i know factually i'm a human being, but i don't feel like one. i was born into a homeschooling family so i never really had a world outside of my own house to begin with. i watch the outside world go by outside my window and i know there's no place for me there.

everyone seems to have a passion or a goal. everyone seems to have something they enjoy doing, hell everyone seems to have the ability to even enjoy doing anything. i don't have anything. i'm gray. i'm a blank slate. i have no dream job. i don't know if i want to start my own family. i don't know where i want to live, if at all.

i don't have any likable personality traits. i'm not pretty. i'm not smart. i'm not kind. i'm not anything you need to even partially succeed in life. i'm just me, and "me" is nothing.

how am i going to make it the rest of my life? the short time i've been alive has been unbearably boring and lonely. how can some people be happy here?