Hello all,

Going to keep this simple and short (it probably won't be) as a lots happened and I want to get down to the main reason why I'm posting here.

My fiance of 2.5 years with BPD recently started going into crisis, she tried to manage it in our house with me, however she was spiralling and her behaviour started to get dangerous for herself. The morning after an incident involving a drink driving attempt I asked for a chat and after I came back from my run, my partner had left an "I'm sorry" note along with her engagement ring. We text briefly, she said that she can't get well in that house at the moment, she needs to get better to understand if this is the decision she wants and if she feels better with this decision. Then I go no contact as she just wants to be left alone.

It's now been almost 2 weeks since I last saw her. Now to put this into perspective, we live around 10 doors up from her parents where she is staying currently. She hardly took anything with her, almost all her belongings are still in our house. Her cats which throughout her life have been her therapy animals (honestly she loves these cats) are still here and I'm looking after them.

Her best friend on the day it happened told me that she has messaged them in the morning that we'd broken up. However my partner hasn't said those words to me, hasn't talked about our relationship for this whole time. She's contacted me twice asking for things. The first time I'll admit I did bombard her with questions in a loving way but it was too much and she reemphasized that she just wanted to be alone and do things without permission or having chats with anyone (me). 

More recently on the 28th July I sent her well constructed message after not contacting for around 7 days detailing how I'm still here and my feelings haven't changed towards her, asking her for a date and time for a chat, all in her control, and also saying that I just want to listen to how she's feeling. She said that she can't promise she'll read it straight away as she was in work but she accepted the message which was good. But no reply as of yet just letting her sit with that.

I'm just confused. She's (in my opinion) left the relationship impulsively, but even after almost two weeks is taking absolutely no responsibility to come and talk, no desire to move out, no desire to get more stuff. I just don't get where her heads at and would like some possible insight.

Another thing of note is that her work iPad and a letter from the mental health team came here on Sunday just gone. I did a short a sweet message saying they were here. She replied saying she'd be along to pick them up and never showed and hasn't shown interest in coming to get them.

I understand that for her the breakup and the feelings around what she did impulsive or not are very real. But that's all it seems to be right now, it all seems to be in her world and like the relationship and what happened isn't there right now. 

Does this mean she may come back? Should I just give her more space and time? Just extremely confusing. I just want to try and understand her behaviour more. A lot of people say this could be emotional games etc but I really don't want to believe that. Everyone with BPD is different from the nature of even how it's diagnosed. If someone could shed some light on this behaviour that would be great.

Thank you in advance for your comments and support!