I've been thinking about going to therapy since last year when I started to feel like I can't go through this by myself anymore.  I never had the courage to do it but last months were so bad that after 3 weeks full of crying and failing classes, my friend took my phone and texted the therapist she is seeing. 

All this anxiety and rage (that my friend basically forced this) gave me a burst of energy so today I booked an appointment on wednesday. 

Now I feel a mix of emotions, all at once. Anxiety, fear, shame and relief. 

I don't even know what should I expect or what should I say. I wish they will ask questions and not just expect me to tell my life story. I could write that I guess and just send them a mail but I may have an actual  panic attack and cry for hours if I'll have to do it face to face 

I'm hiding it from my parents. Mostly because they will bully me and emotionally abuse me until I eventually give up. I feel like it's already too late for me and I rarely have moments like this, when I have some hope. One more "joke" and I'm done I can't take it anymore.