So I have depression and severe anxiety, and recently my self-esteem has been at an all time low. I feel so ugly that sometimes the thought of going outside and being seen by others is genuinely intimidating and it’s easier to just stay at home and isolate myself. Whenever I am out in public, I wear a mask as often as possible so I can hide my face, and it takes me so long to decide what I want to wear because I don’t want to show my body at all. 
It has gotten so bad recently that I’ve actually started to feel bad for other people for having to look at me? Which I’m aware sounds so ridiculous and crazy, but I genuinely feel like I’m so ugly I’m a burden on the people around me and I feel bad that they have be around me and see me. 
I have never been in a serious relationship and have rarely had anyone express any interest in me, which seems to confirm my fears that I’m too hideous to be seen. When I am interested in someone, I get very depressed because I assume they could never be interested in me and I never tell them in fear of making them feel uncomfortable (to have someone to ugly be interested in them - again, I feel I would be a burden). 
I realise all of this sounds like I’m being dramatic or crazy, and I know rationally none of this is true or reasonable, but it is genuinely how I feel about myself. I also realise that external beauty isn’t important and it’s what inside that counts and whatever but I just want to feel pretty once in my life, and it is making me so depressed and isolated and just exhausted. 
What the hell do I do? How can I break out of this mentality?