So I'm currently home because my mother got covid (she is ok) and on the 11th I will go back and I'm am very nervous. I have to catch up with some of the test because I was sick one week before holidays. Then I have to give a presentation in front of the class which only 3 people out of 26 like me who are my friends, most the rest hates me for no reason, I was never mean to anybody and ignored mostly every insult, which doesn't make it better. I also have a big group presentation ahead of me and I'm scared as fuck because I think I can't make it in time and my group partners too (who are my friends). Then I am also scared because of my grades which aren't to bad but not as good as I need them to be. I went to a therapist like 2-3 years ago which help because I had extreme anxiety and thought I am better know, but I don't know if that's the case. It got so bad that I am constantly thinking that dying would be peacful and a way better option than I'm in right know. Which is bad considering that I always was afraid of death and know I wish I wpuld get a deadly disease or something so I could die in peace. I don't have the intention to kill myself, also because I'm probably to afraid to do it I don't know. I also never cut my wrist or hurt myself otherwise. I am just really desperate right know. 

Btw. I didn't want to do my presentation last year and got an F