TW: bugs 

Hey everyone, so I am diagnosed with major depression / panic disorder / GA. 

Lastnight I had the worst surreal panic attack I have ever had… the thing that triggered it was well… cockroaches… I just moved to a new apartment and unfortunately I have been battling cockroaches since. I have never lived or been around them until now and everytime I see one it sends me into state of “everything is dirty” I can’t physically even allow my bare feet on the ground. The panic attack was so bad my skin was crawling , and I kept seeing roaches even though they weren’t there. My husband had to convince me there were no roaches near me.. I have NEVER had a panic attack like this.. 

Disclaimer: I live in TX (I’m not from here originally) my husband says roaches are pretty common here in the state / in apartments.

I do keep my apartment clean, actually because of the roaches I’ve begun compulsively cleaning the heck out of my apartment. Unfortunately it just seems like an uphill battle with them.. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get rid of them completely. 

So my question is, do you guys have any tips on trying to limit my symptoms if I see a roach or how I can try and feel “safe” in my apartment? 

Lastly, I do have medication. I also receive therapy through the VA unfortunately it’s so backed up i can’t be seen for 6 months. After that panic attack I truly felt I “lost my mind”. I need help. Please no judgement.