My condition is getting worse every day Im barely even hungry anymore I don't go out much and every time I try and get sick my sleep schedule is getting out of control and Noone but my best friend gives a shit not my dad especially not my mom she's the one  who started my decline into self hatred I constantly feel like I can't say anything because Noone will care at this point and even if I could afford therapy I couldn't say my problems to a therapist until all my siblings are 18 or older which mind you won't be for 17 years and I'm gonna be honest not even I can withstand myself like this for that long hell I give it at max 10 years before I'm completely broken so hears to the next 10 years then amiright but for real I joke around because it's all I have left I'm not even here looking for support because only I know how much words even mean to me anymore honestly I just want to see if anyone else has any stories similar to your own mother saying the your the reason abortions exist or your father saying that your a mistake 
Thanks for reading this if you did I just turned 18 and I thought I was prepared for this but at this point I'm pretty sure this isn't adulthood and this is just my parents regretting having me in the first place so with that I say fuck you brie and earl (those are my parents names)



P.S. I'm not doing drugs so don't ask and I will never do drugs I may die in 10 years to my self hatred but I will not start doing any sort of drugs or drinking alcohol



P.P.S I know that's sounds like an insult to people that do I assure you it isn't I'm just saying that in the most joking manner I can to make me laugh sorry