I’m 100% deadass not even joking. If it was a legitimate practice done in this day and age I’d be signing the fuck up tomorrow. Please, please, please please sever my prefrontal cortex from the rest of my brain. Please wreck that shit up, Leave it in pieces.  I no longer want to feel, to think, to exist, to do anything. Just remove it. Take it the fuck out.

I’ve been dealing with depression and horrible thoughts in my brain literally since I could remember, probably at about age 7 or 8 or so. I legitimately wish this practice was still widely available, as I really don’t want to think anymore. I don’t want to hurt anymore. I’m almost used to being depressed at this point at it’s such a constant in my life but the very idea of being empty of those feelings is very uplifting. Even being empty of all feelings so long as I’m no longer trapped in this constant cycle. I’m starting to look at other mental health medications as alternatives, like micro dosing, just literally anything that isn’t this. I spend so much time of so many days feeling depressed and miserable that I don’t think I’d be missing much to be able to get rid of all other emotions too. At this point I only feel that misery and it’s fucking constant. 
I don’t know the point of this post I just want to know if anyone can relate to this feeling of wanting to be sedated and completely blank. My emotions are always too intense for me in everyday life and I’d love to be rid of it all