I can't stop replaying this scene in my head, where I have overdosed and hurt myself. There was blood everywhere on the carpet and on the bed, and my "boyfriend" at the time watched me cry and bleed, with his arms crossed and looking down on me. He left the house when my sister suggested he should leave and come back another time. 

I was taken to the hospital and begged for him to come over the phone while I had IV and various equipment stuck on me. He simply said you are not my family anymore. You are not my responsibility anymore and have hung up. 

I know I shouldn't live for other people, but I am very tired. I am tired of people, and their expectations. I am tired of feeling like this, and hoping the next day would be better. I know I am being selfish because there are many people in the world who have it worse than me, but I cannot take it anymore. I'm just tired.