i’m 16 and it’s a serious problem. it causes me so much stress that i can’t even think about it, or talk about it, or write about and this is the first time i’m saying anything about it because maybe i just need to

if i hear it mentioned on TV, or i hear someone joke about it immediately triggers me and i just think, how the do people even joke about this even though i used to. i used to not care and i used to just accept the fact that death is apart of life and i never thought about it. 

but i’ve become so anxious and stressed over the last 2 years and i’ve been in this like huge existential crisis for the last year or so and i can’t stop thinking about it no matter what. i’ll be chilling and calm, or i’ll be at work and all of a sudden “you know you are going to die one day and there is literally nothing you can do about. you literally have no idea what’s after death.” or i think about the fact that i could d*e right here right now and boom that’s it. like that’s fucking it. life will go on for those around me, the world will continue like nothing happened and nobody else will know about me and everything is still going to continue. 

i got into the idea of reincarnation at the beginning of this year and it have me some comfort but that’s the only thing that’s ever helped me. nothing else can help me i literally just have to get over this but i don’t think i ever can