Hello,

&amp;#x200B;

Last year I tried to end my life with a pill overdose, but failed and was diagnosed with MDD later. It was not easy getting better. But with the help of pills and psychotherapy, I no longer wish to kill myself all the time. But I feel empty. 

I've heard an excellent analogy to my current state: Imagine you lost your taste. Even if you eat your favorite meal, you don't feel the pleasure, because you can't taste it. So you stop caring about what you eat because it doesn't bring you anything. This goes for some time and then you stop eating altogether.

The things I used to enjoy are no longer enjoyable. So I spend most of my time in bed doing nothing. There is no reward for doing things. Even when I do something right, I don't feel anything.

It feels like my reward system is completely fucked. I wonder if I'll ever regain taste? That I will feel enjoyment from things again. Does anyone experienced/ is experiencing something similar? 

Thanks for reading. Have a great day.