I am feeling worried for myself. It almost 2 a.m and I can’t sleep. Im not sure if its just because I can’t sleep or if its my inner fight between staying alive or ending it. These thoughts never go away. It sucks when people don’t understand my sudden mood changes or decisions, but I understand why they don’t. Im just saying what I am feeling or thinking. My heart always feels so heavy as if I put weights on it. I feel like crying all the time. Everything in life is so boring or doesn’t feel right. I often get confused on what is real and what isn’t real. I don’t have a therapist anymore because Money is tight, so Im using this Reddit post as a venting place because no one knows me here and it’s nice.