

my therapist said she cant handle me anymore and shes not trained to work with my level of anxiety 

they gave me .25 mg on xanax as a last ditch effort, and still nothing. im starting to think nothing will work on my anxiety. ive tried so many different things and they stop working after a week. xanax, klonopin, vistaril, lexapro yadayada i dont even know what they can give me anymore. 

i was born with such shit genetics and im sad that my parents decided to procreate with the amount of issues they had. they all just passed down to their kids. we are all messed up in all sorts of ways. 

ive developed a new habit of pulling the skin off my lips and biting the wounds. it used to be pulling my hair when i was like 7 or 8 to the point where i had such big bald spots i had to wear wigs. then i would squeeze my skin until it bled because i thought the whiteheads and shit in my skin were bugs, then pulling my eyebrows out and now my lips. 

its all rooted to my anxiety and has been since i was fucking born. i fee like nothing will ever change, and the fear isn't without evidence. years of therapy, now medication changes every few weeks. 

i had to drop out of school because of how bad my anxiety was. i cant get a job for another month or so because they drug test and i smoked a few days ago (not trying to go to jail on top of everything)

im so fucked and i hate how nothings working. also my lip is sore and it feels weird to talk bc of how swollen it is lmao