I went shopping with my friends yesterday, I felt really bad, and due to someone being present it was getting even worse. After I bought everything I needed, I decided to wait for everyone downstairs near the entrance. I started feeling even worse and went to quickly  cut myself, but it wasn't enough so I told my friends I have to go home and went that way. But halfway through suicidal thoughts took over so I turned and found an abandoned place with nobody around and some broken bottles. I took the glass and decided to kill myself. As I was about to cut my vein, my best friend called, and I took control again, sent my location and tried to stop cutting myself. Now I feel extreme guilt, that I wanted to leave everything and everyone I care about. I also feel this way, because my friends blame themselves but I don't think they did anything wrong. I don't know what to do, I'm lost. My medication improved my daily activities but the suicidal thoughts are getting worse.