Recently I reconnected with my “high school sweetheart”. He was in the middle of trying to leave his current relationship, and I told him to fix it with her. 

We hung out a little more, and the truth came out about how we both weren’t 100% over each other. We were together for 5 years, at the time we broke up I broke him pretty hard. I started talking to someone pretty fast after, &amp; I would admit it was so I didn’t have to think about our breakup. In the moment we both wanted different things, we were finding out who we were trying to be. We were both jealous and afraid to lose each other, to the point the jealousy turned into control, and control lead me away. 

Fast forward to now: I told him to fix it with her new girlfriend of a year. I just wanted him happy. I always told him to find someone to love him in the ways I couldn’t. Maybe, back then I couldn’t give him what he wanted. Now, I’ve been through hell and back, and I’ve been in therapy I’ve worked on myself. I can communicate better by far, and I know I can love him the way he always needed to feel loved. 

We were back to seeing each other for two months. The whole time, he told me he would stop talking to this new girl. To just trust him, he wants me. He misses me, he never stopped thinking of me. He said he’s never loved anyone else like he loved me. As we grew closer I got more upset after all this time she was still blowing his phone up. I said that it feels like he puts her needs above mine, and he would tell me he wouldn’t stop talking to her because I’m being controlling. 

I found out, he was trying to be with both of us. All the lies he was telling both of us. See where I am torn, is he wasn’t this untrustworthy before. Now that he’s caught, he says he’s torn. He doesn’t want to lose us both. He loves us both. He doesn’t know who he wants. But he sits there trying to hangout with both of us still. Showing us both affection. He asks me for hugs, and I decline because it hurts knowing he’s asking her for the same. 

When do I give up? Do I keep trying? I am so close to just going silent, but I don’t want my silence to trick him into thinking I never wanted him for him to go to her because it’s easy. I’ve told him I can leave him alone to go be happy with her, and fix things and he says no and that he doesn’t want to lose me. 

This is fucking with me, and my heart and whenever I talk to him I only get “yeah I get how you feel, I understand how this is difficult” but those responses don’t help.