... and I’m not sure whether it’s me or my BPD talking. 

In short, there was a professional mess up on my end with a slightly unfortunate phrasing in a teaching situation. Nothing too bad, nothing offensive, just not at the professional level it should be. So I immediately brought it up and we discussed the problems with that way of phrasing things. I know this is all very vague, but the majority of people I’ve spoken to (which means everyone but two people) agrees that this is very much a non-issue. Even if it was deliberate and I didn’t bring up the problems with this phrasing afterwards, it wouldn’t have been an issue. 

I told one of my students about it three weeks after the fact, not thinking about the phrasing. I just mentioned it while talking about something else so he didn’t really catch the context, just the way I worded it. He criticized me for it, and I wasn’t able to answer him, but I told him we could discuss it later. 

Fast forwards two hours, and he’s been gossiping about it, telling people he cussed me out. So I e-mailed him, and explained the situation in context and we both agreed that it was problematic, and I said I’d take it under advisement, and he apologized to have talked about it. Next he went to my bosses, who chose to not even ask me about it, he still talks to people about it, leaving out the context I gave him completely. He also proceeded to sending me snide texts and messages on social media about it, clearly making fun of me. 

One of my very best friends however, while acknowledging that he’s an asshole, wanted to stay on “neutral ground”, so she didn’t even approach me about it, I had to ask her. And when I talked about how much all of this was messing with my head and how insecure and uncomfortable it made me that things were happening behind my back, all she chose to say was that she agreed with him professionally. 

Honestly, the fact that she completely disregarded my feelings gutted me. I didn’t approach her to ask her professional opinion, or ask her for her support in a professional way, I tried to talk to her as a friend. And I told her it was disappointing, and she just chose to keep on talking about the EXTREMELY minor  professional issues with it. 

It’s been a few days now, and it’s still eating me up inside. Full blown anxiety every time I think of it, and I can’t even do or say anything about his behavior in this because he’s my student. I just don’t want to talk to her anymore. 

Is my head being stupid? I can’t tell and it’s wearing me out. 