I (26 M) have been fighting depression for years. I was depressed from when I was a teenager till freshman year of college. I snapped out of it, life was going great, but when I got home, it was slowly coming back. I cut ties with my abusive mother, it was peaceful that way at the same time, it pains me when she does not realize how shitty she was. She texted me why I haven't talked to her for a year, I sent her a long email. She seems like she understood, but threw it out of the window the next day and blamed it all on my dad. My dad was not around most of my life. My brother and I were not close, we got a bit closer last year since he needed financial help. -.- I feel like a failure when I could not persuade my mom to see a therapist. When I think back, my heart breaks. My mom showed me how to hate, my dad showed me how to abandon loved ones, and my brother showed me how to criticize others. I can feel the hole in my heart, it is pretty painful. There are other people that disappoint me as well. I do not feel well and I am feeling broken. I am avoiding suicidal thoughts as much as I can. I cried when I think about it. I care too much.