I decided that I will try to punish myself in every way possible 

I ended up getting kicked out of my online home and, well, I deserve it 

I deserve this pain 

I was abused and now im the abuser 

Nobody cares though 

I think, if you're an abuser, then theres nothing good thats meant for you

I should have realized that long time ago 

At 13, I wanted to die because I knew I was a bad person. And I didnt die

But I can change all that

Nobody will have to deal with my shit if I just end everything 

Then everyone will be happy 

Thats the way life works