i’ve looked at a lot of support forums (i accidentally stumbled upon, you know which one, “for bpd relatives” thinking it was a support group) but they seem to demonize y’all and treat y’all like monsters. both that and the new diagnosis really effed with my mind in the last couple of days  - it both answered so many unsolved conflicts (like i always blamed myself and was confused for how he treated me when splitting), but it also really confused me in terms of how to treat my brother. 

i am currently his favorite person. we get along very well as for now. but i know it won’t last forever and i’m emotionally prepared for when he will eventually split and abuse me for a period of time before he switches back. 

the abusive periods are really difficult to put up with but the best thing i can do is avoid him as much as possible. 

he got diagnosed but refuses treatment for now.

i heard a lot of conflicting advice as to how to treat borderlines. from cutting ties to controlled affection, i’m just confused now so i want to ask you guys who have it. 

how do we non-bpd treat you? how do we treat you when we are the FP? how do we treat you when you split on us? should i accept the love he gives me now or should i keep things semi-distant? 

are there things that make it worse? 

i love my brother and i don’t want to demonize or shun him but i also don’t want to enable him if that’s what i’m doing.