For the longest time, before I finished DBT treatment and started a healthy relationship w/ my current SO, I was so used to intensity- everything from emotions to relationships. Now that I actually am coping really well, taking my meds, seeing my therapist regularly- I actually feel..okay. I don’t feel extremely excited or hyper nor super depressed. It feels abnormal in a weird way and it makes me uncomfortable. I’m basically self-sabotaging bc I hate feeling okay. Sometimes I’m fine with it and enjoy it but other times, it’s too uncomfortable and I purposefully trigger myself to feel that intensity. It’s almost like a weird high. 
Just something that I wanted to get off my chest. Although I hope none of you guys go through this, it’d also be a bit comforting knowing I’m not alone