I'm fiercely depressed and actively suicidal (started planning funeral arrangements, decided on what my method would be, etc.) so from a "sane" perspectively it obviously makes sense why she's making me go to a hospital, and why my friends are glad/relieved that I'm going there.

But from my perspective, it's incredibly confusing. I don't want to live but most importantly I don't have any desire or interest in getting better, feeling happy, or any of those things. I don't understand what I'm supposed to do while I'm there for a week, what to feel or how to act? 

I was in in-patient about 7 years ago as a teenager, but it was completely different back then because I did want a better life, I did want therapy and I wanted to be heard and supported. My suicide attempt was just me trying to escape from an abusive family the only way I thought I could.

I have no interest in happiness and I have no interest in *developing* an interest in being happy. I'm too exhausted to pretend that I'm "getting better" as the days go by in in-patient, but I also don't feel like being stuck there for a month! That would be so cruel and would only make me want to die even more.

I don't know what I'm supposed to say to my friends when they come visit, and the therapist and staff that I'll have to speak to. If I keep telling the truth, which is "I want to die and will kill myself in a couple of weeks," I'm never going to get out, am I...