Venting moment: I should be happy. I have caring parents and friends. My eyes are filled with tears right now. It's so dramatic. I came into my hometown to see my parents and I'm having a hard time being the son I should be. They do so much for me and I just seem like a whimpering fool. I saw my ex-boyfriend this weekend...stayed with him two nights...and felt empty when I left this afternoon. I texted the guy I'm into tonight...I said "hey quiet one." He responded with "hi there" and I said "how's everything?" (I really hate the small talk thing to be honest) but he never responded.

I feel like I'm a lost soul. I drink too much. I don't deserve the attention my parents give me because I don't feel like I treat them well enough.  I'm falling for someone that doesn't seem to care about me as much. I give my ex more attention than he deserves. 
Fucking up and self sabotaging.....

And here I am tearing up about it. 

