So for me, splitting is when my brain will completely switch and flip on a person, loved ones, idea, interest or anything else. i'm gonna focus on people for the purpose of this.

I'm trying to categorise different degrees of splitting and how fears of abandonment link into them. if this is not bpd, then i guess i don't have bpd lol

The first degree is Long Splitting. this is when I will ultimately decide that someone is completely evil and do everything in my power to get rid of them. often this one seems like a rational thought and process, until i look back and miss them and realise they were actually good, but i am still convinced they are evil. oddly, i do not care if these people leave, and no longer fear their abandonment. 

The second degree is Fade Splitting. this is the most painful one, as i love this person a lot, but i feel them leaving so slowly detatch myself from them. it''s a long process and often how friendships die, as i just detatch and "let them go". 

The third degree is Active Splitting. this is probably the one that causes the most regret as it involves really intense anger. i will tell people to kill themselves, ruin people's property and harass them online. also will verbally abuse. it's a really strong, short split which results in me feeling rlly bad after. unless i am still splitting on them, where i struggle to have empathy sometimes. 

The fourth degree is Backstabbing Splitting, this is probably the quietest form of splitting, as i am not active in my hate and dislike of this person, but i just no longer like them for some reason. this normally lasts until i see good in them again, this is more of a distrust if anything, not sure how this ties into abandonment. this might be a normal human thing but it's more than distasting, i actively want them to die. i think it actually stems from a feeling of already been abandoned. 

The fifth degree I call Temporary Splitting, is when I decide that they are evil, they hate me, i hate them, i need to remove them from my life and they are going to leave so i need to beat them to it, but i quickly snap out of it if they respond to a text message or something. sometimes this will result in me temporarily blocking someone, muting them, deleting a conversation or erasing photos or deleting an account or something. 

The sixth degree I call Flash Splitting. This happens hundreds of times a day with loads of different people, and i'll flash into "they should die", "they are perfect" in a matter of seconds. i don't act on this. as it's so quick and so extreme, but doesn't really evoke a reaction. not sure how this links to abandonment