It seems like there is so much going on  in my life right now. So many things that make me feel sad. I'm not going to kill myself but I want to. I wonder if the people who say they care would even show up for the funeral. Or would they just be upset because now they have to take over some of my responsibilities.

I don't even want to talk to anyone about this, it's late, I know I'm not going to do it tonight, I'm so fucking sick of needing support and validation. "Don't do it, you're a great person! You mean so much to me." Yeah well fuck you. I never know what's the truth and what's just being said because people don't want to hassle with death. God forbid anyone else have to feel bad. How very selfish of me.
 