It all started when I had about 4 very close family members pass away in a year when I was 9. Since then, its been an extreme rollercoaster. I've felt so tired since their passing, like I want to eternally sleep. But, as middle school and stuff approached my emotions have been much more than exhausted, its like some days I feel like nothing can go wrong and that everyone loves me, then something minor happens and I fall into a depressive episode for up to months, suicidal thoughts included. And its always been really hard to control my anger too. I want to get help but I have no idea where to start, could it be a trauma response from their deaths or something? I don't think I'm depressed because I've never felt depressed and suicidal for more than a couple months a year. How do I tell my mom I need therapy without feeling so embarrassed or ashamed?