As much as I can to say that I'm okay, I can still keep it to myself. Even if I know that it's okay for me to cry to my bestfriend, boyfriend and family, I fuckin can't, I don't like crying in front of someone. So writing my feelings here really helps me to somehow take off some burden to myself and just take my mind off to the things that I shouldn't be thinking in the times like this. This is not the only problem I have, this not the first time that I wanna do something bad to myself. My love ones don't really pressure me or anything. I'm so hard to myself that I beat myself of overthinking things. But I'm really worried on what might happen in the next following weeks and months. I'm so scared.