I attempted suicide about a week ago and when I was bleeding out in my bathtub, that was the only time I ever felt calm and peaceful. Unfortunately, my mum found me and now I'm in intensive outpatient treatment. I still don't want to live.

•The NHS hasn't helped me at all. I've been medically gaslighted all the time and they don't even try to help me. They just phone up occasionally and ask how I am. I've lost all faith in them after all the years of just not helping and giving minimal help once it comes to crisis.

•I can't get therapy because if I spoke about my issues they would be a safeguarding issue and they would have to report it to the police. This would have dyre consequences for me and pretty much cause the destruction of my life and everyone else's around me. I will literally have to wait for my whole family to die before I can speak freely, so therapy just isn't an option. 

•None of the pills work, not even the strongest ones.

•I have nothing to live for and not even an alternative life I'd like to live. Even if I was a billionaire traveling as I pleased, I would still want to die. There is nothing I want and nothing I enjoy anymore.

The only thing I want to do is to be euthanised. It's the only thing that makes me smile. I just want to leave this life behind me and finally die. I don't want this pain anymore and there's absolutely zero solutions to solving it either. I don't even want them to try and fix me anymore because it just makes me more depressed that they don't even care or try, or that I can't be open.  

All I want is to die, and I think I should be allowed to choose that for myself.