i have struggled with cocaine, meth, fentanyl etc. since I was 13. I got into shoplifting, drug dealing prostitution and just plain fraud to pay for these things. My favorite thing to do was to find an older gay man on Facebook (or they find me) and begin a friendship with them, if they seemed interested in me. I would slowly tell them my story and try to get them on my side, while also sending nudes sometimes and trying to be flirty tho i had no real physcial attraction to these people. I would say I owed a dealer, or that i was so dopesick i thought i would die, and they would offer to send me money. So I did that, at first it wasnt on purpose but then I did it again, and again, and again.... I dont always use the money for i say I need it for, Im sober now and I still cant stop this im almost addicted to feeling of "getting away with it" but I know im so evil for taking advantage of people who genuinely care for me. Is this something that sounds similar to others with BPD? I just dont know if im just a shitty person who just cant stop putting myself in front of others or its the BPD telling me I should fuck people over and abandon them because thats what they r trying to do to me.