I dont know if this falls under depression or under something else.  Is there anyone else that constantly self-sabotage's things in their life, making sure they can't enjoy them?  For example, you have a lot of time off from work for the holidays (time off work gives everyone) and about a day or so before the start of it, you will find something to make you worry about work, give yourself anxiety, and live like that throughout the time off.  At the end of the time off, you then tell yourself that "Man, you really wasted all that time off with anxiety worry.  That was pretty stupid of you".  


Rinse and repeat for many other things / situations that come up where you should enjoy yourself, but that something inside just will not allow that to happen.  And that something does a damn good job of making sure it doesnt happen, to the point you just stop trying and ride it out......  


Sound familiar to anyone else?