Recently had a falling out with what one might call my favourite person which has resulted in no contact. This has happened a few times, sorta feels like it’s our dance unfortunately. I was drunk at the time and ruined everything, I haven’t drank since and it’s been a month which is the longest I’ve been clean in years. I’m the one who went no contact and I feel like an absolute fucking idiot idk there responding cut back a lot and I guess I was just hurt by that even though realistically I deserved it. I work with them which is making everything ten times harder because I leave the shift crying. I just want to fix everything, I feel horrible no matter who I talk to or hangout with I still feel alone. I feel so sad and stupid, I’m really struggling to not hate myself right now. It’s all my fault. I don’t know how to move on from this, I don’t know what I should do, they’ve been the most important person in my life for over a year now and they’re gone. I don’t know why I always ruin the relationships that matter the most to me. Any input or advice would be lovely, sorry if this is a mess.