I struggle with bpd rage, like, really bad. I’d say it’s what makes the disorder the worst for me. I usually have 2-3 episodes a week that lead to self harm, reckless driving, or breaking something.

Today, I graduated college with a degree in English education. There was no ceremony, and I didn’t get pictures because I can’t afford to spend $50 on a cap and gown while I’m student teaching. This means that I will never have any sort of graduation ceremony because I studied abroad in Denmark my senior year. Partially my fault, I know. 

Well, I made a Facebook post to announce it, and got lots of great validation from my friends and family. Until I accidentally deleted it. That post felt like the only recognition I was getting for my 4 years of work, and now it’s just gone. 

I know it’s stupid, but I’m still upset. I hurt myself and tore up my room before I was able to calm down enough to write this. I keep embarrassing myself in front of my family but I just can’t stop.

I feel like nothing can ever fix this rage that’s always inside of me...