it’s just a constant fear in my chest. nothing ever seems to help it’s just like a sink hole of fear in the middle of my chest; maybe not fear maybe more like the realization that i’m alive keeps crushing down on me. the fact i am a real person, and i have to live, and i just can’t because i don’t want to. so all this doom sinks into my chest creating a never ending cycle of remembering i’m real and freaking out you know? i feel like i need to keep up and i’m not where i’m supposed to be in life, and it’s all too much. i always feel 100 steps behind. i’m afraid i’m not enough of a person to live amongst everyone else.