How many times have you said “okay enough is enough I’m cutting off the cycle” only to find yourself “falling in love” with the next person that shows you kindness. Or you say you’re going to stop ostracizing yourself and alienating people from you, but year after year you still do it. I hate my illness. I feel powerless to fix things on my own. Like I desperately want to change but nothing seems to stick and it’s getting to be too much.