I literally think that being happy with life is impossible. I love my kids but still just existing is pain. I have a boyfriend that can't be fully honest with me and keeps lying to me and just won't fess up to the one thing that I know. Why can't people just simply respect people's wishes is it that hard to give things up am I ever going to be good enough for anybody, am I going to be good enough for myself. I'm at a loss I cry all the time I can't trust anybody. My whole life I've been physical and mental and verbal abuse. So I'm always watching my back I never relax I don't know how to live without protecting myself and everything hurts no matter how small it hurts.