Trigger warning ⚠️ 

Lately I’ve been in a really bad depressive episode. Everyday I want to self harm and commit suicide. I haven’t self harmed in a while and haven’t attempted suicide in a while either. 

It feels weird to say I want to die but I’m afraid of death itself. I used to self harm everyday and have 35 cut marks on my body. I hate them but some are fading away. I hide them, I almost never wear a shirt sleeve in public or to work unless it’s super hot.

I really want to go jump off a building or buy a gun but I didn’t. Despite the multiple voices in my head telling me to kill my self and my self hatred.