We had been dating 3 months. we used to be friends years ago but cut ties and he came back saying he loved me and cared for me. i was in a rocky marriage and we were all in a polyamorous relationship together but my fp wanted monogamy and I wanted to do anything I could to be with him so I got a divorce. my husband left to go to the UK last monday. then the day after my fp breaks up with me. he sat there and promised to take care of me. that he wanted a future with me. we talked about kids. a future house. future pets. he told me how happy he was. then suddenly he tells me i'm six years older and he doesn't like that or that i vape or consume cannabis. he says i'm too emotional and he's too logical. that we don't mesh. that he's no longer happy. he watched me give up everything and he's just completely fine. he gets to live with mommy and daddy while they pay his tuition and take care of him but i can't even go to therapy now because my insurance was through my husband and he's gone. i've lost everything and he tells me to just quit being sad. his grandma died and now his mom is dying and he just turned into this emotionless asshole over night and I just don't understand. I had to pry it out of him that his mom was dying and he yelled at me for having him tell me. he doesn't even feel like he can talk to me and i just feel so fucked up. my mom told me to just ignore him but it hurts knowing if i do that it's not even going to matter. he won't notice i'm gone. he doesn't care. he tells me i'm being hormonal rn and it's just so shitty. i miss the person I fell in love with and I just feel like I was lied to for months. i hate how i treated my husband. i hate how my husband left so soon because he thought my relationship would get better and after everything he just breaks up with me the moment he's gone. i've never been so hurt. i hate myself. i hate my decisions. I hate how I felt addicted to this person more than any drug and I just feel so abandoned . i try so hard to be better and I feel like I've just failed and allowed this narcissist to have power over me. I'm alone now. I have to work everyday with this hole in my chest and I can't ever imagine even falling for someone again. i fight suicidal thoughts every night. I cry knowing he's not going to be there anymore. I cry over how I treated my ex husband and how I'll never see him again. Maybe I just deserve this for my actions. I just wanted to be happy.