I feel so alone... I'm stuck in a situation I can't get out of. My past is substance abuse and lupus.  Having so many physical issues it's been hard to work but now I feel like I have no choice. I just recently got denied again for social security.... lawyer said the appeal could be up to 18 months... How do I live until then?  God forgive me but it frustrates me how easy it is for some to get help but with all the requirements I'm just a  nobody.  So having physical and mental illness makes it worse. Currently quarantined with my mom who reminds me daily of my past issues and what she's done for my kids. I just want to be a normal 31 year old. Relying on myself only. I've been married and have tumultuous relationships so I'm def worried about that.  The substance abuse pushed me into isolation so I have no friends. I usually don't mind being alone but at times like these I wish someone cared.  Sorry about the grammar and the craziness of this.  Just needed to vent I guess to whomever would listen. I want a normal life idk where to start or how to.  I'm scared I can't do it on my own long term but I can no longer rely on others due to the constant throwing it in my face and other bs.