i am not diagnosed or whatsoever. but i know there is something wrong with me, especially with my personality. it’s weird and i can’t explain it. nobody knows except me

i’m not very much familiar with bpd until recently. read about it on google, and i was like whoa this is exactly what i am experiencing but i don’t want to assume that i have it because i am not even a doctor and maybe i was just overreacting or something 

i want to have myself checked by a psychiatrist, but due to certain circumstances i can’t as of the moment. i’ve always wondered which mental/behavioral disorder i probably have. i’ve researched some of the disorders and the signs/symptoms of bpd are the ones that really align with my behavior/experience. it’s crazy because i think i have finally identified what it is that’s going on with me. but again, i don’t want to self-diagnose. it’s best that i should see a doctor to confirm

today i found this subreddit, and i can relate to almost every post i’ve read which made me tear up. even if i might not have bpd, i’m just happy to know that there’s a bunch of people out there that share the same experiences as i do. i’ve always felt alone and lonely. i don’t open up my thoughts/feelings to anyone for fear that i won’t be understood. so thank you guys for sharing your feelings here (the good and the bad). i already love this community