I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for more than three years now (both in our early 20s), of course it has been unstable and is the main reason that my BPD crisis are triggered. He has never been super understanding of my situation, and although with my diagnosis (almost two years ago) he promised to be more patient and supportive his attitudes are still the same.
He has just become more numb to my pain and can brush it of easier because ‘no matter what he does I will get mad’ or ‘it’s just another crisis, you’ll get over it’ or ‘why do you like suffering for anything it’s just in your head’.

We have broken up several times because of the instability, but it never lasted more than a couple of days mostly because every time I would beg him not to leave me and convince each other of trying. 
This last time has been clear to me that our differences are unresolvable and we are not good for each other, and no matter how much I try to explain it just doesn’t get through. But even though I was convinced that we had to end it when we start talking I just can’t let him go.

I’ve been going through all the emotions and the anger and anxiety bursts are in all times high, but when we talk it all goes away.

I know I can’t keep this going and it’s better to end things, but (again) the idea of loosing him is paralyzing. 

Has anyone gone through anything similar? Any advice?