I've been diagnosed with BPD, PTSD &amp; Anxiety for the past 7 years, no depression according to my therapists. Currently unmedicated.

Well, the past weekend I triggered myself into BPD+Anxiety "episode" due to being a dumb-ass, fun stuff. The whole "episode" didnt last long, 2-2 and a half days, and my partner was with me the whole time. It was the first "episode" he was with me from start to finish, and he tried his best but nothing helped me until it just passed on its own. In the past I would end up harming myself to quiet the emotional pain, and thats the only thing that helped to bring me back to reality. He said it was impossible to communicate with me since I was so shut down, and simple phrases like: "I love you", "I'm here with you, I wont abandon you", "You're amazing and beautiful" - just seem to aggravate and make me spin even deeper into self loathing and abandonment anxiety. Distraction also didn't work, since my head is so chaotic and its impossible for me to consentrate on anything but the voices in my head. We tried to talk about what was going on inside me, what I was feeling and thinking, and it didnt go so well either, since in my mind he was the enemy at that time. So he just ended up being physically there for me, embracing me, holding my hand and let me cry as much as I needed. 

I wanted to know, when your BPD is acting up (and high anxiety), is there anything that helps you sooth yourself and get out from "that state"? Is there anything your partner/friends/family do that help you? I didn't find anything on the topic through google honestly, and the BPD stigma most article host just kills me.