I just turned 21, grew up with less than ideal circumstances, been struggling with depression since I was at least 11, general life n financial circumstances keep getting worse as time goes by, been trying to make positive changes in my life - started working out, eating good, socialising. Nothing works, I don’t think I’m strong enough to keep going for the rest of my life, the past 21 years have been hard enough, had to support myself since 16, it’s like I’ve had no childhood and I’ll never be able to gain those years back. Pissed away the last 3yrs at art school - personal life and the pandemic have burnt me out and I’ve lost all passion in the one thing I loved which is art. I don’t think I’m strong enough to keep going, as days go by I feel like I’m getting weaker and weaker, I don’t think I can take any of this anymore and I don’t see any real solution. The one thing that kept me from kms for years was the idea of how much it would hurt my little sisters, but now not even that feels like a good enough reason to stick around, I don’t feel like I was ever meant to live in the first place and I don’t want to anymore, the past 21 years have been hard enough and these are meant to be the best years of my life, I can’t do it anymore I don’t want to