So, despite her playing a major role in my upbringing, I did pay a hefty price for it. Never allows long chats with friends, especially if they're female. I tell her about any problem I face, and the first thing I get to hear is how incompetent I'm, and how much greater is she in every possible aspect. And still she expects me that I'll talk to her. Acc to her "if you can't talk with your parents, what you talked about with your friends, then those friends are the biggest of scums". And honestly I don't know how to deal with it anymore. She once (in my childhood) picked me up and threw me down to the hard floor because I was sleeping in an odd time. The next thing she did:- grabbed my hair and bashed my head against the wall. The term logic seems to be non existent for her. I couldn't speak up as a child. And by nature I'm the heights of being introvert. At present times, when I do speak up for myself, I'm being thrown the highest of intolerable tantrums by her. So much that I wanna die right at that moment. And mind you I'm not at all a weak person. But in here I break down. Guess she should have had a different weaker child who could have committed suicide. And my father, probably the most spineless character I've ever seen. Made wrong choices. And too afraid to claim his mistakes and change them for better. To afraid to speak up in family affairs. To afraid to right the wrong. 

I've my birthday coming up but I have lost every willingness to live this pathetic life.

Just need a help from you all. Whosoever reading this post, please heartily pray to god that I die shortly. Within the next 10 days. Love you all. 🍎