Hi there! first post here. I'm new to reddit in general so IDK where this post would be accurate. I just dont know what to do.

My(20f) boyfriend(21m) of 3 years about a month ago got diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. However, he's been displaying symptoms after the first year of us being together. Spring of 2019 he never could get out of bed and only stayed in inside. He would be worse than he normally was at texting and calling and already doesn't have many friends aside from me :,( He was living with his parents over the summer and then moved in with me(this time last year) because his mental health was only getting worse with them. I helped him get a job but he just stopped going randomly. With the help I get from my parents and my job I only ever have enough to get us by. And then everything that's happened in 2020, things have only gotten worse. He's 6'2 and is weighing close to 140 pounds and doesn't take care of himself the days I am not with him. After his diagnosis he said he was ready to get better but isn't taking the necessary steps like therapy and medication. He is scared of medication which makes sense(medication apparently can make the mental illness worse)  but he is terrified of therapy because last year he had started seeing a counselor, but then his mental health had gotten worse because he was faced with his fears but had no solution to them. We live together and have a cat but I feel like I'm stuck and don't know what to do. I'm starting to feel like we're not even in a relationship as much as I am the caretaker for him and just making sure he is safe. I don't have enough resources to help either because i have many family issues and mental illnesses of my own and I go to school full time. I feel as though my life is on hold and I have to go through my savings just to keep us afloat. If we break up his health will only get worse and he may become homeless or end up committing suicide at his parents' house. I really love him and do want to be with him so I feel as though it's selfish if I were to break up with him.

What sucks is that his birthday is this weekend and his sister and best friends want to come by and celebrate (which I want!) but I have to host and take care of everything financially so it's a pain. It will also be me who cleans the house before and after and I don't want to do that especially when I am already feeling resentful :(