When I'm visitng my GP or counselor I'm in a completely different mode, I'm my outside self and I'm also my advocate self. This is different from who I am the majority of the time, severely depressed and wanting to die. When these people who provide healthcare see me in a non-desperate state they seem to assume things are fine and I must be over-exaggerating. This is making me feel sick and distressed as I'm trying to be an advocate for myself before I do something reckless, but every time they never understand the severity of the situation and so don't provide the right support.