Hello all. First time posting in this subreddit. Apologies for any spelling errors: on break at work on mobile.

I was diagnosed back when I was 24/25 (I am 31 now) and shortly after that, I received my diagnosis of C-PTSD.  I was in an extremely abusive relationship for 5 years (hence the C-PTSD diagnosis). I have been working my butt off when it comes to my mental health. It got to the point where I could say my abuser’s name, think his name, or even think of the past abuse without spiralling down.

Well. Now I…can’t. My best friend recently shattered my trust and I don’t know how to work through it. He essentially sent me messages saying that he would have to take any focus on our friendship and remove it so that he could focus on his new friends/new area. He has made these comments multiple times and whenever I try to confront him about it, everything gets turned back around on him and how he’s feeling. It happened again, recently, when we had made plans to call (our regular call on the weekend). He rescheduled for later in the day and then I never heard back from him. This caused a lot of anger and hurt feelings on my end but I actually kept it together.

When I confronted him with how I felt about everything, he told me that I had to get over it. He minimized my emotions and concerns/fears. Ever since then, I’ve been noticing a lot of red flags that I never noticed before (or talked away or ignored). How he would sometimes treat me like my abuser did. It’s at the point where I get the two confused in my head.

I don’t trust him anymore. He says one thing and his actions scream something else. He was a major pillar in my support network but…not anymore.

Am I going crazy for being this angry and hurt? Is it wrong of me to want to just…not see him again? Does anyone have any suggestions on how to help me at least move past this until my appointment?

Note: I have an appointment with my therapist at the end of the month. I can’t get in to see her any sooner because of how busy she is.