So I'm currently stuck in a tricky situation, I've been going to therapy for a couple of months, and my psychologist told me to "open up" and talk to my friends, but I'm terrified of them leaving me if I do.

A little bit of context first, a few months ago I lost the best friendship I've ever had. We were best friends for a couple of years and we supported each other with everything. I (F) had a very rough patch with my boyfriend (we broke up for two months). And my best friend was there for me through everything, during this time we started developing romantic feelings for each other, but things got too complicated to move on. So since I decided that we should remain friends and I got back together with my boyfriend, my friend told me he felt betrayed, that I used him and played with him only to get emotional support while I was sleeping with another guy.

This made me feel like the worst human being on the planet.

I never meant to hurt him or use him in any way, I was also his support during his heartbreaks and all of his problems, so what he said left me really confused. 

Things got worse when I tried to make things better, I tried looking on reddit for answers to this situation, but came across a few posts from guys telling similar stories to mine (but in that case it would've been from my best friend's perspective). Almost every single person on those threads were calling the girl a whore and a manipulator, the even said that "she doesn't deserve any friends". And even if it wasn't directed at me, I felt awful.

So now I'm completely scared to tell anyone (except for a good couple of new friends I found here on reddit) how I feel, I'm terrified of them calling me a manipulator and that I'm just using them. I have major majooor trust issues now, and I can't stop thinking about it. The endless cycle of me trying to reach out and then stopping myself because I'm scared, has my anxiety through the roof, I think is the worst it's ever been and I don't know how to stop it.