After my "fatal suicide attempt" two years ago (3 full scripts and whiskey) the only thing my huzzy of 21 years asked if me was a to learn empathy.  So, I tried.  Today, I learned that "me" is too much for my co-workers.  Shouldn't call the new boss (old bitty that should retire and has no business managing people) a bitch, shouldn't be too negitive, shouldn't crack witty jokes, am secluded from the team ( but took on WAY more responsibilities than anyone else) and be professional to my team members (am to the customers on the phone but not to my co-workers).   

So, I can't be me at work.  I can't be me to my huzzy, because...stuff.  

When can I be me?  I have rage issues.  More than the others massive emotions, cause it's not a roller coaster, it's more of a ball that sticks out at every direction.  


I'm funny, I'm witty as fuck, I don't like my bubble invaded, I'm mother fucking awesome...but I can't be me.  I'm "extra".  When the fuck can I be me????

I remember arguing with my shitty mom and brother that I'll never "conform".  I have a tattoo on my lower back as a joke that says " conformist".  I never thought I would, or. HAVE to... Cause I'm me, and fuck 'em if they don't love me as much as I do (no-one else did, some one had to).

But, they don't.  

What the flying fuck?!?!?!


So, when are you truly you?  The awesome mother fucker that you know you are and no one else seems to grasp?  