I facing a diagnosis, and it makes sense looking back at my life, all the failed friendships and burnt bridges, and never actually getting close enough to anyone to actually date them. I feel conflicted, I keep going back and forth because one half is relieved to know what's wrong with me instead of just constantly asking myself what the hell my problem is, and the other half is hopeless because it makes me feel like I'll never be able to find love, which is all I've ever longed for in life (which I also thought was weird) because it always happens the same way, I just drive everybody away. I feel so terrible in so many ways, like, am I really posting this for support or attention. I'm just learning of this disorder, I never paid much mind to the personality disorders in my psych classes, and I feel lost. 