i need to know what’s going on. i’m so confused about my mental
health and i don’t want to self diagnose, can you help me?

first let me talk about my eating problem. since i was born, i have this weird eating problem. i’m scared to eat new things and i eat maybe 3 meals at all. i’ve tried to eat apple but i was scared and i thought i will vomit. i haven’t ate any vegetables or fruit since i was 4 years old. it’s weird because i really enjoy looking at food and i want to eat everything but i just can’t, i’m scared.

let me talk about the second thing now.
i don’t know what’s going on. my mood is changing every 5 minutes, sometimes it’s so intense. i can’t even stay in a relationship because of this. people get bored of me. i have been self harming for a year now and i have been taking antidepressants called Fluoxetine,but i don’t think it’s helping. i cant have a relationship and thats bothering me. people always leave me for my behaviour.   sometimes i have a sudden change of my mood and im self destructive and when i cant find something to cut myself with, i have anxiety. i am shaking crying and cutting and i sometimes have tics. then my mood changes all of a sudden and i am okay again. i think of a suicide really often but i know i cant do it. i have been trying to stay clean with self harm but i cant, i think about it too much when i dont do it at the moment when my mood is changed. i push people away because i think they hate me and i always think that i am annoying for them. 
what is going on?