I am 20F and have discovered my BPD this year. While it has been relieving to finally understand why I am the way I am, I'm also terrified for my future. It's so hard to control my emotions and I haven't really been met with the major stressors of life yet. I dont know how I will cope with the stress of having a job, finances and having a family etc. - I feel like I will only get worse. I'm trying so hard to work on myself (what are peoples' experiences with meditation?) but it's daunting knowing that this is something I have to battle my whole life. It's so exhausting and I'm terrified that my life is going to be a complete mess full of sadness and self-destruction. 

Ever since I was a child I've known that I want children and it's been hard coming to terms with the fact that I may never be ready. Even now I want to rip my hair out if a single utensil is put in the wrong place so it seems unhopeful that I'd ever be in a good enough place to have a child without scarring them. My dad most definitely has BPD and growing up with him was a terrifying nightmare; I could never have a child knowing that they'd have to deal with the thing that has caused me so much pain. 

I guess my question is how do you cope with adult life? Especially those of you who have children. What methods do you use to cope, and do things ever get less daunting? I'm terrified of living a miserable life.