It doesn’t change the things that have always been a constant in my life. Through all the years, circumstances, situations, phases. 

I’m unlovable. Undesirable. Yes, I hear the clacking of redditors who will throw default platitudes or attempt to browbeat with default lectures and slogans and their own “beliefs” and then say I’m as ugly inside as I must be outside because their suggestions didn’ t change the fact if you aren’t beautiful somehow you ultimately don’t matter.

I’m alone. I’m only getting older. And not gracefully. I suck at everything. I have a life and circumstances no one wants to be a part of. Especially with an ugly woman with a s@$- body. Someone will say if you don’t like your body change it. The changes I could attempt wouldn’t improve aesthetics and some things I simply can’t change. And age will just make it all worse. Every year goes by faster and faster. And I’m just a rotten avocado who sat under the the just ripe ones. 

I can’t give my kids the life they want and I can’t have the life I want and I can’t make myself up to par and I can’t change my circumstances. 

If you’re gonna suggest therapy and meds I’m already there and they aren’t making me beautiful or changing my circumstances either. 

But if you’re a fellow unlovable specific, you’ll totally get what I’m saying.