My dad is some kind of narcissist, maybe something more. Along with all the symptoms of NPD, he's always extremely violent and obsessed with me. I keep socially withdrawing and sometimes I know why. I feel disconnected from people but other times I wonder why I do it. 

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I need and want friends but I feel like my childhood makes me feel disconnected from people.  It was SO abnormal. Is it normal to score a 9 on an ACE test? I want to at least be close to family but I'm disconnected from them too! My cousins seem so normal and I just feel so anxious and it makes me feel so worn out and depressed and like a burden. And it's embarrassing being depressed.