Warning: Super sappy post. (More seriously, trigger warning for symptoms of anxiety)

I have ROUGH anxiety attacks, I vomit in what we have playfully called the 'puke bucket' next to the bed after night terrors. It got so bad I had to go to the hospital because the anxiety induced vomiting started busting blood vessels, almost going into my lungs, and I was sicking up blood. I wake up sweating, my heart racing, crying, you know the drill. I know I am preaching to the choir. 

My partner, darling that they are, bought me a weighted blanket for Christmas and will drape it over me. They know just how to pet my hair, and get me cubes of ice to crunch (which helps for some reason). They set up a fan to blast cold air on my face when I need it, but they also check my temperature to make sure I don't get too cold. At night they read to me, and I get to curl in next to them. It's bliss.

Yesterday, they came home SO SLEEPY. Long shift and all that. They came to bed and I was scrolling on my phone. An hour in I sneezed loudly, and they - still in their sleep - wrapped around me and said "shh it's okay it's okay I am here I'm here" and rocked me. It's the first time I've been not in a panic attack and been aware enough to hear what they say. I am guessing to do it in their sleep it must be the way they always help me when I am all 'out of it'.

I feel all aglow with love and, like a dork, I am baking cookies and their favourite dinner today as a gesture.

4 years going strong, wouldn't change them for the world, and as they always say to me, they wouldn't change a thing about me either.