I'm just really fucking tired. I've wasted almost 4 years of my life already to this stupid illness, I'm tired of it. I'm just done with this shit, it doesn't get better, it never will. I might just throw it all away at this point. I should have killed myself when I had the chance, or all those times when I planned it, I wish I had actually gone through with it. I'm just tired. I'm really tired.