Welllll here it goes

I have never posted on reddit and have honestly not really had the courage to... I’ve always suffered with anxiety, even before I knew what that meant/ was. In my family, mental health has always had some sort of stigma and it was said that  I just need to “deal with things.” Often times, my anxiety was (and still is) compared to stress aka.. well it stresses me out when... Honestly, my anxiety can be debilitating. I know I need to get things done, I know it would make my life easier but for some reason I just CANT. Even simple things like making a phone call can make me feel anxious with no reason. I wish this wasn’t how I felt all of the time and can most of the time shut it out and am honestly pretty high functioning. Most of my friends say, “focus on what makes you happy” or “you don’t seem anxious, you’re fine.” They just don’t understand what is going on in my head. Well... what if I honestly can’t really say what makes me happy? Most of the time I feel as if I’m going through experiences, but they don’t make me happy as they should, I am just indifferent. I can tell you things that I may enjoy at the moment, but nothing I love. Some of you may say that I need to try medication or therapy or what not... medication has absolutely helped with the anxiety symptoms but I still feel this sense of numbness or not enjoying things. Does anyone else feel this way too? Any advice? Really just looking to see how to move forward and not live my life life this ❤️