I'm 16 year old female. I currently have a diagnosis of anxiety disorder, but I found the "Evolving BPD" note in my records. In the past I have dealt with cutting myself. I didn't use it as a coping mechanism, I did it because I liked to LOOK at the cuts on my skin after they had healed a bit. Its was weird. But i'm over that phase now, and if I even attempt to cut myself now(To feel something other than anxiety) I actually feel disturbed and guilty that i'm harming my body.

I have these episodes where I get suicidal for months, then I have an average mood for months, then I get suicidal again. Sometimes I feel ecstatic and on top of the world, but it never lasts more than a day. Its the best feeling ever. Right now i'm deeply depressed and have been for about 4 days. I threaten suicide often. Its like a coping mechanism for me, knowing I always have the option. Its been like this for 2 years now. I think the self harm and suicide threats contributed a lot to the diagnosis. 

I get angry VERY easily and break down a lot. I am always on edge. I am extremely judgmental towards my family, everything they do annoys me and there is a lot of tension in my house because of my anger. My dad often tells me he doesn't give a shit how I feel, he wants me to leave etc. 

When I was hospitalized, I wanted to feel safe and "taken care of". When I came off of 24/7 suicide watch, and another girl my age got put on one, at first I felt jealous that I didn't have a nurse right beside me anymore, although I got over it once we became friends. But when I heard the nurses and her talking/laughing/conversing I felt EXTREME anger and wanted to just yell shut the fuck up! I felt like all the nurses liked her more. 

I'm questioning the "Evolving BPD" because I don't fit the full criteria.. I have frequent suicidal thoughts, yes. I USED to self harm. I never feel "empty" inside. I have no fear of abandonment(Not even sure what "abandonment" is classified as in this case), I don't have dangerous impulsive behaviour(Such as sex, drugs, spending etc). I have superficial mood swings, but in reality, how i'm feeling never changes. I'm always anxious or on edge, and I think the moods come from the anxiety getting higher/lower.

I think I may have traits, but I don't believe I have the evolving actual disorder, because i've been mentally ill since I was 5 or 6. I've had a fairly good childhood(Besides the crippling anxiety). I wasn't neglected or abused. What do you think I should do?