I don't mean in a profound lifelong sort of longing way, I mean a type of waiting in the moment. As if something unknown, but not dangerous or bad, is going to happen any time now. Just some phantom waiting.  

It's really annoying because ultimately nothing happens, but in the moment it will still feel like there's definitely some illusive *thing*. And it causes me to be distracted and less productive than I'd like to be.

I don't really know if waiting is the right way to put it, maybe it's more of an expectation. I'm think this is in some way related to anxiety, but perhaps to paranoia as well. But then as I said it's not necessarily bad or worrying, and normally my anxiety and paranoia tend to present that way. I guess antsy might be a better way to describe it.

I'm not even sure if this is a particularly BPD related thing, I don't know. Anyone else get this? It feels silly, like I'm overthinking normal anxiety. I think I am. I don't know. What even is the point of this post.