I’ve pretty much hit an all time low in my life. I have no friends, no family who I am close with, nobody; nothing to live for. 

I have had diagnosed crippling social anxiety and depression for the past 2 years now. They’ve both gotten so bad to the point that I haven’t left my house in over 4 months now.

The only stuff in my life that can actually bring me any ounce of happiness is Dragon Ball and other TV Shows that I enjoy, and even now I feel like the only reason I’m still even alive is because of waiting for Dragon Ball to do more stuff, but these things alone shouldn’t be the pillars of the reason I’m still alive.

And even though I’m only 17, I feel like I’ve seen everything reality and life has to offer. 

I don’t want to experience heartbreak, I don’t want to experience working a miserable job that I hate for the rest of my life, I don’t want to deal with the dysfunctional house that I live in anymore, I don’t want to deal with my loneliness and anxiety anymore, I don’t want to deal with my disorders and narcissism anymore; I just don’t want to be be alive anymore.

I am on the verge of killing myself, but I am really trying to find a reason to live.