I don't know how to deal with the fact that the first person I've been vulnerable &amp; been in love with in over 5 years left me because my mental issues because too much for her to handle.  
Yeah I can't fault her for that because she has to look out for herself first but why did I bother trying to actually find love with my issues is what I keep beating myself up about, I know it gets too much for my friends so why on earth did I think it would be different in a romantic relationship, I guess I was "blinded by love"  
I just don't know what next for me now with all this baggage...