And I hate myself for it.
While knowing that I overuse it even when unnecessary, I am a broken person who just should disappear. 
I wish my end is near.
Every few days, I wish for my end to come soon.
Maybe within a year, I don’t know.

I cause more harm to others and myself than happiness. My existence is pointless, a waste, and I just don’t want this anymore.

I don’t want this anymore.

Sorry dad, babe, and friends.
I have been contemplating death a lot, and you all know it or have sensed that I am very depressed, and have been for a long time.

I want to be loved but I am so terrified of stretching my wings and finding connection with others.

This is a letter to those I care.