I've got a rare day off today so - naturally - tried to hang out with my (toxic) ex last night (one day I'll kick the habit - I promise). I knew that, despite having been pretty positive about the prospect, he's very volatile and would undoubtedly change his mind - which I knew would potentially lead me to spiral.

So on my notepad at my work desk, I wrote a little "ICE" (in case of emergency) of things I could do if he said no (which obviously he did cause he says he's too depressed to leave the house after how he treated me the other weekend). I just wrote "ICE: go buy scarf and gloves, and digestive enzymes/calcium supplements". All positive things and using the money I would've undoubtedly spent on wine if he'd come over. 

Instead of spiralling and my night off looking like an endless abyss that only justified how alone I feel; I distracted myself with that list, did the things on it and got home with only the energy to cook dinner for my flatmate and I, then sleep. Didn't cry, didn't cut, didn't even flip out on him that much. 

Possibly a good technique if anyone else finds them way too vulnerable/sensitive to decisions that affect them that are out of their hands, or people whose emotions lie too heavily on such decisions? 
