Last year i thought things were going well with my fp. we bonded and became very close, understood each other, and were intimate. I fell in love and told them my feelings. They said “we will see where it goes” and down the road kissed me and we were sexually active. I became infatuated.


I unfortunately hit a rough patch with depression and i struggled to manage my BPD symptoms on top of it. I feel this ended up scaring them off/stressing them out (esp after i got out of the hospital for suicidal ideation). 

They stopped reaching out, seeing me less, and were generally less responsive. When we did meetup again, they started talking nonstop about their new crush. My heart felt like it was stabbed by a thousand daggers. I felt like my BPD and bipolar disorder scared them away once they found out. 

I watched them fall in love with their now BF in front of my eyes.

Now they hardly respond and there is an obvious distance between us. IDK why its taking me this long to get over but some days i just turn everything inward and hate myself for this disorder, i feel like no one will ever want to fall in love with me, and im doing my absolute best to recover 💔