Like, basically I have so much trauma and pain that I’ve had since I was a child that now being 26, I’m recovering and trying to heal.. but I realize that the source is my grandma and aunt, and I don’t want them to die and me not be able to celebrate their life. I don’t have hope in the future.. I don’t have any motivation.. my sleep patterns off, I lost my job and can’t find one around my city.. I don’t have many friends... I feel worried about everyone around me.. but I get upset bc I know they don’t care about me like I do them.. I feel like the only place I belong is with my husband and in my house. I feel like an outsider to everyone.. I realize that I’m not happy and my family tells me often that “what ever happened to that happy eyes kid?” And I get so hurt bc idk what happened but I’m hurting and no one cares.. no one has taken responsibility for their actions towards me. My mother suffers from panic disorder and anxiety and growing up I heard nothing but constant “oh I think I’m having a heart attack or a stroke” every time she had a panic attack.. and that caused me being young so freaked out about having random pains.. :/ sorry for my rant.. tLDR; idk if I’m depressed or suffer from something else.. what were you signs that you were depressed?