We've been together for a month. The first two weeks were amazing, because he was snowed in basically and worked very little. I work less than most people, so we spent tons of time together. 
Then things got hectic and changed, back to work, and real life... I felt I was having a hard time accepting the changes, but I tried to stay open. I knew it was because I got used to things how they were, we established a sense of normalcy that doesn't fit into our daily lives. 
Because in the very beginning he was there, always, being loving, being kind, telling me how much he likes me, how much he feels lucky, losing that was cruel - I didn't realize I was using that as validation, except when it was gone - and I missed it a lot.
During all that I'm trying to keep communications open, honest and fluid - despite feeling self-conscious, improper, broken, for feeling the way I felt (unloved, unwanted).
Some minor things happened - I was waking up for work super early and would wake up even earlier so we could spend some time together; one day he was late, like 15, 20 minutes, and it upset me, because we were having those crazy busy weeks and here I was, waking at 4:40 in the morning to spend some time with him, less than an hour, and he was late... like he didn't value my effort. We talked it through and solved it, ok. Then I had some episodes with myself: feeling fearful of exposing myself, afraid he would leave for realizing what a mess I am, yatta yatta, etc. Throughout all that, trying to convey my feelings, because it's the right thing to do... 
After the insane week we both had, and feeling distant from him, I was looking forward to spending the weekend together. We have 9h between ourselves, living in different parts of the world... I was waiting for him to wake up. His brother calls and he says he'll be spending time with his brother. Nothing to be mad about, if you're sane and healthy, I guess... the circumstances upset me, because after the hell of a week I had, I only wanted to spend time with him - sit down, talk and after getting through all the "work", we could actually enjoy each others company. I felt angry and I told him I wish I didn't, that it doesn't make sense, being angry for this, but that's how I felt... ended up being ok with it - it gave me the opportunity to go to bed earlier. I wasn't mad anymore.
He told me he would wake up extra early today so he could make it up to me... I look on Instagram (fucking social media, not healthy for people like us) and it says he was online 21 minutes ago. He says hi around the time he said he would wake up, I don't feel like answering. Checking his second message, he says "can I please sleep a little bit more, I'm super tired"... this man tells me I'm the first thing in his mind when he wakes up. When I wake up the first thing I do is check our chats, to see what he wrote (these days, if he wrote, actually...), but he wakes up before the time he said he would, and instead of writing me, calling me, or at least thinking "she's probably waiting, I'm gonna say hi and surprise her", he checks a social media he's not even active in. - and this seems absolutely stupid... to be upset over this. I was rude, hostile even, towards him, and I DON'T LIKE BEING THIS WAY. 
In between those minor issues that made me feel awful, we talked and solved them, but then when the next thing happens, it seems my idiot emotions are using those new "failures", that aren't failures really, to validate my darkness - he's not that into me, he's taking me for granted, I'm always here, I always forgive, he got used to having me around and he's not that responsive or attentive anymore...

Now I feel I need a break. to get to a point where I'm almost attacking him, it's not what I want... it's not how I wanna do things.
I don't know if I can do LDR - because every single minor shit that happens, gets me completely out of myself, plummets my energy, makes me feel unloved and then, makes me feel sick - because it seems that in the real world, where people are sane and healthy, none of this would be an issue.
Relationships are hard for us, but in person, you can try and solve things faster... at least. with LDR there's a bigger space of time where you have to wait for someone to be awake, online, or rested enough to approach sensitive topics; and while I wait, my feelings are in disarray. you guys know all about emotional pain, agony and anguish.

I fell for him. I think there's so much potential for us. he seems to be patient, loving, understanding... but I don't feel healthy enough, sane enough, proper enough to be with someone... I feel I'm making a mess out of things all the fucking time. either that, or hiding what I'm feeling, which isn't what I do, really.

what I hate the most is that I can't tell what's real - what is a real cause to be upset? Those minor issues seem like things that wouldn't upset people that are healthier than me, so am I being a drama queen, am I making a problem out of something that isn't even an issue? I just DON'T KNOW, and it kills me.

I was in remission and it all came back recently. with a spice of anxiety attacks. it's frustrating because I thought I was over many of those things... 
yes, I'm looking for professional help. but I thought that maybe someone around here would have something helpful to say on the matter.

I send light to everyone.
We're strong. Don't forget it.