I've finished my studies at the end of summer last year. Since then i've been looking for a job. When i got an offer, i was excited : it pays well, and i would be able to get more independant from my parents. I was told i would have to travel. I was okay with the idea.I've always had trouble socialising, and i thought it would give me occasions to meet people. Hell, with luck maybe a girlfriend.

Now that i'm in, i'm angry with myself for accepting so fast without a 2nd thought. Turns out i'm moving every week, only going back home on the week-end. The places i'm send to are pretty hectic, and the endless flux of people constantly talking is nearly making my head hurt. Also, the travelling hasn't helped me so far. I not just that people are super willing to socialise due to Covid: i just think that my anxiety is anchored too deep within me to really improve. Every day i feel a weight in my stomatch, that disapear only when i get back home on the weekend. When i travel I can't even sleep well. It might sound stupid, but i'm used to the noise of a fan in the background of my room : it helps me relax.

But i also think that i'm being weak and a coward. I'm barely 1 month in the trial period of my 1rst job, and i'm already wondering if i should quit. Going back to spend everyday at home doing nothing bc i don't have friends isn't a fun idea either. I don't know what to do..