Hello hello community,

How are we doing today !

I have been reading some of the posts in this community every now and then, and every time, I feel I can relate to a part of what you guys say. After all, mental health issues are not a straight forward process, it's as complex as it can get.

However, I am not here to vent and share negative vibes, nor I am here to tell you "think positive", cause you know, I am not stupid XDDD.

Anyways, I wanna share with you a bit of what I have been through and the change of perspective that I reached, and I am pretty sure this will only boost your energy even a little, no drawbacks I promise :D.

So, I am 25 yo, developed mental health issues bla bla bla, anxiety bla bla, panic bla bla. A lot of labels from different specialists, but to be honest, it was not as bad as some people, I managed to graduate, keep my relationships, etc etc.

What I want to talk to you about, is the following, A couple of months ago, I had what some call the dark night of the soul, you know, when you feel like you hit rock bottom, and that's it for you, (not necessarily suicidal) but you know, you kinda give up and feel that the world is being unfair.

At some point during that night, I had this thought "I cannot live with myself anymore", and it just got stack in my brain, I couldn't distract myself or change my thoughts, that was the theme of the night. And it made me sad, mad, frustrated and every other negative feelings on the scale of the energy levels.

However, being the skeptical overthinker that I am, a thought snapped through my brain,  "I cannot live with myself anymore" is more than it looks like, follow up with me, there is an "I" and a "Myself", that's literally 2 different people, the I cannot be with myself. THAT LITERALLY MADE ME THRILLED, like which one am I, it feels like there is this neutral creature "I", and I think that is what defines me, not the myself.

I found me a distraction to think about that night, and this time, it felt like a healthy distraction, because what I am doing here, is finding my true self. Now, I kept thinking, the reason that I am feeling this way, apart from physiological issues, is mainly external factors !!! (relationships, work, childhood issues, unresolved problems, suppressed / repressed / denied feelings), we all know that that's the real cause of this misery, but you kinda can't do that much about it.

Then I started thinking, who should be responsible of MY feelings, me or external factors ? they are MY feelings, I mean imagine you are having a coffee in a coffee shop chilling, and a random dude walks by and says "hey, feel sad now", that's bizarre right? are you really gonna feel sad over that ? hell no! you will probably through that cup of coffee on his face xDDD.

Now, make the analogy, I should be the one responsible of how I feel, I mean it's true that our bodies are stuck with multiple messed up issues, but try this for instance, a very very simple technique that I just want to put here so you can start questioning things. So, Close your eyes, and stop your brain from working, literally do not think about the past nor the future, stop that narrator that never stops in your brain, you can do that, and just be still. You can focus on your breath if you want, that helps stopping the brain from working. Just stop it, imagine that your brain melted and it became a lake, and be still that's it, even for seconds. Well let me tell, you will feel so peaceful, you shut down the engine ! you are just in the moment, not in the past, not in the future, this exact moment. Surrender your body, WHATEVER you are feeling, as bad as it may seem, as frustrating as it is, as painful as it is, it's only there because you are resisting it. Resistance my friend is what causes pain, I mean, why don't you just surrender your body to the feeling !, I am scared ? screw it, I don't care that's my body go nuts, let the fear spread in your body, don't label it or anything, just let it run through with no resistance, and just stay still, no thinking. Guess what ?  that feeling will walk around, here and there, finds nothing and just leaves, and trust me it leaves once and for all, I don't mean it's over no, I mean what you just did is you permanently reduced the fear that is hidden in your self. Fear / Panic / Depression / Sadness and grief etc. they are all the same. I mean you have been resisting them for years, try something else for a change, let it go, you are not gonna die so just say "then what ? " 

Now, what can we do with this exploration ? well it's up to you my friend. Personally, after finding out that and trying it out, I decided to work on my true identity, it's not an obsession or a full time job lol, it's simple meditation, simple breathing, simple letting go and surrendering mechanisms. And mark my words, you will build a small base, you will boost your energy enough, so you can think straight and start improving and making the decisions that will make you be better.

I hope I am making sense and I am not blabbering xD,

Anyway, I hope this was even a bit helpful, but I am telling it cause I tried it myself, and I have been in deep shi\*.

Please feel free to reach out to me to discuss this matter, it always helps to talk about stuff and can potentially help you :D

Be safe,

I love you all