My sister exhibits an array of symptoms of NPD. A couple years ago I researched a bunch of personality disorders and realized how much my sister had behaviors of some of them particularly NPD. While me and my sister both have bouts of acting aggressive (I am diagnosed Bipolar Disorder) her aggressive is pervasive and is typically in response to situations than it appears to be episodic and mood like. Her behaviors are concise and act up particularly in situations of stress. Her responses are always heavily disproportionate and outlandish. She also is a major instigator and antagonizer, she often appears goes into situations with the intention of arguing and having a big blow out with everyone. 

She has a distorted sense of self importance and constantly berates my parents about how they never gave her enough or that they didnt do anything for her. She constantly tries to talk about her successful ness and is always attempting to put other people’s life choices down. I was always the “favorite” in her head and so she often attacked me and constantly try to pit me against her all the time, she seeks out arguments with me and tries to assert and authority over me and in her head a “fairness”. She truly believes that she’s been slighted and treated unfairly by everyone but she has gotten no lesser than any of us and we had a pretty good middle class life growing up, we always had everything we needed. My parents aren’t perfect but they are not like how my sister makes her life out to be.

She forms ideas and opinions about other people in her head and essentially believes everyone else is doing everything wrong. She constantly gets mad when someone isn’t doing something how she thinks it should be. And she forms opinions about people’s lives that hold no basis in reality. Example: my mom likes to spend a lot of time with child, she chooses to and begs to have him come over and loves it as most grandparents do. My sister then says to her “I’m sorry your stuck with him all the time” and my sister constantly try to imply to me that I don’t take care of my child and I pawn him off to my mom, which is VERY far from the truth.

Everyone else around her is all on the same page about how she acts except her. She doesn’t think how she behaves is wrong at all even though she almost always is the one who starts arguments with other people. She majorly antagonizes people and then acts like she’s the victim of the situation. 

She also has lately been very obsessed about her appearance and has recently had injections done on her face. She often goes after me about my appearance and says things like “you should be a plus size model” when I’m like a size 6.... she calls me “flat chested”. And often says things about my body that bother me. I have eventually learned that she is a rather insecure person and nearly all of her actions and behaviors go back to this. Her anger and aggression seems to always boil down to her projecting and image of being superior to others and her superiority complex is a mental way for her to avoid dealing with how insecure of a person she is. She also needs constant attention.. 

She fits all these classic symptoms 

Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

Requires excessive admiration

Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

Is exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

Lacks empathy, e.g., is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes


So how do I address this? My family keeps saying she needs therapy. My mom often makes excuses for her behavior but still thinks she needs to see someone. I would not want to see her falsely diagnosed with a mood disorder when she clearly has a personality disorder.