I would like to start by apologizing for the formatting of this post, I am really in a terrible headspace and I cannot think clearly enough to format. I honestly feel as though I am losing my mind. I am in this horrible depressive state and it feels as though nothing can pull me out of it. I am about 90% certain that my FP/SO is still not over her ex, all of my coworkers despise me, and I am failing all of my  Uni classes. I have reached a state where I am completely numb except for the occasional feelings of extreme depression and rage. I feel like I am just a hollowed out husk of a human being. I am so paranoid that my SO is cheating on me with her ex that I am terrified of sleep because that's all my dreams are about. I feel so crazy because I've gone through her phone and read her text messages with her ex and she's only friendly, nothing more, however she knows that it greatly upsets me when she talks to him yet she still does it. Then when I'm at work, my coworkers just act so rude towards me and say bad things about me behind my back even though I make the strongest effort I possibly can to be nice to them. My chest feels like a bottomless pit where no happiness can possibly shine. I feel as though I am at a critical state and I am just going to fucking explode at any moment. My only place that I feel safe and secure is at the gym, which honestly at this point I am only using as an alternative to harming myself. I have lost all of my motivation and I no longer even feel human. I just want it to stop. For the love of god someone please help me make it stop.