hi everyone, im sorry if this is a stupid question and i hope it doesnt come off as offensive or harmful to anyone in any way, it wasnt my intention at all

i havent been diagnosed with bpd or anything like that, but since early this year ive found myself relating terribly to many bpd symptoms, along with posts ive read of people with it
and while its not something i officially have, ive been seeking lots of comfort in posts directed towards people w/ bpd because i feel understood.

but one of the few symptoms i dont particularly relate to is self harm, which i know ppl w/ bpd have a tendency to do, 
but i dont self harm

i never have, though attempted to attempt to once (if that makes sense lol) but didnt go through with it because im simply a coward. the same applies to suicide; i wish i wasnt such a coward because i hate being alive and i wish i had the courage to end it, but i know theres so many consequences to it and burdens that ill leave with others and i dont feel worth all that
i am a big hypocrite though because its only cowardice when its me- anyone else whos struggling but still here despite it, you are so brave and strong and im glad youre here

and worth mentioning i think- i did bring up very briefly that i felt i may have had bpd to my therapist but she dismissed it immediately and said its impossible i have it simply because i brought it up, which makes me aware and ppl with bpd arent aware of it, and that what i feel is just my anxious attachment instead. so yeah, 
i doubt ill ever get a bpd diagnosis, i probably dont have it and im just attention seeking for diagnoses but i guess hypothetically, as the title says, do i have to self harm to fit the criteria? thank you in advance to anyone whos willing to listen/answer