I wonder if I will ever find someone who can help me.
I tried many psychodynamic therapies, as well as Transference-based Psychotherapy, and they were all very hard to do. I do not feel better at all.

Now, I started a new therapy. I asked one of my prof to be my therapist since I thought she was a caring/competent person. However, I had my first appointment with her, and now I suspect that she's so desperate to have patients...
(she is not supposed to take her former students as patients - according to her website she doesn't treat BPD - she doesn't give receipts - her office is located in a weird building...)

I still would like to believe that she's a compassionate and caring person... I have kinda 'severe' BPD, and if she is not competent enough, that will just worsen my case...

During the first meeting, she already talked about having someone to replace her as a therapist during her vacation... isn't that being incompetent? (I believe that's pushing me to be dependant to therapists)

What should I do? I'm really desperate I need help so much...
I'm tired of trying to work with so many different therapists and having to start it all over again and again...

All insight is more than welcome. Thanks :)