as i see a lot of, ive always had trouble wanting to stay at my job. but beyond that, i find it increasingly difficult to even... try to get a job in the first place. its like the more places i go to, and the more i hate these random jobs i do, the more i hate the idea of working at all. right now i have all of 15$ and im dwindling on food, my girlfriend is the only one working, and i was about to be hired at a job but after a trial shift i decided i just did not want to keep going, and on top of it always seems like everything goes wrong at the worst times when my mental health is so fragile.  


how can i cope with this? i HAVE to get a job, obviously, i have basically no support to fall back on if i dont, but i just have no motivation. its like all i want to do is waste my days and cry.   


for a little more context, i havent exactly been working a ton lately, either, about a month and a half ago i was the only one working between us, we got stimulus checks, and moved to a better location closer to her family. at the time, i was working a lot, but ive had a month and a half to just do nothing and its like i want to just keep "resting"... idk. how do i find my motivation? how do i overcome this? i dont know what to do.