I have experienced anxiety all my life but it wasn't until I was in college that I realized what I was experiencing was anxiety. I started on Paroxetine 20mg in 2016 when I was 20 years old because I thought I had Marijuana dependencies but in reality it was very bad anxiety. I thought about suicide most days which then led me to looking for options.. My family Dr started me on Paroxetine 20MG and 0.5 Ativan for when needed. I was on this dosage up until 2021 where I started to wean off in April of this year. I was hit with a brick wall of crippling anxiety and depression which was the first time getting the crippling feeling (not want to move, crying all day, Sleeping to pass the time, not seeing an end to my mental health) since 2016. I went to my Family Dr and as well as a counselor and they both recommended to get back on my medication. Within 2 weeks I was starting to feel a difference, I was able to golf with friends and do just about anything I wanted to do. My anxiety was not holding me back and I was starting to live again. 

Then the end of September 2021 I got hit heavy with the crippling anxiety and Depression. I took a week off work; even when I work from home because I could not concentrate. I got in contact with my Dr and started to see a Psychologist. They boosted my medication Paroxetine to 30mg and wanted to see if that would do it. I waited the 10 weeks out and I had good days and bad, most of the bad outweighed the good. I found myself less with anxiety but still having sever Depression. I am not suicidal but I don't find excitement in living... especially if my life is going to be tortured with these thoughts and feelings. I am not eating hardly at all, I want to sleep most of the day just to pass time. I'm really scared that this feeling is going to stay persistent in my life forever. My psychologist added 150MG Wellbutrin to my daily intake as well as the 30Mg paroxetine. I started this just yesterday 12/06/2021... I Have many people around me supporting me, especially my significant other who does everything she can to make me feel better. I am very in love and want to give her the world, I'm worried this mental health is going to eat at me my entire life. Nothing is scarier than not knowing.. If I can describe the feeling I am having all day then picture the happiest moment or day you ever had. The time you felt most alive, you were laughing and having the best moment of your life.. Now think about how you will never ever have that day again, if its a time when you were young.. You wont ever have those days again.. That feeling of your heart in the bottom of your stomach is exactly how I feel all day. 

Can someone who has experienced this or even can relate in any way please tell me it does pass. I am so afraid and I wake up each morning with the feeling that there is so much time in the day.. I feel hopeless most of those minutes, I reach out to anyone I can just to hear them tell me it will be okay. Please tell me this passes.