meet friend on videogame.  play with them, they do nice things for me and with me, i reciprocate.  then we meet other person that that new friend likes.  that other person is who the new friend starts paying attention to, too.  they do the same things they did with me, with that new person.  i get really bothered and jealous and protective and mad.   the original friend doesnt forget about me, but they also give a lot of attention to that new person, and when that new person stops playing, they stop playing too.   so i feel like that new person is better than me, and im unwanted.  they still ask me to play with them, but i automatically assume they play with that new person when im not there.     


now im irrationally upset and alone and fucking mad at them and myself, but if i say how i feel, it only makes things worse.  im overly loyal to the original friend, i struggle to be close with the new friend, and both of them probably get weirded out by it, so i should just ditch them both for their sakes, even though it hurts me.    


why can't i just suck it up and be friends with both of them.  why do i have to get so clingy? well, its because i dont want the original friend to leave me.  now i realize the same thing happened in high school, in real life, when i was younger.  fucking dumb brain