And my mom being antivax also isn’t helping. I’ve seen convulsion videos that she shows me and it spirals my anxiety out of control. And then these people in the videos mention that they’re not anti vax, and post proof of their doctor visits etc, which in no way helps my anxiety to calm down and simply label it as "fake". Anyone can be that bad side effect or 1% and I have a big side of me that is pro vaccine, knows that people are bullshitting, and knows that I’ll be fine…but the tiny voice that keeps asking "what if?" is loud, delusional, annoying and I can’t let it go. I hate it and just wish it could disappear…My appointment is end of november and I’m trying to calm down until then.