I am so tired. I was just plopped into this world and expected to grow up and sell the majority of my time to a job, to justify taking up space in this world. 

I've been having anxiety all day about the prospect of going to work. 

That's all it is. Work. Work work. 

Oh yeah sure nights and weekends. Except I'm tired from being fucking gaslit and dealing with passive aggressive management all day who expect me to maintain an illusion of production despite my job being literally to sit there and take people's temperature and make sure they're not coming to work sick. 

But this is the highest paying job with the lowest "stress" level. 

I'd love to go on disability. Only haha you need to basically sell your sell to get it, and it pays a fraction of what a job does. Certainly not anything to live off of. 

I hate being told "you have to go to work like the rest of us and make money." And "you got to think about the good things."

Literally those types of statements make me want to stab myself with a plastic spoon ffs. 

So yeah. Needless to say I'd really love to just get to the end of my life already. I'm so fed up with this. 

I don't want to be here anymore.