okay, I'm not the type to self diagnose and yes, I'm seeking a therapist and psychiatrist about this so I have a clear answer. I'm gonna be completely honest in this post so bare with me if I'm too open.

for a while, I've always felt like I had an alter ego but I just thought I was crazy. you see, I have a good side, somebody that wants to do good, be helpful, help the community and all that shit. however, there's this other side of me that's evil. I know everybody has their own dark thoughts but it's genuinely evil. I would consider it demon like. I think about harming people, doing bad shit and want to set the world on fire. it's not me trying to be an edgelord but it's the evil inside of me that comes out. it's mostly apparent when I listen to music, like people that listen to rap music want to act hard when they aren't about it. when I listen to it, it puts me in a headspace where I went to air it out on a open crowd and I wouldn't feel any different then I know now. I want to say this, I'm not gonna go out and do it. I'm using a throwaway because I don't want this linked to my account. this couldn't even be BPD, but I'm just a psychopath. I need some help or advice. thanks for reading