Let's start by saying I'm unappreciated doesnt even cover it. And before anyone says some smart shit, I'm an adult, and I already know being am adult isnt easy. But everything shouldnt be on me to do. And I shouldnt be treated like a criminal for asking for a few minutes to myself, even to shower. I used to be a lively musician in a band that was on its rise to the top. Now I feel like its a lie to say I'm just a shell of my former self. There is nothing left of me. Playing guitar used to bring me so much joy, and now I feel guilty for even thinking about doing it. How can i have so much love and so much hate for one person at the same time? I have been degraded, humiliated, and emasculated for so long that it doesnt even phase me. Nothing does. There is no emotion left. I dont want to die. I dont want to live. I dont want to sleep. I dont want to be awake.. Not that I'd get to do any of those things anyway... I have no friends anymore, my family doesnt seem to want anything to do with me either.. No one at all actually wants to talk to me. I feel like I'm stuck in hell. I dont get to be a real person. I'm just to tired to care or try anymore, and I don't want to. Im just going to exist like this until I die and thats all there is to it. 
End rant.