Hello, as the title states i'm in desperate need of advice. I want to place a triggerwarning for the mention of Selfharm here - as that is what i need advice for. 

To give a little background information on me: I'm a youn Adult, and heard of the diagnosis BPD the first time i was fourteen, and got actually diagnosed age Seventeen. I began selfharming age eight, but it never got really "extreme" if that makes sense, only needed stitches once, and ever since i just never could do it again, which i'm really proud of - but it also makes me feel like a failure. am I crazy for thinking like this? for thinking "hey look how weak you are you're not even good at this." 
does anybody have any tips on what i could do against these thoughts? it's so hard, I don't know. It just makes me feel like a total failure. I don't know if it really makes sense, but it's something i did to cope for over ten years and then boom - i can't do it anymore, which is amazing. that's probably the best thing that ever happened to me, but why does it feel so awful? If you feel the same, how do you cope with it? 

I'm sorry if this post is not okay, let me know and i'll take it down. Really anything is helpful, Thank you for reading and possibly answering.