Anxiety is a pain in the ass. 

I've been through a lot of trauma due to my past relationships w ex's and friends. I feel like because of the way I think and am as a person I'm prone to anxiety more. I care too much and make sure everyone around me is ok even when Im not. I overthink, especially when my boyfriend doesn't text me back or is ignoring me, i get anxiety. I get anxiety talking otp, going into stores, literally talking to my friends. MY FRIENDS! I always ask questions bc i overthink every action i do just so that I dont screw up and do or say soemthing that would make the surroundings around me uncomfortable. I feel guilty for everything even if its an accident. I mean it's even harder now at my age and during this pandemic. I'm a very loving and caring person, im very clingy bc i just want to love someone, now i feel as tho my actions arent wanted and many people find it unattractive. Today, love is toxic and its very hard to trust someone, so there goes my anxiety again. I put too much of myself out bc that's me as a person and bc of that I have to deal w anxiety, and no one cares. no one can understand what anxiety can do to someone. I literally cry every time i get anxious, my breathing slows down but my heart races, i get cold sweats. literally the worst, and when ur having a moment and someone doesn't respect that, it makes everyone 10x worse bc then you start feeling alone. u being to have negative thoughts. 

this pandemic has caused my anxiety to become the worst ive ever experienced. im scared to talk to ppl i used to talk to 3 months ago, everything is so antisocial and im a very social person. I dont know, i felt like ranting but however is going through the same thing you are not alone. I am here if anyone wants to talk, I love to chat. 

Im sorry if anyone is dealing w this, we'll get through this. It's all about growth :)