Hey, so does any one ever feel like they have to beg other people for time with you because they can never gauge how much you need something when you say you need it. Like in my experience with relationships, I’ve always been the person to need less space and want more time together, which often makes partners less attuned to my needs.  Like I jump at an opportunity to see my FP even if it’s last minute, but couldn’t expect them to come do the same if I ever decided I really wanted or needed to see them last minute. Makes me wonder, how could I ever rely on this person if they can’t ever put my needs first, as I have done for them? I know I shouldn’t expect people to not have boundaries, like me. 
I also constantly feel like people are trying to manipulate me into doing things for them. Like they won’t spend time with me unless they know they can get something out of it. Maybe it’s an insecurity thing, because I don’t think anyone could possibly like caring/ being around someone who’s mental illness make them so hard to be around. Im generally a very caring, naturally nurturing, and giving person and like to bring my favorite person loads of snacks whenever I come over because I know they sometimes can’t afford to spend on indulgences. So on days when I know they’re feeling shitty I’ll offer send money for weed or food hoping I can use that to get to see them that I’ll catch them at a good moment to ask if I can also see them. 