I don't like sleeping, because attempting to sleep reminds me that I'm alone. 

I don't like waking up from being asleep once I actually make it to sleep, because then I have to face the bullshit of the day.

Every night I long to just have someone holding me, loving me, but no one is here.

I keep my phone in my face until I'm exhausted to keep from having to deal with the lonely feelings.

I've been working on about 5 hours of sleep today. Been up since 6am now. It's almost 2:30am. I'm so tired but I don't want to face how alone I feel, how much I just want to be touched and held and loved on. 

I feel like I'll never get my sleeping in order until I'm in another committed relationship with someone who I trust, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. 

I just want to sleep. But I want to be loved and wanted by someone I connect with more.

End whine.