I can't tell the difference between what my illnesses are and what a natural reaction is or if I'm just an asshole about how I process situations. I cant stop going over every single thing in my head, beating myself up all the time. I can stop. I wish I could learn how to stop but it's impossible. I just want to do better. I don't want to be one of the people in somebody's life that has hurt them because I know how that feels. I'm always just trying to be a better person. it seems like the harder I try the more I seem to fuck up. I don't have any friends. I don't have ANY friends because I feel like I attract people that just use me and manipulate me and make me feel horrible about myself. I'm alone. I guess it's just one of those days but I'm having a hard time right now. I just want to feel like I'm doing ok and I wish I could be loved.