I just don't see the point anymore.

I'm nearly 40, I have achieved nothing that is expected of a life.

I wonder why I just slave away in a job to survive, I can't afford my own home, there is nothing to look forward to, I can't share my interests with a significant other, there never seems to be anyone available.

I'm not living, I'm just existing and in a matter of years I will be in the ground.

I don't understand why my life is so hard, or why a lot of people take a gradual dislike to me over time.

Sometimes I snap out of this and try and live my best life, I try and build up an idealised version of the world, which stays with me for a while, but it is extremely short lived.

I feel like I am stunted in age, I feel like someone in their 20s but I know my age and that time is just taking it all away.

I've missed so many milestones and I never intended to.

I'm not sure there is anything that can be said, or done, so I just pick myself up and try and start it all over again.

I've lost track of all these times I've tried to "reboot" my life.