I don't want to say I'm spiraling because then it comes true. I was doing fine for these past few months, almost forgot about BPD. I feel like I'm going crazy again. I wasn't ready to feel this way again. I don't want to say that I am though. Maybe it's just a hormone thing. I don't know why I'm writing this. I don't know what I want. The more I think about it the more destructive I want to be. I don't know what to do. I have only my boyfriend and like half a friend. I still don't feel like I'm in control.