On Sunday I moved into university. I moved into catered accommodation and immediately hated it. I wanted self catered originally when I booked but the only thing they could offer me was catered. I hated it immediately and was desperate to move. The reasons for this are that I find cooking very enjoyable and want to improve at it and I don’t enjoy the times we have to eat amongst other things. I emailed accommodation services asking if I could move and they said yes and I viewed a place. 

However once I realised I could move, I immediately started to see all the things that weren’t so bad about being in catered accommodation, for example, I met more people and I have already made a couple of friends. Now I have to make a decision and I’m paralysed by indecisiveness. Whatever I decide, I change my mind in half an hour. I can see some positives in both and some negatives. I cannot really see myself staying in this accommodation - it doesn’t really feel like me and the one I viewed was much nicer, however I have already met a couple of good people here and worry I might miss out on meeting more. I could really hate my flatmates. I’m sure whatever decision I make I will have times where I regret it. I was also worried about moving to a new place because once I decided to move it could take a while to get everything sorted with leaves me with more time to overthink and change my mind again. I’ve called multiple family members and friends but I am no closer to coming to a conclusion confidently. 

I hate how indecisive I am. I wish I was more confident and all I do is overthink this. I haven’t been sleeping and I’ve changed my mind three times in the past hour. I hate my brain so much. This is mental torture. Maybe nothing will help and I’m just venting but I’m at the point of having suicidal thoughts because this is killing me so much.  I just wish I was capable of making a decision and sticking to it.