I'm so tired. I just want this to end I can't bring myself to do anything. I can't love myself. I just want someone to help me. I know I shouldn't rely solely on on happiness, but I don't care anymore. I just want to strongly feel something other than sadness. I want to feel that my actions can have meaning in a good way.

 I hate how society expects me to keep going on and acting like everything is fine. I'm not gonna act anymore and keep up facade of happiness.