I'm in recovery and I don't have a lot of BPD tendencies anymore so I feel a lot more healthy and wholesome to start a relationship with someone and I don't have the fear of scaring them away with SH or suicidal thoughts or rage or breakdowns, but I thinkkk I just sabotaged this new relationship by getting sexual too soon.
I met him three weeks ago and we've been hanging out a lot. But I think I jumped the gun by making things sexual already and having a type of sex with him. I'm a little paro he may come on this forum for some reason so I'm keeping things vague. But I'm worried now that I jumped the gun, he didn't go there I initiated it and he was even apprehensive, but I did it because...I have no idea. But now I feel weird and bad and like I ruined a pure, nice wholesome blossoming of something real because I did that :/ 

I just have a gut feeling about it. This was turning into such a nice real thing, but now I went and sort of ruined that :/ Any advice? 