hey yall, how are u doing ? i hope everyone of you feel good. 
these days, things have been pretty rough. i don’t know where to start honestly… i'm feeling very alone, as a lot of my friends are only preoccupied with their lives, girlfriends, hobbies,… and i wish them the best, but it's hard. they promised they would be there, and 3/4 of them have just left me when i needed them the most. i know i'm only a teenager, but i've never felt happy in my life. i got bullied quite hard when i was 7-8 years old (until i was like 11 years old), people didn't love me at all and left me alone, and it impacted me a lot. then, i've met a lot of people as a teenager, that i thought were my true friends, but made fun of me and also left me. i'm socially anxious, i don't know how to talk, physical contact is almost always akward and hard for me (except for a person i feel very comfortable around). i'm trying to talk to a girl, idk if she likes me, but i like her, and just the thought of, one day, having to confess my traumas to her is scaring me. i'm scared to be akward around her, i’m scared to not be understood, and to be a burden to people, as my ex made clear that my problems of loneliss were made up, and that i was not a good boyfriend to her. it hurts. i know that i shouldn’t be on this subbredit as i’m not depressed, and that other people may need help. i just don’t know how much i’m hurt, crushed,… by these thoughts and feelings that ive had since i was 8. idk how to describe it, there’s so much to tell about who i am, what i’ve lived…
i just wanna be happy, and loved for who i am.
sorry for taking your time yall, have a good morning/day/night, and love on another