Hello ive just recently made this account a couple minutes ago because i currently dont have anyone to talk to and im hoping that someone can help me on here. 

Ive just turned 15 and i would say my life is pretty good. I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety for a year but that doesn't stop me from getting out of bed and making something out of myself but my past is haunting me and i want to kill myself but I'm too afraid of the regret after and i feel trapped. Also I'm not religious in any way, shape or form so please do not say anything about God or religion in general. 

When i was 11 (around 5th - 6th grade) i made a huge mistake that i will not disclose. It was something i had no intention of harm in because I was so young but now I've came to the realization that maybe it is too late. I wasn't thinking when i did this and i didn't know any better because i was so young. I know that what happened wasn't me acting, it was impulse decisions i had without thinking. I'm a strong believer in the past doesn't make you who you are, especially if you've proven you've changed. I want to tell my mom and talk to her but im too afraid of what she will think of me. I feel trapped in my head and in my future i feel like i have no other option but to kill myself.