Everything is pointless. Every attempt I make to change my life always fails. Whenever I get a job, I lose it someway or another. Just like today.

I take my meds. I go to therapy. I went through TMS treatment. I don't feel any different. I had Covid recently and felt like I was closer to death. I wish it had just taken me. I don't want to be alive anymore. Not when I can't see a future at age 30 with no friends, no gf, no solid career direction. I'll never be able to move out of my mom's place...Not now or never. The world is just cruel to me. I get bullied at work in a lot of jobs. I probably have autism. Being different sucks, and so I just shouldn't exist. There is nothing that can save me.