I went through a bout of depression that I know for sure was depression because i was thinking of ending it all. Got on antidepressants a few months in back to work and also diagnosed with adhd.

 the antidepressants made me have severe cognotive issues so stopped them gradually and i am not on them anymore.

I am on adderal a small dose 20mg and extended release, and seems to get me off the bed somewhat. 

But I am still overwhelmed. I am trying to claw my way back to civilization. No friends, have a job (I was manipulated/pushed out of a long term job in a very nasty corporate thing). To be honest they may have been right to do so, since i was coasting on my previous extremely hard work the last year. I just had gotten divorced and it hit me pretty hardand clearly having mental health challenges. So probably last few year at that job i may have been very very depressed. 

When I question myself if I would mind very much if i just dropped dead, the answer is not one bit.

the thing is i dont remember the last time i was happy or wanted something. Right now I do WANT something, a clean house and some cooking help. But that is just so I can not feel even more overwhelmed.

The thing is I have to make my resume to find another position. but I can hardly remember what I did in that job. I was there for a long time many many years and had many successes. 

So two issues right now:

am I still depressed ?