So the last 2 years i have been in a very important relationship, with my now ex girlfriend. i have experienced alot of the symptoms of this disorder and honestly would like to go to the doctor as soon as this pandemic is over and see whats going on with me. it has only just occured to me that a personality disorder may be that. so basically it seems to me that my girlfriend has left me because she could not live with me having all of the problems i do, and also that i have probably changed alot from the person that she loved into a completely different person. at the start of our relationship i dressed very differently, i listened to diffferent music, i wanted to play instruments and be in a band. half way through our relationship my music taste changed, i developed an addiction to anti anxiety meds, i began dressing very differently, i died my hair, i got tattoos. i decided i wanted to be a "model". my music taste changed dramatically. then the next weird phase happened. i again started listening to different music, changing the way i dressed, had a whole different idea for what i wanted to do with my life, i was going to be a "rapper" now. i then again had another shift in personality. began listening to different music, dressing different again, started skateboarding more. just weird. i seem to obsess over certain things and make that entire thing my personality and then somehow figure i'm going to make a career out of it. right now there is nothing i'm just in an empty void, i dont listen to music anymore, nothing interests me, i just want my relationship back. i have had really bad problems with alcoholism and drug abuse since the age of 12. i am one month sober from alcohol and benzodiazipines today on the 24th. i also made the mistake of threatening suicide when she tried to leave, i dont know if the real me would actually do that, i seem to think it was my benzo induced behaviour but i dont know. i do know that i do want to commit suicide. i'm basically just waiting untill i know its all 100% over to do so. i dont know whats me, whats an interest, what i actually like. i dont know shit anymore, i just know i want a purpose and a career and to be happy and for someone to be proud. sorry if i've just said a load of shit and it isn't relevant to this sub. i'm just trying to make sense of my behaviour and began considering maybe this is whats going on when i saw that i matched alot of symptoms. i dont know if this is just me growing up, and going through phases, but they seem to happen very quickly like i'm one person with one goal in january, then in february i'm completely different again and have different "goals" which are always extremely unrealistic and far fetched.

TLDR; i constantly change my behaviour, interests, way i dress and career goal every month or two? does this sound concerning to you or am i just a teenager?