Last night, I sent 7 of my friends texts confronting them about things I felt they were hiding from me. I'll admit, I was severely paranoid because my last few friendships everyone would hide things from me because they fear me overreacting or crying.

By the end of the night, I regret everything because I should've just left these feelings alone. I got plenty of responses, yelling, and few were okay with what I said. However, I've never felt so embarrassed in my life. I haven't messaged any of them back since. I decided to delete/deactivate my social media until I at least felt better. However, I don't think I'll ever be better at least with this. I just want to hide and I don't really have any of the guts to go back to the situations. 

I know it's avoidance, but I can hardly leave my house. I am only talking to one friend (barely) and the rest I've already embarrassed myself to. 

I don't want them to think I'm going to kill myself or anything. But no one's asked if I was safe, so I figure they don't really care either way. 
I don't want to go back and have everyone hate me for ghosting. I don't want to go back and have everyone ask me if I hate them. I don't want to send them a text telling them I'm alright because I feel like it'll annoy them. I just want to disappear.