Hey guys 

I feel trapped. That word perfectly describes how I feel right now. No matter where I turn I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve always been the negative one in my friendship group but I always brushed it off with “I’m just a realist” or “I’m just telling it how it is” 

I’ve always had a low self esteem which mostly stems from a really bad skin condition that I have, that I wasn’t as smart or athletic as my siblings and that I’m just someone people don’t want to be around. But this crippling depression where I can’t even pretend to be happy and even have a grasp on what I’m doing with my life feels like it just came out of nowhere. One day I was a functioning pessimist and then I was wasting my days staring at my ceiling wondering where the day went.

I have no motivation to better myself, I have no idea what I want to do with my life and I don’t have the time to even figure it out since I’m not in the best financial position to take a break and have a clean slate, I don’t even know why I’m typing this since I m just going to go back to shit circus that’s my life.

I’m 24, never worked a day in my life, have no passion to even search for a job, left college and will be homeless if I don’t get my shit together so yeah I guess my title sums up my life right now