So for almost 2 weeks now I have been stuck in yet another anxiety loop. This one I am not 100% sure what the trigger was. It seems like every other day has been rough. One day I will fine, almost on top of the world all day and maybe have one small attack after the sun goes down, which I can manage through. However, the next day I will have a nervous stomach, be gaggy, dizzy and foggy brained. What I am anxious about is...nothing. I am only anxious about the next wave of anxiety coming. Hence the vicious loop. 

I just hate when these attacks come and I have no specific thing to he nervous about. The adrenaline and trapped feeling ugh. When you are in this state every thought seems threatening. Everything just feels wrong.  Even when I am safe in my home, my one safe place. 

I need to get out of the house at least once a day and it helps me. Being trapped inside sucks. I can’t wait to start working again. I have been on unemployment for almost a year now and it wrecks havoc on my anxiety. I used to be able to manage my anxiety easily when there was more structure in my life. My unemployment runs out soon and then I am going to get serious about getting another job. 

In the mean time I just force structure into my life. I’ll go for drives/adventures with my girlfriend, work on my car, take the dog out for walks. Trick my mind into thinking I am getting stuff done. 

There is nothing wrong, I am months and months sober so why does my brain feel like scrambled eggs. I can’t wait till this passes, as it always eventually does.