Where my heart just constantly beats out of my chest and never seems to regain regular rhythm. When the days become shorter and the cold weather begins to encroach,  my anxiety is through the roof. It feels like I’m walking precipitously at the edge of a cliff face, awaiting something that may happen during the day that’ll slowly crumble the rock beneath my feet. My mind never ceases to stop worrying.  It continuously tells me how inadequate and replaceable I am. I suffer in complete silence because I  begin to think the more I talk about it, the more my friends and anyone else I care about deeply in this life, won’t want to listen anymore, and they’ll leave. I was never one to believe in seasons affecting and influencing feelings and emotions, but here I am. 

I’ve had depression and anxiety pretty much all my life. But now it seems to take on a new form, almost hibernating within the fall and winter seasons, and I dread it as it sits idly, waiting for me.