I just want to know I'm not the only one here. I've struggled with anxiety increasingly for years now, but due to my anxiety (lol) never got a diagnosis until june of this year. Health anxiety is specifically what I struggle with, as well as panic attacks although I have noticed a decrease in my panic attacks since I quit smoking weed/cigarettes. June is also the month that I fell pregnant, though I didn't know this until july. Because I found out I was pregnant, I am currently not on anxiety medication. 

I have had a fairly healthy pregnancy, but had some not so awesome news about my placenta at a private 3d ultrasound at 26 weeks, which left me to make an appointment with my family doctor. Typically I would see his prenatal nurse, but she was off this day so I had to give the news to my family doctor instead. Where i live you're not transferred to an OB until about 34 weeks unless you're a high risk pregnancy, so i asked about an early referral and tried to explain the situation. He basically immediately dismissed me, said that ultrasound techs are not doctors and that it's all probably fine - no need to refer me to an OB despite it only being a couple weeks early. He said if I 'really wanted' he could give me a requisition for another ultrasound. I booked this ultrasound a month and a half ago and am only getting in on wednesday due to covid. He could have sent in an emergency requisition but he didn't consider this emergent. So for a month and a half I've been sitting here waiting to see how bad things really are, and doing kick counts. Thankfully, baby has been fine as far as I'm aware.

One day I came into the house to find the vision in my left eye suddenly go weird. I could see holographic colors and could barely read. I was also dizzy and having trouble concentrating in general. I sat with it for a bit to see if it would pass until I eventually called the nurse hotline to see what I should do, as i really didn't wanna brave the hospital. Unfortunately she told me to go right away to the hospital and go straight to labor and delivery. I got to the hospital where they decided I did not need to go to labor and delivery at all, and I could be treated in emergency. They did an eye test and a blood test and decided I was fine, it was a migraine, and sent me on my merry way. Never checked on status of the baby aside from asking if I still felt movement. The doctor straight up told me my vision was fine as I looked at him through a blurry lens. Thankfully my vision came back later that night.

My next prenatal appt with the nurse, my nurse asks if the doctor mentioned my low iron on my last bloodwork, which he did not. He neglected to tell me about this so I'm on iron supplements now as I am apparently anemic due to my pregnancy. So I was put on prescription iron supplements, only because my nurse actually took the time to check. This could explain my dizziness or loss of vision, or maybe it is just a migraine, who knows. She sent me off for yet another urine test (I've been doing them monthly specifically to rule out UTIs and protein in the urine, common pregnancy protocol) and I went on my way.

I did my urine test january 7th, and on thursday I dont know what possessed me to check my lab results online but I did. I wasn't even feeling particularly anxious about the results, I have went my entire pregnancy without very many issues with my urine aside from one UTI back in september which my nurse treated promptly. I had been having slight rib pain but I just assumed baby was nestled up in my ribs, it's the 3rd trimester and I'm uncomfortable anyways. I've also been peeing way more than usual but again, I'm pregnant and in my 3rd trimester so I didn't exactly think anything of it. Well, turns out my leukocytes went from being a mere 10 last urine test, to 500 this test. Suddenly my rib pain made sense. Typically a UTI isn't a huge deal but in pregnancy it can escalate and if it becomes a kidney infection you run the risk of preterm labor. I wasn't able to get in with my doctor as it was after hours so I was forced to go into emerge once again, where they once again sent me straight to emergency, this time not even asking if I had felt movement with the baby or anything. I did another urine sample, the doctor prescribed me antibiotics and sent me on my way. He didn't even tell me it was a UTI, I had to gather this information on my own before I got there. He just told me my white cells were elevated, handed me the sheet and sent me off. This isn't such a big deal honestly, I just wanted to treat my UTI before I have to hold my bladder for my ultrasound next week, however in this time my doctor has not even called me to tell me about this. Theyve told me on many occasions that if anything is wrong with my blood or urine they would call me to let me know, and apparently didnt think it necessary to call me to treat my UTI. My rib pain has since passed after only 2 days of antibiotics, apparently it had nothing to do with the baby after all.

I'm just frustrated, this is why I've usually avoided going to the doctors to begin with. I feel like even before my anxiety diagnosis I was often brushed off about any concerns I had, and this last time really pissed me off because my doctor just decided to leave that piece of information until my next prenatal appt which is in a week. I've been living in limbo after finding out about my placenta and just waiting around for another confirming ultrasound, and apparently I'm anemic too. I just switched to this doctor this year after being brushed off by my old doctor and now I'm finding myself in the same position again. I'm starting to wonder if even the emergency room doctors are seeing 'anxiety' on my history and looking at a pregnant hormonal young woman and going 'meh, probably fine.' And maybe I am fine, but peace of mind would be nice sometimes too. I have my first appointment with my OB on the 30th and honestly that day can't come soon enough, I am hoping she is at least more careful with my concerns.

I don't know man, I'm just tired.