 So I'm in a really deep hole at the moment. I've come back into the country since living abroad to find my support network is no longer available to me. I don't have any friends at the moment and really struggling to meet anyone.

My mental health has been rapidly declining since getting back. I'm at a point where 70% of the time I'm extremely depressed. The other 15% of the time I'm in deep suicidal spirals where everyone I have ever known hates me, nobody cares about me etc. I act accordingly by lashing out obviously. I'm not violent but lately these have gotten to the point where I've caused arguments and not just between me and people, I've brought my whole house down... Again this isn't behaviour anyone has ever seen from me before.

My last 15% is spent in borderline euphoric happiness (it feels like MDMA lite - genuinely like I've taken something with all the effects. Colours like brighter, sensations feel better, everything. But I find myself extremely difficult to control in this state and become unaware of any potential consequences that I'm compelled to do. This behaviour people are more familiar with but I've always known the time and the place and now I just don't and the euphoria is new.

I have a lot of trouble snapping out of either of these states and they're both extremely dangerous states of mind. I don't even recognise I was doing it until afterwards sometimes. Does anyone have any coping methods I can do to both, prevent these states of mind and how to quickly recognise and return to baseline when I'm in them (As I work 13 hour days so often these are at work in a noisy factory where sitting down meditation isn't an option).

Notes:I'm in therapy, but due to the public sector being overwhelmed playing catch up from covid, I sometimes go 3 weeks without contact so reliance isn't an option. I'm 8 months clear from drugs and practice meditation. Currently seeking new meds as my previous ones had unwanted side effects.