for one she asked me in a almost suspicious/defensive way what makes me think i have bpd, so it tripped me up.

she asked me where i read about bpd. and i said i accessed the dsm-5 online and went through the symptoms. then all she kept saying was “that’s bad, that’s really bad, the worst thing you can do is self diagnose.” and then she went on to say that “normal people should never have access to the dsm-5 criteria”, which made me uncomfortable because why do you want to withhold accessible medical assistance from people?

i brought up my paranoia, my fluctuating emotions (that leads to me viewing people as perfect or leads to me viewing people as evil, and so i lash out or become defensive, and once i come back down from that i feel guilty/self harm). she told me that bpd has nothing to do with paranoia, and that i am describing bipolar disorder.

then throughout the session, she victim blamed me for living with someone who abused me. just an awful experience all around that makes me never want to get therapy again and just live my dysfunctional life.