Hi all. Fairy new to this sub-Reddit but if you look at my post history you can see mental health has been mentioned in my previous posts in other subs. 

While I do not have a formal diagnosis of Bipolar, I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 18. ADHD in my late 20’s. I have been prescribed bipolar meds - mainly Seroquel - twice in my life. Both times I gained an ungodly amount of weight and the self esteem issues went rampant. I became an alcoholic @ 33 and remained that way until I was put on Anabuse 2 years ago. Proud to say I haven’t had a drink - but the alcohol was masking my mental health challenges. I am 41 now. I can’t take ADHD meds because I abused them at one point and had a grand mal seizure at Walmart from an OD. That was shortly after I got the ADHD diagnosis. I was taking it to lose weight - not to get better. I will do the same thing if prescribed them again. I am an addict. 

I know I need a diagnosis to be medicated properly. I currently take Antabuse 500 mg, lexapro 20 mg&amp; abilify 10 mg. I can tell when I DONT take my meds. But I don’t feel like they do much.

My husband dismisses my suspicions of bipolar. But he only knows what I tell him. He doesn’t live in my anxious mind. Or see when I behave in a hypomanic way - especially when it comes to other men and seeking outside validation and attention. I will do and say things to men (2 in particular) and probably make them uncomfortable. I don’t consider myself an ugly person - but this last hypo episode (If what I am experiencing is mania) had me behaving in the most outrageous and UGLY ways. And then the next day, I could care less about them. Then I will start to stress if they don’t give me the attention I want! I literally took my cardigan off at WORK for no reason with a skimpy tank top underneath and strutted my stuff at WORK for attention from one. I’m so embarrassed now I almost feel like I should apologize. 

I guess my question is for the ladies. Is this a symptom of bipolar that you may experience? Until I can get a new psych - I don’t know where else to ask this type of sensitive question.