Having a really hard time not thinking all my friends and loved ones constantly hate me.  I feel like I am always walking on eggshells because I am so scared they are going to abandon me.  I just got told by my significant others roommate (who is also one of my best friends) that I was being too loud (we were just talking in the other room and laughing; I have a pretty loud laugh by default) because she had to work early, and I am now spiraling thinking that I ruined her entire day tomorrow and she hates me now and our friendship is ruined forever.  And this kind of thing happens on a very regular basis.  Any time any of my friends gives me any sort of criticism or confrontation no matter how small, or if I message them and they don't message me back right away or with the sort of response that I am seeking from them, I sort of just implode with insecurity and paranoia and think that our friendship is over.  

I have been very open and honest with them all about my BPD and they are all super understanding and supportive, and have told me on multiple occasions that if I start feeling like they hate me, to just tell me and we can talk through it, and I have before and they usually reassure me and I feel  better.. but this kind of thing happens multiple times a day and I'm too embarassed to bring it up every time it happens because I am scared of sounding totally nuts to them and think that that alone will cause them to abandon me if they weren't already going to.. :/  

I start DBT next week; my intake is tomorrow.. I am really eager to start working through this and all my other symptoms.. but in the meantime.. I am in a lot of mental anguish.. don't know anyone else irl that has BPD that I can talk to currently,  and I'm not looking to have my problems solved by any means.. just sort of want to see if anyone else is struggling with this specific thing and if anyone has found a particularly reliable strategy for dealing with it or at least not allowing it to become so excrutiating.  Thanks guys.