Back in May, she told me she had a serious health issue and hoped to return after 2-3 months. I wished her well and unfortunately it's nearly February. She had told the office she planned on coming back recently but wound up making the choice to retire. I can't imagine how bad the health problem became in order to have to make that choice. I feel so bad for her. Then it occurred to me that i feel really sad. I was with her for so long and i never got to say goodbye. I was with a different therapist after she went on leave but that person was wildly unprofessional and i chose to stop sessions to wait for my usual therapist to come back. I'm on the list for someone else now and it feels so strange. I HATE the intake process, i hate answering all the questions i just wrote answers for on the forms, i hate having to tell them about every type of abuse i have suffered. 

Realistically, this was going to happen anyway, nobody has the same therapist during their lifetime. I just didn't think it would be so soon and she was with me through all of my hospitalizations and so many other awful things. I'll miss her and i wish there were a way to tell her how great she is and how much of her advice i carry with me.