Hello 27F here. And I pretty much dug my own grave. At this age, I have no achievements since I was 20. Trusted people I shouldn't trust. People took advantage of my kind nature and now I have nothing. I'm tired of constantly lying to everyone I'm fine but I'm not. Okay... I'm not. I'm about to be in my 30s soon but have nothing for me to settle down. I don't know how far down I'd go. But I have been thinking recently the easy way out. Well, it's quick and painless... mostly. But I'll take my chances. It's better than this. Being stuck in this shit to deal with. I know I got plenty of time since pandemic to change eveything, but I ended wallowing in my own sadness and depression that I can't seem to go on. People around me like my parents are not the motivating type. Instead, they point out that I'm a disappointment ever since I was young. So all I have is myself. Finding a significant other is difficult now a days... Its all about asking for something in return in exchange for free. I guess, no love for me.

Anyways, I don't know how much I could carry on like this or how deep down further am I going to until I loose myself completely. 

Thank you for your time reading this. Much appreciated.