I've always avoided labeling my sadness as depression. I don't know why. I always felt like my issues weren't important enough and that I was just being dramatic. Throughout my life, I would feel sad often, I don't cut myself but I dig my nails into my skin when I'm extremely stressed, and I occasionally think about how it would be nice if something happened to me and I died. I just felt like it wasn't enough to be called "depression" and that I'm just experiencing sadness as anyone else would.

However, these past two years have been really hard, and as of late, I can't stop crying. I think I've cried like 10 times or more this month. I cry at night when people are asleep, I cry when I'm driving alone, and I cry at the smallest things when I watch movies. I'm like a damn leaky faucet, tears just keep streaming out of my face. 

I try my best to hide it but my new roommate/old friend has caught me crying several times now. And, after a triggering event over the weekend, I burst out in tears on the car ride home. We talked and he helped me find the courage to seek therapy. I called to set up something today but it all feels so embarrassing. Even answering questions like "do you want to hurt yourself" feels awkward to answer. I'm almost scared that they are gonna reject me and tell me this is normal.

I know there shouldn't be a stigma about seeking mental health but it's more about crying and feeling pathetic in front of people that I really hate. Nonetheless, I feel proud I'm reaching out for whatever this sadness is.  I hope this encourages someone to seek mental health help as well.