In the past, before being diagnosed or knowing anything about BPD I actually developed this principle I started to apply conceptually to my life... basically it was like this:

There were some things other people could do to me that made me lose all respect for them. There were many people like this, and once they crossed a certain line, I would never forgive them or look at them in a positive way again. &gt;&gt;&gt; Devaluation.

There were other things that really made a difference to me that other people could do. For example, saying something sincere and kind to me. If someone did this, I imagined that no matter what they did in the future I would always hold on to that and value them. &gt;&gt;&gt; Idealization.

I felt so intensely hurt/loved by others that I actually made this into a principle whereby I would divide people in my life into these two groups. Needless to say, very few made the Idealization list, but some did. I still value them. But man... talk about the total inability to integrate good and bad qualities simultaneously. For me it is especially hard to see anything good in people who I perceive as threatening or hurtful. Now, I look back on that and I'm just like, wow... splitting... wtf.