I grew up abused and neglected and poor. I never had any role models, I had piece of shit friends who made me feel like shit, had nobody to talk to about issues in my head. So I became a piece of shit and now I have to live with the consequences of my actions and it’s why I hate myself so much. I was so young and I didn’t think about the long term
Consequences because I thought I’ll probably kill myself anyways.

No amount of therapy, change, or forgiveness will eradicate the reality I am a bottomless pit that good people fall into to. I’m currently stockpiling, that is all.