I don't know how long ago my BPD started to manifest fully. However, I feel like in my younger teens and early childhood I had an identity, and as I got older and my BPD reared its head I lost it.

I used to have so many interests when I was younger, many of which I naturally grew out of as I aged. The only one I've kept is my love for running which I still do to this day. I'm not getting any new interests to replace the ones I lost, though. I try. I try new things and I try meeting new people, but they don't fulfill me in the same way as the things I loved as a late teen did. I just don't care. 

I wonder if anyone else feels the same. I know some people's BPD manifested way earlier for them even if the diagnosis is usually given post eighteen. For me it feels like I was this relatively high functioning person with friends, good grades, a future, and interests. Now I'm hollow, with no friends and in a shitty job but I'm able to hold it down to try and get to my financial goals. The only interest I seem to have is running away from my problems.