From the little things, like saying a passive aggressive "Sure, go ahead. Do whatever you want!!" if I asked my mother to do something she didn't like. To my mother's constant saying that when she dies, I'm going to regret everything I "did to her". I am not even 18 yet, I can't understand what I could've done to her. 

My grandmother says similar things like "I'm gonna haunt you as a ghost when I die because you don't visit me". My mother holds things over my head, I snuck out for a night with a friend when I was 14 and she will never stop holding it over my head, telling me it was the worst night of her life, how could I be so bad to her etc. 

I think this has affected the way I treat my relationships, when I am hurt I blame my partner emphatically and try to make them feel bad, honestly. I feel so bad right now after an argument with my partner. I want to fix things but there's a part of me that's splitting and telling me I don't *want* to fix anything, I just want to break up.