Hey everyone 

I have borderline and the last few months have been a real nightmare, especially for my girlfriend and our relationship overall. I am really struggling to process my emotions and the erratic and sudden mood changes are really wearing her down and I am constantly unloading all of my emotions onto her before processing and helping myself. For example today everything was going well but I had a nap and had a really sad dream and I woke up and before processing it I instinctively messaged her a message saying how shit I feel but without any context and this spiralled very quickly because she has an important gig tonight and the message straight away brought her mood down and gave her a lot of anxiety. This instinctive messaging when I wake up feeling shit has become a recurring pattern and i know it’s inconsiderate of me to push that onto her before I allow myself to process what I’m feeling or even trying to message her in a constructive way about how I’m feeling. The way I’m communicating in those moments is very attention seeking and I can see from her angle how it would be very hard to process when there’s no context and our last communication was me feeling happy. 

Anyway I wanted to post this because I really wanted some advice or tips on what I could do to help avoid doing this in the future. I don’t know if anyone here has had a similar behaviour pattern or experience but if you could offer anything that could help me that would be amazing. I love her so much and I don’t want to keep doing this to us and our relationship :(