i keep feeling worse and worse- the last time i was this low i attempted. my best friend attempted suicide several weeks ago and i just found out yesterday. i feel so scared for her and useless. there’s nothing i can do to help. i can’t help her or myself. i feel like i’m rotting- my parents won’t help me find another therapist. i want so badly to end my life but the only thing holding me back is my fear of death. good god i’m hurting so much. i’m doing everything i can to stay clean of self harm- if i can pull through tonight, i’ll be one day clean. i need so badly for someone to acknowledge how i’m doing. i need to feel valued because i honestly cannot take much more of this