I feel like I checked out of the relationship a while ago but he was like a security blanket, a comfort to me and him being gone I feel like some part of me is missing. I don’t miss him per se but I miss the comfort of having him around, I miss falling asleep together and spending time together. He treated me horribly sometimes but I still want it back. Thinking about him moving on makes me feel sick, I know it’s just the initial shock and it’ll wear off with time and I’ll move on but right now it’s hell on earth.