In February my friend of 10+ years stopped talking to me and on the one hand I'm fine with it because she was an annoying Yas queen but on the other hand I don't really have anyone to do anything with. My mom and my sister are my only companions so I guess I'm a-grade weird. My ex friend was busy a lot so I didn't really have anyone to do anything with even when she was around. But I went from 2 friends to 1 friend and the one left is married and told me she had a week of fancy dinners planned so she only had one free day that week Soo... 

The problem is I've never had a ton of friends. Idk why. I moved a few times in school. I feel like strong bonds are created in middle school and I missed out. I lost my friend group from high school because of a rumor and had to start over senior year. I was in a wedding with the girl who started the rumor last year and the bride told me to get over the rumor. But part of the reason I find that so hard is because that shit happens everywhere. In college, my jobs teased me to my face or bitched behind my back to management. I had a group project that went to the teacher and complained about me. A friend lifted my resume off indeed and got a job when I couldn't. Everyone just gets weird when they decide they don't like me. People don't tell me, they just act weird. It hurts. Everything hurts so bad. 

I'm trying to make friends on bumble bff and it fucking sucks. I quit sometimes because it's just so much rejection. I try to be nice and interesting and interested but it doesn't seem to matter. I have a few online friends and they're both acting so weird right now. I don't know what I did. If they don't want to talk, I wish they would ghost instead of slow fading me. Slowfade sucks. The whole time I'm just overthinking what I said. I hate myself.