I have been suffering from depression for over a half year now. Have had some fucked up suicidal thoughts, mainly jumping in front of a train. I have given up on college but I want to start again. I have had a period where I smoked a lot of weed to kind of "escape" the madness. I'm sober for a few months now, and my parents know of my depression for about a few months now.  I haven't received much support from them though. My father tells me it's my fault(bc the weed thing and just generally complains about ne all the time), and my mom just follows along. Now I'm in a situation where I only work one day a week, but that isn't enough for my parents. They say I should work more. I just dont have the energy to do so. I started working out, which kinda helps for the moment. I have found myself struggling to lay contact with people bc low self esteem. My father is now threatening to kick me out if I dont find a new job asap. I just dont know what to do anymore. He just doensn't seem to care at all. Then there's the manipulation. They tell me how I should feel bad for them and how depressed they are because of me etc.