The other day I was watching a show with my fp and in between episodes I started just spilling to him EVERYTHING I going on in my mind currently. It was a lot. It was so so much. I would apologize after every message and most of them were 100+ words. He's nt and had no real idea what to do with me, but that's an issue I've always had with people, they have no clue how to help. I start to spiral and think about how no one can help me and started looking at articles to find out how to deal with myself but every article turned out to be a "How to deal with a loved one with BPD"

This sent me over the edge. I have to be dealt with? My entire life? I will be a constant burden to people and always be a nuisance? What the hell? I then became overcome with despair thinking about how people who love me will have to go out of their way to have a good relationship with me, and their mental health will still get weakened from having to constantly reassure me and take my random accusations of paranoia. I couldn't take the thought of being people's burden and how I must hurt people's mental health. 

I am now completely isolated. I logged out and deleted all social media, told my fp I'm leaving and will be back once I'm better, muted all my friends, and leave my phone in my room. I'm constantly watching shows now and finding things to distract me from the moments I would have rather been talking to people. Please tell me people do this as well. Random isolation. Complete isolation. Why do I do this so often. Why do I get riddled with guilt randomly and make such drastic actions?