I don’t know if this belongs in here. But I when I’m going through an episode (overwhelming anxiety) I either eat/don’t eat, shop, or withdraw. And it’s always one of those. If I’m not binge eating I’m starving myself until I feel thin the. The cycle starts again. If I’m balanced with my eating I start shopping. Buying things I don’t need or even want. I just see it and I think this might make me feel whole. Or I don’t eat, I don’t shop, I just close in on myself. Obsess over work or obsess over a movie or show. Or just sleep for a long time. Or run for long time. Waste time in anyway possible. 

And you guys aren’t my therapist, so don’t diagnose me.

But does anyone else get scared you’re never going to learn. You’re never going to break the cycle of compensating.  Or have you broken cycle? What does it feel like? 

I feel like I keep failing and im never going to climb out the whole im sinking into.