For the past couple of years now I have been having these impulses/urges that just seem to be getting stronger and harder to control.

It all started when I would be stood talking to friends in work with a cup in my hand. For instance, I would be on my way to the kitchen and bump into colleagues along the way and stand and chat. 

All of a sudden, from absolutely nowhere my hands would become radioactive like. All of my focus would be on my hands and the cup I was holding. I could no longer concentrate on the conversation, all I could think about is this cup and smashing it as hard as I can into the face of the person facing me. This then became a thing every time I would stand with a cup in my hand talking to someone. I would literally forget about it until I was in that position and the urge came alive - I soon learnt to put the cup down. 

It then became apparent it wasn’t the cup, as it happened when I was holding a piece of fruit. It’s like I cannot control my hands and I want to throw the object as hard as I can into the persons face. The urges are so strong and I can vividly see during the urge me actually doing it, the result of my actions and and the reaction of people around me as if I did actually do it. 

It now happens when I drive. Mostly when on the motorway just driving straight. I get the urge to pull the stirring wheel hard and fast to the left. It only seems to happen on the motorway and so I have to sing along to music and do anything I can to distract my mind. Again, I forget all about it until it comes from nowhere and the urge bubbles and bubble and bubbles and I have to talk myself into not doing it.

It’s so scary because I worry about how strong these urges are and how much I struggle to keep them at bay and how one day I may not be able too. 

I have never been a violent person. If anything I have a high conscience, worry a lot and try to please people. 

Where has this come from? How do I stop it?