We all know that life has its ups and downs, ebbs and flows.

Everybody experiences some form of tragedy in their lives and has to go through a grieving process for a period of time, or has to re-build their life after life has ruined their plans in some way.

The issue I am having is that I have spent the better part of a decade in debilitating depression. I feel I have met my quota of suffering all in one segment of my life.

Most people experience a setback that may last a year, then they have a few years of life going smoothly, then perhaps another unexpected event that causes another few months of sadness or grief, and then they have another few years where things are okay.

But for me...it has been ten years of consistent emotional turmoil. The turmoil has *not* been spread out in-between high periods of my life...it has been *continuous*. And it has seriously left a toll on my overall well-being. I feel that I need ten years of healing with life running smoothly to balance out the last ten years of perpetual misery.

Instead of having a few years to recover from something bad happening...there has been no time to truly heal and re-gain my footing.

I am worried that if I get out of this never-ending slump and re-gain my footing, that something bad will happen again (like losing a job) that will cause me to have to go through another grieving process.

I just do not think I can handle it. I have experienced a lifetime's worth of suffering in ten years...can I please have a universal pass for the rest of my life? Or at least the next ten years?