I thought I could control my depression my life is easier at the moment I have a beautiful baby but I feel nothing I used to feel really lonely but nowadays I'm holding my baby he's smiling at me full of love and there I am crying looking across the room finding myself alone with my baby who doesn't know what's happening he doesn't understand how awful I'm feeling, how tired Iam, that I'm using all my energy and sanity to take care off him, I never let him cry I take really good care off him but I'm tired, I feel guilty that I'm not enjoying motherhood because my depression is always there sometimes I ask myself if it's really a good idea that someone like me raise a child cuz know he doesn't notice anything but he will eventually I don't want to explain why I cry so much or why I'm cover in scars lately I been thinking again about ending everything but I can't do that to him I can't leave him alone and I don't know what to do I already take antidepressants and go to therapy, I'm really really trying my best to get better I don't know why it isn't working...