I just need to vent a minute...I have had anxiety for over 30 years and am on meds and have done some therapy over the years.  It is fairly under control most of the time but traveling and social events are huge triggers for me.  My oldest daughter is getting married this weekend and I am struggling to say the least.  I have missed out on things before because I have just felt so sick and I just don't want to miss out or cause a scene or inconvenience anyone.  I'm just super frustrated with the fact that I have had this for so long and it is still so debilitating....I feel like a failure that I can't get better. And then I feel like a whiner when I say things like that.  I just wish I knew how to just enjoy life instead of being so anxious all the time.  I just needed to get this out...I feel like my friends and family get sick of hearing about it and that they just want me to get better and I don't know how.  I know the anticipation is the worst of it and that on Saturday things will probably be fine.... but I just have to go through all the worst case scenarios and make myself sick for some reason.  I have 5 little grandkids and I'm not the fun grandma I want to be because most of my energy goes to just trying to deal with being anxious. Sorry this is long.... just needed to get some of it out.