Well...the title says it all. I feel like only deeply fucked up people want to be in a relationship with me.  I'm referring to someone else who's personality disordered/mentally ill in a way that can end up being toxic (i.e., NPD/traits) and/or someone who exploits me and the 'good' that comes with BPD, like being very empathetic to people's pain and thus more easily manipulated. 

It just really hurts on multiple levels also realizing that some part of me feels like I don't *deserve* a 'normal' relationship, either--and that's why these things probably work out the way they do for me. 

And because of my problems, it's next to impossible for me to even accept love from someone 'normal' when it's there, whether it's from a family member or a friend. I appreciate them caring but the warmth never sinks in...I still feel so alone, like I don't have anyone when hey! Look, there's somebody right beside me...but because I can't feel it, it's like they're not even offering me anything...

Anyway, wow. It's the weekend and here I am, feeling more fucked up than ever. Good times.