Hi everyone. I'm a new mom to a 2 month old beautiful baby boy. I had the baby with my ex and although I don't regret my baby at ALL, I should have known better than to make this kind of commitment in a relationship as rocky as ours. I now feel like I'm feeling the very serious consequences of that.

Let me lead by saying I have a history with being a toxic person in relationships. I tried so hard not be that way for this one but after the baby, all of my toxic characteristics came back to the surface. I feel pretty broken up about this failure.

As such, my ex has asked me to find a new place to live and I have nowhere to go. My credit is tanked, my finances are tanked, and my mom won't let me stay with her. I feel like I deserve it.

I've been having a lot of debilitating breakdowns in the past weeks because of the stress of being a new mom in addition to this failing relationship. I even called off work a few times because I couldn't get out of bed. Now my job is also in jeopardy.

If I don't find a place to go I could lose custody of my son once we go the courts. I feel like this is rock bottom but I don't even know where to find the strength to start over. I feel so tired and hopeless and feel like I can never move forward in my life.

I would never leave my son, but I have had some pretty low thoughts lately. I know I need help, I'm just still processing the gravity of everything before I seek it out. Any advice would be helpful