So, my husband and his mom are two people I know that said they think I've been acting differently and they know something is going on with me, but I literally feel like I always do. I was on Latuda for a long time but didn't like the side effects, so I tried Caplyta but had a really severe reaction and only took it for 3 days. After that my psych prescribed Rexulti and I picked it up but decided I didn't want to take an antipsychotic anymore and told her and she said that's it's ok. My husband and his mom said that ever since I change up my medicine I've been acting different and that I always "mess myself up" by trying to switch around my medicine.

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I've been talking to a lot of people on Discord lately since I haven't been working this past month while I'm recovering from a pretty bad concussion and they keep saying they think I'm in a mixed episode or rapid cycling. I told them that I felt like my moods were switching from normal to elevated to depressed but I don't think it's a big enough difference to be considered an actual episode. They say I've been talking more but that's just because I'm bored at home all day by myself since I'm not even supposed to be driving. Yesterday for about an hour I started to feel like I wasn't real/didn't really exist and that everything else was fake too. I had thoughts of doing something to myself or someone else to "prove" that I was real. Other people said it could be considered a delusion, but it only lasted for about an hour so I don't think it was a big deal. I brought it up to my new therapist today and she said it sounded like depersonalization/derealization from anxiety. Today was only my second session with her so she said she couldn't say if anything like that was going on because she didn't know what my "normal" is.

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My sleep schedule has also been a little out of whack but I'm pretty sure it's just from being off work and my psych agreed that it isn't that big of a deal since I'm still sleeping about 8-9 hours a night, but that I should try staying more consistent. When I was on Latuda I would take it after supper around 8:30pm and go to sleep around 9:30-10pm and sleep until about 7am for work. Starting last week I've been staying up until around 3-5am most nights but still sleeping around 8 hours.

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So, all of these people are saying I'm acting different and they think something is going on, but I think all these reasons can be dismissed. I literally think I've been acting just like my regular self but now that I don't have the routine of work my schedule is a little off. I was looking for a new job to help myself have something to do and to be able to get out of the house, but my family says that I should wait another week or two before I get one to make sure I'm actually feeling better. I also have been having a lot of doctor's appointments to figure out why I've had an issue with passing out.

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So, I just wanted to see what other people think and get some opinions. I was originally diagnosed with rapid cycling BP2, but my psych told me 2 days ago that she has me listed as BP1 with mixed features. I just wanted to add that in case it makes a difference. I've wondered if the times I thought I was hypomanic were actually just mania so when I actually get hypomanic I can't tell.