I’m so fucking trapped.  She left me, after cheating on me, left my son with me, 4 years ago.  She’s come back a few times just to fuck my life up more each time she found out I was getting on track or falling in love.  She is now a drug dealer, sex worker, and just overall different human being.  Yet every couple weeks like clockwork she comes to see me.  I’m always fucking putty in her hands.  She then disappears , doesn’t answer calls.  Sometimes she does and she tells me about danger she is in then vanishes.  Leaving me always in a state of complete and total fucking anguish that she is hurt or dead.  Every waking moment is fucking torture on earth for me, and I don’t know if I can take it anymore.  I fucking hate her for it, I hate myself for allowing it, and I fucking hate that my son has to see his Mom killing herself thru bullshit drugs and abusive street urchins and his father waste away in pain and anguish trying to save a woman who can’t/doesn’t want to be saved.  FUCK