Hi everyone, I've recently been struggling I guess within myself to find the best way of reassuring a friend that I am there for them. Without going into reasons, I think she is 'quiet' BPD and I am struggling a lot with how to be there for them without engulfing. It has been 15 days since we last spoke. They told me they're feeling very depressed, triggered and have been crying a lot. 

I often reply back but I never know if I'm doing well enough to be a figure of support for them. Like I said, I really don't want to engulf them, so it's not like I keep reaching out every single day or week. But I do feel guilty for not reaching out more... but if I do I feel like I'm going to engulf them! 

It's a pretty cyclical thought and I guess I'm looking for different ways I could approach this or even how others who deal with this would like to be comforted? I know BPD shows up differently in everyone and there isn't a magical blueprint that'll work for everyone, but I am really open to ideas. So thank in advance for reading this :)