things were awful. i found out things about him i can’t even comprehend. he’s bullied a girl online because he was bored with 10+ accounts and got her to attempt suicide, triggered someone’s eating disorder just for fun, talked about how he’s going to go get a mouse from the pet store so he can kill it and keep its bones (he wanted to crush it because it would be ‘satisfying’ but decided he should kill it with bleach or something so he can have the bones), went into detail about how he’s going to kill my ex FP, and so on. 

i’m at such a loss and i’m heartbroken. i was scared he’d hurt me next or something i don’t know anymore i fucking hate this. it feels like my leg was cut off, like i’m missing a part of myself. i miss him, the person i fell in love with and clinged to so hard. 

i’m proud of myself for finally leaving the relationship like i’ve been told for months but i don’t know how to deal with this