I don't know if it's just because I'm a musician (albeit a bad one), but whenever an episode sets in, I have this one song that I always listen to only in those moments. Namely, [A Plague of Lighthouse Keepers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ycgdj74oNwc) by Van Der Graaf Generator. 

It seems to encompass how BPD feels for me, lonely and chaotic. Oddly enough, I can't listen to it unless I'm having an episode.  The opposite is true for another song though, [Two Hearts in 3/4 Time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmfWqnjgb8s) by The Avalanches. I can't bring myself to play it unless I'm in an ecstatically good mood, an anti-episode, if you will. Which only occurs very rarely. 

I seem to share the same behaviors with a lot of you guys so I was just wondering if anyone else experiences the same thing.  