I have some form of delusional disorder. It's non bizarre delusions, so it's usually based in reality which makes it difficult to truly know what's going on. Like for example you have a husband and you are afraid he's cheating. He could be, he could not be, it's always a possibility. Which makes me hold on a long time to delusions. I could control them. Now it's like there is a part of me missing, a big part that had the will to fight these delusions. Maybe this is just depression. I have them frequently, but they don't make me lose touch with reality enough to be hospitalized like the first time. Until yesterday... Lately I've been having a mental decline and neurological symptoms and that has left me mentally fatigued. I am unable to fight my delusions and they take over me. I know it's a delusion but I can't help it because it COULD be real. I am tired of this and terrified that delusions coupled with my mental decline are like pouring gasoline on fire. I was finally getting ready to get on a lower dose of meds, but now it feels like a lost cause. I will wait it out for a month and hope for the best.