Well the girl I've been seeing for a few months was suppose to go out to dinner sunday with me and my family for my birthday and I even picked the place she's been wanting to go then tonight right before I left she casually mentions how she's covering for a coworker 6-8pm on sunday when I'm going out to dinner and after she works she made plans to go see a friend out of town... well I know what I'm doing for the 15th birthday in a row I call it pill roulette and it's where I take enough benzos and opiates to kill an elephant and see if I wake up for another miserable year of barely existing