I’m losing control of my life and everyone else is enjoying it. It hurts my chest when i breathe right now and i’m not sure what that is but it’s getting worse. i’m also getting dizzy over and over. 
My family, my friends, and now my coworkers  - all hate me. My coworker talked smacked about my boss and my other coworker and i just anxiously laughed and said “ok” and now i feel like crap. i should of told him to stop or not to say that but i didn’t. instead i did my weird awkward anxious laugh. 
My family hates me, all of them. My friends won’t call me. So now i sit in a dark shadowy corner in my house ready to start my downward spiral.
What is at the bottom? I’ve thought about what suicide is like and what could happen but i never had the idea of doing it. Is that what is at the bottom of my downward spiral?
My boss was the only thing who believed in me. He now hates me just like everyone else.
God please take me up to you - please let me my last breathe happen while i sleep. I don’t deserve this planet and these awesome ppl. PLEASE it just hurts too much right now - i don’t want to fight to live anymore.