As silly as it sounds, I want to compile a healthy relationship checklist so that if I find someone I like, I can move at a reasonable pace, reckognize red flags in myself and potential partners and have a chance at a good relationship. 

I had the chance at something, but it was too fast and intense from the very start. I realized it was going too fast (mostly from the guy, I was specifically trying to be as un-BPD as possible) but I let myself just fall into it because it was nice to feel wanted and cared for. Then, I realized that I was letting myself dissolve into the guy when I let him cross a personal boundary and chose to end things. There were some others things that I was wary about so ending things was probably the logical thing to do, but this experience has made me think about the future. Even though I was always very skeptical, I have come to accept that I would like a partner. A confidant, a homie, a lover, an equal.

Those of you in healthy relationships - how did you get there? What were some things that you kept in your mind to keep your BPD tendencies in check? How did you communicate about your BPD - did you even communicate about it? When is it healthy to have a toothplace at someones place?