I'm 18. All my life I have tried to be happy. But since I was 6, some spark in me, the love of life and fearlessness died. I've since had anorexia, emetophobia, depression. I keep trying so hard to make things better and keep failing. I had to leave high school at 16 because of how debilitating my issues were. I've tried to join back but haven't been accepted anywhere. I don't find joy in anything. It's as if I don't feel anything. I can't even express myself in words. I have no meaning. I keep giving up. My parents' lives have been a nightmare and now, I just don't do anything, because I don't want to do anything. Because life just feels so fucking difficult. I'm beginning to want to die. I'm starting to consider leaving life behind. I've tried everything and I enjoy nothing.