I've been on a long road of healing and just feel overall great.
Something happened recently where I've just kinda showed it away, just convincing myself it's not worth it. After such a huge negative life event, I tried to jump back into my normal moods and routine. 
Today though was different, it was mentally exhausting due to long meetings and feeling like I can't get my space. Tonight I lay here and just think about all these things and feel all of these feelings as if I never healed. I'm just having a hard time, and im not sure why I am even typing this. Perhaps because I feel so alone right now, maybe today's stresses and exhaustion just opened the flood gates. 

Im not sure, I just want to go back to being apathetic because I don't want to deal with this shit at 2am.