I just want to apologize in advance for another negativity post, I know I'm on r/depression but still, I feel like its my humane duty to stay positive &amp; optimistic as much as possible because negativity spreads like cancer and it's a waste of time... but I'm honestly losing hope in everything &amp; have nowhere to go for help.

I'm 26 years old, born deaf, I dropped out of highschool due to bullying &amp; anxiety, I had good grades &amp; I should have stuck with school until the end because now I cant find a job, I'm about to go homeless on January 1st, my dad is an alcoholic living with an abusive partner... and my mom has chronic cases of mental health issues ranging from depression to schizophrenia. I grew for 20 years thinking they were my heroes but then I grew up up &amp; realized they're doing worse off than I am mentally, they're in no condition to help me find a place in this world or get in touch with social services/programs.

I have noone.

I'm losing my hope &amp; happiness.

I'm going to be homeless as a deaf person in a society that doesnt care.

I feel like I cant relate to anyone.

I keep imagining a future without my parents and it literally hurts because they're human beings who raised me to be a good person and all I've done was let them down.

Fuck everything, honestly. I think this will be my last year. I wont exist in 2023. I'm sorry guys, for another shitty post, but I just cant stay strong anymore.