It's my 20th birthday in three days. I am excited but part of me can't help but feel depressed and afraid. I feel so behind in life compared to all of my friends and people i went to school with. I work a job i hate and barely earn enough to live happily, I have next to nothing in my savings which stresses me out especially when i hear that most people my age at least have something saved. I'm not even studying either which honestly makes me feel ashamed and like a failure. I just have so many dreams but no motivation to chase them. I don't know what to do anymore.

I spend a lot of my time reminiscing about my childhood and just wishing i could go back to being 8 years old again. It feels like i was 8 just yesterday but in reality it was 12 years ago. Its terrifying really.. i feel like my life has just passed by so quickly and I wish i could get it back and relive those moments. There are so many things i would do differently but i can't go back. It hurts. It hurts seeing my family members grow older as the years go by and it hurts to think that one day they won't be here anymore. Does anybody have any advice on how to come to terms with growing up? I just can't help but feel depressed about it.