Im 18 and havent hung with anyone since 2014. I can get along with most people easily but the moment i get a little close, i push them away. Some classmate friends i made asked me to hang out over the summer but i made up an excuse instantly and i dont know why. Even last week i got invited to a few graduation parties but i turned them all down for no reason at all.  Its like i cant control me sabotoging myself. Even little things like lunch, ive hid in the library or bathroom the past 3 years despite having people to initially sit with. As a result ive lost all my friends and aquaintences and dont know how to form real friendships with others. Im completley lost and dont know what to do. I want to be accepted and hang out with others but its like a wall i cant stop running through