Just got back home after my first semester at college and i haven’t felt as bad as this in years. i hate being home. I’ve already gotten told Im ruining Chirstmas more than once bc I’ve been ill. idk how i’m going to continue to do this in the future. I’d genuinely rather have stayed alone in my dorm. Before this my one parent would always tell me about how I’d be able to escape when I went to college and be free of the their insanity, but it’s all just came crashing back. I hate these damn holidays man just wish I could get back to being on my own. At least Im not made to feel like a worthless, selfish child there. I just don’t know how to handle being the scapegoat anymore bc I finally realized that’s what I’ve been made into here.