I'm 28F and have struggled hard with BPD. I've always been promiscuous and impulsive and used sex as a way to self mutilate. I didn't care about the concequences but am now in a happy relationship with the man I plan to marry. life is finally starting to get better and my moods are in check. I feel like there's hope. But today my gyno called and told me I have antibodies for hsv2. They told me I can't transmit it and the test wasn't "positive" but at some point I was exposed. I had been so careless. I let men use me for the rush and I guess maybe to feel a little less alone. I figured it would never happen to me or I'd be dead and not have to face the concequences. But here I am happy finally feeling like I'm living and I have to face the concequences of my past.  I'm lucky I don't have outbreaks and that this won't permanently alter my life but the guilt of how little I respected myself is hanging over me. I never thought it would get better so I didn't care. But I'm here to tell you you should care before the worst happens. Love yourself even when those thoughts are shouting at you that you're worthless. Protect your temple. Practice safe sex and don't let your loneliness convince you it's okay not to. Because you're worth it and future you is rooting for you.