I'm not sure what I want out of this post but I assume this is more of a venting-post.

I have a wonderful girl that loves me above all and we've been together for 3 years without a single bump in the road. Lately I've been spiraling down in dark thoughts again, it has been happening for now and then for the past 15 years, never got the courage to seek help although many people have it tougher than me I wouldn't want to take their place at a therapist anyway.

I've forgotten what love feels like and for the last couple of weeks I can't seem to remember ever loving this girl. I'm not sure those feeling are correct of if my mind is playing tricks on me.

I am so scared to throw this relationship away and be single, but I'm equally scared to keep going, what if I wont feel love for another 4-5 years, then I've wasted her time to be happy and start a family as she always wanted. 

This post doesn't have an ending, I think I could keep writing for an hour but I'll stop here.

Thanks for reading.