I’ve been talking to a guy I met a couple months ago that I met at a behavioral health hospital. I told him from the beginning that I wasn’t looking to date, just someone to talk to and enjoy their company.

We went on a few dates and talk on the phone everyday. Still, I’m not ready to date. We met in the “crazy space” as I call it. That alone is a red flag for me. I obviously couldn’t deal with my issues, don’t stack yours on me.

He told me 2 weeks later that he’d told his cousin I was the love of his life and asked how it made me feel. I was honest and said it made me feel uncomfortable. I asked him not to come see me as often and to rethink his feelings. Does he feel this because he’s vulnerable or does he really feel that? 

You can probably tell I’ve been down this road before. I was convinced if I told him honestly how I was feeling constantly and didn’t hold anything back, he’d follow my lead.

Still he persisted.

I started ignoring calls and chats, told him to focus on his kids, career, school. I told him to focus on his mental  health and loving himself. I even told him to grow up.

Still he persisted.

This past week I let him come see me for a night out of town (first visit in 3 weeks). I was traveling for work and told him he could come up and hang out. He came and I was immediately annoyed. He tried to make me less annoyed which had the adverse effect. (Of course!) I yelled at him on the way to dinner and then calmly explained to him at the table why I was upset with his choices.

He told me he loved me.

We sat in silence for the rest of dinner and night. I asked him to leave the following morning.

Have I not done enough to prove to him and tell him that I’m not ready for this? Should I back off completely? Help me!