I always have struggled socially. Im 20 years old and have been out of school one year i only have a few friends. Im talking to my ex after 3 years and we’ve been connecting great. I just got my license and bank account set up and the next step in my life is a first job.  Im aiming for 2-2500 a month to maintain a one bedroom so i can finally be an “adult” and the shit things about this are my anxiety. I shake. I cry. I just become a fuckin mess when it comes to new things. At this moment im trying to get clean from my marijuana use.. and im giving it two weeks and i will be testing myself to see if in fully clean for this job. Its at a temp service they hire basically anyone experienced or not.  Ive never filled out an app only once when i was 16. I went inside and the manager didnt even come see me after i waited a whole hour... so i left and never tried since then. Im scared to meet new people. I honestly hate people most in my life seem to disappear. Hurt me. Or lie. Im scared of goin into my first job and gettin looked at as an idiot by the older people. I dont wanna fuck things up. My bestfriend since i was a freshman is the one who wants me to work there its quite simple work you just package makeup in boxes and stack it for 8 hours a day 5 days a week not a bad gig for a starting role? But um. Yea. My dads on my ass about money. My mom kicked me out for her boyfriend. My friends want to get high or drunk all the time i feel like i have nobody. And i dont wanna go into a job this depressed. Ive seeked help. Ive took meds for anxiety and my bipolar 1. Its just hard for me and most don’t understand it. I know getting this money i can buy new things. I can afford to take my girl out. I can finally do shit. But im scared. I dony like to go outside anymore. I feel so small in groups of people i keep my hands in my pockets i dont make eye contact i feel like a wimp. And if i dont get this job my dad is gonna kick me out. My mom wont talk to me. My backs against the wall in a sense. Any help or advice on something like this would be amazing.