I feel imprisoned in my own my mind. It’s a constant battle for one to wake up everyday &amp; not even know who they are. Having thoughts that you feel aren’t even your thoughts. The feeling of wanting to end your life more then live it. The thing that scares me the most is it’s been like this my whole life. Growing up with trauma turns you into someone you fear the most. I feel as if I never even had fit in my entire life. I literally have 0 friends. No siblings I can turn to. My family wouldn’t even understand if I even tried opening up to them. I feel so utterly alone, and I feel like everyone else has at least one person, and I have nobody. I’m almost 20, &amp; have done hardly anything with my life because I don’t feel motivated. I don’t feel capable of greatness or success. Everyday feels like the same day. Almost like I’m just living in an endless loop. I constantly compare my life to how others are living. I compare myself to girls. I had to let someone go that I was serious with for about 2 years, but it was only worse on my mental and emotional state. He eventually lost interest in me but I was so attached. It gave me flashbacks of so many abandonment issues. I guess I’m just typing this hoping I’ll feel some clarity at the end up it, but that’s a little bit too much to hope for. Does it ever get better?