It’s so unfair that I can have a good day and then suddenly something triggers me and everything is bad again. 

Its been a week since my boyfriend of 1,5 years told me he didnt want to be together anymore because he doesnt have the time/energy to commit to a relationship. We still talk every day, im still very much in love with him (he is my first bf and love) and he cares for my wellbeing (i dont think he still loves me tho). I miss his presence so much every single day, especially at night. I realized i put too much pressure on him, my mood was completely impacted on our interactions/conversations. So i told myself im gonna focus on being my own source of happiness and validation. But fuck me its so hard and uncomfortable and right now feels impossible.

Every couple I see, i wonder why that cant be us. Right now its like i will never be good enough for anyone, he was the best ill ever find and ive ruined it. Im so sad and drained, i want to disappear. I just dont know how i can move on from him :( im so tired