I have been struggling with depression for most of my life. It’s taken so much from me. I always failed in school. I’ve sabotaged several relationships and jobs. This past year has been the hardest of them all. My partner of 7 years cheated on me and left me for one of my friends, my sister moved away, my parents’ disabilities keep getting worse. I can’t work, I can’t sleep, I can’t take care of myself or my dog. Every day I feel like my sanity is hanging on by a thread and I don’t really want to be here anymore. Every day I think about just ending it all. I come up with different ways to do it. I truly don’t feel like it would impact anyone’s life that much if I left… everyone would move on eventually and continue to live happy lives. I just feel so alone and unwanted by the world. I’m honestly considering checking myself into a mental hospital but idk if I could afford it financially. I want to lean on my friends but I feel like all I ever do is talk about how miserable I am and it’s not fair to them. They have their own shit to worry about, ya know? I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t feel like a whole person… like something vitally important is missing and I’ll never find it. I feel so stuck and don’t know how to change. I just want someone to hold me and tell me it’s all going to be okay. Nothing feels okay and I don’t think it’s going to get better.