I have had anxiety as long as I can remember and what bothers me (sometimes more than the actual feeling of anxiety) is the deep shame associated with it.

There are a lot of people so deeply misinformed on anxiety. I spent so much of my adolescence and into early adulthood wishing I could magically make this all go away. That if I tried to run from this feeling it would go away. 

I have been in therapy, I have been on meds and even at my best, my anxiety is still there. My brain is different, not to mention I grew up in a dysfunctional family that left with me a lot of trauma to unpack. I don’t want pity and it’s my inner work to do and I am more than capable and willing to do it but damn, have some compassion. 

I have horrible health anxiety and the pandemic has only added a-lot of gas to an already raging fire. COVID is real, this isn’t some run of the mill intrusive thought were I have a indigestion and think it’s a heart attack. It’s taken all I have to stay sane (I know like many others) I am a nurse now working in an office setting (because my anxiety was so bad I had to leave my job in the hospital). I asked my boss for my own workspace because I have not just anxiety surrounding COVID but risk factors should I become sick. Even though I am fully vaccinated, we have been seeing more cases of COVID in the fully vaccinated. No one is wearing masks and I have several coworkers who do pretty risky shit. You think I would have asked for her first born child. 

I instead am lectured about my anxiety and told to pretty much rethink my profession “because there is always going to be a threat” yeah, no shit. I tested people for COVID, I vaccinate now, I manage our active TB cases in the county. Not to mention all of the infections disease work I did while working in the hospital. It was so patronizing to me. 

Just had to rant and ask how people on here manage their anxiety so they can work?