Just found this sub and this is my first post so be gentle with me hehehh.

Sooo, the future hurts to think about. One day im hella motivated, i want to do so much, im excited as fuck, and im ready to work as hard as i can and more than humanly possible.

Then i think more, then my current reality sets in, how i know how mentally fucked i am, how physically fucked i am, how financially fucked i am, and how much shit im gonna have to go through to get where i want. 

Of course i want the better life and i want to work to get there, but why do i just shut down sometimes? Literally unable to do what i know i need to do. Ive been through 10 jobs that ive left in 3 days or less over the course of a couple years (im 21 btw) even if i liked them. I get overwhelmed for no reason, i panic, i freeze, and i leave. Now i have a new job and i know 100% i cant leave till i pay my shit off. The job isnt the issue but i think it was the most recent catalyst to me shutting down the way i did yesterday.

This whole post was all over the place, i just dont know mannnnn. The future has no in between feeling for me. I either feel amazing about it or i dread it. Structuring everything helps, but no matter how much structure i have, the actual DOING of the thing is the hardest, and ill probably end up doing what my brain thinks i should do in the moment.

Idk what im asking anymore honestly, if anyone else feels the same way or has any advice or opinions, anything would be appreciated. Cheers