i’m 18, i have a loving family and some friends but for a long time i’ve been feeling very numb. i live abroad in a boarding house and recently i’ve started failing at school. it was the first year of me living abroad and i was putting so much pressure on myself that after experiencing failure i stopped caring about the grades and all. i can’t focus on it as i fear rejection from unis. even though i have no “deep” reason for it, i simply want to die. i feel so numb i don’t want to do anything with my life. my family is putting pressure on me to go to med school which has been my lifelong dream but recently all i can think of is me ending things. all i see is me not being good enough. even though i want to improve i can’t get over the feeling of constant sadness. it stops me from enjoying my daily life. i can’t tell anyone about it cause i feel like they won’t understand me as i do not have any serious reasons behind feeling that way, i. dont know what to do. i thought it would pass but its just getting worse and worse and im feeling more and more numb