The things I thought I needed I don’t. I’m too busy not listening to what I really want instead of trying to put a show on for others. I deleted my social media because the friends I thought I had I don’t. These people don’t support me, they don’t care what I’ve got going on, they were once my good friends but now we are strangers.. sometimes I can be erratic in the way I do things but that’s just how I am. I’m realizing I may have BPD .. it just explains everything. I’ve learned to stop telling myself ‘well what would they think?’ And instead I tell myself ‘well if you want to do it then you should’ I don’t need others approval.. I know I am fun and kind and I enjoy my own company and I need to learn to be okay with myself. Yea at one point I could say I wanted friends and stuff but it’s not happening.. maybe high school was the last time I’d have friends and in my adult life I won’t experience it.. idc anymore I do but I don’t if that makes sense