I mean, is there a term for it? Is it just a depression episode or something else?

I've shut down completely. Mentally I feel like I'm recovering from major mind surgery. I don't know how to explain it. It's like depression but on a whole new level - the bpd level. Grief and betrayal are the main feelings I've been feeling for the entirety of the last 2 months, since my family decided to not act against my cousin after finding out she molested me when I was younger. The only thing I can compare it to is that state that you go in when somebody in your immediate family dies.

They go to visit her and her family every week when I'm at work. Each time someone mentions their visits or my nephew plays a video they recorded while in her house the grief and the betrayal come and attack me again like I'm feeling it for the first time. I left uni soon after my outburst during which I told them (early-Mid November) so I'm just at home almost every single day trying to recover, but it's so fucking difficult when you need support from are acting against you/your health by keeping peace with the enemy.

If I didn't have to babysit my niece and nephew everyday I know I would lay in bed and only come out when I have work. Even eating/enjoying has become a thing of the past. What used to be binge eating disorder and an obsession with food/cooking may be turning into an anorexia relapse. 

Sleeping has become impossible. I'm actually scared to sleep because I know I'll have to wake up in the morning (or afternoon, rather) and deal with this shit again. It's 5.40am right now. Every day I tell myself I'll sleep earlier. Then everyday I remind myself there's no point because I've got nothing worth waking up for. Even my nephew who used to be my only strength isn't that anymore. In the past, even if I had 2 hours of sleep I would jump out of bed for the kid. Now I'm lucky if I bother to wake up even if he comes to my room and wakes me up himself.

I'm barely surviving. I'm just... awake? Like I'm not living - I'm just floating through my days waiting to snap out of this. I have no hope, no motivation and no ambition. I almost gathered the ambition to start a new business 2 days ago but within these 2 days the ambition just went. Now I'm back to floating through life. It's 6am now. Fuck me. God help me get into a routine again. I keep telling myself once I sort out my sleep then everything else will fall into place. I just can't/don't know how to sort out my sleep.