I would be really happy with things if my FP responded to my ridiculous behavior with the kind of hilarious shit you see on /r/creepypms. Unlike the creeps on there, I have the advantage of a self-image as stable as an ice-skating drunk. I would immediately switch from melancholic and sorrowful desperate pleading, thinking my life is over, to exaggerated and playful "desperate pleading", thinking I'm a sitcom character.

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However, when I'm thinking straight, I do understand that the reality is that everyone deals with emotions differently, and the real world rarely ever operates like some kind of sitcom.