So I really really love this girl, i'm sure alot of us here have felt these emotions towards our SO. We feel these things so deeply and while it can have both its ups and downs, I feel like most of us have also probably, unintentionally hurt our loved ones, again probably more than once. This girl is the love of my life and when I went through my bad spell, I got hospitalized twice and tried to kill myself twice, she broke up with me. I don't know how to hold onto her because she doesn't want this to be over and neither do I, I just don't want to hurt her, but without her, i'm dead, I don't feel alive without her. I don't know, this BPD has caused so many problems not only in my life but in my relationships with others. I just wish I could be better and I am trying but its so fucking hard to lose yourself and then not have the love of your life, your support, the only person who you have ever kissed or loved, its unbearable, I miss her so much, it sucks, but I get it, I can be a mess sometimes, to be honest most of the time, I just miss her so very much, its so ridiculous.