
Congrats, you're an adult now, or something. Society treats you differently. You're supposed to be settled. If you come from a good enough background and/or a supportive relationship, good for you. 

Otherwise? Ain't nobody got time for that. Your drama? Havoc? If you don't have good enough support, you can find yourself all alone. You're no longer quirky or alluring. You need to pay rent. So you better keep a job. If you can't? Well, I wonder how many of us slip into addiction and homelessness.

I ended up a hermit. I don't idolise people, nor do I act out. I self sabotage and guess I'm considered toxic, even if not malicious. Just cause I'm a mess. I'm still a fuck up with reduced emotional intelligence and I remind myself of a 14 yo emo kid, and that's not acceptable not cute when older. I kept away from everyone, I can't imagine myself living a decent life, with few valuable relationships. My abusive family hates me, I'm poor and disabled and the self hatred is real. I don't see a way out. I'm scared of my future.