I can’t take it anymore. I think about ending it over and over. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy, I don’t think I’ll ever be in a healthy relationship. I want to wait until my nephew comes to this world, just to meet him but it’s still a month away. The obsessive thoughts are too much for me and I ruined what I had with a really amazing person because I’m mentally ill, and I will always be ill. I’ve tried so hard but the people around me aren’t understanding the gravity of my mental state. I just wanted to be in love and make someone happy, but it was to much and I wasn’t right. I wish I could run away from everything. I wish COVID would have ended it for me. I know I’m gonna hurt some people when I go but I can’t help this anymore. I’m on the waitlist for treatment but I think my time is up.