Hello guys and gals,

I (F19) am studying chemistry in The Netherlands. I'm already halfway my 3rd year (4 years in total) and I'm now an intern for one and a half years.

I already went to the internship for a few weeks. But I'm starting to see that full-time work (8,5 hours a day, 4 days in a week) is too stressful for me.

I'm dealing with loads of mental issues. Depression, anxiety, autism,...
And after just a few hours of working I'm already exhausted. I also feel anxious when I'm anywhere but home.
I'm extremely tired during the day too, even when I sleep quite alright at night.

I live in a home for people with autism and most of my housemates aren't able to work due to mental issues. Veeeery similar to mine.
And so I'm surrounded with people like me now. And I'm starting to see that it's quite a common issue that autistic people have trouble with work. Some of my housemates will never work at all (again) in their lives.

My internship pushes me to be present at the given times.
They say that eventually I'll get used to the hours, even if that takes a long time.
And that they also find it difficult working such long hours, but they still do it. So I should be able to do it too.

I have no idea what I should do now. If I'd quit my internship, I won't get a degree from my school and I'll have to pay back much money to the authorities.
But if I keep going, it'll exhaust me to an extent that I won't be able to handle myself anymore.

Please help! Should I stop with my future dreams and just go live my best life for myself, or should I push myself to my dreams with the risk of total self-destruction?

I really need some advice.