Constant phone checking.
Always asking for clarification.
Not knowing when to stop bickering.
Passive aggressiveness.
Constant insults. 

I observe myself doing all of these things, pushing them away.
When all I want is to be happy with them.

It hurts so much to watch yourself poison a relationship that was once untainted. A relationship that had potential and could've flourished, in another dimension, where you aren't mentally ill.

It hurts so much.
To simply want to be close to your partner, but all you do is the opposite.

I am so frustrated at myself.