Just needed to vent a little, I've not felt up to much for a while now. Lost a friend back in March suddenly and lost my love of streaming right along with it. Spent the last few months full of anxiety because of it, and other things. Started therapy but they're still refusing to officially diagnose so doing CBT again, I keep going from hopeful to hopeless.

The only thing that keeps me from disappearing completely are my partner, my dogs and a few people I'm fortunate enough to call friend. 

My partner just got a new job which means our situation will hopefully begin to improve but it means I'll be spending a lot of time alone (for the first time in years) which makes me worried I'll resort to doing nothing except trying to overload my senses to stop my mind wandering.

I'm just tired of the endless rollercoaster, what I wouldn't give for just a day where I didn't feel so much.