(HUGE TRIGGER WARNING! There is mentions of controversial themes. I just want to make clear that I am currently in treatment and receiving amazing love and support from many people around me! I use poetry as an expressive outlet. Poetry is an amazing art that i just freaking love lol. Please stay strong and know that you are absolutely wanted and loved. Stay alive ❤)

Everything without meaning

Makes me go more deep.

Im falling down a small hill

But breaking bones where it's steep.


It's like I'm falling in love 

To get my mind off some stupid shit.

Impulsively busting out

With some quick sex.


When I want someone to hold me

But I know that they don't know me.

I get lost inside an orgy

And feel my image incorrect

When I know my soul is so lonely .


It's a problem for caring too much.

Trust issues just happen a fuck.

I know I ain't worth it that much

But I just can't get enough.


The feelings of guilt

For touching myself.

The bottoms or tops

Self image overflows at this tilt.


Hating my habits,

And hating myself.

I don't see the point of finding a will.

I don't see a point to going on with 

thee guilt.


The weight of the world 

On my back,

Makes me feel small.

I don't see the point to living at all.