I strongly believe I have depression, even a few people with expert knowledge on mental health (PhD level) are strongly convinced I have depression, one of them even told my mom that she thinks I have depression. My mom flat out denied I have depression; she thinks I have anxiety disorder, more inclined with social anxiety. The PhD student (I forgot what area exactly in psychology, but she focuses on depression) told her she's not convinced I have AD nor SAD.  Even the PhD student told my mom if she could accept that anxiety comes out of depression.

I'm strongly convinced I don't have anxiety disorder nor social anxiety disorder (I used, especially when my mom is around because she would scream or cuss me out if I make mistakes or act awkward around people) I do get anxiety over things, but I don't get them much. I sometimes feel indifferent towards things like being late to class. I don't feel "scared" of people, I either feel fighting with them (I get fantasies of beating them up or cussing them out but I know better). I don't have a problem making phone calls or doing social stuff except public speaking (depending why, like I'm better with ten everyday people than 500 people who some have massive power over me).  My mom is strongly in-denial. There's more she's in-denial, its like she lives in a fantasy world about me. She argues with me that I "love" math (I ***HATE*** STEM topic, I was literally forced into STEM by my mom, I used wanted to kill myself when I was failing my classes and thought I will be forced to work at a job I hate). My mom even denied that she forced me to be STEM major and even mock me by saying that she isn't stupid enough to be take classes she hate. I don't care how immature it sounds but I seriously hate her.

I have many signs of depression

* I struggle with self-care like brushing my teeth or sleeping
* Self-destruction: eating really unhealthy food, smoking, and even self-harm (I harm myself when I hear my mom screaming/getting angry)
*  I feel like my life is getting worse
* I don't trust people since I could remember. I'm not nervous but I sometimes hate humanity based on bullshit, like dealing with prestigious judgmental assholes at grad school. I tried to seek help from school but services are usually awful. I went services outside of school and cheapest ones I could afford are also terrible. That's a long story and I could make another post that, since I struggle to trust mental health experts (I tried to research on what to expect, understand, or seek on getting help, like what kind of mental health expert and what's their experiences).

I'm sure there's more I could share.

But I'm trying to just ignore my mom's ideas about me. I'm trying to get help for depression and possible other issues.