So my boyfriend (34/M) and I (28/F) are healthcare workers. His birthday is a month after mine. On my birthday he took me on a trip because I love travelling. He was able to do that because he could afford it. For his birthday, I spent months planning a collection of small gifts based on things he said he liked - like a hulk themed pop socket, batman socks, goku keychain etc. and also baked him a cake which was lemon flavoured because thats his favourite flavour. All this, while being murdered at work - to give some context - I spent the evening baking his cake after having gruelling meetings and an exam and after giving it to him at 12am I had to make a powerpoint presentation from 2-3:30 because I had to present it in the next five hours and I spent the eveni g painstakingly wrapping his gifts and hiding them in a large box with thermocol balls so he could have a good time looking for them, you get the drift - however I could not take him out for dinner or such because after giving the gift I had a lot of work to finish. (I am an internal medicine resident while he has finished his residency in dermatology and has a more relaxed practice) I also sent him flowers .

Evening of his birthday he cried saying he misses his family and friends and the next day he tells me he missed them because I didnt organise a good enough birthday for him and that he felt bad that I was so lost at work that I didnt have enough time for him. I feel gutted because even though I had no time to spare, I felt like I had done the best to ensure that I could do what I can. Then he asked me if I would be happy if he just baked a cake and gave a random gift like I did which just added insult to injury.

We have been having issues where he feels I do not contribute enough to the relationship though I have tried my hardest to change and put in effort. I find his expectations unmanageable. He said he has tried adjusting expectations but he ends up being unhappy while doing the same. I do not want to feel like I am never enough. I feel like a better man would be able to appreciate all that I did for him. This feels like an impasse - I had wanted it to work out with him but I am realising that there may not be a good outcome even if I stick it out or try to work harder. What should I do?

The thing is, I have acted this same way to my previous FP and now I am becoming more leaning towards securely attached and my boyfriend doing this towards me is really disheartening and is making me regret the way I acted towards my past FP.

Tl;dr - Boyfriend has too high expectations and doesnt appreciate what i do for him. What to do?