I have cut so many people out of my life due to splitting, and realizing that it's going to keep on happening is kinda terrifying because it doesn't matter who those people are, I split on my own mother all the time, I've split on my extended family I don't care about them at all anymore at this point I see them as "bad" people completely. I've lost so many important connection with people because I've split on them. The reason why I don't have any friends from my childhood, nor do I have any best friend is because I eventually split on everyone.

I fear that I'll never have a long lasting relationship with anyone because I'm alway bound to split on them. I fear that I'm going to just be alone at some point and won't have anyone else left. Not everyone is going to understand and that's terrifying.