Let me start out by saying I hate life. I think everything is stupid and there’s no point to any of this so why are we all trying so hard. That being said - I want out. I’ve spent the last year going through numerous medications and therapy only to wind up in the exact same place I was this time last year.

I want to kill myself, I tried last year but apparently Zoloft won’t kill you. I have no means to kill myself though. My husband locks away his guns and I’m too afraid to try and fail at overdosing again. I just don’t know what to do.

Im considering admitting myself back to the hospital but then I’d have to take days off work and then they’d need to know why I need those days off and I just don’t want to tell them that I’m as bad as I am.

I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I don’t want to feel anything at all. All I want is to be numb.