My significant other has a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. The past few months, I have noticed a huge change in his personality, he seems easily triggered, more insecure, and less likely to do things just around the house. It is jeopardizing our relationship. For example, one day a neighbor waved at me and he got upset wanting to know why that person was waving at me. He’s arguing more in front of our child and our child is picking up on it. I’ve been asking him to go get help and it within a day he’s just forgot in our conversation. I do not have borderline personality disorder and I know that it is challenging to live with, and I do not dismiss that whatsoever. But it’s affecting my life and my mental health significantly and I’m out of real loss of what else to say. He’s talking about proposing to me and to be frank I don’t know if I want to marry him while he’s not in this state of stability. I know that there will be bad days and that is fine but it feels like there are more bad days in a week than good. He spends a lot of time just hiding in our room and not spending time with the family and then it starts to cycle into some resentment on my part because sometimes he’ll just literally just take up and go upstairs and not even say OK I need to take a break can you watch our son? Or his mental health affects the state of our living space because he lives in a disarray. 

I don’t even know if I’m honestly wording this the best way and I mean no disrespect. I just need advice from others who have the diagnosis on how someone can approach you about the behavior and how it’s affecting their physical and mental state along with the romantic relationship without it looking like I’m blaming BPD.