As soon as I open up about something I feel bad about having said anything at all, good or bad. I wish I liked everyone but I dont and when I mention something I dont like that someone did I immediately feel bad after. When I talk to people about my self harm or suicidal thoughts it goes well and they give me good advice but I immediately wish I never said anything after because I don’t want to seem negative and sad. When I tell people about something that happened I immediately wonder if it actually happened and if im just making things up. I always doubt what I know I know. Overall this is very exhausting and just adds to my suicidal ideation. I have no idea why I do this.