Probably a worthless question in desperation for a comment that will magically make me give a shit about my well-being.  I've been here before in my head but it feels different this time. I am worthless. I am cruel. I am selfish. I am BPD and it has both hands on the steering wheel. I am fully aware of treatment and medications, but these wounds cut too deep. I can't forget to mention my polysubstance abuse/dependence on mostly street drugs. Thats all I care to write. Comments or not I'll do what I want to do, I feel like I've heard it all before.