I don't want to talk about exactly what happened. But every time I end up triggered by something, I go and do something really stupid, get real emotional, and start sabotaging the hell out of my relationships. I just can't think straight in that moment. 

I really hate myself. Because I was talking to someone who needed support, and instead made the conversation all about me, and started acting so dramatic... Idk what to do anymore.... 

I'm tired of not having friends, I want people to share my daily events with... My FP is a sweet soul, but he needs support too (mentally)... But I feel really bad that I made his day worst, when all wanted was reassurance, but instead things escalated badly... 

I really don't like these episodes of intense emotions, cuz I can almost feel myself getting better now, but I really felt like my world is ending 30 minutes ago... 

I know my words may not make sense, but just want to get this out of my system. Thank you for hearing me out.