My SO (24) and I (23) have known each other for about a year now and I have started displaying symptoms of BPD. We’ve had a lot of fights in our relationship and even broke up several times, but he claimed to love me and would always come back to me.
He first started researching the symptoms when I brought it up that I might have the disorder based on my behavior. I didn’t expect him to do that. He had been supportive for a long time, and has tried in many ways to show me he was there for me.

Lately, however, he started growing more distant. He started gaming into the night, not giving me as much attention and started growing irritable everytime I would bring up the problem, even blaming it on my BPD. Everytime I’d mention something that made me unhappy he would say it’s due to my own insecurity and not due to his actions. I feel like my BPD has become the place to lay the blame and throw off responsibility.

I cannot throw away the feeling of gratitude that he has done so much more than any other person in my life has. I’m grateful he researched it and I thought he’d find different ways of communicating with me and supporting me. However, he gets really easily annoyed now and leaves me and avoids me for hours. I sometimes beg him for affection not to feel guilty but he lays the blame on me and says he doesn’t want to talk.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know why he’s more irritable now, and whether it’s related to me or his own personal problems. I thought he’d be more supportive after but I feel like he’s being less and less supportive by the day.