I have felt repulsive for months and randomly tonight I looked in the mirror and liked what I saw? I feel happy in my chest and face. I feel like I’m going through some sort of mania but I am trying to stay calm and not make a fool out of myself. I am also sober from all drugs and alcohol and I’ve been really feeling like relapsing tonight. (I’m not going to relapse) Diagnosed w BPD and bipolar but idk which I have honestly. I know I am a narcissist but I also hate myself sometimes and I don’t like to be a bad person I try to be good to everyone. This is a stupid ass post I will probably end up deleting it because I’m problematic.