We've been together for 3 months almost, still early days. There's been one or two misunderstandings but other than that (and currently being apart because of lockdown) everything is perfectly fine. 


So why am I constantly on edge? It's almost as if my brain can't accept that I'm genuinely happy and instead fills me with nothing but dread. I try my absolute best to not be irrational and to not be cold  towards him when my mind spirals but it's so hard. 


I really threw myself in the deep end when we decided to get together, mainly because I promised myself that I never wanted another relationship again due to my previous one being emotionally and sexually abusive. I really wanted this but I'm scared a lot of the time, mostly without reasoning. 


I just want to give him all the love I have and be happy. What is wrong with me?