I generally have very supportive people around me. My relationship is like...as healthy as it can be. I don’t have manic episodes as often as I used to, but whenever I do or my mental health is especially trash, I feel like no one is there for me. Everyone is busy when I need help. I feel awful and all I want is to talk things through with people I love and they’re not there. 

I know I’m just overreacting and being needy. I can’t expect people to be there for my bullshit 24/7. Now I’m going to be overly pissed off at people the moment they respond to me because I’m overthinking thinking they hate me and don’t care about me. 

I just hate myself for somehow feeling like shit whenever people aren’t available, you know? It’s like my brain has it out for me and presses the “manic depressive episode” button the moment I know my boyfriend is taking a nap or my friends are all at work.