My 19yo daughter has BPD. She’s living at home with me &amp; my husband/her Dad. Her boyfriend of 1.5 years broke up with her while she was in the middle of an intense BPD episode (forgive me if that’s not the right terminology), at the lowest of lows in a 4 week spiral, intense emotional distress, fearing he’d leave her. He said he “couldn’t love her like she needed to be loved”… we all know what that means. It’s been 3 weeks since the break up and she has started talking incessantly about 3 or 4 “good friends”, all guys I’ve never heard of, trying to convince me of what great people they are. I don’t know them at all so I have no basis for opinion of them personally, but its concerning for 2 reasons: 1. All of her actual good friends, guys and gals, who understand her and have proven trustworthy over a lengthy period of time to have her best interest at heart are around at our house often and we know them well. 2. This behavior after a severely painful rejection is the start of a pattern we are now very familiar after the last 3 breakups: After trying to convince her Dad and I these are awesome people who are trustworthy to spend a ton of time with, she’ll engage in extremely risky sexual behavior with them, and then they’ll ghost her after a month or two when they’re done with her. Deep hurt/rejection cycle will thrust our entire family into major crisis mode for months, none of us will be able to carry on normal life rhythms (sleep/eat/work), completely depleted of capacities and emotions, until she passes through it and recovers. How can we help her recognize the cycle at the start of it and lead her into awareness that her symptoms are driving poor choices? What are alternative, safe coping strategies we can guide her towards to heal the intense hurt she’s feeling from this type of rejection? What communication strategies can my husband and I use to set boundaries that we cannot sit by enabling self-destructive choices and we can’t sustain our lives being out of control for months on end while she deals with the repercussions of them? I want to be understanding to the challenges she is up against in her current situation, avoiding a communication pattern that will be perceived as unhelpful, non-empathetic parent speak: “I’m your Mom do what I say, guys only want one thing”, etc. She has a good individual therapist she’s been working with for 3 years (primarily CBT focused). She just started DBT intensive outpatient last week (group processing) so she’s not yet established those skills.