I split quite frequently but I've toned down a lot over the years, though that process of telling myself it's not always adequate to do that, is draining as hell.

Recently I got into a fight w my very good friend, which escalated from small misunderstandings here and there and initially also from her doing me wrong and asking for forgiveness. But things happened and things are now messier than expected and I honestly don't know where we stand right now. Also got a message from here implying that she was done and was low key dropping me from being so close. (When I should be the one who drop her in any way)

Anyway I cried about it for 2h yesterday til my heart ached because she is a dear friend. But then even though she did me wrong, I found myself searching for the perfect Christmas gifts for her and also imagining scenarios that we'd end up making up. Note she is not my FP.

Sigh now idk what to feel because I always get soft hearted and maybe I miss the validation she gives sometimes. Idk.