and hopefully getting some sort of diagnosis. i’m terrified to open up, but i have an entire notes app full of how the criteria relates to me. i’ve been through so much trauma and abandonment in my life, as well as having severe mental health issues run in my biological family. not self diagnosing at all, but i think when you know, you know. i found out about OCD, knew deep down it explained so many off my issues. i was diagnosed a couple years later.


all i want is to get the help that i need, because i am so tired. tired of the fighting with everyone, me lashing out on those around me, having full breakdowns and hitting myself, punching walls, etc. over the smallest things, then the next second i’m off to the store as if that never happened. one second i’m fine, the next i’m angry out of nowhere. i just can’t do it anymore. the worry and fear everyone will leave me, secretly hates me, is replacing me, etc. and that i’ll be alone. the settling for the most unhealthy relationships, because those are better than nothing, and who would want to be around someone like me? i found this community, and i feel like i found so many people who are just like me. i want to cry, because for once i don’t feel alone. i’m very sorry that i’m posting here without an official diagnosis, like i said, i really hope to get one soon. i will update you all on how today goes.