But it's not just to them, I'm so unhappy and worried and have intrusive/insecure thoughts almost all of the time with anything and everything! Even when I seem fine on the surface, I'm hating myself or worrying about how hurt I will be from not-real-worst-case-scenarios. I can tell he's really getting tired and fed up even though we've been together for a long time. I don't notice it as much but he says I'm complaining all of the time, I'll ask suspicious questions of him or question his motives for simple decisions, I'll find a way to compare myself negatively. I understand his frustration because he thinks he doesn't make me happy, BUT HE DOES. He's my favorite person in the entire world and I hate to see him hurting because of me, being me. I hate me. I need help but I don't want to medicate. I tried cognitive behavioral therapy for over a year but I feel like it didn't help me change my thinking patterns (but definitely more aware of it). I love my SO so much, I need help in letting go of bad thoughts/worries and lessening my reactions from being so irritated/angry. 

Is there any other effective way to change constant negative thinking patterns/self-hate? Any one try EMDR?