hello! 

i came to ask for perspective. i fully understand that each person is an individual, and nothing generally applies to everyone, but i do feel like discussing with BPD people could help bring insight i might not have.

i’m currently in a (long distance) relationship with someone who happens to have BPD. he was open about it when we got together, i told him i don’t mind, that while it is a part of him, it doesn’t define him, as that’s what i truly believe. 
i know of the demonising things online, those were the first things i saw when i looked anything up, and frankly i hate it. bad experiences happen, but i don’t think bad experiences are guaranteed based on a diagnosis alone.

i mainly worry about “enabling” his BPD, as the last thing i want to do is make things worse when my intentions were good. 
first and foremost i treat my boyfriend with BPD as a person, not as a BPD. i support, i’m there for him. if he seems upset, i will check on him. i reassure him, send the occasional affirmation. 

so i wanted to ask, what are things, from your perspective, as someone who has this disorder, that you feel “enable it”, or tend to trigger the cycles?

and lastly, what in your opinion are the best ways to support you?