I didn't understand how she could go from hot to cold. It made me insecure, which led to me pushing her away. 


I realize now that she couldn't really control the way she acted at times, irrational as it seemed to me. And I should have been much more patient, supportive and understanding. 


I have done a lot of reading and learning recently, and I feel like I'm so much better equipped now than I was when we first started seeing each other. 


She told me that she loved me, but the pain was too much and she couldn't deal with being in a relationship anymore. I didn't understand that's how she really felt and thought she was just being manipulative. 


Anyway, I feel like such a jerk after learning more about BPD. I feel like I caused her so much pain due to my own ignorance. 


She told me recently that she feels really bad about what happened between us and that she regrets it. We've both moved on. She ended up marrying a sugar daddy, who she cares about but I don't see how it could possibly be a healthy relationship. She did it for the money and the security, and I don't really believe she has strong feelings for him based on what she tells me.


I still love this woman. I want to offer to be there as a support for her. I feel like I could truly help her cope with some of the hard emotions of living with BPD.


But she's married and I worry that I'll develop the same romantic feelings we used to share. It's really difficult to suppress those pesky emotions lol. 


I honestly feel like I owe it to her to be there for her as a friend. Everyone else has abandoned or failed her, and I don't want to be like them. 


She doesn't see how great she is. She has dealt with so much shit in her life. It's made her nihilistic and cynical, and I just want to help her smile a little more. 


I don't know what to do. I don't want to end up hurting her again, and I'm worried that if I try to be there for her as a friend that I'll develop feelings again and get detached or depressed since we can't be together. 


I feel like I'm stuck. I feel a responsibility to be there for her. But I know it could result in even more pain for her if I end up being unable to deal with the fact she's moved on. 


Does anyone have any advice? How do I prevent myself from losing myself in her, while being there as a friend? 


I'm thinking maybe an email a week or every few weeks instead of talking/texting? But I worry that will just make her feel neglected - when we were together we were practically inseparable. We would talk all the time and spend our time in each other's company. 


As I type this, I realize it's really my own guilt driving me to want to be in her life. Is this unfair? Should I just get over myself and leave her be