Hi all! 
I figured out two months ago my ex (because I broke up with him when I figured out) has been cheating on me throughout our entire over three year relationship. The included oral sex with one and constant flirting with another. 

Its been over two months since i figured out and I feel like I’m mentally worse than I was to begin with. This person was my best friend and someone I thought I would marry, this is extremely upsetting. I have been working out, self care, distracting myself but I can’t stop obsessively thinking about it and getting upset. I still occasionally talk to him because of fear of abandonment and No contact has been impossible to me. I wanted to ask if anyone has gone through something similar? Or any coping mechanisms? I know healing isn’t linear but I feel worse than I was to begin with and I am putting in the work. 

Sorry for the long vent but its hard to push forward when everyday is a hell of constantly thinking of this every hour. To preface, i have a therapist but she hasn’t been helpful.