I’ve had these episodes where I’m extremely impulsive and don’t care about anyone or even myself, it even contradicts my abandonment issues because I sabotage my relationships during these episodes. I usually do all types of drugs and self harm but I’m not sad, but every other emotion is heightened. I’m not sure if people with bpd can have manic episodes or if I’m just reading too much into these. Sometimes they really do scare me and I just want to make sure I’m not alone or I’m thinking about this the wrong way.