Okay, so this is just a small thing really. I've been in DBT for only about 4 months, and it has done so much for me already. 

There is this person with whom I have a very complicated friendship. I was very volatile toward him in the past, before I was in treatment. I said a lot of things to him that, well, let's just say I treated him in the way we all hate to hear society generalize borderline as treating people. About a month ago, I contacted him and started slowly trying to rebuild the friendship. 

Today, on social media, I saw that he had invited someone else to join him and some other friends in an activity that I would have loved to be invited to, and he knows me well enough to know that I would have loved an invitation. 

My first reaction was to be incredibly, devastatingly hurt. I noticed how I felt, told myself it was okay that I felt that way, but that I needed to accept that the friendship wasn't at the stage where I could expect invitations. He has plenty of reason not to be ready to trust me again. Maybe we will get there. Maybe we won't. It will be okay either way. 

I wanted to send him a message or call him, crying about how he invites others and not me. I wanted to yell and scream and make him feel guilty for making me feel so terrible and unwanted. 

Then I asked myself how that was going to help in the long term, if what I really want is to regain his friendship. 

I didn't call him. I didn't email him. I decided to read a book for awhile instead. 

Six months ago, this incident would have ruined my day, maybe even my week. I would have been a sobbing, inconsolable wreck for hours. I would have lashed out at him and at myself. 

Today, I was hurt for awhile. But I got over it. I'm still disappointed. I still wish things could be different. But they aren't, and I think that's okay. 

Just wanted to share. It's a little thing, but it makes me feel so proud of myself.