welcome to my pity party  .. updating my cv and realised i only have 2 references coz i have fucked up every relationship and job ive ever had lolll alcoholic 24 yr old, addicted to annything i can get my hands on, drinking at work,  obviously terrible at my job, my health is shit (mostly my own fault), i drink because i cant face feeling inadequate or being rejected, scared im going to rot my teeth from throwing up so much, gained 10kg in 3 months, no skills, i drove under the influence last yr, crashed my car and lost my license, i cant stop lying! everyone thinks ive been vegetarian for 10 years and thats a lie,  somehow avoided x3 serious charges that i should gone to jail for, i constantly live with the fear of one of them popping back up and fucking up my whole life, i cant even stick to my supposed moral compass, my entire life is a lie? and im such a hateful person. i dont even have any good qualities. think ive hit rock bottom (hope this is rock bottom). im in a happy relationship and they know none of this.. i dont know what to do..  where do i even begin to tackle this fucking shitshow lol have a therapist but pretty sure if i unleash she'll lock me away. deleting this tomorrow