background:
i’m a high school student who has been having bc a lot of anxiety about school lately and am wondering what i should do. so i have been diagnosed with social anxiety in the past, but not GAD. i’m posting this to see if what i’m experiencing is normal or if i should get it checked out. 


so most of my anxiety stems from grades. i am a perfectionist and hold myself to really high standards. ik this seems normal but in my case i feel like it’s severe. i literally cry if i get below a 97 on anything, which is a big issue. my parents have never pressured me to do well in school, and they are actually really concerned about my obsession with grades. i literally open powerschool (app on my phone where j can see my grades) multiple times a day just to make sure my grades haven’t dropped. powerschool has a notification system where my phone vibrates every time i have a grade change and every single time i feel the vibration i get so anxious and feel like crying, even before seeing the grade update. this has gotten really bad and i’m worried about how grades are impacting my mental health. i study so much that i think it’s unhealthy. honestly, i think i have a fear of failure. i just wanna be able to feel proud of myself without having perfect grades. 

i also have really bad panic attacks about grades. for example, once i wrote a bio test and went home thinking it went fine. i then texted my friend to compare answers and a lot of our answers were different. this is when i started overthinking. i couldn’t stop overthinking and just kept thinking about what other answers i got wrong. i kept calculating my grade on the test if i got those questions wrong, and predicted that i would get a 70. i was so scared to get my test back. i had trouble sleeping for the whole week while i waited. every night i just couldn’t stop thinking about the test. i had 2 panic attacks in bed just thinking about the test and how i was a failure. i then got my test a week later and i got a 98. this happens almost every time we have a test. my friends always compare themselves to me because i have “good grades” but honestly im so jealous of them. i wish i could stop worrying about school and having this anxiety so much. as i’m writing this i literally feel so anxious because i’m talking about school. 

i know what i’m experiencing is not normal and i wanna stop. i just don’t know how or if i can. i miss when school was fun and just about learning. i hate how much school is affecting my mentally. 

i feel like i just want people to be proud of me. my parents say they’ll be proud no matter what but i still wanna do good so they’re proud of me. my dad especially is really worried about me. he always tells me to stop stressing and to enjoy school. i remember once after writing a math test i told him i was extremely anxious about my result and he reassured me. i ended up getting a 95. i don’t know why i get so anxious about tests even tho i will probably do well on them. 

now i’m just wondering if anyone else has gone through/ is going through something similar. also hoping for some coping mechanisms or advice because i don’t know what to do. thanks!!!