**Trigger warnings - I’m honestly not entirely sure what is or isn’t considered a trigger, but pregnancy loss is included.

I have been pushing anxiety to the side for well over a year now, if not my whole life. I’m someone who naturally wears their heart on their sleeve, and several people have mentioned it. It has become a problem in my very solid relationship that needs to be addressed, in order to keep my relationship solid.

Last night I had a nocturnal panic attack while home alone, during a nap. I had never experienced such a thing before - I ended up calling 911 because my heart rate was so high. They came and couldn’t get my heart rate down, so I went to the hospital. I am otherwise very healthy, so I feel a little ridiculous now that I did the whole 911 thing. However, everyone in my life has assured me that they’re glad I did it.

I’m at the point where I’ve made an appointment with a doctor to be prescribed something for this going forward. I have nothing against medication; I was just putting it off. The panic attack sealed the deal though and essentially forced me to make this appointment.

I had a miscarriage recently and I thought by just going back to life as normal, I’d be fine. The EMT told me her pregnancy loss story though and I was crying in the ambulance. It made me realize that I’m not ok, and how serious this stuff is. My heart goes out to anyone else going though it.