My mental health is getting worse again, particularly my anxiety and OCD. My parents refuse to allow me to get diagnosed with anything despite knowing i have regular panic attacks and that i’ve self harmed and peel at my fingers constantly. And teachers have constantly failed helping me despite constantly recognising my degrading mental health. 

I recently found out someone i know also has anxiety and OCD and that she gets special accommodations in another room and oh my god it has made me feel so bad these last few days. Of course its not her fault, its amazing shes getting help but fuck i am so jealous and angry. 

My brain won’t stop ticking all the time, it just never turns off. Panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, that constant sinking feeling just NEVER going away. 

I had a really bad depressive period about a year and a half ago now and i’ve been feeling kinda numb ever since. But now that my brain has started to feel things again, all the anxiety is coming back so quickly.

All i want is to have my own room for exams. I even hallucinated during one of them in the large hall but that’s a whole other issue i have to solve. 

I’m almost 17 and i keep telling myself just one more year and i can help myself but a year keeps feeling much longer everyday.