I’m 26 and have had anxiety all of my life and was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder at 16 but I feel lately (as in in the past year) that it has morphed into ocd. Without going into too much detail, my biggest issue right now is thinking about things I’ve said/done throughout the day and how I could’ve said/done something better or less embarrassing. I replay these events in my mind over and over and thinking about how I could fix it; how I could fix the way people think of me (totally irrational, I know). There are a couple of other things that I do that I feel align with ocd but I don’t tic (?) during them so I don’t feel the need to discuss them here.

About a month ago I noticed that whenever I’d have an intrusive thought that I didn’t like (this could be a memory in the day that I found to be embarrassing or any other intrusive thought), I would wrinkle my nose, blink really hard, and/or make some kind of facial grimace. Sometimes but less often I’ll suck my teeth in, snap my fingers, or stiffen my fingers. It doesn’t feel like a completely involuntary movement, as I can easily physically stop myself, but at the same time I don’t tell myself “oop, I didn’t like that intrusive thought, time to wrinkle my nose.” 

I know throughout my whole life whenever I’d remember something embarrassing I’d do a similar facial grimace, but it felt more voluntary like a “ugh get out of my head I don’t want to think about this” and I would forget about it. It also wouldn’t happen super often. But now these tics (?) happen multiple times a day every single day. They don’t happen while I’m distracted by something else, but if I come out of being focused on something else, I’ll easily have another intrusive thought which will usually cause a tic (?). 

I don’t think they have been noticed by anybody else mostly because I wear a mask at work and I’m easily distracted by family but in my mind they’ve become quite annoying. I can’t spent time with myself/my thoughts without it happening. I can’t help but feel like I have a problem but I also don’t want to be dramatic and say I have something wrong with me if this is just some kind of thing that I don’t realize that I can control. That’s why I’m not super quick to call my behaviors tics. I don’t really know what to make of this. Anybody have any insight?