This is my first time ever posting on reddit, so I apologize for anything in advance. (I apologize for my English/Grammar as well)

Today I felt very disappointed in myself. I did not get many things done, and I feel tired and in pain. I had a bit of an identity crisis, and I felt I wasn't good for anything. I feel like it isn't even worth trying to make it through the night. I have very little interactions. During the day I don't get to talk to anyone that often. Sometimes I have short interactions with my mom or my brother, but no one actually wants to talk to me or even have me in their presence. I understand that at times my family is busy, but I just wish I could spend any time with anyone.

I'm trapped in an endless cycle of waking up in the morning, having nothing to look forward to, school assignments (keeping myself focused and awaking while doing so), then at the end of the day, I turn my TV on so that I can make it through the night without having another panic attack.

I pretty much have to maladaptive daydream through my days to keep my self from thinking about how much I can't take this anymore. So I don't have to think about how alone I am. The stupid thing about it is that I know my life isn't bad. I have food to eat (kinda) a roof over my head, and bed to sleep in. But nonetheless, I have a never-ending feeling of being tired, anxious, and lonely. I feel like I am losing my mind, and I am really scared.


If you made it to the end, thank you for listening (or reading, rather). I just think I needed to get it all out.