Hi, I don't have anyone to vent to so I'm writing it here.
I'm in a rehab center— I believe that's what they're called in English, and the psychiatrist told me that she'll take off some of my meds because I'm better. But I'm not, I feel terrible. I can't stop having bad thoughts, and they hunt me all day long, I can't even go to school— they let me go to school, because I start crying and hyperventilating everytime an inconvience comes up.
Like, today I went to school, and the Art teacher started asking me questions about the lesson and I wasn't ready at all so my legs started bouncing and I started shaking and then crying and everyone looked at me. It was awful.
And, at the way "home", the urge to make it all stop and go away was so hard to ignore. I was on the verge of dying— literally.
I can't do this anymore. It feels hopeless, like there's no way out of all this suffering. I'm in rehab so things should have been getting better, right? But no, I'm still here, with my intrusive thoughts and my urge to self-harm— or worse.
When will I be free from all of this?