Over the course of our relationship, I have messed up a lot communication-wise. He has the feeling of constantly walking on eggshells, so he does not make me angry and I become explosive and verbally abusive (when I am really angry, I also throw stuff towards him). He has the feeling he cannot freely express himself without causing me to get upset in some type of way.  Also wary of communicating his feelings since he fears of being critiqued. ANd a bunch of other stuff. We fight a lot over small things that have made me upset, and I have the issue where I see why other people would not be upset with it, but then also fighting for my point internally. 

Our fights have gotten out of control lately. We fight at least every other day, often even multiple times usually due to misunderstandings. It is like, one day is okay, but when it is okay, the next day is twice as bad. I get very manipulative towards him when he upsets me, guilt-tripping him, asking why he hates me, being verbally abusive. We had a VERY big fight a week ago, and I did not want to see him until we talked about it, he was really scared of seeing what he has texted me and he needed time to mentally prepare. I asked him why he is manipulative at times towards me, and he said that it rubs off, and he takes it in by what I am saying at him. There were rare instances where he gave me ultimatums or was overall manipulative but over the last few weeks, it has gotten so much worse. He has promised me to do better and to try and stop taking my stuff in, so it gets better but I have had a realization that I HAVE to improve my communication with him, or otherwise it wouldn't work out, no matter how much he tries by himself.

I cannot go to therapy currently, and I need to teach all of this by myself.

Can anyone recommend good websites where I can learn more about it, and put it into use? It could be anything, worksheets, articles, sharing your experiences as to how you learned how to be not manipulative and communicate more healthily.