TW: Cancer mention. I know some people don’t like reading about it (I know I don’t) so I figured I’d say it’s mentioned a lot 

So some background: 

I (19) was told last week my aunt has stomach cancer. My family didn’t want to tell me the severity of it because of my health anxiety (rightfully so imo but I still feel left out on the news of it all). Last Wednesday my sister called and told me it was Stage 4. Okay that’s fine you know? My grandmother and neighbor both had stage four cancers and they’re both 6 years strong and clear. She’ll be okay she’s 50 and very optimistic. My mom had called me a few days ago saying it hadn’t spread 

Well turns out that was a lie too. Today in passing my parents were talking and it’s apparently spread to her back.  

I just don’t know how to react. I’m currently going through a silent health anxiety scare right now (my whole arm is just completely sore for a week now but I think it’s some weird form of arthritis because I use this arm all the time and haven’t noticed any bumps or swelling). I should be reacting really poorly to this news, my other grandmother died almost a year ago to stage 4 bone cancer that spread all over her body. I’ve been a mess for months now because of it. So why is it now, after it seems like this is happening all over again, that I’m not reacting the way I thought I would be. I mean yeah, I’m very scared for her, I feel like I’m stressing out over it too in a way but not to the severity I feel like I would be. 

But I’m also nervous that my really bad health anxiety will come back and my pain will really cause issues when there’s obviously a greater problem in the family right now. I just need some comfort or some advice honestly. This turned more into a rant than I wanted it to. 

Anyways happy Easter to those who celebrate, wishing y’all a safe day