I have been married to my wife for about four years now. She recently left to stay in South America (we live in the US) with my daughter for 70 days. Leading up to this, we had been having a lot of problems within our relationship. We have a 7 month old child who she cares for primarily. I work and split custody of my 5 year old child. She has been out of work for over a year and we have an expensive lifestyle which adds stress. I behave well most of the time, but when I drink all bets are off. I've gotten very active in AA while she has been gone and have been addressing my emotional turmoil in a more healthy manner.

I'm at the point where I don't know if I love her anymore or if she loves me. I know she has the capacity to love me, but we are so distant and almost never talk at all. I have hurt her so much in the past and she says she forgives me. The last few times I've called her I've detected huge amounts of annoyance in her voice and she always abruptly ends the call and says she'll call me later. She then sends me a text right before she goes to bed saying goodnight.

I feel very neglected and confused by our relationship. Part of me wants to get a divorce because I'm so fed up with our inability to connect. Part of me wants us to work it out, but I'm bewildered because she doesn't even understand why I'm upset. She says I'm 'A guy who needs a lot of attention.' I'm a guy who needs a sense of comfort with his wife and I don't have it at all. Everyday we grow more distant. My thoughts are constantly occupied about how am I going to fix this situation. If I'm being honest, I don't miss her at all since she has been gone because our relationship has been so turbulent. It used to be good, but I don't know if we can ever achieve that again, I'm definitely willing to try but I don't feel like my efforts are returned.

Does anyone have any experience dealing with a similar situation or advice that may help me manage my actions and emotions? Thank you.