i just want someone to hug me and tell me that she loves me. I just want to be loved. I cant take this anymore. Im just 17, im drug addicted, depressed and i have a failed suicide attempt. My familly background is full of mental ilness and drugs. God if you exist, please help me, i dont want to hurt my mom by killing myself but its so hard. There are so many thougts in my mind but they dont have words. I hate myself. Why is the only thing im capable of is drinking and smoking? i hope i get cancer so i dont have to kill myself and my body just does it.  I hate me. I hate me. I just want to be loved. Help