I had a psychosis in the fall and it was a bad episode. I've been slowly looking through conversations and I talked badly about my best/only friend who has bpd too.

To give an example of where my mind was, At one point during my episode I was very delusional and thought they were evil spirited because they have 6 letters in their name. 

I feel so horrible and guilty. Time has gone by and I haven't told them. It's just hard because I can't even explain why I said the things I did. 

I don't feel like I deserve to be their friend at all

What's the best way I can go about this? 

I was thinking of sitting them down and just letting them read through the messages .. I just don't know how to explain.