I've tried everything and I just keep coming back to these thoughts. All I can do these days is wait around get high or watch tv. honestly, the weed has worked well for me so far but my whole family would never understand. I'm so different from my family and they can never understand that. Everyday ill wake up and never know if Im gonna do it that day. And before you tell me i will never go back to hospitalization or do that dumb hotline shit. I know better and you do too.