I apologise in advance if this is formatted incorrectly or not allowed, its
 my first post 😅


 Slight backstory- 
I (19m) was recently diagnosed with BPD early this year after having been struggling with my mental health for about 10 years. I worked out a couple things to help keep myself in control despite the rollercoaster BPD brings. Never rlly had an FP since I was pretty much ostracised by other kids in school with only a few mutual friends until recently. I now have one rlly close friend/FP and have been getting to know someone, which is where the issue lies.

Got to know them towards the start of year 12 (UK sixth form/start of college) a couple years ago and later developed a romantic interest but decided against it as they were in a relationship. During the first year of COVID, they break up and she started talking to me again (ex prohibited her from talking with guys, especially me). 

We start talking everyday and become super close. I went off to my first year of university late last year and came back a few months ago. We start hanging out and eventually we got to second base (great, my first time!). However, due to some unresolved stuff from my childhood/mental state going further than that wasn’t possible at the time it happened. The initial plan was to just be FB’s but after some talking we confirmed there was something more between us and put that stuff on hold until I’ve finished uni so we can give it  proper go if we r both still single (I should preface she stated that because of some stuff her ex’s have done to her in the past she stated for now she does wanna be in a relationship, and has also got mental health problems, which I’m totally fine with and understanding).

However, as of recently she’s been blanking me when I try to talk and seems like she’s pulling away and talking to someone else, which is great fun with the fear of abandonment and trust issues. My normal coping mechanisms aren’t working as much as they used to since I have little to no experience being attached this much to someone. I’m well aware cuz shes studying business rn and on holiday she could just be busy and talking to family but I cant help overthinking and feeling like I’m being abandoned again. 

Sorry for the long backstory but I just wanna give the most info for the best advice. Has anyone been in a similar situation or can recommend some coping mechanisms to keep my head from driving me crazy? I already try blaring everything out with music, going to the gym or on a walk, and drawing but they’re not as effective anymore.