I can't stop thinking about this girl I had a crush on in high school. I had crush on her for 6 years in high school. It's been 5 years since I passed out from high school and I still can't get her out of my mind. I haven't seen her apart from social media for 5 years. But, to this day, I can't find anyone more attractive than her. No one is even close to her elegance. All I think about when I'm lonely is her. I can't even masturbate to porn sometimes. When this happens, I open her Instagram to release my load. She is not considered curvaceous or sexy by people, but for me she is perfect. She is the symbol of a true woman. 

Is this really something special, or my diagnose of obsessive and bipolar disorder (or possibly borderline personality disorder, not sure at this point. I just know there's something wrong with me and I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder with obsessions) has something to do with this?