CW: suicide/body image issues 
....
Venting

So I’m on vacation. And I’m feeling confident. I’ve been absorbing the validation of Internet strangerz so I stfu. 

I’m at the beach. And I want a cute butt photo. I used to weigh more in high school and always had one of the best butts. But in trying to take a butt picture, I’ve discovered my butt is small now. And flat. And with dimple marks.

I’m having the time of my life and now I’m sobbing bc my butt isn’t what I want in 2 seconds flat. Struggling to have a personality has led my whole existence to matter in looks. I fucking hate it. I fucking hate wishing I could die every time I feel ugly. I hate imagining how I could kill myself because my butt isn’t big enough. Fuck this disease  FUCK this disease so much