I (13F) recently started antidepressants. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 11y/o. Since I started the medication so recently, it hasn't done much. But I do feel like my suicidal thoughts are becoming more and more intense. I have a plan and everything, but I almost feel like making the date sooner. 

I am a straight-a student in school, so whenever I try and talk to school counselors about my struggles with anxiety and depression, they always seem to disregard it due to my grades. I have a presentation coming up this Friday and I feel sick just thinking about it. I know it sounds kind of childish and stupid to be so worked up over such a small situation, but I'm genuinely so terrified. 

whenever I think about this damn presentation it makes my suicidal thoughts so much worse. I feel so stupid. It feels like my brain is made of lead or something. so heavy.