I received an official diagnosis approximately a week ago as I was involuntarily admitted to a psych hospital for a week. I'm still accepting it, and frankly don't believe it. I've been reading posts on here and it seems a common theme is not enjoying life or activities. I enjoy a lot of aspects of my life and I regularly participate in outdoor activities. Aside from that I have found many similarities including monstrous mood swings, black and white emotions (I can't be slightly upset, only furious, I'm not happy I'm elated), it's impossible for me to maintain a normal relationship, hourly suicidal thoughts even if I'm enjoying the activity, the thought of rejection and abandonment causes disruption in my life, and I disassociate. I have been asked even mid conversation, "why are you looking at me like a deer in headlights". Just wanted to introduce myself to the community. I am a 30 year old African American female. 