About three months ago, my ex boyfriend and I broke up because I had realized that I didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. During the last few months of our relationship, I experienced extreme mood swings where I would absolutely love and adore him one day, and then want nothing to do with him the next.

This lead to us breaking up because I would feel so bad about how I would treat him during the stage of me not wanting to be with him that I would think he would be better off without me. However, this never lasted long because after about a week, I would miss him and come crawling back to him.

But, again, I would experience the feeling of not wanting anything to do with him and there was absolutely NOTHING I could do to help it. I didn’t, and still don’t, know my emotions most of the time. I don’t even know what I want ever. My mood shifts so frequently and abruptly to the point where I get so insanely frustrated.

I feel absolutely awful for my ex boyfriend, too, but there is literally nothing I can do to shake this feeling. One day I love him and the next, I don’t. But then I will regret everything I said to him about not wanting to be with him, and I would tell him I want to be with him, just to do it all over again.

I wish more people would shed some light on this :( it truly sucks not knowing what to do or how to think, and not even knowing what you want because of a chemical imbalance in your brain.