Hey all,

I mostly just lurk in this sub, but I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to slow myself down so that I don’t sabotage a potentially good relationship. 

I’m kinda talking to an old high school friend, and I think he’s really cute and sweet and we get along pretty well. But, like, we’ve just reconnected, and I don’t wanna rush things. But I also want to rush things, you feel me? 

Idk. I’m trying to rationalize with myself that it would be better for me (in general and in trying to pursue a relationship with him) if I step off and let things grow organically. I LOGICALLY understand this. But it’s also incredibly difficult to let go of the cognitive distortions and I just want to throw all of myself into this so that I (A) either get exactly what I want, or (B) prove to myself that I’m worthless (?). 

Which seems awful and dumb, but something about my experience with this disorder keeps repeating the pattern of sabotaging things. 

TL;DR: I guess my big fear is that he’s not going to put in the effort to maintain some kind of connection if I don’t chase him. Which could be true. But I’m also afraid that by chasing him, I’ll chase him away. 

Ugh someone help.