Well just like the title sounds, I did a stupid tiktok trend to text my boyfriend from a random number. I was expecting him to text me or tell me about it but he instead went along with it and engaged in conversation with another girl who was clearly flirty and trying to get physical. 

I’m at a loss. Our relationship has had one issue like this in the past but he said he changed. After I confronted him he said he wants to go to individual therapy and couples therapy so we can both get better. I’m waiting to hear back from my insurance provider what doctors take my insurance and can treat my BPD. Unfortunately they haven’t found any yet that meet what I’m looking for and are not taking new patients. I’m trying my best to work on myself but I feel like I’m practically begging for help and there isn’t any. 

We’ve decided to try and work things out, our relationship has had almost no problems besides these 2 events. Everything outside of those events has been amazing. I’m just not sure how to trust him again. I’m constantly paranoid about him leaving or cheating. I understand those are symptoms of my disorder. Which I’m trying to get help for. How do I improve my paranoia symptoms if they are sometimes true? I’m not sure how to recover if my “intuition” is actually correct.

I don’t need advice on my relationship. It’s complicated and I’m in a tough spot. But has anyone been able to move past mistakes and have a loving relationship? Has treatment helped? I’m at my lowest point right now and I need help