Hi thought I could post this looking for some advice. I’m at a really weird crossroads and it’s giving me a lot of weird and bad anxiety and maybe some advice. It just feels like I’m stuck in a long-term, high stress life situation and I’m having a tough time getting through it and I’m sure I’m not alone. 

My current situation is I am working full time at a job that is kind of stressful. It’s not what I want to do or makes me happy but it pays the bills - for the most part. Ive been out of college for 3 years. I moved out my parents recently (they can be toxic sometimes) for my mental health and to be closer in commute (had a two hour one way commute at times) even though it has helped me tremendously, I can barely save with living in my apt. I also just got into what I consider a dream school and dream opportunity but it’s giving me a lot of anxiety because it’s adding on $50k + to my already 80k of student loan debt. I also have a lot of credit card debt that I’m trying to pay down and due to reasons of the past... living super far, my leased car is over on miles already and it’s up in December (long story but it was not my choice to lease this car but I’m stuck with the payments) I’ve taken antidepressants and hated them. I don’t want to want live this stressed out and I am even considering enrolling out of grad school before it begins cause I worry about becoming more stressed and stressed financially-but I don’t want to do that. I also dislike where I live a lot but I cannot afford to change it right now so I’m just stuck. My whole situation wasn’t something I expected and it’s already has caused me a lot of mental anguish and stress. I ask for advice from people that know my situation... the only thing that works for me is just handling my day to day but it prevents me from planning for a stable future without having anxiety and it just makes me feel unhappy. It sucks because I’m surrounded by so many people who don’t have these issues to this extent and don’t know what to do. sos?

I’ve done so many things already in the past three years to help myself, like work multiple jobs, have side hustles... it’s just that I feel like this is something I’ll have to deal with for a long time to stay afloat and I don’t want to be 50 to finally feel like I can do something other than work ugh idk if I’m just fearing too much but it’s mentally exhausting and effecting me in many different ways.