 I feel unattractive, unwanted.

The girl I liked at school preferred my friend. It was in elementary school, I remember how they once went into the room together. Later I went there to them and felt like the third wheel.This friend and I then transferred to another school.

Already in high school, we were walking with this friend and a group of guys and the girl made a compliment about his appearance, about his eyes.Almost no one has complimented me in my entire life.

When I was at university I made friends with a guy.We were often togetherI remember how we stood with him and a couple of girls with whom we studied.One of the girls asked some question about history.I answered it.To which she replied that it was not for me.Making it clear that he wants to talk to him, not to me.Before that, I told this friend that she was cute.

Another situation at the university.The toxic guy I studied with was rude to me.One day we were leaving class and he hugged a girl he studied with. She was from another group.He guessed that I was lonely and depressed.Considering his toxic attitude towards me and the way he looked at me.That was addressed to me.It was unpleasant.

Once a guy from the group invited me to his birthday party.I came but felt uncomfortable.I remember the scene where the same guy I mentioned above was lying on the bed next to another girl.There was a small distance between them. They did not touch each other, they were just talkingThis girl was also toxic and rude to me beforeI asked them how they were doing, they laughed in response.I went to another room

On the first day of university, the girl did not sit next to me.She came last and there was only one place left.It was unpleasant.But it hurt later. When I saw how she talked with the guys from the group, sat next to them, hugged them.I once saw a video of her talking to a foreign guy.Once I was going to class and she was lying on the lap of a guy from the university in the corridor.

It was very painful that they would not even sit next to me, let alone talk to me.Self-esteem became very low.I've already been told that I'm ugly.I began to think that something was wrong with me.There is something wrong with the way I look, who I am, with my hair, with my skin tone, with my eyes, with my height, with my arms, legs, etc.

Thank you if you read to the end. I will be glad for kind words.