It's my first time writing about my life (and writing this text took me too long) but I have felt really confused for all my life for you to understand me i have to tell you everything from the beginning. 
My parents divorced when I was 4 but still I always felt loved by my parents, everything changed when I was 8 my mom met an Italian guy living in Bali in Indonesia, they fell in love and we moved there, we lived there for one year and then moved to Italy it was really difficult for me leaving all my friends and beloved behind for the second time but some how i made it. The same year when we moved to Italy my mom turned out to be pregnant and the father was the Italian guy and I was really happy, but everything changed during the eight month of my mom's pregnancy when we found out he is a cocaine adict, he promised my mother that for the good of our family he would stop but after 4 months he got caught again by me and he started beating me everyday to make sure I wouldn't tell my mom one year passes and one early morning I was sleeping and heard someone brake the dor it was the Italian drug police they arrested him for drug dealing. Me my mom and my brother who was only one year old where left with no money, we were living ay my moms friends house and my mother started drinking alcohol every day she was behaving terribly insulting and not feeding me and my brother. She told me to go and bring some money home so at the age of 14 I started skipping school everyday and selling weed at the local park sometimes sleeping in the streets and not eating for hours. A year passes and I got caught by a good friend of my family, he didn't get mad or nothing he just asked me if I wanted to go visit my grandparents because they where sick and it could be the last time that I see them, I accepted and he bought tickets to moscow where my grandparents live but he told me that it wasn't a direct flight and that I had to pass true turkey. I get on the plane and arrive to turkey just when I get out of the plane I see my father accompanied by security (I haven't seen my father for 4 years) at that moment I realized that they fooled me and that they sent me to live with my father and his wife. For the third time I had to leave behind everything and move to a new place it was very difficult for me at the beginning to talk with people and make friends but somehow I made it, was going twice a week to a special therapist and was taking 4 medication a day but for 7 moths everything almost went perfect until I started questioning my self what medications I was taking so I informed my self and turned out to be antidepressants and medicines for schizophrenia I stopped taking them and felt much beter but my father and my step mom started screaming at me everyday because I didn't take my medication, they got to a point where they started using fiscal strength on me it got so crazy that I had to wash my clothes alone and being locked in my room all the day until I started getting crazy and knocked out my father shat on my step mom's pillow and run away from home after one week of sleeping at my friends house my father called me and told me he had bought tickets for moscow to visit my grandparents  as a rehabilitation time I accepted and went there. And for the 4th time I had to leave behind everything.
Now I'm living moscow having a great time with my family here, but I started going to a new therapist and got diagnosed with bipolarism, even if I'm having a good time here I feel empty have no friends here and can't sleep well but still at the same time greatful love life and feel really lucky 

Would appreciate if anyone even read this