my fp didnt text me all day yesterday so i ignored him all day today because i have big brain energy and now he texted me saying that he doesn’t care anymore and on the inside my brain is only slightly panicking and wondering if he’s actually being serious and is going to try and cut me off again but on the outside im like. cha cha real smooth no big deal

idk why but i just hate him so bad today ? like i genuinely hate him and anytime i even so much as see his name i wanna freak the fuck out and idk why lol like i feel like i care so little that i could just text him back and be like « lol bye 👋 » and i cant explain to people that when im feeling this way i have literally no regard for other people’s feelings and often just purposely try to upset them so obviously its in everybody’s best interests if i just isolate myself. 

but in this case its like i care but i also dont. it’s just my impulsive asshole nature to stretch peoples leashes as far as i can get them to test their boundaries before reeling them back in i guess lol this is why everyone leaves me