My BPD rage finally made my mom give up on me.  She's blocked me on social media and blocked my number.  

I feel really alone and abandoned right now.  I don't mean to be so awful.  I just can't help it sometimes.  

This really just confirmed for me that I truly am an awful person who is unworthy of love. 

I started cutting again today because the pain inside hurts too much to deal with.  I tried to open my wrists but I'm too much of a coward and I couldn't do it.

Edit: boyfriend came home over an hour late, didn't bother messaging me to let me know he'd be late which he knows I hate and really fucks me up when he does it because I assume the worst and worry myself to death, yelled at me when I expressed being upset with this, then fucking left again.  So I'm sitting here all alone again.  I'm such a piece of shit. 