I've been going through a rough time lately. Was admitted to the psych ward TWICE last week only to get tossed around though and not receiving the help I actually need. I got discharged twice on an involuntary hold because there were no beds. Made me feel even more shitty. Not even the fucking psych ward wants to deal with me. Everyone seems sooo "concerned" and is asking how I'm doing, if I need anything. I don't think they care, they're just nosy. Someone offered for me to come over to their house to hang out, and then flaked. I have ONE "friend" who texts me consistently, but I don't consider it genuine. She is going through problems of her own. She feels a sense of obligation because literally NO ONE else is talking to me or spending time with me. I'm fucking suicidal and these people in my life don't really seem to give a shit. Or if they "do" they are not consistent with what they're saying. I feel so fucking alone. So fucking alone. My therapist is sick of my shit. I've been in this rut for about 2 months and I am sucking the life out of the guy. He stopped responding to my emails and taking my calls. Feeling this way makes me even sadder because I can tell that everyone is becoming more irritated. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm nothing but a speck in this universe and the world would certainly keep spinning without me here. The world is going down in flames anyway, might as well check out early before it gets even worse. What's the fucking point.