i found a counselor. 

I’ve convinced myself for the past year or so that help won’t even help me…but after multiple panic attacks sending me to the ER because I somehow convinced myself it was a heart attack, forgetting to eat and drink, constantly going over thoughts that send me spiraling, etc. I decided to give it a shot. I’m not sure if it’ll work but it’s worth a try right? 

Yesterday was my first day. It was so overwhelming i cried off the simplest questions but after i felt so relieved.

I haven’t felt proud of myself in who knows how long but I left yesterdays session so happy with a decision I made for once in a long time. 

wish me luck or more i need it more than ever