I don’t want to die or necessarily kill myself. But fuck I want out. I hate my parents for having me to only fill me full of traumas that are still affecting everything in my life. I just want to have never existed. I don’t want to participate in this fucked up world. No one gives a fuck about anything other than themselves. You can ask for help and no one helps. Or it’s expensive as fuck without insurance which I lost because my depression and anxiety made me lose 3 jobs in the past 6 months. So what the fuck is anyone supposed to make it out of this. I just know where I went wrong. In the end it’s all my fucking fault anyone. I’m a lazy dumb piece of shit anyway so what do I deserve anyway. I just wish I could end it all / vanish but also take the memory of my existence with me so that I don’t hurt anyone emotionally.