I have spent most of my life seeking help - therapy, meds, reading all the self-help books I could get my hands on, religion, philosophy, drugs, positive thinking, affirmations, astrology …everything. I even have a degree in psychology and counselling.

And I m worse than I have ever been. Depression just comes back. I’m tired of fighting and pretending and trying to find a point. 

Everyone tells you to get help. But I don’t want to get any anymore - it’s just pointless. Following the script and making everyone feel better so they don’t have to worry about you anymore. 

I just want to disappear. Please stop making me pretend anymore. 

Nothing has helped and I don’t want to try anymore.