I’m sorry if I’m using the wrong flair I just want to make sure nobody gets triggered here by what I’m asking even if it may not be triggering. 

Also tl;dr at bottom if you don’t want to read the background about me

A bit of background:

Anyway I feel like I’ve been living in denial for years now, I’ve always had trouble staying consistent with things, would get a sinking feeling when I have to do any mundane task, such as going to the bank/store or socialize (even though I love it). And this has culminated now during lockdown where my anxiety has incapacitated me and I can’t do but the bare minimum for existence. 

For example I have to apply for masters because I want to continue my education, but... I just can’t... Like there’s something that just tells me “you wont get accepted”, “you’re missing some prerequisites”, “you won’t have money to pay it off” and so on, as a result I’ve been putting it off for months now. This has made me completely depressed and life just sucks now, nothing is enjoyable anymore. And I’m fucking sick of this shit and I hate it, I just want to do normal things like a normal person. So, I’m going to therapy for the first time tomorrow and am really excited.


But at the same time I also feel like I’m over exaggerating. I’m slightly tired, so now I’m thinking to myself wether I’m just being dramatic and I’ll feel fine tomorrow. Did anyone else feel like this? I’m very confused right now and have no idea what to think, but regardless I’m going to a psychiatrist tomorrow. Did anyone else feel like this?

Tl;dr:

Feel like I’ve been living in denial of my anxiety/depression for years now, but at the same time I feel that I’m being dramatic and actually fine. Did anyone else feel like this? I’m very confused and don’t know how to feel right now