I want to be able to forget the past me. Me now. I want everyone to forget too. I’d love to just disappear and start again and be myself without fear of people bringing up the old me. 

I’m so tired of my life and the way everything is going. I’m tired of myself and the decisions I make. 

I hate myself. 

There’s always that alleged amazing opportunity for ‘change’ but people are shit and love to hold you to things or bring them up. 
My mind won’t ever forget either.

Sleeping doesn’t help anymore. 
Ignoring everything has just allowed it all to build up. 
H*rming myself is counterproductive, I only hate myself more lol… not sure what I was hoping to gain from that but yeah. 

I don’t even know where my heads at. 

Can’t afford therapy. 
Medication doesn’t appeal to me.

I’d just like to leave for a while and come back when I’m ready… but how?