I had parents who didn’t believe in mental illness. I never spoke to anyone about it. I mentioned anxiety to my doctor once as a kid and she prescribed me Citalopram. I don’t know why, but I stopped taking it. Now I’m in my 20s and I had maybe close to a year of “normal” mood. I want a diagnosis, I want help. I want to know what is wrong with me and I never want to feel like this again. 

I don’t have anyone I can reach out to for help. Do I go to a primary care doctor and get referrals from there? Do I go straight to a psychiatrist or therapist? What type of doctor helps? 

I sometimes feel manic, sometimes normal, typically depressed. My anxiety has gotten worse and worse over the years. My social battery is drained from work and I don’t do anything social outside of it. I worry about OCD tendencies and it affects my life. I just want to feel normal and not like dying.