I'm a bad person.I treat everyone horribly. I'm abusive and manipulative. I'm a narcissistic and I've been told I have BPD. I abused the love of my life to the point that she had to move out. I kicked her out of the house after she broke up with me, because I'm a piece of garbage who can't give anyone a chance.

I just continue the cycle of abuse. I was abuse both sexually and physically. I continue to hurt and abuse. I am suicidal.

I try so much to be better but every time I do I find out just how horrible I am and all I did was switch one horrible thing to another. There is not a good bone in me. I fucking hate who I am and no matter how hard I try to change, I'll just be a fucking monster who hurts anyone around him.