I can't believe I'm spiralling down again. I'm so stupid. Last year was probably one of the happiest year in my life. I had goals and was determined to achieve that. I had good grades. I thought I finally developed strong principles enough to discipline myself but I guess it's not strong as I thought? 

This year, I don't even know what I'm doing. I feel so lost all the time. I'm so close on giving up. I had to stop thinking ending it all because I don't want to leave people around me traumatized.