DAE/Rant about my own feels

Sometimes I feel like such a fckin narcissist. I never want to let ex's go because i want their validation, even if i dont want to give it in return. I feel pissed if I feel like theres someone in the room who is liked better than me. I even want validation of people on the internet. I posted a selfie on a discord server and then another girl posted one right after and got more attention. And im like damn i shouldnt have talked about my boyfriend earlier. Not because i dont want people to think i dont have a boyfriend but because im worried its why im not getting all the attention i think i deserve. Maybe the other girl is just prettier than you bish. Lmao i hate myself.