i don’t know how to explain this to get people to understand what i’m trying to say. i love my friends and i love being around them and talking to them. i prefer being with them in person, as when we text i always feel like their annoyed by me and don’t want to talk to me, so when we’re in person i can avoid that feeling. except when i can’t. sometimes when i’m with them they don’t even interact with me and only interact with eachother, and it gives me this bad feeling that i’m unwanted and should just go home, and this feeling crowds inside my head and sits there for the rest of the day. it gets really bad when i stay at their houses, because then i feel trapped there with this bad feeling and all i wanna do is go home. except i hate being alone at home because that’s when things get bad. so things get bad when i’m alone, but they also get bad when i’m around my friends because i can’t get these thoughts and feelings to leave me alone. this didn’t used to be a thing, i could be around my friends for weeks and be fine, but ever since this year being around them for more than one day at a time i just feel like they hate me and i don’t belong there and i find myself just wishing i was alone at home where i can shut off from the world.