For the past four days I’ve been cleaning pretty much nonstop and either drinking or wanting to for the same duration. Usually I have no energy because I’m depressed as hell and chronically ill, but my brain feels like it is going fast and I need to keep doing things to keep up with it. I don’t like how this feels. Even though I’ve been doing a lot and logically know I need to stop or rest so I don’t send myself into a pain flare, I can’t. I don’t feel sad but I don’t feel good, this is bad and my brain is moving too fast. The only way I can think to articulate it better than that is it feels like I am on a tightrope but I don’t know how to explain why. I don’t like this.