A year and a half ago, I met this guy "John" on vacation. We had a great connection going on, and we spent several days together. One night, he introduced me to some other people we met at the hotel. One of them was "Jack". Jack went to the bartender and asked if any of us wanted anything. I asked him if he could get me a water.

I sat down by myself on the couch as Jack got it for me. He gave it to me, and I had a couple of sips. Jack sat down so close that our butts were nearly touching. He put his hand around my waist. I had to use the restroom, and he offered to come to the restroom with me, but I said I was fine. I don't remember much after I stood up from the couch. I know that I wasn't able to walk on my own after using the bathroom, and Jack and another girl helped me. Jack said after I was gone that I was beautiful and that he wanted to hook up with me. John got mad and said he couldn't hook up with me because he liked me. The next day, everyone told me what John said.

I asked John if that was true that he liked me. He denied it, and said that he had a girlfriend, and that everyone else must've bought it up a joke. I told everyone what he said, and they were shocked. They had no idea that he had a girlfriend. He never brought her up. I know he got really mad at them for telling me, but it’s his fault for telling them in the first place. He cut off contact with me. I know they broke up about two months later, but he never came back for me. 

He doesn’t care about me. He cut off contact because he didn’t want to hurt his girlfriend, but what about me? Why didn’t he try not to hurt me? I miss him so much. Not only do I grieve what we could’ve had, but I grieve our friendship. He was a fun person to talk to. I wish I could see him again. If our memories could be erased, and we could see each other once more, as strangers, I would be happy. 

I wanted our friendship to work. I wanted something him. But I’m not desirable enough. I was nineteen when it happened. Up until that point, I never had one guy express interest in me. Not one. So for him to do that was really rough. 

I’ve always wanted to fall in love. Have dinner together. Walk on the sidewalk as we eat ice cream. Sit down on a park bench and talk. I wanted it all so much. I’ve grown up reading fantasy novels. Even then, I’ve always thought that we don’t need magic in this world. All anyone needs is for someone to love them and accept them for who they are. What more magic could there be? 

We don’t need a handsome prince to come rescue me. Or a brave knight to defend me. Even the scrawny village boy, in the face of danger, will stand up and pick up a sword that is clearly to heavily for me, and that’ll be enough. I’m still waiting.