Not really sure where to post, so I figured I'd toss my post up because I'm not very good at expressing myself.

I caught myself becoming a little more unhinged recently, things constantly setting me off. I was diagnosed with depression, general anxiety, and ADHD as a kid but the older I get, the more it reminds me of how my mother is. She was diagnosed with severe (major) depression and bipolar disorder, abusive mother who constantly had episodes at the flip of a switch.

Now I've been dealing with the same issues, same as her, around the same age. She used to snap over literally anything, and I realize I've become the same. I feel ashamed. I don't even know **why** I'm upset. I just am, constantly. Always SOMETHING. 

Anyway, so onto how I'm upset and need advice. I've been getting flashes of mania, constantly just fueled by pure spite and indulging into my hobbies to an unhealthy extreme. I work on cars for a pastime, typically for a few hours every now and then. 3 months ago, picked up a huge project. Engine blown up, whatever. Started replacing it, realized it's 30 hours of work on this specific car. I got half way, and completely lost interest. I feel panicky. I feel defeated. I hurt myself a lot in the process, pulled back, destroyed both wrists, and my shoulder won't stop cracking/snapping. Never did that before. I didn't even realize until after I stopped after 18 hours of working. Every time I feel anything, it spirals so severely where constant... thoughts intrude. I don't know what to do. I feel cornered, like nothing is going well, and that I've hit a limit. It's like my mind shuts off and I hyper fixate onto just giving up. I wanted to do so much yesterday. Today, I don't want to exist. I feel fucking stupid.

Please, does anyone have advice with coping?