I've been telling myself I'm fine for a while now, but the last week has been rough and I can tell my mental health has been a little bit rockier recently. It's been gradually getting worse since September.

Lately I've been hypersensitive to everything and have been becoming triggered easily and have had a hard time being in the present because of mild flashbacks. And my anxiety and insomnia are definitely worsening and my thoughts have been getting slightly darker.

After residential treatment February-March I did a PHP and IOP treatment program, and as an alumni there are free support groups available to me. I was thinking, "Well I could try one group and see how it goes," but apparently I have to register for 6 weeks. I mean it's only Wednesday nights but it still feels like an intimidating commitment.

Most of their groups are related to eating disorders since that is the main thing they treated, so mood groups are limited. There's one for anxiety and depression support so if I do a group that's what I would end up doing. But I'm sure the skills mentioned would still be useful and I'm guessing process time could still be useful. Plus there's a trained professional who leads the groups so I'm sure at the very least their input during process could be helpful even if I'm talking about flashbacks or dissociation and no one can relate. But when I was in PHP and IOP I wouldn't say everyone in the mood program only had anxiety and depression so it's possible other people would have more complex problems. Although group size is limited to a maximum of 15 people so I don't know. During PHP the most people ever in my group was like 7 total though and process was helpful with them.

It would probably be good for me to have a formal support group once a week, but I'm very apprehensive and nervous about it. It's the fact that registration is required that makes me hesitant to at least try it since it feels like a big commitment. Even though that probably makes it a more useful program for consistency.

I just feel like I need an extra push to work up the courage to register.