I only have one semi close friend but have a lot of contacts and friend groups to reach out if I wanted to. But that’s the problem. I have zero self confidence and the person I hate the most in this world is my self. My close friend told me one time that all the girls in the friend group are thinking that I am strange or mysterious because I don’t talk much or am not talking about myself. But I don’t see a reason why I should talk about my life or my persona and I talk only much if I am feeling confident. But that’s really rare. I can’t help myself and don’t know what to do. I feel really ugly but there are a few really beautiful girls that I know or I was told that they have/had a crush on me which I had never expected. But I can’t really believe that even though it’s true, because I hate myself so much and feel really ugly. I really want to socialise but there is this invisible barrier I can’t cross. Now I graduated from school and have 0 social interactions anymore. I feel so fkn lonely