I have no motivation. I feel like somethings wrong with me
Everything is hard, or not worth it
I feel shame constantly
I feel like an awful person 
I fake everything 
I don’t feel enough
I always feel panicked 
I always feel paranoid 
I feel like I have brain damage
Everything is too much
I feel like I need to be parented 
I feel like I need constant support 
I feel like I feel too much yet too little
I feel like I’m nothing
I feel like I have no purpose
I feel like I have no friends 
I feel like I’m as worthless as it gets
I feel like something is wrong with me
I feel like I’m younger than I really am
I feel numb half the time and half the time I feel too much
I only feel right when I’m high or drunk
Everything feels 10x harder
If I was gone nothing would happen
If I was gone everyone would say I did it for no reason 
Like everything I felt was for nothing
I feel like something is wrong with my body
I feel like something is wrong with my soul
Like it’s all an excuse 
Like it’s all a cry for attention
Like I’m just lazy and simply depressed 
I have nothing
I am nothing
I am dependent 
I am not whole
I am not a person
I am everyone around me
I fill space that cannot be worsened
I have no brain I have no purpose
There is no point there are no goals
All words I speak are equal to nothing
There is no crowd that listens to my words
There’s no one that cares I’m the epitome of destruction 
I distract myself with meaningless tv shows
When I’m not depressed I am manic
When I am manic I am convinced I am better
But better cannot be real when I don’t exist
I don’t exist in life when no person knows me
I have no history of being here
I have no jobs, no use, no good memories
No excuses or useful thoughts
No brain or education 
I’m not necessary 
Just a useless body, I have no soul 
I’m a fake smile in a crowd of laughter 
I’m a friendless foe with no wanting of more
I thought I wouldn’t live past 18
Because 18 feels more than I’m worth
I’m sorry to the baby that should have taken my place 
I’m sorry for the child my parents should have had 
I’m sorry for partner for learning to love me
I’m sorry to my mom and I’m sorry to my dad
I’m sorry for my dog for learning to trust me
I’m not here to be here I’m here for everyone else
When you have no purpose you have no reasons
To exist in a life where everything feels bad
When I hate myself, it feels like a wall has lifted, I finally see myself for who I am. 
I am worthless, I am loveless, because that’s who I am. 
I don’t blame you, I don’t disagree with you, this is all an excuse. This is all in my brain, it’s all on me. But I don’t lie I just want to leave. 
No one understands, but that’s all a pity play. 
I’m a brat I’m a bitch. 
Everything I have has been given to me. 
I really do belong in a ditch. 
I’m sorry if I leave but I promise it’s not you. 
It’s the brain I was born with, I promise that’s true. 
I’ve felt like this for as long as I can remember.
I can’t remember anything, I can’t remember what I need to 
Everything else has been faked or not true.
The only reason I’m alive is because of dissociation. 
I feel everything, I feel nothing. 
But suicidal is all an excuse. 
That’s ok, it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters, you’d forget me soon. 
That’s okay too, you’ll do great. The world won’t change if I don’t change too. 
And I can’t change if this brain is permanent. 
This brain is cemented in valueless 
And useless cannot describe the worthlessness that this unmotivated, unloved, unfulfilled sack of meat is.
That’s not an argument, it’s proven to be true.