My doctor cut my meds off. I did not really take them ‘cause i did not want to, and i felt like it is not really useful since i’ll feel terrible few hours later. I’ve got boyfriend he is literally my lighthouse, my light. But i feel like it’s getting bad again, even though i still felt like i am getting better. I am gaining weight to be healthy again, since i was underweight. I stopped hurting myself, but for some reason i just feel like I’m slipping back into depressive state of mind, and that is what makes me feel like a waste of space. I feel like a burden, that’s why i open up here, not to my boyfriend. All i can think about is “oh i’ll make him mad, what if he’ll stop loving me?”. I’m currently 15 year old. But i’ve been diagnosed around 12. And to be honest, I’ve been through so much things, but i just.. i know i am in right to be hurt, but i really started to get better and i have no motivation to get up or to do anything, i feel like a burden, useless, i just want to sleep, cry and i have 0 motivation to fight depression. I just know i am not strong enough this time. 
Disc.: English is not my main language, I apologize for any mistakes. Sending hugs to y’all, hold on &lt;3