Hi. A few weeks ago I was doing really good. I had a schedule and I worked out and mentally was doing great. Then after coming back from a trip I started to lose emotion. It went from apathy to only feeling sadness and boredom. Nothing makes me happy anymore. I was already in too deep by the time I realized I was drowning. My therapist is telling me my medication has stopped working and I'm having a severe depressive episode. I can't stop falling deeper and deeper. Just out of a fun twist of fate I crashed my dads car today. It was an accident but it's just making loose it. It's the third time I've crashed my parents cars. I'm telling them I can pay for it but it's going to cost thousands of dollars. I just don't think I've hit the bottom yet and I don't know how much further there is so go. There is no light at the end of this tunnel. I'm moving away from my rural town to go to college in NYC in five months and I was so happy about that but now I just can't imagine five months from now. I can not get excited about my future anymore it's like physically impossible for me to get out of this horrible moment. That was the only thing that used to keep me going. It feels like purgatory and it's only really been bad since Thursday. I feel like I can't do anything. I don't want to drive anymore I think I'll just cause more damage. I can't help myself. There's nothing I can do it is so hopeless.