I recently realized that I want children. my life situation is a mess so I'm not in a place to choose to have children - either my own or adopt a kid, but if I could I'd do it in a heartbeat, even if that meant to be a single parent - no stopping me there, don't even see much of a problem. so this is more of a theoretical discussion for future reference.

anyway, one area of this whole idea where I do see a problem is my mental state. will I be able to *not* shout at my child? will I be able to *not* recreate my own childhood trauma on the kid? I mean, I know what good parenting is, I know how to do it and I want to - and I'm sure that's what I'll do 90% of the time but being a horrible parent even for 10% of the time can be traumatizing enough. so I'm kinda worried here.

I'd honestly think this wanting a child is totally one of my 'fads' but it's what the human race is supposed to do with their time, so I thought I should take this seriously.