Im just realizing now that I have BPD. I got my dream job as a teacher in a foreign country. Within the first week I had convinced myself that all my colleagues and all my students hated me. I was so paranoid that they were all conspiring against me to find any dirt in my name and use it to get me fired. 

I was so paranoid I had convinced myself that I was going to get fired, get deported, lose my teaching certification. I even thought that the parents were all going to sue me and I wouldn’t be able to pay, which would’ve landed me in a foreign jail. 

I recognize this is all extreme catastrophization but now I’m thinking this is a stone cold case of BPD. I unfortunately manifested my fear, and I did end up failing at my job, had to leave my resignation and move home. Going to start intensive therapy when I get back and any form of treatment I can receive. I’m heartbroken about it all, but more than anything think I need help right now.