Hi,

I am new here but I was hoping to get some advice because I am running out of time of reaching a doctor before the end of my FMLA, so any help would be appreciated. I've been trying to break into my current field for 10 years and I finally did but then everything took a turn for the worse. I don't want to be sent out to the woods again.

My question is: how can I succeed in a professional office environment when I am so distrustful and I feel like i have to respond to people trying to get me fired/poor evaluations for raises, etc.? I am willing to admit that not all of my worries about my coworkers or previous coworkers/classmates are valid and they may not have been trying to hurt me/take advantage of me, etc. However, I can't tell which. It all blurs together. I am mostly concerned about the present because I feel like if I don't take my concerns seriously, I will be out gamed in office politics.

I voluntarily took myself on FMLA for a month because....I realized that even if I distrust someone, it is not appropriate to react with malice. It was creating a cycle of bridge burning and distrust. However, I don't know how to react to my fears because I am pretty sure they are up to something.

I was hoping to find a doctor but it's been tough a) finding one I trust enough would give constructive advice, b) the few I do think I would trust, I can't get past their office who filter me out for whatever reason. Usually they say they will call me back and never do. The days keep adding up now with no appointments. 

I am worried that my FMLA will end and I won't have any answers for how I behaved to my coworkers or how to improve. I've been trying to avoid the emails from my coworkers while gone but my supervisors have said they do plan to meet with me when I return. 

Thank you in advance.