 it's been a long time since i wrote. I blamed everyone and everything that I'm not happy .. okay I lost the love of my life, I lost all my friends, .. I am so alone. I was in a situation where I wanted to kill myself ... I wanted it so badly .. but I was held back by courage or stupidity .. which held me back. I really don't know .. and I'm really 35 years old, and how sometimes I read everything you write .. I'm fucked up, broken forever .. and I could find happiness in stupid things .. I don't know you like shoes, games, fancy light bulbs, whatever! ! and I know someone will write to me that he doesn't like people. I don't like them either .. but you will be surprised if you say "hello" to someone. There are many of us who are sneaking around and waiting for no one knows what .. If anyone has read this momenu .. what do you have to lose? will call you strange? or maybe someone will answer and talk about the weather, cars or what impact cycling has on ants .. probably no one will ever read it, but I wrote that I am fine. Thank you and best regards