Hi! A few months ago (like three), I finally accepted that I have anxiety after a two years of being in psychiatric treatment for suicidal thoughts (which I left behind, thank you very much) and after a lifetime of feeling sad and overwhelmed with life. It was quite liberating and realizing that thoughts are jyst thoughts, that they aren't real, lifter another weight off of me.

The thing is, like every overthinking anxious person, since last Monday I was thinking over and over, worriee about the songs that cross my mind, about memories that appear when something in the present reminds me of a past memory. It started making me feel terrible, especially because I had already felt that way a previous week. Meditating yesterday, I realized I had gotten scared of my thoughts and of feeling anxiety. And on, and on I went analyzing my thoughts (you can guess where I'm going with this).

So, a few minutes ago I read [this](https://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2014/08/19/7-science-backed-ways-to-get-out-of-your-head/?sh=12a1beef3273) article and ugh, I finally realized that what I've been doing all these days is RUMINATING over my thoughts. I was so in my head trying and trying to manage them that it became an obsession and made me feel terrible and anxious. I already knew about rumination, but I thought it was about thinking about a specific problem, but I realize it is about analyzing your thoughts too, how and why you think things. I guess, thinking too much over stuff it's damaging and in this case, it really was.

Today, I'm going to see my psychologist so I'm going to tell her about all this. I hope that this breakthrough can finally help me feel calm after almost two weeks of terrible anxiety. At least, right now my heart isn't racing or palpitating, and I'm feeling calm. Wish me luck for the rest of the day. Thank you for reading my story 💕