I self harmed for the first time in a while a few minutes ago. The whole time I was so disconnected from the experience and it almost felt vaguely amusing (in a very empty, emotionless kind of way? idk how to describe it). now I feel ashamed (as I knew I would). I have no idea how to cope right now. I'm really hoping the clinic gets back to me about a psychologist soon. I've been on a waitlist since mid-March (unless I was never added to the list?)

Idk why I'm posting this other than the fact that no one I know will find out about this but I feel like telling someone.