My husband was recently diagnosed with bpd. The past ten years have made absolutely no sense to me. My actions match my words. I say I love him and I show it daily. His actions do not. He says he cares but I end up abused and crying, especially when I need him most. 
He says he appreciates me but when I don't feel well and need rest he pulls me into one of his episodes. Today I wasn't feeling well, and he snapped. I ended up crying in a ball while he is grabbing me telling me it's my fault he splits. I don't know what to do anymore. I understand I'm supposed to support those with disorders they can't explain, but I'm a human and I need my husband. Will I ever have that? Will he ever be able to empathize with me and not verbally and emotionally abuse me when I need help? His therapist says he'll learn. I truly hate who he becomes and the way he treats me. It's disgusting and I have more self respect than someone constantly taking advantage. I can't keep in this fight if I am only used.