Just this deep, fundamental expectation that things are gonna go wrong, that every interaction with another person would hurt me, even if they've been nothing but nice the fear never goes away.

It's like there's two of me, an excitable kid that can chat your ears off and a cringing wreck who's terrified of her existence being noticed. If there's the slightest chance someone could be unhappy with me, inconvenienced by my presence, better off without me, there's a part of me that wants to bolt away and hide.