So.. My anxiety reached a peak point a while ago where I know I'm anxious but can no longer feel it. I don’t have medications, haven’t had them in years due to money issues. I don’t know how to feel… less anxious, I was in talk therapy using cbt but honestly none of it worked and I stopped going because I hit a wall and aged out of my therapist. Most of the normal calming methods just.. Don’t work and now my sleep is very much suffering. I keep having bizarre dreams and I normally don’t dream at all. I wake up in a cold sweat out of nowhere multiple times a night just… panting lightly. If I sleep longer then 3 hours I wake up calling out for help and gasping. I try to fall back to sleep and I jolt awake with the ever impending threat of “what happens after we die, I have to stay awake to know I’m alive.” Even benadryl which usually knocks me out stopped working, don’t worry it's just for when the pollen gets high some days, we love allergies. I’ve tried using melatonin and the like and it also doesn't work and leaves me often worse feeling than just trying to force sleep. How do I navigate this and finally rest. All my negative symptoms seem to be doubling down on me lately and I need some serious help. I’m exhausted, I’ve got no energy, depression is up, dissociation is way up, my whole fucking body hurts, I can’t deal with any more stress or anyone. It feels… god, I hate it. I’ll do anything at this point.