Best adhd/ptsd/anxiety with severe panic attack combos to consult with my doc about?


Back story is long….

Help! 

I’m not asking for medical advice but, those who have severe anxiety/ptsd along with ADHD. What do you do to ease the pain and mental Fuckery? I’m at my end. I really am. I’m so frustrated daily and feel so “overlooked” and judged. I’ve never ever had a harder time in my life going through a murder trial and trying to “be normal” and find my new normal and go on with life. I do therapy. Meds aren’t a fix all I know this. I feel no one understands. I can’t keep going on like this. It’s miserable!!!!!!My pshyc left my practice and I see someone new tomorrow. Im just flat out not okay. I lost all “umph” I had as far as motivation and I can NOT control my anxiety to save my life. I think given the situation not many can. I’m getting to the point of mental breakdown (I think I was there yesterday) with my meds not working. I have a lot of “heavy” in my life. I’m “the strong one” of the family but, I’m dwindling. I’m going through that and right after the murder found out  my husbands cheated for years and I am so defeated. I’m so angry. Hurt. Sad. Not my happy go lucky self. I’m beaten to a pulp. I’d never hurt myself or anyone else but sometimes I think god I wish I didn’t wake up or please someone just knock me off the road. I’m to selfless to hurt my family or inflict pain and o keep thinking that it’ll get better it has to. There’s no way it will get worse right? Idk. I’m so hurt and down and dead inside. My stability and entire family got taken from me. 

I know tomorrow they’re going to ask me what I think will work and if I say a benzo because, anything I have under it doesn’t stop or take edges off. It’s severe. 

I can’t rely on benzos obviously and I need a med combo to help daily. Anyone have severe panic attacks and depression? What has worked for you to go foward. I’m really struggling and tired of crying everyday or having a trigger and freaking out! 

Last week I finally saw the man that took my father figures life. It has royally fucked with me to no avail. His viewing did too. It haunts me months later. Sleep sucks. The heartbreak is unbearable. The circumstances are so senseless. Prior to this I have had flash backs of that day constantly to the point it’s messing with my entire life. My pshyc didn’t care. It’s always “next time we will review” bs.I don’t know how to keep living with such anxiety and ptsd and panic attacks. They’ve never been THIS BAD! 

It’s not my adderall they blame it on. That has saved my life as far as adhd. Right before this I got it all together and was doing great after my moms sudden death and my dads suicide. I was healing, on track, on time, and organized.  and this happened. I’m all over the place but my adhd meds help my grief brain and adhd tremendously as much as it can  and I was doing amazing on it prior to this nightmare in The beginning of 2021. I lost my other two parent figures this year 90 days apart and in very tragic ways. I don’t know what to ask pshyc anymore because I get the “that’s life” and feel like I’m crazy knowing deep down it’s a hard time that will pass. Urgent care treated me like a junkie yesterday and my doctor and pshyc  has no one on call on weekends and this weekend has been the worst so far. I’m hanging on a string here. 

I see the pshyc in the morning. I just want something to help while I go through this trial and trauma therapy on top of therapy. I don’t even know how to go back to work. The stress is unreal. My thoughts are too.