I feel hollow. Usually I feel down, but now I’m just hollow and paranoid. I’m scared to be alive, because I’m terrified everyone wants to take their jabs at tearing me down. I’m terrified my stability I have found is going to crumble. And it will, it usually always does. But now I just feel hollow. And hollow for me is bad. I feel this way before I seriously consider ending my life/attempt to. 

It’s as if my body has has begun to rid all that tethers me down, to prepare for the end. I just don’t know how to live with guilt, shame and failure anymore 