I really struggle with who i am and this constant feeling of emptiness and loneliness. Im constantly contradicting myself, manipulative, envious, and jealous of the people in my life. I feel like a nobody so it just hurts seeing other people live their life and find love. Im basically a shell of my former self and dont see anything i do as valuable or attractive so i just get so insecure whenever i see people i would like dating other people. For years ive lived my life around other people and based on what they like and want but my therapist pointed out to me that it hasnt worked all this time so why am i still doing it? But i dont know how else to be i dont know how to relax and have fun i dont know how to just be myself and not force things. It feels like i cant do anything right not even the basic things like being myself. I just want to be happy but I don’t know how.