It's a bit strange of a situation, my FP and I are sort of taking a break in our relationship (it's a long distance one), although we still talk everyday and spend time together and we actually haven't had an argument since the split this last Tuesday... which doesn't sound like much but it is really great considering we used to get into arguments literally every day/every other day. Oops. .\_.

So today he made a comment that kinda hurt me and triggered me and I totally overreacted. I couldn't help myself and I said "Thanks for making me feel like an idiot" and he apologized right away and explained he didn't mean anything bad. Then I actually stopped myself from replying and raging at him like I normally would and instead, I put my phone down, opened a new Word document on my PC and typed all the angry thoughts and things I would say to him in there. It's actually the first time I've done this and it really did help. I cried and was really upset but when I calmed down, I went ahead and also wrote down all the facts about how he's been treating me well and spending time with me and basically doing everything I'd want him to do in the last days. I did not read over the bad part of the doc again. I just closed it without saving when I was finished and calm and went back to talking to him. I did tell him afterwards why his comment hurt me and we discussed it in a calm manner.

I feel really good about this! My BPD has been off the charts lately, esp. since getting into this relationship and I'm in the process of trying to get medical help and get into therapy again rn. He's really understanding and supportive of my BPD and trying to get better. He also seemed happy when I shared with him that I did this. It's a small step but made me hopeful since controlling these tantrums has been pretty much impossible for me these last months. Also, it was his birthday today, so I'm really really really happy I didn't fuck it up today. Thanks for reading. &lt;3