I just realised this morning, between the various treatment teams for a variety of problems, I'm supposed to put in a minimum 2 hours per day on treatments for both the mental and physical problems. Now, none of these "treatments" have any real guarantee of success, indeed one is only minimising getting worse. Thing is, I do not like myself enough to want to devote 2 whole work days a week to this optimistic self improvement. One is mindfulness stuff, which I had tried in the past and found made things worse. The other is physio exercises, which only minimise the inevitable. I'd rather spend the time in bed.  