It’s my birthday tomorrow and all I’m feeling in disappointment in myself, I don’t know what to do and don’t even want a birthday. Why is it that all I’m feeling is sadness the day before my birthday? I just want to be a kid again and be happy and excited when these kinda events happen. I don’t even know where I’m going in life anymore, the pills make me “happier” but I still don’t feel fulfillment. No one except my family remembers my birthday, last year I had 7 or 8 friends come around, no one has spoken to me in weeks. Where did I go wrong? I just want to go back to when I was really happy. I hate it. I don’t exactly want to kill my self but I’d much rather be dead.