It all adds up. It's like knowing what BPD is does nothing to change you in any way. I literally saw things crash and burn despite being aware of everything. I've seen real neglect, real abuse, real rejections and real abandonment in the past. Now, I'm trying to turn a new leaf. Date new people. Make new friends. And I let all these fears get the better of me and push well meaning people away with my stupid unfounded assumptions. It feels like as if I'm just incapable of judging and perceiving people right. I keep landing in stupid situations disappointing others and myself with every relationship I try to build be it platonic or romantic. Right now, I just feel like it's impossible to do anything right with BPD. My brain is just a stupid stupid stupid useless mush. I just ruined my chance with a really sweet guy because of projecting shit experiences I had with my ex on him. My assumptions and suspicions felt so real at the moment. I totally over reacted and I'm super embarrassed. Whatever I did was so unnecessary to everyone involved. 

How do you guys manage dating/friendships with BPD and not ruin stuff?