I’m bipolar, I was diagnosed a few years ago. Meds really helped, I became more stable, and although I screwed up every deadline I had, I actually managed to get projects done. It’s was going alright, but then the war in Ukraine hit. My parents were Ukrainian, I’ve been there a lot, seen the people. And I lost it. I was never too adept at social media, more of a flow of consciousness thing for me, but here, I just went off - “kill them” is probably the least offensive thing I wrote about the Russian invaders. I mean, every bad thought I had, I just wrote it. I would read the news all day, see these horrific photos of dead Ukrainian children, and write something awful as a reaction. Not once, not twice, but in the course of months. With every Facebook post I lost first followers, then friends — even those who were very much anti-Russia.  My wife unfollowed me. I’ve always had a problem with empathy, but here, I just started spewing fascism, or something. dead Russians - just some really nasty stuff. My wife and I started having fights about it constantly. I kept trying to prove to her that I was right, which made me even more manic. It was like I was having a prolonged Charlie Sheen moment. It kind of went away, I deleted all my accounts, but now, texts to my friends mostly go unanswered, I’m deeply ashamed, the shit I wrote comes up in searches (I’m a vaguely public persona). I think I’m cancelled now. Everyone else is doing positive things, and all I’ve done is donate money and share my deeply anti-humanistic thoughts that plagued me. No idea what to do. Never thought I had it [the compete lack of humanity] in me. I don’t write these bad things anymore. Every day I’m like, how could I have done that. And I hate myself for it.