To begin with: It’s not just about never having these things. I have been asked out and even offered sex, but at the time I was having mental health issues and just felt very uncomfortable with both sex and relationships because I was uncomfortable with myself. I’ve had self-esteem issues for over 12 years, and I genuinely feel I have improved greatly over the past 2-3 of them.

That being said, I still get anxiety around these topics. I was talking with a nsfw friend on reddit about her sexual experiences and starting having a bit of a panic attack. I believe it revolves around the ideas that I’m missing out on having romantic and sexual experiences (I also have a pretty high libido).

Part of the reason I don’t get to have any romantic and sexual experiences is because I live with my older parents. They’re generally pretty relaxed, but require a lot of assistance day to day. I eventually plan on moving out (I have a remote job but not enough funds to fully do it) but in the meantime can’t really leave the house much. I don’t have any irl friends, I don’t have my own car, and my parents have had covid leading to them getting very sick but recovering. I really don’t want to put them at any risk for that again. 

My parents also tend to be very old-school, so bringing a girl to the house would be incredibly awkward, and leaving the house to see a girl (or person in general) would lead to endless questioning and pestering.

I have used different apps including reddit to meet girls and talk with relationship or sexual intentions. It’s very fun, but still leads me to feeling very lonely and nothing has actually turned into a full-blown relationship (most seem to not want to do something long distance).

Where do I go from here? I feel like I’m a decent looking guy in decent shape, but despite that my lack of confidence has stopped me from doing as much as kiss a girl. I’ve improved and feel happier and healthier, but now I feel trapped.

How do I begin to have my own sexual and romantic life? Does it truly require going out even at the potential health risks of my family?

As of now my plan it just to keep trying to make money so I can move out. But I have no clue how long it will take.

Thanks for reading and I appreciate any advice.