Hi! F24. Not quite sure what I’m looking for out of this post but I am just feeling so hopeless lately. I first had major problems with anxiety at 16 and I was put on sertraline which worked for a long time. In college my depression got bad and symptoms seeped through the sertraline so the psychiatrist started trying new things. First medicines on top of sertraline then replacing it altogether. Nothing seemed to work as well but I was fairly consistent with going to doctor and taking meds. I had a gastro issue and went to doctor for a year to get help and they really let me down so I kinda got fed up with it all and stopped going to doctors as much. I ran out of the Prozac I was on and stopped taking it. I remember crying one day because I actually could feel happy again? My mom warned me that the crash would be bad... that was in October and things have been pretty decent up until about a month ago. I had a really bad panic attack one night (from end of the semester and work stress and little sleep, most likely) and it wasn’t going away. I felt suicidal that night and called my mom. That was Tuesday night and on Friday I went to see my primary care and she refilled my Prozac at 60mg... by Monday I was in the emergency room I felt so awful. The panic and dread was worse, I felt like crawling out of my skin. I hadn’t eaten in days and was throwing up almost everything — including meds. I checked in to a mental hospital Monday night... they switched me to lamictal which worked okay for a few days while I was there but when I got home things started getting bad again. Went to another ER and mom and I realized that there was a period of about 11 hours after taking that pill (morning or night) where I just felt like crawling out of my skin. I must have called 20 places trying to get someone to help me. Or at least say that I could stop taking it. No one responded. My primary care did give me permission to stop and prescribed sertraline again but I am terrified to take it. I know that doctors have to get the right cocktail but the side effects from the last ones I’ve tried almost made me cross the line. I have GAD and MDD. A big area of stress lately has been work and these issues (mental and physical) have been making work seem impossible. I’m trying float spas and acupuncture and CBD and applied for a medical marijuana card.... gonna try to get a therapist. Been walking more. I wake up anxious, even from naps, and the vomiting has been so violent and unbearable... I am hoping it’s still some of that medicine in my system. I just feel so lost and hopeless and discouraged. I don’t know what to do anymore.