I just want to talk my mental health with someone but I don't want to talk about it to my friends and so I decided to write it here.

Tl;dr I believe I will die young and people can hear my thoughts. 

I will quickly start this by saying I am mostly a happy person and I would rather live. The dying is fully out of my control and I wouldn't off myself. 

So for as long as I can remember I have been very obsessed about death and dying. Shortly said I am convinced I will die young. Every time I go outside I keep thinking that everything and anything could kill me. If I walk near a road I am constantly thinking a car will hit me. Water makes me sure I will drown. When I go to sleep I'm almost certain I will die of heart attack/stroke/something or a murderer breaks in and kills me or the roof collapses etc.

Where ever I am and whatever I do I am always thinking I will die. This way of thinking used to make my life a lot worse as I was scared and oversensitive to everything all the time but nowadays I just don't care anymore. Although I do want to keep living I have developed this say of thinking "if I die then it was ment to be".

Oh and I don't only think about me dying but also I think about how they will find me dead. How long it takes, what I will look like, will there be something about it in the news (like if it was a murder). I think about all the details.

Unrelated to the thoughts of dying I also believe people around me can hear my thoughts. Sometimes it gets to a point where I just make random "noise" in my head so no one would know what I'm actually thinking about. I even might just fully stop thinking verbally and only pay attention to my surroundings. I sometimes try to communicate with people telepathically and in some cases (like with my best friend) I get an answer from them. I do know it's all in my head, no one hears my thoughts and no one is talking to me in my head but my brain refuses to believe this. I know it's not real but I just can't believe it. I even have a theory about the telepathical stuff (like how it works and such but I'm not gonna get into it).

Anyways that was my little venting post.