I've always been very shy and rather submissive. I was bullied a few years when i was a kid and never really expressed my anger. I think that's maybe why I am who I am. 

I've realized I have a sadistic side. I found myself being turned on when I watched a movie and a man was being hurt and cried, screamed and begged for mercy. I also felt guilty for feeling turned on for that. 

I know that if that wasn't a movie I would have felt very bad for the man before I could even feel slightly turned on, but it kind of scares me that I felt sexually aroused when I heard that man's screams. It happened to me 3 or 4 times in other movies, but thankfully never irl. 

Should I get help? Do any of you guys deal with that and how? I'm in control, but I don't want to turn into someone I don't want to be.