Hello.I’ve been apart of this subreddit for a while now and I’ve finally gained some confidence to make a post about my declining mental state.I need to talk about the way I feel and I need some advice.I understand this is reddit and this post will probably go unseen but there’s a small chance that someone might see this and I’m talking to that one person who does.In the past year or so,maybe longer my life has kinda fallen apart around me and I don’t know how to deal with all of it.In the past 18 months,3 close relatives have died one being my grandfather whom I was very close to.My younger sister was also diagnosed with a disease which could have caused her to go blind,my grandmother had cancer and she had a bad infection from one of the procedures and it was a bit touch and go for a while but she’s thankfully okay now.My mother’s business was robbed clean and she had little to no income coming in.And earlier this year my parents had gotten a divorce,which wasn’t a surprise but still not the best.My grades are falling and I’m not doing well in school.I have had one session of therapy but it didn’t seem the best,so I don’t know what to think about that.I have noticed that my anxiety has gotten severely worse,to the point where I can’t breathe and to where I can’t function.I do take medication for it and it does help but I feel so depressed and down when I take them.I’ve also noticed that my suicidal tendencies have increased in the past 3 months and I don’t know how to stop it.I feel like any day now I’m going to just take my life.That scares me if I’m being completely honest.I feel as if there’s two different sides of me who fight over control of my body and the “bad” usually has control.This is the side that makes me want to end it all,when I’m being “controled” by this side of me I don’t feel myself.The only person I’ve talked to about these things is my girlfriend but she had enough problems of her own.I feel as if I don’t find a way to cope or get help that I’ll end or ruin things with my partner and if that happens I’ll have nothing to live for.So I don’t know what to do.Any help or advice will be greatly appreciated,thank you for reading this