Long post ahead. TLDR, go from fine to depressed/slightly suicidal to slightly paranoid about my relationship to fine again on the span of like 1-1.5 hours.

Today for the most part has been kinda "meh". Went through 90% of my day just emotionally indifferent, then around 6, I was thinking about a test I had taken an hour before (im in college) and how I got a lot of questions wrong and how I most likely failed, then before I knew it I was almost crying and debating on dropping out of college and wanting to kill myself. *I don't see any point in trying, im gonna fail at college like I do most everything else. Im stupid compared to most everyone in my class and practically everyone I know. I don't know why I was even given life in the first place...* all the usual self-deprecation I deal with kinda hourly

Then thinking of college reminded me of my boyfriend, who is doing really well in his classes so far--he's studying everyday and reading and doing all his assignments, while I sit on my ass in front of the tv and avoid my homework all day.

Then THAT got me thinking of how Ive barely texted him all day, which took my mind down that "oh my god he hates me, he never loved me at all. He doesn't care about me, he's doing more important things, he thinks I'm boring and not worth talking to. He's going to leave me because he's bored of me. And there's nothing I can do to stop him because he's going to do it regardless of what I say or think" track.

Now I'm just sitting on my bed and debating on whether or not I should self harm. Emotionally, I'm in between blank,  self-hating, and just empty and hollow.

This all happened in the span of like 1-1.5 hours too. I feel like its always been like this, rapid mood swings, but idk... it feels worse now than it has been in the past

To get back to this question! How do you guys deal with mood swings?