I have learned to repress my anger due to anger being socially unacceptable and out of fear that my anger would ignite into rage. After nearly 20 years of doing this, I have become emotionally numb. In my happiest moments, I have to consciously make myself smile. In my mind my emotions are on a scale, when they become unbalanced they always come back oppositely. For example, if I feel very happy I will then become just as depressed until I am able to sleep. Does anyone else experience these same feelings?  