Hi guys. I will be ranting a bit thanks for reading through. I’d appreciate if you share a similar experience as it pertains to anxiety and lack of sleep. 

I just started a new job on Tuesday. I need to mention that for over a year and a half I had been working from home. It was convenient and flexible. My new job is in the office. I start at 8am and leave at 5. I was very excited for this job but quickly became disillusioned by a few things I noticed. I began to feel unhappy and I felt guilty to even feel that during my first two days! I went into work for the past two days without much to do, literally. They said it would be slow but they didn’t really try to give me new tasks. I had to pretend to be busy doing something. I don’t like that I much rather do something productive. Anyway for the past two days I haven’t been getting sleep. I am thinking about work! I am thinking about how it’s gona go and how long the day at work will feel. I think this has to do with me adapting again to an in person job and waking up early. My mind was also up thinking about how maybe I won’t wake up on time. I have gone the past two nights like that. Last night I started feeling a sore throat and mild cough. I immediately get worried about COVID. I didn’t get any sleep and still when I try to nap I can’t. They let me take today off but they told me if it wasn’t too bad I could come in. Is that ok? I still don’t feel 100% I went to get tested today but getting results tomorrow. I feel aweful the whole day thinking how I’m gona have to call out tomorrow. I don’t know if what pushed me to really call out was the fact that I didn’t get any sleep. What’s worse. I need some support. I can’t avoid thinking about it. I feel so bad. Also I feel bad I am not feeling completely excited about this job. My top choice job scheduled me for an interview tomorrow. It’s with the city, and im also nervous about that. Im gona take advantage of the fact that im taking tomorrow off to do the interview. But at the same time I feel guilty. And I feel like shit. My anxiety is worsening. Should I be feeling like this? Is it ok to take a shot at this other job when i just started a new one? This happened to me before. I ended up taking my second choice job before bc they got to me sooner. Also I was scared to risk missing my second day of training for the interview at the other job. I doubted myself thinking I wasn’t good enough for such a good job. So I kindly denied the interview. At the end of the day I still settled for what turned out to be such a good first job after college. I find in the same position now. But I feel like I should really take a shot.

Sorry guys I wrote so much. Thank you❤️