Hi everyone,

TDLR: My stressful job is triggering my bipolar 1, which has been untreated for several years. When did you or have you asked for help?

I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 about 6.5 years ago after undergoing very severe manic episodes in my undergrad. I had depressive symptoms prior to this, but it wasn't until I was institutionalized against my will that I received a proper diagnosis. I spent four weeks in the hospital, then a couple of weeks later was forcibly institutionalized again for three and a half weeks. A lot of this was triggered by lack of sleep, indulging in substances, and school-related stress. 

Since then, I haven't experienced anything near as manic or traumatic as those experiences. I was put on SSRIs and was unable to attend my classes regularly because of their side effects. So I've essentially been off medication for the last 6 years. I also haven't talked to a therapist in about 5 years.

Currently, the stress from my work situation is triggering symptoms to the point that I get depressed, angry, and upset just about every other week. These feelings lead to hopelessness and despair. Sometimes, it feels like each additional task is the straw that will break the camel's back and will just make me quit entirely. 

I have a serious weight on my shoulders at my current workplace. I am the only person who manages communication/marketing/pr/social media and a variety of other tasks. I've applied to several other positions and unfortunately, I keep getting denied. My work environment can be toxic. About 90% of people in leadership positions have zero work-life balance, are required to be basically on call, and work well into the evenings and weekends. Aside from that, I get paid decently, can manage myself for the most part, and can take time off to do personal things. So, it's not all bad, but the bad certainly seems to be outweighing the good, lately. 

How do you manage work-related stress? How do you know when it's time to trigger options like FMLA or ADA assistance? I'd like to hear some examples of how folks have managed issues like this in their own lives, and what's worked, rather than be told to do x y z. Although I am definitely open to hearing suggestions. 

Thank you