I'm just doing this because someone who commented on my last post asked for updates. I'm currently in the ER in a bed and gown. My babysitter told me I'll be here for a while before they transfer me to a local mental health facility. I spent hours with my roommate driving me around on a wild goose chase to the center I was told to go to on the phone this morning only to find out that they wouldn't treat me there because it was the wrong county. Office hours close at 5, the guy there told me to come to this specific hospital because they have inpatient. I am so tired of repeating myself over and over to different nurses and doctors my story so I should get used to it. It is painful to talk about. Every time I start my story I start crying. I don't need surgery for the other issue as of yet but they called me on my way here telling me to come in for procedure in a few days if it still hurts, again. My mother is camping, my father has been texting with me but texts and calls don't work in this hospital. My sponsor has been great. I met new women in AA today, one of which I already met because she was already on my phone and she didn't remember me even though I called her before. Every time I try to get a sponsor they flake out on me, except the one where -he- lives, and she's been in constant contact with me. Whenever I text or call her I hear back and she always has good things to say. Hopeful things. I wish my brother would talk to me. I wish the man that broke up with me this morning would talk to me but I told him I'm not contacting him anymore until I'm done treatment. He texted me while I was in my AA meeting today saying he's glad I'm getting help. I have a disease and an addiction problem and he broke up with me over it, obfuscation from shame did it. I lied. I don't like lying. Lied by omission. I told the truth a few days later. My friends say he's not worth it if he can't stick by me while I suffer and try to get better. Alcohol is but a symptom of a larger issue. I can and will get better. I'm grateful for hope today. I'll never stop loving him or wanting to be with him, but I'm glad he broke up with me somewhat so I can concentrate on getting better for myself and not anyone else. At the same time, I wish I could hold his hand. I wish he would tell me everything is going to be okay and that we'll be together again once I'm better. But there's just silence. Silence and lots of noise. Noise around me. Clanging and shuffling hospital workers, whatever show is on TV that I have only glanced at once. 
My babysitter's shift is over so now I have a new one. They want to make sure I don't do anything stupid.
Just had my blood drawn, I made a joke about my "anonymous blogging". Blood was being fussy, had to do both arms. I haven't eaten anything today. I told the lady, she's finding me a snack. I'm pretty sure mental health centers don't allow phones or laptops (my phone is plugged into my sleeping, now password protected laptop). I should get a USB adapter. Meh. I suppose it's good I'm doing this now. Thanks to plath for being so consistent with his support. Thanks to all of you for reading and offering yours before. It's good to not feel alone, even though essentially I am, now. It's just like that Azure Ray song "November". So much.