So lately my routine has been wake up at five AM, school until 1:00(taking extra courses to graduate early :/), do chores, continue to work  on the several projects I have, work out(by now the sun is setting), clean up/self-care/hygiene, do homework, work on legal documents, and then work on my book if I have time.

With this schedule, I usually go to bed anywhere from 6PM to 2AM but no matter when I go to sleep, I toss and turn for a least an hour. So I'm getting two-ten hours of sleep, yet continue to work. 

My eating schedule is also super messed up. I'll eat too much at once and not eat for hours or days after. It's never healthy stuff either, so hot girl summer is out. I've gained a lot of weight lately which has made me feel worse.

As if it couldn't get any worse, lately I've been sick A LOT. For example, in the last month: 

Had a 48 hour stomach bug

Heart weirdness that landed me in the ER and now I have to see a cardiologist(again, I'm young, so??)

Several colds

And clumsy, in the past WEEK:

stepped on an earring, three pieces of glass, and a massive wood thorn thingy(all of which ended up as splinters)

Brakes on my bike haven't been working on one side, instead of using the good side brakes when almost hit by a car, I USED MY FOOT, THEREFORE, MY TOES ARE SKINNED(2D paper cut teehee)

I mean this just sucks. And on top of all my other responsibilities, I am a pet keeper hobbiest, I have to maintain relationships w/ my toxic family members, maintain my relationships with my friends and SO, as well as w/ my animals, namely my dog(right now, I have a dog, cat, three fishtanks, and a snake. Used to have more but most passed or were rehomed because I was not in the right place to care for them). 

I just don't think I'm in a good headspace for this whole thing. And I want physical affection out of a relationship but I have yet to get that and it's SUPER important to me which I've expressed multiple times. I feel trapped though because she's co-dependant on me. The pressure is starting to get to me.