I have made a terrible mistake, I should have tried to cancel it, I can't stop crying.

the trip was booked in June when I was better but I haven't eaten or drunk right for months due to ADHD and depression and been signed off work for 2 months but the flight was non-refundable so I wanted to go ahead and prove to myself that I can do it but I am honestly not doing well at all, I am extremely tired, probably malnourished and constantly nauseous. I have a fear of puking as well and the 11h flight scares the everliving shit out of me. I have so many regrets, I should have realised it's the wrong time to go.

I can't do this 😭😭😭😭