my mom and sis were ecstatic, almost crying from happiness because we were struggling and our chances of enrolling were almost impossible, 
I’m taking the financial accounting course but i’m really anxious, I can’t feel happiness.
I really don’t feel like studying or living anymore, i’ve always loved studying and acquiring knowledge, all my passion is gone, i just live like an empty shell.

i dont know if i can live until 25, i never planned to make it past 19, cant have any desire to continue living and at the same time dont have any plans to kill myself,
i just feel like i might die soon.