What is the point? I barely have enough income to help my partner and be independent. Just because we're living together in a relationship. I hate dirty government money. I just want to get by. I want to be like everyone else and be normal. But I am scared so much of what feels like everything.   


I felt like I was making such good progress. But it has been thrown into the trash. It might be confusing to most. Because we're from all over the world here. But my life is just scary. From severe separation anxiety to the OCD and depression. I always need to know my partner is okay.  


Because of this I have been too afraid of work but was earning income to help with this. But now almost nothing. Maybe I just belong on the street. It feels like every passing year or month; the less fortunate are the ones that are punished and the fortunate are only rewarded even more.   


I have gone back to square zero. Just anxious again. I'm demotivated and I am dependent on my partner. Barely enough income now to get by. Unless I start working but I was building to that. I was not ready yet. I am really scared.   


I don't even have enough money now to keep paying to see a therapist. But I will tell them that and my psychologist. But it feels none of that matters. I'm just a burden on society. I'm not independent. And at the rate a lot of us are treated. We never will be and that is exactly what the higher ups want.   


Fuck them all. I fucking hate life.