i moved states to be with my partner. i couldn't bear the thought of being away from them and not being there for their happiest moments. it took a lot of willpower to move because my old housemate was very controlling, did not want me to leave/get off the lease and made things very difficult. i had to cut my arm so i could go to the hospital and get a letter to actually leave my house and move. as soon as i moved i lost my job, and had to look for a new one within a month.  
i would honestly not mind going through all of this struggle if there was some joy at the end of the journey, but because my partner lives with their parents and doesn't want to live with me, all i feel is just intense loneliness and anxiety at the thought of not knowing when i'll see them next (even though we schedule when we'll see eachother, it's never as much as i want).   
what i really want to do is live with them and just be a regular housewife. we're both 25 but it feels like we're living as kids in one sense but with these crazy adult pressures like jobs and stuff on the other. they say they're an 'introvert' and that's why they need as much alone time as they do but it just really hurts me, and it feels like i've sacrificed so much for very little.   
its tough because they're not just my partner, or even my FP, they're also my best friend and i kind of can't imagine my life without them. i think we genuinely love eachother. i'm just so scared when they're not there.