Does anyone else feel like they have 50,000 triggers, sometimes they trigger you and sometimes they don’t. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells, you never know when something is going to set you off? 

I’m trying so hard to document my triggers as I am newly diagnosed, and it’s so hard. One week I may have found some new triggers, then the next week I find those same “triggers” no longer bother me. 

I also find it so overwhelming that I have all these triggers, it just makes me think even more that I wish I didn’t have to deal with this. I suffer from a lot of suicidal ideation and unfortunately I have been dealing with this (as well as other illnesses) undiagnosed for 6 years. I have hit the point where I don’t have hope and I’m tired. The only reason I am getting help now is because I had a failed suicide attempt and ended up in a mental health unit for a while. It just sucks because I’m in a stage of limbo, I don’t want to get better, I want to quit, but now I’m actually getting help. 

Anyway, I guess where I’m trying to go with this is that I am so bothered by the fact that the only way I will get better is by putting in all the hard work myself. There’s no quick fix for this, no medication, and I’m just so drained already and don’t have it in me to help myself when I’m finally getting the help.