I wasn’t sure whether to post this in r/BPD or r/CPTSD as I am receiving therapy for bpd (cbt-pd, in the UK) but was told this morning by a occ health psychiatrist they think I have cptsd. Maybe it doesn’t matter either way.

I’m in a long term relationship (upwards of 5 years) and we live together. My MH impacts the relationship - I do have difficulty being alone, and can become triggered when alone easily, particularly if they stay out longer than expected etc. 
I’m having trouble understanding whether my partner is unsupportive or if I just have skewed expectations due to bpd/trauma. If my partner knows I am upset, should he not want to come back to be with me? E.g. following my appointment this morning, I have been very upset all day, and in fairness I have not explicitly said this to him, but he knew about the appointment and has gone for a drink after work meaning he will be back late and I am alone for even longer. Now I am feeling unloved and like he doesn’t care. 

There are multiple instances of things like this, sometimes he is well aware that I am feeling very low (e.g. recently he went out for the night spontaneously with friends, I was very upset but managed to keep it in all night, until the morning when I texted telling him i was suicidal… he still didn’t come back until the afternoon). How do I differentiate between someone being unsupportive and not caring, versus me being unreasonable? I know I can act very unreasonable and OTT once I am already triggered, but I don’t know how to tell when its a valid reason to be upset or not. 

Any insight in managing this?