Hi all. I recently discovered this sub and have been lurking.. and you all are awesome. I will say I've never been diagnosed with BPD, but my former therapist and I have discussed the possibility of it, and basically, depending on how you look at it, I'm right around the threshold.  

I recently moved to a new city/state, but even before leaving it has been about a 1 1/2 yrs since last seeing my old therapist. I felt like I finally had a grip on things.. but with this move I've become very stressed, depressed, abusing drugs again, etc. So I sought out a psychologist here.. she was one of the first that came up online and had great reviews.  

Well, I met with her last week for the first time and once again today. I don't want to be pessimistic but don't have a great feeling about it. The first session she was just asking me questions the whole time, which I fully expected and wasn't bad. She had a very calm demeanor and was pleasant actually. Today though, it was very different.. she did like 85% of the talking.. and was kind of.. harsh? For example we talked about what I do/could do in my free time here, and I mentioned I'd be interested in joining a soccer league but haven't looked into it yet. She literally goes "well it's not that hard to look into, you just google [city name] soccer league and it pops up.. *laughing*" umm okay then... found that to be a bit degrading. I know she didn't mean it that way, but why would you say something like that... I could be overly sensitive.  

But then she asks about something I had said in my first session about not being happy with the move/my new job so far. I explained to her the job situation, and she proceeds to basically tell me that I should search for a new position within the institution, giving me straight up advice on what to do. Don't get me wrong I am very appreciative of some tips, but I mean, it's like therapy 101 that you don't give the client straight advice and tell them what they should do, let alone after hearing what I had to say for just a minute or two? As much as I dislike my job I'm really not sure if it's in my best interest to actively look for a new one right now. I was taken aback by such straight-forward, telling-me-what-to-do approach in just the 2nd session. There was no inquiry or follow up about what are your ultimate goals, what are pros/cons of leaving, what are the really specific issues that could be solvable, etc etc. I didn't even know how to respond and didn't feel that was appropriate conversation for just the 2nd session. In the first I had also disclosed some recent suicidal thoughts, and she did not ask about or follow up with that once today.  

I'm definitely going to give it another chance next week, but I'm already getting discouraged. If I don't feel it's right at that point that's $500 down the drain, and I'd have to awkwardly bring up that I don't want to go anymore, and repeat the same process with someone who who could also be a wrong fit.  

Has anyone else gone through this process of starting from scratch with a therapist, and if so any advice? Thank you so much. 