A happy tone in my parents voice, a message on any social media, a little feeling if joy. They all give me hope that maybe today wont be as garbage as the last. But if you allow for hope you get torn back down feeling worse then before. I dont care if anyone sees this i just needed to say it. Im scared. Im scared I'll fail. Im scared I'll be hurt. Im scared I'll be hated. Im scared that im not be enough. Im scared to be alone. Hope forces you passed fear but fear is the only single protection which is why everytime i hope i get hurt.