It just hurt. It was her first reaction. I haven’t even had a friend in years, let alone someone with whom I’m pursuing something romantic. I’ve never had that. I thought she might be happy for me. It makes me feel ugly and worthless. 

I’ve been talking to him for over a month. I like him a lot, but I don’t think I’ll ever have the courage to meet him irl. I’m way too scared of not being good enough. 

I don’t remember the last time I felt genuinely beautiful. I must’ve been a kid. I feel inadequate on all fronts, actually. I don’t feel worth it.

I think I’ll cry myself to sleep now.