 I've been suffering from depression for almost ten years, I'm 26 now and even treatment hasn't helped at all. During college I had to take care of my mother for 4 years who had a tumor, I had to give up great opportunities for that. She passed away when she was 23 and now my father is 73 years old and has advanced Alzheimer's, I have no life because I can't work to take care of him even with a caregiver. My head is all fucked up, I don't have the energy for anything, I can't study and do anything. For years I think about suicide and the thought is not even fear anymore , the only thing stopping me was my pets but i'm sure they will be fine. My father I know his sisters will take care of him.  I'm just tired of this life with no future, living in pain.  I've already written a little note to my family members and left my things organized. 60mg of xanax and a bottle of sake will do the job while I listen to lo-fi to relax and go from this one to another. I just wanted to record my last online activity.  I hope that people in the same situation as me can improve and turn their lives around, but that's enough for me.

&amp;#x200B;

Peace.