Hi, I have EUPD and I’ve always found it hard to maintain a steady long term relationship. I had one almost 2 year relationship but we were close to breaking up the covid happened so we couldn’t see eachother and we kinda just stayed together but barely spoke for like a year of the relationship. Most my relationships are fast, intense, and painful which is typical for someone w BPD. I’m just so sick of being told “you’re just too hard to take care of” or “you need to be with someone who can look after you” and it’s so hard. 

I have recently been talking to this guy and he seems perfect for me. We are both work in mental health, we both love animals, anime, and other stuff but I really want to take things slow but I know after one date I’m going to fuck everything up with impulsiveness and this need to prove myself by giving my all straight away. I keep saying to myself that there’s nothing to prove, I’m not in a competition, slow down and get to know him first, but I know when the time comes I’ll be saying I love him in a week and I’m terrified. 

Does anyone have any tips on how to control impulsivity and keep a long term healthy relationship without being too needy or coming on too strong?