I just got extremely sad and triggered. I've been no contact with my mom since January. She displays a lot of the same traits I do: Needy, Co-dependent, Clingy, trouble with boundaries, fear of abandonment. I'm better with boundaries than she is but I recently violated my ex's boundaries acting crazy and desperate. Anyway, I used to post in Raisedbynarcissts because she displayed a lot of behavior described on there. The thing is, my mom is very innocent, child like,loving and dedicated. I don't think she's evil, cold or uncaring. Not towards me anyways. I feel conflicted. Because part of her has been very manipulative, conniving, denying of her behavior and she's mocked me for putting standing up to her when she violated my boundaries. I was going through a post on community watch about how a lady was taking care of her elder mom. It triggered the hell out me. 

An intrusive thought popped into my head: She's already deteriorated and fragile enough. She's 53. How is she going to feel when she even older, more fragile, lonely and just wanting love from me. I know she misses me. I know she needs me. I know she yearns for me and it hurts her everyday I don't contact her. I feel like I can't because she doesn't respect my boundaries, she wants me to prioritize her above all things in my life, her behavior doesn't change and interacting with her triggers the f*** out of me. Now imagine feeling this way and dealing with this guilt. Then realizing this is the exact way your ex feels about you. :(