I don't know how to live anymore. I don't know I can go on (I know that sounds melodramatic) but he was the only good thing in my life. I'm so  alone. Sometimes in the day I'm a little bit better but not fully okay but once I think about him (it's really hard to not) I completely break down. I've been hysterically crying the past few weeks thinking about all the mistakes I made. I know he probably wants nothing to do with me so I haven't given into the urge to message him when I felt I needed to. He was my rock when everything else in my life fell apart, everything else is still falling apart and now that he's no longer here I just feel like I'm floating away and there's nothing to anchor me down. In previous posts I've spoken about my inappropriate therapist who I find I can't trust, so I feel very alone in this world. I only seem to have this subreddit. I don't know how to hold on anymore. Everybody just gets sick of me and leaves and I'm really working on myself and coping but there's such a big build up without him in my life anymore. I just love him so much and it's hard to accept that he simply doesn't love me anymore 