(I'm on mobile so please forgive any errors.)

Over the past few months I got in touch with an old friend who has bpd. We went to middle school and he essentially dropped off the face of the planet once we started high school. Through a mutual friend we got back in touch though. He has trans experience so he wasn't the same when we were originally friends. We met up once and it went okay but we didn't talk for awhile mostly because I am awful at replying. Skip a few months and he invites me to a party thing with him and his younger sisters friends. It goes well and eventually we both start playing Overwatch at night because we both liked the game. We went through about two hundred exp levels together and we started hanging out more and more. He lives about five minutes away from me so it's very convenient. Eventually he came clean about having BPD and I tried to be understanding. I'm 20 and I almost majored in psychology so I wasn't unfamiliar with the term. I spent more time around him and his family and eventually got very comfortable with them. His brother is a dick about him being trans and gay and his Dad I don't know well but his mother and sister/sister's best friend I adore. The mutual friend we had he cut off saying she was emotionally abusive and with knowing how cut throat she could be I assumed some of the things she said and did probably upset him a few too many times. But with him cutting her off the whole family did as well. I seem to be the only irl friend he has near by and he told my girlfriend I am his FP. I have Major Depressive Disorder and I've struggled with it most my life. This isn't about me but I grew up with a physically and emotionally abusive single mother so I went through a dark time with self harm and eventually landing myself into a psychiatric ward as a freshman in high school. My arm is riddled with the scars to this day. He seemed to relate to me and I wanted to be someone he could talk to. But lately he has been getting excessive and I'm starting to struggle. I try to be empathetic, I really do. But my mother learned all her abusive traits from my grandparents and so my Aunt's and my Uncle so my whole family are all kinda messed up. So to see his mother say she is concerned about him cutting and his response is telling her to fuck off is unsettling. She asked if he would at least tell his therapist and he told her to suck his dick. He tells me how much he hates his family but he literally does nothing. He doesn't work, go to school or anything. He wakes up past three and plays video games all night and that's all he does. His family paid for top surgery, pays for his food, pays for his hormones. I'd kill to have a family as loving as his and he doesn't seem even grateful. He gets upset because I like his mother. I know I don't live with her and she gets kinda snippy when she is drunk and she drinks a lot. But she seems to just voice her opinion on how ungrateful he is when drunk and then he reacts badly. He says he knows he is more privileged then most but I'm starting to really doubt that he understands by how much. I'm non-binary but I was born a female, I have a girlfriend and our year anniversary is in about two weeks. I'm very awful with commitment she is the first girl I've dated in about three or four years because of it. He doesn't like her, he was cool with her for awhile but we are getting to the point where he seems annoyed if I'm in an arms length of her and if I hold her hand. We live in the South and both grew up in Christian households. I go to college and I have a job, well in the past two weeks my girlfriend's parents cut her off and kicked her out so she is staying with me. He is annoyed by the fact I can't play videogames with him till late at night anymore but I have school and I'm working twenty five plus hours to support myself and my girlfriend. He blames her for how little we have been playing and for me going to bed earlier but I'm normally just tired because I work till closing. He hasn't told me directly but he told my girlfriend I'm his favorite person. One night I didn't reply very much because it was a night I had off in awhile and he ended up cutting and the next morning I had to spend two hours trying to convince him not to kill himself. Then he guilted me into hinting that it was because I had been with my girlfriend and not replying. He makes a point to flash me his cuts but I never say anything because if I do I feel like I might just reinforce him into thinking that him cutting will get my attention. I don't know what to do. My girlfriend is starting to not like him for how he guilts me and how much he brings up self harm around me. I try very hard to stay clear of things like that considering it can be a temptation to me because of my past. The few times I've even tried telling him this he loses it and so I just don't say anything. But he is becoming more dependent the longer this goes on. He has started showing up to my work when I work and gets annoyed that I can't talk but I am well, working, so I can't really talk because I'm busy. I don't think I'm mentally strong enough to handle this if it keeps up though. He makes me feel like an asshole for liking his family and I struggle to empathize because he gets to do nothing with his life because of this but doesn't seem grateful. My mom kicked me out as soon as possible and never looked back so I just don't understand. Maybe I am a bad person. But I figured I'd at least try to get some other people's, especially those with bpd, opinions on the matter. Given my commitment issues I don't really want all this weight of being his FP on my shoulders. It scares me, and I don't think I'm mentally strong enough for the both of us considering I'm still in therapy and on medication myself. Any sort of advice is welcome and very appreciated.