Happy birthday to me (26)

Happy unbirthday to the rest of you. 

I have been planning my Death day for my birthday for the past few years and this month I have chosen not to go through with it. 

The thing is I'm always in pain and I just don't understand why people chose to live in such a screwed up world. It's just hard to get though each day as it is... but on my birthday especially I feel like I don't exactly deserve to be here. I know I'm never enough for anyone, any job, anything and I just feel guilty for taking up more space. 

Living is painful but hopefully... hopefully I'll find something worth living for. Something that reminds me that living is beneficial and that I'm worth it. 

I mean it must be a sign that I had a change of mind but my heart and soul still ache for peace. Maybe someone to love me and vice versa. Who knows. *shrugs* 

Anyways, happy unbirthday to you and I hope you all find something worth fighting for each day and choose more birthdays!