 

We have 2 kids , one is 2.5, one is 4 months. I'm scared for them. She definitely has PPD, there is not denying it. She is closed off, very depressed, and fights with me about everything. She nitpicks and looks for anything to fight about, and if I don't give in, if I offer the slightest explanation of my actions, she blows up. Everyday she will find something small to blow a fuse about. for example, the other day, she was home sick, and she usually gets the kids stuff ready for day care the night before and I drop them off in the am, but she was sick so I did it in the am. So here's how the day went. Wake up, get kids dressed and fed, packed and made bottles, lunch box and drop off at school. No big deal, I love my kids and ill do anything for them. I leave work early to pick them up, we get home, I give the baby a bottle, clean the kitchen, hang out with the toddler, begin to cook dinner. All while she is in bed resting. So dinner is ready, my daughter goes to get her mother, and she comes out yelling "this is how you sent her to school, in these pants, their to big, their hanging off her body, her diaper is full"

I calmly said "ok, they weren't hanging off her this am, maybe the diaper is too full and causing her pants to sag down" And then she blew up further because I defended my self. Had she came out and just said "hey babe, thanks for taking care of the kids so I can rest, these pants are a little too big, maybe wait a couple of months to use them again" I would say "fine, no problem, hope you're feeling ok."

She stormed out of the house, daughter started crying, it was a whole scene. Something similar happened 2 nights before with my cooking dinner and the kitchen getting smoky and her yelling at me again.

Its always a little thing that she blows up into a huge fight. I got 50 text messages from her about a old dirty mini fridge that she wanted me to remove from the 2nd floor of our house, so I did it and put it on the back porch until garbage day, and when she saw it, she proceeded to flip out about it. for no other reason than to have something to bitch about.

She will always go back to "you're a lair, cheater, scum bag" Which I will explain below:

1)years ago she hacked my phone and found text messages from before we lived together and found some dumb text that me and my friends sent to these girls we met while we went to a lake house for a few days. It was all stupid nonsense, not real, non of us were trying to actually meet up and have any type of relationship with any of these girls, we were just messing around.

2) while we were searching for a house to buy an attractive real estate agent showed us a few houses, I sent her profile to my friends group chat because, she's a good looking girl and it was nothing more than, "check out this real estate agent"

3) while in the supermarket parking lot, some skanky girl with her ass hanging out of her pants walks by me. I took out my phone, took a quick video and sent it to my friends saying "wtf, who goes out like this, its scary to have daughters"

So she brings up all these little nonsense things when she fights with me. "you leave knives in the kitchen sink, you don't cover your mouth fully when you sneeze, you don't wash your hands long enough, you don't always remember to put a trash bag in when you take the garbage out, "you don't buy the kids clothing."

Let me say that I am a very good father, I am home every night after work, I never "stop off for a beer and wings" I never drink at home, I don't neglect anything. I cook almost every night, always clean up, I have added more chores because she said I need to do more, but of course its not enough.

we had a blow out fight, my mother came over and poured her heart out to her to seek family therapy, to which she is declining. She says she will handle it "her way" Which funny enough, is to go on reddit, and tell these insane stories about me where everyone's answer is "leave him, take the kids and go." If someone makes a comment that she doesn't agree with, she deletes it. She lays in bed all night reading comments about how toxic I am. etc etc etc.

I'm very scared for my kids, she wont hurt them physically but emotionally they will be all over the place if she continues to behave like this.

I am going to therapy by myself for now. But I am at my wits end. its a very difficult time and I don't know what to do.