Hello,

I would like to know if anyone ever achieved a healthy dating life after being miserable at it so I can have a sliver of hope.

I am a male in my late twenties, and to keep it simple, dating for me equals to constant anxiety attacks, and it just getting worse.

Previously when I dated a girl, I would sometimes loose focus or would be unable to continue a conversation.

Now, it is even worse as I am unable to be human, for example the last time I was dating a girl for a few weeks I:

* was unable to sleep normally
* had constant heart palpitations throughout the day
* had diarrhea all day
* had brain fog
* had small panic attacks (not the "I am gonna die", but "how do I stop existing I hate whatever I am feeling right now, maybe if I watch a youtube video this feeling gonna go away" type)


Of course I have all the check boxes you could have, I have zero self-confidence, I truly hate myself, and I am feeling absolutely hopeless, even so far that I don't think I am curable. I was somewhat suicidal in the past but I managed to change that with 5 years of therapy. However, this whole dating thing feels immutable. It is even more infuriating, as in normal relationships (friendships for example) are completely normal for me.

The worst thing is the last girl I dated knew about my mental deficiency, and was fully supporting me, but I just couldn't get over it, and we stopped dating. I feel absolutely broken and unfixable.

Let me know if you have some positive stories, suggestions, because I am feeling extremely down nowadays. I am planning to go back to therapy, but of course my anxiety is holding me back on that too.

(side note, this was posted on another subreddit, but for that subreddit the auto mod went hayware, and banned 80% of the comments, except a single persons who called me an asshole lol)

Kind regards,

Llama