I'm 14 and life has had a very bad start, these are some of the things that have happened to me that I'm nervous to tell my dad

MY mum almost died while having me (I was 6 weeks early and a C section birth)

My mums dad passed a few weeks before my birth.

I was rushed to hospital after the possibility of me almost dying from heat stroke at 2 years old

Broke my ankle bone at 4 years old and having to live with it for a couple of day

My grandma cannot remember my or any other family members or friends name because of dementia and has to be put in a home
 basically forgotten and already dead

I would listen to my parents fight and dad get kicked out of the house for hours when my mum got drunk(she rarely got drunk)

Got into fights and got jumped by people in y6 because of constant bullying.

Being bullied into trying to kill myself to end it, but I failed

Start y7 with being bullied and getting into fights.

Thought bout trying to kill myself again because of it, and I never tried it 

One of my best friends move somewhere else, he was the main person I talked to

I got jumped for no reason on the way to your mates house in year 8

My mum went through cancer but passed it, then got it again and had to be in a wheelchair on your 13th birthday while I cried for nights wanting to hold my mum 

When my mum had to be taken into a hospice and i couldn't visit for as long as i wanted

When I was told that my mum had a year left to live but only lives for less than a week

When my mum couldn't talk to me because of the pain numbing drugs

When her last words to me from her were I will miss you

When I was rushed to my aunts so my dad could comfort my mum while she passes
When I had to go into year 9 with depression and anxiety but I didn't show it and cried alone

When everything in life is against me

How I live with regret and want to harm so many because of how much they have messed me up but I don't for my dad's sake

While my dad has kidney stones and screams to die because of the pain for an hour and I stayed awake to make sure he's ok

Having the possibility that I could possibly lose my dad in surgery to remove lots of kidney stones in each kidney and fix four hernias in different surgeries

There is more that I cant remember but that's the most important stuff

Not talking about the time when I got mugged and another time I got jumped for running me mouth

If anyone out there can help with this because I have been struggling for years and it only seems to get worse as time passes. Absolutely any help would be so much to me.