Ever since I was a child, I bleed from social anxiety, emotions, introversion, stress, and other things I can't put into words. My parents always fought because of my father ( womanizer, drunkard, abusive ). I always left home and was at some place where I could be alone. I remember sitting at the top of a boulder believing that I'm the only person in this world, and all around me are mere illusions. It felt like everything faded, and my mind was leaving my body. Recently I graduated with a degree that  I don't even like. I became unemployed for months. I felt very useless. I don't have skills, no talents, I don't have the qualities, and I don't have the personalities employers want.. My depression intensifies, and it intensifies even more when problems trigger again. It is much worse than before. I cried lots, so much that my heart was about to explode. I want to live, but I don't know how to live anymore.