I’m experiencing DPDR at the moment according to my doctor. It’s quite overwhelming. Yesterday I had a good day and was able to distract myself and keep busy. 

But I woke up in a complete panic at about 4am and had a panic attack. It was awful and kept me awake for hours. And now every time I fall asleep I wake up not long after with this overwhelming ‘I don’t feel like I’m here’ sort of sinking feeling and it is horrible. 

It’s not a case of I think I’m watching myself out of my body or whatever. I literally feel like I’m not really here on earth right now, like I don’t exist.  It’s very distressing and it varies in severity so every time I think I’m feeling/getting better it hits me and pulls me back in.  

I just need to rant I guess. I hold onto the good days but I hate the bad days so much 😢