I know it doesn’t excuse my behaviors in the past. But I’m just now accepting that I have this disorder and probably always will. It makes so much sense in regards to my crazy hurtful actions and what I do when I feel abandoned, my entire life. Reaching out for therapy for the millionth time this week.

I blurted it out today. And he said what he always says “I don’t believe in mental illness.” But he’s a self-aware narcissist, which I pointed out, and he said “yeah but I control it.” Well, cool. So that’s what I’m trying to do with my mental illness. How can I convince him it is real and not just “weak-ass bitch” syndrome like he says?