Cw: sucide plan, abusive behavior 
I just want to post in some anonymous enough place. The day after yesterday my mom threatened to kill me again. I know she won’t do it for real but the problem is it made me feel like I deserve to be killed. So then I planned my death and everything, and I thought this time it’s the real deal. I still think so, if I haven’t come up this coup then I’ll probably be a corpse by now. But I talked to a friend of mine and she suggested me just leave my parents for a while. 
And the idea of it made me feel a lot calmer. Like I haven’t thought about it ever. As an Asian I’m taught by the society that family always comes first, especially your elders. This is huge for me. My parents probably won’t support my career choice anymore, they kinda did but still hope that I’d come round, and now they want me to stick to one that make me depressive. And yeah I’m also drop out of the uno without telling them. If I show signs of that(depress)they’ll call me psycho and act like it’s all my fault that I’m sick. They don’t really take these feely stuff seriously anyway. 
I cried when my mother threatened to kill me for showing discomfort doing housework. She called me rude and some kind of rebellious but stupid and doomed to fail person. This is my way of gaining back the control of my life. Not out of spite but cause I’ll die if I stay.
So I’m here crying, my head hurts badly but still I’m gonna go through with the plan anyway. I have a place to stay, can work although haven’t got a job, have the money to survive for a month and people to support me. I’m over 18. But it’s still so painful. 
Any thoughts? Any reasons I shouldn’t or should do it? 
Sorry I’m really all over the place right now so the writing sucks.
So tldr: my parents make my extra sucidal, I’m gonna escape but I’m scared as hell.