I’m high right now after having one of the worst / best weeks of my life. I say the worse because of situations that occurred, experiences that weren’t pursued. It occurred to me that I had the blues, which I described to myself as the music of depression. I say this because it talks about those situations that would get you into the blues. But enough of that. I seriously want to disappear and escape this life I’m living. To have a fresh reset off in another state. Another country! To be able to forget everything that used to be me. To close my eyes and wake up in a new place. It’s so dark right now and so many close to me are in that same dark place inside themselves. I think to myself, “will we all survive?, come out the other end of the pool?”. 
I’m going down, deep deep down.