yesterday i posted a journal that i had written about my journey with mental illness that i've had since i was little. i really value all the things and people i have met/learned about/experienced through reddit and i credit a lot of my healing through tips learned here especially the compulsive skin picking reddit, the how to not give a fuck reddit and the depression/ocd reddit but you might as well paint a fucking scarlet A on me right now. 

This morning I woke up to about a dozen messages from people telling me I was writing/posting/doing this for attention and how if I WAS REALLY ON THE BRINK i wouldve killed myself or attempted. How really suicidal people don't look like me, how they dont take pictures when they are catatonic. 

I could not be more disappointed or hurt. I didnt expect an incredible response but i had no idea that the community i valued so much would turn against me because i looked or didnt look a certain way. I immediately started to pull up pictures of myself where i was really awkward and fat and then i stopped because that wouldn't PROVE anything. 

THIS IS WHATS WRONG WITH OUR SOCIETY. MENTAL ILLNESS DOESNT HAVE A LOOK. I wouldn't WISH the things i go through every single fucking day ON ANYONE. Its disgusting -- the things I do and think and say. I scare myself. BUT i cannot tell you how disgusted i am in the community. i felt less alone with this community but fuck the people that turn against others for not looking a certain way or persecuting them because their mental illness doesn't look like their own. fuck it. and fuck them all. SHAMING isnt helpful 