I feel like the world is against me. But I know it’s only myself holding me back. I know I’m smart, but I’m too lazy to put it to use. I’m so sad. I can’t tell anyone because it will ruin my life and I’ll be sent to a mental hospital or therapy. They don’t understand. They’re never gonna be able to fix me. And if I tell anyone about this I’ll get stigmatized and doors will close. There’s no way out. I’m trapped. The only thing I can do is pretend I’m ok and keep pushing forward, hoping that by some miracle, things will improve. I’m losing hope in finding love. I’m losing hope in finding my dream job. I’m losing hope in humanity. I’m losing hope in finding friends. I know this may sound cliche or silly to you, but you have no idea what I’m going through. I’ve had to deal with this my whole life. Every day is consumed by it. I can’t escape. I so desperately want to be normal. To have friends. To go to parties. To go to school. To have a relationship. To have parents who have loved me my whole life and cared about me. I know I’m privileged. I know  I’m lucky to have a dad with wealth. But I don’t care. I’m tired of people telling me I have it good. I’m tired of people saying others are less fortunate. I’m tired of living this god forsaken fucking hell of an existence. I didn’t choose to be a straight white male. I feel like it’s be easier if I wasn’t. Then I could be ok with voicing my frustration. I’d have support. People would care. But instead I’d just get called a fucking incelif I shared this. I’m not. I don’t think women or gays or anyone else is directly responsible (sorry if I offended you. This is just my raw emotion and it’s not meant to hurt anyone). I think the world is just so caught up in caring for those who have been neglected for so long that they think disregarding those who committed those atrocities deserve it. I understand. And if I were you, i might feel the same way. To make this clear, im liberal. I think love is love no matter who is with who (consensually and age appropriately). I don’t want to draw attention away from those who need it more. I don’t want to show anyone who knows me this because I don’t want to burden them. All I ask of you is please. Don’t tell me how I feel is wrong. I just need something to help me through this. Please