TW — brief mention of su*cide. 


(22F) I’ve been on medication for my depression and anxiety but I don’t think it’s working. As far as I’m concerned (although I haven’t taken every single med in the world) I feel that nothing will work. I’m constantly on edge and even if something has nothing to do with me, I put my emotions into it and stress more than usual. I have a job that I love but there’s someone there who makes it difficult as they pick on me for everything I do and make it out to seem like I’m dumb. Being home is enough for me to lose my mind as I have no friends, but work isn’t an escape as I’d like it to be. I’m extremely sensitive, cannot take constructive criticism most of the time, a slow learner (which does upset people sadly) and very chatty to the point where I reveal too much and become annoying to those around me. I’ve been isolating and becoming more introverted, more scared of the world and I know people say live life to the fullest but I just can’t, it won’t happen — I have an extreme fear of death and am afraid that once I loosen up and become more happy/out there I’ll die suddenly. I know this is all over the place, but my brain simply cannot process putting it all in paragraphs together that will make sense. I need help understanding myself (yes I have a therapist/psych) and understanding the real world..I have a bad habit of spending heaps of money when I’m depressed too, I’ve tried budgeting but it doesn’t work. I put myself into predicaments every time and tell myself that it’s okay cause I’m going to k*ll myself anyways and I need to stop. I guess I just need a friend or someone to talk to, I’m alone.