Want to know what's pitiful?

My alcoholic father is just sitting in the living room in complete darkness and complete silence.

He's been sitting like that for over 2 hours. God, he's pathetic.

Sometimes I wish he would just die already. Nobody loves him anyway. He's just a failure of a human being, and he will be nothing but shitty memories, in my mind. He doesn't deserve to be here.

Every time I look at his stupid, ugly drunk face, I see an embarrassment. Someone who constantly tatters my life with the reality that my father is a pathetic drunk loser.

I see him, and I instantly view myself as a failure. I'm the son of a drunk. Who would want to be associated with that? He fuels my depression and negative emotions. He ruined my chances of a normal childhood, and a normal life in general. In this town, I'll be known as the drunk's kid. He deserves not to be here.