
Just within the last month I’ve changed my hair over 5 times. One week I rock braids, the next week I rock a pixie cut, then the next week I decide to wear an afro, then the next week I decide I want a long straight weave, all because I’m unsure of what identity I want to mask with next. I’m currently a junior in college and changed my major over 6 times. I’ve also convinced myself this past year that I wanted to be a figure skater, so I dropped so much money for lessons, skates, and apparel, just to eventually realize that that wasn’t the identity I wanted to pursue. Instead, I thought that I wanted to be a tennis player, so I spent an entire week researching and shopping for tennis. A week after this, I decided that I wanted to do ballet, so I dropped so much money on ballet attire. 

Recently I told my therapist that I was unhappy at my current college and wanted to transfer to a different college for my last two years. So, I applied at two other colleges, and change my mind every week on which college I would like to attend (there’s even days that I think about staying at my current college). 

Making decisions on my life, and finding an identity has been stressing me out so much lately. I become so convinced that certain things are my “destiny”, that I spend loads of money on it, just to realize that that wasn’t my “destiny” or a part of my identity.

This is all that goes on in my head. I create these vision boards and shop for things based on whatever persona I’m obsessed with at the moment. I change my interests and my physical appearance so often , I feel like I’m loosing myself.

I’m currently isolating myself from my friends and potential romantic interests, because I’m completely unsure of which version of me attracted them to me.


Will medication help with this? I’m currently on 20 mg cymbalta, but I feel like it kind of stopped working idk… I’m really worried about my future