So I always do the same thing over and over again: I have a relatively good day, with obvious minor ups and downs, and I can go a few hours not having any bad (splitting, negative, suicidal) thoughts. &amp; then all of a sudden I think about or realize something that hurts me deeply that someone (or multiple ppl) has done / continues to do to me - something that is a pattern and I’ve called them out on it numerous times, without any changes / validation / acknowledgment. 

So in that moment I start feeling furious, im going over in my head the thing that hurts me, why it hurts me, how many times I’ve brought it up, why nothing is being done about it….etc. &amp; that’s when it gets really extreme - I start spiralling about peoples perceptions of me “they gaslight me and therefore think I’m overreacting, they think I’m insecure, they think I’m over exaggerating” even though I KNOW that my point is valid (it’s just never acknowledged by the ppl around me / their behaviours don’t change). 

So I go through all these thoughts in my head, alone, with absolutely no one to comfort or validate me. And I’m left with a feeling of anger and sadness that I basically caused my own self to have because of my own self-induced spiral. 

In those moments, what should I do? 

Writing this post definitely helps me calm my emotions but I’m still angry and feel like I’m gonna stay this way until I once again express my feelings to the people involved. I know it’s not good to keep things in because then it comes out one way or another through frustration. But I also feel like folks with BPD just constantly get gaslit even if their reasons for their intense emotions are valid.