I’ve been chronically suicidal ever since I was 12 years old. It’s slowly gotten worse the more time passes and recently in the past 5 months it’s been extremely intense and it’s all I can think about. I’m been getting worried because I’m doing everything I can to cope with therapy, medications, self soothing, being vulnerable with friends but to no avail. I feel so lonely and hopeless at this point. My girlfriend recently split up with me as well and she was one of the only people I got extremely vulnerable with about what I’m struggling with. I felt like I could trust her and I couple days later she dipped out. I’ve gone back into my shell because the fear of abandonment became a reality and it put me in an even darker headspace then I was before. I just wanna cut everyone off at this point because I don’t think I can be vulnerable with anyone anymore. I have to where a mask everywhere I go acting like everything is ok because I don’t think anyone cares about me or will accept me for who I am and what I’m struggling with. Feel like suicide is inevitable. On top of that I’m having really strong self harm urges all the time. How do you guys cope with SI and self harm urges? What do you think I should do at this point? Any input would be much appreciated.