i was going through my first depressive episode, which started when i was like eleven, when i finally got psychiatric help, at sixteen. my psychiatrist was an idiot, a complete dumbass. he treated like a child, belittled my problems and blamed it on being on puberty. he completely ignored the fact that i had mood swings, not only depressions, and put me on an antidepressant which’s name i can’t remember.

and then i got stupid energetic and frenetic. my adhd worsened to the point i stopped being able to sit down and study without having a fit. i used to be the best student, and downgraded to someone who was barely mentally present in class. i became so irritable, something so uncharacteristic on me, i didn’t feel like myself. that smae irritation drove me to speaking up against my psychiatrist and demanding a new one.

this new one, guy who actually knows what he’s doing, took that antidepressant away from me and put me on lamotrigine. and things are so much better now. i feel like when i was a child again, so honestly happy, no lies and no filters. i’m hipomaniac now, and things are so much easier than before. i get much less sad, much less angry, and much more happy. i still get my moments, but i don’t feel hopelessly lost. still a long way to go, but i’ve improved a lot.

i can’t blame it all on my old psychiatrist, but he did screw me over a bit. he got me somewhat out of my depression, but created a deep hate and terror of dchool in me. but oh well, life goes on