Ever since i was in my teens i struggled with depression, severe social anxiety, and very socially awkward. All i wanted to be a normal guy with a decent talent that have a girlfriend or wife. I have absolutely no fucking talent at anything. I have been rejected, laughed at, taking advantage of for being nice and called names by girls i had a crush on in high school.

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I was bullied and it still haunts me this day at 23 years old not standing up for myself so i didn't get expelled. I wish i didn't give a fuck about those rules and just said fuck those rules and cave the fucking bullies skull in. I regret not going to college, i regret being the dumbass that i am not getting my drivers lisense when i had the chance.

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I regret not being braver to approach the girls i liked and not having the social skills to actually have a girl i liked to actually want me, and maybe i wouldn't be a 23 year old kissless, dateless virgin. I feel pornography plays a role in why i was so fucked up mentally in my teens ( i am trying to overcome porn and am on a streak of a week so far), but you know what FUCK porn! It ruined my life and robbed me of a good childhood. I curse the day my dumbass as a kid first laid eyes on it, and only if i knew the long term effects it would have. FUCK PORN!!

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It is hard for me to get a job due to having no job experience and making the major mistake of taking a couple of gap years off but then this damn virus showed up out of nowhere and fucked everything up as soon as i was about to get a job.

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2 years later, for 3 months straight i have been trying to get a job, and due to no transportation the job must be on a schedule that aligns with my parents job so i can get picked up but so far at every step of the way i have failed at actually aquiring a job. Everything is so damn hard for me and i fail at everything. I wouldn't wish my worst enemy to experience the soul crushing failures, and embarassments i have in my life. I know posting this won't change a damn thing, but fuck it.

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I feel like a worthless sack of shit, with no purpose in life, and wish i was someone else instead of this loser i am now.