I know you need to focus on your breathing and all that. But when I'm in therapy and my therapist wants to help me practice mindfulness, it literally only makes it worse. I'm sitting there with my eyes closed, thinking about more things that will cause me even worse anxiety because my brain is broken. I'm sitting there with intrusive thoughts and unable to relax. I realize I likely have some form of OCD as well and I'm really hoping during my first ever Psychiatry apt last week that he picked up on it.

I'm worried all the time. I don't think I've been able to fully relax in months. I just want to get better and I'm worried that I won't ever be back at a functional level again.