Hello,

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Hope to find you all happy and well. 

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I (25f) have been quite anxious the past weeks, even months because I feel I'm losing a lot of childhood friendships and I don't know what to do because until before the pandemic they were super present in my life. The pandemic affected a little our friendship but we managed to pull through, however in May I moved out of my house to my own apartment with another friend and since then things have been quite shaky since I'm the second one from our group to have taken this step. Since then I always call and send texts to check up (I've always been this person and don't expect the same treatment). But at the same time I've been going out with my roommate and with new friends from work and with my boyfriend and his friends. I have been having a lot of fun. And I often ask my childhood friends to mark something but it's always a bit harder but I still go meet other people (the ones I mentioned). And I feel all these have made them invite me less because they assume i'm always busy, when sometimes I'm a whole week alone at home. They never call me first or text me, it's something I always do, so it's not like I forgot them, because I make effort to be present in their lives.

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Now recently, we had a dinner for this friday but because of one mistake one of my friends can't make it and the other is quite pissed and isn't talking to us - i think because my friend who mistook the dates talked to me first about it to see if we could have any new date. 

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I am feeling very anxious because these friends mean the world to me. I have been feeling alone cause I missed them and barely got to meet them and now somehow I've made them angry and distant too. I feel at the end I'm at guilt. 

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Sorry to write so much I'm just sad.