So, I've been alone in my thoughts before, it's not always nice but .. it's there. However, I looked back at an old diary and I found an entry that still emotionally sits with me to this day. The idea was not really of dying but escaping to somewhere where I believe I would be happier and have better experiences. I used to be religious for context but I used to pray to maybe die and reincarnate in a world that's like one of my favorite shows at the time. The idea that being in a world of death but true and honest people was better than my current reality.   
I found myself laying in bed for hours just... daydreaming? making up scenarios and getting lost in them but I'm still awake. It kinda affected my daily functions at this point and I'm not really sure what to do at this point. It's like I know this isn't really the best option to cope but there really isn't much else. I get stressed or upset and my brain just kinda ... takes over putting a blindfold over my eyes.  
I'm sorry if this isn't really for r/depression, I am just kinda curious if anyone else experiences this because I'm not even too sure if it counts as me wanting to die.