I cry automatically from time to time i cried the hardest today i dont want to end my self cause i will be adding more weight on my parents. I am stupid i can't study well i lack social confidence i have trust issues cause i got bullied and i had friends which were untrustworthy and would end up stranding me after they used me. 
I mostly had friends because i used to make fun of my self and swear a lot. i am a real mistake my dad is so angry and depressed because of me. My mom has hopes that i would someday become better on top of that i come from a poor family so they can't even afford this bullshit of me. 
I done with life but their is a basic human instinct and hope of god fixing everything. 
My dad works hard to earn that college fees that's double then he could earn in a year. 
I am afraid i would fail miserably waste dads money. 
My friends and bullies on the other hand might be living the best life a teenager in this country can have. 
Whilst i can't talk to girls cause i have heavy anxiety near them.