So im 21 have been diagnosed with schizophrenia and heavy depression. Currently im taking meds for depression and schizophrenia. Do the meds help? maybe? At first when i was taking them i remember that i felt way better was it a placebo? Cause now i feel like shit. Even after trying many types of meds. At first my depression was not known. but i had it in school. For 2 years i lived sad miserable in school. Most days i could not even get up from bed to go to school. So later i dropped out. Now im stuck in life with no normal degree. Its not like im not trying to fix my life even in this state. Im trying to work out trying to learn programming. But lately i don't want anything or do anything. I feel so empty my mind is foggy. I feel like i don't want anything in life nothing excites me anymore. Gaming sometimes takes my mind of things but for a short while. Past time i don't want to game don't want to eat don't want to move don't want to exist. Some people don't suicide because they just want to die they do it cause they ether want the pain to end or the nothingness to stop. Im so clueless what to do with my life. I just want to be happy... all the time i don't understand am i just lazy? cause i don't know whats what anymore is it depression? schizophrenia? or lazyness? im so lost.