Girlfriend (on and off 4 years) broke up with me in an argument we had. Never has it been this serious. Said she wasn’t in love anymore…how im getting so bad im addiction and don’t care about anyone and anything and she can’t do it (she just got out depression doesn’t want to go down hill again) she then didn’t give me any time to say a word. Then blocked me on every single social media possible….I went to insane (on coke and very VERYYY manic rn) I said things that is just beyond me. Described in detail how I will kill her, me and/or the next girl she goes too. It’s not just oh ya im being crazy rn like how we usually feel….I never felt this insane and so serious about hurting someone and not caring about jail in my life. 

Mind you, the only reason I didn’t end my life those years was only AND ONLY because I had this hope we would find each-other. We did…and now look. She was the only person I’ve been in love with and reason I officially knew I liked women as well. 

The obsession with her has gone too far and scary. I love crazy and obsessive…like A LOT but even the way I act….you guys would be appalled on the way I act/acted it is unbelievability psychotic 

I also stopped taking my pills over a month ago due to addiction. 

I genuinely think if she goes to someone else I will hurt her or worse….im admitting this because I have never been so obsessed/in love with someone to do something this crazy. Where I believe I will take serious physical action.

It has gotten to the worse. I will either end up in jail, killing my self, or oding from doing so much coke in a day everyday (very small…take too much for my size)

Worse part is…where ik it’s hopeless and nothing will help is that deep down, I don’t care about me using drugs and I know when I say I’ll stop I won’t. I don’t want to or plan on it either. Also deep down I love the crazy feeling so much, that I legitimately think of I went to jail if something was to happen, I would be totally fine because I am NOT okay in the head

obsession in bpd is unreal…maybe it’s the bpd and something else…? I never see someone with it be so aggressive and certain about hurting someone else other then themselves 

I’m convincing myself I’m a psychopath

Someone else me or say something idc. Lay it out honestly. I need to know the truth if I’m literally a psychopath or what I need/need to do to stop this.