I was recently diagnosed with borderline presonality disorder (BPD).

I constantly have a whirlwind of emotions and I put people off. I have trouble figuring out when to speak and when to not. My social cues are completely off and most of my friends have left me, or at least act differently around me.. I suffer from panic attacks where I uncontrollably scream and feel sucidal anywhere from 5 minutes to 2 hours... I've cheated on my boyfriend because of my unstable emotions and lack of proper judgement. I felt patterns of unsatisfaction and satisfaction and euphoria. 've made a huge mistake. We've been together for two years but we're still trying to hold on. I love him so much I can't breathe when I think of losing him. When I get in these moods everything just stops and time stands still, like an eternity of darkness lies ahead of me with no stopping the rain. I feel like I'm losing everything to this mental sickness. I'm also hypersexual, impulsive, and spending/gambling give me a rush of excitement..

Please, if anyone suffers anything similar to this, lets talk and be friends. I want to know that I'm not alone. I'm a 22 year old girl and so confused with my life. I haev periods of clarity and logic but if I think one wrong thing it all crumbles.