im writing this because i can’t talk about this to anyone. more specifically i cant say this out loud. i wanna start by saying that i’m generally very hard on myself even my gf pointed it out. when i’m angry i take it out on myself. disappointed? i take it out on myself. sad? i take it out on myself. and it’s all mental. after university started i’ve been doing good at managing the transition and my grades. i thought that i would be happy right now i always thought of reaching this step in my life but i am not.  more specifically im more anxious and just falling apart. my face twitches now?? it’s so weird my eye just frantically blinks or twitches. My lips also started to twitch sometimes i don’t even notice it. Basically my mental health has been hard to hide lately and it’s showing up in the surface. i’ve noticed this like two days ago when i went on hopeless stroll in the mall and mid way i realized i am empty. i just didn’t feel like i was there walking it was more of an outter body experience. and recently i have just been zoning out and the world goes quiet even tho it’s so busy around me while my heart pounds and i feel like my hands aren’t my hands. idk why i’m typing this but i just wanted to get this out. and it’s not like i’m sad i just don’t feel anything sometimes. idk