Long story short. Got into relationship early this year, gf refused to include me in her life, I supposed the both of us financially throughout. Changed kn a whim to make her feel comfortable… she got shady, I got jellous, we broke up but I refused to let her go, I love her to this very second.

We agreed to hook up still..
2 days ago I was told she is on dating sites while hooking up with me. Said she wants to meet other people to figure it all out. Told me she is having a date today and expect to get laid.
We had sex 3 times before she left to work from which she went immediately to meet up with the guy.

I talked to her during the night whilst working, I was hoping she would realise how fucked up it is. No.

I went manic in the morning, searching for her all over town, collapsed from anxiety attack, ended up in the hospital.

After being let go, I called her, she was clearly just done with a round. I told her what happened, she acted defensive saying I’m blaming her…
That was the moment I cut it all off…

Dropped off her stuff at her home, saw her emotionless look, all I saw was that I was an inconvenience to her…

I don’t know what to do. I feel empty, I love her, but I can’t get the vision of her being fucked by someone else whilst I’m sitting home as if it’s all natural and fine… I don’t want to be plan b for someone if the other guy can’t fuck her well enough… I want to feel nothing, I just want to sleep until it’s all gone.