ok so im 18 and just graduated high school and got my very first job. it's at this adorable little British tea room and grocery. all my co-workers are sweet old British women and they love me and take very good care of me while I'm there, always reminding me to eat and drink water. i work 3-4 days a week usually 6 hour shifts (if not 6 then 4 ish) it's rarely a stressful environment and i am fully aware that it is probably the best job i will have in my entire life.

the issue is I'm having some sort of subconscious anxiety about it. in my mind it's not scary at all, but every Tuesday night (my first shift of the week is on Wednesday) i have an anxiety attack (?). constant nausea until i get to work at 10:30 the next morning, vomiting, diarrhea, gagging, shaking, headaches, and my throat feels like its closing up. i feel like I'm dying. i can't sleep the entire night, i keep waking up, it feels a lot like how i sleep when i have a fever. i also can't eat anything during these "episodes" or i will immediately vomit it back up. everything tastes way too dry to stomach or worsens my nausea. this is not a good combination as i am already severely underweight and have been having some low blood sugar issues.

this has been happening pretty much every week since i started (around a month and a half ago) but this week has been a bit worse and I'm losing hope that it will eventually go away. usually my symptoms disappear when i get to work and then I'm fine for the rest of the week (besides a bit of nausea each morning before i get there), however, this week, the nausea has been staying even after i get there and start my shift. it's been miserable. i feel like I'm gonna throw up the entire time, i get headaches, and i can barely focus on what I'm doing. as soon as i get home and even think about going to work the next day, it starts all over again. there's been no relief and its become this spiral of getting anxious of becoming anxious/nauseous, its a vicious cycle. its also worth mentioning that I'm deathly afraid of throwing up, so even the slight feeling of nausea launches me into a fit of anxiety about throwing up, so its a mix of both.

i was able to keep my nausea under control yesterday for most of the evening by sitting outside in the fresh air and distracting myself with youtube videos, but as soon as i tried to sleep it went downhill. i took some melatonin to help me sleep but i think it made it worse, i was in and out of sleep the entire night feeling like i have a fever.

the worst part is the anxiety is kind of subconscious. i know that there's nothing to be worried about and the only reason i know I'm nervous about it is because of the physical symptoms, but because in my mind I'm not actually scared, i feel like there's nothing i can do. telling myself everything is gonna be ok does nothing because i know this, but for some reason I'm still scared out of my mind to go to work.

any practical advice i can apply to relieve the nausea would be greatly appreciated, everyone seems to recommend breathing exercises to help anxiety/nausea and I've tried a few but they don't seem to be working. the best thing I've been able to find so far is getting lots of fresh air, but once it gets dark and its time to sleep that really isn't an option for me. 

I've asked my mom to take me to the doctor in hopes of getting some sort of medication but she immediately shut me down. i understand her concerns as i have done some research but i just feel really hopeless right now. my parents get very frustrated with me when I'm having an "episode" especially when i vomit because they don't understand why I'm so nervous and think that i can just stop having anxiety. i try to explain that it doesn't work that way and that i know there's no reason for me to be like this but i can't control it but they don't understand, never having had anxiety like this. I've always been a very anxious person, especially socially, but I've never experienced it to this level. its consuming my life, and now even on my days off i can't stop dreading the moment i inevitably become nauseous. 

help please