Last week I was diagnosed with MDD. Processing it has weirdly taken a lot out of me and I feel like i’m getting worse. Yesterday I had a complete breakdown and was sobbing uncontrollably in front of my bf of 6 months, and I had never cried to him or had so much emotion in front of him. I tried so hard to control my emotions and symptoms, yet my brain got the best of me again.  I felt so completely embarrassed and overwhelmed. I started crying even MORE. To make it worse as i was frantically moving things around and crying he told my roommate he was scared and didn’t know what to do. Hearing this later just made me feel so so much worse. He was comforting me later on when I finally took a seat, which i’m happy about, but I hate that now he’s seen how a small thing can send me over the edge. I don’t know what to do I’m dreading seeing him because now he’s seen me lose it. I’m embarrassed. It wasn’t even just that. I also frantically went to my grandparents house ( who I don’t really speak to ) crying asking for help. My grandparents saw me. My aunts and uncles did too. My mom had to call me to check on me. I’m just so ashamed of myself.