Hi. I'm struggling because something happened with my boyfriend when we dated the first time, three years ago, that I remember completely different than he does. The event/memory made me uncomfortable but it didn't stop me from going back to him three years later. I don't feel comfortable repeating the memory but essentially, it's weird and it makes us both extremely uncomfortable. 

I believe him when he says that my memory is not correct. I do not believe I am being gaslit. Truly.

I've had many traumatic things happen to me that are similar to how I remember this memory but what I thought happened is less intense than those other things. This event is just like...a similar theme? I bring this up because I'm wondering if I could be remembering things wrong because I'm getting it confused with other trauma/memories/events?  Could I be confusing the reality with a dream? 

I'm so concerned and he is very upset and I don't know how to make him feel better.

I feel like a really bad person and I feel like a liar and I am questioning whether all of the traumatic things in my life actually happened or not. 

Has anything like this happened to anyone else? I am feeling a lot of things and I feel really awful. I need some reassurance that I'm not a freak or a piece of shit.