Even though I've been depressed for as long as I can remember, I was able to stay sane for most of my life because of my friends, but around the end of middle school they all wanted nothing to do with me because I wasn't putting as much effort into pretending to be happy as I used to. I can't deal with living with my Mom anymore and I live in a area where getting an apartment is extremally costly. I've been having no luck with getting a job and I just failed high school. My life is a failure and I feel like giving up. I've been planning my suicide, I bought a rope, found a nearby location where I'm least likely to be found, and I have my suicide note pre-written. If things don't get any better for me in the next year I'm ending it.