I cant control my thoughts, i never have been able to, ive been through almost every hardship you can go trough from rape to child abuse. I see no point in living when i cant make friends i cant love anybody i cant work i cant feel O.K. Life has always been a downward spiral growing up poor and still being fairly poor, i was kicked out of my home of 7 years now living in a basement with grandparents that dont even want me here. Good thing i live on the highway.