Abandon everyone. You are then abandoned, but in control. Not in a manipulative way, but as a way to let go. 

Move to a different city or state where you know absolutely know no one. Leave your FP and loved ones. You'll convince yourself they will find someone else and abandon you still. But that will soon change.... 

You literally have boundaries of distance that you have no choice but to learn to stay in. You have no choice but to become independent and find yourself. You have no choice but to learn self soothing and other coping mechanisms for all the BPD episodes, especially the intense emotions of missing/wanting someone. 

But you will find out that the ones who truly love you are still there. Everyday. Even when you are far away. You learn people aren't going to go away, even when you move hours away and cant be with them in person for months.

You aren't scared anymore. You are fulfilled and have developed a SELF. Everything is different. You have the intense love and longing for relationships, but they aren't the thing that fulfills you anymore. I don't want to say an accessory to you, but it is just different. You go from feeling empty, to being a solid rock inside. 

I did it. 