 I see myself hating attractive women, women with better parents, women who younger, women with hourglass bodies. I have an ugly/pretty face, i can look totally homeless and with the right makeup can look like an 8/10. it has to do with me having shit skin/hair/dark circles but above average features. however ive always been called ugly by parents/kids growing up due to my skin. ive always been sided out in groups of three friendships. Growing up and getting older has only made it worse. Every day my eyes look more sunken, people younger than me are getting engaged, im getting fatter but im still severyly flat chested. I live with abusive mom so yes i have to get out and in 2 months I will. I still need to find a remote job but am addicted to gambling in the stock market, my excuse is my mom has my passport and wont give it to me so im addicted to making money in odd jobs like stock market, freelance, crypto bc I dont need a passport or a strict schedule.