tw// mentions of sh , suicide

i’ve struggled with talking about how i feel with people in general, but especially with my family. i think that’s bcuz in the past my mom has been invalidating towards that stuff/straight up gets angry when i show any negative emotions.

lately i’ve been trying to be more honest bcuz i’ve had a lot of issues with sh and suicidal thoughts/attempts, so she wanted me to talk to her when i don’t feel okay. i thought it was going well, until today.

she told me, in front of other family, that i make her feel like she can’t worry about her own feelings bcuz when she says something upsetting and i “freak out,” she has to focus all of her attention on me and not think about herself. i never asked her to do that, and i never meant to make her feel that way. i feel so bad. i don’t want to tell her anything anymore so she’s able to focus on her.

i realize that the title makes it look like i’m upset with her, but i don’t think i am. if anything, this just makes me realize that i shouldn’t bother people with how i feel, bcuz i don’t want to make them feel unimportant. 

sorry for the vent, i just. idk.