I am not yet diagnosed but started to strongly suspect I had BPD a couple months ago. I haven’t told anyone yet. In fact I just discovered the term “favorite person” and my mind is blown.

I have an SO but he is not my FP. My FP is an ex-coworker who has become my friend over the last 1.5 years (he is also in a relationship). I am completely obsessed with him. All descriptions of an FP are exactly this - constantly thinking about him, moods up and down based on our interactions, looking for only his likes on social media, butterflies when he messages.

With the good is the bad. He pointed out I make things about me. He said he doesn’t think I view him accurately. He said I seem to want more than he can give.

Now that I understand more about BPD and FPs, I want to tell him. Specifically HIM. Not even my SO because we have a pretty strong, stable relationship and it seems almost pointless. But with me and FP, things are up and down. I want to say - you’re right, I am weird and here’s why. And I am ready for him to not be my FP.

I think if I told him about BPD and especially him being my FP, that I’d really scare him away. Is that what evil BPD wants? I do want to stop obsessing with him - I have since like the second day I met him... it’s exhausting and also embarrassing that I talk about him so much.

Would telling him he’s my FP just be blowing up the whole relationship? Has anyone else told a non-SO they were your FP? How did it go? Can any good come out of it or is scaring them away the point?