I’ve been managing my BP 1 for over 15 years. I was diagnosed in my late teens and I’m in my mid-30s. I know myself very well, I’m on the right meds, I go to therapy, I work my treatment plan. I know that I’ll usually hit at least depression episode between October and March….the duration of which can vary. The meds keep it from totally wrecking my life. Then in the late summer until late September, I’ll typically experience a more elevated mood on and off. Right now, I’m struggling because I am starting to experience some depressive symptoms but I cannot use one of the best tools in my toolbox which is to ask for support and connection from my husband and/or best friend. Sometimes all I need is a bear hug and someone to just sit with me while I ride out the waves of sadness after a hard day. My husband and I now work opposing shifts, I only see him Friday-Sunday. My best friend moved away. These things only make me even sadder on days where work was really stressful and I felt like I could have done a better job that day. Coming home now is so lonely. I just want to feel better. This was just me trying to talk out loud about the struggle right now…an attempt at maybe not feeling so lonely.