I see so many posts here lamenting about BPD and while I totally relate to that, I'm determined to get better. My boyfriend is pressing me to go to therapy and I'm really considering it at this point. I"m 31 and never been and I know I might need some help but I feel like I'm being selfish by whining about my problems and paying someone to do so (no insurance so it'd be out of pocket...)  But in the mean time, I really want to find some resources that I can implement on my own or with him. He's recently gone to therapy for some of his issues (just started yesterday) and I'm really proud of him and he asked me if I'd do the same, so I reckon it's in my very near future. I'm sick of the angry, mean outbursts and the meltdowns, the jealousy and insecurity, I'm sick of it all. I want to be level, for the first time in my life. I want to see the grey in between the black and white, I don't want to be all or nothing. I want to maintain friendships and healthy relationships. I never want to hear that people walk on eggshells around me again... I want to be BETTER, not just borderline. Thanks for any help or resource recommendations! 