I find I want to avoid having to show that I was emotionally triggered over something small towards people who don’t have BPD. When I’m having a BPD moment and ergo under some emotional destress, I know someone who does not have BPD wouldn’t possibly be able to understand exactly how I feel so it’s just so much easier to say I’m fine. I fear the other person would have some sort of negative reaction if I tell them I was effected emotionally, usually made to feel saddened, rejected or angry by something they did/said? It feels like constantly walking on eggshells around other people.

BPD is so complex, so it’s hard to truly get people to understand that you’re over-sensitive because you’re afraid they will reject you, they don’t like you, like they aren’t being genuine. That you only push them away out of fear they’re just going to abandon you. In truth you just want them to pull you closer, hug you, and remind you how much they love you. There’s some people in my life I’ve just avoided telling out of straight up fear they’ll never be able to understand. This includes my favourite person. 
:(

Feeling so freaking low today. Time for sad girl music.

Sorry for the rant and sorry if I sucked at explaining.