Hey everyone! I am new to this sub and new to being diagnosed with bipolar. Due to this I am still trying to figure out what is and is not due to being bipolar if that makes sense? The biggest thing is I tend to talk out loud a lot, I don't even notice I am doing it. Sometimes talking to someone I will start a sentence with no idea where it is going and then just stop for instance "So i was thinking..." and then I'll tell them never mind and they want to know what I was going to say, yes ***I*** don't know what I was going to say. I'll be walking on my college campus and then talking to myself and I get strange looks. I also will say "I hate myself" out loud constantly or repeatedly say I love you to my boyfriend. All of these feel like a compulsion or like I don't even know I am saying it until it's too late. I can't stop it or help it. I hope this makes sense. It is also interuptive in class and it has gotten me in trouble. Luckily I am not usually talking in full volume when I am in class, talking to myself it is more mumbling but it is enough for my profs to notice at times like during a test. If there is a question that is stressing me out I tend to repeat it out loud over and over mumbling it and talking myself through it. I have been accused of cheating and at the time I did not know I had bipolar. These behaviors have not stopped since starting medications a few months ago maybe they never will? I have been doing it since at least high school if not earlier. I genuinely feel very confused about bipolar as a whole and what is related to my diagnosis and what isn't if that also makes sense? I feel like I do not know how to express myself yet when talking about bipolar, I am not good at talking about it. Please feel free to tell me anything you have learned about bipolar or yourself since having your diagnosis. Also any advice is always welcomed :)