I have been told my BPD and my PTSD are intertwined. With the start of these episodes, I'm not able to rebound easily. I cry for at least 30 minutes, and then I dissociate for the rest of the day.

This time, I prepared for these things. I let everyone know that I might be distant. I only made a therapy appointment for this week so that I can concentrate on feeling better. I started to journal more. I am in the midst of starting new meds, and they seem to lower my BPD symptoms when I do have an episode.

Right now, I would be crying so hard and wishing things I never want to happen to happen... But with all of the prep I've done, I can actually focus a bit, tell myself that in the moment, my mind is lying to me, etc. 

I feel numb, but that's about it. Maybe a little dissociative at best...? I'm proud.