TW: suicidal thoughts 


DAE feel like no matter how hard you try you’ll always be a failure?? I feel doomed to hate my life every day. And that I will never move up in the world. I will never find friends that love me. I will never be able to have a good romantic relationship. I am moving out to CO with my friend and I am spending a week here to get a feel for things and it’s miserable and I don’t know if I’ll be able to do this. I feel like I should just k*ll myself bc no matter what I do I will always be too much or too little for people. I don’t have any really close friends that are willing to live with me besides this one person and I’m stuck in a really shitty home situation and I feel like I’ll never recover from my bpd. I was literally completely fine before I left and got on a plane to Colorado and now everything just feels too hard yet again. I have lost all motivation to keep going and the world fucking sucks. My family sucks and I have no support and I feel isolated and that I will never know true happiness or kindness or support. It’s all so intense and I’m thinking that when I get back home I should just give up on everything and say fuck it and stop trying all together. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know where to go. It seems like everyone I meet is toxic as hell and I can’t seem to find anyone with similar interests and life goals. I just want to die. I don’t wanna go to therapy anymore. I don’t wanna do it anymore. Life isn’t worth it and I’m a failure at everything I attempt to do