I'm turning to you guys for support. I feel hopeless and like there's no end to the cycle of feeling better and suffering. It's literally like the better it gets the worse it gets too and I can't handle it. I feel empty inside and lonely and a burden to everyone around me because I'm so messed up. People can smell it on me I know they can. Right now I wanna blow money I don't have and binge eat or just attempt suicide again but I feel like people would reprimand me for that and god damnit I wanna live I just don't want this pain I hate it. I hate living like this to quote a good friend with borderline also I feel like my quality of life has been robbed from me and I can't take it back no matter how hard I try. Please I need some help or someone to talk to. Everything is heavy and I don't wanna be around here anymore.