Just some backgrounds: 22F with BPD, anxiety and PDD. I do have all the resources and opportunities needed to live a good life, but somehow I've always been self-destructive. Recently, I disclosed a lot to one of my best friends who treats me like her family. 

Right now, I'm facing two options in my life:

1. Admit that I made mistakes in the past, learn to take care of myself, accept my friend's support, listen to their advice, change my behaviours, find the internal strength that can keep me move forward.
2. Reject my friend's support, continue with my bad habits, continue to destroy myself, stay in vicious cycle, just let it be until I make the final life decision.

I know it's obvious that the first option is a better one, but I guess you guys will understand how hard it is to actually go with the first option and try to avoid the second route.