when I was in seventh grade, my private catholic school (where my class was 20 kids, 4 boys and 16 girls) went on a field trip to an outdoor obstacle course/trust excersise/get to know your friends and Jesus! type thing.

I was already the sad, depressed, "weird" kid at that point, nobody really liked me and I was laughed at a lot.

at one point, the counselor who looks a little too much like Jesus!, as most religious counselors under 25 do, had the twenty of us gather in a circle and started asking us questions. then we would go around and each answer. stupid stuff, like "what's your favorite color?" and "whats your favorite hymn during Mass©?"

the question in question (heh) was "whats your favorite song?" lots of taylor swift, like 6 kids said the climb by miley cyrus, all the boys said something by jason derulo. my favorite song at the moment was jason mraz's if it kills me, which is this super sweet song about being in love with your best friend and being afraid to tell them.

well I guess none of those *fucking religious **dweebs*** knew who jason mraz was??????????????and thought it was like some suicidal death metal devil music?????????????? so *of fucking course* everyone laughs at me and says shit like "I bet it is" "no surprise there."

fuck me man. (if you dont know the song, seriously, go listen, its insanely **not** death metal)

well a few questions later, the counselor asks us "if you were an animal, what would you be, and WHY (THIS PARTNIS IMPORTANT)?" this was butt-fuck-nowhere cowtown btw. how many girls do you bet said "horse?" 

now, we had just finished a reading unit on Edgar Allen Poe, the only unit in this rant that deserves to be un-sarcastically capitalized. as we all know, he is often pictured with a crow. a crow, which is known as a symbol of death, *especially* in the rural-religious south. 

so my turn comes up, and with as straight of a face as i can manage, say "a crow. because its a symbol of death." and then I start *laughing.* like a *fucking psycho.*

the whiplash these kids got from staring at me in fear, holy fuck will that make me laugh for the *rest of my goddamned life.*

and that, kids, was my first taste of manipulation. and here we are, 13 years later, and all I got was this shitty personality disorder.

I'd love to hear yours! what (hopefully but not required) non-traumatic event played a role in shaping you to be the person you are?