So I started dating this guy, never thought I would ever date again, and my emotions are so jacked up. He told me he was gonna be busy last weekend with his brother. None of my messages went through to him, I then freak out assume he hates me and has blocked me. I then spend the weekend self harming. Went to work and cried for like 2 hours. I was such a mess. Later on that evening he messages me and said his phone died. He replied to my 101 anxious text messages begging him not to leave me. Honestly, I’m surprised he didn’t just say “damn she’s so fucked up. I’m not down for this”. I thought I was getting better but relationships are still incredibly hard for me. This is the first guy who wants to be in a relationship with me. 

How do I not fuck this up. I’m trying to pause and evaluate my emotions before responding. But when I’m with him and he says things I feel like lashing out. Even though he’s a sweet heart and doesn’t deserve that.