It's a long story, but the trajectory of my entire life has changed within a month (yes, really). I've had too many arguments with my family about it, I've had too many people offer their unsolicited advice about my life without listening to what I have to say. I screamed at the top of my lungs what I wanted, but apparently nobody heard me. I've been depressed on and off for three years, but now it just isn't going away. I think about suicide often, but I never go through with it because I tell myself not to be stupid and to suck it up. I am exhausted, but I need to push through because the next chapter of my life starts very soon. I wish I could be happy or at least grateful for the opportunities I'm getting, but I feel like my family has ruined that for me. I'm so tired I wish I were dead.