I was dating a girl for two years. We both wanted marriage and a family. I found out after a year that she wanted me to propose after six months. I wasn’t really ready at the year point, she was 34 when we met I was 39 and I know time is ticking but still have to be sure that things were right. By a year and half there were some severe ups and downs. Not violent but definite severe mood swings and shutting me out. She booked two vacations down south without telling me. Before booking one of the trips she got mad at me bc she had no money and then books a ten day trip down south without even asking me to go. I was ready to propose and buy a house at the year and a half point. We talked about kids, but she had to wait since she was going down south in December and would have to wait to be safe to be clear from Zika. So essentially blocking out June - February.

We moved in together after dating for two years. But she just seemed miserable at the time she moved in. I thought it was because she sold her place, so I tried to be overly accommodating. I took care of the expenses, cleaned the house, walked her dog, fed the cat and dog, and made dinners. After 35 days she sent me a text as I was coming home from work. Saying that it was awkward and we weren’t meant for each other. She moved all of her stuff out in a day. Continued to say things that we had nothing in common and we wouldn’t stand the test of time. Her moving out hurt, but the words were crushing. After two years she felt like this? Why did she even bother moving in? Then three days later she asked why I wasn’t fighting for us and that she regretted what she did. She moved back in. Originally I was planning to propose to her right after she moved in, but after this I wasn’t sure where I stood.

Three months after she moved back in she told me that she bought a house. Didn’t think it was working between us. No discussion or anything. I was planning two trips to get away and try and salvage things. When she moved out she told me that I was horrible and that I strung her along. And then when I got back from work she left a card saying I was the only one for her, she wanted to have kids with me, and travel and have a life together. I just needed to buy a cheap ring and propose. She mentioned all these things that were wrong with my place and never mentioned anything before. We hung out for a bit after she moved out. But I just felt like I couldn’t trust her at all, I’ve never heard of anyone breaking up with someone by buying a house behind their SOs back? It just ripped my soul out but she thought I was relieved. She kept calling me for help her with stuff there, walk the dog, to hang out and grab dinner.

At the end she told me things that she thought I felt and wouldn't even ask me about anything and everything she said was the complete opposite how I felt of things. I said that the guy you think I am is a horrible person, I’m trying to be with you and you have this other vision in your head, that I wouldn’t want to date, it was just so odd.

After all this time I thought If I had proposed maybe she would have been fine and things would have been better. Do you think a ring would have changed things? A friend mentioned BPD, and some of the signs seem to match.

She finally dumped me via text and totally discarded me. The beauty of social media a friend just happens to be friends with her new bf. She started dating him maybe three weeks after we were done. And after three weeks already pics with his kids on her lap.

I'm still struggling blaming myself that I ruined it as she wanted to get married and I want that too. But not sure if I could sense something off. Almost every time we would go out, to a concert, dinner, or sporting event she’d get mad at something and have these major mood swings. She never saw any of my friends for over a year. 

It hurts that I’m messed up and she’s already totally involved in this guy’s life. I really did love her and wanted to marry her. I wanted to propose after a year and a half but that’s when she booked the trip and did some other crummy things to me. I feel like I screwed up majorly. She has a lot of things going for her. But was not proposing what was driving her to be mad and have all these mood swings or were there underlying other issues? Would the ring have changed things?