Recently quite a few big changes happened in my life. I was working with my parents and they sold the company so new management has taken over the company. Guess I must have gotten used to seeing my mum and dad so much that now when I look at the seats they used to sit at, I feel this empty hollow feeling in my heart. I was alright for about a year. Didn't believe in taking medications cause I felt like all it did was numb me and make me feel restless. But now, this empty hollow feeling has been creeping up again. It gets worse in the morning. I get on the train and instantly feel nauseated. Didn't realize anxiety could make you feel physically "sick" and I must have been repressing these feelings that they started showing physically.  


There are nights where I look at my wife and my little dog and wish I could capture that moment forever cause I don't know what the future holds and it just scares the fuck out of me.  Mind is in fucking chaos all the time and I wish it would just stop.   


Thank you all who bothered to read this. I'm grateful for this page.