Hi, this is my first time posting in this sub (I'm typically over in /CTPSD or /Anxiety.

I'm 25, was "diagnosed" (doctor and therapist both agree, but for insurance purposes it is not currently listed as an official dx) with BPD about 4 years ago during a major flare up/meltdown. It's gotten better since then, lots of DBT, lots of self examination. 

I am a victim of childhood sexual abuse/incest. I won't go into detail, but I was abused for 1-2 years by a family member. I only remember one specific incident, but do know that it was ongoing. I went to therapy as soon as my parents found out, but that person was never forcibly removed from my life. I still see him, and he's about to have his first child. It's...disgusting honestly.

Anyway, about 6 years ago I was mildly involved with a long distance partner who introduced me to age play/little space and it changed me. The idea that I can dress in cute clothes that look more childish than something a 25 would wear (who doesn't like looking like a doll sometimes?), being treated like a princess, being a brat, and having a partner who will not only tolerate it, but enjoy it, and enjoy their role as a Dominant figure for you, is...cathartic. Essentially, Melanie Martinez's Crybaby album is fuel to my bratty rampages, and I am allowed to be a total mess, but still look cute and be adored for being, well, the worst.

My current partner is not quite as interested in that lifestyle, being a "Daddy" figure, or whatever. We're involved in other BDSM lifestyles, but that one isn't much of a go. 

Is anyone else involved in being little here? I can't help but feel like my BPD is rampantly uncontrolled when I'm listening to my BPD trinity (Melanie Martinez, Lana Del Rey, Marina and the Diamonds) and I just have to be a tiny brat.

I don't know. Maybe it's residual daddy issues. 