So I’m 25, make, live in a night life suburban area. Everyone always looks great, drinks, party’s. Then there’s me. I sit at home, smoke weed and play video games. I recently was apart of a friend group forming. We love each other and everyone’s happy. But I constantly flake on plans. I waste my money. I’m broke. And still live at home. I just real like I need a jump in my life to get my engines back on. I thought of skydiving, bungee jumping, going 200 on the highway. But I never do it. I never said this out loud, so I share it here….but at least once a month, if not more I pretend like I’m shooting myself. In the mouth. When I’m by myself. Now in my mind I truly think nah fuck that you’d never do it. Nor do you really need to. There are ppl with much worse life’s. But still I notice I do it. Idk I just am sitting here in bed at 530am, not being able to sleep. First thing I ever posted on here. Fucking strange.