
I have never cared about anyone the way I care about the girl that is currently in my life. Maybe I place too much stock in my warped perception, or maybe I am just too insecure, but I feel as though I am not what she wants or needs. I have always sought out ways to be a better man by observing my life and thinking about where I’ve gone wrong, or what I could’ve done better, but I never seem to be enough. I’m always a mark or two short of who I need to be in order to achieve what I want to achieve. I understand that my efforts don’t entitle me to anything, but at times I wonder if I am not just spinning in place here — if my actions are becoming irrelevant to the outcome. I like to think I have come to improve myself over the years, but as I stumble over my words and defeat my actions with them I cannot help but question my progress. I cannot help but question if I’ve just let myself down, and the person I love so so much. If I have, I am sorry.