Urgh. My new family doctor ordered a general blood test. No probs, I thought, other than my dislike of needles. I am pretty healthy these days.


The results come in. I watch as the doctor prints them out so that he can explain the results to me. To my horror, out comes results from that pathology lab for the past 20 years. 


The doctor and I try to play it as nothing shocking as we go through my current results: all fine. Then we move into the drug overdose testing results, sent to the pediatric psych ward in 1997 and 1998; the pregnancy miscarriage complications age 15; and the eating disorder admission results from the in between. Oh and the years of illicit drug testing then the therapeutic lithium levels monitoring.


Oops, sorry doc, forgot to mention those... My apologies for presenting as normal. I can see this appears I have a very long history of serious mental health problems? Yeah, I am pretty manipulative. But can I still have the contraception I came here for? Or are you too butthurt that you didn't spot my BPD?