I (24f black) went to see a friend( from HS) with her family. Instead of conversation going well. I was looking at the table and I played with the ice 🧊 when they talked to me. Then I would pause mid sentence when talking. Sure they were happy to see me but I left being disappointed in myself. I hate being with people because I'm afraid of people. 
I can't make friends or relationships. I went there out of obligation not because I wanted to. I knew it would make her happy. I've been this way for 3 years. No improvements.