I got deferred from a college, so I will not be attending until mid january. I have a long history with depression, so my mom warned me against taking the gap semester. I thought I would be fine, but here we are. My boyfriend and my best friend of two years broke up with me because he’s moving four hours away for college. My friends either hate me or are moving away as well. I’m so damn alone. I’ve started self harming again. I think I would kill myself if it weren’t for how it would effect my parents. I just want this pain to end. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, and nothing my therapist says or my psychiatrist has prescribed me has kept me from wanting to die. I don’t know what to do or who to go to, all I know is that it feels like I’ve exhausted all options and nothing I’ve tried has helped. Please help me. I want my best friend and my lif back.