We contain multitudes; I have my flaws, shortcomings, and toxic traits, and I’m working everyday to be a better version of myself. If I were asked to name one good trait I recognize in myself, it is kindness. 

I can’t say no to the people I love, not necessarily because I don’t want to upset them or because I’m a people pleaser, but because I genuinely love them and would go further just to be there for them. I do get upset at times; when they don’t show up for me enough, when they say something that’s slightly insensitive..etc, but I don’t lash out at them or confront them in anyway and try to work on it by myself through radically accepting them, assuming they have good intentions, and also understand where they’re coming from. 

I noticed sometimes I feel disrespected and undermined by them particularly because I’m the way I’m when I’m around them. It just doesn’t feel like they care to put enough effort into being there for me or into our relationship and what not because they’re certain I’ll figure out a way to solve it internally and because they know I have a soft spot for the people I love and most likely wouldn’t want to them to feel the slightest distress. 

Who can relate? Do you have any stories? How do you deal/live with this? Advice? Tips?