I’ve been depressed for almost 4 years now. I’ve had my ups and my downs. Life has been enjoyable at times and absolutely unbearable for long periods. I have felt empty, I have been in love. These last two days I’ve felt really shitty as this year turned out to be another lonely christmas. Seeing my brother and my sister with their partners is honestly devastating. I felt empty these last two days, even after hearing that my best friend whom I kinda started to like lately seems to feel the same way about me. It doesn’t make any difference. I’m terrified of being in love again. I fix myself time and time again but new problems arise every time. Catching a break seems impossible. When will the misery stop. When will I finally be that happy kid I used to be.