When I do show signs, I get told to "stop drowning in self-pity" and to "quit fishing for attention"

I'm sick of this. I keep trying to get help but nobody ever takes me seriously. I spent the entire week eating edibles just to be able to sleep for the rest of the day after coming home from school. I barely remember anything about this week and I don't even know what to look forward to anymore. 

My room a big mess, my grades are dropping, I keep pushing away more and more people. I saw an old photo of myself today and it reminded me of how much I truly hate myself.

I should contact a professional, I know. Yet I'm convinced a fuck-up like me doesn't even deserve happiness.