I’ve always been very extroverted and known as someone with a large network. I loved being the center of attention... or so I thought 

With the pandemic hitting and my relationship with my boyfriend stabilizing into 2+ years, I feel like I’ve gotten very antisocial, but I guess I’ve loved it?

I downloaded Clubhouse recently which is the new social app, and have talked to so many strangers and met mutual friends. It’s been EXCITING and ADDICTING... I spent all day on it. 

I thought I was having fun, but now I catch myself checking my IG or my profile pic to see if it’s up to expectations, and comparing myself to pictures girls have posted on their own Instagram to how I look in the mirror (although I know they’re all touched up). I then feel anxious about my boyfriend not liking me chatting it up with strangers (he’s very introverted) and then anxious that maybe we’ve been stabilizing cause the pandemic has basically gotten rid of a lot of fight starters since all I’m doing is staying home? 

Anyways, I realize everyday how toxic social media is to someone like me that can so easily get into a anxious train of thought. I’ve definitely deleted Twitter, erased Instagram every few weeks, and realized how necessary it is. 

Thanks for listening to my anxious ramble so late at night LOL