I can't take medication.

I just don't believe in it. I see a doc because I want to get better, and I have breif moments of motivation to try new meds, but then I get home, take one and all it does it make me angry and agitated and I give up. 

I've seen God knows how many docs over the years and tried a ton of meds, and I just hate the whole system

I am on an antidepressant which I was only able to stick it out on because I was in hospital when I started it. Its helped with severe suicidal depression, panic attacks etc, but I'm still house bound and unable to support myself . So it's only partially helped.

I'm too ashamed to go back and see the doctor cos i didnt follow through with the meds .

Can anyone relate