I feel no matter where I go, whether online or in the real world, people despise me. I get verbally spat on and disrespected in person by strangers with no provocation. I feel like a monster. I feel so worthless, like I'm less than garbage because at one point garbage was something useful. I have no idea why I am so unilaterally despised by *everyone* I meet. I'm on the verge of tears nearly every day I interact with someone and now all I have are negative thoughts.