I have been fighting depression due to neglict and abuse when I was a kid. I’ve lost every friend I have ever had due to my depression and over thinking. This new situation is gonna be the end of me.

I am fighting with my best friend over catching feelings for her. I asked 3 weeks ago to talk in person about this and was promised it would happen and she wouldn’t run and abandon me like everyone else in my life did. I have asked her so much just to talk in person I just want to feel the emotions and understand her point of view and feel understood myself. Why won’t she talk in person but will text everything to me? Am I just that worthless that i don’t matter? I feel like I should just give up, she wants a couple days to think she keeps saying but when I give her a couple days and ask if she’s ready she just gets mad and attacks me verbally. I’m being blamed for purposely doing things just to punish her when I’m not, and I’m just so hurt and confused. 

Just needed to say it to someone I guess.