I’m in individual therapy, and couples therapy with my boyfriend of 4 years. 

Something I’ve realized with my BPD is that when I’m activated, and splitting and/or devaluing, I see the other persons perspective as biased to them and it’s very difficult for me to see it otherwise. It becomes tainted and while I *get it*, I also don’t, and even when trying to give it value, there is still a layer of distrust and skepticism that I can’t shake. Like I know they’re capable of manipulating me if they tried so maybe that’s what’s going on here y’know. 

But in couples therapy, our therapist actually sided with him on quite a few points. Having a professional lay it out and also give me that same perspective changed everything. It broke my tainted viewpoint that his side could be littered in his own personal bias. It’s like it removed that layer of distrust and I actually heard him without the filter. Fucking mind blowing the power of having a third party involved. 

I just wanted to share the huge breakthrough my brain went through in our last session. It’s something I don’t know if I would’ve reached otherwise outside of couple specific therapy with him right there being able to tell his side himself.