My partner and I have been on thin ice throughout our 3-year relationship, but it seems like it’s going to take a turn for the worst. He says I’m unwilling to help myself and I need to accept that I’m manipulative in our relationship. I am in therapy but not sure what else to do. I cry every single day, have rage attacks, hit myself, etc. and he simply cannot handle it anymore. He deals with chronic pain so he can’t deal with this on a regular basis. I do not want to be completely alone due to a mental illness. I want to feel like I’m worthy of being loved. 

What more can I do outside of therapy to minimize the outbursts? I try to be as mindful as possibly but triggering situations always get the best of me. I feel like I’m doing a little better than I was a year ago but it’s still not anywhere close to good enough. My behavior is just not acceptable at all but I feel like, after years of these explosions, there’s no possible way I can control myself..