I’m on some medication. My emotions are a roller coaster. I have lots of positive things going for me, but don’t seem to have any interest in pursuing anything real. 

Feeing stuck in a financial loop. Always broke. When I work, always spend looking for gratification. Want to be better than a warehouse employee. In my whole career in warehousing l, I’m surrounded by people who are old and frail, the work beats them down. They continue to work because that’s all they know. 

I don’t want to be come that, but find it extremely hard to get the the process of being better. My mind just blocks it’s all out.

I’m keeping myself from trying new things. From succeeding in something else. I’m afraid of what I will continue to do. I’m terrified of who I will become. Life has to be better than this bullshit we got going on in the USA. 

Just needed to share this ti some strangers. That you for reading about my feelings.