My current situation has me looking forward to dying. I have a chronic illness ( fibromyalgia ) and it is very painful. It’s made my mental illnesses even worse. 

No one understands. There is only pity, concern. My own husband doesn’t understand. My family treats me like a ticking time bomb. I have few friends. 

I feel constant shame and embarrassment. I feel like a monster. 

I drive people away with my behavior. I’m desperate to connect with someone who accepts me. All of me.