I wish I was normal. I wnat to break up with my fp but it'll so bad I might so something bad. I wish I was normal enough to not waste my years with a boring person. I wish I was normal enough to break up with them and feel hurt for a few weeks and move on. I wish I was normal enough to let go of the teeny bit of love I feel to actually live my life. I wish I was normal enough to be okay on my own. Be okay separated from them. It hurts too much. Everything inside is either numb or hurts. It physically hurts. They lovee but what's the use when I don't feel it all the time. It's rare I feel loved very rarely. I don't get turned on by them. I just want to feel free. I want to let go the only love I feel. I don't care about my love for them. It's too consuming and too hurtful. I don't want to feel hurt. Again and again and again. I just want to be okay for sometime atleast.

I'm sorry if anyone finds this hurtful or offensive. I'm just tired. And hurt. And done.