I'm not sure what going on with me.

First of all, some things about me: 22, male, German,  good childhood, kinda upper class live, had Depressions 4-5 Years ago, have good friends, working + having my own company and I'm dating here and there.

So my life is actually pretty good and I don't complain about that, money isn't much of a problem, sure I have to buy a lot of stuff myself and we have to safe up too, but no worries. My company is doing good and I never had a trauma in my life.

But over the past Year, I often cry bevor I sleep, like once every Month or twice, depending. Even more often I feel really fucking sad, so much that I feel a pain in my chest. And I'm not sure where this is coming from. I've made some online tests and I've read a lot about depression to be kinda sure that I'm not depressed, because I don't feel like this Everday.

I've broke up with my gf November last year, this was really breaking me, took me very long to get over her. It really crushed me back then. I've had several dates and intercourses with several girls since then, but not a real relationship since the break up. I miss the feeling of having somebody, to cuddle, talk and love. Maybe this is where my sadness is coming from.

I'm currently having something like a F+ with a Girl I like, she isn't ready for a relationship right now (went through a lot) and I respect that. Sure I would love to be together with her, but I can live with it.

My sleep is really fucked up. I stay up late a lot, either watching shit on my phone, game or watch smth. I try my best to get my sleep but I feel peace when I'm alone at night. But sometimes I listen to music and get very emotional, sad, lonely, depressed and feel this raising up in my chest, until I finally break and cry. The next day, like today, is a downer and I don't feel too good over it. 

After this I always have the urge to express myself. No matter how, in art, pictures I take and edit or like this. I've talked about this to some friends, but none really understood me or helped me, I think many don't take me as a sad person.

Idk what to do. I don't know how to deal with it. I just often feel this insane emptyness...