It's effort to get up.
It's effort to have a shower. 
It's effort to go to school. 
It's effort to pretend to be ok. 
It's effort to live 

Sounds like a poem and yet I'm still here, hating myself, my life and the Australian healthcare system. Psychiatrist only manages my meds and told me my nightmares were manifestations of my fears and didn't tell me how to fix them. Neither could my psychologist. I stay up late playing games that give me some sense of satisfaction. I play games in my classes because I just don't have the energy to learn. I've cancelled so many shifts for work I feel useless. I pretty much am useless at this point, I have made no meaningful contribution to anything or anyone. I've turned my best friend into a support blanket, then into therapist. By far my biggest regret in my existence. I've read so many posts about people getting better, how the fuck am I supposed to get better? What am I doing wrong? Am I even doing something wrong?  Someone enlighten me, what is the fucking point anymore? I'm tired, I've lost my soul and my will to live.