I'm fairly new here, so hi.

Disclaimer, I actually haven't been diagnosed yet, but after years and years of trying to figure out what's wrong with me after countless relationship failures, life mishaps, and overall "life REALLY hates me" trumping most of my life, I'm 1000% sure that this is the reason why. So I guess I'm a baby borderline.

I know that it's not good to say stuff like that if not diagnosed yet, but the one reason I can't get diagnosed is because I was raised in a super strict, traditional family that believes anything less than good mental health makes one "crazy" and that feeling emotions less than happy would be a form of "overreacting"... ouch. 

I'm sorry, I know I should get diagnosed soon. I will, I promise. I just have to get out of my house for a while and hopefully find a good doctor who can guide me and help me get better soon. In my country, there are not a lot of shrinks who genuinely want to help and aren't money sharks--much less in my city.

Truth be told, I'm kind of worried, especially since I've read a lot of articles and stories about BPD. Most people tend to have a bad impression of this disorder, and I'm scared that this may affect my future in any way. It has affected how I've lived my life thus far, and also my relations with the people around me. Like, I don't think I've kept much friends over the years because of my lashing out or pushing people away, and that's... not good. I've sabotaged things for myself that could have gone really good, and needless to say, I am pretty desperate to turn that around and have a chance to live well.

It's very nice to know there's a sub like this, and a community of fellow borderlines and people who care. I know it's not very realistic to say I can get better very fast, but I just hope I can get well soon. I hope for a great start and a good shot at recovery ahead to all of us!