I’m afraid.

Something lurks under the face of the water always fighting to breach.

Her natural state is chaos so you build walls to contain her malevolence.

Entropy is her companion slowly wearing down those barriers that you’ve erected to protect yourself.

The method of war is attrition and she’s much stronger of an opponent than you.

She was here before and will be here after.

You struggle.

Every breath, every thought, every last ounce of energy used to keep this beautiful monster from penetrating your line of resistance.

Her call is alluring, she’s a siren.

The temptation that will lure me into her waters and break my ship upon the rocks that she sits perched like a bird of prey.

It’s only a matter of time before I descend back into the madness from whence I came.

I pretend like I don’t know who she is or what she wants from me.

This is a lie.

I know who she is and I know what she wants.

I feel her throughout the fibers of my body.

My hair stands on end when I close my eyes and feel her vibration.

I am a liar.

There is no word formed by humanity that can describe the energy I feel when she calls.

Afraid of who I will be when she finally rises from the waters and pulls herself onto land.

I am light and she is the all encompassing darkness.

Who will I be when my defenses are destroyed?

Who will I be when she finally claims me?

All of this time spent fortifying my encampment.

Erecting wall after wall to keep her contained without realizing that it was me who trapped myself.

All of this time waging an invisible war.

Only realizing it’s been me all along calling out to her to set me free.