It's been a creeping urge recently, but it's getting stronger and stronger and is wildin right now. I want to sext basically every guy I know - even ones I'm not interested in. I went to sexualize myself and flirt with men I really shouldn't. I want to sleep around and just go insane. Guys I'm casually talking to on dating apps (with an end goal of dating) I want to make things super sexual with them. 

I know this isn't good for me. I know hookups only leave me feeling emptier, and I don't want to lead guys on that I'm not interested in. I don't want to make it seem like I want something/someone that I don't. 

I don't know what to do. I suppressed my sexuality for most of my life. I feel so ashamed in general about this, nevermind how pervasive it is. I guess I just want to feel like I'm good enough, interesting, attractive. But when I actually follow through - I don't feel those things. I feel used, worthless, and know I'm only attractive bc of my big tits, and not the rest of my obese body or even my personality. 

Help. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be like this. I don't know how to cope with this feelings bc they're newer symptoms for me bc I've suppressed this side of me for so long. 

Please help.