You know I just realised something. I would never say 'fuck me' in frustration back then as I thought it was like a curse, no matter how shit things got, I would never say it. But nowadays idk I feel like I'm acknowledging the shit that happens. Idk If it's a good thing or not but I'm trying to see the silver lining I guess, it's like acknowledge the bad and the good 

Um if you guys are wondering why I said it too I think its really embarrassing now that I type it. Basicslly ordered food online and it didn't arrive and also spent 30mins trying to get a refund. I know it sounds dumb but I swear it was like the tipping point for someone like me who barely slept 4hrs and had to work all day

Idk it all feels small now but yeah I am just writing a diary page at this point