I had a nice day, im feeling calmer than I ecpected, but I am disappointed only a handful of friends wished me a happy birthday. 

I think i made a mistake and did a self fullfilling prophecy bit, because in anticipation of wondering if anyone would actually remember my birthday I made an instagram story along the "happy bday to me," lines. 

I wasnt familiar with the term FP before I started reading stuff from this subredded, but for context some of my old friends, people I now realize were FPs at different times, looked at my story but didnt wish me a happy birthday. 

I feel a lot like I set myself up for this disappointment  and im gonna be fine, this feels like a bit of a self-indulgent whinge thanks to my guilt around sharing my feelings anywhere, even to a group of strangers who can _actually relate_ haha. Cheers BPD.

I dont know whst I expected, I think I need to accept I've not made the best choices in the friends I've made and should reassess those who i hold dear. 

The bright side has been having plenty of other friends, some people I didnt expect, and family I havent talked to in a long time coming out of the woodwork to wish me a happy birthday and remind me that my circle isn't as narrow as my mind tells me it is. 

I am grateful for that, I hope I can start rebuilding my confidence, weirdly enough I think this is actually going to be a positive.

Thanks as always for giving me a space to air this brain vomit.