My FP moved to another country and it's been a month since I saw him. He's not been in touch as much and it's bothering me to the point where I want to end it all.

I can see him online and he doesn't respond to my texts and I don't know what to do. I know that he has his own life and I should give him space and all that but I just can't take this anymore. I'm a student and I have a paper that I should be working on - I could potentially flunk out this semester. But I just can't focus. I can't stop crying, this week has been hell. Every time I think about it I get really bad suicidal thoughts - which is all the time. 

I want to stop talking to him and move on but I just don't know how to do that. Everything is so difficult. I just want to tell him that this is affecting me too much and I want us to stop talking but I know that he'll just agree and leave - which is kind of the point but I'm so fucking scared?? How am I supposed to let go??