I've gotten blood tests, vitamin tests, thyroid checked, ekg, echocardiogram, a ct scan of my lungs, a ct scan of my pelvis, an MRI of my brain ... everything came back clear. So tell me why I feel like shit every second of every day. I almost feel like I'm in a constant state of fight or flight, like CONSTANT ... no exaggeration. I am always taking really deep breaths because I feel like I can't breathe, my heart is always racing, I'm always dizzy, always feel on the verge of passing out, always antsy and tapping my foot. It can't be good for me.

I feel like when I hear about people with anxiety, they talk about just overall anxious thinking and the occasional panic attack once in a while. I legit have full blown panic attacks at least 5 times a day. I'm not even exaggerating.

I can't exercise, I can't even meditate or do yoga... sometimes I can't even get up to get something to eat or to walk my dog more than 5 feet (which is mostly what I feel bad about since he deserves long walks). I'm perpetually anxious.  And I know I'm probably not alone... but I never really see anyone talking about anxiety THIS severe. Not even on Reddit, so I do feel kind of alone and it sucks... 

I just feel like something is so wrong with me and I'm so broken. I don't think I can be fixed and I'd be lying if I told you I didn't think about s\*icide sometimes. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm literally suffering. And I still have to work because I'll literally not be able to live if I don't, yet all I want is just a few weeks off to focus on healing. I can't afford that though.

Life is so fucking miserable. I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel.