My entire life I've been a push over and a people-pleaser. I will do things that make me uncomfortable just to make another person happy. And I also have let people treat me like shit my entire life. It kind of stopped after a high school friendship that was extremely abusive. I would allow my friend to boss me around, to pull my hair, to embarrass me in front of people, just to make her happy and to have a friend. Now, I would never let that happen ever again. I'm now able to cut people off who upset me a bit easier than I used to be able to. But for some reason, I can not confront people.

For example, if my roommates do something I don't like, I will complain about it to my boyfriend but I will not say a word to them. Any time I've ever confronted anyone in the past it literally feels like I'm having a heart attack while it's happening. My voice shakes, I start to cry, I have severe heart palpitations (like 10 in a row that make me feel like I'm going to fall over). It's horrible.

I don't know what it is that I'm so scared of. I'm not afraid of losing relationships anymore, because I've lost so many at this point that I don't even give a shit. The only person I care about keeping a relationship with is my boyfriend at this point. And with him, I'm not afraid to tell him if he's doing something I don't like. I'm assuming because I'm so comfortable with him? 

For example, my roommate did something disrespectful and threw her clothes on my side of the room. I sent her a text saying that I didn't like that she did that and to please not do it again. My heart was RACING, I felt like I couldn't breathe, I turned my phone off for hours so I wouldn't be able to see her response (which was literally just her liking the message I sent) and I thought about it for the entire day.

I want to be someone who can just speak their mind without caring at all. I want to be able to tell someone that I don't like something that they're doing or saying without my heart palpitating in my chest and feeling like I'm going to die. 

Anyone have any tips?