I have been dealing with this and panic disorder along with depression of course for over 10 years now and i am constantly told i am not trying enough or to just calm down and im being over emotional. today i did my best to stay in bed all day and avoid my parents i live with (30 years old...) so that i would not ruin any ones day with my own problems...then i go downstairs once and i blow up on my mother over something trivial. I then split a crisis all day ending with the hotline that i called (who asked me several times if i had suicidal thoughts and i said no) decided to send cops to my house and then me being aggressive with them also. i am lucky i did not end up locked up anywhere (again) but i feel like such a piece of shit and all of my actions today justified that feeling. i called me mother the worst names. my throat hurts from yelling at anyone and everyone today. i just kept crying and yelling and saying the worst shit. I used my mothers dead brother against her while yelling out. i feel like i have no future at all with this condition no matter how often i see the doctors and take different medicines. thank you to anyone who actually reads this...and sorry ahead of time if there are any typing mistakes.