i’m not okay. like seriously wtf is wrong with me? i need help. i take meds i go to therapy i’m working on self improvement. i’m like. i’m literally crazy. i feel. i can’t even think straight. i have been having so much anxiety. every night i want to sh. i am 11 days sober from it. or at least i was. but then i cut tonight. i want to kill myself.  i feel like i’m dying. i struggle to breathe all day and sometimes it gets worse to where i feel like i’m suffocating. and i imagine weird things when i close my eyes. and i’ve been dissociating so much. and i even started fainting?? and idk what else i can’t think. but it’s all worsened in the past few weeks. idk how much longer i can take it. i’m scared. and i don’t like it. and it’s ruining my relationship. fucking hate myself. i hate how i feel. i’m dying. i’m so sad i cry for hours. awful