I can’t stop myself from just emotionally spiralling out of control. 
For the first time in a long time, after years of working on myself and doing my best, one person decided I wasn’t worth the effort and I’ve come completely undone. 
I’m furious, so angry my job is at risk because I’m basically frothing, constantly. 
And then without warning I’m in tears, anxious to get home and fantasising about killing myself. 
My home is trashed, I can’t bring myself to eat, or sleep. I know internally that I shouldn’t be having such an intense reaction to this but I feel like someone died. 
They may as well have, really. They’re lost to me. 

I don’t know who to talk to and whenever I try I feel so stupid and helpless. 
Just when I thought I was getting better it turns out I’m just as fucked as I was four years ago.