Does anyone else live with this idea that you shouldnt be in relationships because you feel like you are going to reduce the quality of life of anyone that loves you in that way? I've basically steered clear of initiating anything with anyone out of these feelings of shame. I feel overly complex but not in a good way, and even though i have friends who will tell me im solid a relationship is way different, and i feel like i start leaning into psychosis when im in love with someone. Im not scared of people leaving as much as im scared of other people having to put up with me. My inconsistencies drive me insane despite all the effort put in to fix them and they for sure will drive others crazy. But at the same time abstaining makes me feel subhuman. Im 25 and this internal battle is beyond exhausting, in my head i have to build myself up a lot in every area of my life to be deserving of a relationship and ive been crumbling for years