like title says... im only 18 and i still live with my parents (who are very involved in trying to get me better)

ive sorta been suffering in secret the past couple of weeks... i had a complete nervous breakdown in july and my symptoms have been crazy to the point where ive resorted to substances to get by and not 'act up' i guess. my err... mental state this year has been very traumatising to them and i just dont have the heart to let them see it like this. so im finding the need to just drug myself into sedation

i know its bad for me but im just trying to get by at the moment and im afraid of what would happen if i stopped at this point. quiet bpd is an incredibly isolating experience