My friend is not always emotionally distant. But when something bad happens in his life, his emotions completely turn off and he does very destructive and impulsive things. I don’t want to get into those details too much, but he’s gotten a DUI as a result that he’s since cleared. I’m worried one day he might kill himself. He can’t promise anyone he won’t. He can’t even promise he would call beforehand just to give anyone a fighting chance. At the moment, he is fine. But when something bad happens, he completely turns off and I never know how to help if and when I can. Sometimes it happens while I’m on the phone. He doesn’t listen. 

I just need some help. Anyone have suggestions for this behavior? I’m trying to think of ways to appeal to the logical side of his brain during this. Is there anything I can say, like “are you hungry? you should go to McDonald’s” or something of the sort? Something to keep him busy without him knowing I’m trying to get him to stop?

He lives in another state, and I don’t have contact with his family. I don’t know their social media either. My best bet is telling his best friend, but he lives in the same state I do. But he would be more likely to reach out to his family. Neither of us ever really know where he is at a certain time, and I don’t have his license plate or anything of the sort. 

I just need deescalation help, I guess. Let me know if this is the wrong subreddit for this, I was trying to look and I just couldn’t find anything. any advice on what to say or do helps.

He is otherwise a wonderful friend. Very thoughtful and helpful. Cares for the people he’s around. Just not when he’s in that state. Which I understand and know it’s an issue.