I'm not sure if anyone else is in a similar situation but my favourite person does really horrible things and never thinks about how it can affect me. 

I try to hide the fact that everything he does affects me so easily but he will promise that we will spend the night together and then go out with friends instead (onthe rare occasion we might get time together) This keeps happening again and again and I feel like it's the worst betrayal I can experience. 

Why would someone say they'll be with you and then leave you for something they see as a better plan? I don't know how I'm supposed to cope with someone who understands my BPD but is still happy to hurt me in this way. I can't handle being lied to. It's like they're playing games, trying to push me away. 

I feel triggered so badly by being treated like this and feel so ready to act out by self harming or doing something more dangerous. I feel like I can't control it and it's so horrible. Why would someone lie and do things like this whilst knowing that they are able to affect you like this? 


I feel like I'm going crazy and they are the only person that could calm me. They only have to be honest and they can't even do that. What can I do? They already know exactly how I feel and say sorry repeatedly, but don't mean it as keep repeating same things :( 