I am 21, I just recently quit my job after just under a year due to burnout and being overworked, which was a shit show  with my boss.

I wanted to go to school before, I wanted to take criminology, but now I don’t see the point of anything now. My friendships in high school were on thin ice before I graduated, after that, we rarely ever talked, so I just stopped trying to initiate anything. I’ve never had a girlfriend, never was good with girls, so I stopped trying, I didn’t see the point in trying for that either anymore.

My only passion that I had was the outdoors. Being by myself, living on my own, self sufficient. I’m constantly told by family that it’s a pipe dream, that I’ll be stuck in the city no matter what, and “I’ll learn to love it”.

My only skills are ones that are useful to me, not anyone else. I’m not something that can be moulded to fit into a title or roll that will help society. All I can do is keep myself alive, and be stubborn and angry enough stay alive. But sometimes, like right now, I don’t want to be alive, I wish I was never born. I’m a mistake, parents have told me that, I know it. 

I’m tired of being compared to my parents friends children. They are all going to school to be neuroscientists or accountants or teachers. When all I’ve been doing is labour jobs. 

I really want to go out there into the mountains just to see how long I’ll last before I’m mauled to death by a bear. At least I’ll die a cool way