Sorry for using a throwaway, I don't want this linked on my main account.

I'll start from the beginning. Around two weeks ago, I was in bed, it was 4 AM, and I was going to sleep after playing Virtual Reality for a couple hours. I felt this wave sensation over me whenever I had a "heavy" heart beat, this happened twice, and I started to freak out. I get out of bed, and start to spiral out of control, I instantly realize I need help. This has happened to me before while I was stoned, so I recognized the feeling. I feel like I'm sitting in the passenger seat, my thoughts and memories being "reset" every single time I feel that wave sensation I was talking about, which was happening every 1-2 seconds now. I end up outside my parents room, not even knowing how I ended up there, saying I was having a panic attack. Things that normally calm me down, such as drinking water, only made it worse. It felt like I was tripping (falling, not drugs) over, and over, down, and down. Eventually they calmed me down and I fell asleep around 5:30 AM.

Now, that was a quick summary of what happened that night. I've never experienced anything that intense. I talked to my school's mental health therapist about it, and I told her that I had the strongest urge to curl up until a ball while that was all happening. Along with more advice, she told me that if it happens again, it wouldn't hurt to just follow the urge and see what happens.

So, the past few days I've felt off. Everytime I try and lay down and get some rest, I would feel those sensations. It never turned into a panic attack or anything, and after a long time of rolling around in bed, and telling myself I'm fine, I'm able to eventually get to sleep. Today, after I got home from work, I went to take a nap- same thing. I get out of bed, stare at myself in the mirror for a few minutes, feeling panicy, I go downstairs, eat a granola bar, still feeling panicy. I get back upstairs, and I get onto my bed, and decide to just follow the advice and curl up into a ball. It was so peaceful for the first few seconds, the feeling is so hard do describe. After \~20 seconds, I start to cry, then I get out of my ball, and I start sobbing, yelling, crying, moaning, you name it. I broke down. I completely just let everything out, I've never felt anything quite like it.

Now I'm not even sure if I feel better. It felt good, yeah, but am I better? I don't know what the sensations I was feeling were, I don't know why this was all happening. I'm just tired, confused, and feel like I'm going crazy. Where do I go from here?

Thanks.