Ever since I was 19 I have had sex with many guys. It’s disgusting but I’ve slept with probably at least 20-25 men in the last eight years. I just feel so ashamed and disgusted. Some of them I met at bars. The others were from dating apps. A few of them are men I’ve hooked up with multiple times. I’ve only had sex with two guys this year. One was a hookup/one night stand and the other is a friend of mine I have sex with a lot. 


It’s like when I’m sad or anxious I want to numb myself so I have sex. I don’t even care for the sex. I mostly just like being cuddled as well as feeling loved and wanted. 


Nobody knows or understands how horrible I feel about myself. I feel like if I tell a therapist that I’m a whore they will think I’m disgusting (which I know I am) and won’t want to help me.