Anyone else ever experienced this? I’ve tried to kill myself several times now and right before one particular attempt, I felt genuinely happy and at peace with the world. Everything seemed so bright and colorful because I realized that the pain would finally be over. Of course, I fucked it up and am now in even more pain and misery than I was before but I really want to experience that feeling again. No drug, experience or really any other feeling even comes close to what it felt like right before I almost died that day.