I (16M) have always thought that it was a little weird that I have no friends at my school, while pretty much everyone else does. When I was 15, I started experimenting with different OTC drug. When I tried caffeine for the first time I instantly loved it. I wasn't a daily user, but every now and then I would pop a quick 100 mg or 200 mg and get really really high. Fast forward a year, I thought that this was just a phase, but I relapsed last night. I took 200 mg and went outside at like 2 or 3 AM. Within an hour I was extremely high, and I sat on the side of the road for almost 30 minutes just watching cars drive by. I thought that this could be a gateway drug but I haven't tried anything else in a year (and don't want to). It's almost like I found a little loophole out of my depression, and it's weird realizing it. Anyway, if you're wondering how this relates to anything, I do almost nothing else with my life; I have no friends, I get good but not necessarily amazing grades, I have no intellectual pursuits, all I care about is getting high (with a moderate dose of a very common OTC drug) on Friday nights. I honestly don't think I'm ready to be an adult, but I'm not scared, just confused with myself.