I’m going to kill myself tonight, I can’t seem to look at myself and feel useful. I feel like this world has nothing for me. It’s like nothing is waiting for me in the future. I don’t want to survive this time I really don’t I rather best be dead and observe everyone live there life and be happy. I hate myself and never want to be alive again. Idk who will find this but thanks for being in my life. 
Goodbye.

I’m 19 I've been alone for so long I can't even talk to anyone. Not even just romantic loneliness (I've never been loved) but loneliness in general. I don't even have friends.

I've also been feeling extremely suicidal lately, I can't take this total isolation anymore. Even if I have an opportunity to talk to someone at all, I can barely even manage to form a sentence. Never mind a girl. Stutter, stutter fkn stutter. Even if I have something in mind I find it so difficult to actually say it. Who on earth would have the patience to listen to me? Even if I tried to talk to someone how could they ever be attracted to me? I can't even talk to them properly.

I'm so crippled with anxiety I can't even go outside or talk to someone online anymore. Sure I'll comment here and there, but I can't actually have a conversation or form any kind of friendship and relationship.

I’ve tried everything in person dating apps I get the numbers and then they just ghost me. I look around and see couples holding hands cuddling and so on and I just come back to my place alone and I’m  thinking of ending it soon not because of this.