Background: I was on 50mg of Zoloft from early December to January 11th. At first, it really seemed like this was the answer. It was the first time I had taken medication of any kind, but the effects started to fade and I began having swings again. 

Psychiatrist put me on 100mg of Zoloft on January 11th. For the next two months, it made my life so much worse. I developed agoraphobia for about three weeks. I was so much more prone to lashing out on my boyfriend. I even cut myself for the first time in three years, though I was drunk when it happened. 

This Monday, I finally got an appointment in to see my psychiatrist. I'm being tapered off the Zoloft and switching to  37.5mg of Effexor. Psychiatrist said she wants to increase to 75 when the time comes. I've been swinging pretty violently for the past four days, with today being the worst and most extreme. I woke up after having bizarre and vivid dreams with a generally negative undertone. Felt sunshiney and happy being that the weather is nice and I went to go get coffee and breakfast. 

Around 4 PM, I swung violently into panic and withdraw mode. I was splitting, but not lashing out and ended up going on a walk with my boyfriend where I was crying and shaking and too afraid to mention that I was upset to him. Not that he would yell at me, but I knew I wasn't being rational and would suffocate him for affirmation after affirmation. I thought I was dying.

Felt okay after about ten minutes of that, so it was some sort of panic attack. Then I leveled out for a bit and watched Saved By The Bell. Fifteen minutes ago I felt the dread in my chest again. I'm withdrawing and feel isolating and unloved. My boyfriend left the room to talk to his mother and I started sobbing. 

I have no idea what could be causing this. My doctor won't be in until Monday, my talk therapist leaves at 6 PM everyday, and my art therapist may be in, but it's a Friday. It does feel like I keep going in and out of crisis mode. I just want my life to feel normal again. 

TLDR; I need help figuring out what is making me go crazy.