Hi all. Sorry this is my first time actually posting on reddit, I’ll get straight to it. I’m not sure what is wrong with me? For years and years I have felt abnormal mentally. I am 17 and from the age of around 8 I have felt ‘different’ and like I don’t think in the same way as my peers. Some days I will be okay with a few sad thoughts and others I will have extremely bad breakdowns where I cry uncontrollably, I have intrusive thoughts and they completely spiral, I will be scratching at my arms/biting myself without realising. And then for hours after I feel mellow and empty. I will feel on the verge of suicide and then the day after I will feel back to normal again. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I don’t think it’s bipolar disorder. I’m not sure what to do. I’m hoping someone has experienced something similar and can offer some advice and help. 
Thanks guys.