Ok so this is my first time posting on reddit, like i’ve had it for maybe a day and idrk how this works but i guess if i’m gonna start anywhere it’ll be in this category. I’ve suffered from depression since fourth grade but didn’t get “officially diagnosed” until 8th grade which is way too long if you ask me. I also suffer from PTSD. It’s not a bad case and it’s not like i was abused physically but my life was threatened and i slept with a bat next to my bed for weeks, even after the police caught who’d done it. A bit before that i’d come out as bi which didn’t seem to bother people but when i told my best friend i liked her, she just ditched me. We patched it up now but i still have a major crush on her and i know i need to stop it but i can’t. Also there’s the trust issues. I was technically abandoned by my “dad” 3 times but one of them wasn’t even my dad even though we thought he was. Jeez I really hope this thing doesn’t have a character limit. Ok so carrying on, we took a dna test, found out who my dad was, and he then went off the grid. Mainly my trust issues are towards males but that doesn’t mean i only have trust issues with them. Ok so my birth mom couldn’t handle me and ended up giving me away to the woman who was too old to have a child of her own. BAD IDEA. She can’t function correctly and has left me to do almost everything. The only one on my family I ever trusted was my grandma but she passed away when i was 8. Let’s see what else i have to unpack.. oh right, social anxiety. at first we thought it was just me being an introvert but when i started getting panic attacks in the middle of stores if i was shopping on my own, we knew it was worse. I also despise being touched by anyone other then my two closest friends. They’re the only ones in the world i feel i can trust. Soooo I think that’s it? Idk but i can’t think of anything else rn. I don’t really know what the point of this was but i guess i just needed to vent and didn’t want to bother my friends. Also i’m not sure if i’m allowed to say this on here or not but there have been 3 separate times that i’ve tried to uhh.. i don’t know how to put it but i think you guys might understand. It’s been over a year since my last try though so i think it’s getting better, I just have to ignore the 2 1/2 hour mental breakdown i had yesterday