I was diagnosed with manic depression and schitzophenia 2 years after smoking weed when i turned 19. now when i smoke weed i get super parinoid, hear shit, see shit, and just have the most crazy intrusive thoughts ever. for example the crazier thoughts lie between my brain trying to convince me im going to hell or that i am satin and one time i was thinking of burning myself in oil.  
But me dumb ass still wants to smoke weed. i try to resist and i have for the last months but last night i couldnt stop myself and smoked weed. at first i felt good for like 1 minute then the paranoia came in. Since i expected that to happen it didnt catch me of guard too much and my goal was just to remind myself that It is the drug 1, and 2 i just overall tried to dismiss any weird shit my thoughts came up with. Well going through that last night certainly made me less depressed this morning. I appeciate life right now more right now. Lately ive been in the idc about life phase life sucks, i want to die. but sheesh going through that bad trip making me feel like shit life aint that bad. Could be worse. Im just happy im at peace right. But seriously Im grateful i didnt lose my mind completely. weeds been very dangerous for me. You guys have no idea.