Its been 5 months since my attempt, 5 months since i almost lost my liver and honestly, idk how i feel. I mean i no longer wanna die, but every day is still a struggle. I feel like i either feel amazing or terrible, usually it’s terrible tho. I can’t seem to get along with people. My girlfriend and i both agree i need therapy but my dad hasn’t gotten me into it (being a minor i cant do it myself). My head is cloudy as ever and 97% of the time life feels like a dream. Like nothing is real. Im constantly paranoid of so losing her, and it makes me act crazy sometimes. I keep constantly switching between thinking im better than (almost) everyone and thinking im a literal pos. I mean, im a lot better than i used to be but idk, I constantly feel like i cant do anything right. Like there’s something wrong with me. My school is filled with some if the most insufferable, annoying, disrespectful people on earth(good thing its my last year). And im constantly annoyed by everything. Cant tell if their the problem or if i am. Tbh I don’t even know why im writing this, ig I just need to get my thoughts out to someone and who better than strangers on the internet. Lately ive been watching doctor who and to be honest, i wish I could be like that, going from place to place, observing everyone but mostly being a loner. I just wish I could fit in. I want to be normal. Im tired of feeling like shit and barely being able to thinking. Tired of questioning reality constantly. If you’ve made it this far I want to thank you for reading my incoherent ramblings. Feel free to vent in the comments, especially if you relate to any of this.