My dad is a nice guy. That fucking nice guy who 'doesn't' scream or recognize or care about what he's done or said. I hate it and I wish things were different. The lazy excuse of telling me to just accept him as he is, but also telling me I need to change. To tell me to just accept him and not put in any effort to improve is baffling to me, I've been in therapy and working on myself for so long because I have fucking problems, everyone fucking does, how does he not work on his?? He blames my medicine, he blames my friends, he blames videos I watch, he blames my period, he blames everything, not accepting he's made a mistake and I'm actually upset with him and it isn't due to medicine, my friends, videos or my period. He laughs when I cry, he laughs when I get hurt, he doesn't DO anything all day long, he lies in bed most the day, changing position to sit in the kitchen to eat and stare at his phone, it's like he's a toddler, and I'm like, how am I the only one in therapy? He makes me want to die, I hate that he's like this and won't ever change, and I'm tired of hearing with a smile that he's trying. I'm tired of having these thoughts about him, thinking he's stupid and evil. Is he?! I really don't know and am just exhausted with trying to figure it out and keep going to therapy, keep doing DBT with someone else, go to meetings, take my medicine, only for this fucking nice guy to not acknowledge he actually has problems and not seek doctor's help, not try in any way. And I'm tired of every time I mention he's hurt me, he makes it about him and how telling him he's hurt me hurts his feelings. When confronted with a foe, bless them, praise them, let them go...how??