I thinki i've always noticed since I was young that I was unhappy, but I always kept pushing forward thinking about the future but it's just so difficult now. I don't want to dissapoint my family because they expect great things from me but I just don't have any motivation for anything. I don't know what I want for the future and quite frankly, I don't think I feel much need FOR a future.

But I keep pushing despite crying myself to sleep every night, I do it for my parents because I don't want to put them through that pain, but then what happens to mine?