i know that obviously mood stabilizers do what the name implies, and they have done so much to help me regulate my emotions along with going to therapy all that fun stuff

but i literally cant remember the last time i genuinely felt happy. i have moments when im laughing with my friends or my sister and i feel good for those few seconds but my brain will always go back to the default numb state immediately after

this realization kinda hit me when i was at my favourite beach this summer and i felt like i should have been happy, but i wasnt, i just felt indifferent

is there a way to overcome this somehow? without lowering my dosage