My dream was always to travel to as many countries and cities as possible. Since I was a child, my family was below the average salary and also very strict. I couldn't go when I was a teenager, I hoped when I entered university things would change.

For multiple reasons, I began having anxiety attacks in high school, and panic attacks since last year of high school. In college, my anxiety started doing better (after a hell of a ride), and little by little I managed to be a normal person. I also got a job, hence money for travelling, and I befriended someone who only once felt anxiety. She is a good friend, but she didn't really knew about my problems until recently.  


When we both had the money, we decided to go on a 3-day trip. Everything was planned, but in the day of the departure, I had my biggest panic attack (I was having anxiety days before because of the airplane), and she was there, and tried to encourage me, but I couldn't go. I was heartbroken. When I really thought that everything became normal, it did not. It really took me down. My heart was aching for 3 days, still is aching a little and I have lost all of my appetite and will. For 3 days I just stayed in bed.  


I offered to pay for her trip, since I was the one that cancelled. She said that we can travel another time, but the thing is after that day, she avoids me. She replies dry to my texts, doesn't send any messages. When I had to return something of hers, she and her roommate came and didn't even ask me how I was doing, they just took it and went away. She is not the type to care about what people do to her, so the fact that she is avoiding me really saddens me. I don't want to lose her as my friend, I don't care about the money anymore. What should I do? We have courses together and we will see each other, since out university friend group is the same , but I don't think she will think of me the same. It was her dream trip too, she wanted to go to that country a lot.   


What would you do in my place? Or maybe this happened to you too :(