It’s hard. It’s hard to want to but to know I wouldn’t. I have an almost 3 year old and she’s my world. I just wish things were easy and I could give her more. 

I’ve been so stuck in my head and feel like I’m on auto pilot. Christmas is this weekend and it honestly couldn’t feel further. I normally fill my own stocking and this year I just can’t. 

I want so desperately to just be okay like I always say I am.. why can I just be ok?