I've never been able to latch properly in a relationship. Yes, classic BPD, but I've been lucky enough to have a boyfriend who's also a very good friend. I remember we argued and he said that in the end, despite all, he was the only person who never left me. I know that sounds abusive as fuck, but if you don't know us, then you won't get it. We're constantly learning and it's true, no matter how much I fuck up, he'll always be there at the end of the day. 

Then it happened. I latched properly. I stopped worrying if today is the day he was going to leave me because that's not what normal people do. Normal people don't just up and leave you like that. 

Today, I've been thinking a lot about when I first felt abandoned. Was it when my mother begged me to stop calling her mother when I was 7 years old? Was it when my dad left me on the side of the road at 9 years old? Was it when both of them forgot I existed and I had to sleep on the bus during my internship?

All of that should've never happened. It should've been a crime.