I’m stuck in the middle of being happy and wanting everything to stop. It’s like I have no friends but when I go to school people talk to me but I know they forget about me instantly after we talk but it makes me happy (in the moment)then sad because I know they don’t care. My parents are awful and good at the same time they provide for me and my brother and they are nice until they just aren’t and say stuff that makes me want to die. This all started because I lost my “girlfriend” and two best friends about a month ago and I still think about them everyday. In short I want to be sad and depressed but I can’t I just get really depressed at night and when I wake up it’s as if nothing happened and I forget everything prior to that time. 

Sorry if this is hard to read I’m not good at expressing my thoughts into text