To start off...

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Hello.  I'm a 40-year-old man, divorced with teenaged children.  I have a stable career, and love what I do for a living.    But something isn't right.    For years I kept coming up against a wall that this was just anger...  but I was pretty certain there was more to it.   

 I was doing some research about what my psychological issues might be, like life in general, has never felt quite right to me.    For the longest time, I thought this might be general anger combined with a mid-life crisis of some sort?

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I came upon the symptoms for BPD and it was like the light over my head went off, and the more I listened to trained psychiatrists, the more I felt like this is what I might have.    I'm not 100% convinced by any means, but it's what's made the most sense out of anything I've looked at.    So the world seems to feel a little brighter knowing that what I've been going through may have a name to it.

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I see a therapist through an online CBT website.   When I spoke to her about this, and her past interactions with me... she said that she sees where this might be the issue, but cannot give me an official diagnosis due to mental health laws in my state...   She encouraged me to see a psychiatrist to get an official diagnosis.  

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I'd love to hear from other men who may be experiencing this same issue.   We seem to be the vast minority who have this affliction.  

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  I'm curious how you cope with this?  How do you handle relationships with your loved one(s) without splitting, or getting angry, or feeling like you need to do something impulsive to fill the hole in your life?    What has worked for you, and what hasn't?    I'm open to hearing whatever you guys have to say.

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Thanks reddit!