I had a full blown meltdown a few hours ago. I am back home visiting family for the first time in a year and started getting myself worked up yesterday recalling memories. 

Several things triggered me and I lost it. By the time I saw my mum, dad and brother I had such strong feelings of resentment towards them what ever they did would have set me off. 

I locked myself in my room and cried and cried, I have made my dad change his plans because he feels guilty about what hes doing, my mum has cancelled her plans and my brother feels rejected. 

I hate feeling such uncontrollable raw emotion. Its not fair on my family when I'm like this but I can't control it. I treat the people that love me the most like shit. What is wrong with me?? 

Im feeling exhausted and exposed and I just wish I was normal