Hi, 

I’m new to this community, I really appreciate it exists. Currently things have gotten really bad with my mental health. My suicidal ideation is back and it’s really intense. My moods are either really depressed or numb. Recently my ex stopped talking to me because I shared too much about my mental health. I hate that the ruined things. I’ve decided to isolate myself from friends because I’m really afraid of more people leaving. 

I’m in the process of finding a new therapist because my old one is moving/thinks I would benefit from something more structured like DBT. It’s really tough to find a therapist and until then I feel like I can’t make it. I’m starting to lose hope and I’m so tired. What if therapy doesn’t work? What if everyone leaves me? I’ve lost the idea of who I am - usually it’s tied to who I’m in a relationship with which I know isn’t healthy.

Please comment your thoughts or any advice you have, I would be really grateful. Thank you for reading 