I hate having a fucked up head. I only remember to take my meds like every other day. My highs and lows are shit. I’m a stay at home mom so it’s mostly lows which means I’m in bed a lot of the time. Which makes me gain weight. Which makes me even more depressed and hating myself and when I do get the motivation to try to lose weight I go fucking crazy and over board with it and basically starve myself until I’m back at my lows again. I can’t sleep. And the sleep meds I was given literally make my sleep for a good 15-18 hours so I can’t take those!!!! My anger is so quick and intense over the smallest things that I just feel like the worst human alive. My husband works and we can’t afford me to work because I would just be paying for child care so I’m in school but I can’t focus on that either. Laundry piles up. I always feel like he’s going to resent me eventually or stop being attracted to me and find someone else who isn’t so fucked up. Sorry I just needed to rant to people who might understand my every day rollercoaster.