Hello, everyone. I'm new to this sub so bear with me if this has been said numerous times. 

I have been tracking my mood for months now. My manic episodes don't last more than 4 days, although sometimes I wish they did. During these days, once I become aware of it (it took a long time for me to be aware of it) I do everything that I need to do as I am most certain that once I crash back to depression I will be sleeping my days away. But I am tired of living like this. Sometimes it gets so elevated to the point where I feel the mania and depression happening at the same time. I'm on Lamotrigine, does not seem to be doing much however. 

I do not even know why I am posting this. Just a few days ago I felt that I was on top of the world. Now I feel so horribly depressed, almost buried alive with no intention to get out. And I know in a few weeks, it will be over and I will be out of this slump. But it just ruins me that after that comes this horrible, horrible feeling again and will probably be the case for as long as I breathe. God is it exhausting.