How can I make meaningful relationships/connections with people if I don't know who I am? 

I need and crave meaningful relationships with others. But most of the close relationships I've had...romantic, friend, or otherwise...I've cut out and shut off, either recently or a long time ago. I have a handful of friends that I'm holding onto as I transition into adulthood. But it's not enough. I need deep and meaningful connections with people in order to have any sense of self. I remember who I've been in the past, sure, but right now it's just empty and nothing and I can't stand it. 

So how do I make meaningful relationships without anything inside? This is awful, and being alone just makes my mental health worse. I should just see a therapist but I'm trying to save money right now and insurance is an issue. 