How the hell are you supposed to climb out of this hole? As if depression wasn’t bad enough already, I don’t care about anything badly enough to even try to dig myself out. The whole problem is that I don’t have a sense of self-direction, certainly not a positive one. So without relying on a relationship or parent, how am I supposed to start caring and trying? 

Therapy just isn’t enough. Once a week is great and all but then I go home and I just stop caring or convince myself it doesn’t matter because I’m destined to kill myself. I’m fundamentally broken and cannot be repaired, I don’t want to be a burden to anyone else anymore.