I (21m) have pretty bad anxiety problems. When I have an anxiety attack, I begin to usually question every damn decision I've ever made practically and my self esteem flies out the door. 

I get so in my head. My relationship tends to end up in the crosshairs of this anxiety too - I end up questioning everything internally. I know I don't exactly take care of it the correct way - I usually clam up and end up responding to my boyfriend (39m) with an "mmmm" or other noises.

This part makes him irritated - I don't know how to stop it though! He also feels like I end up always getting anxious when we're just enjoying ourselves and each other's company, and I fear he's right. It's like as soon as I feel comfortable, I get an anxious loop going. Not always, but sometimes.

When I get like that, he typically just clams up, turns on his music and seemingly tries to tune me out. I think he starts to mirror my current state without realizing, or he recognizes it and tries to stop it within himself.

That usually makes me more anxious though. How do I manage this? I hate feeling like I'm projecting my anxiety onto him. We have an amazing relationship otherwise - we plan to get married. He's an empath times 10, and I think that's why he ends up getting so affected by my emotional state, and he doesn't want our previously good night to become completely sour from it.