So , back when i was 15 , I met this sweet guy ,let's call him Lou(18 at the time).

We went out together sometimes and then 2 things happened. I got a Diagnostic of Bordeline Personality Disorder and he got Schizophrenia. 

I remember telling the counsellor at school what was happening and the first thing he told me was " You get out of that situation, you leave, there is nothing  you can do". I remember crying.( With time, people got told the same thing when i spoke about my BPD. )I never told Lou that. In fact , we never spoke of his diagnosis or mine.

Then recently i reached out to him ,we kind of got back together..But now i feel lost. He is charming, kind and he is sweet. I tell you , I was hoping fo a reconnection for so long. 

But now i am near 30 and back then i didn't understood the severity for him. I want to help him. The problem is that he is  into magic mushroom and Cannabis. I feel like i saw him change since the beginning of this week. I am afraid. I saw the difference..He took a joint then 30 minutes later I was asking some questions and he didn't respond. 

He Talked about groceries stores poisoning people. (Do i say it's not possible or do i agree?) We were watching a movie then he suddenly stopped it and just began to play a game on his computer as if i wasn't there. 

I was afraid also because i dissociate when i get stressed out . It began to manifest itself . Lou didn't respond when i asked a question,again.  

Today i sent him a message telling that i love him. I got no response but i know it's not about me. What worry me right now is that I won't be able to help..He love taking psychedelics. He is vulnerable , He trade often his belongings. He traded something big for a little knick knack..

I don't know what to do. If i leave him , i'd feel like a coward and an asshole because i have BPD , i know how hard it is to be left because some side of a diagnosis are unbearable. I don't want to leave him. I love him and i'm sad. I want to understand, I want to know what to say and what to do.

I am not even sure if traditional advices i heard about couples are okay ,like saying "it's me or the drugs"..or even "Tough Love". 

All i know is that i want him to be safe and us being happy together. I never stopped loving him.