I know it's not the worst thing but I used weed as a coping mechanism for many years before I knew I had bpd. I was pretty dependent on it, bordering on addiction (feel free to laugh if you want, I'm used to it).

I'm going through a breakup and it's a big thing to me. I gave this person my all, everything I had, only for them to play around with my trust like it was nothing. I still live with this person, until further notice. I'm still fucking in love with this person. I just want it to stop.

I took an edible. I can't smoke. It's 10.00mg thc, which doesn't sound like a lot, but consider the fact that I've had bariatric surgery recently and haven't used thc products for a long ass time, I expect 10.00mg to hit me just fine. It's either this or shrooms, and I'm wise enough to know that if I'm falling towards weed again as a coping mechanism, I am in absolutely no frame of mind to be using shrooms.

Here's to coping. I've done all my healthy coping mechanisms, nothings helped. I guess it's better than self harming like I'd like to do.