My stbxw has recently gotten a bf. It's been over 10 months since she separated from me. I've been working so damn hard to get better and put my mind in a good state for once. Once I knew she was seeing someone it's like the new world I built in my head was just a paper cut out and immediately blew away.

I can't stop thinking of how happy they are together. I'm happy she's happy but obviously I'm depressed beyond anything I've felt before. Its this overwhelming wave of sadness washing over all the memories we have and they are just being replaced with all the ones of seeing them together. 

I'm trying to get out and date again but it's so hard when I think about how perfect she was and no one will ever be like her. And I know, that completely sets up any relationship I could have for failure. It's just another thing I need to work on. 

I don't really have anyone to talk to because no one I know has dated for over 7 years then fucked it all up and made your SO decide that life was better without you. So there isn't a lot of advice I can gain.

I'm continually falling in and out of "it would just be better if I wasn't here" thoughts. The only reason I haven't is because my 2 girls. I basically live for them. Another thing I need to work on. Fuck feelings.