Every time I start to date someone or even just to start to like them I start OBSESSING over every physical detail on my body and how I can make it better or perfect it. I get so much anxiety and insecurities from this that I usually push them away so that they never see me without makeup or without being done up. I’ll end up obsessing over what new clothes, makeup, tattoos, piercings, hair color to get and wondering whether or not THEY will like it. It’s almost like I feel the need to “revamp” my look &amp; wardrobe to suit each new person I start to have feelings for. 

I get obsessive thoughts over the look of my apartment too if I know they are going to come over. I start agonizing over the decor and whether or not the cleanliness is up to par. I’ll even go buy new decor even if I can’t necessarily afford it at the moment. I’ll clean obsessively, always feeling like nothing is ever clean enough. I’ll cry when I’m preparing for them to visit. Most of the time I avoid having people I’m interested over to my place at all. It’s exhausting and it’s upsetting and it makes me not want to try to date at all. Does anyone else experience this? :(