I've spent the past 5 years depressed with a year long gap after the first one. I'm in middle school, taking high school classes. I'm interested in the classes, at least when I'm not trying to mentally punch myself awake from the zone of "don't give a shit even though I do." I've spent a bit under a third of my life, not counting the gap year, with the impression that I was just lazy, or apathetic, until a few months ago when i figured it out. Then I started seeing stuff (not psychotic/it's an idiom/don't worry). First, my parents are great people, but so clueless it hurts. Also, my friends kick ass. Dunno where I'd be if not for them. Then I realized that that feeling I called euphoria was actually happiness, and what i called happiness was just "not sad." 

It's murder, and yet I always talk myself out of suicide, which is both a relief and very irritating since my main reasoning is "four friends, two cats, and a dozen shows and books I stay up past one every night watching and reading because they help me focus in the day. Also, the view from the roof is great and I don't want to interrupt it by falling off" So when I research medication, I'm interested, but unsure too. I see stories about useless, addictive substances, and stories about people whose lives have turned around thanks to Big Pharma. 

I'm asking this for a few reasons. If I talk to my parents about my condition. I'd guarantee we'll end up in a gridlock over either the meds or my insomnia that only works sometimes, leaving me up with 2 hours of sleep somedays and down with 12 some others. (they've made it clear that if I encounter problems and they don't like my solutions, they're using the symbolic but useless veto power),  Your advice would be appreciated, since it'd be great to stop lying to my parents, even though I'm not sure if the risks of becoming a happy vegetable are worth it. 

The other reason I ask about meds is, to be clear, because they're a last resort, and I am near the end of the line. I'm doing everything the world has told me to do to the dot. I'm healthy, I study, I help others. Then the world tells me I shouldn't be depressed because I'm doing them. Nothing works. Happiness is a dim version of itself. It feels like the one time I almost drowned underneath a disturbingly large (and I'm talking 6ft by 8ft) crocodile pool float because the water was too acidic to open my eyes in so every time I came up for air in a random direction I hit an immovable wall. I'm worried the depression'll fuck up my life irrevocably, but I have the same concerns about meds. Any stories, yelp reviews, or thoughts, et cetera? Also, don't let the fact that I'm specifically soliciting info about meds stop you from posting on any other solutions, though. 

BIG ASS WARNING : IM NOT ASKING FOR CLINICAL ADVICE ON WHAT MEDICATION TO TAKE, IM ASKING WHAT YOUR EXPERIENCES WITH MEDS OR *ANY* OTHER SOLUTIONS YOU HAVE FOUND ARE.