Hello all, having another one of ~those~ days. One thing that I go through that I haven't seen discussed as much here is how much people like me expect of others. 



I am a perfectionist in every sense - I expect the best from myself in my work, relationships, friendships, etc. I am really struggling with the fact that I can't reasonably expect the same from everyone else.



What I mean is this: I have always tried to live by the "treat others as you would expect to be treated" mantra. So, when my friends are sad, I do everything in my power to help. I'm not saying I'm some model of a good person, I'm not. I really REALLY want to be, but my flaws are driving me insane. At the minute, I'm struggling to cope with the fact that a lot of my friends have abandoned me recently (my diagnosis is pretty recent), saying I'm "too much" or "too heavy" for them to deal with. But I don't know how to be better for them. 



Another thing that I'm struggling with just now is that I feel like I care for others a lot more than they care for me. Tonight, my friend said he'd get in touch, because I'm leaving town for a while tomorrow. He hasn't been in touch. Therefore my brain is going into meltdown, like "he's going to abandon me as well", "what have I done this time", etc. 



I don't know how to separate what I'm thinking from what is real. Sorry for the long post. Just venting. Hope you're all staying safe.