So no shock, I have bipolar. It’s been considered treatment resistant for three years now. 23 medications with a total of 35 different doses and dozens of combinations between them all, ect, ketamine, 22 hospitalizations, three residentials, php’s, and iop’s haven’t seemed to fix me yet. And every time we think we’ve found the right medication combo with maxed out doses that seem to be working, my brain basically adjusts to them and the bipolar takes back over. It’s been exhausting. My current/old (depending how Thursday goes) told me that we are virtually out of options and I will have to accept this as my life. She said that as I was on the phone with her begging her to fix me. I feel like she gave up. So Thursday I’m seeing a bipolar specialist. I don’t know what he can do differently. I know that there’s got to be some kind of option. I mean my life can’t just be a day or to of stability and then five severe episode days where I can barely function. It’s so hard not to give up. I haven’t given up, I don’t want to give up, but man, it’s hard. But I’m going to keep trying. For my music, my dreams, my boyfriend, my future dog, and myself. I’m going to keep trying because something has to work.