Background - my BPD is a lot better now than it used to be, but some things still get me irrationally stressed out. One of these things is...being alone.

I've been in a relationship for a little over 3 years, and living with my partner for about 2.5 of them (rent's expensive here, so we moved in quicker than most people would, to cut costs). in this time i've gotten very, very comfortable with living with them and not sleeping alone---who wouldn't?

well, my partner is going on a road trip with their sisters for the next four days or so, and i'm really happy for them, but i'm getting the sense i'm going to freak out and lose my mind in their absence, even though it's such a trivial length of time and event (it's not like they're going to strip clubs and cheating on me, so my insecurity is not of that nature---it's a  nice, wholesome family trip that i shouldn't stress out about). and it's not like they're going to be gone for a month or anything, just FOUR LITTLE DAYS.

because of this i'm a little embarrassed to ask friends or whatnot for help coping with this, and also, i want to get good at being comfortable by myself and not freaking out that four days away from me will make my partner realize what a giant drag my mental illness is on their life, cause them to rejoice in the absence of my loser-ness, and make them break up with me when they return. even typing that whole imaginary scenario out makes me realize just how dumb and irrational it is but, well, mental illness is dumb and irrational.

anyone got any suggestions? so far i plan to:

- go to the gym every day

- read my DBT handbook (can't afford a therapist as of right now)

- do some home improvement projects (build a new piece of furniture, brew some homemade beer)

- go out to see a friend's concert

anyone got any other ideas for not stewing in paranoia and wanting to die? haha