Part of me knew that this would happen. The constant situation of people leaving me in my life. I thought that this time would be different. But nope. I finally thought that I was going to get my happy ending and now the person I loved cancelled something really important to us for this upcoming weekend. 

I know to other people it wouldn't seem like such a big deal. That they would try to be understanding and caring about the situation (which I can't go into detail with because it's not my story to tell). But for me this is just triggering all of those feelings of disappointment, self-hatred, and abandonment that I've felt my whole damn life. I thought that this person was different. He was informed about my disorder and knowledgeable about it so I thought that he would understand how something like this would make me feel. But I was wrong. 

I feel like my heart has been ripped out and I don't even know what to do with myself coping-wise.