My brain is trying to convince me I'm unlovable and is trying to force me to accept the idea that I'm just meant to die alone. My heart hurts so bad because I don't want this to be true. I don't want to be alone but I feel a need to reject humanity to protect myself.  I feel like I'm evil and deserve no love. That if I had any sort of redeeming qualities I wouldn't be by myself. It hurts so bad I just want to scream.