idk if this is bpd related or not but i need somewhere to put my feelings so here we go.

i am so sick of being an outcast, even though ironically its something i take pride in. im proud of myself for being unique and standing out from the crowd, but at the same time its an incredibly lonely experience. it hurts, having friends but not really belonging with them. i'm not a part of any groups, and i'm constantly different from my social circles. i can't relate to most people and they can't relate to me.

all i want is to belong, but what if that means not being unique? how can i do both? everything hurts all the time. i'm so tired of being alone. i want so badly not to be alone anymore.