I tried to kill myself after a failed relationship. I told myself I wasn't going to do it this time..every breakup brings immense pain and self harm. This time I blacked out after taking so many pills. I was admitted to a hospital after overdosing on all of my meds. I don't remember doing it..I woke up and they were all gone. I texted them saying goodbye. I feel so ashamed. On top of that I showed up to work and they pulled me to human resources for missing work. They wanted to drug test me. Positive for THC. I've definitely lost my job. I feel hopeful after treatment but I don't know how to love myself.