I am beyond frustrated. The stress and anxiety is growing so strong. I feel like I'm getting pushed towards an abyss. I desperately try and fight agenst this never ending wall of problems. I run out of solutions before they can work, and I start thinking of not pushing back anymore. I want to fall into the abyss. I don't want this life anymore. I see the end of this rat race with gunpowder between my lips. I feel myself thinking about the freedom of the end much more often than I should. Life is getting worse the more I push now on. I don't need this, I just need a simple easy life. I have made so many mistakes and my mind is becoming a horrible mine field of cynical thoughts. They get louder and harder to avoid. Relationship, job, school, family everything that could go wrong feels like it is, either in my mind or reality. I'm grid locked with panic, frustration and anger. If I had a gun I would pull the trigger right now. I am not okay. I am on the brink of the abyss.