I have BPD and ADHD and live in Canada. Every job I've left I've had panic attacks during my employment. I tried to go in for work and I'd be in a ball hyperventilating and crying. My social anxiety has never gotten better, the longer I worked there the worse it got. It wasn't the people I was afraid of though, it was the monotony. It was like, mental torture. It's not at the normal level other people feel either. Like, how many people get consistent PANIC ATTACKS trying to go to work? I'd be able to work a job for maybe 3 months, then I just start losing it. I managed to work at McDonalds for a year and that's only because I had friends there. I tried seeing a therapist but got a panic attack on the way there and couldn't force myself to go, so now they won't let me try again. Is this social anxiety??

Someone please help. I don't know what to do anymore. At this rate I'll end up on the street when my mom dies and won't be able to recover...