ive been obsessed with my ex that I dated for like 2 months 2 years ago. ive been heartbroken since, I day dream about him all the time and I'm always wondering about him and what hed think of me, i live my life constsntly hoping th at one day we will just cross paths one day and fall in love. it feels stupid and childish and I have so many better options but for some reason im stuck on this one dude ! the breakup was stupid, classic me overreacting and then completely cutting ties, I'm still not sure if he even deserved it.maybe about a year ago I deleted him off everything because just seeing his name was like fucking getting stabbed in the heart, I loved him so much but ANYWAYS this fool just hits me up out the blue on facebook and I did the stupidest thing. I told him all my struggles , basically just vented to him. Ive been feeling unstable asf just from him messaging but now I'm like freaking out, I'm even paranoid to post this because what if he sees it (theres no reason he would be on here) I feel vulnerable as shit he told me I shoikd get help and idk he wasnt rude or anything but I judt feel attacked? like idk what else he would say I just kind of expected him to fix me I guess? Ive wanted this for so long and now I just wish I woukd have blocked him, I hate feeling like this i hate feeling like that crazy ex my friends are sick of me bringing it up and when I was emotional I lashed out at my best friend for no reason and she had a fucking seizure ! I feel SO awful and tjats like the 4th time I've done that to her I almost cut her off  and shes nothing but good to me  I feel like a mess ive been switching up all day and I'm just kinda over it, I smoked some weed and that definitely made me feel a little more rational but holy shit I just want to take a step out of my body for a little  the emotions I'm feeling are so overwhelming I dont know if im fucking ecstatic that he messaged me or heartbroken because I probably scared him off, I want him so bad but I know I need to focus on myself. I wish I could cry but my body just doesn't do that but I need a release . I think I may exercise for a bit smoke more then pass tf out and hope tomorrow me can deal with himself a little bit better than today. thank you for reading this, I just needed to vent,