I love an older guy diagnosed with bpd. A lot of the time he is kind, funny, attentive. But sometimes out of nowhere I feel the energy change and him pulling away. Or he might start snapping at me.I want to help him but I don’t want to make him upset. 

We’ve been talking as friends for over a year. But the situation has complicated. He originally said he wanted to move in together and be a couple together etc. But we stopped talking for a few months. I feel like I’ve already been through the devaluation stage. As he used to say sweet things about me all the time about how I was pretty, perfect, a princess etc. He started speaking badly about me when he stopped talking to me those months and praising other girls when he knew I was around. And he started talking to other girls immediately. One a mutual friend. 

Those months we didn’t talk I was in agony. Missing him everyday and night. Crying all the time. I felt emotionally drained. My whole world revolved around him. I wanted to speak to him everyday and just have him back in my life. I’m currently in the process of having my own mental health diagnosed as well. 

We’ve recently been building on making things better. And I feel so happy around him and always wanna make him happy. I once told him I would do anything for him and he said he knew I would. He still wants more than friendship with me. But I’m not clear on what I am classed as now. He hasn’t brought up moving in together. But seems happy when I offer him coupley things. 

He still talks to other girls and I’m trying to be open about that and understanding. Because I genuinely care and love him. Although I’ve also been hurt and can get jealous of all the compliments etc he gives them that he used to give me. I told him this too, he said he understood. But asks me for things like threesomes and to film intimacy. He told me he doesn’t like me saying no. He’ll like a girls picture and tell me how good she looks, how pretty and how much he likes the picture. I’m not sure if it’s to deliberately cause a reaction, or he wants me to be into it, or to put me down and make me feel insecure/ugly. Or he just likes it and isn’t thinking about me. 

Any advice or help on the situation 💕