this could possibly be triggering, im talking about aging, bad relationships, paranoia

i turned 21 a few days ago and i feel like such a loser. does anyone else get anxiety with birthdays? i spent the last 6 years of my life inside of my room, too scared to do anything. i regret not forcing myself to cope with my anxiety in high school, i feel like i'd be different. this year i learned how to drive  and also am going to community college, which i am two years late too loooool. ive never had a job before either, and i know i should start there. i just got out of two bad relationships too so i also have relationship anxiety and feel like every person on the planet is out to get me. i dont want to spend all my 20s dependent on other people to survive. i want independence. i only get to see my therapist once a month because of money, but in the meantime, what helps?? i neglected my  anxiety for so long and even started to deny i had it. its gotten to the point where i daydream about a better life and have started to feel depressed that im not living that life!!! i want to accomplish a lot before im 22 (i want to cry typing that), so that maybe it'll feel a lot beter. i think aging is giving me so much anxiety bc i havent done anything in my 21 years :\\