I’m literally dying but access to mental health support is so fucking hard in my country since waiting lists are up to 13 months. I called 37 therapists today and only two had a free appointment and one of them said he doesn’t cover insurance patients any longer because he’s overrun.

Alright another reason people will have to deal with when I finally commit suicide. 

I hate this fucking disorder. I feel worse since I was diagnosed with it but left without support.

The only thing I could do is ambulant treatment. Loosing my job, apartment, car and freedom isn’t worth it for me.

I don’t have a family to support me.

Thanks!

I don’t know how I can help myself.. been trying for years. Since I have to get over my ex girlfriend (also BPD but qBPD) who left me in December I’m constantly thinking about suicide.

I think I should go back on benzos and heavy anabolic steroids and just workout until I bleed because that helps with feeling alive.

What should I do? I need support. I’m about to do shit and it’s hard to resist.