I’ve started a graduate scheme with around 40 other graduates. Most of them did the internship at the company prior (only 3 of us didn’t) so they already know each other quite well already. It’s all been virtual so far but everyone is incredibly outspoken, confident and extroverted.. and I mean everyone. 

I’ve met every grad now and there’s literally not a single person I’ve met that seems introverted, or at least as introverted and shy as me. It just makes me more self conscious and I feel that I don’t fit in. I’ve got in my head so much and I know it’s all my own fault and I’ve put a barrier up where I can’t be myself now because I’m the shy quiet one. 

Everyone is really funny aswell and I just feel I’m not as great as these people, whenever I speak i fumble my words and I have general anxiety and self esteem issues in general. I’ve tried meditating, reading a bunch of books, online counselling but my next step is to get a therapist to see in real life and sort myself out. 

People are so nice but I feel so scared in any group setting which is always the case on zoom, when it’s one on one I feel better and just ask the other person lots of questions but I genuinely feel like such a boring person - I don’t have many hobbies and I am just not as interesting as everyone I’ve met. 

I was a reserve and got the job as someone dropped out so I already don’t feel good enough and I don’t know if I’m right for this job, it requires lots of customer interaction, networking and I don’t know if I can do it. I have been added into the group chats and everyone has been talking for weeks but I haven’t said one thing because I feel it is too late and I feel I have to introduce myself and I feel awkward because I’ve been in the chat for weeks. 

They all seem very close, everyone knows each other’s name and they have lots of banter and had a social event on their internship. They are even planning another night out and an Airbnb which again I couldn’t reply to because people don’t know I’m in the chat. I want to actually get a new number and say that my number wasn’t in the chat and then I can introduce myself and start afresh.. do you understand how crazy I am! 


Some of my friends say that I have time and you only form real relationships over time but everyone seems like one big group (even the other 2 grads are really talkative and fitted right in) and I feel like an outsider. I struggle to open up and I wanted to keep a level of professionalism but everyone is so informal and they want to go clubbing I don’t know how to behave. 

Everything is all my fault and if I could go back and change everything I would but now I feel like I’m stuck in a rut and I’ve become incredibly anxious to even open my mouth. I feel that it’s also started to affect my sleep, I’ve always slept fairly well but these days I continuously wake up in the night and find it hard to go back to sleep and just find myself thinking about work. 


TLDR: started a new job where everyone already knows each other well, comparing myself to all extroverted colleagues, how can I form better relationships