I'm an uber driver. Excellent at being of service, providing warmth &amp; hospitality, accommodating guests, and being overall friendly &amp; professional. That is, until the passengers try to make small talk by asking me questions about myself. I strongly dislike talking about myself &amp; repeating the same answers to the same boring, intrusive questions. I know people are just being polite &amp; making conversation so I would like some help in how to respond when innocent, polite conversation is the goal. 

For example, when I'm asked, "how are you, how is your day," or something similar, I always resort to my reliable, friendly, professional response, "I'm very well, thank you, and yourself?" But I cannot use this when I'm asked where I'm from, why I moved here, do I like it, etc. I despise these questions. Because I'm just trying to get this person from A to B and do not want to have a conversation about myself &amp; my fucking likes &amp; dislikes. These conversations are forced &amp; inorganic, and mind-numbingly *redundant* 

What would be some reliable go-to responses I can use when I'm asked annoying, intrusive questions which are only meant to be friendly, light conversation starters? 

For now, I've been giving one word answers that satisfy the question, but come off rigid &amp; unfriendly.

Are you from here?
Yes

Do you like it?
(No.) 'Umm.. Sure'

What do you do for fun?
(Nothing. Each day is another day I put suicide off one more time). 'I don't really do much'

See? If I say what I'm actually thinking &amp; feeling, it would be totally inappropriate. If I answer in a neutral way, I come across as standoffish. I think I'd like to get really good at deflecting. Somehow always prompt them to talk about themselves.. 

Oh, and I should mention that I mostly drive tourists who are on vacation and most of the time they want me to be some kind of entertainment for them, which is also super annoying. But I just can't come off as rude &amp; standoffish which is hard because they are celebrating their anniversary &amp; I'm just trying to get through a typical fucking Monday.