I've always had pretty low self esteem but what little I had left was shattered when I got divorced. When I look at myself now I just don't understand why anyone would want to be in a relationship with me. If by some miracle they do give it a chance I feel like they will just leave me in the end. As a guy being timid, "too nice" (which I get is pathetic to most girls), not tall, asian, scrawny, not hugely successful, boring, etc... sets the chances pretty low. People tell me just be this or that... Ya easier said than done to literally change my personality that I've been struggling with my whole life. I've tried going to behavioral health and it seems like they just brush it off as a common thing or it feels like I'm wasting their time when I really open up. People tried hooking me up but I'll either get turned down because im not X or I will push them away if they even remotely close just to save their time. I've come to the conclusion I am just not meant to I be with anyone. I can not change this mindset I have for some reason.

Just a rant, anyone else feel the same?