Starting last year it was almost if my years of grief and anguish just froze. I wasn’t happy but I wasn’t sad, and I decided one way or another I was gonna fix myself. I buckled down and finished college, started going on dates again and am holding down a job that I feel I’m good at. 

Lately the mask has started to slip. I’m becoming irritable, emotionally distancing myself from people and almost feel I’m becoming cold as a defense mechanism. I just have the feeling I’m one major negative event away from a full mental break and I just don’t understand how I can be here again after all the progress I’ve made.

I am the mental health equivalent of Sisyphus. No matter how hard I try I get nowhere.