Hey all sorry for posting again :( I really need to talk to people and I’m too ashamed to talk to my friends and family 

He broke up with me soon after my last post

Right now, I called off all shifts, I haven’t studied, I did not eat yesterday- I cried all day. 

We promised to never break up (unfortunately in arguments I asked for breaks) we were supposed to move in together and then move to Oregon :( 

I caused a fight that hurt him so much - I caused it because i wanted attention but at the time i blamed it on my jealousy and boredom. Things seemed okay after the fight, almost normal, but yesterday he said he can’t take it anymore 

I’m trying to get him back - so hard . I just want another chance now that I’m getting help. I feel so empty and so much pain. It feels like I can’t live without him and I’ve even considered suicide - I pray he takes me back - he’s the most kinds sweetest person I’ve ever met :( I hate myself so much I feel like I won’t be able to find anyone like him ever :( he was the best thing that ever happened to me and the thought of being with someone else makes me sick I don’t want anyone’s hands on me except him