I’m very depressed most days I struggle to get out of bed I’m m20 and I’ve been on antidepressants for about 3-4 years now and nothing works for me I’ve been on nearly 10 different medications and gone to counselling and a psychiatrist but nothing seems to work for me I’m at a point in my life now where I can’t see a way out. I struggle to keep a job I’ve been unemployed for years now and I just keep making things worse for myself I have zero motivation to do anything, and when I do try normal things I get no joy or happiness out of them. I don’t think I can keep going like this for much longer all of my friends have moved on with their lives gotten good job, girlfriends, etc. I never get invited to anything cause I’m to gloomy to be around, I guess I’m writing this today because I need a place to vent all my frustrations, no matter how hard I try I can’t turn my life around. I’ve been out of school since I was 17 and I’ve done nothing with my life my parents divorced when I left school so I moved cities to live with my biological father and his wife and 2 daughters because I wanted to get out of that situation but they just wanted me gone as soon as possible so I moved back to my home town and lived with my mum and her new boyfriend. The reason my parents split up in the first place is cause my mum cheated on my step dad with her boss at work things were fine for awhile but my own mother started to treat me like shit she would ask me to go out or leave the house when I had nowhere to go late at night so she could fuck her boyfriend the same dude she cheated on my step father with so I would just sit in my car late at night on the road untill one day I refused and she kicked me out and stopped talking to me altogether. Went to live with my step dad and still currently live with him but I feel all this pressure to do all these things I don’t want to do and constantly get blamed for other peoples problems cause they think I’m setting a bad example by “being depressed” it’s gotten to wear I can’t deal with this shit for much longer I have no desire to stay alive