I have been in denial for a long time about my BPD diagnosis, it feels so wrong but I know it’s a correct diagnosis and I hate it. Everything about it makes me hate myself even more, all the symptoms just make me feel so pathetic and beyond help. 
But I can’t stop self harming, I’m stuck in an endless cycle of self harm and I can’t get the specialised help I need.

Now I’m on the verge of being an alcoholic and I can’t stop… I know it’s just a form of self harm but that doesn’t stop me.
How do I get out of this cycle of self harm without the appropriate help i.e. DBT