I feel like I’m burdening my family with my mental illness/es. I have to have them help me out of a bad car deal tomorrow and feel like shit for it. I have to have my mom with me because I don’t think I’m fully stable yet and maybe a little manic yet so I don’t want to mess things up. I feel like an idiot that I can’t always control myself and I’m so fucking angry with myself. I go through phases in my relationship where I adore my girlfriend and I still do but it feels so off. I’m also not into sex hardly at all currently. It switches on and off a lot, and I feel awful for it. Right now I’m so restless that I want to go drive my car I need to give back and go fast, but I can’t do that. I know I can’t. God, why is all of this so hard?