When I am in a depressive episode it is horrible. Last depressive episode, I cried almost every day for 3 weeks straight had a depressive episode where I probably should have gone to the hospital but didn’t. But now, I’m out of the depressive episode and I’m feeling good. This week, I am smiling and have energy and life is good. Partially because I have some life changes possibly happening which makes me happy. I even canceled my next appointment with my T because I was feeling so good and needed to go to an interview that night. Here’s the thing though: I know it’s not going to last. I asked my T if she thinks my depression is situational or not and she said I definitely have a depressive disorder. She recommended that other tools would help like meds or DBT groups but honestly when I’m not in an episode, I can’t see the need for it. I feel 100% fine (except for the mild anxiety disorder I also have). But when I’m in an episode, I’m worried for my safety. 

All that being said, does anyone else feel like that? And would meds help/harm (I am someone who is hesitant about meds due to prescription drug abuse in my family)? Or am I just thinking too much about it? Sometimes I think I’m faking it when I’m not in an episode 😩