I hate the people around me, and they hate me. I hate the world, I hate everything. People tell me to "look on the bright side" and "savor the little things". THE LITTLE THINGS MAKE ME FEEL WORSE. THEY REMIND ME OF HOW MISERABLE I AM WHEN I'M NOT DRAGGING OTHERS DOWN. The undeniable fact of life is that you will be alone.

You will die alone, because there's nothing on the other end of life.

I am alone right now, slowly killing myself through unhealthy living.

I love my mom, but I AM NOT FORCING MYSELF TO LIVE A MISERABLE LIFE.

I am not going to live for another person again.

I am sad.

I am deeply, deeply sad.

I can't change. I can't lose weight. I can't be happy. I can't stop thinking. I can't stop being hateful. I can't be patient. I can't gain energy or motivation. I can't even get out of bed.

My family is going on a vacation starting tomorrow. I don't want to go while I'm in this state, but this is just me.

I am this.

This is just what I am, and there is no cure.

Truly, I don't know why I'm here today.

I love you dad, love you mom.

I'm sorry.

I'm ending it soon, and nothing is stopping me this time.