my mom doesn't believe that i was diagnosed with depression and bipolar disorder. i needed money for medications but she won't give me. i stopped going to Psychiatrist because it's too expensive and we have a fucked up public health system that's why i don't rely on Psychiatrist in our community hospital.

last night i was asking mom about something i was looking for. i didn't know what got her mad but i think it's because i was constantly asking her about it and she started kicking me. i shouted at her and told her why was she kicking me. she then told me i was rude for talking back and said that i was "psychotic". she then started to yell at me and i was trying to ignore her. 

she has been verbally and emotionally abusive to me since i was teenager. she thinks i am always rude and the blacksheep of the family but i am really trying so hard to be a better person but she keeps on making me the worst person i could ever be whenever she provoke me. that was just one word she called me but i keep on thinking about it until now.