Original post https://www.reddit.com/r/BPD/comments/5di8a8/he_might_die_and_i_might_follow_him/

Thank you to everyone who offered kind words and their ear in this incredibly stressful time. I can't even begin to express how appreciative I am for all of the support I received. 

As of yesterday, Brian is now awake and no longer has the tube in his throat. They have taken him off of his paralytic and are weaning him off of all other medications. The doctors say he has no permanent damage to his brain or heart and he is expected to make a full recovery. Once he is done in the hospital though, he will of course be taken to a psychiatric facility. But I'm just so fucking happy and relieved to be able to say he survived. As soon as I heard he was awake, I scheduled a trip to see him for tonight and stay the night in the hospital with him. 

I called his room today. As soon as he heard my voice, he burst into tears, telling me how sorry he is, that he doesn't want to die, and to please not hate him. I don't hate him. I was so terrified I was going to lose him. These next few weeks are going to be tough but the worst is over. 

Once again, thank you to everyone for your support. I have been suicidal before, as I am sure most of us here have. But this was my first time being on the outside, watching a loved one suffer after their attempt. It was always me being in the hospital, not someone close to me. It is brutal. It is so painful. I don't think I will ever be able to seriously consider suicide. Not after this. 

And to those of you out there suffering, and/or considering suicide: you are never alone. Especially in this subreddit full of deeply emotional, caring souls. We know how you feel and if you reach out, I can guarantee someone will do their best to pull you out of the darkness. Someone cares about you, even when you are unable to care about yourself. You are all amazing. Thank you times infinity.  