Yesterday I was over at my FPS house and he said something that kind of hurt my feelings so I cried and then it just kept escalating into a huge fight with screaming and I couldn't take it so I picked up a bottle of vodka and just started chugging it so I wouldn't have to deal with it.

I feel bad but today I'm so hungover and I don't even remember what I said so I'm pretending like I don't remember anything at all from last night and he's taking care of me today since Im in pain. But I really feel like a horrible person how can I always be so awful to him. When will I learn to control myself