so I recently had a suicide attempt and me and him were up on the phone because he wanted to keep an eye on me. I think I was going through a manic episode or something and he asked me to explain what was going on in my head and to explain bpd to him because he didn’t understand it. I suck at explaining stuff and especially in the state I was in and all of my thoughts were racing. For some context, he has a girlfriend and he is my ex. We dated before I was diagnosed and recently started talking again. He tells me he loves me and stuff that I obviously love hearing but i know it’s wrong because he has someone. We broke up because he was going through a lot with family and didn’t have time to be there for me, but there wasn’t anything wrong with the relationship and it was actually pretty happy.  Anyways, he asked me to explain what was going on with me and I was telling him how I’m trying to get past him because I don’t want to ruin his relationship. It’s not that I don’t want to be with him because I’d do anything to be with him, but I want his happiness more than my own so I just deal with him being with her. I told him how I feel about him and how bpd effects it. I’m bad at explaining things in general but especially when I have to explain what’s going on in my head I just can’t. I told him about how I loved him but he was reading about bpd online while I was talking and he came across some article that said something along the lines of “people with bpd can’t actually love someone they just become obsessed until they find someone else to obsess over”. It hurt me because he actually believed that and I know what I feel and it’s different. I tried explaining that I know the difference between me actually, genuinely being in love with him and just “obsessing over him because mental illness”. He said he kind of believes me but he kind of doesn’t. Idk how to explain stuff and he always takes things out of context so it just makes things a million times harder. Idk what to do because I know in my heart that I actually do love him and it’s different from when I was with other people. I just don’t know how to tell him without him misunderstanding.