So I’ve always been impulsive throughout my life, i never think, I just do.  I’ve got such an addictive personality it’s stupid, I go through phases of a particular drink then it’s 6 bottles a day of it, when I’m in gym mode training that’s everyday and no bad food, I will literally chew a chocolate bar over the bin then spit it out just for the taste because I can be very disgusted with how I look even tho everyone around me calls me stupid, I have used drugs and on my bad days it been day in day out none stop, could be a week, could be more! I have just split up with my girlfriend and also ruined my relationship with my mum because I’m a non head, I love my girlfriend to the point I told you how much it would just be cringe! My mum is my mum I love her, in a moment of weekends, they where around me but the thing is they didn’t even pop into my mind because I never think about afterwards just that moment. I can be depressed and paranoid then suddenly on top of the world like I’m invincible. My life was great and still can be but something in me for no reason can just switch and the lowness I go is just “do I even want to be here anymore” .. I am either reckless with my money and again just live for the now and spend 1000’s in a couple weeks. Then when my head is okay and I’m saving I’m like do I buy this £1 drink from the shop or not. Not saying I’m skint it’s just what my brain does. I can flip out for no reason but also like to believe I would do anything for anyone if I can help but then when I’m not in a good space I will isolate myself. This is a reoccurring story this has been going on for years like in cycles and I just don’t know what to do anymore. Well that’s my story. Any helpful comment would be great. Thanks for reading.