Apologies in advance for the long read,I need to get this off my chest. A couple years ago I mentioned to my psych I wanted to get evaluated for a PD, as I felt anxiety and major depression didn’t quite explain the extent of my psychological issues. 

I asked about BPD initially, and my psych immediately went “you don’t strike me as borderline. I have never felt unsafe or uncomfortable during our appointments”, which, first of all, you’re a bad psych for even saying that, but that aside for now. 

Anyway. She eventually gave in, talked me through shit, had me answer several questionnaires which she evaluated and we discussed, and she came back saying that she can’t pin point one PD specifically as I met almost all necessary diagnostic criteria for BPD, AVPD and schizotypical. So she said PDNOS. I just ran with it, as I was happy to have a diagnosis that could partially explain the extent to which I struggle. 

I’m also autistic, and psychology is a special interest of mine. Probably my biggest one as well. Reading up on these PDs, learning about them, I don’t relate to AVPD and STPD(? Abbreviations are hard) nearly as much as I do to BPD. So, after a while, I dropped the NOS, and when prompted just said it’s BPD. On one hand, it feels right as it best explains my struggles both in intensity and frequency, but I can’t help but feel some kind of imposter syndrome and feel like I may be invalidating or taking away from those that do have a proper BPD dx (not to say self dx is invalid or wrong. I’m sorry if my wording does come across as invalidating. It’s really not my intention.) (also honestly what is there to take away… but still)

A friend suggested I get a reevaluation. I have already received CBT, and I’m on mood stabilizers. I don’t currently see any medical benefit from getting a reeval from maybe DBT. However, due to personal reasons getting a reeval holds no benefit for me medically, not currently or ever. 

If anyone has any input at Al on this, I appreciate it. Even if it means getting told off. 

Thank you for reading. And apologies if this is the wrong flair, please correct me.