Can’t afford private therapy and all the therapy that can be covered by insurance is so booked up they don’t even queue people up anymore, the psych wards are all past capacity and even court mandated therapy isn’t getting received by the people close to me. It’s so depressing how fucked up the world is and I just want to get better but it seems impossible. I’m medicated, I have hobbies, I exercise, I try to eat well, and yet depression is still kicking my ass. I had to drop out of school because I just couldn’t handle the amount of stress and anxiety that came with it. I’m so ashamed of myself for being the way I am and just wish I could get better and didn’t have all this trauma weighing on me. Life sucks and everything is boring. I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel so hopeless and I hate myself. Whenever I start to do well I always spiral back down again, and I’m just tired of it all. I want to get better.