Seeing things, feeling things and hearing things that aren’t actually there. That aren’t real. That aren’t in me. But they are there, they are real and they are in me. Thought I was getting better, I want to be better. I don’t think I’ll ever be better. Will this paranoia ever end? Will these delusions stop? Will I be stuck in this miserable cycle forever? Will this void in me ever be filled? Because fuck, it hurts. It’s overwhelming and I can’t take it. I don’t want to be described as “the BPD girl” - I want to be me, I fucking want to be me?? Will there ever be a day where I am satisfied with who I am, how I am like, how I behave and what I am? But ya know; I’m alive, I guess?