Does anyone else feel like when they do push themselves to be around people, you don't know what to say, specifically because depression made you lose interest in things or made you awkward in social situations? 

I notice I'm more prone to paranoia about people not liking me, being too sarcastic or when I'm being honest, sounding negative just because I'm commenting on my current experience. I try not starting the conversation so we can focus on positive or neutral topics but that usually results in silence. 

I know the problem is me, but I don't know how to fix it other than being silent or continuing to isolate. I need hobbies, but I'm mostly sleeping a lot and watching shows to dissociate. I know this is the selfish part of my mental illness surfacing, but I ironically hate myself. Trying to be less self centered, but I feel like I'm losing my personality.