I don't know what to do, as some have seen previously me and my wife of 14 years are separated and it fucking destroys me, an now the realization that tomorrow morning is more then possible the last time I see my kids faces light up Christmas morning is putting me so far over the edge I don't know what to do. I can't stand this fucking illness I hate my fucking life I don't want to be here anymore. I need to be strong for them I know but I have nothing left. I want to just sleep and not wake up, it seems like such a grand idea anymore. How the hell am I supposed to continue on until I get back on meds when I don't want to even see tomorrow.