I’m so in love w my FP. He and I only dated for 3 months before I decided he didn’t want to be w me regardless of what he said so I ended things, for him, bc of thinking that’s what he really wanted. We’ve been friends ever since, but his toleration of me continues to decrease. He’s so cruel sometimes and when I do something wrong, which is often, he punishes me somehow for it and I nvr get second chance. For example he used to msg when he was w friends to say hi or check in. I once didn’t hang up w my friend to talk to him for a moment while he stepped away from his friends so now he know longer checks in. He always picks fights then blames it on me. I just can’t win, but I just can’t let go. I love him so much despite his cruelty. I need to let go. I need to, want to, let go. How do I do it? I know I should just do it, bc he clearly hates me. He’s kind of hinted he’s only still in my life bc he’s worried I’ll hurt myself. I’ve assured him I won’t. Instead he stays and he’s so cold and cruel sometimes. I genuinely want to just let go, well I want to want that it seems. I guess I must not really bc even typing those words was really hard for me. If typing about losing him made my heart sink then how can I truly do it? I feel like I can’t survive him. How do I just let go?