I feel so powerless. I don't know how to cope with going from feeling like someone totally cares about me to feeling like they hate me. It's so irrational I know but in my mind it makes sense so much. One night my FP loves talking to me and is super engaged, and then the next they don't really talk much and seems so disinterested. Sure they said they were a little tired, but i don't understand how being a little tired can just shift completely how you talk to me.

I feel like I pour my heart out for them and that they only like it *sometimes.* i feel so used sometimes. i just want back a small, tiny portion of what i give in. i am too fragile to be treated so drastically different for no reason. i don't want to exist anymore, it's so heartwrenching living like this.