I think it's possible I've found the love of my life. He treats me the best anyone ever has– but that's the problem. It's completely foreign to me. It scares me and makes me want to run away before I get hurt. I'm constantly caught between wanting to be with him and wanting to run away as fast as I can.

Even though I don't want him to disappear, I've said and done everything in my power to try and push him away. But he won't give up, he says he'll never give up. Why do I push that boundary? Why would someone want to put up with all that I am? When you're a pwbpd, dating is like offering a package deal: "I'm crazy and I'll drive you insane just as hard as I love you, is that okay?" 

Do I deserve this kind of treatment in a relationship? Is it sincere? Is it real? How can I be certain he means what he says? Will I just get duped again? Because my heart is not strong enough to go through more than I have already.

Why can't I just allow someone to love me instead of trying to finding reasons that they don't?