I am a introvert and only child. 

I was a very bright student. Nearly all teachers of my area knows me. They all know that i'm a bright student and i'll be very successful in my life. When I was in 9th standard I was selected in one of the most prestigeous schools of my country. Now all the people of my area knows me(asian culture). I became that one kid that every parents says to their child that look at him,study like him.I was also confident that I will easily get into top universities in my country.

My new school was very far away from my hometown. I lost all my friends back home. First day When I entered my class, everyone was talking about solving calculus and which side book they have solved and which olympiads they have cleared. I was unknown from these books because I was from small town where students always solve academic books. I felt left out there. At that time I was feeling that I had wasted all my middleschool years playing and enjoying. I felt like wasted. At that time depression kicked inside me. I had no one to talk no brother or sisters(i'm an only child). I felt lonely. I get addicted to social media specially youtube and using it as an escape goat to all my problems. Everytime i come from classes I just watch youtube. And this goes on till 10th standard. I passed 10th standard with good good grades.

After 10th standard session ended covid pandemic started and i was stuck my home 24/7. I wan't attending online classes properly. Teachers were not checking homework so that was free from stress of completing homework. I slept and watch netflix and youtube whole 2 years and wasted my most important 2 years of my life. I am in full depression. My motivaition is all time low. I have taken an extra year to prepare for my fav university. But my past haunts me. What people will think about me. All that netflixing is just stressing my head all the time. Everytime I wish i had studied hard my last 2 years but I can't change it. I know i have to forgive myself for the mistakes i have comitted but i am not able to.

Now I'm trying harder to makeup for my mistakes and perform better this year.I know i can make it this time.

Sorry for my bad english.