I'm in 10th grade I have a math exam in 31 and a half hours and I have barely studied and if I don't do well on this test next year I can't do maths which ive always loved. But I have no motivation anymore l, I don't want to do anything anymore. For the past few months I've started caring less about eating, sleeping, hygiëne basically anything that makes someone a decent human being. I would've probably attempted to kill myself if it wasn't for the fact that I have lots of anxiety and that a friend of my 2 best friends killed herself and i was there when they heard the news and the following 2h30 and the nexts days. It broke my heart to see them this hurt and I don't want them to feel that way because of me. I wish I just had´t been born no one would miss me bcs you vant miss someone you dont know existed. I just don't want to do life anymore 
I feel like I shouldn't even be complaining I'm young mostly healthy except some minor issues, I have a loving family and friends who deeply care about me, I live in a pretty nice country and have gotten so much but I still feel miserabele. 
I can't tell my parents it would break their hearts, so instead I'm venting to random strangers on the internet