Hi everybody, hope you’re well

So firstly I’ve been seeing a girl for around a year.

We have moments where we are deeply in love and can’t get enough of each other.

But she has a kid who I get on well with but the dad wants her back and wants to be a family.

She suffers with depression and lots of things so when he gets at her it pushes her away from the both of us evacuee she hates the pressure.

Anyway, one night, as we are trying to all get along and make things work me and the kids dad are with her in her house helping set up for the kids birthday in the morning.

He’s drunk but all is good, then he starts getting a little aggressive towards her which ends up in a row between them and her calling him a c*nt telling him to get out the house.

Then he starts walking to me, arms out, saying “what, what” and I just sit there and take it.

It’s like I’m too scared to say anything.

I hate confrontation and get so shakey and can hardly talk because of the adrenaline so I do and say nothing. 

Eventually he leaves after things have calmed down and her parents have come home and settled everyone down and we are all good.

Me and her go to bed and she says “it would have been nice if you stuck up for me in there”

The thing is I could probably kill the guy with my bare hands and if a fight had broke out I could have held my own.

But like what can I do to basically become less of a pussy and stick up for myself and others without having to fight?

Furthermore,

My work boss pays me £70 a day which I know is far less than I am worth for what I do.

I’m self employed and am under no obligation to work for him but I’m too scared to quit or ask for a pay rise.

Some days if I do an hour earlier because we’ve finished the job he pays me half a day (£35) even though I’ve still worked pretty much a full day.

I also am forced to stay later through the week and sometimes do 10 hour days for no extra pay which technically balances out the shorter days.

But I’m too scared to say that to him cus I know the tension will rise 

What is wrong with me

I can’t say no either.

I can’t say bye when I want to leave because I feel bad for leaving or am too embarrassed to say bye in front of everyone 

I have so many ambitions but just feel like I can’t fulfill any of them because of who I am, I can’t stand up for myself or fight for what I believe in