Recently I've come to the realization that I have most likely been abused by my partner for the past 6 years. I was hesitant to acknowledge it, even just to myself, because I am ashamed of the ways I respond to his behavior. I'm also ashamed of being manipulated for so long. I'm humiliated and exhausted, and I want out. I don't even hate him or anything—he's learned this set of behaviors due to childhood trauma, and he's most likely unaware of the harm he is inflicting on me. He thinks it's "normal", and I must be delusional if I believe otherwise. I feel so much empathy for him and what he went through, but I can't do it anymore.

I have business to finish up in my home state, so I think I'll be stuck here for at least another 4 months. I don't have anywhere else I can go. So in order to cope with my predicament, I've been daydreaming nonstop of moving to another state to live with my mom, since she has been begging me to move there anyway. She has promised to help me get back on my feet, go to school, get medical care, etc. It's pretty much the only thing keeping me sane. Oddly, it makes me a lot calmer around my partner, since I know (or at least hope) it will be over soon.

I'm really worried I will get sucked in yet again and keep trying to make it work, though. How do I stand my ground and stay rational about the situation, instead of continuing to trap myself in an endless cycle of "fixing" a relationship with someone that overwhelmingly benefits from hurting me?