I am short, ugly, and autistic. My parents were neglectful and abusive and I have no positive memories from my childhood. I have been bullied at school ever since I could remember. I dont have any good memories from school that don’t involve being bullied. The few friends I have made kept me around out of pity and mocked me constantly. Only one who I thought was genuine abandoned me when I was most depressed. I am not smart or funny. My sense of humor is weird and I cant communicate with people in a non-awkward fashion. I dropped out of High School due to a combination of factors although I ended up getting a diploma a few months after I was supposed to graduate. Fast forward a year and I have dropped out of 2 different community colleges due to my own incompetence. I have no good relationships with anyone, I have been treated terribly my whole life. All I do is walk around my city aimlessly like a lost soul. 

People look at me like a freak no matter what I do and I dont know how to change it. I dont even know what I want at this point. I am about to turn 19 and my life has been nothing but pain and loneliness. I am literally good at nothing and have no hobbies or interests. Movies, TVs, and Video Games barely interest me and I have no artistic or creative capabilities. I dont understand why my life is like this. I always tried to be nice to people and although im “weird”, im not perverted nor do I go out of my way to make people feel comfortable, but im branded as a creep no matter what I do due to combination of ugly looks and autism. It feels like god is punishing me for something I did in a past life. I am very angry, sad, and bitter at the world. I just wanted to feel accepted.