The only reason I haven't already ended things is because if I do it, my girlfriend will too, and because ending things might cause even more suffering than I already do. When she's really struggling to stay, I tell her that it'll be ok, things will get better. But I can't see that happening for me. I can't even find energy for the simplest of things, even to brush my teeth once a day let alone twice. I can't bring myself to even try anything.

I'm just empty. Hollow, like in Dark Souls. But not like one of the big characters. Like one of those mute naked shells at the entrance to New Londo Ruins, shaking and banging their heads.

I just wish I never existed. That seems the only way to avoid the curse of life.