*I know the importance of being totally honest with providers. I know that they can't help if they don't have a full picture. As a little bit of background, I've had 3 inpatient stays, 1 residential stay, 3 partial hospitalizations, 3 intensive outpatient stays and have been on medications and in therapy for years. I'm finally seeing a trauma therapist after being diagnosed with Complex PTSD last fall. The problem is that my entire family has completely invalidated my experiences recently. My ex husband, mom, brother.....I'm working on going no contact with them and have already put some boundaries in place, but I have a child so it isn't a clear black or white thing. This has all occurred in the last couple of weeks as well.*

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*I see my therapist today and I'm not sure how honest to be with him. He's aware that I've been self-harming on a regular basis. He's aware that my eating disordered behaviors are also occurring regularly. He knows that there are times where I justify that self-harm is okay because I'm \*not\* killing myself. This past week has been really bad though. Like, researching bad. The thing is that medication doesn't work since my body has issues absorbing it. The medical marijuana isn't at the right strength so that's not helping. If I go to the hospital, they are going to change my medication and will not allow the medical marijuana, so that is just going to screw with what my psych is trying to do. If I go to the hospital, that will also potentially give my ex and parents the grounds to try for full custody of my daughter which would also be a bad thing. On top of all that, I've already got nearly $9K in medical bills from residential and outpatient services from my stays this past summer. I supposedly hit our out of pocket maximum back in May, yet I got a bill for $2K for treatment in June. Apparently some insurance companies don't actually follow the whole "out of pocket max" thing.*

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*I have no clue what I should do or how to proceed. I feel like I'm screwed either way.*