So I first started out with depression when I was about 10 years old and at that time didn’t realize it. I was almost always close to tears and anytime I would see someone feel anything other than sadness I would have to go away and cry because I felt like I was being punished for some reason. It eventually got to the point that I could not feel any emotion at all, wether that be happiness, sadness, anger, love, it any other emotions. I would fake anything that had to deal with emotions at all and I would just feel like I was so out of it all the time, like I was a passenger to my own life. Then the insomnia and anxiety kicked in. I would get a max of 4 hours of sleep per night and wake up a min. of 6 times. I would be so anxious when being around people I would constantly think “ what if they are judging me for this or that” and I would eventually stop eating my lunch at school because I feel like people would make fun of me because of what I ate. I would lie to my parents and say that I woke up an hour earlier and made my own food. I also started to feel suicidal at about age 11 and would constantly feel like I was getting yelled at by my parents for this or that. So far nothing has changed over the years and I don’t know what to do, I just need someone to tell me what to do.