My episodes have been really tough to deal with lately. 

My FP has been amazing. She's a platonic best friend, but I've never had a friendship like this. She moved me into her home after a suicide attempt and has taken care of me.

Well, she has a boyfriend now. The two of them decided to take an impromptu trip to NYC together. That cancelled our Thanksgiving plans. She was also going to drive me to a Netflix date I have on Friday. Now I'm going to have to cancel because she's gone and I can't afford the Uber (anyone need a website? I'll work real cheap and take a comically low deposit!)

Logical me: Aww. My BFF has a new dude and they're being spontaneous. It's a little annoying to break plans, but it's cool. That's beautiful she has something fun and fulfilling.  
Me me: HOLY FUCK. I'm being replaced. All of the non-romantic things we are to each other are dead and gone forever. I'll never have my best friend to hold me when I cry again. WHY DOES SHE HATE ME?!?

So I wrote a blog post about my diagnosis and the ways that I feel. And I'm now 100% positive that despite actively trying to sound NOT like a manipulative, "feel sorry for me" piece of shit, that's exactly what I am.

She's going to come home and ask me to move out. I have nowhere to go. Fuck.

Not posting this to promote my blog, so if you're curious, DM me.