Sometimes I miss my moods. I'm bored? I dunno. It was my identity for 6 years, being completly unstable, in and out of hospital. Now I'm on 8 psych meds(Vraylar, Seroquel, Celexa, Lithium, Lamictal, Adderall, and Klonopin.) and they somehow work at keeping my from going into full episodes. Sometimes little ones, but nothing like before. It's good I'm stable, but I do feel like a lier now when I tell people I'm disabled...  


Maybe it's more numbness? I dunno. I'm having the hardest time completing art, and I'm a freelance artist. My doc said I'm having Anhedonia. So thats fun.  


I'm not going to, but sometimes I think about stopping my meds to see what I am like without them. \*sigh\* I dunno