Saturday was my birthday, and I invited some of my friends to go to a nightclub to celebrate me, well I got more drunk than I would like to admit. For some reason when I get past a certain point of drinking, I tend to become a crying mess, and I isolate myself from others (albeit doing a bad job at hiding it) as well as attempting to sh myself. The day after I am usually extremely embarrassed and want to hide away, this time though my friends had clearly had enough of me, and told me that they’re tired of having to deal with my messy self whenever I drink too much because it ruins the fun. Am I able to rationalize this fact and see that it’s not fair for them to be worried about me when we go out? Yes, but the other side of me just can’t accept the fact that friends do not show unconditional love, just as I would for them. The thing that hurt me the most is the fact that I was feeling so extremely guilty yesterday, and hell did it just hurt even more to hear that I have no regard for my friends. How do I move forward? I feel so lonely, I am so scared of losing them permanently.