My existence feels heavy and dark and overwhelming. I try to isolate myself so that I’m not a burden on others, because I feel like a dark shadow in their lives. I convince myself they don’t care about me or my depression before I ever find the strength to reach out to them these days. 

I feel like I’ve pushed away all my friends with my negative energy, like they resent me for talking about my pain and sadness. Like they only see me as my pain and sadness.

Am I even a real person? Or am I just a dark cloud?

I feel alone. Thankfully I don’t get depressed too often anymore, but when I do I sink so deeply into it and tell myself that I can’t burden others with my sadness because they hate me and they can’t help me anyway. What can anyone do anyway? Nothing.