Tonight I have emotionally broke. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to do it anymore. I have nothing left to live for. This year I have lost my dog after 15 years. She was the only one who loved me completely. She was with me all the nights I cried myself to sleep growing up. She was there with me through all my relationships and my break ups. I've had an incredibly hard time without her. I think that added to the pain of this break up is going to kill me. He was the love of ny life. I've never felt like this towards anyone. Tonight he ended it because it comes down to the wrong timing. I've never gone though a break up with out fighting being the reason....this was just sad with both of us crying and saying how much we care about each other.

I hardly show emotions. I called my brother crying so loud in so much pain he had to leave work. Here I am 30 years old. I am alone. In 15 years I am truly alone. I don't know how to do this. Losing my dog was was excruciating enough and severaly worsened my depression. I can't hold her in cry. The two things in my life that I love more than anything are gone. 

I don't want to life anymore. It hurts so bad. Everything hurts.