I feel like my life is a complete waste and that I'm entirely useless in this world. I know I mean something to other people in my life but it doesn't matter. I'm so painfully unhappy. Nothing has gone right and I'm struggling so much in every area of my life and I can never catch a break. I try to be grateful. I try to be hopeful. I try to find God. Nothing changes. Everyone is flying past me in life and even if I don't compare myself to them, I'm still miserable with who I am and where I am in life. I can't even afford the only things that can help. I always hope by some miracle my existence here can just be done with. Moments of happiness are quickly replaced with more pain. I can't keep up. I don't want to either. I'm so tired.

I don't know what I'm even hoping for in writing this. Everything I do feels like I'm grasping for something in an empty void, but I still can't help but reach out...