I haven't ever been "formally" diagnosed with BPD, but recently I've been feeling like it's a big possibility so I mentioned it to my therapist of many years. She agrees that it's a possibility, and I have an appointment with a psychiatrist. 

Basically, I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm doing things that I feel like are completely out of my control. This guy I was seeing told me he wasn't interested in me so I went off on him. I apologized several times and we got to a better place, but then I went and made a fake tinder profile to see what he really thought about me. He blocked me on everything and I don't even know why I did it. I even lied and tried to pin it on one of my good friends. Looking back, it's like a different person did all of this. 

I do things that I know are completely irrational, but I can't seem to stop myself. I don't know what to do. It feels like someone else is taking over my body and all I can do is sit and watch while my life is completely ruined. 