I don't know what to do anymore. Every day there is a new pain that I experience, a new symptom I've never been able to see before, a new fear that keeps me awake at night and away from everybody. And still nothing seems to matter. Noting makes sense anymore. I want to push people away from me. I want to be alone. But on the other hand I know I'm not capable of fighting alone.

I'm exhausted. My body is on autopilot and tryes to function "normally". I'm freezing even though we have 38°C. My joints hurt and it feels like my skin is burning. I can't take a step without being in horrible pain. And there is no way I can just stay at home and not move.

It feels like some kind of weight is chained around my ankles and is pulling me back, back where I do not want to be again.

I need some advice on how to keep going.
It literally tears me apart