It's not worth it if in the end I'm always left w nothing..surrounded by nothing, my life's a lie and everyday is a failed attempt of trying to run away from how empty it feels to live. But I'll keep running regardless..that's the only amusement I can get out of it. No matter what I say or do nothing changes. So everything I do ultimately ends up being pretend and  the moment I snap out of it I realize how pointless it was to get so invested in nothing..the constant back and forth is fucked tho...I wish the times where I can truly let go and embrace nothing could last forever. Bc that's what I am