The root of my depression was the breakup with my girlfriend. But after my friends told me what happened and what she said. I broke down even more, because the truth was I was 100% the one who broke this relationship. I turned into a toxic person. I didn't hit her, but I hurt her with my words. I know now from the talk, I lacked self-awareness and empathy as a human being. Add that with some victim syndrome and that is what broke it all. She was my treasure, my goal, my dream. BUT I DIDNT OR WANT TO NOTICE THAT I HURT HER. She became afraid of me, I stole her smile so she is learning again. For fuck sakes, how can I lack such basic things that make us human. 

She deserves better, Someone who WOULDN'T hurt her. Someone who can take care of her. I fucking wish it was me, but I fucking failed because I lacked what I needed in the relationship. I fucked up, I fucking failed and I am not even thinking of getting back with her after this. Because all of this was my fault.

Please if anyone has something for learning empathy, self-awareness, or how to handle victim syndrome. Please send it my way. I don't want to hurt anyone else for what I lack as a human.