I cried for 5 hours straight yesterday, now i'm crying and shaking. 

I don't want to stop existing. I'm not ready for it it, and i don't think i ever will. 

I feel like i'm loosing touch with reality, as everything is a dream. Random things trigger a anxiety attack. I keep thinking about the last time i do something, or the last thing i see or hear before i die. I don't want this. I don't want to never see my sister again. The more i think abouy paradise the less likely it seems to be real. I'm completely desperate. I vomitef three times already. I look at all that people involved in my life and i cry.