I really can't maintain friendships for very long. Maybe a year max. I'm extremely emotional/controlling/angry when I feel like something isn't going my way or feel threatened by something in the friendship. I also seem to make just awful jokes at others expense compulsively. I don't have any family either as I'm estranged from them. 

I feel like I'm meant to be alone at this point or just not live. The only thing that keeps me here is my cat which I seem to neglect him as well. And before anyone suggests going to therapy- I already do.