I just can’t ever do anything anymore without feeling like shit and contemplating suicide. I go to school for an hour and I get paranoid that everyone hates me and are talking about me and mocking me, so I go home. At home I see all these people doing stuff without me, which makes me believe they all hate me. I get into this pattern constantly and I can’t break it. And now I’m losing all my “friends” and I don’t know what to do. I’m becoming better friends with this one group but I’m scared of being a burden and forcing myself in because I feel like they all just put up with me and don’t actually like me. I just wish I could have a normal functioning fucking brain and not see my death as the only way out when I hear someone laughing behind me or when someone ignores me