Here's the situation, I'm in a long term relationship that's also long distance. We both have kids, however, we have raised our kids differently. My kids are very independent and I've always "pushed" them to do things, and learn to cope, and if they can't or struggle then I intervene. But for the most part when it comes to life happenings, I have the life sucks, it is what it is, you have to do xyz. I.E. they have a test in school and don't want to go, my response, school is your job, grades are your income, you have to go to school, you have to take your test. If they're worried about failing, I encourage them and help to study, or tell them to talk to their teachers. Be an advocate for themselves. My SO, not some much him, but mainly his ex wife, have different approach. His kids are rarely "pushed". Rarely told to deal with life. They take more mental health days then my kids take actual sick days. When they divorced the kids had no problem spending the night, one day one of them started freaking out and refused to stay there. She now no longer stays there. Was perfectly fine before, now it makes her cry and scream at the idea of spending the night. He's gone out of his way to try to figure out why. They said they don't like how high their bed is, loft with a slide, they begged for....he ruined the 1k bed and cut the legs off....still won't. They say idk why I don't want to. They throw a fits to get their way and always claim they don't know why it makes them feel like that. One of his kids hates going to the park when their siblings want to go, screams, cries, begs not to. They're even told they can sit in the car and play games on the phone....still hard no. Today they were going to get ice cream to celebrate their siblings birthday, called him 10 minutes before coming over asking to not go. Whining, crying begged to not go. Kids just got back for a 7+ day trip from Disney with NO anxiety issues. The offspring that hates going anywhere where people are had zero issues. The offspring that will no longer stay at his house had zero issue staying in a strange hotel....I don't get it. Please help me understand how certain things can trigger and other things don't. I kinda feel like it's sometimes fake, just to get their way. And I hate saying that, but I can't understand how Disney is fine, but sitting in a car with mo need for interaction is bad. I don't suffer from anxiety, my kids don't either.