I'm 21. I like doing nothing. Does that sound weird? I guess. I can't wait to sleep each day. Sleep is just a great escape. Sometimes I just sit and watch concerts for hours (I looove metal), or random YouTube videos. I live with my sister's she's out most of the day for work, and I really am not interacting with anybody, which I don't mind. It's not a happy or sad feeling, just numb. 

When I'm living at uni, I feel constant pressure. Pressure to go to the kitchen and to talk to people. Pressure to keep an interest in a subject that I really am losing interest in. Pressure to fit in with random people and flatmates I don't be talking to in 6 months. I don't drink or smoke or do anything to fit in with people. I just feel a deep disconnection from people.

Now that I moved out of uni temporarily for Christmas, it's like a weight being lifted off. But I know it'll be back in January when I need some drive or motivation to do coursework and to mix with flatmates

I had a part time job at a supermarket, got fired because I was too slow, kept making mistakes. Had a job at a pizza place, got laughed at behind my back because I was on edge at people looking at me trying to sauce a pizza. I got my shit and left. I'm not currently looking for work at the moment. I've got a load of money saved up and I'm pretty good at managing it

Sometimes I go between suicidal and like this way. A few weeks ago I thought about taking my life. But I wouldn't say I have plans, just passive thoughts. I'm getting assessed by a mental health professional in January so hoping to see what comes from that.

I don't really eat either. And I think I am fat. Which I'm not. I'm pretty slim. But sometimes I wake up, look and the mirror, and I think my face is fat, and some mornings I think it's not. I don't know if it's common, but I'm embarrassed to talk about it

Yes I was abused by my parents pretty badly from early childhood, I moved out in 2018. Still healing. Still here. Don't know if that's a good thing or not

Can anyone relate?