My dad is mad at me. He’s the one that emotionally abused me as I grew up, so I can get scared in his very presence even though we’re on better terms. I still live with him due to financial issues. 

Lately I haven’t been able to recognize his emotions and I’m walking on eggshells. I made a small mistake, though I’m super scared of the consequences later, but not with my dad. I’m scared of him because he’s angry. Angry means no forgiveness, cold shoulder, and hate. I end up hating myself too. And cutting my self because I hate myself and deserve it I feel, even though my therapist is working with me on that. 

I’m trying to make myself as small as possible and pretend I don’t exist. Does anyone else do this?