Hi Reddit,

I know I'm trash for doing this, but I need to back out of my friend's wedding next week. It's a back yard bbq, all home made / potluck food, 3k miles away, no dress code. I am the maid of honor. 

I have recently dealt with a series of bad incidents, back to back, after years of other shitty things. Anyways, last month I really nosedived into depression and have spent the better part of every day crying. I am a fucking mess. I'm trying to get my shit together and finally started seeing a psych and therapist around 3 weeks ago.  But, to be honest, 3 weeks is nothing for the shit I'm trying to pull out of, it's fucking dark and feels like it'll never end.  

I basically feel like I can't see any "good" stuff on the horizon. I am happy for my friend, but I don't see this event as fun time off of work, enjoyable, and definitely not relaxing or something that I actually want to do. I would go out of obligation. I thought I could choke it down, but more recently, I don't think I can bare it, I need time off this year. 

How can I communicate this information in the least shitty way possible? I want to remain friends.