

Disclaimer: I am aware that this situation is not the same as everyone’s. There are many people with psychosis and schizophrenia who handle it differently. I’m sure there are many who might read this post. Just wanted to say that this isn’t meant to spread hate. I know there’s a lot I could have done differently in this situation. 

I’m 22f living in the same household as my 29 yr old brother. He had his first breakdown about 9 years ago. At first, it was the symptoms most people associate with schizophrenia like paranoia, delusions, unorganized speech.

 Now my whole family does everything for him, and tbh in my opinion it’s spoiled him. He’s stolen my car before despite no longer having a license. He forced himself on me and tried to kiss me. He’ll talk about pedophilia, gruesome executions, delusions about people and our pets. At first, I could deal with it, nod and smile, but everything just keeps escalating. It’s to the point that it doesn’t seem like schizophrenia by itself anymore. He can be violent too, punching out a nurse and my cousin. 


The other day he asked me in the kitchen if I want to be cared for or needed, and I said “both.” He got mad and said “you can’t choose both”. Then asked “family or friends” and I said “both.” He said “see that’s what’s wrong with you. That’s why youre mentally unstable.” All this while staring at me with these cold eyes, like it wasn’t him looking at me and it was frightening. I said “I can choose both” admittedly with a raised voice. He told me  I’m insane and crazy. I felt upset and ranted to my grandma about how it’s not fair that he gets away with everything. The next day he’s in my room telling me how he called the cops on me bc of how I was acting but clearly I’m “better now.” . Telling me he’s perfect now and that he’s never done anything wrong, he saved me and screamed “all you had to do was fucking thank me!” He also told me to watch what I say, and I should bow to him. 

I had enough, and I’m saying this is the first time I ever confronted him without holding back. “So it wasn’t wrong to steal my car and take off? It wasn’t wrong to question me and tell me I’m insane when I feel upset? It’s okay to just say and do whatever you want whenever you feel like it and I’m supposed to just be okay with it? Kissing my friends without their permission? Yelling over me while I’m trying to talk? And you don’t even know it. You don’t know how that makes me feel.” 

I didn’t yell at him, but I had enough. All the sources I read talk about how I can support him and I’ve been doing that for 9 years now and it just keeps getting worse and more violent and I can’t help but hold some resentment even if I know he’s mentally ill. What he’s doing isn’t okay and I am terrified of him, and it’s not fair to live somewhere I don’t feel safe. Plz don’t come at me for not living alone as I’m struggling financially and emotionally too. I have BPD as well which doesn’t really help in a situation like this. It’s not just the psychosis he was experiencing before. He abuses me, and apologizes just to do it to me again and again and again. It’s to the point that I don’t even believe he’s sorry for anything he does. I’ve always been empathetic but this time I’ve had enough. I won’t start anything or even talk about it anymore. He’s getting a new place and when he does, I’m considering just walking away. I hope he will change, but everytime I feel like he will everything escalates again. I don’t want to be prejudice against his illness, and at the same him I don’t want to act like this okay anymore. He yells at me and threatens me until I’m so shaken I can hardly function