I've found myself getting extremely anxious so much more often the last two months, i dont remember a night where ive had a normal dream(one that doesn't require me waking up scared)



I cant live up to my potential at all, like this huge thing impacting my every desicion and every daily aspect, barely leaving my house



There's nights where i think about calling the suicide hotline just to talk to someone understanding about it, ive told my family and they dont really say much (besides telling me to socialize more which is preety hard considering)



Ive decided to restart going to the gym tommorow, first time in such a long time, maybe go to a tech meet that is next Thursday make some friends there, i want to try anything and keep trying because im losing control here



You dont have to read this part i just need to say it somewhere:

my worst anxiety is the persistent medical anxiety ive had ever since i had to deal with getting covid way back, not that i had it bad, just that the news had me so messed up that i thought i would indirectly kill someone in my family and i cant get my mind off medical issues ever since, ive been to expensive doctors for things i dont have just because my anxiety keeps telling me they're there and its always acting up finding something else