I feel empty,numb,exhausted all the time and I can't fix it I was always the emotional support to the people around me and always the one everyone calls when they have a bad day and I love helping them but I can't do so to myself, I can't love myself and I always feel Down and I hide it and the few times I tried opening up I always get told you have to love yourself but I can't I tried but I can't help myself I can't cheer myself up and part of the reason I help the people around me is I don't want them feeling the way I do and I just can't take it I can't take this feeling anymore and life the past year has been very tough and each plan or hope I have is given to me then suddenly goes away and each time is more disappointing than the last each time I am told it will get better for me only to have things go south more than the last time around and I lost hope just let down and hanging around (Radiohead reference) and I can't go to therapy it's too expensive it sucks