Well atleast doesn't think of me as a normal friend anymore.

She used to come to me all the time about her issues and she even told me shes doing better and I believe her. But she used to come to me about normal teenage girl complaints too. It just feels like shes pulled away. 

And honestly I'm not hurt like in an offended way. If she doesn't trust me anymore, its okay. I mean Tbh i think if she doesn't trust me, she has good reason. Whether it be she wants to keep things private or its a problem with me. I think I've become a more trust worthy person throughout the years but I can't change peoples past experiences with me. 

I guess my only concern is that she might want to move on from being friends with me which I know I will have to accept.

The reason that I feel this way is because eariler today she said "i would bring this to anyone else but.." first time she complained to me in a long time. I was happy she came to me but sad that she said that.

Its been a few years but at the beginning of our friendship I was really against the "clinginess". She wanted to get closer but i was so scared of that, that i turned on her. I accused her of attention seeking and after that it took her awhile to start talking about her feelings again. (she honestly wasn't even clingy)

I apologised to her multiple times, told her it had nothing to do with her and she did nothing wrong but I don't know if she ever fully believed that. I'd be really sad if what I said came back to bite her again.

Thats not the worst thing I've said or done so I wouldn't blame anyone at this point for leaving me. Maybe its time I start fresh with ppl i havent hurt and will try my best to never hurt. 

She's one of the ppl i feel sorry to most. She stuck by me at my worst and I was never as a good of a friend to her as she was to me. And I realised that too late. She has so much empathy and care, she had her moments but shed never intentionally hurt me. She even told me once that she wanted to be a better person FOR ME. ME of all people. Even if she didn't want to admit it, i think she knew how shitty of a friend I was.

I'm gonna keep improving, whether that means i earn her friendship again or she moves on happily without me.