My mother passed away in July, it's hit me really hard considering I was depressed and anxious before this and she was the one I knew I could turn to with anything.

Because I am the baby of this generation, my other family members did most of the funeral planning. It was decided there wasn't going to be a wake but then my sister in law invited me to a "get together" after the funeral, I thought it was just going to be family but she wanted to invite her friends and event host the "get together" at the friend's house because it was bigger. I disagreed with this because what does her friends have to do with our mother? It all got too much and I had a breakdown Infront of her and a few other people, my brother tried to calm me down but I was just bawling and was angry and frustrated. It's all mostly a haze now and I'm sure I said some things I shouldn't have. 

I tried to tell them I wouldn't take part and they can just have their get together by themselves, but they didn't want me to be alone, but I didn't want to be around strangers all day after having to put my mum to rest. In the end my blowup caused the friend to cancel, we ended up going out to eat after and it was hard. The friend didn't even come to the after dinner, now I can't be in the same room as my sister in law because I feel she's mad at me for causing a scene. I've tried to hang out with them because they are the closest family I have now but I just feel awkward, Ive had to leave sooner rather than later because I feel like she resents me, I get she was close to mum too and she may have needed her firend support but I didn't want to be vulnerable with people I don't know. 

TLDR: caused a scene over mums funeral plans and now I think my sister and law and her friends hate me