**DISCLAIMER:** i am not arm chair diagnosing him, i want advice if it were the case that he COULD have BPD and more insight as to how to handle this its already a possible diagnosis. I did extensive research for a few months reading professional journals and articles regarding BPD after hearing his rough diagnosis from his family doctor who brushed his condition off as to having anger issues. Also, only after analyzing our situation so much for this long did I even begin to ONLY EVEN think of the POSSIBILITY he could have it. Once again, not asking for a diagnosis, just asking how to handle this if there's a good possibility he does. As in letting him figure out if he really does on his own or like i guess fighting for him to make sure he gets the help he needs

Ive seen the good in him and I genuinely believe that the chances are slim that he will get the help he needs in order to be the best version of himself without me there. His family is old school and dont really prioritize mental health like that. However, they did take him to his family doctor after one of my ex's rages and just within one appointment he was told he has anger issues and was prescribed meds. My ex still refused to take those meds and is against seeking any more help or therapy.

I was the one who was usually always fixing fights with him even when he was being ridiculously irrational. When he would calm down it was like night and day and he would acknowledge every single bad thing he did but the cycle would just repeat again. However, i did see progress but it took a lot out of me to see the little we did.

He would acknowledge how I was always there and how i fought sm for us and how he'll always appreciate it, but he broke things off this time saying he wants a break and hopes i can forgive him for his mistakes over a span of a few years alone and maybe we can even bring up marriage then, instead of up just stepping up and acknowledging the mistake he had made at that time. Idk if he was trying to manipulate me by scaring me with leaving (which he told me once he'd do with his ex) and trying to get me to be "easier on him" because he knew id never leave him but also because i didnt let his bad behaviour slide in the past, so this was like his way of having power? The reason i say this is because i didnt agree to being on a "break" bc i felt like i was being used and set on the side with our issues and i said how i wont be with him ever again on these terms.

and immediately after he responded really coldly "fine, dont be with me" and thats when he started to paint me black and blame me for the downfall of our relationship. Said how i shouldve been easier on him if he was all i had. How i lost my "soulmate" etc. The way he talked about my actions made it sound so convincing that if i hadnt had my own memories or text receipts, etc, i wouldve believed him and thought i did have issues like he said i did. Even in his responses hed say things like "only if you begged for forgiveness and told me how much i meant to u, I would've came running back". I know hes better than this ive seen it with my own eyes and thats the part that hurts the most

How can he permanently paint me black if I had proved like insane over our 2 years together that I loved him unconditionally (he would say that himself) and would never abandon him (which is a fear many people with BPD have under the notion he is diagnosed with it). However, the more i reflect the more i think about how i couldve been enabling his bad behaviour by showing him I will always stick by his side? They say if you love something, let it go, so is me going no contact the best approach at any chance he gets better one day and grows from all of this because it shows he pushed away the very person that stuck by him no mattter what? I know i did everything I could and tbh my urgent need to be with him and make it all better makes me wonder if I have codependency issues :(