When i was 8 my dad lost his job and he left my family as i was a blue baby my mom got a mental disease called delusional disorder it makes her brain think random situations that are not real my dad left cause she always use to scream at him and shit like that. In 2016 my dads job contract ended and we had to move from Pickering to Scarborough but into a shitty apartment at that time it was a lot for me to take as i had a lot of friends but my say didn't matter. When i went to this new school i was a very unknown type person just went to school for school didn't have much friends i made one friend she was a girl from grade 4 to grade 6 were were really good friends but i fuck up really badly as a kid i was really dumb and retarded i always did stupid things never thinking about how the other person feels and I dwell on that pain everyday thinking about how much i fucked up she was one of my best friends never forgot her we use to play ROBLOX but i ended up hacking her ROBLOX account ik that doesn't sound serious but it was cause i did it another 5 or 6 times i think until once i forgot the password to the account she told her parents and i got in a lot of trouble from the teachers too in those moments i never understood how bad it was i also made a lot of cringey dumb lies i don't even wanna think about we ended up never talking to each other again after grade 6.  the worst part was i actually did have a crush on her and i never admitted it to anyone cause i was a bitch💀💀 i really liked her for all those years and now i just think about it every day i think about if i really didn't mess up so much we probably still would've been friends to this day adding on to those 3 years my family put me through a lot for traumatic experiences in my life as my brother had a lot of anger issues and now i have PTSD at 15 always getting mad easily and staying distant with my family I've always wanted to take my own life a few times just cause of how much stress i feel thinking about the past my family also has been going through a lot of financial issues the past 4-5 years which made me feel sad cause i know my dad is trying alot and its hurts me to see him doing so much at such a old age other than family i messed up with that one girl so much and now it hurts everyday i pray that she comes back wit a hi or something lmao maybe it'll happen maybe it wont probably but yeah

now its grade 10 and im 15 my brother still has those anger issues but im able to control my emotions i don't cry like a baby bitch anymore so that's good but i do feel the pain inside every time