I’ll try not to make this too lengthy but I don’t go to therapy and I don’t talk to anyone about my mental health unless I can do it anonymously. I just need to vent right now. 

here are the main things that are weighing heavy on me: 

I am a college drop-out currently living with my parents, not a clue what to do with my life, suicide survivor, recently fired due to car troubles, and nearly flat broke. My sweet disabled mother’s health is declining and she may not be able to walk in the coming years. Today my ill grandma who lives with us collapsed and didn’t have the energy to get up. I don’t know how much longer we have with her. I am incredibly lonely and longing for affection and love but  it’s so hard to meet people right now, and I don’t think my mental state as of late would fair well in a relationship. 

I am struggling. everyday I find myself asking why life is so hard. I feel like everyday is a step closer to a void I can’t come back from. I want to live, I really do, but it’s times like these that my head is louder than my heart, and I’m losing my grip. I know that things get better, but right now everything hurts. 

I am going to stay strong but I really needed this outlet to get out all the thoughts I hold inside. Thank you for hearing me &lt;3