I was about to fall asleep thoughts of my wrist bleeding and warm blood and numbing pain embracing me rushed to my head and it felt peaceful for a second. 

And then I felt terrified bc I started a new therapy after months (I had to drop bc of money) I am passing lessons in Uni after two long years of struggleing (not every one of them but this is still a huge progress). Even tho it is not really perfectly healthy I am fixing thing with my partner...

But I feel worse. I feel like I do all that for nothing. Therapy will not work, I will never graduate and I will never be happy. At this point I am disappointed myself bc I am so cowardly that I can't even and my life. And pls dont say things like "think about ppl who love you" my family loves me the most but they are the reason why I am like this. Idk what do I expect with this post. Its 4am and I cant sleep and maybe feeling someone with me would help.