I haven't made a friendship since I was 4 years old and am now 18. I only let one person in during that time and that was my girlfriend. She died almost a year ago and I haven't been able to let any anybody know we even dated, I didn't even go to the funeral.

I cannot make friends because I have abandonment issues and I think any friends I make will end up leaving eventually. I don't know what to do and I don't know what the point of all this is. 

What did I do to deserve this.