Today has been my first day of therapy, and I’ve opened up a LOT about myself already. I’ve opened up about past traumas, self-harm, clinginess, manipulation, anger issues (some intense), self-hatred, suicide attempts, social-ineptness, black-and-white thinking (hatred towards friends and wishing they’d die if they do me wrong—then forgiving them after they are nice towards me again) and my occasional alcohol drinking. I’ve already asked her about the possibility of me having borderline, and she only said, “it seems like you have signs of it, but I’m not really sure you have it.” I just... don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I have a feeling I’m not just depressed and anxious. I started thinking that maybe I am, in fact, borderline; however, it seems like my thoughts are always invalidated, and I never know what to believe in anymore. I just feel so worthless and unsure of everything at this point. 

Maybe my last therapist was right when she said to me, “I feel like you always think something’s wrong with you.” However, she was also thinking I might’ve been borderline, but never officially diagnosed me herself.

Maybe I’m just fake. Hell, maybe I don’t even have a fully integrative personality.