The past few months I’ve felt suspended in time, like I’m not apart of this realm. I’m just watching things happen to myself without any control over it. My depression has worsened immensely as I get closer to finishing school with no idea of what I’m doing. I’ve been working so much I am experiencing such intense burnout that my body is reacting to stress terribly and I’ve been to hospital multiple times in the past three months. I keep pretending that I am fine and doing poorly at it. My friends give me good advice and my boyfriend says he loves me ….. it’s the first time I’ve had a support system. It makes me feel like a bad person when I self harm, all the people I would hurt in the process of ending my own life. Yet I do think life moves at such a fast pace that they’d be able to move on if I decided to do it. I feel bad taking my life for granted, I know it’s a beautiful thing. I just think it was a mistake for me to have life. I’ve never appreciated it enough