One year ago, I was happy with my girlfriend, my studies, my friends, everything. 

I had fallen in love with her during that year, 2021, even though I knew from the start that she was applying to a foreign exchange program in spain and that we'd have to split up. 
In february, she left. I became single again. We decided not to try long distance because it was a long time (6 months), equal the time we had been formally together (informally we were together for about 14 months). 

In march, a close childhood friend killed himself. That obviously got into my head and to make matters worse most of my support group, my other friends from school, were also unwell from it so we all kind of isolated ourselved instead of helping each other out. 

In april, I slept with a girl who I didn't call back and she started saying that I had abused her. I'm convinced that everything that happened was 100% consensual but  that episode still fucked me up big time. Before I was with my gf I slept around alot and I kinda based my self-esteem on that. After this happened I never pursued casual sex again, and compounded with everything else I fell into a pit of harcore porn addiction. 

I also have a jackass drug addict uncle who crashed my family's car, that caused a lot of tension inside my home (I still live with my parents, mom was extremely upset with my dad for lending him the car and my siblings took sides). 

Anyways, the mixture of missing the girl I had fallen in love with, the suicide of a friend, the guilt of feeling like an abuser, the fear of being shamed for it, and the family trouble sent me downhill.

I lost 20 pounds, I spent copious ammounts of money on weed, I started to jerk off multiple times a day, among other fucking toxic behaviour. 

Girl came back from exchange about a month ago, says that she thought of me a lot, that she didn't sleep with anybody, wants to get back together bc she loves me, etc. I said yes. 

Problem is that i don't feel like i love her anymore, not her specifically, I feel like I don't love anything anymore, I don't really enjoy many things in life I feel like  a zombie just doing the motions and indulging in self-destructive behaviour. I want to love her and feel like I did a year ago but just don't. What should I do?