The marijuana messed me up so bad that I’m even afraid to try a Benadryl. I’m so sick of all this and really wanna enjoy my life again, here’s a list of what I experience on a daily basis: 

HD 4K vision 
Extreme existential ocd, to the point where I feel like I don’t actually exist or anything for that matter.
Panic 
Vivid dreams 
Tired all day 
None restful sleep 
Can’t sleep at night 
Brain fog 
Confusion 
Jumbling sentences 
Horrible memory 
Believing I can get high from touching things in public such as door knobs, gas pumps, or self checkout screens.

Basically I just want to try meds but I’m afraid. Will they make me high? I don’t wanna be altered, I’ll notice any little difference and panic. 

TL;DR: I’m at my wits end with mental illness, should I try meds/will they make me feel high?