Long story short, my now-former significant other was my fp for seven years, on and off. Since I was 19 he was of course one of my closest friends but more importantly the person whose emotional validation I became completely addicted to and dependent on. After years of friendship, we started dating a year ago. We broke up a month ago because I knew it could never work. He was so emotionally unavailable and I blamed my outbursts on that. I was so fixated on him not giving me what I need that I never saw the fact that my needs were irrational and unhealthy, and came very close on many occasions to being abusive - maybe I even crossed that line. I don't know. He was not a good partner for me, but I feel like he did not know this side of me because it's a side I've been - and still am - ashamed of. I didn't even know the concept of an fp at the time and he has no idea that I'm getting DBT to treat borderline symptoms - he thought I was just getting therapy for my former diagnosis of cyclic depression. I want him to know now what's really going on in my head. But I'm trying to do right by myself and live my life without this person I always hurt who always hurts me. I'm obsessing over this more than I've obsessed over anything in months. I don't know what to do.