Hello, I'm new to this subreddit, but I was diagnosed with BPD a year or two ago. Since I was in 7th grade on, I develop dependencies on one specific person. I will call them and text them and beg for basically every second of their attention until they end up hating me and calling me crazy and abandoning me. I've done this same thing to 4 different people and today, the 4th told me to never speak to them again.

Why do I keep doing this knowing just how unhealthy it is for everyone involved? Other friends can say something polite, but if I don't have this one specific friends opinion of me perfect, I absolutely will lose it. I literally feel lost without this specific human being in my life and it's so toxic to me and everyone around me.

Am I the only one who does this?