I reconnected with a couple of close friends about a month and a half ago for the first time since this covid madness started, and last week I treated them to dinner when we were out with a group. I usually cover the bill whenever we would go out before (they are younger than me so I don’t mind). The past month though I’ve been going a bit overboard, without even realizing it, and I am worried I’ve made them uncomfortable by treating them so much. Last month I lost a family member and this month is the one year anniversary of two other deaths of a friend and another family member, and I already dread Christmas because it has a lot of bad memories so at this time of year I try to focus on other people because it’s distracting and stops me from focusing on myself and my problems and instead on doing something nice for someone else. I genuinely like doing things for other people. I tried to explain when I was talking to one of them last week after they were like “chill with covering the bill” that things have been hard and doing stuff for other people makes it easier to get through the hard stuff, but I don’t know if it came out wrong or if I just shouldn’t have said anything. It was over text and we haven’t talked since. I know it’s a busy week, but do I try to have a heart to heart and explain? Could it have come across as me being greedy and using generosity to feel better about myself, and making them feel like I don’t genuinely care about them? Am I making too big of a deal about this?