Spent 5 years distracting myself/doing nothing after Graduating.

Now I'm putting in 8+ hours a day working towards a portfolio grad job.

Even though I'm working positively toward a goal, all I think about is all the wasted time and regret as well as facing all the obstacles of having to learn too much.

I've cried 5 different times today. IDK what to do. I can'tstop