I don’t know which flag to use, sorry.

Well, actually, I think every single one of my friends secretly hates me. I want to talk to them but then I “realize” I'm the only one who cares about the friendship (false, they do care…  I don't know why I start thinking that). I get really anxious, crying every night because the thought of being alone again terrifies me.

But I feel like I will bother them even more if I ask them, I just wait a couple of days and they talk to me, them I feel even worse because I know everything I feel is not real, I feel like a crave attention but at the same time I don’t ask about the situation or say that I’m feeling bad, I start overthinking: “If I ask them, they will think I only do this for attention, they will be angry” so I shut my mouth and get even more anxious. 

I feel like I will ruin everything all over again.

Sorry for my bad english.