I (27f) just finished things with my fiancé (26m) of 2 and some years. We both have bpd. It was the best decision for us both. He needs help that he won't get while I am around. And I need to be by myself. 
 
 
Our relationship was great. Everyone said we made a perfect couple. He could understand the bpd thoughts I had and never invalidated them. He put me at ease. And I did the same for him. We were two peas in a pod. He was the only person I've ever seen marrying &amp; maybe babies. Then the inevitable happened and I won't bore you with the details. 
 
 
I've never been the one initiating a break up before. I love him, this is so shit. Deciding to leave the person you thought you were spending your life with is the absolute worst feeling in the world. I know he will be self harming right now, drinking himself into oblivion. I had to act like that doesn't kill me inside. I was 70 days self harm free. How do I process this? I hate myself more than ever right now.
  

I don't know what to do. Sorry for the rambling... I needed to get it out.