I have been struggling with severe depression for the last 6 years. In the beginning, I used to tell myself that things were bound to get better at some point. Circumstances would change, and I would feel okay again. But things just kept getting worse and worse. My depression was a self-fulfilling prophecy. I became more isolated, more alone, and more hopeless. I haven't had the guts to kill myself, but I am passively letting myself waste away a little more each day. No one wants to be around someone who is slowly committing suicide like that. I tell myself that it's better this way - less people to hurt when I finally die. I'm doing everyone a favor. But I can't help but feel angry at my situation. I hate the person I am. I wish I could be anyone else. I wake up in the morning each day and feel a horrible wave of dread fall over me as I remember who I am. I stare at screens all day, mindlessly scrolling, willing each day to end.

I want to pull myself out of this, desperately. But I feel that it's much too far gone. What would be the point? I have no one. I am alone and always will be. I've already wasted the best years of my life. I would rather continue suffering until I finally have the courage to kill myself. That is the best thing that could come out of my horrible life at this point. Finally at rest. Finally at peace.