Symptoms:

left ear clogging
post nasal drip 
right side of head tension headaches 
neck pains
seeing blue/ black dot flashes and black shadows in the corner of eyes (not how u normally see them if u try to, like thinking there’s actually something in the corner of my eyes)
pain when i move my eyes all the way to the left and down or vice versa 
hearing slipping noises? might just be a coincidence 
forgetting how to spell words
blurry vision
dimmed/ darkened vision 
sensitivity to hot water which is unusual for me and not fully feeling cold water (when i get in the shower warm water feels hot and cold water feels warm)
head feels hot but no fever 
seeing red and blue dots in the dark (might be the anemia)
walking somewhere and not knowing what i’m doing or going out for a millisecond 
forgetting some words 
brain fog 
not knowing how to put sentences together when talking to someone
talking to myself when i’m home alone
not recognizing myself in the mirror 
feeling numb
feeling disconnected from reality/ my body 
not feeling present 
having trouble sleeping 
getting randomly delirious 
cravings for junk food 
letting my body go on autopilot just so it can do what it needs to do (not feeling fully in control of body)
forgetting things 
existential thoughts that lead to full on panic attacks (actually been happening for about 3 or 4 years now, was put on Zoloft but wasn’t right for me so got off and they’re just happening again now)
itchiness (feels like bugs crawling on me but that happens often)
low self esteem
all over the place (multitasking for no reason if that makes sense)
having this mouth sensation where everything feels smooth and even if i pick on my cheeks it feels smooth again (i excessively pick on the inner skin of my cheeks to the point where they’d bleed and id always feel rough patches of skin but i literally don’t feel anything anymore no matter how much i pick at them)
ALWAYS TIRED

What I already have:

B trait Thalassemia (mediterranean anemia)

Actual diagnosed anxiety (why I was put on the Zoloft) 


Why i think i’m having these problems: *I HAVE A THERAPIST AND I SEE HER ONCE A WEEK*

•possibly loneliness, summer just started and I have nobody to hang out with truthfully but i feel like a loser now because of it, all of my friends treated me like absolute dogshit and I had to cut them off…all of my cousins have friends and it makes me so upset because i want what they have so bad i never had solid friends or a friend group and i’m just fucking 17 

•I need love like I need a boyfriend I need some kind of affection and support…something better than something temporary like a hookup or just flirting 

•Spending large chunk of day on phone, exposed to phone light at night of course (symptoms still occur when i’m out all day though)

•just started drinking coffee again

•messed up my sleep schedule because i just finished school this Monday (going to sleep at around 6 or 7 and waking up at 3 or 4 but i had sleep issues before that too)

•Health anxiety starting on June 5th when I had breathing issues (NOT PANIC ATTACKS) (got chest scan and everything is fine) which were then determined as a sinus infection which i had to take antibiotics for but stopped using after 3 days because i had a little bit of an allergic reaction (rash, itchiness)

•Health anxiety led to anxiously (obviously) looking up my symptoms on google, convincing myself i have a brain tumor, schizophrenia or a blood clot in my lungs, paying attention to my breathing and heart rate every single second of the day, looking at my veins every 5 minutes, asking my family members if i look okay, paying attention to every microscopic ailment i develop (scratch on leg, pimple, etc.) my breathing distracting me so much that it keeps me from falling asleep, psyching myself out thinking I have an actual issue therefore making the stress worse.

•Haven’t had a full blown panic attack since maybe the end of last year but I definitely have negative premonitions and A LOT of time anxiety (looking at every minute that goes by on the clock, setting a timer on my phone to see if an actual minute passed, in denial when i see 5 mins passed when it actually felt like 2 or 3)

What i’m doing to reduce these thoughts/symptoms:


Basically just distracting myself, drawing, reading, writing (technically what i’m doing now?), listening to my favorite music, talking to family, going downstairs to my grandmas apt to hang out with her and her friend who comes over regularly, hanging out with cousins, going to my dads house, going for long ass walks to/ around manhattan (i’m in NYC area obv so i’ll walk across a bridge and go into soho or chinatown), going shopping, watching my favorite shows, youtubers or movies, eating my favorite foods (had Japanese on Tuesday night with my sister and Dad) organizing/ cleaning my room, looking at old pictures whether it be photo albums, just random photo booth pics and the like that i find in my room or pics on my phone, and playing with my bird and cat. 

•I’m going to the gym for the first time starting tomorrow as they have a free summer teen program which i’m pretty nervous but very excited about so hopefully that gives me even more of a distraction, i also want to lose weight before school starts in sept. or for the summer. 

•I have an internship starting the 10th and it involves a lot of fashion design and research so also looking forward to that. 

•Going on vacation to bahamas with dads side for a few days in August &amp; a lot of cousin/ family friend sleepovers in between.




If any of you have distraction suggestions or advice i’m open to literally anything. if you read everything thank you so much, i know many many people feel the exact same way i do….