*I am posting on my girlfriend's behalf as she is afraid of her reaction to the comments, any questions will passed along to her, this account was written by her*

TLDR: big booboo brain. Always been anxious but it’s been out of control to an exponential degree lately. I feel something more is wrong but don’t know what.

It started with what I thought was a panic attack back in August. My heart rate went up like crazy and I thought I was dying but there was no trigger. I was pretty calm and it came out of nowhere. Then I was what I would describe as “foggy” for a couple days as I came back to myself. Another month passed without incident when I started getting very nervous driving.

I would be driving and I would suddenly become aware of something my body was doing like a random arm pain or head pulse and I would feel a wild amount of sudden anxiety. I tried breathing techniques but I usually just have to wait for it to go away. It made me not want to drive anymore. 

These used to be really frequent before and during my period. (I got off my birth control back in February). But since early December these “episodes” of panic have been getting more frequent and more distressing.

I had a panic attack one night about the potential of me going insane because I felt random intrusive thoughts. It felt really dark and I was fixated on it and stayed awake for way too long. I felt okay in the morning but very on edge. I talked to my boyfriend about it on the phone and he said something to the extent of “as long as you don’t stand over me with a knife, I think you’re okay.”

That night I had more panic intrusive thoughts about what if I go insane and stab someone. This obviously made me feel very scared and panicked. I cried through the night and my heart rate soared. Next day I was really anxious and continued to be for a few weeks. Constant bad thoughts and just a very heavy, anxious feeling constantly with me. I cry multiple times a day and this point and have very little control over it. I get this extremely “foggy” feeling randomly. I have frequent stress dreams and remember all of my dreams a lot more vividly now. 

Eventually I saw a doctor who recommended I talk to a psychiatrist. I did but was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety in and she wanted to start me on medications after one visit. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD and depression before but I have never felt anything like I have been the past two months. I am trying to do solutions other than medication first. 

I’ve been meditating, exercising, eating better, and taking vitamins but I haven’t noticed a huge improvement in my mind. I stopped smoking and drinking too.

I’ve seen an acupuncturist who helped me get my constant bad thoughts better under control and my anxiety is lower than it previously was. I’ve been seeing him regularly but my anxiety is coming back and I feel so scared anticipating how I was feeling a few weeks ago. I get random pains and pulses all over my head and in my neck. They usually go away quickly but my neck has been getting tighter recently (I have a slipped disk at the top of my neck) I still randomly feel foggy frequently as well as just emotionally off. The other day I randomly felt irritated out of the blue for no reason. 

I don’t feel like myself anymore. I’m scared to be awake and I’m scared I’m descending into something I can’t return from. 

I feel like something could be wrong with my hormones? My period is usually pretty regular but the past month I’ve had 3 full periods. 

I would just appreciate if anyone had insight, advice, or any similar experience. I feel very alone and knowing someone else has been through something similar would mean the world to me. Thank you for reading until the end!