 I'm 25 and I believe that the best times of my life have already happened. I have a long way to go without purpose.
All those moments are related to youth, and especially to one person I truly loved. He left me, and ever since I can't seem to find reasons to continue living when nothing will come close to those experiences. I feel so empty, no matter how hard I try to focus on everything else. I'm pretty successful in so many areas, but that doesn't fulfill me a single bit. I'm going through therapy for PTSD, and that's a part of the reason he left, I was very depressed after some specific trauma. It seems redundant to even try and look for a partner after that kind of a relationship. I have to admit, it wasn't just love, it was ecstatic and almost close to using drugs, even though I have never used drugs. Also, the only moments of my life where I didn't feel lonely were shared with him. I feel like I'm grieving the relationship itself and I learned to live with that. He is very happy with another person now, so I've never contacted him after the breakup nor requested some additional closure. I don't want to bother him or wreck his (their) happiness. I truly want the best for him, and that isn't me, so I stay away. Thank you guys for answering.