Seriously, this will be the death of me. This started back in August when I found myself at the emergency room in a full on panic attack. They just sent me home and told me to follow up with a health care provider. Gee, thanks! 

I did and started seeing a doctor, who was really just a nurse practitioner. By this time, I was in probably my 4th or 5th day of severe anxiety interspersed with panic attacks. She tried to give me Lexapro and I immediately tensed up. She saw that, mentioned a few others and then gave me buspirone.

So, the Buspirone, 2-3 weeks of that, along with the brain zaps and seemingly nothing else, I was like 'meh'. But I was also well enough to finally go back to work and feeling way better and almost normal. So after a couple more weeks I said 'Well, I'm good, I don't need the brain zaps pill' and put them away. That may have been a big mistake because after a couple of more weeks, about a week ago the anxiety came back with a vengeance. I was in disbelief. So I've been suffering for a week of this, so I called my doctor (nurse) and said 'I think you need to refill my script, I should not have stopped taking that, 'm back in the Hades'. She was sort of rude with me and was like OK, but Lexapro is a wonderful drug! That did not sit well with me and I said nothing. The next day I went and found myself a new doctor, not a cheap one, concierge, but I'm desperate and need someone I can get an appt today or tomorrow and who I have their number and text and who will work to get this under control. So I see them on Monday. 

My symptoms are the exact same as they were those 2 month ago the first time this happened. Extreme anxiety, very thirsty all of the time, cannot sleep (not sleep at all in 2 nights and only an hour or two on the 2 nights before. Not much appetite at all. Recurring panic attacks, pacing, racing thoughts, cannot focus on work, flight or flight 24/7. 

I started taking the buspirone again about 5 days ago, right after I started to fear that is why this cam back, no relief yet, it took at least 2 weeks first time. I didn't even know it was working because it is so subtle, it doesn't make you feel good, just apparently quiets down the racing obsessive thoughts and anxiety. 

This is going to no less than ruin my life including cause me to lose my job, at the very least if it does not downright kill me if I do not get it under control.