Literally I’m so happy for like an hour or two then one of my colleagues will say something to me and I’ll want to just start crying. It takes so much of my energy just not to cry sometimes. I’m bouncing off the walls sometimes when I’ll spend a grand on alcohol, weed and random shit I don’t want. I have 0 life savings I want to fucking die. My psychiatrist diagnosed me with BPD but I’m sure it’s bipolar I just don’t want to be like this, why can’t I just be a sane fucking human being without being paranoid every 5 minutes.