Basically i’ve been doing pretty good for a while! I’ve been able to manage my mood a bit better, feel somewhat stable and can control my anger a lot better which was horrible before.

However, earlier today I was boiling water and while I was pouring it I suddenly realized my hand was in pain and water was splashing everywhere. I had somehow completely dissociated I suppose and spilled hot water and burnt myself. I understand dissociation is common amongst BPD, it’s just that the same thing happened again later while trying to make to tea. I thought what if this was some inner demon trying to harm me since i’d been doing well and hadn’t harmed in a while!

But now that i’m sitting here actually writing this down, i’m thinking maybe i’m just crazy and don’t know how to pay attention to what i’m doing, and mess up a lot lol and need help lol.