I’ve had a handful of depressive episodes since 2014. Each time I can see myself slowly falling into severe depression over the course of months. I try to stop it from getting to catastrophe mode where I’m perpetually anxious and depressed for sometimes weeks.

When I’m in this state of depression/anxiety, it’s incredibly difficult to eat and nothing sounds appetizing. The feeling in my throat and stomach is the way some might feel before giving a presentation, but it doesn’t subside because there is no immediate resolution.

The reason I call it Groundhog Day depression/anxiety is every morning I wake up and I’m incredibly nauseous, often having to throw up before starting my day. Breakfast is almost impossible to stomach. Lunch is a bit easier. Dinner is almost normal, though still much smaller than it should be. Essentially, as the day goes on I get less anxious/depressed and my appetite increases. However, no matter how happy or normal I feel going to bed, I wake up feeing nauseous and anxious/depressed. During these times, basically starve myself, while desperately trying to eat food. It’s awful.

I’m hoping that someone else has experienced this and has ways to manage this. At least to manage symptoms I’ve found wet foods like soups are easier to stomach because my gag reflex isn’t as impacted by wet foods. Any advice is welcome.