TW: You might find it offensive

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Man. I really can't stand it anymore. There are success stories. You just won't find it on here. Because guess what. No one who isn't depressed doesn't like to hang around depressed people. Therefore they just leave.

I am sick of this "never ending" mindset. This bs is a illness not a god given burden. It is a neurological  neglect, a trauma response etc. you name it.

It is a fucking imbalance. I don't want to belittle peoples pain. Depression is a bitch and is imo one of the worst illnesses you can have. But projecting symptoms on the canvas called life is stupid af.

Life is not meaningless. You lack neurotransmitters to have the capacity on creating you own meaning.

Life isn't boring. You lack neurotransmitters to have the capacity of having fun.

People aren't all bad. You lack neurotransmitters to have the capacity to not think in black and white terms.

5-9 Jobs aren't the worlds doom, The world isn't broken- in fact it never was, there are experiences outside the emotional range of suicidal to meh etc etc. I could give you a ton of examples.

I am not saying that your feelings aren't valid. I am not saying that the given examples can't feel like being true. Life can FEEL meaningless. The world can FEEL broken etc. But it's just that. A feeling. Not the reality.

Let me tell you. I have been suicidal multiple times. I struggle myself. Have been hospalitized, self harmed, alcohol addiction etc. I experienced it all (not death obviously lul). But you know what? I am blessed. I am blessed because I don't have unipolar depression. I am bipolar. 

So I can experience quite the oppisit. (It sounds nice. But it is actuall hell because mania can fucking ruin your life). But due to this disease I realized it is all just a fucking illusion. I can see the world in all its glory and all its despite. I can feel estatic and broken at the same time. 

What is the point of teeling you that? You see the world as it is because you are depressed. Seeing it while being manic is quit the opposit. Bipolar folks might relate.

Sooo. Being manic is the counterplayer to being depressed (oversimplification tho). But what it shows is that the perception of the world is just your fucking brain going haywire!

I am sick of people shouting depressed cath phrases and think it is the truth. Cause guess what. It isn't. 

Don't belittle neurotypicals as people who "can't see the truth". Cause in fact you don't see it.

Take responsibilty for your illness. Try to change. At least aknowledge that your thought's aren't reality.

I am not saying you are weak or any of this bs. It is a life recking illness. But please. Please realize that the things you tell to yourself are not reality. IMO realizing this helped me a lot healing. I still have severe episodes etc. But their impact on my life have become less long term since I realized that all this stuff I tell myself isn't true. It is deluded by fuckin molecules.

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There is truly treating resistant depression. But treating resistant depression is not trying 3 SSRI's and losing hope. I am pretty sure that most people who believe to be treating resistant aren't. But this is my unqualified opinion.

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I have the feeling that a lot of people rob themselfes the opportunity to heal because they don't give themselfs permission to question their thoughts. They accapt it as "the burden given to me". I really believe a lot of people could have a better life if they just realized that.

There are lost cases. I know. I feel deep grief for them. I may come along as unemphatic. But I am sick of that self-pity on this shub. This should be used to give advice on how to overcome depression or share the pain &amp; experiencec. But all I see here is further manifastation of a porblem we all suffer from. No one challanges poeple on here. All are just like "same". Fuck this bs.

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I don't want to guilt trip or w/e. I am not saying I am Jesus and know how to cure this bs. I struggle too. I am not even sure if I can win this fight myself. But damn I am making it hard for depression to win.

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" Could you really improve and be somethin' worth savin'?  
See, I could pretend like I have all the answers  
But none of us do, it's the reason we battle  
Convincing yourself that you don't really matter's  
Like feedin' a cancer and letting it travel  
to every part of you, but what if we did  
The unthinkable and cancel our trips? " - NF-Just like you

Rant over