Hello! Below are two versions of my story; the long version and the short version. I don't want to depend on somebody to help me every time I get in a similar situation, but right now I feel like I need some help with something that I think I didn't address before. I feel like the more "fake it till you make it" I do (faking/lying to myself and to others that I don't have anxiety anymore), the worse and tired I feel. I'm probably doing something wrong and I'm not aware of that.


Short version:
I've been feeling great for the past few weeks in regards to my anxiety levels. I even fixed my sleeping schedule and I installed new healthy routines for like 3 continuous weeks, but I couldn't keep up with those since I started having the DP/DR stuff. Recently (about a week ago) I started working more and more at the computer to finish some projects, and every time I'd take a break or finish working, I'd "jump" into DP/DR which then my anxiety would flare up. This is similar, if not the same, to how it started almost a year ago, and it was hard to cope with because it was stronger and more constant (almost daily) than usual.


Long version:
I've been feeling great for the past few weeks in regards to my anxiety levels. I even fixed my sleeping schedule and I installed new healthy routines for like 3 continuous weeks, but I couldn't keep up with those since I started having the DP/DR stuff. Recently (about a week ago) I started working more and more at the computer to finish some projects, and every time I'd take a break or finish working, I'd "jump" into DP/DR which then my anxiety would flare up because of those DP/DR feelings. After finishing working on the computer, the only thoughts that come and send me into that DPDR state are "Wow, this feels real, maybe too real. OK, this is reality. How is this reality real? How do I define real? What is real? Do others think like me? Am I the crazy one? Are the others real? Am I real?", because I feel like I can see much more than what the computer screen is showing; I feel like I can hear, touch, and sense much more than what I usually feel when I'm focused on the work at the computer, and for whatever reason I feel shaky, I feel like my head is hollow and I only have eyes (like you could get your hands through your head and feel nothing), and I start to sweat quite a lot (+ muscles tensing up almost everywhere), and then I start to think about how I can be connected with the Universe and everything and everyone at the same time, and what if this is all just a game, or how can we know or prove it, or what happens to us and/or our thoughts after death, or what's the meaning of life, and this sends me into another spiral (dpdr and stronger anxiety). I can't change the thoughts for more than 5 minutes because the thoughts that come are scary and are imposing fear on my body and I find it very difficult to think of something else, or to do physical activity while I have the physical symptoms. This is similar, if not the same, to how it started almost a year ago and it was hard to cope with because it was stronger and more constant (almost daily) than usual and I don't want to get into the same rut as it took me a few months to get back on track.