I know I’m a walking time bomb of relationship problems, and everyone who knows me knows that’s me. While it sucked being the identified patient in my previous long term relationship, it’s funny looking at things now. When we first started dating, she came on strong, talking about marriage in the first few months. I should have known better, but she validated all my craziness, so I was hooked. We tore each other to shreds mentally and emotionally for years despite loving each other dearly, and now that we’ve been apart and I can see the same behaviors from her in her new relationship, it makes me feel good knowing that it wasn’t completely me messing things up. 

Considering she was talking about “he’s the one” less than a month after being Facebook official, and now less than a month after that, she’s put off moving back home to be with her family (the oldest of whom are not doing well, and the youngest of whom barely know their auntie) which she’d been planning for the better part of a year to move in with the guy. I’m certainly no model citizen, sitting here alone in my studio almost three years after we ended our relationship still alone, but I can’t help but feel like I’m doing alright when I see her making those same mistakes all over again and I’m the one in therapy multiple times every week making slow and steady progress towards being in love with myself first. 