Hi everyone. I am 32 years old, just started a new office assistant position a month ago and I think I'm doing okay. The only issue is that I have been stalling on getting my business cards made. I introduced myself to everyone by my legal first name, a name I've never gone by, just wanted to feel out, but it doesn't feel right and I want to either go back to the nickname I've been going by for the past 5 years (Hazel) or nickname I went by between birth and five years (Suzie--also the name my family still calls me).
For one thing, I feel very sheepish and shy about getting these cards printed and introducing a new name; I'm afraid it will make me appear unstable and untrustworthy, or maybe just silly. Also--I cannot decide between my old and my new nickname! I've come to like my new name, and it has given me separation from some painful childhood memories, but I still don't feel married to it, and I still feel sheepish about it--I know that my family thinks it's silly. But I've always felt that Suzie is a bit diminutive sounding and echoes a time of societal values that I do not share (the 50s--consumerism, sexism, racism), and Hazel is sort of an old name, and I do feel like an old soul, despite still being sort of young in age. Yet I do not want to be pretentious or alienate anyone close to me. I also feel that I can adopt positive aspects of Suzie--I love Siouxsie Sioux, for example. Also, an ex-coworker who would bully me would call me Haze as an insult, so I now I wonder if people associate Hazel with someone of murky and confused thinking (to be in a haze). Someone please help.