Heaven knows I've tried and that I will get up tomorrow and try again but deep down, I know that I am losing hope again. When the day comes to an end, the company has gone and I'm sat there alone. That's when I realise how much throughout the day I was putting on a brave face. Trying to put others at ease, making sure they are comfortable. I give my all when I'm conversing with those around me. All of my energy is thrown into those moments and most of the time it feels like I don't get half as much back. I try to be as expressive, open, clear, direct and respectful as I can be with people. I try to be attentive to their needs and wants, to be curious and kind. To look out for the underdog but nobody is there to look out for me and whilst I am kind to myself of late, sometimes it just isn't enough. I need someone there beside me who genuinely cares. Someone who will meet me half way for where I am currently at. I just want to feel like I am enough.