I don't really know who else to tell this to without having it turn into some other long, sad, discussion but I'm proud of myself and wanted to share:

 I went to urgent care for a kitchen accident (don't cut anything towards yourself ever lol) and I started freaking out hardcore because doctors make me pretty nervous. I started thinking about a really traumatic part of my life where I was at the doctor by myself a lot and I felt super alone and like no one loved me. And basically turning those feelings into my reality.

I was starting to get on a "self hate/no one loves me" spiral but I was able to redirect, and think about all the times my friends and family were there for me outside of that one traumatic period. Which I've never really been able to do before, and honestly I'm so happy. I've been in (non dbt) therapy for less than 6 months and I never thought I would get better but it's actually helping! 

It's really affirming to see stuff like this, honestly a lot of the time I still feel totally hopeless and like I'm never going to be better but this gives me a glimmer of hope.