I just hit something hard, I mean I've been numb before, the loss of feelings has even killed relationship. But after the breakup of the best bf i've ever had, numb has been more common (Keep in mind it's been abt a week so far) well lately with how he's acted and everything and because he even said so, I thought we had a chance to work again in the future (We broke up because he is suffering mental issues) well today, he told me he actually lost feelings, (I also had a small issue with a close friend over lying and smoking) and I flipped, all my past trauma clicked in right there, all the past exes and friends and just people who lied and left me, it all hit again. which it's crazy to me he triggered it but maybe it's because of the connection i once shared with him, but hearing that he lied when he said a couple days before that he still loved me and just was struggling at the time, and all the little flirting and care he's shown feels so contradicting to the point  everything clicked off, I cried it all out and the emotions wont come back but not even the emotions feel gone. I feel like I lost my soul. Like I was just blackout drunk my whole life and i just woke up and only recall blurry scenes from my life. And it's all gone.  I've distanced myself from a few close friends and rn only have my bsf and sister im Really talking to.  I cant tell if i fucked up or what, but it all is so hazy and confusing, I lost whhat im doing. and Idk what this is or what to do to somehow bend up a better person out of this. It's awfully terrifying and it's making me so light headed.