I unfortunately latched onto the woman I am in love with as my FP and I’m pretty upset about it. I don’t think I’ve allowed my projections to reflect onto her as far as I’ve controlled it. (I’m the aware BPD type.) 

I love her so much that I literally will not allow myself to react towards the things she is doing or changing but at the same time it is absolutely eating me alive. She is a reserved person when tired or stressed out and even though I know her behavior it still makes me want to peel my skin off after us having consistent contact frequently/daily and then she has her day/s where she can’t communicate as well. I feel so guilty for it. I don’t want to feel resentment for her because she has her own way of doing things. 

I guess I’m looking for distractions, good methods to ground myself with my own reassurance or really fucking anything that helps remind me that we are okay and she genuinely isn’t tired of me, she’s just exhausted from her own daily life.