so i’m not diagnosed but ive always speculated it, i struggle with abandonment, i cant handle being rejected, my mood can change at the blink of an eye, and much more. 

Recently me(25m) and my partner (26f) decided to take a break from our relationship, this has been driving me absolutely insane. I am constantly thinking about wether shes going to leave or wether shes going to find someone new. The thought doesnt leave my head. It’s constant and to the point where im starting to get severely anxious and almost agitated over it. 

We still talk everyday and she calls me the second i get out of work, we fall asleep on the phone together... but tonight she mentioned how the other day when i slept over she kept hinting that she wanted to have sex and i didn’t notice (i’m bad with social cues sometimes), i made a joke about how i’m going over on saturday and we could potentially do it then because im now more aware of what she wants... she responded by saying “nope, that was your only chance, that’s all you get.” Which at first i assumed she was joking, so i responded by saying that it was fine and i just wanted to hang out with her anyway. She then says “yeah we can hang out platonically,” which kinda caught me off guard. I don’t know why the word triggered me. To me platonically means friendship? I again thought she was joking so i repeated “PLATONICALLY???” and she kept saying it, then proceeded to ask if she was pronouncing it wrong and why i sounded so confused... i immediately got quiet and my brain went into overdrive, is she rejecting me? was she joking? either way it felt like i was being rejected. 

It’s confusing because we are still pretty flirty &amp; we talk all the time.. i want to be able to talk to her about it and how it triggered me but im nervous about her response... she also has bpd so im sure she’d understand but the idea that she potentially only sees me as a friend now is torturing me and it’s terrifying honestly. 

Any advice on how to bring it up to her &amp; how i can keep my cool in regards to taking this break and not letting my overthinking get the best of me?