I want to clarify that I am not formally diagnosed with BPD at the moment, but I am going through a process and potentially may be with something. I relate to the fact about a lot of things with BPD, especially the FP, so I thought I’d post.

My best friends ever, the guy I love, is done with me. We’ve had such high highs but I always cause the low lows because if he even strikes a nerve I go off and him because it doesn’t fill my fantasy of what I made in my head. I get such mood swings and get super angry at him and now he’s finally done and he told me after a year of constant fights because of me.

I’m so lost and upset that I’m debating just killing myself. He’s literally my world and I love him so much. I don’t know what to do? He’s just leaving me and I can’t cope with the fact at all. I’m such a toxic influence so I don’t know what to do with myself.