My FP/BF of 10 years died suddenly, 2 years ago. I haven't been able to form or even maintain any real bonds with anyone since, except for my children. And honestly, I've never felt so free. My anxiety is at a 0 for the first time in forever. I've gone from taking 13 pills a day to 3. I leave the house frequently. I don't want to vomit and pass out in a crowd. It's kinda like the worst thing possible happened, and I survived through it without my FP, so it's given me the confidence I need, to know that no matter what's happening right now, it'll work its way out one way or another. 

Or maybe the grief is still overriding the reality. Who knows.