I rewatched The Matrix trilogy the other day, and hoping to see #4 soon. I was quite moved by a line towards the end of the first movie, when (spoiler alert?) Neo expresses great confusion and doubt about his newfound abilities versus what the Oracle told him—that he was not the One. Morpheus’ counsel to him concludes with:

“There is a difference between knowing the path…and walking the path.”

We can conclude that what Neo heard from the Oracle was delivered in a way so that Neo would not rest on his laurels (and therefore falter), but instead walk the path with his disappointment and sacrifice, to discover for himself the nature of being the One. 

This line and its delivery really floored me, and made me further reflect on years of struggle with anxiety. So much of that time was focused on knowing…whether by book, misc website, YouTube, psychologist, etc. So little time has been focused on walking the path of recovery.

So much time telling myself that I am good or even the best at my job. And telling myself that I am a great husband and father. But not doing or being those same things, or too often shutting down when symptoms arise.

I want to break the cycle by walking the path. No more just knowing it.