I want to die! Literally, I don’t want to do this anymore.  Every little thing gives me anxiety and I shit down.  It’s Saturday and I don’t have anything to do and I don’t want to do anything. Screw the weekend. Screw my life.  I hate everything about being bipolar.  It’s ruined my life and left me a shell.  I want to kill myself so my wife can get insurance money.  I know I can’t work like I used to and at least she would be happy.