So I was on the phone with my ex last night for something unrelated to us. Then the topic of the conversation turned toward our relationship. For a little back story she broke up with me because I had trouble taking responsibility. 

Just as soon as I was starting to fix myself she stopped talking to me. We had broken up at the end of February and started talking a few weeks after but then she officially stopped talking to me at the end of April. 

Anyways after I got off of the phone with her last night and returned home, I slit my arms again. Deeper than I ever have before there was a more significant amount of blood. It felt good at the time and I feel like I might do it again soon. 

I haven't been to therapy since last month and these assholes schedule me once a month. My old therapist left the company a month ago and so they scheduled me with a new one for this month. However, the other day I get a call saying he's taking a vacation and now my appointment got pushed all the way to September. I hope I'll last until then