Well, hello I just feel like I need to tell some things about what I feel. I am pretty depressed like you would expect, just a year ago I was the happiest man on earth. I had a girlfriend, I was accepted in the college I wanted everything was fine. But it lasted four months. My girlfriend dumped me in an horrible manner, my family get through some troubles. And I stayed friend with what was now my ex. She remembered me sometimes that I was cute and maybe she still had feelings for me. I couldn’t turn the page. Then problems started she was cold and dumped me as a friend. I cried a lot and there we are depression. Many other things happened until now. I asked a lot of help yo my friends, they do what they can sure and I love them for this. It’s been 6 months through what I think is depression. I already planned to go to a psy to get better hopefully. But I don’t know I feel like shit and pathetic. I honestly don’t love myself and I don’t even remember if I ever did. So being loved by someone was great. Finally I could think maybe I worth something. But now that I am all alone I can’t even feel real joy anymore. I had time to think a lot and realized that maybe I never been happy. My dad died when I was a teenager, my family isn’t really one we are just people forced to live together because we are blood related. I am someone good, a funny person I know how to make people laugh, I am also smart and good hearted. I guess that not liking how I look I tried at least being someone great in the inside. But I don’t feel anything anymore. I feel like I don’t want to wake up in the morning, nor eat or drink. Just die alone far away from responsibilities and people. Unfortunately I cannot just die, I think or maybe hope that it would hurt my friends so I keep struggling. When I am sad I just listen to music a lot. When I feel like I will burst in tears I put on my headphones and drown myself in music. Next college year should be great. But I don’t know I don’t feel like I will ever be loved by someone and loving myself feels like impossible. I don’t want to go back to this false happiness I was in before. I think I will try again to get better being a good person and when my grand-father will die a countdown will begin. I don’t think anything will hold me back here for long after he dies. Well until that very moment let’s try not to burst in tears for no reasons. I also developed fears, I cannot stand crowds anymore it makes me feel alone I can’t even think in those moments. I am afraid my friends will leave me without reasons. And many others. I guess I have a year to live if I don’t find anything that matters enough to change my mind. 
Well at least I hope that you who’s reading right now will be fine soon or fulfil your dreams. 
Obviously if someone feel like he would like to talk it would be a pleasure although I am not that interesting and would complain a bit sometimes. 
In any case I wish you luck and good things to happen.