I have this amazing boyfriend, we've been through hard stuff but now it's great, so I'm idealizing our relationship somehow.

Today I found out that one of my male friends might be with someone now. We haven't even talked or seen eachother that much for the last year, because he used to have a crush on me and it bothered my boyfriend.

Anyway, the thought that he is with someone now breaks me somehow, not in the way it would hurt in a romantic relationship or anything  but i just feel abandoned, even though we barely talked. And it's not the first friend this happens to me with.

Why the fck am i this selfish and just want the possibility of all attention while im in fact focused only on my boyfriend like a stupid bitch??? And it's weird to talk about this with anyone, they'll just interpret it differently.

If anyone feels like this somehow, can you tell me how you cope or rationalize this? 