currently on 10mg haloperidol and 100mg lamotrigine..i smoke weed everyday (8-10joints) and i never feel stoned or at least i don’t think i am. my parents don’t like me smoking weed and mum has said she will send me to rehab and i dread being warded. i have periods of my life where chunks of time is just blank. with medication my thoughts race less and sometimes i find myself bored and less creative. some days i feel like meeting every friend and will make plans but dread going when it’s nearing the day., thru this page i learned the word apohenia and i think i have that… can someone reach out to me with words of comfort and if you can relate or tell me more about myself that i don’t know or might want to know? 
i think my diagnosis is wrong i refuse to believe that i’m schizophrenic simply because of the stigma and that i don’t hear voices it’s just that my thoughts race and picture a story in my head. i was very good at creative writing and it feels like that’s what i’m doing.. i’m also an only child so i’ve always been alone with my thoughts. the trigger for my first episode was finding out my father had an affair and i thought my mum and i would be alone. he came home with a red range rover with her initials on it. it was tacky and a cry for help but it was me that went to the hospitals. please tell me something i can relate to. that’s all i need to hear and know :’/