Tl;dr I'm a suicidal 16M and I've been losing relationships with everyone in my life and am failing in every other way.

In April of 2020 I was able to make a friend that I quickly became really close to and could rely on and talk to about anything. At the time she was my only real friend. Then over time I began to have feelings for her and she seemed to have some towards me. Life seemed like it was getting better, my grades were beginning to climb in school, my musical skills were quickly improving, I'd made a great new friend, I felt like I was getting stronger beliefs in my families religion, I was getting closer to my dad after my whole life spent being distant.

But now everything feels like it's gone from a nice spike for a while to now where I'm lower than I thought I'd ever be. My grades are worse than ever, I don't really believe in my religion now and have become an atheist and fear being rejected by my entire family because of it, I've lost that friend after dating her for a few months now am back to having no friends or any support system. My relationship with both parents is more strained than ever. 

And I know it's wrong but the main thing on my mind for the last 3 months is different ways I can end my own life.