I feel like I’m not a normal person at all.. last night I went to a coworker’s Christmas party and left feeling like absolute shit. It was all her friends and I felt like I was just “there”. It’s my second time going to one of her gatherings with these people… just seeing everybody sharing connections and realizing I don’t have that, made me feel shitty. The holidays are coming up. I’m really close with my grandma but other than her, I’m not close with anybody. Having friends is too draining and I try to date but I don’t have the patience and I’m always triggered by the bullshit that comes with dating.. so I just feel so alone. Like nobody understands me or even cares. 

Btw, I’m diagnosed with anxiety and depression that I’m currently on meds for.