Hey... overall my life is improving, of course my mental health never cares and I just want to express something I haven’t yet

I’m 18 years old, moved to my dream city and am attending a top university to get my dream job, but I have serious socialized anxiety, 

Ironically it’s not in the usual form, I can stand up and talk to thousands of people no problem, but I can’t stand one on one conversations,

This is obviously a problem with girls.

I’m 18 and have never had any form of intamacy in my life, I’ve yet to have my first kiss, first hug, first real date, let alone anything sexual,

I’m a very loving person and I feel lonely a lot, all by myself in the city, 4000 KMs from the friends and family I’ve known all my life, but I’m not really attractive, and I’m pretty strange, I just feel like I’ll never have the connection I want.

I dream of taking care of a family, of raising children and having a loving wife, but when most kids have their first kiss at like 14, here I am, lonely as ever.