My husband is currently away visiting family. (His leaving triggered a meltdown of such massive proportion that it led to my diagnosis...). It was very hard to hear what he had to say about me and how I have negatively affected him and controlled his life for 11 years. I am currently stable and in a rationale state of mind so I am taking it quite well and not letting it send me off the rails. But I don't know what to do. I suggested that he take some time away from me to try and regain his sense of self. I said that if he took some time away with family or on a trip (he is currently unemployed, so no reason to come home) that we could see if I could make measurable change. If I can change even just a little bit, it would be evidence that there is some hope for our future. He insists he is not going to leave me, although I expressed how I would understand 100% if he ever decides to do so!! He is a saint!! But he told me he is terrified that me telling him to take time away from me is yet another trap. All I could say is that I don't think it is a trap... And that I now have the awareness to put a plan in place should he make the decision to stay away. But it is so hard. He doesn't know what to do or say. I don't know what to do or say. :( I have ruined his life and he doesn't see how he can ever figure out who he really is. 