So I regularly self harm, I burn myself with heated metal, slice my wrists, cut my thighs, pour bleach on my skin, ect. I’m also constantly thinking about killing myself, always marking down any option I have of killing myself, and the only thing stopping me is my little siblings. 

I want to tell my therapist but I’m scared of what will happen. Last time I tried to kill myself (hung myself but the branch snapped when I was in a psychotic state) and was sent to the psych ward, however I was kicked out as “someone else had it worse and needed my room”. And then my father locked me in a room and yelled at me for it, telling me I was a liar. So not the best result of the ONE time I came clean.

However I’m worried about myself, my self harm methods are quickly becoming more damaging, the suicidal thoughts are becoming more convincing, ect. But I’m so scared of my father, getting kicked out, and being even more of a disappointment to my parents.

Please give me advice.