I haven't told almost anybody about my depression (the exeption is my best friend, who doesn't thrust me), because of the stereotypes about 13-14yo girls who fake depression. I tried to open up to someone else, but they started distancing themselves from me. I began to hear my name in conversations around the classroom. That's when i told them that "it was just a phase" so they leave me alone and don't ignore me. I had a passion for chess. I used to go to tournaments. I got really good but then my dad noticed and started pushing me to win prizes by making me train with my teacher more and calling  me a loser after every game i lost. I started having anxiety and got that weird feeling in the stomache every time i competed. My teammates thought everything was fine. We looked like the perfect family, but in reality my parents fought all day every day. Their parents pretended that nothing was happening. My father got drunk and yelled at my mother for the smallest things. If i tried to interact, he'd turn to me and he'd drag me to my room. There i covered my ears with my pillows. I had to watch my mother breaking down twice a week. She wanted emotional support. I became numb to people around me suffering. I remember the day when my mum anounced that we were movig out. I was not happy, but i felt a little bit of a relief. As i was exiting the apartment, i felt something around my leg. My dad was sobbing. He wrapped his arms around my right leg and started crying. The saddest thing was that i didn't even care at this point. I told him that i love him, so that he let me go.   


Now i can't start a single conversation with anyone. They have to start a talk in order for me to even say a word. In my high school i don't talk to anybody. My grades suddenly dropped. The high school i go to was chosen by my parents, not me. I hate them, i hate myself, i hate everything. Thanks to them now i have both anxiety, depression and on top of that i hate being with people cuz i feel uncomfortable, but when i am alone i wanna die. It's a vortex, i wanna die