I feel like I'm feeling mostly good about myself and my mood lately, but I am scared shitless that I will fall in bad habits again. I don't want to message anyone I shouldn't, most of all. I'm going to explore my thoughts during when I feel like messaging someone I shouldn't, or when I just check up on girls. I'm making a journal on it. Sorry if hard to read. I am on weed for the first time in like 2 weeks.

I'm also not sure if I actually have BPD. I just felt like I have most of the symptoms. So, I'm getting an online opinion from a doctor on my benefits. I might schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist, just to be sure. The online doctor will call me tomorrow.