I love myself, and I’m happy where I’m at, but sometimes I just get so tired of putting up a fight with this fucking disorder. I’m tired of thinking that every time he takes a while to text me back it’s because that’s a sign he’s going to abandon me without saying anything like my mother did. I hate feeling this way. I trust him so fucking much and I’m ready to trust him because I finally love myself enough to the point where where I want to show someone the real me, but why can’t I just be fucking happy? Why can’t I just be okay with some space? Why can’t I just be normal? I know that I am good enough, and despite all the shit that ails me, I am special. It just fucking hurts. 