For every bad experience, I create a new trauma that leads to a new bad experience. This is in context of decision making: I remember something from the past and I end up trying to avoid it and deliberately avoid the decision I genuinely wants as well. This bad decision leads to me impulsively make another unwanted decision etc. 

I feel hopeless about my situation as I can not remove the accumulating bad experiences and I’m tired of self sabotaging. Any advice?