my mood can drastically yo-yo, literally within minutes. for example, i'm listening to an upbeat song and i become really hyper and want to get fucked up either drunk or really high. but my playlist is on shuffle, and a more slow-paced song comes on. i then get really lethargic and depressed, just want to nap and can't be bothered to do anything.

but music is my truest and easiest vice, my best coping mechanism. bpd is truly exhausting