I'm not necessarily depressed anymore, but whenever i do seem like im enjoying myself, im actually in my head picking everything apart. After a few years of feeling extremely down i just dont feel it anymore. When i was depressed i felt like my life was still worth something, like even tho it was hard to have the meaning it was still there. Now i just feel numb to my worthlessness. When my depression started I felt real. I felt like the relationships I had were real and genuine, like i could talk to someone about the things i enjoyed, the things i didnt enjoy, the things that slightly bothered me and the things that meant so much to me i couldnt shut up when talking about them. During the first few years I knew what i loved and hated. I knew i still had those feelings but couldnt quite grasp onto them in the same way. Right now, ive lost totaly insight of everhthing i used to feel. I dont and cant speak to my mother, siblings, cousins, and friends about things thay excite me because nothing excites me. Theres nothing in the world that i can pay attention to and learn about that will have me thinking about it 2 hours later. I only ever think about self doubt and how I can better myself. I feel fake, like even tho I have these relationships, they don't mean anything. They're worthless because I don't think about them. Is depression just not as comforting as it used to be?