Basic info: I(20M) have depression and anxiety, I am Medicated, see a therapist, and use marijuana.

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I had not the best childhood I was babied and over protected by my mom(she's a lot better now about it), hated and bullied by my older brother cause I took up most of moms attention (our relationship is great now we talked it out years ago), I had a shit ton of the weirdest illnesses that had me out of school all the time, I was bullied all through school by staff and students until it made me suicidal in high school and I switched to online homeschooling which was fine until covid happened as I was about to graduate and the influx of new students caused the servers to "crash and reboot causing some local drives data to be lost" which reset my entire last year and I just dropped out, I didn't have any relationships through all that either, I never had a job because of social anxiety before and now my it's my back hurting if I stand for more than a minuet, I ate for comfort as a kid and through my teens causing me to gain a lot of weight (I'm losing it now tho I'm 350lbs. 60lbs+ lost since the beginning of the year), ever since I was born I've had eczema and it only got worse with age so much so at one point I had super itchy infected spots on my ankle that had exposed muscle and to this day have psoriasis like scales below my knee to my ankle.

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I am trying to fix myself as I said I'm losing weight I've also applied for disability but am stuck in the waiting process, and I am waiting to get approved for weekly injections that will hopefully clear up my skin. But even after all that I don't feel any better and still feel regret every day about all the stuff I missed and haven't done that everyone around me even some of my younger friends are doing more and better than me, I feel like I'm just some gross fat scaly skinned manchild whos got so may problems and shortcomings that I feel like no one would ever wanna be with me let alone be attracted and/or interested in me.