I know its just a small thing but it’s 6am and I can’t sleep. So here you go…

I haven’t seen my friends in months. I live in a different city and since we are all in Uni we don’t see each other often anymore.

Tomorrow they want to hang out. Get some drinks and then stay at one of their houses.

The problem is that I am really really really bad at these kinda of events. I usually just wanna go home and be alone. Furthermore not all of them know that I have BPD. I got diagnosed at the beginn of the year and there was simply no occasion to tell them. Or at least that I what I tell myself.

Also there are also some ppl I don’t really know. And some of them are really toxic in regards to all of mental health.

I really miss some of them. The summer is almost over and all I did was staying at home.

On the other hand I’m so fucking exhausted from all my emotions. Even to the point where I’m in physical pain. Breathing hurts.

So long story short: should I go even tho I dont feel comfortable? I would probably regret it either way..