All me life I knew something was going on with me, mainly because all my mother’s family have some sort of mental illness, but I never wanted to go to a psychologist or to a psychiatrist until now. 

When the specialist told me I am bipolar and all it’s implications I started to question my entire life, I don’t know how to feel or how to act. I don’t know any more what is part of my personality and what is part of the mental Illness. I am actually scared to take the medications and not recognize myself or my feelings or the perception of the world. I feel like if I have been living in a world that I don’t share with anyone else.

I don’t know if any of you have any tips, personal experiences or anything. 

I can’t not take the medications because I feel uncontrollable and I am actually ruining everything in my life because of this bipolar mind.