I have let exactly two people get close to me over the past five years, and both of these people stopped liking me once they really knew me. 

I can only exist as a fun fantasy in people’s heads.

They might convince themselves that they want me and that we would be perfect together, but they do not care about me once I let my guard down. 

I have to keep the wall up to keep my own sanity. I have to pay my bills and take care of myself. I don’t have time to heal from these rejections. 

I can’t risk another heartbreak.