We go way back to childhood best friends, but when we got older went to different universities In different parts of the world. We still visited eachother loads over that period of time, and always were communicating and hanging as soon as we were both back for Christmas break. Ya, we partied together, and she loved to party but she never was drinking more or doing more drugs than anyone else was. I know she had her anti anxiety med for quite a few years of her life, and definitely would take other prescriptions over the years, but she always was good at school, had good friends, super talented, studying to become a lawyer, took care of herself (or so I thought?), funny beautiful. I never suspected she had this, but a lot of her friends who were with her her for the more recent years before she died are now saying that they perhaps suspected it, that her traits seemed to fit the mould. And so now, just a week after this has all happened, I find myself wanting to know more about bpd and suicidal ideation to try to understand if it was a terrible mistake while high and drunk , or if it was premeditated , planned, or somehow both?... anything that could help me understand... or maybe that’s just suicide, it just doesn’t ever make sense. perhaps I’ll never know but for some reason felt included to ask my fellow community . Thanks for taking the time. Anything about bpd symptoms, advice on where to look, suicidal ideation and bpd would be helpful. Most appreciated. God bless.