It scares me to say, but I feel entitled to my friends’ attention. When nobody I like is interacting with me, I become unnerved and often zone out. I always leave social gatherings early, so I can escape this feeling. Last year I had a major emotional episode because my friends changed their seating at a party without calling me over. The year before that, I was having meltdowns because my then FP wasn’t attracted to me and was sleeping with somebody else. Just a few weeks ago, my now ex GF/FP was talking enthusiastically on the phone with a friend of hers, whom I feel took advantage of her sexually. That caused me to spiral so much I was unable to move or communicate, other than by blinking.

Even if I had better reasons to be jealous, I have no excuse for being so emotionally possessive of those in my life. I feel like I’m an entitled bitch, something I would never wish myself to be if I could control my emotions better. 