okay so... my post history has a lot more of the nitty gritty but i’ve been crazy attached to this older guy i’ve been sleeping for the last 6 months and have been since the moment we met (i was unfamiliar with the term FP before joining this sub and prefer not to use it but that essentially describes how attached and codependent i feel). a few weeks ago i told him i was suicidal and he immediately was like “i care about you but all i can do is listen, you need to tell your doctor” which wasn’t the answer i wanted but was the right answer. i went to the hospital the next day and am doing better now. this weekend he is taking a mental health first aid course, which probably isn’t related to me but he only told me  about after that and also did talk a little about what he learned today in relation to me. anyway, that’s not even the part that makes me feel crazy. the part that makes me feel crazy is that the course was 8 hours today and 8 hours tomorrow and i couldn’t text him for over 9 hours today while i was at work which makes it extra hard and uggggh why can’t i not text him for 9 fucking hours?!? but it sucked, and knowing i won’t be able to text him tomorrow for just as long, while i’m at work again, makes me so fucking sad. and i know this is not good. but i have to share it with *somebody* and there’s literally no one i can tell

also, fwiw, what i did instead of talking to him was finish reading two books about sexual addiction lmao