last night i was at the lowest i’ve been in a really long time, i lost my FP and i was very close to ending my life because of it. i made a plan, wrote a suicide letter, started to get everything ready and then decided to go to bed and do it the day after because i was so exhausted i couldn’t even walk. this morning i woke up and i haven’t felt this good in a long ass time. went for a walk, listening to some nice music, and now im sitting on a bench and i just realised: whenever you reach the lowest point, the highest point is right around the corner. its stupid that it took me so many years to realise this, but its genuinely giving me so much hope. i’ve felt so hopeless because therapy and medication haven’t really been working, but i feel like i can do this. i might feel differently in a few hours (lol!) but if i do, i hope i’ll come back to this post and remind myself of this exact feeling of…power. a narcissist is no longer dictating my mood, no longer gonna make me cry, no longer gonna emotionally abuse me, no longer gonna make me want to end my life after every argument. I CALLED OUT A NARCISSIST AND WAS STRONG ENOUGH TO NOT GO CRAWLING BACK !!! I DID IT!!