So,in the past 2 years i gave up smoking,alcohol,party life and drugs but today i started amoking and alcohol again due to anxiety attacks that keeps me away from sleeping.in the past i won against this and achieved the impossible.but today it hit with depression and nothing like in the past.i cant sleep ,i cant eat, my body basicly refuses to live.i got death threats from my ex gf,got used for sex,got lied to,betrayed by my mother(she has a bf and fucked up everything me and my father gave her.we gave her a beuty center,bought a license to sell products of faby and so on.but she just screwed up to be with another man)my granmother broke her femus bone and cant walk she had a operation today(3rd operation of the injury).and everything is too much for me to handle right now.i want to be free again but when i try to do somethingpositive in my life my body refuses.(i tried doing basic fitness and i wanted to throw up,if i try to walk in the streets i feel like i am being followed).and on top of that i cant keep myself from thinking about suicide.any suggestions?