Hi, so I (30m) matched with someone (27f) on a dating app four weeks ago.

After 2 weeks of talking we were meant to go on our first date but on the day she went through a bad mood shift, suggesting we shouldn’t talk anymore.
That‘s when she told me she has bpd. I didn‘t know much about it and did a quick Google on it. However, what I read didn‘t change the fact that I think she‘s amazing, so I told her. She sent me a video on the topic so that I could make my mind up whether I still wanted to try it.

So we kept talking, then we were meant to go on a date the week after but this time she was physically ill. 

Cue to last week: I went on a work social on Thursday evening, she‘s sent me a voice note saying she misses me. I called her when I got back home and we talked for a bit. The call ended with her hanging up out of the blue - which is something she has occasionally done in the past. The next day we were meant to finally go on that date but on that Friday she stopped replying to my messages so it didn‘t happen again. 

On Sunday morning she messaged me but completely ignored anything about the previous days. I didn’t want pressure her too much so I didn‘t ask her about the why but suggested maybe it‘s better if we meet spontaneously when she‘s having a good day. Then she went back to the same “let‘s just stop talking“ from a few weeks ago.

I‘m a bit at a loss as to what do now. I really like her but I don‘t know if this is because she‘s having a bad phase that‘s been going on for multiple days now or if it‘s her final decision. I‘m I doing the right thing by not messaging her anymore or will she just see that as a validation of the abandonment that she might fear?