(Apologies for any formatting issues I’m on mobile app) 

Just venting because I’m so frustrated. I have had a very strong suspicion for about 6 or 7 years that I have bpd. I have seen numerous psychologists who lump me in with depression and anxiety and won’t look further into bpd. Even when I question their diagnosis, they tell me that what I experience is a normal part of depression and anxiety and that it is nothing more than that. 

I had a really rough patch at the end last year and was referred to a psychiatrist put on lexapro by my GP. I’ve been working with my psychiatrist since February and am now on 30mg of lexapro which is only just helping me get by. He has suggested I find a psychologist who does DBT. When I asked why I need DBT and not regular therapy (because DBT is hard to come by where I’m from), he said that it would be helpful because I have bpd “traits”. I clarified if that means I have bpd and he said that I don’t have bpd because I am ‘functioning’, I just have traits of it. 

I feel so invalidated and it is so frustrating that I’m not taken seriously because I ‘function’ well. My psychiatrist has only seen me since I’ve been on lexapro which has made me somewhat more functional than usual and tbh I have worked really hard in my life to try and control my symptoms because they are huge factor of conflict in my household - so I’ve learned to act “normal” most of the time to not cause conflict. 

Idk, I just think it makes no sense to say I have traits of bpd but I don’t have the actual disorder. Surely if I have traits of it, that means I have the disorder? 

I don’t know where to go from here, I have spent thousands of dollars on psychologists, psychiatrists and medications and I’ve gotten nowhere because apparently I’m not dysfunctional enough.