I just want to say first off for anyone going through depression or having suicidal thoughts, you might not see it but your strong cause depression can drag you down and make you feel like absolute crap and sometimes make you even wish you were dead but you all still keep fighting regardless day after day and I’m sure most don’t even take medication( I’ve heard in some cases it does not even work)

I was wondering can anyone confirm if I have depression cause I honestly wanna get help if I do but it also scares me, I’ve been feeling like this since I was about 15 or 16 I’m 20. Sometimes I just get these random moments where the world just feels like it’s crashing down on me, where I just want to lay down all day and sometimes where I just want to cry to get the pain out even though I don’t know the problem. It’s like all that happiness and energy I had is sucked out and tossed away and replaced by nothing but a million thoughts and just nothing at the same time. The part that bothers me is I’m happy with my life, love everyone and everything in it but sometimes I just feel like giving up or on occasion taking my life when nobody is home but then I think about how it’ll affect everyone around me like friends and family then I just can’t, I’m not afraid of death just what it’ll do to everybody if they’ll blame themselves.

Sorry if this is long I don’t really have anyone to tell all this too mainly cause I don’t want anyone to know and I’m scared how they’ll react. So can anyone tell me if I am or maybe I’m making myself feel like this or maybe I’m just looking for a way to justify this and most of All should I tell my family?