About to get married in october . I am just tired of my life . Got cheated on by my first girlfriend in college which set me back huge time . Learned to walk out of it after 3 years . Took my time and met a girl who told me she likes me we talk to a year before getting in a relation . 6 months in I get cheated on again . This broke my heart way more than the first one because I took my time and gave a lot in this relationship . Decided to never ever go in a relationship with a girl ever . My parents are physically disabeld . I set up my own business which is pretty successfull . So parents find an arrange marraige girl for me we do a background check everything is fine I like the girl we met few times . Got engaged . After engagement found out she was cheating on me . This breaks my trust heavily . (Coming from a place in India where divorce is not an option nor I can walk away from my marraige ). Now I am paranoid piece of shit who doesn't trust his fianće . I have to be in this forever . Just fed up of people cheating on me inspite being honest and loyal all the time . I am tired way too much now .