i (20F) have dated my bf (29M) for exactly a year n it’s been great. i have a history w/ self harm, eating disorders and substance abuse and he knows that. 
he sometimes says how i don’t talk to him when i’m upset. a couple times when i’ve tried he’s said how other people are going through worse stuff and i know that’s true but it makes me feel like how i feel doesn’t matter (i’ve argued w him ab it but he jus says “from personal experience not many things are as bad as they seem” etc). i’m sorta going through stuff right now like restrictive eating and SH but i don’t tell him about it bc i feel like he’s just gonna make it seem like it’s not that bad. n the sick part is that i want to get bad so maybe he sees how shit the situation actually is. 
idk what to do anymore. he’s the only person i have in my life besides my dad and my dad wouldn’t care if i told him about what’s going on. 
i’ve told my bf ab my bpd but he doesn’t understand it and hasn’t even made an effort to try. he thinks i’m just angry and impulsive all the time n then will be like “you never talk to me so”