I have a form of cerebral palsy called “Right-sided Hemiplegia”, a side effect of hemiplegia is “quick emotional change” , upon finding this sub I realised that it’s basically BPD, every post I find myself relating to too much. 

So yeah maybe I will kill myself and I seem a bit more certain about it than I have been previous times I’ve planned it but there’s also the possibility I’ll just not or change my mind. But regardless the thought of it creeps up more and more