first, im so sorry if this is the wrong sub!

for context, i have cptsd with bpd traits and she has bpd. ive been in therapy for a few years to address these symptoms and unfortunately due to a lack of support she only started seeing a therapist a couple months ago. i broke up with her a couple hours ago because we were both so toxic towards each other. i would split and end up making her feel guilty causing her to threaten suicide and self harm. i told her we will remain friends and hopefully get back together if we work on ourselves.

however i keep being told by my loved ones that a relationship between two borderline/people with borderline traits will never work and our emotions will feed off of each other. i dont want to hurt her, but i also dont want to say we will get back together.

i really do love her, but if theres really a low chance of us being in a healthy non dependent relationship i cant lie to her and say we are just on a break.

could anyone with knowledge or experience weigh in? i will seriously appreciate any help.