Apologies right from the start if this becomes a bit of a ramble. 

I [M18] have been struggling with my mental health for all of my teenage years. I have been depressed for as long as I can remember after experiencing trauma in my childhood. 

I’ve struggled to get mental health help every time have seemed it out. I repeatedly went to my GP about constant low moods and suicidal thoughts. It genuinely felt like they have not taken me seriously every time I have begged for some sort of help. After attempting suicide at 13, I was in therapy for a year and a half. It did not help at all, I only learnt to mask it better if I’m being totally honest.

For the last 6 months I have been struggling particularly bad, and my suicidal thoughts have returned again and a lot worse than I can remember. I have seen my GP multiple times and have since lost all hope in them taking me seriously at all. I received a comment suggesting it was just puberty hormones ( even if this was the case, surely it still warrants help?) whilst it seemed as if they were refusing to believe I was truly depressed, in particular they refused to use the terms depression or feeling depressed, instead using low mood (this may be a completely normal thing I’m unaware of, but with my experiences so far with the GP this is how it’s come across.) I asked about being referred for mental health treatment but got turned away and was given other free services, which I stated I had already tried and gotten no results with. 

There isn’t any mental health service I can refer myself to that is within reasonable travelling distance. I do not have the money for public transport and do not drive. And I have had zero luck trying for my GP to refer me to any closer service to me. I also cannot afford any private services.

I have no clue what to do. My mental health is at a rock bottom. I am having suicidal thoughts again and I feel completely lost.  Is there a way I can make my GP grasp the seriousness of my problems? Is there any service I can reach out to that will help? Do I just have to wait until I eventually attempt suicide again to actually have to receive mental health treatment?