For therapy I make like 5 or more options/ways to get myself help and then it's like mentally you think your busy and you're just so overwhelmed and stuck. 

I guess it makes sense kind of because trying to heal in an abusive environment is REALLY difficult. (I live with emotional n verbally abusive family). 

To make matters even more complicated, I got referred to emergency uni accom.. so now there's that to worry about. 

Before I had simplicity. Out of the hospital, I didn't create many options i think. After experiencing more torture, abuse breakdowns, the whole lot I think they fked me up even more. 

Now I just want someone to decide for me. I feel more comfort when someone just tells me what to do. One person. I know that's not a good thing. I have to learn to make my own decisions for myself but hell I'm struggling af. 

I can like pick a meal or between two things, objects items. But this therapy/life thing is really stuffing me up

I have bpd as well so idk if its that.