I was talking to a teammate that I've become closer to over the season and I said something along the lines of

"I am in so much pain right now,"

And she was like "Where?"

And dumbass me was like, "My mind,"

And then she was like "Oh, you have a headache?"

So I just said sure and moved on. 

Kind of wish she understood what I really meant. Or maybe she did and I made her uncomfortable. Guess we'll never know. 

Also, went to get my physical a couple of months ago with my self harm scars on my arm, and either my doctor didn't notice or care. Kind of thought that that would be the point where i could finally get help but didn't work out that way. 

I know I gotta ask directly to get help but at this point,  idk. It's hard.