I started out as just rapid cycling bipolar, with all the crazy highs and lows, but last couple years, I've fully dissociated from myself. The only time I feel within myself is when I look in the mirror. I can't think most of the time, I can't remember what happened 5 minutes ago, when I'm sleep deprived/emotionally distressed, I will have insanely angry/violent thoughts. What I want to do in life changes all the time, how I feel about people changes all the time. It feels like my whole personality shifts from sometimes solid, nice guy to straight up angry ass rager. Recently when I was in that angry, rage headspace, I had like a billion angry thoughts, hit send on a couple angry texts, and now lost a great best friend to stupid shit. I think it's comorbidity, finding a new psych to work with, it feels like I have bipolar and something with personality shifts/dissociation. Could just be severe bipolar, but I've been bipolar for like 10 years and it wasn't like this before. Just wanted to rant. Thanks for reading, would appreciate any support/conversation. Thanks!