We’ve only been together like less than 2 months. I’ve been needing reassurance a lot lately, because I’m always thinking she doesn’t like me. But I honestly just can’t tell sometimes, she’s not very words-of-affirmation-y, and that is HUGE for me, definitely my main love language. So it just makes me feel unsure how she feels about me. I need her to clearly say how she feels. I had a moment of insecurity the other night and asked for reassurance again that she does actually like me. I felt bad for doubting her again so I told her that I have BPD and fear of abandonment issues, and that’s why I need reassurance sometimes. 

The next night she said it’s bothering her and freaking her out that I have BPD. Her ex had mental health issues, never took his meds, could never hold a job in their whole 12 year relationship. He was extremely abusive to her. So I understand her fears of going through that again. However I’m nothing like him. I don’t even know if he had BPD, I just know he had bipolar. 

I take my meds daily. I’ve been to years of therapy, including DBT. I have a really good job and I’ve only called in once this whole year, and that was because I had covid symptoms. I genuinely wouldn’t hurt a fly and I’ve worked extremely hard to get better since I was diagnosed, which was when I was at my rock bottom. 

She said people with mental health issues are almost always selfish, even if they don’t mean to be. And that she doesn’t want to walk on eggshells and go through all the turmoil her ex put her through. She said it’s almost harder to live with someone with mental health issues than having the issues yourself, because you see how it affects everyone else and you’re left to “pick up the pieces.” (I totally disagree with this statement btw)

I’m hurt that my diagnosis alone is enough for her to write me off as selfish and equate me to her abusive narcissistic ex. I don’t think it’s fair to lump every mentally ill person together. Having a mental illness doesn’t make you a bad person, being a bad person makes you a bad person. I’m so heartbroken right now. 💔