im a student. its in the middle of our last week of finals right now. im so stressed out. i know i always mess up my grades so this year i was so determined ive kept my grades up all year which is good. but now theres the added pressure of doing well on the final exam (worth so much of our total grade) and lock in those grades. im so stressed. it takes so much energy to convince myself to leave the house to buy food. so much anxiety. and general paranoia people are following me to hurt me. im just so stressed theres so much to do. and i dont have that many friends but my idealized person is my best friend. who hasnt been answering texts for 3 days hes either really busy studying or tired of being my friend which is probably the reason. so i dont wanna text him again to not bother him. but he is the only person i can talk to. as my idealized person i only feel safe talking to him if that makes sense. i know im such a bad friend so i dont wanna bother. but just my thoughts are so intense and my feelings and im always at the brink of honestly contemplating killing myself at any little thing that goes wrong.