When I'm in a depressive episode im whiny, needy and a drag to be around. I break down easily and am always one minor inconvenience away from "suicide". By suicide i mean anouncing im committing suicide then either forgetting i was suicidal in the first place or slowly coming to realisation that im acting like an idiot then being embarrassed.

On the flip side when I'm manic im loud, obnoxious, annoying and overshare. Thats worse than depressive me, its so fucking embarrassing to slowly come back to reality and realise ive just behaved like a fucking moron around people for an extended period of time. i wish i didnt feel this way, i wish i was normal so much i fucking hate it, everythings so extreme i cant deal with the constantly flip-flopping