Have you ever hit your rock bottom? Like, a feeling of true failure, and loneliness. I should count myself blessed, I have an amazing husband, 2 beautiful children, a bonus child I consider like my own. Saving for a house, booked the holiday of a lifetime. And yet I fell more alone in my life than I ever have. I've had some ups and downs in my life, I've felt what I truly taught was the lowest I could feel when my marriage went south a few years back. But we pulled through, I got us the help that we needed to get back to a good place, and 2 years later we were blessed with our son to go with our daughters. But lately, I feel completely isolated, I paint a smile on my face, and say whats ment to be said. I love my children with all my heart. But I feel alone underneath it all. I feel like I've failed my children, because no matter how hard I try, they still live with there grandparents, watching my husband work hours and hours to try get us a house while I'm on maternity leave. I have not only failed them, but I've failed myself. When I look in the mirror I'm disgusted by what I see looking back, yet I cannot even find the motivation to fix it. This is the lowest I think I've ever been. And I'm not sure what I can do to get back up. I'm not sure I want to anymore.