Tl;dr Diagnosed with GAD. How do you keep yourself from taking things that happen at work too personally?

Last year I moved to a new city for a new job. I work with young kids at an after school childcare program where we tutor them for half the day and play games with them the other half. The pay is low, but it comes with free accommodation….. but it also means living with my boss and manager. 

Thankfully, we’re all the same age and get along outside of the workplace. They’re also good roommates. Over the past year I like to believe that we’ve developed strong personal relationships, but it’s hard for me to tell sometimes because we communicate in their first language and my second. 

Lately, my workload has tripled. I got assigned 22 kids (other classes are around 6 - 8 kids) in one of my tutoring classes, and there’s no curriculum or pre-made materials (there are for other classes). Everything is up to me to figure out. 

Ok, ok. I’m a competent employee. And it’s a great opportunity to exercise my creative side. They give me ample prep-time, so I’ll be able to do it. 

Then, they put me on manager track and I’m partly in charge of training a new person who is extremely difficult to work with. 

This person is in their first month and has been late once, barely on time the rest of the days, and has already taken four days off. They’ve complained about our company policies, have had rude retorts when I gave them directions, and argued when I pointed out a mistake they made. 

Ok, ok. Set boundaries. Can’t control someone else. Understand that other people see the same thing I do. Shake it off. 

Then said person has an issue with transportation. It’s tough for them to get to work. My boss offers them to also stay in our apartment. Our apartment is a ten-minute walk away from the company, so it’s good for them, but….. I have to share a bedroom with this person. 

Ok, ok. It’s stated in my contract I may have to share a bedroom as long as I continue to live here. It’s the rules. Can’t tell the boss how to run her company and her house. I could move if it really came down to it. (Well, not entirely true with my financials).

The workload increase, the new bedroommate/difficult coworker, and the manager track has all been over the past month. 

Yeah, it’s a lot of pressure. Not the greatest environment for someone with GAD (potentially ADHD according to a therapist, but never been tested). However, with the current job market where I live, being an immigrant, and a host of other issues, it’s the best I can do for now. Plus, other than the past month I’ve really enjoyed working at this place. 

However, all this added pressure has been building up and something happened at work today that has had me spiraling and rethinking everything. 

It’s spring break, which means class times change. Usually, this is reflected on a schedule posted in the office for everyone to see. However, one of my classes wasn’t even written on the schedule. 

Not an issue, really, since I was expecting those kids to come and prepped for it anyway. The problem is that I prepped for their usual 2 hour class. My manager came in halfway through and asked me why I was doing such a long class when they were scheduled for a 1 hour class today and a 1 hour class tomorrow. 

None of the students nor I knew it was supposed to be a 1 hour class. According to them, the notices they had been sent home with said they would have a 2 hour class today. My schedule didn’t even have their class written. 

I later apologized to my boss for getting the schedule wrong and pointed out that she had neglected to write the times at all on my schedule. Given the rapport we’ve built and knowing her, I expected to get some sort of apology back or at the very least an acknowledgment. I didn’t. She looked at the schedule and shrugged. 

Ok, ok. I’ve worked in enough places to know better than to expect an apology from a boss for any reason. Shouldn’t take it so personally.

But damn if I’m not. 

Add to it, when we got home, at 8:30 pm my boss said there wouldn’t be any classes tomorrow. I pointed out that the homework I planned on giving needed some explanation, so I would need to change it. 

My boss asked what kind of homework was it and I told her I had showed it to manager. She turned to the manager and her first question was, “Was it difficult?” The manager said it was. 

The manager had misunderstood what the homework I had created was. When I explained it, suddenly they thought it was perfect and sounded like fun. 

So now after a month of total pressure it’s become extremely clear to me that despite my best efforts consulting with them and showing my work, they’ve completely misunderstood my intentions and have been speaking to each other about my classes in unkind terms without talking to me.  

Before tonight, I thought I could talk to them about any trouble I was having at work and get great constructive feedback. Now…. I feel totally on my own. 

Ok, ok. Set boundaries. Can’t control what they say about me when I’m not around. They have to talk about their employees to keep the show running. They’re allowed to complain about the things they don’t like. 

A year of getting to know and like two people shouldn’t become so damaged by one comment or one problem at work. 

But damn if it’s not getting to me.