I somewhat self-diagnosed with BPD before I got any help. Codependency was a given in both my current and past relationships, but I figured the intense feelings of love to hatred and not caring about anything other than my boyfriend and being with him was more or less "normal." Figured I was just depressed and codependent. As my current relationship progressed, though, I questioned my feelings more and started researching my symptoms and found BPD, and I fit the minimum criteria. 

I saw my current psychologist who I'm still seeing first, and she diagnosed me with CPTSD. Asked her about BPD and she sorta said there's a spectrum of CPTSD to BPD and she prefers to diagnose CPTSD because then it's other people who caused this, not a problem innate in me. 

I then saw a shitty psychiatrist I was driving 2 hours each way to see, because he was supposed to be good, and was diagnosed with BPD (with comorbid depression) by him. I didn't think he was shitty that first session, just a bit cold. But the second session left me crying in their bathroom for a half hour. 

I decided to not see him again and have a new psychiatrist now. I didn't write off his diagnosis just because I dislike his personality, though, and pushed my psychologist about it at my next session. I'd like for all my symptoms to be because things were done to me and not because of a personality disorder, but I'd prefer the truth to just believing that if it's not the truth. My psychologist stuck to her guns, and mentioned how her patients that "truly" have BPD she felt like she had to walk on eggshells around to not anger them, and that was a constant in their lives with other relationships they had. She also harped on the lack of identity trait of BPD. I have neither of those traits. This left me feeling really conflicted. 

I've only seen my current psychiatrist once, and haven't pushed questions about BPD, basically just said "I have conflicting diagnoses about CPTSD or BPD, and I have depression." She told me she was considering some rare type of bipolar where, when it starts when you're a kid, it's possible to never have a manic episode. So now I have even more conflicting diagnoses. 

I realize this is verging on breaking rule 4, but I know no one here can diagnose me, certainly not any better than multiple professionals. I'm just seeking some support from others who feel similarly about needing a label to identify with and research and understand. My boyfriend couldn't care less what I'm diagnosed with and thinks I shouldn't care so much, which I don't really understand coming from someone who clings very hard to his Asperger's diagnosis and who went through many, many psychologists and wrong diagnoses as a child to get that diagnosis. 

Also would love to hear from anyone out there diagnosed or who suspects they have BPD but don't experience dissociation or a lack of identity. The lack of identity especially seems to be a hallmark of BPD in this subreddit and I just don't relate at all. My depression keeps me from doing the things I love, but I never forget who I am and what I enjoy.