Hi all. A little background: my boyfriend has not officially been diagnosed with BPD. His father who raised him was diagnosed and my boyfriend shares a lot of characteristics that led to that diagnosis (extreme and sudden emotional shifts, poor impulse control, selective memory and magical thinking), but I understand if this kind of post isn't allowed. I suffer from a dissociative disorder and an anxiety disorder  on top of chronic medical issues (spine injury, thyroid disease) that make me prone to depressive episodes, and I find myself snapping at him all the time lately.

When we first got together, I noticed that my boyfriend does not cope well with being inconvenienced, no matter how minor. If he can't find something that he needs in a matter of seconds he becomes upset and frantic. I once watched him shut down in front of his extended family because he forgot to check the deadline for signing up for work benefits at his old job... then the next day it turned out that he wasn't even eligible for those benefits in the first place; he couldn't figure that out because he drank too much. We spent the evening trying to comfort him and talk him down over something he could've easily verified. He said it was because he was stressed over his dental health.

Really, the core of it is he jumps to the worst possible conclusions without having solid proof which has put a lot of strain on our relationship because it triggers my anxiety and depression too. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells when he's around, but we've been together for nearly 5 years because I really do love him and don't want to leave him. At this point he probably feels the same about me because I find myself getting upset for feeling like I'm babysitting and we start arguing.

I look at his dad and how he doesn't *seem* to want to help himself, and how rocky his relationship is with his current girlfriend and I wonder: is this the future I should anticipate if I stay in this relationship?

My boyfriend has seen multiple therapists since we got together and so far no medication has seemed to help him much. I'm urging him to try cbt but his appointments are spread out far apart and I'm feeling really defeated today. I know he's a wonderful person, I see that side of him on a daily basis, but I'm struggling with coming to terms with the fact that we are both sick people who might not be able to support each other.

If you've gone through anything similar or found a solution, I'd appreciate your input.