im 20f and i was diagnosed with BPD over a year ago but i have been completely ignoring the diagnosis because i also have panic disorder, anxiety, OCD, and cPTSD that ive been really trying to work on but i can tell now that the BPD symptoms are whats truly making everything impossible. i’m already seeing 3 therapists but I’m on a waitlist for a DBT program. im just scared and extremely paranoid. my mood swings are causing significant stress on my relationship. i go from thinking im beautiful and talented to less than dirt. i try to get my boyfriend to hate me so that he’ll leave me and then instantly regret it and desperately try to take it back. suicidal thoughts and threats left and right. im so suspicious of my boyfriend and family. i feel like theyre always doing something behind my back no matter what. im engaging in restrictive food intake. i have anger outbursts out of nowhere that cause my dad to be afraid of me. im terrified. i never got to learn anything about BPD when i was diagnosed and im just so scared righj now