When I’m feeling anxious for years I would describe a lot of the intensity of anxiety as my brain splitting in 2. Like there’s a side of me just reacting in raw emotion, and the other half is trying to rationalize what is going on and calm me down. The fact that these two parts of the same whole are at odds with each other only makes the anxiety harder to react too. 

Lately I’ve been recovering from a setback. I also have really bad brain fog. And I am struggling to identify how to reduce my current anxiety level. Like it will throb in intensity throughout the day. And this rational voice is nowhere to be found. And the brain fog is making it hard to plan or think. 

My therapist has suggested I start medication for this. But I really dont want to. Idk what to do tho. It’s not subsiding on it’s own like it usually does and I’m starting to get lost in the Impending feeling that I’ll go crazy or lose contact with this world. The symptoms I’m experiencing are some mild depersonalization (which I can tolerate very well) and an extreme fear of psychotic symptoms. The fear has provoked some hallucinations in the past. But when I reduce the anxiety the psychotic side goes away. Right nOw everything seems unpredictable and potentially scary\provoking.  it’s like walking through on an open sidewalk, surrounded in nails laying on the ground lining each side of the pavement, and you’re barefoot in a dense fog. 

I don’t understand what provoked the setback. And I don’t know why this is so hard to manage.