There’s a lot going on in my life right now and I feel like I just need to spew everything into the universe so here it goes. 

This week was finals week and I am glad the semester is over but everyone I know is graduating and I am not and even though I chose not to graduate and I don’t regret that decision I still can’t help but wonder what it would have been like to have graduation tomorrow and to be celebrating. 

I just found out I have to move in a week and I thought I wasn’t moving for 2.5 weeks so I’m a little stressed about packing especially because my room is an absolute pigsty. 

My room is a pigsty because between finals and health issues I couldn’t clean it but then I found an apple juice I left out grew mold and I have kind of an extreme disgust towards mold like it grosses me out to my core I can’t even look at it so I went and dumped this apple juice down the sink thinking it’s a liquid but the mold is solid so now there is a clump of mold sitting in my sink and I can’t look at it let alone touch it and it won’t wash down because the sink is clogged with gross food and I have an extreme disgust towards soggy food like if I have to touch soggy food I will retch especially if I don’t know what that food is so no I have a clogged kitchen sink with soggy food and mold. And I’m supposed to have the kitchen clean. 

I told my roommate I would clean the kitchen because she tends to stress clean and so she always does way more cleaning then the rest of us and I feel bad so I wanted to pull my weight and clean the kitchen but then the sink debacle happened and to make things worse we ran out of dish soap so there’s a pile of dirty dishes that can’t be cleaned until we get more soap. 

And now I’m back in my room and I’m thirsty as fuck but every time I try to drink water my brain imagines the mold and now I’m like what else could be moldy in my room I don’t even want to think about it! 

And I just got a job and I’m trying to get a second job but I have health issues that make me feel like this will be impossible but I desperately need the money! 

Anyway I am going to try to destress by playing the sims and just forget my life exists.