I’m infatuated with this guy. Is this enmeshment or mirroring? He’s like a copy of my ex but ten times better. I can’t think of anyone else I want. I can already sense this is gonna end pretty bad but I can’t help but want anything else. 

Here we go again. Maybe I should just play it safe and admire him from a distance. I know he’s gonna leave and its gonna trigger my fear of abandonment. Ughh I have to stop playing the same scenarios over and over again. I try to go for other guys and they just don’t do it for me. Its like I’m always fighting this urge. I make the excuse, ‘fuck it I’m young,’ but when am I ever gonna learn. I’ve never been in a real relationship. I want to I just don’t know how to. Also the guys I’m attracted are not generally relationship type guys. How do I stop? I feel like this urge should go away but it honestly doesn’t.