cw: pregnancy loss 

I went to a wedding recently, and had a miscarriage a few days before, so was feeling emotionally and physically in the gutter. I’d spent all week with my boyfriend at my side supporting me and hadn’t left the house in a week. The wedding had a no partners rule so I went alone. My ex boyfriend was there and for some reason they let him
bring his new girlfriend, so I felt really kind of  vulnerable, especially because I’ve been with my new partner for longer than those two have been together. 

All during the wedding all I could do was think about how much I wish I had my boyfriend there. I felt everyone was looking at me because everyone knows my ex was there and thinking I was lame. It was a beautiful wedding for two people I care a lot about and I feel I was just super wrapped up in myself and a bad friend to the couple. Everyone else there was successful and happy and I am at such a low point in my life I couldn’t help just compare my selves to them. I went off to go have a cry at one point because my phone died and I couldn’t text my boyfriend anymore, and I’m worried people thought I was crying because my ex was there or making some drama. I feel incredibly paranoid I ruined it for everyone, which I know is stupid, but it’s like a voice in my head all the time. 

Looking for some ways to stay positive, feel better about it and try to think more rationally