So there are few things here to mention, idk how to lightly begin so here goes nothing.

I cant adapt to changes, any change in life (work, relationship and so on) will hardly impact me and make see everything negatively for a month or so till i get used to it, idk if its some sort of trauma or what from my childhood but its so bad, and my girlfriend has traumas too and can’t see what i feel, i just got a new job and i genuinely don’t know if its me hating it on my second week being there cuz its actually trash or thats just me adapting to change, it makes me see everything as bad and it’s hurting me so bad as i can’t even be me and do what i like, every thought is foggy and miserable

Second issue is i feed of people’s energy way too easily, if someone is happy im happy, if someone is depressed im depressed and so on, yes thats human nature and energy and all, but mine is too much, i cant be spiritually/mentally independent, no matter how hard i try and what i do, there more i start to pay attention at my daily/long term patterns, the more i start to see that im so messed up in many ways, i need a therapist but can’t afford one right now, and as i mentioned my girlfriend has traumas and potential bpd (borderline personality disorder) which she doesn’t accept and cant take ANY negative criticism or comment, even if it’s correction to something that she did wrong or actually something that bothers me.