What is the point of healing, if I have to live with the reality that my upbringing was shit?

How can I be happy for other people when I can't say "I had a mom who loved me?" when in fact she was the one who made me want to kill myself all the time

I never had a good life or a good childhood. I am so low and depressed that I often want to die just to hopefully reincarnate and have a better childhood so I can feel more at peace