TW// mentions of emotional abuse

Today I finally cut ties with a “best friend” of over 5 years because she was just simply toxic. After being in OP for 2 months because of her, she still continued to disregard my need for space, betterment &amp; growth... she blew up my phone the entire time i was in OP &amp; never quit. 
Soon started the reoccurring cycle of accusing me of all these irrational things. Im going to admit... 2 people on different sides of the BPD spectrum IS A HARD RELATIONSHIP. Especially for so long. I have been in and out of impatient, outpatient, countless programs and intensive therapy &amp; this person has done nothing to better themself. For years I did everything for her... i drained myself so that she didnt have to. But after months of intensive CBT i realized a lot. Im in a great place but she never is, and i drags me down so much. For the past year my family and friends have begged me to cut ties and 4 months ago I decided to. But with our completely different headspaces (me being emotionally matured &amp; stable at this point &amp; her being completely not) i just didnt know what to say to her. Everything i say is twisted, everything i do is wrong.. everything and anything i said would hurt her... so i left it alone until it came to the point where i had my phone on DND for weeks. I couldnt do it anymore. The constant texts accusing me of shit, making me feel worthless, i finally put my foot down (and i never do.) and was SO NICE about it, i just said everything was just not healthy, some people grow apart. She harrassed me until my mother contacted her off my phone due to me being mentally unstable, and changed my phone number. I was almost sent to the hospital due to my episode today, but i talked to my therapist all night &amp; my family/ friends which were large supports. I really dont even know if this makes sense or follows but i guess im really just here to say I fear a lot now. I dont know how to turn off the fear of her doing what i saw she did to everyone else when they dropped her, i fear what info she will spread after knowing me for so long, i fear so much of my past resurfacing. I fear I cant go in public. I start to isolate. I dont want this to happen. Im not sad the friendships over, im honestly relieved. But i also have so much guilt. But for what? I guess i just need someone to validate me LMAO its a late night and here we all are overthinking OF COURSE🤣