It’s just so intense and words can never capture it right. I don’t wanna be all “it’s so much worse than the sadness _you_ feel” but sometimes I just want to explain to my therapist or my parents about how I feel and I can’t. Not perfectly. It kind of feels like trying to describe the colour red to someone who can’t see it. 

Again it feels so douchey to act like I have it worse than other people. But that isn’t really the point. It just feels so much different than what words are describing. 

I don’t feel angry. I feel _rageful_ and _raw_. I don’t feel guilt, I feel _disgusting_ and _inhuman_. It’s still not enough to describe it right.