I had a conversation with my boyfriend last night, he told we would work through the intrusive thoughts together.

I then proceeded to project every single doubt and fear that has been hiding in my head since Christmas. That he was going to leave me, that he doesn’t love me, that I’m worthless, that I’m stupid, that I’m never going to change. I’m crazy and I’m exhausted.

It broke him. He feels like all of this love and support he gives me, is for nothing.

I’ve tried before, but I’ve mostly depended on my mood stabilizers to help. I have the BPD book that Debbie Corso wrote on my ebooks and the DBT workbook on my iBooks. What is the easiest way to start this? How many pages should I read a day? I really like ASMR and meditation, do you guys have any YouTube channels? What about apps that help keep you on track?

What’s the first thing I should be doing and the absolute first thing I should change?

Thanks guys.