Hi reddit. I'm an adult male with a good education, a good job, and a fairly normal life. I've never been in a fight or committed any crimes. I think I'm a nice person. I like my life and I want to live to old age. 

I've suffered from depression for more than 15 years and have often fantasized about suicide, but I have never physically harmed myself or anyone else in any way, and I intend to keep it that way. For the past few years, I've been constantly plagued with intrusive thoughts of self-harm. I'm afraid to be around sharp objects because I obsess about accidentally hurting myself. I don't want to hurt myself, so I keep myself away from them. 

Basically I'd just like these thoughts to stop. I shouldn't have to be afraid of holding a pair of scissors. 

I also become afraid when I'm around some other people, especially very small children or older people, who I fear that I could accidentally hurt. I would never hold a baby. What if I dropped them and they died? My life would be ruined. So when I'm around vulnerable people, I end up physically restraining my hands so that I can't make any inadvertent actions. 

I guess these thoughts are mostly rooted in the fear of accidentally ruining my life by either hurting myself or hurting someone else. There's a quote that helps me cope. It's something along the lines of: "Just because birds are flying above your head doesn't mean you have to let them settle in your hair." So of course I actively resist the settling. 

Can I do anything to make these thoughts go away? 