I have a problem not finishing something I start and it is beginning to scare me as I get older (31F). I have felt intense shame insecure about it… however, I have a deep love and appreciation for fitness and nutrition.

I started taking course to be a CPT &amp; nutrition  coach but now I can’t pay for my classes. I’m so close to being done, it gives my anxiety and shame all over again because I just want to finish so badly and finally found what I love to do and now I don’t know where or how I’m going to get my class paid before March. I don’t know how to come up with five hundred dollars now and I just can’t ask anyone for that much money right now.

I am stay at home mom right now and we currently live with my parents to save money for a house and I also feel like a failure for that too. I am looking for work at home job right now but I have my toddler that I don’t have a lot of help with because everyone is so busy and daycare is way too expensive.  

Why am I failing at life? Why have I let great opportunities just passed by?? I feel like an idiot putting where I am in life now in to perspective… it’s embarrassing. All I am is a mother right now and while I am so grateful for my children, I want to be more than their mother. I want to raise them right but I’m not even right… 

My husband also does not support me when it comes to me wanting to be a CPT…he doesn’t even acknowledge it nonetheless help me with my classes… it makes me feel worthless and unimportant…. 

My mom and baby sister are going into business now.. my dad just bought my uncles salon and they both do nails so they have this great project right now. I asked my mom if I could help or contribute somehow and although her intent wasn’t to make me feel bad she told me “no I don’t think we need you for anything”. I wouldn’t say im jealous because i really am so happy for them but I do feel left out… 
It just makes me want to finish my classes even more bc I want something hat makes me feel proud of myself. I want to accomplish getting my certification so I can help others.. 

I NEED this. I finally discovered my passion and looks like I still won’t be able to finish reaching it… once again. I’m so close.