Honestly, nothing EVER works out. It doesnt fcking matter how often I stand up again and again and again and try to suceed, just to get kicked down again. 

I am going to the gym regularly, I have a decent paying job, I fought so hard for these things, yet it doesnt do JACKSHIT for me. I am still unattractive being 5'7 and get rejected over and over again. Why even try anymore? 

In the gym I am stuck benching 80kg for like 7-10 reps depending on the day but I just cant seem to get stronger, probably could if I ate everything in sight but don't want to turn into a fat blob. (Already sitting at 18-20 %bf). This is also extremely discouraging, putting in so much work but shit genetics.

Whenever I try to make some extra money investing in stocks these stocks tank, and when I sell they increase the next day. Seriously it happens for all the time, I am so sick of this life, I am a born loser and that's it. I was "blessed" with never having to put in any effort in school and university but what did I make of it? I transformed into a lazy guy who never put in any effort in anything. Now I have been trying to change it but the world just keeps saying: F You!

Constantly feeling like dogshit every day, anhedonia, no will to live, not looking forward to ANYTHING, cut off social contacts more and more, what is there to live for? Working every day just to come home in my empty apartment and jerk off the whole evening? Oh yea, addicted to porn as well. Great. Even went for some escorts because I never get any girl, but that even destroys my confidence even more.. sigh. What a miserable existence, I know many people would love to have what I do but what good does it for me if I just feel like killing myself 90% of the time, and if I dont, I feel like shit too.

Sorry for the rant. Fuck this life.