I tried everything to fix our relationship and because of all my attempts he fled from me.

My grandma texted him today, I don't know what she said, but since she hasn't told me anything since it's because nothing could be done.

I'm afraid to call her because it means that it's over, that I'll never see or hear him again, I'll never lay on his tights again, he will never randomly kiss me on the tip of the nose, nor pet my hair.

I didn't love him, our relationship was platonic with benefits, but I loved his friendship, he was always there after my first suicide attempt, and because my friends didn't like him I pushed him away, and nearly ruined his life.

I fucked up, and I hate myself for it. Because of this I nearly lost all my friends, only to recover them recently, started sh and tried to ksm several more times, but am stable now, and I completely lost the ideia of who I truly am, was, and want for my life.

Things are solving themselves, however it hurts knowing he won't be in my life again, goodbye K.