Hello, so my partner broke up with a couple of days ago.
The day they broke up with me I was in “end of the world” mindset I was crying and screaming I felt like I couldn’t live without them. After that I started to feel numb and somewhat normal and doubted my feelings for them (which I think is splitting on them because I started to heavily blame them on multiple aspects of why the relationship didn’t work even though there weren’t any major issues)

I woke up today and I’m still very numb yet slightly anxious because I’m still unable to understand myself because I still love them and I want them back really badly but doubting myself to wanting them back. 

Just so you guys know I’m in my rational mind right now and I am confident when I say that our relationship was good, we did not have any major issues, we had misunderstandings that we tried ti tackle as fast as possible, we were working on our communication skills together plus there are stuff that is going on in her life and mine but I guess they had a limit to how much they can handle but I know it could’ve turned out a different way especially since I’ve been in recovery.

Can someone explain why I’ve been feeling so numb and why I’m making them the monster even though both of us made mistakes in the relationship. I want to fight for them or at least try and if they want me back and want to work on the relationship together then I’m all for it but if not then so be it.