I have a feeling one of these is getting hit today, hopefully I’ll use my hands and not my head.

Scheduled an alarm for first thing in morning to contact my GP, couldn’t get hold of them again, they suggested I could make an appointment for another doctor and that so does not appeal, I barely have any rapport with this one as it is. I felt both angry and disappointed that even something so simple can’t go right, I hung up the phone and then got slightly teary. 

I’m not too emotional but I’m emotional enough that while this is nothing compared to my lows this might be the hardest day I’ll have since I had to self admit into hospital over getting too close to doing it. First time my eyes watered in a month too.