I feel like I'm losing, if not already lost, my fight. I don't care about anything. I am going through the motions. I haven't exercised or done any rehab stuff for the betterment of my physical health, I haven't showered in a week and can't seem to even do that. I want to give up eating entirely. I don't want to be present, and not interested in being engaged with anything. I'm supposed to apply for and start uni in a couple of months, and maybe I'm going through with that because something has to change, logically, for some mental change perhaps, but I'm thinking how pointless it is, I'm not interested. I'm so numb, so empty that it's like it's all going through me. This experience of life. I'm a ghost. 

Fuck me. How do you guys manage?