My therapist said it was good I recognized I wasn’t ready for a relationship, it’s a sign that I am able to make decisions that are best for my health. 

But I *just wish* I was ready to let people in. 

This guy was so sweet. The complete opposite of my ex, and we got along great and I enjoyed being around him. But I can’t help but get anxiety just thinking about being with someone, anyone, and feeling that sense of responsibility and deep connection-when it feels like no one can truly understand how I feel when my anxiety hits.

How do you explain to someone that…it’s not you…I swear! Or that…I’m sorry I need a moment to myself to get ready for the day, no I don’t want to cuddle or have morning sex. Or…I can’t tell if I’m frustrated with you, want to break up with you, love you, or if my anxiety is just confusing all my thoughts. 

So I broke it off. Because as much as I want it, the stomach pains and the brain fog were too strong for this relationship to hold together.