Now that my recent relationship is over, I’m doing some reflection on things and can’t help but blame myself a bit. I fall so hard and so fast, and it usually ends up being the demise of my relationships. I almost always say “I love you” first and often before I know I’ll hear it back. I put pressure on without realizing it because I want to be loved and have a partner so fucking badly, often at the expense of my own heart and pride. I try to make it work with everyone even if it isn’t right and I know it, like my most recent ex. 

I just want to be happy being on my own and let love happen naturally. In my defense, the last one had me completely fooled for the first month or so, then completely shut down when shit started getting real. It’s so unfair. I just want someone I feel intensely for to feel intensely back.