(possible tw of su1c1de)
idk ever since i can really remember i guess i've been having intrusive thoughts. they get really overwhelming because at one point they were of me like wanting to kms but like it wasn't me thinking of it yanno it was like a vivid picture of it. they kinda chilled out but now they've just mutated to like my bf trying to kill himself and it's like i know he wouldn't do it. but i keep getting vivid pictures of it happening in my head and it scares the absolute piss out of me and i get like stuck. idk what to call it and i should probably just go see a therapist but i have so much anxiety about telling anybody about how much to an extent my mental illness is affecting me and idk what to do. i just wanna see if someone like relates yanno