hi. i have never posted here. i would love some help.. would love advice or just few related to. 
the naps i take as a coping mechanism for depression are making me more depressed and unmotivated but i just love being asleep.. 

i work two jobs to pay my bills and it can be exhausting. naps help, but i also use napping to avoid doing things i love in my free time (like art) because when i’m depressed it’s just easier to do nothing (nap) than something (art)

i really want to be an artist and a writer. i want to consistently make and sell my art, start a magazine, make activity books, poetry books.. i have started many projects and many unfinished projects sit on my desk while i nap in my spare time 

at this rate i may accomplish a handful of small things in my lifetime, and i want more for myself than that. i have big dreams, but just live them out literally- in my dreams.. any advice, encouragement, or just feeling related to will help me i think. 

additional info about me:

i am 27
i abused substances for 6 years (painkillers, opioids, amphetamines) i am 1.3yrs sober. this past also makes me desperately want to stay awake and to live my life to the fullest now that i’m sober.. but it’s also been a tough depressing life so i’m tired a lot lol 

i am a victim of munchausen syndrome by proxy and left my abuser/got healthy at age 23. i think it is very natural to me to want to lay on the couch and just rest because of how many years i spent sick. (even though i am physically healthy person now)

i get 7-8 hrs of sleep a night, and in my free time i nap from 1-4 hours 

i am in therapy and have been for years.

much love to everyone who reads ❤️