I'm in my mid 40s and have been battling anxiety and depression since my early 20s. I took meds for a while, seen many psychologists/psychiatrist and even been hospitalized twice due to extreme panic attacks.

Nowadays i'm mostly fine without meds or other help, because a doctor told me something that really resonated with me. He said that even men have hormonal changes throughout a month and that it can fuck with your anxiety. He told me to keep track of it by writing down what i feel like in a journal or a calendar when it gets really bad.

And you know what i noticed? I go through 3 distinct phases every month.

Phase 1: intrusive thoughts. It's the precusor to a shitstorm. Something gets stuck in my head and won't let go. The same repetitive thoughts all day and especially when i try to fall asleep. This usually lasts a day or two before phase 2 arrives.

Phase 2: anxiety, panic and depression. We all know this one. Constant anxiety and sheer panic and horror. Even going outside feels like a huge hurdle. You feel like there's an elephant sitting on your chest. Random panic attacks that make you feel like you're gonna have a heart attack. Weird out of body experiences where even looking at yourself in the mirror feels strange and alien. This all usually comes with a lack of or just terrible sleep. Usually last 3-5 days.

Phase 3: so. goddamn. tired. After phase 2, i'm wiped out and even after sleeping for 12 hours straight, i'm still really exhausted. Usually goes away after 2 or 3 days.

After that, i'm back to feeling like myself again. So roughly 1 bad week and 3 good weeks every month.

So, why the journal? Because my stupid brain tricks me into thinking it's the end of the world every time i'm phase 2 again. So now i have empirical evidence that i can show to myself when shit gets rough. See? We do this every month. Let's go for a run and then treat ourselves to pizza and about 50 episodes of It's Always Sunny and Philadelphia. It will pass.