I've been with my bf for over two years now. When we first got together, I was pretty heavily addicted to Xanax and partying. I was in a really low point, but he seemed to make it a little better. Fast forward three months, and he's encouraging me to move back home to help deal with the addiction. I was hesitant because I know my family doesn't believe in mental illness, and just not good for me to be around, but he genuinely seemed to think it would help, so I went. HUGE MISTAKE. I was basically just kept in isolation for what was supposed to be three months, but it turned into seven. My bf ended up hardly ever calling me when he said he would, he never visited for the first 2-4 months, and lied to me quite a bit. But it would also switch where he would be super supportive, and "try" to come visit, etc. Then we get to the point where I move back, and while I'm super excited, he was more reserved than ever. He spent almost every night the first week I was back at his friends house. I had never felt so distant from him, and we were finally in the same town again. About after a month, a friendship I have with a guy slightly turns into something more (mostly because I just felt super isolated.) (It was mostly just emotional, aside from him kissing me twice.) I had stopped hanging out with my friends, because he told me he felt they were bad influences, yet he kept hanging out with the same people and going out to bars and smoking just about every night. Fast forward to June, and it's my 21st birthday, and I'm completely alone, because none of my friends want to be around me because of him, and I'm crying to my bf about how I wanted to die, and he was there for me. But on his birthday in July, he told me he was just going out with two of his guy friends, which I accepted even though it really hurt me. But then fast forward a few more months, and he had been telling me that he stopped hanging out with those people, and that he was ready to change and grow. But at the end of September, I found out a from an old friend, that my bf never even came to close to stopping. He was still going over there just about every week. When I asked him about it, he lied to my face AGAIN. He told me that I was paranoid, and letting my BPD make me crazy. We had a huge blow out, I ended up going to the hospital, and it was a huge ordeal, but we stayed together because he begged me to. Then fast-forward to December, he was still lying about stupid things, but when I would call him out on it, he would make something up, no matter how illogical or unreasonable it was. I kept trying to ignore it, but things just kept getting worse in my head. I found myself constantly checking his phone again, checking his facebook, checking his friends twitters and facebooks, searching for truth. And that's when I found it. I found all sorts of pictures from him at parties he said he never went to, with people he said he was never around, etc. While they were all from August or before, he still told me that there was nothing else I would find out. But here we are. I've gone back to counseling, and I'm trying to stay on my meds, but this is really throwing me off. I feel like I'm going crazy trying to figure out what's going on. I don't know if I was in the wrong for isolating him and making him feel like he had to lie to me to have friendships, I don't know if he's in the wrong because he never really tried to talk to me about it or change anything. Please any responses would help, I'm just about losing my mind right now.

DISCLAIMER: I feel like I left out a bit of the crazy shit that I pulled too, that might make a difference but I'm not sure.