I feel like a wilting flower. Most days it feels as if i'm rotten inside. Especially in my chest area where my heart sits. It feels as if my heart has been blackened and charred from the depths it's endured, both good and bad. All the electricity and pulse that comes with a heart beat has been drained out and all that's left is an empty void, a black hole sucking any low vibration into it, and it's grown so big I can't stop it. I feel my black heart aching out and radiating darkness while at the same time I grasp for any hint of light, I just want to be light.

Then my mind is numb from overthinking. This combination is the most uncomfortable thing ever. Being emotionally empty, and mentally numb. I feel like an actual  zombie. All day long I wished for someone to just do the deed for me. I wished to be someone's victim, as dark as that sounds.. Somehow, despite all this, I have the tiniest sliver of hope. I don't know why. This just can't be it for me and my life. Emptiness and Numbness, is this really it for me.