Examples of how my jealousy affects my relationship:

* When walking past any girl my heart beat rises significantly over the possibility that he is thinking other women are pretty
* When he has to go into work, the possibility that he is communicating with female workers
* Retroactive jealousy - obsessively stalking his ex's 
* strict boundaries with things like porn and socialising with the opposite sex

I need advice on how to cope with this. I understand it comes from abandonment trauma, low self-esteem and BDD. I need help because it is ruining my chance at a healthy relationship with a man I love dearly. How do you cope with jealousy in relationships?