I gained so much weight while actively going to the gym and not muscle… I’ve been binge eating and I’m so depressed to the point I hate even coming to the gym. I feel forced to go to just to accompany my friend. They try pushing me to come to the gym daily but I’m so extremely depressed when I come to the gym I get motivation for a second then I see myself in the mirror and I am hit with intense sadness and self anger. 

I don’t think I’m mentally fit to workout. It’s not helping me. It’s supposedly supposed to help you be less depressed but I am even more depressed than I was before. Looking at all the fit and skinny girls doesn’t help either. I wish I was them, I wish my self esteem was better, I wish I had self control, I wish I was strong, I wish I had motivation, I wish I wasn’t me.