A friend/coworker messaged me at around 11pm, saying he was stranded an hour away from my house with no way to get home. I couldn’t bear the thought of him being stranded so I immediately jumped in my car, to drive an hour to pick up him. Only when I got there I found a company-wide house party. Cast, crew, everybody I work directly with in my department, their SOs, all at this house party that I never was invited to nor told about. I thought my heart would split in two, I started having a panic attack. Sauntered in to grab my friend in a hoodie and sweats, looking like a drowned rat, looking at everybody dressed to the nines and having a great time. I’ve never felt so isolated, so alone, and I had to put a brave face on for my friend the entire hour drive home to his home, pretending like I wasn’t dying inside. Why do I try so badly to help people who don’t have my back? Why do I care so much? This is my worst nightmare.