I don’t know what to say. Every day feels like a chore and I live from weekend to weekend - even that became kind of boring and meaningless at this point. I started to drink regularly a year ago every Saturday and Friday night to finally feel something again but I stopped some time ago since not even alcohol helped me to cope with my emptiness.

In the past I did a lot of activities with some friends but as time went by and the lockdowns happened everyone went their own way and we lived apart even though I tried to keep contact with them. All I got left now is my family and the same shitty routine every day. Sleep, work, come home, watch Netflix or ply videotapes until I fall asleep again and it makes me sick. 

I tried to just appreciate the small things in life and move on step by step. I worked out, I went on vacation I tried to meet people, Im working on my looks and still - I have no friends, never had a girlfriend and all I do now is wasting my mid-twenties on nothing and bathe in a pathetic self-pity.

I know there’s people out there who have way bigger problems than me, maybe a sickness, sit under a bridge or struggle with their job and yet I’m still so empty and ungrateful with my life..

..please give me some advice