i feel numb, i feel stupid, i feel useless. 
I feel like i wanna kms rn but at the same moment i don't wanna do it because i have 3 cats and i would hurt them.
I am so tired of  life, i am so exhausted.
I wanna give up.
Nobody seems to understand me.
I love my boyfriend so much, like he's my favorite person. 
But right now i hate him so fucking much.
I try to be nice to him, i try to calm down because i know i really don't hate him. Thats just my stupid head, thinking he hates me and im stupid and ugly and i don't deserved him.
my bpd wants to break up with him. But i don't want to.
My head is so stupid omg pls help me i don't know what to do.
i had a talk with my therapist, she didn't helped me at all.
Like she just told me to calm down.
stupid bitch thinks its easy..
I hate her but now i hate her more. 
dear god, send me someone who understands me.