He broke up with me, but my head can’t help but to blame myself and make it my fault. I truly don’t know if it is? He said he needed to find himself, but it feels like i’m not good enough from the whole situation at hand. I know no one knows our relationship, but it’s one of the most confusing situations I’ve been in.

Although, something really triggered my BPD and now I’m completely alone with my mind/emotions. I usually ran to him for this, he was my FP. So I’m now extremely emotional with all of this. Does anyone have any ideas to help with the ideas? I deleted instagram because all I kept doing was looking at his, but I don’t want him to consume me. I want to try and look at this in a positive light. But it is so hard too, like I said, I feel like it’s my fault.

Part of me feels like i’m just overreacting to the whole situation and part of me feels like it’s a huge deal. I truly believed we were meant to be. But now that my main support is gone, I’m very lost. It’s caused me to relapse with a habit. A habit I cannot stand and I don’t want to do anymore. My mind also wants to be toxic towards him and act like nothing happened and that we’re still together. 

I don’t know, has anyone else with BPD gone through a hard break-up? I really need help right now.