after years of being in an extremely bad mental state ive managed to crawl my way up to a somewhat decent place. ive found medication that kinda works ive set good habits like taking care of my surroundings and working out consistenly and trying to treat myself. I have great friends who support me. I have high academic achievements. but despite it all i feel so fucking empty. i feel like a walking carcass. i dont even know why i'm doing all of this. how do you guys deal with this emptiness? is this why so many people with bpd abuse substances? to try and feel something?