Soo my FP/SO has slept with quite a number of girls (I’m 90% sure) and I’m so fucking anxious about running into them when we go to places. He told me it’s a problem I have to deal with on my own and he can’t/isn’t going to help me :( Trying to seek reassurance will just piss him off because he hates repeating himself and dealing with all that. 

I’m tempted to tell him not to mention it to me if we do happen to run into them but at the same time, I want to fucking know. He also has a lot of female friends and I just don’t really know how to deal with them hugging and being touchy, albeit in a friendly way. I’m so annoyed at myself for being crazy. 

He’s also really active on social media and I get kinda jealous when he keeps getting notifications on his phone. I’m ALWAYS on the lookout for shitty things so I can mentally prepare myself for disappointment. He’s probably loyal af and I don’t deserve him :( On the other hand, if he does cheat on me or unknowingly does something that would crush me, I’d fucking die ugh. I’m such a terrible person. 

Those who are/have been in similar situations, how do you guys deal with this shit?