Whenever I feel insecure or threatened, I will immediately reach for my headphones to put on music, and will start vividly imagining a scenario in which I am powerful, successful and admired by all. It gets so intense that I start pacing up and down my room, completely unaware of my surroundings. 

It especially happens in the context of my relationship. For example, when I see that someone followed my boyfriend on Instagram, I’ll immediately need to stop everything and start daydreaming of me in situations where I am better than her - maybe I finally have my ‘dream’ body, or I am accomplishing my goals and can ‘show her up.’ 

I know it’s incredibly toxic, but in those moments when I am daydreaming, the pain is alleviated. 

Anyone else?