I’m not currently diagnosed with BPD. I’ve struggled with mental health my whole life. I’ve seen a few therapists in the past, but I wasn’t honest about how badly I was doing so I didn’t really learn anything. Got prescribed antidepressants by a doctor and just told my therapist the bare minimum in our sessions.
I now have a bachelors degree in psychology which I know means nothing but it’s helped me understand why I act certain ways and I’ve been suspecting that I am borderline. 
I’m afraid to start therapy again because I know about the stigma against borderlines and how it may be hard for me to get started. But I’m so god damn miserable. I thought for a bit that I could fix myself and I went through a short period where I was semi happy but now it’s worn off. I hate myself and I feel so empty no matter what I do. 
My biggest fear is that I’ll finally be honest to a therapist and then they will turn me away. I know that will break me. I already hate myself enough and feel like everyone else does. 
For those who are in therapy or are even taking medication , what did it take for you to finally start? Was it a rough road? Were you turned away by any therapists?
I appreciate any input this community can give.