I was diagnosed with BPD a year or so back. I am in my late twenties now and for a long time was completely out of my mind. My SO and I have been together for 5 years. For some reason with him is where I really went off the deep end. About 6 months to a year into the relationship I started to exhibit crazy behavior, drugs, violent episodes,  suicide attempts etc. This went on and off for about 4 years. I won't sugar coat how bad I was to my SO.  I was violent with words and physically. I never cheated, but I hurt him in so many other ways. I believe he stayed with me because of my undying loyalty to him. Again having BPD I get very attached and once I fall in love I can't let it go. I had past relationships that ended but I never really lost it, but with my current SO I could never lose him that is how co-dependent I am. Eventually it reached a point where it was so bad, cops were being called I was making so many serious attempts even in front of my SO's friends. My SO kicked me out and broke up with me. I pleaded and begged for forgiveness because while having BPD isn't an excuse to do any of the things I did, I truly do love my SO and I wanted to change for my SO and myself. My SO agreed to take a break for a month and see. I immediately started therapy and I actually quit taking all the psych meds and got better. I made so much progress we are now back living with one another. I am no longer violent, I haven't made one attempt in a year and overall much better. 

However, even with all my progress I sometimes feel that my SO has stigmatized me. For example anytime I have an emotion or cry because I think my SO treated me unfairly or because I am worried about our relationship ..my SO will either immediately blame my BPD, ignore me (to train me according to my SO ) or he will flat out tell me I am emotionally manipulating him. Even in other instances if I buy some cookies and bring him some too he thinks that I am manipulating him to eat the cookie so that I dont feel bad about my bad eating habits or maybe I want him to get fat to bring him down (he is very dedicated to his fitness). He tends to think everything I do has some secret motive or manipulative factor. Where honestly I feel like I am just being nice or trying to work things out. I know my BPD will always play a part in my life and actions, but I feel I can't escape the stigma. Where now everything I do is analyzed in the worst way as if I am this manipulative person. Or am I being manipulative without even knowing it?