The constant paranoia, fear of abandonment, obsessing over others then hating them on a dime... the anxiety and depression, the panic attacks. No drugs seem to help to get rid of these thoughts (although antispychotics scare me too much to try and my doc refuses ADHD medication).

Like the only thing that feels real to me is aggressive hip hop music from artists like Tupac, Eminem who are bluntly honest about how fucked up their minds are. I definitely think Eminem suffers from BPD, and it wouldn't surprise me if Tupac fought it either with his severe paranoia and how he turned on people quickly. DMX is also someone who can get through to me, and also someone who has had a tumultous personal life.