I feel the world pressed up against me. Its a level of pain and despair I havent experienced before. I fear ill never be truly at peace again.

I want to break down and cry, and to kick and scream my way out of the chains that are tying me down. I miss being a child. I miss living. I miss me.

I still don't want to die, but I can connect with people who do. They are like a boat passing by, close enough to wave hello to. I wonder what it's like to see the shoreline.