Term break ended yesterday. I was really nervous the last week of break about going back to campus, especially because I have work placements in a couple weeks, and I'm so scared of being a disappointment to the people I'll be working with and my tutors. I was managing my anxiety though, and I was not going to let it stop me from going to class today.

But then my ex texted me, and while I ignored it as best I could, it still affected me - we had a messy break up and hearing from him made me basically relive part of the anxiety I felt while in the relationship/breaking up.

I ended up getting less than 3 hours of sleep. When my anxiety used to be really bad (has been better this year,) my sleep was affected just like this. I pretended like I was getting ready to go to class until my parents left for work, but here I am, not going, because I'm scared of returning after break, I'm scared of being judged on work placements, and my thoughts keep putting me back in that hurtful relationship. And I feel like shit about myself now because why do I let such little things affect my life so much? Maybe I'm just using my anxiety as an excuse to be lazy? Why am I so weak?