I've been in a programme that gathers for mentally ill people for a while now. I need to move out of this apartment. For a long time I relied on the programme that they would help me, since they have some apartments that they rent out. Ofc I never got one of these even though I'm on a waiting list for years now. Others that aren't on a list already received one. Anyways, at some point I was like "okay maybe I can do it" so I reached out myself. Took a lot out of me since I'm so scared. This week to my surprise one of them that I reached out, said I could visit...and two days later once again, someone else gets it. I felt secure in this apartment. It would have been good for me. There are so little options for my budget since I'm below the breadline /poverty line. And I also have limitations since I can't use public transport due to my anxiety, so I wanted to stay within this area. Right now I live with my father. He was the one who is still manipulative and putting me down and he used to beat me a lot from when I was a child until a full grown adult. It only stopped recently and im not sure if it won't happen again. So yeah. I needed to get this off my chest. I'm so pissed and sad and angry that the landlord gave it to someone else and my hopes crushed down once again. I was picked by the landlord out of 100 people (he invited 5)