I applied for a job a couple of years ago at a company I was already in, that everyone thought I was going to get because I was a good fit / good worker. The lady who ran the team didn’t like me because she didn’t think I was influential enough, so I didn’t get it.

I asked a guy for advice and he asked me what I enjoyed about my current role. I gave him an answer and he said...

“You don’t actually enjoy that, do you?”

Like I did, but I didn’t feel anything as I told him about it... like nothing at work really excites me. Does anyone actually enjoy working?! Ugh. I just can’t express that much passion for things that I’m kinda forced to do. Like I’m good at my job I just can’t deal with this fake bullshitty politics stuff. 

Anyway I was really embarrassed and told him I did enjoy it and then he felt sad for me because my answer was so flat and shit and he had no advice. But honestly I still struggle with this. When people ask me if I’m excited about something at work, it’s like, fucking no?! But tbh I’m not that excited about anything ever... 

Am I making sense? Does anyone else get this or have this problem? I just can’t fake excitement for random shit I know I’m doing for a corporate money-making machine. Maybe if someone asked me about climate change