For the past year and a half, I’ve felt pressured by my family to drive and I’ve always tried to make them understand that I feel that I am not ready. Recently, I got a job and I had to start driving. I felt guilty bothering them about taking me so I pushed through and practiced. It went alright but the fear was still in the back of my mind. I was scared that I would space out hard and crash. 

It happened. My mind completely blanked during a turn and I hit a pole. The car is unrepairable and I feel awful. This just added stress and a burden to my family because of me. I want to process the impact properly but whenever I think about it, my mind blocks it and distracts itself. Now, we have to figure out how to get a new car. The insurance might cover a new car but if not, I just created a extremely difficult situation for my family. 

I feel so guilty. My mind wanders to what would’ve happened if I didn’t crash. I would’ve gotten home with the car ok and spent time with my family. I’m really lost. Right before my eyes closed when I was about to hit the air bag, I truly believed I was going to die.