
I’ll add a bit of a trigger warning to this post because my symptoms are very real and are unlikely to be down to Health anxiety. However I figured this was the best place to post for advice on attending medical appointments. 

Abit of background about me -
I’m 25 years old, a female. I have a long history of health anxiety, depression and anxiety in general.
I have two kids. In my pregnancy with my second boy back in March (he was born in April) I began experiencing excruciating headaches and vision problems. I have lost part of my vision in one eye. It is absolutely nothing to do with migraines on account my visual loss has stuck around forever, and gotten progressively worse. 

I have seen numerous eye doctors who say my eyes are healthy and fine. It all points to a brain related cause. 

It is now the end of august and my issues have escalated. I have balance problems, headaches and of course still, the vision loss. Something is clearly very wrong. 

My family care doctor has pushed me off for months before finally agreeing to run a CT scan. She has always said that my examinations haven’t concerned her. I partially feel some of this is medical negligence but thats another point. 

Today the CT scan department called from my hospital to book me in for the scan at some point next week. They left a voice mail. I’m too terrified to even callback to accept and arrange the scan due to the fear of them finding out what I know they will find (either some kind of brain issue or tumour) 

How do I navigate this fear? I know I NEED the scan but my god I’m terrified. 

I do have some Valium, legally prescribed of course, by my doctor who gave them me for extreme anxiety and muscle spasms so I’m considering taking a couple before my scan. But I’m so scared. Waiting on the results is the biggest deal for me. Not having the actual scan. If you see what I mean 

Thanks