My fights with my bf always feel the same. He refuses to listen to me and ignores my concerns until I blow up and make a mistake like cursing or getting physically violent. He then uses that to further abuse me and my concerns don’t feel heard ever. 
I told him today to not overspeed as it makes me anxious and he kept ignoring until I made him promise me to stay under the speed limit. He does that and the next second he goes 20over and said that “stop controlling me, I’m following the traffic”. Our argument got heated and he pulled over and called me names. 

The other day I told him I won’t go out if him and his friends are just gonna smoke pot so he makes all these promises that he won’t and the minute we get there he sneaks away and get high. When I found out he avoided me. It triggered my issues so much that I called him names. The topic then became about me being so toxic and controlling and abusive. He kept escalating by making it seem like my mistake and I slapped him. After that he got an excuse to be more abusive to me. We’re a disaster together and we fight so often.
He does so many nice things for me that are completely selfless and out of a place of love but then this happens. I’m so hurt and my health is getting worse.;(