So I just avoid everything. I can't find anyone who is like me anywhere. Everybody is content, everybody. No existentialism to be found anywhere when I look around and it truly baffles me. 

Just wanted to vent some because it really is painful to feel so fundamentally alone. You're on the planet, yet nobody is like you so you're surrounded but alone completely. It feels horrible and I can't shake this feeling ever. 

Regardless what else happens or how I improve in one area, this fact remains and it just makes me feel like what's the point really. Why try and improve if nobody on the planet can understand your pathology in any way whatsoever.

I mean I could be happy on my own content to enjoy my hobbies, an introverted person but it doesn't really matter because that is a tiny life. I have no connection to anything outside of that and I don't fucking want any either. But I also at the same time wish someone would have told me at any point in my life ''Hey man, I know what you're going through, I understand'' but it's never happened and probably never will happen. 

I don't know how to live a happy life. It's fucking foreign to me. I feel nothing or dread and that's it.