It’s been years my parents and grandparents have tortured me and have not let me grow up. I still live with them as they have made me dependent on them and their behaviour has caused me to have a myriad of mental health problems that I want to break away from. I have found a girl who loves me and I have told her that I am messed up and keep harming myself physically but she says she will not leave me. Despite being fit and going to the gym I still have problems getting it up and can’t have sx with her. She says it’s not a problem but I feel like I won’t be able to satisfy her and she will leave me. Idk what to do.

How do I enact revenge on my parents and grandparents and my bullies? How do I stop feeling guilty when I am happy? What do I do about my ED? My psychiatrist is also treating me badly and telling me that sx is not something important and this is not a problem. I am very very guilty at all times for being slightly happy. I just want to keep studying and that’s what my parents brought me up for. I stay at their place and study all day.