Over the years there has only been 1 constant childhood friend who is still my best friend in my life.
I've tried having other friendships too but when I get close to people it seems they either leave because of my disorders and can't handle it or I push them away because they were just using me.
There's no point to having people in your life when nobody stays long.
I'm scared of attachment and when I get too close it's at that point it feels like that's when they push me away...

The last 3 years there have been only 2 good friends I consider close (not including my best friend but he lives far away) and I feel that they are the only people that care more than others but I also feel like such a leech on their lives. I can tell at times they distance themselves a bit and maybe it's the sign they will leave too.

I'm better off being a loner with pets.