Hi!

I (22F) was just wondering - is there anyone else who’s aro/ace but with BPD? It’s…confusing to say the least. Like, I have a FP (21M) but it’s totally platonic. But it’s so frustrating! 

He also has BPD and has a partner who’s his FP and I’m just so damn alone. I’m trying really hard to branch out and make new friends but he’s been my person since we were like - 14. I’ve split on him before but always come back once I see reason. 

I also have severe anxiety and this has made me dependent on him - he’s my crutch. I can’t go out, I can’t go to events, I’m too scared to hang out with people when he’s not there. I’ve tried to date but have absolutely no interest. They’ve all ended awkwardly and painfully. 

I don’t know what I’m asking for, to be honest. I guess how to get myself out there and stop focusing on him. Tips, I suppose, on coping by myself? If you have any questions or need more info, I’d be happy to expand in the comments!