Hi everyone. Ive had something with a man for a year now. We were on off, he has an illness which prevents him from feeling empathy which made it hell for me. He dumped me 4 times and I always welcomed him back. I know my behaviour is why he dumped me, but he always came back so ai thought it was fine. I tried my best, really. Ive been sent to a psych ward because ive suffered drug related psychosis which is killing me in combo w my bpd. He said hed be there for me but isnt. I feel so betrayed. Some days ago he said hed lile to stay friends but still talk to me. Ive argued sm with him and became so manic, I know I overexaggerated but how can you dump someone when theyre at the lowest point? He promised me hed wait until I go out now this.  He used to always show up to talk to me unannounced so I thought id do the same so he stops avoiding talking abt it, because he suddenly wrote me he wants no contact anymore. I told him I dont accept it. Not another time. I will go talk to him everyday if I have to so he stops abandoning me everytime then come back. Now he called the cops. He threatened me with legal action if I ever contact him again. Im so hurt, I dont understand.  I just wanted him to be there for me. My fucking illness is sabotaging everything in my life and I hate it. I hate BPD and just want to die rn. I am so close to killing myself. How do you deal with this?