Hi everyone,

&amp;#x200B;

I posted about this some time ago, but the situation just is not getting better and I guess I really want to vent about it and hear some of your thoughts.

&amp;#x200B;

I’ll try to make it short.. my current relationship Of 6 years is just falling apart. For your image, I have been in love with my boyfriend for 6 years, he was my FP, we did everything together, he was the love of my life. He’s seriously a very very good boyfriend, we live together and share everything. The following thing happened and I just can’t get my head around what to do.

&amp;#x200B;

fell in love with another guy, who opened up to me. He instantly became my FP, and as time progressed it got worse and worse, we were texting every day. I told him all my traumatic experiences from my youth and he told me about all his personal things and well.. I was honest with my boyfriend and with him at all times. I told him I had fallen head over heels for him and wanted distance, I communicated this with my boyfriend. Somehow I still managed to stay in contact for the last couple of months until about a month ago me and my new FP were drinking and well.. we had sex. I never wanted it to happen because I have only had sex with 3 people in my life, ever and I don’t ever do one night stands. He told me all kinds of really sweet things like how he always thought I was pretty and how he wanted to hold my hand.   


Now, I just learned about FP’s recently and I really really don’t want this. I was honest with my bf about what happened and he was really wanting to forgive me even though he is hurt. Now we decided for me to go no contact with my new FP. I want to fight this. We’re one month further and I just don’t feel ANYTHING for my boyfriend. When he wants to have sex I just feel awful about myself and it brings up a lot of traumatic feelings. When he wants affection I just really don’t want to give it to him because I don’t feel it.   


however, I really can’t for the life of me figured out what has happened in these last Couple of months, I was so happy and stable with him. Everything has been so great. Is there even a slight possibility that this will come back?

I miss my FP so much, I can’t even begin to tell you how much it hurts not to talk to him. It’s consuming me. Every second of every day I’m just thinking about him and how much I miss him and what he will think of me. It doesn’t stop.   


I know I’m taking the hard road right now, but I’m at a loss at what to do and I feel like such a bad person for everything I’ve done and my feelings and I feel Bad for my FP too.. I wish I could talk about it to somebody.