Okay. So i would greatly appreciate anyone to read this in full. I want to explain the past two years of my life. 


Right now I’m a 21 year old guy. I try to live life as normally as I can; I’m even getting my own place in a few months. 

My story of cardiophobia starts 2 years ago, when I was 19. 

Now, I’m not exactly sure how it started. But I started having really bad anxiety over a bad breakup I had. It was with someone who I had immense feelings for - it felt more then just another relationship. After this breakup, I was obviously hurt and it brought on what I’m being told is panic attacks. 



The first panic attack:
I remember laying in my bed and I had this feeling in my throat - kind of like a jolt. Maybe a heart palpitation. At the time I didnt make this connection nor did I care, but when that happen I started freaking out. (Normally I wouldn’t, I just had a sudden feeling of doom - like something was wrong)

I ran downstairs to my mom and said “hey call an ambulance I don’t feel ok”

They came down, checked my vitals, told me it was a panic attack (first time I heard this term), and then they were on their way. 
I then spent the next weeks or so having these random jolts of “panic attacks”. In the car with a friend, at night, etc. 
I was walking around my room , tried taking walks, etc. and they would eventually subside. 




The BIG panic attack:

This is where the story changed a bit.
I’m laying in bed, and next thing you know, I had to use the bathroom. 
I stand up, and start walking to the Bathroom and then SUDDENLY my heart starts racing and pounding faster and harder then it’s ever have in my LIFE.
I can’t over exaggerate this. It was about 190-200bpm, I felt every beat like a hammer going into my chest. 

At this time I genuinely thought I was dying or going to die right here. 

Ambulance came… “it’s just a panic attack you’re okay” 




CURRENT DAY:

From this point on, I haven’t walked more then a few steps nor stood up for more than 10 minutes in a day. Ever since that event no matter what I do my heart races and pounds so hard the second I stand up. 

(Side: many ER visits, cardiologists, etc. all have cleared my heart into being healthy.)

I’ve lived my past two years with almost never going outside, no exercise, no walking, and using a wheelchair. 

I will randomly get the worst pounding and the worst palpitations ever. The palpitations make my heart feel like it’s stopping. They are like skipped beats or extra beats and they are one of the scariest symptoms. 

My life is ruined at this point. 

Can this really all be from anxiety? I can’t even walk. 

Side note 2: even slight things make my heart rate jump too high. 
For example playing a competitive video game it can go from like 70 and shoot to 150 during stress. But why’s it pound so hard? It’s like I’m going to die. 



I’ve lost everything in my life because of this and it’s hard to keep going. I have no one, not even myself anymore considering I can’t even fucking walk. 

Also: 24/7 pulse checker,Oximeter always on me, and I even will use a stethoscope to listen to my heart. 
(This is my daily life)