I used to just act on my feelings so freely. It was stupid and embarrassing but now I think so hard about things. And while it's definitely for the better, I miss being so emotionally free. I wouldn't respect myself enough and I'd just go after what I wanted whether it was bad for me or not. Obviously, it's good that I've grown away from that, but I miss the innocence of it. Or perhaps naivety. It's also something I can never go back to. I can't erase the knowledge that I have now. I'm really proud of how far I've come, but I miss the freedom. I miss never holding back.
I'm not sure how to fully explain it, but maybe some of you know what I mean.