I think I have BPD but haven’t gotten a diagnosis and struggle to find a good therapist to open up to about it. I’ve tried BetterHelp and Cerebral. Through cerebral I was diagnosed with ADHD and started some meds that maybe helped but I stopped taking bc of side effects. With this psychiatrist I purposely didn’t open up about BPD struggles for some reason I feel like I need to build trust with someone and it doesn’t feel like I can do that in like 15 min video calls where they’re just kinda listing off questions. 
I also struggle a lot with keeping up with the therapy side of it when I used BetterHelp the therapist was honestly just kind of bad at her job I didn’t feel like she was ever going to understand it. It was just surface level stuff and like here’s a worksheet about coping mechanisms it’s like ok? I could have googled that. 
I’m wondering if people with BPD have a better time with in person therapy? I think it’s what I need I would feel more committed to showing up because with the apps I just keep rescheduling bc it’s so easy to forget about the appt and I don’t feel like I’m getting much out of it or building anything with a therapist and I have a hard time finding the motivation to put effort into doing that.. 
So wondering if anyone has had luck on any mental health apps or should I just look for something IRL that I probably won’t be able to afford and have to stop anyway? I honestly don’t know how to find consistent help which I think I need.