 

I have struggled with OCD, for almost 4 years now. Ofc i still struggle with some aspects such as false memories or obsessions, but my compulsions have gone. I think it has contributed a lot to my anxiety as it's literally spiralled out of control. I'm always in fear of something, recently i cant even leave the house because i think something will go wrong, there's so many other worries that don't even make sense. A few months ago i had major suicidal thoughts because it was taking over my life. It is interfering with my daily tasks.

I worry about everything and overthink to a crazy extent. My anxiety has been triggered recently over something so small, and I'm back to not sleeping and crying all night. My chest always feels so tight, and in public settings i literally freeze. I've had so many panic attacks, i hate it what's wrong with me? Why is everyone else so normal. Its affecting my relationships with people, its so hard to bloody hide.

Anyone who has dealt with a bad case of anxiety like this, how do you deal with it? Also i want medication, i tried therapy it didn't work. How do i get prescribed anti anxiety meds from the nhs, without having to do therapy.

Sometimes, I just stare in fear shaking, thinking in my head how the world and everyone in it scares me. I get so jealous of my cousins, anytime i ask them about their mental health they're always fine. They are clueless on anxiety. Why is it me? and as a poc its so hard for your parents to understand.