I'm 35 years old living at home. I graduated from college nearly 3 years ago, for a very punishing and competitive line of work which stretched me  very thin mentally.  Between being stretched thin at school mentally, being terrible at what I studied and just plain being afraid of a toxic industry I told myself I could use the rest.  

Then Corona hit, and I lost momentum to find work.  I spend most of my time at home feeling trapped. I can't focus on work or even care for things I used to enjoy. I don't even remember much of what I learned and am rusty to the point of incompetence.

I am glad my mother helps me out by letting me stay with her but at the same time I don't even have a room of my own. If I want to have a private conversation on the phone I need to have it outside and it's about -16C.

I don't have many friends but I've come to notice my best friend is distant. We had an argument in which he lost his temper and said I was a miserable asshole. Fair enough.  Things haven't been the same since and he's been focused on a new group of friends. I'm glad for him, it just is hitting me hard because he was the only person I didn't feel lonely around even if it often felt he looked down on me. He was my best friend of 13 years. 

How do I push through the dread and the loneliness enough to change my situation?  I'm on medication but the brainfog is crippling and it's getting harder and harder to get out of bed every day

Sorry if all of this sounds like whining but I am very lost. I don't even feel human these days anymore. I can't shake the belief that the best days of my life are behind me and that there's nothing to be done.