I just cut myself in the forearm. Second time in my life. Been going through a tough time. Had an abortion less than a month ago. Had used condoms. Still. Eight days of pain and nausea because of the abortion pills. I stopped going to office. Been on unpaid leave. I always thought I could get back with my ex. Now he has cancer and wouldn't marry me for martyr reasons. I am crushed. I am so lonely and broken and just wanna be left alone. My friends are calling me. I can't go. I wanna be alone. I wanna scream. It hurts so much. I took an impulsive vacation last week. Spent a shit load of money at the beach. I was manic. Then I felt a bit better. Now I am back and UT hurts. It hurts all the time.