I’m 22f
My bf is 22

My man and I have been together for 5 years. These past 9 months we’ve been long distance for the first time. We’ve seen each other for a total of maybe 2 hours in that time. Our phone time is limited. He’s coming back home at the end of this month. I’m so scared. I love him endlessly. I always have. I’ve always pictured a future with him.

I can’t tell if the fact that I’m an in person connection type of love is what is causing me to feel like the love is dying? I know he loves me, wants to marry, have kids, and so on. 

He might have to be gone for even longer this time. And relatively soon. Like next month soon…when he literally gets home at the end of October. And by longer I mean like possibly a year, or 2, 3, 4, 5? I don’t know yet. 

Should I wait for him if he has to leave for years? Even a year? I know I love him but I just want a happy life. Not a life of what ifs and what could’ve been. This has kept me up every night of October so far. Pure anxiety.

Hate the thought of leaving something that could’ve been so good if I would’ve just given it time.

Hate the thought of not going for something that could’ve been everything I’ve ever dreamed of and possibly more. 

Hate the thought of the unknown.

If I had a 🧞‍♀️ genie, I’d wish to see the path of these two specific paths I could go.