I recently found this reddit which is helping a lot with making me feel not so alone with my feelings but it’s making me extremely depressed. I’ve been avoiding my feelings for months and haven’t met w my therapist since September. I just reached out to a new one that specializes in bpd but every minute I feel like i’m getting worse. I can’t explain anything to my friends bc i think they would think differently of me or pity me which is absolutely not what I want. College is making my life so miserable but i only realize it when i have to pick up the pieces. I wish i could just go somewhere for a little while and get better and then come back to my life and figure everything out. Everything’s just getting so difficult and i won’t let myself tell anyone bc i feel like a burden. I didn’t even explain 1% of what is going on to my mom but even when I just mention i’m in a funk of some type and she tries to make me feel better by saying she loves me, I feel so guilty. I don’t wanna make her worry about me when she has things going on in her life too like everyone does. Now that i think of it the only person I feel comfortable talking to is a therapist and even then I can’t tell them everything bc i think they would hospitalize me. I’m feeling myself get deeper and deeper into sadness and emptiness and i’m scared. I hate feeling like this but I can’t stop thinking so negatively. I know this is a lot but if anyone has any recommendations to help me pull myself out of this i would really appreciate it.