i cant stop thinking. my thoughts r racing. theres so much. i dont want to go outside. im so pathetic. im annoying. no one will have love me. idk who i am. ppl r mad that i cant sleep. theres only 2 extremes: no sleep or way too much sleep. if i get to sleep today i dont want to wake up. 
idc abt school or work anymore. everythings become hard. hard to shower, to get up, to eat, to study. IF i do smth it rather feels like a chore, than fun. this is so draining. i buy games i'll never touch. cant sit through watch anything. music is just skip skip skip. seeing people enjoy life, have friends, or just someone to talk to sucks. i have no one. if i say i hope smth kills me it just gets ignored. a classmate that talks to me shittalks me. why. im just a good for nothing.