I know yall struggle with this too and I thought maybe with our collective experiences, might come some better insight.


I've had at least 20 jobs in my life. Yes, 20. This is because I will often think to myself "yeah, I could be a waiter" or "you know, an office job doesn't sound too bad" or even the occasional delusional "I'm going to be a great freelance artist" and "I'll go back to school and learn to write screenplays". Ugh.


And then I jump on it and realize that either I'm really not suited for it, the job is much different than I envisioned , or that it's not meaningful to me and a dreadful waste of time. I'll quit anxiously after a week or two. My longest job spanned about a year and a half before I was laid off because  of Covid. 


So now I'm sitting here trying to figure out something purposeful to do with my life and cursing my teachers and parents that framed adult life like some big search for vocational meaning in the first place. Switching back and forth between goals every week or two and putting off applying to work at Jack in the Box until my last moments of desperation. Feeling anxious about being unemployed but not wanting to screw up again. Wash, rinse, repeat. 


Bpd peeps who have a consistent career, and also those like me who share this struggle, please share your wisdom. I'm at a low point.