Fucking when, though??? It's been almost 9 years and nothing is changing. I've moved to a different town, started the school I wanted to, changed medications multiple times, talked to a million different professionals, made a few friends, worked out the knots in my familial relationships, and am trying my best to nourish my body and keep it healthy while forcing myself out of the house at least once a week to get fresh air and be social. But nothing works. 

How long do I have to keep feeling like this before I'm allowed to give up? Nothing seems to help remove this gray filter over my life. Food tastes like cardboard, I never feel like doing anything, I never feel satisfied or happy, nothing brings me joy. I'm just walking from day to day on autopilot waiting for the end to come. I'm running out of things to try, meds to swap. I'm losing hope.