How am I supposed to know how to have a stable and healthy identity when I don't know what that is? I can't go into other people's heads to find out. It has been brought to my attention that I don't really have an identity but I never saw it that way. When someone asks me what I like to do, who I am, I don't have an answer. Never thought about the fact that that is not normal. That's the case with a lot of other BPD things (thoughts,feelings, behaviors, perceptions, perspectives). I only find out that it's abnormal by asking and talking about certain things. Otherwise I assume that my experience is like other people's. You know? I can feel that I have identity issues because I rapidly changes my preferences and values. As well as severe sexual identification issues. With that I can tell that it's pathological. A lot of other things...assumed to be "normal". How do you guys figure out what's normal and not?