Hi guys i’m fairly new to using/posting on here. I have not/never been diagnosed with BPD, However i do show a lot of the signs for it. I(F22) have had a pretty rough childhood and have struggled getting through some past traumas throughout my adolescence. I have been getting the help that I need by going to a therapist and taking care of myself and have been doing fine(I struggle a lot with SH and panic attacks).However two nights ago I got into a small fight with my partner over something really stupid and i feel like i might have overreacted because he wasn’t giving me the “attention” because i was the one that was upset. I began to have a panic attack and i deeply resented him at that exact moment and felt like he hated me. in other words I was overly sensitive and fragile in that moment and felt like he wasn’t understanding me. He was getting frustrated because I was yelling and not letting him speak so I got overwhelmed and felt attacked and locked myself in the restroom. As I closed the door he said “this is so difficult” but in that moment i took it as “you’re so difficult” and something completely took over me and i ended up SH pretty bad. I had to go to the hospital and get stitches. The thing is I really do not remember how i got into my makeup bag and got the razor. I also did not feel anything in that moment. Just to preface I had been 1 year and 5 months clean and had no previous thoughts of SH or su***de. But in that moment after hearing what I thought i heard I couldn’t physically or emotionally take it. I’m afraid it could’ve been a split. Does anyone know what else it could have been if not?