hey y’all, 
first time posting here but I’m not sure what to do so here’s to firsts I guess. I’m struggling so hard, I’m pretty sure my BP has progressed into rapid-cycling (went from manic to depressive in the span of a week) and the depressive episodes are getting worse and worse. I haven’t been on meds in a few years bc for about 2.5 I was doing alright but then life’s been a rollercoaster the past 6-7 months and it’s ✨started✨ again. I used to take seroquel and lamictal but the seroquel was causing me to pass out and faint—I actually got a concussion one of the times I fainted. I tried to talk to my old dr abt it but I never got referred out, and then I tried Cerebral but they fucked me and never perscribed me anything after spending money on the service so I feel like whenever I do ask for help/try to get help it’s for Jack shit. I have a new doctor now but idk if he’s going to be able to perscribe me anything for my BP and he’s had to refer me out twice for my sprained ankle and he never did (it’s been 3 weeks now) so if he can’t perscribe anything for my BP and I need to see a psychiatrist, I’m scared for myself that I won’t be able to wait that long and have to potentially wait even longer if he never sends out the referral. Idk what I’m asking for really, I guess tips on what to do? And do meds actually help? I feel like I can’t remember what it was like to be on them, do you finally feel normal again? My soul is so exhausted I can’t do this shit anymore, the BP has drained everything out of me. I obviously won’t be able to call the office til Monday and give or take a few days for the actual appointment so do you know what I can do for myself until then? I feel like whenever I try to soothe myself during depressive episodes it doesn’t help. Ie I went to take my dogs to sit outside and I ended up tripping in the street and losing the last money I had to my name I’ve been trying to think of things that give me relief but nothing does. I love my pets but they’ve been a huge stress for me lately so I just get irritated thinking about it. There’s not a thing about my apartment I enjoy it feels like a prison in a layer of hell designed for me; it is the main source of my anxiety and depression tbh. Would love to go out and go somewhere but that takes gas and I’m too depressed to go into the club and talk to men to make money. Don’t have anything saved because I’ve been out on a sprained ankle. Can’t even treat myself to a coffee to get a slight buzz of dopamine. Plus when I’m in an episode I borderline get agoraphobia so going outside and walking downtown where there a shit ton of people is super hard for me. I’m so 😩😩😩 rn

TLDR; struggling with a depressive episode currently, and BP in general. Looking for tips about meds/surviving BP, and what to do during a depressive episode. Thank y’all!!!