I was diagnosed with BD about a year ago. And it hasn’t been easy. I’ve been switched to many medications and somehow haven’t gotten better with any. My manic episodes scare me. Whenever they’re happening, I never know. I know once I realize the damage (emotional) I did to myself or someone else. And I never know how to explain it to others or apologize because even I don’t understand them. I just know they happen. And when they do, I break more each time. How can I explain a function of my brain that is psychosis induced? I want to say that maybe it’d be best if I were alone so I don’t emotionally hurt others with my actions. But at the same time, being alone just makes my manic depression worse. My biggest fear is being stuck in this limbo forever. It sounds dramatic, but I’ve been stuck in this position for a long time.
I don’t know. I’m just aimlessly going about it now.