This was a big reason in my development of bpd i believe. And still whenever i get ignored (by anyone) even when it is not real like they’re just doing their own thing and i am misinterpreting it to be personal i feel gutted. So much of daily living feels like a rejection and i find it so difficult trying to distinguish when it is real and when it isn’t but this was not the point i was trying to make here. 

I am over 21 years old, is it illogical for me to still feel pain when my mother does not listen to me? Especially after all this self-exploration that happened after getting my diagnosis (i.e. me being sensitive to rejection even when it is not intended)? Does she still owe me her attention now that i am an adult or am i just projecting the pain of my inner child because i haven’t healed her yet? I am tired of being angry (and yelling at myself for it).