I was in a LDR relationship with a person for 1.5 years and before 1 week I found out his name and pictures were all fake . Yes people will come here calling me stupid and everything but trust me I know that and also the situations and everything made me never doubt him because Indians parents and families are strict and he was in a joint family stuck at home for 12 months strict parents and everything idk i just believed it all and it was great until 2 months back he said he doesn't love me and wants to end for no reason and we'll be friends I never understood anything and I was emotionally and mentally devasted now I found out he lied everyday and when I confronted he accepted and was behaving like he doesn't care all rude and with attitude and that broke me so bad I can't explain . Idk how to be fine again and forget things .

It might sound weird but I'm in love with the other guy two because for 1.5 years I thought I was in love with him I mean yes looks aren't important and everything but I thought the guy in the picture is the one I love and who is my partner so I imagined him in everything and for everything everyday , the person I would talk to whatever he said I imagined the face and actions and it's all over my heart and head and I can't forget it I'm not able to , I found his real name and account and have been stalking him all day and all night and I feel so bad now so much .

I want you people to know I'm wanting to get out of this situation I do real bad and I'm really trying but my anxiety gets so bad that I can't explain sometimes I can't breathe I get so miserable because I've already been cheated badly before and idk why again and this is even worse now even worse I don't want to be in this state I don't want to and idk I'm trying everything but nothing and no one helps nothing no vidoes no talking to friends people nothing helps and I'm just in the worst place ever.

I am hating myself I have been since last 3 years after I got out of a very bad relationship I was treated very bad and lost all my confidence and started to feel like I can do nothing I look worst and I will never get anyone to love me or I'm just not good enough for anyone or anything and before that I was famous people loved me and I was just always very confident but that's such a long time ago and I don't even remember it anymore then this happens and from 6 months I hate myself I do I hate myself so much that I look worst I felt worst my family isn't happy with me I have lost my interest in everything I lost my career I'm not working have no work I have health issues now gained weight and so much issues no confidence nothing and not doing anything and I feel so ugly so much I can't explain and from one week this feeling is so bad I hate myself so much so so much that I wanna kill myself I wanna just kill myself . Everything about me makes me wanna kill myself. I feel terrible being alive.

I tired to pretend to be cool and that I'm fine but I'm not when I tried to speak to people they say things like relax it'll be fine but it isn't nothing is helping nothing is helping I can't take this anymore I can't I just can't