My SO and I have been together for nearly 3 years now and tbh it feels like he's completely emotionally drained. After years of suffering my ridiculous episodes and explosive tantrums, he's become so resentful towards me. 

These days, I've been doing well to keep my episodes at a minimum and my BPD is much more controlled than say, last year. However, he's so easily angered by the slightest sign of an incoming episode, or maybe if I get a little upset about something dumb. It hurts and confuses me because he used to be so loving and patient with me before, even with the worst side of my BPD. Now the slightest implication that a fight is about to start will set him off. He'll either yell at me or ignore me completely. It makes me so guilty because I feel like I changed too late. If I had been like this before, he would have never grown to resent me so much. 

I honestly feel like crying as I type this because I just want him to treat me like he used to. I feel like our old relationship is dead and now I feel like I have to continuously be super aware of myself, because if I slip up even a bit, he'll become furious with me. I don't want to leave him, and I definitely don't want him to leave me. He still takes care of me but the romance in our relationship feels stagnant. He rarely tells me he loves me unless I say it first, but last year he would text me 'I love you' every night. I can't help but to keep comparing things to how they used to be. 

Is there any way I can get him to love me that way again? Or is he just over me? We've been together for so long and I can't imagine myself with anyone else. Please, there has to be a way to revive this relationship.