i have this best friend, or at least I had; she knew i was bipolar, she never saw me in a real manic state though. a few days ago I had a manic episode and during this one i had a bad fight with her; after the episode  i realized what i said to her and that i was manic at that moment; i apologized, explaining that the reason why i started that fight and said those horrible things to her is because i’m not in control of myself during mania; she decided to end the friendship, not because i was bipolar and she couldn’t emotionally stand my episodes, but because in her opinion i really meant what i said or did. I did not ask to be forgive, but at least to be understood; I'm not the fault of my mania. i can’t control my action or words.