I’ve always dealt with mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. In middle school, kids talk about their future and what they want to do in life, but for me, I simply could not imagine my future because I thought I’d already be gone by then. This mindset haunted me and still haunts me to this day. Although I was a 4.0 student and captain of the dance team in high school, I still thought that I wouldn’t make it to college. 

As the years went by, I was slowly accepting that I didn’t have much time left, but here I am today, alive. I’m still struggling with my mental health, but in my 3rd year of college double majoring in biomedical sciences and psychology. (Why did I choose to double major? It’s so that I can figure out what’s wrong with me and possibly save myself.)

I have no sense of direction because of this mindset though. I honestly feel so lost and don’t know what to do anymore. I only have 3 semesters left before I graduate college and it’s scaring me. Like do I go to graduate school? Continue my studies? Should I get a job? Will I or someone be able to cure me? Will I be happy? Will I still be alive? Who knows.