This year has been the worst year in my life by far. Mental problems, society ripping itself apart in front of my eyes, my family abandoning me and leaving me homeless. It's a shitty situation all around. 

My job is going to deny me a raise because I refused to drive 35 minutes away, using my own gas (which is worth more to me than food, since I'm very poor) to cover for some lazy piece of shit who just decided he didn't want to work. Fuck you, Bob, you useless shit. So I said no, and there went my raise. I don't care; 25 cents is just 25 cents after all. I'll just stay poor until I get the courage to drive my car off a cliff or put a bullet in my head. Maybe one day I'll give up on this job and find another, but in the state I live in the jobs are low paying and labor intensive unless you've got the experience to get into a decent job. 

I'm hungry, I'm pissed, I'm tired of this year... But most of all, I'm tired of being such a weak man. Men my age in the past lived lives of hardship and succeeded, and I'm here crying over this shit like a child. I just want to be happy again, guys. I peaked at 22, and I get the feeling it's all downhill from here.