I posted yesterday about my therapist going on leave. He never showed up for my appointment, his supervisor called later and said he's on personal leave, but it's an indefinite personal leave. She cancelled all future appointments and said he'll call me if he can see me again. I'm losing it. What if he doesn't come back? How do I cope without my therapist? I've seen him for a bit over a year and a half so I've come to really trust him, and he's been there through suicide attempts, leaving an abusive relationship, trips to rehab and the hospital; everything that's happened. I can't just get a new therapist like my family and roommates tell me. I very likely won't find another DBT therapist I can afford in my city, so I'm going to have to go to a community place probably and work with some student that will just move on when their internship is over. I never even got to say goodbye to him so there's no closure. I'm self destructing. Everything we had worked on is blowing up. I'm back to suicidal ideation, binge eating, self-harming and just not caring. Fuck everything, why even bother trying when I lost my support. I'm alone, nobody understands how devastating this is. I've been crying so much since I found out. I feel abandoned by everybody. I have IOP Monday, but why bother going? I'm supposed to have a therapist though while I'm in the group, and I no longer have one. I just feel abandoned and like I'm going to explode if I don't find someone I can talk to who understands this. Yet I simultaneously feel ridiculous for caring so much and being so upset, because I don't want to depend on anybody (after all everybody leaves in the end). I'm starting to lose control and all of these feelings are too strong. It hurts so much and I can't even use DBT skills to get this under control. Has anybody else dealt with this kind of situation? 