The last two years have sucked more than usual for obvious reasons. I was only diagnosed bipolar 3 years ago, and was diagnosed with ADHD(inattentive) and OCD when I was 12.

I have wild mood swings and become easily frustrated at even the slightest convenience. I became irrationally angry when I am by myself, constantly dwelling on how my family has gotten to thrive in the world while being aggressively cruel. About 50% of the pandemic I have spent facedown, catatonic in my room, at times scrolling social media for hours.

Sometimes I have the fear that my bipolar disorder is something I’ve used as crutch to give myself an excuse on my underachieving and unwillingness to thrive professionally. I can’t get the thought out of my head that I am not actually good at anything and have no redeeming qualities, and that I’m scared to try anything out of my comfort zone but made it sound like it’s just because of bipolar disorder.

Does this happen to anyone? How do you deal with it? Any help would be fantastic. Thank you.

Does anyone else feel this