Not sure if this is a trigger warning as the content is very negative.

I’ve always had a tendency to beat myself up over things the average person wouldn’t be concerned about. Such as my ex leaving me for someone else but giving me mixed signals, or feeling inadequate at work even though no one has told me this. I’ve been single for years and I don’t get many opportunities to socialise due to my job’s working hours and all my friends and family being in relationships or having kids. So I have a much higher amount of free time. I socialise as much as I can given the circumstances and have what people would call interesting hobbies and personality.

The simple answer is ‘work on yourself’ but I fundamentally need to change my brain’s thought patterns and feel like I can’t feel secure without a partner. I’m autistic so this probably compounds the issue and I’ll never be able to process thoughts like a normal person. Can anyone help? I’m too old to have these feelings any more. People expect me to be secure and confident at this age, and I try this as much as possible, but the average 30 year old man is way ahead of me in terms of life experience and emotional support from their partners.