Content warning: suicide, and the mention thereof



Tl;dr my partner came extremely close to ending their life while i was at work. Not sure how to help.

Good day.

Im scared and panicky. My partner has been diagnosed with BPD, depression, bipolar and i suspect she suffers from undiagnosed C-PTSD. They are also currently undergoing an Autism diagnosis. 

Last night between the hours of 8pm and 12am, they were either attempting suicide, or was planning to. The story is messy, and they weren't making sense.

This has been an ongoing situation for the last 2 weeks, and she has been suffering with her diagnoses for the last 10 years. Nothing is helping. She has a psychiatrist, a psychologist. She has been to DBT therapy, an educational psychologist, an OT. She has a laundry list of meds she has to take each day.

Im scared. I work a night shift job, 12 hours each night. My one fear is coming home, and shes not here with me anymore. Last night was the closest shes been in the two years we've been together. She is a semi-regularly self harmer.

Im just. Im scared, and im not sure what to do. She finds no joy in anything, whenever anything happens her mind immediately jumps to catastrophizing, she cant engage in hobbies because of immense mental fatigue. She says the only thing thats kept her alive is me, but recently the pain and emptiness is overcoming even that.

Im lost, and i cant find my way here.