my mom is getting invasive surgery on the first day i meet my long distance partner.

so first off i am in my 20s living with my mom. i have severe anxiety, agoraphobia and am autistic among other things. i am very dependant on her. i havent a log distance partner ive been with for a year now. im extremely excited to see him, but i am also apprehensive because i had been sexually assulted by an exboyfriend of mine. 

my mom when to the doctor to check on something recently and the doctor found a strange looking mass which was unexpected. it could be LITERALLY anything. colorectal cancer runs on my family and surprise, thats the area they saw the mass. i am beyond terrified. it also just so happens that the soonest day they could do the surgery is the same day my partner is flying in to visit and we had been already planning this visit for months.

i dont want my mom to put her surgery off because of my partner visiting, but my mom insisted that he still come and visit. my mom is going to be on alot of pain meds and recovering from an anesthetic as well. im scared for her not acting “normal” i need things to be normal.

my partner is very kind and understanding of my needs at least through long distance and online. its all set for him to come still, but im very anxious and having second thoughts. i really want to see him, but im not sure if i could handle it without my mom. im thinking of asking my partner to get a hotel while he visits instead of staying at my apartment with my mom and i and visit during the day, but let me have time to recover socially at night. my mom said shed pay for the hotel for him, but im not sure if itd be rude to ask that of him. 

overall i just want reassurance and advice. im so terrified of something bad happening to my mom and im scared that i wont have my main in person support when meeting mg partner face to face for the first time. i just want to know that things will be okay, but there are so many unknowns in this situation, i really am terrified. i dont know how to cope or what to do. i havent gotten good sleep in two days now as the day draws near. the surgery and visit are happening on november 15th and my partner will be leaving on the 20th.