List of every shitty thing I have done

1) Ruined a good friendship by taking what they said personal and gossiping about them negatively online. They rightfully blocked me

2) I've been hostile and nasty towards people

3) Indirectly told someone that suicide was better for them

4) blamed people for me one day dying

5) Reactive abuse towards family for hurting me

6) One time shut someone down for being positive about their life and made them depressed (they told me personally I made them depressed)

7) When I was much younger I ganged up on and bullied a poor boy 

8) I've blocked people out of manipulation 

9) Bully peope online and last out when mad

10) Starve myself out of punishment 

11) Realize that even with therapy, I still fuck up like this

12) I can't take this anymore

&amp;#x200B;

The guilt. The guilt of every shitty thing I have done. I can't do this. I really just can't. Suicide is right for some people. I will one day have the guts to do it. Everyone I have hurt will feel some kind of relief....