I’ll be turning 50 this year and I still struggle every day with feeling depressed and suicidal. Some days it’s just a low hum in the background. Other days it’s so loud it completely consumes me. I’ve been in treatment more than half my life and the story is always the same. I’m so tired of fighting this fight. It makes everything seem so heavy. I try and take time for myself but there’s always so much to do and so many other things that need my attention. You’d think I’d have learned to cope better by now, but I don’t think it ever gets any easier.