I’m really not certain because i’m only 15 but it’s just i’m at a loss of what to do with myself. i have terrible coping mechanisms which have come back up in the last few weeks, i have really bad abandonment and attachment kind of issues with my best friend where i spiral and go into sort of depressive episodes when i think she doesn’t care about me or hates me or likes someone else better etc. which makes me feel pathetic. i have very big mood swings but idk if it’s in a bpd way because it’s not like angry to happy and stuff its more very happy to very very sad and empty for absolutely no reason. I also recently found out this could potentially be related to bpd, but i feel SO intensely bored i know that doesn’t sound bad but it really is not nice it feels like my brain and heart is being crushed and the thing is when it’s like that i don’t want to do anything i am just lying staring at the wall feeling terrible. One of the most significant things is my lack of identity, i genuinely have no idea who i am i don’t know what my personality, sexuality and even gender even is. I spend nights crying cause i don’t know who i am and it makes me feel like i’m useless and like a shell of a person or something. It’s sad cause most of my feelings are really really internalised and i find it really hard to talk about my feelings with anyone so i just don’t know. I’m not sure i have bpd but the symptoms are extremely relatable to me. I would really really appreciate if anyone can help me at all i’m just really confused with myself. (Disclaimer i’m not at all asking for a diagnosis i just want to know kind of more about what steps to take) thank you