Emotional and emotionless at the same time.

Work, boss yells, I cry.

Boyfriend and I recently broke up, I feel totally numb, emotionless. I feel sad, I think of him a lot. But I had to end it because I’m not what he deserves. He would say, “I love you, you’re my everything. I can’t wait to marry you. I can’t wait to live with you and be a family.” And I come back with “awe thanks. Love you too.” And it’s not that I don’t want those things, or not that I don’t want them with him. I am just.. empty. I’ve felt this way for probably a good 10 years now. Of the people that have come into my life, weather a relationship or friendship… I just can’t connect. I wonder at times if I’m any good for my son.. I’m lacking any connection. He doesn’t want to be around me anyway, I’m uncool and he’s 11 now, just wants to be alone. I feel sad when he’s with his dad though. I’m trying to seek help with my doctor. Just kind of tired of this ruining my life and potentially happy future.