They basically told me "get out now while you can." but I hate answers like that. It's so dismissive of my relationship, as if it's horrible and abusive and will only end badly. I want advice to help my situation, not someone to tell me to run away from it and abandon someone with abandonment issues who I love with all my heart. 

This is the issue at hand:

My boyfriend [25/BPD] and I [22/F] have been dating since feb 2013. Last summer I decided I wanted him to meet my parents because we were thinking about moving in together. My parents live on the other side of the country and we had to stay with them in their home. My boyfriend has never left his home state and he suffers from a lot of anxiety which he deals with by using medical marijuana. I was really stupid and told him to bring his vaporizer with him and that we'd be able to hide the fact that he was smoking. Long story she told my dad and he sat my boyfriend down and basically interrogated him for 2 hours asking where he got the weed and if he'd been smoking it on the apartment building property etc. Before all of this happened my parents treated him great and liked him a lot and were at least trying to be understanding of the fact that he was nervous being in a new place. After it happened they made him feel unwelcome and were rather rude to him. 

fast forward to now and my mom's 60'th birthday is coming up in may and she wants me to be there. I told my boyfriend and he asked if she mentioned anything about him going and when I told him no he went on a tirade about how all of my family hates him, my mom probably told everyone in the family what happened so now he thinks he's the scapegoat of the family, how I should break up with him because my family is so important to me, how they owe him an apology for what they did to him last summer, and how if I go he's just going to be worrying the whole time that my dad is being a dick to me and he won't be there to say anything to him. 

I really want to go and see my mom. I want to be there for her birthday. If he was invited, we'd have the money to go together and stay on our own so it would be a lot less stressful but I still feel like something would come up to make it difficult for me to see my family much. He is very possessive of me and whenever I am apart from him for long he starts getting anxious, worrying about what I'm doing, and gets really depressed. I love him very much and all I want to do is help him feel better but I also love my family and I want to see them. 