I could use some positive direction or perspective :’( 

I moved away across the country by myself at 17, and I’ve experienced two awful and traumatic relationships in my college town, almost all thanks to my BPD. I’m thinking about moving back to my home state because of the awful memories here. 

I’m now 22, and I am *COMPLETELY* alone. I have zero friends, I’ve been ghosted by three guys in two months, and have no sense of self determination or esteem. Nothing keeps me going anymore, as I have very little support from anyone or anything. 

I’ve been on my own and focusing on myself for so long, that’s all I know anymore, and it’s very isolating. I’m about to graduate college with my veterinary degree, but it doesn’t even feel like an accomplishment anymore because of all my trauma. 

TLDR: I just feel so beyond lost, lonely, and hopeless. I feel like my life is destined to be full of drama and conflict because of BPD. I feel like I will never meet someone to love, or even be able to hold a friendship. I could use some perspective or direction if anyone has any.