So I became a victim of circumstances and I don't want to talk about it. Every day is the same for me as it was yesterday and will be tomorrow. I'm just bored and I don't have the strength to do anything serious. I have summer holidays so I have really nothing to do. 

All my friends are very far from me and very rarely reply to my messages and that's why I stopped writing anything to them at all. I thought it would be nice to find "Internet friends", but everyone has completely different interests or if they coincide, the age audience is different. I don't know.

Sometimes strange thoughts come to me. Sometimes I just don't understand anything at all. I realize how terrible and unnecessary I am, but at the same time I hate all my surroundings and equate myself with the highest being. I got it. Everyone doesn't take me out. My life takes me out. I hate it. For me, the best time is when I lie down and sleep. All I have is a stupid phone. I hate the place I'm in now. It's unpleasant for me to walk the streets, I just want to shoot everyone. I just hate everything. Maybe I'm the only living person and it's all a big illusion? Sometimes my mood changes for no particular reason and I feel as good as if I'm rolling down the hill and it's not my problem. But now it seems to me that everything is putting pressure on me, everything just asks me to do something. If I jump from the 5th floor, I can survive. But if there's no chance in the subway. But I don't want to do it, I feel sorry for people who had to see my miserable existence at the same time. I have absolutely nothing to do and I’m bored.