Helloo I’m a 20 Male, I don’t really know how this goes but I’m kind of desperate here, it’s not that I don’t have anyone to talk to or want attention. But I just don’t know what’s going on. Little background about me is I’m 20 and I’m married to a beautiful woman who also is my best friend and I have a loving family and I work full time and workout daily I’m pretty healthy guy. I love hanging out with people, exploring new stuff and cracking jokes. 
It’s not that I can’t talk to her or my family but I just don’t want to scare them. I’m concerned and confused myself. My family has a history of depression,bipolar. But I was grown up to not really believe in therapy,medication or there’s not really a mental illnesses out there from my dad if that makes sense. 
I don’t really talk about my feelings so this is new but I’ll come out with it.
I feel happy in general but my thoughts are all over the place I don’t really know how to put it but it’s like there’s a voice sort of or more like my self conscious voice or whatever but it’s very negative. Like not to sound crazy but it contradicts everything I think into bad thoughts, crazy things. Things I would never even say or do in real life. I would never hurt anyone or myself. But it is tiresome battling this every second of the day. But it isn’t everyday. These past 2 days have been rough tho. It hasn’t been this extreme or ever happened until this past week , I’ve been sad before or stressed but nothing like this. I just feel mentally drained and tired I haven’t been getting good amounts of sleep this past week and I work a lot. I hope I’m not crazy I’m trying to get into the first responder field I have classes in August but I just know this isn’t me. I’m open for suggestions, input, questions, advice, literally anything. Thank you for reading this