I know that I'm getting better but I still feel dangerous, angry. I'm a million miles away but I can't shake my anger, I've moved on from the sadness, but the anger is always there. Being locked up as many times as I have makes me just keep everything in, you can't tell anyone. I think to tell my friends but they wouldn't listen and even if they did, they wouldn't understand. I'm writing this during what should have been class but I just can't. People tell me all the time that I talk in my sleep and I just laugh, but they don't know I've killed thousands of people there, done things only classified as..
I just can't tell anyone, the last time they locked me up, my nurse told me "watch what you say and who you say it to.". I took that to heart. As many women, drinks, and blunts I've been through, im still angry. Even now, a million miles away, if I saw them, any of them, it could be our last day. There's been more, but when it comes to my anger, I just want them to all suffer the way I did, the way I do.
Blessings and prayers to anyone who deals with this or any type of depression; and from me to you and with me and you, let's not do anything rash. It's just gon take some time.. but It hurts a fuckin lot. I know you understand.