This year has been terrible. I've lost most of my close friends. I've acted in ways that I'm ashamed of. I've drunk too much and acted on impulses I shouldn't. I feel more alone than I've ever felt in my life. I've felt suicidal at times. I feel a sense of hopelessness and aloneness more than any time in my life. I need to make next year a better year, because I think another one like this one would kill me. I need to find some way to like myself and be someone I can live with.