can bullying turn into childhood trauma?? at a very young age one of my friends just kinda turned on me i’m not gonna go in-depth on it but long story short she just started talking about me being my back and laughing at me with other people and avoiding me 
i know this probably seems like nothing but to a 9/10 year old it felt like my whole world exploded… anyway at this young age i was destroyed by this and when i look back at it i was in a deep depression back then. 
a few years later the same thing happened again with different friend but even worse this so called friend was so manipulative and if i didn’t do what they wanted they would say that they were gonna k!ll themselves or spread rumors and lies about me to other people and the the same stuff as the last friend laughing and talking about me to my other friends/people this caused my to have major anxiety and trust issues. 
now i’m 16 and a junior in highschool i’ve been friendless since i started highschool. 
it’s not as hard for me to talk to me anymore because i’ve been on lexapro for a year now, but i still have trouble starting conversations and keeping them going so at school i’m kinda mute most of the times. 
i say it doesn’t bother me but it really does everyone else my age is doing so much better than me they have jobs,friends a significant other and just a social life in general and i don’t i’ve tried so hard i don’t know how long i can keep doing this