Look at these videos, after watching these I’ve given up, there is no hope, my life is a pathetic existence that. Fooled itself into thing it’s free: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DMNZQVyabiM and https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zpU_e3jh_FY and https://amp.theatlantic.com/amp/article/480750/ and finally https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/bering-in-mind/scientists-say-free-will-probably-doesnt-exist-but-urge-dont-stop-believing/