*(English isn't my native language, so sorry for any mistakes)*
 
I'm someone with a shit ton of problems, I have MDD, ADHD, Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder and a bunch of other bullshits.
My life is literal fucking hell.

I don't have the motivation to do anything. (Studying, eating...)
When I try to study I get distracted and just say fuck it. I used to do pretty well at school now I'm barely hanging there.
When I don't do the things I'm supposed to do I get anxious as hell.
I JUST WANT TO FUCKING STOP EXISTING.
My parents know I have depression, they try to act like they care but it's obvious that I'm not the child they wanted and they're disappointed with me.
I used to be interested in a lot of topics and have fun researching about them, now I couldn't care less. What's the fucking point? 
Do I even have these problems? Am I sure I'm not faking them? Idfk (For the record, yes I go to a therapist and take antidepressants, they're shit)
I hate myself, I'm disgusting, lazy, dumb, ugly and just a piece of shit that shouldn't have existed.

I really wanna kill myself, but I don't have the balls to do so.I've even hurt myself. The only reason I'm alive is because my best friend is there for me.

I don't know what to do with my life, why? Cause I live in a third world country and I also have a shit ton of physical illnesses.

And no this isn't something new, I've been dealing with it for over 2 years. I don't need someone to tell me they care about me, I just wanted to talk.

TL;DR: I hate myself and don't want to do anything.