So me (f21) and my boyfriend (m30) have been together for almost ten months and lately whenever he acts weird, jokes with me or just does anything that’s not lovey dovey or giving me attention I immediately breakdown and I don’t know what to do anymore. 

I started taking my medication again, I’m working hard to give him space because I know time apart can be good but with my work schedule it’s hard to be near him all the time. And the mother of his child is around a lot, which is understandable considering that is his daughter. I know he hates her or whatever but, there’s always this fear in the back of my head that he’s gonna leave me. I just don’t know what to do, I have no reason in the universe to believe he’s cheating on me, or hates me or anything but I just overreact and I don’t wanna scare him away. He knows I gave bpd and doesn’t judge me for it, he just wants me to calm down and not take everything as the end of the world, which I understand. 

I’m just tired of myself, we have a good relationship I just fuck everything up I feel like. This is my first actually good, and serious relationship and I think I’m just scared of it so I just wanna freak out. I guess this is more of a venting post but I just want advice on how to actually calm down and plus just to get all of this out. I can’t talk to anybody about this stuff irl and it’s easier online. Thanks for reading, I know it’s a mess and it’s late at night for me