I sleep 13 hours a day, I'm either working or sleeping. All I do is spend money on porn, food and video games to try and feel something it doesn't work  I do stupider and stupider purchases. My parents are disappointed in me for wasting my money and never saving. I just don't see myself living very long so I just spend like there's no tomorrow. I've stopped taking my anxiety pills a couple weeks ago as it wasn't helping as least I didn't think it was. Now that I believe the effects have worn off, I still don't think it was, I still feel the same ways as I did before. I'm thinking about going into a mental health facility sometimes in October for a few weeks if that's possible, I'm leaving it until then for my work to be able to cope with my leave for so long. Anyway I don't expect anyone to read this but yea.