Okay so I just started a new job and it’s going well. Everyone is super nice and I’m not super stressed out by the workload. My main source of anxiety is the social side of things and communicating.

One time I said something that was incorrect and I was so anxious that I started digging my nails into my thigh under the table and scratching pretty hard. Again in a meeting today everyone had said something apart from me and I felt so anxious and annoyed at myself that I started deeply scratching my stomach area. Sometimes when everyone in the office is laughing and joking and I haven’t said anything I just feel like going into the bathroom and hitting myself. Before working I never used to do/ think these things. This is my first job after college and I’ve always been a pretty quiet and anxious person. In those moments I just get so frustrated with myself that I just turn to punishing myself bc I feel like I deserve it for being so damn shy and not being able to say/ do things that come so naturally to everyone else in the team. I don’t want to keep doing this to myself but my anxiety is just manifesting itself in worse ways and I don’t really know what to do. When I’m not anxious I wouldn’t dream of hitting myself of scratching my skin so hard, like it hurts a lot, but when I’m in that state it just seems okay? I’ve only done this on two occasions but I feel like it could get worse over time :(