I’ve always been in and out of relationships ever since I was 16, Lately I decided that I want to “fix” myself or attempt to treat my bpd before I ever consider being in a relationship again, it was an effort to better myself however the opposite is what seems to be happening, with a lack of FP to split on, I’ve become my own new victim, I’ve never had issues with my appearance but for the past few months it’s all I can think about, I alternate between thinking I’m the hottest thing to walk earth to feeling like a deformed monster I truly believe I’ve developed some sort of body dysmorphia and I’m even considering plastic surgery. Apart from my appearance, I analyze my personality obsessively and started doing weird shit like make a list of personality traits that I have and things to change about my personality. I don’t know what to do anymore, no one is really safe when it comes to BPD not even your own self.