I just want to really restart my life. Like from the start. 
I have been thinking of committing suicide for a while now but it's today that i felt it so strongly. Like Im just lying on my bed and just suddenly thought that its really The time to die. And dang i still have an exam later today and i havent studied anything. I just feel so unmotivated and useless in everything i do. Dont even know how to express myself proeprly now hah