My ex (who has BPD too) split on me a couple of years ago and ended things with me very suddenly after an anger outburst. They never spoke to me at all until a couple of days ago. After I'd emailed them (they'd previously ignored me) they actually responded and we then had a phone call. 

They apologised for everything and admitted that it was their fault, and that they had felt bad and wanted to be with me, but didn't think it was fair to bring someone else (me) into their 'world' at the time, when they were a mess. They told me they are now in therapy and working on these patterns. 

They also said that we do get on and it's effortless and whatever, but that we can be very codependent and intense, and that we probably wouldn't be able to be friends. This was fine, but then it seemed that my ex started blaming me for some things and being quite blunt - telling me that they thought I was "crazy and obsessive", and that this was a reason they couldn't be friends with me. They were referring to me reaching out and asking for closure, which I did more than once. 

It seemed at times in the conversation they were empathetic and understanding towards me being hurt and why I'd acted like that, but at other times not, and calling me "crazy". I don't understand how on one hand this person was admiring fault but on the other, seeming not to understand and using my attempts at contact to castigate me. 

In the conversation we were laughing and joking and it felt very much like old times, and I feel like even now, this person is in therapy and working on being healthy, and has admitted to breaking up with me due to their own reasons and not anything I did, but still doesn't want to know me, telling me I have toxic behaviours (which maybe I do) and that they can't be friends with ME, despite it being them that caused the problem in the first place. The reasons for not being friends seemed to keep switching, too. 

I just feel that I have been rejected again, and that the entire phone call was inconsistent and confusing, even though there were a lot of positive aspects to it, too. I realise people are entitled to do what makes them happy and feel safe, but I feel like initially I didn't even do anything - which this person admitted - but there's been no reversal or want to have me back in their life, and I'm being rejected again.

I really just can't make sense of any of this, and I've started feeling so low, again.