Hey, so I'm 18 y/o. I don't have many friends or anyone I can talk to or just or spend time with. I use to be very sad about that fact, like why can't I have all those things like long nights with friends or first kiss or amazing fun moments with family.

I have this bad luck with people and no one tends to stick around more than a year. at least that's what I thought for a long time. I started overthinking every little thing and started getting anxious like what if I lose that person too.  It kept getting harder and harder to cope up with anxiety. Anxiety not just about losing people but about not having achieved anything real of being a looser and blah blah blah you know.

But then I started looking it the other way around. I am not the reason that people are not sticking around with me, fuck them who needs people anyway. And there's nothing wrong with not having achieved anything, why does that have to be wrong? I'm good enough but I'll not stop looking and finding and pursuing that moment when I WILL ACHIEVE something. 

Loneliness was a big factor in my life too but it's okay to be lonely sometimes. I am grateful for those 2 friends that show up sometimes that sometimes make me laugh. And for other times when I feel more lonely than ever, I have my books I could read and get into that character's mind and make new friends there :)) 

I am not saying that I have mastered these and stopped being miserable. There are still nights that are harder than others, times when I don't know what to do, times when I feel so lonely that my chest aches. But it's okay to have those days. now instead of avoiding those days, I go through it. Instead of avoiding all the thoughts, I try to face all of them.

All I'm saying is that instead of being miserable I am trying my best 'cos why not? what's there to lose anyway?

I know it can be a lot harder for some people but why not try to take that one step and see where it goes?

Thank you.

Let me know if I helped you in any way. I'd really appreciate it.