So I have trouble making friends. I live far from the few friends I do have so I probably see them every few months if I'm lucky, it takes a lot of travel to get to meet them so it's usually only when I go out drinking.

I struggled with social anxiety as a teen that has slowly been returning for the last 3 years (thanx to Mary Jane, but I'm on a break now) I've felt isolated my whole life, I was an only child who struggled to make friends. The friends I made as a teen are on the other side of the country and we no longer talk.

I barely talk to anyone except my partner. It's not like I'm scared to, it just seems every time I do the conversation dies out as we have nothing to talk about or the messages are too long and it takes days for us to both reply. Someone will message me first maybe once a month?

I've made a good friend recently and it feels like she's the only person who's been excited to spend time together for so long. (Besides my partner)
The thing that bothers me though is she is very entitled, spoilt by her mother and gets any clothes she wants. While I'm struggling to even feed myself, instead of using this as a motivation to get a job I'm spending my time being envious and building up resentment. She's even given me a birthday present, offered for me to borrow her things and to give me something she has two of! 

I don't even know why I'm posting this I guess I'm just scared of either becoming attached to her and developing feelings or letting my envy ruin the relationship. 

I'm just sick of trying to make friends and if it's a guy it turns out all they want me for is sex, and if it's a girl, my envy ends up destroying my confidence.