Okay, hi! 
To give you a bit of context, I have been unhappy with my weight for a while now, always trying new methods and diets and exercises to lose weight, which I would usually all regain and then some after a week or two because I can't stick to a routine for shit. That's just how it's always been, and it's a fact that I don't have the discipline it would need for me to really lose weight. 

Okay, now that that's out of the way, let's get to the point. For the past two months or so, I've had a really bad time with anxiety, waking up and going to bed with the same, terrible feeling of nervousness and fear in my entire body. During those two months, I've worried myself sick to the point where I would take bites of food and immediately feel like my stomach doesn't even want food, what made my anxiety worse too. The anxiety doesn't have anything to do with the food per se, neither does the food with my anxiety either, it's just the physical activity of eating that I've been struggling with due to my constant fear and worry. 

Ever since it's been that bad, I've been continueing to lose pound after pound without even really trying to do so. People have started telling me how sick I look ever since. It's not even that I'm not hungry at all, because I am, it's just...whenever I am in the process of eating or making food, it feels like my stomach tightens and my throat closes up, as if I was physically unable to really get any, or just very little food down my throat. And when I do eat a normal portion of food, I'll feel sick for hours after, making me not feel like eating again that day. 

And even though I am somehow still happy about losing weight (it's really been a struggle for me to do so, so just the reassurance that it's possible for me feels good), I don't want to lose any more weight. Not because I am now magically happy with myself and my body, but because it's always making me worry that I am physically ill and I'm gonna die in a day or so, making the anxiety worse and making me eat even less...it's truely a viscious circle. 

Only a few people I'm really close to know about this issue, and some even tell me to just be happy that I'm losing weight, but they don't understand what it feels like to have panic attacks over not getting a piece of toast down my throat. 

I've previously gone to the doctor to get me checked out for that stuff, especially since I had been experiencing even more, scary symptoms of bad anxiety. Even though my body is apparently physically okay, my mind still tells me that I probably have terrible illnesses and I'm gonna die in my sleep anyways, making me not want to do that really either. It's truely been quiete the struggle...

Anyways, thank you, whoever decided to read this little (okay pretty long, actually) rant...has anyone else ever experience food struggles as a symptom of anxiety? If yeah, how did/do you cope with it? 

I'm wishing all of you well, I hope we'll all get a chance to be okay at some point!