I can't  socialized.  I don't  like it.  But i need to. I believe  I'm  dumb in certain things  I'm  not interested in like academics  but not  in music  and  piano  playing. I never excelled  academically.  So I can't  trust myself  to go to college.  I feel suicidal because  I don't  think  I could  survive  learning  specially  when I'm  being  pressured by peers and myself.  Everyone  is improving except  me. Everyone  is getting great while I'm  having  little  progress. I feel terrible.  I still do.