I know I need to go see a therapist so badly. 
But I also know there’s a strong chance they won’t believe anything say or might invalidate my feelings. 
And that terrifies me. I’m too afraid to look at therapists or call for help or even try because I’m too afraid of rejection. 
But I know I’ll die if I don’t get help but right now I’m stuck in this vicious cycle of “i need to get help but I’m terrified to do so”