I have about 2 people that I talk to sometimes besides my fp/boyfriend. One of the 2 people used to be my best friend and like a sister to me but we drifted apart. But neither of them ever message me first anymore. They don't message me to ask how I'm doing or anything. The only real person I have and consider my best friend now is my boyfriend. I would like to think that I have someone other than him but I don't. I wish I had just one female friend that would value our friendship as much as i do. Someone I could hang out with and joke around with. But the problem is I don't even know how to make friends anymore. Every time I see someone I want to be friends with it's like I shut down and have too much anxiety to even try to start a conversation so I end up just lonely. Like I am tonight. At least I have my fp. I don't know what I would do without him. This is just me venting and looking pathetic so I'll probably delete this.