i'm been struggling with intense panic disorder for the past seven years. during the first summer, i was thrown some lorazepam by the urgency care doctor, .5mg one time daily, enough for 10 days. on the 11th evening, i had a HUGE relapse of panic, along with what i can only describe as withdrawal symptoms. 

now, according to many that i've spoken to over the years, that doesn't make sense. my dosage was very low, and it was only for 10 days. but after doing some digging, it turns out that benzos are tangibly related to alcohol, and my asian family has the hereditary trait of being extra sensitive to anything alcohol related (we can't get drunk, only slightly tipsy or blackout dead). i can only assume that's the answer to my benzo experience. 

i've been crawling by with only antihistamines and anti-convulsants acting as my 'emergency' pills, but my family has been gently urging me to go back to Taiwan for a season or two, have fun, find a good job, which they and I believe would really help with re-wiring my brain to be less panicky all the time. after all, even now my 'happy place' when I'm panicky is to remember my past summers vacationing in my homeland.

the big hurdle is, of course, the long haul plane ride from USA to Taiwan. my service dog application is on a long wait list, so my only option for the near future is proper medication to basically knock me out and keep me calm. which would be, of course, tranqs. 

i need to know my maximum dosage limit that i can take safely. there are no specialists that can measure it officially (the allergy clinic had no answers nor recommendations), and i've been experimenting with .5mg clonazepam, no more than totalling 1mg a week. but i don't think that's enough, or maybe that tranq in particular isn't for me. 

anybody else in my shoes? even if not, do you have any advice for me?