this is my very first reddit post. Just wanting some help really. very recently my depression has gotten very bad. All I feel is dread and sadness. its hard for me to reach out for help from friends and family cause I'm from the south and don't want them to think I'm a complete nutcase. I just cant stop thinking about self harm and suicide. I think about it so gd much.  like I just hope that I don't wake up tomorrow. I was just reaching out to see if anyone has anything they do or think about to help them get through these thoughts. Anything helps. its just starting to get too much. and I've just started absolutely hating life. HATING this shit. like what's the point.