my whole young adult life, i’ve been stuck in a cycle.

i’m too depressed to cultivate my own identity &gt; i have no sense of self &gt; i feel empty &gt; i find a new fp &gt; i become codependent with them so i can derive my sense of self from them &gt; i smother them with my codependency &gt; they leave &gt; i get very sad &gt; i’m too depressed to cultivate my own identity.

and it just sort of loops like that forever. my codependency makes me a total drag &amp; impossible to be around for long periods of time. i’m trying to remedy that, but i know it would require developing my own self-worth, and how can i have self-worth when i’m pretty much a ghost? when there’s nothing to me? what is there to respect?

everyone i talk to is like, “just get out there and start doing things!” and i know that’s what i should do, but it’s so overwhelming and confusing and i don’t know where to start. my lack of identity makes me so boring. i feel like i’m behind everyone else. how can i just throw myself out into the world in this state?

have any of you successfully cultivated a consistent sense of who “you” are? one that doesn’t completely change every time you’re in a new environment or get a new fp? how do i start becoming a real person? baby steps appreciated.