Okay so I’m 24f and my spouse is 23f. She has been wanting to do drag for a while, and we’ve recently become friends with some local queens who are helping her with this. 
My problem- my bpd feels like it’s ruining me. I have such a fear of her finding someone else-especially at one of these shows where it’s inherently sexual. I can’t deal with the idea of people looking at her the way I do, and the idea of people touching her the way I’ve seen them do at shows. I want to support her so badly all I want is for her to live her dreams and be happy but I feel like I’m holding her back because of my bpd. She says it’s okay and we can always wait to see if it gets easier for me, but I feel like such a guilty partner. What do I even do? I don’t know how to combat all these intrusive thoughts and I know she’ll never leave me over it, but I never want to be the one holding her back.