i don’t know what it is, but i’m ALWAYS punctual, if not early- even to casual gatherings with a loose meeting time. This makes me so incredibly anxious because i absolutely detest waiting, even if it’s for like five minutes. I go into “waiting mode” and evrything become stressful, and i cant focus on anything except the clock. No amount of distraction can help. This makes it so debilitating when everyone else is late (even if it’s like ten minutes- even that feels like eternity to me). It’s just so frustrating and I have no idea how to avoid this. I try aiming to be half an hour late but that makes me even more anxious, or I just end up reaching on time which is so weird. And i don’t know how to tell my friends that if I we agree for 4 p.m. then that doesn’t mean leave your house at 4 because “everyone’s always late” but means REACH at least by like 4:30 (We live in a very crowded city so travel anywhere ends up taking forty five mins or so). I know it’s not fair to expect that and i never bring it up with them but it’s getting increasingly worse with time and i’m starting to hold it against my loved ones. We always settle on days we’re all free and have no commitments (Obviously i never feel bad if they’re genuinely busy, but more often than not they’re just waiting till the last possible second because they all think everyone’s going to be late.)

I just end up having humongous breakdowns because everyone around me has a very lax attitude and have often said that they’ll leave their house to reach our meeting spot in an hour when i’m ALREADY there. It just makes me feel so bad. 
How do i avoid getting upset over this :( ?