We’re in a LDR and I lived with him for 4 months, but I had to move back to my origin country as we don’t have citizenship things started yet. The past two weeks have been utterly hell for me. I’m staying with a family member in a city I don’t know and I’m so, so, so lonely. I don’t have friends here and I’m too shy to make any. 

I’ve been overbearing and clingy to him lately and he grew really frustrated with me, and because I reacted badly to him seeing a friend I’m not fond of. I know, I shouldn’t have, and if I act that way, trying to dictate who he sees and who he doesn’t, that makes me awful and abusive. I apologized but I’ve been adding to his stress lately. He needed a day away from me and I just have this feeling of impending doom. Every time I talk to him now, I’m terrified he’s secretly plotting to leave me and that he doesn’t want to speak to me. Even if that is true, I hate feeling like it’d be the end of my world.

He’s been so supportive through our our relationship but I feel like my loneliness is pushing him away and I’m terrified. I don’t know how much of this is perceived or not, but it’s scary anyways. I don’t have any friends to really talk to, I don’t have anyone to go to, I’m so alone and I just wish I could be with him again. It’s just unbearable. I don’t know who I’d be without him, my move back to origin country was supposed to be temporary while I figure out a visa but now I’m scared he doesn’t even want me back.

I just had to vent. Thanks for anyone who listened 