I've recently been arrested for 2 different hard drugs during a traffic stop and I think this might be the final straw for me. 4 years ago my last gf left me and 2 months after that my best friend died. The only 2 people that I thought would be in my life forever were suddenly both gone in a matter of months. After that I managed to get a really good job that fits my abilities perfectly but this has lead me to isolate myself because I am able to live alone. With lots of money and isolation from losing these 2 people, I eventually turned to opiates. Now I have done plenty of drugs in my time but weed was the only thing I ever did consistently and never had an addiction problem with drugs. This quickly changed as I was able to do opiates practically everyday and still function, even at work. This turned into about a year long heroin addiction which was very expensive. But I eventually kicked it because I did not want to go broke and be homeless again. After a several months I turned to meth because the physical addiction issues aren't present with that drug. Although I would say overall it is much worse for you with the not eating and not sleeping. Well a week ago I got pulled over and now I'm looking at a felony and just the stress of having this over my head has got my suicidal idealization going haywire. Not to mention being completely sober again, doing nothing but sleeping the past week. During this past year or so I have been hanging out with another ex who I've been doing the drugs with but she has her own litany of problems herself and is in the same boat as I am when it comes to seriously considering suicide as we have discussed it a lot together. She is the only person on this planet who really knows me and how I really am. She was in the car with me and was charged as well. I have no one else. I have completely isolated myself from everyone. I think I've finally reached the end of my road.