(i know this is long but  please please read it i feel so alone) 

it’s been 7 weeks since i moved across the country to go to college. My whole life i’ve felt like an alien, i can’t connect with anyone and am almost completely  unable to talk to girls. I feel excruciatingly lonely even when i’m with some of the friends i’ve made (who of course i’m already getting sick of) All of my peers are having the time of their lives being in college and living in a new exciting city, but im the worst i’ve been in a long time. The stress is killing me. I’m having panic attacks daily, my depression has come back and punched me in the fucking face and stomach simultaneously, i miss my family (and dogs) so fucking much it hurts. My bulimia is quickly getting out of hand. As i write this i’m alone in my dorm watching netflix and have purged twice after a $60 postmates binge. I don’t want to worry my family with all of this. I just keep asking myself is this even worth it ? I’ll never be able to function as a member of society. The only thing stopping me from ending this pain and killing myself is that it would absolutely destroy my family and they’re the only thing in this world that matters to me i can’t do that to them. But this pain. This fucking pain. 