I'm recently diagnosed autistic 27F with a fearful avoidant attachment style. Some bg about me: I've always been an anxious person since young (afraid that my parents will die when I was 5, developed irrational fears of being late for school if I couldn't fall asleep by 10). I used to have lots of best friends but couldn't be bothered to maintain the relationships or ghosted them when conflict arose.

One year ago I met a wonderful man online. Our relationship was blissful aside from the fights caused by my anxiety and his anger management issues. I'm told that the women in his life, namely his mother and ex had bpd. It was information I disregarded until I realised how attached I was to him compared to others who have been in my life. Not hearing from him for half a day would make my stomach churn and limbs go numb. If he was awake and did not reply for 1 hour, my mind would imagine the worst scenarios. For months I struggled with these feelings because I've never experienced them with another person before. It was only when I random stumbled across the term Favourite Person and researched it that helped me process my feelings. I asked him what he thought since he had experience with the illness and he said it was possible.

My thoughts regarding him are not extreme, but they're causing recurring problems where I need constant reassurance and I think he's getting tired. I try my best to control my thoughts by keeping distracted, but the physical effects on my body derails my focus. Would go back to my therapist but I'm low on savings this month. 

I just want to know if anyone has had a similar experience where they found out they had bpd late in life?