My partner and I bump heads when it comes to talking about BPD. He says it’s all in my head and that I can control it because it’s a choice. That I want to just tell myself I have BPD to justify my 
actions and when I tell him I have a clinical diagnosis on paper he refuses to see it or accept it. 


After arguments when I’m in a calmer state I try to tell him that it’s harder for me communicate effectively when I’m distressed and that solving problems in that mindset will only make things worse. When I react and realize it I step away to rationalize my thinking but by then my partner is already too upset with me to let me be. And the roller coaster begins when I tried to put the breaks on. 

He’s a great guy and wants to believe that I can overcome this by telling myself I don’t have BPD because he thinks our mind is that powerful but it’s so far from the truth. Any advice or tips that you partner uses when your distressed or any tips on how to approach this without getting upset?