I need to come to terms with the fact that I can't fix myself.. and I mean that as in I can't fix myself by myself.

 I'm such a stubborn idiot when it comes to putting myself first in terms of mental health. Even though I'm always telling other people to take care of themselves. I'm literally fighting a battle that I know I'm going to lose, yet I keep doing so. Making excuses for why I can't/don't want to try and get help even when I know I'm absolutely miserable and I feel stuck right now.

 I just feel mad at myself, while also feeling pathetic, and wanting to push it all down to ignore it as if it isn't there, but it always comes back, and it's only formed more bad habits. That's life I guess, a constant struggle.