I'm not really sure where else to turn at this point, I just kind of need to get this out there. I haven't struggled with my depression like this since I got out of my last relationship which was back in 2019. I have borderline personality disorder and am super used to mood fluctuations of this manner and feeling this bad but usually for short periods of time before I bounce into mania again ( oh the joy of bpd mood swings ). I'm kind of going through a lot of interpersonal stuff with my friendships and new financial stress. I'm getting bad enough that I'm struggling to get stuff done throughout the day again which makes me feel worse because I know it needs to be done but I just cannot make myself get up to do it. I either eat too little or too much because most of the time I really don't have the energy to go make myself food. I barely have the energy to go to the bathroom honesty. 

&amp;#x200B;

It feels like my friends just don't care even though I know that's unreasonable and they've got lives of their own, they can't be there 24/7 ofc, but I still can't stop just how grossly lonely I feel a lot of the time, at night it's the worst cause no one is awake and I'm kind of forced to be by myself. I really wanna get back into therapy but it's expensive and I'm not really in the best place financially to afford it so I'm just doing what I can and taking my meds, basically trying to get through the days and hope this staves off soon. But yeah, I feel really miserable and life just sucks right now. I guess I'm just sort of asking for maybe a hopeful reply or two? Just something to let me know it's gonna be okay, yknow?