My country’s in lockdown so I cant talk to my psychiatrist or psychologist about this but I really need an opinion on this. (when i was first diagnosed i didn’t believe it and only recently started going back to learn more after my denial worn of, so i wasn’t fully taught everything about BPD) Also im a baby bpd 

First time i can remember this happening was when I was sitting down talking to my mum and suddenly i forgot who she was and she didn’t feel real, hours of me going crazy screaming and crying, I was fine. This happens heaps now. Im with either my mum or dad and suddenly feel so disconnected and they don’t seem real but now i don’t react i just sit there. This happens way to often for my liking. is this de-realisation or dissociation?

Sometimes i also just have huge realisations about my existence and how I’m a living breathing animal in this so called earth and that I will die so on. Its the same type of feeling of disconnecting. Is this part of this too?

PLEASE HELPPP google is useless