I jump around a lot in this post cause I've never told anyone any of this and I'm just letting it out. Apologies for that

I've just turned 17, and I have created little to no valuable memories, like some of the other people that I know have created. I can't remember the last time that I hung out with people outside of a sports related activity that was legitimately fun to me other then one time almost 6 months ago. I just wish that I could make memories and have fun the same way other people do but it's impossible to do that when not even my best friends seem to be genuinely interested in hanging out with me (I know that I am not seen as their best friend, which also sucks). I've just been living out life trying to create valuable memories alone and I can't stand it. I'm on my last year in high school and I haven't been in a relationship, gotten drunk, went to a party, kissed a girl, slept over at a friends house, or just hung out with someone, like talking together on a couch or at 12:00 am at night in a basement, I know it sounds stupid but I would give anything to have something like that. Relationships are something that scare me. I'm not exactly sure why. I've been close to being in one once in my life. We were both interested in each other, and I was still reluctant in wanting something more then just friends, it's as if I sabotaged myself. I couldn't ask her on a date or anything, I let fear take over and the opportunity passed and now I'm forgotten and moved on from. This happened almost a year ago and I still think about it to this day. I know that some girls find me attractive, my friends have told me what others have said, and even had videos of them saying it, and yet none of them approach me. I would've never known this if my friends had not told me. What is so wrong about my personality that drives them away? Why am I always so fucking nervous about talking to people I am not really close with and not be able to hold a conversation for more then 30 seconds. I'm going to try and force myself to be invited this year to literally anything, my last year in high school needs to more then just coming home after school, watching videos, do my homework, and then go to the gym. Also, my friends say that they will invite me to go with them, or say that were going to, but they never have. I don't know, I just always seem forgotten. Maybe its because everyone thinks I don't want to go because I've never been, but its cause I've never been invited!! I feel like sometimes people get annoyed with presence, or ill be having a conversation with someone and then a wave of thoughts come by saying that this isn't going to leave me more fulfilled in life and then I lose the motivation to keep trying. I just want to be a normal teenager that has had some real fun and had real, priceless moments before I become an adult and lose the opportunity. I'm not sure about all of you, but maybe some of you have seen those videos where they say "how much would you pay to see you and your friends funniest moments?" I feel like my video would much shorter and much more boring then the avg person. My friends always make fun of me for not having done any of the things mentioned above and I laugh with them to make it seem like I don't care, but deep down it hurts because it's just a reminder of everything I haven't done and how much time has been wasted of my best years of life. Anyways, sorry for the run on sentences, grammatical errors and all that, but I wrote down everything I could think of without stopping. If anyone is going through something similar or has any advice, please let me know.