If you are easily triggered I suggest not reading this.. I get triggered personally by almost every post I read so I don't really have a good gauge for that.. I will also feel like a fool if this is not triggering at all..

I have had plenty of anxiety attacks and what I thought were panic attacks at work but today I finally had one so bad I had to go home early which causes the normal stress about keeping job etc.. I'm afraid this is the beginning of a trend. I have a co-worker who goes home early lots but she doesn't have nearly as much responsibilities as I do. Not too mention her mental health took a turn for the worst and she's making comments about my Mother who works there. I've had to repress many an emotion of hey that's my mom leave her the f alone but I fear I'm gonna snap. The longer I deal with anxiety the harder it is to.. maintain appearances. Btw am taking medication, I was doing CBT for a while and just when they started taking it seriously they sent me off to someone else because they said I'm doing better. CBT in my opinion has made me aware that they aren't actually trying to "fix" the problem. They just explain to you why you're feeling that way and explain it's totally normal. But when faced with family or in this case work situations provide no actually skills to help you. My new councilor is providing me with skills and resources now.. years later.. And I'm noticing people around me don't want me to improve my mental health or become better because it's the pandemic now. Everyone is so petty they just say they are under stress too but have no inkling of a clue of what I've been going through for the past 5 years. I have the counseling profession at a stand still.. They said.. Have you tried telling them? Well.. Maybe it's just my age 30's or my work environment but most people don't relate/care. And talking about it doesn't seem to help, it would make them aware of how I'm personally feeling but I'm just a number. And so far I have not seen an inch of improvement in my work environment for doing so. I have heard the words "we care about you" but I feel like it's a mockery. Anyway HI! I'm taking to reddit now. I personally feel like the mental health care system is not made to fix anything although sadly it's the only option. I feel like getting help is better than getting no help. So there's that. If you made it to the end of this rant I salute you and you get a free internet hug.