Help!

I've had a really traumatic appointment with the doctor at my local metal health team. I've been self harming and am suicidal. She said I have BPD traits but I know I have full BPD and need this diagnosing as this is why I'm not getting better. She was just going to discharge me saying she didn't need to see me again and to contact a free service that runs courses on depression. To carry on with my sertraline and see my GP in a couple of weeks. I was totally honest with her and said I'm getting weak and don't think I'll make it two weeks. I told her I wanted to end my life. She offered me tissues and then sent me on my way. I was mortified. I rung my Mum who came up immediately and had a go at the doctor for letting me leave when I had harmed myself and told her I wanted to end my life and she did nothing, just discharged me. 

Two mental health nurses pulled me and my mum to a room to talk to us and they managed to get the doctor to prescribe diazepam for when I'm having a severe episode. They are having a meeting to discuss me on Tuesday. I know I can ring them in crisis, have all the numbers etc and a crisis plan. 

Does anyone have any advice on how to get a diagnosis. Even if it's private. It's a mind field and I can't carry on much longer.

I booke to see my GP today and I told her what happened and that I needed urgent help she said the following statements which killed me: "the system doesn't work like that" so what am I supposed to do? Kill myself?! "Can you not see it from.the doctors point of view" no! I am incredibly unstable and have severe mental health issues. To ask me to see other people's views when I'm in a state like that is absolutely ridiculous, I'm sick. And then yet again I said okay well I guess it's over, again, told her I was suicidal and she let me get up and leave my appointment in tears. 

I feel completely failed by so many professionals and it's making me worse. 

I'm hoping the nurses stand up for me in the meeting and something gets done but if not then I don't know where to turn!

The mental health nurses were really lovely and went above and beyond and one said to me she definitely thought I had BPD and told me to self diagnose for now so that I can find resources directly for BPD to help myself. 

I'm furious that 2 medical professionals let me leave when I told them I was going to end my life and said that there's nothing they can do for me. 

Help, please 😭