Hi. I guess I should tell you my info 14 born..female :/ Anyway I’ve been struggling with something for years and it’s been worse this past year. A couple years ago, I remember when it first started. I HAD to have everything even. If someone tapped on my left shoulder I had to beg them to tap on my right so it felt right. Then it got worse, it went so far as to begging my sister to slap me again (when we were fighting) on the other side to make it even. I didn’t care if it hurt I just wanted it to feel right. I tried hiding it for a while because my sister took it as a joke and would purposely touch only the left side of my body. I wasn’t a joke. If it didn’t end up being even I would cry, have weird feelings like I wanted to hurt myself, and think about it the rest of the day. I also have these terrible thoughts from thinking of harming someone to thinking gross s3xual stuff. It really makes me uncomfortable especially because I hate the thought of doing that stuff. I suffer from these thoughts almost EVERY DAY. An example of when these appear more often is: I’m blowing my nose in the bathroom. I walk out of the bathroom. I feel weird. Then I hear this thought repeating: “if you don’t blow your nose 30 more times and wash your hands your family is going to di3. I HATE THESE THOUGHTS. I don’t want my family to di3 so I do them immediately. I also have annoying behaviors that I have to do or my brain remembers it the whole day. Examples of these behaviors are (this is really embarrassing) putting a peace sign up when I look in the mirror and not looking at myself in the mirror until next time I go to the bathroom. It’s so annoying especially because I’m just watching a video resting and the pillow under my head is fluffier on one side so I have to fluff it up and make it even on both sides or I touched my foot to something so the other foot needs to be touched. Also I get these bad habits like twitching my eye because sometimes when I blink I feel like the blink wasn’t even so I close the other day to make it even. The other day, I hit my ankle really hard on a chair and I HAD to hit my other ankle to make myself feel even and right. What could this be? I’m really sick of this and I want it to be over. My mom wouldn’t take me to get diagnosed or to therapy because she says that anyone who has a mental illness can just “get over it.”