(TW mentions of suicide) 

Hey guys, I'm posting  here to see if anyone can relate and maybe share their experience.

So I have attempted several times before one being major hospitalization, and have been diagnosed with major anxiety and depressive disorder. I have taken Celexa in the past and it has worked. However I'm terrible with staying consistent and I hate the withdrawal symptoms. 

I'm going to bring this up with my therapist but I realized I can't stay consistent because I don't want to take my meds. Yes I want to get better and I have from that last attempt 3 yrs ago, but I want to do it without meds. I think I lack discipline and grit and I feel like I use my mental diagnosis as the fault for all my woes.

But the things is I'm having so much difficulty getting to where I want to me emotionally and mentally without the meds and it's upsetting me. Obviously the answer should be to suck it up and start my meds but there must be another way.

Anyone?