Diagnosed BPD in 2016 after major mental breakdown. Have been BPD since teens and diagnosed many diff things in my life. I am also mdd, gad, and ptsd from a few occasions. I've been okay or I thought I've been  okay for awhile. But I guess when I think about it I've never been okay. Was put on halidol in Aug 2016. Got off of it in Jan 17, decided a month later to marry the man I planned on leaving and move out of state. We vacationed in Colorado for Valentine's day that year, exactly one month later we were married and LIVING in colorado. My idea of course. Guess it was a bpd thing. I see it now. So after months of anxiety and second guessing I moved my family, kids and all, back to home, only five months later. Finally separated from husband I never wanted and got divorced. Six months and three relationships later I just realized that maybe I'm not ok. Maybe I never was. I had it under control. I even imagined that my therapist (who I quit seeing before moving out of state cuz I didn't want to be told I was messing up) said my bpd was going away.  And I've lived in that world for almost a year. I was better. Now I'm angry all the time, cry everyday,  am getting paranoid again, and doing stupid impulsive things, like spending all day searching for a puppy when I know I can't have one or spending two days planning an imaginary vacation that i know we cant afford. So, fellow bpd'ers and recovered bpd'ers.... am I relapsing or cycling again or headed for another midsummer mental collapse, which happens every summer right before my bday...
Not currently on meds or under psych care. 
Maybe it's time to go back to therapy..