I don't know how things work, I am not clinically depressed/or diagnosed. Never have gotten the chance to actively take professional help. 
But it's been hard few years, especially since COVID. Being home for 2 years, missing out college life, losing my passion, the will to put in efforts in the degree I am doing and all...
What I really wanted to ask is, I know when I am spiralling down. I know when few days are a rock pit and I find myself doing absolutely nothing. Especially the not wanting to shower part, I loved taking showers, the feel of it, the time i got to be on my own with music and they made me feel good. Now it's like I do shower but because it's a necessity, because by night if I don't i feel restless like I can't even do this one thing for me.
 It's been more than a week since I washed my hair and every passing day it's like I need to wash them and I then I don't. I have been wanting to shave, take the longest fucking shower, light a scented candle, put on happy music, scrub away everything but i keep delaying it ... I haven't been productive in 2 years. I have isolated myself in last 2-3 months, pulled away from friends and i miss them. I liked having someone to talk to but it's like i can't put in any more efforts so I just stopped.
Worst part being I know I am not doing shit, I know i need to get it together and work because who else will, I know I need to bring myself out of this self pity, I know what all I'm doing wrong and I know i need to finish my degree and think of future but I do nothing to remedy it all. I just sit in my room binging anything literally anything not even the shows that I want to watch because that feels like giving myself a luxury of watching them so i watch whatever i come across. And binge eating god, every night as the clock hits 1 am like food food food and I feel so guilty over it.
Why am I doing this to myself? Not necessarily that i feel I'm doing this to myself but it sure feels like my fault that I'm not actively doing anything to help myself and that just adds on to the guilt.
(Sorry for such a long rant)