Against my better judgment, I decided to try online dating. Anyone familiar with that arena knows how important pictures are. So being the delusional mess that I am, in the depths of some of my darkest days in 2022, I decided to hire a photographer to take profile pics that I lacked.

Pictures and videos with me in them make me wish either they didn't exist or I didn't exist. I've always been short and fat, but this time I felt *ugly*. Seeing that in professional photos with great lighting and a bokeh effect makes it seem all the more obvious what a polished turd I am.