within the next 4 weeks , i have two appts that could determine the rest of my life . i am having significant gi issues and need to get a colonoscopy .  i reason that it may not be that bad , but it is just something else I should not have to do . not only is it embarrassing to me . but i am feeling the worst .

on top of that , i have to go in for a spur of the moment mri of my brain . the last one I had freaked me out so badly that they had to reset the test and start over from the beginning . that was my first and only freak out in 26 years of having them . i have severe brain trauma and this is bringing all of it back up .

i am losing hope and my anxiety is spreading leg grapifier into every other Avenue of my life .


i just to be held and told i will be ok . i cannot do thus alone .