I haven’t been diagnosed with BPD but I’m sure it’s what I have been dealing with for as long as I could remember. I’ve always had social issues and idk where to start . I’m really frustrated rn . I feel really sad . I feel like I will never ever be loved . I can’t make friends. I have a hard time working . I get anxious, happy, angry, depressed and then these thoughts swarm my head . I’m scared and every time I meet someone and they talk to me I get super attached and try to act normal but I can’t because I need them and I want them to like me and be friends with me so I can flourish and live a happy life . I feel like everyone hates me and thinks I’m a bad person. I’m so unattractive, I stutter when I speak , I lose it sometimes then I’m okay , I get real angry and yell at people I care about , I try to eat healthy but it’s hard because I’m trying to make myself happy . I need help or advice . Idk if I’ll be able to afford care because I’ve been to therapy and stuff . I had ADHD as a child and every time I’d try to tell the doctor to take me off the pills and how I felt they never listened . And I’ve been diagnosed with depression and anxiety but therapy didn’t work cause I was afraid if I was honest with my therapist she’d judge me and not want to be my therapist any longer . I feel like I’m slowly losing control and I had the cycle my life’s been going through for the past years . I’m super sad and I’m suffering. I just want friends and a relationship that doesn’t end bad . I want support and to learn how to live and succeed. I’m 21 and I feel like I’ve failed at life . Everyone around me seems to be able to function and I just can’t do it . I need to find out what to do so I can make my mom proud of me . I need help or advice or anything please