Everything feels so detached and fake and I feel like two versions of myself every day now. I don’t understand it and my physiatrist seems to think it’s part of my ADHD but my memory is a lot worse then it use to be. I want to restart everything but I’m not sure how I will. I hate everyone even when I don’t want to now. I always feel like I’m useless for not doing anything but I’m always so tired and I’m so fucking stupid and scared of needles I won’t get myself checked for any health issues. Idk how I’m meant to fix myself anymore, it’s like I reached a peak at the end of my schooling and nothing has felt the same ever since. I hate feeling so confused every day it’s really affecting my performance. I feel like there’s more wrong with me then I think but I’m so petrified of getting a needle and everyone treats it like a joke. I feel selfish going on like this to strangers online and I’ll probably delete this once I feel like I can help myself. I constantly switch between how I feel about these things. I’ll be vulnerable and want to talk and get some help one minute then next I’ll delete my shit about bottle it in because I feel like I can handle it myself.