I’ve been sat here trying to get projects done for weeks. It just keeps getting worse. I’m seriously losing Hope now. I’m completely wasting my time, all I can think about is how I’m throwing it all away at this last hurdle, I can’t focus on anything. I rush home to work and then sit and stare all day. 
Even when I’m done with this stage of my life, everything is still so uncertain and miserable, what is there to look forward to? I idolise the idea of suicide but I’m too scared to commit to an effective method. But as a skin sack that can barely put coherent sentences together or complete any activity without coaxing, there is only so much time before it all fades right? Everything valuable is forgotten, so eventually I’ll forget how to breathe at some point, right?