so, zoosadism is something I've battled with now for years. it's this incredibly STRONG obsession with wanting to hurt/kill/abuse animals for fun. I have medication these days that help a LOT, but it's not like the issue is gone. and I just.. never see anyone talk about this problem? I can't find ANYONE else who struggles this way (and if i do find them they usually act on the urges, which i refuse to be around) 

I want a community so bad, some sort of support network! But I have zero clue how to achieve that, with how controversial it all is. Is this even a title I should use, is there a better term for it? how do I find others who struggle the same? just.. ugh its so lonely. and the only time I see people talk about it, it's SUPER negative. They act like having those feelings makes you evil. which isn't true!! I've worked my ass off to NOT hurt animals, having bad thoughts doesnt mean I'm a bad person. ughh I hope this is an ok place to post this, i barely ever use reddit.