I’ve seen some other posts on here that are similar. I suppose I just want to be heard because I’m feeling alone in my “secret”. 

I’ve dealt with consistent bouts of depression for the past 12 years. I’m actually diagnosed with Bipolar II. 

Nobody knows. You probably wouldn’t guess it in a million years. It’s extremely lonely. I think my boss can tell something is up due to inconsistent effort, but she probably just thinks I’m stressed. I have a good, stable job; I have a solid group of friends; I’m responsible with money; no real major life problems.

A lot of good things are actually happening in my life right now. I’m under contract for a house, I’ve been talking to a girl that I really do like!! Work has been good and I’ve made many key contributions lately! I try my very best to take care of myself and don’t berate myself when I’m not perfect. I try to improve my life in any way to try to get rid of the depression.

That’s just the thing though - I’ve essentially accepted that it’ll never go away no matter how much I try. While I need to continue to try my best, it just feels like a futile effort. Tough pill to swallow. Just not feeling the best right now. Feeling mentally and physically drained.