I would like to start off that I do not know myself completely, then worst that I was told by a professional is that I have an anxiety problem. Not an anxiety disorder but a problem with anxiety. When I scroll through many mental illnesses, I tell myself I have this and that but of course in this world, we not able to diagnose ourselves and to take things further, it's hard to consider the diagnose because everyone is different. Reading a little bit about BPD, it makes me feel like I have it myself. But then it makes me ask the question, does most of us millennials have BPD? But this post is mainly about my sister. With that being said, I'm going to move onto about my sister.

Currently she lives at home with us. While it seen as "staying", it's really that she lives with us (me and my wife). She was living with my mother and the father, that came to an end. She claims that he sexually assaulted her, he claims that he didn't and that they were playing a physical game. Everyone has mixed feelings about it, even me with knowing everyone for how long I have. It hurts her how mom chose dad over her. I don't think about belief wise but in the sense about him over her. It's also constantly mentioned that I am a better person than my father, especially with how I treat my wife. Part of me feels like my sister is lying and using this story as part of reason to live with us while also using this as an added excuse not to work. She's mentioned she has over nine different diagnosis on top of BPD. With these diagnosis, she's not able to work or even do almost anything around the house.  Her not working bothers me intensely. I'm currently in quarantine and she mentions that with me being home is messing with her and the animals schedule.

Then there's the relationship between me and my wife, I don't feel we're as close as we can be. I mostly blame her sister, our sister for this. It bothers me intensely not because of her living with us but for how I don't feel like me and my wife can connect on level that we need to. Constantly, her sister has to be there and her sister isn't seen as a third wheel but more of like her child. Both my wife and her sister have abandonment issues due to the past, with only mom being the one that has been constant. I've only been around for around three years. It even doesn't help with what social cues I've used with my wife, sister jumps right in. Or how I'm trying to communicate and I get interrupted almost every second by both of them. To make matters worse, it doesn't feel like the house is even home, just a place that I stay at like a prison. Before our sister, it felt like it was becoming our home. Most of this is my fault as well; between not gauging my wife, being how I am with ADD self, putting myself in this situation. Part of me wants to walk out; but I do love my wife. I want to love our sister. I love mom and dad, and others. I also just can't leave with how I feel about sister, it doesn't help that I fail at communication. Luckily I'm taking communication class in college. It's a two way street and I've been able to voice some aspects of their faults to my wife. I'm not really able to talk to sister without making her explode about anything, mostly because my characteristics remind her of men. I'll also add that my wife and sister are huge feminists as well, hate Trump mainly because of his attitude towards woman. I agree with that aspect but I believe in a way that he's needed to set some type of balance, a faith type of perspective. I wish someone with the good characteristics would come to office but that's a whole different topic. Back to feminism, I get it but it's just added in how I feel as every other minority issue. I don't think it should be forgotten about nor ignored but too much noise is an issue as well. Too much of that noise has affected our relationship. Sorry for going off topic, mainly was trying to express that with me being a man already puts me in a bad position with sister. To even add on, I have many different interests that do not match up with my wife and sister. I thought that me and my wife had the same interests at the beginning but I realized I was wrong. Even more with sister moved in lost time with wife. While I don't want to be around their interests, I get blamed as if I don't want to take part while they don't try to take part in my interests even when I offered. 

Between me being a man mixed with abonnement issues, and conflicting interests... I've come to the point where I do not like sister. I'm close to the point where I "hate" but.. It's freakin hard, and my wife just gets why at times. She actually has voiced that she's upset sister in some aspects as well. It just feels like she's chosen her sister at time. I hate feeling this way. There is much more to add but there's only so much I can add currently due to privacy and how I'm wired.

I get it all though as well. Or should I say I understand in some regard. I want to say I understand more but I am not in the person's shoes nor would I want to be. I am who I am and don't want it to ever change. While there are some experiences that I do regret, I take back and reflect of the, circumstances. I try desperately to change the aspect of myself to try and be a better person while I'm inherently evil like everyone else. I do apologize if I approached this reddit the wrong way or even in general, I'm still trying to learn to talk in a respectful way and some of this is not respectful from my perspective. What the future most likely holds is a family therapist considering soon enough, we will have more people living with us full time, everyone is supportive of this and we have the room for it. Sister already sees a therapist about life.

But in this point of time while I've shared my story, left me some questions. If you were in my shoes, how would you approach the situation from my perspective? What could you tell me to make things easier from sister's perspective or even wife's perspective? If you want to downvote, please bring your words as well here. If you want to say anything, please do as I'm trying to be open to all perspectives. Thanks for your time! :')