It's been 2 years since I've taken it but I'm scared of being prescribed lamtrogine/lamictal again because of how awful I felt. 

I'm not trying to self diagnose but there aren't many good doctors in my country and they simply jump to the most common disorders. 

I've visted 3 doctors and each diagnosed and prescribed different things and I haven't gone since 2 years ago and I'm ready to go again because I've been in limbo.

Anyway, I'm wondering if anyone could guess which disorder is most likely correct from my symptoms and experience from past meds.

I'm feeling completely unsatisfied with my life but with no intention of doing anything that might harm me but I'm just stuck not doing anything. Just feeling apathy or depression and rarely do I get sudden bursts or energy but I mostly use them for cleaning the house. Usually I'm hyperfixating on really useless things, like binging tv shows I don't even enjoy. So does this sound like borderline personality disorder? I just never felt that to be true for me. 

1st doctor prescription/ diagnosis BPD: I tried lamictal which made me rapid cyle and cry for hours and I hated my life the 3 months I took it for and ended up breaking up with my long term boyfriend on it. 

2nd doctor prescription/ diagnosis depression: I took lexapro and risperidone during my exams and I was most stable on that combo and before that I took abilify too but something felt off taking 2 antipsychotics and I don't remmeber why I hated abilify more.

3rd doctor prescription/ didn't even tell me a diagnosis: Zoloft which was horrible, peak apathy and indifference. Truly felt like a zombie, the opposite of lamictal. 

So any guesses on what could be good for me and what might I have in case the new doctor I go turns out to be a disappointment who dismisses my feelings?