TW: Relatable

I feel like I’m suffocating in anxiety right now and typing this out feels like a temporary reprieve from drowning in it. I’ll enjoy these few moments of my head above the water while I type this out. These are the (or my) stages of anxiety (if you allow anxiety to run it’s course, and not try to curb it with your favorite coping mechanisms). Maybe you can relate.

1.There’s the stage where there’s just a lump-in your throat.

2.Progresses to the point where there’s this feeling of dread/anticipation/fear and it’s at the back of your mind but competing for your attention.

3.And then out of nowhere there’s this sudden turn for the worse. It gets intense pretty fast. To the point where you can’t do or focus on anything as thoughts of anxiety consume your mind and devour your peace. Your whole chest feels warm and tight. That lump in your throat just got bigger, and it almost feels like it’s choking you. Your appetite is curved, if there at all. And you may feel sick, nauseous. 

4.You’ve resorted to canceling your plans, and laying down in the fetal position, remaining stagnant and unmoving. At this point, distracters are useless and you can’t really move even if you wanted to. The contemplations of anxiety flood your psyche unconsciously and consciously, and you’re overwhelmed, wallowing in your thoughts. Even though whatever is making you feel anxious is eating up your mind space, you’re also pondering: what is an appetite? (Ha ha…), Why do I feel sick? How does peace feel again? How do I turn it off? It feels like you’re being eaten alive. And even though your mind is going miles a minute, you also feel dead. Your limbs are heavy and tears periodically flood your eyes. It’s crippling.