So like I said I think my (25f) bf (26m) might have bpd. I’ve been thinking for a while he has npd, but when I brought it up to him he agreed there is something and he agreed to go to therapy. Which doesn’t match up with npd. And I’ve been researching about both and read that the two can often get mixed up and kind of on a spectrum, but I’m starting to see more of the bpd traits (fear of abandonment, intense emotions, self harm etc).

Now that this has hit me today like a brick, I’m a bit triggered because I was stuck in an extremely abusive relationship with someone that had very severe bpd for over 6 years and it took so long and was so hard to escape and get away and stay away.

My current bf is obviously no where near as bad as my ex but I guess my mind is just racing now. I suffer really bad from PTSD from my ex and previous sexual abuse and other childhood traumas, and I feel so shocked I didn’t see this earlier because I feel like I know bpd so well that I know it better than myself… maybe I didn’t want to see it? What do I do? I feel I should I tell him I think it might be bpd not npd. Not that I’m trying to diagnose him, I just want him to be selfaware and get the right therapy and work on himself and be better (which he wants to). Idk what I’m asking here tbh… I just need support? I really don’t want to break up because our relationship is so great, it’s just mostly him learning how to manage his intense emotions when those moments do come up.. but I also feel very triggered and scared now and don’t want to be doing tho whole “waiting for them to get better” thing like I did for 6 years last time and it only got so much worse….