# I guys. I am sorry if I make mistakes writing, english is really not my first language. 

I just came were for a little vent. I feel like it's so much happening in my life right now, I don't know which way to turn and I been feeling really bad latelly. 

So in September me and my ex (who I dated for almost 6 years) broke up, long story short, he made me go through hell for the second time, and I decided that I should love my self first and just leave, even though i did loved him still.  
Two days after that I put in my 2 months notice of resignation were I had been working in the last 2 and a half years, because they treated us really bad there, and I was trying to leave for so long, and in that moment it just felt right. I was just super hurt and done with everything. Don't regret this decision at all. 

Well, now, currently in December, I am in an online classes for wedding planning, which by the way has been my dream job for so long. (I do not live in America, this career is not a super known thing here).

But lately i feel really anxious. I can't stop thinking that I don't have a car, even thought I do have my drivers license (I don't drive in almost 2 years because driving makes me really anxious and I start to shake like crazy when driving), which makes me think that no one will give me a job because of this. 

Also I was supposed to find a part-time job, while finishing classes, and I have been applying to them, but no one calls back, and when they do call, I have a full on anxiety atack because new jobs and people I dont really know make me feel super anxious. But not working makes me feel anxious as well 'cause obviously like everyone else I need the money, and when I am home for a long time I start to feel like really lonely and empty inside or something.  Also I think my ex is with someone else and that makes me a bit sad but not as much as I thought I would be so that's a small win, I don't think that's the source of all this ansiety, I don't think about him that much latelly.

Basically I am super anxious about not having a job, but going to a new job just thinking about it already makes me  hyperventilate; and also anxious about not driving even thought nobody said to me i can't do it without a car, no one even said i need one. My brain just remember that detail by himself and now it's just going full mode crazy, and won't stop thinking about this stuff.

  
I am sorry. I really just wanted to vent a litlle. I don't really know what to do, and my friends don't really get it.