To get the story straight, I fully blame myself for this one and I just hate it so so much. I met my bf at a concert and we just hu. I never really expected it to go anywhere but he was really nice but lived an hour away. That was really hard for a while because I always would tell myself that it was fine and I didn't care if he saw anyone on the side but I did. We only talk through sc but he never wanted to have real convos. I was really waiting until summer so we can hang out whenever we wanted but there was one incident that made me fuck it up. On his story he mentioned he was hanging out with a girl, and I went onto her acc to see that it was his ex. I couldn't take that, and fucking blocked him on everything. I never mentioned it when I unblocked him and just told him that we shouldn't see each other anymore. Now we never talk and I made everything awkward. Maybe I should've told him about BPD and shit but I really miss him and I am just devastated that I don't have anyone anymore. I'm sorry thank you. IDK what to do.