It's been a crazy long time since i went out in a big public place, especially to a Supermarket.It's hard to believe when i put it on paperhow long its' been. Back in July i got my second covid shot at my local super market's pharmacy. The Pharmacy wasn't deep in the bowels of the store, but it wasn't close enough to the exit to quickly get to my car.

So i had my shot, and all went well. Until the fifteen minute wait period was over, and went to leave to leave. the farther i got away from the pharmacy, the more and more i noticed symptoms. I'm a hypochondriac. So i started thinking about anaphylaxis. So symptoms began to spiral out of control and i started feeling like i was going to faint. Luckily i made it outside and the fresh air calmed my nerves. But now i've developed a little bit of Agoraphobia. Ever since then, i've been terrified of going out in public. Especially in big places like the supermarket or the clinic.

Which is why i haven't been in a public place in just under four months. Which brings me to tomorrow. My caretaker, who has kindly been getting me food the past few months. Asked me if i wanted to go with them to get stuff for thanksgiving. This was mostly to get me prepared for a doctor's visit in December. Which i'm absolutely terrified for. I already hate going to the doctors, it's a very stressful place for me. So i'm really afraid of what will happen then.

So with that in mind, i  took them up on it, after having another panic attack, my dr put me on Buspirone. But i'm still really scared of having another big panic attack in public.