I'm sorry if this formats weird, i'm on mobile.
I am 17 and i have struggled with mental health since childhood (anxiety, OCD). I started researching psychology a few years back when my mental health issues started impairing my functioning. I've been to various mental health professionals and i have often been labeled as "hypersensitive".
I was always aware i need to be 18 to get a BPD diagnosis and that a lot of the symptoms are just symptoms of growing up. What really sparked my suspicion was the way i feel and behave in my current relationship, which is not my first but is my first serious one. I have done a lot of self reflection and i made the mistake of going to Google for advice. I was reintroduced to the term BPD fairly quickly and i could very much relate. I started browsing this subreddit, usually when I'm in a panicked state when i feel like i'm crazy, and i could relate to almost every single post here. I've done research, read research papers, watched many videos from professionals ect. and I can heavily relate. I'm strictly against self diagnosing, but the need to understand myself quicly took a hold of me and I started subconsciously identifying with this illness. Now i feel as though im faking it, and as though im lying to my therapist about my symptoms just so they could fit being BPD. I don't do this on purpose but i do phrase a lot of my issues in a way i've observed people with BPD do and i feel very guilty and like a liar. I told my therapist that i suspect a PD but she said diagnosis is not important. My current psychiatrist hasn't diagnosed me with anything, she's against diagnosing and giving medication to minors.
What can i do about this?