got home at 5, fell to floor, burst into tears, got mad at cat consoling me, felt bad for mad at cat, ran into closet, lights off, screamed as hard as i could 10 times then stopped cause what if neighbors, sat and cried for 2 solid hours, ativan kicked in. 

now i’m on here. tried twitter, too much for right now. support on here. validation. feeling hopeful. still in closet. laughed at a reply. smiled at a meme. coming around. getting hungry. i can eat it’s okay now. eat. ready to watch tv.

the turnaround is exhausting and insane. i feel like so out of body when this happens..

panic attacks fucking hurt . like physically and emotionally i am in actual pain everywhere and i’m so tired of this shit..