First of all, I apologize for my English, but I need to express what I feel. I'm not going through a good time, let's say it's lasting more years than it should... I've practically been depressed since I was 16, lost in life and with no reason to continue in it. At the age of 18 I was diagnosed with cancer and it seemed like the perfect excuse to disappear if I was lucky enough to die from the disease without having to resort to suicide. But unfortunately I was cured and today, years later I'm still the same, I feel more and more alone because people who were important to me have been moving away from my life, and I'm not motivated in anything I do. I don't have long-term plans, I don't see myself having an adult life, having a house or a family, all I want is for everything to end and I'm not capable of committing suicide. No one knows this about me, not even my close friends, and I felt the need to drop it somewhere.