So I just got diagnosed with BPD yesterday. It's not like it's coming out of nowhere. I've suspected I had BPD since I was 15.  But my older therapists didn't really take the time to get to know and they said I didn't have it. When my therapist said I had it, I looked over the symptoms again for the first time in a long time and wow does it fit me. And coming to this community and seeing terms like FP for the first time is really helping me to understand some of my behaviors. 

My boyfriend, now ex, broke up with me in November. He said I was just too emotional, that I could turn on him out of nowhere without even giving him a chance, that he has to sort out his own mental health and can't be what I need right now. I'm realizing now how codependent the relationship was but also how much my symptoms of BPD affected it. I can't but think how things may have been different if I got this diagnosis sooner. 

It's hard to explain how all of this makes me feel. I just feel really small like a pebble. I feel really lost and confused. I guess it's a lot to navigate and it's overwhelming. I'm thinking maybe joining a BPD support group might help. Right now, I think I just need to know that there's other people out there that understand and relate to what I'm going through and that I'm not alone. Any support or advice would be appreciated. I just feel really lost and alone right now.