i keep reading this monologue from sarah kane’s play *4.48 psychosis* and it’s just been repeating in my head nonstop recently. i feel myself identifying with it so much. how mental health is always reduced to doctors and more doctors and even more doctors after that. knowing i have to live in a world where all i can have is one doctor after another when it comes to my mental health really kills me. i know this is something i mutually need to fix too, which is why i definitely need a therapist again, but i can’t stop listening to that monologue and hearing myself. i don’t know if anything’s gonna get better. it just sucks