I want to be a good person. 

I like being goth

I like piercings and tattoos

I like feeling cute, but being tsundere about it

I like being impulsive and free spirited

I like being playfully rude to the people I love

I like being polite to strangers

I want to be sassy to people who are rude to me

I like helping people

I want to be a good role model

I'm addicted to hurting myself , addicted to attention 

I need a goddamn job

I don't want to change. Change is scary

I don't know what my personality is. I don't know what's real, what's fake, what's me copying others because I look up to them, what's something I actually enjoy, what's me pretending to like someone/ something. 

I just want to go back to normal. Just want these meds to work. Just want to stop being so anxious all the time. 

Just wish I knew what's real. 

Being sober SUCKS