I finally have blocked my FP and told him not to try to reach me in other places. I’ve deleted everything I could find in my camera roll as well. It’s hurting, but it doesn’t hurt more than the CONSTANT daily fucking battle I’ve had within myself about how he’s different towards me and whether or not I deserve it or if it’s all in my head. 

I finally woke up, and decided I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve the way he’s been treating me. We’ve broken up and gotten back together like 4x in the last month but this time I just feel it. I’m going to stick with it. I deserve better. Yeah, he was my FP but being with him was beginning to hurt more than being without him. 


I really could use new friends and people to talk to. It would mean a lot to me. I feel quite alone right now!