I'm 25 and bipolar, and I've been in a relationship for 7-months with a 23-year old with some kind of a mood or personality disorder, or both.

Since I'm bipolar I have had my fair share of instability (my whole family is pretty much inflicted in some way or another), and thus have plenty of experience with mental illness. When I first met my girlfriend it was painfully obvious to me she was suffering from a mood disorder. At first I thought she just had some kind of anxiety disorder and depression, perhaps even bipolar herself. At around the 2-month mark she freaked out on me, and tried to convince me to break up with her. I tried to reassure her I wasn't going anywhere, and she eventually came around and we stuck together.

As I've gotten to know her, she's presented with a wide range of symptoms ranging from binge eating, feeling fat (she's 5'8 and 120lbs and gorgeous), she works out obsessively whenever she feels too fat or after binge eating and will sometimes run up to 5 miles on the treadmill (she's hurt her back several times from working out too much, and injured one of the tendons in her foot since I've known her). Her Dad bailed on her when she was 7, she has a history of shoplifting, cutting, depression, anxiety, rage fits, dating emotionally abusive boyfriends, and associating with mentally unstable "friends" and drug users despite the fact she doesn't use drugs herself. 

She's constantly spewing self depreciating statements, and suffers from random unexplainably powerful emotions that she tries to justify to any means necessary causing her to make impulsive irrational decisions. When she's having one of her "episodes" as she calls them she becomes selfish, inconsiderate, purposely tries to start fights with me about anything and everything, and seeks out her emotionally unstable and abusive friend who manipulates and uses her. She tells me I'm too good for her, and that I deserve to be with someone better, and tries to push me away. She goes from writing in complete coherent sentences to fragmented slang and vague insensitive language. Even her taste in music will shift dramatically depending on her moods (like metal one day, then pop-rap the next day). She only listens to rap when she's in her impulsive crazy acting like she's on Jersey Shore mood. 

Her job recently moved their office about 8 miles further away from her house (she still lives at home although she could easily afford to move out, but is afraid to), and from where I live which has forced her to wake up earlier when she already has enough issues trying to fall asleep at night. It's pushed her into what I thought was a manic episode, and she does present with mania like symptoms she's been buying random things she'll never wear, wanted a motorcycle one day, and hungout Friday night with a bunch of people from work that she hates and constantly complains about.

The most profound thing that really clued me into the fact she wasn't dealing with a bipolar like mood disorder was when she literally confessed her love for me this past Sunday night, and apologized profusely for the way she had been behaving and pretty much told me everything I've ever wanted to hear from a girl, that she loves me, she can see spending the rest of her life with me, and wants to eventually live with me. Less than 12 hours later she woke me up with a text message telling me she made plans with her crazy friend next weekend and wont be watching the Super Bowl with me anymore, and I probably won't get to see her at all this weekend. This of course pissed me off that she would make plans with her crazy friend behind my back, and blow me off all weekend without giving me a heads up considering we usually spend every Sunday together, and she knows I'm a huge football fan. This then resulted in an epic battle of furious text message fighting, her yelling and screaming at me for an hour during her lunch break followed by hours of more insane degrading text message fighting.

This all took place just 3 hours after she woke me up to give me a goodbye kiss before she went to work and told me she loved me.

I saw my therapist today and told her everything that has been going on and that I thought my GF may have BPD as I had recently read a research study comparing BPD to bipolar disorder and the symptoms and criteria matched my GF like a glove. My psychologist agreed with me that it sounds like my GF is suffering from BPD, and told me that she doesn't even accept borderline patients, and that she wont give me a referral to anyone she knows for my GF. She recommended I really consider whether the relationship is worth it or not, and educated me on what I would deal with if I continue to stay with my GF. She said that even with years of therapy my GF will never truly get better, and will continue to relapse and be a constant source of instability in my life, and it will likely make it much harder for me to manage my own moods, and disorder. This is all of course assuming she'll even get help or a proper diagnosis (which may never happen although I'm trying my best to convince her to get some kind of help). 

With this said, I know what it is like to be thought "crazy" and "unlovable" and I've had people bail on me or never even give me a chance simply because I'm bipolar, and I really just can't imagine why I would walk away from someone I love, and who I know loves me just because they have a mood or personality disorder. At the same time, I see my therapists point of view pretty clearly, and I honestly am so confused and torn right now.

I just wanted to post this, obviously with a throwaway account, and see if what my GF is dealing with sounds like I'm barking up the right tree here. I'm not asking for anyone to diagnosis her, and I hate the fact I came to this conclusion but it just makes way too much sense given everything I've been through with her already.

Is my therapist right, is there little hope for her to get better even if she accepts her condition and gets help?