So, the title may seem a bit weird, I know, but I didn't know how else to put it. See, this I something I struggle with a lot and it affects the people around me too, but I don't really know why I do this.

I live in a assisted living facility, we all have our own room and bathroom and a shared kitchen. In general this is exactly what I need to help me get through my days. There is staff here 24/7 if I feel like I need it, but if I want to isolate myself of a while I can do this too. Well, most of the time.

Thing is, every few days or so, a staff member will knock on my door and before I can get to it to open it or tell them to leave(or ignore them all together), they will use their master key and just enter without my permission. (technically they're not allowed to do this, but being a client there's not a whole lot I can do about this.)

And I don't know why, because I've got nothing to hide, it's not that I absolutely don't want then in my room, but when they do this, a switch flips. I go from 0 to asshole in 0.3 seconds. You guys will probably know what I mean by that. I loose control completely and all I am then is a huge ball of hatred.

This reaction may be extreme, but still somewhat justifiable, it's still a breach of my privacy. My equal problem is that I have this with everyone. For example, my girlfriend has a key and if she does this, my reaction is exactly the same. (don't worry, we've talked about this and worked something out together) And I can't find any decent reason why I keep doing this. It's kinda breaking me up. I mean, all I want is for her to come over, but at first when this happened I got so angry I made her cry and really scared. That isn't me, but somehow I can't seem to get any control over my reactions.

 Blegh, I guess... 