Hey everyone, I hope you’re all doing well. I just wanted to vent about how I’ve been feeling recently, and if anyone has any advice on how to move forward.

Lately, it feels like all of my mental health problems are kind of coming to a head. I’m crazy anxious all the time, and little tiny things that probably wouldn’t have mattered months ago, are now sending my brain into crazy spirals (for example, saw a IG reel of a bf doing something super nice for his gf, sent my mind going crazy on how I must be a terrible boyfriend etc etc etc)

I also just feel bleh all the time, like I want to do things but I just can’t. Instead I just lie about and wait until the next day to do the same thing.

And it’s all kind of culminating into one main issue that I’m having.

There are a lot of holidays coming up right now. It’s my girlfriends birthday, our anniversary, thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. and I am just absolutely frozen. I want so bad to find a great gift &amp; things to do for my gf’s birthday &amp; our anniversary, but I just cannot do it. I feel paralyzed. I don’t know what to get her, and it makes me feel terrible. I feel like months ago I would’ve been able to think of something incredible, but my mind is under so much stress lately I can’t thing of anything, I feel like all of my mental energy is just going to my day to day. 

I want to plan something great for our anniversary, it’s a big one. We came up with a little idea, but I feel like it’s not enough for her. I see all these posts about boyfriends doing the most amazing things for their girlfriends, and I just wish I could even think of that stuff. She deserves the world, and I can’t give her that.

And then Christmas is right around the corner too. I want to plan fun things to do, like go see Christmas lights, go do xyz, but same issue.

Lastly, I’ve been feeling so insecure lately. I never feel enough, and I’m constantly worried about things. I’ll give you an example to show how stupid it is.

I’ll be at her place, and we’ll be hanging out. We’ll hop into bed to watch some tv, and naturally she’ll take her clothes off so we can cuddle without any and relax. I’ll feel so insecure, like I’m not enough or something, I honestly don’t even know why. It subsides after a few minutes, and once we are snuggled under the covers, but why do I feel like that to begin with? I LOVE to see my girlfriend naked of course, a small part of me though fills with insecurity &amp; anxiety.

Anyway, that’s my vent. Sorry it was so long, I just needed to talk. Maybe I need to talk to a therapist lol.