For most of my life I've been eating alone. During high school, I was bullied and alone - and as such I always sat alone. I remember this girl who thought it was really sad for me to eat alone all the time, so atleast for a while she tried to sit with me or "pull me into the group". But in the end I was mostly alone anyway. 

Eventually I became so used to the social alienation that I hardly thought it was sad or odd for me to always eat alone. But that was really just me supressing my feelings of loneliness in order to cope.

But now, reflecting on a life full of lonely meals... I cry. Actually had a mental breakdown when I started writing this. I've repressed most of the memories of my life because they are too sad to deal with.

And to this day, I eat alone. 