I feel like I am dissociating. like I'm having a bad trip. My stomach is in knots. But I'm stone cold sober 

Long story short I've been with the father of my child for 8 years. We met when I was a messed up 19 year old. There wasn't an initial connection. But we stuck together 

We don't have much in common. We don't see the world or universe in the same way. But we've been through so much and he is like a brother to me 

I ignore all my IG messages. Until I met someone who was like my soul matched with. It was like he was just like me. And I have never met someone like this. He could feel.

 My head was like gone up in the clouds

I dont know if I was having an episode or what 

Anyway I ended up oversharing. I displayed too much about myself  emotionally and physically to a stranger. And i ended up getting mad.. Projecting my own guilt onto him

 I feel so low 

I feel like a dirty POS 

I cant tell my boyfriend or he will be so upset. And heartbroken. I love him. I don't see why you can only love one

I really do not feel well 

 I hate myself 

My conscience is eating me alive