You tell me that you want to get to know me, to know everything about me because being with me fascinates you. You just want to hold me, and that’s okay. You finally convince me to open up to you, to tell me about my life. It took half the night but when I do I feel so much better. We still talk for hours about where you want to take me on a date when we get back to town. 


Everything is perfect, and nothing hurts. For the first time in a very long time, I feel safe..as long as I am with you. 



After opening up to you and leaving my heart out for you to dissect, you decide that you just can’t do it. You no longer have those strong feelings for me that you did. Why? I am just way too complex for you to handle. You don’t want to be with someone so complex, and you are the complex person in the relationship..you need someone simple enough to be your rock. 

You begged me to open up to you because you just wanted to know more about the girl who you click so much with..but now you don’t have feelings for me. It was just two short hours. Two short hours before you were the one holding me close, asking me not go. 

I just don’t understand. Suddenly after learning more about me, you say you don’t like me at all. It went from a perfect weekend to a terrible one, all in a matter of thirty minutes. On top of all of that, you just had to tell me when I was still on doses. I would have never opened up to you like that if I would have known that you could change how you feel about me so quickly. There’s a huge reason I don’t open up to people, and you showed me that I was right about it the whole time. I don’t think I have been in this much pain in a long time. You hurt me so bad, and you don’t even care. I wish you would have never kissed me that night under the stars, because now It’s all that I can think about. The ironic part is that you were the one begging me to not hurt you. You were the one saying that you wanted to be with me. I stayed for you when everything started to go to hell, all because you looked into my eyes and practically begged me to stay. You said that after I had just promised that I wouldn’t hurt you, leaving would just further prove the point that I was going to. I promised I would stay, as long as you promised not to hurt me. 

I never should have trusted you. The worst part is that I have no one I can talk to about this. No one. Not one single person. 

I was doing so good about not cutting, and then I had to trust you.


Nothing is beautiful and everything hurts.