Hey. So anxiety has been listed as one of my co-morbid conditions to BPD. Anyway, pre 2020 I had somebody there (basically a rock) who clearly put a cushioning to my anxiety even if not very well. However, they were also the cause of it coming out of control. I really miss the support and now I have none and feel I have no grasp on how to control my anxiety without feeling like I’m dying/want to die/going to die. 

The general methods they suggest do not work for me as I now associate them with trauma, such as spraying lavender to sleep, drawing, distractions - this is due to me labelling things I knew in my gut to be true, as anxieties. 

My psychiatrists are hesitant (but not all the way opposed) to putting me on medications as I am pregnant and the ones I can go on, I have a history of not taking them properly (I was very young, didn’t understand and just wanted to feel better). 

I feel very alone and trapped by my anxiety and lack of support surrounding it, but would also like to be able to self soothe in a healthy way as there’s no guarantee I will ever not have anxiety. 

Can anybody guide me? I’m familiar with anxiety but on this scale and not with anybody I trust is really eating me up