 As the title explains, I had a conversation with the ex with BPD. 

After she broke my boundaries like coming into my job with her new FP, abstract text messages, and asking others to reach out to me....I snapped

I won't go into what I said, but I pulled them out by hitting below the belt. 

Very quick backstory:

Together for a little over a year, worked together, and practically living together.....she left. 

No good reason or rhyme, but apparently she wasn't  "good enough" and didnt "deserve me"

Yes, I planned on proposing and made arrangements for her to move in. When she freaked out, I asked her to think about if she wants to stay or go. She wound up sleeping with someone to "seal the deal" 

So, when she broke my boundary and came into my job, I demanded 2 meetups to explain herself. 

Yes, she slept with someone, but got "engaged" less than a month later. She got engaged to someone else, not the guy she "sealed the deal" with. 

On one night, I displayed my anger and sadness.

On that night she said these things:

"I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you, but I did want to marry you"

"When I look at this ring, I think about you a lot"

" I do miss you, but I loved you and no longer love you"

"I may be making a mistake marrying him, but I don't think so"

"I'm happy, but I'm not sure"

"We are only going to sign papers, no wedding"

Then, the next day...I was completely calm, cool, collective and the person she fell in love with. I wanted to show her that I will never let anyone destroy who I am. We went for a nice walk.

This is what she said:

"I would be lying if I said I no longer love you"

"I think about you everyday"

"I may be making a mistake"

"I don't know what I'm doing" 

"I miss so many moments"

"I would be with you, but I'm obligated to another man"

"You're more established than he is" 

"Can we go for walks again? I won't talk about him or my life. In fact, we don't have to talk at all"

I told her I could disappear if it would help her get over me...she said this:

"I don't want you to disappear"

"You think I dissapeared *chuckle* I didnt disapper"

"Please don't block me"

I asked why seeing me "helps" her

She said:

"Seeing you reminds me of the shame and guilt I have for what I did to you and it will propel me to be better"


So....what say you?