This may not seem like a big problem, but I sincerely hope some of you can relate. This has become very big issue and I can't cope. 


I have a big problem saying no to people which results in me being regarded as a well liked person. Part of me absolutely despises myself for it. I am not a nice person at all, I am just very conflict avoident. Furthermore I'm an introvert whose main priority is to be invisible and anonymous. Sometimes I talk to people, mostly I don't. That's how I like it.

There's this coffee shop I like to be at. Everybody just minds their own business but is generally friendly. If you frequent a place a lot, you become a regular and people start talking to you. Now I've made the stupid mistake of having a couple of conversations with some old guy there who is obviously very lonely. He now thinks I am his friend. I've proudly held off any of his invitations to diner, but that makes other matters worse. If you turn down big stuff, you can do little stuff, like smoke a cigarette together, right?

My BPD-symptoms are all over the place. I feel like he feels some entitlement over me. Every time I am there, I feel he claims my time and attention. I don't want to talk to him anymore whatsoever. Ignoring him is equivalent to claiming my time, because he's just sitting waiting for me to have a talk. I absolutely hate him and myself for it. I dread going to that place, but it was MY hangout. I don't want to give it up. If I go there, I cry because I am so stressed the entire time. If I leave or don't go because of him, I get so enraged I disassociate and/or selfharm. I am so angry with myself for not keeping my stupid mouth shut, for ruining things for myself, that I cut myself pretty badly already. I don't want this to progress. I need this to stop.

This is not the first time this has happened. This is how I stopped going to the gym (people started talking to me and I felt obligated to talk to them every time they wanted to talk to me), stopped going everywhere I liked to go regularly, basically. 

How do I stop this. What do I do?