Interacting is really difficult for me, my best friend has a new friend and has completely abandoned me for her and doesn't want to talk to me and doesn't like my jokes anymore or care about me, and i feel like i shouldn't be feeling jealous and abandoned because of how it will make me look to others regarding my masculinity, men dont get jealous or hurt or abandoned, at least as I was told and raised to believe. my family use me as a scapegoat for all of their issues, they tell me to fix myself and get better but when I tell them that their behaviour is what triggers me then I get called manipulative and they say horrible things about me and day everything is my fault. I can't ask them for help or tell them the truth about them making me want to harm myself and kill myself. Family is meant to make you feel supported and safe and I don't have that so theres no point sticking around just to get blamed more. If I'm the problem then the best way to fix it is to get rid of the problem and get rid of me.