Hey all! Having a really rough day. I don’t want to write an entire essay but [Here’s](https://reddit.com/r/BPD/comments/d4p3en/my_girlfriend_is_leaving_because_of_my_bpd_but/) some context from a year ago. 

I haven’t begun to spiral out yet so I’m gonna try to ride some of the worst by doing some errands(a run, laundry, pay some bills, and record some demos for my band) *but* Id love to schedule a video chat to vent and shoot the shit with some fellow BPD’ers. 

If anyone is interested please let me know in the comments and I’ll set it up. I figure something like to start at 7-8ish EST? 

For those willing to read some more VERY(aka there’s like 9 months worth more that all comes into play) recent context, here it is:

Obviously a TON has happened since but she’s still here. I tried kicking her out two months ago but allowed her to come back home after a week of absence so she could have a better environment to figure her things out. I gave her two weeks and she’s still here two months later. 

To make things easier she suggested we keep things as if they were normal and I agreed(stupid I know) because I live in a studio and the tension would be too difficult and didn’t want to kick her out with a minimum wage job, non-supportive parents, and not being able to afford a place she needs because she has a 7 year old son(not mine, no father in picture, and lives with grandma/grandpa). 

I made a comment about our sex lives last night and immediately dropped it. I still felt frustrated over it in the morning and mentioned it and it triggered a whole thing. She said she can’t have sex with me anymore because I don’t want to be with her(there was barely any to begin with. Bout once every week or two. Been like this since January) A few more things were said before she left to work including calling me selfish :/ 

No mention of her leaving. She’s made absolutely NO plans for a place to live or any jobs since she graduated college in December, almost 4 months before lockdown and 6 months before our breakup. 

I don’t want to kick her out again. I want her to leave on her own and spare me the guilt. She’s going to go hang out with friends today so won’t be getting back home till 2-3am 

So yeah, not feeling to hot.