My FP is my friend, she already has a girlfriend, but I try to text her constantly. However it's hard not being able to reach her all the time. Sometimes I feel like she's completely gone.  In the bus it's kinda hard not to be melancholic because of that and when I arrived at the social worker's ward i can finally text my FP. I told her about my BPD and turns out she has BPD too. I just want to have a girlfriend of my own so I could stop feeling guilty of "stealing time" from my FP's girlfriend. 


Today was especially sadge because I was at home and I couldn't have other ppl interact with me and my FP was especially busy. So I guess I can rewatch NGE again if ever needed, but I wish I could watch it with my FP because it's a really good show and she hasn't seen the end yet. Also Asuka and Shinji both have BPD.