I'm going out to an event later this week, with some friends, and the only thing in my head is "Please don't let there be a shooting"

With everything going on in the world, I get so anxious going out anywhere. 

I just want to be able to enjoy myself and not have to worry about anything like that, but some fuckheads keep ruining that for me.

I'm a naturally protective person so I know that I'll be in constant vigilance and not mindful at all, scanning the area at all times, always tense.  But I also know that when it comes to \*those\* tragic events, things can go chaotic very quickly

Ugh, I wish I wasn't like this...I wish I could just enjoy myself...but at the same time, I think my vigilance and protective nature is a strength, I just wish I could figure out how to manage it so it doesn't make me so nervous to go out or so stressed out.