DAE ever feel this crushing sense that you are too heavy to hold? 
I guess this belief has manifested for me in many more ways than one. I’ve always believed that I just simply wasn’t good enough, that men never leave because they don’t want me, that I’m not interesting enough or worthy enough to be in relationship with. 
I discovered tonight through a heavy conversation with my favorite person (also my best friend) that it’s actually really heavy to hold me. Any of me. 
He’s so incredibly strong for me. He takes on all of my emotional shit and doesn’t project any of it back because he feels that “trauma moves forward”. 
I always thought intimacy was heavy, emotional, longing, painful. I have always brought that into my relationships. That’s why they never last. 
I’ve been putting therapy on the back burner, but this little thing is enough to get me to go. The pain of knowing he feels heavy from my intense emotional ups and downs stabs me in the heart. 
Yes, venting- but I would also love for y’all to respond back in solidarity or sharing your own experience with this.