The pain of losing my ex partner to a break up has become the most painful thing in the world. 

I lost my mother at 19 to cancer and this is harder.
Mum will never come back, but my ex is out there living her life without me. 

She said some truly mean and nasty things about my character and apparently what I'm doing right now.  
Not only is it not true but it's made me second guess everything I know about myself. 

I hate it. 

I love her but she has crushed my spirits and has made my depression return and my anxiety is on 100. 

And on top of that she's kicked me out which means I needed to seek Anglicare (assistance with housing and emotional support) they've put me up in a quaint and cute hotel room for 5 nights (til Monday coming). 

But I feel hopefully and pathetic. 

My mind doesn't want me to think positive and the suicidal thoughts are there, more present than ever. 

I'm not sure how I can cope with this. 

My medication I've been on for 18 months is actually helping but it's not enough. 

Anyway if anyone reads this and wants to talk about my problems or theirs I'd love to chat! 

Take care