I can feel myself slipping away again. For the past few weeks, I have been constantly switching between feeling so depressed and wanting to kill myself to feeling nothing at all, just an empty void. I can't afford to be in this state because this is the last few weeks of uni when there are hundreds of tests, assignments and exams coming up. Everything is just stressing me out. I live with my boyfriend and his parents who have been overseas for the past week, so I've had this additional stress of cleaning the house, doing my boyfriends laundry and cooking while still making sure I get at least 6 hours of study into my days. I always feel tired but I feel even more tired lately, but I can't even sleep at night because my mind is racing. When I do sleep, I have nightmares (I have medication to help with this but it hasn't been working). I feel so restless and my body constantly aches like I've been lifting weights and the gym and using every single muscle in my body. I used to be a heavy drinker, but I lightened up on my drinking hugely, gone months without it. But the past week I find myself drinking every night (not excessively but enough to get me buzzed). My boyfriend is now mad at me for drinking. I asked my social worker if I can go into the care programme that is designed for people with mental illness to go to for a few days and just relax, but she's not sure if she can book me in. I just feel so hopeless.