I'm currently 18 (M) living in Canada with my mother and brother. I'm lower middle class and barely make rent most months. 

I was diagnosed with MDD when I went to see a military doctor about my issues, took the meds and never spoke again. I couldn't make the calls due to.my own anxiety and worry, I dont know. I tried overdosing 4 months back and hospitalized because of it. 

I broke up with my girlfriend of one year last night and it's been eating me up constantly, we're both hurt mentally and she decided to make the decision.

I've been self harming myself and planning on another way to end it. I'm tearing myself up in bed with a blade, I'm hitting myself, I'm scratching. I just want to end it all. It wont fucking stop and I just want to get better but cant. I dont know how. I used to be happy, workout, hobbies, friends but I haven't felt anything good since I was 16. Please anyone just say anything, I'm grasping at straws and cant keep living like this. I haven't ate for days and I'm withering away.