I have been in therapy for 6 months and I feel like I'm not getting better. I have therapy multiple times a week and I try to apply what I learn in it but it just feels so wrong to do, it feels incorrect.

I've been fighting with my therapist lately because she said that my trauma was just a grudge. Because I'm just holding a grudge over my parents for them making me suicidal, for them never giving a shit about me. I feel like she invalidated all of it right there. Was she right to do that? Is she right? Is it just some silly grudge?

My mom goes back and forth between hating me and loving me every few months. My dad is mostly okay, although he defends my mom. I swear my mom has to be like bipolar or something, just going between loving and hating me for no reason hurts like hell and I don't know why she does it or what I did wrong.

I still haven't been any better to my close friends. I'm still impulsive and moody and can be a bitch to them sometimes.

At least I haven't abused substances in a while or hurt myself, but I feel like my relationships just keep getting harder.

My one thing to look forward to is starting antipsychotics in late October. So I'm really hoping those will work.

So yeah just a long rant. Is there actually any hope? Or should I just give up?