I survived Christmas with my family. I never celebrate New Years so I was ready to kick back and regain my sanity when I suddenly get a text from an old friend about her upcoming birthday party. My heart sank. We had a falling out a couple of years ago because I didn’t go to her baby shower and I feel like it could very well happen again because of this. 

I don’t know what it is but I just hate birthdays, holidays, baby showers and whatnot. It’s such an unnatural reason to get together with people you don’t really know or like, and I always feel so uncomfortable and out of place. I seriously try to not have friends because of this, I feel like no matter how I try I always end up disappointing them. I realize this reads more like social anxiety but I’ve never been diagnosed with that, just bipolar and a combined PD. But I figured since comorbidity is so high with bipolar there might be someone else who feels this way too?