In the last twelve months,
-my grandmother died (at christmas no less)
-I've been through two jobs (currently unemployed)
-my dad is showing pretty strong signs of, I'd guess, dementia and hearing voices
-my brother was briefly institutionalized for psychosis
-my mom was on oxygen up to a couple weeks ago for complications from heart surgery

Because I'm unemployed I'm going to be late on my rent and when my landlord stopped by and knocked on my door yesterday, I just hid in my bathroom until he was gone. It's 6am right now and I've been up all night on the verge of throwing up because I don't know what to do if he comes by again today. 

I'm scared to leave my house nearly all the time for what feels like no reason. I need to leave to get a job and to hold down a job, but sometimes I look at my door and feel crushing expectation and responsibility I'm not prepared for waiting on the other side. Like I'll evaporate in the sunlight when I'm exposed to the world and the dangers it holds.