Hi everyone.

I hope you're all doing well.

I just wanted to say something out loud here that I probably have never addressed , even to myself.

I was never a happy child. As a kid , I had witnessed prolonged periods of fights between my mom and dad while both of them involved each other's families in the end.

When I was 14, there were loads of talks going on at homr related to divorce of my parents but that never happened because my parents realised that they have responsibilities towards me and continued staying together anyways.

Throughout the years , I still have seen fights happening between mom and dad and sometimes they would even hit one another.


Growing up looking at all these things , I can't really say I am happy but I have had periods of happiness.

I work in a company , have decent salary but I feel I have periods of depression where I could cry for hours or feel sad without any specific reason.

One reason I can think of is that I'm really thankful for what my parents had done for me to take me where I am today but they still fight.

My dad picked up smoking habits due to all these domestic issues and he smokes a lot to the point now he has to take inhalers. But mom still fights with him.

I feel that my dad won't survive many days like this and I want to help. But he just won't quit smoking irrespective of what I do.

I'm a child of a failed marriage and even though I love both of them , I can't feel anything but depressed.

There are days or weeks even though when I would contemplate the demise of one of my parents and how I would feel completely alone in the whole wide world.

I love my mom.
I love my dad.

But especially the way my dad is leading his life, he's not got long. I can't take that loss especially after all I've been through since childhood.


If you have any comments, please do share them. 

Thank you for reading.