To be brief, I keep bringing up my fears of future abandonment to my BFF in like the WORST possible ways and it’s happening like every day. I’ll be fine then see them and tear up and they ask what’s wrong and then like...I’ll just go on a total tirade. It takes hours for us to both calm down after because we usually end up arguing. And I know I’m so rude in those moments but at the same time within a few minutes after I already forget what I just said and I feel better and don’t understand why they don’t. I realize that I need to keep my rants in. But how? They seem irrational in hindsight but in the moment I almost like enjoy being a total ass and definitely feel justified doing it. It makes me feel like a mean person but I know I’m not and that I don’t hate my friend, I just have too many emotions at the moment. How do I keep these things in my own cranium where they belong?