It’s my OH birthday soon and I’m throwing a birthday party for him. My life is pretty quiet and I don’t have a lot of people in my house usually. we don’t live together and none of his family go to his house so I offered to have it at mine. 

Yeah I’ve put myself in this position but atm 10 of his family members are coming over to my house for food and cake and it’s just making my anxiety go through the roof. I’ve just snowballed into this before I knew what I was doing and now I need to get out.

His Mum said we can do it at hers (I don’t know her that well, we’re polite) so there’s one option. Or I can just try to make this work? Honestly it’s not that I don’t like them, we get along fine I just a) Don’t have a lot in common with them
b) Things haven’t been great with him recently 
c) My house is alcohol free and his Dads an alcohol but they pretend it’s not happening (how do I politely say my house is alcohol free because I’ve seen him take a bottle to places)
d) I hate being in situations I don’t want to be in. 

Context...he recently had a huge BPD rage and cleared out his things from my house and wanted to break up. He’s not diagnosed but needs to be. 

I need support because right now I feel overwhelmed. Yeah this is all potentially in my control I’m just not strong enough to think clearly about what’s best to do about it all. 

Thanks for reading