I laugh at the irony to cope with it. Seriously though, it feels like a sick joke when I’m doing the best I ever have - and I end up living with somebody whom is so ill they don’t realize what they’re doing, that they’re projecting, or that their memory is so beyond fucked &amp; they’re anxious around me - assuming a malicious passive aggression. It’s over such silly little things &amp; some serious things but usually minor. 

After last night though, I’m done tolerating it. I haven’t been an angel- I definitely have contributed to this dynamic and been short or frustrated in our conversations. I don’t know how to deal without  moving out as it’s beginning to be effect my mental health so much and literally 24/7.  

They were told they have BPD- which they fought tooth &amp; nail to get removed from their treatment record. I see It now though, a lot, and it’s hard to balance being empathetic &amp; not letting somebody bully me//setting necessary boundaries. It’s hard to not feel gas lit- part of me continues to wonder if maybe I’m sicker than I realize and that this is all projection or my BPD acting up more than it ever has. I’m having a hard time validating my reality and not exploding - because I’m ready to. They don’t listen, filter everything I do through a lens of malicious intent &amp; I’m beginning to feel uncomfortable physically &amp; emotionally in my home. 

I’m asking the landlord today if I can deadbolt my door. It’s likely an over reaction. Yet when somebody spends a lot of time tracking my every move (at least, a lot of the time when they’re unhappy It feels that way.... including hours when most people would be asleep....) I don’t feel comfortable just sleeping or letting my things be. I know that feelings are not facts, and, their way of handling things and an explosive outburst has made me really on edge lately.

Have any of you been in a similar situation? I feel like an absolute  fool for not acknowledging what were in retrospect red flags - and that doesn’t mean I’m going to continue to ignore them. I don’t know what to do though- it would cost so much money to move out, and, I don’t know what else to do as I literally can’t have one day or night where there isn’t a conflict and I can relax in my room without being confronted, accused, asked to do something (I do everything for our apartment outside of clean the floors I think...), or triggering my PTSD. 

Right now they’re blocked on my phone, but it can’t stay that way forever.

I’m sorry this was half ranting half asking for support! It’s so hard for me to simply believe my experiences sometimes - and I don’t know how to handle this. :/ 