Anyone feel somewhat jealous or envious of those who have people who care about them or love them even when they're at their worst. It doesn't seem like a reality for me. 

I've started to see a lot of couples who are so in love and cute etc even during the pandemic. I kinda want that but ik that the best thing for me is to stay alone. I have a hate-love relationship with romantic relationships, usually consisting in hate as being in one never lasts and seems like a commitment that is short-lived. I wish people understand those with bdp aren't horrible humans who intentionally hurt others, its no excuse ofc but it would help if people didn't believe every negative paper they read on bpd.