This is going to be long, but I need some advice.

My ex-girlfreind (18) and I (18) had been together for almost 10 months when she told me she didn't want a relationship anymore.

We have been friends for almost 5 years, and I liked her this whole time. We also shared the same friendgroup.

When we started dating I already knew she had bdp, but that had never been a problem to me. I did some research and treated her the way I'd like to be trated. Walked her home, texted her every day, face-timed, flowers, gifts...

Then some things started to happen: She refused to post me on social media, dropped my hand when seeing someone we knew on the street, not wanting our friends to know about us, not wanting to tell our parents... I'd like to add that I'm trans, so these kind of things really hurt me and make me feel insecure as heck.

Almost three months in, we told one of our friends about it, and the others started to know too, slowly. She still didn't want anything about us to be on social media. She said she was too insecure, and I respected that, but it hurt to see how she would post other things with her friends. Really anyone, just not me.  
Once her other friends found out, she started following 5+ people named as me so no one would know which one I was...

During summer she travelled a lot. I stayed home cause I don't really have any money and I was getting top surgery on August, which she had been super supportive, as always.  
I has asked her if she could be there for me, at least post-op, cause she was important to me and dealing with my parents, who are divorced, was going to be hard.  
She obviously wanted to be there too.

Every summer she leaves with her summer friend-group to a village for about a month. They basically party the whole time, and I personally find those friends awful people, but she seems to have fun...  
So in August, she decided not to come visit me. She found it useless since I wouldn't be able to do anything.

That really really hurt me.

When she came back home, she broke up with me. She said she had been thinking about it for a long time and that she had talked to a friend who told her it was better this way.

Still, we texted and talked to make sure we were both alright. I had an awful time trying to keep it together, and apparently she did too, but she never showed her feelings. She acted happy in front of our friends, and made like nothing happened.

But now it's just so weird. It's like she doesn't remember us. But she gets jealous if I hang out with other girls, even though she knows I still like her.

She's the one talking to her ex and flirting with new guys...

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I never really confronted her about the problems we had, even though I told her about all of them.  
The thing is she still really wants us to be friends, she says she cannot live without me and she doesn't want me to leave. She told me I was her fp and that she didn't want to live without me a while ago, and to be honest it kinda scared me. I didn't want her literal life depending on me.  
But anyways, I can't be her friend. I swear I've tried, but it just really hurts me...

Lately tiktok has been showing me videos of people with bpd talking about how much it hurts when your fp leaves, and how awful it is...  
I don't want her to suffer. I still love her and I care about her more than anyone will ever do, really.

We're seeing each other tomorrow, and I got her a gift because it was her birthday a few weeks ago. I was planning on telling her that I cannot be in her life anymore... Can any of you give me their advice? Should I do it or will it hurt her too much? I just really want her to be safe.

&amp;#x200B;

Thank you!