I can see why she thinks so, and even though she’s responsible for some of the ways that I act, I don’t want to burden her. I don’t want to live off of her forever I just simply don’t know where to go from all of the years I’ve spent doing nothing, absolutely nothing. I’m only 18 but I’ve already wasted so much time that I could have been using learning how to get out into the world and be independent, fend for myself you know? Instead I’m just here, playing rpgs and trying to figure out how to get my feelings out onto paper to make a living. I’m so upset that I can’t pull myself out of this “funk” like I said I could. I believed I could for a while. I don’t believe so anymore. I don’t know what I’m doing, what I should do, what’s the best path to take. And if I’m being honest I want to blame my mom for all of it, she sat here and let me stay home from school every week, let my absences pile up, told me it was okay to take my time, introduced me to marijuana, let me drop out. When I had to stay in school, speed up, and stay sober to give her what she fucking wants and be “great” just like her, cause she’s so damn great👍