My partner and I have been long distance since March. they can't get to the phone often, usually once every day or two. I had a really rough night last night, full of frantic calls and fear of abandonment. I cut myself for the first time in over a year. dozens of them on my thigh. I feel guilty about it. she asked tonight if I had hurt myself, and I hesitated, which made her ask several times. I'm not sure she completely believed me. all I told her was I'm safe, not I'm danger, and I didn't hurt myself.

I feel awful for lying, but I don't see how telling the truth would be good. it would just make her worry. she's trying to work all day, and I don't think this would be healthy for her to know. thoughts?