My boyfriend/FP had a big fight last night and I thought he was going to leave me. I showed up at his doorstep in tears and cried for hours. We talked and realized we had unrealistic expectations at the time while both being crazy busy being full time students while working. I’m just scared that he isn’t being honest and only decided to stay because of my crying and the constant potential for a suicide attempt. He has been the one person to talk me down for several years and I don’t know what I would do without him. 

In January I will be moving to an hour away from him for school. I know it’s just an hour, but he works multiple jobs on top of school and we will both be very busy. I worry he won’t have time for me and there will be a falling out. 

I know relationships are work, but it’s so hard to work on a relationship when I also have to work on myself during massive time constraints. It also seems that every time I think my medication is working, I realize it isn’t 2 weeks later. 

Maybe I’m worrying for no reason. School is stressful. Work in retail during the holidays is soul crushing at best. My psychiatrist and I are still on the fence for adding Bipolar 2 to my list, so I don’t even know who I am at this point. I just keep crying myself to sleep.