Everyone thinks I'm annoying or hates me. I ruin everything. I either hurt the people closest to me, or they don't care about me in the first place. I'm literally just unlovable but I can't stand being alone.

I can't do this anymore. I was fine five hours ago. I felt amazing, actually. But of course I feel so much worse afterwards because it's like I forget anything was ever bad in the first place when I feel good.

It's exhausting going from "I love this person and they're amazing and I want to be with them 24/7 because they make the emptiness go away" to "everyone hates me and everyone is going to leave me and I'm going to be alone forever" to "I hate this person because they spent a few hours with one of their other friends without me."

I hate myself for all of this and I'm currently seeing a therapist but I don't know how to get better when I can't make myself believe that I actually can.