Today I turn 25. Unlike the rest of my bdays, I did not have plans made with my friends, I am going to a museum with my mom. I remember the pressure of having things to do for my birthdays, swearing I will never be planning stuff for them, but now I feel a bit like a stupid looser who thought she would be somewhere really special on her 25th bday, alone in a foreign country (plan was Southern America, but you know, Covid happened). I feel like I accomplished some really important things this year about which I am proud off, however I feel extremely lonely and anxious about all the rest of the things I did not do - make more friends, work on my friendships. Today marks a very sad day/proud for me, on the one hand I am very happy to have graduated with a Masters degree recently and also gotten a drivers license and been able to upkeep a relationship with someone I love long distance, I also feel like an stupid unemployed human who has now to start a new life, get a job, hopefully move countries and stop feeling resentful of my other friends who seem to be more accomplished than me. Has anyone ever felt this weird mix of emotion and learnt how to deal with it?

Thank you