Nearing the magic 6 week threshold!

This is just my experience so please take it with a grain of salt as yours might be very different.

Context:
- 30s, F
- historically sensitive to small doses of Valium 
- pandemic exacerbated GAD
- GAD for as long as I can remember
- have trouble making basic decisions like deciding what to order for takeaway, fear of grief, slight OCD, history of depression, people pleaser, trouble putting self first, fear of failure
- Therapy, including CBT for last 10 years
- put off medication until now for fear of dependence and side effects

Goal:
- undo conditioning of anxiety driven behaviours 

*Dose taken before bed, with food.*

Experience

Note: data is a bit hard to track this week as I’ve been generally doing well so I forget to record my mood 

Day 29-30
- Weekend is always overall good
- went out and was not phased by things that usually trigger me
- felt normal 

Day 31-32
- was on leave from work so no real stressors or triggers

Day 33
- not particularly happy or anxious

Day 34
- I encountered 2x pieces of news that triggered me
- despite one of them being a big piece of news and the other a major trigger usually, I felt anxiety but it was short lived, and it was manageable with CBT 
- anxiety faded away eventually and I was just letting myself feel it and letting it go (this isn’t usually possible as I generally ruminate or get caught up in feelings of anxiousness)
- went to bed feeling normal

Day 35-36
- good, feeling normal in a good way
- no major anxiety 
- dealing with work stress practically 
- a meeting went badly and I was able to calmly acknowledge what happened, taking note of things I could control next time, and not blaming myself for things I couldn’t control

Overall:
- it’s hard to say if this week was heavily swayed towards being “good” because I was on leave
- that said, I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Was glad to feel like a normal person overall, and proud at how i managed some triggers

Optimistic that maybe 6 weeks is the magic number for me. And if it’s not, no big deal -I can just up the dose.

Take care all

Hope all is well