I'm starting a new job soon. I know I'm going to fail at that job. I'm socially anxious person, don't have hobbies, I can pretend for one hour in interviews that I'm capable person, but everyday in Office, I get exposed. Other people don't like to be around me.

I will lose this job, then have to go back to my third world country (which is close to being in hyperinflation). My parents and brother sister are depending on my salary. I will be a failure.

What I'm visualizing everyday is the fact I quit my completely remote stable job, chose this new job, I will lose this job and then when I get no visa, I'll jump in front of a train or eat poison in my room.

I'm just accepting everyday my circumstances and the sins I've committed throughout, that the end is very close