i’m probably gonna regret posting this when i wake up but it’s how i feel atm. for years (since high school) i would constantly invalidate myself by telling myself i’m exaggerating my feelings or that i’m faking everything because my symptoms aren’t as severe as other peoples. i also invalidate myself because my symptoms seem short lived (i think. i don’t know anything anymore. i never did). when i got diagnosed i believed my therapist. i matched some of the criteria and the more i see the struggles that other people deal with when it comes to bpd the more i relate, but i don’t even know why i still don’t believe myself. i’m always saying “stop lying. stop faking. it’s not real. nothing is real.” or shit like that. or when i do something that people with bpd often do, i tell myself i’m only doing it purposely because i was diagnosed. i hope that makes sense. all in all, i can’t take myself seriously. i don’t believe myself, i haven’t for years. i hate myself and i’m tired of having these ups and downs.