This hurricane that is about to hit the East coast US is bringing out all the worst of my symptoms. There's so many decisions to be made in such a short time. I'm really trying to be an adult about it all but I'm the worse decision maker sometimes. Then there's the whole thing about so fucking what if I die and my house is destroyed? Isn't that what I've been floundering around hoping for for the better part of 4 years? 

But then I remember I don't want my family and friends to die too.. so what choice do I have but to stick it out and look like a drunk slob during all of it, see what I can do to help and hope someone takes me in. I've lived in a hurricane zone my whole life but this one's really messing with me. 

It's been atleast a couple full days of serious waiting to see where the storm will turn and what category it'll be when it hits. It started raining about 10 minutes ago, it's so strange. We're all just waiting for a storm that could possibly be v tragic or could just fizzle out. "As is life"