I really need help. I decided to vent here cause my psychiatrist won't meet me till November 7 for our session but I'm feeling so low right now, probably from the school works that's been piling up my canvas account and generally my brain is just so loud these past few weeks. My family is doing their best to help me but I don't think it worked. All the comforting words makes me feel even more depressed, cause I know I will never be good enough, everyday I wake up I know I was never gonna be enough. Maybe I'm feeling like this cause of regrets from doing something out of the line back in July, I mean it's not like my first attempt but I guess it's the most dangerous one? I overdosed myself from my anti-depressants and it didn't work cause of my stupid brain, after 30 minutes from taking the meds I told my older sister what I did. I got scared from the thought that I'll be dead in the morning beside her I don't want that, I don't want to give my sister trauma, I don't want to leave her and my older brother but I was just so tired that I want to sleep for good. But yeah it was a failed attempt AGAIN. Went to the hospital, doctors put a tube in my nose down my stomach stick some charcoal in it, everything's a blur after that I was so high from the meds I don't remember much. Then they put me in a mental institution. It was traumatizing the only good thing was I didn't get tied up I would probably be tied up if I let my intrusive thought win over me that one time, I really want to escape that place so I was thinking of escaping but meh I was such a good-y two shoes fucking idiot. Anyway I don't think my vent story made any sense I just really need some advice how to get out of this stupid depression of mine it's so frustrating I was okay the other day then the next day I'm so done with life and repeat. So, sorry if this really made no sense at all but writing this made me feel a little better.