Hi. I have a high school concert in 2 days, and I have a solo. The only thing standing between success and I is my really bad anxiety. For context, I’m off meds because they enhanced my depression, and I have a slew of disorders. However, anxiety has been among the most debilitating. I notice that when I sing in front of people, I shake violently. It’s physical, way more than mental. My hands go completely numb and have pins and needles, and start turning blue. I’ve tried desensitization by singing to my boyfriend (it was really difficult) but I’ve also done this in the past. It’s a lifelong thing that isn’t able to be coached away. I’ve been in therapy for years, I’ve been in plays, but it gets worse all the time. Is there anything I can do? While this is common in social situations, I often mask it and then have a full breakdown later. Even if I still break down after the performance, I’d like to get through it first. I just need to shake less so I can have an easier time and not have my body turn numb. I’m sorry this is so long; I’m not quite skilled at articulating my thoughts.
Please no typical “live in the moment” or “stop being worried about what people think” advice because this is a physical problem.