Tw; self-harm, alcohol.

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Hi all,

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Long time lurker, first time posting here. This post is more of a stream of consciousness than a coherent story, apologies. 

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I have always thought I was just broken before I learnt about quiet BPD. I think I fit the criteria. 

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I have always struggled with rejection, amendment, and self-image issues throughout my entire life. I’ve had multiple rounds of talk therapy, and nothing has gotten better- I blamed myself for this. On paper I have a very blessed, trauma free life. This has always made me wonder if I had done something awful in a past life to be punished with such a painful internal life now. 

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The thing that always convinced me (and probably my therapists too) that I don’t have a PD is that I’m very self-contained, introverted, and shy. I turn all my emotions inwards, apart from the stress tantrums I exhibit around my loved ones. 

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I have self-harmed, abused alcohol, and have no boundaries with people. I don’t feel I can set boundaries as I don’t want to be rejected but I always feel people have the upper hand on me. 

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I was wondering how people in the UK have gone about getting assessed?