Some people in my life think it's cool and quirky to see reality differently. No, it's scary and confusing and I feel shame. I have done things I regret very much. I have had to text crisis lines with tears streaming down my face. I have to take medications that I'm scared to take. I cant even bring myself to do what I need to do sometimes.

I have been nonverbal before and it's not good. I just stop being able to say what I need to say. I have had moments where I cannot move because of fear. I have had moments where I cant comprehend what is going on around me. I have moments where every conversation is just words being said around me.

I have had moments where I just dont care about certain things and I pee myself. I have had moments where I poop myself too. It's because I get so preoccupied with other stuff.

I constantly feel like I'm a burden for my family even though they say that I'm not. I feel embarrassed to be so dependent on them. I will probably never live on my own. I have a diagnosis of Schizophrenia. I'm not depressed currently. I'm just so overwhelmed by my symptoms currently. And I saw some stuff online that made me feel weird, people glamorizing mental illness and I have friends who think it's cool.