I was admitted for 5 days because of a beginning manic episode, and I felt that the drugs curbed the worst of it and that it was for the most part over. I have been home for two days now. I felt like I was in freefall, my memory has some holes in it, and I'm a bit out of touch. I figured I'd either go into a mixed episode, or what I thought more likely, a depressive episode.

I think it might be a mixed episode. I felt pretty alright earlier today, spent most of the day drawing, and now I'm still up and it's nearly 4 am and I had a panic attack and just feel pretty unstable atm. I'm trying to listen to calming music. My cat being here helped a little. 

The doctor seemed a little reluctant to let me go two days ago, but my psychiatrist seemed to think I was alright today, but I only felt sort of empty when I saw him. I don't know, I'm really behind in school and I just wanted to write everything out I guess. That panic attack freaked me out a little, still feeling a little shaky. There's just so much. I haven't been following up on any assignments for the past 3 weeks because I was thinking of dropping out/it not being necessary. Fuck! And I'm still up. I need to try to sleep.

The doctor at the hospital said it was always open if I needed it, but I don't know if I do. Or if I even want to, it's not great, and I just got released. 

...i should sleep. Maybe sleep will make things better.