I just experienced the loss of my precious kitty, Sweetie. I have never felt that much pain in my entire life. I know my car accident a couple years ago triggered my first manic episode (hypomanic since I’m bipolar2). That’s how I realized something was not right at all. My mood has been stable for over a year. I hope this is just normal grief and my moods will go back to before. It’s hard to tell if it’s my mental illness or just normal life events. So what’s happening now is I am filled with irritability and feeling unsettled. I don’t know why but my anger is a lot worse and I don’t want to be mean to anyone. I feel shame about how terrible I am with my money and then my mind goes into a spiral of anger or sadness. Everything around me is too loud. It’s like most of the time I’m dealing with stimulation overload. Thank god for my noise canceling AirPods. I am high functioning bipolar, adhd, and a sober alcoholic. Not interested in relapsing don’t worry. But fuck. I have a full time job as an RN, awesome friends, amazing family and full time school. i don’t want my mental Illness to worsen and disrupt my life. It will always pop up but I don’t want it to progress into not being able to function. Thanks for listening. I’m exhausted.