Title pretty much says it... i ache desperately for friendship, a connection, someone to care and yet I cant stop pushing everyone away

I won't reach out to people, I have deactivated my Facebook account too many times to count, I have unfollowed literally every person and page I followed on Instagram, when people actually message, i dont reply until I happen to be having a good day and even then I will rarely hold a conversation if one starts to happen...

Will I ever grow out of this, what I know to be, childish behaviour??