As the title says, I just got out of a really nice place 2 days ago. I was there for a month, and I thought I was ready and doing better, but I was wrong. Been suicidal since the moment I stepped foot back in my parents' house.

I'm so utterly tired and broken. I feel like I will never get better. I've been hospitalized 4 times this year, attempted twice. Almost attempted again last night. A friend told my parents what happened. Want to attempt again but can't because my parents took my car keys and wallet.

Now I'm having to go back next week to the same residential place again.

I'm so alone and tired of everything. I hate this wretched life I live. I hate this disorder. I hate everything. Please help me. Someone. Anyone. My parents won't stop crying and making me feel bad for being this way. I'm so angry at my friend for telling them.

Why can't I just be normal? I HATE BEING ALIVE