my first noticeable symptom when I started to suspect I had bpd around 5 or 6 years ago was that I am completely incapable of breaking up with someone, and even if I do “break up” with them absolutely nothing about the relationship actually changes, I am still incapable of breaking off contact. It has continued to be the bane of my life and I’m now 18 and nothing has changed, all of my pervious relationships have only ended due to them breaking off all contact with me and forcing me to deal with it and move on. I am now in a situation where it has been 9 months since I “broke up” with my abusive ex boyfriend (I felt really good about this as I’ve never attempted to end a relationship) and we still see each other ever day and behave like we are in a relationship. I have tried desperately to cut him off more times than I can count but it’s simply impossible, I have begged him to block me on everything and cut me off for my own good, but he claims he has the same problem and won’t do that for me (but I believe this is just a way of keeping me in the loop and making me believe he has no control over anything either). He is incredibly manipulative and toxic and I need to break all contact with him before my mental health is completely destroyed.

I’m positive nobody will have all the answers for me, but I’d like to know if anybody else has or is experiencing the same problem and if they have ever found a way to break the cycle