i do have a number of the symptoms. i don't like self-diagnosing, so i leave it at that. i hope you guys will still try to offer me some advice.  
  
after the end of two relationships, one taking place pretty much right after the other (i was eager to fill the void that the first left behind), i'm feeling very empty. i was extremely happy for a while and foolishly thought i'd never be sad again, but here we are.  
  
it's mostly the emptiness that makes me sad, and i don't like being sad and don't want to deal with it again. i'm worn the fuck out... i've been thinking i might just off myself before the suicidal thoughts set in just so i don't have to go through all of that. i digress.  
  
before suicide becomes my most viable option, i want to try to make myself feel worthy, which for me is very closely related to not feeling empty. do you guys know of any hobbies or anything i could pick up? i gave both of my guitars to my ex, so i can't learn guitar, which would've been my first choice. i'm looking for something with kind of instant gratification, or else i'd get into gardening. i feel like a vegetable these days, so i have no creativity at all and could use help coming up with ideas. maybe a number of you are feeling more lively than myself. :-)  
  
thanks so much to those who help!! you're all lovely people. seriously. i hope things are going well for the lot of you, and if they aren't, i hope they get better soon.