I know it's curable.
But I can't still accept that I am loveable. Why would anybody love such a sick defective person.

I am so full of crap.

I must be horrible horrible. My husband deserves much better and I am sure by now he knows that we'll enough. And regrets marrying me every single day of his life.

Which is when he went to meet his friend today he totally forgot about me. In spite of multiple reminders of how I was so unwell, he didn't call to Chcek once. Evne ignored my messages for hours.

I can't help feeling he is drifting away.
I can't stop thinking that my marriage is coming to an end.

I know these sound like bpd symptoms. But then again, I am bpd. Why would anyone love this crying, snivelling defective good for nothing wife?

I don't want to live anymore. Before this marriage ends I just want to end myself. I can't live another day this way anymore.