I (17F) struggled with depression and anxiety for years now which I’m medicated for. Last Sunday (one week today) my boyfriend broke his back and had to undergo major spinal surgery. Being the one who saw it happen and called the ambulance it had really affected my mental health. 

Everything was going so well and I’m so happy with him things were going good for once and now I’m suicidal, wanting to hurt myself, not eating or drinking much and yeah. I feel so guilty when he’s the one who needs my attention and I should be strong for him. I haven’t seen him since the accident because of bloody COVID and I don’t know if I can go on. 

I need to be here for him and I love him so so much. I may be naive but I want to grow old with him I’m just don’t know how to get past this hurdle. I’m so tired I can’t even cry anymore. 

Essentially I don’t know what to do with myself. I just need him to come home and be okay. It’s so painful to see him like this. 

Thanks for reading x