I’ve been laying in bed for 5 hours having an internal attack. I realize I have no true idea  of who I am. I lie about small, stupid things to the people in my life to… make them think we have more in common or that I can relate to them. 

This leads me to feel like everyone hates me and they know my secrets by just looking at me or something. Like they can see right through me. 

A few years ago I was so sure of who I was &amp; everyone genuinely loved being around me. Right in the beginning of Covid I ended up shutting out all of my friends &amp; for a year and a half had no contact with anyone but my family. I feel like that changed my whole brain chemistry or something. Like the way I think, act and feel. 


I just feel so lost and scared and I feel like this is never going to end