This issue has always been a big root for all my worries and insecurities in my life. I had a terrible highschool experience because I encountered really judgemental people. I wasnt "bullied" but I was picked on a lot which really ruined my self esteem and affected me into the person who I am today. People dont seem to like me or take me seriously. I feel really anxious when meeting people I used to go to highschool with in public because I will always feel inadequate and insecure and forced to act in a way that will make sense to them and suit their overall perception of me, which I dont understand why I feel the need to do so but I dont want anyone to judge me. I would see a bunch of people from my past highschool at the train station everyday. it sucks and ruins my day. 

I dont know why i am so self conscious. Maybe because no one was really supportive of me as a child. But I create fake scenarios with people I used to know and it stresses myself out. I am scared of people recognising me or even hearing my achievements. I just want absolutely nothing to do with anyone of them. For example, I realise that I will probably never want to pursue being a Youtuber, (i dont actually want to be a youtuber but i just feel sad thinking about this) I do not want anyone I used to know who used to judge me and make fun of me to see me. And even when I get a job I am scared to see people I knew at my job. I just want to hide from the world. I sound so pathetic.