Not sure what to say but Ive always struggled with codependency, and despite knowing that things were soon to be doomed between me and my ex, considering he was always too busy to text me let alone meet (we didnt meet even once in the last 2 months) I felt so unloved yet stayed due to codependency. I wish I couldve left but I had so much hope that he would come back &amp; love me. Until I found out he cheated on me with his ex.  

He lied so much, I think I am absolutely shocked. Not sure what got into me but I relapsed and started to cuss at him, call him names. It scares me that I am capable of such anger. 

What hurts most is when he compared me to his ex saying "I love her genuinely, not you." and "You never made me happy" I dont underatand, if I never did why did he stay? instead of having to lie and cheat. 

My self esteem that I built through DBT are all at a downfall, I feel so empty and Im not sure where to go with this. please recommend me some books that you found helpful during a tough time you experienced like this, would be helpful