Ots the clarity of realizing that everyone cared about your actions but not about you. People are constantly judging you but you qs q person is worthless to most people. They see you as a nuisance.

The reason why people tell you go towards your dreams despite them sometimes not being the nest thing for you is because to them it doesn't matter if you succeed or not. You will always be garbage to them. 

The good thing is I'm getting better and better and better at being alone. My thoughts are not crazy. The thing I have to realize is that I can't  be friends with anyone. The only thing that I can do to be happy personally is be financially okay. If I had no debts qnd lived the same way I think i would be very happy. I think in my life and situation its about acceptance. 

Yeah but I realized I'm a terrible person and being alone for the rest of my life is not that bad of a thing.