Ugh so I’m sure you all understand this, but I’m going insane with my own thoughts. 

I have a solid group of friends around me where I live and they’ve helped me through my mental health Hell this year. 
But recently, a lot of them, especially the ones who I’ve always been closest to, have been out of town / busy for the last few weeks. Let’s call them Mary &amp; David. 
Now they’re back, and it feels like they haven’t missed me or cared that we haven’t all hung out recently. One of my roommates, Sarah is also friends with Mary &amp; David. 
I found out last night that they all had decided to go see a movie the previous night, and then hung out today at a coffee shop together for a few hours. I haven’t been invited or asked to join for either of these activities. I know it’s not necessary for them to invite me to everything they invite Sarah to, but I would assume that since we’re all friends and I live with Sarah, that I would be included in the plans. 

Also, I constantly feel like Mary &amp; David enjoy hanging out with Sarah so much more than with me. 
This last year has been really hard and so in a lot of social situations, I kind of go into a quiet space and don’t want to talk a ton, but I still want to be social. 

Sarah and I have very similar personalities, and living with her honestly exhausts me a lot because she is VERY loud and overwhelming. She is a wonderful person, though. 
Mary &amp; David are quieter people in general and Sarah definitely helps them open up more, and I used to be able to do that with them, but because I feel like they don’t enjoy me anymore, I don’t like talking as much. I just feel as though Mary &amp; David are content to replace me with Sarah, and it makes me question my purpose in my importance with these people and my general existence. I know I’m an important person to this world blah blah blah, but this just adds to my internal rhetoric of depression &amp; self hatred. 

I know this is super rambly, and I’m sorry, I just need somewhere I can vent it all, slash maybe some advice from fellow BPD-ers. 