I'm curious to hear why you think you should have anything that has to do with other people based on your actions. I hear this a lot from posts about BPD, people desperate to hold onto relationships, and they all sound selfish and self supporting and never make any mention of the devastating things that they, the poster, has done to support or destroy stability. I suppose it's a general question for everyone but I am curious, given my previous relationship, to hear how others are wired in terms of reward versus input in relationships. 

I'm not expecting anything honest and juicy because most people with uncontrolled BPD (and then do they HAVE BPD if it is controlled?) externally act self centered and uncaring and have a load of traits to do with NPD that sees them as constant victims, likely I will simply be attacked for asking questions, but you never know.

Yes, I already have a position because that's what my experience has been. Give me yours.