
TW flashbacks mentioned 

Hey guys. So I’ve been diagnosed with BPD for four years and I definitely agree that the diagnosis fits but lately I’ve been questioning some experiences I have that just don’t seem to match up. But maybe I’m wrong and maybe these things are normal for BPD so if y’all could have a read and let me know if u also experience similar things I’d really appreciate it! 

So back when I first got diagnosed they were questioning if I had CPTSD and even I think DID as well or instead of BPD but then I moved home and the psychiatrist I saw here diagnosed me with BPD and put me on meds which effectively eliminated a lot of the scary symptoms... 

So back then (note it was around Halloween)... I started to experiences INTENSE SEVERE flashbacks to events I don’t consciously remember and I started to hear voices in my head commenting on things I was doing or just talking etc... i could identify at least 5 different voices back then, male female and child. One voice would order me to do horrible things to myself... I really felt like I was going crazy because of this. I would also have moments where I completely lost control of my body and felt like something else took control (very brief but very scary). All of these things really made me go crazy tbh so I stopped sleeping because I was so scared, stopped leaving the house because I thought everyone was trying to kill me.... 

Anyway then I got put on an antipsychotic and for the most part my symptoms went away or at least I was just number out and depressed af....  anyway I would still have bizzare moments and pretty much every year around Halloween I experience the same symptoms as above... I hear voices in my head and have the experience of something taking over my body.... oh and flashbacks. 

However this year was a little different as I began to research DID and realised I have a lot of the symptoms *oh another symptom I have is bad memory or amnesia to daily events or my life etc.... so anyway when it happened this time around I kind of observed what was happening and I was able to identify 9 different ‘voices’ or personalities. I also realised that I have moments of severe dissociation during which ‘someone else’ seems to takeover.... 


Now what I’m wondering or confused about is do y’all have an internal dialogue and sometimes feel like something takes over your body or does that sound like outside the realms of BPD? 

Sorry for the long post and thanks if you read the whole thing!!