hey, hope you’re all doing alright. i need to vent a bit. 
i just think it’s funny how many no-win situations there are with this condition. last night i was able to ward off letting my emotions through in a conversation/argument with my SO. however, this just gave the impression that i didn’t care about what was going on. that led to my emotions coming through full force. and as genuine as you or i know that is, THAT just comes across as manipulative. people will always think that you’re being manipulative if you let your overreactive emotions through because it elicits an emotional response in them. cuz you know, that’s how humans work. 

i don’t know where i’m going with this. it’s just really really fucking funny to me how being real comes across as being manipulative, but suppressing how you really feel and pretending to not be as affected by something as you are is also pretty damn manipulative. 

am i making sense right now with this post? i’m pretty out of it. there is nothing that i can do that isn’t manipulative, it seems