In every friend group I’ve been in I’ve felt like if I wasn’t there or if I died, nothing would change. The dynamic would be the same, everyone would be just as good friends, and the group would look virtually the same. It’s not hard to see that my friends are better friends with each other than with me and while I’m not against them having better friendships, it hurts how apparent it is and how big the gap is. Any time I’ve hung out with friends, I’ll hear stories about other times they’ve hung out, definitely without me. Just earlier today I was leaving to go on a walk and I saw a groups of my friends heading to another friend’s dorm, and I was never told anything. I don’t expect to be invited to or involved with everything, but this isn’t the first time and it still hurts. I feel like if I just distanced myself or left entirely, I’d have no one. I’d be completely alone at college if I left the people who actively exclude me and I have no idea what to do. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a bad friend in a way I don’t realize, if I’ve done something that I don’t realize, or if it’s just all in my head.