I really don't know what to feel, I feel hurt and semi\-numb... Been at work talking to my FP, possibly suppose to meet up later depending on if she was suppose to see her best friend or not, which I was/am really looking forward to... So i get off work about a hour ago, around the same time she stops responding and goes inactive on Facebook. Before she went silent she said her best friend didn't message her today. SO my head being what it is \(stupid i know\) decides to drive by her place on my way home seeing its pretty much on the way, just to see her best friends car parked outside.. Like im well aware its all in my head and its the BPD acting up Ive come to realize that.. My problem is I cant control it till after the fact.. I didnt want to drive by to put an answer to my wonders I wanted to be able to just trust... But my head gets to thinking... and now I just feel like everything has been lies... MY day went from wonderful to I want to disappear in a few minutes.... I need help...