Sorry if this isn't a good place to post I just need to rant and this came up first. 

I was driving with my windows down, don't even know why I just like it more. A plastic bag that was in my car flew up and in trying to grab it, I swerved on the highway into the truck in the lane beside me, hitting them and then hitting the median. The damage to my car costs more than its worth and I'm going to end up spending the rest of my savings trying to repair it as much as possible so I can at least drive it again. I'm in college making $10/hr and I don't know how I'm going to afford this, especially now that I won't be able to start the better paying job I had planned on since I don't know when I'll have a car to drive there again. To make things worse this happened a week before my 19th birthday on Sunday. 

I also got a ticket for failing to stay in my lane that I have to go to court for. I don't know what is going to happen, how much I'm going to get fined, what I'm going to do, and I can't stop stressing about it. I don't know how to pay for that on top of repairs and insurance going way up. I've never been to court before and I don't know how to deal with the stress of that. 

I had finally gotten a therapy appointment for my anxiety that's been worsening over this whole past year of starting college and I'm going to have to cancel it because I can't afford it on top of the car accident. 

I can't deal with the financial stress of this, I can't deal with the embarrassment of being such a dumbass that I let this happen. I keep going over all the hundreds of ways this could have been prevented and I hate so much that it's too late to go back and fix it because I honestly don't know how to handle it all. I keep thinking that the other car and the police and tow truck company and repair company and ambulance that showed up all think I'm the biggest idiot alive. I know the drivers of the other car hate me for crashing into them. I feel like an idiot. 

I had enough problems already and I just don't know what to do with this on top of it. And the fact that I was finally going to get help for my anxiety but instead it's gotten way way worse from being in a car accident and I won't be able to afford therapy for who knows how long is just piling on to make it worse. I keep thinking that if the median hadn't been there, I would have hit another car head on and probably died. I wish that I had. Life just isn't worth it.