I just don’t know how to be a normal person. Everyone says things get better as you get older, but they haven’t they’ve just been getting worse. I’m so tired of being me. I feel like I peaked already, and it wasn’t even much of a peak. 

I feel like I’m always in last place. I made a long rant on Facebook about it, which I’ve never done before, and now I’m too scared to go back and look at the replies, and a part of me is scared there won’t be any replies at all, and another part of me isn’t even sure I actually did it. 

I have no motivation to do anything. I’m so fucking tired of school. I’ve been having endless out-of-body experiences and nightmares (when I can sleep). I’m so tired of this cycle. Everyone around me gets so much done, and I can barely get out of bed. A part of me doesn’t even want to get better. I’ve just given up. I just don’t have it in me anymore.

Everything hurts. I’m so far away from everyone. I hate going to therapy. They just feel like drug dealers with extra steps, and they just care about the money they get from pharmaceutical companies and not their patients. 

Sometimes I just want to run away forever into the woods.