she hasn’t responded to me in twelve hours and though i know it’s realistically because she has no service/is visiting family, i lost my mind and sobbed texting her to come back all without any reply and it really hurts and i considered mixing my anti anxiety benzos with alcohol and just fucking myself up after that stupid needy outburst
for other reasons i feel uncared for and like i’m the considerate one and the things i do and devotion i feel will never be reciprocated 
never prioritized to the same degree i prioritize her. i would drop anything and everything and everyone for her and not the other way around
and i’m just lonely and so tired right now i felt the urge to type all of this
i wish sometimes i’d never dated her not because i don’t love her but because it torments the both of us
something i’ve always done is just block whoever my FP is on every social media platform possible so i stop obsessively waiting for a reply because they can’t talk to me. i know this is shitty but it used to make me feel bad, tonight it just makes me a bit relieved 
someone please tell me some of your own stories, or reassure me, or tell me how you’re doing... it’s a little rough 
