TL;DR - who else sees BPD in lyrics/films/other forms of art or media constantly? Bonus points if you're like me and roll your eyes at borderline people who do similar things.

On to the smallish ramble.

I've known borderline people who project what they feel and who they are onto people around them and assume other, IMO fairly normal, people are borderline. I feel a little judgemental of that, but I get that it's out of a need to feel understood and to relate to others. I don't do that with individuals around me, but I feel a bit hypocritical because I find myself doing that same thing constantly with different types of art/media. Specifically with music and films.

For example, or at least one of the most notable examples, I'm a pretty big fan of Lana Del Rey's "persona" and lyrics. I always liked certain things about her lyrics, and the way it always felt like she was never 100% "herself" when performing in music videos. Once I was diagnosed as borderline, those things seemed to suddenly resonate with me even more. And in true BPD, over the top fashion, I felt this weird sense of like..."oh it all makes sense, maybe she's secretly borderline as well, and all this time the answer was right in front of me in the form of these overly relatable and oddly comforting songs!". The rational side of me says she's likely not borderline and is simply expressing herself in ways I happen to find relatable. The (again, WAY OVER THE TOP) borderline side basically says, "holy shit, my messiah was speaking to me this whole time!".  

The other semi-recent/very recent examples were the films 'Hereditary' and 'Midsommar'. I felt a very intense connection to both the mother in 'Hereditary' and the main female actress in 'Midsommar', to the point that these films made me dissociate and/or cry at many points. I have done both during films in the past, but I usually dissociated because I was distressed about something else, or cried because of how happy or sad a scene was. With these two films, I dissociated and literally had to swallow sobs and try to hide my visible shaking from people at certain points because I felt like...idk. The best way to describe it is that I felt like I was reliving my many reactions to different types of specific traumas. Traumas, emotions, and reactions that were specific to these movies, which I had never seen played out on a screen before. Once again, the rational side of me just says that Ari Aster is fucking stellar at picking the right shots, tones, and actresses to portray mental illness in its varying degrees, especially at its darkest or most subtle points. While mental illness in all it's truly unromanticized and triggering facets plays a big part in those two films, it is never stated that either female character is borderline. It's never explicitly stated what either of their diagnoses actually are at all; it's honestly only hinted at by their words or a few brief actions that they suffer from diagnosed chronic mental illness(es). Still, that part of my brain that wants to relate and see people like me in media insists that either one or both characters must have BPD. But that insistence is usually based on vague symptoms and traits that could be any mental illness (like inconsolable sobbing, panic attacks, angry outbursts, mood swings, bottling, shitty coping mechanisms, piss poor intrapersonal relationships, and what appears to sometimes be dissociation and/or both auditory and visual hallucinations).

Anywho, I kinda hate these rambling types of posts, but who can relate? It feels oddly specific to me.