I know that title is super offensive, but bear with me. So, my roommate and i have issues. Mainly just because its hard for me to set boundaries, she's in all of my classes, and we have the same group of friends (we're in a grad program together). I feel lie my identity is being consumed by hers. I have been at this school for 5 years, and this is her first but people always come to her if they are worried about me (they see cuts or can tell I am upset or something). Even the university was getting reports of my cutting and got two reports of 'verbal assault' I was upset and swearing with her, but it wasn't to her or about her, just venting. And she went into the university meeting without telling me and even told them not to tell me and it was a huge misunderstanding, and mediated the whole situation between the school and I. I think this is all BS and its driving me crazy and making my behavior worse (I am acting out to get a reaction more). She also tells me about other people talking about me behind my back and stuff and making me feel super isolated dependent on her.

However.... I am kind of concerned that I am just not trusting her and freaking out over nothing and blaming her for a toxic relationship when really its my own trust issues and my own inability to behave. I have never ever had the professors or school have to deal with my mental health or anything like that before, and it is very concerning for me because I am planning to go to phd and enter academia. I don't want a reputation. What should I do? What *can* I do? Move out (a lot of work and the management hates me, itd be hard)? End our friendship but see her all the time and live with her? ...And hope that she doesn't go to the school and tell them I am a problem? 

How do I know when it is the relationship or just my BPD symptoms??