Everyone I know actually wants to be alive. They all do things because they want to. I can’t relate to that. There isn’t anything I really want to accomplish. Others my age are working and going to school because they want to. They are planning their futures and have goals. Meanwhile I have not a clue what my future will look like. I go to school because I feel like I have to. I workout and watch what I eat because I think that I have to look good to matter. I look for work because everyone else my age works. I feel like I have to be interested in hooking up because everyone else is and I haven’t even been on a date yet. I don’t even believe in love because I’ll never have it. Everything I do feels like I do it because I have to or it’s expected of me. I don’t enjoy most of the things I should. I’m not interested in most things I should be at 22 like meeting people, going out all the time, traveling and so on. I feel like an imposter. I feel behind everyone else. I just drag my feet along in life but I don’t really want to be here. My life is so boring. All I do is deal with social anxiety and trauma from being abused and bullied as a kid/teen. I am so alone. Have no friends and I feel like I should because it’s not normal to have no social life. I am stuck and suffering everyday but I feel like I can’t because I’m not sick, I’m not poor and so on.