Hi all, apologies if this doesn’t belong here. I don’t want to upset anyone but thought this community might offer a bit of honest feedback.

I’ve been casually seeing this lovely man, a friend of a friend. We see each other when our friends hang out. I think he’s great and am interested in seeing if our casual thing could be something a little more, but he’s hard to read. When we’re together, he’s engaged and shows interest. But when we’re not physically together, I don’t hear from him for weeks and he seems content to never see or hear from me again (at least that’s how it seems from my vantage point). 

I live by the rule that if he’s not actively pursuing you, he’s just not that into you, and this guy definitely fits the bill. But our mutual friends have shared that he’s had depression most of his adult life and “just can’t” get out of his own way or have the confidence to pursue a woman. I’m happy to be patient and do the pursuing, but I also don’t want to harass this poor man if he’s just not that into me.

What do you think? Am I deluding myself by leaving the door open to a possibility other than he’s just not interested? Even if he is interested, should I just leave him alone and let him be at peace? What would you want in this situation?