After being diagnosed with chronic BPD and doing some digging online, (but also “within”) I’ve been spiraling a bit. Thinking on every fight, every intense emotion I’ve felt, all the times I felt I was right/valid in my actions/emotions, thought my reactions fit the situation, every time I had expectations I thought were realistic and devastated by the outcomes, and I just don’t know anymore. I’ve always considered myself a fairly rational person, considering the trauma I’d been through. Now I’m fighting and questioning my own mind constantly. Was it really all me? Was it really all my fault? 
What makes this more complicated is that I was in a very abusive relationship for years, physical and emotional abuse and neglect. Everything I’ve done to try and heal and tell myself that I’m a survivor is kind of all just unraveling and I’m starting to believe all the nasty things I’ve been told for so long. Is there anything I can do to help control this constant self doubt, and see things for what they really are?