i just did it with my partner and it was fun. i didn’t finish. but as soon as he did, my brain flipped a switch and now i’ve gone quiet and can’t speak. this is pretty much how i feel when i split. and i recently learned it manifests in a form of regression; i feel like a child giving the silent treatment. 

normally i can pinpoint why and when i go into this quiet mode bc it’s usually bc of something my partner has done (or not done). but this time, nothing happened. i never really cared if i finished bc i simply enjoy making my partner happy. 

i just feel weird.