I woke up this morning, feeling better than usual. My SO and I have been having a hard time, and today turned out no different. We got intimate, had fun, and fell back into bed. When she asked me to go get a bath ready, I gave her a kiss and got up. 4 minutes later she came in crying and told me to get out. I went back to bed and cried. What did I do wrong? What happened? Why am I fucked? Am I worse for her? Shes better off with someone else. Get out, get to safety. Hey away from me. Took the dog for a walk and when I got back she had started class, so I went to sleep. 4 hours later she wanted to talk but i couldn't. I started to melt down and when I got up she told me

"Your just going to hit yourself again. Or me."

I ran into my office crying, and slammed my head into the door 7 times. The room got dizzy and everything got quiet. I'm sitting here, listening to music, trying to make it all stop. The misery, pain, self loathing, that I'm the biggest most disgusting fucking monster anyone has ever known.