I just made the biggest move and decision of my life. Last week I packed my bags and moved half way across the world to teach in South Korea. This was a hard and easy decision to make. I say hard because I have a preexisting medical condition POTS, and at some points I thought this would be Impossible to accomplish.

Everything was going fine. I jumped on the plane, traveled 24+hrs and landed in Seoul. With Covid, there are increasing restrictions and with my medical condition its just icing on top of the cake. 

First, they need to check your temperature and make sure you don't have a fever. I'm surprised I passed. Next, after a day or two you need to get a COVID test. If you have covid they take you to a facility and monitor you. AFTER, when your 14day quarantine is over you go for a health test to make sure you're good and have no drugs. As you can see, there are a lot of steps, which I was already very anxious about. 

When I landed and arrived in my Airbnb everything was fine, until the day before my COVID test. I started experiencing shortness of breath, or air hunger. I would be sitting down and suddenly have the urge to breath deeply. I was never gasping for air, but felt an urge to breath. Like if I didn't I would suffocate, but I knew I was fine. This was the time I had ever experienced something like this.

Anxiety runs in my family, and I've always been a very very anxious person. Sometimes my anxiety stops me from doing things. My palms sweat, heart races and I get dizzy. However, shortness of breath is an entirely new symptom.

I got my results back (negative) and my SOB has gradually gotten better. At first I thought it was covid and they detect it, which can happen. However, after a quick Google I found out if your only symptom is SOB the probability of it being Covid is extremely low. I forgot to mention I'm also a little bit of a hypochondriac.  

Next, I thought it might be the pollution. The air quality in Seoul has been terrible the last few days, in the red zone. I wore a mask indoors but it didn't really seems to help. After, I thought maybe it's allergies or I have a chest cold. My nose is blocked and I do have mucus in my throat. It's possible, but it seems unlikely. I can still breath out of my nose, but with a little difficulty

I remembered that I'm also anemic, and one of the signs for low iron is shortness of breath. I started taking my iron pills again, but this has never been a symptom for me. Finally it thought it might be my beta blockers that are lowering my blood pressure too much. 

Just writing this is making me realise how crazy I sound. I worry about the smallest thing and try to find solutions.  I realised what all these conclusions has in common, anxiety over having Covid and failing my medical exam. Not to mention, fear of not being able to teach properly due to my condition

As I mentioned, I never had shortness of breath due to anxiety before. This is a first for me. When I'm not thinking about breathing, it's better for a little bit. But as soon I wonder about it, bam! I need to breath in. I've also been constantly yawning. 

I found a post on this sub about deep breath exercises and how they help. I gave it shot earlier and it seems to have helped calm me down a little. My breathing is better, but I'm still having some issues about it. Not to mention, my HR has also been higher than normal today. 

This wasn't an easy decision to make, and now with my short as of breath I have more anxiety over that. I'm very frustrated and angry at myself. I know this is something that I can't necessarily control, but it makes me feel ashamed and disappointment that I've gotten this far, only to be pulled back by something like this. It just adds onto my stress of teaching which I'm really excited to try. I've always wanted to teach ESL, this wasn't a random decision. I