After yet another argument, my FP left me and only took me back after excessive begging. I just can't look at him in the same way anymore. He left me in my time of need when I was desperately crying for affection, wouldn't take me back when I begged the first few times, and didn't seem to care that I would be homeless if he kicked me out (but maybe I'm interpreting that convo wrong).

He apologized for breaking up and is sweet again, and I still love him more than anything, but I feel completely and absolutely unloved. I'm crying all the fucking time and I can't even go to him for help anymore. I'm terrified if I say one more upsetting thing he'll throw me away again. He took me back but I still want to die. 

**Has anyone else had their FP abandon them only to return? Were you able to feel loved again after they gave up on you?**