Seriously, this is fucking agony. Hanging on every word they say, noticing every little change in tone or energy, feeling like a burden no matter how hard I try to be good to them, feeling like because they aren't obsessed with me like I am with them that I mean nothing to them and that I'm unimportant. Knowing that all these things are irrational and yet STILL it affects me to such a degree that I shut down and can't deal with my life and I'm miserable. I'd rather feel nothing for anybody. This is torture. Yet I continue to cling to people like a fucking idiot. I want to let go.