So basicly I am 26 year old guy with no college degree, I live with my parents in small town in Croatia, I'm unemployed basicly only have one friend that I havent seen for 2 weeks because nothing in life is happening and I have nothing to say so I'm shit company usually work as a pizza chef during summer seasons. 5 months prior I had a manic episode since I'm diagnosed with bipolar because of taking drugs (3rd) time and missed my brother wedding, did Facebook rampage(masseged everyone (almost) I knew with some crazy shit., Ive spent last 2 months just lying in my bed all day and going down to eat and back to bed. My life has absolutely no dirrection everyone in my towm thinks I'm abosultely crazy, I can't walk down the street because of the shame I have no where to go nor with whom. I absolutely don't see myself at living in this town no more but can't stand to leave my mother once again because she would be terrified that I would go full manic again. I don't know even where I am going with this post I just felt the need to tell sum1, I feel terribly sorry for my parents because I'm in house all day they ve put al they energy and resources and patience in me and still I'm useless don't have, the only thing preventing me from suicide is that I would make them feel even worse,