So to get some things clear, this is a throwaway as I don't want my friends figuring this out 
And I by no means have been officially diagnosed and not diagnosing myself with the actual depression disorder, I'm just here to express what I feel with a community of people who understand me.

I'm a 15 year old kid living like a 30 year old with a family at this point 
Venting is impossible do to the lack of understanding from my parents, I always feel like I'm not enough or never useful in anything, my grades in school aren't that good, I'm a bad son, a bad friend, just bad at everything and it's killing me 
I personally don't think it's normal for a 15 year old kid who's life just started to have already tried offing himself twice, for the past few years I've been feeling nothing but sadness, I've had some good moments I guess but it's no where near enough to outweigh the negativity in my life, my parents are really trying but nothing's actually helped me before.
I keep thinking I'm a failure and a burden to society, someone; please help me.