it happens way too much in online gaming.  im playing one of the sniper characters, someone on my team decides they can do better and takes another sniper character (well thats what i feel they're doing) and then they DO do better and take the "Play of the Game" (POTG) highlight.  then i get salty because i was holding it down just fine (and feeling pretty ok about myself) and they have to go and blow me out of the water with their superiority.     


and if i say a word about how i feel, im the idiot who's overreacting, laugh in my face, and continue to not give a shit about me.   and im the one that cares to much.  if someone wants to play sniper, i wont.  and its not just that. its a million other things.  its the same person taking POTG 3 times in a row and then making a joke about "try to get POTG haha" and then i say "POTG is exploitable" and they're like "it was just a joke".  yeah well its easy for you to make a joke when you've been taking/stealing every POTG the last 3 matches.    


its like on top of everything else i have superiority/inferiority complexes.  i cant just enjoy myself when im constantly feeling inadequate, or too high on myself to respect anyone else.  i go from victim to abuser to victim to abuser and no wonder people stop reaching out to play with me.  one outburst and boom they've distanced themselves from my moodiness.  and then of course i feel, fuck them, i dont need them.  but i still hate myself for it. 