So about a year and a half ago, after years of ineffective treatment and misdiagnoses and 2 SAs, I was prescribed lithium, and it changed my life. I no longer lived with the constant barrage of suicidal thoughts, along with many other BPD symptoms, including crippling loneliness. However, it stopped working after about a year. I was upped to the max dosage and then it worked for a few months more, and now we’re back to as if I’m no longer taking it at all. And I’m reminded harshly of how miserable I was before I took it; how I was barely a shell of a person. I don’t think I can keep living like this, even if there’s times of respite in between. It’s too painful. Therapy hasn’t worked for these severe symptoms, and I’ve read it’s not good for your body to be on mood stabilizers long term either. Really I’m ready to give up. If my doctor tries to prescribe me another antidepressant tomorrow (I’ve been on 5 and they’ve never worked; I also do not have clinical depression) I don’t think I’ll have any hope at all anymore.