 I have struggled with anxiety my entire life, getting diagnosed at a very young age, and it has been so bad, I can barely do anything. I struggled in school, as I could barely make it through a week without several anxiety attacks. I had to leave to do online school. Its bad, constant, I cant the remember the last time I have been truely content. I have tried everything, every medicine you can think of, up too actual sedatives, therapy, everything. It just is never ending, its grown even worse with Covid as well, the state of the world, worrying about everything from my family getting sick, to climate change destroying the world. Not helping in the past few months with developing health anxiety which is some of the worst anxiety I have had in a long time. I just, don't know what to do, breathing doesn't help, distracting myself doesn't help, its just never ending, and I just want it to stop, I am scared and unsure what to do. I am too fearful of death to try that, but some days I just wish I didn't exist. I am such a drain on everyone around me, and I hate it so much. I don't know what I want with this post, I cant really say this to anyone around me, as I will just get empty "you feel better" or "its okay nothing to worry about", " it will pass in time" and it doesn't help that I am trapped inside my head with this ferocious monster slowly consuming me. I don't know what to do.