So I've been in a relationship with this guy for almost 1/2 a year. I'm the one with bpd and I believe he is abusing me. I need help to figure this out. I'm not thinking clearly and I believe I've been brainwashed a little. It scares me now.

My therapist says he is gaslighting me. Before I even mention gas lighting and I describe what's going on to someone. They say he is gaslighting. Somehow , everything that goes wrong is my always my fault. 

Despite me trying to work on our relationship issues due to bpd. (I'm in dbt treatment now), there are some pretty big red flags that I'm uncomfortable with and I'm looking for advice on some of these.

The sex is sometimes non consensual. This bothers me a lot. He talks down on me and disrespects me in public, belittling me. He tells me I'm fat. 

I get the sense that he's angry at the world all the time. And he takes it out on me.

He's physically hurt me on purpose saying that I deserved it because I didn't listen to something he said. 

I don't know what to do. He's been supportive and wanted me to go to dbt but this stuff continues. When he's hurt me physically  emotionally, he's never apologized  and always had an excuse. When i stand up for my values he instantly dismisses them and says that it's my bpd.

This weekend I paid for our entire hotel stay and 4 course dinner for both of us. He didn't offer to pay for any of it. Although he is at the point unemployed.

There's stuff he's done that make me afraid of him. Specifically his hate, extreme paranoia , his physical abuse, and dangerous driving when he's emotional.

I really don't know what to do. Should I continue staying with him because he says he's been supportive of me through bpd? Should I leave him? 