So back in 2020 around August I was prescribed 20 mg of lovan per day and quickly went up to 60mg my doctor thought it would be best to set me up with an ssri for my anxiety, depression and PTSD first before putting me on an anti psychotic to assist with my BPD after about a month or less on lovan I was then put on Seroquel I don't know the exact dossage other than it was the highest I could have ( after a 3-4 week trial run) 

The first one to three months were fairly great whilst I did get tired I was managing and combined with DBT is it? I felt like I might of been getting better but then month 4+ hit

Month 4 I quit my job and missed just one therapy appointment and never went back and my psychologist leaving the practice just solidified my choice. Month four also was my last ever relapse I believe

Once month 5+ hit I became basically a shell of my former self my memory was almost non existent and I felt almost nothing so whilst it 'cured' my BPD it also got rid of every other aspect of me. The only time I experienced anything was by carefully setting up arguments between people and being an actual piece of shit.

The following months up to the 10th month when I quit are very patchy it's like like having a bubble of information that you know Is there and you know the type of information buy nothing of its contents.

Entire days, weeks and even months just went bye plauged with dissisciation and simply empytneas, everyday I was slumping around music in face buried in my table at school near unconscious my whole existence was pointless I often found myself sitting on rooftops just wondering why don't I? Slowly but surely I drove all my friends away, I just didn't care about them hell I hardly even viewed people as having worth other than biding my time.

Everyday I felt high? Well clearly delirious eventually I just started taking lower doses then I started smoking weed and at the ten month mark June 2021 at just recently turning 16 I dropped the fucking meds switched to weed once a week and worked hard on myself I know can confidently say I'm doing so much better I go to school I work I have friends and whilst my mental disorders have returned and still affect me weed has really helped getting through those times 


So yeah there you have it the story of someone bring prescribed meds at 15 and becoming a corpse