Hey guys! Just found this sub and I think it's great that you've built this community, I wanted to share what happened to me today.
I was supposed to travel internationally for work, I had it under control and was even looking forward to it a little bit. But then it was time for me to take the test and I could go through with it. I was waiting to get tested at the airport and I overheard people leaving the test area complaining about how much it hurt, then I started panicking about how much the test would probably hurt my nose, and thinking about what ifs, how it could break inside my nose, or what if I pushed or kicked the nurse by reflex, or what if the cotton stayed deep inside my nose, I started sweating but I was also cold, and I couldn't breathe, even my vision got really blurry. Before I could calm down and think things through, I was in cab back home.
I fell so stupid and ashamed of myself,  but at the same time I feel relieved, and feeling relieved makes me feel selfish and like I'm a POS.
I need to talk about this with my therapist, but I just wanted to share my horrible experience and horrible reaction.