Everytime I find a little bit of hope it is just taken away so quickly. I am 19 and have been through the same things most days since I was 12. Depression has allowed me to destroy almost every relationship ive had, it doesn't allow you to progress in your career or education because it debilitates you so much. People just eventually abandon you because they have little other choice. I can pinpoint certain points in my life where I went wrong and I'd give anything to rectify those situations. 

Why can nobody see I'm struggling and how do you become happy or even content with no friends and absolutely nothing going for you. How do you pull yourself out of this.

and if I could just go back and change them