Some days are better than others but even on better days I feel so alone with my thoughts, emotions and feelings. Even in the company of family, friends and my relationship I feel like no one will ever understand me and I'm alone.

Maybe I should stop trying to be around people. Maybe I'll be better off alone because I always say or do the wrong thing. Or at least it always comes out the wrong way and I fuck everything up.

I care about the people close to me so much, but I come across passive aggressive, with no empathy  and I think I ruined my  relationship. 

It's 3am and I have extreme thoughts of self harm and that it would be easier for the people around me if i weren't here.

I just got into a DBT program that starts later this year but will it even help. I feel like I'll never be fixed. I'm so over this.