
I always wanted to be strong and optimistic especially around my friends and family so they have someone to lean on but the truth is I know my mental is unstable. I constantly overthink about situations and sometimes doubt the people around me, I am always stressed at the smallest things down to the detail and even wonder if my friends are fake to me. I usually try remind myself that there is absolutely no reason they would do this especially after being friends for years but I hate that my brain creates possibilities and always thinks of the worst situations possible. This made me more and more closed as a person sometimes even unintentionally cold to others. I have a hard time making new friends now as I feel as if I constantly need reassurance or else I just fall apart. I honestly cant sleep without listening to like a podcast or just someone talking because if I am alone not doing anything my brain automatically overthinks situations randomly and I end up crying or not sleeping at all. I really want to be more confident like I used to be but I feel as if it is out of reach. I know a lot of these are just problems that my mind makes but I can’t make it stop, please I just want to sleep peacefully for 1 night.