I've been seriously depressed for the last several years and despite having a great love-life decent parents and minimal college stress I still feel like everything in the world is going to shit and nothing I do truly matters in the long run I've had suicidal ideations but I must state clearly that I never will follow through on that despite their increasing frequency I've been in a downward spiral and everything feels stagnant and or like it's getting worse I need therapy but I can't afford that because I live in America and it seems like nobody in my life actually cares enough to hear me out or give a shit except for my gf of 5 years which I'm endlessly grateful for but it only helps for a little bit and then I'm right back to being the same. I just generally feel jaded and desensitized with the world to the point where even the most horrific things don't even illicit a suggestion of an emotional response I need help and I need it from people who know what they're talking about