I'm sick and tired of having to pretend I find life worthwhile. I don't.
I don't give a shit about my plans for the future. It gives me no purpose to make something out of my life to help the society develop, and put conscious effort into making others' lives better. What the fuck does others' life have anything to do with me anyway? I also am done with having to wake up everyday and then make up activities to fill up my time - either by finding some temporary pleasure, putting effort into making futile things, or speaking to other people in a manner which will be entertaining and respectful enough for them to come back the next day and for me to repeat this crap all over again. I'm also sick of everyone - it's either people behave like brainless roobots devoid of any self-reflection, or they exhibit occassional originality on which you will get hooked only to become disappointed once you get to know them better. Today's world is unlivable - I feel like a brain-driven exoskeleton which only puprose is to self-stimulate itself for the sole reason it was designed to like certain things more than others. Every goddamn day, different way of killing time, and no way of escaping this without causing harm to every other sane person I know.