I'm glad that I get to spend a little more time with my family for a short time, but this time of year also reminds me how much my friends have moved on from me since college. I try to keep up with everyone so I don't feel as lonely, but I stopped recently because it felt like they didn't want to talk to me when we were on the phone, take forever to respond to texts and only with one word, and never initiated anything. We met up over the weekend, and apparently everyone except for me is super in touch and planning things together all the time. Hurts.

My other friend group, they decide to meet up without saying anything. The only reason I found out is because one of their girlfriends that was there texted me to see if I wanted to go over when they were about to leave. Bless her, she's literally the only person outside of my family that actually tries to keep in contact. I drove 6 hours both ways to see one of them when they went to grad school, and they couldn't be arsed to see me when they're in town. Hurts.

I'd love to find some new friends, because these ones make me feel like shit. Like, is there something seriously that wrong with me that this many people just don't care about me after knowing each other for 10+ years now. My social anxiety is really bad, so I feel like I'm just stuck with them for now.