I had a connection with a guy and completely sabotaged it by acting extreme and intense because I figured he would abandon me anyway and at least this way i knew the reason why. But I then continued to act completely insane around him, harass him on snapchat and try to make him hate me. I didn't even want to but i compulsively did. I don't even know why I did it. Now I regret it so much because he was everything and I fucked it up so much that I can never rectify it.