Or this whole damn system. I have to find a new place by New Year’s Day and still no progress. I spent all night looking and I can’t find anywhere that makes sense. Pretty much everything is over $1000 a month and most jobs don’t even pay that, or pay just above that. And I still gotta eat and pay other bills. Not to mention taxes, which for the first time ever, I owe because I had a cryptocurrency windfall earlier this year which was nice but that money is already gone and tied up in my car. Selling my car isn’t an option, it’s all I have and I have my clothes and everything I need to take with me to my next place. I can’t pay an Uber driver $20 every time I need to go somewhere. I’m tired of ending up homeless and sleeping in my car. I’ve done it so many times out of necessity, it’s routine at this point. But after years of resorting to sleeping in a car seat, my neck and back are really screwed up and I’m not sure how much more rough sleep my body can handle. 

It just blows my mind that a tiny box with a bed, shower and kitchen in it seems like this out of reach pipe dream. Sometimes I luck out and find a bedroom in a shared home under $1k a month but it’s always short lived. I can never find something like that for just myself. I’m not asking for a mansion. A tiny home seems amazing but even those are going for like, $100+ a night because it’s “trendy” or whatever. I thought the point of tiny homes was to be an alternative to paying for more house than you actually need. I used to live in a conversion van so I really don’t need much space. But that burned me out having to worry about police waking me up and telling me to move on, or potentially arresting me and making my life even harder. It’s all so frustrating. I think lack of stable, affordable housing is the main cause of my depression and it’s an issue I don’t see getting addressed any time soon. Anyone else here feel this way? Like if I could just find a nice bedroom or tiny home for $500 a month or so, I would be so happy. Because it really sucks having to spend every dollar I bring in on a roof over my head and still figuring out how to feed my pesky growling stomach after it’s all said and done. I wish housing didn’t feel like this out of reach luxury. It makes me wish I was dead so I don’t have to keep figuring out how to pay all these bills but then I remember, even dying is expensive. A funeral costs like $10,000. I can’t even afford to die… fuck.