Recently I have really been struggling. My mental health has been in the gutter and I'm really finding it hard to cope with and control or regulate my intense emotions. 
I have noticed myself having more angry outbursts and that's a direct result of my child being very difficult as of recent. I don't want to do anything to make my child unhappy and I absolutely do not mean or intend to be that shouty parent who just yells all the time as it breaks my heart and fills me with such intense guilt and shame.
I've been having a lot more suicidal thoughts and thoughts of harming myself and I don't want that ever to be seen by my child.
I'd hate to be the parent who scars their child due to their own poor MH but I feel so out of control and emotionally unstable.