Since the lockdown has started this has been growing worse, but my problem has been there for months, if not years. Basically, it seems like I just cannot keep a normal sleep schedule or routine.

I've done two all nighters this week already and I'm on track for a third tonight. I slept 10 pm to 10 am last night. Some nights I sleep like a well adjusted person, and others are just wacky. I'll sleep all day and be up all night. Maybe I'll sleep all afternoon then sleep in the morning. Other times I'll just not sleep for 48 hours.

Its been awful. I went to my GP and told him how I was doing and how badly it was impacting my life (its ruining my chances of functioning like the average person) and he sent me away with some Belsomra and told me my psych meds were too complicated for him to handle. My psychiatrist had told me to talk to him.

At this point, I don't know what to do. I feel so alone. The only information I could really find about this was for blind people but I'm not sure I would be welcomed talking to them. I still struggle feeling like my disability isn't "real" enough because it's "all in my head" and every other derogatory statement toward mental illness. I feel like reaching out to someone who is blind would feel like I'm just reaching to justify being something I'm not? Even though my mental illness is literally keeping me from functioning. I don't know. Sorry this is rambly.