Guys man.. last year my Ex cheated on me. He was turkish. Blabla. This is such a stupid fucking trigger but I went on dating apps, found a dude I got along with well. He turned out to be turkish as well. It literally set me back to last year. I keep having bad dreams now. I am increasingly anxious. I keep thinking about all the bad shit my Ex did prior to him cheating 

I feel insanely stupid and really bad for having this as a trigger. I think it's really rude. Brain, you are rude as hell 

But this also made me realize that I should probably not get into another relationship for a while.. I'm still having trouble dealing with this trauma. I have good and bad days, but since I went on dating apps again I've had increasingly more bad days

I just can't believe that the man who I loved so much just did me like that. It still hurts so much. I always had a feeling he was falling out of love, but he always denied it. I thought it was just my BPD acting up.. all the time. In the end he cheated on me, doesn't really feel bad. And even went ahead and made fun of me with his buddies. Love can make you so damn blind. 

I knew he might've been a narcissist - but I never expected it to be this bad..