Also I'm a horrible person for being anxious about that.

It's only been a week since the funeral and she's the one who suggested we meet, but I think it's only because I'm traveling abroad soon. Anyway, I'm just really anxious because I keep trying to play the meeting out in my head and it seems like anything I would do or say is wrong. Either I'm treating her differently or acting like nothing happened, or just walking on eggshells. And other than the obvious discussion about her loss, what normal conversation things can I say? *Hey, how's it going? What's been new with you?... even though you lost a parent a week ago and probably don't care about any mundane things right now.*

How do we spend our time? If I suggest the things we normally do together, am I putting her in a position where she has to pretend she's okay? But what else can we do?

I care about her a lot and it's important to me that I be there for her, but I'm just horrible when it comes to emotional stuff, comforting, figuring out what people need, what's appropriate... I can't help but think I'm just going to mess up, or be awkward and make her feel worse.