I'm not sure how to explain it, but I also can't really explain my lack of motivation to be more than I am too. I think it goes back to never feeling accomplished or receiving the typical chemical reward that others get when they work really hard. For me, I just feel nothing. I've passed really hard classes, I've tried out for and made teams, I've gone after jobs outside of my experience levels, landed them and done well, and have even gotten my life together emotionally through therapy. Those are just a few common examples of stuff others may have accomplished that drove them to do even more. I feel literally nothing at all. Go to the gym and workout, nothing. Eat great for a week, nothing. Lose 10lbs, nothing. Claw my way out of a life blow up, land a new job, get another place, get bills caught up, go to therapy... Nothing. Anyone else in the same boat? It just smacked me in the face the other day. Why work really hard when your reward system is fucked and you get none of the intangible rewards other humans get?