a year and a half ago i had a messy breakup which lead to losing a bunch of mutual friends as well, and ever since then ive felt completely disconnected to my emotions. i’ve been distant and emotionally unavailable to my friends, barely talk to anyone except for the friends i live w, and am super flakey. friends will try to talk to me but i get overwhelmed with continuing conversations so i’ll just.. stop. i feel awful, bc i don’t want to be like this? i want to be there for my friends and i do care about them and love them all a lot. i want to hang out w people n chat to people and create closer connections but it just feels like... i don’t have the emotional capacity to do so. it makes me super depressed and makes me feel rly lonely.
i’ve also tried to go on dates w people but as soon as they show me any kind of affection i just Nope outta there. even tho i want affection n stuff like that. i don’t get my brain lol

anyone else experienced anything like this? 