Hey all,
I was just recently diagnosed with BPD, but I had suspected a couple years ago that I have it. Being diagnosed officially, has given me weird feelings. I'm happy that there is something to put a name to all the crap that goes on in my head, instead of feeling like I'm going crazy (I still think I am going crazy most of the time but you know what I mean), but then I'm also extremely sad and guilty even. 

Which brings me to my question. Does anyone else out there identify as extremely self aware, to the point where you know you are having an emotional outburst that is not necessary? I can see my rational brain trying to calm me down but my irrational side takes over. Once  I am calm again, I feel extreme guilt and self hatred for "over-reacting" and then, I spiral again and dive into a self-loathing pit of despair. It's so hard for me to know if my feelings and reactions are "normal" (whatever that means), to the point that I am ALWAYS feeling guilty for having ANY negative feelings or reactions, especially with my partner. 

So firstly, does anyone understand my ramble and do the same things? And secondly, How do you know if your feelings are valid or if they are just the BPD rearing it's head? I'm struggling :(