A bit of background: I'm a 41-year-old man in New York City. On the surface, my life has been very good. I recently married a wonderful woman (43F), and just last week accepted a new job that I'm very excited about. I'm a recovering alcoholic with five years' sobriety and am very active in AA.

For my entire life, I've struggled with a particular problem: not being present. This manifests itself in a number of different ways.

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* Frequent, intense daydreams, often involving imagined conversations or confrontations with others. These will provoke a physical response, typically full-body shaking, repetitive hand movements, and compulsively rubbing the back of my head. They sometimes occur when I'm in the middle of a conversation. They cause me to stop listening to what another person is saying.
* A compulsive need to check my phone, even if all I do is remove it from my pocket, open it up, and then put it back. Twitter tends to be the app I open most often but I also open Instagram, Reddit, and other apps that have frequently updated information. I find that I look at these apps when I don't even want to, like when I'm in the middle of a conversation. This conveys that I'm not interested in what other people are doing, when this isn't my intention. 
* Often lacking awareness of my personal space. I'm a big man (6 foot 2, 200 pounds) and am constantly bumping into people and objects, awkwardly standing in the way, or otherwise forcing others to maneuver around me.
* Boneheaded decisions and general absentmindedness. A typical incident occurred on Saturday. My wife asked me to go to the farmer's market to buy mint, peaches, and lettuce. I arrived and fell almost into a trance, seeking to accomplish the errand as quickly as possible. Instead, I managed to buy mint that was rotten and two peaches that were bruised, all from the same stall. I should have shopped around and, if unable to find any good mint, not bought it at the market at all. But I was so spacey that I didn't think to do this. As a result, this almost ruined a nice dinner my wife had planned to make last night.

My wife is running out of patience with these lapses, and with my inability to be present. She wonders whether it's about her, and feels convinced that I truly don't want to be around her. I reassure her that it isn't about her, at all, though I don't blame her for feeling this way. I just can't seem to focus. I feel trapped in this cycle where I try so hard to please her and others that I end up making mistakes and pleasing no one.

I recently began seeing a new therapist, who suspects it might be OCD. We've only had one session, though. If anyone has any advice I would be grateful. Thank you!