I can’t live with myself. I feel constant anger about my past for this world. I have constant negative and intrusive thoughts about flashbacks to the past. I feel intense amount of envy for other people and their possessions and I have intense resentment for the world. Growing up I wanted to play football professionally but in the last year I had a huge dip in my form and my performances have went to shit and I can’t live with myself for it because it’s the only thing I’ve ever cared about. I want to kill myself every day