[17M] I’m tired of being alone. I’ve always had such a huge friendship group, and now I have no one. I don’t understand why. I think it’s because I pushed people away. Ever since I found out about my sexuality, I felt different around my friendship group at the time, which lead to me finding a group online, who I felt understood me. I couldn’t relate to these people in real life, and they’d constantly call me gay and say slurs when I was there (not directly towards me), but they weren’t aware that I was in fact gay. I’ve never told anyone, because I don’t have anyone to tell or turn to for support. And, now I’m in college (UK), and I’m so lonely. I don’t even speak to those people anymore, it’s like we’ve never even met. I have crippling social anxiety to the point where I shake uncontrollably in almost all social settings, so I can’t make new ones. My parents think I’m weird, because I’m a complete loner and I’m nothing like my older siblings. And, I’ll be even more of a disappointment if they ever find out I’m gay. I’m turning 18 in two months and it’s a joke. I’ve tried getting my shit together and it ends in tears. I don’t know what to do with my life at this point.