I feel exhausted. Like every fucking day is a constant battle to shut off my own brain bc it's constantly boiling over with things that upset me. I don't want to be awake bc all I can do is think about things that I dont want to think about and I don't want to sleep bc I have constant nightmares that make it so that I cant sleep for more than 3 hours at a time anyway. Drugs and alcohol numb me temporarily, but that's obviously not a sustainable way to deal with this, not to mention being expensive af. How the fuck do you cope with this shit? I'm extremely extroverted but I had to move and now I live in the middle of fucking nowhere and have lost contact with all my freinds. I barely have any motivation to do anything and I feel like trying to "fake it till I make it" might as well be a full time job at this point. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh