I dont know how to be myself so i avoid everyone, or if I can't avoid them I feel like I act in a unnatural way.I am aware I dont want to be seen as cringe or out of the ordinary. I just want to be seen as  a cool or a normal guy but I dont understand how to react to things, in a sane manner, or have natural reactions idk what is considered normal and rational. Shout at someone in an argument or or say if i get in a minor car accident how am I supposed to react in situations like that? I dont know how to handle  situations. What am I supposed to say or do? 

I AM aware when im acting too weird but i become too aware, to the point, im conscious of every every action i make, how im sitting, standing, walking, the facial expressions i have on for any given situation, even thoughts I have. For example, my thoughts abruptly stop if i someone walks past me and i wasnt expecting it, my mind suddenly guards up and starts to think how im appearing to the other person, if im being normal in this passing interaction. 

These things become far too complex when theres human interactions added, I won't get into that part rn or it'd be too long to read.


Sorry if this all sounds jumbled, been stuck at home from depression for a year and forgot how humans function. But I've had these issues with identity since always, not to this extent but it was there. Is this a Bpd related? If not what could it possibly be?