I'm glad my brain isn't dying anymore. But I feel nothing anymore, not really. Occasionally frustration or bursts of anger. I laugh with my friends and tell jokes like I always have but it feels hollow. I feel nothing. I miss feeling like I was the king of the world, like I had everything figured out, like I could fist fight a lion. Nearly mania'd my way into a promotion. Now I'm unemployed.

&amp;#x200B;

I wake up, stay up till 6am and go back to sleep and do it all again. I go for walks once in a blue moon but mostly I do nothing. I don't have the energy to do anything. Except being angry I guess.

&amp;#x200B;

I know it's bad to miss it, I hurt people, I made people uncomfortable but I felt like a god.