So I have struggled with varying forms of mental health problems since I was a child. I had a developmental disorder which meant I went through puberty as a very young child. The doctor said I would have behavioural problems but instead I was angry all my life and hated myself. I've had eating disorders, anxiety, rage and self harm since then. 7 years ago I was diagnosed with bpd because I had impulsive behaviours, extreme emotions and I fit the profile but had alot if friends because I was the life and soul of party and no one knew how much I struggled. I now have kids and don't fit that profile anymore, been diagnosed with anxiety, depression and ocd. Put on lamictal like I was with bpd diagnosis and massively helping. I still feel empty and just so lost. Something  is wrong with me and I don't know what. I don't fit profile of bpd anymore I don't think. I have alot of friends but easily withdraw but don't have black or white thinking in that but in my marriage I definitely do. I often feeling like I'm pushing down emotions and I feel like an empty vessel. I don't disassociate from myself like I used to but still don't know who I am sometimes and what I want. I feel anxiety and depression and sadness all thr time.  I'm not getting the right help because no one knows what's wrong with me. I feel like a freak. Does anyone relate?