Hiya - this is my first post here. 

I wanted to ask whether anyone else has lots of issues when someone changes or cancels plans? Or to changes in someone’s behaviours/actions with you? I feel like I tiptoe around others but inside I am screaming/having a meltdown. 

My mum had to cancel seeing me on Friday as she wasn’t very well. This I took brilliantly and I even suggested she rest up and see me on Monday instead. I know she’s telling me the truth and she kept reiterating that she loves me and can’t wait to see me when she’s better. 

However, my best friend lives in another country and has done for almost a year. I haven’t seen her since she left my country because of lockdowns etc but she is visiting for two weeks (she has a week left). Before she came she kept telling me she wanted to see me and couldn’t wait and missed me so much. Our conversations have gotten less and less and she doesn’t reply as much as she used to/we don’t FaceTime much. Originally I put it down to her now living with her SO, and told myself I can’t expect her to devote all her time to me. It upset me but I think I worked through it. However, we’ve been planning on seeing each other today all week. I’ve barely heard from her and so I started chasing her two days ago. 

I told my partner last night I was really upset as I thought she would cancel and he suggested I just check in with her no pressure. I did send a text and then she told me she ‘doesn’t think’ she can do today as something came up. She’s said she’s having an issue with her tooth that came on an hour ago. I can’t help but think this is not entirely true as her actions during the week suggested she would cancel. I work full time in a really difficult role, have chronic illnesses and lots of Drs appointments/therapy so I don’t have lots of free time. I’m scared I won’t even get to see her before she leaves unless I stretch myself super thin. 

I just have felt really distressed all morning and barely slept because I feel like she doesn’t care about me/doesn’t want to be my friend anymore but won’t tell me the truth. I don’t know how to not let this affect my self esteem. I wondered if anyone had any advice? 

Not sure if this makes any different but I think it adds some context: she was supposed to come at the end of last month because it was our friends birthday but she came the day after  her birthday (she seemingly didn’t tell her either). 

I am sorry if I haven’t done this post right I did read the rules I promise. 

Thank you 🖤