My shrink says I meet many (but not all) of the criteria for BPD, and has given me the workbook for me to do DBT on my own.  She just won't give me the official diagnosis of BPD because she knows I probably wouldn't react well to having that label slapped on me for good.

Thing is, I would welcome the label.  It might help me to access more intensive treatments.  I wouldn't have to disclose it to anyone unless I wanted to.  And there are lots of things that I've been too ashamed to admit to her in the five years that I've been seeing her.  She said I don't engage in risk-taking behaviours...but I do, occasionally.  Once my boyfriend said very diplomatically that he didn't like the song I had put on the radio, and I started crying hysterically and driving down the little country road at 140 km/h.  (Then threw my iPad out the window when we got into the town we were going to.  He didn't notice and therefore I didn't get the reaction I was looking for, so I had to drive back and get it later...)  It was such a ridiculous and pathetic incident that I never told her about that even though it happened over a year ago.

I don't think she knows how extreme my mood swings are, because I tend to only talk about how depressed I've been feeling - not about all the sudden outbursts of anger.

(By the way, don't we only have to meet five out of the nine criteria to get the diagnosis?)

Still I'm quite happy to identify as having BPD, so that's what I'm going to do.  Everything I've read about it on here and elsewhere online resonates with me so so much.  True, I'm probably on the more mild end of the spectrum, with the occasional episode of extreme behaviour; maybe I'm a "quiet" BPDer (I know that's not an officially recognised term.)

I'm not quite sure what the point of this post is.  Maybe others have similar experiences?  Is there anyone else on here who hasn't actually qualified for the diagnosis is it still feels like a lot of the criteria describe them?  I also feel like I have to explain myself before I start posting lots of different threads about how I've been feeling lately - because to some extent I do feel like a bit of an impostor!

Edit: Spelling; I wrote this using the speech recognition function on my iPad and it isn't always accurate....