Like, why do I care what a 7 year old thinks? Their opinions change by the day.

For the sake of this story, my name is Tom.

I see her maybe once a week at LEAST and she never leaves me alone. Always wanting to play, showing me her toys, cuddling, me and my brother and her always go on walks etc.. Everyone in my family says "you're clearly her favorite" - I always say that no one should be the favorite, because I don't think you should pick between family members. To her though, I felt like one of her heroes... I loved being that person.

Now. Tonight...

We was having a get-together for my other nieces birthday and just before we was leaving, my sister jokingly said to her "come and give your favorite Auntie a big cuddle!" and she came over to say goodbye. 

My sister said to her (again, jokingly) "who's your favorite uncle?" whilst looking at me and expected her to say "Tom is!"... but she paused...and then my sister said "Tom, right?" and my niece shook her head and paused again before shouting "Scott!"... now obviously I laughed because "kids, eh?" and walked away... but secretly I was upset. I heard her then say "Tom is my 2nd favorite".

At that moment, my heart broke a little.

It shouldn't matter to me at all. I'm an adult. She's a child. But it does. It really got to me.

The reason this really hurt my feelings is because her other uncle Scott is a few years younger than me who she doesn't see much of at all (once every 2 months or so?) and she isn't really close to him like she is with me. She is very shy around him and he doesn't make much of an effort.

I thought I was the light of her eyes. Even her dad (my brother) says it.

I've tried so hard to be a good uncle and made a lot of effort over the years... it was crushing to hear that I'm 2nd best to someone who doesn't try to make an impact in her life.

A great day, soured by my own tendency to dwell on small events.

I'm pathetic. I'm never anybodies preferred choice in life. Not my friends, not with females, now even my niece says I'm not.

I feel people only like me because I'm 'there'. Like I'm just mediocre.

I've just been laying face-down on my floor, kind of empty.

I was really happy earlier... but that small, trivial comment from a child had me shattered.

Ugh, god knows I need to start my life anew.