From September a lot of things have occurred and have triggered me to consider either suicide or complete isolation. From family issues and deep bedded personal issues. I have a boyfriend who is extremely supportive but doesn’t always have the energy sometimes to listen to my depressive talks. Which I understand but also get upset about because I don’t usually talk about my feelings often. (Yes I know this is a very toxic quality.) I’ve used those crisis lines to not throw all my baggage on my loved ones but they never seem to help. My  relationship with my parents is a bit distant as well. I can’t really talk to them about how I usually feel. I feel hopeless about my life and feel like most of my friends, significant other, and family will eventually give up on me. So I’ve been seriously considering if it’s better off I’d not be here.