tonight I'm going to be at work until 10pm. In the meantime my boyfriend, best friend and her girlfriend are going to be hanging out at the apartment drinking and playing games until i get home to celebrate the ball drop. 

here's the thing..my lovely messed up brain is already starting to go crazy insane with thoughts of they don't need you they're having fun without you you're just going to ruin all that fun. And all such fun and it's making me start to get a migraine and feel irritable and anxious and I don't want to ruin another holiday. This happens just about every time there's a hangout and I can't be there right away or even when I am there the whole time..my brain says hey they hate you ruin it for everyone. I don't want this to happen again tonight please guys help me out..what do I do to calm these thoughts and feelings? I obviously know they all love me and want me around but it's just the thoughts I can't push away.