Prior to the pandemic, I had paid off all my credit card debt ($12,000+) and was working toward saving money.   I'm an independent contractor, and as bipolar 1 the pandemic hit me particularly hard.  

I lost several of the contracts I had, which forced me to run my credit cards back up and blow my savings for rent and bills.  Pretty soon they were all maxed out again and was scraping month-to-month just to pay rent.  I went into extreme isolation which pushed me back into risky behaviors I had let go of.  

Eventually had to start asking my family for help to cover bills, and last month at 37, I had to swallow my pride and move back in with my parents as I attempted to stabilize my income.  Then, I wake up this morning to alerts that Chase had closed my three personal credit cards as well as my business card.  They were all maxed out anyway, but I was hoping that I'd eventually be able to pay them off to boost my credit score after it got totally wrecked.

I'm just so confused at this point and don't know what to do.  My life was moving in such a positive direction prior to the pandemic, and in two years so much has been completely torn apart.  I've been applying for jobs since May and have had 3 interviews.  Someone please tell me they've been here and got out.  I'm just so fucking confused, frustrated, and ready to give up after already pulling myself out of a hole twice.  I can't keep dealing with this shit.