I fuck up everything I touch. All my relationships end badly. I've lost so many people because of my BPD. Because I can't help but vent about my depressive thoughts, because I self-destruct, because of my self hate. I can't take my fucking meds, I have no fucking control over my life or myself. I just feel like a burden to everyone I know. Like everyone around me hates me. And I wish I could say that its just my paranoia but it's not. People's lives would be better without me. I feel like I'm fucking scum. Beyond help. And it's all my fucking fault. I wish I could just end it. Or just fall in a goddammit coma for a few months.