Hi, I don't know what to call what I'm experiencing but I would like some comfort. 
Last year I had a fwb relationship (he ended up being my fp) for a couple of months that ended really badly. I (with consent) towards the end of the relationship did some sexual things with him that now makes me feel really dirty and disgusting. Basically, I was fetishized but to a really awful degree. I feel like I just let this happen to me because I liked him at the time and I wanted to please him. Now when I'm in public (i.e Septa) if I see like any white young male that resembles him I'll freak out and go the other way. I have a really loving boyfriend now and we've talked about this before but the other night he brought it up in passing and I freaked out and couldn't even form words. I've only told a couple of people the extent to what happened. Maybe it isn't a big deal but if it isn't then I don't know why I'm having so much anxiety over this a year after it all started.