She’s a super important friend of mine - the kind that helps me move house at 2am, the kind that took me  in when my father chased me out years ago. (Of cos I’m just naming the two specific examples and it doesn’t means this is our usual dynamic)

After we started working (and due to her extremely introverted nature) we can go days without talking, then weeks, then months….

On May 2021 I met her and everything seemed fine, but we went home and she just started fading off again - I thought it was normal.

But September came when we were supposed fo collect our graduation gowns together - when I texted her she just said she alr collected, and when I asked why? She didn’t reply. I also asked if she was free for dinner and she simply said no.

I guess I was hurt, then October her birthday passed I didn’t say anything.  By November she changed her Netflix acc and that was that.

Knowing her she’s the kind to avoid confrontations, and I missed her, so I decided to just pretend nothing happen - last week I sent her a random pic of this pen I got her last year (our inside joke but never had a chance tk pass to her). She didn’t reply. So yesterday I texted her casually asking her to go to the movies saying I’ve extra tickets, and lightheartedly said let’s go next week! 

She simply replied “nope I don’t want to go”.

Ouchhhhhhhh……… I don’t usually get close to peolle and the few friends I have I cherish. But I’m not sure what has happened here.

I don’t wish to confront her either knowing she won’t reciprocate - and this has triggered my abandonment issues so bad. Abrupt as it may seem (since nth happened) Deep inside I knew that maybe she was tired of me and this was accumulated. Maybe I’m just too much for her.

Reminded me of the times when she used to just “disappear” when I get emotional (such as going through a breakup etc) but I always told myself that it’s fine, perhaps she just hates such emotional situations and she’s always there when I needed real help.

But to just turn her back completely on me right now.. :’(


I can only wonder what the f is wrong with me.