A local nightclub was having Halloween themed nights all through the weekend, and since I've been putting myself out there more lately, I decided I'd go. The first night I went was actually a fairly decent time. Now, I didn't necessarily interact with anyone, but after I consumed a few drinks I got into the right mood, went to the dancefloor and had a good time bopping to the music. They played a bit of everything: some house, edm, pop, hip hop, etc.

The second night, however, went pretty badly, and it was a total 180 from how the previous night turned out. I waited in line for around 45 minutes, but luckily the weather wasn't too cold. As I looked around, I was surprised to see not too many people were dressed up. This was on Halloween night, by the way. I was wearing a wig and a small wizard hat – nothing too extravagant. After a while though, this girl who suddenly stood next to myself waiting for her friend began talking to me, asking if I was excited. I'm not used to having conversations with people, so for whatever reason I responded by saying that this was my second time being at a club. She seemed confused, "like, ever? how old are you?" I didn't want to tell her my real age out of potential embarrassment (23), so I said I'm 20. She then asked when I was born, and I said "in July, 2001." That's when it all began to fall apart, because she quickly realized I was lying by doing the math, "but wait, that'd make you 21 then." I nervously laughed, "sorry, I'm just kinda drunk" (I wasn't). She asked me my name and if I was currently in school, and I fucked up again by saying "I think so, yeah." She then looked at me with a confused look, "... You think so? (name), you're really confusing! I'm having a hard time understanding you." Her friend eventually arrived, and I then asked if she wanted my Instagram, to which she said "Sure... we can be, like, friends." The rest of the conversation was fairly stilted and awkward on my part, and I could tell she felt uneasy and uncomfortable. She then waded off with her friend and that's when we stopped talking.

Eventually I got into the club, and my objective was to get into the right headspace by having a few drinks – to hopefully forget about all of that. Unfortunately, it just wasn't happening, even after downing five drinks throughout the night. I only just felt a bit tipsy a few hours in. I went to the dancefloor, but for over half the night they only played shitty rap remixes, which I'm not into whatsoever. So, I sat in the lounge area for a while. By the time they actually began playing different music, it was just generic pop like Britney Spears or Black Eyed Peas.

I didn't see anyone alone, and almost everyone was with their friends. I felt very out of place, and stood out in a bad way. I wanted to avoid that girl, but I did cross paths with her a few times in the night. The first time we walked passed each other, she looked at me with a stone face. The second time I accidentally bumped into her on the dancefloor, and she seemed annoyed at first, but then shouted at me, "I've seen you too many times tonight, (name)!" She looked like she was clearing her throat, saying in a light tone, "You're freaking me out, (name)!" I couldn't hear her at first over the music, "What!?", and she repeated herself, "I said you're freaking me out!" She then looked away and disappeared into the crowd. As I was leaving, I saw her sitting on a couch with her friend, and she pointed at me while talking into her friends' ear. I just waved and immediately left. I did her a favor by unfollowing and blocking her right after. In a way, it's a good thing I was wearing a wig and a hat; it concealed my actual look/identity somewhat, so hypothetically if she ever saw me again, she likely wouldn't recognize me.

So, yeah, it was bad. I felt like a failure, a weirdo, and a loser. I kept thinking, "This isn't me. What am I doing here?" I want to have fun, and make the most of my 20's, but when you have no friends and zero social skills, it's difficult to get anywhere in life.