I'm (F29) finally being assessed for BPD. I'm textbook. Suicide attempts/self-harm, intense and unstable relationships, extreme mood shifts, fear of abandonment etc etc. I just got out of a crisis house for a severe mental breakdown and they are putting me forward for an assessment. The more I look into it the more I realise my dad probably has it. I say probably. Most definitely. I've been his verbal punching bag since my teens and for most of my adult life. I thought he was just a typical narc, alcoholic, many failed relationships, everyone always walking on eggshells etc. He had to look after my two children while I was in the crisis house. He was so angry about this. He thinks I'm choosing to feel like how I feel. Always calling me selfish, self-centred, attention seeking and a fuck up amongst other things. Well he came round the other night while I was in bed. He was slamming doors and making a lot of noise. I was terrified. He came storming up the stairs, screaming at me calling me a fucking bitch (this was following a particularly difficult day where I was struggling to get out of bed and I asked him to help me out with the kids. He doesn't work and is home most of the day). I want to go no contact. I'm just scared about the backlash I'll get. He has helped me to secure a house for me and my kids, I already know he'll use that as an example of how selfish I am. I'd rather not have a house if it meant I no longer had to be on the receiving end of his violent outbursts. This is the first of many times he's been like this towards me. I can't do it anymore. 

TL;DR waiting to be assessed for BPD and figured out my father has it too. He came round the other night screaming at me because I asked for help looking after my kids that day. I want to go no contact, but I'm scared.