First off, this isn't meant to attack anyone. I understand how damaging the general stigma about BPD folks is, and why people are defensive and react intensely to generalizations from others (especially the forbidden sub) 

However. I'd like to postulate that maybe, just maybe, saying things like "not every pwBPD is an addict/abusive/insertthinghere" kind of, well...makes the "yes, some borderlines" feel pretty shitty. 

I remember when a YouTuber who I will not name talked about their diagnosis of BPD and said a lot of things along the lines of "I don't want people to think I'm abusive or toxic" and it left a bad taste in my mouth. 

I am abusive. I am toxic. This is a disorder that catches people in the crossfire of its presentation. Just like every mental disorder, BPD exists on a spectrum. A spectrum that fluctuates in every last one of us, and while plenty of pwBPD don't engage in abusive, manipulative behaviors there are plenty like me that do. 

It makes me feel like it isn't worth seeking help. Once an abuser always an abuser, right? I have done awful, terrible, hurtful things to people and I want so desperately to stop. But when I see people talk about this especially ugly side of BPD in this way, it not only contributes to me thinking I'm a lost cause, but that I don't deserve help. That the only solution that would end the pain of my loved ones is death. A lot of my SI lately revolves around feeling like I owe my death to people. 

I also fear that this approach to addressing stigma might cause other pwBPD to fall into denial and not be honest with themselves or mental health professionals about the severity of their symptoms and thus not recieve proper treatment. The worst behaviors come from a place of deep pain and the guilt, shame, and self-loathing around those behaviors creates a feedback loop that myself and others have a hard time addressing when people in our own community post things that feel othering. 

So yeah, not all borderlines are abusive life-ruining manipulators. But those of us who are need and deserve help too.