I heard that benzodiazepines kind of turn people into mindless zombies, honestly at this point thats what i am after. After so many years of dealing with this and avoiding medication, i want to take that leap, but only if it is benzodiazepines. I am so sick of not being able to get the a day without having an anxiety attack, i am so sick of just being stuck in bed some days terrified to get up because something else might happen, i am so sick of just hoping things that can never happen, will happen. I just want to be the zombie on autopilot, it sounds easy, i just want easy, i am so done with putting in effort im just done, i have nothing left to give. i want to have such a high dose of electroshock therapy that it literally wipes my experiential memories, or i want to die, or i just want to be put on autopot the rest of my life.