
I found a subreddit that’s about dating people with BPD and my god the posts are awful. they say they’re so strong and powerful but fail to explain why they’re so brave. they just say that they dated a borderline and it was hell. everyone else in the comments is like “omg i’m so sorry she tried to kill her self you’re so brave”. to me it just seems like a big circle jerk of “i chose to date this person but i don’t like it so instead of leaving i’m gonna post this.”

and then i think... i am the person they’re complaining about. my mentality of they need to get over it is the reason they hate us. some of the things on there really pissed me off. people were saying BPD is awful to deal with, uh. it’s awful to live with. they fail to realize the reason we have it is because we were so horribly abused. 

it’s sent me into my just about hourly mood swing, looking at that subreddit. it’s awful. the way they depict us. they call us abusers yet fail to say how they were abused. they complain about having to deal with us, yet can leave at anytime. 

i just... i don’t get it. am i so bad? i messaged my boyfriend saying sorry if i ever did (anything that those people mentioned) and now i’m thinking i’m bad. maybe i am just like my abuser. 

it’s an awful illness that plagues your brain yet so many people portray us as evil. that whole subreddit was filled with people calling borderlines psychopaths and other junk. 

does anyone else read those subreddits and get angry because you think “fuck them, they’re playing the victim by claiming it’s so awful to date a borderline?” but then realize that you’re doing the behavior they’re complaining about? 

or you read the countless posts and comments about why you should “run” as soon as you find out that your partner has BPD and you feel bad for having it?

am i a monster? it’s shit like this that makes my depressive episodes worse and makes me think that i really am like my abuser and the world would be better off with one less “monster” in it. (i’m not suicidal, just tired.)