I have been better since last year. Basically 10 months free of the threatening, the extreme moods, etc. I do know how to control myself and it takes time to get with where I am at.

Before I start, I know I am in a toxic relationship. She name calls me when she gets mad. I threathen and have this extreme mood swings where I love her and go from absolutely hating her when she name calls me. She blocks me and calls me a POS, and I would chase after her to get some form of 'justice' or explanation.

But, right now, I feel so sad. My other half basically said "you're a threat" and refused to share an information with me because of my past. It was a normal convo and she wanted to share it with me but just stopped and said that.

 Basically she was being a horrible person to me, called me names like "you're a POS. You're disgusting, I can't believe I'm w a degenerate like you" and I screenshotted it and said I'll send it to her work to show what a "nice" person she is.

She got mad and said to not do it and I didn't of course. I did it to get it to talk to me and not just block and ignore me. 

I'm not that fucking person anymore. It hurts. I know what I did is wrong but having someone who doesn't trust you hurts.