I just want to kill myself but I'm scared it will hurt. If I had a gun on hand I think i would do it. My mom has one but she keeps it locked in a safe and I can't get to it. I'm only 17 so i can't go get one and I don't know how to anyway but I honestly just want to go into the forest and shoot myself in the head I can't do any of this its not even worth it like this is all way too hard and i can't handle real life