I'm in my 30s and recently diagnosed with Bipolar 1. I'm taking 7.5mg Abilify as an antipsychotic (because I get lots of fun delusions, ugh) and Trazadone at night for sleep.

I've had my job for two years now and although I've always been a bright student and a hard worker, I've had so many interpersonal conflicts at work that I've always been hanging in by a thread. My boss and I have had many discussions where he told me that he didn't know what to do with me because on the one hand I'm an amazing worker, and on the other hand I can't go one week without fighting with someone, getting weird on them (delusions coming out), etc.

Well, I had a huge manic episode two months ago and finally got diagnosed.

WOW, what a difference medication makes.

I'm not just less panick-y manic-y all day long, my thoughts are organized. I can have conversations with people without getting paranoid that they hate me. I'm calm, quiet, and productive at work. I'm kind to others. People keep asking me if I found religion or something like that, because my behavior and mood just shifted so radically from what they were used to.

Life is SO EASY now. I know that eventually I'll probably have another manic episode, and the pills aren't perfect either- I still have a decent amount of the "magic tingles" happening every day that I now realize is not actual magic but rather my brain tilting toward mania (laugh all you want, but when you're psychotic believing in magic is just the tip of the iceberg).

Anyway... I now realize why other people my age are earning promotions, buying houses and having families. It's easy to get ahead in life when your brain isn't set to MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE 24/7. When you can actually sleep. Oh my God, sleep. Blissful, deep sleep. It's like I've been drinking lukewarm muddy water my whole life and somebody finally handed me a nice cool glass of filtered ice water. Waking up with actual energy and a calm mood? What??

I'm excited to turn my life around and start to repair some of the damage that my behavior has done to the people around me prior to my diagnosis. I'm also pissed though that I have to deal with this and that it's affected my life so much up until this point. So many instances of fighting with my parents or getting in legal trouble as a teen because I was manic and nobody knew. So much bullshit in my 20s that could have been avoided if we knew. Bipolar sucks!