I recently stopped smoking "the devils lettuce". Sobriety is crushing and vivid in a way that always surprises me each time I quit.  

All the feelings are still there. The deep depression,  the loneliness. This weird unshakable feeling like I am sore internally.  Sore mentally? It's hard to describe.  It's not like my body is actually sore or aching,  but my mind is and it's making me think my body is.  

Ive been essentially self medicating with weed and  I quit because I was experiencing symptoms of psychosis. I was afraid of what would happen to me if I somehow,, "broke" my own mind. It wasn't good for my body either, wheezing at night now. 

Being without a job isn't helping and with this recent job loss I feel worse than ever.  Suicidal feelings have crept in and depression is masking everything.

I need someone to talk to. I don't even want to talk about this stuff,  I just want a friend to chat with and take my mind off of everything.  