Hi all,  
As the flair shows, I do not have BPD but I was best friends with a BPD sufferer for about 8 months and the friendship ended about 2 weeks ago now. We were extremely close, we would talk about anything and everything without it ever being weird, we would spend 3 days + together every week. She was honestly the closest relationship I'd ever had. But that slowly started to change ever since I first told her that I was having trouble being the only person she came to for emotional support. Ever since then we began fighting about various things every so often, usually these fights would revolve around her hurting me in some way. Instead of apologising she'd argue that me getting hurt was unreasonable. But we had one of these fights maybe once every 3 months or so, each time our friendship would weaken until now, where after the last fight our friendship kinda ended.  


The way in which things ended was really fucking hard for me. Essentially she didn't cleanly end it. She ended it by suddenly distancing herself from me. She maintained this distance for almost a month total, every time I'd ask her to hang out she would claim she was "Too Busy" despite the fact that she was off work over the christmas break. She also stopped texting me for the most part but would string me along, feeding me false hope and promises, by occasionally sending a really nice message, such as her new years day one which called me "Her soulmate in friend form". Or one which said "I Hope to see alot of you in 2021" Or even crying on call as she apologised for being so distant. I honestly didn't know what to think, she'd say she wanted to hang out but would never follow through. One time actually falling asleep when we were meant to hang out, keeping me waiting for 7 hours as I sat there unsure of what was going on. But 3 weeks into this weird confusing time I couldn't sit around sadly waiting to see my best friend again. So I sent her a message asking what was going on. This was her response  [https://imgur.com/a/u7j7wyF](https://imgur.com/a/u7j7wyF)  


So then our friendship was pretty much over. Since then the hardest thing for me has been feeling as though the end of the friendship only mattered to one party. It just feels like she doesn't care. She never apologised for anything, she never said goodbye even though I spent hours crafting my heartfelt goodbye message, and she's never even acknowledged any of what I've had to say since. I've had no form of closure whatsoever.  
Instead she has only contacted me 3 times

.The day after our friendship ended, I put up a song on my instagram story (this one if anyone's interested: [https://genius.com/The-microphones-headless-horseman-lyrics](https://genius.com/The-microphones-headless-horseman-lyrics)) in which the line  
"I miss my closest friend" appears. I captioned it, "hits hard". She wow reacted it and told me "I looked up the lyrics lol" This was the first text she sent me ever since our friendship officially ended. Sent after my heartfelt goodbye (which is viewable at the imgur link)   
The lol felt heartless and cruel and reading her response it felt fucking awful, it made me feel like she was mocking me, even though it was probably just thrown in there out of awkwardness.

.Once to seek my support again, she told me she was feeling really paranoid. Usually, if we were still friends I'd have to call and talk about it, but instead I told her she hurt me, and im angry at her, but I'll call if she needs me. She changed her mind about wanting my support, said her attempt to secure my support was shit, but didn't apologise.

.Again to inform me that she was diagnosed with BPD - I assured her I didn't think she was a terrible person. Honestly I see this as a sort of "image preservation" so I don't go talk shit on her to my mates or something  


But yeah, never an apology, never a goodbye, never even an acknowledgement of any of what I had to say. She's only messaged me 3 times, as mentioned above. I sent her a message explaining to her how much she hurt me (viewable here: [https://imgur.com/a/u7j7wyF](https://imgur.com/a/u7j7wyF)) With this message I wanted her to correct me and tell me she does care about the friendship ending, I wanted her to know how her recent actions had hurt me and was seeking an apology, or any form of closure. But it's been over a week now since I sent that. Im still awaiting a response, which at this point I've accepted is not coming. It just feels shit that I can almost directly ask for closure, telling her that her ignoring me makes me feel like she doesn't care that our friendship is over, and for her to just continue to ignore me. I really find it hard to tell if she cares, and its probably not the best idea in the world to do this, but I want to know how all you BPD sufferers out there felt when you've ended friendships, or relationships, in the past. Did you actually care when you ended your relationships/friendships? If not how did you feel? Of course feel free to provide any context you consider neccesary, I'd be more than interested to read about why this relationship fell apart.

  
**TLDR:** Feel like my old best friend with BPD doesn't care that our friendship ended. Extremely painful to feel like the end of a friendship only matters to one party. I was wondering if any BPD sufferers out there could give me their thoughts on this. How have you felt in the past when you ended your relationships/friendships? Did you care? Of course feel free to provide any context you consider neccesary, I'd be more than interested to also read about why this relationship fell apart.