I have found out about this mental disorder and it seems like exactly what I am. I have always been searching for what is wrong with me. Depression? Anxiety? Bipolar? Then I saw the symptoms for this and I was amazed. I have always been emotionally switching. For the last year and a half I have really started feeling outside of myself. It is like my mind keeps switching from one thing to another career wise. I got into drugs. I cut and burn myself. Lately I blocked my FP for a whole week because she didn’t reply within 30 mins. I literally said “I know you hate me so I will stop texting you.” It wasn’t even the first time I have done that to her. My boredom will be all consuming. I can”t do anything for it. Although one of the key symptoms is fear of being alone and I don’t know if I have that. I prefer being alone. I think I do at least. I guess I am afraid of other people. Everyone tells me I am awesome and perfect. I still get good grades, do a sport, and extra programs. But I hate it when they say that. Like I do things you don’t know and I feel so guilty for being such a disappointment. My dad always says that he knows me better than I do. That is not true. My mind goes to dark places. Ugh. I don’t even have a horrible childhood, it is pretty average I guess. No rape or death. I always just feel pressure and guilt and fear. Well the thing I need advice on is that now that I think I have this do I tell my parents or something like that. Or wait until after quarantine. I have lasted this long without their help so yeah.