It's ended at a point of no return. Not death. Something worse it seems, to be alive. To have that hole in your heart grow heavier and heavier. Till you think one day maybe it's gone, but it hasn't, you try to feel again and there it is. 

The hole always comes back. 

Maybe you get some consolation from somewhere, or someone. And you think, hey maybe it can be filled. But the hole always comes back.

I thought I'd outgrow it someday, thought I'd find something, some solution, some way to fill it up and go back to normal.

Why does it always come back?