I recently realized my teeth are yellowish, and ppl saw that. then I realized I’m a pretty messy person in general...I always remember then forget. Seems like Ppl cringe at me. I remember that I’m a gross person then forget everyone can see me. I remember that I’m cringey, then forget and act confident only to be met w ppl fake liking me. 

Idk what to do anymore. I pick up my slack, clean for a few days then stop and be messy again, I can’t maintain it. 
I cringe during conversations. 

I KNOW ppl think I am ugly. That has always been the case all my life. Which is why I subconsciously don’t care about myself to the highest level. Cause my “clean” and actually trying is just going to be ugly anyway. Idk. 
I’m getting back on weed just so I can feel ok again? Idk. Im about ready to give up. 

Can Anyone else relate to an extent? 
Or does this sound familiar at all? 
Or at I just crazy… why did God make me this way.