I'm able to keep myself together and functional for work or family events. I'm still riding an emotional roller coaster while I'm at work or with family / friends, but I'm able to think out how I should be feeling, and try to act and look like I should be feeling. But then when I get home I stop. This is problematic because I'm in a relationship (of 2 years) and I feel what I feel and I don't try to act different and I do mean things sometime.

I feel bad, because for about the first year of our relationship I'd manage myself more at home and around my SO, but I would crack every once in a while, cutting myself, or bursting into tears. It was better for him, but worse for me.

I wish I knew how to gain the energy required to manage myself 24/7.