I got divorced two years ago and it’s taken me a while to get back into the dating game. 

I recently met a girl that I really get on with, but it’s been like a storm inside my head since I met her last Sunday. It’s been interesting to see how my BPD has once again made things hard, but I think I’ve controlled it well. Here are some things I’ve noticed, and I’m wondering whether any of these are true for any of you guys? 

- We text all day every day. She’s at work, I’m not. If she doesn’t reply within 15 mins, my head goes crazy. I feel like she doesn’t like me anymore, which makes me feel like a child. 
- She once said to me ‘okay, I’ll speak to you soon’ and my head went nuts about the word ‘soon’. When is soon? Soon isn’t enough for me. I need to know when we’re going to talk next. If there was ever a point where my BPD started creeping in, it was then. I dealt with it well, but it was hard. 
- I completely forget in an instant that this girl is into me. She’s told me that she is over and over again. She’s told me she can’t wait to see Sunday, can’t wait to kiss me, all of that, but it just isn’t enough to satisfy my fear of abandonment. I know she’s in to me, but I forget. 
- My BPD has made this week into a storm inside my head. I’ve only known her two weeks, it’s getting more intense between us by the day, but still it feels like not enough. All of this is inside my head, I don’t think I show it at all to her. On the surface I’m cool, calm and collected, but underneath it all I’m panicking. What if she doesn’t text back, what if she doesn’t like me? What if she cancels seeing me Sunday? 

These are just observations I’ve made over the past week. We are totally in the early stages of a possible relationship, yes it’s intense for us both, but my head has been like a perfect storm. 

Has anyone else experienced anything similar?