I started smoking again after successfully quitting over a decade ago, and kept it up for a few months before finally fully quitting again. Unfortunately the smoking felt like it helped tremendously with my anxiety disorder :/ so my anxiety went up significantly after quitting. And apparently a side effect of quitting is an increase in appetite, which I didn’t realize, and within about 2-3 months I rapidly gained roughly 10-15 pounds.. 

I feel so intensely self conscious now and so unbelievably anxious about my body ontop of the normal amount of anxiety I already deal with. Ugh. I don’t know what to do. I feel hopeless. I’m trying so hard to curb my appetite but it’s frickin ravenous all the time still. 

This is so stupid. I hate being so self conscious and anxious all the time. None of my clothes fit me anymore. I can’t leave my house because literally I have nothing I can wear besides a couple pairs of sweatpants and a couple large tshirts and it’s HOT outside so sweatpants are not going to cut it. Ugh. Just fuck all of this.