I just need to vent about a situation I am currently going through. I’m pretty nervous to post this in fear of being judged. I’m not expecting anyone to care or read all of this, but I am having a really rough time. I’m anxious and depressed and don’t know what to do. I can’t eat and am having trouble sleeping but also can’t get out of bed. I recently hung out with a guy (let’s call him Greg) who I’ve had a huge crush on for the last 8 years. We met in my first year of college and hung out and hooked up all the time. We stopped hanging out about about 3 years ago when I started dating someone. I’ve always had some kind of hope that Greg would end up wanting to date me. That relationship with my ex boyfriend ended terribly this past September, he was physically and emotionally abusive and he ended up cheating on me and leaving me for another girl. Greg had been reaching out to me the entire time I had been with this other guy (and for the entire 8 years that I have known Greg), and eventually asked me to come over almost 2 weeks ago. I agreed, and was extremely nervous going over there. Greg has always made me nervous because I like him a lot and am really attracted to him, but my nerves were shot this time. I ended up drinking too much because I was so nervous and hadn’t drank in a long time. I only remember bits and pieces of the night and wish I could remember more. Sex with Greg was always the best I’ve ever had so it is upsetting to me that I can’t even really remember this time. We watched a couple movies and old YouTube videos and talked about our lives. We hooked up and I was still really drunk the next morning when we hooked up again. I fell back asleep, and he didn’t touch me at all, not even a hug when I left. When I left he said ‘we’ll talk soon’ but I had this horrible feeling that I had done something wrong. I have really bad anxiety, so after I got home I was freaking out and having all these feelings of sadness and fear. So I probably did the worst thing I could do and texted him hours after I had left. He responded days later that he basically doesn’t want to see me again because I’m too emotional and get too attached. I’m just feeling a lot of pain because I don’t think he ever wants to speak to me or see me again. It’s like he died. I also have been beating myself up for screwing it up and being too emotional and nervous. I feel stupid for thinking I might have a shot with a guy like him, because he knew how I felt about him. I’m not sure how to handle the pain and anxiety I’m feeling and just want it to stop.