This is going to be a long post so skip if you dont want to read much

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 I dont know how to start this but i feel like my life is pointless at this stage. My life at both school and home is a shit hole. At home i have a bitch ass of a dad who thinks hes hot shit, he spits on me, hits me and will NEVER admit he's wrong, even when it's obvious. i also get in trouble at home at least twice a week, getting hit, the getting hit part doesnt bother me im used to it but i've seriously considered trying to attack my parents back, a few days ago my dad screamed at me for playing games when i was supposed to study for my exams and then he started hitting me. I ran outside and grabbed a gardening tool and told him to stay off me and then i cut him in his hand but he managed to get hold of me. I dont know what the point of life is really, at this point i never study my exams and i never hand in my assignments and i honestly dont care at this point. On the topic of school, i got suspended twice last year, yes twice. I got into fist fights with other kids but i got suspended for longer since i started it or some shit but everyone at school knows im a freakshow, and my friends, i dont feel like they are really my friends, like friends but distant you know like i just hang with them so i dont look like an outcast. My mom took me to a therapist but the therapist just said shit about excersing and eating healthy and my mom uses that against me every time i dont feel like eating. My lifes a mess honestly, i dont know why im typing this out but ive been crying myself to sleep recently, i cant talk to anyone cause there's no one i can trust i can talk to. I'm the youngest in my family so i cant do shit, sometimes i just wanna bash the TV in because im so full of stress. 

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Im only 13 years old, i think i should put that out there but i feel helpless, i dont even know if im depressed but my life is a cycle of being happy for a day then being sad and angry for 3 days and then happy and again and again. I dont know what i can do, sorry for writing so much but i need to get my feelings out there so i dont beat the shit out of something.