scared of actually getting better? I've been this way since I was 13. I am 36 going on 37. I don't even know what it means to 'feel better'. I mean what the fuck is that? Don't get me wrong, I do have my good days.. Lately, they actually outnumber the bad days but I know deep down that I still suffer from this. I guess if I do 'get better', then what? I don't know any other kind of life than this one.. 