24 y/o, and still have no clue what I want to be. 

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The entry-level jobs I've managed to hold so far have been like crack. I get a hit every other weeks and feel great for a few days, and then it's back to fantasizing about how I'm going to spend the next paycheck on my useless toys. I got myself an expensive radar detector. Car cleaning products. New tires. A socket set. Things that entertain me for a few days but provide little, if any, lasting value. What the hell is a good wax job and a speed trap circumvention device going to do for lasting happiness? 

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I'm living a bullshit lifestyle. I have off-the-charts MCAT scores and got into medical school my first try. I had great GPAs in college and managed to turn it up at the same time, hosting some epic parties back in my heyday. But I'm here stuck living at home with my fucking parents, one of which molested me as a child and both of which emotionally abused me and continue doing so to this day. 

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My current jobs is selling auto parts. I walked onto the job with no real automotive parts experience. All my knowledge was theoretical. I only "know" about cars from my diet of countless Reddit posts in r/cars and r/cartalk and [jalopnik.com](https://jalopnik.com). But I surprised the shit out of everyone. A guy with no parts experience and baby soft hands selling parts like it's nobody's business. 400 sales in his first week. Knew the lingo. Could put even the most experienced customer at ease by dropping terms like "squirrel cage" as if he were an industry veteran and interchangeably using "flywheel" and "flexplate," just like a real ASE-certified mechanic. 

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I was scared of this job, though. I almost didn't go to the interview, but I had to pay for my toys somehow. I almost didn't show up to my first day of work, because I was scared of operating a cash register. I had never operated one before, and I was afraid I'd look stupid. But I picked up quickly. I mean, what do you expect for a guy of above average intelligence? Of course I could learn how to operate a cash register quickly. 

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Part of me thinks I was "meant" to be an engineer. But, I remember the engineering students from college. I don't want to be a fellow nerd. I want to be "cool." I also almost failed Physics 2. But at the same time, I'm the guy who stays up to 3am in the morning researching FMVSS 108 test points. I'm the guy memorizing luminous intensity values at various test points for automotive headlamps, and I'm the guy who can lecture you to sleep about automotive lighting and recall trivia like the fact that in the US, taillamps must have a 5:1 on-axis intensity ratio, and that the H-V high beam candela value is limited to 75,000 candela, while in ECE/European countries, high beam intensity is capped at a far more reasonable 145,000 candela. Chevy S10 headlamps suffer from excessive backscatter. The metal hemispherical thingy in a 9003/H4 lamp is called a Graves' shield. I'm a fucking Jeopardy monster. 

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I'm the guy who's looking up oil filters for his car one moment and the next moment researching beta ratios of various oil filters to see which one is best. 

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I'm the guy looking up engine oil for his car one moment and the next moment trying to apply what he learned from organic chemistry to tribology. Redline is an ester-based oil. Esters can be hydrolyzed with heat and moisture, which is Redline's downfall--it can get acidic if there's a moisture problem--esters are hydrolyzed to carboxylic acids. 

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I'm also the guy who's listening to Nas one moment and looking up all the metaphors in his music and listening to Haydn's trumpet concertos the next. Maybe I'm "meant" to be an English teacher. I love writing. I scored a 2300/2400 on the SAT and the only section I aced wasn't reading or math--it was writing. 760/740/800 Reading/Math/Writing. I love writing as if I had a knife in my hands instead of a pen. I can write with a very sharp, pointed, and angry tone, and it's cathartic. 

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I'm meant to be so much more than a fucking parts guy in a bad area of my city known for gang violence. I put in my two weeks the other day. I'm glad I had the maturity to put in 2 weeks. I've ghosted every single one of my other jobs (I've had at least 6 or 7 jobs by now). It's a small step, but it was hard to confront my boss like that. I'm constantly on edge due to my BPD--I can't stand the slightest shred of criticism. I didn't want my boss to get mad or angry at me because I don't respond well to that--I either get extremely sad or extremely angry--yeah, I split like crazy. 

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But I don't know exactly what I should/can be. I want to study engineering to some extent, but I'm afraid of being seen as a nerd, and I'm afraid of failing physics 2 again. I hated physics 2--every part of it. I also don't want to study anymore. College is over. I don't want to be nearly 30 and stuck around 18-year-olds. But I don't want to be stuck at home with abusive retirees.  Maybe I should get into "business" instead of a technical field. Maybe I should get an MBA. Maybe I should do sales since apparently, I'm so good at it. But I don't know if I'm a strong candidate for a MBA. I can probably ace the GMAT, but can I manage people? I'm not a good manager. I can barely manage myself. But it'd be a non-nerdy field of work--getting an MBA and becoming some sort of manager or something. 

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Tl;dr--what do you think I should pursue?