I try to keep my instability under wraps but it always comes out and I hate that. I recently contributed to three separate occasions of conflict in the last two months. All of these situations could’ve been avoided if I just used clear communication. Instead I opted for inappropriate and brash reactions. This last bad decision affected my boyfriend who is now being harassed and has asked me for space. He expressed disappointment in my behavior during a group situation as well, stating that my communication methods are inappropriate. Had I just been direct maybe we could’ve solved the conflict. Either way, this has put a damper on my spirits. It’s not that I feel bad for myself I just feel bad for what I put him through. I just wish I didn’t have these issues. I wish that I had a healthy normal brain. These flashes of anger and emotional instability is so bad. I just want to be in control. I am tired.