I made friends with a girl and then a while after us being friends she started getting mental health help and it turns out she also has BPD. For some reason I’m jealous of this. Like I’m jealous of her bpd, like for some reason I want to be the only one with it, and like maybe I don’t actually have it and I’m faking it and shes the only one with real bpd. 

I don’t treat her badly or anything of course, I love her to bits, I just internally feel so jealous and weird. Is anyone else like this or has felt like this? Or am I actually just an awful person because it sure feels awful getting jealous when she messages me telling her about one of her episodes or symptoms she’s experiencing asking if I experience them too.