Where do I start. I’m an 18 year old male that has zero friends yes you read that right zero friends. My whole day consists of me being in my room all day doing nothing. I don’t know how I got into this situation. I used to have friends but slowly distances myself away from them as they were what people call fake ‘friends’ friends that use you. I feel like every person I have met has used me and no one has really been genuine to me and actually cared about me. But honestly at the position I am in now I regret distancing myself from those fake friends as I will take any form of human connection. Oh and did I mention my parents who I don’t even speak to anymore that are complete narcissists. They say that there’s nothing wrong with me even though I am clearly depressed and think about suicide everyday. I blame my parents too for the position I am in right now. I grew up in a toxic household where my parents would argue and fight while having narcissistic characteristics. I went to three different schools from age 4 to 8 each one of them being in a different city. This I think really affected my ability to form relationships with other people from a young age. I never had that one childhood friend you grew up with since young. I was never settled in a comfortable environment and always had to try and make new friends. Eventually when we did settle in to a new city it was too late for me. I was aged 8 when I settled into that new city and school. This school was completely different to the other ones though and I experienced bullying but not the typical type of bullying. I remember being in the playground asking to play but no one would let me. In the classroom everyone was talking but would never let me join in on the conversation. They would do this to me but never tell me why. This affected my self esteem from a young age and stuck with me for life till this day. I blame my parents for this and refuse to be close with them anymore. So basically I have no one but myself. They robbed me of my childhood. I feel so scared when I realise I’m completely alone in this world and if I died today no one would care. What should I do?