I turned 18 this year and I don't feel capable to even enjoy anything, not even mentioning planning something like my future. Not even 4 years ago I spent hours researching colleges and different fields I could go into. I used to love going on walks, finding trees to climb and feel the wind up high, talking with new people, even drawing at one point. 

I try to ignore everything because it all feels like it drains me and just leaving my room feels like a chore. The only thing I have left is blasting Spotify through my earbuds while reading web novels. Anything to take my mind away from the realization that this might just be all I can manage.

I don't want to feel like a complete burden to my family, but it's getting hard to always be a good son and a great brother to my siblings. I want to talk about it with my family but what happens after? They start walking on egg shells around me and treat me like a caution? I'm already getting told "things happen for a reason" and "work hard and it'll get better" and don't want to deal with all the other "encouraging" and "oh so uplifting" quotes they have in them.

I don't know what to do to battle this feeling when I've grown used to it. I don't want this to be how things are but if I can't find the energy to enjoy the small things, how can I expect to have the energy to do much else?