I don't know if I have BPD, I'm not looking for a diagnosis either but the unstable self image part is the most prominent one for me..

'I should go into banking, how do you start a hedge fund? how do you start a hedge fund in college?'

'I do like fashion, I really am interested, I should move to London and work as a stylist, I could work for Harrods, or maybe even creative consulting!'

'I want to be in tech, yeah I'll do what Zuckerberg does and I'll dress the same everyday to avoid decision fatigue.. I should teach myself programming'..

&amp;#x200B;

It's constant, I'm always flipping through ideas, maybe I'll go into Law Enforcement, I need to sign up for that practice course... and I've spent €200.

&amp;#x200B;

Even my sense of style constantly changes.. 

I want to dress in full Rick Owens, ok Lanvin sneakers and just a t-shirt and jeans, what's Gucci got out?

&amp;#x200B;

I have gotten punched more than once over chatting up girls with boyfriends, I go out, get stupid drunk and talk up any and every attractive girl I see, from first years to medicine grads..

I have horrific anger problems, irritability, emptiness, mood swings, suicidal thoughts and so on.

I have smashed light switches, plugs etc over video games, I get really pissed off over advertisements..

&amp;#x200B;

Sometimes I stop and think 'this isn't my life' I've gone wrong somewhere, I should be living a life like the Eagles, or The Stones... I'm not suppose to be here..

&amp;#x200B;

I don't seem to get as bad as some people have said they do.  
I don't have a drug problem (I have drank until throwing up blood while at college but I don't drink often), I haven't burst into tears over an off hand comment..

&amp;#x200B;

I feel like I'm looking for excuses at times, or that I'm at fault and there's nothing wrong it's just who I am..

&amp;#x200B;

I don't know..

I just remember looking up 'feeling hollow', 'feeling empty' and nothing else came up only crappy pintrest quotes..