hi everyone i feel terrible. i was really emotional bone day because i felt like my boyfriend was using me for sex and i told his best friend when my feelings were overwhelming me that "i wished he would die" and then right after i said it i said "i dont mean that i just am very emotional right now." is this unforgivable for me to say? i feel awful. i apologized but i dont know if it is enough. is this unforgivable?