I'm high functioning in most cases; if I stay away from triggers I'm hardly problematic buuut my biggest trigger is disappointment in any form, so it's pretty hard to stay away from all triggers.

Don't need too much backstory here. My husband has thrown himself into his job over the past year and I usually sleep alone, when he's home he is usually asleep, and I miss him a lot and sometimes have meltdowns on him because when he sleeps it feels like he's ignoring me. Because of all the hard work he told me that his boss wanted to promote him. Due to a whole bunch of stuff over the holiday season (none of it being his fault, he was still doing a good job and staying in late), they hired someone else for the promotion and told him tonight.

I wanted to quit my own high stress job for mental health reasons and it was only feasible if he got the promotion. I am devastated. I keep yelling at him that he screwed it up and that he doesn't love me enough to try hard. But that isn't true. I don't know. When I look at him it feels true. Fuck. And he doesn't need me beating him up when he's down like this. He's in the shower now... I'll probably say more terrible things to him when he gets done and comes in. And then be fucking sorry as shit and beg for attention and just be depressed for days. Fuck.  