it finally happened after being unstable for quite a while. 2 years and 8 months. she was going to visit me for christmas in just 6 days. but i continuously fucked up and now she is gone forever. no more chances. i am numb and im just going to focus on graduating college. im convinced i will never be in a relationship again. im too difficult, bpd controls me. i just told my family about her like a month ago too, very embarrassing.