I’ve been feeling this way really ever since I went off my meds (couldn’t afford it) and I was expecting that but today is where it kinda hit me. 
My kinda stepbrother (I say kinda as they’re not related by marriage yet but they’re close enough that I consider them family) came over to stay the night tonight and I was so excited to see him as I don’t really feel like I belong in my family except for when I’m with my siblings. I was adopted so feeling out of place has always been a thing for me. 
Well I tried my best to be a good host and he was having a fun time and all but for some reason I feel a weird type of way, like it’s not enough, I’m not doing good, the feeling of not belonging is there again. 
I feel this mostly when I’m around my mom so maybe the correlation is connecting with him as well. 
I just feel like I’m not supposed to be here, and I’m a mix of feeling out of my body, out of place and a lot of negative emotions.
This is my first post and it’s kinda just me talking about my thoughts but I hope this makes any kind of sense to someone lol.