I am literally incapable of having insight when I’m psychotic. Once I start losing it, things I can’t explain at the time start happening and I’m like “That’s irrefutable proof right there, guess I was never really crazy. Might as well stop taking meds, disconnect from my doctors/friends, and do whatever they tell me because they mean me real harm.” It’s VERY frustrating because  I don’t reach out for help on my own. My family has to force me and I just play along. But I’m living by myself now which is great. I’m just worried that if it happens again I’m toast.