Last weekend at around 1 AM I went downstairs. Everybody else in the house was asleep. I held the knife in my hand. So many thoughts rushed through my head. I didn’t want anyone finding me like that. After about 15 minutes I put the knife away and went upstairs. I stared blankly while listening to music. I contemplated again about just stabbing myself, being done with everything. I didn’t do it, but recently I’ve gotten very close.