So, I’m falling in love with a man who has been showing me love and support. Thing is, I guess I’m already in a relationship with a man who doesn’t love me? (He says that) but then says that he loves me, all it’s confusing in that relationship.

A bit of background: I was living in Sweden two months ago, had to leave due to visa stuff, so now I’m applying to move back but it takes a huge long while. While being there I lived with a Swedish guy with whom I fell in love hard, like, this man was my life, but it wasn’t good for me, BPD worsen due to his unfaithfulness, we used to argue a lot, there was 0 trust because he cheated on me talking to a ton of girl but he would justify that with filling up his own void and so on.. I was happy because I was in love, and because in the end, he is a good guy and we really could have good times, but there never was the main thing, love, he never loved me back (he says it himself) but yet said that he loved me, so everything is confusing and as you guys know, confusion makes BPD worse. And since we are away, we barely talk anymore and he prefers to play with his friends all the time his not at his work rather than maybe I don’t know, calling me and so on.. I’m definitely not happy there anymore. 

Thing is, I met a new guy two weeks ago and my attachment issues and so little love that I was given by the other relationship are kicking my butt. I’m falling in love, I love it, but.. I feel guilty, kind of feels like I’m still in love with my Swedish guy but anyway I know there is nothing for me there unfortunately.. It hurts me to the point of crying because I think about all the scenarios that could happen if Swedish guy only loved me back. But on the other hand I have a super special guy being nice to me and loving me in a way no one has ever loved me before, but again, I feel guilty. 

What do you guys would do in my shoes? I’m losing it because of that..