I know I have mild depression before but I feel it becoming worse and worse each passing day.  It all started back in middle school when I used to have friends and classmates I talked to and hang out during recess to play monster tag.  However, I didn’t know how to socialize back then and I still don’t know how to “properly socialize” even to this day.  Whenever I talked to girls, my messages gets misinterpreted or I accidentally say the wrong thing to which the other party becomes uncomfortable and offended.  When I ask them if there is a problem or if I say or did anything wrong, they would lie and say no to “spare my feelings” which really hurts me in the end.  I am damn near 22 years old now and I haven’t been happy in a long time since 11 years old.  I really don’t have any friends except my middle school friend Matt whom I still text and hang out when I get the chance.  The past four years in Stony Brook, I haven’t been able to make and kept a single friend in this crappy school.  I would ask guys and girls to hang out or study to which we sometimes do or I get the excuse of how they are “busy” or they have plans or if a girl, she has a boyfriend and he would get jealous or smth.  Recently, I tried making a new friend in class two weeks ago, but didn’t realized I was coming on too strong and texting her too much.  She was very friendly and nice, but I f*cked up after saying “if she was single, I would ask her out” even knowing she has a boyfriend whom she has been with for five years.  I meant it as a compliment and didn’t mean much by it, I understand that it came off as hitting on her, but I guess I was trying to say she vibe very well with me even as a “platonic friend.”  Now, she doesn’t want to study with me anymore and feels uncomfortable from what I have said and only will work with me and the rest of my group on a project; I know I am in the wrong here, but I really didn’t think it would lead to her not wanting to be friends at all anymore.  The depression is getting worse and worse because now I feel less motivated to study for school especially as a senior undergrad and have even more thoughts on wanting to end myself and wishing I was dead or that I wish everyone else on this world was dead so I can be the only one left without giving a sh*t about anything anymore.  Of course, I have my family who loves and cares about me, but my social life is such a mess and really takes a toll on me for wanting to make new friends.  I have been speaking to a counselor the past two months or so, but I am not sure what else I should do and if I should take medications for this kind of thing? 😔