I got fired from my job today. I been absent quite a lot due to my depression, it would be so bad that i would have constant mental breakdowns even at work. Work however has a attendance policy that does not care about the reason and I was given my final notice today. They even viewed my breakdowns as a nuisance to the workplace and distraction to coworkers. As a result i had a mental breakdown phone call to my mother in the bathroom at work, i guess it got quite loud as I couldnt control my emotions and I started cursing and the boss knocked on the stall door and said it was time to go. I have had depression since a kid i think but formally diagnosed since 2015. I have been suicidal for a long time, I have tried to kill myself in the past but as soon as I tried I immediately regretted it but even now I still envision it. I feel broken, sad and lost. I feel no hope for the future, apathetic towards most things, I just wish I could be happy. I’ve tried different meds to no avail and therapists and councilors all to break trust. I feel so alone. I find solice in a bottle. Just figured to post this to vent