First of all, I don't speak English so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes.

my name is Bruno, I'm twenty-two years old and I'm from Argentina. This year has been a nosedive for me and I don't see an encouraging future. I had problems with my ex partner who made the decision to move away from me. As a result of that bad relationship, I became a controlling, toxic person and ended up in the psychiatric hospital twice, due to crises that have led to suicide attempts and self-flagellation. This year I graduated from a career that I am not passionate about, I do not see myself working in it, I have many insecurities about it and its difficult for me to admit it. I signed up for a programming course, which I am taking after my first hospitalization, but I have many doubts about it. I don't know if I'm taking advantage of this learning, because every day I feel depressed. Also, the course is not cheap at all. I am currently taking psychotropic drugs every day; I must confess that I do not always comply with taking the pills. I have been to the psychologist but I feel that she is not helping me, I do not get answers and I continue with my bad habits. Let's mention that I live alone. That many times I don't eat. I go to bed and get up late (my day usually starts at 2:00 PM / 3:00 PM). In the middle of this mess I became an active user of marijuana and every two or three days I buy, because they make my problems dissolve for a while. I'm very afraid of the future, because I think its black. I started thinking about suicide more often. I imagine how I could kill myself. In addition to the final distance my ex decided to take, other friends have distanced themselves from me. I can't help but think that I am a problem to everyone who interacts with me. I don't have motivation to continue living. I cry every day because I miss my ex, and he has already completely forgotten about me. I can't help but want to know what he does, who he sees. I feel like, in a year that we were together, I really didn't get to know him, and that hurts a lot. On the other hand, I'm not someone close to my family, who also lives in another city. My mother wants to get closer to me, but I'm ashamed to show me what I am to her. I can't forge a close relationship with her, I just can't, and it breaks my heart to see her sad.

Well. I think that's a bit of everything. I need help. I'm lost. I'm scared.