I hate this disease. Life is hard enough being a parent to a teenage daughter and then you add being bipolar with psychosis and it’s like you just don’t have a chance to have a normal life…all it took was for one episode to rip our relationship to shreds. Without being sick, I wouldn’t be able to do anything right lol, with being sick I can’t do anything right but because of what I put her through her fears are real and I can’t argue against that. It feels like no matter what I do to change or how many steps forward I take she doesn’t see any progress.

The bottom line is, she doesn’t trust me anymore. She doesn’t trust me to take care of her now or in the future (she feels like we aren’t financially secure, we are), she doesn’t want to live with me and if she could live with her father she would, she doesn’t think I’ll ever be happy or can hold a job (I’ve had 2 in the last year and am trying to find a good fit), she doesn’t think I’m responsible (I don’t go anywhere or do anything). 

She doesn’t trust me and that hurts more than anything. It’ll be 2 years in September since my incident. I can’t blame or fault her at all, she’s totally valid in everything she feels and it sucks. I feel like no matter how good I’m doing I’ll never be doing good enough.