I feel like I missed a developmental stage.

I always feel extremely uncomfortable and flustered when asked what I want I want to do, or eat, or listen to. Even when I really want to just say something, anything, because I know it's annoying to hear "whatever you want to do is good with me" all of the time, I think of all the reasons why I shouldn't say it and I just get so nervous, I can't. It's absolutely ridiculous but I hate taking the lead. I only want to do what they want. When pressured to make a decision, even just about what music to play, my heart  starts racing and I become totally flustered and as much as I am ashamed of this, I simply refuse to make a decision. I have hobbies and likes and dislikes like everyone else but I keep them to myself. I have learned from experience to not impose them on others. 

 I recently started dating someone and at for a while he was okay to take the lead, but now I think he is getting very tired of my inability to make even minor decisions. He usually plays his own music in the car, but only because he knows I refuse to choose it. Lately he is trying hard I think to get me out my shell, so to speak. He asked me to a pick a song to play. When I got flustered and couldn't do it, he asked me to pick a genre. I wanted badly to just pick one but I couldn't. Finally he had to do it. He has been trying to get me to make decisions about dates, too, and I'm completely useless.

I realize that this is actually quite selfish of me, and that I'm essentially asking him, and everyone else I engage with, to shoulder the very same responsibility I refuse to,

I'm in therapy and addressing this but progress is so so slow and there are so many more pressing issues to address.

Even at 23, I still have ask my mother for permission to do anything. I am still in college, but back at home due to COVID/summer break, and I am not allowed to do much of anything without asking her. I am basically expected to be on call for her 24/7. She forced me to quit my job recently because I was working too many hours and the people there were a bad influence. She forbids me from drinking alcohol and hanging out with most people my age. She even tells me how to dress, and converse. After conversations with other people, she always tells me I should not talk about that, or cannot talk about this, or should have talked about this. She orders me around all the time and I am expected to drop everything and do whatever she wants if she requests it, even if I am with others.

Do any of you have any wisdom or advice?

Thank you. Eternally. I'm going to drive everyone insane. Including myself.