Hi,

For the past month I have been completely unable to stop ruminating on bad things i have done in the past. My mind is occupied with these thoughts for approximately 70% of the waking day and it is severely impacting my mental health.

Several years ago I stupidly took magic mushrooms in Thailand. At the time of taking them I had been lead to believe that they were legal (Stupid I know), but at the time I was incredibly intoxicated and they were sold at a very nice bar which lead me to believe that they were infact legal. The day after I took them i did in fact realise that they weren't legal but wasn't crippled with anxiety as I am now, I was only slightly regretful - I believe this is because at the time I was heavily depressed and had in fact gone to Thailand for the purposes of procuring a barbiturate known as Nembutal to commit suicide with. Obviously I didn't end up doing it and carried on with life for another 4 years or so.

For reasons unbeknownst to me I have recently been mentally crippled with anxiety over me taking them. Every time I think of it I get heart palpitations and chest pains and I can feel my eyes start welling with tears. My nerves are worsened as I can't help but research what the penalties are for such crimes and when I imagine serving a possible 15-year sentence with a typical Thai prison I struggle breathing. In my head, I can't help but envision a scenario in which I was arrested for taking them and getting sentenced to 15 years in a Thai prison and how disappointed my family would be.

I can't stand it anymore, I've drunk alcohol over the past few days (only to the point of tipsiness) to alleviate my nerves, but they always return when I sober up. Anyone have any suggestions for ways of alleviating my symptoms? Would medication work? I have previously taken Zoloft, but doubt it would be effective for this.