I’ve been trying so hard to be happy again, but I just can’t seem to find it. I feel like I’ve been just trying to fake it until I make it, but I’m running out of energy.

I have two friends. Both have social circles they actively choose not to include me in, and would both forget about me if I just disappeared one day.

I quit my job. The stress was too much. But now I need to start trying to cover cost of living off selling drawings online, cuz none of my job applications have come back to me. And if that doesn’t work it I’ll have to start selling a my belongings. I’ve lived beyond my means, and soon the bill is coming due.

I feel so alone

I used to have all these visions and plans for the future, but now I can hardly even picture my life a few months from now. 

I just feel like I’m running out of time. Like soon I’ll have played all the cards I’ve been dealt and find myself truly with nothing, no one.

I just feel like nothing I do matters, I don’t matter, not really, to anyone. All my art is derivative, and people only respond to stuff I do that’s related to things they already like. Anything I do that’s my own fails, immediately. So what’s the damn point anymore?

I just don’t know if I’m gonna be around in a few months, I just feel like my time is running out