I (M24) have been dating my gf (F24) for a little over a year. We went through the honeymoon phase for the first few months of the relationship which is very common. Once this phase ends you start to discover the real person. Before I get into any detail I want to describe the both of us. 

I am: very easygoing, spontaneous, super social, very friendly, love to talk, optimistic, and have no trauma.

My gf: isn’t as “go with the flow,” less social (hesitant to meet new people), is less of a talker than I am, neither optimistic or pessimistic (middle ground), and has family trauma.

After our honeymoon phase we would still do lots of fun things and be cute together but these little arguments started to arise. I know it takes two to argue and I know that nobody is perfect but I do know that she is always the one to start these arguments and that I’ve never gotten into these stupid arguments with anyone else. Here are a few examples:

1. There was one point where everytime I’d stay over for the night, she would always have the little tube of tooth paste and for some reason it was always 99% empty. I made a comment and said “why is this toothpaste always empty, it’s so hard to get out, why don’t you just buy the big tube so you don’t have to deal with this?” Well apparently this set her off and she yelled things like “well why don’t you buy me one” and “well I have bills to pay so why don’t you get over it” and “bring one yourself if it’s so annoying,” and then she proceeded to be annoyed for an hour and sit in a different room. In my opinion there was no need to blow up and start yelling and swearing. 

2. We usually hang out on the weekends (Saturday/Sunday). I had an event Sunday so I told her ON WEDNESDAY that I wouldn’t be able to hang out Sunday so we could hang out Friday instead. This annoyed her. I asked her how she could be annoyed if I’m telling her ahead of time and offering to see her a different day instead. Well apparently this was too last minute for her and she said that she was also annoyed because those are “our days” even if a plan came up. What does she want me to do? Never have a weekend event preventing me from seeing her?

3. I was at a party with my gf and one of my female friends from college was there and I talked to her for a little while. When the party was over my gf was mad bc she thought I was looking at my female friend too much. I said “I date you and she literally has a bf there’s nothing weird.” She was annoyed and wanted to go home afterwards rather than hang out.

All of these conflicts resolve themselves within a few hours but it’s just the annoyance of them that I hate dealing with. 

I later find out that she has depression and borderline personality disorder (BPD). I knew nothing about BPD before her but if you look up the way they think/act, it’s almost 100% her. 

She knows that she’s starts a lot of these problems and she started going to therapy for help but these stupid arguments still seem to occur. 

Is there any advice anyone could give or are there any things either of us could do to help the whole situation. There are no relationship problems besides these petty arguments. Thanks!