“I’m gonna fucking kill myself.”

Then back to being normal but miserable. Then again. And again.

Like it’s almost comforting, since I can’t deal with life, more than enough shitty things have happened to me for me to handle, so hey, fucking kill myself sounds great. I love how I probably wouldn’t ever do it unless a couple of things happen. I love how I’m feeling that way right now and forever which just confirms that I should just fucking kill myself now. I love how I am going to wake up tomorrow and deal with life all the same but feeling the way I feel right now.

When I die in an accident I hope it’s quick and I wouldn’t have time for regrets and self-resentment.