is probably the worst thing for a human being to have. 

being split between different emotions and/states of mind is so damn hard to constantly deal with.

this is the first time in the 27 years that i have been alive whereby i feel a deep sense of compassion for the little girl in me who just really wants to understand what it feels like to be emotionally stable and to feel deeply loved by someone without being overly suspicious about their intents or motives. 

i don’t know if i can deal with the shifting moods and emotions for the rest of my life.

or worse, having to deal with a parent passing away without a significant other by my side.

it’s 3am i can’t sleep and am just silently crying in my bed really wanting these feelings im having to pass because this is too damn much 

i can’t do this alone 

i feel shit too damn much and i’m tired