after i got out of a very abusive home situation and moved out i developed horrible health anxiety for no reason that i know of. my partner's theory is that since i have nothing to actively worry about that my brain is searching for something. i have bpd ptsd depression anxiety adhd.

its exhausting. at least once a week if not more often i think im dying and cant think of anything else because im like "but what if?" some recent fears that have reached panic attack levels: breast cancer, brain tumor, copd, heart attack, and most recently blood clot because of a random muscle ache in my leg. it's tiring and horrible and i always think "but what if this IS the time?" ugh. im 20 but i do smoke cigarettes so this hiegjtens my fear and makes me want to quit but then i go a day off of them and crave them so bad that it doesnt seem to matter.

im tired