Hey, sorry if my english sucks 

I recently had two suicide attempts and got diagnosed with bpd. Before the attempts i was doing ok and my symptoms werent affecting my life in the way they affect now, it all just happened suddenly and my mental health collapsed. The thing is, after i returned from the hospital, i started to experiencing all of the sympoms muchhh worse.

In the past i had an identity and suddenly i dont know who i am anymore. I look at the old photos and listen stories about me but dont recognize myself. None of my memories feel mine, i feel like im clone of myself and real me died. I have dissociated heavily in the past, but these things feel much worse than before. I never recognize  myself in the mirror anymore

I was wondering, can lack of identity in bpd just start suddenly or is this just depersonalization?

Tbh i feel like im going insane. Im having weird daily  panic attacks and cant do anything. I feel like i might have done something to my brain by overdosing