I wish my mind would shut up sometimes it keeps working itself into overdrive and it's been getting harder to snap out of it I've never felt so pathetic and weak all I want to do is end myself and that's a feeling I haven't hit in a long time but the only thing keeping me alive is the disappointment and embarrassment of failing. 

I'm just so unbelievably tired I just want to be a normal 19 year old not someone who can barely function without getting frustrated.