Is what I am

I have repeatedly said I’m going to diet and lose weight for around a year and a half. I have servere depression and it’s due to a few things but this is really something that’s pushing me over the edge now. My appearance is disgusting (5ft10 255lbs) and it’s what that represents is what gets to me, it’s demonstrates how lazy and none committed I am and just how easy I give in and look for an easy way out. 

I have a daughter that’s going to be here soon and I’m going to be nothing more than an embarrassment to that child and her mother . If I’m still here 

Not sure what I want from posting this but I can’t say it out loud or speak to anyone