I've been dealing with depression for ten years now and I think this is the worst year I've had in my life. And... I know why that is.

I haven't been working out lately. And... I know that's bad. Exercising saved my life, as stupid as that sounds. So I should go back to the gym because it's always helped me.

I've been getting out of bed at 4PM every day since the beginning of May. I wake up at 9AM or so, but it's like there's something that stops me from getting up. So I just lay there.

I haven't been talking to my significant other lately, and they've always been so, so helpful to me. We've known each other for so long and they're probably the only person who truly understands me. But I feel like I'm just going to hurt them more than I already am if I talk to them. So I just... leave them on read. Ignore their calls. And it's horrible.

The solutions to all of these problems are... obvious, really. "Get out of bed! Work out! Go talk to your SO, they love you!"

But I can't. Like. I just... can't help myself. I can't fix my problems even though I know _how_ I should fix them. And it makes me feel like shit.

I can't even talk to my therapist anymore. Not because something happened which made me feel uncomfortable about talking to her or whatever, but I just... feel guilty. Like I shouldn't be talking to someone about my problems. BUT IT'S HER JOB! She's a trained professional whose job entails listening to and helping people like me.

This is stupid. I feel stupid.