Tw vomiting/nausea

Hi, I am 21 F and a manger of a cafe in Aus. I am currently really struggling with my anxiety resurfacing over the past few weeks(I struggled a lot with it when I was 15/16, dropped from school for 6months but managed to get past it slowly and get back and finish school). 

Fast forward to now, I moved out with my partner nearly 2 years ago, and was promoted to manager at the cafe about 1 yr ago. However I am truely not coping with the stress and anxiety of going to work anymore. Work has been a nightmare with things going wrong that have stressed me out but these things have since been resolved and yet I am sitting here with my head in the toilet bowl becuase of the sheer anxiety causing me to vomit. I have nothing to worry about, the workplace and my venue manager are so understanding and have sat with me while I have battled panic attacks and depressive episodes. The support for me is there - I just cannot bring myself to go.

Every work morning is the same, waking up before my alarm with immense pressure in my chest. I try and keep calm but I just can’t. I have seen a doctor and found out that I was mega low in vitamin D and Iron, so am on a low dose of anti/anxiety/depressants and vitamins. 

Outside of work - I am loving spending time with my partner and doing things that aren’t work related. I have had a few panic attacks but I think they may have been related to work/overthinking/worry.

I am really struggling with whether I can do this job, or, even if I should. I strive to do the best I can especially at work, I began to put work in front of everything and would be constantly exhausted, stressed and not happy while working. Everyone is telling me they think I can do it (and deep down I know I can too) but I don’t know if I should. I don’t know if the unintentional pressure from everyone telling me I can do it is just cloudning my judgement. I don’t know why I can’t make this decision for myself becuase I think I know what I need to do, but there are so many factors (like money) that make me stay. 

As I stated , I’ve just started these antidepressants and am wondering if I should just stick it out and keep trying every morning to go until I can or am I just putting myself through so much anxiety and stress for something I rarely enjoy doing anymore and will end up quitting anyway. 

I’m not really looking for someone to tell me what to do, But if anyone has any advice or has been in a similar situation with work: how did you overcome it, and/or did it get any better? 

Thanks for reading.