I have a large amount of debt and have just started in a new career in a job that I love (network engineering) but don't get paid as much as I need. I have a wife and 2 kids that I support as well.

Have suffered from depression and anxiety for years. I'm not sure what to do. Have thought about ending it all to make this awful feeling go away but i'm too scared to do it and don't want my family to be burdened with my debt.

I spend most days masking my feelings and trying to active positive but I just can't keep it up for much longer. I genuinely don't even know why I'm posting this or what I even expect to gain from posting this. 

I can't even remember what happy feels like anymore. I just can't take it anymore.