Recently, my boyfriend of 1.5 years has expressed to me that he can't discuss or imagine a future until he "feels more confident" about the issues in our relationship. His biggest issue is that I can be really negative towards him. It's mostly just getting visibly frustrated or annoyed at dumb things, picking fights when I could say things nicely. Occasionally it's a meltdown out of nowhere.

I am well aware this is an issue. I've been putting in a lot of effort over the past year in therapy, getting on antidepressants, working actively to change how I handle things. I've clued him in on the entire process. But the reality is this is always going to be somewhat of an issue, so his comments feel like an attack on my personality. I feel like I'm getting pre-broken up with, and that I'm being put in the impossible position of entirely fixing my brain or losing my love. (FYI I'm 30 with ADHD, depression and anxiety).

It makes me feel frustrated and helpless with myself, but also kind of mad at him? If he knows my anger comes from my anxiety and I'm trying my best, why can't he look past that and not take things personally? I'm sure there's a way to meet in the middle but I feel like everything's on me. Like I'm the only one creating issues. But if I'm really that much of a monster then why is he bothering dating me anyway?

Looking for advice, commiserating, or general support. I'm a bit out of sorts at the moment.