I've recently been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, after many years of turmoil and thinking I was bipolar. I am self-aware that I am high maintenance and that I come off as a bitch sometimes because I do not know how to communicate. Little things do tend to get to me, and something I have been working on recently is not bottling it all up and trying to discuss it with my SO as it comes up.

Here's the kicker.

It had been a request of his to not bottle things up and speaking freely with him as i felt it, so that we could counter arguments that may have been instigated by how I was feeling. Only now that I am trying to explain things as I feel them, I'm being told that I am bitching at him and playing the victim, and that I am constantly complaining. We've had a rocky relationship for quite a while, and I was under the impression we were doing our best to groom ourselves into marriage material.

I get the feeling that he is being resentful, he constantly brings up how "this is not how people think" "why does something so stupid bother you?" "There's absolutely no reason you should be upset over something like this" I've sent him article after article for loved ones who know someone who is borderline personality, I have asked him over and over to take my mental issues into account, and somehow I still always end up the bad guy, and "crazy", I have tried to break up with him on numerous occasions because I was concerned that I was too much for him to handle, and didn't believe I could be loved unconditionally.

I love him immensely, but find myself at a loss for words, considering this issue has become a recurrent loop. I really don't feel like he comprehends my mental illness and I don't know how to get him to.\

x-posted from relationships