I can't see a way that continuing to exist will ever pay off for me .
It's just give, give, give. 
I get up for work and am plagued with suicidal thoughts all day long, avoid my coworkers, and then repeat the cycle. 
I have a few days a week where I can be "happy" and actually talk to people like a human being, but I have enough foresight to tell that my life is never going to change for the better, if anything it's just going to get worse and more depressing. 
I'll have these moments of lucidity and realize that there seriously is no place for me. I can't relate with others for whatever reason, I clearly make others uncomfortable with my silence. I feel no compulsion to make friends with anyone, I see no benefit I suppose and that makes it clear that I am some kind of sociopath or that I am anti social. Even though I am most critical of my shortcomings in the social sphere I can't help but push others away. 
In short, there is nothing worth this work I do and continue to do. 
I'm merely working for my continued living and that isn't enough for me.