I’ll start with saying that this post probably will trigger people because it sounds like a very privileged lifestyle but that’s not how I mean to sound at all. 

Since September 2019 I have been in a treatment center because I tried to kill myself. After my suicide attempt my dad took my apartment away from me, he gave my DOG away, my car away , so right now I have nothing. Three therapists have talked to him and all of them find him toxic. One of them says you have to cut them out of your life completely but how do you do that when you depend financially on them? I’m still in a treatment center even though I feel like I can be more independent. The only reason I’m here is because my dad controls all of the money. Right now I’m not able to work I have a handful of mental illnesses in COVID doesn’t help so I can’t really just go get a job and get money. My dad won’t let me pick out my own treatment center the place I wanna go to he has to pick it out. The problem is he doesn’t know who I am for the over the past 10 years he doesn’t know who I am we don’t talk to each other so he has no idea what my mental state is but he’s going to pick where I go for treatment? He thinks that suicide is a choice and it’s my fault and I have to live with the consequences. I have to have money for medication and a place to live but I can’t work. 

I’m in a spot right now where I can “function” but I still have problems and I don’t know how to be responsible because no one ever taught me that. Just because I have a mental illness doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be happy and this applies to everyone. 


This post is very messy because I’m just so upset right now and I don’t know what to do and I feel like it will never get better. I just exist I don’t have a life, I just exist.