TL;DR: I have crippling email anxiety. I hate just the process of logging in to check on things, let along reading new emails. I have 2FA enabled, but that adds a new facet to the anxiety because of hacking fears. I know this is irrational and it’s ruining my state of mind. 

So I hate that emails are basically a necessity in modern day life. I don’t even use mine for any serious or financial matters (just my socials), but the fact they exist and could hypothetically be compromised without me knowing just gets to me sometimes? 

Which is frustrating because I’m also glad they exist, because they let me have my socials which I enjoy using? 

I make it a habit to check my email addresses at least a few times a month (any more than that and I get unbelievably paranoid/feel sick to my stomach, something else I want to overcome because I’m pretty sure even most people on here aren’t anxious about LOGGING IN to their emails, just checking them/reading new ones). 

I’ve been getting the verification codes like normal and only when prompted like they’re supposed to be, but I still think in the back of my head ‘wait what if it’s a hacker?’ 
Even though if it was, they’d likely send the ‘verification texts’ randomly right? 

Had an incident just the other day where I got a code from a random number when logging into one of my addresses. I got scared because as far as I could remember it never displayed a number before, just ‘Verify’ or something like that. 
Backed up and tried it again, same thing. Inputted the code and it worked, so that means it’s official. 
I did it a third time before just to be safe, same result. I don’t know why it freaked me out, but my anxiety’s probably going to be spiked for a while now. Looking back I think it almost gave me a panic attack (not sure though, just felt like it in hindsight). 

It’s incredibly frustrating, bluntly it makes me feel like an over sensitive paranoid idiot. The wonders of anxiety, amirite? 

I think the reason is I have an overwhelming fear of being hacked. I always have; it’s what stopped me from making any kind of email address for ages (my current two are only a couple years old). Even though this is kind of irrational to begin with, since if anything happened I’d be notified by my 2FA I have set up on both addresses. 

Like, if anything my accounts are more secure than most because most people don’t think it’s that big a deal if you have 2FA or not, right? 

All it would take if someone did try to get in is to log in and change my passwords, it’s not like it would even be that difficult! 
And I’m just an everyday person. There’d be no reason for any would-be hackers to get into my stuff anyway, I don’t have anything worth stealing since I don’t even have any financial stuff linked to either of them! 

So yeah I’m in a bad way over this stuff. 
It’s not helping me at all, and it’s been damaging my ability to check up on my emails consistently (Also for security reasons, that’s mainly just to ease my mind about the hacking fear thing to be honest). 
The incident from the other day has made me doubt checking my other address soon, even though everything was legit (there weren’t even any updates in the security section of my address when I checked either, and I even refreshed repeatedly and still nothing!) 
Even thinking about it right now is making me feel bad! 

I’d really appreciate some reassurance I’m not going mad on this. Thanks, hope you all have a wonderful day/evening and thanks for reading :)