Just wanted to see if there are any other caregivers out there struggling, whether it's for your parents or kids. 

I took care of a parent but I am now the mother of two severely autistic children. The younger is aggressive. 

I am just sitting on the couch crying because I took something he wasn't supposed to have, he chomped my arm..now there's a massive bruise and bite marks. We've been up since 3:30. It's like this a lot. Up at odd hours. I go to bed anxious because I never know how much sleep I'll get. 

The all day long screaming..the endless tantrums. He is 5 years old. I've been a parent for 8 years. I am just so tired of this life and wish I could escape. 

My husband and I live separate lives. We are isolated. For the first time in years, we had someone offer to help this weekend.. just 2 hours away and I felt human again. But, that'll be it. We are back to hell with school being the only reprieve from this waking nightmare this fall. If we want to spend any time together he has to miss work.

His family doesn't help or have anything to do with us because they're pieces of shit. His parents only have time for their daughter and their "normal" grandkids. 

I am trying to get Medicaid in my state through the children's waiver but so far it's been hours of Zoom calls and paperwork and there's only a few hundred slots for the state for behavioral and medical, it is always waitlisted. 

I don't want to die but I definitely don't want to live. Not like this. If I can't get this waiver, this is just my life unless the younger magically improves. I'm sick of my house. No friends. Hopeless future. Dead marriage. 

Everybody screams "respite!" I am trying to get it. For the love of God, people need to understand it is not just given out..not even if your child has severe behaviors. You are basically just left to deal with it and hope for the best. 

I wish every single day I could warp into my 25 year old body and have a single visit with my present self, so she could see just how horrible everything gets.