So within the past couple months ive came to the realization that I have to deal with my borderline and bipolar. 

Been out of the dating scene for two years after a string of awful relationships. Me and this girl have talked as friends everyday for 6 months  been dating for 3, and it’s great overall I love her very much. 

With the new relationship ive found myself creeping into old thought patterns and codependency. I’ve never been to a psychiatrist or anything, just been obsessed with personal development since I was 14. It’s hard to deal with because logically she has done nothing to trigger these emotions.

I thought I had these aspects of myself dealt with and released but there’s still more. I find myself worrying about every little change in energy or if she will just get bored and leave me. I feel as if I never do enough when I give my absolute all. It’s very confusing and I struggle on my end to not resent myself.

I can’t afford going to therapy or anything but, I’m just wondering if anybody feels the same or has any advice. I really do love this woman and refuse to let bpd run me, it’s just so hard having the “flip” and spinning thoughts over nothing about someone you know cares about you.