Specifically my mother. My anger gets the best of me and like most I say horrible demeaning things. 

She said she's done with me. I'm not sure exactly what that means, but that's what she said. I'm only 17 and I don't have a relationship with my own mother. I know most of the times that it's my fault, but it still hurts to see her be so close to my older sister and always texting her. They act like best friends.

I feel like a stranger to my mom. I miss being close to her. I say sorry but of course a sorry doesn't heal anything really, even though I really am sorry. I noticed I'm very codependent with her, and even though our relationship is hanging by a thread, she's the only person I have yet I treat her like shit and I don't mean to. I feel crazy. I just want to have a normal relationship. 

I have an appointment with a therapist for the first time on the 29th and she won't come with me even though I've asked. She just said she's done. She doesn't deserve what I've put her through for 17 years. 

