I've been battling with my depression for the past couple of years. I'm 5 months off my meds and 3 months free of SH. 
It's 4am where I am now and I can't sleep. I'm sitting up thinking of everyone I've lost because I didn't get help sooner. I go through a cycle like this every month or two where I just dwell on the past and struggle to move on from it. 
I mostly think about a girl. She was great and was always there for me. I'm moving away and I always wanted to say goodbye to her before I left but it doesn't look likely. 
I guess I'm just looking for guidance or maybe some solidarity, to know other people go through the same thing from time to time. It's hard to get that into my head, I always feel like I'm the only one with the these kind of problems. Advice would be greatly appreciated.