Lately I been feeling my self go into a very low. I just don’t wanna end up in the hospital again. So I stay quit and don’t say nothing. 
But the though off suicide is still strongly in my head the voices have become shadows that follow me everywhere. I try to ignore them especially if I’m around people. I can sleep any more. 
I have been of my meds. They weren’t working. And not like I can just go change them. I don’t have insurance. 
It just feels like I’m loosing the battle in head. While everyone thinks I’m happy again and I’m back to normal. In reality I’m worse than when I got out the hospital. I’ve really been try not to think about suicide. But it’s just so hard. I just keep thinking life would so much easier for everyone if I was gone. I’m just such a burden. Idk how much longer I can hold on bottling everything up.