We had a fight and it spiralled out of control, so a few days later we cut each other out of our lives out of spite and anger. It hurt so bad at first. I tried to ignore my emotions but honestly it was a lot of hurt and fear that it was really over. Years of friendship totally gone. One of my worst fears had actually happened.

Then I hear from a mutual friend that she wants to apologise and she’s aware we were both being petty fucks and all of a sudden I just feel numb. Perhaps relieved at first that she seemed to have cooled down in terms of her anger but other than that, I just feel no urge or motivation to fix this friendship.

It’s weird to me because throughout our friendship I always felt overly attached, feeling shitty whenever she replied me less frequently, fearing when we would drift apart or our friendship would end etc. And now that the latter has happened, somehow I don’t feel a thing anymore? I’m really confused - I know it’s best that I fix things so I don’t regret losing her in the future but for now I truly feel like i’m in a slump yet for some reason it seems like I couldn’t care less about wasting a friendship just like that. I went from bawling my eyes out over the mere fear of her leaving to not caring that she’s gone, or at least that’s how it seems.