Im not even going to start. I tried to post on these subreddits before but nobody answered. Its kinda funny honestly. I try to reach out to people in real life but they dont care. So i tried to at least get some help on the internet. But its the same thing here. I dont think my "friends" would care if i just dissappeared. Nobody would.

 Its funny how this year  turned out. I went into it miserable but around the summer it started to get better. And thrn all my fucking friends start acting like im a burden. The ones that don't act like that just tells me that im ugly annoying and should kill myself. And the others act like im not even a fucking person. I was treated like shit before because i was to trusting and nice to people. Then i was treated like shut for being mean amd angry all the time. Now im treated like shit just because. I have been to several therapists. After those visits i thought it would get better. Yeah right.

 I was friendzoned a couple of months ago and now she has started to act wierd around me too. My friend that ive had for 10 years just straight up told me that she never saw me as her friend. And im supposed to suck it up? Be a man? Fuck that. I havent cried in years. I dont even think i can anymore. I havent even reached 20 and i dont think i will either. Teachers at my school talk shit about me and tell me that i lie about my condition and also tell me that im annoying. Should i just end it? Like what do i have left? Both my grandfathers died.i looked up to both of them and i had so much respect for both of them. And now they dont exist anymore. Everyone i love and care about either die or push me away.


I always joke around and tell everybpdy im fine and im just full of shit. I wish somebody would care. Or just notice. Really just treat me like a normal guy. People tell me im wierd even tho i havent even said a word. Im bullied by every friend group i try to be a part of. The only thing i have left that i love are my parents and my cats. But i dont even think they love me anymore. They just act different to how they used to act. 


Please somebody just talk to me like im a normal person and not some freak. Just a hug or maybe an actual conversation would be fine. Just somebody tell me what i should do.