My grandma passed away earlier today after having Alzheimer's for about 5 years. It progressed pretty rapidly, to the point where the last year she's been in hospice. I've been mentally preparing myself for the news, so when I got it I didn't necessarily cry like my other family members did. I did feel sad but I know she's in a better place. 

My question is how am I supposed to act around family? I'm going to see them all tomorrow and I know I'm going to be the awkward one that's not physically crying. My mechanism for coping with a death is making sure everyone else is ok.

I'm afraid I might go into an episode or disassociate if cornered and berated for not showing any physical emotion. Is there any way to prevent that besides not going? 