I was in a relationship with someone who suffered from depression, had suicidal thoughts and at last cut me off completely while I was still around as a friend to support them. He found someone new and I feel like I lost myself. Everyone sees me as this funny and bubbly and confident person, he said I will be fine, everyone assumes that. I am gifted, I was always very good at singing and a throughout creative person, I have a good life, I don’t even want to complain about it. It’s just, everyone tells me about their dark sides, about their problems. But what about mine? Lately I have been feeling lost, I don’t even know if I am really depressed, normally I would wave it off and tell myself I will somehow get through it. I just my person, someone who would cheer me up and just listen to me and take me seriously. Someone who sees that I am not okay. I come from a family where it’s always been „Just suck it up and get going.“ 

And nobody can quite relate how it feels when your boyfriend tells you that he wants to die. I tried to be strong for him, every day. And I am exhausted and now I feel like being all alone. 

I guess this is kind of a rant. I just feel like everyone has a purpose and goes on with life and I feel lost and alone.