I have depression and anxiety. I was on antidepressant medicine. One day I was too depressed and I decided to take extra pills to feel better. I got worried and called poison control and they said I should go to the ER and I refused because I thought nothing will happen to my health. Two days later I took extra pills again and the same story happened. Called poison center and they told me to go to ER and I refused. I had no symptoms. Two days later I took extra pills again and called poison center because I was scared. This time I took my one month prescription once ( I called my pharmacy and lied about loosing my pills and got a whole month prescription and got home and took the whole bottle). Poison control strongly suggested me to go to the ER and I refused. Unfortunately this time my family found out and brought me to the ER. They evaluated me and said if I don’t accept to go to the psychiatric hospital voluntarily, they will send me involuntarily. I said that I don’t have any options so I go there voluntarily. They accepted. When the ER doctor shift changed, the new doctor changed that to involuntary. I requested to talk to him in person but he refused and he sent his nurse. I asked them to change it to voluntarily but they said it’s too late. I was so mad at them but couldn’t do anything. I went to the hospital and after one day, the court changed my stay as voluntarily. I was released after 4 days. I pretended that I am fine to get out of there asap. I pretended that I take my medicine there but actually I did hide the pill under my tongue. After I got released from the hospital, I decided to stop taking my new antidepressants because I was mad that they sent me to the hospital . My family seems happy because they are opposed taking antidepressants. After two weeks, I started feeling depressed and too anxious. I have stomachache because of being too nervous. I decided to start taking my pills but my family said that it’s not a good idea and they believe that I behave better without taking my medicine. My pills are in my family hands because the doctor at the hospital asked them to keep my medicine because of my history. I don’t want to take my medicine because my family definitely think less of me if I start taking antidepressants and I am fine with that. I am just too nervous and depressed again, but I’m too scared if I tell my doctor or anyone, I end up in the hospital again. I prefer to die instead of being in psychiatry hospital again. I appreciate it if you have any suggestions to help me have less anxiety. Do you think if I will end up in hospital if I tell a counselor or my doctor all this story?