My bf has bpd and we had been dating through discord, but now we're together and having many more arguments. For the first six months or so of the online relationship we didn't have a single argument, but then we started having more and now that I went to visit him we're having like 5 arguments a day. So through a day we go from being ok and cuddly to not ok at all to ok to not ok etc.

My autism doesn't help, because I often get abstracted in my mind and he has to repeat what he says a few times so he gets annoyed because he thinks I'm ignoring him, and I also act in nonstandard ways in certain situations which seems to be considered rude. I act a bit overly logical sometimes, which also seems to be an issue.

He used to call me perfect and I told him he shouldn't see me like that because I have my defects, and when he starts finding out those defects (which irl happens more easily than online) the image of perfection would shatter and it would be worse, which seems to be what's happening right now.

Wish we could go back to the time when we didn't argue, or at least argue less. Right now I'm reaching a point where I'm scared to talk if he seems like he's about to get angry (well doesn't yell or anything, just in a passive way), but if I don't talk it's also bad to him. I guess it's something that we both have to work on, but it's hard when he control the way feelings spur and I can't control the stuff I say or do that triggers him. So I don't know what to do to help him be less irritable.