Technology related issue that made me lose a good amount of stuff on my phone caused me to have a gigantic panic attack. I hit myself in the head when I get stressed these days and I hit myself a ton really hard. I even hit myself with a glass bottle (A small San Pellegrino bottle to be more specific, if it matters) slightly but stopped after hitting myself one time. I have lumps all over my head now. I hope I didn't cause anything serious.

My dad doesn't know what to do when this happens. I don't know what to do when this happens. It's happened for almost 10 years and none of the pills I've been given have helped. So much time wasted and my mom never lived to see me somewhat improve.

This year has been the worst of my life. I've had everything that kept me somewhat stable taken away from me. I just don't know what to do. Every day I wake up either depressed, anxious, or both. I miss my mom.