Hope it is okay to vent this here, and sorry in advance to readers, it will be very poorly formatted. 

I've been bottling up since about July. I have felt a wedge between my husband and I for a while. He doesnt seem interested in intimacy with me. And I for the most part don't feel in the right mind for it. Our washer broke and the stress from that has flooded into our home. I've been struggling to keep house. But I'm trying. It's been overwhelming since we have to take things to the Laundromat. It doesn't help that we can't spend too much either since my husband INSISTED on purchasing a brand new vehicle (that I didn't even want)for me and so we are tight on funds until we refinance or pay it off. 
I started school and got a job cause I figured that I should help. I am able bodied and willing. But sadly that's put contention between us because who's going to take care of the house. He keeps saying he wants to help but I can't help but feel if he has to he resents it. I'm starting to lose it. I'm between wanting to throw my hands up and refuse to just disappearing from existence. I feel like I'm ruining everything. Either it's me Complicating things or I'm spending too much money. (Groceries are getting more expensive. He prefers I just buy less. If that were possible I would.) I have had it on one hand and I am just angry, because I'm doing the best I can, and doing things his way with a smile because I just want peace. I can't even have that. It's always something new I'm doing wrong. Some spot where I'm falling short. I feel like a piece of crap mom and person. At this point, I just want to disappear. The only people keeping me here are our kids. I can't traumatize them like that and I refuse. 
That doesn't mean I don't feel the void calling. I am scared to become a shell of a person again. I just started regaining my sense of self. I don't want to lose it again.