I can never tell if I have a problem with my boyfriend/fp/whoever for a good reason or not.  The day before yesterday we couldn't see each other and we had had a mild disagreement about something small. After resolving it we got back to our sweet "I love you so much. I can't wait to see you." chatter. It evolved into talks of make-up sex and how badly we wanted one another. And what I wanted when we finally could be together. 

 For context: I have a lot of sexual assault and childhood molestation in my past. I haven't had sex sober in over 10 years, but I am focusing on drinking less nowadays. Meaning I don't get drunk anymore. He knows my history and my feelings. 

I have issues initiating sexual things even when I want them to happen.

Last night I didn't initiate because of prior issues. He didn't either. We went to sleep eventually.   This morning he tells me that I make him feel ugly and inadequate and unwanted bc we didn't do anything. I didn't expect that. When I told him that it made me not feel good for him to leverage sex against me he accused me of calling him a predator. Idk what to do