Today is the day that I turn 30. The door to the last decade closes as the door to the next one opens. 

Reflecting on this last decade, It's sometimes hard to believe how contrasting my early and late twenties have been. 

My early 20s was the best time of my life. I was embracing motherhood, making memories with those that mattered, I had good friends &amp; family &amp; had lots of fun. I was finding myself, educating myself, getting involved in things I was really passionate about and working in a job I loved. Not everything was perfect but life was great and I was consistently happy throughout despite the ups and downs.

That was until I turned 26. The later years of my 20s couldn't have been more different. I lost a part of myself most young people take for granted and that was my health. Instability in my health caused me to lose a lot, including myself. A domino effect of pain, challenges, loss, isolation, stress, loneliness, fear, anxiety and depression was triggered. Once one piece fell, all the others did too. Life became so hard at times I often diced with the thought of death as a way to end the physical and mental suffering. It's been a long road of 3 steps forwards 5 steps back having to learn how to accept and adjust to my situation, and the changes and challenges that life threw at me. The last few years haven't been all bad, but being honest, all the good times have been shrouded in darkness nothing has felt as good as it should.

The last couple of months leading up to my 30th I've began to feel what happiness is again. I've stopped trying to do everything on my own. I'm letting go of things I cannot control. I'm listening to my body more and I'm trying to live in the moment and  getting the right treatment to keep me fighting through.

I thought turning 30 would be something I wouldn't be happy about but now that I'm here, I feel excited about the future for the first time in a long time. I feel that certain things have fallen into place in order for me to come full circle, but with some differences.

4 years in a deep dark place seems a long time and I'm not fully out of the woods yet, but, if there's one thing I want to tell you is that no matter what hardship or struggle you're going through, no matter how far you've fallen, never stop believing things will get better. Hold on to the hope you'll have the opportunity to start again. Maybe you/the situation won't get better straight away, but something will improve eventually. Keep holding on.