There is a fear/anxiety/paranoia beneath my psyche that worries of my early death. I'm 20 and I have been threatened with shooting if I did something (it's not as bad as it seems), I have been semi-extorted with "harm to you and you family" by a guy who I thought was my friend who came to our house. I just watched a video of the Kabul explosion and aftermath and all the dead bodies and I'm just scared I will be killed or in the extreme the world will degenerate into complete violence and I will get caught in it. I just want to keep a gun by my side now but they are illegal in my country, a blessing and a curse I guess. I just want to not put myself in a position to die. I need to stop pushing people's boundaries and also be careful who I trust.