I’m going through one of the most difficult times of my life. Me and my partner of 10 years have called it quits.
I don’t even know who I am without him. Everything reminds me of him, and the fact that he’s dealing with this much better than I am kills me inside. 

If I wasn’t so pathetic, I’d go through with killing myself, but I’m afraid to. I don’t know how to sit in the discomfort of my emotions.


My mind is in a hundred different places. A part of me wants to kill myself, sleep around, drop out of college, reinvent myself, move back in with my parents... I just don’t know what to do anymore.


I don’t know what my life is anymore, and I truly mean that. I go through fits of crying to fits of anger. The fact that I had nothing to do with me developing BPD just pisses me off even more. I want to be a normal fucking person and not feel things on a meth-head level.


This event has really made me realize just how AGONIZING emotions truly are. Nothing is ever a kept promise in life. People change, they end up wanting different things, they lie to you, withhold things from you, but still look you in the eye and say they love you. I hate people. I hate humanity. But more than anything, I hate myself for not being a big girl and dealing with this the way most normal people would.