I was doing pretty okay, seeing my boyfriend twice a week, planning to see my friends (that I haven’t seen in months) in the holidays. Then bam, we’re having a lockdown, I won’t be able to see my friends. 

So all I’ve done for a week is not talk to anyone, not even use any platforms they know me from so they won’t see I’m active. I’ve just sat in my dark room, contemplating if I should just kill myself. I’ve been crying all the time, then staring at my wall blankly. I’m not responding to any texts whatsoever, part of me hopes they’ll get worried for me, but they haven’t and that hurts. The other part of me wants them to forget about me so I feel less guilty if I try to kill myself again.