Like I remover being in elementary school and hiding behind a door in the bathroom because I was having such bad intrusive thoughts and I wanted to shout but I couldn’t so I hit myself until it went away. After that I would hit myself whenever I had bad thoughts and I haven’t really stopped. My intrusive thoughts have always been bad but they are getting unbearable and sometimes I can’t stop myself from saying “I want to fucking kill myself” or just “kill myself” and it’s hard to stop myself it’s like I have no control and now my thoughts aren’t in a very good place and I’m having trouble keeping my little outbursts in