Any other Child Sexual Abuse survivors feel guilt and shame for when being sensual and sexual?

I (28/F) can express sexuality similar to Marilyn Monroe where she acts sexy and childlike at the same time. I think it is because I was abused as a child just like her where my child part of me is dissociated. Or I wonder if it’s mainly because of my ENFP/bubbly/flirty personality. For example, I’ve noticed when I really appreciate what someone says or am enjoying good food, without realizing it, I’ll make passionate and sensual body movements and sex noises while saying mmhm and mmm. I have begun to notice I’ll sometimes adjust my energy/flirting with a man in a way that appeals to him as a way of people pleasing in order to get what I want, feel safe, or to survive from their anger. I learned as a young girl how to change myself to appeal to my abusers in order to survive and get what I want.

Now that I’m an adult, I still have this issue of “flirting on accident” when I’m with men. And then I close off and hide my personality because I get scared they might start liking me and that I’ll get abused. I feel shame like it was my fault I attracted men’s sexual attention. I have been sexualized my whole life and so then when I behave in a sexual way, I think it’s my fault for attracting sexual harassment.

Anyone else relate?