I feel like my norm is empty and miserable. Like I have dramatic highs and lows, but empty and miserable is a *good* day for me. It’s my version of *balanced*. Nothing sticks, I can have the best morning while I’m doing something that I enjoy, then as soon as that thing I enjoy is over, nothing. Empty and miserable again. Same thing with lows, I can go from having a breakdown, self harming, researching the least painful ways to commit self murder. Then when I’m over that, I’m back to just being empty and miserable. Nothing fills my emptiness for long, nothing changes my miserable outlook on myself and my life. Or just life in general. Just this constant emptiness, the need to do something to fill that emptiness, but too miserable to do anything. That’s me I guess.