Ive never been in a relationship or had a sexual partner. Ive never known how to talk to the opposite gender. Ive never been good at making friends. Ive never been truly happy. Ive never had a healthy relationship with my  family. I just recently found out i have autism, which makes a lot of sense. 

I had to withdraw from school cause i was close to killing myself. i am going to try and hit the gym, get my license, goto a mental health program , and make up some of the credits i dropped, during summer break. I just really fucking want to be happy and experience love. i feel so god damn empty and sad and lonely. i really hope when i go back to school im happy and meet someone special eventually. i really hope the work i put in this summer makes me much more confident, social, and happy.

if it doesn’t, im scared of what I’ll do to myself.