GF is smothering and keeps visiting me from out of town and I appreciate the visits but they are like every other week and she also claims I am distant when I simply just want to set boundaries and gets so upset when I try to give hard nos. She claims its me "putting up walls." She's also way more smotheringly affectionate since we began dating and claims its due to just...how she IS in relationships. Like...i didnt want to start dating this new person. And I have other partners who I need to make time for too!!

Longest term relationship is growing more distant by the day. He started a demanding new job, but also just...barely makes time for me. By the time I get to call him at night, he's so tired he's incoherent. 
 
Tertiary level boyfriends dont deserve me being so scattered and they're also very busy people. 

I dont know what to do. It just feels like I'm the toxic one because I am overwhelmed with one partner, neglected by another, and I just can't...breathe!!! Either way!!! I feel like im this drain for them and I just need to cut everyone off. EVERYONE. Hell not just my polycule, EVERYONE. Im toxic for EVERYONE