This is a terrible habit. Everyday I say I will wake up early tomorrow and start a good routine. I want to actually eat breakfast, exercise and get something productive done.

Instead I do very little. I get very distracted and overwhelmed. I have been obsessing about organizing all my stuff and getting rid of things. Organizing computer files and whatnot. Yet I do very little during the day to achieve this.

I am so worried about doing that stuff and getting a job that I also haven’t even listened to music or played video games very much. I have more free time than I have had in the last 8 years but I do absolutely nothing.

It’s getting to the point where I literally just think about killing myself. I’m not happy. I don’t see hope for being happy. My mind jumps all over the place. One minute I think being with my ex would make me happy. Another minute I think having a degree would make me happy.

How ironic is this though? I have a bunch of things I need to do. Yet I don’t work on them because I think there’s not enough time to do them. Yet I have all the time in the world. I realize it’s stupid yet I can’t change it. 