Long story, lots of ins and outs, I'll keep it as simple as I can.

Came out as bi sexual a few months ago, my best friend has a huge dick and I told him I'd totally put that in my mouth. Told him it's fine if he doesn't want to, but I want to talk about it and share my feelings. He pretty much ignored me, so I told him anyway, that just pushed him away further. I definitely freaked the fuck out and have been contemplating suicide for a while now (like everyday). 

Just about everyday I dwell on the fact that my best friend hates me now. He (and I) play this game where when we are around other people we act like everything is fine, yet if I am able to get into a conversation with just him he becomes an asshole and just shits all over anything I say.

There is a lot more, I need to go to class so I'll come update this later maybe. I keep going back and forth from he sucks and I am awesome and I should never talk to him again, to I was wrong and I am piece of shit and there no way I could actually make it in this world and I should just end it. Not good.