Hello everyone. I'm 34 years old. Back when I was 15 I was diagnosed as manic depressive. I was treated for depression and anxiety. I was medicated until I turned 20 when my wife at the time convinced me to quit it all cold turkey, telling me I didn't need it. 8 years later, we go through a very fun divorce. At this point I think I'm handling everything pretty well on my own mentally. Then I get with a girl that in a span of 6 months just ruins me mentally. Causing a lot of anxiety. Get her completely out of my life but any time I'm with someone new, I do get anxiety which I can't control. Fast forward to now, I'm now married to an amazing woman that is my other half. She is everything I'm not. We have known each other for over a decade. She has always been my best friend. I have 0 doubts that she loves me with all of her heart. I am a truck driver so I'm gone anywhere from one night to 10 days at a time. I have only started doing this within the past 7 months. My depression and anxiety has been acting up when I'm not home. It gets to the point where my suicidal thoughts come back and thoughts of hurting myself to try to subdue my anxiety are present. Once I'm back home with my wife, I'm instantly better. I love my job for the most part and the money is amazing. It's just I need to get my depression and anxiety under control and I'm going to seek help before it can hurt my marriage.