Every mistake is on repeat in my head, seeing their faces with a hint of pity everyday. A faint sense of worry or apathy whenever I’m hurting and can’t turn it off. Im forever changed in your eyes and it kills me that the reality I live is forever missing a piece because of my own actions. The spirals take me to a place they all hate, not a place of anger, but of silent remorse.  It’s a hell I can’t escape, it’s walls are forever shifting and trapping me into my old traps I should have known to avoid. I want to stop so bad