Ok, you're propably going to think I'm just childish and need to get over it, but I'm furious and don't know what to do.

I love boardgames and have been playing for years. Not much, but as a hobby, with people in a gaming club. So I know how to lose and take it. I've won, been the last and anything between, and have always been happy to just get to play.

At first playing with my bf was the same. We have four games (Carcassonne, Ticket to ride, Scrabble and Gemblo). Bf is wicked intelligent and I adore him for it. I loved playing with him at first. But the last 3 Carcassonnes, all 4 Ticket to rides (got it as an Xmas gift from him since he knows I love the game) and now even the last Scrabble (and I've always had the upper hand in Scrabble) I've lost with no possibility to win. I just quit half way with S last night and left. Didn't give him a hug or allow him to come with me to my place.

I'm furious at myself. I feel I'm an idiot and can't play anything anymore, with him or possibly with anyone else. Too many defeats. I don't know what to do, how to be reasonable, how to get over this. I don't want to see him or have him console me, as it would feel he's just pitying me for being so dumb. For the last 3 games we've played I've been constantly feeling worse and worse about losing, I've talked and been honest about the feeling, and it has helped none. 