Dated a guy i met in college. I moved 2 hours away to another school but we still dated. It was my first one ever. He was an ok guy at first. He was always just like “it’s fine” and gave a lot of excuses to not visit me because he was also in school himself, worked at a grocery store and spent his other free time trying to be an LoL player. 

I was doing a lot to call, text, Skype, but he was fine talking every couple of days and wasn’t all that connected in what I was doing at the time with school and settling in with my new environment. But if we were face to face or intimate, he was very affectionate. In hindsight, he was definitely addicted to the game and wasn’t prioritizing me and I was miserable and felt neglected by that. He was totally fine with a loose arrangement and fine with seeing me in the summer when it was easier. “This was what you wanted,” he’d say. And I kept fighting with him to see me more (at first I was driving every weekend to see him, but he’d only come by for 2-4 hours). He even forgot about me coming into town one weekend because he had a tournament. He was trying to do better about it but we were fighting. 

So the part that I fucked up was the fact that he and I agreed to focus on school for the last 2 weeks we were apart and then we’d see each other for the summer when I came home. We’d go camping with his friends. I reached out a couple of times during that period and got one or two word answers. I was really mad we didn’t speak essentially for 2 weeks. When I got back home, he said he was working, even though it was our anniversary. I was crushed but I was like “thanks but when you’re ready to talk I’m here” and he asked me what was wrong and I said nothing. Next day I dumped him. He was really hurt by it and deleted and blocked me. Then I was like, well, I didn’t even give it a chance and now he’s gone. I reached out to his friend to see if he was ok and he just said “yep” and then all of them started deleting me. 

So I started begging for him back, harassing him, his friends, the new chick he eventually got etc. He never spoke to me directly and after a few months of it, then his friends came back around and told me I deserved better and all he does is eat, sleep and breathe LoL. But I used them to keep tabs on him and if he was really going to date another person long distance. Eventually one of his friends called me a stalker and said he was only being nice to me because I was stalking people, my ex never even liked women of my race but I was there and the sex was good. He was choosing between me and another girl (of another race who also played LoL) and I would’ve been better bc I had a better body. After that I deleted and blocked everyone associated. That hurt.

Ex later claimed to others that he was fine with our arrangement but it was annoying that I called him and said he didn’t care about me. He was surprised I dumped him, but I tried to get back together with him but he ignored me, found it funny. 

Clearly this guy wasn’t right for me and I have dated other people, but I do still have a lot of shame in how I had acted. This whole group of people know I’ve acted like a stalker. It still haunts me because there isn’t really anything I can do to make it better, but I see that my communication style when angry isn’t very nice or encouraging either. I’m just very embarrassed and hurt. 

TL;DR Ex Boyfriend was ok with giving low effort in LDR because he was addicted to video games, I wasn’t, tried telling him how I felt in passive aggressive codes and he said he was ok with things. Broke up with him after 2 weeks of not speaking and I stalked him and his friends for 4 months when he moved on and didn’t want to talk me anymore.