God, fuck, I really cannot believe how hopeless I'm realizing I am. I have nothing! NOTHING! Can you believe that? That's ridiculous? How can a person just have NOTHING to hang onto in this world? I have zero ideas for how to make anything get better past this point. ALL I have is an intellect that has never done ANYTHING for me. I have no personal connections, I have no prospects, I am so flawed that I may as well throw any chance of a perfectly happy life out of the window. I am well and truly done with any wishful thinking. Fuck all of you, fuck this planet, and fuck me.