everything i try doesn’t work, even sources of enjoyment don’t work and it reminds me that i’m a worthless depressed future statistic. i’ve drank in the past but my liver said enough is enough after i downed a bottle of brandy in an hour and doesn’t let the slightest trace through. hopefully my kidneys don’t get the same idea when i my guy starts selling weed again, but until then i don’t even have a razor or knife i can use to cut myself so i’m out of distractions and life is hell. luckily i’m not at the point where i want to end it all yet, i still have to do that to the bitch that got me here, but after that i loose all purpose which drives my will to live. i’m estimating i’ll commit before 25, 30 at absolute latest if i find love to keep me going until they break my heart. at least earth won’t have to deal with me for long compared to normal people