My life is in shambles right now. I have maybe two good friends, family lives 4000 miles away, s/o is becoming more distant, my job crushes my mental health every day, I can feel myself slipping. The only thing that keeps me going is trucks, I own a handful and work on them, flip them, just drive them around, whatever. That is the only thing keeping me alive. I've lost interest in any other hobbies I've had. I've given up trying to make more friends since I've only gotten hurt or betrayed in some way a solid 85% of the time. I'm also currently being stalked and there's not a damn thing to do about it. I have a handful of tattoos, I've stopped even caring that much about what they are as long as it hurts. I know I need help but nothing I've tried: medication, therapy, stint in the hospital after an attempt, moved in with one friend shortly after that attempt; nothing works. I've come to terms that it's only a matter of time and I desperately want to do something with my life and make something of myself but I don't know if I even have the ability anymore. I don't expect any kind of replies from this I just need to tell somebody and I can't tell anybody that I know, they have a bad track record of making it public knowledge and/or attempting to ruin my life with that information.