Often times for something ridiculous, like following an account on instagram that I do not know, and how they are going to seize all my devices and search them and make me attend therapy (which they have done an immeasurable amount of times) if “I let it happen again”. I follow like 722 accounts on instagram, and my mom checks every single day when someone follows me or I follow them, and within an hour, she will comment to me on it. 

Not only that, but also just for their general paranoia and distrust in me. Always talking about how I am plotting against them, and accusing me running clandestine drug syndicate websites or instagram pages for certain substances, which for the record I have never even done anything like that— as well as accusing me of going out to buy drugs for being gone on a bike ride for TOO SHORT of a time. 

They also forced me to attend like 29 therapy sessions because they “thought” I was a junkie (for doing shrooms once), and now they say if I do it again (which I won’t) the ramifications will be so severe (rehab/psych ward or something)

They have so much authority and it feels like it’s the most important thing in the world when they come in to “talk”, and I know it all sounds like minor teen stuff that I’ll get over when I’m older, but my heart pounds out of my chest when the people who raised me call my name, because I know I am doomed for something bad.

How can I stop panicking when they do this

I am not allowed to be put on anti anxiety medication.

I don’t even get up to no good. I haven’t hung out with another kid besides the gym outside of school since 6th grade. I just want my parents to be normal and stop acting like this to me. I feel like I am going insane today. I might even be in psychosis now. Nothing feels real. I hear her now oh god I feel like I’m out of my body