Trigger warning maybe?

I feel utterly alone. Had a dissociation episode a few days ago now, and I have never felt so isolated. I keep getting suicidal even though I know this is just a small phase, I've dealt with this many times before. 

What does dissociation feel like to you? How often do you have to push through these episodes? What are your coping mechanisms? 

My reality disappears and I feel very stuck. I feel disconnected from everything. I get into a state of panic. This is actually a psychotic episode due to ptsd but I get slapped with the dissociation and It's hard to control. I was bright and happy last week. Now feeling "gone". I hate when this happens. I'm so used to these events now. 

I want to feel less alone in knowing that other people get through these moments and experience possibly similar things and get motivated to keep my head up. Please share with me. 

Also, are there other subreddits that are very supportive and helpful for this kind of thing? I have ADHD also so those groups really helped with support in that area