For context, I'm 27F. Before quarantine, I had a tight group of girlfriends and I felt very secure. Over the past year, the group isn't as tight, naturally, and people have started hanging out more 1 on 1. Totally understandable. My closest friend in the group and I had a falling out, which I know was the best thing for me because she was being controlling while also withdrawing from me and it was making me act needy and I was losing sight of myself so that I could make sure we were "good" all the tine.  ANYWAYS, I am now realizing that some of my other friends from this group are not as close of friends as I once thought. Many of them never reach out to me and I'm the one always reaching out to them. I've decided to try to make new friends so that less pressure is on these older friendships. Bumble BFF has helped a lot! But I still feel crappy about my other friendships dying out, especially bc I see things on social media that give me FOMO.

I think that I had this expectation that my life would be like Friends -- like a super tight knit group of people -- and now I'm realizing that I might be a person who has just a few closer friends and the rest are just fun to hang out with casually every once in a while.  Rationally, I'm fine with that, but then I see on instagrams that friends are hanging out without me and that makes me feel like shit (and rationally I know that my friends don't have to invite me to every single thing).

Does anyone else think about similar things? Not even sure if this all makes sense. I just want to be comfortable with where I am with my friendships and right now I feel very vulnerable and shitty. 

**TLDR; My anxious brain has been thinking a lot about what role friendship should even play in my life... are they an accessory? Are they at the forefront, just as important as my relationship with my boyfriend?**