Most people that have met me would say that I'm kind, a bit aloof, and smart. This hasn't changed how much I hate my fucking self for everything I've ever done to a delusional level of self hatred and guilt. I shouldn't bare it.

I've become starkly aware that bipolar disorder will require a lot of EQ, that those in my circle will need a high EQ, and that my feelings can be trusted. I won't be close to anyone who doesn't understand a lame excuse vs a disability. Those who invalidate my CPTSD are out too.

I deserve a better life, one with a peaceful home, and a peaceful mind. I've been forgiven for my past transgressions and I've changed for the better. I don't deserve a circle of people who don't provide a safe space for my mental disorder/trauma.

I hope you all find peace in your mind as well.