I have a doctors appointment at 10am tomorrow (so less than 12 hours from now) and I’m starting to feel the anxiety set in. My last doctor’s appointment was a terrible experience, not because of the doctor, but because of myself. I spent most of my teen years in and out of hospitals and now every time I go back it’s like reliving those horrible times. I start crying before the doctor even enters the room and then I say “sorry, I have anxiety around being at the doctors” and then that derails the entire appointment, the sole focus becomes them telling me I need mental health treatment. I already know that and I’m trying to find a therapist but it’s hard with the insurance I have and in my geographic area. But once I mention that I have anxiety they don’t even want to listen to any of my other physical health concerns they just write everything off as anxiety. 

How bad would it be for me to cancel extremely last minute or just no-show? It’s just a physical all they’re really gonna do is take my weight (another thing giving me anxiety and shame) and again tell me to seek mental health treatment.