Often times I can’t help but feel like there’s no purpose in my life. I don’t have a set career path I desire nor do I even want to think about it. I dread each day, hoping the next day would be better than today. Every so often a thought comes in my head “why do i live? right, because i HAVE to. not because i really want to. because i can’t leave my family behind. i can’t do that to them.”
i recently made a friend which made me feel hopeful in life again. but i realize i’ve become so dependent on that friend for my happiness that i can’t help but get so anxious and unsteady in my security. i can’t help but want someone more that could give me comfort and support, but i know this friend is not the person who can do that.

i just wish i could have a passion like everyone else. i wish i could have good relations like everyone else and be less dependent on others for my self worth.
i’m just stuck in this terrible cycle of feeling happy and then feeling like my heart is going to explode.