I haven’t cried in several years. This is the second time it’s happened. Initially, I hadn’t cried for 4+ years after I saw my family member in the hospital. Then I cried around 4 years later when I broke up with my girlfriend. I then cried for a month or so and haven’t cried since (it’s been just under 3 years). I just don’t feel anything anymore. Nothing really brings me happiness. I have a girlfriend of 2 years that is head over heels for me and wants to marry me but I’m not the same but can’t tell her because that would destroy her. I care about her too much. But even with this I. Don’t feel. My dad has cancer and it went away and now it’s back and will be till the day he dies. I know I he doesn’t have long but it doesn’t even make me sad. I try to cry but nothing ever comes out. I’ve been suicidal in the past and tried 3 times but I know how much people would miss me so I don’t. I’m just living for others. I play on my computer and watch shows to just fill time. I don’t know what I’m going to do after I graduate uni and don’t really care. I wish I could die from something other than suicide so others don’t know that I’m hurting. I’m not afraid of death.