I have been having acute gastritis since years now, it usually comes and goes. Most of the time it's due to my stress eating or due to my depressive episodes. It was a bit serious this week and I had gained a lot of weight too (218 pounds / 23 yrs Male).

But my parents keep insulting me every time the see me. I know I'm fat, but it really hurts when they obviously point it out and belittle me. Today my aunt was talking about how fat and ugly I have become with her 10 year old niece and saying her to give some sense into me to become slim like her. Later she told how much I weigh to her friends and both were laughing at me. My mom keeps emotionally torturing me, I know they intend for my wellness but she keeps telling me how fat I have gotten and how clothes won't fit me properly or how people will look at me and make fun of me, or how no one will even look at my disgusting body.

Few days ago one of my uncle had joked to me about how I got fat and said maybe I'm eating food all the time and my parents scolded me later saying if I was not fat he wouldn't have said like that and I'm giving people the opportunity to say that to me. Maybe they are right but it's not like I can control anything. Even if I don't eat My stomach gets bloated, but they don't believe me when I say so.

My other uncle called and told me why did I leave that 2 pound should have gone for 220 pounds, and said I had no shame after getting that fat. 

I told my long distance girlfriend about this and she first supported me and made me feel good and said she doesn't care about my weight or anything and she loves me for who I am as a person not how I look, I thought she meant it. But whenever I say her, I felt like eating something and I stopped myself she gets really excited and thanks me. But when I do end up eating anything she says it's okay but don't eat too much it's not good for your health and gets upset but she doesn't tell me directly. 

I know she loves me, but it does hurt me when she is pretending to love me for my weight. I know that she doesn't have to force herself for anything and I'm not happy too because of my weight but at least I thought she would not think like everyone else. 

I was sexually abused in my childhood and it's been really difficult coping with it since I realised that happened to me. Everything is so horrible, due to my parents and auntie shaming me for my weight and fatness my cousins who are way younger to me tease me infront of everyone.

I know, all of this is my fault. Nothing like this would ever happened if I was fit and fine. I'm sorry for taking your time into reading all this crap about me.