So I asked my husband this morning if he wanted to do a date night at home tonight and he said yes. I have been looking foreward to it all day, I got all dressed up and put perfume on. He comes home and doesn't even say anything about the way I look. I finally put our kiddo in bed and come over and grab his hands and say time for date night with a big smile and he's like "what?". Turns out he thought he was agreeing to date night tomorrow not tonight. I ask him why he thought I had a dress on and he says he was wondering about that. I was just quiet for a while but eventually I told him it was making me really sad that he didn't want to do our date night, I understand he didn't realize he said yes to today but he did say yes and I have been so excited all day. But he says he is tired and goes to bed. Which isn't that big of a deal really but I feel so crushed. I'm crying and my stomach hurts. It's like my world ended. I'm so tired of every little thing being so painful. 

Overall I did good, I didn't lash out at him or anything, but I'm sad and in pain. Also I can hear him in bed on his phone and it's like a stab in the chest. I really wanted to have a special night but he doesn't want it so I have to just be alone. I wonder how people without BPD live their lives. Are things like this just a small irritation? All I've ever known is extremes