I am a late diagnosis BPD who has had extensive support and was up until late last year stable for nearly a decade. I am still partly functional as in working, have not fallen into dangerous impulses consistently, but am highly unstable and self-destructive - still journaling even and writing just tools not working anymore due to nature of crisis. Due to previous therapy plus the fact I have experience with being stable the NHS have basically told me I should go private unless I am actively planning on suicide.

I have the income luckily, but this is just a field I am finding it impossible to navigate without it feeling random. Can anyone give any input on common problems they faced here and the processes private therapists go through?

I would effectively I guess be looking for psychotherapy since that is what worked best for me in the past. Current crisis doesn't functional well for DBT methods as its highly external and self-hatred rooted in which I have little power, so both of them just embed further crisis. I have been advised some additional therapy types by wonderful people on here to. But beyond picking a BPD specialist and some additional little pieces of experience  I would want I have no clue what I am doing and need to get this right.