My anxiety has been at an all time high lately. I’ve just been diagnosed with GAD by my primary care doctor and prescribed 20mg of lexapro. So far the lexapro has done absolutely nothing for my anxiety but i’m only three weeks in. I’m currently looking for a therapist. My anxiety has caused me to lose jobs, miss out on opportunities, cancel dates, neglect my health/hygiene, and ruin relationships. I self sabotage every chance I get because it seems easier to ruin it myself than to fail. I have a new partner that’s been incredibly supportive but i’m constantly stressed that my anxiety will become too much for him. I’ve called out of work a lot recently due to panic attacks and what I fear may be agoraphobia. I’m scared that my partner and my boss think i’m irresponsible and lazy. I’m scared i’m going to be fired from a job I truly love just because I can’t get my anxiety under control. I’m desperate for something that works. It’s so hard to do simple tasks like grocery shop or take my dog for a walk. I’m scared of so many things. I’m scared of having a panic attack in public or embarrassing myself and not being able to leave. I’m scared my dog will run away while we’re on a walk and get hit by a car or lost forever. I’m scared my boyfriend will decide that i’m too much of a burden and leave me. I’m scared someone will walk into the school I work at with a gun. I’m scared of every little change in my health, terrified of an illness that will change my life or take it. I’m scared constantly that my loved ones will die, so much so that sometimes I fear it’s happened when they take too long to respond to a message or show up late to an event. I’m scared that i’ll never live a life that i’m proud of because my anxiety constantly holds me back. I’m so ashamed and embarrassed by myself and my anxiety. I don’t know what to do or how to manage it, I just needed to get these thoughts out of my head.