I wasn't sure whether to post here or maybe at r/anxiety, but I was kinda curious if any fellow borderlines get this too or if it's just me?

Anyways, I get these tiny flashbacks to painful stuff. *Definitely* nothing that can be considerer trauma. Just normal memories, except where I did/said something awkward or made some poor decisions or something. Just stuff I REALLY want to forget. They hit me literally anywhere at anytime. And when it happens, it's so overwhelming that is seems like I'm literally IN the moment, and when I fade back to reality, I find myself repeating words over and over again (usually "no" or "stop") or I'm gripping something tightly or both. These used to only happen in private, when I'd be sitting alone thinking and then bop! A flashback happens. Now they happen *everywhere* any time I'm left to my own thoughts. It's gotten to the point where they happen in public, or with people I know, and I embarass myself by going into a zombie state and saying things out loud. They only happen for a few seconds though, thank God.

I don't know if "flashback" is even the right word for this, or if this is like another form of dissociation or what. I'm just really exhausted and stressed by this and was wondering if anyone out there can relate. I know everybody has those moments where they remember something cringey they did, but this is definitely different, and I'm so confused as to what it is and if I'm the only one going through this hell.