All during the covid lockdowns I had hope. Hope things would get better it would end soon. Life would have some sort of semblance when it's done.

Now covid although not "over" lockdowns and the media propaganda to be scared and stuff is gone.

My hope is gone. I make a decent living. I somehow manage to get out of bed and go to work. But I layed in bed this morning. And said why. Nothing is ever going to get better. I'm now coating money to work and function. Can't afford to get to work. But can't afford to not work. 

Even food I can't afford that. I don't know how my children are expected to live in this crappy world anymore. Heck I don't want to live in this crappy world anymore. 

I looked at my pills this morning and thought they are almost.gone.. can I even afford more? Is there a point in it? Will I ever get better? I just want to get home and curl into a ball. It's safe there.