not really a crier. no it does not feel any better, im the same as i was before. it's how I'll always be, i hate existing, mom told me today about how proud she was of herself for having me in her late 30s, but..why? you say you support what i wanna do, but you won't let me take the steps and spend money on the right things instead you'd rather have me chasing a worthless degree just so I'm out of your house. fuck you mom, I've never said it or typed it out, but i hate you so much, i absolutely depsise you, you're the reason i exist, you pass on all your physical and mental problems to me and when i am hurting and tell you about it, all you say is "what can we do about it right?", you could've done a lot of things differently, you knowingly brought me into this world knowing damn well I'd probably have all the problems you do. and fuck you dad and fuck you sis.


what am I supposed to do? commit mental suicide and just go on with my life until i naturally die? pursue a worthless degree, get a minimum wage job, is that really what anyone wants? what the fuck am i supposed to do with my life? im good at absolutely nothing.