Im struggling right now to keep regulated because of the Holidays. The masks are being put back on for family so I feel im doing a disservice to myself at this time. ANYWAY. 

My problem lies with my splitting right now. 

I have an FP. I recognize this. And I feel the need to cling because im projecting hard af right now that they will leave.... So of course I want to message every second until I get some response... HOWEVER I am so HYPER aware of this problem that I actually do the OPPOSITE and end up pulling away from people instead as a way to just shut myself down from the clinging. I just need to know im not the only one who does this. Its like I have to force myself onto the black side of things because I realize im placing people on a pedestal and end up doing the opposite on accident. Not that anyone has had a problem with how im acting...and most dont even see a difference in my attitude. Im the only one who just feels crazy.

I just need some validation during this time of mental exhaustion lol