Stupid stupid of me. All the hard work to try and get over him and think straight and at least move forward a little.
A week ago I drunk a bottle of wine in a short period of time and plucked up the nerve to send him a birthday card. Why I do dis. He doesn't deserve me to think of him even let alone a kind gesture. All those heartfelt words he says nothing about. All that pouring of my soul for more heartbreak. 
Now I'm an emotional wreck again but I have no wine, I have no smokes. I just have all my time alone and flu and a cupboard full of razors whispering my name, taunting me. 

TLDR was at least making some progress but ex text me and now I'm spiralling into emotional wreck and bad coping mechanisms 
