Hello guys, I just wanted to share because it's all getting on top of me a bit. I've suffered from anxiety and depression since adolescence, made it through uni and in to a respectable profession. I'm under a psychiatrist now and am just finishing up over a year of therapy for binge eating disorder. My meds got changed in November and I've been feeling so much better, especially this year, but for the last few weeks I've been depressed again. I tend to avoid things that stress me out and since I've been feeling better I've been doing that less, but I'm still not making great progress on those things (mostly work portfolio and housework things) and am struggling to stay engaged with them. I also just feel so blank and tired, I don't want to do anything. I'm worried about my relationship, there's issues with us that I know I have to confront, but I can't be bothered, it's easier to let it drift for now. I'm seeing my psychiatrist next week, but I know there's no quick fix. I still have this fantasy that I can have the life I can imagine I'd have if I wasn't depressed, if I just try harder, and yet I wake up depressed again. I hate this. I don't want to have to have time off work, or have to withdraw from my friends, but I feel awful. I keep "riding the waves" and using mindfulness to get through the anxiety, and that keeps me functioning, but doesn't actually make it any easier really.
Thanks for reading this far. I'll be OK, I just thought I'd try venting, it's helped a little, sort of dived through a wave, rather than riding it.