I don't really feel anything other than anger, and disgust, anymore. Both of these emotions being directed at people around me.

Yesterday, a thought came to me. Do you ever think about how emotions are fake? Like really. When something bad happens, do you react because you actually FEEL something, or do you react because society wants you too?

Think about it. If society had evolved differently, we would've evolved with it and all of us could've been emotionless robots rn, and NO ONE WOULD CARE. As it is, I find it hard to believe others actually FEEL.

I told this to someone I know, and he said this kind of outlook on life is unhealthy. I beg to differ. I feel like this outlook on life is the healthiest there can be. Keep your expectations low, you don't get hurt. The best thing is keeping to yourself, because the only person you can truly trust is yourself. Others will always betray you.

Anyways, onwards to the anger issues. I feel so angry. All the fucking time. I try to keep it bottled up but my self control CONSTANTLY slips. These days I'm always getting into fights with my parents, both physical and verbal. The other day, I saw red and tried to stab my dad ( I missed, unfortunately). This morning, I nearly pulled my mother's hair out of her scalp. Why, you may ask. It's because they don't listen to my words, so my only choice is to get physical.

I told all this to the earlier mentioned person (which I am really regretting now), and he told me to get help.  So this is me 'getting help'.

Let me clarify, I am not depressed. I think my mental health is great and I would never commit suicide (the person I was taking to was afraid I was going to bcos I said no one wants me around, which is a fact, not a complaint.) I do cut myself, but it's only so I can feel something other than anger.

So now I come back to my original question: is there something wrong with me?

I've bared it all in this post. Don't let me down.