Today for the first time in awhile I self harmed.  I told myself I had it completely handled, I managed it for years.  But one day my ex decided to self harm on mic in front of me.  I'm still not okay.  So I did the right thing and hung around and talked and tried to make the world seem like a better place.  I sent him a text last night about taking care of himself, he said I don't know why you would say that.  The dude hurt himself.  Fast forward to today, I could feel the cravings.  My friends and support systems are so chipper, they don't understand hurt or at least won't show me.  Why do we do these things to each other?  I just want to be loved again.