How do I control this days of not even being mad,  but feeling like my world may as well stop. Not talking and acting like they've done something wrong. Filled with anger but not actually mad at anything because of this shit. I wake up wanting to make it all OK, tell them how much I care and sorry for being off so much lately and I want to make it better and better every day. And then I see them, and there goes the switch. My god they look so fantastic, and I want them to know how sorry I am for the way I act. But what if, my apology is accepted, everything returns to normal yet my mind will be wondering is it really accepted. And why am I bothering or being bothered with because obviously this other persons interference seems much more important than sorting this out. I'm never listened to in general conversation, so when asked to talk about it, why the fck would I? I'm ranting I know, but I'd rather rant this nonsense to you guys, have it downvoted, ridiculed or simply talked about by strangers rather than post it on Facebook out of frustration and have everyone I know potentially cause drama because they think it's somehow about them.