This is a HUGE step for me, guys! I feel like I have to tell someone, and I know you all will understand why it's such a big deal.

So frustration and disappointment are my two worst emotions. They creep up on me pretty suddenly, and on *really* bad days this leads to me losing my temper. I only lose it maybe 3 or 4 times a year, and I'm always very scary when I do.

Today my boyfriend and I were talking and I got really frustrated because things weren't going like I wanted them to. This led to me getting very angry. After a while he told me he loved me but he was turning off his phone so he didn't have to deal with me right then.

Normally, this would cause me to be absolutely LIVID. Old me would call and text non stop for hours and just be a terrible, hurtful person. I would also frequently hurt myself or put myself in dangerous situations.

Today, however, I only sent 3 texts out of anger. And (I hope) they weren't even that mean. Within about five minutes I was cooled off and level headed again. It was so strange. It was like my logical side stood up for once and said "Hey, you love him and don't want to lose him, so knock this shit off." And it worked.

I am just so excited and proud of myself. I know to him I'll probably still seem like a jerk, but for me this was a huge accomplishment. It feels so good to start spiraling down and be able to stop it. It's empowering. Most surprisingly, it's possible. I never thought I would be able to do this.


***edit: thank you guys for being amazing and supportive!! &lt;3