i'm doing my best to do opposite action to shame, i'm doing my best to self-soothe and practice mindfulness, i'm doing my best to stay afloat...and **fuck** the shame is so intense, it literally feels like it's going to kill me.

it's making me feel suicidal because it feels impossible to tolerate (even though i know it's not)

really, really struggling lately and feeling really lonely. i feel like i don't deserve to be alive and i wish i wasn't here.