I can hardly eat, I can hardly get out of bed in the morning. I put on this charade that I'm fine and that nothing is wrong, but deep down everything is wrong. I'm supposed to embe strong for my fiance and our son. I'm supposed to be happy when I see a guest at work. I'm supposed to seem like my life is great when I talk to family or friends. I'm really just a wasted being walking around wasting resources that could be used to do actual good. Most of the time I'm in my head about every little thing that goes on. Lately the voices have been growing louder. Telling me how much of a waste and a fuck up I am. The longer I sit here, the louder everything is. I always want to help other people but can't seem to help myself. I try to help one way and get hurt or walked on another way. I don't know why I'm even writing this, its not like anyone will ever see it. Even if someone does it won't change anything. Everyone will still look down on me like I mean nothing and say that I'm doing something wrong and that I need to fix what I'm doing. I will try to fix what I'm doing and will mess something else up. Why do I even try anymore.