TW: suicide, mention of drugs 

So, I was in relationship with this girl some time ago. We both had BPD, but for me being with her felt perfect.

After two weeks of being in relationship she broke up with me because, quote, "I was too boring for her", as she was into drugs and drinking a lot, while I'm never doing things like that. I was hurt, really really hurt because I totally fell in love with her. But I cut all contact with her after that, I didn't even try to fight.

I knew she was suicidal but she had close friends, who were always there for her. I knew she was in hospital after suicide attempt once, a long time before we met. But when we broke up I thought she would be okay, she had psychiatrist appointment very soon.

Yesterday my other friend informed me that she's dead, she probably killed herself with all meds she had. I still can't believe it, I feel like dissociating or falling all the time. I can't even cry or feel anything. I just feel so empty.

Sorry for the rant, and also I apologize for all mistakes, English is not my first language.