23 woman. I really can't see bright future for myself. The only thing that could bring some light to my life is to have a job in future I wouldn't hate, and that is something related to graphic design. 
I've always been keen in drawing. I've spent many hours on it since I was a child. I only took some drawing/painting lessons when I was 4-7 yo, after that I mostly tried to learn by myself. That is why I've always was drawing mostly portraits and human poses. I focused on things that I enjoyed to draw so in the end I've never learned all the basics like proper perspective or still life. Long story short, I lack some basics and even when I tried to somehow fill those lacking gaps, I couldn't teach myself. It was like hitting the wall. I had no motivation and the only feeling I felt while drawing was frustration. I started to realize that I don't have a talent and the dream of mine is unreachable. Even when I tried to recruit myself on the graphics study at the University, they did not accept me(I have bachelor's degree in business English but I wanted to give myself a chance this year and recruit myself for a major that I actually enjoy). I feel like all the time I've spent on drawing was a waste of time and I don't really have any purpose in life. There are so many talented people in the world that I don't stand a chance with. I don't even feel like trying anymore. 
Some people would say that I should try harder; that if it truly was my dream I would not give up that easyly. But I have my limits. I really can't stay positive anymore and lie to myself. I can't force myself to draw and learn. I feel like throwing up when I try, especially after that university's rejection. I'm just good for nothing. I can't event try to improve myself anymore. I feel like wasted life which did not accomplished and will never accomplish anything. Why not die then?