So basically I’ve been challenging my anxiety lately and haven’t had a panic attack in probably a month which is like incredible for me but I just had one. Last night a guy rang my doorbell at like 8 pm my dad answered and he claimed to be a pest control man and was just giving his card but after that I couldn’t sleep the whole night because I thought the man was going to come back later and murder us. Then tonight at like 9 I heard a sound that sounded faintly like a gunshot and then four more followed it I started freaking out and my dad went outside to look (I know very safe) and it was just fireworks. It’s a random Wednesday there’s no need to shoot fireworks off, I started shaking and I thought I was going to die and I hid in a corner in my room until I calmed down a bit and decided maybe it wasn’t a man who has a gun ready to kill me. I’m also going to California next week which we do a lot because I’m on the west coast but my Ed brain is going crazy thinking that I won’t have a place to budge and I can’t restrict like i normally do and I have to wear a bathing suit possibly and that’s my worst nightmare and I have so many scars and I’ll cover them up especially thigh ones with shorts and I don’t go swimming but there’s just too much going on and I’m so overwhelming and panicking and needed to rant.