TW/ mention of suicide and health issues-
i’m so so scared. i graduated today and i can’t do this. i don’t know why i worked so hard to graduate early, i don’t want to grow up. everything is moving too fast and i don’t know what to do, i don’t think i can be an adult. i just feel so alone and scared. on top of it all i literally feel like i’m dying. i’m so scared, i am so dizzy and keep seeing flashing lights and my heart is beating so fast and it hurts so bad. i almost fell getting out of my car i feel so unbalanced and lost. i think i have some sort of brain tumor or am going to have a seizure or something. i am so terrified of the doctors i can’t even go to see if anything is wrong. i’ve been having nightmares about hospitals all the time since my last attempt because it was so traumatic and just a bad experience and i can’t do it i literally am so so terrified of doctors now. but i think i’m going to die tonight, on the first night after i graduated. i don’t know how i’m going to make it in life, i just feel so lost and scared.