It had been two years since I had been depressed I thought I was doing okay but I guess I wasn’t. I feel guilty to say my troubles. I making myself eat and do the basics needs so I don’t fall too deep in. However, I am doing worse. I just want to be done. Maybe move out or even died. Whichever comes first. I feel lonely, that my whole world is just empty. I talk to 3 people, well 2 since I’m got a girlfriend and we don’t longer talk. I try to talk to another people but I feel as a bother. I have even ask and they never answer. My whole routine is the same and when I try to change it, I feel guilty. I am trying so hard.

I simply I don’t understand. I have everything, love, education, and somewhat loving family. Why I feel like I need to end it? Why is the guilt, the sadness , my overthinking and restless swallowing me? Why do I bother my friends? Are they even my friends? 

I just want to be happy again