i have a tendency to discard people whenever my self-esteem takes a dip

during my low points, i feel undeserving of people's time/attention/energy. i feel as if i've gotta sever ties to protect myself as well as them (as in prevent them from being affected by my misery)

hysterically, i'd delete their numbers, cut them off, and block them on social media without leaving a trace

in a warped way, i'd feel rejuvenated afterwards knowing they dont need to deal with my presence any longer

yeah- occasionally, i'd wish for them to reappear, but i end up figuring their life is better off without me and my toxicity (moodiness, self-loathing, paranoia, etc)