There's honestly no real point to writing this, but I just feel so utterly alone. I have friends, but don't feel any connection to them. I don't trust anyone in my life apart from my therapist and psychiatrist enough to talk about painful things. I know that's more support than many have, but because of money I can just afford to have a really short check in appointment - so never really get to talk about anything deeper than my actual daily activities. 

I live with a constant feeling of dread. Even when there is nothing bad around me, when I have a few days with no commitments, when I actually have something to look forward to. I'm nowhere near the deepest depressions I've experienced, but at best just numb and anxious. 

I want to give up. I just want to go to sleep.