All my life video games have been my therapy and relief, but now i see what the fuck is the point in buying video games if my life is still absolute shit with no job, no money having to depend on my parents at 22 years old, no girl, no anything, I have no purpose and i am just here in my house going to my bathroom at night crying my eyes out, tried to slit my wrist but im too much of a fucking pussy to do that, live in my own of damn fantasy's that don't exist having a imaginary girlfriend, imagining i am talented, imagining i am handsome, imagining i am succeeding in life, but no this Pessimistic damn covid virus stopped me in my tracks when i was so fucking close to getting a job, and now i can't even get fucking job due to my dad not wanting anyone to catch covid and get any family in my home sick. Fuck my life, Fuck my shitty choices, and fuck my pathetic extreme social anxiety, depression, and porn issues that makes me feel like a worthless sack of shit. If my life is suppose to just be like this till the end of my days than i would rather die right now. It's like the universe itself trolls me and says 'YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD SUCCEED LOSER, BUT NO YOUR JUST A FUCKING JOKE SO GO FUCK YOURSELF, YOU ARE NOTHING". Also for the people that claim oh girls ain't all that, oh you will get a girl 1 day, how the fuck do you know If your not a virgin yourself that struggle with girls stop giving false hope. It's easy for you to say that when YOU got some pussie so oh ho good for you, but im still a fucking virgin loser. There i needed to let that out.