This happened about a month ago, I was seeing this guy for about 3 months everything was going pretty well (kind of lol looking back I was pretty unhealthily attached)  but one night I just decided to get ridiculously drunk (I don't even know why I did that) he wasn't responding to my messages like he usually did, so started blowing up his phone with repeated messaged still no reply so I got really upset and panicky and went to his house at 10pm at night and he tried to end things with me because yeah it was super inappropriate and bit clingy 😅  i was distraught, felt like he just punched me in the heart and out of pure fear, desperation and panic i told him I had been drinking excessively because my grandad just died (he did not die, well he did but 6 years ago) he decided ok that's a good enough reason.
The next day when I was sober i realised what the hell I had done, I didn't tell him the truth but I did call it off with him because I could see what was happening and how dependant I had started to become on him

I feel so much shame and guilt about it still and keep beating myself up about this constantly and I don't know how to move on from this, I just feel like a horrible person.
I haven't told anyone about it but to be honest my friends don't really understand why I get so attached and then panicked when someone tries "abandoning" me