First it was fitness, so then I got swole. Took some time but eventually I got there but still felt like shit. Not satisfied or happy. Occasionally I'd be proud of what I accomplished but ofc it was fleeting.

Then it was girls, so I went on mission and hooked up with several girls. Still empty ASF inside but the cuddling I really enjoyed.

Then it was money, so i got money and temporarily felt happy but then that quickly subsided.

Then cars. Got a decently nice and quick handling car. Still feel empty and depressed. 

For fucks sake.

I'm taking medication and recently upped my dose but haven't noted a difference. I've been struggling with this depression since a freshman in HS. It just hit like a truck after my first breakup and has been following me ever since.

I hate it, I just don't want to feel shitty and like I want to kill myself all the time. Lord help me.