Hello,
I’m sorry if this is formatted weird since I’m typing this on my phone. I’m also using a throwaway account to post this since I don’t want anyone finding out but I have a question I would really appreciate an answer to. I’m sorry if the title is insensitive, I’m just not sure.
I’m embarrassed ashamed of what I did, I hope someone can help me understand what this was. Since this could be relevant, I am a female, 17 and diagnosed with OCD.  
When I was younger, around 10/11, I completely had an ‘episode’ of some sort. I distanced myself from my friends, had extreme and random emotions and convinced myself and believed I could see and hear things (I still don’t know if that’s true or not now). 
An example of this would be in the school bathroom when I heard ‘whispering’ when no one was there. I checked all the stalls to make sure. I also know that no one entered or left since I remember the door being extremely loud, so I would have heard it.
I also believed my friends were talking about me and planning against me or something. I would go to lengths like spending lunchtimes at school in the bathrooms to be away from my friends. 
During this time, I developed an obsession with an old friend who I had an argument with and to put it bluntly, I was basically a stalker.
I also took a knife into school. I planned to kill someone. I had thoughts and I would have events play out in my head of me killing people. I was really close to doing it, but I didn’t because a teacher walked past. I then went into to bathrooms and I basically s/h. 

This was pretty much a ramble, with this whole experience I can’t tell what was reality and what wasn’t. However, I hope someone can understand what the hell I’m talking about. Thank you.