I'm 27, never been in love, never been in a relationship. Have a hard time keeping friendships, can't connect with others (only on a superficial level) and I can't open up to people fully because I don't want to. Love or too much affection makes me wanna puke even if it comes from PETS. But I do enjoy being around people, I like to share fun stuff with and have fun. I don't enjoy being lonely even though I did isolate myself often. And there are also times where I feel alone and sad but not always. I also have anger issues, people or situations trigger me easily and I get into fights or just ghost them in result. Can someone please tell me what this is? And can someone even relate?? 

PS: I am looking for therapy but it might take a while to find one