When it comes to guys, if they’re super clingy and needy and sensitive I fuck with their heads and tell them I want to be with them when in reality I don’t. I just appreciate the attention they gave me. I repeatedly called things off with this guy once because he would leave me voicemail after voicemail crying, begging for me to talk to him and I got off on that.

If they’re abusive and distant and cold and gaslight me and ghost me and don’t even want me, it’s almost like a drug. I hate it but I can’t stay away. Wtf is wrong w me.

But when they’re normal and a genuinely good guy, that’s the fucking worst.  Because I’m freaking myself the fuck out about whether or not they’re are truly as nice as they say they are. Are they fucking w me? Is this a set up?