I’ve been in a depressive episode for about a month now. I’m doing the right things (talking to my counsellor, contacted my GP for a psych referral, taking my medications, etc.), but I can’t stop thinking of how much I wish I could just die. I do not honestly think that I am at risk for completing suicide, but the prevailing thought won’t leave. My psych appointment is for early April (that’s the “earliest” appointment I can get). I don’t think I can make it until then without some help. The intake person told me to visit the ER if I needed help before then but I’m scared to go to a hospital during COVID. I literally just got a new job (starts tomorrow) and I don’t want to get put in the psych ward (I’ve been before and it absolutely traumatized me). I haven’t felt like a normal functioning human in such a long time. I don’t know what to do, I just want to feel OK. The Canadian health care system is failing me. I am very blessed and my family is able to pay for private care but even that doesn’t guarantee faster help. What do I do?