My parents were both very young when they had me. Like most cases In this instance, I wasn’t planned. And since my parents were very young, 19 and 20, they ended up getting married after me and now have six kids. I am the oldest and ever since I learned that I wasn’t planned (No, my mother never said that I was and gave that very basic response to try and comfort me) I just can’t help but feel guilty knowing that I’m the reason their prime time ended early. They’ve definitely been through it all ever since they’ve been together and growing up, they would get into fights like a normal couple and I’ve definitely heard them say the dreaded, “I hate you”. But as I’ve gotten older and have gotten more siblings, I realized how stressful and tough parenting is and I noticed that my parents, mostly my mom would always be talking about her high school days, which was right before she had me and whenever she talks about their life before me, I always noticed that her whole mood would go from whatever she was feeling to instant excitement, and being that I was certainly a mammas boy and very close to her, I could tell that’s her happy place. And whenever I hear her talk about it, I can’t help but feel this terrible guilt that makes me feel like Im shrinking because I was the one that ended that chapter in her life. I’ve never really talked about this to anyone before because it’s something that I’ve always thought it was stupid but I never really realized how much it was bugging me until I talked to one of my very good friends about something personal like this