
I have had anxiety and depression for a very long time. I do not know what normal is. 

Loving a person with mental illness could not be easy. Normal people do not get what we go through. They cannot empathize. This is what I believe. So, I’ve stopped telling people around me that I’m suffering. That I’m dying on the inside. Because I do not want to burden them. I do not want to scare them. I do not want them to think less of me. 

I am scared if I tell them what’s actually going on in my mind, they might just recoil in horror.

I don’t think they deserve that kind of information. So I keep everything within me. 

All these thoughts make me think it is hard to love me. So I over compensate. I never tell the person on the other side of the screen that I’ve been crying for the past hour wanting to kill myself. I do not want to scare them. 

All these thoughts and reasoning make be believe that people like me, people who have mental illnesses do not deserve love. Because the relationship might be unfair to the other person.