The past few years have been rough, to say the least. Getting evicted, losing my dream job, getting arrested, getting drugged at a bar, losing my car to a traumatic car crash, and then some. Everyone around me keeps saying it'll get better (I can't even tell you how much that statement irks me) and to just get help. I've tried reaching out places before and it's always a several-month wait until I can be seen or I'm sitting on hold for 30 minutes before I give up. The thoughts in my head have gotten significantly worse over the past few months. I started picking up old habits again to try and cope and I will say in the moment they do indeed help but they aren't healthy whats-so-ever. I feel like I'm starting to go insane. I thought about an inpatient place but I can't take that kind of time off work but I guess it's not like I am actually going anyway and when I am there it's not actually productive. I'm just done fighting to get out of bed and being told to just get help like I can just snap my fingers and it everything will be okay and I will actually be able to get it.