I’ve been having very severe, very confusing, and very embarrassing “tantrums” lately. It seems like it started happening so badly when I stopped doing seasonal work around 6 months ago and moved into an apartment in the city. 
Basically I lose control of my own brain. I cannot find any words to express my feelings and just cry uncontrollably. I am not verbally responsive to those around me. I sometimes scream and throw around things in my house. I have pushed my boyfriend for trying to interfere. I feel scared of him when he tries to console me. 
It seems that these meltdowns are triggered by small things– people make me feel uncomfortable, certain smells or sounds I feel like I can’t be around, things not being done the right way, feeling sweaty or dirty. 
I tried a couple weeks ago to go see a psychiatrist because I think I need professional help and it went terribly. I tried to describe the above and she did not understand. She told me “it’s not that you can’t say things, it’s that you don’t want to say difficult things.” I was very upset that she said this. Then she proceeded to (from my understanding) bully me into having the exact meltdown I had tried to explain. We got nothing done and I left the office in tears unable to get myself home. 
I want to try seeing a professional again but I’m scared of a similar outcome. What should I say? She seemed to want me to be able to tell her what was happening to me but that’s the issue- I have no idea.