i cant believe i’ve been sober for this long. i actually cant believe it. i hadn’t even thought about it until now. and i think i feel genuinely proud. for the first time i can remember, i feel happy that i’ve done something. 

during the last 83 days, i can’t even begin to count how many times i considered getting into drugs again. how much i craved something in my system. but somehow, i didn’t do anything. how in the fuck is that even possible? 

things have been the most hard they’ve been in ages. i have no idea how i’ve pulled through sober. i’m still scared i’ll relapse, i really am and honestly it feels inevitable but for now, i’ll cherish this. i still crave stuff all the time and it’s okay. i’m trying to be better. 

to whoever’s reading this. whether you’re sober or not, i’m so so so proud of you. thank you for staying another day. i believe in you and you can do this.