TW: maybe substance abuse,, alcohol 


i cannot deal w this. i physically cannot. so i drink. i rarely have access to alcohol but i managed to take a bottle that my parents forgot about. i feel like i need it and i've just ran out. this is a drunk vent. i rly need help but the dumb thing is i feel fucking AWFUL like dying suicidal extremely mentally unwell rn and in a few hours or tomorrow i'll be completely neutral like nothing happened so are my emotions even real? like i know they are but i AM struggling really badly but my default is depressed and numb. so when i have these high emotions i feel like i'm going to die and people don't take it seriously because i'm not like this every second. i rly need more alcohol now.