It’s been a few months after ending an 8 year relationship. Yet, everyday I find my self still thinking about them, and behaving as if they’re still around. I don’t want to be with other people or imagine being with other people. 

This breakup made me realize that, my dedication to being back with them is helping me manage my symptoms and the way that I treat myself and others. I know it’s been less than a year since I’ve been diagnosed, but I also find myself being able to focus more and manage my emotions. Everyday I’m reading, writing, working out, etc. I electively enrolled in a DBT program, and even managed to break impulsive behaviors. 

Why couldn’t I have done all of this while I was in the relationship? Idk, but sometimes there has to be something that pushes you to make a change. I wouldn’t have done that if the relationship hadn’t ended at that period. Yet, I know that every fiber in my body hopes I can one day talk to them again and show them the progress I’ve made. I love the person that I’m turning into, but that part of me that yearns for them will never disappear.