First time on this sub but I just need someone to talk to. 
Feeling like no matter what I do in any given day it’s the same empty meaningless bullshit at the end of it when I’m alone in my bed. I’m always depressed but have a hard fucking time getting help because I’m awful at communicating my actual feelings. Everytime I start to talk about how I actually feel like dying most of the time, I play it off as a joke and leave no one knowing how I feel but myself. Anyways I’ve been keeping myself up every night playing through stupid fucking loops and looking for someone to talk to until I give up. Just sick of not feeling satisfied with any of my connections and I would love to talk to someone wnd will offer my support in return