please don't judge. i am very well aware it's bad. i know i should stop. i also have to say just assume proper wound care was taken after each incident, because there are several.

but i cut myself again for the first time yesterday in over a year. they were juat a shitload of shallow cuts. but enough to barely satisfy an itch.

twice more i cut myself that night before bed. not much other than a few dozen cat scratches.

in the shower this morning after some yard work i cut again. but this time i intended on something sinister.

i plugged the water on the tub once i got the temperature to where i liked and then i started cutting myself in the shower. i wanted to see how red I could get the tub. it was enough to make it obvious it was a shitload of blood but not enough blood was lost to cause any sort of dizziness before (im 31, ive been self harming off and on since I was 13. i know what I'm doing lol)

i gotta be honest

i could only do cat scratches but holy shit

it feels so fucking good to be alive again.

I can't wait to do more. i am happy again..