So this is my first post, and this is a different account. I’ve been a lurker for a super long time. 

I’ve been diagnosed with BPD over a year back, and I’ve been working on making myself better. 

A while back I got into a relationship that fit me correctly, or so I thought. It reached a point where I kept feeling that my SO didn’t understand my BPD and kept saying things that triggered me. I also pointed that out very clearly, my triggers, how he doesn’t get BPD etc. 

Finally, we had a conversation where he told me that he had been reading about BPD and he had a better understanding now. I was super happy about that. 

Then he went and said I’m manipulative. 

I know for a fact that I’ve been working on myself and I haven’t been manipulative. In fact, at points of time when I do have extreme emotions I explain to him exactly what triggered me and why I’m reacting like that. For example - he calls another woman hot and I absolutely flip and I then explain that when he does that I feel absolutely insecure and not good enough about myself ( I do have severe body issues) and I also say that I know how I am being irrational but this is how I feel about it. I haven’t asked him to do anything for me except be considerate of the fact that I have BPD and not to use words that’s trigger me. 

Could somebody please explain manipulation to me better? Because I feel like he’s calling me manipulative just because I’ve accepted that I’ve been manipulative in the past and because he’s read it on these websites.

It is not fun being called manipulative. Just makes me feel like I haven’t changed at all then and all my therapy and self work have been for nothing.