I'm not an antivaxxer! I believe in modern medicine. 

I was always scared of getting the vaccine, because we don't know the long-term effects of it. And I was also scared of getting it with the medication combination I'm on for my bipolar disorder, because I didn't know how it could react. 

The first time I told myself I would get it if I stop taking my medications a week prior to clear it out of my system so I can get the vaccine all by itself. That was a huge mistake, because of my bipolar disorder I became very mentally unstable which also in turn exacerbated my anxiety. And so I failed to make the appointment. 

This time, I got the vaccine and ironically I wasn't on any medication at all because my doctor took me off one medication because of it not working, and also because I've been in a major depression the last two weeks I literally forgot to take my medication for a week straight. *yes!, really it's as simple as I forgot, I know it's bad*. 

So not only did I push through the anxiety of getting the vaccine, I also got what I wanted in that I got it without being on medication. *It wasn't on purpose I swear! Haha* 

My arm hurts like hell, and I feel really lightheaded and dizzy today But otherwise I'm okay. 
However I am highly unstable, because I'm not any medication And my doctor is gone for the next two weeks on vacation, and another psychiatrist at the clinic told me not to restart my meds (after stopping lamotrigine for more than five consecutive days You can't just simply restart it, You have to retitrate up to the target dose again)

The pharmacist as well as the nurse at the vaccine site said it's okay for me to take my Ativan before and after getting the vaccine, but I decided not to because I fear mixing it with the vaccine. 

So I am just pushing through the anxiety that the symptoms are giving me and I'm doing okay! 

But I'm super proud of myself for biting the bullet and getting the vaccine As I am much more scared of catching COVID-19 than I am of the vaccine.