Not sure what I am anymore to be honest. I constantly feel like shit and I don't know how to interact with people outside of work. 

I'm slowly withering away. I'm tired all the time and cant  even clean my apartment. Because of the way I am I think slowly but surely people will go away and I am going to end up all alone. I'm feeling extremely lonely. The worst thing is that i'm digging my own grave.
I am talking to therapist since two weeks and it helps a little bit but only for a day or two.

I tried to fill my emptiness with forcing myself to study. I thought that way I am at least productive. 


Recently I started talking to my ex again only as a friend and she was really a only person I could have countless talking topics with but I don't even feel like talking to her. I won't tell her how I am right now because she is also going through mental health problems and she blames herself because of our messy breakup. 

All my mental issues started after the breakup and I am unable to fix myself. I never felt so hopeless before. It's christmas and I am going to be forced to interact with my family. I don't have strenght to do it.... Fuck me.

If you read through my entire post, thank you and hope you are doing better than me.