I’m a 20y/o male and I’ve finally accepted that I am never gonna find genuine happiness. I used to think I deserved to be happy bcause I’m not a bad person. I don’t think I am. I’ve made some bad decisions in my life but I know that deep down my heart is pure. But it’s as if nobody values loyalty or kindness. People just use me for their own personal benefit until I am no longer needed. Then i get thrown out and replaced like an old sponge. It’s like my only purpose in life is to put other people in better positions so that they can move on to something better. And tbh I’m done with it all. I’ve been depressed for so long yet somehow I’ve managed to hide it from everyone. Somehow I’ve still managed to make other people laugh even though I’m miserable inside. And even when my sadness is noticeable I still sugar coat it and act as if I’m okay whenever people ask. I’m basically a sad clown. And I don’t know how much longer I can take this feeling…