I’m having some seriously bad splitting against my ‘best friend’ because of a series of events that have been happening. 

So my friend, we’ll call her Sarah, is one of my closest friends and she is literally like a sister to me. We talk about all our problems and concerns and share our feelings and funny experiences together and we can talk for hours on end about anything without getting bored. However, I’ve started to seriously feel conflicted and I’ve felt that I value the friendship above and beyond how much she values it. 

This has not gone unnoticed by my boyfriend, who has also made the same comment about my friendship with Sarah. He says that it feels as though she values me as a friend, but that the friendship with me is nowhere near as important to her as it is to me. And y’know, I’m seriously starting to believe that. She’s got lots of friends, she’s quite popular, and then I’m the opposite - I’ve only got 3-4 genuine friends that I hold dear. 

A few examples are that 2 years ago, she pestered me and another friend multiple times to go to this music festival with her because she really wanted to go and no one else she knew was gonna go to it. Neither me or my other friend really liked any of the acts, but because she was *soo* determines to go, we decided to go with her. Fast forward to now, and one of my favourite bands of all time is scheduled to come to our city in a few months. I went to ask Sarah if she would go with me because no one else knows their songs and she said “Oh sorry, I’m not a fan otherwise I would definitely go with you!” That really upset me, because I went to the music festival without *truly* wanting to go, and yet she won’t do the same for me. 

Then there are other times where she will come to me with things that are bothering her, and I’ll go to her with my troubles and concerns. Usually, she’s quite supportive, but today was a different story. I had been in a downer about 70% of today, and I was really struggling to get out of it. I went to her for advice. She answered my initial message, but then she left me on ‘read’. I thought “Strange, but that’s okay. She’s probably busy”. Hours pass, no response. I go on Facebook and see that she’s been tagging another friend in things and having a laugh with them just an hour ago. 

I can’t help but feel very hurt and angry right now, and the splitting is unreal. I am so angry and hurt that I just feel like, I dunno, deactivating my account and getting away from social media. My concern is I don’t know whether this is just me being irrational and splitting unnecessarily, or whether she genuinely *doesn’t* care as much about our friendship as I do.... Considering my boyfriend, who is non-BPD and has a very level head on his shoulders even voiced the same concerns as me before, it makes me think that maybe I’m not just being irrational. 

What do you guys think? Am I just being irrational because I’m hurt or does it seem as though she genuinely doesn’t give a shit?

TL;DR - My best friend has been appearing as though she doesn’t value the friendship as much as I value it. Boyfriend also voiced this opinion. Don’t know if I’m being biased due to splitting on her or whether it’s true. 