Hi, not really sure where to start. For background, I’ve been job searching which has been driving me through the roof stress wise. I’m so nervous about starting somewhere new and learning new skills and worrying I’ll not do things right etc. My mum tries to be supportive but she has mental health issues too. We argued about work, and she told me she would kick me out if I didn’t get a job and that I am just like my brother. My brother is a big trigger for me because of things he did to me when we were kids that mum doesn’t know about and his constant need for control over me. I freaked out. Ive not had a moment like that before? I walked out of her room and screamed for her to f*ck off, slammed my door all without thinking? I had no control over what I was doing and when i realised what just happened I was sat on my floor sobbing. I don’t know what to do now. Part of me wants to leave the house, part of me wants to relapse and part of me wants to hug my mum. I’m scared of myself I didn’t feel anything I was doing until I had done it.