By we, I mean she.  She wanted to get away, decided we're not a good fit. Which is fair, because we most certainly are not. She's promiscuous, alcoholic, and developing a coke habit. She only has guy friends and she's a sex addict. I, on the other hand, am on probation for my 3rd DWI. I'm on total lockdown, no contact with anybody but my coworkers. I moved to a new town before getting arrested almost immediately.  When she tried to break things off with me, it was a ghost maneuver, and it sent my into a violent, alcohol induced, obsessive rage that she just cannot forgive. Now I'm stuck with ruminations of how we were, and constant paranoid thoughts of the guys she's probably having sex with every other night.  And I have to see her at work, acting like I'm not being eaten alive every waking moment. She should be easy to forget, I know I'm too good for her. But, my BPD put her in a box, and I can't let go.