Sometimes I hate having Quiet BPD because anytime I feel comfortable or safe enough to open up to someone or I accidentally overshare, they never believe I have BPD because I'm not exactly like Trisha Paytas or loud and super obvious with my disorder. Sometimes things slip through and people get concerned but I don't always talk about it and I hate having people seeing me as the "crazy girl". But it feels so just absolutely invalidating beyond all belief and fuels my own self hatred and questioning myself when people go "oh you don't have that you don't act like it". I'm not making this stupid diagnosis up, and I would give anything to NOT have it and just have a normal functioning brain. And I struggle with it. And when I finally open up I get shut down because "no I think you're just anxious". The ONLY time I've ever had outbursts, meltdowns, and really expressed myself is with a former FP I felt the most safe with but they're gone now. I dunno, a dumb rant maybe but I hate when people act like I just want attention, no Karen I want help and support but thanks for making me feel even worse about myself.