I’m so embarrassed. ive struggled my whole life with keeping my room clean and organized even when im not depressed. like it gets really  really really bad and for some reason does not bother me at all. so im out today and my mom texts me saying she went in there and is wondering how I live like that. im feeling so shameful &amp; embarassed that i don’t want to even go back home to face it. i guess i never realize how bad things are until i put myself in someone else’s shoes. i don’t want to be this way &amp; live like that but it feels impossible to change. im so humiliated.