Hello, I have been with my boyfriend for around six or seven years now. Not sure about in this moment but we really have loved each other and have had great moments and times of feeling like we are best friends. Those times are great. On the flip side…. We argue a lot. My BPD is a big cause of it. I get really bad, I say very hurtful things I act out of hand. When he’s called me a bitch before due to me pretty much acting like one I’ve brought his mother into it and said his moms a bitch. I’ve made jokes about his life, his career, him not having enough financials to do shit for me. So yes I’m aware I am a big problem. I am aware of my BPD and it may not look or seem like it but I’m trying. Anyways, purpose of this post is I need help on how to feel about something. My boyfriend is the ONLY one I have ever expressed my mental health problems to, he’s seen me really down… talks of self harm… he’s seen how my emotions can flip like a switch, he says he wishes I could always be the same person. The other day during an argument… I said some mean things and his response was that my BPD pushes everyone away, he told me to get help, he told me to go and take some pills ( I don’t take any nor want to so kinda a offensive statement but I understand it was meant to be ) he called jekell and hyde. He told me I really need to seek help and that I make him hate me. I feel I should be able to brush this off and move on since I am the one constantly crossing the line and being mean but I also feel like I can’t I feel like the one person I opened up to about my demons used it against me and some what made fun of me while talking shit