Long story short, after me initiating a breakup during one of my crazy BPD moods, my relationship with my boyfriend has been up in the air.

It’s been over two weeks since “The incident”. He sent me a big email saying that it made him feel bad that I don’t believe him whenever he tells me that I’m beautiful and he loves me and all of this. He said that I’ve got issues from the past that I’ve been holding onto and he doesn’t know how to fix it.

He never said that he wanted to break up. He never even said that he wanted us to take a break. He just said he wanted to slow down as far as talking about us moving in together and things like that.

So I thought that our communication would start to get back to normal. I’ve been messaging him about hikes I’ve gone on, Funny stories from work, etc. But he’s not responding the same way.

So I messaged him and asked him how he wanted to move forward with communication and he wrote back this really short email saying He didn’t know how to move forward with the communication and didn’t know how to deal with the situation. All he knew was that he still loved me.

This is crushing me right now and all I can do is just lay in bed and sleep because I don’t even want to be awake. I feel so confused because it feels like he’s pulling away Or trying to ghost me. If he wanted to break up he should’ve just said so. Because I’ve asked him twice before that if he didn’t want anything to do with me, just tell me.

I don’t know how to proceed. I don’t know what to do. He’s saying he still loves me, so if the feelings are there why is he not meeting me halfway and trying to rebuild what we had?

Please, I need some advice or insight