i fucked up my relationships with all of my friends last night. they refuse to talk to me, but also wouldn't talk to me either. the cognitive dissonance between me knowing what I'm doing is toxic but being so sick and sad that i cant stop is making every second of my life pain. i just want a break, but no matter what i do i just keep falling further and further. i don't know what to do. i need help but don't know how to get it. I want to check myself into a psych ward but can't tell if i actually need to go or if I'm just being dramatic and trying to make people feel bad for me

&amp;#x200B;

everything hurts