It's physically impossible for me to ask anyone at all in my life for help. It's like I'm at this huge brick wall and I can't bring myself to go through it. I don't know why, no matter what I think or try to get myself to do, I can't bring myself to tell anybody in my life how I actually feel. I'm blessed to have supportive friends and family around me but I feel so alone

I think it's because I don't think my problems are real, like I'm making them up just to be lazy. I think I've convinced myself that I'm doing it on purpose. My problems aren't real so it'd be selfish of me if I tried to get someone else to believe they are. I'd be wasting their time. But even then I still cut. Am I doing that just to prove myself? I feel so fucking stupid and confused. I'm just venting, maybe someone else knows what I'm experiencing