
Three days ago i got into a chain collision, being the front car in the chain. The car who caused it got totally smashed, but my car didn’t look too bad surprisingly. Still, i hit my head and blacked out for a few seconds. When i got my vision back, i realised what had happened, and i immediately went into panic or shock. The passenger (my mom) in my car was injured too, and she can’t remember what happened during the first half of the time. My cat was also in the backseat in her cage, but luckily she’s fine. 

Anyway, my worst fear in life is losing someone i love. My mom already has enough on her plate, so seeing her in that condition completely made me lose all sense of control. I ran out of the car and immediately fell to the ground because i couldn’t breathe and everything felt surreal. I couldn’t really understand what had happened as it didn’t feel real at all. This happened during rush hour on a high speed road, so the traffic was naturally forced to stop. 

I remember laying on the ground looking at everyone sat in their cars just watching. I thought i was dying and couldn’t understand why no one was walking out of their cars to help me. Eventually it ended up being the people in the crashed car behind us who got out to help me and my mom, although they were injured too. Looking back, that makes me really angry, because they needed help too, but sucked it up to help us instead. So what everyone else was still doing in their cars is beyond me. Anyway, that’s beside the point. These people were fortunately doctors too. 

I remember running all over the place, asking the same questions over and over to people because i didn’t believe the answers i got (is she okay? Do you promise? Check the catz is the cat okay?..and so on probably x30 times in a row over and over). What’s the reason i did this so many times lol? Is it shock? My head? Panic? I was also asked to stay put, but i couldn’t do it. I also don’t think i’ve ever cried this much in my life, and i remember yelling for people to tell the paramedics to hurry while choking on my crying. 

The previous days before this and this specific day too, was already part of the most shitty days i’ve had in my life. So i think everything combined set off a crazy emotion. Eventually i heard sirens, and remember feeling the biggest relief. A fireman came up to me looking for injuries and trying to calm my panic. I’ve had panic attacks before, but they can’t even compare to this because they usually last minimum 10 minutes and are NOT this brutal. When the fireman tried to instruct my breathing, i managed for a minute or seconds before another panic attack was fired at high speed. I was shaking like crazy, and shattering teeth to the point where it felt like they were going to break. 

After 5 minutes, paramedics arrived and took over. The exact thing happened where they probably did breathing instructions 20+ times, because the panic kept rising and reoccuring. I was very close to fainting and vomiting multiple times, so i was standing in the arms of two paramedics with a huge vomit bag. Because of this and my head having been hit, they decided to take me to the hospital in the ambulance. We sat in the ambulance for a few minutes because police wanted to talk to me. While i was sat there, my panic suddenly stopped, and i remember an immense feeling of being sleepy, so i closed my eyes. Actually it felt like i was going to pass out, but then i heard the paramedic trying to get me to open my eyes and keep me awake.

Immediately a new panic attack set off, and once again the paramedics were trying to manage this. After having had a very short conversation with the police, we drove off to the hospital. It went like this all the time: I calmed down, panicked, calmed down, panicked etc. etc. I know i shouldn’t, but i feel so bad and guilty for the paramedics having to try and control this for so long. I got a CT scan at the hospital, which fortunately didn’t show anything, but it was concluded that i have a light concussion. I have light pain in my neck and lower back too, which i hope will pass. All in all, i had what seems like panic attacks hitting me with a fist in the face for almost two hours straight. At this point, doctors and paramedics were probably so tired of trying to manage this, which again i feel guilty for (i know it’s stupid, but i do. UGH.) Looking back at all of this, i guess i’m just wondering if it’s possible i really had panic attacks for that long. Why was it reoccuring? Could it be shock? A combination? My head? Why did i ask so many damn questions? And why do i feel so guilty?

TL;DR: i was in a car accident, and had an unreal experience of panic attacks?? for two hours straight. Is this normal?