i'm honestly just really exhausted of life. i have these tiny fleeting moments (mood swings) where i feel almost okay before the extreme sad takes over again. rationally I KNOW so so many things are going to be "ok" but i can't help spending all my time worrying if my boyfriend is going to leave me if my friends are really my friends. i feel so empty all the time and i can't stop shopping/eating. i just feel like something bad is going to happen all the time.

i am in DBT and i try SO SO SO hard to be good and have "healthy habits". i go to the gym i cook food i read i volunteer with the homeless. I TRY SO HARD WHY AM I STILL BROKEN. I just want to feel NORMAL. I want to stop flittering from mood to mood and stop the chaos and just feel ok.