I am a 19 male introvert, with no car, no house, no job, no social skills, no friends,no diploma, basically nothing at all. I thought I was bettering myself but I have been facing long manic and depressive episodes recently, probably due to undiagnosed bipolar or something similar. I have known that I have some type of mental illness since I was young but the severity is way worse than it's ever been.During one of my manic episodes I got a haircut after not cutting it for years, and started texting girls from my past as I haven't really talked to anyone in over 3-4 years. I began a relationship with one of my "exes" which turnt toxic very quickly. I have been waiting for "the one" to lose my virginity to and have turned down sex with other girls on that basis. But after realizing that this relationship was toxic and still being in a manic episode, I decided I should have sex with this girl for the "confidence" that is supposed to come with it for guys. Doing that didn't give me any confidence and if anything, took alot away because now I'm just some guy that didn't get any until 19 and gave it up as soon as someone offered and future girls will think of me as an incel rather than someone who was waiting. I don't really know what I'm even here to ask. I'm just completely lost and feel like someone else when the mania hits but when the mania isn't around im depressed and out of energy so I almost chase the mania.