I hate myself so much for being like that when they're just minding their business.

Sometimes I just see people so casually happy and hugging and being close. Or just visibly happy in general.
...and I just feel so bitter.

They don't deserve me being so shitty over their happiness...


I can't help it, I know I'm garbage, I know I don't deserve to be like them, but sometimes I see people hugging and I wish I knew what it felt like to be like that so badly it hurts