I don't know what to do anymore, I'm going to end up losing my job and I'm putting my family through so much stress. I've on and off dealt with depression and social anxiety through several stages of my life as a young one, a teenager, and in my earlier 20's which lead to a couple years of drug use. But for some reason I'm unable to use the same coping skills I was able to back then, this time around I have no thoughts, no interests, nothing makes me happy, no ambition, no sort of routine in my daily endeavors. My job requires me to be incredibly social with people which I've never been good at but my family needs the good source of income. I'm currently trying to find a more suitable job for myself one that maybe will isolate me a little bit more, but my lack of ambition and motivation is making it hard for me to day dream of what it is I would want to do. Constantly I sit here and think how do I stop feeling like this I have no other thought process my attendance at work is just awful because of this. It's near impossible to keep a train of thought going as to what should I do next when I'm working it's either no thought at all or I'm constantly panicking and thinking oh my God please stop feeling like this. The harder I try to focus my mind on what I'm currently doing the more defeated I get because I'm always so confused and unable to think of what the next step should be. I've tried to get back into old hobbies that once brought me joy and peace and they no longer work, I've tried to start doing new things but learning right now has become so hard. I feel so dumb, I know I'm not but yet the things I've learned I'm unable to use in conversation or even in my own head to bring myself happiness. I hate the person I am, I have everything in the world two healthy children, a wife, a loving and supportive family, and even furry friends but yet I lack the abillity to think for myself and I lack the abillity to be happy. I live in this constant state of confusion and I'm so tired of it...