For context, I've seen four different therapists and tried multiple medications/exercise. I have also been "voluntarily taken" to a hospital. I am still at the point where I am trying to figure out an answer to the question, "Why *not* commit suicide?" Each day flows into the next: a mixture of things I *have* to do, work, and distractions. Unless I am lucky enough to die, that will be it, more or less, for the next 50+ years, all while growing physically and mentally older. I'm interested in hearing thoughts.