It’s been a while since I have spoken to my mother over the phone. I’ve gradually been distancing myself after gaining awareness of various triggers from therapy. 

The conversation was brief and related to something that needs to be mailed to me. Even so, just the tone of my mother’s voice was enough to leave me unsettled afterwards. I think partly because her tone was so different to the last time we spoke. 

This is something I’m learning has been a source of anxiety since childhood; my mother’s inconsistency with me. I’ve read many research papers that include this as contributing factor to Bpd/ emotional dysregulation. 

I’m in my 30’s and often feel as though I should have come to terms with this by now. I don’t have a secure, warm mother to turn to. 

How many of you feel unsettled after speaking to a parent? I often feel as my most negative core beliefs are magnified after interacting with my mother too