When I was writing the email I found it hard to stay in the moment and I kept changing parts of it. I found it hard not to alter my personality a bit when I was writing it.
I felt all clingy right away that need to alter myself.

It's hard because I keep telling myself and I know I'm not ready for a relationship.
I want to work this BPD stuff for at least a year and get to a point where I love myself and can accept myself.
But yet, my personality still changes?? wtf