recently i have had the thought at the back of my head that i wanted to kill someone or myself, some people have been making my time worse then it need's to be and i feel like i should give a warning about fucking off and stop irritating me, or actually kill them to set an example.

i don't see myself with a future and am struggling as of right now i have been going thru some very sad shit, last year my grandpa died, the lockdown's have made me less socially capable, and some kid's have been have been majorly aggravating me so i feel like i should at least send a threat.

i do have a small amount of hope that keep's me from wanting to kill people and is holding me back from killing myself, everything has been hard for me.

i said i want to set an example but i don't want to kill someone but at least make them fear me, even me beating a kid would do it for me, i don't think i will kill someone mainly because of the sadness and grief it would bring my parent's and there is someone i hope i might have chance with.