There’s a lot to talk about, and I know I need a therapist. 
Ihave a horrible time focusing, and I’m never fully aware of my surroundings. Life has been insanely difficult for me, I’m trying to learn how to drive, get better at socializing, and get better at my job, but all of these things feels impossible with the way my mind works. I feel trapped inside my own head. I try to stay mindful and focus on my 5 senses or what’s going on around me, but I just start to freak out and focus on how I’m not focusing at all, and get completely sidetracked with what I was doing. I also have a hard time being truly optimistic, and whenever I start messing up at work it’s very easy for me to spiral and start panicking while only messing up more. I just want to have a quiet mind and be able to focus, and not have moments where I panic over the most minor things and suddenly be unable to process what is going on around me, or be able to think properly. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to describe this well.