hi guys, I’m really not doing okay. I feel as though I am slipping back into the black hole. I feel empty, worthless, ugly, and just a pathetic person. I feel a lot of sadness but mostly just emptiness and loneliness. I hate everything about myself. 

My severe anxiety and depression has increased a lot again, so I’ve isolated myself for months now, haven’t seen a friend in months(although I only have one close friend), I’ve pushed everyone close to me away because I don’t feel worthy to have anyone in my life. 

each day is a constant battle &amp; i just feel like this will be the death of me. I started self harming a lot again, which I had stopped for a few months but, I’m doing it a lot again. I’m doing anything to numb this pain I am in every single day &amp; I don’t see a way out. 

I had to stop seeing my DBT therapist for a couple months, but I have an appt Friday. 

I just hate this. I try to vent to my sisters, but them hearing me talk about this sad stuff makes them upset. I feel so done with this world, all I’ve known is pain, abandonment and hurt. 

I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, the way I feel everyday. It ruins me, every relationship in my life, it’s just the hardest thing to live with.