I am currently suffering from major depression, with severe somatization disorder. I can't organize my words clearly. Maybe some of the words don't make sense, and maybe no one wants to read them. But I still want to talk about it, these things that have been weighing on my mind for many years. 

Since the onset of the disease, all these things have come to my mind and I can't take it anymore. I always wanted to know the answer. I also want to know if I'm still myself after all these years.