does anyone’s anxiety lead them to their mind playing tricks on them and seeing things that aren’t there? let me preface it with this: i just got out of a 10 day quarantine because my husband had covid and that whole time i occupied the downstairs and cared for our 16 month old. the stress added up as the days went by because i’m not good sitting with myself. i was doing ok at night, only had to drink a couple nights to loosed up before bed and wasn’t having my crazy people thoughts creep in too heavy. that all started as soon as quarantine ended, which is the strange part.

i have a past drug history with a wide variety of things but my mental fragility really comes from a time i was doing a lot of molly and having visual hallucinations of demons. ultimately it stole a big chunk of my sanity and time. i have since struggled and recovered from other addictions and come to an amazing, healthy and beautiful part in my journey. 

my issue is last night i get up to pee and i’m
transported back to this ‘demons are coming’ like booo! a ghost, entity, exorcism type demon delusion. it’s one i’m extremely familiar with from my drug use but i find it flares up during times of stress and has me holding my breath and listening when i wake up at night. last night in particular i had a visual of a women’s face in my front door as i looked down the stairs which is directly below our bathroom. so i spent the rest of my night from 3am on just thrashing in bed, unable to go pee because i legit almost had a heart attack. i know now it was just an illusion because i did hang up a wreath and there’s no entity in my house lol. 

BUT WHY AM I POSTING ABOUT THIS at 7am on reddit looking for anyone who can relate. i feel straight up crazy right now and my husband says my anxiety is legitimately concerning at times. am i literally losing my mind seeing shit? should i be more concerned. it’s just so weird cause i just felt like i do so great sometimes and this whole past i’ve had seems so far in the distance but creeps up ever so often. 

if you’ve read this far god bless u