I recently was broken up with by my boyfriend of five years; we had future plans and honestly my untreated BPD pushed him away. (We didn’t know I had BPD until last year though). 

I went out on a date last night and it was really fun, the guy was really sweet too. But anytime he tried to like hold my hand or lean in for a kiss I totally freaked out and got extremely uncomfortable. I woke up this morning feeling guilty. I started crying and missing my ex a lot. I just don’t want anyone to touch me but my ex I guess and I’m feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.