Yes, oscillating between these two. I can feel the feeling of being in my room and not stepping out. Giving myself the space and permission to breathe and stay in one place. Embrace the stillness while I embark on a week long journey of minimal human interaction and contact. 

BUT ! 

Every time someone , especially my mother asks me how I’m feeling or we have a conversation about something that matters to me and she actually listens , I can feel a lump in my throat, like I’ll cry any moment. My eyes well up too. 
Not sure if anyone feels this too. 

Can’t decide whether to retreat into a shell or drag my way through tears that are held back because of conversations that are rear.