Hiya everyone !! I’m battling some quite scary health problems at the moment. I was hospitalised for two weeks at the beginning of december due to having extensive bilateral pulmonary embolisms - so pretty much i had lots of blood clots in the arteries in my lungs. 

i’m only 18 and it is really uncommon for someone my age to get blood clots that bad but the doctors think it was due to taking birth control.  I’ve been placed on anticoagulants for at least 6 months to thin my blood which will help my body dissolve all the clots. 

However, being on the anticoagulants has so many rare but lethal side effects such as a 1 in 1000 chance of having a brain haemorrhage. I know it’s only a 0.1% chance of that happening and it’s only likely if I experience any sort of head trauma but I am honestly terrified of it happening to me. 

I have frequent times of feeling dread and panic due to my health. Sometimes I convince myself I have some sort of disorder that means im going to clot really easily and it will eventually kill me. Online whilst i was looking for information about PEs I saw that the mortality rate for PEs that are undergoing treatment is 8% and this also terrifies me that even though I am receiving treatment there’s still nearly a 1 in 10 chance I could die. 

If anyone has any advice on how to get over these thoughts please help me