I apologize if this is an inappropriate place to post this but I want to get as much input as possible. It would be so helpful to get some feedback from a person with BPD. She is not diagnosed and I do not want her to feel like I am diagnosing her (I know I am not a therapist. My own therapist is the one who recommended I look into BPD after hearing about our relationship). I just want to bring information about BPD to her so that she can visit a trained psychiatrist who can make the final call.


I do not want to cut her out of my life but our relationship is too painful for me to carry on the way we are. I imagine most people on this subreddit accept their diagnosis and are in therapy. Would this letter/strategy encourage you to do some research and go to therapy if you were not? Are there are red flags in this letter that seem threatening? The tone? Word choice? What inspired you to seek help? Friendly advice and constructive critiques will be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for taking the time to educate me.


PS: The book I plan to give her is "The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide: Everything You Need to Know About Living with BPD" (any other suggestions?).






***********************



Mom,



This letter comes from a place of compassion and love. I do not say these things impulsively or lightly. This is not a retaliation for anything that you have done. You are my mother and I love you. 


It hurts me to see your emotions take control of you, exhaust you, and push people away. They almost pushed me away many times. I have made the decision to be here for you and to support you. I will not abandon you. I want to have a loving relationship with you.


I have realized that I can only be there for you if you accept support from me and others. Please take a look at this book. As your daughter, I am only asking you to take a moment and think about where your feelings come from. Does anything in this book describe how you feel? Does anything stand out to you as familiar? 


There is nothing wrong with your emotions. They are not incorrect or inappropriate. There is no shame in seeking help or trying to get in touch with your inner-self. There is nothing wrong with taking a moment to think. This is not intended to make you upset or scare you. I just want you to feel relieved from your anxiety and anger so that you can find peace. Many people have succeeded in overcoming this disorder, even without drugs.


This is important to me and I will not let you live in darkness. I need you to understand that I do not have the energy to do this alone any more. As my mother, I need you to be introspective and open. I need you to read this book with earnest and seek a therapist that is familiar with BPD so they can help make sense of what you’re feeling. Please call me when you are ready to do this. I will be there to support you.


Love,	Tinklas
