Where to start.. well I could with the main thing that I am feeling... loneliness. I recently lost my bestfriend because I decided to confess my feelings for her. She was the only person I really talked to about anything and I blew it by getting my emotions in the way. We both have a lot going on and I thought now would be the time to confess guess it wasn't. So now I am just lonely and the depression is really getting to me. I was always depressed even before all this. I have a low wage job a non existent family, no friends. I don't know what to do anymore. I joined a coding bootcamp 2 months ago to finally get a chance of being financially free and now it is really difficult to concentrate. I just read over the material and all I think about is life and how depressing it is. I need to make friends and enjoy life. I am tired of being alone I need happiness for once. All Ive ever had is extreme sadness and never extreme happiness. My life has been with all struggles from health issues from my spine so I could barely walk and people would make fun of me all limping when it actually hurt. All life I have been poor my mom made like 500 a month while growing up and everyone judged me for being poor and this led me to be antisocial, I can't even keep a conersation going for more than like 2 minutes. I really am a joke. I need advice on how to improve. I can't make friends online or at work. I am always the depressed guy who rarely talks. I tried talking to co workers and they make fun of me when I am not there saying " he is really talkative today! Kinda weird!" I hate my job I hate everything. Why can't I ever be a normal person with normal happiness and friends and family?