Sometime I feel like the only value I have as a person is my ability to entertain other people or make them smile. Like when I get away from people I go back to my empty hollow shell where I feel like a worthless waste of air. It almost feels like I have a duty to put on a fake face for people and not let on how depressed I feel. If I do I usually make jokes about it but I never get truly vulnerable with anyone about it. I’m just wore out. I wish I could just co exist with myself instead of always feeling like my own enemy.