I notice a lot of people say they learned from their past experiences/bad relationships. I watch my friends break up with their abusers or leave a toxic friendship/relationship and slowly start to come back to life again. They start to almost glow.

I’m not the same. Relationships ending does nothing but pack on trauma. I don’t start thriving after leaving a bad one either. It just brews within me as I get more depressed/traumatized.

I’ve had 3 relationships in my life. They’ve all been crappy in their own ways. I realized I end up “carrying over” my insecurities and problems from the past relationships to the next relationship instead of really learning a lesson from them.

Not sure if it’s BPD, or PTSD, or just depression. I just know it’s annoying.