I was manic depressive when I was in my teens and I did some terrible things and hurt some family members. I wasn’t in my right mind because I was out of it. When I was married I was extremely abused by my ex and his family constantly for years and it caused me to not be a great mother. I can’t forget or forgive myself and I don’t want to speak about it to the therapist. It’s like a black cloud on my shoulder. I was bullied in middle school and was terrorized by two girls. It has affected me and when I remember the past it pulls me down and makes me hate myself .