Here goes nothing...

So, I was diagnosed with BPD 7 months ago after seeing my new doctor for a few months. I was diagnosed with depression at 18, then bipolar II at 19, bipolar I around 6 months later, and now BPD at 29. I've told 4 people so far about the diagnosis change. I must say though, the quiet subtype fits like a glove. Over the years I've committed to what I eventually named the 'Keep it to yourself method.' I regularly go on rumination sprees about something that starts out as a snowflake, then it routinely festers into a desolate nuclear wasteland where I'm standing emotionally battered and bruised, all alone, just me and the problems in my head. Then I mentally tell myself "It's the kind of thing YOU keep to yourself.” And then it dies down until the next flare up. I don’t tell my friends; I don’t tell my family. I’ve hammered the mantra into me thousands and thousands of times all while keeping a straight face. No matter what anyone has ever told me, I know I did this to myself, and that’s exactly who I put the blame on.

I apologize if this sounds like some idiotic rant. I just had to get it off my chest.