Hello, type two guy here and I could use some help processing this. I know that this is a controversial topic here, so I'm just putting this out there. I'd appreciate perspectives that any of you think might be helpful. 

I've found that responsible use of cannabis along with taking my Lamictal and Seroquel as prescribed has helped me significantly with managing my symptoms. 

I just started looking for full time work for the first time in over a year, so go me!

I want to go into medicine and eventually become a nurse.

Knowing that generally in that field and at the company I am applying to that there's a zero tolerance drug policy, I'll need to take a preemployment drug screening and that I could be tested at other times as well for reasonable suspicion or after an accident, so I decided to go off of cannabis. 

It's unwise to choose cannabis over a career that I really want, right?

I took an interview for a position as a patient care technician on Tuesday and it went very well. I was told to wait for a call about an employment offer, which has not come yet. I've been a bit of a nervous wreck since the interview. Waiting is hard and moving on from past pursuits has some grief associated with it.

The last two days have been really up and down and I've fallen back on some coping mechanisms that have only made things worse

I've fallen out of some of the behaviors that keep me grounded since the interview as well. I am being gentle with myself and getting myself back on track again. 

I know better than to project or to make decisions based on just a couple of bad days, especially after such a good two weeks of coping without cannabis. It's hard and I want to manage my disease, but I don't want to sacrifice a potential career in nursing for cannabis, even though I love it and thank God for how it helps me both mentally and spiritually. 

Any advice here? The the pros of cannabis highly outweigh the negatives, especially since I no longer need it every night or even every day. I greatly benefit from a tuneup from it once a week is all.   

Employment at hospitals and the like make this feel like an unwise course of treatment for me right now and it's upsetting to have to avoid using it for that reason, but risking a potentially life changing career for me feels even more stupid. 

Without cannabis I am having terrible nightmares and cannot sleep unless it take. Melatonin puts me out, but it doesn't stop the nightmares. Last night I was woken up by terrible dreams that came back every time I fell back to sleep. 

L-theanine helps with my anxiety and it's helping me to get through the day, so I'm leaning on it right now. Improving my diet has helped too, but not over the last few days. I know that getting back to exercise and maintaining my spiritual practices will be necessary as well if I am to keep moving forward. 

So, what do you all think? Is it worth it to go cannabis free? Should I consider another field where I can resume moderate cannabis use while maintain what's already working right now? Is there another way through this that I'm not thinking of?

Don't hold back, I can take it. Any and all suggestions are appreciated.

I'll look forward to your replies.

Peace 🙏