I was doing so well being able to control whenever I dissociated and then last night I couldn't. I can usually tell when I'm dissociating I begin to feel like im losing my grip on reality and like I'm drifting to another side my head and I'm looking at myself do things but I have no control of what I say or what I do. 

Last night I couldnt bring myself back to reality and I told a person a hold very close to my heart that I love him and that becuase of it i get psychosomatic pain becuase I feel like I lost him.

Now today in the morning all I feel is like hurting myself and I dont understand why my emotions reach this level. I know i didnt do anything wrong I just told the truth and now all I can think of is hurting myself.