    Okay, only a handful of the closest people in my life know this. So in high school after football season my senior year I was with my uncle at his buddies house. They started talking about how they take adderall and how great it was &amp; how you can get anything done with it. So the next week I asked my doctor if I could get on it for more concentration in school. He said since I had so many concussions that he could prescribe it to me without any tests, he also gave me the highest dose aderall comes in because I told him that I took my uncles and felt good. So I started taking it and was the best feeling I’ve ever had, honestly felt like I was the happiest person on earth. After a while i started not concentrating on school and on things that mattered the less. My grades tanked and I started hanging out with the wrong people and smoking weed all day every day. I had no sense of consequences for my actions, a side affect of that medication if you’re not ADHD. After about a year of non stop taking it everyday I was losing my mind it felt like. I didn’t know who I loved or who loved me, I was out of touch with reality, and I was losing everything I had held close to my heart all my life. I started getting suicidal and actually tried to kill myself. I closed my eyes and slammed the gas in my truck and tried to hit a tree on the side of the road. The truck somehow turned off right after I gassed it. A week later I tried to kill myself by OD’ing and had to get life flighted. The last time I tried, I was taken to the hospital and they sent me to a rehab. The doctor there said the aderall was not necessary and took me off of it. A few months later I started getting this feeling of sadness and feeling a certain way about people and things. I was crying every day all day for no reason at all, the worst feeling I’ve ever felt in my life. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. The feeling is still to this day indescribable, it’s was also a mix of bad anxiety. So I went to the doctor and they started me on medication and diagnosed me with clinical depression/treatment resistant bi-polar depression &amp; anxiety. I had no luck with medication and when I did I would ruin the positive effects by drinking. To this day I haven’t found a medication to help me, Completely. They’ve ran out of medicines to try. I’ve gotten a lot better and sustainable from what it was but it’s still not good to live with. I’ve been on this medicine I’m on now for a while, I don’t drink or anything and still have bad days all the time. I’ve tried working out and all. The doctor said it’s a chemical imbalance In my brain, the aderall created such a high level in (I think it’s called) dopamine in my brain that when I quit cold Turkey it couldn’t compensate anymore for the loss. Supposedly it would have been different if I would have gotten off of aderall little at a time. I’ve been living with this for 4 years now. Im 24. Im tired of it. I need help. It took so much to actually post this, It’s been months of thinking about doing it. I’ve searched up so many things over the years and I haven’t found anything helpful or even a similar situation to mine. I feel like my doctors already gave up on me. I just want to get better so I can be the best dad and husband I can to my family without this constant pain. Thanks so much in advance. This is my shortened story.