I am really struggling with this dilemma. I'm going through a particularly tough patch where I am awaiting therapy, quite isolated and stuck with my own thoughts (no- one wants that!).

I can't tell whether my behaviour is destructive, toxic and I'm overreacting / making things up ( such as her interpreting my partners tone as angry / negative). Or, is my partner (un)knowingly abusive and distorting my interpretation of how poor negative interactions go. The most common theme I get whenever I talk about her tone triggering me is "You always think everyone is attacking you". 

Her mood seems to change so quickly and seemingly without reason, so I can't tell if its her mood or me entering a sensitive / defensive mood. 

Any tips for navigating this?