My entire life revolves around this illness now and it has sucked away any joy and hope I had to be able to live a good rest of my life. I know I can’t die, I have too many obligations, but man would it be nice to be blindsided by a truck where nobody could blame me for my own death. I know it’s selfish thinking, but the thought of dealing with this illness for the rest of my life and dealing with people’s ignorance towards it makes me realize I’d rather just die.