I’ve had emotional problems since I was super little and always wondered why I was so sensitive compared to everyone around me. As I got older I started engaging in obsessive compulsive behaviors and now have ocd. I’ve been looking at the posts on this subreddit and it’s crazy how much I can relate. If someone I’m close to does something as simple as not text me back or talk to me in a certain tone I start becoming extremely anxious thinking that they hate me and are plotting against me. I always end up making a fool of myself because I panic so much over these things and make up these horrible scenarios of being abandoned and my friends don’t deserve this. I’ll go from super confident to thinking I’m the ugliest person on earth and crying myself to sleep. Some days I do pretty well and am happy, but if one small thing happens it sets me off and I sometimes even end up self harming or starving myself. Everyday I daydream about how I’d commit suicide, how people around me would react etc. I don’t understand this because I don’t think I’m depressed but I can’t get suicide off my mind most days, even if I’m just having a normal day my mind drifts off to the thought. Whenever I hear about celebrities dying it makes me daydream even more about dying myself. I turn 17 next month and I’m truly tired of living like this. My best friend asks me why I’m so sensitive and paranoid over everything and I don’t even know how to answer. Please tell me if this sounds like bpd because I really don’t understand why I’ve felt like this for the past decade