Ive been diagnosed with MDD since I was 16. I’m now 22. It has progressed through the years kind of like a disease I guess. Most people around me say “ we all get depressed we still have to work and push through it” 

No. There’s no pushing through this. My energy levels are slim to non existent. My body aches 99.9% of the time. I have insomnia while also having hypersomnia. I’m always exhausted. Always. For gods sake I’ve pissed on myself because I couldn’t drag myself to the bathroom. Ive laid around so much that once I finally stood up I broke my foot. It just snapped. 

This doesn’t feel like the depression everyone around me describes having. I’m so torn up. This is CONSTANT. This is every single day of my life for the last three years. At first it would come and go , but now it’s all the time. Why doesn’t it go away? Is it really this bad? Sometimes I wonder if it even is depression I have and maybe I have some sort of disease or physical illness instead. 

There’s no “ pushing through it “ for me. I can’t. I physically can’t do it. I can’t drive, never learned, never could. I’ve never had a job because my sleep is so awful i will just pass out randomly and why the hell not I can’t ever get out of bed anyways. 


I’m lonely. But I can’t text anyone back. It’s gotten to the point texting feels heavy. Everything feels heavy and I feel so weak. I never thought this would be my entire life. I never thought it was constant. 

If anyone else struggles the way I do, please tell me. I need to know it’s not just me. Maybe the people around me are just unsupportive or Uninformed on MDD. Everyone around me acts like I’m just lazy and out of shape. I’m not. I hate living like this.