So basically through conversations with the people I feel closest with (mainly one if I'm being honest) I realize that I'm going to hurt people if I stay alive just by being my old shitty self. But the same people I'm hurting right now claim that it would hurt them if I killed myself? Wtf is this logic? If I'm going to hurt them either way wouldn't it be better if I'm just not around? Because at least that way there's one less person hurting (me)