I would rather have a terrible physical disease than BPD. Is that shitty of me to say? This garbage disorder makes it so you can’t stand being in your own body. Intense emotions is an understatement. It’s hellish unbearable emotions that make you want to destroy yourself. Doesn’t that go against everything a human being is supposed to be? Why aren’t we given more compassion and respect?

I look through my Facebook feed and wonder what it’s like to be the people I know, the people who aren’t living in the hellscape that is my mind. 

I feel like we aren’t taken seriously. Yeah there’s treatment and meds, but way way way more research needs to be done. It’s a deadly and serious illness. I wish there was a physical illness to compare it to to convey how serious it is. 

Sorry if this is all over the place. I just self-harmed and am feeling hopeless and lost and alone.