Tbh life has been stressful with the amount of times I procrastinate to the amount of homework I have to catch up on to the amount of things I have going through my head. I have a constant feeling of hopelessness over me and everytime I feel even the tiniest bit happy that's all crushed by bad thoughts or stress. I hate being like this it makes everything more fucking harder and it's really putting a bunch of pressure on me. I try and do things but never do them. I try and stay happy but that never happens. I try and stay calm that doesn't happen. I try and cry that doesn't happen. All this built up emotions break me down and then build me up to break me down again. Happiness is hard for me and so is everything else. I just wanna quit. Give up. Stop caring. End myself. But I can't I can't do any of that. I'll hurt people I love and I'll feel weaker than I am. I've tired and tired and tried over and over and over again to do anything and everything and it's making me hurt everyday. I just wanna be happy just once. I wanna feel calm and collected and feel like I can have a day to be stress free. Everything every little fucking thing makes me stress even if a tiny little easy thing. It's hard for me to go to sleep. Then it's hard for me to wake up. I feel mentally and physically exhausted everyday even if I'm doing nothing. I want this all to end but I can't seem to do anything about it.