so i’ve been struggling with depression since 2020 that has been continuously getting worse to this day. what seems to be new this year is that it’s hard for me to trust my feelings and what I tell myself. For two hours I might be completely confident in finding a new job/moving but then the next two hours be suicidal and want to do something really bad (whether it be involving someone or just myself). They are very dramatic swings and therefore make me have a lack of trust for pretty much anything that comes to my mind or that I feel. The issue is that the intense feelings of confidence and power are very strong and could make me apply to 10 jobs at once meanwhile the next day i’ll withdraw from each of those 10 and just all out bail. Is there ways that I can maintain a more positive stream of confidence? These swings have warped my sense of reality and myself drastically and it makes me want to log out of life in every way possible. My self trust is no where to be found and is honestly something I struggled with my entire life but now since I actually don’t have things just handed to me anymore like in my early 20’s shit is hitting the fan real bad.