I have stretch marks on my shoulder, my legs have spots on it. My boobs look prepubescent and I have no ass. Because of a childhood fall I have a permanent scar on my eyebrow, so both my eyebrows look nothing alike, which makes my entire face look asymmetrical. I basically am a freak show. I can make myself look decent with eyebrow makeup and proper clothes on. But I know the minute someone sees me without these, they’ll run. 

So I’ve been with this guy for six years. He’s not a bad person. He’s one of the most generous, kindest people I’ve seen, to his friends. You could call him at 4am and he’d be there. 

But he doesn’t like me having other friends. He gets pissed off and calls me slut if I talk to a guy friend. He recently called me names because I wished a guy friend on his birthday by posting a picture on Instagram. He gets offended at jokes so I constantly have to walk on egg shells around him. He told me I don’t deserve a gift on my birthday and then showed up late, empty handed. 

He recently told me he wanted to marry me and we had a lovely night. Then today I said “bye loser” as a joke on the phone and he called me names and blocked me everywhere and said he’d never ruin his life by marrying a girl like me. 

I basically feel worthless and unlovable. I feel like if he leaves me I will be alone for the rest of my life. I can’t stop crying.