So I’ve had this track record of wanting/trying to manifest something to occur and when it doesn’t I get upset and anxious. For example- this is super embarrassing, I went to a Tyler the creator concert and wanted to get noticed by him to the point of meeting/getting backstage. Same type of thing at this other concert I went to, I wanted the singer to like be into me. IM CRINGING SO HARD RN. But anyways, I would like make up scenarios and stuff beforehand and then when it doesn’t happen I’m always disappointed because my expectations weren’t met. I kinda hyper-fixate on the idea in a way by creating scenarios as if my life somehow was like how it could’ve went if I did encounter them. I catch myself having convos and daydreaming. 

It’s gotten to a point where I am so into the idea of that life that I’ve been daydreaming of, that I’m just going about my days doing nothing else. I haven’t don’t one assignment this entire sem so I have to drop out of my classes. I keep telling myself I am going to commit and try to make it in music because I’ve been romanticizing it constantly but my ethic and motivation stops me from doing so.

Guess I’m wondering what the f is this and if it’s normal LOWKEY lol. Thanks beforehand to anyone who replies.