Basically, when I see a knife I think about what would happen if I would just stab myself right now. It’s not even about killing myself, it’s more about just seeing what would happen I guess. These things also happen when I’m with my family. If we are walking next to the road, a random thought will just jump into my head like “What if I would push the person next to me into the traffic?”.

I’m able to control myself, but I’m not sure how that will work when the years pass.

I’m turning 15 soon, and I think I have anxiety and/or depression, but I haven’t been diagnosed since I don’t want to talk with anyone about it.

The only medication I am on are puberty blockers (transgender, FtM).

I am kind of just hoping that someone has some advice to dealing with these things.