PS: Im not suicidial lol, im just kinda lost and need a bit of guidance

 Well, here I am back on Reddit venting to the only possible people I can to in my life. I'm a 15-year-old Asian male and honestly, I think quarantine really messed up my entire life. During Quarantine I had no friends. Absolute 0, I was by myself in my room being addicted to video games and online relationships that weren't really real to me in the end. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and what goals to accomplish in the future. I cheated on tests and copied off homework during online classes and honestly, I don't feel proud of it at all anymore. During lectures, I would be watching youtube videos or things that weren't related to studying and I would fall behind now that I realize it in my sophomore year. I'm currently doing better, with friends and stuff but they're not like the emotional health type if you know what I mean. I can't just bring it up to them because I feel like it would be selfish and they would see me like I'm a weakling or whatever. I've been back into my codependent shell of a life and I would look at all my friends get with someone that they can love and appreciate but, I'm just lonely again. My grades have been going to almost straight B's due to my procrastination just like I'm doing right now, and I try and try but have never been able to get over this terrible habit. I really have nothing to look up to in my life at the moment apart from distractions such as Cross-Country, running, and basketball. Every time I'm home inside my room or just alone, I would get these lonely thoughts and break down mentally. I don't think therapists are really an option as I have Asian parents that don't really get the whole "mental health" issues. I've been trying to do better, I really am but every time even for a moment of being alone, my thoughts go elsewhere. Currently writing this with no hope for the future, grades are straight B's, can't even get top 10 in a cross country competition, literally 0 motivation at all. I'm literally not good at anything now that I realize it, I'm average at everything I try to do and stuff. I'm trying to do better, but Idk what to do. Maybe that's why no one sees me at anything special because there's nothing really that makes me stand out. I'm lost in life is what I'm trying to say ig. Thank you for reading my boring story haha! and peace out!