F 24, taking lamotrigine 200mg daily

I’ve been diagnosed for four years now and I’m stuck in the same cycle: I take my medication, then I start feeling like I don’t need it, which leads to a manic episode, until I suddenly have a depressive crash and ask my doctor for medication again. You’d think I’d know better by now but there is always a point where I somehow manage to convince myself that the medication is pointless and I do better without it. 

My friends and family know about my diagnosis but I don’t think anyone feels comfortable enough to tell me that I might need to see my GP when I start showing manic symptoms. It doesn’t help that I am so heavily deluded during manic phases, to the point that I convince myself that all my friends and family are against me and I’m the only one that sees sense.
  
So far I’ve only been able to seek help when I’ve crashed. It’s an awful feeling, my work and finances are suffering and I just want to stop.

Is there any support that anyone has had in terms of sticking to medication? Have you had this problem and found a way through it? Any advice would be useful!