To preface: I (19f) have ASD and ADHD and I am involved romantically with a man (20m) w BPD and ADHD. I have known him for years, and I feel very strongly about him. He is actively getting help, going to therapy weekly and not only can I see a difference from when I knew him 2/3 years ago, but he says he truly believes he’s changed a lot. 

The question: I was reading some posts about women w BPD dating men with ASD and finding the whole relationship awful and hard to deal with. They said it was because their male partner thought very logically and was quite cold and monotone toward life, while they were very emotional and needed a lot of reassurance. I have found that men and women w ASD are very different, and women with ASD actually tend to get misdiagnosed with BPD quite a lot due to the similarities. So I’m wondering two things. One being, what are y’all’s experiences with BPD and ASD relationships when the woman has ASD and the man has BPD? and secondly, is there any advice you would give me as someone romantically involved with a man with BPD?