So, I went to a psychiatrist for the first time for a 1-hour-session a few months ago and she said I show signs of PTSD and BPD but she was very careful with it and said my personality is only going into this direction and that it‘s not a full-on disorder, because I „seem to function well“. I don‘t know what to make of this. I‘ve been reading a lot about it since and when I read through the diagnosis and stories I can just relate so well to most of it. But I don‘t want to be pretentious and overdramatic because I know it is a serious condition so I don‘t know if my emotions are valid in this case or if my brain is somehow pretending to relate to the symptoms, so I can put a name to everything. But I feel like I‘m getting consistently getting worse, I had this huge meltdown a few weeks ago from which I honestly don‘t remember everything but apparently I sat at the river switching between laughing and crying and I don‘t wanna kill myself consciously but I know that at some point that evening it felt like it would be really easy. I guess I just don‘t know what to do about anything right now. But from what she said it seems like I should be fine basically and not have a serious condition. So I just don‘t know what to do from here and if my feelings are valid or if I‘m just being pretentious. 
I’m really really sorry if this is insensitive to anyone, I really don‘t mean to, I just don‘t know who to talk to about with this and what to think.