I'm done trying and ready to just isolate myself completely and stop trying to make friends or be in a relationship. 

ETA:

I've only been diagnosed about 9 months ago but over the past month trying to get into a recovery plan as I've managed to alienate basically everyone in my life.

I try to cover up my internal suffering with this overbearing and intense happiness in public - because all i want to do is make friends - but instead it just scares people off. I constantly say things that I think are funny but make others uncomfortable. 

I hate being the girl who "means well" but everyone avoids anyway. I can't wait to get into some serious DBT work and reclaim/recover from all the hurt I've caused others.