I would say I’ve had depression for the majority of my life and I currently believe that this is the worst it’s ever gotten. I’ve started being less invited to things and have been pushing people away (not always by choice by by circumstances) and it seems like everything is changing. I really am feeling unprepared and I have a sinking feeling that it’s only going to get worse. I’ve had to put on a fake smile for my parents and friends but this week I just couldn’t take it and have just been sulking, sad part is is that no one seems to notice or care until it’s too late. I got no one in my personal life who is willing to talk to me or take me seriously and part of that is because I don’t feel like communicating my personal life and exposing myself in case someone uses it against me. I’ve been living in a cycle day in and day out and I honestly believe that once school starts again it’s going to get a lot worse. Im just at a loss and it’s like I can’t make decisions in my life anymore. I don’t know who to trust. I have absolutely zero self confidence which leads me to horrible thoughts which always make me think that everyone is just making fun of me and who I act/look. These voices are beginning to overshadow what people are actually saying to me which is scary because it seems like the truth. I’ve really given up on trying to be happy. I think once school starts imma have to put on the smile again.