The last time I spoke to anyone about bpd was when I was first diagnosed at 18 after multiple hospitalizations. I don't blame the people who knew about my episodes for not understanding but I never felt like they cared and tried to understand. Since then, I'm now 24 and don't have any real friends. I hide my bpd and pretend I'm happy. Because of this I can't genuinely connect to people but at the same time I can't open up because it never helps and people just don't get it. I'm so sick of pretending and suffering in silence. Feel like my bpd has become my whole identity and I'm cursed. I feel so alone.