I sleep 15 hours a day and am usually awake at night scrolling through my phone. I never remember to drink water. I rarely brush my teeth. I shower once a week. I’ve worn the same clothes for weeks. I go on short walks a few times a week and that’s it for exercise. I don’t take care of myself. Today I decided I was so unmotivated that nothing was worth it anymore, and that I don’t care a bit if I miss the application deadline for the college I really wanted to go to. I don’t care if I lose the summer job that I’m in love with. I don’t care if all my friends abandon me. I don’t care anymore. It’s too much work to put in effort, to do laundry and complete a fucking college application that doesn’t even have an essay, to get up and brush my goddamn teeth for 2 minutes. Yup. Might as well stay in bed for the rest of my life I guess. Fuck everyone whose life isn’t this hard. And fuck Covid which makes it impossible to find in person therapy. And fuck Covid shots Bc I’m afraid of needles. I’m so done. And I feel angry at the world and at myself.