I don't want to die and I have plans for the future but I feel like a burden to everyone. Sometimes I feel nothing at all and then there are times where I want to die. I felt like this since I'm 10 and I don't want to die but it's a better option than living like this. I have loving family and friends, like I have everything a person could wish for but I just feel like not especially sad but more like life is draining and I'm a failure. I just feel like some people have it worse than me so i shouldn't be complaining yet I have this feeling and it doesn't go away.  I don't know what to do anymore because it becomes worse and I think about suicide pretty often like not especially suicide but more like walking in front of a car so that it looks like an accident, because it would break my parents heart if I killed myself without them knowing what I felt these past years.