I have had many animals in my life. I currently have four rats, many fish, a tortoise, a snail, and my two dogs Monroe and Bella. Today is Bella’s 12th birthday and I can’t help but feel so sad and anxious. I lost a dog named Sophie was I was 12 (8 years ago) and I can honestly say it is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. Every time I lose a pet my whole world falls apart. I want to appreciate my time with her and love her but I can’t help but feel sad and anxious over the future. I know we don’t have forever but I’m so scared that her day will come before I’m ready to say goodbye. I’ll see her laying down and do a double take to make sure I see her breathing, I watch her run around and play and instead of being happy my brain gets sad because I know it’s hard for her and it won’t be forever. I hate feeling sad over this and not happy that I get this time with her