I've ruined nearly all of my close friendships and relationships over the course of my life so far. Even when it seems like we're on good terms I'll always find a way to burn the bridge completely down. I think I seem like an ok person to most of those who are currently in my life but they're not people I'm close with. The moment someone gives me just a tiny taste of emotional validation I latch on like a leech. I exhaust them mentally and emotionally until they manage to let go of me. So I don't see any use in trying to make close connections with people when I'm simply not healthy to be around. 
I don't exactly know what I'm asking for with this post. I think I want to be proven wrong but I'm not sure. Maybe I just want empathy or to see if someone relates.