I'm 25 years old, I was supposed to graduate at the end of this year from Computer Engineering college but I'll take at least 2+ years because of failed classes to graduate if I pass everything from now on (most of them are electrical stuff, I'm studying Alternate Current and I'm not understanding anything at all).

The problem is, I'm suffering really bad from depression and anxiety (I spent 2 years studying online because of covid but this year it's back to being presential and my anxiety got way worse). I get so scared and frustrated of not being able to understand the lessons that I can't concentrate at all and don't understand anything that my teacher says. I'm suffering with a really slow thinking and I'm forgetting all the stuff I read in a few minutes. I feel like I forgot everything I've learned all these years. I want to drop out so bad from college but I know my life is going to be horrible if I do that since I live in a third world country. 

I just feel so dumb and I'll probably fail this class again, dooming my chances of graduation. I just can't take it anymore, I want to die so bad, I'm sick of this living hell every day. I don't have any friends at college anymore and I can't get help from anyone... I lost my will to live years ago, the only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because I'm a coward, I'm scared of the pain and I don't have access to guns or anything that makes me die a peaceful death. I'm going insane, please help...