I am not happy with my life, never was, and I'm not sure I will ever be happy with it. 


I wake up in the morning to do things I hate. I go back home just to eat, listen to constant family arguments and sleep. I don't have any friends and I can’t find any joy in hobbies. I can't stand the present and I'm afraid of the future. I've been disappointment to myself and my family. 


I'm just going on from one day to another, without any goal or hope, spending all of my free time distracting myself from my feelings. Every time I ask myself, "Why not end it?" I can't really come up with any other answer than not wanting to hurt my loved ones. I feel like I'm on a downwards slope, where I will just get worse until one day I finally die alone.