It’s the kind of pain and frustration associated with both physical and emotional pain that makes you literally start leaking tears from your eyes. Crying always feels like an effort for me when I’m really sad. Sobbing takes effort. But when I cry like this and the tears drip down without any effort it feels more like I’m dying and have no energy left to fight the pain or the sickness.

Chronic conditions without a guarantee of death are such terrible things. I constantly felt like I was dying today. And yesterday it was both physical and emotional pain.

I’m extremely sleepy and tired but the discomfort makes it so hard to sleep. Reddit helps me relax a bit, talking even if it’s to no one specifically helps me take my mind off the pain.

Painkillers have little to no effect now. My daily cycle of medications has no effect now. I’m getting symptoms every day regardless of what I eat or drink or do or don’t do

I didn’t realize that even with my prior depression there is a way to feel even sadder and more In pain than I previously thought possible

What’s worse is I’m so alone
Nobody is thinking or worrying about me
I could literally accidentally die in my sleep, be so incapacitated that I can’t move from the bed and call for medical assistance, and nobody would be thinking about me because nobody understood the depth of my pain