I’ve improved my life in so many ways over the past year and the suicidal ideation has only gotten worse. I am 18, I’ve been suicidal for 6+ years. At first I thought it was from being lonely, fat, or having no hobbies but now I have a shit ton of friends, Im in good shape, and I have hobbies. I still just dont think life is worth it for me, nothing is ever good enough. I could never own a firearm because id probably kill myself within a few days, I’m just an impulsive alexithymic anhedonic mess