I hate how sudden waves of sadness can take over your day.

It's been a good week and I've been recovering from having to go to the hospital due to being a "risk" to myself. 

I've been taking sleep medication. And slowly feeling better. I honestly thought that my relapse would be next week or so. But out of nowhere, this wave, slowly flushing over me, slowly causing the water to rise, slowly, I'm getting that feeling again. That feeling of standing in the deep end of the pool, where you can no longer touch the floor with your feet and that all that is sticking out of the water is your face. You can still breath, but sometimes a small wave flushes over your face. your body fills with anxiety and it feels like you'll never get back out of this situation/feeling.

I don't know why I'm writing this. I don't know how this could possibly help me or any of you. But I just felt like I had to write this. Somewhere, Anywhere. And for some reason this felt like a better place then in my diary.