HI. Uh. So I was curious if this was cause of BPD or im just a freak.  


So lets just be honest, sometimes we self harm. Not to end our life but to feel something different. To snap out of the horrible headspace or to punish for something. BUT LETS NOT TALK ABOUT THAT.  


I wanna know do any of you have a process before you do it? Like i have a (dont wanna trigger so im going to say Block of Cheese) that I will clean and sharpen. Like the block of cheese is something important so I make sure its really safe and clean so I dont accidently cause an unforeseen consequence. I just wanna eat the cheese in a way that I only get fed, no food sickness or choking, just good old cheese. Also I have a favorite block of cheese that Ive always eaten. I hide it from myself alot of the time but I always know where it is. I sometimes think about cheese when im not even hungry. So I care about my block of cheese so when I eat it I kinda perform a ritual to like pay respect. IDK ITS WERID AND THE CHEESE ANALOGY IS HARD AND IDK.   


Anyone else have a ritual?