Hey guys,

I'm a 24 years old female, and I am very bad at managing my stress. and I think I might have generalized anxiety disorder.

I have lack of self confidence and insecurities about myself (like things I don't like about myself, lack of knowledge about stuff in life, feeling naïve and sometimes dumb,....) and I tend to ruminate a lot when I'm alone (which is most of the time) and put pressure on myself.

 I haven't done much in my life because I've always preferred to be in the comfort zone.

Procrastination is one of things I couldn't fix last years too because I would leave things to the last minute, like revising for exams for example and now I regret so much and I ruminate about wasted time. 

whenever I try to introduce stressful events to my life, I fail at handling them and I end up depressed because I get so anxious , I make a big deal of these events but then when they pass I realize that I was just making it big in my head and that it's not that dramatic. I ended up losing an opportunity last year because I was too scared.

This summer I went through depression because I kept blaming myself and ruminating about that lost opportunity and I would also ruminate about social situations (like how I talked or like why did I say that stupid thing, I shouldn't have said that, so yeah I give these things too much importance and I waste a lot of time ruminating about them.....). I also have poor social skills and have difficulty looking people in the eyes. 

Sometimes I feel messed up, I feel like I'm not competent in my field of study so I can't get a job, I have no friends. and I see my friends who are successful in their life and I feel like a failure. like I'm way behind, like I'm 24 yo, I have no social life, I'm not competent in my field. But that feeling isn't always present. but I tend to experience negative emotions and I catastrophize things in my head until I talk to someone and realize I've been dramatizing stuff.

I'm trying to move on in my life, improve myself in my field and build healthy lifestyle. The tricky thing is when I feel in that state of depression/anxiety, and I feel like I can't handle the symptoms, I usually feel the urge to take an appointment with a psychologist/psychiatrist  but then after some days I feel better so I don't go back , there are many times when I'd ask for an appointment but then I wouldn't go because after some days I feel better and I tell myself that I can just deal with it on my own.

Last week I went to a psychiatrist/ psychotherapist I explained to her about things that happened in my life and the fact that in general I tend to get too anxious about things but right now I'm not anxious, I'm a bit depressed and she put me on:

Lexapro 10 mg and prazepam 10 mg and she told me when u feel better we'll start CBT.

The thing is after talking to her, I felt no longer depressed, that also has to do with weather change (now it's not hot as before) and the fact that I enrolled in a gym and started changing my eating habits and going outside from time to time ) and also treating my vitamin d deficieny.

The thing is right now I'm like , oh i'm feeling good like I feel motivated to study , I feel optimistic and not pessimistic like I was , I don't cry like I used to do basically I'm not longer depressed and I haven't even started to take the medication. 

I'm confused, and also I'm afraid that if I try and start trying new things in my life I'll again have difficulty managing my stress and going through depression again and sometimes I'm like no I can do it on my own, by changing my lifestyle, scheduling my time, sticking to a plan and being disciplined, exercising, stuff like that. 

I'm confused whether I should take the treatment or not 

also now that I feel good and I'm not longer having these negative thoughts, so I feel like I don't need CBT. and at the time I'm afraid of these feelings of sadness and worry will come again.

What do you guys thing?