I've been suffering with my anxiety really badly now, for around six months. I've been off and on medication for around 10 years, but it always feels like a battle to keep my prescription.

I came off my medication in the summer of 2020, as my prescription dosage had recently been increased However, they then removed my repeat prescription, which essentially meant I would have to call once a month to ask if I could keep taking it. I decided I couldn't battle over and over again, so I weaned myself off it.

Cut to today, where I am a mess. I've lost around 12kg over the last 5 to 6 months as I have been unable to eat consistently. I can't focus. I'm making bad decisions, which is exacerbating my anxiety. I tried private counselling, which was a failure. I tried to get access through work and they essentially said no, as I said I could afford to fund myself. I contacted another private counsellor who ignored my request completely.

I finally got the courage to make another doctor app, which I had to wait two weeks for. I just spoke to the doctor, over the phone of course. 

They couldn't have been less supportive and disinterested, even though I was clearly holding back tears. Asking me things like, 'what is making you anxious?'. 'Have you taken this before?'. They have my medical records, read my past, it's all there.

She essentially only agreed to give me the prescription because I had done the right thing in trying to re-refer myself to the work service. (Still waiting to hear back).

So, I have a prescription which I can hopefully pick up tomorrow.

There isn't really a point to this, other than I wanted to vent, as I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this. It's just frustrating, feeling like I am constantly fighting an uphill battle to get what I need. I'm not well, but I want to be. It's just so hard and I'm so sad.