I am a 26 year old male, turning 27 in two months. It's been three years since I had a job, and before that it was another two. I've only worked one job longer than a year and that was only barely. I have mainly worked in coffee shops with a couple other retail/food service type stuff.

I found this sub about a week ago and everything seems to just fit. I told a story in a different thread about how I quit my job once because I gave somebody the wrong pastry and then broke down in tears. The rapid changes between being completely committed to someone one minute and then trying to find reasons to ever talk to them again because they did something mildly annoying. Feeling like a sponge who just absorbs other people's personalities without ever contributing anything.

*This was a gigantic wall of text/stream-of-consciousness. It felt really good to write it out, but it's not directly relevant. I'm going to move it to a comment below. tl;dr is that I've had a series of customer service type jobs with gaps in between and dropped out of college 3 times. Then I was going to kill myself but chickened out and after a hospital stay moved back in with my dad.*

I gained 80 pounds the first year of just staying home and am now noticeably obese. I'm embarrassed to leave my house and my clothes are mostly ill-fitting. I have no friends from any phases of my life except for a few people I met online through gaming and they're not really close friends as much as gaming buddies. I no longer have a car and biking isn't really an option, so getting a job would be difficult. I have no insurance, so  I can't seek treatment or medication.

I've considered committing some sort of crime just to have the structured environment of prison. The military is out of the question for a number of reasons.

I know it's unfair to ask random strangers on the internet how to live my life, but I'm really at a loss. I've dug myself so far into this hole that I don't know how to even start getting out.

Any advice, especially guidance on what research I need to do, would be greatly appreciated.