I was recently diagnosed with BPD at almost 30. My 20s were wild but my life is pretty together now. I have a good career, a nice apartment, financial stability and a sweet boyfriend of almost 2 years. 

I pick fights with my boyfriend all the time. It's the same cycle every time. I read too much into something and am convinced he doesn't love me enough. I pick a fight over something minor. I cry for an hour and sometimes self-harm or break things. We apologize and make up. I feel terrible about it for days.

I'm pretty normal most of the time. I don't pick fights with friends or coworkers. But when I get upset with my boyfriend I feel like I'm possessed by a demon.

My boyfriend doesn't deserve this. He's a sweet guy who loves me and tries his best.  My past relationships were pretty shitty (but not abusive shitty), so I feel like my "blueprint" is unhealthy. How do I fucking STOP this?