My partner has told me what I feel w love in previous dissertation with them. I feel like I'm feeling the emotion of love but others tell me a different story, they say that I say I love them but I don't act like it because I fluctuate between idealization and then devaluation. Whatever this feeling of "true love" is I guess I won't ever be able to feel fully or at all. Whatever my partner feels is truly love, I don't know if I can ever truly love someone and that realization makes me feel hollow.