(I am new to Reddit, so I apologize in advance if I make any mistakes here or there.)

Hello. 
I’m an 18 year old girl and for the longest time I’ve been struggling with extremely disturbing intrusive thoughts. These thoughts often focus on me indirectly causing the death of the ones I hold dear. These can range from a fear of accidentally giving someone the wrong medicine/dosage, to even putting an object out of place and that somehow resulting in someone dying. Most of the time it’s a crippling anxiety (almost preoccupation?) on the idea that I might have something to do with a loved one’s inadvertent death. It’s caused me to miss school in the past and even miss out on social events because I’m afraid of doing something wrong.
Recently, though, something even worse has come up. I’ve begun having intrusive thoughts over... fears of harming children. Typing that alone makes me want to vomit. These thoughts aren’t detailed, but they are often loud, repetitive thoughts that ask “am I staring too long?” or “am I being too friendly with a younger relative?”.
I would never, ever, EVER dream of hurting a child—or even ANYONE in that matter! These thoughts are debilitating at times, sometimes even flooding my mind to the point where I need to leave where I am at so I don’t breakdown where others can see me. I’m beginning to question whether or not I am an evil person because of these putrid thoughts.
I cannot stand these thoughts, nor can I stand the crippling panic and shame that comes with them. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m too ashamed to ask for help on it. I’m terrified that maybe these thoughts are a representation of who I am, even though I am repulsed by all of it, and that I really am a bad person deep down. 
I don’t know what to do anymore.
If you’ve read this far, thank you so much for listening. I would be grateful for any advice or help at all.
(Note: I am not in a state of crisis right now. While these thoughts are agonizing to deal with, I do not have any intentions to do any harm to myself or others. I’m just extremely lost and in desperate need of advice)