If you’re someone with BPD who has a partner who also happens to be your FP, then you’ve likely struggled with the thoughts of not being good enough, might have convinced yourself they don’t really care, don’t love you, never have, they wanna leave you etc etc. I struggle with those thoughts regarding my FP literally all the time. However today my FP surprised me.

This guy that I’ll call Daniel have been in and on and off LDR for 2.5 years, never having met IRL. We talk near enough every day but we argue SO much, and when we argue it’s super toxic. I have convinced myself on many occasions he doesn’t really love me, he doesn’t care, he’s not serious about me etcetc. Today, he brought up having looked at flight prices for me to come see him, and told me that I should start looking into getting my passport for when the time comes. 

This is the first time he’s ever brought up meeting, I’ve always been the one to do it and it always got a ‘one day,’ or ‘eventually.’ This made it really hard for me to believe him. But he brought it up himself today. No plan made yet, but the fact that he’s talking about it and bringing it up himself means he’s thinking about it too and means it should happen sooner rather than later.

I’m over the moon.