
I (35F) grew up in an emotionally neglectful and physically abusive "family" (now NC).  

I worked hard and have a happy marriage and career now.  I should be happy but I feel broken and don't deserve to be happy.

Every day I put on a smile and every one thinks I'm okay.  Years of practice made it easier to fake it.  Learned the hard way I'm not important enough for people to care about.  In a way that makes it easier because I have no one to say goodbye to.  Except my husband (honestly dunno what he sees in me). 

If my life could end and I never have to feel pain or numb again, I'd choose it.  

I have no regrets in life.  I just wish I was never born.