I want to leave. 
I don’t want to die but I want to leave. 

I don’t have family to go to. They abused me. 

I live with my boyfriend. But the amount that I hate myself has kept me in this relationship of being hurt and not receiving the love I don’t think I deserve. 

He sent me two tik toks. “Borderline: do you know someone in your life like this? Manipulative, sexually promiscuous, unstable in relationships, an addict” 

Horrible fucking “doctor” who in part two says “Borderlines”(wtf) “are closely related to anti-socials”

The amount of guilt and pain I have felt from my alcohol addiction is insurmountable. I never asked for it. 

I was sexually abused as a child. I have trauma. 

I am shamed for having trauma I never asked for. 

I am dehumanized for being a struggling alcoholic who dreams and works so hard for recovery. 

I am demonized as a “Borderline”.

I am a woman and have had my rights to my body stripped away. 

Our symptoms are impossible to tell apart from reactions to abusive relationships we are in. 

I’m having meltdowns? It’s me.
I’m angry and hurt? It’s just your Borderline. 
My emotions are stamped as null- it’s because I’m mentally ill.

I can’t handle it. It’s too much. I have no where to go. I don’t want to die.