I feel like I have been going in circles for years. I want things to just shift already, but I'll probably always feel some form of this. pain means life? why is there pain to live? in face value its such a stupid sounding thing, but I am so damn tired. I can't believe some people can honestly say they never wished they died. I can't imagine what that must feel like. I'm happy for them. I'm proud of myself for making it this far.