Warning: Could be triggering if you are currently not in a good place with your anxiety. 

I've always been a worrisome, nervous child. I was prone to overthinking and as I got older, my anxiety has gotten much worse. It got so bad to the point where I had to stop school for a bit because I couldn't get through a class without having a mild anxiety attack at some point.  It's my birthday tomorrow and I have spent the year leading up to it in the worst health I have been in my entire life.  I feel like every time I take a step forward in regards to my anxiety, I take 2 steps back.  I knew it was getting worse when I had a meltdown at a restaurant when someone asked the waiter to order when I wasn't ready.  I couldn't stay inside a shop because the number of people made me feel like a was suffocating. Today I couldn't even scroll through my email without feeling like someone was clawing at my chest.  I'm always on the edge, I get no restful sleep, and when I do, I have an anxiety-ridden dream.

I don't really feel like myself anymore. I feel more like a puppet that this illness has taken over, and no matter how much I try to take control, the strings kept being pulled tighter.

I know this is more of a rant, and I don't know if anyone will see this, but I think I just needed to write this down.