When I first realized how manipulative I was I tried to improve myself and i think I did quite a bit. I was able to recognize when I was being bad and admitted it snd apologized of I went through Ruth manipulating. I don't know why but now that everything is going pretty well for me (I got an amazing partner and have been doing better mentally) I've lost all that progress. I never would admit it to myself. I upset some friends and I just lost myself. My partner told me I was being manipulative whether I meant to or not and in finally was able to admit it to myself. I don't know how to make it up to him. I don't know how to get better and stay better. I feel like I'm gonna be stuck this way forever. I'm not sure i can keep going like this not knowing how to deal with this.  I can't handle hurting those i love anymore. Please does anyone have any advice?