My life is just a big empty hole. My landlord sent me a 5000,- extra bill for electricity so I had to pay it and I'm out of money. I try to eat only one meal a day. I was happy that I gained weight after my stomach surgery, now I lost 5kg and it will be hard to gain it back. Fuck this life. I am on opioids (at least they're free at pharmacy with a script from my doc) because of all this pain. It's not only about food and money. I am 21, I live by myself from 16yo, my parents have a lot of money (they're divorced) but they didn't give me a cent when I needed it, even though I would sent them the money back, when I asked like 3 years ago. I am not even in contact with them anymore because they both have new families and they just left me. I feel lonely but I am grateful for my 2 cats, I love them. I want to be a healthy person who can go to work. I don't know, what to do with my life. I'm an artist, I make music, I am kinda succesful in my country but I do it just for fun, it's my hobby from when I was 15yo. I don't even know, what this post is about. Just venting. Thank you for reading it.