For the first time in my life I’ve reached a Stable enough point to date. I’m in college but the past several years have been marked by horrible toxic relationships with my family and friends and every romantic relationship I’ve had has been abusive and emotionally crippling. I’ve refrained from dating and sex the past 4 years, worked on myself, got help, and now we’re here, and for the first time I have the human ability to become *somewhat* close to people. At this point most people my age have had numerous sexual partners. I’ve never had sex due to severe severe severe social anxiety. The girl I’m dating is in a sorority, told me about going to swaps (basically when a frat and a sorority get together and fuck), and has undoubtedly hooked up with many guys. Im a virgin, I have no clue how to handle this and it tears my soul apart knowing she’s had way more sex than me. This is gonna sound weird but to know she’s been pleasured and pleasured other guys makes me feel so worthless in comparison. I haven’t told her about this because I know it’s not her fault and I don’t blame her but internally it hurts so bad that it’s debilitating. How do you guys deal with this?