I'm not feeling like myself right now. I just rejected a person who wants to date me. I don't understand why he likes me thought. I don't really like him either. I still talk to him but he doesn't answer my text as much as he tried to date me. I have no one right now. As most of my friends live abroad. I just hate what I'm doing right now and where I am at. I would create a world where I am in control of myself and know myself, where people need me and there are people who accept me but it's not really me that I imagine. It's deffinitely someone else that I want to become. I don't understand why I'm like this. I am not going to kill myself but I just want to dissapear.