i have had anxiety since forever. i cannot remember a single day in my life where i didn't have to deal with anxious thoughts or panic attacks. always was one or the other. but recently, it has got pretty bad. from doomsday anxiety (that i've had since i was a kid) to social anxiety, to panic of something happening to my pets or my family, or climate change anxiety.
this has gotten on the way of friendships, relationships, college assignments, or even every day functions. i can't enjoy things like a rainy day (which i used to love), being alone at home, watching a thunderstorm, watching new tv shows or even go out to have tea alone. i can't. and when i do go out, i feel weird, and i wanna get home as soon as possible as if something bad will happen. but nothing ever happens. never.
when a storm comes (a literal one), i always have pannic attacks. cause i always think the end of the world is coming. i can't hear a thunderstorm. i can't dance on the rain. and i can't be alone at one. never.
when i'm out of the house alone, i fear something will happen to my pets. or my family. or me. right now i'm at a party and i can't wait to get home to my kitties to make sure they're ok. and i don't know how i'm keeping my cool right now.
when i see the news, i fear of the end of the world. i fear that my time is limited, and that i will not accomplish any of the things i set my mind into. at the point that i stop being a functional human being for a few hours.
it's like i'm on stand by, always feeling a bad thing coming, but it never comes. and i've been on stand by for a very long time. and i'm tired of it, but i genuinely don't know what to do. and i feel like this fear will never go away.

pd. sorry if my english is a bit rough, it's my second language