i get really angry at times and when i do it feels uncontrollable and i don’t know how to stop myself. i find myself saying horrible things to people around me that i don’t mean at all and just acting really aggressive and even violent at times. my parents have had to call the police on me to get me calm me down. this is also one of the main times i self harm. i don’t know what causes it i don’t know why i get like that, i kind of just become a different person and everything feels fake and somewhat unreal. eventually i snap out of it and it doesn’t even feel like i just did that, it feels like i watched someone else do it like i just witnessed it not like it was me myself doing it. i end up making my loved ones hate me and not talk to me for days and i feel terrible for the horrible things i’ve said and the way i behaved. and also shocked that i could actually behave like that. because when i’m not in that mood/mind space/mentality i couldn’t even imagine just getting up and screaming in someone’s face or slamming my head into a wall or smashing and breaking things. i really just become a different person entirely. and it’s really starting to have a negative impact on my life, i’m getting in trouble from the police, i’m ruining my relationships and badly hurting myself. what the fuck is wrong with me ??

i’m just curious if anyone else has experienced this or knows anything about this