i struggle to leave the house and interact with anybody at all. i'm 19 and have become completely socially isolated over the past 3 or 4 years. i dropped out of high school twice because i couldn't handle it, left 4 or 5 study courses after just days because i couldn't handle those either, and due to the fact that i can't speak to anyone apart from 3 family members without being sent into a week long depressive episode, getting a job seemingly impossible. i'm turning 20 this year and i'm still living solely off my working class dad, and it's taking a toll on him. BPD is the only thing i've ever been diagnosed with but i refused treatment or further medical help because i'm absolutely terrified of therapy and medication. 

does anyone know what i could do or know how i can take even a small step in the right direction?