I think I have BPD and my boyfriend believes he has autism - we are both after a diagnosis. We've been together for 8 months and our relationship has never been perfect. I never really felt a connection with him, ever. He doesn't get intimate with me, is never vulnerable or emotional or affectionate or considerate. We've had so many talks about the issues we are having but nothings helping. I feel so alone, abandoned and neglected. He's never been here for me , not when I'm going through an episode or when I feel happy. He doesn't talk about his feelings towards me, our future , hobbies or anything. The one time he was emotional was when he talked to the girl he used to date for a short while a year ago, after he realised he might be autistic. That was a week ago and he hasn't been intimate with me emotionally since, or ever. He picked a girl he isn't even in a relationship with. 

He's my fp and he means so much to me but it's killing me mentally that he's blind to my needs. I know it's hard for him and I'm trying to support him but I'm plagued by the thoughts that the last 8 months of my life have been wasted with someone who could never be here for me. I can't leave him because we live together, I have nowhere to go, we have a cat, I'm a student etc. I don't know if I truly love him because there's no connection between us. We don't go on dates, he doesn't plan surprises for me, nothing that couples do. I'm so lost and sad it feels like being left except he's still here but not really. It's really making me act up lately and it's harder to control my emotions. 

I'm so exhausted I have no idea what to do. I want to make this work between us but I'm so desperate I need help