So after that dread feeling yesterday (my first post), I got a response today. And after seeing how brave everyone here is with their honesty, And seeing some of my own problems exhibited by orhers here, it gave me some clarity as to what’s been foing on with my ex

So I told her. I told her how I was doing the push pull thing, and how even now it hurts when she gets mad at me because I’m still in that mode with her even though we broke up long ago.

I told her that I got with her because she was so positive and supportive and I thought I couldnt fuck this up. 

I told her that I knew I had to act and be communicative instead of running away and acting hurt and denying things. I told her that the research I did (reading this sub) was a first step in me being more open.

And I told her I used her. That I had no right,  and that the only thing I can do now is try to act better.

So uhh, I’m fucked right???? Like any minute now or tomorrow she’s going to write/call and totally rip into me. And ya know what? Totally deserve it.

Wish me luck.