Hi,
I am new here so apologises if this is the wrong sub. 
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had very little patience, very irritable, not able to let things go, upset easily, and generally not felt that happy in life below the surface.

Could this be depression? I always just accepted it was who I was but I’ve now pushed my boyfriend away and I feel awful. I feel like I am never going to have happiness and always be like this. 

I have sought out a counsellor who I am going to meet, but can I turn this around? I don’t know how to stop being so irritable or wound up by things? It’s like it’s ingrained in me. Half the time I say something, and I don’t even realise it’s been a negative comment. So I’m scared, how can I stop it when it’s basically second nature to me? It’s only once it’s said back to me I realise. 

My boyfriend has pointed out a few examples to me and now I feel in a low rut.