I just really wanted to share what’s been going through my head recently. I haven’t mentioned it to anyone as I wouldn’t want them to worry, I know I should probably tell my therapist though.

I’ve recently been having very extreme graphic dreams/nightmares and constant intrusive thoughts of being extremely violent and hurting or killing my self and others. 

I do often self harm and feel the need to either hit my head or punch myself to dull down the intrusive thoughts, but it feels as though they are there all the time.

Just to clarify, I have had a lot of suicidal thoughts and ideation for years but I don’t actually want to hurt anyone. Although sometimes I worry that if I was to ever snap that I could do something that I don’t want to and act out my intrusive thoughts. It’s making me doubt myself.

I just wanted to know if anyone has any similar experiences or any advice? Or perhaps even just some words of support. Thank you &lt;3

Oh and just for extra info, I have never been diagnosed with anything officially but I’ve had (self-diagnosed) bulimia for 7 years, and have also struggled a lot with self harm and feeling anxious, depressed and suicidal. But I have not previously been diagnosed with any other mental health condition/disorder.