I’m not trying to be edgy or use this as some kinda masked cry for help, I’m just genuinely trying to understand why it’s a thing that every time I make a post or something about being suicidal, people always seem to wanna prevent me from doing anything about it. Why?  What’s so bad about it? What difference does it even make, realistically? I really don’t get it.

I don’t have anyone I’d be leaving behind that would suffer because of it, lived my entire life as a very solitary person and have nothing really to do with my family and haven’t for a long time now. And it’s not like I’m so like crucial pillar of the community and the world would crumble and burn without me in it. No one would even notice, it would change exactly nothing about anyone’s lives. 

And people are gonna say it’s just my belief and I’m sure people are gonna disagree just cause of how they need to see the world in order to tolerate living in it, but there’s absolutely zero evidence to suggest that everyone has a “purpose” or “everything happens for a reason” or any of those other hopeful platitudes. It’s just people who wanna believe that things will always get better or find their place, but millions upon millions of people never do, they just live and then they die and at no point during that time did they achieve any kind of purpose or reach any state of existential fulfilment. They just lived, then they died and that was that.

So no friends, no family, or anyone else to leave behind, no real reason to be here outside of that either, no destiny or predetermined purpose I need to see through, and I’m also really not having a good time. So if I was to up and decide tomorrow that I’ve seen and done enough, why does that even matter?