How does a pwBPD devalue?  Do you openly criticize your partner, or is that a narcissist thing?  Or do you just devalue silently in your head?  I'm trying to determine what my ex girlfriend was to maybe help better understand what I dealt with for 2 years.  She ticked nearly all the boxes for covert narcissist, but there seemed to be some or a lot of BPD in her.  During devaluation, I stayed 14 months in this stage.  Honeymoon period lasted around 10 months.  Devaluation consisted of disappearing a lot (silent treatment) for sometimes weeks at a time.  The biggest form of devaluation were criticisms and back-handed comments ... EXCESSIVELY!  Nearly always framed as a joke.  Are criticisms and back-handed comments a BPD thing?  These comments and slight criticisms were there from the beginning very subtly, but ramped up consistently and severely over time.  During the last 6-8 months nearly every other sentence spoken to me had a snide remark or criticism in it.  I never criticized her once, and usually just laughed every criticism she threw at me off, saying "that's a funny one!," or I'd give no reaction.  Usually she would sneer a little after she gave me a critical jab, like it felt good to her.  

She seemed to have secretly envied me.  Her biggest thing was criticizing my job, calling it a "cushy" job.  I run a large distribution facility, so I'm a fairly high earner and can come and go as I please since I'm in a charge of everything.  I was able to spend a lot of time with her because of this.  My earning power always seemed to bother her.  I never understood the criticisms and snide comments, my life is in order, I have assets, and I'm a very positive person.  From my perspective, life is good, and I wanted to share with her.  Anyway, she ghosted me on my birthday and I found out she was carrying on a relationship with her ex during my devalue.  After ghosting me and I found out she was with her ex, I ended relationship through email since she wouldn't answer phone (or I was blocked).  I heard from her brother that she was with ex for another month after I left then she ghosted him, and found another guy and that lasted 2 months.  I've been getting texts from her over the past 6 months, seems to be "testing the waters" hoovers.

I'm just trying to determine if I was with a BPD with narc traits or a covert narc with BPD traits.  Or just a run of the mill covert narc.  I don't know, the honeymoon period was intense and she was extremely into me, there was nothing fake about that.  Could have been a facade (mask) but seemed so genuine.  For 6 months, all I had to do was breath and I was a God to her.  After 10 months, holy shit did that change.