A month ago I posted that I was losing my FP. Tonight it happened. He's changed, gotten older and matured and I still wish things could be like they were four years ago.

He says he'll be around. That we'll still talk, but I've been through this before. I give it another month or two before he drifts away entirely.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm breaking down and I can't tell anyone except for you, Reddit strangers.

 I'm thinking seriously about cutting. It usually calms me and I can think more rationally. And it won't hurt worse than this does. Or I might just v sleep through the next three days. I don't know. I guess I'm just feeling lost. Thanks for listening. 