It’s getting worse these days. I am, now, finally accept the truth that I am in fact partially addicted to social media. I always have been this way, but now it’s just straight up escalating.

I recently moved to a completely new country and I feel super bad every single day.  

I’m a high schooler, my native language is not English, I used to live in a different cultural environment. I know the essence of being addicted to something is that the reality is not good enough, at least it is what I interpreted. I used to have lots of friends, and to be honest, everyone in the school knows me and Im sort of one of the popular kids, I had good grades, and everything was going so well. I didn’t afraid of criticisms because I knew I was better than them.

However now I do not have the confidence to say that anymore. I have no good friends in school, I’m afraid to talk to ppl, thinking that I might say something stupid in English without knowing it. And the most ridiculous thing is, this school grades students on participation(stupid ib system) , means I can’t even get a good grade.

I have suicidal thoughts everyday, I wish things could get better, and I live on that little motivation. Plus I’m also hypersensitive, meaning I can easily get hurt and I overthink too much.

Maybe it’s just as simple as putting down my phone, study more, exercise more, meditate, etc. let’s be honest, we all know that. But enforcing them is a whole other level thing.

I can only pray on tomorrow will be better. My last hope.