It's extremely common for people to write about us as if we are robots incapable of real, human emotion. They say we have a black hole inside of us, can never experience remorse or guilt, don't know what love feels like. They think that every single negative thing we do is intentional, and we exist solely to ruin other people's lives.

In other words, they don't think our pain is real. They think we are inventing it to be manipulative. If we can't experience emotions, then we can't experience emotional pain. If we lash out, or act manipulatively, or are suicidal, we just doing it to torture them.

It takes one second of googling to understand that our pain is very, very real. It is commonly cited as one of the most painful disorders to have. It is listed under the wikipedia page for emotional agony.

This disorder is full of pain. It is the type of pain that infects every thought you have. It is the type of pain that you would do anything to escape, even if it means dying. 

But the pain isn't constant. The reason why we can act like normal human beings after having a breakdown is because the pain has subsided. It is not because the pain was never real. It is because the pain existed until it didn't anymore, like every other type of pain that people experience. 

Yes, this means that we can do a lot of manipulative things. This means that we can do a lot of abusive things. 

But that doesn't mean that we can't get better. Getting better is about accepting the pain we feel and learning when it is and isn't okay to act on it, and HOW it is or isn't okay to act on it. It's about accepting that our pain is temporary, and it will not kill us. It's about accepting that we are wired differently, but that doesn't mean we are completely doomed, or incapable of genuine human connection. 

Our pain is real, but it won't last forever.