I keep making the same financial mistakes. What is wrong with me? Whenever I get in a dark space I go "screw it" and buy tons of things and now I'm at -$400+ in the bank and have had to beg my mom to not be mad and to buy me groceries. ***(I am NOT asking for money here.)***  


It feels like my world is crumbling around me constantly. I panic. I try to fix the situation with payday loans but I don't even qualify for those anymore. Everything seems darker because I'm just so stupid and keep making the same sad-time coping mistakes. 

I just want everything to stop for a moment. I almost feel like I don't even deserve to be upset about this because I did this to myself and I make decent pay, but I have so much debt and I don't know what to do with myself paycheck to paycheck.   


I'm so sad.   
I feel so alone in this.   
I don't know what to do. 

My depression gets triggered regularly by money issues. 

I sometimes wish I was someone who didn't care. 

&amp;#x200B;

But I hate myself for this.