So I finally decided to acknowledge something that's been staring me in the face for ages, which I've been conveniently ignoring for way too long. I've been using dating as a shitty coping mechanism because I thought that if I was in a relationship with someone, the chances of them leaving were lower. It gave me some short term comfort which was negated pretty quickly when it all blew up in my face soon after. This has happened multiple times now and I can't ignore it any more. I'm wayyy too clingy and needy to be in a relationship with a non-BPD person without completely ruining everything with my constant need for validation. So if I do ever date again, I'm gonna stick to guys who have BPD lol. Sure it'll probably be a train wreck but hey, atleast they'll get it. Lmao between being ace and having BPD, pretty sure I'm out of the dating game for good, and good riddance. I don't need that anxiety in my life any more.