basically i recently realized im extremely toxic. and passive aggressive. because a guy i was dating correctly assessed the "aggressive" part of the passive-aggression as emotional abuse and cut me out of his life and it was a devastating loss. so in an effort to not be passive-aggressive and toxic anymore ive somewhat completely isolated myself. because i feel like my passive aggression comes from basically dealing with people and stuff i dont want to deal with and being passive to their shit, and subjugating my own identity, and taking on theirs, then resenting them and becoming aggressive. so i cut out toxic family members. ive also been making an effort to heed red flags and not deal with strangers who are pushy (for example ive tried to find a roommate via craigslist and the people i met were somewhat pushy/demanding, so i stopped dealing with them). The thing is both of these things made me feel extremely stressed and guilty. The family members thing, I understand why that would make me feel guilty. But it pisses me off that I feel guilty not being passive to complete strangers. Maybe it's also just because I don't really know how to go about anything the right way. I have no idea how to be assertive. Overall i feel like a social failure/incompetent. I've also stopped talking to most of my friends. Because i read into things they say as mean and ive recently turned into a raging psycho. i let people do whatever to me and i dont know how to say no and then i end up blowing up on them when they dont even deserve it. its so stupid. and im done with all that. im hella lonely tho