for the past 7 months i started getting psychotic almost all times, i have unshakable beliefs that im always watched, i don't remember for the past 7 months any time i used the bathroom or showered without panicking and ly heart beating as fast as it can

i also can't stop my mind from believing that my thoughts are heard 24/7 , i cant think freely and im always anxious

once i heard a really loud voice but it was lnot coming from the outside but the inside, it was one word but it scared me to my very soul

i can't work anymore, i withdrew from society, i deleted all ly social medias and made anonymous ones to feel less watched but nothing helped, i live the house just once a week to get food

im 19 years old i still can't afford to visit a doctor
but i wanna know what I may have and im really desperate