I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now. I genuinely love him more than anything. But after one of my emotional outbursts one night he deemed that he doesn't know if he can go on with me, that it's hazy.  Of course this didn't happen instantly, and we've definitly had our ups and downs for a little over a year now, and he hasn't been able to handle the moments when I have outbursts (which to specify aren't at all personally directed towards him, just towards my own insecurities and anxiety), especially since I had to stay with my parents for 2 months during Corona and my mental state got really bad. He still deeply cares about me and is also very afraid of what'll happen if he breaks it off, which i'm also very afraid of. He's afraid that he's too exhausted to ever be like "before", and that the damage I have caused will never go away in his perception of things. In july I started seeing a therapist twice a month, and will continue to do so, but he's afraid that it's "too late" as well. In september we both start uni again and I think that the routine will help us immensely, but this month of august is in between, and i'm extremely afraid of every day that goes by, it's really difficult to cope. So the situation is just very hazy, and i'm currently away from him in my own apartement while he's at his house (we spent 2 weeks together last wednesday, and i've been alone since then).     
I've been having daily anxiety attacks due to simulating scenarios in my head where he leaves me, and the loneliness is absolutely crushing me. I'm doing my best to give him his space and not overwhelm him with messages and i've managed it well so far, but every day of this month is honestly torture to my brain, even if I find other friends to vent to or distractions. I genuinely don't know what i'll do if he decides to break up with me, I don't care about my university work enough to have the strength to continue without him by my side, and I don't even want to imagine a reality where it's the case. I am extremely dedicated to controlling my outbursts better and finding support and mechanisms, but I just absolutelt cannot accept the idea of him letting me go, he's the only thing that I deeply care about anymore. I understand that this is extremely unhealthy, that I should be living for "me" and not for "us", but I can't seem to do that right now.    
  

I guess this post was half to be able to clear out my thoughts a bit, and half to see if anyone has gone through something similar, or has advice. Thank you for taking the time to read and I am happy to provide any additional information about the situation.