(description of delusion) 

hi, my name is quinn and i have very recently been diagnosed with schizoaffective type bipolar disorder. i was in psychosis for two weeks and finally i’m out of it, but while in psychosis i had a delusion me and a boy in my class where in a borderline abusive relationship and i had told my best friend about. the boy caught wind of it and, since we where clearly not in this relationship, was rather confused and confronted administration, but by the time they caught my delusion i could barely remember it and was in an extremely confused state. 

there’s a lot more details about it i could share, but the boy, administration, or even my own schizophrenia is not what i’m worried about, i’m worried about my best friend. she hasn’t texted me since it happened. i posted on my close friends story on instagram a few days later explaining what happened to me in psychosis and that i wasn’t lying, i did believe it, and that i was so sorry to the boy and the other people i hurt, and that i will be getting better now that the issue was addressed. she didn’t reply to that but she saw it. maybe it’s my anxiety getting the best of me, but i’m so worried she won’t be my best friend anymore because of what happened. she hasn’t unfollowed my spam or untagged me from anything, but she hasn’t talked to me. i think she might’ve taken me off her close friends story. 

we have been best friends since we where 12 and we have done everything together. i tell her everything and she tells me everything. for an entire summer we called for hours everyday playing on a minecraft world where we lived on an island. we have plans to travel the country together, to make a youtube channel and steam together, we even dated for a week. she is my platonic soulmate and if there was nobody else in the world, as long as she was there i would be just fine. i didn’t think it was possible to miss someone this much. i’m afraid to reach out to her because i don’t want to experience it going south, but what if she’s afraid of reaching out to me? 

i understand there is going to be a trust issue now, but i will work through that. i will do anything for her. i have no idea what to do. i just want her back and i’m so scared. what do i do???