Like I meet a person a gauge they’re ideals, oh yeah here are some buzzwords I learned while I talked to other people in the community. I’m the cool chick, everyone doesn’t love me but I think they do because i relate and I’m easy to talk to. The thing is I have been so many people and I had so many visions of myself I don’t know what the fuck I am. Hookups and relationships forget about it, I do what I can to keep them around. We sleep together and then they are my favorite person in the world. Fuck who am I. I want to be me I don’t know who me is though. I feel like a coward be cause I have no ideals I personally stand by. No political ideology, no passions. It’s all a copy of what I think people like. It’s fucking with me so bad right now especially at the age I am right now. Right now tho drugs are my personality, sex is my personality. I gauge my life on how many people want me. I am vain and I want plastic surgery, and change every aspect of my outer self. I don’t care then people will love me. But Is that really me What do I do?? 