Hello guys, I’m in training for my dream job. It’s very strict and stressful (a month long), but will be worth it. The main BPD symptom that affects me is paranoid ideation, believing and having anxiety that people are out to get me in trouble, plotting against me or have ill intentions for me. For example, yesterday I made a friend in the lobby and they wanted to take a selfie. I had my mask on but the other 2 in the photo did not (I was 6 feet away from them). I did the selfie but afterward was paranoid the guy was undercover for the program I’m in and would send it to the program. This stems from childhood trauma, was victim of institutional child abuse. This paranoia is very severe in the way it emotionally impacts me. Feels impossible to self soothe in these paranoid states. I know that it’s not realistic logically, but my emotions don’t line up and they take over. Need advice urgently from people who have also had this very bad as well and how they coped . I don’t have access to a therapist this month, too busy. Meds don’t work for me. Need tools I can use affective today. Thank you so much.