i love my girlfriend so much, she means everything to me and i wouldn’t be able to live without her. i recently told her about my bpd and she doesn’t seem to understand that i’m gonna have it forever. that i cant get better and that i’m stuck with this godforsaken illness for life. i feel so horrible because she gets upset that i need reassurance and feels like she’s done something wrong when i ask for it. i dont want to make her feel guilty anymore but i’m too dependent on her to even think about breaking up with her. it’s so bad to the point where i start to spiral when she goes to sleep, i wish i could have a normal relationship with her. sometimes when i think too hard about the fact that i’m in a relationship i get this sick feeling in my stomach and i don’t know why. i just wish i didn’t have bpd so i could be a better girlfriend for her, i’m tired of splitting on her and making her sad i hate to see her sad but i don’t realise it until after the episode is over.