Trigger warning: mentions threats of self harm and suicide.
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Hi guys this is is going to be a long post and is also super embarrassing for me to post but I’m really hoping you guys will understand. 

A few months ago I moved into my boyfriends family home with his mum and her boyfriend so we can save for our own house together. Recently, it came out that his mums boyfriend had been cheating on her for the majority of their relationship which has caused everyone in the family to have a complete different view on the situation to her as she’s now taking him back. I’ve tried not to get myself involved in this situation at home as I’ve only been with my boyfriend for just over a year and I don’t feel like this is a place for me to get involved but I have been dragged into the situation. I’m at uni studying a distance course meaning I’m at home during the day and so is his mum as she works from home and she’s been basically using me as her therapist, laying all of her emotions on me and I’ve been the one to offer her the most comfort. I’ve even stayed up with her until 4 am on several occasions comforting her, this has been fine as I know one of my strengths from my BPD is I’m a huge empath and love to be there for people. However, it’s come to a point where it’s now 8/9 weeks since the truth came out and it’s now getting too much for me. This situation is all that is ever spoken about at home and it’s starting to drain me and the quality of my mental health. 
Last Thursday this all came to a head as my boyfriend and I tried to talk to her about how this has been affecting me and how my mental health has taken a turn for the worst to which she completely invalidated everything I was trying to say, she said things like ‘well what about me, this has happened to me. I’m suicidal, I want to sl*t my wrists and starve myself.’ This was particularly triggering for me because I’ve always been very honest about my struggles with these things and I ended up snapping at his mum and went into full argument/rage mode, I just couldn’t keep the emotions in anymore, especially after these comments. She then told me to calm down which I don’t know about any of you guys but when I’m in that space, that is really not the best thing to say to me. 

I’m just wondering if I’m an arsehole for reacting this way, I feel so terrible for losing my cool but when I tried to explain how it made me feel the next day she then continued to invalidate me and wouldn’t apologise even though I apologised for how I reacted. I just feel like I’ve completely split on her and I can’t see it turning back. I just don’t know what I can do. 

Sorry again for the lengthy post, I just want to speak to someone who may understand how I’m feeling better than anyone else xx