This is also a vent post but I felt the CW was more important a tag.

Anyway. I'm not a feminist or even an anti-feminist by any means, but I often look through posts from those pages. Something I've been increasingly seeing lately is anti-feminist people using BPD as a way of insulting women in general, by saying all women have BPD and are awful human beings because of it. 

I find this really upsetting because not only does it minimise a very real suffering that people with disorders like BPD have, but it also suggests we're undeserving of positive things like love and, as I said, that we're horrible.

I'm not going to lie that I can be absolutely awful. I get paranoid, I start crying, and when that fear of abandonment and my past really grips me I can be very abusive. It's a really shameful aspect of my life and I'm working so hard to get better without the professional help I most likely need (I don't trust therapists. The last one tried to pass off my issues as "Personality Traits" and just told me to sleep better, and none of my other experiences have been much better). I'm really trying my best to be a good person, especially a good girlfriend, which I often end up being triggered about as well because of the insistence that women are good for nothing and stuff that some of them have.

I don't know where I'm going with this now. It just really hurts and sometimes makes me wonder if the online friends I have made who are anti-feminist would hate me if they found out I've got BPD.