What the fuck am i supposed to do?

I'm 29 and i have no direction in life... I have an ok job, great friends and a gf who loves me. 

So for about 3 years now i went on sick leave for about 2 years for my depression and anxiety. Highly  suicidal and pretty much and empty shell.... But then i started to feel better, mostly cuz i got kinda bored sitting at home and alot of help from my therapists. I stopped going to her about a year ago, but now im starting to think i should have continued...

I started to think about my future, so i recently took up some studying that i needed to get a better job. But about a month after I started i just got super anxious cuz I just felt whats the point? I'm not gonna succeed and most definitely not gonna find a better/dreamjob. I should probably get some help again, start with my medication.... Been fucking depressed since my teen years. Can you ever be happy?