Throwaway account, not that anyone knows my actual Reddit account anyway but oh well. 

Also, warning: as this post does mention substance abuse and it is the main subject that I’m asking for support/advice on. 

I have had a pretty fucked up last two years. Throughout the pandemic in 2020 and even most of last year in 2021, I was massively addicted to Xanax and Valium. I don’t want to go too deep into that but it is relevant for the story. Either way, I still have some problems with moderation when it comes to alcohol and weed, I’m not proud of it but I’m quite happy when I’m able to moderate my consumption of these two things nicely.

For example, I’d call it a pretty decent success if I spend 5 days a week stone cold sober, which I almost did this week until Thursday, in which I did have a few drinks. Not blackout drunk or anything crazy, but just drunk. Just for context, my gf drinks too and can quite easily put me under the table when she wants to. Anyways, onto the juicy stuff, I guess.

Tonight I mentioned to my girlfriend of 5 months that I’ve spent tonight stone cold sober during my work shift (I work from home and can easily and unnoticeably smoke a joint during my lunch break and continue work fine) and I was fairly happy with this considering I have felt, emotionally, like shit since I woke up today. She, in response, said “It is normal for people to be sober during work, but that’s good.” 

I replied saying, “I know but please don’t diminish my pathetic achievement”, to which she agreed and apologised and told me to “keep it up”, to which I responded “thanks, I have done all week up until last night to be fair.” She then said that she didn’t believe me and this is what kind of scared and upset me.

Am I that much of a wreck that it’s no longer believable for me to say that I haven’t had a drink or a smoke most of the week? She’s drank all week long (after work, as she does not work from home) and, me not being a prick, didn’t bring that up.

I mentioned that it upset me and she immediately apologised and it’s all okay, but I can’t help but look at her a little bit different… Am I overreacting? Am I right to be hurt?

We’ve not been together for very long and I understand that and I wouldn’t normally come to Reddit for help with relationships, I’m just stuck on what to feel, I guess.

Any advice would be appreciated. 

TLDR; mentioned to gf that I have been sober most of the week, she didn’t believe me and now I wonder if I’m overreacting or if my feelings are valid because this upset me.