i smoke a lot which usually shuts them off but as it wears off overnight i tend to have dreams in the morning right before i wake up

things look different than irl in my dreams, but they look consistently different every time? i kinda want to map it out some time. nearly every dream im just at the damn store. 90% of these dreams i’m thrifting and i find this totally cool doll(i collect dolls) that is either super rare or doesn’t exist irl. and then i wake up disappointed. which isn’t so bad, my mind has created some pretty cool stuff that i’d like to create irl. 

i really wish i could have normal nightmares though... because it’s always so realistic it completely FEELS real. it’s usually my friends betraying or abandoning me, my absolute biggest fear. like i wanna get chased around by monsters, not be crying and panicking because my best friend completely betrayed both me and her bf and completely changed my perception of her after 10 years. 

i dont really like dreaming in general because of the strong emotions it causes me to have, i really hate waking up feeling ‘off’ because i just managed to experience 2828274 different emotions while asleep