I don't really feel any joy in my life. I've been depressed my whole life and it didn't really get better. I've tried therapy and medication but I didn't notice a difference. I have a mom and a sister that love me. A couple of guy friends that care about me. But it doesn't feel like enough. I've never had a romantic partner and it's always hurt me that I never got to be with someone special like that. I'm not ugly but not attractive either. I look like a short average doomer. I went to college and got a job if the medical field but I honestly hate working in hospitals/ clinics anymore. I don't know how to meet new people anymore. And even when I do I have nothing to talk about because I'm too depressed. I'm not really interested in anything but video games and anime and the occasional live action show. So I'm pretty damn boring for most people. No one reaches out to me so I'm alone 90% of the time. And even when I'm with people I still feel so miserable because I hate my life. Money doesn't make me happy, sex doesn't make me happy, video games and anime distract me but don't make me happy. I just want to feel  but no one can ever love me cause I'm not interesting enough. Please can someone talk to me and help me.