i saw this coming for a long time, it happened about nine ish months ago , got back together ab 5, i have been fearing but also preparing for this day since then. i love him more than anything. its fucked up but the reason i succeed in anything or more so have to motivation to do anything is because hes the only person i have to make proud of me, and the only person i want to be better for. i dont want to be better for myself. my self worth and worth in general is too low to do good things for myself. no incentive , no progress. i just want to end it. ive never met anybody like him, or anybody who could understand me and have so much in common in the personality aspect. it hasnt even been a day and im already thinking im not going to go back to school( i dropped out , ironically when he left me the first time. and was going to go back, starting tomorrow actually) but i feel theres no point now, and i wont be able to do it anyways. i dont understand. i wish i was just normal. i wish it wasnt a burden to be with me. overall we were together for close to 3 years and  i dont know what to do with myself. im absolutely shattered. if anybody is willing to talk to me right now id really appreciate it. he was my best friend. i have nobody else to go to.