Hi guys. So my brother is 32 and has not regularly left the house or engaged with anyone/thing in 15 years. I'm not as bad but to be honest I'm similar and always have excuses for my lack of activity. Our lives are being wasted. My brother suffers from OCD which is obviously a big part of his problem but I feel that there's something at the root of it for both of us. I've been reading a lot about avoidant personalities and I think that certainly describes us but it's not the full story: the anxiety and avoidance extends beyond just social interaction to every part of life. Motivational books and talks feel really good while I'm in them but nothing sticks, it doesn't really touch me. My brother, I think he is completely aware of his problems and self-defeating behaviour but will do anything to avoid confronting them, probably because he feels powerless to change. I feel powerless to change. We are capable of short-term work at our better times, but we always return to our bedrooms and our lives to inertia in the end.

We've both been treated for depression and medicated for it without any improvements. In recent years I have come to firmly believe that rather than our inaction and isolation stemming from depression, it is the personality disinclination to engage with life that causes our depression. I wish I could track one down but I've read articles about a recent trends psychiatrists notice among young people who may even superficially seem to be "functioning" but who while away there lives watching screens and staying home. I know this is hardly uncommon in this day and age, but it's not like we're gaming addicts or anything. We are quite simply trying to distract ourselves from real life because it's easier than engaging with it.

Does anyone know of a specific treatment or kind of therapy that would most effectively address this? I'd be really interested to hear opinions on our situation.