First of all, sorry for poor English.
To begin with, I lost my mother last year from Covid. I'm still emotionally devastated. Now I'm living alone with my abusing and manipulative brother. Who destroyed us financially.
 I study for a scholarship, however i severally have self believes issues. The other thing is I have one huge problem, my english is not good for the exam and interview right now, this is stress me the hell out, i want to talk with a native but don't know how connect with them and talk to them.

 I just want to get the hell out from my country and find someone who love me. this is living hell... the thought  of this continuing is makes me sick.

I don't know anybody cares or listen to me in here, but i just wanted to be courigous and post this.