I don't know what it is, but everytime I get into a relationship or try to start a friendship, it's like I care about the person, but I get really angry at them over inconsequential things and I feel like I try to make them see my side thinking that's going to change their behavior so I don't feel so angry. Like I feel like this is the description of a narcissist or something and I don't know how I got this way or how to fix it. I try signing up for counseling and I always get put on a waiting list and by the time my time comes, I feel fine and I'm not showing symptoms. I also try those free "talk to people through your problems" apps and websites but they just seem to validate me or something because my symptoms rear their ugly heads later when I feel emboldened. Sometimes I can catch myself being selfish, but even then it's still right after I've already done or said the selfish thing and I don't know how to stop.