Hello guys,

I'm almost 9 months post break-up. I tried to be friends with my exwBPD but she completely painted me black and treated my emotions like it was nothing. So I went for no contact and with help of friends, Reddit and meds I lasted 2 months. After that time I broke and wrote to her. From this time it's back and forth no contact and crying telling her how much I love her and miss her, but she got new supply so I know it's over.

My birthday is in a week and I know she will call me or write to me. In past few months I told her milion times who she is to me and how much I always loved her and what happened to me after discard. 

How can I tell her last time how much love I have? What can I do that she will understand? What is the proper way to address it for the pwBPD. 

I want to say it last time and just go full NC, because I just can't live with it. I'm thinking about leaving the city and country if therapy and no contact won't help. But I'm constantly trying my best to stay strong.