A couple months ago I went through the worst manic episode of my life. I dated a boy during this month and ended up going farther sexually than I was comfortable with. Because I was manic, I couldn’t put two and two together to say no or that I wasn’t comfortable. I felt like I led him on and now I’m worried about his mental state. I try to be the best christian I can, so doing those things when I was manic leaves me now in a deep hole of regrets about all the things I did, and I don’t know how to just move past it, and accept what happened. I find myself constantly thinking about what happened and feeling gross about myself and my actions
(Context: I was diagnosed with BP1 last year, not on any medication as I can’t go see my doctor to get on new meds until October after having a bad time on Abilify)