So I have (had?) BPD, but for the past year or so, I've actually been doing incredibly well in terms of controlling my emotions, and just in general feeling really good and well balanced. But more recently, I've felt as though that's kind of slipping away from me, I'm at a stage in my life with a lot of uncertainty and potentially big changes upcoming, and I feel like I'm slipping back into old, negative habits.

For example a little while ago I found myself sort of obsessing over one person (not crossing any boundaries or anything, just in my head), just kind of like I wanted to make them a new Favourite Person. I was able stop my brain from completely attaching myself, but I'm a little worried that it will happen again.

I've also been getting jealous and angry in a way that I haven't for quite a while, and I'm honestly just really worried that it's going to get worse and I'm going to relapse I guess. I'm having spirals of negative thoughts and self-hatred about it and I just feel anxious and scared.

I've never really used this subreddit before, and I hope it's ok to post and ask for support. Has anyone else been through something similar? Where they felt as though they were coping enough that they no longer had BPD for a while and then they feel themselves relapsing? It wasn't like everything had been perfect in the past year or so, but I was in control of myself in a way I don't think I ever had been before and I generally felt pretty ok and self-confident most of the time?

What do you do in this circumstance? I want to keep myself from completely collapsing back to the emotional mess I was a few years ago, when I did stupid and dangerous things impulsively. I was doing so well and I feel worried I'm losing it again.