Trying to have a life. Trying to better myself. I work a job that I enjoy. The more I work, the better I feel.  I don't have any days off but yet I want to work more. I asked to pickup extra hours but there isn't enough to go around in the factory. Supply shortages and all. I feel as if my only purpose in life is to work. I have no kids, no wife. I'm single. I've tried to apply to higher paying jobs with CSX across the country. I've been turned down constantly even when I LOVE TO WORK. I make sure to mention this in my cover letter. Oh well... 

I don't enjoy anything like I use to. I've tried new things but don't enjoy them. It's like there's no purpose in even trying to do new things. I don't understand things and never have. I have no interest in learning things because why should I if I can't remember them. I don't talk to anybody at work because I'm there to work. Not to socialize. I don't get excited for things like I use to. Maybe it's because of the depression why my memory fails me. \*shrugs\*. I've tried seeking help multiple times but as a male living in a red state. I get told "just deal with it" it's hard to deal with a mid life crisis when I don't know what I want out of life anymore. So, until then I'll just lay in my bed staring at the ceiling until it figures itself out. Whatever....