17m here I want to so some crazy stuff but fear is telling me that its too dangerous, im even afraid of things that its weird to be afraid of. Im afraid of injuring myself while I want to get into extreme sports to feel more manly and bad ass and not timid and girly. I cant ski down a black diamond on a ski slope and I cant do any of those cool bike tricks that others can do. I feel cautious about everything and it makes me feel feminine because men are not cowards, they break the fear of unknown no matter what when women are "too scared" and rather stick to calming activities where little to no adrenaline is involved. Im too scared to play sports which makes me feel feminine as I just cant do it. I'm scared of needles, scuba diving, jellyfish, and even fish. I cant go in water with living things and I dont know why. All my friends would do these things and I feel like I'm much different compared to the others around me. I just feel completely recessive about my life and every other human is dominant over me. I feel I dont have talent, im only academically doing well and I'm athleticly terrible. The music talent I have is just perfect pitch, I can't multitask when playing piano or other instruments and I have to practice hours just to play a simple piece when other talented musicians can just play a piano piece well without much practice. I just cant seem to know what personality I am. I'm on the autism spectrum and I have pddnos, anxiety disorder, and some developmental/speech disorders.