Advice/venting 

I’m anxious about work, about money, about whether I’m providing enough for my kids. If I’m a good parent. If I’m a bad parent. If I’m a good partner. The business I work at is shutting down and they said they’ll find a new business and take us with us, but there’s no promise so then I could be potentially out a job and I’ll have no income, and the job centre will be on my back again. 

It feels like it’s constantly bubbling under my skin. A nasty creeping sensation like ants, making it so I can never get comfortable. I don’t remember the last time I remember I felt truly relaxed. Where I didn’t want to scratch at my skin, and my brain isn’t going a million times an hour. It stops me sleeping. I can’t remember the last decent nights sleep I got. I’m always tired. Yet I have to muddle through life. My partner tries his best to understand but he doesn’t get me. He just tries to come up with solutions. 

I tried to talk to my dad about it yesterday because I said about how I’ve been feeling like I’m coming apart at the seams and nothing seems to be holding me together and I didn’t feel love and support off him. He just told me to go to the doctors. And I wouldn’t dream of going to my mum because she’s even worse and makes me feel like shit. 

Should I even bother trying to go to the doctors for help? I put in an application for well-being at the start of the year and I’m still waiting to hear off them. I had their therapy last year and it didn’t help. I’m just at a loss of what to do. Do I just put up with it?