I feel anxious constantly. There quite literally isn’t a time of day where I’m not anxious. 

I have to manually breathe all the time because I freak the fuck out when I start breathing automatically again. I fear that I’m gonna forget how to breathe and forget how to swallow my saliva. This ruins my sleep because I wake up mid panic as soon as I get close to sleep because I’m convinced that I’m going to die. 

When I have a panic attack, I feel like my throat is gonna swell or that I’m gonna swallow my tongue and the anxiety is so intense that it stops me in my track and freezes my blood. I feel like a parasite trying to use a human body for the first time. I bite my cheek and my tongue to remind myself it’s still there

I feel so uncomfortable in my body and I feel so anxious all the time. I can never breathe right.

Sometimes I fear that I’m going crazy. I fear that I’m going to drop dead any second now. I don’t do anything automatically anymore, I breathe manually, I swallow saliva manually, I blink manually when things are really bad. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I don’t know how to stop it