Ok so I’m an artist/singer/musician and I guess that would sometime make me feel good about myself or purpose. But lately I feel empty because my definition of success changed dramatically when I was 24. I realized that rich and poor are illusions of the mind or simply a mindset. And that knowledge is true wealth. But I feel like I’ve been cursed because I know too much at my age (26). Money has never evoked an emotion or controlled my mind. Quite frankly it disgust me as I watch people scurry for it. Success to me is living and being period. Or also doing what you love. I’m very depressed living in this matrix and striving makes me feel like a sellout to myself because I don’t agree with the system. I feel all alone and am panicking on the daily basis. I drink a lot and always fantasize about suicide or the after life. I wish life wasn’t so fucked up. I wish I could be surrounded in a house with people who think like me and have pure hearts and aren’t next to me for personal gain. It takes joy to sing and do music but now I just think there is nothing joyful about this world/society. I’ve been in a rut for weeks. I need help. People develop ego off of material and treat people like shit because of material. Our bodies are worth more than anything on this planet! The sun and moon and stars were created for us. The vegetables grow for us! We are all equal. Smh. The devil has to be real because hate is ruling this world. Be kind please. I’m suffering everyday. No one understands……