Something just happened that caused me to get a panic attack (and still having one atm but can control it a tiny bit), all I feel about this situation is sadness, frustration and suppressed anger. I'm insanely ashamed to say this but because the pressure I felt about this was too high, I impulsively decided to &gt;!try to bruise myself on purpose!&lt; 
&gt;!to note, I have a history of self harm but I've been clean for a long time.!&lt;

As I said, the pressure I felt was just way too high and it felt like I just had to, although if I were to think about it with a more clear mind, so without during a panic attack, I know I wouldn't have done it to myself because it's just not worth it. I now also feel weak because I just did that although I knew I shouldn't have done it.


I'm sorry, I just needed to rant about this. I feel disappointed in myself