My world view was already crafted by this fear unconsciously over years but the conscious part of the fear upgraded in intensity in recent days. 

My subconscious is on edge when meeting people and only thinks about "how might they hurt me in the future? If I give away this information or get vulnerable about my mental health, how could that come back to bite my ass?" They're adding to the pool of people I need to be hypervigilant, manage risks and review what happened to find any weaknesses they can use against me.

Examples include my ex knowing about my issues with bpd and my terrible pathetic low points that could easily spun into negative view of me, ex-friends that know extremely unflattering things about me, etc. I think they're holding ticking time bomb ammunition they may use against me if I don't keep to myself and my job is to remove that ammunition at all costs.