i’m sorry for posting a lot, but i’m so confused.

I read somewhere that BPD sufferers can feel like ‘something is inherently wrong with them’; like that’s a symptom. okay... but i have BPD, which is something inherently wrong with me. so it’s actually the truth? how is knowing the truth about an illness a symptom of having the illness? 

it’s like a self fulfilling prophecy disorder. knowing i’m bad makes me worse. i can’t love myself because i’m sick and twisted. the only way to not be sick is to love myself?!

what am i supposed to do? i’m a bad person and it’s not my fault because i’m unwell but it also is my fault because nobody decides how i behave except me.

i’m so confused by all this.