I don't know if my heart getting shattered a couple months ago is what made me go back to the depths of my depression now. I haven't been this bad in so many years, it's insane that it came back. All I want to do is patiently wait till I die. Sometimes I want to make that day come as soon as possible, it's fucked up. Its the last thing I wanted after working so fucking hard to get out of it in the first place, fuck life, it's horrible, I couldve protected myself better knowing how bad it might get.