my last two fps over the span of a year have not been my bf but his two best friends. I'm not doing this on purpose to spite him and idk what's wrong with me. him and I have been dating for 1 year and 8 months and he's only been my fp once over a year ago. I feel so bad for continuously putting him in these situations and I wish he hated me for it but he's so understanding which makes me want to kill myself. he deserves better than me and I've tried to tell him but he won't listen.