Since being diagnosed with BPD I have identified her as my FP. I feel like in this community, that should say it all right? She basically controls my moods.

I am totally alone now. I've been turning down girls, sex, fun, everything devoted to her.

Fuck me dude like, I want to die. JFC why is it so hard for other people to be BLUNT and HONEST and UP FRONT. I can handle ALMOST ANYTHING if you can just bluntly tell me what to prepare for.

Gonna kill myself one day. Decided today.