I just feel like every time I get invited to a social event I get so anxious beforehand, that it would be so much easier and better to just say no. Like when I feel kind of lowkey sick for about 24 hours before an event that I'll end up forcing myself to go to and then be underwhelmed by? It just doesn't seem worth it. I go to a party and it's not bad, and it's not like my anxiety thoughts are validated. I don't embarass myself horribly or do anything super dumb or even sit in the corner not talking to anyone. I just feel sort of keyed up and empty afterwards, and it just. Doesn't seem worth it to have slightly awkward conversations while drinking only a little bit because I want to be able to drive myself home whenever I want just so that I can tell myself that I had a social interaction. I said yes to going to a concert with a newish friend tonight, and it's not even an artist that I'm that interested in, and I regret saying yes because I only said yes because felt bad because I've canceled on him like three times before and I like him because he's literally such a nice person and I want to be friends. And it's something that sounds fun in theory. It's sounds fun for the person I want to be. I don't know if it'll be fun for the person I am. But I said yes, and it's too late to cancel and all I've been thinking about for the last couple of days is how I just need to get through this. I just need to get through this evening and then everything will be fine. I just need to make it through the next like. Eight hours and then I'll be ok. And that's not how I should be thinking about this! It's not! I should have fun! I should do things because they're fun! I should say no if I don't want to do something. I just feel like if I said no everytime I didn't want to do something I'd never do anything. Is forcing myself to do this good for me? Is it good for my friendships? Can people tell I don't want to be there and am I making things worse for them? Is it positive or am I just causing myself undue stress? I keep on telling myself that I'll be less stressed if I continue to do things, kind of like driving on the highway becomes ok after you do it every day, but I'm 25 and it still doesn't feel ok. Maybe I should just stop.