I have always felt like i mess up when I speak and overtime I have lost so much confidence. For example, I play a sport and my team/coach have a meeting and the coach goes around asking a simple question about how our week is going. My heart beats intensely and as I speak, I cannot hear myself talking and then I feel like crying because I feel like I have embarrassed myself and am dumb. then I seem to think about it for hours. I tend to write the most simplest things about myself on a paper and have to read it because I just hate talking.

Sometimes when I get yelled at by parents (even though I am 19) or I do something i regret or my life doesn't go the way I wanted it to and I feel like I am failing in life, I begin to panic and randomly start to have a hard time breathing and start to cry. 

Sometimes I will be doing assignments and all of a sudden zone out and get so emotional and start crying. Once I was in the middle of a game (my sport) and that game, I wasn't playing my best and kept messing up a pass or receiving the ball, and all of a sudden during the game I wanted to cry and hyperventilated to the point I felt like I was being strangled for about 15 seconds. 

This is just one of many random weird emotions I get and my hands seem to tremble a lot but it happens randomly  (has been happening for a year now) and the dumbest part is that its not like some big event took place in my life for me to be triggered like this. Its just events from day-to-day life and I just feel like its really effecting my mental health as well as physical. I just don't know where to begin or who to get help from or how to understand whats happening to me or how I am feeling.