I'm a quiet borderline. Everything I feel is internally and affects me physically. Upon the moment that I "split" I'm aware of it and I can feel it, but i cant do anything about it. When a sadness wave comes, I get a sudden sinking feeling and dread fills my empty chest. I feel like bawling, impulsive thoughts cloud my thinking. Am i crazy? Is this not a symptom but maybe something else? I feel like I cant trust myself and I feel so scared and lost.