I had a date set for today but I forgot the time. I wasn't there before so I couldn't just postpone the date. I tried to called the therapist but she didn't answer so a bit later I started going there to ask her personally. While I was going there she called me and told me I already missed it. I broke out in tears and the walk home from there (around 20 mins) seemed like eternity. I just wanted to lay down there and then on the street and fucking die. When I went home I just dropped everything on the floor and immediately started scratching myself over and over until I bled. I feel so fucking stupid and I just want to get help. I've been suicidal for several months now and I thought about going to a clinic but I would have to postpone Uni and I just got a flat and my relationship is here, too. I don't know what to do and I couldn't stop crying for a few hours I feel like shit. I don't really know what to do with this post I just needed to rant