I was diagnosed with BPD in the end of Feb. My BPD caused the love of my life to leave me, and I bothered him so much after the break up (mainly because I tried to kill myself after he dumped me) that he has since blocked my number, but I still bother him on Facebook because I'm an awful person. My roommate at college moved out because I was so suicidal. I lost my job because I made an excuse not to come in because I just needed to stay in bed all day. 

It all came to fruition today when my parents kicked me out of the house because they wanted a "calm" household, not a chaotic one (since I bring chaos wherever I go). 

I can't go back to the hospital (I've been there twice since January) but I can't keep going on like this. I feel like everything is gone in my life. I keep getting the urge to cut. I keep getting the urge to take the pills. I keep calling the Suicide Hotline. I keep falling apart.