I'd sell my soul to get rid of this fear of a abandonment, it's so crippling.

I broke down multiple times today, it's overwhelming me and becoming unbearable. I did hide it though!

I wanna ask my friends but that'll just push them away :/ I've already asked multiple times too.

I'm very afraid, I really need their genuine comfort and reassurance, I'm very afraid they're leaving me, I'm so afraid they're gonna lose their feelings for me. 

God I hope this is a bad dream and I just wake up soon. 

Anywaaaay how do I deal with excruciating mental agony :)