I got diagnosed with bipolar type II not too long ago. Following my diagnosis, I was immediately put on Lithium. It's working. My mood swings have been almost nonexistent since I started, and taking lamictal since earlier also seems to help. But even though my medication seems to be working, I feel like I'm lying to myself. Have I convinced myself that I have a disorder that I don't have, and subconsciously been affected by placebo symptoms? I've never personally experienced being hypomanic, but my friends and psychiatrists say I have been. The only times I've been able to tell that I've been in an "up period" is when I've just crashed into depression and have to deal with fights I've started and picking up package after package that I've ordered. I've only really been able to tell when I'm depressed or about to enter a depressive episode. It feels like I'm imagining this whole thing and convincing myself to play a role, and it suddenly stops when I get medicated.

I'm also diagnosed with OCD and BPD. It feels like I can't have several diagnoses without faking. Is is possible to fake a disorder to the point where you convince yourself that you have something? I've had depressive episodes since I was a child, so something must be wrong. The same happened when I got medication for OCD. As soon as it began working I started feeling like I was making it up. But why would I make something up if I'm suffering alone? It feels like I'm stuck arguing in my head, and my friends all give me the same answer. I would really appreciate some insight or advice.