My boyfriend decided not to be with me anymore and my family don't understand what I'm going through. When I was diagnosed to have bpd, the only person that showed care and love for me is my boyfriend. He made me feel that he's there for me and he's never gonna give up on me. I am devastated knowing that he gave up because he realized he can't deal with me anymore, every time I'm having an episode. I don't blame him for anything or for choosing to leave but it hurts me so much to hear him say that it's all my fault and my illness is the reason why we can't have a future together. I did everything , I tried so hard to help myself get better and I feel like they don't see me trying at all. I feel like I'm a burden and I'm not worthy.I don't want to be selfish and force him to stay with me but I know he's aware that I can't get the support that I needed from my family. I always f*ck things up whenever I try to do my best to get better not just for me but also for people that I love. I just want to be happy and have them in my life but I realized that's something that I can't have because I'm never going to be enough for them. Life is unfair. I begged, I cried, I did everything but nothing works. Sometimes I feel like death is the only solution to end what I'm going through. I just want everything to stop. 


- I don't know why I'm venting out here but I just don't have anyone to talk to about what's going on with me right now.