Yesterday I have the worst panic attack which lead me to vent here and even thinking about suicidal. However I fall asleep last night and wake up, go to work and pretend nothing happens. My chest still hurt, I still feel nervous but suddenly my colleagues crack a joke and I just naturally laughing with them. Now I feel better, the chest still hurt, I still thinking about not waking up but I can said it was better. Hope going up from here. Sorry if I keep treating this as my personal diary.