Went on a weekend getaway with my friends and it was great, I had a great time, not until sunday evening tho. We decided to hangout at a friend's house before we part ways and for some reason my mood was starting to go south. I was trying to process the whole time but I still can't seem to pinpoint why. The frustration I felt resulted to a full on breakdown like I was legit bawling my eyes out, and naturally my friends got worried, so i felt kinda bad that the whole vibe of the night was ruined bc of me. They said it was fine tho and that they understand. 

Anywaaay, I think the breakdown has something to do with the anxiety I've been suppressing for quite a while already? I haven't been anxious the past two weeks and I think I'm dissociating? Idk it just doesn't feel right to not feel my anxiety?? But at the same time it's exhausting to feel it?? Honestly, I'm just rambling rn bc I still haven't processed the whole thing but yeah hopefully there's someone who experienced the same thing too