So long story short I’ve started to talk to a girl I used to be best friends with (who I work with) and we both realised the causing of our fall out was just because we both misunderstood the situation that happened at the time. We added each other back on social media and all weekend I’ve been in my head waiting for her to reply to my messages and thinking I’ve done something wrong like oh why isn’t she messaging me back, she’s seen it so I must have said something wrong… basically I have no friends because I don’t leave the house apart from work and my workplace is not a good environment to be in therefore I haven’t made any other close friends through work. When we started talking I was like omg I’m not going to be lonely anymore, I’m going to start going out again to pubs with her etc. And when I saw that she wasn’t messaging me how I wanted her to message me I got so worked up, It’s sad I know 

After exchanging messages I got it in my head she only wanted to speak to me about work gossip due to some things she said, so I had a quite severe anxiety attack and went downstairs to try and confide in my mom about the situation, it ended up in a huge argument with my parents about how I’m selfish and only talk about myself and I need to get a grip as not everyone is on their phone 24/7. I realised how stupid it is I’ve spent the whole weekend crying and being unable to focus on anything else because I was waiting on this girl to give me a one word message back. This situation alongside a depressive episode I’m going through has kicked me into getting help. 

I have had CBT before but was really unsure of what my problem was because I had so much going on in my head that it didn’t work at all and in-fact made me feel worse because I felt like I couldn’t be helped. I went on antidepressants which just made me feel numb, came off them and now I’m in a very bad state

I just hope CBT works for me this time round because I’m now aware of how miserable I’m making other people because of my constant negativity and overthinking which for whatever reason I can not help myself.