Hello together,

I'm just trying to get my current situation off my chest. 

I started my internship 2 1/2 months ago (40h/week + 10h commute). I am also super satisfied with the company and have there not too much stress.

Directly in advance:

**I know that I need therapy and am also currently looking for it**. I also have people around me that know about my situation. 

However in Germany, as a person who has already had therapy in the last two years, it is not very easy and fast to find something. Most of those therapists who are not full, simply reject me in principle, because they would have to reapply with me to the health insurance companies first. 

However, I now notice that my mental health suffers extremely. The weekend is not enough for me to rest, because you also want to do something and get out (the mental health also needs). During the week I always come home around 8 pm and then I usually fall into bed. 

I just don't understand how others can work much more without getting broken. And above all, I love my work, which is actually also my hobby, but for which there is no time at the moment.

My mood fluctuates between super good and completely depressed, it's almost like both at the same time. The work routine does me a hell of a lot of good and to have a reason to get up (so far student and self-employed). But at the same time then again the feeling that it's all too much and I just need a break. And alone this statement is already unpleasant to me, since it is simply a normal working time.... 

I just notice myself that my mental health is pulling in a very unhealthy direction right now and I'm afraid that I'll completely fall back into the hole I've been fighting my way out of for the last few years.

Even if I would miraculously find a therapist now, I actually couldn't combine it with my work time. And in an internship for 6 months you don't want to make any demands.

&amp;#x200B;

Maybe some people feel the same way. 

How do you reconcile your mental health with a normal working life?