Ok so I’ve been feeling like I’m not disgusting recently. Which lead me to downloading some dating apps, which was like validation central. I met this cool guy and had really nice sex with him, but he literally ghosted me after. He promised me he wouldn’t just “hit it and quit it”. Hit me right in my fear of abandonment. I spiraled into intenseee depression. Like ugh I felt like walking toxic energy. I went full personality disorder and started talking to multiple guys and now I’m going to have sex later today and again in 2 days with a completely different guy. I don’t even like sex like that, I mean it feels good but I have a pretty low libido. It’s just like I need the connection and validation. I feel like a slut and a whore, not the good kind. Not the sexually empowered woman, but the one who has no self worth. Ughhhhhh I feel like shit but these men make me feel so good. But they only want one thing. 