Sorry for the long post, TLDR; at the bottom

So I don't have a lot of family that I speak to, despite coming from a very large family. Pretty much the only people I chose to keep in my life are my Dad and my twin cousins. They all live away so we don't get to see each other much but Dad and I talk a few times a week, Cousin #1 and I talk whenever we can find the time in our very opposite schedules and on important days like birthdays, Cousin #2 I also try with but the effort has never felt as reciprocated. I also went to visit both the cousins a few years ago, had an amazing time with Cousin #1 but when it was time to head to Cousin #2s town he told me he'd forgotten I was coming and was holidaying somewhere else already. So I haven't seen Cousin #1 in about 7 years, despite considering him one of my three family members. 

But! Last week he messaged me saying he was coming to my town this weekend for a competition! So exciting! We had plans to grab casual dinner and drinks last night before going clubbing once the competition was done on Sunday. Between him getting off the plane and getting to his hostel he'd made friends and decided that instead of dinner we were going on a pubcrawl. Or more he was going on a pubcrawl and I could come meet him if I liked. Which already stressed me out pretty bad. I did a flash card (6 months into a soft version of DBT currently) about Abandonment and Emotional Deprivation and reminded myself that family is obviously a trigger point for me and that things would be fine once we actually saw each other and that even if it wasn't I have people around me who love and respect me and nothing Cousin #2 does changes that. 

So I pick myself up and go home, waiting for a message from him to tell me where they're going so I can meet them there. I get half my make up done, outfit picked out and then I have a few beers while I wait. And I wait. And I wait. I message. I call. I get nothing. I decide at 10pm that I need to do what's best for me and that there's no way me hearing from him/heading out now would end in anything good so I take my make up off, order in food and watch something distracting. I end up getting a message at midnight saying he was at a bar, had I heard of it? No apology or even acknowledgement of the last six hours of silence. I didn't respond and just cried. Messaged some people about it too but it was late so I wasn't expecting to hear back. 

This morning I just feel empty. That great big black hole in my chest has opened up again. I'll never be good enough, no one will ever love me, I shouldn't trust people, I'm so stupid for believing I could have real family, it's all my fault. It's an endless cycle of bad thoughts. I'm reading my flash card and trying to do another as well as using distraction and self soothing techniques. But I just can't get out of bed. I have so many boring adult chores to do today and then a good friends birthday tonight and the idea of any and all of it fills me with dread. I'm also don't know what to do about our Sunday plans now. Do I trust that he will show? Do I let him know he hurt me? Do I just ignore him until he leaves/forever? HELP

TDLR; small family, one came to visit, changed our plans last minute then ghosted me for six hours so we didn't end up seeing each other, now not sure what to do about the other plans we have this weekend