im pretty sure a lot of people with bdp deal with this too but for me its pretty fucking common and its kind of become my trade mark 
i go through cycles of idealization and hatred and ive been with this person for 2 years we broke up more than 5 times but lets say that the most serious times we broke up like 3 times
last time was in july of this year and even though i said i wanted to stay friends i started to detach and hate this person yet again for a few months and thats why we dont talk now
and now i feel bad that i did that and now i miss them again 
im pretty sure they have a new girlfriend but i iust want this person to be in my life and fill that void that i have 
this person was not always great to me and i always focus on thise moments but the more i think about it the more i realize that they were there for me for a quite a lot of things and i just miss that and i miss everything 
i sent them a package containing a 7 page long letter and a badge i made for them 
i havent heard from them yet and idk if that pckage had arrived and im realy at my limit i sent it almost 2 weeks ago 
idk what i should do idk if i should just text them about the package or wait ...