Hello strangers on the internet! Why am I simultaneously terrified of my boss and want to impress her and don't want to get fired but also do want to get fired (because I need to learn how to do my job and chances are I will be unemployed for several months if I quit so I feel like I have no right to quit) ? My boss isn't necessarily a bad person but she just yells a lot and she threatened to fire me, and since then I've lost a lot of sleep, done a lot more things wrong each one increasing my anxiety more. I feel like I'm all too sensitive too but I can't control my anxiety at all and I haven't been this bad in years. 


I had a traumatic 3 months at my internship a few years ago, and have problems with my narcissistic mom lol. So having a female boss who reminds me of my old employer with her freakouts is eating me alive from fear. I've been having panic attacks and hysteria and I hate being this way. Is it just how work is supposed to be? Please help?