I won't have a good life because I haven't had a good life.  I have felt so bad for so long, it is clear things won't improve. I see others living much better and doing things I could only dream of doing. It has become clear that I'm not good enough and I am not allowed to participate. It's always been like this.  I've always been behind,  I've always been left out,  I've never been good enough.

The best thing I could do is end my worthless existence