I dreamed that my father had his privates out and was lying beside me and I was touching him. I had such a disgusted feeling but was aroused.... i stopped touching him and went to the washroom and masturbated in my dream.

I woke up so digusted. See, my father took baths with me until age 9 and would lock the door. I told him I shower by myself at my moms place and he would make me feel guilty and say "but you're my little girl. Common its just a bath with your daddy, silly" and he would take off my clothes. I dont remember any baths with him. He has also masturbated beside me in the same bed when he thought I had fallen asleep. And he would take me to 18+ naked spas. (In germany this fucked up shit is legal, I moved to Canada with my mom in 2010).

Does this dream mean he sexually made me touch him as a child? Because I have no recollection of me ever touching him or him touching me. But I do have questionable memories. And his dream fucking freaks me out