I have bpd and have been in therapy for four years I was doing better until news of infertility and I started to feel lost my identity was shattered and I wanted my husband to stay home and be there for me. He wanted to be with friends late at night and accused me of trying to isolate him and he was so defensive when I just wanted him home late at night I never wanted him to stop hanging out with friends just less. He got so defensive I started to become paranoid. he offered me no reassurance and stayed out even later. He moved out almost a month ago. He’s living with another woman and I just want him to come home. sometimes I feel like I can hear the car in the driveway, the front door open, his keys on the table, his footsteps in the hall. all these memories from the last five years rush into my mind it feels like they’re happening all around me. he left me all alone in this house and he won’t come home. I wish I didn’t want him to come home, but I still love him so much despite the lies, cheating, betrayal, and gaslighting. I don’t know what to do I keep waiting for him to snap out of this.. he was a good husband and a few months ago he told me he thinks he has NPD everything changed after that. He has been so cruel and blames it all on my mental health he’s convinced everyone we know that I’m “crazy” and I’m starting to feel like I am. I think he really loved me I just want him to stop this and go to counseling with me