I have been working on a painting for a year. My gallerist had a buyer for it. $6500. I don't have much money, so this would be quite an amount for me to have.
My BPD is triggered under stress. So only a couple of hours before my gallerist should pick up the painting,  I overpainted it. Deleted it. !!!
My low self-esteem struck me, and I couldn't see any potential in it, so I thought it was the best thing to do. 
The day after I regretted my decision. 
Now I feel like shit. I ruined a good painting,  1 year of work, a good amount of money, and the relationship to the Gallery. 
How can he trust me again? How can I trust myself,  making the right decisions?