TW; SELFHARM, SUICIDE MENTION
I've been in a relationship for a few months and my boyfriend himself is struggling with his mental health. Recently he asked for space because well, whether I loved or hated this period is quite tough for him, but at the same time, it's quite hurtful for me and as much as I try not to mess things up and be considerate, I feel sincerely hurt, and mostly, I feel like he's eventually going to abandon me which is something I really fear. 
We've been friends for years and now and I know hes not that type of guy but I also know that he does his best to take care of my mental health &amp; not to trigger me but that's too much for him which can easily allow him to leave.

I have no clue how to deal with anything anymore, and these days I've only been having more suicidal thoughts, I don't think I even have a space to cut, my thighs are full of stitches. I always think it will get better, but everytime something happens to pull me deeper I don't think if it's worth trying anymore at this point.