Nothing I do can fill this void in my soul. No amount of impulse buying &amp; shitty fast food will make me happy long term. Dropping out of uni &amp; changing majors didn't help. Finding new hobbies didn't make me feel any wholer. Trying to find new people and new friends never fills this damn empty space, no one can replace my old fp, no one can replace the people I loved, no one can replace the memories, I'll never find anyone that was like the last, even when I thought I had everything I still felt empty. Nothing I do can fix the mistakes I made, there are no time machines, there's just cold darkness that demands everything when there's nothing good enough to give it. I'm feeling pretty hopeless. I don't want to feel this way for the rest of my life, I don't even feel like a person most of the time. I'm just a disassociated blur who ends up ruining absolutely everything I come into contact with. No matter how good I think my intentions are, the monster inside always comes out of the dark.