So I never seem to be content with my romantic relationships.
When someone doesn’t want me it’s like I crave that person, and when somebody wants me or gives me attention I find them very annoying or think there’s something wrong with them.
I can never be happy.

I met a guy, and I really do like him.
The problem is he lives far...I mean like 20 hours away from me far.
I’m okay with that though. I’m in college right now and I only have another year and a half left, I know things can change but I just want to focus on being friends with this guy.
I mean we are kind more than friends but I think both of us know without having to say we aren’t going to dive into a relationship right now.
I still like this guy though and am slowly starting to develop feelings for him.

How do I not mess this up?
I know he likes me too but I feel like he’s pulling away from me...
But in reality maybe not.
I never know if I make shit up in my head or not.
Like maybe we’re just in two separate places and it’s hard to know how we feel because we’re so far. 

I don’t know what to do. 

Why do I always feel so back and forth? 
Why do I always need to feel like someone loves or likes me to value myself.
Even when I don’t get constant attention from my friends I feel empty.

I hate this.
