I'm turning 24-years-old this December and I don't even have a license, let alone a permit. I haven't had a job in over two years and quit do to blatant racism. I honestly want to die but lack the courage to shoot myself, which is especially funny because I'm an atheist. Metaphorically speaking, I have this angel and demon on my shoulders. I mainly want to die because I'm too depressed to do anything but at the same time I just want to be happy so that I can live. I know many of you know what I mean by this. Getting blackout drunk and taking Klonopin is the only thing making this bearable for me.