For over 5 years my identity has been "disability support worker". I had a job I loved SO much. It was the most satisfying job I've ever had. 


But then I developed a chronic illness that I'm still waiting for a diagnosis on and had to give my job up. I slowly went from 30+ hours a week to 4. 4 hours that I could barely ever get to. 


After months of my amazing boss being so understanding we came to a mutual agreement that I needed to be replaced. So now who am I?


 Depression has hit HARD this last week and my poor SO has been copping behaviours we haven't seen in ages, specifically splitting. But my job loss happened in February, why's it only hitting this hard now? I know I currently am being squished by the anxiety the whole world is feeling so that's not helping. Please tell me someone else knows what I mean by that. I'm 100% that I'm feeling every single person in the world anxiety right now.


I'm so empty. Don't even want to lose myself in game land. Poor Arthur Morgan is getting neglected big time. My Stardew Valley farm is frozen in time. I spent 2 hours in front of my PC just staring at the desktop because nothing caught my attention. I can't art, I can't craft. Surprisingly I'm still keeping up with my housework! 


I just... Blah. Everything is beige.