Just for some context, I'm 15, nearly 16 and I live in a nice home in the countryside and my family doesn't struggle too much financially, my family has high expectations of me as they think im the 'smart one' in the family, but recently my grades at school have been pretty disappointing recently.

My Family is good, no divorced parents or anything like that, but I don't think we're the type to discuss serious topics like anxiety, depression etc. I have tried to tell them before that I always feel tired and stressed and they blame it on a lack of sugar, or on screens for too long, and for that reason i've never gone to a doctor or anything to see if i've been diagnosed with anxiety or depression. I've also recently realised that outside of school, I talk to absolutely no one, have no real friends anymore. My best friend is definitely my brother, who is 19 and will likely be moving out within a year, and after that, for the first time i'll have no siblings to talk to or play games with in the house, it'll be a pretty tough change. 
I've seen people talking about suicidal ideation and it pretty accurately describes my situation, and Ive only just realised how often i've been talking to my friends at school about committing suicide.

If I were to commit suicide, my friends might be sad for a few days but they'd move on, but I wouldn't want to leave my parents or my brother. 

Its just that the idea of not existing and having to never experience any more stress, embarrassment or humiliation and all these other emotions seems so amazing to me and I wish I could just leave this universe without any consequences. Ive found myself more and more frequently thinking about how peaceful it would be just to never have to experience consciousness ever again. 

I have 2 weeks of mock exams starting tomorrow, and have 3 exams on my birthday, and I guess I'll give updates if anyone decides to read this post

Thank you :)