Hi, i am 16 years old and have been struggling with mental illness for 6-7 years now. I live in the UK.

Therapy/ background overview (Please skip if its not needed)

Initally i went to the doctors about my 'depression' when i started secondary school and they recommended family therapy... for some fuckin reason... it didnt work anyway and made things worse.
I started one on one therapy in my early teens after a suprising and unexpected talk with my school about my suicide ideation and threats. I have finished that the end of last year. i felt like i had got better and i wanted to be more independent in my recovery - i also got stressed and very tired of speaking about myself for a whole hour and it made me angry. 
On top of that I tried a cbt group therapy for young people and it helped for a bit but it was only an 8 week programme.

actual question: 

Now the thing is, i feel like im going absolutely crazy. I have been trying to save myself, recover, and get better so many times now and it does not work long term. Instead i feel like i have got worse over the years and EVERYTHING is out of my control.

I try and get better and EVERY TIME i find a way to self sabotage myself and make things go horribly wrong. 

I cant move in my sports activites without feeling in pain due to self harm, over the years it has turned to an addiction, I cant eat like a normal person and havent been able to since i was 11 - been binging and starving, gaining weight, and losing too much within my disordered eating. I get more psychotic breakdowns now, I flare up and get angry at people, my depressions disable me to the point of giving up on everything.

I feel emotions way too strongly or not at all and im scared and anxious all the time. I think people are plotting to kill me or are trying to make me commit suicide and also I have had hallucinations in the past.

I feel like everything is going to shit and no matter what i do i will never, really, truly get better and recover. All this is making me incredibly distressed and on top of that i have my school gcse exams soon and i am not a good student at all, mostly getting below average on everything except the arts.
I have been having suicidal thoughts on and off for most of my life and they mostly occur suddenely when i have breakdowns.

I feel like im crazy or losing my mind.

Things never used to be this bad, i did therapy and tried to be healthier so why are things becoming worse???

I am finding it difficult to stay alive but I think I can do it.

So what i am asking is, has anyone else been in the same position, is there a way to get help, and do you have any advice on this? Should i restart therapy even if I dont like it?

My therapist said I have bipolar tendencies however I am undiagnosed but I hope that does not invalidate any of my experiences for you as they have been very real for me.

Thank you so much for your time in reading this, I apologise for being so negative, im usually a very positive person but am suffering a lot recently. I dont really post anything on this app usually so this is a big step haha... I would really appreciate any tips or anything like that. Feel free to ask questions. I hope everyone is doing awesome. ❤❤❤

How do i get out of this downwards spiral and addiction to self sabotage?