I've been with my current boyfriend about a year, and recently my mental health has taken a turn for the worse. I've tried to be proactive about it and seek help, but it usually just turns into breakdowns. I'm still taking my abilify and I've made two therapy appointments but I'll admit I'm not as proactive as I could be. In the middle of a breakdown the other day I asked him "am I really that much worse than your ex?" (His ex wife had BPD as well) and he said yes, my borderline is much worse than hers. It just came as kind of a shock to the system I guess. He assures me that I'm worth it even on the worst days but I worry I'm driving him crazy. I guess I just need some kind words or reassurance that I'm not the only one praying to something I'm sure isn't listening to make the pain go away. 