Sorry long post sort of but I have always struggled really bad with anxiety and low self esteem. It all started when I was living with my dad. For some reason, he never seemed to like me. One day he told me I was the cause of his problems and he would always put me down for simple things like washing the dishes wrong, etc. He would make me feel worthless and often compare me to other family friends. While, I was living with him, I was accepted into U of Michigan and the only thing he said to me was congrats. Just a simple congrats and then refused to let me go there. Well, that really hurt and a few months down the line, my relationship with him got even worse and it ended with me trying to attempt suicide. The next morning we got into a argument and I snapped at him, told him - do you realize what I did last night. After he found out, he was like I don’t care if you do that. It doesn’t hurt me, you are only hurt yourself. 

That was my breaking point. I decided I was going to find myself a full time job and move out in a few months. So that’s what I did. I found a cheap apartment in Detroit and after I found a job making 11 an hour, I moved out. My dad only gave me 300 to move out. I was working while living with him but only of my checks went to him. He said I owed him for rent and other things. I didn’t care if he gave me anything. I just wanted to be out. 

Fast forward to now, I have been out of his house for four years. I worked two jobs to help support myself. I ended up getting accepted to nursing school a few years back in 2018. I graduated with my associates degree in nursing in 2020. I went to nursing school because I love medicine but I also wanted to able to support myself on my own. I got accepted to University of Michigan again and I am currently working on a dual bachelors in neuroscience and public health. I am hoping to med school. The thing is despite all this, some days I feel so worthless and such a burden due to my past from living at my dads. I know that I am not worthless or a burden but my brain can’t seem to let go of these demons. I constantly feel like I am not doing well in my life and that I will never good enough. How do I get rid of this anxiety? Please help, I am so sick of it.