I'm having some issues with some friends, who are all online. I started having them some time ago when some friends were joking about suicide and I asked that they not do that and didn't explain why, only to do it privately.

Over the last two months, I've been completely upset because one friend just went silent on me. She barely talks to me and I keep apologizing for whatever I did. Finally, yesterday, she told me she wasn't mad at me but she doesn't know how to talk to me. And she told me that when people confront her about stuff, it makes her lose her sense of self. And that "assholelesbian is allowed to talk about off topic limits but others aren't, i'm not the only one who feels this way" but I don't remember when I talked about "off topic" limits (which for me is suicide and assault)??? She didn't expand on who talked to her about that, about me.

But I apologized, said I'd do better and she hasn't answered. And now I'm completely hype focused on this that I can't calm down and I feel very stuck in my head on this. I showed my friend screenshots and she thinks it went over well, but I don't know.

I feel abandoned or like I'm being abandoned. I don't know.