So I went to college for 5 years to get where I am. It was a struggle with a few failed and retaken classes along the way because I often struggled with my BPD.

It did end up paying off, I got my dream job in my industry but ever since I had to take time off last year due to my mental health, things have been different. My workplace always claimed to be accepting of disabilities but ever since I took off short term disability leave, I feel like the negative performance reviews have been flooding in, including a written warning, claiming I didn't follow the proper protocol with booking time off. I can tell they're trying to get rid of me. 

Things seems a bit better up until last week. I had to go to the hospital due to severe abdominal pain and spent 3 days having tests done. Since then ive been back on the radar, they tried to get me again saying I didn't book time off properly (1. I couldn't log the time right away because I was in the hospital and 2. I was trying to follow proper protocol by asking my manager first if it was ok, to which I was penalized for).

 I'm just so exhausted. I don't know how people do this while struggling with bpd. I was managing better for a while but my mind has just plummeted into the dirt again lately. I'm out of sick time and my work made me use my little bit of vacation time for my medical tests so I don't even get the holidays off this year. I just feel like there's no relief from this constant stress. 

How do you guys do it? 

A large part of me just wants to turn my back on my industry and go work somewhere part time but I won't be able to pay the bills. I'm breaking though and I can tell I'm going to crash horribly soon.