Hi there, I'm a 20 year old female living with BPD. I can be very irrational, I worry a lot about the future, I use to cut myself until my fingers turned green (not anymore thank God, though I get the urge to still), I feel alone a lot, I hold a lot of anger and pain inside, sometimes I just want to give up. I feel a lot of the time I'm going in a circle and I'm constantly up and down on my emotions and I wish it would stop already. I feel like I'm 2 different people, my true self that is awesome and is super talented and happy, and then this angry bitter soul full of hate that fails at everything and always does the wrong thing. I'm not really sure what I want to do with my life, I have a great boyfriend who puts up with me and is extremely understanding. It does feel a bit better to realize and take note of my behavior but at times it only fuels to the struggle that endures within me. Sorry for the random rant, just needed to type! 