I’m on vacation in Florida now, by all means I should be happy. However seeing people with friends/girls friends enjoying themselves makes me feel miserable. I feel more miserable on vacation then normally, because your supposed to enjoy yourself on vacation, and no amount of beaches and elegant dining can suffice my misery. Deep depression is the grief which infiltrates and permeates every micro chasm of your life. Nothing makes you feel joy, no accomplishment, not even money. You waste away in misery regardless of what happens because of one reason really-hatred. True depression is borne not from something bad happening to you, but from a deep seeded resentment and hatred of others, and the worst cases of deep depression result from a passionate hatred of all human beings not limited to any individual or group. I have that breed of depression, I hate them because I’m envious of them, they’re joy Is what I’m envious of, they feel happy, they have meaningful lives with friends. They’re lowest valley is higher then my annual emotional peak. I feel jealous because I didn’t do anything to deserve my misery, my loneliness, or my isolation. I want to have someone I can express my emotions to, but nobody wants that of me. So I hide here in eternal misery without hope, not knowing why I live cynical of every moment skeptical of anything good. This is the truest form of depression, greater then the grief of losing a loved one, a career, or even a spouse or child. It’s the existential depression which drives us to agony slowly, but cruelly over the course of years of loveless bleak cruel lives.