Last night my boyfriend broke up with me. He says his heart is with someone else and it just always goes back to them and he doesn't want to put me in the middle of that. I want to appreciate his honesty and trying to spare me further pain, and we've only been together about 6 months, to someone without bpd this probably wouldn't be so tragic I just can't get the thoughts of ending everything out of my head.

It's more about, I feel like this is just another example in a life of why I can't have healthy relationships, romantic or otherwise. I don't have a healthy support network right now, the very, very few friends that I have are scattered across the internet, nothing near me save for my little sister and I feel like I can't put all this on her.

I just feel numb. I don't see any reason to believe my future will be any better than my painful past. Every single moment is a struggle right now and I just want it to be over. I feel worthless, pointless, and unlovable and I just want that to stop.