 I don’t know where to turn.. every day I have suicidal thoughts but then could never do that to my little sister, little brother, or my dog.. 
I have no friends, and my partner is beginning to hate me. Probably because I break up with him so often.
I’ve always been like this.
I’ve had 3 years of therapy and as much as it HAS helped, I’m still sitting here wondering why I’m even alive.
I attempted suicide by crashing my car in 2018, I almost died, and yet here I am.. wondering why I survived.
What helps?
What can I do?
Anyone?