I have always had an anxious personality. I guess this was my first proper date in forever. It was so good. I really like her and we had a great time. She wants to take things slow and I feel if anything were to begin between us, it has to happen right now (anxiety rules). I feel like this is my final chance at having someone that gives a shit about me and someone I care about. Today is a terrible day. I’ve been in the bed all day, skipped work, haven’t had breakfast. Just drowning in fear and anxiety. I’m so angry at my situation right now. This was the lone ray of hope that came into my life and now it all goes down the drain due to this stupid illness. I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression for a while now. I was 10 when I got diagnosed. I’m 23 now. My life is passing me by, leaving me behind. I’m grateful for yesterday though. Each moment of stability is savoured and accepted with gratitude. My anxiety peaked 2 years ago and i’ve worked extremely hard to get it down since then. It was a rough road. There were some slip ups too. I read this somewhere today, “ There are no rainbows without rain”. I will get through this, I am resilient. I wish you all better days only. Thank you for listening.