TLDR; I am always thinking in terms of "this or that" or "yes or no". And often it holds me back from trying new things. Looking for advice on how to challenge this way of thinking.



This has got to be one of my biggest problems in life that holds me back. I have a very extreme all or nothing approach and everything is black or white for me. It's either yes, or fuck no. 

Whenever I get ideas, projects, desires, tasks or anything that basically requires input and effort on my part to get output, I often quit at the soonest drop of criticism either from myself or externally.

For example. I get a great idea? I start implementing it. I fuck up somewhere along the way? Goddammit. It's done. I've ruined it and now I can't go on. 

I have a desire? I start implementing it. I see someone else has already tried it. Fuck it, it's been done. There's no place for me here. 

I start a project. I work on it. It gets difficult? It's too hard. I'm not going to be able to. So I abandon ship.

I decide to implement a habit that will help organize my life? I do well for a week. I slip up a day or two. Fuck. It didn't work. Guess I'll try again next month. 

I want to sell my art? The art domain is saturated and everyone is selling their art. Won't work. So I don't.

I want to become a web dev? Everyone and their dog is programming so I guess not. 

I want to transfer my leased car to someone else so I can free up some money? No one will want it because it has too many kilometers on it. (Except it's a great price because I put a down payment when I got the car. So maybe someone would want it!) So I just don't try.

The point is, this bleeds into my life everyday and holds me back constantly from trying new things. I decide, from the get go, or shortly after starting something, that because of x reason my ideas, desires, plans, etc are just NO, instead of taking a more grey approach of, "why not? Let's see what happens." And challenging my biases. 

I'm sure others can relate. I'm venting here, and looking for insight from others. Have you overcome this? People are constantly telling me to stop thinking so extremely and to try to be more flexible. How can I challenge my biases and frame of mind and loosen up a bit?