almost 4 years ago was i admitted to the hospital for the first time. i hated it there, but by my third stay i finally made a very small amount of progress. now, years later, i know my diagnosis and have a support system, and i am nowhere near as depressed as i was then. however, i still feel really depressed and hopeless all the time. i have taught myself to ignore it, and i’ve accepted that this is how i’ll always be. but some days get worse than others and i just feel so stuck in this loop. i have made so much progress, i can’t end up where i was 4 years ago. sometimes i think i need to go back to residential again, but that would mess up my entire life for the next few years. i don’t want to die, and i haven’t felt suicidal in years, but i can’t live a happy life. it’s impossible. does anyone else feel similar at all?