I feel like my life is already past the point of fixing. I am completely, absolutely stuck and trapped. I have a small business that was thriving before COVID. A few months into the pandemic, all our savings were gone, our credit cards maxed out, and we took a six figure sba loan to keep our business alive in belief things would “get better.”
Almost two years later, we are drowning in debt and things are still nowhere close to normal. We’ve lost clients simply because the pandemic makes people want to sell and keep their money. My spouse and I had a wonderful baby, who we’ve had to bring to work with us and have missed so much time and focus for him because we’re always fighting to keep our business alive. I feel like COVID has robbed me of my future, time with my baby, and the happy and positive person I used to be. I feel like I hate everyone (except spouse and baby) and the world is a cruel, unfair and   Hopeless place. Even if things do “get better” we have a six figure hole to climb out of, and I will never be the person I once was (and was really happy to be). I don’t want to pass this negativity on to my baby, but I don’t see any hope in this world. I don’t see a way out, or a way for us to ever be successful or comfortable or happy or hopeful ever again. Maybe this is just how life is, and I was lucky enough not to know it until now. And I have to keep going bc I’m a parent. I just don’t get what the point is aside from feeling like a failure and suffering.