Hi there.  Admittedly, I'm a bit of newbie in this sub, and I hope this isn't a frequently asked topic.

I was gonna do a DAE, but every time I'd see one on this sub, I think the same thing almost every time, 

"YES.  THAT APPLIES TO ME 100%!".

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So, I'd want to ask a different kind of question.  Exactly as the title says....

***For those who know what it's like to have an FP - what was that person's reason(s) for meaning so much to you?***

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To be fair... I feel that I *should* give an answer to this, if I'll be asking such a personal question.

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**This is my answer of how &amp; why I believe this individual became my FP.**

 **Of course, you can skip it if you'd like, my writing is far from great.**

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An example of this happened to me some time ago, how one of the last individuals I'd ever want... became my FP.

Some time ago I had a job that was extremely strict, involved hard labor, and was riddled with unchecked abuses that I won't dare to name - I was working for about minimum wage while also attending a school (like a trade-school, for an Associate's).  For years of my life while I lived there, I was entirely alone - without any family, and if I wanted any friends, it'd have to be ones that were there.  What was months of my life on my own gave me enough friends to count on one hand, and the best one of them all.... I met by surprise one night after a few months of living right near each other.  

He was at first a stranger who was angrily depressed after finding out he was being cheated on by his girlfriend, and my heart went out deeply hearing this - especially as I saw him cry right in front of me the night that he learned of this (as I said, despite having just met that day).  To distract him, he asked if I could talk to him, so he could get his mind off his girlfriend - and so I did.  Within that time, I learned that he was the first person I'd meet at this place who shared the same interests as I do in books, films, games, art, and more - that he soon became the best friend that I never thought could possibly exist.  After an hour or so, he laughed, noting that I must've done a good job at distracting him - cause although he hadn't forgotten, he at least started feeling better.  Despite having to wake up at dawn the next day, I only had given myself 2-3 hours of sleep, as I had spent well over 4+ hours talking to him.... maybe because when you have BPD, some people are just worth it.

It feels also, essential to add this too.  He &amp; I received the same education together and we worked together as well.  Now for obvious reasons, I won't get into any  detail about the specifics - other than the fact that the environment we worked in was definitively abusive &amp; abuses of our authority's power had become mutually acceptable behavior.  

So, as we'd work together, we became close friends in no time.  Yet, I'd soon learn that after getting caught passing answers in class that'd led to his expulsion (yeah, let the punishment fit the crime) - his days consisted of more harassment and disrespect than ever before.  I knew what this was like, far too well.  Unlike being able to just sympathize like before, I  knew what that abuse felt like, so... I couldn't help to empathize with what he was going through.  

**In a nutshell**: He was more similarly interested in things with me than any friend I've ever had the chance to meet.  For months, I was away from any home, family - and he was there for me during a time in my life when I was lonely.  Also, I know that I was treated in ways that were grossly inhuman and so was he - looking back, this isn't any exaggeration at all.  As you could imagine, we worked, fulfilled our responsibilities, and were good and respectful members of the community that we were apart of.  Despite this our treatment was easily less than what a human being deserves.  You could say that I initially was sympathetic, but as we both shared almost identical burdens - that sympathy became empathy - and that empathy became love.  It honestly makes perfect sense to me, and it is the #1 reason that I believe he became my FP.

But if it isn't obvious enough - that love was more of a curse than anything.  Having a best friend is a blessing.  But when you'd die for that person *because* you've fallen in love with that person (one with an incompatible sexuality too), then you just have to live with the worst secret that you could possibly hold inside.  And I did exactly that, to the best of my ability.  Until after a while, I failed.  Of course - I never would mention it to him, or anybody at all.  But, I found out from him (and others) that *MY FUCKING FACIAL EXPRESSIONS* actually gave away the feelings of love that I had for him. - So much that it became obvious to those who saw.  I found this out when I talked with him again on our last night together.  He found out about my feelings for him and on that night I found out that he found out - and I'll never forget hearing the most impactful berating of my entire life from that one FP - an explosive condemnation of sheer disgust and repulsion.  To this day, there's nothing in the world that I wouldn't give to just to have that purged from my memory.

I loved him like no other, so I respected his wishes exactly - and that was the last time I ever saw, spoke, &amp; heard him - which'll always be the last memory I'll ever have of him for the rest of my life.

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\~

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So in this case, my question is: 

**What reason(s) do you think made someone in your life become a FP?  How &amp; why did it happen?**  

I'm curious of how similar or different our reason(s) might be.

And I really don't think it'd be that far-fetched to imagine that the logic we'd have behind our reason(s) could be... a relatable commonality amongst us.

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More importantly - I do hope that some of you folks out there have an idea where I'm coming from.... and...

I hope that my words can at least make a little bit of sense to some of you as well.

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Thank you.