The problem is that I'm only happy because two people who hurt me and keep trying to provoke me have both got fucked by karma today. In ways that I would normally never celebrate. One of them is a man I thought would never betray me and actively work to drive me to harm myself but here we are. 

I get more happiness from seeing others suffer now than through the "positive" methods. Because being a good person my whole life  got me nowhere, it got me nothing.