TW; SELF HARM





I’ll try to keep this as short as I can. SO and I are both 25 and have a 2 year old together. He’s been sick for the past 2 weeks and I’ve done all the cleaning, taking care of him and our two year old. Not a problem I don’t care. Well this morning, this happened;


I’m so fucking pissed and upset. SO wanted me to go for a walk with baby and I was just sitting peacefully on my phone reading and I was like right now? (It’s 8am and kinda rainy where we are) You’re welcome to go but I don’t want to. Then he’s like you never take baby anywhere or do anything with him it’s always me. I completely shut down and dissociated. I couldn’t look at him or move or talk. He acted like I was ignoring him and I wasn’t. I couldn’t help it.

Then he’s like snap out of it Baby looking at you weird. I looked at Baby and he was smiling at me. SO was getting frustrated but still used like a calm tone and was like I need help cleaning the house today I need help I can’t do things alone. I was dissociating but at least I wasn’t cutting. I wanted to cut so fucking bad. Those words hurt because they weren’t true. The past two weeks I’ve taken care of everything without complaint and he says this? Wtf. I still couldn’t look at him and could barely move and said I was going upstairs to calm down and finish putting away Baby’s laundry. He’s like ugh okay just go isolate yourself and not communicate it’s what you do best. I went into the first bedroom and bawled my eyes out. I’m too upset to think of any DBT skills to use. Still dissociating. This fucking sucks.