A few months ago I was frequenting this sub while waiting for my Intensive Outpatient Program for DBT to begin. Once the program started, my entire world ended (check my post history if you care, not getting into it here). I graduate the program on Thursday,  and here's what I've learned so far.

1. This sub is not helpful for recovery. While it *feels* better in the moment to bitch and get it out, that doesn't solve anything and this entire subreddit is toxic to recovery. I'm NOT saying this subreddit is bad - because it is not! - and it totally serves its purpose, but if you genuinely want to get better, this is not the place to do it.

2. Group engagement seems to be the only way to truly learn and use the skills gained in DBT. While self teaching may be the only option for some and is probably better than nothing, our perceptions are quite distorted and we really need someone to guide us and help answer our questions.

3. You are the only person that can make yourself feel better. Don't ruin someone else's life because you feel shitty about yourself and want someone else to make you feel some level of worth.

4. Radical Acceptance ... sounds like a simple concept, is much harder to put into practice, but once you do life is so much more clear. Life happens and there isn't shit you can do about it alot of the time. You can either be upset by it, or accept it. Acceptance does not mean agreement! 

5. Expectations will always lead to disappointment and resentment. Do you expect someone to console you when you're sad? And what happens when they don't? We cannot expect anything from anyone for any reason. We can only have expectations for ourselves, for that is all we have any control over.

There's tons more but these were the biggest things for me.

I appreciate this sub for all the times I felt like I needed to vent. I hope you all seek real recovery if you want to get better from this bullshit and have the option to do so.