I always end up ruining them with my insecurities and splitting and bad episodes. I don’t blame people for eventually letting themselves be pushed away to be honest. I know it’s my fault that all of them have ended in a shitty way. 
It’s not just relationships either, it’s friendships too. 
All my relationships are hella intense and quick-moving and then they just crash and burn at the same speed that they were initially lit up.  I wonder if I’ll ever have a normal, loving, lasting friendship or relationship.