I signed up to be a driver for a company and instead they put me in as a driver and sales. We do cold calling and I'm beginning to understand I might  be fully incapable of empathy. I thought I was capable. However, what I've noticed on the job is none of the customers is present. All the customers are on autopilot in a memory of some sort and fully unaware that we're about scam them of their money(poor word choice). This is my first time doing sales because I'm on the extreme end for introversion. This is way outside of my comfort zone.

 I also have  a variety of mental health issues and the extent of what I have is unknown. I have childhood trauma, concussions, lot of injuries, recent psychological abuse from an academic tutor. I've been overseas as a tourist and had near misses with the 2015 sousse attacks. I was supposed to be there. Same with the Ataturk bombing. I missed both by just a day. I arrived Ataturk little bit later and there was still bullet holes in the glass. I was in city several years back and a pipe bomb missed me by couple blocks. I've spent childhood traveling around the world and I've seen a decent amount of violence, different cultures customs, etc.

 I'm having a difficult time coming off normal around the customers. My voice doesn't match the emotions I'm trying express. My voice comes off cold and mildly aggressive sounding. It's not good for business. I'm medicated on antidepressants and it seemed to be easier to communicate with emotions off the medication. However, the trade off is I'm unpredictable with rapid changing moods, extreme personality swings off, and I overreact to everything off the meds. I'm a trainwreck off of them. Will I ever get to a point where I can fake the emotions everyone else feels and be able to "connect" with the customers?