The two people whom I viewed as my best friends just revealed to me that they never saw me as their best friend.

They said I was never considered part of their "core" group because I don't stay up late with them sometimes and need some days for alone time. They said it naturally hurts my "friend stock" when I say I want to sleep early instead of hanging out all night.

I do those things to control the impact of my anxiety on my health.

A guy who treats them like sh*t is considered part of their "core" group just because he shows up to every hang out.

I'm not mad at them or blame them for having different values. It just hurts, knowing that I viewed our friendship differently than they did. I believed our close connection was more important than just physical presence.

And now the feeling of being utterly alone is seeping back into my mind, even though I try so hard to overcome it.

I need a hug.