I can't seem to find motivation to do anything to change. I have things that need to be done, but I just never seem to find any "push" towards them and yet I am actually terrified of things never changing and remaining the same, a thought that keeps reappearing in my head and it saddens me.

I have managed to burn some more bridges and I'm left with the remaining (very) few people in my life that I am not even that close to.

I've been thinking about therapy, but again... no motivation to make a change so this is still just a thought, but even if I manage to make the first step towards it some day, idk what would change. I'm aware that I need to handle things differently and how to, but I just don't and I don't even know why so I don't think venting and hearing someone's opinion on it would make me change.