With all honestly , i am a person that i capable of living a good life , i come from a good family , with a healthy enviorment in both my home and school . To be honest my life could look amazing from any strangers perspective , specially for many costa ricans since iam part of a wealthy class in a poor country . My life still somehow took a turn to hell and fucked everything that i was capable  of building . I have an amazing mother , that now is very chill and nice , but when i was younger i had auditory probelms in one year , something that gave me a bad time in school and after that she bassicly became heavily over protective of me . That somehow made be get scared of the world and i started to grow older in my early teen i started to developed very heavy social anxiety , it got so bad that at a point i was scared of even saying hi to people i knew .  That issues is bassicly the resaon why i dont have any friends right now at the age of 19 , i basscily ruined my reputation at school with my weird attitude . Iam heavily insecure and at time my social anxiety comes back at the worst times . The pandemic made me experiance heavy lonliness , wich is something that scares me alot beacuse nobody at the age of 17 or 18 should be expericing that . Porn addiction has becomed my friend and i am thinking of it way more that i should . It got to the point that i started to touch my self 4 times a day . Right now in life i got no real motive to continue and study , i feel so lonely and empty . i hate the fact that i have wasted all my teen years in my room and barley got the chance to experiance any social life . I am basiclly invisible to everybody right now , i dont even talk to my cousins or my only friend . I am scared to live a life of lonliness . It makes me so upset that i had the chance to make a good life with nice people on school and that now with less that a week for graduation iam going to exit school with no friends at all . I am a waste of space for somebody who had a real chance of having a good life .