I (22M) have BPD and PTSD. I tend to have pretty extreme and unpredictable emotions and when I start feeling *really* volatile, sometimes I’ll go and ask for medication. At the moment I’m on Seroquel and Lexapro and have been for almost 2 months now. I’m not sure the Lexapro does anything at all, still feel plenty depressed pretty frequently (although, could be because I haven’t jumped up to 25mg yet). The Seroquel hasn’t done much for my mood either really, still get irrational thoughts and overcome with rage roughly once a day (although I don’t let it become outwardly visible very often), it does however, help put me to sleep. I have pretty severe insomnia sometimes and I can pretty much always get to sleep on Seroquel. 

Recently though, I’ve been feeling super tired pretty much all day, makes me nervous to drive and it feels like it’s affecting my performance in the gym and my memory and mental capacity and stuff too now. Considering my moods seem to be just as unmanageable with or without the medication, I decided it was probably better to stop taking the Seroquel if it was affecting other coping mechanisms I have and also because it’s probably not good to be dependent on any substance for sleep (plus who knows what other side effects are kicking around or waiting to flare up the longer I’m on this stuff). But ever since I’ve stopped taking it I can barely sleep at all, and when I do sleep it’s awful, feels like I’m waking up every 15 minutes and usually leaves me feeling unsure if I’ve even slept at all. I was hoping that after about a week the lack of sleep would catch up to me and I’d finally be able to get myself into a consistent sleep schedule without the meds but it’s not shaking out that way. I still just can’t sleep and now I’m left wondering if I should have stopped at all or if I should go back on it or if there’s some way you’re supposed to go about transitioning away from it, other than gradually cutting down the dose (which I did)?

Any advice would be super helpful.