Hi, so I’m almost 19 and was appointed a psychiatrist when I was hospitalised a few months ago. I learned they were assessing me for “EUPD” (BPD). Where I live all of the professionals call it EUPD. I’m not sure if they are still assessing me or not, but after looking into this condition I fully agree with their speculations. It makes sense because while I do have extreme mood swings, I know I don’t have bipolar because they don’t last very long and I wouldn’t say I ever get manic, just hyper and impulsive. To clarify, I have autism which is why they aren’t sure whether what I’m experiencing can be explained by autism? It irritates me because autism isn’t a mental illness and it certainly doesn’t cause what I’m experiencing. The term “emotional instability” is something I’m hearing a lot lately. I phoned my junior psychiatrist today and told her about my obsessions with people. I tell her this because it causes a lot of distress: I get upset (even suicidal) if I feel they are going to leave me. This is called a favourite person in this community, I think. Only problem is for people with BPD it is more to do with friendships rather than crushes. But I fall in love so quickly and feel heartbreak like nothing else. Am I just an obsessive freak? I’m worried my psychiatrist will just blame everything on autism but I KNOW something else is here. My mental health worker even told me to research BPD because i have some traits. It’s taking ages and I feel like I’ll never find out what’s wrong with me. Maybe it is just autism and I’m destined to suffer. I was even prescribed an antipsychotic to help with my mood swings. Why fucking prescribe me anything if you don’t believe I have this illness? There is no medication for autism. 

Is loving someone (an authority figure or someone who will not love me back) to the point of wanting to die and worrying about never seeing them again indicative of BPD ie favourite person?