i’m having an urge to do something that i feel a lot of shame about and i just wanted to know if anyone else has felt this way bc then i might not feel so awful about it. basically after trying to make myself believe i could like men for years i finally accepted that i was a lesbian almost a year ago. i can’t imagine ever wanting to be with a guy but there’s a guy who i was becoming friends with who i had to come out to bc he kept making advances and he’s still flirting. i have no other friends so i don’t want to him to stop talking to me and he wants to hang out and we made plans for him to come over and idk i guess part of me wants to let something happen?? like im not attracted to him or anything so maybe it’s the people pleasing urge, a form of self harm, needing to feel wanted/attractive by someone , or just wanting physical intimacy of any kind bc im so lonely but… am i alone in this? i feel so awful about it and now i also feel like maybe i have to reevaluate my sexuality even though i was finally feeling secure in it bc if i’m actually a lesbian i shouldn’t even be considering this right? i hate my brain 😭

has anyone ever gone through with this kind of thing? if so how did it go?