I have a complete mental breakdown every single Christmas and usually spend it in the psychiatric hospital. This year I haven't gone to the hospital and I consider that a huge improvement. But I'm still having a really hard time and I just got a trip to Costa Rica as a Christmas present and the flight leaves tomorrow at 6am. I am not in any way shape or form ready to just leave the fucking country. I don't know what the fuck to do and I'm scared to tell my dad I don't want to go 