I’m constantly detached with reality, to the degree that nothing matters to me. There’s a huge void inside me that never gets full. 

There’s days when I’m so desperate to feel something, that I try and destroy the few things I love, in order to feel the sadness of it being taken away.

This is something that makes all my relationships tank as soon as we get past the “honey moon” phase. I just get this loss of interest and wanting for more; despite me not knowing what it is I’m looking for. 

Then after we break up, I get this massive wave of lonely ness and emptiness and I want to feel something, so I get angry and resentful. The odd part is that I kind of like it, I like feeling angry and almost want to give into the pain.

Does anyone else feel this way? Is there a way to make this go away?