Hello all, I’m 25F and excited to have made the decision to move in with my beloved gf who I’m going to be proposing to later this year. The trouble is that, to do so, I need to get out of my current lease/roommate situation that just isn’t working out. All of it is triggering my anxiety so badly and I just don’t know what to do because just thinking about it has me on the precipice of an anxiety attack. 

Honestly, I haven’t even been able go into my own apartment for nearly two months because of the anxiety. I’ve been living with my gf whose lease ends late Feb while still paying rent (my lease ends June). I have a long history of PTSD related to feeling unsafe in my own home (abusive parent, roommate who credibly threatened to kill me, neglected as a child) and all of it is triggered when I go to my apartment where I feel very uncomfortable and my roommate exhibits a lot of the same patterns as the one who wanted to hurt me. I texted her a month ago that I want to move in with my gf and am open to taking over our current lease plus paying for moving costs, or her finding a new roommate, or whatever other option she’d be open to but she hasn’t responded. It took me weeks to build up to even sending that text and I’m going to send another one this week but I’m getting the sense I need to talk to her in person. Problem there is that, like I said, my anxiety makes me panic just being in my apartment or thinking of confronting the situation. Doesn’t help that my roommate will go into her room and shut the door anytime that I do go into my apartment, respond to me when I say hi, or respond to my texts.

I want so badly to move in with my gf and get off this lease but I can’t get past my anxiety. I plan on asking a doc for some Xanax to help with the panic attacks but I just don’t know how to get through this situation. My gf is so supportive and has suggested to help me draft texts and is open to so many options for moving but I am just having such a hard time. I feel I am letting her down and I don’t know what to say when her family asks about how our plans are going. Advice appreciated.