So I really feel bad about this decision I made months ago. It took me months do realize it. I shared some details about my sex life to a minor through the Reddit chat and now I feel ashamed and stupid but my judgement wasn’t very good in that moment. Not that excuses anything as I was 22 and should’ve known better.

For some context of what led to this decision. I had gotten in a fight with my bf that got really ugly and it shocked me to the core because my bf said some really harsh things  and he was never like that. It broke me heart and I had already been feeling a little depressed the last few days and this threw me overboard.

I was feeling fully depressed after the fight which wouldn’t stop the whole night and I started to have suicidal thoughts, then those thoughts turned into self harming (cutting). I went onto the suicide watch Reddit here and made a post desperately asking to talk to someone and that I was feeling suicidal. Shortly after I got someone in my chat box. They I introduced themselves as a 17 male and I said I was 22F. He said that suicidal thoughts suck and wanted to help me out and listen to what I had to say.

I did mention that my story was a little NSFW and if that was ok and said he was almost going to be 18 anyways. I honestly didn’t think it through at all and I feel like if I wasn’t so depressed and suicidal in the moment I probably wouldn’t be so agreeable. I was so desperate to talk to someone.

I didn’t want to call a suicide hotline because I thought because I was only cutting myself and not actively doing anything that’s more deadly. Also I’ve heard that suicide hotlines read off scripts which makes it seem like they wouldn’t really care about you. I had my doubts regardless. I can’t confirm this since I’ve never called.

I wasn’t thinking logically at all and I needed to calm down. I then told him I would try and keep it PG 13. So the fight between my bf and I started because I asked him if we could try something different in the bedroom because my libido had been low for a month and sex was boring. He got defensive and it escalated to these events. 

Whoever that guy was saved my life. And my bf did apologize later. I don’t know if it’s just my anxiety but I feel ashamed and guilty all of a sudden because i shared those details with a minor. I didn’t fully register that whole event I just felt desperate for help. I should’ve been more responsible since I was the adult.

I’m hoping you guys can give me some perspective because I’m honestly back and forth and can’t think straight.