Ever since I was a child, I have had massive dental anxiety. I would be sick to my stomach in the dentist bathroom before each cleaning appointment. Thoughts of the appointments would affect me for weeks before the appointment, causing a lack of sleep. And I would be surprised at the realization that life was supposed to continue after the appointment (I would see a calendar and genuinely have a feeling of surprise that things were expected to continue after the appointment)

As an adult, I just chose not to go. 

But once I became a parent, I decided that I couldn't encourage my kids to go to the dentist if I was unable to go myself. Also, what if I was anxious at one of their appointments, when they are supposed to be comforted by me?

So I began a journey to conquer this, about 7ish years ago. It started with using my anti anxiety med for cleanings and dental work (I would have someone take me to and from the appointments because of the med). 

Eventually I didn't need it for cleanings, and only used it for dental work.

Today, for the first time, I had a filling done, without any anti anxiety meds. Luckily it was a small and quick filling, so it was the perfect opportunity to show myself that I am ok.

It was a really big day. I didn't have any fear leading up to today, and while I was a little anxious when I got there, and briefly felt like I was going to be sick, the dentist was incredibly kind and compassionate and understanding. 

And it was all ok.

I had to share with people who I knew would understand how big today was for me