I never felt I was truly wanted or needed. It's starting to kill me slowly. I've been talking to a guy for a month and he showed me more affection and dedication than my ex in 6 months. We had an argument, but nothing out of proportions. Still, his last relationship was with a woman who travels a lot for her job and they broke up because she decided to move to another country for studies. They tried to keep contact but it didn't work out and now the love is "dead" in a way... I just feel like he would never choose me if she was still with in the country. I feel like he's only choosing me cause I'm "available". It hurts me as hell and I just want to grab my heart and stroke it until I feel absolutely nothing. I'm afraid to get into a relationship with him so fuckin much. I'm afraid I'll get hurt. I'm just so fuckin afraid and I keep having those thoughts that anyway I'm just a fuckin second choice by default.