It's so bad that I don't know what to think. It's become so intolerable to stay that i literally feel like no one can help me..no one cares..no one would even reach out to me or try to understand. Andninwant to be unavailible for people for a while. Because as much as support them I don't get the same support back..dude I just wanr to leave this place. It's fine..it's been years since I have gone in patient. And it will really give my family and friends a break from .me. as fucked up as it aounds it's the truth. I feel like the world needs a break from me, at least my world. What should I do, 51/50 myself at a park or something, drive to the hospital myself. I just know I have to go inpatient. It's fucking time. I NEED TO GO. Back. I am just done with living this normal life bullshit. I need to go back.