I recently hooked up with someone I met on halloween, we had a great night together, and now I'm catching myself having a lot of interest in getting to know her. We exchanged contact info but like, I'm already feeling the burning need to cut those feelings down immediately before I get to hung on someone who might lost interest pretty quickly after they move past the physical attraction and attraction to the idea of me vs who I am as a flawed person.

Like I'm still kinda burnt on that from two of the last people I dated, they were extremely rough breakups for me because of the feeling of rejection after opening up (and on the other end, I push people away when I feel like they're too clingy or fixated on me).

I'm really thinking on what I usually fall back on to feel comfortable: working on myself and my hobbies to feel better about myself (like be better at music, get a motorcycle, workout more, me more stable, etc), to the point that I feel like the me that I am and the me that I and others expect from me are close enough, but then at the same time keeping everyone at a comfortable distance because god I hate being vulnerable at all, be it being open or being attached

I know this probably isn't correct thinking but it's all I can feel secure in right now. I just wanted to put my thoughts on here in case anyone feels the same or has some insight to these kind of feelings