Tomorrow I am going to break up with my girlfriend who has BPD. She is an incredible person and I love her but I can't be her girlfriend anymore. Her BPD is NOT the only thing that makes the relationship untenable in the long term but I urgently need to end it because this pattern of trying to meet her needs and failing consistently is disrupting every aspect of my life and we've only been dating for a few months. I have a lot of mental health issues myself and I'm an introvert to boot so needless to say things have been super rough.

I know that me breaking up with her is going to cause her a great deal of pain and that's unavoidable but I'd like to mitigate it as much as possible. Any suggestions on how to break up with her without completely fucking her up? I'm not looking for general breakup advice, I need BPD-specific advice from those who have lived it. It's not all about making it "easier" for her either- I want this experience to help her grow and maybe motivate her to finally go to DBT and take it seriously but I don't want her to go off the deep end. She already got two huge tattoos this week so I know she's feeling unstable and impulsive and I'm horrified at the thought of how that behavior could escalate after a breakup. Please help.