I wish I could run away, but in this shitty country I would be forced back into my home, authorities have called her a good mom in front of me even after trlling them what she did to me, and a staff at my school said I can't defend myself against her because "she's a woman"
She treats me like an object, and honestly hearing her screaming at me makes me want to act on my suicidal thoughts, but I'm too scared to hurt myself.
I guess it is difficult for some people to behave like decent human beings.
I'm really trying to be optimistic, unlike other people who keep complaining about how much they want to die in their sleep.
...tonight if I talk back to her maybe she will finally snap and attempt to murder me, wouldn't that be a good thing?
Maybe if I gather up enough courage and tell her how I really feel, then maybe she'll attack me, or better, hurt me enough to kill me so that I'll finally leave this place and I won't be surrounded by pessimists anymore, after all, no one can do anything about my situation.