Trying to stay positive but life can really be funny sometimes. 


Childhood was full of stress and sadness.  I had a sister, mother,  father. My father was the only good thing I've ever had in my life. Thank God for him. Mothrt and sister were so aggressive. Mother was abusive, more so to me than to my sister but then my sister would turn around and take her anger out on me. She'd bully/harass me at home and in public, she'd tried to infiltrate my friend group and get my friends against me. It wasn't a typical sibling rivalry, it was much worse than that. 

Mother left when I was 13/14 and I didn't see her until about 26. My sister left when she was 18 and I was 16 (she also took 90% of my belongings w her) and I didn't see her until I saw my mother. Because they had reconnected and they have dinner and do things together now. 

Even tho my sister was a huge c**t my whole life I can't help but feel betrayed that she'd rather connect w our abusive mother than her sister that never did anything to her. 


Now she's getting married and is literally living her best life. All I ever wanted was a family/ someone who actually loved me. I've basically been alone my entire life, I've had boyfriends but never been in love. Anyway, I've hangout w her ONCE outside of dinner at my mother's house and she wants me to be a bridesmaid, I doubt I'm going to be invited to the wedding shower/Bachelorette part, so thatll be a slap in the face but at least an out. I'm almost certain i wont have a date and i know zero of her friends so ill essentially be a loner there, ive only met her fiance once for about an hour.  being around her and her friends had always given me anxietybecause i have no idea what lies shes told them, could literallybe anything.. My life is literally  a joke.