I’m single again. Which means I’m back on the carousel of dating apps where I’m all but screaming with every swipe “notice me”. 

I’m getting depressed at not getting liked enough.

I’m getting depressed at going on first dates and then having them not be interested enough to want a second date (even though 99% of the time I also DONT want a second date, but I want them to ask me so I can be the one declining and not feeling rejected)

I can’t stop obsessing in my head about people not wanting to be with me because I’ve gained weight. It’s become really unhealthy.

Why can’t I be okay for 1 week at minimum without swiping for validation, without feeling like I need somebody interested in me? 

I’m so sick of myself.