I was always a motivated student, even when it was super hard for me, because of mental breakdowns and depression I had very good grades. Some day I wanna Visite a university but I wanted to start working for some experience at first.
So i found a Job as a photographer and also customer service because the company is still really small. 
The people are nice but at the same time I never felt such a distance between people I need to spend time with everyday.

So the first day was okay. Nothing special and not the tasks that we talked about. Actually I had to do some no brain work where I just needed to copy and paste some customer informations. Pretty boring but at the same time I had my own room and listened to music the whole time. 
At the end Of the day I felt dizzy but that was probably because I drank too much caffeine.
So it was pretty okay. The next day started and I was motivated I even asked myself if I managed my symptoms great enough to be seen as a mentally stable person. 

I went to the store and keep doing the copy and paste stuff. 
Still no fun but actually nothing I would complain about. 
I finished it really fast and told it my boss. Then I had to redo the work of my co worker. And there was a lot I had to change and correct. 

During that kind of work I started to feel panic and incredibly depressed. I don’t know why but it got worse until I started crying. I felt embarrassed even when they didn’t notice. 
At some point I made a break and that was the time she saw me and I’m pretty sure she noticed that I’m crying lol. 

During the time my boyfriend told me stuff like everyone has to do that, that I just need to calm down, that I should try to hide it and that nobody likes this kind of work. 

I realized that I won’t get better so I told her that I got migraine and left. I’m still so done. 
Even when it is already an hour ago. I just want to go home and never go back to that store. 
I feel embarrassed and stupid, useless and not functional enough.
Especially it was just my second day. I hate myself.