tldr: Felt disrespected and picked on by shop owner, and threw away great opportunity because i’m “too sensitive.”

I (20F) apprenticed at a shop for less than a week to see if it was a good fit for me. The first 3 days I loved, I felt like I really connected with the girls (all female staff) despite the regular anxiety of being the new kid thrown into a group who are all friends already. I spent my time doing what was asked of me, asking questions about the work and the girls to get to know them and learn more about the positions. 

Here’s where it went wrong. 

On my 4th day the owner walked in the room after me, and said “You smell like cigarettes.” I replied with “Okay?” because I had just smoked one and came back in. I thought it was weird to point out as i’m not the only one who smokes. 
She said “It’s gross”. I said “I’m sorry?” Like what do you want me to do? So she hands me perfume and said “Go spray yourself. Get up, go.” and I hesitantly picked it up to go, on my way out she said “Don’t smoke so much” with a disgusted face. 

Mind you I had only taken one smoke break in the past 4 hours. I don’t even take lunch breaks. I don’t eat there. I take 2-3 smoke breaks a day, lasting between 5-7 minutes. I was there 8 hours a day. 

Later, the owner asks me to do something, didn’t like how I did it after 2 seconds, ripped it from my hands and said “No. You’re doing a bad job” and gave it to the woman next to me. 

At some point she added “for the record, no open toed shoes in the shop. Only I can wear flip flops because it’s my shop.” Which i had been wearing for those first 3 days and nobody mentioned a dress code. Everyone but the receptionist was in open toed shoes. 

Then comes closing. The first day, I wasn’t meant to clean anything. The second day, the receptionist who usually cleans showed me how and I did it. They gave me the okay to go home. The third day, I cleaned how she showed me the day prior. 

The fourth day though. I went to clean how I was taught the passed 2 days. The owner had me walk around with her and picked at every single thing I didn’t do (and wasn’t told to). It took me an entire hour extra to go back around and clean it all. Every thing she pointed out she said “You missed that, why isn’t that done, that’s not cool” with an added “This is your job dude take it seriously.” 

I walked in the room behind her while she talked to my mentor and said “You know i’m sorry I didn’t do all of xyz, nobody told me to. I didn’t know. “ My mentor kindly said it’s okay it’s okay go do it please. When I was done I left without saying bye or anything. Cried in my car and the whole hour ride home.  I sobbed all night about feeling bullied or like the owner crossed a line with me. 

The next morning I got a text from my mentor saying she’s heard on multiple occasions from all the other girls that I gave faces and attitude when asked to do tasks, when in reality I was nothing but kind, inquisitive, curious, and enthusiastic. I was so excited to have this experience I was as respectful as possible and did everything I possibly could have. That fourth day was the only day I wasn’t showing happiness, because of all the comments made I kept my head down all day, stayed silent unless spoken to, and said I’m sorry and It won’t happen again as a reply to anything the owner said to me through the day. I never talked back. I left my face expressionless and smiled when interacting with others who wasn’t the owner. 

I responded to my mentor with “If my sensitivity is something that bothers those around me I may not be a good fit. I won’t learn everything in less than one week. Thank you for this opportunity and what you’ve taught me thus far, but I won’t be coming in.” 

Am I overreacting?