My wife was just diagnosed a week ago with Bipolar (BP) AND BPD but I suspect she could also be a narcisist with BPD &amp; BP instead. Here's the story:

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During our entire 4 yrs of marriage, I suspected that my wife might have Bipolar &amp; bpd and be a narcisist due to her behavior (splitting, manic episodes/hypomania, strong moods swings, anger, hypersexuality, feeling that NO RULES APPLIY TO HER, Always expecting me to do everything...never apologizing or showing remorse for her behavior etc etc). I also suspected multiple infidelities on her part (she'd flirt in front of people in front of me and seemed unable to control herself) but she always said she had NEVER cheated so I believed her. But on Saturday I received an anomymous e-mail with several copies of e-mails sent between my wife and her Ex (The Ex is married with 2 kids [6 &amp; 5 yrs old]). The e-mails are so EXPLICIT I can't even bring myself to try and post some of them here. In the e-mails she tells her Ex that she thinks I am too old for her (I'm 29, she's 38, smh) and that she wants a younger man. She said she likes men in their early 20s. Then she said she thinks I'm boring because I don't want to have 3-somes with her and other men and because I don't want to go "50 Shades of Grey" on her. In the e-mails she paints me as a horrid frigid asshole. But this description couldn't be farther from the truth! I ALWAYS initiate sex. SHE ALWAYS REJECTS ME. When I ask her why we don't have sex she says her anti-depressants have taken away her desire to have sex. But from the look and read of those e-mails, HER SEX DRIVE SEEMS FINE. Right now she's on a 72 hr hold at a psychiatric facility because she attempted suicide this Thursday by taking 35-50 pills of various kinds all at once. The suicide attempt happened BEFORE I found out she cheated. So that wasnt a factor as far as I know and we were not having an argument or fighting. When I asked her WHY she tried to kill herself she said she she did it because her new bipolar meds (She's was on Lamictal, 25mg/day, for 1 week) were making her feel suicidal. Then she said she already felt suicidal and that when she woke up that day from her nap and saw that I was gone she decided to end it all. She said "The car was gone and you were gone. I thought you left me for good. So I said 'Fuck it' and took all the pills". Basically, she decided to end her life because she thought I had left the marriage. I had her throw up then drove her to the emergency room where they monitored her and then she admitted herself into their psych ward. It seems her manic episode has turned into depression now because she stopped going to work and then tried to kill herself and then she put herself in psych. BUT... Going over the 30+ pages of e-mails and reading what she said...and how she said I am boring, that she wants to kick me out and get a divorce and reading her plans to met up with her ex and have sex and reading paragraph after paragraph opon age after page of her describing what shes going to do to her Ex sexually and of him responding and then both of them talking badly about me and the Ex encouraging my WIFE to leave me.... and my wife being happy about getting rid of me... All I can think is, "IF SHE HATES ME SO MUCH, WHY WOULD SHE COMMIT SUICIDE OVER ME JUST STEPPING OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR A BIT?" The saddest thing is that her e-mails completely explain why we never have sex (We only have sex 2 times a year) and WHY she's always rejecting me. Apperently she's been getting it elsewhere.
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 She said in the e-mail that we have become more of  friends and that we are not like husband and wife anymore (whst a painful thing to read). While what she said is true, its only true because she has made it this way by always rejecting me when I initiate sex and only speaking to me like a friend. She created this. Sadder than the above is the fact that she NEVER told me she wanted to do new things sexually. She also NEVER told me she wanted to have 3 somes. Granted I would never agree to that in my marriage but she never even gave me the opportunity to discuss it with her! A couple from her work kept inviting us to the strip club and Now I know why. Now I understand why she hangs out with couples so much. 

Seems to her the only thing worth going out for is drinking and sex. I have TRIED to get her out to the park, the beach etc etc, events, even tried to get her to go dancing with me... but no. She wont go. What wife wouldnt be thrilled to have their husband put so much effort into going out as I do? But to her if it doesnt involve other people (if theres no opportunity for sex with others) she is bored and isnt interested. Sorry but thats not my idea of fun. I dont know if thats the hypersexuality but IMO this is BEYOND wrong. And Im pissed. But idk what to do. 

When I confronted her about the infidelity during visiting hrs on Saturdsy, she had the audacity to ask "Well how old are the e-mails??" As if there was a statute of limitations on INFIDELITY. I said they were as recent as last week. She then said "Oh, he's just my friend. We were just playing." She actually TRIED to lied to me about it. I said, "This isn't playing. You both agreed on a time and a place to meet for sex and then ypu both went and met up for sex" She said "No we didn't. Nothing happened" But most likely something did happen. Then she corrected herdelf and said "We just met up to say 'Hi'" SMH... YEAH RIGHT. She then said "We were just role playing. It wasnt cheating. We were just chatting". 

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If she had caught me chatting that way, she would have made my life a living HELL. And definitely gotten a divorce and cried and yelled and destroyed half the town. She'd have turned into godzilla. That's how she is. But I'm supposed to just take her excuse and move on? THE WORST: SHE SMILED, DENIED IT WAS CHEATING, NEVER APOLOGIZED AND SHOWED NOOOO REMORSE. I asked how she'd feel if I had been the one chatting in that way and she said "Maybe you are chatting with others". I said "NOPE. I DO NOT entertain other women".* 

SMH she even did this... before I knew about the e-mails, while we were in the e.r. om Thursday, she saw a cavity in one of my mollars and said "You should get caps on that mollar because that cavity is getting worse" and I said "well I could if I had your good medical coverage but I dont so for now I'm gonna have to wait" and then she said "No nevermind because if you get your teeth fixed then you will leave me*" So SHE was ready to leave me last week but NOW She is afraid I will leave her? Im sorry but what kind of fuckery is this? 

I guess I should leave but since I cant work due to a medical problem, I have no family I can stay with and have no money to get another place its almost impossible to do so. So if I do leave her I would become homeless. 

Her last visitation was on Sunday, I went to see her and she had a little note written saying her heart was broken because I hadent called her at the psych ward all day. I didnt call because I was hurt about the fact that she cheated on me and was ready to have 3 somes and kick me out of our place. I explained this to her when I saw her and STILL she denied the cheating happened. What could posses someone to just NOT CARE ABOUT OTHERS FEELINGS!!!?? Can someone explain?

Not sure what to do and Im wondering what the mindset behind this behavior is?