Recently my boyfriend has been into a new game and its taking all of our usual time. We hang out every night for a few hours, just us, or us and games, and so I found something for us to watch during our time and I was super excited! Ecstatic about it and I kept telling him I was excited for us to watch it, but he had work for the past 2 days so we werent able to until SUPPOSEDLY LAST NIGHT. Because of his game I had already started feeling a tad abandoned but I understand enjoying a new game so it was whatever to me. But he was super tired all day and I was telling him what about the video I want us to watch? He ended up going to sleep early, not showing any enthusiasm about our planned hangout. He woke up and blamed me for not waking him up to watch the video. I told him I had just accepted that we werent going to do anything tonight and just let you rest, I was really upset.
 My boyfriend knows I have BPD, in fact we’ve been working together to understand it better and make life a little easier for us regarding its symptoms. I told him I reacted the way I did because I was snowballing every event into a perceived abandonment issue, and that I just want him to reassure me from time to time, but instead hes blaming my personality disorder. Things like “its not my fault, you made yourself upset. It wasnt me, it was your BPD warping your thinking, stop blaming me” but im hurt because we have been working together with my BPD for over a year now and hes been good at reassuring me until now.         Am I being irrational for blaming him, or is it really my fault for allowing myself to think he was being malicious?