I've been battling a resurfaced anxiety disorder for the last 3/4 months and I'm exhausting everything I can with little success. I dealt with this same thing in college and have been relatively anxiety free for the last 10 years. In July I had a panic attack (never thought it would happen again) and ever since then I'm completely consumed with the worry of having another. My anxiety is because I have anxiety, I worry about my anxiety. I can be having a great day, then I'll start thinking why it's a great day, and boom....anxiety starts.... I've tried doing everything natural I can to alleviate my anxiety and some days are better than others, but I want to get to where I was before. I'm doing therapy/exposure/CBT but I still have this constant worry about "what if I have a panic attack in public, what if I have one tonight, what if I have one now". Which hasn't happened recently, but anyone with anxiety should understand the unnecessary worry.

When my anxiety builds it makes me feel high. My joints tingle/lightly burn, everything looks off/spacey, things just seem mildly distorted. If I didn't have anxiety and think the absolute worst was about to happen I'd probably borderline enjoy it due to its sometimes euphoric feeling. So onto my question.... Meds are an absolute last resort for me. I took Klonopin in college which was great, except weening off had me walking into walls and I told myself I wouldn't do that again. I tried Zoloft/Lexapro back in September and that was the hardest thing I've ever done. Absolutely terrible experience, and terrible side effects. I was prescribed .5mg Klonopin again in July for an absolute need be situation, which I haven't had to use, but there's times when I probably should. SO does anyone know anything about Ketamine Infusions? It seems VERY promising and extremely helpful if you're utilizing it in conjunction with therapy. The only thing that worries me is the side effects while you're being administered it. I'm worried the sensations will cause me to spiral being any off feeling of myself already does that. I just want to feel like my old damn self again

Lastly, anxiety sucks.