Ive never been so serious about actually killing my self and I keep going back and forth with thinking what if I do it and I had something in the future that’d actually make it worth living but I’m almost so sure that there won’t. And I’m so sure I don’t want to live now. I have nothing. I’ve lost everything. All because of myself. I’ve lost all opportunities that have been presented to me and I know I’ll lose the future ones. I want to die but I’m afraid it won’t work And I’ll be left disfigured or brain damaged because of the way I’m planning on doing it. I just don’t want this anymore and I feel so so hopeless in every aspect