I've destroyed literally every close relationship I've had. The only way to keep one going is if I'm not entirely honest. My "best friend" and I have only lived in the same place for about 4 months, other than that we only visit each other and text/talk on the phone. If she doesn't text me for a few days I begin to despise her. 

I am cute, smart, and very sexual, and can be charming, so I pretty much always get the attention I seek in the form of intense romantic/sexual relationships. But I always hate these people after a few weeks or months (at most). Like truly become revolted by them and think they deserve to die. 

I'm so angry with myself and fucking exhausted. I did the same thing with therapist who diagnosed me with BPD-- although he told me "not to think of it as a diagnosis" but just that I met the criteria-- still don't really understand this. I wanted his attention and wanted to sleep with him, until he missed a couple of appointments and missed some of my concerns, at which point I decided he was a piece of shit. All the sexual trauma I had tried to discuss with him came flooding back and I knew I could never trust him or any therapist. With some of my more distant friends, I've been able to anticipate my eventual disgust with them and never let them get close enough for this to happen.

What is a good way to approach relationships to prevent this/is that even possible? Am I just never going to be able to have intimate and honest relationships?