i will start dating someone and dive in full speed (eg meeting their entire family after 2 weeks of dating, or flying to new york to visit someone after spending 2 days together). i feel like i’m put on a pedestal and i get really uncomfortable when they express strong feelings for me, but at the same time i change my entire routine to spend all of my time with them and ignore all of my friends. i then isolate, ignore all messages, and spend all of my time alone until i can feel myself coming back to me. i try to communicate that it’s not their fault and i need space to process alone, but i know and feel guilty that it still causes them hurt and confusion. i give reassurance that i don’t really believe because i get super irritated by tiny things like chewing or showing affection. i almost start to hate them. i don’t want to end things but i also don’t want to see them. i can tell that part of
me still cares about them but i can’t find a way to access it. i’m having a hard time understanding this pattern and why i switch so instantly and dramatically. does anyone have this experience or have any advice in regards to working through irrational irritability?