I hate when my SO feels distant...

We are sometimes on a ldr as she goes to her hometown for a few weeks. But she gets very distant sometimes. Takes for ages to respond to my messages, doesn't seem to engage in conversation, etc.

This so hard on me, and I can't rely on telling her that. I feel like im just needy and dependent on her. So I try to just keep it to myself. But as this goes on, I just feel myself splitting. I convince myself that I don't care, and I try not to go around and send her random messages along the day. Slowly I fade into  reality (or at least what I make of it) that she is just ignoring me. I get annoyed and I tell her. I feel ashamed of chasing her response and coming around needy...

This repeats through out the times this happens (around a few days at a time). As I express more and more how I don't like that she is distant, the shittier the situation gets. I feel like and absolute Ahole for having to remind her of me.

This fades away as she understands we are in fact distant, and things shouldn't be this way. We get to talk as normal. 

This leads me into a few days of doubt and I feel hesitant to message her. I hate this feeling.

Deep down I understand that she is busy studying, family, sleeping(as she does short naps throughout the day). But I just can't really deal with my emotions in the short term and tend to close myself. Going through it rn and it sucks, I'm in the phase of ignoring her messages after saying that I felt she was being distant (im in shame tbh). 

Feeling great despite of that. I'm looking foward to my next appointment as I feel like I'm doing so much progress. Just feeling anxious because of uni, no biggie, had worse. And 1 month sober after my last heavy relapse. 

Wish you all happy a happy week. Thanks for coming to my TED rant.

TLDR: Sometimes girlfriend gets distant and I have an hard time dealing with it.