I was conflicted to post this on r/DAE or this subreddit. 

I have no idea if this is a BPD thing or if it’s just a me thing. I would love some insight. 

I consistently, every couple months, decide that I’m fed up and begin to plan moving far away and starting another “brand new” life in a completely different place. I will get so into this idea that I will choose a place, often times at random, and begin to research the area, look up homes for rent, save my favorites, look up the best neighborhoods to live in, the schools, etc. Just to simply get away from everything in my life that’s causing my brain to feel like the image of a television screen showing that horrid scratchy busy screen that happens when your video isn’t working correctly. I have an entire fantasy in my head of how my life could be if I just moved away and changed everything and let go of all of my friendships, relationships, etc. The feeling is so insanely comforting, and I’m riding on this insane high of pure bliss and happiness, and it lasts for weeks, until it finally dulls and reality finally unfortunately hits. And then I’m depressed again. The reality hits that no way could I ever make this happen. I have a strong career, I have a child, I cannot just simply pack up and move. 

But for 2-3 weeks, it felt so real. And it brought so much happiness and positivity. So much that I can barely describe how good it felt. 

Is this something that any of you have also dealt with? Again, I have no idea if this is a BPD thing or just something that I, myself, have dealt with.