It was a summer job I had when I was in high school. I've never had good social skills and I've always had social anxiety. I knew I could be awkward and pretty much anyone could do my work. My manager always made me feel small and belittled, but I though that if I could just bear it and keep on keeping on it would help push through my social anxiety and maybe we would get along. Well never in my life has my social anxiety or social skills ever gotten all that better, but I did try. Towards the end of the season, we were both in the office, and I don't really understand what I did to warrant this, since I was not saying much of anything to him, but he said to me "You know, when you leave you aren't going to be missed."

Yeah...you know, I did understand at the time that I was not capable of providing any social value to my coworkers, but that doesn't mean I didn't try. It's not my fault I don't have any social skills and my socially awkward attempts to get better result in ostracization for being "weird" however it's defined. To be honest I did think I had made a lot of progress over the season. In that moment, my inadequacy was revealed to me once more. I am not capable of being a person that could be missed, to have that kind of positive impact on someone's life. I am nothing. I would be a burden on any employer that would choose to take me on at this point. I will always be a burden, even when I try not to be.