So for starters, I’m a 23 year old female who has experienced severe anxiety my whole life and depression for about 10 years. I suspect I have other things going on mentally but that’s neither here no there as I’ve obviously never had any sort of diagnosis. 

A little over a year ago, I lost it and told my mom for the first time ever that I have been depressed since I was 13 and I was on the brink of killing myself and needed to go to the hospital. She screamed at me saying I’m just being a spoiled brat and that she wouldn’t take me to the hospital because it costs too much money. My dad heard the conversation too and he told me to just stop. For this reason, I am scared that if I were to take my issues to a therapist, they also wouldn’t believe me. Or, they would ask family members about me and since they already don’t believe in mental illness, they’d just lie and say I’m perfectly fine. I don’t have any friends to help me. And that’s not even a lie. I see people saying they don’t have friends and then those same people turn around and hang out with their friends all the time. I don’t have any friends at all. I don’t have anyone else that knows me. There’s no one that can vouch for the things I have been experiencing. I have an older sister but she’s busy with other things. Mentally, things are only getting worse. I am becoming painfully paranoid and delusional. I don’t even know how to go about getting a therapist. I don’t have insurance or a doctor. I still live with my parents and don’t drive and those are the two people who don’t believe me. I feel alone and completely helpless. I just don’t know what to do.