I literally can’t help it. Deep down I am just so emotionally dependent on him. How my entire day goes depends on how much I can talk to him or see him. We don’t live together and right now with our work schedules we can only see each other once or twice a week. Every day I’m not with him I spend it so unhappily deep down and feel so incomplete. I just want to live with him and sleep with him every night and feel 100% secure in our relationship. But I have such a terribly anxious attachment style. It’s like a loss of object permanence whenever he’s away. As soon as he’s gone and not by my side obviously wanting to be there, I start worrying that he secretly hates me, doesn’t want to spend time with me, and is going to leave me. He just cancelled plans we had for a legitimate reason but my brain keeps telling me he’s lying and he just doesnt want to see me even though he’s never lied to me like that. I just hate how bad my trust issues are and that I feel so rejected and lost just bc my bf cancelled on me today even tho we were hanging out all yesterday and he spent the night 😭 and then i have to call him to make sure he really had this family thing and he doesn’t just not wanna see me, and I know im being so extra and maybe making him feel guilty, but im like dyyying over here and can’t help it ughh, I try so hard not to be a burden bc of my strong emotions :( it’s so hard to live with feeling this way lol