So, I know. It was pretty stupid to read her messages in the first place. I was angry with her because she never tells me how she feels but asks me to do her hw and messes with my head (another story where she said my ex texted her but he didn’t apparently? It was a whole story where at the end her apology was “Sorry I was high” but never told me the truth. Basically, I felt like the only way I could understand how she felt about me was through her messages because she would never tell me. I know that doesn’t justify it and it hurt me more than anything but I also just don’t know what to do with the resentment I hold for her. So basically, when I was upset with her for lying about the whole ex thing, I saw her messages tell my her friends I was having a “bpd episode” and she didn’t know why I was mad. (keep in mind I was pretty just passive aggressive sarcastic but it wasn’t that bad and then afterwards I told her she could just ask me the truth in a really calm way rather than this whole mess- she told me she doesn’t care about me or my drama and that I’m too hypersensitive. Which led me to crying in my room to a friend because I did want to talk about her) . She told her friends that my mom and I both have bpd and that it’s so bad and how I got hospitalized for cutting. (which actually isn’t exactly what happened but she doesn’t know the real story) And she kind of just mocked bpd and I felt like I was validly upset with her but she made it into a bpd episode. :/ and basically she would tell them at least I don’t have bpd and maybe if I cut myself or something. Or at least she’s more “stable” than me. She also said things like how they “weened me off my medicine cause they thought I was better” which I really inaccurate and not true. She also knows absolutely nothing about my medication or therapy but she proceeded to tell this to all her friends. 

Another one of my close friends whose siblings are friends with my sister told me her sister had warned her to stay away from me because my sister told her I wasn’t a very nice person. I tried asking my sister about this in a nice way and she goes “I’m not like you. I don’t talk about my siblings like that to my friends”


I know I shouldn’t have read her messages and it was nosy and none of my business. But how can someone who acts like she cares about mental health, is nice  everyone else be so Uncompassionate about bpd and my experiences with self harm. If I ever had gotten mad at her, it was usually because she would make these “jokes” about me that her hurt my feelings and I would get frustrated and she would say I’m sensitive. I just feel hurt but I know at the end of the day, it was my fault for snooping in the first place.