I am a 24 (nearly 25) year old male.

So I have struggled with 'poor mental health' since I was a kid - I had a pretty difficult childhood which my therapist thinks is at the root of pretty much everything - the symptoms and things changed as I grew up I suppose but through my teenage years and university I struggled a lot with depression and anxiety and kinda thought those were the only 2 things that people could have (I was very ignorant and naive about mental health).  
Over the last year things have got very significantly worse and I have attempted suicide 3 times and lost the perfect girlfriend of dreams (broke up with me without giving a reason but I can only assume it was because of my poor mental health), was diagnosed with BPD back in September (or October, can't remember) and have been on the waiting list for DBT ever since, but the waiting list is huge and I am not due to start until March at the earliest.
After a recent suicide attempt just before Christmas I have given up hope.  I like to think that aside from the waves of very irrational thoughts that sometimes crash over me, I am quite a rational thinker, and so I had always been good at having some hope in the knowledge that the chances are pretty but that if I live long enough, things WILL get better.  But recently I have been feeling like I no longer WANT to get better, I have given up.  Since my ex left me a couple of months ago, I have made a huuuuge effort to get better and do all the right things, exercising, socialising, picking up new hobbies, working etc etc but even though I was 'doing' better, I was 'feeling' worse.  Now I very much feel I am done with that effort as it didn't help and I just can't be fucked anymore.

My parents (who I moved back in with last march or April after my things started getting really bad) have just suggested getting a kitten for me, in the hope that it would give me something to live for and some fun and every happiness.  I LOVE cats and when I lived at home previously I was always trying to convince my parents to get a cat.  Now I know they don't want a cat, and are only suggesting this for my sake - or in a way perhaps for their sake in that they want me to be better - and so I feel pretty guilty about the prospect and guilt is something I really struggle with.  I genuinely think that looking after a kitten would help me a lot, as they are adorable and it would be dependent on me and love me and I think it would put me off suicide.  But here's the thing, as I said, I have reached the point where I don't want to get better...

So what do I do?