The learning curve of a new job is always months of intense self doubt and unrelenting negative thoughts that I'm an idiot, I'm letting my coworkers down, not learning fast enough, etc. I'm willing to stay at jobs I don't necessarily like until I'm burnt out and have to quit.

Given enough time I do eventually get to a place at jobs where I'm actually pretty good, but getting there is just pain. It's kind of ironic too that this anxiety resets if I get a promotion. I'm scared of accepting promotions and title changes because its more responsibility and I have to learn more stuff and inevitably start failing again while I acclimate to the new tasks

I guess the underlying crux of this is I'm afraid of failure? Idk, that plus intense rejection sensitivity. I hate being disliked or for people to think I'm dumb. 

Anyone can relate?