Over half of my family lives abroad, and I haven’t been able to see them for 3 years. The separation has been excruciating and I have attempted to book a trip for the past year with constant schedule and interpersonal conflict. Finally back in June I was able to book a trip for a month this upcoming week. I was elated.

The trip is a few days away and I am….filled with dread. Last week I was trying to talk myself out of cancelling the whole flight— that’s how bad it got. I feel ashamed of my anxiety (which is worsened by gastrointestinal and hormonal issues I have and I’ve conveniently been dealing with both this month) and am just so worried about this trip. Worried about arriving on time, worried about catching COVID on the flight and making my vulnerable family members sick. Most of all I’m worried about how worried I am— I’ve been aching for this trip for THREE YEARS. 

I would love reassurance that this is my anxiety acting up, that this is self sabotage, that all will be well. I appreciate any coping mechanisms that help you on flights etc. Interestingly I’m not afraid of flying, not afraid of dying for example, but am so anxious about getting sick from a passenger. 

Thank you all!