so for some backstory 
1.  i have something called emetophobia which is a phobia of vomit
2. i have EXTREME attachment issues and separation anxiety with my boyfriend and 2 roomates / best friends 

alright so let’s begin, i’m going to keep this as short as possible, but i woke up this morning with a pit of anxiety in my stomach, i was feeling VERY sick, like on the verge of throwing up which really just sent me into a spiral. i had bad stomach pain, severe anxiety, headache, dia*** but also constipation both just on and off. i’ve also had no appetite all day and trying eat made me feel sick to my stomach. 
now, i was also leaving on a trip this morning with my dad and little sister to go on a little vacation in some other cities in my country. we planned to be away for 1 week and i was truly excited for this and even thought it would be a healthy challenge for me to step out of my comfort zone and be away from my normal surroundings. 

some reasons that could be causing me to feel off - woke up to early and disrupted my sleep schedule (sometimes this makes me feel off), i’m on my period, anxiety to travel?

what my head is telling me - i’m going to throw up, i have food poisoning or a stomach bug and i’m going to be without my comfort people and in a different environment and this is absolutely TERRIFYING and like sends me into an impending doom spiral of panic. 

so now it’s 9pm. we haven’t even been here a day and i’ve had multiple panic attacks, still feel super ill and haven’t eaten and want to leave so bad. i want to go home like right now. i want to leave on a flight back home as soon as i can and i don’t know how to tell my dad. i already told him i’m feeling anxious and homesick and he’s just been trying to tell me that it will pass and that i’ll get over it and that i’m just adjusting but i honestly want to just buy my own plane ticket and leave right now. 

i feel so stupid for going on this trip and i feel so beaten down by anxiety taking over and ruining everything.