As the title said. I have had an psychotic episode which i was hospitalized for. I got the diagnosis schizophrenia in the lowest category. Now after hearing voices I got sedatives prescribed, and now since the new medication I get so much anxiety that I’m becoming mentally addicted to sedatives and alcohol to numb the anxiety. 

I’ve got an ad(h)d and autism diagnosis in 4 months.

Now I will get treatment in a little while for addiction to sedatives and alcohol.

I can’t get myself to do anything when alone and get scared in the evening.

I’ve had therapy for 3 years now. But everyone believes there is nothing much wrong with me. Am i making it up in my head, am i that insecure about myself? I don’t get it. Get me tested on everything. I kind of want to be hospitalized again so that they can research me better. I feel as if every therapist I’ve had don’t know what to do with me. I function ok, I don’t harm myself, I’m in a relationship and we live together, I have friends and hang out with them every week and I have loving parents. 

Why do I feel like this? Numb, alone, I feel like crying but I can’t. 

Sorry for the emo post haha.