

I’ve always dealt with anxiety as a child and loneliness hurts but feels comfortable and having someone love me feels scary or uncomfortable. One major problem I have always dealt with is my mood problems. For a week, I am confident, talkative, feeling like I can do anything, believe I’m a prophecy, and get messy. The other week, I feel sad and worthless, no one really cares about me, that empty stomach loneliness feeling and crying to sleep. It happens every week and my friends sometimes notice because I get very loud and say random shit and laugh with them but the other times I feel depressed, embarrassed, feel like I should just end it. I have intrusive thoughts and always sense a sadness in me. I can never point my problems out and it frustrates me. At a young age, the teachers gave me counseling and diagnosed me with anxiety. I still deal with it and it’s so overwhelming that it feels like I’m the only person who is actually living and everyone is just not real. Depersonalization was worst for me because I almost stabbed my cats but thankfully stabbed the water bottle. Emotional detachment made me apathetic but when I opened up my feelings to someone, I’m suddenly so empathetic and emotional these days. I want someone to help me out and give me advice please.