    I guess part of my problem is that you absolutely never can fucking rely on anything, people will stab you in the back no matter what they fucking say, friends cone and go, good times are here and gone and then it's back to misery. Misery is the only fucking bedrock there is, it's the only thing that will never fucking go away while friends and family and security can be torn away whenever life decides. And you're supposed to just fucking accept it and be an adult and blah fucking blah. How the fuck am I EVER supposed to accept this? Will death bring me peace? Death seems pretty fucking permanent but none of us really know. Which also pisses me off.