Im not gunna kill myself or anything tonight but im in so much pain I want to die so bad. I started meds for the first time about a week ago (Zoloft) its not supposed to work for a couple weeks. Im 32 my whole 20s are only pain. I never got help until now. Every night is terrible. Tonight is another awful night. I want to die so bad. I hope this therapy and meds work. I think I might have a personality disorder (NPD or BPD) but maybe its just anxiety. I hate life so much. I hate everything about it. Every night is terrible. I hate existing.