After getting the role I applied for I start to get really shy around my manager/boss. I can’t make eye contact, get tense and can not think straight around them.

Also I get really really depressed/suicidal if I make the ‘ smallest’mistake(according to the others at least, for me no mistake is small) or notice they don’t like me (a lot of times people told me it is in my head)

My therapist told me it was highly because I had no parental figures to look up to during growing up and was always scared to make a mistake which would end up in verbal abuse/abandonment by parents.

How do I get rid of this unhealthy situation? Until I get hired I am really cheerful and relaxed around them and they think I am great but once he/she becomes an authority figure I start to go down the spiral. 