For almost and hour ive been trying to Type what bothers me, trying to Vent and let out my frustration but i cant. It is to much or becomes nonsens for anyone without context in the other hand i also dont feel like it, ive Just been feeling empty the past weeks. Something is missing that never was there. I feel unvisible, lonley, tierd, ashame, angry .. so many things at once and i cant controll those feelings as they usually takeover. 


Im jelous of my roommate. Hes having a hard time but hes dealing with it in a healthy way, building him self up. Seeing him so passionate and happy makes me feel so shitty in comparison. I want to have what he has, but i dont know how. I dont have that Energy or Motivation he has.


The fact that He is 22 and seems so in controll of his life makes me so Furious about my self. Im 26 and i still feel like a child. I never grew up and i cant really take care of myself.  i just feel pathetic and i hate myself.