I've lived with emetophobia most of my life which to this day, is crippling in my every day life. I have good days and bad, I've made some progress, but not nearly enough. With this phobia comes other fears, like fear of getting cancer or food in fear that I may throw up. 

After having seen some family members be diagnosed with various types of cancers and go through treatment, it's been haunting me just how common cancer is. Within the US, one in every three people, almost one in two, (40% precisely) will be diagnosed with cancer at some point in their lives. I see cancer risks quite literally everywhere, even in some foods. It feels impossible to avoid anything that is a cancer risk, even something as small as lighting a candle. 

I'm young and live in a relatively healthy lifestyle, so I understand that my risks are low, but with the number of people i know that have battled cancer (some who won and others who lost), it's absolutely frightening to imagine something like that happening to me.  At this point, I can't enjoy any of the small things in life without feeling like it's going to happen to me. 

I've finally gotten health insurance that covers therapy, but realized that it doesn't mean anything because the number of therapists that are in-network is basically squat. American healthcare sucks.