Started the day fine. Took my meds and all. Then drove to work and started to think about things that have gone wrong in my life right now. As I continue the day it just feels more and more like I am the problem in my life and marriage. Maybe it is me on why my wife doesn't snuggle, rarely kisses me, etc. Maybe it's because I complain that I do all the work in the house. Then at lunch I look at my bank account and then see that it too is in the negative. No money for gas, etc. At least we have food in the house. Gotta look at the positives, but can only think of the negatives that has made this whole week go downhill. Not to mention how th VA sucks. I have had so many break downs, episodes, etc; but can't get to see my therapist for who knows how long. I'm on the wait-list. Then to make matters worse I feel like maybe this is how it is going to be. Broke all the time and never a dime to my name. Still waiting to hear about the job I put in for. However last time I applied for a promotion I was told I had to wait 5 years to be an expert in my field before they consider me. Yet others get promoted before me. Unfair treatment at a State job sucks. I dread going home as I have to put on this happy fake face for my family so they don't see how bad things are. I just don't feel like pretending anymore. I need a break, but can't afford that either. It is what it is. I guess.