I have essential tremors on top and so I always have to calm myself down and act like everything is ok when I’m reality my heart is racing and I don’t know what to do. I want to cry everyday. I feel disabled as ever and feel like I’m going to shut down. I don’t even know anymore. I’m completely lost. I feel alone. Why is life putting this much intensity on me? I hate when my heart races. I just want to sleep forever. No sleep is ever enough. Its always the next day and so on. I feel like I’m dying. Once again I literally feel disabled.