For a while now I feel like I’ve been getting worse and worse as time goes on. I’ve recently been trying to find a new therapist and psychiatrist to try to get my life back on track. The other day I rear-ended someone and it was totally my fault because I get easily distracted. The woman was great and neither of us are hurt but my car is absolutely destroyed and may be totaled. I only had this car for 4 months so I’m hoping to get enough money from insurance to pay off the loan but that might not even happen. I don’t have the money to put down on a new car nor even buy a cheap used car as I’ve been paying off credit cards instead of saving anything. My credit also isn’t amazing but it’s not bad either, but still the idea of trying to get a car with no cosigner isn’t ideal. Everyone has been telling me to stay positive or people have it worse and I get that but since that day I will burst out crying when I don’t even feel it coming. I keep thinking about the accident thinking how can I be so stupid because I ruined such a large part of my daily life. What makes me feel even worse is that my step dad gave me the down payment for this car and I feel like I wasted it and deep down he’s very upset with me. I feel like I can’t even focus on getting help right now because of this whole situation. The scariest part is that I’ve never wished I was dead more than these past few days. I know I would never hurt myself because I don’t want to die, but I just don’t want to deal with any of this right now. I don’t know if I will ever feel better about this. Has anyone ever been in an accident while going through depression?