I began my job as a telecommunication service technician. I still cannot believe that I got the job (they are willing to teach me everything, because I don‘t have any experience or education in the field).

It all went good &amp; well when I had the theoretical part last week. But the worst of me hit today, bringing back all my depressive thoughts, killing my self esteem &amp; motivation, almost bringing me to experience a mental breakdown in tears in front of my mentor &amp; the customer.

Don‘t get me wrong. The coworkers really respect me for my efforts, everyone treats me nice &amp; I always dreamt of having a job like this (I love learning about technology &amp; CS), but I‘m currently experiencing a HUGE imposter syndrome, because so much information is coming towards me and my brain can only memorize a certain amount of it, while other coworkers know it all.

Apart from that, I always had a fear of looking people in the eye (I feel like a creep if I do it, but I‘m trying my best), after that my already low self esteem overtakes my emotions completely, making it extremely hard to focus on my work.

Sorry if I sound like a bitch, but I have no one to ask for advice on that. 

People don‘t like it when I open up to them, leading me to keep my feelings boiling inside most of the time.