34 year old male with BPD here. Been in (what was, up until recently) a great relationship for the past 6 months. Like all couples, we have experienced the occasional problem or two but nothing that wasn't resolved within a couple of days. My boyfriend lives in a different city and came to stay with me for the month of October. During that month together we got into a couple of small petty arguments but things never got too heated – then the day before he was due to head back to his city we got into a big argument where he yelled at me.

We've talked it out and both apologised but since then my mind has shifted – I was abused as a child and have PTSD and I know I'm splitting right now but it's been 4 days and I keep having compulsive thoughts (and "dreams") about breaking-up, even though objectively I know I'm with a great guy who really loves me. I know I'm not thinking clearly right now but I don't know how to subjugate these thoughts until I return to my baseline. The idea of getting into another argument where he yells at me really scares me and I know there's no guarantee that it won't happen again – how do I get past this?

When things were good with us they were really good, I love him but not in that painful, obsessive way and we have so much fun together – since we started dating I've felt more content and while I still stress about my future, I don't stress about it nearly as much as before – but now that anxiety has returned and I don't know how to get past this and learn to trust him again.

Help?