I’d just like to say that I don’t want to self diagnose, I would just like to find a way to feel better. There’s no way I can receive professional diagnosis since I’m not able to see a doctor.

I’m constantly worried, usually without any particular reason. I overthink a lot, to the point where I rarely sleep because my thoughts don’t let me to. I feel constant detachment from reality. I don’t recognise my voice. Any touch feels weird, kind of unpleasant even. I can’t focus, I spend most of days in bed. Interactions with people scare me, usually after talking to someone I end up crying because I feel like I fucked up. My grades at school are dropping and it absolutely terrifies me, but I’m not able to force myself to do anything. My parents aren’t helping. They’re constantly yelling at me and I feel like they’re right. I also can’t stand how I look. I self harm nearly every night, that’s the only thing that makes me feel alive. I have suicidal thoughts almost all the time. Sometimes I get panic attacks, around twice a week I’d say. They’re usually short but sometimes they last for a few hours and are kinda more severe.

Sorry if this is too chaotic to understand, i don’t speak English well.