Sorry this is long. 

So, I’ve been in residental psych treatment for a 1 yr and 5 months. If I refused I’d be finically cut off and homeless. My dad believes since he pays for everything and I’m just not trying to handle my BPD that I shouldn’t live a life. Prior to being in intense treatment I’ve been in a type of PHP out patient for the last 9 years. 

Since I’ve been to three different treatment centers, 4 different therapists have said that my dad just doesn’t have any skills or he doesn’t want to learn about my BPD and that he’s emotionally unavailable. I’ve had one therapist go as far to say that he’s toxic and they shouldn’t be around him and I should cut him out of my life. So overall there’s a pretty good consistence that I need to be away from my dad. 

My new therapist which I like for the most part, thinks that I need to reconnect with my dad because we used to have good times together. Those good times and it when I was probably about 12 years old and my dad has just never tried to understand me at all. Well I have anxiety, depression and BPD my dad says for the rest of my life I should just live in a group home. Even my current therapist he says “no you need to live on your own”. So I’m not understanding why she wants me to talk to someone who triggers me so much and the only reason I talk him at all is because otherwise I would literally be homeless. I’ve already cut my mom out my life when I was 15 because she’s narcissistic and borderline and she never wanted to get any type of treatment because she said “I’m not crazy “. (My life has been positive without her in it). 

My past therapist has talk to my current therapist and he told her about all the things my dad does and why our relationship needs to be cut off. She still thinks she can help but she’s talk to my dad two times and she thinks that he wants me to get better and basically feel sorry for him.

Today I got really triggered because I went on my step mom’s Facebook and she was talking about how much she loves her daughters and she included her daughter-in-law is her biological daughter and her granddaughter but left me out. There are no mentions of meat anywhere on her Facebook and she wants to be on calls with my therapist so she can “help me”. 

I try to show my therapist emails that he sent me that show he’s not someone I need in my life and she just replies she doesn’t need or want to see them. 

I don’t know what to do. My dad doesn’t allow me to get any financial help other then himself. I can’t escape him and my therapist wants me to be closer to him. The pain of my family hurts so much that it becomes physical. I just don’t know what to do. I can’t talk to someone when all they say is I’m difficult and I’m not “a pleasure to be around” and that I have no empathy for anyone.