Lately it’s been easier to fall back into old habits, even though it seems like the climb back up isn’t as steep as what it used to be. Ive lived with my depression for as long as I can remember but I have never really gone out of my way to ask for help or “complain” about what’s bothering me, I never have. Partially because I’ve always been expected to be the strong one having everything under control, partially because I know nobody will give a shit since I’m supposed to have everything under control. I’m content in my solitude, unwilling to leave unless the “want” is strong enough. The comfortability of it all is what makes feel me so uneasy, but it’s a feeling that I don’t want to leave me alone as long as it means feeling something. At 28 still holding onto a dream that seems to get further and further away, it gets harder these days trying to find any type of motivation. The expectations, the letdowns, the subtle disappointments, they’re all just everyday occurrences now. Slipknot said it best in their new album: “I know it’s the same but I got to stay, because I Like It Here”. I like it here, where things are at least truthful and I don’t have to pretend.

Continuing each day, Hopeful and Alone.