Hey all!

This post is half-venting anf half-help post now.

So today I checked in with my therapist if I can go tomorrow to my appointment, as the emergency situation has been called in my country. (I am in through public health insurance, so every not life-saving appoinment is being cancelled)

The previous week she was ill. So here I am, without a therapist for an uncertain time. I really feel like losing it. 
I've already stepped back to self-harm (cutting) 2 weeks ago, which I could resist for 2 years before. I am so ashamed by it. Now I am a mom of a one year old wonderful little boy, and supposed to keep my shit together with my relationship too... But I am falling apart. I feel like my mind wanders back by years, daydreamimg about things that happened 2-4-5 years ago, and I dont like it.
I am trying not to get anxious because of the covid-19, but I know I am just supressing my fear of the future. The days go by normally, but if I catch myself reading one too many news, I feel like that we are im a shitty thriller, and this is not real. 

Anyone in the same situation, do you have any tips? Any online health professionals?