I am toxically possessive. It’s illogical, it’s shit because I get bitchy, it’s unfair + makes me an asshole, but every time I even get the mere impression that someone else is trying to get close to people who were friends with me before, I take it EXTREMELY personally. It also comes automatically and uncontrolled even though I hate it whenever I adhere to these thoughts.

It’s like I loathe myself so much internally that I’m almost sure my friends would abandon me in a heartbeat for someone who seems better than me. Which is pretty much anyone else. 

I always had this “what’s mine is MINE” mentality to an extreme. I usually do not lash out but I still feel like absolute dogshit and let out the intense emotions on my own self. 

Does anyone relate to this?