24/f.aus. I've never had many friendships that lasted. Was in a relationship for 7 years and he moved away/ broke things off over the phone. Had mutual friends with him that saw me all of once this year since he broke things off. I don't think I'm a very good person. Been struggling with alcohol addiction for 5 years and I just can't stop. When I drink I communicate poorly &amp; say awful things. Is that just who I am though? How do you come to terms or accept that you're a shitty person deep down. I try to change &amp; improve but my evil, trash face keeps reering it's ugly head. I've always identified as being a caring person but maybe that's just not the case? I feel like I'm spiralling.... I don't know what to do. I kinda feel like dissapearing sometimes.