Just started sobbing out of the blue tonight, have no idea what set it off. I’ve been really good for the last year, enjoying life and all that, haven’t hurt myself in a few years but today I _really_ wanted to. And I don’t even know why. 

So I had a cigarette and a good cry, managed to fight the urge to cut or punch myself silly. But now I just feel the overwhelming emptiness creeping back in. I just wish I knew what set me off again, like literally one second I’m fine and then the next everything is crashing down around me. Maybe I’ve been bottling my emotions again and didn’t realize? I don’t know. 

I’m starting to feel better now as I’m writing this, it was very cathartic. Now I’m just taking a deep sigh every minute or so. Thanks for letting me vent. Though, I wish knew what the fuck just happened.