im tired of upsetting my fp. im tired of feeling like shit after i upset my fp. im tired of them having to end up comforting me while they feel like shit because of me. im so fucking tired of myself i should be the one comforting them but instead its all about me me me fuck me i hate me im a piece of shit. i wish theyd ignore me obviously being upset the more they dig the worse it gets and i cant fucking do anything because no matter what i do the situation escalates and escalates and escalates until something terrible happens and i fuckjng hate it. i cant apologise its guilt trippy. i cant power through my emotions and comfort them because it all spills through. i cant take a break because im leaving them alone to worry. no matter what i do theyll keep asking how im doing. i cant do fucking anything but shut up i want to shut up forever why cant i never speak again i fucking hate myself!!!!!! having bpd is bad enough but autism on top of it???? misunderstanding after misunderstanding after misunderstanding after misunderstanding god i am so fucking tired of it all i hate my brain. sometimes i wish theyd just call me what i really am: a piece of shit. i want to scream at the top of my lungs i want to walk out of my body and beat it the fuck up god i hate myself