I feel numb, dumb, alone and depressed

Swallowing my pain, during these years I’ve possesed

I’m feeling so misunderstood and yet so conflicted

It feels like this pain is somehow, self-inflicted

&amp;#x200B;

Depression killing me like it’s poision in my veins

Suicidal thoughts really eating up my brain

No one to talk to, no one that understands me

Feels like a curse from birth, I was born a bad seed

&amp;#x200B;

Sometimes I wonder why I’m in so much pain

What I did to deserve a life filled with vain

Opening up was never really a part of me

Ever since I did, it just feels like hypocrisy

&amp;#x200B;

I’m so dead inside, yet there is so much I feel

Sometimes I wish I could go back to swallowing those pills

Numbing my pain, SSRIs mixed with weed

Only if I knew that it would make me weak

&amp;#x200B;

Bad trip made me fall into a psychosis

God I wish I never even told this

Losing my mind, never thinking I’d recover

Just to get made fun of by who I thought was my lover

&amp;#x200B;

Toxic relationship

Left me in a rush

Never got any closure

My whole life was fucked

&amp;#x200B;

Spoken or written, my words are never heard

Most times I feel like living life is undeserved

Nothing left to give, nothing left to live for

Cannot recount how many times I felt that rope choke

&amp;#x200B;

Daydreams, all filled with suicide idealation

I never even thought I’d make it past adolence

Wrote a suicide note, just ten years old

Only if I then knew how my life would unfold

&amp;#x200B;

No tears left to cry

Nothing left to prove

Too cowardly to open up

But I have nothing left to lose

&amp;#x200B;

If you’re reading this

I hope you hear my cries

Bc the only thing that’s stopping me

Is donating blood in order to save my younger siblings lives