Okay so, I've suffered with anxiety for years, i always had glimpses of it when I was younger but It definitely went off the rails when a close family member died when I was only young so it took a huge toll on me, school became a humongous challenge and I started refusing to go, teachers were forcing me anyway they could and one accused me of faking it which caused me to feel even worse about it, they then finally gave me the option to transfer me to a special school, I was happy but my mood quickly sank knowing I'd be in another new uncomfortable environment, I started my new school but once again started refusing to go, the teachers once again asked me why, and I felt embarrassed, the little things were scaring me, not being able to open the bus door, standing up in class, speaking, new students, everything, I eventually got used to it and stayed on until I passed my grades, thinking about the future, I wanted to act. Be in movies, but of course I got the occasional "how can you act when you are afraid of the tiniest things?" That's when I realised maybe I couldn't be what I wanted to be but I was sure gonna try, I then wanted to overcome little things, but I have no idea where to start, I'm scared of public transport. Buses, eating out, and one thing I just cannot do. Pay for food. I  always got my friends to pay even if it was with my money, when packing bags my friend gave me her card saying "pay for it" and I had a complete breakdown, she apologised but I felt terrible, i felt like I'm not gonna be normal in the future, I won't have these friends all my life and sooner or later I'm gonna have to do it by myself and that's what scares me, I just have no idea how to approach it and even though I've said to my friends ill try and overcome it in my own time I can't help but feel that I'll never find the confidence to do that, everytime I felt uncomfortable I tried my best to avoid it, during school when a teacher gave me the wrong paper I hid myself in my arms and felt the whole class staring at me and the teacher asking me what was wrong but I was too afraid to simply say "you gave me the wrong paper." And instead I bursted out crying, during class when I kept getting answers wrong because I wasn't focused and I felt my palms getting sweaty and I was so tempted to get up and leave but knew if I did that I'd only place more embarrassment on myself. Everytime a teacher asked a question to someone, feeling my heart beat faster and my mouth going dry thinking my name would be next, I begged and begged the teachers to make my school life easier and to just let me do my work and not ask me questions, some listened, some didn't care, of course my friends asking me to go out to get drinks and food and my only reply being "Sure, but I can't get anything." Just so I didn't cause any hassle, my biggest achievement which may not seem like much, was going to the smallest shop and buying one chocolate bar and paying by myself, walking out that shop although the interaction only lasted under 10 secs, I felt like I had won a medal, I remember telling all my friends and family, I'm not sure when I'll get another boost of confidence to do that again, but I'd really appreciate tips, if anyone has even a slight tip that might just help me then I'd love to hear it! This might be a long read so if you read this entire thing thank you!