I think it's working. The lifestyle change they force on you is brutal and unpleasant but that is the nature of the beast. Change, real radical change, will always be ugly and painful. You'll think it won't mean anything because nobody cares but really that's why it will mean everything.

A change, big or small, can only mean something if it's real to you. As I look into the face of discipline, I  doubt the meaning everyday but you know what? It's better to suffer and learn through this then to remain a passive realm of nothingness. Where no matter how bad I want fulfillment it never happens because I take the easy way every-time.  The truth is that discipline has sharpened my brain and made my world smaller. As my eyes narrow through the pain, who I am becomes brighter and clearer. Who I'm not becomes a distant memory.

In the back of my head, I have a vision of a me without a care in the world. I have a dream of me being able to smile everyday and I mean really actually smile because no matter how bad the world is, my shit will be together. When I exit training in 5 months and come home for reserves, I really believe that I'll be unrecognizable and there won't be a single employer or person that can deny my purpose.

TLDR: Life is full of road blocks, I simply picked a path that I know will provide if I keep faith.