So I get these days (most days) where I feel lonely.. I wish I had more friends etc 
So I end up speaking to a couple of people, 
It goes well, a lot of back &amp; forth. Then I just cut off. I lose the motivation for a stable consistent connection. I delete my social media’s (they’ve been deleted for a while now) and I convince myself I’m better off alone. I can handle myself. I don’t need good company. I only need myself. 
Then the need for a connection creeps back.. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here.. but then I go on to wanting friends then off again then on/off, on/off 
Jesus Christ make up your damn mind already..