i posted in here earlier but deleted it after feeling kinda silly but! my fears of abandonment have once again proven to be nothing but an over exaggeration because i talked to my FP about it and everything is fine! 

when i was spiralling over my fears for 3 whole days, someone on here told me that "not everyone is on their A game either. They could be experiencing their own problems, feeling overwhelmed, or who knows what. They are likely aware that you dont handle stressors well, so they could be trying to create breathing room for themselves to deal with her stuff and BPD'ers can be known to be a bit smothering sometimes. I would also suggest maybe just relax if you can. If you show them that youre okay with them needing space - and that includes psychological space too - this will go a long way towards making them feel okay with closing that gap again." (thank you so much for this)

by just calming down, and focusing the attention off my fear of being abandoned and focusing it on "this person needs time/space for whatever reason and the best way i can love and take care of them is by giving that to them" my chest stopped hurting, my mind started to shift into a loving and caring mindset again, and i even had the courage to talk to her and be reassured! 

so if all else fails and you are afraid because of a text being left on read or your FP is busy, wait it out as best as you can and take the time to take care of yourself until theyre ready to talk again and communicate to figure out the source of the problem.