why can’t i believe it when he says he loves me ? why am i overthinking everything he says, believing there’s a hidden message behind it ?? why am i so afraid of being abandoned that i distance myself whenever i feel slightly sad/mad. why do i try to find reasons to leave him so i won’t be sad when he leaves me ?? why do i try to emotionally detach myself as i’m in the relationship ??? i don’t feel like living anymore i feel like i’m never going to have a healthy relationship because it’s my fault i fucking hate myself why can’t i stop feeling like this why why why what’s wrong with me he’s so patient and so kind and understanding but i can’t stop being sensitive to anything he says for one fucking day 