it is so hot here so i got out at night but i just wanted to get some fresh air. she tried to  have a  conservation with me but  i cut it off. like,where is your home, dont you have siblings,why are you alone . when i told good night and took my stuff ,she wanted a cig , i gave it. and then she asked for the monster can that s  in my hand. i walked away. i feel so anxious and paranoid over it. i dont want to live. everything is so weird like this. i was just chilling. this didnt need to happen. i cant just let go this type of things. i cant relax .