I try to be mindful of my “clingy-ness” but I do definitely struggle with object permanence - I noticed if we’re not actively together I assume I’m unwanted.

Today is the 4th day of my 6-day vacation home visiting family for Thanksgiving. I woke up this morning with a sudden “story storm” happening in my psyche. Do I be honest with my boyfriend and tell him how I’m upsetting myself with these beliefs, or will that simply make me look desperate for validation?

I do have past relationship trauma that involved vacations, so I’m being easy on myself. I was in a really bizarre relationship with a 25 year old when I was 14 (what was I thinking?) and he went on a “trip” to CA... he lied, he was moving, he never came back. And again, this last year, I dated a man who I was 100% sure was my soulmate. He went to Jamaica on a school trip, and when he returned, he sent me a text message break-up that he had “profound life realizations” while he was having this experience and decided he wasn’t interested in me anymore. Which completely confirmed a belief I had about myself: I am inferior, I am small, life has so much more to offer to a man than “just me”. It’s a constant battle to undo that from my subconscious.