I like being alone, but I also get lonely.  When I try to put myself out there I regret it. I ask acquaintances to hang out, and decided to give Tinder a shot (lowest effort and most direct dating/hookup option). People don't get back to me, and I don't want to bother them too much in case I look clingy. 

I figure if they're actually interested (whether its friends or dating) they'll respond to me or initiate once Iv'e expressed interest myself. But if someone doesn't text me back, I give up. I think I'm rejected and don't want to bother them again. Its also hard not to compare everyone to the only person I actually want around but can't have. It takes too much emotional effort and anxiety for me to pursue the friendship/relationship just to get my feelings hurt and embarrass myself more.

When I do get invited out to something, I feel like its out of pity. No one cares if I actually come.

I asked a former classmate if they wanted to meet up for drinks after work, and they seemed enthusiastic. But by the time I got off work, they weren't responding. They told me the next day they were asleep. I feel like 

a)Plans with me weren't important enough to stay up for or 

b)they're lying and they found something better to do with their Friday night.

If they wanted to go to bed or cancel couldnt they have at least let me know? now I probably won't talk to them anymore unless they contact me first. 

I might just be inherently unlikable. I'm probably annoying and unfunny and should just stay by myself because its better than being embarrassed and rejected repeatedly. I know Im not supposed to feel this way, but I might as well wait until I depersonalize enough that it wont matter anymore. 