So long story short my best friend (then 15, now 36, me 18 now 39) had been in an open relationship with my father and stepmom for the last 21 years in which she ended a few months ago because my father forced her to have sex with him and my stepmom didn't do anything about it. I walked away from the friendship a little over 3 years ago because they lied to her, controlled her, and did what they could to keep up from being friends. They are very toxic and abusive people, they have turned my siblings against me, used me, and my father doesn't care to even act like me and my children exist. This man has done nothing my whole life but lie to me, ignore me, etc. 

She reached out to me lately and wants to rekindle our friendship. Proceeds to tell me that she has needed me and i turned my back on her when she had her surgeries, lost people she loved, etc. It was MY fault because I walked away. She never once reached out, when she was in her accident my sister was told not to bring me to the hospital unless my dad and stepmom weren't there, I spent a few days at their house her and my brother's gf sat on either side of me indirectly insulting me and making nasty comments, she's stood by for 21 years and aided in abusing my siblings and turning them against me. If i said anything negative she told them, talked behind my back, and i was always left out because she was there.

I am much older than most of my siblings so when they were younger and some not even born yet I was an adult and had my own children. It pisses me off that I am getting the blame for things ending. I simply removed myself from a toxic situation and toxic people. My husband passed away in late 2016 seven months later I'm diagnosed with a rare blood cancer, told I'm going to be permanently deaf within five years, I ended up with a massive infection almost died during surgery and then went septic. I spent five months recovering. Where was she? Sure as hell wasnt there for me. I reached out was constantly ignored, they didn't allow her to talk to me. I went through it all alone and still go through it, no family, no friends. My father told me to get over my husbands death and she told me I was too sad for her to deal with.

It pisses me off that I'm made to be the bad guy because I just couldn't deal with the constant drama and bs. I was never mean, cruel, rude, I just simply distanced myself from them all not to mention numerous people in my family and friend groups. Its too much to deal with anymore. I can't thrive in chaos anymore I just can't. My life crumbled, I lost my family, my future, my peace, my health, and no one was there to support me. Even the friends and family i do still have contact with get upset with me because I hide from the world. No one understands I can't do it anymore. I can't let people in especially that have hurt me, used me, neglected, and abused me. I just can't. Why is it so hard for these people to understand and comprehend what I deal with daily just from the BPD let alone everything else i go through. I feel totally and utterly alone.