I'm sorry in advance for any mistakes, english is not my first language. 

So, i've started college 1,5 month ago and honestly? It's a nightmare. I don't understand most of the things I'm learning. I study almost every single day for as long as I possibly can, yet I still struggle. "Almost" because in some days I wake up so tired that I barely can get up from bed. Even in those days I can't rest because I'm involuntarily guilt tripping myself for being exhausted. 

I don't enjoy life anymore. I expected that college will be hard, but I didn't expect it to be that hard. All of the professors give us so many tasks that I would probably had to give up on sleeping in order to finish it all. I stopped doing almost all of my hobbies because I don't have time for them. All I do is studying, sleeping and crying.  

I'm scared that if I won't make it, I won't be able to live how i've always wanted to. I don't really want to make a lots of cash. Just enough to pay the bills and buy myself something nice and not expensive from time to time. I want to live a simple and peaceful life. But I'm afraid that soon it won't be possible due to the inflation. And without college, i won't be able to earn enough. I'm scared of poverty. 

I can't even get any emotional support from my family or friends. They either didn't give a damn about me from the very beginning or became so frustrated of their advice not working that they stopped trying. I'm alone. 

I don't even have a job so my family's paying for my room, food etc. even though they're starting to struggle with money themselves. And if I fail I don't think I'll be able to look them in their eyes ever again. 

I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe this isn't the right college for me. But even if I decide to drop out, I don't know what will I do or where will I go because I simply don't have a plan for my life. And I'm writing all of it here because, as I said earlier, noone gives a sh*t about me. What should I do ?