Long story short, a while ago me and my wife were practically homeless because of family issues. Now, two years later, we’ve saved up a decent amount of money. And are comfortable.

During these two years I was the only one working as my wife was studying full time (but still trying to sell stuff on the side to make a little extra). 

I’ve had no time off in the last two years, working overtime and night shift and the numbness took over. I feel like a shell, a machine who goes through the motions because I have to, to support my wife and our animals. 

A few weeks ago I remembered a dream of mine that I’ve had since I was a teenager. That I really wanted a gaming pc. And for the first time in months, I felt genuine excitement. I brought it up to my wife who was not thrilled of the idea at first. But she wanted me to be happy, so she agreed. And I ordered it.

But now I feel this crippling sense of guilt over spending money on myself, and not putting it away in our savings.

I’m trying to tell myself that I am allowed to ”treat” myself, and I should let myself be happy over it. But the guilt comes and makes me physically ill.

What should I do?