I’m in college right now, and all was okay but now I’m crashing . My mental health health bad and I’ve been lacking . Midterms came out and I’ve realized I’m failing . I ended up taking my sleeping pills with booze and ended in the ER being discharged the next day bc “ my heart rate was just up bc I’m bipolar (I’m also bipolar)

 Then next day I see I’m failing - I fuck up
I cut my arm up and drank and was in psychosis for a while and I can’t remember much 

My doctor weeks ago suggested PHP( before this ) and I’m scared to see him now 
I can’t do PHP bc of school

What do I do ?🥺