I’m so lost. I’m so confused. I can’t believe I drove another romantic interests away! She’s gone forever! My god, why did this had to happen?! I hate myself. I’m such an idiot. I kept my bpd away from her so this wouldn’t happen. We drank together a little, I slipped up, and she caught on that my depression was actually bpd. I was scared to tell her that I have bpd. Now she’s accusing me of lying, and has now blocked me off of every social media and my phone number. Fuck!!! 

What sucks even more is that she’s in a committee that I chair. I asked her to leave but I think that was manipulative on my part because I told her I was looking after my mental health. Fuck. I’m such an idiot!!!!  I want her back!!! 