i have not been to a psycologist but looking to in the future so i can better understand the way i am. ive done some research on personality disorders and feel like bpd fits most but im very shy and quiet because of anxiety. i mostly experiance the symptoms in my head. my most recent type of symptom i guess was i was upset with my mother and literally hated her never wanted to talk to her once i moved out wanted her to die like all these thoughts going thru my head. my relationships with the people in my life are only rocky in my head. maybe i have quiet bpd or something else idk any feedback on anything would be nice.