Most of my borderline traits I can pinpoint learning or adapting from my mother's behaviors. I've been diagnosed myself. She hasn't, but she also has never seen a mental health care professional- something is wrong with everyone else, but not her 😒

Anyways ,it irritates me that having a borderline diagnosis means you'll be excluded from support groups aimed at people that grew up with borderline parents...after all, didn't many of us that went on to develop bpd learn these traits from somewhere ? I recognize that not everyone with the diagnosis fits this description, but I've definitely been influenced by my mom's lack of coping mechanisms , intense swings from raging to kind/happy, lack of boundaries with relationships and black-and-white thinking. For me, trying to reach remission has had me exploring this dynamic. I love my mom but live halfway across this country, and separating myself is key to unlearning these sorts of behaviors. They get triggered around her.

Honestly, her mistakes are my biggest motivation to get better. As much as I hate the oversimplistic demonizations of our disease, I see where many of them come from and I don't want my children to pick up the maladaptive patterns I did. 

I also understand why pwbpd aren't allowed in support communities for people dealing with an untreated/unresponsive pwbpd but simultaneously I think it ignores the fact that BPD traits often result from being around others with those behaviors, or from childhood trauma.