My grandma across the world is dying. I'm sitting in my bed trying to finish a grad school essay for an application that's due tomorrow. I can't take off work tomorrow because so many people are actually sick and we're short-staffed as hell. 

I wish I could text my "FWB" because I feel so sad and I wish I could see him. Maybe because I like him. Maybe for the distraction. Only he might be with someone else because he does see other people. 

He said I was enough to satisfy him, so much more than enough, but he doesn't want to put himself in a position to be emotional dependent on anyone. My best friend reminded me that this isn't how any love story starts. 

My mind is all over the place. And I am lonely. And so alone. And my grandma is dying, and grandma, I'm so sorry that I'm thinking of anything else while I'm thinking of you and you're leaving us. I hope it doesn't hurt anymore.

I'm so sorry.