Idk if this is even going to help or anything, but I need to get this off my chest. I just cant stop thinking about my SO. Its been over before it even really started, she left before we were something official. We had known each other for a bit (about 7-8 months) and, well, I fucking ruined it, you guys know what im talking about. The constant insecurities showing, as soon as she doesnt text you think the worst. „Is she seeing someone else? She said sonething about that guy, is she seeing him? Sleeping with him? Fuck. Fuck her. I will tell her just how much that hurts me“. That kinda shit. She is my absolute dream girl, 10/10 body, such an amazing personality, so sweet and caring, etc. Its been almost a year, and, well, everytime I have a minute to myself my thoughts keep drifting to her. I keep fantasizing about her, keep thinking about texting her. Everytime I hear a lovesong or a sad song I think about her. I havent cried about anything in a really really long time, not when my dog died, not when my grandfather was deathly sick and we came to the hospital, but some-fuckin-how this girl is still enclosed in my retarded heart. Fucks sake. Sorry just wanted to vent somewhere.

Edit: Ive actually texted her, asking if she wanted to meet up for coffee or lunch. Her reply was, no, you said something about loving me forever, remember? So, no, we cant meet up.