When I’m physically ill. It’s the only time I want someone to take care of me. Make me soup, make sure I have fluids, keeps me warm, etc. Someone that would do the chores that need to be done, instead of doing it when I’m healthy again. 
My ex husband was not such person. My parents were not those people either. It’s just something I dream of. But I don’t think I’ll ever meet anyone who would take care of me when I’m ill. (They sure as hell didn’t take care of me after surgeries, so I had complications)
I don’t dare ask anyone to take care of me when I’m not doing well mentally because I look normal. 
I’m just sad, and I’ve been crying.