I really really hate the inconsistency that comes with this disorder, the instability, the lack of sense of self. I don’t know who I am because it changes on a day to day, sometimes hour by hour basis. Sometimes I think it’s not that bad. Other times, like right now, I feel like I’m stuck in an awful prison and there’s no way out. I feel helpless, I feel horrible thinking that this might be how I’ll have to live my life forever. I don’t want to live if it’s going to be this much pain forever. I wish I felt consistency, even if I just felt sad all the time, I want that, I hate not knowing who I am or what I believe or what I want. I hate that everything can change so fast, it’s so disorienting. I crave comfort and familiarity. I wish I were normal.