Hello All,

I have been "diagnosed" with pure OCD for over two years now. I have had a nightmare of a relationship with a person where I was emotionally abusive. I had thought that I had r/ROCD for the later part of our relationship and r/Scrupulosity when I would constantly apologize to her, making things worse after our separation.

This woman is absolutely petrified by me(That's what I've heard) and lives in constant anxiety of being contacted by me, although I would never do that again. At this point, I can do nothing except wish she doesn't feel that way.  I did not respect her boundaries, and was fairly crazy during the breakup. There were a couple of dangerous mistakes on social media. Self forgiveness aside, there was a lot of classic 'push pull' dynamic after she left me- After many apologies(most of the emails were apologies), she came back to me and wanted me back. This is when I again lost interest in her(classic abuse cycle), she left me again and I started developing "feelings for her" and started bothering her. This bizarre set of events and her fear of the "crazy ex"(legitimately) has made her very scared. She has told me not to contact her again at the very end and I've followed since then. Before that, I have sent her a total of 5 emails in a year since the breakup.

I live by the motto "leave her the Fuck alone." I am trying to live with the baggage of destroying a person like that psychologically, it's not easy. It has been 4 months of pure No contact. Anyways, what brings me to this group is that several things lead me to believe that I may have BPD comorbid with OCD, or if it is BPD misdiagnosed as OCD. I have all the classic symptoms- a sense of extreme entitlement followed by intense self loathing, intense relationships, frequent mood swings, etc. I know that intrusive thoughts are related to both of these problems.

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Also, BPD also has obsessive thoughts. I have talked to my therapist who is an OCD specialist and works with exposure therapy, and I've told him that I may have a personality disorder. He says that it's you "obsessing that you have a personality disorder". The whole things makes me very confused because OCD uses CBT with exposure, while BPD uses DBT, right? I don't know whom I should consult for this fairly complicated mental health case. 

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Any help would be appreciated.