im 24f and my partner is 33m. we started off as fuck buddies but it's been 9 months of daily communication, we see each other at least once a week and we're having a great time together. we're not a couple tho. I enjoy this kind of freedom bc i have sex with other ppl too.

the thing is...i think im getting way too attached to him bc i feel safe and protected when he's around. but he's emotional distant and that really messes with my mind. i dont care about labeling this thing between us, i just have some very strong feelings and I'm afraid to express myself.

he cares about me and supports me but i feel like something's missing?  i need some kind of affirmation that i can't get from him. i know he struggles with his own demons too and i keep telling myself that nobody's perfect and everything's fine.

but there are some times that i just cant control my thoughts. i overanalyze fake scenarios and get severely depressed and oh god i can be so fucking toxic. he's patient and always tries to talk things out. i dont know why this isnt enough for me... i feel like im destroying everyone getting close to me. 

im not looking for any specific advice, i just wanted to let this out of my chest.