Hello all,

I'm looking for some guidance with a relationship issue I'm having. 

My boyfriend of almost a year has an ex girlfriend that has been relentless in trying to get in contact with him. They broke up years ago and haven't seen one another since Christmas 2014. They spoke in early July and he was able to get some closure from that conversation and made it clear that he was with someone else and not interested in pursuing anything with her. 

She lives out of state, but visits often and is currently here doing so. After failed contact attempts and him blocking her number, she showed up last night as we were being intimate upstairs. He panicked and told her he couldn't do it and that he had company. The interaction lasted under 2 minutes. She then called 2 hours later at 2am and left a 3 minute voicemail saying she needs to see him in person, that she's hurt and needs to end things on a positive note. 

We have had our ups and downs with this issue, but we're currently looking for a place to live together. In the past, I've become very angry and taken that anger out on him. I've become obsessed with this issue and would love some guidance on how to approach it calmly and collectively. He has done everything right and has told me he'd prefer not to give into her ploy for attention and won't call her back. I want to make sure I can show him that I can handly myself and conduct myself well this time around!

Can anybody relate? Any words of wisdom?