Hey all,

I'm having a really hard time at the moment and its a struggle not to cry all the time.

In 6 months I've been burgled, family pet died, forced out of my house, had covid which has caused long term health issues so I cannot work, my uncle died and then my childhood best friend died in his sleep at 32 years old. 

To make it worse, I've been ostracized by my only friends.

I've been in an online gaming group for about 5 years, I've always been one of the original core group and even met my boyfriend there that I now live with. We are a family and have had meet ups and stuff. 

There is a 20 year old girl in the group who I considered a little sister for 2.5 years. She struggles with borderline personality disorder and I was always there for her in a crisis, talked her out of suicide, sent her presents and was super close with. I did not realize in that time that she was a narcissist and grooming me. She used to fall out with everybody and I would always be on her side. I never noticed the red flags until October when she verbally abused me at 2am for not giving her enough attention basically. This was while I was grieving/moving house and i was taking time for myself. 

There was another girl in the group she hated with a passion and would always say horrible things about, I tried to keep the peace. Both of them have caused so much drama over the years and have been kicked out of the group numerous times for their behaviour.

On Christmas, she was crying down the phone to me saying her boyfriend had dumped her and she was going to be homeless. Me and my partner were in the process of either going to send her money or let her stay here if needed. I sent her a purse for NYE as it is her birthday and I wanted to cheer her up.

After that, things went quiet and she stopped talking to me. Next thing I know, she blocked me on everything and is now besties with the girl she hated, and they proceed to play the exclusion game by treating me like a ghost and talking over me whenever I spoke. My depression got so bad I had to leave the group because whenever I spoke, they would purposely start talking over me which made me feel like shit.

My other half was still in the group and saw 2-3 of them making shitty comments about me and laughing after I was gone. Which proved my suspicions correct.

Some of the others made a separate group without them so I feel safer and can play without the aggro but no one will directly defend me or have the balls to kick the toxic ones out. They don't want to "cause drama" or "get involved". 

Thing is, there isn't any drama. I have no idea what I've done to deserve this treatment because I've heard nothing. I'm so heartbroken that someone I loved has done this to me for no reason and has manipulated others to join in. I just wish the leader (who is fucking 45) would step up and say or do something. 

I know the logical answer is to just leave but these people have been my family for 5 years. I feel so alone. I feel stupid for being so naive and I have never felt so low in my life.

I'm trying to keep my dignity and stay quiet. I've said nothing to them directly.