I have autism and ocd, courtesy of my mother opting to have sex with my father and not the mailman. There's absolutely nothing that I care about, I have no hobbies, no friends, no attachment to my family. All I do is wake up, eat and go back to bed occasionally open something to scroll on my phone. I have a constant flood of thoughts in my brain telling me what kind of person I am, sure occasionally I have moment of rest but the moment I realise and bring attention to the fact that I'm calm it comes back. I've tried separating myself from my thoughts, telling myself to shut up etc etc. I don't even play video games anymore, because what's the point when half my brainpower is used on worthless thoughts and you can't react fast enough or do something efficiently. If I'm not just miserable because of my lack of will to live I'm thinking about the fact that death might likely be the only cure.