Hello all. Before I was diagnosed I had recently begun dating my GF of now 3 years(long distance) . I was very mentally sick and had extreme cases of splitting, controlling and anger outbursts. I made all of my insecurities her fault. “You called 5 minutes after you said you would? SO WHERE WERE YOU?!” Kind of thing. She ended up breaking up with me about 6 months into it because her depression got to be too much because of it. We tried again and I went to therapy and got diagnosed and started 1 on 1 and DBT. It really helped a lot. At work I met another borderline. I became really close to them and they became my FP. I know my girlfriend thought there was more going on than actually was because my friend with BPD was trying to break us up. We got past it and came out stronger. Anyway fast forward to now. I can’t help but feel guilty that I have in many ways traumatized my gf for the ways I’ve treated her and also making my FP seem way more important than her, to the point she thought i was cheating. Almost like it was an obsession and a drug I needed to have. Whenever her name or anything related comes up I just see the hurt in my gf’s eyes. I’m afraid to really ever bring it up because i don’t want her to suddenly change her mind and realize i treated her shit and traumatized her and leave me. Has anyone gone through anything similar or has any advice?