I don’t know how to deal with these intense feelings I’m having. There was this girl that I was off and on with for the past 6 or 7 years, kind of an off and on thing. I’ve let her know the darkest parts of me and essentially walked around with my wounds out in the open. In the past year, we’ve both graduated high school and I feel as though I am stuck. She is happy at her school and I am miserable at mine. The only time I feel happy is when I’m reliving memories from high school or talking to her. I know that it’s a toxic situation because I mess up a lot and it’s draining for her but I want her to just understand me for once. I have based my entire being and happiness depending on how she treats me and I constantly feel like I am ignored or not taken seriously when it comes to my concerns. She actively ignores me but posts on social media, and she even went as far as blocking me so I cannot view her posts. I don’t know what to do. She blamed me for her not doing good in school as well, and she always claims I am arguing when really I am trying to express my emotions. Every time I express them, I’m labeled as wrong or paranoid. I get that that comes with BPD but I feel so alone. I don’t know why this keeps happening with every friendship or relationship I have. It’s starting to become too much for me and I’m not sure if I can take this much longer.