Been depressed since I can remmember. My life is grey on grey. Recently I came down with a heavy heart disease. Which means nothing allowed that brings me joy for the next 2 1/2 months(sport,sex,alcohol,weed,anything that makes me mad, stairs and standing for longer than 2 min). During the peak of illness I found out that most of my "friends" dont give a single fuck about me. Cut ties with them.  Now its just me, alone in my room, Starring at the ceiling. I ve tried gaming and watching stuff. But I stare right trough my screen. How do I not kill myself?
It s been 2 weeks of this shit and I m at my breaking point.