has anyone ever had a long lasting friendship? cause i haven’t. i’ve been moving around a lot in life (not houses, but places like work, school, college etc.) so i’ve met a lot of people and i’ve made a lot of “friends” but this friends, i either never let them get close enough or i did, and we bonded, i got comfortable, trusted them, loved them and things seem so nice for months and then something happens and they cut me off or, usually, i cut them off, and before i was diagnosed i used to tell myself “well nothing last forever” or “they were a bitch so whatever” but after i read the “symptoms” when i was diagnosed it was like everything clicked in my head and all i did could say was “so thats why…” 

it has happen one too many times and now everytime im making a new friend i feel the need to apologize in advance for whatever is gonna happen that will ruin our friendship. 

it has driven me into a point where im scared of meeting new people and getting attached to them cause i know it wont last.