Growing up I dealt with a lot of traumatic shit.. a couple days ago I came out to my dad about what happened and for a bit I felt physically ill, really dissociated, dizzy, exhausted, and super anxious. Today I went to my little cousins bday party and I was holding her up to the sink so she could wash her hands and my mind immediately  went "What if you hurt her?", I got so scared it felt like my mind and body just locked up.. i felt like a monster I wanted to disappear. Does anyone else ever get scared that they'll end up like their abusers?