my life has just been so miserable ever since I can remember, I feel like what I need to get better is impossible and would be asking to much of other people, I haven't felt happy in such a long time and my life has become to complicated I don't want to do this anymore. I wish I could start my life over. I feel like asking for help is like asking for attention, I know it's not but what if it is, I don't want to be the friend that brings the mood down and no one actually likes but everyone just feels bad for, I don't have a single person in my life that doesn't get payed that is really there for me I feel like. Maybe I should be locked up so I can't hurt myself, I don't want to want to die but I want to die, it would be selfish to kill myself because there are people that would be sad, I hope so at least.