You have to be able to accept love, accept the effort people put in, and allow it to satisfy you and “count” as real care for you. 
You can’t be a black hole who can’t be helped—give others and yourself a fighting chance to love you.
One way you can solidify the reality of the people love give to you is by establishing a mutual agreement to be accountable to concrete things—emotionally and behaviorally. 
E.g. you can’t call your FP 50 times a day—what about 5 or 10? BEHAVIORALLY: establish a clear concrete agreement to call and get a call 5 times a day. EMOTIONALLY: feel GOOD about it when it happens, and when it doesn’t then you can get angry and hurt by it. 