Before I start, I don’t need any support or any negitive comments. I just truly need someone to listen here. 

So, over the last 7 months, I lost the only girl who understood me and the only girl I’ve truly loved (she ended things), I didn’t realize how much she meant to me. I think about her everyday and I’m a shell of myself. 

I don’t feel like people take me serious or care about me. They only care at bars/parties because I’m the life of the party, but I’m only the life because I’m drinking my depression away. I don’t drink every night, not even every weekend — to just prevent having a drinking problem. 

At work, I feel like I’m not taken serious. I sometimes feel like I’m not liked. At my performance review, I was reassured that  my bosses love me, but they gave me some constructive feedback to be less of a jokester during our weekly meeting. Bascially, the meeting is to just catch up with everyone. It’s not super business related. I really like to talk to people there (it’s online, i work from home) because I’m so lonely but don’t want to reach out to anyone.

I have people to turn to but I don’t know who I can trust.  I don’t want to open up to my guy friends. 

I’m weaker than I’ve ever been. If I didn’t have a dog who depends on me, I’d likely just run away from my current life, or end it. He’s keeping me here. 

I just want to feel normal again. I miss the love of my life. She completed me. Now, she’s done forever. I tried to fix things last month but she said we were done forever. Those 40 minutes on the phone with her, even though she didn’t take me back we’re the happiest moments. I miss her voice, I miss her company, I miss our nightly phone calls. I’m just dead inside.