I've had heart health anxiety for so long, and have been so accustomed to feeling my heart beating 24/7 that now when I can't feel my heart beating in my chest (which I know is completely normal and the goal I'm trying to reach) I panic! 

I'm pretty sure I've developed a phobia of my own hearts normal processes. The docs tell me my heart is incredibly healthy. Bp is perfect, bpm around 50-70. 

I have this irrational fear that when I can't feel the beating in my chest, a palpitation is gonna come on, and palpitations themselves no matter how fleeting, ruin my entire day. 

Most, if not all of my palpitations don't increase my heart rate. Could these just be perceived palpitations that are actually something else, like my esophagus or something?