Hi everyone! I’m a 19 year old nursing student and I just found this sub. When I was younger I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, which later evolved into BPD as I started nursing school and was able to recognize my signs and symptoms. I’m on no medication because the only hospital that takes my insurance is hours away and honestly the psychiatrist sucks at getting in touch and responding to messages so I’ve given up in that department. Now what I’m reaching out for help with is having huge breakdowns in my relationship. My boyfriend lives with me, he’s sweet as can be, deals with me as well as he can, but I often find myself screaming at the top of my lungs as hitting him and hurting myself for the smallest of reasons. I feel like I’m genuinely going crazy. I hate myself, like I obsess over my appearance and could write a book on all the features that I hate. I want to stop these screaming breakdowns that end with me on the floor threatening suicide and wanting nothing more than to be gone. Of course I scream hateful things at him when I’m mad and tell him to leave and then get so upset and beg if he does. I need help. Anything you can recommend, I’m so desperately trying to save myself