Long story short, he has a friend that I feel threatened by and I have been trying my best to accept this friend and not get upset when he spends time without me. This friend has been pretty shitty to me in the past though, and I immediately get triggered just at the thought of him. During a conversation with my bf I learned this friend would be coming to visit soon. I started to feel emotional and I told my boyfriend I needed a minute to just process it, I needed some time alone so I didnt lash out. This conversation happened in the car. We get home and I go to my separate room to try to calm myself down. I couldnt do this and ended up taking a nap. He was upset about it and thinks I was avoiding him to piss him off, when in reality I was trying to regulate my emotions. He says this is the millionth time Ive done this and hes tired of it, all that good stuff. The thing is though I really think I did what I could. What else could I have done? I told him it wasnt his fault I felt that way and I didnt blame him, just that I needed a minute to process and understand why I REALLY felt that way at the mention of his friend. I did this so we wouldnt argue, so I wouldn’t lash out. But it still ended up so messy anyway. He wont stop taking it personally and wont believe me when I say I just needed a minute alone. Now Ive lost him and Im just so confused. I changed how I reacted and mostly kept my cool yet somehow Im still to blame. Is he just taking my need for space too personally or should I have handled this differently?