Has anyone managed long term relationships? I’ve been with the father of my children for 10 years(we did break up for a year a couple years ago). Relationships are just hard, I want so badly to change but it seems like I always end up at a pre breaking point or breaking point. I recently have been diagnosed with BPD(I always knew I was different but just tried to please people so they would like me and push my stuff deep down) and well it’s been hard for him. We have had issues through our relationship with me to the point of leaving or running to other people but always come back. He is a great guy and when I explained a bit more about how I feel in certain situations he was taken aback but understanding. Apologized a lot for past situations and said he wish he knew sooner. 

I am scared though. Scared of him seeing the real me. What if he doesn’t like it? What if he can’t put up with me? What if he never understands? I’m scared of the resentment I’ve felt through the years. I’m scared and don’t believe I can ever truly trust someone or be happy. I know I love him but was I ever truly in love if I never truly showed myself(not that I have the exact idea of who that is)? 

Just wondering if anyone from any length long term relationship has any advice they can throw my way.