There were a few short times in my life when I thought I was depressed because some of the symptoms were there but boy was I wrong! Now I’ve been diagnosed with clinical depression and the last 7 months have been HELL! What the hell! I wouldn’t wish depression to anyone! This constant feeling of numbness and dread and intrusive, sometimes suicidal thoughts are the worst!
Wish I had been more careful using the word “depressed” and “depression” when I was younger because that was not depression, that was a short period of my life that was bad, now that I know exactly what it feels like, oh it pisses me off I live with it! I hate it when people romanticise it and self diagnose and call themselves depressed because NO, YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE DEPRESSED, ITS NOT FUN, ITS NOT CUTE, it FUCKING SUCKS! 
I just wanna say a big THANK YOU to this community and sub because all of you are amazing people and reading your posts and comments, sharing your stories made me feel less alone in this. People irl that aren’t depressed always say “haha same”, “it will get better”, “do this and that”, “don’t think/feel this” - yeah, like i have a choice! 
It’s just that I’m so tired of this. I’m sending all of you a virtual hug.