So I’ve been suffering from anxiety and MDD (major depressive disorder) for many years now. In fact, I’ve been extremely anxious and paranoid throughout my entire childhood and so on. I’ve reached this point of no return where I simply can’t care enough for anything, all I know is I’m terminally uncomfortable everywhere and with everything. I honestly have no social skills whatsoever, and I can even fake them anymore. It’s painful for me to smile, so I always remain deadpanned. My voice is devoid of all emotion, and my movements are robotic and have been pointed out as ‘weird’ time and time again. I’m no longer a person, or even a living thing, I’m just here, and even that I’m not so sure about that. I can barely leave the house because of my anxiety and paranoia, never mind the fact that my OCD makes it utterly impossible to function in daily life. I’m a dead man walking, I know that much. Biologically, it’s only been 14-almost-15 years since I was brought into this world. Otherwise, I feel like I’m 2000 and have lost everything and don’t care enough or have any desire whatsoever to change that, simply because it’s pointless. I don’t even understand any sort of human emotion anymore. It’s stupid and foolish. Sam with religion, though I try so hard to respect it because it’s of course anyone’s right to believe what they may. Regardless, I find it infuriating that anyone would be so pointless as to create a fabricated ‘person’ to blame everything on simply because they’re too dumb to figure it out themselves, and then have to audacity to call it gifts or tests. I don’t even know the point of this post, I don’t really have a question, or want and answer. I don’t have a desire for replies or anything at all, really. I just needed an outlet to vent at. My apologies to those of you whom I have wasted your time.