My illness makes me feel like im the only one with this problem, like nobody gets irrationally angry and does what i do? 
i just would like to not feel alone, if anyone can relate to anything i do

- sometimes ill be sad but not anxiety attack level , i just want sympathy so ill try to make it obvious im not okay (when i can handle it) just in a way to show off
- im giving myself a new identity basically, lying about myself to become this ideal person

~~also while im on a waitlist for a therapist, how is therapy like for bpd? do they usually give out medication? 

Also i was wondering because some people with bpd can have those unnecessary anger outbursts and grudges, is there a connection to bipolar? i have bpd but im very curious on where i lie because they seem very similar