so in my experience with both therapists and friends, when i tell them how i react after i’ve been treated poorly and i blame myself for my behavior i often get responses that are sort of like “but he treated you bad” and i’m like yes but i reacted bad and that’s MY fault and they’re like “no but HE…” and i find it pretty frustrating because i feel like i’m actively trying to take responsibility for my own actions and they’re sort of justifying my actions instead?