About a month ago my estranged father passed from covid. He had been abusive, and i cut contract with him and his parents about 5 ish years ago. I found out through the grape vine of my cousins. Thankfully they reached out to let me know what was happening. I have been no contact with him for 5 years, and pretty much mourned the loss of my father before it happened.  

But now that he is actually gone, I'm struggling more than ever. I work and come home. That's it. I struggle to sleep, food has no taste, and everything seems so dull and uninteresting.

I've struggled with depression before, done the meds thing, but they never seemed to help. I'm starting to be afraid of being alone again. What I might do. So I think it's time to get help. 

Traditional therapy want something I was good at or really cared for, had anyone used virtual therapy i.e: cerebral, talks pace etc? If it helps I have no insurance and can't afford $200+ a week my local options have.  Has anyone had some good experiences with the apps? 

TIA for any input. Everything is very hard for me right now I appreciate any help.