Unfortunately I suffered from mild Asperger's and social anxiety that caused me to isolate myself too much in my school days. The most painful thing is that most people I made them think I was an introvert but in reality I WAS a shy extrovert. At the end of the last course I was finally SUPER sociable, friendly and confident but it was too late.
I thought that maybe I could socialize at the University but the pandemic came and that made me not go out for 2 years (added to the fact that I developed strong insomnia and OCD). At first I didn't care, I had a blessed and very happy life in other aspects, but as the months went by, I began to care more and more, even though I did manage to make a lot of male friends and some female friends (including former colleagues) from the internet, I did not manage to improve on the romantic and intimidate subject. 
During the day I am positive and I get distracted listening to music, playing sports, and doing my favorite hobbies (when I think about it I read a lot of politics and I forget about it) but every time I see a couple or my family/friends comes up with the topic of romantic relationships/girls/sex I feel like a wretch inside and when the night comes in the middle of the silence i want to cry and I feel really bad for having wasted so many years of my life acting like a fool.
The point is not that I want to have a girlfriend, it's that I would have liked at least to have a first kiss or have some interaction with a girl. I have been taking antidepressants for 3 months for insomnia and anxiety which have helped a lot, I have never tried drugs, i don't drink alcohol (I don't even watch porn because I know it will make me more depressed), I exercise, I eat well and I know I shouldn't worrying about this because in life there are more important things but sometimes my human nature plays tricks on me. 
Today I have some friends, I no longer have social anxiety and for most people I am a very happy person but that girls part makes me continue to have very strong depressive and painful periods with severe apathy that I am ashamed to tell. I know that Tinder or going to a party and all that would be recommended to me here but right now I'm not ready to be with someone even though I don't feel ugly I need to improve my appearance and earn money.
I know I need psychiatric help and I'm planning on doing it next week but I'd like something to cheer me up or any tips from you guys.