I know it’s normal to feel sad when you leave your partner after hanging out but I literally go apeshit and go home and cry and feel borderline manic and suicidal when I don’t know the next time I’m going to see that person. Like I don’t even fine life worth waking up for an existing unless I’m with that person all the time. It is so pathetic. Like I’m pretty sure I’m not going to see my boyfriend for a week and I’m dreading this whole fucking week even though I’ll be busy, I feel miserable and like punching a wall. I have hobbies but I constantly just check my phone all day looking for messages from him because that’s the only time I feel good or comfortable or desired.  

Fuck depression and bpd.