There’s a guy at the gym that I’ve been kinda of (or maybe not at all, who knows lol) flirting with. The more we wave at each other or the more he makes little jokes, the more I like him! Like I don’t even think I was super attracted to him before we spoke. And now I cannot stop thinking about him and imagining a life with him. 

But today at the gym, he acted almost like a douche? And he does the same thing (flirt) with the girl that works there and I completely split on him and got depressed. I feel like a fucking loon and I know if I told anyone without BPD about this, they’d judge me hard. 

My deeply rooted need for love and attention is exhausting.