Me and my FP had dated briefly back from November to January and during that time I got deeply attached to him (that's when he became my FP). I had never connected with anyone the way I did with him and when he broke up with me I was really hurt but kind of understood because he had just gotten out of a long term relationship before dating me and he said he couldn't be in a relationship now but that he still wanted to be friends. But being as attached to him as I was/am I would still get upset at him and angry if he wouldn't talk to me. We had a few talks and he had told me he wouldn't ghost me back in February but I still had trouble believing that but we would usually communicate and get through issues that I was having but about a month ago we had a talk and he was saying how he didn't want to mess with my feelings and that he still wanted to be friends and I should have told him how important he was to me because he asked if I wanted to say anything else to him but I feel stupid for not saying more. 
The next day I sent him a link to a video but he didn't respond which I tried not to get too upset about because sometimes he won't respond to just a video link. A few days later I texted him just saying hey but he didn't respond. I ended up driving around to see where he was and I drove past his friend's house and I think he might have seen me. He hasn't talked to me since then and now I just feel really stupid and embarrassed for driving by his friend's house and for all the dumb things I did and said to him since we had started dating. It took me a while to realize that that's what had freaked him out and I just want to talk to him and apologise for everything and I've just been stressed out ever since, hoping he'll talk to me or I'll run into him and be able to explain. I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm going crazy and I've been really suicidal lately and mostly keep drinking the days away. I just really want to talk to him and see what he's thinking, especially after what he had said to me about caring about my feelings and wanting to be friends. I'm just afraid that maybe that was the last straw for him and that he thinks I'm past the point of reason or that I might hurt him but I just want to apologise to him. I asked him if we could talk a few weeks ago but he never responded which is what led me to think he blocked me because he usually would reply to a message like that so we could talk things out.
Also, I'm not actually diagnosed with BPD but I really relate to the community on this subreddit and the symptoms of the disorder and thought this would be a good place to post. Thanks for reading if you got this far.

TL;DR: I drove past my FP's friend's house and I think he saw me and got scared. I just want to apologise to him, but I think he blocked me.