I understand that you can be in love and struggle with depression but do you ever feel unlovable because of your depression or struggle to maintain a relationship because you dont want to put others down. Ive been told on here that you shouldnt date with depression and its selfish, which I understand, but just because youre depressed doesnt mean you arent worthy of love. Idk I guess by reading this you can see how back and forth I am with it. In my personal experience I am capable of love but not receiving it, I truly dont think anyone can ever love me and i dont know if thats just my mental illness telling me that or its the truth. Im 23 and ive only had one 8 month relationship and that was when I was 18 and he was my best friend that I fell in love with, ive never been one to just meet someone and fall in love. In highschool I didnt date anyone because I thought about reality and how high school relationships dont last long term (very slim do and im talking about lasting 20 years down the road). For awhile after that relationship I tried to move on because he told me to and eventually after trying so hard to fall in love again I became okay with being by myself again I didnt look for attention or someone to love me anymore, it was like i was in highschool again and didnt care about being in a relationship. The only difference is im not a virgin like i was in high school so for awhile I was hooking up with lots of people but then I realized that wasnt healthy so I dont hookup with people like I use to, i kinda just keep to myself but am I just suppose to be alone forever? the only way i feel close to people is through sex and its not that its the only way “i feel loved” i just feel like its the only “connection” ill be able to get. the reason i say this is because I really believe that no one can ever truly love me, they can say it but dont mean it and thats not trauma from my past relationship ive thought that since i was in junior high. I just wonder if its all in my head but its also the reality I live with.... this was way longer than i intended, if you read it all thanks for listening &lt;3