writing this as i sit in my car crying for no apparent reason for the umpteenth time this week. 

the anxiety was once manageable, but i can’t even function anymore. i feel like an empty shell of a human being. i can’t connect with people, i can’t enjoy the things i used to enjoy, i can’t get any work done, i can’t focus or find any motivation, i always say no when my friends invite me out. 

i have been in therapy for almost a year and i feel it’s doing nothing for me. i don’t have anyone else in my life who understands or listens. 

the worst part for me is with all of this anxiety, i feel that i’m underperforming with my job. i am a sole earner in my household and i don’t even want to think about what would happen if i were to lose my job. this intensifies the anxiety x10. 

i’m at a point where i just want to give up. i’ve worked very hard to be where i am, and now i feel like all that work is in the toilet because of my anxiety. i don’t want to continue. i feel like it’s never going to get better. i feel like what’s even the point of living a life where you feel anxious and on edge all the time. 