So I went for a walk because I got hella drunk and wanted fresh air before going to bed. I'm completely sober and I'm just walking and this police officer is patrolling around the Starbucks that's down the street from my house. 

I get to Starbucks, it opens in ten minutes (it's 5:20 am). I sit to wait, I start to dissociate heavily as I do and I fucking hallucinate a fucking demonic angel or some shit. It was just a tree that was a few steps from me but for  a few seconds it distorted into a all black figure with folded wings. Ifreak out and jump up, I blink a few times and look away, look back, it's normal. 

At this point the officer is just watching me to make sure I'm not causing trouble but when I jolted upwards I think he took a special interest. 

I decided to say "fuck it" and go home as I dissociated worse. I turned my phone volume up (listening to YouTube ) and start walking home. The officer legit follows me as I walk but doesn't indicate I need to stop. So I don't. At some point I go to cross the street and he stops at the crosswalk I need to cross. My entire damn world is sort of shifting and moving (it does this, gets distorted badly when I dissociate sometimes). 

But I didn't want this guy thinking I was on drugs or something and arrest me since I'm terrified of cops and even him talking to me could cause my anxiety to soar making my hallucinating worse. I sort of glance over while walking past just to see if it's the nice lady cop who stops in my work from time to time

And the dude didn't have a fucking FACE. It was like that episode of Bojack  horseman where everyone is a body with a head but the faces are just GONE. He must have seen my face shift into horror as I pelted past him on the crosswalk, ran to a trashcan, and vomit out everything in my stomach. 

I think he decided I wasn't worth his time and drove off. I'm now shaking violently and I'm a wreck. I need to see a doctor and therapist idk what to do. This has been getting worse and worse. I know Jack about my family history and I'm not sure who to talk too. I don't have insurance and can't afford it right now, I'm currently on anxiety meds and that's it. (Lost my insurance a few months back due to turning 26) 

If anyone has any ideas that'd be amazing! I was told I might have a dissociation disorder called depersonalization disorder but I wanted to see what people thought...what should I do I'm so terrified...