I’ve been having a bad month. Ended up in the hospital, diagnosed with borderline (after a year of thinking I had and being medicated for bipolar disorder).

I’ve been dating this wonderful guy for three or so months. He was the one who took me to the hospital. Now he’s gone. Said we both need to work on ourselves. But he also said, before breaking up with me, that he is unsure if he has feelings for his friend/acting partner.

I feel like someone just beat me up. I’ve gone through heartbreak before but I’ve never loved someone as much as I loved him. I’m so confused. My therapist is out of town. I talked to my family but I already have a rocky relationship with them. I’m sitting in silence in my apartment, trying to ground myself.

My two cats are the only things keeping me alive at this point. I don’t know what to do. I just want love but I can never do things right do deserve it.