I'm so tired of this. I was doing good and then everything goes bad again. I feel so sad. An unbearable sadness that just won't go away. I keep dissociating. I'm irritable and paranoid. I feel like I can't trust anyone. I want to cut everyone off but I only have two people left.
I'm so angry that nothing I do can make this better. Therapy I think will only help me handle my emotions. This will help me keep healthy relationships because I'll learn to not react negatively I guess. But what about me? When can I stop feeling these negative emotions. Its too much. I feel like everything about getting better with bpd is for the people around us and not actually to help the person with bpd.

I'm not diagnosed... I'm sorry. I'm very sure I have it. I'm just having a hard time getting myself help.