Okay hi, I'm currently doing a partial DBT course. I have found it useful to understand where my thoughts arise and come from but apply it to my everyday life, it's just not practical. In a crisis? Use your skills. In a bad mood? Use your skills. On your death bed? Use your skills. 

I'm so stuck on the past and the trauma. I cannot move forward. I want to be able to seek out some form of trauma or even 1-1 therapy where I can actually constructly talk about my trauma and come to terms with them. Something I haven't been given the chance to do, when mentioning it, I get told I'm "Like every BPD person who wants 1-1 therapy", or I want "That hour all to myself". And when I'm annoyed at how my DBT group is going I get told it's because I'm "not getting what I want". I feel like my identity is stripped away from me and I just seem to be justified by my disorder. All I am is BPD. That's it. 

I've been in the system for years, I've been through every form of therapy, I just want to get over the past. 

Please help me somehow.