Diagnosed TODAY. This feels like a death sentence and the worst possible thing that could happen to me besides being killed by someone. I am a new mental health worker trying to launch a career in helping others with their problems, but I've just discovered how truly broken I am and feel I am a monster who could not possibly ever help anyone but instead will only cause harm because of my unhealed wounds. I feel like I need to quit school and pursuing my career as a therapist and go to an inpatient program until I stabilize (IF I am even able to regain stability). I don't want to interact with another human again for fear of hurting someone or making them reject me. I try to distract myself with work, but my practice sees borderline clients all the time...and I feel like a fraud because I AM ONE, how could I possibly treat one?!

I know the inventor of DBT herself was BPD and managed to fully "treat herself," but I think that that is not possible for me nor feasible, nor something I could ever achieve in a shortened amount of time. I need the changes and relief of recovery, NOW, not in a couple of years. And I realize this is a chronic DISEASE that never truly goes all the way away. WHY EVEN BOTHER LOLOL GOD SAVE ME