As a young kid I was always pretty insecure pretty chubby and not athletic. My freshman year I got into Wreslting and really loved it so I started working to have a purpose in it.  Myjunior year I had trouble keeping my weight down for a varsity spot u was wanting to get because I was eating too many fruits and vegetables and not enough fat. This caused me to starving all the time and pretty bad side effects like straight up panic attacks for no reason because my body was under so much stress. So I figured that out got with a dietician and developed a healthy sustainable don't where I could loose weight be lean and not fee like I wanted to die. I was actually out part of the season early on because I had a bad mcl sprain keeping me out too. Fast forward to the summer I went to club Wreslting practices built up my confidence in there and got shredded again but felt amazing this time. I felt like I was on top of the world looking good being able to have a good group of friends and feeling like I was actually a good wrestler. Now at the beginning of school like a month in I got bad asthma and went a week without more than 5 hr of sleep because I would be coughing late at night. Then I got covid right after and it caused me to get insatiable hunger for some weird reason. Pretty much I could eat too I was sick on healthy balanced foods and I wouldn't feel satiety. I gained some weight then lost it trying to get lean for Wreslting. Felt pretty awful doing this considering something was messing with my hunger satiety signals. Then I broke couldn't handle the feeling any more and are tons of food trying to get full. I did this for weeks and gained a ton of weight. Covid really messed up my conditioning and strength as well so I couldn't even compete well at all even given plenty enough time where my body under normal circumstances should have came back.I Now I lost what I loved most in the world and most of all I feel like that was my once chance to show they world I was good at something. I literally had a varsity spot lined up for me and my practice partner before all this was like dude your prob like one of the best wrestlers in out school rn. Now I'm just without purpose and lost everything I was proud of that gave me confidence. It feels so weird how everything I worked for and what was supposed to give me fulfillment is just gone.