I had something of a breakthrough a few years ago. I got a diagnosis and started making my way towards self-improvement. I used to be a pathological liar. I really feel like that was the toughest manifestation of my bpd (it's connected for me, though I know it's not a direct bpd symptom). I'd lie about everything because I was so lonely and so desperate to feel loved. I basically created a new persona on social media and tried to be that person. It was a form of manipulating people into being friends with me and caring about me. I wish I hadn't done any of it.   


Anyways, 3.5 years ago, I got a diagnosis, got some therapy, quit social media, left my miserable relationship, and stopped drinking. I cut off my old friendships (mostly internet ones), by vaguely telling them that I had to work on myself. I took a year to just work on self-improvement and I went back to school, which really helped me a lot. I don't lie to people anymore and I've made some new irl friends, who I have healthy and manageable relationships with.   


I'm having a lot of trouble moving on from my past mistakes. I've reached out to people who I've hurt the most, like my ex , and made direct amends. I also try to make living amends through volunteering, and I'd eventually (when I'm healthier) like to go into a mental health profession, but right now I'm not sure how to forgive myself. I'm working on it in therapy, but honestly the levels of self-loathing is getting dangerous, and I know that it can act as a some for some of my old behavior. How have some of you managed this transition? Does this feeling ever fade?