As stated above, for a few months I was constantly sad and hopeless feeling and a few days ago, for once I woke up without dread and even to the point of feeling nothing. And now I feel hopeful but at the same time I don't care about much. It feels a little weird to not be sad anymore and to be optimistic? 

Yesterday I lost my virginity to an excoworker (we weren't involved whatsoever) I liked the sex a alot and it was actually me who initiated it, but by the end of it I found myself suddenly bored of him and honestly disillusioned, at the end I even told him that I was a virgin and that having sex didn't make us a couple -he seemed really shocked by this.  I think I may have just used him by accident. I'm not exactly a 'good girl' but this is all just so unlike me. I haven't been in a serious relationship in a little over two years and suddenly my values have changed and I'm having meaningless sex with a man (six years older than me) that I hardly know and I can't seem to make myself care about him or the sex?

Its just so weird, how do feelings change as if at the flip of a switch?

I'm not sure what I'm looking to get out of posting this, I guess I just want to talk about it.