First of all, hi, i'm Raymond, he/him/they/them trans dude

I've been going to therapy for about 9 months now and im making some good progress with actually opening up to my therapist and stuff which was hard for me since my parents discouraged that a lot. I've been diagnosed with social anxiety and depression and my therapist acknowledges that I have gender dysphoria but i know there's something else. I don't know what it is but I'm showing a lot more symptoms than anything that could be tied back to social anxiety and depression. 

I have severe dissociative episodes and dissociate almost daily. On a couple of my most intense dissociative episodes i became convinced that nothing was real and almost jumped out my window because i was convinced that nothing would happen, i've gone completely nonverbal, and twice i've had episodes where i've become an entirely different person and one of them even got me into an argument with my parents that i only know happened because they came up to me afterwards telling me i needed to apologize. Since I was a child i've had physical and visual hallucinations of spiders crawling all over me and crawling into my ears and more recently i've had a couple auditory hallucinations of people screaming at me and regularly i'll hallucinate knocking. I have severe sensory issues that have developed to the point where if someone touches me, my brain will replay that feeling over and over like it's punishing me. I also have severe paranoia where sometimes ill become convinced that somebody i know has or is about to die and i need to go check on them right now and sometimes ill severely question if what im seeing is real. I also have quite a bit of trauma that i haven't even brought up with her but i know has caused me some issues.

I know that I should bring it up with her and, at this point i *need* to because I can't just keep living like this with no one acknowledging there's anything wrong. I just don't know how to bring it up and, if you've read this far, first of all, thank you, but also, even if you don't have any specific advice, encouragement would be nice because i just don't have the courage to tell her because im convinced she'll think im crazy or tell me that i made it all up and that i couldn't possibly be experiencing this. I would love to just admit myself to a psych ward (which, dont worry, where i live, psych wards are a lot nicer than in most places and how most people pre-conceive psych wards to be) but the first time i brought that up with my parents uh, let's just say it didn't go so well and now i have more trauma. anyways, thanks for reading and i hope you have a lovely day &lt;3