Just wanted to share this article, which is very helpful in understanding how invalidation (from others and toward ourselves) can affect bpd. 

http://eqi.org/invalid.htm#Introduction

Personally, It helped me see how patterns of being invalidated as a sensitive kid may have contributed to how I make invalidate myself too much as an adult. I can't feel certain ways, I feel as though I'm in the wrong or not allowed to pursue things in life, and I don't trust people much as I assume they'll invalidate me in small ways. I literally don't trust myself sometimes, and it's a terrible feeling. 

Oddly enough, the less I invalidate myself, the more I don't care if others approve or not. But the confidence that comes from feeling that I'm ok and allowed to have opinions also makes it more likely people *wont* invalidate, it seems. 

Also, this post is not meant to blame parents, or other people for not understanding. Perhaps most people just want to help and don't understand why it feels like way, and that is perfectly understandable too. It's silly to expect others will always understand. We're all different; no one else is necessarily right or better in their perceptions. 

Perhaps the more we can validate our own experiences, without requiring someone to approve or take care of us, the more we can take care of ourselves and develop more self love.

Hope others find benefit in this too.













