ive been seeing this therapist for almost a year now and hes been amazing(well call him "N"). hes the first therapist ive genuinely connected with and i find so much comfort within his presence. weve gotten to the point though where my next step is processing trauma since ive been stable long enough BUT i cant just Talk About It without breaking down and spiraling. we agreed EMDR is gonna be the best the route to do so but he isnt certified in it. the board doesnt allow a patient to see two therapists at one time for the same thing bc it can lead to splitting &amp; some other reasons i dont remember.

i have an intake appt set up sith an EMDR therapist (well call her "T"). the only thing is bc so mych of my shit is wrapped up in trauma, both N and i dont think ill be able to keep EMDR with T and sessions with N separate. this means im not gonna be able to see N for a while and that scares the shit out of me. i dont see him as abandoning me or anything like that. its just im so attached to him that i cannot see my current life/situation without him in it.

what were gonna do is im going to continue seeing N as a safety net through the first few sessions with T to see if i trust T enough to follow thru with EMDR. if the first 2-3 sessions go well, i have to say goodbye to N for at least a little bit but idk how long thats gonna be and i dont like that i dont have a time frame.

has anyone else experienced something similar? whether if its having to terminate sessions w ur therapist or experience with EMDR and not necessarily the two combined