So on top of my depression and over all emptiness the girl I loved and have been with for over two years I just found out has been cheating on me with another guy WHO ON FUCKING TIP OF IT ALL I AM BETTER THEN IN EVERY FUCKING POSSIBLE WAY I SONT FUCKING GET IT. And I just can’t even put into words how I feel I feel so much hate and I’m just filled with thoughts of taking my anger out on someone and hurting someone just cause it’s like no matter fucking what I do it is never enough I workout to feel better about myself still hate myself I take care of my skin still have pimples makes me feel even worse at times make money it’s never enough and I hate every job the things that do make me feel better only last for tiny bits before it goes away and I go back to feeling the same as usual I have no idea what to do and at times I’m scared I’m going to snap and really hurt myself more then I’ve done before because I’ve cut myself or hurt someone else this time really badly and go to fucking jail the rest of my life but it feels like the only thing that would make me feel better I’ve already tried therapy and hated it and I don’t really want to take medication I have no idea what to do I think of suicide at times but I’m to much of a fucking pussy and terrified of death but at the same time my life really isn’t any better I’m in my own personal hell with what seems to be no escape