I’m doing so much therapy and I hate feeling the way I do, genuinely I hate it. I’m ruining my life. I can feel myself spiralling but I’m pretending to feel better. I’m trying the dbt techniques and when they work, I instantly want to stop doing them because without bpd what am I? I’m nothing without my illness. It’s so toxic. I’m so desperate to recover but I’m scared of what comes after. When I have no help what will I do? I’ll be all alone. Therapy is all I have. My therapist and group are the only people I can rely on always being there but when I’m better that won’t be there. I feel so lost.