I just filled out an emotional intensity continuum while I was thinking about my ex and already somewhat splitting on them (I've felt pretty negative towards them for a while now despite wanting them back). 

I challenged my thought distortions, but it feels like the more I challenge them, the more angry I feel and split harder. The thoughts started as things like "I don't want someone who leaves me anyway" and ended up as "they're an asshole" and "they mean nothing to me". Neither of those things are really true, but if they can't be with me in the way I want, then I don't really care about them. 

My challenges tend to reframe myself as extremely independent, confident and cold, I guess? For example, "I don't know how they feel about me and I don't care" which I feel like is what is contributing to the splitting. But I don't even know if it's a problem because at least I'm not letting them hurt me if I split?