Everyday feels the same. I’m so stressed about my future because I don’t even know where I will be in a few months. I have no plans. I have no friends, no hobbies that bring me joy. Even holidays don’t put me in a good mood anymore. My life feels like just waiting for certain events to come and that’s it. Like I look forward to my birthday (today) or to when a show I like is coming out or music I like is coming out and that’s all my life is. I don’t get any enjoyment out of being here. I’m not living. I honestly don’t see a point to life. I’m so bored. I don’t want to be here anymore. I started my 22 year on earth today and I would honestly be okay if it was my last. I don’t have the urge to travel, go to concerts, get married or have kids. I just don’t want to live a boring and lonely life anymore. I’ve done it for years and I will likely be lonely for as long as I live. Moments like this are supposed to be the happiest in life but I feel myself getting the most depressed on my birthday or holidays because it shows how lonely I am and how much I have not accomplished in life. I hope I die before May. Maybe I’ll find the balls to kill myself soon. I’ll get away from my anxiety, loneliness, stress, sadness and my toxic family. I’ll finally not be haunted by my past.