I'm on lamictal and my struggles with it is i cant find tge right dosage. It works better as sleeping pills for me and i take alot bc thats what i was advised. I have doubke vision, nausea and spinning room thing(idk what i am supposed to call this). It doesn't even make me more stable. But since i show up to therapy and group stuff i am considered happy and stable. I'm going through too many life troubles at the moment and am questioning my life, relationship and identity. I feel broken but happy but then i realise its not happiness, its a delusion bc i tricked myself into believing i could kead a happy life bc people gaslit me to thinking my problematic behaviours didn't excist and that i had to stop dramaticising it. My boyfriend and i talked about very recent problematic behaviours i've shown and done, how it made him feel and how he understood that i was hopeless since he's seen how i get "treated" in therapy. All i have are meds that dont even work. And i'm dumbfounded. I cant function and i'm looking at the pill bottle wondering why tf i even take them.

I even tried going off them and felt no difference, went on them again and became sleepy. I sleep all day now and am lazy.