hello, im 15 and in my highschools band program. for the past three months i have been spending more and more time in the band room practicing. because of that, i have been skipping lunch and breakfast everyday in favor of practice and solely eating a snack and dinner at home. lately ive been getting more depressive episodes, and also have scratched at myself a few times in an act of self harm. now, ive become more quiet and anxious, and practicing everyday has become monotonous and a bother. but at the same time, i feel trapped under it and have the feeling that if i dont, i wont satisfy the people who put me on a high pedestal and expect greatness from me. people have told me im getting bad, but i dont know what i can do about it. i dont trust people to talk about my problems to, but whenever i do, they dont know how to help. band may be the core cause of my problems, but i cant leave because nothing else really interests me like band does. i wish i knew what to do, because if i keep going the way i am, i feel like i will end up in a worse state.