This is pretty much a self pity rant, but I don’t really know what to do.

I’m depressed. I have either social anxiety or Asperger’s or both. (I’ve been diagnosed with both, but don’t feel like either) I can barely talk to people, but I don’t have low confidence. I understand social cues, but can’t respond. I sweat so much just being in school that I always have to wear a hoodie. I don’t know if it’s social anxiety because I was able to wear a maid outfit for picture day (long story) pretty easily, but almost pass out from trying to give a girl a letter. I think I have a porn addiction because I masturbate to it almost everyday, but I don’t relate to other addicts. I enjoy being around people, but it’s hard for me. I don’t have any passions or hobbies that excite me. The only thing I want is either a girlfriend or a close best friend to talk too. I feel like I don’t deserve to be depressed because other people have real problems. I’m smart and athletic, but lonely. I’ve lost all empathy a few months ago. I’m not a good person, but I always do the right thing. If karma exist, thoughts count. All I do everyday is get through school with music or reading, then sleep. I’ve tried therapy and it didn’t work. I’ve went to a mental place for a week for cutting myself and it didn’t help. Funny thing is cutting didn’t help at all either. I just wanted to try it. I had cut myself a few day ago to see if it would help this time, but it didn’t. I want to die, but for some reason I can’t. I can’t tell if it’s fear or something else. I’m not scared of dying, but I’m a little scared of failing. I just don’t understand my thoughts at all. 

It’s probably not a good idea to post this, but I just don’t really know what to do.