Yesterday we had a big 4th of July party and I didn’t attend, instead I decided to sleep. My cousins apparently wanted me out there but I doubt it. My mom kept on getting on to me because of me wanting to be alone.

After the party she asked me if I was depressed or something. She knows I have a history of suicidal thoughts and depression but she doesn’t know I’m still depressed. She wants to put me on medication but I don’t want to, I can’t go back on that stuff it just sucks.