I’m sorry if this isn’t appropriate for this sub, I just don’t know where else to go.

Yesterday at my job my boss talked to me privately about my performance and I guess I’ve been “distracted” lately and need to step it up. They told me that other employees and customers have brought this up with them as well. They said they were telling me this because they “believe” in me and that if they didn’t, they would have just let me go.

I’m heartbroken. I’m in rage. I know it’s irrational and crazy, but when people tell me when I’ve done something wrong, it makes me sooo angry and upset. In my head (EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THIS IS NOT RIGHT) I feel like no one is allowed to critique me. Only bad people deserve criticism. I KNOW that I am not a bad person. In my head, I’m the nicest person there is. I’m always kind to everybody and I always try my best. There’s no reason to critique good people if they’re trying their best. AND I KNOW THIS ISNT TRUE! It’s weird, because I know that belief isn’t correct, but I still believe it’s true. Maybe that’s a delusion? 

Idk. It’s hard to explain fully what I feel, especially when This happened yesterday so I’m not upset in the moment.

I have this belief that if I did something wrong, I’d know about it. So when people tell me about something I’ve done wrong, I’ll that I haven’t already thought of, it makes me furious. I would KNOW if I did something bad because I’m so NICE and so if my boss is telling me I’m doing a bad job, she’s the BAD one now. Telling someone that they’re doing bad is WORSE BECAUSE ITS MEAN. I didn’t do anything mean. I always say sorry. 

These are my beliefs that make me feel like I’m going crazy. I know it’s not true, but I also fully believe that it is.

Is this even bpd? I’ve had friends tell me I don’t seem like I have bpd and had other friends tell me I definitely do. I don’t know what’s wrong  with me.