I am 23 years old. This coming Tuesday I start working. This will be an incredible experience for me. A start for independence and hopefully a way out of my toxic/abusive household and family. I've been in therapy for 5 years and even did medication for a few years in that time. I also plan to nose dive into DBT with my trauma therapist who has been awesome in my recovery so far. 

I have experienced childhood trauma/teenager trauma as well as sexual abuse in college. I recently ended a relationship with a loving yet mental unstable/toxic guy (recognized the warning sings early). I have some good friends, one of whom I have known since high school. I am also learning to establish clear boundaries with family and don't see them as "all bad". Just people trapped in a cycle of abuse doing the best they know how. I love them regardless, as I know they also love me. I had also graduated college back in May and plan to go onto graduate school in January. 

However, due to all the trauma I experienced I am fearful of experiencing rape (never have experienced), being robbed, work harassment, etc. Even if I take all the pre-cautions in the world, I can still experience a lot of pain. I am sure I will learn better coping mechanisms as I go through life, but I don't want to experience horrific trauma that could push me to suicide. I don't want suicide to be my only option obviously and I do want to keep doing better in my recovery. But, I have a lot of fear and anxiety and is unsure of how to deal with it. 

Anyone can relate?