I cannot believe my life got this bad. No friends, im alone 24/7, I don't go anywhere, am bored 24/7, trying to entertain myself every single day. I have no one to talk to, no one that's puts me first or loves me, not even my own family. I have not a single friend to go out with or take trips with or do things with. And I haven't made any friends in the last 5 years despite getting along with others. I have completely closed myself off and don't bother anymore and let my loneliness eat me away. All I do it work and go uni, that's it. I can't connect with others anymore, I can't stand people anymore and my loneliness has turned me into nothing. 

I'm sick of my parents treating me like a child, I'm sick of working already and I'm sick of studying. I want to join the army in the future, but I doubt I'm strong enough for it. 

I've never dated anyone or had sex and it's not going to happen. No one likes me. No one wants to be friends with me let alone a relationship. NO ONE understands how lonely and alone I am. I sit at home by myself 24/7, trying to keep myself entertained. I go through every single thing alone. I do everything alone. No one calls me or messages me, no one even wishes me happy birthday or happy new year. No one invites me to anything. No one wants me or wants to be around me. 

Everyone around me has something they speak to regularly and sees them. I dont. My whole family can be out with friends, but I'm the one that's stuck at home because I don't have any. I'm always constantly alone. My brother leaves me whenever one of his friends calls. 

I'm done with this peice of shit life. I literally can't understand how it's gotten so bad for me. Loneliness has completely destroyed my mind. It has destroyed every part of myself and I just want out. No one will miss me or care that I'm gone. No one can understand. No one gives a flying fuck about me, im constantly ignored and ditched for others. I dont want to be alone anymore, I just want to fucking end it.