Over the last few months one of my closest friends has drifted away from me. She started becoming distant around January and we have slowly spoken less and less. We don’t speak at all now, she won’t respond. We had a friend group but it was just 3 people including me. We got really close last year and spent a lot of time together. She was a bit different from my other friends and I liked her more than I’ve ever liked anyone before. I was so happy when we were together. She said she only loved a few people in life and that I was one of them. I don’t think she was lying, I do think she loved me as much as she was capable of, but I think the love faded. I know she probably doesn’t have a passing thought about me now, but she was pretty much my life. I don’t get out much or have many friends (I lost her and one other friend recently). This isn’t the first time I’ve been left in a friendship it’s been happening since I was a kid. I think I have abandonment issues because a lot of my friends over the years have lost interest in me and just stopped associating with me. To me it seems kind of pathetic to have such severe abandonment issues over something minor that happened when I was a kid. As of now I feel like I won’t be able to allow myself to make friends again because I’m afraid they’ll leave me because somethings wrong with me. I guess I’m not interesting enough. I don’t have anyone to hang out with in real life because my 2 remaining friends (which I don’t feel close to anymore) live far away. I like being alone physically but I like to know that there’s someone I have to speak to everyday. I usually don’t talk to anyone anymore, I went from talking to around 4 people a day to none. It’s my birthday today and I’m an adult now but I feel like there’s no hope in trusting anyone in the future, I think this was my final straw as pathetic as that sounds. This is probably the lowest I’ve been in years and I feel like no one likes me. Just like when I was a young girl and got picked on and made fun of for some reason I wasn’t aware of. Anyway, I keep getting reminded of her from songs and old pictures, it makes me sad. I feel like I’m going through a breakup (I’ve never been in a relationship). I don’t know what to do or how I’m going to make friends from this point forward or reconnect with her, if I ever do.