I dont have enough energy to care about people. I can't be there when my friends need it. Most of my energy is trying to stop me from doing stupid shit when my intense moods take over. And since I end up being a bad friend and not caring about other people, people end up not caring about me. Which is fair but I just get so jealous watching people have carefree conversation and laugh together. I feel like I've lost the ability to do because I seem to be in a bad mood all the time. I wish I could feel better already . I just feel so lonely and want to be with my friends.