I work in a high-pressure field (IT) and am pretty good at it - I’ve generally been able to solve every software problem I’ve been thrown through my decade plus career.

But man, it’s panic inducing every time something unexpected happens (which those of you in IT know is “all the time”) and I don’t immediately know what’s wrong and/or how to fix it. 

I don’t know why I’m like this - I’m constantly in a state of terror that this will be The One I Can’t Figure Out and will end up jobless (and thus, homeless and healthcare-less because America). It’s exhausting. I don’t feel like my spouse (who also struggles with mental health issues) gets it. I want to not feel this way so my young kid doesn’t see me struggle so hard (and man going from work stress to daddy mode is hardcore masking) but can’t really find time or finances for therapy. 

I wish work wasn’t such a central part of male/American identity - maybe then i’d be able to Care Less