My husband is currently in the hospital in the behavioral health unit. He's been there about a week and a half. He was hospitalized twice last year, and that and is when he was diagnosed with BPD.

My husband says he has no childhood trauma, but I know that he does. How do I help him recognize that this is the case, and that he needs to bring this up during therapy? Do I not tell him? Do I let him figure it out on his own? The trauma is alcoholism by his parents, domestic violence between both parents, his mothers narcissism, and having him live with his grandparents for years for no apparent reason other than, "mom couldn't or didn't want to" take care of him. I would assume that one having to move in to your grandparents house as a child, right when your brother was born, would be traumatic. Especially living just a few miles away from your parents. 

I have been having issues with his parents during this hospitalization because I am the only one listed on his HIPPA, and they think I controlled him in to making that decision. (I did not) I asked them not to bring up triggers for him during his time there. He has horrible financial triggers (i am not sure why) and they told him this weekend that abilify will cost him $800 per month (it will only cost $15). He called me upset saying he was not going to take that medication, and he ended up self harming. When I told the in-laws to please not bring up financials or other triggers, they freaked out on me, ganged up on me, and called me names. I do not want my husband to think I want him to realize his trauma because of this argument I've recently had with them. I've been wanting to bring it up for the last year. 

What should I do? Let him figure it out on his own with therapy? I have a meeting with him and his doctor today.