*Trigger warning-student violence*

I’d really like to share my story about what led to the absolute decline of my mental health, which was working as a TA for a private childcare center/school. When I say I was and still am traumatized by my experience, I truly mean that. I have difficulty finding a new job now because of it. So I’m hoping sharing this and even just writing it will help me heal.

Back in August of last year, I was given an opportunity to move from preschool teacher at the center I worked for, to the assistant in the center’s only private Kindergarten classroom (early starter students). I was, of course, thrilled. Confused by what I wanted to pursue career wise, I had left college to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, and taken a preschool teaching position back in 2020 after being referred by a family friend. Not having kids of my own, I wasn’t sure if I’d really enjoy the position, but I needed a job. But soon, I started to really enjoy early childhood education and bonding with my students. So when my boss started scheduling me to close my preschool room by 2pm, combine my students with the other preschool class, and then spend the rest of my day assisting in Kinder, I quickly displayed to the Kinder teacher and my boss that I really enjoyed the older age group and the role as a TA. 

My boss informed me the teacher in that classroom was having discipline issues and difficulty teaching solo. With that in mind and the fact I would need to adjust to the age group of 5-6year olds after teaching 3 year olds, I knew it would be a bit difficult. But it started out great. The kids were more self sufficient, but still loved cuddles and chatting with their teachers. The teacher I worked with also encouraged me to help give lessons and was eager to listen when I would share my curriculum ideas, and she even spoke to the owner of the center about giving me a raise, and paying for the books and such to receive my CDA. However, it all went downhill, very quickly. And part of that reason was the fact my bosses two daughters were also in that Kindergarten class.

After a few weeks of transitioning to Kinder TA, I started to see these classroom issues. At first it was several students who would just blatantly ignore teacher instructions, such as chasing each other around the classroom despite being asked multiple times to line up, join circle time, etc. I found this by itself quite stressful, as I was asked to basically remove and handle those students while the teacher continued the lessons and rewarded the other listening students. It then started to turn a lot darker. But to shorten the story, I’m going to jump forward.

By October, the kindergarten teacher had more or less been kicked out by my boss after sending in her two week notice. Behavior in the classroom was still an issue, but it amped up once a new teacher was quickly hired. His first day, all hell seemed to break loose as troubled students really tested him, and his main focus was on behavior, reward systems, and eventually the emphasis of” keeping hands to ourself”, especially with my bosses two daughters. He quickly saw they were actually the main issues in the classroom, the instigators who had previously been put on a pedestal by all their former teachers. Fast forward a month, he had also decided to leave the role as kinder teacher. 

This time, they hired a new teacher internally. I was told I would be “co teaching” with a long time pre k teacher at the center. However, it wasn’t long before I realized I wasn’t going to be coteaching, I would still be assistant, while the other teacher was given a huge pay raise and role as lead teacher. This was frustrating and disappointing, but we got along well and I learned to deal with it. Alas, it was only the tip of the iceberg.

Now fast forward to November through March. To spare you a much, much longer story, this is what became the daily normal……
I no longer had any opportunity to display my curriculum ideas, teach lessons, make decisions, or even know what the new teachers weekly teaching plans were. She ran the show, and I was told by others “the only reason I’m in here is to deal with the kids who are being bad.” Specifically, my bosses two daughters, who had become entirely the sole issues in the classroom - despite fake reassurance from my boss I was “needed and loved” and her girls loved me. 

Although not the only issues, at this point they were truly the root of classroom dysfunction. They would become jealous if another student received any praise, and would proceed to kick them in the stomach, the head, etc. They would violently grab a fistful of another classmates hair and begin dragging them, ripping chunks of their hair out. They would bite classmates, steal their items and run away, tear up their artwork or school work. One of the daughters went into the restroom while their classmate was using the toilet, and kicked the sobbing victim in the stomach, who had stood up pants down begging to be left alone. They had also realized I no longer had leadership in the classroom, so they tended to act most violently when I was alone with the class. 

Once again, to spare a much longer story, during my last few days, it became unbearable. The after school program had started back up, so elementary age students would be picked up from their public school, and joined with the kinder class. I was the after school teacher, alone. On this day, the two girls who usually left by 3pm, stayed late. And they brought all the older kids to tears after stealing things from their bags and tearing it up, hitting and name calling and demanding every toy or center was “theirs”, and one kicked a older student so hard in the face she got a nose bleed. I started calling out sick because the daily work anxiety and lack of support had become crippling. A former coworker also called me to tell me my boss was, literally, talking shit about me and planned to get rid of me once low staffing issues were resolved. And at the beginning of March, one day I decided it would be my last. I gathered all of my items from the classroom and took them home, and the following Monday, sent in my notice of resignation effective immediately. I am still coping with anxiety, depression, and low self esteem caused by that workplace, and have once again found myself questioning my career path. Almost every coworker I had at the beginning of my employment has also left the job due to my bosses corruption and the job stress.