Not sure if this is a BPD thing or an anxiety thing (got some comorbidity going on) - but does anyone else find it almost impossible to answer texts/set up phone calls with friends? 

With someone who isn’t falling under the favourite person category - it can take me weeks or even MONTHS to respond, and I don’t know why. Even when they’re my close friends, who logically I know have no reason to want to hurt me, I am always really really anxious to text back- and sometimes I’ll set up a phone call with them, and then I just- don’t call them? Because I get too anxious? And then I don’t reschedule because I’m too stressed? 

Talking about this here is making me think it’s probably/possibly an anxiety thing and not a BPD thing- but I think it might have something to do with being untrusting because of the BPD?

Since my ex left me (we dated for 3 years and lived together) - I feel like I don’t wanna invest any time or care or energy into any other relationships - I reallyyy thought he would never leave me, but he did (and he blocked me everywhere and ghosted me entirely) - and since then my trust in people is completely shot

I don’t want to make anyone rely on me, because if they do and I let them down it’ll be like that all over again - so maybe I’m subconsciously making myself really unreliable, and making it so people don’t expect anything from me? Like I don’t want to get close with someone incase they decide they stop liking me- but if I make myself purposefully hard to reach and distant, then that’s the only reason someone wouldn’t like me which feels like less of an attack in my character and more something I chose for myself Like a protection thing? 

Idk does anyone else experience similar things? If so - do you have any ways to combat it? Because I’m starting to get really worried about how much I’m pushing people away