Hi, I'm a 25 years old female. Today, I just found out something inside of myself. 
I'm not sure if posting here is right way or not. However, I would like to have some advices about the anxiety that I found out today. I have a friend. She has a boyfriend. She is nice and sweet person but I don't like her boyfriend. He and I has been a friend for a year but I never known that he was arrogant and sometimes put somebody down well. I got hurt from him and I keep holding what he has done to me. I have tried to talk with my friend about that. But it did not work well. So, I am still uncomfortable to meet and see him. However, I do not want my friend and her bf to know about my feeling toward him so I'm trying to hide it to them. Like, for example, I pretended that I love to hang out, see, meet, and talk with him. Like, kind of, sacrificed myself and my feeling. However, I am still having an anxiety that what if they could feel or realize about that. When I looked back all the text messages and the time when I hang out with her, it was pretty obvious that I did not want to hang out with him anymore. But still, I have anxiety that they would realize that. And, I do not know why she keeps texting me and wants to hang out with me even though I would not like to hang out with him and avoided to see him. It is little bit too much to me. What should I do with that? And, sometimes, all the friends became to be annoyed to me. Like I do not want to hang out and text message with them. And, some friends of mine really wants to hang out with me but I do not want to do that because it is annoying to me. It is better if I could be thankful for everyone who likes me and wants to spend time with me right? Also, another problem is I always worry about if people around me leave me. So, I sometimes do whatever they want... what are the something that I have to get over and fix? Help me please.