I have a wonderful boyfriend of almost 10 months, but lately I feel as if I can never be good enough. He says I make everything a joke which isn’t true, we have deep emotional conversations all the time. I was heavily abused as a child so I don’t know how to tell people I love them or care about them without cracking a joke, but I can ALWAYS be there when someone needs me.This past year my depression has gotten a lot worse, with a suicide attempt and a trip to the mental hospital. I really want to self harm the past few days, ever since then it’s as if my boyfriend doesn’t care about me anymore, like everyone else on this planet. I’m starting to hurt a lot and I don’t know how to tell anyone, let alone him, who’s opinion matters most to me. I feel as if nobody can notice me struggling, not even my roommate who sees me everyday crying in my bed.