without therapy, i’m a complete wreck and have been hospitalized when i haven’t been able to see her, or when past ones have stopped working as therapists. my only glimmer of hope is seeing my therapist every week and unloading all of the insane emotions and switches my mind has went through. it feels like every day is a new battle and fighting with my therapist makes it manageable, but i don’t know if i’ll ever be in control. i’m working on accepting the crazy intense switches with anything i encounter in life, but it’s not like they’ll ever go away, all i can do is manage. but i can’t without her. i don’t know if i’ll ever be strong enough. my bpd feels so much stronger than me. i wish i was never born at all if this is what my life is. has anyone felt true hope for themselves? i feel so alone with this.