My biggest personal downfall is that anytime my SO says something that I disagree with and upsets me and/or makes me angry I HAVE to tell her how she wronged me. This has always been an issue. I get that flash of anger and my blood boils and blow. I have to tell you what was wrong with your statement and defend myself in the most aggressive way possible.

Afterwords I am able to calm myself, trace the issue, discuss and apologize. But it takes a minute. And if there's not immediate remorse then I blow up even more, she will usually defend her stance and I mine for several hours, this turns into an emotional ordeal and eventually someone caves and apologizes and concessions are made.

How do put a lid on that emotional blow up? I could have saved thousands of nights worth of fights if I had just been able to process the true issue and control myself initially. Thank you for any input, I truly want to work on this!