Over the last few months life has been hard. A few weeks ago I made a very dumb choice and drank heavily on a empty stomach. On top of that I saw things I wish I didn't. Luckily I didn't harm myself in any way. Mainly cause I could hardly move. I made a recording once to vent about some of my feelings. Not that I intended to show it to anyone but to give the illusion that I was talking to someone. I think I'll be ok. The thought of taking myself out sometimes seems pretty nice but I couldn't do that to my mother as that's pretty much the only reason I'm still here. Im working on myself in hopes that life itself will get better. But being alone makes me overthink.and I question everything. I'm not putting blame on anyone else but myself and that's why I'm saying this here. To make sure it doesn't get to the places I don't want it to. If life doesn't work out then hey I tried. And that's more than I think anyone could ask. I hope I am never judged for the choices I've made or make in the future. I just hope that at some point I was helpful to someone.