I've (26, F) been struggling with BPD and PTSD for my entire life. Most people in my (estranged) family have BPD. Both my parents have it. My mom is an orphan, who is now in a permanent facility because her BPD has gotten to the point where she doesn't remember most of her life and she's constantly delusional. My dad was a single father with BPD and narcissistic personality, and he isolated me from the world. I wasn't allowed to do anything or go anywhere, I never went to a friend's house as a kid, or had friends come over, even my own cousins weren't allowed to stay over and I couldn't stay over with them. I never talked to a cashier or anything. My dad always told me strangers were out to get me and got mad when I would be friendly. When I ran away from home at 17, I ended up moving in/becoming trapped with an older man, who i would marry. Who ALSO had BPD and schizophrenia, I would literally spend years in fear because my husband was so insane. He believed he was a Messiah and he was so smart sounding, that everyone was on his side, always. I stayed isolated even after getting away from my dad because I had a new captor. I'm so socially inept now as an adult and I have no close friends, or anyone to confide in. I escaped my husband last year. I have a partner now but my mental illness is extremely triggering to him and he gets angry when I tell him about my struggling mental health. I'm making this post because I became very delusional last night, wide eyed all night, no sleep, just fighting the strong impulse to JUST GO. I'm sure that some understand that impulse I mean. I'm just so desperate to vent. I hope someone reads this, I'm at my wit's end 😢