It’s been 8 years since my grandma passed away... she died on Christmas Eve... I was only 13 at the time and it’s still hard to get over. Every Christmas was perfect for me growing up. And after that, everything went crashing down.. the years passed and all the holidays felt empty and sad... even now that I’m 21 I’m still dealing with the depression from it. This year I got a cold.. and had to call off work.. my damn manager wants me to come in but I can’t serve food if I keep on coughing and loosing my voice.. I’m so down right now and all day today my boyfriend tried his best to make me feel safe and loved and spent the whole day with me... he even gave me a promise ring... I love him so damn much that BPD gets so much in the way and my mentality... too... anyways merry Christmas y’all. 