so i wanna start of by saying im not diagnosed with bpd yet, but i feel very seen by it. i just wanna know if theres anyone else who feels the same way as me here.

i feel so incredibly guilty for any second i miss spending with the people i love, especially in romantic relationships. i feel like i need to be there every second, anytime they want to spend time with me i have to be there or else i feel so guilty. if i missed their text, was already busy, fell asleep or just anything that causes me to miss hanging out with them i feel like an awful person and i start feeling so much self hatred and fear.

i feel like theyre gonna leave me at any given moment and that everytime i make a mistake like that im wasting the short time i have with them and that they'll hate me &amp; wanna leave me. especially since i have a pattern of ending up with very emotionally cold guys, so i never feel the comfort of them assuring me we can just spend time another day. i talk to them as if everyday with them is the last because of this insane fear and worry of being abandoned. i feel like i have to be inhumanly perfect for them.

they could cancel our plans or just ditch me without even apologizing and id never be mad, i just get anxious. but if i miss out on spending time with them just once i legitimately cry for hours and i cant forgive myself until whenever i get another opportunity to be with them, and if they were to ever leave id forever blame myself for the time i missed.

idk what to do. it hurts so bad to always feel this guilt.