For context, I am an 18 year old girl and currently in my senior year of high school. Being the only person within your friend group with no romantic interest being expressed your way is hard. I have horrible self confidence and eating/body issues that are probably only worsened by this. However, now that I have someone I am “talking” to, I’m convinced he sees me as only someone to keep him company, both platonically and sexually. If he wanted to date me, he would have already asked, as we have hung out nearly everyday for the past couple months. I see the way he talks to others and can’t help but feel bad about myself, and it's not even like he is flirty with them, either. I just feel like there is a disconnect between me and everyone else. Why would anyone want to spend time with me, let alone date me? I feel unlikeable. I have no interests, no hobbies, no special talents. I’m reserved and bad at making people laugh. I have little social skills, never able to carry on a conversation with ease. When I do try to jump into a conversation, I immediately regret it and feel what I said was unnecessary, or stupid, or came out the wrong way. My depression has only made this feeling worse, now that I really have no motivation or passion for anything, want to isolate myself from others, and turn to unhealthy coping methods. I’m a senior in high school but have absolutely no excitement for the future. Now that summer is coming up, I need to get my FAFSA together, find a job that will pay well enough, and figure out college shit. How will I ever get any of that done when I can’t even do my homework or get to school on time? I feel defeated before even trying. The best words I can come up with to explain how I feel are frustrated, stuck, and hopeless. If I hate life now, just imagine how much I’m going to hate life when I’m a working adult with responsibilities. My life is easy now, and everyone always reflects back on how much they loved their teens, and I really wish I could love these years too, but it's easier said than done. I guess I’m just looking for an outlet to rant. I don’t really feel comfortable sharing with friends or my mom about how I feel, and when I do share with my mom, she usually tells me I need to schedule a therapy appointment. Well, sometimes I feel like I don’t want to get help. Honestly, I just want to wallow in my sadness most of the time. I heard somewhere that usually people feel like that when they feel comfortable in their sadness so I guess that might be why. I just get very tired of feeling this way and having no one to vent to. I would love to get on antidepressants but I just find it hard to finally schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist. I just want a quick and easy fix. I know this is a lot of complaining (the pessimist in me is sure there's plenty more I could complain about but I won’t) about nothing super upsetting, and I normally would never share this much online but I kind of feel like this subreddit is a good place to get some advice and maybe even find some people who can relate.