i feel really low......i just need someone out there to know about it and like. see how much shit sucks.

i have so much good "stuff" in my life. but i feel empty and lost. everything seems awful. no motivation, even to eat. i don't even feel depressed as much as i just feel vaguely sad and apathetic. i don't go outside. 

i had a job interview yesterday and thought it went well but they chose someone else. didnt say why. i just didnt respond

have another job interview tomorrow, thinking about cancelling

i dont even have clean clothes to wear. havent done laundry in...a month? maybe more


got a message from another potential employer today. just didnt respond. i dont care enough anymore

i just want out of here. i want to go back to wanting to be alive and wanting to actually LIVE. right now i just dont want to die, but nothing about life seems appealing either.....i just want to get drunk and be a pathetic fucking mess. 

what is my life even for. it's so stagnant. nothing is happening. feel like a tiger in a small cage with no enrichment


please help, any advice, even just recognize my existence idc