So I flipped at my boyfriend and my friend (who is a girl). 

We've met her like 3 times. I like her a lot, she's funny and intelligent and I felt like we could really become best friends. 

But ever since the first day I met her at a party, she was all over my boyfriend. She knew that we were in a relationship and she tried to respect it. But I could tell she was very interested in him. She gave him a lot of compliments, followed him around and talked to him all night, she even touched him on his chest and arms when she was talking to him. 

I tried to not bother. I know I'm jealous and insecure. And I try to trust him. He didn't realize she was flirting with him.

The second time we met her was the same. She was all over him. The third time the same thing. And at that point it really felt like they were the ones in a relationship rather than me and him. And that's when I spoke up to both of them at the party. In a calm way I told them both that this is making me very uncomfortable.  My boyfriend still, didn't know, that she was flirting with him. So he got mad at me for being insecure and jealous. And that's when I flipped.

We had a huge fight and I ran away home. He stayed with her. And I felt like he was perhaps falling in love with her. In front of my eyes. 

We met up a few hours later and argued even more. The whole evening/night was a mess. She tried to explain that she wasn't interested in him but.. I could see that she was. 

He told me the same. And it took many hours of me talking to him to realize that he actually wasn't interested in her. He was just oblivious to the fact that she was clearly flirting with him. He thought she was just being friendly. 

Me and my boyfriend ended up solving our issue. I listened to him and he listened to me. And that's when he also realized that she was in fact flirting with him. And that I had my reasons to feel the way I felt.

After solving that with my boyfriend I wanted to solve it with our friend. But this time she was the one being angry. She told me that she didn't want to be a part of my jealousy issues and that she didn't want to be my friend anymore. 

I didn't even flip at her. I flipped at my boyfriend. So her reaction to me wanting to talk to her was weird. I simply explained to her why I felt jealous and insecure and that I know I have to work on my trust issues, I just wanted her to back off a little in order to respect me and my boyfriend. I told her that I'm not mad at her and that I want to keep being her friend. But just, back off my boyfriend a little bit.. 

So me and my boyfriend are all cool now. But it feels like I've lost her as a friend and I'm scared it'll be weird to go to the same parties together now in the future. 

I don't know what to do. I tried my best to respectfully tell her how I felt but she doesn't want to talk to me anymore.

I've apologized to her as well. 

I'm scared that I might come off as this very jealous and controlling girlfriend now but I really think my feelings are valid in this. My reaction was not okay, it was clearly a bpd episode that got triggered when I flipped. But I truly am sorry for that and all I want now is for her to understand why I felt that way so we can solve this. 

I've never had this problem with other girls and my boyfriend before. Is it really that weird of me to ask her to respect my relationship and stop trying to be so close to him?