I’m newly diagnosed BPD… have Type 2 Bipolar as well. I fit most characteristics of BPD and recently had a falling out with who I thought was my best friend but now I’m realizing was my “FP” or whatever you want to call it. After reading through this thread I see a lot of people don’t like the term and understand why… but thats for another discussion. 

Anyways, I miss her SO much and no one understands why. I don’t even understand why. She treated me like disposable trash, going no contact 6 months ago and completely cutting me out everywhere. I think she knew I had BPD (reached out to my husband once about it). Which angers me because she knew how much “abandoning” me would hurt me. She knows a lot about mental health diagnoses and struggles herself with her own conditions. So now I know that my reliance on her wasn’t sustainable because she doesn’t have the emotional capacity to take on what I needed. Basically I’m aware I need to let the relationship go… she has. But it’s SO hard. And I’m mad I’m still struggling so much so long after she cut me out. 

How do you get over an FP? My happiness literally revolved around her. I would of literally done anything for her. And now that she’s out of my life I just feel so lost and sad and worthless. I am constantly triggered when I see or am reminded of her and us. I’m married so it puts strain on that relationship as well. My husband doesn’t like her because he saw how much she hurt me. So I don’t like bringing her up to him. 

Lastly, I run marathons and she used to be a running coach and mentor for me. So now it’s hard for me to disassociate my training with my intense emotions of losing her. I feel like I wasn’t enough of a person or an athlete and that’s why she cut me out of her life. 

Basically I’m just struggling a lot with this. Any help/tips/support is appreciated.