I always issues. And now they are catching up with me. My blood pressure is dangerously high most day. I'm dizzy and disoriented. Worst of all I'm tired 24/7. The last one was here for a long time, but it got to the point where I no longer have the energy to do anything, no matter how hard I try to push it. I was passively suicidal for a long time. I didn't have the courage to actually kill myself, but I wouldn't look both ways when I crossed the street. I drank and smoked, did stuff that I knew was dangerous, and now it seems it worked. And now I'm scared. I don't care about myself. But I have man who loves me. I have a 14 month old little brother. And I'm terrified what how they would feel if I died. But my condition is getting worse and I can't bring myself to do anything about it.