I was recently diagnosed with bpd, maybe 3 or 4 months ago. When my therapist and my psychologist both agreed that I have BPD it was almost scary for me because I didn't know anything about it I didn't even know it existed. I did some research on it and it first or kept telling myself that's not me that doesn't sound anything like me but the more and more I try and look into myself the more and more it feels like it really is me like I have a severe case of it. It almost feels like a drug because I feel like I am addicted two the way I act I feel like I'm addicted to pushing people away but at the same time trying to draw them in. Just recently ended my relationship with my FP it's killing me inside because even though it's been two months since she's moved out we're still sexually active I still stay over at your house because we have kids together and she and I both want me to be in their lives but at the same time I feel like it's unhealthy for them luckily for me she's willing to help me learn DBT skills being that I'm not much of a reader she's going to help me by reading the books and kind of regurgitating the information to me I wish that I could just magically heal myself but I know that that's not going to happen a reading some of the posts in this subreddit has already helped me a lot it has helped me put things and actions in words that I never really was able to do before and for the first time I feel like I truly identify with other people in this world I wanted to thank everybody here for being so open about your BPD because I truly feel like this could really help me and sorry for the long-winded Miss of this post I know it's not really saying much but I just really felt like I had to get that off my chest