I'm just venting. My dad left me over and over again when I was a kid growing up. He left us again a couple years ago. Then mom divorced him. I never fully healed. I don't think I'll heal for quite a long while. But I miss him. I miss the way things were, before all the bad things happened. We could have been a happy family. But it's broken. Now I'm alone. I will carry this trauma for the rest of my life, it will end up effecting any romantic relationship I'll ever have. I feel ruined and broken. And feel like I ruin everything. I feel hopeless and I hate living.