my therapist, my boyfriend from almost 3 years and my family all encourage me to spend more time with my friends but i just don't want to. i always feel super anxious and sad if i go out without my boyfriend. i don't mind to be alone (that's what i prefer most of times, if i have to choose between going out with friends or staying at home watching netflix shows). i'm not sure if it's a bpd thing but i think it might be since it seems like i'm spending all my energy on my FP and none on the people who were with me and helped me trought my ilness long before he was in my life. i feel so tired of it. i feel so guilty too, for being incapable of returning the love of my oldest friends. i feel like i'm a terrible person because of my own lack of feelings. i don't really know what to do, or if there's anything i *can* do, really. i just want to be a normal with a normal relationship and normal friendships but it seems impossible.