Which has been many over my long history of piss-poor mental health—more than most, seemingly. Just... research, like some people I have come across online and in people personally within my life. It could help to identify sensations and potential problems and allow me to go to bat for myself more clearly, confidently, and easily, rather than putting all of the faith, stock and responsibility into one psychiatrist to ask the right questions, deduce correctly, and snuff out what might be going in a short time frame—to basically be excellent and fantastic at their job.

Or maybe not. Still... I wish I had this—the natural, innate ability to research. Not even in regards to just mental health, but... anything. Anything really at all. It's never be a part of me, never been able to learn it and just do it. Always unnatural. It's one of the many facts that I've learned over the course of my life, about myself personally, that makes me feel inadequate as a person overall.

With anything, knowledge is power—and I hardly ever have it. Never have.