Got dumped in a small town in a flyover state as a result of stupidly offering our apartment up to my ex. (Yay quiet BPD and giving things away! Between 2016-today I've probably given away more than 20k in belongings.) There's nothing to do on Sunday nights. Nobody dates these nights, I don't drink and even if I did, the only bars are shitty little dives with old men nursing their regrets to sleep, I have no friends, everything I do feels like a waste of time. I know I should be applying for jobs in bigger cities so I can get out of this situation, but I literally just started therapy and a new medication/opened up a relationship with a psychiatrist. I don't want to give that up and have to start all over again somewhere new. Besides, I just wind up back here every time. I can't take this anymore.

&amp;#x200B;

The worst part of all of this, is that if I had committed to therapy/getting better just 3 months ago instead of today, I would be sitting comfortably in the nicest apartment and best relationship of my entire life. Fuck me.

&amp;#x200B;

I'm going to go crazy sitting here doing nothing surrounded by people who are somehow content in their lives doing nothing. 

I hate everything right now. I think. But not really, I feel empty. My body hates everything.