I ask myself everyday why do I have to have this freaking disorder/disease whatever. I have lost all my friends, i got triggered this morning &amp; my sisters are definitely done with me.

I feel so embarrassed and hurt at myself for doing this. But genuinely, where does this even come from?

And I started a new relationship - 2 months in and I’m so so scared of ruining it like every other one. He is the sweetest most caring man I’ve ever met and I can’t let myself fuck this one up too ):