Hi all, so I’m going to preface this with a trigger warning because I will be mentioning su*cide.

Recently I’ve been going through a really, really rough patch. My mood swings are beyond intense and it’s been destroying me. I’ve been having the worst intrusive thoughts I think I’ve ever had, especially those surrounding suicide. I’ve always struggled really badly with suicidal ideation and thoughts, it’s something I’ve never been able to get much control over. This feels like the closest I’ve been to acting on it and I’m trying to do this project to essentially distract myself enough that I don’t follow through. 

I’ve been playing around with the idea for a while, but I’m starting a little ‘foundation’ of sorts which I plan on calling ‘after the fact’, in reference to suicide having been a criminal offence in the past and how it’s still viewed by many. I just want to create a safe space for people who have suicidal thoughts and intrusive thoughts about ending their life - whether it’s happened once or it’s every day for 10 years. I find that we get told to ‘talk about it’ if you’re feeling suicidal, but when it’s brought up we’re often told that we need to stay alive for loved ones or that things do get better. Now, there’s nothing wrong with that - but it’s not practical advice. And often times, when it’s brought up to loved ones they don’t really have the tool set to know what to do with that information.

I’m planning on creating a series of hand embroidered bags with the writing on some people who experience suicidal thoughts and what they would want to say to others who may be suffering. I’ll be selling the bags and donating the money to a suicide prevention charity but also plan on starting a website with practical information and a place for people to add their stories or own quotes - which I can then go on to use for future bags to sell.

I know the whole thing sounds a bit grandiose, but I need something to get me through this. I was wondering if anyone would want to add anything in the replies to this post, just some kind words or a little quote I could put on a bag. Once they’re done I’ll happily update on here :)