I first got diagnosed when i was 22, and proceeded to get offended and bitched at the psychiatrist until she left it off my diagnoses.  Which remains the most BPD thing ive ever done.  

And i worked on ptsd. Until it became clear there was something else at play. 

Started paying attention to the BPD when i was 28. 

Now I'm 34 and I feel like a geriatric person with BPD. Like. I see symptoms in a lot of other people in my life and I isolate so hard because I cant manage others' emotions.  I have found a low pay, low hours job that keeps me living ok and i have no future. 

Im in the moment and thats ok. I usually feel like my life is over and I'm just watching others move through their lives while I finished the game early and I'm just doing sidequests because the main storyline is over for me. 

Sigh. Maybe this is venting and not DAE. 

I dont know what direction is up anymore.