I have suspected for some time that my partner may have undiagnosed BPD, and has been unknowingly coping with it for many years. Over the weekend, they were arrested and charged for domestic violence towards me. I'm not mad at all and for me, it is absolutely a result of their mental illness and not *them* as a person. It's not the first time they've become violent during what seems like an 'episode', but it is the first time they've been caught doing it by the law and now everything is out of our hands. They're going to court and the best possible outcome, I feel and desperately hope for, is that this will be dealt with as a mental health issue and not a criminal one and they will finally get the diagnosis and treatment they need.

It shouldn't have come to this and I am devastated beyond belief that it has, even despite my best efforts to get them into therapy, help them get a job and even minimise their substance intake with healthy boundaries.

What did it take for you to receive your diagnoses? Was it a relief? What kind of treatment are you receiving and what is your outlook? I have so many questions and I don't know what's going to happen. I still want to make my life with this person and am committed to supporting them through this process any way I can.