I don’t know how to let go of a past relationship. I have mostly moved on and started a new relationship with someone new who is amazing in every way but there is still a small part of me that always wonders how my ex is doing. Especially when something happens to trigger me in my current relationship that reminds me of my past one, I always want to check up and see what’s new with my ex. I have not contacted them in any way but I stalk their social media and it makes me feel super fucking bad. 

It’s almost like a drug at this point, every time I get really depressed I go and check to see if there’s anything new and even if there is it doesn’t make me feel better. I do not see a future with my ex and every time I try to imagine one it’s never good. My current partner inspires me and makes me want a future so why do I still care about what my ex is doing?

I think part of the problem is my current relationship is long distance and we haven’t met yet so I feel like we are a couple but I can’t fully imagine us together yet, in contrast to the many memories I have with my ex. 

I want to let go of this addictive trauma bond and intermittent reinforcement schedule that I put myself through. I want to be fully invested in my current partner because I love them so incredibly much and stop thinking about a person who is nothing but toxic to my life. Does anyone have any advice or gone through something similar?