I spent the first 18 years of my life thinking I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I never considered anything else, other than the fact I didn't know if I'd live long enough to complete my schooling with how miserable I felt all the time. It took me 4 years to finish my first year of college due to me constantly dropping classes because of depressive episodes. My first semester I lost all passion for what I thought I wanted to due which definitely contributed to me struggling. I still have no idea what to do with my life and I feel like such a failure. I feel like a fraud also among my classmates because they're so passionate when they talk about their majors and what they want to do with it and all I can do is come up with some bullshit answer on the spot. I've spent so long being miserable and I don't want my future career or lack of if I pick some useless degree to further worsen that. I hate that I lost my previous interest and that I never considered anything else so now I feel hopeless. I hate that I tried to go for my dad to help and all he did was try to make me feel like shit for having no other academic interests that he sees as time worthy. I hate feeling so overwhelmed over something so simple.