I am gay/bi/pan/whatever. I have always considered myself to be strictly monogamous. I was diagnosed with BPD a month ago.

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I have been seeing a wonderful man since February. He identifies himself as "mostly monogamous"; from what I understand, he doesn't seek out open relationships but is open to the idea of potentially having other people in the bedroom with him and a partner.

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We have been struggling but working hard to find common ground on this issue. I just wanted to ask you all because I understand that BPD can cause dichotomous thinking. I know that many people are just monogamous, regardless of anything else. That's what they want. But I also wonder if this black and white thinking is a result of BPD. The whole "if he wants to sleep with someone else along with me, that means he's not attracted to me, I'm not enough, he doesnt love me" etc. 

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I realize this may be a strange question but, has anyone's views on monogamy in relationships relaxed or changed as they've made progress with their BPD? The guy I'm seeing really is great and has a good heart. I dont think he'd intentionally try and hurt me which is why we are both trying to learn and understand each other. He also knows I have BPD and is really supportive. I just want to make sure we both have what we need.