My wife’s parents are round and they’ve been staying with us since last night. It’s the first time we’ve seen them in person since September due to COVID and we normally get on.

Earlier today my wife and I were teasing each other about something and he leans up close into my face and yelled “shut up” at me.

I think he was joking, but my every childhood defence mechanism is triggered and active. If he hadn’t walked away quickly I don’t think I would have kept my mouth shut.

He’s now just an enemy in my head and I can’t see him as anything but a hostile presence in my home and I’m worried that I’m going to snap before they leave on Sunday and/or damage my marriage in the long term. 

Does anyone have any suggestions for breaking this mentality before that happens?

EDIT: Specifically looking for techniques here. I was only diagnosed a couple of months ago and due to my local NHS being awful I still haven’t started DBT.

I love my wife. Hating this man forever is not an option.