I had been struggling for about five years. Tried so many things to get better (therapy, TMS, meds…) the usual stuff. I was placed in inpatient for the first time last year, it was a terrible experience. 
   About three months ago a medication finally seemed to click. I was so overjoyed, the pain and mood swings were in control. I cried thinking I’d never see the day where I could be truly happy and satisfied with myself. For two months everything seemed perfect.
   Unfortunately the past month has been a downward spiral. I feel so hopeless. I’d go as far to say I feel even worse than I did previously, only because I had tasted a bit of “normality.” It feels like I’ll never be free. I’m lost. It’s affecting my marriage again. We were so happy. I’ve gone and ruined it again. I forgot how much I hate the mood swings. I freak out and then I feel a guilt so deep it almost pushes me off the edge. What am I supposed to do now? I’m tired of fighting this