If you want to enrage me, this is what you should say. And this is what I heard tonight and I'm about to kick someone's ass.

I was diagnosed maybe a year and a half ago. The first year was EXHAUSTING and just the worst. But, for the past 6-7 months I've been feeling GOOD. Like, depressive episodes are almost non-existant, dissociation doesn't happen as often, I don't remember if it ever lasted this long. I stopped therapy (plus covid happened so I couldn't continue it even if I wanted to), and I also stopped my meds. Which I now realize was perhaps a bad idea. 

Well, around 4 days ago, it started again. I could feel it. The overthinking, the anxiety, the dread overflowing me. Ghosting other people's messages, feeling useless, feeling like everyone HATES me just because they're not spoiling me, the desire to scream, start fights, etc. The whole package.

Well, I made a mistake of telling a new friend about it. Didn't overshare as much as I normally do which is good lmao. Told her a few things only. That I'm going to call my therapist tomorrow and make an appointment, and tell him I stopped my meds, didn't even finish the package. And there it was.

"Oh, are you sure you need all of that? Plus meds? Have you tried not thinking like that? I think you should think positively. It used to happen to me as well, the exact thing you described, but I guess everyone is like that sometimes! You're fine, these past few months I've known you, I didn't notice anything. Does therapy even help? What does he even do, just talk to you? Don't think about it! There's no reason to feel that way! You're overthinking. I'm sure it's nothing. When I feel like that, I just think positively and it goes away! I don't think that's healthy, honestly. All of that therapy and meds talk. Don't let them tell you you're crazy, you're completely fine." etc etc.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE. FUCK YOU. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO STOP THESE THOUGHTS. STOP TELLING ME MY FEELINGS AREN'T VALID. STOP ACTING LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. YOU HAVE **NO IDEA**. AND BE FUCKING GRATEFUL.