I’m a stay at home mom to a one year old, and though I love my son, sometimes—like today, I feel this debilitating depression. Well, kind of. It’s not so debilitating that I can’t take care of my son. I never show him how I’m feeling. And honestly, some days I feel fantastic, and super optimistic. But other days, again like today, even though I’m able to do everything I need to do to take care of my son and my home, I feel so very, very low.

I feel almost like there’s a hollow pit in my stomach that I can’t make go away. I feel super negative and hopeless about the future, as if every day will always be the same and that I’ll never accomplish anything. I feel unattractive and unmotivated, and like all I want to do is sit down and cry. 

Obviously this isn’t healthy and I don’t want to be someone who delays getting help, because I don’t want to negatively impact my son or to just be an unhealthy person in general. BUT, I don’t have any family who lives nearby because we moved kind of recently for my husband’s job. And because of that, I don’t have friends here yet. I tried reaching out to several therapists, but they’re not taking new clients. I tried reaching out to the postpartum.net, but they just recommended me to the therapists I’ve already checked out on my own, so that’s not gonna work. 

I tried going to story time, and mommy and me exercise classes, and though I’ve met some acquaintances, it really didn’t make me feel that much better. I’m naturally an introvert, and sometimes those types of groups make me feel like I’m expending more energy, but not in a good way. 

So basically, I want to try to figure out if there’s a way for me to manage my depression on my own. I don’t want to rely on outside people, whether they be family members, potential friends, or therapists. I just want to figure this out myself, so that I can feel more fulfilled and just better about things, especially when I hit days like today where I feel super low. 

So my question is, to those who have dealt with depression before, what are some practical things you can do on your own, that help you manage your low days? Thank you. I really do appreciate any advice you can give.