I recently talked to my parents, told them a situation I had. That I had gotten cheated on, and it had been probably over a week ago, my time frames are awful. I didn’t tell them because I was embarrassed. I told my dad and he asked me, “Do you think you’d be a good wife?” To which I answered yes, then he asked me, “If you’re willing to sacrifice yourself, go the extra mile, and give your all to someone else why settle for less?”

I stayed because I’m pregnant with my boyfriends kid, I didn’t think I could have kids, he was a really great guy, I don’t think I knew him well enough now. He’s trying to fix things, however I feel hurt by everything. I cant send him tiktok’s of women who I find attractive or ai think he’ll find attractive anymore because of how insecure it’s made me. I never had a problem about the way I looked. 

I cry thinking of what he did, how he hadn’t done that in any other relationship, how he did it to me knowing I asked him not to plus being pregnant already and that I would leave if i found out, besides, knowing he would’ve hid it from me hurt me most. It’d be the ultimate betrayal, I’d look stupid while he knew what he did. As he pretended things were okay. 

I don’t trust him anymore, I try to go everyday like nothing happened, like he wouldn’t do it again, that it was one time and never again. But I don’t know that for sure, he could be doing all of this behind my back. He could lie to me and I would blindly trust him if I let myself. I don’t deserve that, I went from being everyone’s IT girl to a girl who settled for things I would’ve never imagined myself accepting. I had the highest standards, most of which was the bare minimum but now ai can’t even expect that. 

He hurt me, and although he wants to fix it I’m not sure he even sees a future with me. His family thinks being in a free union is okay, but in my family we are traditional and I am already doing things wrong. I am not waiting years to get married to a man who fucked up so soon already. Im not sure I even want to marry him, I don’t know if I could have him in my life if he wasn’t mine. But he wasn’t even mine in the first place, he proved that to me the minute he did what he did. Should I stay and try to fix things? Give it a two week break, space from each other to see if I’m more at peace with or without him and see if even then he could control himself?