 Okayyy 

So basically I’m currently in therapy and just started - and my partner and I - I caused a huge argument out of the blue because I wanted attention… yeah I know it’s bad :( and so with therapy last week we discussed my attachment issues and my behavior- how I feel in the midst of an outburst. From then on, we’re supposed to work on my behavior, however she canceled my appointment for today and suddenly I feel like my life is falling apart lol

My partner and I - we talked about what went wrong and I promised them I’ll keep up with therapy because I really am desperate to get better at this point. They are struggling with their own problems and I’ve been reassuring as possible that I’m here for them. 

Yesterday - I got into a car accident from work, and had a mental breakdown - I left out the accident part when I expressed to my partner I was feeling down because I didn’t want to stress them out. Today felt weird- I think because of the accident yesterday because I was crying all morning today and yeah- and I felt like my partner was being weird (we text a lot Cus they live 30 minutes away and they expressed how important texting is for them) I asked them if we were okay even though we already talked about it earlier in the week. They are currently struggling with anxiety and depression so I understand why they have been distant lately but I still felt like I needed reassurance. They left me on read, and so I left a message saying that I kinda felt ignored (I shouldn't have said that) and they said sorry, they were busy with their friend. At the moment, I got jealous and overwhelmed by the feeling of feeling emptiness and lonliness, however, I managed to control myself and asked if they could give me reassurance whenever they weren't busy (because they didn't answer the question initially). 

a few hours later they said they felt like they said they had been feeling like they can't support me and that we have been fighting a lot recently :( I sent a message saying sorry and that I'm working on it etc but they haven't responded. Its been hours.

sorry if this is all over the place. 

I feel like I can't live without them