I've tried CBT therapy. DBT therapy. EMDR. Inpatient treatment. Intensive outpatient treatment. Weekly therapy for the last three years. Seven different medications. Mindfulness. Yoga. Working my ass off at my jog. Hanging out with my friends. Changing my diet. Every sort of distraction. Journaling. Puzzles. Painting. Sewing. Group therapy. Gardening. Cleaning. Getting a dog. Exercising. I wanted to try TMS therapy, but my therapist thinks I should wait because he doesn't know enough about it, but he gave me no real alternatives to try instead, other than to wait it out.

I'm so tired. It might just be time to do it.