I'm risking to break up with my only group of friends, I'm annoying and not interesting, when I go out I talk very little and they prefer to stay on their own. Their behaviour confuse me and I don't know if I'm loved or just a burden which they prove pity. There's a girl in the group I fell in love with, already said no and I accept that but I'd like to be friends but even if we chat every day when we go out with our friends she ignores me. Yesterday I made many stories on Instagram about my desire to die, all with memes, and only with that some friends started to ask how I feel, why only in this situation I'm being considered?
I'm sorry if this post is a mess, I'm in a crisis of crying and self hate in this moment, what I wrote is just one of many episodes and I'm tired of being lonely and unloved, I wish I had the strength to end my life