I want it all to end right now. They found a tumor, or something of the sort, in my dad's head and I don't know what to do. I was planning on killing myself today but I also want to spend as much time with my dad, because despite the fact that we don't know if it's cancerous or not, it's fucking terrifying knowing that any interaction with him might be my last. I hate the fact that everytime I make a resolve to end it, something comes up. I'm tired.