I really try to suppress it and I keep it a close secret I don’t want anyone to know, when I was 11 I planned to kill myself. I got help but I still have scucidal thoughts to this day, I am 18 now but I don’t tell anyone I don’t want anyone to worry about me, I mean I have things to look forward to but sometimes I just feel so numb and hopeless, but I keep going somehow. I just don’t want anyone close to me to know.