throwaway account btw, dont mind it

I got a new friend from reddit a few weeks ago and they’re so amazing. Completely obsessing over them. 

I’m really struggling though, the one day I’m completely obsessing over them and imagining myself traveling across the world to meet them and hang out with them, and the next day I’m terrified of them hating me or getting sick of me, so I just push them away. 

I feel really bad but I don’t really want to tell someone I have talked to for a few weeks that I am obsessed with them and terrified of them leaving me, lol.
Not really asking for advice, just a vent