My place is a mess. I keep wasting money on eating out because I can’t bring myself do to the dishes and make myself something. I’m so behind on everything. I don’t know how to pick myself up. I’m 17F and I’m living in my own. 

I have been spending a good amount of time just stagnating like this. This is the Easter break that I was supposed to dedicate to cleaning and doing schoolwork. I still have time but there is no motivation, the bare minimum I do for myself now is bathing, trying to find decent clothing to wear, even though my laundry is seriously building up. I don’t know what to do. I’m having a hard time reasoning with myself why I should be here and keep pushing for the future I would talk about pursuing. 

The people around me would tell me how responsible and hard working I am for my age including mature, but now I’m just contradicting everything they said. I can’t really reach out to my mom, grandma or sister either (only people that are close to me) I mean yes I do have a therapist but I don’t get much from it even though I’m supposed to see her tomorrow. Sorry for posting here even though I don’t have a diagnosis, I don’t know how else to describe how I’ve been feeling and why I can’t bring myself to do much. I kinda of want to get better but there is an overwhelming feeling that I’m just doomed