Don't know how to describe myself from 1-10 but I'm feeling just not the best. Having lovesickness and on top of that feeling the grief and loss of my mother is not really a great mix. 

I just feel like my life really fucking sucks. It's up and down and I know I'm suppose to tackle it every single time but I let fear get the best of me and all that jazz. So many of these posts I created of me venting and I just can't. I know they don't help me but only for the given moment and I choose not to take advice even though they definitely will help me lol even though I know I want to but making excuses.