TW: self harm, disordered eating, me on stage In really short shorts

I went on stage looking like an Adonis with self harm scars covered in fake tan! After struggling with eating three meals a day and regularly going 72 hours without eating I trained hardcore for 3 months to look amazing on stage!!! All of my friends were so proud of me and I never felt like more of a rockstar in my life.

Unfortunately despite the fact that this is the hardest I worked towards anything I didn’t manage to place in the top 5 which was so disheartening for the first three days but to see so many people congratulate me and be proud of me was so worth it.

[me with an edited out face because I’m scared](https://imgur.com/a/rNL7Cb9/)

https://i.imgur.com/br9WWL6.jpg

I’ll probably upload my actual face in an edit but for now that’s my progress. I can’t believe I went from someone who didn’t eat and was underweight to this. I’m thankful for a good support network but I still have so much work to do, I still regularly feel so intense and depressed.