My mom just found my stash of food I stole from the kitchen…I feel so so ashamed. I just want to disappear and I wouldn't even care if a piano just fell from the sky and obliterated me.
Every time my mom gets angry at me she goes and smokes. I hate that I'm the one who makes her so that. My dad is also worried and disappointed. I hope I just die. Why cant they just disown me so they stop caring about me? Then I can stop worrying about them getting mad and they can stop being disappointed about their useless daughter.

All I do everyday is lay on my bed, mindlessly watch YouTube, and eat and eat and eat because I'm a terrible parasite. Why cant cancer just come for me? I hate myself for being so useless.

My mom later came and apologized for yelling at me and she hugged me and patted my back. I know this gesture is supposed to make me feel better but I feel disgusted when she does this and acts all nice. I hate myself for feeling this way.

I don't want to get better. I don't care about my bulimia. I can be highly functional outside of my eating disorder. I know it's bad for my body to keep binge eating all day but I don't care. In fact I hope I die early.

I feel so miserable now because I've been discovered and I have no food left to secretly eat. I'm horrible. I'm an addict. I'm fact, my dad keeps reminding me that if I keep on being like this, I'll end up like my uncle Andrew, who's in his late 30s and lives with his parents and is a burden to them because he's mentally ill. When we visit Uncle Andrew and his parents, we just pretend that he's not really there. No one in my family talks about him in a positive way. I don't want to end up like that and be a burden to my parents. That's why I hope I can move out and just succumb to my mental illness until I die a quiet death.