I think sometimes I fabricate emotions in my head that I know aren't real, but still somehow still genuinely believe. I've struggled for a couple years to put this in to words so I'll give some extreme examples.

One night I texted my partner telling them I was asexual which has absolutely never been true. About 5 days later I woke up and snapped out of it, I knew that was insane, was never true and had no idea why I said that.

Another night I confessed my love for a close friend of mine that I never ever had feelings for, but in that moment I was 1000% confident and continued believing that for about 3 weeks until I woke up one morning and couldn't believe what I'd done.

I don't know why, but this almost exclusively happens when I'm up late at night, maybe it's unrelated, but I'm confident I'm only posting this because it's 2am and I know when I wake up I'll delete this and think I'm crazy and making all this up as usual.

I've tried to talk about this before, but I feel like words don't exist to describe the things going on in my head. Maybe it's as simple as being insecure, indecisive and frequently overtired. Maybe this doesn't belong here at all. Either way typing this out has made me feel a bit better until tomorrow night.