Okay, so I know this a very specific question but I still hope sb can give me an advice.

So I’m still in love with my old fp. I always was. Since the first time we met over an year ago. I know she never saw me this way, because she always had/has a partner. 
She abandoned me 3 months ago. 

Now I found a new fp. We have met 2 months ago and over the curse of the last few weeks we grew closer. We already wrote one another the we love each other - but in an friendship way? I guess?

Now I slowly begin to catch feelings for her, but I’m not ready…

I know my old fp doesn’t wanna see me again, but stil I can’t stop thinking about us. Even after everything I still love her. I hate her, but I still love her.

Idk what to do now. My feelings are just a rollercoaster right now..