TW: ED, depression (duh)

f24 I struggled with depression a lot growing up and had an ED but i’ve completely recovered from my ED a couple years ago. it took about 4 years to face it and recover from it. I love eating, I don’t purposefully starve myself or count calories, etc. and even enjoy watching my body finally fill up after years of being underweight (it did not feel great at first but once I realized what was happening I embraced it).

I do notice that sometimes I get into this dark place where I can’t bring myself to eat though. this could last from a week to months and i feel like overtime it’s becoming more frequent and intense since i moved from home in october. 

I don’t do it on purpose, and I do feel the pain and weakness from hunger but the thought of food just makes me sick. I have no motivation to cook, let alone eat. I don’t even find fast food/any sort of take out appealing and find myself eating leftover snacks with the sole purpose of stopping my stomach from hurting. 

I haven’t had a proper meal in ages and usually wait until before bed to fill my stomach with something so I can sleep without the pain. 

is it common to get to this point? does anyone know if appetite stimulants would work in this case? i’m not on medication and have never been for depression. I also don’t “feel” depressed. I do feel lonely because I work from home and it can get repetitive without seeing friends but I don’t think it’s all that bad, not as bad as it was years ago. 

thank you.