I’m so stressed out, and I just don’t want to. I didn’t take them yesterday, but I’ve been taking them up to then. I’ve just been so stressed out, and my chronic pain has been bad, and I feel like I need some hypomania to get me through these next few days.

The really mentally ill part of me is saying I even deserve it, as a treat. Which, I know isn’t me, it’s just man, I’m so tired. So tired. 

I know the odds are this will end badly, I’ll either end up in a mixed state tomorrow, or just as bad, I’ll be fine and just not take my meds for a while and that will end much, much worse, more likely than not.

TLDR; I’m just struggling and could use some encouragement to take my meds today