I (18f) have been with my partner (18m) a while now but I’m scared I’m going to cause him trauma like I have to previous partners. 
I don’t mean to do any harm but i have so many issues including bpd, c-ptsd, and autism and it makes my emotions very strong and difficult to deal with. I have a history with suicide and I still struggle with that daily and it hurts my partner. I have had quite a few serious breakdowns hysterically screaming and crying and I feel awful about it but it needs to happen and I cant stop them. I don’t know how to change things and I’m afraid I’m going to push my partner away like I did with my ex and like I do with everyone. I’m self aware of everything wrong that I do but I can’t change I don’t know how. My partner is very loving and understanding that I can’t help the way I am but I still feel awful about it and feel like I’m ruining him :(