I’ve recently been struggling a lot more, bad thoughts, destructive behaviours you name it. Last night i SH for the first time in awhile and today as I went to change the bandage I saw they werent as “bad” as I thought they were. I wanted bad scars, the ones that stay with you forever. I find myself wanting the arms full of scars some people have, to prove myself? To feel valid? Who knows. But after I saw them, I had the urge to do it again. But do it “right” this time. I’ve had an okay day. I’m not sad, I’m not suicidal but still I can’t help but sit here wanting to do it. What is this about? How do you curb a craving like this if I’m not even in crisis mode. Why does this even happen.