i’ve been with my boyfriend (21M) for almost 5 months now, and i (21F) don’t feel loved even though i know he loves me. he does nothing to make me think he doesn’t, but i feel like i cannot accept his love, and ultimately i feel lonely. it’s really hard to explain because i love him so much, but it’s really hard for me to feel love from him. it’s almost like my body and mind rejects any love he gives me. 

on top of that, whenever i mention something that he could do to better improve how he can love me, i almost feel like he doesn’t want to do it and is only doing it to make me happy. i try so hard to realize that if he didn’t love me he wouldn’t change, but as soon as he tries what i suggest, i reject it and say that’s not what i want and immediately apologize. i don’t know why i can’t accept that he loves me and it’s so hard. i really only feel like he loves me when we are touching (probably because it’s my love language). i want to resent him for loving me but i just feel so stuck with what to do. he’s so good for me but i don’t think i’m good for him. although i change or correct my behavior when it’s brought up as an issue, i feel like i am walking on eggshells with him. nights are very hard on me and him and we usually face opposite ways in bed and never say “i love you”. it’s sucks because i know i’m a lot to handle with my BPD, and he’s shown me nothing but unconditional love but i cannot accept it no matter how hard i try.