TW: I’m discussing the idea of not being in control of your own destiny etc. so if it’s a trigger for you, please consider not reading it &lt;3

Does anyone feel like the ”universe” or whatever you want to call it will punish you eventually? That every good thing in your life (especially a new, great FP) will be given to you just so the universe can take it away as a punishment? And I don’t mean driving away the person with your actions but moreso in a way of ”Oh… I over-indulged today, I don’t deserve the bits of good that I have in my life and now because of my irrational decision to indulge will lead to the universe punishing me by taking something good away”. That ”something good” can be something totally unrelated to the indulging behaviors. I often just feel like I’m constantly waiting for the ”punishment”… and that keeps me in a state of such deep fear and further triggers my fear of abandonment since I start to believe that its written in stone already and there is nothing I can do. Anyone relates to this? What should I do? How do I soothe myself?