i (20f) just saw my former partner, who was physically abusive, in my recommended adds on snapchat. i was with him on and off 14-17. throughout the relationship i was very desperate and anxious of doing the wrong thing all the time. i immediately closed the app but have felt like i’ve been transported right back to being 15 again. i feel like i’m in fight or flight but to a minor degree, like how it felt when i was with him, low-key enough to almost ignore but persistent in the background. my hearts sped up i feel dizzy and i feel almost like my personality has regressed 5 years. i’ve been messaging my current partner (who couldn’t be more different) in the same desperate, cloying way and feeling upset at things as if he’s my ex, i feel a need to explain everything to him and am almost acting like i want his pity? i don’t feel like myself. it’s been an hour and i don’t know what to do. i’ve tried to calm down but it’s not active anxiety, i just feel the same as my base level was back then. i just want to cry and call my bf and beg him to come and see me and apologise for my every breathe and anxiously pick apart all his messages looking for hidden meanings. what can i do? is this normal?