It’s becoming excruciating. My fp doesn’t even see me romantically, but I can’t tell him that Im in love with him because it will ruin everything. He’s become my only motivation. Talking to him is the only thing I look forward to. He gives me life. 

Most of the time he’s the only person that makes me happy.. until I realize he talks to other people.

Why does he talk to other girls. Why does he text them as much as me. Why did he let those girls flirt with him. Why has he kissed other girls.

I know I don’t own him. But I can’t handle the pain. Im never not thinking about him it’s become an unhealthy obsession I honestly feel bad for him. He is constantly on my mind. Im constantly checking to see if he’s online or if he’s ignoring me. 

Why did he respond later? Was he talking to another girl? Is he annoyed by me? He probably literally hates me.

I can’t function without him. I hate this so so much. Recently I’ve started making up lies to make him jealous. I’m desperate and at this point, I can’t even imagine my future without him. Either we be together forever, or I get over him and move on because I can’t do this anymore. What also kills my soul is the fact that he will never ever love me as much as I love him, and that’s never gonna change.