I'm two months clean from a heroin/fentanyl addiction.   I  recently GOT a job offer as a flight attendant, a job  I've wanted since I was eleven!

I am, for the first time in a long time, able to save up a little money. I'm no longer struggling to make ends meet. I've experienced homelessness, sexual trauma, and a lot of obstacles as a result of my disability. I've had the odds stacked against me. And now I'm finally going somewhere.

I was living each day in survival mode.  Now I actually see a future.

For once, I feel like things are looking up. Yet I feel so unhappy.

I've been able to handle cravings since I've been on Suboxone, but now the cravings are becoming increasingly more prominent. 

Why would I be so unhappy when I should be happy?

I miss the days when I was using, although I was constantly sick and broke. 

What's wrong with me? :(