Just like the title says my fp is very abusive and emotionally manipulative. He just told me how I should kill myself and literally repeated everything I told him during one of my episodes of depression. Such as saying I’m worthless, failure, and have no meaning or purpose. But then afterwards he repeatedly tells me he loves me so much and that no one would ever love me like he does. I know I should leave bc that’s the smart thing to do but it’s so hard to walk away. 

I know that’s sounds dumb but I don’t know who I am without him. And he makes me feel emotion so intensely even if it’s negative emotion my brain tells me that’s better than feeling nothing. and he’s probably right about no one ever loving me that much.... I’m more scared of loneliness then anything... 