Recently have been going through a really tough time. My grandfather got sick and passed, I broke up with my boyfriend who was really unsupportive during the time he was sick and was constantly fighting with me. My mom was in the hospital due to a manic episode. I was in a really dark place, constant panic attacks, having to call out of work, not being able to eat due to the anxiety. I was barely functioning to be quite honest. I didn’t know what to do myself with time alone (I work unconventional hours), I didn’t know got to make myself feel better. I felt guilty and needy all the time reaching out to friends to vent. I felt like I constantly had to be around people to distract myself  or talk to someone to make the anxiety a little more bearable, otherwise I’d just be in bed crying and unable to do anything to try to help myself. On top of reaching out to friends and family, my therapist, a coworker even, I found  myself calling hotlines still just because being alone I didn’t know what to do with myself. I felt like I was going crazy.

Recently one of my good friends (and roommate) has been kind of hostile towards me. I tried to give her space but it kept getting more uncomfortable. Today I finally asked her if there was anything I did to annoy or upset her. She told me it was a bunch of little things, an example me not being as helpful around the house when we all moved apartments during that time all this was happening but especially me “talking about my problems 24/7”. It made me feel horrible. Now I feel like I’m this completely selfish needy person. I don’t want to be like that at all. I was totally aware and conscious when I would call friends or talk about it, I would hesitate, sometimes I wouldn’t and would try other things because I felt annoying but.. I didn’t know what else to do. Sometimes it was the only way I could get through a moment. As much as I did reach out to people I don’t feel it was as extreme as she made it sound, I especially didn’t talk to her much because I could sense she would always try to change the subject. So much of that time I still felt so alone and was afraid to keep asking for help. 
I don’t know where I’m going with this. I just feel awful. I thought reaching out and talking to people was supposed to be a good thing and she made me feel like a bad person for doing it. I would always always be there for any of my friends if they needed me..... side note but I’m a fucking psych nurse for Gods sake and this is literally what I do for others every day! I know I should have been more helpful and that maybe I subconsciously made excuses due to my mental health state but before all of this started happening it was never an issue. I just hate having this illness. I feel so guilty and like the most selfish person but I haven’t been trying to do anything wrong, I’ve just been struggling. I never wanted to lean on people and now I feel like everyone must think I’m selfish and annoying. I feel like a horrible person but I was never trying to do anything wrong, I would never want people to be upset with me like that. 
Does anyone else relate to this? Any advice?