 cw for mention of suicide and self harm.

I’m 24 F and I’m unhappy in my marriage and I told my man the other day. Am I being overdramatic about problems that are relatively minor? I don’t feel loved bc he doesn’t acknowledge my love languages. But I’m screwed up and have panic attacks when I try to get intimate sometimes so it’s hard for me to speak his love language to him. He gets upset with me and the sex appeal DIES and I don’t feel attracted to him.

I WANT to fight with him and I WANT to end it. But then other times I don’t and I realize I’d never be happy again if we did split bc I wouldn’t want to see him with someone else.

Am I making shit up? Throwing a wrench in my marriage and causing problems by mentioning an issue and upsetting my man is totally self harm. I want to hurt myself. I want a divorce bc I think I actually want pain and i need change. But then I split on him and sob my eyes out bc I don’t want him to go and I don’t want to hurt him. And we have a 1.5 year old baby. I just don’t know what to do. Do we need marriage counseling or do I need help??? I would rather kill myself than get divorced at this point. I have mom friends who are divorced and their lives are so damn hard.