Like, it’s bad enough that I deal with breakdowns that make me incredibly impulsive and make everything hurt to the extent where I get drunk to crowd it out, but then I spam my FP about it every time, who “claims” they have no problem with it..

..but after my breakdown subsides my guilt plagues me about having put such a huge burden on my FP and extreme fear that they want to leave now. And being abandoned by my FP would be the end of my world.