i have responsibilities, and stuff i need to get done but yet i find myself wanting to stay in bed and not moving. im either emotional, depressed and stressed or i feel nothing by dissociating and distracting myself.  I feel so isolated and even if i wanted to begin to explain these dark aspects of my life, i dont want to burden others because i feel so pathetic and gross about it. the episodes, the self harm, ive gotten really good at keeping that to myself because when my stuff is out in the open people just think i want attention or something. and maybe i do want attention, i just wish there was this savior who would swoop in,  but thats only fantasy. The fact that i just have to learn to live like this fucking sucks.