So I'm (not)dating this guy. 
He's older than me and is looking for a long-term marriage relationship and wants to have a kid within next few years. I'm 10000% not the material he's looking for. And we both know it.

We go on a "date" usually once a week, we make out, we hooked up... meanwhile he's looking for other people and occasionally goes on a date. He's not a texting type, so he often leaves me on read (it's not asshole move.. he just doesn't reply to everything, I do the same sometimes). He's kinda grumpy, gets bored easily...

It sounds like a bpd nightmare, right?

Well... I don't know if it's because we both agreed on what this relationship is right from the beginning... but I'm handling it really well. I'm actually learning a lot about relationships and I love hanging out with him as friend.

Usually I spot the fear-of-abandonment and he-hates-me-now panic in time and mamage to kinda let it go. Once in few weeks I start feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all - so I cope by simply asking the guy about whats bothering me (for example last night when we were cuddling I asked him if he still liked me, because I wasn't sure.).
He used to get a bit nervous about me asking this "obvious" stuff. I explained why I'm asking - simply because I know my feelings about his feelings could be incorrect and it helps to get direct answer. He simply replies now - he's still super careful about his words because he doesn't wanna sound like an asshole when he says "I like you a lot but you're not what I'm looking for". 

So... what I'm trying to say is that I'm in relationship that's extremely triggering my bpd but is also very safe and well handled.. which is extremely helpful and healthy in a certain way.