I’m really torn because part of me wants to avoid labels altogether, but at the same time I feel like putting a name to what I “have” would give me some sort of direction and I would have concrete things to work on

My T definitely helps me to understand the different pieces and causes of my suffering (which basically all fit into BPD) but I feel like in general I’m just doing my best to be “well” without any sort of instructions and then reporting back to them each week like I’m playing some sort of scavenger hunt

And this has been a thing for a few years 

It’s almost like I’m trying to bake a cake without a recipe or any experience baking a cake whatsoever. I’m just throwing shit together that I think is supposed to go into a cake with no knowledge of what the fuck I’m even doing.  

Idk if I should keep bothering them for a diagnosis, if I should go elsewhere to get one, or if I should just go along with this current route I’m on. 


Sometimes I feel like I’m “getting it” but then I’ll have weeks like this where I just feel so lost and I don’t even know what direction I’m supposed to be heading. And it’s so so scary