I just need to rant into the void. Sorry.

I feel like my life is just becoming a cycle of me fucking my life up and then trying to slowly fix it back together again. I tried to start a “new life” for myself following a mental breakdown (which resulted in me going into hospital). I moved back home with my parents, started a new job, ended an unhealthy relationship/affair. 

Three months later, I’m hating my job and planning to leave, trying to move back to where I lived before and back with the same relationship problems again. 

I can’t cope with just being on this fuck up repeat all the time. I would rather just die than keep fucking up peoples lives like this