On Wednesday I had a pretty bad episode. I felt like I had this massive brain fog and then I looked down from my desk and I saw a pile of vomit (there was no vomit) I felt something weird on my arm and when I looked down there was this sort of percentage meter that I could barely make out. Several voices started discussing formatting me like a computer. 

One voice came from in front of me and with a very booming but sinister voice said it was taking over. I have this delusion a lot where I feel like I am losing control of my body to the voices. So I look down again and the weird meter on my arm is reduced and all of the sudden I can't control my legs. I can feel them but I try to walk and just collapse. I crawled on the ground sobbing and asking why they were doing this to me and to just stop but the more I cried the less I can move until I just started convulsing.  


I laid on the floor for a couple of hours until I as able to make it onto the bed. I then laid down and cried myself to sleep. My brain has been hurting since then and I wasn't able to make any music until today. I decided to write about how I felt during the episode. I wrote about how although so many times I want to die I still hang on for the people in my love that need me and care for me.

Hope you like it. &lt;3

[https://soundcloud.com/lennonsmind/one-more-time-around-no-way-out?utm\_source=clipboard&amp;utm\_medium=text&amp;utm\_campaign=social\_sharing](https://soundcloud.com/lennonsmind/one-more-time-around-no-way-out?utm_source=clipboard&amp;utm_medium=text&amp;utm_campaign=social_sharing)