such a edgelord title ik. but it hurts so much. 
i have so so much love to give and because i have bpd no one can ever match my feelings as intensely. my girlfriend and i have been dating for three years, so obviously the honeymoon phase is over for her( she’s also my fp) . this feels like the absolute cruelest form of abandonment, though i realize it’s not her fault. i still feel like in the first months, i get nervous around her and i’m always complimenting her and calling her cute pet names and planning gifts and surpsises for her. i love her so much. i know it’s not her fault but i wish she would do those things too. i go to therapy and my psychologist told me my girlfriend just loves me in her own way which is fine but it never feels fulfilling. i miss feeling wanted and like she has a crush on me and i miss how thoughtful she was. i love planning things for her but every now and then i would just love a gift for myself. it’s not her fault and i’m trying to accept her love because she’s giving me all she can offer, but it doesn’t feel like enough. sometimes i wish the honeymoon phase wasn’t over for her or she could somehow give me the same intense bpd love. last night i told her i miss how she used to talk to me and i started crying. she comforted me but nothing changed since then. she says i didn’t give her enough time but i know i would’ve done something immediately and i would’ve made her feel loved if things the roles were switched. 
i’ve been crying for the past 4 hours. i know i’m not supposed to say or think this but i feel like if i were someone else she could give me more love. 
how are you guys coping with the honeymoon phase being over? any advice?