My girlfriend and I had a blow out over a minor thing over labor day weekend.  I don't even know what triggered it.  I could tell we both were tired and agitated because she was all fired up and had to be in go, go, go mode all day.  By the end of the day I was anxious, so I apologized and mentioned that I really prefer my weekends to have more structure and only freestyle a few things.  Next thing I knew, she was sarcastic, rolling her eyes and she walked off and started the silent treatment.

At this point, (6 months into the relationship) I was caught off guard by the disdain she showed.  I kept to myself and waited for her to bring things back up.  She didn't.  So the next morning, I packed my bags to drive back home (long distance relationship).  She brought things up as I was just about to leave...by accusing me of giving up, not caring for her as much as she cared for me, not being fair to her to only be willing to talk after I had the keys in my hand.  Everything, the kitchen sink, sofa, end table, lawn mower and the garden rake were tossed into the accusations along with a detailed "analysis" of my character flaws.

I was gob smacked and couldn't process what was going on.  I put my keys down to talk, but she continued to vent and tell me how unfair I was to her to be trying to talk with my car packed and keys in hand.  So I left.

I texted her when I got home...no reply.  Texted the next day...no reply.  A couple of days later I asked her if she'd like to talk on the phone.  She agreed and we "talked" which turned into more panic and anger on her part.  I mentioned that the silent treatment doesn't usually work well in arguments and typically if someone dismisses the other without a time frame to return to the topic, the dismiss-er has the responsibility to bring the topic back up...she got sarcastic about my having "rules" for fighting.  

Long story short, since the argument, I've been researching our relationship dynamic.  I hate internet diagnoses, but I have to consider that she might be BPD given all of the other issues I've noticed (depression, some paranoia, jealously of my friends, the speed she wants the relationship to develop and constantly crossing my boundaries)

So..here's my question.  She's been willing to respond to a couple of my texts. Not much, but no longer always ignoring them .  I don't push for anything...just text her a pretty picture to help her day along.  (I feel better that even if the breakup is permanent, we're at least on better terms than when she hung up on me.)  Thing is, should continue to reach out to her, or should I now let it be on her shoulders to contact me?  

I hate that I figured out how my communication (logic based) style is utterly wrong for her *after* we had a spat big enough that we might be broken up.  Then again, I'm also glad I now know more about what she meant when she said "if you really knew me, you'd probably not even consider a relationship with me).  That tells me she has some inkling about what's going on, even though I think all that anyone has ever said to her is that she's *way* too emotional and volatile.

So keep texting occasional happy's, or now wait for her to reach out?

Oh, I almost forgot, I mentioned to her in an email that I wanted to get therapy for myself to learn how to set boundaries more clearly (I mentioned to her before all this that I wasn't good with setting limits).  Is there any way to bring up the subject where she might consider therapy for herself?  (fwiw, she did couples therapy with her ex and it was all about pointing fingers that the other person was wrong, wrong, wrong) 

thanks for any advice!