Sorry for any grammatical errors or bad English it's 3 am here and I can't sleep.
Hello I'm kinda going through a tough time. 4 years ago my parents brought me to study in London ,I hate it I hate every single inch of this place if I could I would drown the whole fucking island my parents buy tickets for my home country Bulgaria rarely I missed numerous birthdays events new years I missed my grandma's funeral for crying out loud I've been crying in secret all thos times on my birthday I just go in the bath put the water on and cry my eyes out even my body is stressed out whenever I'm in the uk I get a some problems that dissappear the second I go back home in Bulgaria. I went to school 2 years before the final exam and due to covid I got predicted grades which were OK, I managed to go to a college and it's been going better the second or last year but cause of the grades from the first year and the grades from my high-school better universities might not accept me my mom has been giving me hard time for it and I feel like shit she wants me to do at least the same as my sister but she studied in Bulgaria till the last grade and just went to university where the grades are looked at better. Rn I'm the only guy in my class with a book writing the actual material a even my teachers said if anyone can make it till the end of the year and go to a good uni is me but by the looks of it other people somehow did better in the previous year one guy literally never listens in class and once he broke his credit card out of boredom who does that. My parents are of no help one says people have bigger problems your acting like a kid and now it's your fault other gets angry at me and we just argue all the time my sister is trying to help anyway she can. I never even liked education I'm doing all this cause my mom is giving hard times for it and literally mentally passive agresivly drives me nuts multiple times i've consided suicide but I don't have the balls for it, just from both my parents I feel like I'm getting anger issues if universities don't accept me I might have to repeat the class this is 2 more years and I have to lay for it and redo my high-school grades 2 universities haven't answered to me yet one didn't accept me but all universities I enrolled are big and known my sister said I might get in with clearance after but idk. Now idk what I'll do I've been holding this up for so long and just need some helping words. Sorry for any grammatical errors or bad English I wrote this thing in 3 am and can't go to bed cause I'm stressed out.