I haven’t been in a long term relationship. Every relationship I’ve been in lasted no longer than a few months before I decided to ghost and bail since I’m scared of intimacy… lol anyways I’ve been sexual in all the other ways but I haven’t had sex yet. During some impulsive episodes and hypomanic episodes (im also bipolar) I’ve put myself in really sketchy situations with men during my teens and 20s which led to a few sexual assaults. I have this urge now to just go hook with a stranger so I can finally say I’m not a virgin… Am I just being impulsive again? Am I just going to be traumatized again?