I am on a very low dosage of quetiapine, half of 25mg tablet. Lately I’ve been a lot better, I haven’t had suicidal thoughts, I can stop myself from self harming, no meltdowns or anger, actively trying to be nice, ect. Even my crying has drastically decreased. However Quarantine has put me a bit on edge, my bpd symptoms haven’t increased but rather my anxiety - I have trouble structuring my day and doing study (in the process of getting a diagnosis for ADHD but that has been put on hold due to Coronavirus so I don’t have any medication for it yet) and so my unfinished homework makes me stressed. I know what bubbling up anxiety feels like, since I’ve had it since 2014, so I upped the dosage to 1 tablet. My doctor actually prescribed it for one tablet but I can halve it if I want, it’s not the long lasting kind. I didn’t tell my parents I did that because I didn’t feel I needed to, they usually generate a lot of my anxiety so I wanted to deal with it myself. I did this for three nights and I feel a lot better emotionally but I’m a bit more mentally absent. I was ok with this though as I thought the pros outweighed the cons. I told my parents and they got upset and said I should take half tonight, I actually ended up agreeing with them because my daydreaming was starting to get in the way of my study and I felt a bit better emotionally, and more accustomed with having all my family at home during the day. So half an hour ago I went to take my tablet but I couldn’t find the box. I asked my mum where it is and she said she will be administering the tablet. I was so confused. I said I could do myself and then she shut me down and said she would. I then realised she was hiding the my own tablets for my mental illness from me. Like wtf. I thought if I told my dad he would realise how over the fucking line this was but he agreed with her. They said they couldn’t trust me, but like all i did was take the prescribed amount and nothing bad happened. I wasn’t impulsive, I wasn’t hurting myself, I was just taking a tablet (25mg which is the lowest dose you can get). We argued for a bit and they wouldn’t budge. They are literally punishing me and controlling me and treating like I’ve gone if the rails for taking a safe amount that was literally prescribed to me by a professional and all it did was space me out a little bit it was helping me sleep and not have a panic attack or start self harming. I knew what I was doing, I don’t know how they can’t see that. I feel like they were waiting for the smallest thing so they can start controlling me again and say that I can’t trust myself so how can they trust me. But I’ve been good and stable for months. Also I’m 20, like is this illegal. I had to leave the house and now I’m in the park at night. I’m not that upset with them but I think they just have no respect for boundaries and what they did was wrong.