There's a lot I want to say, but I don't have the time for it atm, so I'll simplify it as best I can.

A little over three years ago, I had my first (fall) semester of college, at my dream place. But things didn't go as planned, and I lost everything. Due to being viciously gaslighted and cyber-bullied by my program director, I withdrew, returned home, only to find all my old friends and family turned against me and abandoned me emotionally, leading to me spiraling and having a nervous breakdown. My parents got me therapy, but it wasn't quite in time, as my anxiety disorder was no longer manageable and I developed an "adjustment disorder" - and had severe paralyzing anxiety for a few months.

Fast forward a year and a half, and I returned to that college with online classes (because COVID), although transferred to a major I enjoy. The first semester back was rough, due to tension headaches, etc, and being on academic probation until the end of last semester, but my health kept improving after that and it seemed like I'd be able to spend time with my friends there before they graduated, and get closure for that first semester.

Which brings us to now. This semester is when I'm supposed to reconnect with my college (and some online) friends, have a mediated meeting with that bastard director to get closure, and continue to use school counseling/resources to do well and reclaim my confidence/life back at the end of the semester.

But now that might not be happening for a stupid reason.

I was supposed to move in before/during the first week of classes. My dad flew up with me to help me get settled, but that didn't happen as he got overly paranoid about the snowy weather, covid, and a virtual start to the semester, not allowing me to get those things done. So instead, I was stuck in a hotel room during that week, and, as I didn't have personal space from him, his paranoia broke down my confidence and filled my brain with white noise, with the experience re-triggering my adjustment disorder, making it insanely hard to even start or work on my assignments, despite them being easy things I've done before, and I'm falling behind. The penalty-free drop deadline was last week, which I maybe should've taken as I'm back home, but there didn't seem to be any good options for my mental health here besides continuing with the semester and returning later this week, when in-person classes start to resume. 

I have yet to tell my professors about the adjustment disorder (it's hard even telling them because of how shameful it makes me feel) and get more counseling/maybe update accommodations, which might change things, but I'm just so exhausted and scared. There aren't really any good options at this point, and if things go bad, I'll probably be regressing back to a shut-in since life's getting too overwhelming for me.