My boyfriend doesn't even want to have sex with me anymore, because I'm so "clingy" and "available". Always begging for kisses, etc. Im his left hand. I don't even notice it. He feels horrible for pushing me aside (not physically, just telling me its enough), because he knows I'm not doing it to piss him off. He knows I do it out of love and I can't help it. But after the hundredth kiss half-way through the day, it's too much. And I 100% understand that. So, when he tells me its enough I feel rejected and hurt. Im good at controling my emotions, but I feel them internally. He feels bad because its so innocent and he loves me. The more he pushes away, the worse I get. I get more attention seeking. He says he feels so smoothered that he doesn't want to have sex anymore with me, because it's just too much. He says he never has the chance to initiate, because I'm always all over him. I love him so much. I don't want to ruin this. Then if I'm angry and really hurt, I switch, I hate him and want nothing to do with him. Yes, black and white thinking. I wish I could just be fucking normal, for fucksakes