I'm M/17 and I started college last September. 
I've got my interim report and it isn't really good. There are 13 subjects. Only in 4 subs I had good marks (A- to B-). All the others go from C to D-

An important subject called IT is involved in this mess too. I've got a D- there. My parents have seen this all. They are worried and desperated. I don't want them to be desperated or worried. I feel guilt. I've put so much effort in this semester and it went quite down nevertheless. The stress and all keeps pulling me down. Everytime when I have stress, my nose starts to bleed. I'm afraid this is a symptom of a serious disease. I'm afraid to see a doctor, because I'm always scared of doctor visits. Mostly because of my phobia, the fear of needles. I'm afraid to get my blood drawn or to get a vaccination. ( I got my first covid vaccine, but I had to overcome my fear which gave me a lot of anxiety and panic.) 

Back to school stuff:

I get always excluded from class. Nobody wants to talk to me, show appreciation when I help, even when I have to do my stuff. They make fun of me in group chats and Co way more often. 
I'm always the last choice when they are selecting teams.
I'm afraid to have a meal in front of my class mates, so I search a corner to relax and eat, because they made fun of the food I eat months ago (in College) (Random sandwiches, if somebody wants to know). 

The next things which keep me questioning for my existence are phobias. 

I have got the...

Fear of dogs (There were times were I nearly got bitten by pitbulls)
Fear of needles (childhood trauma)
Fear of getting ridiculed
Fear of doctor visits (Fear of needles: 'Blood drawals or vaccinations') -&gt; Trypanophobia

Fear of Spiders (insects generally)

Fear of illness
Fear of accidents
Fear of mistakes
Fear of planes (flights)
Fear of being stared at
Fear of sleep (Because of sleep paralysis and shocking paranormal nightmares)
Sedatephobia
Phonophobia


I'm not diagnosed with depression, because I'm afraid to talk with a doctor about this all. I don't want my nose bleeding there. They will do test my blood pressure and get a blood drawals, where I could fall in panic.

I am afraid to talk with a family member about this, because they would be worried about me and I would feel a high degree of guilt, what I don't want, so I shared more information about me than my parents know, because I think here on this sub, there are people who are going through tough times too and could build a connection with me. 

I would never wish somebody else a life like mine. If you want to know how it feels: It hurts to be alive, it hurts to keep fighting, it hurts to keep facing new problems, it really hurts to meet new fates.

I'd appreciate your help. Thanks.
Much luv ♡