This will be a long post so I'm sorry.

Long story short, my current SO is toxic and pretty abusive really. I have BPD and he knows about this and can be supportive when it suits him. But a lot of the time he uses it as an excuse to be verbally and sometimes physically abusive towards me, then blames me for starting it or saying I'm just overreacting and he hasn't done anything wrong, etc. He says a lot that I'm the one with BPD and I need help, not him, that I cause every argument and fight with my 'BPD bullshit'.

Basically I know that I probably do cause some of the fights, but definitely not all. And even if I started the fights, its no excuse for the names he calls me or for hitting or choking me.

So I need to break up with him. I have tried, but when I do he just won't let me. He tells me that I only think it because of my BPD and I'll snap out of it and want him back again straight after. We end up arguing and it continues until he hurts me physically (usually just grabbing me hard or shoving me over) and I back down.

We live together and I don't really have anywhere to go, so I need him to agree to the break up. How do I convince him that we do need to break up and it's not just my BPD and I do mean it?