So first and foremost , I have bpd so I feel like I’m always targeted by people who really aren’t the healthiest for me. So basically , when we would watch stuff that was Violent or about murder he would get turned on by it. Especially if the people were let’s say helpless or people who couldn’t defend themselves. He loved the thought of inflicting pain or hurting people who were helpless and couldn’t defend themselves . They were weak to him and it would actually turn him on . Even people who were hurting and crying he would see them as weak and he would see it as humor it was funny to him. He would even get annoyed by me when I was visibly upset and wanting to cry I was weak and a p**sy to him . He also had some serious murder fascination for awhile he would watch stuff about popular serial killers and would look up to them it was a literal OBSESSION every single day watching something about them. Sexual wise he was very much into inflicting pain he would want to see me helpless and not able to defend my self. He was heavily into knife play which I know is a common thing in BDSM. He wanted to cut me with the knife and do blood play etc . Anybody else experience this with their ex’s ?? I’ve heard of sadists in the past but I’m starting to wonder if this was a more severe case of sadism.