Earlier this year I started to get depressed and eventually suicidal seemingly out of nowhere. The only things that kept me happy were music and any online friend I could cling onto. I started staying up all night and being sleep deprived almost 24/7, except on the weekends when I would stay up at the nighttime and sleep during the day, just so I could have some peace and maybe reach my online crush. Pathetic, right?

For some reason I miss those days. Feeling like shit, but being comforted. I have better support nowadays but I miss feeling hopeless and just giving up. The prospect of it all being pointless and I'm fucked felt freeing. I didn't have to worry. Just put on my playlist, open Discord, and ... I don't even remember my sleep schedule in the weekends..

Weird story but there it is