My younger sister has BPD and it leads to her having breakdowns, often when she’s feeling anxious, unloved, recalling trauma, and just generally feeling overwhelmed. During these breakdowns she cries about all the things “wrong” with her (she has comorbidities), her insecurities, and how she wishes she was loved as a child and loved now by our parents. I try to respond with compassion and try to tell her things that might help to change the way she views things. Like I tell her she always deserved to be loved and treated better and she still deserves that now. I tell her that she’s not alone in how she feels and in what she’s going through (I say this because she was crying today about how there’s so much “wrong” with her and she feels like she’s the only one.) 

The thing is, I don’t know if I’m even helping her. She tells me she knows she deserved better treatment. I’m happy that at least she knows she deserves better. But I don’t know where to go from there. I know that with anxiety and mental breakdowns it’s like you can be aware that what you’re thinking isn’t entirely rational, but your emotions and feelings overwhelm you regardless. Does anyone have any tips on how I can help her? 

For the record, my sister is in therapy (although yet to start DBT- she’s on a wait list for that) and has a psychiatrist and will be starting medication soon. 

TLDR: how can I help my sister through her mental breakdowns, especially when she feels overwhelmed, anxious, insecure, and unloved? And when these feelings are rooted in trauma?