Early this week I had a manic episode that led to some alcohol that led to severe depression, and a young woman I’m very interested in was privy to it all.

We met in person but she’s long distance from me, and we aren’t dating, but we’ve been speaking morning to night on a daily basis, and been quite infatuated and affectionate with each other, at least through words and phone calls.

After witnessing what was an admittedly bad and embarrassing episode of anger and depression that I can only assume was exacerbated by alcohol, communication has become minimal. The affection is palpably absent. 

I’m so ashamed and very, very sad at what feels like the loss of something I thought was very real and could be really special. I’m kind of just trying to leave her alone now, because that’s how she’s acting, but it feels terrible, and I feel terrible.

Only thing to do is keep living life, I suppose.