First post and I’m completely freaking out. 
My pcp is fatphobic so I get no help there. 
Autoimmune disorders keep me from changing my psych meds. 
My therapist just talks about sciencey things with me because she thinks I’m smart. 
I can’t get out of bed anymore. 
I’m scared of the future and what might happen with all this covid-19 stuff. 
I’ve never really had a plan for my life, because I never expected to survive 25. Now I’m 31 and terrified. 
I long for the coping mechanisms of old, before diagnosis and therapy. 
I want the euphoria that came with all those bad habits. 
I want freedom. 
I’m tired of feeling broken. 
I’m just tired.