I’m currently 22 but I’ve been dealing with food addiction and disordered eating for as long as I can remember. I remember being a kid maybe 10 years old pulling food out of the kitchen trash can not because I was hungry but because I wanted it. I used to sneak and eat my brother’s left over pizza crust. I even once pulled a box of donuts out of the OUTSIDE trash cans and ate the whole thing in about 30mins. I know it’s fucking disgusting I don’t do things like that anymore thank god. 
Even though I can control myself from eating out of the trash now I’m still struggling incredibly trying to overcome my addiction. I’m stuck in a cycle of binging for around a week, realizing I need to change, dieting/restriction for a few days, and then eventually slipping up which turns into not giving af anymore. I will justify eating something I shouldn’t in my head so I don’t feel as bad about it. i was doing keto a while ago and actually enjoyed it. I saw results in a week but of course I slipped up doing that too..
I just reached a point I honestly thought I’d never get to... I’m currently over 300pounds. I’m 5’4. My body is in pain. My back, knees, head, breathing, literally everything I feel fucking horrible physically and I hate how I look. I KNOW I need to change but I honestly feel like it will never happen for me. I feel like I’m gonna be on my 600 pound life in a few years and even then that still won’t be able to change me. 
Is there anyone out there that actually overcame this shit?? I’ll take the bpd mood swings I’ll even take the shitty relationships but this is something I literally can’t survive.