I dont understand where this is coming from. I thought I had a okayish childhood.

I thought this kind of behaviour was normal. But now that I think about it, I guess its not normal to have anxiety so high I might even hurt myself. And focusing to work, school, books...basically to anything? LITERALLY impossible.

I'm having insane level of anxiety right now because the woman I talk to said she was gonna text me today, its almost midnight, and she hasnt texted. My brain is bombarding my mind with thoughts like "She hates you", "She is abandoning you like everyone else", "She thinks you are stupid" etc.

I just cant fucking live like this, not anymore. I just cant take this.