I wrote a huge post out explaining why, and just deleted it.

My family hate me and the only reason anyone would be sad if I died is out of pure obligation.

No, that's not just me, these people remind me on a regular basis of what a shit they think I am (even though I am a good person who left my job to look after my ailing parents, but I haven't the energy to write my life story here right now)

I just went to buy food and had to leave my groceries because I hadn't the money to pay for it. I haven't paid rent in 2 months (I live at home, but rent is expected) and I have 'borrowed' about £100 this month to pay bills and buy food.

I'm awaiting Carer's Allowance, but until that comes through I have zero money and am being treated like I am a layabout bum without a job who never does a day's work. This is the first time I've ever "voluntarily" been without employment in almost 16 years. 

I hate myself, I hate the cramped room I have to LIVE in because I'm not allowed to scatter my things around the house like everyone else, I hate the fact I am so fucking poor all the time, I hate how humiliated I feel having to borrow money, I hate that I can't go on holiday, or to the movies, or buy new clothes, or even fucking food half the time without begging or borrowing. (I got debt advice, no good)

I'm just done. I can't do it any more. It's a daily, uphill struggle on an icy hill. I just slide back down and get burned.

I'm so tired. In this house, even a simple 'what would you like for dinner?' will turn into an explosive argument. Every word uttered is taken out of context and will turn into an explosive argument.

I am done. Life has truly fucked me in the ass and I can't handle it any more, it is tearing me apart and I can't keep 'pushing through it' to my happy little manic moments which I enjoy so, so much.