I hate the past two years. I miss having a home, I miss my friends, I miss my ex. I miss who I was in 2019. 

Everything just gets worse and worse. Why am I even trying anymore? There's no point to anything. 

I can't go back, I can't be the person I was. The future holds nothing at all for me. I don't care anymore, about anything. I want to just fall asleep and never wake up. 

I can't believe I thought things would work out, that for once things were looking up. I was so stupid, grinning until my ugly face hurt while making plans to move in with my boyfriend. Idiot, absolute idiot. I knew better.