I've been experimenting symptoms like sadness, helplessness, demotivation, a tremendous amount of guilt and mood swings ever since a very impactful  event that happened back in January. I won't explain exactly which and how the event was but all I'll say is that it has triggered a deep feeling of guilt that has trespassed to other situations in my life (both from the present and from the past).

Nonetheless, there are times in which I can live normally and not think too deep about it. I'd even say I feel happy about life at those times. But once I start thinking about the event and everything related to it (which has turned into pretty much anything), all of the feelings come back as if they'd never left (sadly, it's been like that the majority of time). Apart from that, there's a constant within my feelings and it's a huge self-hatred and a thought that I'll never be good enough, that I'll never make it, that I'm s bad person and that I don't deserve to be happy. The pessimism is constant and it's made my life very difficult to live.

I've also considered ending it all at least every week since January (and almost everyday when I have huger crises) and, I'm not gonna lie, I thought about it even more last night, I guess that's why I'm writing this post.

Anyway, hope you can shed some light. Thanks. Oh and just for the record, I have psychology sessions every week and they've really helped (if they've helped and I'm still in a state like this one, imagine how bad it was before).