After my FP shut me out insisting i go to therapy, I finally listened, I went to therapy, and sat mostly silent, I answered my therapist's questions, and here I am. I came to the personal conclusion that I may have BPD shortly before starting therapy, and the relationship between me and what I now realize is my second ever fp really solidified the idea with me. I avoided the subject with my therapist, but low and behold, a few sessions, a YSQ-L3 test later, and here I am. She's seemingly avoiding telling me "its BPD", but her description of me being "a highly sensitive person", combined with spending the last session discussing biosocial theory, really solidifies in my mind that its BPD and shes just avoiding giving me the diagnosis. Idk what's next, I broke down last night and texted my fp, it's been 8 weeks since I've spoken to him and not a moment went by that he wasn't on my mind, after a year of being in love with him, being led on, then cut off completely, it's hard to move on, he's still not answering my texts, but I did tell him I saw a therapist like he wanted me to, I explained myself to him, and hopefully, with some time to process, maybe he'll come back? Idk if that's really what's best for me or not, but this has been so much to deal with, and finally having something of a diagnosis gives me a little more peace that hopefully I can slowly get him back and maybe even make a friend or two?