I have been a long time lurker but I need to say this I'm 14 m and I hate myself today I was gonna kill myself but I'm to much of a fucking cop put pussy to even do that I hate my appearance how I treat others how I fix all of my problems by cutting and drinking I hate how I think of killing my self daily I hate how I am a pussy i just want to suffer I have to look in the mirror and see a disgrace looking back at me everyday, everyday I pretend fine I hide everything but I truly want my pathetic existence to end I don't deserve my friends or family today I went to counseling and made a goal not to kill myself today but it's getting really hard not to do that. My parents took my razor  lade away so I can't even cut and they took out all drinks I cut myself because I deserve to suffer and feel pain and I drink to forget of what I stupid fucking loser I am all i want is for my pathetic life to end. Tomorrow ima have to wake up and look in the mirror again at this point I don't know how many times I can do that I really don't know if I can go another day but I also hate myself for even think about hurting my friends and family like that with killing my self I am just a waste I hope this was not to long to read but this is the first time I ever said this