Struggling to be consistent with work tasks right now due to a smear test I had yesterday. It was so distressing even though it needed to be done. Unfortunately it triggered flashbacks of past childhood sexual abuse. 

I keep dissociating. Keep getting night terrors. 

I'm feeling guilty at work because I'm a people pleaser. I'm still answering messages from people that need help, and I'm ignoring my own boundaries. 

Am I justified in feeling the way I do? I think even me and my managers expected me to calm down after my examination. They expected relief. Instead I feel worse. 

I just need to know that I'm not over reacting. I'm feeling so much pain.