So my life is relatively happy and stable at the moment and oh my god I am plagued with this horrible restlessness where I just feel like life is empty and there’s nothing interesting to do and sometimes I’ll just get this horrible restless feeling in my chest that’s agonizing. 

My doctor thought there was an aspect of akathesia to it so she put me on propranolol but it’s not helping and now it’s just psychological boredom. To make matters worse I had a conflict with my boyfriend and now I’ve been having panic attacks for over 12 hours (I really wish I saved the klonopin I was prescribed a couple months ago instead of dumping it because oh my god I am in agony). 

But I just get so bored and restless sometimes that life just feels so empty and like I’m waiting to die. I’m not depressed, I’m like never sad, but I’m so so so restless. And it’s physical restlessness too. Like this horrible feeling inside me screaming for me to satiate it. 

Is this part of bpd or can I pray it’s just akathesia and it’ll go away? 

Also if it is, does anyone know how to fix it? It’s making life agony. I think rn I also have a pretty relaxed life so hopefully next year when I graduate I’ll be a lot more busy, and when I have kids eventually that will also make me busy and thus satiate the feeling, but until then idk what to do