I always feel like I don’t quite “fit in”. Sure, when I’m out there I’m all jovial and seem happy but deep down I always feel awkward? Sometimes when I’m supposed to leave home I suddenly feel depressed and sick to my stomach? I avoid places and stay home as much as possible. I feel trapped and wanna break free from something But I don’t know what? I feel like I’m being smothered. Feel like I’m drowning. You ever tried running in water? How you put soo much effort in and barely get anywhere? Yeahh, that’s how I feel. I wanna disappear. Like not die but rather just evaporate. Or better yet I wish I can go somewhere and start a new life. New free , beginnings. I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.