everything i’ve ever strives for was to be enough. i just wanted love. i changed my style, my likes, my song preferences just to feel enough and loved by someone. i changed my views or would turn a blind eye. everything i’ve ever wanted was to feel the love of someone so imensly how i loved them. the love of a mother. a father. a friend. a boyfriend. a soulmate. my father won’t get out of his grave. i will never get that love. i will never choose the correct choice for my mother. i will never be enough for my parents. i will never make them happy. i will never get the love of a friend who loves me immensely. i will never be in love like in the movies where the boy loves the girl. where they go on picnics. where they laugh in their cozy home. where they raise kids and die together. i am just a 90 pound girl who can’t even eat when she’s sad. 

-i feel like this sounds self deprecating but i don’t want to bother any of my friends