i feel like such a shitty person, every Friend I've made either hates me or is on the verge of hating me. i try so hard to make people happy but it doesn't work, it's like I'm not even here. maybe i shouldn't be here. i barely eat anymore, i can only eat like once every 2 day's. I'm so mad at myself. i don't even know how to feel happy anymore, its been over 2 years since ive felt joy. i tried od last night, of course it didn't work, idk what the fuck to do. I'm about to fucking snap and just get it over with.