Its like it wants me to engage in behavior i know wont help me. Constantly throwing out self criticism and mental brain vomit. Very seldomly do I get an unconscious thought that’s positive. I have to intentionally try and bring those in. But my mind fights positivity or self love, every attempt to better myself is met with negativity and criticism. I just don’t get it. Shouldn’t my brain want me to be okay? Shouldn’t it be doing its best to keep me calm and at peace. Why does it want to undermine me, it makes no sense and doesn’t benefit me at all. I just wanna be okay with myself, I just wanna be accepting and loving towards myself, why wont it let me?