To preface this, I've been diagnosed with BPD for over three years. It's been a difficult journey. I'm not trying to perpetuate any of the stigma with any of what I'm about to say. 

&amp;#x200B;

I'm sure we're all at least somewhat aware of the kind of posts or comments I'm referencing. Many of us struggle with romantic relationships and will post here about it. I just want to say this isn't meant to invalidate anyone's feelings or make anyone feel like a bad person, but with BPD, relationships really can bring out the worst in us. I've seen countless comments on threads where someone mentions struggles in their relationship instantly siding with the OP, disregarding any unhealthy behaviour on their part and calling their SO "toxic, manipulative, gaslighting" and calling on them to break up. 

WE DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THESE PEOPLE OR THE SITUATION BEYOND ONE PERSON'S SIDE. 

We can't give unbiased advice or opinions. We can't know the objective truth. And so many people here act like not respecting your partner's/friend's/whatever boundaries, exploding on them, yelling, being obsessive, stalking them, being controlling, etc. is normal because "they're my FP". IT IS NOT NORMAL, OR OKAY. I know it's not our fault and we can't always control it. I've been toxic in the past. I've been manipulative. It was a hard pill to swallow but I had to admit that to myself to be able to grow as a person. It wasn't my fault, I didn't choose to have BPD, I couldn't always control it. But I had to take responsibility for my actions and behaviour and admit to myself that it wasn't normal, or okay, or excusable by saying "they're my FP, I have BPD, I can't help it". 

We can't always help it, but enabling each other isn't going to help us further our recovery towards being a healthy, functional human being who can cope with their thoughts and behaviours. I realise that many aren't at that point where they're ready to make that step, but please for the love of God stop making every calling-out of unhealthy behaviour "perpetuating the stigma" and "invalidating". It might be an explanation but it isn't an excuse. 

&amp;#x200B;

Again, I want to close this by saying none of this is meant to be read in a way to make anyone feel bad about themselves or their behaviour. We all know how hard it is to live with BPD and how easy it is to spiral out of control, and how important it is that we forgive ourselves for making mistakes and realise they don't define us to be able to grow.