I think I genuinely care about people. I don’t actively go out of my way to hurt people; I just go after people that hurt me. I want to get revenge on a guy that hurt me badly. 

Two years ago, I met this guy on vacation. We only hung out for three days, and we both caught feelings for each other. He told mutual friends at the resort about his feelings for me. He begged them not to tell me, but they did. I was super excited, so I asked him about his feelings for me. Turns out, he had a girlfriend the entire time. He never brought her up, and my friends and I figured that maybe he made her up because he was to nervous to admit he liked me. 

After the trip, I requested to follow him on Instagram. I figured that if he didn’t have a girlfriend, he wouldn’t have an issue following me. He declined the request after about two weeks. I was upset because that confirmed in my mind that he was taken, so I blocked his ass. 

They ended up breaking up two months later. Immediately, he started stalking my social media, and he still does to this day. I still like him, but when he was with his girlfriend, my mind went to all sorts of places. I thought of threatening suicide. That if he didn’t admit to his girlfriend and tell her that he cheated on her, I’d kill myself. Or maybe I’d leave notes/tapes 13 reasons why style. Or maybe, I’d kill myself, and years later, when he looks me up, he’d see my obituary. He’d see that I died shortly after the trip, and feel guilty. That guilt would all be worth it. I may be gone from this earth, but my sacrifice will make me a hero and a martyr to society.