Does anyone else have serious substance abuse problems that have stemmed from their BPD? I absolutely cannot stand being in my own mind so I do everything I can to drown my thoughts and feelings. Throughout the last decade plus, I have tried everything I can to regain sanity and take control of my mind. I am/have been on myriad mental health medicines, intensive therapy, support groups, IOP, rehabs, you name it. I constantly lie to myself, convinced that the drugs and alcohol will help, even though i KNOW they won't. They may numb the mind and offer some sense of relief, but it is only temporary. The guilt and remorse that surface when the drugs wear off make the situation even worse. It's a vicious cycle, self medicating with the hope of finding inner peace. I'm nearing the end of my rope, friends. I try to escape the madness, only to be tormented by thoughts I cannot control. I'm exhausted and tired of hurting in silence.

