Whenever my life is about to head into a good direction, I subconsciously more or less start self sabotaging. It’s never on purpose and I never realize it, yet it’s been years of this pattern. I’m about to be 23 and I could be almost done with my associates degree but I’m in a stalemate with doing my coursework and my depression has gotten ahead of me. I know I just need to do the work, but it’s like there’s always something happening and piling on top of another thing and it’s a snowball that’s rolled into an ice boulder which keeps building. 

I just want to succeed but how can I succeed if i keep letting myself down?