this is a long post, im sorry. there's just a lot of context.. i am posting this bc i want to tell my roommate's gf (who does not live with us) to leave after her derailing my entire week and want some perspective on if i am being my typical borderline self or if there is some rationality to my negative feelings.  


**\*\*FOR CONTEXT\*\***  
 i am able to pick up on people's subtle attempts at flirting with my partner and even myself. about a month ago, i noticed my roommate's gf (who has a history of sending n00ds to the other roommate while on a break with roommate) was starting to get emotionally attached to my bf. she does not live with us; she visits for weeks at a time. they would go get coffee one-on-one together and she coined the nickname "Philz buddy" for my bf. (Philz is a coffee branch in my area). i started noticing that she was texting my bf every now and then after she went back to the east coast. this definitely made me uncomfortable, but i didn't say anything. fast forward to now (this past Monday 11/15). i am sitting on the couch eating breakfast when low and behold, she walks into the living room to say hi to me. i instantly feel my heart drop and my stomach twist. my bf comes out of our room and he gets a much brighter greeting than me. they end up talking for 10 minutes and catching up. he comes over to me to say goodbye for me for the day and i tell him that there is something off about her and i do not trust her. he brushes my concerns off and tells me not to worry. i end up talking to him about my concerns about their friendship later that night. i ask him if he could try to establish some more boundaries with her and he once again tells me nothing is off with their friendship. i try to remind him that she is his best friend's gf and that he didn't even like her 5 months ago when the n00ds scandal happened. he continues to brush off my concerns and i ended up blowing up and breaking down. my bf finally agreed to establish more boundaries with her when i calmed down and we talked more.   


so last night, after getting home from a long day of nursing assistant school and work, the roommate's gf had invited her friend over to smoke weed and drink with the roommates. i politely decline as i have to get up at 6AM to go to clinical at a local nursing home. my bf is on the fence about it and we decide to go to our room to change into PJs before anything else. on the way to our room, roommate's gf asks us where we were going and my bf answers to get changed. we get changed and are cuddling for about 5 minutes before she barges into our room and asks my bf to join and ends up dragging him out to join (despite having 3 other people, **including her own bf**, out there). i decided that while i hated that interaction, i was just going to go to sleep bc it is 10PM at that point. not even 20 minutes in, they are all playing a questions game and decide to pick on my bf. i can hear everything they're asking bc they're being loud. the first question the friend asks my bf is "who is your favorite girlfriend?" everyone agrees it was a dumb question and then the gf asks, "if you had to go back to an ex, who would you choose?" and my bf answers his last ex who i overheard him talking about how "perfect and funny" she was a few days ago. i am instantly overwhelmed with anger and sadness to the point where i punch my arms and legs and scratch my wrists with a bottlecap. they all end up hanging out until 12:30AM while being incredibly noisy and keeping me awake. my bf comes back into the room and is too high to talk about what had happened. the next morning, i wake up at 6AM with only 5 hours of sleep under my belt. i come back home, have another breakdown with my bf about what he had said the night before, and we work it out and he apologizes and says he can now see what i was talking about this whole time (after two days of ignoring my concerns). i genuinely dislike this girl now after last night's antics and want her out of the apartment. however, i do not want to damage my relationships with the roommate and the other roommate bc they care about her, so i will not ask her to leave. however, i am left wondering if this dislike towards her is warranted or if i should try to work past it.