Okay! So my girlfriend and I have been together for 3 months. We are both passionate about each other and the things we love, and I can genuinely say as someone who has steamrolled through number of relationships in my life I truly feel a strong connection with this one. 

The unfortunate situation is that we both have BPD among some other mental health problems, which can lead to some emotions running high. We are managing and learning very well for the short time we have been together, and known each other before that to understand and see the signs and triggers in one another. We get along well, but of course sometimes we have strong feelings about things that matter a lot to us and that can cause some butting heads. 

Currently we are in the verge of breaking up because we want different things in our future, however we love each other so much already so it’s hard for our emotions to handle. We don’t know what to do, we are at a loss. There is ups and downs to both sides, of course. 

She has always wanted a child, and I myself have never pictured a life with children. That’s the issue we are facing, I feel right now that I want to do everything to make her happy even if that means learning to want a child of my own. The reason I don’t for context is for one, I’ve never aspired to have that for myself. I love animals a lot more than having a family with kids. Second is I have sensory issues, and loud noises like banging and screaming really set me off in a bad way. 

She also is very involved with her family, and I have little contact with mine due to toxicity. I’m starting to see patterns in her family, and I’m afraid to be a part of it because I chose to be away from mine and it doesn’t seem right or make me happy to force myself to do that. However there are days I want to try, or at least wait it out until I get more therapy and the right medication. Sometimes I feel like I’m just the problem, that my mental health is what’s getting in the way and this isn’t just “who I am”. 

But I don’t know if that’s healthy, does this risk a worse break up in the end? Or do we break up now and try to move on before the love gets stronger. Our brains are fried trying to figure this out, we only want what’s best for each other but we can never really understand what that is. If anyone out there has any tips or suggestions for us it would be greatly appreciated, thank you for the few that take the time to read this ♥️