So basic run down of my life, I’m currently 24 years old and looking for any reason that explains why I feel the at I do. 
Age 4-7 molested 
Age 11 dad died of cancer (he was my best friend and the more reasonable parent) 
Age 12+ growing up with a strict/narcissistic mother 
Age 18 rape from a “friend” I thought I trusted 
Age 20 found my sister overdosed and in a state of rigor mortis 
Age 20-24 severely suicidal/hypomanic in cycles