Why is it that every time I’m asked to watch out for what comes out of my mouth and how I react when my patience or any kind of emotions are being tested and every therapist doctor tells ME to be aware of my emotions and other toxic ways but it is totally acceptable and only human when a non BPD or a normal person reacts out of spite? 

They do all kinds of things to trigger me but I hold my horses and apply whatever the advice my therapist and doctors have given me to practice. And I am very understanding and aware of what will hurt them and avoid doing them. Considerate if you may say. 

But the moment I lose it because someone else is not so considerate towards me or even aware of their own actions and toxic behaviors and I react after holding my horses until I could then I become the bad person. I’m so sick of it and I don’t know how to deal with it. I can’t come to think of a way around it. 

I hate being toxic and I hate to hurt others. I also don’t like to get hurt or to be put off by someone  just because they were ignorant. 

