i always have done my best to be kind to others and to be empathetic, but since my diagnosis i feel like i must deep down be a bad person.  i found the support subreddit for people abused by people with bpd, and there's like.. a lot of vitriol and just... idk how to explain.  i had to close it and i'm trying to never look at it again, A) because it's a support group for people without bpd and i guess that's not me, and B) because it felt kind of deeply hurtful.  and i don't mean to stir drama as per the rules of the sub, it just kind of feels important to mention because it really feels like a deep cut right now.

obviously i know that not everyone with bpd is abusive or manipulative or toxic, but i guess right now i feel like i must be.  it hurts so much to get this diagnosis.  i really want to help other people with my career and my life, but i'm worried now that i'll always have an underlying fear that i'm doing it for personal gain or something.

does anyone have any advice with coping?  with feeling like a good person and *being* a good person?