seeking input on whether:
A) my partner isn’t making reasonable efforts to my needs, 
B) the needs of myself versus my partner are incompatible, or 
C) my needs are unattainable, and I need to practice more self-validation, etc. 

my partner and I have been together for quite a while, and he’s so incredible at navigating our relationship with my BPD, cPTSD, etc. he’s aware of my triggers, is super attuned to my emotions, and is naturally very DBT so he helps implement our healthy boundaries.  one problem.. I really can’t stand his video gaming. for whatever reason, it makes me feel super abandoned, and I just wished when we were spending time together he didn’t do it. 

I spend a lot of time at his place, so naturally he’ll sometimes be doing other things while we’re together. if he’s doing work, or watching TV, I’m not bothered, but video games just seem to be this mega trigger, possibly because he plays games that he can’t immediately step away from. 

I’m really struggling to navigate this, as it is the only recurring fight in our relationship. I can slip into an episode just from him starting to play.  

does anyone have suggestions on how to communicate getting your needs met, how to not be so “needy” in a relationship, or just in general solidarity on being in a similar situation.

tl;dr how do you spend time together with your SO in a long-term relationship without their focus being entirely on you at all times?