Since I saw them earlier today, I miss them even more now even though they were horrible to me. They are straight up abusive and a liar and were damaging me when I was already vulnerable to begin with. It's been a year since I had last seen them in person, and I just saw them working at grocery store today. I had moved to an entirely new city in hopes I wouldn't see them again. I had the person I came in with go n pay for our stuff by themselves because there were no other registers open or self check out. I literally just avoided them completely but it hurts so much and now I'm really mentally crushed. I don't even know if they noticed me but now I wonder if they still think about what they did, or if they have changed, if they recognized me... 

... It's just like the minute I see an ex fp, my emotions spiral out of control no matter how much progress I think I make in order to move on. I just feel like sobbing because I don't know how to move on properly I guess.