I was never diagnosed but i'm 100% sure I have it since I perfectly meet all  the criteria even before I knew what BPD was. Also mental health care here is a huge joke that I never bothered to visit the so called therapist, except for medication that mostly gave me horrible side effects. 

Anyway, ever since starting college symptoms of BPD have manifested themselves non stop for years. I can't go by a day without extreme paranoia and feeling like being ripped apart internally. Whenever an episode comes there's nothing I can do to stop it, despite doing pretty much everything I can think of. 

I'm below average when it comes to intelligence so it takes me a long time to look for and comprehend solutions. Even then nothing has ever worked, I have read countless books, articles, consulted numerous people, figured out the root causes, etc but nothing has ever worked. 

Lol guys don't even get me started on my relationships (or lack thereof) with my fp's. Holy shit it was such an insanely gargantuan shit show and I'm still very traumatized by it. The memory of my fp's still haunts me daily and I can't do shit about it. 

Everyday I feel like my soul is departing my body and it aches horribly in my chest. I feel extremely lightheaded, very empty inside, can't think at all, extremely paranoid 24/7,..... those are all the symptoms I remember because I can't fucking pay attention to anything anymore.

"Just breathe" sure yes, only to suffocate more and more. Whenever I focus on my breathing, it becomes shallower and shallower until it hurts like crap.