 Hi guys, 

I would be very grateful for your insight if possible.  I am wondering about preemptive abandonment - pushing others away due to fear of rejection by means of emotional or verbal abuse, mocking, putting the other down etc... A friend of mine told me he does that, but only with intimate partners, never with friends, because the pain of rejection from an intimate partner would be so much worse and so has to be avoided at all cost. The verbal abuse is often extreme, wishing death on that person etc..., but afterwards he feels bad about it. It is as if he is coming out of a trance and he is himself again, like two different people. He is not officially diagnosed with BPD, it could be BPD or perhaps CPTSD since these two are sometimes difficult to tell apart (I am not diagnosing him, he mentioned this himself.)

I wonder if this is a reflex that happens to any of you? He describes it not as something he does on purpose, it feels like a reflex and happens quickly without thinking.

Any advice would be welcome. Have a nice day and take care.