it’s been almost 2 months since my ex has broken up with me and i still haven’t recovered. every day is hard. i cry every night. i work so that i can get distracted and not think about him. i miss him. his hugs. his smile. his touch. his scent. his laugh. everything. no matter how hard i try i can’t get over him. i’ve tried liking other people but it’s hard for me to even like someone let alone love someone. they’re just not him. in exactly 1 week from today it will be our 1 year. every day i wake up, it gets closer to that day which makes me anxious. i was so happy with him. and now he acts like a stranger to me. i cry next to him bc i can’t control my emotions and he doesn’t even ask if i’m ok. i want him to care. i want him to acknowledge me. i just wanna be with him. i would do anything to be with him. i’ve been gaining weight bc of my depression and it’s also be affecting me. i just don’t know what to do anymore. i don’t have anybody to talk to about this. it’s hard. i was embarrassed when we broke up and i didn’t tell anything about it. when we broke up i had the biggest panic attack and ive never gotten one. my whole body was numb i couldn’t move. i was hyperventilating that my throat and mouth was dry. i just felt pain all over. i wish i had tried harder to not do it. maybe if i did he would’ve stayed and i wouldn’t be experiencing this. he was the sweetest man i’ve ever met. the best bf a girl could’ve asked for. all the stuff he bought me i still use and have. he gave me those octopus plushies and i keep it in my car. before we started dating me he gave me a bracelet that i still wear to this day. and now he’s changed. he doesn’t look happy anymore. i’m all alone and i don’t know what to do. i just wish this world, god, someone to see what i’m going through and help me, make my wish come true. if a genie existed i would’ve used all 3 wishes to be with him. i would do anything to be with him. he’s all i want. i hope me ranting will make this world be happy again. to make my wish come true.