I’ve felt terrible lately. I’ve been struggling with depression for awhile, but I’ve had no diagnosis or therapist. I don’t like asking for help, never have, so I’ve dealt with it myself for awhile. 

But nowadays all I do is sleep and play games, and the games usually aren’t very fun anyways. Every day all day I constantly think of how to end myself without people thinking of it being a suicide. 

I’ve considered self harm to maybe get someone to notice in some non-direct way, but I can’t bring myself to do it. On top of all of this I can’t even cry, be sad, or do anything at all. 

I don’t know what I’m looking for by posting this. I don’t know if I want help or just people to vent to but im gonna post this anyways. Maybe something good will come out of it. 

I think all I really want is to finally cry and sob or make any indication that something is wrong. Just acknowledge it in any way to myself.