I don't know what's wrong, like why can't I enjoy anything? It feels like I've experienced everything there is even though I know that's not true. It just feel like there is nothing left to do. I hate the idea of working and can't stay in one job long. Nothing interests me so its hard to "find a hobby".

It's frustrating that I simply "don't want to do anything". I'll spend days in my room laying in bed because I have nothing to do. I'm 23 and feel pathetic because I'm unemployed, broke, living at home, and have no friends or relationship and no desire to do anything.

I'm taking medication and in therapy and nothing is working. I've been like this most my life, sort of just on the outside like I don't belong. I'm not sure what to do. My family notices my loneliness and depression but always tell me to just try harder to be normal.

I guess right now I'm just numb to everything and I'm trying to figure out how to be normal but its so hard. I often think about just killing myself because I'm never going to be able to be normal without all these thoughts and issues. 

I want a friend. A life where I'm happy waking up. A job I actually like. A purpose.