That feeling like there's nothing inside of you, you're not a valid human, you have no emotions, total apathy, at the same time despair and psychic pain and you just desperately want to die. How do you cope?

I especially struggle because I have no interests or hobbies and don't have a job, because it's so debilitating. I've tried to find interests and tried a bunch of hobbies but never could care enough about any of them to stick with them.