Whenever I truly think about what it'd be like if I have a girlfriend, I come to the realization that I no longer have the mindset necessary to commit to one. First I know I would be consumed with jealousy any time she were to bring up another guy. Years of body dymorphia and low self esteem I'd always be expecting for her to be looking for a better partner and leave me or cheat on me. Having been alone my whole life and never having someone I can trust or open up to, the mere thought of being vulnerable to someone physically repulses. I mean imagining telling someone my deepest secrets and feelings makes me actually want to throw up. I've built armor around myself that I don't think I can ever take off again, as it's what's kept me going my whole life through this dark and dangerous world. Finally I just will always know that I'm not good enough and anyone I end up with I'd just be holding them back. Truth is when I look on the mirror or deep within myself I know I simply don't have enough to offer, I don't bring anything to the table so to speak. Many guys pine for their manic pixie dream girl but when I imagine a women actually falling in love with me all I can think about is the boring mundane life shed have with me. Honestly I wouldn't want to subject anyone to living their rest of their lives with someone as worthless as I am."if you love someone, let them go" os the truest statement ever.