Every part of my life sucks expect for one, playing a sport. I am a swimmer for my school team and for the first time in a very long time I felt happy and I had a reason to live. i’ve had depression for like 2 years now and it’s gotten much worse. I used to just feel blue now i’m flat out after every mistake saying “i should just die”. I haven’t told anybody in my family i have depression. This sport was making me feel so good but obviously things go wrong because they always do. My family for the only time in this entire pandemic is going through a covid phase (we literally have never gotten it) My brother, dad, grandparents have or had it. i’ve now been out of school for 20 days and have regressed back into my depressive state. Leaving me alone with my thoughts is the worst possible thing you can do and I’ve been doing that now for 3 weeks. swimming is a long lost dream now. something wants me gone and it might win😔