I have close to zero desire to converse with anyone, I don’t care what people are up to these days and I don’t wish to talk about my state of mind because it’s the same crap every day. 

I don’t want to abandon everyone though. I don’t think isolating myself even further will be beneficial for my already declining mental health. My friend group has already been minimised to a couple of online friends. I haven’t had a friend outside the internet in years now.

There are a few rare occasions where I want to comment on something, but I don’t find it fair to only pop up once in a blue moon and ignore everything else that person said. 

I wish I was more caring and compassionate, a better friend. And that it felt more natural to be that kind of friend, instead of like a role I’m playing.