I'm slowly giving up on trying to do anything with my life... Basically grew up in a drug house most of my life. Brother was a heroine addict and caused drama damn near 24/7, did practically everything drug addicts normally do... Lie, steal, guilt trip, treat you like shit you name it. My moms bf at the time was an angry alcoholic and also caused drama she ended up leaving him though (thank fucking god). But then a few years later after we got kicked out of our house and moved into an apartment she ended up dating another one. And the next guy was also a meth head. after my brother got out of rehab shit started right back up again and it got worse.. Was verbally abused a lot growing up &amp; on rare occasions physically.. Got called practically every name in the book by my family &amp; they guilt tripped me a lot and on seperate occasions both my mom &amp; brother threatened to send me into an insane asylum when I've done nothing to them. I was just simply existing and minding my own business trying to stay away from the bs by locking myself in my room. All my life i was treated like an outcast never fit in anywhere barely have any friends &amp; whenever i try to include myself into any group i get shut out of it all the time. My depression got so bad i ended up dropping out of high school cause i couldn't focus. And all throughout that time the only person who really seemed to care whether i was actually okay or not was my dad. My dad tried to help me out by getting me out of this hell hole but my mom &amp; brother of course guilt tripped me a lot and talked me out of it idk why i listened to them... Everyday i regret it. I guess i was afraid of change. Ended up pushing my dad away cause i was just so stressed out over everything going on because of all the bs i was dealing with between school and worrying about if i had a home or not to go back to after school. A few years after i drop out i found out that my dad was dying, i wanted to visit him i really did but we lived in seperate states and neither of us had much money. I couldn't visit him as much as i wanted to cause i was more worried about my piece of shit brother turning our apartment into a drughouse while my mom and i visited him. He's been dead for 4 years now and the guilt i feel towards my dad hurts so fucking much to the point where i break down damn near every night. My depression &amp; guilt i feel towards my dad has been getting really bad this year &amp; i almost killed myself 3 times. I was a 24 year old jobless high school drop out shut in still living with mom and the guilt i feel towards my dad was driving me insane. After the first suicide attempt i realized how bad my depression was getting and ended up applying for a job at a restaurant my friend works at cause he was a supervisor &amp; his roommate was the hiring manager. Been working there for about 5 months now and I'm apparently doing really good there but it all just feels like petty compliments because i mostly been treated like shit my entire life. Been working so i can try to save up &amp; get my shit together so i can make up for lost time but it feels like i can't cause I'm the only one between the 3 of us that has an actual income between my job and ssi &amp; my "family" treats me like I'm there own personal pot of gold that they can suck money out of whenever they want or some bullshit. And lately my brother has been having really bad schizophrenic episodes and causes more drama. It's honestly getting to the point where i just don't care anymore.