I'm a 28 F officially diagnosed with BPD in 2013, at the age of 19 or 20. I was addicted to alcohol and other drugs for a few years but over 18 months sober now. Working the steps in 12 step programmes. Since February، I started seeing a guy who was also in recovery, he is 5 years clean. There was some initial infatuation but he soon ended up breadcrumbing me and only hitting me up very sporadically. Like, whenever he sees a nice picture of me on social media, he'll message me and try to make an appointment. For a quick hookup, nothing more, nothing less. 

Even though I intellectually know that there wasn't any hope, I was still holding onto hope that we'd be a couple some day. 

Then yesterday, after a lovely ballet and stretch class, a friend of mine sends me a screenshot of him on a dating profile. That felt like a stab in the back. But I'm doing relatively fine. I'm not going to relapse over that and I did my work properly today. I know I'll get over it. I can face anything sober now :)