This may come off as trauma dumping so CW for that. I just feel like I need to vent to whoever will lend an ear, I know this isn't a replacement for therapy. Ever since I was old enough to talk, anxiety has ruled my life. It's exhausting. I dropped out of school only needing one year left to graduate because I was having anxiety attacks every day. I have never had a job because the whole process is terrifying to me, I'm in my twenties now. I still live with my parents.

I genuinely thought I was doing better for a while. Until I had a triggering moment today in a very uncomfortable social situation that has me spiraling, which has made me realize I'm not progressing like I thought. The triggering event seems so unbelievably silly to me as well to have gotten me this riled up. I have a lot of goals and ambitions, which makes my situation all the more upsetting. I feel like for every step forward, it's two steps back for me. I just don't know what to do. I'm on medication, and I simply can't afford therapy right now, not that I'm even sure if I'm willing to go because haha anxiety. I actually want to search for a job soon simply because I feel like I *have* to because of all my medical bills and it makes me feel sick. 

I don't know. I just feel like I'm losing it. I feel so alone. If you read this far, seriously, thank you.