I've been at this job for just under two months and today I had to call out because I feel too depressed to function. I didn't tell them that, obviously, but I'm tired of making up some bullshit excuse every time I need to take a day for myself. I just wish that there wasn't such a stigma around mental health and people would understand that sometimes we just have bad days. I know that the stigma is slowly going away but I still don't feel comfortable telling an employer, especially one that I haven't known for very long, that I cant come in because of how depressed I am. And to be completely honest, I don't even want my employer and coworkers to know that I struggle with my mental health. I don't want them to think of me less or look at me differently, or think that I'm some kind of risk to employ or work with.

I've pretty much come to accept that I'm bipolar and I have to deal with feeling this way (off and on) for the rest of my life, but it's incredibly frustrating that there are people out there who don't and won't ever understand what we have to go through. Yes, I take my meds consistently and see my psychiatrist every other month but there is still no accounting for the bad days that happen every now and then. I should probably get back into therapy but with my work schedule, I'm not even sure when I would be able to go meet with someone, and I don't want to have to miss work for it.

I'm sorry for the rant but I feel pretty bad that I had to call out of work today and just needed to vent a bit. For anyone out there who's also struggling, just know that you're not alone. Bad days happen but what really matters is getting through it and back to the good/better days.