Hello BPD sub, I haven't posted here yet, I hope everyone is doing ok.

Sorry if this post gets long, and sorry for formatting, I'm on mobile. 

So, I have been kind of stuck in a weird rut for a mont or two, and i dont know why. It could be one of my other mental illnesses besides bpd. 

My BPD is upsetting at the moment though.  I guess I feel kind of abandoned, and unimportant to my partner. I understand that they are busy, with work, band, and now unfortunately fixing our shower. Perks of an old house everything breaks eventually lol.

I just feel like..especially in terms of their band, I don't place as a priority. I don't feel like they try to make tine for me, and wheb they say they'll do something or that im important...i just can't believe them because I don't really get to see it.

One thing I struggle with immensly with my BPD, is figuring out if my emotions or feelings are based on truth of what's happening around me, or if it is just my BPD.  So I invalidate my feelings a lot and second guess them and even sorta gaslight myself.  I don't know how to tell if me feeling like my partner doesnt make time for me or prioritize me is based on fact.  

It doesn't help that my memory sucks. So i just tell myself I am forgetting the things they do because I can't list them.

Does anyone else sorta...strugfle with the whole seriously invalidating your feelings, and not being able to tell if they're just based on your BPD acting up, or if it is an actual issue I'm upset over.