This isn’t worth it anymore.. frankly, I don’t know why I’m even writing this… I love too much, and love too hard. I care so much, that I don’t care for myself… I’ve seeked help, but it only goes so far and the pain has become my best friend and worst enemy. I’ve pushed everyone away, my passions, my dreams, and gave the last piece of my heart to a girl I thought we shared the same energy, the bonnie to my Clyde. All that I invested into her was taken away from me… completely losing my identity.. it’s partly my fault because I let my guard down. I’ve been dealing with mental health issues such as BPD for the last 17years, I am now 30. I’ve met the end of the road… to the point of no return.. my heart, well I don’t know where it is anymore as it was taken from me stuck in a vicious cycle of a trauma bond. My mind, has stopped for once… but my soul, that’s now empty. I’m a shell of a man… feeling loved and pouring love to me was one of the hardest things and the most exhilarating to achieve and I did it, I finally fukn did it, and now here I am writing my last words… I hold no hate or grudges, I am letting go. I did what I could in this world by putting everyone else first just so they didn’t have to experience pain or to feel left out… but now, it’s my time to be selfish. To go away.. to no longer burden and hurt people the way that I have… hurt people, hurt people.. the hurt, is just too much, too unbearable… not everyone was meant to be here but we at least participated, and I’ve been fighting the inevitable for quite some time…

I need to end this novel, behind this beautiful tragedy. I love you.