While I’m in no way having suicidal thoughts, I’m just in so much pain constantly. I just don’t think I could survive a full lifetime before I just can’t take it anymore. Yes I have therapy, I’m on antidepressants and the works.  It’s just too much, even getting day to day is hard, but over 5x my current age, I just couldn’t make it. My depression is genetic, and while I know I would eventually want a family of my own, I wouldn’t want anyone else to suffer like me.