
 fell in love with a woman who was when ive known her incredible,                     
we were just great friends with benefits and i started to wanting a relationship.
Things didnt work out and i got slowly back into a delusion that got this way shortly after i got diagnosed as a schizophrenic,
(That was being betrayed by a loved one by my ex 4 years ago.)
She wanted to be friends again five months later and i still felt alot but was also afraid she will destroy the way my ex did when having contact with her.
Sadly i was not ready and probaly wont ever be
and she wont be ready with what i intially wanted.
A month after while i traveled with a friend she contacted me again but deleted the messages and send a meme minutes before i saw somebody like her talking to me for a few words and hours later i made myself by overthinking go on an episode so bad i had to travel home and it took 5 hours more standing at trainstations then it shouldve while
I responded to her messages like a maniac and felt like completely lost in my head and how to get home.
Enough backstory.
the best song i ever made was about the situation and her and i told her that and now im not really in the condition to have it listenable to anybody bc it makes so paranoid me that it could be used against me even tho iam prolly the only one hurting me  with all thst shit.