I don't expect anyone to read this, just need to get shit off of my chest before I break down and cut myself to death.




I'm 19, never thought I'd make it this far actually. Especially after the break up with my ex of almost 3 years. That happened around a year ago, yet I still haven't moved on.

I thought I would've moved on by now, I felt like it anyway. I loved her but she couldn't be with me so she broke up with me. Worst time of my life. In the months after that I dropped out of college, gained 15 kg, barely left my room. After 6/7 months I signed up for a new college study, started working out, things were going on the right path, and met a new girl, who has now been my girlfriend for 3 months. 

But I'm a fool. I'm a cunt. I apparently haven't moved on. Sometimes I still miss my ex, especially now that recently I got messaged by some people she knows, and now I heard she is seeing someone else. Nothing wrong with that, I'm glad for her. But it still hurts. More than I'd like to admit.

I feel worthless now I don't have her. I feel like a dick for thinking I was ok, and getting together with my gf. She doesn't deserve this, not at all. 

Turns out writing this just made me feel even worse, damn.

Life sucks. A lot. Maybe the end is not so bad at all?