i'm so scared about my relationship all the time. i'm constantly worrying that someone else is going to make my boyfriend happier than i ever could and leave. i'm so scared that he's going to lose interest in me. i can't have him leave. we live together. we each pay half of all our bills. he's my only friend... the only person i think and care about... the only person i worry about...
i'm scared he's going to leave me because i burst out into emotional breakdowns and start breaking things and hurting myself. i hate myself. every time. i don't know why i do this. i just want to be normal. i just made him late to work because he stayed until i calmed down. i can't live like this... i don't know how to help myself anymore... it feels like everything is falling apart... i don't even feel like it's worth living through sometimes...