I'm 18 (FTM transgender), and I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, ADHD, general anxiety disorder, social phobia, and PTSD.

I've had suicidal thoughts for about 6 years. I've had 3 attempts. I'm seriously considering attempting again.

I have no friends, and my family has openly told me that I'd just be a burden on them if I tried to open up to them about my mental illness. I live at home with the family that adopted me when I was 15. I don't have a working phone so I can't call the suicide hotline.

I have a kitten here at home but my legal guardian might get rid of him if I go to the mental hospital because my family doesn't want to take care of him. My sister's friend might be able to help, or my grandmother. But I don't want to burden them or traumatize my baby boy.

I don't know what I should do. I can call 911 on my old phone if it gets too bad. I'm considered cutting myself again or overdosing again, this time taking precautions as to not be saved again.

I've asked for advice in r/advice on my main account, but I thought I could post one last cry for help on a throwaway account. I don't have friends to live for, my family doesn't particularly care: In my last attempt, they told me that I obviously don't love them enough to stay alive, so after that, I've stopped going to them about my mental health. I don't go to school or work. I'm not part of any club, activity, volunteer group, nothing. I spend all my days sitting at home and trying to make up the courage to finally do it.

I don't know if I should call the police on myself for my own safety. My family might hate me if I do because I'd be disturbing what little peace we have in this house. They'll hate me if I kill myself or try again. All options lead to despair.

I've been considering putting myself in a long-term mental health facility, so maybe I can get back on my feet and into the world. But maybe I'm just seeking attention and a way out of this house. I don't know what to do anymore.