I’m starting to grow hate for my friends and family. I’m a very loving person and have always been this way. It takes a lot for me to get angry... 
but with the way the world is going, I just can’t see myself being here in pain everyday over what we are as humans. I don’t even feel like I’m human. 
I feel like I don’t belong here. I miss my dad so much. 
He was the only person that would actually listen to my crazy things I wanted to talk about and actually talk to me about weird things. 
Now everytime I try to talk to my friends and family about the stuff I find interesting they act weirded out or bored. I truly feel alone. I feel like no one understands me at all. I started to hate my friends because I noticed how much negativity they talk on others and their own lives. I started to hate my family because they never really helped me after my dad passed. I’m even starting to hate my best friend. 
She’s not the person I thought she was and it’s very upsetting to me. I don’t know what it is but I can’t seem to forgive these people for what they have done in the past and present. 
My expectations for humans are too high I guess because I can’t help but look down on everyone even though I know I make mistakes too. I don’t know why this is growing in me, I’ve never been this way I promise. I don’t want to think this way, but it feels like I can’t help it. 
I’m afraid to go to family about my mental health, because I feel like they will just tell me to put my chin up like they always do. I’m afraid to tell professionals that I want to be gone because I don’t wanna be in a mental hospital. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Nothing makes me happy. I hate this world. I hate humans. I hate myself. I just want to be with my dad. 

I also don’t. I want to not be this way. I want to love life. 
But I don’t know how to get out of this mindset.. 
please please help me. 
I’ve already started a plan so everything will be set up for my family and friends when I’m gone. 
I’m scared.  How do I stop these awful thoughts