Hello, [F,22] the past year I’ve been struggling so much with my self confidence when it comes to dating. I had a lot of things going on with school etc. that I mainly focused on that. Sure I felt sad that I didn’t even held hands with a guy or anything. But after I finally went to university and my bestie started saying to me that after her breakup with her toxic bf she started hooking up and had sex for the first time and felt more confident etc. Even tho the guys she go with want her mainly for her body I can’t stop but feel soo depressed that I can’t find anyone or that my mental health keeps me back from dating. Whenever someone asks me out I say no bc I’m scared. Anxiety symptoms are so bad Id rather bot experience them (I’m on medications). Even my psychiatrist said to me its not time for you to date yet and shes absolutely right. But I just can’t seem to convince myself that I’m not ready. I’ve been diagnosed with depression also various anxiety disorders and I even suspect cyclothymia. Every time someone asks me out I can’t help but start crying and shit and being so harsh on myself and my depression hits hard again. And for some reason guys in my country are either non monogamous or gay. I try not to care about dating or love but I can’t because I realised it’s something important to me. This compulsive feeling makes me so difficult to live normally. People don’t seem to understand me and call this dumb, I know it’s dumb but can’t help it. And please don’t say if you don’t try you won’t know. And don’t be a dick in the comments please it’s really hard for me to deal with.

PS: don’t suggest dating apps everyone there sucks. 
Also people adviced me to just talk to people online to learn how the world works through a safe distance.