My husband is long-term medicated(maybe 8-10 years consistently? I'm unsure of the exact timeline bc it was long before we got together 4 years ago. Also, on and off before that since he was a teenager; over 20 years ago). That keeps him mostly stabilized at a good level; but a few times a year or so he goes through what we refer to as...spiraling, being in the hole, pulled under by a wave, in the darkness, in a funk, etc... 

Basically a fall back into his standard state of depression; the symptoms aren't to their full strength as his worst episodes, but can get pretty bad. He gets detached, irritable/inconsiderate/selfish, quits feeling the need to do his part around the house or with parenting our children, when he's home he's usually either sleeping or gaming on his PC. 

I've had my own battles with depression; even spent a few stretches at rock bottom where it seemed pointless to keep living. Not his lifelong struggle with chronic and severe depression, but enough that I understand where he's at and can be sympathetic to what he needs/what I can expect from him. 

However, when it's like a week into having to do EVERYTHING for our house, family, and often him while he's also being kind of an a**hole... I start getting less patient and more annoyed. It's hard not to when I haven't had a minute to myself in days and he refuses to even just sit with our 2 yr old and watch a movie so I can have 20 minutes to decompress OR he can't be bothered to bring her to the table with him and put her in her chair for the dinner I've just made then served to everyone and somehow I'm unreasonable for asking him to do something as simple as wipe off her hands/face and let her down from the chair while I start on cleaning up everything from dinner which would delay him going back to gaming by a couple of minutes at most. OR When I have to plead and compromise and offer incentive for days to get him to complete an important, but small task that I am literally unable to complete like moving money for something from his personal account to a shared one.

I'm not starting fights or having unreasonable expectations or anything like that about his current state, but GOD would it be nice to get a little bit of appreciation or understanding from him for everything I go through when he checks out instead of the b*tching about what I haven't done yet and scoffing at my making a general statement like "I'm burnt out, this week has been really hard." It's really difficult to be the partner of someone in a depressed state and have everything fall on you with the bonus of your partner currently being mostly detached from your normal strong connection and a bit of a jerk to you. It's also really difficult to not feel bad about those feelings.