FUCK this shitty season, FUCK the cold, FUCK getting dark early, I can't fucking stand this godforsaken shithole weather. I wake up when it's getting dark to go to work, and I finish work and it's cold as fuck and dark as FUCK, and because I've been blessed with both SAD and BPD, each one fucking compliments each other and I'm having anxiety every single waking moment, I'm constantly freaking out and getting massive mood swings every fucking hour.

I can't even play GTA5 or watch a movie without feeling goddamn existential dread. I can't even talk to my coworkers because I'm so riddled with anxiety that they just get annoyed with me, or they say one thing in The Wrong Tone(tm) and my day just collapses. THIS LITERALLY ONLY HAPPENS IN WINTER. I'm so fucking productive and happy in the summer because it's warm and sunny and the birds are out chirping and I can sit in my backyard in shorts and have a beer at 9pm and it's still light out. I'm sincerely at my absolute best when it's summer, I'm able to have great conversations with people, I make massive strides in my mental health and becoming a functioning human, and then winter hits and I go straight back to square fucking one. FUCK WINTER.