it will be a year we've been together in october. i had a close friend commit suicide about 2 years ago and since then been attending therapy. my sister has struggled with depression and has tried to take her life twice in the past year. depression runs on my moms side of her family- her, her brothers, and her mom have all had it. i was diagnosed with it yesterday and am about to go on effexor. 

my mood has been a lot worse for the past few months. i'm constantly insecure and down on myself, and have no energy. my boyfriend has trouble understanding and i don't know what to do. today i was feeling really down and it made him irritated. i am constantly apologizing and tell him he doesn't have to put up with this and that i wouldn't blame him if he broke up with me over it. i get it's probably draining for him. however it's always one sided and when i apologize he will just be like "it's okay" like sometimes i just expect more, like maybe a paragraph or so just expressing that he loves me or something. am i expecting too much? we are both young and each other's first loves. i love my boyfriend and i know he loves me but i feel like this illness is hurting us. he has been through so much as a child like abuse etc... and i am definitely privileged compared to him so maybe that's why he doesn't understand. i don't know what to do :(