I'm new here. New in the subreddit and new underneath the BPD diagnosis. It's been really hard for me to grasp on this diagnosis, since finding the right meds and the right diagnosis has been a long journey. Unfortunately, the thing that finally pushed me into seeking help was coming out of a three-year-long abusive relationship. My partner had convinced me, a year ago, to stop taking my meds and everything sort off spiraled down from there. At the time I was living abroad and very vulnerable, despite all the violence and aggression I was unable to leave this person's side. I was convinced they were the only support I had. Thankfully I realized this was not the case, as my family reached out after I ended up at the hospital with an overdose and convince me to come back with them. I thought I had severed those ties, but somehow I hadn't. 

Today, six months after I returned home, I feel better and more grounded. But the uncertainty that my diagnosis brings to me is really hunting. I don't know if I will ever trust my self to feel emotions towards others. I really don't know what I'm expecting with this post. I just feel hopeless without this person in my life. Even tho they hit me, abused me, and manipulated me as a means to an end. Yet I can't stop obsessing over him. I've attached to them so deeply I don't know how to let go. My question is: how do you forget those you latch on to?