So a few days ago my mom found a malnourished 4 week old kitten in the parking lot of her school and took it the vet. They told her he just needed some food and he'd probably do much better, and to take it a day or two later for scans and tests to be sure. She brough it home later that night and I got to see it when I woke up. He was the cutest kitten i had ever seen, and it had perked up since the day before. It seemed fine and i spent the entire day with it. I went to the store with it to get it food and supplies, watched tv with it, fed it, and it even slept on my shoulder while I played videogames. It always tried to climb your shoulder, and really seemed to like my dog, which confused it. But the rest of my family fell deeply in love with him as well, especially my dad. My brother had slept with it the night before and was going to his friends house, so i was going to sleep with him. The problem is that I move A LOT when I sleep. This cat loved humans I guess because it had been friendly with us all day and was meowing a lot when i made the decision to have it sleep on a dog bed on the floor, but soon fell asleep. I knew that if I were to roll onto it when I fell asleep it would not be good. I went to sleep and woke up about three times that night, and checked up on it each time. The final time I woke up it was about 5am, and this time it wouldnt move its legs. It moved its head and was breakthing, but not anything else. Me and my sister woke my parents, and we spent around 40 minutes trying to figure out what it was. We tried feeding it, putting honey on its lips, (not for long cause it was having trouble swallowing) and some other stuff. It also bit my dad so he had to go get rabies shots. My dad was relucant to take it to the emergency vet, cause we really didnt have the money but eventually we decided to go, but it was about 30 minutes away so it was a bit of a drive. On the way their I was very scared cause I realized how attached I had gotten. About 10 minutes away from the vet while I was watching it, I soon noticed it was breathing slower and slower, its breath fading away until it stopped. We pulled over to make sure, but we knew he was gone. We still took it to get it tested for rabies and make sure it was gone. I cried the entire time. I know crying is definitely normal, especially because of how attached I got. 

The problem is it has been 2 days since this happened and I am still crying the all day, and I only knew it for about 24 hours. I keep thinking about it and I keep getting more sad. I also keep rethinking the memory if I had chosen to take it to the vet earlier, or if it would've woken up and starting breakthing again, and it makes it worse and worse. I dont know of this is normal for how short I knew it, and should just try to move on, or if I should do something. Another thing is I have a dog that I have had since 1st grade and have loved it more than anything, and am worried how sad I will be the day it passes. I know most of you aren't therapists, but am wondering how you got through pet trauma and if it can help me. Thanks for listening and I also dont know if this is the right subreddit for this. (Does this sound like depression?) Also, I would post a picture of him, but this sub doesnt seem to allow me too.