So one of my friends, knew something was up with me and he knows how I've been about opening up so pretty much wouldn't leave me alone until I did, which I didn't really have a problem with the pressure. He knew it was a woman so I could just tell him about my living situation and stuff like that been stressing me out and stuff. I told him about the woman and it's not so much that I'm scared of the relationship. For once in about 3 years, I finally have some hope but what scares me is if it doesn't work then I know what I'm gonna turn, completely isolating myself, work and home is where I'll stay, my family I live with I will try my damnedest to avoid and not talk to them, I will always be a nervous wreck, my aggression will skyrocket and I will lash out at anyone who speaks to me but there no way to avoid this stuff without just completely avoiding relationships. I told him that he could just go say something to his fiance or the woman bc I don't have a whole lot to lose but mental stability and I don't see point in hide all this so might as well except my fate and try it and give in to the little bit of hope that I gain, even if it destroy that hope or any chance at having hope again.