My loved ones always treat me like shit. Whenever I try to address this and attempt to discuss it...I get things turned on me. Then I end up doubting my certainty and end up thinking whatever it is they told me. I end up thinking it's just me being a paranoid fuck. I always mentally prepare for the conversations and think of reasons and what points I'll make, but I always get things turned on me and I can't help but to end up agreeing. 
I really can't tell at this point if they're really treating me like shit, or if it's just all in my head. 
I feel so overwhelmed and the suicidal thoughts have been really strong these past two weeks. I haven't felt this alone in a while.