I am working this temporary gig at a Home Depot.  It's overnight and by the morning after about 7 hours no break, no food, no cannabis, I start getting agitated.  The employees in the morning notice.  One manager said I don't need to be defensive (long story but I had to wait an extra hour for a signature because of things not related to me). The stress of sometimes 16 or 20 hour shifts on a literal last second gig becomes a problem and my man child ass has what my friend calls an Attitude Shift.

My boss, a 3rd party company that hired me for this temp gig, said he is going to transfer me to a different store before this store asks me to be fired.  I think the people know I'm a little different and the mostly lack of sleep for nearly two weeks doesn't help.

I just started to feel comfortable at this store even if only two more days to go.  Was going to take out a couple of the women who work there for drinks.

Now, even though I know it's fine and not a big deal, the negative self won't turn off.  Guy or not, I think I will have tears later.  I am happy my direct boss is willing to keep me on and switch me to stores more my skill set than this gig.

But the self negative attitude of being worthless is there, and I can't turn it off.  I'm not a bitchy moaning mood right now.  I'm just feeling the same negative feeling that always happens with negative emotions.  They don't turn off.

Is there no way to stop the faucet of pain these states without falling asleep or taking drugs I probably don't want to take?  Cannabis keeps me from becoming psychotic, but I can't just smoke nonstop all day.