Moderate to severe depression. A week into my new meds and I started experiencing suicidal thoughts as a side effect. I have to stop taking them now. I want to give up. I wanted to die so badly today and I know it was the meds but still. If I hadn’t been at work I would have done it. I planned it all out in my head and everything. I hate all of this so fucking much. I hate myself. How much longer do I have to suffer.