I hate myself. I live in a flat with 7 people who I barely speak to am currently drinking myself to death in my room. All my friends back home are successful and living out the prime of their lives while all I can think about is how much I am rotting. I am actually scared about myself but there is nothing I want to do anything about it. I have ADHD and have been told I have an addictive personality (which I agree with completely) I have been thinking about this a lot and I can't help it and I've started to completely loathe who I am. I have never been more lonely in my life at uni as I have terrible social awareness. I am asexual and have never been able to form a relationship because of it. I hate how I look and I hate how lonely I am. **I am not thinking about ending my life.** But I'm really scared that this isolation and depression will lead me into alcoholism and addiction which terrifies me. 

I know so many people like me are out there, people who feel so alone when surrounded by people because they have no one to express their thoughts and feelings on to, and then turn into such self hating miserable helpless addicts who have no hope or favour for their future. 

I feel like telling people I know  I'm depressed would come with scepticism and disbelief and I'm guessing other people feel the same way. 

I know this post may not be appreciated but I feel like I haven't been able to talk until now. Anyone reading this please say anything that can help clear me or anyone else off this track to a grey life