I’ve been massively depressed since August and I can’t cope anymore. My crisis team discharged me three weeks ago as I was starting to make some improvements, but I stopped my antipsychotic due to side effects and now the voices are back full force. I hate myself, I don’t see life ever getting any better and my husband deserves to be happy. I need peace, I need my brain to switch off and the intrusive thoughts to stop, and I have to go back to work in a week and I literally can’t cope. I’m either sobbing, numb, distressed or self harming. My life has never been happy, abused as a child and as an adult I’ve had one mental health hurdle after another. I long to be anorexic again to go to hospital and be in a safe bubble away from real life because that’s the only alternative to death right now. I feel absolutely hopeless and really crying out for help now. Life he never felt so dark.