I have struggled with deppresion my whole life and idk how to feel about it im going to be on antidepressants for the rest of my life I don't want to depend on medication to be happy there isn't a point if it's artificial happiness they make me happy but I hate it I despise myself for being so weak I want to be truly happy I feel empty at nights like there is nothing there at all like im a empty shell of a human I am lonely at nights I have no one to talk to nothing to do but I can't sleep at nights that would be great if I could just avoid the emptiness but I can't it's always there its in the background of everything I do and im the only one who can see it knowing your not truly happy is a bad feeling I cry sometimes at night cause I realize that im empty but sad it doesn't make sense in it doesn't I am just a worthless person ig