Hey all, first time posting here and after reading through this sub which has provided solace for me in my own anxiety.

Some backstory to me - I was made redundant 3 years ago from a job I already hated, and those few years since then have been full of ups and downs. Several months into redundancy Covid hit, which of course essentially halted the job world for a solid year for everyone who didn’t have one, or who did. About a year after this I unexpectedly lost my sibling, which changed my life forever and opened my eyes up to the world and reality. It’s been just over a year now since then, and only now do I feel like it’s time to get my life together and sorted again.

I’m a talented photographer which was also my choice of university education and my natural passion, so I’m thankful I didn’t realise my own anxiety prior to deciding the fate of my life before studying. So I’m thankful to have a degree and a visual body of work to go by.

Applying for jobs has always been hard for me, primarily because of the fear of the unknown. It’s like an invisible force field that’s almost impossible to overcome. I always nitpick and find small sections of the job listing and find something specific I don’t think I’d be able to do or have a fear of which then has me disregard that listing. 

Since going through the tragedy of losing my sibling, it’s only heightened my anxiety with things that I don’t really want to do, nor that I could care any less for, as you can imagine. It’s placed me in a defining part of my life that only I can change, and I don’t think I have the minerals to do it.

I need to overcome this hump and get out there for the sake of my life. I’ve always felt like I’m destined for something good, something that matters for the world because of my empathy and personality, but I just cannot seem to materialise it.

I don’t know what I came here for, whether to ask questions, to rant, to try help others with my personal anxiety and situational experience, but this pressure has been building up and I know it’s time to face it head on.

I need to start my career properly, I need to find a whatever job to GET a job.