Hey all, I think this is my first post here. I really appreciate this community.

So dating with BPD is obviously really difficult, I’m actually really scared cuz I hear chances are that my relationships don’t last. I haven’t actually tried to get into a relationship since getting sober for the first time almost 4 years ago. I had a couple relapses over 3 months ago and I know I posted stuff here on Reddit while completely out if it, but I don’t know which subs and at this point I’m too afraid to check.

Anyway, I (25F) have dated since getting sober but only for fun. I just started seeing this guy who I think I might like and that absolutely terrifies me. I can only remember one time when I dated someone, in sobriety, and I didn’t fully “despise” them and hence try and sabotage everything or otherwise put them on a pedestal. And let me tell you that was WEIRD. 

So, right now ive started seeing this guy just about 2 weeks ago. I keep trying to tell myself that it’s okay if it doesn’t work out, it’s okay if I never see him again because I was okay without him and I’ll be okay either way. I keep trying to find proof that he’s lost interest, that he once showed interest but now he doesn’t wanna pursue anything with me because ive been too distant. 

My question is, at what point does one disclose that they have BPD? It’s not so I can use it as an excuse, and anyway I don’t think ive shown him any symptoms. I talk to my friends before doing anything impulsive (blocking/deleting him/telling him to fuck off) so luckily I haven’t done any of that. I’m just scared, obviously emotionally unstable and not wanting to screw this up. And I mean if it does go tits up that’s okay too, I just wanna try my best and keep learning how to do better.

TL;DR: I have BPD, just started seeing someone who seems nice. Do I tell them about my diagnosis?

Thanks x