hey everyone

i have several anxiety for 5 years now.

it started with a panic attack which lasted for long long hours. it made me stop doing party drugs. i kept trying smoking weed, cigarettes and drinking a beer sometimes.

but it made me stop doing everything because everything gave me panic attacks.

5 years fully sober after i am afraid of everything like literally. like i spray a deodorant and afraid of inhaling it and stuff like that. 

i havent had a panic attack for a while but it turned out to be anxious all the time. im afraid to exercise because im thinking that my heart cant take it because of the physical effects im getting from the anxiety, i am afraid to drink 3 sips of a beer because i heard that people fained on alcohol, i am afraid to sit next to my friend while they smoke weed because i am afraid of having a heart attack inhaling even just the second hand smoke… 

i am heading to a cardiologist today to make a ultrasound test. i had several ECG tests and all turned out healthy but im still having concerns about my hearth because im not sure if its that or my anxiety.

im not saying i want to do drugs and destroy my life, im just saying i want to enjoy life again and id i go on a holiday i could drink a beer or smoke some weed without fearing death.

is there anybody out there who suffered like this type of anxiety and overcame it?

please let me know

all the best to you guys