Came across this post

[yelling at your kids will not toughen them up](https://www.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/comments/mkiycs/yelling_at_your_kid_doesnt_toughen_then_up_it/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf)

I liked it a lot because most people think it’s good to just yell at a little kid at the drop of a hat. Now I know a lot of people understand how harmful frequent yelling can be for children.

However I noticed most if not all of the comments said that yelling teaches the child that calm conversations won’t solve problems—that yelling back at your parents is the way to be heard. I couldn’t relate. I became afraid, reclusive, obedient to a fault. I didn’t indulge in teenage rebellion or speak my mind. Everything I did was out of fear.

I wish I would’ve “acted out” just a little bit. Instead my lifelong depression was exacerbated as well as my abysmal self esteem. I harmed myself in the bathrooms at school and as of yet I haven’t shaken the habit. The people from school who weren’t afraid or entirely obedient towards authority figures are doing well now, dating, graduating, growing. And here I am. Stagnant. Chickenshit.

To this day I never yell (unless I’m joking around with friends/I’m not being serious.) In fact I don’t engage in arguments at all. I always comply. When people my age talk about arguing with their parents, having fun with their parents, asking them for advice or feeling safe with them I get so damn jealous. They’re capable of interacting like a normal human being.

I’m a coward and I haven’t been able to develop healthy relationships with the people in my life. Plenty of people had it as bad as I did (actually worse for the most part since I really didn’t have it that bad) but they were brave. I have no excuse for being this way. Given the current state of my life I can’t forgive myself.