Me, all the fucking time.  I can shift where I look for it, but right now it’s men.  Honestly thought I was improving but have felt myself falling off the wagon the past few weeks.  I know what I should and should not be doing, so why am I behaving this way??

I seek emotional (and sexual) validation from men but also know it’s toxic while it’s happening.  In the moment, it feels sooo good, and I stop caring about it being dysfunctional, until I can’t stop myself from caring and wanting more attention than anyone could possibly give another person under reasonable circumstances.  The point of no return, where I know I have to stop and give up on that shiny new FP.

So anyway, I find I will be more likely to hold myself accountable for my behavior in the future if I say things out loud (or type it on a throwaway) and then acknowledge it and send it out in to the Reddit abyss.

Anyone else fighting their vices tonight?