The more I seemingly get my life together, the more I hate it. I have a job, a partner, a pet. But I just hate life so much more. It doesn't matter what I do, been in therapy for 10 years, tried all kinds of medications. I'm 24 now and half of my life has been just suffering. I used to believe it gets better but I'm convinced that the life I'm expected to live is something that I can't do. So.. it's final. I have to kill myself. I only have to find a way where I don't hurt the ones I love. Maybe if I push them away, make them hate me. I'm not sure how yet. But I think... I finally know I have to do it.