I started seeing a psychiatrist last year. I was diagnosed with chronic depression and put on meds for the first time. I felt so good for six months. I had no idea I could feel that way. But...  we found the meds were messing with my blood pressure. So I had to switch and I haven’t been the same since...

I was feeling way overwhelmed three weeks ago. And almost ended it but I told my wife (I have four kids too). She made me an immediate apt for the psych the next day. And he said he thinks I have BPD. I was shattered and I don’t know what to think... it explains a lot... but I’m so tired of living on this emotional rollercoaster and I know my wife is too... why do I feel things so deeply? How do I control my tongue when I feel abandoned or betrayed or angry? I have a terrible tongue when this happens. And afterwards I feel so worthless. Like it’d be better if I was never born or brought pain to those I love with my words.

I’m going through a DBT workbook and looking for a therapist. I’m dedicated to doing whatever I have to do. But the emotional cycles make me feel hopeless. Help. Advice. Please. I am 30 years old....