Hi, sorry I wouldn’t consider myself as someone with depression or severe mental health issues so I feel like a fraud even writing this. 

I’m just asking for some help from people I don’t know, and all my free local counselling text services are either closed or too ‘legal’ for me to be comfortable. 

I’m sad. Not all the time, hell I usually have a great time throughout my day. But when everyone’s gone and I’m sitting somewhere by myself, I feel it. I feel the emptiness. I feel like I’m a walking fraud. I feel like I don’t exist in my own life and right around the corner is the truth: that I’m worthless. I don’t mean anything and I’m not good enough to be anything. I usually think of these as just intrusive thoughts that I can shut down if they ever get serious. 

But then suddenly they’re not. Suddenly it’s become clear that a lot of these things do stick. And I don’t know who to talk to.

I have friends but they’re not even remotely prepared to talk to about this. I’m the one who’s supposed to know how to deal with all of this, after all! 

I have a partner, but I just can’t bring myself to tell them right now about how I’m doing. They’ve been struggling with actual meaningful clinically-recognised issues and they’ve been working so hard to make it work! I’ve been there with them through the journey and I’m happy to support them! But I can’t ask the same of them, at least partly because I know they worry that their journey has affected me in some way becauseI never used to be like this.

I’m stuck. And today I actually considered doing things I would never consider. I’m not in any danger and I truthfully think I’m just deluding myself into being depressed or something. Who do I talk to? 

Thanks for reading