I've struggled a lot with feeling like no one truly cares for me is truly there for me. I know family and friends love me but I often feel like they all have someone else they care for and love more than me. I know it's selfish but it's hard never having something give you the attention you give to everyone else or love you and protect your feelings they way you do theirs.

Sometimes I feel like my family only tolerates me because they have to you know? Like they love me but they don't like me, at least not as much as they like my brother. He's always been everyone's favourite between us. I'm constantly overshadowed by him to the point where my teachers at school call me by his name. Don't get me wrong, I really do love him but I get sick of all the attention always being on him. I can never have a day where things I solely about me. He left for uni and I though oh ok, maybe now my parents will appreciate me more. Nope! He was still all they talked about. We recently found out he's been into some pretty dodgy stuff and I've now found myself even more invisible iny parents eyes than ever. It freaking hurts because I know they're just worried about him but that's not even an excuse. Even when he isn't back home, they never seemed to notice how I depressed I am. They always have something more important to care about and I have to stay quiet to protect their feelings but they don't even realise how much I try to protect their feelings. I was the first to know about what he was doing but I didn't mention cause I knew it would hurt them. I thought I could convince him to stop on my own and help him on my own. But they figured it out and now he's apparently their only concern! No one sees me! No one sees how hurt I really am by all this and I'm getting sick of it. 

I'm by no means suicidal but being alive doesn't sound very appealing and it hasn't for almost 6 years now. Keep in mind I'm only 18. I can't handle such stress alone but have to keep everything bottled up as to not add more stress to my parents plate. But who th cares about me like that? Who would keep everything bottled up like this to the point of literal depression and severe anxiety just to protect me? No one. Idk man, I just had to say something to someone but I don't feel like I have anyone. 

Feel free to reply to this. I'm desperate to heat what people have to say.