I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I went through something that has really effected me and I know it because I’ve never felt this low before. Most of the time I just feel depressed. When I wake up I just lay in bed thinking about it for hours. I constantly think why, how did this happen to me why me? I don’t have motivation for anything. I want to study and do well in school, I want to better my body and work out, I buy books so I can read, but I just can’t. I want to isolate myself. I feel lonely, but when someone talks to me I get irritated or just don’t want to talk to them. I constantly think about not wanting to be here anymore so I don’t feel this way anymore. I lay in bed and let this feeling consume me and the only thing that runs through my mind is that I don’t want to feel this way anymore. When I think about what happened to me and how I feel, my breathing gets faster and I get overwhelmed. But on the other hand I have my normal days. Where I’m able to shut these thoughts out and don’t let it affect me and I start to feel like I’m getting better. But then it starts all over again.  I don’t feel okay. And I can’t emphasize it enough. Nothing brings joy to me anymore.