I tried to go out tonight. I havent been out in a couple of months. I went because I know its what normal people do. I sat there quietly, made it about an hour and left almost crying. My depression and anxiety were too much. 

I partially went out because I had been feeling suicidal all day and thought I had nothing to lose. But people are wrong…there js always something to lose. Now I just want to die even more than before.