Or probably early in the morning as I'm now up at 4am feeling like crap. Incoming long and incoherent rant warning. Something has triggered me lately and I am still figuring out what it is. It could be the depressing tv shows that I accidentally came across lately. Makes me wonder why there's no content warning anywhere given the totally nihilistic content and horrible death scenes etc. I might have also consumed a little bit more of the world news than I used to, and everything looks so negative.

In a futile attempt to fight the feelings, I have spent almost an hour searching for uplifting stuff to watch or read for the next day. Then, I get even more anxious and ruminate more, which might make me stay up all night. I am wide awake and cannot fall back asleep anymore.

This feeling might also have something to do with my quarter-life crisis, which never seems to end. Starting to feel numb again about life in general and that feeling has crept into my relationship, which is rather scary. I cannot plan more than a year ahead in my life and can't find anything to look forward to/celebrate. I am in many ways not a full-fledged adult even though I hold a job. Ah, the job. It is one of the many problems I face in life. Stupid shift hours be messing up my body clock.

I should probably end this rambling and either get some shut-eye or read one of the light-hearted novels I found. Really hope I could at least get a peaceful Sunday without spiralling into the abyss of depression.