Started journey on getting back on medication in Jan 2020 first doctor was awful ended up with two attempts in less than two weeks of each. Psych ward stay, got out week later drive my car into a pole. The. Spent 30 days at a wonderful mental health/rehab facility. Got out and was feeling like myself again then new doctor kept changing my medications. Office administration also terrible so eventually just said fuck it and stopped everything altogether. Now been off all medication, no therapy since early November. Struggled first two weeks and then felt like “me” again up until past week or so. Mood swings coming back and progressively becoming more aggressive. Depressive episodes more apparent lately unfortunately, and fearing going to become unmanageable. Terrified to do the roller coaster shit show of finding the “right” medication again. Hoping might be someone out there who has found alternative way to handle/combat the swings? 
TIA if you provide any testimonials, support advice literally ANYTHING. Do not have anyone in my support system that can relate with these feelings. Grateful I have people to reach out to but it’s always just “breathe, calm down, you’re overthinking and making yourself miserable” 

🙏🏼