My problem itself may seem trivial to anyone, but I felt that its a large part or my life and wherever I go I will and always will be reminded of it. I have gone through enough to know when someone’s not wanted in a get-together of some sort. About some time ago I posted here regarding my loneliness which so happens that my workplace is filled with either people I could not connect or people who don’t bother to connect with me. For 20 years of my life I always felt alone even in a gathering. Because I can barely connect to anyone. All of them talks about their interesting lifes filled with events, while I was only bullied. As of now I’m in a hotel with my colleagues. I called them that because none of them even care if I come or not. To sum it, basically if I don’t even come nothing will change. I barely get talked to and barely even recognized. Same goes from my workplace, other people are noticed by their superiors but I don’t even though I tried my hardest. Just for a side note, I tried to get recognized since I wanted better grades for my internship program and also connections with experiences. But I guess I’m just to weak, boring, pathetic, untalented, stupid, slow, careless, and such a waste of human skin (bloodborne reference). This time I was in a room for 3 people 1 chick and 2 dudes including me. And guess fucking what? They both had sex while I just waited for them. The others are at a meeting too. I fuckin hate my environment. And I fuckin hate my life. Why can’t I just be noticed as a human, as a person, or even as a living being. I really just want to go home and cut another wound up just to cope. And btw last night 2 people were basically chaotic enough to ruin my drinking session. One had bowel issues and one was puking all over (the chick btw). Again, I took care of them with the other guy, but again even after they woke up not even a good morning or hi, just “what did you hear?”. I even asked to come here rather than getting invited, because of course why would  anyone want a weird weabo fat ass retarded school shooter lookin ass to come. Sorry if these are incoherent, I really just want to vent because I barely even talked last night. Thanks for making this community, without it I could have gone really worse off.