Hey all, 

On and Off for the past 5 or so years (I'm 27) I've wondered about having BPD. 

I know its "quiet" version is not a formal diagnosis/subset in the DSM5 but just to help y'all understand, I think that's my cluster of symptoms. 

I've been seeing a psych since I was 16, on and off, but he hasn't diagnosed me with it. 

I'm sure he doesn't know the totality of my SH/suicidal ideation etc. 

Lately, after another end to a relationship because I couldn't stop myself from splitting on them, everything's come to a head and I've been struggling more again, afraid of the friendships I do have (fear of losing them to my angry, accusative bouts) and been thinking about it more... 

I know I need to bring it up with my psych, but unfortunately I sought a lot of feedback from others - who all dismissed me, saying there's no way I have BPD. A lot of their responses show the stigma and limited view of the scope of BPD, I know, but it has made me extra sensitive about bringing it up with my psych - especially after all this time! 

I'm also studying psychology so don't want to seem like I'm self diagnosing. 

Does anyone have tips on how to broach this conversation? 

In my inner script atm I start with a huge disclaimer before getting to the point "I think I have BPD" but I dunno if that's the best way to go about it. It's stressing me out and I'm afraid I'll just play cool, not be open about how intense things have been and come across as my calm, quiet, controlled self (the realty of my inner experience is very different, always has been!) as a way to avoid the whole situation. 

Any thoughts would be most helpful!