Again

It's happening again

All the doubt, this pain in my stomach this pain in my chest

I feel like she's met someone else

She tells me she's waking up at 4 am, she hides her online status on Whatsapp she tells me she wants to spend more time at work and with her kids so we won't be texting that much

And I feel it

It hits me like a dumptruck

"She's met someone else"

"She's gonna leave me"

"She's cheating and doesn't love me anymore"

Why?

Why do I keep tormenting myself with these thoughts? Why can't I just accept that she indeed wants to do these things because they're her responsibility? 

Why do I feel the urge to run away?

I'm having a very, very bad episode again, it's eating me up from the inside

I want to tell myself it's all in my head but I can't, I believe this from the bottom of my heart I FEEL like it's the truth

It won't change, will it? No matter how many new relationships I have it'll all come to this.... Leave before you get hurt, she only wants to hurt you, she's lying and she's going to hurt you...