long story short, they were in a panic, i answered once half assed and then stopped replying. i'd split on them and kind of didn't like them at the moment but was doing my best not to snap (bc they didn't deserve that, especially not in a panic) so i just felt nothing towards the situation. now that i no longer am in the mindset i was, i feel fucking awful about it. i'm a shitty friend, i know that, and i wanna make it right... but i've done this before, they forgave me and we moved on. but now they've given up, telling me they were tired of getting their hopes up for one sided friendships. and i'm hurt, and i have no fucking right to be and it pisses me off that i'm hurt by this whole thing bc i did it to myself.

i tried thoroughly apologizing, they told me they didn't want me to apologize anymore. i tried bringing up the subject of their panic again, telling them that i wanted to listen and help them through it, they just told me they were going to bed.

i don't know what to do, i've completely broken down over this and on the verge of it again. i don't want to lose them as a friend, they're so fucking important to me and i just keep fucking up and i don't know how to stop.

i wanna make it up to them and be a better friend but i don't know how. any advice is appreciated.