I'm going to try to make this as concise as possible but it might turn out a little long because of the information I think I need to input.

First off, my general belief has been that I've suffered from depression, anxiety, OCD, and executive function issues for many years, different aspects of these probably since early childhood, with the OCD part perhaps being the most nefarious as it has to do with all kinds of obsessions, including thought obsessions. I have felt largely debilitated by these symptoms in particular since around 16 years of age, last year was pretty bad and I felt like I couldn't do anything, couldn't concentrate, couldn't think straight, couldn't stop obsessing, etc.

Now, last week I was started on 25 mgs of Fluvoxamine and I was already pretty anxious and obsessive before starting. Well, as it turns out, last Friday, after taking my third dose (for a total of 25 mgs) I started to feel the worst panic attacks of my life, with a suicidal ideation that was obsessive, and the weekend was a roller coaster ride in which I felt more depressed, anxious, confused, and panicked at different times, sometimes i'd feel more than one of these sensations together at once. I also started losing sleep (I've always been good at sleeping).

Monday morning I went to the emergency room because I couldn't take any longer and that started a four day process during which I have felt my sense of reality keep changing and changing. I spent this Monday in the ER and Tuesday-Thursday afternoon in a psych ward.

I did my best to give a good mental health history and throughout the four days I was given:

ER: - 10 mgs of Prozac / Gabapentin (I don't remember the dosage of the Gabapentin),

Psych Ward: 60 MG in total of Buspirone (15 mgs twice a day)

275 mg in total of Luvox. (they upped my initial 25 mg a day dosage to 50 mgs twice a day)

Since the time I left the Psych Ward yesterday I have felt like my reality keeps changing, overall right now at this moment I feel disconnected and confused, maybe derealization/depersonalization are useful adjectives, and I feel like I'm thinking through a fog, with memory and processing issues.

I've never experienced any hallucinations as far as i'm aware, but I have felt my auditory and visual perception altered as well as feelings of increased risk-taking.

I think the mindset of the psychiatrists was that my OCD and Anxiety sparked everything else because of my fear of starting the first dose of Luvox and that luvox wasnt behind it all.

Now, I really truly believe i've never been as ill as what started last Friday and i'm guessing the Luvox doses are still low enough for me to be able to drop all medication right now, is that true or not? Just imagine if I still feel this way or worst after taking Luvox for a month or a year...

ULTIMATE QUESTION: Can I stop taking all of this now and try to go through any possible withdrawals with my family close to me or do I have to taper down even from what i've taken so far? Right now all i'm feeling is like i'm foggy, more prone to mistakes, and derealization. I have felt better since the derealization really struck harder this morning at 3. (i've slept like 9 hours between today and yesterday i think)