I know boredom is a common hallmark among people with BPD, but in my case, it's gotten to a point where it's basically drained me. I experience a mix of boredom, rage, sadness, despair, and exhaustion. I don't enjoy anything anymore; every single day, I feel like I'm just wandering around on autopilot. My job doesn't fulfill me anymore, and neither do my days off. Every single day, I feel like I'm just waiting to be allowed to go back to bed, and even when I get to bed, I can't sleep.

I'm in professional therapy, but therapy hasn't worked in the past, and I'm pessimistic that it will work now.

I have goals but they all seem like pipe dreams.

I'm so tired. I feel I'm just waiting for someone to come and kill me so I don't have to do the dirty work myself. :'(