At this point it feels like my sense of self worth is directly tied to things like tinder. I will literally feel a release of that happy chemical whenever my phone goes "bzzt bzzt" and let's me know "You have a new match". It feels so validating, but in such a hollow way. Worst is when I'll end up talking to multiple people at the same time, dividing my attention between three or so people that I find interesting, and often have the exact same conversations at the exact same time. It makes me feel like a scumbag, especially when I know I'm gonna have to stop talking to two of them out of nowhere as to not fuck up the one I "like most" even though I often will stop talking to them too after I get bored. Eventually I'll collect dozens of matches that'll lie in what I call the "conversation graveyard" which is filled with ghosts, some are from them but a lot are from me, and I just feel like a piece of shit. This is relatively new behavior too, it only started after I got broken up with by someone I deeply cared about, who also had BPD. Feel like my original intent was to fill the hole that break up left me, but now it feels like it's gone overboard, and I honestly dont know what to do.