Hi, I'm Gabe.
I have Bi Polar, Depression, Anxiety, and ADHD
 I have insomnia and a family history of mental illness and suicide. And to top it off my wife just left me and took our daughter with her.
These are generally pretty dangerous combinations that can lead me to dark places and since my wife left about a month ago I'm in a dark place that I can't seem to get out of.
I'm 25 and I'm ready to die. I'm ready to let go and be done with it. I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I have no energy and I still have to used energy I don't have to be able to function, to go to work, to do basic things. And worse I have to use energy I don't have to fight a constant mental and emotional battle that ill never be able to win and beat.
Because of my mental illness for the rest of my life ill have to constantly fight an up hill battle with an enemy that never quits or tires. An enemy that wants to hurt and destroy me. An enemy that uses me against myself because he knows me better than anyone. An an enemy I can't run away from or hide from, he is me. He is inside me.
My mental illness leaves me with a permanent chemical imbalance in my brain that can't be fixed, only managed with meds that barely work and usually leave me feeling more tired than I already am.
I've recently started therapy that so far hasn't helped much but I've only just started so I'm hoping it'll be able to help some.
I've recently began writing short stories about mental illness and the thoughts and feelings that possess me in the hopes that putting down on paper what I'm going through can help me and it does help a little for a short while helping me distract myself but it doesn't help much long term.
My mental illness leads me to dark places of hopelessness, loneliness, pointlessness, insecurities, uselessness, and when I'm pushed to my lowest points I'm filled with thoughts of suicide and death.
I'm tired of fighting and I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired and exhausted and I don't know how I'm supposed to keep going. I'm ready to let go and finally get some rest. Some peace.
But I can't because I have a family who heavily depends on me being here. A young daughter who needs me around.
I dont know what to do but I'm trying to find a way through.
Anyway thanks for listening.