TL;DR: my doctor told me I am not psychotic enough to have schizophrenia and gave me a new, milder diagnosis, only to start having mixed episode symptoms a few days before seeing her. Imagine the timing! I haven't been diagnosed with bipolar btw.

I saw my psychiatrist a few days ago. She said that I don't have schizophrenia, but psychosis not otherwise specified, which is like a baby schizophrenia. It's been 5½ years since my diagnosis and at first it was brief psychotic disorder, then  schizophrenia and now PNOS. I had no relapses except once when I thought a specific person can read my mind. But it didn't last long at all. My doctor says that after 5½ years of no hospitalization, relapse, and hardly any symptoms at all, I am now diagnosed with F29 which is PNOS. But a few days before getting that information, I started having intense irritability and suicidality. Even while on meds. My stomach hurt from it and a week later, it's still here. I have to take ativan to stop thinking about suicide because the feeling is so bad. Imagine finding out you don't have schizophrenia, but a much milder disorder only to fall into a possible mixed episode. It's that or some medical condition. I'm in the middle of switching from haldol to abilify. I am telling my psychiatrist soon, I hope I don't get an anti-manic medication, because I like being happy. I don't wanna feel flat. I am already on lamictal because I did have mixed episodes before (but nothing like this) and strong depression.