I have a history of anxiety and possible OCD.

 Sometime ago, I accidentally hit what I believed to be asbestos on a ceiling as possible dust and rock textured bits came down. Prior to this incident, I knew of asbestos and that it could could be dangerous but I never knew it could kill somebody with just one whiff. When I found out I threw away my clothes and shoes however I thought I wasn’t cautious enough and brought it to my apartment. 

After some research I found that the building I was in at the time “opened its doors on 2006”. Then I calmed down. Until I found out that, the building was constructed in 1965, but renovated in 2006. I bought a HEPA vacuum, but found out the vacuum I bought isn’t industrial grade. Now I brought it in the air and made things worse.

When I looked at the room I was in at that time I looked at the air ducts above, when I saw the air duct label I found a label that said and a tab that said floor. Next to floor, I saw numbers that resembled a date format “7-8-05”. I saw the label again on another room’s duct in the same building but it “7-25-05”.

In another building that was constructed in 2008 had the same ceiling material as the original room I talked about. This is a publicly accessible building. Actually, multiple newer looking rooms in the 2006 building have the same material.

One a building near me was renovated the whole building was redone, so It gives me hope that maybe the 2006 building has no asbestos 

I cant  check myself otherwise other people can be exposed some days i excessive worry over it thinking that I could’ve killed someone. Some days i get so overwhelmed with it that I can’t do anything. I don’t know how I could live with myself if I actually killed someone accident or not.  I make plans on how I should off myself in case this happens but I don’t have the courage, and i have no way of knowing if it’s actually asbestos or not. 

I don’t know if this is venting or reassurance or advice seeking but I’m just tired. I’ll just label this as venting so the post will go through.