I don't see or talk to any close friends anymore and I had alcoholic parents and don't talk to family either. I wasn't raised to have any skills I need, I have no social ability whatsoever. My social anxiety is so bad sometimes I can't leave my apartment if there's someone outside. I can't make friends or meet people, even if I force myself to try I come across weird and awkward and can't connect to people.




This is the loneliest period in my life, I have absolutely nobody really and I'm too paralyzed by social anxiety and no social skills to change that. I don't feel like making friends now is even possible, let alone ever dating.



I have no self esteem, I hate who I am, my body, my personality, everything. I can't stand to look in mirrors or reflections on a screen or window even.




I did great in school and it was a passion for me, until I got to college and was too anxious and depressed. I failed and dropped out and am now stuck with all this debt, no college credits, and a shitty retail job I don't care about. Living paycheck to paycheck, barely, not even close to being able to save money or elevate myself financially.




Frankly I don't want to be alive anymore, I'm only here because I am. I just feel like a robot going through the motions. Sleep, eat, work, eat, sleep, eat, work, sleep..


My life is meaningless and I hate it but there's nothing I can do about it