I obsess over my FP everyday. Within a matter of minutes, I fluctuate between imagining being with him and hating him. I just feel like I can’t forgive him. But I also imagine times where we hang out. I miss those days so much. I say “I hate you” aloud at least once a day because I feel it in my bones that I do. But my heart beats for him. 

It’s been this way for the past seven months. He left me two years ago, but I think I was so desperate for him to come back that I was overlooking my hurt. But nothing works. I’ve even met a new guy who I really like. But I miss my FP so much.