I’m a 19 yo college male struggling with some pretty severe anxiety and depression. I go out to a lot of social events and have met so many people. Everyone seems to think I’m a super uplifting and outgoing person, which I love to hear. Yet no matter how many people I meet or what I do, I feel so so so alone. 

To the point where I know everyone but have very few/no good, real friends. I’m in no group chats, nobody is hitting up my phone/snap, nobody asks me to hang out. 

I feel most like myself and the most happy when I am in a talkative and high energy mood. But unfortunately 99% of the time, I feel like I have no social battery/too much anxiety to enjoy my moments with others. It feels like I have brain fog/a mental block and I’m always just nodding along to others and agreeing and I’m unable to contribute as much as I want to because I have nothing to say. Group settings are the absolute worst. I want to enjoy them so badly but I get so anxious and shut down. 

I can’t live like this any longer where I’m unable to access my natural, extroverted self. I feel consistently unfulfilled by my relationships and thus life overall.