Living like this is unbearable even on medication. When I'm manic I'm unable to sleep, yet I'm full of so much energy. I'm extremely narcissistic and cruel. I hurt the ones I love in more ways than one. I blow my money on stuff I shouldn't. I'm addicted to sex and seeking the wrong kind of attention. When I'm depressed I feel hopeless. Lost. Tired. I feel incredibly tired and lazy. I can barely get out of bed. I feel incredibly low. I'm sick of this shit.