There’s something refreshing about looking back and realising most of your friendships were transactional. Hardly anything was genuine. The love was tainted. The people don’t even remember you. But I remember. I look back at the past way too much, maybe cos the future is looking shit af. 

I aint got much going for me. Every time I get excited something happens or I fuck up. People truly disappoint or maybe I’m just stupid and believe everything they say. I need to learn to accept for what they actually are and not what they could be. It’s so exhausting hoping someone sees your worth and changes lol. Never going to happen well not to me anyways. I’ve come so close to thinking I’ve found some happiness and then I realise it isn’t for me. Funnily enough I’ll still go out of my way to make certain individuals happy just gave up on myself because what’s the point? Peopleeeee suck!!! Life sucks!! Mankind sucks!! Shits temporary but the shitty times seem to last way too long. I think I’m going to end up crazy and alone, it was always a running joke about me but it’s no longer just a joke more of a reality.