I’ll try to make this short. I had to take an entire week off work. 

My co-parent has bipolar, BPD and was having a manic episode and admitted himself to the mental hospital. He took our children every morning while I was working, and he worked nights (always has) so we never had to get childcare thankfully.

Inconveniently this week, our youngest son had a serious constipation issue and I, as a single mom had to run to multiple pharmacies and get the correct medicine, and do it myself. Which is nearly impossible. What 2 year old wants an enema, ya know?! 

I have anxiety and PTSD from my co-parent overdosing a few years ago, and I had to give him CPR. He was bipolar manic at this time. Since this was happening again, it caused me extreme stress, anxiety and PTSD symptoms.

I couldn’t find a sitter without other people missing work or me paying someone. Which I cannot afford. I also can tell my older boy is wondering where his dad is, so I felt staying home to be there only parent currently, that it was better for us as a family. Not to mention my anxiety, my sons constipation, etc. 

I tried to explain this to my boss and the first time he understood and said if I needed anything to tell him. Then, when I told him I need the rest of the week off to deal with this plus my son being sick, he said “I need to be able to rely on you a little bit. But do what you gotta do and we’ll talk and figure it out Monday.” I could tell he wasn’t happy. 

I feel guilty. This job has been good to me but what I’m dealing with is beyond their comprehension, because I can’t explain without bursting into tears and having a panic attack. He doesn’t understand that all of my coworkers would be asking questions and I just did not want to talk about it, so staying home to collect myself and “wait it out” to see if the mental hospital helps my co-parent so he can see(and I can trust him with) his boys again every morning. 

Should I write my boss an email explaining it? I’m sure we’ll talk Monday but I don’t want him thinking I’m not a good employee. I try my best and really enjoy my job, this situation is just very hard for me. 

I’m having heart palpitations, the shakes, mood swings and depression now dealing with ALL of this. Can anyone help me? I’m embarrassed to talk to this with my friends they don’t seem to fully understand since they don’t have mental illness. 

Thank you.