I am currently being diagnosed with BPD, after suspecting I had it for the last three years but not mentioning it to anyone, my new psychiatrist told me that after our next appointment I will likely get an official diagnosis - needed not for validation, but to access therapy.
I am asking here for help from people in recovery, people who have recovered and no longer meet the criteria, or anyone with good advice on what works for them !
I won't get into background completely, but I struggle with 9/9 criteria, and my lowest point was two years ago. Since then I have also been diagnosed with Autism and Bipolar type 2, but I have had no therapy because of the UK system waiting lists. I have medication which helps a little with these, and am on track to receive a tailored for bpd therapy - I'm not sure what exactly it is, it's not DBT. 

What I struggle with the most is the intensity of the emotions and the speed of the changes. I am aware of coping mechanisms such as basic distress tolerance by way of distractions, but if at all possible I'd really like to get to a point where I don't experience such an intensity, the emotions being milder or the lows less frequent.

Another thing I struggle heavily with is relationships. I have a partner who I consider my FP. In the past I have been very codependent, to the point of being suicidal when people left me. I am working hard to keep my feelings private, so as not to be accidentally manipulative or hurtful to my partner, but the feelings are still there and they are a huge trigger for me. Specifically feelings of jealousy, suspicion, fear they are going to leave me, fears they don't love me enough, one change of tone or like of another person's picture from them can trigger me into a really intense, and unreasonable low. I split a little, not too heavily and mostly keep it to myself but thats difficult too. I'd like to be able to cope with this better, to feel less obsessed  and more independent, to not get heavily upset over these very mild things - and most importantly, to not have them be one of the main influences on my mood.
Sense of self and emptiness - I have been through too many identity crises, I don't really know what career I want, what makes me passionate and happy - when I have free time, I just don't know what to fill it with, and how I picture the future for myself, other than fleeting manic whims. I'd like to know how you 'found who you were again' or built yourself up from nothing, things that bring you joy and how I find my own versions of those.
Also just more general things: I'm trying to make my way through a DBT workbook right now. If there is anything at all that helps you in recovery or helps you cope, please tell me.
I'm really struggling right now but I have hope.