*trigger warning*

Last Wednesday i was 3 days sober then the withdrawals were too much to handle i landed in the ER they reffered me to the local phych hospital for the next day but instead i decided to drink that night. 

That night i got SMASHED and broke my coffee table and cried about it on the floor for 45 mins. My husband decided to go to bed then i decided to take approx 20 lorazepam and cut my wrist with a knife. I panicked and woke my husband up and we called the ambulance.

At the hospital i was treated like trash. They did not take me siriously, ofcoars i was incoherent. I spent 27 hours in the phych ward to be given 8 Diazepam to last me till monday till the psych hospital opens. I had to demand the help they were just gonna send me home once i sobered up.

Then i got drunk again the next day ( sigh ) i wanted one last hurra. Well i did. I trashed our apartment, broke our Christmas tree, including our honeymoon Christmas ornament... i had to be restraint. I passed out on the floor in my own urine and woke up to my husband bathing me....
I vowed to me and my husband that i am done.

I am 1 day sober. I called the phych hospital, they are closed for the holidays. I am doing this on my own.