Ok this so hard to write , I'm 21 y and I have been with my bf for a year now . I suffer from very severe anxiety and ROCD . My bf is a good looking person and the minute I met him I  was like this guy is hot , everyone around me agreed . Not that all I care about is the look I swear it's not like that . Any we I met him online then I met him in person and my sister and friend met him too and then they started talking shit about like he's beyond average and stuff and this made me so upset I swear I don't know why but it got me so anxious and I start feeling like I myself doesn't find him attractive and that's have to do with the ROCD and then I start making sure if I find him attractive or not and I feel so guiltyyyy I don't know what's going on with me like it's sometimes I tell myself that ppl have preferences and maybe my sister doesn't find him handsome but I do and like that and I really hate the I'm concentrating about the way he look even though he's the most good looking guy I have ever been with all my ex's were not even my type but maybe because at the beginning I took it as an advantage of him that he's handsome and now I feel like it's not real or something idk I really hate what's going on maybe it's all because of my anxiety.  I really need help