So apparently theres a term for it, but yea, been having such thoughts lately thinking about how i want to end it all but not really act on it. Wishing on it sometimes getting away from all of it, knowing that my family and friends will be sad but will move on. My depression has been making it worse sometimes thinking how terrible this world is how stupid its ppl are how terrible they are when it comes to owning homes they rent out only to squeeze every penny out of them i just dont want to live in this world where human decency is depended on how much money you have just wanted to write this to vent and to admit something that i couldnt tell family even if i did they brush it off and tell me to seek help when help itself is $200 an hr on the couch