So I’ve found out I had bpd only a few months ago, and have found a lot of information on hypersexuality but so far haven’t heard much about the opposite extreme. 

I’ve struggled with increasing my sex drive (or even having one to begin with) for years, and especially with my partner now who has a much higher sex drive than I do and because of my low one I always struggle to come on it him spontaneously or “get horny” spontaneously. I’ve tried taking supplements, trying to stay in the moment, weed, different oils and lubes, tried so many things but it’s still probably my biggest struggle of all. I have to plan the whole thing out hours before if I’m going to come on to my boyfriend (granted I’ve been trying to get better and push myself to do it more).
As well as that, after prolonged lack of sexual desire I start feeling so negative about myself and feel like I’m dysfunctional and that there’s something wrong with me. 

This frequently also causes problems with our relationship and my boyfriend feeling disconnected from me and from us. I’m kind of desperate at this point.

Is this a fear? I used to think I was scared of sex but I’ve no reason to? I’ve never been sexually taken advantage of and haven’t really had any terribly bad sexual experience, so I have no idea why I’m like this. 

Any advice is greatly appreciated, thanks!