Long story short; I worked my ass off to get into some of the most amazing music schools in the U.S. But I spiraled on the way there, working 22 hour days while taking advantage of the person who supported me the most. Now that the financial decisions came back and all my hard work has been almost thrown to the wind, he has also left me to work on himself (in a very messy fashion)

I have been working on not relying on people to be happy with myself, but it’s hard. I have a lovely support system. But it’s time I dissect why I am like this.

I had my first official panic attack yesterday (I never called them that before, I just said “I get nervous/breathe weird”). I am searching for a therapist. I am working and not fighting but reflecting.