I'm having a little bit of a meltdown right now, so I'm probably not that coherent. But I've been trying to figure out how to word the way I feel all the time.

I don't mean that I don't love or feel love for other people. I do. What I mean is that even when people tell me they love me, or even something more shallow, like that I'm beautiful, they're usually just words to me. I can't feel the emotion they're trying to convey. If I see someone else who gets this kind of love and attention, I get sad and jealous, because I want to be told those things too. But then when I am, I just can't feel it.

It's better when someone shows me they love me in a physical way - hugging, kissing, etc. But it never lasts. As soon as they're gone, it's like I can't feel that they love me anymore. Like it's never enough.