I feel like i was born borderline. And i remember in elementary and middle school people seemed to like me, but moreso they liked the concept of me and how i made them feel. the fact that i was an overly emotional, dramatic, goofy class clown kid. Like i had zero friends in elementary, middle, and high school. I remember in middle school the whole class in grade 8 would sort of treat me like I was an entertainer.  Everyone was nice to me, but i feel like everyone especially the popular kids in my class would sort of observe my behaviour and they would laugh at it. And in my mind i was convinced i was the shit, the prodigy, the popular kid, the one everyone desired. I walked around in the halls thinking i was the shit but now that i look back im embarrassed at how i acted. I also remember in middle school i never could find my clique. I remember being very social and charismatic in class in hopes some clique adopted me into their friend group. I used to be in a friend group in middle school that i knew since elementary school but i feel like they only liked me because of how i made them feel, they liked the concept of me, but i never truly bonded with someone on a friendship level. I also remember that the more people im around, the less i know how to act like myself so i spend most of my time being obnoxious, overly dramatic, always making jokes, and i thought that was how you make friends, but you actually make friends by sharing similar interests, by playing the same sports, things like that. But i never could find any hobbies or interests that i liked. I always felt like i was an entertainer, a clown, a dumbass. But deep inside im actually intelligent but i just feel like i dont know how to be myself and make friends. Im 21 and i still dont have any friends. Im kind of just accepting it. I dont belong anywhere