I am just tied up in knots these days. There is so much bad news happening, and I'm exhausted. People tell me to "take a step back" "don't watch the news" "stay off social media", but I CAN'T. First, FB and Reddit are where I do most of my socializing (because I can do it on my own terms and I have the time to respond semi-appropriately) Second, my BPD "trigger" (the life event that really kicked things off) was being isolated in a foreign country for 2 years without any access to the news. I'm not fully addicted (watching the news channels 24/7) but it's almost compulsory for me to read through the top headlines on 2 or 3 newspapers, and 2 or 3 media outlets. And because I lived in a foreign country, I'm much more interested in world news and politics.

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This is especially trouble for me when it comes to American politics, because I am sitting here watching the US meltdown. I get SO ANGRY, and SO SAD, and I feel SO HELPLESS. I'm constantly reposting things, and even though only half of what I post is political (the rest is usually stupid memes, videos, etc) I get plenty of flack. ESPECIALLY from conservative friends/family. I'm just so sick of the hypocrisy from people claiming to be Christians. I'm sick of the greed and narcissism running this country. I'm especially angry that no one seems to care. That they've all just become numb and ignored it all. It's this mix of "if it doesn't affect me it doesn't exist" and "if it doesn't affect me it doesn't matter".

I feel like I don't have anywhere to go to vent these things except here - and I'm pretty sure by posting something "political" I'm going to get downvoted like hell. (And of course I take THAT very personal - but that's a whole other post) My dad is frustrated with me ("You need to take a break until you can learn to absorb world news without taking it personally") My mom is sympathetic ("There's a lot of bad things going on, but you need to redirect your attention to seeking out the good things happening.") Half my friends want me to "take a chill pill" and "let it go" because "there's more to life than politics and news." A few friends are rabidly LEFT and rabidly RIGHT.

Meanwhile I'm in tears over the children being separated from parents, incensed that the Trump Admin is dismantling the EPA and milking taxpayers for their lavish desires, angry at how Israel is treating Palestinians, frustrated that other countries are electing their own Trumps (dammit Brazil), and I want God to smite all sorts of people.

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I joke about buying an abandoned missile silo and only popping my head topside once a year like a groundhog, but the urge to disconnect from the entire world, and all my friends and family is strong.