As soon as I feel like I’m on a good path, my brain literally cripples me with anxiety about a bunch of subjects. I feel like I’m always making mistakes in all my relationships and always fucking up in some capacity. As soon as I feel like I am doing well, my wife points out all the stupid shit I say or do. Then I feel like I’m back at square one. Even in my job I can reflect and point out many fuck ups. 

I am always constantly surrounded by reminders of my mistakes at home and at work. I feel like I get a bit of confidence to start owning shit and then I get questioned if I’m entering a hypomanic phase. 

The fact of it is I make an above average amount of fuck ups in a day and holy shit I’m exhausted.