I feel like some days I have been misdiagnosed. But I don’t know if that’s because I’m stable at the moment where everything feels normal. I have a long history of mental health problems, since childhood. A lot of trauma, so I don’t remember much until age 20ish. There were stints in college where I don’t remember large chunks, including sexual relations which a large number of people, drinking in clubs, etc. In the last year or so, I sought out psych because I thought I had ADHD. Inattentiveness, snapping at little things like noises, extreme anger out of nowhere, so incapable of doing basic tasks because of distraction. I already knew I had a form of OCD, depression, anxiety from help in therapy. 

We started adderall, which was fine, just made me feel slower and sluggish. I started Wellbutrin, which seemed great! I liked how I felt on it, I felt more energized and capable of living life. It helped my sex like a lot. But it was summertime, sun was out a lot more. In the fall/winter, I became so depressed I was dissociating extremely hard, having full mental breakdowns, suicidal thoughts. I stopped Wellbutrin immediately. 

A few weeks later, we started Lamotrigine. My psych seems quick to diagnose, but she sat with bipolar 2. My brother also is bipolar (unsure of which type, but his is extreme - suicidal attempts). My mood since starting has been pretty stable - but it’s springtime and the sun is out more. My sex drive is nonexistent which can be an issue in my relationship. I feel fine. Just normal. Nothing great. Really dislike the sex drive kill! 

I don’t know if it’s weather related, just general depression, whatever it might be. But I don’t know how I feel anymore about this because the stability in my life is steady for the first time (housing, great partner, easy workload now, back in the gym, etc). I feel almost fake saying I am bipolar2.