Going into the fall I start to have increased symptoms of both depressive and hypomanic states. I’m starting to feel it. 

I’m trying so hard to focus on the present compared to what my future may hold but it is getting increasingly difficult as my job and life in general gets more stressful. My partner is leaving back to college next week and I’ll go back to seeing them only once a month compared to the 3-4 times a week I do now. I have no friends. I am a god awful salesman, absolutely terrible at my job and I’ll have to hear it from my boss tomorrow. Don’t make a livable wage to go off on my own. Dropped out of college (again.) 

I’m stressed. And I’m scared. September is my worst month and that’s usually when all my self sabotage happens (quitting my jobs, going manic, all the fun stuff.) My life is on repeat and I hate this routine. 

I don’t know where I’m going with this but I needed to let this stuff off my chest. I’m tired and want to sleep for 1000 years. Looking forward to therapy this week though. Peace and love