I don’t know if I’m going crazy but things seem so bad until I try to reach out for help. I would try to list the things and symptoms I have before an appointment but my brain blanks out the minute the doctor/psychiatrist asks how am I. Then as soon as I leave I remember what I wanted to say. It feels as if my subconscious is preventing me from getting the help I need. 

Same goes for normal interactions as well. My brain is full of thoughts but goes completely blank when I have to say anything.