im in a very loving relationship. he loves me, I love him so so so much. we’re also a younger couple, we got together when we turned 18, so we have a bunch of teenage hormones but, that being said, I still have horrible BPD and a multitude of other mental illnesses. he struggled with depression as a younger teenager but that’s the extent of it. he tries his absolute best to deal with me and my meltdown or outbursts. I know it’s exhausting for him, but as much as I try to let him vent or try to get him to talk about how he’s feeling, he never wants to point out my toxic behavior, because he knows my cycle of 
1: someone criticizes me for any major or minuscule reason and I LASH out, (one of the things I struggle with the most with my bpd is outbursts and meltdown, especially in public, but I haven’t had one in a few months so wooo me! small victory. )
2: my lashing out turns into self hated and regret
3: which 99% of the time turns into my self harming behavior.

And he wants me to be as safe as I can at all times, so if me having a relapse can be prevented by him not calling me out for something that annoys him, then he’ll do that. 
and I love him so so so much for wanting the best for me, deep down, it hurts me more knowing that I’m the reason he doesn’t feel comfortable expressing his complaints with me and expressing his feelings. 
Sometimes I just debate wether I should break up with him to save his feelings for when my BPD ultimately gets too much to handle. I don’t want to deal with the pain of losing a FP again. I don’t think I could handle it. 
But then I have to use my DBT skills and think rational about our relationship. It’s perfectly fine, we just started renting a new place, have an amazing cat, and he’s been hinting at proposing! 
But the deepest more cynical side wants to just save myself the heartbreak and stay single forever. 
If you can’t tell I just want someone to tell me they relate. 
TL;DR can someone with BPD in a relationship tell me if I’m just being irrational and self sabotaging or if my fears have some truth behind them?