 

My name is Victor. I have had this thing since I was 12-13, sometimes I have periods of time where I lose many of my emotions. Emotions such as fear, disgust, stress, anxiety, empathy, guilt, mostly everything that isn't anger or happiness.

From the beginning preschool all the way to 5th grade, I was the victim of quite severe bullying. The bullies would piss in my face, force snowballs with rock and salt into my eyes and of course beat me until I bled they did this at recess or after school every singe day. This accompanied with having no friends made my school feel like hell. However, my home life wasn't much better. Whenever my parents would hear me crying myself to sleep and walk into my room telling me to shut up and that I should stop feeling sorry for myself. My father was also almost always away and when I overheard my mother telling him she did not honestly love me, my home felt like hell too. This left me being depressed and suicidal for most of my childhood, I attempted suicide twice at the age of 11.

About a year after the abuse stopped, the emotionless periods where I only really felt happiness or anger started to occur. These periods of time would last from anywhere between a few hours to weeks. I guess, I just wanted to know if anybody has gone through something similar and whether anybody has been through the same emotionless periods as me. I just feel so alone sometimes.