I’m 17 and already have a fairly severe phobia of being home alone overall-I’ve been stuck at home because of the obvious quarantine while my parents and sibling’s schedules all align twice a week to leave me completely on my own. Those days always start the night before as I often don’t go to sleep at all because I can’t calm down thinking about the next day and I need to make sure I’m up when my sibling leaves around 6 to check the doors and locks or else I panic a bit. Doing that does lessen the fear a bit to the point where I can now manage to sleep a bit during the day when on my own. 


My mom got a semi once in a lifetime hiking opportunity because someone got covid and cancelled their reservations and initially my grandmother was going to come down to our house for a bit while she was gone. Over the weekend my grandmother ended up being hospitalized (she is okay thankfully) but that meant she couldn’t drive down here. Meaning my 13yo sibling and I are on our own for three days and two nights. 


Today was mostly okay but now it’s the first night and I don’t know how to handle it. I did my usual checking the doors and windows, I turned on extra lights in the house facing the street, I turned on the downstairs tv, and I have my window shutters cracked with the brightness on my laptop all the way up with a show on so it’s fairly evident that at least someone’s home (and to be able to check out my window quickly that also faces the street). All that being said-it still doesn’t feel like enough? I still can’t calm down enough to sleep and I didn’t sleep last night either as my mom only told me yesterday. I don’t know how I’m going to manage tonight or tomorrow night or the days in between and I really feel like I’m losing my mind.