My name is Canon and I created an account because I’m in desperate need of support from this community. If I could only find people to relate too … Here’s my story,

Currently 25 years old and have been struggling w/ depression and generalized anxiety since I was in college about 7 years ago. Very dedicated, hard working individual who has made his way up into a great career path, making good money for my age. Despite the hard work I’ve put in and the time I’ve spent on my career, I’m in the process of reaching my end goals and am burnt out, extremely overworked, under appreciated, and saddened almost every day. Have been with my girlfriend now for almost 8 years and I’m actively fighting for my relationship. We’ve been through it all and I feel as if the downfall of our relationship is entirely my fault due to my mental instabilities / depressive state / and overall sadness that has taken over my life. All I want to do is marry this woman, and I feel as if I’m my own worst enemy … My anxieties and depression have almost ruined us dozens of times. Despite being a social guy, I’ve struggled with a social anxiety that randomly swept over me years ago, resulting in me not showing up for her when she’s needed me the most. 

When the times are really bad, I struggle with thoughts of ending my life … I struggle with the feeling of being good enough for her, and feel as if I’m burnt out with myself. I’m so consistently angry and disappointed with myself and the mental state I’m in most the time. I know my potential and what the real Canon is like when he’s not facing his depression or anxieties that cripple him. If only I could fully access that version of me all the time … the confident guy who loves to be there for anybody and everybody. The guy who loves to make people laugh and show appreciation to all the people that make my life special. Unfortunately, I feel as if I can only express my true self and truly feel comfortable in my own skin on occasion, maybe once or twice a week. The rest of the time I am sad … and feeling as if I’m a complete screw up who can’t do anything right, who can’t please his girlfriend, who can’t properly make his way through life, who struggles with continuing on living this life and finding meaning in it all …

There’s so much more to my story … If only I could find any more mid 20 year old guys who can relate with me. I would give anything to be able to find people to relate with and have support from. I feel like I’m trying to tackle everything on my own and I’m overwhelmed with everything in my life. 

Please help …