Apologies for the long post but I need to get this out there and see if anyone resonates with this/has advice...

Historically ive never been a depressed person, however, after years of significant negative events depression is really starting to become a problem in my life and I'm reaching a point of desperation. The timing of events in my life has been nothing short of debilitating.   

\- Basically, both my parents are extreme covert narcissists who wound up showing their true colors/divorcing at a really inconvenient time when I was in College. They never told me they were planning this and put on a good act before pulling the rug out and acting like total cunts about it. 

\- My younger brother on the side while all this is going on gets diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and expresses his own depression/suicidal thoughts while my parents don't really care. 

\- Wound up having to move in with my grandmother (my own decision) due to one of my parents moving for a job on the opposite coast, and the other family member re-marrying a total psychopath. My Grandma I was staying with wound up getting cancer a year later and eventually dying not long after. 

\- Long story short and fast forward a couple years, I finally get that "fabled" corporate job I went to college for some years later just to realize I hated the field and working in an office, toxic coworkers etc. Wound up quitting about a year in and this job was the straw that broke the camels back.

\- After quitting this job back in late 2018 my social network collapsed, friends moved, more family relationships were strained, I was living back with one of my parents, and my depression absolutely soared. It got to the point where I couldn't get out of bed and the entire year of 2019 was a total blur. I legit don't remember anything about it. Im pretty sure I could have easily gotten diagnosed with clinical severe depression. It legit felt like being in a coma. 

\- I will leave detailed side problems out of this story such as living next to a neighbor from hell who committed soft vandalism multiple times and we nearly had to call the cops multiple times before they finally move in 2020 or my parents second divorce which turned ugly with legal threats, OR my other parents re-marriage which cause even more problems etc to this day.

\- Then 2020 hits...perfect. Fantastic. I get laid off from a job I was working and my savings have been doing a swan dive since.  

Anyone feel like they have gotten the shit beaten out of them by life? Im at a point especially given the pandemic where its super hard to see the light. I feel stuck in my town and struggle immensely with self-confidence and keeping my depression at bay.

I beat myself up daily and think of everything i should or could have done differently. 

To anyone who has conquered this mountain of depression/negativity....any advice? I honestly feel like post 2020 I'm re-starting my life again (I just turned 30 a bit ago). I have no solid career trajectory and I keep getting these thoughts of just packing my shit and moving somewhere random no matter how dicey it could be without a solid plan.

Anyone manage to start their own business or find remote work and have any helpful advice?

Thanks all and sorry for the long winded post.