I want to start this off by saying I’m new to this sub, so I’m not sure if this is the right place to post this.. 

However, i need some advice. My partner and i have been dating for almost a year. I have pretty terrible anxiety about small things and overall relationship things. The last person he dated for a long time they were together for 6 years. Broke up about 3 years ago. I am now just finding out a bunch of stuff i had previously asked him about through unfortunately lurking. I can’t stop feeling like I’m not what he wants and comparing our relationship to that one. I recently found out about a ~kink~ he had that he told me he discovered with me but saw they had previously done (posted publicly about on a sub) he told me he had never done that with anyone before. I also found out they considered buying a house together but he told me they were just “throwing the idea around” and nothing came of it. I feel pretty sad about it and i feel like I’m just a replacement though he reassured me I’m not and i am what he wants. 

My anxiety causes me to overthink situations and probably make a bigger deal out of these things than they are to him.  

When I’m anxious I’m also a skin picker and I’m trying to just not overthink the situation and smoke a ton of cigarettes or pick. 

Can anyone give advice on how to approach this in a calm and cohesive manner? I don’t want to start an argument either or make him feel like I’m attacking him. 

Thanks!