For the longest time I've had trouble looking in the mirror. I kind of got used to it by now but I used to be so disturbed by seeing my reflection, because every time I just panic and think, that's not me, why am I seeing that in the mirror? It's still been like that, but I've gotten used to the fear and just get kind of bothered but that's it. And this time I've gotten a haircut that reminds me of a person I want to avoid being the most, a part of me I keep wanting to leave behind, but I don't know if I have or not. I hate it so much. I didn't even want to get a haircut and I definitely did not want to get it this way. I don't care if people think I look good or bad, it won't even make me feel better if anyone likes it, I just want them to see me a certain way, and that is to not really see me at all. Not exactly but I don't know how else to describe it. I want to look like myself, someone that no one would look at. And the most important thing is that I don't like it. It's objectively not a terrible haircut, but I myself don't like it, so it doesn't matter how many people try to comfort me. It is definitely not me in the mirror, I can't accept it. I'd never be comfortable with my reflection but this is just so much worse now. This time I've gone so many steps backwards. I always feel like I'm running out of time already, now it feels like I'm wasting more time. I'm just rambling at this point, and it really is so stupid to feel this way, it's just a bad haircut and most people have those at least once, but this feeling is so extreme and out of my control and I hate it. I am so sick of feeling this way, I fucking cried looking in the mirror, it's so stupid. I barely ever feel so emotional about anything but when I do, it comes very strong. I hate this fucking mirror and I hate the person it shows me. Otherwise I wouldn't care so much about something so stupid. I doubt anyone can even comfort me, if I don't let myself feel better, so what is the point? I just need to yell into the void a little bit. I think this is just the breaking point of a lot of things piling on. Sorry if this kind of post doesn't belong here.