I’m a 24 year old woman living with BPD. I also have severe anxiety and depression (I know, how fun!?) I’ve only been recently diagnosed so I still don’t fully understand why I behave or act in a certain way. I am in a relationship with an amazing guy who supports me through my mental health problems. He is a great guy who truly is in love with me. However, a few weeks ago I was having a mental health crisis while on the phone with him. He lives in California, I live in Massachusetts so we’re a LDR. I was crying, sobbing; clearly not okay and I even told him I was scared because I was on the verge of relapse (self-harm). I know he is not responsible for keeping me safe but I felt so terrible when I told him he looked tired and asked if he wanted to sleep. He agreed and went to bed. I was still clearly shaken up. I don’t know if it’s my BPD but I became so irrationally angry after he hung up. Why couldn’t he stay up with me, even if he was tired? That just made me feel like he didn’t care. I began to angrily fidget and toss around in my bed. I don’t know what to say to him now. I feel like I have no right to be mad because he doesn’t have to sacrifice his sleep for me, objectively I know that. However I just can’t help but feel this rage over him just leaving me there to cry myself to sleep. He’s my favorite person but right now my feelings about him just seem so angry and I hate that.