Hello everyone. I have derealization for 1.5 years almost constant, sometimes its symptoms really subside but it never goes away. I remember how it all started, with panic attack, so i am a smoker ( i am trying to stop smoking) also i have health anxiety since i can remember its like part of me, so it all started with a thought while i was smoking and i felt an ache on my chest. I was with my friends, i had a panic attack and my brain suddenly entered a dreamlike state(derealization) It sucks up all my energy. I hate it, i want to be normal again. My vision is the most annoying one. I see things like out of focus like i see everything but i cant focu anything, i just see... Just like in dreams. Thats why its called "dream like state" and the worst of fears is that it feels like it will never go away and i have to live like this until i die, i am 21 male by the way. I read that derealization triggers anxiety and anxiety creates derealization so am i in loop? But i feel like i have no stress or really small amount of stress. Is it possible that having anxiety without knowing it? I try to find a psychologist but we live in a pandemic so i dont know what to do, i have no answers and i dont want to live like this, i can not live like this, i just can't.