I don’t know what it is, and I’m not sure if it’s realistically depression, but I’m absolutely repulsed by buying things

I struggle buying things I want and even sometimes need because it makes me feel a visceral amount of guilt. I don’t know why but the idea of losing ANY money immediately makes me spiral into thinking I’m greedy, even if I need to eat?

Maybe I’m just overwhelmed by the idea of ‘stuff’ but owning things makes me feel like shit and I’m kinda going back into my “depression den” era which just exacerbates the issue :/ cause now I can see all this shit I own

Not a hoarder, realistically I know that I own a comfortable amount of items, I just can’t get over the idea that I am ultimately undeserving of all of it and that sucks man, I’m sixteen I don’t need to “earn” anything. And I work? A job? I have earned the stuff I have I made the money to buy it? 

Sorry for venting, to be fair this is totally a throwaway acc and I don’t really use my main too often but 🤪 hate this xx 🤗

TLDR: I hate buying things because it makes me feel greedy.