I use to think that others opinion matter but grew to ignore but now it just keeps getting worse for me I start to make imaginary people that say what I think  (mostly negative things like just kys or you don’t deserve anything you have and shit like that) It got to the point were I second mind everything I do, I started to think that I’m the most disgusting human being that me being alive makes things worst for everybody around so I start to distance myself from everything, I find it hard to enjoy anything I do so I try to make up to people by doing what they want even if I hate doing it the thought of being a shitstain in the world keeps coming back after a two years of doing this I had a mental breakdown and just blamed everyone and start to act like a prick losing most of my friends and having a not so good relation with my family.(My breakdown was very private even my family didn’t know about it the only person that knew about this burdened our relationship and had a falling out, I also didn’t know about this subreddit)

a year later I don’t talk to most of my friends , and ignore most of my family members, my mental health is at its lowest, and completely disgusted with myself, have no self confidence,self esteem, and question myself if I should end it but fight with the thought of it hurting too much( the worst I did was try to drink bleach and try to cut myself most of them I chicken out)

Now I try to ignore everything and just live for myself and after getting a cat I found something that needs me even if it constantly bite and scratch me, I start trying to talk to people again and failing but still try to, trying to find a source of confidence with money or rank/games (I sacrificed my grades to play games and hoping it would make me happy but it didn’t)

My conclusion is just ignore people, and live for yourself, bottle up your problem, and don’t share it with others it will just ruin your relationship with them because your problem is not something they should deal with ( I know this is harsh but this is how I dealt with it only problem is I have shit personality and can’t control my emotions well)