All of my relationships have an expiration date. After a year or two, my friends will ignore texts, not return calls, and drop plans without anything to cause this. Even “best friends”, FPs, anyone whose company I actually enjoy and value. I’ll think back but never discover a reason why these random splits happen. No fights, no words that could even be interpreted as insulting or malicious; people just leave.

I’ve tried every personality and every appearance, but no one seems to stay. This year I finally became comfortable with myself, and have begun to recover my sense of identity. I figured others could see through whatever act I put on and it drove people away. But nothing’s changed. I’m comfortable being by myself but it's draining. I’m an extrovert at heart, I need people.

Obviously, if this is a pattern the issue HAS to be me, but how can I improve when I have no idea what I’m doing wrong? I have a decent grip on my (outward) symptoms. I’m not clingy or possessive. I don’t overshare. In fact, I’ve been told I’m an entertaining and enjoyable person to be around. Still, It’s like once I’m out of someone’s sight, I’ve disappeared. I can and have gone weeks and months at a time without a message unless I’m the first to initiate. The few people who keep constant contact with me are typically codependent and draining to be around, but I still find myself craving my attention. It’s better than no one.

This is mostly just a vent, but if anyone has advice, an idea of where to start introspection or anything, I’d appreciate it.