My whole life, I’ve been worrying about death. Ever since I was a kid, I can’t handle going to someone’s funeral or even hearing anything that’s related to death. I’m terrified of it, terrified of being alone...feeling all the pain, having to leave everything behind and then going to a new place (i believe) — heaven or hell. I’m a muslim so yeah it’s hard to say that death is just falling asleep forever. I’ve been seeing my therapists and psychiatrist for almost 7 years now. Things just remain the same. Meds after meds, therapy after therapy...I’m still here, wanting to run away but not sure where to go. I’m sleep deprived, I can’t sleep at night because I’m afraid if I’ll die in my sleep. I had to cancel my plans (before covid) because I feel like if I go out, I’ll get into a car crash or something. I often get this fuzzy feeling where I feel like it’s the time to go which makes me more and more anxious. I had to distract myself to prevent from getting panic attack. I honestly have no idea what to do anymore.