  I’ve had OCD my whole life. When I was a kid I had all sorts of “rituals” I would have to do but ever since I was about 13, I have felt CONSTANT anxiety in certain scenarios. I’m 21 now, and just started an internship and the ~entire~ day I felt anxiety when thinking about doing things or talking to people and I feel trapped. And no, I don’t have social anxiety, it’s like I know what I want to say and do and be productive but my mind is subconsciously not allowing me to do those things because of this or that and in turn I feel constant anxiety and my voice gets high and shakey. I could literally talk to the same people outside of work and be completely normal, it’s just like if I’m not 100% certain on what I’m doing or WHY I’m doing it, I’m panicky. It took me YEARS to figure this out and I am really, really, struggling today. The only break I got from this was when I got lost into some schoolwork on my laptop and then when I heard someone say my name, boom, it was back. By the end of the day I feel so unbelievably mentally exhausted and depressed I just shut down completely. But say it’s like a Friday, I have plenty planned for Saturday to do things I enjoy, it all goes away. It’s like I need to have something to look forward to or I get completely caught in a cycle of constantly checking myself without even knowing it. It’s miserable and I need tips. I’ve been to many counselors, been on multiple medications, and nothing I mean nothing helps this. I’m sick of it and it messes with my perception of who i am and I know I could be so successful if I wasn’t feeling constant anxiety and mental checks. It has greatly affected my grades throughout my life and work. But when I go do things I enjoy or get sick or here’s a great example: the pandemic, it goes away completely. I wish I could have peace