The look of disgust on her face. I really wish I could go back and un-tell her. She and I never really “clicked” and idk why I thought sharing a bit of my trauma in the kitchen at midnight would bring us closer. Lol wrong. 

She has always talked about how much she hates her mom and how hard she made her childhood. I have an abusive father so I get it. But when I told her I have BPD, she deadass backed away a few steps, made a super uncomfortable face and said “well I don’t even know what that is but I know it’s what my mom has”….. oh your mom, the one who you talk hella shit about? Also how tf have you never looked into what it i by now?

I mean I started explaining how it comes from trauma and can be worked on, almost in a defensive way thinking like “please don’t lose hope in me”. But she retreated in her room, after suggesting I go on more walks outside lmfao. (I don’t have a car anymore so I walk a lot as is)

This was a few months ago. She started treating me differently immediately after. The weird thing was how condescending she became. We were no longer equals. I’m a piece of shit and she’s a mature responsible adult (this chick is younger than me) she started talking to me like a child and would constantly ask if I had money for bills, and say things like assuming I’m broke or stupid. She never asked me to go with her grocery shopping anymore, stopped checking in about normal roommate stuff. And then after a small argument she said she didnt want to live with me anymore. 

Anyway she’s moving out at the end of the month. And while I’m looking forward to being away from the negative energy, I’m still beating myself up about the fact that another bridge is burned. Feels like a lot of burned bridges lately :(