Recently life has been considerably harder than prior years for me. My dad died a few months ago and since then I've struggled to cope with the reality that nothing will ever be as it was again. When I was younger my parents would always say "Dont try growing up too fast, you'll miss being a kid", obviously they probably meant bills and general life responsibilities and at 16 I dont have much of either. However, recently as everything has shifted and changed in my life and it no longer feels worth the constant pain and misery, I have found myself thinking back and wishing/pleading with god to allow me to experience an ounce of that once blissful past. I miss everything about my childhood, even the bad shit id do anything to live in a car with my mom and dad again. Id do anything to hustle up some money with my mom again if it meant I got to spend time with someone who loved and cared about me. Things are so much more difficult when blissful child ignorance is no longer blinding you.