For the longest of time I never understood why samurai could kill themselves, in such a gruesome way, just for a failure. But now I understand what it feels like to have totally, completely failed. Both in ones' own morals and in ones' duties. And I understand now that the pain of evisceration feels like a tickle compared to living with that for the rest of your life.

I wish our culture saw things as medieval Japan did. Then I could finally leave my wretched life, fall into endless sleep, and stop the endless pain without feeling guilty about those I leave behind. Everyone could just tell me it was good and right to let go.