I’m coming to terms with the fact that my FP basically uses me for sex and attention and I need to end this relationship.  This isn’t a poor me rant about how terrible he is because I’m pretty sure I knew this long ago but looked past it because I was blinded by the “love” and attention he offered me in exchange.  This has been going one for a couple of years and he continues to bait me with promises of one day getting married and having kids. 
The main factor in my realization has been a number of lies I’ve caught him telling me and because I’m a quiet borderline I don’t lash out and confront him...instead I ruminate and wonder why I’m not enough for all this giant game of charades to be real instead of just that...a game.
Lately my feelings have been shifting, while still very much physically attracted to him I’m noticing more and more that he no longer asks me how my day was, no longer texts me first thing in the morning and a last goodnight, he no longer talks about the future or plans that included me in them, he no longer even allows me actually speak like talk talk and have a exchange with him, he’s quick to change the conversation if I try to chirp in about something HE actually likes almost as to avoid me all together...unless it involves me saying how bad I want him or how amazing he is.
I avoid confrontation at all costs so I’ve been letting this eat away at me and now I’m emotionally exhausted and drained in general.  It’s starting to seep into my entire life, I don’t shower daily or eat well or go for my runs anymore and I’m getting behind on my projects at work.  I know it’s time for me to end this, but the thought of not having his love albiet only being a piece of him not all of him hurts me so much.  I got to the point where I can’t see myself without him and made all these plans in my head...of course.  I can’t help wondering why I’m not enough.  Why couldn’t those promises and lies be truth?