I didn't get my needs met by my parents growing up, so I now crave validation, compliments and love from other people. I didn't have my parents tell me my emotions are valid, I didn't have them say "I love you," I didn't have them say, "I'm proud of you." 

I saw a video of a father telling his 7-year-old daughter that he loves her, her emotions are valid and that he loves her very much. It almost made me cry, because why couldn't I have had parents like that? Instead, I get parents that did the bare minimum/standard (keeping a roof over my head and feeding me), invalidating me most of my life, gaslighting me often and I live with an autistic sister who makes me feel like shit every day. I have to walk on eggshells around her constantly and she always rolls her eyes and tuts under her breath when I'm just being friendly to her and asking her if she's okay. 

I get it. My parents, especially my mum, had an awful childhood. They have their own issues to deal with, but they refuse to accept that they have issues and apparently, it's just me that is crazy and I'm the one that gave myself BPD. 

I hate that I've developed destructive and toxic traits because of my family and I hate that I need therapy to become healthy because of people that thought nothing was wrong with them and didn't need therapy. 

I'm angry and I feel resentment. I could have been a healthy individual if I weren't with my family growing up.


Could somebody tell me that it's not my fault why I developed BPD like my parents say it is?