There is not a whole lot I can say besides, I think I am watching myself go agoraphobic. The reason I say this, is because I absolutely love driving around for fun. I used to travel hours away absolutely no problem. Recently, I've been noticing that my anxiety begins to steadily rise once I'm leaving my city. Once I'm along the highway, even 5 minutes from home, I begin to freak out a little. 

It is not a panic attack. I can just feel the anxiety..increasing, the further away I get from my house. Probably due to the insane panic attack I had like 2.5 hours along some random highway a while back. My brain likely fears that happening again. If I fight to I can usually ease my mind but not always. I used to easily go 2 hours from home, unprepared. Now, I start to get shaky even 5 minutes away.

Now, I start realizing "You're far from home. What if you have a panic attack. You won't be able to simply go to your room and calm down" etc etc etc. Then it spirals, then spirals some more. Its like the anxiety is directly proportional to distance from home. Driving anywhere within my city, for hours is no problem. But once I start leaving what I know, and getting far away, oh god... 

I know these roads too. Anywhere I go around my county, I've seen a hundred thousand times over. Why in the hell am I suddenly so bouncy about it? I miss the clear headed exploration I used to and still adore doing. Cant now without being so anxious I ignore all the new sights. My brain must have PTSD or some shit. So panicked about panicking...that it panics.