I feel really shameful about saying this, but I've realized there's kinda two people inside me. One person really wants to help others, and be happy, and be a force of positivity. The other one wants to hurt people as much as possible, physically and emotionally.

For the sake of clarity I'll refer to the positive one as A and the negative one as B. When I'm A, and I think about when I'm B, I feel horrible. I can't believe I'd have those thoughts about making the people I hate bleed, or putting them in the hospital. When I'm B, I see A as weak and useless. I see him as someone who can't solve problems and doesn't understand the world. I feel like I'm becoming B more and more often.

But, there's also kinda one other, C. C just doesn't care. He doesn't feel anything, he doesn't care about you, his family, or his friends, but he doesn't dislike anyone either. He just exists, and I've found I'm more comfortable when I'm him.

I don't know what I am anymore, am I bipolar? I have no idea anymore