I am writing this here because I am honestly getting sick of it, tired, and it's just nightmarish to live with but also because it's quite difficult to explain this to someone in person.

Also, because I am starting to do things that might call people's attention and, in fact, I am worried that someone has recorded me or something.

Whenever I put something in the trash can or large containers, I nearly always inevitably return a while later to inspect if I placed it correctly or if I didn't put anything I should not have.

I am overly paranoid of placing stuff where it shouldn't go, not closing trash bags and all that...

And today I literally went to attempt to retrieve an empty bag I had accidentally put in the large container, and you should imagine how funny I probably looked trying to reach it, but it was too deep. I was going to throw another bag anyway so I kind of used it as an excuse not to look that weird, but now I am anxious that someone had noticed my recurrence and recorder me or anything. This was very early in the morning and there was nobody in sight, but then again there are a lot of windows overlooking this area as this is a residential building.

I am also writing this to read myself and see if I am being too paranoid and also because of my fear of being ridiculed for this.

Overall I have a very bad time with trash, and I feel anxious constantly about it.

What do you think?