Back in like late September, I finally told my dad i wanted to seek a professional. I told him that I want to try and get a diagnosis, then from there maybe get prescribed a medication and get a therapist of my own. I’ve so shitty for so long but I only brought it up now because he has also told me he’s getting help and that I can tell him anything. Fast forwards to like a month, I’ve heard nothing and so I work up the courage to ask him about it again. He says he didn’t know what system I wanted to go through (the state or the VA) so I tell him and he says he’ll make a call. 

Nothing. I know it takes a while for things like this to go through and I’m extremely privileged to even be able to go through this process but to just have to wait, when I know I’m in a horrible place mentally. I have terrible mood swings, I let things that aren’t going to matter next week effect me and how I function.

I want to ask my dad again but I don’t want to be a burden.  He sends me podcasts, articles, all these things that I don’t want. I’m sorry if that’s mean but I can’t take it anymore . I wish he stopped acting like he knew what I am going through because he doesn’t. He doesn’t understand how fucking shitty I feel on a daily basis, about myself, how I act, why I can’t talk to people easily. I’m so tired.