The thing is, I’ve been able to cope with this before. I have been able to people-watch with my previous partners, and I know objectively that there are beautiful people in this world and whatever attraction my partner experiences for that split second where their eyes begin to wander is fleeting and insignificant. Now it just isn’t the same, and I really spiral out of control when my hyper-observant ass noticed something.

I’ve run through all the arguments — they chose me because they love me, they don’t love the other people they look at; they’re not particularly inspired by them to cheat. Or that it’s impossible for most people to have tunnel vision — I for one actually do, and when I love someone everybody else just fades away and loses their appeal — so I should not expect it from them. I did discuss this with them and they were sensitive and kind enough to tell me that they’d “try” to be more like me, although I know that deep down it’s kinda impossible for like 99% of the world. He says he’s somehow managed it, but then additional fears just spring up — what if he meets new people? There will always be a chance of him finding them attractive right? I am so frustrated at myself at this point. Sometimes the thoughts are so bad I somehow spiral to suicide. Yeah, over this one insignificant thing. Logically, I am intact. Emotionally, I am all over the place. 

This has grown to become an extremely big fixation of mine, and obviously elsewhere on another subreddit it would look extremely silly but here I am. I really hope someone can relate. Really, you could throw any logical argument my way and I would most likely agree with you. The problem is the feeling of jealousy that I absolutely cannot cope with. I just want to be the special one, the only one, the best, etc. But I can’t because there is no such thing. 

Does anybody else go through this too?
If so, how have you successfully dealt with it?