had depression for about 5 years now with pretty much no treatment but usually when I go through an episode i’m able to still function but today I couldn’t even get out of bed. I almost peed myself because I was procrastinating on using the bathroom. I have midterms soon, my assignments are piling up and I genuinely wanted to kill myself today. If something doesn’t change I feel like i’ll actually kill myself but I don’t even know where to begin getting treatment. my campus has resources but they’re limited and I also don’t have any money to pay for actual therapy so what do I do? ive considered calling a suicide line but I know if i’m honest about it they’ll send someone and I really dont want that