I feel so overwhelmed and alone with everything. I’m so tired of fighting for a life i don’t even want anymore. I don’t want to study, go to school, get a job and all that stuff, it sounds way too exhausting. I have a lot of people trying to help me, i have been hospitalised many times, but i’m not better. I wonder if i will ever get the motivation to try again. I’m painfully aware that i won’t get better unless i actually put in the work myself. That’s the thing i hate the most about being mentally ill, i didn’t choose to be this sick. At the moment i’m avoiding going to therapy because i don’t have the energy to get admitted to the psych ward again. I’m just waiting for the moment i do something really stupid and end up in the ER or something. I’m just so done with life.