Even though I've been getting a lot better over the past month with getting serious in DBT therapy (I'm very certain that I've had some kind of BPD since childhood and I hadn't been able to get DBT until three months ago) I've ignored friends, and family for months. 

When I figured out that I had BPD I went into a shock thinking about all of the really stupid things I'd done and said when I had split, it feels horrible. I locked up because I wasn't sure how to proceed and I didn't learn for myself how to do it. 

I'd changed so much since the trip to the hospital last November and I was unsure what to do about it. I hated who I was before then and didn't know how to explain to people, or even if I should explain to people because I was afraid of their judgements.

Someone removed and blocked me from facebook today that I wish I had opened up to more and I feel like an asshole because he was always super kind to me and I know that I hurt him by ignoring him.