I don’t understand what I could possibly do right now to “get back to normal”. This normal may not exist. I have dreams and aspirations, none of which have to do with a profession of any sort. I mean I have no passion for anything anymore. All I do is play some video games and occasionally write music. 

I straight up cannot function as a regular adult. My brain hurts half of the day. Headaches that seriously make me think I have a brain tumor(they do not feel like headaches, my brain actually hurts). I get woozy out of nowhere and I get uncontrollably angry at almost anything. 

Medication HAS NOT helped. This might be the worst part. I’ve heard therapists say that meds for anxiety or depression are like insulin to the diabetic. Ok but where’s my fucking “insulin” then, because I haven’t found it. 

I’m at the point that I legitimately think that there’s something physically wrong with me because how the fuck can someone end up like this? 

The thought of there not being something physically wrong(i.e. operable) with my brain is the most depressing thought right now. Because then I know that I have no fucking hope at all. 

I would rather put my self in physical pain than have to go through any more of this shit.