Hello, i wanted to ask  what my problem could be. Im too shy to talk to a doc about this problem, thats why i am asking here.
Pls take this serious.
First off all, i have a quite strong personality and im above the average intellectual level.
But my problem is, i have urge to get manipulated and controlled by the person im in love with. Its hard to imagine, but i really want to be under fully control. I also want to be manipulated in a way that my „lover“ benefits from me. Dont get me wrong, im not someone who likes that his girl cheated on him, i still want the person that i love to love me too, you can imagine her more like a queen. I want her to get me to worship her in a manipulative way. I heared people like this have a Machiavellian personality type, but im not quite sure. I also like if the person i love rules over other persons and benefits from them. And please dont think that im one of this persons who is a completely loser. Im actually pretty normal. I just somehow like having a person „above“ me. I dont even know if thats a mental illness lmao, i just think this is quite weird and not normal. Maybe it is normal and i can calm down. 
In the end, i wanted to thank everyone whos tryna help me.