I just feel broken and I’m breaking more and more. But at the same time there’s nothing. On the outside people have been saying I seem fine but I’m not. And it’s not even like a mental breakdown now, just zero emotions. And it feels like I’m feeling less and less, I’m just a husk an empty bottle. I used a metaphor for being a canvas. I feel like an empty canvas that I actually have to act. If I don’t I’m just empty I’m nothing. I might be a psychopath but I swear to god I’ve felt emotions I’ve felt happiness and I’ve felt connections to people even it was just brief. I just want to be able to do that. Be a normal person. I realise the closest sense of self I have is something like a cold emotionless scientist. I wish I just felt those strong rushes of emotion. Honestly life without that is without substance there’s nothing that means anything without emotional ties.