I was emotionally abused as a child, which is where I believe I developed my bpd behaviors. I frustrate myself and my family on a daily basis because of how I am. 

I hate how I expect others to read my mind and know how I’m feeling or what I want. 

I hate how I can go from happy and smiling to angry and bitter in the span of five minutes. 

I hate how manipulative I am and I hate how one single person has such a strong hold on my emotions.

 I hate that I can stay up for days on end and not feel tired, but other times I could sleep for days and still feel exhausted. 

I hate how I feel like I have to punish myself for others mistakes. If someone breaks something I feel like I have to hurt myself as a punishment and apologize profusely. 

I hate how domestic violence on tv triggers me and causes me to say inappropriate things as a reaction.

I hate how mean I can be and how sometimes I don’t know where the boundaries are.

I hate how jealous I am and how far I’ll go to keep someone in my life because I don’t want to be alone.

I hate how clingy I am and how much I’ll pester a person. 

I hate how much I hate myself and the way I look, but at the same time don’t believe there’s anything wrong with me 

I hate how sadness makes me want to drink or do something stupid so that I don’t have to feel the pain

And I hate how I can go for weeks on end doing fine to the point where I almost forget I am this way only to have one of these bad behaviors creep back in and cause issues.