I would like to start that I do not want to kill myself ( but I feel like I could be heading that way ) although I wish my life would just end. I do t like feeling this way. Alot of people would say I have a good life, but I am not happy. I am going to be 40 in a few months and I am not happy with my life. Nothing I try to do to improve my life ever works act. I am incredibly average, nothing about me stands out and I am never noticed. I would like to get help but I feel like people would look at me like I'm lieing and just dismiss me. In my younger days I did self harm , my parents did confront me I denied it and it was just brushed away. I eventually stopped ,but scars remain and every time I look at them it is tempting but I figure what's the point no one cared when I did it before. Just cause I have a so called good poeple think I am ok and just having a bad day. My family relies on my when I feel like I cant even rely on myself.