 

I (18f) have a boyfriend (22m) who is diagnosed with depression and has suicidal thoughts. They started to self-harm themselves again after weeks of not doing so.  
First off, we are in a Long Distance Relationship and known each other for half a year, he won't let me visit him until December this year, but I'm worried something happens until then. He has been starting to get distant and isolates himself since a week, states he wants to be alone, I'm not sure if he needs alone time or if it's because of his depression. I'm scared he'll do something or that his wounds open again, two days ago he said he's been tasting blood in his mouth 24/7 because a rather big wound opened which wasn't fully healed yet and he didn't deny that he didn't self-harm.

I have talked to him about therapy once last year, but as far as I know he doesn't go nor does he want to. He is hesitant and doesn't open up when talking about his depression or suicidal thoughts, the only times I witness or hear from it is when it's happening and he has a breakdown. I can't even ask him how he feels daily, he doesn't like answering that question and I found out it's because he doesn't want to lie to me. When I ask him how his day was, he says he doesn't know.

I'm at loss. I've never dealt with someone who is depressed or has suicidal thoughts before, how can I approach him if he doesn't want to talk about his depression or thoughts? He's already tried to attempt suicide a few times before he met me, I'm scared he'll try again. He said he will tell me if he'd die, but I don't want that day to come. We do plan to have a future together eventually, but I'm just so scared. I don't want to lose him. I love him. I'm always checking up on him daily, sending messages, making apparent I'm here, sometimes making little gifts like drawings.

He lives alone (with a few cats), his sister is in a coma right now and he doesn't have any other family members. He lives so far away, I did tell him if he'd let me I'd come visit immediately, but he didn't respond to that. Generally, he always reponds so late these days and sometimes completely ignores - as I've mentioned, being distant and isolating himself (but he did say he want to be alone a bit a week ago but since he's harmed himself again two days ago I'm not sure).

Please, any help is appreciated, what can I do? I can't get through him. I'm scared. He says he's fine, but his behavior tells me otherwise. I'm scared. I've been trying to research for days on how I could help him, I don't know. He wouldn't possibly consider therapy.