Sorry if this appears to be a rant.  I’ve had somewhat of an enlightening weekend.  I’ve always known my MIL has some anxiety &amp; led an extremely sheltered life.  I’m totally open about my anxiety but for 50+ years have lived my life including career, alcoholism.

Fast forward to yesterday, she admitted at 74 years old she has never:
•Gone shopping alone 
•Slept in her Mom’s bed until at least 18 (or until she moved out for marriage).
•After her husband died 3 years ago, she immediately moved in with wife &amp; I.  Some early issues but she always treated it like she was a guest.

So much has changed.  She is now belligerent.  She owns conversations, the living room tv (no biggie to me), doesn’t cook, clean, only seems to leave her room 4 hours a day to make her presence known.

Fast forward to today.  I must have hit a nerve with inquiring conversation yesterday.  She &amp; my wife had some conflict earlier in the day about our grandchild’s behavior.  Wife (who has educational background in behavioral disorder and 30+ years of teaching) disagreed over a rant the 5year old granddaughter had.  Led to further discussion.  I stayed out of it the WHOLE time.  Just awhile ago I commented on g-daughter’s continuing behavior and Gma says we both were so rough with her.  I said how hard could it be to judge from the chair you sit in so much of the day.  She kept going on ignoring my insult.

I finally shut myself in the bedroom.  I know the next thing I would say to her would probably be the last of my marriage to my wife.  I guess I should be careful but have never been around someone so opinionated yet never taken risks in life.

Any advice on how to deal with family members who live a lie and seem to mock the struggles someone else with anxiety has?