I know not everyone with BPD is self aware, and when I’m in my episodes I don’t realize at the time what I’m doing.

But I could have a fight with my family and be so angry and upset, take time then think “Why did I react like that? It wasn’t that serious.”

Or my boyfriend not being able to call when I am. I take that as “No I don’t want to talk to you” but give it time and I realize he’s just busy.

I just hate that I know how I’m acting and what I’m doing is negative and most of the time self sabotage. And I don’t think there’s a way to stop it.