Hi all, I haven't been diagnosed but I have a sneaking suspicion that I have BPD. I'm going to talk to a therapist about this but how do you guys handle the drastic black and white feelings/viewpoints of the people you love?

It's like overall I had a great time with this person.  They're my friend.  But one little trigger of a bad experience and all of the sudden I don't want to be this person's friend.  They're a bad person.  Hold up was I gaslit the whole time?  Am I being used? Then I spiral into thinking if I should even be friends with this person, if I should move on, etc.

In the end, when I'm feeling "good" again, I'll put on my rose tinted glasses and everything is good.  I love them, I miss them, they're the best.

I can't even trust myself when I make friends.  The ones who hang around, I feel like they don't have good intentions.  Why don't they just leave me like some of my "cooler" friends?  No gratitude at all.

Even family - sometimes I wonder if my mom's a narcissist. Other times, she's literally the only person who will care this much about me so I should be grateful. Sometimes I wish I had a better mom.  Other times this is who she is and I should just accept her and work around her.  

I keep bouncing between friend groups and family.  One group of friends are the best.  As soon as things go sour, I devote all my attention to another group of friends and vow to leave the first one.  As soon as that group goes sour I go to my family. Then I repeat with the same group of friends/new group of friends.