So, background. In a relationship and have been for a year. Guy very patient with me, but in my head the love and sexual attraction is gone and so I'm hunting for something new. Started new job four months ago. Guy at work who is married with three kids. I decide he is the one I need in my life, shoehorn him into being perfect for me. Accidentally let slip that I am crushing on him, basically become a tornado of destruction in his world. He and I are FB friends and out of work he has been flirting via FB message. We agreed to meet for lunch today offsite and I spent all morning in a frenzy of excitement and feeling like my life was fulfilled. And on lunch he said this wasn't him, he couldn't do anything, he needed to cool things down. On the one hand, I really respect that fact he got a grip on himself, and decided what he had was too much to lose. On the other hand, obviously, my BPD is causing me nightmares right now. I want to leave work, this person now hates me, I hate them, why aren't I good enough for them etc etc. It's as though my mind just WON'T SHUT UP. I could do with some perspective please, lovely people.