Have a lovely new boyfriend. He’s been my FP for a while. We’re dating now and it’s great and we get quite a bit of time together. But because of the nature of the work we do (we’re in the same industry) sometimes he gets really really busy.

We’re also both poly and he’s currently living between my place and his other partners. I find I’m okay the first day He’s away or busy. But after not seeing him for longer than that my anxiety ramps right up. I can’t sit still. I can’t think. Every horrible thought is running through my head and all I want is for him to be back - or for me just. To know where he is and what he’s doing (but not like. A normal interested amount. I mean. Like. 24/7 needneedneed to know for me to settle)


It’s impacting my life. I know it’s my fear of abandonment flaring right the fuck up.  But I can’t stop it. I can’t think my way out of it. I’m just a wreck until he’s back with me again. 

How the fuck do I deal with this need? I don’t want to be controlling, I’m just a fucking disaster when I don’t know. 

Brains fucking suck.