Don't know how to quite put it into words. But I feel like I can't make decisions. Like... Things just happen to me. People come and go. And I can influence it, but can't be the one who does anything or initiate anything. 

&amp;#x200B;

For example, if someone is toxic for me and I want to get away, I can't be the one to cut them off. I always drive them away and force them to cut me off. I can't ever block someone and keep them blocked. Even if I know that keeping in touch is harming me (I feel this also ties into emotional self-harm for me, because I feel like I deserve it.)

&amp;#x200B;

Is this a BPD thing? Anyone found a way to get over or manage this?