After a while of debating where to post this, this seems the most appropriate sub - but I think it's worth mentioning that outside of generalised anxiety, I also have trauma, and scored within the autism spectrum in a questionnaire by my therapist, pending further examination as it seems seeking help as an adult for autism-related symptoms has been made as hard as possible in my country. I believe all of these factors contribute to my problem.

So, I *cannot* handle filth. I can't touch spoiled foods, or dirty dishes, or filthy water. I have enormous difficulties cleaning the cat litter regularly because the thought of being in contact with, or smelling, the contents seems unbearable. I don't want to pick up the bags from the bins because they stink (nothing out of the ordinary, just regular trash smell), and I can't handle smelling it, or accidentally touching something that's in or on the bags. I'm afraid to touch my own body, because I can't get my hands "dirty" by contact with it. No amount of hand washing will make me feel clean if I've touched any of the former, the ghost of contact with filth lingers for an undetermined amount of time, and I'll avoid touching myself or anything else with the "filthy" fingers or hand until my brain refreshes the cache and moves on.

I keep my lights off and curtains shut because seeing dirty floors or hair (I have a dog and a cat so there's a *lot* of hair) makes me shut down and enter a spiral. Let's not even *talk* about doing basic household care like picking out hair from the drains and so on.

How the hell do I control this?