i live in a very small and messed up country with full-on toxicity. I am not being stubborn or finding joy in my Miserables. I am struggling and need help like everyone else, even though it looks like I don't, but it's just me who always gets blamed for being suicidal or for anyone not helping me. Do I look that strong for people to fucking misunderstand me and treat me like shit. It's like
 
" Well it will not getting better if u are not taking help even there is no help u can reach so may be u just deserve it "