Im sorry, i know i shouldn't say autism is a bad thing. I have nothing against people who have it, i know people who have autism and theyre really nice.

But i can't with it anymore. Im 17. I want friends. I want to have fun with them, go to parties, spend all of my summer with them.

But I can't, autism and anxiety dont let me. I get Extremely anxious every time i talk to someone. I think they hate me. I think theyre faking it to be nice. I cant understand how they would like talking to me.

Im a horrible person to hang out with. I get overwhelmed even in the smallest situations, i have a lot of sensory issues. I always have to know exactly what were doing. I cant go anywhere without being prepared for every possible situation. Sometimes i need someone to hold my hand, to not leave me alone in places i don't know.
But people don't understand why. Even when i tell them im autistic. Im always a burden to others.


The only person that doesn't hate me is my teacher. He's the first person ever to question why i act differently. People have always just shouted at me, told me to shut up, that im being disrespectful and that i have to change.
I just want to go back to school with him.


I feel disgusting and stupid. I feel like its all my fault. Like i should stop complaining about everything and just """"""be normal"""""""

I just want friends, someone to talk to who actually wants me to be there