Long story short, I went out to an event for the third week in a row, embarrassed myself several times with some really awkward social skills, and failed to really feel like I was having fun. I'm super afraid of going back again because I don't want to face the people I embarrassed myself in front of, but I also feel like I can't give up because I don't really know anywhere else to meet people.

Everyone keeps telling me: just go out, try x, y, and z, but every time I try, I just stumble through conversations and then go home feeling like garbage.

I'm not sure if it's just going to take time to develop social skills after being very shy and reclusive most of my life, or if I should just stick to staying home alone where I might feel a little lonely but certainly less likely to embarrass myself.