I don’t want to bring down the mood, but I don’t really know where else I can talk about this. I’ve been pretty dark place the past few days. I’m flat broke again in a job that pays nothing and a half. My credit card is maxed out, and my account is overdrawn. I don’t get paid until next week, and even when that happens, that’s all going to go towards my bills and getting out of this hole that I’ve dug for myself. I can’t even afford to get to work; my manager had to call an Uber for me to get there on time because my transit pass is empty and I couldn’t even get a day pass. I walked the 2.5 miles to get here this morning. I’m at work and I feel like I want to cry, but the tears aren’t coming, and even if they could I have to keep a happy face because I work in retail. And I can’t even find a different job that would have any more security or make me any happier. Out of all of the job applications I’ve done over the past couple of weeks, the only ones that have gotten in touch turned out to be scams (thankfully I caught on before they got too much information out of me). I feel like I’m doomed to constantly work in jobs that don’t pay enough and don’t make me happy. I’m so tired of feeling like an NPC in my own life. I honestly don’t feel like a human at this point, I’m just a robot here to say “hi, how can I help you” while I feel dead inside. I don’t feel like I’m going to be happy again any time soon, and I’m worried that it’s only going to get worse in the short term. I’d like to think it can get better soon, but I’m having a hard time really believing that. I have no one to blame but myself for this situation, and it’s just another example of why I’m a failure and a disappointment. Now I just need to brace for the afternoon rush and try not to cry until I walk home after we close.