I feel like I wake up for nothing. I lost hope and don't have any goals. all the energy that I had was gone, without my ADHD meds, I wouldn't move at all from my bed. I feel extreme pain inside my heart as if my heart is broken that's a lot, I feel I'm too young for all of this.  

all my curiosity about the field I liked the most evaporated. I feel I've no purpose. and I gain my value and happiness from what I achieve and I'm so hooked up about giving and productivity and this OCPD mindset that I couldn't resist.
 I was facing a huge amount of blame every day from everywhere at school, at home, outside, and even in my head till I've diagnosed with adult ADHD. 

I want to end this suffering for real. I feel tomorrow is gonna be more painful than now.