I am glad to now be considered recovering but something always stays with me. I now have this whole history of mental health behind me in a small town where everyone thinks I am crazy, let alone the fact that I am gay. I have just accepted the fact that no one will love me. I’ve gone through the hookups and shit but all I want is some to tell me they love me and hold me because now one else has done that for me since everything started. I need someone to have physical contact with and to tell me things will be okay. It is really the only thing I want, but I know I may never have.