I started becoming extremely anxious around 2016-17 as I found out people in my school were talking about how weird I was (possibly undiagnosed autism or at least that makes more sense than being a loser without reason.) and it kept getting worse from there with drama in friend groups and school related stress. I hoped when I got to college it would be a lot better and make better friends with a study I really liked.

College was alright for some time, nice group of friends I’d see from time to time (mid-pandemic so it was rare to see them in person) and I was honestly enjoying the course, however that all changed when the patterns happened again and I was all alone with a course I began to resent. Knowing I wasn’t going to be what I originally wanted I left college after my degree to try something new. Luckily enough I got a job at a gigs place for concerts with great pay and a new opportunity to start over.

You can guess what happened next.

I need the job so I can stand on my feet but I fear everyone will see me as a useless parasite, fucking up again and again on accident and draining their battery’s, nobody talks to me willingly and I’m always at a distance when they’re enjoying themselves. I’m a cancer on anyone who meets me.