So, I struggle with maintaining friendships. Although my friends are those I have had for 10, even 20 years, I have a pattern of isolating for a few years until my loneliness drives me back into talking to them. Normally I will delete my Facebook (the only way we keep in contact) and not bother to tell them why. It's a wonder they still talk to me at all.

Anyway, 95% of my friends are male. I'm a woman, and for the entire duration of the decade-long friendships with my male friends, every single one of them has confessed their attraction to me. It's so awkward, and begins my isolation cycle.

It's only been about 9 months since reconnecting with my friends, and I'm already sick of them. My "best friend" has sent me extremely inappropriate messages, even though he has a girlfriend. I have told him to stop, and he did for a while, but now things are becoming uncomfortable for me again.

My other "best friend" took me out to dinner after a rough break up, which was awesome, until he called it a date. He would constantly message me calling me "beautiful", "lovely", "gorgeous", etc. He stopped that when he realized I wasn't going to date him, and our conversation slowed down from there.

And yet another third male friend of mine confessed his crush to me. I'm so sick of this happening, I feel like these people are not really my friends and are just trying to get into my pants. I have other male friends that I've already stopped talking to, or outright blocked on Facebook. They were the most toxic ones and were genuinely causing me stress.

My only female friend is really, really fake, for lack of a better word. She has BPD worse than mine, and I can tell she has been splitting me for the past couple of months. It was for a really stupid reason, too, and I wish she would just talk to me if she is as upset with me as it seems she is. We've been on/off friends for 20 years, and again, I don't want to continue my pattern of burning bridges without knowing the full story.

So, now I'm struggling to make a very hard decision - are these people toxic? Or am I overreacting? I know I have a tendency to mind-read and catastrophize. I also know I tend to be dramatic, and I don't want to sever friendships when I know I'll have no one left.

If anyone has any thoughts/similar experiences, I'd love to hear them. Feel free to tell me if I'm being a drama queen, too. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
