I don’t know why. My Dad was never there. When I reconnected with him when I was 16, he asked for money. As a child, my Mom would pick me up from school, then go in her room and lock the door until the next morning. No interaction. I was a shy, quiet child and never started trouble. I’m married now and my husband told me that I’m unloveable. I don’t understand. I’m kind even when others aren’t kind to me. I try to love people, when I’m not loved back. I couldn’t even imagine what a beautiful feeling it must be to feel loved. How special would that be? Unfortunately, I will never experience that and it’s so painful.