Was anyone else in denial at first?

Hello,
I was very recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I never really thought I was bipolar until a friend of mine suggested that I may be dealing with hypomania this past summer. 
When I was told my diagnosis, I was taken aback. I never in a million years would’ve guessed that I was actually bipolar. Now I’m learning more and more about myself and I guess I’m starting to put the pieces together. 

-I have always randomly gotten into severe depressions that led me to self harm. 

-My thoughts race constantly (I actually don’t know if it is placebo or not but I took my mood stabilizer last night and For the first time, I could actually just lay in bed in peace) 

-I do like to blow money, I’ve never been able to save no matter how much money I make. 

- sometimes, I cannot shut the fuck up and I’m sure people think I’m annoying but at the same time, I am the life of the party. 

-I’ve also noticed that I get the urge to cheat on my partner or move away without telling anyone. 


This is all making more sense to me and I’m just trying to accept the diagnosis and all but I still feel in denial. Did anyone else deal with that? 

I mean, I’ve been this way my entire life and I thought it was normal. 
Will I feel different whenever my meds actually start to kick in? 

I’m just a little nervous