My girlfriend is without a doubt my favourite person in the world. She's the sweetest, most patient, most understanding partner anyone could ever hope for. I'm beyond lucky to have her and I 100% do not deserve her one bit. I HATE how much I put her through. 

We had an argument just now. By "argument" I mean I was flipping out over a minor thing she said while the poor girl was stuck dealing with my outburst. Objectively the trigger was nothing bad; she just accidentally pressed some buttons that are 100% a me problem and not her doing anything malicious. The worst part is the entire time I was flipping out I was FULLY AWARE I'm overreacting but for whatever reason just kept going because I'm an inconsiderate idiot. 

We're doing long distance at the moment for reasons I won't go into for privacy reasons but for some context we dated and lived together a really long time before going into this arrangement (there's no way I'd have ever agreed to distance with anyone else lol). 

We have a 12 hour time difference and she's been staying up late to talk to me, tomorrow she's got something important she needs to be up for in the morning so she wanted to go to bed early ish, but of course me being the inconsiderate drama queen I am start my nonsense at like midnight her time (exhibit #5929473 of me being a shitty terrible partner who doesn't deserve her one bit). We always say good night and I love you before bed. The only exceptions being a few occasions where one of us falls asleep accidentally, and its no biggie because usually there's no tension or anything at the time that happens. 

Well this time we 'finish' our 'argument' but I'm being quiet and moody with her, and I notice she hasn't said anything or been online in quite a while so I assume she's fallen asleep. Rationally I understand she's probably tired from all the late nights recently and passed out or something but as you can guess the fact she didn't say good night or I love you before that is eating me up a little bit. The crazy part of my brain is convinced this is it this is it she's finally sick of me and didn't say it on purpose because she didn't want to keep talking to me and risk me continuing my antics. Of course I'm going to apologize when she wakes up, and I'm not sure what the point of my post is. I guess I figured better to vent here than burden the poor girl with super long paragraph texts like I do all the time. I remember seeing someone post the other day saying they wish more guys posted, so lol here you go, one fresh crazy guy for you mid craziness. 

I'm sorry darling. I'll do better controlling my emotions, I promise.