Does anyone else just feel hopeless trying to grip onto the past and reach for the future at the same time. Like i know i should remove people from my life but i miss them so much that i get anxiety just thinking of them, i'm always trying to keep my mind distracted so it doesn't wander to think of them. Unfortunately i've always been able to split my attention between multiple things at the same time, good for work and school bad for when you are trying to move on and not analyse yourself. 

It's worse when i drink, so much so that i have pretty much went tea total not because of being an alcoholic but cause im afraid that i will always try to reach out to the people who don't want me anymore.

Im my head i know that i have to just remove them but it's so had and finite that it scares me.

I have done nothing for the past few days other than cry and hope for a silver lining.