I feel like this is eventually gonna back fire. I mean, it may have already? or fed into a new issue? I dunno, I've been thinking about a lot of parts of my life and myself lately so it's kind of a mess.

Basically, mostly with my FP to be honest, I had anxiety a few nights in a row over perceived situations and thoughts in my head that idk even happened. Then remembered that I guess I still kinda love this person and it hurts and blah blah. I was a mess for a bit.

Then one day, as I'm sorting out self identity stuff, I just said "Fuck it". 
"If you are the one to abandon me, that's your problem. Not mine. Shows more about you than me." 

Stuff like that, and now in my mind when I feel anxious or think about them or catch feelings, I've started having the habit of shouting "Fuck you" in my mind, then reminding myself of every time they hurt me and all the things that they do or have done to upset me.

So like... It's worked to get rid of a lot of anxiety and sadness. Like a lot. I'd have full blown anxiety attacks before. But now I'm just angry. I like that anger is a productive emotion but... I basically haven't actually solved the damn issue, just changed it.

Anyone else 'force' themselves to use a splitting mindset to avoid pain?