I’m sitting at my desk, about to lose my absolute mind; I’m back in a deep depression rut, my brain keeps sending me super dark thoughts of ending it all, and then… a ping on my computer (the lovely Microsoft teams sound, you know what I mean.)

“Hey I hope you’re having a good day! Could you complete XYZ by the end of the day for me? Thanks.”

It’s so… fake. It’s so… pointless. And yet I find it slightly amusing. What I’m really getting is: “Hey I actually could give less of a shit about how you’re doing because you’re easily replaceable and ANYONE could do your job, but since you’re here, finish this mindless task for me, k thx bye.” In a way, it snaps me out of my lull for a few seconds. 

I sigh, smack my face to wake myself up, and put my hands back on my stupid little keyboard. “Of course! I’ll get it done as soon as I can!” Hit send. And once again, I find myself in the same cycle. Here we go again.

I find it amusing, to be honest. Fake corporate jargon, trying to convince me I actually matter in this fake little hierarchy of this company. What is this world we live in, other than to suffer? Everything would be so much easier if I just… ceased to exist. But no, every single day… I find myself back at my desk, typing away aimlessly. Don’t even know why I’m here anymore, why I even care. No one cares I’m near suicidal. Just get my work done and there will be no problems. Menial mindless crap. Life goes on and it doesn’t stop. Whatever keeps me going, I guess.