I'm a 31yo dude living in Rural Australia. I have a wife, a 10 month old son, a job and a home. I shouldn't really have much to complain about, yet lately I am finding no joy in anything whatsoever. 

I gave up my dreams of being a sound designer for films/games 10 years ago. A lot of it had to do with my girlfriend (now wife) making it nearly impossible for me to pursue my true interests and perfect my craft. I always had to support her while we both studied. I eventually dropped out of the degree I was studying for and moved back to my rural hometown for her. I still feel resentment towards her for that. 

It's not as if I didn't try to make the most of things either, I tried for years after that to get an apprenticeship doing a trade. But no luck there as I didn't have a clue about any of that stuff and wasn't passionate about it. I just ended up working shitty manual labour jobs and fast forward 10 years that's what I'm still doing. 

Apart from my son,  I fucking hate my life. I feel so lost and lack the confidence I used to have in my early 20s to pursue anything. I can't even enjoy music or movies anymore. I used to sit there for hours playing music, writing, recording, editing and just being creative. Now, I pick up the guitar for 30 secs and just think what's the fucking point? I can't do anything with this now. 

I just don't know what to do anymore, I feel like I've slowly fucked up my life. I feel trapped in this town, there's no opportunity here unless it's mind numbing manual labour, my friends are all sexist nim-witted drunks, my wife controls every aspect of my life and to top it all off I work 50-60 hours every week and I still have to do desperate shit like sell my personal belongings to pay our bills. 

Seriously see no way out of this shitty situation apart from suicide.