My boyfriend and I were invited to start a D&amp;D campaign this Saturday. Every time I think about it my chest aches with anxiety. It's something I've wanted to try in the past, but the commitment just feels so overwhelming. It would be once a week, mostly online, maybe once a month in person. Rationally it sounds fine but rational thoughts don't  really stop the anxiety. I'm having a hard time putting my finger on the fears I'm having, but I do feel as if it might have something to do with commitment.  What if I'm not feeling up to playing the days we're scheduled to play? I feel like campaigns are meant for reliable players but how can I be reliable when my emotions are so up and down every day? I am on Citalopram and I've gone to therapy for a few months, so I have a few coping skills I'm trying to use. I recently had to stop going to therapy and it's really affecting my day to day mood. I just wanted to get this all out in a community that understands. I'm feeling overwhelmed and having darker thoughts than I'd like. I want to be able to enjoy stuff like this and it's hard to not feel defeated when I've been working for months to be able to handle situations like this. I'm better than I was, but not good enough to let this be the speed bump it is and not a mountain. I know I could opt out of playing but that would probably cause more anxiety which is why I just feel trapped. No right choice, only anxiety. Forcing myself to do something I don't want to and making myself fear even more these situations and invites in the future. 