Idk if I'm here for advice or support or what but all I know is it's gonna be a hard fuckin time for my friend and they already have so much shit going on. I wanna do whatever I can to lighten the load, and I get the feeling sometimes that also means not trying to help hands on in every situation but rather finding ways to maintain some stability. Maybe stepping back, but at the same time ofc sudden distance doesn't mix well with abandonment issues &amp; paranoia. Is it possible to step back from a situation and still be present for the person?

I'm not the most stable person, trying not to overcomplicate things but I don't have the experience with BPD to know what to look out for and what ways specifically I can help. I feel like I also have to make peace with the fact that even handling things great I'm gonna end up hurting them? It obvs doesn't feel good but if I get hung up on that I can't pick up the pieces afterwards.

The sense of self is a huge issue too though right? I'm nervous about not noticing that I'm getting too involved and taking away their independence. Thankfully they're very good at diffusing their attention and always have a lot going on with work and people and so on. Still I'm wondering if they'll start mirroring more in my presence due to the FP thing... Could it help to draw positive attention to qualities &amp; tastes that are unique to them, as a way to reinforce the sense of self &amp; individuality?