I've been dealing with depression for years now I tried to get help in my younger years but my father would always force me to lie to protect his own image, it caused me to never be able to open up and now my daughter is going to be born in 3 weeks. I don't know how I'm going to be a good father I don't have the most money in the world and I'm still dealing with the issues my dad gave me, I just went to my Grandfather's funeral today and he was more of a father to me than my real dad and I'm stuck in a loop of wishing for death but knowing that my daughter is going to need me. I just wanted to rant a little.