Ive been hanging out with this guy I met at work for the last almost 12 months - he’s straight and I’m gay but I’ve developed feelings for him and it is driving me absolutely insane to the point I can’t function and I have no clue what to do. He drops occasional hints that maybe he’s closeted but I don’t know if I’m just being hopeful / looking for what I want to see. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even go to work because it upsets me so much. I have had to ghost him completely and deleted all my social media so I’m not tempted to try and talk to him but the feelings aren’t going away and I’m going to have to go back to work at some point because debt collectors are starting to call me I have rent etc to cover - am I seriously going to have to consider getting a new job every time I develop feelings for someone that aren’t reciprocated? I feel like a terrible person for ghosting him coz I know he cares about me and values our friendship and he is going through a really tough time and a break up at the moment but I don’t know what else to do without putting my mental health seriously on the line for something that may never work out. I have been tossing up inviting him over to tell him how I feel so that he understands why I have to cut him off, but I’m not sure if I just want to do that because I’m hoping he will end up confessing his love for me or something, but I don’t know if I’m going to be able to move on from this if I don’t come clean because I will always be stuck on the possibility of what could have been if i told him and it worked out in my favour. His family is super homophobic so even if that was the case there’s no way it would ever go anywhere further and I feel like whatever was to develop would only be temporary until he found a girl or something. I’m going absolutely crazy over this and feel like it has taken control of my whole life and has me stressing that I am never going to be able to find anyone to be with in my life because of how intense my emotions become when love / a crush is involved. Someone please help me out here