So it's been a wild ride since march 2020. I had two hospital visits and just a lot of intense emotions - crying everyday, lashing out, using drugs. But I gradually got the help I needed. 

I don't want to make this a long post but I have had 3 months of stability. I think some of that comes from being on lexapro, my DBT therapist, and watching videos about self esteem which aids me in recognizing toxic behavior and knowing my worth. 

I have hope that things will get better. I will be able to manage my emotions, esp fear of abandonment. I am so grateful for my treatment.