I was always quite sensitive to criticism and was bullied at school for being nerdy, shy and a goody-two-shoes from the age of 7 to about 13 or so. I was in a small class and had 2 close friends. At 13 we started in a slightly bigger "high school" and my 2 friends left me for these cool girls we met. The cool girls didn't like me at all. I was excluded and I gave up on making friends after trying to befriend some other girls in my grade that didn't know me in elementary school. I took to hiding in the school bathroom often so people wouldn't see how friendless I was. I almost always rejected any party invitations/school events until I was 17 or so and could drink. I really wanted to go but would be way too scared. Stuff like the embarrassment of sitting alone on the bus stopped me. I would analyse every interaction I had during the school day at 13 &amp; 14. I would freak out so much over the smallest of mistakes like "oh I might've stuttered or seemed nervous saying that". I wanted to make friends badly and I felt like such a loser and worthless because I never had plans or people to text. I would blush talking to almost anyone. I was aware that I was a cute, nice, smart kid but for whatever reason I just assumed I wasnt worthy of friends. I felt like because I was rejected constantly I was inherently unlikeable and I shouldn't annoy people by trying to get to know them or be their friend. 

Now I'm 20, in college and in a 2 year relationship and not shy anymore but still feel like I missed out on crucial friend making time. While I do have friends to chill with in college, I don't feel like I have any close ones and I'm still ashamed I have no friends in my hometown.