but like honestly pretty mild i guess? for a few weeks i’ll like,, not be able to get out of bed and be extremely suicidal and cry randomly even tho i’ve been on FTM HRT for 6 months, and then randomly i’ll wake up and feel really good about myself and be really impulsive and drink a lot (and i like myself a lot more when i’m like this) and when i’m sad i (physically) can’t call a meds doctor but when i’m not i don’t WANT to because what if the meds they give me make me stop feeling like this and i really like feeling like this i like having a sex drive and flirting with people this is much more myself i feel like i won’t like go on an insane binge like i’ve seen in media (that honestly may be a lie w alcohol oops) my therapist tells me to call this outpatient clinic but that sounds intense idk my partner doesn’t like me like this but i like me like this i literally feel like i’m on coke like idk