I don't have any ambition or motivation left in me. Everything is gone. I don't even study. My grades are dropping. I can't understand why everybody around me is so happy and leading normal lives. I haven't made any efforts to apply to a university/college and I don't even know what job I will pursue in the future. It's like I know that I wouldn't be able to have a good future if I didn't make an effort but I don't even care anymore. I've only been on earth for 16 years and I already want to leave. I just want to die.  I have so much overwhelming hatred and disgust for myself.I never consented to being born, instead I am just expected to sit here and suffer for the sake of other people.