I know that the understanding of the causes of BPD are tenuous at best, but there seems to be some agreement that it has much to do with parental relationships/abuse and is in part hereditary. When I was diagnosed I was very confused since I didn't think I was abused in any way, but my psychiatrist mentioned that maternal figures that are neglectful emotionally play a large part in formation of the disorder.

My question, which is no more than curiosity on my part, is **what are your relationships with your parents?** If you are comfortable answering, were they abusive and in what ways? How much do you think your parents affect your BPD and diagnosis? How do you feel toward your parents now? 

I wonder how many of us share similar or dissimilar experiences.

My parents were physically abusive (choking / hitting) to me perhaps once or twice in my life. Beyond that, I never even perceived them as emotionally abusive. They took care of me and ensured that I had everything I wanted within reason. However, in hindsight I see that they also suffocated me, guilt tripped me, made it so that I never felt enough. They held me to unattainable standards, and even when I exhausted the limits of how much I could excel, it wasn't enough. It was never enough. I wasn't allowed friends. I was caught in the middle of my parent's marital issues. I emotionally supported my mother, not the other way around. They controlled every aspect of my life. Despite it all, I still find myself loving them and forgiving them, which angers me. It's all confusing and complex and I hate it.