i’m 17f and i’ve been having trouble sleeping for the past 2 weeks due to anxiety and racing thoughts, if i do fall asleep i wake up around 2-4am and then i can’t sleep at all, other times i simply don’t sleep until 7am and then i wake up at 10. im exhausted. this year has been terrible in general and i’ve been extremely lonely, i guess i had so many pent up feelings and they all exploded this month. i also have seasonal depression in fall and it gets really bad during october especially, and then goes away in december. due to all of this i’ve been dissociating a lot and it’s terrifying, i’m scared of "going crazy", and i keep having panic attacks. so now because i can’t sleep, i’m anxious before bed in fear of not being able to sleep and that keeps me awake, then i have anxiety basically all day long the next day. 

i’m simply terrified and i don’t know what to do, i’ll try changing my lifestyle habits, get into sports and clubs to make friends and stuff because i lost them all because of anxiety this year, so then i at least won’t be so lonely. but this is so scary and my therapist is so full and getting a session takes months. i do have pills that she gave me but they don’t help much and leave me feeling weird so i don’t take them. my mom is also tired of all of this because she has been with me for hours every night because of my panic attacks.