I’m 17M. I lost my mother when I was 2 years old to cancer unfortunately. I don’t deal well with stress at all. I sat my first proper exams 2 months ago, and it was terrible for me. I completely lost my appetite and had a breakdown every other day. I struggle expressing my feelings with others (especially friends). I only really go to my older sister if I have problems, because i feel like she’s closest thing to a mother figure I’ve ever had. I always worry about what the future holds for me. I am currently stressing about my exam results, which are still a month away. I convinced myself I wanted to kill myself during my mock exams, but I am too scared of actually committing the act killing myself. Go through periods of happiness to then getting hit by a truck of feeling overwhelmed. I feel like I am being judged by other people when i’ve decided to buy myself something sweet like chocolate. I feel like my mother passing really messed me up emotionally. I have also had 3 other family members pass away during my childhood.