ive struggled with mental illness my entire life and over the past 2 ish years ive tried to get help, but i almost feel like everything, especially my parents, are sabotaging me. my dad doesnt believe in mental illness and stuff like that, and never listens to me or understands anyway, i dont like him either so i didnt even bother asking him for help. i asked my mum to help because shes been diagnosed with depression and struggles herself so i thought she would understand, but she doesnt want me to get diagnosed because she thinks it will ruin my life and wont help me. i managed to get her to agree to help me about a year and a half ago but she never picked up phone calls from therapy, and gave me letters from therapy months too late, so ive missed 3 therapy referrals so far. i feel like ive had to force her just to get me doctors appointments for depression and anxiety. every doctors appointment ive had has not helped me either, the doctors seem almost uninformed ? like they have no experience of mental illness at all or dont understand, and because of intense social anxiety i cant tell them in much detail what i think is wrong. they prescribed me antidepressants and anxiety medication and neither of them helped. they referred me to therapy again but because im 16 now im put on a seperate waiting list for therapy, which means to start therapy ill have to wait about 8 months and at this point im starting to give up trying to help myself because its so frustrating. im tired and dont feel like stressing myself out and wasting my time anymore. deep down i have no idea if anything will actually help me anyway, but if im not getting help, im only getting worse.

i think i have a lot of things wrong with me or untreated, yet im only trying to get help for anxiety and depression because they are most severe, i know i have them, and i think they weave into everything the most. i thought it wouldnt be difficult to treat but that didnt go as planned so im losing hope. im so depressed and finding some kind of relief or treatment has been the only thing still keeping me here. other than medication which doesnt seem to work and therapy which i cant seem to get, what other options do i even have? im struggling too much now so if theres no other way of getting help thats actually achievable then i give up.