It seems like they're marketed for people in relationships,  who are financially stable, and are happy with their life choices..
   I don't really have that luxury,  i stopped drinking and picked up smoking as a less detrimental crutch to dampen my existential dread and muttle my thoughts of my past fuck ups.
  Days like today make me think about what i miss about relationships.. i miss the comfortable silences, the way nothing else matter but the moment, physical affection. 
   I just don't have the emotional energy to invest anymore, i feel depleted and numb and honestly unworthy of receiving anything that comforting. I'm alone, and i feel like i deserve it, and even if i didn't,  i don't have the strength to get out of this one. I'm just lost, man. I've left the house maybe 7 or 8 times since july, as the days pass, it just feels like the world is moving along without me. Idk... i just needed to scream into the void before i smoke... fuck....