Last night I got a chance to talk to my crush. We made plans to hang out tonight. And I got so happy that I finished my report I've been postponing for months. Cleaned my room, washed my clothes, and showered. Then the plan got postponed. So I felt like smoking. My friend didn't give me a cigar. I got so angry. And when I came to my room I understood that I blamed someone without knowing the full story. Wrote an apology letter. Then one of my online friends asked how did the hang out go? I fucking lost it and cried. I complained about everything. Said I'm gonna commit suicide. I cried a lot. Felt like self-harming. 

Then I saw videos on ice rolls. Planned to start an ice roll business and travel the world. Then ended up watching cat videos and laughed for 15min. Then I got hit by emptiness. And now my eyes are irritating and I wanna sleep. But I can't sleep since my brain can't shut the fuck up. So I started writing this post. What will happen next? No one fucking knows *evil screaming*.