So basically my current FP is my (sort of) ex from the beginning of 2020. We met up again a month ago and we had a pretty good time. We met up yesterday and went camping. I’m 90% sure he has NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and he definitely lacks empathy. Seeing him yesterday reminded me of why we broke up. He is an extremely toxic person e.g. believing men are genuinely superior &amp; funnier to women. He jokes about my insecurities etc and rarely says good things about me but when he does, they’re very generic compliments. I don’t know how it came up but he said he’d only be upset if about 5 people in his life died (I wasn’t included in that list). I got pretty upset and he said “well we’ve only met up 2 times in the past year, why would I be sad?”. I really struggle with suicidal thoughts &amp; feeling worthless. That comment was really a kick in the teeth, especially since it came from the guy I’m absolutely obsessed with. I don’t know why I’m always fucking attracted to these toxic men. I crave the attention and he gives it to me. Every time I try cut him out of my life, I break and end up talking to him again.