I am a virgin in my mid twenties and when I am offered sex by someone I turn it down without really thinking, my mind will invent a hundred reasons why I turn it down but it's only recently that it's occurred to me that it could be another part of my BPD.

I don't intend to have sex when I flirt and act promiscuously with people I like, I just want them to show they want to have sex with me for the self esteem boost it provides, for me that is really the only explanation why I continue to seek sexual contact despite never going through with it.

Does anyone else relate to this?