So if I have trauma and my life for the last four years literally doesn't worth living and I have meltdown (triggers+ sensory overload) and break some glasses, am I a bad person? If I'm very negative and self-centered that it hurts the people who hear it, I don't mean I insult or judge them, I mean I talk negatively about life, should I make the priority in therapy is to be less harmful or to make my life less unbearable. 

I really don't understand and I can't tell what's right or wrong anymore. I have no concept or intuition of what's right or normal. I don't know if I'm a people pleaser or a narcissist. I don't know if my narcissistic father really traumatized me or it was normal and I'm just a disobedient adhd sensitive ungrateful kid. I don't know if I'm actually a minority (autism+adhd) that there's no services provided for them in college making it almost impossible or I'm just blaming others and it's my problem. Am I having a fawn response or I am being ethical? Am I standing out for myself or I'm being an asshole. Am I hurting my parents now or did they messed me up as a child and a teenager with their authoritarian controlling (parents are the source of morality) perfectionism and continuous criticism for losing a one score in a test or breathing in a way they don't like. Am exaggerating or not? How can someone know?