My boyfriends a paramedic and at first it seemed great but as time goes on it just seems worse and worse of an idea. Specifically probably one of (yeah there’s quite a few) the biggest problems that comes from being with someone in that job is the shift patterns, he’s regularly completely gone for 14+ hours 5/6 days in a row, then when actually here just completely emotionally void and half asleep and basically not here anyway. It just sucks. We had a week together recently that he had entirely off and I was SO HAPPY and connected and stable and it’s just not fair. I’m not saying he can never work. I’m not stupid. I’m just starting to think honestly maybe if I was with someone who just had a simple 9 to 5 and I actually got to see them my BPD would be so much easier to handle, also wouldn’t have to deal with someone who is constantly disappearing when you need them to help others instead and spends their entire life making memories with and bonding with their crewmate instead of you. It’s like I’ve set myself up on super hard mode for this relationship and I don’t want it anymore I want easy 