I know this will get looked over like most of the stuff here but I need to vent or rant or whatever you wanna call it. Every day I wake up just feeling "uuugggghhh" I have no job. I receive disability from my time in the air force. I have no friends besides a small discord group. all I do is sit around all day either watching TV or just being depressed. I get no joy from anything anymore. Hobby's just seem a waste to me. Video games just piss me off anymore. I thought about skateboarding again it's been years but even that just seems "meh".  I just feel disappointed every day. With everything.  I see another human being and I feel so much anger and rage. I wanna do terrible things to people that upset me but I can't because I don't wanna go to jail  so I just suffer.  I barely eat. Everything just tastes bland and gross. No matter where or what I eat. I can't finish any dish without wanting to puke from how shitty everything tastes. I just want this all to stop. I wanna kill myself but I know it will make my family sad. The only thing I sorta care about is my cat and he's a weeny. I just feel like I'm going insane. I feel like I'm constantly getting fucked over with everything. I'm always getting treated like shit. But I'm not going to get into that. None cares nor wants to hear about it. None of this matters. 100 years from now who will give a shit? No body. I'm tired of hearing the same shit. That people care. It's fake. It's just to get people to shut up for a while. I can't take it anymore. The time is creeping up on me. I feel it and I don't think I wanna stop it