First post I've ever made, kinda scared about post this because to be fair this is a huge online space but I have no one else to go to so here it is I(F20) have been struggling with depression my entire life (i was diagnosed with major depression at a young age) , it co exist with other mental illness that I won't get into here when I do happen to be depressed it feels like a huge truck hits me and I feel helpless and scared I have a boyfriend(M22) and we are fairly new, but I've know him for a couple years before (we are long distance but have met, and will be again soon.) decided to let him know how I felt about him before we got serious I had let him know about my past with my family my history of mental illness etc. I do this to ensure that when I do fall into a pit that they might have a better understanding/background on why or how to help me, a little background my family life wasn't very good and I was told I was overreacting alot when it came to very serious mental problems and I tried alot to get help when I was younger but my resources were limted due to my family and thus I bottled up my emotions for a very long time and that's how its been up until this point my boyfriend has helped me so much with getting better on telling him how I feel, or what is wrong in the moment but I recently hit another wave of depression and I feel like I'm too much, like I'm putting all these things on him that he doesn't deserve because he is perfect in my eyes, I've never been so in love with someone and had someone care so deeply for me even at my worst I get these random times where I find myself crying at him despite not even being sad over something specific I feel like this pain just swallows me whole and then I just cry and I can't get out what I want to say and it repeats because I've bottled so much up for years. He has started becoming increasingly worried and has made comments basically implying that he's scared because I am so mentally ill or implying when I'm just blabbing about something I like (I tend to go on 30 minute tangents about nonsense I'm interested in) that I'm sounding/acting manic I feel like it's becoming overbearing for him and all he sees now is a woman who is manic and mentally unstable when he does make these comments it in turn makes me feel worse about the entire situation because even if I'm just talking about something I enjoy it suddenly becomes about my mental health, I don't want him to feel like he has to be worried for me all the time and that I can't handle my depression despite the times that I am sad and when I do cry to him it has become this cycle of him getting worried and then when I say it's okay he feels bad and I feel it has just become too much for him.

Sorry if this was long or confusing but I needed some insight/advice on what I could do to help this situation 
TLDR:I feel like my mental illness is causing issues in my relationship need advice