TW Throwing Up (better safe than sorry)








I can't sleep, I was choking on my own vomit, I had to force myself to throw up. I couldn't breathe. There was red. My nose burns. I can't breathe. He's going to leave and I'm going to be alone. He is the only one that calms me down. Our dog is going with him. 
My dad is only letting me stay after we lost the apartment. I'm scared to be here. This is where dad yells a lot. I cam already hear him yelling at me and he's not even here. I can't wake up my bf to help me calm because he has to leave early and drive 13 hours. 
I can't do this. I don't have anymore medicine. I don't have any friends. I'm going to be by myself all day every day. 
We don't know how long he's going to be gone for. I feel like I wasted all our time and my time with him right now. 
What am I doing? I should be holding him. Not panic posting. 
I want him to stay. I can't. I can't. 
Help. I don't know.