[[Sorry if it's the wrong post. Show me where if you know better. I just feel most comfortable with you all]]

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So when I was 10 I was sexually assaulted by a 15 year old and then made fun of about it by the other one who was there. I felt too ashamed and uncomfortable and didn't tell my parents which I wish I did. I told them when it was too late to do anything, years later.

Now when I look back, I feel it wasn't as bad as it could have been, and I feel overreactive, but ever since then I cannot trust people of the male gender very well.

I'm a pretty friendly person with humor males tend to find funny? But it scares me at times because it's happened where guys have thought I was into them by just even looking in their direction. Not even AT them (like I was looking out a window out of habit at work to watch to customers and this guy sitting down came onto me... At work... It was FAST FOOD).

So that coupled with my past assault that I sometimes call trauma, without explaining--cause if I explain I feel it doesn't sound like it. It tends to make me panic if I ever observe someone having a thing for me. It makes me feel like I need to be on my toes and makes it hard for me to remove myself because unless they're aggressive, I freeze. If someone shows any interest I shut down and stumble and freak out.

But the thing that affects me the most is I have trouble hanging out with my male friends alone, even though I know 100% they won't do anything. It gives me a lot of anxiety and I can't. It makes me feel like I'm distrustful but 14 years later I just can't get myself to feel comfortable around every male. Even when it doesn't make me think of my past assault. It's just this inherent fear.

Like I know "not all guys" are assailants but it doesn't change my fear and being on my toes all the time.

So my question is... If my assault feels stupid and small and not like a big deal to the point I'm sure people would brush it off if I told them... Would I be overreacting? It's a dillema I have and I hate it. I literally just want to be friends with people and be kind but it backfires so damn often. 

Tl;dr: past sexual assault that I feel is objectively miniscule makes me feel like my current behaviours are overreactive. I feel like I shouldn't be affected so much by this. Is there anything that can help?