I’m currently in a relationship with someone who does not have BPD and things have gotten very toxic with us within the last few months. I often take blame for every problem in the relationship because I feel ashamed and find it difficult to trust my own judgement. Whenever I’m triggered I think that my feelings are the absolute truth, and when I calm down I realize I overreacted. 

This leads to a cycle in my relationship where any need I express, or any problem I bring up  that makes my partner slightly uncomfortable is labeled as a “lie” or an “exaggeration” even when it’s absolutely true. I end up questioning all of my needs and have a difficult time discerning between a BPD need/reaction versus a “regular” one. 

I’m curious to know if anyone else has experienced this and has any advice. Thank you!