I was going through a really bad few days of depression last week when I got a call from a friend. He was concerned since we usually talk every day but he hadn’t heard from me for a while. He asked me why I didn’t go to a little movie night I was invited to at a friends house (following Covid restrictions of course). I replied that I didn’t really feel welcome or comfortable there, to which he said “but you don’t feel comfortable anywhere.”

That sentence really hit me since the more I thought about it, the more true it became. I realized that I actually don’t feel comfortable anywhere; I always feel unwanted or as if it wouldn’t matter if I was there or not even when I’m with my closest friends. That of course led to another thought spiral of “will I ever be able to truly be at ease” to which my brain quickly answered “nope.”

I don’t really know the point of my post but maybe some of you relate so just wanted to share :)
(I am a quiet borderline by the way)