I’m not sure if that’s the best analogy but I just feel broken. My life is a mess, I’m fundamentally broken and give people the wrong information. I do nothing expect exist alone. I feel like nothing. I think the worst thing is I don’t feel anything. I feel empty. Of course, not all the time. I feel anxious right now and shameful. I’ve been doing a lot more thinking I guess but not a lot. My brain feels like a mixture of circuits going haywire. I feel alone and broken. I wanna change and do something right and it’s not that I don’t know how to do it I just don’t know where to start or where to go or if things will get better. If that gets worse time is going by so fast and I can’t stop it. It either goes too fast or too slow and I can never catch up with it. I guess that’s what laziness does.

I just don’t wanna sit and waste my life away. I don’t wanna wallow in my own pain. I wanna understand it I wanna learn from it. I don’t even know who I am. My life really feels like a lie. I feel confused and there’s so many thoughts that conflict and I’m overthinking everything. I just wanna live but there’s nothing to live for. It’s either I die first or the world is gonna decide. I mean, the planet is dying and I think that’s adding on to my worries. I don’t know, I’m just rambling at this point. I just don’t wanna exist right now.