My husband has a HUGE family. They are all very close and family oriented. I am unfortunately not liked by pretty much most of them. I don't know exactly why, but whatever. My family isn't big and I grew up in a crappy home. My parents would spoil us rotten but never give us the real attention and love we needed. In my eyes, I would have rather been loved then given food or things I didn't need. Anyway, since I am not liked by my in laws this makes things REALLY hard especially with my BPD. Its hard to let go of being rejected and hated for whatever reason they may possibly have. I have seem to be obsessed with constantly hating the fact that I am rejected by so many people. It's painful. My husband doesn't care to hang out with them anymore etc. But I have them on social media and I keep seeing all the fun they have with each other... and it makes me jealous. But EVERY single time I have tried to get close or get on their good side I get nothing but attitude and they definitely make it known they aren't interested and aren't going to change. But my heart wont let go.... I've been going on and on for the last 8 years. But I feel like me being filled with sadness due to being so rejected I feel like I can't live my life to my full potential. Like my life consist of them and what they think. I see my therapist but what she says just doesn't click. Its like I can't stop this. I can't stop this obsession and wanting to have a close bond as they have with everyone else. I have tried but fall right back into it. Then I just get depressed all over again. It's like a roller coaster. I'll be okay and let it go and suddenly it starts all over. Can anyone relate? And maybe give some advice of what I should do? I feel like I am missing out on my own life with my own family ( husband and daughter ) because I am to obsessed with being accepted by family who has already made it clear its not going to happen..