A month ago, my best friend cut me off without any warning. I thought things were fine. He told me he wanted space to finish his schoolwork. After reading the text he sent me, I decided that since I loved him a lot that I would take a moment to think through my response. I ended up saying, “okay, that’s okay, let me know if you need anything.” He sounded like he was upset, and to be honest I got scared and had the feeling he’d cut me off. I sent him a heart pastry to let him know that things were good. He went from calling me every chance he got to not even telling me that he left to another state for a week. I asked him if everything was okay, and if I did something wrong and he told me I didn’t. I stayed up all night worrying until I downed 2 melatonin to finally put myself to sleep at 7. We had a lot of plans. We were so close. I impulsively sent multiple paragraphs about how I didn’t appreciate him ignoring and avoiding me. He never responded... sometimes I would see him and he’d pick up his phone to pretend he was talking to someone. We work together and tonight I found out he called out just to avoid me. My friend told me that one of his friends said I was too negative and that I relied on him too much. This isn’t the first time this has happened. I’m so afraid to let anyone get close to me. Everyone that does ends up leaving forever. My self esteem is the lowest it’s ever been. I expect this to happen with everyone now. No one wants to keep me in their life for more than a year. What’s wrong with me?
self diagnosed, seeking help before the end of May.