And it started off with a bang. After the stroke of midnight I ran into my ex for the third time since we’d both been back in the same country. Six months ago she left and said this break would be good for us, since I tend to be more clingy (bdp, ahem) I said I’d wait to hear from her, if she wanted to be with me she’d be in touch. I didn’t here from her. 

Now though if I bump into her I’m kind to her, and she uses those opportunities to tell me I’m her everything, she’s nothing without me, I am the greatest, etc. I tell her I am working on basic stability and care for her but need to work on my own basic life skills.  Why is she telling me all these things but never once contacted me or tried to get back together?

So, the third time, just past midnight. Same thing. Except this time she comes out with the fact that she was with someone over the summer. 

Then she screams my name as I cycle away, tries to run after me to find where I’m living now, and calls me to say she loves me at 4am. 

So now my birthday is about to end and all I’ve been able to do is picture her with someone else.  During the time I was worried sick about her (she’s anorexic), heartbroken, and keeping my promise to give her space “for the good of *us*.” 

I feel disgusted and extremely manipulated and used. 