Or letting myself feel most romantic feelings. 

99.9% of the time I don’t even notice I haven’t touched my boyfriend in days. He always brings it up because he gets upset and worries I don’t really want to be with him. And it’s not that at all. It’s just .... don’t have the impulse to touch him. 

Does anyone else struggle with this? What’s your experience like? 

BONUS PROBLEM we got in a fight today because I was irritable and made him upset cause I was acting like a bitch. Totally my fault. It’s like when I’m irritable the anger just bubbles up all at once and i feel like if I don’t do something self destructive I will implode. So I was a bitch and he was saying hurtful things and it was a mess. We made up and everything is fine now. I feel guilty and I just hate that this illness affects him so much. It’s not fair because he’s so sweet and generous and patient and has been trying so hard to understand what I go through every day. It makes me feel like a monster. So I’m beating myself up about that. Anyway