My gf, who has BPD, and I have been dating in a long distance relationship for 2 1/2 years now. We've been through a lot together in learning how to best respond to each other. For a time we'd be obsessive spending all day and not together instead of taking care of ourselves or our responsibilities. It was exciting living like that, especially sexually, but for our mental health it wasn't sustainable. 

Now we're much more stable but we've been together without having ever met for a while now. She's described our relationship: "It's boring but the part of me that wants the drama isn't looking to be healthy."

The issue we're having seems to be that there's less excitement in the relationship now. She's struggling to become aroused whenever we're having sex. Furthermore she's having intrusive sexual thoughts about past relationships that are deeply disturbing for her.

I suppose what I'm looing for is insight into LDR or BPD relationships in general. How do I maintain a healthy sex life together while preserving the stability that we've worked so hard to reach?

Thanks so much for everyone who took time to read this!