Not even 25 minutes ago I was sobbing into my pillow and saying "I can't do this" over and over while I begged to God someone would call me so I could hear a familiar voice.

Then I got up, went over to my computer and started watching Minecraft videos on YouTube having the time of my life.

This is such a weird disorder, I always experience such intense emotions. It's never kind of happy or kind of sad. It's always "this is the best moment of human existence and never will anyone experience this level of euphoria", or it's "life has no meaning. we are born with no purpose and suicide is the only escape from the prison we call existence". It's so hard to keep track of which one I'm feeling and it's fucking tiring man. I just wanna be normal.