First of all I need to say that I am not suicidal and you dont need to worry about that kind of things.

So, I was watching some porn and masturbating when I had this feeling that I really need to feel some pain. I found myself thinking where I could do the cuts without my husband noticing. Last minute I stopped, already had knife on my hand.

I dont have history of cutting myself. My anxiety went pretty bad last year and I managed to get help in december. 

Not sure what I wanted with this post, I think I just startled the situation.