I know this is a well trodden one, but really just looking for a bit of emotional support from others who have been through similar. Currently feeling SO low as I recently made the decision to end my relationship of a year with my BF as he has finally admitted, after much avoidance of the topic, that he does want children in the future. 

We are both in our mid/early 30's. I was open about my not wanting kids from the beginning so can't help but feel hurt and a little manipulated into getting in this deep. We love each other and have helped each other so much emotionally over the pandemic, I am honestly heartbroken, but staying in a relationship that is doomed feels somehow worse.. My previous relationships have been with either not serious or with toxic men and he's really need a breath of fresh air and completely non judgemental about my mental health issues.

Although this was effectively my decision I'm feeling so wrecked by it, I keep spiralling between feeling its the kindest thing I can do and practically begging him to change his mind ( i know it isn't fair). I feel like I am being punished for being a 'bad' women who does not want to procreate. Loosing him feels like the punishment that our societal norms has dished out, it feels like a rejection and loving me is not enough for him. Has anyone else been through anything similar? I am so confused and in pain.