Hey. Firstly the hi bit. Redditor for awhile but never thought to look for a BPD sub. Yay.

To the other bit, has anyone else said a big no to therapy? I'd gone through the pills and counsellors when my GP diagnosed depression/anxiety at around 14 through to 20. At 21, I got a referral to an ED/BPD specialist centre. Did the diagnostic interview, got assigned DBT via signing up to research. Lasted 3 sessions before I couldn't stand the therapist. 

I recognise nearly every thought can be pathologised, but I found the whole process somewhat condescending. For example, I mentioned that I would drive to the train station 10 minutes from home, then get the train the 50 minutes into the centre, because parking sucks in the CBD and my car sucks. I got the typical validation style response about how driving in the city can be really nerve racking... My car broke down (absolutely fucked) as soon as I hit the driveway on the way home and I realised that what he said was not really listening, and I felt an overwhelming sense of vindication. Every thought is a symptom, never an accurate thought formed on presented information. Disliking working in groups became a symptomatic thought and not a reasoned conclusion based on reading the social psychology research into group behaviours and personal experience. Every single element of myself became pathologised, and thus therapy shook the delicate foundation I had. They make the disorder your entire identity, which is a major no no in the treatment of basically every other mental and physical health condition.

I also found therapy made me want to SI more. Like, it pissed me off that it was considered crisis behavior since it was a daily thing, even when completely calm, so I felt the need to shove it in his face (probably a bad behavior). I stopped going to therapy, I stopped the SI...
The real kicker, if I had tried to raise any of these issues, I know it would have been played off as my doing the black and white thing. Was a stupid mistake to read information for treating professionals (joys of working in mental health) - there is a lot devoted to how to deal with critisism from a patient/client, and almost none of it involved changing.
Also, through a lazy GP, I got a copy of the diagnostic interview report, definitely confirmed my decision - highlights include promiscuity despite being 21 and having had a whopping 2 partners.


So, has anyone else said enough to therapy and found themselves happier for it?