So, to begin, I loved this girl, tremendously. You went through various different diagnosis. From bipolar to borderline and the whole way was difficult. I'm sure for her too. I had a feeling she was really trying. Then she went behind my back after having an argument. She went out of town and met with a "friend" that she had been with in the past. So, I ended it. I loved her but that sort of behavior hurts. Yet I still struggle. She still messages me randomly about arbitrary things like what's the name of a pizza place we went to. I've blocked her phone, social media, etc but she knows my personal email. That's said, I feel like I'm developing borderline traits. I don't trust anyone anymore, I drink heavily now. I love her but I hate nearly all of her actions and she won't just let me be. I know you don't mean to hurt people but my question is, iF someone tells you that you are hurting them why do you keep contact?