I could write a big dumb ol wall, but essentially I've found myself into a downward spiral after a new job change and I don't know how to handle the newfound free time. boo hoo

I could be bettering myself and forming habits and hobbies, but instead I'm snorting all of my prescriptions, and the government (rightfully so, suspicions began after doing work for them) is telling my boss that I'm doing it. and if my contract is broken after this post, then I know those suspicions are true

I thought having sex with my boyfriend would help the emptiness today, but instead, (what do you know!) my toxic ex invades my mind right during post-coitus and now I apparently need to leave this good good man that has been so patient and kind to me for years

how fucking typical. I am just so goddamned bored with myself and I'm unable to cope. unable see my old therapist due to money and insurance issues that I've, of course, neglected to solve

how typical

I'm sorry that you read this but thanks I guess. mostly upset with your waste of time