I FINALLY FUCKING HAD A PERSON WHO TOLD ME THEY LOVED ME AND ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT ME AND THEY DONT WANT TO HANGOUT WITH ME AND I KEPT ASKING BEFORE HE SAID THAT AND I FUCKING KNOW I PUSHED HIM AWAY I FUCKING HATE THIS I HATE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE WHAT DID I DO!!!???? IM JUST TRYING TO TAKE THINGS SLOW AND TRY NOT TO BE FUCKING INSANE AND I BLEW IT!!! I CANT BELIEVE THIS!! I ALWAYS DO THIS I JUST WANT A PERSON THAT CARES ABOUT ME FOR ONCE IN MY FUCKING LIFE I CANT BELIEVE I FUCKED THIS UP IT WAS GOING SO WELL I CANT BREATHE I FEEL SO SMALL WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY WHAT DO I DO !? I NEED HIM I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITHOUT HIM I CANT TAKE CARE OF MYSELF I NEED HIM PLEASE PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ILL DO ANYTHING