I saw someone post about wanting to be murdered not only do I want that but I always want bad things to
happen to me.

I imagine getting in a car crash and going to the hospital or jumping off a cliff. Not sure if it’s the suicidal ideation or a combination of wanting attention. 

Everyday I have these scenarios of things that I’ve seen on tv or in movies happen. Especially because I want one of these things to take me out.

Now I have karma because I have carpel tunnel. I just want something bigger to happen to me to put me in the hospital for months. Sometimes I just wish I could take a break from life and imagine that.