Hello all, I have been in treatment for mental illness for over 20 years. Until today I have never considered that I may have done anything other than the right thing in seeking treatment.

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I have a wonderful 7 year old son whose mother is not so wonderful. A little over a year ago I experienced a bout of severe depression and needed a brief hospitalization. Upon hearing of this, my ex-wife decided to use it as an opportunity to feed her vindictiveness (this is the only possible conclusion regarding her reasoning that I can come to) and petitioned family court to restrict my visitation, citing a "suicide attempt" and her concern for the safety of our child. This was not a suicide attempt, but apparently in the eyes of the court this doesn't matter. The family court referee decided to err on the side of caution and restrict and supervise my visits. 

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My son doesn't understand what's going on and blames himself like most children do, thinking that he did something wrong which causes me to not want to see him as much.

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According to my court-ordered, overburdened attorney who shares the attitude of mental illness stigmatization, once the court saw that I had a long history of treatment and hospitalizations, a long list of medications and diagnoses, and my own admittance to having struggled with mental illness in the past and present, they are being more "cautious" with this case than they would that of a sex offender or convicted felon. This all based on the simple presence and history of mental illness.

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This leaves me having no choice but to wonder "had I not sought treatment or admitted to needing help, I would most likely not be in this predicament". This is the first time in my life that I have felt this way, as I have been fortunate enough to have not encountered much stigma in the past. I know consciously that had I never sought out treatment or asked for help that I would most likely be dead, and that if I ever get to a dark place emotionally where I do need more help or perhaps hospitalization that I absolutely must do so to save my life. But now I am filled with fear and doubt regarding my treatment in the past, present, and future because of how I will be punished in the family court system for it.

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This is a perfect example of how the stigma around mental illness ***kills people.***

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I do not have much in the way of financial resources so I can't afford to hire an attorney that will help me attack this stigma within the court system, but I would not wish a similar situation upon my worst enemy. The worst part of all this is that this is a government institution demonstrating clear bias against the mentally ill, and certainly not an impartial jurist.

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Does anyone know any mental health advocacy groups that can help me take a step towards removing the stigma surrounding mental illness in our supposedly enlightened society? I am aware of NAMI of course, but I was more specifically referring to an attorney or group of attorneys that may be willing to help me at no charge just for the sake of the cause?

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I am feeling pretty hopeless in this errand, so I'm doing what had (until now) worked for me: to ask for help. Even though asking for help contributed a great deal towards landing me in this situation, I have enough real-life experience in doing so that I still believe in it.

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P.S.: This is Queens County family court in NY state.