It has now been over three months since my FP died. It was sudden and occurred right after we started talking again (literally same day). The pain is definitely less intense than it was but I still think about him daily. 

Why can't I let go? Why does my brain hold onto a relationship that likely meant way more to me than it did to him? I've been reading about the neurochemial addictiveness of unrequited love.... that makes sense to me but he's gone. I have no new interactions to keep my brain engaged.

I feel a lot of shame around this because it's my perception that people in my life just don't understand why I'm still so wrapped up in him. His parents are still cleaning out the house and I want so badly to ask for a shirt or anything of his..... Ugh. If anyone has any book recommendations or thoughts I'd appreciate it.