I find solutions to my problems and I try to change my thought patterns but all of the negative thoughts keep rushing back in. Whenever I think positively I feel like I’m lying to myself. I’ve skipped school for over a week now, I lie in bed all day. All of my friends have finished their exams but I’ve still got three exams piled up. My friends all work harder than me but for some reason I still feel so tired. I just want a break even though I can’t get myself to do as much as what my friends do. I‘m constantly doing mental gymnastics trying to keep myself here, I wish that counted as hard work to other people because it surely does feel like it. I can’t tell if I’m putting just as much effort into living as other people (or even more effort) or if I’m just weak and lazy. I hate how my friends are dealing with climbing big mountains like applying for jobs yet my big mountains are doing one thing a day and eating/drinking water. I feel so inferior compared to them and I feel so stuck. Why aren’t I getting better? Why can’t I be where they’re standing right now?