I hate myself, I hate how I've led my partner on for almost 2 years now. I love that man so much, but we've hit a point in our relationship that feels like we'll never get through. I constantly am splitting and having full on spirals and I dont feel any effort to change that from him. The person I've been getting the most feedback from is my current best friend. I think hes my favorite person now. I'm so scared I'm going to ruin my friendship with him and my relationship with my partner. I'm so scared. I want them to love me. I need them to love me.