I don't feel as if I'm capable of relationships so it makes all of this a lot more confusing. Even friendships are just horrible to maintain sometimes. I push people away and I get mad or sad easily. I feel really unworthy of any and all relationships, and I have rejected romantic advances from close friends because I just... can't do relationships... idk why. When they move on I feel like my heart is breaking though. I'm so jealous and upset and I don't want to be, but I can't help it. Idk how to handle any of it. It makes me feel like I'm losing it a little bit. I simultaneously feel like I should've taken the chanceon those relationships and I feel grossed out by the idea of being close with anyone. Agh.