I've been suicidal and having depressive episodes most of the time since my childhood i also tried to hang myself few times. Theres no trauma I've gone through as i remember, or as my family told me. I fell off the bed few times onto my forehead when i was baby but doctor said there's nothing important. 

My depressive episodes are reduced but I'm still suicidal and sometimes making plains about how can i kill myself and im not afraid of dying at anytime.

I also sometimes having episodes of forgetting everything about my past life and feel like all people i know (family, friends etc.) being manipulated/payed to be in touch with me (like there's a special condition about me that everyone knows except me) and i feel insecure everywhere except in my house.

I went few therapist by my mother's force and told all of them about it but they didn't diagnosed me anything. I also made few research about it but couldn't find anything on internet so i wanted to type here, hope anyone can help.