I might be a piece of trash for this. I've been abused mentally and physically my whole life, to the extent to where it's all I know that's all I've ever knew and, for the past year it has stopped they have left, I've always been in a toxic environment and now it feels like I can't function outside of one, it's nothing twisted but Its hard to actually put my walls and guard down for once. Sometimes I hate myself for being depressed because there's no reason to be sad, so I sit up all night feeling numb and dull, I guess my head is a confusing place for me and I wish I could escape it. I'm sick of feeling stupid and be mopey all day, I just wish I could just never wake up.