I've always wanted a girl who is funny and intelligent and open-minded and understands me. Who can be my partner in the best sense. And who is good looking.

I have a very poor self image and lots of resentment and emotional inhibition in me. Needless to say I cannot get the girl I want. My friend go out with girls that match them. Nice girls, emotionally mature girls, educated girls. But I cannot finds this combination. The girls that I attract are either unattractive (I am sorry for saying this but I cannot be with someone I don't find pretty) or we have little in common. The same way I haven't been able to become the best version of myself I haven't been able to unfold myself and become attractive and to become a desired man for nice and intelligent girls.

I feel I am doomed. I feel that this is 'unfair'. I could be a different person if I had a partner to share my secrets and life with and if I could have access to the intimacy I need. All things considered I sometimes feel that I am in the wrong country/region and I should move to somewhere where girls are either more open minded or more traditional. European girls in general tend to be... uninterested. They just don't care about you. They just don't want to make an effort to appeal to you.

All I can see is that people who are in a relationship have been for a long time and there are established communities everywhere but it is very difficult to just 'mingle'. Sure, you can go to cardboard game nights or pub quizzes or hiking clubs, but even there I find it very hard to get someone's attention. Most girls who would be worth fighting for are just long taken. Others are just simply not interested. Gone is the era where you can just walk up to a woman, start chatting and have a real hope of success.

Another problem is my age. At 30 I can see that most decent girls are in a relationship and are planning a family. The 'leftovers' like me are the problematic ones. And even they are quite desirable because there will always be more hungry men then women.

My main problem being is that I cannot live up to my own potential and as a result to the girls who would be my league.

Am I doomed?