
I (24) broke off a friendship with my best friend (23 F) of 14 years. 
A lot of our younger dynamic was toxic. My parents hated that we were on again, off again. What would probably seem like pretty normal teenage/kid stuff. If she hadn’t grown up in a pretty tough situation. Or did some wildly intense 
However, there’s a long laundry stuff of things that have been done from her side. Cold cups of water thrown in the face, following me home screaming and crying so I wouldn’t go home to my house to cause a scene, stuff thrown at me thrown at me.. a lot more of that was when we were kids, and I’ll touch on this again in a bit.
I was the DUFF. Her DUFF. She was the first person to ever needle into me about my weight and it did spark my eating disorder. 
One of the more distasteful things is she got pissed when I wouldn’t drive an hour to see her on the same day I was saying goodbye to a childhood pet, literally slamming doors over lighthearted arguments…  I think she’s part of what gave me BPD. For years I could never pin point where the hell i got a trauma disorder from, (beyond like, parents divorcing) but I don’t think I’ve had my head out of the water for long enough to realize I was drowning until now.

Part of what made me realize is she even acknowledged it. How shitty she treats me. Then she does it again in the next sentence.
I don’t know whether it’s ignorance or arrogance anymore.

*Finally to my point*

Her and I were toxic growing up. We were kids. Does that remove accountability for what was done between us? At what point could I even say “she didn’t mean to, she was just a kid” and at what point do I scream, “You know better”?

*Yes, my mental shit is my own and how my BPD manifested from there is my own journey, no matter the catalyst. I am done with my friendship with her as of tonight, she is blocked on everything.