Why does nobody try to talk to me. I feel so rejected by everyone even if I never talked to them. I hate it. All I want is to be loved in a romantic way, it feels like I’m some type of forsaken entity or something. Holding hands? A touch on the shoulder? Anything? This is what feeds into my possessive, impulsive, and jealous nature. If someone even shows the slightest gesture that they might like me I feel the need to cling on and watch everything they do to make sure they don’t leave me. When I was a child my mom didn’t let anyone kiss me. Not even herself or my dad(like on the cheeks and forehead, not the mouth- gross) and I was always afraid of people trying to get close to me or touch me because of it. But of course I wanted affection. Now I don’t know how to receive it or how to show it to other people because I used to think it was such a taboo and gross thing to do. I’m so stiff when people hug me too, but many people hug me often so :-( do I need a sign on my face that says “ Love me, I’m losing my mind “ ? Will that work? I’m not even that ugly. It’s not my fault I have a hard time reaching out to people. It makes me feel so alone when I’m just sitting somewhere and everyone is either talking with friends or on their phone/device. I even try talking to people sometimes but It never leads anywhere. Nobody even tries to be the first person to say something to me. I feel like I’m going crazy. Not even my sister hangs out with me and we’re in the same area. Who am I kidding. Nobody would want to even hang out let alone be with me romantically. I don’t like saying it because it scares me, but sometimes I really just want to die so I don’t have to feel so alone anymore. I don’t want to hurt people because I’m so hard to love, but I want to be loved so much. It’s the only thing I ever wanted. I hate rambling like this. It makes me feel dumb, but this app is the closest thing I have to a good friend. I can say anything and just let it out. I hate having relationship issues.