I don't know what to do.  My major sources of anxiety are calling people, admitting mistakes, and asking for help.

I finally managed to reach out and tell someone how I've been feeling for the last 30 years or so...

After 6 weeks of treatment. I ran out of the prescription for my meds so I stopped taking them because being having run out for one day I was terrified of calling my GP to admit I had run out.    I was even signed off work for a few weeks, but let that lapse because I was worried about making a phone call to discuss it.  Basically my GP must assume that because I didn't call back I'm absolutely fine now?  Or the just don't think about me at all unless I'm actually on the phone to them.

My therapist missed a session, and I was so worried about *them* feeling bad about it I couldn't speak to them any more.  CBT was like hell anyway,  having 'homework' to do (that I inevitably procrastinated over) just meant the anxiety spiked even higher before the sessions and I closed up and basically lied to the therapist about how I was feeling.   Basically all I gained from it was refreshing my memory of childhood trauma.  Thanks.

So now, I've done what I was supposed to do,  reached out for help,  but now 6 weeks on I've got no therapy, no medication, back at work full time and getting even more stressed, and everyone thinks I've made a miraculous fucking recovery and everything's all rainbows and butterflies but really,  I've learned that even if I do the one thing I've been trying to do for so long, and ask for help,  it doesn't make fuck all difference anyway.