The first serious panic attack I've ever had was on New Year's 2015. I was alone in a dark room, my chest hurt and I couldn't breathe. I didn't even get up to see the fireworks, I just listened to the sound and cried. I've had anxiety for most of my life but that was the year I had started to really struggle with my mental health. Every year since then I get really anxious on this day. I can't stop thinking about how fast time is passing and the fact that I've wasted yet another year being a depressed, anxious, dysfunctional mess. Last year I got high an hour before midnight and felt really peaceful and happy. Now I'm sober again and the anxiety is back just as strong as before. 


Maybe 2022 is the year I finally get better...