I've gotten therapy in the past. I'm on cymbalta and wellbutrin for anxiety/depression/OCD. I stopped therapy because it was getting expensive and giving me more anxiety. Right now I'm doing fine on the surface, getting my teaching degree, have a stable relationship, but I'm only living my life at like 70%. I gained a lot of weight these past few years since my self destructive behavior turned into an eating disorder after cutting and drinking and sleeping with strangers was no longer what I wanted or "needed."

 I know I still need help, specific help, but because I'm so "stable" I'm scared to ask for it. When I mention anything other than depression or anxiety to my parents they think I'm being stupid and overthinking things. My dad doesn't even believe I have OCD because I don't scrub my hands raw. I'm scared to disrupt the status quo I have now because I already made enough waves and because my parents have their own shit to deal with but I still live at home and I can't stand it. I'm just so inherently unhappy and nervous. I dont want to make my parents worry anymore.