well i'm just bored of it.. always the same. i start talk with someone, i get obsessed then it's kinda worse than being lonely. jealousy and stuffs like that are awful. i don't want to feel them again, but loneliness is awful too.. it hurts.

so now i don't know what to do.. start looking for a new fp so i could humiliate, ridicule myself again with the waves of painful jealousy and other things so at the end i could block them again because... idk why i never understand why.. or i should stay alone in the safe suffering from loneliness?