I’ve had crippling anxiety for as long as I can remember and with Covid, it got worse as I became more comfortable with isolation and that feeling of being safe in my home. Now that things are opening, I feel bad for telling my friends I can’t go to events because my anxiety is so bad and have even lost friends because it’s too much for them to deal with. I thought I would be able to try and handle a week long vacation in a place I’ve never been (something very very outside of my comfort zone) and haven’t stopped having panic attacks since I got there. Now it’s day 2 and I booked a flight home early because I genuinely can’t deal with it anymore. I’m unable to relax or even eat, it’s so bad. I also use marijuana frequently as it’s the only thing that calms the anxiety and I couldn’t get that either while on the vacation of course so I’ve been struggling a lot. I just wanna be like a normal functioning person who is able to go out and have fun and travel. I’m so terrified that I will never be able to do those things and live a fulfilling life.