Yesterday I went snowboarding with a bunch of friends. It was my first time, so predictably I was not very good at it. I fell on my wrist and ended up having to go to the first aid. 

First aid told me they think it's broken, and that I should go to the hospital as soon as I get home. When we got off the bus back in our home city, no one offered to come with me to the hospital. They just said "hope you're okay" and left to go out for drinks. I was crying and obviously not okay. At the hospital, they did an x-ray and told me it's not broken, so I went home. I live alone. 

At home, I was in some of the most *extreme* pain I have ever felt. I called the hospital again and they said I should come back, but I was in too much pain to move so that wasn't possible. I texted and called a few people for help. Everyone was busy. I even called my ex, because I thought he would care enough if I was in an emergency. He basically told me to go fuck myself. 

I feel so let down by my friends, and like I don't have a single person to turn to in a crisis. I ended up taking a whole lot of pills with the aim of getting unconcious enough to not feel the pain. 

Woke up this morning and I'm reminded again of what happened. The worst thing about this is that I won't be able to play my violin for a while. This is the one thing in my life that provides me with some sort of joy.