You can’t help your trauma. No one would ever ask for this illness. You can’t help your thoughts, your emotions, your thought processes. You can’t help feeling like you deserve to be lonely and alone- and yet still crave to be loved. 

I love you. I see you. I see how hard you try every day. I see you through your short comings, your outbursts, your splitting that throws you through a loop. 

And I love you. 

I’ve worked on my trauma for years. I’ll never understand your personality disorder, or how it feels to be in your brain. But I can support you while you manage your symptoms and try to be your best self. Because I love you. Because you deserve love, always. Even when you’re not perfect. The love you give me, is exactly what I need- even when it’s a little wonky. I I see you. And not you “despite your disorder”. You, completely and wholly, which includes your BPD. 

I hope to be here with you while you learn to heal. I hope that through my own healing, without fixing you myself, you can learn through me and the tools I have that you may not. I learn from you daily, you teach me skills I don’t have. Both of us, just by being, learn from each other effortlessly. Your capacity for emotion and empathy is something I locked away a long time ago. You bring that out of me. I show you logic, and you show me emotion. 

I see your self awareness, I watch your struggle, I let you fall. But I will build you a ladder and hope you climb. We help each other this way. We are each other’s yin/yang. 

I watch you grow with this relationship, every day, even on a bad day. I stand firm in my boundaries, in my persona. When you push, I will bend, but I won’t break. We’ll see this through together, because I love you, and you deserve love in all forms. 

I love that you can see yourself for your flaws and strengths. I love watching your mind work and tinker with new emotional/ logical concepts I may gently throw your way. I love encouraging the scared, hurt side of you to come to light and receive love. You aren’t a project, I don’t want to fix you. But I want to love you- and I recognize the parts of you that unconditional love will help heal. 

You are so fucking special. I can’t wait until you see it, too. 


(And idc how many times your brain pretends you hate me. I’ll be here with the snacks and Netflix when you’re ready)