Senior year of high school, my best friend got really angry with me over something I did. I went to a dance with some friends that she didn’t like. She herself wasn’t going, but she hated the idea of me being with these girls. 

She spread rumors about me. I don’t know what the rumors were; all I know is that no one would sit with me at lunch after. I was a total loner. Before, I was well liked; not popular, but I had friends. I was part of my sports teams, clubs, and community service. I was involved in church. 

It’s been three years since then. I don’t have a single friend. During college, it was just harder for me to make friends. Because I had no friends at the end of high school, I wasn’t as used to hanging out with people as before. After a while, I just didn’t want to try anymore. 

The idea of hanging out with people makes me grovel. Not so much the people, but just wasting my precious free time. There was one girl in freshman year of university that always insisted on hanging out, but it turns out that she’s kind of a user. 

The only friend I have is my best friend from high school. The one that spread rumors about me. She lives seven hours away now. But I don’t trust her. She’s not a bad person, just a spoiled brat. 

To be honest, what happened in high school feels like a dream. When no one sat with me at school, it’s like I was just going through the motions, not really living. It still feels like that. All the memories I had before that are vibrant colors, and after, they became really pale pastel colors. I don’t think I’ve woken up from this dream, and I don’t know  if I ever will.