People want you for your empathy. They want you for how loving and caring you are. They want your highs when you're confident and active and happy. But the second you hit a low, or the second you try and set boundaries for yourself, they want to preach about how you "need help". They say they want you to be "better" but once they realize "better" might not give them everything they want from you, then you're a bad person.

I'm thinking of this because every time I try and set personal boundaries, the people close to me get bitchy. When I ask for space, or I want to do things for me only, I'm selfish and an asshole. They don't get that me constantly trying to please them is part of the disease, as much as the low points are. I love them, but me going around with my head lodged up their asses isn't healthy. But you bet they want me to continue that, because even if it makes it harder for me to be my own person, it benefits them. But when I try to explain that it isn't healthy for me, then I'm just an asshole. 

It feels like when you're borderline everyone wants you to get better, but only when it inconveniences them for you to be borderline. Not when it benefits them.