(Im so sorry if i dont write properly, english is my second language) 

Since i can remember i've always been a depressive person, i can recall being 12 an depressive because of my low self-steem, im now 23 and depressive because of my low self-steem, stress, and just because i have a disorder (or personality, either way) of being really fucking sad and then just exist. I've been having health issues recently, first the loss of vitamins, then the  hypothyroidism, then kidney stones, and now the stupid  Trigeminal Neuralgia. This is the worst pain i've ever experience, it makes half of my face hurts horrible for about 5 straight minutes and then i fel nothing. The funny coincidence here its that the sickness is known as the "Sui1cidal sickness" and i just tried to kill myself 3 times 5 years ago, and now that i -want to live? idk i just know that i dont want to die- i have to deal with all the health problems. I don't know the point of my post i just wanted to vent a little, im having a lot of mental crisis even thougt im in therapy, its just, i mean, i have a ot of stress in every way i look in my life, we dont have money problems but we as a family need to produce more money, i have a lot of pets and the cost too much but i would never leave them, the need more space or quality time with me, i quit my job because it was a lot of mental and fisical stress (and also because the doctor said that i might need surgery, and the meds were meking me fall sleep in the middle of things) now i feel like a parasythe not working only in school, always sick and depressive. Anyways thanks for reading me, and again, sorry for the redaction.