Hello, 

I feel I should start that I'm currently on a course of medication which one of the side effects is an increase in anxiety so I think that might be the main reason for my vent, but I will talk about what's on my mind as I find writing it down helps me sleep. 

So I (29m) have been talking off and on with a friend of mine (33f) over the last couple of years (I should point out that we've known each other for about 5/6 years) and last year I suggested lets meet up again to which she agreed. We were hoping to meet in July but I had a family thing come up and she's been working towards her doctorate. I've given her some dates for November but I'm nervous she'll cancel and I'll never meet her again. 

I'm on my own a lot of the time and yes, there are people I know who live nearby but if I suggest hanging out they say they'll get back to me when they're free but never do. I have met my aforementioned friend before and had no doubts that I would meet her then but now I'm worried I won't. 

I'm probably worrying over nothing as her and I get on really well - we sometimes talk via skype and when we do we usually stay up till 2/3am, talking utter nonsense and making each other laugh. She means a lot to me and I'm worried I'm going to lose her again.

I say lose her again because there was about a year or so where we didn't talk because she felt that the relationship wasn't go anywhere. I did try to keep the friendship going but for some reason I stopped trying to communicate with her. After about a year though, she messaged me out of the blue much to my surprise. I think she does like me, she's just unsure how to say it to me. Or I might be completely overthinking that and getting my hopes up. I don't want to ruin my friendship with her but I feel my anxiety will get in the way. She knows I'm anxious about meeting and she told me not to worry as we'll meet up and have fun together. She also said 'confidence is sexy' which is the first time she ever said that to me which caught me off guard. 

&amp;#x200B;

I will probably edit this if I feel I need to update this (its currently 1 in the morning and I have no idea if what I've written makes sense). Not too concerned if anyone's read this, I just needed to vent. If you have read this, thank you and I hope I made sense