I had my last therapy call last week and I’m literally the same as when I started. I know I’m going to start ruining my life soon because that’s who I am. I hate my body and know that there’s nothing I can do about it. I hate my stupid brain for doing this to me. I hate how jealous and competitive I am and how I cannot ever feel sorry for my friends because I just have to have it worse then them. I’m too scared to die but I don’t want to live either. There’s no escape.