I used to have panic attacks at minimum once a week but usually more. Over the past year I have had maybe 4 panic attacks but my unhealthy "coping" mechanism of avoidance feels ever present and is actively crippling my life. I no longer feel any of the overwhelming emotions and thoughts I used to so often or the debilitating physical symptoms of my anxiety but I'm not any better at achieving the things I want to achieve or making myself do things I know need to be done.
It is probably my anxiety lessening but depression increasing. But it makes me feel weak and pathetic, what used to be excused by obvious and physical mental health issues now feels like a lack of self discipline and all around personal failure.

Will probably delete this since people in real life know my account but needed to vent and didnt have the energy to make a throw away. Also had a level of anxiety around hitting post so wanted to for the sake of pushing past that

After venting all of that its worth noting upon reread the title isnt entirely accurate as at the very least I dont experience that level of mental anguish almost every day