Depression

I don’t know why I feel the way I do. Why do I feel only 10 minutes of happiness and then 3 months of just wishing I would just get hit by a truck? People talk about depression like it’s just something you go through when you hit a rock in the road. No. It’s actually feeling the worst of all feelings 99% of the time. At least for me. I know depression is different for everybody but thats how I see it. Wishing you were somewhere else or someone else with good emotions. Being jealous of people who have it. And the worst part is it seems most people do have it. Why am I singled out? I wish I was more outgoing and liked people more. Whenever people do talk to me, I just don’t care. It’s not that I don’t care about them. I want to care about what people have to say and I just can’t do it. I don’t know if it’s because of my upbringing or just my genetics but it’s impossible. It sucks because in those few minutes I actually get some relief of happiness and actually want to talk to people and realizing everything is fixable. It’s doable.. then it’s gone. That’s what’s keeping me going though it. I hope one day I’ll feel like that all the time. I want to care. 

Just hold on guys, it’ll be ok