I am being charged with assault. My first arrest and offence in my life and hopefully my last.
I feel like this is the end of the line for me. I can’t see any way to move forward from this than to die. 
Because I will never be cured. I will never get better. I will never have a loving and healthy relationship.
I will never be more than a pathetic, abusive, piece of shit.

I only cause misery on everyone and myself. I want to fucking die, but I want to run away and die quiet and alone.