I don't want to show affection to people. I don't want to love others and I don't want them to love me. I don't care about anything in life. I feel absolutely nothing positive from other's words and verbal communication. I do not laugh. 

My family, my friends, my coworkers talking to me...I just wish they would understand that I have no interest in conversation. I have nothing to say and I don't care what other people have to say either. I don't respect myself, and by the same token it actually hurts me inside to try to actually respect another person, or ANYTHING for that matter. 

I wish people weren't so sensitive. Why do you have to hate me just because I am not capable of showing kindness or friendliness or happiness to others. Why can't people be neutral about it like me. Nothing matters. I don't understand where people's passion comes from. Passion feels naive. 

I hate sentimentality. I have no values and I don't want to have values. I don't understand why anything matters to anyone. I'm at the point where I legitimately don't understand. I don't understand people at all. 

I don't understand how people can feel happy or positive about anything. Happiness and positivity feel disgusting to me. They feel invasive. They feel wrong. I don't understand. I don't understand how people can just be emotionally expressive and do it right, unlike me. There is no humor in anything. 

I'm too awkward to talk with now. I just don't feel any positive emotions when I look into another person's eyes. I want them to stop looking at me. I want them to disappear. I want to go to bed tonight and have my final rest.