Not that I'm saying BPDs cant have SO's, but since romantic relationships/sex, etc, have not been a realistic option for me for several years, despite therapy/meds, i am a little perplexed. And you have SO's, just like that, hm! 

How do you even meet people you are sexually attracted to, or even have romantic feelings for? I rarely meet anyone im physically/sexually attracted too... maybe a couple times a year...and not only sexually attracted to, but actually emotionally attracted to? Just once or or twice. I'm almost 30, so its like... why not me? Why cant i love anyone too? and vice versa.
most guys just express sexual interest, and are adamant about never wanting to date me. meanwhile, im not even in the same world as they are.


Edit: alright well this is a seque into a closely related topic and then some...mostly concerning interpersonal skills.

not only is attraction and emotionally romantic availability difficult for me, but i tend to be too..intense...in my friendships...to the point where random people see us and subsequently assume we are dating. Doesnt matter if its my best guy buddy from college, my roommate, someone i met in the line at walgreens, or my own sister. Even if it is someone i have only known for just a few hours! Despite having no romantic interest, or little concept of what romantic emotions might feel like. 

its like i have great awesome rapport, but as soon as any emotional commitment is required, or when "shit gets real"/ involves conflict/emotional commitment, i am totally confused on how to go about accepting, expressing such emotional care or resolving issues. I relate to others best in an intellectual way, im great at forming authentic intellectual connections, sharing common interests, listening and supporting friends with problems. Then some people want to take that further into the emotional realm, and i have little to know concept of what that might entail relationship/friendshipwise.  I guess the way i show i care  is spending time with someone or helping them in need, giving them something they express interest in, comforting them or just listening to them. But what is an emotional connection, precisely? 

When i try to bring up my concerns in a relationship, they will be like, "hey, its not a big deal. I dont see why this is an issue." but its a little issue that is big to me, ya know? and when i try to explain, drama will ensue...because of just basic emotional misunderstandings and differing perceptions, aside from the fact i am still trying to employ my newly learned interpersonal skills.

And yet, in all sorts of relationships all the time, people dont communicate or mis-communicate. People will act out or be passive aggressive or cheat or whatever. If you are in BPD and learning better coping mechanisms, how do you deal with others who are deliberately manipulative, undermining or passive aggressive, or just blatantly instigating for a fight?

my god i am so frustrated with BPD sometimes. constant miscommunication is a battle, because i forget that not everyone can understand or feel what i feel, or nuances of situations. 

