(TW: mentions suicide)

Is anyone else completely reliant and dependent on their fp, we had to break things off a few months ago we got back together after a (month and half) it was the worst month of my life i was so close to ending everything i was a wreck i was shaking constantly didn't eat didn't drink couldnt sleep throwing up constantly screaming crying drugs etc

i had nothing it's like he's my life the centre of my universe it's him or nothing i cannot fathom anything other than being w him i CANT live without him, we moved bakc in together into our own little place, im so scared to do something wrong to act out i can never mess this up i don't want to die i just want to live with him for the rest of my life n fulfil everything i can for him, there's no words to describe what i would do for him.

i'm obsessed it's scary i literally just nearly took my life and he's my saviour but people break up and i'm so scared of that, he's everything i could of ever asked for literally heaven sent. everything is awful unless i'm with him but i still act up we had a bad day and i was like i'm leaving and packed my stuff but i don't ever wanna and when i get mad at literally nothin and act out it's always "do u wanna be with me" n telling him how much of an awful person i am n then hysterically crying after telling him i'm sorry i'm so sorry 

i'm just stuck i don't know what to do he's the only thing keeping me here