Hello wonderful community,

I was diagnosed 10 years ago, have tried over 12 meds during that span. Two months ago, my doc switched me off abilify and onto seroquel. It was a terrible experience being on both meds but especially seroquel. I told my doc and he wanted to switch me to lithium. I got all the blood work done and have the pills. However, still haven’t taken them after 2  months off meds. 

I noticed that off meds I am not emotionally numb anymore—I finally have a range of emotions instead of just “manic” and “depressed” and “numb.” I am able to connect better with people because I experience happiness now around people I love—who would have thought?! I haven’t felt stable and happy for at least 10 years since I was diagnosed. 

Here are some examples of how I perceive myself to be stable and happy:

1) I am holding a job for longer than 1.5 months for the first time ever in my 30 years on this planet.
2) I feel LOVE and HAPPINESS  for the first time in a long time.
3) I quit smoking cigarettes a month ago after having smoked for 11 years.
4) yesterday was my first day not smoking weed in 5 years.
5) I am genuinely connecting with my partner and supporting from my heart.

I am not doubting my diagnosis. I am not saying that I am not going deny the benefits of meds for people and am going to take my first dose of lithium tonight. But wtf? Every doctor I’ve had has told me that my life will immediately go to shit off meds. And mine seems to be the most stable it’s ever been rn.

Anyone else have this experience? 

Tdlr: Off all meds for 2 months. Not emotionally numb and feel “stable”for the first time in 10 years. Going to start my first dose of lithium tonight.