I am 27, I was in a long distance relationship for a year and I of course kept being anxious about abandonment but I knew he was eventually going to move to be with me. anyway the week he moved to my city I found out I was pregnant. I thought I'd either have an abortion and wait until marriage to have kids (no need to put stress on the relationship) OR get married and finally have my happily ever after. anyway that same week my boyfriend's mother unexpectedly passed away and he told me he doesn't want to see anyone and he cut me out of his life. the day before she died we were talking about how happy we were to finally be together. so anyway I had the abortion. and I am so much in the depths of despair, I'm feeling suicidal. I've tried therapy for the past twenty years and nothing has helped calm me down and this was just the last straw, i don't know how to pick myself up after this. How come other people accept a break up and move on from their lives? Why do I have to become suicidal I don't understand why I was given mental illness, I'm exhausted of these highs and lows but mostly lows