I’m currently in uni and I have nothing going for myself. My grades are always mediocre or below and nothing seems to pay off. I don’t even know if what I’m majoring in is what I wanna do because it doesn’t come as easy for me as it does with others in my class who seem to have so much experience and already know everything. This destroys any spur of motivation I might gain throughout the day which I already lack. My other classes only stress me out and I feel like I’m trying to NOT fail rather than learn because of all the work on top of my stress. I also suck at everything I do. I have no talents, true passions, or hobbies to make up for my lackluster life. After high school it seems like I just sleep most of my days away or sit in silence in my room to procrastinate or because I just don’t know what else to do. I’m already behind in life when everyone else is living fulfilling lives. I’m 19 almost 20 with no job, no money, no car, no skills, no house, and in college just passing by. I don’t know if I’ll even be able to afford to stay in school after this semester if I wanted to. I try to reach out to my friends by bringing these things up as a call for help and although appreciated their responses are always similar or recycled. I regret many of my decisions as well as actions. Intrusive thoughts are getting harder to avoid every day. I love my family but I feel like I can’t express it enough to them with the kind of stoic personality I have. It saddens me to think that they might not know how much I love them. That’s why I can’t do anything to harm myself and I often wish there were alternative ways to not exist. I have nothing to be proud of right now and no redeeming qualities. This may seem all over the place but that’s exactly the state my mind is in everyday. I don’t know what’s next but if things don’t get better soon I will give up. If you got this far through my bullshit rant please say something so that I know I might not be alone on this.