I am so tired of getting my hopes up. I am so tired of trying to know when is an okay time to bring up my past traumas to my FP/SO so we can tackle any triggers together. I want them to know about me on a deeper level. I want to know them on a deeper level. I’m so tired of going on dates and having to reintroduce myself to so many people. I am so tired of being so picky bc I’m worried something I see in them that was in my ex may make things complicated. I am so tired of trying over and over. Expecting what I expect out of myself of others. I want to be treated like how I treat people. I’m so tired of putting them on a pedestal and getting disappointed when I realize they’re not the person I thought/wanted them to be. I’m so tired of missing parts of my ex and looking for them in other people. I want someone who’s going to challenge me and relate to me like they did. They did so many horrible things yet I overlook it because that was what I was used to. I f*ck everything up with everyone I can vaguely see myself happy with. I am so tired of trying to better myself and feeling like I made no progress. I am so tired of taking it out on people I care about. They shouldn’t have to be my test dummies. I am so tired. 


(I know this sounds like me playing the victim. I don’t always think this way. I am just tired and venting. I would like to know if anyone else feels this way. I feel alone. Idk if these are normal feelings or what)