I feel like I have BPD , I always thought I might’ve had bipolar before I heard about bpd . I’ll start off with my when I was younger I was abandoned by my mom when I was 1 . As I got around age 9 I started to notice I was really different . I’d have episodes where my mood would get triggered for little to no reason and I’d get super violent . That episode would last around 5-10 minutes I would totally black out during them and after I would be like oh shit I just did that and immediately feel so guilty and apologetic . Around this time (very young I know ) I’d also tell my loved ones they didn’t love me . I wanted them to really tell me and show me they loved me . I was also going (from what I know I was never diagnosed) through some really bad depression I’d cut try to attempt and plan suicide . As I got older and started dating I noticed how unstable my relationships were. They were always on and off never stable at all especially once I hit high school I’d always be leaving them have very intense anger and I’d call them names and just be very nasty towards them i would also jump from relationship to relationship . I needed that constant reminder from them like I did when I was 9 with my parents I needed to constantly be told I was loved I’d always ask them do you love me do you love me do you love me . What I noticed as well Is because of my mom not being there I started to want to have a child very young it was something I always wanted for whatever reason I ended up becoming a mother at 15 it was something I always talked about as soon as I got into a relationship . Going back to relationships I’d really put somebody I loved on pedestal always talking about how they are amazing it was like a such good high it was addicting . Once I hit 17/18 is when I noticed that I became more violent like when I was young . I’d get very physical I’d break peoples belongings when I was upset I wouldn’t let my spouse leave when he wanted to leave cause I didn’t want to be left I was super clingy I needed to be around him all he time . I’d feel like he was going to leave me I felt like he was cheating and lying to me . I can honestly say I experience sad, mad , happy all in a day and it’s quick . I also would experience paranoia I felt like everybody was talking about me and even I at one point thought a family members posts on Facebook was about me that they were talking crap about me even though there was no proof that it was  I feel like people in public are making fun of me . I cannot control anger at all and I wouldn’t say that I have no sense of self really but if somebody were to ask me who I was I honestly wouldn’t have an answer I don’t really know what I want to do in life cause it always changes .