I’m pretty good with my bpd. Diagnosed at 21, 34 now. Been in a relationship for 6 years. Got a dog. A place. A job. A car. 

The other week my dog nearly died because of negligence on my vets behalf. I truly believe I’ve never lost it like I did that day and since then I have the shortest of fuses. I class my self has high functioning but today I very nearly called my manager a cu** she is nasty corporate type. Lies and makes me feel incredibly angry. I’m now fearful I’m going to lose my job which I’ve held for nearly 7 years ( the longest ever for me).

And all this got me thinking. I don’t think I’ll ever lose my bpd. I have zero coping mechanisms when something goes wrong and if something emotional happens my brain is never going to react the way I’m taught it should. It’s an impossible task to hold any rational thoughts when my mind goes from sitting on the sofa to a marathon in a matter of seconds.I think this is why health care professionals give up. I know exactly what to do. My triggers and still every time without fail I have a whopper of a episode. 

Ps. My dog is ok now.