Okay so me and my boyfriend have been dating for around five months. I didn’t really want a relationship at first because I knew I had commitment/ attachment issues. Also wasn’t initially very attracted to him. He was hot to me but his personality wasn’t. And its not like hes even a bad person hes super sweet he treats me so well, he doesn’t argue or yell back at me when I have outburst, and hes very understanding. I just don’t like how he’s so submissive and not very confident in himself. Its so attractive to me when guys are confident in themselves. But he asked me out and i dont know how to say no. At first it was very difficult for me. I was constantly fighting with myself wether or not I had made a mistake and wether or not I actually liked him. This got better over time and I have grown to love him. I was doing good for a while I felt nothing but love, attraction, and sympathy for him. I was so much more understanding of his anxieties and insecurities (mind you, he has terrible anxiety which is where all the insecurity comes from) I always wanted to be around him and i was planning my whole future with him and actually looking forward to it (and idk if this might have anything to do with it but I had just started Adderall and was becoming very happy with my life overall.) Fast forward like 3-4 weeks later, things are now unbearable. I pick apart every single thing he says and does, im so irritable around him, and genuinely just cannot fucking stand him. Especially in public when his anxiety gets at an all time high and he worries about every little thing. Hes not even doing anything wrong at all. I am just in a bad place overall and have been feeling depressed everyday for weeks and now im so confused because I dont know if im splitting, self sabotaging, just depressed, or if I just dont like him and it’s driving me insane and making my depressive episode worse. Please even if you don’t have advice, just some words of condolence or literally just ANYTHING would help right now because this is tearing me apart. I cant imagine losing him or my life without him but idk what to do it’s becoming unbearable