I have a friend with BPD who would text me every single day from the start of the morning to the middle of the night, and would let me know about stuff in her life she didn't tell anyone else, cry to me about her issues, etc. However, I often felt like she avoided meeting me in person and felt uneasy when meeting me, but simultaneously claimed that I'm her only true friend. Yet should would meet with other people that she claimed were not her "real friends" like me. So I'm in doubt whether I was ever really her "favourite person"? She would sometimes, directly or indirectly, let me know that she feels like I have a negative opinion of her and will abandon her at some point.

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Second, we'd have frequent arguments, often over nothing (from my perspective), that would result with her blocking and ignoring me. Most times, I didn't react in a hostile way, but I lashed out once and said a whole lot of hurtful things to her, then told her not to contact me again. Then I apologised and tried mending the situation a month later and she responded in a seemingly positive way, saying she was doing me a favour by ignoring me since, according to her, I think that she's a horrible person, but that she has nothing against us being friends. She continued ignoring me after saying that, though, and when I asked her about it, she told me that she already told me a hundred times that we'll never be friends (she never did) and I need to leave her alone. So I took the hint and stopped contacting her. However, she then contacted me herself a month later, saying that she's not angry anymore, and we again began texting on a daily basis.

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Two months from that, we had an argument over her sometimes ignoring my questions while texting, it seemed trivial and silly to me, but her reaction was pretty dramatic and now she blocked me and has been ignoring me for a couple of weeks. She told my other friend that she has nothing against us talking again, but when she unblocked me and I asked her how she's doing, she ignored me, and continues to ignore me in person.

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Do I just give up? Am I bothering her? Is she punishing me? Does she want me to contact her? I understand that people with BPD don't all have the same pattern of behaviour and are individuals with unique personalities, but I'm asking in hope that maybe a situation like this will be familiar to someone else's experience.

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I did criticise her at times, and would respond to her anger with anger, but I had little not no understanding of BPD at the time. I really do care about her, and I'm willing to be patient with whatever it is that she's dealing with, but it seems like she'd done with me for good.