I have dealt with depression for the past 15 years. For the most part I'm able to manage it where it's tolerable, but this pandemic along with some personal matters really has had me down and out. I've been in a bad slump since November now and it's never lasted this long at this level of bad. I'm starting to feel hopeless, and I'm just flat out exhausted. I don't really have much of a support system and the people I do have somewhat in my corner seem to be giving up on me. They don't get it, and tell me to do things but its so much easier said then done. I've worked so hard between individual/group therapy, trying meds, doing my own work with self help books and such but nothing is really helping. It's starting to affect my performance at work, and personal life. My house is a pigsty but I can't find motivation to do anything. I don't know what to do at this point, as the intrusive and suicidal thoughts are daily, and I'm at my wits end 9f needing relief. I just want someone to understand me and stop judging when I'm doing the best that I can right now.