I like being alone. But I don’t like being lonely. Its a place where I find myself a lot, and I then create scenarios of what could make it better. I know deep down what could make my life more enriching, however the first thing that comes to mind is never waking up. It seems the most fitting. I even dream about unaliving myself. That’s partially why I’m here. I’m just having a hard time experiencing this space I have. I’m a single 33 year old woman with no children. Most of my friends don’t share the same lifestyle. I feel as though I’m wasted space. What is my purpose? I’m going to therapy, as there’s a lot of other things that contribute to how I feel. Half of me thinks I’m feeling this way because I’m picking through all the trauma and the changes in my life and there’s a path of healing. But damn, some days it’s heavy af.