I'm 26 and I've never been able to be a normal person. I guess that's what it feels like at least. I've always struggled with addiction and alcoholism. I've always had crippling social anxiety. I've always wrestled with depression and trauma that make it hard to get out of bed. I've been in therapy and on medication before. I think those helped. But I haven't had insurance for a few years and it's been hard. My closest friends are all moving away. The only friends I made after years of isolation. I just got out of an abusive relationship. I'm living back home and it's awful and reminds me of why I hated my younger years so much. I talk about going back to school to sound like I'm gonna do something with my life. Because that's what my friends and family need to hear. But I have no interest in anything. There's no way I could complete a class rn. If I don't I end up homeless. So I guess that's where I'm headed. Again. I hate myself and I hate that I've done absolutely nothing with my life in 26 years. Everyone says it's so easy. Just get motivated and go to therapy and pursue what makes you happy. Cool. I don't have insurance for therapy, nothing makes me happy, I'm recovering from a suicide attempt. I'm being really shitty typing this out I know that. I just feel lost. I've called the hotlines, I've asked my parents if they'd help with inpatient care, I've worked my ass off to stop drinking but it's still a daily struggle. Idfk what to do anymore I hate being this way and feeling this way.