I am beating myself up always after any kind of conversation with anyone. Lots of fucking being scared of every possible outcome. I fucking doubt myself and get mad at me or someone else bc my fucking anxious turns into paranoia, and then anger.. I feel like lately I'm really losing myself in some way. I go to work in the morning I feel eh. By lunchtime I'm ficking lethargic and by the days over I'm either wanting to cry or I wanna isolate and I get "antisocial". (I know it's the wrong usage of the word) All this anxiety it's been slowly turning into depression and I guess I never realized till I was deep in "the shit" so to say. I'm scared and part of me wants to revert back to old ways, as an addict this whole thing is scary. I dont want my girlfriend or anyone really who I actually love yo find out. I know they love me but I dont want them worrying.