So I have suffered with BPD and have known about it for quite a while now. Symptoms started in my teens and I'm now 32.
End of 2018 / start of 2019 I got close to someone who themselves suffered with social anxiety / depression. We hit it off straight away (please note I find it easy to make friends as I feel I suffer quite badly with an identity issue and I often adapt my personality based on who I'm socialising with.. people have seen it as "fake" in the past).. anyway.. said friend started relying on me quite a lot emotionally. I was the person they turned to in times of need and was there first point of call and tbf I would contact them most days and pretty much everyday would be chatting on whatsapp. Also note: I am a married straight female and this friend is male and I was aware of the fact they liked me.. (confession on my part - I quite liked knowing they liked me as I'm constantly looking for validation that I'm desirable despite the fact I'm happily married to a wonderful man!) My husband was fully aware of the situation and even knew this guy had feelings but he also could see he just needed a friend to talk to. This friend suffers from anxiety and spends literal days not leaving his room at his parents house. He is not the healthiest person in terms of diet and exercise, won't learn to drive, save his money, consider therapy or even use public transport, let alone go out for a walk. I feel like he comes at me with trivial problems a lot - even though he is fully aware of stuff going on in my life ( I am seeing a therapist for abuse I received as a teenager..) I  also suffer quite badly with BPD and have a hard time keeping it together sometimes. I'm doing my best to better myself - trying to work part time, raise my young child as best I can, going to therapy weekly and exercise. I'm not saying by any means I've got it worse than him - I just had to make some tough decisions to ensure my life got better.. I didn't want to play the victim anymore and a lot of my problems were because of my own wrong doing. So some of the problem in this may be is that I have little sympathy. He is very privileged in his situation and has all these options available to him to better himself. His first step would be to seek PROPER professional help but he won't do this and scoffs when I suggest therapy even though he'll spend literally hundreds of dollars on technology.. He is suffering but won't listen to advice from me and it's grinding me down as he keeps going on about how bad his life is. I find myself disassociating when I'm with him more and more and making mean comments or playing the devil's advocate to get a rise out of him cuz honestly I feel like screaming at him. He won't help himself so how can he expect me to right all his wrongs especially when I'm struggling with my own health. That's another thing - whenever I try to talk about my therapy sessions or get deep about my past - he shuts down and won't talk and says things like "this is triggering" even though I know full well he hasn't experienced abuse in his life. Thankfully I have my husband who is my FP and I can talk to but it would be nice for this friendship to be a 2 way street. I don't know what to do. I realise this is a bit ranty and maybe I needed that but any advice is also welcomed!!! 😍