I had a long period of time where my boyfriend's presence irritated me, it bothered me when I received text messages and anything he did annoyed me, even though he’s a wonderful person and never did something wrong. 

Any insignificant thing was a trigger for me and then I would start calling him names, insulting and making him feel bad in any way possible (not proud of it). He remained the same the whole time, just as calm and loving, but when he started to become a little more distant from me, my fear of abandonment kicked in and that's when my opinion of him changed instantly. 

Now I suddenly feel very attached and caring, I want to be with him non-stop. It's as if I put a filter over my thoughts: I either hate my boyfriend or I adore him. There’s no other way - it’s on or off. I literally started crying because we haven’t see each other for...2 days. It’s insane and overwhelming. 


I have reached the point where neither he nor I understand how I feel and what my intentions are in the relationship I have. I’m so sorry that I have to make him feel this way.