I am 44 years old and haven't gone back to my hometown for almost 25 years. I had a pretty shitty childhood with a lot of bullying. However I have a friend, probably my only real friend, who moved back there. I spend a lot of time being alone...even when I am around people. And I do want to see my friend. But to me it's like a mini Vietnam in terms of all the horrible memories. I try to think it might be cathartic in a way. I am working with my therapist on how my childhood trauma has contributed/led to  decades of depression, anxiety and over the last 10 years suicidal thoughts. 

Does anyone have any thoughts on any of this? Or any experiences? 

Thanks,

Andrew