i am falling deeper and deeper into the pit of this sickness amongst others and i don't think i'll beat it. i'm self sabotaging everything that matters with split after split and i cant go a day without hitting rock bottom then bouncing to cloud 9 or something completely illegible, the emotions all hurt so bad i debate just succumbing to them daily. let that be by relapsing, hurting myself or ending myself i am trapped within myself and i'm becoming someone i don't even recognize anymore. i just need to run my brain through a fucking dishwasher or something