Hello. Not sure what to preface here. Diagnosed GAD, Major Depression, BPD. In therapy. Break up happened 5 months ago but can't stop thinking of him/likely stuck in idealization. I got a new job a month ago and was feeling pretty decent... but over a week ago everything started to grey again. I have 0 interest in talking to any of my friends anymore. I think in particular I find it annoying hearing my friends complain about such benign things. One of my friends complained she had to celebrate valentines a day later with her boyfriend who was planning a nice dinner and gifts for her. Another friend talks about her boyfriend incessantly and how she's so in love it's hard to go days without seeing him - I find it incredibly irritating. I feel like a bad person for feeling this way but their struggles just feel like a slap in the face. I wish I had their struggles. I know I am bitter but I cannot help it. I have a lot of friends (outside of the ones mentioned) and it honestly just seems exhausting having to respond to any of them. I don't know how I've made and kept this many friends over the years when it all seems so taxing. I just want to disappear without them worrying about me. What worries me is I'm afraid this 'social media break' I told them I'm taking will result in me never wanting to come back to talking to them.