I usually have a huge depressive episode this time of year but it hasnt really happened except for some mild depression and I oddly miss it. I was put on vraylar while I was manic in the summer and it works super good on me. Why do I miss my illness? This time last year I was in the hospital and on my way to being sent to residential. I really miss feeling crazy if we’re being honest and I really want to stop taking them but I can’t because I won’t sleep. Really struggling here. Can anyone relate? I feel so invalidated.