How can this be life? Humans have evolved to ensure survival, where did it go all wrong for me? It just makes me think that clearly if my brain goes against the human instinct to survive maybe I’m just not supposed to be here anymore. I don’t understand how my brain can get so poorly, even on a “good day” I can’t go a whole day without the thought of death or suicide crossing my mind. Depressive dips that come out of NOWHERE without a trigger, without arguments without anyone else triggering, without even thinking of my FP my brain goes there all on its own. What is the actual science behind this? (seriously if you have a theory please write below)

my old therapist kept saying there *must* be a trigger but what if sometimes there just isn’t? 

I don’t know how I can go on much longer.