hello friends

I have so much I want to say, I don't even know where to start. But I'll try to keep it short. 

I have always felt so alone and misunderstood. After wondering what was wrong with me my entire life, I finally got an answer. I always knew there was something more that was missing from the puzzle. Constantly being told 'it's just anxiety and depression and trauma' when deep down I KNEW it was something more than that. So I did the only thing I could do at that point, did everything in my power to treat these other disorders, literally went through 5 years of talk/trauma therapy and still there was something deeply wrong I couldn't control that persisted.

Finally I was diagnosed with BPD and I just lose it and start balling. Grieving all the time I lost because of not knowing. All I've ever wanted was to find a solution, had I known sooner I could've gotten the help I needed. Struggling for so long when I shouldn't have had to. But at the same time this sense of comfort comes over me, because I wasn't a giant question mark anymore. Now I know what it is and now I can get the help I need. 

I just joined this community and I'm so glad it exists. I don't feel so misunderstood and alone anymore. This is only a snippet of my journey, but I'm feeling genuinely hopeful for the first time in my life.