I've had BPD for 10 years and officially diagnosed in 2016 after a few trips to a psych ward, it was tough back then but I'm very stable now, I do have control over my moods and feelings sometimes but when I do have episodes it's like I'm another person, my last fp called it "diva" it's not DID. But that's how she saw it because I'd totally switch, only in that state is when you'll see my real BPD self, the dangerous implosive impulsive dangerous acts, the crying, outbursts ect. Does anyone else feel like this? The bad thing is when I have an episode my memory goes completely blank. I went through alot of shit while on the psych ward and it was terrible.