I know that they’re “just me”. I know all those personalities in my mind, those voices in there... I know that ultimately it’s pieces of myself. But can’t I talk to them like other people? I mean, it would be treating myself like a person in the end.

I don’t know if anybody else with BPD deals with this but I’ve sort of split myself into pieces to handle the serious amounts of stress my emotions put me through. These pieces have their own mannerisms and speech patterns, their own likes and dislikes. And though in those moments the dissociation feels as though these people are sticking their arm through me, I don’t ever lose memory. I’m just stuck there feeling like myself but not myself, while some jackass piece of me decides he wants to make some tea and watch Netflix. Motherfucker i am right here, stop rubbing I’m your autonomy in my face.

I have them names because it helps me keep track of them, and I commonly encounter them while writing because that’s just who they are naturally. But for the love of God the dissociation can be exhausting, as though I’ve been channeling something from the beyond...

Anyone else deal with anything remotely similar? Do they have names? Do they speak in their own thinking voice like you would when thinking? Does it sound different?

Am I going nuts?