Last year was amazing. It started off a bit scary, I moved alone to a different city to start my mechanical engineering degree. I was stressed but optimistic, and everything went so well. I immediately gained lots of friends and felt very wanted and popular, also my studies went amazing, I got good grades, even got honors. I felt that I overcame all my fears and my self esteem really went up.

The first day I came home after the first year ended, my parents told me and my siblings they're splitting up. We have a very close family so it is hard for all of us, especially because it was such a suprise for everyone, even for my parents. I planned on traveling for the summer and didn't change my plans, the trip was amazing and I didn't think much about home. Then I got back to start my second year, and suddenly started feeling depressed all of the time. Don't enjoy anything no more, can't bring myself to study, feeling like a zombie. In the last 2 weeks my body started to give up on me. Woke up with back pain which pretty much made me unable  to walk and the pain's not going away, even though I tried several ways to treat it. Also got an asthma attack, and I'm feeling so weak. Feels like it's not getting better. 

I can't manage to study and it really stressing me out. I'm trying but I feel so weak, and every day that I don't study I'll have to complete by myself. my physical state is making me really depressed, and I mostly feel so alone. All of my friends here are as usual and I feel like a downer and that I'm not fun hanging out with, feels like I'm losing them.

I just feel so lost and alone, I don't know what to do. I'm torn between giving it all in my studies, or taking care of my mental health. I'm starting to think that I can't do both.

Felt like writing some of it would help...