I went through a kafkaesque experience. 

I posted it in detail here https://www.reddit.com/r/Gangstalking/comments/rovzqe/i_have_a_story_to_tell_zersetzung_in_germany/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf

I know how hard to believe the story is, and I’m also aware how paranoid gang stalking appears to people that never saw it. To me too that subreddit looks full of delusional thinking, but there are some true stories out there and with a little bit of research you can read about what past governments did to normal citizens. 

I don’t wish to argue about what’s true or not, just trying to find a way out of this madness. 

Basically I was gang stalked by my own university. Started two years ago. I was spied on, betrayed by everyone I know where I lived and studied including flatmates and friends. I was gaslighted. 
If I tried to speak about it everyone denied it and said I’m delusional. 

I had to deal and or accept everyone’s betrayal, privacy violations, psychological manipulation, vehicle tampering and more. 

I couldn’t deal with it and became suicidal in the beginning. 
Afterwards I was abused by psychiatry. 
After hospitalization I started having revenge fantasies even though I knew I would never do anything. It kinda helped me cope with the situation. 

After a while I started doing weed and lsd and kinda forgot about life for a while and just was happily on drugs most of the times. 
Right now I get do weed daily but I’m not happy or not contempt with the situation anymore. 

I think I have ptsd and depression. 
When the situation was still new I was depressed and sad and angry that I can’t do anything. 
Right now I’m not sure I’m even depressed anymore. I’m definitely not suicidal like I’m the beginning. I just don’t care about anything. Lost interest in society and in life. I’m not sad about it. I kinda accepted the situation I know I can’t change it. 
I have zero motivation to do anything zero interest in anything and just get high everyday. 
I try to do sports but it’s just not interesting anymore. I lost interest in everything I used to be interested in before. 

It’s like I try to keep my mind off remembering the trauma. Any time I’m not high or occupying myself with stupid YouTube binging or other stupid addictions I’m constantly trying to processes my trauma. 

I waited 1.5 years before I started escaping the situation through drugs. I know drugs are not the solution, but to me there is no solution at all. 

I feel I was mind raped. And even if I somehow wasn’t mindfucked I lost all interest in society. I have zero interest in seeing or talking to anyone. Zero interest in being part of society.