so a few months ago i realized i was 
non-binary/genderfluid. before that i identified as gay (i was AMAB.) anyways, i want to get back into a relationship even though i feel like i shouldn’t. i only recently got diagnosed with BPD and am on a healing journey. i just feel so f*cking lonely. people around me my age are in relationships and then there’s just me. i have one best friend. we hang out 3 times a week and then i’m just alone the other 4 days. it’s hard for me to make friendships. a relationship is different. i want to feel like someone gives a f*ck about me. i want someone to “save” me, to tell me “no.” it’s so hard finding a relationship, it’s a struggle. sometimes i just wish i was attracted to women, it would be so much easier.