I am 26 m. Gay in a homophobic country. Struggling with various forms of depression since I was 14. Currently I lost my dream job that was supposed to get me out of here because my manager abused me for months and I said nothing about it and it turns out the company just don't care.

I have never experienced a healthy relationship or friendship in my life because I am always being taken advantage of. Been through every possible terrible experience from being cheated on to rape and attempted murder.

My body is full of scars and my health is on a steady decline. I got several permanent life long injuries. I gained 30 kilos because of the extremely high dosage of antidepressants I am on. I am barely able to get me out of bed. Therapy is not working and several therapists told me that I need psychiatric help.

I am alone with no friends or anyone close to me. I tried to make new friends and miserably failed. I am all out of energy to even text and chat. Also I became extremely Sensitive and unable to think or talk about anything but what happened to me. I become a burden to anyone remotely close to me and either get ghosted or told they are busy.

I just can't keep going. Even on the off chance I get out of here, my past experiences are just too much to ignore, heal or live with. I am getting worse everyday day.

I am writing this here because I have no where else. I am sorry if I bothered you.