I constantly get called "scared" or a "dumbass" because im anxious. I have such a hard time articulating my thoughts, even speaking clearly at times and Sorry to say to this but i come off as retarded. Also i do a lot of stupid things in front of people because im anxious, my body coordination goes wack, my cognitive thinking goes away and i just make a fool out of myself in front of people. Like at work and school i see so many people get irritated at my behavior because i come off as "stupid". Like i see the confusion on peoples faces when im trying to explain something, or i get teased for being dumb by coworkers my age, or i get ridiculed by older coworkers.

My eyes also get watery when im speaking/listening to someone sometimes... Maybe overwhelmed from the eye contact idk.. And i start fidgeting or making erratic movements etc.. And people tell me to "calm down" or "dont be scared", that one especially "you look scared". 

All this lowers my self esteem and my self identity. I hate how i am, in all honesty i might be autistic man.

I have no friends, im introverted as hell, i hate talking. I have a hard time expressing myself, i have no personality and no confidence. 

Im so lonely and i feel like nobody gets me dude. Literally today at work my coworker thats my age teased me by saying "look at this dumbass he doesnt know what hes doing". Because i guess i looked awkward doing my job and i know he was teasing but still.. I have a hard time living with social anxiety. Its caused so much depression in my life, i think i have autism.