Anyone else ever want to not approach anyone for an entire day, and instead, wait for people to approach *you* because they care about *you,* and *want* to *talk* to *you,* but then realize that you would probably only get to talk to, like, the one person who didn’t understand the homework and had already asked everyone else but still couldn’t find the answer, so you realize that your only real purpose is to be the last resort for an insignificant problem?   


I‘m always the person saying hi first, texting first, starting the conversation. I just wish someone would like me for *me,* instead of using me as a sort of shield in social situations so they don’t look like they’re alone.

I’m so tired of living with the knowledge that if I don’t carry all the weight and put in all the work for every friendship, I’ll end up alone. I’m so frustrated with the fact that, if I don’t let this person copy my homework, they won’t ask me again, which means they won’t talk to me.   
I just want to feel *loved*. It sounds so pathetic, but I hate being just another voice to laugh at other peoples jokes. I want a friend I can cry to, someone to reassure me and remind me they will always be there for me. Someone who will ask me how my day was, how I’m feeling.

Everyone else has someone they care about more than me.

I’m sick of being cast aside, chosen last, and looked over, but maybe that’s just who I’m meant to be. Someone has to be last place, right?