I feel invisible and lonely. I have a boyfriend of 11 years who doesn't care about me anymore. He told me that he has his own issues to work on and he doesn't care now about fixing our relationship. His moods influence mine greatly. I usually reflect other people's moods. When he's happy, I give back 200% of happiness and bubbly positivity and energy. When he's in a depressive mode, saying things like "I don't remember the last time I had fun", "everything is going wrong for me lately" etc, I get influenced by him and I get into this dark spiral in which I would like to stop existing and I am imagining him finding me with no life in me anymore

I know that he still cares about me somehow, he is just not able to show this and I have been suffering greatly because of this. The last two years sucked.

I still love him. I would like to go back to those years when we were soooo in love and perfect for each other. I don't think it will happen anymore. It's difficult to let go. He has friends he prefers to spend time with instead of with me. Especially one friend who is heavily depressed and she sucks him in everyday with her dramas, BPD stuff etc. He prefers to spend all evening with her to try and fix her. Because he was busy with her all the time, he also stopped going to the gym and is now complaining about this. I tried talking with him but he replies that "he doesn't want to talk now and want to be left alone". I don't know what to do anymore. This situation is killing me but it's so hard for me to let go, I would have to completely change my life, say goodbye to my friends and maybe move city.