Shit ton of dates, no one that interests me.

Academically inclined and almost done with my phd in biosciences, nothing that fazes me there anymore.

I have some friends, nobody cares for whatever is going on with my life.

Tried to get a therapist, they all have a loooooong queue which are full and they don’t accept new people.

Suicide as an escape route is once again an idea in my head after almost a decade.

I just don’t want to be alive anymore.

I just don’t want to be so disinterested about my surroundings anymore. I don’t want to be rejected by anything that slightly interests me because I’m a mediocrity to whatever I get my hands on. 

I just want my life to be over. I beg, For a street accident. For a sudden heart attack. Anything please!!!!