I’m so mad I’m shaking. I really want to leave and go somewhere, anywhere.

My mom has been blowing up my phone about a number of family issues, criticizing my ability of being there for my 11 year old sister. My mom doesn’t work, has used my information to co-sign for an apartment, expects me to drop everything for her. I’m working my ass off to make ends meet all the while battling a horrible illness, having just clawed myself out of a two year a black hole of despair. I’m hanging on by a thread and begging her to go easy on me. She doesn’t. I told her I’d help her wrap presents, and offered to stay with her the 24th and 25th, even though it’s the last thing I want to do and it’s going to drain the fuck out of me. She’s mad I won’t come tonight, and says I’m being a bad sister.


I texted my older sister who always gets copouts for responsibility, even though she hasn’t tried to kill her self multiple times or has ever been hospitalized. I’m the one expected to hold my family together. I just spent my last dime on Christmas presents for my family, and am spending two days with them to keep the peace. I explained the situation and she ignored me and asked something completely off topic.  So she doesn’t care either.

With all of this going on, I have two coworkers who are openly furious with me for not donating $10.00 I don’t have towards a gift for our boss (who quite frankly sucks). I have $14.00 in my bank account. I already bought her my own personal gift, so I’m annoyed and frustrated. They have nothing better to do than gossip and give me dirty looks at their counter. One woman is in her late sixties and works “for fun” and her millionaire son takes care of her, another is a gorgeous late twenties chick with a husband who supports her, and a leg up on every opportunity for her beauty and pushiness that applies well in cosmetic retail- her husband also supports her financially. They act like it’s impossible to be a single, early twenties individual who has A LOT more going on in their life than a fucking gift for their boss.

I’m sure none of my friends will understand. I’m hanging by a thread and I want to go postal. I don’t want to go back to my apartment because my sister is there, I don’t want to go to my parents. I have nowhere to go and I want to scream or drive my car off a bridge.


TL; DR inconsiderate people can eat my ass. Some of us have so much shit going on we are drowning in it.