I’m so fucking sad, likely depression.

I got married young, things were good at first, slowly I started losing everything I previously had due to her. Couldn’t hang out with friends and even hanging out with my brother was like pulling teeth to get out of the house.  He’s since died, so no backsies on that.

Fast forward we have two younger children.  We live together but are effectively separated. I’m literally the only one working while she stays home with the kids but is completely a one way street.  She wants takeout, I go get her the food.  She has a doctors appointment..  Who has to take time off work to drive her there..  me.

Literally if I didn’t have kids I’d just cut my losses, tell her to fuck off and go my separate way. Because of this kids I feel I have to continue on this one way street of misery until she has a proper exit plan and take my kids from me. It kills me to think of that day as I can’t live without them. They’re my fucking world, which is difficult because I ultimately want to simply exit this world. I don’t know what to do..  I can’t even enjoy my time with them because I’m so depressed. I don’t want help, because there is nothing that is going to fix this.

I don’t even know why I’m writing this. Maybe to just get it off my chest. I wish there was something that could be done beside the obvious.