I work so hard. I try so hard. But it never seems good enough. Every time I think I might catch a break.
 That this is my time to be happy. To have someone be my back up. That I have someone who loves me just the way I am. The good and the bad. The ugly too. It just goes away. It like I don't deserve it, but because life is cruel it's makes you believe for a while. It makes you think that finally it might be your turn. But then it spits in your face and laughs. Because how could you think for a second that it was your turn to be happy. You don't deserve that. Happiness is meant for others. You are just here to make them feel happy and then when you think it's your turn. You are reminded that your turn won't come. There are no turns. It you constantly giving it to the next one without ever being able to hold it yourself. It's never your turn. You don't get a turn.