So im postponing to start new work.
Im so scared. I was working in one company about a year and they suspended me cause i didnt want to do something which is against my will. So I moved back to my city took some break and want to go back to dancing/stripping job (which I was doing before)  but then I realised I'm kinda traumatised if i can call it this way and im terrified to go there. Honestly I dont know what happened. Through many years Ive been a stripper and changed clubs never had that problem. Ofc I was nervous but not to that point that I cant make decisions and Im completely paralysed. That corporation work gave me anxiety, panic attacks etc. I was working overtime, they were pushing me hard and I also was agreeing with that. Isnt that crazy, that working in stripclub was more healthu for me than office job?! 
Now I regret that bdcause im so devastated. I have no idea how im going to live if im so afraid to go work. Im. Just postponing telling myself next week, next week...