I want to ask those who are members of any kind of religious sect to help me weigh in on how to handle this situation. 

I have been working at a church camp for many years. I love it. I feel like it was what I was born to do if I could make a career out of it (which I can't- it only runs during the summer and during labor day, and we don't get paid). I was a counselor this summer at the camp and enjoyed my time there as usual. 

Fast forward to last week. Labor Day Retreat is a time for camp kids to get together again during the 4 day weekend during the school year. I have worked as a counselor there before, and loved it. I messaged a member of the couple who runs it that I have gone to church with for over 20 years. I ask if there was something I needed to fill out if I was helping (which I expressed my interest in during camp, so last month). She messages me back saying she "already has me on the waiting list- we already have more than enough and tons more like you wanting to help. We will let you know if we need you. Thanks!"

I... felt really gutted. I took off a half day of work and sat in my bathtub and cried my eyes out in shame and anger and despair. Everyone that I know that helped with camp that I am also close to is going to be in a cabin. One of the moms of some of those other people will be in a cabin, and she doesn't even attend our congregation. The husband is an elder at my church, one that I considered myself pretty close to until this incident. Now, I have no idea where I sit with him. 

Now I'm trying to decide what to do. On the one hand, I want to go visit the people there that are working that I am friends with. People I have worked alongside this summer who I feel a good connection with. On the other hand, I DO NOT want to run into, associate with, or see the people at camp who were responsible in cutting me off of the help list. I don't want to miss out, but my fear of being told that there was a reason I wasn't invited back (which I have no idea why that would be the case, but in my head there has to be some logical reason) is pushing so very hard against my desire to connect with those I care about- especially since one of them is moving in a few months over 10 hours away, and I'm going to miss them a lot. I'm also worried about how I will react if I'm asked by some of the other staff why I'm not there (only one staff member knows, and he assumed I was counseling as well). What do I say?

Tips? Suggestions? My feels are all over the place, and I just need help sorting these thoughts out. Thank you so much for your time.