I've always had an anxiety disorder and some degree of health anxiety, but the health anxiety really ramped up like crazy after my dad died about a year and a half ago. I now have these "episodes," lasting a few weeks or a month or sometimes longer, where it's exceedingly difficult to function because my anxiety level is through the roof. I'm always convinced that I have some kind of tumor or severe illness, when--rationally speaking--in all likelihood there's nothing physically wrong with me.

The past month or two has been a good example. I had a lot of brain fog (which I think I'm starting to move past), and recently have had a lot of "mental fatigue" (my brain feels tired all day and I have dark circles under my eyes, but as far as I can tell I'm sleeping 8 hours per night without issue). I keep Googling the symptoms of Cushing's disease, anemia, and obstructive sleep apnea, because I can't stop worrying that I have one of these conditions. This makes my anxiety worse, and that makes me feel physically worse, and...so on.

I feel so mentally/emotionally exhausted. I hate living like this. (Note: Am not suicidal.) Sometimes at night my cortisol levels will dip enough for me to feel semi-normal (I know that cortisol levels are lowest at night). I am tired of feeling mentally wiped out, and I am tired of constantly thinking that I have Cushing's disease.

Does anyone else have anxiety, particularly health anxiety, that is so debilitating that it causes physical symptoms like this? This is fucking exhausting.

I'm on Klonopin and Lexapro...they help a bit, I think. I'd hate to see what I'm like without them.

Before my dad died, I was much closer to normal...my health anxiety wasn't the insurmountable burden that it is now.