I’m confused because I’m not sure if I’m being an asshole or if my frustration is justified. I live at home with my parents and I am on disability allowance as I am unfit to work and have been unfit to work for the past few years due to my mental health. I get 208 euro a week and I give 50 euro of that to my mother as “rent”. 

Okay so this is a bit embarrassing but I don’t own my own bank account and it’s very difficult for me to get one because I don’t own any documents with my proof of address and the banks are very particular about which documents you can use and not use..etc so all my money goes into my mothers bank account each week and every time I have to buy something online I have to come to her and tell her. 

Anyways I found out about “revolut” today and it seems like I can start transferring my money to that. I confronted my mum about this and asked her how much money I had i saved up. I expected to have atleast 4-5k saved up as I don’t really spend that much and I have been getting the allowance for a long time. 

She said I had 2k and that’s it. I was shocked and confused and we argued about it for a while and she was saying “well you spend 20 euro a week on fizzy drinks” etc.. so I decided to add all the things I spend each week and each month and subtract it and in the last two years I should of had saved up 12k yet somehow I only have 2k saved up according to her. Also this was only calculated from the last two years but now that I think of it I’m pretty sure I’ve been getting the allowance a lot longer than two years. Anyways she got angry and threatened not to collect my money anymore (I can’t collect it because of severe social anxiety). She said there’s no way she’s giving me 12k and I was fine with that I just said that I would like some of it paid back to me over time and she refused again. 

I feel like I’m being an asshole though for confronting her about this since she does a lot for me in terms of stuff around the house  and making dinner etc but also something feels wrong about the whole situation and it’s not the first time she’s spent my money. She spent all my confirmation money when I was a child too.