I'm 21 years old and I keep a memory box filled with a whole bunch of knickknacks. Let's just say I'm quite sentimental. I opened up a diary that I kept when I was 13. Most of the entries filled with my boy-crazy phase, some of them filled with anger... and one of them hinting that maybe I was suffering from depression. Which makes me very very sad to know that I felt so alone. A little background for this time period in my life, I am a child of divorced parents who remarried and had kids. At this time, I lived with my mom and visited my dad's on the weekend. I'm going to type word-for-word what the diary says:

"September 20, 2011, Tuesday, 5:49 p.m
Have you ever felt as if anyone just anyone in the world would ever care if you went missing or died? I try to imagine people caring, but I just can't. There's this place called Earth that everyone  enjoys living on. But me? No. Just not my thing. To be in a place where you're not hated, but just feel invisible to who and what you're around. It's just like being a ghost just lingering through things. I can't help but feel as if this place isn't meant for me. That if I had a choice between living and dying, I'd rather die. Yeah, nobody's life is perfect, but mine is just not perfect enough. It's like coming home every day and have the feeling that all you do is go in your room and sit and wonder if anyone cares what you're doing. What if I just ran away without notice. What if I got murdered? What if I committed suicide. See, these things won't be known until maybe 8:30pm when my brother comes in the room to sleep. It also hurts going to school and having no one you've known since kindergarten through 3rd grade that's your best friend. That knows who you are and your prospective of things. I see people at school talk about their moments from 2nd grade and it makes me feel as if I'm just another one of those friends who'll be distant. It's hard going into my dad's house knowing that people would question why I havent been visiting lately. If I love my dad anymore. It's hard knowing a 2 year year old brother who'll probably think of you as a cousin instead of a sister. It's just hard. Life is hard. And this is my place and home called Earth."

Throughout high school, I mellowed out a lot. But now that I'm an adult, it's all catching up to me again. Never have I related so much to that little girl inside me.