Also, sometimes I think my friends will say I'm blowing things out of proportion when I bring up issues to make me shut up but I never know. 
I feel crazy when anyone points it out and I already have anxiety bringing up anything even if I think it should be brought up or if something's bothering me but even typing this I feel like I'm playing victim. 

Well, I hate myself for it anyways and my self destructive patterns have already begun. I'll hurt myself in no time no matter how small the situation is, it's ten times bigger in my head and a bigger reason to punish myself for it. 