If i followed this saying of christ "If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them." I would be okay now. I believe that god watches everything and that if you are not good with others he will punish you. I also believe in karma. When you harm others it will come back.

Before being harsh on my parents, I was okay mentally. And when i begun hitting and spitting on my mother few weeks later i got more and more mental illnesses.

Being harsh on others is something you have to do in order to realise its not the answer. Now it looks impossible and get out of the hole i have dugged myself into. lets hope confession is the ladder even though i dont believe in it much