My symptoms have reduced drastically since i started therapy and medications.

But damn its so so tough to still feel like I belong.

I meet people, but instead of trying to be friends (cuz I literally don't have a single friend)...all I can think of are ways to impress them.

The opposite gender must fall in love with me and the same gender should be crazy jealous.

Anything less than that, it feels like I wasted my time.

I say what I know they want me to say, I pretend to care. Hell, I even dress up to make sure they like me. Doesn't matter of its an outfit I like personally... But then again, I don't know what I like or care about either!! 

Why can't I just relax, breathe easy and just have a good time??!!! 

I know it's the Bpd but sometimes it makes me feel so helpless and wrong... GUILTY even for being such a manipulator! 