And I’m at a point now where the depression is “back” and it’s eating me from the inside out. 
I really believed that I was over it and better. 
But I am an empty shell of the person I could be. 
And so disappointed in myself for not doing better. 
I don’t want to carry on like this, but I’m at a point where I feel as though this is who I am. This is all I can be. And the hopelessness is so terrifying. 
I have an exterior facade where I act put together and successful. But the truth has been leaking out too much and now it’s taken over me. 
I am not okay, and I haven’t been for a long time. I am an empty shell searching for myself, but she’s been lost for such a long time that I’m not sure if she exists anymore. And I guess embracing it is the only way forward. 
I want to move forward so badly. It just seems like so much work. 
I haven’t been human for 3 years. Who am I? Who do I want to be? How do I become her?