Title says it all. I've always felt that I'm ok with being alone, having a few but very good best friends, but relationships bring out the worst in me, and as dark as it sounds, being alone works for me.  

  
I hate it, I want so badly to be married, be married and be a good mother, but I think a part of me knows I won't ever be that, and it's ok.  
My family has had a long history of mental health issues on my father's side, and part of me feels like it's time to cut it off for good.  

I love loving people, but it just hurts me and them more than if we were just friends. It hurts saying this but I think it's true. I'd rather be lonely than hurt the people I love.