How strange. I just finished watching Normal People  yesterday before seeing a post on this page (I’ve never visited before) referencing it.

NP tore me to pieces

I had an intense love with someone years ago, and they way the portrayed that kind of intimacy was so beautiful and real
However it made me think again, I don’t process things normally...one minute I’d love and idealise x...then he was the worst person in the world, always terrified he really wanted someone else not me. Even though the love was so real 

Anyway, I related a lot with it. After losing that love I turned to sex without feeling, and in my most recent relationship he’d choke me, and we had non-consensual sex...I just ‘let him’ after meekly saying I didn’t feel like it..let him do what he wanted and felt nothing

After watching NP, I have been so depressed. Realising a) I will probably not ever have that love again 
And b) that my reactions to things are so extreme and over the top

I always seem to interpret things in the absolute worst way possible...under the assumption that of course no one likes me, no matter if my perception means people I have known a while suddenly become awful people. 
Does this sound like BPD?

I have had depression and anxiety since I was about 9, and last year I was diagnosed with Aspergers (autism spectrum disorder).
And it fits for me in that I’ve always felt there’s something wrong with me because I never fit in and can’t connect with people 

But I wonder whether I have BPD. But all I’ve read online almost sounds like it’s so extreme you couldn’t not know. But is there somewhere in the middle? 

Sorry for the long /incoherent post. I’ve never posted before