I am hating being alone. I hate having no siblings, not even a single cousin. 3 friends. One's out of country, two of them have better social life. I hate staying at home stressing on will I get job, which I can't even do about it anything, bc it's my dad's reference which is getting me a job... I hate saying stupidest things and cracking uncool jokes in my friends group chat.. I hate expecting those two friends who live nearby to meet, bc they are happy in their own friends circle and partners. I hate thinking about me being socially awkward whenever I meet those two friends, I hate being single, bc apparently my social skills are shit and can't even open my fucking mouth when I'm with someone... I hate thinking that never ever in my entire life I've ever enjoyed bc of strict parents and never ever I'll enjoy my life bc of my fucked up social skills which is result of me being alone the whole fucking entire life.. I hate that even if I want to kill myself I can't bc I'm an only child and there'll be no one to look after my parents if I die.. But who tf was there for me, who tf is there for me?? Who tf will be there for me?? Ik... It's fucking no one..