I'm tired of being so tired I feel like I'm fighting against everyone, and I feel like everyone wants a piece of me for themselves only to see me defeated and feed on me. I feel that I am alone against the world, and that I don't see clearly, not anymore. I'm just tired, tired of being so tired, tired of being so angry, tired of having to fight with everything and everyone by myself, tired of trying again and again, tired of knowing that I hope for things that will never come, tired of thinking about me and in my past and in the future. I feel like Atlas, carrying my world on my back, without help, without anyone, I feel that nothing good will come and that time will only fuck me as hard as it can. I feel like I'm always waiting for an ending that never comes. It's a tiredness that I can't get rid of, it's mental, all my mental chemistry wants to fuck me, wants to see me on the ground, and I always keep going, but lately I feel like it doesn't make sense. I feel as if God has abandoned me, as God's lonely man, as a kind of grateful Job. I feel like I'm a bad person, and that I'm doomed, and I don't even need forgiveness, I just accept what comes and move on, but I think I'm reaching my breaking point. I have learned so much, but I feel that there is nothing to change, it only remains to accept and resign myself but I am too stubborn for that. I don’t even know how or why I get up on the mornings. Always waiting, with the time eventually eating me.