I was dumped six months ago and have been pathetically trying  to remain on speaking terms with somebody who wants nothing to do with me. They were kind enough To talk to me on the phone for about a half an hour a month ago, however were honest that they did not want the same That there was no place for me in their life. They did say however they would take my call in case of an emergency. I do not know if they meant that literally or if that’s just something that people say to soften the blow of the break up. Either way I have embarrassed myself on several occasions by doing just this. I feel very embarrassed and ashamed that I cannot move on since I have had a lot of trouble healthwise and I’m somewhat isolated socially sense… So I still miss this friendship and remember the kindness and somebody one showed me… I do not know what to do or how to MoveOn Show me that it’s something that this person wants desperately. There is no place for me in their life. I am doing DBT and go to the ends of the earth in terms of distractions. It is almost a full-time job to avoid contacting them or picking up the phone. This is very hard because I do not have friends really or family and I am isolated I also have health problems now making getting out and about with other people my age kind of hard. I’m struggling and I don’t know what to do I hate that I’m even posting this or that I posted all but I desperately want to give this person the peace  that they are looking for please somebody help me I don’t know what to do. At  points to loneliness just overtakes me. I’m posting here right now even so I don’t pick up the god damn phone. I’ve even gone as far as the stick post it notes on the goddamn wall and refrigerator do not call do not call do not call do not call ....But I swear to God the one time I slip up and do it’s like I’m a monster they can’t respect boundaries but dammit I’m lonely But I know that’s not the problem