i have no idea why i feel the need to do this. i start to feel it getting bad again and so i isolate myself in my room from everyone, and don’t even text anyone back. but then i start to feel so lonely as i watch everyone’s amazing lives continue around me, why do i do this?? 

if im so lonely i shouldn’t be purposely withdrawing from others, i should at least text them back! when i finally see my friends in person again after months i feel surprised when i find out they have new friends, hobbies, or guys they are talking to and hanging out with. my life has just stayed the same and nothing has changed, so i feel shocked when i discover that everyone else’s life goes on.  i’ve just been missing out on it because im selfish and just want to spend all day in my room and not talk to anybody, and then feel lonely. 

i know this is a problem i have created for myself. i guess i’m just wondering if anyone relates.