Sorry if this post gets a bit rant like..

I've recently started college and so far its been nothing but feelings of stress for me, this is coming after a long 3 month break since May. 

I dont know if this is due to me being terrible at adjusting to new things, cause previously when it happened to me in high school, i got over it after around 2 weeks.

Now im every morning i feel absolutely terrible, to the point i cant stomach to eat breakfast anymore. Something inside me just feels fearful at the prospect of doing college with it's assignments and strictly scheduled lectures. It seems that because of the strict nature of the college im attending it made me feel anxious and worried i was going to make a mistake (whether it'd be waking up too late, turning in my assignment with the wrong file format, etc)

These little things seem to always occupy my thoughts on a given day, im so scared that i'd fuck up and never be able to recover if i made that single mistake, im sorry if this sounds so stupid how im fixated on such a tiny thing... but its seriously affecting my thoughts since starting my college

Another thing is that college is currently run online as it isnt ideal due to the pandemic. Due to that classes are ran in zoom calls most of the time, and to be honest while i feel it isnt ideal to learn nor socialize this way, i also feel im comfortable with being stuck in my room for the time being.

Now the school is currently having plans to become offline since november, and while this is a source of happiness to many, it isnt for me... im just so worried about how ill adapt to a new environment, due to the fact that i'd have to move to a new city and live by myself. Ive been living in this house for 18 years and the thought of leaving it feels me with dread. A part of me just has this nagging feeling that having too many responsibilities will make me worse in some way.. that i wont get anything done in a day cause all i do is stress at chores or activities that i havent done.

Another source of my worries is also the community surrounding my college. I feel like i honestly cant fit in with them. Most of the people thats studying at my major are very much well put people. All of them have friends that are attending the same college or otherwise are quite the sociable person. Basically they habe their life together. I on the other hand, feel like im a duck in a chicken coop. I honestly dont know if ill be able to fit in or even be good friends. Is this cause of my inability to make relations or due to the limitations of the lockdown.. i dont know

And finally i want to get to the bulk of my worries, assignments and tests. This major does give out an extensive amount of it, and it really did fuck up my head as i feared i couldnt finish it all in time. This on top of having other obligations like collecting points from joining webinars and a plethora of other college activities that tbf we were forced to do... i just cant help but think that all of these are eating away at my time that i could use to do things that i'd actually want to do... and i also dont know if im using that free time to the fullest either.

Im currently thinking of transferring if possible... but  i fear that i'd be seen as a coward for backing down on an opportunity to go to college.. i just feel like this isnt healthy for me, i've had thoughts of ending it a couple while now, and thinking of exiting this place just feels like a burden has been lifted from me..

I just want to know if people could give me any form of advice.. thank you for reading this