This is something that has always puzzled me. This is only one example, not the whole case even close, but I hope you get my point. (Background: years and years of therapy, last two in DBT derivative and my experience is my conditions has gone only worse.)

So, I start therapy. We talk and I tell stuff. I tell about my dad who beat my mom when drunk, about my mom who was dismissive, difficult and mentally abusive. Both drunk. Divorced when I was 10, after that hated each other and it's been 25 years of badmouthing, mental abuse, etc. Stuff with smoking has been traumatizing, disgusting friends (no physical abuse in my past, though), etc. etc. etc. So there are clear reasons for stuff. These have been talked about several times.

So, the underlying reason has been found. (And again, this is only one of many reasons). What then? How am I supposed to benefit from that knowledge? I've always known that, clear as day. What should happen now? Time and time again I've been in a "ok, so this happened, so it made me feel like this, which is why I now feel like this" -realizations. And then what? Nothing happens. That knowledge doesn't help me one bit. 

I ask, because after 10 years of therapy I still don't have any idea how those knowing those underlying reasons is supposed to help me get better. Knowing that stuff only makes me hate myself even more.
