I hate doing this to myself. I really need to just chill the ****out. Part of the issue is I don't think before I speak/write stuff out. Then I reread stuff try to word it better, end up embarrassing myself and others. Try to fix it but end up making things worse. I make myself sound crazy sometimes to stir away the wrong people but fear I scare away the right people. That causes my constant they dont/wont like me over thinking. And that's where I am today. I know it will pass eventually but jeez I hate this..