Okay... people may think im just a leech seeking for attention and I may mix up my "hormones" with mental illness. But I really dont know. I have alot of trauma and dont remember like 70% of my childhood. Abuse n sexual stuff n bla bla bla. I dont have enough money to get a psychiatrist or a therapist so im on my own. I just feel like im a really bad person around my friends and anyone in general and i have self destructive thoughts about it. I want help so bad but theres nothing i can do. Im literally so fucking broken. It could be genetic too since my mom is bipolar.