Hi Guys

I'm 29 years old and have been suffering from some kind of Mood/emotional disturbance my whole life and have been affraid to tell anyone. I have always thought it was some kind of bipolar, as my mood and self-esteme can periodicly reach a point where the simplest tasks makes me feel like a genius plus all my plans, thoughts and ideas are too big for this world and completely unrealistic. In theese periods i tend to be incredible hyperactive and at times productive but always impulsive and incredibly bad at finishing anything i start.

Othertimes, like now, its the complete opposite and i feel like a complete waste of space with no desire to live but also no desire to die. In my down periods, i pour my emotions on everyone around me, i get very sticky and experience seperation anxiety - I have lost several girlfriends on this account. In my good periods theese traits are all gone.

I have always felt like my feelings controlled me. I cannot watch movies at all as the emotional stress is too much. It's like everything i feel is just too much, positive and negative. A Google search today led me to BPD and i started reading your threads. 

I feel like a lot of my issues relate to BPD exept the periodicly bloated selfesteem. Can any of you relate to that?

My doctor referred me to a psychiatrist, but there's at least 10 Weeks wait.

Do any of you have links to anything to read on managing emotions while I wait?