I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. 
I guess when I meet others, I do kind of have a “script” which I tend to go through, especially when people ask common questions, and it can make it easier to deal with difficult questions when you already have a set out response ready to give. 

But I find when I start feeling really close to someone, that I know a lot about them (or sometimes not) but the connection is there, they will often say they don’t really know me. 

It’s difficult when I feel like to really know who I am, would be incredibly difficult, and probably more so difficult to understand. 

What do I include? What do I not include? Should I give away all the gritty, horrible details of my life and then others will be satisfied...? 

But at the same time, I feel like painting over these events or experiences which have in some way shaped me, makes me more personable and easier to get along with. It’s difficult to be open, about everything. 

I also have a really difficult time with lying. I have lied to every single person I have met about myself apart from those whom I have known since I was a teenager. The rest all get some made up, lie version of myself, and those whom I do tell the truth, I tend to shut them out extremely quickly. 

Just kinda stuck.