I'm 31 years old and I've been depressed since 17. Zoloft was a miracle drug for me at in my early 20s and then it stopped working. I've tried everything imaginable to beat this thing but nothing works. Healthy diet, medicine, exercise, etc etc. I'm no longer the vivacious guy I once was. People knew me as the life of the party, funny and charismatic and now all of those traits are gone. I just feel like a shell of my former self and am completely apathetic to life. I struggle with self-esteem issues, motivation and have no passion for anything anymore. I just want to lay in bed all day and do nothing. I'm the king of self sabatoge. Nobody even knows this about me, but in reality I hate myself and want to die. I don't see a future and not sure how to fix this crippling depression.