 I am almost 21 and I have been struggling with depression and anxiety since I was 13. I have been trying to put my happiness into things or people because the "happiness comes from within" doesn't work for me. The problem is, each time I put my happiness into someone's hands, they completely ruin me. If I put my happiness into my business whenever I have a ifficult month, my mental health is going down the drain. I don't understand how people's life can be going to hell and they're still happy. For me, when my life is going well, I am ok but when something is wrong in my life, my suicidal thoughts are coming back and every time even stronger. At this point I am working 1 job and I have my business, so basically 12h a day, just so I can keep myself busy not to start overthinking again. If this is what life is about, then I don't even wanna make it to 50…