I just feel like I'm not here. I don't feel right. I have no thoughts in my head. Just numbness. I feel comfortable in this numb place. It just surrounds me like a warm familiar hug. People come and go, but the feelings stay the same. I always let people down so I don't feel like trying anymore. Sometimes I think I like being miserable. Go through the motions, day in and day out. Watch the people around me living such normal lives. How did I get here? Why can't I go anywhere else? What should I do with all this time I have on my hands? A day without anxiety would be nice. One without depression even better. I hate knowing that I have to live with this the rest of my life and there's no way to change me. I'm 22 years old and I feel like I've been ruined for the rest of my life. 
Empty thoughts. Fake smiles. Looking at your feet while you walk, to make sure that nobody notices you. Being that fly on the wall. 
There's something I envy about a house fly. Their lives are only about 28 days long. 