I went to school once this week and it was because I had to. The only thing I’ve been doing this week is sleep, cry, repeat. In the middle somewhere, I would cut myself to feel something other than sadness, but it doesn’t, so I drink alcohol to make me fall back asleep because I just realized something when I woke up this morning; I just don’t want to be awake. I want to stay in dreamland where everything is alright. I’m trying to get help, but I have to wait a year. I can’t wait a year. I can feel that it’s annoying my s.o and that they won’t deal with my shit much longer. I don’t know what I will do if I lose my partner on top of everyone else. I’m at the edge right now, I could tip over at any moment.