I am an awful human being. All I care about is myself, I've been alone for the past 9 years because of it. I'm a pathetic self centered hypocrite. There is nothing I or anyone can do to change that. 

The stress of being alone for so long has taken a toll on my body. All I want to do is crumble apart and sink into the ground. I used to tell myself that I was good at heart, what a filthy vile liar I am. I can take the stresses of life no longer. I am fragile. I am a mistake. I am worthless. 

I can add no value to the lives of others, only subtract. The only reason I carry on anymore is for my pet. I am a mistake, a walking self contradiction. I can't take this much longer. I must be freed from this wretched body and broken mind.