I’ve been in a really dark place since mid-March and my work and life is suffering  immensely because of it. I’m behind on so much work and not being a good team member and I feel so shitty and lazy. I tried getting productive in the morning and “start my day off right” and it works for maybe about an hour, but that darkness just comes back in the late morning and nothing seems to help. 

I’ve been on Wellbutrin for about half a year now but it’s not really working for me. Tried other meds in addition to that too but it made me feel nauseated the entire day and I can’t do anything or focus on anything when I’m nauseated. I feel like I’m such a weak inferior person in every way and on top of that all I’m feeling immensely lonely. I’m sick of waking up at every hour at night, crying in my dreams and waking up with that congested feeling in my nose and bursting out in tears. 

I’m in a city with very limited therapists and no available sessions until the fall. I just need to “snap out of it” long enough to get through the next three weeks because these three weeks are crucial for me. I’m so behind in my work and in everything and I know motivation doesn’t last (not that I have any) but me trying to muster up willpower finds me sitting in front of my computer with my mind utterly blank even though I know I have that knowledge and know-how in me to tackle the tasks. I just literally can’t bring myself to do it. 

I need to snap out of it. How do I do that?