I always struggle so much with perfection and it destroys me.  It’s such a struggle to be perfect in everyone’s eyes.  No one knows me as the same person. I just become whatever they want me to be 

I’m always convinced there’s something wrong with me but I don’t know what it is

It’s like my life is a movie but i have to watch it 24/7 and I hate it most the time. I’m not in control

But at the same time I’m a control freak and have to have everything my way

And my boyfriend did acid and I never forgave him for it because he knew I didn’t want him to and it literally hurts me inside when I think about it. I can’t forgive him. I’ve never forgave my father or myself I just don’t know what to do anymore.