So I have this group of friends from college, at first I really really really loved them, would enjoy going out with them, joking around and also seeking advice in them and talking about serious matters.

I started to see life from a different perspective about a year after meeting them, because of new people in my life and stuff, and my personality changed quite a lot, as well as the things I believe in, care about and fight for.

I noticed we didn’t have much in common, they are simple girls, religious and gossip-y. And I’m quite the opposite, so I started to think about our friendship and what it really meant for me... and it doesn’t. 

So every time they open their mouths I just get so annoyed and have an internal fight with myself because I wanna scream at them and say a lot of things, but I also have social anxiety so it’s kinda hard, so I keep it all to my very self. I eye roll at everything they say, I don’t even go out with them anymore and I don’t trust them.

So a few weeks ago one of them was talking about this topic that’s really close to my heart, so I snapped (it was thru text so way easier for me) and I started to rant and babble about the situation and it got kinda spicy. I stopped after a few minutes because I knew it was getting nowhere and everyone was reading it because it was on the group chat. 

I was literally shaking thru the whole fight and still moments later. So from that day on I haven’t talked in the group chat at all, I muted it and haven’t seen any messages. I chose to distance myself because I don’t know what they think about me and Idk I’m just very embarrassed now. And tbh, I don’t think I will ever talk to them again as a whole, I didn’t even consider them my friends anymore so what difference does it make. I’m even seeing it as the perfect excuse to end the friendship once and for all.

My graduation is in December and my plan was to officially end things after that, so I don’t have to see them on campus and it being awkward. But I will start now, I will distance myself so much until me being not their friend anymore is a natural result from that, and then after graduation I will leave the group chat.

I dunno if this makes sense for anyone, but that’s my plan so far and I really do not like them anymore, we have absolutely nothing in common and I even hate some of them, like so much. So there’s no point in keeping the friendship, I’d much rather be at peace and not having to deal with people I don’t want in my life. I also have a few friends that I ADORE and they completely understand me and support me and we do have a lot in common and I actively seek them to hang out or just talk, and they do too, so it’s now like I’d be “alone”, Iv never had a long term life long friendship so this isn’t new to me, but it had never been a well thought out choice, it just kinda happened. 

Tl;dr - My friends from college whom I loved at first are super annoying to me now and I want to end the friendship, which will do eventually by distancing myself, which I’m already doing because I got in a fight with one of them. This will probably bring me peace because I don’t need people I don’t like in my life. So I hope I’m making the right choice.