Hi, hopefully this can stay here and not break any rules.

For context (28/f)i'm pretty open about my mental health, seems like the best way to fight ignorance. I have been diagnosed with eubpd, anxiety and depression a mixed bag which is hell sometimes but we move.

Part of my trauma is r*pe, the legal and justice system in the uk when it comes to sex crimes might as well not exist. 

Last saturday I joined a group facetime before a night out, my intention was to find out when they were leaving nothing more. When they, two men who i believed to be my friends, answered they were discussing Amber and Johnny. They weren't saying nice or intelligent things almost as if you can tell they didn't actually pay attention to the case/trial and were just regurgitating the info from the bot farms and cruel people online. I know (or thought) them very well true crime isn't their thing let alone a dv case about a celebrity across the world. 

They were saying mean things and brought up the topic of defecating on the bed; the topic of DV is a trigger because i had a shitty ex who did bad things to me, so i asked the following question: 

"what is it about someone who wanted to burn a woman to de*th and then r*pe her corpse that you're so aligned with, surely if you had to pick between that or someone shitting on a bed it's an easy choice" 

Because we all were talking over each other i had to say it a few times before they heard me, once they did the guy who i have (had?) been friends with for 15 years said the following: 

"what? are you just mad they (being the met police/cps/clearly himself/the other person who laughed /everyone) didn't believe you" a variation of this was repeated about 5/6 times (he used the words sad,mad and upset when repeating)

it was clear i was uncomfortable

i had stopped smiling, i stopped breathing and got really sweaty and while this was said the second friend on the FT was laughing, hard.

This triggered a hypersexual manic episode because of course one sentence can ruin me like this, anyway i've spent a year in therapy and think before i speak so i addressed it 6 days later. 

The friend who laughed is now trying to gaslight me and say he didn't laugh, this then changed to he did laugh but it wasn't at that (i was at home with a friend and she heard so i know i'm not making it up) 

The first person who said it has offered no apology whatsoever, ignored a voicenote, ignored my one phone call and i'm here because i'm confused about my feelings.

It's triggered flashbacks so i'm struggling to sleep cause i'm scared to close my eyes, there's no apology, no one can explain how or why this joke is funny, i'm being gaslight, i can feel myself becoming more actively suicidal (currently passive) because if my own friends don't believe me i don't know what to do - i'm not and have never lied about what happened to me.

i am not a liar and i'm worried about my behaviour now i tried to be calm and use my wise mind like my therapist said but i'm ready to hit the roof now, this isn't fair kind or acceptable and i can't process how anyone can be so flippant especially because these are people i have confided in.

any advice on how to deal with this?
am i being to sensitive?
was i wrong to educate them on victim blaming (let's be honest he only said it because i pointed out he was siding with a mad man who has murderous ideations) 

both of these men have daughters and i'm worried for them, ultimately my soul is crushed i'm heartbroken and my head is heavy he made the joke so quickly i'm sure he was sitting on it and thinking it for ages

can anyone help or at least offer an opinion 

thanks 💗