I went over to the sub bpdlovedones and wow. I knew this illness had stigma, but I didn't know how bad it was. I wanted to get the perspective of people who deal with me and I looked at the top post's only to find hate. I'm aware it's probably bias, but how many people actually feel that way? I understand to an extent. These people were done wrong and most likely went through hell with whoever it was they were dealing with, but how can they paint us all witht the same brush? I've done awful things to people who didn't deserve it, but I truly regret them. I've also done many good things that I wanted to do with nothing to gain. They say we're monsters, not human, deserve pain, and even go as far as to say we shouldn't be alive. It's not just ignorant people, it's also professionals that feel this way. I'm hurt man. I thought I was ready to start showing all of my sides, but how many people in my life will react this way when they learn? How many people already do? I'm sorry if this is over the top. It hits home because I admitted to my ex I had bpd a couple days ago, and she was supportive for a day then poof just stopped answering me without a word or reason to why. She's such a good person that I guess i'm just that awful. Even if I get her back will she just think i'm a facade, will she ever trust my change? I wanted to embrace who I really am, but I feel it's time to put my mask on and live with this dark secret.