I don't know if it's love, if just our energy just clicked, but it's really weird. I have BPD too and it's...gosh I don't know how to explain that. When I'm with him, it's like heaven and hell and we can share everything and he has awesome friends and so on...

We don't have relationship. We are just friends, who are fucking with each other and other people. I needed to rename him to "His name - don't make him your FP" in my mobile phone.

Today we split on each other. I was too snarky and maybe mean, but since I'm on antidepressants, I can't recognize it in myself anymore and I need to learn how to cope with my new brain. Plus I have new job, I'll get a divorce, my soon to be ex husband is my friend now and I'll be an festival artist.

I feel so confused about him. He's like me, but in man version. I'm afraid he doesn't like me. But he does, but in different way than I do. I live him, but I don't. I'm just attached and I don't want to be.

I just want to have someone to annoy all the time...you know what I mean?