Because I'm certain that once they find out about my illness (I have an anxiety disorder and clinical depression) that they will want nothing to do with me or worse, that they will use it to manipulate me.

This has been a major issue for me for years. I had an ex for example that ended texts with "..." because she knew as a writer I would agonize over whatever wasn't be said. And recently, I reconnected with a friend who is quite busy and also suffers from her own diagnosis. We made plans, she forgot and doublebooked, I had a minor attack, wherein I left like , 3 messages asking where she was and 3 apologizing for too many messages. And I haven't heard a word since.

I know that my brain is being stupid and they are likely just busy. But it's grown hard to selfregulate and self care as the pandemic has progressed. I'm terrified that this friend whom I was very much looking forward to reconnecting, now wants nothing to do with me because of my anxiety. She is aware I have this disorder and I am getting treatment for it, if it matters.

My only real support in the last year and a half has been my brother. But they spend most of our time together trying to "fix" me. So here I am. How do you handle these fears?