Right now my situation is pretty shitty; 

I gained a lot of weight last year that i decided to get rid of. Become better, healthier etc. 
- but all that working out and dieting lead to me losing a whole cup size, one of the few things i felt confident in and made me pretty. 

Since then i am spiraling down;
I realized that i am too ugly to be loved and too beautiful to be ignored/left alone -i don't know if its physically ugly or mentally.

I do feel like i lost my identity, and i realized how ugly i am truly, and i have to avoid my mirrors because I can't stand the person on the other side of the mirror. That is not me. 

Basically; 
Sex is easy for me to get, but not interest in a relationship. 
From my experience guys use every measure to rope me into sex/sharing nudes so much that it is making me reconsider if i am meant to be seen as an object or if i hold any other type of value, as i know my best traits but ... What good are your best traits if you are only seen as a living sex doll, even when you try to avoid this subject and tell everyone outright you don't want it?

Last part that contributes to my problem is social media, and meme-pages such as imgur, i am not purposefully searching for material that makes me feel inadequate, i even turned off certain filters.

But yeah, i constantly see beautiful women, women with big boobs, and #relationshipgoals, from Shane Dawson proposing to a plethora of half naked women with their big boobs showing.. 

It drags me down, but i have no job and nothing really to do .. 
I am 26, and it feels like my best before date was a year ago.




Tl:dr
This feeling of being only a sex toy with central heating combined with the struggle that i feel too ugly to be seen naked and being constantly bombarded with pictures feeding my insecurity and misery makes me crazy.

I don't want a relationship, and the logical part of me knows that I can't get any of my needs fullfilled, but my emotional side struggles and makes me feel shitty.

How can i combat this?
What can i do to get rid of this desire?
Basically; how can i accept that i have to stay away from people for my own sanity?