It’s been 2 months since the love of my life left me and I haven’t made any progress, I miss being able to get anxious and excited to see her, I miss making her laugh and smile, i miss her seeing her beautiful self, I miss hearing her voice, I miss the happiness and love she would bring me, I miss hearing her say she loves me and I miss telling her that I love her, but now I’m stuck in hell, I’ve suffered constant torment for my mistakes and failures, the times she’s gotten angry and cried, the fights we had, the times my stupid selfishness got the better of me, the times I’ve failed her, I’ve suffered constant loneliness and isolation of not having her by my side, I’ve suffered constant fear that she won’t come back, that she doesn’t miss me, that I won’t be able to win her back, that I wasn’t good enough, and that I won’t be able to be happy again, the anxiety that time and options are running out, I’ve tried so hard to be happy these past 2 months, but it just felt like false happiness, because deep down I wasn’t happy, I was tormented and suffering, I try my best to not drag down my friends and ruin the fun they try to have while trying to help me, they can all tell due to the lack of energy I have, the low effort I put whenever we do something, and the forced smiles I make, it just sucks, and I just want to be happy again, I just hope she comes back