My dad cut off my home internet because I’ve spent too much time lying in bed. I am so burnt out, though, that I really need a break. I’ve been gaining weight this past month after several months where my weight leveled out. I don’t really know how the world works but it seems different from the kind of society I lived in up until I got psychosis. How do you decide who goes to Heaven and who goes to Hell when you don’t really know about either. It’s raining today so I can’t work out. I feel like being a good person is kind of an arbitrary thing and you can’t define a person based only on that. My mind keeps obsessing that I need to help this person I don’t know very well. I don’t want to be involved since I don’t know people’s stories and I don’t know what the right thing to do is or what I’m even doing on planet earth. I feel like, as usual, nobody gives me a proper explanation but just react strongly to every small thing I do or say. I feel like days turned to months turned to years yet I’m still in the same place.