I don’t understand how the same people that preach about me having to work on myself every time I have a split, are the same ones that willfully ignore my well communicated triggers and invalidate my feelings.
It doesn’t matter that I’m on meds, in therapy and have at times laid out literal “cheat sheets” for others to reference when they were having trouble understanding me or knowing what to say. None of the times I’ve calmly communicated my feelings, thought process and what I need, while still respecting their own boundaries, seems to matter.
While a part of healing is better understanding yourself and working on ways to cope, healing seldom is a one person process. I can work to manage my outbursts and better communicate my needs, but negative coping mechanisms exist to help us deal with difficult situations our brains can’t handle normally.
How do people expect us to heal when we’re not given a safe environment that makes it okay for us to slowly unlearn our “fight or flight” way of thinking.
It’s just frustrating being constantly told to “do better” after being pushed and pushed and pushed way past my limit, then being demonized when I finally break.

I’m “mentally ill” and “crazy” when I’m having a split, but not regarded as someone with mental illness the rest of the time.