I cut myself again, is it normal that I don't really want to stop? I am just so fucking tired of everything and life is so so so so so hard. I can't get anything done because of the emptiness and pain I am experiencing. Nothing gets better, everyone regresses back to their sad version. Everyone leaves me because I am such a toxic negative person. I hope that I cut myself so so so much that I can never ever wear anything tight or short ever. My life is a cosmic joke. There is no point in anything and those moments of hope are pointless because you will never ever get better. Ever. Life is the dumbest bullshit and I'm not destined for happiness. I hope i die. I can't deal with things anymore. Honestly I don't want to die. I literally don't have the energy to kill myself cuz I'm so numb inside. Maybe I will. I just wish I never existed. I wish I had a clear cut answer to how to be happy but I don't know. Will I ever feel happy? I am miserable all the time. All the time. I have nothing to live for. Everyone will be better without me even if they don't know it. I wish all this shit would be worth it but it just isn't. I have to keep going on and I can't get anything done. I hoep I die. I don't even look sad but I'm so so so dead inside. I just want everything to disappear. What is hope. I don't even know what to hope for anymore. I just need everything to go away. Just go away. Vanish