Every day I lay in my bed for the 15 so hours Im not forced to be at school. I never clean my room which is just building up and I feel I'm rotting. I can go months dissociating and not shower, it'll feel like no time at all and I don't care about showering at all. It feels like the least important thing and I don't feel like I have any bit of energy to stand. 
How do I care about those things? I don't like being made fun of, I don't like being a burden on others yet I wouldn't try to uphold my self for anyone. I feel I'm just waiting to stop seeing things and people just keep insulting me. I feel hurt even though it's true and I couldn't even try to fix it. I hate every part of myself. I wish it was easy to get up yet I feel like I'm glued here.