So my husband has BPD. We’ve been together for 7 years and call each other best friends. He was diagnosed in July last year and due to demand in our area and the Coronavirus he hasn’t seen a doctor since.
We’ve been let down by healthcare system so many times it feels like he has to try to kill himself to get any support whatsoever. Of course I spend every day trying to prevent this. But he’s also an alcoholic who has been trying and failing to give up for years. He has been feeling suicidal for the last few weeks and has been cutting himself. He asked me to hide all the pills in the house so he can’t take them as he was planning to.
Tonight he wasn’t feeling good, bought alcohol then descended down through the cycle of emotion. Distant, then wanting sex, then feeling rejected and angry as the sex didn’t go how he planned. Then shouting and screaming and flipping furniture while he reeled off times where I’ve let him down. I called the police last year when he was trying to put his head through a window and I couldn’t control him. When the police said he had to go with them as he had threatened suicide he fought them. Then when he got to the police station he says they stripped him naked and threatened him even had him on the floor with a foot on his head. He blames me for this police brutality when all I was trying to do was stop him hurting himself.
Tonight was the first time in a long time it’s come to throwing furniture and smashing things. 
The let downs by the nhs have meant he won’t ask for help and I don’t know what to do. I’m scared he’s going to really harm himself. I’m worried about the smashed glass on the floor he could use to cut. I’m upstairs trying to comfort our dogs as they are obviously scared. Think he’s calmed down a bit now, but I just don’t know what to do. A word from anyone would be great right now.