I always always always have to distract myself from my own mind. I always have to be watching youtube or scrolling IG or doing ANYTHING to occupy my mind.

I’m constantly listening to music. Literally 24/7. In the shower. in the car. While I eat. all the time. I always have earbuds in it drives my family INSANE. 

I can’t stand the silence because then the thoughts come. I just want my brain to shut up and stop reminding me how horrible I am. 

If I don’t have something to do, something to occupy myself, I’ll scramble to find something to do. I just can’t sit and be at peace. My brain will always find a way to ruin it.