27f with bpd. I need out. Im not working because some work drama happened and i started self harming/contemplating suicide again. I cant find another job because my old manager wont give me a good reference for all the time i missed work between my bpd severe depression and anxiety. Im stuck living with my controlling emotionally abusive parents who nag and make jabs about my weight and compare me to my happily married cousins.. Ive spent my last pay check on alcohol. Im neck deep in loans and debt. Ive cut off all my friends from being paranoid they domt like me and just put up a front.

I cant do this anymore. Im drowning.