I can’t find anything online about if this is normal. I don’t think it is but let me know and if not what the cause could be. 

I’m not sure why but when I’m away from people, particularly loved ones I have a hard time feeling positive emotions to them. When I’m with them I feel love, compassion, etc. but when I’m away from them it all disappears. I even get very cruel thoughts about my loved ones when I’m away from them. Thoughts about how I never want to see them again, how it would be easier without them, etc.

Sometimes my thoughts are especially cruel and I’ll think about how I hate them. These thoughts aren’t real. I don’t want these thoughts. They make me feel like a horrible person. Sometimes I can feel the positive emotions towards when loved ones when we are apart but it feels like there’s a wall between me and those feelings. I feel bad about them. 

Maybe there’s something horribly wrong with me. I don’t know. I feel like a bad person because of this. 

Is this normal?