So i am a student in the UK remote learning from home, and my workload has decreased significantly since online learning (i don't REALLY have to attend my zoom lectures as long as i catch up on them when it suits me). I dropped out of uni last year after a suicide attempt and restarted uni this year as i figured with covid itd be a gentler start. Since exams are online, i dont need to revise/remember as much, just have organised notes. So i only really study for 2-3 hours a day. My student loan covers my few expenses nicely, but i should be saving for the future. 



The problem is, i cant get the motivation to do anything. I feel like i should be using all my spare time to earn money but i hate working so much that id happily have no income if it meant i wasn't subjected to hours of panic every week. The last time i was employed i was so anxious that i had to quit because i couldn't stop being sick (my dad had just died which probably triggered this). I think ive overcome the sickness now, but the anxiety is still there. 


I find it really hard to have anxiety friendly jobs. Im stuck in my hometown and the only jobs going are support workers, care assistants and customer jobs. These are all so customer focused, and ive had my confidence ruined in a shop job before when my managers were constantly having a go at me for not being 'bubbly'. As a result, im terrified of interacting with managers/bosses and this makes the process of getting a job so much harder. Ive never had much money, but an extra £120 a week just doesn't feel worth the stress. Ive spent lockdown experimenting with freelance ideas, but i dont have any marketable skills, and the skills i do have are so oversaturated thanks to covid making everyone do the same. 


Tldr; I feel so guilty for not working but i just cant get the motivation to work, especially when i know how much stress even simple cleaning jobs cause me. When i work, i spend all my days off worrying about work and when im at work, my body is in constant panic mode resulting in me constantly being exhausted. Is anyone in a similar situation or have any advice?