(Bipolar 2) I am currently in the worst depression of my entire life. I haven't been able to work, I can hardly function in day to day life, I have pervasive thoughts of suicide, I'll stay in bed for days at a time only getting up to use the bathroom and drink water and sometimes eat like crackers. 

So what did my psychiatrist decide to do? She wants to take me off my lexapro so that I don't go into a manic state. I have literally only ever been hypomanic once and that is when I was on too high of a dose of adderall. During that time I applied to graduate school and had a lot of sexual partners and had a really clean apartment so that was just sooooooooo terrible. I can totally see why that's more important than treating how I have felt like absolute garbage for the past 9 months. 

I'm not even sure I really have bipolar disorder or if I just have treatment resistant monopolar depression with a family history of bipolar depression. I'm not sure I even believe in the validity of the DSM. I just want to feel better and feel hopeless that that will ever happen. At this point I have no faith in therapy or psychiatry.