Hi guys! So for context I am a 21 year old female. I have a good amount of trauma, nothing too major but I was diagnosed w bipolar 2 as a teen. It’s pretty well managed with medication it seems, but I’ve been doing not too good. My therapist isn’t letting me see her because of an unpaid bill which honestly puts off me wanting to see her at all, I’ve reached out to my mother who doesn’t respond, my best friend who I reached out to told me our friendship is toxic/codependent which honestly is probably true (I feel like it’s been a trend in my life to codepend on people). I’ve told my boyfriend of 3 years that I feel this way but I’ve honestly downplayed it a bit to not concern him. He’s been cleaning our apartment a lot and trying to do little things to cheer me up but I just don’t really know what to do. I’m a CNA (agency) and the coworkers at the facility I’m currently at are pretty mean, I don’t really have many friends because I’m closed off and I just kind of don’t know what to do at all. I’ve been having really dark thoughts and ideations and I just don’t really have a support system. I was wondering if anybody else has gone through this? And if so, was there anything you were able to do to kind of “snap out of it” a little? I know depression isn’t that simple but I just need to know better ways to boost myself up and be more positive. I’ve been exercising a bit eating better making sure I get good sleep and having a clean house, I’ve been avoiding my anxiety meds and quit drinking but I feel kind of hopeless. 
Sorry for the long post I kind of just needed to let it out. Maybe I should journal haha