I (24F) have had my anxiety under controlish for three years now after moving away from abuse and to where i grew up. It began to get bad again when I had to move back to my home state post pandemic. My best friend (28M) moved to another state and the plan was to follow him there, because he eases my anxiety and well i love him a bunch. Mind you I had seen this person just about every day for 3 years. The separation has been nothing but negative for me and I have never missed someone so much that's still here. I am back at my grandparents for now and I feel judged and unwanted.

Unfortunately, my anxiety has turned me into a nuisance that needs reassurance all the time and my friend has grown tired of me. That or I just don't respond to anyone for weeks. I don't know how to help it and I wish I could explain the impending doom I feel. I have almost ruined my friendship and chance to live around someone that makes me happy again.

I am talking with a therapist but I don't want to take Xanax because it makes me too tired. My coping mechanisms don't help either. My heart is just always racing and I'm shaking. 

Thanks