Hi, 

I just spent a really amazing weekend meeting up with someone I had been chatting with online. It was sweet and romantic and we spent the whole time together and it was very nice. It was immediately comfortable and safe and welcoming. But now we won't see each other for a couple months. 

Normally when I have romantic interest in someone I get obsessive and can't stop thinking about them. I spend a lot of anxious energy thinking about when I will see them again and how I can impress them. 

But now I'm back home and I won't see them for a few months and I feel....nothing. I don't feel sad or longing. I don't feel happy that we met. I don't feel anything.  

Last year I had a pretty traumatic and long drawn out failed relationship and I don't know if my brain is just shutting down to protect me, or if I don't even like the guy? It was so nice while I was there... 

I don't know. I feel guilty. I wish I could understand myself better.