It's been 2 years now since my husband left me. I really struggled with loneliness at first, so invited my older sister (38F) to live with me. The idea was that she could help with bills, help with pet care, and help with chores. I also just wanted some company. 

I hate to say it, but I wish I had fought through the lonliness and lived alone. She is diagnosed with both BPD and bipolar. At the time she moved in, she was staying with our parents and doing great. Since then, she has relapsed into alcoholism, quit her job, and does not do any house or yard work. She has not contributed financially in a year and a half. She doesn't even let the dogs outside unless I explicitly ask her to on a specific day/time. She holes herself up in her room and doesn't let the dogs come in, so they are basically alone all day when I'm gone. I love my sister and I know she struggles with mental health issues/addiction, but this is not working out. She also goes on a lot of online dates and invites people she barely knows to spend the night at our house. I've even been buying her groceries recently. I feel like I'm her mom. 

The problem is, I fear that she won't ever talk to me again if I ask her to leave. She really struggles with understanding her part in things (she has lost many jobs over the years and she is convinced that it is because her coworkers think she has a "mean face." She is constantly late for work and starts weird petty fights with them butcannot even consider that this has anything to do with it. She holds grudges against these people for years after the fact). I am fairly certain she will think I am just being a bitch if I ask her to leave, no matter how gently I go about it. I know this is part of her symptoms and I don't fault her for it, I just don't want to lose her. We've been pretty close forever.  I have told her that she cannot drink in the house anymore, but I strongly suspect she is hiding it. 

I'm not really sure what I'm looking for here. I know I have to ask her to leave. Her behavior has become dangerous (she fell in the shower while drunk and got a concussion). Maybe just looking for comraderie or stories about having to do something similarly challenging? Thank you.