I had a very bad episode yesterday.

I’m going through a terrible break up and 
thought I’d ride out to the beach to relax and get my mind right.

I’m out there and I have my ex blocked on everything possible so I think to myself “just release emotions thru mesgs she’ll never get.” 

To my surprise, when you block someone on your phone you have to do it on your iPad too. 

Long story short we began arguing thru text and she says she’s gonna bring the person that’s in love with her to my house while I’m at the beach..an hour plus away...

I have never felt a rage like so. My body went numb, I couldn’t feel my arms, hands, feet or legs. 

I screamed loudly , I cried, I threatened her, I drove fast as I could but I couldn’t beat time. I just had to give up. I was an hour and change away from my home where she was only 15-20mins. 

I held so many evil thoughts in my mind that I wanted to execute each one and not care about the consequences. I really felt out of my mind, out of my body. 

Well that was yesterday &amp; I still feel drained, exhausted and sore right now..all day long I’ve felt as if I was smacked by a bus. 

I never want to be in love like this ever again.