I'm venting, so I apologize in advance.

I'm going through a really hard breakup and my mental health is just fucking out of control.

First off, I stay up until 6am and sleep until 6pm. I don't do anything during the day, and if I say I'm going to, I won't. I just don't care about anything anymore.

I forget to eat most days, or if I do remember, I'm just not hungry. I'm always tired, and feel like a zombie.
My room is littered with garbage and I haven't taken out my trash in my bathroom in months. There's moldy coffee cups all over my room and i don't even care.

My life has really taken a shit turn. My mom tried to kill her self back in January and I was told that event gave me ptsd. She then left my dad so me and him moved together and now he's seeing some chick that he gives all his money to and she's a bitch to me.

But my mom is a raging alcoholic who refuses to get help so staying with her is just as bad. I had a pretty good relationship with my sister but I think since my breakup and my real decline in my mental health, she can't handle it anymore and we barely talk. She never skypes me my niece and I feel like it's too much for her to talk to me anymore.

My friends are really all I have but I can tell they are tired of hearing the same shit over and over too. I have tried DBT therapy but it's dumb how they do it where I go and I don't get a one on one therapist until I complete phase 1, which is supposed to be 4 weeks.

Well, today DBT canceled so now I have to wait an extra week for a therapist and honestly this entire time I have been saying I can't do it and now I just feel completely hopeless. I've been missing my ex like fucking crazy this past week and I just want him back. I can't sleep I can't eat I can't function anymore. I keep getting denied for health insurance and that is also adding to my stress.

I'm at my wits end. I want to kill my self out of hopelessness because everything seems so out of my control I can't handle it anymore.

I'm fucking tired.