I give the gift of my ideas and creativity to people. i'm pretty good at analyzing peoples lives and recognizing their strengths and weaknesses and creating thorough game plans and advice. 99% of the time its received extremely positively and people thank me for my input.

But somehow this is not how you build meaningful relationships?? I do this behavior for almost everyone that I meet, and people most always in the moment seem to be so amazed and in awe that I have figured their problems out for them in a meaningful way.

But this still doesn't gain their love or a meaningful connection.

I always end up feeling so...used unappreciated... and alone once again, so stupid to even think that I would actually be worth enough for someone to truly care about me. Its like "Wow thank you so much for your great ideas, your insight is amazing and youve been really helpful. Bye now"

I don't understand. I dont know how I am perceived. I dont know why it is that when I perceive I am doing something truly meaningful, that its still not enough for people to view me as someone they want to spend time with or care about. 

As a deflection, I have developed this fleeting god complex where I become obsessed with my appearance because its seemingly the only thing going well for me. My appearance gets me attention, and most important of all, validation. It is the most consistent thing I have, it remains the same no matter how my mental state or relationships are going. Its my rock to be honest. I feel so empty.