Just a bit of a rant really. My head is completely elsewhere today.

So I've been doing so well these last two months or. My DBT therapy starts next Thursday, I've been going to see my family more and more that I haven't spoken to in years, taking time for me to relax etc.

Now at the moment, I currently live with my younger brother, my mother and father. It took me a long time to get to where I am today with them, they don't talk about issues, they brush everything under the carpet whilst screaming at each other, and the last few months have been crazy supportive and healthy with us all coming to terms with my illness, our dysfunction and learning to trust, communicate and love one another again. It's become a real safe place for us.

Now I have learned that my older brother is moving back in after splitting with his girlfriend of 11 years, I haven't spoken properly to him in over 15 years (at least with any sense of emotional closeness) and I'm now scared of losing my safe place that I'm doing so much healing in.

I'm sure it will be fine if I include him in this healing process, and I would love to build a relationship with my older brother once again (he went to prison when I was 10) but my head is circling the drain with thoughts that his own problems are going to ruin the sense of harmony we've built here to try and heal, effectively removing my safe place and ruining my chances to heal.

Trying to use radical acceptance to move on from this anxiety,  but until he moves in I'm feeling anxious about this. ESSENTIALLY I just hate this disease because it sets us up to fail before we've even tried :'(