I can try so hard and no one sees it or believes that I am, not that it actually accomplishes anything anyways. If only anyone knew how hard it is to not cut myself sometimes, or not binge on porn or partake in any other number of self-destructive behaviors. My life is wasted potential. I honestly have a lot of talents and skills and I'm not a dumb guy by any means. But none of that matters because I'll never put any of it to real use and accomplish something. I'm a waste of the time, money, and energy that people have put into me. I know I can't rely on others to solve my problems for me but I don't know how otherwise, and if I can't solve them myself, what obligation does anyone else actually have to be there for me? Can I blame people for leaving? I suppose not; I wouldn't want to be around me either. But at the same time, I wouldn't have left them like that, especially if they were struggling with the same things that I do. If there's anything I've learned, it's that I can't trust that people will be there for me like I would for them. 