Not to mention I feel like I barely have friends. I feel like every guy I go for shows so much interest in me first but then something happens and then turn on me like a bulldog. I don’t know what I do wrong, I never ever show them my bpd side I don’t show them my ugly side I’ve learned that you can’t show anyone that it scared them anyway. But it just seems with out me doing much except showing a little interest they turn away from me. I was on vacation for a while and this chatting me telling me how much he wanted to see me and everything and always talking to me. We’ve been talking for a while and I never got the chance to meet up with him since I’ve been so busy lately and kind of rejected his offers previously. But I come from vacation and ask him when he’s free, and now it’s very slow answers but now I haven’t heard from him since his last text was “if not Friday maybe like Sunday” (talking about meeting up) he never cared to message me yesterday saying he couldn’t hang out or anything. Anyways what I’m trying to say is this is a reoccurring theme with me and boys. I can’t handle ghosting anymore it’s become too much of a thing in dating these days. It’s so hurtful. Can’t you just confront someone about what’s truly on your mind instead of leaving them in the dark? Thank god im moving far away next week and will never see anyone in this terrible city any longer. I’m finding a job maybe even two, focusing on practicing my music and not involving myself in romance anymore. I can’t put in this energy anymore I’m going to become lifeless and drained. I’m so sad because I truly do just want to feel loved and atm I don’t feel a lot of it.