I have been suffering from bad anxiety and depression for the last 2 years. I have been in an on and off relationship with my boyfriend for this time. He wants us to get married and have kids. I have no idea what I want. My anxiety is centered about my trust issues, and when I think about marriage I become fearful of betrayal like has happened to me in the past. I am not ready to take that leap of faith but hes also patient so I am just left in this state of limbo where I am saying ' I am not ready today, and dont know when I will be". I just feel guilt for doing this to a good man. I have told him many times he can leave me and would be better off. He always wants to stick by me even when I say I dont want a relationship. Sorry for the ramble, I just wanted to know if anyone else out there has no idea what they are doing in their life or what direction they are going.