

 19 year old male. Diagnosed bipolar 1. I have noticed a decline in functioning  and worsening of mental health. 

I noticed a few days after I got out the psyche ward that cars headlights would appear to flash, I didn't think much of it as I thought maybe it was the angle of  the light hitting my pupils. I had a hard time functioning at work, so I quit and started another job, couldn't function there either. I have little energy, can't really enjoy things, and have been neglecting hygiene. I have noticed my thoughts aren't flowing in a steady direction. Say, I think skiers, my flow of thoughts  would usually follow as "snow" "mountain tops" "avalanche" "disaster" "rescue" "survivors" .....  Your mind would naturally relate those as pertaining to the original thought generated. Now my mind seems to flow in random directions, when I try to connect ideas, it's hard to because thoughts are seemingly flowing in an undirected way. It's hard to acess and elaborate on thoughts because they seem to come in bits and pieces, it's like my mind is denying me acess to said thoughts, it's not as hard when I type, because I have time to gather them. When I'm having to communicate complex thoughts  and ideas verbally , I am having a hard time doing so. 
I have noticed the light flashing has become more appearant,  last night, while I was driving, I noticed that in between the yellow lines, a black, dark smudge would appear, it contrasted a lot against the rest of the dark environment. I slowed down to 3 mph to make sure I wasn't losing my mind,  I couldn't find an explanation as to why it happened other than a type of illusion or something I haven't paid attention to before.

I also noticed that certain sounds echo, when I was listening to the radio, certain song lyrics that usually resonate with me, were emphasized it seems like. They would echo in a way. The constant bombardment of this, plus all the anxiety I'm dealing with, was too much. I would try to turn off the radio because I would get annoyed, but the silence would bother me and I would feel uneasy, so I would turn it back on
.

That, along with one or two other things that are going on, make me feel like I'm losing my grip on reality and I'm losing my mind. I looked online and saw that carbamazepine can cause psychosis, but I'm not sure if it's my mind, or the medication. I am concerned because I'm guessing that if it were the medication, my mental state wouldn't have declined slowly over the last 2  to 3 weeks like this.  I'm obsessing over my mental health, I can't seem to regain a sense of control or get out of my head. I'm stressed and don't know what the hell is going on. It's gotten a lot worse in the last 6 days or so. If anyone can shed any insights, I would greatly appreciate it. I am trying to remain as aware of these things as possible as to keep myself from slipping further, it's hard to keep track of all this and try to get my life back on track due to the mess I made during mania.  I'm overanalyzing my thoughts, my environment, and my perceptions. I'm exhausted and don't know if it's the medication or my mind. Any insights will help, thanks.

I don't know If I'm being too anxious and suffering from hypochondria, that's why I'm trying to find proof that I'm having disturbances in my mental state, trying to find a reason as to why I think I'm losing my mind, I'm not sure if I'm hallucinating or if I'm just so anxious that I think I am. I'm overanalyzing my thought processes and perceptions, I don't know if this is actually happening or if I just think it is. It's stressful. 

Either way, it's new to me and this started happening once I was discharged.