I got diagnosed with BPD but I realized I have a few things that aren't really known "symptoms" and maybe it's just me and I'm sorry if I come off really psychotic, because I am and I really need to stop this behaviour. I am trying. 

I get extremely obsessed with people have done me wrong, it turns into an extreme hatred that lasts for YEARS. It's an obsession which turns into something that I just can't get over for a very, very long time. I will spend hours a day looking at their social media hoping for their downfall, anything good that happens to them I get so annoyed and angered. To be honest, this only happens to me when these people are actual "bad" people. For example, i spent months crying to my best friend about my abusive ex dumping me, she would comfort me and everything. She ended up SLEEPING with him and lying about it. She has a tendency to cheat on all her boyfriends and has genuinely (not to slut shame) slept with almost every guy she is friends with. It infuriates me to this day, this happened almost 2 years ago.

Or my boyfriends ex girlfriend who I'm so jealous of. She tried to get my boyfriend to dump me calling me ugly and that she still loved him. She had him wrapped around her finger and manipulated him, and emotionally abused him the entire relationship. She does this to all her current boyfriends as well. I constantly look at her page and am so damn angry at her. Its been a year..

And my ex. He treated me like shit for 4 years, cheated on me, everything in the book. 2 years later I'll still break down and cry because I miss what we had before he turned into an abusive, cheating pos. 

I don't want these feelings. I want to GET OVER this shit. I just can't. I can't totally get over anything bad that has happened to me.