Background: my(29) Bf (29) and I have been dating for over 6 years. We just moved in together in September 2020. I got into grad school in May 2020. At first I enjoyed school because I was furloughed and classes were remote. Now I’m back at work, with student teaching, and remote classes at night. 
I’ve been having a hard time managing everything. I do every to try and help myself; if I’m not organized, I spiral. 
This weekend, I had another meltdown. I feel like everything is overwhelming me and I don’t know how to help myself. Hot yoga was my release before the pandemic. Now some studios are back open but I do not have the time or money to go (I tried yoga at home and it’s not the same to me).
In regards to my relationship, I’ve tried to explain myself more to help him understand why I feel the way I do. Some times he hugs me and says he’s here for me, sometimes he straight up tells me he doesn’t understand why I’m having anxiety. This meltdown this weekend was so bad I couldn’t even express myself. Sobbing uncontrollably, rubbing my hands and fingers to make myself feel better. He just watched me cry. Told me he was there for me. Tried to help me organize my to do list. But ultimately he couldn’t help me because he wanted to go to sleep (he works nights). When he woke up. I was on the couch recovering from my meltdown and looking up vitamins to help my anxiety. He was frustrated I didn’t get any of my homework done. Because now, out of the blue, he got invited to hang out at his friends house. He asked me if I wanted to go (said no), then asked if it was ok if he still went without me. I said ok, but I didn’t think he would actually go after watching me meltdown. He went. I understand, he’s not a mind reader. But I would have never left him if he had a day like that. I don’t know what else to do to help him understand me, especially when I’m incapable of expressing myself. I confronted him that I feel like he left because he didn’t want to deal with me. He says that’s not the case but I can’t shake that feeling. I feel like he abandoned me and I feel even more alone. Every time I try to explain myself to people no one understands.