Today I kept thinking “what if I killed myself?” over and over. I also kept envisioning myself shooting myself in the head. I find that these thoughts happen more when I’m half asleep. When I’m in that state I have less control over what thoughts and memories pop up. It’s like I’m not even in control of my own brain. So on most days my first thoughts of the day are these disturbing ass thoughts and I’m just supposed to carry that with me all day. What can I do about this? I’m getting so tired. I just really need help. I have adhd, MDD, anxiety, and possibly c-ptsd but the latter hasn’t been confirmed if that info helps