Hi everyone! My name is Anna and I've been diagnosed with BPD since I was 18 (now I have almost 25). 
I have a question to you, did your partner (boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife) make you feel useless when you've got mental distorsions/paranoids that intervene on your daily routines,like working,or let them have their time alone ( in the computer or with friends)? I'm very co-dependant and extremely jealous about my partner, at the point that when I'm working and I know he's alone home or with his friends,I enter in extreme panic and anxiety atacks,making me so sick,uncomfortable and unstable,thinking about he might be with another girl or criticizing me with his people. 
I'm unable to trust him altough we've been together for more than a year and we live together. 
Sometimes I feel like I've to leave him and stay alone cause the problem is me, and sometimes I think the problem is his coldness towards my BPD. I understand he might be tired of me being distrustful of him everytime he leaves my side,but he  has threatened me about ending our relationship if I don't start trusting him,how can I do this? Is there any advice that could help me trusting that he won't cheat on me? 
(Is worth mentioning he's been a drug addict and alcoholic in the past, and one night he lied to me telling that he was only going for a couple of beers with his friends, and ended up in the hospital cause he flirted with someone's girlfriend and the guy punched him in the face. He told me this 6 months after it happened,when I've spent this whole six months asking him if he got punched cause he flirted or he was on drugs and he told me all the time that it wasn't for that)
 He has promised it won't happen again, and quitted drinking and partying, but my fear is that someday he goes out at night and he does that to me again. 
I NEED DESPERATLY HELP, OR MY RELATIONSHIP WILL END OR I'LL BECOME INSANE. 

THANKS FOR YOUR ATTENTION, HAVE A GOOD DAY, AND ANY ADVICE WILL BE APRECIATED.