I'm (27f) ready to give up. My family is better off without me. What is the point of everything, the more I contemplate and think about life, it's so meaningless. The same thing everyday; wakeup, clean, cook, rinse and repeat. Even if I do other things like go out, travel, etc. Those are just distractions to keep the time going. 

My kids are better off without me. Everything is a trigger and everytime I swear I'm going to be better, not be myself, I just mess up and yell, say hurtful things and ruin everyone's day. I know my husband and kids are better off without me and my negative energy and attitude. 

I don't know how to change myself and after trying so many times I just don't care about myself. I loath myself and I know noone truly loves me. There is nothing about me to love.

I've thought about this and I think I know how I'm going to go. I'm going to try to have one last perfect day. The best day for them where I give it my all to be someone I'm not. They'll have the best last memory of me.