Like please leave me alone if you’re gonna just tell me what not to do lol. I’m aware, I know, I probably shouldn’t have done those things but in the moment all rationale left and I resorted to that. I can’t help it, or maybe I can and I just don’t want to? I don’t know, I’ll blame myself for it later though either way. I hate my life, I hate this disorder and I hate simple answers for such complex issues. Everything I do contradicts itself to the point of not even knowing if this will help or if I’ll be over it in a few minutes. I’m tired of it all.