I only feel happy with my best friend, who takes me for a drive like once a week. I have a gf who doesnt really understand how i feel rn. Hes been with me for 13 years atleast... I feel like i got nothing to do, nothing to attach into, nothing to really  relate to. I cant express myself unless im drunk or something, and that makes me feel bad since im a former addict. I just need more understandment of this subject, i feel very disoriented with society. I just dont know what to say.