I am diagnosed with major depressive disorder and anxiety, and I've had it my whole life. I don't remember when it started-- maybe when I was very young, like 4 or 5. I had (and still have) a very toxic family environment, which might have been the cause for it. I'm sad every day and can without a doubt say that I've never been happy. But I've never harmed myself, and because of this I feel like a poser or a fake when I say that I have depression. I do get thoughts of it, but only thoughts. My question is - are there levels to this? Is it normal to not harm yourself and still have depression?