Its only been 7-8 days since existential dread has set in, but Im already ragged. This is not my first rodeo and Ive gotten over it before, but Im back in the horse without the saddle and its exhausting. I thought I was okay but now Im back in a dark place.

- I wake up much earlier than my alarm and I cant go back to sleep. So I just lie in bed till my alarm goes off.

- I feel muscle strain in the back of my neck and shoulders whenever a troubling thought invades my head. When the anxiety passes, the tension has made my upper body feel stiff. This happens a lot throughout the day and it feels emotionally/physically draining. I wanna stop it but, i cant.

- my existential anxiety stems from scary thoughts like "do we just cease to exist when we die?" Or "whats the point of being alive if we just disappear and are forgotten in the end?" Or "if I find something worthwhile purpose in my life, will I jsut be okay with death?" Its made activities that brought me joy like video games and watching comedy Lets Play videos feel like reminders of my mortality: "I cant enjoy this. In 1000 years, these thigs will cease to exist and ill just be mindless dust in the ground."

Im taking anti-anxiety medication (Nexito 10) but me and my psych started tapering it since I was doing better (until this happened). I need help but dont know where to even begin...