(May be mention of suicidal thoughts) I had entered the first successful relationship of my life. I’m 16 w/BPD (I believe my chart says symptoms due to age since Im Canadian and a lot of the time they’re really hesitant to diagnosis you until you go to a residential place) and had been dating my previous girlfriend for over eight months. I find that impressive for both the age and the BPD part of things, but I just feel empty. We broke up earlier today, and I had been doing a lot better through alternative therapy (not going into it because I’m young and don’t want to condone the therapy I’m doing due to lack of research, however it is working very well) and I just feel like I lost all my progress. 

I feel like I don’t have anyone now because I had moved before covid, and didn’t mean a single new person where I began attending high school. I can’t connect to anyone since I’ve last met the girl I previously dated, it’s been 8 months with no real “relationships” (not just dating) forming between me and anyone. I’ve ghosted most my friends months ago. I feel really really lonely and I just I thought I was doing well because of course I’d have the odd freak out but it wasn’t even usually ever directed towards my girlfriend, and she knew that and she’d talk me through it. However she was also having issues and she said she can’t do it anymore with the both of us, which I understand. I just. I don’t know what to do because the second she said I can’t do this I just felt like I can’t be her friend, and I don’t want to be. Yet I don’t have anyone else left in my life at all. I don’t know what to do, because when I stay in close friendships with my exes it always hurts way more than never seeing them again. I just feel really numb and bad and I can feel myself wanting to go manic again (messaging the haters on here lol every time I go hypoMANIC I do that)