Life is so fucking shitty. I have 0 motivation to do anything at all to a point where i’m almost bedridden. The only times i get up would be to eat or to bathe, that’s it. I hate where i live because there’s absolutely no way i’ll be able to handle the amount of pressure and stress. I’m Asian and i fucking hate Asian culture to the core. If guns were readily accessible i’d probably have already shot myself. Recently i’ve spent so much time thinking of ways to “go” that some nights i even dream about actually doing it. Then, i wake up feeling 5x worse knowing i don’t have the courage to jump or hang myself. It’s such a sad reality when you end up only finding solace while thinking about dying. I am the epitome of uselessness.