i wrote a poem abt that what bpd is like for me- i’m not a very good writer but felt cathartic. thought maybe it could be relatable. 



you always feared being too much
for anyone to hold onto
because of the way emotion eats at your bones
travels through your body like an electric current
only taking one spark before you are up in flames.
you do all the maintenance
spend your days searching for the faulty wire
desperate to rid yourself of the source of the fire
replacing every damaged cord
leaving not a single one cracked or frayed
yet you continue getting burnt.
you begin to wonder if the entire system is defective
if you are wired for self-destruction
doomed to leave every hand that touches your skin charred
to leave every life you manage to build for yourself in ashes
so you douse yourself in kerosene
&amp; set your body alight
because it is better to let the flame consume you quick
than to slowly watch yourself burn