I do two chores before i go to work in the morning. Ive made myself shower every day. I eat 3 meals a day. I try to hang with a friend once a week at least. I dont skip work. I take my vitamins. I go to the gym twice a week now.

Everyone says i just need to take care of myself and itll start to feel better... Im trying so hard. I feel guilty now when im not productive. But nothing has made me feel better. I feel like i deserve to be alone and die alone. I feel i should because i owe everyone that around me for being so terrible. 

I thought if i put in the work id see outcomes in how i feel