This is my first post ever on Reddit. I’ve always been a lurker, but this time I really need some advice, support, anything that can help. I have GAD with panic attacks for reference if it helps. It’s a long one, so I apologize! I will put a tldr at the end to cut to the chase. 

I (25f) met my boyfriend (27m) last summer on an online game. We both had an interest in each other from the start, but I was already “talking” to someone else and I can only “talk” to one person at a time. Not sure if that’s an anxiety thing or what, but I feel guilty. So I didn’t pursue anything other than friendship at the time with my now boyfriend. We went through a period of two months or so where I pushed him away entirely because a “mutual friend”, we’re no longer friends with him, was trying to push us apart and succeeded. Fast forward a few more months to end of January/beginning of February and we start talking again. I realized I really missed him, even as a friend. We reconnected and I realized what I really felt towards him. So I told him I wanted to talk more and that I do really like him. He was surprised and happy. So we started talking and things were going really well! We live in different states, so I started sending him certain kind of pictures of myself (becomes important later). Fast forward some more and he flew here to visit end of February and has been here since! No idea when/if he’s leaving since things are going really well. He tells me he loves me so much, he’s had the biggest crush on me since we met online, and all that good lovey stuff. Now what’s the problem? Welllll.... Yesterday I went to log him out of Discord on my PC and my anxious brain decided to take a peak at who he direct messages. Everything was good until I found messages from February 13th and before when he was clearly having romantic feelings/flirting with some other girl. We weren’t official yet, but that was still after I sent him those pictures. After he said so many sweet things to me, but before he came here. It looks like on the 13th he ended things with a phone call. They haven’t talked since. I’ve asked him before (when he was physically here) if he was talking to anyone else and he told me no twice. So he lied to me. I trust him, and still do despite knowing he lied. He’s always been truthful about anything else even if it hurt me. So it stung to read that. I later sort of brought it up without coming right out and he avoided answering and instead went with “IF I was talking to someone else” and saying he didn’t know until the day before Valentine’s Day that I loved him, he didn’t know until then what I was really like, I guess he had a different image of me until then, and he didn’t know he wanted to come see me until then. There’s no reason for me to not trust him now and I want to move past this because I’ve never felt so sure about someone before , let alone trust anyone. So I don’t know what to do from here. With my GAD it’s all I’ve been thinking about. It’s making me question what he says to me in that moment, even though I do believe he loves me. Any advice?! 

TLDR; I went snooping, found out my boyfriend has been lying to me about talking to other girls while we were talking before dating and now I’m struggling to move past the lie.