TW: brief description of suicidal thoughts

My mother started a new job she hates. Her boss treats her like shit, doesn't teach her the job and all that kind of stuff. 
It's been a month she's been coming home from work screaming, venting, complaining and crying all the time everyday. I tried to listen to her at first but I am not able to do it anymore. 

She's spent my childhood teaching me not to cry, she used to punish me for crying. 
Hearing her loudly cry all the time makes me so anxious, both because of emphaty and because it remembers me all those punishments and other feelings I can't define.
I'm feeling worse everyday, my hands are shaking all the time and I feel I can't breathe. 
I started avoiding her, lock me up in my room as much time as possible. 

It's been a few days that I've been having bad thoughts, but it only happens when she's crying or venting. I dissociate and feel like throwing myself out of my window. That scared me. 

What do I do? 
I can't totally avoid her and I feel like an asshole for doing it. But her situation is messing me up.