I just found this subreddit and feel both horrible and vindicated that there are other people who suffer from the same thing as me. I send love to everyone reading this. Does anybody else go to the bathroom when you’re hanging out with people or with family to cry over the shit that they don’t understand why you’re upset about? And then have to go back and laugh and put on a happy face because if you admit you just had an episode they’d think you’re just going backward and your episodes affect everyone so detrimentally that you have to cry silently alone? It hurts so much. I hate this. I hate my brain being so broken and not letting me feel things normally. I’m sick of it ruining my relationships. I’m sick of forgetting things and having people frustrated for not remembering and I’m sick of feeling so horrible all the time i just want to be happy but I literally fucking cannot my brain will not let me I’m not going to bore you with my regular suicidal thoughts but i just needed to vent. Thank you guys