**Backstory (sorry it's long):** Known her for over 10 years (we were around 17/18 at the time I think), had a bit of fun but nothing ever came of it. Talked intermittently since then sometimes with gaps of up to a couple of years.

September last year we started talking again, met up a few times and ended up sleeping together a couple of times which at the time I thought was just 'blowing off steam' for both of us.

Fast forward to current day, we've been seeing a lot more of each other and although she avoids using the 'R word', it feels a lot like a relationship and we're just generally doing all the things a couple would do. I'm falling for her HARD.

Generally our time together is very pleasant, but almost once a month something minor which I've said or done has sent her into a state where she's pretty much shouted me out of her flat.

The first time (not knowing about the BPD) I tried to calm her down, failed, and subsequently had to leave. Although she ended up asking me to come back about 3 hours later and we spent the rest of the weekend together.

The second time, having been made aware of her BPD and done some research, I was able to pick up on the early signs of her about to explode and was able to talk her down before it kicked off, but again, that was heading towards me being sent home.

Most recently, things went from 0-100 so fast I didn't have time to react before it was too late and I had to leave again, in probably the worst scenario we've had so far. But despite that, she still messaged that night saying she missed me.

**My thoughts:** I fell for her before I realised how much she needed help, and while the prospect of a relationship with her doesn't scare me at this point. I'm just not sure where things stand morally?

When she's calm and happy and generally thinking straight is when we are closest, so I'm inclined to believe that the relationship is real. Because it's only when she goes like 80+ that it falls apart.

But part of me is terrified that she doesn't actually want a relationship with me and that her BPD is simply seeing comforting traits in having me around and latching onto them.

I'm really scared that if I don't work out whether I should be drawing a line under the relationship and tackling this with her as a friend, or fully committing to the relationship (if it exists) and just accepting that there will be testing times ahead; that I'm going to compromise any trust she has in me and then I won't be able to do either...

Help, please?