m struggling! Waking up at night anxious thinming about it and having it on my mind all the time.  I'm fantasizing about writing this woman pages and pages and just confronting her about why she made me upset. I tried to wtite how I felt but I just end up writing rage! struggle with drinking and over the past few weeks was good until I had a slip. I was hysterically crying, self harmed and reached out for help. Upon talking to the woman she said she wanted the door open and I never keep doors or windows does open when I talk to people. I'm so paranoid about people hearing what I'm saying .she Insisted wanting the door open and said it was protocol? I  said it wasn't cause I spoke to a different worker the day before and they allowed the door closed and didn't even seem phased. She mentioned a time I was drunk and acknowledged I was in a bad mental place and said I asked to talk and left abruptly saying that she tried to take me somewhere  that she wasn't. and was just taking me to a room to talk  . I must have blacked out and I had no idea what she was talking about . I was pissed off she said that made her more cautious of where she talks to people and that after talking to me it made her acknowledge. She said this was her job and she didn't want to be put in a bad situation and she was new etc . It made me feel like she judged me and automatically feels uncomfortable talking to me and she fears I may put out a fake report about her. And that she wanted the door to be open so that if something like that happens again she has other people to confirm and listen in on what we spoke about? is it me or is this woman absolutely vindictive and not fit to work in this place. I'm not that type of person to try to ruin someones career and she doesn't need to have the door open to talk to me in case she FEARS what? I could lie about the conversation.  
This is plaguing my mind please am i being irrational  i can't stop thinking about how much she has upset me and i feel she needs to know. She's in today and i plan to tell her how she made me feel I'm just waiting for her to arrive !