My last FP of 3+ years was abusive, physically, sexually and mentally/ emotionally. The emotional abuse was almost constant- gaslighting, acting nice then turning mean. Ignoring me to hurt me intentionally. Lying about stuff. But I stayed and stayed and stayed not because I hate myself or felt I deserved it, but because I was terrified of losing access to him. My FP attachments are obsessive and pretty much impossible for me to fight.

He recently just walked away from me and I have officially lost him. It was very difficult at first but I kept telling myself that he was so abusive it was for the best. I said it to myself over and over again. Somehow it sunk in- it's been about three months now and I don't have that desperate FP desire. It's still there but not at an obsessive level. I'm not thinking about him constantly etc.

Has anyone else stayed with an abusive FP? Please no judgement, this is humiliating enough as it is 😞.