I'm crying, I feel like I'm dying. I feel sick, but I don't know what is wrong. I've been juggling trough many health related anxiety since June, starting from being scared that I might have caught covid, then scared that there's problem with my heart because my heart was beating fast for quite a long time, next I started to fear that I have diabetes, now I am fearful that I may have diabetes and some sort of kidney disease. Did a number of test and pretty much all came out alright, except for the urine test I did a couple days ago that found traces of protein and ketones. But the doctor only told me to drink more water. I haven't been eating well, only once a day. I can't even finish a single plate. I might be dehydrated, because I don't drink much as well, but I don't feel thirsty. I haven't been taking care of myself either, rarely brushed my teeth since then. My sleep is also messed up. I can't do anything. Every one of these is making me depressed..... I've been depressed once with a bit of suicidal tendency, although I will never act on it due to personal belief. I thought I'm alright now, but it seems to be returning. I feel empty, feels like I'm not gonna live till I'm thirty....... I'm tired, I just wanna sleep and not wake up, but I'm scared of death. Scared to leave my family, friends and my pets. I wanna see them always.

Sorry if my essay is a bit (or maybe a lot) incoherent, my thought process isn't very good right now.
I posted quite a lot on this sub.....I can't help it.... I feel absolutely terrible

If I'm being honest...... I've given up