I'm 18, F, still a virgin. I have a M FP but we've only been friends for the past 10 months. Lately I've been feeling really impulsive and I decided to finally ask him for fwb sex. He agreed and is supposed to come over tonight. 

I'm really scared I'm going to get even more attached to this guy than I already am. We can't get into a romantic relationship because I'm leaving for college this Fall, plus with my bpd I just don't think relationships are a good idea, I've never been in a serious one. But this guy is my entire world. We spend so much time together already, like it's at a point where he's been sleeping over alot. Idk what this experience will bring for us. Part of me feels like it's only going to make things worse, but I've wanted this guy so badly for the past 10 months and I'm finally getting what I've been dreaming of. Plus idk if I'll be able to please him very well cos it's gonna be my first time. I just really don't want this to ruin our friendship, and while it would be nice if it turns into a relationship, I don't think that's a good idea.

Idk I'm just really nervous about this whole thing, just needed to vent about it.