The  nice ones always lie, they try to please people and avoid confrontation. They "allow" things to happen. Oh it's not my fault I cheated, she persistently pursued me, what could I do? And it wasn't really "cheating"...

I hate them. 

I don't believe there are Real Men. I would like to meet one. And I don't know why people think this must be jockey alpha males. I mean guys who are thoughtful, sensitive and assertive. They will defend their boundaries and protect their family and close friends, but also compassionately help people. Community is as important as self and family. There's a fine line to that balance. I dont believe in "sacrifice" because it's losing a future important resource, sacrifice is propaganda. Being smart about helping others is important, you need to maintain your own health and integrity. Someone who will see both sides and realize the implications of their actions and consequences. Someone who's direct, honest and reliable. Someone who is not judgemental (or at least suspends judgement and looks for more data knowing they could be wrong). Someone who is easy to talk to, creative, and fun. Someone who is intelligent, empathetic and has a sense of humor. Someone who cares about the planet and beauty of the environment and wants to protect it for future generations to enjoy and thrive. Someone who expresses anger appropriately. Someone who is loyal and trustworthy. Someone who is curious and loves to explore and learn about people and things. Someone who is healthy. They don't have to be perfect.

I guess I want someone who's more like me, or how I want to live my own life. I get told frequently I have a several of those attributes for some reason. BPD or no. I may be an emotional being inside, not everyone knows this. And I'm working on improving myself constantly. If we look for people who mirror ourselves then my self image must be shite.

The only people I meet who have at least most of these characteristics tend to be women. I haven't met any women who could be more than just friends. 

I met someone once who was like a soulmate in a lot of ways, it didn't work out. I'm looking again, but no matter how deep I search I come up with a lot of dreck.