I’m going to college in September and my mum and dad keep hyping it up so much saying it’s going to be the big change I need. Sure it looks good and the staff have been friendly and it’s something I love- animal care. But I genuinely can’t get myself excited for it, I just feel nervous and distraught and I just want to spend the rest of my days laying in my bed and not doing anything. 

I’m currently at a festival with my parents that I’ve gone to every year since I was tiny and I have just been sat here rotting. I can’t say hi to anyone and I can’t go anywhere. I feel like I’m ruining the entire festival for my poor parents who are stuck caring for my depressed autistic fat ass. My mum gives me so much love attention and things and they make me so happy but then after that I’m back into my rotting state. 

I don’t like anything about my life right now and every time I express the fact I want to die it makes my parents angry, upset and distressed. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do, yes i do therapy and take Sertraline and those helped for a bit but now I’m just falling straight back down and I’ve given up at this point.

Please someone tell me what to do.