Ok. So for one and a half years, I am having these strange headaches that come and go. These headaches started after a full blown anxiety for about a week when I was convincing myself that something is wrong with my body. All my life I had depression, but never a physical symptom. So this come as a shock to me that anxiety can trigger such debilitating symptoms. 

I am on the verge of panic on multiple occasions during a day. Even when the headache goes away, my panic seems around the corner. 

I was prescribed amitriptyline and venlafaxine by a neurologist. The combination seems to work but it felt like venlafaxine, which I was taking in the morning, was giving me more anxiety so I gave that up. Now I take amitriptyline at night. Right now I have taken 20 mg of amitriptyline. It gives me a pretty deep sleep.     

But the main issue for me is that sedation from antidepressants resolve the physical symptoms and not the underlying issue. This is the first time I am experiencing the dread of the subconscious mind and how it can make one feel unhealthy both mentally and physically. I feel like this is going to be a long journey and I dread the feeling that I have to convince myself everyday that the symptoms are from anxiety. Now I realize life was such a smooth sailing before this.

Sometimes I spend such a great time with my university friends that I forget my troubles. But whenever I come home a feeling of dread takes me over and intrusive thoughts keeps on coming. I am just now going to meditate before I go to sleep. I meditate multiple times now during the day. The life just seems very exhausting now. I think I have to consult a psychologist now to help me in this difficult times.