I’m completely a wreck. I haven’t slept for more than 2 hours for 4 nights straight. He was hospitalized on Sunday and every time I’ve had the chance to talk to him or the nurses have said they may need to put him on a ventilator soon. My mom has dementia and he’s her care taker, she’s a complete wreck and will be completely lost without him. 

I’ve had so many panic attacks this week I couldn’t even count. Every muscle in my body hurts from being so tense. 

I just want to go numb. I can’t take this torture much longer. I just want my dad to be ok. I just want some good fucking news.