Went to see the psych doc and as always left feeling like crap. 
When asked what has changed to improve my routine of doing things everyday it's like I'm doing this to myself on purpose. Chastised because I'm not on medication. 

I feel like my life is pointless all the time. I'm upset and trapped in this shitty existence. Well why don't you go for a walk.....???

It's like being told off for feeling like absolute crap. I don't know how to make things better. I have a joyless life and I don't know how to make everything better. 

Get a routine or nothing will get better. Being told I'm not making any effort to make my life better. If I knew how to feel better it would help. I don't ever feel happy. This existence means constant anguish and my appointments just further intensify how horrible I feel. 

How can I make a routine when I have nothing to fill the time.