I'm really, REALLY fucking struggling. I've posted about this, but my most recent ex (dating off and on since February) ended things with me. But I'm picking up on things that made my gut start doing flips, and I'm pretty sure he was lying, about a LOT. His cycle was having sex and then going quiet.   


But this isn't the only time. I had an old roommate who helped me when I was almost raped (like I legit had bruises, he let me stay in his room with a door that locks). He would do shitty things all the time, and I would always justify it because "He's not always bad, he helped keep me from getting raped". Dude got a snake knowing I have a phobia, said I was seeing stuff, and then hid it in another part of the house. Found it the next morning. He'd rather have me believe I was seeing stuff than own up to his shit. Always called the women in his life crazy. Found out I was on anti-psychotics, and used that to call me crazy, too. I always thought if the women in his life were crazy, perhaps he was the reason, cause he's the common denominator. But without fail, he'd ask me to come up to his room for some canoodling, and I'd always accept.   


One guy I was dating, right after my initial break up from major asshole, didn't want anything serious. Dude would smoke pot with my roommate, and told my roommate that he believes that he is Edgar Allen Poe reincarnated. Also told me he gave himself food poisoning cause he can control the bacteria in his stomach. So many weird things that never added up, but we weren't serious and the sex was fun. He insisted he would never get married again, didn't want anything serious, and then when I started dating another dude, he got upset saying that he really liked me. 

I've dated decent guys in the past, but they weren't right for me. I'd get annoyed with them cause I personalities just didn't line up. 

But am I destined to have relationships with assholes? Like, do I attract douche canoes because I'm so eager to please and they can take advantage? I deleted my fb, changed my number, and so on because the major jerk... I know I'll do whatever he wants, and I think he knows it, too.