One of my big downfalls is how I react to minor changes in plans (or expected plans), people cancelling on me and setting clear boundaries surrounding unreliability (ie I try but tend to either be too inflexible or let people walk all over me).

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Below are some examples of what could set me off (for context, don't bother addressing these individually I know I'm wrong, every time!):

* Someone asking me to catch up in a an area that's not convenient.
* Someone asking me to catch up at 1000 am.  I tell them I'm busy.  My plans get cancelled so I come back to them like 10min later to tell them I'm free at 10 and now they're busy.
* Someone wanting to catch up 30 minutes later.
* Someone asking me to pick up something (ie snacks) last minute on the way to meeting them.
* A guy I'm seeing not making plans in advance.
* Guy I'm seeing not replying to a text within a reliable timeframe.
* Guy I'm seeing not making expected plan in advance (ie no plans for next weekend and it's already Wednesday / Thursday)...

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I used to have this issue with anyone and any plan change, but over the last ten years I've gotten a lot better with friends, but mostly have this issue with men I'm dating....  I'm also very good with major inconveniences (ie like if my car breaks down, or we are facing a significant crisis (ie accident) I'm straight into action and know exactly what to do).  It's the small, unpredictable things that I can't handle.

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I find planning helps however if I put a lot of energy in planning I'll be more pissed if things change.  Some tell me I shouldn't plan or have any "expectations" but how can you just eliminate expectation from your brain?!....

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**Question**:  I'm looking for input from anyone who's experienced something similar - what strategies did you put in place to help you overcome this?  Have you been able to overcome it completely?  

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TLDR:  I get particularly anxious in dating when plans are changed and am interested in hearing how others may have overcome this.