I do not really know how to describe this, nor if seeking professional help would actually help me. Ever since I was little I have felt disconnected from my emotions. Sadness, happiness, hatred, love- all this emotions just "feel" the same. My brain recognizes how the response is supposed to be to make everyone believe I'm okay, but I have to put effort to have the sense of an emotional reaction. An example to maybe help explain a bit better: my brain has the same response seeing my best friend as seeing a complete stranger. I know that I do love my best friend, it's something I have recognized, but excitement or disappointment are not normal reactions for me. It's a constant indifference, where I make a point to behave a certain way as to not offend others.
I don't know if it's just something wrong in my head, related to my chronic depression, a coping mechanism, or just something wrong with my brain. (This extends back to my earliest memories as well, I do not know if my brain overruled the emotions in memories or not).


My best friends and SO do know about this, as I wanted to be as open as possible with them. They are never offended by a lack of emotional reaction, and many time appreciate the logical solutions I can offer in normally stressful situations. 

If anyone can help me to understand what is happening in my, anyone who has overcome it, anything, it would be appreciated.