I have major anxiety and attachment issues. I panic due to hyper vigilance. It is overbearing and down right ridiculous. It boils down to wanting control. Wanting control and not getting it turns into anger. 

I have been trying to video chat with someone for the last 2 days. Yesterday, I rescheduled due to having a panic attack due to something else. The person would never give me a set time to video chat, which made me lose control and order. I didn't try and be more aggressive on the time out of fear of them being offended. I played it cool and they said they'd reschedule for today, but no set time.

This time, I called the person and they didn't pick up. I was irritated. Instead of being passive aggressive, I sent a playful text of, "We are officially playing tag now and you are it. 🏃‍♀️ 😋"

I am trying to be patient. 

I normally lash out by blocking them and discarding them when a normal, healthy person would simply explain themselves and have an adult conversation without bitterness. But me? No, I must scorch the earth, which is embarrassing and childish.