All my past relationships have been a mess, all the guys have left me because "I'm too much" and "have so many problems". None of them seemed to love enough anyway. Now there's this guy I'm dating, and he has his own issues as well (severely depressed), but he is madly in love with me and it scares me. We live in a spanish speaking country and we have two words to express love, English has only one. The point is "querer" is less intense and "amar" is very intense, a very strong word you don't say to everyone. None of my previous bfs told me that word, they just said the "less intense" kind of love; but this guy did and I was crying in my bed last night because nobody in the world had told me that, not even my mom. Nobody. It was strange that someone could love me that much because I feel I'm a monster and I don't know how someone can think I'm the best person in the world. I'm in love with him, but I'm just so scared, I'm getting clingy and I need attention from him, which we all know is bpd. But I just feel he couldn't really love me that way because I don't even love my self. Everybody around us say his feelings are pure and true, but I can't believe it because I've been neglected and abandoned my whole life. Have you ever felt this way? What can I do to calm the f*ck down? I really want this kind of love, I want to be clingy and corny but I'm also afraid. I don't know, I'm feeling confused.