But I have a hard time going to sleep. It’s a little bit bedtime procrastination and maybe anxiety? I just don’t know what else to do. I’ve tried doing nothing for like an hour before bed, maybe some crochet, no screens. But I just get bored. 

Basically, when bed time comes, a few things can happen. 

One, massive anxiety. It seems to stem from feeling like I didn’t do enough during the day. Chores, errands, whatever. 

Two, paranoia. I do actually believe my apartment is haunted but it’s never been enough to actually be afraid of and I think 90% of the time it’s literally just me being spooked for no reason. 

Three, I don’t even know what to call this one. It’s what’s happening tonight. Outside I’m tired. I have a migraine, I started my period, I’m tired. But *inside* it’s like I’m kicking and screaming. If I wasn’t so damn tired physically I feel like I’d be banging on the walls. Sometimes I feel like I’m going stir crazy or like it’s cabin fever. I know covid has us all feeling cooped up but I get out enough. I go to the grocery store and I get Starbucks. Maybe not as much as I’m used to but I never was an extrovert anyway. 

I don’t get it. I don’t get why night time and going to bed makes me so many different types of insane. It sometimes helps when my husband is home but not always.