I really hate going to sleep at night upset or angry and it just seems to be all I’ve had for the past few weeks. But today was different. I got dressed nice for school, I was able to deal with an unplanned errand this morning without freaking out or panicking, and I felt good about myself.  Classes went well and nothing terribly wrong occurred. I even got excited talking to my boyfriend about future plans for the weekend and I was looking forward to seeing him since he’s gone during the week. 

And then I got an email about a possible internship for the summer. Great! Just what I had been looking for and it would be an awesome opportunity. But just as soon as that excitement came, I started doubting myself and telling myself I’d never get the job. I’m not smart enough, don’t have the experience, not capable of moving away on my own. It spiraled into anxiety about finishing school and being employed at all. And now I’m full of self-hate and disgust when I look at myself cause all I see is a piece of shit who no one would want to hire in the first place.