Just like a reset button on a video game...I wish I could restart a level at a particular time in my life.

I would rather have my memories completely gone, too, so I would have a chance to experience life again after making the better choice. And to show that I could have made that better choice.

I wish I could tell my younger self to simply hold on, and even though I was experiencing pain at that time, to think about your future self.

It is not possible to change the past...and I know it does more harm than good to fall into the pit of rumination.

But damn...that one choice ruined everything. I do not see how it is possible to recover. A decade later...and I am still experiencing the consequences. The low self-esteem, the shattered confidence.

The missed golden opportunity that was my dream and passion...all gone because of one panic attack.

Many of you would say that I am still young (31) and have many years ahead of me full of other good opportunities.

But you don't understand...nothing will be THAT opportunity. It would have given me positive momentum to make the last decade something my younger self would have been proud of.

You know what I mean?