I’m in the middle of an anxiety attack, my arms are burning and I can barely breathe. I was trying to sleep but I don’t think I can. I can’t sleep anymore until I am exhausted. 
I keep thinking about things that hurt me to the point I can’t sleep and I can’t stay up thinking about these things. 

My ex cheated on me while I slept next to her. Same week we said “I love you” to each other for the first time, but clearly one of us was lying. 
Usually when my thoughts become too much I meditate mindfulness to escape it and sleep, but she taught me mindfulness. Now I don’t want to do it out of spite and out of anger to remember her and the association with her. 
Now I can’t sleep to get away from my thoughts, because I know this would have never happened if I slept. 
I keep thinking of what will happen when I sleep. If I let my self sleep then I’m reliving it. I’m closing my eyes to it. Now I keep imagining exactly how it happened. The position, the moaning, the moving around in the bed, the touching the fluids. All of it and I slept through it. Now I can’t sleep.