Hello all, thanks for coming here today. So, I have been taking actual actions today to help better my brain and my outlook on life. I went for a run, came back home to get some water, and then I took a long walk afterwards. I listened to JoN Kabat Zinn and how mindfulness is staying in the present moment. 

I am no one to give advice to others, I just want to relate what worked for me. Getting out and about was good for my body and my brain. It was also useful for me to practice being mindful and in the moment. *My name is Turtlphant. I am walking up a hill. That is a crow. "SMEEEELL" aaaahhhhhh* Pointing out things that I am experiencing by living in the moment. 

So thats my experience today, and I wanted to share that with you. However, I do have a question for those with more experience. I am now at home, and am dissociating more than I want to. I usually get very tired and sleepy and I can type this even as I am dissociating right now because I planned to do so when I was present, but I cannot form plans in my dissociated state. The next step is not possible to imagine. How does one do this forever? It seems like it would take so much work doing this for the rest of my life. I could barely do it while taking a walk, much less in other situations that are more stressful like work or being with friends. Any advice is appreciated!

Edit : I guess my main question is, how do you not dissociate when you oh so badly want to? It just easier to leave your mind. When I think of the stress im feeling, and I just don't know how to deal with it. Then, its not even a choice, i just go to zombie mode. Its effortless to dissociate, and takes immense energy to come back.