Do you know that feeling when you can clearly define your problems in your thoughts, but just can't find the words to pass them on to others? And this is also the problem, you think there is a solution to all your problems, you just have to find it. Actually you know that there is no solution. And this thought loop goes on forever. I sometimes feel like I can't exist anymore, like my mind is dissolving and yet life somehow flows on. I'm scared of the world because I think I've forgotten who I am, what makes me who I am and I no longer have any intuition. Because the whole "being" is only subjective, there is no objectivity in this world. For every thesis there is a corresponding counter-thesis, in the end everything is just belief. People believe in something, whether it's religion, science, or love. I feel like I've lost this belief, I don't know what I believe in and I don't have the courage to fit into a certain social structure.  In the end it's always up to you, I know that. Only you can save yourself, nobody in this world, really nobody will be able to help you to solve these problems.  I think many have these fears in them, the question in the end is probably just how to deal with it. Maybe all this brooding is just an expression of my "illness", but who defines illness?