Today my fiance and I were supposed to go to otakon. I woke up and was excited but then he realized he couldn't find his covid vaccine card meaning we couldnt go. He looked everywhere while i went quiet and tried to ignore it and go back to sleep. Eventually after trashing the house to find it he left. I didnt know where to so I tooked a few clozapams to make myself fall asleep. I was upset lost my appetite and didnt want to be awake anymore.
Once he came back 2 hours later he apoligized, we went to get food and came back to the house where i went straight back to sleep.
He woke me up again around 6 to take me to the store and basically forced me to pick out flowers. He was trying to make me happy but i wasnt in the mood. After i grabbed some we went back home where ive been having random boughts of crying over everything thats happened today. Now im upset because ive been upset. It was our date day and now for the rest of the week he'll just be working and ill be alone.

I just took more colozopam so i can just fall back asleep. I just dont want to deal with myself anymore