I’m not sure if I have bpd or not, but I am diagnosed with bipolar type 2 and severe generalized anxiety, so I don’t really know if this is a bpd problem, or just an anxious/avoidant attachment style. I’m also VERY insecure. So my problem is, I just imagine, OUT OF THIN AIR, that someone (a friend/parent) is mad at me and doesn’t wanna talk to me anymore. So I start ignoring them or treating them badly and lashing out at them, but I swear I don’t mean to do that. I know it sounds silly, like if I know, and actually feel bad about doing that, then I should just stop? Right? But at those moments I just really can’t control my anger, but I feel soooo bad afterwards. I really don’t want to lose any more friends, I’ve lost a lot already. I love them so much, and I’m so mad at myself for being like this, so please, does anyone have a similar problem? How did you get over it?

I’ve always thought about explaining this problem to my friends, but I don’t want them to think of it as just an excuse to be rude.

&amp;#x200B;

Note: I think I have bpd but my psychiatrist doesn’t think so, and at this point I can’t really afford therapy