As I said, I got the urge to push everyone away. At that moment I had 3 people who were my FPs on different levels. And I decided to push them all away at once. But one girl is a very kind and good person. I told myself not to do it to her, but then did it anyway. 

After few days of suffering alone I texted her. She listened to me and said she's gonna stay with me. So far so good. But, after a few days I realized that, she has stopped Calling me honey, babe, love, hun etc. And it hurts a lot. She used to say cute things. But now, it's all gone and it's because of me. Idk how to deal with this. Fuck my life.