I’m tired of existing and I wanna die. I don’t wanna kms I tired to like 2 months ago. I took like 5000 mg of painkillers but needed up just profusely vomiting for like 2 days. I hated my life before I left that’s why I did it but when I got back it seems like it got even worse. at makes me feel like when he treats me like shit I have to give him respect and just fuck my emotions and just fuck me completely in general. When he does this shit and has his conniptions towards me my mom doesn’t do anything about it. She sided with him and usually doesn’t say anything to me unless she’s coming to me to tell me I’m in the wrong. Like the other night when I was drinking I was throwing a party for my sister bc her birthdays coming up and she asked to hang with me and since I was doing it all for her I said sure. Btw my mom doesn’t care if we drink or smoke or anything like that. That’s not a problem, she has no problem with alcohol or drugs really unless ur doing like hard shit or popping pills then that’s different. That’s just how I feel tho. I feel alone and depressed and I feel like I’m doing the same thing everyday over and over again aside from when my mom and her boyfriend decide to freak the fuck out I just go to work come home go to sleep then repeat and like I said before I work at the same place that my moms boyfriend works so that’s pretty amazing(not really)