I blame my mom for my BPD a lot. She was/is still emotionally abusive toward me and one of my sisters and plays favorites with another and it pisses me off so much. I always want to go off on her and tell her how much she sucked as a parent when i was growing up and how i see such a difference between her and her favorite and me and her. I’m so angry right now and I was out of the house but because of a recent circumstance i had to move back in with my parents and i want to die. I do not want to live here or be anywhere near her. things were perfect when i wasn’t living with her. i could come visit her and leave when she made me uncomfortable. I cringe when she yells at my little sister. I cringe when anyone yells around me. 
and now i feel like i can’t leave, when i moved in she told me that my little sister (6) was crying almost every day in my room because i left. and now i feel like my little sister needs my patience because i’m the only one who can talk her through her emotions, everyone else just yells at her when she acts out, not understanding that she’s a child and she needs guidance. I hate my mom, and i really feel like cutting her out of my life for what she’s done to me. i hope my little sister never has to feel this way. 