This is a bit complicated to explain, but here's an example: let's say i'm in love with this guy and he gets a girlfriend. My friends find out and tell me. Obviously i'll be hurt but if i go to his instagram and see their pictures together, it'd hurt me even more, right? So you think "well, just don't go to their instagram then" and that's the thing. When i start trying to avoid something that i don't wanna see, i start getting anxious about it and i have no clue why. The anxiety only goes away after i do whatever i've been avoiding. It's like my brain WANTS me to see it and get hurt so it can be at peace afterwards for some reason??
 
What prompted me to ask this is that youtube keeps recommending me this video about a topic that i know will get me angry (specially if i go to the comment section) so i'm avoiding it but now i'm anxious because of it. Part of me is like "go and see it, someday you will anyway so you can just get it over with now" but why when i can simply AVOID IT? Why won't my brain let me avoid stuff?? Does this happen with anyone else?