i have pretty bad anxiety and though i’ve been doing a little bit better in terms of mental health, it’s still pretty bad, especially when it comes to driving.

i turned 18 a couple months ago and i still don’t have my permit (much less a license). i’ve been able to put off driving for years because i was able to use the excuse “i don’t need to know how yet” but now that i’m in college my mother is very pushy about getting me to drive.

i’ve had multiple crying sessions and vomited like once over the anxiety of driving AND THIS IS ONLY FROM TAKING ONLINE COURSES! i haven’t been able to retain any knowledge because i’m so anxious and stressed by it.

i’ve been in two car accidents in my life, and my parents have no shortage of accidents. that combined with the fact that my parents would drive fast when angry, the fear of growing up, anxiety of causing harm to myself or others, and the fact that the idea of driving (and the freedom that comes with it) makes my suicidal very active combines into a giant clusterfuck of anxiety!

i think my anxiety is valid, but even though i’ve cried in front of my parents at the thought of driving, they always just brush it off and tell me to get over it.

i don’t want to worry my parents again with my suicidal ideation and mental health stuff (they don’t understand and i was hospitalized a year ago for it), but how do i make them understand the severity of my anxiety that comes with driving?

they won’t listen and i’m scared to tell them how much turmoil it causes me.

i know this is mainly a vent post, but does anyone have advice? can anyone relate?