i’ve had trouble with this for a while, just couldn’t really put it into words. i’m only 18, but i’m terrified at how fast time seems to be going. it makes me feel even worse when others mention it, because it means it’s not just in my own head. this realization hit me even harder because i didn’t get a senior year of high school, i just kind of did my own thing for a year, did online school, and boom, i’m an adult. 

i don’t want to grow up, i don’t want to have so many responsibilities. i just get so anxious thinking about it and how fast it happened. i hate recalling memories and thinking “wow it’s already been _____”. i’m not sure if time just feels like it’s moving faster amidst covid, etc, but i hate it. i just feel so panicked when i think about it. 

i ignore it best i can, but it always seems to come up one way or another. i even see people wish time would go by faster ! why would you ever want that? i just want more time. and i hate that i’m spending this time feeling anxious and scared. i want everything to feel normal again.