quick rant. i’ve spent the entire day dreading canceling on plans w a couple of my friends because my anxiety is so bad. this is because for the last year i’ve come to realize that they have absolutely 0 respect for my needs. i’ve had anxiety forever. typically it comes and goes but for this past year w covid and climate change and just being inundated w Too Much Info™️ ive had a hard time overcoming bouts of anxiety. but i do it. i’ve always done it. i always get through it. friends that i’ve had for forever and family that i’ve been around for forever know this. and they don’t care. and i love them for it. and i work through my anxiety almost tenfold when i have their support. i’ll put up a fight against my intrusive thoughts and physical sensations if it means being able to spend time w people i value who i know value me and understand if i’m having a harder time living than they are. but these 2 friends that i have.... are not like this. i’ve never had this issue with them until this past year, when they weren’t at all understanding of my covid anxiety.... in the *middle of a pandemic*. this past year has been hard on me not because i’m dealing w too much information all the time and too much calculating... but also because i’ve been at war w myself because my *friends* make me feel as though i’m small, or stupid, or crazy, and ofc just wrong. my “friends” almost make my anxiety worse. i shouldn’t have to sit here afraid to tell them that i just need a day off to work through my anxiety. i should just be able to tell them. and they should just say “cool! sorry you’re going thru that, see you another time.” it shouldn’t be the silent treatment, or the judgment, or the anger. do u think this is something i can just turn off? do u think this is a state i ENJOY being in? it makes me so mad. i love my friends they make me laugh and they can make me feel great.... but wow they make me feel awful too.