Hi. I've recently been diagnosed with PTSD (up from just a trauma and/or stressor related disorder before). I don't really have any specific flashbacks or anything, but I do have a lot of bad memories that used to give me nasty panic attacks if I remembered them all of a sudden. I still get panic attacks nearly daily, but I think that's a combination of my social anxiety disorder and the PTSD.

So, here's the thing : I grew up in a bad home and have had an abusive long term relationship and some really toxic friends growing up. I absolutely cannot stand anger--not in that it makes me angry, but in that I'm scared and incredibly uncomfortable and on the verge if not already in a panic attack. Most of the time I avoid standing up to these people in my life because it just redirects their anger at me, but I try every once in a while to engage and help calm them down or offer advice or insight. This almost always ends poorly for me, but I do it anyway because I want to help and they get even angrier or more upset if I just ignore them.

At this point in my life, I'm just about done trying to help. I honestly don't even know if I want these people in my life anymore; they're so negative and petty. The problem is I live with one (my partner), his best friends are another two, and I am related to a few others. I think it's a trigger for my ptsd when people around me are angry because I don't know when they're going to snap due to trauma and it's just very difficult to live with.

Any advice? Is it unreasonable to want people to avoid anger like this? For example I hate when my partner yells and slams doors, and I hate when his friends use cursing / all caps / long angry run on sentences and paragraphs in the group chat I'm in (every time I try to help or introduce reason or try to get them to see another side their anger gets redirected at me, every time I try to ignore it someone throws a fit and leaves the group bc "no one cares" etc, it's like they just want me to say I'm sorry and enable their petty behaviors).

Not everyone in my life is like this, I should note. Most if not all of the friends I've made in college are great; it's just my family and my boyfriend's friends from high school that they've tried to integrate me into. I kind of feel like these people are holding me back and making it harder for me to heal from my trauma