For a few years I was unemployed and the caretaker of my grandma. She passed away in 2020 and after a while I found a job at the beginning of 2021. I also went to therapy because of my anxiety and depressive thoughts. I finished therapy after a year (in 2021 September) and I was fine for a few months but since January I'm spiraling down again.   
I always had issues with self-confidence but I feel like it got worse lately. I have a tendency of belittling my achievements and I have a constant fear of letting others down. I have high expectations for myself (how I look, what are my interests, how I present myself etc.), I always overthink and I'm kinda a control freak. Lately my friends are talking with me less and one of them even said how sad I made her because I changed (in 2020-2021 my interests changed and I don't care about many topics that used to excite me, I have some new things that actually make me happy though but it's very different from her/our interests that we used to share and I feel like that we are growing distant).   
So I'm writing this because... I don't know it's just feels good to write it down. And also how can someone start loving themselves? How do I stop overthinking, comparing myself to others, feeling like I'm a failure and no one truly likes me? Feeling so empty and asocial? Like I literally do nothing just go to work, come home, eat and sleep. And even though I have very dark thoughts lately, I still want to change this. So idk any advice would be great...