ive battled against depression for a long time. 13 years now, my favorite number actually lol. but since i was 10 i’ve wanted to die. ppl find it rlly shocking how such a young kid just wants to give up. i’m 23 now, still get the same reaction, and the same thoughts still taking over my head. i have bipolar depression so i know this will never end. those thoughts will continue and i’m going to die one day because of them. i’m just another number on this planet. recent weeks people have told me i have not been myself. angry, sad, doing life risking tasks. i finally came out to my friends and told them i want to die. they weren’t rlly shocked. i’ve dealt with these thoughts since before they were around. they know my history, and my attempts. they’re stressed out of their minds trying to keep me sane, trying to keep me from ending my life. i know they’re tired of fighting and so am i. i don’t wanna burden anyone anymore rlly. i’ve tried therapy and gotten no results. i’ve tried eating healthy, sleeping more, working out, going back to school setting goals doing my favorite hobbies, getting jobs i want.. yet i’m still like this. and being like this for this long makes me think maybe i’m not meant for human life, im not meant to carry on anymore. everyone’s stressed out over me. why should i carry that burden on for the rest of their lives. they don’t deserve to worry anymore and i deserve peace for once in my life. i think dying solves this problem. i can’t be fixed, im ruining everything around me so i can die easier, and for everyone to just accept that this was always my fate. i hope this doesn’t trigger anyone else on here. i thought venting on here would be easier than holding my final thoughts on this planet in for someone to understand . i’ve been making so many mistakes… i’ve passed off the ppl i love, now i just make enough money to leave my loved ones before i go. i know they’d rather have me here but this is easier. no need to worry ab this anymore, cause it’ll be done, and eveyone can move on. i’m sorry i was not strong enough for this life. i’m sorry to anyone who read this far.