im 14 and ive been told rarley but a couple times ive been called a gaslighter or abusive its rare but im usally called that, ive been abused by many people and i think their behviour is starting to rub off on me a bit, ive been trying to get better at interacting by copying others behaviours and how the people around me act but i dont think its working, ive also been trying to close more people off and get away from them because i dont trust many people i dont even trust myself, sometimes ill act agressive hoping it would keep them away but instead there sticking around me and its pissing me off where was that love when i was 10yrs old?
i dont wanna be an abusive gaslighter but im not sure how not to people dont listen unless im agressive and yell at them
plus im autistic making social interaction even harder for me im not sure what to do or how to feel or what to do