i feel like i dont know who i am, my personality changes depending on who im talking to. and in the rare occasions i didnt change myself and i was just myself, people didnt get my jokes, looked at each other weird after i talked like theyre making fun of me in silence, what i say doesnt interest anyone. and lately i been feeling so anxious and feeling like everyone hates me, and i feel like i cant be myself, i have to be someone else so i wont be hated by people. 
how can i interest people and not have people hate me, without changing who i am? 
i spent most my life alone without friends, and ive been so alone that i dont know how to talk to people, i cant read what peoples intentions or thoughts are, like most can.  basically because ive been alone, ill stay alone. 
i just want to learn how to make friends and be myself! why is it so hard for me? i cant convince myself everyone doesnt hate me. how do i stop thinking they do?