I never got that as a child, I want that now before I get to an age where it would be "weird" for me to ask for it. why everyone need to be harsh and rude with an excuse of "holding you accountable" 

I don't feel like I could open to anyone about my feelings, what I go through and my suicidal thoughts anymore. my family doesn't understand/ignore it, my fp doesn't understand/ignore it and my friend think that suicidal people are cowards so I'm stuck keeping to myself, it makes me feel completely alone because no one understand this disorder, they think I can control myself, they think I can control my triggers, they think I can control my traumas. I fucking can't control it and it's not fair to assume that I can, I'm under 20 and everyone want me to be held on high standards, that's not fair when those some people will mess up regularly and expect someone to support them. 

but when I ask for that, apparently it's a bad thing and I should be stronger all because of bpd, and I'm mostly sick of therapists being so scared of anyone who have bpd, or telling me I'm abusive, manipulative or lack empathy and how I should be patient with people in my life for them to be understand, what about people being patient with me? this disorder makes me feel alone.