Been trying to get a doctor's appointment for way too long, been rejected for therapy because I live too far away. Now I'm back at university and I'm stressing a lot. Because I had to retake and did a foundation year, there's a possibility I won't get my funding for my final year. I lost my job and can't seem to find a new one. On top of all this and more I try to open up to my parents but they blame my mental on the fact I'm not lazy or strict enough with myself. I admit that I'm really really not doing well and day to day tasks are too difficult and all they can say is well it'll be less difficult once they're done. I then admit on a different day about harming thoughts but they just brush over it and just keep reiterating that I should never take medication. 

I just feel like I'm stuck in this loop of feeling too overwhelmed by so many little things and I just need to know what the hell to do. I'm stuck between try my best to see the doctor and try to help myself out or admit to myself that yes I should call someone or the hospital if I am in a danger to myself, it's not me being selfish it's me trying to look out for myself