(TW: suicide)

So I’ve never been formally diagnosed with anxiety but I’ve started (I’d say in the last 6 months) to have recurrent ‘dread’ around a very particular set of scenarios.

The main one of these is around parental suicide. I lost one of my parents a decade ago and I have become *convinced* that my other parent is going to end their life. 

This parent has shown no specific will to do this but I’m seeing signs in everything: they have recently come out of a very long term relationship but seem very happy, they are drinking a little more, they are intending to visit me in my home city and are including my long term boyfriend in more activities makes me suspicious…but other things are far more illogical like the other day on the phone they said they were going for a walk. I asked where and they said “somewhere with trees”. My mind immediately jumped to ‘well, I guess the are going to hang themselves.’ My heartrate was up for a good 3 hours as I couldn’t stop picturing it. When they finally texted back (I’d just messaged casually) to say they fell asleep watching TV the relief was overwhelming…but the fear came back a few hours later (‘what if they were just scoping out a spot’ etc).

I guess I don’t know what I’m looking for here…maybe:

Does this sound like anxiety? 

Are these sorts of worries and fears something other people have dealt with? 

How would you approach this situation (speak to the parent concerned?).