My 18yo son is in a serious relationship with a girl who has BPD, PTSD, anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder (IDK if it's even possible to have all of those, but those are apparently the diagnoses she has received from various doctors).  Needless to say, her illnesses cause numerous problems, but the one I'm concerned about at the moment is that she has such strong insecurity and fear of abandonment that she can't stand to be away from him for more than a few minutes.  The only time they're apart is when he goes to the kitchen to get something to eat or when one of them goes to the bathroom, and sometimes they even do that together.  She won't take a shower without him being in the room.  If he goes to the kitchen to get food and is gone more than a couple minutes, she calls his name and he hurries back to the room.  They live with me because he hasn't been able to get a job because she needs him too much, but I can't afford to keep paying for everything they need (and they'll feel better about themselves if they can start to be self-sufficient anyway), so at least HE needs to get a job (they both should, but she doesn't feel like she can).  She refuses to take medication, and hasn't had positive experiences with therapy of any kind.  All of his friends have stopped hanging out with him because, to use their words, she's manipulative, controlling, toxic, and parasitic, and they feel like she's destroying him.  His entire life revolves around her, and I feel like he's losing his sense of self, and he's always walking on eggshells for fear of saying "the wrong thing" and upsetting her.  Also, when she says irrational things, he goes along with it, and when she is upset with someone for an irrational reason (which happens like flipping a switch), he takes her side and seems like he's totally buying into it, even though I know he knows (at least deep down) that it's irrational.   I know that there are many unhealthy things about their relationship, but for now, I would mostly like some thoughts on either a). how to convince her that she needs medication and/or therapy when she's vehemently opposed to both; or b). how to help her without meds or therapy to be able to give him some space, maybe just half an hour at a time to start with, and gradually increase it until he's able to get a job?