I just got a diagnosis after my latest episode and have been spiraling for days. Now that I look back ever since I was a kid I’ve always had unstable emotions and the mindset that I have now. 

Knowing this how am I supposed to feel hopeful about anything??? I literally remember as a kid feeling so worthless I was crying next to my bed on the floor because I didn’t feel like I deserved it. I was like 9. I cried so often and beat up on myself so often my whole damn life, I’m 24. 

At this point I just feel like a nuisance to everyone around me and am just feeling resentful that I was even born because I didn’t fucking ask to deal with any of this. Everyday is a struggle and I’m so tired. I’m not seeing any light at the end of the tunnel and when I do I just end up in another tunnel. Anyone with success stories? I have appointments set up for medication and therapy so that’s good I guess