sorry for the long post i kind of rambled 

context: i’m 16 and my anxiety and ocd over the past few months has been spiralling and getting worse and worse with each day. 

i struggle with health anxiety a lot and this is especially worse as my physical symptoms scare me so much: i have chest pain mainly but also my leg has been shaking since november 2020 (i can’t stop it or control it), the shortness of breath, and that feeling of a lump being in your throat. 
it just all feels too much. i am quite suicidal and i have self harmed before too, so a lot of my anxiety also comes from that. 

i have an assessment with camhs (child adolescent mental health services) on monday and im dreading it because i’ve been with them before and they were horrible. (this time i need to be referred in order to get meds) 

right now i have a really bad chest pain and it just won’t go away and it’s really scaring me, i just get so overwhelmed by these symptoms and it’s a constant cycle for me because my anxiety causes the symptoms and then i get more anxious over the symptoms and it spirals until i break down. 

i don’t really have anybody to tell but this subreddit or r/ocd about these problems because my family (apart from my older sister) is unsupportive of me and i don’t feel safe opening up about my mental health to them 

i have panic attacks every single day and i just feel so out of control