When I was a kid, I thought life would be so perfect when you grow up and I always wanted to become older, so I can do everything I want and travel wherever I want—well fuck no, I hate being 18 years old. I hate being hopeless. I hate school. I hate my stupid brain, my bad grades, my body, my introverted ass, my appearance. I hate how much I disappoint my parents. I hate how unsuccessful and how fucking dumb I am when it comes to school. I hate whenever I fail my exams. I hate looking at myself. I despise myself more and more every fucking day. I’m ugly, and I feel so lonely because I hide my true feelings from everyone. I hate myself for suffering from depression, anxiety, and eating disorders. I hate ruining everyone’s mood with my pessimistic attitude. I hate my body, I hate everything I’m insecure about. I just want to die. I don’t know why I’m brought to this world without any motive. I’m a fucking burden to the world with that stupid brain of mine. You don’t need me in your fucking future, so just let die. I hate it here. I don’t want to live anymore. I’m just so fucking tired and ashamed of everything I’ve done. Let me die in peace. Please. The world won’t even change one bit if I weren’t her after all, and I pray every night that my life becomes shorter. I’m very religious, so I can’t and won’t commit suicide. But life is really testing my limits right now, and it knows exactly how to destroy me mentally, emotionally, and physically. Everyday is a hopeless day, filled with tearful eyes and nonstop wishes to leave this world relievedly. I hope my death comes sooner because I really can’t take it anymore… I’m sorry but I really needed to vent and let it all out because I feel like I’m suffocating rn.