i noticed that I do can talk to people so yay for tha.

But once the interaction becomes personal in any way.
I get terrified.

i don't quite know what it is. (i have some ideas but they don't seem right)

I have been burned before, with friendships, so maybe it's that, but I don't know if I think I'm the problem (like I'll do something wrong) or if others are the problem.

I notied I had this problem when I wanted to socialize like I would go on social media designed for making friends, I would talk to people andthen I would ghost them, feel bad when they send me text like 'are you ok' 'why aren't you answering' and then I would hate myself and delete my account. And then I would have those panic attacks cursing myself for being such a bad friend.

I had experienced, that my friends would turn out to be horrible or that I was catfished. or that I was projecting my feeling on to them and being horrible to them. the latter I only realized was that bad much later in life, in therapy.

I'm making this post mostly as a sort of annecdote that I can come to later like to remind me of this.

This is the type of anxiety that I never saw someone talk about