Im 16 i struggle with deppression and anxiety and lately ive had no feelings what so ever its like im numb inside and i just dont care anymore. Im no longer happy around my freinds,family or my girlfriend i used love being on my phone but not anymore ive been getting pissed off at the littlest things such as taking trash out or walking the dogs. The only time when im happy is when im listening to music. I see a therapist every couple of weeks and i enjoy it its someone who I can talk to and no be judge by and me and him get along fine. Ive tried multiple times to get a job but nobody has called me back I turned in a application at the school i go to to be a custodian after school hours so im hoping to hear from them soon and i hope I get the job that way im not always in my house doing nothing. Ive never thought about kms but i never want to get to that point and it scares me because of the way i feel ive havent been the same since my mom died about 3 months ago and me and her left on a bad note it was a love hate relationship and the year I left her custody to go live my grandparents because they were more of a family to me than my mom was cause she was always into drugs and stealing money so i left to be in a more stable environment and that entire year I hated my mom and i never got the chance to say sorry to her for all the things ive said and did and it hurts me inside. I dont want to be put on medication cause drug abuse runs in both sides of my family so I want to get through all of this without i know i can I just cant give up. I thought i could write some stuff about me and what Im going through to read some of your thoughts and storys to try to help me.