throwaway as my main account is known by my wife. 

I have always been a person with lots of empathy to the point that it was almost empathic that I could pick up emotions from others by hearing their voice or body language I don't try to do it its just comes natural to me to the point it gets overwhelming and I don't know where their emotions end and mine begin and that creates lots of anxiety. 

a few years ago I was diagnosed with chronic anxiety after I tried to kill myself but turned the car around and got my parents to help me get some help and have been working with a therapist ever since. she has helped a lot to stop the self harm planning with Cognitive Behavior Therapy. 

My problem now is that the planet is dying and I have a core belief I can't shake that 2030 will be the last year we know as modern life. I'm not talking end of the world stuff just humans trying to survive not trying to progress all while choking on our own trash.

My current problem is with knowing this for a fact for me and hell I hope it's not true but to me it is. I get focused on everyone living in that future. when I go into stores and see all the junk people are buying the plastic we are eating. I kind of lose it and it disrupts my home life.

in the end what I'm looking for is for a therapist to help me rewire my brain to have less empathy so I can just enjoy the last few years we have left. As shitty as that sounds. I don't want to remove all of it. 

I still donate to the food bank and do the standard reduce and reuse to not add to the problem but we both know if everyone did their part it wouldn't matter that was a lie from big Corp to shift the blame to us. making us belive if everyone did their part we wouldn't be in this mess. meanwhile corps are dumping plastics and pollution so fast our head's would spin.

so since the game is already rigged I would rather enjoy the last few years with my family not morning for the wasted potential of the human race.