Lately, I've been feeling like absolute...crud.
Around my birthday last year, in September, I decided I should probably do something about my crappy mental state. Diagnosed with agoraphobia, major depression, and general anxiety disorder.

My doc put me on some meds (Lexapro) and everything was actually going well for a time. We started at 10, went to 15 and all was well. But these days, I feel like I'm right back where I started and I've been very careful to note what I've been feeling or the lack of, I guess.

Err...I'm not sure how to describe it all but some of the things I've noticed is:

- When I have nothing to do and there are things I want to do (like read a book or play a certain game or just working out) but can't bring myself to do them. Not out of a lack of motivation or energy. I just can't. I'll keep telling myself I'll crack the book open or something like that but I just can't even start the motion to do so.

- I've been getting more and more affected by sound lately. I tend to throw on some lofi during the day but if it goes beyond a certain level (which is still generally very low) I have to turn it down immediately or it completely derails me from whatever I was doing at the moment, with some annoyance thrown in.

- When my brain decides to do something, I can do it but it my brain doesn't want to do something, NOTHING will allow me to push through or anything like that.

- I always seem to need very specific directions along with why each step is being taken whereas most people will naturally be able to take directions and move along, no hesitation.

Anyway, what I'm looking for is...advice. I need someone to point me in some direction. I've been battling depression for longer than the year I've spent trying to get better but I feel it's possible I may be missing something which is stopping me from getting better and I'm not sure what. I felt maybe coming here would help because I've still got so much to learn in terms of mental health...