I need to admit myself back into the hospital because I'm at a high risk of suicide and I've started to self harm again hoping that it would ease the urge to kill myself. And my alcohol addiction has gotten worse and I dont think I could handle going that long without alcohol. I hurt my family when I went to hospital after my attempt and I'm worried about hurting them again if I go back in or if I have another attempt, hoping it would be successful this time. It's so cold and lonely in there and it makes me feel worse about myself but I know that I have to go in so I dont do what I want to do. Idk I'd just wish that a friend could go in with me. It's so horrible being in there but I dont know any other way to keep myself safe from myself. I just want this life to end and I'm sick of feeling like this. And also I feel guilty about how poor my last attempt was like im ashamed at how bad it was😂😂 idk, sorry I just needed to vent