TL;DR: Terrified I've damaged my ear by putting water in it (with added pressure).

There's no blood, but there is muffled hearing. I'm so terrified of being told that I've damaged my ear permanently.

Hi, so I live a very stressful life (don't we all) and part of relieving my stress was, when showering, putting water in my ears (via the small handheld shower head jet). This always felt like some sort of comfort/stress reliever while I was doing it - usually to both ears. The small shower head had a lot of pressure, however I of course turned it down a bit when directing the jet into my ear. It also felt like I was removing wax (my ears tend to attract a lot of it) however, it most probably was making that situation worse. 

Yes, I know - very stupid behaviour. However, it acted as a significant sort of stress reliever so I kept doing it.

I stopped a few weeks ago, however I now notice a muffled hearing in one of my ears (not really any pain). I'm terrified that I've perforated my eardrum and done some sort of significant damage. If I put my finger in, I can feel a sort of hard lump, which terrifies me.

This may sound stupid to many but I'm so sick with anxiety about it - I'm not able to see my GP until next week and I'm worried the situation will be even worse by then. What makes it even worse is knowing that it's my fault.