Sometimes I feel like I was born wrong, sometimes I feel like I'm utterly a mistake, sometimes I feel broken and that I will never be able to heal. The pattern persists, for whatever the reason I just can't forgive myself. And it's funny, because I can "forgive" others. I can't trust them, but I can accept their mistakes and move on. If I let myself merely wonder about something I did wrong, well, I'll be depressed as fuck for a day. It usually happens when the mistake is involved with mental disability. If I have a rage episode and break something I liked, if I'm unable to read something important and do something wrong, or if say things to people by impulse and then regret it. I know I'd feel bad no matter what, but these kinds of incidents don't help a bit. I just feel like I can solve any problem. I'm smart, I'm logical, I'm in control and if I put my mind to work on anything long enough I'll manage to do it. But I'll never fix me. I'll be a mistake, a failure by my own core no matter what I do and I should feel like shit for it. Doesn't seam any fair to me.