and some of her following. again. i shouldn’t have. i really wish i didn’t, but i’m just going to have to remember this feeling for next time.

what i saw wasn’t a big deal now that i’m thinking about it. i’m trying to calm down and look at the reality of all of this, be as rational as i can be right now. it was nothing, but my head spun it into something else and what i felt in that moment made me want to kill myself just to escape it. of course i’ll never ever take it that far again but .. yknow. even after all these years it still hurts the same way. i feel so pathetic :(