It took 19 years for me and my parents to find a common level, and for them to tell me that they genuinely loved me and were proud of how far I’ve came. I’ve been on my own since 15 and lost my parents to their addictions before I really got to experience little more than a tear filled hug from my mom and a firm embrace from my father and it burned away from me faster than I had hoped. I’m 23 now, and every birthday and parent holiday feels like the ground fractures around me and I can’t hold myself together. I waited my whole life to feel this emptiness every year and I just want another late phone call asking if I’m okay.