im abt 19 y/o &amp; a female. been wanting to do this for a while coz i read that writing abt ut feelings help if u cant say them. finally got around to doin it. been depressed for abt 2 yrs now. actaually my life pretty much sucked since i was a lil kid but i only realised it abt 2 yrs ago. theres so much to say but idk how to say it all. idc of ppl read this or not i just wanna let it out hoping it helps. please dont report me or smth for any reasons(ill prolly curse a lot).

ill start with my family. only child. parents fight a lot. dads a shitty dad n even worse husband. mum means well but has no one in her life other then me (literally) so she keeps me on a leash. im not allowed to leave the house unless one of my parents with me. shes a perfectionist (ironic ik) n she yells at me a lot. at 1st it dint matter to me but recently even the littlest mean thing she says to me makes me wanna cry.

speaking of crying , i keep it in n sometimes cry in the bathroom. sometimes i hurt myself but stopped after mum saw it once n asked me. i tolf her i feel while playing football(i dont play football)

i obviously dont have many friends since im not even allowed outta the house without my mum(or dad but shes a pos so i dont like him). i have a few frnds n they r pretty close n all but still cant tell em abt my life uk.

no 1 knows that my parents fight. they put up this image of a perfect family for evryone to see. ppl think that i dont leave the house bcoz im introverted. I AM INTROVERTED but id like to go out as well tho. 

&amp;#x200B;

theres a lot more to say but idk how to say it all. so ill stop now

just wanted to write smth here coz its been getting real bad. i see everyone else my age having such a nice life n then heres me. like uk its bad when u pray fro death every single night.

so bye and thanks for reading.