So I have a FP, only I’m not sure if its an unhealthy BPD FP, or just what it is to have a best friend.

I really enjoy talking about her, and I have I’d say *kind of* a crush but I really like her more as a friend and don’t think I’d date her just cause when relationships end they rarely end well. Like it’s 80-90% platonic and then 10-20% crush or whatever. 

I enjoy talking to her and wish I could do it every day, only she also enjoys talking to me and we’ll often talk for hours into the night so its not a one sided friendship.

The main thing that makes me worried is that I think about her quite often when we aren’t talking. I don’t know if it’s just in a “we talked for hours and that makes me happy which is why I’m thinking about it”, vs “I am clinging to an attractive female who enjoys talking to me.” Especially at a time when I don’t really have much going in terms of things that fill my day. 

Now I have started going to therapy and medicated and ever since I started making an effort to be better I’ve felt miles and miles better. More stable, less mood swings, no emptiness.

I am doing everything I can to break my bad patterns early on in my life, so I’m curious as to how I know whether or not its unhealthy? And how I can make sure it is healthy and stays healthy and not codependent.