I keep telling myself what I need to do.
But I just can't do it anymore.
There's no reward for doing anything right.
I'm expected to sacrifice while others gain.
I can't keep going on like this.
I keep getting sick.  Colds, Covid whatever.
I keep going broke for all manic spending.
I can't live out my own aspirations.
I can't work hard without feeling mentally and physically ill.
I can't make enough money.
I can't focus on what I need to do.
I've distanced myself from my friends and family.  Even though I still live with my parents and I'm 33.  I don't even care just tell me I'm a loser.
My meds aren't working anymore, but I'm not sure if they ever worked.
My car is dirty.  My room is dirty and I just don't have the motivation to clean it anymore.
Can't even take a relaxing shower anymore without thinking I'd be better off dead.