Just got back from a vacation with a person I love. I used to think having money and a job and a home and a car I enjoyed would make it all go away but it just keeps lingering. I feel the need to chase happiness but nothing makes it go away. I just feel defeated, tired and exhausted. I thought about jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge on my birthday and saw someone else did on the same day. I’m almost jealous, I was too afraid to do it. People say it’s just temporary pain, but it always comes back.