I’ve been talking to this person for around two months. We’ve never met - we met through IG, they messaged me first. At the beginning of us talking, I told them I wasn’t ready to meet because (and this is actually true) I’d put on a lot of weight and just wasn’t feeling my best. They said OK, that’s fine. We carried on talking. 

We are now going to be meeting this coming week, and as the day gets closer, the more I am convinced that they’re going to find me really ugly. I have been constantly looking at myself in different outfits in the mirror, and taking countless selfies. At times I feel confident in what I look like, but I’m just mostly convinced that this person is going to find me the most hideous person on the planet. 

I even worry that they’re going to see something like the back of my head, and decide I’m ugly, or see the way my hands move, and decide I’m unattractive from that. I can’t work out what I look like to an external person - I have my own image of myself, but I don’t know what others are seeing. This person’s seen many photos of me - even ones I’ve hated - and has constantly expressed finding me attractive.

It’s just really stressing me out. No one has ever told me I’m ugly, and I’ve had several partners in the last, so I can’t really be this hideous thing I feel I am? I can’t cancel either, because I feel like at two months it’s definitely time to just meet. 

I hate this so much. If I could, I’d just block this person and disappear. Am I alone in experiencing something like this??