well, kinda. I had a meltdown at work, and they told me to go home. They told me to come back when I can get a fitness for work certificate. I saw my doctor today, and he's not prepared to give me one as he knows my history and shit. So I guess I'm unemployed.

It wasn't the first meltdown and it sure as shit won't be the last. So I am currently applying for disability, and hopefully will get approved. I just can't handle work :/. I'm hoping to not be on it that long. A year at the most, I think. Just while I get my shit together and figure out what the fuck to do.

On a related note, when I was having that meltdown, I texted a friend and told her I was feeling suicidal and shit. So she called the police, and the police found me and told me I had go to hopsital, but I told them I knew my rights and that since I don't pose a threat to myself or anyone, I don't have to go. Anyway, long story short, even though I wanted to go to hospital, I couldn't and aren't at this point.

don't really know why I'm posting this. Don't really have any friends aside from that one that called the police, but since that episode, it stressed out so much that she's stopped talking to me while she recovers and shit, so I guess you lot are all I have right now.

Edit:

I guess I kind of feel like a failure. I'm 30 and back on welfare and shit again. I had so many hopes and dreams when I was growing up. I wanted to be a doctor. And then this BPD shit happened. And now I'm 30 and on welfare :/