My therapist asks me again if I will consider taking medications. I have 0 health insurance. I also am afraid of antidepression meds because I heard people complain bitterly about dependency or cost, or them getting slammed by side effects. 

But meds got brought up because I keep looping in this cycle of "1 or 2 weeks of doing great/good/hanging in there, then 3 to 6 days of crawling at the bottom of the black pit where I barely got out 2, 3 hours of work per day if any, and not wanting to even play games or watch Netflix because too much effort to care about what I would be doing/looking at". 

This last therapist I've been with for 2 years now, and I've definitely gotten better than the beginning. While I'm not actively tearing myself down anymore, I'm also not consistently doing things I want to have accomplished, if I even do them at all. 

You know, things like build a regular exercise routine, work within a predictable time frame, picking up those new skills and new tool knowledge I need for staying relevant in my profession, and stop ignoring important life stuff until something forces me to do them like calling the bank and get learned about overseas work visa paperwork, taxes. Etc. 

And no I'm not living an average adult life where I have a day job and my own place despite being fully into my adulthood. It's probably harder to start building up late and will need more effort out of me, hence I really need to be able to stop this looping fall into depression sink hole. While it's not immediately endangering, it's also wrecking my life construction efforts. 

Hence my therapist's suggesting Zoloft, to which I ask "How would I get that with 0 health insurance and how much is that?". More importantly, am I simply not doing my therapist homework hard enough on a daily basis for no-meds break free from bi-weekly depressive sink hole? 

I can do all the right things on my good days, for like 1 week to 10 days consistently, before I get "so tired" and drop everything except work, if I have any at the time. 

I know exercise will help a ton, I once hit a record of consistently exercising in my room for 1 month, but that was in April...