I have no one else to tell this to. 

I feel like my whole life in the eyes of anyone who isn't family is just a lie. The stories I tell, the emotions I feel, and even the thoughts I think are all lies. 

I can't stop. I can't stop lying for no good reason. As I'm writing this, I feel 15% scared and 85% percent like I couldn't care any less. I feel so happy when I lie and fuck with everyone's mind and emotions. I can't stop. I need to stop. I can't. 

I don't know if I can even call myself my own name anymore. It can't be mine. This isn't me. I don't know who this person really is. I'm scared. Sort of.