There is a TLDR at the bottom, I just wanted to give context before anyone asked. 

For context: I (26f) have been in a relationship with my partner (23f) for just over two years. She is diagnosed with Bipolar type I and has frequent hypomanic/manic episodes, (I’m talking like at least once a month with hospitalisation once a year). 

I am also diagnosed but with type II paired with ADHD, so needless to say we are a fiery couple with a myriad of issues, but no shortage of love for each other! 

The current situation: after about three months of trying to maintain her stability upon noticing the early signs of mania, we slipped up with the sleep for ONE night (I’m sure you can guess why) and things started to spiral from there. She became hypomanic and the meds weren’t strong enough to hold her back. It took a turn for the worst when the sleep medication the doctor prescribed had the opposite effect and she became full blown manic. She then went on to drink and smoke behind my back (knowing I would’ve urged her not to), and a few hours later we were in the ER to treat her psychosis. 

The dilemma: she’s been in the psych ward for a couple of weeks now. She’s much better now and seems like her hypomanic self. She has, however, been getting far too close with another patient. She confided in me during our last visit, and claims that it’s because she’s lonely, and I can imagine the hyper-sexuality doesn’t help. The nurses can only do so much to keep them apart, but she’s still somehow managed to get close enough her to …you know… 

I’m not jealous because I’m aware that they’re both in a vulnerable state and are probably just trying to keep each other company. I also really feel for my partner and how lonely she is, but for obvious reasons I don’t want her getting involved with another patient like that. I told her it was inappropriate and to consider how I feel, then she asked if I could sneak in some of my worn underwear to sniff the next time I bring her clothes so that she wouldn’t have to “find it elsewhere”. 

My question is: is this an appropriate thing for me to do? Is it morally ok for me to fulfil this request for someone who is recovering from an episode in a psych ward? It made me uncomfortable at first but at the same time I am her partner and I don’t want her to feel lonely. I wouldn’t even think about this if she were still in psychosis or fully manic but that’s not the case now. In a vulnerable state, yes, but I’m not touching her inappropriately or even flirting back, it’s more just that I want to give her everything I can to make her feel more at home in there. Would I be wrong to do this for her? 

TLDR; is it morally okay to give your lonely partner your worn underwear to sniff at night while they’re recovering from mania in a psych ward?