Don’t get me wrong… I understand it, but I am so angry. I’ve had such a traumatic 2 years heartbreak, cheating, goading, bullying and much more. Anyway the more euphoric parts of shitty mental health winded me up pregnant. Me and the baby’s father didn’t see eye to eye on some stuff, he was irrationally angry about some shit but multiple times. Didn’t touch me really but wasn’t justified. My mum is also abusing alcohol and I currently live with her until I put an application through for emergency housing. 

You’re meant to talk about things in therapy. Offload etc, I told my therapist specifically I do not want to share some things as I do not trust they won’t override the info being shared BECAUSE of my child. My therapist said nothing will be shared without my consent, all decisions are mine. Now her bosses will not let her rest as she has to make my safeguarding formal, which means I will have social services (CPS for Americans) involvement. She seems genuinely sorry but I am so angry, I don’t trust social services. ‘A vulnerable, young mother with BPD’ I feel like I do not stand a fucking chance. Once you’re in these systems I feel like they make you hit impossible standards to get out of it. She’s even agreed with my distrust to an extent. It makes me want to withdraw from my treatment, I really cannot be bothered anymore. I’m trying so fucking hard, but I never imagined this life for myself and it is getting progressively worse. Now I really feel like walls are closing in and I have no other options.