For the past year I've been working from the comfort of my home. It's probably made my anxiety a lot worse since I can go days without leaving my house if I want to... but damn is it mentally comfortable to have a safe space like that. My company is getting together in person this Thursday and Friday and I'm so anxious about it. 

My company is about 30 people and I know pretty much everyone to some degree, but wouldn't say I'm close with anyone since I don't see them in person. Thursday will be an organized in-person work day where we'll have meetings and probably some sort of work-shop. I'm not  *as* anxious for that because there will at least be some structure.

What  *iis* keeping me awake at night is the fact that a lot of us are going out to dinner Thursday night. And on Friday my boss is hosting a party for us all. I just want to cry... I'm not ready to face two days of painfully awkward social interactions and making myself look like an idiot. Every aspect of it: showing up, always having to find someone to make conversation with, pretending to have a good time.... I'm so anxious about it all.  I don't know how to act like a normal person.

I guess this is just a vent bc I don't know what else to say or what I'm asking for. Just needed to get this out there.