(vent) I'm just it happens to a lot that really hates what they're doing in life and suffers from depression.
Every sunday I want to die because I don't want to go back to pursue school in a field I don't like, where I know way less than my classmates and that my anxiety make me miss because I can't get through my front door in the morning.
Some days I just call in sick, hating myseld because I'm missing my education, promising myself I'll use this free time to catch up what I'm late behind... and then it's already 8pm and I did nothing, the day went fast while doing nothing. And so it starts again. 
5 days go by, it's friday evening, I'm relieved that the week is over, promise I'll work during the week end... saturday I stress about sunday and all the work I have to do, sunday goes by and nothing happened. I just know I'll have to go through another week. 
And in this situation I just want to end it all. Always finding a new way to die on my way to school. 
Rince and repeat.

I know I just need to be able to make a full week at school to feel somewhat less of a waste. But for now I struggle with that too.