tw for talk about self harm and violent things

also i apologize for poor wording on the title.. english is not my first language

I sometimes get this really intense feeling of hatred towards my body and my brain will fill with graphic images on what i should to my own body. does anyone else here experience this?

for example: i might be dressing for the day, and think 'my shoulders are so wide...' then in seconds that thought will evolve into 'my shoulders are so disturbingly wide and i look so masculine. i really want to cut them off with a chainsaw since i look disgusting like this' then that graphic scenario will fill my head even if i try not to think about it.

this might be triggered also by me seeing pretty girls and comparing myself to them and i hate it... it's gotten worse with my mental health in general dropping.