So 

I had a talk yesterday with my FP about a few things that I’ve been wondering about. It was a decent talk. Nothing bad came out of it. 

But I feel so stupid now. He was replying to me as normal. Talking to me the same as any other day. 

But for some reason I keep feeling like he hated me after. I even asked him if he did. And of course he said no. 

The vibe felt off. Well for ME. Why do I always get so weird after important discussions with ppl????? 

Anyways. Like I said we talked for the rest of the day as normal. I woke up this morning thinking he would reply. And no. I checked social media and he HAS been active. But no reply. 

This isn’t abnormal behavior. But Becuz of yesterday I feel as though he hates me now or is avoiding me. 

I’m being paranoid aren’t I? Idk. I wanan jst msg him and split like crazy. But I’m trying not to do that anymore and control my reactions bttr. And me and him have had discussions about my splitting. It was rlly getting outta hand for awhile there. 

I’m trying to be bttr. And communicate bttr. I can’t help thsi reaction though. 

Idk..... I jst want reassurance he dsnt hate me after that talk. 

And I feel so stupid cuz like I said we talked like normal for the rest of the day. So why would he randomly decide hours later to avoid me???? 

I hate this BPD brain. I’m trying to listen to the facts and logic. But the emotional reaction is so strong I can’t help it. It makes me down now.