Okay so early on in my long distance relationship, when my girlfriend and I had just become exclusive, I got blind drunk and had a one night stand with a girl I had met a while ago. I told my girlfriend straight away the next day because I was really upset I had betrayed her and hurt her and wanted to do everything I can to become a good partner for her and rebuild trust. Since then, I've been in therapy, I've been doing everything I can to understand why I self-sabotaged a healthy and good relationship like that. This is what has led me to BPD and an understanding of my mental health issues and a determination to work through them. 

I love my girlfriend more than anything. She is so kind, so patient and so loving and I see her as my forever life partner. She has taken the time to understand me and has been there for me and loved me like I have never been loved before. I've been working so hard to become the best version of myself. I want to be the best partner I can. 

However, my phone is broken at the moment and I can only see half of my screen, meaning navigating almost any app right now is near to impossible. What happened last night or this morning (I don't actually know when it happened) was that somehow I have accidentally started following that girl I had the one night stand with. I haven't been on her profile or checking anything of hers out and I had cut all communication with her immediately after the first incident happened. I've really been trying to rebuild trust with my girlfriend but my girlfriend saw I started following her and of course, that was massively triggering for her. She brought it up and obviously straight away thought I was being shady. I honestly didn't even know I had done it and was following her. I immediately unfollowed her and blocked her on insta. 

I've been pleading with my girlfriend to believe me now, because I genuinely haven't done anything wrong this time. And I know how much that would hurt her. I would never do that to fuck up our relationship like that. I'm desperate for her to believe me. And I'm panicking so much because it looks so bad and let's be honest, who would believe me right now. I don't know what to do. I'm being honest. I am so faithful and committed to my girlfriend now and now it all looks like it's turning to shit. I would never fucking betray my girlfriend... I need help! What can I do to show her I didn't do that????????? I can't lose her over something I didn't even do!!!!!