she told me all she wanted was space and i just didn’t stop. hundreds of messages on so many different platforms begging her to come back. i hate myself so much i feel like i’m insane. i’ve driven her away for good and it’s all my fault. all i do is drive people away and hurt people. 

she sent me a long paragraph, saying how i’ve been harassing her and claiming my love for her is an act, she said that my love is ‘toxic and obsessive’. i feel like a monster. i’m so suicidal over this and i just want to hurt myself more and more. she told me to not message her again and i can’t even explain myself or apologise. this guilt is eating me alive i don’t want to be here anymore. i cannot take this. i’ve ruined my life and i have no one left. i am ALONE there’s no one here for me anymore. i need someone to care about me. i cannot get her out of my mind and she’s gone forever.

i don’t know how to handle all this pain, i’m suffering so much, any advice or comfort is so appreciated. i know what i’ve done is wrong so please don’t berate me as i can’t mentally handle that right now.