I'll put a TDLR here just in case you don't want to read it all. My partner is my FP and we've been dating long enough now that we're 'settling down' and moving out of the honey moon phase and I'm struggling because my silly little black and white brain can't comprehend that the dynamic has changed. 

So my partner and I have been dating for going on four months now, and while I'm feeling proud that I've managed to maintain a relationship this far without sabotaging it, we've been transitioning out of the initial 'Honeymoon Phase'. This has led me to really struggle with the change in our dynamic. 

The thing I struggle with first and foremost is that we don't spend the same amount of time together as we used to. He spends more time with friends and tbh i don't have many friends. I have about four and two of them are a married couple with a child who we are both friends with and the other two I'm not *as* close with and don't see very often due to work and their own lives. TO MAKE THIS CLEAR: I do not wish to stop my partner from seeing his friends, I respect and understand his need for a fulfilling social life and I want him to be happy and maintain his connections outside of our relationship. As I mentioned before though, I don't have many friends. I live in a town in rural England and don't get much of a chance to branch out and even if I did I don't drive and have crippling social anxiety on top of the regular BPD crap that makes forming new relationships unreasonably difficult. This means he's the only person I spend regular time with and that time is a lot less now he's seeing friends more. 

Beyond this, I've also noticed things like we have sex less, due to time constraints and tiredness, we call less between weekends and he doesn't do the small gestures that make me feel warm and tingly anymore. I know this may seem small but I know that many of you will understand the need for validation I feel. I hate it but I feel massively insecure in relationships regardless and those small things meant the world. 

I'm seeking therapy through my work but I know that will take time and I was wondering if any of you had any advice to carry me through until I make real progress in therapy? Right now my black and white brain is SO convinced that it's because he has lost interest and no longer wants to see me even though he hasn't expressed this in the slightest. No matter how hard I try to logic my way into thinking clearly I have this horrible feeling in my gut that usually means that *I'm* about to unintentionally do something to end the relationship. It's happened so many times and I want this to be different. I really think this is my chance to make things work and learn how to be a healthy and functional partner. 

Again I know there are no quick fixes I'd just really appreciate some advice and skills i can try to use until I can properly dig into my therapy and start making progress. It's so frustrating knowing that there is part of me that can see and implement logical thought that's constantly overridden by BPD panic and fear of abandonment.