My girlfriend whom I love and adore with all my life has bpd. She has recently been diagnosed with it but her reactions and feelings make a lot of sense in that light

I am starting to learn up on her condition and trying to see how she might feel or what might trigger her negative emotions but sometimes I feel I might not be understanding her 

I have this tendency to coddle and ask her often how she’s feeling or what’s on her mind and hopefully not in a flippant or casual way cause I really do want to know ya know. 

One thing that really worries me sometimes is that she says that I only love her cause she was nice to me and cared for me and that I’d hate her if she wasn’t which just isn’t true. She tells me that isn’t the actual her and I want to know what’s her thought process behind that I know I can just ask her and I have but she doesn’t like to always be open about this stuff. And I get that cause it’s hard and even more so when it might feel like I’m judging her but I try not to. Imperfectly I admit.

I just want to know what someone living with bpd would like from a partner. Like what could I do for her to comfort her or support her in this. I want to have a long term relationship with her and learning about this is really important to me.