It sucks that I can't tell if things are just in my head or if they're really happening. I'll be convinced that someone is clearly treating me differently. Differently than how we've interacted before. Differently than how they're treating everyone else. And I'll go through a spiral of where I went wrong and why I'm not liked anymore. I hate how obssessive and annoying I feel when I get so worked up about this. I just want to feel the same way others feel about me for once. I've always been below everyone else and I'm always the second choice. I try my best, I really do. I care about my friends more than anything.

But then there's always the question of whether this is just me being too sensitive and misinterpreting things. I can't tell what's really happening and what's not anymore. "Am I just exaggerating things or am I right?". I hate having to be this way. Not knowing whether it's okay to be feeling what I'm feeling. 

I'm so tired of having BPD. And I hate this negative stigma around BPD. I've told people I regret telling. And now it just feels like they have another reason to hate me.