My boyfriend cheated on me, he blamed my constant outbursts and need for attention. He said he wanted to hang out with someone 'normal' and feel loved on. He said he feels like he lives in a nut house when I was staying with him, but the thing is most of what I was blowing up about was my insecurity that he would cheat on me like every guy before. Now that he's turned and blamed me, I feel like it's my fault and like all the other times have been too. But maybe I was actually picking up on something, not being crazy, and I just didn't really have a healthy way of communicating that concern which ended up being valid to him. Now I know I should leave but I'm staying because it feels like I'm the one who destroyed this relationship. I know I can do better, so why am I staying? And will I ever find somebody who loves me FOR my disorder and every part of me instead of trying to change me? I started taking medications because told me he couldn't do it anymore- this was before he cheated. I have gotten SO MUCH better since taking the meds, I can admit that, but I feel like he should have just been patient for them to work. Part of me wants him to just dump me so I can hurt and move on