My current bf and I have been together for 2 years and he is truly the best person I have been with. He is so understanding, supports me and is the reason I was diagnosed. Our relationship isn't perfect but he is so loving and wants to get married etc.

My very first relationship ended 5 years ago but it was at a time that my symptoms were out of control, so even though my ex was great, our relationship was extremely turbulent. Things seemed to end well between us but he ended up saying terrible things to me and about me. He blamed everything on me and said he regrets ever meeting me. He said I liked my trauma and sexually manipulated him (despite him initiating sex more). He thinks that I'm crazy, not good enough for him, trapped him in a relationship (even though I ended our relationship various times) and during a public speech said he never loved his ex (me) which hurts because he used to tell me everyday how great I was and how he loved me. His words destroyed me and I haven't been the same since.

I came across his new gf's Instagram and she seems perfect. Sweet. Intelligent. Social. Mature. Rich. Just an overall perfect girl everyone loves. She talks about him at length and posts the sweet things he does, things he used to do for me too. Write love notes about how great she is, how much he loves her etc. He's so thoughtful towards her and does what he did for me.

I loveeeee my bf but seeing all of this has made me not only jealous but extremely low and like I mean nothing. He's not who or what I want, my bf is everything I didn't know I wanted and needed. I'm so confused.