First, sorry in advance; this is going to be a long post. I'm going to split it into sections though to make it easier to skim over, and I'll add a tl;dr at the end. I'm also still working on understanding formatting on here so I apologize if my formatting is weird.

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**Background:**

I've had symptoms of depression since I was around 11 (I'm 26 now), but only sought out treatment when I was 17 and was diagnosed with postpartum depression. Around age 22, was diagnosed with MDD and GAD. I've tried several different meds for the two issues. Prozac, Celexa, buspirone, and hydroxyzine did nothing for me. Zoloft helped for a short time, but eventually seemed to stop working. About a year ago, started Wellbutrin and that has been the most helpful but still not 100%. I'm still on it.

In January, I went to a new psychiatrist to seek out an ADHD diagnosis. I was diagnosed with ADHD (and started Adderall), but he also mentioned that a lot of my symptoms sounded like bipolar type 2. I basically ignored this for a while, but ended up having what I think was a hypomanic episode in the end of May. Afterward, it was the first time that I really thought "I was really not behaving like my typical self".

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**The episode:**

So I had recently ended a three year relationship and was very sad. A few days after the relationship ended though, I began to feel really hopeful and excited about life. I mentioned to my friends that I thought it was odd how happy I was feeling and that I knew I'd be sad again eventually. During a 9-10 day period, I slept around 3-4 hours per night. I was working out 2-3 times per day (around 45-60 minutes each time). I started focusing really heavily on diet and exercise, organizing my apartment, and school projects. I felt really great. I also was annoying the shit out of my friends, constantly talking about new ideas. I remember sending a text saying something like "I feel like I can't stop seeking out new information. I'm not hyperfocused on one thing, but it's like I can't stop researching everything." I also had a friend tell me in person "Slow down, take a breath." when I was frantically talking about how excited I was about life. I also made some impulsive sexual decisions that were very unlike myself during that time. Once I sort of "came down", I realized how unusual my behavior was for me and started researching bipolar disorder. I found that I met all of the criteria for bipolar type 2 in the DSM-5 and related to a lot of the articles I read. I realized that this wasn't the first time I'd had an "episode" like that, but it was probably the most intense. So I decided to bring it up to my psychiatrist.

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**Diagnosis/treatment:**

My psychiatrist said that it sounded like textbook hypomania and that I was at the right age where bipolar starts to show up for a lot of people. He said he didn't want to say for certain whether it is type 1 or 2 yet, but that he's leaning toward type 2. I agree. I don't think I've experienced full on mania. He decided to keep me on the Wellbutrin and Adderall because I've responded well to those, and add in Lamotrigine. I started at 25 mg and was supposed to go up to 50, but I started to have significant hair loss and a swollen lymph node on one side of my neck. We decided to switch to Abilify. I started at 5 mg a couple weeks ago and am now at 10 mg.

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**My feelings:**

I'm feeling overwhelmed. I've always been open about my mental health issues, but I guess to me bipolar seems so much "bigger" than depression/anxiety/ADHD. I feel like I have some imposter syndrome and don't know if the psychiatrist is right. I'm worried I'm exaggerating my symptoms. It doesn't help that my family thinks it's absolute nonsense. I've always been the type to internalize a lot, and I have a sister with much more obvious mental health issues than me, so they see me as the stable one. It's frustrating. I'm also trying to come to terms with the fact that this is a lifelong diagnosis. It's just a lot.

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**My questions:**

1. How do I know if my medication is working, and how long does it take to start working? I've been feeling good this past week, but I don't know if it's the medication or if I'm just at my sort of "baseline" right now.
2. How do you differentiate between a depressive episode and just feeling rightfully sad? I've found myself questioning my feelings a lot on sad days, thinking "Is this the start of a depressive episode?" Same with really good days. I worry it's the start of hypomania.
3. How do you deal with family who doesn't believe your diagnosis? Do I just need to accept that they're not going to come around, or should I try to get them to understand?
4. How can I be certain this is the right diagnosis? Is it just something that takes time to accept? I have some doubts because of the fact that I don't think SSRI's or my Adderall have ever sent me into mania/hypomania and I know that's common. I was on Adderall (and still am) at the time of the episode I described, but I had been on it since January so I'm not inclined to believe Adderall was the cause.
5. How do you navigate new relationships and sharing your diagnosis? I've been seeing someone and this is something that's been on my mind a lot. I don't know when to share it. I want him to get the chance to know me without the label of "bipolar", but I don't want to be dishonest either and if it turns into something serious, I want him to understand this part of me too. It's also hard because of the fact that I don't think I've fully accepted my diagnosis. I don't know how to say "I have bipolar disorder, maybe. The doctor says I do but I don't know if he's right but also I have all the symptoms so he probably is right but I don't really know".

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**TL;DR:** Recently diagnosed with bipolar (probably type 2). Am on Wellbutrin, Adderall, and Abilify. Struggling to accept diagnosis and I have questions.