Hello Community,

I have used a throwaway account, because this post should not be associated with my girlfriend.

At the beginning I would like to say that I love my girlfriend very much and can imagine a future with her perfectly. She has problems, but she as a person is simply the love of my life. 

Her depression and symptoms are currently part of her, but she is not her depression. That's why I can see the symptoms of her illness completely separate from her personality.

That's why I don't like to hear statements like " break up" or "she is playing mind-games with you". I would simply like to understand the matter from the point of view of a person affected in order to be a better boyfriend to my girlfriend.

&amp;#x200B;

Where do I start? So, my girlfriend needs very long breaks after every date before she can re-establish contact with me.

She reads my messages during those breaks, but doesn't answer me. She also doesn't want to see me. That means, in these times I hear absolutely nothing from her. It's basically no-contact from here side. I respect that and give her as much space as she needs.

These breaks **always** occur after dates and last about **2 days to \~6 weeks**. Before the break she always changes her writing style so that I immediately notice when it will happen again. I usually talk to her about it. Once she thanked me for it and was able to keep in touch. But most times, she immidiatelly stops contacting me after I pointed out that her writing style has changed.

Like I said, I don't hear anything from her during those breaks. At some point she texts me and behaves like nothing happened.

I am the only person to whom she breaks off contact in this way. But she's already done it with her former romantic partners.

Of course, I noticed their behavior at the beginning of the relationship. That's why I asked her about it.

According to her own explanation, **she is overwhelmed by the connection and closeness between the two of us** and needs time after each meeting to process everything.

According to her own words, this is triggered by her fear of letting me into her life and by the fact that I know about so many aspects of her that she's actually in fear of it.

**My question is:** Do you have such periods? If so, how are they triggered? 

**My important question, to people who behaved that way but do not anymore, is:** What method have you found to deal with closeness and allow for continuous contact with your romantic partner?

If you have any other comments or suggestions for me, I am of course happy about it, too.

I want to finish by thanking you for your time. I hope someone will answer me. I would like to show the answers to my girlfriend and give her possible solutions for her behaviour so that me and my girlfriend can take the next step in our relationship.

&amp;#x200B;

Thank you and keep on fighting. It's worth it.