Im not suicidal nor do I have diagnosed depression but im just tired of life and everything sure from time to time I fell happy but when im alone I feel nothing im good at nothing I just worthless like why am I here what do I do I have up on trueing I gave up on faith im just done with life and my family im 14 and im feeling like a old man I struggle to get up even thought I sleep for 7 hours everyday is the same my family is torn apart and it’s like im being used I rarely feel any love for anyone and I despise my family but I still love them im only 14 and im sick of life im just annoyed I fell empty sad all of my freinds talk to girls and get girls while I don’t im like the mini outcast I just want to live a normal life and be a good person im not even that bad of a person I just want to give up on life but I can’t because of my religion and im having personal doubt about my religion im struggling to even prey I lost all my drive and hope most people are happy living with there family and loving fun lives getting gifts from there parent’s while my family is struggling to provide we’re broke we’re not even Middle class were poor im addicted to porn as that’s the only love I get and now my parents want to start loving me more now that the family is being torn apart and my dad is even worse now that he hates my older brother and barely likes my older sisters he now wants to start love ing and caring for me after all the abuse he did for me i live with 7 siblings I’m the 5 oldest and what I hate is the mental abuse they put me threw and the physical they all used to fat shame me and bully me even it was so bad that I was suicidal at the age of 8-11 it was so bad even the youngest picked up on it she’s 6 right now and everything I tell my parent they tell me to man up and stop composing and when I get into a fight I’ll be wrong and get beaten one time I told my dad everything and he called me a liar I’m just done with life I wanna be gone from the face of the earth