I keep breaking no contact and trying to work a romantic relationship that keeps me on a roller coaster of love-bombing followed by constant negativity, manipulation, anger outbursts and verbal abuse.

This is my FP. When I cut contacts, it feels like a relief but then it slowly starts feeling like the hole he left is making me feel empty and extremely depressed.

How do I switcg this mindset? How do I cope with my constant need to have him feel that void even though it's so toxic?

Sometimes I wish I could just love someone in a healthier way ans not rely on them to be happy.