I´m 28 years old, i´ve barely managed to get an apprenticeship as a Warehouse Operator done, 7 years ago and ever since i´ve worked small jobs, not for very long though, tried out a School to improve my academic degree and failed, worked small jobs again only to now again trying to change my profession from Warehouse operator to Foreign Language Correspondent. But again i´m failing, i couldn´t keep up with Spanish at all, i have no trouble with English (background: i live in germany but i was born in america, thus i grew up bilingual) but things didn´t go very well in school regardless. My grades are around D, E and F all the time lately, i feel burned out, unmotivated and apathetic. I don´t know why i´m still trying to push through. My grades aren´t getting better, i should try to get a job. Not that i can´t hold one anyway. I have this weird thing going on where i´m really motivated for the first 1-4 months whenever i start something but than i don´t progress much from there. At work this means i repeat the same mistakes over and over again or become sick and unable to work. So i end up quitting or getting booted. In school it means for a while i´m motivated to do things, but eventually i become uninterested, on top of always being bad at studying in general. People describe me as intelligent but i just can´t make things work in any regulated environment. Not at a job nor in an academic setting. I don´t know if this has something to do with my ADHD, BPD, my major depression, my rotten personality. I simply can´t wrap my head around it.   


I could write a lot about my life here but i don´t have the energy to do so. Thus i try to summarize things in a nutshell: Got kicked out of at least 4-6 school when i was a child. Barely managed to finish highschool with somewhat good grades, any attempts to get jobs went akwardly chaotic. I worked in at least 3 different fields now where i had to either quit midway or was simply kicked out. As mentioned above i managed to eventually finish my apprenticeship and became a Warehouse Operator but became unhappy quickly in my job, hence my trials to improve my academic value to get better jobs. Nothing worked though. This leaves me as a 28 year old dude, sitting around his aunt´s place, not having worked in at least 3-4 years, no chance of finally becoming stable in a job nor make it through any academic setting. I ponder lately, whether or not i will ever find a place where i can thrive.