I have been in this relationship for almost 3 years, my longest ever (second one 8 months). I truly love my boyfriend so much and couldn't ask for a better, more supportive person to be in my life. That being said, almost every single month I split and get so overwhelmingly annoyed/upset/angry etc. with him to the point that I make plans to leave him. Before I act always recognize my emotions are irrational by checking the facts because nothing serious happens. The worst situations recently is him saying his head hurts and flaking on a party with me, or just slacking on chores (which he eventually does and helps deep clean). 
I'm calling out to anyone else with BPD and asking if you deal with this, and how do you handle it? Do you have advice? It's really fucking annoying because sometimes I just think to myself how fair this is to either of us but I also know we both love each other and its never permanent. I don't ever take anything out on him, if it's ever bad I'll just sit down with him and ask for reassurance which still makes me feel bad but he's really good at making sure I feel comfortable and never makes me feel crazy.