I love them don’t get me wrong, and in fact I’m really happy for them but everytime I see them moving forward in life my heart sinks so so low. I just want to have what they have, I just want to be so perfect and so happy, I want to have the money to live how I want to but instead I’m stuck in bumfuck no where with my family. I feel my jealousy if anything holds me back from actually accomplishing things because I just want their life so bad it hurts. I want to move forward but I don’t feel like I’m doing enough, or ever get the CHANCE to do enough. I want to be happy like them. I want to go to a prestigious school and have friends that get me that LIVE near me. I want to move away so bad but I’m to fucking scared… I’m to scared of people and money and driving and EVERYTHING because its what I’ve been taught and I just. I can’t break it…. I NEED TO LEAVE NOW