I don’t know what to do. It feels as if there’s something in me that’s eating at my soul and idk what to do to bring bk hope or joy or something that could make me happy. I can smile and laugh but it doesn’t feel like it’s real. I don’t have anyone to talk to about it and it feels it’s never ending. I have so many thoughts in my head to the point it’s jus all mush and I can’t even focus on one issue at a time. I don’t think ending my life would be an issue, why? Because it would just cause more problems for those who are alive but living like this seems unfair. Why does depression even exist, if there must be an opposite of happiness why does it have to feel like this. I can’t even remember the last time I was genuinely happy and glad to have this life. It seems unfair because I know there’s others who have it worse than me but also have a better life than me.