Abandons and betrays BF for a random stranger while drinking at a bar after telling BF that it is rude to talk to his children or anyone on the phone for a few minutes if pwBPD/GF is present (see last email to GF after A-Z listing)

Afraid of being alone - both now and in the future

Always testing BF - total push/pull....push/pull - took it way to far with point number 1 above - if that was even about pushing him at all - It may just have been just looking for BFs replacement in front of his face

BF feels like a slow cooking lobster - didn't realize all of the red flags until years into the relationship and after breaking up / getting away to have clarity of mind 

Calls BF drunk after one year of not talking past midnight crying and stating she will never take him back; he hasn't spoken to her and really didn't want her back 

Changes appearance often (color of hair, color of contacts, etc...)

Does not buy Christmas gift or a card for BF even though BF bought her and her family gifts

Does not invite BF over to her house hardly for any reason unless if they are out drinking and she either wants to keep the party going or wants sex

Dissociates with flickering eyes and panics and wants to open the car door and run

Does not have deep relationships with friends or family

Does not like the silence - has to have noise in the background always - even while going to bed

Double standards - way too many to mention - actions were sometimes vastly different than words

Drinks and drives - slightly crashed her car and tried to blackmail BF into paying for it

Drives to ensure BF is home and no other cars are at his house OR drives by once she realizes that she was wrong (rare - after a major fuck up) - could be during the day or in the middle of the night

Easily upset and angered and either walks or runs away; stays very quiet; or pouts

Emotional vampire that left the BF feeling drained and even hardly able to keep his eyes open when he was around her

Feelings change quickly

Get out NOW! It will not get better...keep reading

Had an affair with her previous boss and often 

Hits in the face, pinches/kicks under the table in social settings if feels the wrong thing is said

Hypocritical behavior and actions

Idealizes and then devalues -  says "I used to think that differently about BF" 

Jealous for no obvious reason

Keys car on multiple occasions

Laughs when people are being serious (maybe she is nervous) and other odd emotional reactions 

Likes horror or action movies and must always be watching or doing something

Listens to dark music with very dark and heavy lyrics

Makes you feel insecure and overly self-aware and feel like you need to walk on eggshells to avoid conflict

Materialistic - first time saw BFs car said "Are you going to do something about this?" She then dissociated and had a panic attack and almost jumped out of the car

Might be comorbid - she displays ADHD and high functioning autism traits

Never or very rarely apologizes

No interest in meeting, knowing or being around BFs family; BF (one or two times) invited to meet or be around her family or friends

No social media presence with the BF at all; no pictures together or shared on her social media

- BF feels like a total placeholder

Open to tell strangers/others personal/private details that perhaps should be kept private

Projects her bad behavior unto BF - accuses BF of cheating and having double standards

Provocative/sexy in dress, appearance, smell, walk, eyes and mannerisms; wants to feel like the prettiest girl in the room

Quiet and shy - but likes to be the center of attention

Runs - when upset or over emotional - eating/driving/on a cruise ship/anywhere/from her home country to the US - always runs

Says that all of her BFs have broken up with her (victim) and says she filed for divorce because her husband cheated on her (victim)

Secretive with phone and secretive in general

Shows no real empathy or compassion for others 

Shy but likes to be the quiet center of attention or the one that gets the eyes and is talked about

Superficial in appearance and judges others superficially

Traumatic burn and injury as a 4 year old child - left visible scars on shoulders and arms - she is very self conscience about this

Unstable in personal identity and with relationships, but functioning well enough to fool most others  

Very difficult be be around and to have to deal with

Walking ahead of BF... more times than not

Wanted BF to propose, but treated him like a placeholder

X-ray your head; or their head - or better yet, just trust your gut and get out while an inkling of sanity remains

Yesenia

Zzzzzz... this is tiring but it had to be said - now for the last email....


Why Would She Do This to Me?


I wouldn't believe it unless I saw it with my own eyes. There is nothing that I could ever say to describe the amount of shock, pain and devastation that I felt that evening. The actions of another made me physically and mentally ill and feeling totally embarrassed, humiliated and emasculated. Especially emasculated... a feeling that will hopefully pass one day. 


The actions taken were deliberate and done to either harm me or at a minimum, done so selfishly without any regard or concern for my feelings.  I could never imagine that anybody would ever do that to anyone, much less have it happen to me. Driving off, seeing her not follow, yet smile and delight in conversation even after the way a stranger spoke to me, the thoughts in my mind go round and round and round and back.... Why would anybody do this to anybody? More specifically, why would she ever do this to me? 


To choose to stay with a stranger, smile at my face, not leave with me, let a stranger say words to me, and continue to sit right next to him well into the night when she would normally leave...Why would she do this to me? 


If after I spent the day drafting responses to help her at work and to take time to go out and buy drinks even when I was in the process of moving and had a lot to do, why would she do this to me? 


If when we are together, I cannot even talk to my daughter on the phone that long because I need to show respect for the company that I am with, according to her, why would she choose to spend precious hours with a stranger? Why would she do this to me? 


When I told her that I feel more down now than I have ever felt in my entire life, why would she do this to me? 


The memory, shock, pain and harm caused will hopefully one day subside. In one billion years, I would never imagine that I would witness an event like this, much less, be a part of it. Why would she do this to me?


If when we are supposed to be starting new, she was so ready to leave me for one random stranger that caught her attention, she could and would do it again, anytime and anywhere, with me there or without me there. I must acknowledge reality...She did this to me. 


If she did do this to me, what else can she do to me? In the end, I have to acknowledge the truth. The stone cold reality. She did this to me. 


So, to answer the question, "Why would she do this to me?", I don't know why and I never will and quite frankly, I don't want to know even if she knew. She did this to me. 


In the end, she did what she did. She chose a stranger and chose to emasculate, humiliate and embarrass me in public with others watching. Even when I came back, she still chose the stranger. 


She did what she did. I now have to do what I have to do and say goodbye forever.