I know everyone is going through a hard time &amp; may be having issues more serious than me but i don’t want to be alive anymore. My heart hurts so much &amp; I feel so unwanted. I have no support pillars. I don’t have anyone I can rely on. I really have been trying to get better, to do things that I love but nothing is working. I hate this feeling. It’s all my fault, I pushed everyone away. Why am I like this? I just want to die now.