I should just consider myself lucky that I don’t feel this way all the time. 

Why can’t I just stay happy? 

People always tell me that I “should” be happy. I have a job, I have a car, I have a house, I have a future (if I don’t decide to just fucking kill myself) but I’m not happy

I’m such a selfish piece of shit. I’ve gotten life on easy mode and I still wish I was fucking dead. I’m not worthy of any of this that I’ve been blessed with. 

No one seems to care or understand. I can be pleasant enough on the outside. I just don’t want people to know how much I’m dying on the inside. I don’t want to be a fucking burden, I just wish this would all go away 

I just lay here and have to cry myself to sleep all alone night after night and I’m sick of this stupid cycle. I want it all to end, just end already. 

Whether that be through some sort of medication to my brain, or a bullet to my brain, I just want this to stop