I'm not ok. I don't know that I'll ever be ok. 

How does one keep existing when forever alone? I can't seem to maintain a friendship or relationship long term. I have depression, extreme anxiety, and cpsd and most people do or can't handle the things that come along with that. 
It's exhausting to be alone while watching the people around exist so easily. I have no family left really. I have no friends. My partner was all I really had and he's been caught cheating. And I'm left to choose leaving to be alone fully or to stay and pretend I don't know that he's just going to keep cheating. 

I have a new therapist and we did the standard go through your life and I made her cry. That's a whole new achievement I was not mentally prepared for. Has anyone ever made their therapist cry before? 

Sorry this is kind of all over the place.