This thinking and suspicion of GOOD things plagues me... even, and maybe especially, in relationships that objectively really aren’t so great.
My bf has come and helped me out with a lot of stuff lately. Actually, I should say, he’s basically just done a lot of things for me, as I’ve felt unwell. He does it without me asking, he put furniture together, he did my dishes, etc.
One one hand, I feel terrible and embarrassed for needing help with basic things. On another hand, I feel really loved....I tell him not to do it but he still does. 
But after these two times, I feel really scared. Overwhelmed. I feel the need to secure him, immediately, but I’m also suspicious. I usually ask if there’s someone else. As I feel he must be compensating for something to do all these nice things. 
I didn’t realize I thought this way, I’ve had codependent relationships where we both did too much for each other, almost like transactional...so I didn’t question that. But I’ve hardly done anything like this for him lately.
I sent my bf too many texts after he left, and even though I summarized it with “I just had a really good time with you the last few days, and now I’m scared “ he’s mad, he’s tired of never knowing what I’m feeling when he gets 60 notifications. It sucks when I’m somewhat elated and trying to tell him he’s made me happy, but I guess the mixed messages are too much, I throw every feeling together. They might happen in quick succession, but he can’t follow that , it just looks like a mindfuck I’m sure. As I send texts out while the feelings wash over and change, and it all makes sense to me in the moment.
I’m thinking about how to respect his boundaries around texting, (seems like it only matters when it has to do with feelings), if he doesn’t leave me.


Q: even if it’s good things, is it emotional dumping to constantly share and update ? I don’t have bad intentions..... so when he gets mad it can really crush me .