Obviously it’s difficult af and it makes me gag even trying to do so but if this is the only way to make myself feel better about myself etc etc then I have no choice but to just *finally* accept myself as worthy as anyone else in this god forsaken world. I’m honestly tired of seeking for validation in other people when I know 99.9% of the time they’ll either disappoint me or they’re just not good for my mental health since I’m trying to learn &amp; grow as a person. I’ve been feeling better lately than I did a few months ago btw. I did make some new online friends but I’m not expecting them to give me so much validation. I’ve recently reconciled with a friend from HS and she told me she thought I hated her when she was trying to warm up to me in our Senior year. 

But with that aside, the negative part is that, I still have negative thoughts but I’m trying to push those feelings &amp; voices away. It works sometimes. But yeah that’s it lol