There is a dark space in my mind where I tend to live most of my days. It used to be filled with much more light, but as time went on and people broke my trust and my heart the space became darker and darker. I’m consumed by this darkness. I’m convinced that I am unworthy of love and unworthy of light. I attempt to climb out of this darkness to feel the sun on my skin to see the light and to find the light that once shone brightly within myself, but every time I get close to feeling that light I am pushed back down in the darkness and further convinced that the darkness is where I belong, and that the light is a lie. I brought myself here, the lies I told when I was younger, the people I hurt and continue to do so. I was a fool to think I could ever leave the dark, a fool to think someone like me could ever live in the light. It was when I found my light and really held onto it that it was torn away from me abruptly and cruelly. I don’t deserve the light, I never did. I’m meant to give the light to others and help them out of the darkness, but I may not follow them. I must live out what is left of my days succumbing to the darkness and giving away what is left of my light. It was never mine to keep and I was a fool for ever thinking it was. So go and enjoy your light, enjoy the light I have given you, squander it away, flaunt it in my face and leave me to die in the dark. It’s where I belong.