I got this "eureka" moment few minutes ago.

I have pretty weird social behavior (aside from that I have BPD) - I'm afraid of people, I never go outside even if they ask me to go with them, I have very strong fear of creating relationships, BUT when I'm all alone I feel so lonely and I desperately want love, friends, just some kind of communication. But when it comes to business (when I actually have to talk to somebody) I completely retire into my shell. 

Somehow I've understand why this is happening.

I feel that I lose my identity when I'm around other people. Like when I talk to somebody I'm trying to say only what they want to hear. Trying to do only what they want me to do. I forget about all my desires, goals, etc. And when I'm making relationships with somebody I feel like I "disappear" completely. And this feeling is so deep, that I can't just turn it off, though I identify all these feelings very well. 

Anyone can relate? What can I do about it? Help. 