Sorry for the wall of text, on mobile.
I,  despite making drastic improvements in my friendship and work life, have not managed to maintain any sort of romantic relationship. I've had the same group of friends since the age of 8+ (I'm a female in my 30's now) no problems with them. Every job I  get I  take seriously and have been promoted 2 times in 3 1/2 years. 
Every guy I  date I'm an expert at scaring off. I  went out with this great guy last week after he'd been dying to go out with me for months. We had a very nice first date and I  felt so good because he was sooo into me. A whopping two days after that and my abandonment issues with men reared its ugly head and in short he's probably counting his lucky stars he dogged a bullet. 

I'm so tired of being a bullet. I  know deep down I'm a great person with plenty of love to give. I'm loyal and considerate. I'm funny and smart and ok on the eyes too. But my fear of being alone makes me act in ways that ensure I  will be. I'm probably gonna die a bitter old woman.