i basically have bpd because of my dad which is hard to handle most of the times because of how he treated me (he’s out my life so i’m okay) but sometimes i catch myself doing things he used to do

they’re all harmless habits but they make me so sad, he used to chew gum all the time and always get the same brand and i do the same and it makes me so sad that i have to live with this disorder and the things he did to me and yet i’m here doing the same habits as him. we even have the same favourite colour. 
it brings me down so much and i am constantly terrified of turning into him :(