i kept dismissing it as “oh these posts are relatable but it’s probably not as bad as them, it’s probably just the ptsd symptoms overlapping” but i just feel so validated now. i can finally start to say i wasn’t just being dramatic and making it all up for self pity. i can finally try to validate myself whenever i have my crazy emotions instead of hating myself for overreacting. i can finally say no its not embarrassing that i’m super clingy and my fear of abandonment stops me from having real relationships, i don’t have to think, “i’m not supposed to feel like this so why do i?” and try to force myself to be more “normal”, feeling infuriated with myself when i won’t just be “normal”. i feel so validated. so much of my behaviour makes sense now. i feel like a weight has been taken off me. the layer of dismissal and denial and gaslighting has been taken off and now i can focus on dealing with these things instead of expecting myself to just *not have* these feelings. I feel like i can relax for a bit. like i could actually sit down and watch something without feeling distracted, but idk if that’s actually gonna happen. all that uncertainty and doubt feels irrelevant now. like i can actually just be my stupid dramatic self without expecting myself to be otherwise? i feel like i’m allowed to care about myself without guilt now, because a medical professional has told me i actually do need attention, and my parents have to take my emotions seriously now. i’ve always thought caring about yourself was a luxury, a selfish thing to do that i couldn’t do without feeling unworthy of it. fuck i could just scream. i want to jump up and down and just scream!!!!! but my parents are home. my psych also said home is a trigger for me and nothing has ever made more sense. it sounds obvious but it makes so much sense i feel so validated, god.