I could really use some guidance and support right now and also the perspective of those with bpd. My boyfriend has had a history of troubled relationships. He had a tumultuous 3 year marriage with someone who had bipolar depression. They divorced two years ago and him and I have been together for 8 months now. 

Everything was amazing for the first 6 months but the past month or so things have gone downhill. He gets angry very easily and I suggested that we go to therapy. He went to a few sessions on his own after his divorce where he was diagnosed with bpd. He stopped going after being diagnosed and refuses to accept that diagnosis. 

I've tried everything I can think of to reassure him that I won't abandon him and that I love him but it doesn't seem to help. He will scream at me and say the most awful things. My self esteem is pretty much nonexistent at this point. He threatens to leave me constantly and tells me if I tell my friends and family about what's happening he will tell them I'm the crazy, abusive one. 

I am adamant that we go to therapy as clearly he has trauma and now I have a lot of trauma from this but he says that if we go he will humiliate me in front of the therapist and that I just need to stop being a lunatic woman that cries all the time. The thing is I have never cried this much in my life. It's hard not to when the man you love says the most vile things to you and tells you that you deserve it.

I would appreciate any advice and support that you have for me. It honestly feels like such a relief to type this out because I've kept everyone in the dark about what is going on. I truly love him and don't want to lose him. It may sound stupid but he is my soulmate when he doesn't go into these intense moods.