So off the bat I'm going to say that I'm not officially diagnosed, my mental health...agent caseworker person who works with my PCP and works with the place I'm getting my new therapist and psych as however mentioned that she believes according to my files that I may have BPD and didn't want to refill my current medication unless I absolutely needed it (Its also for pain along with depression) so that I could kind of have a 'clean slate' to start with.

Everything she said made sense to me and hit...every single symptom I kept telling therapists were an issue and they immediately ignored in favor of just shoving more medication at me that wouldn't do much to help.

This, in general, has sparked hope in me to finally have some of these symptoms figured out. I was thinking about just telling the therapist, hey, its you and the psychs job to diagnose me, but I still have [list of symptoms here] and if I plan on actually getting better or have any sense of normacy in my life..I really need help with these. 

And just explain my issues with past therapists, but..that also makes me nervous like "What if they think I'm just making this up" or "What if they get mad at me" or osmething, but at the same time I'm so tired of countless therapists in the past 10 years just ignoring what I keep telling the mI need help with. It just sort of leaves me with a "Why am I paying you to NOT listen to anything I say?"

At this point, if the psych could agree or not with my caseworker, I could care less, but I'd kill to have any sort of help with my laundry list of symptoms. 

I don't have this fear with other doctors, I just went to my PCP (which is how I met with my caseworker to talk to her) and was like "Well I think if have a kidney infection, either way, this is what I'm feeling and what I need to go away" but..when it comes to mental health, I just get more flighty and nervous. 