I'm turning 24 and still live at home. I'm in a bad spot and can't really tryst myself to look after myself. Birthdays have always been weird but now I especially feel ashamed of all the things I've not accomplished that my friends (well, not so much anymore) have done already. 

We are in lockdown again so we wouldn't be able to go out to dinner even if I was feeling up to it. Mum is already asking me what we are doing for dinner and if she is going to make a cake. She needs to know because she'll have to get ingredients and she likes to know what she is doing. (The lockdown is weird because you can't leave the house but getting takeaway from the café is cool) She is also asking me if I am coming with her to the shop to get coffee, do I want a muffin, are we going now or is she going by herself, she'll wait an hour for me to decide but she wants a coffee, she'll just make a decaf now but she is going to go soon, do I want a yoghurt cake because I need to get yoghurt, do I want Dad to pick something up, it's easier to go now than after work. It's just... overbearing. 

I feel like I am about to throw up. 

I told her that I don't know what I want and that I'm just trying to get through the day. It's like she hears me but can't actually comprehend. She'll say the reassuring words but will continue to pester. She's kind of just a physical embodiment of my racing thoughts. I can barely control them and I definitely cannot control her. It's so confusing and overwhelming and I don't know what to say to her for her to understand.