The future is the scariest thing. Atleast to me.
I have many people I love which I simply don't want to see die. I lived with my grandparents and visit them every weekend, but when I do I just stay on my phone and don't talk to them. I live them very dearly and the thought of them dying terrifies me. I want to talk to them but I fail to get the courage to start a cknversation. I just want to go and sit in my grandmas lap and ask her to tell me a story. I want to die before them. Im 15 and don't want to grow up. All the responsibilities of being an adult terrify me. I feel like I'm not ready and never will. I'm never ready for anything. I want to kill myself but the thoughts of my family and the aftermath keep me from it. However I think it's better to just end it as fast as I can so I have less of those thoughts. I'm barely hanging on and I'm not sure how long I'll last.