I'm (F 23) in a 3year relationship with my partner (M 22) who's dealing with schizophrenia. 3 days ago he was having an episode and some conversation between us went bad, he started getting paranoid that I'm planning something against him and that everyone, including me, take pleasure in hurting him. I tried to convince him otherwise but it got even worse. He said I'm scheming something and he'd do anything to stop it.
He started shouting on me, saying many many hurtful things, and in the end called me dumb and stupid. (Also, in the field of academia he's a gifted person and I'm just a normal average person).
That is now making me feel insecure (which I never felt before though) that I'm not suitable for him and I should probably leave but he's sorry about it. He says he never meant it.
Given my history of verbal, physical and sexual abuse, such words coming from him are making me cry non stop. I'm getting panick attacks. Not able to eat or sleep and even stopped taking my antidepressant dose. These breakdowns are suffocating me.

I really love him. And he's always been extremely supportive and loving. In our 3 years of relationship this happened for the second time and it was worse that before. I feel like I'm not good for him and I should leave.  But it's also hurting to see him dealing with his schizophrenia all alone and I'd never want to leave. He has helped me a lot to deal with my BPD and PTSD. I want to forget this recent incident but his words are echoing all inside me. I feel very broken and worthless. I don't know what to do.