One of my worst hypomanic episodes I let a dude 20+ years older than me fly me out to New York. I met him on a sugar dating website, FaceTimed him ONCE and hopped on a plane the next day. To make matters worse I told nobody that I was going to a different state to meet a stranger, I think a small part of me knew people were going to tell me not to and I didn’t want to hear it because “what do they know, fun free vacation what could go wrong”. After the first night I actually came back down to sanity and realized how fucking stupid I was being. Ran into the Times Square Hard Rock Cafe and anxiety puked in their bathroom sink (a very nice old woman held my hair, so shoutout to her). I mean I ended up being fine, the dude thankfully wasn’t a serial killer. But damn I think about how many things could’ve went wrong, how if I went missing it would’ve taken months to figure out I had even been out of state, how I had no ability to change the ticket home if something went wrong, how I blew a bunch of money prior to leaving and didn’t have the finance to deal with an emergency situation if I needed to leave or needed somewhere to stay. 



Makes it really hard to trust yourself.