I hate the person I've become. I just want to be happy; or at least somewhat happy, with life. Like I don't want to die, but I don't want to be alive either. Nothing ever seems to get better. I hate if anything goes well because I know something worse will always happen. I keep missing work because one thing or another keeps happening. I push all of those around me away because I'm constantly depressed and just getting real tired with life. The older I get the worse everything seems to get, including the anxiety and sadness. I just wish I could be like others around me and seem at least content with everything and to have some sort of purpose in life. I'm just tired of feeling this way and wish I could just, not be the way I am. I feel as if I burden those around me. I just want to be out of this slump of self hatred.