How can I stop hating myself and the world so much? I absolutely loathe the world and just minutes ago I said, at a family dinner, that I’m surprised people DON’T end themselves, the way this world is going. It just falls out of me. everything in my mind is clouded with negativity.  I WANT to be happy, cheerful and a nice person to hang with, but I just can’t. I have too much hate in my mind. Hate towards humanity. I think I’m a misanthrope. I really wish I wasn’t, but it’s very hard to change how my mind works. 

All this negativity clouding my brain really destroys my quality of life. Everyday is pain and suffering. I can feel okay for a little bit, then I remember one of the bunch of things I hate about this world and it kills my entire day.

If you don’t experience this it may be very hard to understand, and you probably think I’m an absolute piece of shit, or just a negative idiot for “choosing to be like that”. It’s not a choice. I keep trying to better myself, and I keep failing. 

Any advice, anyone relate, anyone have any thoughts, just anything? I just wish it would end.