I’m so fucking tired of being me.
I can’t fucking deal with myself.
I’m tired of the chronic pain. I’m tired of the radiation therapy.
I’m tired of fucking having an OCD relapse every night.
I’m tired of having anxiety attacks over my OCD and BDP.
I’m tired of remembering to fill and take my medication.
I’m tired of dealing with the painful side effects of my Medication.
I’m tired of constantly fucking fighting with the mental health industry to get help. 
I’m tired of getting up to spend HOURS preparing myself for another fucked up day.
I’m tired of waiting fucking YEARS TO GET HELP FOR MY FUCKED UP BRAIN.
Fuck me. I hate fucking being ME. 
I DONT WANT TO BE ME ANYMORE.

I don’t have friends, fuck my family for not giving a shit.
I don’t want to do it for myself, who the fuck am I doing it for? Why do I keep doing this over and over and over and over and over again and again because I can’t fucking stop and never get pleasure out of anything.
Why do I even Try to get better when NOTHING FUCKING WORKS?

I’m fucking tired being me.
I’m fucking tired of taking care of myself. I’m ugly, I’m scarred, I’m too fucked to amount to anything.

Fuck life. Just hand me the fucking noose so I can do it already.

Fuck this shit.