As title says, in July this year i started feeling worse than i normally do. I stopped going for my normal runs, started eating like shiit, and have gained over 15kgs since then. Literally have nothing i like about myself. Thought it’s just another low for me then, and thought i’d get better in a matter of weeks. Its been 5 months and i don’t feel any different. I just feel like i don’t belong anywhere. I’m literally on the verge of breaking down every night. 

Feels like my lows are terribly low and my highs are mediocre at best. 

I’m supposed to meet some friends that i haven’t met in months later today, and I’m stressing out about the judgment I’m about to face. I look like shiit and have nothing going on in my life. 

I have never felt so alone, or like i don’t even fit into my family, this bad before. 

This sucks