All ive ever really wanted to do was be successful. Lately those dreams have been further and further away. Im struggling with school. Im on autopilot most of the time and its gotten so bad that i struggle to talk with friends because it takes so much out of me. 

I kind of just trek through the day and do the same old everyday. i get distracted so easily and have been told REPEATEDLY that im not trying. and that i have to start trying to succeed. But how can i try if i have lost all interest anyway? 

Im also getting sick of people asking me if ive been thinking about self harm. NO? ive never wanted to do that. i want to live to the fullest i can, its just that i cant right now. ive kind of given up caring and the only thing keeping me motivated is that the next day will revive me. those hopes have been going strong for years in a row.