It actually would make people take it more seriously I feel like. 

Nobody would make sly remarks on the constant because I'll take two years longer to finish college. Nobody would say if I wasn't so damn lazy and actually studied I could be somewhere great now. Nobody would say if I just got off my ass my parents wouldn't have to pay for me anymore like a spoiled brat. 

The can't even see that everything they throw at me I've told myself at least 100 times already that very day. They don't stop to think "why is she miserable? Why can't she get out of bed? Why does she keep showing up with weird scratches on her forearms?" 

Every time I feel like I'm recovering someone makes a joke like that and I feel like I'm falling back down a deep, dark hole again. Every time they imply I'll never make it the pills on my nightstand start to look more attractive. At this point I'd rather be dead than a failure, but I don't even have the balls to go through with that. 

It's some bullshit really.