Ever since the pandemic started I feel like the world is no longer built for me anymore. A job I once enjoyed I became terrible at because I am bad at working from home. Tried to start a new job thinking it would motivate me and I am failing because they told me the team is in the office 3 times a week and they aren't. Now they are closing the office, the exact opposite of what I wanted to happen.  I am severely immune compromised so I feel like the world doesn't care about my health. I am failing at every personal aspect of my life and it just keeps piling on.  I found a therapist I love, then the practice shut down. I am seeing a psychiatrist and am on my 5th attempt at an anti-depressant, but nothing works. I lost 60 pounds with diet and exercise, I got MS. I feel like I am in an endless cycle where no matter what I do to try to raise myself up,  life knocks me back down. I heard someone say they felt like their life was an endurance test every day and I feel this so hard. Keeping myself alive until I can go to sleep is not a way to live. No matter what logic there is to me being happy, my brain will not believe it.  I was recently diagnosed with ADHD so I know its because my brain is wired wrong. I never had a relationship, the men that claim they like me never like me enough to be with me. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I can barely get up in the morning and I see no end in site.