I barely have energy to breathe. I haven't cut my hair for almost 9 months and my parents keep annoying me and whenever they do, I immediately start thinking about how to end my life. I hate my life. I live in a hyperreligious family Ina hyperreligious society and I've been nonreligious since I was 14. I've never had any friends let alone close friends and do not have any contact with anyone outside my family, and I hate people so much I don't desire forming any new relationship. All the time I'm thinking about the future and how I'll struggle with life only to get old and feeble and eventually die for nothing. I really hate the prospect of getting old so much that it has affected my life now. No one understands me even my parents. I've never had any kind of fun in my entire life and my parents kept pressuring me to study and study so much that I got sick of it and now I'm falling university too. I keep reading books and articles about depression and the meaning of life and positive psychology but at the end I know I'll get old and die eventually alone with no one to care about me. So why should I continue living?