i fell in love for the first time in years, i get really attached to someone, i tell them how i feel and then i remember they're in a relationship and i feel stupid bc i probably scared them away by telling them how i feel. i might have bpd cuz the way my mind be working is fucked up and i feel like i just ruin everything for myself even if its not true. when i think i'm happy reality hits and i realize how pointless my existence is and i just sink lower and start to feel so empty and alone again. i don't know what i want and it scares me. i think i just wanna feel loved by someone and give them all my love but with my fucked up mind i'm scared that that can't happen. i wanna cry but i'm so depressed and jaded and conditioned to disappointment that i cant