A week ago I knew exactly what I wanted, I was planning to move out of my parents home and in with my boyfriend,I was deadset that this was the best thing for me. I was going to move in with the truest love i’ve ever felt and we were going to start our life together. This was going to be the thing that changed my life around. But something switched, I don’t know what changed but I don’t think I’m even in love with him anymore. Everything he does frustrates me, which is such a stark change from before when i kissed the ground he walked on. I keep putting myself down, almost begging him to hate me, wanting him to see me for how I really am. “you can say i’m ugly i don’t mind, I know i am”. I’m trying so hard to push him away, I think i secretly want him to tell me he’ll never leave but at the same time I just want to isolate myself so bad so i never have to talk to him or anyone else again. It’s so manipulative of me to be treating him this way and i’ve tried to talk to him about it but i feel so mean.. Is this what splitting is? I’m sabotaging myself and i’m watching myself destroy my relationship but i can’t stop myself