10 months ago I met this guy online from Florida (I'm in Canada) and we hit it off almost right away. He's one of the sweetest people I've ever met, constantly generous to everyone and says nice things, also doesn't constantly talk about sex like some guys. Bonus is in 10 months he hasn't done anything to provoke my bpd splitting "black"(all past relationships had me doing that fairly early), just some of the abandonment stress when he had to be away.

Almost right away he told me he didn't want another long distance relationship(ldr). I understand that but I'm finally ready financially etc to make a long distance a short distance one. I told him that of course. Also hoped he'd come around with patience and time. 

His sweet talking and gaming with me would drive my warm-fuzzy warm feelings wild... Eventually I would gather some courage to say something flirty etc. And he would remind me of not wanting a ldr. This hurt of course but I'd recover and then repeat the cycle of feelings. He did hint somewhat recently about some feelings though don't know how strong.

Last night I told him about wanting to meet in real life but not until he was comfortable and once again the no ldr thing... feels like this was the last straw and I don't think I can handle this anymore. I told him I would give him space and why. He hasn't said anything but I'm hurting, feeling destroyed inside. He was basically my lifeline for the past 10 months even though I feel stupid for letting it go on for so long (the warm fuzzies are addicting).

Thanks for reading...