I was officially diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder just over 5 months ago now. But i've been experiencing the symptoms since i was 14 (i'm 19 now). I've been dating someone for the past 9 months and I know the relationship is worsening some of my symptoms (abandonment fears, brief episodes of psychopathy, feelings of emptiness). Yet I cannot leave him because I love him and I'm so afraid that no one will love me or be able to tolerate me.

I'm on a waiting list to start DBT but the wait time is over a year and my medication (15mg lexapro a day, 4mg Edronax a day, 25mg seroquel a night) helps reduce some of my anxiety and depression but I'm still having major episodes that end with loud arguements.

I just want to know if anyone else has gone through what i've gone through, what the best courses of action are, and how other people try to regulate their emotions.