I've been diagnosed with BPD before. It's been a controversial diagnosis; I didn't think I had it because I never really displayed the explosive anger or extreme impulsive behavior/interpersonal conflict. However, the other symptoms I fit to a T; splitting, extreme emotional fluctuations, self-harming behavior, chronic emptiness, lack of identity, dissociation. 

Sometimes I act more "borderline" depending on the relationship; at work, for example, I'm a model employee with almost no complaints against me. With my family, I'm so good at pretending to be stable and in control that they really have no idea what's going on in my life (I spent a whole year hiding severe PTSD from them). Friendships and relationships are a... different story. None of my friendships last longer than a year, because I always get angry and ghost or slow-fade them. Dating is a fucking nightmare. I was extremely attached and emotionally dependent on my ex. I would literally cry hysterically when I had to leave him in the morning for work, like a kid being separated from their parent. Then out of the blue, I fell out of love with him, but I was so attached, I did ANYTHING to keep him with me. I did crazy, horrible shit, self-harming and even lying to keep him with me. I am 100% the crazy ex-girlfriend, and I fucking hate myself for it. He was also abusive and sexually assaulted me, but I really think I was equally responsible in the way I treated him. Besides him, I've fallen crazy in love with pretty much every guy I've ever slept with, but none of them wanted to date me, and honestly it fucked me up so bad that I'm not even sure I can date men anymore (I'm bisexual so I could still date women, but honestly I think I'm just starting to feel burnt out on romance regardless of gender).

I feel like honestly I'm living as like 4 different people. Romantic partners and close friends tend to see the worst versions of me; it's honestly mind-blowing to me that the version of me I am in my personal life is the same me that exists at work or with my family. Can anyone else relate?