Is this a BPD thing or something else? Anyone else have a desperate need for routine especially surrounding people (needing the reliability of seeing someone each week, needing to have days planned out where you see certain people you care about)? 

I'm an anxious and dangerously self destructive mess without routine to see people I care about and have reliable structure where I can count on knowing I have people who care about me. 

Eg I'm in college and everyone I care about is busy and has their own lives; I know that we may still spontaneously meet but the unpredictability has me freaking out that there might be weeks I see nobody I really know and the cycle of "I'm being abandoned" kicks in. I'd much rather have an "every Friday we do this, and every other Saturday we go to this place to catch a movie." Rather than just not knowing when we'll see each other again. Especially when some other people I care about have chances to see each other more often. 

Idk, unpredictability and not really having a reliable structure to count on and people to regularly see always sets me off in a self destructive/emotional way. If I don't have it it's really easy to feel completely unloved and alone I guess? 