It all started 2 weeks ago I believe. After many weeks of thinking and finding reasons not to, I broke up with my girlfriend. The main factor of my decision is as trust. I couldn’t trust her anymore after something that happened June of 2021. I told her that if I couldn’t trust her I couldn’t be entirely happy in our relationship. We decided to stay as friends but honestly I only suggested it to stay close to her because I still love her. It was just trust that was missing. 

While the weeks passed by I started to dream and think a lot about her. To the point I understood the phrase “you never know what you had until you lose it.” Last night I decided to call her back and see if she wanted to come back, I told her I messed up. Sadly she didn’t want to, she said that she wanted to stay as friends. Deep down when I told her I wanted to come back, I had a glimpse of hope she was going to say yea. Breaking up with her is one of the biggest regrets I made in my entire life. 

But the problem doesn’t end there. I don’t know why life decided to be an ass, but everything started to happen during those two weeks. And I don’t have anyone I can talk to about my problems because that person was my girlfriend. She was the only one I felt comfortable. It takes me so much time to get to know a person to the point I feel I can’t talk to them. So I’m just back to bottling up my emotions and hoping that works for now. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t know what todo. Right now I’m in so much darkness I can’t find light.