My landlord and I have been having trouble. Today was the first day that I opened up a little and we both were basically crying. 
preface: I REALLY want to connect with my landlord in a healthy and honest way. 

In the moment that I realized we’re having a connection, a part of my brain told me that I’m “successfully manipulating her”. It instantly took ahold of me and I was fighting that thought while trying to maintain my emotions, emotions then appearing “fake”. 
We’re both confused on whether or not trust had been established. 
That’s the worst part. 
It’s like I went through a series of intense things and without a positive takeaway and it breaks my heart.
I feel like the situation deserved so much more than what I had strength to give it.