I’m 21 and I’ve been working at the same minimum wage job since I was 17. I’m trying to find a better job but every time I try I give up. I’ve had a few different jobs before but I always end up back at my old job because it’s what I know. I get so scared whenever I’m about to get a new job that I find any reason to not go for it. I even bagged a good mail carrier position for the post office. A job with good pay and benefits and everything else. It’s everything I ever wanted but as soon as I got accepted, I didn’t want to do it anymore. I think part of it is that I smoke weed to help with my anxiety and any good paying job drug tests so whenever I quit smoking to get a new job. My anxiety gets really bad. I don’t want to do anything new or hang out in any social events. I’ve thought about therapy and meds but I’ve tried therapy and couldn’t get past the part where I know that this is just a paycheck for them and it devalues any advice they give me. Also therapy over the phone sucks. I’ve never tried meds except for Prozac and that didn’t work. I’m also worried that meds will change my personality and I don’t want that to happen. But on the other hand, it’s my very own personality that is anxious most of the time. I just wish treating for mental health was easier. Even if I decide to do therapy, any therapist that does take my insurance isn’t accepting new clients. Whenever I sit down and call a bunch of people to see if they are taking new people, it’s really demotivating when I can’t find one. I hate not living up to my potential and it’s really depressing.