you know last year i had 3 suicide attempts, those 3 were the first time i ever tried to take my own life. i remember sitting in the tub trying to stab myself but i couldn't do it, the third attempt i had was a paracetamol poisoning, i was hopeful that it would work, but as you can guess it didn't since that happened last year. after those attempts i had no will to do anything anymore, you know im about to graduate highschool and usually when your about to graduate you send applications to colleges, i didn't want to do that, so i lied to my parents that i didn't all of the ones that i "wanted to apply to", when in reality i only did the easy ones. today they found out, actually they only found out half the truth. my dad has been shouting about how mom shouldve helped me with the applications, and hes been shouting about how unlucky he was to get us as his children, he called our family dysfunctional, finally something that i agree with. i honestly feel for my mom shes been being blamed, but i still remember when shed beat me, i remember the most recent one was when my dad was angry at both of us, so she beat me with a metal pipe, though she did not hit me at her hardest, you can still imagine a metal pipes damage even at a low force. you know they never asked me how i was, or even tried to get to know me, all they cared about was grades. i honestly wish id died last year, i dont care about all these new movies, or video game, or whatever, i just wish this pain would go away.