[21m] I’ve been meaning to go to therapy for a few years now. About a month ago, I hurt my gf really bad (emotionally), so I promised her I’d get better, for her. I went to a therapist and she told me to go see a psychiatrist – I went, they diagnosed me and they asked me to stay at the mental ward for further tests, I refused so they prescribed me Prozac, Remeron (and something else I forgot) and told me to go back when I finish the doses, but idk, I’m scared of taking it. I’ve heard it makes you not fell at all, not only not “sad”, but also keeps you from being happy. Besides, Remeron is an appetite stimulant, which isn’t good as I’ve gained about 24kg this year alone (I’m currently ~95kg); on top of all of that, I’m really against it, not because I don’t trust in meds in general, but psychiatric meds… idk, I don’t think we as a species have enough knowledge to give that kind of treatment, considering just 50 years ago we still did lobotomies… which is exactly what I’m afraid of; I feel like if I take them, I won’t be me anymore. I’m down for talking with a specialist, but- meds… ugh. 


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On the other hand, I keep fighting with my gf, and she’s the most amazing person on the planet. She’s kind, comprehensive, supportive, but also insecure, and when I get my mood swings, she thinks it’s her fault and even tho I try to make her understand it really is just me, she still thinks she’s doing something wrong, and I don’t wanna ruin her self-confidence even more. She’s the whole reason I’m doing this, I don’t wanna lose her, she’s the best I’ve had in all my life; if it were for me, I would’ve never gone to the psych and just hope I could kill myself soon, but- ugh. I’m just repeating myself now.

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Does anyone have any advice? 
