I wish we could magically switch. I'd put up with all the mood swings he's sick of dealing with, I'd remind him that most of his uncomfortable thoughts are all in his head, and I'd ride those ups and downs like a roller coaster because I always thought that love would win.


But that's not the case. 


He's okay and I'm not. He's probably relieved and I'm crushed. He's leaving me and I'm heartbroken. 


I'm in a city I can't afford, a city we moved to together, a city where all my memories are of just him and I, a city half across the country from all my friends and family. This stupid city where I'm all alone.


His hometown is nearby so he gets to go home. I should do the same but I can't return in defeat. No, instead I'm going to spend weeks in bed only leaving my over priced apartment to go to work to pay for the stupid overpriced apartment. 


My eyes hurt from crying. I'd kill for one of those ups and downs he hates so much.