i am going to talk to him about something wrong he did to me (i posted about it on my profile if u want to know). 

i know he loves me so much and would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. i have a day or two to rehearse what im going to say. im very proud of how far ive come in terms of having rational discussions and not getting worked up. 

i am worried about upsetting him... even though he is the one in the wrong. i do this thing where i worry everyone else thinks like someone with BPD and they will freak out if i try to have a serious talk. 

i think how i approach this is very important. i know i can handle it. im just worried about him. 

here's what i have: 

"i know u love me very much and you would not do anything to intentionally hurt me. i want our relationship to be strong and it want it to grow. so i need you to listen to me when i say no. "

i feel like that is simple enough. i tend to ramble so im trying to avoid that. all of this will be talked about in person and i will remind him that i love him very much and give hugs. there's that fear of abandonment trying to control me. im trying to make it not control me. i need to have communication with him and say this immediately so it wont happen again. 

but there's still that seed of terror saying "he's going to fall into a depression and want to kill himself because of guilt", or "he will get defensive and angry". both of which end in him leaving me because he cant take it. this one occurrence. thats unrealistic. im glad i can recognize my odd thinking. but it still could happen.