I don’t care about the holidays, I don’t even celebrate my birthday. my family has always been so dysfunctional and broke so I just got used to not caring about anything. But i’m currently spending christmas with my boyfriend and he and his sister got so many gifts and his family is so jolly and seem so well off and i know I said I don’t care but being around shit like this just forces me to be reminded of how shitty my life really is 

I usually keep to myself to avoid things like this but last christmas I ignored everyone including my boyfriend for the whole day and I wanted to make an effort this year but I see why I never do