So I’m a 19 year old male in college on a full ride scholarship (which is kickass but undeserved) and this is my second semester in college,  I was diagnosed with ADHD recently  and prescribed adderall IR, which at first was like “hell yeah im gonna pass and be the best ever” and now is like “this is the worst decision I have ever made in my entire life” I hate being on it and the comedowns make me severely depressed 
(not an understatement. It’s bad.) 

 I can’t stop using it though! I’ll go a few weeks without it and then one day when things are great I’ll do it even though I don’t want to and I always use too much. 

Now I can’t sleep and I’m missing classes again and I go days without eating, I don’t know what to do. In high-school I was really social and class president, involved in tons of clubs 
(I did always quit because I would get relentlessly sad and I just had to do something to relieve it)  
but now I do nothing and push anyone who talks to me away and don’t know anyone, I want to have friends and people like talking to me but I just can’t do it. 

I can’t tell if I’m addicted to adderall (I fucking hate the stuff) or if it has to do with the bpd?

Also thank you guys for being a community, I’ve always felt so alone but now here I at least feel like we’re all alone together 