I just wish it was better than what I am experiencing now, but unfortunately it isn't.   


I'm 25 years old, still living at my narcissistic parents house, and it's so hard to get an apartment out for the cost and the effort of having one, despite working full time for over 5 years now.   
I have to deal with so much of depression and anxiety that taps into my brain and emotions, that it makes it hard to deal with life moving forward.   
I have suicidal thoughts from time to time, because nothing seems to be working right and well really, but I just keep myself moving still and don't give up.   
It makes it so hard for me to talk to people, and I usually can't talk to people really as all I do is small talk and not showing connection or interest into what people are interested about.  
I should get back to college, but I can't due to work bothering it and the stress or anxiety that makes it not really happen.  
My interests in things have declined a lot over the years, especially with what I like doing before. It's hard to get into it anymore that much.  


I don't know where I'm headed to, but really I hope or want something to change for the better soon.