I have a partner who is chronically depressed. I've basically known this since the day I've met him, but I have always encouraged him to seek help, and to at least not push me away when he feels like avoiding everyone. We had our ups and downs, and there have been periods where he was getting better, and then he would relapse.

I get it, it really sucks, and it makes you want to be away from everyone. However, at the beginning of our relationship, he used to tell me how I made his depression better, how I was like his cure, even days when he felt bad he told me talking to me made him feel better. The feeling now that I'm no longer this "spark" that encourages him and that he genuinely wants to not talk to me makes my fear of rejection really hard to handle, and I realized that his depression drives me into a depressive episode too. I've read that pbd depression and chronic depression are not the same. However, I know what his symptoms feel like, and I know what he is going through, but despite that, I always looked forward to talking to him. If I was going through a depressive episode, I would reject everyone, but he was the only one I really wanted to be with, knowing talking to him would bring relief. The feeling that he "doesn't really want me" is making me really sad, and I don't know what to do.