I have a theory that my extensive previous drug use primarily with entheogen’s, psychedelics, disassociates, and deliriants has caused damage to serotonin receptors or at least serotonin intake.
Here’s my history with mental illness:
•I was diagnosed with bipolar manic depression when I was 13-15 but the accuracy of the diagnosis was unclear 
•I’ve been hospitalized 3 times for drug-induced psychosis
•I have ADD

Here’s some of the things that I’ve been experiencing recently..

•insomnia: I’ve had since childhood but has only gotten worse.
•anxiety: mostly social, but sometimes my thoughts get so dark and consuming it causes a panic.
•internal monologue/dialogue: not the normal kind, the kind where it makes it hard to focus on work or even simple task. I have this weird thing I do with my hands that’s almost like “eeny meeny miny moe” where I’ll use it to get answers for questions I have like “does she love me?” And if the answer falls on the left hand it’s true and if it’s the right it’s false (I know it’s weird) 
•suspicion of others intentions: like thinking they may be able to read my mind to a degree(which I’m able to rationalize as untrue) or having trust issues like thinking my gf is constantly cheating on me.
•mood swings: from being very energetic and polite, to very bitter and confident in an aggressive way, like “I could kick anyone’s ass” or feeling like I’m just the craziest, toughest person there is and that I would win every fight because I’m not scared of the outcome good or bad.
•irritability: going from being in a good, positive mood to being extremely aggressive and pissed off/agitated by the littlest things(the agitation can last up to an hour) like my girlfriend being a little loud when she’s talking or someone saying something smart ass.. by the end of the day I feel so easily agitated that I become sensitive to noise and feel like my heads going to pop.
•Disassociation: this happens when I let my thoughts spiral out of control.. it’s a very strange feeling as if I’m real but living in a fake world. Like I start analyzing people and their behavior and question “why are they like that” and it all feels unreal and just very strange.
Suicidal ideation: no self harm or attempts just dark thoughts of how I would do it 

And there’s more than that, sorry to vent but I really just want to know if anyone has an idea of what might be happening.. I just feel so disconnected a lot of the time and don’t know what it is :/