Hi, my SO has been formally diagnosed with bpd. We have had our ups and downs as everyone has but the last few months is a new wave so I’m just gonna ask for advice now that I’ve learn about Reddit lol. If it’s cool. So he works in physical therapy, basically he has some patients who only see him and have been for years. One particular patient, we’re gonna call her K, texts him all the time. I’ve always been suspicious but apparently whenever another woman (or gay man) flirts with him she lets them know I’m crazy and he’s taken (basically trying to have my back). That’s what he told me. Well on the anniversary of his grandpas death I tried everything I could to be there for him and accommodate his feelings yet he texted her all day and said she was better at being there than I was.... which was hurtful but we decided maybe he should try to give me a chance to be that person per our counselors advice. Well this week he’s been acting weird, coming home way later than usual and disappearing from our text conversations. He usually at least tried to text once an hour but whatever. I noticed they’ve been texting everyday now that she’s broken up with her boyfriend because of his identity crisis.... and also I’ve noticed that when we went to her house (I’ve met her numerous time) he was joking about saving her from her own wedding, and would not quit it even though I saw she was becoming annoyed by the “joke”. Well I’ve been suspicious and yesterday I went through his phone and saw that he texted her about a “date patient” he had for one hour. She asked did you date hang out or just work hangout? He described wishing they could have a couple drinks to see if it was confused feelings (he told this to K about the “date patient”) she knows he and I have been together for years and have a 9 month baby. His boss tells all his patients that I’m his wife although we aren’t married. I confronted him about it and he said it was fake, the patient doesn’t exist and he said it because he was bored. Lately we’ve been having his take his meds to help with the dissociation but wouldn’t that stop this kind of thing from happening? What do you make out of this? How do I get past this? Please feel free to let me know if I’m at any point being offensive I’m still learning about this condition. Mind you upon going through his phone I saw oh so many porn pages, like a horde of at least 80.... I was so saddened and disappointed. I find it hard to believe she doesn’t exist. I find it hard to believe he still wants me and wants this family. It sucks because he accused me of cheating earlier this week but I’ve been home with the baby because he’s been sick so I have no time, plus I put all my eggs into his basket. If anyone has some advice, I would so much appreciate it. &lt;3