My depression and lack of confidence has crippled me socially for years, in my teens I never realized this, I felt as if everything was so permanent that it would never get better, that I would remain in this dark pit forever, isolated and alone. I missed out on so many things in my youth had to offer that ill sadly never get to experience. But I guess its futile to regret  what happened and if I keep dwelling in the past I'd be lost forever. I want to focus on my future and work on the present, this is the most logical thing to do. But I'm very dead inside, I hardly feel anything. There was phase in my life when I was at the university, completing masters where I felt alive and happy where I felt optimistic and I was surrounded by friends, now I'm just alone, single and dead inside. I don’t want to live anymore, sometimes its just too much. I feel like the clouds have started to gather again, the little sunshine I had in my life is fading away. I don’t want to drown but I don’t see any way to get out. Help?