im a 30 year old man.  I have what I call "debilitating social anxiety".  I have no friends. so I go out place alone and every interaction I have with someone feels like a failure and I get so mad at myself for being a stupid idiot that I grab a sharp key from my keychain and start scratching at my arm until it bleeds.  

I never used to do this.  As I'm getting older, i'm losing hope and the regret of wasting my youth is building up too much.