i feel like i've been given everything to become the best I can but I feel dumber by the day. I wish to have a good job in the future in the IT industry whether that be software or engineering. I've done great this year of school in those fields, even went to olympiads and nearly got third place in my town at c++, of which I'm really proud since I had started learning the language that summer, but right after  I got incredibly bad at coding. I don't know why, I couldn't write the simplest code, I didn't want to disappoint others so I kept it to myself and gave it my all to get a respectable at the semester finals. I managed to get over it thinking to myself that I'd get it all figured out in the summer, ill improve myself at coding, engineering so I can be useful at the robotics team I'm part of, that I'll socialize better and make friends with the ones in my class to which I barely spoke to. But here I am at the very end of it and I feel like I've achieved nothing, I was determined enough to reject my friends just to be able to exercise more, I've saved a lot of money and decided to put a good sum into myself, I love engineering so I got myself some stuff to keep me entertained all year. But despite all my efforts I'm still shit at coding, half of the stuff I've bought either don't work at all or the way I wanted so I've got nothing to do. This way I've spent months searching for solutions to small problems that postponed my projects, which caused me to constantly jump from a project to another every couple of days. but I think I've hit rock bottom, I've lost all motivation to do anything, I watch youtube all day and play video games, I ruined my sleep schedule on which I worked so hard to maintain alongside my workout routine and I'm still just as socially awkward. My parents work really hard and I don't to talk directly to them, I try to but they either don't say anything or avoid the conversation.