I never felt horrible in my life. I have some years on pills on and off and every time is the same scenario. I fell in love first time in my life kinda serious and this girl is like my version but has some issues too....today I had almost a breakdown and was sure I was going to die by suicide because I wanted to cut my hand the first time. Everything is complicated and I need a reason to stay alive. Can someone tell me some words of support? Pls, I really struggle and nobody cares about me in my life, I can't cope anymore...