I feel like the things I want from my FP and the reasons why I want them completely change day to day. Last week I wanted her to be my mother and take care of me like a child, the week before that I wanted to be in a relationship with her or simply wanted her to cheat on her husband for a night with me, this week I just envy her and want the life she lives because I think it’s a worthy life.  I want what she has while also wanting to be a part of what she has. 

How do I deal with my feelings for her when I can’t even decide week to week what I’m actually feeling for her? I’d like for things to just be normal with her but I don’t know how to get to that point.