My passion in life is to create stories, either through writing books, drawing comics, or even making games. Writing is the medium of storytelling that I have put the most effort in and I would say it is my number one passion in life.

However, for as long as I can remember, the act of actual writing creative fiction has given me intense anxiety to the point where I can barely get any words out, have to keep taking breaks, and feel like shit.

I think this comes from the fact that all my life, I was considered a “good” writer — I even went to a creative writing focused middle school, I took many AP classes in high school… and then I went to college for a major unintuitive to me bc my parents wanted me to. (Computer science). But that’s besides the point. 

Now that I haven’t studied writing for years, I can’t even say I feel I’m good at writing anymore. I have no proof either. I feel like my writing is degrading — that I am worse than before and that I have no worth as a person bc my writing (being a “good writer” all my life was my identity) is bad. I get stuck on trying to write flowery language and torturing myself for an hour over 3 paragraphs bc I need to “prove” to myself that I’m a good writer and I panic when it (obviously) comes out awkward or forced.

I love writing and it is my passion but writing gives me such horrible anxiety. Anyone have any tips for trying to get me to chill the fuck out and enjoy myself and not put so much pressure on myself?