this only started maybe a month ago or a little over that. i don't think i've ever had anxiety this bad. and nothing really new happened at all. i'm living in the same place going to school at the same place friends with the same people, it's whatever but i don't know why it's so bad. i wake up and my #1 goal every day is just to eat something. which requires going outside. it takes HOURS just to convince myself to leave. I put on a fierce outfit, put a lot of nice makeup on, I'll check social media and stuff to make sure I won't run into my friends on the way outside (if they're online posting a lot of stuff they're either home or at work), but it almost never works. I've gone around 4 days without eating just because I'm SO embarassed to go outside. And it's not even a matter of "cook at home" because i have to buy ingredients outside lol, I have to still go to school and be able to go out without being so embarrassed. I don't know why I'm just so nervous of going outside and running into people i know. it's 5pm here today and i've been trying to leave to eat since 10am. I'm just sitting in my room in a nice outfit staring at how nice it looks outside. What do I do?? I won't be able to go to the doctor until November. I'm starting to turn more to drinking because it's the only thing that works right now. I just don't know why it's so impossible for me to get out the door, almost like I know i dont belong in this city, and if someone runs into me theyre gonna start interrogating me about why i think i can walk around like i belong....i dont know what to do. im also considering washing all my clothes in the bathtub because im so embarrassed about going to the laudromat lol