First my dad and mom were raised in a society full of trauma so that carried to me. They treated me like shit. School was also a trauma. Then I was forced into community theater where I entered being somewhat “famous” as a young gifted kid who got all the lead roles and needless socializing at church camps and that was a trauma. Religious indoctrination was a trauma. College was a trauma. Work was a trauma. And now I give up and surrender to the universe. Why give back to a toxic, ableist, homophobic, and broken society that let me fall through the cracks because I didnt fit into what they wanted of me? Im sick of being gaslit into just going with the crowd and joining in society. I can clearly recognize something is fundamentally flawed with the way things are run, covered up, downplayed, the language that is used and its fake and disgusting. I want no part of it. I’d rather be homeless at this point than enter into a world of lies and trauma and abusers. Fuck society. The product they are trying to sell me, in my opinion, is painfully broken. So here I lay, another night of not engaging with the world, because go to hell.