Things between my boyfriend and I are way better than a year ago. Right now we are not living together but trying to rebuild the trust and love we had lost since I was diagnosed. I'm learning to work through things on my own, and right now I'm identifying triggers so I can learn to respond better.

One of my triggers is social media. When I see him post a Story from his band page or when he posts on Instagram, I get so anxious/depressed. My thoughts include: "He's posting because he's trying to get someone's attention" or believing that he's talking to girls through his private messages. He has never done anything to prove this but it's so hard to stop the thoughts that he's only posting his face/personal life on social media is to get female attention. Or even attention in general. I don't post to any social media besides Reddit and I don't want to be angry/scared when he does. I can't fathom why anyone would post to Stories or Instagram without needing some sort of attention, especially from the opposite sex.

The real problem here is I think he's constantly lying to me about loving me and secretly wants or is talking to other girls.

How do you work through your triggers, or do you use Instagram/Facebook and can shed some light onto why people do use those sites?

Can somebody also tell me how to be so badass that cheating on me would actually be a mistake rather than a relief from a sad sack of girlfriend?

It's too early in the morning for all this anxiety