(Throwaway account) 

I made a post yesterday on two separate subs about how I plan on killing myself on October 31st, that’s still happening. Part of me thought that if MAYBE someone could convince me not to I’d change my mind (though I thought unlikely) but not a single person said anything in comments on either posts or anything in DMs so that just proves that I should and that literally no one will give a fuck when I do. 

I havent decided what time I’m going to be doing it on Monday but roommates go to work in afternoon so probably after they leave. 

I’m done, I can’t take it anymore, I have nothing to my name and nothing to live for. My life is in utter shambles, I can’t fix it, no one can fix it, it’s fucking ruined, IM DONE 

This past year was a living hell for me, I was laid off from my job, I had three back to back family emergencies which absolutely wiped my savings and a close family member passed suddenly leaving me devastated.  

I recently got a new job that pays really really well thank god but income won’t be coming in (steadily at least) for at  LEAST a couple weeks and rent is due on the 1st, im already behind and I’m literally fucked if I can’t pay it on Tuesday. And I can’t so I’m done, I’m ending it all. 

My roommates can’t help me and are furious with me that we could be evicted because I can’t pay my portion. 

I’ve been trying everything I possibly can to find a lender who can help me with the loan I need ($2,300) but nothing. It’s like there’s no lenders ANYWHERE. I’ve tried pay day loans but due to my old brother constantly fucking me over financially in the past and absolutely destroying my credit I can’t even get a fucking pay day loan. I’ve tried kijiji, Craigslist, Facebook, I even tried subs here and I can’t find anyone who can help me, the only people who reached out to me were scammers and I’m fucking done. 

I can’t let myself ruin not just my life but my roommates lives too, I’m fucking done, what’s the point, no one can help me, no one wants to help me and I can’t even help myself. 

October 31st I’m ending it all, there’s no fucking point, im done!