I notice now that everytime I think about anything remotely related to getting older, growing up, etc I start to cry uncontrollably. I want to live in the present so bad. When I was enrolling for highschool I remember crying for an hour, only because I was getting older. And now I'm writing a resume, I'm so overwhelmed and can't do it. I've been crying for thirty minutes and my family is looking at me like I'm crazy. I remember telling my friend I wanted to stay a child forever and they said it was such a weird thing to think, that I wouldn't have any responsibilities or agency and I just thought that would be the ideal life. I don't think anyone understands that I don't just dislike getting older, but I have actual breakdowns over it. Everyday is just a reminder that I'm getting older. I really can't take it.