I think I have bpd but I am unsure but it seems to explain a lot of my past but I dont really know what to do. I can't tell my parents cause they are so good to me and I know it would crush them to know I have depression and bpd and that they would blame themselves for it and they don't deserve that. I haven't seen a therapist I refused even though my mum wanted me to (like 4 years ago now) apparently I was having severe mood swings and being etither really nice and loving to everyone or being a dick and hating them plus I got really emotional easily (intense anger and or sadness) but after my mum said I was going to a therapist I screamed at her and just started blocking off all my emotions so it stopped being a problem. However recantly I have become very depressed and suicidal and I was Googling mental ilnesses (not trying to self diagnose I just enjoy it) and stumbled across bpd started reading the symptoms and suddenly a lot of things made sense to me but I don't feel that it's worth it telling them cause I know they will be supportive and that always makes me feel so shitty knowing people give a fuck about the train wreck that is me except on the outside I am a perfectly normal gaming obsessed teen but they don't know that I play games that piss me off intensionaly to try and get the anger out of me they don't know the hole in my wall is from when I threw my controller across the room at it they don't know anything about me and truthfully neither do I. But by far the scaryist thing about me is (from my pov) is that I am both suicidal and manipulative so when I get the voice telling me to kill myself it is very convincing. I don't know what made me make this post but I don't really know anything anymore thanks if you read the whole thing and sorry if it upset you I know there's a lot of sensitive people online (no offence) bye.