I want to start off by saying I'm just so unsure of all of this, I'm hesitant to really talk about it because of  stigmas and what not

I'm a 19 year old male

I'm led to believe that I have Schizophrenia but who knows what it is, I'm just gonna list things I go through but I don't want to make it seem like I just looked up the symptoms and I'm.just blindly attaching things in my life to them. For the past couple years I've had this issue where I would think I overheard someone say something about me and then later on find out I was wrong, it's been happening alot recently. Now it's just like I feel like I hear people say stuff under their breath, and it's like weird because I can understand one person being quirky and whispering and saying stuff under their breath around me but multiple just sounds weird. Sometimes I feel like I can't turn my brain off, like it's just going playing random songs and saying random things and I have no control over stopping it. I feel like people stare at me in public, though this could be because I have bad eyesight and I can't really see the details on someone's face as they approach me, it still makes me really anxious. I visit my friends house often and I get the feeling his family is out to get me and that they don't like me even though he's told me that I'm the favorite out of all the guests that enter the house. I've generally avoided them for the 5 years I've been going over there and I've just started opening up to them in the past recent months. I used to have a situation where I felt like one of my friends cousins were playing songs intentionally to bother me, like the songs they were playing were meant to taunt me. (She plays  alot of in love songs and I feel like it's a shot at me since I'm bi and had a crush on my friend when we first met) At work I feel like people don't like me because I get praise for doing such a good job, though that doesn't really bother me it just makes me want to push harder and show them up. I do drugs, weed. Not too often though, I smoked about almost everyday to 3/4 times a week senior year of high school and now I only smoke Saturday and Sundays. I over explain things so people can understand them better. I secretly resent my narccist mom but I'd never tell her that and my relationship with my dad isn't all to well. For probably the 5th time this year I've snapped on my friend for no reason at all apparently. I felt like he was trying to exploit the fact that I'm bi and lead me on just to shoot me down and boost his ego, early today I texted him and called him out on it and again he proved that I was wrong and being delusional. I felt so bad I was starting problems I cried. In terms of relationships the last one I was in was great with a great person but I just stopped caring and broke it off. I don't have health insurance so I can't see a doctor, I contacted a mental health organization thingy(NAMI) to see if they could help and I'm waiting on a response. I don't know what to think, after what happened earlier with my friend I'm convinced something's wrong