Its almost midnight for me, and i cannot sleep. today was a horrible day.
i felt sick and close to passing out. it was getting worse and worse every minute. i was panicking. my heartbeat and blood pressure werent normal. it was so bad that i couldnt stop crying. i thought it was anxiety related, but my mom said it might actually be some heart disease that runs in the family. apparently most of my family members dealt/deal with this.
im so afraid. i dont want a heart disease. my health anxiety is so bad, and health related things are my biggest fear. this is literally so terrifying to me.
Now im focusing on my heartbeat and my chest in general, afraid it will come back again. so i cannot fall asleep, because i keep on worrying. it never ends and i dont know what to do about it. i especially need sleep because tomorrow will be full of work. 
im going to the doctor on wednesday. this is so scary.
i wish i didnt have to deal with this.