Hello all first post here and it's already negative haha, I made this account to hopefully find solace in knowing other people who have BPD I can relate with so nice to meet you all!

Anyways I have been recently diagnosed with BPD, I will be starting therapy soon enough. My partner of about 6 months knows about this diagnosis and tries his best to be supportive and understanding for me and my behaviour, he knows about him being my FP.

I have no actual reason at all to break up with him but for some reason for about a few weeks now I keep thinking about breaking up.

I feel like this relationship is giving me anxiety but honestly he's been doing nothing but giving me amazing support, even if he's a bit brutally honest sometimes it helps me snap out of times I become emotionally irrational. And in return I want to do nothing but make him happy.

Like the only reason I want to do this is because I often get upset and blow up in tears for the most menial things. It's not even bad things he does, he's just talking to friends most of the time and I get super irrationally jealous. And every time I get upset like that I feel so guilty and he feels bad for hurting me. I just feel so toxic and abusive at times even though I know I'm not... I just keep obsessing over those times I overreacted and it's piling up on me...

I don't want to hurt him anymore which makes me think of doing this, I'm wondering should I wait until I learn to cope better and get my emotions in check before making such a harsh decision, or am I beating a dead horse out of this relationship?