I've been needing to speak to my doctor about changing my medication because it's not doing anything for me and I've been having more and more crisis days than usual. My anxiety is going through the roof recently and I feel like i'm just constantly in the midst of a panic attack. 

So the doctors appointment was pretty fucking necessary, right???

My gp has lost a doctor and because of that, they're fully booked for the next 2 months. I KNOW this. The appointment today was the nearest available in MARCH. I NEED HELP. AND I DIDN'T TAKE IT. 

I hate myself more than i can describe right now. I just wish I could be healthy and normal.