idk if posting here will get me any new information but i thought i’d give it a shot. 

my brother drowned at the end of january. i was on the other corner of the continent when this happened and came back home to be with my family for the memorial service. 

since this happened nothing has been the same  for me emotionally. my bf was so supportive the whole time but i don’t think anyone can really understand how impactful losing someone in such a sudden way is. someone who has always had such a large presence in your mind. i had a really complicated relationship with my brother but i always looked up to him and aspired to be like him. 

idk anyone with bpd that well. the one girl i know who has it doesn’t live around me and has never experienced something like this. so, as people with bpd, how do you guys deal with grief? i only just now started going to therapy and i had three sessions of entrance counseling with three different people so i’ve just relived a different portion of emotional trauma each time and haven’t gotten anywhere yet.
anyway advice from you guys or describing any experiences with sudden loss would be helpful.