This is kind of a long read, so sorry.

Hello, I am a 23 year old sister to my 16 year old brother. I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, if you are aware of the disorder it’s a living HELL. Growing up, my father was mentally physically and emotionally abusive to both my mother and I. I don’t want to go into many details but, he was satan himself. He was drunk all the time, he would eat in-front of my mother and say she couldn’t eat because she was fat. (She was about 8 months pregnant with my brother.) He would beat on both of us. He would cheat on her and brag about it.  My mother did everything in her power to escape. Which she did for about 3 years until she got diagnosed with cancer and went back to my father just so my brother wouldn’t be alone. She sadly passed away this past November. Yes the abuse continued till the day she died. She left him over $800,000 and a brand new house. My brother and I never saw a DIME. Since my mom passed my brother has been acting strange.

I AM SCARED FOR MY BROTHER.

My brother was a regular baby growing up I guess. He cried a little more than normal but an overall okay cute little baby. As a toddler my brother still wasn’t talking or walking. So, my mother hired an in home special needs teacher who said he was mentally delayed. My brother learned “baby sign language” very fast so we all knew he was very smart. He was very shy but would only really sign to me to communicate what it was that he needed/wanted. I was his best friend as he was mine since making friends was hard for me with bpd. My brother would get frustrated very easily since it was hard to communicate. He would vomit on purpose when he was up set and smile when someone else cleaned it up. We had an earthquake (very rare on the east coast) my mom and I were frantic, my brother was laughing, smiling!!! When my brother was 5 years old, we were visiting our grandparents for the summer. They would always say he was retarded   and lazy that he just didn’t want to talk and walk. (Its a stigma that African Americans don’t have mental health issues) It was really late at night and my brother and I snuck to the kitchen to get some cereal and milk, and I shit you not, he SAID “can I have captain crunch, and I’m NOT retarded.” And got up and started walking!!!!!!!! I was on the other hand SHITTING bricks. The way he said it sounded like a mad professor who’s been talking for years! It’s like he was comfortable showing me what he knew he could do all along! Mind you my brother is very sweet and caring, wouldn’t hurt a fly! 

As a teen my brother is currently on the football team at his school and I so awesome! He also has a hard time with school work. He’s a D student. He would rather read than listen to the lectures. He is also ALWAYS playing video games but I guess most teens do. (I’m super guilty) When my mother sat us down and told us about her diagnosis, my first instinct was to cry(she was the best, the one who got me help) My brother on the other hand stated with a monotoned voice and expression “how long do you have to live”. We were shocked! Since that day his emotions have been gone! Completely erased. He didn’t shed a tear when the hospital called, at her funeral, after the funeral or any time for that matter. I told him it’s okay to cry and he said “she’s okay now why cry?” I again was shocked! He’s very religious(We aren’t a religious family) 

I went to visit him as a surprise the other day and he was so happy! We’ve missed each other. I wish I could take custody but I can barely survive on my own. I went upstairs to the kitchen to make us a snack and I saw a stuffed bear on the counter torn to shreds with multiple knives in it. It’s like I saw myself in my brother! I was so scared! So I went in his room to look for the worst... his mattress on his beat was stabbed multiple times.... his couch had knife wounds in it. I was scared no for others safety but for what’s going on in his head. He’s a sweetheart with lots of friends. 

I’m asking for help since I can’t take him to get a diagnosis since he is in the care of my father. My father is also trying to get “power of attorney” for me?? What do you think this is? Is it bpd? Please and thanks!