My girl was diagnosed with CPTSD, she also has a "subdiagnosis" (lack of a better term/understanding on my end) being BPD. 

I love her very much, but dealing with her and these states of mind she gets into is so draining. Sometimes I feel like I'm her father and she's stuck at 17 years old.

She has the capacity to do better, I know she does because I've seen her in better states. But like clockwork, every 4 months *something* happens that just sets off the spiral. They were much worse than they are now since we started dating (going on 3 years together) since she started therapy and taking sobriety (only alcohol dependency) seriously.

The main problem I feel, is that she continues to associate with her familial abusers (father/mother/stepfather) and most of her friend group are either extremely toxic, on drugs, alcoholics, mentally ill themselves, or just outright childish - Several of which are all of these things in one. The bottom line is most of them have negative coping mechanisms and although she has been sober for four months, she recently slipped up and blacked out one night (spent all of our bill money) and instead of encouraging her to stay sober, they egged her on to drink and party all night (driving her car which I pay for wasted despite having a DWI already) and I know she bought everyone drinks with money we don't actually have. Over $450 gone in a single night.

I have tried painstakingly to show her and demonstrate how bad of an influence these people are to someone who is not only trying to get sober - But for someone trying to cope with a mental illness. They know of her condition, as well as the fact that we are burdened financially because of her past mistakes thanks to alcohol abuse and hanging out with them - But she continues to hang on to them despite the fact that they just keep her stagnant and from moving forward.

All of the times in our life where she kept them at bay and didn't hang out with them, we had our struggles but things were at least 50% better when they were not present. The minute she cycles back into hanging with them, shit changes immediately. It's like she's living this double life and trying to be this wild 17 year old party girl and be a mom and a wife. Let me tell you how well that's working out😑

I just don't know what more I can do. I have to give her credit because her recent manic state was handled very well despite what I just described happened, compared to what they used to be like, and for how long. But I still feel that the problem could have ultimately been avoided had these people just been out of her life completely. I never would force her or make her choose between me and people she loves, I'm not that type of person. I still make my opinions evident but I walk a fine line.

I'm just looking for advice and a place to vent where people understand what this is like.