I wasn't feeling well tonight, just getting out of the occasional depressive episode, and I contacted my best friend to tell him what's going on, something I do very rarely b/c I don't like talking about those things very often. When he told me he will always be there for me, and loves and cares for me, over the phone and text or in real life, I feel like he's lying and doesn't really mean it. He has no reason to lie and I don't truly believe he is, and I appreciate that he feels that way, but it just feels/sounds fake or forced for some reason. I haven't told him this and would never, because I really do know he's not lying, I think I just subconsciously feel he is. I don't know why this is. He has never betrayed my trust or not been there for me over the years we've been friends. 

I currently am not in DBT or CBT b/c of insurance issues getting sorted out still. I was dx'd w/ bpd and mdd a few years ago; caused by childhood abuse. I'm generally doing good these days, but things like this come up and it feels like I'm lacking in progress. It's just confusing, knowing something and feeling something different, it's weird lol. This has also happened with family members who have said it. I'd like to know how I can stop this by finding out why I keep feeling that way, even if it's just theorizing. It's just bothering me. Thank you