It's been a rough fucking year for me. In April I went to the psych ward, relapsed the day I got out (was 2 years sober), then 2 days later my best friend was murdered walking home from my house. I continued to relapse through May,
but then early June I decided it was time to go back to the psych ward because I was suicidal. My partner moved in mid-May, and last night as I was splitting they told me how they really felt.
They said that living together has only been hurting both of us and they're unhappy because of all my rage and splitting around them. They told me I wasn't ready. They don't want to necessarily but they said they were out
of options and don't know what else to do. So many narratives went through my head “another thing I burned to the ground," "I don't deserve to be on earth" “I always do this." “People inevitably give up on me." etc, etc

I tried to tell them that we should break up if they do decide to move out. My reasoning was that because I feel like this hypothetical physical abandonment of them not living here anymore would break my trust. It would feel for
me like taking a step backwards, instead of forwards. I would have to reset my expectations emotionally, and mentally. It would be hard to rebuild that trust because I see this as a abandonment even if objectively it is not.

They want to stay together still. I feel so much guilt for having them move in in the midst of me grieving my best friend and relapsing. It wasn't the best mix for a healthy cohabitation. I am struggling with the acceptance of this, and I am
struggling to figure out a way it would still work, and how I could trust them after they move away from me. I want them to be happy. I wasn't ready considering all the stuff that has
happened this year when we made the decision to move in together.

It sucks so much because I feel like I’m finally making progress in DBT and because of my splitting they said the growth this relationship has made has made them come to the conclusion that we’re not happy living together, and that I’m not ready.

How can I accept this, and then when it
happens, how do I trust them when they
"abandon" me/move out? Are there any other options to look at?