I started dating a girl with bpd, and this is mostly why I am here. I love this person, and I want to learn as much as possible. O The irony in all this is that I'm learning that I could moderately have bpd the more I dive into detail about the disorder. I strangely seem to have this huge personal blind spot, that only shows up through others (i.e., I didn't know I was trans until I became empathetic and researched how transgender was truly defined).

I'll tryyyy to make this short. So, in theory, lets say we both have bpd. Her's is much more "physical" and officially diagnosed. She takes lots of meds, while I take literally one based on anxiety/depression (SSNRI).  She has delusions while at most I have a sensitivity to abandonment, and I tend to pre-mourn the death of my relationships, family relationships included (I am convinced they are over in my own imagination, based purely on conjecture)

To simplify, lets say she has bpd and I merely have a portion of symptoms of a lesser severity. During her first bout of disassociation, she hasn't contacted me for over a week now. Before my knowledge of bpd (I stupidly shrugged and "oh yeah that", speed defining the definition when I had ZERO clue of what it truly meant &amp; affected lives) I read her silence as the first stages of a breakup. My abandonment sensitivity kicked in, even though the two weeks together at my place was an amazing bonding experience. It made no logical sense to me unless A) she liked someone better or B) she pretended to like me, only playing the role of enjoying my company for two weeks.

Now I understand the core of bpd - it's more her bpd and not about me.  I guess now I'm wondering what to do during our severed connection. Obviously I have to wait it out, but I wish I knew what she was feeling. Is it the fear of abandonment with her losing hope, thinking that myself or no one on earth values her, or is it the extreme opposite to where she is very smothered socially?

Not knowing which of the two is hard. Where do I go from here - send here a tiny message showing I'm thinking of her, or is that like dumping molten lava on her and is silence best?  What will happen when she is ready to associate with me again? Is this like some kind of trance to where she will snap out of her current state and be like "oh wow I'm sorry that happened. Hi I missed you!"
It's strange feeling as if I'm waiting for someone to awaken from a coma.  Like I said, I've only scratched the surface in trying to understand bpd so bear with me.