I know I'm a very shallow person. No one has ever said that to me. But I know who I am. But I don't think I deserve to feel like this. I've been struggling for a long time. Everyday is hard. From waking up to eating and interacting with people. I feel like socialising takes so much energy. And I have a breakdown at the end of the day. I have an eating disorder and Gender dysphoria and been dealing with recollection of bad memories. I manage to hide it. Ig. I do. But where I'm from people don't understand mental health. They are willing to symphatize only to an extent. But I really try. And it's just. I feel like I'm going to just burst out one day and die. I think that would be peaceful. I don't know what's going on. Everything around me hurts. I have been so intolerant about every little thing. This disorder is unfair. But I also don't know the person I would be without it. Maybe I'm just a horrible person with an excuse.