I've been going for therapy for quite sometime now and I really thought I was ready for the stress and for the "real world" but I'm not. Doing my masters is proving to be extremely hard for me. When I talk to other people they make it sound so easy- like it's just a couple of chapters. It's just a quiz..... No it's not. It's life or death. I either learn it in one go or I don't. It's got the potential of changing my life for better or worse. It's important, it's gonna help me someday in the real world and it's too big a responsibility to just read it. How do people just sit and do stuff. Like don't you need to set the room right, have all your material around you and minimise distraction. Create the perfect plan and then execute it. Couldn't any moment in our lives be the one that defines us for the rest of it, don't we need to walk on egg shells or something? How do people pretend like things are easy and just go around acting on thoughts and getting work done. 

I'm so tired of being the odd one. The one who thinks herself into overthinking and gets nothing done. I'm tired of being pulled back from leading the so called normal life. I want to be like others. I don't want to spend my day in bed due to an emotion. I don't want this emotion to determine the kind of life I deserve to live. I want to break free from these chains and for once be able to study without feeling like the world rests on my shoulders.


Thank you for listening.