I’m really glad that I found this platform, and while I’m sad that other people hurt this way, too, it’s nice to know I’m not alone. 

Today I have my DBT intake at a collaborative that I’ve been on the waitlist for since January. This is a huge deal, but of course I’m scared, especially after years of misdiagnoses and being on every psychiatric medication and generally not getting what I need from treatment. Recently I went through some really harsh, self-inflicted medication changes, had to defer my degree again (I’m 24 for perspective), gave up my dream of moving to the city and all of the plans, and was broken up with. There’s definitely a lot that I need to work on, but I’m just gaining “emotions” after not having them for months (shoutout to mood stabilizers and anti depressants) and am just trying to process all of it at once which is so extreme.

I am not sure what I was trying to get at with this post, but just wanted to finally vocalize some of my thoughts. I’m really scared for finally getting into DBT and to begin quite literally finding myself. When I speak about these issues with friends, I’m often met with tough love, which breaks me. Just want to know that I have support I guess. Much love to all of you.