I want to say so much but nothing is coming out. I want to express my emotions but they are blocked. I want my dreams and hopes back but they shattered and broke me. I want to disappear but I’m a coward and pathetic to do something. I feel wronged but I can’t fight back. I know I’m mentally ill but I feel like I’m mute to say something. My body was told that it’s healthy but I feel it slowly shutting down and dying. People tell me that there is light but I’m blind to see it. People tell me that there is hope if I’m patient but I’m due to die soon. People told me that I didn’t fight enough but I was on survival mode my whole life fighting. I feel like I’m chained to a tree with darkness around, slowly withering away into nonexistent. I wish I had a better life maybe I would be stronger. I wish I can die and be over this nightmare. I wish I was treated better. I wish I wasn’t judged by people. I wish I wasn’t such a weak girl. I wish I had a loving community but I never knew what that was. I wish I was loved so I can reciprocate it to others. I have many wishes but none of them seem to be granted by life. Why is life so ruthless to me and others? Why are we being treated worse than others? Why does life have favouritism? What do I do to be favoured by it? I’m at my limits and want everything to end already. I yearn to be withered away next to my tree that I’m chained with. The tree that carries my soul..