I just started community college and I'm taking a screenwriting course. I'm enjoying the class and I'm feeling inspired to do the homework which is rare for me. In the class, we have the main script we work on throughout the semester and it's been really cool. Unfortunately one of my classmates is writing a story about what he describes as a 'bipolar/psychotic serial killer.' As someone who has had psychotic episodes and whose mental health team is trying to decide between a BPD and Bipolar diagnosis, this is uncomfortable territory for me. Especially since I've been hospitalized a few times and have had breakdowns just out of paranoia that I'll hurt someone. It's nuanced because part of me feels that I need to accept that it's not a direct attack on me and that there are many people with psychosis/bipolar who are bad people and I can separate myself from that. And part of me wants to help my classmate improve his script by suggesting this nuance I've had to accept. But it's also difficult when I'm in a midst of a conversation that reflects things I've experienced like they're a horror movie. I try to be open about my mental health struggles because I hate how taboo and stigmatized it all is but it's shit like this that makes it harder and harder. Even more layers are added because the guy in my class is an old classmate from elementary school. I think he might have a crush on me, or he might have thought I was attractive before I was revealed to be a reflection of his crazy serial killer character. This is evident because after I discussed my concerns in class he canceled plans we had to work on our scripts together. He said it was because of work but he seemed too overly apologetic for something he apparently couldn't control. It's also dumb that I even care cuz I am not interested in him romantically. But it just pains me that there's even a possibility that someone I do like in the future will act the same way. I just wanted to vent because I don't even know what I'm angry about. Just life I guess. Bluh.