i went to the cinema today with friends and  at first it was ok but when  i looked at the time on my phone i felt an anxiety rising inside of me and i feel like there is a lot of tears inside of me that i  couldn't let them out , i am so rushed by the school work and i almost fail everytime to do it !   
i feel like if death happens to me now it will actually save me not like depriving me from a life that i don't really want in any aspect ! 

also theres the overwhelming feeling of being in a crowd that might have triggered something in me idk