Am I (probably) a schizoid sociopath/psychopath ?

so I’ve had multiple (diagnosed) psychosis and feel very empty inside, don’t feel love, don’t feel emphaty. I’m basically a very cold and manipulative person who enjoy to have power over people and boss them around how I like it.

I’m also a very paranoid person and have had more then one psychosis in my life, I’m atm 23 and have had 2 real diagnosed psychoses. I’m very paranoid, like all the time and don’t trust anyone. But here’s the things about me. I don’t show that to people, I’m very paranoid in my mind and how I feel but on the outside you can’t see that, I’m very calm and calculated and have a really high IQ (officially tested around 140)

I also secretly lie a lot but people never find out because of my iq, the way I behave and act.

I’ve also have quite a bit history in criminal activity and have a record. Especially in fraude, I’ve scammed for thousands of dollars and was only stupid enough to get a dumb friend involved and he got me caught, otherwise I wouldn’t be caught. Anyway I manipulated and lied to the judge and made a lot more money then the fine (which was my only sentence) and nothing else. Hah people are so stupid and easy.

Back to the psychotic symptoms, I also suffer from negative psychotic symptoms like having no joy in life at all (expect when I fool other people and play with them), feeling dull and a kind of depressed state (but I don’t think it’s depression). I might also have narcissistic traits but really don’t believe I’ve narcissistic PD because I really don’t need other people approval and am not a drama queen (you know what I mean)

the other way I only be able to feel anything, like happiness is by taking drugs and alcohol. I’m a real addicted who even went to rehab for 4 months, but even that didn’t really help, I just feel empty and boredom 24/7. Taking drugs and alcohol temporarily makes me feel better but I keep having that cold unhappy feeling in my. Have been on drugs/alcohol since 17 and am now 23. When I was younger I would cope with the boredom by acting out and getting in trouble with like crazy things.

idk if this is a psychopathic/sociopathic trait, but I’ve also some really sadistic feelings, like killing people in the night (not a joke) not out of anger I think but just cause the thrill and excitement. Sometimes I get a little worried about that since I don’t want to go to jail. Even though they will probably not caught me since I’m way smarter then the cops but the idea off spending the rest of my life in jail is just not worth it to me.

I also never really experienced real fear in any situation, I think I feel more excited then fear, idk if that makes any sense but it’s true.

People close to me have no idea what kind of person I’m actually am (yea tbh that’s fun) they think I’m a really good and nice person with humor and lots of charisma (like my family) but to strangers I’m like more cold and calm, like a schizoid.

Idk what do you think off all this? Maybe I should talk to a psychiatrist/psychologist, but don’t think it’s smart because of my real intentions about people and who I really am. (You know there’s that paranoia again)

I’ve also not have had like any love from my parents, even when I was a child. They would work like 14 hours a day and I was basically left alone. And when they were home it was a horrible sense in the house. And I’m not even talk about the constant fighting and abuse.

I’ve did have a few girlfriends but never been able to feel love and just fake it for them. I just wanted to be able to say I’ve a girlfriend and have sex ( but yea I became addicted to sex) and made her have sex with me like 3 times a day. It was really a abusive relationship (she had borderline)

I don’t know if I should say this here, but I’m also busy with creating my own “cult” by manipulating people with no purpose and goal in life that feel worthless. I give them hope and purpose in life, in exchange for there complete trust and loyalty. I’m not sure at this moment where I will lead them but it’s nice to have that kind of power, you know.

all the things I said are true and really want an outside perception of all this and advice.