Almost never been single. But the worst is that I can barely be alone physically. I immediately get depressed  even if I have a boyfriend and some friends but alone time just kills me. It doesn't give me relaxation and I am worried about what my partner is doing at that very moment.

I feel like I am living through his perspective more than my own. Let me explain. If I am at a little get-together with people I might wonder and worry more about what my boyfriend is doing than actually enjoying the event. If I think about living abroad for a shorter period of time, the first thought popping up is, will he cheat on me while I am away, will he find somebody better, will he do things which are inappropriate? 

You get the idea. I feel like my life/feelings/self-worrh is tied to how he lives his life. Of course it is the same for him if he sees how some things effect me.

It is a horrible way of living and I don't know how to get better from this.