I feel extremely on edge. I'm pushing people away and I can tell the topics I'm talking about, arent appealing to people. My abusive ex is trying to come back into my life now. My toxic friend helped me buy heroin which we're doing on Saturday. My bestfriend is mad because I'm hanging out with a junkie. I cant seem to stop. I'm watching myself destroy everything around me, and I just refuse to stop. I feel so thinly stretched and outside of myself and cant think straight. I feel like I'm living in hell. What is this shit? Why is my mind racing all the time? I can't do this anymore. Someone please tell me what the fuck is happening to me?