I can't handle plans being cancelled but that's what happened today because of a storm warning. The event I was going to (and spent all my spending money this paycheck getting ready for) was rescheduled for my birthday, a day when I'm scheduled to work.

The money pissed me off, but when I realized I'd have to spend the last birthday of my 20s at work alone while everyone I know is at a party without me crushed me to the point I grabbed a box cutter from my drawer at work and just dug it into my arm. It was dull enough to not do much damage but ugh... I'm disappointed in myself. 

I haven't self harmed in 3 years and tonight I did. Because I was angry about having to be lonely tomorrow. I hate my brain.