Left my abusive boyfriend support looking for support I guess

Context/I’m only 19 he was 32 I’d never had a real boyfriend before met this guy and we instantly clicked, he did everything that made me happy he got me to open up,I thought I was falling in love. About 4 months in some behaviour displayed is worrying, gaslighting saying he didn’t say something. Me falling for it and feeling crazy. Then degrading me as a person I’m shit at life, I’m stupid, I know nothing about the world, I can’t work there. Massive anger outbursts that would terrify me by 6 months it is unbearable. I’ve left, I’m not going back there is a part of me that clings to the dream and it’s hard to let go of. I feel empty at the minute.. lost. I’ve somewhat kept my life together is the main thing I have a support group, but I just want to isolate, I feel so stupid for not seeing the signs, he got me pregnant and then when I told him kicked me out of the house that should of been it. I have a lot of anger but I need to let go, I just don’t know where to go from here, I know it going to be difficult to forgive myself.