currently going through a really bad break up from a long term relationship that i ruined bc of my bpd. How am i supposed to ever recover when i know i ruined something that couldve been great and had so much potential.  When it was over something i feel i have no control over. especially when he’s tired of my weak mental health and doesn’t even want to wait for me to make progress because I have just literally sucked all the patience out of him. It makes me feel like i have no point in recovering anymore. It hurts so intensely... i have no idea how to cope he was everything to me but at the same time i feel like can’t blame him. The worst part is i feel like i will always ruin every relationship i have. it’s so helpless.