My friend was going to come over to hang out but I had to reschedule the date, only to cancel it today again because I feel so horrible and can’t get out of bed. 

I really wish I could scream into the void and let people know that I didn’t want this to happen to me too, because people around me can’t seem to understand why.

As cynical as it is, of course it’s happening during Christmas. I never liked Christmas because I was always told to be by myself in my room when my mom’s friends come over. I remember hating the noise and feeling so alone. 

I’m so tired and I want to stop existing. I’m so behind in work but I’m completely glued on my bed. What’s the point in life if my body is physically compensating for all this mental trauma and stress?