I’ve had a really good past two days, so I’d love to believe that the rest of week is going to be great. But, like most people with BPD, I can be having a good day or even a great day until suddenly I’m not and then I’m plummeting into a world of self-hate and suicidality and it feels like I’m at rock bottom. 
Lately, when I’ve gotten to that bad space, I’ve turned to active suicidal thoughts and came really close to attempting last week. But the things that usually stop me are 1) the fact that I live in a dorm with a roommate that could come home at any time 2) my boyfriend comes and gets me so I’m not alone. 
This weekend my roommate is going to be gone at a competition and my boyfriend is going to be 9 hours away for his friend’s wedding. I’m scared that something is going to happen and I’m gonna end up in a dark space and there’s not going to be anything to stop me. 

What do you do when your safeguards fall through?