I was diagnosed as bipolar and bpd about three months ago. I had never known that this is what was going on with me, that I had any mental illness. But it is something that has affected and eventually caused me to ruin every romantic relationship I've had. 
This time I know I split on the man I love. For 6 months I was in deep depression and wanted to be around him but couldn't emotionally be present. One day I loved him and wanted to be with him every second. The next I'd be so annoyed and not want to be touched by him or around him. 
I hurt him so so badly by being this way. He felt like I abandoned him. He said I made him feel like a piece of garbage, that I couldn't be there for him when he needed me. That I left him all alone. And I thought the best thing to do would be to break up because I didn't want to hurt him anymore. 
And now I've been diagnosed. I've been working so hard with my therapist and finally after trial and error found a medication that works. It's like a lightbulb was turned on. The storm went away and I can see again. I feel like me for the first time in over a year. And I can finally be all the things I couldn't be for him. But now he doesn't want me. I pushed him to move on and he did. Less than a month after we broke up. With the person he had been going to for emotional support while we were together. He says he still loves me but that he can't get over the things I did to him. That I hurt him too much. 
I don't know what to do. The guilt, shame for my actions, knowing that I hurt him so bad that he's afraid of trying to be with me again. His fear outweighs his love. And I can't deal with it. 
Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this sort of heartbreak? The worst part is we live together so I can't even escape being around him.  Please, friends. Help a girl in pain out.