Hey everybody,

it’s too much. The pain in my chest, the feeling of emptiness, suicidal thoughts the drugs. It seems like it‘s only getting worse and worse. I can‘t trust in anybody or anything, cuz I kind of don‘t know what’s real and what‘s not. My parents are really worried about the situation.
I just want it to end no matter how.

I already had several ADs and neuroleptics. Most of them didn‘t help, but when they did, it didn’t last more than two weeks after I felt better.

I had my depression diagnosed when I was 16 (20 years old now). Eversince I was and still am consuming different drugs of all kind now and then for example Ecstasy, Coke, Speed and Acid.

I smoke weed everyday and often. Recently I stopped using opioids, which I also had nearly everyday.

At this point I feel like I can’t trust myself anymore you know?

Just wanted to let that out.