My entire life I have equated my self worth with work. Being regarded as being smart and preforming well in school was all that was important to me. I have always been told that vanity (doing anything to present myself well) is a waste of time. For this reason I wore frumpy clothes, never experimented with makeup, didn't wash my hair as much as I should of (lol) and didn't take a lot of pictures of myself. Friends and dating seemed like a waste of time because all they do is distract you from what's really important (which is working hard). Hobbies only seemed to be useful if you could put them on your university application which is why I did a sport I hated every day for 5 years. I did see that exercise had some value, but not as much as working hard so you know which option I would choose. Anyways I put too much pressure on myself and in senior year I failed a couple of classes that I got 90+ on the previous year. I got panic attacks and my confidence was shot. It was the only thing that was important to me. I have been in university for 4 years and I spent most of my time crying in my room because of my anxiety over doing well.  Earlier this year I was unable to do anything in regards to academics and  trapped myself in my room for months. I took a two month break and started to exercise/find hobbies. I still worry about my future. I can no longer do my dream job because of my lousy transcript. I have started to slowly do more academic type things like answer school emails and I have fallen into my old routine.