I get way too attached way too quick, and then I’m disappointed when I’m not met with the same energy? I crave a guy who will look at me and smile at the sight of my face. I want him to be respectful and make his friends have a little respect for me too. I know I won’t get this from a “friend” that decides to fuck me one night in his dorm at a party. That was honestly the most idiotic expectation I could ever have conjured. Why do I keep putting myself through this? Just to wake up the next morning (if I even stay that long) and walk away in the worst mood possible. I can’t keep doing this, I want a normal life where I can go out with friends and have a good time like the young and pretty female I am. Yet I always somehow end up as a sex object. Someone’s play thing for the night and it’s usually the ones close to me??? It’s never really been a random hookup it’s always been with the main person of the group that I let myself succumb to. I think it’s going to have them accept me even more and I’ll really be a part of the group then. Hell no, I end up being pulled away from the social fun and stuck in a room with someone I did not intend to do anything like this with. I wanted to party, I want to have at least 1 drink. I wanted to be around people my age and just be a little carefree and spirited. This is ridiculous. I just want to be social and accepted without the sex, so I say, and then my actions speak otherwise. 