I feel I’m mentally more stable on BC pill, less up and down less suicidal thought. 
But I feel depressed and no interest in anything except eat and sleep. 
when I’m not on the pill, my BPD is more noticeable with huge mood swing and suicidal thought, impulsive. But I have day I feel super happy and motive too(and also other side, super sad that can’t think being exist) 
I don’t know which is better.
What about you ? Any thought? 