19M.I’m sorry if this triggers anyone, but I want to get this out of the way already. I want to know how to accept my own mortality. Just to clarify I’m NOT dying, at least I hope not but thats just me being a hypochondriac. I’ve been having health related issues for months. For a month, I tried to ignore it  so I wouldn’t have to think about it. Also, I thought ignoring it was better within my family due to the constant dead ends in finding what’s wrong with me. I keep having these growing thoughts of impending doom. With the pandemic and the fear of terminal illnesses, I’ve been having a hard time accepting my own mortality. I keep thinking about how I’m not ready. Cursing myself for wasting the time I had alive. Time I could’ve spent living with purpose instead of by habit. Time I could’ve spent finding out my strengths and weaknesses. More time laughing instead of suffering in silence. The fact that my life amounts to shit. The uncertainty of what comes after death. I can’t run from it. I feel it would be better if I learned how to accept it, so I can transition into it without kicking and screaming.