My emotions  rn sre frustration, sadness hopelessness. Idk where this came from . All i know is, i don't want to study anymore. Can't tell my parents because i know they'll get tired of me. I'm already sick physically and now my mental health is sick. I don't want to be a burden.  But I can't do anything about it. I told them everything about what i felt before.  but I can't tell them about it rn. I Know they are tired. And I'm too. I wamt to do drugs and boost my happiness. All i think about now is drugs. Idk if it will make me crazy as long as it will noost my cognition. I can't read suddenly and I'm so frustrated snd sad about it. I  feel no satisfaction  and i keep on scrollig on my phone to boost my mood but it doesn't help. I fucking need drugs. I'm not a drug addict , i never tried  those kind of drugs like party drgus before and that's what i crave rn. I fucking hate everything specially my mind. I want to blow my mind with gun.