I woke up at 7 AM today and threw up right as I got out of bed. The whole night I was having dreams about college and my body was stressed af the second I woke up. I have no idea why I'm like this but I absolutely hate it. I've had severe anxiety for the past two years and I thought it was getting better but I guess not. If today was my "day off" I can't even imagine the hell I'm gonna go through tomorrow on my actual first day. I really just wanna crawl under a rock right now and disappear forever, or go to a random field in the middle of nowhere and live out the rest of my life with no responsibilities. If I could just stop existing right now I would, I already feel like I'm dying during each one of these panic attacks anyway. I had all summer to get help or find a therapist but I didn't, and now I have to face the consequences. I'm fighting this battle all alone and it sucks :/