i have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and we've spent nearly every day together. we live together, but he is staying with a friend tonight. i'm not nervous about trust or anything at the moment thankfully. but i just... hate being away from him. i will see him tomorrow after work, but i am still awake missing him.

i miss work several days a week due to this anxiety. fortunately my higher ups are understanding, but this is not the person i want to be or present myself as.

tonight i felt huge amounts of despair and nervousness hours before i knew i had to leave him. crying, obviously. and he kept assuring me that i am okay and will be safe. again, i hate being away from him. so much so that i spend all the time i possibly can with him, and when i'm with friends i really want him there if he isn't already. there was a time when he was working out of state and i had to have him on facetime pretty much all day and all night, every day, even when we were sleeping because i felt so lost without him.

one of the worst parts about this is that i get very jealous about him enjoying his time with other people who aren't me. i don't like that he's okay with being away from me right now, and i just wish i could fall asleep next time him.