I used to go on walks very late at night for hours at a time very drunk. I was hoping I would get kidnapped, hit by a car, mugged, or anything to happen to me. I mix drugs very frequently with alcohol and hope I die from an accidental overdose. There has been times when I’m actively suicidal but it’s not as bad as my passive side. Anyone else deal with passiveness when suicidal? Also how bad is it to be doing stuff like this