idk if this should really but in this sub but anyway

I've been trying to turn my life around and become a better person, and its kinda worked and it kinda hasn't. im happier more often, but when I'm sadder I'm sadder than I was before. but I'm starting to surround myself with better people and I think I might be able to leave this sub soon.   I go to a boarding school though, and it can get really toxic. there's multiple people who think that racist and homophobic jokes are the best jokes, and since my dad is Japanese a lot of these are directed at me. when I get home on the weekends, I have no motivation. I usually don't leave my room or get off my phone, and I'm constantly being told by my mum to go and do something, even though thats the last thing I want to do. one of my friends recently had to leave the school because she was getting bullied from some dumbass video that someone took of her. I feel like life is just trying to stop me from fixing my life, my friends were all happy before I started actually trying. I have a friend at school tho and I've been talking to her on the weekends, but it seems too awkward to talk to her at school for some reason. I really like her but I dont want to ruin our friendship, what do I do help

sorry for the rant