I’m not sure if this is the best subreddit to post this, but I am diagnosed with BPD. I know that BPD can often be caused by trauma, and I always thought I had a good upbringing and didn’t experience anything too traumatic.

Well being pregnant and giving birth suddenly made everything come flooding back. I was sexually assaulted (intercourse) when I was about 4 or 5 years old, and I have no idea how to deal with it. I’ve only told a few people and they don’t know the details because I feel too ashamed to talk about it. I told my CPN who is currently doing 1 on 1 DBT with me, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her what actually happened.

Has anyone else had trauma from their past come back, when it had been completely blocked out? How do I begin to heal from this when I can’t even bring myself to speak about it? I haven’t been able to be intimate with my fiancé since, and I feel so bad for him, because he doesn’t deserve this.