I cannot stand how I act around my FP. I’m a completely different person. I am emotionally and verbally abusive. I’m controlling and manipulative and I feel out of control over the tiniest things. If she ignores me it feels like my world is ending and I feel worthless and like no one cares about me. I’m afraid that I’m going to start behaving this way with my other loved ones and it terrifies me because if I do the shame and guilt will simply be too much for me to handle. I genuinely don’t see why I should continue in this life if I’m going to ever treat my mom that way. I would not be able to live with myself.