we've hung out like every day, we kinda made out like hardcore yesterday and i've been extremely overwhelmed. it's a lot to handle. and I just went thru his following on instagram and I feel like girls crush on him because he's cute. I think he really wants to have sex with me, but also i'm not sure because he's such a wholesome person and tonorrow we're going to a museum so it's like we're spending so much time together and I don't know what I want. I don't know if I wanna be his gf because I just know i'm gonna start being insanely jealous and scared that he'll hurt me. it's just really sad. I never thought he would talk to me and want to hangout with me, I was planning on just liking him from a distance. i'm literally crying right now wtf. I smoke to try to numb my feelings with him but I just still end up feeling intensely for him. he told me he might transfer to another college but maybe not. it's just, everything feels so uncertain and I don't know what's gonna happen. I just like him so much. The thing is I can barely open up to him. i'm like so scared of being intimate with him in a non sexual way. Ive always been used to mainly being in relationships where mostly we just have sex. it's the way I feel closest to someone. I fucking hate feeling so intensely. it's so annoying and it makes me think maybe that's why he's attracted to me. I just wanna protect my heart. He started texting me and it's like wtf now I have to worry about why you're not replying. I wanted to stick to just seeing each other all the time. why does this take up so much time and energy. how can I not feel so overwhelmed?