So it was my friends birthday, and we all got him to do about 4 shots of Absinthe. Half an hour later he's laying on the bathroom floor shaking crying and vomiting. Everyone is trying to help him and comfort him, I try to do too, but I still feel jealous I guess. I feel bad about saying it, but I wouldn't be completely against me being in that situation to get the attention. I like attention but not going for it like in crowds, and I guess getting sick from drinking would fulfill my sort of... Need? I feel sort of evil in a way for thinking this, but its what my brain wants. Am I bad for thinking this way? For wanting to be so fucked up everyone takes care of me?