New here and…I just need to talk about some stuff..

Back in summer I got into a car accident and ever since it…I have been feeling…worse..there are times I wish I would have died in it..

I’m 21 (almost 22) and I have nothing going..work as a janitor with a business that says we don’t deserve what they pay us already..can’t move out on my own yet due to Covid happening when I was just starting to get a full time job and not being at top pay which is around $20 as of now and parents who think it’s possible to…live with $20 an hr In a terrible high inflation state… 

I don’t do anything…anymore…I used to like to play video games…or at the very least watch new TV shows…something but i don’t even like to do that anymore… I wanted to get into Reading again but again…I can’t get myself to pick up anything…I just want to relax after working all day to go to sleep and repeat the same process over and over till…something happens.

I have often thought about suicide just…now it comes up more and more often…I feel hopeless…I feel tired…I feel…just done with everything..

I wish I could just shrug it off…be a man like…everyone says to…

I don’t like to confess this but there have been two times since the car accident that I have felt so bad I’d felt like crying in my bed at night till I eventually fall asleep….

I just…needed to get what’s on my mind out there to someone…