I’m trying to not take NyQuil Bc  was for two weeks. 

I’m really trying to hold it together. 
I feel like I can’t even be vulnerable because I have no other choice. 

I’m extremely holding back my emotions and it’s like rage inside.

I constantly am correcting every thought 
It’s tug of war

I’m scared to let the rat out of the cage so to speak

It terrifies me to feel right now

I’ve been like this since November, white knuckling it.

I’m severely suppressing everything.

I did just get a therapist for the first time

I’m extremely observant and I hate the nod and agreeing she does, I’m waiting for that to get better 
Same ol same ol

I want to scream so badly 
I feel like I’m silenced 

I also just got out of a relationship
Im also on my period which really throws off my moods for half the month.

I keep having intrusive thoughts

I really really really want to move out of the state I’m living in

Im trying hard to not be impulsive but quite frankly I’m fed up and HAVE been

I only stayed here Bc was in a relationship

But I have unfinished business here to do 
So I’d probably be able to leave after April

It just fucking sucks it’s zero degrees out 

Purgatory