Doing al the things you’re not supposed to do, eating junk, drinking too much, my partner appeared disgusted at how much weed I took and it sent me spiralling. 
I’m a key worker and where I am this means I can volunteer to work even if I’m at risk and I’m actually going to do it because why not. 

I don’t even know why I’m posting, I feel so damaged and like I can’t recover. There’s no one to talk to who understands this, even remotely.