almost a month ago i tried to kill myself but my ex saved my life.... honestly wish he wouldn’t have. he says he broke up with me right before but i recall it happening after i did it. he was my favorite person and i went to him for everything. so now that something bad happens i think of him it just makes it worse. i cant get him out of my fucking head the thought of him makes me want to die.... he abandoned me at one of the worse times in my life and it just made everything 10x worse. he’s said some pretty fucked up stuff to me after i got back from the psych ward i can’t handle it. i know i should cut off contact he has blocked me on pretty much everything so i guess it doesn’t matter. but in the end i’m still going to think about how he left me and how our whole relationship felt like a lie i truly thought cared about me. now i just feel like i’m too much to handle and i’ll never be cared for. i just can’t do this much longer and thinking about ending it all tonight.