Ive been going to therapy and dbt group therapy and ive been taking my meds (ive only recently started these) and ive been distantcing myself from my previous fp but i made a new close friend recently and i can already feel myself falling back into the familiar cycle and mindset that bpd forces me into. I seriously feel like im never going to have a healthy interpersonal relationship ever in my life. I thought i was making progress but i can see that nothing has changed. Im feeling so low im just so sad bc this has literally happened with every friendship ive ever had and i cant see an end to it. I just want my brain not to be stupid. And it makes me feel so guilty bc i hate dragging innocent people into this stuff so im currently trying to isolate myself to save them the trouble but im feeling so so low idk what to do. Usually i just sleep these moods off but its persisted and the sooner i go to sleep the sooner i have to work in the morning and thats a whole other ball of stress. Electroshock therapy is sounding real good rn