I feel guilty because I can’t be happy for others. When my friends are struggling I feel better because I don’t feel so isolated in my depression. But when they’re happy and enjoying their lives I feel anger and jealousy. I find it hard to be genuinely happy for them. I’m also often accused of being manipulative for expressing my emotions to people, I don’t think I actively try to be manipulative but it always makes me doubt myself. I feel like a burden on everyone because I’m always depressed and full of negative emotion,  friends have said to me before that they feel like I try and make them feel bad for enjoying themselves. I don’t want to be this person, it’s a horrible way to be but I find it so difficult to fight against.