I’ve recently been going through a lot of changes. I’ve always known something was wrong with me, was misdiagnosed and finally found out that I have BPD sort of recently. It feels so good to have an answer. I’m finally doing something about it. I had my first group DBT meeting yesterday. It feels corny. But whatever helps me heal I guess. I have my first individual session on the 14th of this month. I’m excited to start this journey of group and individual therapy. But I know it’s not going to be some walk in the park. It’ll be hard. 

Another reason I am so scared is because I met someone new. Someone that is making me feel things I have never felt before. I’m 27 and have had my fair share of relationships. This is different. It’s scaring us both. But we’re both very excited. I don’t want this new relationship to get in the way of my recovery. It seems like bad timing. She knows everything I’m going through and is very understanding and doesn’t want to get in my way. She wants to be a part of it. I’m just scared of myself and my old habits. I’m trying to maintain a balance and maintain some type of control over the situation. This might sound crazy but it’s one of those situations of “when you know you know.” I feel the need to stress that this is different. I feel like the girl who cried wolf. There is a lot of potential for this person and I. I feel like I don’t deserve it and I’m going to mess it up. The way I feel about her moves me to tears. Happy ones. That’s never been a thing before in my entire life. 

I wish I could put it into words better so you all understood exactly where I’m coming from. Im just in complete disbelief that this person entered my life during a time where I’m finally doing something about my mental health. 

I don’t know what to do with it and I keep having serious self doubts. Please share some similar experiences with me and offer some advice that might’ve helped you in a similar situation. 

Thanks guys &lt;3