Being more self-aware and trying to implement mindfulness, I'm becoming aware of issues I've always had and it seems to be apparent more now than ever:


I have become close with someone over the past couple of months. We aren't dating but we are currently on the same page we both really don't know what is happening but despite where it goes, friends first. She's a social worker and also has mental health issues as well. We have both opened up to each other and have been communicating honestly about the past, feelings, etc.


One thing that I've found very frustrating the past couple weeks is the overwhelming empathy and confusion on how to handle anything. She is experiencing real-life issues that is also triggering past bad experiences in her life. I have been there for her and I am beginning to sort of spiral.


I feel intense empathy and feel like I need to do something because it's getting worse. I know  that it's my emotions and that I can't solve these problems but I can't help but feel this way. Because we're all about honesty, I feel more and more selfish saying that what she's going through is affecting me. It's getting to the point where I am starting to self-harm and not sure what to do. I have been sharing all this with her but it's getting to the point where I don't know what to do. I want to be there but I also need to take care of myself.


Does anyone else have similar experiences or this particularly frustrating situation? Any good ways to cope or communicate to each other such that both people feel comforted? I am so trying not to spin what she's going through on me and it's making me feel so guilty for feeling the way I do. 


I've had both bad close and friendship relationships where the other person is not empathetic, selfish, co-opt their identity to all the bad things that happen to them, or any combinations of these but this isn't that type of relationship. I believe her when she says she cares and have been comforted by her. I just wanted to point out this isn't a one-way relationship. I've gotten much better at eliminating those types of people from my life and this isn't the case. 