I got multiple diagnostics about a month ago and my mental health has deteriorated like never before. It's frightening, I've never felt so alone and isolated. I had a consultation today with a worker at a local crisis center. I ended up calling them last night after having.. horrible intrusive thoughts.

I've come to realize that its very difficult to.. accept. That this is who I am. Sure I can get much better but the fact is I haven't been okay for the past year or more. I've been dealing with this for 20 years. 

I'm scared. Scared my partner will realize how nice it is without me around. Scared it won't help. 

But I'm trying to stay positive. The lady I spoke to said we must find a goal and I'll try my hardest to reach it. 

Sorry. Just needed a place to vent.. maybe get some nice words.