So I was watching a movie with my housemate before and there was a scene with a wedding. The bride character had her bridesmaids all around her doing nice things and celebrating with her, and it just made me feel incredibly sick and unhappy. 

I love my partner and we hope to get married some day, but this movie just made me reflect on how I don’t have very many friends, and certainly none close enough to want to be my bridesmaids or even come to my wedding. I have had lots of intense close friendships with friends who became FPs for a while, but they all end in us not speaking and drifting apart because I split. 

Has anyone experienced this with their own weddings or celebrations? I worry that I wouldn’t even have enough friends or close people to have guests of my own, and it would just be a wedding filled with my partner’s friends and I’d be alone and humiliated. 

I feel sick and very alone and ashamed. Stupid movie.