I just can't keep it up. I was almost in tears on the way here and I'm really trying but I just can't. I feel so stuck in my life and I'm so happy, I don't know what I want. I know what I can do that might make me happy but the fallout out from it will be huge and mess up parts of my life as well as my relationship with family. It will cause them unnecessary distress and worry and there's a chance that I do everything to get out of this situation and then realize that I'm still not happy and that I was better of before. I don't know if these feelings are real and I don't know what I want or what's right. I need to be okay, I can't put the people around me through any more of my bs but I don't know what to do. I just feel so stuck and trapped.