Hello,

first of all, a short preamble. Yes this post is about a missing cat, there are infinitely worse problems to have in life and I do have a daughter and do not mistake my cat for a kid.  


But still, I am missing my cat horribly and can't fucking stand the idea of not being able to find her. Everything in my life seems so pointless now until I find her. I have a dreamjob I don't care for now, my day to day life is just a chore and I am just not into taking care of my daughter (which of course I do, pretending). I lost appetite to my hobbies. I am overly agressive and feel guilty whenever I smile, instantly thinking : "fuck you piece of shit, you are smiling while your cat might be needing your help?!".

I am doing everything I can to find her (posters everywhere, everyday, went on to check gardens, caves, garages, posters in mailboxes of every house around me, contacted the road service to check if they found a dead cat on the road, notified the authorities she's gone missing with ther ID number of her microchip, posted TONS of online ads, went at night calling for her, walked around the town for serveral hours for the past 2 weeks, I even planted for several days a trail cam in the garden of someone to check if the cat that was seen was her).

I absolutely cannot stand the idea of me going into a warm bed at night while she might be struggling outdoor. I just hope she found a shelter someone and a few people to feed her (there are alot of people doing that around where I live). I am relentless and have still no good clues of what happened or where she is. 

I even went through a disease in my life and I feel like I have a worse time with this right now. Worse case scenario I would have been fucked by an illness (can still happen any day by the way, but stable for now), but this would have been only me. Here it is the question of another living being whose safety relies on me, and I fucking failed miserably at that, I can't stand it.

TLDR; My cat has gone missing and it is destroying my life at the moment.