          I am 15, I just got out of 9 months of treatment (a very short amount of time for the RTC I was in) for depression, suicidal problems and school issues. This included being far from home. Having to follow a strict structure and multiple therapy sessions a week. 

          I was so excited to come home to finally have things be normal, and after getting exactly what I wanted, I feel nothing. It is weird. Everything that I want doesn't make me feel anything when I finally have it. My outlook is material things will never make me feel better but the issue is, they are all I have. I have no social life and no one who I have a truly deep relationship with (partly due to being away from home for 9 months.) Think my biggest issue right now is having no one, but it's so hard to find friends, people who actually care about me. Seems like a lost cause.

          I don't know, after all this work and all this effort nothing has come out of it. I still want to die just as much as I did when I went in. Everything is the same. The same. The same. Nothing ever new. And when something fun happens, it's fun for a hour or 2 and it's boring and back to the same emotions of numbness. I don't even know how to begin to explain my emotions it's crazy.

          Treatment is a fucking scam. It's run by multi million dollar companies that charge 15k a month for "treatment" that doesn't work. They pray off scared parents and their hope that things can get better. I know in my mind that the way I think about life will never change. Maybe things can get better for others, but I know how my brain works and it's fucked. I got off all my meds which is cool, they didn't do anything. 


          Anyways, if you want to comment that would be cool, you can talk about your issues too and I can try to support you!