A vary rough day at work happens or something like it

My mind "why are we doing this again."

Me "to make money"

My mind "why do we need money again"

Me "to live"

My mind " why do we want to live again"

Me "I don't know anymore"

My mind "So why are we here"

Me "I don't know"

My mind "why do we keep having this conversation if you already know the outcome"

Me "I don't know"

My mind "we would be better off not living"

Me "..."

Feel bad for the rest of the day wishing I didn't exist, or that one of my two suicide attempts were successful.