I've been thinking about this a lot. I discovered I had anxiety some years ago, after I had a pretty bad panic attack on an Uber. Since then I've been more interested in knowing which parts of my life are influenced by this, and I can't really think of anything that's not influenced by it. I feel like my life is not enterily mine and like I've been struggling with this since forever. I can't recall a time where my inner doubts weren't with me, or where my mind isn't always racing or overthinking about something insignificance. 

And lately my anxiety have been worse. I can't get out of my house without thinking everyone is a threat. Hell, I can't even feel comfortable enough to make eye contact with strangers. I can't make phone calls without feeling my heart racing. Or just... I don't know, sleep well or don't have an emotional rollarcoaster every week. And this, separately, doesn't seems like a big deal. I can handle it most of the time and I want to be able to handle it. But sometimes I wish it could be easily.

I just think I could have been someone enterily different if I didn't have anxiety. That I could still be different, but I don't know how. Therapy (psychoanalysis) worked, for a while. I didn't try medication (although I was prescribe an antidepressant). I just don't know, what's the next step? How can I feel more like myself (or even discover who the fuck this person is)? How can I feel more comfortable and sure about myself? How can I stop feeling scared over little things? 

I know these questions doesn't really have an answer, or a step by step answer, but I needed to vent. And, if you feel like sharing your doubts, experience or wishes, well, here I am.