i spent my 20th birthday all on my  own, just working all day and then going to bed out of exhaustion and  not even my mom said anything to me. I just feel really bummed no one cared. I was hoping to buy myself something to make it more special but I couldn't even afford it. 

I've never had friends my entire life mostly due to social anxiety, so every birthday I've ever had has been just sad and boring. I'm especially uncomfrotable with the fact that I'm not even an anxious teenager anymore, just an anxious adult now. What a great  start to a new chapter in my life. All my teen years were a waste,  just being a anxious shut-in loser and it makes me worry that my 20's are going to be exactly like this too.

it just makes me really anxious about the future, not going to lie. It sucks. I wish things like this wouldn't bother me so much, but it does.