I'm starting to get used to the fact I'll be diagnosed with BPD soon. I've always looked at this subject as "they don't know what I got yet, I have lots os symptoms that BPD can't explain". Turns out they're all BPD symptoms as well and I don't see any way out of it anymore. I mean, I want a diagnose. I want to know for certain what the heck is going with me, I want to be able to explain to people why I act the way I do, even if not using it as excuse. I just want to feel people understand me, but I also want to be loved. Why the hell can't  I love myself for god's sake? Why can't I interact with people without fearing they'll leave me? Why can't I interact with people without the fear I'll hurt someone?