ever since i was young, i had anxiety. it wasn’t life controlling, in fact i thought everyone felt the same way as me. but now, my anxiety has been going downhill terribly, ever since february, i believe. i keep worrying that people care about the way i dress, and i’ll end up spending 30 minutes to try and find something to wear (not for me, for other people). i worry that i might say/do the wrong thing and people will want to jump me, expose me, arrest me or kill me, and i have no idea why i feel this way. i see other people look so calm under pressure, but i feel like sometimes i can’t even stand if i feel the slightest bit of pressure. every single day i wake up and i feel anxious about something new, and all of my fears just build up to make one big panic attack. i have panic attacks frequently, but i always have one way worse than the others every couple of weeks or so. i just wish i knew what it was like to not have bad anxiety. i used to be on medication for it, but i stopped because not only could i not feel anxious on them, i couldn’t feel happy, humourous, or even sad. it was a numb feeling. but i’d love to start taking it again. the only problem is that i can’t really get any prescribed to me at the moment because covid is really bad in my area.