I’m seriously at the point where my rage is so intense that it’s messing with me physically( stomach pain, migraines, irritability etc) as well as mentally. For context myself as well as my sibling and mom believe my dad is seriously a narcissist, malignant at that. Unfortunately he’s never been diagnosed because he insists he’s the victim, we plot to go against him and we’re the crazy ones not him but he seriously checks off all the boxes to a T. He has no empathy, never has anything positive to say, insults my siblings and mother every single day. I butt in but I’m so tired of doing this for years and years I’m 29 y/o I’m drained to the core. Now when he goes off on my family now I go into rage mode.. if looks could kill these are times. I’m starting to get violent thoughts during this and it’s scaring me. I use to feel this in my late teens but it did subside for  awhile but now it’s come back full force. I’m scared that during these moments I will lose it and act on these thought. In my early 20s I tried to physically fight him twice and my brother held me back thankfully. I need coping skills something I can do during this time. I could walk away but I have this need to speak up and defend my family because I love them but it’s taken a huge toll on me… also I have tried to move out but I can’t financially afford to pay an apartment on my own. I feel stuck and I’m tired of feeling the rage and anger all the time :( 

Does anyone have tips or skills you’ve learned to deescalate rage episode? I’m currently seeing a psychologist and doing my own inner work with a CBT workbook at home.