Hello, I am nineteen and have dealt with bad anxiety all my life, but recently a new demon has surfaced that I have been really struggling to deal with. Health Anxiety and other fearsI had to start taking birth control for a nasty ovarain cyst in Febuary, and that was one of the worst medical experinces I have had, I was in constant pain 24/7 headaches so bad I thought I was having a stroke, even though I had no history of migraines, my anxiety spiked to the point where I had to be hospitalized because I was convinced I had a blood clot.  I was out of commission for two months afterwards, coudnt even read, play video games or anything just sit and panic. It was bad and really painful and didn't even help the cyst, which was really nice of it to do. I couldn't even finish the first month.

 After that really terrible experience, I have developed really really really bad health anxiety to go along with my regular anxiety and depression about climate change and stuff like that.Covid 19 did not help, and I have had to start masking inside of the house with my family as I fear covid, and with that bad experience, I have a crippling fear of medication now I am afraid that taking the covid vaccine would cause another month-long shutdown that I can't afford with starting college. Because I would be so afriad of the side effects I keep hearing about, especially since I live in a conservative area with people constantly spouting misinformation I know isn't true but it makes me even more anxious. 

 I take my anxiety medicine but I constantly fear something bad happening from it, and it doesn't seem to help even the Xanax doesn't help as I am constantly fearing that I will get addicted and die from it when I take it. I get scared taking Tylenol or even Tums. I am autistic and have suspected OCD or something similiar, and I have a lot of trouble talking with therapists and haven't gone to one in a while after some bad experiences.

 I just can't live like this with the constant anxiety, I have been unable to eat, or do anything because how bad it has been getting. I dont know what to do, and would appreciate any help. Thank you and I hope you all have a wonderful day.