I don't know what to do anymore. I wanted to get better. I started taking medication. I went to therapy consistently. I exercise four times a week. Everything they tell you to do to work through depression I try it. And its not like I'm expecting some magic to happen overnight. To one day wake up and just be better. It's been months of doing this, after years of trying. And I can feel myself getting worse again. I know I hurt myself in ways other people can't see. I eat things that make me sick, or I won't eat at all. I'll push myself when I workout to exhaustion, coming home covered in bruises. This morning I woke up and all I could hear was that voice in my head saying that I'm worthless and I don't deserve anything. Not even the air I breathe. I don't want this. I want to have hope. I want to feel something positive. I don't know what to do anymore. Nothing helps, nothing works. I can't talk to my friends because I don't want to bother them. I don't have a family to talk to. I can't journal because I'm afraid my roommate will find it and send me to the hospital again. I can't go back there, I can't miss work. At least here I can be anonymous. I'm so sorry I just needed to get this off my chest. I don't want to hurt anymore