What a bad decision. She already had two daughters. Why did she want a third child, a son? I want to cry every day and I hate everything about life. I don't think my life and experience are normal and valid and they don't "count". I think everyone else has a real life and a valid place in society but I don't fit in. I hate people. I hate everyone and everything and my life too. I hope this planet explodes. I wish I had the courage to take myself out. I am tired. I want to rest for an eternity. I don't understand people who enjoy life. They are dumb ivory tower dwellers and have a Stockholm syndrome. 

I am so tired of everything. I am on the verge of crying.