I'm diagnosed with ADHD, (21/6/22) but nothing else at the moment. I'm 15, and have pretty intense anxiety, so much so that having to take public transport alone makes me panic. I have a special agreement with my teacher to always have my seat in the back, as I can't sit in the middle or up front, because I get the feeling that everyone is looking at me and judging me, and so on with anxiety. I don't have a diagnosis for anything related to the anxiety, my psychiatrist and mom think my ADHD is the root of the problem, as having ADHD in the way I do, with the constant pressure and my brain overworking all the time, would create constant stress and then anxiety *from* the stress.

Sometimes I see or hear things. I'll think I saw a shadow behind my couch, or I'll hear someone call my name, when nothing and no one is there. I'm pretty paranoid all the time, and a few days ago I had a nightmare because of the paranoia, and it scared me quite a lot. I'm constantly scared that someone is watching me, I don't like public restrooms because I'm scared there's hidden cameras, or holes in the walls where someone is watching through them. It probably sounds dumb and irrational, but I just can't control it. Sometimes I'll cover my phone or computers camera, because I'm scared someone's watching me.

I take medication for my ADHD, Ritalin (Methylphenidate), 30 mg in the morning, so it lasts my whole school day. It helps me focus more on my schoolwork, and actually get something done, but I've been losing weight a lot, and I think it has increased my paranoia. My mom thinks i should probably go down in dosage, but I don't wanna do that, if it will decrease my focus again. Even if I go down in dosage, or stop completely, I'll still have paranoia. When corona got big, and everyone was in quarantine, my anxiety got worse. Because I got more used to being alone, and not having to go out in public and deal with the social anxiety. When we got sent back to school, my anxiety about it was much worse. The night before going to school, I'd be going through my morning routine in my head over and over again. The next day, while walking to school, I'd be panicking a bit, and thinking of every possible outcome for getting there. I'd be thinking about how people would react when I show up, what my friends would say to me and what I would respond, the schedule and exactly what I would do in every class. Where my seat would be, and how I would look as i walked over to it and sat down, etc. I still think like that, just not as intense, still very intense though.

I don't know why I'm saying all this, I guess i just really want someone to notice what I'm experiencing, and maybe help? I just want someone to listen and understand, maybe help me figure out what to do, or something. I wanna know if anyone knows what this could be because of? The meds have increased the paranoia, but I still experienced it before that, multiple years in fact. Someone help me figure out what's wrong, and help, or just listen.  Sorry if my english is bad, btw. I'm not from an english speaking country and commas aren't my specialty, haha. First reddit post too, so I'm sorry if I might've accidentally overlooked a rule, or said/did something wrong in general. I wish everyone a good day :)