I want to become a better housekeeper. I want to become more fit and sexier.

Part of it is because it’s just normal to keep a tidy home, and part of it is because it’s good for my health and self-confidence.

But a part of it, is for him. I want him to want me. I hope that by achieving these things, he won’t want to leave me. That his eyes will be on me.

A big part of these changes is still for validation and now just for myself. I just can’t help wanting the attention sometimes.