Just got home from therapy. It didn't feel useful or productive. Therapist basically told me there is not much more she can do for me besides suggest I keep myself busy and for me to get more information on ECT therapy. I miss my old life before I moved. I wish I could go back. I miss my cats I had to leave behind. I miss being in a non-ghetto safe neighborhood. I miss being around people I can really talk to on an intellectual level. I hate being where I'm at and I'm stuck here for the foreseeable future and I can't have pets. I feel so hopeless and my life is going nowhere. I'm so tired of fighting and taking meds that fail to work. I'm just broken and no one can fix me. I feel so lonely and empty even when I'm with people. I won't be able to see my partner for the next two weeks and that's the ONLY thing I look forward to and right now I don't even have that. I'm just a codependent mess. I can't even get myself to play video games or watch anything, i'm just sitting here crying like a big baby. 