My fiance (34M) that I've been with nearly 4 years has said the entire time since I was diagnosed 2 years ago that it's not his job to change or alter how he reacts to me. Any article I send him, he so lovingly (sarcasm) calls it "homework" and proceeds to always see the fact the part of those articles core talk about him making any kind of change in how he talks to me, and since I am the one with the mental illness, feels that's "unfair" for him to have to do.

He has many times during or after arguments told me how hard it is to be with me. After enough times of hearing that, I have of course asked the question "why are you still with me then"? And the best answer I get the vague "Because I love you". My wording of that sentiment has also at times been more "why are we even together" etc. Not a healthy question to ask, but I don't think telling your partner repeatedly how hard to deal with they are is either and he disagrees.. defends it by saying he is basically venting. It hurts me all the same, just like it hurts him when I ask why are we still together.

We are so polar opposite on an emotional level. While I have logical moments / aspects to me, he is basically ALL logic and I am mostly emotion. I have been in therapy for over a year and am now waiting on DBT to start this week so I feel like I have been trying to improve but I have a mountain of stuff to change and these things take time.

I am currently at a loss for what to do and desperately wish I could I make him understand that how he reacts plays majorly into my emotions that I so desperately fight to control (sometimes winning, sometimes losing).

Is there any advice or resources you guys have for me on this? I want this relationship to work, but I currently feel like we go in circles of making each other miserable and he doesn't want to do any work listed in the numerous articles I have sent.