Not sure where to start, so I’ll just vent I guess? I’ve lived with generalized anxiety disorder and depression for most of my teen and adult life. Despite that, I’ve found the woman of my dreams who means the world to me, and we have a beautiful newborn daughter together. All things considered, we have an amazing life together.

Normally I deal with my anxiety and depression through medication and regular therapy. However for the last 2 weeks if found myself waking up with incredible sadness and a feeling of impending doom. An incredible fear that I’m going to lose everything I love in my life.

I’ve become super attached and dependent on my wife for emotional support, and have lost all joy from things I used to love. I have regular intrusive thoughts about harming myself. I don’t want to act on them, but the thoughts persist anyway. I cry for hours at a time, inconsolable basically.

My worst fear is the toll this is taking on my wife. It’s like I’m dragging her down with me and I fear it’s making her resent me. I have trouble doing basic tasks and find it hard to play with my baby/take care of her needs when she’s crying, etc.

I’ve continued to do therapy and am talking to my doctor about changes in medication. I guess right now I’m feeling like I can’t see an end to the pain I’m feeling, no light at the end of the tunnel. I want my life back and I feel like I’m trying everything but getting nowhere.

Anyway, I guess I’m just looking for any kind of support to get me through this.