   There's absolutely a comforting feeling associated with feeling depressed. I've spent most of my conscious life being depressed and not feeling like I can accomplish very much. I have supportive people, but not supportive to the extent that can help somebody as inconsolable as myself. Like my mother for instance. She is so kindhearted and caring when I may need, but she can also be very judgemental and takes things to extremes that they do not need to go, and whenever I talk to her about how I'm feeling, she cries, which only makes me feel worse.
My depression has reached a stage of ahedonia; I do not feel pleasure from the things that once brought me joy. I don't even cry anymore, unless I open up to somebody about the way I feel, which takes complete and utter defeat and hurt in my heart for me to do.
And I don't hate opening up either. I enjoy doing it. But I cannot get the words out the way I'd like to, and I end up diluting the things that are actually wrong with me, ultimately making seem like the wrong kind of attention-seeking. 

   With that being said. How do I feel comfort when I'm sad? Well, I don't always. A lot of times I do, but not always. The comfort, for myself, derives from the idea that being depressed is easier than having to rebuild past relationships, rethink everything, and restart a life that I started. Just like in the same way that ignorance is bliss. Being sad, for me, is comforting. There is something else to it too...
   The 'happiness' was due to the fact that whilst others preferred company and friends I could do without both. Survive without both.
I also felt an heightened sense of self awareness. True when u have no one around u know yourself much better. Such times gave me an opportunity to experience scenarios such as ' the world vs me '. It is a very strange feeling. But I often viewed myself as the one who viewed the crowds from a distance seeing as they were; people who were same , of the Same color ...lost in crowds, generic and common. While I was different and I understood I was different. I used to think that from their perspective they thought I was some lost idiot with no sense of direction. But within me I had understood that there is no true direction and the direction they were following seemed right because the masses were following it.

But, of course, it is when the loneliness feels like loneliness and when the gloom feels like doom. Those are the times I fucking hate myself, and want to make bad decisions so I can numb my pain, and also numb the feeling of wanting to numb my pain. The forethought of not being able to numb myself some how is like an internal feeling of watching someone you love dearly die right in front of you, completely unable to do anything about it.