I’m 16 and work part time at a grocery store. There’s a group of other teenagers who work there, like 8-10 of them that I see different days of the week in cycles of 2-4 at a time. On Friday nights there’s a lot of us scheduled for the evening-closing shift (like 6-8 of us as opposed to like 3 on a Monday or Tuesday). On those fridays it’s usually not too busy so they usually talk w each other, especially after closing when all the customers leaver and we have to clean up. I find that I isolate myself from the group of them. 

To break it down, I find that:
-as per the title of the post: I imagine I’m talking to one of them, or the whole group in my head, I imagine things to talk about like school or hobbies or whatever, but then I snap back and realize I haven’t said a word. When that happens, I think abt it on my way home and I’m like “I did good today I finally made conversation”, but like I didn’t. 
-at times when another one of them is standing at their register and I’m standing at mine when there’s no customers in our lines, we kinda exchange eye contact but I don’t say anything unless they do. And they only say something after an awkward silence, and the thing they say is usually a forced small talk starter
     -to add to this, whenever I see others in the situation where there’s no customers, the immediately go to talking so naturally, but with me and someone else it’s like how I described, awkward and any conversation we have is awkward 


-I don’t say hi or bye unless they do first 

-may be (definitely is) in my head but I feel like some of them converse or talk to me different than the others? That’s probably a stretch

-the managers definitely don’t dislike me, they quite like me but theyve described me as quiet. I know that quiet isnt necessarily a bad thing but it’s always bothered me that  that’s the first thing people would describe me as 

-A LOT of customers have told me: I look like I’m sad, i look like I’m tired, I look “sooooo excited to be here at my job” 
      -I know it doesn’t matter but it annoys me so much sometimes when they say these things.
      -I’ve tried wearing things like pink and glittery eyeshadow, undereye foundation and concealer, cute hair clips and stuff to make myself seem more approachable and friendly but customers still say these things. 

One last thing
-there was a guy who worked there for a couple months, like 2-3(?) he came and went within my now 5.5 months of being there. On his last day he told me he always thought I looked sad and had something going on. He was super nice and the way he said it was really nice so I wasn’t personally offended or annoyed like I normally would be if someone said that to me, but it surprised me. Yeah I have had issues before but I wasn’t especially trying to show it while at work. Beginning to think that he thought that because I wasn’t super talkative like the other teenagers who work there. 


Tldr / ending notes

Tldr: we live in a society and I’m #notlikeothergirls cuz I hashtag don’t know how to socialize and I hashtag lay awake late at night worrying about it 

Ending notes: overall I’m probably fine, yea I have trouble assimilating into convos w peers at work (idk I feel that work is super different from school even tho it’s still with peers) but I’m fine apparently cuz mine of my managers said I can start training to be a customer service clerk whcich is a step up from just being a cashier so ig she thinks I’m good enough at taking to customers