BPD is a disease. It’s incurable and fckng irriating. It ruins all of my relationships and hurts all of the good things I ever have in life. I swear I can’t have nice thing. 
It ruins the work environment, it ruins friendships, relationships. I’m constantly thinking people hate me or what the fuck did I do to make them dislike me. “Did I say something wrong? That’s why they’re talking to me like this”. I’m SO OVER THINKING THOSE THOUGHTS! EVERY DAY! I start a new job and tell myself “ok this is IT. I am going to be different” and of course. Around the 8 month mark some shit always has to happen. 

My boss talks shit about me and always has 
something to say about what I do or how I look. YES, I have an RBF but I can’t help that it’s my fucking face. My boss has even told me I only have that face when I’m not talking. Why does it even matter to them what my face looks like as long as I’m fucking do my job and being nice/cordial to everyone in the office. It’s always an issue with people. I’m not a LOUD person either. I come into work at the crack ass of dawn and you expect me to start yelling and jumping on the table? Why because I’m fucking a quiet person?? Jesus Christ can I fucking clock in??? I’m sick of feeling this way. 

I’m thinking about getting Botox just so people can shut the fuck up and stop telling me I look pissed off. I’m just so over this. Voices in my head constantly telling me people hate me or I’m doing something wrong or I’m about to get fired. I’m so sick of feeling this way. 
I cant even cry anymore. I have no energy for anything anymore. I’m trying I’m fucking trying everyday to deal with all the bullshit this fucking ILLNESS causes me to feel and think and do. I don’t know what the fuck else to do at this point. Fuck everyone and fuck everything. I’m a nice ass person. People can go fuck themselves. I have a shitty bitchy ass passive aggressive petty ass boss who just sits there and gossips about every little god damn thing. I want to quit.