its too painful. it doesnt help that they text me everyday, have sex together, cuddle, and relate to each other on a deep level. theyre in a relationship but still entertain these feelings of love i developed over the past 2 1/2 years and it fucking hurts. i feel i fucked up when i told them a while back that i loved them right before they started their now relationship. i should have waited.

theyre the only person i consider my best friend who doesnt judge me for having BPD. they have told me despite past mental breakdowns they still want to be there for me. i just wish i didnt love them. this hurts 💔