The other day I noticed scars on my coworker’s arms. I’ve been working with him for over a year and literally never noticed before. 

I’m drawn to them. They’re in such straight precise lines. I NEED to know why he’s done this to himself. It’s all I’ve been thinking about for days. 

He’s literally such a strong asset to the team at work. He’s super good at what he does and he’s dependable and works hard and everybody loves and appreciates him. 

And then there are the scars. 

I want to know if he’s ok. I want to grab his arms and take a solid look at them and make sure he’s ok now. I don’t even know if they’re recent or not because I haven’t gotten a very good look. I’m so worried and I just want the best for him in his life. 

On the other hand, those scars are so hot to me. I want them. I want to feel the pain again. It’s so fucking messed up and I feel terrible saying it. But it’s the truth. 

He seems so solid and impenetrable but he’s got these scars of vulnerability covering his arms. Going deep into his skin.  And fuck that’s hot to me. 

I’m so messed up.