Being depressed just makes me constantly crave sleep and I am always tired. I forced myself to act normal. I forced myself to be more social.I forced myself to drink and do weed. I forced myself to act like everything is fine.

I thought that if I continued this act I would one day be happy. But it still hasn't happened, I  am still depressed and fully burnt out. Suicide was always in my mind, but just never acted on it. Now I just finished writing my suicide note and I unconsciously smiled. I am not ending myself today, but I plan to do it soon. I just want to be released from this pain.

The one regret I will have is that I wish I had someone that loved me. But I guess death will be my companion.