**I AM NOT SEEKING MEDICAL ADVICE I NEED TO TALK TO REGULAR PEOPLE**

I’m using the school therapist for my college and although he’s a nice person he acts like I could be a danger to society because I’ve had paranoid delusions once. He acts like I’ll enter psychosis if I smoke weed even though I tell him that it keeps me from being suicidal and that since I started smoking again I’ve gotten considerably happier and more sane over the last week. 

He thinks that instead of me trying to continue with my classes I should take off the semester and even stay home. He does not seem to see any option where the reality could just be that marijuana genuinely helps me. And I don’t think he wants me to have fun and live like a young person I think that even if I had a beer on the weekend that would be considered concerning.

I think that I will heal if I smoke weed and will become suicidal if I don’t, but I also think that if I keep doing what I want I’ll end up in the hospital and I think that if I do what I don’t want, I’ll also up in the hospital according to their wishes, so I don’t know what to do. i’m afraid they’ll intervene no matter what because I won’t get better unless I smoke and I don’t want to go on their clinical robot drugs I found what works for me.