For the last couple of years, I had set myself a goal to get into a nursing program. I had always wanted to be in healthcare and I thought maybe it’s where I should aim at. 

Prior to that, I was basically a college student with horrible grades and suffered so much from depression that I would spend most days staring at the walls/ceiling of my dorm room rather than go to lectures. 

To no one’s surprise, that killed my grades. 

Prior to setting myself the goal to get into nursing, I knew that the only way to do so was to fight this depression with everything I got. In two years, lots of mental breakdowns and many sleepless nights. I managed to get a 4.0 GPA in all my classes (96% average) during to the two year stretch. But I still wasn’t happy. 

In fact, when I got the news I got accepted into the program, I was very much indifferent. It more like a relief that I got in but not happiness. 

When some of my colleagues graduated, they all seemed so happy and proud but I was just blank. 

I felt nothing and it hurts, because I want to feel like I achieved something. But somehow nothing matters to me anymore.