I don’t remember when the depression started but man, it’s been a long struggle with this one. Four years ago i became mom, it was not planed or wanted and change my life so freaking hard. My mom didn’t speak to me and i had so much questions about the pregnancy. My boyfriend was cheating on me and playing dumb all the time. My baby born at 31 weeks and my labor was traumatic as hell. Don’t get me wrong, i love my baby, but he became the only reason why i’m still holding on.

i know things get better, but when? i feel like i’m being this miserable person forever. i’m just in automatic pilot, working and living just to not fail for him. i feel so guilty for bringing him into this world and he eventually understand how awful it is. 

i know things get better. 

but i’m just not interested anymore.