My fp and I have had an on and off friendship with him drifting away when he was at college for a year. We barely texted and by this point Id thought I was finally over him. We hung out when he came back with our families and it seemed like he was trying to reach out. I realized I wasn't over him and started thinking about him all the time even though I tried to shut it off. He asked for my Spotify out of the blue a week after. I never share my music with anyone because I tend to listen to depressing/angry songs that conflict with how I think most people view me. I also use music as a kind of safe place and in the past when I've shared it with other people it's ruined it completely for me to the point that I can't listen to those artists anymore. But I decided to be "brave" this time. Be honest and let him see me somewhat. So he followed me and I followed him back and everything seemed great. A little bit of background on him that I think might explain but I'm not sure: his family's pretty christian (as is mine) but his playlists had songs that you wouldn't expect typically (mentions of drugs, sex, etc) mine are worse but not by much. He was only following his brothers, two other friends and I. Then a day later he just blocks me so I can't follow him and unfollows me. He also unfollowed both his other friends and is only connected to his brothers. I don't understand why. Why would he try to connect if he was just going to pull away? I feel horrible and like it's my fault like I should never have given it to him or I should've let him follow me but not let him see my music. Is my music so bad that he can't talk to anymore like an I really that horrible? I don't understand and I feel like I want to kill myself. I drank a bit last night to try and shut off my stupid brain but I just can't. I really really want to just text him and ask him why but I don't want to be clingy and pathetic and I think that's the only way he'd see that. Our relationship was barely there as it is and I just feel like I fucked up connecting with him. I'm just so so sad and so sorry. Just please tell me why don't just leave me like that.