I went to the city to visit my older sister and i came back, i was scared and confused. Not only is this the first time i visited her (so all our activities was meshed into one day) but she ended up cramming revealing stuff too.

My older sister is 26. She’s is living and working in the city, has money in the bank, and however, has the bad rep of being the “rebllious/took the American lifestyle” kid (we werent born here): She moved out (which is not typical for asian kids), she’s gotten tattoos without telling our parents (she says she did but idk), she’s slept over her (now ex) boyfriend’s house, and up until this visit, she’s told me she has a sex toy, has weed brownies and is gay.

While all of these are pretty standard for someone who is literally an adult (and me not liking some of those things is something i’ll get over), my main concern is our parents. Our parents who are, for the most part, strict, very traditional asian parents. And i have this bad history of not being able to keep secrets from my mom because i get guilty very easily. Why that is, is because my mom in the past has also guilt-tripped me numerous occasions to get the attention on her/to cater to what she wants, which turned me into a people-pleasing type of person.

I love both my parents and my sister. For some reason, I felt kinda sick/anxious/fearful knowing all these things and now having to hide them from our family. Idk why i’m so scared. Maybe it’s because I know something they don’t? Maybe because I know that when some of these things are revealed to everyone (mainly her being gay), there might be a bad reaction and an awful air that will be at home? And I, who still lives with our parents, will have to suffer through it while my older sister won’t? 

I know these arent my problems, that I should continue with my life. I know that whether or not my sister decides to reveal these things is her prerogative. And that if my parents get mad for it, that I shouldn’t care. But i do. I haven’t even looked at my mom in the eye today or eaten. I’m scared my mom is gonna ask me what’s up and I’ll crumble on the floor. What can I do?

TL;DR my sister confided in me many things our parents would disapprove of and i’m now anxious