I've struggled with depression for a while since middle school. I've gotten better in the past few years, but now I feel like all the progress I've made has been erased.

Along with depression, I have OCD and PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder). This past month, my father had emergency surgery and was very close to not making it. Since then, he's been getting a lot better with little things here and there that need to be taken care of, but he's still going. Not having him here or not being able to see him much has been weighing heavy on me. And now with the news about Roe v Wade and just general sexism, I feel like my world has crashed.

I feel so empty, there's a huge weight in my chest that makes it feel like I'm drowning. I work in a creative field, but that spark has been gone. I have no motivation to draw, write, or do anything that I once loved. Even reading this morning I felt like I was rushing to finish because it was just draining. If I'm not working, I'm either doomscrolling or playing video games to temporarily stop feeling the way I do.

I don't know what to do to get better. I have a therapist and psychiatrist who have been helpful, but it feels like these feelings just can't go away. I've had thoughts of self harm, but I never acted as I know that's not what my father would want. Everything has just been so hard now and I don't know what to do