It's been almost two months since my counselor dropped me as a patient. She accused me of lying and I have never found out what she thought I was lying about. I have even reached out to the main person at Walters Walk and no one will return my call. 

I haven't been able to find a new therapist. I'm not even sure what the point is if all they are going to do is blame me for my mental health issues. I wish I was dead the only reason I didn't do it today is it's my kids birthday. I reach out for help and I get nothing but told I'm the issue. I know that I'm the issue but beyond self check out I don't see any other way to fix things. I tried calling a crisis line and the counselor ended up telling me he had a bad day an all his issues then just emailed me the same 3 phone numbers I already have. Is that help? 

He asked me what would help look like for me an idk. I have no idea because if I could help myself I'd do it. But everyone everyday is like how I need me talk health help but I can't find one provider to help beyond telling me I'm the issue an apparently a liar.(note:  I did not lie to her about anything so I don't know what "dishonesty" it was that ended our counselor therapist relationship. ) I know I'm a loser and better off dead. 

Is help them making me feel worse? Making me feel like I don't deserve to live and my life is worthless? What is the help that I'm supposed to be getting?