I am trying so hard not to live for others but I still don't know where to start.

I mean, I do.. but its long and long and long. 

I kind of want to go absolutely ape shit. I hate how people see me.  

I hate how they also see me as hopeless without others. 

that they all see me as weak and vulnerable and breakable and im tired of it.

I am also tired of my fleeing even if its for a good reason. Its funny how I will allow myself to be in a bad situation because speaking up is too much work.

But I am also to blame so who cares.

Here I am again, moving to a different place once more. Will I make a future for me? not sure. I am almost 25, time is ticking. 

Or will I be the same but in a different location. As always.

Funny reading my old mssgs from 10 months ago and I sound the same :-)

I have to job hunt again and if I don't find something I'm going to crumble and have nowhere to go because all my options are destroyed and everyone is tired of taking care of me. 

I didn't mean for this to happen.