Bpd female here. My bf struggles heavily with OCD and while i know i’ll never truly understand it since i don’t struggle with it, i try my best to make his comfort a top priority. In the beginning of our relationship i was very open about my Bpd, triggers for my fear of abandonment, trust issues, etc. However as time went on i became more closed off about it as it’s caused fights and issues in the past. Now i feel as though his OCD is a common topic (not an issue at all i enjoy hearing about it and trying to understand) while my bpd and issues flew under the radar. in the past i’ve made it clear my trust issues and fear of abandonment were triggered when hes confided about things with another girl behind my back. he’s said he wouldn’t do it again and instead chose to research more online and social media and talk to me directly and openly which helps me a lot. i’m also in the process of seeking help and trying to understand my illness. 

Earlier though he came to me telling me about a girl with Bpd and Ocd who was giving him reassurance about something and it triggered my abandonment issues and fears again. i don’t know what else to do because getting professional help is a waiting game at the moment and i don’t feel like he takes my Bpd as serious as his Ocd. i feel like it doesn’t get the same care or attention as his issues. it’s hurting me a lot as i’m going through a bad depression recently and i feel like he’ll never understand how i’m feeling. he’ll say he won’t do something again or reassure me that he understands then do the same or similar things expecting a different outcome. 

i’m struggling and would really appreciate advice or experiences with this kind of thing.