I've experienced lots of changes at work, but also several positive events on my life lately. I feel excited and super happy when special events approach (my grad, my bd, a whole wk off work), but once I'm there, it's as if I wasn't there or had no feelings. And after the events or special days are gone, I feel sadder because I feel guilty of not experiencing happiness as I should. Has this happened to you? At least these special dates were a motivation to go through the days, but now I can't find any and I'm starting to lose hope in them anyways. If I had a choice between staying alive and dying right now, I would definitely go with the second one. I just feel so lonely, inadequate, isolated, misunderstood, deeply sad and just exhausted. I feel I have no one to talk to who would understand.