My life has been slowly going downhill, like a train heading towards a cliff on fixed tracks just waiting to crash and burn. A few years ago, right before COVID-19 hit I felt lost in my life. Even though i was pursuing what i thought id wanted to do my whole life, i didn’t feel like me. once covid started to spread and the school i was attending shut down i tried to focus more on finding myself but ended up more lost and depressed than before. i made some insane decisions, and while i regret none of it, i wished that i had actually learned from them. i have been in the same pattern for the last 3years at least. and nothing but negativity has come from it. no matter how many times i try to break free i feel powerless as i watch myself subconsciously fall into the same patterns over and over again. i got married in january 2022 and spent the first few months of my marriage homeless with my husband. we are finally in a place but our marriage is struggling. i don’t feel happy and i don’t know if i’m not happy with him or if i’m unhappy all around. i don’t feel like he cares about me. i worked so hard to get us into the place we are in now but now that we are here i’m doubting if i made the right choice. i don’t feel like he understands just how hard this is for me. we just moved from the only place i’ve ever lived to a city 3.5+hrs away from any of my family. i have no friends, im struggling to find a new job, money is tight, and i don’t have any will to live. he doesn’t seem to think about me anymore and seems uninterested in the words that i have to say. i just want things to get better.