[Eyedea &amp; Abilities - Paradise](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ep6umYu-Dqw)

This was one of my favorite Eyedea songs for a while, and I always described it to people as "Oh it's about how abusive relationships share parallels with drug addiction." Then I went a couple months without listening to it and I came back to it tonight, and I don't know how I never got how much it reflects my behavior in relationships. This is the first verse:

        What a beautiful world, so fragile and fertile
        
        Pain filled the void, when boy met girl
        
        He's a puppet to nature, one year later now
        
        So deeply and sickly in love, it makes him hate her
        
        The average romanticized american relationship sinks
        
        Capsized when either side becomes a slave to it
        
        Conditioned, dependent, afraid to be alone
        
        He needs that feeling that he can't create all on his own
        
        He despises the fact she has a life outside of them
        
        It drives him crazy to think she's not insanely consumed with him
        
        Give her the guilt trip
        
        And maybe she'll quit living to stay behind his prison walls
        
        And lose all individualism
        
        Well this is happiness, masochistic torture, plagued by the 
        decadent, craved for affection
        
        The needle digs deep to push contentment through his 
        bloodstream
        
        It drowned out -- hollow
        
        The pothole of a junkie
        
        If he could only hear her sing he wouldn't wanna break her wings
        
        But emptiness has such a warm subtle sting
        
        She makes up for what he lacks - trapped
        
        He can't imagine life without someone like that
        
Every happy relationship I stay in long enough inevitably turns into this. I feel like such an idiot for listening to this song for years without realizing it was describing *me.* can anyone else relate to the lyrics? how shitty am i for relating to this so heavily? 

Also:

This song is super on-the-nose, may not be for everyone, but I feel like this has to be some kind of BPD song about splitting and cutting ties with people. 

[Ramshackle Glory - More About Alcoholism](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6rp8-MlW1g)

[Alternate acoustic version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9B0SSeaS50)

    This car is a war machine that runs on nicotine and gasoline
    
    D-d-d-don't you fucking know this is the wrong side of the road? 
    
    Who needs brakes when it's all down-hill from here? 
    
    And if we ain't died yet then maybe we never will
    
    But I don't wanna burn out, so won't you please set me on fire again? 
    
    I woke up afraid of losing everything; thank god that I already have
    
    So if you love me then listen: mind your own fucking business! 
    
    If you love me enough to stay, then please love me.. enough to stay away
    
    I swear on my last cigarette that I'd love you my d-d-darling
    
    I'd love you if I could
    
    but since the day I was born 
    
    It's been too late for me to be anything but what I am tonight 
    
    And what I am is drunk and what I am is mean in your passenger seat 
    
    Seat belts are for people who have time to die; hell, I don't even have time to sleep
    
    Because I don't wanna miss a moment of loathing everything that I see 
    
    I stay up nights afraid of everything, 'til all that's left is the shadows and me 
    
    Ask me from sunrise to sunset: "no, I ain't left the house yet"
    
    I finally love you enough to stay... enough to stay away
    
    Aw shit, I wish I had a job to quit
    
    I wish I had a boss that I could tell to fuck off
    
    Give me the satisfaction of a dramatic exit
    
    And not just a long car ride and a short goodbye in a parking lot
    
Especially the last part really resonates with me. Sometimes people cut ties with *me* in a super mature and reasonable way, and I'm like... Where are all the fireworks? Like when were you gonna let me say I hate you and I want to die?