I've been having an extremely rough week. I recently stopped taking lamotrigine and I didn't think it was making a difference but I'm thinking now I was more stable, albeit more consistently depressed. I had a pretty good week or two right after stopping it (better than any I had while on it) and now I'm feeling worse. I'm still on Zoloft and my HRT. I've never been to the psych ward and really don't want to start now. Thinking about it makes me anxious as fuck. I have no clue what to expect, I've heard so many horror stories from other trans people. At the same time I feel like where I'm at right now is just a spiral downward and I'm not sure how long I can handle it. I always struggle with SI, even while on Lamo, but now it's harder to find reasons not to. What would you do?