I saw occupational health today and they said I'm fit to start a phased return to work. When I made the appointment in November I thought I was too but I've gone downhill since then and I have been immensely anxious about making a decision about work. I had finally decided that I wasn't ready and it is OK to wait until I am. I wasn't expecting them to pass me fit. Six months ago when I was adamant that I was ready they told me I wasn't so now my head is all over the place. I didn't tell them some things that I maybe should have because my support worker was there with me and I didn't want her to know some of the things I've been doing. (I've been walking around with a rope, a few blades and loads of tablets in my bag for the last few days). I'm finding this all really difficult because I find uncertainty really difficult to deal with and I wasn't expecting to be in this position when I woke up this morning. Now I don't know where I am with it all again. Mega mindfuck.