My 2020 was spent being thrown like a rag doll from right wing to left wing, back and forth.

My opinions on the news would shift wildly over night. I’d pick up on which groups were painted as “good” or “evil” and I’d split on the other side for awhile before splitting again.

I’d view Republicans as evil than the democrats than trump supporters than antifa then COVID deniers than COVID pushers.

Of course with that splitting, paranoia, worry, anger, and crippling fear would follow me. Not to mention guilt for my old position whenever I switched sides.

I realized why after awhile; I was

a) Addicted to doomscrolling and 

b) Easily swayed by emotional headlines.

There was an article for every emotion, something to amplify whatever I was feeling at the time. I was using the news as a proxy to let out and validate emotions from my personal life. 

My mom doing something to make me angry? Instead if being angry at her, I would search for angry news and let out emotions that way. Worried about not being able to find a job? I’d search for worrying news and let emotions out that way.

The articles would amplify those emotions, and Id just end up feeling worse than I would had I dealt with the emotions head on.

News spoke to me on a completely illogical and emotional level. Articles painted the world in solid black and white absolutes.

The news was destroying my relationships, worsening my BPD and causing daily panic attacks.

So I went newsdark and I now identify as a recovering news addict.

Can anyone here relate?