Seriously, what is it? I was doing fine feeling completely hopeless for the better part of the decade. Even went through the first year of the pandemic not worried so much.

Then January of this year hits, and it's like somebody plugged me into a wall socket. Change all the passwords, get backup codes, back those up, back those up again. Check every fucking day every account because I just know I've been hacked. Ever back out of your banking and log back in, in the space of 20 seconds? 

Don't sleep. But do overeat. Stop working out. Barely able to work. Worry about going back to university. Fear that your computer is going to break. Fear that your phone is going to break. Have a fucking breakdown because you have to renew your ID. 

I'm thankful it let up a bit a few months ago, because my God, nobody could live like that. And here I thought depression was the thing to look out for.