I had a pretty complicated situation which ended with me being head-over-heels for a guy who went back to his ex girlfriend after a few months. I never got closure and frankly don't want it because there really isn't much for him to say. Long story short, he said his gf was abusive and toxic and that their relationship was "basically over". He cheated on her with me for a few months and then broke up with her without asking me. Then decided he was confused about whether he wanted to be with me and went back to his gf. I was really depressed before this all started and extremely depressed while it was happening because he would be so hot and cold and since yall know the torture of having an fp.

 I wanted to cut all contact with him but we are in grad classes together and have a very close mutual friends. He insisted that we stay close after the "breakup". I knew it was a bad idea but accepted because I am terrible at setting boundaries because I always try to "win people back". Fast forward 6 months and many regrettable texts sent and drunken nights where I humiliated myself by saying I still like him and want him back and one really bad incident in the past week where I said something horrendous to him and his girlfriend but can't remember anything at all. Now he gives me the cold shoulder and honestly I'm fine but he never lets me be alone with mutual friends. I've isolated myself. I don't want to be around him because I know what I am. I know what I can and can't control and don't wanna hate myself.