I've always been the absolute worst when it comes to imagining end of the world scenarios for myself, but it has come to a head in the last six months. I was recently locked out of my room and had to call an agent to come to the property to open it for me. Because I was locked out, I had not slept in well over twenty four hours and was feeling like absolute shit. Anyway, the agent calls me up and I begin asking him how much all of this will cost me and whether or not I can add it to next months rent. Now, because I was so tired, I'm pretty sure my manners ended up slipping a bit. I didn't really have a go at him or insult him or anything, but I ended up not really thanking him for agreeing to move it.

As the keys were on the way to me, he texts me saying that "saying please or thank you when I'm doing you a favour would be nice." I'm not going to dispute this situation because looking back over the texts I was clearly rude. I apologised profusely both in text and in person and he said thank you and seemed all good with it.

Here's the thing. I now use this as a means to catastrophise. I should be happy to be able to sleep now and yet I'm sitting awake in bed wondering what's going to happen next. Is he resentful of me? Will he share screenshots of my rudeness with his family? On social media? I even went as far to think that he would publicly post my rudeness to ruin me. Get me kicked out of university and maybe even a job in the future. I am fully aware of how batshit insane this is and yet I cannot help but fixate upon this as if this is gospel. This is a pattern I've followed for years and I am at my wits end. I usually get over it before the next one comes along but I would love to hear your advice on all of this. How should I deal with it? I can't afford therapy.

Please and thank you.