it's been 3 months now. It happen after I had a major paranoia about her hating me and talking about me with our friends, and of course none of this happened. I got back and apologize one week later (no only to her, but to my others friends too) after isolated myself from literally everyone. She didn't responded and don't talk to me anymore. At the first week I thought "ok she needs time", but then the days passed away and I was actually ok, it feels like nothing happened, but then it all hit me this last couple of weeks. I lost her and it was my fault. My psychology says that she did a mistake too, because "she knew about your condition and how new this diagnostic and treatment are", but I'm the monster here, right? am I always gonna make this to every person I love? I don't think there's a way out of this sadness and loneness, I just love her so much that it hurts. Please, can someone help me?