For starters even writing this is making me flustered because I cant think of the proper words to explain myself - So many little things in my life make me get so upset so fast. I like to think of myself as a easy going nice and down to earth guy. I don't like confrontation and I don't like to argue for the sake of argument. When I am mad I do my best and make a mental effort to not push my emotions onto other people... With that said I feel so out of control of my emotions. I take 20mg of Lexapro daily and honestly not sure if its doing anything. I have been taking it for roughly the last 7 years and the only thing I notice is that if i don't take it I am a total asshole (my words not anyone else) I get even more upset faster over smaller things. To give some examples that I can take just from today. I currently do delivery for Doordash and if there is a road that's closed and the gps keeps telling me to go that way and wont redirect i start to have a panic attack and yell at my phone in the car. About 5 minutes ago I was looking for a guitar pick and I know I have about 20 but I couldn't find one and flipped out and not even close to being in the mood to work on music anymore. I don't have the money for a therapist nor do I personally think it would help with me. I don't know if I need to up my medication or switch to another one but I know the way that I act is not normal. I shouldn't be so upset over such little things and It shouldn't be so easy to ruin my day. I'm sure there are a lot of you out there that may be dealing with similar stuff and I just want to know what you think I should do. The worst part about this is the health care system is a joke when it comes to mental health. They don't care and i cant take a day off work every 3 weeks to see my doctor for a follow up which i know is the case when you change meds or go up on a dosage. Honestly how difficult it is to get my meds and dealing with the 2 hour long wait time and appointments are one of the biggest elements of my anxiety. I feel so helpless and it feels like the whole system doesn't give a fuck about me, between work and health insurance and getting doc appointments and the on going follow ups that i need to take work off for is just so overwhelming. I'm getting at the end of my rope and really need some advice because it seems every single day I am not happy because of some small thing that happened and completely ruined my mood. Final note, If you plan on saying some bullshit response like just don't let it get to you or count to 10 please find the door because that is not the advice I need right now.