im not trying to make it seem like i've struggled a bunch or anything so here's some background: my parents are literally the best, they support me in every way possible and they are genuinely fun to just hang out with. same with my 2 older brothers. my friends are great, we have the same humour/interests, and never fight. i love my boyfriend so much, we always make sure to do something fun/new off tripadvisor for our local city once a month. i even have hobbies, particularly playing sports and drawing.

i recently was looking at my life, and it really is a perfect as young me could imagine, but if that's all it is, i don't really see the point. hanging out with the people close to me, then i go home and every bit of fun i had goes away just like that. ill play a game of hockey, fun, but then its over. everything good comes to end, and then we have to stress over different work and school schedules, ad we try to find the next day we can have that much fun? it just doesn't seem worth it to me. i dont think id act on this because i feel bad for everyone who's always there for me, but (this may sound selfish) i want to live for myself, not them. no matter how hard i try and how much fun i had, i go to bed feeling unfulfilled.