I am almost 30 now and I am fed up with my life. I have been depressed for years now. When I was a kid I always used to say living a happy life is my goal but I am failing to achieve that. I have tried lots of things but everything goes like 1 step forward and 10 steps backward. So far I have been picking myself back up whenever I am down but I am tired of it. I feel like the weight of my depression is sinking me. I don't even have anyone for support or just talk to. When I try to talk to someone about this, I get advices like "try new hobbies", "make little changes"(which I tried multiple times and failed), ohh and the "best" advice "channel your feelings into something productive". I know these guys are just trying to help but they cant understand how I am feeling. Sometimes just being there and listening does more good than giving free advices.

Depression doesn't just mean you are sad about something, its like I feel completely numb, devoid of any feelings most of the time. One moment I would be enjoying a movie and next moment I will be having a breakdown with anxiety. There is no particular reason for it. I feel like the thread I am using to pick myself up will break one of these days. I just wanted to vent it out a little bit, thanks for reading.