What are you supposed to do when the only thing to help you feel happy is to spend money on things to preoccupy you until you get bored of them? What do u do when nothing in this world seems to give u the energy or the motivation u need to get things done? I’ve been depressed and suicidal for almost a whole year and have been dealing with self harm for almost just as long and it’s so hard to keep going. 

I don’t know how else to not be sick anymore.

I’ve already attempted suicide this year and I still get urges to go back. Why didn’t anybody say it would be this hard and that the world moves so slow? Drugs can only do so much and so can spending money. What’s something that will always keep my heart happy?