I mean. in a metaphorical way. i geniunely feel so incredibly sad rn i cant even put it in to words. I think i have been ignoring all my problems and being overly optimistic lately, but today, i looked at reality with my eyes opened wide and not with rose tinted glasses.

I just feel like fucking crying, or talking to someone about my troubles but its geniunely hard to do that. 

For the first time in ages i geniunely thought about taking my anxiety meds again because i geniunely could not take the sadness. I just feel lonely, sad and out of options. Im in a bottomless pit of despair. I have been doing this thing alone all my life but i guess i finally cracked. 

I just want to lay on someones lap and just ball my eyes out. I would geniunely give up my life savings for it currently...