There are times where things get so rough that I \*want\* to cry. I just want to vent my despair somehow. But now, even \*crying\*, something that most people have to stop themselves from doing, I can't do it anymore... It's like putting a cork in to a champagne bottle. That pressure's going nowhere now.

The only times I've cried in recent memory were when things got so bad that I've had full-blown panic attacks. Anything less than that, and it can't be done. What the hell happened?