This is part vent, part me just heavily relying on this community lately to feel understood...

I’m just so so exhausted from constant anxiety/rapid thinking.

I scrutinise every single thing I do, seek validation (still!!!) way too much from my support network and just all around am finding it hard to just believe I am ‘good’.

I’m constantly praised at work and somehow just believe I am being judged for sharing my story (said I had ADHD rather than BPD which is part true and that I was diagnosed with ODD as a young girl) even though I’ve chosen a field in which this is a strength and like, exactly the reason I’m very intuitive in this role (helping kids with mental health issues).

Nope. It’s 1am and I’m in tears feeling like I’m embarrassing myself, not ‘normal’ enough, like I’ll be ‘found out’ for my past behaviours before therapy, sobriety etc.

I’m a perfectionist and someone who absolutely wants to be perceived as ‘smart’, ‘pretty’, ‘interesting’ and yet no amount of being told this ever fills me.

You all know this feeling right? 

Wtf reality show can I watch to distract from this haha?!??! 

Xxx