I wish I didn't have developmental trauma, leaving me with the mind of a teenager and being very behind in life for my age.

I wish I had best friends that I had since childhood and that I could share all my secrets to and call them at 2am.

I wish I had parents that were capable of loving, supporting, and seeing me for *who I actually am*.

I wish my parents weren't raging narcissists.

I wish the abuse I endured wasn't so invisible.

I wish I wasn't primed to allow my peers to treat me like shit.

I wish people didn't say, "but she's your mother! / but he's your father!"

I wish my siblings understood and acknowledged that I was the outcast of the family.

I wish I wasn't punished for being LGBT+ and mentally ill.

I wish I had teachers that reached out when they saw I was struggling.

I wish I had a support system instead of going at it alone.

I wish I had a friend group that I felt at home in.

I wish people without mental illness understood how much pain I was in.

I wish the meds would work.

I wish I didn't feel the need to kill myself.

I wish the world wasn't so fucked up.

I wish I could finally be freed from my depression.

I wish I could be one of the happy ones.

I wish everything wasn't so hard.

I wish I was functional enough to complete school or hold a job.

I wish I wasn't at the mercy of my own body, constantly exhuasted and aching.

I wish I felt capable, instead of feeling like an imposter 24/7.

I wish I didn't have to mourn the life I never got.

&amp;#x200B;

Please don't tell me "the grass is always greener" or "you can't change the past." It's not helpful at all. I'm just venting and feeling a lot of grief right now.