The depression doesn’t go away anymore, before it would go away for at least a few weeks at at time but not anymore, this stint of depression has lasted over 2 year now and nothing makes it better except drugs and I’ve been doing a lot of those recently I don’t care anymore, even when good things happen to me I just don’t care anymore, I don’t care about my job, I barely have any friends anymore, im too socially awkward to make new friends and I don’t even care I just go to work go home get high then repeat I really don’t care anymore I don’t even like doing drugs that much now but I still do them so I can at least have some chemically induced happiness and it almost never makes me happy anymore but I still do them and I don’t even care I know I’m just slowly killing myself and I just keep doing it because at least it feels good