Lately I’ve been apathetic and lonely. I have little disregard for my life at this point. I figure that I’ll die alone, so I might as well die young. I think about it a lot, honestly. I do a lot that negatively impacts my health, and everyday I think that maybe one of these things I do will snowball and finally take me out. If it does, mission accomplished, if it doesn’t, I guess I’ll keep on going. My passions in life are behind me, and I’ve given up on dating and making new friends. I still have friends now, but I kinda just count the days until we finally fall out of touch. The only thing I can do that only really helps anymore is get drunk, that’s pretty much the only thing that makes me feel good anymore. Sure I could make changes to my life, but will that really change the course I’m on now?