I want to preface this by saying that I'm pretty young. I'm fully aware this app has some pretty toxic shit going on in deep subreddits, I just didn't know where to go, but I knew I wanted to vent anonymously.

All I want to do is die. I wake up and I go on my phone and all I fucking see is pretty people, skinny people, fucking perfect people and it makes me want to kill myself. 

I don't understand why I don't look like that. I should get to be beautiful and gorgeous but I'm not, I'm just disgusting. I force myself to go to school and all I'm ever thinking about is what I look like, what I must look like to them.

I've been diagnosed with OCD, anxiety, body dismorphia, depression and I'm on medication rn, but it doesn't change much. No one fucking understands. 

And I'm so lost. I want to do so much with my life but I don't know how to stop feeling so shit. I can't kms because it would hurt my family. I can't go on pretending I'm ok because I cannot cope. I can't take a break because I've done that for the past 3 months.

I hate it here.