So I’m not sure if I have a physiological disorder or not but whenever there’s even mild conflict, whether it be between me and someone else or between others around me, I get lots of adrenaline. My face twitches, heart rate jumps, I try hard to seem cool and calm. 

Well I like to play siege with some friends and there’s looots of conflict on there, as with any online game. So I’m not great at the game but I’m trying to get better. The problem is people are so mean and make fun of anything you do wrong. And I’m in fight or flight mode to begin with because I feel like people are watching me or depending on me which makes me even worse because I’m on edge. 

I end up having people in voice chat telling me I’m dog shit, my aim is trash, or just talking to me like I’m stupid. And on top of that, as soon as I respond it’s a barrage of misogyny since I’m a woman. It makes me feel awful and today I finally hit a breaking point. I really enjoy playing but the pressure is too much sometimes. I’m so sensitive and I want to be one of those people that just laughs and makes silly jokes in response. But I can’t do that, I get hyped up on adrenaline and I become so emotional. How do I get better with this stuff?