I’ll keep this short. I (23f) have been seeing a guy (31m) for a couple months. We settled on fwb as our relationship and we’re actually turning out to be good friends. We have electric sex, and hanging out is crazy fun. Literally a win-win-win situation we have going on. 

A few weeks ago I said things were intense for me. He knows I have bpd and other issues. I wanted to slow down but didn’t know how, and that translated into us spending more time together.

Last night I hit my breaking point. It’s been a really rough like 10 days for me, and I also sent him a long message on what I needed and wanted. He said he’d get back to me and never did. I brought it up a couple days ago…he said he was still formulating a response. No, my message was not be admitted an undying love for him. Just: I’m confused and kinda scared, please give me boundaries so I can structure my thoughts and feelings.

Well after sex, I couldn’t stop shaking, and I was on the verge of tears. I felt so awful, I didn’t want him to touch me. He was trying to comfort me, but I just wanted to go home. I still don’t know what went wrong. 

I called him when I got to my car, and he was still trying to make sure I was okay, and I wanted to convey that I was overwhelmed but didn’t know what to do with that feeling. Words were not coming to mind, so I just kept apologizing. 

I wanna ghost him. I feel beyond devastated. I’m genuinely disgusted with myself. I feel truly worthless and gross. I don’t know why. Any insight or advice?