One of my good friends has BPD and is prone to embellishing stories or leaving out key information so that she doesn’t look bad and instead looks like a victim. In the last few years she’s painted her parents as horrible individuals that never support her and are always screwing her over at the last second, but it’s often pretty apparent that she’s not giving the full story, and expects people to believe her family just acts on pure evil impulse with no thought or logic whatsoever. As an example I once spent months feeling bad and trying to emotionally support her after her parents suddenly decided they would no longer pay her rent and apparently gave her no warning whatsoever. Months later I learned from other friends that she had actually been months behind on her rent after refusing to listen to her parents and get a job, and after awhile they got sick of this and finally stopped paying her rent. She still didn’t get a job after this, just kept not paying until her parents finally had to deal with it. But she never included any of this in her story. 

Now her parents have apparently cut her off again, but this time from everything - school, rent, health expenses, etc. She was completely freaking out and asking for advice but I literally don’t know what to tell her because I know she isn’t giving me any of the actual story. I can’t imagine what she had to do to convince her parents to fully cut her off but I know they wouldn’t do something like that for no reason.  

It feels stupid trying to provide emotional support over a situation that is literally not real, except maybe in her head, so I don’t really do it anymore. It’s just frustrating because I’d truly have so much more respect for a friend that can admit they fucked up or got themselves in a tough spot, we’ve all been there, but they cannot handle portraying themselves as anything other than a complete victim. It’s been years of this and they never understand that people can see through it