I would like to say first that I have not been diagnosed with BPD. But since this past summer I have had a strong feeling that I do. Anyways. It's been my dream for many years to live abroad. Traveling is one of my passions, especially traveling solo. I applied for this program in another country that's for 10 months last January. But this past summer I started feeling very depressed and it was when I thought I might have BPD. I had a small feeling that I shouldn't go and prioritize my mental health, but I did anyways. I've been here for almost 5 months and I think I'm going home. I feel really defeated that I couldn't even make it til the end, I feel like such a failure :( I think I need to go home and get help. It's my dream to be here and it's not like I expected it was going to be. I just don't feel like myself and how I should be living here. I get to travel every weekend and do these amazing things but it's not making me happy.  I guess I was running away from my problems, but they just followed me here. I've been laying in bed crying for the past 2 days and wanted to vent. 