More than anything, I find myself (rather often) wishing I'd catch a cold or the flu, because at least it'd be something tangible. The people around me would know that I feel like shit, and it's not my fault. A fever can be measured, but my brain giving me the bad feels isn't a very good excuse to most people. During the middle of a pandemic, I feel genuinely awful wishing I'd get sick when people are out here dying for real, but it's just one of those things I can't really control.