No matter what I do I just feel miserable. I do well in college, miserable. I become more sociable, miserable. I take some me time, miserable. I work on myself, miserable. No matter what I try I just feel like shit, I honestly don't feel like I'm getting better and the only thought in my mind at this point is to kill myself. D spite that I won't do that because my brain refuses to let me just give up and die and also would feel guilty letting everyone I care about down. I just want to feel happiness, none of this bullshit laughing at a funny video for like 5 seconds or feeling proud of myself after doing something (which I struggle to do anyway(. I want to be content in life, is that too much to ask for?