I texted my former fp, told him I couldn't stand to live anymore.

He didn't say anything.

That I was taking all my pills.

Nothing.

I finished all my pills.

Blacked out.

Woke up at my parents' house with no idea what was going on. Started texting people, trying to call an uber, crying and screaming at my parents to take me home. They never explained anything.

I am home now and I feel more hopeless than ever.  The house is trashed, though I don't know if that was me or my mom. "Sorry" is written in blood on the showerwall.

Everyone will make snarky comments for using pills. I though I mixed enough CNS depressants. I didn't want to asphyxiate but I guess that's my only option.

I am so sad.