I'd been having a really difficult time with anxiety for the past 1.5 years or so (probably would've not been so long without the pandemic). In recent moths (after Feb or so) I had been starting to feel a lot better, and like I was myself again. I could read books, enjoy my life, work effectively, and even when shitty things happened I could take them in my stride and not jump into a worry spiral. 

The last month had been really stressful at work though, I had been working ridiculous hours (no weekends off for ages), and last week after some very stressful meetings I realised I was getting very burnt out and told my boss I had to take a couple of days off. I was feeling pretty shitty, but had a relaxing weekend and figured hey, this is fine, I just need a break and then I'll be fine again. 

This week, however, has been absolute shit: on Monday morning, I found out my grandma had died, and also realised that I have a moth infestation at my home. I then had to spend the last 3 days (that I was supposed to spend recovering from burnout) deep cleaning my flat, panic about never being able to get rid of the moths after reading horror stories online, while also trying to figure out whether I can make it home for the funeral (I live in a different country so it's really difficult right now, and would have to stay inside for 10 days when I come back which scares me when exercise outside is one of the only effective methods I have for controlling my anxiety).

I am now back to feeling like a complete wreck, can't concentrate, can't drink coffee without feeling awful, and am in a constant state of "oh my god how can I survive this". I really thought I was over this and back to myself, and now I'm terrified that this'll never go away and my brain is too fucked to ever function normally again. 

Sorry for the long post, had to vent I guess.