bruh this is infuriating. it’s unbelievable. Borderline Personality Disorder, or EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE Personality Disorder …

i can’t handle my OWN EMOTIONS. my OWN emotions are unstable and I’m already so extremely overwhelmed trying to regulate my own emotions…

and bpd brain is like “OHH!!!! OHH WAIT LET ME ADD MORE TO YOUR OVERFLOWING PLATE!!”

LETS ALSO CONSTANTLY WORRY AND OBSESS OVER EVERYONE ELSES EMOTIONS TOO!!!!!!

like i had to reschedule a date, and my brain goes back and forth feeling super sad and guilty that i can’t see her, AND obsessing over how much she must hate me and be losing interest for rescheduling 

my personal sadness and guilt is ALREADY too much too handle, and on top of that i have her perceived hate and loss of interest 

2 sets of emotions, 2 sources, 2 obsessions. TOO. FUCKING. MUCH. 

If emotionally unstable personally disorder was truly only about the unstable emotions within myself, i might be able to manage. But when it’s also blended with every perceived emotion of every single person i interact with… i feel like there’s no escape.