I have bipolar type 1 with psychotic features.  

I’m trying to avoid my biggest trigger, abandonment.

I don’t know if you believe in attachment types but mine is insecure anxious and my friend is insecure avoidant.  Check my post history for the long rant of my problem.

My question for this community has anyone been able to salvage a relationship falling apart with this kind of attachment interaction?

I’m trying to share unconditional love for my friend and it just seems to push her further away.

I’m more self supported now that I’m off olanzipine, maybe I’m just too much like myself out of the blue after being a zombie for almost 2 years.  I think she gave up on me along the way, saying I love you just to keep me hanging in there, I didn’t have much other support. Again zombie drugs.  

So I lost or am losing my best friend, once lovers, all due to this horrible illness and it’s “cures”.  

How to salvage what’s left?  I’ve made requests that were approved by therapist and DBT group.

I’m also reading When Things Fall Apart, which is preparing me for suffering and pain and uncomfortableness and groundless ness, rug pulled out from under me, and how to lean into those feelings and be comfortable with it.

Any advice?  I’m looking to build a secure attachment type but it’s hard working on problems with an avoidant type.

I really am trying to be a good friend, showing compassion, giving encouragement and just being available with loving kindness.

I’m probably just being selfish, she’s going through a divorce but it’s been in the works for years and we used to talk nonstop every day.

I’ve never felt unconditional love for someone, and I’m afraid to just let go that which I cherish most. 

I don’t have another 40 years to find that type of love. 

It sucks feeling so vulnerable, and not being able to support a friend that has supported me so much.

Any advice?