Writing on my phone so forgive me if it's a bit messy! 

So I still think I might have borderline, however the public mental health system where I am has not been particularly thorough or good, and at times unprofessional (though I am aware that it's probably much better than in many other countries).  And when I brought up that I'd like to really have more clarity on my diagnosis because nobody really discussed it with me they told me that according to the doctor I met once, I had a "poor sense of self".  I was a bit confused because I am not aware of showing signs of that and I'm not entirely convinced that I strongly lack a sense of self to the degree of what people seem to on here. They also said that I was impulsive and that further confused me as I hadn't really described impulsive behaviour that was extreme. I am aware that I have impulsive behaviour sometimes, but it was odd that I was labeled specifically an impulsive borderline. I don't drink, I don't party, I don't take drugs and I don't self harm and I've never really been that way. I know these aren't the only ways to show signs of impulsivity so perhaps there are certain, less obvious symptoms that they noticed? I do struggle with anger but only on my own or with a very select few but mainly just on my own. 
Mind you, they only added "impulsive" After the one time I began questioning them about my treatment and diagnosis. The nurse got defensive when I told them that so far talking to her once a month has not been appropriate help for me. I made sure to tell them that I wasn't critiquing them but more so the system and how it's made me feel much worse than when I had not looked for help. The nurses reply was "this treatment has been scientifically proven to work". She barely treated me, only asked me questions and told me to go on YouTube and listen to "meditation music". I kid you not.  Prior to this they had told me "you are not ready for therapy" While also not really preparing me for therapy. At one session I pushed for more specific answers as to why I am not ready in their opinion. After a lot of back and forth and polite prodding, it turned out that that wasn't actually the reason. The reason was my unemployment status(due to covid). And the reason I was seeing them was to get a statement that would allow me a discount on therapy but they don't really want to give this to people who aren't working. I have since managed to earn money but only through part time work so I'm uncertain if I will be eligible yet. 
I know this text is a bit of a mess but I guess I would like to understand what they mean by these descriptions and if this behaviour on their part is professional? I'm also scared that this diagnosis will just make it harder for me to be taken seriously when I have legitimate concerns. 

There's also adhd and autism in my family(at least two siblings diagnosed) but they didn't look into that at all (and seem to have no intention to) and immediately went with the borderline diagnosis. I'm not saying I believe to have either diagnosis but it would be nice to at least have a proper examination. 

This was much longer and messier than I expected, and it ended up being half a question, half a rant. But I do appreciate some insight and if my perception of the situation might be flawed?