I'm so tired of everything and everyone in my life. I have a few lovely friends who genuinely like and care about me, I feel the same towards them. They are the only ones I haven't yet done the above-mentioned. I feel like disconnecting from everyone and everything, delete my social media accounts, trash my whole wardrobe and buy new stuff, get a different haircut, buy purple contacts (weird, I know), rent a flat in the city or a house in the country (because it's cheap) and start a  new life like I was born again. I'm at such a low point where I would literally have no problem even disconnecting from my family. I feel like my current life and it's attachments regresses and holds me back. 

I feel like thoughts, instead of a person. I don't have a personality. I'm empty. I feel soulless, even though that's not true at all. I can feel empathy and emotions. How I act is determined by my thoughts. One day extremely motivated, the other day I feel like how I feel now or something different. A friend gave me a tip to write down who I want to be and behave according to that, which is a pretty good tip, but it doesn't work when you have an episode you just don't give a fuck at that time and feel like that's not who you are.