Mad that my parents ignored my 4th grade teacher’s recommandation to consult with my family doctor on wether or not I have attention issues and instead scolded me for not being more attentive in class.

Mad that I haven’t been able to maintain any relationships or friendships because I have a hard time having a conversation because my mind wonders elsewhere. Mad that if someone is interested in me enough to ignore that fact, that my mind wonders during coitus and that I couldn’t maintain an erection at the age of 20 and thought that I had an underlying health issue.

Mad that when I was in university and I went to see my family doctor on my own in regards to attention issues he quickly dismissed me and told me that a lot of people try to have medication to use as a party drug and that I don’t have an issue which les me to drop out due to the fact that I wasn’t able to follow my minimal course load.

Mad that when I started having panic attacks and I went to the ER a total of 7 times within a month, thinking that I was having heart attacks, the nurse would pressure me into admitting that I had taken drugs although I was completely sober at the time.

Mad that for the longest time I thought I was stupid and problematic because whenever I would talk about my issues to anyone they would be dismissive or question me on wether or not I take drugs.

Mad that after trying for the longest time I finally gave up and lived to people’s expectations and started using and drinking heavily. Mad that my consumption abuse ended by sending me to jail. Mad that at the age of 30, I was finally diagnosed with severe ADHD by my court appointed psychiatrist.

Mad that it took 20 years since my teacher mentioned it, 10 years since my first time addressing the issue, me dropping out of school, losing contact with my family and friends due to drug abuse, jail time and a criminal record for someone to finally try to help me.

Mad that even after all of this, now that my probation is over and I can’t see my psychiatrist anymore, due to the 5 year waiting list where I live; I can’t find a doctor to get my prescription and actually get myself together and finish school or make a decent life for myself.