My best friend sean died 4 days ago. was riding his motorcycle and got fucking flattened in an intersection by some fuck not paying attention. today was his funeral, couldn’t even make myself go. just sat in my closet and drank. i hate myself for my anxiety i should’ve been there for him and his family. i wish i could trade places with him every second of everyday since he’s died. everything that could go wrong does go wrong in my head and i can’t stop thinking about how bad things can go then i shut down. i just want it to stop. i just wanna be normal.