Okay so let me start by saying that I already think of myself as a piece of actual garbage, and I totally understand if after reading this some of you feel the need to remind me of it. With that being said, I never really dealt with anxiety or panic in my life up until about 5 months ago. I’ve been in the same relationship for almost 6 years. We live together and have 2 beautiful children. In the past, we were not very healthy in our communication. There were times where I would break up with her and go out and chase women, just to get back with her in the following days. I justified it in my head because we were “broken up”. This repeated itself for a few years. Well, 5 months ago I came clean about everything I had ever done. She was devastated naturally, but chose to give me another shot (she’s so fucking good and kind). Since that time, I’ve had terrible anxiety and panic attacks that come in waves. My self esteem is gone and I just generally hate being in my own head. I have lived exclusively for my family, started eating healthy, stopped smoking and drinking, got back in the gym, and anything else I could think of to lead the life of an honest and committed father/boyfriend. I feel such extreme guilt and shame for what I did in my past. My girlfriend wants me to move on and be present, but I just cannot get over this mental block. I was in therapy for 3 months, and I always see short term results. My headspace is like a crypto currency graph, up and down. I’m just a 26 year old guy who has every reason in the world to be happy, but cannot. Any advice is greatly appreciated