I’m in solitary with minimal contact with others, due to isolating at a very young age and having trouble coming out of it because little did I know I have dependency issues and won’t do anything without someone but have no one. Anyways.. the last attachment I have was with some older man like 20 or who knows .. online when I was 16 who inevitably catfished me sadly and he has antisocial personality disorder.. so It went on until 19 years old and I’m 20 now coming to 21. And whenever I am lonely and have no one to speak to I dream of him messaging me telling me he’s coming back for me. And I notice he’s one of the attachments I cannot get out of me because of this.. because I normally look for someone I can become and I’ve become him so I act like him and I can feel the perception of how I seen him and visualized him to act facially and such and becoming them and I also speak like him which is not good. Can’t stop feeling like we are one being and don’t know how to vomit him out of me. I start feeling like an antisocial person  and that I’m evil like him and it’s getting at me morally as well. Not sure if I’m actually acting like him or if it’s me and I’m just referencing him, I don’t even remember who I am or what I am suppose to be so I have no idea. But have fantasy and fetish of acting out like him and being a male . And I’m going crazy sometimes I take his gender too. Does anyone else do this? I feel like only way to get him out is to meet someone else to become attached to.