I'm 20 and I still live with my mom. My mom has always used me as a "therapist" ever since I was a child. I've listened to her feelings about her feeling like and outsider in a new country, her divorce and being a single parent all my life. I think it's made me become the "therapist" friend in my friend group. But I'm so drained and I have been for years now. I accepted I'd never be able to tell anyone about my depression. But two days ago my mom asked me if I was depressed and I just blurted it out. I told her everything. How long it's been, my suicidal thoughts, how I just feel numb everyday. I regret it. I love my mom so much but I don't think she can handle my thoughts. She told me to tell her everytime i feel suicidal but I can't dump that on her. I just keep crying I feel horrible about this "dump of feelings" I just pushed onto her. I can't stop feeling horrible. She does so much for me. She's still working at 52 as a waitress to support the family.  I can see how tired she is. I just hate myself so much. My plan was to kill myself after she dies. I'm only living for her. 

Sorry whoever reads this I'm not really looking for advice or anything I just wanted to share my feelings with anyone.