I find myself incredibly restless yet numb at the same time. Every second of my day is spent coming out of my skin because my brain won’t stop focusing on the next place I have to be or the next thing I have to do and until I get there I’m stressed the fuck out. When I’m at home all I think about is okay I’ll feel better when I’m driving to work but then I get in the car and I’m just as restless so I tell myself okay I’ll feel better at work but then I get to work and all I can think about is god I want to be home but then I get in my car to go home and I can’t even sit still on the drive home because im so goddam restless to get there but then I get home and nothing changes and I just sit on the couch coming out of my skin because I feel like I have to do something I have to go somewhere else but there’s nothing to do because I literally don’t enjoy anything. Everything I used to do that brought me joy, guitar, music, writing, reading, hiking, it doesn’t matter I can’t stand any of it anymore. It’s like im so restless all the time that my brain blew a fuse and just shut off, so my body is restless but my head is numb and doesn’t find joy in anything so im always just anxious about getting to the next thing thinking I’ll feel better then.