Growing up asian, my family has always pushed me to work harder to achieve better grades in school. They stopped when I studied abroad for high school. However, that has shifted to them commenting on my body because I gained more weight after studying abroad. 

All these comments and experiences has caused me to push myself to work towards “perfectionism”. I pushed myself pursuing a degree that doesn’t even suit me but I’m doing it because it’s professional enough to empress them. I also had experience of putting myself on a diet just so I fit the asian beauty standards but that led me to fainting and feeling fatigue all the time. 

Now that I’m diagnosed with anxiety and depression, their attitude towards me has changed. They would tell me I’m pretty enough, skinny enough or smart enough and ask me not to push myself so hard. I appreciate that they are taking care of my feelings. But.. I just can’t seem to trust them based on how they’ve treated me previously? In my perspective, I feel like they’re just comforting me just so my mental health doesn’t go downhill anymore. 

Has anyone experienced something similar before? How did you handle it?