I , a 22 years old F  have been struggling with my mental health since i was 17. i was put under a lot of pressure during my teenage years  . My anxiety  eventually turned to a depressive disorder . when I was younger , my symptoms were physical ( nausea , fatigue , insomnia ) but I never thought that I was depressed , I technically thought I was going crazy. when I turned 20 my situation was very bad I couldn't get out of bed and was constantly sick to my stomach  and crying , panic attacks ect ...   
I completely isolated myself , I lost all of my friends and my life suddenly shrank to the size of my room .  
I decided to see a shrink  since at the time I felt like I wasn't ready to give up yet .I ended up changing from one to another since a lot of them  would just tell me to look at the bright side and be happy which clearly wasn't helping.   
Spent 2 years doing that until I met my current psy , I've been going to him for the past 6 months. He changed my diet , did my blood work and at some point I felt like he truly understood what I was going through. for the first time in my life I felt like somebody truly understood my pain. but unfortunately I came to realization that this is what its gonna be like, that there is no way out of this mess. all specialists ever do is help you cope. through all my depression I had suicidal thoughts but I never agreed with them until last week I agreed and accepted those thought my mind started making plans. Its scary but comforting at the same time since you know it's finally going to be over.