I’m going through so much and honestly if I wasn’t pregnant I probably would have attempted suicide by now. I got a DUI resulting in the harm of 2 people in May. (Yep, that’s 2 felony charges) I’ve been waiting for my trial and turned up pregnant in the middle of all of this. I don’t have my drivers license anymore and lost my favorite (most lucrative) job ever because of all of this. I don’t know why my husband stayed with me after I totaled the only thing we’ve ever had worth money, which was our car. Now all I do every day is lay in bed and think of how shitty a mother I’m going to be for even bringing a child into this world in the middle of all of this. It’s likely I’m going to spend years in prison and not even get to see my baby grow up in the first few years of their life. I don’t have a job and I can’t seem to get one because a. I can’t pass a background check and b. I don’t have transportation. Ever since I turned 21 it’s been all downhill from there, dropped out of college, got diagnosed bipolar &amp; BPD, quit multiple jobs because I just couldn’t even pull myself out of bed to go to work... and now fast forward to this year 23, apparently an alcoholic (I’ve quit since I found out I was expecting) pregnant and looking at prison time. Oh even better all of my “friends” that I thought would be in my life forever have dropped off the earth. My new psychiatrist took me off abilify because it’s not safe for the baby (which is fine) but I don’t really see a light at the end of this tunnel. My new psychiatrist also told me I’m not bipolar and never have been which really doesn’t make sense to me.
When will it end :( I really wish i hadn’t gotten pregnant so I could just kill myself and make everyone’s lives easier. 