Looking at helium tanks. Thought about writing a note to everyone whenever I plan to do it but I'm conflicted cuz I kinda don't want to at the same time. Not sure why. I think I should but I just don't want to. I've just realized that I'll never be fully free. I live a pathetic life and no matter how hard I try, I'll never be enough for my family. If I ever make it in life, they will always find a way to degrade me and make me feel horrible. I don't want to live like that anymore. I would rather burn in the afterlife than live like that.