It just feels like I’m constantly in defense mode, and I feel so enraged when I feel someone has slighted me. I want to make them see why they are wrong, and essentially for them to capitulate in a sort of battle of wits.

I feel like I go through a cycle of feeling good, becoming confident, then lashing out in anger, then being paranoid for a couple weeks from the lashing out, and then repeating that process as nauseam. When I am feeling confident, it often goes over the top, and I start to see what other people do that bothers me, and I dive in head first when the opportunity arises.

I mainly struggle with anxiety issues, but I had a provisional diagnosis of BPD at one point in time, and every therapist is weird about talking about it because of the “known difficulties of the diagnosis”. But I feel like I really relate with a lot of the things posted. I just want to figure out how to mitigate my problem, mainly.

I’m not trying to sound whiny or anything, but maybe that is just a result of all of this. I just would like some ideas on how to work on these issues, if anyone has any.

Thank you for taking the time to read my little rant. I appreciate you.