Looking back on a failed marriage, and long term relationship, and now that I’m a full time caregiver to my octogenarian aunt, I’m realizing that my only value is what goods and services I can provide to others.
Crohn’s disease limited my usefulness a decade ago, and since then I’ve been ejected from my marriage with two kids, home, and a white picket fence, to a relationship that ended when I stopped being fun, and paying for everything, and now I live in a room at my octogenarian bedridden aunt’s house, and wait on her had and foot (including all the icky diaper stuff)
It’s been three years changing diapers with not a single break, and I’ve lost my mind over a year ago. I’m lost, and I don’t even know where to start.
Aunt/my family offers no help, and I’m just so out of it, I don’t even know where to begin to ask for help.
(I tried for a long time at the start with doctors for more in home health care, but it all went nowhere.)
I’m so done with all of this.
But...
Gotta get the garbage out because trash day is tomorrow, and I got to get some stinky diapers outta here.
It’s my own boring dystopia.