I usually feel strong and live off of my happy mania symptoms, but for six months I’ve just been depressed. I’ve been trying to start my own company and it just keeps failing, there’s not good full time job opportunities in my current field of work, I’ve been sub contracting and the companies schedule me then don’t get back with me, and I got an eviction notice today. And these are just the big things, not to mention all the small things going wrong. I also have a wife (who’s a stay at home mom) and a 10 month old daughter who both rely on me for support and security. 

I moved to a new state recently also, before the move everything seemed great, after the move all these things happened. I’d love to move back home but my parents are moving out here in a few weeks so I feel trapped. I’d feel bad since they already have a house and jobs and turned in their resignations. Plus my wife’s family is from here. 

I haven’t made any plans yet, nor have I self harmed, but it’s crossed my mind a few times for sure. I just feel hopeless.