Possible CW w suicide mention. Also on mobile, please excuse any formatting.


About a week ago, I was trying to explain why I'm staying in a certain situation to a friend. My biggest factor for staying was the overwhelming amount of guilt I would feel. My friend told me that I needed to learn to process guilt in a healthy way, and I feel completely lost.
In that moment, I thought of all the ways guilt has held and is holding me back. 
I worked myself to death in school, because I would feel guilty if I didn't. I don't come out as bisexual to my homophobic parents, because I would feel guilty if they felt like "failures of parents". I feel guilty over shitty things I did well over 5 years ago, where everyone has moved on but me. I don't go through with suicide, despite knowing I would realistically feel no guilt if successful, because of a variety of guilt. People have spent money on me before, I would let people down, it could be messy and expensive ect, ect. Now, I see myself stuck in these situations that dont conform to my values out of guilt and I'm at a loss. I even feel guilty posting this rant because I know there are so many others out their struggling with larger things. Which I realise is invalidating to my own struggles, but it's hard not to feel this way. 

Does anyone have any suggestions for coping and dealing with guilt? I currently don't have access to a therapist, unfortunately.