I’m here to ask for advice. I was doing so well before this person came walking right into my life 3 months ago. 
He sees no future with me he’s made that clear with his actions however I’m completely infatuated with him. 
The only thing we have in common is sexual chemistry… we don’t really see eye to eye on most other topics. 
Anyways I have become a fool. I should probably go out and buy some clown makeup.
I lied last night said that my friends were over… got drunk by myself and waiting for him to come over at 3am. Even typing this makes me cringe so hard it gives me nausea. 
He doesn’t make any future plans with me and doesn’t invite me out with his friends anymore but when he’s with me he goes on and on about how beautiful I am and asks to take pictures of us etc… 
I haven’t felt addicted to someone like this in at least 5 years. I rarely get like this over someone so now I feel very lost, confused and scared. 
I’ve been binge drinking on weekends, misusing my medication, making impulsive decisions like spending lots of money maxing out my credit card, binge eating or not eating at all and I just can’t seem to stop. 
Even though I’ve accomplished a lot in the recent years I don’t even know my self worth anymore or how to even get it back. I feel really gross :(

Long story short: I let a guy treat me like shit even though it hurts me. Why do I do this and how can I stop asap before I hurt myself more? 

**please be kind xox