And that's okay. It's the only way I can cope right now. I get so much anxiety wondering who or what I am to people, wondering if I matter or if people want me around at all. When people don't talk to me, when my FP chooses not to hang out with me, my brain goes into overdrive and I start worrying. I don't have any self worth, I can't imagine why anyone would want to hang out with me. 

It's easier to accept that I simply don't matter because it answers all my worries. I don't matter. No one needs me around. Why isn't so and so talking to me? Why isn't my FP texting me? Oh that's right, I don't matter. 