Every day is a rollercoaster to me. Ups and downs of emotions constantly. Every step I make forward with symptoms feels like 20 steps back. 

My self worth fluctuates too. I get so mean to people. I feel like I have emotionality of a toddler in the body and mind of a 19 year old. 

I feel so weak so dependant. And my splitting is out of control.

I have a verbally abusive father who triggers me daily. And I feel like there is no way out. 

I know deep down there is hope. But these last few weeks have been beyond painful.

I beg for anyone who is kind enough to comment to be gentle with me as I feel so bare and weak as if anything can send me off the edge. 

I need encouragement and hope. My therapist won't respond my calls and I think she may have cornovirus. I have to deal with this alone for a while.

 Reddit, please help me