i've always used art as a way to cope. my whole life. as long as i can remember. i've also dealt with depression my whole life. and trust me, i've tried everything. numerous therapists, different medications, different coping methods. and even though it obviously couldn't cure me, creating art was still there for me as a way to vent my issues out. but in the past year i've not only disliked everything i've made, i truly hate it. the one thing i could rely on to stop myself from SH. i'm so upset. i always end up here. falling short. losing friends. losing hope. moving cross-country again and again and again. continuously starting over. i don't care anymore. i don't have the energy to. i'm so lost. so tired. this is such a messy ramble of bullshit, but i'm too exhausted to care. i don't know what to do. i wish i could disappear.