I have suicidal ideations and I have for many years. I’m open with my psychiatrist and therapist about this, always emphasize I don’t have a plan because they always ask if I do. A few weeks ago I was in the ER at the local hospital because my meds caused me to have a breakdown and I was worried I had no control of myself. The morning after a doctor explained to me that I didn’t really need to be there because “You didn’t have a plan.” 

So on that note, I googled “What’s the easiest way to kill yourself?” a few minutes ago. Does this count? Just how miserable and fucked up do I need to feel, exactly?