So to be clear i am not diagnosed, and as such i do not claim with certainty that i have bi polar disorder, however i do have a family history of the disorder and i have been displaying features of a mixed episode for a while now, and i just wanted to share my experience. Ive found that i usually wake up at 10 am, feeling reletively normal, although i usually hablve some depressive and anxious symptoms, such as ruminating on things that distress me and a general feeling of displeasure with life, after this i begin my day and go through life, either work, or general errands, i spend a lot of my time daydreaming or on my phone which can cause problems, sometimes I'll start thinking about something that makes me upset, and I'll begin daydreaming senarios where im in a higher position of power and able to act on the hatred and resentment I feel, like imagining myself as a celebrity going off on Hollywood type of thing, i sometimes get so worked up that it becomes visible in my body language and i get irritable, other times i get a feeling of dread and hopelessness that ibwont archive anything in life and that my friends will move on without me, all of what i have describes may or may not happen during the peak period of my day, ranging 12 to 5 usually, then when nighttime comes and natural light is gone, i usually get much worse, my irritability starts to mix with grandiosity and i become much less inhibited, i might start being snarky with cashiers and much more socially bold, i also get more sensation seeking, engaging in reckless behaviors. Any opinions or support would be appreciated, am not asking for a diagnosis, just some duologue.