I have a very complicated situationship with my ex/FP now roommate.

One of the big reasons we broke up is because he doesn’t like how I parent. I’m not super strict and I don’t feel like punishments are necessary for every “wrong” thing my kids do.

We were chatting about something dealing with the kids….

And I finally just said “when it comes down to it, you don’t trust my parenting”

He started to say…no…that’s not it

So I asked “do you trust me with your kids?”

He said “depends on the day and circumstances.

I just told him I was done and walked away and now I’m crying in my bedroom.

During the summers when we were together his kids LIVED here. I was home with them all the time. I took his youngest to swim lessons.

I’m a FUCKING teacher.

But, his trust with me and his kids would be conditional!?! It wasn’t before! What changed? Oh. I was diagnosed with BPD!?

Fuck him.

I asked my BFF of 36 years the same question.

She said there would never be a time or circumstance she wouldn’t trust me with her kids.

She asked her husband the same question and he also answered without a doubt.

Why? How? How could my ex think that about me!?!

How could a man who’s lived with me for 4 years and known me for 6…who we’ve had a blended family together think that of me!?

Just because he doesn’t AGREE with my parenting?  

I’m so heartbroken.  So damaged. So hurt.