I will always hyperfocus on a single female friend of my male partner, or his most recent ex/crush. I don't make scenes and I stay civil, I hate confrontation and tense situations. if she's around, I will be nice to her - but I do sneaky creepy things like creep on their social medias obsessively, or Google to find out whatever I possibly can about them.. I think I do it to compare myself to them (I kinda hate myself and think everyone else is better than me, and always feel like I'm being settled for/am second best to these girls) and try to find out exactly why my current boyfriend likes/liked them. I feel like a fucking weirdo and I hate that I do it, I'd be horrified and feel bad for the girl if they ever found out. Plus, it only makes me ridiculously upset and wishing I could be more like them. Sometimes it gets so bad that I become delusional and start believing my boyfriend is in love with them instead. I also get intrusive thoughts(?) about my boyfriend being with them/cheating on me/having a better connection with them than me... it sucks hairy sweaty balls.

I have been cheated on, and have been compared to other girls in past relationships - I think this adds fuel to the fire 

TLDR: do you get obsessively jealous/envious of your partner's friends to the point where it creeps YOU out? I really just feel alone in this.