 *I will say this in advance, sorry if this post is just stupid rant, I just wanted to vent a little and maybe hear some advice from people that got out of this similar kind of situation.*

**TL;DR:** You can read the text below it if you want, but basically I just wanted to ask: **What things you did to get yourself out of bed and work in order to get better?**

I don't have anyone to distract myself from my thoughts. Just my partner and I've spent so much time with him and I feel guilty for being such a burden with all of my mood swings. I'm really jealous from feeling replaced by his friends, specially the female ones. I always tell him that he would be much more compatible with them or with any other girl, someone that's happy at least.

I'm so full of guilt that I'm unable to spend time with him anymore without thinking that he's wasting his time with me, that he could be better off without me. Almost all our chats are about me being sad/depressed now. It's so goddamn annoying. I'm annoying.

I don't have any friends, and have a really hard time making them. I feel so insecure about myself with all of my flaws, feel so boring. Why would someone even want to keep a convo with me ? I don't even bother in fear of being rejected/ignored.

The thing is, I want to change this things but I don't have the strengh to do so. Like, I can plan what I would like to do, but when the time comes I just... stay home. I procrastinate playing videogames, and end up being on the computer all day. My back and my legs hurt from being still all the time. Last month when I had a "good" day, I suscribed to a gym close to my home, and only went there once. For the same reasons, procrastination, fear of judgement, insecurities...