I’m a 35 y/o female.  (Pretty new to reddit so sorry if I don’t use all the proper abbreviations and such).
I have NOT been diagnosed with BPD. 
I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder which is described as PMS on steroids).
I don’t have a good history of sticking through with therapy but CBT is the approach that has been used with me. 
My own research leads me to believe that I have BPD and PMS kind of flares it up. 
I recently moved and plan on establishing care with a new therapist once the covid stuff settles down a bit. 
Anyways - 
I’ve been in a relationship with my current partner for a little over 2 years.  He’s amazing but also human and doesn’t know how to handle my intense reactions to the littlest things.  Most recent fight is about him telling me he will be home late.  I just can’t seem to react normal to these things.  Like no matter how bad I want to I can’t calm down enough to process my thoughts and I just lose it.  I’m upset with the way he told me he would be home late.  
This happened a couple days ago and we haven’t really talked much at all. 
He called me a little bit ago and tried to talk to me.  I threw the phone where I couldn’t hear him talking and he eventually hung up.  He called again and I said I refuse to talk about it.  So he said (in a fed up tone) that he will just let me do my own thing, whatever that means. 
Is this me being stubborn or trying to cope? 
I kind of feel like I’ve spent so much of my life trying to figure out and work through my emotions and determine what’s me being rational and what’s the mental illness and I just don’t want to anymore.  
I also feel like talking doesn’t get anywhere because I always react the same and feel the intense emotions and rage.  I can’t even figure myself out.  But I also don’t want to just apologize and always be the one in the wrong.  
It feels like I’m sitting at the bottom of a big treadmill and I don’t have the energy to even stand up and attempt to get on.  

Can anyone else relate?