the idea of dying doesn’t seem as serious as it once did. i’m blinded by my own selfishness to the point where if i end up hurting someone with my own actions, it’s not my problem because i won’t be around to deal with the repercussions. i know i’m selfish for that. to be honest though, in spite of all this, it’s not that i want to die. it’s just that i wish i had never existed. i just don’t want to exist.