I don't care about my life anymore. I'll just take drugs and be alone, then eventually kill myself and that's fine, I can't imagine life being any different. I don't think I've spoken to anyone how deplorable my life is, nor can I tell whether anyone is aware of how lonely and miserable I am. Either answer is just as depressing anyway so I'm trying to stop questioning it. Being alone my whole life, I guess it's finally registered that this is my life and not to expect people to care about someone so misanthropic. I know 20 is still young, but god does it feel so much longer. I feel like I've gone insane. I can quite honestly say that no one cares about me - certainly don't love me either - without feeling dread, or a pang of remorse. No one will love me and that makes sense to me. I really am just lonely. My life means so little to anyone I'd be proud to kill myself. I think I've really lost my mind. I've despaired endlessly over not being known for so long that it's such a relief to finally forget myself and give up meaning anything to anyone. I am pathetic and I've stopped feeling guilty for that. I am such scum. I wish I could know something outside myself, or have someone show me what it means to not be lonely. My only characteristic is that I am lonely. What use is life without people? I am of no use to myself. I should be required to end my life. It feels like there's been a kind of conspiracy to get me to kill myself for years or possibly my whole life. I can't think. I want something. There is no connection to anything I've been disconnected from everything. How do i exist wy must i be so alone and exist i want someone to know me before i am nothing. im afraid i wont be able to kill myself when i relinquish myself to complete meaninglessness. i want someone or to be shot in the head no inbetween i cannot live much longer feeling and doing nothing what am i. I'm so sick i havent spoken to anyone about my life ever i might lose my mind if i cant feel anything soon. i forgot what i was here for idk i need to end it i might just collapse the isolation is too muchi want to be something that isnt so easy to neglect help post post i need someone to tell me im real i want a life so bad and no one sees that how can things get so bad without anyone caring i dont care anymore pls just make it stop i dont care if this makes me look crazy being seen is enough despise me if you want id prefer being hated than invisible why cant i kill mysefl nothing makes any sense i wish someone loved me, that is probably the only thing idk what am i talking about im a mess sorry