I always sabotage my friendships/relationships and push people away that I care about. My anxiety and mental illness act up and it makes me behave inappropriately. It is really hard for me to control. Last night I ruined my relationship with the only person I have been talking to recently. I was drinking and called her and she became uncomfortable and we texted and she said we shouldn't talk anymore. Then I called her names and repeatedly tried calling her. The shittiest part is we had only been talking for a few days and i become attached easily. She was there for me and I fucked it up. I don't know how or why it is so easy for me to fuck good things up but this is most certainly a pattern in my life. When I think back on how many potentially amazing friendships I could have had if I was "different" it makes me sick. I have no one that I can talk to anymore and I am so lonely. How can I stop this behavior?