I was doing so good mentally for a good minute then I started over working myself (17 hour shifts) and like little sleep and I felt fine then I felt amazing to good and then I realized I’m completely manic and I mean ig I’m proud I could realise it but I hate this anytime stuff starts going good I realize it’s to good to be true I’m having completely intrusive thoughts I’m being impulsive I need to fucking stop none of my friends are really talking about them may be because I’m so stuck up my own butt I don’t realise they have lives too but omg I need help I can’t handle the highs and I’m scared of my next low