For years, I held my emotions in. I never showed any major emotions for the longest time. I recently started to cry and have breakdowns almost nightly. I haven’t cried like this in a few years.

I guess loneliness has really started hitting me hard lately. I see all these people in happy relationships, and then, it hits me. In my 18 years of existence, I’ve never had a romantic partner, and what makes it even worse is that I was so close to one 3 times, and each time was really bad timing somehow.

At this point, I’ve given up looking. I mean yeah, I still have romantic feelings, but I just don’t pursue anything anymore because I know how unlucky I am. If somebody ends up admitting to having a crush on me then, I’ll be their partner, but again, I’m gonna stop pursuing relationships because of how unlucky I’ve been.