The think i raged for is attention, now i feel guilty and shame. i still feel in and out of this episode which is tiring and exhausting me. I Just want to connect with someone badly.

My last therapist didn't understand bpd and I'm not able to find anyone maybe i need to look more. 

I really tried not to have an FP but seeing some boys talk is making me feel lonely i feel like a loser crazy guy now. I've been obsessively reading and watching about BPD for past few days. I wish I can just have friends and not mess it up. Feel jealous or envious. I feel like I'm a big screw up. I didn't want to put myself down but here I'm. I don't intend to hurt others i just want attention.