So my panic attacks got very bad at the beginning of 2020 and the whole pandemic obviously didn't help. I began to be terrified of every social interaction even if it was someone that I already knew and was familiar with. I would find reasons to run away from the conversation. Time went on and I went through several job promotions. I was required to meet with managers and you can already imagine how anxious I was about having panic attacks.

Flash forward to now. I just had a meeting with a manager tonight but now I am on 10mg Lexapro. On top of STILL being afraid of having a panic attack - I felt like I sounded like a complete idiot. My brain is always on autopilot now so trying to think of anything interesting to say was very difficult. Is this normal? I feel like there is no winning. I'm either a panic ridden human being or whatever the heck I am feeling right now.. which is me not feeling motivated, I'm always tired, and I just feel so fucking boring.