Hey guys. I know there are subreddits dedicated to non-bpd partners in a relationship with someone with bpd, but for christ sakes i don’t hate her i just want to help her come down when she’s having an episode. I know there’s gotta be a right way to do it and, just speaking  from my personal experience with this one person, staying calm and trying to either create space (in order to come back and talk about it when we’re more clear-headed) or trying to discuss logically is like throwing gas on a bonfire. I figure maybe the best people to be ask about deescalation are probably the people that have been in my friend’s place. I suspect she knows what she wants from me but either can’t bring herself to say it, or maybe she really doesn’t know. The trigger was her feeling like i was distant when we spent time together.