When there's a possibility of being "abandoned" by someone (really depends on the person), I start to overthink about them and begin a cycle of loving and hating them. When this happens, I get so confused about what thoughts are real and what thoughts aren't. If I end up abandoning them first, after some time passes and feelings become less intense, I will wonder what I ever saw in them in the first place. But, if they abandon me first (looking back, I've realized I haven't let this happen in a long time) I don't think I'll ever be able to forget it and will remember them as someone special. So, how do I know if I ever really genuinely liked the person, when it just seems to depend on who abandoned who first? Sometimes it drives me crazy that I can't trust my own thoughts or emotions.