 recently I've been experiencing horrible thoughts of nihilism. These painful feelings that nothing truly matters. Why go to work when the earth will be engulfed by the sun in a million years? Why care for anything when we all just end up dead and forgotten? All I see is how miserable everyone is. I hear the older adults in my life only looking forward to the weekend, and when it arrives, all they do is complain about chores that they have or work in two days. Are we all okay with this world we have created. I'm not. And I know I can't change it. But I can take myself out if it. The grief and suffering I cause my family won't last more than a few decades and won't matter in the end. I also know that I'm not the first person to feel this and I'm not special for thinking this way. I just don't want to live anymore.