I dont date, and my thoughts on my sexuality are insanely messed up. With my insanely impulsive behaviour and drug use, the things i watched were so extreme, I started watching things that are EXTREME and dont match with my sexual orientation i consider myself (a straight guy). I go through phases i feel like im questioning myself and feel like im bi or gay. Nothing is extreme enough anymore. I cant get attracted to women anymore, its not stimulating enough. emotionally i know i would want a relationship with a woman... but regular sex is so understimulating compared to my extremes im used to. It has to be extreme... which by now basically the only thing that gets me enough of a rush is things that dont match with my sexual orientation. I feel so numb. Im so confused. I just want to die because of this, im so fucking confused.