Not a big fan of therapy so here it goes. 23m, where do i start? Dont get me wrong at first glance things are better than what they were at least I thought. I have a great job in the cannabis industry where i have moved up within the last two years, equipment and support to further my own aspirations from the field.  I would say my main issues start with me. Skinny and have trouble eating since contracting covid the first time. Depression and Anxiety constantly battle so can never make the routine to workout, eat right/more, get up and get things done outside of work. Havent been in a relationship in 3 plus years due to a toxic first love that cheated and a 2nd relationship where i refuse to put in energy. Being on both sides of the sword did a mental number on me to the point of weak conversations. Met someone i thought was a perfect match, clicked with alot of things, same goofy style, etc. only to find out not looking for anything which is fine i understand. still hang out multiple times and text everyday. So much on my mind but dont want to say bc ik it will drift apart and i eat myself alive for the "what if i" scenarios. Overthink alot to the point i expect the worst or something i wouldnt like to see. just today when hanging out she brought up the party she was at and how it needed more men around. normally i would brush things off but it got me bc i realized thts the reason she was texting me the whole time, the worst part was i gave her a peice of my clothing to wear just to think of her being up on another guy with my stuff on kills me. I was silent the whole time and you could clearly see i was upset.( i can get emotionally really easy so my eyes look sad) Ik i have no reason to being falling like this. I know i should let go but i cant. I expected by now to be better to be happy. I just know im always at the wrong time and could never get to the point. also drifting further from my family. dad has cancer so i always think of the worst outcome. silbings say things that irk me to the point where i dont wanna be around anyone. money troubles from just spending stressfully trying to make myself feel better. i know im capable of alot but i lost my drive in life. i dont know what to do anymore.