I want to run from it all. I feel so completely disconnected... time doesn't even feel real; and my emotions spiral out of control whenever I feel them at all. 

I have it all- a loving family, good friends, a stable job, a decent car that is paid off, a home that I purchased with my significant other earlier this year, and minimal debt otherwise. I'm not happy, though. I don't know who the hell I really am. I don't know why I chose the things I do. I feel like it's all a fraud to make everyone around me happy; and I don't even know what would make ME happy. 

I feel like I don't even know my TRUE self.... but how could I possibly back out of it all?... 

I have these urges to just run away. I want to just pack up and leave. But how could I? How DARE I? 

I don't know what to freaking do. I constantly feel so lost. The only time I feel truly happy now is when I sit in my car before or after work; alone. It's the only time I feel true comfort and peace. I dread going to work, I dread going home, and I dread any other outing or social event. 

I feel like I have no true identity, just a fake ass personality that I display for every person in my life accordingly. 

How do I carry on?