my ex very publically calls me abusive, personally i think i was definitally boardering on abuse which was the reason i broke up with her. it felt like i was going to die if i lost her but i still did it, even after she told me multiple times she was going to kill herself after i left. in my opinion we were both very toxic people and i do believe she struggled with a chronic victim complex but that doesnt mean i didnt act horribly towards her. she still post to her story about our relationship a(which ended about 6 months ago) and since she is very social with a lot of followers, now many people at my school and online believe me to be an abuser. ever since the break up (and even before) ive been working dilegentally on my mental health and becoming a better person for everybody who has remained in my life. i also entered a new relationship which im currently taking a brake from to work on my mental health again. im stuggling with a lot of guilt and ive become really down on myself recently. some folks have even started telling people to unfollow my friends for associating with me. as soon as i heard about this happening i freaked out, deleted all social media and ghosted all of my friends for their own protection. i feel so shit for forcing people to deal with me and its getting hard to look into the mirror without hating myself. ive hurt everyone i love. i think that for right now its better to just isolate myself until im sure i can be a good person. its hard, i come from the ideology to always believe the victim, but what if youre the bad guy. the rumours are so damaging to my mental health and i dont need people reminding me im a shit person 24/7 without even knowing my side of the story. i never post about our relationship because i know she was severely mentally ill and wouldnt want that information about her out on the internet, i just wish she would do the same. any tips on how to deal with this? im not looking for sympathy per se but just to be heard out.