At age 25 (male) I can’t find anything I remotely enjoy.

Quick backstory: I went to a mental hospital earlier this year in June and haven’t been the same since. I was on Zoloft for 2 years and thought it was safe to go cold-turkey off it. We’ll it resulted in a manic/psychosis episode. I was feeling great before, but found out getting off medication too quickly can relapse depression. I thought I would get over this quickly after getting back on the same medication, but it didn’t work anymore. So I’m trying another hoping it will work.  

Anyways, I currently have such a negative view on life. I used to enjoy video games, don’t anymore. I used to go out occasionally with people to be social, don’t even care anymore. I’m alone, and tell myself I don’t need anyone. I’ve been told I’m attractive my whole life, but find myself looking in the mirror thinking the opposite. Im still trying to figure out what to do for a living, then find one the thing that seems difficult about it and give up looking (Also ADHD.) Now I just sit here in bed hoping one day I’ll feel happy again. My biggest fear is that I stay working the same job that I can’t stand the rest of my life. 

Normal people find enjoyment in lots of things. It seems like I can find the negative to anything now and I’m just stuck in an empty void. I usually just don’t talk anymore because conversation to me is just to take up time. I hope this medication works. I hate the fact I have to take a pill to be happy, but it’s all I have. I hope it works. Thanks for reading, I hope no one has to ever feel this pain in their life.