TL;DR at the bottom.

My partner and I are both guys, 31 years old, and have been together since we were kids.

We both suffer from health anxiety, but his anxiety is significantly worse than mine. I worry a lot, but I don't really talk about it. When I have brought something up, he freaks out a little bit and tries to get me to go to the hospital, so I usually keep it to myself. He's my polar opposite in that regard; he tells me every time he's anxious because he wants me to help him figure out his symptoms.

I'm having a hard time with frustration lately. When he tells me he thinks he's having a stroke/heart attack/aneurysm/rabies/brain tumor/dementia/etc., it makes me very anxious. I want to reassure him, but I'm terrified I'll be wrong and will tell him it's no big deal when it actually is. A few years ago, I was dismissive of a health concern of his that actually turned out to be legitimate, and now I'm freaked out about being wrong. So my own anxiety has gone through the roof.

I've asked him if he can cut back on how often he comes to me about his health unless he thinks it's really serious, and have asked him to tell his doctor instead, but he thinks everything's an emergency, so that hasn't really helped much. He won't take daily anxiety medication because it affects his creativity (which is understandable as that's what he does for work), but he won't take his Ativan, either, because it makes his brain foggy and he becomes convinced he has a brain tumor or dementia (and will then panic for a solid week until the brain fog goes away, which makes Ativan pointless). His doctor recently put him on a blood pressure medication that's supposed to help with anxiety, but he won't take that because he got a mild concussion a couple of weeks ago and is sure now that he has a brain bleed.

I just don't know what to do or how to help. I want to be supportive, but I'm getting frustrated because his anxiety is affecting mine and I feel like we're caught in a fear cycle that's never going to stop. I feel terrible saying this, but I'm kind of exhausted. I'm very protective, so knowing he's freaked out and there's nothing I can do because he won't listen to my reassurances is stressful. I feel completely useless. His anxiety is getting worse, not improving. I want him to go to therapy, but we're about to move overseas, so it's difficult to set that up when we're going to leave the country this June. I'm also admittedly frustrated that I can't talk about my own health anxiety without him immediately trying to get me to go to the hospital. My anxiety is at a constant hum in the back of my head because I have no one else to talk to about it and no one to seek reassurance from.

**TL;DR - How can I show him support while still taking care of myself? I've been getting irritable lately about his anxiety, and I feel horrible. I need to know how to support and help him through his health anxiety without aggravating my own. I want to talk to him about this, but every time I've admitted I'm frustrated, he feels like a burden (which is NOT true), so I don't know how to handle this at all.**