Was confident I had it already but still feels weird to have a proper diagnosis. I have mixed feelings. On one hand I hate it because I feel like I’m officially not normal and never will be, but on the other hand I actually like it because it gives me an excuse for my messed up behaviour. 

I know it’s just a label but it’s still a really big road block for me. Before it was just episodes of depression, anxiety and self harm, but now it’s the whole package...personality disorder. Just feels like my life has entered into the darkness further than it has been before. There’s no more hiding and pretending I’m okay when the depression goes away. Now, everything is a symptom. It’s much harder to deal with now. 

Anyway, sorry for the spiel. Just wanted to get that off my chest.