I have waited almost a year for this psychiatrist appointment. After telling her my frequent severe mood swings, my dissociation issues, splitting, negative view of myself, chronic feelings of emptiness, explosive anger, and my family history of bipolar/borderline personality disorder, she said she cannot diagnose me with BPD because I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and “people with bpd can’t do that”.

I am at a loss. every mental health professional I have seen has told me it’s just my adhd or it’s because of my severe anxiety. This woman I talked to for only 2 hours would not give me a diagnoses because of one relationship I have had that has been long lasting. All of my friendships I have lost and gained again more then 3 times. Many of them I have lost completely. my relationship with my boyfriend has been nothing but sporadic and the fact that he is still with me is a miracle. Why can’t people take me seriously? I can feel myself deteriorating every single day because I can’t get the help I need because I don’t have a diagnoses.

I’ve been told to stop chasing a diagnoses. but no one will tell me what’s wrong with me. BPD has been the only answer to my mental issues. and if it isn’t bpd no one will tell me what else it could be. they chalk it up to “hormones” or “stress from life”. This psychiatrist put me on anti depressants that fucked me up and made me spiral in a way i never have before. I never asked to be put on antidepressants, and even went as far as to describe to her how badly they fucked me up the last time I took them two years ago. But I “needed them” to “control my anxiety”.

Idk. I just needed to rant. I hate the healthcare system.