I don’t know what it’s like to not feel anxiety. It’s relentless and it’s only gotten worse since I was 15 (I’m now 20). My doctor finally prescribed me Ativan which allowed me to feel no anxiety for the first time in 20 years. I feel “normal” and my body is rejecting it. My body is so used to the pain day in and day out that it is actively rejecting the feeling of “normal”. I feel sick to my stomach but also ashamed at how much I like Ativan. Feeling no anxiety just feels so good. Ativan is a miracle. It’s not the solution yet it feels like god’s angels came down and blessed me with the elixir of happiness. I really need to find a good psychiatrist.