I don’t even wanna write a title. But I feel so lost about how to be a good supportive partner when I feel so fucked up myself. My partner has a lot going on top of working a lot and depression, and I feel bad for even existing around them sometimes. I get financial help so I only have to work part time, I have a whatever childhood, nothing so damaging to be valid in why I’m such a screw up, I have everything lined up to be doing way better than I am, but I just can’t be fucking normal for like a single period of time longer than 2-3 Days. Work drains every drop of ability to be happy within an hour, I get so caught up in the shitty retail customers attitudes and bullshit, absorb it line a sponge. I carry it with me exponentially building for 8 hours a day, three days a week, and that’s hardly bare minimum work. I just feel like a burden on the world. I feel like I drain myself and drain everyone around me. I feel so disposable all the time, and all I want sometimes is to just lay down and be told I’ll be okay. But when I feel so bad I just remember how good I have it and how could I feel so bad, which makes me feel worse because I don’t even have an answer. I fall apart for no reason and when my partner is falling apart for super real reasons I retract and try to wait it out and end up making it about me. I feel like a weight on everyone and I just wish I could support those around me rather than drain everything from them. 