A couple weeks ago I lost 90% of friends because I'm a bad person and one of my oldest friends called me a bad friend and blocked me. Before all this my delusions would tell me constantly about how much of a bad person I am and it was so intense. I would think I'm the worst person ever who deserved the worst. I tried so hard to be a good person and I was constantly paranoid about the things I was saying and doing in case they came across the wrong way. Only now to find out that it was all for nothing. 

I want to get better but I don't know how because what I thought was good was actually bad.