Me 25M - experiencing cycling since the age of 19 - some background:   
\- Addiction since the age of 9  
\- ADHD (born with this)  
\- OCD (at 19 yo - pure - went through all kinds of themes by far the most painful experience of my life so far - treated about 90% after 2 years of therapy)

Question:   
\- Cyclothymia ? - what up until recently thought was seasonal depression - I realized didn't fully make sense because I would cycle every year between been extremely depressed for about 5-6 months, to being suspiciously confident, ambitious, happy, open-minded, loving everything about life for like 2-3 months (before I thought this was me coming out of depression and being genuinely happy but a few weeks ago I read about cyclothymia and I thought FUCK this matches everything I've been going through so well and then I thought fuck my life this shit is scary - the others as fucked up as they are I could somewhat fight them but this is a whole new beast, I'm yet to learn about - will be booking a session with a specialized psychiatrist to see what my options are and getting a diagnosis - the only reason I don't think I have Bipolar is because my episodes of highs and lows aren't as 'extreme' as what people describe in bipolar. But I kind of wish it was seasonal depression now because Cyclothymia just messes with you differently - in a cruel kind of way - the way you can be on top of the world and then within days drop to the lowest point of your life and be stuck in the prison of your mind - having planned to have the time of your life, travelling / meeting people / having nice food etc. - but NO! You now shall be depressed and miserable for the next few months (and not just sad/miserable, it's like being sad but on steroids - Brain basically says "I will show you fucked up perspectives of life in the most creative way possible - things you could never have been able to think of in such a sad and depressive way enjoy...").   


What do you guys think Cyclothymia or Bipolar?