I recently moved across the country. I have no friends/family here, just my job.

I have overwhelming feelings of guilt surrounding friendships that hit me in waves throughout the day. It's like being away from all of my friends and stepping into a friend-less isolation, I have found an inexplicable feeling that I've never felt before. For example, I'll think of a falling out I had last summer and I just feel so awful about it. But it's not limited in time...I have thoughts about being mean to people in the second grade. Has isolation from relationships ever done this to anyone else? I feel so alone and friend-less. I feel like I am such a narrsisitc mean person and no one likes me... I feel like I am toxic. :( I've tried to make friends here but I feel like all I end up doing is spreading negativity and sucking up other peoples energy. Is this anxiety...? Am I just growing as a person? I feel more like I am receding. 

Help?