i am never going to be okay am i. i will cry and cry and no one will care. this is going to ruin my life. it's already ruined my life. i'm 27 years old and i havent fixed it by now. he's going to leave me. he hates me. i just want it to stop and i just wanted to be okay. i was okay for a while and then i'm not. he ignores me when i'm sad, he gets mad at me, he doesnt want to be nice to me or help me in any way, i needed him to talk to me. he won't talk to me. he says theres nothing he can do and i should have figured it out by now. i want to change but he tells me i cant. he says if i dont want to be this person i just have to act like i'm not. why cant he help me? why can't he show me love? im so sad. i just want to die. im scared i will never get better. its too late for me. i will never be shown love and compassion. other people just take advantage of me and will never care about me. i hate myself. i just wanted to be loved so bad. we were supposed to move in together and now he probably wont. he never paid me back the deposit.. hes not even committed. everything is ruined and im a piece of shit for being like this. i just keep hurting myself and wanting to die. theres nothing that i can do anymore and nothing that will help me. 