I lash out at people for no reason, I cling to my friends because I'm afraid they'll leave me, I do impulsive risky things such as doing bad quality cocaine with strangers or taking too much molly, drinking from strangers drinks in the club, I feel empty and bored all the time, I think I'm having visual hallucinations again and my emotions and moods are extreme and all over the place. I was on mood stabilizers and it stabilized me but I went off them because I hate how stability feels like. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm seeing my psychiatrist on monday, it's been 3 months and a half I haven't seen him. I am doing worse than ever and I'm not complying with treatment. 