Hey everybody, I am struggling with relationship anxiety and I don't know what to do.

I (24F) have an awesome partner (25M). We've been together for a bit over 3 years and this is my first long term relationship. The first 2.5 years were awesome. We were so happy with each other and everything was okay. But a few months ago, i suddenly got very anxious about the relationship and it hasn't really gone away since then.

I have always been an anxious person. I've been really anxious in this relationship before. But this is wat REALLY worries me: The anxiety I sometimes had in the first 2.5 years, was about the fact that I was scared that he wil someday leave me. This was terrible but I wanted to be with him more than anything else and he gave me joy and happiness whenever I saw him. This anxiety has been gone for a long time, but anxiety came back. But my anxiety now is SUDDENLY about me not being sure if he is the one for me. So it kind of turned around. Nothing happened between us that caused this sudden thought. It just suddenly happened to me.

What's confusing is that I was always SO sure that we were an awesome fit together and deep down I know this still is true. But I cant stop wondering about everything. "Are we REALLY a good fit?" "Am I still in love?" "Why do I feel anxiety about this? This can't be good, right?" "Am I just leading him on now?".

Here is the thing: Because I have felt this intense anxiety for a few months now, I have the feeling I don't want to see him again because the idea of seeing him gives me so much anxiety! Because I am too afraid I might get triggered, or get an anxiety peak when he is with me! So my mind screams at me that it's better to withdraw from him and be alone! But  I really think that when i will leave him, this same problem would arise with a potential other partner. And I'm scared that I will then realize that I lost someone who was actually a perfect fit for me. Also, we do meet up every week and when we are together the anxiety is rarely as bad as when I'm alone, worrying about seeing him. When he is with me tho, I do feel annoyed at him quickly. For no reason. Because the anxiety is still there, even tho it's not as prominent as when I'm alone.

We've talked it through. He knows about my anxiety and he supports me. He does not know that I feel like running away from him tho. I'm starting to see a therapist in a few weeks. I think I have an anxious-avoidant attachment style and I also read a lot about ROCD, and it won't surprise me if ROCD is something I have. But then again, I'm scared I just make these things up just to have an excuse for not breaking up.

So back to my question: Is it possible that I don't want to see my boyfriend, and withdraw from him, because of this awful anxiety? Or am I just making that up as an excuse to not break up? Any advice is really Welcome. Thank you.

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TLDR: I have bad anxiety about not being sure if my partner is the one. These doubts do not have a reason, they just suddenly came. Now don't feel like seeing my boyfriend anymore and my mind screams at me to run away and be alone. Can the anxiety cause these feelings? Or am I just making this up to try to stay in a relationship which is already dead?