I start University in a month and I'm so fucking afraid right now, I don't even know why I'm afraid. It's just that my eyes are hurting and my hands are shaking a little. 
I can't figure out what's triggering me but I'll write it all down so I can try to figure it out 
1) I told my extended family member that I want to be an actor, their reaction wasn't negative but I think it's possibly triggered me cause I've had a lot of people laugh at me when I told them I wanted to be an actor. I just for some reason can't stop thinking of it. 
2) my university has a transitional course to start university and I signed up for it last month. At that time I thought it would be a great idea to volunteer to be the group leader but I'm regretting it so much. It's a group of 7 people and fucking hell I'm  so scared that no one will show up for the zoom session. What am I supposed to do then? It scares me so much. I'm afraid that I'll be sitting before my laptop in complete anxiety waiting for someone to show up and I'm even more scared that only one person will show up cause I could probably deal with being stood up but I don't think I could ever deal with someone knowing that I've been stood up. 
3) I'm so scared that I won't survive university, I've had horrible experiences and met horrible people and I'm afraid that everyone will hate me when they meet me.
I'm so afraid of being afraid and now my shoulders are hurting and I'm crying. At the same time I'm thinking that maybe I'm just acting emotional cause I'm about to get my periods. I'm trying so hard to convince myself to not panic but it's not working.