So, this Wednesday i went to a psychologist for the first time in a long while...i had so many expectations, i just wanted to be helped and be given a right direction to follow. My mind is so chaotic and i just want to be cured from this mess. 

Well, i just sat in her office and started talking about simply everything, i opened up to her and even told her about some things that are difficult for me to talk about, like self-harm, bpd diagnosis, ocd diagnosis, anorexia, bulimia, my father's crack addiction, literally EVERYTHING. And she didn't say a thing.

 She just looked at my face with a blank expression and told me "Oh, i get it, but have you tried to control your emotions tho?" like WHAT? I felt so stupid. She just said that quarantine makes us feel worse, and that i should exercise more to keep my mind busy. I get it that she's a relatively new professional, but she didn't even try to help me or point things out. I don't think she was ready to deal with borderline, but i just feel so hopeless for trying to reach for help and receiving nothing in return. I feel like i can't be helped.