BPD has ruined my life. I have been trying so hard to look for a positive outcome, I've never missed an appointment with my therapist, I'm under medication since a few weeks with a fantastic psychiatrist, I'm in a toxic relationship that I can't escape because I'm financially screwed, I've got no where else to live.

Tonight he called me crazy, called me names despite me being respectful and asking him several times to stop yelling at me before things escalated. 

I tried reaching out to friends because I can't deal with how I'm feeling right now, but nobody answered and I'm just so alone.

It's not the first time he's been insulting me, and he even has been physically aggressive with me but I always stay because I'm afraid of being on my own. He's the only attention and love I can get which I crave for.

I'm screwed up.