I (25f) going through a therapy due to childhood emotional and physical abuse from parents which developed in BPD and other mental issues. 
All my adult life i thought that only my mother loved me, though she ocassionaly would say hurtful things to me not realizing it (you’re getting fat, that cloth is ugly, why you look so bad etc). My relationships with father collapsed after my brother was born (i was 9yo then). I resented him and abused him for years because i thought he was the reason why my parents stopped loving me. Since i started hating my little brother, my parents punished me, mostly dad. Then my mother would come to me and say how much my father hates me, i ‘m stupid piece of shit and nobody needs me, i’m so dumb i will become a hobo and live under a bridge. My hate started growing towards him, i didn’t speak to him at all. For years my mom would just randomly come to my room and tell me how much my father hates me. 
My teenage life was hell, at 17 years i found some random dude with apartment, took my stuff and left home, just to get away from that hell. Spent some years drinking and using drugs, but then something clicked and i jumped into making my career.
Started therapy, meds, and putting my shit together. I got several promotions, i was very successfuly climbing career ladder,finished university and fully paid for it myself, never ever asked help from anybody. My mom was proud and supported my success, parallely telling my how much my dad hates me and i’m just lucky or sucked a dick for promotion.
This month shit happened between both parents, father got wild, too embarassed to explain. But my mom was in danger, he was chasing her, threathening, i was so scared he could hurt her. I pushed her to write a police report but she hesitated. Then i wrote it myself, fully describing her words, AND THEN TURNS OUT IT IS NOT THAT BAD AS SHE TOLD AT FIRST. And then it clicked me, that she is making it seem worse as it is. I realized that everything that she told about my father is lies.
Was she gaslighting me all these years? I tried to talk to my father, after many years of silence, i told him how lost i feel, not loved, but he just kept talking about conflict with mom and i realized he just doesn’t give a fuck about me.
In the end, my mother is a liar, not thinking what damage she caused by telling me those terrible things. But she also doesnt take any responsibility of her actions and words and doesn’t understand what is wrong with that. And my dad, maybe doesn’t want me to die, but doesn’t give a fuck either. Why my family is so fucked up.. i can’t wrap around my head how can you do this to your children…