I have been unhappy since i can remember, even as a child i was too mature for my age and i didn't have the best childhood. I wanted to die when i was a kid too,
I remember having these thoughts since i was about 6. But as a child i was slightly optimistic that i would be happy once i grew up. I am now 19 and can not remember a single day that i was happy. I dread waking up, i hope that every night i go to sleep and never wake up. I am that unhappy and have been for so long that i can't even put it into words anymore. It is so exhausting, no one understands how tired i am of everything. I feel physically sick. I do not want to be here at all, i whole heartedly mean it when i say i want to die or i hate being here. Everyday i think about dying. A good day to me is when i have only thought about death once in that whole day. I hope i get the courage
to actually do it one day. This is an never ending cycle, i have tried so hard to be happy and get rid of these thoughts but i never succeed. I am not looking for attention but i just wanted to get it off my chest.