I am currently curled up in the bathroom crying and miserable. In October I got jumped and tried taking my life 6 times in a week. November I ended up in hospital for the 8th time. The doctor discussed me having bpd and gave me a long list of symptoms. Finally something fit. I saw hope. My doctor refuses to help me. And insists its bipolar. Its not. My mother I believe also suffers from bpd and my father is a narcissist... go figure. I need help. I am unstable and impulsive. My home life is terrible. Unstable. Abuse both mentally and physically. I cant keep anyone around because the way i am but I cant get help. I fall down rabbit holes. I give myself up easily. I get controlling and crazy. I know I have an issue I dont know how to help myself. I am always empty and on the brink of melting down. I lie and manipulate and I dont even know why i do it. Please someone help.