I do not understand why my everyday life is a struggle and im never happy. I have a great life with an amazing family and im very privileged so WHY  am I like this and I have been for on and off ca 4 yrs. A background: ca 4 years ago I got anorexia which spiraled into binge eating disorder which made me gain a lot of weight which was VERY hard on my mental health. Then the last 3 years I have dealt with binge eating a lot which made me "isolate" kinda (except from my family cause I live w them) bc I was so ashamed of my weight gain and body so I didn't want to be with friends etc. And then on and off for the past years everyday has either been me feeling all down and "depressed" or crying all day or feeling fine or super anxious or having binge episodes or trying to "make up" for the binging or me having panic etc. Basically a nightmare in my perspective. I have a therapist and have tried many but it doesn't really seem to get much better. For an example, today, im with my family skiing. And at dinner I got hit by a wave or cloud of random extreme sadness so I had to leave the table and now im in my room crying for absolutely no specific reason like why Is this happening? Yesterday I felt fine most of the day and now im in my room hysterically crying? Now my family is going to have game night and of course I have to miss out on that because I feel so sad I don't want to sit there crying. Almost everyday is a struggle of some kind and I assume im dealing with some mental health issues but its unclear what. Im trying to figure out what's wrong with me I guess its part anxiety, part depression and part eating disorder? Idk what's causing what but I must have all those things. im so sad and hopeless and I don't know what to do now im not even sure why im writing here but ill give it a try:(