I made a post a couple of months ago called ‘recovering is messy’ I’ve got an update at the end.

I’m 23 years old at the moment and I’m from the UK. I’m October 2020 I got into a relationship with a 49 year old (I was 22) he was very nice to me at first and said that I’m beautiful and smart etc. then he turned abusive poked fun at the fact that I didn’t have many friends (this was awful as I have always struggled with friends). He then asked if I was a virgin (I was) and if I ever been kissed before (I haven’t). It all went downhill from there. Only 2 months in I found out that he was actually married which made sense because he threatened me if I told anyone. He told me that he only wants a bit of fun and he isn’t leaving her for me. I was in shock, at this rate he was adamant he would take my virginity. He sexually assaulted me at one point at work he fingered me I told him to stop he didn’t and I had to try pulling his wrist. 

He’d compare me to Glenn close in fatal attraction. I was not happy I wouldn’t of dream doing what she did. He wouldn’t let me dye my hair told me what makeup to wear and even told me what lingerie wear. January 2021 he took my virginity and it was traumatic. I hate hotel rooms. The next day he broke up with me as his wife was pregnant. My heart sank he told me ‘You got what you wanted’. He wanted to be friends and I said yes, the next day it hit me I was feeling suicidal, only my friend knew and the Samaritans. 

April I was told by a doctor that I was suffering from severe depression and anxiety and he put me on Zoloft (sertraline in the UK) every day I thought about killing myself. I’m now on Prozac as I overdosed on Zoloft July 2021.

I did some really bad behaviours in July-September 2021, I slept around, started snapping at my family and friends and drank alcohol. I thought I was bipolar but a psychiatrist told me I have PTSD. 

I reported him to the police, they called him when he was at home with his wife and he said that it’s a load of rubbish and he doesn’t know who I am. They then threatened to arrest him so he said he knew who I was. When they interviewed him he admitted he had sex with me but denied he raped and sexually assaulted me. I have a witness statement and potentially another 

Some days I’m fine other days I fall apart, it didn’t kill me but a part of me died that day.