I basically suddenly wanted to throw myself off the balcony. I’m currently under severe distress due to exceptional circumstances in my life forcing me to make a choice in which, regardless of what I opt for, I’m bound to make huge sacrifices. This sparks panic attacks. I was on my balcony having a smoke and feeling my anxiety mount, when out of the blue I had the distinct desire of jumping off the fence. It was complete unanticipated. I had never been suicidal. Cognitively I had always ruled out the option without lingering that much. And even emotionally I had never felt it worthwhile to engage in life threatening conduct. But now it was almost instinctual. A primal drive commanding me to comply to its appalling order. I’m still in shock, and now I’m afraid I’m on a slippery slope as far as my mental health goes. I’ve lost control of my thoughts once, who guarantees me It won’t occur again? Will I eventually need to get on meds?