I constantly feel like I'm on unstable ground or going insane. I left my abusive house and am living with my husband. He doesn't have bpd and I feel guilty but i just feel so unstable. Randomly yesterday I disconnected and attempted to get on a highway by foot. He literally had to grab me and ask if I was seriously gonna do that. I lied obviously but i just want to be a good wife and partner and I don't know how. 

And these thoughts get so bad that sometimes I just want to silence them but obviously I can't because I have him and others I guess. Is there anyway I can improve and feel more stable so I can be a good partner to him? We have no kids. Married for a year. I don't want kids. Not with how I am.