 I tried to make this as short as possible but I had a lot to say

So I recently got my grades back and I failed 3 out of 8 of the school subjects. And now I can't think of a reason to continue living. I had already have been dealing with suicidal thoughts for 3 years but I never did it because I was scared I'd miss a better future. However now I don't see anything for me, there is no way I am going to be allowed to continue studying at my school with my grades. What's worse is this year I am moving from middle school to high school so getting good grades is important, how am I suppose to go to high school if I failed. And I can't even look at my parents anymore, they want nothing to do with me, my mom even openly said she is ashamed to have given birth to such a failure, my dad won't stop screaming and yelling and reminding me of how much of a disappointment I am. They never care about my feelings, whenever I try to talk to them they say I am to young to feel depressed and if I wasn't always on my phone I wouldn't be so upset. I don't see the point of living when I know my life will just be disappointments one after another and I'll just be a burden for others like how I am a burden to my parents for always having to pay for my tuition because I can't get a scholarship.

I don't even know if I'm depressed or constantly sad because my parents refuse to let me talk to a therapist, how am I supposed to solve my problems if I don't even know what they are?