Last year, I had a husband, a dog and a home. All of those things are gone now and I miss the little family I had. 

I never felt this alone and hopeless before. I failed all my exams after he left. Practically no friends anymore. And I hate myself for ending up here, it feels deserved. I feel unwanted. I feel like I wasted my chance at life and now it's too late. It's noon and I'm in bed drinking wine. I know it's technically just a day but in my head it's such a big deal, having a birthday just highlights my loneliness and besides, I'm supposed to be an adult now. I really have no right to be this helpless and useless anymore, but I don't know how to break free. 

Is it even possible to heal from all the deep wounds at this point while simultaneously building up a new life from scratch? How can I even begin to try when I feel so worthless? I don't know where to find purpose or hope now. I don't know where to look, or if I have the right to a good life anymore. The world gave me so much all these years and I couldn't give anything in return. I could really use some advice. I'm ashamed of doing so bad at this age. Honestly thought I'd never live this long.