I have been diagnosed with BPD only recently but come to think of it my relationships have been a living testimony of it but it went undiagnosed for the longest time. 

My pattern has always been me being very attracted to those that make me feel “needed”. It has resulted in me getting super entangled in abusive relationships and me always pacifying myself saying love should be unconditional no matter what. 

I finally am seeing someone who is very unlike anyone I have ever been with. Although this may seem like I am putting him on a pedestal (a manifestation of my BPD), for the first time someone is defining boundaries. He tells me does not want to be my go-to person when I have episodes but he wants to be there in a way that doesn’t impact him adversely. 

I am super lost because this makes me wonder whether or not as someone with BPD I deserve unconditional love and support and where that fine line is b/w not being able to get emotional support from your partner and a healthy balanced relationship. I am trying real hard for the first time to be conscious about my emotions, impulses and expressions - mainly because I don’t want to put him off but also because I am so sick of being codependent and want this to really work. But I’m super afraid that I am fooling myself and trying to be someone I am not. 

What have your experiences been as someone living with BPD as far as navigating relationships go? 