I went out with a friend for sushi and it was all fun but she seemed very distant. We were meeting for the first time even though we've been online friends for months. She still seems to be distant because she doesn't really reply to me. And when she does, I take it the wrong way because I'm programmed to. -.-

I think something's going on but she won't tell me. 

Another friend only replies when I text him first. And even then it's very brief responses.

My parents are fighting amongst themselves and I'm just alone. I invited them to dinner, my treat. I didn't even get a fucking response. 

I did something cool in a video game and my first thought was "oh I *have* to tell someone about this!" But... I don't even have anyone to tell. 

I work graveyards and sleep very long time. 

I haven't been compliant with my meds and now I've been catching myself actively planning on hurting myself. 

But I have *no one* to tell.

I just... I just want a friend. A best friend who won't judge me and actually has interest in my life. Someone I can go see and spend hours with that isn't distant. Someone... That doesn't want me to die.

I don't even know why I wrote this. I just have to tell *someone*. I'm so alone. 