I've been reading through so many post on this forum and others about BPD. I had started therapy and got diagnosed. I stopped because of my own compulsions and worries. I have ruined my relationship because of my lies and my instability. I feel like such a shitty person. Why am I so horrible? How will anyone ever love me again? Will he ever forgive me for all the shit I put him through? 


I don't know what to do with myself, I'm such a wreck right now and I keep fucking everything up even if I don't want to. 