Picture a dam, it has a reservoir on one side and there is a village on the other side. Normally when the reservoir has too much water the dam opens and lets some of the water out so that the dam doesn't break and the village stays safe. But my dam is broken, I don't have the energy or the will to fix it, it takes so much energy to fix the damage done to the village by the constant flow of anxiety, depression and self hatred that I don't have enough energy left to fix the dam. I know that fixing the dam is the obvious solution and thats what everyone keeps telling me to do, but I don't know how, I am seeking help but the dam keeps breaking almost as soon as I start to make some progress. I don't know what to do.