I am really struggling and could use some advice. Lately I just don’t feel like me. Im feeling really disconnected from my thoughts, feelings, emotions, pretty much just all of myself. I feel like I don’t even know who I am anymore. I feel disconnected from my family as well, even my pets. I used to be very open with my mom about how I was feeling (mostly scared because I used to have tons of physical symptoms). But now I feel like I don’t even know how to tell her how I feel. I keep thinking about my childhood and I don’t know why like all day I keep getting random memories it’s weird. I feel so lost. Before I was in pain alot but honestly still happy and living happily. Now i’m never happy or excited and I don’t even remember the person I was a couple months ago.

Another weird thing I don’t understand. So i’ve have anxiety since I was little and I know this about myself. I was in the hospital 2 years ago because of it. Went to tons of doctors all that fun stuff. But for some reason when I try to think about it’s like my brain is trying to shelter me from it. Like I think about those times and have 0 connection to them. Almost like that person wasn’t me even thought I know it was me. ( this is what is really causing me trouble rn feeling like I don’t remember who I am). 

And last but not least I can’t stop thinking about death. No matter what I do i’m thinking about it. It’s almost made me feel as if nothing around me is real. I honestly am afraid to die. I’m 18 I want to live and be happy like I used to. I don’t know what to do to help myself because I’m having a hard time expressing how I feel because i’m so disconnected from myself. 

If you made it this far thank you for reading I really appreciate anything you have to say.