About two months ago, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he felt that we had become more friends than romantic partners. It absolutely broke me, and I haven’t been able to heal yet. About a month ago, I had a suicide attempt, swallowed some pills, not enough for anything serious to happen though, maybe I wasn’t ready to die. But I can’t really do this anymore now. I’m Holding on for my mom and my family, but every day is fucking hard. I honestly just want to die, also because I believe that it’s the only way he will love me again. And if not, at least I won’t be here to find out. 

I don’t have many friends, and the ones I have, I’m not very close with (I struggle a lot with this) and I don’t feel 100% safe with them. I’ve always felt alone, but at least I had him. Not anymore, now I am seriously alone. I honestly don’t know how to keep going, I feel like I’m just waiting to die, because living is too much for me to handle. I’m not even living, I’m surviving. I’m so fucking tired. 

5,5 years..... what is life even now? What am I supposed to do now?