I (20) recently came clean about my diagnosis because she (19) is clearly struggling with something as well and I wanted to push her to get help. She told me she thinks she has it too. Obviously, I couldn't tell it to her face "Nah, I don't really think you do", so I'll just talk about it here. So, to check the boxes off Wikipedia:

Her relationships with people are fine and she doesn't split on them. I'm her best friend, she has a few other friends, never had a boyfriend, gets along well with her mom. Not sure about her dad, he's ojt of the picture mostly and is a piece of shit anyway.

No impulsive behavior, if anything she always overthinks things so she doesn't do anything stupid, not that she's had these thoughts much or at all anyway. Never even drank alcohol or took drugs, never even had sex (or even kissed someone), doesn't even have a driver's licence. She doesn't even intend on doing these things, at least for the time being. Not sure about binge eating or spending too much money, though it's doubtful.

No self-harm, suicide attempts or suicidal thoughts.

No anger.

No intense mood swings, although she does describe her thoughts as being all over the place sometimes and being confused about too many things at once. 

Doesn't think highly of herself despite having lots of achievements and basically succeeding at everything she put her mind to.

Possibly deals with feelings of emptiness.

No paranoia or dissociation.


She is under constant stress from college, though, and always pushes herself to work hard even though her mental and physical health are at risk. She fears failure a lot. She doesn't do quite much besides studying. I guess this whole obsession with being perfect stems from her parents' divorce when she was a child and how her father is an asshole who never really showed he valued her. He moved on to another family and gave them everything while completely leaving my best friend and her mom in the dark. So I guess she's, subconsciously or not, trying to prove him that she's a great person and is worth his time and attention. 

So I'd say she deals with anxiety and maybe depression, but not BPD. Although it's not my place to hand out diagnoses and people go to school for this for a reason. I just maybe have a tendency to gatekeep things and feel like people jump on the BPD ship at the slightest sight of emotional instability. 

Dunno, thanks for listening to me rant I think.