I always see people online wishing they could be the beautiful people around them (which I feel tbh people are judgemental and shitty) but honestly im so tired of being stared at and mired over all the time but the moment I try to reach out for affection im either ignored or treated as second choice

Like honest to god I really just need to hug me or hold me and rejection always makes me feel like a mannequin at best and it doesn't help that the majority of physical attention i've experienced ranges from unwanted groping to full on SA

Idk how relevant to BPD this whole thing is tbh I recently got rejected and I hate how I always have to go through these bullshit mental relapses and spirals every time instead of being able to get on with my life