its kinda ironic really because later in the day I was talking with a friend that I'm finally comfortable with my sexuality like no doubts I'm who I'm not because abuse or the fact that I have so little interaction with woman because of my fear of abandonment and touch 🤪 

but then my mom finds out that my sister (13yo) is bisexual and she found out reading conversation of her and a girl and now everything is chaos she keeps saying that she doesn't know what she have done to deserves two like us and she says a lot homophobic shit to my sister and hurts me a lot so I decided to talk with her and she keeps saying that I'm like this because my abuse that she is still hope that one day I'll make her proud but my sister doesn't have excuses for being like this and if I try to get in the middle and "influence" her she I'll cut out my interaction with my sister 

I had to say that I was almost getting a girlfriend (a lie) because she keeps bring up the abuse and the thing is I had a hard time to come the conclusion that I'm lesbian not because of what I pass because my therapist ask the question about abuse and my dad (who's amazing btw also question that and I had to say that I already had dating - also I lie -) 

anyway I'm felling so awful because not only she remember me what happened she also brings up something that I was finally getting over idk I'm just sad she said she loves us but dont want to be part of That Life that she doesnt want to know any girlfriend and she prefers that I leave home and then be who am I not on her watch

I know it could be worse but I still feel bad