It’s hard for me to deal with everyday life things unless I’m getting constant attention or doing some sort of self care, or on drugs.

I go to the gym daily and feel good for maybe about an hour after but then get really low again.

I need people to constant ask me to hangout or be around me to feel wanted.

If I drink or take Xanax then I feel fine for a few hours.

If I daydream/listen to music I’m okay.


But if I’m not constantly practicing self care or getting drunk/high or workingout I feel super low and anxious and alone.

It’s so bad that I have a really hard time trying to focus in school and get my homework done.
I can’t really do housework cause my brain is in constant pain and I just want to distract myself so I’ll be like “oh I’ll take a bath, or oh I’ll have a glass of wine, etc...”


I need to constantly call my friends or be around them. 
I am trying really hard to be independent but it’s so hard to live my life day to day and take care of myself.