
hi. i recently started a relationship with a person but i have a lot of thoughts at the back of my head that are holding me back on so many things.

last week i confessed my feelings to them and later on that week asked them out. this isn't anything out of the ordinary of course, but after i confessed, they just said they liked me back and oh well, that was basically it. i thought maybe they'd ask if i wanted to be in a relationship or not. me being the overthinker™️ i completely immersed myself into the belief that maybe they weren't telling the truth at all. after having a talk with a mutual friend, i thought "why not ask them out anyway?" so i did, and yeah we're dating. cooooool.. or at least i'm supposed to feel like it is i guess.

just yesterday, i asked them if they wanted to make this relationship public or not. their answer didn't really excite me since it was pretty much as i expected. they said that people could talk behind our backs and that we should keep it a secret just a bit longer. for a little context, we are in the same friend group and people there are the best when it comes to being total dicks. (we should be picking better friends but oh well..) considering this, i also resonated with him but something still felt very off.

maybe i'm reading too much into this, but i couldn't help but think maybe they're ashamed of dating me. maybe they see this relationship like a test drive (shout out to joji) and maybe they don't care about how i feel at all. 

if i'm overthinking and any of the things i said doesn't make any sense, please let me know!! i tend to contemplate over so much bullshit that this is just my regular way of thinking.

thank you!