Hey guys,
I’m very comforted to find that there are subs like this on reddit, as someone who has been dealing with BPD for most of my life it’s really nice to see a community develop for advice.

Recently, my younger sister has come home from living in London for Uni and has since found out she has BPD too. I’ve offered her contacts within the medical community that I have used to try and get her some support, offered to take her to the GP and also given her some self help reading if she needs it. I’m not at all forcing her I just want to be helpful, I know it wasn’t easy for me to get help but I wanted to offer it because I had struggled to find it when I needed it.

My sister has flat out refused any of this help and instead just started smoking huge amounts of pot all day everyday (about four huge joints a day). She has been home for three months since uni and has just spent all of her time and money smoking. I asked her does she think she smokes too much and she said she is using it to help with BPD? (I used to smoke it too, but it made me feel worse and I often found I had more and more mood swings and anxiety?) and I am seeing her mood change rapidly and not in a good way.

This has all come to ahead today because of my dads birthday... All over the holidays I have been working full time to buy my dad a few things for his bday, I asked my sister what she was going to get him back on Christmas Eve when his first present I ordered arrived. She said she would get something ordered and make him a card. Fast forward to dads birthday morning, she has NOTHING. I had asked if she can wrap the present, if she’s needs a card, needs me to lend her money for a gift... I asked her over and over and then it all came out! She was crying because she didn’t have a card when she said she was making one hen night before, I asked no if she wanted me to go out and get her one quickly and then suddenly she runs downstairs and tells dad that she’s hasn’t got him a card... 

I’ve bought dads presents in; a nice bottle of burbon and a tech laptop accessory that he wanted. I’m just shocked, I am the only one who got him anything out of the two of us... 

I don’t know if I can keep enabling this and taking screaming matches in the kitchen from her because she doesn’t want/can’t help herself? Why has she got moneyand time for her drugs but not her family? 

This is making my BPD hard to deal with because I’m feeling lots of my emotions in all the extremes but mostly guilt and sadness and hatred toward her and myself... Icant help her I know that and I can’t even really help myself... 

I would really appreciate it if someone on here might be able to tell me what the right thing to do is because I can’t keep covering for her in not just family aspects but anywhere else either!

Sorry if long winded or irrelevant... Been going on for a while and I can’t deal right now...