I just lost my best friend after driving her away for the last 7 months. Even though I finally let her go after essentially begging her to stay with me, I miss her excruciatingly bad. It feels awful being alone all day and night with no one to talk to, none to get along with (not like anyone can, I'm insane and have no personality).

The majority of my "friend ships" have been just adults abusing me for the last 7 years, and I don't get along with my family. She was the only one I had but I fucked up tremendously.

I'm alone. Until I recover from this I'll always be alone. It feels wrong to even think about wanting friends. Shit interacting with people as a whole doesn't even feel real. I'm tired of this