I Have a lying problem, and a huge one.

&amp;#x200B;

We all lie, but for some fucking reason i do it more and worse, ive lied about having autism, about how i looked, and were im from, and my age (all of these are online), and i am ashamed of it, i always thought: nah the quilt wont catch up to me. Today is the day where that guilt has hit me like a bus. i feel incredibly guilty for all the lies ive told and now considering suicide for the third or forth time this month, why do i do this, ive lied to seem quirky or to get people to see me as unique, but all that guilt has cought up to me now, im incredibly lonely and need someone, so i head online and lie about myself to get people to like me. this has fucked me up greatly and mow im super depressed and i want to die, how does one fuck up this bad? If anyone who knows me sees this, they probably hate me now, but i fully deserve it, i deserve all the pain and suffering that comes my way, i deserve to be treated like shit after what ive done, i dont deserve anything good, i dont deserve friends, family, or anyone that loves me,  so to those ive lied to, im sorry, and you deserve to hate and despise me forever, ive lied about so much shit that once they find out, im fucked totally, why, why do i do this, is there something wrong with me?