anger is definitely among my most hated emotions to experience. not only is it just a generally sucky feeling,  i always end up feeling like a horrible person for it.

i’m terrified of being hated. i’ve never been an angry person, i don’t get angry very often; but when i do, its very intense. i wasn’t very popular in my childhood and was called all sorts of things that feed into my insecurity today. pair that with the stigma against BPD and i truly feel like a bad, irredeemable person when i’m angry. it feels like confirmation that everyone was right, i AM a furious unhinged monster