And it often feels completely difficult to do simple things. Its very embarrassing and emotionally draining. I feel so ashamed asking for help, and right now I need to motivate myself to get this part of my life going.  I lost my food stamp benefits because I got mixed up with deadlines. So now until i can get that going again i got to really budget and make the right moves. Got to look for a job again and just need to do whats best. I don’t want my partner to leave me and I’m scared she gets tired of what I’ve been dealing with. Most days I just really cry and wish the medication could actually just work. I don’t want to keep going on different medication. And I don’t want to go through this cycle again.