I’m going through a hard time right now, my depression began after my mom and dad split when I was ten. I haven’t gotten any help for my depression besides two, one week long hospital visits, one in middle school and one recently in 2021, I’m twenty two now. I haven’t been able to work because of my mental illnesses, I’ve pushed myself to the edge trying. I’ve had to reject a job that I’ve wanted since I could work.(movie theater) My mom has been aware of my depression for years, every time I mention it she tells me I need to talk to a counselor. I know I need medication but I don’t have insurance. two weeks ago I was unable to finish the job training process at a job I was applying for because I was feeling so down and stressed. This week my mom had asked me for extra help with my sisters, I pick my sister up from school and drop and pick one up from work everyday. I’m happy to help my mom whenever I possibly can, she works 2 jobs since recently and now has a new boyfriend. she usually isn’t home until around 9pm-1am at night. she pays me gas money to do this stuff all week but I can’t do my introvert job anymore (doordash), which was the only sure possible way for me to make cash. this week I did a lot of things that I wasn’t ready nor warned for, my mom sent me a list of addresses, dates, and times of my sisters agenda for the week. my mom also can’t text during the day so questions were off limits most of the time. it was a VERY stressful week to say the least, I ended up having a panic attack while doing my very last task my mom had asked me to do on the agenda, I was driving my sister to practice and 10 minutes into the 30 minute drive and I had to switch with my bf. my mom and I were very close  before I started seeing my bf, it’s been completely different since. she has shut me out, doesn’t really talk to me unless she is asking something of me. she makes plans with my sisters and tells me 5 minutes before they leave. I’ve tried talking to her before, about how much I love her and asking her if everything is okay, if we’re okay. she sort of dismisses it and saying everything is okay and she loves me. I can’t help but think she’s completely done with me. I mean she said today “thank you for all your help, I don’t know what I would do with out you. I guess hire someone to do it”. I feel trapped, I mean i’ve felt trapped for years but this is different, before I was able to make 20-60 dollars a day doordashing. I was still depressed but I was able to make money to get a vape, weed, and food, and if I wanted something special I could just doordash until I get it. now that all my time is consumed to do things that my mom can’t do, along with only getting enough money for gas to drive my sisters around, I have been unable to do, smoke, or even eat anything. The kitchen is often empty of food, which is why I would doordash everyday for food money. I have a past with ed so all this stress with no food has caused me to lose weight and my appetite. I don’t know how to talk to my mom, I have felt that way since we drifted apart. I can’t even hug my own mom, i’m too scared to. the only interaction I get is when I say “I love you” when I go to bed. I’ve asked her to spend time with me and she just said she’d like to but she’s busy. I feel overlooked… I don’t know what I should say to my mom (if i even work up the courage to talk to her), also any remote job ideas, I could use thank you!!