For context:

My best friend and I met on tinder around 2 yrs ago now, I'll admit I did have feelings for her for a while bc with my autism and adhd I tend to obsess over people I click with even slightly. Over the past year I've been trying everything in me to be over her because I ultimately know we work better as friends. We had a bit of a "fwb" thing for a bit so it def slowed down the progress.

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They met around October and have been going out since December. I'm so happy for her bc I know how in love my best friend is w her but ofc the gf knows we met on tinder and everything so is ultimately understandably jealous of me. I've been told that she has said some unsavoury stuff about me when split (friend refused to tell me exactly what bc she knows it'd upset me too much) but then she is always suggesting I come hang with them both when she's not split.

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I really want to be her friend bc she genuinely seems like a lovely person, can anyone give me any advice in how to help her feel more secure with me around? My friend said she'd maybe benefit from talking with me personally which I did agree with but I am so bad w all this kind of stuff and I don't want to say the wrong thing and upset her/make things worse/both. Honestly anything is greatly appreciated bc I've only just started researching into BPD itself to better understand her!