I am soo sorry for this trauma dump I can't hold this in anymore plsss don't read this if u don't want to.Idk wat is going on, I can't study like I can't even sit there for more than 10 minutes even for my favorite subjects. I am in clg rn and I have exams this Friday and I am not even taking this seriously am not even stressed I just feel hopeless and tired, not suicidal. I used to be suicidal but I worked my way out of it , am pissed at myself for that. I just want this to stop, I don't feel like myself ,I can't even enjoy dance which I loved , I don't even feel like dying, I don't feel like talking even that is tiring, I am sleeping 24/7 , I am not eating properly ,not working out properly, not Journaling. I am not sure if am lazy , am not sure if it's because am not pushing myself hard enough or if am not being kind enough, I really wanna try but I feel like a rock , a huge heavy rock. Idk if this is because of my phone , maybe my parents r ryt . I really wanna talk to someone and get help but I am scared to ask for it , my mom will just tell me to pray, my dad may help but I am not comfortable in telling him all this. I am scared that a therapist will judge me, like what if am actually lazy and this is just my body's way of covering it up. Idk dude the only thing that makes me happy is my dog baby . But becoz of this tiredness I am hurting ppl , I hold a bit of responsibilities in my clg and am not doing anything ryt , it was my sister's birthday and I was not satisfied by how it turned out, am hurting my future self. I need to pull myself out from this stupid hole but to make it all worse I got comfortable here , am soooo scared to feel better. Idk wat to do, idk how this app works but if anyone can tell me wat is going on with me it would be really helpful. please