Time moves differently when you are distracted, happy, at ease, with others. Tonight I barely slept because I felt drowned by my thoughts. I should be able to get through this- play some games, read, cook. but I just feel choked by self-loathing. I don't wanna be myself. I can't fall asleep without sound because my thoughts scare me. I want to be loved and surrounded by loved ones but at the moment I'm alone again and I can't cope.