I have a very complicated and busy home life. I met the love of my life two and a bit years ago and we’ve just had a baby. We each have two kids from previous car-crash, abusive relationships.
We are constantly trying to grapple with the fact that during an argument I can’t sleep or eat or think anything other than “why does he not care that he’s hurt me? Why doesn’t he love me enough...”
He goes to bed and to sleep and I will be consumed with rage and heartbreak and I almost always leave. Not very mature or fair. I can’t help but not want to be near him. I feel suicidal any time I argue with anyone.


My moods are so extreme and I often feel empty.
I obsessively worry about why I’m difficult to be around and how everyone hates me.
I am anxious about everything all the time.

I have fallen out with most of my friends.

This week I have obsessed over the idea that I might have BPD. My family have long-running and severe mental health issues.

No one really understands me. I don’t understand me.

It feels that admitting I might have this vindicates every bastardy person from my past including my physically abusive ex/baby daddy.

Please help :(