It’s a sign of the times. No really, I’ve always struggled with depression. But this pregnancy has been a whole new level of darkness. I am past the point of legal abortion(in every state, not just the ones who allow it now)[sidenote: fuck this country and all the fuckers who stand for fetus lives over living breathing women]. I felt so full of love and joy with the first one. This one is just so different &amp; mentally difficult. I haven’t given a care in the world to know anything, specially gender. People ask what we’re having and I just say “a human hopefully”. I’m breaking my spouses heart by being so wishy washy with the whole thing. I wanted this child at first (hence why I didn’t have an abortion in time) and now I just feel meh. I don’t even want to live in this f’ed up reality/dimension myself. “Give birth, then end it?” My mind is constantly asking my heart. I need help I guess. Thanks for coming to my depressing af Ted talk.