My ex, who I broke up with about 2 weeks ago, was abusive. He wasn't abusive all the time, and actually helped me at a time where I needed it. At times he encouraged me, supported me, reminded me of my worth, and the best thing he did was make a recovery discord group. For me and other members to work on healing and recovery. Since we have broken up he was left the group. However me and the other members still use it for our healing 

He would be verbally abusive and gaslight me. Attempts at holding him accountable lead to more gaslighting on his end. I had enough, let him know how I felt, and then blocked him out my life. I am unsure of what he is feeling right now. Though I talk to a mutual friend, I am refraining from bringing him up. Honestly, despite how he treated me, I would feel bad if I knew he was hurting himself. I know that he is, deep down, a good person who only wants to help others. He is just in pain and in avoidance facing his traumas. I also have work I need to do in healing my own traumas, which is a work in progress.

Nonetheless, if I knew he was beating himself up to suicide, I would tell him:

"Hey. I want you to know that you are not your actions. Yes, you did abuse me. Yes, you did hurt me. But I know that isn't you. That is the you that is scared, broken, and in pain. Your inner child is hurting and wounds need to be addressed. I want to see you grow and feel better. And hopefully, if we're both in better places, I'd love to talk to you again."

As I am sitting here typing this, I am sure deep down he'd want to know I am doing well too. In a way, its almost a message to myself. My own inner child :)