Ive always had problems managing my depression and anxiety but the past couple weeks its like its been dialed up to 11. Its gotten so bad that my friends have walked away from me because Im (understandably) too much for them. My family is no help either they just think im being dramatic, overthinking, and overreacting. 

I tried to go on a date last weekend to distract myself and be around someone for a little bit and it went horribly because i was so anxious and nervous that she immediately picked up on it and asked me to bring her home early. Obviously my issues werent with her so i did what she asked and she actually sat and talked to me for a little bit before going inside but i havent heard from her since. 

The thing that is affecting me the most is the crippling loneliness i feel. In my own home i feel like a stranger and there is nowhere i can go where i feel like anything more than background noise. Im 25 years old and im expected to just deal with this for 50 more years?

Ive tried therapy, prescribed medication, weed, alcohol, nothing helps for longer than a few hours. I just want to end it but i cant bring myself to actually do it. I dont have a plan yet but if im honest i am planning. I dont know what else to do, i dont want to spend the rest of my life feeling like this. Can somebody please help me.