I saw something and it made me crumble down to grains of sand.

I fell into a low swing of depression and I began to fantasize about my death. I began to question the intentions of those in my life. 

I was wondering, “Are they all lying to me?”, “Is everything a prank?”, “I’m not lovable. Nobody cares about me. Nobody loves me.”, “I’m a secret because people would be embarrassed to reveal me.”

I feel fucking toxic and awful for these thoughts. 

I know they are just thoughts and that they are only as strong as the power we give them. 

It’s like.... how can I maintain a healthy relationship, healthy professional life or even be a successful individual who knows how to cook the basic shit and pay her damn bills on time when the fucking drop of a pen can send me into a deep depression I fear I’ll never get out of? 

Fucking hell, man!!! 

STUPID, STUPID BRAAAIINN....!!!
Aaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!