I often think about killing myself, not because I want to do it. But so people realise I’m suffering. Almost like a protest.

Day to day it feels like I’m always pretending to be happy. I can’t reveal my true self to anyone because I’d be judged, and it’s starting to wear me down. I’ve told my parents I have depression, but I told them it’s just mild so they wouldn’t worry.

Truth is, I’ve been suicidal nearly every day since I was 14. I was bullied as a child. And I’ve never had friends, ever. I live alone at 27 and can barely motivate myself to eat most days. I have nothing to look forward to. And no one who reads this post will give a shit about me. Because that’s what depression is like. Everyone comes on here to complain about their own lives. I’ve been venting like this online since I was a little kid.

I’ve avoided medication up until this point but I’m starting to think I need it. Otherwise, I don’t think I’ll be around much longer.