I’ve been smoking since I was about 13/14, I am 25 now. At first it was just for fun (high school obviously) but I became an avid user after realizing that it helped me relax and slow down my thoughts for once. I am very anxious in general and am pretty sure I have ADHD but am too scared to go to a doctor. 

I’ve had my highs and lows regarding mental health over the years but smoking always helped and I was able to control my consumption. But half way through last year I started smoking everyday just to get through the day. I started a business and am very busy and stressed, also the craziness that was 2020 did not help AT ALL. 

My main issues are that now I have to not only spend a bunch of money just to feel an effect at all, but after I sober up I feel SUPER depressed about everything. I’ve also become messy and can’t get myself to put away laundry for weeks! It’s a constant loop of getting high and depression from realizing how fucked up my life is. I hate it and want to quit but everyday I end up giving in or I start feeling anxious and even angry sometimes.   Anybody have any advice??