I really wanna die. Not just disappear. I wanna die so bad. I feel like I don't deserve to live. I'm literally the dumbest human being. Everyone else is smarter than me also more hardworking. And here am I. The constant lump in my throat is irritating me. I can't get up and do my work no matter how much I convince myself. No matter how much I try I just can't be productive. I wanna die. I can't live without doing my work. All people around me are street smart, they can strive at any field with their dedication but I may be good at only one field but for that I have to study but I just can't. It feels suffocating. I wanna study so bad but I just can't. It's not that I don't have resources but I just can't study. I've tried to calmly solve the problem but couldn't. Now I'm really tired of trying. It feels nauseating. I wanna die ssooo bad..