All my life ive felt like an outsider... I'm nothing but a failure at everything may it be finding love, friendships, my own hobbies, school and of course my job 

I've been beaten down to a pulp by my failure of even finding a single friend and failed love life 

It's been months since my breaking point at 18 when I tried to get back put into the world... I've never felt the same I feel like I'm living in the "silent hill" games since then... a forever purgatory haunted by my inner demons

I feel like I'm helpless I've tried to much to help and I feel the breaking point was me realizing nothing  and nobody will help me (but honestly I'm not so sure it feels like it's been so long ago..)

I'm honestly past ready for sucide I'm just scared of a slow and painful death or even worse... surviving