I've been less avoidant than usual these past few weeks, and honestly I just feel like what's happening is what I've always thought would happen: that the stress that always lingers in the back is now just front and center, and I don't get any payoff for getting things over with because it still takes a long time for me to come down from it. 

To be more specific, I can't negotiate with my supervisor because even if someone tells me how to start the conversation, they don't tell me how to respond to any rebuttals and so I still back down so easily. (I agreed to come to the office instead of telecommuting, to spell it out even more.) But earlier this week I genuinely felt like I couldn't sustain a conversation because I didn't have the mental capacity to register (beyond a shallow level) what that conversation was.