I know most people self-harm to "make the pain go away" or give themselves something else to focus on, but it's not like that for me. For some reason, when I SH, it's to hurt myself really badly and mutilate my arms because somehow knowing *I* did this to myself brings me so much relief. It's almost sadistic in a sense.

Does anyone else feel the same way? Because I've looked it up but I haven't been able to find someone who thinks similarly.