Both my parents have BPD. But I kinda hate my father because of all the shits he put me into since I’m a child (I am 22). Some traumatic verbal abuse moments, for example. 

Now I know it’s above all things because of the disorder. Today I start to realise that I may also have BPD and Im so scared and I feel bad. 

In fact, I feel a ton of emotions, I’ll try here to speak my mind for the first time... 

First, I hate him so much for who he is as a person, how he acts... I don’t wanna associate the disorder to him, because I’ll start to hate myslef so much if I come to realize that I really have BPD too (Im pretty sure it’s the case). 

I begin to realise that maybe I have BPD because of him. And I think it’s soooo fucked up. But I’ve learn in school (I studied Social work) that patterns are not rare in family histories. so yea. It’s like a circle. 

I try to stay positive by thinking of my mother who is an incredible person who develop the disorder because of her childhood traumas (and on that, I can relate). 


Thank you for reading, sorry english is not my first language! 

 xo