talking with anyone, maintaining any friendships, any of that it's just more tiring than you could imagine.. like feeling paranoid about every little thing, whether they like you or hate you, a constant fear of the time they'll finally move on and forget about you..

all that pain is why i sometimes avoid friendships and yet..being alone a lot is just as unbearable. are our existences just cursed..?? i feel like there's no way out.. :'(