I was awake until like 3am yesterday, which isn't really uncommon for me. But when I woke up today and checked my phone to see what time it is it was 4pm. So I apparently slept for 13h. I just feel weird and nauseous and tired today. My sleep has been a mess since I started taking new antidepressants around 3 months ago. This is the 2nd antidepressants I've tried and honestly I think I'll ask my doctor if I can just stop taking them and not try anything else. So far these have not been as bad as the last kind but they make me feel exhausted all the time. I also get really bad self harm urges (I've been sh free for over 6 years) and they do pretty much nothing positive for me. I still dread the withdrawals though. And I do feel sad about it because I was really hoping that it would work this time, but all it did was make things worse. I almost never manage to get to school now. Showering has become extremely hard, and that has never been an issue before. Everything just feels so difficult. I have been thinking that maybe I'll get some ice cream tomorrow, but I probably shouldn't because I am not in a great financial situation right now. I worry that this just won't work out. Sometimes I resent myself for being so dysfunctional. Thanks for reading this, if you did. I hope you're having a more tolerable day than I am.