Feeling very upset about my state today. I got diagnosed with anxiety in 2019, so I have had it for a while. As of late, I’ve just been thinking that maybe this “disorder” isn’t real and I’m blowing it out of proportion. I’ve been doing terrible in school but no one thinks any of the learning disorders apply to me. I’m just tricking myself into being lazy out of anxiety I guess. But I also don’t see anxiety as a thing to make school hard, so I think I’ve just been making things harder than they need to be.

Everyone thinks that I don’t try hard enough to control it, although they don’t actually say it. I’m just at a point where I want nothing to do with my feelings and just have to work harder than everyone else because maybe I’m just supposed to do that. I feel like I’ve used it as a crutch way too much these past few years.