So I’ve been struggling with my depression and anxiety. 
I have everything I’ve wanted in life and as much as I complain about my husband, he really is always there for me and supportive. I definitely couldn’t do it if I was in his shoes. 
Having everything I’ve wanted and I’m still sad, cry in bed, drink way too much.. do stupid shit like a teenager or young 20 year old. 
I’m far from that age but it seems to happen every weekend or other weekend. I know I need to stop or just have that one drink with dinner like we usually do. 

I also lost my mother in law, I’ve been struggling with that because I always complained about her because she was always around, like a mother should be and I realize now it was what I needed from her and now she’s not here… 
My mother and I don’t have a good relationship, and it won’t ever get to a good one. She has done some very horrible things to me  

It’s just made me realize or feel like I really don’t have anyone in my corner. Except for my husband and father in law. 
I always look to random friends for advice, I tell them my worst stories and hope they will make me feel better instead of trying to focus on myself to make sure I’m happy.. 
I don’t know what to do. 

My doctor is as useless and they come, I’m on depression meds with adhd meds and I was doing so well but now that my mother in law passed it’s not good. 

I know drinking is an issue but how does someone come to terms with that? To stop… it’s like after I do it and I’m in a mental breakdown then bam, I’m doing it again… and it’s not ever just casual drinks it turns into some things that aren’t good… I would be single if my husband found out kinda stuff… 
I’m not in a good spot. 
I need advice on what to do, an ear to listen, some guidance.