I feel like they are spying on me via the meds. I am batteling myself over taking them. This voice tells me to not take them and never go to my pdoc again. I see sighns that those things are true. I am so afraid that I dont want to leave my room but I also have strong urges to run away from this city. I want to escape this hell where everyone wants to hurt me. All this is combined with dark thoughts. It is hard not to act on them.