Its so frustrating I don’t even need any form of a trigger anymore for my body to just feel distress, its so exhausting my heart rate is always so high and it literally feels like my default mood is at best a mild panic attack. It feels like its been forever since I’ve felt any of the euphoric bpd symptoms that I used to Identify with so strongly. I’m just so dysfunctional nowadays I’m so fucking impulsive. I hate this disorder I cant handle relationships and heal at the same time but I could never bring myself to purposefully lose any of the relationships that I value so dearly. borderline love is a meticulously designed trap that just fucking hurts everybody and its all my fault and the only way to solve any of it is to swim through an ocean of distress