So I usually don't really talk with people about my feelings as I consider myself to be an inclosed person. But I feel that I just need to vent tbh and tell how I feel these weeks. I'm a happy guy in general and I always try to bring happiness to the people around me. However, deep inside of me I feel so empty. I experience this feeling already for months. I wake up in the morning, open my eyes and just start overthinking. 
Everytime I go outside I look at the people around me and they seem to be so happy, they laugh, smile and enjoy life but I feel like an outsider. Oh well the perks of having social anxiety ig. I have these moments when from all of a sudden I start feeling depressed. I just stare to the void, and start thinking about random stuff.

I think that my past really effected me and my emotions tbh. Since my last break up with my ex I just found myself so lonely and moreover miss that feeling of being loved and cared. It's funny because you think that you are going to spend your life with that person whom you really loved but then everything shutters and you become a stranger. Life is difficult but I always keep telling myself that things will get better but I just feel that It's a lie. Maybe they will who knows but I gotta stay strong probably. I lost my appetite asw I eat once a day which isn't so good but I just yeah I don't really care about it. So what do i want? What's the point of me mumbling here. Well love. I just want to have that special thing I once had and enjoyed and made me so vivid. I remember myself back then me and my ex used to call every single day ans I will always remember how excited he was to call and the smile on his face when he saw me. I miss that tbh but I can't let it effect my mood, no. I'm keeping myself together and going further but I think that at a certain point in your life you just start missing those little things that made you happy. I miss it. Every single bloody day. Tomorrow is going to be the same day for me, I will wake up go to study, get home, and spend my evening overthinking while listening to music. But deep inside of me I still hope that it will change.