i want to write a book. for all my life i’ve had this dream to be an author. the only time i feel alive or truly happy is when i’m creating something or surrounded by people i love. i have been so lonely lately and my dreams feel so out of reach. something always gets in the way. i am working my ass off at essentially 9-5 job that’s interesting enough but leaves me with no time for my personal dreams and goals. if money didn’t matter, i know how i would want to live my life. but it feels impossible and out of reach. im so sick of everyone saying to take little steps and that everything is a process and a journey. i have been on this planet for 24 years and i have gone through so much trauma and pain. i have already had to work so hard just to survive and other people can achieve their goals in a blink of an eye. why cant i just have what i want now?