I hate having all my emotions be so extreme. Oh I spilled a cup of water. Guess I'll break the cup itself bcos anger. Oh I feel horny guess ill just hookup with some random stranger that i dont even like and cry about it later cause i feel like such a fking useless slut. Oh  friends left me bcos im too fking emotional guess ill just burn and cut myself bcos why not right. Oh everything is going fine well guess it is time to overthink it and overanalyze it till everything is not fine bcos fk me thats why. It's to the point where I don't even want to make friends anymore. Like when I'm happy I'm the best friend to have around but when I'm not in a good mood. I'm the worst fking friend. But I feel the worst part about it all is how self aware I am. When my emotion isnt part of the equation. I am very fking rational and make good decisions but the moment any emotion comes into play all my rationality just flies out window and I do dumb shit. But after the emotion is gone. I just look back at what ive done and feel like shit. How do some of yall live with this shit. I feel like killing myself every other day