I'm listening to all my sad music and laying in bed staring at the cieling currently. I just went through my socials and unadded people...I unadded some of my best friends in the world, the thing is they ditched me senior year and so I figured what's the point of holding on for a "hey, how ya doing" text...

As I clicked unadd on so many people, I just started crying.

I know it's cringy, but I feel like Holden from Catcher in the Rye.

I don't want to grow up guys, I'm so scared. I made some big mistakes during high school and have some horrible memories, but I also have some AMAZING memories.

I've been trying to forget high school and it hurts so much, I wish I could just look back with fondness and not the horrible things I did and the things others did to me.

I'm going home for fall break next week and I'm scared to go home. My family is amazing, however seeing my bed and my hang out spots is just going to make me remember stuff. I WANT to remember the good, but the bad overpowers it because the end of senior year was horrible due to my own actions. God, it hurts so much. 

Anyways, I'm entering a depressive stage. Wish me luck.