When I was in a bad place mentally and having personal family and friend conflict issues I would use reddit as kind of like a diary and for support and would then delete the posts and I recently found out all these posts are archived on other sites even tho they're deleted on reddit and on some of the accounts I posted some photography that I had also posted on other social media and I am terrified someone is going to dox me and find those posts and link them to me with the bad things I said about my family which were written from emotional mental states are now resolved and I regret it because I love my family and we have moved on but I can't stop thinking about what if someone I know finds them and puts the pieces together judges me and the bad things I said that I didn't mean and think I'm a terrible person. Like I keep imagining someone having all my posts in front of me and having me explain and apologize. Like with people being canceled I get so scared.

I obsessively look online to see where else these might be and try to get them removed but from one site I can't and I'm even scared if I request it'll do like the Streisand effect. I wish I never knew about these sites and I can't stop feeling guilty. Like I knew there might be a cache somewhere but now I can find all my old posts and I'm just really scared and a therapist hasn't helped me at all because she just told me "stop f*ing looking at reddit"

It's been 5 months since I found this out and I'm terrified I can't stop thinking about it and feeling like a bad person for the rest of my life no matter what I do this will be in my mind forever.