I've had panic attacks since my grandfather died when I was seven. I am thirty-five now. I had a pretty good handle on it but last year has been spectacularly rough. 2020, amirite? I've been waking up having a panic attack every day for the last three weeks. Then I'm anxious and exhausted all day afterwards and can't focus on anything other than trying not to have another panic attack. I'm so tired. I always told myself it would never win. I've been trying to find a therapist. I've called 24 so far but no-one has any availability. I've been trying all I can manage to take care of myself - eating, showering, meditating, exercising - but I can't leave the house and now I freak out when anyone else does. Yesterday I could feel something inside me shift. I can feel myself losing the will to go on. Or maybe just the will to go on like this. I don't know what to do. What do you do when you feel like that?