I have pretty bad social anxiety, lockdowns have only made things worse. I don't go out, I hardly see anyone. Yesterday I visited a friend and his family for dinner. I had never met his family before, I haven't had a sit down dinner with other people in over a year. I REALLY wanted to give a good impression. I was vibrating out of my skin with anxiety for several days in advance.

It went really well, they were lovely, friendly and interesting. They enjoyed the pie I made and their grumpy dog even licked my hand (which is apparently very high praise). I love spending time with my friend and this was the first time we had seen each other in months. 

Now that its over. I can't stop running through everything I said, every thing I did. Picking apart everything that they may have possibly thought was rude or strange. My leg and back muscles are aching from the unconscious full body clenching I was doing the whole time. I must have seemed so awkward.

They were so nice, they said they looked forward to seeing me again... I'm convinced they don't like me. I wish my brain wasn't like this :C