I've been poor my entire life. I grew up with so many siblings and due to the lack of money and time from my parents I never got to see a dentist. Over time they've gotten so bad. Neglect, time, money or even effort have all been consistent issues. I'm 23, and I never want to smile again because of it. 

I sit here, after crying in the shower away from my 2yr old son and fiance... Just thinking about how my son gets to grow up seeing me like this. Recently I've seen a dentist. Thankfully, and I have so many extractions needed and work to be done. But one of my front teeth are gone, (two total now), after just a bit ago. Playing with my son and him accidentally hitting me. I've had a hard time just talking to my fiance alone, who, bless her heart is just trying to help me but I can't even speak without feeling disgusted in myself. I'm constantly reminded by myself how much implants are, how much my teeth need work and just the sheer look kills me. I've been through everything, and it's been hard to smile already, but why.. just why is everything so expensive and difficult no matter how much effort I put into working or making my family feel like a family and not how I grew up. All I want is to smile. I want my son to see me happy and I just can't be right now. No matter how hard I hold back tears I look on the mirror and it's pitiful. 23 years old and I look like a meth addict in their 50s. 

I just want to smile. It's what I've wanted for years. It's all I want. I wouldn't care about anything else if I could just smile.