One of the only things I would consider myself to be good at is cooking so I was excited to start working in a kitchen just making starters, three weeks in and my managers telling me I really need to prove that I should be here because most places would of fired me by now. 
One of the biggest reasons I’m failing so badly at work and college is my adhd and it just seems like so fucked up how if I don’t take my medication I am literally unable to accomplish anything but when I do I’m able to get things done better and at the same time I get even more depressed and feel sick constantly. 
I don’t know if it’s related to my adhd specifically but I am also absolutely terrible at talking to people I am not close friends with as in if I try to speak to someone I don’t know very well then it is physically harder for me to speak and I don’t even know how to have a normal conversation.
It just feels like I don’t fit in anywhere especially since I seem so quiet to strangers that I appear scary and on top of that the fact that my closest friend often makes fun of me for my insecurities without knowing just makes me feel even worse since she’s the only person I feel as if I can actually trust.
In complete honesty I do not see how I am going to get anywhere in life and it doesn’t feel like my life is worth living simply because this is just going to carry on while I continue to fail over and over again.
There’s loads more I’d talk about but I don’t know how to put it into words properly and when I mentioned my adhd affecting me I don’t mean like I get a little distracted in lesson sometimes I mean it is seriously affecting my mental health and impacting my performance in subjects I used to be very passionate about.