I (27F) have been with my partner (25NB) for almost a little over a year now. I love them very much, with my whole heart. they’ve never raised their voice at me, have called me names, physically hurt me, put me in any dangerous situations, etc. they always make sure i’m doing okay, but sometimes to the point of concern, if that makes sense? is it normal for someone with BPD to kind of push their partner away and then be upset when there’s distance? for example, my partner will randomly think of something that doesn’t have any context in the situation we’re currently in in the present time, they will then be in their head and push me away, create distance, and then consistently ask me over the course of the day if /I’m/ okay and why there’s distance between us? it’s draining to have to try and not feel the effects of losing my partner when they’re splitting and then try and pick up the pieces when they’re coming back and have to explain every time that the reason there’s distance is because they created it. but they never see that it’s them creating the wall. they build the wall up, brick by brick, but can never see themselves doing it. i’m a pretty stable person, I don’t have mental illness besides anxiety and i’m also on the spectrum (not a mental illness lol), but it’s so energy consuming to always have to make a case everyday to tell them that i’m fine and nothing is wrong with me or our relationship. I mean this in the nicest way, but every relationship issue we have had has been because of their mental illness. i’m just very very tired and losing a little hope right now. I love them, they treat me very well, but the taking my energy and then asking me why i’m the one that’s tired everyday is….tiring.