Newly diagnosed BPD here. I fucked up the best thing I had in my life and I don’t know how I’m going to get it back. I was in a relationship with my best friend, and when she decided she didn’t want a relationship, that fear of abandonment took over me and I became irrational and downright awful. Now she’s not speaking to me at all, which I understand. I know she cares about me because she wants me to get help, and I have. I’m going to therapy and possibly starting some sort of medication to stable my moods. I wanna reach out to her but I don’t know when the timing will be right, because she deserves to know that I shouldn’t have put her through that and that she is my best friend. And that I’m sorry for my actions, because I couldn’t control myself.