Basically the title. I'm at a good point in my life (minus covid and work stress anyway), and I never really get any splitting or depressive episodes. I still struggle with piss-poor eating habits but I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't... I'll suddenly find myself thinking that maybe I faked it all? All the dissociative episodes, all the splitting and the anger bouts and just... Everything? I'm out of therapy currently (I was discharged and then had 6 weeks sick leave due to work related stress and depression so I got rereferred by my GP), but I still feel like maybe I did?

Examples really I can think of is usually the day after every suicide attempt I'm fine and all happy go lucky, and the same if I relapse back into self harming... It just doesn't phase me and I can just forget about it and move on with a snap of my fingers. I just don't understand it