Hello,  
I need to say what I feel and really don't have anyone to talk to, so I decided to make this post.

It all started two years ago, I went through a really bad situation, I was raped by a guy I didn't know. This of course changed many things in my life. It ended the relationship I was in, it was hard for me cause I really thought this guy was the one for me. He wasn't... It also hurt the relationship I had with my mom because her first reaction to what happened to me was saying "These things never happen" Can you believe it?? then she got angry at me and said that it was MY fault because according to her I knew this guy. 

Now I did go to the police, but they completely ignored everything about this guy and asked questions about me, what was I wearing? if I talked to this guy first? things like that. It makes me so angry!

I have talked to myself a lot saying it was not my fault, but sometimes I think it was.

So that happened two years almost 3 years ago. And recently I have been having paranoia. I am sure I saw someone standing in front of my office and this person looked a lot like that guy who did it. I got scared, closed the office and went to a friend's house. 

I feel like I have too many things on my mind. But it is really just that. I am scared, I haven't healed from what happened. I feel lonely, and I am afraid to be alone.

Honestly, I haven't been going to work anymore, I just asked to work from home. 

When I try to talk to my mom about it she just gets angry and starts yelling at me. So now I avoid talking about it. 

It's been too long since it all happened but still, I feel awful.