I have Autism and Schizophrenia. Its difficult. I hate the feeling of being different sometimes. It means a lot of hushed conversations about me and a lot of appointments. It means that I seem to have less privacy. 

I want to just get rid of it sometimes. I wish I could cure both things. But then I have moments where I love myself for who I am. It's a struggle. I hate being excluded though. I hate feeling behind. I don't talk about these things usually. Recently though I just feel upset about it all. I can barely have conversations and people get mad at me because I cant maintain eye contact. They get annoyed when I cant follow conversations or when I dont respond right away. 

I throw up from stress a lot because of this stuff. People dont seem to appreciate me and it causes me to not appreciate myself sometimes. I know they wish I was "normal".