Is there any truth behind the stigma of BPD? I 
dont believe i am manipulative. I mean, im not saying i never have been - its no more than the average person has been though. I dont believe i am unpredictable. 
Unstable, yes. In the sense that i dont know whether i am coming or going with how im feeling from one minute to the next. Only this has no effect on others, it is all very much internal. It takes a hell of a lot for any sign of aggression from me. I need to be pushed and pushed. I am a people pleaser and worry excessively about being judged or hated so do everything in my power to try and make sure that i am liked. Same goes for abusive, too. I am just not. I can be controlling at times due to insecurities - this had led me to ending relationships myself when ive realised that i couldnt control my control issues and didnt want to put that on to a partner. I know how awful it is to be on the receiving end of that kind of behaviour.

This stigma of BPD really bothers me as i have stumbled from abusive relationship to abusive relationship (which is very common.) I often think that professionals may believe that i was the abusive one and project my abuse on to those who i claim were abusive to me. Which was not the case at all.


Because of all of this i question my diagnosis