Yesterday we had a little going away party for a friend. There were about 20 of us there and i never felt out of place and it was a good time! Normally at social gatherings I feel like shit, like a random person in the group who doesnt belong. But yesterday was fun and I finally regenerated some of the missing social interaction i desperately craved. However, around the end of it, the friend who we threw the going away party for started walking around, tapping people on the shoulder to take selfies with them. He went to everyone except for me and three other people. One of which was my boyfriend and the other two were people we had just met. It felt like shit :/ now i can't stop spiralling thinking, does he see me as a stranger just like how he does with the two new people we had met? I thought we were friends? Should I have even gone to the party? Were other people thinking I shouldnt be there? Was I annoying?

I constantly feel like I have no friends. I feel empty.