I was diagnosed bipolar 12 days ago. 

I'm receiving an excellent psychiatric treatment, it's a domestic internation, so instead staying in the hospital, doctors come home everyday to observe my behavior and my response to the medicines.

They are really great people but the fact of being observed make me feel like I'm a monkey in a zoo.

Despite that, I'm overthinking the diagnostic. If in the past I used to feel invalidated by people (mainly in the office and in the master, where my ideas are never accepted), now I feel invalidated by myself...

I think to myself "that year I took this decision because I was depressed" or "that I did that because I was in a hypomaniac episode".

Maybe one day I will get used to that and maybe none of this will be important anymore.

Maybe they will find a good medicine to me and they will figure out the correct dose.

Maybe a lot of things will come, maybe not.

But today I feel like a monkey. Only that.