So childhood trauma has made me anxious in a way beyond prepare. And now I sleep about 3-4 hours a night. I'm losing hair. My skin got significantly older in one year because of cortisol. And I'm not making this up, I got dermatologist telling me that. So I look permanently older. Because of sleep deprivation I can't lift a finger, let alone excersise. Nothing works, I try to do all the soothing and calming measures there is. I KNOW everything is fine. My body just doesn't believe it. I live thourgh panic attack every single minute between 6pm to 6am.

It is sad to realize this may never end. That means no work, no money, I have to give my baby girl to her dads. Obviously I'm getting suicidal. What there is to be done? Even severe depression would feel like a holiday.