I’m not trying to make some edgy post about how I want to do drugs and shit but I don’t think it’s something you can say without coming across like that so whatever. 

But I don’t know, I just want to do heroin really badly right now. I guess I’m just sick of feeling so shitty and I’m sick of nothing working to make it better. All the medications I’ve been on have done sweet fuck all and I’ve been through dozens at this point. Therapy hasn’t helped me at all and I just feel awful all the time. I feel like I don’t belong in the world at all and yet I’m forced to exist in it. So I keep cycling between two thoughts constantly, that I want to kill myself or that I want to do heroin.