I’ve noticed this in the past weeks:
* I’m apathetic to a lot of peoples’ experiences and only seen them as a means to help with my projects or if it personally affects me.
* I don’t take the time to learn or understand complicated topics. I either give up, do the bare minimum, or get surface level info.
* I don’t view peoples’ trauma as something to be empathetic towards but rather as a tool for projects (I hate that a lot).
* I have a huge ego. Like I imagine myself being perfect and my projects are like amazing and no flaws and I shut all the haters down with witty comebacks. This is extreme. A more tame example is people who need help I help them with my notes or that I get everything down perfectly (like an assignment). I also think I’m sort of intellect even though I’m average.
* I project A LOT. Last week, I was really annoyed by a girl just standing in the wave and I ended up shoving a girl on accident. She made (justifiably) annoyed comments and on my way to third period I was thinking about how people are so petty and let the smallest things get to them. To add on, I also thought it if I was some cool YouTuber who’s funny and relatable. When I got to my third period I realize I was the petty one and I let little things get to me.
* I don’t think critically a lot of the time. I just get so frustrated and make excuses for my bad behavior.

I need help but I don’t know. I don’t wanna make excuses since that’s just gonna enable more bad behavior. I know I made a similar post to this before but I need more detailed advice. There was some good ones but I disagreed a lot with the ones I got. So I guess I’m trying again. I know it sounds weird but I’d prefer if there was no positive like “it gets better” or “live in the moment comments.” Also be harsh. I know that’s weird but if someone is not aggressive it’s hard for me to change. So be blunt.