Part venting, part seeking advice. I don't know where to go from here. Just over three weeks ago I overdosed on propranolol and ended up in hospital. I have been on sick leave since, and will be for the next two weeks. I eventually have to go back into the laboratory where I work, but at the moment I am avoiding everything to do with it. Avoiding e-mails, avoiding replying to co-workers, and if friends bring up any topic to do with my PhD or the lab I quickly change subjects. I avoid reading up anything to do with my field of work online. It was the pressure from my PhD that pushed me into this corner, and why I took those pills. But I need to go back to finish my PhD, but I can't think about facing everyone there. I used to love doing the work and being in the laboratory, but now I don't even want to think about anything to do with it. How do I push myself to even finish a fucking PhD when I can't even find any motivation to reply to a single e-mail. But the biggest worry for me right now is facing everyone when I come back. What do I say when they ask me where I was? If I say I was sick and they wanted me to elaborate, do I just shrug it off and say that I'm not comfortable with sharing the details?  The thought of coming back and answering all those questions makes me want to puke and scream. In all honesty, I just want to lie stagnant on leave for the next year or so.