1. I wish that ppl would just think of me. Literally, I just wish that ppl would think of me and how I feel and how what they are about to do/say is going to make me feel before they do something. I feel like im always hyper aware of how my actions might affect other ppl, and it feels like no one ever does that toward me. And that is so excruciatingly painful. And im so embarrassed by it tbh, I feel like im clingy and annoying for having these expectations, and 

I genuinely don’t know if this is too much to ask or expect of someone. Is it unfair?

2. I wish ppl would just take 5-10 minutes of their lives to google BPD just to try to understand what it is I go through and experience. I do this with ppl I care about and I feel like no one ever does this for me. It hurts my feelings so much when ppl who I love still refer to BPD as Bipolar Disorder. They probably mean nothing by it, but it’s like clearly I don’t matter enough to you to Google something for at least 5 mins. Again I just feel like im always caring too much and no one gives a shit about me… 

And again, I have no clue if this is expecting too much of ppl. Also not trying to sound self righteous but this is something I silently struggle with so heavily, but never want to say. I feel so stupid for caring so much about other ppl. 

Like I’m literally shocked when I see posts of ppl whose partners/friends/fam have BPD and they are asking how to help them. I cannot imagine anyone ever doing that for me…

3. Esp as a black woman, I wish ppl would stop telling me to “keep being strong” or “that’s just the way things are/have always been”. I don’t want to live my life pretending to have some superhuman strength I don’t have just because my ancestors went thru obscene amounts of trauma and I’m expected to be grateful I don’t have to. 

4. In general I just wish that ppl understood how exhausting and excruciating this disorder is. Like ppl have no idea, and tbh I get really frustrated when ppl compare it to “having some anxiety” or “feeling depressed sometimes”. Like no, it’s something that I feel like actively tried to ruin my life everyday and fighting against it is like fighting against an invisible monster every hour of every day. And it’s so fucking draining.

Anyway, thanks for listening.