
It’s funny how we are surrounded and loved by our closest friends and family. They would always say that they will be there no matter what. Just one call away and they’ll be all ears to listen to our life’s drama. But then when you feel yourself getting bad again. When you have these intrusive thoughts. When you cry yourself to sleep every night. When you start going numb. They aren’t really there to help you get out of this deep hole that you’re into. Because the truth is, they have their own lives to live. You can’t drag them down. So you decided to keep it to yourself until you can’t take it anymore and decides to just end this painful life. But you can’t muster up the guts to do it. While your friends and family had no idea that they almost lost you. Here you are trying to think of ways to tell them that you need help, tell them what you almost did. Then you’d feel like you can’t tell them because they would feel bad, they’d feel guilty for neglecting you. So all you get is pity and they would try to make up for it. Now, you’re confused whether they are trying to help out of sincerity or they just trying to make themselves feel better.  That’s why you resorted to pushing them away. This is the only way you know to avoid more pain, neglect, and rejections.