I don't know if this the most appropriate sub for what I want to say... But I really want to think this is due to my anxiety and nothing more.

With the whole Covid thing and people saying we're doomed, I've been having this horrible feeling that something really bad is going to happen and I will never have the opportunity to live the life I wanna live.

This somewhat feels like karma to me because I was very suicidal until I had a major depressive episode and was prescribed some ssri That fucked me up (still am a little suicidal but now I'm really afraid to die and it's more of a "I'm done" feeling). Sometimes I think that because of my past actions I'm not worthy of being happy and fulfilled again....

But the point is, I feel really bad because I'm not able to shutdown these "apocalyptic" thoughs on the future and I feel really ridiculous.