Hi all,

I regrettably keep trying to open up to my family about my emotions. Every time I do and I’m invalidated, I’m told that they’re just entitled to their opinions and that not everyone is as sensitive or thinks like me. 

I’m aware of that and nowhere do I say those things. I try to say that and it feels like war breaks out. I simply try to express how I feel about being invalidated about my own emotions and experiences. I also try to tell them that I’m not responsible for the emotions of others, something I’m working hard to be firm on. 

Then when I say I feel that there isn’t emotional support, compassion or empathy towards me after sharing. I’m asked if I ever consider how much I hurt people and that I don’t care for them. 

That can be true, I am full of resentment as it’s an endless cycle of me desperately seeking validation and acceptance. When I don’t get it, get blamed, get yelled at or told I need to consider what I bring up for other people when I share my feelings. I struggle to show them empathy or care as it’s evident they don’t for me. I also get resentful when I have to constantly suppress myself in order to not upset others. I feel I have to play a character for them and I get tired of that. 

It feels like I need to suppress all my emotions, accept poor behaviour, not react to it or feel the effect of it yet caretake everyone else because if I don’t I’m a selfish brat. 

I’m fighting so hard for recovery and to feel and process my emotions yet everyone I go back to try and do that to my family. The cycle continues. 

If I say something I’m a problem, if I don’t, I’m a problem. I’m told I need to consider what people do for me. Thing is, I don’t want things done for me, I just want to be emotionally supported, cared for and accepted. 

Does anyone else experience this? If so, how do you deal with it? I’m at a loss and cutting people off always gets me in trouble. Yet, staying and continuing the cycle feels like I need to sell my soul and not be me as is not safe to be.