Tl;dr: can your favorite person still be your favorite person even if you haven’t spoken to them in a long time. 

I’ve had a pretty constant obsession with an ex that broke up with me over a year and half ago. The obsessive thinking about this person comes and goes. I will not think about him for months but then a week will come along and he’s all I can think about. I have spoken to him quite a few times since the break up, even almost reconciled with him (lol surprise it did not turn out well) and almost every time I get any amount of attention from him it’s like being on drugs. Lately, the idea of this person not being in my life has given me a crippling intense fear and pain. I am currently in a great relationship with someone else and I don’t know how to get over this. I feel like I am convincing myself I am still in love with him even though I truly believe I am confusing love with something else. Side note, when we almost reconciled (8months or so ago) it was me who pushed him away by being mean and harsh until he gave up on getting back together. I have no idea why I reacted like that considering up until that point all I wanted was to be with him. 

What do you guys think?