You know that fun stuff when your fp is also your gf and they "betray" you by dumping? Yep, it is it.

Some can also relate to diving heads down into work to forget the pain and emptiness.
I just lost that ability to become a workaholic.

And I don't know what to do.

I have no friends. I don't trust strangers. And I feel like I can't trust anyone anymore(why tf then it didn't apply when I wrote it here? Dunno)

Hating self and feeling someone's love with loving someone is the huge tasks that are very hard to achieve. And I need to achieve it somehow. 

Bruh, mental disorders is a huge pain in the ass. Send help and vodka.