My previous boyfriend used to say I am a negative person. I always look at the negative things before the positive ones. My present boyfriend jokes about how narcissistic I am. 
But when you are all alone without a safety net, is it wrong to measure the water before diving? 
I let very less people come close to me. And the ones who come close, I consider them too precious to lose. Accept my family I am always scared to be hurt by people who are close to me. Whatever they do, however they react I try to think maybe they don't want me near them. Maybe I am considering people close to me who doesn't have the same feeling about me. What if they just don't love me. What if they can't express that I am pushy. 
All these makes me often stop looking at the love they give me. Sometimes small things make me push them away.
And this is more horrible in my relationships. Like I am only seeing the reg flags. Nothing else. And counting the red flags and waiting to end the relationship.