Idk if this is a bpd thing.  I reach out to exes a lot, in a desperate embarrassing cringe regret-the-next day kind of way. 

I’m surprised by the lengths I’ll go to do it. I don’t even have social media. So I reacitvated my Instagram account after years of not having it... solely to message my first boyfriend from almost 6 years ago. 

But it was like I HAD to. I know I’ll be waiting for the high of them replying, or not replyinf and I know depending on the outcome it will affect my mood severely onward. 

Could be an addict thing, I gave up all my vices and I’m digging at the bottom of the barrel now. Are drugs really that bad when you resort to this 🥸