I act super irrationally and say and post crazy shit. I’m mentally ill, I’m sick, I’m in pain. People watch you like you’re an animal at the zoo. I know they look at what I do and say and think I’m just insane or that I’m losing it. It’s so dehumanizing. I feel more like a spectacle than a person.

What if they had to live it? What if they were in the brain that had these irrational thoughts and caused these weird actions. These overreactions. What if they were on the other side of the door that they shut me out with. They just watch me but what if they were here with me.

I’m dying inside. Every cell in me is in agony. Everyone’s love for me comes with a small side of ridicule. Nothing is unconditional. I want to die.