Hi All, I only just first started experiencing states of panic and anxiety attacks a few weeks ago. I've always been a bit of a nervous person but this is something else i've never experienced.

The first time it happened I was staying at my mothers, I looked down and saw my chest pulsating, very fast. I started googling the symptoms, put two and two together and was convinced I was having a heart attack. I was freaking out, sweating, going all clamy, moments every 15 seconds or so where I was convinced that I was going to lose conciousness and go into cardiac arrest and die NOW.... Like right that second. It lasted hours, in and out. The next day it came back and I had to go to ER. I went, they checked me out and said they weren't worried about me so sent me home. I was absolutely mortified.

The following two weeks were just the worst of my life, I'm also an addict in recovery and this feels like a rock bottom much worse that my darkest days in addiction. I was getting at least one panic attack a day, been so on edge waiting for it to happen, feeling twinges and aches and pains all over my body. Not able to focus on anything. Stopped going to work as been petrified to go in. Just about managing to get a train, even though I'm in states of panic on the train.

Bed time is the worst as it often comes on then, some nights I haven't been able to get any sleep as the moment I close my eyes I jolt up clenching my chest thinking something is about to happen. Or I'll pass out while falling asleep and die. I've been to ER two more times, the worst part about it is they said there was an irregularity with my heart, however because of my age they aren't going to worry about it, some people have this irregularity and there heart just pumps a little differently for there whole life, if I was above 50 then they would look into it more. WELL I WORRY ABOUT IT. CONSTANTLY. I haven't exactly been good to my body in the past and I'm 26 now.

Where I'm at now, is although I haven't had a panic attack in a few days, my upper body sore and achy, especially my left arm. Could this be because I've been so tense and the muscles response? I slept ok yesterday, but I still find myself up at night. I'm getting mini attacks where I don't go into full blown panic attack mode like I did the first week, but multiple times throughout the day I'll find myself catching breath convinced that I'm going to Die again. I've been to these safe haven places just to talk to someone, I hate being on my own. although I don't want to talk to my housemates, which was unlike me when I moved in I was a very happy/ sociable person with them. I've managed to go for a few walks, however I find myself sweating loads, out of breath more and sometimes even walk or excersise can put me into these states...

I'm honestly scared and petrified of doing anything. I'm exhausted, I struggle to eat as I'm feeling nauseous all the time. I just want someone to tell me this is exactly what anxiety/ panic attacks is because the main thing I worry about is that there is actually something wrong with me physically and it's terminal. I'm really sorry for the long post... I think (hope) It's helping me get it all out here at least if noone reads it but would really appreciate some response :)