At 11 years old, my mom forced me to cut my hair extremely short because up until that point in my life I chewed on EVERYTHING. The tiniest bit of anxiety, I shredded an entire pencil, sucked on my hair in school (the home haircut came after my teacher's second call about it) my teeth are super filed down because to this day I grind them constantly and I'm too embarrassed to go to a dentist.

13 years later, I thought I had beat this coping mechanism and my hair has been long again for about a year. But then the past few months I feel everything going downhill (personal, professional, relationships- just everything). I am constantly catastrophizing every tiny decision and having panic attacks more and more often.

And I'm chewing again. 

My neckline and sleeves, my hair (was chewing on it intermittently without realizing it while talking- the person was nice enough not to say anything but once I realized I had been doing it after the conversation, I went into the bathroom and cried), pencils, the edges of cups, buttons, zippers, my nails. 

I am incredibly ashamed of it- I've added it to my cycle of worries that pops in when I'm not blasting constant stimulation into my system to avoid thinking about it too much. I've confided in few others about this and have been met with "It's just a bad habit- just break it". It's not. If anyone has advice or maybe have been in this place yourself I could really use some support.