I always get (inwardly) upset when my bf goes out with his friends. Idk if its jealousy or not. I don’t have any of my own friends to go out with, i have one friend that i enjoy spending time with but she doesn’t have the money to spend a night out and even when we do see each other we spend a lot of time just enjoying each other’s company, like sitting on our phones or watching a movie but i really want to just mess around and make jokes and be part of a group. I never got to in secondary school or college. my bf always seems to have so much fun with his friends. he calls them on discord often and they play games and just have a laugh. i wish i could do that so bad. when he’s out i really want to go with him and have fun and meet his friends but im so socially awkward and i dont want to make a bad impression, especially as he prefers to keep our relationship separate to most of the rest of his life. It totally cool and i understand and id never stop him going out or anything i always tell him to enjoy his evening with his friends or to have fun and stuff. I never want him to feel like he has to ditch his friends for me bc my partner before actually forced me to cut off all of my (few) friends very early on bc he was so jealous and i was naive enough and obsessed enough to do it even though i knew it was wrong.  i never want to be like that. i think i just really miss having friends that i could just fuck around with and when my bf gets to go out and have fun like that it hurts me a little. not because of him, just because of me. what can i do?