I know that im depressed for what feels like an eternity. Possibly my entire life (im 31 btw). Additionally im having multiple other issues to deal with such as anxiety issues, narcissism, anti social behavior, possible psychopathy, anger issues, manipulative behavior and more. 

To me it seemed like i was ‚just‘ depressed and there is no way out for me. 

I‘ve recently learned more about BPD. Never really paid much attention to it.  I know for sure that im not bipolar cause i dont experience these mythical upswings people with bipolar have. For me its just constant suffering.

Ive noticed that a lot of the things associated with BPD apply to me. I just always assumed they were symptoms of my depression. 

A few things stood out such as my inability to deal with relationships, intense fear of loss, destructive behavior, dissociation, my absurd impulsivity, inability to handle emotions. The list goes on and on basically. 

Now i get that BPD is a mixed bag and most people that are affected suffer from a variety of things but the more i learn about it the more sense it makes. 

Everything im reading about it makes so much sense that i fear i might be wrong about it somehow. Its hard to explain.

I just dont want to think that im Borderline when im not or tell myself that i am to have another excuse for myself/understand myself better. 

Im not asking for an diagnosis btw. Read the sticky so please dont get that wrong.

Resources where i could learn more. Maybe experiences on how you figured out that you have BPD is appreciated.