I feel like everyday, whether bad or good i always have this underlying unimpulsive urge to die. I feel the same about my ex, its been a year and a half and I'm still just going to sleep with cravings to message him and hear from him. Like they're always at the back of my mind, the second my mind gets a chance to relax the feelings pop up. I lie there thinking about how much i want to die but i dont get any impulsivity to do so. Does anyone else feel this?