She repeatedly tells me that I'm the only thing keeping her here on earth, instead of joining my older sister and grandma up in heaven, and that's just extra weight on my back, but then my mom will act all tough and strong and not want to talk about anything, then the next day break down crying about how she has to "stay strong" and can't "be weak or a failure" ...
  
Meanwhile I just got a new job and I'm nervous if I can juggle 48 hours of work and school