can anyone else relate? has anyone turned into a horrible person and found themselves again? 

i feel like i used to me a much more kind, loving, accepting, and understanding person. i had my dark side that would come through here and there but now that i’m almost 30 it feels like that dark side has completely taken over. it’s who i am now. i feel like an evil horrid terrible person. i’m filled with so much anger and hate and pure rage against everyone and everything. 

I can’t stand being around people. even friends now. im constantly judging them and taking things personally and taking them the wrong way. i internalize things that aren’t meant to be internalized then decide the person is a piece of shit and i want nothing to do with them anymore. 

but i guess most of all i hate myself. i hate myself so much. i want nothing good to ever happen to me. i deserve nothing but anger and pain. i have been so tired of myself and being alive. much more so than usual. 

like wtf. what happened to me? i can’t fucking stand myself. i can barely look in a mirror.