I thought it might help stop the suicidal thoughts to just hurt myself a bit instead. But I don't feel any better. I feel even worse. I'm 30 years old. I've never cut myself before apart from twice when I was 14. I'm disgustingly embaressed. Why am I behaving like a stupid teenager. I'd hoped the cutting might release some of the pent up anger inside but it's just made me feel even more suicidal knowing that this doesn't help. Nothing helps. I've tried therapy multiple times it doesnt work. I feel so hopeless.