I spent so long chasing short term happiness, but a few months ago I made some necessary changes in my life. this resulted in more mental clarity and control over myself, which had been a foreign concept to me since FOREVER. having a mental illness caused me to feel like a burden at times, and that had me putting up with toxicity/mistreatment. it’s true that we accept the love we think we deserve, even if its subconscious. 

MY POINT: i highly encourage everyone to surround themselves with people who inspire them. they’re hard to find and im still looking. but tbh cutting people out of my life when they didn’t provide the energy that i needed has been one of the best decisions i’ve ever made. if you’re looking for a sign then this is it :( !! i promise that it is better for your mind to be alone than with energy vampires who dont align with your moral compass. 

[[[[[TW: suicide/suicidal thoughts]]]] BELOW‼️

a few months ago, i attempted. i spent everyday inside with nothing to really do. it got to a point where i asked myself if i would always feel this way, like the feeling was boring to me at that point. why do i always come back to this point? am i ever going to be better? 

🌟 coming back now, i can tell you that it is 100% possible for anyone and everyone to be better. sometimes the simplest solutions are right there and that doesn’t mean the journey to discovering them will be as easy but it is totally accessible. this post is kinda corny and useless, but idk. nothing compares to surviving an attempt to live a better life. it took me so so so so many years and i still have my episodes but i cant explain it... it’s like the way i deal with everything has changed as well. i wish that onto you guys. we all experience different stages of life at different times but we are all connected. 
you will get to a point where you have this grasp on your thoughts and emotions and it is going to be so beautiful for you. 
please never give up. 
i also suggest looking into spirituality or finding something your passionate about &lt;3 something that gives you faith.  it can help you appreciate your solitude rather than drowning in your loneliness. that stuff is so important. 

please live a life of love. 
long term happiness comes with so many other things but keeping your energy safe is totally one of them. goodnight kings and queens. keep doing what works for you and your future self &lt;3 sleep well