I'm writing here because I don't know where else to write. I have been fighting myself since I was eight and my family went through a traumatic experience that left me emotionally abandoned and trying to take care of my mother's and father's emotional well being. Obviously this was not my responsibility but no one was there to tell me that at 8. Now I'm 36, my wife (we got married right before the pandemic, but were together as a couple for 9 years and we went through some real shit together) hasn't been with me in over two months. I'm just waiting for the divorce paperwork. I can't stand working where I work as a teacher anymore because I can't take care of myself and my students. I've tried to follow my doctor's and psychiatrist's advice, but I am just done. I've wanted to take my life multiple times over the last 28 years, but still care enough about what it will do to the people who love me that I haven't. But I'm lost and don't know what to do. I don't have anyone I feel comfortable venting this too, even those "closest to me" because it's the same shit again and again. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up. #endrant