My entire life I've always been made to feel like every decision I make is the wrong one. No matter what I did (and still do) it's like every choice made someone mad at me. So naturally as a result I second guess everything I do. I struggle with confidence so I find decisions terrifying and I don't feel capable of making good ones. Couple that with BPD and it's a recipe for disaster. I don't think I know who I am, I don't know what I like and don't like, I don't know what I want to do or where I want to live or anything. I have no clear goals, aspirations, or ideas of what I want. 

I always wish that someone would literally just sit me down and read me a list of the things they've planned for my life. I wish that they'd outline all the steps and then help me with them. I just don't know what it's like to feel confident in making decisions. I would do anything for a fucking wizard to just come out of the sky and tell me what to do. I feel so lost.