
I just never think my thoughts are valid and am scared of them coming off as harsh and bitchy. This usually stops me from discussing how I feel with friends, and I become a doormat out of fear of sounding unreasonable. 

For instance- my closest friend has very little concept of time and plans, so she'll invite me to do something and then forget she ever did, or make plans with someone else and forget that I asked first. I feel like a five year old when I try to explain how this gets to me, but now she's got a mutual crush and the guy shows up without warning and makes me the thirdwheel to what I thought was girltime, or I get blown off for him and then have to listen to her gush about what they did together. I tried explaining myself, but I feel like I'm overreacting and taking things too far and sounding mean when I'm not trying to be.

I feel like I'll always have some jealousy I need to control when my friends give attention to other people, but I don't know how to tell when the problem is me overreacting or if there's actually something to discuss. I sound jealous and bitchy and don't know how to fix it.