I received a CPTSD diagnosis alongside with BPD (no surprise...). I was bullied for years on/off as a child, I had an explosive and unpredictably family, etc. But prior to being diagnosed, I recognized that I had trauma and a very negative response to difficult things coming up--i.e., feeling afraid to go near places that remind me of the person/event that hurt me, avoiding any other reminder of the person/event, suddenly hurtling back into a memory of something traumatic for no reason. 

So...I tried EMDR but it was awful. The therapist was a nice, gentle type and I don't think she really did anything 'wrong' per say? But it became progressively worse, so upsetting for me emotionally that I just couldn't take it anymore. I never left the sessions feeling better about the past; I felt even more emotionally unstable and a lot of aggression and cloudy emotions arose in me that actually affected my life/relationships. EMDR just took me back to a dark space and I never felt like I actually worked through anything...WTF. It's really frustrating. 

Maybe this is because my traumas are complex vs. a seriously terrible singular incident, like rape or a car accident? Maybe some people with BPD just can't do EMDR? What are everyone's thoughts about this? 

**TLDR**: I really want to address my CPTSD and how it makes me 'cope' with traumas now but I'm a bit lost due to the bad EMDR experience. Is having a hard time with EMDR normal for BPD?