Long story short, I entered a pretty severe dissociative &amp; depressive episode around the start of Covid lockdowns, and started recovering a few months ago.

I honestly don’t remember much of the last couple of years; nothing felt real, I was drinking a lot, I was working a lot and I don’t think I experienced any true emotion the entire time. 

In March 2020 I was 23, a size 10 and had a ton of friends &amp; super active social life. I’m now 26, a size 14 &amp; all of my ex friends are now either married or in serious relationships while I’ve remained single. 

I feel like I ruined my life over the last couple of years and there’s no bouncing back. I’m not as pretty as I was, &amp; while my friends used the last few years to find healthy relationships &amp; life partners I sat around getting old and fat while simultaneously isolating myself to a point where I no longer have any consistent social relationships.

I’m very blessed to have a close and supportive family; however, my parents are happily married &amp; my sister is in a long term relationship with the most incredible partner, so I’ve remained a fifth wheel. 

I’m honestly really scared of the future. I think my parents will die and my sister will be distracted with her life, I’ve already been forgotten by all my friends, and I’ll probably end up old and alone. Idk if putting in work to live for that is worth it.