im diagnosed with GAD and OCD i was having a horrible panic attacks and before i get diagnosed my bestfriend’s father died and i was afraid to talk to her and be with her cause i thought it’s my fault i had dreams about me killing her father but after like 2 days i talked with her but i couldn’t go to visit her due covid and things and now its been like weeks since we talked i’m afraid to call her again i know she’s upset i know she needed me i think of her every single day but i don’t know what to say and i’m not comfortable talking about my mental health and explain why did i disappear i feel like shit any advice?