I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and recently he has gotten closer with one of his friends and talks about him all the time. His friend has a lot of features i find physically and emotionally attractive, he is a nice person overall and has BPD. I’ve never spoken to him but my bf has mentioned me to him a few times and he wished me well when i had a migraine. I started having dreams about him and thinking about him a lot, i check his social medias, and make myself upset by going through his likes - classic crushing behaviour. 

Me and my boyfriend have been having a rocky time and he almost broke up with me the other day. I love him and we have fun together but i know it’s not what i want long term. Part of me scared to leave because then I won’t have closer access to this other guy. Part of me knows it’d be a bad idea to get with the new guy and he probably wouldn’t like me anyway 

I am so CONFUSED