It's so cruel that we get to feel this much and everything affects us so much. I'm having the biggest mental breakdown over an 'OK' that got deleted afterwards lol. It's so stupid but i just cant control how emotionally stupid and worthless it makes me feel. No matter how much I try to understand other people's emotions I always failed and I've lost all of my friends already and it sucks. It's not fair that loving this much feels so great yet so miserable at times. It's SO unfair that something so small makes me want to kill myself and it has zero effect on everyone else. It's simply not fair that I've a brain that constantly attacks me for no reason and I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying but it doesn't work I just don't seem able to understand human interaction at its core and it feels like im failing again and I'm so scared because this is the first relationship that isn't bpd motivated like this is the first person I actually love and I just hate how everything I do ruins everything because I never understand anything!! I just want people to know Im trying but i bet it doesnt seem like it cos ive the emotional intelligence of a fetus. k cool. just venting. 