i was super depressed for a couple of days right after i got home from an overnight vacation and nonstop crying but on those days i decided to change my career path and now i’m super set i’m being a marine biologist and i’m hyperfixating on the ocean and i wanted to be a hair stylist at first

it’s 2am and i’m about to plan my wedding that isn’t for years to come and i talked to my boyfriend for an hour but i was really talking to myself the whole time nonstop

i’m 19 and not “officially diagnosed but we are heavily looking into and considering bipolar disorder” according to my psychiatrist and i never have had a real manic episode just hypomania i think and i really don’t know if i’m just happy or if i’m entering something bad because i was super depressed and i’ve been dissociating nd then something snapped inside of my brain and i was super happy snd motivated and now i’m very scared to fall asleep because i’m scared somebody is going to break in and kill me and i might have a panic attack tonight

i’m on lamotrigine and it’s only been a month since i’ve been on it and this is very new to me. i started seeking help a few months ago and this is only my second round of medication 

i have diagnosed severe anxiety  bipolar is only a consideration

i’m not sure what to do right now. i’ve been depressed and i want to be happy but i know this is bad. maybe this is a mixed episode. i seeked help because usually i am rapid cycling emotions and long-term episodes aren’t common for me