I wish It was easier to put myself out there, be confident and be who I am. And not be awkward and dumb like I'm sometimes. Because i know I'm not literally dumb, and i have come so far in life and succeeded in things i thought i can't do, i deserve so much love, credit and appreciation than i give myself. 
I wish I could stop feeling this way like a superb stupid person. Ever since med school i always felt this imposter syndrome.

I hate everything. I wish I could quit everything and just go somewhere and just listen to waves and sleep.... 

But but but, i love my parents. I'm a Dumbo i am even taking them for granted. They deserve so much love, meanwhile I'm looking for worldly attention and appreciation while forgetting about my important people. 

Idk the trigger, but today while i studied with my friends i was awkward as usual, and i felt a little more embarrassed for being me than usual. 
Initially they used to respect me since I'm their senior and from a prestigious college than theirs, but now they just know me for the awkward me that's it. I am sometimes embarrassed of being me.

Stupid, stupid, stupid me.