I graduated from a college that I did not want to go to, receiving a degree that I am not passionate about because I couldn't find anything I was passionate about. I made a handful of friends there, but I have not kept up with them since graduating. I live with my parents because there's no way I can afford rent while paying my $400-600/month in student loans.

I work from home and I have an entry-level state government job; I am so privileged to work in my pajamas everyday, but I can't get myself to feel grateful. My job is pointless; it doesn't improve anyone's lives. I just send emails and take calls for eight hours. I have a stale and distant relationship with my parents, who miss how I was a child and clearly dislike the catatonic new personality that I've had for years now.

I hate being home. Once again, I know I'm extremely fortunate to have a place where I don't need to pay rent, but I can't stand being around my parents. They moved while I was in college, so I don't have any friends in our town. I haven't spoke to someone my age in months.

Writing it all out makes me feel like an asshole because it's really not that bad. But I'm so sad all the time. I literally turn off my camera during work meetings so I cry for no reason. I don't have any ambitions or hobbies. My high school/college eating disorder is gradually resurfacing. I feel like I'm gaining weight and it makes me want to hurt myself. I want to quit my job, but I read somewhere that working somewhere for less than 2 years looks bad on a resume. I don' think there's anything I can do to change how miserable I feel on a daily basis. I can't afford to leave my parents; I can't quit my job; I can't make friends. What *can* I do?

I'm pretty sure the only pleasure I get these days is from food and masturbation. I have less control that I did in college, and I just really miss my friends. I miss getting out of class and driving around in someone else's car, smoking with my roommate in our apartment, and eating in parks with my best friend. I knew everything was gonna get worse after graduation, but I couldn't stop it. I saw it coming a mile away and couldn't do anything about it. I feel isolated, ugly, and useless. My already-weak social skills are getting worse; I have no personality and there's nothing interesting about me anymore. My families resent me for being so non-responsive and "mopey." I don't know, I don't know,  I am just sick of life.