I am schizo and its been going worse through the last months. 

Right now I believe I must fall to the floor with my head to free myself from the fear of death so I have done several times attempts to do that and I fall on my back and right now I hurt myself in the rib. My thoughts and imagination keep taunting on me that I have to go through this blow to have a astral projection and I am obsessed with this. 

I feel horrible I even think my psychiatrist is no longer helping me because she put all the medication at the end of the day instead of giving them to me during the day so I feel more calm.

I am very scared and I dont seem to have warrior spirit to breakthrough. 

Thanks for the support there must be a way but I beg to avoid pain and death. Huge crisis. I may get hospitalized at any moment and the treatments there dont look good. 

I wish I was free of this mind and body without fear once for all. 

Regards,

Enrique