He was rare
But rare isn't enough when your flip is switched
And your skin is crawling
While your mind is hijacked
And you see no sign of relief
And he can't see you

I've decided I can exist
And I've learned longing for the love you let me have
Is easier on my fragile being
And wishing I had you to hold for the night
Is better than holding on for my dear life 
Wishing my time was up

My borderline brain, it scares my conscious self
I know I am strong, my borderline brain does too
But when I am weak, I am vulnerable

My brain- when triggered, lacks remorse
Attacking me in all the ways it can
Finding the perfect assortment of language that dilutes my inner world
I shrink, can't think
Meanwhile I'm hanging on to all the ropes I keep me afloat
One by one, snapping
And when there's but one left, I must climb it
To the top, and grasp my life.