I have severe anxiety, especially social anxiety, and im very insecure

I’ve always wanted to put an effort into myself for some reason im afraid too. I let myself go, I gain weight, I let my hair grow out, I don’t shave sometimes, I don’t care how I stress 99% of the time I just wear joggers, sweats with a t shirt

Im tired of that, I wanna do something. I wanna care about myself but im afraid too and I don’t know why, I don’t even know where to start

Other than that I have bad insecurities, I’ve been in many relationships and fucked them up because of insecurities so even with me not giving a shit about myself im still attractive enough to get into relationships but none of that makes me happy, I wanna be happy with myself. I just wanna like myself

I wanna be confident for once