Does anyone ever be around a group of friends or family and can’t handle the anxiety so you isolate yourself. I barely have any friends but my few friends are pot heads and I used to smoke too I just don’t anymore because of anxiety so when they hangout I never go because I don’t smoke and I feel like I don’t fit in and I don’t wanna ruin the mood so I’m slowly losing my only friends by pushing them away. Another scenario is my family they’re all country folk and so am For the most part but growing up I turned towards metal music and playing video games to cope with the abuse I was dealing with and was always a loner and when they get together they only talk about work and vehicles and Im unemployed atm because I’m so unstable and also lack the knowledge of vehicles and such even though I love them I just don’t fit in. We’re on a vacation right now at my dads cabin in the mountains and instead of enjoying myself i just feel so lonely and I’m isolating myself in this camper. I hate myself so much I just wish I could feel normal and not have to put on a fake smile around them. And pretend I know what they’re talking about I just want to not live inside my head all the time. This disorder is killing me. I wish I could just be carefree and happy…