we were planning on reading this comic on the internet together. my girlfriend and i are long distance, so this meant a lot to me and i thought it meant a lot to her too. i first brought it up a few weeks ago and we agreed that we would read it together sometime.

i’m too much of a coward to initiate so i waited for her to be ready. in that time i was waiting, i was getting invested in the comic without reading it. i would look at posts and fanart about the characters and feel excited for the time my girlfriend and i would read it together.

then she brought up in a conversation that she had started reading it because a friend suggested it to her. she brought it up so casually and said that while she was reading it, she had to hold back laughter, which stung more. i got upset and told her that i thought we were going to read it together. she didn’t seem bothered at all, just said “oh shit you’re right.”

i ended the conversation there and i wouldn’t stop crying. i was so angry and upset over this stupid thing, i still am. she’s apologized many times and said that she still wants to read it with me, but for some reason that isn’t enough. i feel so bad about this that i’ve deleted all the fanart i’ve saved, unsaved/unliked every post and completely erased everything that has to do with the comic because of how awful the memory that now comes with it makes me feel. at this time i feel like i can never forgive her and i know its irrational but i can’t change the way i feel.

this hasn’t really changed our relationship that much though. we still talk and love each other very much. we’re even working to be closer to each other. i love her so much but i can’t seem to move past this one thing. it still hurts to think about and makes me want to distance myself from her. i really do want to move past this.

thank you if you read this far. i could really use some advice on this.