I always do stupid shit during a low, because I'm DESPERATE for a distraction away from suicidal thoughts, and I just want to feel needed. This usually involves sex with people I don't want to have sex with, and I just dissociate throughout the entire thing. And then I feel utter disgust and regret. I'm easily coerced into having sex because my mindset is "nothing matters" when I'm in a low and I have poor boundaries. And it sucks to know that I did this all to myself.