I'm so fucking done with life and have been for years, and contrary to what everyone has always tried to convince me of, it doesn't get better. Newsflash: it only gets worse.

I hate that I have no control over ending my life. I can't call it quits on my own terms. Other people have decided for me that I have to keep living in this hell. 

I'm scared of fucking up my suicide attempt (again), so I'm stuck. I wish I had access to a gun so I could paint my ceiling red with zero chance of surviving.

it's so fucking unfair that you can't end your life in a clean way if you want to. And trust me, I do want to. So fucking bad.

Also, no one can you give you any advice on how to commit suicide, because that implies that they were also unsuccessful in doing so. Only the dead could give you advice... If only they could. Fuck this shit.