Dear Redditors, after having asked my therapist: "Am I narcissistic?" She replied: "No, to be honest, I always considered your personality organization as close to a borderline personality organization. We don't say disorder anymore. It is just that your personality can be considered as a borderline one."

I was very surprised due to the bpd image on TV (don't have much knowdgledge on it) like very needy, very attached, throwing tantrums and screaming and crying and cutting themselves and stuff. I am very sorry for this offensive stigmatization, I don't mean that I am participating in the negative pov of the mainstream, it's just the image I had in mind due to my ignorance.

I am 29, had a very hard adolescence, attempted suicide once. I have a very satisfying academic and professional background, lived in France on my own when I was younger, I am friendly, social, I have good relationships etc. But I am also a binge eater, depressive, can become very socially awkward, extremely messy (my house smells like cat poop), people- pleaser, I have vaginismus and I try to overcome it with hookups with assholes (trying to please strangers in bed while not getting any) etc etc. Ah, plus, I feel super bored sometimes and tend to overgeneralize bad stuff and everyone tells me I have low self-esteem, I am on Prozac and Effexor.

I didn't use to associate with all my unstable habits (binge eating, depression, overwhelming fears of abandonment) with BDP AT ALL. I used to think I was neuro-typical.

So my question is: What does "bordeline organization" mean? Is it any different from the "disorder"? Are there any "kinda-good functioning but somehow messy" folks out there? Please help me understand. Will we ever keep up functioning very good and not feeling on a stability-swing? It has always felt like I was on a slippery ground and it is tiring.

Thanks a lot and sorry for the loooong post!