It's been 3 months since my ex and I broke up. He emailed me wanting to talk one time for closure. As a brief background it's the most volatile relationship I've ever been in. Thanks to a much better understanding of BPD and many of you on this forum I now view things differently than I did while in the relationship. Having said that there was a consistent theme in the relationship that I'm still struggling to understand. As an example we were taking a two-month break. We both were going to work on our own stuff and see if we wanted to try again in two months. Near the end of that. He broke into my house when I wasn't home and completely trashed it. I mean like bad enough I called the police. I don't mind that he's reached out for closure. But in the email there was something reminiscent of our past. He talked about how I probably don't think I did anything wrong and how it was really fucked up that I didn't reach out to him on his birthday. And this is specifically the question that I have for anyone with BPD. Is it part of BPD, that you do things in a relation that are very hurtful to your partner, then blame the partner? I have no judgment here, just trying to understand. I have read several posts here where the poster mentions feeling unloved, uncared for, etc. But this is what my ex says about me even though I have literally never intentionally hurt him and he has repeatedly done things that are very hurtful then says Im heartless because I break up. Its just so damn confusing. So I'm just wondering if that's part of BPD?