I (29f) have a friend whom I spend a lot of time with. A few weeks ago I asked her if she thinks I have anger issues because I was wondering about that and wanted an honest opinion. She said "to be honest, I think you have a borderline personality." I did some research and some of it sounds like me but not everything.

I have anxiety and anger that seems disproportionate to a situation. I've gotten unreasonably angry at people, especially people at work, but I would never hurt anyone and I'm good at keeping such feelings hidden. I've had full blown panic attacks when my boyfriend has seemed mad at me, even though every time he acts like that he goes back to normal within a few hours and acts loving again.

I've had a tendency to get jealous my whole life. Mostly over love interests but friends too on a couple of occasions. For example I had a Zumba instructor in 2013 whom I formed a friendship with even though she's 20 years older than me. Once I got upset because she called my friend in the class  her "favorite girl" (I didn't say anything to anybody). Right now I feel jealous of my boyfriend's friend. I know he doesn't love her romantically but the other day he apologized to her for not being able to tip her (she's a bartender) and he felt like "such a piece of s***" but didn't apologize to me after an argument where his words cut like a knife. It didn't seem fair, but I feel bad for being jealous of her because I like her as a person. When things are good between my boyfriend and I they're super good so I could never leave him.

I've had thoughts of suicide on a couple of occasions. In late 2016 I lost a job, got ghosted by a boyfriend and had bad seasonal depression. Then a couple years later I lost another job and was afraid I'd never be financially stable and would burden my parents forever. Fortunately I was rational enough to get help.

I know upbringing can be a factor but I was raised just fine. I've always been close with my parents. Can mental illness such as Borderline be hereditary? Any thoughts/advice would be appreciated.