I dropped out of highschool around my junior year? I'm working towards getting my ged and I'm in college now. I thought I was doing pretty well adjusting with the new work load and pushing through it. I used to be really suicidal around the time I dropped out but lately all the thoughts and urges stopped. 

Then my dog died. I feel it's kinda a pathetic excuse for my life going thru the shitter. But I feel so guilty that I was hella depressed throughout her life. My parents especially my mom kinda was hands off. Didn't really play with her so she mostly got attention from me and my sibling. But i had no energy and she didn't get enough excerise or fun as she could. I would dissappear for weeks from hospitalization or just being locked in my room. I wish I could give her a better life. She died when she was 5 1/2 years old from a brain tumor so she had a long life ahead of her before she got sick. I feel like throwing up everytime I go home. I keep expecting her to greet me when I leave my room or when I come home from school. I can't focus and I kinda just want to die. My mom keeps telling me that she wouldn't want me to just give up again but it's kinda hard to fight through all the grief and anger seeing my parents just bounce back after a few hours of her being dead. I feel sick all the time.