. They didn't work' She told me it wasn't an antipsychotic (it is) but a mood stabilizer (I'm already on a mood stabilizer.) Then she told me that without medication, that I would never have any improvement in therapy (sic) without medication.  By this point I was pretty upset.  I started crying, I told her I'd tried for 20 years on various medications and none of them had really worked and only DBT therapy had made any kind of difference. I am already on medication, and I don't' really want to change my medication because no one monitors the medication.  They prescribe it, and then it's up to the GP to monitor it. She says, 'Obviously you've been triggered, what's triggering you?'  In my mind, I was thinking, 'This isn't going to work,  I can't work with this woman.' as well as feeling sick (anxiety), and suicidal thoughts, 'I'm so broken, I'm never going to get better.'  I declined to answer, 'I don't want to talk about it."  I told her I didn't think this was going to work and that I was not going to rebook.  I left the office seriously considering taking my own life or self injuring (after going into the office feeling pretty positive and upbeat)

Knowing that emotions can change quickly in BPD, knowing that she did or said something that possibly triggered me, should I go back to see her again and talk about it? Or should I seek out  another therapist?  This therapist is part of my doctors medical team and is covered. It is very difficult to find another therapist and  I would need to pay to see a private therapist. I have NEVER had this occur and I've seen many therapists and doctors. I have never left an appointment feeling worse than I have going in.  

*The psychiatrist suggested I go on Abilify but after hearing how I was sensitive to medications, suggested that I do some group therapy for anxiety which I start in January. Which I am happy to do.*

TLDR: Bad first meeting with a new therapist - should I go back?