I know this sounds really stupid, but for a while I’ve been in a living hell. I woke up stressed and on edge and would constantly split, shut down, and push people away. I had been dealing with almost every symptom of BPD at like 100% and I was having a lot of relationship issues. After a massive breakup and pushing seemingly all my friends away, I was alone for a while. And after about 4 months since being all alone, I think I’ve gotten mentally better. I wake up happier. I am able to do things in my day to day life that my mental health would otherwise prevent me from doing. But I feel like this happiness undermines my BPD symptoms I had a few months ago. For as long as I remember I have dealt with BPD symptoms for a long time and only now am I feeling happier. Am I allowed to be happy and healthy? I feel like BPD is all doom and gloom and me being this happy for this long kinda just erased the hell I went through for years.