I feel like I should stop talking to my friends because they don't know my past. I keep punishing myself for my past misdeeds and I don't want to deceive them and trick them into thinking I'm a good person because I'm not. I know 100% that many would hate me if they knew how much of a horrible person I used to be and sometimes I feel like I'm not being honest with them and don't deserve to move on. Only one friend knows my story but they don't know all of it so I still feel like I am lying to them. Whenever they're being nice to me I feel even worse because I'm convinced I'm unworthy because unlike them I am truly awful.