Im tired.
Im tired of never knowing of something is truly real or not. Im tired of having to reassess every friendship and relationship I have to make sure they are based in reality. Im tired of being disorganized. Im tired of not being taken seriously. Im tired of people looking like I’m going to kill them when I tell them I’m schizophrenic. Im tired of reaching out for help and not having a hand to hold onto. Im tired of having to reach my lowest for people to finally listen to me. Im tired of the thoughts and impulses of SH. Im tired of the brain fog I’m constantly fighting. Im tired of feeling like I’m living in a horror movie. I’m tired of having to make people feel validated for feeling bad for me. Im tired of everyone else thinking they have more of a right to be upset over this than I do. I’m tired of having to be the bigger person in every situation otherwise I’m just ‘struggling’. Im tired of being physically unable to do the things I need to do. I’m tired of my inconsistent sleep schedule. Im tired of having to rely on other people to help me get things done. Im tired of having to constantly be around people. I’m tired of hearing and seeing things that aren’t there. I’m tired of feeling like the problem. I’m tired of not being able to look tired around others. I’m tired of having to be the energetic preppy one all the time. I’m tired of being the emotional support animal of every group or organization I affiliate with. 

Im tired of not having real people to talk to.

I just want everything to be okay for one day.