Some days I can keep everything under control. I find my thoughts taking a turn for the dark side and I remember my coping mechanisms. I can go all day keeping everything on a loose leash. Then one thing little thing happens and all of a sudden everything Ive been holding back starts running wild. I get angry, frustrated, then Im sad and lonely and pissed off because Im feeling all these emotions at once. I feel like every time I lose control I start back at zero trying to rebuild myself and then Im just tired and want to shut down for the day. Fuck.