if you are in a bad mental state or if you are sensitive to hopelessness please do not read. Stay happy buddy:)

Will it ever get better? Seriously, I feel like I'm trying and have tried so hard for so long. I have been in and out of therapy since before I hit puberty and I have been told different things in all of them.I attend school online because of anxiety and I can/ don't hardly do school work I believe it's because of my depression (and/or a potential Neurodivergent disorder) my parents are disappointed and frustrated and I don't know what to do?At this point the therapy hasn't help and a couple weeks ago the bill for my intensive outpatient came and my dad told me the price.it was not to hurt my feelings but I couldn't help but feel bad.I said it would have been cheaper just to die.he scoffed and said not to say that but I still believe it. I have tried to have friends but none of them seem to reciprocate the thing I like or want to do.  I'm seventeen turning eighteen and I'm hopeless.Please help me reddit you're my only hope.


Ps. it doesn't help that if I have a particularly bad episode on my period whomever I'm talking to will act as if they solved the problem like "it will be better when your period is over" is supposed to do something for me now.