Its been 2 years. They weren't good to me and cheated on me but i smothered them, not knowing i had bpd until they broke up with me. I dream of them constantly and cry constantly and theyre always in my thoughts. I just have this stupid hope that I'll get a message and everything will work out with us. We haven't spoken for a year and a half. Is this my bpd? I feel pathetic. Does anyone else feel this way?