I have generalized anxiety and probably social anxiety as well. My childhood wasn't the best and included a lot of screaming and arguments. After middle school all my bonds with family members broke and they never really formed again. I hate going home because whenever I do there are always complaints. I stay in my room and focus on school/work and  I'm considered detached from everyone acting like I dont want to be around them. I go out and try to speak/act like myself and then I get a talk about how rude I am, how I appear mean ,or act like I don't like anyone because I reject hugs (it's well known in my family that in general I'm not comfortable with affection). Social things don't come easily.  For example I'm really bad at pleasantries in a non-professional setting, If I dont say hi to my family every single time I see them I'm rude. But my friends understand that saying hi is just not in my nature and I just go straight into talking . My family always says "you are so hard to read" "you don't enjoy anything" "you use to be so nice and affectionate when your a child" Which makes me feel like some souless creature.

Then on the friend side I feel like I'm such a horrible person because it is hard to keep and make friends.  I dont have the energy  to text all day every day but feel like a horrible friend when I dont. I'm always working and so whenever I make new friends they eventually leave because I can't hang out often. When I do talk to people despite being anxious later I get call "You really pissed me off!". I isolate when I feel this way in attempt not to hurt anyone and then lose more people because I isolated. It seems like I cant do anything right at all.

 I don't have the energy to be some cheerful great loving affectionate person and it just feels as though it's better to just stay in a cave from everyone else. I don't like that it seems my personality makes everyone upset but at the same time I just wish at least some people would accept me for who I am.