This might be triggering for survivors. Please take care of you!
I don't mean to offend anybody or trying to be disrespectful, I'm just being honest :/


Okay so I'm in a bad place right now and I'm having awful thoughts. 
I have been fantasizing of being assaulted, abused, violated. I won't get satisfaction from it but I really want it. It's like it would give me a reason to be like I am. Why I am that depressed.

It just won't get out of my head, please tell me if I'm going crazy.
I literally want to disappear.