Not even depressed at this point in my life. Have been before. Just tired of it. Tired of going to work. Tired of wasting away my days laying on the couch watching tv all day. Tired of being a lazy fuck. Tired of being anxious all the time. Tired of having a toxic mentality that completely ass rapes my chances of living a happy life. Been making empty promises to myself for years. Change will never happen. Fuck living fuck living fuck living fuck living. Fuuuuck living. 

I feel dead inside. 

Too much of a pussy to actually kill myself so unfortunately it seems I'm stuck in this god forsaken existence for the next 60 fucking years. Wish more than anything that I didn't fear death in the slightest. Would put a bullet in my head so fast. Fuck living fuck living fuck living fuck living.