I’ve been suicidal for over 20 years. I feel trapped by not wanting to hurt the people I love and not wanting to be alive. Every day is so extremely painful. I just want it to stop.  I’ve done years of therapy. I’m on medication. I do meditation and yoga. Nothing takes away the suicidal ideation. I am exhausted. I just want to sleep and never wake up. How long can I keep pushing. I don’t have much left but the thought of hurting my loved ones is overwhelming. I feel completely stuck.