I suffer from multiple hereditary diseases. I'm due for surgery next week and I have a whole bunch of bills coming up. I'm going through all my insurance policies and it's doing my head in. I just wish I don't have this broken body. I'm getting fat from the meds but without them I'm not functional at all. I hate looking at myself in the mirror and I hate being in pain all the time. Why is it so difficult just so stay alive? I should've tried harder in giving up the first time around. I don't know how to keep going on. I feel like my body has failed me.