i know i’m not perfect, very clearly i’m not. i can be selfish and say shitty things and get mad over dumb shit. but sometimes people tell me things and i’m like, “i didn’t think i was that bad?” my junior year roommate said that i was a menace to live with, was trying to ask our rector to switch rooms because of it. i remember two instances where i agree, i was awful but i can’t think of any others. unless i was just stressing her out with my bad habits in regards to myself?? 

then my ex told me that he didn’t want to talk about moving in with me because id be “pushy like you always are about hanging out”. i didn’t think i was pushy. i thought i asked and just wanted to understand why. i didn’t tell him he had to, i just didn’t know why he didn’t want to. 

like, do i just not realize when i’m being shitty sometimes? i never thought i was that pushy or mean, but maybe i am more than i know and i’m stressed. i don’t want to make people upset.