
Not too sure how to start but thank you to anyone reading firstly.

I feel like I cannot feel. I feel like I have the inability to attach to anybody outside of my immediate family consistently. I feel like I have awareness of person and am usually not wrong, nonetheless I have no reaction when I am dealing with any of these things and if I do it’s super delayed and it just me crying randomly. More so will randomly cry and it be about why does it seem like that or about the death of loved ones in my life.

This is all confusing to me because it doesn’t affect my day to day, just those random cries. Im 23 and I have attained salary upwards of 30k and then quit that and now make music and clothes for the past year im very thankful for that. But I just include that to show how much it does not affect my daily. I have time for myself all the time and I really wish I would get to the bottom of why I feel so hollow. I have sex, I have money, I love my family, I love art and my crafts and my life honestly, where I live. But still hollow. I understand effort, I understand problem and solution I understand concepts. I just don’t understand why can’t I feel certain things as much as I would like my brain is unable even if I want it to.

I don’t beat myself up for it, I don’t pity myself or make those around me feel bad about it, I don’t think bad thought. 

I just wanna know if I ever will feel different, and does this even have a name lol. Thank you again.