My boyfriend is my FP and along with that the FP stuff came. Me getting starry eyed, smiling at his texts, etc, wanting to devote my life to him. I love him. 

Today he said something hurtful, I was talking about how I wondered if I was an extrovert who might have become introverted through difficult circumstances in my life because I wasn’t like that as a kid. 

He mentioned that in my photos I looked thin and asked if it is related to my weight gain. 

I’m trying to lose weight, and have lost some already. I’m obsessed with it. What he said hurt me, and I let him know. He apologized but I didn’t feel it was enough (it is a sour point for me because my two last relationships my ex’s used my weight to hurt me.) and his responses were brief. I was bothered by that and sent him a long message telling him I needed more than just an apology. He gave me some more answers of understanding, and he is treating me nice. Saying he will be there for me and help me on my self improvement journey. 

To a normal person this would be enough but I’ve split and it doesn’t seem to be enough for me. Like I have an unquenchable desire for emotional intimacy. He means 100 percent well, he’s a great person and treats me right. Why am I doing this then? 

Why is my BPD telling me this isn’t enough. No amount of telling him I need emotional intimacy will make me satisfied. I’m just causing troubles and metaphorically banging my head against a glass window because it feels better than doing nothing. 

I can’t express this to him because I’ve been negative all day and it feels like I shouldn’t do more. 

What should I do? What do I do when someone I love is doing their best and it doesn’t feel enough for my emotional-support-seeking-ravenous-BPD? Thanks