I got a letter that it’s time for my 2-year disability review, where they look at my medical records and decide if I’m still disabled. I had to apply for disability 4 times because I kept getting rejected for the most trivial and ridiculous reasons. I know how they will look for any reason they can to get out of approving you. For instance, if your medical records aren’t written a certain way or don’t give the specific information they’re looking for. I can’t control how detailed my doctor wants to make my notes. I’m so scared they’ll do the same thing again and I’ll lose my benefits. 

If I lose my insurance, I can’t afford to see my doctor or pay for my medication. Even after Medicare pays their part, I still pay $500 a month for my meds and $40 for the doctor’s visit to get them prescribed. Without insurance there’s no way I could ever afford them. GoodRx won’t help with my latuda because it doesn’t come in generic. I used to take a cheaper alternative (Zyprexa) which made me gain 80 pounds. I’ve worked so hard to get that weight off, I don’t want to have to switch back. And a few days off my meds, I’m a danger to myself. I’m absolutely terrified of what can happen if I lose them. Best case scenario I end up in the psych ward and get a huge hospital bill I have no way of paying. My last stay was $10,000 for a few days. 

But I also can’t work. I worked as long as I could. My last job, I attempted suicide due to the stress and had to quit. I can’t even handle showering or going to a store, much less a job. 

So now I’ve got it hanging over my head that it could all be taken away, and I can’t keep my mind on anything else. Has anyone else gone through this situation? Does anyone know how strict they are about making decisions? Are they just going to check if I still have bipolar disorder, or are they going to scrutinize everything like the first time? Thanks for any info or advice anyone can give.