I'm a mom (32f) of 2 beautiful little toddlers and an amazing partner (36m). We have so many laughs and beautiful moments together as a family. We're like a grunge, goth nerdy family and it's all I ever wanted. Im a hairstylist and makeup artist and i also work in the filn industry. It was the career of my dreams. The downside is we are severely low income. We're behind on rent, I have to call and beg the phone service not to shut off every 3 days, I have to ask to borrow money for babysitters pay, groceries and other payments. Most of my friends don't even answer my calls anymore. My family always tells me the good old tale of "it'll get better." I've heard that since I was 14. My partner recently got a great job and we have been catching up on debt but then someone crashed into our car and took off ans we never got their info and all the debt we had managed to catch up on came right back as if it never left. I wasn't able to put my kids in summer activities like I wanted to, I wasn't able to buy new clothes for my growing son, and I cant even throw him a nice 2nd birthday in a few weeks. I know I can just do some DIY stuff and budget friendly activities but I have no budget. Every cent we make goes automatically to bills. I tried go fund mes but no one donates, and I feel horrible because I don't wanna ask for help. It's the worse feeling as a mom asking and begging. I feel like I'm failing. I honestly can't take it anymore. So I'm looking to sign up for life insurance, do what I can and just end it. So at least the check goes to my family and they'll be taken care of. My kids are too young to really understand and I think they'll move on easier without me. I don't have much to offer to the world anymore so it's an easy choice. I tried it before and was successful but was brought back. I thought maybe a second chance would be better. But no. Yes, I have beautiful babies and a great man. But I can't take care of them the way I would like. I can't buy my daughter new toys or books and I can buy my son new clothes or shoes. I can't help my partner with our bills and I know he's over stressed. He tries to hide it but I just know it's killing him too. The more I think about ending it, the more at peace I feel. They'll be better off and they'll have much better lives. I just know it.