I've been keeping my distance from my fp last few days cause of how intense I get and over fucking think everything. I spoke to him just now and my I've fallen right back into my old routine in a matter of minutes. It bothers me so much much that nobody needs me like I need them. I hate myself for being like this. I don't know what to fucking do. Even suicide seems like a better option then knowing imma feel shitty for this reason again.