I always hear about risky sexual activity being a BPD thing. 

But I can't do it. 

I hooked up a few times with a guy who I was REALLY into and he ended shit about 2 months ago. 

And I'm still hooked on him. The way he ended things really fucked with me. I don't want to get into it, but I'm FINALLY just getting over that emotional roller coaster. 

I went on tinder not long after, and ended up matching with an old friend who just got out of a LTR. We've been hanging out and it's good. I know he was always into me. And we makeout and fool around but I just called him a cab and sent him home. 

I just can't. I dunno. I guess I'm just not over the other guy. I always hear about rebounds and shit. But for me.. it doesn't work like that. He's NOT the guy I'm hooked on. As awesome as this guy may be... he's just not the one I'm craving right now. So i can't. I've told him straight up I have issues and can't just jump into bed with him. And he's said he's forgiving and will deal with whatever I throw his way... and in my head I just think "HAHA YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOURE SIGNING YOURSELF UP FOR!!!!!!" He's so nice about it. We're supposed to hang out again tomorrow. In my head, I want to. But I just can't. Something stops me. Am I the only one? Am I supposed to be promiscuous because of my BPD? It's so confusing to not fit that role. Fuck. 