Not looking for advice just want to vent. I know this'll sound silly..

I am fed up of trying to find hobbies, the emptiness, the loneliness, trying to distract myself, being endlessly haunted by how I feel, experimenting with medications that make things worse, no one understanding how I feel, the near constant worrying/anxiety, questions over my identity and all that shit... nothing has worked for me and it hurts so much. All that 'help' from others and trying by myself has perhaps made me understand things better, though I still struggle in a big way.

I was playing that doodle champion island games thing on google and it was making me cry because... Idk it's all so lovely. 

Fuck, I just want a talking owl thing, a ninja cat and a blossom tree to hug me and go cycling with me through a lovely old lane or eat noodles with.