i’m tired and i can’t live this empty life, running from a ball of stress and anxiety and emptiness that has only been suppressed and never been resolved. 

every year is the same. 

i’m 22 but i’m stuck emotionally in the same place I was at 13. except my heart is hardened now. i haven’t felt okay or felt joy (unless i was high on caffeine or drugs) in 10 years.

 i want to break free but i’m too scared. 

I haven’t felt anything but constant anxiety for 10 years. 

I don’t want to keep posting here. I want to get better. 

I haven’t left the house much in 2 months. I’m stuck here in the suburbs, where I was abused for being myself as a kid here. 

I have no real friends or healthy relationships. 


I’m emotionally, physically, spiritually bankrupt. I’m too tired. 

I’m drifting away, disassociating in this bath tub, hoping that I’ll drown or find relief from the scress in the scolding hot water. It never works. 

I can’t do this anymore. I’m a victim to my minds impulses, and I’ve never broken out of that.