Of course, there is a lot more back story. About 16 years of it.
Anyone who tries to use 'this is what random people on reddit say about you in after reading 1 page'. - doesn't under stand a relationship.
I'm trying to understand my wife.

She suffers from anxiety and depression. She's been medicated for a long time. 

We just had a fight, about cleaning the oven. 
She said her anxiety is preventing her from doing it, and she's making herself feel like shit that she can't do a simple thing. 

My response of "OK, let's do this together" - was met with yelling and screaming that if she wanted help doing it, she would have asked for help. 

Next, I said that I "also" want 'us' to address the underlying anxiety, as I feel it has gotten significantly worse (shitty Corona world for 9 months... No wonder there.) - and that I am tiered of feeling like your clean up crew, and not your partner in battle with the anxiety. 

This was met with "I'm dealing with my anxiety by asking you to help. That just asking for help is hard, and my way of coping with the anxiety.
And that telling me to go fix my problems is just making me feel worse about myself than I already do, and you are suppose to help me as a suposidly caring spose, not make it harder. "

I don't understand her. I don't understand anxiety. 
Needless to say, we have SERIOUS communication problems in our relationship that" also" need to be worked on. 

Can I get help seeing things from her view? 
As from the non anxiety view I have, I just don't understand the reactions. I'm tiered of feeling like her clean up crew, as this week it's the oven cleaning, next week it will be calling the bank, week after going food shopping... And all get told 'if you want to help just do the thing to take anxiety blocks off my tower. "

Thanks.