So, as many of you have problem experienced yourselves, I get emotionally attached very quickly. I’m doing a course and met a guy who I immediately connected with. We started hanging out a lot and we get along really well and can sit and talk for ages and we understand each other. He picked up on my BPD and is really supportive about it. He understands me and some of the behaviours I do and offers support with them. I’m a lot better than I was a year ago and have been able to control some of my behaviours but things have started growing with him and I’m trying really hard not to do typical behaviours I usually do in situations like this. 

I then got emotionally attached after hanging out with him at his house and I accidentally slept the night. I thought I was going really really well it compared to how I usually am as I left his the next day and didn’t want to stay longer and didn’t feel the need to immediately text him all the time. All seemed well but over the past 3 weeks, I’ve started to struggle. We aren’t dating, we’re not committed or anything, it’s more of basically a casual relationship. We’re friends but we do stuff and lately I’ve noticed that what we do is basically a relationship. Neither of us want to commit though and in my opinion, this guy has had bad relationships in the past and it’s tainted his view on them. 

I constantly try not to text him or call him 24/7 or constantly ask to see him but it’s really hard for me. Usually in these relationships, I always text then when they don’t reply, I freak out and keep texting or calling and I usually always ask to see them or stay the night. It’s getting really hard though and I always miss him and wanna see him. He often takes a very long time to reply to texts ranging from 2 hours to 24 hours and then I start getting depressed and anxious and I always try to wait for him to text me first instead of always being the one to start the conversation but I get inpatient and end up doing it. 

I also don’t even know if this is healthy for someone like me as I’m starting to get really really strong feelings and he seems to be sending mixed signals. He’ll say he has feelings and then the next day he’ll say he doesn’t know what they are or he just doesn’t know, period. Then sometimes when I’m with him, he gets clingy and just wants to cuddle or he’ll start saying i’m beautiful or cute or just casually says ‘i love you’ and I don’t know if he’s saying it as a friend or doesn’t know he’s doing or just, yeah I don’t know. Then on text, he’s distant and weird. 

Part of me just wants to wait and see what happens because I do tend to rush into things and get clingy straight away and then 2 weeks later, they leave because I’m clingy and attached too quickly and just annoyed them and now that I know my behaviours and what I do wrong, I’m basically trying to practice NOT doing that because I know the behaviours aren’t healthy and can’t act that way for the rest of my life in relationships. 

Does anyone have advice 😩