Sometimes I’ll walk outside for the first time in one day or be driving to work and suddenly get this creeping feeling of suspicion. Almost like the world around me is fake or plastic. It’s not quite dissociation (which I’ve experienced intermittently in the past) because I feel grounded and in control of my body. 

It’s like I’m paranoid about the state of the world, paranoid about my relationship to my surroundings. It almost seems as though there is a barrier separating me from experiencing the authenticity of reality. Not sure if this is just a manifestation of my depression fueled feelings of isolation/disconnection but it is just strange how sudden the suspicion comes and goes.

I’ve noticed this paranoia a lot more since the pandemic started and it isn’t drastically affecting my life, but usually after acknowledging the paranoia I become really sad and cry. Does anyone else experience this or something similar?