Today was shit. Bad, bad day. I woke up at 6, and I was exhausted,  and also had a bad headache. I tried to nap this morning but couldn't, and around 9 I took ibuprofen.  I cleaned the living room, vacuumed, did the dishes &amp; put roast on for dinner.  But ALL.DAY. my head hurt, even after another ibuprofen. Just anxiety about this headache. It feels like someone is pulling my hair. I slept on that side all night so maybe that's why. Maybe I have a tumor and this is my only symptom. Idfk. I'm so sick of fucking anxiety controlling my life. I'm sick of looking forward to bedtime, I'm sick of waiting until my kid is asleep to take my Xanax because I feel guilty af for taking it during the day. I hate how no SSRIs touch my anxiety. I want to feel better. I'm mentally and physically drained so I don't work out which also fckin sucks. I'm just so tired and want to feel better. I've had like 3 panic attacks in the past week and I don't know why. Could it be my menstrual cycle? I'm not sure. Still adjusting to being off of BC but it hasn't been this bad the past months. Could it be caffeine in the chocolates I've been binge eating recently? Therapy?? I'm not sure but I don't fucking like this. DPDR is scaring the shit out of me even though I've dealt with it way worse. Its just been awhile since I've experienced it THIS BAD. I feel like I'm a stranger to myself. Like I'm in tune with everyone but myself. I keep thinking I'm going to just go crazy and that makes me feel even more anxious. 

Ughhhhhhhhh. Thanks if you've read this far. Appreciate any advice. I'm just having a rough night.