so my best friend (who also i think is my fp) lives in another city but came to visit for a week cause them and their parents r moving back. theyve been here since sunday but today was the first time I got to meet them since I've been sick as hell. me wet up with some of my other friends to drink in a park and things were going really well for the first 4-5 hours until we took the bus back to the city centrum, but everyone was talking with eachother except me like i sat completely alone so i felt kinda abandoned and.. yeah alone i guess so i just decided to go on my phone. a couple minutes went by and i hear my friend calling my name and coming to me and being like "come sit with us" or something but in my head I was already convinced none of them cared about me and I felt so alone and left out bc it took so many minutes for them to notice. so I just shook my head and was like "no you dont care anyway" and they were like "wow thats not fair." and just went back to the others. I guess I also felt like this bc there were many other times throughout the night where they focused on the others rather than me and ik that the world doesnt revolve around me ans that they dont only have to talk to me lmao but i was just kinda like.. idk i thought we were best friends? so i think it just built up to this general feeling of not being cared for at all

once we got off the bus I apologized quickly and said that I didnt mean what I said and that I just felt alone. they said I was fine but that they tried to ask me multiple times and that we even got eye contact (however I only remember them asking me once and I dont remember if we got eye contact actually but it must have only been that one time.) I didnt say anything about that though bc I didnt want to start another discussion so I just shut up and just continued apologizing and said that I gotta go home to just make sure I get some rest. I know they said its okay but I still feel terrible and I texted them an apology too on the way home but they havent replied. Just feel like i fucked up really bad. Bc this is the first time ive met them in a while and i manage to fuck it up once again.