I’ve been off of work for nearly a year, it started out because of Covid related issues but it ended up being extended due to mental illness.  

In that time I’ve been in a Psych Ward, Group Therapy, seen a few different Therapists (finally settled on one a month ago) and I’m no where near better.  

My Psychiatrist is a prick.  He doesn’t listen to me.  I’m on 4 different meds, 2 of which I’ve been on for a year and a half, and the others since Summer of last year, and none of them are working.  I ask for a med change, for help, his advice?  Go back to work, I don’t need to change meds.  

I have made 3 attempts to go back to work and each time I’m sent home due to my mental state.  I have Bipolar 1 disorder, in addition to a bunch of other issues such as PTSD, Generalized Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder and a few other traits of personality disorders, all diagnosed.  His method has not been working.

Add on top of that, I have been asexual 90% of the time, with a combination of my meds and my depression/anxiety, I can’t muster the energy or desire to have sex, and it’s hurting my partner.  

I am switching Psychs on the advice of my Doctor but I have to wait 3 weeks to see him.  I don’t know what to do.  I rarely get moments of peace, I finally felt a few hours of peace tonight until my partner confided in their loneliness because of my asexuality.  

I feel like a mess, better off alone, and no matter what I do, I’ll always be fucked up.  I really just wish I would die already.