My life has been nothing but other peoples decisions and I’m too much of a coward to tell them otherwise. I went to a high school i never wanted to go to and got a college degree in culinary arts. I hate cooking. Its not fun for me. Every job I’ve ever had has always been in the food service industry because its all i know at this point. My parents are proud that they did what they think i wanted but, truthfully, i wanted to be a musician. 
I now am 24 years old, have gone through 5 different restaurant jobs in the last year and a half because of my social anxiety, my girlfriend hates that I can’t keep a stable job and probably wants to leave me. She doesn’t communicate with me like she used to and to be honest our relationship has fallen apart quite a bit. 
Im constantly stressed if my minimum wage job is enough to make rent and food and all of my other bills alongside whatever else i might need to buy for the month. I try to budget properly but its hard. Along with stress my bipolar depression has been hitting harder than ever for the last year and i haven’t been able to stop cutting myself at least twice a week. My girlfriend doesn’t know and I don’t have the courage to tell her. 
My life has gone completely downhill and the childhood prodigy that everyone told me i was back in high school, and even college, has completely fizzled out and just constantly wants to die. I don’t know what to to as I’m stuck in life at the moment and the easiest solution to all my problems is killing myself.