i want to try acting, something i never did in school, opting for sports, but when i just imagine it, i can see myself feeling too much, and getting hurt by literally fictional interactions.  i feel like i have potential to be good at something (like voice acting, altho its going to be more difficult because im trans-female, and i haven't even tried to make my voice sound feminine yet, so basically im just dreaming) because of my emotional depth, but its so give-or-take whether ill feel like i have control over emotions, that i sabotage my own chances.      


its like that tweet about "once i get all this mental illness stuff figured out, its over for you all" type of feeling.  or BPD being like living life on expert mode.     


in other words i feel like id be really good at method acting, but i dont think i could handle it so id also be no good at it at all.