I have untreated BPD. My wife and I try to set boundaries for when I am upset but I do not follow them because I think every argument is our last and I say I want a divorce. She’s told me I can’t do that, only if I truly want one if not do not throw it around because of an argument it makes her feel unstable I totally agree. But what am to do if that’s how I feel, if a gun where to my head I’d say yes I want a divorce when I am having an episode it’s like I am so certain that that’s what I want so I say it. I say there’s no way she’s coming back from hurting me like this. Then days pass and I’m alone and I can’t ignore her anymore and I give in and it’s a cycle. I don’t know how to be independent I’d die if left alone