For context I am 19F and have suffered from anxiety my whole life, but it got worse and developed into health anxiety when I was 15 due to my dad being diagnosed with cancer (and his later passing) and a bad virus that left me bedbound for 2 weeks. I've also had emetophobia (fear of vomiting) since age 4, and that worsened when the health anxiety did. I've been in therapy for coming up 9 months now and I've really improved, but I'm at a loose end and I'm terrified.

Ive been doing really well with my anxiety and keeping it under control up until Thursday night. At about 1am I started having a fair bit of anxiety and that impending sense of doom. Then when I sat up it felt like I was swaying/falling, kind of like vertigo but I don't know if that's what it was? Anyway that freaked me out horribly because it gave me a horrid reminder of what I was like this time last year. October - December 2020 was probably the worst my anxiety has ever been - I even got referred to the early intervention psychosis team because I was on the verge of a psychotic breakdown - and I'm absolutely terrified of getting to that point again. I didn't leave the house, I could barely eat, I felt dizzy and anxious all the time and basically had a non stop headache. I diagnosed myself with every disorder under the sun and was terrified of going to the doctor's incase there actually was something up because I just wouldn't know how to cope. It's the worst I have ever felt and the anxiety I've experienced over the past two days feels very similar to what I was like then.

I had ended up taking a cyclizine (antisickness tablet) as I was terrified this dizziness would make me throw up. Every time I closed my eyes it felt like i was falling. The cyclizine makes me drowsy and I ended up simply passing out from exhaustion. Friday morning I got up and ready for work, still feeling wobbly and dizzy and not quite right. I went in to work but pretty much left immediately because I couldn't calm myself down enough to go onto the shop floor. Today I went to a football match that was organised as a memorial for my dad (it'll be 2 years since his death on November 4th) and though I was anxious and a little dizzy, I managed. I had a panic attack on the train there but I managed to get it under control. It's now 10pm and I'm supposed to be at work tomorrow and I'm terrified. I feel so stressed and anxious about going, I'm worried I'll get dizzy and won't be able to work. I'm terrified of losing my job or seeming incompetent. If I don't go in I'll just be mad at myself, but I know I'm gonna be anxious being there. I cannot think of what would be the best option here. I have college on Monday too which I'm stressed for.

I just feel like I can't think of a solution to any of the issues I'm facing right now and I'm growing desperate. I cannot get to the state I was last year. I have so many responsibilities and things that need to be done, I just don't have the time to be poorly.

If anyone has any advice at all I would be so so grateful. Do you reckon the dizziness is an anxiety symptom? Should I go to the doctor's? If I did, what would I even say? Should I message a crisis team? I'm at a complete loose end here please someone help me