It’s been a wild ride so far, I been broken by the rules of life. I tired endure what life has thrown at me, stood tall for a while but alas it not worth fighting any more. I am hopeless. I tired to pretend that I do not care, that I am strong. But every one has there limit and I think I have reached mine after 30 years of life. 

Wish I didn’t feel this away, wish that it will all be ok someday. It’s just so hard to coup with this pain, constant pain. I loved. I lost. I long for a meaning to this madness, but I don’t see one. For now I will continue to live but it will be not living but surviving day to day until a peaceful exit.