It fucking sucks. Being totally honest, i hated the thought that i was back to using substances to control my problems. But it helped, whether i liked that or not. One day though, i decided after struggling since i was a child, that i could beat this on my own. I stopped taking my meds, stopped going to therapy (not that i did much more than sit and stare for an hour and lose my paycheck for it), and quit being open about it with my few close friends. GUESS WHAT HAPPENED. Shocker. I felt like total shit, and starting using substances again, just not the meds that were helping me. How is it different? It's not, maybe less healthy but the same thing. What the fuck am i supposed to do? I dont even know what to say