Hi, this is an alt account, because my bf also has reddit and I don't want him to see this, But I'm freaking out.
So mayne first some background info; I'm a 23f, my bf is a 27m. We've know each other for about 4-5y and we've been together for almost 2. I'm not that mentally stable (had a rough time at university , especially during lockdowns and remote classes). So after a lot of thinking I quit my second bachelor and wanted to start working. I found work pretty fast, and they are happy with me so that's a big relief. Only thing is that it's pretty far, we don't own a car atm so I have to do everything with public transport, which takes me 2h to get there and 2h to get home. So 5days a week I'm more than 12h gone.
But my bf works pretty close to home, like a 5min walk. And when I come home he has already been home for 4h. But nothing is done. He hasn't cooked, cleaned a bit, did some grocery shopping... Just nothing, he's just gaming.
Then I still have to do everything by myself while my bf is just standing there watching me. Honestly I don't mind doing chores, but I do mind that I have to do everything by myself. I have to clean my own mess, but also his. Cook for both of us, go grocery shopping for both of us... It's so tiring.
But now the thing is, I did multiple pregnancy tests at home, spread out over 1month and they were all positive. I've already made an appointment with the gynaecologist, but it's only next week :/
I'm freaking out, I've only worked there for 3weeks, I have to do everything by myself, we don't swim in money atm. So how am I ever going to do this??
How can I make clear that I cannot do this by myself. I love him with all my heart, but it's so tiring. I only sleep 3-4h a night, I'm exhausted. We've been fighting a lot about it and it doesn't help. I don't know what to do anymore. I haven't told him yet, because he wanted to wait a couple more years (me too tho), but I don't know how to tell him.


TL;DR How can I have a baby while I have to take care of everything by myself. How can I make sure I can mentally handle it. How can I make my bf help me more with things