I just can't mentally move forward. I try to do the work to move my life forward but I don't feel well.

I struggle with every thought that reminds me of awful choices I've made and humiliating moments. I can't move past high school, that's when everything started going downhill.

I don't know how to find a job i would be okay doing, I'm not qualified for much and I failed to get a worthwhile education. I struggle to lose weight, I don't have any friends, I don't have a family who support me, and I've had a lot of very negative experiences with many people and things.

I feel that my life is ruined because I had a bad start, and I never really had the will to live anyway. I don't like or accept myself, and I'm ashamed of who I have become because I have failed. 

Today is a sunny day and I feel really down. I forced myself outside but I've been sat on my couch every day for the past two weeks after work because I can't get myself to do anything. I'm haunted by my past and I don't know if I will ever recover.