I have no idea how. All my romantic relationships have just fallen apart and crumbled, mostly due to my fear of intimacy and avoidant attachment styles. 

I just want a healthy relationship, but I always seem to end up in unhealthy ones. I think it's my BPD, but I can't seem to get emotionally attached to people in a safe, healthy way.

I have to stay distant and unreachable, or else they become my favorite person, and I go overboard with them, before idealizing them and growing wayyyy too attached.

I know this is bad for me, but I can't stop it. It's just how all my relationships have ended.

Help!