I know its late but I could really use some help rn... I haven't been doing so well recently and today is a bit of a toughie. I've really been struggling with not having a job and worrying that I'm just not meant for good things and I will fail my semester... I've been pretty convinced I'm a bad person too and I had a few arguments with my boyfriend when he tried to bring small things up with me (Like how he likes to clean up while cooking and I do it after) and I got so irrationally upset and I'm finding I am missing parts of my memory during high stress situations which stresses me out even more.. I know none of this is rational because he's my partner and I want him to talk to me about his concerns but recently, every concern feels like a failure on my part and further feeds my feelings of being a bad person and makes me withdraw even more... I'm really quite scared tbh All this is makes me even more afraid to lose him but at the same time a small part of me wants him to leave me because I'm just so messed up and I don't want to hurt him... I love this man and I know that but I don't get what my brain is doing and I'm a bit freaked out.. Also, I've found that I've also stopped doing things that I enjoy for some reason even though I really want to do them I feel like I'm not allowed to enjoy them... I've stopped working out as much as I like and drawing and not having these things makes me even more stressed but I feel like I'm not allowed to enjoy them.. isn't that crazy? Please help I'm so stressed and confused and I don't get to see my therapist until Friday...