it feels like i’m disassociating. as though i’m not here right now. the last few hours i couldn’t stop laughing at literally everything. rn reality is hitting me though and i want to die so bad. i feel so empty and that all my days are useless and just filled with random shit to keep them from being empty. exam season is sending me into a spiral, not to mention a creepy ass encounter i had today. i feel empty and numb and i can’t look ahead and i haven’t felt this way in so fucking long. i can’t fucking deal with this. im tired of everything and i don’t want to deal with anything at all. i just really feel like hurting myself. im in one of those moods where i’m scared of what i’m capable of. i can’t show emotion and i feel numb and act cold toward everyone and it feels like i can’t help it. literally struggling to stay zoned in while typing this. ik that this’ll be over soon and i’ll feel stupid but rn it feels like the end of the fucking world and like i should just do whatever the fuck my mind is telling me to do. im so fucking tired of the instability of my emotions and my mind in general. im so tired