I've been depressed for a while, I joke about it with my friends and make light of it but it's there.  
I guess at my last job I met a lot of similar people and not being so isolated helped. Gave me motivation to go and start hanging out with my friends more, even became friends with some of the coworkers. 

Then covid hit, and the isolation returned, I got fatter and fell back into depression and anxiety. It took a while but once work started up again it wasn't long till things were a little better, not great but it was a steady improvement, lost weight, got a better job and made some vague attempts at self improvement. The issues have always remained though, sometimes in the background, othertimes up front and now I feel like things are spiraling. I finally got a better job but the economic situation globally means I'm still stuck living with my parents, half of my already small friend group has left for better jobs and my own issues with social interaction make it difficult to go out to meet people outside of those I'm comfortable with. And even then finding motivation to actually want to go hang out with my friends is getting more and more difficult. Being a 27 year old guy living with his parents doesn't help with my self confidence\esteem either.
I want to get better, I know the steps people recommend for depression and I know what helps me feel better but the more depressed I feel the harder it is to want to do any of that. 
I can't even tell the ones I trust the most about my issues, reaching out feels impossible and when I do have the desire to I don't want to burden others with my issues or they feel so pathetic that I worry how they'll view me even when I know that's stupid. I have the better job I wanted but in doing so I removed myself from the last place I felt like I sorta belonged, then my friends left and it left me feeling stranded, desperately trying not to cling to those around me.