It feels like whatever I do and wherever I go I can't escape this mental anguish. Sometimes I need to think for a really long time about why I even bother to stay alive, which is depressing when I see people talking about how much they value life and how happy they are every day, even for the small things. I just wish I could give my extra life to these people instead, and just cease to exist myself. It seems to get harder and harder every year.