I feel completely overwhelmed by an unknown number of things that I need and want to get done. I used to at least keep a prioritized list of tasks and things to do, and now I feel like they’re each on their own individual post it and I don’t know where to start because there’s so many post it’s that they cover the wall and there’s no order or system of organization, it’s just seemingly hundreds of yellow squares glaring at me and taunting me with how behind I am.
I know rationally that I could just pick one and start, but I’m so anxious about not being able to see everything. Like I’m in the middle of the ocean and there’s no land in sight and I know I need to pick a direction to start going but I’m so worried that I’ll never find land. Im drowning in tiny tasks, most of which would take very minimal effort and time on an individual level, but looking at the mess in my head it feels impossible and instead of just starting SOMEWHERE 8 I just don’t start at all and waste time panicking over organization and fixating on the fact that I don’t have a list and I’m scared to make the list because there’s so many things and I think I’ll forget something and my brain won’t stop moving for even a split second for me to just pick one or two tasks to do. And then I get all this random energy and motivation at night when I’m physically tired and should be getting ready for bed.
This makes it impossible to feel rested in the morning because I can’t get my mind to give me a break. I just need to organize the post it’s.