Things are truely looking up to me, I left school (which is the my main source of PTSD) and going to Tafe to do something I love. My boyfriend loves me and I have 2 of the best friends in the world etc.

But recently I've just, let loose? I was so cruel to my boyfriend a week ago (passive agressive) without realising it, I feel my suicidal thoughts coming back and I, miss the panick attacks?! what?! 

It's so confusing, I'm getting more numb and confused as each day goes by, I'm probably gonna dump my boyfriend soon which will leave me even more lonely. 

Something has happened to me sub consciously and I feel as if I might end up self harming again or killing myself. What went wrong?