I’m having a hard time figuring out what to do. When I approach a subject that has the potential to trigger her, like our relationship, there is no way possible to approach it that doesn’t result poorly.

Once I bring something up, even if it’s in a positive and relaxed tone, it devolves into a shitshow. She cries and sobs, she wants to hit her head on things, she trembles and can’t keep focus on the topic at hand. She ends up saying all these other things not related to the topic which in turn causes me great hurt. I have to spend days thinking about these things she says and figuring out if it’s how she feels or how she felt in the moment, but it doesn’t end there: If I determine it’s how she’s feeling in the moment and don’t regard it as a serious issue, then she accuses me of not listening to her!

She has literally told me that she “needs to emotionally numb herself for the next few weeks” like WTF? She’s asking my permission to check out? 

I tried addressing this with her, I told her it’s not fair to be emotionally checking out on purpose and she told me it’s her “need” so I don’t know what to think, it seems 100% incredibly unhealthy.