a few months ago in June, a bunch of stuff happened that negatively impacted the way I felt about myself. from fights, to breakups of friendships and relationships to deleting all my social media accounts and going on hiatus for a few months etc. 

thing is, I feel like I’m going crazy and that it’s in my head but all this has occurred four years in a row where I would lose all my friends and relationships and then be alone all summer with maybe one or two friends if I was lucky and then they would come back later apologising for whatever they did. 

on some days I feel like I can cope without friends and a partner but then on the next day it gets worse and worse to the point where I wonder what the point of life is and think about doing crazy stuff. I even enrolled myself into a well known university that does law and I don’t even feel happy that I got in the university in the first place, I should feel happy right? so why don’t I? :( 

it hurts so much as I don’t know why this is happening to me, what have I done wrong to deserve this? when the people I helped out, cared for and truly adored hurt me the most? 

can someone please advise on this and how to cope whilst going through this? thanks. 😊