I need to let this out, i don’t know how to think because to me it’s not a big deal but a part of me is telling me this isn’t normal, this wasn’t normal. I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression from my doctors. I’m 17 and recently i’ve been thinking about my past “diet” and to me it was some what normal.. but now as i think about it was it? my parents look at me when i say i hate my body and say but you’re so thin! you’ve nothing to hate. But i’m not though that’s the issue to me i don’t see a flat stomach on the outside i seem confident but if you really get to know me you will know i’m so so insecure, i went to a festival and wore low waist trousers, i spent the whole night with my arm over my stomach and sucking in. It was hateful looking at everyone else and seeing me, i’m thinking of going back to my old diet but it was too strict, i would wear a extremely tight waist trainer to bed everynight and then continue to wear it throughout the day even tho it hurt so badly i would eat the same thing every day. This consisted off wheaten bread with butter for dinner every night and a bowl of cereal in the morning, that’s all i ate, this wasn’t healthy but i thought it was. I counted my calories and i would do strict workouts every morning which would leave me exhausted looking back at pictures my face and everything was so thin, but i can’t seem to see anything wrong with it and i wanna go back i wanna be like that again. I hate how much i love food i wish i hated it, i wanna be able to not cancel plans because i’m crying in my room about my body and i hate always covering my stomach and never letting anyone take back camera photos of me. I want to not eat. People think just because i’m a size 8 that i can’t hate my body but i don’t see myself the way others do i see myself to fat and disgusting in the mirror that’s how i am really.