Ughggg I don’t understand how anyone deals with this shit. I’m so sick of me!! It’s like lashing out at work and wanting to be left alone but also wanting everyone to talk to me and try to make me laugh. I hate it how everyone at my job can tell when I’m just having mood swings and I’m sure they all think I’m so lame crazy unstable bitch and I want to look at them and tell them they’re right. All I wanna do is lay in bed and smoke weed. I have been depressed for weeks now and my meds aren’t even doing it’s thing anymore. 
My FP is basically nonexistent and that’s all the more reason to cease my existence. I’m tired of such a vicious cycle, this is a rant and it’s all over the place but I just needed to let it out to people who understands. I wish I could be better for me, but i feel like I don’t even know what’s better. It’s like sadness—-anger—-nothing.