I'm in an abusive relationship, it's very obvious in my posts here an other subreddits. I've had many people tell me to leave. I've seen the signs. I know I'm not loved. 

But how do you leave? How do you replan your future out without them there? How do you live with the loneliness and find hope again? What should I say? Should I just block him and disappear forever? Am I making the right choice even? I've never been with anyone for so long, I've never imagined my future with someone but him. How do you deal with a crushed future? 

I was on the waiting list to see a psychiratrist, but I feel like I've been sabotaged. 

I feel like no matter what I do, I'll never be happy.