Going through the usual feelings and emotional turmoil and nothingness.

I came to uttering this sentence.

"I just want to be happy."  

Many things didn't go my way, which is normal. I didn't have major sad or unfortunate events unfolding, so I thought I had to keep going and keep living. Enjoy the small things in life. But I
Nothing nothing makes me happy or intrigued or excited.

I don't do drugs or alcohol, and I don't want any of that. 

I'm doing absolutely anything and everything that's harming my body and soul in the long run though. 

Gosh. It's so tough and futile.

I just want to be happy.