i’m a pretty regular drug user, i smoke weed everyday, probably get drunk around 3 times a week and take hard drugs once or twice a week (usually ecstasy or lsd). drugs/alcohol are my escape, i feel more normal and like myself when i’m intoxicated however, i have found recently that i have almost completely lost any grasp on reality when sober. i feel like everything around me isn’t real, as if i’m not real. i know this is partly to do with bpd/disassociation but i scare myself so much to the point where if i’m sober i feel as if i’m an intruder in my own body and like i have no personality at all, i’m sort of just empty. i also don’t know how to interact with people when i’m sober, i find myself accidentally copying mannerisms/words from my friends which makes me think i’m insane and not a real person. i don’t know if that makes sense but hopefully someone understands or can give advice on how to help in any way because it can be terrifying