I tried setting boundaries with someone who has BPD, twice today and it didn’t work out either times. I wanted to a third time but i was too scared. 

EDIT: I’ve posted about this person before and you guys helped a lot. Again, i hope no one thinks i’m trying to bash the BPD community or that i’m ignorant, i just think it’s helpful getting insight from ppl who *might* understand her better than i do. 

The first situation: Today, she found out my bff is going to be my coworker soon and was complaining about how it’s not fair my bff gets to work with me and she doesn’t.

i told her that it doesn’t matter whether she works me or my bff works me because i don’t want to see ANY of my friends everyday or even once a week because i’m someone who likes to be alone. 

she started making excuses like “oh but we need to see each other everyday or else something would be wrong” &amp;“i’m an exception you like me the best”. But i squashed those ideas nicely because it’s not the truth. 

She started screaming and yelling at me calling me garbage etc... and tbh i can’t even remember what happened because i learned to zone out while she yells. 

+

Second situation: later today, i was helping her with homework and she was sitting SO close it was impossible for me to type. I told her to move over and even moved my own chair but it didn’t work. She moved closer and told me she didn’t care if i couldn’t type..... it was weird and awkward, especially because my mom was there. She made it seem like we were having some romantic connection, even though i was trying to do her homework.

Third time: She was being insanely rude to my sibling. He was asking her about her hobby and she would either lie or be sarcastic &amp; of course because my sibling doesn’t know anything about this topic he believed her. She kept talking to him like an idiot and belittling him. i wanted to tell her to stop but that would’ve led to another yelling session in front of my family. 

my only opinions on today were that MAYBE she thought i was trying to leave? i know she has abandonment issues related to her BPD (she told me that, so if this is wrong information i’m sorry)... so maybe it triggered some emotion for her?

In the past, i let all her bad behaviours go because i never wanted to hurt her feelings but you guys really helped the last time and let me know it was okay to be assertive. 

I’m wondering what i could do the next time she doesn’t respect my space, family and time? Are there any words i can use to soften the blow? Any mechanism i can use to calm her down?