Don't know why i'm posting this right now but I figured that just getting this out somewhere would help me clear my mind? Please note i'm not looking for an outpouring of support or anyone to give me sympathy i'm mostly just putting this out here as a form of getting these thoughts out of my head so don't feel obligated to comment or up vote this.   


Lately (as in the last month or so) I've noticed my anxiety starting to flair up horribly again. I've been suffering from anxiety and depression for the last 11 or so years but usually my anxiety comes and goes with a peak of  a full on anxiety/panic attack. Lately however (the last 2 weeks in specific) I've noticed this non-stop wave of anxiety I seem to be drowning in that has been culminating into panic/anxiety attacks that leave me with the original feeling of anxiety after I calm down. I don't entirely know what's going on but it has me worried and is slowly starting to destroy me. I find i'm constantly worried about world events and the state of the world, I worry about losing my very loving S/O of 2 years despite that fact that I know they love me more than anything, and even while playing videogames (something that used to be a very good escape for me) I find that I start getting anxious about being bad at the game i'm playing or I get mad at myself for being bad. I know that last one sounds stupid, and it is, but it still effects me and drives me up the wall. I think some of this might spawn from the fact that i've stopped working out and watching my diet which has led to some weight gain and loss of stamina, and I think another part of it is just the way the world has been evolving this year. Either way I keep telling myself that everything is fine and I haven't done anything egregiously wrong but the anxiety remains... Anyway... Writing this out has helped a little. To anyone out there who is also fighting this war inside themselves, stay strong my brothers and sisters, much love.