This week I did something incredible. After failing to succeed in even getting through a single DAY of community college. I completed an entire week of tech school. I had panic attacks every night and morning before and after attending but I still went. This is after years of wasting away in a bedroom. Watching life go by and wallowing in my own self pity and holy cow… I thought everyone in the world sucked. That everyone has second motives and secretly hates me. That I was unbearable and annoying, unlikeable. This whole week all I’ve gotten are compliments from my instructors, compliments from fellow students. It’s insane how for years I stayed locked inside thinking I was a waste of oxygen and the whole world was full of just evil and awful people. Every single person in my class is kind and supportive of me. My instructors are strict but uplifting. It’s so completely different from what I thought the world would be if I ventured out into it again. I fought so hard to give up on this dream I had. And now after years of suicidal thoughts,  several attempts, and a fear and hatred of the world. I’m realizing that the world wasn’t the problem. It was me.