I just want people to show that they fucking care about me. I hate being this way. I’m so lonely. I got to go I fill episode coming on. I’m back this shit gets fucking worse every day what did I do to deserve this. Literally what did I do to deserve this entire life? I keep trying to come to terms with this diagnosis but just knowing for sure that I will never experience normal emotions makes me wanna die so badly. Honestly I do need somebody to hold my hand but nobody in my family is that type of person so I’m forced to deal with this shit alone and be the strong one like I have always been. I keep trying to tell them that I need help but everybody’s fucking ignoring me but would be the first ones to say they were there for me if something happens. I thought about going to the hospital but they’re really coronavirus hotspot also I don’t wanna be in a fucking hospital by my fucking self also I have no way to get there which is ridiculous that there’s no hospital around me. I’m just fucking tired of everything I’m exhausted. How much more can I take