I have lost so many friends because I’ve told people about my problems, in the end I just pretend to be happy. 

I force myself to get up and go to work, act like my life is perfect. I come home and just sit in front of the tv, no close friends so just chill on my own. I tell people I do this and that, my life is so boring I make stuff up just so people don’t think I’m weird. 

I sometimes make up scenarios in my head, what if I got run over, stabbed, someone broke into my home and killed me, would I be happier if I wasn’t here. 

If I could give my life to someone else that deserves it or is in need then I would. 

Nothing motivates me anymore and doesn’t matter how much I try, those negative thoughts won’t go away.