i’m sick of feeling the way i do. i’ve been dealing with my mental problems for about 6 years and it just feels like i’m never going to get better or be in a place where i am satisfied. i want to disappear or simply just not exist anymore, similar to just wanting to die. but i do not want to hurt anyone, i always hope to instead die from some tragic accident so everyone could accept my death better but it’s still so exhausting to hope for. i’ve fucked up my life and i don’t even think i can graduate high school, i’m a senior now and i’ve never felt so useless and alone, i truly want to get better but each time i try i end up failing and feeling worse. it’s hopeless for me. i also ended up self harming again after staying clean for 2 years and it just feels like i’m at a point where i can’t get better, now i just feel tired all the time with an aching feeling full of pain. i’m afraid of never finding a reason to continue living.