 I have been on benzodiazapines for 26 yrs and for the most part thought I would die on them having never attempted to reduce them due to crippling anxiety and agoraphobia. Anxiety ruined my 20's and 30's and dominated my entire life, and held me back from things I inwardly wanted to achieve. 

My post is not to encourage or advise medication adjustments, it is my personal journey. My post is to show you must never give up. I never envisaged a life free from anxiety or agoraphobia let alone multiple medications,  I thought it was my fate and accepted it for many years, until I fought back. I did my research and studied my condition, I got to know the physical process of what was happening to me and only then did I realise I could do something about it.

 I started with meditation and moved onto yoga and it has truly changed my world. When we are forearmed with the facts about anxiety and depression we no longer have to imagine, we know all to well what the imagination does on occasion, it creates scenarios that we feel we ready have suffered, and for the most part we actually have, in our mind.  I write this post with a happy and grateful heart, and a hope that at least one person may read it and maybe take away a glimmer of faith. We already lived through hell each day with anxiety what do we have to lose? 

Find something that gives you respite from the thinking brain and you will be halfway there. I cannot recommend yoga and meditation highly enough. My only regret if any is that I didn't try sooner to escape the living hell that was life for many years. I promise you if you take certain steps you will live a happy life, a more peaceful existence and even smile just because you feel good. 

I'm almost free of benzos now a dream I never thought possible. I wake up looking forward to the day instead of dreading the hours until sleep. I can now converse with others and not have to focus on staying grounded for fear  I may pass out, and I no longer suffer the dreaded depersonalisation which I have come to find is severe hypervigalance, not the imagined insanity in my mind. 

I do hope someone reads this and maybe begins a new way of life. It may just be a moment of happiness to begin with, a moment of hope. I guarantee it will grow into a way of being, and an unbecoming of fear and terror.  Sending love to all who are suffering today, and hope. Apologies I advance for my grammar.