And I don't mean random faceless users on a forum. Like you wish you could talk to a friend, someone who knows you, but when you think about talking to any of your friends you can clearly predict where that conversation is going to go and you realize it's not worth it.

Its physically painful that I have friends who always say the whole 'if ever you need to talk' thing, but I can already see how futile a conversation with any one of them would be. It would go nowhere, I wouldn't be able to say what I want to say to them because it just wouldn't be a good idea. I don't even have anyone I can complain to about not having any one to talk to. It sucks being surrounded by friends who are often supportive of each other but wouldn't sympathize with what you've got going on.

Fuck I just want to scream. I'd give anything to be able to spill my guts to someone who knows me. I feel so goddamn isolated and alone.