I was diagnosed with BPD earlier this year. Before that, I was diagnosed with MDD which in itself was pretty debilitating but I knew something was up because I kept being called "clingy" or "insecure" by my then-friends who I would go OUT of my way to please. like I would host parties, pay for everyones vacations just because I wanted to be liked. Those 2 years were awful, I was in an abusive relationship, I felt like I was always walking on eggshells with my friends and I had a huge fear of abandonment. Like if someone would not respond to a text, I would text back a couple of times. I would keep following up about plans that were randomly said etc. I was also so focused on myself here that I was not a good friend, I devalued a couple people and treated them horribly, and then valued them again and tried to impress them. It was a mess. 

Earlier this year, that friend group decided to cut me off, they could not deal with my insecurity and impulsiveness and needed space from me. I am glad that happened because that is what led to my actual diagnoses and for the past 5-6 months I have been working on myself. I have made a small community in my new city- I still struggle with split thinkinig- but I am trying my best. 

Anyway, so my question is this, should I try to reach back out to my former friends to explain what has happened since and try to explain some of my behavior? I do not want it to come across as hoovering, but I also do not want them to hate me without understanding what I was going through? I know mental illness is not an excuse for bad behavior, but I think it might give closure to us all? 

I am not sure what to or even how to do it?