Earlier today we went into town, and, whenever I go into town, I hope to see my ex-BF and old FP (see as in literally see, not talk to). Today I walked past his place of work fully expecting to glimpse him as I always do but he wasn't there. I thought I looked out of curiosity; I'm no longer in his life and I like to see if he looks OK, but this time I didn't see him, and it made me so much more upset than I thought it would. I was feeling low for hours until I cooked this evening. I like to cook every weekend, and I was so happy today because I cooked something healthy and delicious. But now I'm annoyed because my emotions did a complete 180 from being down because of an uncontrollable, external event, and then feeling elated because of an uncontrollable, external event. I just wish I could have some emotional stability, I'm so fed up of them changing at the smallest things.