i have a few friends that i hang out with, but i don’t have a core friend group. the last one i had, i split on them constantly until i cut them all off right before high school. i ended up finding new friends, but our “group” is kinda split up and mostly mutual friends. half of them don’t go to our school. i also don’t have much in common with them because i formed those friendships while trying to be a completely different person.

there is one friend in that group i’m actually close to, have a lot in common, and probably is my oldest friend. but she’s also apart of that old friend group i ended things dramatically with. so i constantly see them when i’m with her, and even if me &amp; the group are on ok terms now since its been like 3 years, i realize that she is closer with them than she is with me. and i cant join them because theyve already grown without me and im just an extra now.

i don’t have any group that i belong to. i’m only in one group chat, and i don’t have anyone to talk with after school. i only hang out with people if i make plans or i tag along with an existing group. im always an outsider and i constantly feel so lonely. at least in the summer i could sit inside all day and sometimes hang out with the few close friends i have left. but now im back in school and always face to face with groups of people i don’t belong to. i’m always face to face with friendships that i ruined and that can never be the same.

i wish i could just go to a completely new school and find new friends that don’t know anything about me. which is why i’m excited for college lmao