Another day i see my hardly built confidence evaporate overnight. After i noticed bizarre movements, slowness, and difficulty on speech(losing words and having difficulty completing a sentence ),shakiness and generally acting like i am stupid i called my doc and now my bipolar diagnosis is officially schizoaffective. Although i have some delusions (which i dont believe) i am mostly paranoid (although i dont believe those either) . My reason is still here ,i can express myself, i have mental wisdom to know whats going on and i CANT act normal. How am i going to find a girl? And which girl wants a man like me? Tried a lot to build my confiedence around bipolar and now its gone . I cant even speak. If my mother didnt raise me strictly as a christian i would pull the trigger.