i thought moving out of my dads house would improve my mental health &amp; honestly for a bit..it did, but now i’m just sad &amp; so angry at the thought that he’s out here living his best life while i’m here still suffering. my father molested me around the age 7-10 (i honestly don’t even remember what age, i’ve tried so hard to suppress those horrible memories) and i never told anyone. for years i had to pretend he was a good person when in reality he’s a fucking monster. i even started blaming myself for it, trying to downplay my own trauma..it affected my mental health so bad. he’s the reason i’ll never be able to form a normal relationship with a man, he’s the reason i feel so uncomfortable around men. all i wanted was for him to protect me, yet he hurt me more than any man ever could…it’s like the ultimate betrayal, i don’t think i can ever fully trust anyone, because of it. i’ve contemplated suicide so many times, but never go through with it because i’m such a fucking pussy. i wish someone would just come kill me &amp; get it over with..i’m so tired. i’m tired of living this lie…i’m in so much pain &amp; nobody even realizes it.