After saving money for a year finally I went to a psycatrist . We had a long conversation . 
My past was bad . 

Tldr : my girlfreind had blood cancer and she never told me . She passed away , and the day before she passed . we had a long long phone call about our future . And all she said was I will pray .

The next day I had my annual English exam of class 12 and then she and I were supposed to meet at the bus stop . She never arrived that day . Both of us wanted to study med . So yeha ! I got so depressed that I stopped studying then COVID hit me in 2020 . Spent 2 months in hospital  . Then 2021 . Still could not study properly . I met a girl online she was from UK and I told her my past and we became freinds . She was into me alot . And we both started loving . I don't know how that happend . But I started to love her . Then I applied for University of Toronto where she ( the uk girl )  was going . I passed the frist round of the scholarship and I got rejected . Sadly she got rejected too . Then she found a French guy and then her father who was a wealthy businessman . And a kind guy . Somehow funded her studies . She left me and went away . I could not study for my med entrance . Neither I got the scholarship . 

Jan 2022 . I was so depressed I wanted to kill myself . And I was ashamed of myself . But I could not study this year either . Now I want to study . I am on anti depressants . They make me feel good . And I am able to carry out my day properly . 

What I need is : WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO TO GET YOUR LIFE BACK ON TRACK WHILE YOU WERE ON ANTI DEPRESSANTS ! PLEASE TELL ME AND DESCRIBE YOUR ROUTINE AND COMMITMENTS 

I won't be on reddit for long I need to study for next year . But I need answers to fix myself . 

PLEASE HELP . 

PLEASE