my partner has BPD, and we had a really rough go in our relationship because I wasn’t aware of his BPD, and even for a while after I found out I didn’t know how to handle his reactions. after researching and better analyzing and listening to him when he has an episode (i hope thats an okay word to use for it, basically whenever he gets extremely upset and scared and angry) i learned to better handle them. we don’t fight nearly as much now, and even when we do it doesn’t take such an emotional toll on either of us. I demonized him for a while, and at some point even tried to leave because of how hurt and scared I was. this was mostly because I didn’t understand his emotions, and why he reacted so strongly to things, and i took them more personally than they were. but now, even when he’s calling me selfish and vilifying me, I can tell he’s just scared, and hurt. so i listen, i validate his feelings even when i don’t fully understand them, and i let him calm down and then we talk about what solutions there are. i remind him I’m here and I’m not going to leave, and i tell him i love him.

the point of me saying this is, people with bpd can be loved. you all deserve to be loved. I love my partner with all of me, and it makes me so heartbroken to see how much this disorder hurts him. please know that there are people out there who will take the time to learn and understand bpd, it doesn’t stop you from having good, healthy relationships.