So, I have BPD and my therapist told me my mom has HPD. I’ve had a really bad relationship with my mom as a kid and then we both went to therapy for sometime, and then worked on our relationship and it has gotten better. She came over to help me with some stuff for a few days and even though our relationship is better now, I get these awful anxiety attacks around her even if she’s doing nothin wrong. She like to talk and asks a lot of questions as a way to communicate ( we both suck at it) and for some reason it stresses me out more than it should and I feel like I wanna run somewhere or I need to get high to relax around her. My whole body literally tenses up around her and I feel bad cuz she’s really trying and I have this outbursts of anger at her for stupid stuff! Like putting the salt shaker in the wrong spot or something minor. Basically I easily get triggered around her and I feel really bad cuz she did go to therapy and she did whatever I asked her to do. I’m also her only child. When I smoke my body gets relax and I can be around her better but I just quit smoking and I don’t wanna go back to harmful coping mechanisms like overeating and smoking but I literally don’t know how to deal with it! Also we can’t talk to our therapist cuz recently I found out he’s been manipulating me and I don’t trust him.( long story )
I’m on meds too. 
Any tips on this will be appreciated