Sigh. 

I’m proud of myself but I hate this sadness I’m feeling. 

I had a bad problem with splitting on my FP until a few weeks ago. Lately I’ve been doing much bttr with coping and not attacking him like that anymore. We had a weird spat last weekend that resulted In him “snapping” at me. 

Nothing big. But it sure as shit shattered the pedestal I had him on. Since then I know he is still my FP. But my feelings aren’t as..... intense now??? 

Idk. Maybe I needed that to happen. Tbh I’ve rlly been wanting this FP thing to die down cuz it’s been making me go crazy for the past two months almost. 

Last night he posted something to his story. But hasn’t replied to me. He did this once two months ago and I went APE SHIT. Omg. 

But this time. I didn’t go crazy. I didn’t get angry. I didn’t split. I felt a little sad. But he’s been fairly consistent to this point so I jst told myself like well. Let him have his space n time. 

I saw earlier he was active n still no reply. To stop me from spiraling I turned off my notifications. 

And idk. I think I’m going about this well. I’m doing all the things I need to to keep my sanity. 

I jst hate this sad feeling.....