My NEX (24m) and I (23f with bpd) dated for 6 years and it was it was a rocky relationship. The first year and a half was perfect he was very affectionate, showed me off, gave me lots of gifts, etc, i think this is referred to as love bombing but at the time I really did believe it was genuine. After that he cheated a few times and became emotionally and mentally abusive, spread lies about me, would tell people we broke up when we hadn't and 5 years into the relationship I ended it. 

Unfortunately I was very attached and started seeing him again for another year. During this year it was more him than I that wanted this relationship to work and I started to believe that maybe he did genuinely love me since he kept coming back to me but he just had some of his own issues. He was also very protective and possessive of me even when we were not together. During this time he would plan weekend get aways, take me out, gifts etc. This time my trust issues and him not following covid restrictions and being risky caused our relationship to end (i ended it). 3 weeks later i find out he has a girlfriend (maybe the timelines overlap not sure).

 It has been a year of them being together. In the first 6 months he posted her a lot (he went on private after so im not sure if he still does) but she posts him everywhere all the time. He only posted me during the first year of our relationship after that he would refuse to do it so it made me feel very insecure. She is also often with his friends and family, something i did not really do (my own decision not his) but seeing this now is making me feel insecure and as if i was the issue and now he is treating this girl much better and has changed for her. He also drives out of state to see her (2 hours) and he used to complain about kms on his car when i moved 45 minutes away the last 2 years of our relationship.

I know the easy advice would be to just stop looking but its been a year and it is really hard to have that self control. Even the times when i go months without looking, ill end up looking and everything just hits me at once (as if i never took the break from looking). Im also scared that if i finally am able to make the decision to stop that i will end up seeing them together in real life now that the covid restrictions have lifted and i will not be able to handle it. 

It also hurts seeing him treat this girl better and take her on trips, do cute things with her, show her off. I also keep telling myself its because they are still in the honey moon phase, he is only behaving because of covid restrictions and not having many options, he is using her to move on (he had hinted at this to me before because i said we could never end up together), or that this stuff (trips, dates, longer drives) is just easier to do now because of free time due to covid or since we are older so there is more financial freedom. 

Does anyone have any advice on how i can stop these bad habits or how to stop beating myself up for not being enough or as good as this new girl?