I was doing so well. Things weren’t great in my life, but I was fine mentally— for the first time in a while. Then something happened a couple weeks ago, and without going into much detail, it has completely changed the way I view myself and my choices and my life as a whole. I hate how much I romanticize memories with people from my past but I can’t help it, I just do. I ruin things with everyone I ever meet, and I consistently make the wrong choice just to seek out things that make me feel good. But anyways, yeah; this thing that happened. It has me questioning everything and I feel like I’m going to explode. I feel so trapped. I feel like I’m just a crazy person and settling down was the wrong choice and I just need to run away from everything. I have no idea how to deal with these emotions without hurting myself in some way. I just want to binge-drink and do drugs and go outside and scream at the sky. I keep wanting to do random things just because I think they’ll make me feel good or take my mind off how trapped I feel, I don’t even know how to explain them other than that they’re reckless and weird and make me just feel so insane. It’s so scary, because I feel like it’s getting worse and I’m going to end up snapping and changing everything about my life just to feel “free” and get away from the thing that is triggering me. I want it to just pass, but I feel like it isn’t going to anytime soon. 