I am a lost cause. I was just feeling so confident after talking to a nice guy on the phone for an appointment then I went to lunch, tried to go on the computer but it was frozen.  Then co-worker comes back early from lunch and that's when I went to the bathroom, bursting into tears because everything goes fucking wrong for me and I know I'll be the one blamed for it. I swear I am fucking cursed or some shit. And I deal with enough abuse from my family and don't need it from her too. I'm tired. Miserable at work and go home to the worst family. Can't even call them family. I hate my life so much.. I have to find a better way to off myself again.