I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about them. I know that some of my demands are unreasonable, and therefore my SO has the right to put his foot down and say no to them. Plus he genuinely feels sorry for me when he has to say no; he says that if it would really make me better in the long-term he would do it in a heartbeat. But unfortunately we all know that it won't — it'll just make things worse.

But how do I live with it in the short-term? I can't help feeling like everything is so unfair. I didn't ask to be hurt about things like this, and when he puts his foot down it feels like my world has crumbled. I basically do the mental equivalent of stomping my feet and screaming "I HATE YOU". So what if it's unfair or unreasonable to him? I didn't ask to have BPD either! If I'm a burn victim is it really *that* unreasonable for me to ask you to help me make the pain better? 

It's also not helping that my therapist has been pointing out to me that those demands are unfair to my SO. It makes me feel like everyone in this world is against me. Part of me honestly wishes I could return to the stage before I realized there was something wrong with me, when I could be my worst self and not feel bad or guilty about it. Sometimes self-awareness sucks. The worst part is that I know I'm in the wrong, and yet I still can't help feeling bitter and resentful about it. 