Hi everyone,

I do not personally have bipolar, but I’m clinically depressed/anxiety disorder. My bp1 partner and I have been together for about a year now, and I have mainly seen her through depressive episodes with some moments of mixed/hypomania. We have been living together for about 6 months. When she is in a depressive episode she tends to withdraw from me, needs a LOT of space (sometimes sleeping alone/time alone in her room/etc.) and I am happy to accommodate because I know this helps her decompress and get energy to be around people again. I’m having a hard time expressing my needs while she is in an episode because it feels like it falls on deaf ears, but I also understand she’s going through a lot and she still tries. I’m anxiously attached and my primary love language is physical touch/words of affirmation - so in these moments I struggle with the space even though I know she needs it. She has been very open with me about her bipolar and how it manifests, and she never takes her moods out on me or makes me feel responsible to “fix” or puts her moods on me. I know it’s better for me to in these moments to be alone because I can focus on myself and not be so worried about how she’s doing. I want to continue to be the best partner I can be for her and support her, but I’m trying not to feel resentment at times when she’s in an episode and can’t think about me in the way she can when she’s more stable. I try to help by cleaning up her room, doing household chores, getting small things that make me think of her, telling her she’s lovable and worthy of love. I love her so much and want to help whenever and however I can. This has turned into more of a vent, but what I’m looking for more understanding on is how much space should I give and what are some tips on supporting partners in a depressive episode while still caring for yourself?