I know I do currently feel like I am going through life metaphorical wringer. My boyfriend of three years and the only person I talk to besides my mom is not "at a place" mentally where he can handle my mental instability. That's what he said when I told him the blades in the top drawer are triggering me. I get it this illness is more than enough for me to handle. He's depressed because of the way I'm living and I'm just struggling to convince my brain to keep living. Weird to say but I feel like this subreddit would understand. 

We got in a big fight 2 days ago, since then I haven't been able to eat a normal meal, I have to forcefully eat as I'm not hungry and all I want to do is avoid my heartache and reality by sleeping and self mutilating. I feel powerless to my illness. It'd be great if I had some online friends to talk to during the day to feel more connected to life. 
Thanks for taking the time to read and I hope this finds you in a good place. :)