I am 26 years old and im watching my family and friends pass me by with their great careers or business ideas and just a happy life style in general. I've been finding it really hard recently as I am working in a job I have no intention of staying in, I have tried to persue my dream job so so many times (video editor). I have been doing online lectures to learn this as I wasted my university years on a biology course I yet again had no intention of getting a job in, which i realised after getting the degree... I have tried side hustles and failed over and over and over again, and the constant failiure is really starting to get to me, I just want to turn the corner in my life, where I find meaning. But there are SO many obsticles and its making me feel that im just not enough, im not as smart as these 'gurus' you see online, i struggle trying to wrap my head around these ideas, and once I do and think I have it. I fail, and again and again. I think I was brought into this world to fail and just settle with what I have, I am relly not happy in the situation I am in, I am worried.

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I have never been depressed before, but I would definitely say this is the lowest I've ever been, I am depressed. I dont know what I am hoping to achieve by writing this, I think I just want to heard by someone.