It's the natural state of things.. anything else just feels like a lie to keep me going but it's never enough. It doesn't make all the pain that comes w living worth it...it's just a trap..lies everywhere..I don't care anymore. I just want to die now. God but it's so hard tho. I can't take myself seriously..I never go through w it but I can't laugh about it anymore. Half assed attempts are just as meaningless as any other thing I chose to do now. It's all the same..I'm still afraid