Hello everyone I don’t know why I’m here but I haven’t been me lately I’ve had a lot of stuff happen in my life and finally when all the chaos ended I was finally able to think straight for once and honestly I don’t think that was a good thing I was numb for so look that when I felt I honestly didn’t know what I was feeling I moved a whole state away I have nobody here and latterly it’s just been me my room and music I recently just relapsed I overdosed two or three days ago I died twice but I’m still here I know there’s a reason but I feel so lost I haven’t used since yesterday and the only reason I’m using is because I’m so broken I just wanna be numb again every time I try something I fuck it up and end up hurting everyone around me I know I’m all over the place but I just don’t know what to do I’m so so so close to giving up I’m starting to hate myself it feels like nothing is going to be okay I’ve became this person that I don’t even know a lot of the time I just think it would be easier to be in the stars but I’m to scared to even go that far everybody I had has turned on me hell I’ve even turned on myself I have goals dreams and wants but every time I try I get thrown down and you can only fight so much before your tired and I’m tired I’m so tired it feels like all I’ve known is dark days so now when the light comes out I run to the darkness I smile because if my family knew I fell so would they I’m the only thing keeping them floating I’m only 18 i just wanna run from everything but I know it won’t solve anything so here I am dying to live instead of living to die I know this was all over the place but this is new to me and there’s so much more deep rooted issues but I’m not strong enough to pull those roots idk thanks for listening everyone to anyone feeling the same way know your not alone