I’ve suspected my girlfriend (25/F) of two years has BPD, all the major tells are there. I’ve started seeing my own personal therapist who advises me that she believes this as well from what I’ve told her.


She started seeing a therapist on her own for a few weeks, but stopped going. Now she only wants to continue with couple’s therapy and has told me that my personal appointments make her uncomfortable. I’ve made it clear that I will not stop going to my therapist as it is helping me immensely with my own issues.


I’m nearing the end of my rope with everything, but I do care about her very much and would love to see her work on this. Everything I’ve read says that suggesting someone may have BPD or even asking them to see a therapist is almost guaranteed to backfire. And of course, she was seeing a therapist though her University for free, but stopped going for reasons she won’t elaborate on. I know she suspects something is up, I found a page about BPD open on her computer once.


Is there any hope? I love her very much but can’t see myself continuing if she isn’t willing to work on this herself.  We have terrible arguments at least once per week over the most trivial things.