I always knew something was wrong with me since I was a child. I was not capable of pointing it out. I knew I was depressed since Freshman year of High School. I got severely bullied from fifth to eighth grade.. But in High School I had gotten badly bullied online. I grew more isolated and detached from people. I felt a rush of sadness and intense emotions one day when an ex-boyfriend had ended our relationship. It had to be the WORST feelings i have ever felt.. I felt like I was going to die. He was basically abandoning me and I was not ready for it, I will consider it my first heartbreak. ACS was called on me because I was not attending school for a long period off time. I was placed in therapy when I was about 15 years old(I was so glad). My mother pulled me out because she assumed there was nothing wrong with me and I was "lying" about my depression for attention. As I grew older.. I was not able to keep friends long, everyone hated me for me, I felt nothing but emptiness , loneliness, useless, unwanted and i feared abandonment so much! Throughout my teenage years, everyone kept leaving me behind. Earlier this year, I googled "Afraid of abandonment" and a website describing BPD popped up. I read forums, went on Quora, Reddit, watched documentaries and they ALL described my life. I kind of figured I was going to end up with a mental illness since my mother is a full blown Narcissistic asshole and I was scapegoat child. I have been trying to speak to my friends and family about this and not one soul believes me that I might have this. I am so SADDEN, I had plans to join the Navy... I studied for ASVAB, lost weight and will be finishing up with my four year degree. I come to learn that I am disqualified due to this personality disorder. I have information to seek help for BPD at a local hospital. I have been afraid to call and schedule an appointment because not one living soul in my life will support me. Everyone believes I am being "overdramatic" and "lying" about such shit. I am tired of facing everything alone... 