me and my ex broke up 8 months ago after years of on and off, we stayed friends, spoke most days despite him hurting me and I enjoyed his friendship. So I thought. Almost 3 weeks ago he decided to tell me to "leave him alone" because I'd asked for a simple favour, he accused me of needing too much from him.

Now it's not that the 3 weeks have been good, no they've been tough, I've had personal stuff happening, but normally when I felt sad, I would speak to him. But when I did, I would be made to feel I was asking too much. If I asked to do something like play video games on a down day (so he wouldn't have to see my physically to help) he would get mad. I realise I couldn't ask for anything without it being a huge thing. Any negative emotion I had was questioned. He didn't allow me to ever have emotions. If we planned anything as friends, he would complain either before, during or after, it was never simple. 

I would have done literally anything for him, no question. I was there no matter what. But whenever I needed or wanted support, I was shamed, shouted at or just invalidated. And I didn't realise it til a few days ago, I was depressed. I spoke to a few friends, kept myself busy and the next day felt better, normally I would have spiralled because I was such a burden when depressed, but that didn't happen this time, I didn't speak to him, my friends supported me and told me it was okay to feel sad, it's crazy. But looking back, I can't remember the last time we spoke that was fun... that he didn't get mad at me. I miss him, don't get me wrong, we were best friends of course I miss him... but I don't miss how much I was put down.