 I go to get help from a psychiatrist, it's you'll get the help you need only if you don't resist a diagnosis that puts you among those who traumatized you. Those who said your an ableist, a slur, for not allowing a mentally disabled person into your life who causes you fear. For example say someone who is a poor misunderstood person who has no friends, but payed a psychiatrist to say their manipulative behaviors were a mental disorder. 

Who then is surrounded by enablers who reinforce their victimhood, because it keeps them from having to confront the person they're involved with is a pathological abuser. It's far more neat and tidy to say they have a condition, than put in the hard work of holding them responsible. See the Law and Order SVU episode Holden's Manifesto for an example. 

Let me explain how ableist is a slur. A slur is an insinuation or allegation about someone that is likely to insult them or damage their reputation. It carries the threat that either you let this person who is likely dangerous into your life, or have ot spread around you hate disabled people and are a cruel bully. With no insight that their behavior actually is bullying, but since society from fear of not treating those with mental disabilities the politically correct way will not hold them accountable, they know they can get away with it.

Recently there was an attack on the White House Capitol by insurrectionists, all clearly mentally ill. I was surprised the news later stated this as from what I've known no one can acknowledge mentally ill people can be dangerous or violent without being attacked by mental health advocates. I have severe anxiety at acknowledging this, as since I was a child doing so would result in emotional abuse.

Despite seeing things may be changing, I still get anxious and scared of seeking help, because when I do they say I'm on the Autism spectrum that goes from an odd person to the Qanon shaman who was singing on the capitol balcony bizzarely and derangedly. 

Why someone would believe there would be a benefit from putting shy scared people in with people who can't help overreacting to what seems like shadows no one can see but them constantly baffles me. You don't have to go to college and earn a psychiatry degree to see how this guarantees traumatizing people.

I see behavior in my panic attacks such as shaking, and behaving upset that I've been convinced marks me as mentally disabled. I've been in support groups where parents would aid their sons in sexually harassing me into dating them, I couldn't say no or I'd be shunned as an ableist. 

I understand it's likely gotten to a point of unreasonable paranoia, I'm no longer a child other parents can manipulate. I'm trying to recover from being terrified of myself because my panic attacks marked me as an opportunity for a parent of a mentally disabled son to push their child on to me. Parents who cared nothing about how disturbing and wrong it is to trap a girl into a situation with a boy she could not say no to.

That's why I call the mental disability community a cult. Cults manipulate others through psychological abuse, they emotionally destroy those who say no to them. People are seeing this behavior with Qanon. 

My hope is I no longer need to be hypervigilant now that the world has seen what the mental disability cult has brought forth. People who attack and scream at people who say they need to wear masks. Who crush people screaming in pain and do nothing. This was the world I was forced to live in, just because I couldn't handle sudden loud sounds. It may finally be over. Next time a psychiatrist says I'm Autistic, I'll pull up a video of the Qanon shaman and say I am not this. I have fears, I have trauma, because you put me with people just like him and called it help.