This is the first time I'm really fully admitting it, I want to kill myself. I have felt this way in the past, thought I was getting better, but I was really just distracted. Recently, I feel like I fuck up almost everything good in my life and continue to make the same mistakes. Every person who comes into my life is temporary, they never ever stay. It breaks me. I feel like I give so much out, only to get nothing in return. Even when things in my life do go my way, I am still so sad. I feel so stuck. I don't really have anyone to lean on anymore and I am scared to tell my parents how I really am feeling. I feel like I really am worthless, I have let a lot of my goals slip through my fingers. There is not one person in this world who looks at me and thinks I am worth it. I am really really lost in life.