I thought I "recovered" since I didn't have such depressing feelings and thoughts for months until now. Until now I've attempted suicide three times, one early of this year and two other times before that. I'm currently in university and I have landed a okay job which I'm working full time and soon part-time for. Though I do believe university is just a scam in total, wish I knew this earlier. My mom wants me to go to law school and I know for a fact I'm not cut out for it and I don't want to do it. I have no interest but I do want a better life. I've always wanted to be a comic artist or Mangaka of sorts but my family is poor. I don't have nearly enough time to work on anything of the sort while I work and go to school. Drawing comic like stuff makes me feel better but today reality just hit me really hard I guess. 

I was also supposed to change my meds because I'm losing to much weight but I got hit with covid and have no time to schedule and can barely get out of bed. Sorry I just wanted to rant but it's the first time in a while that I've felt this bad and it really hurts.