I am currently in the middle of an argument with the person I love more than I have ever loved anything. We have been together for roughly 4 years. We're long distance right now. 

We have gone through bouts of fighting particularly over the past year where it has gotten nasty. Mostly  when I'm being a jerk, but I feel like I bring out the worst in her in those moments. She's amazing in every single way and I love her like indescribably crazy but she can also be incredibly stubborn with arguments. She's a lawyer, who would have thought?

That's not an excuse, though. I pulled the breakup card. Again. I shouldn't have, I'm an asshole for doing it and I don't know how to mend it. I don't want to break up. It feels like I'm always in the wrong, and while she's an incredible and supportive partner, it's like I'm not ever allowed to be in the right on any argument. It makes me question my own reality sometimes honestly. I believe I'm in the right on this particular issue, but then "you never acknowledge responsibility in these issues" comes up. Maybe I am in the wrong at the core of it. I don't know, I just wish I didn't forget shit all the time so I could know for sure.

This shit is so fucking stressful sometimes. End rant.