It's very difficult to explain but I wanted to try it. There is a blur, a cover over on my daily life. I think I am an anxious person, but this is starting to go to absurd and scary places. Sometimes it feels like my thoughts and decisions don't belong to me, when that feeling comes I just sit back and try to redefine everything and fix reality  but this ridiculous method just messes things up even more.I am constantly caught in thought loops, I find myself constantly making imaginary fictions as if I want to satisfy a deep lack. Mostly I realize that I am disconnected from reality, but today I felt something very different. All of a sudden my whole life felt unreal and it was horrible.I guess now I have to do something about this.this is the first time I felt the need to express this to someone other than myself