I get this a lot when I'm browsing facebook, but it happens when I'm elsewhere on the internet or even out and about. I see people laughing with their friends, out having their adventures, getting married and posing for the kinds of pictures you see in professional photographers' portfolios, and I feel so *empty.* They have something I don't have, but I don't know what and I don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm in a place where I don't have any friends or social connections at all beyond my parents and a couple of coworkers and my partners. But I don't know, I feel it with my partners too. Particularly my boyfriend--I care about him so much, he's my best friend and he's been there for me through everything, and I would be very sad to lose him, but I don't feel that passion for him that I see on peoples' faces in those pixel-perfect wedding photos. The thing is, I don't know if I'm even capable of feeling that passion beyond the initial, sky-high rush of infatuation that I'm sure you all know well.

I don't know. I feel like a half a person, like a creature pretending to be human. I feel like there's something missing that prevents me from living a full life. But I can't for the life of me figure out what it is and whether I'm lacking in it because of the BPD or whether I just came out wrong when I was born.

Anyone else ever feel like this? I'm feeling awfully alone at the moment.