I know the nhs is severely underfunded when it comes to mental health but I never knew how bad it was till I tried to get help from them for 6 months straight (in 2019), countless phone calls trying to get myself the help I need but in the end the whole experience made me feel like I’m not worth helping. It left me drained and the motivation to get help was worn down till I didn’t have any. 

The mental health providers/psychiatrists didn’t have an an ounce of compassion and didn’t completely take me seriously because I don’t present in a certain way probably because I’m quiet and reserved. I was once told there was nothing wrong with me because I hadn’t made any references to hearing voices. 

I had to see a private psychiatrist to get taken seriously to then see a nhs psychiatrist who diagnosed me with bpd traits (though I relate strongly to 6 out of the 9 symptoms), anxiety and depression. He kept putting me on anti depressants but they didn’t work, didn’t offer me therapy, I was on a waiting list for CBT from healthy minds, the psychiatrist told me to lie and say I wasn’t under that mental health centre but healthy minds said they couldn’t meet my needs and they’d call the centre to ask them to offer therapy which they didn’t, said they haven’t got the capacity to or something.

Months ago they discharged me without helping me because I wouldn’t take any more anti depressants because they don’t work and the side effects are hell. They just offered changes which I don’t see helping, maybe if I was getting therapy I’d also do the changes group but not on it’s own when I need one to one first. 

I haven’t spoken to my GP for a while, not sure if there’s anything he can do. It was the third time he referred me to that horrid centre, like I said third time they accepted because I’d seen a private psychiatrist but now they’ve discharged me. It feels like there’s no nhs services for mental illness, just mental health/wellbeing. 

My only option is private therapy which luckily with my savings I can afford it but not happy about dipping into my savings. But the whole experience has made me hate mental health providers and not trust them. So the nhs mental health system has actually set me back in getting help. 

Also my orthodontist cares more than any mental health provider, how crazy is that? I opened up to him a bit when I was desperate to see if he knew anyone in the mental health sector, he wrote a letter to see if my surgeon did but nothing happened because the surgeon was retiring. I had years of orthodontic treatment then jaw surgery which after made various symptoms flare up. I’m discharged now, kinda sad I’ll never see him again but I could tell my orthodontist was concerned and cared though obviously not much he could do. He said he’s sent a letter to my GP but I doubt it’ll help.