I feel devastated. He sees me as a monster... I'm so much more broken over our relationship ending than he is. I was in remission for BPD... but after this relationship it's back full throttle. I don't have hate towards him. I still love him. A lot.. and care, but he wants absolutely nothing to do with me. 

I feel broken and i dont know how to heal or even deal. The pain is tearing me apart... i have to see him at school and we're apart of the same discord server. he went offline early today and i kept help but think hes out fucking someone tonight.. we broke up last week. 

thought he was the love of my life :/