The last couple of days I have been spending time with my mother and I have been dreadfully stressed and sick. During that time I yelled at both her and my cat. This isn't the first time and it probably won't be the last time. Unsurprisingly, I have a history of doing this with other people as well. Along with a slew of other stuff that made our relationships unstable.

I just can't kick this scene out of my head. Shit will hit the fan with finances or something and I will be a terrible wife and mother. I'll be screaming at the woman I love and my children, possibly breaking things out of frustration.

And then hours later I'll act like it didn't happen because I'll be calm. My mood will have swapped back to being functional and I'll feel guilty and try to console them. And then that cycle will repeat until my wife has the sense to leave me and take the kid with me.

Fuck BPD.