So far I have blamed baisically most of my anxiety on medication saying this isn’t the right med/ wrong dose…. I am like this because I started SSRI max dose when I was 17 and now that I am 25 my brain is totally dependent and my anxiety is bigger than everyone else’s because it’s a chemical imbalance and a mental problem.
The last three months have been extremely difficult. I haven’t been able to take a dose of an SSRI for more than a month straight. I started with Lexapro 10mg for 4weeks and then went up to 15mg to see if I got more improvement. After two weeks of trying 15mg I decided I felt worse on 15mg and 10mg was a good balance. Anyways long story short it was extremely difficult to come back down to 10mg. I spent two months jumping around doses in between 10mg, 12.5mg,13.75mg and 15mg. As of right now I am totally given up and I am taking 15mg again and just accepting the side effects. So for it hasn’t been that bad I am on day 7 but the last two days have been higher anxiety. I feel really bad that I can’t be good every day for my girlfriend because changing doses every two weeks has me different every day. Today I feel bad and don’t want to hang out because of my anxiety but I have used the I don’t feel good so many times these last three months that it doesn’t feel fair. I don’t have a job I am on disability because of my anxiety and all I do is stay home and play video games. I was thinking today I was going to go out even tho I don’t feel good and practice accepting all my feelings that come up. This was my old method of dealing with my anxiety but I totally gave up on it after I convinced myself that my anxiety was not mental but chemical and noo type of techniques but medication would help