Maybe I’m too sensitive about it but I think it’s awful to call people “sick” when they have any mental health concern. I think it’s an outdated term and it cheapens the desire to get better because being “sick” means you‘be lost autonomy in some way. It’s an assumption that you don’t have any control but that everything is still your fault. It feels like an unfair paradox.

I hate my mom. That’s never going to change. And I wish I could live harmoniously with her but I can’t, so when I do leave here in the next few weeks she will never see me or her grandson again. 

I argue with her because the simple fact that she exists in space bothers me. I shouldn’t be considered “sick” when I bring up the abuses she inflicted upon me and she feels like gaslighting me about it. It’s “sick” that it happened but I am not “sick” for remembering. That alone is offensive to anyone who has been traumatized. 

I have been texting a crisis hotline for a few minutes and I calmed down but I can’t help but feel like if I could just disappear, everything would be fixed. And I don’t mean by dying I just mean that if I won the lottery and could buy an island and just... go away. 

I don’t want to be considered sick in the head. And I don’t want my parents, who are not unqualified individuals, diagnosing me based on a “book they read.” That’s not fair.