Firstly, I'd like to start out by saying that I have not been officially diagnosed. I don't want to self-diagnose, but I do not have the money to go talk to a professional right now. I feel as though I probably have BPD. If this upsets you, I understand, but please just move on.

I adopted a cat about 3 weeks ago. Things were going great. She's friendly, she's playful, she's cuddly. I got her to be an emotional support animal (for my depression and anxiety). I just moved back into my college apartment after being quarantined in my parents' house for 5 months. My parents are abusive, so I was still dealing with being under their roof for that long. They also have 4 cats that I love dearly and I knew I was going to be sad and lonely without them. So when I got my cat, it was perfect. I didn't miss my cats back home. I wasn't lonely. 

But now, 3 weeks later, I feel nothing. She wants my attention and I don't want to give it to her. I still take care of her, and try to love on her. I have a heart, after all. But I can tell she can tell something's off. The idea of having to take care of and pay to take care of this thing that I feel nothing more than mild annoyance towards for years is filling me with dread. And I feel SO bad. She is such a sweet cat, and deserves all the love. 

I hope hoping I'm just going through a mood and things will go back to normal. Does anyone else experience this with pets? Or even people? Do these feelings of apathy go away eventually? Or am I just a horrible human being?