I have been in therapy in the past and I have been lurking in this subreddit for a while since one of them mentioned I show some signs of BPD. Never got an official diagnosis. I'm 25 years old.

I relate to the concept of FP but recently I've been questioning if it is maybe a crush. I do not think I have enough of the symptoms of BPD to qualify (and my therapist and psychiatrist also didn't diagnose me); I exhibit some of the emotional dysregulation, loneliness/emptiness (who doesn't at this point), and fear of abandonment but just with one person.  The other symptoms aren't present or aren't at the same degree.

I have someone who my mood depends on - I yearn for them to text me back and I'm usually in agony when they do not and I see that they are online. In my mind, I always come second to this person and that hurts me. But every time they text, I feel so much better like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Then, I start to wonder when they will stop texting me again so I try to not text them back so that I can keep the conversation going, but I'm always thinking about the response.

I've had milder version of this in the past with two people at different times, where I'd get hung up on when they texted me back. But those eventually faded away and I'm still really good friends with them now. 

&amp;#x200B;

I do not have intense relationships outside of these three instances. I'm quiet moderate and I know how to temper my expectations and I do not put other people on a pedestal. I'm usually very understanding if my others friends cancel, change plans or do not stay in touch but it really hurts when the current "FP" does any of these. I'm always trying to get their attention. My friend suggested that it could just be a crush. 

&amp;#x200B;

I'm not looking for a diagnosis but just some help from people on what I can try to be better.