im watching my grandfather suffer and i cant do anything about it. he’s getting more and more health complications, dementia is also a thing now. he’s the only one i have and seeing him go through this is making me spiral back. im starting to lose interest in things again and i dont know what might happen if i were to lose him for real. it’s not helping how he’s in another country and the next possible visa interview is on 2023 for me. he’s in a nursing facility with no fucking television in the room. he has no one with him. i dont think he’s even being assisted to go outside for walks. i want to be there for him but this pandemic is making things hard. i stopped seeing my therapist and medication because i thought my life is okay now but this happens. i literally have nothing to live for. im doing everything to make him proud but it’s pointless now.