So I met this girl on Facebook August last year after sending out random friend requests. I’m 19 and she’s 18. I noticed she started heart reacting all my posts and pictures so I was up really late one night bored as hell couldn’t sleep and decided to text her. Automatically we clicked. We started talking for a few weeks and got together. We met after a few days of dating online and I completely fell in love with her. I do not see any female the way I see her and I know I’m young but I honestly wanna spend my life with her and make her my wife one day. There’s so many similarities between us and it’s like we’re meant to be together. We had the same childhood, we both enjoy the same stuff, we have a lot of common interests, and we just really really click. I really love this girl and I really wanna make her my wife one day and spend the rest of my life with her.  I gave up on relationships until I met her because all my past relationships I’ve been cheated on, lied to and led on. My last relationship before her was 2018 I believe and I’ve isolated myself from everybody since then until I met her. She hasn’t gave me a reason to worry but every day I’m scared she’s gonna find somebody better, I’m terrified she’s gonna cheat on me, I’m scared she’s gonna sleep with somebody else, I’m scared she’s gonna lose feelings, I’m scared she’s gonna just leave. She tells me she loves me every day and she talks about the future with me and plans things with me A LOT. We text and talk to eachother all day every day. She gets jealous when another girl talks to me. She honestly believes I’m her soulmate and I think the same too. Our relationship is pretty good but we have bad days sometimes. I’ve pushed her away in the past when it gets bad and I still do sometimes because I’m terrified of relying on somebody because they can just leave you and pretend you never existed. I have really bad trust issues and abandonment issues. She doesn’t know about any of this I’ve just kept it to myself because these are my problems not hers and she shouldn’t have to deal with them. She asks what’s wrong sometimes and I just tell her I’m tired or some other excuse because I don’t want her to think any different of me. None of this is because of her. It’s just because I’ve had a shit past with everybody I’ve been with and I’m trying to overcome it. Now the other thing is I lost my virginity to her a few nights ago. I made a dumbass mistake and we had unprotected sex.. I was thinking with the wrong head. I was extremely careful and I didn’t get any ya know what inside of her at all, and all the worrying I mentioned before this and the possibility of her being pregnant is stressing me out completely. She doesn’t have the best home life, she lives with her toxic dysfunctional parents in an apartment about 35 minutes away. She has a job but she only makes $8 an hour. I’m looking for a job but it’s really hard where I live. I can’t drive yet, I still live at home with my parents, and my parents are really the only people I have other than her. They’re like my best friends. I’m still a kid at heart and I’m terrified of growing up. It scares the shit outta me. What if my parents kick me out and disown me and hate me? What if they don’t love me anymore if she’s pregnant? What if her parents make her break up with me? What if she’s actually pregnant? Which I don’t think she is but it scares me. What she leaves me and find someone that can support the baby? I don’t know what to do and my anxiety about mine and her parents and mine and her relationship is off the rails.