I'm a 14 year old guy who's been going through very rough stuff and I just want to end it , I constantly fell drained and no will to live, whenever I fell early fell happy for 1 or 2 days I fell so drained and I fell like I miss being sad even tho I despise being depressed constantly, whenever I'm not sad I fell like I need to be sad and it's almost like I desire to be sad all the time just because it's a normal thing now, any one has anything to say about this?