This is something I contemplate a lot and even more so in the last year. I've dropped so low and I barely cope, barely leave the house, barely live and so I am very isolated. I think a lot of this has to do with how ashamed I am of the situation I am in and the fact that I feel like I can't explain it to people. I'm so scared that if I begin telling people that I'm struggling with a mental illness called BPD that they will just think I'm crazy and I will always have this label on me.

&amp;#x200B;

I know and have met many people who are bi-polar and they are very open about their diagnosis, sometimes I'm jealous. Obviously, that's not fair because they have their own struggles but so many people know about bipolar that they don't seem judged for it (for the most part.) Or is it just because I don't judge them that I feel this way? I'm not sure. I just hate living with this big lie that ultimately feels like a disability because it is inhibiting my life so much but I can't let anyone know.