I'm not sure how to start this out, but here goes. I'm a 33 y/o cis gendered woman, pansexual with a strong preference towards women (I have quiet BPD). My partner is a 36 y/o gender fluid, trans woman who is still discovering themself, and is also pansexual with a strong preference for women. 

I don't know how to support them. I don't feel like I deserve them.... I'm on the verge of trying to run away again. 

I have had relationships with gender diverse people prior to my current one. I research and seek support so that I can be supportive of my partner's needs, no matter who they are. 

This one.... my god.... I can't tell you how amazing this human being is. I fall more and more in love with them every day. Their intelligence, their kindness, their talents, I can't believe how someone this incredible could choose me? 

What I'm confused about, though, is our sexual relationship. They want dick, all the dick. All day long, dick day dreaming. I don't have one, but I do aim to please my partner no matter how we've been born. We have talked about it. They have told me they love me in every possible way, and that dick is dick. There are moments when I feel like it's not true though... I don't feel like I'm enough in the intimacy department (I know I'm not). I don't feel like I'm who they truly want, and that they're just settling for me. 

For myself, I love pussy. I crave it, too. But I'm just not built the same way. There are moments when I want it, bad. But it's like a completely different dynamic for me. There's a tidal wave of emotion, respect and attachment when I'm with a woman, or anyone for that matter. I'm monogamous. Seems like the rest of the world isn't. 

They've told me if I wanted to be with another women for sexual purposes that I could, (for what seems to be an exchange for them wanting to get more dick into their life). 

I don't want that.... not yet anyway.... maybe not ever. 

I'm in love with my partner so deeply. I only want to be with them, and I only want them to be with me. I feel like a terrible person for wanting this because it takes away from their happiness. 

I'll mention, again, that we've talked about all of this as a couple. I guess I'm struggling with something within myself, something I don't understand. 

I don't even know what I'm asking for in this post at this point.