So I recently went to see a therapist for multiple sessions, and at one point they said " seems like you have severe anxiety" … but I never thought of myself as anxious... ill try my best to summarize what I said. 

What has been bothering me most in my life is that i have a vision for the future I want, my friendships, relationships … etc. My friends in particular are a large part of my mental discomfort, they tell me time and time again everything is fine and they enjoy my company, however i cant help but seeing signs that there are things wrong. For example talking to me less, enjoying the conversations less, just more avoidant in general. I am the kind of person who cant sit back and let a problem fix itself, i have to be proactive .. so i force conversations about what's wrong, and they insist that nothing is wrong. However the issues I see, like not smiling or laughing at things i say, i see them do readily with others. This builds resentment in me, because i care for these friends deeply, but cant fix a problem when I don't know what it is. This leads me down a terrible route of monitoring their lives and actions to validate my beliefs that they simply are sick of me. I have these two constant voices in my head, in which one is saying your reading into all this too much it could be a million things, they do care about you and are your friends. The other voice says, don't be a fool and ignore all the signs, they don't want to be your friend but are too afraid to tell you. This has caused me numerous problems, where I hold these thoughts in until the 'bad' sign wins (for lack of a better description) and i snap out, and say something like "i don't know why you wont just tell me you want nothing to do with me, just tell me to leave you alone and i will and there will be no drama" however they always tell me I'm wrong and they do want to be my friend. These thoughts are constant, always lingering in my mind, i push and push to be a better friend, but then when I don't feel appreciated i become resentful. I cant exactly just cut these people off either even if I wanted to, they work with me and are friends with my fiancé. Sorry I'm rambling … but I don't know if I'm just paranoid and afraid of abandonment, so im seeing things that don't exist or I'm correct and I'm just fooling myself.