It’s currently 4:30 in the morning and I can’t sleep, I’ve been crying for 3 hours already and my whole head hurts.

I’m 28 yo, male, single, live alone, no friends, no career, no dreams, no goals and just now realized that my life ended almost 10 years ago.

When I was 18 I had a beautiful life, was part of a dance crew with my high school friends, incredible girlfriend, lived close to my family, “knew” what I wanted to study and was actually really good at it, always got very good grades.

Then I moved 6 hours away from everything that I had to “be an architect” and everything pretty much ended for me.. I’ve done nothing but be more depressed and more disappointed at myself.
As I said, I think I died already a long time ago and now im just thinking about killing the body.. but I don’t want to cause any pain to anyone that might care about me so.. these are just thoughts.
It’s really painful, every little detail about myself makes me sad.
Anyways, just wanted to vent.. I don’t have anyone to talk to