I’m going through a breakup right now where I am the one who messed it all up. I ruined the best thing that has ever happened to me. We broke up 2 weeks ago now and I still cry every day. I have no one around me that can possibly make me feel better and the only one who can make me feel better is him, and he has no intention of trying to work things out. I feel so alone. I feel so much pain in my body because of how sad I am. I have nothing to look forward too and nothing that matters. All my “close” friends go hangout with him still while I can’t and it just feels like a knife in my chest constantly that I can’t hangout with him or I can’t tell him how my day is or that I can’t go to sleep with him at night. I love him so much it hurts. It hurts so fucking much. I don’t think I will ever be able to move past this one. I’ve never felt so much pain. I would do anything to have him back. I can’t forgive myself for messing things up and I feel the pain of depression all the way through my fingertips and I feel the pain in my chest like I am burning alive from the inside out. I don’t know how to make the pain stop and the memory of him just shoves the knife deeper in my heart. I wish it would just end me honestly instead of suffering through my emotions that I can’t possibly make better. I don’t know how to handle it and I’ve never felt this horrible before. I started antidepressants and I hope it helps but otherwise I don’t know what else to do