I'm working so hard on myself. I'm in 3 therapy sessions a week. My life has improved more in the past year (since my diagnosis and start of meds) than it did in all 12 years of therapy before that, and I am endlessly proud of myself.

But it still isn't good enough. I'm still losing relationships. The longest, most beautiful relationship I've ever had is nearly dead because it's just still too much. They've never had to deal with anyone like me before. It makes me feel crazy because I feel like I'm doing so well now I could cry, but it's still not palatable for people who have never had to deal with any of this before. Is my best really that unbearable still? Is my idea of peace and stability really that warped?

At what point will I be "normal" enough for mentally/emotionally healthy, securely attached people to be able to stomach me? Will I just not be able to date anybody unless they share the same struggles at the same intensity?

I'm climbing this mountain on beast mode but it still looks to others like I'm at the bottom because they're looking down at me from so far up above. Please just give me a damn minute, it's a big gap to close, and I'm going as fast as I can. I wish that would be good enough for you, but I don't have superpowers, and you don't want to wait.