Note - this is a verbatim repost from my earlier post in another subreddit that I thought was an actual support subreddit before they banned me and I read up on, well, most of their posts.

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So, I'm 27 years old, I'm Russian, I'm male and I have a BPD (professionally diagnosed, too) that I inherited from my mother.

And I've spent most of my life deliberately alone and isolated from other people because I have quiet BPD and it made me think that I am absolutely awful as a person and unworthy of friendship, let alone love. The only romantic relationships I've been in were complete disasters because I've welcomed into my life really bad/weird people because I was so desperate to be loved.

I am sickened by the idea of being abusive or manipulative. The thought that I may end up taking advantage of another is repugnant to me to the point where I tend to people-please more often than not. And yet, I am supremely lonely. My therapy and medication have managed to help me realise that I am, in fact, an extrovert, and I crave human company. And especially, I crave intimacy, where I can reveal my utmost secrets - like my diagnosis - to somebody else and feel like I'm not being inappropriately open.

I am currently being treated with pills and therapy, and I think I have the confidence and mental well-being, now, to try dating. As in, Tinder and whatnot. What I should do and/or be on the lookout for, to not end up in any way abusing or manipulating my romantic partner?