Sometimes I do fucked up shit but I don't feel guilty about it. I don't ever feel anything like sadness, guilt, desire, unless I am talking to a particular person. I don't think I am a garden variety psychopath even though I say I am sometimes- I think I have histrionic personality disorder. Mine doesn't manifest classically or in an obvious way. Since I am kind of shy and awkward in physical social situations I only usually attention seek on the internet and on the phone. I am wondering if only being able to feel intense things when its in relation to another person is a symptom of HPD. Like you just constantly feed off validation and company and reactions whether negative or positive.

I do not have the whole overemotional drama queen shpeal histrionics I've read about do. I am pretty whatever, bland, blah. But this could because of the schizoid tendencies,idk.

tldr: I think I'm histrionic cuz I only feel things I am 'supposed to' feel when talking to someone even tho I am not very empathetic ..I also might have psychopathic tendencies. 