And I honestly can't tell most of the time if I actually want to jump, sometimes it feels as if I'll trip, like one event is going to just push me over,I've written my note in my head over and over, I can't help but visualize what it would be like if I did, I'm not sure weather to comfort myself or alleviate guilt, I've struggled my entire life and I do my best to remind myself that I've beaten so many horrible things all ready but I don't have any fight left in me, I just wish I was normal, and there's this facade of "support" but it's empty, I just need someone to take care of me for once...