Generalized Anxiety Disorder right here and PTSD. So last year my mom died last year(July 1st), I witnessed everything and had to be the one to call my Dad. It’s been a rough year and he’s had a rough go. It’s been a stressful week, but I’ve been keeping myself preoccupied so I don’t fly off the edge. I’ve been trying to call my Dad last night and he hasn’t answered. Left two messages. He can be oblivious and forget to check the caller ID and I know he’s upset still about my mom and maybe he just doesn’t want to talk. But my head is going to a very dark place. My grandfather lasted just a year and a half after my grandmother died - so I’m kinda freaking out. I’m going to head over later if I don’t hear anything. 

I’m shaking on my couch, trying not to overeat and thinking of every worst case scenario and how I’m going to handle it all and this fool probably just doesn’t want to talk and not thinking about his actions affects everyone else. 

I’m just acting stupid and it’s probably fine. But the whole what if thing keeps popping in my head and I know I should go clean or do something to take my mind off it, but it’s hard.