And then the anxiety feeds my imposter syndrome and it keeps cycling and cycling. 

Today is a tough day and the evening now is where it has ‘hit’. Night is often worse right? 

I am the office dragon of three small businesses (HR, sales, web designer, ad designer, admin, bookings, warranty, shipping). It’s a lot to cram into one day every day. And I am not perfect at it. I’ve had to take two half days a week for my health this year because of chronic illness being impacted by burn out. Which helps my body but also helps me get behind. 

I feel hampered at every turn. If I drop a ball it’s hard to collect it again in time. Client expectations are the biggest challenge to manage. 

Today I am tired. I have a couple balls I am trying to regain on a fraying string. I was able to get my first shot of the vaccine booked and while I am excited I feel like I can’t celebrate it because I ‘don’t deserve it’ and people will question why I am getting it earlier than them. And that’s not right. But that’s how I FEEL. 

So tonight is one of those nights where I feel like I’m doing a bad job.