how is everyone so damn happy? i have been struggling with depression for most of the time since late 2020 and everytime i think it gets better it gets worse and it has not changed. ive asked my best friend if he has any problems and he said no, and were very close, i dont see why he would try to hide anything from me, also, im a man and because of that if i try and express my feelings i will be called a pussy. everyone just seems so happy. in my class, in my family, everywhere. im also ugly asf and know ill never get a gf or anything like that. i feel like i live on spectator mode, things never happen with me involved and if they do they always break down and fail. im not good at basically anything, i guess im ok at handball but thats about it. i dont understand what i did so wrong, dont understand why i deserve this, im not the best person but im pretty friendly and kind to other, atleast i guess. also im very patient. my best friend is the only one who talks to me at school. ive also been also texting my crush every once in a while but i think she responds only because she is trying to be nice. also her boyfriend told me to stop..... i just wanted to vent btw, i have no motivation in life to do anything anyways but i guess ill like if anyone actually responded to this.