You'd think it would get easier but it's the exact same. Meet someone, like them, make them my whole life, have to pretend I'm not doing it while I'm checking my phone every 5 seconds. Self-esteem reduces to nothing, anxiety skyrockets, behaviors increase. I need all or nothing, to be totally independent or around someone constantly.

I am exhausted and don't know if I should just break it off and be on my own forever. This is tiring.