FTL;DR I can't.

So... for the first time since I had my 1st born 6yrs ago, my mental health is a fucking mess and I can't control it.

I was diagnosed with bpd 10 yrs ago. My life always was a fucken battle and likeany of you, knowing was part of healing. When I met my SO, he helped me in my journey. We planned our son and when he came, I knew I needed to be strong. 

And I was.

But the pandemic. And everything else. 

Couple months ago, I had enough so I called my MD to get help. Because that's what mother's do. They reach out when they need help. 

And they get better.

I tried. I swear I tried. Again and again and again. The medication helped for a bit. It calmed the anxiety. 

But for the past month, and for some reason tonight especially. 

I can't.