I am almost 60 and my fifty’s have opened up how actually terrible my childhood was CSA. Thought i was ok till they all died.   Niagara Falls. Anyways i am narcissistic also on top of a whole bunch of other disorders and i am so tired. I have been trying to educate myself on all the disorders/chronic health problems and i have two great understanding ish adult kids that I have always wanted them to be proud of me. Am I being unrealistic? Shame and guilt eats at me daily. Any suggestions?