Before I start this, I am aware no one here is my therapist and I am going to tell her about this but now I am going to tell you what I’ve gone through the past week or two. Just a short list includes: Detached from reality, panic attacks, low energy, can’t even make a meal of leftovers, can’t clean room or wash dishes, increased risky or harmful behaviors (driving while looking at cellphone, getting high way too much and driving while high, smoking cigarettes, almost entertaining the fantasy of giving up my life and moving in with a person I had just met once, and abandoning all responsibilities to go have fun), feeling like a failure, having no plans for future, thinking of hurting self or running away over just a presentation for a class, staying up late, and forgetting things I’ve done including putting peanut butter in the fridge. The forgetful thing is what scares me the most. Have I been doing things on autopilot (maybe dissociating) and done more stuff besides the peanut butter without remembering? I also looked at a playlist I made for my friend and couldn’t remember adding half the songs. I try to dismiss behavior as “just anxiety” but this is obviously more than anxiety and it’s really worrying me. I am on Hydroxyzine (take as needed) but it’s not really fixing the problem. I’m aware of these behaviors but I don’t know where to go from here.