everything went from good to bad incredibly quickly lol. understanding intellectually that this is distortions doesn't really help because i still feel like dying. 

my classes feel useless

i feel stupid and not capable 

my ex who im still hung up on is liking tweets about staying in relationships out of fear of upsetting the man she is around

i feel disconnected from my current girlfriend even though she's wonderful

there is a very difficult student in one of my classes

i will not be making as much money as i thought i would at my new job

all of these things lead to me feeling sad, unfulfilled, nervous, angry and hopeless. i understand that really only the money has changed, i felt hopeful and ok on monday. knowing that doesnt help though, i feel like a giant black hole is growing inside me and the only thing that calms me down is thinking about hanging myself