PNP: Good Afternoon, how are you? 
Me: Good, Wbu?
PNP: So what brings you in today?
Me: My 4 week follow up. 
PNP: Ah ok so nothing’s changed, everything is ok, and you just want refills?  
Me: No, I miserable that’s why I’m here, I started holding the Wellbut….😳(her recommendation)
PNP: THIS IS WHY YOU DO NOT SAY GOOD WHEN YOU COME INTO MY OFFICE…. Rant continues 
Me: in dissociation immediately “imma leave this room right now, don’t do it, advocate for yourself, fuggin use your words.” 

As you can tell I chose wrong. 

I’m tired. Tired of therapy. Tired of doing the work. Tired of showing up every day. Just to be crapped on by a med provider who tells me I’m not working as hard as she is. It messed me up guys. Flash forward 4 weeks later. She triggers me again, this time no fawning or walking out. I decided to tell her I didn’t like her and cried like a baby. She told me I was disrespectful and angry today. I am angry, however I will not be treated the way she treated me. I don’t know how to function in the beginning of appointments out of shear anxiety. Also apparently have a cognitive distortion about her. Total gaslighting bullshit. 😑☠️