I had 6 months of intensive CBT therapy last year. I also had 1 year of outpatient DBT therapy in 2015. I still act, and feel, like a 12-year-old. The truth is, I don't know HOW to break out of this cycle. Everything I say causes others to lash out at me. Diplomacy is not my strong suit. I also suspect I have Avoidant Personality Disorder, and NPD traits, of the covert type. 

I am trying, very hard, to change, but just about every interaction I have with others is negative, and leaves me feeling shameful, angry, and unfairly treated. Dammit, I'm 43 years old. I can't afford therapy, so I gotta rely on forums and meds. Everything I'm doing in my life right now is geared towards earning a better living so I can finally afford therapy. That means I NEED to learn how to not be a spider. Spiders, when cornered, curl up into a ball and retreat from the threat, or they run to a dark place and hide. That's what I do. On occasion, if they're just plain tired of hiding, the spider will lash out and bite the offender. I do that, too, depending on the situation. 

A better way to be is probably the grasshopper, who leaps high in the air to get closer to the sun.