This past year has been the absolute worst year of my life I broke up with the love of my life/ fp during a horrible episode, I relapsed, and my very slim illusion of an identity is gone I'm having a mental break down I don't feel comfortable around anyone in my life I've gotten to the point where I actually have no one because I have pushed every away with my bpd I genuinely do not want to continue on with life my life has always been painful asf and hard but this year it really reached a new low I finally had future plans and goals and now I just don't identify with them I'm starting to not like everyone around me every single fucking thing is overwhelming and irritating I just want to lay in bed binge eat my comfort cookies and pretend the world outside doesn't exist and waste my savings online shopping and I think im gonna let myself because honestly I'm fucking exhausted I just want to never talk to another human being again I can't handle anymore pain