I feel like a lot of people are going to flood in with comments like 

&gt;Oh, no that's not true. Just because that's how your head and your heart work doesn't mean you don't deserve anyone!

My own head does this.

Shut up. And actually listen to me.

I feel like my heart doesn't deserve anyone.

Why? Because the damn thing is so fickle. I can be over-the-moon in love with someone one second but at the first sign something is going wrong or not going how I would like... it begins thinking of OTHER people. It begins looking for the next fix. It needs to jones on love.

It's not a normal heart. Where one relationship ends, and it's fine. It's content and peaceful in just being alone for a while. It doesn't align with the attitude "It's okay if we're alone for a while. A connection could happen later. Maybe not. In either case, that's alright. We'll be okay."

I will never be certain that I'm choosing someone for them or to avoid loneliness. Because I don't think it'll ever be true.

No, that doesn't mean that I can't eventually find a good and healthy relationship (I have had those despite what BPD-haters would imagine). But the priorities are never in the correct order.

I feel like if I truly loved someone that I would want them to be chosen for them rather than being 'chosen' because I was more terrified of being alone...