Hes never believed me about my depression, always saying im faking or i wasnt traumatized enough. I dont know what to say anymore really so i just stare at him, i dont make any face besides a forced smile. I dont wanna give him the satisfaction of my tears. Ive always been a crier, I sobbed and sobbed whenever i got yelled at, but i refuse to let him see me cry again. I sont want him to know he gets to me, i want him to think im laughing at him behind closed doors. Everytime he gets mad me and my sister think hes gonna hit us, hen ever has really to me, but the threats linger along with the sight of his clenched fist. He saw me and my sisters rooms and screamed at my sister for hours, forced her to clean in front of him. When i got home he was apparently too tired to do so with me so jsut stuck with angry yelling. 
Im 18 now, i just need to save up enough to move out. I want out of this hell pit, i wanna ne able to block them on everything. My little sister talked about moving in with our older sister, its gonna be rough. Theyve always called me a disgusting slob theoughout my depression, any time i call out for help it falls on deaf ears. So here i am self loathingly cleaning my room, occasionally he'll come in to tear into me about how "if i was so tired how did i carry the food up the stairs" or something along those lines. Itll take me another 2 hours if i hurry to clean this thing, so back to work i go.