He makes me feel weak. I fucking hate him for it. It makes me so goddamn insecure, because he knows me so well. I don't know why, but after all that shit that went down in the last time, I had to show myself. And if anyone ever saw me, you wouldn't think I have BPD. I'm a woman, normally described as a tomboy, always act like I don't give a shit and like the chill smoker of the group I'm in. It sounds so cringe just talking about it, but I am. I'm arrogant and funny, that's just how it is. And I started loving myself for it. But in every single relationship I'm in, it gets to a point where I cry or talk about my emotions. The second I realize I showed someone my other half, I get silent and insecure. Why? I have no idea. It just happens. He showed me so much understanding and love today, but all I wish for is to stay alone now. Because when it starts, it's over. Is there anything (other than being shitty about it, because I actually love him and I still don't wanna hurt him) I can do to get a reverse effect? Because I know exactly this will, otherwise, end everything.