I’ve smoked on and off for the last 10 years since I was 14, I was only diagnosed a year ago. I tried other substances around the age of 17/18 but haven’t touched anything other than cigarettes and cannabis since. No matter how hard I try to not want it, I only feel like this when I’m high and can’t seem to get that through to myself when I’m not. The harder I try to not want it, the more I feel like I need it. 

I’ve started to realise that I do use it for pain and short term relief, but really I’ll smoke always no matter how I feel. I’ve always said once I receive medical help I’ll quit, but the wait list for therapy is huge and I still have another 6 months to wait. I’ve cut down a lot in the last few weeks, but still can’t go a day without. 

I’m desperate to get a grip on my life and I know quitting is the start of that. Any advice at all to help me want to stop?