For some context: my anxiety causes me to be really itchy, and sometimes it can get bad, mostly at night. 

I had a hard time not scratching myself last night because of how anxious I’ve felt lately. My brother and I were sharing a bed, and I had a difficult time controlling my itchiness. He finally “whisper-yelled” at me: “ENOUGH! YOU’RE THE REASON I WON’T GET ANY SLEEP TONIGHT!” 

I almost had a panic attack right then, but I didn’t. I felt to so sick and guilty about myself and my itching. I wanted to vomit. He proceeds to sleep like a baby after, and keep me up till 2AM snoring like a freight train. I wanted to disappear. I wanted to cry. I wanted to not exist. 

I still want to beat myself up because of my itching, but I can’t help it sometimes. The guilt I feel is indescribable right now. I need a hug so bad.