It's the same thing every day, and it's suffocating. I'm stuck as the same person I was a year ago, except that by some insane metric, I've gotten, and continue to get, worse. Everyone I know has at least someone or something, but I'm left with nothing and no one; it’s just me. I'm getting sicker and sicker while everyone else is fine, and I hate it. 

I'm still plagued by the past, I'm still rotting in my own depression, and I'm still here, the same as I always was. Everything about me is deteriorating. I find a way to mine deeper every time I think I've reached rock bottom, and I'm sick of being me. I look at how they’re prospering without me and I take a step back and reflect on myself just to realize how stagnant I am. Everyone’s gotten over it, everyone’s fine without me, but I can’t say the same for myself. I can almost feel the weight of it pressing on my body. I’m not comfortable in my own skin; I’m not safe in my own mind; and it keeps getting worse. I think it can’t be that this is it, that there’s clear skies ahead, but I fall lower again and again.

I want someone to fix me or to just be there because I don’t think I can take another day of this hell.