Hi, 18 y/o male coming from the US. I used to be one of the happiest people I knew. I could make any negative situation into a positive one, used to gift give a lot, and used to laugh at almost anything. I was really fun to be around. 

Flash forward, in 2021:
Lost my grandma and grandfather
Lost my savings in the stock market
Had a terrible senior baseball season and senior year, due to just harassment and maturity issues.
Had a huge falling out with my bestest of friends since the 8th grade, really bad. Ended up telling one of my best friends I liked this girl,(he told her when I asked him not to)
Ended up losing both of my friend groups, so about seven close friends. Pretty much spent all my time with these guys

^all of this stuff was the first half of the year, then I felt like it started to get better but I’m not sure

Started working a ton to get my mind off of it, went off to college and made some acquaintances/friends and I am back into contact with some of my friends from before, but they are still treating me badly. I am not going to elaborate much on what happened but I had talked to over 30 people on the situation, all which were adults and 80% of them laughed and thought nothing of it. The parents of my best friends were also on my side saying I didn’t do anything wrong. (Involved alcohol, me saying dumb things)

Anyway, I was pretty depressed before. Late at night I was getting suicidal thoughts, but never ended up doing anything because in the back of my head there was some light. I sort of broke out of my worse phrase of depression I feel like, but now I’m kind of just lazy and bored. I don’t have motivation or drive to do anything, I feel weak and I can’t laugh. That’s the biggest thing that bothers me, I can’t value myself or laugh. I am on a waitlist for a therapist and I figured I would just leave this here to maybe get some opinions? I can give for information if needed, thank you so much!