My [F35] wife [F40] of 4 years often thinks I'm not doing enough to avoid COVID and keeps getting mad at me whenever I want to go somewhere or meet a "potential COVID-spreader". I think I'm doing enough but her anxiety is fuelling a need for control that is driving me crazy.

Now, I'm no COVID denier. We're both scared of it, and for good reasons: 1. she has suffered 3 miscarriages, but now she's finally pregnant (in week 17). In fact, we're both pregnant, and I do want to protect both of us and the babies. 2. She has a slightly lower lung capacity which puts her at risk.

I have taken many precautions, such as working from home since March 2020 or keeping huge distance from others. I also never go to parties and seldom meet my friends indoors. Not to mention the exaggerated use of hand sanitizer - I've even put it on my face. Both of us are also vaccinated, and we cancel meetups when someone has a runny nose, has kids with runny noses, or has met someone who had met someone with COVID. I guess my strategy is working because I haven't been sick at all since Covid broke out - and I used to be sick all the time.

Still, my wife doesn't trust my judgement and forces me to avoid certain friends and family members, and certain places. I tend to comply because I usually agree with her, but sometimes I do go to a shop I know she wouldn't want me to go to.

Right now, I'm visiting my family for Christmas alone, but my wife doesn't want me to meet my dad indoors as he's not vaccinated. (Side note: I think him not trusting the vaccine is idiotic and l have had many fights with him about it, but he had COVID in the summer and still has antibodies, so I guess that's good enough). I told my wife I'd keep distance from him but she is still forcing me and my family to celebrate Christmas outdoors. I don't know what to do because they certainly don't want to freeze outside in the rain. They also think my wife is exaggerating and take it out on me. I hate how I always end up in the middle of everything.

Similar situations have happened many times before and I don't know how to deal with them. The best way to avoid conflict is not telling her I've done things she wouldn't approve of but it makes me feel guilty. I always end up telling her anyway because we tell each other everything and I want to be honest. But then she gets mad at me and tries to control me and says things such as: "I can't trust you." or "What else aren't you telling me?"

She has started working from the office again and that's somehow ok. It's almost as if the COVID she could catch from her network is less harmful than the COVID I could catch from mine.

Do you also fight with your partners or family members over COVID precautions? What strategies do you recommend to keep everyone happy? How can I enjoy my life without constant stress that my wife wouldn't approve of what I'm doing? Considering we're both pregnant, should I really make my dad and sister celebrate Christmas outdoors?