TW: depersonalisation, depression etc.

I  don’t even know why. I had to wake up my dad last night to ask him if I was real. This morning I cried in his arms because I don’t know what to do.

It started at one intrusive thought, I wondered if I was even real and if I was in purgatory because everything felt so off. I can’t stop crying and I get anxious whenever I leave my room. I am too young to lose my sanity

I have a really bad blocked ear from yesterday swimming at 6pm (its 10am now), which I am wondering if one altered sense is throwing me off the edge.

Tears are falling onto my screen as I write this. I am worried I am going to go crazy and hurt someone. I know I won’t now but what if I go proper mad? 

Everything has accumulated over time. My coworkers mistreatment of me, my anxiety and depression, my physical health issues, my childhood. I don’t kmow how to handle it all and I just feel so unstable, I am in hysterics. I think I am just breaking down and I can’t stop crying.

Whenever I leave my room to talk, to anyone, I start crying which makes me wirried for Christmas day tomorrow. I don’t want to hurt anyone by crying i fear im going insane

Please help me