I have to work harder than most people to stay in the collective reality: maintaining a strict routine on eating, sleeping, exercising, medication, meditation, acupuncture, therapy. But my reality is a part of me and a source of sensitivity, creativity, energy, empathy. Bipolar is only one factor in my reality. My otherwise healthy brain and physical body, family, community, environment, etc all influence it. 

Today, I simply refuse to be bummed out, ashamed and having the pov “thanks for bearing with / tolerating me, I know I'm too much. I am white knuckling it to be a normie like you,” which I have been doing since 2019 and probably forever. There is no such thing as normies, we are all passing and pretending to never be down.

My range gives me access to experiences and insights others don’t have. Feeling actually proud to be bipolar and also refusing to be labeled, which I think puts it in a nutshell. It’s amazing to have so many parts to draw from in relating to others. I love when I can spot someone on “the team” and feel an instant connection. The shared suffering goes without saying, it is hard. But life is hard in myriad ways and the gifts of bipolar are real and extraordinary, in my experience.