Ive tried twice already. I am feeling like I want to try again. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I think I keep trying because if she’s gone, I won’t have to keep living anymore. I promised myself I would never end things while i’m with her, so of course we would need to break up before I do it. She’s so sweet and caring and makes it clear how much she loves me and wants to be with me but I just feel so bad. I need weed to feel okay and she doesn’t even know that i still smoke (i told her i would stop a long time ago when my addiction was at its worst and i was spending too much money). im just a liar and an addict. I’m so bored. I feel so fucking bored of living. She doesn’t deserve this and I told her this the two times but she insists that she wants what she wants and that’s me. I don’t want to fail her or myself