My older sister goes to a boarding school for super smart people. I’ve always been the ‘dumb’ one.. the ‘autistic’ one. Since she has been gone though i havnt been living in her shadow. But my friend, who my sister is also friends with said that my older soster was smoking and drinking. My sister came home this weekend and ever since she has been back so has my depression. I want to die when she’s around, and i hate myself because of her. I told my mom what my friend told me and of course my sister denied it. I got in trouble. I got punished and yelled at because i asked my mom to look into it. I want to die so bad, i cant stop hitting my self, i feel psychotic