Husband was laid off a week ago and I been going wild! Yesterday he went to work on his car and he talks to the neighbors (we live in a small apartment complex) that led to him drinking with them. I was in the apartment taking care of my son (he is 10 months as of yesterday). He was gone for hours and I was going crazy. He then came back and said he would be back in a little (he took like 2 hours). That triggered me, I hate waiting like an idiot. He came back I went into fuck you mode, basically ignoring him and pushing him off when he tried to kiss me. He already knows how I am and my moods. In that moment I tell him to leave me alone and if he doesn't I start getting physical. I often catch myself in this phase and tell him "why do you like to push my buttons!?" I start accusing him of wanting other women (theres a neighbor that talks to him all super friendly and she ignores me)  and ask him why is he with me. I am a terrible person I tell him. He says it's all in my head and that he loves me and will never let me go and always take care of me until the day he dies. I then start to realize that I do make scenarios in my head and assumptions that make me get angry and hurt. Even realizing this I still do it and even I get on my own nerves. I am very clingy with him. I don't have friends so I am always waiting for him to come home. I wanna stop splitting on him for stupid reasons that are all in my head. I have been having mini mental breakdowns and it's been exhausting along with the stress of this whole pandemic. 

If you read all this, thank you for letting me vent.