I was first told I might have BPD in 2014 by a clinical psychologist that I was going to for a few years. Back then I went through a phase when I would drink 3-4 days out of a week until I started having stomach issues. Later in 2016 I started having issues again so I went to see a psychiatrist. She said I had OCD but not BPD and gave me some medicine that I never took. (Because I got a bad vibe from her and didn’t trust her). I also later saw another clinical psychologist who refused to label me and helped a bit with my issues from childhood abuse trauma. From 2017 I have been seeing this counselor on and off for any symptoms I have.

When I was dating, I would get very jealous. i also get very emotional and angry once I felt like my SO slightly inconsiderate or inattentive. I would storm out of restaurant that sort of stuff. I also have OCD symptoms where I cannot let go of doubts and have to seek reassurance from my SO. It was very draining for us both.

Now that my SO broke up with me, despite that he doesn’t blame me and has been supportive of me in getting help etc, I feel that my emotional turmoils did take a heavy toll on the health of our relationship. I feel that I have improved over the years but not a lot. My counselor is more about talking about the problems and reflecting etc. I feel that I have not been going through any structured treatment. 

I am thinking to maybe go see another psychiatrist and get some medical help. Anyone who has similar issue and maybe would like to share your experiences? Thanks a lot.