I am wasting my life away with sleeping. I am unemployed and study online. I surprise passed even tho my mom chose to tell me at the start of my exams that she lost her job. I supported her for almost 2 months fjnancially from money I get from my bf and it was draining and a huge burden..the other burden is my mom has depression so she doesn't cook or clean...just sleep on the couch and watch tv. My room looks like a depression den just as hers. I try to clean and be neat then my mom will make it untidy again and I will fall back into my old habits of throwing things on the floor and going to sleep. My mom takes meds but I refuse to take meds because i took it before. 

I feel so alone ..my father abandoned me when I was a baby so I never knew his family. My mom's family also don't want to associate with us because my mom's not successful and she said its because she is very dark skinned and was always insulted by the family for being dark. I have almost no friends and I go out alone all the time. I have a bf and had many bfs ...I am very extroverted with my bfs and wanna go out wirh them all the time. All my job applications got declined, my mom's boss is not paying her and puts strain on me because she makes it my problem when she don't have money. I also don't want to stay with my bf because he is a drug addict who treats me really bad when we lived together. I don't use drugs or even drink or smoke. He helps me with money and he is very sweet and kind until we live together then I see the real him and all his bad habits such as alcohol and drugs.. I feel really stuck and feel I will be in this situation forever. Its painful for me to socialise with people because of my depression. I feel there is nothing to look forward to in life because my mom's always in problems and I will end up being her retirement plan. There is no future with a drug addicted bf. My job applications are all declined. 

I am the definition of a loser...a failure.i have tried everything..even opened a business with my bfs money and we bought someone else's failed business and we couldn't save it because he refused to take a partner and he also refused to stop using drugs.

I am stuck in this black hole 😔 I am trying my best to get out of poverty and I so badly want to be independent and have my own job and own mney but God just won't give it to me and it forces me to be depend on my bf. I have become overweight and there is no glow on my face anymore. Life isn't good and whatever I do....doesn't succeed. Other people get jobs very quickly but it's only me who is still unmarried, with no car, no job nothing 😔 I had photos of myself taken and saw how overweight and old I looked. I'm in my 20s but look like I'm in my 30s. Any tips ? I started eating healthy and doing yoga. I want to make a dramatic change in my life. I want to be happy.