I’m not in a good way right now. I feel so close to giving up. I needed help tonight. I’ve been on the edge. I came home after drinking. Bad fucking idea obviously, but I did. I spilled some food and fucked up the floor. Asked family for help. I knew it was a bad idea the second I knocked on the door. I didn’t want to ask for help because it never, ever goes well. I gave in. I trusted them and told myself they would understand. Nope. I was just hungry. All I wanted was to eat. I never sleep anymore. I’m losing pounds every week and I finally wanted to eat. I was scolded. Treated like a fucking idiot. I needed comfort. I needed someone to tell me that it’s okay that I made a mistake. I needed someone on my side. I have no one and tonight just reaffirms that to me. I feel like the only people who even attempt to understand are the ones I pay to do so. I wish I could have therapy every day. At least she listens. I’m so tired you guys. I just wanted help tonight and instead I was proven a failure once again. Like always. I wish it was all over.