I want to start this post off by saying I hope you all are treating yourselves kindly today. It’s a grim world and it can be even more difficult on the inside.
I’m looking for support, sympathy, or someone to tell me they’re feeling this way too and what they do to move on. I’m a young adult (21F) in a happy relationship(long distance for the time being) in my own apartment (safe space with my cat) with a sustainable professional and social life in a city I love. Despite all of this, every morning I’ve woken up for the past two weeks has felt like an endless chore. I feel exhausted and unmotivated to do anything, then spiral into shame for my “laziness” and begin to hate myself for not doing more about my situation. I’ve dealt with chronic depression all my life, am currently unmedicated, and am so frustrated that I don’t seem to have the internal mechanisms necessary to make life feel meaningful or worth living. I know we just have “days like that” and that the emptiness will come back… I’m not feeling suicidal, but I do wonder what I’m living for when I seem to have lost touch with everything that made me feel alive. The worst part is that I even begin to wonder whether this feeling of stagnancy has to do with me being in a stable relationship—and then I hate myself more for beginning to project blame onto my loving, patient, understanding partner. 
I don’t even feel like I’m in a hole, just like I’m lying on the floor listlessly and can’t be fucked to get up. Nothing feels real: dissociation is something I’ve experienced a lot but never sought help for directly. I also have ADHD and am seeing a psychiatrist in a week, hoping that being prescribed adderall again will reinstill the functionality I need to make it through the day “productively” or at least regularly … any words of advice help, however harsh or hard to hear they might be. Thanks for reading.