I called about day treatment enrollment last week but I feel like I probably can’t persist through the entire program because even one hour of activity is too much for me. I know 3 hours a day, 3 days a week doesn’t sound like a lot but for me, it is probably too much. I also did the program twice before and probably already heard most of the stuff they teach. I can’t complete support groups anymore. Yesterday my mom and I did 3 hours of shopping and I said I wanted to go home, whereas earlier in my illness I sometimes liked to stay out late. My BFF Jackie has been talking to me less and less lately and barely said anything at the party we went to on Saturday. She hasn’t texted me since the party. I don’t think I want to volunteer either. I want to go to support group but I keep getting hit on so I don’t go as much as before. I feel like it’d be nice to just sit at the beach and take up some hobbies if it weren’t for the fact that my psychotic intrusive thoughts keep trying to get me to join day treatment, volunteer, etc. It’s 2pm and I’m lying in bed still feeling groggy but it’s a beautiful day out. I like the feeling of having something to do. I wonder why today it is more quiet/relaxed than usual. This weekend I’m going to a send off lunch for my BFF who is leaving end of June. I think ideally I just want to stay home and I’m happy the way things are if it weren’t for the intrusive thoughts. I’d like to find some long term commitment but definitely not something as intensive as work or school.