I’ve been going through this same phase in my life for years. i feel like if my main symptom wasn’t a fast/ hard heartbeat then it might’ve been more bearable. it’s like my brain can’t comprehend any kind of excitement, anticipation, or fear without going into shock. it all leads back to anxiety. i’m convinced my cause of death will be something heart related at this point. i’d rather never experience anxiety again even if that means my “fight or flight “ senses are off when i actually need them. anxiety/panic makes life seem like such a cruel joke