but i cant be. i passed an exam but it never felt real. it feels like a big joke and i cheated somehow. im just alone. no friends. they said "you should celebrate" but i couldnt care less abt something that isnt mine to have. my brain just keeps repeating stuff like "dont even dare talking to anyone" "theres someone looking at you from everywhere" - im tired. i feel useless. im all alone. what good does any of this do? 
at home everyone fights all the time and i break up the fights but then im the idiot. which is fine.
but "its fine" is the biggest lie. i could cry. i just wanna lock myself up somewhere and never be found. not like anyone will even look for me. i tried playing games but i just cant continue on. now i stare at the same 3 things day by day. lifes not worth living anymore?