I feel guilty and stupid. I just got out of a terrible depressive episode due to being off my medications. He kept saying I could learn to be off of them just like his brother with Bipolar can live a healthy life without them. I can’t, okay? I need medications to live a healthy life. I know he just wants the best for me and doesn’t want me dependent on medications, but I know I need them. Now, coming out of this episode, I feel so damn stupid for going off of them. But it showed my boyfriend all of my symptoms of BPD that were being treated by my meds. I’m so guilty because I quite literally ruined my own life. I lost another job so I’m unemployed yet again. 
I don’t know if this is venting or what this is. I’m just hoping to get back on my meds Monday when I see my doctor and hopefully back on the right track. 