I’ve had moderate depression all my life and thankfully I’ve rarely been suicidal and no longer self harm but it’s definitely impacted my life. I’m on meds that seem to be working as I almost feel like myself again but I still struggle with lack of energy, motivation, and passion. For me the hardest part is just starting anything but I’m still managing. Last year I lost a good friend to suicide and it was totally unexpected and hit very hard. Every sunday (the day they passed) I get uncontrollably sad and miserable and cry my heart out and sometimes I get drunk but other than that I am managing life. My best friend recently opened up about their struggle (I knew they were sad sometimes but not to this extent) and they’re very much struggling with suicidal thoughts, self harm, and really depression and anxiety. They say they feel like a dead man walking and that every action feels like their last (f.e. last dinner, last movie, ect.) and that everything is just so fucking exhausting. That they don’t belong anywhere, a burden nobody knows what to with, they don’t care about anything, they nonstop make every single possible mistake they can, that no one really understands and they can’t stop crying. I’ve made and brought them a little care package with food, books, a facemask, chocolate, and flowers but I don’t know what else to do. When I’m in crisis the only thing I want is just for somebody else to be there and I get that everyone is different but if they don’t want me there what can I fucking do?? I love them so incredibly much and can’t imagine my life without them and honestly I can’t lose anyone else or I’m not going to make it either. I’m just at a loss of what to do because I don’t have that much energy either and I can manage to do like a care package every now and then but I’m not fucking able to call/game/text 24/7. I’d move mountains for my friends but like I can’t hold them back for a long time. The most important thing when somebody is struggling I think is that when everybody says they care about you that they continue to back that up so it’s not just a one time “oh they’re not so good so I’ll send them a card.” Like I think a sustained effort or something is necessary but I’m not able to do that due to my own struggles. I wish I could go around and slap the sadness out of everyone but that’s not how it fucking works. Any advice for how to be there for them or what would help you the most when you’re in crisis would be appreciated. I really want to help and be there for them and I’m always ready to pick up their call but I’m not able to be on high alert 24/7 and I am struggling with my other things like classwork and even just managing my other relationships and like in a way I guess I’m okay with ruining my life if it keeps them alive but that is not the ideal situation!!! Any advice or just descriptions of what people did for you or what you wish they did would help. It fucking sucks. Everybody is so incredibly depressed and college is not worth it if it ruins your mental health and I get that it’s not just college but goddamn.