Every time my husband and I have a fight, or he lashes out and leaves (even though he returns later) the emotions I feel are so intense that I start thinking about leaving him. I sometimes fantasize about having a relationship even with complete strangers. Recently I met someone for the first time and when they asked me if  I were married I said yes but I am not very happy at the moment, just because I was mad at my husband and thinking that I should probably leave him because he is hurting me. I worry that my husband will abandon me and I feel terrified of the situation...  
I blow the situation out of proportion and think that I am a victim of emotional abuse. How do I know that it is emotional abuse and not me making it bigger than it is? I have spoken with my psychiatrist about it but in my country, there does not seem to be enough awareness about BPD so this is why I am seeking your advice here. Thank you.