They described it to me and why they think I have it and it does sound pretty fitting. But I’m not sure. I don’t even fully understand BPD, they said something like the constant depression/anxiety i have “isn’t normal,” it can explain a bunch of disassociation, it explains my lack of control of my emotions/anger and everything, and there’s so many feelings and thoughts and actions and behaviors I just can’t put into words and everything is confusing and I hate myself and I can’t tell my thoughts apart nothing makes sense and I’m scared 

I’m sorry, I’m rambling, I’m just freaking out at this (possible) new diagnosis after I’ve already gone through so fucking much and had so many treatments and they want me to go to IOP which fucks up so...so...so many things and I don’t know what to do. 

They told me to do research and tell them what I think. I just don’t know where to start I don’t know anything. I don’t know if you guys can help but I’m lost. Thanks guys.