My bf/fp left me. And I hate him. I hate him for it so much I want to rip his world apart so he knows how it feels.
My thoughts have gone from sadness and grief to rage and revenge. I know the way to hurt him the most and also help me get over him is to never speak to him again. He wants to be friends. I hate him for doing the one thing he promised he wouldn't do. Fuck him. Fuck life. Fuck ever speaking to him again. 
I know I'm splitting. I know it's not healthy. But I do not give one single fuck right now. I also feel an unbearable urge to find a replacement fp as soon as possible and in a total panic that I'm ugly, usuless and socially backwards so no one will ever want me again. Did I even love him? Or was he just comfort that I'm already seeking elsewhere? Can bpds even love like a normal person? 