why cant i just be good at one fucking thing in my life or feel happiness instead of misery and pain etc. i dont think im gonna live much longer tbh. no woman on earth wants me, im a virgin, never had a gf, while most are out fucking and being in relationships. depression never goes away, had it for 11+ years. i cant feel pleasure ever. this place is hell. so yea, of course i dont care if i were to be shot dead by god. id only want my family to know i loved them alot despite sucking at showing it and for them not to be sad about me leaving this existence. im so touch deprived going to the hair dressers fucks with me. i cant keep doing this shit man, i cant. if u tell me to get a hooker... u dont understand.