Just a rant I need to get out. 

I am tired of being depressed. I am 33 years old, and the holidays kick my depression up to 11. I don't even have any vice like drinking or smoking to deal with it so that makes it even worse. I've been able to deal with it on my own for years but it gets harder each year. 

This year seems to be hitting harder than most. I lost my mother a few years ago and she was the only parent in my life. The anniversary of her death is coming up, and I know I did everything I could for her but it doesn't feel like it was enough. 

My best friend just became a grandfather and here I am still single and alone. It feels as if having a kid of my own is never going to happen.