This started happening a couple months ago where I smoking with a female friend of mine. Wasn't new to thc or any weed related product. One thing leads the next and I started thinking that I'm constantly being watched and fucked with. Thinking everyone in said house was   All talking about me. And that there was a group of my other friends outside talking shit about how paranoid I was being. All the while I was thinking I had pissed myself.
(Which is very unlikely due to the fact my female friend let me stay on her couch constantly ensuring me I wasn't  but I still had my doubts)

I brushed it off as a bad trip and took a break but the damage was done. I had now started thinking that my family had it out for me, putting cameras in my room, always spying on me from my attic and my vents. Etc.

This one recent time where I had a stressful day me and my fam took a trip to a restaurant. I decided to stay in the car since I just wanted a break from socializing. So ffw a couple of minutes I found a small blunt in the middle console. Asked if I could smoke it in the car and me mum said yes. So still not at all that baked I went to the restaurant to order some alligator nuggets and then head straight back ( alligator nuggets are the fucking bomb in in Virginia ) again, started thinking I was pissing myself but didn't see or feel shit so I brushed it off as paranoia and since this part of the restaurant where my fam was at had outdoor dining where there was nobody else there I didn't really care even if I was. But right I as a sat at the table the group decided to head inside. My mom, knowing damn well I was high assured me that the place was pretty much empty and we will have a corner table. As I followed the group in I was apparent that both were lies. I asked why my mother lied to me and told me everythings fine and tried to get me to sit down. All while she had the biggest fucking grin on her face I ever seen her pull off, which Is strange because she was also in a bad mood earlier. Major red flags went off in my head telling me to GTFO. ( First went to the bathroom tho and saw that there was no wetness at all )

So while I was sitting in my car I started hallucinating the weirdest shit. ( At least I hope I was ) Shit like my sister constantly running around the car screaming to the passerbys that I was pissing myself and eventually getting on top of the roof to avoid my detection. In my head this would be the exact shit she would do due the fact we both hated the shit out of each other. Idk if I was just bugging in the car, my sis screaming at the top of her lungs were reality, or they smell it but a black lady said to her kids a few meters away to "That's why you should stay away from that green kids"

My sis eventually said something in the lines of " He has no idea that our staff is keeping hundreds of people asking for my autograph at bay" which prompted me to believe I was was some sort of Truman show guy just retarded and too autistic to realize it.

Anyways ffw to today I still feel like there are cameras in my room. Texting this under my blanket but to no avail due to the fact my sister has some sort of spyware on my phone reading out what I text to her friends in a secret compartment in my attic. To add to that I'm also putting my phone on record in my room everytime I go to take a shower Being criticized about everything I do wether it be me cooking, my attempts at fasting, me now vaping. Me loving the absolute shit out of my dog. Everything I do I get criticized for by something in my head in her and her friends whom I never even seen before. Only their voices from her discord chats.

This has caused me to lose my relationships to all my  friends and keep my family at bay, never going outside to not give them "content"  fuck up my grades, and overall made my life a living hell. I just want all this to stop but knowing damn well I will just be diagnosed with schizophrenia which will pretty much ruin my life due to the fact that my whole goal in life was to join the military to help people with no other goal in minds

So I wanted to ask if there were anyway to get ahold of any meds without a diagnosis or prescription? Any advice or recommendations of what I should do would be greatly appreciated

Thank you for reading my ramblings if you got this far