I finally quit my shitty job that’s made me miserable for the past two years and at the end of the month I’m starting a better one that theoretically I should like a lot more. I’m in a stable long distance relationship with a girl I care a lot about. I’m trying to take steps to fix myself and get my life together but it’s all so slow. All of my friends have left town for college or for the sake of independence and every day I feel so lonely and trapped in my own head. It’s so hard to motivate myself to do anything, just trying to keep my room clean or to shower regularly takes so much energy. I keep telling myself I’ll fuck everything I try to do up and that I’ll never actually improve. Maybe I don’t want to improve. I just wish I was a kid again but that won’t happen. I don’t know if I believe I’ll ever actually be happy. I kinda think everyone fakes their own happiness to make life more tolerable. Wish I died in high school so I wouldn’t be here now.