I suffered a flashback and general mood downswing (same old) about an hour ago and now I don't recognise the sense of humour, my face, my voice and everything about me in the video. I find it strange and embarrassing, like I'm watching a girl I'd avoid in public because she's weird and cringy. But when I watched it just after recording it, I found myself charming and witty, and the friend I sent it to found it hilarious, which felt really validating.

This is depersonalisation, perhaps? It fucking sucks. This isn't the first time this has happened. I freak myself out so much. 