I have put her on a pedestal for so long, using her as an excuse to not deal with my emotions. Because of multiple circumstances I haven't been able to do that, and I feel her pulling away. I know she wants to break up with me, but I don't think she has the power to do it yet, so I'm doing it myself tomorrow. Right now I feel okay. Obviously sad. But this has gone on for 3 years, and I am getting fed up with how I worry about her 24/7 and overthink everything that she says to me. It's going to sting for a long time, but eventually my mind will be more at ease. I will form a better relationship with myself. I will attempt to build healthy relationships with new people and others around me. I will continue working on my hobbies, meditating, and working on improving my self talk. I don't know why I'm posting this, I guess I just feel the need to put it out there. Maybe because I know a horrible sense of grief and regret is coming so I'm trying to convince myself that this is right. I'm terrified yet proud of myself, and there is a bit of anticipation and anxiety for my future.