My whole journey of depression and severe anxiety is literally a perpetual Cycle of me being determined to not let shit get to me, not being able to control life, making changes to life to keep me fighting and going and then it all getting on top of me again until it feels like my insides wanna just fall out...you know that awful twisted feeling in the core of your body like you could just stop breathing all together if you gave In?!?

I can't break the fucking cycle and with each full circle of it I have less and less fight for the next which makes me feel like one day I'll lose my fight completely.

Drugs are shit, mental health support in the UK is shit. 

I live to work a job i hate and I fight to "appreciate'l" the little things which whilst they do bring me joy I know deep down they're not enough. 

I'm at the end of a cycle again with a job I'm currently in, waiting it out for something better as usual but I feel the need to ask for reasonable adjustments before I just call in sick all the time, but I'm technically still on probation (26 weeks probation is bullshit!) 

Just a rant really...UGHHHH