I have terrible trust issues and am terrified of being abandoned, especially romantically. I hate getting to know people and going on dates, even falling love over months and months only to be abandoned when they realize I can't easily have sex. I need an insane amount of trust to even begin to think to do that with someone. I've kissed one person and I was deeply in love with them. I just can't give my body in any way unless I feel like the person will be with me for a long time and will never leave.

I know whoever I have sex with first will have the power to kill me with the emotional power it holds and it's exhausting. 

I'm tired of feeling so utterly undesirable because I can't give people my body.