I have this hollow pit in my chest; but I haven't been able to really feel emotion ( at least nothing fully tangible) for years. It's all...mimicked. Is this normal? I try so hard to feel something, anything fully. But it's frustrating and at this point in my life I just don't bother trying anymore.   


Mimicking is easier, saves me a lot of trouble. When no one is around, I feel nothing. Just this overwhelming empty feeling. I can't figure out what's wrong with me or why this is happening. Is this a BPD thing or is it something else?   


The rare moments I'm able to feel something, it's like my whole soul is on fire and I feel like my emotions have this weird sensitivity. Like if someone says something off from their normal tone, I feel...on fire. Overwhelmed and just..it makes me shut down. I self isolate to a dangerous hermit level.   


I both want to be near people, and at the same time want nothing to do with it.   


What the hell is going on with me...?