I caught my ex using tinder a few days ago, and he asked to break up with me. I was traumatized by my previous relationships and what has happened makes me want to kill myself to end the pain. I asked him if he can change to be loyal and we can break up for other reasons so it will not leave me traumatized, he says he does not want to be loyal. 

I looked up online seeing the stories about people cheat on their girlfriends and their girlfriends killed themselves. Most of the comments are saying the boyfriend should move on because the girl killed herself for having her own problems. Of course she did not only kill herself for the guy's fault. But what the guy did is definitely a large reason of the girl's suicide. 

For example, I was living happily alone and I ditched my ex one time after he said he doesn't want relationship the last year. I only wanted to be friends with him months after when I met him again. But he was so jealous about me seeing other guys and told me he loves me he wants to be with me. I did not want to hurt him. He always knew what I need in a relationship, and although I look happy and normal, I take medicine for depression, and he knew that too. He still chose to play my feelings for his own happiness. He says he regrets to hurt me, but I am pretty sure if it happens again, he would still play my feelings and hurt me for his own happiness, just like I asked him to be loyal as that's something he could do right now, he only just says he does not want to. If I actually kill myself, it would be largely his fault, and of course my other ex who traumatized me. 

If after I recover from my trauma, I was just keeping being single, or I met someone who has a heart, I would never be suicidal. I had traumas and trust issues from my past, it took me a lot to go through the pain and rebuild myself. I let people know that how I am and how detrimental it could be to me if my trust got broken again and tell them do not be with me if they are not sure. However, these people just do not care, they just choose their own happiness. How it is not these people's fault if their girlfriend commit suicide? I would be fine if I broke up for some other normal reasons, just like I ditched him the last year. But things like these would never be fine. I am pretty sure most people will get depression after this even if they did not have mental health issues before.

People are selfish. When they say they care about people who are suicidal, in reality, they would never do anything for them other than just saying. They would only ask for things, but they will never give up any of their happiness for other people to feel better. Like my ex. He asked me to ditch the guys around me, and he uses tinder. I asked him to just try to be loyal, he just says he doesn't want to. And the only thing he does is saying he feel bad, when he does not do anything. The society expect people to not kill themselves, when no one is acting as kind as the suicidal people are. When people kill themselves, others just try to avoid blaming themselves, and saying those who killed themselves have their own problems. How ridiculous is that. I am definitely not good for this society, I would feel so bad to hurt someone's feelings. I would do anything to make others feel better. Truly kind people are just not for this world.