DAE experience this? I have so much anger inside of me all the time, just waiting to spring up over dumb shit. Sometimes when I sit and think, my mind races, playing out memories, daydreaming about scenarios or stories I've read that pissed me off or making up shit in my head to be angry about, and it gets me so mad my head starts to hurt. It's like I'm constantly upset about something, but I just don't know what. I'm so sick of it. This anger causes me to just lash out, and it's almost like I can't stop it in the moment because it's reached a tipping point and I'm a backseat driver trying to get it to stop. I disassociate a lot, and half the time when it's over I barely remember what's said depending on the level. It happens over anything, and I try my very best to just calm down or remove myself, but well meaning people try to talk to me when I'm trying to calm down and it just makes it worse. It's like I can't be reasoned with, my mind will not let me. I'm sick of living like this. I'm sick of all this anger. I know where I learned the habits -- from my dad, but I don't know *why* I'm so angry and I don't know how to stop it when I'm at what I call "The Point of No Return." It's fucking with my relationship. And quarantine has made it worse since all I ever do is think. I'm currently in therapy for anger management. Just started it. It's helping some, and I'm trying to politely talk to the voice, yk? And tell it to stop, but it's almost like it isn't enough. 

At this point, should I be on mood stabilizers? Should I look into taking medication? I'm just overwhelmed and it's almost like this vicious cycle of getting really angry, blowing the FUCK up, and then hating myself for DAYS for blowing up over the dishes not being done a certain way, or the house being a wreck, or just anything tiny. There's no NEED to be like this. WHY AM I LIKE THIS????? Jesus H. Christ, just make this shit STOP.