Not sure how much detail I'm going to go into but a certain member of my family has always been the one to bail me out of stuff and help me and support me when nobody else will. They're the reason I have the apartment I live in, the job I work at (they're the manager), and so much more. I'm a notorious flake and they cover my ass all the time. I'm always in financial trouble and they help me whenever they can. I completely lost it on them today.

My cat has had an ongoing illness that has been worsening and she's getting an ultrasound on monday to check for cancer so I'm really scared and nervous. When my family member texted me needing me to do something tomorrow for work if my cat seems stable enough, I just exploded. My emotion took over and I began raging about how these could be my last moments with my cat and how could they suggest I leave her and this and that, completely forgetting the work they've probably had to do to make sure I can take my cat to the vet over the last week and even paying for some of the vet bills. Forgetting that they're probably facing a ton of pressure from the business owners and they're just asking me to do -something-. Not even a full shift. 

I just feel conpletely rotten and I don't know what to do. They gave it to me pretty straight about how inconsiderate I was being lashing out at them, how much they stick their neck out for me and how I take it for granted, and I apologized, but it just doesn't feel like enough. I was really vicious toward them and now I feel that guilt *with* this fear for my cat's health. I suppose I should just sit with it and accept what I did, but I wanted to get it off my chest.