(19F) i went into a drunken episode last night and told my mother abt how badly i wish she had gotten the divorce and how i wish my dad was dead n a whole bunch of awful things. she’s worried abt my alcohol intake cos her father was an alcoholic. i didn’t shut up for like two hours abt how much trauma my dad gave me and it kills me to kno she’s still stuck being manipulated by him. ......turns out he heard everything i had said. and now he wants to talk to me ??? i’m going to my sisters to get away from my home life but idk what to do in general. my mom is sending me back to therapy now and i’m scared they’re going to send me away. they tried to last year so now i’m extra paranoid about it- i feel like my home life just got stable (just less chaotic and no more suicide attempts from my father and i) and now i feel like i’ve wrecked everything we’ve all suppressed since august.