This is extremely exhausting, and it's almost like I'm just trying to make my anxiety worse on purpose. 

A few weeks back when I had a morning flight my alarm didn't go off that morning for some reason. Well, I woke up 45 minutes late but still made it. Didn't even have to rush.

But now I can't stop thinking "what if I hadn't woken up? what if I woke up not 45 minutes but 2 hours later?" 

This is what I do everytime something similar happens, especially with close-calls. And I can't stop it, I just can't seem to accept the fact that I'm okay and nothing bad happened. It's just constant what ifs and I'm so tired of me doing this to myself.