i'm 18 and i struggle a lot with physical symptoms of anxiety lately, such as a fast/irregular heartbeat, chest pains, hot and cold flushes, muscle pains, breathing difficulties, insomnia, twitching, etc and it's driving me insane to the point i get thoughts about having serious health issues nearly everyday. i worry excessively about having heart disease, or if i'm having a heart attack or a stroke, or if i'm developing parkinson's, amongst other shit.

it's so stupid but it's legit gotten to the point where i'll do silly things like check my heart rate to make sure i'm not having a heart attack or move around if i feel like my legs are getting tense/heavy so that i don't get a bloodclot or something. i'm pretty sure my anxiety stems from previous mdma abuse (that made it worse) which sucks because i've been clean from it for nearly 3 months now and clean off everything else for over a month. i can't even drink caffeine anymore because it makes my heart race, even if it's not a lot.

i regret most of my past decisions and poor judgement but i suppose there isn't much i can do right now besides hope for the best. i just wish i didn't feel so hopeless and alone. sometimes it truly feels like i'm losing my mind. if anyone has read this, thank you.