haven't been genuinely happy in life since I was 10 years old(currently 25, male) and it's exhausting. 
Everything about my life and the events that have transpired in it, my appearance specifically my face, my job and current stressers have me just down all the time. Mixed with the fact that my brain doesn't shut off all the bad things when I'm not pre occupied mentally. I just can't help but think of every bad thing or thing that makes me sad or angry . It's exhausting, especially at work where I'm worked like a horse but it takes no mental capacity to do. 
I have extreme hatred for myself. My face and everything about it is ugly. I'm a male but have a small and narrow face. Recessed fave with a weak jaw bad teeth and lips. I'm ugly as all get out. 
My personality isn't good. I'm boring and get angry way to easy . I have no interests or passions in life aside from MTG, which I haven't played much bc I just don't care much anymore. I get depressed easily. I don't go out bc I envy literally every male that passes for being average or attractive while I'm stuck as this monster .
On top of all this I just have this inability to be happy. I'm stuck at a job I don't want that (boring long day factory bs. 120 degrees daily qnd miserable). I have 2 ex that I have children with. One won't stop putting my oldest in danger. The other I haven't seen in a year bc my ex won't let me see him, court for the first 6 months didn't favor me. We were supposed to make a deal and her offer was unreasonable . I couldn't come up with a counter offer and then I've been to broke to afford a lawyer for 8 months since then bc I have to put my resources into the other child that's actually jn danger. I get i have to but I cry literally every day missing my youngest boy and is probably the worst and most depressing thing to me right now. He doesn't even remember me probably and last time I saw him he could barely walk and now a year later he can probably talk in sentences. I dont know what he looks like anymore and I wanna just scream and cry all at the same time. He means everything to me and my heart breaks every day . 
My current relationship is falling a part. Lots of fighting bc I'm to insecure and say it. Don't get out. She also has lots of anger issues and us both having mental issues doesn't work.
I'm so broke and the world is so hard to make it in right now that with the two of us both working 40 hour jobs we can't get out of my frigging grandma and moms house . Don't get me started on my issues with my grandma and mom. I'll be here all day. 
I dont know what to do to get out of this hole. I feel like I am just doomed to never be happy or content.  Especially the stuff with my ugly face and even more, the stuff with my son if I don't see him soon. 

Thanks for reading my rant if you made it this far.