CW: abuse ?

I find myself constantly analyzing his behaviours and trying to figure out if it’s abuse. And when it is abuse I think I should leave. Like if my bf yells at me once I’ll think that he’s an abusive person 24/7 and that I need to escape. Sometimes I stay up at night googling if I should leave. It stresses me out. And when I try to talk to him abt it and wanting to leave he says it’s my bpd and that I blow things out of proportion. Other times he says sorry and agrees that his behaviours were mean. i have no idea if that’s true or not. Like what if I manipulated him into thinking he’s the bad guy? And I’m wondering if it really is my bpd or if it’s him? What if I’m manipulating whoever is reading this text rn and no matter what I’ll never get a clear answer on if I should leave or not because I have bpd :(