Hello, redditors! 
I'm writing this to see what kind of advice I can get or at least what you guys think about my situation (be warned; it's a long post. If you love drama, stay tuned.)

So I'm a very liberal minded person (or so I think); I'm interracial, grew up in a poor family and am gay, so I know what it feels like to be on the sidelines. That said, I'm also very open-minded when it comes to gender; I agree with some conservative viewpoints on the matter as well as some 'liberal' takes on the issue as well. TLDR; I think if you're a man and you want to wear a dress, that's fine, it doesn't make you a woman. Same goes for butch women.

Anyway, in regards to myself: These are the facts/reasons why I'm struggling with my gender identity. Do these influence my issues? Does this make me trans? I don't want to be trans. What do you think?

Reasons why I do think I'm Trans*:

1. EXTREME jealously of handsome men/boys and their ability to be sexy and enamour girls

2. I despise my chest, hips, and voice

3. I've displayed these 'symptoms' for years

4. Can't see myself as a woman in the future (the future is blurry honestly)

Why I don't think I'm Trans*:

1. I like being gay

2. I'm​ slightly transphobic still so I think I would hate myself even more

3. I like being sexy sometimes in a feminine way; wearing short things that show off my legs and such

4. I hate sports and a lot of stuff that's stereotypically masculine.

5. I LOVE guy's clothes and want to wear mostly that all the time; however, as mentioned above, I don't think clothes has as much to do with being trans as body image does.

Factors that may have caused//influenced this??:

1. I was raised by a woman who doesn't express her sexuality through her clothes

2. Absence of father in life

3. Depression + isolation

4. Self hatred

5. Sexually Assaulted (no one knows btw)

So what do you think? What's wrong with me (obviously a lot lol)? What advice can you guys give me? Have any of you been through this?


