So it is very common for me to get extremely impulsive and start self-harming/considering suicide at night. Never during the day, only late at night. I never know if it is serious enough for me to need to go to the ER. But that isn't the main issue. I have been in a psych ward once and I HATED it. Obviously, no one does, but it was when I was under 18 and the fact that my own parents couldn't even get me out of there, even though they were trying to terrifies me. Once I'm in there I'm literally trapped. I can't leave until the psychiatrist who sees me once every couple days decides I can. It scares me to death. Part of me just wants to escape from being scared that I'm going to do something and know that I am physically safe being locked in there, but the other part of me is scared of the unknownness of it, and the knowledge that once I'm in there I am going to wish with all my heart that I never was admitted. It is also just such a hassle, to go to the ER in the middle of the night, and be transferred, blah blah blah. I also don't want to put my parents through that again, because their biggest fear is literally me going back there. I'm scared that my bf will decide to dump me, even though I know deep down that he won't. I'll miss summer school and Drivers' Ed. It just totally disrupts life and I just can't go through that again. Because once all that is in motion and I step into the ER, everything is out of my control and there's no going back. Please help. Please. Is there any way I can go to the ER for momentary safety but make sure that they don't decide to admit me to inpatient. Just put me in a day program or something? Somebody please respond fast. Help me.