This is how I'd describe myself. If the sidewalk only allows two side-by-side, I'm the friend walking behind. If there are four seats in the car, I'm the fifth friend. I spend my life over-analyzing every social interaction, and cringing at poorly handled situations from my past. I'm not personable, and anytime I bother to "let loose" I'm told I have too much energy and I'm too intense. So I recess back into a neutral shell of a personality, with no strong feelings on what's happening, and no inclination to speak beyond one word interactions. I try to better myself, but self-loathing and self-doubt causes me to falter in any endeavor to improve upon myself. What unlucky lot did I pull to become the person I am? Then there is the guilt for feeling this way. I have functioning limbs, and I'm well fed. I have a roof over my head. What right do I have to operate as if my situation were grim? I complain from a position of relative ease. I wish I could quiet my thoughts. 



Sorry, having a bad day.