This is my first post, so sorry if it breaks Reddit law and order. I'm always on the brink of motivation and changing my situation, while the other side always strikes me with the same line "What's the point?". I genuinely can't think of one. Bettering myself for the long run is a reason for sure, but I could just kill myself right now and could just speedrun it, it's all so frustrating. I have goals and talents, but every time I strive for it, I get hit with that line "What's the point?"  


I've grown so apathetic and indifferent to death, I use to always say that I would hold out for my friends and family, then it turned to holding out only for my family, and now I'm really grasping at life saving straws lmao.