Hi there.
I just wanted a space to vent something out and this seems like the perfect place for it.
I just had a huge fight with my mother and I told very bad things - like because of the fact that my parents are toxic, I have also become toxic. She was saying she wished she were dead because she always gets mentally abused by both my dad and I to which I told I wish I'll die. :/
The deed is done - I picked up the last straw from the hay stack and I feel very helpless now.
I know for a fact that my parents aren't the best parents or anything - it's just that I don't like living with them because they bring the utter worst side of mine and I sit in my room and contemplate why was I even born in the first place.
Already Covid is affecting my mental health so bad - recently a guy rejected me and I'm not doing anything to make myself feel better (or even if I do, it all goes bad)
I'm at this stage where I feel like if I die, I will be better off like that - I don't feel suicidal at all but I know for a fact that I'm done living - done being a nuisance to all my family and friends.
I'm sorry for taking it all out here - I wouldn't want to talk about this to anyone I know, hence doing it here.