Over the past year or so I’ve slowly thought more and more about checking myself into a hospital somewhere to seek help for my mental health. I normally want to do it when I’m panicking and have this impending doom feeling. Like when I get that feeling I get extremely suicidal and I’m convinced I’m going to do it. Not in that moment but I constantly think about how that’s how I’m going to die because I do get very suicidal and depressed. I don’t really trust myself when I’m alone cause normally I end up hurting myself in some way or all I do is panic.  I genuinely feel like I need serious help or I’m just going to continue down this horrible road I’m on my with my mental health. The only problem is I can’t bring myself to take myself due to the fact I work full time and I just don’t want all my friends and family to think I’m nuts. My best friend is the only one who knows about any of my mental health problems because he’s in a similar boat I am. It’s just frustrating and I feel like I’m drowning. 