I've been friend with T since 14. He was living in my village and for few years we were hanging out together almost every day. He knew everything about me, I knew everything about him. We weren't best friends, he wasn't my favourite person, but that one true friend. He pissed me off so much, because he was always that moral preacher. And it was good for me, because he didn't say anything until it was too bad. Then he talked.

I met him on street today and in the evening, he came into my parents house to catch up on old things. He's exactly what I thought he will be. He has successful life. Not money wise, but life wise. And I'm tremendously happy for him. 

But now...I cannot stop thinking about what mistakes I've made, that we lost touch. If it was my fault, or if it was fault of my exfriend, ex boyfriend...I need to go to sleep, but I can't. My mind is racing and I'm sad, that I lost great friend. And I think that it should happen.

In the end I'm so grateful and thankful for him. He was the only one, who truly listened and told me that I'm not right, that the other person was and so on. He was giving me moral hindsight and thanks to him I could realize, how badly I was behaving. But he didn't left. He never left. I convinced m,self that he hate me and resented him.

I think that we catched up good and that we will meet each other again. He got along with my husband (no doubt, they are really similar) and told me, that he will make sure to go to city where I live to see us and that he has reason to visit that city finally.

Catching up with old friends is hard...why? Because about almost all of them I'm thinking, that they hate me, even if it's not true. And it hurts to much to see, that I could speak with them all the time.

Should I ask him next time about one situation, that convinced me that he hate me? Or should I let it go? It happened like 8 years ago.