So, this post is mainly for humor/relatability, but also in hopes that I'm not the only weird bean like this.  For context, I have pure o, and one of the obsessions I've been dealing with for months now (with some unique little branches) is that my boss secretly hates me and doesn't trust me.  That resulted in me, having had to call out the past two days due to illness, giving excessive amounts of detail in just how sick I am.  The text convo was something along the lines of:
Me: I'm calling out sick today because I've had a major sore throat.  I'll see if I can schedule a covid test just in case.
Boss: ok, get well soon.
Me: I'll try, the runs and congestion is NOT a pleasant mix.  Down five lbs since Monday!
Boss: *leaves me on read because he has better things to do*
Me: I hate to do this, but calling out sick again...
Boss: Thanks for letting me know
Me: Legit feels like I'm dying.  I'd come into work if I could but it ain't pretty
Boss: Sorry your so sick
My brain: *HE THINKS YOU WERE FISHING FOR SYMPATHY YOU OVER DID IT YOU LYING LAZY HO GO BACK TO BED AND THEN TO THE TOILET AND THEN TO BED*
Would "I'm calling out sick" and "yup still sick" probably have sufficed?  Yup.  Is there any reason to feel like he's sus of me?  No, in fact at my prechristmas performance review he said that there was little I could do better and he'd give me a raise if corporate would let him.  Do I still feel like a bad employee worthy of scrutiny?  Yes.  Am i actually sick?  YES