So I just had my first panic attack today at school. During class my anxiety starting kicking in. I tried calming down but then had trouble breathing. This always happens in this class and another one. And I then I had a lot of gasses like wanting to fart and burp. But I kept holding them in. Which made things worse with the breathing struggle. Like I said this always happens during that class and another. But I usually kept it control even tho I was shitting myself in the inside. But this time I couldn’t. The class was quiet so I just couldn’t burp or take in deep breaths since I get embarrassed about it. Feel like a fool saying it but I do. Near the end of class is when I couldn’t handle it. I kept moving in my chair, tapping my pencil, biting the inside of my mouth, chewed gum, put my volume up for my music. But it didn’t do the trick. I started to kind of shake. Got dizzy and my heart started pounding harder than ever. Then is when I realize I was going through it. The first couple seconds I tried to “control” it. But couldn’t I felt like crying. But holded my tears. Cuz I didn’t want to break down during class. I sit in the front so yeah. Don’t want to do that. I thought of just walking out of class. But I know it’ll bring consequences. I raised my hand but she was busy on computer. I got up and asked her. Good thing I could bring those words out during it. I walked out and locked my self in the bathroom. Took my mask off and calmed down. I then went back and felt my anxiety kick back. But class was ending. After that I was fine. I think what triggers my anxiety is that the class is so quiet and then I sit in the front. And I feel like people are looking at me. And I can’t burp or breath since everyone will hear. That sounds so dumb. LOL. But here is the thing. It only happens in this class and another. In my other classes I sit in the front and it’s quiet but I don’t have this anxiety. I’ve been reflecting about this and I think it’s the people that are in the class that triggers me. There are these girls. I’m not really friends with them. But as much as I hate admitting it, I care about their opinion of me. So I think it was causes it because they sit behind me. I tell myself that they don’t care about me. But my mind decides it’s the contrary of it. I told my mom about it and she’s making an appointment again with the therapist. I went with her for my depression. I stopped going but my depression is over. I’ve handled it by my own. I just can’t handle this on my own like my depression. After the class I had gym. I played volleyball. The good thing of me. Is that my anxiety only kicks durning that class and stops when I leave that class. Before that class and after it my day is normal. I’m cool and shit. One last thing it felt like an orgasm but not the  good kind. So thanks for reading it if you made it through this post. I just wanted to share this and see y’all thoughts on it.