i had to get a TB skin test today for my new job. i have an extreme phobia of the doctor, needles, and a serious sensory aversion to having my arms touched. 

long story short, after 4 attempts, the doctor couldn't give me my TB test. my anxiety was so high and i was shaking so badly that it wasn't safe to administer the test. 

i had to call my employer and let them know that i was going to have to turn down the job offer due to my phobia. my boss was super nice and said she was going to see if she could make an exception for me, because she really wants me to work for them. But it's a corporation. I'm not expecting any exceptions. 

my boyfriend and i drove home in silence and we haven't spoken since. he's told me before that he can't be in a relationship with me if i can't medically take care of myself. this is the 3rd incident like this in 3 months and i can tell he's got a foot out the door. Not because he isn't patient or doesn't care, but because he can't enable me neglecting myself. 

i'm losing my job and my partner. i want to have children some day but if i can't handle a single needle there's no way i'm going to be able to safely care for a child. this was my first job offer in months and my boyfriend and i are running out of money. this phobia is absolutely ruining my life and i don't know what to do. i can't afford therapy.