I'll be 27 this year and I haven't done much with my life. I'm only just now doing the basic things that are expected of an adult.  I have lost several of the most valuable years of my life paying for the poor choices I made at 17.

I look around me and see others my age living their lives and collecting experiences,  moving forward and building relationships.  In contrast, I am alone and without desire to live day to day. I don't enjoy being alive and nothing brings me lasting joy. 

A couple nights ago I was waiting for an elevator, and 3 people my age were in it. They hugged each other good bye and told one another I love you. I felt very sad in that moment because I felt exposed and alone.  I felt small,  silly and lonely.  I have never had that kind of experience or friendship. 

Compared to others my age,  I am a small child with nothing to show for my time here.  I have failed in every area of life and I do not deserve to participate in the world