I had a first therapy session in years with a lady who specializes in DBT. It took me being on a wait list for many months to land this appointment.

She was very nice but I left the session not feeling what I expected to feel and I'm wondering if it's a good fit or if I should give it a few more sessions.

I'm not sure what it was because she was nice and friendly but I felt like I sort of "performed" for her - like I felt this impulse to prioritize being likable and friendly rather than baring my truth. She struck me as very type A and organized, nice but not super emotional and warm. And I was worried if I was really honest with her about my life, she would judge me, because she didn't seem like someone who would ever end up in the situation I was in.

I was expecting to find some emotional relief after talking to her, but I left feeling nothing. It was like I just recounted the facts of my life dryly and couldn't get myself to an emotional place.

Also this was over zoom and she had a baby who kept crying in the background who she seemed a little distracted by.

By contrast usually when I see a therapist the first time I'm able to get to a more vulnerable place and sometimes will even start crying in the first session.

I also couldn't tell if it was partly zoom - I hated that I could see myself speaking to her (the little thumbnail on top). Also zoom just kind of magnifies everyone's facial expressions so seeing every nod and expression she made while we spoke made it harder for me sink into my own experience rather than perform socially for her.

I've stopped and started therapy before and I really really need therapy at this point in my life. Should I look for someone else, which may involve more months and weeks of waiting. Or do I continue on with this therapist even though she didn't make me feel any better?