I don’t know where to begin. Im a late 30s RN w a very stressful job (corrections) , a single mum to a 13 year old daughter. I used to be a great mom and person. Then, from 2013-2018 I was stalked and tormented and had my house and car vandalized, on more than 500 occasions…by an unknown male who was eventually arrested. Ever since that happened I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, PTSD and anxiety. I think I may have Quiet BPD.  I have become a shut in, except for work. I’m so depressed, I feel like I don’t know how to feel any positive emotions anymore. If I had to describe myself or how those closest to me would describe me…depressed, negative, miserable, anxious, useless, selfish. I feel so worthless, lazy and guilty. I feel like my daughter and I argue so often that it’s never going to change  and she doesn’t  want to be around me and I can’t blame her because I don’t want to be around myself. Her dad was very abusive to me and continues to be that way even though he’s engaged to be married soon, he had managed to take away the only thing I cared about, my daughter. How do I keep going? If the definition of insanity is doing the same things and expecting different results. How do I keep going and stay alive ? When I feel like my presence is so toxic?