I know I get upset over dumb shit all the time. I was just briefly mentioning how long it took to submit a document online to one of my classes to my sister. Not talking super loud. But then our mom who's sitting at the table doing some work on her laptop was all like "shhhh" when I was already finished delivering my sentence and not even talking at that point anymore. I don't know why but it's sent me into a spiral. I locked myself in my room and cried my eyes out about it. I think being uncomfortable being silenced comes with the fact that my mom has dealt with irritability in the past when I was growing up. She hushes everyone in the house even when they're not being super rowdy. Sometimes people are enjoying themselves and not making much noise except a single laugh maybe. Then she talks aloud at night when she stays up late and people are trying to sleep. I just feel like it's some double edged rule where it's okay for her, but not for me to act certain ways. My volume is policed when she is louder than me most of the time. I'm literally described as a quiet person most of the time. If I dared tell her she can get loud at night when she is staying up late, she would get mad at me. I know she is the most functional member of my mess of a family, but even she has her own issues that resurface every now and then. Her moods, her irritability. Sometimes she can also be indirectly invalidating. She is not always deliberately trying to invalidate me, but it's like she doesn't understand accommodating my bpd doesn't mean she has to agree with how I am feeling or whatever when it doesn't make sense to her. That's the hard part communicating this way she goes about hushing everyone in the house then gets loud when other people need her to lower her volume.