like the amount of clothes and items heaped on the chair, the unability to find something unless you clean it, you start thinking how did it get that bad. it's gonna be hard reinforcing myself to not not exert extra energy to do something. at work, i work super hard, most than other people because i have a sense of urgency but... when it comes to living by myself i hold things off. and the only one that ever visits is my boyfriend, but its still super messy. e.g multiple cans/cups on the side shelves. and the thing is, i could write about how i notice how depressed i am and how its not normal but do completely nothing about it tommorow.