Nobody can handle just how fucked up and depressing I am. just failed my fp  we had gotten back together but anxiety took over and I couldn’t preform in bed, even though she’s the hottest woman I’ve ever seen. It was the first timers a while too and now she thinks I’m not into her. She’s said she will find someone else to do it for her; I triggered her insecurities and ruined her day and good mood. I tried to explain why I couldn’t get in the mood but it seems with everything I said made it worse. Why did I ever get my hopes up that I wouldj be enough? All I’m good for is sex and validation I’m pretty but so what? Nobody wants anything to do with my mind or feelings or soul. Nobody gets the sick traumatized puppy they want a healthy boy. And the people who do usually just wanna hurt me more because I’m easy tomanipulate. I gave it my all, but. Cant live trying to earn love when I’m truly unlovable.  It’s back on dope for me and I’m actuallyhappy nobody will are much. I give up onto the next phase.