I decided to finally do something about my depression and go outside and visit my college campus. I regret it. There is a welcome day on the campus and there are so many people there. And NONE of them are like me. I feel like a cockroach right now. I am on the verge of breaking down completely. I am shaking. I feel like screaming but I am too socially anxious to do so. 

There is no cure for this disease. The best cure that psychiatrists could come up with is to force myself to socialize. I want out of this world. I can't live like this. I am a disease.