I 19M have 3 younger brothers and I feel like they have fulfilling lives while I have nothing. I'm 5'8" and fat, super introverted, I watch anime and play games, I have friends but we live so far away we can never meet up and hang out and I'm not confident enough in my looks to even try to enter a relationship. 

My brothers on the other hand, they are super extroverted and outgoing, great at talking to and entertaining girls, they watch anime and play games as well but their other features make people like them more while it makes people look down on me. My first brother and second brother are 6ft tall and 17 and my other brother is 5'4" and 14 + they're all skinny and generally stay active. 

My dad is always colder to me in comparison to my other brothers and it really gets to me all the time, the way how he puts in effort to get them what they want while he put off all my things and needs because he doesn't want to spend lots of money on me really affects how I feel about myself. It also doesn't help that he is super religious and doesn't believe in things like depression. Sometimes I wonder if he'd love me more if I was skinnier and in shape like my siblings.