Hi! I'm a 20 y/o woman, facing a dilemma that I wanted advice on but feel too embarrassed to talk to anybody about as they might judge me. For starters, I suffer from anxiety and depression. I rarely go out because I'm so disgusted with all of the weight I've gained since the penny era. With all of that said, I met this really amazing guy online (I never planned on liking him or talking to him) We've been talking otp and texting for 7 months and facetimed once. I've built this incredible connection with him like I didn't know was possible. Problem is, we've never met irl... and he literally lives a couple of minutes away. *\*This post was from a few months ago, I'm adding on to this and we are now NEXT DOOR NEIGHBORS in the same apartment complex, I didn't plan this and never wanted this to happen. Actually, my worst nightmare, and I'll tell you why.\**

I kept making excuses for not seeing him before because I am feeling terribly insecure about my appearance right now and I'm basically a hermit, I barely go out to have fun, and being a full-time student at a university (that I mostly attend online) is my only current occupation. But y'all, he's the sweetest and most understanding man I've ever talked to and he's interested in *me*. The emotional bond I have with him is so beautiful, we've cried together at 4 am as he unpacked his hurts like him being SA'd- something he's never told, anybody. I'm so honored for him to have trusted me like that, I liked him even more getting to know him. He's a healthy communicator and taught me how to be one. Nobody's ever liked me like and he finds me rare and special. I didn't know guys like him existed. \**We don't talk anymore but still have each other on some social medias\**

He's tall and very handsome, he is nearly identical to Mark Sloan from Grey's Anatomy (i don't make his head big lol) and he's pretty popular locally where I live, I live in a pretty small town. I thought he'd be a cocky/player pretty boy but he's actually quite literally the opposite. I'm not into social media that much like he is which is why he's interested in me, I think. I'm also insecure because of all these girls that throw themselves at him constantly in his comments and irl. We don't talk anymore and it's my fault for being insecure (I didn't tell him about my mental health) and also it's totally my fault for never taking things to the next level aka going out. \**And now, I just moved into this new building with my family and found out he's my next-door neighbor! I suspected that it could've been the same building (from his social media posts) and by the time I found out, (my sisters and mom spied) it was too late! we have already signed the lease and let go of our old place. We couldn't go back, no matter how much I wanted to. I'm so terrified now and my anxiety is even worse now than ever before. I literally don't know what to do because I wanted to take things further prior to this discovery but ON MY OWN TERMS. and now? I'm like ahh he can't see me!\**

I'm scared I'm missing out on a really great guy though and am not living up to my own potential. Literally, the whole reason why we didn't work out was because I didn't want to meet him even though he kept begging and pleading. I really hurt him everytime I said no as he's told me. He once wrote me a long paragraph about how he's hurt two months into us talking saying: "seeing me shouldn't be a hassle seeing as we're neighbors" Now, We're literally NEIGHBORS! talk about speaking this into existence. but the thing is, I never manifested this and Idk what this means:/ This whole situation is bananas. I can't make this ish up! What are the odds of him being my neighbor happening? I don't know what to do and im going insane! Please pretend your little sister asked for advice, what do I do?