The never ending thought while in episodes that the rollercoaster will never end just... destroys me. I thought it'd be better after 2 years of weekly therapy and meds, but I'm failing horribly when exposed to the smallest trigger. I'm so tired. I just want to give up, I want to sleep and forget how cruel my world is even if it is for just 5 minutes... I won't act on my ideation, but having to be strong and keep moving forward is so hard... I'm so tired.