Ok so this might be long. I’m diagnosed w bpd.

I feel like I don’t know who I am, so I try to focus on other people. And I think “wow I really like this person.” But I have the same cycle of liking them a lot for like 3 weeks and then feeling indifferent and disgusted by them and break up with them, only to come crawling back hours later. Is this even BPD? Or am I just crazy and will never form a meaningful relationship??