Why does life slaps me like I'm now? It was too painful for me back then. I kept it secret. No one knows because I was nothing I wasn't worthy of. 
I planned and destroyed everything, detached from everyone, just to suicide. 
Why did that happens to me on the day I was about to suicide. 
That becomes so much painful for me. Maybe some things are better left unsaid. Why did I say that why why!!! It brings more and more pain? 
Maybe the misery or the chaos was better. 
Why did I say that? Why!!!