Ive been depressed for at least 5 years, with some « ups » and downs, this September I started uni again after a gap-year, one year of basically just trying not to die. It’s been 1 month and a half since classes started and I’m feeling like I’m drowning. I was so optimistic because before that I had been pretty much ok for the past 2/3 months, I felt like I was genuinely not depressed anymore. I obviously had some difficult days sometimes but I felt much better. I’m not doing good rn, I feel helpless, alone, sad and pathetic, I don’t want to drop out again but I’m in so much pain. I feel like I’ll never be cured, that I’ll only have phases of « felling better » but at the end I’ll always be trapped with this fucking depression. I fight and try my best everyday, I’m exhausted…