The worst and best part of the year is here. Winter speaks to my soul, there's something beautiful about the death of everything then sudden vibrant rebirth of early spring. However, like years past, this time of year hits me hard. Like the first night of day light savings time, five p.m. and darkness swallows the sky. I too am thrown into battle with myself again for unknown reasons. This period is my yin and yang. I'm happy, yet drowning in a sea of emotions and previous memories. 

Tonight family is over for a joint birthday dinner my brother in law and aunt share. I want nothing to do with it, not because I don't care but because I don't know what it's like tho have had stability like this during childhood. It's a shame, because I enjoy their company, the child inside me however is terrified.