Lately I have really been struggling because there have been a lot of big changes in my life (new job, driving, etc.) and it just feels overwhelming to begin with, but on top of it, it feels like I am being subjected to more criticism than ever. My mother has never been particularly emotional or empathetic, and she shows she cares by doing things that many might not even notice, but this is difficult for me since I am someone that truly craves love to be shown to me and to be expressed more directly. I know my mother means well and that she probably doesn’t even recognize how much I crave her love and approval, but it just feels like all of the attention I get from her is related to something she wants me to do, or just straight up criticism. Every little thing I do seems to lead to a lecture from her. I mentioned trying to do something nice for my new job, and my mother promptly told me how the idea I had was bad, and stating that if I had “one ounce of sense” in my head, I would just listen to her better sense. When I tried to explain what I wanted to do in different way to help her to understand exactly what I was thinking, she went on to tell me how I never listened and was going to try to do it anyway even though it was a bad idea. It was such a simple thing where I had only expressed wanting to go to the store to get some things and tell her how I wanted to be helpful. Every time I make a joke or express myself, she tells me how I am mean and that I am putting people down, but when she says something downright mean it is funny or helpful. It hurts so much because my relationship with her had been tumultuous for years but it go better to the point that I considered her my best friend, but it’s like nothing I do is good enough. It’s like she thinks that my living life and making mistakes along the way is an act of defiance against her, and I can’t tell if I am really the problem she makes me out to be for doing things a little differently than her. I just want to get through each day but it is so much harder to get past all the changes when so many of them feel negative.