I have pretty bad panic disorder and agoraphobia.. Yesterday, a panic attack combined with another source of anxiety made me fear that I was losing control of my emotions..

My doctor once prescribed me alprazolam as a backup for when things really don't work, however I've never taken one in my life. More importantly, due to my health anxiety I'm afraid to even try, I'm worried that it'll make me too tired, I'll become dependent, or that I'll get unwanted side effects.

I much, much prefer to resort to meditation if I really have to when things are too much, rather than taking medication.

Is it okay for me to be on the fence about it, or should it be something that I grab to immediately? I don't feel like the doctor really put forward any risks at all associated with it. She just made it sound simple like "Yeah it relaxes you and calms you down.".