Sometimes I’m okay. Other times I feel intense emotional pain and wish I didn’t exist. I’m not sure exactly what to call it. I don’t want to kill myself but also I wish I wasn’t alive. I’m just kind of dealing with these intense emotions and wishing I was dead. 

I’m not sure what to do or how to not feel these feelings anymore. It just hurts to be existing. I hate having memories and I want to erase them to be happy but we can’t do that. 

Not sure what my point is for creating this post. Maybe just an attempt to see if anyone can relate or understand what I’m trying to say.