I can't do it anymore. I am so miserable all the time and I just want to not be. I keep getting a bit better then I would have bad days and it feels like I am going nowhere. 

I have nothing, no dreams, no desires. I am so lonely despite having so many people around me. I hate myself. 

I have some money saved and dream of buying a ticket to somewhere nice and jumping off a bridge. I won't do it, but it sounds so nice.

If a car is to accidentally hit me, I would not be sad