I’m a student in grade 12, and I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety for years now. This year has taken a toll on me and I started having feelings of anxiety again and that developed into a sort of existential crisis. I started thinking about my place in the world and why i’m here, why my life is the way it is. On another note, I also think i’m toxic. I’ve been telling myself for years i just feel things very heavily. If i’m feeling sad, it’s the most intense emotion i’ve ever felt. Same with happiness, anger, etc. I feel like maybe this is the reason i’ve lost friendships over the years. there’s nothing i can do about it, but i’m so aware of it. I’m feeling so much but so little right now. This post probably won’t make much sense because i’m typing this at 5am in my bed after sobbing into my pillow. I needed to ramble a bit. 

I don’t know what i’m feeling anymore.