Hello. I have one of those FPs (boyfriend) who is probably with me because I have begged him to stay numerous times.

Sometimes he is nice and I could even feel loved, but then he gets angry out of nowhere, and says I'm annoying for loving him too much and stops talking to me, or worse.

I am 28 but my body hurts all the time and I have the energy of a sick grandma, so, I am considering suicide, and currently looking for reasons NOT to do it.

I have no job, nor dreams, and only two friends. So this are the reasons to stay that I've got so far:

1. Playing board games with my daughters (the only thing I have the energy to do with them).

2. Laughing with my only 2 friends (but we almost never see eachother)

3. Reading thrillers (my only hobby)

And that's it. It doesn't seem like enough to stay and endure this pain. I love my kids but I am a terrible mom who can't even get out of bed. Should I just give up and die? Or how do I find any more reasons to live?