I've suffered from anxiety, OCD and now recently depression for a long time. I've always been scared about not existing (I can't even say the 'd' word b/c of my OCD). Last night, I felt something super weird and scary though. I was just watching a TV show, and randomly thought about something, and then from there, my thoughts went to the 'd word' again, and I felt a super scary, dreary feeling wash over me. It felt so real and like I was imagining it so clearly. I'm so anxious about it, and I started to cry a lot afterwards. I still can't explain the feeling, and despite feeling anxious for a long time, I don't remember feeling that feeling before.

I do get that "impending doom" feeling ocassionally, but that's during a panic attack. Last night, I wasn't too anxious when I got this feeling. Also, the impending doom feeling I get normally is like in the moment thing - like something will happen in that moment. The feeling I got last night wasn't doom for in the moment -- it felt like it was for the future. That's part of the reason why I can't get it out of my head and keep fixating on. I am terrified to do anything and am just soo anxious. :(