This is going to be a bit of a long text. Sorry 😅

I've been a member for a few weeks now. And I've been reading along with all of you on this subreddit. Trying to figure out what the hell is going on with me. I'm 37, female. Live in Europe, Holland. 


March 2020 sudden shortness of breath started with frontal rib pain and pressure. Also complete panic and very hard to breathe. Went to the ER, doctors thought it was covid or an allergic reaction. I wasn't tested back then, no pcr tests were available. But It wasn't covid. Months later I didn't show any T-cell response so they told me it can't have been an infection with covid. 
After that moment I lived in utter fear for months. Like a wave of panic and unreal feelings of detachment. I had chestpain, nerve tingles down my arms, headaches, heart rate was higher, neck pains, jaw pains and severe shortness of breath with checking my saturation all the time. Trying to calm me down. It did calm me down in the end. And after awhile the continue checking stopped. 

The pressure on my chest was and is the worst. Had an EKG, bike stress test, pulmonary exam, blood was checked, chest xray. One ER staff member said I was hyperventilating. She could see this in my blood work. So I was sent to do some hyperventilation excersises. Breathing excersises and was sent to a lung physical therapist. It didn't help. Still the panic attacks continued. Sometimes a few times per day. Also started having throat issues. Dry throat and jaw problems. I apparanlty had a gaping hole in my tooth that my dentist did not see somehow and an infection started and I needed a few root canals. After those my jaw has been tight and clicking and popping all day long and I was told it might be tmd. Will see a gnatologist in Feb. 

Then in Sept last year I was diagnosed with severe endometriosis. And last Nov 30th I had my endometriosis lap. After this lap and 3 days in hospital (I had general anesthesia and was very sick afterwards) I felt okay for a few days. But then the throat tightness, itchyness in the throat and extremely tight painful jaw muscles and tight chin muscles came on. And haven't left me. Because it feels like someone is choking me I inhale deeply at times. Which make the chest symptoms worse. I guess you might call this silent hyperventilation. Idk. I was also diagnosed with costochondritis by my physical therapist and now swelling on my upper sternum is visible. He now says it's called tietze syndrome. The swelling makes it hard to breathe for me. And the throat is def tighter when it's swolen.

I've had a few intense panic attacks after my surgery. And I feel on edge and anxious the entire time without a reason. The surgery messed with my hormones. And I started hormonal therapy, desogestrel mini pill 3 months ago. I spoke to my gynaecologist and he mentioned these feelings could be from the hormonal pill and wanted me to stop it.

So I did. And the unreal feeling, like living in a movie where my house is not my house dissappeared completely. I am still very anxious and on edge and restless but it's different. I'm not floating anymore. 

I also haven't been sleeping well since surgery. And noticing on the nights I do sleep well I feel a lot better the next day. But still.. I feel depressed, mildly, and find it very hard to enjoy life and the things that brought me joy I try to avoid. Because I can't focus on anything else then those imaginary hands that are choking me. 

I have a tight feeling in my throat 24/7. Gp is sending me to an ENT specialst. But also mentioned this could be jaw related. Or maybe from intubation from surgery.

I feel that I am anxious because my throat is tight. And if this feeling would dissappear I will be able to calm down again. But then again.. I wonder if ALL of this is anxiety related.

It's so so strange that these symptoms all of a sudden appeared one day in March 2020. While before I never had anxiety. I've been in chronic pain the last 6 years, leg pain nerve pain, stomach pain.. Because I didn't know I had endometriosis. So I've been on high alert (and long time painmeds such as ibuprofen) for years. But there wasn't any anxiety.

I'm trying to figure out what part is anxiety and what part is actually my body not being okay. I developed some health anxiety I think. But I've had a lot of diagnoses I wasn't expecting. (severe endometriosis and adenomyosis, tietze syndrome, sciatica, piriformis syndrome, TMD, epilepsy and lipedema,) I suffer asthma and severe allergies for over 30 years now as well. And I've developed new allergies recently and that's also given me high anxiety. I've had adrenaline shots for this last month. Since the feeling of throat closing worsened. But no one can know for sure if that wasn't "just anxiety". 

I've had a sleep ecg and my epilepsy is still there. While I hoped it would be gone. Since I haven't had a seizure in a while. Which brings on more anxiety. But also have to take more meds because of that. Which have side affects that can cause anxiety. And epilepsy itself gives you a sensitive nervous system)

I have no idea anymore what what is. I feel tight chested and tight throat even though I "think" I'm not anxious at that time. Its just there the entire time.
How am I able to figure out where anxiety stops and medical issues begin?
It's haunting me the entire day. And affecting my life.
I've been chronically ill my entire life and have dealt pretty fine with that. Or have I? 

But feeling on high alert all day long and these throat symptoms that get me on edge is depressing.
Doctors look at me funny nowadays. I'm seeing a rheumatologist soon since an orthopedic surgeon I saw for my shoulder pain suspects fybromyalgia or rheumatoid artritis. I mean... It's a lot to take in.

My psychologist doesn't really know what to do or say. So I'm kinda at my wits end. And want to feel comfortable and without any physical symptoms again.

Does anyone have any tips, tricks, ideas of what I should and should t do? Or someone with the same symptoms?