Its a common trait for BPD patients to feel uncomfortable when being alone. I remember that once that subject surfaced in a DBT group session and everyone were agreeing on how that's very true, and thy were sharing their stories of times they had to be alone and feeling uneasy about it. The papers were saying that, the therapists were saying that, and when came my turn to talk, I faced looks in disbelief as I explained that being alone, is what I know to do best, and where I feel the most confortable and calm.

Is not like there aren't times when I feel the need for human companion, but that situation comes one a month as much. My only friend lives in the UK while I live in Chile, and I don't partake in social activities, not even on social media. The closest thing to social life I have is Reddit, and I don't even log in that often. In my case, solitude has become some sort of comfort zone at best and an addiction at worst. I feel that being alone is when I can be truly me. I listen to my favorite music, watch my favorite films, I read, I play the harmonica (poorly) I draw, I laugh, Heck, I even have very meaningful conversations with myself. Being alone is really something I can do well and enjoy. It comes to a point where I feel uncomfortable around other people, my own thoughts interests me more than whatever is happening around me, and after a few hours a month of social interaction I get tired and immediately go back to my peaceful solitude. 

Being that lonely plus having low self esteem,  catches the attention of many narcissists, something that is common for BPD patients, and said narcs usually threaten me with abandonment whenever they feel I'm not fulfilling my roles in the relationship according to their pathological high standards, but never, ever I feel that as a deadly punishment. If they say that they will leave me I said "ok" and when they remember me that I have no other people to support me on my break-up I say "I don't care"


Anyone feels similar?
 