I feel over the last few years I have improved, but only so little. I don't know if this is the most suitable subreddit for this since the feed has always been more of an echo chamber for vents. 


I really don't wanna see a therapist, it's so uncomfortable. Is this really the only way? 


Life could be better if I just changed my mindset, but you see, my current mindset is that life wouldn't be better, I'd just be fooling myself because life will still be exactly the same.


My life is not awful, but fucking dreadful. I hate, hating the fact that I'm alive. I wish I were happy being alive and being in this body but I absolutely am not.