I’m so angry and upset by everything today. I haven’t had any medication for a week as I went off of it in preparation for a new medication but I’m not even seeing my doctor for another week. This caused me to leave work after only an hour because I was so anxious and nauseous. I’ve felt so pathetic and guilty for leaving. I feel like I’m a weak person for not staying. I’m so mad at my parents too because I’ve been waiting ages to get a diagnosis (which I did, was BPD of course) and they said they couldn’t take me to the doctors because they had work so I’ve been waiting and waiting for this appointment to happen just for my mum to text me and say she basically had this whole week off. It makes me angry just typing that because my appointment for new meds isn’t until the 25th of November and I’ve already been waiting over a week. This may not be an issue to some, but the fact that I’ve not been on medication for over a week already is taking its toll on me. My parents used to cancel work or drop whatever they were doing so they could take my older sister to appointments but it’s clear they won’t do that for me. Part of me feels like they’re scared of my BPD diagnosis because no one in my family has been diagnosed with something like that. Another part of me feels like they’re downplaying it because my whole life i was the “perfect kid” while they did everything for my sister which caused me severe emotional neglect issues (wow wonder how I got BPD!). I’m also feeling frustrated because when I saw my doctor last and told her about my potential BPD (this was before I was diagnosed) she looked at me like she saw a ghost and said it doesn’t seem possible that I could have it (good job doc, a REAL psychiatrist and my DBT therapist both said I have it so off I’m not listening to you). Now the reason I’m frustrated is because she’s probably going to say some stupid crap about my diagnosis which I don’t want to hear about. I also feel like I can’t connect to my friends properly, they ignore my messages for long periods at a time and give half assed responses sometimes. I’m so annoyed and upset I just don’t want to talk to anyone.