Not really. I've had friendships, but most were formed around convenience and nothing else. All of my friendships have been shallow and felt extremely fake to me. Even the girl I considered my best friend for ten years, I'm now realizing that we never really talked about anything. We talked about shows and games we liked, school projects, but never ourselves. I knew next to nothing about her, and she knew next to nothing about me, and I'm assuming this was my fault since I'm the one who hates/is unable to talk about my feelings. 

The same goes for family. I like my family, but I recently realized from watching my siblings with my mother that it's not the same at all. My brother tells her everything about his problems and every detail of his life. My sister calls my mom when she's upset because her dad yelled at her, or if something happened at school. I could never imagine doing that. My mom and I go out for lunch, we watch movies, we share Facebook/Tumblr jokes. But we don't have a deep relationship either, and I'm the same way with my siblings. I couldn't imagine talking to them about anything. 

A few years back I thought I'd felt a "connection" to someone but it turns out it was just an obsession. (And technically, I think the fact that I knew this person had no desire to connect with me and just wanted to use me is one reason I was so obsessed, but that's its own messed up story.) With another person I was friends with at the same time, I tried to force a connection by being really honest and open about everything, but I was still just faking it and it made me really uncomfortable.
 
Is this normal? I didn't even start considering it wasn't until I started taking note of how other people talk/act regarding relationships with their friends and family. I don't usually feel connected to people, and I've always been desperate to find any kind of "connection", but I only recently realized that this may not be what everyone else feels. I have no idea what to think. And I don't know where to post this because I have no idea why this is, but I have BPD so here I am.