It's that time of year again, where the days are getting shorter and depression runs rampant. Got officially diagnosed with bipolar earlier this year after my previous psych didn't think it mattered whether it was depression or bipolar as "the only difference was what it said on paper" Of course new psych (who actually listened to me and my concerns) meant new meds, which meant a new med schedule. That hasn't been going well at all. Now on depakote er and trazodone before bed as it makes me very drowsy. Bed time isn't a set time due to my work schedule so rarely do I get to take it at the same time everyday, if I'm able to take it and still be awake on time the next day. On to my point I guess, around Halloween is when my SAD really starts giving me issues and I'm worried that,unmedicated, I'll start having more severe mood swings again. My mood when I'm able to consistently take my meds had been far more stable even if just for a week or two. Then after missing 2-5 days worth I'm back to having a shorter fuse than Yosemite Sam, then light switch to nearly water works.  I've already put my wife through enough this year between all of my treatment changes, inconsistent meds, and a new born this past January; I couldn't possibly live with myself putting her through more. Scheduling and just overall mental health had been bad enough I've had to reschedule my appointment then ended up missing it anyway. I don't know what this post is. It'll probably get lost in the sea of posts here. If anybody finds it, some encouragement or tips would be greatly appreciated.