I’ve been spiraling out of control this past week. I guess I just need to rant. I took 130 30mg pills of dxm this past week, without even knowing firsthand. I think I might’ve had a seizure because I woke up covered in pee. I took 40 pills this one day and thought I died and experienced heaven. I even lied to my boyfriend about my drug abuse and I feel really bad. He forgave me, but I don’t believe I deserve him because I did lie to him. When I realized how bad this was, all together, I decided to call a substance abuse hotline. They actually were really helpful. 

I’m going to get my abilify shot today. I can’t wait because Im craving drugs again really bad. I think they need to up my dose, or Im just a bad person idk. I might’ve gotten triggered from the show euphoria too. Not excusing my actions though, just explaining.