So I'm not really the type to text everyone every day.
But I will be there for my friends if they ever need me.
I have these fights with one of my best friends about not maintaining contact and how much it hurts them.
But I just felt they know how I was. And I got this suffocated feeling every time I realised I hurt them.
There were these fights throughout the year.
Then two days ago, it worsened. They're not talking to me now. They told me that they're tired of constantly putting effort into the friendship without getting anything in return. But I did try my very best in maintaining the friendship. And I loved them with my whole heart no matter how less of the contact. And when I heard them speaking about each time we met and how I was versus how I was online. I couldn't say anything back to them.
I feel suffocated as I realised how much I hurt them.
How much they were enduring. And it hurt me how I treated them it hurt me of how I blind I was to the situation. 

It hurts me that I lost such a best friend due to my negligence. Due to my selfishness. 
And now they don't pick up my calls or respond to talks. Or come to places so we can talk in person.

This is a summary of the events that happened. There's a lot of things I can't express through words.

I need a hug.