**\*Trigger Warning Passive Suicidal Ideation\***

Ok so I quit a job that was making miserable, and I'm on my last week of work. My last day is Friday.

The problem is that I'm so far down a hole of depression that I can't even seem to function at work in basic ways. Instead of sending emails I know I should send to help with my departure I just stare at the screen thinking I wish I were dead. Even though I rationally know my body needs it, I find basic self care, like drinking water to be pointless. This makes me hate myself more. Normally when I'm not this depressed I'm relatively high achieving, so this level of low function is really hard for me to accept.

I just need to make it to this Sunday when I fly home to stay with my mom for a few weeks, get a psych eval, and do my best to get better. Please note I'm already seeing a talk therapist, but she is not an MD/ NP so she cannot prescribe me meds. 

Any tips on how I can hold on? When you feel this way, what do you do? What do you tell yourself? Do is there a particular crisis line that has helped you?