I'll share mine first. 

I've been institutionalised. I've tried to kill myself - twice. I've been raped - twice. I guess the third time really is lucky, but I hope there'll never be a third time. I've been depressed, sleepless, anorexic, bulimic. If you can think of a way to be fucked up I've been there. I'm an alcoholic, my liver is damaged and I'm drinking myself to an early death. I'm hooked on benzos. 

But the worst feeling I've ever had was when I bought a pack of cigarettes the other day, as I usually do. This pack had one of those stupid warnings on it. It said: 

&gt; Your smoke harms your children, family, and friends. 

For some reason, this was incredibly painful to read. Not because I want to quit smoking, not because I think smoking is bad. But because I have no family. I have no friends. I will never have children - that's the one responsible thing I want to do in this life. 

And worst of all? I don't care that I'm alone. I don't care that I can go weeks without talking to someone. That I drink myself into a stupor most days. I don't care that I'm crying out for help and no one will listen. Perhaps someone will offer a perfunctory ear of compassion, but in the end...the only honest talking I'll get is from a paid therapist. In the end, there's no one. 