I like many people with bpd am a masochist, i joined a bdsm server with the intent of finding a dom. Unfortunately, I did find one, he happened to get off of the emotional distress of others, he called it “psychological doming” which is just a cooler word for gaslighting and manipulating people. He very quickly became my favourite person despite his obviously negative traits, and he also wasnt interested in me since he had a girlfriend. He would flirt with me, and then if i confronted him about it, he would deny it to the point where i had an actual breakdown and he laughed and said “i was only teasing you, im just flirting a bit”. He was very aware of the fact that he enjoyed fucking with peoples heads and would constantly talk about it. 

And as much as i genuinely enjoy being berated, I knew this was pretty much the worst thing for my mental health. I finally decided to tell him that I needed boundries, and told him that because he was my fp, it would be best if he stopped flirting with me or trying to fuck with me, to which he simply didnt stop? he kept telling me “its so cute when you follow me around like a stupid puppy” and other things. Im so emotionally dependant on him, but i finally left the server, and when he notices im just going to tell him why, it feels like there is a knife in my chest but i need to do it, i know it will take a while to heal but this isnt any way to live, and i hope he is able to get help for his behaviour. I just needed to get this off my chest.