Hey guys. I'll cut straight to the point. So I had an interview today, at times like this I get anxiety poop and nauseousness. I pooped like 4 times early morning right before the interview. Plus I was sitting w a mug the whole time coz I was nauseous. I'm already skinny underweight and physically weak I couldn't even walk properly. It's the worse feeling to have all this at same time, to have your soul sucked out right before an event where you're supposed to shine. I literally &amp; seriously wanted to kill myself to just get rid of all that I was feeling, I was so so weak physically and mentally. There isn't a single interview I've given without before breaking down bawling like a baby. 

I tried breathing exercises, gave myself some peo talk, motivational ones, music(including Naruto tracks) I did everything didn't do shit. It's scary seeing myself like this in virtual interviews, can't imagine how it would be face to face, I'd pass out yeah. Anyway I'll have more interviews in coming weeks and I just want.help.

I can never revise shit during that time no wonder I'm failing all these interviews. I'm a fresher right out of college. My mum laughed and made fun of me when I said I might seek therapy once I start earning(can't afford now), she said to first work on my introvert-ness and to go and talk to people. It just hurts to have your feelings invalidated like that.