I am a senior in high school and I have become more anxious and depressed the closer I’ve gotten to my eventual graduation. I care way too much about how people perceive me so I panic during every conversation and that just makes me more awkward which I panic over again. No matter what happens in a social interaction I walk away hating myself that much more. I don’t know what will happen to me once I have to start the rest of my life. I have no motivation to do anything in my life because of this because I have no hope for my future. I have a small group of friends but that’s only because I became friends with them in middle school while my anxiety was manageable. I haven’t had a legitimate conversation with a girl that is more than general schoolwork questions since probably 6th grade. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to date because even if I get a girlfriend I will just panic over every possible thing in my relationship. I’ve had a job before and I technically still have it and should be going back to it but I haven’t because the thought of talking to my bosses and coworkers again stresses me out so much I just don’t want to do anything. This is why I panic over my future because I can’t live like this. Looking back at what I wrote it seems so silly but in my brain it’s monumental and I don’t know I’m sorry for the big paragraph I’ve never put these thoughts into words before.