For the first time in my life I am living away from my abusive family, I am now realizing I have no identity. My entire existence was trauma induced, I am so self destructive and I never realized it. I ruined so many good things in my life and I have no motivation to work on anything because I never see it getting better. I have spent my entire life being abused and learning how to cope with it and it put me at a huge disadvantage now I have to do twice the work people my age work and I'll still be behind. My therapist is extremely invalidating and I feel like I have to prove to her that Im depressed when Im literally between life and death. It might be me though, I am too sensitive thats how I've been labelled by narcissists in my life for so long that it became who I am. Therapy is only making me worse. I'm so tired of everything. Im guilty all the time, in so much pain, and worst of all drowning in loneliness. I wish my life would end.