For those who are married or in a committed relationship. 

Me and my wife have been married for 3 years now. We have been struggling terribly with communication during my depressive episodes. My wife has high functioning autism so she struggles with communication herself, she doesn’t understand social cues like tone of voice or what to say. 

When I am in an episode I tend to get distant, not talk, struggle to make conversation, I’m not myself overall. 

I understand now that can be difficult to deal with, but I try really hard to snap out of it. Sometimes it gets difficult with suicidal thoughts and stuff. 

I have a hard time explaining to her that nothin is wrong, and that I’m just experiencing another episode. 
Every time she asks me what’s wrong I can tell she gets super flustered by how overwhelming my episodes can be. 

Today when she asked what’s wrong. She followed up with “there’s always something wrong with you, your always depressed”.. And that really got to me. 

I have already been feeling like a burden to her and feel terribly bad when I don’t feel good enough to wanna get up and do things with my family. 

This isn’t the first time she has said something like that. And every time, she says she doesn’t mean it like that. Today she told me she just wanted to show me how much my depression affects her. 
She says I misunderstood how she speaks, but things like that make me spiral severely.

I feel like a burden and im really close to thinking about divorce. 

These arguments where she says something damaging happen too often. 

Sometimes when I “misunderstand” her she will get angry and it leads to her physically assaulting me. 

I feel like a burden and I don’t know what to do. Someone please help.