Throughout the year, I have endured a stay at a mental hospital for a week, gotten kicked out of my parents’s house, lived on couches, dealt with a abusive, bipolar roommate, and now I’m (almost) on square one again. After I managed to get away from the abusive roommate and moved back in with my family, it felt to me like my mother and I couldn’t get along. I was trying to adjust, get out of the trauma the roommate put me through, and she didn’t care. I felt she was unfairly treating me differently than my siblings, particularly one of my sisters. That sister, I swear, is her golden child. She’s treated better than me and the rest of our siblings combined. I’m angry that when she went back home a year ago, she never had to give our parents money each week like I did. If it wasn’t for the favoritism, I wouldn’t even mind giving my folks half of my paycheck each week. 

Yesterday, our arguments became one too many, and she kicked me out. Half of me is honestly happy about it, but the other half is angry, bitter, upset about it. I can’t believe she would throw her own child out into the streets KNOWING that child had nowhere else to go. If it wasn’t for my grandparents, I would have been wandering the streets all night last night. I’m thankful for them. And 

I have a friend I’m leaning on for emotional support, but other than that, I feel like I have nobody. In a sense, I have my family…but even if they have given me shelter, I don’t feel any kind of love. My own egg donor doesn’t even seem to care about me almost being out on the streets on a cold night like last night, she’s more worried about my other sister starting school (she’ll be 3 in June). Honestly, I’m done with her. She was never supportive of me, always made me feel bad for having mental illnesses, she’s proven time and time again how little she actually cares about me and my safety. 

Almost everybody blames ME for the fight, for getting into this situation. I most definitely had faults, but it’s okay for my egg donor to throw me out like I was a unwanted dog? What if my grandparents didn’t take me in, and something was to happen to me during the night? I’m a female, I could have easily been kidnapped or sexually assaulted, or even KILLED.