After being a part of this sub and participating for over a year now, I finally got diagnosed with depression. Never did I think I was depressed, because my best friend was depressed and she was in a really bad place so I thought my situation was incomparable to hers. But recently, things took a steep down turn for me.

And it finally happened, I got diagnosed. Somehow the diagnosis makes me feel worse, it’s like a confirmation of my misery. 

My doctor and family are encouraging me to start antidepressant medication (Escitalopram, to be precise), but I feel reluctant because I recently realized I was the only person in my family who wasn’t on antidepressant medication.

I feel like if I start medication I’m surrendering. Maybe I feel that way because I’m still coming to terms that my mood/brain is in absolute shambles right now and I’ve finally reached this point in my life. I also don’t want my entire family to be on antidepressants cuz that’s just, well.. depressing. 

I don’t want my entire family to feel miserable, I don’t want to surrender, i have the feeling that I must be the last one standing no matter what. I only wonder at what cost …

Seeking advice wether this is the right choice or if I’m just martyring myself, thank you.