Hello

I'm in a relationship of sorts and while he knows that I have BPD and Bipolar, I've been testing his patience. 

I came to these BPD subreddits (including the support ones for partners and loved ones) and am really discouraged and upset by what I've learned.

1. We're seen as abusers, gaslighters.
Surely we're not all this way? 

2. Common advice for people wondering if they should get into a relationship with a BPD person is "run".
And we wonder why we have a constant fear of abandonment

3. We're selfish manipulators
Any manipulation and perceived selfishness is to literally mitigate our crippling fear of abandonment and our anxiety. My advice? Get into sales. A really safe place to cure that manipulation bug 

4. We have no redeeming qualities
Surely the fact that we feel extremely deeply, are really sensitive to others behaviours and that the sex with us is off the charts must be somewhat redeeming


I've spent time in DBT and CBT and have learned to self evaluate although I fucked up with the guy I'm involved with. I should have gone for a walk or taken a shower but instead I texted. A lot.

Then I came to Reddit for some advice and was shook at how we are perceived. I get that part of the disorder is not being able to objectively see what we do, especially when angry, but now I am completely disheartened. 

Can anyone help me here? Good articles not demonizing us?