36F. 

My husband left me two years ago for a younger woman. They have a baby together now. I never wanted to have a biological baby because I dropped a baby while babysitting when I was a teenager. The baby was fine, but I was always too scared after that. We did have a foster kid who was a teen. It did not go well. Out of respect for them (I am still in contact with them), I won't go into details.  I am coming ot terms with the fact that motherhood is not in the cards for me. I have pets and I love them.  I invited my sister to live with me and she has been sliding deeper and deeper into alcoholism. She is mean and angry all the time. She doesn't help at home at all.  I just finished grad school and I want to feel proud and relieved and excited. I don't, though.  I have one very good friend that I am extremely grateful for. I have a decent job and I'm about to get a promotion. My life is really not that bad, but I feel so sad. I miss my husband and I miss being a mom. 

I am in therapy. I just wanted to vent because it was weighing a bit heavy this morning. 

Thank you