I'm 23F, turning 24 in a few weeks, and I'm literally afraid of all the things that come with working. I've worked before and enjoyed it, I worked so hard to manage myself; it all ended up going wrong bc of an abusive partner and an abortion I had, I spiralled and haven't had a long term job since.

I seem to dissociate whenever I leave the house, my hearts beats so fast in my chest; people just seem unsafe to me, it makes regulating my emotions difficult. Committing to a job and trying to hold up the facade that I'm a normal functioning adult would literally drain the life out of me; I don't know what to do at this point, it's literally making me feel hopeless.

I'm sick of my family criticising me, and having people say horrible things about my BPD; I build myself up with my own positivity just to be brought back down again by people around me, what are you meant to do in this situation? I need to be able to live and support myself.