Hi everyone! I’m 25F and I’ve been diagnosed bipolar 1 for 3 years now. Before that, I was diagnosed with BPD at 19 but over time my psychiatrist believed they got my diagnosis wrong. I am also diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and ADD. 

As many bipolar people do, I have struggled to maintain my medication regimen. I’ll miss a couple of days and be like, “Oh, I feel fine!” Then three months later I’m doing questionable activities that most would raise an eyebrow at because of mania. This was in the past. 

For the last two years, I have been very stable off my meds. (And I do mean all of my meds.) Some days are hard but not impossible. I do get depressed, experience anxiety but I haven’t had the crazy manic episodes I used to. In that time, I met my husband. We’ve been married a few months now. I thought I was doing just fine. 

However, apparently, I am still bananas? 

This week, for example, my sleep is nowhere to be found. I sleep like 4 hours a night max. During the days I’m a raging, sleepy asshole. Today my husband and I got into a massive fight because of my irritability. He says it’s been going on for a while now but I truly don’t even notice it. 

In my mind, this is the most stable I have been that I can remember. I feel good most days. I do get irritable in cycles. I’m snappy when I’m upset. I get it. I’m not perfect. 

I can’t tell if I’m acting out due to bipolar, anxiety, or ADD. It’s anyones guess. 

To see a psych, I have to be referred. I have an appointment August 5th. It’ll probably be a good month and a half. 

I still have 3 bottles of Vraylar from when I was prescribed. 

Should I take these until I can see someone or would that be… not good? I want to see if I can narrow down what illness is causing this all of a sudden. I’m terrified of losing my husband.