Right now I'm just existing doing things to kill time (or kill days) 
I don't really enjoy anything and I want to be productive to at least, learn or do something while I wait for the "big magical change of my life" to arrive but, everything feels like is not enough, I'm not having fun doing even what like to do or I feel like a failure (like when I play Rocket league instead of learning 37 new skills) and even when try to be productive, I feel sad and I think that it won't make me any better (even when I now it will)
Do you have any advice or have you ever feel like this? 
Thanks for reading