For context: I have BPD, depression, anxiety and mild PTSD...


I'm not exactly sure which (if any) category this may fall under, or if there's even a name for it...but have any of you ever started to feel bad mental or emotionally and just started intentionally thinking or looking at things that make it worse? I'm sure I'm not the only one, but I just have no idea why I do it. Am I trying to intentionally hurt myself mentally/emotionally? If yes, I'm not sure why I do it..


I was on Facebook and came across my boyfriend's old account he had when he was with his ex-girlfriend...and I just kept looking at their old pictures together. He looked happy...but I distinctly remember ages ago that he told me it was the most miserable time of his life. I know people put on fake smiles all the time, so maybe my brain *is* trying to hurt me....I'm not sure. I instantly thought of coming here to ask.


Any perspective on this is greatly appreciated. Thank you.