I have been "depressed" and "suicidal" since 9-10 years old. It is a simple logical factual statement when I say that I have a distain and disinterest for life and living. I simply don't have an interest in living in society. Doing all the normal "life" things don't interest me. I can rant about what I don't like in life but ultimately it boils down to just not liking life. Getting an education, a job, a home, a family, etcetera etcetera. I don't care, or care to care. They call this depression but nothing bad has ever happened to me or my emotional state. I eat good food, have friends and a good grasp on how to talk to people even though I'm introverted. I read, play games, and watch movies/TV. I even have the elusive PS5. But ultimately, I am uninterested in living. Death doesnt scare me and I don't see me getting anywhere past 21. Probably going to get drunk and end it there. Again, not in a terrible mental state. I am thinking about this clearly while enjoying some Dragons Dogma. I understand that people will miss me, but my family had gone through great loss already and people who want to live seem to find coping mechanisms easily enough after some time. Yeah, that's about it. Comments are welcomed.