Whenever I vent to someone about my experiences as someone with BPD they usually tell me, "Well isn't that the case with everyone?" I would talk about my over attachment to others, splitting, fear of abandonment (that results in me engaging in target behaviors), impulsive behaviors that sometimes put me in danger (and making these decisions often don't seem dangerous to me until a third party hears about it), and everything else... They would usually say, "Oh me, too."


... I don't know how to take that... It usually sends me to a spiral and I feel bad because maybe I don't have it... Maybe this thing that takes over me isn't real and I'm just weaker compared to my friends. After this I stop talking to my friends and isolate because I feel like I'm just faking everything and manipulating them and using BPD as an excuse to why I feel the way I do or spiral or just... Struggle so much. 


I often don't vent to my friends anymore. Maybe just strangers who are willing to listen, but rarely friends. I know they mean well... But I feel like I'm a manipulative monster when they say they experience this, too. I feel horrible. Even writing this now I'm freaking out and almost crying. Having a small anxiety attack... I can't. I feel so alone on this journey I'm on of learning about my BPD...