This is going to be so poorly written but it’s really hard to put into words. For the past few years on and off Ive had this feeling like I no longer feel human like other people. It’s not that I think I’m an alien or something, I know I’m a human being and strictly speaking I am really not much different than those around me. I just cannot feel connected to any of it. I watch those around me falling in love and getting jobs and enacting the little dramas of their lives, and when I try to play a part it feels so fake. At work and with friends I act normal and keep conversations going and make jokes like I am an actor reciting my lines. I’m not sure it can be chalked up to depression making me more antisocial than usual, it feels like I’m not fully here the way other people are. I’ve never really dealt with dissociation or depersonalization but I don’t think it’s that. It’s like I’m floating in space watching everyone carry as normal, observing them from outside some bubble (metaphorically, not really). When I talk to people right in front of me it’s like I’m talking through 7 panes of glass. It’s kind of like being drunk and you’re in this haze and there’s just voices in the background and no matter how hard you try to be present and join the conversation you’re still in that kind of blurry bubble. Sorry if this is really vague, I’m just wondering if anyone has felt something similar?