I’m really tired of people saying “I’m here for you if you want to talk”. I get it, people want to help but man actually utilizing that resource is exhausting. The thought of it is exhausting. “Is something wrong?” Well yeah obviously but I’m not in the mood to drag you down to this level and get emotionally wrapped into outpouring my life story to you over the phone. The irony isn’t lost on me, just feels better to type it out l guess. 

I’m not suicidal or anything close. But this sucks. I look back at old photos of myself just 6 or 7 years ago and I know something is wrong. The shittiest part is looking at those old photos and remembering how I used to feel and what my outlook on life was.

I’m also tired of this shit not going away. I’ll have a good day or two and then stress and unavoidable life events just make those low days feel like a pit your left to climb out yourself. 

Tired of everyone looking at me like a sick puppy. They pity and maybe empathize but they know, and I know, there isn’t anything that can be done. Just a lonely feeling no matter how close, or far, you are to someone who wants to help.