I can‘t deal with it anymore, everytime I think I made my situation a bit safer for me, my intrusive thoughts (due to OCD) make it worse.


I constantly think I‘m going to get rejected and that God will punish me for being a bad human being, everytime I think people will do the worst to me and that I will die if I get put in a rejected position due to authority figures (like Professors who can decide over my life).


I‘m tired, i‘m tired ofncrying, it‘s just too much for me, it makes me want to give up on everything


my friends can‘t handle it anymore, my family doesn‘t understand, i feel so lonely and I can‘t change or add another medication because I already take so many and I‘m in my semester before my Bachelor paper and my doc said it‘s make my fragile state even worse (which we know from previous medication changes during my time as a student)


I just want this fucking shit to GO. I can‘t handle the tightness in my chest anymore and that feeling of people going to ruin my life. 


I am in therapy but currently i can‘t have any sessions till january because the office is closed till then.



I‘ve been crying for an hour now, i just can‘t habdle it