I met someone a little bit ago and we've been seeing each other for a little over a month. I'm obsessed with him and he seemed pretty interested in me. We've spent a lot of time together. I blacked out drinking about two weeks ago and was supposed to see him that night, so I called him 19 times. It was bad. He was fine with it though and came over really late that night. Last weekend, I started drinking at 5pm with him and his friends. I blacked out again. He left me at a bar to go somewhere else for a minute and I guess I didn't understand and freaked out and sent him so many dramatic texts and called him so many times. I don't remember how he reacted or how the rest of the night went, but the next day was normal. I woke up with him and was there until about 3pm. I drove back to my place about 2 hours away and haven't heard from him in two days. Does it sound like I ruined it? I've been getting physically sick over this. I texted him once this morning, but haven't heard back. He was texting me for a little bit every night prior to this. I've been single for 4 years because I've ruined the past 3 almost relationships I've had. I've gotten so much better but I lose all of my rationality when I'm drinking. I could easily fix it now by not drinking as much or at all, but I'm afraid it's too late.