Over the past year I have shouldered a brutal amount of grief. 
Losing friends and family, I am longing for all of them. 

My most recent bereavement has hurt me more than all. I long for my phone chats, the support he offered. The fun, the good times which were never meant to end. 

Yet here I am, feeling low. 

The inexplicable feeling of guilt I have hurts me more and more everyday. Could I have done something? Should have I have cherished those call and times so much more? 

My mantle is adorned with treasured photos. I feel like I'm living in the past; wholly incapable of moving forward. 

I still speak to you everyday mate and I hope you listen. I want you to come home.