I did a lot of dumb and irredeemable things the end of last year, and I just can’t help but to beat myself up for it. 

From basically almost ruining a great friendship with someone because I couldn’t respect their decisions/boundaries, to me sexting someone 3 years younger than me because I was an idiot who didn’t check to make sure that they were at least the same age or older than me (even though we were both legal ages I still feel disgusted with myself because of it), I just feel like I don’t deserve to give myself a break or to forgive myself after all of this. 

After speaking to some friends about it, they told me that I was being way too hard on myself, and that while what I did was wrong they know that it isn’t me and that I’d never do it again which is true but, why did I do it in the first place? Oh right, because I’m an impulsive loser who doesn’t think before she acts until it’s too late. 

I’ve lost so much because of my ridiculous behavior, and while that’s completely fine and understandable because of course some actions come with consequences, I just feel like I just haven’t punished myself enough for what I did still. I just don’t know what to do anymore.