I just ended a long relationship. I had wanted to for years, but was stuck in the comfort and depressed. I got it in my head that I loved being alone, and I was so looking forward to the alone time.

Except it's so fucking terrifying sometimes my mind can't even think I can just feel the spiral happening. Like I have my eyes closed and I'm being spun around and around...

So here I am, alone for the first time in 15 years. And I'm wondering how people deal.

First, if someone says "text or call me at any time" HOW DO I DO THAT? I seriously can't even in the moment. Like, Oh maybe it's a bad time, or I don't want to bring them down. I don't have any long term friends or family I can turn to, just a few casual friends and acquaintances.

Second, there's this guy I''ve been hitting it off with, but lives far away. We met through work and we talk constantly at work. I feel strongly for him, and he's coming to visit next week. When I'm not talking to him, I feel that panic show up. Maybe he hates me, maybe he's getting sick of me, maybe he's talking to another girl, maybe he's changing his mind about this.. And he gives me no reason to think any of it. So, How can I stop my mind from jumping there. I want to just live in this nice bubble of "this isn't serious and we're just getting to know each other so just chill the fuck out and enjoy it"

Any thoughts, opinions, words. Please. Just give them. I need to feel like I'm not alone. This is all so new to me.