I am a weak little shit, and my whole life has been a mess. I don’t even remember having any good memories. Not saying that I haven’t had any but It feels like I can’t remember anything even if I try.

Like where is my mind? I wake up in the morning and time passes by so quickly that it is already night when I realize that I have wasted another day. Sometimes I get motivation to change things around but get discouraged within no time. Most of the time I feel alright but suddenly feel like ending my own life. 

I am also baffled by the fact that no one in my family notices how fucked up I am mentally. Like look at me, I don’t do anything. I sleep the whole day and struggle waking up, I can’t concentrate and I feel extremely stupid where I am fucking up school. Aren’t you guys the ones who saw me grow up? Didn’t I used to be a happy kid with a smile constantly on his face. Don’t you notice a change, a change where you don’t see me smile a single time.

I am a fucking mistake, I have no control over my emotions and right now I want to kill myself, but this whole process will repeat itself.