I'm new here and English isn't my mother tongue, so sorry in advance if what I am saying doesn't make any sense. I've been writing, erasing and re-writing again this post for a while cause at some point I just lose focus of what I'm saying. The thing is, since I was 16 (and I'm 23 now) I've had this increasing fear of growing up, and, because of that, I've been trying to hold on to my chilhood. That's why (I think) I've been living a pretty dull life since now. I love my family and my house, where I've been living since I was born (except in college, when I had to live in the city and I had a pretty rough time, mentally speaking), so finding a job, moving out, meeting new people and all of that really terrifies me, because I think I'd be losing myself whithin those changes. 

At the same time, I also feel like I've wasted my teenage years (cause I don't like to drink, or go out or meet new people) and that I've self-neglected (I don't know if that verb makes any sense here) so many experiences that I could have had, but I didn't and it's too late now. 

So, yeah, I have a few more things that I would like to say, but the more I write the more I think this is a waste of time. But, well, I needed to take all these thoughts out of my head, so that's that.