I moved to the US from my home country a year ago, seeking better medical training. I did all what I can to survive for a year and a half and I’m almost there and about to start my training for 4-5 years, but I can’t do this anymore..I swear I can’t. I miss my family, my parents, my brothers and sister, and my hometown. I miss everything and I want to go back, but I can’t..I already missed the chance for getting the training in my country, and it’ll be a disappointment for my family, the only thing that I can’t accept or bare living with.

I have my wife in the US with me, but still. I want to go back. It sucks back there, I wouldn’t get a proper medical training, but I enjoyed my life there..I really did .. I spend my day thinking and remembering every single memory I had and cry in the bathroom or the other room. I need to man up and I tried, I really did I swear. This is the first time I talk about this. This happened to me last year at the same time but I had a reason for it and I risked everything and went back home knowing that I might not be able to go back to the US, but things worked out in a very weird way and I was able to go to the US again. Now, I’m questioning every decision I made in the past 6 years that led me here. Was it the right decision to move to the US and leave my family? To look for a better training and a better future? I’m afraid of risking it again and going back, because if I did, I will not be able to come back this time, and I will lose everything..literally. 

I’m so overwhelmed, I can’t start my training like this, and I don’t know what to do..

There was a person who was my to-go person in situations like this and open up to, but I hurt this person so bad and I can’t even ask him for help.. but I really wish this person was still here..