Title says it all. For a year and a half I have work up with crippling anxiety that has kept me out of work, going hardly anywhere and doing anything. I literally stay home. It’s like my brain is stuck in fight or flight and I automatically choose flight everytime. It’s a battle I’m exhausted and everyday it’s just a mental toll to get through the day. As a younger kid I used to take 1mg Xanax 3 times a day. Well as I got older I eventually tapered down to .5mg one time a day. And shortly before my son was born I had a breakdown and I have been stuck like this. I hardly take my medicine. I take a literal crumble of the medicine. It makes 1/4 of a .5mg pill look massive. As to why I don’t know.  I’m sure it would solve 90% of my problems and just let me function atleast but honestly I’m scared. As stated I’ve taken this medicine for years and in large(prescribed of course) doses. So why is a single .5mg pill so scary to me now. I am just so afraid of a bad reaction it has crippled me and it’s like I not even willing to help my self. For some reason I’m just afraid if I take it I’ll have a meltdown, I’ve never had one before taking it but I don’t know. Any tips or advice. I’m In between a rock and a hard place I’ve got to do something. I can’t keep living like this I just am so terrified for no reason.  I guess I’m just afraid if I take my normal anxiety which is more than I can handle and for someone reason had a bad reaction I literally don’t know if I could physically or mentally  take it.  I’m just at a breaking point. I’ve had a year and a half of my life just wasted. Not functioning just trying to get through the day.