As the title says I’m considering checking myself into a psych ward but want to know if I’m reaching or if I actually do need outside help. I’m diagnosed with bpd and my therapist has been incorporating dbt into our sessions but I’ve noticed nothing has helped. I’m so tired, I just want to be stable again and if going to the psych ward will help then I’m considering it. I can’t even look or hangout with my friends without lashing out. And the worst is that I can’t even meaningly apologize because I still think I’m in the right. I suspect my favorite person wants to leave me and that fills me with anger, I want her dead. Same with my friends who converse with my favorite person, I want them dead. Every time I see someone interact with my favorite person I’m filled with blinding anger, my thoughts are insufferable. Years of therapy and medicine has not been able to end this and I’m scared that I’ll actually pursue these homicidal thoughts. Which is why I’m considering going to a psych ward. 

In short: I’m having homicidal thoughts towards my loved ones and am becoming extremely possessive of my favorite person. Thinking of getting help but do not know if I qualify to pursue said help, need others perspectives! Thanks