7 months post suicide attempt / just graduated from intensive therapy. I notice now when I feel the depression coming on - my relationship with it is much more uncomfortable. 

I think I used to be really familiar with the loathing and self pity - it felt normal almost. I knew exactly what to do (sleep all day) and I was comfortable doing that.  It made me feel better and seemingly “solved” the problem. 

Now - I couldn’t be more uncomfortable. If I sit and give into it I feel tons of regret. It feels wrong and I feel this new level of terrible about myself if I give in even for a few hours. 

Can anyone relate? Sometimes I think - shit - I wish I didn’t learn the tools almost because I used to be so okay with this.