I finally came to the realization that, this is just life. Depression is me, the shitty life is me and no amount of effort will change anything.   
It's true what they say, not everyone is supposed to live a normal life, not everyone is suppose to be happy. Some people are just destined to suffer and only to suffer without even a small piece of happiness.  
Now that i know i dont feel that bad anymore, i just accept it (or at least i am trying).