So I've been looking into and applying for positions as a daycare teacher assistant, as I've always loved being around kids. Plus I'm hoping to eventually study to be a recreational therapist and to work with autistic children.

The thing is, I'm both physically and mentally ill. I recently stopped taking my PPI for GERD because I was told it isn't healthy to keep taking it, and I plan to talk to my GI Dr about getting an endoscopy when I see her next week. So now that I'm off that medicine, my GERD is even worse. I honestly don't know how I dealt with it before learning I had GERD...

In anycase, the symptoms are ready bad today, and I was supposed to go to work. My job is to hand out food or other product samples to customers in a store. I was freaking out though and had a bit of a panic attack, leading me to call out.

Now I don't call out as often as I did in previous jobs since this one is way less stressful and my managers are super understanding. But I'm starting to think that I can't work a proper job. I know my physical health plays a part in it, but I think I'm mostly worried by my mental health affecting my work.

I've been thinking that maybe I should start looking into remote work. Learn graphic design and use my drawing tablet for that. It'd probably help me with wanting to eventually start doing webcomics.

But I don't really want to give up on working with kids. I'm not sure what's best....

The anxiety and depression has been getting harder to deal with. Part of the reason is probably cause of my shitty family constantly bringing me down. And as I don't have a quick way out of this situation, I feel like I'm going to keep spiraling.