so whenever i get upset with someone or feel hurt by their words or actions.. i tend to distant myself emotionally and physically even if i'm with them. i guess it's a bad coping skill i've always had and frequently use to protect myself from my fear of abandonment but it's like part of me is screaming to stop and just let them in and be open about my feelings and hurt and the other part of me that takes over is telling me calmly to just... separate myself. sometimes i become passive aggressive towards them and then when they ask what's wrong, i always say nothing... why do i do this? why do i purposely torture myself and push people away that i care about sooo much? and then when they do the same, i panic... my abandonment issues kick in and i'm scared i've fucked everything up by trying to protect myself...idk how to stop doing this, i've always done this :((((