(My self-reflection thread.)

I’ve been in support group many years now and have many friends. But I’ve never really been attracted to any guy there. But my support group director introduced me to a few who he probably believes to be decent guys to befriend. One is in his 40s, bipolar, works with prison inmates. After I friended him on Facebook, I realized he has a “bad boy” side so I started avoiding him though he seems cool. He broke up with this girl he really likes and seems to want to be her soulmate… from their Facebook posts, I feel like he must’ve done something wrong. I don’t think she dumped him because he was poor, but I don’t know for certain. Another guy is a low functioning guy also in his 40s. Tbh, he is not attractive at all and I feel like he stalks me because he thinks I’m pretty. I don’t think you get a gf by praying to God or something. I care about them, but I’m sort of notoriously bad at dating. I dated two guys in the past, both of whom I didn’t feel strongly for. And I can be kind of nasty/very insensitive, get mad when they don’t shower, etc. Then one day I meet a guy online who is young and smart and when I kissed him I couldn’t stop thinking about him. He broke up with me and I’ve resigned to look for love no more. I don’t want to date either guys I mentioned above but maybe this is their identity. They want to see themselves as guys who have meaningful connections with a girl. Of course they often all go after the same young/pretty ones who might be troubled, never some nice but homely person. My dad is retiring soon and he plans to take my mom to become expats in Southeast Asia and leave me to care for everything. I wonder if I will just be alone with the dogs. Anyways, I hope I can make some new friends. I feel like weaker males lead tough lives with very little sympathy. Maybe the low functioning guy has a big heart.