The title says it all, after my fp leaves I become extremely obsessed in them.And not in the I stalk every social media way.
While on The other hand in a relationship I tend to be on the other extreme side of obsessed were I plan our whole future, look for places we could stay activities we could do , i message them everyday for hours and if their messaging tone changes a Little  or I feel like Im being ignored i will start to panick that they’re  going to Leave  me.
Its Honestly So exhausting bc despises The person making me feel abandoned after they Leave I still cannot imagine myself dating anybody else Besides them.
The thought of being with someone else is repulsing.
I just wish i Could love someone normally and not get ruined by bpd.