Hi all :) 

Today I received my official BPD diagnosis (or EUPD as confirmed in the letter) in the mail. 

I was diagnosed with EDD when I was 13, so I’ve struggled with BPD / disorders that are very similar in nature for 7 years now. 

But it just feels very surreal to have this diagnosis, in writing, in front of me. On paper. It makes it hit home and it feels like it’s such an ingrained part of my identity. It sucks. 

On the one hand, it feels good to know I have documentation, and proof, that I have this illness (and, as shitty as this may be, relieving to show my family that I do genuinely struggle, and I wasn’t just a “difficult”, “attention seeking” child). 

On the other, I just can’t shake the feeling that I really am unwell, and that I’m a burden to all those around me. It feels so crappy. Dealing with this disorder is so tiring and all-consuming and I really wish with all of my heart I didn’t have it :( 

Just needed to write this down. Hope you are all good today! 