I’m currently living with my children, they are 21 and 22. I have a GAD, Bipolar disorder and PTSD, I’m medicated. But I still struggle. And it absolutely tears me up inside when someone is upset with me. I get all jittery, and want to cut.. it doesn’t matter if they’re angry or just aggravated. It’s especially hard if I don’t understand what I did to anger them.

I feel like my whole life I’ve been seeking approval, validation or simply trying to attain perfection so I can make everyone happy.  I take every little action and dissect it and play it back to see how I could have done better, been better, said less, said more.. and its fkn infuriating. Its nerve racking. Its bad because I even share a room with my 19 and 21 yr old daughters until my youngest and I can move out. So even being sick, I feel bad. Blowing my nose, yep you guessed it, I feel bad. 

I know I’m not alone, but does anyone else have it this bad? Or have any ideas on how I can curb these tendencies before I claw my skin off my bones?