Wondering about BPD 1. 
My life is a bit of a wreck at the moment so please forgive me if I’ve posted inappropriately. I’ve been married 20 years, had kids, with a severe alcoholic/substance abuser(which I was too years ago, I’m no angel) who has been an emotionally abusive and frequent cheater throughout our entire relationship. To say things were bad would be polite. She recently torpedoed her life and went to rehab and was diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder while there. My question, which I feel is big, is how am I, and our kids, supposed to feel about this? We separated a couple years ago but I’ve been heavily involved in her life because of our kids (she’s their mother, and I would never turn them against her), because I care about her, and because she still reaches out to me when panicking, depressed, crippled with anxiety, completely out of her mind,,, I’m basically her life vest. There’s been so much destruction. When I thought it was only alcohol/substance problems it pointed my thoughts in a certain direction, but then the BPD diagnosis added a different element. I can understand the self medicating, but, the constant cheating, is it connected to BPD? The emotionally abusive, narcissistic, and controlling behavior,,, is it connected to BPD? She’s still in recovery, now outpatient, and we haven’t had conversations about her BPD because the focus is on her learning how to live sober, which is a struggle. I was hoping when I got sober years ago it would inspire her to clean up but the better I got, the worse she got,,, could BPD have been a partial reason? Anyways, if anyone can relate or provide some insight it would be appreciated.