So im 15(m) and i lived with an abusive (mental and sometimes physical) mom for 14 years and i only got to see my dad on weekends. My mom was never home and expected me to do everything while she was gone for up to a week at a time and one day she came home and we didnt even have food when she left for a week so i asked if she bought some while she was out and she flipped out and we got into a big fight and she ended up hitting me and slamming my fingers in her door. I packed the stuff i could fit in my pockets and left to my friends house, while i was packing she called the cops on me for yelling at her. Its been a year of me living at my dads house and i have really bad ptsd from my moms and kinda opened up to him about it.  For insight ive just been really quiet and just going with whatever hes told me to do, so i havnt been myself for the past year and its tolled on me since. Ever since i got to my dads i feel like a burden, hes always gone, hes always mad at me for something i did, i feel like hes ashamed of me. Idk what to do, idky but i miss my mom, i miss my dog at my moms, i miss where i used to live(i lived in the country and moved to the city), i miss my friends and i had to break off my 2 yr relationship during all this. Idk what to do, im just sad and quiet all the time and for the past yr ive been in court with my mom over abuse charges and i let her off and now i think she just took my deal so she wouldnt go to jail. I just feel like im worthless and all i do is cause ppl harm or anger. The only times i have time to myself i just cry the whole time because idk what else to do. Sry for all this i just dont know what to do anymore