Hi,
I've always had a normal life from 10 to 14, going to school with my buddies, being happy and all fine.
Then, my dad started having a gambling problem (he spent more than 500k savings, and sold all our property, and leaving us with only 1 small house and no savings, and more than money, leaving us empty without him).
He always played but he started increasing his bets, and throwing 10/20k every night. And 1y ago I came back from school and seen him dead.
Now I'm always all day empty, going to school but not being happy, not being able to do anything if not staying on my phone, sleeping and listening music, every hobby I do makes me sad and I can't even afford anything, nor my mom, and I always hear my mom crying, and she often told me she feel responsible for my dad death, and to be honest I feel it too.
Everyday I cant stop blaming myself, why didn't I stop him from gambling?
He often raged at us when he gambled and he decided to leave his job 2y ago, and everytime we tried to make him stop and get therapy, he told us he was just chasing his losses, that we didn't have to bother him.
Any tip for stop thinking about it? 🙏