Sorry for my long rant...

I don't even know anymore. I just can't...

I'm not suicidal, but I don't know how and what to do!

I tried everything but either no one seems to care and when I try too much I'm the "bad guy" and I should be "more relaxed"! 

I don't even want validation, I just want to find a stupid job that I won't hate, and I want to be left alone and live without worrying to please others!

I had an argue with my parent and every argue no matter the subject ends with, "if you had a job you wouldn't hate tome to worry about other things" or "you should worry about a job and stop worrying about other things" and those other things are health related!

How can I not think about health, am I suposed to just dive into a shark's mouth just because I need t8 catch a fish? 

Am I suposed to work untill I get sick, because health appearantly doesn't matter?

And no matter what I try, no one calls me back for an interview, and if I ever get one interview in half a year, then they never called back! And I asked and I give my CV, no one calls, even with qualifications!

And this happened way before the pandemic, why is everyone ingnoring, I did my CV on a professional website, and I keep posting them everywhere!

Every time I go physically somewhere, everyone is like "leave the CV here, I'll take it to the manager" and they put it under the desk, I wouldn't be surprised if there were a trash can under there!

I had a theory that they take the email and check my social media, but I don't use social media, and not with that email anyway! Is that why they ignore me, they think I'm a weirdo who can't "socialize"?