I don’t know where else to go with this so I thought here would work. I have been extremely depressed for the past two years, I was semi depressed for 4 years before that. My dad is a drunk and abuses me and my mom, my boyfriend does everything for me because my depression has bedridden me, I am overweight and cant lose it no matter how hard I try and don’t have any means of being an adult and am constantly criticized by everyone for it. For my whole life up to now I lived in a haunted apartment where I saw shadows at night, woke up with tears, scratches, and things under my skin, pictures were interrupted by faces and hands, and tons of people in my family died. For many years I was alone and couldn’t make friends or keep a relationship, finally got friends and a relationship but now have horrible ptsd that makes me constantly bother my boyfriend about cheating though he seems like the last person who ever would. There are so many more reasons I am depressed that can’t even fit in this. I just went to apply for a job with my boyfriend and I was dismissed and I am 18, he was however immediately hired and has all of these huge accomplishments to show for any job he goes to. I am heavily considering suicide and tried to look up the fastest ways on here but it brought me to a post on this reddit.