I finally admitted to my doctor the other month (December) that I was feeling anxiety and suicidal and was put on prozac. The first month on it I felt completely exhausted and slept probably 16 hours a day. I talked to my doctor about the fatigue and oversleeping and he said "well that's good because most patients have insomnia" so I didn't think anything of it. In some part of my mind I thought I was better off sleepy and napping all the time rather than a raging bitch going through mood swings. 

A month after that I felt like a normal person with short bursts of depression or anxiety, but I assumed they were normal reactions to job interviews and whatnot. They only lasted a few hours once every other week.

Then suddenly I feel like my same old self, full of anxiety, shaking and feeling like I'm inhaling chemicals when I have to interact with an employee or customer, I started drinking to relieve the anxiety, fucking have a juice box full of wine in my purse at all times, and I've isolated myself in my apartment and chose to paint all day instead of look for a job after quitting my last job. Which was similar to how I was before the prozac. Should I ask for more prozac? Is this normal? I don't fucking know. 

For a moment I thought I was fixed and finally normal but now I'm starting to think it was just a placebo effect. I keep waking up everyday feeling the same sinking dread I used to feel without prozac. Sometimes I think I'm impossible to fix unless I'm drugged to the point of fucked. 