I broke up with my boyfriend (now ex...), confronted my best friend and FP about his cheating and breaking the heart of our shared friend, told the guy who flirted with me that I'm not looking for a relationship .

I closed those doors because none of those were good relationships. I was lying to people, to myself. My best friend and I have been falling apart for months even though we were denying it. It started getting to me, slowly breaking me apart. I noticed myself falling apart under all the people that were influencing me. 

So I choose the lonely path. The one that involves being honest with myself and my recovery, now I finally set the first steps to a psychiatrist. Doing the right thing hurts, my loneliness and pain is killing me, but I will live. I took a step back for school to get some rest in my head. I skipped the liquor store, left my blades where they are. Instead I ate a bag of doritos while watching Lucifer and I'm proud. Slightly.

