I was diagnosed a couple of months ago and took so long to be because I've fought impulses and trained myself out of a lot of classic tendencies that I now know are part of it for most of my life; I have conquered self harm, impulse to lie (to look normal, in my case), attention seeking, taking things out on others, etc. and am frankly hurt by most of the descriptions of what I'm supposed to be like.  But I do experience the ocean of emotions, deep emptiness, loneliness and fear of abandonment and splitting (that i keep to myself, no running my mouth) which is what finally got me diagnosed when I sought professional help to deal with them and make changes in my life.

I mention all that because I'm trying to understand what it is like to be around me; it has bothered me for years that I'm obviously doing something wrong but noone will tell me what I did wrong or need to do right. And every once in a while I can tell a close person is hurt and I caused it but I don't know HOW. Even if I completely separate myself from them in an effort to not hurt them or project whatever shit I'm dealing with on them THAT'S even wrong. I don't want to hurt anyone, especially the people I love. It would help so much if you could tell me what "walking on eggshells" as I've heard it described is, why its so hard for you to be around someone in respects to those aspects. 

Thank you so much.