I just wish I could wake up one day not worrying.  I wish I could roll over and open my eyes and enjoy the sound of the birds singing outside my window.  I wish I could just breathe the air without feeling the weight of the entire world crushing down on my tiny shoulders.  I wish I could make breakfast without checking the dates of everything and temperature of the fridge three times.  I wish I could wear the clothes I want without wandering what everyone is going to think about the shirt I chose.  I just wish I could have a damn cup of coffee without it making my heart race and bring tears to my eyes.  I wish I could wait in line at the grocery store without sweat pouring down my neck because I'm too afraid to get through the line and check out and the only other option is to leave my cart in the middle of the aisle for all the food to spoiler or for some person who isn't paid nearly enough money to have to put it all back.  I wish I could drive my car without being afraid that I'm going to get hit by someone else or I'll have a flat tire and be stranded on the side of the road.  I wish I could work a real job without being in fear that something terrible is going to happen to me while at work so I run out in panic and leave every time.  I wish I could talk to the kind strangers who smile at me and ask how I'm doing instead of smiling and walking away quickly.  I wish that I could have positive relationships and friendships without constantly questioning others' motives.  I wish I could call and order a fucking pizza from my favorite pizza shop instead of settling for the pizza place that has an online app where I can request they leave it at my door without talking to me.   I wish I could take a bath or shower and relax without replaying everything that happened that day or even 13 years and 3 days ago.  I wish I could just have ONE minute to relax where I can shut off all of these thoughts.  I wish I could lay in bed quietly and fall asleep without staring at the ceiling with my mind racing, only to pause to get up and pee one hundred times every night.  It's exhausting being anxious from the minute I wake up until the minute my day ends.  It's saddening to take medication that only slightly lessens the symptoms.  It hurts that every week in therapy I celebrate that I only had 9 panic attacks in a week instead of 10.  I just wish, for one minute, that I could be someone without anxiety.