I have few friends, I'm always alone, i go to school to be mediocre for 7 hours, then i got to work for another 5 or 6, then i go to bed. I do this every single day. Is it so unrealistic to think that maybe im not just depressed and seeing things through a bleak lense, but maybe life really is this way? Something about me seems to push people away, and if im being honest, i truly don't know what it is. I have a low self esteem, but even then i can tell that im not so awful or unsociable that im just a walking red flag. I do decent in school, top quarter in my grade, some people have my sense of humor, im not an awful conversationalist, i like to think im at least a bit insightful and well spoken, i just wish i knew what is making me so lonely. I receive compliments somewhat regularly and am praised for various things, but theres just this barrier that i cant seem to cross with anyone, and it really hurts. Im often ghosted on reddit but maybe its just the nature of the website, or maybe im unbelievably socially unaware, i truly dont know. Im doubtful a post of text will bring anyone reading this any accurate insight into what my giant flaw is, im just venting and man it fucking hurts to be alone, because thats the only way i see any of this grinding worth it, is to have someone to share it with and make it all worth it. Sorry for the rant guys and gals, i hope you all have a great day/afternoon/evening depending on where youre at, stay safe.