It's actually been a long time since I ever felt this way and it is such a sucky feeling to feel heart broken and depressed. If I may, I just want to rant out a bit here and tell my story. 

I'm a 34 year old man who accidentally fell in love with my coworker. Due to the nature of our job, we see each other 6 days a week and countless hours for the last 2 years. We've always had an extremely good connection with one of another and there probably isn't anything I wouldn't do for her, but we never hang out outside of work. She knows I liked her, but she declined me when I asked her out last year. No big deal and that we should keep it professional at work. Today, she accepted a date and went into a relationship with one of her friend that she has known for awhile. I also know this friend of hers since she would always vent at me on how she hated him, so this caught me off by surprise. Only found out by when I saw an social media post when the man posted a story about how they were now going out together.

Looking back for the last two years, the harsh reality is that I really held out hope that one day she would like me even all the things I've done for her. It was also a main reason I couldn't find and date someone else because I didn't give myself a chance. I also secretly knew one day she would find someone else but my brain and heart refused to believe it. 

There wasn't a day that I did not forget to pay for her coffee nor would I ever forget to include her at lunch. Even on my days off, I would buy food and bring it back to her so she wouldn't starve. Days where she was late and would cover her ass. Work that needed extra work that I would stay longer hours to help her take care of it while she went home. Memorize everything she likes and hate. When she is ever in a bad mood, I would go out of my way and cheer her up even if it meant I would get in trouble. I was the first person to ever gift her a luxury designer bag. No, money was not an issue since we both make a very good salary and it was the thought that counts. 

It felt like I sacraficed a lot for her because I cared for her. Now everything is backfiring on me and reality is hitting me hard. Not sure what to do tomorrow when I go back to work to know she's right there. Also thoughts of changing career has been lingering for awhile and finally probably found a good excuse to pull on the trigger. Due to the nature of my job, I am unable to have a social life outside of work as I mentioned before, 6 days a week and 60+ hours a week, which is why I been wanting to change career.

It sucks right now, but I will get through it. Thank you for listening to my story.