29 year old male. I have never been diagnosed with Depression (or any mental illness officially) but my mental well being isn't always where it should be. I refuse to go to a Therapist or Psychologist, since the root of my depression is not something which can be changed with a new perspective or thought process. I expect some replies of ''but your perspective could be changed'' etc - I appreciate your compassion, but this is my own personal decision.

Any ways, I still work very hard on my own terms to improve my mental well being: Mindfulness meditation on a daily basis, good diet and exercise, good sleep hygiene, journaling, reading about mental illness and the inner workings of the mind, and asking the wonderful people of Reddit for advice when it's needed.

Which brings me to my problem. I am seriously struggling to find motivation... but not to do arduous manual tasks, instead **I'm struggling to find motivation to do the things I like.  Sorting out bills, performing in my job, going to the gym is actually something I find the motivation to do. But the things I like - listening to music, reading, watching TV Series - is where I'm struggling to find the motivation.**

My theory is that when I'm working on stuff like my job, manual tasks, household chores, and the gym etc, there is actual a focus on self-improvement. Whereas when it comes to doing things I like.... there is no self-improvement component, instead I have to just live in the moment and reality. I'm obviously not comfortable with my 'reality', therefore I struggle to motivate myself.  

For example, I know I would like to watch something on Netflix or maybe read something interesting on Reddit - but instead I lie on the couch and procrastinate on my phone - not even looking at anything in particular, in fact one of my habits is compulsive social media stalking on FB/Instagram of people I don't even know, and I also have a strange habit of compulsively googling names of people in my hometown who were involved in crime to see if there are any recent updates about them.

I know what it is all about, - I'm trying to avoid the dullness/emptiness I will feel if I do just do the things I like - therefore this endless procrastination instead is a defence mechanism.

Therefore ultimately my conclusion is that this behavior is a defence mechanism from having to deal with actual full on depression.

***But I want a solution, and quite frankly I need a solution.*** What I have been trying recently are ''actionable baby steps''. What this means is actively doing one small action to stop procrastination, registering it, performing one more small action, registering it, and so on. For e.g. 'I am going to close the phone app, I have closed down the phone app, I am now going to turn on the TV, I have closed down the TV'.  I understand the effectiveness but it hasn't really worked for me so far as much as I would have hoped. But I understand I need to give it more time.

I'm looking for any further suggestions on how I can overcome this rut.  Thank you in advance.