I cant say I haven't tried I've tried despretly to fix everything and find a way into university, I first tried too go to a particular place for almost 3 months and quit, then I tried side lessons toc finish it off. Then I tried to find a job which worked for 3 months and eventually quit. And In the spare time of finding a job I had a complete break down for almost 1 year, lost all my motivation and all my will, I never took any pills and never had the help I needed. I always fe elt like a mundane human never really having any respectfully self worth so at that time I thought that I would really give up and not come back ever again. As usual I didn't and slowly found my way to my identity rebuilding my confidence, I went to a program also to regain That of what I had lost and it felt good for a moment. But now That I am here at this point I only have 1 month left but I haven't planned what to do this summer, and sincerely I think I'm going to flunk it again. Maybe I've tried this 8 times or so, and in some way I get in the same position I was from the beginning. I want to quit and not care about everything else I have behind me, because I am aware That I'm the only support system for my family, I have tremendous terror to go back home, and It happened when I was in the program also I told them that I never want to go back so on they found me this place. But the time I've spent here I thought I would be stronger and different but I am stuck being my usual self. And now im at the brink of quitting and maybe just escaping somewhere, I have fighted to not quit but at this point I dont feel like its fulfilling and I now its my last chance to make things work, But I don't know if I want That chance anymore. I think its also my idea of not planing to give up at 25 also something Im not proud of. But I really have no stable plan whatsoever. I feel like I am just living that's it, whether I have a purpose or not Im just not interested anymore. I'm tired and I feel like Im spoiled but I don't know how to live whit myself, its the first time in years That I am the only person I have to care of, when I used be home it was easier because then I didn't have to think so much, my purpose was taking care of a family member being the support system, being strong being the consultant, etc . But here I just have to take care of myself, and I feel like its so distant to me when I never cared about myself in the first place. I don't think I ever wanted to continue. 

I really don't know what to do anymore wherever I should keep this to myself , or I should tell my family or friends? 

Anyways thank you for reading this message.