I like to plan most things and to follow that plan, it's hard for me to deviate from it. Sometimes I end up doubting myself and wondering if I even still want to do things, or if I'm just doing them because I've put them on the plan, sometimes it just feels like I don't know my own mind. 

I have social anxiety because of the ambiguity of it, and I doubt every single decision I make because I need time to think it's the right one. If I send a message to someone I go over it over and over in case they won't like it or something. 

I don't want to control people, I sometimes give advice but I've never really thought of it as if they don't do it they are wrong. I do like to do projects by myself, though, and now I just worry if I ever got a partner I'd be super controlling. I don't think any of my friends would say I'm controlling of them, but I now feel like everything points to me being a control freak. 

I feel so ashamed about it, I don't want to be this way. I hate controlling my own life so much, I wouldn't want to control anyone else, and I don't want to have been doing it unconsciously! Because I'm so ashamed, I'm worried about even talking to my therapist about it, in case she thinks I am an awful person for being this way. 

Can CBT even help with this sort of controlling behaviour? I'm so worried I won't get over it, and I'll never have a proper relationship without thinking I'm getting controlling.