I’ve tried so many hobbies and none of them were fulfilling. I have very low motivation for life because I’ve sought so many things and still come out feeling empty. I find it very hard to muster motivation to stay on top of necessary tasks and basic self care. I often fail to. I feel some form of emptiness all the time. I’m supposed to start a job this week (after 10 months of not working and two years of not working in person) and I doubt I’ll make it an hour because of this. 

Why do I feel this way? Is it possible to "heal" from or grow past this? What needs to be resolved within to do so? How do I cope in the meantime?

It seems like this is a near-constant state that runs on a continuum and can be more in the background or come more into the foreground. 

How do I keep it low on the continuum and more in the background so it doesn’t consume me?

Lower on the continuum/in the background:

Boredom, so physically and mentally restlessness with difficulty focusing and starting and completing tasks that require concentration, continuously feeling unsettled and uncomfortable, don’t feel fulfilled by interactions with others or participation in activities or engagement with surroundings, heart feels like it’s got a brick wall over it, life’s moments don’t feel meaningful, so life itself seems to lack any sense of purpose, tolerable level of ongoing despair

Higher on the continuum/in the foreground: Same symptoms - amplified to point of being excruciating, add in deep feelings of emptiness (to the point of being nearly or actually physically palpable) and the sense of not being a person inside; despair amplified to point desperate for immediate death, therefore constant suicidal ideation

Is it actually possible to put this symptom in remission?