Im a 16 year old autistic guy and most of my life has been pretty hard for me, high school especially i had some points where i absolutely did not want to live anymore. 

But around last year some things started to get better, i graduated high school, i went to a vacation with friends and made the decision of moving in with my dad due to problems with my mom at the time.

This start of the year everything went uphill aswell, i got a really good friend group at college and became kinda popular, i got a job as a cashier and my dad recommended me to take walks so i started delivering newspapers as well.

Things happened and now a couple months later i am kicked out of college,  i am stressed because of my job and fake called in sick today, my friend group is also leaving the college to move on to other things and im probably never gonna see most of them again, my dad is very distant and i miss my mom and my sister and im beginning to use a little too much weed.

i really cant afford going trough a struggle yet again ive been miserable and seen as trash for most of my life and always had to try the hardest to get on the level of average people. My current situation is far from my lowest, but the possibility of getting to my all time lows yet again is just actually way too demotivating for me to even think about. I dont wanna try to pull myself out again if that happens, when time and time again i just become miserable again.