The memory is a little foggy, but I know for sure it happened. I (female) remember when I was 11 or younger, my cousin (also female and around the same age) came over one day to play. Let's call her Sarah. We were in my room playing, and I remember Sarah at one point told me to lay down and close my eyes. So I did, and then she sat on top of me and started grinding/humping. I asked what's she doing but sarah didn't respond and just started kissing me. I don't remember what happened after that but I do recall telling my mom about it. I asked if she was going to tell sarah's mom but she responded with "she's won't be strong enough to hear it." And that was the end of it. It was never brought up again. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 20, and one of the things that makes my mood spiral is when I think back to that day. It makes me feel uncomfortable and gross, and then I get upset and even cry for a little bit. I don't know why I it bothers me. How do I make that memory stop from resurfacing?

Edit: I've already tried therapy multiple times, it's not for me and I'm already taking medication