Every time someone leaves I realize that nothing about me has changed at all, and idk if i'll ever be able to get better. Last night when I was swallowing the pills I just listened to music waiting to pass out. I woke up thinking "I'm still here I guess". I felt more fear over losing my friend than I did potentially dying.  I don't understand what's going on and I feel so awful making people worry about me, even though I just want someone to care. Idk how to come back from this. 2 suicide attempts in 1 year and I wonder why people don't want to be around me.