The “Sad Clown” experience is something I’ve been going through for most of my life. In social circles, I’m ALWAYS the one who makes people laugh, the life of the party and some of my friends even nicknamed me a comedic genius. But the second I take that funny guy act away and I start showing my real feelings, everyone seems to not take me serious and I feel as if my emotions are invalid. I don’t have the opportunity to build up another personality outside of being funny, it’s the only thing I’m really good at. Outside of this funny guy persona, I’m not in the best state of mind and when I am in a good state of mind, the moment I express it, no one seems to care and some may find it annoying. I feel as if people, especially my friend group, are condescending towards me when I’m not trying to be funny and will often try to make me liven up whatever setting we’re in. It’s a tough paradox thats hard to escape. I get being funny can be a gift but it still has consequences big enough that I’m not even grateful for having this “gift”