Depression as a truck driver is so hard. It literally takes your soul out and tears piece by piece off of it. You don’t understand how bad it is until you’re this far gone. Every morning I have to fight the urge to put a bullet in my brain. When I win that battle and finally get out of bed, the second battle comes around. It then is a day long struggle to not park this truck and leave everything in it and take off walking. Just disappear and forget everything. No real destination, just away from the pain. Away from the daily struggles. Away from the reminders of a life you fight for and will never have. I’m surrounded by people but I’m so alone. No one notices my struggle and I don’t want to burden them. No one notices that I’m not ok. I will go to bed and toss and turn all night, just to repeat it all again tomorrow. Does it end?