Hey there,

I’ve been diagnosed with BPD for two years now, sporadically attend dbt, have been substance and alcohol free 8 months, moved to a city where I have a full time job and am held accountable for my actions. AND AM MISERABLE. 

I don’t know if I miss the drama of my life- I hope I don’t- I hated losing relationships, spending time in the psych ward or detox and everyone assuming I’m going to die. 

I’m doing all the “right” things- meds, therapist, work, exercise, sleep and am just really lonely sad and hopeless that this is all that there is when doing normal things. That being said I don’t have any new friends here, I’m single again and don’t know how to do either without a substance in my body. Idk. I miss my fp more than ever and want to prove I’m doing well, I’m great love me again!!! 

I don’t want to sound like an ungrateful jerk to friends and family who only want to see me healthy and am not sure what to do. Sorry for the rant. Thanks.