Just a 22yo M who's unable to achieve literally anything. Suffered from this shitty depression stuff (and lots of other health problems) since I can remember but thinking back about it, the feelings back then were way better than what I have now. All I fell now is an empty void deep inside my chest, despair which was never bigger than now and the feeling that my throat is being cut off. Just because I'm apparently not good enough for anything I want to do. I've got so many rejection letters from unis, school, etc. calling me way too qualified or not qualified at all. So where do I fit in? I'm sitting on my ass for three years now, working a shitty retail part time job to not be unemployed and it's destroying me. I have no money, no love life, no future and I'm so embarrassed to talk to my friends or relatives about this. Some say I have all the time in the world, others that I'm doing a big ass mistake not taking any training or the next best job I have zero interesed in. I'm just falling down a bottomless pit and waiting for it all to end.  
Because all I ever wanted to do was to create art and teach others art, but even with a burning passion and a wide range of skills I can't even achieve just a single point with my portfolios.  


So why do I have to endure all of this? Why me? Why do even the ones that havent worked their ass of one day in their life get spots in their dream unis? Why do they get the job they always wanted? Why do I have to suffer? I just want a small shimmer of hope but I can't even get that...