Obligatory, 'Sorry for format, typing on phone,' disclaimer.

As the title says, I'm two shifts into a new job as FoH stuff at a nightclub. 

It just doesn't get easier, or at least that's how it feels.

I hate the loud music. I can hardly hear anyone, and then people have the audacity to get annoyed and frustrated when I can't understand what it is they're saying. Most people who approach me are men who insist on telling me how bored, miserable etc, I look.

Anyways, I feel I can't do anything right. I have ADHD too, and what I suspect might be Asperger's potentially. But I'm female, and getting a diagnosis, especially in the UK, is incredibly difficult. I digress.

I need to pick up more hours to fund the commute there and back, as well as driving lessons, as well as saving up to move out with my sister. But after having so many failed jobs, and having quit just weeks into them, I'm really struggling. I cannot afford private therapy, and the free therapy offered hardly helps, if at all.

I manage to mess up the smallest of things. Thing is, funnily enough, I want to study paramedicine potentially. How can I do that if I cannot handle and hold down mundane jobs? Why can I not do this, if they're so easy?