I got the booster shot back in early January and shortly after I started having breathing problems. I thought I was getting better but my breathing took a turn for the worst. I've been out of work since getting it. So now my depression is in overdrive. I feel useless absolutely useless and wish that it would just kill me. I feel as if everyone thinks I'm faking it.
On top of the DWI back in November and waiting for the cort date this month,  I'm going crazy. I had a heart attack in 2020 and wish GOD just let me die. All I do is think and thinking is the worst thing in the world for me. I know I screwed up and am more than willing to take pay for my stupidity. When I had the heart attack the doctors determined that on top of the depression and anxiety I have PTSD. I just want it over. 
I've been looking for a good counselor but no one is taking on new patients or not even answering their phone. I just needed to get this off my chest and apologize for the rant