I've been in an ongoing conflict with a family member and I'm so fearful of how to continue. Both of my parents have passed away and this family member is one of the only people I have left, and yet they're honestly sort of toxic.

The gist of it is that I was trying to make plans to move back in with them for a few months before I start school somewhere else. I moved across the country last year, and I've been having a lot of problems with BPD; I've been struggling with school, oversleeping and overspending, and my symptoms have been worsening even after being hospitalized and starting medication. This family member knows the extent of the trauma that I've been through in my childhood, and yet constantly chooses to invalidate those experiences and say that other people have had it worse and that I have no excuse to act symptomatic. They pretty much choose to ignore the fact that I was diagnosed with BPD and claim that I'm just "depressed" but that everyone is sometimes. Needless to say that I'm reluctant to share a lot with this family member.

While having text conversations with them about plans for moving next month, they would unexpectedly go on these sort of long rants essentially saying the aforementioned lines. They pretty much said that if I were to move back, that I would have to do ALL the work in changing myself and improving our relationship because they've "given me all the support that they can." That was a really hard thing to hear, because I feel that their manipulative behavior has exacerbated my symptoms especially recently, and I'M the one who needs to do all the work? Hearing this pretty much made me flip out and I haven't responded since, which has been about a week. They texted a few days ago saying that it was best that I not come back, but I pretty much have no means to go anywhere else. I'm wondering what to do; I know I'm dealing with a toxic person who will not aid me in recovery, but I'm wondering what to say to at least temporarily make things better and let them know where I stand. They think that by not responding that I'm shutting them out forever, but I simply wanted to wait and make sure I wasn't splitting before I responded. Any advice, or things I should say?