So I got invited by my friends Casey and Kylie (made up names) to go to a creative video showing at a bar downtown. I was supposed to be driving into the city with my friend Stacy but she canceled because she wasn’t feeling up to it (which I understand). I was already nervous about going because my friend Kylie and I have been in an awkward spot. She’s stopped asking me to hang out because I always cancel because of my depression and anxiety but she doesn’t seem to understand this. Last time I FaceTimed Kylie to try and clear the air and I told her I was feeling really depressed and anxious lately and all she said was “hmmm.”

ANYWAYS  

 I didn’t really want to go but couldn’t cancel on these friends because I’ve canceled the past 2 times when we all tried to hang out. I drove downtown alone and parked and tried to text Kylie to come meet me at where I parked. She wasn’t really answering my text. My other friend  Casey who was at a different spot was answering but I don’t think she knew I was there (once I told her later that I was she said she would’ve walked with me). Anyways I wanted someone to walk with me from my car to the restaurant because it’s in a very dangerous part of town and I didn’t feel comfortable walking around as a young girl.

Kylie was at a restaurant with two friends I didn’t really know and I’m fine with social interaction but I was mad before getting there because she wasn’t answering her phone and didn’t walk with me. I put it aside for now because I didn’t want to cause a scene but after the restaurant Kylie her two friends and I walk down to the bar where the show is at and meet our other friend Casey. I immediately felt anxious and I went to the bathroom and totally broke down and cried. My instinct was just to get out of there and go to my car and leave so that’s what I did. I didn’t tell anyone I was leaving and when I got to my car I couldn’t stop panicking. It took them both maybe 10 to 15 minutes to finally called me and asked me where I was. I ignored their calls because I was crying so much I couldn’t calm down. Casey tried calling me twice and I know she cares about me more and Kylie only tried calling me once. Casey also texted me multiple times asking if I was OK but I heard nothing from Kylie. I felt I was being harsh when responding to Casey because she asked where I was and all I said was “I left.” But finally get home and the next day Casey texted me asking why I left and if I got home OK and I said I wasn’t feeling well and I asked how the show went but she never responded. Again no response from Casey but I don’t know if I can blame her because I did ignore her call. I just wish someone would’ve asked me if I was OK earlier at the bar because I was barely talking and I feel like it was obvious I was upset. I didn’t want to ruin the night or cause a scene so I thought it would be best if I just left without telling them in a crowded bar where I knew I would break down. 

I feel like I ruined the friendship and I’m not as close with these people anymore. I think I’m also bitter because I used to be closer with Casey and now Casey and Kylie are getting closer. I feel like my friends don’t care about me. 
This was just a rant and I’m kind of sad Kylie didn’t text me or reach out especially since she knows I’ve been depressed lately. There’s always another side to every story so I know I might sound petty or assuming things. Idk what to do.