A little summary of the events: I started taking recreational xanax a year ago and became addicted. Now I’m lowering the dosage so I can safely quit it. The thing is that I already suffered from depression but the withdrawal symptoms have made it worse. 

I have been in this process for a little over a month and It has been mentally and physically painful. I’m constantly dealing with suicidal thoughts and anxiety. Sometimes I feel like giving up on life and just end it.

I’ve been isolating from my friends (they are actually good and sober, I’m the junkie one) and even though they say the love me I still want to be away because I feel like a burden.

I feel like I’m good for fucking nothing and I’d be better off dead. I know it’s the withdrawal speaking and not me. Everyday I wake up hating myself a bit more and I don’t know what else to do besides telling strangers on reddit how much I hate myself.