I'm having a complete meltdown right now. So my parents are the reason I have BPD I've gone through quite a lot of trauma since I was 6 years old. But some how my mom knows how to manipulate me still.  And I just want her to love me and be a normal mom so bad. This month I lent her so much money because she promised to return it to me today when she got her disability cheque... she knew I needed the $700 for my bills. She knows I have nothing more and nowhere to turn to for help but she didn't send me it all back she's claiming shes trying to figure it out. She has my dad standing up at the highway trying to make $60 for them to send it back to me. 

I always fall for the tricks because all I want is my parents to live me and be the parents :I always wanted and always needed but now I'm sprialing because I have no idea what to do, and no one to turn to and I feel like I can't even breath.