I was talking to my therapist, I get really frustrated that I don’t really have friends in my life, partially because I’m scared to get hurt, and partially because I’m scared I’ll hurt them. Throughout this conversation I was saying “nobody cares”, and at one point she said she cared, so I couldn’t say “nobody” it actually made me angry, but I wasn’t quite sure why until I thought about it after the session... I did know she cared, I could tell, and I didn’t doubt it... BUT it still felt unfair... the one person in my life that I felt like actually cared about me was the one person I can’t have a friendship with, our relationship will always be one sided, I could never call her to come over when I need a friend, I can’t even just hang out and laugh like I would with a regular friend. 

Idk, it just annoys me because the one person who understands me and boundaries is the one person who I can’t be friends with. I actually do have friends that are therapists, but I’m extremely cautious about what I talk to them about because I don’t want to cross the opposite boundary of treating my friends like therapists.

