I honestly wish anxiety didn't rule my life. Anxiety in a sense doesn't allow me to go outside by myself cause I guess I don't see myself worthy of heading out and enjoying it? I really don't know but unless I'm meeting up with someone or going to school/work, I just stay home even though I'd like to go outside and enjoy new things. Just the thought of me going outside alone gets my heart racing. It all makes no sense. Even now I'm getting anxious posting this. Fuck.