Like in movies and sometimes you hear about these things in real life, where the person struggling suddenly gets a burst of motivation or passion or ambition or whatever you want to call it, and they get their shit together and do the things they’ve always wanted to do and everyone else is like wow what an inspirational person. 

I know it’s stupid but I feel like I am waiting for that moment. But it’s not coming. It hasn’t for years and it won’t now. But I don’t know where else to find a glimmer of hope.