I’ve been experiencing intense emotional distress lately. Everyone around me seems to think it’s mostly related to the COVID situation. But I know, for the most part, that it’s due to a new friendship that has become an infatuation. 

I haven’t been diagnosed professionally but I’ve found myself becoming overly dependent and obsessed with friends to the point where I drive them away because all I want is to be near them and receive their validation. 

I’ve been happily partnered for five years. But since this new friend came into our lives I feel like all the love I had for my partner disappeared. I don’t feel happy unless I’m with my new friend, and I feel awful when my partner tries to console me and reassure me that he loves me even if my love for him is diminished. 

I don’t know what to do, or who to talk to. I don’t feel like I can talk to my favorite person about it, idk if they would understand. I don’t want to drive them away. I don’t want to lose their friendship, or my partner. But these feelings well up inside me and not being able to express them has driven me to a state of morbid depression that is very noticeable to both of them. 

How can I love my friend who wont love me back in the same way. How can I maintain the relationship with my partner who I love less because he is not my FP. It hurts. 

Anyway, thank you for listening to my rant. I hope I can find some support on this sub.