In the last month I had to put both my cats to sleep and I've been completely heartbroken. I wasn't coping at all well last night. I had a friend over and we had a fight. I asked him to leave because my emotions were getting hard to process. He kept pushing and twisting my words and I lost it.

All my grief over took me at once and I just started crying. Like balling my eyes out. I clawed at my face and hit myself. Now I've got a black eye and a cut underneath it and a bruise right in the middle of my forehead and feel really really stupid.

I've not had an episode like this for most of this year. So I'm really dissapointed in myself. 

Yeah I just felt like I had to admit this all to someone to be able to move on.