what means i am “happy” to everyone else is when i don’t get violent or try to kill myself or cry a lot, etc. but i feel like shit. sure i behave better. but i feel like a fucking zombie. i have no friends, im always anxious and pissed, i’m too drained to do anything, etc. it sucks. my mental health matters so much to them when i’m breaking shit or hurting myself or someone else but as soon as i mellow out all of a sudden my mental health doesn’t mean shit??