I hate this i hate feeling and i hate feeling sad 
I'm good and so happy now and all of a sudden i'm so fucking sad and crying! And the pain is always so so much that i actually feel pain in my heart and body 
It's just too much to live with i'm so tired
Every time i'm happy i don't think of anything like my life is perfect and every time i'm sad i think of every damn sad thing that had every happened to me and everything feels unbearable ! 
And i hate that i feel guilty for being that sad for no reason!!! And i hate feeling happy afterwards because i know it won't last !!! 
I wish i can just shut it all of it's just so hard for me and everyone around me 
I don't even know if this will reach anyone i just need to talk knowing that someone might be listening