I've been depressed for most of my life,but recently it's been getting worse. So to start I'm a 30 year old loser who still lives at home. I've never dated, work at a shitty job, and have no social life whatsoever. My cousin died a few weeks ago and he was the exact opposite of me. Went to an Ivy league school,  great job, nice apt, a huge social circle, had a GF. He was the golden child in our family. He died in a car accident mid April. I hate my life as it is but I don't understand why death decided to take him instead of me. Why couldn't I be the relative that got to leave this shitty life? I have no motivation to do anything or will I ever. If it was me, it really wouldn't of been a major loss to my family.