I've noticed that whenever I'm really, really happy, there always comes a moment where I suddenly get suspicious, like something is about to ruin it. I go through these periods where I'm so happy and so joyful that I feel like I'm going to explode. Right now, for example, everything feels perfect. I'm incredibly happy where I live, I love my job, I love my friends, I'm dedicating myself to my writing, I'm living really well. I feel so happy I want to scream. But the happiness is always accompanied by a fear of what comes next, a fear that I'm about to hit rock bottom again. That happened the last time I was released from the hospital, I was so happy, just like I'm happy now, and then at some point I had this moment of "I'm too happy." And then I ended up texting a former FP something really awful that I regretted, and then self-harming and becoming completely hysterical.

Has anyone else experienced this? How do you just let yourself be happy and simply appreciate that things are okay?