How do you find the motivation to stop self injuring?

I feel like I'm always going to be alone so why bother?

I feel like if I stop, I'll just be sad, empty and alone.

I feel like I can't control my anger and self injuring helps.

I feel like when I contemplate suicide, self injuring gives me an out.

I feel like I can be in control and be both the abuser and the abused.

I feel like the abuse I experienced wasn't valid, because it doesn't fit in the area of physical abuse or sexual abuse. It was mostly psychological and neglect and the way I was repeatedly attacked physically/sexually is hard to explain/define. I wasn't molested or raped, but I act like a rape victim, because of what my Dad did.