I'm 13 and i feel like I always make terrible decisions and have to rely on others even abusers who just want control for help on almost everything I can't even

 decide what I wanna eat in the morning, little backstory about me I was abused sexually ,physically, mentally, and manipulated by some of the people in my family

 when I was 8-10, so they've been the ones controlling most of life and reminding me of every mistake i made and now I have a fear that everyone will leave me if I make a mistake on my own my dad keeps reminding me that I'm going to be 18 in only 5yrs and I'll be on my own to make my own decisions and I can't I'll just screw my whole life over