Hi all, I have been trying to deal with my emotions w my SO a bit better. I catch myself getting so annoyed to the point where everything just seems to be going to shit and once it does everything is bad. Lately I’ve just been staying quiet and observing my emotions. I try so hard to look at the positive side and to calm myself down but every single time I can’t help but think “he wouldn’t do this to anyone else” or “anyone else above me” because it’s so easy for him just to dismiss me than to ask “why do you say that” or “why do you feel like that”. He says I’m defensive but it’s just me explaining why I’m annoyed so he can understand where I’m coming from. He has no empathy and it’s ruining our relationship because I always feel like I’m doing the most or if I’m the one who truly cares. I just treat people the way I’d like to be treated and it sucks bc no one treats me how I treat them. 

He puts perspective onto the situation by saying “well if I didn’t love you I wouldn’t put up with you and your emotions” but I don’t really think he actually does. Because things always have to go to the extreme just because he doesn’t want to handle or deal with the situation. I wish I could be comforted. 

It doesn’t help that I already absolutely hate my existence and my presence. He makes me feel even less important when he always put others in front of me or before our relationship. I already know I’m not important  He just makes me feel even less. But he’s the closest thing I have to family. I literally don’t have anyone else. At all 

No reassurance , no friends, no family. 

Literally like why tf am I here if I’m only miserable and make the ppl around me miserable. UGH 

Tips? Lmao