Today I woke up not feeling my best, when this happens I spend most of my morning and rest of the day disassociating and I have to force myself to do stuff. Before knowing I had BPD I though this was just lack of motivation and when I first heard of this term (disassociating) I though that it never happened to me. Now I am aware of what my mind is doing and try to soothe myself to get me out of that funk or sometimes waste my day doing absolutely nothing even tho I know what I need to do to get out of that mind state. Does anyone else experiences this? I know it is due to stress but I feel like I am fighting with my mind most of the time and the fact that I can identify what is going on and when it happens makes me question myself. I feel disconnected from reality, nothing is in focus, I have a mess in my room and it would make me feel better instantly if I tidy around yet I don’t do it and prefer to suffer, my eyes see but don’t focus, I feel crazy, I feel dizzy, don’t get out of bed for hours and I am not bored but I do nothing not even watch a TV show or a movie and if I put it on I don’t even pay attention to it so why even bother. This only happens this intensely when I’m alone obviously but I spend most of my days alone and it worries me.