I'm 14 and I believe I have this. I would be happy and joyful at school and I would feel miserable and sad at night, so much that I cry myself to sleep.

I sometimes love my dad, but any little thing he does make me angry, resenting him. My mom and sisters do their normal things, but I hate them for no reason, and can't make myself appreciate them. My mom recently told my sister she wished she had given me away when I was born.

Even though the people I know would support me, I still feel abandoned. I think they are just faking it and deep down hate me, even when there's rarely any proof. 

I have unstable morals. One day I believe in hope, the next I say that hope is merely just an imagination of the weak. I don't know who I am, what I want to be, what I want to do, I just don't have purpose. 

I get impulsive over small things. Me struggling with online school work? I throw tantrums and punch myself. Losing in a video game? I start screaming until my head and mouth hurts.

I have friends and family (who probably don't love me), yet I feel abandoned. They are not the type of people who would be there for me, but when they are, I accuse them of being fake. I can't help it, that's just how my brain works.

I told my mom and dad about this and said I think I have bpd. They just said "mental illness isn't real, just stop feeling the way you are and fix yourself." That's all I get.

I've been feeling like this since I was 11, with suicidal thoughts almost every single night. And no one would want to help me.

The point is, I would feel happy, joyful, then angry, sad, and abandoned in a span of an hour. These negative thoughts just stay in my head and they just won't go when I want them to.