I guess I have always been anxious in general, socially to even though that I have mostly overcome. 
But I am guessing this pandemic pushed me out of control. At the start of the year I quit my very stressful job to pursue my dream of doing something creative and started learning graphic design and programming to someday be freelance website designer. 
I have some limited success - a few clients I have made static websites for. However I still need to learn quite a bit to be able to be truly professional and I thought I could do that if I put effort consistently.
However my country has been hit very hard and we have to stay at home, with horrible statistics coming all the time and with my bf who has his company and doesn’t really need to work anymore. So he just plays games next to me all the time and goes to sleep at random hours. Needless to say I haven’t been able to have any normal routine for the last 3 months, I feel like a loser for not having a job and as if my dreams are slipping away from the fingers.
I guess all these feelings piled up when I had to spend Christmas alone without my family and all the physical symptoms of anxiety manifested. I feel my heart pounding, my breaths are shalow, my feet and hands tingly and sweaty, I can barely sleep with these symptoms.
I thought something was wrong with my health so I called my doctor and from the symptoms she said it’s most likely it’s generelised anxiety and gave me sedative for the nights and I can’t believe I did this to myself and I don’t know how will I have to live with this. Will these symptoms ever go away?