I'm 25 y/o female with POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia) and MCAS(mast cell activation). So for awhile my doctor's thought I might have depression and anxiety, then they thought ADHD (which turned out to be chronic appendicitis), now I'm back to anxiety with maybe depression, possibly bipolar or schizophrenia. 

On Wellbutrin, I was left constantly fatigued and angry. Cymbalta caused seizures. I can no longer take amphetamines after my appendix was removed because I crash within an hour on the lowest dose. Modafinil did absolutely nothing but raise my heart rate and make me dizzy. My previous psych had me try Seroquel and Paxil which leveled out my mood enough so o could function but I was still super exhausted and I gained a ton of weight really fast. I switched psychiatrist after a move and was started on Lexapro and Elavil. Still couldn't sleep well and my moods were all over the place. Now I've just started abilify and Klonopin at night with 20mg of Lexapro during the day. 

I'm not sure if it's the medication changes or just not knowing what normal feels like, but I just feel like I'm existing and nothing else. I'm not depressed, not anxious, I can do what I need to do, but I get mentally exhausted pretty quickly now. My psychiatrist is waiting to address whether or not I have paranoia or delusions until after we get my mood stabilized. I guess this is stable but I'm not really where I would like to be. 

I'm not sure if I want advice or encouragement or what tbh. I'm just tired of not feeling 'right'. Not having a diagnosis leaves me kind of unsure what I should be expecting out of my medications and I really don't know how long it takes for any of this stuff to make an impact. I am working with a therapist but it's slow going because she can only do so much at once.