so i’m shaking right now because my dad just pounded on my door and said in a stern voice “we need to have a chat later”. i’m 20 years old and still live at home. i don’t remember most of my childhood but have various mental illnesses because of it. i’ve always been afraid of my dad and any authority figure yelling at me. i can’t stop thinking about what i could have done wrong. i keep looking at the clock waiting for him to come back and yell at me for something. i don’t think i was physically abused by him but i have many reactions like someone did and i don’t remember it. i’ve talked about this with my therapist before. i get scared at every little tone shift, flinch very easily, have nightmares about big men killing me or hurting me, do anything to get attention from men, get very anxious when people touch me, still struggle with sex because i don’t trust anyone and i don’t feel safe unless i’m drunk but it still feels like i’m just doing it to please others or feel something. i’m so scared right now but he doesn’t hit me and he doesn’t get angry that often like he used to and i need him for a lot of things still. it’s not that i’m unsafe but i feel so very unsafe anytime he gets mad. is this PTSD?