I can't do it anymore. 

I've supported my very best friend through constant ER trips, close calls, and late night breakdowns. I've tried to get her help. She constantly tells me she doesn't feel loved, but I try and show her all the time how much I love her. 

She almost killed herself last night. She said she doesn't do enough for people. She thinks her life is a mess. I can't keep telling her that she's worth the world to me, even though I have to. 

And these past few months, my mental health has spiraled downward. I'm relapsing my old BPD diagnosis from High School. Hard. 

I can't do it. Every suicide attempt she has is evidence of my own failure. It's pushing me deeper, but I don't want her to let go. 