I'm 20 now, I didn't think I'd make it past 14 and for the past six years, its really fucked me up trying to learn how to handle thinking of the future. College wasn't something I really thought about, its expensive and for a long time I didn't see it as worth the expense and trouble because I thought it was wasted on someone like me. But I'm starting to entertain the idea a little now that I'm working on my GED?  
I dropped out of high school a few months before my 'final' year ended because I knew I wasn't going to graduate because of credit holes and bad grades and it stressed me out so bad I needed a break. Covid happened, I was nearly forced out of my home like many people were during the height of the pandemic. Stress after stress....and yet when I look up what people want in a college essay about me and 'why college', 'why this school' , it seems like explaining the above...is seen as really taboo.   
I don't know, maybe I'm reading into it incorrectly, but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Part of this is a bit of a vent, but really, for those who have had that similar experience of trying to learn how to think of the future when one didn't seem possible, how did you handle this kinda situation if you ended up going to college?