Like I try to remember things from my childhood but feel like I’m accusing people sometimes like my alcoholic father of shit that didn’t even happen when talking with my friend(s) and I can’t even remember who was around at the time when I talked about it like who I told. But as much of a bad person he is I feel so guilty and gross with myself for even implying certain things I remember my friend just being like “okay let’s change the subject” and I felt really bad because I know it was just my brain making no sense. I hope my friend and whoever else was around if anyone doesn’t remember me talking about my dad like that. Intrusive thoughts do not help I feel like I do have them and it makes me feel like a piece of shit.