I'm furious and I've every valid reason to be, I'm not "acting borderline" and misinterpreting, even a totally healthy person would burst. Actually, if I was an healthy person I'd be able to show my anger in this case, because it's fucking unaccettable.

But I can't. I'm stuck, my mind keeps saying I'm going to lose who's hurting and disrespecting me (maybe because I never stand up for myself, never get mad, so everybody is used to take me for granted and treat me unfairly without realizing it), and I don't want it. 

If I was mature enough, I would get angry. I would do a fucking scene because this is too much so it's fucking REQUIRED to be mad. Then I would try to make clear that we're still friends, but I'm disappointed and I want respect.

I won't do any of this. I'll smile and be nice as always. Am I even borderline if I can't fucking SCREAM when is needed for the life of me?