I seem to have on and off agreements with my diagnosis especially when I feel numb or not emotional for a period of time, I’ll forget about my random crying spells that happened only a day ago. Sometimes I wonder maybe the doctors made a mistake especially since I was OK-ish(not really lol) pre-diagnosis. 

I actually found out I have a weak sense of self through my diagnosis because just her giving me the bpd  label wiped everything I knew about myself instantly and I had a dissociative crying episode the next day and had to start over from scratch and it took me almost a year to remember and be sure about who I was or any traits that I had. I still have times I’m not sure if certain traits are “mine” bc I’ve acted/thought so differently many times in the past. 

Right now, I’m getting an urge to just forget my diagnosis and tell myself I’m 100% normal and I kind of want to go through life that way. I just want to go back to before I knew what BPD was, when I was blind, I guess.