I know I can’t be the only one here who struggles with feelings of jealousy, but after 5 years of marriage with no major cause for concern, you’d think I would be able to chill a little bit. Nope! I am very possessive of my husband and experience extreme jealousy at thought that he would ever have even an inkling of a positive thought about another woman. I want to punish or completely shut him out because of retroactive jealousy or my perception that he could be showing another woman attention. I feel incredibly stupid for believing he could be loyal - even though he is. Any time I’m reminded of his past — literally even a decade before he knew me — I become enraged as if it’s in the present. The splitting is intense and frequent until of course I throw a fit or get a lot of attention or get drunk/distracted. Then I’m fine until I get triggered again, but every single time I even make up a situation in my own head, it fires me up just as bad as if i were being cheated on right now. 

How do I cope with this? For the record I was pretty much traumatized by my own parents’ infidelity and constant lies my entire adolescence, and I was cheated on pretty horrifically in the past. I have no basis for trust nor do I know how to manage my feelings; the recommendation from non-bpd friends that I should just live in the moment and not worry is obviously not really even enough to scratch the surface of my internal frustration.  Any advice from fellow borderlines would be welcome &lt;3