My life was going so well until one of my closest friends died in November who was someone I told everything to about how I was feeling and my mental health they really meant so much to me. It's also the second time I have had a close friend die in the same circumstances, I'm just lost and broken inside.

 My closest friend (Calls me a bestfriend prefer not being called it was my other close friends title also I'm way below on the friendship hierarchy anyway so I'm just a close friend). They are in a bad place because of this too.
I think I'm a reminder of the funeral. Which was traumatizing I felt sick for most of it. On some aspects I regret going. But I went for myself with the aim of closure.

I send my close friend some nice things and pics of my dog on Instagram each day but I think this is overwhelming them. I feel so guilty, I have been doing this for weeks it's exhausting for me to find stuff to send, I'm going to cut down to twice a week check-ins.

I carry a few things that my friend confided in me in my head, I can't tell anyone until the time is right.
I'm on the edge of coping.
My head rages with feelings of dispair and futility of life. All I really want my friend back. 
I'm putting on a happy character for people around me. I was put on Sertraline and i feel it's just not touching it anymore. I don't know what to do.