i have type 1 bipolar disorder and have been medicated for a few years. i ran out of my atypical antipsychotic 3 days ago and can’t see the doctor until this evening, meaning i can’t pick them up until tomorrow. i haven’t been sleeping (mind you i also experience psychosis which is exacerbated by poor sleep) and i feel truly awful today. i don’t want to attend class and i don’t want to go to work until i can get back on my meds…i am normally a very driven person…i work hard, i own two businesses outside of my retail job which i’ve been staying on top of, and i’m in college. i feel extremely unmotivated to get anything done…i feel like my body is regressing to who i was before being on meds. i don’t want to miss work today because they have been talking about promoting me soon, but i’m so anxious about feeling strange while having to talk to customers. no one at work knows i have bipolar (nor do i want them to know), and i don’t know how to explain to them why i feel like i can’t come in today. my body is telling me to rest but my mind is saying otherwise…it feels like a lot of pressure. 

(side note, i was in a bad car accident 3 weeks ago and have been experiencing some PTSD symptoms ((i have been diagnosed)). this doesn’t help with the sleep and motivation issues.)

i guess the point of this post is to find reassurance that my life won’t crumble if i take a day off. thanks for reading this ramble.