im having a bad depressive episode rn and i thought a lot about since nothings giving me joy or satisfaction atm

i thought about somehow getting cured because i can't enjoy anything and this fucking brain fog is killing me, sometimes i sit down to do something and all i can think about is death but then i thought maybe i dont really wanna get cured, depression is who i am, i dont wanna lose a part of my personality but this is a stupid thought

its not like i dont wanna live, i just dont wanna live like this
not feeling happiness, cant do anything i need to do, and being a nobody

i have great friends, they all try to help me out in ways they can even though i try not to burden them with me, i dont have bullying issiues or heavy social anxiety either, im pretty confident and people say that they enjoy my leadership, there isn't really any hardships at school i face other than learning (since this is the most important fact its kinda impactful tho)

i have even better parents, i know they'll look after me even if im 30 and still jobless, theyre supportive in their own ways, even though we have very different looks at life

i went to therapy for a while but im not sure if it really helped me, because all my therapist did was try to bring out my inner feelings ig, but she assumed everything i said was thoughts and my thoughts were blocking my feelings or someshit but im a person who feel inner peace most of the time even though im not happy

depression is some fucked up shit

stay safe and well, be kind to yourselves guys, y'all know that you deserve it