So I’m a 22 yo woman who has never been in a relationship, not even in kindergarten. I have been good enough for sex, but never good enough for love. And it’s embarrassing to say that it’s the number one reason that gives me anxiety attacks. That idea that no one has ever wanted be.

But I realized something not so long ago, the older I get, the more it mean my first relationship will be “serious”. 
I don’t know if you see what I mean but, that means I’ll never get to experience, young innocent, clumsy love. Wearing the same thing, just telling you friends about it, doing “teenager things together”. 
Most women date older men and I realized if a date for exemple a 26yo, he’s getting closer to his thirties, he will maybe want us to live together, do adult activities more than teen activities because he had that already, he’s grown and over it. He’ll maybe talk to me about settling down etc… He’ll be like “let’s be adults together” when I never even got a chance to be a teenager with someone. I realized because I never got to date young, I don’t have dating maturity, I’ll have to just jump into adulthood love life without never having that teenage love, ever. 

It breaks my heart. It really really breaks me down in tears.