I'm back where I started again 
It seems like happiness is only ever temporary 
I hate it I feel so alone again 
And numb and empty when I'm not like that I'm crying 
It's not easy at all 
I don't know how to fix it I've tried my whole life 
I hate it 
I hate that I tried dating twice to cure my loneliness and to find someone who loves me like I never could love myself 
And both times I've been replaced 
They couldn't think of me as more than a friend for long 
I mean they both later 3-8 months both ended the same we are still distant friends but I'm alone again 
I know what people are gonna respond with 
"Love yourself" "find ways to make you happy" "it will get better you're still young" ect 
But I don't really care no one even really knows me because everyone that does always leaves my life one way or another much too quickly 
I don't like being back in this pit 
It feels like I will never really get away 
No motivation for anything 
Nothing makes me happy 
Nothing feels right 
No one feels real 
I feel so alone because I am alone 
I hope it doesn't last forever