Can't stand it. Happiness comes so naturally to them. Even if its not their entire life, the moments they have are ones I will never have. For example, no one will ever find me attractive, or lovable, or cherished. These are experiences that follow trends. People with good lives tend to lead good lives later on. Good experienced beget good starting from birth. I have had no good since birth, so I can't have these things they take for granted and universal unless I have some natural talent. I have the opposite of talent. I'm bpd and autistic.  I am socially repulsive. 

Never going to feel better or not be alone. Never. I'm deleting Facebook again. Dont give me that nonsense talk about social media being fake. Even a curated life has to have some actual good moments to curate into something that appears totally good.

I'm an adult and I've never held anyone, loved anyone, been close to anyone, so I never will like I likely will never fluently speak a second language even though I have tried. I'm past the potential for that. My life is already ruined and over by me being born broken and never given the chance that virtually all children have to improve in some sense. I was just isolated more as I got older and more isolated. Its a feedback loop. Now I can't socialize with anyone or speak at all without obviously being very mentally ill. I don't even feel human anymore.