my partner of 4 years is suffering from untreated borderline, we live together with her family in a narcissistic family dynamic. she tells me she feels like there is no point in her going because the narcissist in her life won't be getting help. she is also worried about being gaslighted by a mental health professional because that has happened before. 

NOTE: I exhibit narcissistic traits and often make episodes worse with my responses any help with that would be appreciated as well.