Im 15. I think im a sociopath. i lie to myself, and others. i don't think there is a real version of myself. My brain works different i think. i am so socially aware that i think i become too aware. its so hard to explain. like for one i dont think i can love. like i just cant. I guess i love my parents, but im not sure. even when im alone with my thoughts, i find that my mind lies to myself. i have to give some background. i used to live in russia, and go to school there. i think that academically and socially i was always behind. but when i came to the US, i was introduced to social cliques. i mean like "popular kids" and "weird kids" and whatnot. and i started seeing them so clearly. and i think thats the moment i became aware of myself. i am aware of how i think. i dont even know if what im saying is true. i always manipulate people, and i do it so well. i do it so well it kind of amazes me. i always think before i say something, but its not in the way that you think. in an arguement, i always anticipate what they say, and then what i could say. its almost like i lead them into a trap. they say that when no one is watching, you are the most real version of yourself. but i doubt that i really am. im just so tired. i would never kill myself because death scares me, and i would never hurt myself, because i hate pain. I also dont fit in with any social class, because i always want to be the one cool kid lol. i dont even know. i could say more, but i doubt anyone will see this. if you do, please write back.