 So it has been like this for a really long time. There is nothing interesting or new happening in my life and everyday feels the same. It feels slightly better when I go out but idk I am just not happy. It feels like I am making a big deal out of it but I hardly feel anything. Most of the time I just feel like I am just existing, thats it. I also feel guilty because a part of me tells me that I am not even doing THAT bad and so this is probably just normal but at the same time I do not know what is normal. I kind of don't want it to be normal because it would just make me feel worse. Is that bad? I know people say knowing that you are not alone helps but it kind of doesn't help me. Makes me feel worse because I start thinking that this is normal. I have enjoyed feeling pain or sadness because of this. I don't even know what I am saying. I can't even empathize with other people because it just doesn't feel real, feels like something out of a movie. I have already told the few friends that I have about this because I don't want to hurt them. I think I also have destructive tendencies. I also can't choose between normal things like what colour I want my toothbrush to be. I don't know anything about myself as if I don't have a personality. I took the MBTI test and everytime I get something different because I don't know in which context I should choose the options.. does that make sense? I don't even know what song to play when someone asks me to. Even what I am saying right now doesn't feel real as if it is out of a movie or a book. I don't know if it is happening because of romanticising my life too much. Please help me and tell me what you think is happening. I really need it.