I have severe social anxiety , I'm from a country where it's considered a shame to say you have a mental disorder so I can't talk about it with anyone ...
At college I'm an outcast due to my awkwardness so I always stay alone , walk alone , eat alone ...alone...
I have no friends I don't even know the meaning of that word "friends" and I'm living alone , I just noticed that it's been days since I last spoke to anyone and I'm feeling this void inside my chest it's suffocating I never thought loneliness could be this painful , sometimes I wonder if ever something happens to me some sort of emergency , if ever I got sick and needed someone by my side to help to at least take me to a doctor who would I call ? I have no one ... Would I just die alone ? ... 
It's too painful when I see people having friends , laughing living their life to the fullest ... While me there's no one to even say hello to me and the fact that just a simple hello with a smile from someone in the morning can make me happy for an entire week...
There is a wall between me and society a wall called social anxiety and it grows larger day by day , and as such decrease the probability to break it , seeking help in my country is close to impossible ... So I'm afraid I'm afraid if this continuous what would happen I feel like I will lose my mind any minute now , I'm afraid of falling in large hole of depression , I'm afraid of the future of my future ...