A little over a month a ago my husband and I (and or three cats and two dogs) had to move back in with my family.  Financially we never recovered from my husband losing his job 2 years ago, a year without work, husband going back to school and then me having a full blown mental breakdown and being diagnosed with what feels like everything April 2016, at which point I had to stop working or, not meaning to be dramatic, risk no longer being alive. 

We own our own house, I've been living away from my abusive family for nine years. This past year my parents have been having to help keep us afloat so that the house wouldn't be foreclosed. We just couldn't find our feet. 

So last month we rented out our house for less than the mortgage (vacancy rates are very high in my city due to unemployment rates) and we had to move back in with my family. My husbands family was not an option as they are almost as bad off financially as we are. 

My father physically and emotionally abused me growing up. My mother emotionally abused me. My brother sexually and emotionally abused me. They all live in this house. I notified my mental health team, knowing the next several years would be difficult and I move back in with my abusers. Everything I've worked so hard to overcome these last nine years is already crumbling. The emotional abuse has already started, literally nothing I do is good enough. I thought about heating up a knife and burning my arms tonight. That morphed into thinking about taking all my pills while my husband slept. 

I feel hopeless and trapped. I've been looking for places for us to move. But we can't find a place that will let us keep our dogs that we can afford. 

I really don't know what I'm looking for by posting this up. Guidance, validation, a place where I can just get this out.... 