One of the few things I knew for certain was that I was going to go to college.

At 11 I was having meltdowns and tantrums over how I was going to pay for college and get in.

At 13 throwing away all of my art supplies because “it won’t do me any good, I need to focus on school”

At 15 taking extra math, I took 2 fucking math classes in the same semester. Filling my schedule with only stem and or required classes.

These are all just to give you an idea of how fucking school driven, obsessed and centered I was. It was probably the only stable thing about my identity.

I get into college, my tuition is covered. Just no dorms or books/meals were covered.

So I commute 45min one way, but it sucks…. And I’m so scared of failing. 
then there’s a boy and I drop out.

Now I’m 22. My peers are graduated or graduating now.

I feel like shit. I don’t know where to go.