I really don't know how to keep living. I want to go to sleep and never wake up. I realize other people are begging to live. I don't know why? Maybe I'll never understand what it's like to have a good life. Things go from bad to worse. It's a nightmare. I am disrespected or rejected on an almost daily basis. I've tried so hard, but keep failing in matters that are actually important. I'm either losing everything that means anything or have already lost it. Family, career, home, health... I get back up to try again only to be beaten down by life repeatedly.