Hi all, I've been struggling with mental health issues my whole life and only recently made the connection that I have this disorder, as well as major depression and anxiety/agoraphobia. One of the ways I have been coping for years is marijuana. I've never seen this as a good thing in the long term, but it has really seemed like a necessity in the short term. I've tried to quit at various points, sometimes been forced to quit by hospitalization or being relocated to a place where I can't have it, and those periods have been particularly unstable and dangerous times for me. These days I mostly smoke less than a gram a day and mostly at night, except for my worst days when I'm compulsively calling people in my life when they're at work or obsessing over the fact that I should kill myself because I have no job/life/friends.

At the same time that it's been useful, I recognize that it's mostly been useful as a crutch, and that my life hasn't really gone anywhere since I started self-medicating. I live in Massachusetts and grew my own supply a while back so money &amp; legality isn't an issue, but I hate feeling dependent on something that is definitely making me lazier, more anxious, and more disconnected/disassociated.

Over the past 2 years I've had the general intention to quit which has sometimes solidified into actual efforts and plans but they have gone nowhere or landed me in the hospital. I've browsed communities like /r/leaves, read about addiction &amp; BPD, and tried to learn coping skills to deal with the most severe moments. But I'm still using it on a daily basis, and I feel like I'm trapped. I'm also surrounded by it and can't change that as my only supports use it medicinally &amp; want me to continue using it to avoid dealing with an out-of-control BPD person. Often I wake up in the morning and think, "I'm just going to skip the weed today," and then by 7pm that idea seems completely insane to me and by that point I have no willpower or even desire not to smoke.

So I guess I'm just looking for general advice from people who have struggled to quit smoking weed (or any other substance) and what finally made the difference for you. Especially in terms of habits/skills because insights and life-changing experiences come and go but don't seem to "stick" with me in the long term.