I've struggled with alcohol and drug use/abuse pretty much since I was 15 or 16. Mostly to get out of my head or whatever. Y'all know what I'm talking about.

Consequently I've been to my fair share of AA and NA meetings. And basically there's always at least one person at every meeting who says something along the lines of "I never felt like I belonged, a piece of me was always missing, until I stepped through these doors." 

I always wanted to relate to that because for as long as I can remember being able to mentally feel that way, I've felt like something is missing. That something everyone else inherently has I am somehow lacking. Shallow. Hollow. Like there's a void in my soul that is all-consuming and insatiable. 

But like, meetings don't do it. Friends don't do it (not consistently anyway). Hobbies don't do it. And when I finally find someone who I think is that perfect puzzle piece, my fucking idea of them is so crazy-amazing no one can ever live up to it and then I'm once again left with this whole I can't fill.

TL/DR: I love this community. Yeah, I still feel empty all the fucking time. But at least I can pretend I'm reaching out to people who actually get it. So thanks.