I find it hard to look at what I've become - I'm a shell of my former self. I used to be smart, fit, social - now I've become a complete couch potato. I used to work out most days, I'd read, practise puzzles and work. Now I find it hard to care about anything - it's like fuck it. eating makes me happy. Before this whole pandemic and even at the start I was a different person. I was someone that some people envied, now I don't even have friends anymore. I went from going out partying every week end, to being alone this New Years eve.   


I look at my old self and think, how was I like that? My brain doesn't function like it used to. I wish I could transport to my old body  


I'm sad about what I've become, but I just don't have the energy to really change it.