Trigger warning abuse self harm abandonment sexual abuse and foul language. 


I literally fell for the biggest bullshit lie in the world… that you ever loved me. I have no family I have no friends and only had you at the end of it all. I left everything to start a future with you. You dumped me at the starting line. The day we moved in you didn’t come home that night. I knew then I had made a mistake but I didn’t see the gravity of the situation. Not till I met your fuckbuddy. You waited till after you introduced us to tell me he had no clue we were together and OPEN and that was the real reason you didn’t want to kiss me goodbye. You literally are ashamed to be with me. I never meant anything to anyone. I never meant anything to you. You chased “him” instead and dragged me here for what? You took me away from everything with false hope…I want my life back. I’m living in a shared room space for one. Sleeping in the same bed night after night with someone who literally would rather tell a lie or manipulate someone with sex to get their way rather than sit in the uncomfortable truth. You literally told men you were single while engaged to me to get sex. Whether we were open or not- you find rules to break in an open poly relationship the problem is clearly you. You dumped me for something “easy” cause I was too difficult. I sleep night after night reminded that my existence is a burden to you and all I’m good for is a discount on bills and a human sextoy. Even while talking to these people in between you throw yourself at me when you can’t find someone to fill that void. Filling your ass with dick wont fix the void inside yourself. You have no heart or soul and it’s true, because if you did you would see how fucked up you truly are. How cruel and sadistic and twisted you are. You have no right to talk about your abusive ex that YOU LEFT ME FOR when you’re acting WORSE THAN HIM. You did the things you swore you never would. Abandon me, and financially destroy me, and telling me to kill myself. You don’t tell people that you love to hurry up and kill themselves so you don’t have to listen to them sobbing anymore. Now I’m stuck here with no one no help and her dragging her male suitors in and out of my bedroom trying to fuck them in the floor cause she thinks I’m asleep. A different man night after night week after week. My safe space has been violated more times than I can count. My heart has been trampled more times than I can count. You are human fucking filth. He was right about that part. You truly are after what you did to me. And you chose him instead of the one who stuck by you this whole time. But now I see it. You are human fucking filth. You aren’t even worthy of being called human, being human means having empathy which you physically are incapable. Now you’re off to the next person to couch surf from since he lives in philly, looks just like your ex too and that’s gross. I may be the worst person in the world but nothing tops what you did. You gave a very sick and broken person hope…just to take it from them. I never knew you were capable of such cruelty. At the end of it all I held you’re hand through your divorce. Held you while you sobbed through your family abusing you and then HIM abusing you. Then telling me our relationship was a lie from the start after removing me from everything I knew…You dumped me and immediately went to him. You didn’t shed a single tear for throwing the future we built down the toilet. So the ring you put on my hand meant nothing after all? You couldn’t even be sad you were so hyper fixated on getting HIM back that you literally destroyed someone else’s life to get what you wanted. You still cry night after night over him and you weren’t building a life with him. You cried for your divorce and for him but I don’t matter at all…Please leave. You’ve done enough damage and don’t you dare say you loved Me. You never did. I just wanted someone to love me the way I loved them. Im broken and no one is going to save me so please leave. And by the way when I do off myself eventually you are not allowed to speak my name. You are not allowed to show up to my funeral because you do not get to pretend you ever cared. Especially when you are the the final reason I gave up sticking around. You knew I was fragile and you broke me anyway. I can’t sleep I annoy eat and I literally think I have diverticulitis from the stress. Everything hurts. I never longed for something more in my life than for life to stop.