I think I might be in an emotionally abusive relationship but I feel like I cant leave. Everyone around me says that my relationship is toxic and that hes emotionally abusive towards me but I'm so in love with him even tho he can be mean. I'm so dependent on him and I feel like my depression and bpd will spiral and get worse if I leave. I'm so scared of being alone. And what if it's all in my head and it's just my anxiety making me believe that he doenst treat me well. I just feel so lost  and I don't know what to do. Hes been talking about marriage latley and I keep telling him that's something I want but truthfully idk if I want that. The days that hes good, hes really sweet, and I feel like I can be with him forever but his bad days are really bad and I feel like idk if I can deal with his anger issues for the rest of my life. Please help.