I know depression isn't really the best word, but i don't know how to described it (stress, anxiety, panic/anxiety attacks, a lot of sad days, maybe even flirting with the ideea of suicide but never taking it seriously,).  And that is my question, can you suffer from this things and not really realising it? I mean i knew that i wasn't in my best state of mind but I said is normal because I am starting a new chapter in my life (first year of uni) and I suffered in the past with feelings like this (nothing as sever as this). And now I want to change things, to feel better. This lasted approximately 1 year. But now that I opened about this things to my gf (I've been together for almost 2 year) i was faced with questions like: why didn't you tell me this things, and she isn't really happy about this, our relationship isn't really going very well rn. She is also not in her best mood and i don't know what to do. I know is partially my fault that the relationship is like this.  
Sorry for the broken english.