hello everyone, rando with BPD here, i also have ADHD, anxiety, major depressive disorder and ocd.

i am 20 years old, in a amazing relationship with the love of my life who i plan on keeping close forever, but lately i have been not feeling good enough.

she constantly points out things around the house that i might be doing wrong, not putting clothes away right away, leaving messes on counters and so on, just habits that are not very healthy.

she grew up in a extremely clean enviroment, her mom being a clean freak and i grew up in a not so clean, chaotic household, ive always been organized when it comes to myself, but i am very forgetful about things.

she has a list i try to follow that i save to my phone and some written on the fridge to help me remember but i am very forgetful and it makes me so sad when i can hear and see how visually upset or dissapointed she is in me when i forgot to do things.

it makes me feel so helpless or sad or like nervous, shes never been the angry type but any feeling of negativity from her in the slightest form kills me and just makes me so upset at myself for not being better and keeping up.

i try to form good habits and do better but i feel i cant, even at work im very forgetful and when anything is mentioned my mood shifts so fast but not comparable to how i am with my significant other, with her it makes me feel like dissapearing whenever i do wrong.

how can i overcome this forgetfullness, the swinging of intense emotional dread that goes over me when i do something wrong? i want to do better for her?