A couple days ago I was extremely depressed and seeing no point at all in any of the things I was doing anymore. I've been inpatient for the 5th time in 5 months, it's all getting out of hand, I refuse to go inpatient once again. I would feel so useless, like I'm entering a non-ending spiral that leads me to nowhere but wasting my life.

I don't know exactly how, but today I'm super excited about meeting a friend of mine I smoked a blunt with yesterday, and I want to do some graffitis and listen to loud beautiful music with him. I want to forget the world and the people who hurt us so bad and be happy for a while. it's going to be one good day, i'm sure of it.

Man, this bpd can be really confusing sometimes. I don't even know what I'm feeling anymore. I'm a fucking rollercoaster lmao.