
I look people in the eye and 
Talk as though I know that people love me But I don’t. 
I laugh and I lean in when I talk. 
I mirror peoples body language and
I’m conscious of how they move 
What they’re saying to me silently. 
I take up more space than necessary to make myself seem like I’m actually there.
Present.

But I’m drifting 

When I feel myself start to disappear,
Unable to focus,
I sit comfortably and confidently.
Make it obvious that I have my life together. 
I look good. 
But when you’re talking to me,
I can’t hear you,
I don’t know what you’re saying. 
I don’t know anything. 
if I’m Real.
if anything about me is Real.
I’m a floating, no name, head in the clouds.