It's the hardest when you just get diagnosed.. I feel like I'm lost and drowning.

I'm on Lamotrigine &amp; Paroxetine.. I feel like I'm not here anymore 

I'm seeing both a therapist and a psychiatric.. but I haven't seen my therapist after I got diagnosed.. I see her every month and I feel this is not enough especially at this point.. 

I don't wanna suicide.. but it's too much for me 
I wanna escape everything.. I don't wanna die. 
I'm drowning.