I live in a toxic household or we can say society. I’m depressed asf, suffered fucking traumatic childhood, &amp; suffering traumatic teenage. I’m in a deep need of therpy but i can’t take due to the household i live in. They don’t even know I’m depressed cause that make us mad if we tell we’re depresssed for them. Survived 3 sucide attempts. Currently have panick attacks, migraine, &amp; anxiety attack.
Have no friends. Literally 0. Always got replaced. In a relationship but my mental health ruins it too sometimes but thankful for him to be here for me. 
My own mum slutshame me for having friends, cant go outside with anyone else other then own family, cant talk to anyone online for therpy or on call. It hurts. But still holding on my life that someday it’ll end. I miss my dad too. He died due to heart attack. I was 11 when he passed away. Couldn’t get a good time with him due to 24/7 arugments with my mum. Sometimes i cry alot that my other siblings got to live their life with my dad mum happily. I’m the one who saw the hard time with them or maybe it was because of me. Life’s hard but god’s good.