I'm an 18 year old boy who is finishing high school. I'm quite confident that for the last 2 years, beginning right after I returned to school after covid, I've been struggling with quite bad anxiety. I've never been diagnosed or even been to a practitioner. 

I belive school to be the root of my problem. I used to love going but now that can't be further from reality. Things like class speeches and exams would have me stressing and worrying weeks in advance. I'd go into class every day worrying weather or not today is the day we do unprepared speeches or something stupid like that. However now I'm in the final stint of my schooling career. I'm half way through my final exams and I don't think I've been mentally worse off in my entire life. Every morning before I write I feel so horribly anxious to the point where I can't even eat more than 3 bites of my breakfast. It gets even worse when I get to the exam hall. By this time I'm sweating and my stomach feels like it wants to explode. 

I don't remember many days since the end of coivd, probably  5, where I wasn't stressed to go to school and even if I wasn't at school I was stressing at home about going to school. School became a place of anxious memories for me, a place where even if there was nothing to worry about I'd still be anxious because of its status in my mind. 

I feel like this is holding me back. I soon have to look for a job however, however ungrateful this may sound,  I don't want one, it scares me. I don't think I could have one with my current mental state. I would love to get a job I'm passionate for and I know there are such jobs avaliable to me but I just feel I can't do it right now. My anxiety I feel now is not only at school but in my normal life aswell. Sometimes I get so nervous to go stand in a line at a shop and just say thank you to the cashier. I know this might sound corny but everything also feels more dull. I rarely get excited for meaningful things. For example I passed my driver's and I felt like it meant nothing to me or I get a package I order, something that used to feel like Christmas now feels unexciting.

I probally havent even covered half of what makes me anxious.
 But I really wish I didn't have this problem. I really wish I could express my personality to my fullest again. 

Thanks for reading. This is my first post here so this was kinda just a thought dump. Have a good day🙂