I started crying at the supermarket checkout because I’d been feeling emotionally sensitive for several days (thanks PMS) and the guy I’m seeing had been commenting on my likely hormonally triggered ditziness. It reached breaking point when he was harsh with me for not having  brought ID with me. As soon as he noticed he tried to be gentle and as we left he apologised and reassured I hadn’t been annoying but of course my mind didn’t believe that and all day I was becoming increasingly paranoid he’s not all that into me and that I’m a fundamentally awful person. I’m still paranoid and uncertain how much of that is rational. However I did make an attempt at explaining why I reacted the way I did. 

Anyway the main triumph came when we got back to his and I said I needed to chill before we started cooking. After a bit he suggested we start the food but I still felt a bit down and vulnerable so I plucked up the courage to ask for a hug and confessed I needed reassurance sometimes. Like I could have just totally spiralled and become increasingly paranoid and started making passive attempts at gaining that comfort and reassurance but I just straight up put myself out there.

Still a ways to go with being assertive and confident and direct and balanced in my communication but it felt like I handled it far better than I could have done. 

Ended up having a nice night making sushi and watching TV together too :)