Last night I had a dream of everything I ever wanted and so much more! I was happy TRULY HAPPY no fake smile bs! It was amazing! I had a comforting girlfriend, great friends and All of everything I ever wanted and best of all I felt genuinely satisfied with myself for once! I didn’t feel like a failure or a screwup nothing like that at all! I felt successful and content with myself like I could finally look in the mirror and go “Heck yeah! I’m the man!” I even finally had the great bonds with my friends that I dreamed of and longed for EVERYTHING I could imagine that I wanted… the life I WANT to live! 
I woke up crying because it was all just ripped away from my grasps… I’m back to being just me…. I tell you… if what I experienced and saw was REALLY some alternate reality version of myself I would LOVE to trade places with him.