CW: Brief mention of sewerslide (but no actual discussion)

I'm saying this in the nicest way possible, I wish I never had a fp. Having them means my ENTIRE MOOD depends on them. My ENTIRE LIFE is dependent on them. I'm independent 90% of the time but that whole 10%? It's purely theirs and I HATE IT.

And y'know what's the worst part? You always feel like they'll never love and care for you as much as you do no matter what they say/do to/for you. 

My fp insulted me in a fit of anger in the middle of an argument a few days ago and even though she apologized I can't get it out of my head and I keep having mental breakdowns and thoughts of unaliving (emphasis on only *thoughts*). It's so dumb yet it HURTS because it's your FAVORITE PERSON.

Having a favorite person is such a blessing but damn can it be a fucking curse.