Sorry, English isn't my native language

One year ago I lose my fp. She was my ex but we had remained friends. I never told her I'm BPD because I was affraid she could leave me, and I think she have a undiagnosed PTSD and I try to help her advising them to see a therapist, that's important for later.
So at some point she started to ghost me for no reason and covid don't help me.
One day we go out with common friends, she had a new bf and everyone know it and nobody told me that, they jokes on that, but the worst thing is that she hug everyone except me, she pretended I wasn't here and avoided me all day.

I was suffering and at the end of the day I took her in a private place for talk and understand if I had done something wrong. She told me that my advices to see a therapist for her sounded like ultimatum and that I can't understand how she feels because her trauma is way too worse than mine. I get extremely angry: she didn't care how I was feeling, and today I still fell shame for wat I said

Today I still miss her, but sometime I think I have no right to feel bad because her trauma is worse than mine, but she's now happy while I starting to have panic attacks, intense chest pain when I'm sad, I left university for anxiety and for not see her again and feeling worse and start unhealty coping mechanism.

I don't know if I have the right to feel bad for having been a piece of shit