My girlfriend of 2 and a half years broke up with me last week, due to me asking for space. She went off the rails completely even though I just needed a day or two of breathing space as we were fighting a lot, nothing that wasn’t normal relationship stuff though.

The cycle has happened 4 times now. It starts when she breaks up with me, normally when I’m with friends or having a good time without her. She ALWAYS breaks up with me over text and at the most random times, it could be the middle of the night or 6 o’clock in the morning. There is no pattern except she’s out with her friend who always seems to convince her the single life is better. She then goes out drinking every night for about two weeks straight, getting with people, downloading tinder, doing very dangerous things like getting in a car with a drunk driver, threatening to harm herself and suicidal thoughts. She also starts smoking. Drinking is the biggest issue though, she gets black out every time and every night. She also has a very poor self esteem issue, and thinks she’s fat (despite her being so skinny) and has spent thousands on weight loss programmes that are taking advantage of her because she doesn’t need to lose weight. 

I went to see her yesterday and she was a mess. She was not herself at all. Extremely hungover, despite the fact we had agreed days ago we were going to talk then and she can tell me where her heads at. She started confessing to kissing people and being so upset about it, (she even said it makes her want to harm herself.) she also casually said she reached out to her ex to be friends. She said she feels numb and can’t explain why she does this. She even asked her toxic friend who was there to explain to me how she feels cos she can’t get it out. No doubt in my mind she will be back, she always does. It’s like every now and again she’s off the walls. But I want to help her when she does as a friend.

How do I do this?

Also sorry if this isn’t BPD or if it triggers anyone. I just want to know how to help her.