I've been diagnosed for years. Went through phases of being medicated, unmedicated, medicated but not taking them regularly enough to be helpful, drug use, sobriety, you name it.

And quite frankly, I'm fucking tired of living with this disorder.

I'm doing EVERYTHING I can to manage this. I'm only 22, however I feel like I've missed out on very important parts of life.

Ironically, I'm left grieving over the new development in my management; Sleep hygeine and Social Rhythms (routine.)

I'm the kind of person who likes to go to bars until the sun comes up, get 2 hours of sleep, then go to work. And so are ALL of my friends. From my understanding, this is just typical for those in my age range. "Sowing our wild oats" or something like that.

Ultimately, I know that routine and a balanced circadian rhythm will do wonders for my mental health. At the same time though, it just fucking sucks. I made plans with a friend at 7pm to hang out, and explicitly told him that I needed to be in bed at 10:30. He was driving at the time, and I assumed that he was just going to pick me up on his way home.

And you know what he did? He went home and took a fucking nap. It is now 9:30, when I take my 8 pills every night, and I'm just now hearing back from him.

Part of me wants to tear him a new one. I feel like I've been fucked over. But, I'm working on my anger issues as well. So I just informed him, in the nicest way possible, about why this is so important.

This just isn't fair.