I have not seen the movie, but it's a quote I recently found attributed to it. And it's something I've had in mind for a while now.

I've been diagnosed with a few mental illnesses, and I'm pretty sure there are some that my psychiatrists have not picked up on. Not to mention all the unhealthy coping mechanisms that a shitty upbringing caused. 

I have an ex; let's call her Kathy. Kathy is that ex people have that will forever have that direct connection to the person's adrenal glands. Kathy and I started out great, but ended terribly. I have my side of the story as to what was wrong with her (lazy, no ambition in life, etc.), but mine are fairly benign compared to what she's said about me. She claims I was emotionally abusive, manipulative, controlling, and that I raped her. For the longest time, I denied all of it. That was almost 7 years ago. Ever since then, I've come to realize that most of what she said about me was true (the raping part, I honestly don't know); basically, I was becoming my father, which I had sworn to myself that I would never do.

When I finally figured that out, I knew I had to take action, but none of what I found was very helpful. Sure I'm on medication now and going to a couple of group therapy sessions, but when you live with something like that for so long, you don't know what counts as "socially acceptable" behavior anymore. Yes, I do know that most of what I've done was wrong, and I take responsibility for what I did. But I don't know \*how\* to change. And I think that's at the heart of what that quote was about. People may want you to be better, but almost no one is willing to show you. People may expect to deal with someone who's "a little sad," but they're not prepared for someone who has pent-up anger, autistic behavior, delusional, or someone who was raised with little concept as to what empathy is. Maybe they don't expect to deal with someone who was raised on insults and belittlement (you can imagine what that person will be like as an adult). What do you do in that situation? 

Kathy knows my background, but can never forgive me for what I did. Hell, even I can't forgive myself. But for as much as I try to be a different person, I don't know how. Who is willing to take the time, be a good friend, and show me what I do is or is not wrong?

Sorry if this sounds like a rant. I just don't know \*how\* to be a better person.