I am a 26F and have recently been diagnosed with BPD (although I've suspected and displayed symptoms since I was about 8).  Repeatedly throughout my life, I have struggled with the "constant emptiness" that is characteristic of the disorder.  The only way I knew to try to fill that emptiness was to reach out to my friends and loved ones, but because my need for affection/attention was so constant, I often got labeled as clingy, needy, too much.  I've been told many times that I need to "learn to be alone" rather than seeking assurance from other people, and though I have come a long way in validating myself, I do still crave confirmation from others that I am loved by someone besides just myself.  

I've lived alone for 6 years, been single almost all of my life (I've had one SO that lasted about a month before I broke it off), and have been trying very very hard to deal with things myself rather than lean on those around me.  I've gotten to the point where one of my biggest fears is leaning on people too much and ending up pushing them away because of it.  In light of all that, this advice has started to seem more and more like a slap in the face.  I'm doing the best I can to cope with something that feels overwhelming, and I'm not sure how much more alone they want me to learn to be.  Has anyone else faced this frustration from people who don't understand the emptiness that BPD sufferers deal with on the daily?  Do you have anything that helps you cope?

TL;DR: I work very hard to keep from being needy, but still get discouraging feedback that makes me feel I'm not doing enough.