I used to be very very spiritual and didn't know I was bipolar. I used to fully believe that the universe had to balance my life, like a rollercoaster. I would have times where everything was going amazing and I was so happy. That was the top of the rollercoaster, but I knew that the universe had to balance it and eventually it would drop and I wouldn't be able to do anything. I wouldn't necessarily be sad, but I would sleep all the time, have no energy, loss of activity, and just do nothing but snack all the time and watch TV. I didn't want to see friends or go out and do anything. It got to the point as I got older that during these times, I would cry myself to sleep every night and felt so lonely. I fully believed this was the universe and everyone's lives where like this! I don't know how I didn't know! I'm 26 now and these cycles have been since I was in middle school. No one suggested bipolar until after I had my second baby and had postpartum depression with suicidal ideation and plans. I was terrified and immediately got help from my doctor and told them everything. They hooked me up with a therapist and psychologist and my therapist was the first person (after seeing therapists since I started college) who suggested bipolar. My psychiatrist immediately put me on lamotragine. It was magic. I have never felt better in my life, I've never felt more stable. It's not perfect, I still go through cycles (especially depression and mixed) and I'm not *officially* diagnosed but it's amazing. I'm up to 150 mg now and I still might need another med with it. We've tried several but none have worked so far, but even if I stay like this it feels like a miracle.