I just finished an online call with a clinical psychologist and he told me that I have significant boderline traits (self harm, chronic feelings of emptiness and unclear self image) but not the diagnosis of boderline personality. I have been working with a different therapist for over an year and I have seen myself progress in many ways. 
Somehow being told that I don't have the disoder and just trait makes me a bit upset and I feel like shit for feeling that.