I have BPD/PTSD/GAD and depression and am also a Christian (not a very good one), and I have MANY LGBTQ friends and I love them to absolute bits! Have always supported and loved them for who they are and NEVER have I judged them just because I believe in God and Christ. 

But I have struggled with developing sexual feelings for older women for a verrrry long time. I don’t know if it’s because I have borderline that I am getting such strong ass feelings for these women but I find it affects my life immensely, for the very fact that I sabotage any friendship I develop with an older woman out of pure fear that I’ll act on my sexual attraction to them. I am so confused because I have no hate or judgement against anyone who has same-sex attractions, yet I judge myself. Just thinking about me having these feelings makes me want to commit unalive! Any advice?