My triggers are extensive: self harm and suicide are just 2 examples and they aren’t even that bad cuz I often want to do those. My worst trigger is romance: nothing makes me want to pull the trigger more than when someone talks about their SO. It is almost always someone who rejected me too who talks about someone better. There is no such thing as romance to me, it is only something I can see other people do. They say to put yourself out there but I do and nothing happens. I have been rejected so many times, I’ve talked to so many people, I’ve fallen in love so many times. Nothing has happened, nothing. I am lied to, if I really was a nice person, attractive, or fun: then why am I unloved and never enough for anyone? I can’t watch any single act of romance without the urge to stab myself. Idk what to do abt this trigger, I’ve tried to be content but that just makes me feel worse. I should be content but I’m not. I’ve asked out many people, only rejections. There is nowhere to find love and it is impossible to avoid. Nothing has proved that wrong to me, and nothing will. I post here with the false hope of finding a solution. I can’t bear it anymore.