TW: Sexual trauma, ED mention, SH mention, Venting

Two years ago, my (now former) godfather tried to blackmail me into having sex with him (I was 15) with the threat of turning the nudes in to the police and getting my 18 year old bf thrown in jail. I had to flirt and talk my way into him deleting the pictures and showing me proof of them being deleted. He tried taking advantage of my age regression, was constantly making inappropriate jokes, sxualizing me, and was an over all fucking creep. My godmother was oblivious to it. The morning after he tried blackmailing me, I was brought home by my mom. My boyfriend at the time told her everything because I wouldn’t and he was afraid something would happen to me if I stayed there. I never told the full story to my godmother, my mom told her for me. But she understood. She talked to her therapist about it, removed his last name from her Facebook, and wven got their matching tattoos covered up. It seemed like she was done with him. But I noticed recently that she added his last name back to her Facebook, and started posting about him again?? I scrolled back pretty far and realized they’ve BOTH been posting each other for fucking months. ANS THEY BOIGHT A FUCKING HOUSE TOGETER. She got back with him.  So, i finally got the coursge to tell her everything that happened in very vivid detail so she fully understood the severity of it. She left me on read. She texted my mom and told her she got the text from me and didn’t know how to respon. My mom told her that I just wanted to hear her say “I love you and I believe you.” She left her on read too. They use to be best friends, they were inseparable. I messaged my godmother again and said “Will you at least tell me you believe me?” And she left me on read. Then she blocked me. She fucking blocked me. She’s been posting quotes about cutting people out of her life and how people start drama and all this bullshit. One of the quotes she posted about her pedophile husbsnd is : “Tell me all the horrible things you’ve done, and let me love you anyways” WHAT THE FUCK??? I’ve known them both my whole life and I used to call them my aunt and uncle. I looked up to them so much. They were like role models to me. I wanted to be like them. I’ve felt so so so so so so awful lately. I can’t cope. Im. I’m so tired. I’m holding on by a thread here. Oh and to just add onto that wonderful pile of stinking shit my boyfriend/FP has been super busy so we’ve barely been talking on the phone. (We’re long distance) + add on self harm urges and struggling with an eating disorder again AND no longer on medication, that makes an extremely mentally unstable bitch. I’m losing my mind. I do not know what to do anymore.