I've been with my SO for a little over two years. He has BPD ( I do not), but he did not receive a diagnosis until about 3 months ago, though he's been working with a therapist for the last year (and others for years before that). Since accepting this diagnosis, he's been doing really well. In the past, he lied to me constantly through out our relationship, mostly about things he was ashamed of, or about things that he should have been doing but wasn't (going to work, for example). He's struggled in dealing with symptoms relating to his BPD, but he's doing so much better, and I'm working with a therapist and am in CoDA myself, in attempts to get over my own codependency issues, as well as to try to do my part in creating a healthy relationship dynamic with my SO. Things have been so much better recently that I started to get nervous about how *calm* things were, compared to the past. I've been setting healthy boundaries for myself, and he's been working on dealing with his episodes in much healthier ways. Things have slowly, but consistently, been looking up. So when I recently found out that he lied to me about quitting DBT, I was very hurt and upset. When I found out, I told him I knew and asked him about it. He said that the group he was in wasn't working for him, and he wanted to try some others, but he didn't want to tell me he quit for fear of me leaving him or me thinking that he wasn't serious about recovery. He said he wanted to put a plan in place for a different kind of therapy (Schema or EDMR) before he told me about quitting his current DBT program. I am not upset that he quit therapy if that particular group doesn't work for him, but the lying is so hard to take, and it's really eroded the trust in our relationship. For those of you with BPD, have you ever had a problem with lying to your SO? Have you sought therapy? Did that help? What are some ways that you and your partner have built trust in your relationships? I've never given my partner a reason to distrust me, but I know trust is a struggle in general for those who are battling BPD. I want to be able to have an open, honest relationship with him, but I fear if he can't be honest and open with me, especially about things that he thinks might upset me, then we will never have a healthy relationship and/or an even playing field. I have to set boundaries with lying, and while I do not want to leave him, I fear I will not have a choice if it continues. Any advice from those of you who are actively working towards recovery and have struggled with the issue of lying in the past? 