i had an increase in my dosage of klonopin, which resulted in me having a LOT of pills all at once. after trying to kill myself with them this past summer, my immediate thought whenever i open the bottle to take one is, “i could actually finish the job this time with all these,” or “why would they give all these pills to someone they know tried to overdose,” or “these will be good to have just in case.”

for context - i have absolutely NO inclination to kill myself whatsoever. i never even think about it anymore, as i’m living a really happy and fulfilling life. i attributed these immediate intrusive thoughts to my BPD brain. 

anyone else experience something similar?