Is it bad? 

Why does it feel so bad? 

I talked with him but it feels unresolved still I feel a bit psychosis(y). He expressed he loves me and we are okay, but why do I feel so unsettled. Why do I feel so abandoned? 

I expressed to him that I felt anxious about him potentially stating how hapy he was .....was a lie and a cover up in acting in fear. I brought in my best friend's opinion and he got frustrated that she projected "anxiety and fear of abandonment" onto me. I think its bigger. I fear I am seaking drama to get connected. I fear abandonment. I notice it, and I can't shake it off. I I fear these vulnerable spaces. I feel my world shifting and I am just in a stagnent rock trying to figure out what the hell is going on. Why is it so hard right now to find my space? Why is it so hard to find my place? Why do I feel so easily swayed? Why do I feel so responsible for other's emotions. I fear that my best friend will take away my partner. I fear my partner will fall for my best friend. I feel invisible. I feel overlooked. I feel small. I feel tiny. I feel everything but me. My heart feels small. 

&amp;#x200B;

I dont even want to reach out anymore but I long so deeply to be reached for. :(  

&amp;#x200B;

&amp;#x200B;