I genuinely feel like suicide will probably be the way to go for me, from an objective standpoint. I’m lonely, I’m awkward, I hate myself, the whole package! I know I’ll never find love, I’ll never be good enough. Not for myself or the poor individual that somehow tolerates my presence. I’m simply so numb right now. Suicide still scares me, but at this rate the numbness might extend even to that. Just imagine that though, never feeling pain anymore, never being sad, never longing for a quickly fading rush of happiness… There’s just so much of an upside. No one loves me and I don’t love myself. I hate the crushing sadness and numbness that comes with life. It’s just so.. *reasonable*. And these are just the selfish reasons. The shittiness and the unfairness of the world also gets to me, but that’s another story I guess. Ironically all of this makes me want to give all my love away to someone as I know how scarce it can be lol. But in any case, again, who would want love from me? Well, I guess that’s all that’s on my mind right now, apologies for the rambling. The edibles just started hitting! But yeah, it’s fun. The reasons to end myself just keep getting more and more logical haha