it’s so hard to long for connection, intimacy and love your entire life and have to wait so long for it with another person. it takes so so so much patience to not settle for half love, half effort, physical touch that may or may not feel good in the moment but you know the depth of love/trust/safety is not truly there. this is why i choose solitude because it will feel worse to essentially settle for a temporary feeling when i know the person doesn’t have the desire to fully learn and love one another — im 24 and i know most people have casual sex/dating on their minds and i often feel like the underlying goal is sex, not connection or love which i won’t allow and deserve so much more than — and don’t even start on limerence, becoming obsessed with the idea of a person based on the feelings they evoke but literally barely even knowing them or receiving no reciprocity of emotion or desire to connect deeper. i know i have to be solid and self sufficient emotionally first - not relying on my partner to fill this void of safety/connection/unconditional love/intimacy left from unmet childhood needs - but it’s really hard