I’m suffering from severe depression and I am at odds end with the numbness, helplessness, and irritability I’m experiencing. I feel as though I am alone in my feelings and the intense physical side affects that depression has on me. I could be fine one moment, and the next I wish I wasn’t alive. I don’t want to kill myself, I just wish I didn’t exist. 
Nevertheless, I am at a point where medication for my depression and a good therapist (as well as lifestyle changes) are the route I need to take. My only worry is the affects that anti-depressants will have on me. I know that “pills don’t make skills”, but that they take a little weight off your shoulders so you can manage to get through it. Im afraid of becoming a zombie, numb to things (in a different manner than depression does). I’d love to here your folks thoughts. Thank you