Like the title says, I just don't really care anymore. If by any means I get hit by a bus, or struck by a lightning, or manually do it myself, I wouldn't be really shocked. If not for my worry for my mother to be hurt and grieve on my corpse, I could've done it ages ago. I'm only 18 and I feel like I'm already taking the responsibility of a 35 year-old family man. School's going downhill, no real friends to vent my feelings to (yes I have friends but I feel like they're only my friends because they don't want to feel guilty of not including me in their circle), college creeping in, part-time's killing me, no one seems to see me as important (except my mother ig), etc. Man I've never wanted to disappear this bad. I know I sound like a moron, but whatever I don't care anymore. I'm just a fucking emotionless meat living in this huge blue ball.