I know i am the problem otherwise 7 billion people would agree with me... 

It was until few months since it hit me, after deciding to adress my inner self, realized my depression, suffering from insomnia and anxiety and probably BPD, after a uear having to sit through the fact that im just a mess in disguise,
i finally realized something that i've probably been ignoring or maybe i still had hope, until i didn't have the energy anymore and everything and everyone started wearing me out...

Its almost like you can see right through people's bullshit, hypocrisy and their need for comformity and approval.. so they stopped being themselves. Or maybe its me who is being that and projecting this on everyone. 

You can talk to hundreds of people and you can almost predict every conversation, what they will say and how they will act.. even those who may seem like they come with original ideas, in reality its nothing like that.. you can fot everyone you meet in some category. 

No matter how much i try and steer the conversation into something interesting or deep... yet again i get the same responses, ideas, thoughts... almost too one dimentional.. and its tiring.

Meeting new people became the worst thing for me, you gonna have to act good and correct, and drag yourself through those same mindless small talks and banters and talk about yourself and what do you do ? Ohh nice thats cool, what movies do you like ? Etc... that is tiring... always try and act like you care, like you don't wanna just blow your head off.

In return i stop engaging in conversations, i avoid meeting people, i gonout by myself during the night driving and thinking about the same thing i'm writing you...
And tbh i understand most of peoples thoughts and motives... and i understand how important to be defined by that and what you ate...
but i don't have any of my own, my ideas and beliefs and convictions just faded away cause i realized that they are all right and true if YOU and certain people that came together believe that.. but in the grand scheme of things... it just doesn't matter.. 

Thats how i lost what makes me, and thats how i became the person i get bored of the most... 

Obviously there is a lot to that, my background can explain a lot of what i mean by this, but i think its better for me to see what do you think about this...