"Help, I'm on fire!" screams a man in a plaza. The people around him turn to see that indeed, he has caught flame and is in grave peril of burning to death. They rush to his aid. The flames are extinguished, and relieved congratulations are shared all around. A life has been saved.

This is attention-seeking behavior doing its job. When a person is in danger, and panics, and cannot help themselves, they seem to instinctively cry out for assistance to anyone nearby. At its most basal level, this is what we know as "attention-seeking behavior." Over a period of time, and with liberal application, it's become a "dirty" phrase, something we know to be morally reprehensible with our illuminated views of the world and its contents. It's something we have little patience for, and offhandedly condemn. It's the way of the world, we say. 

I posit that "attention-seeking behaviors" are desperate cries from individuals that need assistance. Whether or not we know how to help, we are in no place to condemn such a cry for help. When did crying for help become reprehensible? There are realms of suffering that are not immediately apparent to every person. That does not mean there is no peril. 

At every age and stage of life people need help for infinite various reasons. There's always something going on. It's inconvenient to be asked for help. It's terrible when there is no help to offer. It hurts immensely when there is nothing you can find to ease the pain of someone begging for relief. That's our empathy. 

I propose that it is inhumane and cruel to attempt to mitigate the suffering of the caregiver by placing blame and contempt upon the suffering. It is the first, most natural response to do so, obviously. It is a horrible thing to help someone you love die. Anyone who hasn't experienced it has a difficult time comprehending what it means. It involves a lot of resentment. 

There is so much resentment towards the people we feel we cannot help. We cannot stand to hate ourselves for our inability to help them, the pain is too great and too deep. Generally we resort to blaming them for inflicting their pain upon us. It's why we see jaded doctors who despise their patients. It's the source of abuse in hospice and elder care homes. We hate the things we cannot stop, the things that we may well yet become. It is terrifying.

I suggest, as an aid, a certain indulgence in personal suffering. A recognition of pain, versus its rejection. To understand and accept your own valid suffering is not to deny the suffering of other people. We all suffer together.  We all have that in common.