Once again had a meltdown that started from just being anxious and stresses and having no one to talk to about it. For some background I just started a second job, and am now working 12-14 hours 5-6 days a week. This change has taken a toll on me. I live with my boyfriend, but he is so bad at listening to how i feel because he just wants to fix the problems when I know he cant do that. Trying to express how I felt led to a spiral and we got in yet another fight. In my head i had been creating this plot where he was happy i was working all day every day so he didnt have to be around me and my negativity when he got home. Obviously that wasnt the case but as soon as i had the idea, of course I ran with it. I lashed out at him and his friend who already doesnt like me because of the issues i create. I felt like they were mocking me and making fun of me when really they just wanted the situation to stop so we could enjoy a weekend. Ive been alone the whole weekend because of this, just beating myself up, punishing myself because of the immense guilt i feel. Seems ill never be able to forgive myself for this shit. I know if i cant get it in check my boyfriend has no business staying with me, and im so tired of constantly hurting people because i dont know how to channel my emotions. it seems like everyone wants to get him away from me and i just feel so bad.