I had a friend who had drama and a falling out with another friend both whom I haven’t talked to for very long. One told me their part of their story and eventually I asked about the other and then moved on to the next thing in the conversation. I have learned especially with BPD there is a different perception to everything and that we all have bad tendencies and faults. I made a request for both of them to put aside what happened because they are both dear to me and come to my wedding. The friend I asked first declined but then continued. She said she hoped I wasn’t talking behind her back. I checked the facts and told her I brought up the issue and dropped it. I let her know it made me feel insulted that she would assume after knowing me for so long that I would entertain the idea of “talking sh*t” because I don’t feel any animosity towards them both. She said she was insulted because it’s like being friends with an ex friend of mine which she has a couple and I have never said a thing because personally I feel making people choose alliances is something we learned when we we’re kids and I don’t agreed. I slipped and mentioned she’s friend with someone who does not have a good character and immediately regretted it because there is a court case going on and I’m paranoid it would impact it I told her I would tell her but to respect that part. She told me as soon as things get tough “y’all be running” and called me girl and sis in a condescending tone. I felt it in my bones that I did not feel safe and she kept asking who like a owl to pull the answer even though I told her I couldn’t. I still regret it. 

In the end, I talked the facts over with my fiancé who was also there when I talked to the other friend. My intuition and my body  tells me that if this person does not make me feel safe than I have to protect my emotions. I know I will have a mourning period and I’ll be making an appointment with my psychologist.