I’ve had maybe 2 or 3 partners tell me that I talk about my exes too much. I don’t do so in a particularly negative or positive way, just in passing. Example: driving with current partner past a house where I used to live with my ex and being like “Oh that’s where I used to live with my ex,” or something like that. 

Today I mentioned to the woman I’m talking to that my boss and coworker were teasing me about a guy I went on one date with and she responded that I talk too much about my exes. But like, my experiences with my exes are a part of who I am. I would quite literally not be the person I am today without my exes. I have no romantic connection to any of my exes any more, but I would never have learned I was queer, what I like and don’t like in a partner, how to be a good communicator, etc. without my exes. I feel like, especially because I tend to root my identity in my relationships with other people, acknowledging my experiences with my exes is really important to me. 

Just curious if anyone else gets this critique and feels similarly, or if I just talk about my exes to an extraordinary degree. Either way, the woman I’m talking to isn’t comfortable with it, so I’m not going to continue to talk about my exes with her, but I just wanted to see if anyone else could relate!