I broke up with my ex gf last week, knowing fully well that her birthday was today. I wanted to hold off until after so she could at least enjoy her birthday but she kept bringing up issues that needed resolving and I’ve been so stressed in the relationship for so long now I couldn’t wait any longer. We broke up last year as well but tried to work things out again.
I just feel like an absolute monster. I know she’s struggling, relationships with borderlines are so intense that when we leave it can be unbearable at first. I want her to be okay and I really care about her, I just couldn’t keep sacrificing my own happiness and health. 
She doesn’t have any official diagnosis but she threatened to hurt/kill herself to try and get me to stay, which just makes me that more concerned and freaked out. Not really sure how to deal with this right now :/ 