I asked my boss to consider me for an early promotion. This is a huge step for me as I would usually avoid  difficult conversations. The reason I asked is that I've had tons of positive feedback and (although my anxiety tries to tell me otherwise) I am actually pretty great at my job and evidence points to the fact that in performing at the level required to be promoted in one year. I figured why wait? I'm trying to push myself to do things that make me uncomfortable.

My boss said that they would have to have a conversation with upper management and get back to me. It was right before we finish up for the holidays and I get the impression that my boss was not happy that I'd brought it up (I don't know though, there's no evidence to say my boss is unhappy, but it took a serious tone and our interactions are usually so positive - I thrive on validation that I usually receive from my boss).

The result is that upper management are going to speak to me about it after the holidays. That's it. All the information I have.


So my problem is that since then I've been:
- ruminating about the conversation
- worrying about what my boss thinks of me
- worrying whether I've crossed a line and damaged relationships
- worrying about all the things I've done at work and whether I made any mistakes and oh my god they're going to think I'm deluded
- losing sleep over this
- absolutely consumed by worry to the point it's affecting my mood and behavior at home, which is affecting my partner too

It's been 4 days like this and I don't know if it was worth it. I could use some perspective and encouragement. On the one hand it's great that I'm out there representing my interests, but on the other hand I totally lack the resilience to have this conversation and now I need to wait 2 weeks to find out what is being said about me and I'm falling apart in the meantime...