I get so wrapped up in the idea that i HAVE to kill myself that I'm honestly surprised when other people tell me not to. I have such a strong desire to tell everyone about how much I want to kill myself, but I don't really know what I get out of it. I think I just want them to kill me? But why would I expect my own friends to want to kill me? Sorry I guess I just want to know if I'm alone here in wanting to tell everyone I know how much I should kill myself. I hope that wasn't too much.