I have Sexual fantasies of hurting my "partner" while we have sex, I would like to make her cry, burn her with cigarettes etc. I do not feel that it is normal but I have recently thought about it ... it must be quarantine but it is mixed with suicidal thoughts since it makes me want to kill myself by overdose.
Really really Strange i'm only 19.
It's all on my mind 
So That's why i'm writing here, this is my first post so i'm looking for some good advice