Just as you've read from the title. Tomorrow is my 20th birthday and I'm the most depressed that I've ever been. My situation is I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for years now. I never thought I had depression and I always just blamed myself for being too lazy. I have no motivation to go to my college for classes and I always try and plan to change that but I never do. As a result I'm falling behind on a lot of work (too far behind now). I have never had a girlfriend and I'm still a virgin. I have a couple friends but they're busy a lot of the time with work and college and we only hang out really every 2-3 weeks so I'm looking for other/more friends who want to hang out a bit more than 2-3 weeks. I'm stuck in a college program in which I don't even like and I'm failing miserably. I switched programs this past summer to another and I've struggled in both. It's honestly so hard just sitting at home by myself and repeating the same boring day every day while my former classmates from high school are all in college dorms living their best lives, partying, making friends who they hang out with every day or every other day and having great lives. Overall I'm lost. I'll looking into getting a therapist but I don't know how much that would help me. I don't know what to do. I've never had suicidal thoughts and I'm not planning on ending it all but life is just so hard to live. I hate my life. I'm trying to change but I don't if I ever will.