I ask this question as a person without BPD who wants to understand what daily life is like. I’ve read comments by people who say their pain and self-loathing is daily, and others who seem to get through work and school, and suffer less. 

Did you always have chronic self-loathing every minute of every day? How did you learn to minimize the frequency of nagging thoughts of self-hatred?

What advice would you give to a person who is struggling to get through every day? As someone without BPD, how do I support a person who may be struggling to feel good about themselves, but doesn’t say, “I’m struggling.” If they always seem to smile and portray a different public persona, it’s hard to tell. 

Is pretending to be ok a coping mechanism? 

Thanks for any insight.