 So I was recently diagnosed with bpd about two months ago. I had been diagnosed with Bipolar first but now I'm not even sure about that even though I do get hypomanic. Whatever. 
 Anyways it's been a hard few months my parents are getting divorced and I still live with them as I am not yet twenty and just starting to get on my feet. For myself things are good, I graduated and got my CNA and am getting my license soon.
 Emotionally however, it is a different story. I am angry all the time and, I split on everyone even those who don't deserve it obviously. Then I am depressed and I haven't cried in months.
 The self harm thoughts are coming back and I acted upon one but I was able to stop myself before making it worse. Suicidal ideation is not really a problem although I do think thigs would be easier. I don't not want to die though and even if I did I will never put my loving boyfriend who has his own issues through it. 
 I haven't been to the hospital since October 2015 and it had been my first time in the adult ward.
 And let me tell you THAT experience my friends was scary. It wasn't that I had never been to a psych ward, I fact it was my fifth time /:, I just am scared of the whole idea of being with adults when I don't exactly feel like one.
 In the kddle of all of this my new psychologist kicked me off her case because I missed two appointments since my mom has been injured and I've been taking care of her.
 I just don't know what to do and how long I will last. My boyfriend understands that of I need to go I need to but I hate putting.Him through it since we both have dependency issues.
 I just think I am going to snap and this is how it starts. I'm scared I'm going to fuck everything up that I've got going for myself. Please I need.advice
 Sorry for all the run offs and shit lol.