My suicidial ideation is coming back. I was somewhat happy (numb) compared to what i was before for like 10 months because i got a job. I thought getting a job would fix all of my problems but it just cured my depression for like 10 months. It was quite bad last time. This time the suicidal thoughts feel more remember than before.

I feel like i would be able to go through with them. And the funniest part is that i don't even have real problems. I have everything some people could ever ask for, though im still an ungrateful miserable little fuck.

I think i might actually go through with this.

Im quite young, turning 18 in only 5 days. I'm sorry mom, dad, sister and friends. I know y'all care and would be here for me but you would never understand me even if i gave my best attempt at making you understand. I don't want this life.