Maybe this is just cathartic to write this but here goes. I am 35, married with no children. I have a good job in tech which I've been at for 13 months. I left another job in tech that I spent 8 years at for this better one. For essentially the past 9 years, I have been in constant fear of losing my job. Even after good periods of feedback and promotions, I am always in fear of losing my job. In turn, I am constantly hustling on the side. Either to learn something new to give me an edge, or to provide extra income. I've nearly always been consulting for little companies on the side and in the past few years I've jumped into real estate investing. I've managed to create just a little bit of side income through the hustles but I feel like it's never enough since my normal job is 90% of my income. After working 9am-6pm or more, i work some more at other jobs or projects from 8-12 and then lay in bed online looking at open job roles to assure me there are other opportunities in case this goes sour and what those roles need from me if I were to apply. Is this normal? I am constantly stressing that I didnt do enough that evening and that I'm going to do X more amount in the next few weeks. (gotta impress by boss more, gotta make sure coworkers dont outwork me, gotta make sure I know these new concepts and industry skills, and so on) WTF.  

Back in 2009-2011, during the great recession I lost my job twice. I was lucky to even have work after graduating in 2008 but that stuff scarred me. Perhaps I've said no to children because I am fearful of one day not being able to provide for them. Outside looking in, my wife and I may seem successful but inside I feel like this cannot be normal and healthy.   


1. Does anyone else feel this way?
2. What do I do? How do I let go if this is not normal? Or is this just the way we in America live?