Hopefully this type of rant is allowed

Background:
About half a year ago I had this really good friend, you know how it goes. FP, I just wanna spend time with them, no matter what that time includes. She and I had slept together a couple times (she came onto me cuz I'm terrified of rejection so I never make the first move) but she made it clear she wanted nothing more than regular friendship afterwards. That was cool with me. I just wanted to be around her whenever our schedules and her mental health allowed.

Some things happened to me (TW: r*pe/assault) and I reached out to my FP for support while I processed it. She said she would be there for me. After a few days/week tops of her "being there" which only included me messaging her a few times (literally at most 3 messages a day, stuff like "its in my head again" "i freaked out when someone hugged me.") She blocked me on everything.

I found out from a mutual friend that she did it to teach me not to blow her up. After two weeks of being blocked, she unblocked me, refused to talk about it, but wanted us to continue our friendship as normal. We hung out a couple times and it was cool. Just us chilling and watching tv, showing eachother memes. No problems.

I sent her a meme a day after out last hangout and she blocked me again. Found out from different mutuals that she posted in a vague status about how I was a manipulator by using my trauma to get close to her and force her into a relationship. She also blocked my best friend/her close friend because she knew my best friend would take my side.

Recent:
She unblocked me like 2 weeks ago. No friend requests or messages. But she isn't the type to unblock someone unless she has a reason (i.e. was teaching a lesson) and my paranoia has gotten so great over the past few months that i have distances myself from EVERYONE that i knew is or ever was friends with her. And with it being so close to April Fools I'm actually stressing she is going to try to talk to me as a joke. 

Now i'm not just diagnosed with bpd but also bipolar and her unblocking me triggered a bpd high which lead into a 2+ week (still going) bipolar manic episode which is heightening all of my bpd issues. Now i'm just trying to get some of these feelings out since i pushed all my close friends away.

Ty for listening.