I can't do anything right. Any time I talk to my bf it ends in a fight. I don't mean to pick them, it's like we start talking and I wake up in an argument. I don't know how it gets to that point, or where it goes wrong.

Earlier I said 'i love you' and got into an argument about it. He won't believe anything I say bc I've lied so many times. I just want it to be like it was in the beginning. Idk what to do. What the fuck do I do? I can't stop. I want to kill myself so bad. I think I'm gonna do it. I have everything together, I just need to pull the trigger.

He tried to dump me several times, and I tried to kill myself every time. The first time it was just a threat, the 2nd and 3rd times I didn't tell anyone and just did it.

How do I get him to talk to me? I don't want to argue. I want to fix things. I can't stand this.