im a horrible person and i cant live with myself because of it. i hurt everyone around me so deeply and i cant stop. i lie, i cheat, im toxic, i betray anyone and everyone that has ever loved me and i don’t know why. i have done so many disgusting things in my life that haunt me and i genuinely cant take it anymore. i am, and have always been the problem. i keep trying to excuse my behaviours because i have BPD , but having this illness is just an explanation not an excuse. i genuinely think i would be better off cutting off everyone in my life and never form an attachment with anyone ever again because im a manipulative horrible person and nobody deserves to be disrespected the way i have people in my life. i cant take it anymore.