My other 20 year old friends live on their own, have jobs, and are independent

While I'm sitting her contemplating between suicide euthanasia and treatment center for severe abuse I experienced over my life

I hate not being high functioning enough to get a job and do stuff. I feel ashamed that I need help because I am so battered

My worth depends on being a functional member of society and because I can't I feel too ashamed to be around people

I'm a failure