It’s awful. I thought I’d never experience that feeling again, but here it is. 

Waking up and the first thing I feel is worry and dread about having to go. The moments leading up to it, stepping out the door, my home, my safe space, and into the car. Then finally, I’m on my way. 

It all happens so slow and yet it also happens too quick. I get there and my mind, it just worries too much, it thinks too much too. 

There was a point where high school became fine. There was a point where I became neutral with it. Sometimes even happy about going to school.

I hope I get that feeling with this job. I hope it comes fast, but it took me two years to finally feel the weight on my shoulders be lifted when I attended high school. Two years, but this is only a part time job. I don’t think the weight is going to lifted anytime soon. I want to feel at ease with myself.: