I feel like I’ve lost myself. It’s this weird surreal feeling, like you’re already dead but somehow you’re actually still there. I’m probably going insane. I wonder why I had to be this way. 
I admire ordinary people who are able to have ordinary thoughts. No, I envy them. 
It’s like everything is just so absurd. Where’s meaning? What is the point…. 
There’s no one I can hate more than I hate my own myself.