Okay, so my SO suffers from borderline personality disorder, as well as alcohol issues and a traumatic past which would probably give a PTSD diagnosis. I am often calm and level headed, but when I'm stressed or upset by something that happened, moments where she self-splits or is just frusterated and venting to me can turn into a fight. I, myself, have fairly complex emotions and feel the need to express them
And talk about them in order to work through them - however, anytime I try and talk about what's stressing me out, no matter how calmly, she shuts down or gets really upset saying I'm guilting her. An incident happened recently where she got a little physical with me during an arguement (slapping, in relation to drinking alcohol), and I found out later that day that she had been unfaithful to some degree (we where not official, but had been obviously seeing each other - now we are 100% official) I am torn by these actions, and although I really want to work through this, anytime I try and talk about it she shuts down. Because of this, I have a lot of feelings still floating around in me, and when she got agitated yesterday (had nothing to do with me, despite her comments being aimed at me - something I can generally shrug off) I started to get upset and ended up bringing up the fight (mind you, this was only a week ago). What's worse is I ended up comparing her to an actual abuser (her last ex), which is not only incredibly insensitive, but should be taboo for anyone close to someone with BPD. I feel ashamed to have said what I did and regret it immensely. However I need to find a way to properly address conflict when it arises, as so it can be dealt with immediately, rather than at a time where I am emotionally stretched thin