Long story short, I had a mental breakdown a few months back where I started questioning my identity, my personality and sexuality. Even my relation with my partner. I got diagnosed with BPD and been on medication. I only just started therapy. This week was a bad week. I lost a relative and me my partner had a fight to which I thought it was going to be over. We have had problems as been try to buy a house but my mental health has been so bad I couldn’t face it. I went and got drunk at a friends house like blind drunk and was unfaithful. I hate myself for it. I don’t know why I did it. I didn’t find her attractive or enjoy it. I am struggling with the guilt and I know I did a terrible thing but I just don’t know why I did it. I am not sure I can go on like this