I lost my job 2 months ago because of COVID and I was doing fine at first but now its just so hard to be happy because for the longest time I have had 0 friends besides my boyfriend and having a job distracted me. Now I have no job and am stuck at home 24/7, I've been doing things to keep me busy and after a while I'm losing it completely. My boyfriend is too busy and when he talks about his friends I get so sad... I wish I had a connection with people. I wish I had someone to talk to and just love and be there for them. I have overshared a bit with people and I notice they just stay away from me.. but when I tell them they seem so nice about it. Now I just can't trust anyone I meet anymore 

Everytime I have made the effort to get to know someone it never works out. They either never respond to my texts, never make the effort to talk to me first or we just dont connect well and they dissapear. I'm not a mean person at all but I really dont know what it is.. but I just wanna die sometimes. I feel unloved and unwanted in this world. I have done everything it takes to try to meet someome new by talking to someone on Reddit, going to school, dance classes you name it. I feel completely disheartened with the way things have been going..