Not a good week so far.  Messed up appointment with mental health case manager by being really obstructive and uncommunicative because I didn’t think she was hearing what I was saying. She’s now off with me (or that’s how I perceive her to be). She has decided no more home visits, I’ve got to go to her office - always good for the social anxiety and if my BPD is being awkward I’ll just cancel even though that’s when I need help the most. Only got told this because I rang asking to speak to her re a bad occupational health appointment, wouldn’t have known until I receive the letter she’s sent. 

Duty team didn’t really seem to want to listen when I rang feeling suicidal just went through what I use to distract myself. Why do they not hear me when I say “I’m ringing you because my distraction techniques aren’t working”?

If the people who are meant to help me cannot see that their actions make situations worse, causing me to react how I do, how am I meant to learn to deal with said and similar situations ? 

Feel like I’m constantly fighting to be listened to. Struggling to see the point of anything.