vent - I currently have gone through one of the absolutely most mind blowing years of my life.  I've always struggled with anxiety but I've always been able to control it until this year along with getting extreme panic attacks on a weekly basis. 
last December, my boyfriend passed away suddenly due to cardiac arrest which had a traumatic impact on me, the situation itself haunts me, shortly after my sister got out of a bad 14 year old relationship and he burned there house down as he has quite the mental issues, I am very sympathetic about the ones I love, my moms also been sick for the last 4 years but this year I've seen a drastic decrease in her health, then covid hit turning not only mine but everyone's world upside down. not only do I suffer with my own pain but I suffer and take on everyone's emotional pain.  I feel like I'm overloaded by this year, I always like to think positive and find the good in things but this anxiety hits me like a brick so randomly.  I suffer more so lately with the physical side effects, chest tightness, tingling, dizziness and like something absolutely terrible is going to happen to my health from all this over load of stress.  I never understood before how people felt with anxiety/panic attacks but this year was a real eye opener of how many people struggle and I truly can say I now sympathize with many. 
the one good thing 2020 has brought is a new relationship for me, an intimate support system that has helped me a great deal, having someone there when you have a panic attack definitely makes them more controllable  than being completely alone but the struggle is still real and I hope 2021 is a year myself and everyone can jump into on a positive note and be able to do more fun free, less anxiety provoking activities.