Every year I have so much anxiety around my birthday. I think it’s about me being disappointed about not really ever feeling special… I feel like I have always been let down besides maybe 2-3 birthdays as an adult.
Last year my husband ruined my 30th birthday by just being flat out selfish. I had a dinner planned and hotel room booked (my dads gift to me). We were to drop our kids off to MiL so while they were home, I was packing their things, my things and whatever we needed for a nights stay… he didn’t help me at all and was playing in his videos game up until it was time to go… I was already extremely irritated and frantically trying to get all of our ducks in a row that I decided I’ll do everything besides pack his stuff bc that was THE LEAST he could do. 

We ended up being extremely late and I had to cancel dinner and did nothing but ended up going to sleep after fighting…still to this day that was one of the biggest fights we have ever had. I am actually enraged as I type this bc I can’t believe he would be so careless and selfish to waste my birthday like that… 
Not to mention, the room was expensive as heck with room for people to come hangout after dinner we could have just gone to holiday inn 🙄 

Anyway… there’s more to that story but I’ll leave it at that. Just know that I questioned a lot of things on that night…

We are going Hot Springs this year so I do feel like he is wanting to redeem himself from last year but I am still worried that something will happen and this will just be another year that my birthday goes sour…

 However, even before 30 birthdays have not been fun… is birthday anxiety normal? Lol