Hi? Hello. So uhh... I'm not so sure how reddit works. Never really "posted" anything regarding this. Or posted anything really, so bear with me. Before I go on, hi. My name is Far (if you couldn't tell by my username). I don't really have any other place to go to for a topic like this for myself, so I thought this might be the best place. Though... this will probably get ignored or lost among the other ones. Haha. Anyways, I've just been feeling like such shit ever since Summer. It's not because the break was over, though at first I thought that. A lot of stuff just kept happening to me. And no, I don't mean only school. I moved to a new school which is hard to adapt to, but I'm used to that as it happens a lot and probably will. I did become popular quick, and it was going okay honestly. I just started to realize that my future was out of my control. I'm in 9th grade right now, and my Dad pretty much chose what subjects I'm taking a part of. I really wanted to go into Art and Design because that's my specialty, but my Dad made me choose something else. Not going too deep into it, but you get the point. Any who, that was just part of the issue. This new school is just horrible. And I don't mean that because they make you work more or anything. It's because they barely make you work, and the teachers so laid back. All of them.  I haven't learned shit in Physics because of my teacher who does nothing, so I took it upon myself to learn it. Same goes from my Math, Chemistry, Economics, and ICT teacher. My English teacher is good at least. In my last school, my last year, I met this girl. Now this isn't some cliche love story shit. She was someone going through severe depression and what not. She had many people try help her, but all of them gave up in the end. When I started helping her, a lot of people just pushed me away because I didn't listen to them when they said, "She can't be helped." In short, people, even my good friends and pals, started hating me for trying to save her. One sacrifice like that, I made many others. During Summer I chose not to travel so I could help her more. Well, to present day, she hasn't really done much helping me with my mentality, but no one really had so I don't blame her. It was just upsetting seeing her not appreciate all that I did. Or at least not showing it at all. Even for the littlest of shit now, she hates me, for no good solid reason. That all just made me go insane. At the same time during all that, I was helping other people online with their vents and giving advice. A lot of them appreciated it and thanked me for it, but never her. I don't know... maybe I'm just greedy... Earlier this month, my parents decided to be shit towards me with many things. I do my homework and any other work I'm assigned but regardless of that, I'm hated by them. Maybe they love me but they keep putting so much shit on me, so my anxiety and mentality tells me I'm hated by them. I'm just rambling most the shit I'm saying at this rate, aren't I? I don't even know what I just said... and I'm sorry for wasting your time. That is if someone even bothered reading this. I'm always being nice to her and shit, I'm like that with everyone. She never appreciates it. But when some random people started complimenting her, and liking her for how she looked for once, she appreciated that like nothing ever. More than anything I'd done... I should just stop talking because I don't even know what I'm saying... I don't even know what's wrong with me in the first place. But this morning I skipped school, without my parents knowing. Just trying to find a way to kill myself... Sorry... I really am...