I've never really held a birthday party after being around 10 yrs old (like aside from the birthdays that you can't even remember). The biggest fear here is the expectation of preparing something for friends only for no one to come. Second fear being if someone does think of going, they might find it boring and then no one would ever go to any plans I make. So I end up not making any plans at all and be at the mercy of when my friends wants to hang