Basically my roommate's girlfriend is home for now and weren't I destroyed physically and mentally for having past the whole day cleaning the house, I would feel sad as fuck now. It's funny, I keep complaining I'm still single and that people don't love me as much as I wanted to be loved, but I do little effort to be around people and do everything against being a lovable person so long as it makes me feel good or is about that specifical thing I recall as identity. It's even funnier because I understand I shouldn't be trying to date right now. There's just too many things in my life that I can't even take care of me, let alone give someone else attention. I shouldn't even feel like dating someone so hard. I don't even like sex, I should be self sufficient and independent. Dude, I don't know, I'm just so tired now. And I feel so jealous anyway. Just need to vent.