My therapist is a little younger than me, grew up in the same circumstances as me, and is very friendly and kind towards me. *Of course* I have a crush on her.

I had a dream last night that I couldn't make it to therapy so she offered to have a session with me over the Internet. We talked on there, and she went over the strict 55 minutes she gives me in session and I felt really cared for. 

She then offered to see me in person at my house. While we talked, under the table, I started brushing up against her leg and she didn't pull away. I went for it and held her hand. My fingers moved up hers and she reciprocated. I felt so happy!

Then I woke up, still happy for a few moments, before realizing **she isn't my friend**. It's as if I could hear the words coming from her lips. She's not my friend, she's my therapist. I'm a client she talks to once per week because my insurance company pays her money to talk to me. If I stopped going every week, she'd find someone else to fill the slot so she can get her paycheck. She doesn't need me.

Since I started seeing her a few months ago, I felt like I built up a good friendship with her. I listen to her because of that friendship, because I want her approval. Now that feeling has turned to apathy and I feel like I don't care about the things she has to say anymore -- or what any therapist would say for that matter. She's never going to be my friend, I understand that now. I feel like I need a friend to guide me, someone who cares about me for me.

I'm not sure therapy is going to work for me anymore. I see her tomorrow morning, if I don't cancel in the next couple of hours. Should I tell her about this? Should I wait and see if she notices/cares that I'm distant? I already miss the *idea* of her and who she used to be to me before this morning. How do you guys be okay with your therapist not being your friend?