Hi I’m 24f. I’ve been struggling with depression since I was 5-6 years old and it’s only gotten worse. I was taken away from my parents at age 4 and I was in and out of foster care my whole childhood. I could write a book about everything that’s happens to me in my 24 years here but I’ll try to keep it “short”.

The past 7 years have been terrible for me. My mom relapsed on drugs… I was supposed to go to college but it ended up falling through because my mom relapsed  and the loan situation etc.. so I couldn’t go. I became homeless at 17 years old and ended up moving into an apartment with my boyfriend at 18. 

Things with my bf were good at first (we started dating at 17). I basically started dating him because my life was falling apart with my moms relapse and it was a way for me to escape. I could go to his house every weekend and “get away” from all of the bad.


Fast forward to today and we’re still somehow together. We have 2 dogs together now and moved from Minnesota to Arizona in March of 2020 and left all of our friends and family behind (bad idea I know). 

It’s extremely toxic. We argue several times a week. Almost break up every week. He’s an alcoholic and is verbally abusive. It’s really bad and makes me extremely depressed because I can’t leave. We share a car (his car).. so he basically controls me and when I can and can’t leave etc.. 

I’m 15,000$ in credit card debt (medical expenses, paying for him while he didn’t have a job etc so we could afford food/housing etc).. it’ll probably take me 10+ years to pay it off. I have an okay job, but now I have 700$ a month alone just in credit card bills (minimum payments only). 

I can’t get my own car now because I’m so far in debt and it’s ruined my credit.. nor can I get my own place now because of my credit..  

My sleep is all messed up.. I’m extremely depressed.. I don’t want to work anymore.. I have 0 friends my anxiety has gotten so bad I don’t leave the house anymore (I work from home so I don’t HAVE to leave the house). I can’t afford health insurance, but I make too much $ to qualify for state insurance.. so I can’t see a doctor about my sleep issues (caused by my depression I’m sure) or a therapist. I also have a lot of other health issues but I just can’t afford to go to the doctor. 

I’m just so tired. It’s a never ending cycle. Life never gets any better or easier.. if anything it just gets worse. I just can’t do this anymore. There’s really no point at all. I wish my parents would’ve never of had me.