Title says it all. Abuser made my life hell for years, I still have panic attacks over it. I avoided getting the diagnosis because I knew my abuser had it and I do not want to be them. I go out of my way not to be, I do everything in my power to be healthy. 

Every person who has done really awful things to me had a personality disorder, which may explain my fear…
Advice would be great for coping with this.