So my life is fucked. I really wish i knew how to word out my feelings so it made sense to others, but to be honest it barely makes sense to me. I will be vague at times wanting to keep my anonymity.
I have a long story that i do not feel one post would or even could sum up. 

i was not a happy kid at all. I used to act like i was in a straitjacket, sit up on the bench and rock back and forth like i was completely mentally unstable at the age of 7 or 8. 

Started fully smoking cigarettes at the age of 12 and weed at 13. I dont barely drink anymore, i hate fractured vertebrae and what it does to people. Drinking is my sad alone time activity that barely happens. 

Im currently in my early mid 20's. I have a partner of 4 years and a 14 month old child. 

I had a MVA a few years ago and had a TBI and fractured some vertebrae, still dont know how it happened but given how my life was at that point and how i am, its a possibility it could have been intentional.