My new therapist doesn't think I have BPD because of what sounds like some bullshit reasons. Thoughts on these?

1) Me pushing people away my whole life isn't a frantic attempt to avoid abandonment. Apparently I've done that way more than people have legit abandoned me so it doesn't count. I don't even fucking understand this.

2) I cut and self-harm in various ways (pulling my hair, hitting myself, digging my nails into my skin, taking too many pills not to kill myself but because I don't care etc.), but it doesn't count because the criteria is about self-mutilation (scars all over the body) and not self-harming.

3) I bitched her out in our session but apparently my anger wasn't "inappropriate." I've been carrying around deep anger and shame for nearly 20 years but apparently that's not problem enough to qualify for the criteria.

Those are just a few examples. I feel so invalidated.