i recently treated someone i cared about so terribly. they were so nice and did everything right but i just couldn’t resist treating them like shit. i’m not entirely sure why i did it…maybe i wanted to self-sabotage and get them to leave based on that instead of another reason idk but that mixed with a combination of being overly attached way too soon they ended up blocking me. i am sad that they’re no longer in life but mostly i just feel so terribly i treated someone that way. it was like i had no control over my emotions. i had no right to be hateful or expect so much out of someone. this experience with the person lead fo my BPD diagnosis but i can’t get over the guilt because they haven’t accepted my apology and i hate that they see me that way instead of the person i am becoming. what’s the best way to get over the guilt of just being an overall shitty person when it comes to having BPD and relationships?