I have not had a friend or any kind of social life for a great many years, including the entirety of my short adult life. Yet throughout all this time, the aching pain of loneliness has not subsided. If anything, it's gotten worse with time.  
  
I don't *want* to feel lonely. That's, probably not a particularly insightful statement... I guess I mean that I'm just so tired of feeling like I need other people. I guess what they say about humans being social creatures and all is true, because I really just don't know how much longer I can bear living with this feeling.  
  
Making "friends", or having some sort of a "life"... those are impossibilities for me. I'm just not capable of it. I've tried both willingly and not so many times before and frankly given up at this point.  
  
So my only alternative is somehow learning to live with this soul-crushing feeling for the rest of my life (god forbid however long *that* might be). I'd like to think I've tried a lot, but nothing really helps.  
  
Where do I go from here? Maybe I just kill myself and get it over with. My life is insignificant anyways. I worry I'll never gather the courage to do so though. If I'm too scared to even off myself, what could I possibly be capable of doing to make this feeling bearable? I wish I didn't *need* other people. But I can feel it deep in my being. It's burning me up from the inside out. I'm so tired of being alone.