Im 19. I promised myself that I would to see if I improved over time, but since nothing has changed and they have only become worse, I am at a loss as to how to go. I'll hang myself later on tonight. I've discussed it in writing, with my family, in therapy, and in other ways. As I could see from it, everyone hasn't done much to help and doesn't really care they're just ignoring or blaming. Just plain exhausted. Because I'm so lonely and only exist as a living being for my own sake, I can't bring myself to look at myself and feel useful. My loneliness has no end and is consuming me. Nothing in this world, in my opinion, is suitable for me. Maybe it's not true, but it doesn't seem like I have anything planned for the future but an unhappy, lonely life right now. This time, I genuinely don't want to live; it would be better for me to pass away. 

I periodically observe everyone living their lives and being happy. I hate who I am and don't want to ever live again. Thank you to whoever reads this and leaves a remark for being a part of my life. I've had enough of being completely alone. When I do get the chance to speak to someone, I rarely manage to utter entire words.  Nor even trying to talk to a female. 

stuttering. the event I do try to talk to someone I’munsure of what to say, and anxious. When I have anything on my mind, I find it difficult to express it. Who on earth would have the patience to listen to me out? How on earth could I possibly talk to someone and keep a conversation going? I find it difficult to talk to them. I'm not worth anyone's attention, either.