When BPD first hit me in my late teens/early twenties I became very toxic. Drug &amp; alcohol abuse, getting in fights, bulimia, self-harming, hooking up with pretty much anyone… name it, I had it all. 

I ended up loosing everyone I had. Now that I’m older, wiser and able to control my disorder pretty well (most days) I’m so lonely. I have absolutely no friends but I want a social life, that would help me so much to feel happy and thrive. It’s just so hard making friends at 27. Especially with such low self-esteem I feel like no one really wants to hang out with me. I also always have anxiety of coming across people from my past cause I’m so ashamed of who I used to be. Anyone has tips to develop and maintain healthy friendship?