I feel so weird. I go through these seemingly endless bouts of numbness. I can’t relate to anyone. I cant empathize and it feels like it’s eating me alive painlessly.  I don’t know how to stop it. I don’t cry and I don’t understand when other people do. I’m a functional person and I hold conversations and have friends, but it’s so unfulfilling. I feel like I’m not living a life. No one appeals to me, nothing excites me, I don’t understand anyone and I don’t see a point in friendship. I sound like an edge lord, but it makes me feel like a zombie. I don’t feel pain and I hardly feel joy. I feel so trapped by it. It’s exhausting just waiting around for something to make me appreciate life for about 3 months until I come back to this state. It’s an endless loop. It becomes such a joyless life when all I do is sit and analyze interactions and plan my own ahead of time. 

BPD is my only diagnoses so I am hoping that this is common and that others can relate to this