this time my breakdown wasn't at work it was while i was trying to get ready for work. actually i didn't even get out of my sleep clothes.. i kinda just lost it from the moment i woke up. i wish my brain didn't work like this, i don't wanna live like this anymore. my sister called out of work for me which i'm sure it made my managers mad. honestly why should i care what they think? they don't care about me. 

another thing is i want to chase my dreams but why should i even bother? the world is ending and my brain is tired. why should i even try anymore? the people in my life care for me but they don't have the slightest clue as to what's going on inside of my messed up head and when i try to explain it comes out all wrong making things sound like i'm just overreacting. it's a lot. and i don't know what to do.