I'm really freaking out and I don't know what to do. I've basically burnt every bridge I've ever had, and I'm completely alone now and I don't know who to talk to or even what to do from here. I know it's for the best because I feel like I'm a toxic friend and I shouldn't put my shit onto other people, and if I did have someone the same thing would just keep happening and it would end badly.






I've been home alone for the past month because my family is on holiday and I haven't been out of the house in 6 months. I just don't want to be crazy. I was relatively fine up until this year, I just had troubles with debilitating social anxiety but ever since I've been introduced to BPD, it's become so relatable and I think it's almost become a self-fulfilled prophecy. Especially reading that it first starts to appear during early adulthood? I just turned 21 I'm so upset, I don't want this to be my life. I cut out everyone and left everything for the better, but I don't know what to do now. I can't go back.



I'm from Australia, I don't know how to go about getting help, I think I really need help but I'm scared to ask. I'm scared to even think about asking, I can't even go out of the house. I don't know what to do, everyone left me or I left them and they didn't care.




I know how stupid this sounds I'm fully aware of everything and how stupid my actions are and how stupid I sound but I just can't stop.