Hey, im a 19 year old guy from Germany so im goin to apologize beforehand that my english is not perfect. I have always had a difficult life and the older I get, the more worried I become that Im wasting my precious youth rotting away in my room. I hate going to school because I dont like the people there and would much rather study on my own, but im right before graduating the Abitur which my parents insist on getting. I also have no idea what to do after school. right now i would probably do something it related like computer science.

The things that really bother me:

My parents probably think im a faliure

Might be bi but too scared to tell parents about it

no friends in school instead i get bullied

extremely socially anxious and introverted

no hobbys, instead im Only really interested in pc games, anime and never had any form of a romantic relationship before.

How do I find and become friends with like minded people? I think this is my biggest issue because in the past when I actually had friends in school and also outside of school, everything seemed alot easyer and I didnt feel so miserable. sadly my friends left school and moved away so we dont really talk anymore.

I have tried Joining discord servers but im usually too scared to say anything and just ghost...

Thank you very much for reading my post and if no one does, then at least it was a way for me to vent my frustrations about myself.