I feel like i’m going to die soon and there’s nothing I can do to change that.

I’ve done literally everything you can think of to get better and nothing works, i’ve done therapy &amp; everything that follows that including medication and everything else, I got to university, I keep myself active, I look after my mental state, I don’t abuse substances &amp; generally i’m very self aware. However I suffer which major intense suicidal feelings and which I do attempt to take my life it gets suppressed for a certain amount of time but then just comes back even stronger every time. The last time i majorly overdosed and was in hospital for a few days they told me my body couldn’t take it anymore, I have attempted over 50+ times maybe even more and I wish I was exaggerating but truly i’m not and every time i feel closer and closer to death. Every single time it fails I get so angry because I truly wish it would just work. I hate myself and I know I try my best but it just isn’t good enough and I know for 10000% the next time I will definitely die and I pray I do.