Hi guys, this is my first post on reddit - I need some advice. I'm a trans guy but unfortunately my dad makes me play in a women's team in the sport I play. The girls in the team are alright and I'm sure they wouldn't misgender me if I told them my preferred name and pronouns, but I'm afraid to tell them in case my parents overhear them calling me my preferred name/pronouns in a match or during a training session.  
Because I can't tell them, going to training becomes a huge cause of anxiety for me because I'm afraid of being misgendered. It makes me feel so unhappy and like the battles of fought to socially transition up until this point don't mean anything. It makes me feel worthless and angry at myself, which as you can probably tell is a viscous cycle that kicks my depression up.  
I know the solution to this is to tell my parents but I can't - I'm afraid of my dad because he can be verbally abusive and I don't want to make my mum upset by having an argument with my dad. My dad wants me to play this sport, but I just don't enjoy it and I can't see a way out. This year is my last year playing the sport competitively because I have to study for big exams next year, but I really don't think I can make it through the summer with my mental health intact.

On a side note, I'm also afraid of being judged. While training, I think of myself as far inferior to the other kids who play in my team as they have been playing for a lot longer than me and are far more confident and skilled. I will admit I'm not amazing at the sport but I do try my best, but feeling like I'm being judged makes me so anxious I can't function and end up screwing up more than I would have done if I was calm.

These are the two issues that are really laying heavy on me at the moment and I have no idea how to deal with them. Please comment your advice, I would appreciate this so much as I have no adults in my life right now I can properly communicate with who will take me seriously. 

Thanks internet - Theo