Fuck, I'm stuck.
Let me start by saying I am not suicidal.

I am however depressed as fuck, I'm miserable and angry all the time, and I want help, I really do want to get better, but I don't know how to go about getting help without fucking up my life.
I'm in training of the uk armed forces, I've been depressed for years before even thinking of the military, again I am not suicidal I wouldn't take my life.
I just want to be happy again, I want to enjoy something or anything, I can't even enjoy videogames I just play, give up and move on then cycle back round to it after a couple months to start again, I don't enjoy my training its all boring theoretical stuff, and I can't enjoy going drinking with my squaddies since every time I've faught or argued with either one of them or someone else and ruin the night.
I don't really know what I want anymore other than to be happy and to be in the armed forces, I also don't want to go back home, my parents are grate and do care but I don't want to go back home with nothing like I already did after dropping university, I don't want to go back to sitting at home not going outside for months until I finally get a shit job working shit hours having to be nice to shit people while also having to go government credit meeting once a month just for them to tell me I'm shit and need to do better because the shit pay I get won't even cover the petrol. Fuck imagine how much better my depression would be with all that.
Maybe I should have just been one of the junkies who live life to the shittiest.

But yeah in short I want help but can't without without fucking everything else up. 

My options feel like they're limited to:
I could still quit, deal with all that fuckery just mentioned, hope I'm magically cured within a year, continue dealing with all that shit for another 3 years and hope that the armed forces would take me back.
I could become a drug dealer god knows there's demand for that back home.
Or the more realistic one I just continue drugging through for either ever or something happens or I change my mind about suicide or just get happy.

I just really don't know what to do anymore.