(TW-Suicide, Drug Addiction) 
Okay so I’m going to start off by saying that I am a 19/m and I started taking adderall or amphetamines in general when I was 8. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 7. 
All the way up from 3rd grade (8) to about sophomore year (14) everything was fine I guess and than junior year turned around and I was on 54mg of it and I started feeling like a zombie and extremely depressed with anxiety. I went to a doctor who said adhd wasn’t real and took me off the meds cold turkey than I developed like extreme depression and panic attacks I than attempted to kill my self and it was only than when I got admitted to a hospital they said it was withdraw from adderall. I was 17 when this all happened. The hospital that I was admitted to said that I do have adhd and should take meds again after like 4 months of not which I agreed so I started taking 20mg and every since than (about 2 years) it’s like amazing for me. Like I go spurts of not taking it so I can intentionally feel the power of it more without abusing a high dosage. The whole question of this is a few things 
1. Is this because I have been taking it for so long that I feel this way because it’s what nearly all I know? 
2. Is it normal to feel like a super hero on adderall even with adhd? 
3. Will this become a problem for me in the future?