I'm a 22y guy that just recently, due to anti-depressive medication, discovered how "???" my life has ever been. I've always been like "???" and I'm on the process of understanding what it is (yes, with a experienced professional).

I feel in need of directions in the case appointed in the title:

"If specific thoughts/emotions often get so intense that, when trying self-control, I feel like my muscles are contracting and holding itself to the point I get muscular fatigue afterwards. Is it a topic of concern I should appoint more assertively?"

The last question is due to the fact that when in the presence of professionals I tend to shy away. I feel I'm still holding back due to my bad habits of "don't bother people with your feelings", as I don't like to worry my family unecessarily, but this whole situation I'm in is getting me quite concerned.

When my thoughts take hold of me and start to race me throught themselves, cracking my senses, until I toss myself out of it or return due exhaustion. Afterwards, I just ask myself: "what even was that", "Is this even normal?" or "Should I be more careful with this? How much? Should I talk more about it? Where? Is this really a medical case? Because it surely show many signs of it..."

It's been a rough month and a half where I found out It's not just been a month and a half.

Any insights are welcome, and don't worry about any self-diagnosis, speculation or panic issues related to anything you have to say to me or ask me, I'm safe and being cared for, if anything it really would help me to have references to cross with my experiences (It may take me time to respond - busy with college stuff)

Thank you for your attention.