i’m watching myself float away, and there’s nothing i can do about it. I don’t want anything. I don’t want to have a future because building myself what i want seems so exhausting. I’m in my last year of high school. I did so well last year, was nearly top of my class. Now I’m back to being nothing because I feel nothing. Just a big dark hole, emptiness. I feel so hopeless. All I can do is victimize myself and observe as I completely decompose and lose myself to depression. The only thing that brings me joy and hope is smoking a joint. Literally. All I have to look forward to. I’m pathetic. My inner child hurts.