My exams begin in ten days and I haven't even begun studying. I am always crippled with an unknown fear. I know where it stems from and what it is, but I am too scared to think about it. Everytime my mother asks me to keep the door to my room open, the fear intensifies. I like noise. It helps me shut out the things I fear. I want to throw away my earphones, reduce the music or the white noise I take help of to live a normal life, where I let in the real sounds around me. My future scares me. It feels like I will have to pay a price if anything good happens to me. I want to be free, I want my life in order. I want to get rid of the fear.