I hate how my mood changes. I woke up feeling tired but like I could get a bunch done today, did my makeup and felt great, set boundaries and some people respected them, others not so much. But now my self esteem is low again, I'm just tired and not much motivation. Reminiscing on regrets and how alone I feel even tho I have a few people. Ugh why can't my mood ever just stay up??? This shit is getting really old and I wish it would fucking stop. Why does short periods of time feel so long?? Why do I interpret everything as being hated?? Ive missed 3 days of school and I'm so fucking behind. My dad has covid and isnt doing great my best friends dad has covid and also isn't doing great. I have symptoms but am negative. Scars are fading which is good so I don't get caught but bad bc I like my scars. I want a relationship so fucking bad but I also know I need to take time to figure out who I am and learn to deal with stuff before I am again. I just figured out I'm on the asexual spectrum and idk how I feel about it. I'm exhausted by everything. I wish I was stable even for just a week. I had coffee this morning which means I'm paranoid and hallucinating now. I really need to stop drinking that shit. Oyeee