I hate my BPD. Sometimes I feel it has completely destroyed my life, and it is hard. Hard for family members and partners to understand the depth and suffering it brings. For over a decade I have tried med combination after another. My Doctor got so tired of me he just ended up drugging me with vast amounts of benzoes. 4mg of xanax a day and 6mg of klonopin a day. And I was on them for over a decade, and xanax is one of the worst things you can give someone who has BPD. I got caught up in the justice system, ended up on probation. The justice system does not bring justice. Those with money and knowledge and experience are the ones who win, while the ingenuous, the innocent suffer and go to jail. I'm floundering. I feel lost and alone. I'm  facing two court trials right now, and jail time looks like a real possibility. I have tapered down to 1mg of klonopin a day and have stopped the xanax all together but the withdrawals have been and are hell, top that off with my day to day symptoms of my disorder. I feel so alone. Please give advice. Please help. 