I recently started a job spring of this year. Attendance has been terrible. I was on a 4 month leave after a hospitalization and received DBT therapy. The therapy was government funded via group zoom session. I didn't get much out of the leaders reading material off a screen  while clients struggled to talk over each other. My EI eventually ran out and therapy in my area just isn't available outside of work hours so I just stopped and went back to work. I was on gradual return but shortly after returning to F/T hours, I had another crisis- leaving me off for another week. 

Should I just apply for disability, remain unemployed, and actually get the help I need? Or am I falling into a cycle of self-sabatoge yet again? 

TLDR; I've been on multiple leaves following crisis- Ive exhausted EI. Should I just go on disability and actually heal before returning to the workforce?