Unlike many posts I see, my friend my favorite person. Maybe it helps that I am ace and I don't really get into relationships. She is wonderful, funny, and was always there when I was in a bad place. I loved and respected her as an amazing friend. Recently it feels like she is drifting away. She's not responding as much, laughing at my jokes, our classes dont match and she is near graduation (I had to take a long gap year). 



She also made a friend who I see only the best od myself in; he is funny and witty and cool and got his shit together in a way I probably never will. He always manages to make her laugh in a way that I used to before. There is no reason to dislike him, but I hate the feeling that I am being replaced and she doesn't like that I am this conscious about this issue so i can't really bring this issue up and she has her own life to worry about so she cant listen to me vent now and I totally understand but it still feels like shit and-



The very thought of this is driving me down an insanely depressive spiral, the delusion (reality?) that she is becoming more detached from me and that she is finally sick of seeing me be a garbage fire overall. She is a better person than I am. I would have given up a long time ago. She has every right to abandon me slowly but it still feels like I am going to die. This makes me withdraw from her because Im afraid I will say the wrong shit or finally give her the last reason to ditch me for good. I've talked to her about how I feel. She tells me to relax and stop worrying. I think her heart's not in it anymore. She has a terribly wonderful luminous life ahead of her and I will be dragging her down. Maybe I am better off alone. Maybe everyone was right whe  they said I will die alone. Maybe I don't deserve friends.



Anyone else feel like that? How do I break out of this loop? Words of comfort? Anything is welcome.