
I’m not sure if I have BPD but I know I have adhd, anxiety, depression. I had narcissistic parents. Sometimes I relate to BPD but idt I have it. I’m too shy to act as if I have adhd even if I did have it. Idk I’m an eneagram 9 and so everything is a little scary to me

But I am always focused on self growth and being compassionate towards others. I’m really motivated in learning to monitor my thoughts and make sure I’m thinking healthy thoughts. I try making sure I’m using a healthy mind set and thinking though situations as they come. So I’m trying to feel and accept my feelings and be rational about them- so if I start getting worried a friend doesn’t like me usually I’d naturally start thinking about their negative qualities. But I catch myself and think about how I’m just sad that they possibly don’t like me and not mad at anything they did.

Basically I was on the tik tok app and I saw this girl posted a video about how she played a guy and I saw a video about BPD favorite person. My mindset almost switched. I started thinking about how I grew up with toxic parents and how I wanna act toxic towards this guy who played with my feelings. I feel like I start wanting to act and think like an un healthy person with toxic parents and laugh at my trauma. It’s like the opposite of the other part of myself and it switches so easily

It’s almost like switching into a toxic mindset and idk if it’s my adhd but it’s like I switch the way I imagine myself treating people and my thoughts