I essentially lost my job a week ago, due to "performance" though I suspect there is a great deal more to it than that.  Still, my contract is up in August so, there's that.  

I had some trauma as a kid so my depression is triggered by a very deep shame.  It's profound.

I have a therapist and a fiance and I have contacts who will help, but I'm chemically off balance and my body is exhausted.  Depressive episodes are like losing your virginity in a way, because each time I have one, it feels like the first time.