Time is running out and it's getting scary both of my parents are in their 70's I failed at life in my early 20's I never could get a job I stopped caring. I had a nervous breakdown in my early 20's don't want to go into detail but it was a physical health condition that still effects me today. I was able to escape through gaming and movies for most of my live. The thought of my Mom dying scares the hell out of me I need to die before she does it's the most logical thing to do I don't want to live anymore time is flying fast and it's scary AF. My mothers health isn't good the day she dies I die but hopefully before I die before her. I just want out this nightmare fuck man this is the worst I got to die I need to die time is running out I need to get some courage and come up with a exit plan sooner than later.