I really don’t think I’ve ever been more done with life than I am now. Everything feels so helpless and I really don’t know where to turn or even if I want to anymore. I’ve been locked in my house for days now. Im crashing down after months and months of being high, paranoid and I dont even know who I am anymore. I’m facing crushing debt and the reality of what I’ve been doing and I’m embarrassed and ashamed and mortified. I don’t see any light- just how my life will always be cycles of mania and depression and how my beautiful children get caught up in it all. I’m coming out of this high pregnant and alone. I’m struggling to see any point in continuing.