I was always a pretty anxious person, even since childhood, but when I was about 14 I suffered a complete mental breakdown caused by my brother being accused of a sex crime. Seeing how distraught my parents were and how he was freaking out really did a number on me. I don’t exaggerate when I say that it took me almost a year to rebuild my social life basically from the ground up after closing everyone off so I could feel safe and alone.

The effect this has had on my development has been major. I have trouble talking to members of the opposite sex in any capacity because I’m afraid of coming off as creepy or making them uncomfortable in anyway. I internally freak out when people touch me and especially if I accidentally bump into or brush against them. I’m constantly worried that my actions could be misinterpreted in the worst way possible. 

This anxiety has reached a fever pitch since I recently left home and began living on my own. Worst of all I now isolate myself more than ever, only interacting with others at church or work and occasionally talking to my remaining friend back home. 

I can’t get help because of my occupation, plus I feel that this type of anxiety is so specific to me that it would make getting help near impossible. I kind of feel that I need to talk about this though or it’s gonna destroy me from the inside out.