hey. 
I (F24) have anxiety and depression, 6 years and counting. I had 3 therapists (I have one now) and 3 psychiatrists. I tried all the medication, all the brands. All of this might helped me to not end my life (even tho I changed professionals every time I tried to kill myself.

Since my first panic attack, six years ago, I realized that my life has never improved: I am worst than ever. I feel like going backwards, I retain less information, my job and my career is getting harder every day and I can't get in control of my emotions.

The thing with me is, I am a bad perfectionist: If I can't do it perfectly I try not to do it and I'm overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. Is a loose-loose situation. My performance at work, at my college, w personal relationships is getting worser and worser everyday. The thing is, I thought that forcing myself to do things would change my mind, but it didn't. I still force myself to function in common tasks, it sucks and it makes me depressive. 

I tried to find something similar in reddit but I don't. Perfectionism has ruined me, and honestly, I think it would be better for everyone if I was dead. 

sorry for my bad english. hope you have a great day.