im realizing i might have adhd and it's really heavy news but at the same time i can't tell if it's legit or not. on one hand, the shit i'm seeing on that subreddit is shit that sounds so normal to me i'm doubting if those posts are even adhd related. but on the other, i have no frame of reference to know what is and isn't normal.

the only key thing i know is that i think a LOT unless i'm "distracted". and i air quote it because a distraction can be literally anything, i could be watching a YT video or working on a project, whatever it is. however, when i do think it's about my life and things that actually affect me, that's like 80% of the time. another 15 are creative ideas, and those are the ones that are usually spontaneous. the last 5% is the stupid shit that seemingly plagues most people with adhd. it is not possible for me to be doing absolutely nothing and not think to fill that void of nothingness. i just can't. only times i have are if i'm feeling hella anxious, then i just kinda sit there.

lastly, i CAN focus on something. but in the last year or so it's felt like i can only focus just enough to get it done efficiently. i feel like there's a fog in my brain and whatever task i'm trying to complete is proportionate to the amount of clarity i get inside.