ive been feeling so lost and unhappy here. i keep myself alive knowing that my best friend and mom would be heartbroken if i wasnt here. i just wish i had more reasons. i wish i was interested in things. i am in therapy, i started a new job, took a break from school, ive tried painting again, watching new shows, finding new music, sewing, tarot, cooking, everything that has peaked an interest and i always lose it at some point. i dont feel safe in my own house, i dont feel happy when i do things anymore. i know its okay to not be okay, i just dont remember what its like to be okay and it gives me more reasons to leave. maybe um not making sense. if anyone has anything that makes then happy to be alive please let me know. its my birthday and im alone