I will download dating apps and then delete them an hour later. Then I will redownload them again, and it will be a loop. When I meet a guy, I tell myself that he will get bored or isn't interested, and end up ghosting him. This constant back and forth has been going on for a long time, and I am exhausted. But my mind just can't help but change every few hours. One day I want a relationship, next, I don't.