Hi everyone. I hope that with all that is going on right now in the world, that you have been able to take time for yourselves as well &lt;3    


I'm popping on here because I believe I have BPD. I started seeing a therapist last summer due to having concerns about this. I've read through *I Hate You, Don't Leave Me,* and this book only strengthened my belief that I have borderline. Most people I talk to or tell about this see me as relatively normal. The therapist I saw last year was reluctant to confirm my suspicions-- she told me that I struggled with depression, anxiety, and emotional regulation due to childhood trauma/lack of ability to separate in a healthy way from my parents.   


During one session, she finally started listening to me when I said I was pretty sure I had borderline, and she asked me to explain to her which symptoms I felt I related to. I listed off the 9 symptoms and explained which ones were present in myself. At the end of this, she still was reluctant to say that I had borderline, but she conceded by saying that I could be "on the spectrum." During the few months I saw her, we worked through my feelings of emptiness and my constant need for external validation.   


Fast forward to this April-- I met with a psychiatrist for the first time, and I explained that I struggled with depression, anxiety, and what I believed to be borderline symptoms. He patiently listened as I went through the list of symptoms for BPD and explained how most of them aligned with my thinking/behavior. He kindly explained to me that since I'm in my early 20s, it's too early to diagnose me with a personality disorder, and a lot of what I experienced could be explained by depression/anxiety.   


He may be right, but I can't shake the fact that borderline is the one condition that could explain why I have felt for so many years that something is "wrong" with me. When I say "wrong," I mean that I know the way I perceive others and their actions is not in accordance with what may truly be happening.   


tl;dr-- every mental health professional I work with is reluctant to say I have borderline, and only 3 people who have gotten closer to me than anyone else will actually say that they can see it in me. Everyone else thinks I'm "normal" ie. not borderline, probably because I'm a quiet borderline. ***What I'm wondering is-- how important do you think a diagnosis is? Is there a reason psychiatrists may be hesitant to diagnose someone with BPD?***