 Hi! I'm a 15 yo male and when I was at the age of 2, my parents got a divorce and my mother got custody over me. I would see my father very often but, at the same time, my mother was having a boyfriend and we moved in with him. She had two more boyfriends later on ( not at the same time) and I was a little bit annoyed by it. When I was 10-11 years old we moved to the neighbouring country (let's name it "Country B"),  because we lived in Eastern-Europe and my mother had 3 jobs to get a total of 500$ a month. Life was a little bit tough and my mother let that out on me with physical harm ( she once hit me with a book so hard that I smashed my head onto the table. Another time she was beating me with a music book and I peed myself because of the constant beating. Easy to say, it left me with some traumas)


 So we moved and I started getting bullied in school because I was born in my home country ( let's call it "Country A"). I switched schools and had to face the same treatment. This went on for 2 years, when my mother found somebody online with whom she started dating and eventually we all moved in. This guy was Western-European and I'm not trying to bad-mouth abt my mother, but I think that she was hoping for a greater life.

  2 more years in this new city in Country B and in this 2 years I started getting depressed and very melancholic, since I never really had many friends, because of all of the moving. I told my mother that I would like to seek a therapist but she told me and I quote: "You don't need a therapist, you just need a few slaps and you'll be just fine!".

  My mother's boyfriend was the one putting food on the table so with that he also set up many restrictions for me, which I was having a hard time living with. He wasn't the nicest to me and many times in arguments would say hurtful things like: "I only help you with school because you're the son of my fiance and if you fail, then you'll make your mother/my fiance sad and that will damage our relationship." 

  But then the unthinkable happens: they get engaged, expect a child and 1 month after my sister was born, we moved to my step-father's country ( "Country C"). Ofc, without asking my opinion about it. I didn't have a say in many things, not even if it was related to me.

  So here, in Country C, I started having real issues with the immigrants in my school, because they always wanted to pick a fight with me and always bullied me. We had many fights, but none of those fights got serious. Many times they left me with bruises but that's it. 

  I was having a hard time adapting to the new class, following the rules at home and fulfilling the expectations of the overly-pushy teachers from Country C. Keep in mind I had to study with no help from teachers, since they were unreachable, for the school from Country B as a private student and attend school in Country C as well. So it was very stressful and I told my mother and her fiance, but they wouldn't listen. 

  So a month ago I had a huge fight with my mother about my future, since moving to Western-Europe messed up my original plan of finishing Highschool in Country B and also going to University in Country B. I told her that I cannot study without a teacher and that I will fail both schools, since it's too hard for me to work with both and I cannot prioritize one over the other, because the shame would be too much for me to bare. - Failing a year sounds super scary to me. Makes me feel like my whole Resume will look like shit - I told my mother, in a fit of rage, that I want to move back to Country B ( to the city where we moved when she met her now fiance). She told me that we cannot, so I said to her "No no no, I either move there with my father ( who still lives in Country A) or alone and live in a dormitory". This pissed her of and she called me a dickhead and that she didn't raise a bastard. She told me that I was ambitionless and that  I was being childish. 

   The aftermath of the argument was that now my, so called, depression has gone to the point where I injure myself with a cutter and as of lately, I started vaping too.

  The end of may is approaching and in June my mother will be paying (with her fiance's/my stepfather's money) a stay for a month in Country B, for me to take my exams and it's a lot of money. This and the fact that we will skip my stepfather's birthday gives me a lot of pressure and I just can't take it all. 

  My summer is going to be me bouncing from here to there, going to my old cities and also moving to a new city in Country C in the meantime.

   I really question myself if going back to Country B is the right choice or not. I also found someone who I love there, which is one of the reasons for my urge to move there, but mostly: it's for my future. I want to build a healthier social-life, a nicer stable place and I want to achieve my dream of making my own video game.

.

   So with that all said... I think i need help.