instead i ended up failing two semesters in a row and wasting my mom’s money on classes i barely even participated in. i hardly even know why i’m in school to begin with. thinking about my academic standing makes me feel so embarrassed. my friends are wrapping up their freshman year of uni and here i am sulking away on academic probation and at risk of dismissal.

i thought i could do it. i thought i could pull it together but here we are. 

i’m so tired. i can hardly even find the energy to do the things that used to give me joy. i don’t want to be here.

i can’t help but find myself wishing that i’d die my sleep or in some accident.