I'm  not religious. So that can't  be the reason. I'm  used to anxiety  and panic, it becomes  my normal  that  when I'm  happy  or relaxed, I feel like it's  wrong. though I  also want ti be happy  but I feel painfully guilty.  I deserve happiness and I know  that but idk what's  happening  to me,  why do I feel this way.  I am so confused.