Hi fellow Bipolar folks :)

In 2020 I applied to a thesis-based masters of public health and got in in  Spring 2021 (heck ya!). In Summer 2021, I got diagnosed with BP2 after a  hypomanic episode and have been trying cocktails of meds since under guidance of my GP. I ended up deferring my program to 2022 due to my mental health issues at the time.

After a year of being  off work/working part time, I'm doing better but having major issues  with medication-related side effects. I'm currently on 2mg of Abilify  (dropped down from 5mg) but still feel really sedated and am  experiencing emotional blunting and cognitive issues (memory, word  finding, difficulty ). I'm now going onto Lamotrigine to see if my  cognitive issues improve w a different med.

All  that being said, it's July and I feel completely unprepared for school  in September. Before meds and before my episode, I was sharp, highly  motivated and could focus without issues. Now on meds, I am terrified of  going to school and failing due to slower cognition, fatigue and focus  problems. I feel like I can barely read and retain information and worry  that my med switch won't do enough to get me feeling like myself in  time for school.

I feel so  overwhelmed and can't decide whether or not I want to decline my offer  that I worked very hard for and reapply in another year or two from now,  or try going in the fall and risk potentially struggling hard with my  MH and productivity. I have booked myself in to see a counsellor, but in  the interim would love some feedback. Has anyone experienced attending a  grad program w BP, and if so, how did you fare. Any perspectives, words  of wisdom or reassurance would be welcomed right now!