i don't know how to explain to my parents that i don't want to get help. i constantly complain about how i feel terrible all the time and how i feel like there's something wrong with me but i don't want to have therapy, even though i'm being forced to, for several reasons- i don't feel like i deserve the help. even though i feel like there is something terribly wrong i just invalidate my issues and see myself and my issues as pathetic and minor.. i also feel like ill be invalid and unimportant if i 'get better' because i feel like my needs surrounding mental health were always invisible and i have a huge fear of invalidation.. i also fucking hate myself and want whatever is going on to get worse and worse as a way to self harm i suppose.