Hey - 

Had been dating a guy for a month and half until Monday, when we both mutually decided we weren't feeling it (I asked to talk, he had "something to share," we were in the same space.)

It's not that I find him unattractive, physically or personally. Dating him felt healthy; I kept up my self-care, set boundaries w/myself around impulses and over-talking/analyzing, did not seek needy validation and liked him for him. This is a strong improvement over an LTR I grieved hard for a few months ago. I'm glad to have learned and employed my lessons. It's just that the "closer" he got, I felt latent anxiety and that I didn't want a relationship right now - not that I mistrusted him, but that I mistrusted myself somewhat, mistrusted that I could get closer to him and not lose sight of myself. I distanced and gave off deactivating energy, he's secure and didn't chase after me, and I felt good having gone w/my gut - that I didn't experience any hurt and took the safer route.

He suggested we remain friends, which I freaked out over - while I do not know if I'm in a place to receive it committally, I did enjoy the affection, and had planned to cut him out entirely for awhile to get healthy distance from that.

I do value his company and conversation and would like to have him as a friend. Truthfully, I do think I could handle and would find desirable FWB w/him; noncommittal relations with a man I feel safe around, with the anxiety of potential commitment lifted. Weirdly, I don't know if I could have him around without the affection, at least not now - don't know if I can break that association. 

If he's not open to the former and wants strictly platonic, do you think it's manageable to maintain boundaries/not be triggered/generally feel comfortable and authentic as a friend? What skills do you employ to do that? Might take time away and revisit him as a friend later if I don't find that doable now. 

Thoughts?

