I have no choice but to work, study and be a good daughter. My parents won't understand if I told them that I haven't been doing well mentally. They'll be like "You look fine. You were just smiling a second ago. You should be happy that there are others who are suffering more than you. I've given you a roof to live, food and everything else, just be respectful."

Which is why I can't tell my parents anything. I have to put an act like I'm a strong sister to my siblings because I'm the oldest. I'm living in a garage next to my aunt's house so I have no choice but to work and finish my education as I'm planning to be a doctor, to make my parents and my grandparents proud. My grandparents have never bat an eye towards me, but they adore my younger sister because as a child, her dream was to be a doctor which she is rethinking right now. I feel like my grandparents are trying their best to like me because I'm full-filling their dreams.

I have so much pressure at school, work and at home. Whenever I don't want to do the chores at home. My mom would flip and scream at me, so I have no choice and do shit when I don't feel like it. I have to do my assignments because I can't have a bad grade.

I have no one to talk to about what I'm feeling because everyone is having their problems and I should be lucky with what I have. My co-workers are having their hardships too. One of my co-workers dad just passed away and some have a hard time with paying rent and all.

I don't want to die but the things that I used to be happy about gives me pain and pain feels numb. I've been crying to sleep, just because I want to escape.

I have an attachment to my blanket, which I've had since a child. His name is octi and I treat him like my baby. He used to be the source of my life and he still is now. My parents don't support it and they are ashamed of me for having it. I would always have a hard time not being with him, so whenever people talk about death. It scares me because I don't want to leave him. But now, I feel like he'll be okay if I go, like he wants the best for me.

I don't know what I'm feeling and what it is that I'm dealing with. I sleep with my brother and my mom. But I have to cry myself to sleep.

I can't talk to my friends because they themselves have problems and I don't think they even know how to react and it'll burden them, if I tell this.

I just feel a little bit tired of life and I don't know what to do with it.