I have cold/flu symptoms right now.  Nothing serious.  Lots of congestion, bad headache, cough and tired. 

I feel so bad when days and days go by and I haven't gotten what I needed to get done done. I feel bad about myself and have anxiety because I need to work etc. But being sick means I don't have to be productive.  Society says it's OK to take it easy if you're physically ill when you have observable or measurable symptoms. I don't have to be mad at myself for not getting as much as I should done. It's a peaceful feeling. There's a reason I'm not doing stuff. It's not that I'm a lazy, depressed, and defective. I'm sick. 

Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm sick or depressed. They feel similar to me. I only know for sure when I have observable or measurable symptoms. 

Before Covid I worked at a business (now I work for myself from home). I called in sick to work zero times in over a decade. Going to work sick or injured is usually much easier than going to work when having bad depression or anxiety. Broken bone, lost voice, cant stop coughing (pre-Covid), day after surgery (when you're supposed to stay in bed and not move for a week) etc easier than a depressed day. Much, much easier. 

I really felt like this when I had Covid. I got tested. I'm positive. I even have a piece of paper to prove it. I'm supposed to stay home and take it easy. It's allowed. I had "permission" to not get anything done. It felt really good. 

I wish there was a test for depression. Not a self reported one. A medical test that measures something.  Something you could show people. My sister is really condescending. She just likes to think I'm a loser. Maybe I am.