after my fp cut me off earlier this year, i decided to take a trip to another city to visit who i thought was my best friend of 10 years. the whole trip was a mess. she was distant the whole time, and i didn’t even see her smile or laugh the whole time i was there. 

i kept trying so hard to make sure i wasn’t upsetting her and nothing worked. i don’t know what i did wrong, since the last time i visited her we had an amazing time, and we had talked online every day since then, but she kept claiming she “didn’t remember” anything about the last trip. halfway through the week i broke down and cried and asked if i was upsetting her, and she just told me that i wasn’t the problem and to “stop making it about me”. 

i used to wake up to notifications from her every day, but now i wake up to nothing. i have almost no friends here, so it’s absolutely crushing to never wake up to anybody checking in on me. i thought she was my best friend, and i thought this trip was going to be the amazing week that would make me feel better about losing my fp, but now i’ve lost another friend. 

i texted her last night saying that i missed talking to her, and asking if i’ve done anything to upset her, and she left me on read. i dont know what to do anymore, and i don’t even feel like life is worth living anymore if i don’t have the one person i thought actually cared about me anymore. please help, i don’t know how i can go on like this.