Last night I was talking with my boyfriend of almost 4 years and I realized that I have really have no awareness of my mood...even though I think I do.

I was on medication for about a year and it just helped me to be able to get the things done that needed to be done. Went off of them...boi was that a shit show. I'm back on my meds and busy stabilizing. I also started with therapy.

I guess my question is how much do meds actually help you after 2 + years? Do you still have cycles? How bad do they get? I have asked my psychiatrist but it just didn't really feel like an answer. 

How am I suppose to look at my cycles when I feel I'm either going up or down? Should I just try and treat the symptoms? 

Communication seems to be a big issue these days with my partner. How do you communicate to someone when you are dealing with ultradian rapid cycling? I feel like I can't trust any of my thoughts because I seem to feel different about everything ever few hours. I genuinely don't know how to communicate with my partner. Any advise will be appreciated.