I have been working as a hotel entertainer for 5 years during summers while just studying at uni through the rest of my year. 

I have a muscle disability and I was trying to get actual medical help, but right now the process paused and I do not have much time before I leave and go to another city to work in hotel animation. Because of my health condition I am in constant pain, I can barely walk, not talking about jumping and dancing. This year has been extra hard on my, and mentally I am also very unwell. 

My folks and home does not see neither of my health conditions as a serious thing, nor they unnderstand what is the issue. They have been silently judging me for going to work for shorter period. Instead of 4 month I am going for 2. And it may seem like not a lot, but I can't sleep casuse I cry at nights thinking that I need to go there. 

I will be alone there, and it only make things worse. I will need to pretend I am happy, pretend I am not anxious to speak to people, to talk to them, pretend I am not in pain just by walking not even saying running and dancing. 

I've done this so many times before, but I do not know if I can this time. Last year people hated me in my team, we had a big fight and it left a huge impact on me. 

I do not know what to do.