And idk what to do lmao, I need him. I rely on him, like... He keeps me stable and sane.

But he said that he can't deal with that pressure of that on his shoulders especially because he's not mentally well right now and I just...

I love him and I'm trying hard not to message him 24/7 but it's HARD it's so HARD. Once I start working, I know it'll be easier but now... I don't know.

Part of me wants to download Tinder or whatever and see if anyone is willing to get hella fucked up with me because I NEED to feel something I can't DEAL with not being with him. Cutting doesn't do it.

He said he can't deal with me constantly messaging me. I don't know what to do.

Also not to mention the fact that I'm so anxious that he might find someone else and then tell me he can't be with me.. He says he loves me but at this point I don't know.

I'm at a void and I do not know what I should do.
