I called in sick around 11 times in 4 months at my last job and they fired me, which I deserved. I just told my manager at my new job, halfway through my 8 hour shift that I have to leave because I'm "not doing well" and told her I can't work mornings and can only do 4 hour shifts. She was very understanding and let me go and fixed my schedule up, but I don't feel better now. I feel so exhausted, bordering on tears all the time. I go into work either right after or during an outburst or a hopeless depression sinking into my stomach that makes it hard to do anything at all. I feel like such a lazy, inconsiderate, miserable piece of shit that can't even pull his own weight, ever. I've always been a burden and if I'm not in the position to be a burden, I just crumble. Before I even started this new job I told my manager that "I am fucked, physically and mentally.";I was in a hyperstimulated state that facilitated my oversharing. I'm physically fucked because I'm 300+ pounds and even standing for longer than an hour makes my back feel like it's made out of tissue paper, yoga doesn't help much and I always fuck up on keto. I'm clumsy, confused and constantly either annoyed, depressed, or anxious, with nothing in between. I can't even stand being corrected on a stupid mistake, I'd rather just slam my head into the nearest brick wall instead of acting like I can be lenient with myself. I have little tolerance for fuck ups, which isn't good considering I fuck up a lot.
Also having a relationship is very hard for me, and work makes everything even harder. We love each other but I'm not practically convinced of her love, in that I get angry and jealous about delusional scenarios that are projections of my insecurities. I also have wandering eyes that follow any behind or bosom, especially when working. I have a disgusting reptilian sex brain that I want to murder with an icepick, I only love my girlfriend, I don't want intrusive sex thoughts.
Idk I just want to know if jobs are as hard to keep or even attend for other people, I go through my life knowing I can never actually have a career in reality because I'm a loser that is too weak to function in the most mundane of environments.
I've been coming to the realization that "Wow, I'm one of those people that responsible people complain about." A quivering pussy with no work ethic or substance, resentful of everything and anyone around him. 
I've been unemployed for a year, and now that I have a job again, I'm horrified of what I might do to fuck it up.
I know this was posed as a question but it's just a vent. But feel free to vent to me!