i think that this is all getting way too out of hand. ive held onto this dream of mine for such a long time. anytime something bad happens, my mind immediately goes, "this is happening because my dream is about to come true!". for all i know, it is all impossible yet i can't seem to stop this thought process and i truly fool myself into thinking that i'm the most talented and most best looking human in the world– but then i collapse and my confidence hits real low. this all happens under the span of minutes.