I’m 27/F and have dealt with anxiety since age 18. Been in therapy for years and been on medications for years too (my diagnosis is Major Depression and Generalised Anxiety). I handle my anxiety well these days, but some situations cause it to feel worse. One of these relates to talking with extended family members (uncles and aunts) who feel the need to judge my work/study decisions. My ‘pathway’ hasn’t been a typical one because my field is more theoretical as opposed to ‘practical’ (e.g. I didn’t study to directly pursue a certain occupation like a nurse, teacher, doctor, psychologist etc). I have explained more about this below. For some reason, several uncles and aunts just cannot seem to understand what I do, and they think it’s okay to make comments. They often also pull judgmental facial expressions while I try to explain myself. It just makes me SO anxious trying to talk to them about it, because they either just judge me straight away, or they ask me many questions/interrogate me in a critical way. 

I have a Bachelor of Criminology and am now doing my Masters by Research in Criminology. I am also a Peer Support Worker primarily in the mental health field. This involves supporting people with their mental health challenges, but it also relates to my criminology background because most of our clients come from very disadvantaged backgrounds, have been victims of crime like abuse, regular contact with police, are homeless, drug addicts, refugees etc. Next year I’m planning to do my PhD, and while pursuing this research I would like to continue working in a support-based role. I really like where I’m at in life now, and I love being able to do research in an area of my choice (broadly - intersections between crime/violence/abuse and trauma/mental health impacts).

I just don’t know how to deal with these family members who judge my pathway - some of whom make no effort to understand my Peer Support role and how it actually links to criminology/my study. For example, one uncle said to me, “well, that job doesn’t relate to your degree, does it”, and then he didn’t ask any other questions to learn about how it does. I’ve had another uncle who said my pathway is “wishy-washy” and showed no support or encouragement. Today a different uncle basically interrogated me about it all. I found my anxiety increasing so much, and nearly started having a panic attack. Why is it so hard for them to just support me and say a few encouraging words rather than judging!?

Ugh, sorry for how long this is. Just really needed to rant.