Imma keep it a short. 

2012: Found out I had ocd 

2016: Got depressed cause of failing school, than later got into a heavy beef at a party which turned into paranoia for like a month at some point the paranoia was gone and eversince that moment Ive been dealing with dp/dr. Still have dp/dr and I barely feel any emotions for like 5 years straight now

2020: Lost a loved one and got tinnitus which made me super depressed I thought there was no way out

2021: Fell out in the beginning with my bestfriend after 8 months of overthinking everyday what i did wrong i went 2 talk with him and he said from his side it wasnt a fallout and I still was one of his bestfriends but that we just walking separate paths now that we getting older. The tinnitus caused throughtout this year alot of distress i was so focussed on making sure everything I heard was real and at some nights when in complete silence I heard sirens and a tv from a distant at that point i was 100% sure I was becoming schizo. Around september I was kind of finally getting rid of that and thats when the paranoid intrusive thoughts kicked in. I sat in my room and the thought popped up " what if a loved in the crib kills you " i was shook and couldnt let go off the thought and that one has me in a headlock for 3 months rn and its getting worse cause my mind keeps making up new paranoid thoughts everyday. My life feels like a nightmare because of these thoughts combined with dp/dr and depression. Sometimes I feel like something bad can happen any moment. I went to the doctor and she says its OCD but im sure it isnt anymore and that im experiencing psychosis. The thoughts get super real at some times (even though I never act on them) which gives me panic attacks and shit. 

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I cant take it anymore and idk what to do. I really do believe that this is psychosis / some break of reality (or maybe even early schizo) and not OCD anymore but she keeps saying it isnt I feel lost and alone. Nothing gives me pleasure and I dont feel relaxed not a single minute of the day anymore.