I’ve posted previously about rejection and how I’m sent into a downward spiral and here I am again. 
I find it so hard to accept and let go. Every time I push and push the other person til they say the same things to me: “you need help” “stop talking to me” and other things basically implying they think I’m crazy and do not want anything to do with me ever again. 

This time the guy was so intense for 2 weeks and then faded away. I became instantly so anxious and he then turned around and blamed my messaging and behaviour for him no longer being interested. He said his type is career driven, independent etc. Thanks...
Since then he has actually apologised, said I didn’t do anything wrong and that I am a nice person inside and out he just didn’t have the guts to tell me he wasn’t feeling it earlier. Strung me along for a few weeks instead saying he was just busy. 
I should know better what “just busy” means by now 😓

Because I always keep talking to people and try to get them to come around to being friends as I fear loss so badly, we’ve kept chatting. For some reason he’s kept responding and we’ve gone round in circles for about a week. He’s nice to me one minute then not the next. But these highs and lows keep me addicted. It almost would’ve been better if he’d blocked me straight after the original rejection. 

As a lot of us are I’m very low right now, I had my hopes up yet again with this guy and I’m back to the bottom where I feel that familiarity and safety in the misery. 

What’s so funny is when I first met this guy his jaw dropped and I felt disappointed. So why do I even care what he says thinks or does