Hey everyone. I just needed a place to vent where I know others will understand where I'm coming from. 

Just recently got dumped by my boyfriend of one year due to my BPD symptoms getting out of control. Whenever I felt like I was being rejected by him I would go back and forth between pushing him away and begging him to stay. This last time was the final straw for him. 

Now I'm feeling incredibly empty and alone. I tend to be a serial monogamous due to constantly trying to fill the void. I'm trying my hardest not to go looking for someone to fill it. I really want to work on taking care of myself, but this emptiness makes me feel like I want to die.

I was recently diagnosed with BPD and just started treatment. I hope it help because I can't keep living like this anymore.