I’m pregnant, I didn’t want to get pregnant, I gave up drinking and smoking and eating everything I love, and now my husband and his best friend who is also my ex are getting drunk and high in my house right now and I just want to fucking die. Can I just say that I want to fucking die. My hormones are everywhere, my boobs are gigantic and painful, I can’t fucking masturbate but I keep having sex dreams. I just don’t feel like myself at all. I don’t know what myself is but I feel especially far from it and I hate everything and everyone, especially myself because I’m obviously a monster.