I work in customer service. I know that my customers and coworkers notice that something l about me is "off". I had a panic attack at work last week, and I am utterly embarrassed of myself. I try to hide my issues and appear competent and confident, but I destroyed that image, now.

I also talk to myself, shake with the occasional eye twitch, and get upset/angry easily. People know that I have issues, and while some are really nice and understanding, there are others who treat me like I have AIDS and avoid me.

 I fucking hate my issues, and I hate myself. Why couldn't I just be neurotypical?