Pretty much what the title says. I moved out of my very toxic house over a year ago; and really started taking steps to get better about 9 months ago when I got my first job. 

I was having an especially good couple of months. I still had mood swings and I'd still have days where I crashed down hard; but I was able to get back up again, and I made a lot of progress. I was esp proud of how my friendship with my FP had gotten better. I would still get really excited to talk to him, but I could go days at a time without talking, and even if I got paranoid or anxious I could calm myself down. I even made new friends, reached out to new people, started drawing again.

About 3 weeks ago, I had a major depressive episode that led to me missing almost 2 weeks of work. During that time, I was just. Dead to the world. Spent all of my time sleeping or listening to music. Nothing creative, nothing productive. I had to ask my mom for money help and I think she resents me for it. I barely talked to anyone.
And now, I've reverted to all of my old habits with my FP. Even my best friend is talking to me less, I'm now talking to none of my friends, and I'm constantly, constantly anxious. I can't talk to anyone outside of work or home or online. I'm avoiding messages out of fear. I'm exactly where I was 9 months ago, and it just fucking kills me that I managed to lose so much progress and work in the blink of an eye. 

I don't even think I have the energy to pick up all the pieces. Like, is this just it? Am I just going to be on an endless loop, just gotta keep starting over and over? I'm so tired. I'm so close to cutting ties with everyone, I think they deserve the satisfaction of forgetting about me.