I can’t sleep so decided to journal for a bit in my notes app. I’m really sick of just keeping these thoughts to myself so thought I would post them here in hopes of finding someone to relate. I apologize if it’s a little haphazard but these are the unfiltered thoughts I’m currently having:

I feel the same way about not being able to connect with others as I do about having bad handwriting or not being able to draw. I see the image in my head of opening up to someone, I just can’t replicate it myself. 

I wish I could cry about my sadness. Express anything of it really. But instead it’s just a weight that’s always there. Like a grinding noise, static almost, always on loop in my brain. A lot of times I say it’s a voice telling me negative things, but it’s less a voice and more a powerful force constantly preaching failure.