My BIL is 30 yrs old, extremely childish and over protected. He’s got undiagnosed BPD.
Our close family friend who is a psychiatrist and has been around us and him for over 10 years and has seen all his ups and downs strongly argues he suffers from BPD.  My in laws ignore this, because no way could their baby boy have BPD.

He is hypoacusic (partly deaf to certain pitches- he hears but doesn’t catch the whole word/sentence sometimes)

So my in laws over protect him, he lives at home, doesnt work and they give him a salary. They pay all his bills and expenses on top of the salary and they have a full time maid. 

He had some meltdowns recently when his gf left him, he OD on Xanax, was hospitalized but let go in 6 hrs. He took 25 pills and then came to have lunch with us and he began passing out, he timed it perfectly.
But  she talked the docs into thinking he only did it because he didn’t understand how the pills worked.
He’s 30!


His mom goes to the psychiatrist with him, she intervenes on his behalf because he,s ‘deaf’ but he clearly communicate when he wants to.

When he tells the doctors he’s mad or suicidal she downplays it saying that’s just how he expresses himself. He’s  even been dropped by doctors saying they can’t help.
She thinks she’s doing the right thing... she doesn’t want him to have the stigma of a disorder.

He’s on antidepressants and not seeing a psychologist constantly. He only goes in to refil prescriptions.
Nobody is allowed to help

It’s been 5 months, he constantly writes suicidal and self deprecating comments on his FB status. He says he wants his ex dead, says he wants to die, he wants to be castrated, wants to have a lobotomy.
They are quite erratic and extremely distressing.

We all walk around on eggshells because we don’t want to set him off, or worst set off the mama bear.

So since I can’t help or give my opinion, my question is: What can I expect for the future?

He’s been physically aggressive before during a tantrum... will he become violent?
Can he hurt his parents?

Could he lose it and hurt my infant son? (Although he says he loves him to death)
I’m afraid of letting my baby stay unattended at my in laws because of him

Could he really try to harm himself?
Is there something I can do for him?

