dont know why they erased my last post but im going to cut and paste.

I recently realised I was attached to him. He suggested day treatment and I got all scared thinking about how he was leaving me and this was his way of getting rid of me.
Then I had to tell him I didnt trust him because we started talking about my childhood abuse, which is somethign that has never came up. I didn't want to talk about it with him. He suggested a trauma unit. I said I didnt need since it was such a long time ago. I told him I had spoken to other people about it.
This was all said in gasps and very inarticulately. I could barely form words.
Now I think he thinks I"m too screwed up and will ditch me like every one else has because he can't handle my problems. I'm afraid that if I tell him I feel this way about him he'll think I'm too dependent on him or emotionally wrought and again refer me to another psychiatrist.
I also don't want to get attached to him that much because I start getting abandonment fears, anxiety and the feeling like I'm going to die if someone leaves me who is close to me, especially if it's a male.
I never thought I would feel this way. I've never stuck around with therapy this long. I usually quit or get dismissed/or told "you're well" before this point.