Is this natural? I feel god awful for this, but I do something its a hobby and in this particular hobby I can never perform but I have a friend who does perform. And instead of being happy for him I'm jelous and often times wish he never even did good. I don't want to be like this, why cant I succeed so I don't have to experience this. I get really anxious over this and sometimes would avoid talking to him because I feel so bad.