I know the pandemic, restrictions, etc has made things worse for me, but I'm really stressing how the social anxiety, bad eye contact, perfectionist anxiety has not changed at all.

I've always struggled with work because most basic jobs are social, and despite Society claiming to be sympathetic to those with mental health issues, the reality is once you're past like 25 if you're still socially anxious and awkward you're bullied, don't get hired or get fired, etc.

Maybe I just need to get a stock job away from people, then try to physically keep up just to pay the bills for now.. Because any public customer facing job has been full of abuse and humiliation, usually ending in getting fired.

I guess I'm just worried for my financial survival, my social life which at this point can really only exist from a job. The feeling is a deep anger, both towards myself for not figuring it out by my 30s, and an anger towards a society that doesn't feel like it's changed very much since the 90s in terms of sympathy for the mentally ill. All that's changed is the marketing campaigns, the slogans, all a front but no real oversight.

Rant over