Im 20 now and we are no longer together but that person used my depression and his religion for the bond, he made me believe that he would die if he was not with me, then I began to feel the same, unlike him I don't have a good family, this made me more vulnerable for his game, he usually said things like that god has put him in my life to save me and in the end when I needed him he couldn't even be a good friend, when I wanted to commit suicide he encouraged me to do it with cruel words, I thought that being older than me he was more mature but I was wrong. 

He was with me because of his low self-esteem, he wanted to get married quickly because all his friends did it and he felt like a loser (and those are his words) so I was just the object he needed for his collection of achievements religious. 

There is something that is very important to observe and I am surprised that I didnt feel it before, and its that he is actually a very pretentious person, I remember sometimes he used to make racist jokes about the kind of women he wouldn't be with, I think that maybe I haven't noticed it as a bad thing because he made jokes about his appearance too but its not the same thing, he is arrogant but discreet and it's strange to see how I have justified everything bad about him. 

He also liked to remind me of what he did for me, and he usually said that I would never find someone like him, although he really hasn't done more than me; he has even made me lose the opportunity of a good job just because his religion doesn't allow political things (I can't even be a politician's secretary for example) 

He made me believe that everything in his life was terrible so when we finally drifted apart I couldn't bear the guilt of everything he made me feel, I isolated myself for almost a whole year because I thought that if he wasn't happy I didnt deserve it either, but after several months I discovered that he was fine and that he really wanted revenge because he always begged me to come back, so that hurt his pride, even though I always told him that it was because of my depression, that I couldn't continue with the relationship, he never understood it so it was easier to literally kill me 

About religion I have never been a believer but its irrelevant, actually Im a bit ashamed that I have been with that kind of religious, I respect the beliefs of others, but Ive been manipulated by a person who uses religion to get what he wants, like a wolf in sheep's clothing

That's all, I just wanted to vent because I have never spoken about him and this is anonymous