Hi, rant! 

I tested positive for Covid-19 this morning for the first time, after avoiding it for years. Me or my loved ones having Covid is pretty much one of my worst fears. My dear grandfather (mom's father, whom I loved very much) died suddenly of Covid about 14 days ago. I came to my grandparents' house to help my mom and grandma with all the work, and caught Covid in about a week. I think it was from an unmasked neighbor whom I interacted with for about 30 seconds (she is sick now as well, and it was the only time I was unmasked these last weeks). I'm so scared of Covid than an n95 is like an extension of my body. My health isn't great, so I'm really worried I might be hospitalized or die, and I'm worried I've given it to my mom and grandma and something terrible might happen to them. I feel so guilty, because I feel like I fucked up their mourning period. I have been panicking so much that my pulse is skyrocketing, which makes me panic even more. Any advice to bring down my pulse rate?

For context, I am 24f with no known health conditions other than PCOS, though I have put on weight the last year. Double vaxxed + boosted. 2nd day of respiratory/fever symptoms. Pretty bad health and death anxiety.