I can't find this "symptom" anywhere and it probably means nothing but it's something I've noticed for a long time where multiple options are ambiguous to me and I'm very uncertain about making choices. It used to be worse but is still here. When presented with multiple options I have a very hard time choosing unless I know a whole lot about something. This isn't just for things like "what shirt would you want", I remember taking a multiple choice test about mental health things and I feel like half of the answers I just had to roll the dice on as "I could see how I'm like this answer, but also like this one and that one too". I think [personality tests](https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test) are generally bullshit but still you'd think I could answer whether I prefer to be alone or not consistently, but I don't, I feel like this for like 2/3rds of questions (like, in general not just personality or mental health tests) and am only confident in like 10-20%. Such as, "You find it easy to stay relaxed even when there is some pressure", well I'm an anxious person so I feel like the answer is "no", but I'm the type to pause and not let automatic reactions come out so I feel like "yes" because I can back away and attempt to gather my thoughts while under pressure without *totally* freaking out, but still I *feel* the pressure and it does negatively affect me so I'm back to "no"; one day I answer one way and the next I answer another. "People can rarely upset you.", well it's both! I don't get upset easily because I'm not very in tune with my emotions and tend to see things logically, but also I feel like if I'm thinking about subtle or not so subtle changes in relationships for extended periods of time then that means I must be upset even at little things (I haven't talked to a friend for a long time now over something dumb, but another friend hasn't been talking to me over something dumb that I don't see how she got so worked up over).

I feel like the answer is just "yea everyone goes through that, it's nothing", but I'm still curious if there's more information on this subject and if it may point to one thing or another (knowing one single symptom means nothing by itself). I feel like part or even most of the answer is that I had a pretty severe lack of a sense of self for most of my life, part of this is because I'm trans and didn't have the emotional maturity to face up to it for decades and lived a lie to myself, another is how I was raised and emotionally neglected and raised by narcissists who just wanted me to praise them and be there for them and they were never there for me. Even the previous sentence is same issue! I don't know if my lack of self is big reason or a tiny one for why I see multiple options as ambiguous, "lack of a self fully explains it, though maybe it doesn't explain it at all and something else is going on".