i am 20f. im currently in the works of saving up to move out, ahd im not rebellious or create any reasons why i would be hated by him. he just does.
He will literally be so demeaning, hurtful, abusive, negative, rude and shun me. 
then an hour later he will be kind and try to hug me, passively saying “im sorry” without actually saying sorry. 
sorrys are past me anyways. 
ive been dealing with this behavior my whole life. dont come at me with “do you have somewhere else you can live” “try to see it from his pov” etc. im just venting. i also in no way view people with bpd as bad or toxic. thats just him. and i’d value other people with bpd’s opinions on how i can have a better relationship with him. 
it honestly makes me depressed being around him because he is so negative and mean to me and then feels guilty and then tries to make it up. its just fucking exhausting and gives me anxiety. tips?