I never really had anxiety before this past year. I’d get overwhelmed but I’d never had a panic attack or anything. The pandemic has been really hard (shocker), with me having to adjust to online college courses and we moved out of the suburb we lived in and out into the middle of nowhere with bad internet and a 30 minute drive to see any of my friends. 
At college I’d drink and smoke weed just for fun and to fit in with the friends I had made, I don’t really care much for the stuff personally but I started really getting into it to ease stress this past year. I’d go to work and come home and have plans fall through with friends and just drink a few shots and smoke some bowls til I fell asleep, rinse and repeat for a week or two, and keep stumbling through virtual classes for a major I had found increasing disdain for. 
Then, just after Christmas, my gramma passed away from covid and I lost it. I drank way more than I ever had and smoked a bunch and ordered pizza and was trying to feel better. I was talking with my sister in the kitchen with a piece of pizza in my mouth and choked real hard. I won’t go into detail, but it was the scariest thing that I’ve ever experienced. 
And that was kinda when the floodgates opened. I had my first panic attack the next morning, and since then I’ve been fighting anxiety and I’m scared constantly. I sit and I’m at a resting heart rate and suddenly my mind is panicking like “check your pulse. Somethings wrong.” I eat something and my stomach gets upset and my mind panics and says I need to puke or I am gonna die. I have brain fog constantly and I’m failing all my classes because I can’t focus enough to sit down.
I quit drinking and smoking altogether. I got prescribed a low dose antidepressant for my anxiety and it has helped a bit, some days I even feel like I used to. But it never lasts, and things keep falling apart in my life, and I just want to feel normal. 
None of my old friends talk to me anymore, my s/o broke up with me, and I feel so aimless right now. I don’t know what to do anymore and I just want to feel better.