I have BPD, and  it ruins me. My first boyfriend was very abusive, we dated for three years into college and he also struggled with mental health. About a year in things became crazy. We fought constantly and that's when I feel like my BPD started to reach its full potential. I lied to him about the most mundane things, literally anything to make him give me more attention when I felt like I was losing him. He would be at the gym and I would feel the need to call him, I would call him like 30 times in the morning if he wasn't answering to make sure he would get up for work. He absolutely loved it though, and his physical and mental abuse never let up. He would tell me about how he had relations with other girls when we were broken up in detail and I'm still not sure I am completely over it. 

Now its almost three years later and I get attached to every guy I meet within like an hour. Im 23f and it took me legitimately 2 years to get over someone I dated for 4 months. After he broke up with me because he felt like he didn't want a girlfriend, I started doing everything to make him feel bad for me like I did with my previous ex. I was struggling with some headache issues at the time and I exaggerated them to the fullest to make him feel bad for me so he would text me after the break up. I didn't want anything from him besides his attention. And during those two years I would find men and do the same thing when I felt like they were done with me. I've been talking to a guy now for a little bit and every second he doesn't text me I feel insane. I thought he blocked me because he didn't text me the other morning and my texts weren't sending. I legit sent him 70 texts because I thought he wasn't receiving them. He texted me later in the day saying he was at a music festival and his phone died. Im going crazy. Does anyone else feel the need to lie about the most mundane things? I literally told him I'm ambidextrous and speak two languages, that I have a cat when I don't. It just feels like anything to get their attention to make me seem unique