hi. i have a mental illness. it lies, fights dirty, and tries to kill me at every turn. it sucks but the illness lies. i am not fat. i am not a bad person. i am not stupid. i am not worthless. my friends don't hate me. i think i know these things deep down but it's still hard to believe. right now i am alive. i have been staying alive all my life. i have won every battle. sure the monsters will come back but i will defeat them again. i am alive. that's all that matters. that is more than what some people can say. i am not alone. there are thousands suffering besides me. and we will not give up. we will reach for the surface until we reach it then we will stay to pull others up too. and who knows, maybe one day we can defeat all the monsters. i just want to say how proud i am of you. through all the bullshit, through all the trauma or bad days, you are still alive. and that is the most incredible, more important thing. thank you so much for fighting with me and i can't wait to see you on the other side.