hi i’m 14 and i’ve been struggling w depression since i was 11. it wasn’t nearly as bad as it is now though. it all got worse after my mom unexpectedly died when i was 12. i started 7th grade not even a month later. it was hard but i hadn’t picked up any unhealthy coping mechanisms. then 13 hit. i started going down a self destructive spiral but still, it wasn’t THAT bad. then 8th grade comes and let me tell you it was hell. i had been in a relationship and as silly as it sounds i really did love and care about this guy. we broke up and still acted as if we were in a relationship. but he was constantly playing mind games with me, lying, manipulating, etc. i get that guys my age haven’t matured and i shouldn’t have expected much from him but we both matured faster than majority of
people our age. he broke me. he took something from me. my bad habits got worse. i relied on substances and sh. it’s not that i didn’t want to be normal but the pain was sort of comforting. so fast forward now and i’m gonna be a freshman soon. i’ve been in one of the worst depressive episodes. my best friend moved away and she was the only person i trusted. we still talk but it’s not the same. i miss her. i miss my mom. i miss the old him. i keep bothering everyone and idk what to do. i barely leave my room and i don’t talk to anyone. i just don’t mesh w anyone anymore. i’ve contemplated att3mpting too many times. i don’t want to deal with the same thing everyday anymore. i’m trying. but it’s so hard. i know other people have it worse but i just needed to let it out. if you’ve actually read this then that’s surprising but thank you