i feel like it just never ends. everything i do, every word i say, everything i do online i just feel awful about. ive distanced myself from old friends for past trauma and i cant make new ones because of my worry that ill just be left again. i always feel like my family and my fiancée hate me. every six months or so i make new social media accounts because im terrified something will happen and im always embarrassed over what i say or what i post. i dont even know what to do anymore, how to cope, or where to even begin. i feel myself slipping away and every day i become more of shell of the person i once was. i just wish the constant pit in my stomach would go away.