My whole childhood was spent hearing about how I cost my parents too much money or I take up too much of their time. They always made jokes about getting rid of me or killing me. They obviously didn’t want me except when having children allowed them to fit in with their church friends. They would take me to the doctor and then literally two years later still be complaining about how much it cost them. I spent so many long days locked outside with a roll of toilet paper. And I was home schooled so there was no escape. We moved every 2-3 years so I never knew anyone well enough to know that’s not normal. Or maybe it is normal and just not ok. I’m almost 30 now. I thought forgiving them and forgetting was the right thing to do but the feeling of being unwanted has affected all of my relationships my whole life. I constantly feel like a burden. I think it’s the cause of my depression. Maybe I shouldn’t forget. Maybe I should talk about it.