I know there are kids my age around the world struggling for food everyday or fearing that they might get shot walking to school, and that's why I feel like an asshole saying this, but I hate my life. I am 24/7 one of the most optimistic people in the room and will always see the good in people and try to make everyone's day better. People always tell me "I bet you have good karma" and other religious and superstitious ideas. However, day in a day out, I wake up, shower, step out and see myself in the mirror and all I see is a failure. I've never been the smartest kid, or the most athletic, my one true passion and talent is that of music, and I like to think I'm pretty good at it, experience considered, in fact it's what I'm going to college for, music education that is. Of course my parents don't want me to go to college faraway, partially because they are scared of me leaving, partially because they don't want me being strapped with loans and partially just because well, they can't afford it. The only school I can afford to go to near me is one of the last schools I want to go to as they enforce a learning of classical music and there I wouldn't be able to follow my passion of jazz. And time and time again my parents say, "we support your dreams". HORSE SHIT. I'm not even truly depressed I'm just am angry. I have never intentionally put somebody down, I never will, I always will help someone if I can, I always have and always will do everything in my power to brighten someone's day, so why can't the favor be returned? If karma is real and any god there is truly does recognize good deeds and pay them back, why can't I simply afford to go to a good school, I don't want to live in a mansion or have a nice car or be a member of a country club, all I want is to get a better education, an education I WANT TO GET. How many times have you heard that eh? A 17 year old begging whatever watches over us to be able to afford to go to school. I know I sound like an entitled brat, I just don't understand why someone who want's to help people can't help themself. Thanks for reading if you got this far, if not I understand.