I’m not trying to be in love with the girl. I’m not even trying to get her to love me. I just want to have sex with her again. I know that’s selfish. I know it’s manipulative but I can’t help it. We don’t have to get feelings involved. I mean I like the girl, she’s cool and all but I just don’t want to feel empty when she leaves. When she’s in bed with me I don’t feel that emptiness. Even if it’s for 5 minutes. I’ll do anything to get it. 

But she doesn’t want to give it up. I feel like the biggest jerk in the world but I don’t want just her friendship. I want her to want me. 