hey guys,

I've got my own problems obviously and sometimes I have trouble keeping myself alive and going to university classes etc. basic things can be tough but I'm trying to do my best and honestly I'm pretty okay with my progress. with everything going on I kinda stopped hanging out with people, it's easier this way and I can focus on myself. it's not like I don't want company at all it's just I feel I'm currently not in the place to have people rely on me and I don't want to be a burden to anyone either (I'm not exaggerating, I really could be a burden sometimes).

if someone asks for help or want to hang out I won't say no but I'm trying to keep a distance. well, there's a boy who's having a really hard time now, he's unemployed, his mental illnesses are really being hard on him rn and I really feel sorry for him but I just can't help him, why he thinks I could? I told him this but he keeps texting me really serious stuff like he's hearing voices again and his doctor wants to send him back to the hospital, he quit a job again etc. and it's just like wtf should I do??? I keep telling him that I can't make this decision for him but I really think he should go to that hospital, I know they won't help him much there but it's more than I can do, yet he keeps texting me and idk he should have realized by now that I can't help him, I'm too busy helping myself, KEEPING ALIVE myself is my number one task and I just don't have energy to keep the spirit in others too.. I feel sorry for him, I feel guilty, we were never really close so if he's texting me that means he got basically noone but I can't be there for him because that would cost my progress and my life.

now I'm ghosting him, he basically just texts me his smyptoms daily ("I have nightmares again" etc), I don't reply because I don't know what should I write back? "I'm sorry about that, go see your doctor"? his answer would be again "maybe I should I don't know I'm lost"

so yeah it's really cruel but I'm ghosting him yet he keeps texting me..

at one point I invited him to go see a movie with me, that could help him maybe, cinemas are therapeutic for me and we can hang out a little, he refused, he doesn't feel like going out... so I don't have right answers or right advices and I'm tired to try to help him, yet I feel guilty for abandoning him at his worst because I know that feels terrible but now I kinda understand why people abandoned me when I was in the position like him rn