I work with this guy who I've been super close to and if anything he's lead me on, hes initiated things when he already has a girl, he is leaving work for a month to go and see - tomorrow is suppose to be his last day but I absolutely don't want to be there, today was hard enough the only issue is that I drive us both to work. 
I feel like from the outside perspective if I don't drive us both in/go in it seems like I'm being super selfish but I honestly know this will kill me, I cried in work today but without anyone seeing and I just feel like I'm in a massive depression haze but really don't want anyone to see how upset this will make me.
I've self-harmed over this but managed not to let anyone see. 
I'm really trying not to be emotional about this at all so it doesn't come across as manipulative, I'm really tryin to be better.