birthday made me depressed remembering old times &amp; friends, i’ve gained so much weight over quarantine, im always at the doctor and it sucks, i had to get a new therapist and have been w out one for a couple months now, i can’t ever seem to say the right things, triggers jump out at me everywhere.

i have major depression, generalized anxiety, adhd-pi, pcos, abdominal adhesions (mystery source, probably endometriosis), scoliosis, a butt load of trauma that hasn’t really been dealt with, autonomic dysfunction, and apparently probably ehlers danlos (diagnosis appt pending). im on psych &amp; heart meds, have to take pain meds sometimes for chronic pelvic and spine pain. i just want to shed this body and brain from me for one day. but then there’s no me left. i don’t know if i’d even care. ugh. anyone else have a combo of these issues? i often think i’m autistic or ocd or bipolar instead of what all they said i am which also finds it’s way into my big spiral of worries. big messy rant over i guess lol. i just needed to vent into a void where someone might shout back instead of mu journal.