I'm trying my hardest to pull my life around but my depression cripples me. The mood swings so hard that it feels like a hammer. I don't know why I feel the way I do, nothing is wrong? why must I feel like this? why does it feel like I have no control... I don't understand. I'm doing everything I can. Why must I hurt? It's torture because I'm hurting for no apparent reason.... Like yeah I've had a shit life but Im not thinking about that, I don't know why I feel so sad. 

I could be feeling good, until suddenly I feel like I want to kill myself and I don't understand it.