Ive been dating someone for 6 months and the first few were great but i noticed hed get “episodes” of extreme behavior . Sometimes incredibly self deprecating, needy and irritable. Sometimes completely opposite retellings of the same story. Like one time the person is his friend, the next time that person is just his coworker that he hates. 
He has extreme stances on money that hell use for an excuse not to do something, then blow $300 on something trivial. 
Around December he got so on edge and blew up over the smallest things, like me throwing away some broken tupperware or my asking to meet his coworkers. Hed also demand that i lay in bed with him and tell him all the reasons i loved him and wasnt going to leave ect. my patience wore out and i tried to call it quits. 
We worked it out, but it hasnt been the same since. Now i feel hes much, much worse. 
His texts make no sense at all. The weirdest stuff sets him off. One minute he blames me for everything, says that i said all sorts of nasty things that i never did. His accounts of events are completely false. Accuses me of being emotionally abusive ect. When i suggested couples counseling he said he would not go because he didnt want anyone judging him. He tells me he cant deal with me being “tactless” and that every fight is my fault because of my tone, and tells me to get my stuff. 
I say fine, and then he does a 180, demands that i tell him something good about him, and tried to act like we are ok again. Plays the victim constantly. 

So heres my question- how do you talk someone into getting therapy without their possible BPD telling them it makes them a bad person? 
Because i want him to be happy and i dont think he can be without help.