The person I loved the most left me ...the one person I always wanted by my side .The person who I tried everything I could to make them happy...I planned to marry him have kids with him ...it’s all my fault .I can’t stand this mental illness and I can’t stand the person it makes me .  I should have never thought that I was ready for a relationship with anyone . Everyone leaves at some point it’s just a matter of how and when .I was right ...I know he wasn’t happy with me ...I knew he wanted to leave ...I knew it all along .That fear was always in the back of my mind .Nothing ever gets better for me .It only falls apart .Everything is crashing down right now and I don’t even know if I want to live anymore .