I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't drink coffee, I don't do drugs. I exercise two to three times a week.  I Meditate.

And yet, here I am, every morning, with that pit in my stomach and the pressure on my chest. Anxious about the same things, like a scratched record. Not willing to let go until I find an answer (unfortunately there is no solution).   


I just want someone to fix my problem or give me a lot of money, which comes to about the same. Basically, I am hoping for a miracle.   


And I see my friends, going through worse shit, and not getting like I am. Is it because I am dealing with all this alone? Why am I not as resilient as them?  


Round and around the thoughts go.