My entire life from childhood up to now, I have struggled expressing how I felt. I have some quirks that I don't notice that I do. I have some actions that will lead people to think I am crazy. 

I've tried my best to be normal or act normal but that would mean that I'd be boring and that my zest for life will be zapped out of my soul. 

Sometimes, I think about how I will look forward to becoming a better person but sometimes when I am reminded that I am a weirdo and am made fun of, I feel very sad. I feel like all my effort bore no fruit. 

I just cannot for the life of me be normal because I don't know how. If people were the ones in my shoes right now, I don't know how they would cope with it normally. Honestly maybe I am not alive anymore. 


I had been traumatized and am trying to overcome this. I want to be a better person. I can't wrap my head around how a 35 year old man with 6 kids makes fun of me (f22) at work for being weird. We both have the same rank. 

My resolve for now is that I will forever be weird. I will never allow anyone to take away the flame that helps me continue to live my life. I think differently and see the world in a way most cannot see. I know I will die weird. I know that I am the only one that I am.