Bit of a strange one I feel, but, I'm (f26) always scared that my boyfriend (m25) will never talk to me again if he's ill.

In the past, if something has gone a bit wrong in his life (if he gets stressed out or ill), he's not wanted to talk to me for days, even when we lived together. I felt so scared and anxious, and as though the world was ending. I had no idea why he had to be like that towards me, and I felt it was my fault, or that him being like that was his coping mechanism and I should just deal with it.

Then I got diagnosed with BPD, and I don't know if it was due to my past traumas before we met, but I do think us being together has made it 10x worse. I am not sure of myself when it comes to men, but I don't think behaving like he did when he was ill was fair on me.

We recently started couples counselling, and I think it's helping us communicate more. He promises that he will never treat me like he used to, but I am still absolutely terrified if something were to happen to him and he became ill. He's got a bit of a cold at the moment, and I'm terrified that he may never speak to me again. I know it sounds over the top, but I can't stop feeling like this. I don't even know why I wouldn't hear from him again, but, the lack of knowing why he did it in the first place leaves me fearing the worst.

Is there any kind words, or reassurance, or advice anyone can give me about how to get over this fear? It eats away at me constantly, and I can't cope anymore.