Just wanted to vent a bit anonymously so here I go. I am about to graduate college and I am a musician. I want nothing more in the world than to be able to live off of playing and I know that’s going to take a while but I’m worried that I am never going to be good enough/that my bipolar is going to hold me back from making enough connections in the business. I just feel mediocre and lame, and depressed that I feel like I have wasted the last four years studying music and still feel like a bad musician. My anxiety has been so bad lately that I wake up shaking with my heart racing. I was on such a great track to success a straight A student that could do it all and then some and then I started having bipolar symptoms and now I’m flailing. My bipolar started off with a major depressive episode and I’ve struggled with that ever since.I’m just so frustrated that this is going to be the rest of my life, I’m on medication but  I will simply never be as functional as before.