So I have BPD and I’ve had this FP for such a long time now

I feel bad but I rlly just want too block him because there is no point in this. Plus it’s gone on since we were both 14-15 (20 and 21 now), I’m getting way too grown for this shit plus if he rlly liked me he would’ve dated me already but anyways, 

Basically: He won’t talk too me or text me back for days which I get if your busy but he still posts on his story and all that so he rlly has no excuse, used me for nudes multiple times and I’ve been dealing with it since July because I like him so much and he tricks me that he likes me and that I’m beautiful and whatever else bullshit guys say too get what they want, and I’m just so done with feeling used even tho it’s my fault, I knew better from all those other times in the past years but I feel like a reason why it’s hard to get over is because he took my virginity when we were younger. But he won’t talk, he obvs doesn’t want too date me or want anything besides nudes/sex, so what is the point tbh?? Like do you think if he liked me he would’ve actually dated me by now? Like I always feel guilty even tho I know I shouldn’t. 

So would you feel bad/guilty for blocking him if you were me?? Honestly because what is the point of having someone like that on my snap, even tho I rlly like him and I feel bad and I feel like it’s my BPD talking but I’m honestly done with feeling used. Would you feel guilty for blocking him? 

Pls be honest, i rlly don’t know what to do!