so my bf and i (20) have been dating for about 9 months now, and I knew he had BPD long before getting together. I've been diagnosed with MDD, but i have had a psychiatrist talk to me about the possibility of being borderline. he's made it clear I'm his fp, and on a very high pedestal and idolizes me very much...sometimes to my discomfort. over the past 5 months or so I've been having a lot of moodswings related to the winter, and sometimes around my period but i'm not always sure i can attribute it to that. we both have full time jobs, but i'm trying to advance in my career and go back to school, but he seems perfectly content with where he is now. except i know he's not. he still lives at home and constantly fights with his parents, sometimes getting incredibly bent out of shape while i'm on the phone with him; even though i've made it clear this is a really big trigger for me. (arguments and loud shouting) it's the same thing every time. "i'm sorry. it's my mental illness. you know i have bpd. it's hard for me to control." but it just seems when i have my mood swings (which YES i know tend to be irrational but mine always circle through the same topics. so maybe they're really bothering me deep down?) it's "c'mon. it isn't such a big deal. you don't need to cry over this. blah blah blah."

don't get me wrong. he's a great guy and i really love him and want to build a future with him, but it's the same argument every couple of weeks, and sometimes i have doubts. i just really want him to want to get better and work on getting better. which...he has made progress on.

I don't know. maybe i'm being insensitive because i was never officially diagnosed and will never know what the inside of what somebody with BPD is like. i would really love some advice because i have an hour to kill before i call him again. (tough love? probably not though...)