I met my bf on tinder as most people that meet up on tinder nothing ever really ends up working out right? 
Well for about a month or two we hooked up, and then he ghosted me then came back to “meet up” again after that month of NC I was on edge about him ghosting me but badly to the point of having nightmares and anxiety over it. After feeling like this I just pushed him away bc I didn’t wanna get hurt. That is when he came back and was texting me yet once again, by this time I was already talking to someone else trying to distract myself from the void he left me. When he messaged me I went off on him saying I couldn’t do this anymore that I wanted something more meaningful to my (very wild) surprise he told me to wait that wanted something more too. I was shocked and elated but now we are 5 months in our relationship and anytime we can’t speak due to work or being really busy with life I fucking PANIC thinking he wants to leave me, is cheating on me, or is with me out of pity.  I can’t stop feeling like this and it’s all bc of how we started out. I keep going back to the beginning thinking he’s going to abandon me. I know that wasn’t even the case bc we were just casually hooking up. I hate being aware of all the things that I do that are irrational and I can’t stop myself from feeling like this and doing irrational things. I need help what are some ways you guys snap yourself out being passive aggressive and irrational?