I already know for a fact I have had depression for while. I do not currently have a therapist and the last two I had to leave. lately I do not specifically feel sad nor’ do I feel happy. I feel nothing. Before I would feel sad and my heart would hurt all the time from the emotional pain. But now I feel nothing. Why? Have I just become so used to it that now I’ve hidden it? That is what I did with my social anxiety. It used to be very bad  and I would sweat and shake…but now instead I just sit there like an empty person even though my mind is racing… my body does not show anything. Could this also be happening with my depression? 
Everyday I think of a way to kms and I am addicted to c/tting as that’s the only thing that brings me to reality. The past few weeks it has been getting even harder to keep up with time and it feels like it’s all blended together. It never feels night or day. It is also harder for me to think or focus. I feel like I’m going crazy. Is something bad happening to me?