*I’m diagnosed with generalized anxiety, panic disorder, BPD, C-PTSD.

I've always dreamt of a deep, romantic relationship. But I prefer this to stay in my head.

Even when there is the slightest hint that someone likes me, I immediately run away. 
I get so scared (up to a panic attack) that I don't see any other way out than to avoid it. 

Perhaps I will die alone, but I am very much afraid of being hurt and abandoned again. That is a difficult topic for me.

How do you deal with this? What helps you?