To the point that just talking to them makes me mentally ill and thats saying a lot. I self destruct in my own ways but this person fucked me over hard- i spent years hurting as they said "haha look what i can do !" like a dumb infant child. To this day i tried to talk to them but all i feel is a nasty despair talking to them as they LOST in life (of course) yet still doing their same old manipulative tactics on me and others and incapable of seeing how bad they have failed. Then im sitting feeling bad for them when i have my own problems? Its a "i told you so but didnt wanna have to prove it" situation. I just see them as utterly pitiful and they still cant HEAR or take in anything i say. I hung the phone up permanently and blocked on both but i feel like some weird nasty drug withdrawal.  It makes me feel "healthy" compared to how they live....although id be delusional to claim that. But im not even sure whats what.  As in if im healthy, or im just so burnt and done with other disordered people. I cant even feel the highs at all anymore. They disgust me. To be alone is the barely clinging on of life to mentally make it- with them its like forcing withdrawal and despair into me.

I just wanna hear others responses.