Hey. I'd love to become a better person. Lately I've had quite many situations with people where I simply lost them. Friends got angry at me, some coworkers don't like me, a guy I've been dating left (I left because I couldn't stand his personality but I miss him and can't take it all back because the things we said were terrible and there's no love left on either side). It all started when I found a new job (finally) and started taking care of myself. I never had proper boundaries and I've been too easy going my whole life so I couldn't find a good job or look good, so when I tried to have better self esteem I just became a bit of a cynical asshole. Putting myself out there and forcing myself to be extroverted worked, I met a lot of people, made new friends and everything but somehow I think I became like ... Psychopathic? I started drinking, everything around me became a mess and I started spending a lot and I don't even know how. Like I have many quarrels and I don't feel sorry... And Im terrible at my personal responsibilities like bills or meeting family. I don't know I just suck at life but differently. I feel like I really need help but I can't figure out what kind of help. Also therapy would be too expensive for me right now because I really need to put the money together to fix the damage I've done with my life.