First time poster, on anything about this. I have struggled with life for 4 decades. I have horrific PTSD, to the severity that when I start to open up in therapy, to ones who have heard the worst, they can't hold back tears. To have professionals cry when I barely scratch the surface of why I am so broken, it is discouraging. The one person I found that I felt was helping me make progress sadly died.

I have no close friends. None of the people I call family are blood related, and one distant blood relation has a new baby and older twins and I have never used them as a confidant anyway. Because of things that happened to me, it left me broken, but with a unique ability. I can go into any hellish crisis, help others and have even gotten people out of dangerous cults, without anyone getting hurt.

I fight so hard to be there for the few in my life, and the acquaintances I have all view me as their emotional rock, yet I literally have no humans that I can talk to. The past 10 days have been just awful. I feel like I am fading, and no one even sees or hears my cries for not help, just support. I haven't felt this worthless in 15 yrs and I am at a loss. My PTSD caused me to withdraw more and more from life, and now I feel like I am in the dark with no hope of ever finding light again.

I just feel so useless, and I am so tired. I live with 3 people and yet I live in total emotional isolation. I am probably not making sense, I apologize, I just haven't felt this awful for a long time. If just one person could please give me, not advice, but hope, I really need it.

Thank you,.