I've been struggling with a more severe level of depression for several months. I find myself envious of those who are able to be grateful for life and actually live their lives. I can barely feed myself on many days. I'm unemployed (I have managed to occasionally get payed work), single and I don't have a whole lot of friends. I have a passion in life  that I've engaged in much less the worse my mental health has become. I feel as if I'm able to hold back my BPD behaviour more than I have before but I still struggle a lot. How do I become less self centered, more grateful, more hungry for life and more interested in things and other people? I'm really struggling to do the work I was putting into my health last year. And it's making me much worse.