i lost my father to cancer in june 2020, he had been battling since october 2018, through the whole journey myself and the rest of my family remained very positive and strong. a week before he died i remember being awake until 7:00am having an overpowering feeling that i was going to have a heart attack and could feel myself having palpitations. after he passed a few months went by and i moved away for university, and i would have moments of overthinking and panicking that something would happen to me and i would die leaving my mother and two sisters alone. i am 18 and over the past 3 years i’ve had to take a lot of responsibility and really felt it was affecting my mental health. in march this year i had to see a doctor as i was having so many sleepless nights and days where i felt like i couldn’t get away from this horrible feeling of doom in my chest. i have been on prozac (flouexetine) since then and after a couple weeks i began to feel the benefits and found myself getting to a better place. over the summer however i’ve had to deal with my fathers 50th birthday and the anniversary of his death and during this time i couldn’t get my prescription for a while as the pharmacy kept messing my order up. ive finally got back into my routine but i’m experiencing similar feelings i was back at the start of the year and feel like my body is out of sync. i think of the most random things and get paranoid about them when i know that i’m absolutely fine and nothing about me physically or mentally is wrong apart from my anxiety. i am only posting this in the hopes to find someone who is in a similar position and can relate to me i guess. I feel i’m struggling not having a father figure to look for guidance from and to relate to as i am constantly surrounded by women who require so much from me and i really struggle sometimes.