I’m not sure if this is the right place to post this, but in the last few months I’ve suspected that I might have BPD. It’s been an incredibly difficult year for me as last year I was diagnosed with Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, Dyslexia and Dyspraxia in my second year of uni. It was both life affirming and terrifying. I am still battling with the imposter syndrome, but feel so affirmed. 

I know there’s a lot of comorbidity with different neurodivergent disorders, which is why I feel like maybe I’m just appearing greedy? A lot of the tik toks I’ve seen and things  I’ve read on the health websites resonate with me. My fear is what if the symptoms I think I have aren’t really or they aren’t as severe so therefore doesn’t mean I have it? Is it simply more to do with my other confirmed diagnosis and my unresolved trauma? 

I’ve contacted my doctor and I have an appointment to discuss this, but I don’t know what to say. I can make impulsive decisions when I’m feeling emotionally overwhelmed. Overeating and sometimes starving myself out of frustration. Impulsive shopping ( more recently). Sexual promiscuity- the first thought that comes to mind when I’ve been hurt by a romantic partner or sometime family etc is to do something Grand and damaging. Starving myself is usually punishment, sleeping with someone I’m not interested in just to feel something but also confirm how  unworthy I am of love. 

I can become really obsessive especially with people. Little behavioural changes in people really or imagined makes me instantly feel like people hate me, don’t love me Or they are mad me.

I’ve been suicidal since the age of 11. I’ve ‘attempted’ and thought about attempting everytime there’s an issue with any relationship I have. This was triggered a lot by my mum and o was going t admit myself last year. I don’t always really want to die but growing up when  I was deeply distressed I’d say I wish I was dead but that would only be partly true. I just wanted to be heard 

Idk... I guess I’m seeking advice and guidance about what I do before my appointment, where to go to research and just how to navigate this.