It's impossible to go into all the details of this situation so I won't even try. I guess the person who I would call my ex-SO in this case...she is diagnosed with and taking meds for Bipolar Type 2, but all of her symptoms point to BPD, so it's questionable how much they're helping. We've had an off and on relationship for years, but there would always be attempts to make it work, due to the fact that we had a kid. We live in a house of 13 people total, with her parents. It's a completely toxic environment, but the goal is to battle debt and save up for  a place (NJ rent is fucking expensive). Any time I would leave the house, I was accused of not being there for my son. Any time I would make effort to be there for the kid, I would be sucked right back into a relationship with her. Any time she gave me a reason to leave, it would only make me that much more motivated to make sure she was getting the proper treatment for her mental illness. A cycle.

So recently, we were in a relationship of a sort with no labels. Sharing meals, the same bed, sex, dates, holding hands, family days, "don't look/talk to that girl", etc. The biggest problem was that she started to rely on smoking to get through the day. Particularly with a friend of hers. This friend would call her all hours of the day to hang out, and any time I approached her with it, she would claim she can't get him to back off. That he's manipulative, that he doesn't get it.

I decided I would take matters into my own hands. I told her that if he comes by, there would be a confrontation. The friend came by anyway, ready for confrontation. I asked him why he felt it was respectful to call my SO, a mother in a relationship with someone,  7 times a day. In moment, my ex-SO complete switched sides. She proceeded to down play our relationship, and say things that completely conflicted with prior discussion. Now I'm the jealous ex who won't take the hint. Her brother, who is a complete piece of shit who stole from my 4 year old child on multiple occasions, who I defended her from on numerous occasions, joins the situation and starts to antagonize me. I couldn't believe she stood there and let it happen. The situation actually got to the point that the person I was there to confront told them BOTH to walk away so we could discuss the situation clearly and honestly. 

So now me and this friend are essentially exchanging situations, where it's very clear that neither him nor I was receiving the truth. To him, I'm a monster that she wants out of her life, but can't because she "has a kid with me". To me, he's a monster that she wants out of her life, but can't because she "has no other friends". Both of us get skewed stories about the other that makes her look like the victim. One if the biggest reasons I found this person problematic is because I couldn't understand how this person who knew she shouldn't be mixing drugs and alcohol with her medication was so eager for her to join him in smoking and drinking. He reveals that she never told him she shouldn't be smoking or drinking on the medication. It threw every conversation I had with her into question.

The whole thing shell-shocked me. I felt utterly betrayed. This person who I put above all others devalued our entire relationship because it fit her narrative. I felt that she picked her friend over our relationship... whatever our relationship was. I felt like she allied with her brother over me just because it was convenient for her at the time. Everything we shared suddenly meant nothing. All the time, energy, and love I put in over the years is just... nothing.

After talking to this friend of hers one on one for 6 hours and learning about all the ways we were being pitted against each other for... whatever reason, I packed all my things into my car and left. I don't have any other place to stay, and my finances are limited. I haven't gone to the house or seen my son in 2 days. I don't know HOW to see my son. He's 4, so he couldn't possibly understand. But I'm suppose to walk into this house I'm told I'm not wanted in and pretend everything is great? I don't know if my mental state can even handle any of this right now. Everyone is telling me to lawyer up, and forcibly remove the child from her and the environment if I have to, but I feel more like throwing myself into a psychiatric institute