Even just trying to keep my head above water, holding onto the acceptable persona in order to keep the job in order to transfer every cheque I make over to bills. Whenever I have a chance to rest, I'm not really resting because my mind is racing through all the things still left to be done.

It's always suggested to use your time off the clock to do hobbies and activities that bring you joy, and while they do bring me some joy it just feels like more work, more chores. My time off, responsibly, should be used to prepare for my time on (laundry, dishes, cooking), so its a difficult balancing act of: do I go out and do this fun activity that will wear me out so I can feel some semblance of excitement and personality? Or do I focus on the back end catch up in order to be better prepared for the upcoming work week? Every day there is more and more to do and...simply put, I am tired. Life is wringing me rugged.

I have whiplash just from keeping it as basic and as simple as I can, meanwhile there are people doing extraordinary things without breaking a single sweat.