 Having a BPD moment... writing here so I don’t loose it on my husband. 

Crazy thing is I KNOW this is so stupid!!! But I’m outside on my deck furiously splitting on him for cooking onions. I’m so mad, and my brain is telling me he doesn’t love me or respect me at all for committing his sin against me. Urgh BPD brain... it’s FUCKING ONIONS!! 

So the story is...

I’m trying to apply for a job... I haven’t worked in over a year after a breakdown and only like once a week I feel OK enough to even try to apply for anything. I was feeling good today, so I excitedly told him I would work on my applications, and set myself up on the kitchen table. He then starts chopping up onions, and they fucking STINK. Because I have an ED and food issues, I can sometimes just hate the smell of any food and onions are the worst of the worst to me. So I get frustrated after a minute because I cannot focus at all and tell him I’m forced to go outside because he’s stinking up our tiny apartment... i wasn’t super nice but I didn’t blow up either (yay me)

HE IS SELFISHLY COOKING ONIONS BECASE HE DOENT  CARE ABOUT ME OR MY SUCESS,YUP, THAT IT!

It’s fucking crazy. Do I really want to be the wife who yells at her husband for cooking onions? No. Is my brain telling me to do it? HELL YES. Fuck BPD.