I haven't clung to someone like this in a long time because I'm afraid of many things, abandonment really was triggered in this scenario. I met this guy and we talked for a couple of days around friends, and even talked for a couple hours about sensitive stuff. I immediately really liked him, he became my legitimate FP. Until, he suddenly ghosted everyone. He left chats, removed everyone and won't reply to us. I feel so bummed and discouraged. I'm not used to this. Usually I'm the one running away so I don't have to deal with anything. I don't like this. I really don't. I know I haven't known him for a long time, but we really hit it off. I want to know what happened, why he did what he did, why? I'm having a hard time coping, my feelings are becoming suppressed once again and I immediately retreat into my mental cave. Usually I'm very good at giving people advice, but when it comes receiving, it doesn't work in the slightest. Anyone could say anything and it doesn't phase me in the slightest. That's why I usually don't go to anyone anyways. What's the point? Nothing they'll say will help me. I know myself more than anyone else.  


Why? Why? Why?  


I'm sorry for posting this, I feel like my mind is trapped in a whirlwind. I'm beginning to split and I'm wanting to just abandon every relationship. I want to isolate myself. I want to be alone. I don't want any attachments. I don't want any responsibilities for anyone.  


This hasn't happened in a while and it's really fucking shit. I'm not used to it. I've been abandoned before, and I kept trying to reconnect with the people for months, because my FP was in there, until they finally let me back in. \[Which was just ridiculous, I know, but I was lonely.\]  


I'm having a hard time putting this into words, so I'm sorry if it's a mess. I don't know what to do, my mind feels like it came to a halt. I know life isn't stagnant, but still.