I started work for the first time yesterday and I had to put on a red polo or jumper as it was the uniform. I’m overweight and they didn’t have my size so I just had to suck it up and wear it. It was so tight on me and my rolls were showing. I know people were making fun of me, not directly but I do hear whispers and I know what people think of me. I felt so disgusted of myself and embarrassed to face the customers. I always had this experience growing up fat but yesterday was big because there was a lot of people my age working too, I felt like a black sheep. 

Everything is just overwhelming and exhausting. I hate myself so much, I try to lose weight, exercise, anything I can do to be skinny but it just results in me eating unhealthily. For example last year I just ate oatmeal for breakfast lunch and dinner. I just hate being in this body and hopefully one day I won’t be in this body soon.