I'm still 17, still in this hellhole of a home..still depressed.

But this time it's gotten worse. I feel unworthy of life, I've gotten back on my not-eating habits, I've even stopped acting like myself. I have a fine life I think (besides from home) I have a loving boyfriend, a couple friends that will stay there for me no matter what, and my other family whom I can talk to whenever I need help...but I still feel worse. I kinda just always look dead (literally0 nad I don't talk much anymore 9when I used to talk a lot).

I feel like I should help myself (no therapy please fuck that), but at the same time I know even though I'll keep getting worse, once I finally turn 18 I'll be much happier...so idk what anymore. Even my OCD has not been triggering as much anymore when it used to be worse than the depression which make it seem odd to me.

This is kinda a vent post kinda a need help post..whatever you call it.

Thanks for listening to my TED Talk.