Theres a girl I have been talking to. She makes me feel something I have never felt before. Its a brand new, terrifying feeling and my head spins trying to comprehend exactly what it is. I think it is Love. I'd simply say it is, but theres no other feeling I have had to compare. I have hated before, so I know the feeling of hatred. I tried to withhold these things. At least for now. But fuck just seeing her face man. I dont know. But, I did it. I told her how I felt. Pretty much all of it. 

And I think it ruined everything. I dont want to lose her too. I have lost so many people. I dont have a mother or father to go to. She is the one I can go to. But maybe not anymore. I have convinced myself it is time to be alone, again. 

That is not what I want. I told her i'm not who she is looking for. She did not believe me. And she kept trying. Then I got hooked. And now im fucked.