Update from [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/BPD/comments/j9lkwu/ive_finally_made_some_progress_and_i_cant_really/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf)

My new job is fantastic when I get to be alone, it’s perfect actually. Downside when my boss is there it becomes absolutely intolerable. I’ve had to fake being sick a few times because of how unbearable it is to be bossed around in a small business. I don’t know why I can’t handle it. Why am I so bad socially? 

I started seeing a therapist. He is absolutely amazing, and the best one I’ve ever had. Downside is resurfacing my past has been triggering self harm and suicidal thoughts which have been extremely tough. 

I finally have the most savings I’ve ever had and I’ve been able to do things and buy things and it’s been so bloody lovely. Downside is my impulsivity towards spending has been suffocating me and stressing me out trying to control myself and my spending.

Life is so so good at the moment, best it’s ever been, but this illness makes everything so so hard. Why can’t it ever give me a break? I’ve achieved SO much recently, and yet it feels like it’s taken every ounce of energy to get myself here when it takes normal people barely anything. I’m super tired but still pushing on you guys! I just need a little push to help.