Hello everyone, I (19f) usually never reach out to anyone during my bpd episodes, but lately my brain has been unlocking memories left and right. I feel that I have to tell someone.
First of all, my mom and I have had a teeter-tottering relationship ever since she remarried (I was about 7 or 8) and we moved to the US. Her husband was predatory, and I didn’t realize until very recently. I never said anything, but she seemed to notice that something was off, because she would get upset if I’d spend time with him or if he bought me something. He introduced me to marijuana, and that caused trouble in my relationship with my mom for years to come. Of course, it was all me in her eyes. It was a mutual understanding that I wouldn’t say anything to my mom :/ so I always took the blame. He also facilitated alcohol and nicotine to me as a minor. If I’d ask him for a favor that he knew I couldn’t ask anyone else, such as taking me to get a tattoo, he’d tell me that if I put on my mom’s dresses for him he’d do it. He would tell me to not tell anyone (this went on for the entirety of my high school years). God what a fucking sick individual. 
There’s so much… I caught him twice, lifting my comforter off of me as I slept. I usually slept in my underwear. When I was 16, him and my mom were “separated,” so he asked me TO MY FACE if I could “give him a chance.” This is a man that has known me most of my life at this point. This is the fucking “man” that my mom is married to.
He would constantly have these “shit talking sessions” about my mom with me, like throwing coal into a fire that was hardly contained. He would go and bitch at my mom about me. I’m happy to say that I cut off communication with him some months ago.
AND TO TOP IT OFF. I randomly remembered instances where my mom had sex with that man in the same room as me, and even in the same bed.

My brain won’t stop and it’s… not good. Idk what to do. Therapy, maybe?