Hi, a bit of a rant here from a friend of a bipolar type 1. 


So my buddy was diagnosed Type 1 three years ago after an manic episode ended up in a full blown psychosis. Isolation room for days, straight jacket, the full monty. I supported him and his family as best I could and educated myself a ton. I feel like I know more about his illness than him. We have stayed close friends since, he stayed off alcohol for 2 years, but since he started drinking in the spring he has gone into slow and steady free fall. He left his Gf in the spring, but maintained 50/50 custody of his kids. He set himself up is a questionable living arrangement and bounced around new GFs all summer and was not really working anymore. From an outsiders POV, is his illness taking over or is he just making questionable life choices. Either case, he was creating many stressors in his life and eventually it all caught up to him. He went away for a weekend binge drinking, no medication, big crowds, highly stimulated and skipped sleep; that is every trigger in the book. He came back in a full on manic episode. Fast speaking, racing thoughts, little sleep, huge ideas and plans to become a millionaire, took up guitar and singing, spending, sleeping around. Pretty much every symptom. I found out because his ex told me to check out his facebook live and it took me 5 seconds to realize he was manic. So I go to him and simply offer his my support. But in the end there isn’t much to do besides watch the train wreck. 

So I did at least get him to consult with his doc, he got on anti psychotics, I was nervous he would end up psychotic again, some of the things he was saying reminded me of his hallucinations and delusion for his psychotic break, very worrying. He also agreed to let his GF keep the kids for an extra week, that became 2, so at least the kids didn’t have to see him in that state, but they heard rumors of some of his behaviors. About a week of mania later he had a breakdown during a rec league game, cops and paramedics were called and he agreed to go be hospitalized. 


This is where info gets squirrely and hence my questions. He stayed hospitalized on his own accord for about a week, then he was there for 3 more weeks under doctor recommendation or obligations, I’m not sure which, but he said he was there in order to get a sign off from his doctor in order to show he is apt to care for his kids. He said he got the sign off. The ex during this time asked for full custody of the kids through the courts. Upon leaving the hospital they agreed on partial supervised visiting hours for 1 month and delayed the custody hearing. I am doing the supervised meeting with the kids at my place. Now the lawyers of my buddy and ex want to extend this agreement another month, and then maybe re-institute partial care to the dad. He doesn’t want this, he wants 50/50 custody now that the month is over. His lawyer is suggesting this is the best approach to getting back to 50/50 custody, so he seems to be going along with it. I’m shocked he isn’t asking for his 50/50 custody back right now.  


I was surprised by a lot of this. I didn’t think they could keep him at the hospital that long. I thought he would get his kids back upon leaving the hospital. I do think 1 month to recover without the kids was a good thing. He isn’t back 100% to his old self yet. He has been distant and irritable. He is making new friends and keeping to himself. I think it is easier for him to do that than face the reality he created for himself with his old friends. He wanted more time with his kids this past month but I convinced him to keep to his agreement.

When he told me it would stay this way another month I was surprised. I feel like the lawyers are pushing their opinions on the matter, but I feel like it should a doctor. I don’t know. I think him having 50/50 of his kids is best for him. I think it’s best for the kids too. He has never been violent or put the kids at risk. The ex-obviously wants to protect her kids, mostly from him when he is manic, so she is asking for full custody to manage as she see fit. 


So my questions are; Can a type 1 bipolar care for 4 primary aged school kids as a single parent. I think yes, but not when in a mania. Can he maintain 50/50 custody? 2 months following a manic episode, should he get custody back? Is his lawyer playing games in the name of protecting the kids? My initial reaction is for him to get back to 50/50, I am off base here?

Sorry for the messy rant, maybe it can be helpful for some people on here to see that friends do care and do understand. It is frustrating for us and we feel unable to help. It is rough.


TLDR: can Type 1 bipolar be a single parent and have 50/50 custody?