It’s just so exhausting, all the time. I would never end my life because I’m too scared to and it might hurt some people, but that’s about it. I always try to lie to myself and say that I feel happy or even just okay, but I know I’m not. I’m even tired of lying to myself. Even if I’m doing something that I usually like now, it just goes back to that emptiness and sadness.

Nothing feels fun. Just empty, sad, depressed, alone, and hollow. Even when I’m with friends it feels like I’m just I’m living life on the sidelines. It feels like they aren’t even there. I just don’t care about anything. It was all weekend this time. All week even, but I didn’t have work to distract me on the weekend. No matter how good I feel for even just a little bit, that feeling just always comes back. I have nothing to enjoy and nothing to look forward to. I’m just existing because I have to. It’s not fair. I want to be happy but it just feels impossible.