I (17F) have dealt with major depressive disorder for about 5 years now. I take 175mg of sertraline to manage it but it never fully goes away. My boyfriend (17M) and I have been together for a little over 3 years but in recent months he's been having a hard time mentally. It eventually got so bad that he started talking about self-harm and suicide. Knowing what I wish other people had done for me in the past. When he told me about how he doesn't feel much joy outside being with me, that he wanted to hurt himself, etc. I immediately called his mom while crying on my front steps. I still feel like I betrayed his trust in a way. But on the other hand, I don't think I could ever forgive myself if I knew about his mental state, didn't say anything, and something happened. I love him so much and I want to help him in any way I can. So far the only thing that actually makes him happy is being with me but as much as I love him I do need social breaks every now and then. I like to have some alone time. As much as I wish I could for his sake, I can't be with him 24/7. He only had 2 appointments with a psychologist before she went on spring vacation. That was a month ago which means he hasn't been diagnosed with anything or been prescribed medication to manage it. He's on government-assisted health care that doesn't cover the cost of therapy or psych appointments. I don't know what to do, I've thought about giving him the small 25mg pill I put in my pillbox every day to complete my 175 dosages. I know that will affect me but honestly with the state that things are and how useless professional help has been I feel like I need to take matters into my own hands and I'm willing to do anything even sacrifice some of my medication and my mental health for even a little bit of improvement. I know my meds may not work for him, especially with such a small dosage but It has to be better than doing absolutely nothing like everyone else has been. I feel like no one is helping and he's so damn stubborn that he won't go to a psych ward for immediate help because he dreams of having a collection of all his favorite guns throughout history one day (He's a huge history nerd especially when It comes to artillery and battleships) and you can't get a gun legally if you have a history of serious mental illness. I love him with everything I have. I just want him to be safe and happy but I don't know what to do for that to happen. I wish He had more support but there's only so much we can do right now. Even though I've been through my own depression, what I need may be different from what he needs. I've tried what feels like everything. I've cleaned his room for him in hopes that his physical environment may help him feels less trapped. I've helped him with school work. I've come over to his house almost every day I possibly can. I've tried vetting him to leave the house for a walk when the weather is nice. But, it feels like none of it has worked. Please, if you have any advice for me it's deeply appreciated.