backstory: my girlfriend and i have been together almost a year (valentine’s day is our anniversary). she’s the greatest and most patient and caring person i’ve ever met. but somewhere along the way she began caring about me to this point where she was effectively taking care of me. and of course, whenever my bpd would act up it would cause me to lash out, often at her. i’ve been trying to get help, but my parents are mad religious and have me on some weird Christian health insurance plan that doesn’t cover mental health at all, so for the longest time the best help i could get was from my university psychiatrist who diagnosed me. i finally just managed to find a sliding scale place and i’m starting dbt next session.

anyway this lashing out has significantly pushed her away, especially since the new year when a lot of shit went down and since then i’ve become pretty depressed. then just yesterday she told me that she’s tired of everything being so serious and that she doesn’t want to be my caretaker, which to be clear is absolutely fair. but then she told me she doesn’t think she’s in love with me anymore, and that she got so caught up taking care of me that she didn’t stop to ask herself if she even still likes me.

so her and i got into it today, and i said some things that i probably shouldn’t have (due to my distorted perception of things). and now she just left to go shopping without saying anything and i just don’t know what to do. the weird thing is i don’t feel much other than just completely empty. i know that i’m probably totally in the wrong in this situation (as i usually am lol), but i don’t know how to express that because she’s tired of hearing that and it’s not okay that i’m wrong so often and get mad at her due to my false perceptions of what’s actually happening.

just sucks and could use some perspective/advice/support/anything. i guess i’m just lost on what the point of being in a relationship is if the other person isn’t in love with you. is it possible to make them fall in love again? or is it over?