Sorry ahead of time for ranting:
I matched with this guy (let’s call him L) a while ago on tinder and i have been hanging out w him and his roommate (a female i’ll call B). Me and L fucked a few times, as was to be expected for tinder meet ups, but most of the time us three hung out and did A LOT of drugs. these last few days we’ve been doing ecstasy, coke, and adderall, along with weed and alcohol. i’ve had a huge fucking crush on L since we met and as to be expected my dumb ass mental illness made me treat him like a FP when he barely gives a shit about me in that sense. so i obviously fucked myself over again by liking this guy who’s constantly talking about all the girls he’s fucking, and always having excuses why we can’t fuck. anyways i’m coming down from coke and i was so sad and pissed off and thinking about him so i fucking texted him “if u don’t wanna have sex with me whatever i just wish you’d fucking tell me :/“ and he opened it and hasn’t said anything and i’m freaking out but kinda just numb as well because i sabotaged another  friendship by being horribly narcissistic and now i might have lost my two closest friends and i don’t know what to do