I was so angry about this earlier today but I calmed down a little enough to write about it. So basically I have BPD, diagnosed by a psychologist, but that’s not the center point of this story. Anyway, a few months ago I bought my partner the Stop Walking On Eggshells book to help them deal with my BPD traits, but was astounded by the book’s misinformation and stigma against people with BPD, and also that it related little to my actual symptoms. So I tossed the book onto my shelf and forgot about it. Later I went over to my partner’s parents house and noticed they had the same book. I didn’t think much of it until my partner’s sister was moving out of our house and noticed SHE had the same book among her belongings. So my partner asked their mom about it, and I was so shocked to learn that the family had all gotten the book to deal with my partner, who does NOT have BPD. My partner has had some difficulty dealing with their parents and family, especially because my partner is very outspokenly progressive and trans which has caused some friction with the family, who is pretty middle of the ground politically speaking. Apparently, after my partner had a fight with their aunt, the aunt (who used to be a therapist) bought my partner’s mom the SWOE book and said “I’m pretty sure (my partner’s name) has BPD and you can use this book to deal with them.” This is fucked up though, because the fight was over my partner’s aunt being stingy with her money (the aunt is wealthy) and my partner called her out for it. anytime my partner’s family members do or say something fucked up my partner calls them out for it, which can lead to some pretty big (and I’ll admit often unnecessarily so) arguments. My partner is a pretty sensitive and combative person in that sense. Anyway, the point is my partner’s family basically self diagnosed them with BPD just because they’re sensitive, outspoken, and prone to fights. Not only that, but they basically blamed my partner’s BPD for being the sole reason they have these tensions and have taken no responsibility for the fact that they act shitty often and also misgender and deadname my partner all the time. I know my partner well and they do NOT have BPD. They have none of the traits besides being sensitive, which is not specific to BPD. I was outraged by this not only because it means they basically blame my partner for all their problems, but they also just add stigma to the BPD diagnosis by assuming it means that someone is difficult to deal with. I did eventually message my partners mom (who I actually do really like) about it and explained basically everything I’ve said here, and she was actually pretty cool about it. But I’m still so mad about the stigma surrounding the disorder and that it just means that someone is difficult to live with/manipulative/etc. Stop Walking On Eggshells is also a horrible book, not because it’s unhelpful, but because it equates BPD with being manipulative and difficult. AND my partners aunt was one of those therapists who believes in all the stigma surrounding BPD. Funnily enough, I honestly think I’m easier to get along with than my partner and I’m the one who actually has BPD. Rant over. I hope some of this made sense.