yeah basically, as title says. i’m 17 (f) i never got the appeal in cutting. i got a bit drunk and first boy i ever loved is acting up again. saying he wants the girl who was my friend but dropped me. she dropped me because i got with him without knowing she liked him. and now i basically have no one. i’ve never felt so unloved, unwanted, alone, and unable to cope with everyday boring, horrible, meaningless life. it may sound over dramatic but honestly i’ve never felt this way and i’ve been alone forever. i just wake up everyday wanting to cry and panic because what’s there to do ? life is so meaningless. i have no goals and no ambitions. i keep wanting to rely on people and going out but that’s not good ? and i thought may as well cut i won’t feel it because i’m drunk. but i feel like i betrayed myself more than ever. my arm’s still bleeding. i don’t feel it but i feel so bad. i’m all i have and i did this to myself. i have an appointment with my doctor for my mental health tomorrow. i wish i could kill myself but i’m so scared of death and don’t want to hurt my parents. even though they hurt me. i don’t know what to do or how to feel better. i just wish i could uncut because i’m really all i have. why would i do that to myself. i’m all that’s ever been here for me.