I want this to end and honestly I don’t care if that involves me getting better or dying I just hate this. Im numb I can’t feel anything emotions besides anger and depression and when i am happy it’s when I’m just bottling up my anger and depression for fucks sake I’d rather be angry then numb I can’t do shit but smile cry and lay in bed and hate myself but at the end of the day that’s all I’ve ever been good at. 


The only thing getting my by these are is believing that after all of this and when I die then it’s over, no more pain no more fun no more anything just lights out.