Seriously the damage is done I can't go back in time as much as I would love to and dream about it daily it's impossible. So now I'm forced to live and just move on.... that's BS everyday is torture with not only clinical depression but permanent health issues that make my life a living hell as well. I don't feel lucky to be alive to be honest I'm pissed that I still am. Prolong suffering is pointless there should be some kind of humane solution for fuck ups like me in the world.