Hi. As of June of 2020, I've suspected that I have some mental health issues that make it hard to perform basic tasks (cleaning, studying, etc) as well as a form of social anxiety. So far I've done well in learning about mindfulness and other treatment options, as well as just more about myself and my limits in general, and I can say that I've made small but noticeable improvements concerning my health and overall well-being.

That is until a couple of days ago. Each night for 3 night in a row I've been suffering from extremely hard hitting bouts of depression and self depricating thoughts and havent gotten more than ~10 hrs of sleep collectively across the past 3 days. I feel that I've been functionally depressed for ~5 years now, however I was still able to overcome it enough for me to manage it. I've had similar moments like this in the past, but they usually blow over in the morning and have never been this severe before. 


I used to enjoy walking with my dog out in nature and but because of my work schedule I would sometimes have to go at night, which wasnt bad, but I typically would prefer daytime hours. Today is my first day off in 4 days, but I found myself feeling tortured by the sunlight this morning; I was literally angry upon seeing the sun. I've since blocked my windows and doors to my room, and I'm currently sitting in complete darkness, peacefully.

This is all so new and I really thought I would be back to feeling normal by now but I'm not and its really stressing me out. I dont have money for literally any type of mental health treatment, its not, never was, and probably never will be an option for me, and because of that I feel hopeless. Is there anything at all I could possibly do to get over this?