Just a heads up, this is going to be a very self-pitying post but I have to put my thoughts somewhere other than the notes app for once. 

Like the title says, I’m so tired. I’m tired of being sad and wanting to not exist all the time. I’m tired of not being able to find love even though I have so much of it to give. I’m tired of feeling inadequate in almost every aspect of my life. 

There was a brief period of time a little bit ago where I thought the woman I love loved me back in the same way, and it was the first time in forever where I actually felt relatively confident and happy. Obviously things didn’t work out, and I don’t blame her at all considering she can’t control how she feel either, but man do I just feel like there’s nothing to look forward to anymore. Just knowing that there’s nothing I can do to make her love me is enough to send me further into a depressive spiral every time I think about it. 

There’s other stuff that gets me too obviously, but this is the main thing bothering me right now. Anyway, if you’re reading this I hope you’re all relatively well and doing okay.