
I hate what I have to live through everyday. 

I got accepted to one of the best computer science schools in the country and world (CMU) and i thought life would go great. 

I was forced to take classes that weren’t even on my backup list for registration when it came to filling in requirements. I had professors that did not give a shit about the students; every student complained and tried to appeal, but nothing was done due to their tenure or whatever. 

At one of the hardest schools in the country, I have my GPA at a 3.26 and I’m part of this organization called buggy which I love. On campus it’s the one thing that gets me through the week, Buggy. After my freshman year I got promoted to a captain due to my outstanding commitment. 

My parents hate this. They hate that I’m socially engaging myself. They hate that I’m active with my campus community. They hate that I’m part of this one organization that keeps my mental health sane. 

They only accept me going here because of one thing, the reputation that I bring to their name; this is why they’re paying for tuition.

In highschool, I was forced to stay home and I had an incredibly difficult time with managing sports due to my parents. They don’t care about nor have they ever cared about what matters to me, but only to them. Throughout highschool not once have I spent time with friends during the school week since I wasn’t allowed to. 

Almost everyday I get degraded on my GPA, I get told to give up on the very club that keeps me sane and mentally fit. They degrade me and tell me that I should just stay in my dorm room all day and do nothing but study. 

I put effort into my classes. I always do the work, I always study for exams, I always physically prepare for exams over spending time with my friends. I go to office hours if I need help.

But no, it’s not enough, I’m not enough. 
I give up, it’s not that I don’t want to do this anymore, but I mentally can’t. 

I don’t care if I don’t do well in school anymore, I don’t even want to try, I want to leave the club so I can try to evade the verbal abuse, but it’s so hard to detach from something I love.

I quit caring, I don’t care if I end up on the streets asking for change anymore. 

I’m done.