so ive had anxiety my whole life, was diagnosed with gad (generalized anxiety disorder) at a young age, so its been a good 5-6 years of knowing and understanding and growing and just finding ways to cope. i have gotten so much better and my mental health is at one of its best places right now, i surround myself with people who listen, my parents and boyfriend and best friends love me unconditionally, and i am taken care of. i trust my therapist so much, and there are teachers at school i can go to when i need them. but there is one thing that i cannot really explain to anyone and it makes me feel crazy. 

just last summer, i had a really bad high and ended up nearly greening out far from home. it was one of my first times being high and it was by far one of the most scary experiences i have ever dealt with. i couldnt walk or talk or write i had to lay down and if i was not looking directly at something and sitting still everything was in slowmo, and words that people said were delayed from when their lips moved. it was so so so scary and no words can explain it. but the depersonalization and derealization i feel felt similar to that, (my reason for explaining the bad high experience.. incase you needed a way to understand what my depersonalization feeling was). i was out of my body. i would look down and my feet were moving but i wasnt moving them, not with my head. they just moved. my therapist told me that it was a form of ptsd that my depersonalization developed after that event, and it has eased since then, but this is what happens to me sometimes, i will try to explain below but PLEASE be aware it could trigger some, I AM EXPLAINING MY DEPERSONALIZATION SO BE WARNED FOR TRIGGERS!! 

if i am walking or doing something or going on a hike or just doing anything that is or is not stressful, sometimes for about five seconds, i will lose sense of everything and just be an existence. i lose control of my body and it just moves or just sits there and i cannot control it. i am out of my body. sometimes i will look at my hands and everything goes in slowmo. like my body literally functions without my head doing anything. i have even looked in the mirror during it and i dont see me? like i do but i cant?? its not me or something like it is i cant even explain it. i feel like unless you have depersonalization episodes too you wont get it and i sound crazy but i guess my point of this post is to ask for clarity? does anyone else get this? how do i stop it? am i alone? is this normal with anxiety and past trauma? 

it only happens every once in a while and it doesnt control my life. i dont have any bipolar disorders or anything besides anxiety and ocd, its all controllable but i am just looking to see if anyone can relate. thank you for reading, i hope everyone is well!!