So I have told my mom before that I finally wanted to see a therapist for my anxiety but she just told me she was fine with it but that I can go alone to see one. In till today I talked to her again about how I been feeling this week about my anxiety she finally agreed to help me book an appointment and I know can go alone but lately been feeling very helpless to take that step. Just made me feel like she didn't want to deal with it which made me so sad that my mom doesn't take it serious. I don't know why she has to have the need to say things like am making my life complicated and can't just try to understand that am really struggling with it. Like I can't even have social interactions with people that I get so anxious I become speechless I can't talk. I just want to finally take that step so I can get the help so I don't feel like this because so mentally tiring, that I can't do daily things. I don't want to be stuck in this cycle for the rest of my life but sadly there will people in our life who will never try to understand which I will have to face. Even though it hurts am happy, I will at least finally get the help I need. Just can't stop crying now because it hurts that I don't have people who understand even if I explain, glad at least my brother has been patient with me about it. I just hate that because she shown that it's such a bother to her about my anxiety, that it made me get really depressed that I started having suicidal thoughts that it made me feel how much I hated how I been feeling. Of course I don't believe that taking your own life is the answer but I hate that I am getting these thoughts so much..