Trust me when I say I’m young as fuck. Makes no sense why I’m feeling this way but here we are. It’s just too heavy for me to brush off. I feel like I’ve been alive for a thousand years because of how draining it is to manage myself mentally and the effort I have to put in every day to stop feeling so unstable. I just feel pathetic when I’m doing what’s considered fun or “healthy” like I’m past this stage and need to do what’s normal for me (fucked up eating habits, isolate and dissociate, self-harm, self-loath, depressing “hobbies”, etc..) I feel more alive when I make bad decisions and stop taking care of myself but I also feel like death the whole time.