I’ve always had problems with trying to establish who I am. I feel a lot of people with BPD have the same issue. 
The image of myself is not very clear but I so BADLY want to be something. Instead of one person I just made myself into a couple of people. 
I used to ( and still want to but very insecure to let that side show normally), put on different wigs, dress differently with each wig and each style I was a different name. 
I have myself different personalities with each style and it helped me feel better to know who I was because I got to make it up instead of trying to see or guess who I am at the core. 

I feel when I don’t do this I’m very unsure of who I am when I’m just “myself”. I’m uncomfortable with myself and not confident at all. To put it simple I feel very liquid and blurring when I’m myself but when I’m able to separate myself into different personalities/looks/styles/names I feel more solid. 
Anyone else do/feel this way?