I want to die. It doesn’t feel earth shattering to feel or vocalize. I need to wake up my partner and tell her I need her.. I just don’t know what I’ll do though when she wakes up. I want to just suffer through this alone but feeling so so.. painfully, physically painfully emotional.. it’s very confusing. I don’t know how to even relay to her that I feel inexplicably pained by? nothing, existing? I hate that I am who I am some days. I hate telling close friends that my parents are bipolar because I know they must make the connection. I don’t want to feel how I feel and I’m mad about it and I’m feeling very overwhelmed and I do not know how to just ask for help. ; please please please help me and then? Cycle repeats. Im tired. My legs are restless. I have work in 6 hours. I just can’t turn my brain off and it makes me want to die.