So I’ve noticed SSRIs never helped my depression. I was on a high dose DNRIs didn’t either. The only thing that helped somewhat was risperidone but my mom took me off of it because she was scared about me getting the shakes. Anyways about 3 months ago I was super depressed and decided to try LSD. I’ve dabbled on weed and shrooms before. However before that I’ve had episodes where I would impulsive say and do dumb shit but it could’ve just been from adhd. Now I feel like every month in a different mood state and it’s always changing. I was depressed for 2 years but had some "mixed episodes" ig where I had energy but was dysphoric. However after stopping risperidone and all meds I started feeling incredibly happy. 


Then I tried LSD and got super depressed for weeks tried it again got super happy then I was switching between mood states and thought LSD could correct it. It wasn’t. Now i was depressed about a week and a half ago but this week was by far the longest this happiness has lasted. I’m incredibly cocky horny and hyper. Things are "wavy and bright" kind of. Like the threshold effects of lsd. I have an ungodly amount of confidence. I stay up late and have energy to make it through the day. But deep down I know this will end and I feel depressed and it’s ruining my mood. I also impulsively bought expensive markers for my teacher because I drew all over the desk with markers he gave us and I felt guilty. All my anxiety, fear of abandonment it’s all gone. When I was depressed I was drinking and doing drugs to cope. Then at my grandmas I binge ate so much of her food on impulse and I feel like I acted obnoxious. I also accidentally broke my friends project. So many people are annoyed with me and my bank account is drained. I feel incredible still. Is this bipolar or could it just be adhd? I wish I wasnt so impulsive but I can’t help it. No worries plus this incredible euphoria  is a recipe for disaster. I didn’t realize there was a problem until today when I realized I was a lot hyper than usual and colors were brighter. 

I also impulsively drank vodka and blacked out twice. I didn’t even get a hangover. I feel amazing. Is this possibly just adhd?