Rant and help. Slight NSFW
So hello, new member here but I am a 23y/f who lives with a couple and needs some fucking help. Some short back story I was diagnosed with bpd at 15 and didnt have the healthiest of relationships in teenage years. My biggest trait is overwhelming fear of abandonment and so actually making connections with people is really difficult. I met my female roommate at work 3 years ago and she moved in 2 years ago. We bonded over really messy but needed break ups and found each other to be the first healthy relationship we'd had in a while and became close friends. Side not to understand later her ex was more on the physically abusive side and gaslighting with inappropriate comments about her female friends. Anyway when the world shut down last year a guy she'd been talking to moved in with us and we all kinda hung out. As me and the guy got to know each other more she had experienced jealousy which was understandable, her ex fucked her up. As time went on I figured shed get the message, I dont want your man, but it seems that those feelings hadn't gone away. Periodically they fought about it, got bad sometimes and I never really knew what to do about it other than stay out of it. None of my business right? And I never wanted to take sides, everyone's feelings are valid. However now it's a year later since we've all lived together and it seems we will for another year and the feelings are  still there. The guy and I tripped while she was at work and all we did was chill in the living room but when she returned home they fought again and she hasnt talked to me since. I honestly dont know what to do. For unrelated reasons I've been trying to sit down to talk to her for a month but it feels like shes beem avoiding me and I dont know what I did wrong. I feel like this while post could have been avoided if she had just talked to me. Tell me how she feels, if she doesnt want me tripping with him then fucking tell me. Hes my friend at this point so I have no reason not to hang out with him. If anything I do makes you mad, tell me. If you want me to do something like chore ect, tell me. If you no longer wanna be friends and just want to be roommates, fucking tell me! I am not a mind reader and questioning your tone and poster is driving me insane and my anxiety cannot take it anymore. I dont want to lose my friends but I cant force her. I just needed to vent and if anyone had any stories like this it would help. Or any tips for living with a couple or shit just any help in general would be highly appreciated. Thank you for listening.