Lately I’ve been realizing more just how uncomfortable and miserable I make the people in my life. I’ve become a stranger to my family and have no friends anymore. When I think back to all of my past experiences with other people, whether at school or with family/friends, the relationships may have started out good but always fall apart as they realize I’m not a person they want to be around. Even now on a trip with my family I feel completely isolated from them and I can see they are more uncomfortable around me than usual. Theyre talking to me differently then they normally do. I live my life in the passenger seat, I can see myself falling apart and how much I’m hurting my family but I can’t do anything about it. Yesterday I was downtown and got weird stares from everyone I passed by. Families were pointing at me when I walked down the street and parents hid their kids away from me. I’m getting to the age where i will have to move out and be independent but I’m positive that most of the interactions I’ve had with other people I’ve made them uncomfortable and I’m too awkward. Nobody understands that I go days or weeks in a state where I’m completely disconnected and don’t feel real. I feel unable to do things like drive a car or talk to people. I feel like I’m in hell or in a nightmare where Im stuck in a constant loop mentally and I’m considering staying isolated forever.