So, here is a little info about me...I am a 38M and have been suffering from anxiety. I was diagnosed with GAD 2 years ago. My anxiety is completely manifested in physical symptoms: chest tightness, headache, rapid heart beat, palpitations, and short of breath. Before these symptoms start, I usually feel great. Nothing specifically to make me feel anxious, nothing much on my mind...but then these physical symptoms start and I spiral. I think I'm having a heart attack or dying. This is when the intrusive thoughts start and I cannot get them to stop. I also have spells where when I am trying to sleep, I feel like my heart will beat out of my chest and like I cannot breathe. 

I also have hypertension and Type 2 Diabetes. The diabetes is controlled with diet and medicine and the high blood pressure is getting under control (it has gotten worse in the past month, but earlier was controlled through diet and exercise). 

As for medication, I was put on 5mg Zoloft and absolutely hated it. I lasted about 2 weeks and had the worst anxiety I have ever had in my life. I was sweating constantly, rapid heart beat, paranoid, and brain zaps. I talked to my doctor and stopped taking it. I was prescribed .25mg Xanax for emergencies. When I take it, it helps and I can relax and sleep. Most of the time I split my .25mg in half and it works to take the edge off. I maybe use it 2x a week...some weeks not at all...some weeks more. Depends on the week.  I take Metoprolol 2x a day which definitely helps with the rapid heart beat and palpitations. I also take a supplement called Wellpath Zen. No clue if the supplement does anything, but figured it cannot hurt. 

When I go to the doctor about the physical symptoms, they say it is caused by anxiety. I feel like the physical symptoms cause my anxiety. If I didn't feel like I was constantly dying of a heart attack, I don't think I would feel so damn anxious all of the time. I do not have any social anxiety and when bad stuff happens, I seem to be able to handle it without getting anxious. When the doctor currently asks what's stressing me out, I just gesture wildly at everything going on right now (pandemic, dad almost died from covid, work sucks, can't hug my family, etc. ). 

My doctor has suggested Buspar. I am hesitant because of the bad side affects I had on Zoloft. I guess I am curious if anyone out there has a similar type of anxiety. If so, what has helped? Am I alone in feeling like the physical symptom are the cause of my anxiety and not the other way around?  Anyone willing to let me know that I am not alone and that eventually I can get better?