I’m struggling with chronic major depressive disorder and I felt a real low. I feel like it’s getting a little bit better but it still feels like darkness. I still want to sleep because I don’t have friends to energize me. And even if I did, I’d just complain about how no one seems to understand my depression. Because I always get the “it gets better”. Yea that’s probably true but I’m angry and impatient. I’ve been suffering this for years. You’re gonna tell me it gets better? Suffer for years in a society that won’t accept you first before telling me it’s gonna be ok. 

I’m trying to look for hope to get better… but everything… it sucks. Nothing is worse to me than listening to a song that used to make me happy and now it’s no numbing it feels like background music. 

I’m inside. All day. With a dollar to my name. The only people that keep my company are the own personalities in my head. 

I’m tired of this. I want better. Please? Please make it better. I wanna be happy. I wanna know what that feels like again. Please.