When do I get to be stable and successful??  I do all the shit I'm supposed to; coping skills, learning to accept myself, therapy, meds  It's like shitting uphill. 

I'm tired you guys.  I've spent the majority of my time outside of work either in my bed or the chair next to my bed. 

I don't want to kill myself or even want to die, I just want to stay in bed until I catch the upswing train to an elevated mood