will delete later

my parents raised me to be obedient and controlled me my whole life. i now have multiple diagnoses, bipolar being one of them, and have had 2 hospitalizations last year. and i’m 18. 

i had to argue to be allowed to go outside for my mental health and you can imagine how that went. now i do go outside although they dislike it and whenever i’m outside they sometimes pull at anything to get me to come back home frantically. one time it was a false alarm about my cat being weird (she wasn’t.). 

well, last night i came home at around 12. at 10, that’s when i got the text that since i wasn’t answering phone calls or texting back, my parents were calling the cops on me because they are worried about my safety and im off my meds. 

i still came home two hours later because did they expect me to rush home during a panic attack?? 

i always beg them not to call the cops and send me back to the ward. the week i got out, they almost called the cops and sent me back again for having an episode. i don’t have episodes where they impact others anymore they just impact me. so i don’t understand. they really used “off ur meds” to imply my mental illness is making me a danger to myself where i can’t come home at 4 pm like they want me to. 

now i’m only 18. but i don’t think i can escape my hospital record ever while i’m alive with my family. they will use any chance they get to send me back to the ward if i’m not listening to them.