Hi. I am struggling. If you manage to read through this, thanks in advance for any thoughts/help!

So I was in essentially the best place I've been in years up until a week and a half ago, then I crashed hard and fast. I have lost 12lbs, haven't been eating or sleeping well, have fallen out of all the routines I had in place. I feel like trash and and really struggling with self doubt.

There is only one correlation I can make in my mind. This started the day before I adopted and brought home a new cat. I currently own a dog and have as a single adult for over ten years. I previously owned cats, again for 10+ years on my own (I had to put my 22 y/o to sleep last year). I am an experienced pet owner. I waited a month to apply for this cat, did meet and greets, and prepped in every way I possibly could have prepped. I felt ready!

But now I am experiencing adoption remorse like I never have in my life before. I am questioning wanting to care for him for 18+ years. I feel completely inadequate. Part of me fears he is bored and wants a cat sibling (he had them at his foster home and loved them), part of me says this is just an excuse. I'm ashamed to admit I've lost my temper with him 2 times for eating my plants and yelled at him. Usually I am the type of person who would really frown upon someone returning a pet, but I've been questioning for the last week and a half if I made a serious mistake. I did communicate I'm feeling conflicted to his foster and they said they know I only want what is best for him and will support me either way. Everyone says to give it more time, but I'm not sure more time will make me feel something for him. And I worry about taking too long to return him to his foster and wasting everyone's time. If I do return him, I have already sworn not to adopt a cat again because I AM THE PROBLEM.

The cat is doing absolutely nothing wrong. It is ALL ME. He already adores my dog and my dog is fine with him. He uses his litter box, is very friendly. He is young (10m) and can have a lot of energy, but that is normal and to be expected but sometimes gets on my nerves because I want it to be quiet or whatever. He is also incredibly chatty, which is adorable, but has admittedly gotten on my nerves a time or two. So yeah, any "problems" are on me. He is a pretty perfect cat anyone would want, and I am an asshole.

I guess posting this here maybe I'm asking someone to just tell me what I should do - I know no one can really do that. But maybe if you can relate just knowing that would help. I've already googled adoption remorse 300x. I feel so lost.

Thanks again.