Today was a good day. I was tired as I had stayed up late, I was out with friends. In the morning my son got to watch a little bit too much cartoons and I wasn't able to get us to go out, but we had a nice time and I was feeling happy. I've been feeling such lately, even with stressing things looming around me, due to TRE therapy I started last week. And then around 4 pm my son smacked my nose with a toy. It was an accident, but it hurt, a lot. And my body went into this serious anxiety mode. 

I didn't. Okay, I swore due to the pain, twice. Cried a bit. Told him it was ok. And that would have been it for me. But no, my body said NO. I couldn't get rid of this feeling of being desperately alone, scared and hurt at any point of the day (it's 1 am now and I should go to bed). This is super stupid. I cried while watching GoT's newest episode, and there was nothing weepy in that ep. I started crying over some silly picture on Imgur. And cried for like 15 minutes for no good reason. Reasons started to pop up into my mind after crying for 5 minutes, like "I'll never get married or find anyone who'd love me" (I just got dumbed a month ago) and such, even though I'm actually past that in my mind and have been fairly well even emotionally. 

This sucks. My body makes me feel things I don't want to. I was happy and content and suddenly the opposite. For NO reason at all. I hate BPD and how it has unlinked my body and my emotions (my therapist's words, those). I must TRE seriously tonight to ease this stupidness.