I’m seriously trying my hardest to recover. And alongside recovery I know I’m going to have some slip ups and it won’t just be smooth sailing. But it seriously is hard for me to have someone who says they love me and support me but continuously does stuff that hurts me. 

My heart seriously hurts. My boyfriend always tells me he understands me and he wants to be there for me and he won’t do stuff that he knows that triggers me (stuff he also doesn’t like me doing bc it hurts him) again and he does it again. We JUST had this conversation earlier today about this issue because he did it earlier in the day. And he did it again. AFTER I JUST FORGAVE HIM. 

But if I say “it feels like you did this on purpose” he’ll get mad at me for feeling like he’s being malicious. But it’s like HOW MANY TIMES do I have to tell you this hurts me. HOW MANY TIMES do you have to promise me not to do this (something that bothers you too??) Like it’s just not fair. And keeps hurting the more his behavior persists. Bpd aside, I don’t want to keep hearing “I’m sorry” but absolutely no change. 

Like seriously if it’s not communication issues with him it’s apologizing with no real behavioral changes.

I feel really alone and hopeless 😔