Recently I went through some major life stuff that made me plummet into depression harder than I ever have. I recently had a falling out with a friend after we went on vacation together which then effected the entire friend group and my relationship. Only a week after one of my ferrets die at the young age of 2. I’ve become incredibly depressed, angry and anxiety ridden. it’s like i’m a different person and i hate it.


I have always struggled very hard with social issues, anxiety , what have it. For several years I went without any friends at all, going days on end without speaking to anyone. After highschool and then covid hits when i’m in college and it was practically impossible to make friends. I met a friend online and we became extremely close and codependent. To have the first friendship i’ve had in years ripped away from me and then horrible long lasting consequences with everyone else in my life has been traumatic.

i constantly feel like i’m socially inadequate, i hate everyone, there is no one in my life who is better off for having known me and i have a deep hatred for myself. these thoughts are constant and it is hard that no one knows how bad i am suffering everyday fighting my own mind. i feel like i’m a broken horrible person who will always be alone.

i’m terrified of more things going wrong or more relationships being ruined by my awful mental health. I’m very irritable person and feel as if i have no redeeming qualities. i just want to be normal again but there has been so many years of trauma and being completely alone.