ive always struggled with depression, but the past few years, especially this past year, has been really tough on me. over the summer last year i started crashing. i lost motivation for my hobbies, i stopped going around my friends, my family, my relationship, and i isolated. i also lost my grandmother and my aunt within a short time frame. i have also developed an eating disorder and have become very underweight and my mental health is greatly affecting my physical health. my memory is butchered and i have been having heart issues. most days i have anxiety/panic attacks for hours and a lot of the time i feel so worked up that im afraid im about to blow up at a moments notice.. its amazing to see how far ive fallen in such a short time span when i was having the time of my life just a year ago but became bed ridden outside of work. im tired, im drained, im exhausted. im running on low battery.

i recently started therapy again for the first time in years and im trying to have some hope that i will find my way back to feeling like myself again with time and guidance, but on the other hand i have been feeling hopeless about recovery. my self esteem and confidence has turned into dust. positive thinking is so hard for me right now, but im really trying my best with therapy and being open minded to help when ive neglected myself for so long. i miss who i was so bad and i just want to feel at least a little bit better with myself. hoping for a good journey.. ❤️