Since this past summer I have dealt with extreme depression and have developed panic disorder as well as an eating disorder and possibly more as I’m currently on a wait list to have more evaluations done. I’m at my lowest point that I have ever been at. I have always dealt with family issues regarding divorce, financial issues, and with a dad who has been without work for 5 plus years due to his own mental health issues of PTSD, depression, bipolar disorder etc. so I’m used to dealing with a lot on my plate. However since moving out and away to university, things have slowly but progressively gotten worse. I have tried expressing myself and my feelings to my friends/roommates but I always feel completely and utterly minimized. They just say that they are depressed too even tho they always talk about how happy they are and post about how great their life is on social media. It’s almost like it’s some sort of competition and I just feel so crazy for feeling the way I do. Whenever I try and justify as to why I’m puking my guts out from my anxiety and having to take Ativan or other drugs to simply muster up the energy to leave my house…they just respond with “ya I’m anxious to” and move on to their problems of being “broke” when in reality their parents make a fortune and go on vacation multiple times a year, their school is entirely payed for, they drive a new expensive car and they don’t have to pay any of their own $ for living, while myself only has one parent who makes under the avg amount an average citizen does in Ontario and has to pay it all myself. I don’t want to sound in greatful or anything but I just feel like it’s insulting whenever they talk about how they are broke or when I talk about how I am stressed about bills or money they are like “omg same girl”… same with my depression, whenever I try to speak up about my depression they just say “me too” or leave mid convo because I’m “stressing them “out. I just feel like whatever I say goes in one ear and out the next and I just feel like I always have to prove to them that I actually do struggle. I don’t know… maybe I’m wrong, I don’t know what to even think anymore because I just feel myself dissociating from reality more and more everyday and im scared to return to school because I know they will just think im magically cured or fixed when in reality im just as bad as I was before I left for x mas break:( pls tell me im not crazy? I’m seeking advice too if anyone has advice on how I can speak up without sounding passive. I just can’t take it anymore:(