Hi everyone,  

I'm currently a college student but it's honestly not been as great as I hoped. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful to be here but I feel like I'm struggling.
1. I meet people but I always feel like they don't like me. 
2. I don't want to go out as often as they do.
3. I've made friends but I don't feel like I have much in common with them. 
4.In terms of my studies, I can't bring myself to read or go to lectures because I wake up feeling emotionally exhausted, even though I like my course.
5. I have no drive or motivation or ambition.
6. I overeat but still feel hungry.
7.I drink but feel nothing. 
8.I'm just in my room most days unable to bring myself to do things.
9. Even my favourite activies like dancing and singing don't bring me joy. 

I used to think this was laziness but I've had undiagnosed depression in the past and I remember the signs.

I've been trying to think why I'm like this and I've narrowed it down to a few things:- 
1. I'm not home anymore and I'm constantly worrying about the safety and wellbeing of my family. Back home, I had my safety net but now I have no choice but to live in my new environment.
 2. I just have been feeling so uncertain about myself, I feel like I don't know who I am and that has bothered me since being here.
3. Oddly I also think it's the weather, since winter, I noticed the mood changes.
4. Guilt: my father took out loans to send me here and I feel so bad whenever I see him overwork himself to pay them back. Especially when I think about him working and me lying in my bed.
5. Expectations: everyone expects me yo do well academically but when  I think of their expectations,  I start to fear I won't meet them. 


I want to get better but I don't know how, I don't want to feel like this anymore. If anyone could kindly share some advice to help me, I'd greatly appreciate it. 

Sorry for such a long thread.