Almost every day I get told that I'm not even trying. I'm struggling through work when my entire being is screaming at me to just leave. Minutes feel like hours. I breathe manually.

None of it is good enough. When I try to explain, I'm being manipulative, giving excuses. It just makes everything worse, so I then I don't explain, now I'm an asshole.

I wonder what would happen if I just didn't try anymore, because trying seems like it gets me just as far as not trying anyways.

Living just seems like dying with extra steps.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.