Hello Bipolar Family!

Just wanted to share some hope for those that are still struggling. For the last two weeks I have been in an upswing; fluctuating hypomanic to manic. When my behavior started to change and my mind began racing I knew I needed help soon to keep me from decomping and ending up in the hospital again. Before I asked for help though, I had my wife and mother waving big red flags on my attitude, energy, and behavior. I cannot stress how much the support of others is important for recovering from a mental illness.

I got in touch with my APN and she had me drop my antidepressants and add a stabilizer to keep me from losing myself and turning into Mr. Hyde. Today I feel back to myself. My attitude is positive and hopeful. My energy is flowing steadily. I stopped my obsessive compulsive behavior for the most part. I listen to my support and trust that they can see things more clearly than I can at the moment.

For the first time in 18 years I feel myself again or maybe for the first time. It took 10 years of compliance to noncompliance, back to compliance until I finally took my meds every day. We finally found a medicine combination that worked! It took 8 years of being properly medicated to take steps to change my negative belief system and unhealthy thought patterns. I am turning 42 in ten days. 

I know 18 years is a long time to be lost. I could have complied in the beginning and be farther along my path than I am now. I just want to share my gratitude and some hope for those of you that are still struggling; struggling to find your true selves, struggling with substance abuse, struggling with ideations and all the negative beliefs that hold you back from being you. Find yourselves a solid support system, a network of people that you can trust and call to bring you down to earth or up to earth depending on where you are at. If you do not have anyone to talk to, I am here for you as are many in this sub. Please don't wait to ask for help. Then follow through and accept the help you receive. Blessings and Peace to you all.