That's basically it. I've been on Lamictal for over a year now, going on two. I cannot say it hasn't helped my depression significantly because it has. I don't feel the horrible ripping black hole in my abdomen anymore and I can get out of bed every morning. I can maintain attendance at my job and stay on top of responsibilites and function as a member of society far better than before. No more massive breakdowns on my bathroom floor. However I feel like I've lost the fun and more happy parts of my personality. I am for more muted now, I feel almost bland. I am on a low dose, 100mg and at 150mg I felt devoid of emotion. I don't know, maybe I'm just correlating my mania to who I am as a person but....that IS a part of me. I miss it, I miss having what feels like an abundance of energy, and surges of excitement and joy and pure unadulterated bliss. I don't experience that anymore.  My emotions feel blunted and it truly feels like I've lost a big part of myself. I feel neutral, annoyed, angry, stressed, and sometimes happy and calm. But the amount of joy I used to feel seems like a distant memory since I went on Lamictal. It keeps the absolute soul crushing depression away but also keeps the feelings of pure freedom and joy out of my reach. Sometimes I want to stop taking it entirely (I wouldn't without the help of my psychiatrist) just so I can feel those highs again, even if it means facing the lows.  I also fear trying to go off it because of those lows....

Can anyone else relate?