I'm sharing this as a reminder to everyone that you will be okay. 

I suffer from severe anxiety and have since I was a 14. 
I'm also on the spectrum. I am constantly anxious. I typically have moments of calm and happiness but there's always an underlying feeling of anxiety. Feeling relaxed is more of a concept than a reality to me. 

It's difficult sometimes to not feel hopeless because nothing ever feels okay. Everyday tasks and chores can feel overwhelming a lot of the time but recently I've been working to make small changes that make maintaining everyday chores and schedules easier. Setting alarms to make me aware what time it actually is. Setting reminders every day of small but necessary tasks ie.dishes, packing lunches, ect.

I've also made efforts to try and alleviate some of the major stressors in my life. Namely my job. It's incredibly stressful and it causes my anxiety to spike constantly just due to the nature of my workplace. I've been looking and applying for other positions but it's been hard to find one that is financially equivalent to what I have currently. But I finally found one and they offered me a position last week.

I've also been working to be more active out in the world. I have severe social anxiety but I also want to go out and do things and explore with my son. He's almost five and he's at that really fun age where he wants to go out and see the world and learn new things. So I've been pushing myself to focus on the fun positive enjoyment that comes from going out and doing things and not the social anxiety that I feel while doing them.

It's been difficult and I'm not going to lie I kind of hate it sometimes but tonight I was walking across my living room and I stopped and realized that for the first time in a long time I felt like I'm okay. There was no consuming anxiety looming at the edge of my consciousness  waiting to consume me.

Of course there's that soft underlying current of anxiety that everyone with anxiety has, but that's okay because I'm okay. 

And I want to share this to let you all know that you'll be okay too. 

And I know that because I realized there wasn't some earth-shattering change in my life that made everything okay. There was no miracle that changed my life and took my anxiety away. No magic pill that just made it disappear. My anxiety isn't gone. I'm just successfully managing it.

And if I can do that so can you. It's going to be different for every one of us on how we figure out how to manage our anxiety. It is really difficult to learn how to be able to take control of the things that are making us anxious and minimize them. It's a struggle to not be consumed by them as you're learning how to deal with them.But everyday that struggle gets a little bit easier. And it feels great when you realize that you are in control of your anxiety and it's not in control of you.

Controlling your anxiety isn't some Herculean feat that comes in a single moment of strength. It comes from small victories over time. So every time you have a victory whether it's that you washed that dish or paid that bill celebrate it. Own it. It doesn't matter if it's no big deal "normal"people. Celebrate it. Wear it like a jewel in a crown. It is a victory and you deserve to feel proud about it.

I know that you had at least one small victory today and I'm proud of you. You'll be okay