I’m so sick of where I am in my life. I’m pregnant with second, which is fine, but I feel like after she’s born I just wanna abandon everyone and go off into the woods somewhere by myself. 

No partner. No kids. No phone. Just me sitting alone in the woods and if I get killed by a bear I don’t even care. I’ve accomplished nothing in 30 years. I have no career, my job is easily replaced by any human walking down the street. My kid is cool, but he could find a mom better than I am anyway. My partner finds me unattractive when I’m very pregnant and says pregnancy bellies creep him out, was same with first. (Pregnancy bellies scare me as well so I get that, I’m unattractive to myself honestly) 

I’m broke. My car is an old rusty POS. I’ve never once worked in the field my degree is in because I found out I faint at the sight of a bleeding human, or get super sick at blood,  and now have 0 interest in that subject.  I own nothing worth anything, no house, no land. 

Honestly if I didn’t have children I would have just ended it years ago. Antidepressants do nothing but make my entire family gain massive amounts of weight and I refuse to take a chemical of false happy. I wish I could just retreat off by myself and explore the world but I’m too poor for that.