I tried to commit suicide twice when I was 15- and the attempts were 4 months apart. I swallowed half a bottle of pills- then an entire bottle of pills. I went to bed immediately after both times because I just didn’t care. 

I’m now 20 years old and my depression is eating me. I can’t control my thoughts or my brain. I can’t make it shut up. It’s like I’m my worst enemy. 

I hate myself, i hate this world. I just walk around everyday and feel unwelcome. “I don’t wanna be here” is always the best way to describe it. 

I don’t know what else to say- or what to expect people to say back. But I’m tired.