Im in a relationship right now with someone I've fallen in love with, things are going well. The sex is good, we both meet eachother's needs, I really do love this guy, but my brain always wants to prepare for him to break up with me or cheat on me in a huge explosive emotional bang and that I always have to have my guards up.  I constantly imagine scenes of it happening, what would I say or do? What would it look like? 

Like even when we have the most amazing day together I go home and add to my "breakup" playlist so that I''m ready for when this all crumbles down. But the thing is rationally, i'm literally fine and I don't need to put myself through all this pain but I still choose to.

Idk probably just venting.