haven't had a job in a while because of mental health reasons probably and covid if i'm honest. and because i don't want to work in the field i got a diploma in. today i subscribbed to a florist course. it's not a passion but if i have to do something i figured at least let it be something i don't think i'll hate. it's online, because covid cases are so HIGH here and i don'twant to tempt it, but also because i'm so introverted i'd rather this way probably. thing is it's not necessarily the best way for me because i have zero discipline. and i keep thinking what if it's a mistake? what if i don't get the diploma at the end of it. what if i paid for nothing. i got the codes to connect to the platform and i'm just looking right now and it's very overwhelming. i can't even complain because thanks to my diploma there are like 5 classes i don't have to take. i got 2 big classes. surely i can do that? but they're the professionals one.  so they're long. i don't want to be a failure at the end of it and not succeed, because then what happens? i don't have a plan B, THIS is my plan B.