I'm done. Like. I've been doing really fucking well lately, I haven't thought of killing myself for a couple months. I haven't self harmed either. I went through a really devastating break-up last May I think, and I couldn't get over it. I felt so terrible fo so long but I finally started to feel good about myself. Well, better anyway. I don't think I have the capability to love anymore but that's a separate issue.

Then everything started to go to shit. I got into a car accident. I got screwed over by the insurance company. I bought a piece of shit car. My rat died. I started thinking about my ex again and I bit hard into my wrist. I was almost at tears. My best friend is basically unresponsive. I don't really have any real friends anymore. I drive the car for a couple weeks and the brakes go out. Costs $1000 to fix and replace. Then the alternator, $350 more. Some other shit goes wrong with the engine, needing another $400. My tire goes flat and needs replacing, $140. I find out it needs even more work on the bearings, $800. My other fucking rat dies. It needs another $1300 on other shit. I paid $2000 for this hunk of bullshit.

I fucking hate my life. I don't want to be here anymore but I fucking have to and it pisses me off. Fuck