It's the tragedy of modern society, what can I say? No, it's not porn, it's not cholesterol, it's not games, it's the impossibility or immense difficulty to amount to anything as a teenager or a young adult. I just don't want to be a city boy, I don't want to be useless in the 8 hours after school and before sleep. It would've been just so nice if I could instead be working around a yard or on a field. I can't even apply for a job because of stupid laws against child labour and everyone requiring GED. "...Lift a load, then you can tolerate yourself. Because you're useless!..." This never felt any truer and yet I find working out ever more difficult. The only thing I had and I just can't do it anymore for some reason. I'm growing weaker every day. I quit swimming too. My emotional sanity is leaving me. I mean, it's been long gone but I'm just being sucked deeper and deeper into the hole of depression.

Please reach out if you're feeling the same.