How do you work through splitting on your partner? I'm starting to realize a lot of my outbursts and disregulation  come from me splitting on my partner. Basically I'll get overwhelmed with emotions, because i percieve them rejecting me or abandoning me, and then cry and shut down. When I try to talk about it with them in those moments I know I'm basically accusing them of hurting my feelings vs the reality of me getting triggered and projecting, and I'm not aware of it until I'm out of the split or they explain it to me.

I'm usually able to challenge and stop splitting but it gets out of hand every couple of months, and my partner in turn shuts down anf has a hard time processing it. The last couple times I kind of just exploded in tears and trying to explain why I feel so hurt, and as a result they got really upset and kind of shut down. We haven't really had any practical conversations about BPD or of splitting, and atm it kind of feels like they think I'm doing it purposely. Otherwise our relationship is great but I think when I split, and then we don't talk about it, it has been building resentment between us.

How do you bring it up for the first times? How have you worked through it with your partner? How do you basically handle the split with your partner when you live together and it's hard to just take space ect??how do you get over the shame and embarssement???