Mid 50's live alone, no family or friends and for the last year I've lost all interest in life, nothing is enjoyable anymore and I have no interest or desire or motivation in anything at all, hell cannot even listen to music, read a book or enjoy watching a movie and thus sit in silence all the time I'm forced to be awake

Really feels like I've lived my life and it should have ended a while ago and now just stuck in some hellish limbo

My Landlord who's late 70's, no family, just his GF has just got terminal cancer and needs to sell the house so they can make the most of his last few years left so me dying not only gives him the place to sell asap, but it also saves him paying back the deposit and he gets to sell all my possessions for added cash to help his last few years.

The local council is better off as one less set of housing benefits / council tax rebates to cover.

My only hope of another place due to being on benefits / disabled is via the council but any place I get could also house a couple instead of just a single bloke and me not being about helps everyone else on the council lists

The NHS would no longer have to pay for my monthly meds and my treatment.

The one unfortunate one is that the government would also benefit due to not having to pay my benefits and disability living allowance.

My back has recently started seriously playing up, cannot even stand for very long so cannot see how I'm physically able to move on my own anymore

Also it would mean I no longer have to continue to live in misery, pain and depression all the time I'm awake.

Then add to it all the decent of the UK into the dictatorship with the NHS being destroyed and no guarantee that the welfare state won't be next with their constant demonising of "benefit scroungers" and I'm reliant on both the NHS and the welfare state to survive...and climate crisis with the only response from almost all governments being "increase coal mines, drill for more oil and gas" and let big oil lobby to delay everything possible.... I really don't want to sit around and watch what the world is becoming.

Just wish I could finally find the motivation to do the last few things I need to sort out first so I can kill myself.

Hate myself for being so shallow that I'm posting this in public, I'm not after sympathy just have no-one to tell how I feel.

Just really hope I don't get to see next year