Continuous thoughts of me wanting to "punch my ticket" on my 30th birthday; awesome. Really irritating. This is why I need to go back on my meds, because as someone that is Manic Depressive, has Bipolar2 and Bpd - the thoughts don't go away.

&amp;#x200B;

It just plays on a fucked up loop. I've been struggling with this for months and it hasn't gotten any better. It's why I've been drinking a lot. Why I have isolated more. Because I am so very close to breaking.

&amp;#x200B;

I'm struggling, in pain and fighting to exist...