I am facing a big dilema lately. I don't want to live but I can not kill myself. The reason why I can't do it is because I can't think of painless ways to end my life. I am not afraid of death, but i am afraid of pain. I have been in and out of depression many times. I will not fight my depression anymore. I have no more strength. It sucks when you just breathe but you are not living. I feel numb, dead inside and in a never-ending agony. This time it feels different. I dont want to fight it anymore. I just want to not exist at all.