I'm 31, just got married.  Have come to once again realize there's no point in continuing.  I have a long history of depression, suicidal ideation and self harm.  

I had a degree, no longer can use it (teacher).  There's nothing else in the education realm I am willing to do, so there's no getting a masters degree to help.  I've been at my current job now for almost a year, it's physical labor and pays 1/2 of what my teaching pay did.  There's only 1 chance for me to move up at my current job, they refuse to do my review and nobody is getting any raises soon.  It's going nowhere.

I have a husband now, plus my two cats and that's not enough to keep me here.  He shouldn't have married me, but he'll get over it quickly.  I'm sure his parents will be relieved too. I have no good memories from the wedding, leading up or honeymoon.

We can't afford to buy a house and have a kid, and I'm getting  to old to start to try.  But after discussing it with my husband I don't feel as if there's any way to have both.  We have a kid and stay in the apartment and have no room, or we buy a house and never get to have kids.  At this point it's probably a good thing, but considering that had always been my goal it's kind of soul crushing.  

Why keep on when I've done that for almost two decades and nothing has changed?  I have a therapist I love, she tries but it's not enough.  I take medicine and it's not enough.  He thinks we can make things work, I think I'm tired of crying and breaking down everywhere.  I just want it to be done.