For context, I am dog sitting. So I am alone with 4 huge dogs. I live with 6 other people so this is a big change for me. (Tonight is last night dog sitting) 

Covid is bad in our area right now. We usually go big for Christmas and go to mass and hang out with family eating and opening presents until 3-4am. Yes, this includes my now 85 year old grandmother. Our alternate plan was to swing by her house (social distance in her car port) and drop off presents tell her Merry Christmas and be on our way. 

However, things have changed. My grandma is in the hospital with pneumonia. If she tests positive for covid, they can’t admit her at that hospital because their ward is full. 

She is my only biological grandparent I have left. My anxiety shoots up every time I hear there is something wrong with her. This is the second time this year she has been in the hospital. Christmas and my birthday were already going to be hard with covid, but to add this on top of it has me heart broken. I have been crying off and on for hours. I’m trying to distract myself as much as I can. But being alone with my thoughts is very difficult. Dog cuddles help, but please send positive thoughts and vibes this way.