I am autistic (Aspergers) and depressed. Also, social anxiety.

Whenever something goes well, I basically have guaranteed backlash incoming. But recently it got even "better". I have finally made steps toward realizing my lifelong dream, creating an amazing video game. I did lot of stuff either by myself or with help of amazing people.

And then it hit again. Can't focus on shit, can't write more code, can't do other stuff. Paint miniatures? nope. Assemble at least? Nope. 

Work - ok, doing well... Oh, I actually got a bonus for good performance! And I was able to buy stuff that's soon to be super scarce because I accidentally stumbled onto it before wide-spread knowledge about re-release...

So of course I get more and more depressed. To point where one small failure led to total motive lockout to say, where I could not do anyhting and just sat in place trying to do anything at all, period. 

I hate this, and seemingly the better stuff goes for me, the worse it all gets. No matter what. I'm supposed to have an game of Kill Team tomorrow (40k miniature based game) and I still didn't finalize adding required bits to my models. Because I just can't. I seem to just lock up and freeze whenever I am to get progress in anything that would bring me joy.

I am medicated, and without current meds I likely wouldn't even be here. (But don't worry about this part, my warped mind formed equation that prevents me from ending stuff)