Hi all, I feel stuck on this grief of empty promises I received from trusted adults when I was growing up, like many of you did, in a toxic environment with parents dealing with addiction and their own mental health issues. I feel like I was told that 75% of my emotional problems (BPD symptoms unbeknownst to me at the time) were due to my household situation. That if I continued to hang in there, work hard, and gain enough stability and independence to cut the ties nessecary to start my own life, many of my issues would be resolved. I could really have a shot at a semi-functional family of my own and a less tumultuous life.  

Now I have two masters degrees, live on the other side of the country from my family, and still feel as small as ever. I am grateful that I've gotten here, but sometimes I feel like I was only able to do it through the sustenance of the hope that it would be better "on the other side", now I kinda just feel like I am brain damaged and whatever it will take to fix things is much harder than what I have done thus far. Not saying that I will stop trying, but damn. Lately more than ever I miss that illusion that I could break free and feel good about myself, stable in relationships, have friends, not have to hide my personal life. Can anyone else relate? 