Doc upped my dose but never put in to have it filled. So I go to refill, and they say it was never approved. End up waiting two weeks to go back, I have major anxiety around doctor appointments and hate calling them for anything. Not that they ever pick up anyways. 

Well, after starting again, it’s been about three weeks. Life blows. Had a bout of hypomania over the weekend, and now I just want to off myself. I don’t want to do this stupid shit the rest of my life. I fucking hate everything. I don’t want to keep fucking playing guessing games on what med will make me not want to die after three weeks. I can’t keep doing this shit man. 

My life isn’t even that fucking bad. I just don’t function at all. I haven’t cleaned my room in months. I barely take care of my cats. I fucking hate being a useless piece of shit. Even when I’m fucking manic I won’t clean. What a fucking rip off. Fuck this shit.