I think your better option is to learn how it’s going to affect you. My ex boyfriend, who was intelligent and patient beyond any reasonable person, worked hard to learn about BPD. He bought himself I love you, don’t leave me (or something like that) and bought me Get Me Out of Here. We would discuss our books with one another, what I saw of myself in the book he bought me, and then he would tell me what he learned about me from his book. It was awesome. 

Things he learned - I am going to split, but he seriously loved me and would come back. He set up boundaries, he would tell me if I was calling/texting/being over bearing and we would talk about it, why it was happening and what I truly needed from him. He handled my insane mood swings like a champion, often just hugging me until it passed, or we would sit and discuss my reaction vs the actual problem and why it didn’t fit and what a more logical reaction looked like. He understood my fear of abandonment and if he had to cancel plans, or change something, or would be late he always called and explained what it was, what he didn’t want me to think it was, and exactly why a change was taking place.

In turn, I learned to listen and accept boundaries, I learned more about my disorder than I ever did from any therapist. I learned different ways to respond to situations. It got to a point where I would honestly sit and really think about what was in front me and how I wanted to react vs how I should react.  

Edit: I learned to trust a bit more, that someone not talking to me didn’t mean they hated me/were abandoning me. I learned to look at myself from someone else’s POV. He would say to me “Lavendar you didn’t talk to me for two weeks, I didn’t answer you for twenty minutes, let’s think about this”.  I am SO FAR from perfect and I have fu*k ups literally every single day, but I am able to back up and even if I’ve already reacted or done something in poor taste I can recognize and try to fix it much sooner. It’s awesome.

We had a beautiful relationship until he blocked me on every platform and ran off with one of my elementary school friends lol. Whodathunkit!