So after many many years I'm finally engaging with a psychologist. They are leaning towards a diagnosis of BPD. I' not sure though.  Splitting seems to be a major part of BPD to me, and I didn't think I'd engaged in that - but maybe I have. Depersonalisation - I don't know, I mean sometime I gain perspective and can see myself as others might. Isn't that just self awareness? I have a sibling who is definitely BPD, and while my behaviour can be off the wall, it is no where near what they are like. Most of my f-ups have been when drinking or to do with sex etc. For the most part of my life I've just been getting treated for depression or addiction. I don't know what I'm looking for here. Maybe someone could ask me some questions and see if that fits?  I have been abusive to others. My current relationship has lasted a long, long time but it has also been shaky for a long time too. I'm in the same job for 20 years. For all practical matters (financial, employment, housing etc.) I'm stable. Emotionally I'm a self hating over sensitive mess, although I've gotten better. If my partner had a PD I would say it was definitely cluster C. Am I BPD? Or did I grow up around people with BPD and I only notice something is wrong when someone points it out to me - and then I'm like oh yeah, I probably shouldn't do that? Anyway, I just wanted to get that off my chest and maybe start a conversation