I've struggled having close friends for years and since high school I haven't had one close friend besides the person I dated at the time. No matter how much I get to know people and make the effort to make plans it just never works out. Friendships are always a one way straight for me and I realize that being alone makes me feel better.

I've gone through to many years of being used by people and being manipulated with and I'm done. Just recently my cousin keyed my car and I trust absolutely no one. She was my best friend since I was a kid. I started becoming best friends with her friend and things were great the first month and now im getting annoyed by her. Most of the conversations I have with people are pointless because people never shut the fuck up about themselves. She realized she was doing it at least but everytime I try talking about myself she never says anything about what I have to say, thus making conversations short.

Fuck people. I hate wasting my breath talking to people that don't care about me. That will eventually use me down the road and it will be for nothing anyways. I'm done apologizing to people when I'm in the wrong but for others they can never admit their mistakes. The worst is when they convince you that you're an asshole and that there's something wrong with you, but there isn't...