Hello. I really appreciate you read the whole thing. I know it’s long but I need some input. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He’s been my healthiest relationship but months ago he was diagnosed with depression by his therapist. He’s overall not a highly expresive individual, he’s not that social and in general he’s not that open to people. I’m the opposite, I’m highly sensitive and I’m always expressing him how much I love him, hugging him etc. We share different love languages and that’s ok. The thing is, since he was diagnosed it’s been difficult for me to handle the situation no matter how hard I try. I’m always spontaneous with him, I try to support his hobbies, give him motivation by buying stuff that is related to his hobbies but nothing I do seems to be working. I really try not to take it personal, I have generalized anxiety so for me it’s really really difficult. There are days when we go out and he barely speaks to me, I need to be asking him several times what’s wrong and his answer is he doesn’t know, he is just depressed. He barely hugs me, barely plans anything, and for example every single thing bugs him sometimes. Some examples are:

1. He’s just bored at his job (even though his job is good), and because of that his entire day is ruined and he turns super cold with me. Thing that hurts me.

2. He gets super angry while driving, it’s stressful to him so if he gets mad because he drives, he spends all day annoyed because of it. I spend time with him and try to make things better but again, it doesn’t work. 

3. There’s too much noise in a mall, so we get out of that place and he stays annoyed all day because of it.

It’s a very lonely journey for me because I KNOW it’s not his fault that he’s depressed, but sometimes him being 0 affectionate and cold and distant makes me feel unloved and unhappy sometimes. I’ve cried about this so much now. Even though he knows how I feel; when we speak about it he says he loves me and he’s sorry, that it’s his depression but the cicle continues. This is why I feel guilty because we were planning on moving together but I honestly don’t know if I can handle this on the long run. I really imagined this man being the father of my children but i’m so scared depression is going to ruin everything, making me doubt. I’m thinking in doing couple therapy, i’m willing to try anything to save my relationship from this monster called depression. But I also feel guilty and a bad girlfriend for thinking about leaving sometimes when it gets too hard. Any advice?