My one chance to feel better has been squashed. I was going to have a roommate by January but now he found a better option and I’m still stuck living with my grandmother like a fucking loser at 24. I want to die. At the very least, I want to lay in bed and give up on my life and surrender to the universe. Just totally succumb to these feelings of giving up because at least I’m listening to my feelings right? My whole body says “just give up”. So maybe I should listen. All I have to do is survive or die. That’s it. And I’m fine with both of those. Just survive at the most basic level so that means no socializing, no sex, nothing, just basic survival that requires my lowest level of energy and if I end up homeless because of it, so be it