So I think I’ve sorted something out and want you guys’ opinion.
Background: I get jealous super easily over the idea that my boyfriend thinks other people (he’s bi) are more attractive than me. Now, I have no delusion that I’m even close to being the prettiest person alive, but I think this all stems from fear of abandonment.
Anyway, so what I want to know is: when other people have crushes on movie stars, thinking random people are attractive, etc, do they feel that as deeply as I (we?) do? Growing up when I had a crush on anyone, I’d go all in- FP style. Movie stars, I’d watch all their movies and read everything I could about them. Friends, I’d adapt to their hobbies and try to spend as much time with them or talking to them. Whoever I was crushing on, I was fixated on them and only them. Black and white.
So I think my jealousy is because I see my boyfriend’s simple crushes (or seeing people as pretty, as we say) being as complex and involved as us finding a FP... but that’s not how it works for people with normal brains?

tl;dr: maybe other people don’t idealize people like we do, but that’s difficult to process in my insecure brain.