Hello kind stranger,
thank you for taking the time to read my story. I just need to get this off my chest and cant really share with anyone.

I never had any friends. I had some ppl in highschool that backstabbed me. I used to be a shy person when I was younger. Today I joke around with my colleagues. I like bantering them. But i never seem to be able to make friends.
I have gone out of my way (and comfort becausr i never wanna ask people to hang becausd i dont want them to be stuck with me) and out of my comfort zone to try and make friends this year. sadly it has not really worked out.
I broke up with my partner, we were together for almost 6 years. I left my (toxic) family behind and only talk with my sister. 

Of course what you do when you cant find any friends is go online. Every time I think I found someone that actually cares, I get ghosted.

I care too much about the people around me. I always completley count myself out to make other people happier and I dont know how to stop. I meet the people who say they are too nice and they end up stepping over me. Thats how too nice i am.
It sounds pretencious, but being too nice is not a good thing, its not a compliment.

I am tired. I dont even have energy to tear up. I dont have the energy to explain how deep my dissapointment is in the life i've had. 

I know for a fact deep in my heart when I dissapear now there will only be one persone who might shed a tear. My sister, if she wasnt here, I would probably already have faded from excistence.

I just want a friend to love. I have so much compassion and love in my heart for other people, but people dont want me. 

All i do is lay in bed and eat less then ive ever done. I am sometimes forced to get out of bed to work or when my leg hurts so much I need to sit.

I probably should go out more, but im scared. Im an ugly person alone in the city and i never had money to get a license, i will have to rely on public transport.

thank you for plowing through. Just happy to get it out. Maybe one day I will find a friend. 

I hope you have a nice day, truley i do.