This is so embarrassing for me to type out but this is my big secret.

I used to self harm back when i was in 7th grade (only on my left arm i never dared to cut any other part of my body except my thigh once). I was struggling severely with depression and i felt absolutely empty so one night i did it. And i didn’t stop. This went on for the whole year until i stopped when things started to get better for me. I’ve grown and i now regret everything about it, i honestly cry sometimes realizing how i’ve slightly ruined my beautiful tanned arm with horrible slashes from a pencil sharpener blade. It hurts me so bad because i want to get them removed when i’m older, i can’t bear to live my life knowing i have ugly scars on my arm, it makes me feel less feminine and mentally sick and i don’t want people knowing i was in a bad place when i was a child. I’ve been planning on getting intimate with this boy and i’m horrified if he catches his eye on them and starts thinking he’s hooking up with a crazy chic because i’m nothing like that and i want to be loved and i still want to feel beautiful. Every time i look at them i want to start crying i wish i never felt that alone to the point where i ruined myself like that.