today i came back home after a five day trip and i had the most amazing time. the weather was great and i was carefully letting myself enjoy life for the first time in two years, as scared as i was. two years. but this morning i got home and it just hit me again. i immediately had to lay down in bed and i could only stare at the mess in my room. it just made me wonder if my depression is tied to this place. will it get better when i move? i don’t know. i have to move in a few weeks and i’m so scared that i will tie my depression to my new place as well and that my room there will get as bad as this one… i really don’t know how to change it. i don’t want to live like this anymore, i want everyday to be like the last five.