i know it’s not that serious but...maybe it is? has anyone else experienced this? 

I’ve been consistently high for the past week, i mean like consistently. i wake up in the morning, get high. i work a 9-5 job and I’ve been using my dosist weed pen during the work day day when i go for walks and i come back high. i go home and immediately smoke enough weed to make me so high i feel incredibly happy and tingly and literally nothing else. 

at first i started smoking a lot again (i’ve been casually smoking for years) because it helped a lot with the BPD-related anxiety but now it feels like i can’t stop, like i want to be high all the time

another worrisome thing thing is that I’ve been really wanting to try heroin lately. like for the past few months i’ve been really really wanting to. i won’t because i know it’s horrible and so addictive but I’ve been really curious about it. i honestly feel like I’d do anything to be happy without having to constantly try as hard as i do to be happy at this point.