hi, i’m a 17 year old female. i have an ed, anxiety, ocd, depression and more. i haven’t officially been diagnosed w bipolar yet, i’m waiting to get a new psychiatrist but my therapist is pretty sure i have it and wants me screened and put on mood stabilizers asap, but unfortunately we need a psych for that and i have to wait two weeks to meet w her :( y’all i want meds soooo bad i’m desperate for relief. and that’s saying something bc i used to be VERY anti med (i was the one in rehab who would refuse meds 🫣) 

likely having another title (diagnosis mental illness w/ever u wanna call it) feels bad but also good to put a name on this. a lot of what bipolar sounds like really feels true for me. can you guys explain what mania looks like for YOU. i’m trying to identify all of my manic traits or signs i’m in that state. also liek i wanna know if bipolar is correct? i suspected it before my therapist even mentioned it but now i’m liek ugh do i just want attention or another thing to feel self pity about. or do i just want to be sick? idk am i j tryna invalidate myself? 

i’m really struggling with life right now. i don’t know how to best function. i have a lot of things that are important to me like spirituality but my mind seems to be getting in the way of me living. i want to be successful and i’m a very high functioning (or so my therapist says i disagree however i am extremely perfectionistic and expect a lot form myself) but then also my mind makes it hard to do things. and like i feel like i can’t quantifiabley identify what’s a manic and what’s a depressive ep for me. i cycle through periods of high energy, racing thoughts, jittery, bad in the moment decisions and more and then also periods of depression with sh, inability to get out of bed, intense sadness, feelings of hopelessness etc. but then i sometimes feel like i go through periods where characteristics of both feel true. but like idk exactly how long each one lasts  and i feel like there can be a transition period too. is that normal? anyways life has just been really hard lately. i have less spoons rn (my therapist taught me that anology today if you’ve ever heard)i can do less but i have a few things that are important. how do y’all live? 

also have a mentor and friend who i go to for mental health things, and they’ve mentioned bipolar before. i know i could always ask them but we haven’t rly talked in a month and i miss them but also they always help me w my problems and it’s not their problem that have their own struggles etc(they’ve done a LOT for me in the past few months) . i know that hey wouldn’t mind but i j don’t wan to dump my problems onto them. i miss this person a lot right now tho honestly my favorite person :)

please give me feedback i feel so alone rn 🥲 it’s literally 2 am and i’m on reddit.  thank you for reading &lt;3