When I am with my parents, all I can do is try to fight off intrusive thoughts about how they'll die one day. I can't not look at my parents' features and think about every wrinkle, every bit of slightly saggy skin, and just drown in sorrow. To the point that I hate being alive because I know I will go through this pain, but I'm so scared of dying that I'm stuck in this nonstop nausea of impending doom. To the point that health problem, death, aging, in media freaks me out and sets me off. I know it's unavoidable and I know there's nothing I can do, but I can't do anything but walk around in constant dread and horror.