Okay, so I have a hard time being vulnerable with people, even people I think i trust. Whenever I’m thinking of telling someone something deep, I usually get stuck in a mental tug-of-war between “I should open up because were really close” and “I’ve not ever opened up so we must not be that close” and end up not telling them out of stress. I was thinking and realized that sometimes I do open up, just not the way a lot of people do. (Or maybe they do. That’s why I’m here.)

I have a couple of very specific topics I know too much about and can infodump about at any given time. Whenever I’m close to someone, rather than talking about my life, I end up going on huge passionate explanations about everything I know. I think it’s sometimes overwhelming since I’m very quiet, which doesn’t help with the nervousness. But I guess I just feel safer around people that I can tell those things to. If I know they’ll be okay with an almost completely unprompted rant about a particular trope in literature, I know they’ll be okay with anything else I might tell them. But I feel like I’m the only one that does that. None of my friends talk about their favorite things in that context.