I am bipolar male with ocd and can get very impulsive at times, I was sexually abused by a guy when I was drunk so I technically provided consent. I attempted suicide and almost completed it after the sexual abuse. I have dated women since I was 14 and am 27 but ever since my homosexual experience I am very insecure, have no self-esteem, and feel like I am hiding something. I was not even curious about the same sex until I was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia after a bad break up with a woman. I even masterbate to the abuse sometimes. I am 250 days sober and moved to a more accepting city (from a small rural town) but I still get a lot of shit from people about me
being closeted. It really hurts especially when I’m trying to recover from my dual diagnosis. I find women attractive and ultimately want a relationship with a nice women. I am very driven and a good person but I have been in and out of treatment facilities trying to get help from my dual disorder but my location and income I am around a lot of ignorant people. I don’t even know how to explain I’m just wondering about advice.