Hi everyone, this is my first post here! I don't think I've ever been the most not-depressed person ever but in the past year, I've struggled a lot with my mental health. It's surely a combination of being in my late 20's, the pandemic, issues with my parents, being gay and carrying all sorts of trauma, work and university stress.

I met my partner 2 years ago and he is the most caring, loving person I know and I love him so much but I feel like sometimes our energies clash. I remember when we didn't live together and I was going through things, I would just tell him that *"all I need is implode for a few days in bed and do nothing and I'll get better"* and he would look at me like it was something super sad and dark but I don't know, I feel like sometimes I need to recharge. 

Ever since we moved in together more than a year ago this dynamic kind of changed, I feel like every time I hit a time like that, I have to keep behaving as if everything is okay. It's not that I can't talk to him about stuff, but he just won't let me be down and it's kind of affecting me in a worse way. I feel like I don't have the space to be depressed and I've never felt so anxious and trapped as I feel now.

I get this feeling of claustrophobia about my life, I feel like I need to get away but not from my boyfriend, not from where I live, more like from the life I'm living. Even though I'm in a place I wanted to be in for the longest time.

I also suffer from tinnitus, that makes me feel much worse when I feel bad. I don't know what to do, like I'm not asking for my boyfriend to be an enabler and I know that it sucks to have to deal with this but scaring me to show him this side of me is making me feel worse