I’m just wondering what it is for everyone else. I’ve been feeling a bit inspired in that sense today. My reasons are: 

1. my partner (I want to be the best possible girlfriend and eventual wife for him)

2. future children (I’ve wanted to be a mother for my entire life, but I want to make sure I’m the best mother possible. I want to make sure I’m stable and strong and fantastic at communication and just overall better. I’m in a good place now but I have a way to go- I’m also 19 though lol so I’ve got at least another 8-10 years. My mom was the main person who abused me as a kid and is a large part of why I have bpd. I love her, but I don’t want to do that to my future babies. So- they are a *major* motivator).

3. Myself. I have bpd because of things I couldn’t control. I want to have a good life and I don’t want the outcome of all the abuse to be that the rest of my life sucks too. I think a lot about myself as various versions of me at different ages that I can talk to etc. I want to give the younger versions of me hope for a better future. I also deserve it. I don’t deserve to have to suffer this way because I had to suffer other ways. It’s cruel. But I am already substantially better than I was 3 years ago (when I started dbt), and I’m very hopeful. My partner says he can see that I’ve grown significantly and gotten a lot better and I think I have as well.

I want to get married and have kids and live on a little homestead/somewhere with a nice house but ideally where I can grow a garden and maybe have chickens. I want to have a good career in computer science and maybe quit when I have kids or maybe continue and balance those. I want to knit and sew by the fireplace and make stuff for my kids and be a wonderful mother and wife. I want to have a fulfilling life where I have peace and routine and normalcy while having fun. I have lots of hobbies- along w/sewing and knitting I also do dnd and love video games (also want to start crocheting amigurus at some point- and I went to a witch shop today so maybe I’ll explore ther). I want to enjoy those and like- go on walks in forests with my boyfriend and/or kids and/or myself with some beautiful music. I also love going to events and planning outside activities to do (even if it’s just a walk to a secluded park or a hike in the mountains). 

I ramble too much but I guess those are my main motivators. Also just that vision of a peaceful future. I’m interested in other people’s motivators :).

Also does anyone else blast “I wanna get better” by the bleachers? Because that song is one I play a LOT when thinking about bpd lol