I didn’t realize how much this helped me feel connnected to others and get advice. It’s such a relief to see it back! Update: I recently had oral surgery three days ago, emergency oral surgery at that. Naturally my anxiety skyrocketed as it has continued to do throughout my healing. I haven’t slept more than 3 hours since the surgery which I know is counterproductive to healing. I’m too nervous about delayed healing and I’m convinced I have dry socket and possibly cancerous lesions. I know I’m probably just flipping out and Google doesn’t help. I’m probably being irrational, but that’s from a recent cancer scare just a few weeks ago. I go in for a biopsy to determine whether or not it’s cancer in July. I keep telling myself to calm down but when I do it doesn’t last. Other worries pop up like a vicious carousel. Late at night my mind runs wild. Idk, I keep freaking out. The pain in my mouth and overall mood is preventing me from eating properly and I’ve been dropping weight considerably in the last month. Overall I’m kinda miserable. I didn’t even mention the open relationship I find myself in. It’s been heavy. Though it hasn’t all been bad. I relapsed terribly a few months ago but after I promised myself to never self harm again. I’ve FORCED myself to cope differently. I even started running, it’s taxing on my body due to my constant fatigue and persistent vomiting/nausea but still I am PROUD. I’ve been extremely proactive about my health even with the challenges and lack of financial stability. I’m still awaiting a disability decision. I started this process November 2020. I am absolutely poor and constantly in fear of being put out becuase I can’t afford rent. I’m blessed to have my partner support us both, but it causes great strain in our relationship and if you’ve seen my posts before you know that was VERY messy. I wake up every single day fearful. BUT one positive outcome is the ability to reach out to you all and receive compassion when I’d otherwise feel unseen, unloved and misunderstood. I’m going through it and unsure of my future but I feel a little less alone again.