I don’t know if it’s just a me thing, but a lot of times, I feel like I need to be special or have something about me that makes me special. When I’m around friends, I feel like the one that fades into the background. I feel like I’m just me. Not the pretty one or the smart one etc. 
I want to be loved and remembered and I want to feel special, and when I don’t, I just shut down and isolate myself from everyone and everything.