Social anxiety is feeling guilty when you don’t call but being mortified when you do call. I’ll eat myself up if I don’t call my family members enough, but then again, I’ll beat myself up after the phone call because I’ll be worried I didn’t say the right thing. Fucking exhausting. I turn my phone on airplane mode, out of anxiety, several times throughout the day because of this. It’s ridiculous.. because most of the time I’m not needing to make a call and no one needs to call me either. I just hate phones lol. 

I’m also anxious I missed the holidays because of work. I think everyone understood. Constantly worried of not being seen as a good or caring person. It gnaws at me almost every waking moment. Not feeling good enough, not doing the right thing.