Whenever I am alone, I always end up harming myself (ie. drinking until I pass out, chain smoking, cutting, or drugs). I can't handle being alone and I don't know why. On the complete opposite side, however, I can't bring myself to connect with people. I have about two friends who actually *know* me and half the time, I don't even like them. The rest are people I just spend time with/ go out with. I feel no connection with them. I string guys along if they like me. Truthfully, I think I *need* somebody, but I'm scared because I don't want to *need* anybody. I am in this constant state of wanting to be completely independent, but not being able to handle myself. Now I'm just rambling.
Can anybody tell me if this makes sense?