Every night for a few years now when I'm laying in bed I have thoughts of getting killed, not by myself but just an image of me getting hit in my head over and over all while thinking I'm useless, no one loves me and until I fall asleep i uncontrollably cry myself to sleep . Everything around me overwhelms me to the point i can't get myself to eat or do basic activities . I don't know how to control it and most of the time i have panic attacks and cry. I have no one to talk about this so I'm writing here because I feel like I'm going to break down even more . I can't find a way to stop this