Just wanted to vent a little bit.. my partner and I both are on medication to treat bipolar and we've been together for five years (before I was diagnosed). Yesterday before he came home from work, I was looking at wedding/eloping shit in Niagara Falls... only for him later to tell me he doesn't want to get married (we were watching season 3 of Dexter - the part where he's talking about marriage).

We both agree that 1. We're on the fence with kids and 2. We're not in a place to even have the conversation.. (not where we want to be financially, career wise, etc)

I get that with bipolar it's hard to make lifelong decisions, but at what point do I give an ultimatum? I  never wanted to be that person.. 

Major side note: I love my boyfriend, but there are those thoughts that creep in about an old fling.. I cared for him alot but he never admitted to caring and took advantage of my kindness and desperation  to be with someone. I feel like I'm always willing to settle when I'm with (or talking) to someone - Almost like I think there is so much wrong me that I'm lucky that someone even wants to give me that attention. 

I want a house and I want marriage (in the future), and I don't want to compromise on that.