Not for my bf or my family. 

And I've had this constant numbing feeling realizing people talk about you behind your back, no one really cares about you and men just want sex but he probably doesn't care if I die..actually he's said so as a "joke"

Everyone looks out for themselves but don't give a fuck about anyone else. I wish someone like me would find me.

I've had to listen to my family in the next room putting me down for having different opinions and dreams. For not being like them

I'll never met his standards either. 
And my so called best friend won't answer my messages any more. She doesn't even know all the dark shit I've been through because I can't bring myself to bother her. 

I can't find the reason I live. What's the fucking point? To be lied to?
Be an outcast crying alone for the rest of my life?