I wake up in the morning with this horrible paralysing feeling in my body, I have for years, lying down after work my body goes into a rush and I have to get up. Work has become a mental battle just for me to stay and not leave early so I can drive and listen to music freely. I can't be late to anything without a panic, I always arrive much to early in fear of missing out.

It's tearing apart my relationship, I have no trust, no grounds not to trust, my mind screams through situations and it's a matter of when, not why which will already be answered for. 

I have no joy left in what I once loved, I just want to fall on the couch and sleep only to woke upto the gripping hold of anxiety. 

I see no end, my body won't give in and I can't either.