Last year this little girl from my old middle school (i’m a senior now) killed herself and i honestly cannot get over it or stop thinking about her even tho i didn’t know her at all. The other night i was really upset and felt like killing myself but that night I had a dream of her and me talking and she was saying she regretted it and crying. I’m pretty sure it’s my brain just making this up because i didn’t know her at all for her to visit me in a dream or anything plus i think someone brought her name up the night before. Anyways I used to think of her at like random times but now after that dream I keep getting sad about her a situation non stop!! I think it’s effecting me so much because this girl reminds me so much of me in that grade. Experimenting with drugs, smoking ya know. She even kind of looks like me. I guess the day of her suicide she got caught with a vape or something and i remember feeling like it was the end of the world when i got caught with shit. I wish i could’ve just talked to her and told her it got better. Plus i had found an old journal from when I was in middle school and i was being bullied the same way she was with the same names they called her, was cutting,  I don’t know if it’s just my brain making me feel attached but i’m honestly sooo hurt that there is nothing i can do now there’s no solution to help her. It’s like my brain keeps thinking of ways but in the end she’s dead and i’ll never get to be friends with her or help her. It makes me wonder how many other people are suffering. I really so badly wish I could have told her none of the stuff would have mattered now. I’m so upset over this because i just remember how badly i felt back then over words and people. I’m just ranting because it’s on my mind sorry.