I go to a substance use iop and I have about 7 months sober but I was so close to relapsing this holiday weekend. When they asked me why I said it's because I feel so shitty and I have no motivation to do better. 

I always think about dying or about self harm but I have no intention to harm or kill myself. When I told them this they asked me if I have ever been to an inpatient mental health facility but they didn't say I needed to go or anything.

I've been feeling depressed for a minute and I started new meds a week ago but I feel like nothing will get better, and if it does get better, i will eventually just be sad again. 

I think about going to a mental health facility because I can maybe have a better chance at feeling less depressed there but I dont really want to go at the same time.