it was really messy and toxic, logically i should hate them for what they put me through time and time again. but i always forgave them every time they came back. this time it's truly over (not my decision but deep down i'm glad). my friends hate them, my psychiatrist hates them, i wish i could hate them. i'm wondering if i'll ever get over my fp? it's a mix of recovering from trauma and losing my fp. they were my first fp and my first love (i think at least). i'm in such a bad headspace right now.