So my boyfriend of about a year now was diagnosed with BPD a few months into our relationship. Obviously the relationship has up and downs but I do love and care about him and I believe he feels the same way as well. 

Everything actually has still been going well to this day overall. However the primary issue we ever have and I have been having especially recently is trying to talk to him about small issues. For  the most part we have no big issues but there's small ones that I really want to sort out but its tough.

If he brings up an issue first and recognizes hey I did this I am sorry it all goes fine we can totally talk about it. However, even if I try to be really non confrontational in addressing things he does/has done that are difficult/hurtful quite often he gets really  defensive and tries to toss an unrelated issue back in my face and its near impossible to actually get back to the root of the problem. I understand this is quite common with people with BPD but I was hoping some of you with BPD from your perspective could maybe help me out with how to deal with these small issues without it turning into a big one.  

I want to be there for him I want to work a lot of things out. He is honestly super sweet to me most of the time. But its really tough when any criticism even if its just totally constructive leads to a retelling of anything iv done to annoy him in the last 3 weeks instead of any recognition of what I am trying to talk about.

&amp;#x200B;

I apologize for the long winded nature of this question I just wanted to explain the situation.

TL;DR 

Boyfriend gets really defensive over minor relationship issues and I want a better strategy to talk to him about things.