I suffered through neglect and abuse from my parents. I am only just now 18 and for the first time in my life have the freedom to seek medical help. Not only have my parents left me with bpd amongst other mental illnesses, they have left me with so many physical ones. My teeth are rotting out of my mouth, my gums are so swollen and it’s so painful, I have an extra tooth and on both sides of my mouth my teeth are being pushed into the center. I have not seen a dentist since i was 9 years old. I have gastritis, acid reflux, and stomach ulcers because I never had food in my house, resulting in never having a regular schedule with food. Now I can’t keep food down and if I do I am sick to my stomach. Everyday I feel so dirty and greasy. Every time I shower and I sit there for 40 minutes and wash my body over and over I never feel clean. I always feel like I have bugs crawling on me, and like my skin is disgusting. I am trying to not only find mental health support but trying to find help for my physical issues. I cant afford all the copays and medications, my insurance barely covers my visits. I’m young and i’m scared and on my own and trying to fix the mess they left me with. Why? Why did they do this to me? I feel so disgusting and worthless and every fucking day living in my own skin is SO UNCOMFORTABLE. Touching my own skin makes me sick. I cant afford nice soap or self care products, never have and never will. I am so disgusted having to live in this body that is physically and mentally in constant pain, one thing after the other.. there’s so many things to fix and i don’t know how to. Someone please help me, I need guidance or even just someone to tell me they hear me. Please.