TW: abusive relationship. 
this is my first post here so i’m a bit apprehensive of even getting a response but this is my issue. i’m a 22 year old female and I have suffered with anxiety for a huge portion of my life. my anxiety first started with my first boyfriend. (very manipulative and abusive relationship) felt I needed him to survive. anywhere I would go, I would have anxiety without him there. he cheated on me for around 4 years and i had no idea the entire time. once we broke up, I felt so free. I went on Lexapro and it changed my entire life. fast forward a couple years later, (still on Lexapro today) I met a guy and we were together for around 2 years. there was no cheating or abuse, but again, I felt super attached to him and would have anxiety when he wasn’t around. we are broken up now, but instead of that free feeling, I have immense anxiety. currently in TX for a bachelorette party, and my anxiety last night was so bad, I took an uber back to our airbnb alone (45 min away) and once I got back I was throwing up, had chills, while profusely sweating at the same time. I had two white claws, so I don’t think that’s what did it. 
today, we went on a boat I stayed sober for the day and had a great time. took a nap, now awake and physically can not leave bed to go out tonight. the thought, makes me want to throw up. I feel like i’m so so young should be enjoying life and instead, here I am, laying in bed in Austin Texas while everyone else is excited to party it up. what is wrong with me ?