After a really bad episode or even just looking back at past episodes, I feel so ashamed. Especially to those I’ve hurt. It’s something I think about at least a few times a week where I’m like “I wish I didn’t do/say that” “Why did I act like that why was I so horrible” etc. I used to react to every emotion I felt in the moment and it caused so many of my relationships and friendships to fail. I didn’t have any DBT skills and didn’t even know about having BPD but that isn’t an excuse for hurting the people I loved. I don’t know. I’m so full of shame looking back at those moments where it’s merited to call me a crazy bitch or somethin