I haven't had a depressive episode in a while. (I don't remember which term people use in English. I was released I guess (?)) But another semester in college, not learning properly due to lockdown and my collage having a bad management at the moment is taking a toll on me.
And I never felt so alone in a long time, that with February coming, and seeing people I know making plans and being lovely with their parents makes me feel worse. It's not that I'm not want to see people happy, is that I want to feel someone else.
My previous relationships fuck me over and all my confidence that I don't feel safe trying to persue something with anyone, but at the same time I want to be loved.

Maybe it's that everything came at the same time and overwhelmed me. I just wanted to tell how I'm feeling