i can’t stand having to do everything by my brains stupid silly rules all day every day !!! i know the solution is to not give in to compulsions but that’s easier said than done when u have significant physical feelings of anxiety every time u fuck up a compulsion which only encourages your obsessions more!!! 

it’s so fun wasting food and water because im so convinced it’s contaminated and the idea of cooking it anyways makes me want to rip my hair out !!  i love washing my hands until they bleed!!  

the best part is my family telling me its better if i don’t live with them because “clearly im not happy here” as if the issue is them and not the brain that i am stuck with for the rest of my life wherever i go 🥰🥰 so awesome that my only options are to be like this forever or take drugs that i don’t want the side effects of at all or to be forced to face the intrusive thoughts by therapists