Hi everyone :)
I’m not diagnosed myself with bpd but my best friend is and I put the triggerwarning for self harm first to not trigger anyone by accident!
Now she has been struggling for a while, and I’ve been trying to help as much as I can.

For some background, she was diagnosed with bpd, adhd, major depressive disorder and severe anxiety. 
She also tends to internalize most of her struggles and blames herself most of the time, which is absolutely heartbreaking. 
She will never open up unless I specifically ask because she doesn’t want to be “too much”. 
I really really want to help and I try to ask as much as I can how she’s doing which I still feel is not enough. 
My problem is I don’t know what to say which could help her. 
She deals with it as best as she can already as she’s seeing a therapist to help her with coping techniques and how to control her behavior, she takes prescribed meds and she journals. 
I know that people with bpd have very strong attachments to one or more people and for her it’s her girlfriend. Whom I love dearly too. 

At this point though I feel like I’m repeating myself with things I say, and I don’t want to be overwhelming by asking a lot of questions to understand the situation better. I also don’t want to keep asking what her therapist thinks because I don’t want it to come across wrongly (which I just ask because I am genuinely interested in what things her therapist suggest that could help and if they are helping her) 
She struggles a lot with self harm and it gets so bad when she and her gf fight. (I used to self harm myself so I understand it a lot but in my experience nothing people said helped me feel less like harming myself) 
If anyone has any tips on what else I can do to help I would be so grateful. 
Is there anything that someone said to you that helped you?