Wake up. Deal with my dad's cancer. Go back to bed hating myself. Walk the dog. Think about my ex of 7 years ghosting me 3 years ago only to resurface on instagram announcing her engagement. 

Come back home. Log into work. Pretend like everything is okay. Not think about cancer. Not think about my broken heart. Deal with dad's cancer.

Pretend like I'm human again on the phone for work. Have breakfast. Workout during lunch. Hope my body will slowly die of cancer myself.

Go back to dad's cancer. Give out medications. Come back to my work laptop. Pretend like my soul isn't dying. Don't think of her. Don't think of her hand in the hand of another man. Finish work. Deal with dad's cancer again. Have dinner. Look at the ceiling.

No will power to do anything. No reason to be alive. I want to go and die. I'm alone.