 

Hi,

So, this is quite a generalised situation, it's not something that happens on a daily/weekly basis of course but I know how I then begin to feel and from my experiences of how others tend to act in this situation.

When I have a minor bump on a part that "stuns", eg head, "funny bone" or slipping on my tailbone, I start to feel a rush of overwhelming upset. I need to have some time to calm down, breathe. Typically, if someone is nearby and witnesses, they might start to ask something like "are you okay?", often continuing to ask this until they have a satisfying response. They tend to hover very closely to me, much closer than I am comfortable with in this situation. I'll mention here for context that I definitely have heightened sensitivity to many sensory aspects particularly when dealing with other things such as pain, over-stimulation, etc, though I don't currently have the resources to seek the complex assessments for a potential neurodiverse condition (I do just have a Borderline/Emotionally Unstable PD diagnosis). So, in this situation, truly it is all I can do to ask them to give me some quiet and space one time, possibly I can repeat if they truly didn't hear clearly, but more often I end up yelling at them because it's as though this is being ignored. If the person continues to stay very close to me while I am slowly moving/not yet moving to stand up or whatever, or to follow me if I move away/are unintentionally (?) blocking my path from moving away to another room, continues to speak to me, I start to feel myself spiraling into being completely driven by frustration and anger. Similarly I can try to just walk away if physically possible (if they are not physically blocking my way, if I have slipped and need time to stand up slowly) but typically will be followed.

Now of course I understand where they are coming from, they are concerned about an injury, they want to ensure I am okay. There is probably not a great understanding of why I am seeking quiet and space. I've been accused of rejecting help/being ungrateful for help, that it is "odd" for me to want to be alone, that I shouldn't be feeling "angry about hurting myself", I've been told that there is nothing wrong with them acting this way as though this is something I don't already understand... I'm not attributing negative intent to their behaviour here but I really do feel frustrated, I want it to be respected that I am asking for something I need. It's like they are reacting, which I understand but don't appreciate, in quite a panicked state of wanting it to be better, which contradicts my need to start calming myself down, I would then start to feel uncontrollably angry and telling them much more harshly to go away, then I am judged negatively for this which escalates it further. There's a difference if it's a serious injury, if I need some medical/injury treatment I can't do for myself. I think it seems as though they don't trust what I am saying or respect my ability to identify and ask for when I need medical help.

I'd appreciate if someone has some perspective on communicating about this particularly if someone isn't trusting what I am explaining about my need here. It's obviously not something that naturally tends to come up until it's then in the moment where I just need to be trusted that, yes, I mean what I am telling you, I need space! Though even after calming down from the situation and trying to revisit the issue, I am accused of being "ridiculous" and that it's me who doesn't understand what's right in that situation... no trust that I do, in fact, know what is right for my own body.

Does anyone else experience this sort of overwhelming sensation... nobody I've come across so far can relate and I feel so conflicted that on the one hand I KNOW my own body, that I'm asking for something I genuinely need but also that nobody seems to understand why this would be. So even when I explain as politely as possible, I still experience judgment like it's unreasonable for me to feel this.