TLDR: walked past my old school and triggered memories of a really bad day and it felt like I was right back there in the moment


I haven't been outside all that much maybe 3 times in twice as many months. Today my mum had to travel for work (she usually works from home) so I had to walk the dog.

On the walk we went past my old school and I saw they were doing team building exercises with the year 9's (14/15 year olds) they do this the second to last day every year.

It immediately brought me back to when I did it 5 or so years ago and what I horrible day that was. I didn't have many friends and didn't really talk to anyone at school and this team building day they get you to be in groups with people from different classes and I was in a group with absolutely nobody I knew. They day was absolutely hellish the whole day I was on high alert, I was just so anxious but at the time I didn't know why.

That day will forever be ingrained in my memory because I remember going home and googling anxiety because I knew what I was feeling was not normal and came across social anxiety. And I distinctly remember just bawling my eyes out on the sofa because it just explained how I was feeling so well. 

And today when I walked past and saw what they were doing it was like I was transported back to that day and could feel all of the anxiety and emotions I felt even though I had no need to be anxious, I was just minding my own business walking the dog but it all just felt so raw. Like I could almost feel an anxiety attack coming on even though it was just a memory