So yeah I’ve been lurking for the last 2 weeks and just wanted to say hello really, posted quickly before I decided against it and deleted it :/ 

Roughly 2 weeks ago I got my diagnosis, I went and did some research on BPD, spiralled and convinced myself I was a horrible bad person, then had a few days where I felt numb and just couldn’t understand why I am this way. 

I have recently started new medication to help with the depression and anxiety which like to tag along for the ride and waiting on counselling for the BPD, I’m really anxious about the counselling to be honest, worried I’m going to be judged and looked down on.

My current SO is very supportive and I appreciate everything he does for me, he has his own issues to deal with but he never turns his back on me even when I’m having my difficult moments. I just can’t help feeling really guilty that he has to deal with me the way I am, I actively try and not feed into my heads bullshit but sometimes it gets the better of me. 

Anyway I just wanted to say hello and that you are all awesome :) I love how you are all really supporting and not judgemental (just what I’ve seen from lurking) 


P.s sorry if I have put the wrong flair didn’t know which to put to it.  