This fear is always on my mind, I ruin my day because I make up reasons in my head as to why the people I love don't actually love me and they are faking it. And even if my life has never been better, I cannot stop myself to always imagine the worst outcomes possible. I feel like everyone I like are going to leave me and I know that if I continue to act paranoid and sad all the time I will actually drive them away. And then it makes me even more stressed and paranoid that it could happen anytime and that I'm going to be left alone, I fear to be rejected so much that I can only think about that. 

I just wish that I was able to live in the present and to be able to stop worrying about things that probably won't even happen. I wish I could just enjoy the moments with thoses I love without always making myself believe some bullshit about why they hate me and why I don't deserve to be with them.