My sibling and my parents were going through old family photos for fun and i decided to join in .

It was a mistake .
They kept on commenting on a picture from back when i was 12-13 year old .

"Look at you //my name// ! You were so pretty back then ! Look at you now ! Ugh- YOU SHOULD STRIVE TO LOOK LIKE THIS"

I was in 6th-7th grade .
I was about 100 pounds or so .
I struggle with my looks and relationships . 
Existence is hard infact .
I am about 170 pounds now .

They know i have disordered eating patterns .
They know i self harm from time to time .
They know i had a minor addiction to alcohol in 10th and 11th grade .
They know i have been trying to lose weight .
They know i starve myself from time to time .
They know i have fainted a few times along the way too .
They know i binge .

They wanted me to open up to them and i did and yet.....

" You were attractive when you were 12 " 
Says my older fucking brother .
The one who once threatened to have his way with me when he was drunk.
The one who i used to look up to .

They say they don't remember hurting me in anyway .

Mum says
 "i feel sorry that you felt that way but we were joking" , whenever i try to talk about why she made me diet since 6th grade .

Dad says he never did shit to me even tho he continuously comments on the way I look
" You lost weight ? You look so good " 
" I think you gained a few pounds , your nose looks fat "
" Your arms are so bad "
" Don't eat carbs " 
" I will lock the kitchen since you always eat at night "