And I feel like such a stupid, worthless piece of shit and like I don't deserve to be there.  I don't pay for it, my boyfriend does, and we don't have insurance so it's expensive.  Really expensive.  And I feel like I don't deserve it.  I feel like I'm wasting his money and my therapists time.  There's a voice in my head that tells me every day that I'm a worthless burden and I should kill myself and every single day I get closer to listening to it.

I don't deserve love, I don't deserve to be cared for.  I don't deserve anything but a slow, painful death.  I'm worthless and all I do is make people's lives more difficult.