I could’ve gotten into her college, if I had just applied. But I didn’t because of how bad my mental health had gotten (and has been). I’ve truly been in a horrific state. She’s been the only good thing in my life, and is literally the only reason I’m still alive. We’ve had such a good relationship up till this point, I rarely had any of the negative things that come with BPD with her. But I’ve been struggling to sleep or eat or even stay alive in fear of when she’ll leave me. Therapy hasn’t helped me with this, nor medication. She’s done everything, truly everything she can do to reassure me, like the sweet person she is. But it doesn’t help. I’ve lost 20 pounds over the summer and feel weak and tired all the time. 

I don’t know what to do, I have nothing in my life without her. Please, I just need some help.