I've been to a few counsellors, psychiatrists, etc. where the focus was on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).  While I can say it has helped me keep my anxiety from turning into full-blown panic attacks (or bringing myself down from one quicker), it stops being useful as soon as I'm told I need to go out and do things to "expand my comfort zone".  This is where - on multiple occasions - all progress grinds to a screeching halt, and I drop the mental health professional because I'm just throwing money away at that point.  (Not their fault, though.)

Unlike most people who seem to suffer from anxiety, I don't derive any satisfaction from doing things just for the sake of being able to say I did them.  I don't see the point of potentially making myself miserable from anxiety/panic based solely on society's belief that since we're the most intelligent species on the planet, we have to *live* our lives as opposed to simply *existing*.  Most people don't understand how overwhelming anxiety/panic can make even simple, everyday tasks feel, so why would I allow them to dictate how I live my life?

Consequently, I view everything I choose to do through the lens of "How much enjoyment am I getting out of this activity compared to how horrible my worst panic attacks feel?"  Yes, I know about catastrophizing and that you aren't supposed to assume you'll always have a panic attack.  It's not like I'm internally freaking out over doing things all the time, but from a logical standpoint, I can't guarantee that I *won't* have a panic attack (unless I take one of those pills which makes me drowsy and effectively kills my feelings, which I honestly don't want to resort to unless it's absolutely necessary), so I look at every situation as if I will end up having one anyway.  (Think Batman's rationale for perceiving Superman as a threat in Batman v Superman - treat even a 1% chance as an inevitability.)  Usually, the result is that I'm either having a panic attack at worst or I'm just bored at best, which honestly doesn't seem worth the "risk".  If I'd have just as much (or possibly even more) fun just staying at home playing video games, then why not just do that?

Now if you're reading this and thinking "You seem comfortable with your life; I don't see what the issue is"...that's what I normally think as well, but here's the rub.  My workplace closed last month for renovation and I got moved to a downtown location in the meantime.  Traffic and parking in the city sucks so I take a subway most of the way there.  I've actually found myself wanting to speak to some attractive people both on the subway and at my new location; there's something about seeing them routinely for only a brief period of time a few times per week that's messing with my head (especially since I'll be returning to my old location once the renovation's finished).  But because I don't do anything interesting - and admittedly, partially because I'm thinking with *both* heads (because I do still have a sex drive) - I'd likely either come across as a creep or just embarrass myself.  It feels like a case of trying to have my cake and eat it too.

Who would have any genuine interest in befriending a 30-year-old degenerate who spends all their free time no-lifing it at \[their parent's\] home?  I don't see it as a real possibility unless I make a compromise in the way I handle my anxiety and live my life, but at the same time I struggle to justify the hardship being worth it just to seem more interesting to people.  To those of you who have gotten past this "wall", what was your motivation for doing so.