I mean people always say that it's going to get better and you will find happiness but that simply not true, I believe that some people are just made happy and some others like me just don't find life worth it. I don't want to wake up go to a shitty paying job go home and feel like shit just to be able to barley have enough money to survive. 

I only see my family and friends once a year so my death wouldn't mess up there lives too much, and it seems like the much better option then living and feeling like shit the rest of my life and burdening my family.

I don't find it to be worth it so what is stopping me from blowing my brains out?