Specifically around suicide and valuing my own life. There are so many other people in the world that could easily fill any of the roles I play in other peoples' lives. Why should it matter if it's specifically me that's around? Why are people so opposed to me killing myself? Why can't I just be euthanized?

When I ask these questions at the moment I feel very matter of fact. Very emotionless towards it all and not at all distressed or anything. It's so different from my usual wild mood swings, but also welcome. 

I know that if someone close to me were to die, from suicide or otherwise, that I'd feel very strongly about the situation. But right now I can't imagine why someone would feel the same for me. It almost seems silly? I'm very replaceable.

Idk. Felt like sharing and am curious if anyone else gets these thoughts.