was feeling so in love and decided to research deep into what my bf did the month when we broke up and have never regretted anything more in my life. despite my bpd I was feeling so safe and trusting of him. i can't erase what I've seen. Started dissociating so bad for three days, didn't feel real or in my body. then yesterday I was followed home from work by a 40 year old man, he followed me into my bus and tried to ask for what stop i was getting off at on the bus. kept calling me beautiful and kept harassing me even when i expressed clear discomfort. i made a scene in front of everyone and started crying. He went downstairs and tried to wait for me to come down. a woman noticed what was going on and the bus driver got him to leave. 

everything was going so good and i feel so tired and fed up. my dissociating is fading but now I don't really want to feel anymore. i can't deal with another breakdown. i can't deal with feeling anxious and obsessive, i was fucking getting better. i was FUCKING GETTING BETTER. Fuck this.