Depression episodes, we've all had them. I can't tell if I'm going into it but I don't know how to avoid it. There's nothing triggering me into it. For the past two months I tried stay as active as possible in healthy ways to just.. not become depressed. But the longer I manage to not fall into it, the faster and deeper I'll fall the moment I let my guard down or it'll just overwhelm me wholly. I guess it just wears me out the more I try to avoid it. I used to be a little ocd last year, I'd obsessively clean for hours without eating or rest, I was obsessed with routines and the color white so everything I owned had to be the color white. That was last year, this year I tried gym for a month or so. I just can't go on anymore. Everything that's considered easy or normal to do is so hard to do. I'm so exhausted no matter how much I sleep. I'm so stuck with it and my education had suffered the worst because of it. I have to work extremely hard next year, how am I supposed to do that. And mania's just spirkled everywhere on top of this soup of depression. I'm going through the same cycles over and over again constantly.