I have known my best friend a little over a year. We've gone through hell and back together. Unfortunately, my way of coping with stress has been to blame someone for it, and it's been this way for years. In my hypocrisy I haven't blamed them for anything, but I have blamed relatives and this has created some strain on our friendship.

I refuse to make any excuses for the situation I have created for myself. In fact, the conclusion I've drawn is devastating, but it's something I'm pretty much dead set on.

I think the only fix for our relationship... is making it distant and less special. I feel like they've seen all there really is to see of me and I had my chance to be good, and squandered it. They express a desire to forgive me, but I don't want that honestly.

The thing is, even if this ends up being the right step to take, it's causing a slippery slope of depressive thoughts. Maybe I'm not meant to be someone to be a close friend of. I just don't know.