I said something like..... have you planned to tell me about it 2y later? And it felt as if he was thinking well im not going to see you at that moment(2y later). I thought he tried to adjust next appointment for longer term than usual; to see me less often

Well, i have been a bad patient.... admit it. He could hate me. Admit it. Even if he doesnt want to see me anymore and just want me to get off, its okay. He could. Admit it too. But it is literally heartbreaking. Being shattered into splinters. Feels like i am dying at this moment.

Just thinking how much my psychiatrist would hate me kills me. I am dying. Cannot live any longer without him. Cannot imagine the times i have no more appointments with him. DAE had gone through this?