Here is some background I posted here before as to our situation.
 I need some help. To give some back story, my marriage went through an extremely rough patch when my husband had an affair while I was pregnant. It was a lot of heartache and therapy and an ultimatum that made him finally make a choice and cut off all contact with his affair partner. The first few months back together were amazing. And we continued therapy. There were things we both did in our marriage that lead us to the point we got to. A few month after getting back together he came to me and said I think we should get some help again because I am feeling emotionally detached from you. I said ok so we are seeking help. Fast forward a month later I find out he’s fucking multiple women, one which he sees more often! And he says he plans to continue to see these woman! Wtf? I’m so confused. When he came back the first time and wanted another chance he said I have no idea how much he truly loves me and doesn’t want to lose me, but now he is hell bent on getting a divorce because this life is making him miserable. However with the birth of our second I think something more serious might be going on. He says things like, I hate my life I want a do over, I have no motivation to get out of bed. I hate people, I hate being a dad, family life is not for me. He regrets having kids, even though we planned together to have children. He doesn’t help with either one of our babies. He is always finding a reason to not be home. He can go and hangout or Help his aunt with stuff she needs done,but then come home and it’s just constant negativity. And no help really. Says he doesn’t really have friends and it’s really draining me. He says talking to a therapist or taking meds is pointless. I think he is dealing with depression, but he says I’m not depressed I just hate my life. Depression does run in his family, his childhood was complete shit and I also think there might be ptsd. I just don’t know what to do anymore, feeling so lonely and unloved in my marriage, but also don’t want to not be his support if he is battling depression, not sure what to do anymore?
I think I’m heartbroken and having a hard time accepting him wanting a divorce, even though with all the cheating it’s needed. I guess I’m just looking for some words of encouragement!? Or a slap back into reality!?

Now he has told his therapist he has had suicidal thoughts. He just started therapy last week. Well I went on my computer today and looked at my history and I find that he has searched for an alarming number of rap songs titled suicidal rap songs, one of the songs the rapper is writing a suicide letter, kills himself with a gun and the letter is about how sorry he his to his family and so on. It’s by joyner Lucas called I’m sorry. The I find on google maps he’s searched different areas of the us, mostly southeast areas. More towards Tennessee, and even more south.  One area was a highway 98 that was right across what looks like a cliff? We live towards Illinois area. There maps search was also quite a lot on my history. 
Is this something to take seriously? Or him just feeling guilty????? He’s sitting in front of me and seems perfectly normal so idk if I’m overreacting!? If you’ve taken the time to read and respond I really am thankful. I know he’s treated me horribly but I still don’t want to see him cause himself any harm.
