I've already broken down once, and feel as though I'm on the verge of doing it again. 

Even though I'm overwhelmed with pain right now, I also feel numb and emotionless. It's like all that's left in me is the pain, even though I'm not sure what it's from. 

I feel the urge to cry again, but for no real reason. Nothing bad happened today. I was fine until an hour ago, when I came to the realization that all of my time is either spent at work or lying in bed, so I attempted to force myself to be productive.

Surely the concept of being productive at home and not just at work couldn't have pushed me over the edge like that, right?... 

Nobody died this year, and sure, I lost my only friend recently, and my financial situation is terrible right now, but I've lost friends and money before too. 

I just started a new medication maybe a week or two ago? But that wouldn't make me feel worse.. would it?

Maybe I'm just a bad adult.