TW for talking about dieting/eating issues

I have prediabetes and am trying to reverse the bipolar weight gain, but I feel dangerously sick on my diet and don’t know what to do.

So, for a little background I’m 21, 5 foot 4 and weigh 173 pounds. I have PCOS. I used to be 145 lbs, but a year ago, I switched from abilify to latuda and gained 30lbs in a relatively short time frame. 

A week and a half ago, I decided to try and lose weight. No calorie counting, because counting calories triggers food obsession/disordered eating for me personally. I just eat whole foods and decide to eat only when I feel like I really need to AND want to.
After I gave up eating junk food and microwaved meals, eating seemed like a chore. So, I wound up eating less. I’ve calorie counted a lot before, and I estimate that I’m eating AT LEAST 1500 calories a day. I also feel like I’m eating only slightly less than I was before, just not eating convienece food. But I’m still hungry. Constantly. And I have no desire to eat. I’ve just been going to bed hungry for like the past week hoping it would go away.

On days where I don’t eat as much, I get these drastic mood changes that go away when I eat. I’ve lost weight before taking latuda and I’ve never experienced mood changes related to not eating that were this bad. It straight up feels like I’m back in an episode. Feel super bad about myself, make rash decisions, and it all goes away when I eat. 

Something really scary happened today too. I ate what I think to be a normal, healthy amount (a protein bar and a salad with double protein from panera for breakfast and lunch) and in the middle of the day I started to get this crippling headache. I drank water and it didn’t go away—and then I started to feel really lightheaded and ravenously hungry. A couple hours pass and I get really confused?? I go with my friends to get some nuts from the grocery store, force myself to eat like 500 cals of peanuts. Hunger goes away a lot, but the lightheadedness is still there and I start to get more confused. Friend says my hands are shaking and drives me home…I eat a couple slices of meat and go to the doctor, everything comes back normal, and he sends some tests off to the lab.

I get back home. Feel less lightheaded, still ravenous, but don’t really care to eat. Eat an apple anyway. Am feeling slightly better but still super hungry, yet the thought of eating makes me sick. What the fuck is going on? I need to lose weight for health reasons, but ever since I started trying, I feel worse than ever. Weirdly, I don’t even crave the junk food I ate before and I’m not looking for an excuse to quit trying to lose weight. I just wanna be able to lose weight without feeling lightheaded and confused. But I’m still feeling bad despite clearly eating enough. Has anyone experienced any of these things?