Now, I don't have BPD. But, I definitely have something going on in my head and when I was trying to learn about different type of mental struggles, I'd come across a term people with BPD often use. That being, an "fp" or "favorite person". While I may not have BPD I definitely have one of these fp's, and this isn't the first and I'm sure it won't be the last. While perhaps I'm not fit to be here, you're the only one's who'll understand me. If this isn't allowed, I understand though. 

So the cycle goes something like this. I'm probably fresh out of my previous fp leaving me and I'm broken, I don't know what to do with my life anymore. But now I meet someone new and they gradually fill that void and become the new fp. Happens usually within a year. But, this makes me obsessive over them. They become all I think about all the time. I constantly crave their attention and affection. When I talk to them it can become more of me thinking "what's the right thing to say right now, what do I need to say in order for them to continue wanting to talk to me" and worrying more than just letting conversation flow. I hate myself for this. I hate obsessing over someone. I hate that they become everything to me and I need them so much. I get jealous easily too, though I never act on these feelings cause I know they're wrong.

Then there's the fact that I also want them to see me the same way. Why do I need to be their number one? Why do I need to be that important to them? Why isn't it enough that I'm their friend? Why am I always so concerned with whether they like someone else more than me? I hate this obsession. 

I've come here as a last resort. I've asked this on a couple subreddits, communities outside of reddit, many MANY individuals online, and none could help. Either the posts don't get a response or the person just gives me an answer like "idk you'll have to find out the solution to this yourself" or "I'm dealing with similar". I think I've recently found my new fp and it's not gotten TOO bad yet, but I'm sure it will soon. What can I do to overcome this?? I just want to enjoy normal friendships with these wonderful people I know. Usually I go to my fp at the time with any emotional issues like this, but obviously with a topic like this I can't exactly do that. Please help...