My partner and I have been through it lately, he has bipolar and is on his own very intense mental health journey. I am also in the first few months of me seeking therapy and trying out meds. 

Now, I have always had trust issues because of my past. But when he and I first started dating, I had 100% full trust in him. Partially because I’d been friends with him for over 11 years prior to starting a relationship (at the beginning of this year), and partially because I made a promise to myself that I was no longer would date someone if I didn’t trust them. 

Around April, he broke up with me over guilt of feeling like he hadn’t been there for me during my mental breakdown and because his new meds made him numb and felt like I deserved someone who was more affectionate and could be there for me better. He told me he still loved and cared about me. I told him I didn’t want to lose him and so I’ll wait till he’s ready and I would respect his decision for space.

For a couple weeks, we went little to no contact. I was out of town for work training anyway, and he took some time to go out of state to visit family for a couple weeks. We talked again when we both got back into town and he told me how guilty he feels, and I once again told him I’m not gonna walk away. 

So then we started seeing each other again, and we had brief talks about how neither of us have seen/talked to or want to see or talk to anyone else. But I was SO anxious about the situation that I constantly overthought it and once said we were friends with benefits because I thought that’s all he wanted out of me. Every single time I bring it up, he has been so good about telling me that he’s just seeing me and considers us exclusively dating and has this whole time. He has never done anything to break my trust. 

But social media is my issue. He says that as far as everyone knows, he is seeing me exclusively. But his profile still says single after the breakup, and he had taken down our photos together. Now, to be fair, he hardly posts to social media like EVER. But I feel so weird about it, and I recently noticed that there’s two girls that follow him mutually that have blocked me on Instagram. Recently blocked me. One I had been friends with and one I don’t know.

I HATE that I even pay that much attention to social media, but I panic when I can’t see what’s going on. Does anyone have any advice on how to at least help this social media/relationship trust issues anxiety? Besides the obvious? My therapist did say we will work on my media addiction soon, but I’m gonna lose my crap now if I don’t help it somehow. 

TL;DR: 

My social media addiction is creative massive trust issues where there shouldn’t be any, and I need help before my next session with my therapist.