Anyone in the same boat? Because having  narcissistic parents is so torturing. And then there’s my self centered sister who managed to get me to trust her after nearly 2 decades, which was a big mistake because I accidentally told her about my self harming issues after she saw wounds on my wrist, she bawled her eyes out, threatened to tell my parents, called me stupid, problematic and selfish who could do such stupid things to myself. She spent an hour in my room forcing me to tell her why I could do such a thing to myself before I finally smiled and came up with a lie that I only did that once and that I was just trying new ways to control all the anger and emotions. Real Surprised she fell for that:3 

And then the next moment she tells me the only reason why she ain’t telling my parents is because she pities me. It’s been a few months since I last told her this(the very last time I trusted her since she led out all of the secrets I’ve once told her) and just that day I refused to give her what she wanted and she brought the situation back up and threatened to tell my parents about what I did to myself. 

That was a pretty bad trigger because I started getting anxiety and all the suicide thoughts kept coming and made me so convinced that killing was the only way out. But I’m glad I was strong enough to control myself:) Still I feel like I’m suffocating having to constantly live a lie in-front of my narcissistic parents and knowing that my sister may tell on me any moment. 