So my boyfriend brought the BPDLovedOnes subreddit to my attention, he said it was for people dating BPD people, and I was like okay that's cool. I checked it out myself and a lot of it is just people saying a relationship with us will never work, we're are all horrible/abusive/manipulative and if you're dating one you need to leave no matter what...

For some reason it really hurt my feelings, even though those stories aren't about me it still hurts to know that purely because of a mental illness I can't cure or stop there's going to be people out there who hear I'm BPD and immediately think I'm some awful horrible person before even getting to know me... 

And then I starting thinking about my boyfriend, what if he really is better off without me? What if I really am abusive towards him and don't even realize it? I love him and don't want to hurt him and this whole thing has made me feel like maybe I should just leave him so I don't hurt him worse in the long run... 

It has made me so depressed and has made me question everything about myself... Am I really going to ruin everyone I love? Am that horrible person too and don't even realize it? Does my BPD make me unworthy of being loved? Am I just being a pussy?