So I've been in a relationship from over 10 years. She was my childhood sweetheart. 
But last year with the whole pandemic situation we were trapped in different cities. We were supposed to get married earlier this year but things happened and now we have become a bit distant to that thought. 
Since then we barely speak to each other. But when we do speak, I feel like my day is so much better. And if I know we aren't going to speak, I feel anxious and afraid and it feels like my life is meaningless.