i’ve been doing DBT for the last 16 weeks, since early february and today i completed it!!  
i think i’m just proud of myself for getting here.  

i started DBT about two weeks after a suicide attempt and probably one of worst periods of my life, thinking that i had nothing to lose so fuck it, might as well try DBT if it’s being offered to me. and i didn’t expect much to come out of it, it was like a last resort out of desperation, something i was planning on finishing only to say at least i tried.  
but here i am. i’m alive, and i just got through 4 months of life. for the first time in years, i’m pretty stable. and i’m not suicidal. and it feels really nice.  
i’m kind of in disbelief, i honestly thought january was going to be the end of me, and i can’t believe that i’m still here. and for the first time, i’m genuinely happy i didn’t kill myself.   
i spent five years being in and out of various therapies, antipsychotics, hospitalisations and attempts but nothing really stuck with me the same way DBT did. i’m not cured or fully recovered or anything, i just think i’m actually on a path to getting better now and i think i’m proud of myself. 

i wish i knew how to get this point across more, but i hope anyone who’s reading it believes me when i say it can get better, even if just a little bit i swear it can. i know we also get told this all the time, and i know that a lot of people probably understand when i say that it’s so difficult watching people around us somehow reach recovery before us, and it feels like every time we try we fall back eventually. but i’m proud of you just for being here. that’s often the most you can ask of yourself every day. hold on to that, and stay strong. 

one thing that i like to remind myself on bad days is that having bad thoughts and feelings, don’t mean i’m a bad person or that i can’t change. i hope that can resonate with anyone. thank you for reading &lt;3