I'm in my late 30s and just got my disability approved for bpd/ptsd/major depression symptoms.  We went to the bank to open an account.  It took me three tries today but my partner helped.  
The last time I started a bank account I was 17 and starting college.  I had a career plan.  I had this life and jobs and goals that proved to be delusions or rather just not practical.  My mental illness.  What do I have instead?
My partner doesn't really understand why I'm upset, it took almost two years to get it and now I'm sad and emotional.  I don't totally understand either.  But I'm proud that I'm not letting my emotions spiral I'm using my coping skills.  

I know my life can still have meaning and purpose but I find my thoughts going in circles.  What can I even hope for? So much I know but it feels elusive.  

Responses are welcome thanks. Especially if you are on disability.