i absolutely caused a shit show in my life because im an idiot and the anxiety of it all is making me feel like i'm fucking dying. My heart is pounding and i can't breathe and i want to vomit every 30 seconds. The way i feel is fucking unbearable and it's all my fault. I'm about to lose the most important thing in my life and i can't do literally anything to save it and this is the most anxious and panicked i've quite possibly ever been. It's like im in the car going 100 and im watching the wall get closer and closer and I cant swerve. i know im going to hit and explode and all i can do is be frozen and afraid and wait for the disaster to start in full force.i want my thoughts to stop and my feelings to stop and my anxiety to stop and i just want everything to stop stop stop