I'm so pissed. All my teenage years, all of my childhood, was ruined by this. Looking back, 99% of the time I felt like a piece of fucking SHIT. There were barely any moments of real happiness. I'm 19. There are people around me, partying, making friends, experiences, hooking up. Everyone I know were on big vacations. These are supposed to be the best years of my life, full of youth, beauty, energy.

Instead, I'm being recently diagnosed with BPD, PTSD, social anxiety, severe depression, an eating disorder and what not. Instead, I'm not able to shower for weeks. Instead, I'm not able to leave the house more than 4 times a week. Instead I had to go through all this fucking crap. My mental and physical health is a mess. Instead, I cry at night almost every day. I'm going to therapy very soon, but I realize I can't have what the people around me have rn and it's breaking my heart.

This is some BULLSHIT.