I tend to idealize people but not in the way most people talk about idealization. And I feel like I’ve rarely if ever experienced devaluation. Maybe I’m just kidding myself? 

Instead of subconsciously projecting some preconceived ideal onto a person, and seeing them as the embodiment of my “savior” and “dream person,” and then becoming disappointed and disillusioned when they don’t live up to that ideal, I tend to be drawn to someone and then over time mold myself — and my ideals — into them. Nothing they say or do can disappoint me because they ARE, by definition, the ideal. So my ideal is constantly shifting to accommodate whatever new things I come to know about the person. Even their flaws become good things in my eyes. And I grow despondent when I myself fail to be like them in any way. 

Does that make sense? Is it still idealizing?