I’ve never felt like this in my life. January was the one and only thing getting me through everything. I worked 38 hour weeks in repulsive retail dealing with entitled customers, I finally graduated after a long and unexplainable three years of studying. This holiday was my holy grail the light at the end of my tunnel and I’ve had to cancel it, and if that isn’t bad enough the reason I’ve had to cancel it is even more tragic. The way my chest feels has never felt like this. I have no words to explain what my brain is going through and I didn’t know what else to do aside from vent here.