Lifeguard for 2 years, no saves, don’t really care about it, but after seeing one of my coworkers save a kid after they were drowning, I have been freaking out all day “what did the kid do? How did he recognize it?” I am just an unreliable idiot I swear to god. Every time I see a kid look like they’re struggling, I freeze up, get heart palpitations, and will probably get a child killed because I wasn’t good enough. Ik we have to train and shit but real life isn’t textbook, there’s a lot of subtle and obvious signs. 

I’m not good enough to have this job or any job for that matter.