A friend of mine that I’ve known for almost half of my entire life visited me from the other side of the country. He left yesterday. I don’t understand why I’ve been really depressed these last two days. He pissed me off so many times while he was here, to the point where I wished he would go back sooner. It’s been a while since I’ve woken up this sad. I fucking miss him. 

To make matters worse, I’m on Zoloft, and the suicidal tendencies are knocking on my door harder than ever. It’s difficult to find a point to any of this. 

I know I shouldn’t drink, but I want to drown myself in alcohol right now. Or pop a couple Xanax and leave reality for another twelve hours.