This world is ugly, it's destructive and vile. It's as if all the light in my own life, and in others has just been snuffed out. I used to want to help people because it was the only thing I was capable of doing. I'm not good at anything else. I just wanted to make things better for others and this world we all live on. At this point I'm considering on taking my own life because I cant handle all this hopelessness, rage, greed, anger, and hate that people in this world have. Nor can I handle my own mental state. 

Theres anti trans bills being passed by governors, who's to say that won't branch off into other LGBTQ communities? As a gay guy that scares me, that everyday I have to wake up thinking, today might be the day my rights are ripped from me and from others. Then theres the racism and reverse racism being spouted from all ethnicitys, fighting eachother, blaming eachother. Then theres the sexism and harrassment both women and some men have to go through. 

Abuse, pedophiles, rapists, murderers, homophobes, racists, animal abusers. 

Theres a genocide in China, civilians being murdered by a corrupt government in Myanmarr, our own government trying to repress voters. All this darkness is just way too much for me to handle. Theres not enough good hearted people in this world to fight all of that. 

Life just feels incredibly pointless right now, it would be easier to handle all this if I had friends, a family, or even a boyfriend but I don't. I'm all alone, watching this all go down. I think my best option at this point is to just kill myself and be done with all of this. I hate that I was given a heart that's sensitive, that's emotional, why can't I just be as cold and heartless as everyone else. Wouldn't that lessen the pain I feel for all the bad shit thats going on in this world?