I had a breakdown from stress a couple months ago and thought that I had eliminated the source of the stress but now I've been left with worsening anxiety ever since. 

And now it seems to have decided to fixate on food. It briefly fixated on cleaning and organizing and feeling inadquate about not finishing moving in all the stuff to my new place, and then it briefly fixated on thinking I was being haunted or something. But now that it's fixated on food I feel like I am spiralling out of control. 

I keep having times where I get so anxious that I throw up, or so anxious I gag because my throat gets so tight, which makes me scared to eat. But I'm hungry and I want food. And for a while I was just making myself eat but then I started to get so stressed about eating that I could barely get anything down. 

I've been able to eat this last week only by trying to distract myself reading about anxiety, or have someone else order something so I dont think about it, etc. But making any decisions about cooking or thinking about eating or cooking, and even just being hungry triggers me and makes me spiral into these horrible racing thoughts of self doubt. Like I believe I won't be able to keep it down or if I know ahead of time what I'll be eating I psyche myself out until I don't want it or believe I can't eat it or that it'll make me sick again. And all this anxiety compounds until I actually do make myself sick just from the stress. 

I'm caught in this vicious loop and I don't know how to get out. I started taking an anti anxiety and antidepressant medication but they're only helping a tiny bit. I just don't know how to control my thoughts. I've already used all of my sick time at work and don't want to lose my job because I keep having terrible anxiety and even had days where I could only bring myself to eat liquids for days. This is all making me terribly depressed and I feel like the life I was building is just going to slip away if I can't control myself and get back on track.

I just wish my anxiety would fixate on something that isn't so important. 

Have you gone through something like this or have any advice? I can't buy take out forever or expect others to baby me. I have to be able to get my own food together and eat it like a normal human