My SO has a tendency to ignore me. I know he doesn't do it on purpose. He has really bad ADHD and usually if he is doing something he won't hear a word I'm saying even if I'm right by him. The past few nights it's been getting to me really bad. Even though I know he loves and appreciates me, I feel absolutely embarrassed when he ignores me so much. Last night I would talk and every time he did it I would even go on to say "it's okay don't listen to me". And he wouldn't hear it/respond to it.
My best friend is over today and they are playing a video game and he is ignoring me again. I even made him food and he didn't say thank you as he usually does. I feel as if he is bored of me. I wish I could be shiny &amp; new to him again. I know that this is only the beginning of a downward slope and I want to leave despite how well him &amp; I work. It's all my BPD and it's all annoying. I can think rational but my BPD adds "what ifs" and negative thoughts to the end of each rational thought process. I want to be able to be happy but this won't let me. I know I will just go on to do more damage as I already am. 
It's so fucked up because I know if he read this he would be so hurt and apologize in tears. He's so sensitive about how I feel and I love him for everything he is. He has bipolar disorder and is completely understanding over every aspect of my mental illness. But I can't help but feel I don't belong to here. 