So I live in the a dorm my dorm is pretty shitty and it's like with all the athletes and stuff so it's like kinda loud already so when I have anxiety attacks I just let it out because everyone else around me were shouting at the top of my lungs. And the girls next me are mokong the sound I make when I hyperventilate because of my panic attacks. I just feel like shit like my anxiety was right I am nothing but the but of the joke. I feel like in elementary school when kids would make fun of me and I had no friends just reliving my childhood truama. I feel like crap I never talked to these girls and  I feel like my anxiety and mental illness isn't valid. If it's just a butt of a joke. And like I feel like I should have been more calm because people mainly get made fun of for things they have controll of atleast in my mind. I just fucking hate being alive right now. And I had one of the worst days of my life yesterday. And like I was never rude to these girls and never reported them for shit for getting drunk and waking me up every night. And knowing them ill probably hear them make fun of me till 4am.