A lot of my BPD surrounds hate being alone and whenever I'm with someone I like (usually idolize) and a friend I adore hanging out with, I feel complete, I feel whole and so happy that I don't want to leave them. I just want to stay hanging out with them forever. &amp; then once I do leave and end up having to be alone with myself again, I typically crash and feel immensely empty. Does anyone experience this? I feel like it's just lack of self.. but it is unbearable for me to be alone. Even when I'm online playing games with my friends I feel pretty good until they have to get offline then I'm like...... what do I do now. I feel like I can't heal from it or actually ever be content being by myself....