About a month ago I came out of a manic episode and went straight into a depressive episode. Now I've come out of it and stable but the memories especially of the mania are foggy and I'm thinking to myself, "did that really happen?" I feel almost like I faked it and just used the manic card to justify the fucking awful things I did even though the episodes very much happened.

 I'm undiagnosed but I've seen the intake psychiatrist and have my first real appointment next week.