Hi fellow bipolar 1:s!

Here’s the situation:
Up until recently I have left dating out of the picture. 
For two years I have focused on myself, getting better, friends and family ,
and getting back to square one.

And it has sort of worked. I’ve gotten my diagnosis, proper meds, 
I have my own apartment and have enrolled at uni to eventually become a language consultant. 
The university even offers great support in forms of audiobooks and note takers and mentors  and other stuff for those of us with a diagnosis.

The thing is I wanna go back to casually dating but my self confidence and sensitivity sucks.
That feeling when you talk to a person you think is pretty irl?  Clammy hands? Sweat from forehead furl? Due to social distancing I now get that when writing to some people on tinder. I either overthink when trying to figure out what to write and write something weird or underthink and write something that can be interpreted different ways and most of the time both result in me showing myself out.

Despite this “approach”, believe it or not, I sometimes get to the stage where conversation happens and with the last one we even talked of meeting up. We hit it off. We had similar interests. We started talking of going on a date together and I  UNMATCHED.. self sabotage enters the stage. My reasoning to this was I started having romantically aligned feelings with someone I haven’t even met. And how much more it would hurt if something went wrong during the date or later on and how that would affect my mental health. 

My questions to the floor are:
1. Is there a dating app for only Neurodivergents?
2. I’m suspecting there’s a correlation between breakups,heartache and rejection and me having manic episodes. Has anyone else on here felt similar? And if so
3. How do you deal with it? I can probably do the cloistered monk routine for the rest of my life but I’d like to know if there are options.



P.S

I apologise if the format is bad, I’m writing this lying down with a tablet affixed to a stand hanging above me while wearing a weight-blanket because that is my happy place and this topic makes me anxious.