It could be the simplest things happening in anyone's life, yet they take place with this huge emotional weight. Sometimes I'd be sucked into a certain emotion or feeling and I can't explain why it preoccupies me so much to others. Like the other day I made arrangements with a parent to come over and tutor her daughter after school and I was excited for it. An hour later I didn't feel okay going, I felt this huge stress for some reason. On the agreed day I cancelled and I just felt so bad and guilty afterwards. What's also upsetting to me is that I don't precisely understand why I felt the way I felt and why I acted this way. Like I have been looking into tutoring as an extra income for some time and when there's a chance I block it right away. That also triggers another thought of how this affects my self-esteem when I can't keep up with commitments and with what I say I want to do. I know I'm being so harsh on myself but I'm just so upset right now. I hope this made sense.