I am in a psychotic break. I feel like hurting people. Like hurting myself if it weren’t for the Zoloft. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. No goddamn thing that I have tried has helped me get better. Not at all. Medication doesn’t help me. My goddamn therapist can’t fucking help me.

What the hell am I supposed to do here?? Seriously!!!

The last semblance of hope I had was with my therapy. But she gave me the same goddamn bullshit as anyone else does. Apparently the patient has to put in the “WORK” to get better. I’m not going to go do things I don’t want to do just so that I might feel better and then do more things I don’t want to do. 
That’s fucking retarded. Just being able to have that outlet. To explore my fucking dumbass mind to be able to work things out, however slowly, was good. The problem cannot and will not be fixed by adding desirable behavior. I can’t fucking stress enough how much I hate that fucking approach. I want the problem fixed so that I WILL WANT TO LIVE LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN. No one helps me. Everyday I get closer to really doing it. Society couldn’t give a damn about another individual predisposed to mental illness dying by their own hand. Because the ones succeeding in life aren’t and will never have an understanding of being fucked up in the head. I truly do not matter. It makes me angry that other people think I matter. They don’t know anything. No one.