i literally see no end in sight of this battle with mental health. i have so much going on in my head that i can hardly fucking type this. i don’t know who i am. i’m disassociating so fucking much lately and i literally think i’m losing my mind. i feel so much emotion but at the same time i feel.... nothing? like i cannot cry or express any emotions but i feel such intense emotion. i got rejected yesterday and i’ve been in an absolute spiral between being really upset about it and then my superiority complex kicks in and i’m like “fuck it.” like theres deadass so much wrong with me and i just FEEL crazy??? 

the best way to describe it is i guess i only feel in “extremes.” i’ll feel really good, then really bad. i either put full effort into things, or none at all. i cant seem to find that middle ground. 

just feeling really lost and isolated because of these struggles. i don’t know what else to do.