TW- s/h, ED, depression, anxiety, suicide if these make you uncomfortable/trigger you please scroll hope ya feel better

I’m in an awful place I’m about to be 15 and idk what I’m doing anymore but now that it’s summer I can’t hang out with my friends because they wanna swim and my hips are covered in scars and I can’t talk to my parents about it since my dad probably won’t care that much (he’s a good parents just busy providing for a family) and my mom like believes that phones cause every problem and stuff and I really wanna kinda just end everything but I feel super guilty for thinking that and I think my parents are noticing I haven’t been eating but haven’t confronted me about it (my mom literally made jokes about be not eating before) and I get super anxious all the time and feel super numb and now idk what to do please help