Back when I was kid and was rejected by everybody I thought people didnt wanna be my friend cuz I was ugly but I wasn't so I thought I had to look like them maybe so as far as I remember I always analysed people memorized their reactions to anything really in order to seem normal I wasn't normal I've never been so I needed to observe normal people in order to infiltrate them and to be accepted . That process took years to work and it's still not perfect I am now 18 and I only started to make friends 4 years ago still my strategy is not perfect you see I mostly fake my reactions since my real ones are either nonexistant  or negative but these dont really make people wanna be your friends so I always fake smile and say something positive it's like I am playing a role being someone I'm not .

Anyhow,  this year I decided I wanted to be pretty I ve been hiding my true potential for years and I wanted to feel pretty I wanted to be the most beautiful creature around whitch I was however it only made people resent me for it I was nice to these idiots and they made me pay for it I faked my reactions to make them happy inspite of what I felt like and they ignored me they humiliated me betrayed me and made me mad someone like me shouldn't be dealing with that kind of stuff any advice