One of my classmates invited me and her friend to her holiday house to celebrate her birthday. I accepted because I didn't want to upset her and saw this as a opportunity to have an "ok" time with others. I ended up drinkin 5 shots of vodka and not sleeping all night. I feel terrible : I felt anxious and empty. I honestly didn't and don't have know what I was doing there. It wasn't my place but saying this makes me feel ungrateful. I just don't know what to do with my life. I don't want to cause trauma to my family and school class by committing suicide but lately that's been on mind and somehow being in that house has made it worse.