This will be a long (kinda intro) post about myself and my problems in facing recently. 

The Tuesday before thanksgiving I went to my pcp about insomnia and mood swings that have been effecting me for 8 months. My pcp wasnt in so I saw another doc. The doc had some concerns about my well being. I talked to a behavioral health counselor and she suggested I go to the hospital for psychiatric help. I refused being as it was too close to thanksgiving and that would ruin my family's holiday. We agreed I come back in a week for a counseling session. 

The next Thursday I meet with her like we agreed on. 10 mins into the session an ambulance comes to take me to the hospital. I feel like she set me up and I get upset and refuse to go with them. Eventually I convince a nice cop and EMT that i was set up and that I didn't agree to this. I say that I will not go against my will but I will seek help on my own. (They were really nice!)

The next day I go to the hospital for help. I wasted 8 hours and came up empty handed. 

Last Thursday through this Thursday I attend a partial hospitalization program. I see a therapist and a psychiatrist daily and I do tons of group therapy. Group therapy wasn't a lot of help to me, but I got a diagnosis and I got started on lamictal! Things were looking up !!

But Thursday is my last day and I feel like I have nothing once I leave there. The psychiatrist gave me a couple of numbers for therapists and psychiatrists for once I leave. But everyone i call isn't accepting patients or they are a long ways away (like over an hour). The doc keeps looking (he's so nice) but I don't have a lot of hope we will find anyone. 

Monday next week I have to be back to work (40+ hours a week) where do I go from here? I don't really have any coping skills for my anger or my emotions and I feel like I can't find anyone who can help. I'm worried everything this week will be pointless and I will end up where i was before.
