I don’t want to be insensitive to anyone who actually has been diagnosed with BPD, as I’ve never been diagnosed, but I STRONGLY identify with the 7 symptoms. I think it’s worth noting that I don’t have any significant early childhood trauma or experiences of neglect/mistrust of any adults in my life, as I know that’s very characteristic of individuals with BPD. My parents are still together after 30 something years of marriage and I perceive them to have a very healthy relationship, despite their challenges and differences. 

My therapist who I’ve been seeing since 2020 is a licensed MFT. I began seeing her after exiting a really painful relationship that only actually lasted about 8 months, but dragged on for several months later. He was pretty awful to me, but my partner before that who I was with for 5 years was pretty awful as well. That’s not to say I wasn’t totally toxic in those relationships too. In hindsight now it seems like I was self destructing in both. 

I initially started seeing her because when my mental health took a dive after the break up in 2020, I started seeing BPD pop up a lot. Took a few quizzes online and I really really started to convince myself there was a chance this could’ve explained my feelings for most of my adulthood. When I brought it up to her, she said she didn’t think I had it. She told me most people with BPD couldn’t have stable friendships or relationships and it would be difficult for them to hold a job because of the challenges it imposed. 

So I guess my question for people who have actually received a diagnosis is: do you think this is true? I can’t bring myself to believe that it is. After weekly therapy for two years now I’ve made so much growth and am even in a relationship with someone who I think is really healthy for me— but still find myself struggling with a lot of the same things, but mostly only in my romantic relationships. 

Fear of abandonment, CHECK. 

My self-image is just so shakey. From the way I dress to the way I decorate my home to the hobbies I have. Sometimes I have no clue who the heck I am. I mean seriously. I’ve always been a deep thinker but I am CONSTANTLY living in fear and anxiety of what others are thinking of me. Like DEEP fear. I’m in my late 20s and I feel like I shouldn’t be feeling this way still. In therapy I’ve tried to worlk on my self esteem but I just don’t know if it’s normal to feel like this. 

Idk sometimes I just wonder if I’ll ever feel normal or feel like I fit in or if I’m hitting the appropriate milestones for my age. I feel so behind. 

I’ve never self harmed, don’t engage is risky behaviors. Embarrassed to say that there was a time where I felt so desperate for my ex partners attention that I threatened to harm myself. But I was also very young and I recognize now how wrong that is, and wouldn’t do that now. I guess I’m reckless with my spending. But not to the point where I’m in crazy debt. 


I do feel insecure in my current relationship but I think it’s because I’m insecure in myself. And insecure my bf will leave me. Abandonment. 

I’ve also heard about “splitting” and “favorite person” which I strongly identify with. 

Can anyone with a BPD diagnosis relate? Or is what I’m experiencing just part of being a human. ?