He’s always been really good at handling my breakdowns and emotions and me going “crazy” but now its getting worse. He calls me mean and crazy and possessive and jealous. I wish he understood that I dont mean to be that way it just happens i cant control it and i apologize profusely afterwards but he said it doesn’t feel genuine. But i mean it , its just hard because part of me feels like it wasn’t me who was being mean, but i know i was. im just scared hes gonna break up with me. How can i talk to him about this he doesnt even know i have bpd and i have no plans on telling him. is there any way for me to avoid “hating” him and getting mad and being mean? it feels uncontrollable