I used to post on here with throwaways from time to time, usually after many, many drinks. I wanted to die. I hated everything. You could find the words I wrote in just about any post here. I felt all those feelings.

I got better.

For me, it involved divorcing my wife. Over a decade of struggling to make my marriage work, and failing, had left me feeling worthless. So I confronted the problem head on, and divorced her. Barely a week after she moved out, a close friend I had had strong feelings for, a beautiful young woman who was my boss at work and was leaving for a new job, confessed her feelings for me. She was going through a divorce as well. She moved in with me that night, and we've been together since.

I still sometimes can't believe what has happened. It's enough to make me question my reality every day. One day I'm trying to find clean ways to kill myself, the next day a beautiful soul in a beautiful young body has her head on my shoulder and is crushing herself against me with all her strength. Life completely turned around, stopped on a dime and rotated 180 degrees, in a matter of hours. No matter how this relationship goes, or how anything else in life goes, from now on I will know that ***anything*** can happen. You should know that, too. Anything can happen.