TLDR: Tell them about your diagnosis. Its scary as hell. Its the only true way to get someone to want to stay in the relationship. 

Anyone with BPD knows that the best feeling in the world is when they find a new love / obsession and they get those tingly feelings in their stomach and on the back of their neck. And all of our emotions swell up in our chest while copious amounts of oxytocin and dopamine are pouring out our brains like a fountain. Getting us high as high gets. *sigh*

Now if anyone really wants those people to stick around, you HAVE to be upfront about your diagnosis. I know its probably the last thing any of us want to do because the fear of that person rejecting you is terrifying. But I promise this is the best thing that you can do for yourself. And if you truly care for the other person it's the best thing you can do for them as well.

Here is why:

1. Most importantly if you tell this person about your diagnosis and they reject and leave you simply because of that then they were never worth being with in the first place. It would simply be a matter of time before the relationship ended because that person is not capable of being with someone who has BPD. And yes people that are capable do exist. 

2. Save your love interest and your time by disclosing your diagnosis sooner rather than later. If you've known someone for a few months and you know that you are developing feelings for them. (And let's face it if it's been months you're definitely obsessed at this point) then rip that bandaid off and tell them. It does hurt less when you lose someone sooner in the relationship then it would hurt years later.

3. Education will set you free. The more your love interest knows about this illness, the more harmonious the relationship will be. They can even use Reddit to discuss what it's like to be with someone that has BPD. Although we feel like no one ever understands us, knowing more about our illness WILL help them you understand you better.

4. If you don't tell them eventually they will find out that you can be unstable. And without the knowledge of you having borderline, they will likely just leave because they dont know we arent always ourselves. (Again if they cant handle this, they arent worth tearing your heart open for them)

5. Be yourself. This is really hard to do. But we are so different from a lot of people, and if we show our real selves, then when our bad side comes out (and who are you kidding if you think its not gonna happen this time?) Then our good parts can still shine through the dark shit cloud that you know is going to happen, and probably often. 

This advice can go for making friends as well. Which we could all us more of. 

Cheers guys
