I am aware that this is no place to get "diagnosed", but I am probably never going to see a therapist so I just want to know if i may possibly have it or not from people who actually have BPD. So basically, I am a very moody person. My moods can shift quickly. For example, I can feel normal/happy which then can quickly transform into anger and then sadness/depression. I can also be irritable alot of the times and that irritation causes anger. I get angry alot and it is difficult for me to manage it and the simplest things manage to trigger me. One major thing I realized was that whenever I am talking about my problems with someone, I may trust them one day, but then the next day or week I will see them as a liar when they did not do anything to betray my trust. My brain just randomly tells me that someone cant be trusted and so I stop believing in everything they say. One day I can see someone as a friend/ally and the next I can see them as an enemy. For instance, this happened recently where I had became friends with someone and I was happy that we were officially friends. Then literally like 2 days later, I do not see them as a friend anymore and I think that they were just lying when they said we could be friends. That same person also told me that I could come talk to her about anything that bothered me and I had trusted and appreciated her the time she said that, but now a few weeks later my thoughts tell me that she was just saying that and was lying to me. There is no one I can trust permanently. It feels like everyone is plotting something against me which is why I just randomly stop trusting people. I also have suicidal thoughts and thoughts of self-harm. I have not harmed myself in any way yet, but I am sure I will one day. I feel empty and hopeless as a person as I have no purpose in life.