My FP and I broke up mutually. 

I brought some rather toxic traits into the relationship (fear of abandonment, jealousy, control) and he mirrored them back to me. 

Normally I would just binge drink and date tirelessly until I get into another relationship that ends similarly, but I'm 29 and want to break the cycle and find someone to settle down with.

My lifestyle of smoking and drinking and stressing is aging me massively n worry I will soon be too 'old' and not capable of having kids.

I know the first step is self-love and second step is maybe moving out of berlin bc no one really wants to 'settle down' here, but I would love some advice on how to stay sane during a break up without resorting to dating and drinking.

How do you keep yourself preoccupied? How do you stop yourself from texting your ex?

How do you learn to love yourself? 

I wish therapy was an option but I'm unemployed at the moment.