I was recently diagnosed with BPD but I am not an "acting out" bpd-er. I tend to keep all my emotions in and the anger is always directed at myself. I am in a relationship and although it's been a struggle at times, we are both happy with each other.

The main way it affects me is:

-Impulsivity, deciding I want to move to another continent or quit my job to write a novel or spend money I don't have. 

I drink too much, binge eat, self harm, a lot of suicidal thoughts.

I get very attached to people (although this is not as bad as when I was single and trying to date). Fear of abandonment preoccupies my thoughts constantly. 

"Splitting" is very common for me and I find it hard to see someone's good and bad qualities together. 

My emotions are just up and down constantly. Within a day I can be skipping around saying how lucky I am to be alive and then I can be genuinely planning my suicide. 

I just wondered, is it possible to have children one day with BPD and actually be a good mother? All I hear from children of borderlines is bad things. I really want children. I am a teacher and I love children. I am worried that growing up around someone so unstable would ruin their lives. 