This is long but I haven’t talked to anyone about this and I don’t know who to talk to. So I’m (m20) in a LDR with my girlfriend (f18) of three years who became suicidal in November and I drove down right away when I found out how bad it was and got her parents involved (which she hated) and I took her to some places and got some contacts and her parents found some professionals and she was diagnosed with bpd. Things have been slowly getting better since then but never the same. I learned a lot about bpd since then and I’ve been really good at handling it as far as I can tell. We have an amazing relationship and I want to marry her someday even with all the problems she struggles with. But she has started cutting recently and I guess what she’s doing is not considered serious self harm but it’s really hard for me because I don’t know if that’s gonna stop when we get together in the future. She sounds like she’s feeling more suicidal than usual again, she has manic episodes fairly often and she’s very dissociative. I really want this to work but I don’t know if it can and it stresses me out a lot. I’m the only reason she’s trying as hard as she is to get better but if I leave I’m really afraid of what she’s going to do. If I leave her parents are essentially going to have to be on suicide watch but she’s really good at faking it with her parents. It’s going to put so much pressure on them and she’s going to be so hurt and it’s going to prove this idea she has that she doesn’t deserve love and she can’t have it. I love her so much but I don’t know what to do. I could wait it out and I know I can help her get through this but how will it affect my life in the future. Sometimes it’s amazing but right now I feel trapped in a way. I could go on forever with how I feel and how she feels but I don’t know, I could just use some advice right now.