There's one part of me that believes I have a stable sense of self - I'm someone who likes writing and creative stuff, who also happens to have BPD. 

But there's also a huge part of me that has a serious problem when it comes to *actually* scratching below the surface of who I am. Esp since I'm thinking more about careers lately. One second I want to be a writer. Another second, a lawyer. Or a musician. Or a forensic scientist. Or a chef. Or - the list goes on. I cling to interest after interest and it's never stable. Like I even know that from a young age I like certain things (eg writing or stuff), but I can't hold onto anything inside my head. There always seems to be something missing, I'm never satisfied, there's something lacking in me that just can't be filled. 

It's hard now because I don't know which direction to turn in college. I'm like, supposed to really enjoy writing and psych so I might major in them, yet I'd suddenly lose interest and want to completely reinvent myself. Urgh. Idk if this is a BPD thing or just a normal existential crisis at this point in life. Just a few days ago I wanted to drop out of uni and go to trade school, or start my own restaurant or something, when that's totally not me, but I don't know what is. 