I’ve lost my sense of self. I don’t find joy in my old hobbies. I use to love gardening, working, being social with people I didn’t know, I’d love to paint and share music with people, I use to visit my family and did a really good job staying in touch. Now, I don’t know who I am. I don’t know what I’m good at, I don’t enjoy my hobbies, I don’t reach out to family, I’m not as excited for the future as I should be, I don’t know who I am anymore. I’ve been seriously considering suicide for a while now. I have things I hold on to that stop me of course, I don’t want to kill myself, because I don’t know who “myself” is. My question is, how to I regain myself back? The only thing I really look forward to anymore and am excited for is taking my fiancé’s last name as my own. I feel my mental stability declining, as well as my interest in anything. I have fleeting moments of happiness of course and I’m not always depressed, but it’s becoming more and more of a problem. How to I reach out to someone? How do I say, “Hey I know I’ve not given you any signs of problems nor do I think anyone would have noticed if I did, but I really want to just be dead.”?