I am living on my own, in a city (far from my family). I feel like I want to go back home with my family. I am not comfortable here anymore.

The only two close relationships I have here feel upsetting. I feel more alone than ever. I don’t feel understood by them. I feel like there’s a barrier between me and them. I feel like they are treating me different - like there is something wrong with me (ever since I told them about my recent BPD diagnosis and repressed memories of being sexually abused as a child). They are drifting and I can sense they want to leave because they finally see who I really am.

The one close friend I have uses me (for when she’s upset, but then fucks off when she’s happy and I need her) and my boyfriend seems extremely unhappy in our relationship. 

I feel like I should have went back to the town my family lives in. Even if my family is dysfunctional, it’s my dysfunction. It’s part of why I am so messed up. I don’t fit in with anybody who isn’t like them.  

I have been here for a few months, it’s my first time living alone. I thought I could handle being independent. I really wished that I could. 

I cannot handle the real world. I am so afraid of it. It feels too overwhelming for me.