Some days ago I found out my partner uploaded some of our sex videos on the internet without me knowing. We are kinky heads, also my face was not showing on the vids so the content didn't really bother me that much, but the issue was I was made to understand these vids would be private and never agreed to upload them anywhere.

I contacted him about it saying how I was hurt by him lying to me and that it is not how I wish to be treated. He replied asking if we could go over the issue in a couple of days and through a phone call rather than texts (he's now abroad traveling) as he was facing an extremely busy period ahead of him. He said he'd uploaded them as a trial before we would possibly move on to actually uploading porn content, something he's suggested in the past and to what I haven't given a response yet.

However, that was not good enough of an answer for me so I pushed it over the texts in an effort to get some comfort or apology from him, creating more misunderstanding on the way until he called me a baby and said he was fed up with my behavior, which is when I lost it. I told him he didn't care about being told no and that it was childish of him. 

Bam in the next message he broke up with me saying I didn't have any empathy for him at all when he said he was willing to talk about it calmly after his busy days - which is true and I accept responsibility for it. 

But on top of that he threw some assumptions about me based on his experience with his ex, basically saying I was trying to prove myself to get his approval instead of doing things because I wanted to. 
I'm not sure if this narrative applies to me. After the last problem we've had in our relationship I've gone from codependent to emotionally detached (👏🏻) as a way to never have to be called clingy again so if anything, I was being selfish this time. 

Anyway here I am spending NYE bitter and hopeless. Another time I thought I was going normal about a problem and it ended in a spectacular crash. I thought I was defending my boundaries, I ended up reacting and attacking him. For now I suppressed most of my negative emotions telling myself that in actuality I was addicted to sex with him more than in love, however I can't deny the fact that that relationship could have had a good impact on my healing overtime. I feel temporarily incapable of pursuing another relationship, in fact I'm considering spending 2020 single but then again I feel like I'm wasting my youth whenever I don't have a partner for a longer period.

I'm beyond trying to figure out who's in the right and who's in the wrong in this situation. I let him have his narrative which has more to do with him than it does with me. 

Sorry for a pointless rant, I just find the situation too bizarre to tell any of my friends but I needed to share it and possibly get others' take on it. 

Does any of you know any alternatives for letting all your anger out and fucking up your relationship when you're triggered like I was? How do I stay in balance between not having my boundaries stepped over and taking it too far with another person when I feel they've been crossed?