i’ve been seeing this guy for just over a month now. the most healthy, fun, balanced “relationship” with a man i’ve ever had (relationship in quotes because we haven’t made it official yet, though we are exclusive). just saw that he liked an ex flings selfie on twitter, one that i know he has some level of contact with still as they are friends.  now i want to d*e. cut him off, block him on everything and literally d*e. i know it’s a disproportionate reaction. he has done absolutely NOTHING to make me distrust him. it’s just a like. on a selfie. but i’ve felt sick to my stomach all day. he’s been messaging me normally to no response because i just can’t bring myself to talk to him as if nothings wrong. which i mean, there isn’t anything wrong. he hasn’t actually *done* anything (i don’t think? i don’t know. i have trouble distinguishing actual threats from harmless bullshit because ya know. BPD.)

i also cannot stop comparing myself to this girl - it’s not even the physical. it’s everything else, on top of knowing they’re still friends. he even has stuff she made him still hung up in his room. they were friends before dating and remained friends after they stopped. 

this is gonna devolve into me just listing all of my paranoias if i keep typing but long story short. dating with bpd sucks ass.