We’re going deeper than the daily/weekly/life things that cause issues and coping mechanisms for them. We talked today about what I got from our sessions and what I wanted out of them. After a few minutes of chatting, I said I wanted to deconstruct my anxiety. I know what experiences in my life made me like this, but I don’t know what to do about it. He encouraged me to think about what I want when I say ‘deconstruct’ since it could mean different things. I was thinking about it tonight while journaling and I realized I was raised in an environment that instilled fear to my very core and I have to root it out.  

I’ve had a decent handle on my anxiety the past year or so, but lately a lot has gone on and I’ve been having nearly daily panic attacks and constant anxiety. My leg was bouncing all day long today as it was my first day back in class and meetings since my uncle passed away. It’s just been too much to bear lately, so I’m ready to dig deeper with my therapist. I know all the things to do to make my day to day anxiety ease a bit, so I’ll start slow and build up. Even though I’m exhausted and still super anxious, I feel hopeful for the first time in a while. I even danced around my living room today