I don't really know how to write these, so I will just start. If it's not okay I assume it will just get deleted.

I've been struggling with depression for ages. Right now I've been on a steady diet of antidepressants and sleep helpers for over three years, although I probably should've started with that ages ago. They're good. I lack anti-anxiety stuff but I'm dealing. I'm 29 and in a pretty steady - but rather new - job, happy relationship and no new family drama. I dropped out of phd program over six months ago and it seems I'm all the happier for it.

Everything. Is. Fine. Except it isn't. I keep picking at things waiting for them to unravel. I'm getting soooo angry again. So so very angry at myself for absolutely nothing. Boss is apparently impressed with my work results (for a new employee), my partner loves me dearly, and I cannot fucking stand it. I feel like shit for picking apart a life that should be fine. What the fuck is wrong with me. What do I do.