I would've usually collected it and put it outside but tonight I couldn't be arsed to do that, so I squashed it. Immediately afterwards my thoughts were 'wtf, why did an innocent spider deserve to lose its life over your laziness and selfishness?' and 'that was probably incredibly painful for it, you know. Before it died it would've felt so much pain and YOU caused that. To an INNOCENT life'.

I can't make up for this. What's done is done. This is much like the rest of my life, my decisions and my thoughts and feelings afterwards.