My wedding is in 2 months and I keep dreading that day coming. I've been with my fiance for 6 whole years. He is the sweetest, nicest and most supportive to me. He is my best friend who I am sure I love. 
However, I've been feeling that I'm not over my ex FP yet, who emotionally abused me for 7 years ( coming in and out of my life) then calling me obsessed with him, telling me he loves me then that he gets a gf the next day. He fucked me up and ruined my self esteem. We still text like once or twice a year but we never mention our past relationship since I've gotten engaged. 

Please tell me what do I do, I don't wanna be a cheater 'cuz I really not that. I'm thinking of texting my ex for a closure and to ask why did he treat me this way. However, I also have this part of me that wants to break off my engagement and run to that ex.. :( 

I feel like I am an awful person. Please let me know your opinion.