Man this is rough. I wish I could just wake up with enthusiasm and joy and smile. I put in so much effort into self improvement but I'm still depressed. I know comparison is the thief of joy, but I watch many of my peers put in little to no effort and find peace and happiness and love. To be honest, I wish I had a companion but I don't think I'll find one anytime soon. 

Tried booking a therapist through a company my insurance provides but I've had two cancelations after waiting two weeks. It's so frustrating!  I just want help so I can LIVE LIFE.  FUCK