Hey everyone,

I (17F) am an ambitious overachiever who just keeps having breakdowns and starting to really fail. In the past year and a half, a lot of shit went down. I was pretty much set to be recruited to the Ivy League but then a new coach took over my team and destroyed everything I had worked for. He would corner me and pull me alone and tell me all these bad things about me that are lies, torture me with workouts that only I had to do to belittle my confidence, and much much much more all while pretending to be the kindest person on earth to everyone else. He has been banned from interacting with women before but he got a fresh start here. 

I basically suck now, am still on the same team now as a failure rather than a star (its painful to watch others rise above me but I am happy for them, I just wish my life had been different), and am now I may get two Bs in school. I coped with the sports loss by thinkinh maybe I would still have a chnace at the Ivies without sports bc I had great academics but now every day my anxiety is getting the best of me and I just want to die. Wanting to die has just been repeating in my head for the past two weeks. Plz help :,(