I had started doing dbt therapy and the sessions are $130CAD which is a lot and my mom was okay with paying for it because I wasn’t handling my diagnosis well and I had been basically isolated for about a year and a half with the exception of seeing my boyfriend everyday/every other day and my dads insurance payed for 80% of it, so I did a couple of sessions maybe about 4-5 and I felt like it was starting to work because I was getting better at dealing with some of my bigger triggers that I didn’t realize were triggers and was starting to be a better partner and be less impulsive, however it’s now an issue that my therapist has social worker credentials and not therapist/psychologist credentials and I had to tell her that I can’t continue with the therapy, my mom apologized and told me that I could do one more session with her (she knows I’ve gotten attached to my therapist) and I said I’d rather not I’d rather just text her asap telling her I can’t continue working with her, I told my boyfriend and I don’t think he took the news well, I think he thinks I’m gonna go crazy and just keep getting worse, I feel bad and shitty and I kind of want to curl up into a ball but I can’t, I have to work I do full time at 17 years old, I feel like I’m about to break under all the stress, I am anxious about my future in all aspects and I feel alone I feel like no one gets it, I can’t even tell if I’m feeling real emotions or if I’m manipulating myself into thinking I am so I have an excuse for isolating and getting depressed? Everything I do is wrong and I’m so overwhelmed right now I feel like I can’t catch my breath, I want to be comfortable and happy and I feel like that goal is so far like everytime I get closer and closer something happens I don’t think I’ll ever find peace with myself I am so alone and frustrated and I’m gaining weight because of all my nightly binges I just wish I wasn’t myself right now and yeah