You know what’s really cruel? Knowing I have all these tools, and all these things to self-soothe when I feel dejected and rejected, like I’m a burden, or I’ve been too much… and just not wanting to fucking use them. 

There’s this creeping feeling when the emotions threaten to spill over, that it will feel so good if I just let them out. If I just cry to the point of not being able to breathe, if I hyperventilate to the point of pain. If I just tear my face wide open as the sobs wreck my eyes and my mouth and my cheeks, my hot, tired cheeks. 

And crying and letting it out is definitely needed but I mean when you do the crying part but none of the DBT alongside it. Sometimes the emotions feel nicer, or easier, and familiar, I guess.