 I posted on here a month or so ago and I wanna try 1 more time. I was recommended to get my mental stability checked out and the doctor said I had clinical depression. Before the appointment I didnt want to eat sleep or even talk to anyone I went weeks without leaving my home. At one point I just thought to myself late at night what is the reason for living why do I keep doing so. Life has been terrible for me so far and never gets better. If there was a God why would he make people suffer. A main reason I thought like this was due to when I was younger. My parents were drug attics we lived on my autistic brother checks witch was 600 a month. My parents were very abusive i still have many scars from them. But eventually we got taken by the system and now I'm 17 living with my uncle. I tend to fake being happy people usually see me as the happiest person. But the main reason I'm even typing this on here is because of my appointment. After taking my medication I was given it didn't help anything and I've been feeling worse. I can't hide my true emotions anymore i havent left the house in a month. The people I live with are wondering why I'm doing this. I think they think its a phase. I don't want to come out about my depression to them due to fear of them changing how they treat me. I'm terrified of it and thinking of them doing so makes me hate myself even more. For someone to care about someone as useless as myself. But anyway I feel like I posted this once again to try and vent and get things off my chest. What should I do. My doctor said I should keep taking the meds but I feel it makes it worse. This is the worst I've felt in my life. If anyone has advice ill try and take it. Thanks