My boyfriend just asked for a break, I know we'll get back together eventually but the fact that I was so awful with him till he reached a point where he wants a break from me .. is just killing me. He just wants us to take a while off and not talk and just thinks things through. 

Even my friends are taking breaks away from me and so is my family.. I'm always so hard to deal with and just a trouble maker.

I always wish i was dead or just not around any more.. I'm certain that everyone and everything will be better without me. 

Am I really that bad ? Will I ever be better for the people that I love ?will I always be mentally ill and ruin everything that is good for me ? 

I really hate myself.. I really do. And i don't blame others for hating me too.