i am a 23f who recently graduated from college about three weeks ago. this year has been one of the absolute worst years of my life and here’s why:

all my childhood trauma i tried to suppress is coming out. 

at the age of 8 my mother left my family. after that it has been a life full of watching my parents struggle with addictions until they both died. i numbed myself out to survive. i got through high school and college, and now i’m working part time at an assisted living facility with a bachelors degree and living with an amazing boyfriend. 

but i’m still not happy.

i’m sad bc i missed out on so many things as a kid. i’m sad bc i don’t have parents and my brother is far away from me. this is causing me such a depression that i can hardly look for full time jobs, and it’s starting to affect my relationship. who wants to date someone who’s sad, broken, unmotivated? 

i’ve tried medicine and therapy. it helps, hence why i’m still here. but life always just seems bearable. i want to be happy, but i’m realizing that might not be in the cards for me given what i’ve gone through.

please share similar experiences if you feel comfortable. i like reading posts in this page to help me feel better when i’m feeling this way.