I pushed the guy that I love very very far away. 

I am spiraling. It’s been a month since I ended up in an emergency room being treated for taking too much Tylenol and trying to die.

I have never felt this deeply about someone before. 

Not like this. 

I don’t have any hatred towards him - just hatred towards myself.

I’m panicking and I’m tired of being this way.

I wish someone could come hold me. I just. We’d to be held sometimes. 

Fuck I feel so stupid