I fucking hate the quietness around my room sometimes. It's not that I hate being alone, I don't mind it but I'm an extrovert person and I get energy when I'm around people I like. But.. I'm also very shy and idk how to start a conversation and also a heavy overthinker by nature.

I just don't understand how others make friends so easily... Why does it feel like everyone feels awkward around me...

I started working and I haven't been able to fit in with my colleagues.. They're all older than me so idk how to talk with them. Then, I arrive home from work and I don't really have the energy to do anything but eat, watch YouTube and sleep...

I have a "friend". But she also neglects me a lot, not that she should be always paying attention to me 24/7 but I feel constaly awful about it and the feeling of being forgotten or left just makes me so depressed :( I'm just struggling to understand that everyone has their own life and the thought of having to deal with this all by myself scares me so much..