I have depression and anxiety. I'm 29 Yr old male. Have had it for 16 years. Always have it. Got worse with break up last year. Of course. I'm doing such good things. I'm a full time firefighter emt. And an emt on a volunteer ambulance service as well. I've been real depressed and having suicidal thought for the past 2 weeks.  I can feel myself spiraling. I'm about to move across country and throw away my job I've worked so hard for. I'm trying not to move now idk. I know I'll probably make a few bad desicions and legit end up on drugs and homeless. Tbh. I feel so worthless but I know I have alot to offer someone. I feel like nobody will ever love me even tho I've been in several relationships with great women. I just feel ugly and worthless. I take zoloft. But I'm stupid and miss doses all the time. The doctor even upped my dose. And when I do remember to take it I take a lower dose because I'm too lazy to cut a pill in half. Idk what I expect you to tell me. I guess give me hope that these meds will work if I start taking them as prescribed