Hi I’m new about learning bpd. I’ve been suffering for years now and the patterns via mistakes are the same. 
Basically, I need to know if it’s normal to crave for a rush of anxiety/adrenaline rush. Not just on some days either, but every. Single. Day. 
Let’s say it’s not an addiction itself either, rather, just trying to fill a void or to feel okay. 
No matter how HARD I try to not get myself in risky/hurtful behavior, 
one day I just get tired and let my mind take over. (Healthy habits barely help.) 
I’ve tried to just ignore it and eat sweets and indulge in other unhealthy behavior such as wh*ck off, yet that isn’t risky enough now is it? 
I’ve been showing plenty other signs of bpd too but I’ll elaborate if asked. Thanks!