does anyone else purposely distance themselves to see who will take notice or if anyone even cares? so far ive found nobody who does. it feels like my male friends talk to me more than my boyfriend, i know he's sick of me and the way i act. he hangs out with his friends and doesnt even remember i exist. i dont want to beg for attention anymore, i just shut off for a day and if nobody messages me, it turns into a week and into a month. im desperate for him to care, and for me to be a priority. ive just been crying for hours because im helpless, i cant tell him i need him more because he'll resent me even more than he does. i hate that i do this, i fuck everything good up. sorry this turned into a vent but i just dont know what to do anymore. my craving for constant love and affection is pushing me into the deep end. craving love and affection when youre an unlovable person is torture. being alive is just suffering and suffering and me causing people trouble. whats the point