* I like creating posts with bullets as it helps organize my thoughts.
* **-------Short** **story**:-----------
   * Broke up after a very flowering 6-year relationship.
      * heavy burnout from work and living environment. (this stuff is no joke folks)
      * life circumstances forced us to live separately countries apart.
      * money is short
      * daily long arguments
   * Asked S.O. for a break, but she had major concerns considering it to be a breakup. 
   * She was fully fully invested in saving the relationship. Said she would wait 2 years if she needed to. Didn't want to give up bc I meant a lot to her.
   * couple months in got broken up and split black. Absolutely no warning, no explanation nothing. From a 6-year relationship.
   * **------end of story-------**  


&amp;#x200B;

* It's been a year since then
   * decided to reach out a year later to give her space as I literally wrestle with my thoughts on reasons/closure.
   * Couldn't bear it any longer.
   * Was met with hostility and said she wasn't cutting me out before but am now.
   * didn't give me closure in fear id argue again
* It's been another 7 months since reaching out. 
* Only recently pieced things together from ALOTT of retrospection that she might have been someone with BPD. 
* It all makes sense now. Everything is suddenly bearable. I've found my peace as i wasn't given the mercy of closure. At the cost of obtaining hope.
   * Taking therapy to deal with my own mental health issues.
   * Also studying a lot in regard to how to be a supportive partner for those with BPD. 
* It hurt a lot from what she did with silent treatment for almost 2 years. But I see now that its attributed to something out of what she may have been aware of herself.
* I'm a patient fella to a fault. So I'm ready to haul booty for the long run and can as I have been already like a helpless fool in love. But I'm not sure if I should reach out to her or not. I've been thinking of approaching her in a combination of:
   * being validating of how she felt
      * The way that she reacted and responded in her impulsivities were understandable given the circumstance
   * Throwing in an apology in here somewhere
   * That the way I was reacting wasn't very supportive of her struggles
   * and letting her know i'm not going to give up on her and that when she's satisfied with her space that she's more than welcome to come speak to me again. 
   * Just all around supportive of the positives and not validating of the negatives.
* Would this cause her to hate me more? Regardless of all the helpful things I could say? Should I truly just not say anything until eventually she reaches out? Is there something else I could say? Or am I truly just a fool who has an unfortunate unwavering sense of hope. I want to fight for her, but I also dont want to hurt her more either. Also I wont regret "wasting" this time waiting if in the end its in vain. I know shes not dating anyone cause she fears her BPD will cause chaos again and is currently isolating from everyone (likely the reason from ditching me in the first place).