I have had anxiety for years. Some times it is not too bad and other times I have anxiety attacks daily and the littlest thing makes me breakdown. Over the past three weeks my anxiety has gotten worse and worse. 

I know Russian pretty well, as in I can translate from Russian to English and can understand Russian perfectly. The problem I have is with speaking Russian, especially in front of strangers, my anxiety gets so bad I forget how to speak in Russian. At my job I am sometimes asked to help translate for some clients, and my first two times translating were fine because the clients could understand English and just needed what they said in Russian translated into English. Two days ago I was asked to translate for a client who did not understand English and needed everything translated. I was so close to breaking down in that zoom call as I was not able to translate well and forgot almost everything. That meeting was just the cherry on top for my anxiety that had gotten worse and worse due to family problems and personal problems. 

After that horrible experience I sent an email to my boss saying that I did not want to translate for clients for some time. I have a meeting with them this week and I'm honestly so anxious about it. I don't know how to tell them why I don't want to translate for clients without breaking down crying. I just feel like I'm such a failure and that I'm letting them down and disappointing them.