I sat on the bed listening to her cry, the only thing separating us was the door to the bathroom. This isn’t the first time. It won’t be the last. But I wish it would be…every time. 
I’m irrational, and I regret everything 99% of the time. I’m always so sorry. But she’s already hurt. 

I don’t know I just need to vent while she’s in the shower. Our kid’s at the grandparents so I need a good night with her. 

I’m constantly sabotaging any chance of happiness. I’m a monster.

Any tips for minimizing, I think I’ve read, it’s “splitting” I’m new to all of this. I feel like a loss cause. I’m coming out of a really bad 7 month depression, she suffered. She suffers. But she won’t leave me. I’m tired of being so mean to her all the time. 

Anything helps