For the last year, I thought I've been losing my mind.  I'm 17 years old and I had never acted so irrationally in my life.  I've always made good decisions; I'm in the top of my class and I'm going to a well known University next year.  
However, around fall of 2013, I went off the deep end.  I started turning to substances in order to feel happy.  I cheated on my SO.  I felt like I was watching some vindictive monster take over my body.  Just the other day, after losing a very good friend due to all of the shit I put him through, I realized what was wrong.  While I don't know my biological father personally, I'm aware that he, too, suffered from bpd.  I know that it is very possible that I inherited it from him.  And I'm sure that him leaving me and my family when I was a child didn't help. 

But now I have so many questions. After such a difficult self-realization, what do I do? How did you all deal with this information when it was new to you?