Could be something so small and insignificant, like losing in a stupid videogame or making a mistake while cooking.

But all I know is, is that every time I fail in front of other people, it reminds them of all my failures. It gives the few remaining who even bother to tolerate my existence another reason to show that i'm nothing. I have no job, I'm ridden in issues, disabled and in pain constantly with nothing but family who mock and hurt me every day, and I shouldn't even be here. I was never meant to be here and every waking moment is a testament to that.

Once I fail, my friends can see plain as day, that I am that horrible useless pile of rot. I can't do anything for them, I am not satisfying, I will never be useful to anyone. I will never prove my worth to anyone in any conceivable way because I am a disgusting pile of rot who shouldn't have ever been born. 

It's all my fault. I'm depressed because I'm not strong enough. I don't have thick skin, I can't take a joke, I can't laugh it off when my family bullies me for being homosexual, or autistic or weak. It's all my fault, I should be better yet all I feel is depression and anxiety and despair for all my failures. 

I make once mistake, I know it, how bad I really am, how useless I am. 

If I can't do everything perfectly then I'll never be useful enough because of my worthless useless body that can't contribute to society. I'm just a mouth piece taking oxygen away from those who deserve it. I'm a parasite. I take but can never give back. What use am I? None.