About two or three months ago I found out that my dad is in jail for murdering a family of four while high on meth (my mom told me he stole a car) and my life has been getting worse and worse, when I found out about it I hid the fact that I knew from my mom for a while before telling her. Idk why, I guess it was because I didn't want my mom to be stressed about my mental health. When she found out she took my to get into a psychologist and we were told it would take 3 months until I can get an appointment and idk what to do, I'm stuck living in a cheap ass apartment infested with bugs with my annoying ass brother and my mom with nothing to do but watch youtube, cry, or sleep. I really have no options but wait 3 excruciating months or kill myself which I don't want to do but it's been getting more and more enticing. The problem is that I'm only 14 and my life has literally only been shit, I lived with an abusive meth addict for the better part of my life, I haven't lived in an actual house in 5 - 6 years, I recently moved so I have no family to talk to except my cocaine addict sister, my mentally ill big brother (who also might be a coke addict), or my mom who always says the same thing "everything is going to be fine", and I have no cell phone service so I can't call any suicide hotlines or any of that shit. I don't fucking know what to do. I just had a mental breakdown where I collapsed on the floor and cried for half an hour while my mom tried to tell my that everything is fine, idk I really don't know what to do.