I'm not sure if this requires a TW but here is one just in case. I also don't know where to post this so if this is inappropriate for this group, I'm sorry.

I noticed that lately, I've been casually planning on how to end my life. Like letters to write out, how my day is going to go and in general planning it out like any other day.

The thoughts "I want to die" and "please kill me" go through my head multiple times an hour everyday. I don't feel sad when I have these thoughts. They happen during the most mundane tasks like folding laundry or making dinner.

I've never said this out loud to anyone. Especially those I'm close to because I don't want to worry them. My dr doesn't seem concerned because I have a smile on my face when I talk to him about how I'm feeling. Instead, he just writes out a prescription increase and sends me on my way.

I'm not sure how much longer I can resist the urge to go through with my plans. Truth be told, the only thing keeping me from going through with it is my dog. I don't want to leave the earth without her. She's 17 years old and likely doesn't have much time left. When she's gone, I'll probably be gone too.

I'm not sure what I wanted to accomplish with this post other than it needed to be out in the world...