I (m38) have been dealing with depression, anxiety, personality disorder and self harm, since I was in my early 20’s. I am on 6 different meds, and eventough they make my down periods less affective, they haven’t really fix anything. When i was younger I used to cut myself to get by, but I haven’t done that in 10 years. Now my brain has found a way to make everything worse. 

Lately I have been dealing with digital self harm. In short, when I’m having a bad periode, I look online for things that make it worse. This simply pours gasoline onto the dumpster fire that is my head, and in addition to being depressed, I get into a state of fear/panic that I just can’t shake. Has anybody done this and perhaps have some ideas as to how to get rid of it?

TLDR: I use the internet to make my down periodes worse. Does anybody know how to doing so?