I broke up with my ex partner 7 months ago. I can’t stop thinking about her. She lied to me and manipulated me. I have been in therapy, and I handled it a lot better then I would have in the past. But I still cried a lot and felt like I could not trust her anymore. I had very openly talked about my borderline and that in a relationship being lied to triggers me more then it would a ~normal~ person. Anyway long story short it just couldn’t work because I felt no trust and I was being manipulated to feel like every feeling I had was just me being borderline. Despite being told things like “you’d be perfect if you just lost 5 kilos” “no one else will ever love you if you leave” “I just lied about deleting that girl cause I wanted you to feel more secure but I can stop messaging her if you want. I did sleep with her like 2 weeks ago tho”  etc etc etc. it just wasn’t a good relationship and I’ve fought hard to know when my feelings are real based on what’s happening and when my feelings are created from within myself. I never exploded, I just cried a lot toward the end and then left. But everything I ever felt was dismissed. But now I’m obsessed with her ( I have her blocked on everything) it’s just thought obsession and I can’t stop thinking about her and feel like I want her back then I remember how mean she was so I stop myself unblocking and sending a long ass message. But I feel so stuck. I loved her for many, many years and she was the last person who I ever thought would treat me like shit. Any advice on how to stop ruminating and not die on this hill?