So I came back home after 6 months of staying in a different state for my uni. as soon as I landed and entered my room all of the memories came flooding back to me everything. where it all started and the place it ended. You know that feeling you have in your gut when you are about to really cry and want to curl up in a fetal position and just cry everything but the tears never come from the empty eyes and this strange and unknown numbness that surrounds I don't feel anything all I see is the darkness that follows. all I want is to be in control of my mind in a simple mind over matters that haunt me. I just feel like screaming and yelling at her for destroying my whole uni life and making my life miserable and low. all I see is beauty from pain. I just want a moment of letting go and experince leaving her in the past and forgive her and myself but it seems im the one who is commanding darkness and im just a forbidden attraction but still it brings me to the ONE QUESTION ! WHY ME ?