I guess what I’m looking for is thoughts or advice or anything really. Maybe I just need to feel heard. 

My fp left me after two years of a friends with benefits and best friends-type of relationship back in October. When we were together, i really hoped that one day he would realize he wanted to date me,  so I stuck around through the fights and accusations. He would tell me and my friends that I was delusional and deny our history together to the point where I felt like I really was making the whole thing up (even though I swearrr I’m not). The last time we spoke, he told me he only kept me in his life because he “was horny” and I “was easy”.  He also said he “probably would date [me] if [I] weren’t so mentally ill”. 
He has a reputation at my school of being a major feminist and mental health ally, so when he denied ever saying these things, everyone believed him and blamed me, knowing that I could be prone to delusions from my illness.

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this for months and I’m dreading having to see him with my former friend group next semester. I told a more detailed account of my experiences with him to a councilor at school. They called his actions sexual assault and coercion, but I don’t have the heart to report him. And I don’t have the support of my friends anymore because they all left me for him. I’m just really at a loss and I wish I knew how to emotionally move past this. 