Tonight I've been drinking (I know this is the worst, but I've been especially low), being in my inebriated state I decided to look at what my ex-girlfriend of 2 years has been up to and realised that she had cheated on me due to dates of when we broke up etc. Knowing all of this has just made me realise that I sabotaged myself and came to the realisation that, that's what I've could've become of me.

I hate relationships even though that I wish for someone to share all my deepest emotions with and settle down with. But I just wish I could just have that feeling again, knowing that she made me happy. But seeing her with another man...Just upsets me.

At this moment I honestly HATE myself. Just for the sheer fact that I have ruined everything around me and that I hate myself for everything I've done.

Just looking for some sort of comfort at the least, and at least had someone in the same situation and how to deal with it.