Does anyone have techniques or advice on how to moderate splitting? I know that sentence is an oxymoron, since splitting is the polar opposite of moderation.

Here’s the deal: when I split, I avoid people at all costs. I idolize and adore close friends and family, and the second they don’t fit the image of “perfect” or proportionately reciprocate love (at least in my head), I avoid them. Now, this is better than what I used to do, which is to unfairly take out my anger on them. I am at least self-aware enough now to know when I am splitting on someone. Because I don’t want to hurt anyone, I just avoid them all together. 

But the problem is...this also hurts people. If I can, I try to tell the other person that I am currently splitting and I am not able to have a rational discussion at the moment, but that once I’m over it we can talk. But I feel like this gets exhausting for the people closest to me. I’m at a loss if what I’m doing is right, or if there is even a way to fix it. Honestly, sometimes I feel like avoiding people all together so neither of us hurt.