I’m in a poly relationship currently, one i’ve been dating for 4 years the other almost 1. 
We’re typically in a long distance, but right now they’re visiting me. For one it’s the first time and i should be happy right? I want to be happy, but now i feel extremely unsatisfied. I keep thinking about how i /could/ break up with them, and i have dreams about cheating... 
It freaks me out because i’ve based my whole life and future on my relationship, i haven’t really felt like this before. 
I try and be overly rational about everything, and i’m not sure a poly relationship can even work out (for me) in the long run, and a part of me feels like i’m just using it for temporary excitement, though thats not how they feel. 

I’ve been overcritical and emotionless as of late and i think that might be the cause, but i have no idea how to fix it. I’m a bit nervous i might ruin everything before i’m able to get a therapist. I feel like such an awful person lol. 