I was diagnosed with BPD at 13. Sounds ridiculous, but my psychologist absolutely believed I had BPD. I browse this subreddit often and I can’t help but relate to it a ton. Every singe post I come across I see myself in. I do research about BPD a lot. I’ve been going to therapy since before my BPD diagnosis. My therapist seemed a little confused by the diagnosis. My mom would use my diagnosis to invalidate my emotions. She truly believed I had it for a while. I was having a pretty tough day going through a depressive and impulsive episode. I kept looking around me for anything to kill my self with right there and then. In public. I kept getting intrusive thoughts and everything was very loud and overwhelming. I can’t remember what triggered this event, but I remember it felt like the end of the world. My mom snapped at me and said she didn’t understand why I acted like this. I said, “You know I have BPD, how come when I show symptoms you suddenly forget?” or something along those lines. She told me that BPD means I’m faking my emotions. I was very confused for a second because there’s no way I’m faking this episode. I desperately wanted it to stop. I was so disconnected and angry and sad and everything all at once. So I went a while thinking there was no way I had BPD. I read how BPD makes you abusive and crazy. I thought that there was no way I could have BPD since I didn’t want to hurt anyone. 

A few months later I watched a video about BPD and I was absolutely convinced again that I have it. I looked at all the criteria for BPD and sure enough I qualified for the diagnosis. 

I talked to my therapist about it some more and she told me there’s no way I have it. She also brought up how I am too young to be diagnosed. i’m about 14 at this time. Then a few months later she diagnosed me with bipolar. ???? i’m just... so confused. Although yeah I relate to some things bipolar people struggle with, I relate A LOT more to BPD. It’s certainly possible I have both since I do meet the criteria for bipolar regarding the extreme changes in mood. 

I’m 16 now and have been diagnosed with a plethora of mental illnesses and I’m not sure what I have anymore. My parents are constantly invalidating my mental illnesses. And I just don’t know anymore. I just want to know how to get better. That starts with a correct diagnosis. I want the right medication and the right kind of therapy. I don’t know what to do. I have no one in my life anymore and I honestly don’t mind it. I’m not hurting anyone and no one is hurting me. I don’t want anyone new in my life until I have my shit sorted and I know how to handle friendships and relationships. 

I no longer have the same psychologist by the way... I wish I did.