*might contain suicidal &amp; self harm*

  suddenly everything crash into me and make me so stressful &amp; so much depressed again. Well I mean I usually depressed cause My friend don't care about / I don't really have any friend, no one cares me, most of my hard work ended up become failure, No one appreciate me. Then I guess all those feeling I feel everyday just got more bottle up, so some days before is my birthday, the most annoying day 'cause I born w/ shitty life like this, it annoy me so much that I still alive &amp; experience my birthday again, then the day after my birthday , my mom want a divorce ( I'm not sure if it's official divorce / they just gonna life to different place but still in term married ). I'm not sure if the thing that annoy me is the divorce / it's i'm annoyed to both of them. Both of them didn't even try to talk  , they nagging / didn't listen to each other / try to understand each other... what annoying is my mom said she married father because she feel like he was her match.. f... Also this not the first time, they went into big fight because my father play w/ other girl some 8+ yrs ago when I'm still elementary school , I still remember it &amp; my father didn't learn and this stuff happen again. This stuff make me hit bottom rock, I already feel shitty being born yesterday &amp; now the  one who give me life is like this... if only these 2 never married , I might not gonna experience any of this shitty feeling. I'm sure this is a really wrong think, but not my head keep filled up with these more lately like it's better if I never being born / etc. I do have a brother tho but he's about to work &amp; he always busy with himself.... All this stuff make me back cutting again, there's a time again that I want to kill myself before new year....

I remember my counselor said that if I have negative thoughts/ being depressed but I still can do my work it's not big a deal, I really want to said she's wrong tho.. I bet this become way too long.. I'm sorry after all I have no one to talk about it since I have no friend....