 

I'm stuck in the cycle at the moment of trying to feel better, then the thoughts take over and bring me crashing straight back down to feeling awful.

I have bad health anxiety, to the point, it's often debilitating. I have been going through a range of tests over the past 4 months, convinced somethings wrong. I've had about 10 lots of blood tests, a brain MRI, a kidney and bladder ultrasound. The works. My anxiety can manifest physical pains on my body. Pretty much anywhere. Back, hips legs head shoulder etc. I saw a nephrologist on Monday about a low kidney function blood test. He told me it was a false reading and from the results he has, everything is normal. However, he did mention he hadn't seen a result of my urine tests yet that looked for blood. He, and other health care specialists, have told me i need to stop having so many blood tests because there will always be something that pops up slightly abnormal and it creates more anxiety, but isn't an issue. Literally 2 minutes after i walk out of the clinic, i get a text from my gp saying my test had traces of blood and that I need to return the next day to do another. I couldn't eat or sleep that night. I nearly passed out int he middle of London through fear. I go to the gp the next morning, repeat the test where they dip the stick in the urine. The nurse said it looks negative to her and even showed me the colour against the chart. She marked it as negative but it was sent away for further testing anyway. Now as you can probably already have guessed, i went straight to google for this microscopic blood in the urine. Obviously, some say it can be absolutely nothing, some say it can be the worst.

So now i'm in that cycle of where you feel so down, you can't actually tell if you're sick or not. The moment you have a period of feeling "normal" without realising, your brain picks up on it and it's almost as if it tells you "you're feeling normal, we cant have that. Remember x?" and then you're straight back.

Are there any tips anyone can provide for breaking that mindset cycle?