i recently (march 17th of this year) was diagnosed as bipolar. i've had my doubts from the beginning but it wasn't until i saw a tiktok of someone very clearly faking mania - the comment section i mean - that i realized "okay i need to be reevaluated."

i know rapid cycle moods are a thing, but i have the stereotypical "ten second mood swings" that are depicted in media, and no one believes me. no one. my psychiatrist will not listen to me. my mood swings last minutes to hours and rarely last more than a day but they are *intense* as in i've broken my hand out of anger, spent $600 impulsively, and made dinner with my mom joyfully (in that order) within one day. and it's an everyday thing, i rarely go with less than three major mood swings in a day.

i'm not sure what i am, but i'm fairly certain it's not bipolar.

i don't know what to do, no one will listen to me and i'm at my wit's end. everything feels hopeless and i've switched meds three times now because none of them are working/they're making it worse. i'm to the point where i'm thinking of admitting myself to inpatient just to get another opinion, something i wanted to avoid at all costs.