I am new to my diagnosis, and I’m in a situation where therapy for my bpd is not an option. My therapist was a general one and now that I don’t see her anymore, I have been navigating this diagnosis by myself. I don’t understand half of it and how to cope. I looked into dbt and that’s not an option for me for a long time, so I am doing this by myself. 

Anyway, I have a fp. I didn’t even know what that was until the other day and I looked into it, and I realized that someone very close to me is that for me. Down to a tee. I am incredibly overbearing and too much in their life and it makes me sick that I make them unhappy by being around. 
They tell me that they love me and care about me, but have given up on me in other ways and I don’t know how to handle that, given that they are my person. 

Anyway, so the more I looked into this whole fp thing and read about it, the more I saw these behaviors as unhealthy and not ok. I keep most of them to myself and don’t tell this person but sometimes it ekes out and I don’t know what to do. Now that I know that my love and my feelings for them aren’t real and it’s just a manifestation of my bpd is incredibly upsetting and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to block him and leave them behind, but I think I might have to. I don’t have many people in my life and I’ve never had a fp before I don’t think, so this is very painful
For me