First my therapist lost her sister about a week ago. Then three nights ago my BFF’s father died of corona. And the night before last someone’s kitty fell from the 6th story window and I comforted him while he passed. (I just moved into the apartment on the first.) then I witnessed his human’s devastation when animal control brought her out.

I don’t think people know what to say or just flat out don’t care because I posted the cat situation to my private Instagram and only friends I have on discord responded to it. And yeah, I know not everyone reads the stories they thumb through, but there were 15+ people.

I feel selfish for making it all about me but the better part of me realizes I’ve experienced three events of various severity and I need support. I still talk to my therapist on mondays and fridays over the computer so I’m looking forward to that at least but I’m just so numb. I haven’t cried yet, just known I should and have nothing come out when I “allow myself.”

I’m just tired of waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’ve been fighting the sinking doom feeling but it didn’t start getting better until I allowed myself to feel the fear. I’ve been trying to decorate my new place and distract myself but I’m just so on edge and I need attention.