I say what now because he thinks nothings wrong with him (hold your horses, I'm not saying having bpd means you have something wrong with you) and he gets PISSED and offended if I try to talk to him about him and mental health. Even though he knows I deal with so much and I am very understanding about mental illnesses?  I just see so much similarities between us when it comes to bpd symptoms.

 It's kinda destroying our relationship because he's so manipulative without realizing/meaning to and he's SO insecure and runs off emotion and impulsivity and he's honestly more paranoid about abandonment than I am, and that's saying a lot lol. He's had so much trauma from his childhood, physical and emotional abuse from his alcoholic mom, his dad doesn't care about him, his brothers are addicts. So it's possible. 

I'm not a doctor so I am NOT diagnosing him but there is something there and he won't acknowledge it or go to therapy. It sucks so bad. I've been going to therapy for almost a decade, I'm doing so much for myself but he's bringing me down. I love him so much though