Honestly that's only part of my problem. I recently got out of a relationship with a guy after realizing that I am a lesbian. Ever since I've had this constant fear that I'm going to be single forever. Every time I start to get stuck in this loop I automatically jump onto tinder or bumble or okaycupid and swipe through pictures of people, most of whom are way more attractive than me. Then the cycle repeats. 

I don't know why I'm doing this. I work myself up into such a state on a regular basis. It's not like I'm managing to go on many dates. I went on a couple of dates with someone and when the second one didn't work out I ended up in the ED. 

I'm probably being totally irrational, my logical self knows that I'm only 19, that I have plenty of time but my *other* self fixates on this issue (and many others) in the worst way possible.