Hello, i don’t know if it’s depression or what is it. But i’ve been like this for almost +5 years now.

It feels like i am going trough motions, i am doing things but i am detached from everything, it’s like i function everyday but i am not really “experiencing” it. For example: For tomorrow something would happen i might go somewhere (meet people, talk ) experience life but i would not be in the moment but sometimes i get to back to myself and on that time i feel and tell myself: “this is really happening, oh i am really like this? i am doing this” it’s like sudden realization of what i am and what i am doing. 

I am doing everything but i am not fully experiencing it and i am not in the moment i only live in my head, once in a week or month it comes all together but with emotions/realizations what i am doing in my life. I know what i am doing but it’s like only experiencing life on the surface/observing.

I feel confused of everything.

It’s not depersonalization/derealization.