Quiet BPD here who hates admitting they struggle; learning to set boundaries though. Just got told I didn’t pass my new job probation although I have bent over backwards for it, surpassed targets and have put so much into the role. I know I do a good job - managers sing my praises but..

They said I didn’t pass due to three absences and if I’m honest two were from being absolutely having a terrible day, it’s hard working in retail and when mental health is still such a huge taboo. As a 21 year old with no family support (estranged parents) and a shit ton of trauma; it gets so lonely and overwhelming as it is. Almost ended up homeless last year and so this job is necessary. I didn’t feel to report my diagnosis when starting as I know how judged and stigmatised having BPD is but now wishing I did because making up random ailments like “dizziness” when in reality I’ve woken up dissociated and empty at 100 has caused me to be scrutinised. Holding down a job is hell when your identity shifts 24/7!!! I WISH PEOPLE WOULD JUST UNDERSTAND?? not their fault I know deep down as I could have reported that I have no control over fluctuating emotions that I conceal really well but result in doing everything I can to not harm myself when I’m alone. Now I’m sat on my lunch listening to angry music so close to just quitting but I know it’ll look a certain way.

Please can y’all validate these experiences if you can so my rejected ass doesn’t feel like I’m going crazy lol 

Hope y’all having a better day and if not, sending you a fat valid hug xxxxx