My pwBPD is only triggered by our close relationship.  She splits regularly and comes back after an extended period of time.  When she is triggered she has physical symptoms causing distress.  Would it make more sense just to say no if/when she comes back?  She is otherwise fine when she’s not in a relationship.  I know she had emotional episodes but nowhere near what she experiences with me.  I’ve read all the books, I’ve tried all the techniques.