Hey everyone, first time poster 


So I recently made some new friends who are all wonderful people and I love them dearly but everyday I am so deeply terrified that they hate me and are going to leave me and stop being my friends. I also met someone and we’ve been hooking up and I really like this person. We hung out for a bit over the course of Thursday and Friday but last night I was feeling v sad and texted him to see if he wanted to take a walk but he never responded, literally never texted me back. I like him, he’s cute and he makes me laugh, and we both want to keep it casual but I didn’t realize that meant casual to the point of him only texting me when he’s horny and putting zero effort into getting to know me, which is bothering me a lot more than I hoped it would. 

I just feel like I’m too much and too needy and I’m ruining everything. I feel lost and alone and I don’t want these people to leave me My instinct is to just disappear or tell them that maybe it’s best if we don’t hang out but I value these relationships too much to let them all end. At the same time, this fear that they’re going to leave me is so exhausting and I feel like I’d just better off alone, for myself and for others, but I can’t be alone either and I am just losing it and don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m expecting way too much out of people and I just wish I could turn off all my feelings. I wish I could just know how everyone was feeling about me all the time but it’s not feasible. I wish they felt as strongly as I do for them but it’s just not feasible. 

My friends don’t really hit me up to hang out, the person I’ve been hooking up with only wants to see me when he’s horny, and I just wanna feel like someone out there is as enthusiastic about seeing me as I am about seeing them. I want to be someone people want to see and hang out with but I’m so fucking annoying and can’t shut up it’s no wonder people don’t wanna see me. 

Idk, I’m spiraling. Don’t know what to do. Any and all suggestions welcome.