I don't notice any new observations, I barely notice any observations at all regarding stuff I do or stuff I see and hear. When they're noticed they're not really processed, they don't make sense and they're not put into context

I don't think of new things to try out often enough. I repeat the same behaviours over and over again as an extreme automatic mode that won't shut off or when partially out of automatic mode it's kept with rationalised excuses like "I CAN'T think of anything else to do I'm NOT CAPABLE of it".

I also just don't know what's out there to learn: I simply haven't looked at anything new for many many years, and BC I go to the same stuff again and again I mistake that for "learning" and I get the impression I don't want to learn BC I'm bored and unmotivated, sometimes due to extreme underconfidence or simply not enough understanding on a topic or fine detail

Help?