I am in a gov program for vocational assistance (paying for school, giving counseling support for studying, testing, job search, etc) and it's an amazing opportunity to go back to school for a new career that I'm passionate about without incurring more student debt.



During this stage of the process I have to walk through showing this is an in demand career, schooling is not excessively expensive, and I'm prepared to take on school + working. I also have to show that the symptoms of my disorder are well enough controlled that I'm not going to drop out of the program a year from now.


During my last appointment, I had misunderstood the action steps she asked me to take in the previous appointment and she was concerned about my focus/memory. So I have to do an hour long academic testing session this weekend. I am freaking out on the inside that I'm gonna blow this shot at my dream situation because I do struggle sometimes with focus/memory and maybe I've been blowing smoke up my ass thinking I can actually do this. Maybe I am truly stuck in the place in life that I am right now. Augh, I really hate intrusive thoughts but they sure love me.