I know the title might be redundant but, all I’ve known is that I’m an absolute dickhead and even though nobody’s said it to my face I know they are thinking it. I have to put on a facade in front of others to make them happy, Nobody knows the real me who is just a genuinely awful person who only cares about himself. I don’t get it I’ve shown this side to others like me mom before, I don’t get how she still loves me even though she’s been through far more pain than me. I don’t get why she doesn’t just scream and beat me like I deserve, I know this is a place for people who have genuine problems that matter but I just needed to get this out here I’m very sorry.