I hate them. everytime I have one, they turn into my fp, and all of a sudden my entire world revolves around them. they say when the sun rises, their message determines when i sleep, their slight change in demeanor is like a horoscope for the rest of my day. i overthink every interaction with them but i’m still craving for more. butterflies? i wish. a stampede of buffalos is more like it. I absolutely breakdown when they start breaking away, then i convince myself I hate them and that they’re the embodiment of the devil reincarnated. but then, they come back after the other connection doesn’t work out, and i’m right back on the ground licking their fucking shoes, and they know it too. I don’t want any more crushes. I don’t need the anxiety. I don’t need the fear. I don’t need the excessive worrying. I don’t need it. I don’t want it. no more crushes. I want emotional stability. I want to be happy with myself, by myself. I wish I could be my own fp. I don’t know if this is enough words.