i seem to get stuck in a loop where i’ll become obsessed with instagram for a while until it makes me feel horrible, then i’ll delete it because i know it’s healthier for me not to be on social media, and after a while of not having it i’ll start thinking... normal healthy people are able to have social media accounts, and i want to be a normal healthy person. then i’ll redownload it until i realize it makes me feel horrible again. i just really want to be able to exist online like people who don’t have bpd or mental illnesses plaguing them. does anyone else feel this way? it’s like, if i didn’t have bpd, choosing not to have a social media presence would probably feel like a good and healthy personal choice, but knowing that i should stay off of it because of my bpd makes me feel like it’s not really my choice. idk maybe it’s one of those things where telling myself i can’t have something makes me want it more even though it’s bad for me.