I’m not excited or happy or sad or angry about anything. I feel so empty. I’m so tired of it, and I see the irony in being tired of not feeling emotion, but I don’t know how else to explain it. For the first time in a long time I thought I was finally getting better and didn’t hate myself anymore, turns out I just don’t have the emotional capacity to hate myself anymore. I cried today for the first time in 6 months by purposefully reminding myself of when my best friend tried to off herself, just so I could feel something. I cried for maybe 30 seconds before going back to feeling nothing. It’s becoming harder to resist sh urges because I just want  to feel something. ANYTHING. Pain, sadness, excitement, anything I don’t care anymore. I would rather cry my self to sleep every night and hate myself than have to just feel nothing. It’s the most dehumanizing experience I have ever felt with. I don’t know what caused this and I don’t know how to fix it. Help me please