I'm so tired of life.

There is no reason to stay alive anymore. Some people might say "oh you'll get over it, it's just the teen phase". Well is it really?

Because I don't really think that it's normal to feel this way.

School just keeps getting harder everyday. It is not about learning anymore, because all they fucking do is grade you and make you feel like shit. These days have been weird or I'll say 2021 was weird. I'm slowly losing motivation to do anything and I haven't really laughed in a while.

My feelings are disappearing. When I think about it, it is actually sad that anyone else feels this way. I honestly miss smiling. I miss the old happy me that everyone used to like. What did I do wrong for this to happen?

The smallest things make me irritated or angry. It's like I'm going to explode that's how it feels like. I was never really social with people. I find it hard to approach other people. People never try to talk to me either.

I really really wish I could be happy and live my best life but It's impossible. I get jealous when I see people my age living their best lives with their friends and family but at the same time, I get happy for them. Because they are doing what they are supposed to do. Be happy.

I have no purpose in life. This week has put so much stress and pressure on me that I can't even think anymore. So many people around me keep fighting with each other or shouting. My ears hurt, I hate loud noises because they give me a headache. I go to school from 8 am to 3 pm which is 7 hours. when I got home today I thought that taking a 1-hour break could help me rest before doing homework.

Thirty minutes in and they tell me that I'm using the "break" as an excuse to not help with housework. I'm okay with doing housework, I help most of the time but they never say thanks. I got used to it though.

I really don't know what to do anymore. No one really listens when I talk. I haven't been talking much lately, talking was once my favorite thing to do.

I feel sorry for my body, I feel sorry for my soul and I feel sorry for all the years that I've wasted living. There is probably someone out there wishing they could live longer but they can't because of a disorder. These people deserve to live life. Mine went to waste.