I feel awful and embarrassed and don't know what to do. My ex and I broke up (I ended it) and the fighting became so toxic I blocked her on everything after saying I wanted to have no contact. She wanted me to put her above my music career and didn't understand why I couldn't and wouldn't. 
Two weeks later she pushed that boundary and called me with her mom's phone asking to make peace with me. I asked her for time and space but I'll reach out within in the next week when I feel ready. The next day she knocked at my door while I was in the shower. The day after I was about to go to sleep and she was at my door at 11 p.m and wouldn't leave. I asked her quite a few times and so then we went on a walk. She asked why I blocked her. She's 21 and never been broken up with. She broke up with me twice. I explained my reasoning and tried to stay as neutral as possible. Later on we went back inside to the communal floor and talked. She wanted my affection and I was cool with that but as she was affectionate with me, my body remembered how nice it felt to be with her like that again. We then had the most intimate moment of our relationship that we ever had. We just rested our foreheads on each other as I caressed her face lightly and held her hand. We were like that for awhile. I told her she was the most beautiful girl I've ever laid my eyes on. It was so peaceful and blissful. I wanted more of that. I liked it but then I fucked up. After we went back to our rooms I thanked her for a nice night and she texted me back telling me it was nice to see me again. I then felt so guilty and overwhelmed. I let my friends opinions get to my head telling me never to get back with her and I had a panic attack. I then realized how fuzzy some boundaries were but insteading of maturing up and talking to her, she got anxious while I was in my classes and blew my phone up which instantly made me more anxious. I never meant to just leave her like that. The next day in my classes I got sobbing voicemails and calls from her and it was actually concerning so I asked housing to do a wellness check on her while I was in class. I wanted to check on her but then she sent my messages just wanting to know why I pulled away without saying anything and I felt horrible. I wanted to talk to her so badly but I wasn't sure of my feelings and it was really unfair to her. I asked an RA to sit down with us both and they said they would but never did and instead placed a "no contact order" between her and I without my ex's and I's constant. I called the RA the night before asking firmly for a sit down and they said, "No, not tonight because emotions are too high" and then bam, they put the no contact order in place. 
They got the Title 9 Corindantor involved and a counselor involved. Never set a time for us to meet. I feel awful! So incredibly awful! I had her and everything I wanted but my anxiety, learning disorder, OCD and Bipolar get the best of me! Im on the Autism Spectrum and so is she. Only difference is how we process information. When getting  anxious if I don't answer in a certain time frame she will spam my phone and get anxious. Since taking a step back, I realize that it's straight up her anxiety but with the phone spamming it raises my level of anxiety and while I'm trying to process my emotions, she will spam my phone. 
I'm so incredibly upset. I sent an email to 2 people in Student Life and the Title 9 Coordinator explaining how my brain and my ex's brain "just can't put issues aside and ignore them" just to focus on school and that is a very bad idea. If one of us has contact with the other, the other will get expelled from the college. 
Both of our brains spin over and over on subjects until it drives ourselves mentally crazy especially on big emotional stuff. I feel so awful and embarrassed and the least I could do is give her the apology she deserves. I mentioned that if my ex wants no contact with me, then I know where she at least stands with me. Just the other night was so special to me and I guess her too. She told me in a text she loved me wants to hold me and kiss me and never let me go,  when that night before she mentioned she didn't want commitment (as I was in agreement) but in other messages she kept saying she got her hopes and that she wanted to start all over and that's what I wanted (and still want to) and that she loves me. I really didn't mean to ghost her and I feel like such a shitty person for doing what I did and I want to make it up to her and just love her and hold her again. When we first got together she treated me very badly so people think this is a manipulation tactic. I'm so hurt. I don't want that "no contact order" in place because I really want to fix it. She told me I was her forever and I feel that right back. I want it to work and I want to make it up with her. I hope she still loves me honestly. I didn't mean to do any of this. I love her so much and I want her to know. I feel awful!!
She also has undiagnosed BPD which makes me feel worse about the situation. She refuses to get help for it. Her doctor diagnosed her with Bipolar 1 and can't figure out why her depression is so bad when it's clear she exhibits issues of BPD. She has been refusing to try Lithium because she worries about weight gain and I think she stopped Lamictal because it gave her a light rash. Our fights go from 0-10 quickly and I get scared to say "no" to her at times because she will try to reason with it or get jealous that I'm busy and feel like she isn't important to me.