I love my sister and want her to live a happier life, and be able to use her compassion to make a positive difference in the world (which I know she is capable of), but right now I have no idea how to help. My sister has always been anxious, and got diagnosed with GAD when she was in elementary school. She’s also been suffering from depression since high school, and discovered that she has ADHD in high school. She attended college for almost 4 years but after failing/dropping a couple classes along the way, it became too overwhelming and she dropped out spring of her 4th year. I think she has about 1 (very) full semester of classes left to take, or maybe 2 semesters of a lighter load. 

I went to live with a friend out of state during her junior year of high school (I’m a few years older) and moved back home a few months ago, right before she dropped out of college. I’ve visited home plenty of times over the years but didn’t realize how much she’s changed until being around her all the time. She’s become very depressed about basically everything, and it’s difficult for her to manage doing “normal” things. For the first couple months I was home, she refused to see friends because she just couldn’t handle it. Fortunately, one of her best friends continually showed up and eventually she agreed to come out to say hi and has been hanging out with her friend weekly since.

She cannot mentally handle having a job right now (or at least, applying and interviewing; I think she would do great in position but she is her own biggest enemy here). She is a vegan which eliminates basically any grocery or restaurant options, and refuses to do retail because she doesn’t want to be forced to smile like an idiot all day. I try to encourage her to just get out and get some experience because she may not enjoy everything but she won’t know until she tries, but she finds some reason why each type of job is a bad idea. 

She watches/reads the news for hours every day and is fixated on the people who upset her, like the billionaire CEOs who could easily wipe out hunger in the entire country. She is also incredibly upset that our family still continues to eat meat/animal products because of the ethics both of killing them for food and because of their living conditions. I understand that completely, but it would be basically impossible for our whole family to afford to be vegan and to eat; my whole family are semi picky eaters (and I’m the only one who will eat vegetables), and there was awhile where she wasn’t eating enough because she refuses to eat anything with palm oil (which is in almost everything) due to the gorilla habitats being destroyed for it. She has been baking more vegan food and likes when my mom and I eat her food (which is delicious!), so I know that’s been slightly encouraging but because we aren’t fully vegan, it’s not enough. 

We’ve tried to help by getting her to do small things like leave the house more, focus on hobbies, hang out as a family, etc. Some days she seems better and will spend most of the day out in the living room with us, has been practicing her piano more lately, etc. But the next day she is crying about the state of the world, which I know she wants to help so badly but is paralyzed in a state of feeling like no one will listen to anything she has to say but at the same time, I think she almost feels that if she thinks hard enough about something and finds out every piece of information, that will somehow help. But when it comes to action, she seems incapable and will make any excuse. They seem genuine, like she is just simply mentally incapable at this time and it is heartbreaking that her giant heart is causing her incredible pain. 

My mom and I don’t think she would actually do anything about it because she is terrified of death (if we were ever uncertain, we would take her to the ER) but she makes references basically wishing she was dead because the world is too depressing. And she goes to the psychiatrist occasionally for med checks but I don’t think she’s very open or tells the truth, and absolutely refuses to see a therapist because talking about these things only serves to make her upset. We just want to help her and have tried everything we can think of: we’ve been supportive and loving, and have tried a little bit of tough love but are worried that real “tough love” would be too hard for her to handle right now. We just don’t know what to do and I would love ANY advice!