I have not been diagnosed with bipolar disorder yet but have been hospitalized for manic episodes multiple times. I have been switching from severely depressed to full blown mania. I do not sleep at night and I have manic delusions and paranoid thoughts. I get agitated easily when I am having episodes and push everyone away from me. My paranoia and anxiety are also at higher levels and I end up not being able to calm down. I am autistic and cannot process stimuli that well so I shake out of control and laugh and have rapid speech. I know speech and rapid movements and inappropriate behaviors are associated with mania but sometimes I look like I am having a seizure because of how intense it is. I cannot sit still in a chair and bang my head. The mania impairs my functioning to a point where I cannot think straight and will do things I don’t usually do. My old doctors put notes that I might have bipolar symptoms and it has been getting worse. I am a childhood schizophrenic and whenever I have psychotic symptoms my voices will change somewhat depending on my state of mind. I was told that bipolar disorder in teenagers is different from adults and that I will probably end up with the disorder into my adulthood. I was pulled out of school because I cannot function. I am going to a psychiatric unit soon to hopefully get treated. Either I am trying to do risky things and try to spend money that I don’t have or I am on the verge of suicide. It is really scary and annoying to deal with. I would like some advice. I literally haven’t been on meds in months and haven’t had a psych visit or proper therapy.