I just found out he was watching porn when we weren't talking for three days and I want to die. I feel cheated on. I feel like it's cheating because I told him in the beginning that it was not something I would be okay with and he agreed. I literally said I wouldn't be with him if he wanted to watch porn. It's literally the number one reason that I don't want to have anything to do with relationships and I made that very clear. I'd rather be single than be in a relationship where you watch porn and hide it from your partner. Now, I understand that most people have no problem with it but I just cannot do it.  So I told him that, I was veeery honest about it. I would've been fine had he told me there that "No I will be watching porn", I would've just said okay that's fine, hope you find someone whose okay with that. But he told me not to worry and promised me he would never ever do it. I asked him several times if he really was okay with it and he assured me.

So that's the backstory I guess, I'm so upset and it's hard to write so things might not make sense. Anyways so he just confessed that he has watched porn and my whole world just crushed, I just started screaming on top of my lungs. I feel disgusted and I feel as if all my feelings for him just flew out the window. He watched another girl naked... because he was mad at me? No matter how I think about it, it's such a betrayal and I can't even... I don't know what to do. I feel like he cheated and I'm so close to just ending my life right now...  I can't even talk to anyone about it because most people don't understand and just think it's immature. I know, but that's why I set those boundaries because I just can't handle it :(