I decided to write on here after these past months of a battle with anxiety. I (f26) had my first anxiety symptoms when I was in high school, freshmen year. I remember feeling really weird, like shortens of breathe. That was the only thing. I feel as if I got it going into high school. A “big” change type of thing. I remember texting my mom and telling her I couldn’t breathe and if she can pick me up. I remember this happening just for a week. I remember going to the doctors and me explain to him what was I feeling. So  that is when I first discovered anxiety. I could tell you after the doctor explained what is and what I could, really changed. I have always been athletic. I played soccer. I was always training. I played on three teams. Don’t ask how I just remember doing all three teams. So I didn’t have a big battle with anxiety, I learned to ignore. It was like I had a switch in my brain where my anxiety would knock on my door and I would just close the damn door on it. I overcame it and it was nothing to me. I chose to not pay attention to. I could tell you I only felt it when I didn’t get enough sleep, but that was it. I only knew like first level of anxiety I could say.
Let me tell you something…
I won’t ever take anxiety as something little
This past year has been the most hardest thing in my life to try to overcome this shit. Covid did not scare me for shit because I didn’t want that type of stuff to get to me. I treated it as if any other sickness and things were going to be fine. I just didn’t want to freak out and let it get to me. Covid didn’t get to me but man the stress…
The stress turned into a monster, really…
I had my baby girl 3 years ago and I honestly wished I didn’t get PPD. Which that sucks because after birth I was check at 6 weeks and that was it. They need to do a better job about mother’s who give birth because I didn’t start feeling PPD after 3 months. Well with that I have never felt so over protected and turned into a bear. That put a lot of stress on me…
With that I wasn’t “cured” so it lead to stressful stuff at home. I lived with my boyfriend and his family. Word of advice:GET YOUR OWN PLACE! DONT MOVE IN WITH YOUR IN LAWS.
So many things happen at the house till we bought our own in March of 2020. The problems still came to our place. Man….my stress level was so high, staying home made it worst because that’s all I thought about. Which I started to experience high anxiety. Panic attacks came when I drove, and when I would be alone. I hated being alone…
My relationship was super rocky and on the edge
Panic attacks are no joke seriously. You feel as if your dying , my chest was tight, I would tremble. So so bad…
When I thought about anxiety and people not overcoming them I just looked at it weird and why
I won’t ever look or question about it
I cried and cried it took me into depression…
I don’t wish this stuff on nobody. I don’t want people to experience this stuff. Most scariest shit ever…
I now understand what my siblings go through…
This month I have been feeling better, a nice vacation to Laughlin was really great and my panic attacks gave me a break. I hope you guys get through this, what a battle. This started in August of 2020 and it took this long for it to calmed down…