Worth the read if you need hope!

I posted something like this before but I want to write another one. Guys it really can get better. It’s the most cliche thing to say but it’s true. The kicker is that you actually have to open yourself up and allow your happiness to come in. Isolating yourself in your room and never doing anything isn’t going to bring you any opportunities for change. Do you want to do something? Go do it. Go for it. Honestly fuck it and just do it. You live ONCE. Think about that. You can have this decision to make and if you miss it’s done. 

A big thing for me was always thinking that the people who recover in one way or another don’t have it as bad as me and that they don’t understand, you have to be one of the lucky ones. But anything can happen at anytime. Things really do come when you least expect it. 2 example from my life:

- I decided to sell my art even though for years I thought no one would ever buy it. I made $1k and gained a small following. 

- I was on Tinder with truly no intention of sparking something with someone. There was this guy who looked like a someone I saw at a party. He wasn’t and ended up thinking it was a pickup line. And right now he is the best thing that has happened to me. I’ve written in my diary over and I over that nobody would love me and I’d never be able to trust anyone due to past trauma. I have never trusted another individual before, regarding a dating interest. 

What I’m trying to say is that even though you don’t want to be here right now, something amazing could happen tomorrow. I was suicidal everyday and I am currently only thinking about it a once or twice a month. If I had ended my life in March, then I wouldn’t be experiencing a main character movie moment right now. 

Within this new relationship I have shown BPD traits a couple times. He understands and tries helping me out, as well as understanding when I become indecisive and split slightly. For example, in bed I will change my mind on whether or not I want to do anything and he has absolutely no problem with it. He is really loving. 

I never ever thought something like that would happen to me, honestly. I hope this serves as a reason to keep going ❤️