My spouse has repeatedly lied, cheated and made me fearful.  Last time she cheated on me, I said it can't happen again... and then 3 years later it happened again with the same person.   Along with the BPD she has additional physical health issues which has prevented her from being able to work and limited her ability to be outside of the house socially to make friends, etc.  Even though I'm leaving her, I still very much care about her and want to try and find the best way to navigate it for both us. 

Since October she's been living in another state with childhood friends and looking to move back, because of the drama going on there (drugs, CPS, fights, etc).  I've moved out to a rental an hour away in a city that I'm starting a business in.  When she moves back I'm concerned she doesn't have a support system other than me.   Because of her health issues I've done most everything around the house for 15+ years not always been very good at them but still all of them (for context she hadn't gone grocery shopping for probably 2 years).  Her last surgery really seemed to help on the physical side, enough for her to travel by herself (which is where the latest infidelity happened).  So she's not incapacitated but can't do things for extended period of time.

I very much care about her, but I don't want to be giving her a false sense of hope for us.  How can I be helpful (both physically and emotionally) and what are things I shouldn't do through this time?