So about 2 weeks ago I had a falling out with my friend of 14 years. We decided to be roommates last year. Well as soon as we became roommates he started throwing things in my face. He did help me out a lot financially. He also had the deposit money we needed. But I paid him for my part when I was able to. Because of this he would throw it in my face all the time. He started saying that because of me he lost so much money. We only paid 400 each for rent and I'd pay the smud most of the time. Well last weekend he started a fight because I didn't answer my phone when he needed a ride. I was busy deep cleaning our apartment and I wasn't aware he would be needing a ride since he didn't ask in advance. 


When I had thrown the last of the garbage and start walking back I see him run out of the apartment pissed off. He started yelling at me saying that I owed him 30 bucks because he had to take an uber. It was my fault because I didn't answer his call. But I tried to explain that I wasn't expecting anyone to call and I had been so occupied with cleaning. So he leaves and then continues to attack me. He starts texting me that I owe him the 30 bucks for the uber. And I tell him it's not my fault. He's an adult and that it's not my fault he didn't have his car because he was out drinking with his new friends. Well the whole thing escalated. 


After exchanging terrible text messages I ask him to please not text me anymore for the night. That I was upset and I didn't want to continue saying things I didn't mean. I was already over the whole thing. Until he brings home a drunk co-worker at 3:00 am. Which btw threw up all over our recently scrubbed toilet. I go to bed thinking this whole thing would blow over but the next day I wake up with terrible text messages. He tells me that I'm an ungrateful b***h and that I need to pay him the rest of the money that I owe him asap. I also needed to start looking for another place to live and just all these horrible things. And so I snapped and I storm into his room and confront him. Then I just start screaming all these terrible things to him. I know that I should have not reacted in this way but I was hurt. I also called my landlord and told him what he was trying to do. I know I should have waited to talk things out but I panicked. I was so hurt and I just needed to know where I stood. Legally he couldn't do all of what he was trying to put me through. I felt so betrayed. I thought I meant more than this to him. He was so freely throwing away our friendship. 


Anyway after a day or two we finally talked things through. He of course blamed me for everything. He said because I snapped he was terrified to live with me. And that he didn't feel safe. I don't think this is fair because we have gone at it before. I just don't think he wanted to be friends with me anymore. I took full responsibility and I apologized for not reacting in a civil way. But he did not see where I was coming from. I actually blamed myself for the whole thing. And I hate myself for being the person I am. And to scare someone?! I could just die. I don't want to be a person people are scared of. But after thinking things through I don't think he took any responsibility for his actions. I feel like if he was a good friend he wouldn't have made that ugly side come out. I kept letting him bully me all this time. For instance the weekend before this he needed a ride home from a night out drinking at 3 am. And I didn't mind except for when he got picked up he had attitude. Or was also very foggy so I couldn't see. He then starts yelling at me for not going to my eye doctors appointment. And that it was my fault I couldn't see. But the thing is I hadn't even missed my eye doctors appointment. I didn't say anything back to him. Like always I just kept my mouth shut. But this last time I couldn't hold back. 


He's changed ever since he got promoted to this one position where he gets to work with scientist. Ever since this he has been a complete snob. He's also traveling to Europe soon so I think that made his head bigger. He started judging me for the way I live my life. I don't go out because I either have a flare up from fibromyalgia or I am dealing with my bpd. But he would just always say how boring my life is. And that he doesn't know how I could live the way I do. 


Anyway I can't wait till this whole thing is over. Our lease is ending this month and I'll have to put my 30 days. But it feels so uncomfortable even being in the same place as him. Especially since he claimed he doesn't feel safe. He's known me for 14 years. I can't believe he thinks I'd hurt him. I think he's trying to manipulate the whole situation. I don't think it's fair. I feel like he was gaslighting me at times. Did I screw this up? Did I react that terrible? Is it really all my fault?