Hello!

I am not sure if this is the right post for this community but thought I woould share to maybe feel better about it.

M25, I don’t mean to sound superficial nor attention seeking, but today was my birthday and I felt sad/anxious about the outcome.

For the most part, the people I know I’m closest with they reached out with good wishes, though there were some that their absence was felt. And yes, I understand that  everyone has things going on and I don’t expect most of my friends, specially the ones who aren as close to me to remember my birthday, but that was not the issue.

I invited a group of 12 friends to come later by night to chill and sing happy birthday, and was practically ghosted by all but 3 of them. Of course, of all those 12 not all are the closest ones, but still, all from the same group, and if it were the other way around I would have surely attended their event.

I dont know, it felt weird, I’ve never been big about birthdays and I do understand how lucky I am to turn another year and I’m really appreciative of the messages that I received, but still, this one hurt.
Kinda sucks to prepare and set up your place and then no one showing, specially with your family asking how was it and who went...

I’m feeling shitty about myself in this sense, as if yeah texts are good and all but I dont feel most of them made the slightest effort to try to come. I’m not gonna pretend that I will have a close group of friends specially as I get older, but still.

I’m usually not too hard on myself, and again, I know who my closest friends really are, but I figured that for a birthday most of the group would show up. 

Any advice, words, reflection is welcomed!