I live in the Middle East(I am working on getting out) and mental health here is a big taboo you, the only therapists avavailable is in a mental asylum and they are all very judgmental, I am gay and my living situation is so stressful and depressing to the point of suicidal thoughts, and my mental health is getting worse and I need to be focused and motivated if I want to get out, so does anyone know how I can manage the feeling of not desiring to live anymore for a year or a little bit more without going to a therapist? Like is there some pills, books I can read or anything I can do to manage it till I get out? Because it's getting worse and I can't really control it