I'm trying to seek help but where I live in England there's almost non, especially with personality disorders.  As of late I've been more emotionally disregulated than I've ever been due to guilt, loss and loneliness.  The anger I feel inside is so overwhelming at times , I have to lock myself in the bathroom or find somewhere away from the world to explode , I rip my hair out , hit and slap myself in the head , punch walls and lastly cry, I'm scared of myself at this point .  I pull myself together , take a few deep breaths and go back about my day with intense depression and suicidality . The anger is by far the scariest thing about this disorder , the horrible intrusive thoughts I get regarding the people that have left me , wanting them to suffer like I have ... but at the end of it all I know I'm responsible for the loss I've caused myself , atleast  partially and that's what makes me feel worse . Until I can afford or find some form of professional help , how do you guys control the rage aspect of bpd?  thanks .