I used to be suicidal, but nowadays I feel like I don't even DESERVE the easy way out. I feel like my life has been failure after failure and let down after let down. Everyone who has given me a chance or tried to save me I've disappointed. I just can't get it right. Lately I've been having this fear of dying in my sleep, I'm a 24 year old male, I'm fat as shit. Have done too many drugs especially stimulants. I just dont think im gonna live to see the next year and every year since I was 16 I've felt that way. And tonight I just can't fall asleep cause I have the overwhelming feeling I'm going to die. And if I do, I'll be remembered as a failure and a fuck up. Not gonna lie to you guys, I aint doing okay at all.