 analyzing words until new ones appear

my head collapsing with sentences from the people around me

“maybe they don’t hate me as much as i think” I tell myself

&amp;#x200B;

as I soak in each conversation

my head is consumed of thoughts

thoughts overflowing my head as each word leaves my mouth

“they’re laughing at you in their head.”

“they think your ideas are pathetic”

“they don’t really want to be your friend”

&amp;#x200B;

preparing what I'll say

each word, ensuring it won’t make me look dense

forming the sentences inside my head

but will they even make sense?

&amp;#x200B;

as I work up the courage to speak

my mind whispers to me

“you’ll ruin your image”

“they’ll laugh at you.”

&amp;#x200B;

at 15 years old

I contemplate every sentence I say

hoping it doesn’t end in regret

surrounding myself 

with friends

events

rigorous classes

yet it doesn’t fill the thoughts

&amp;#x200B;

do I speak or do I live in regret?

&amp;#x200B;

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