I've just been sitting here crying for hours because I can't do it any more. 

The pain is too much and no one will do anything. Every single doctor I see just ignores it. I don't know what else to do beside kill myself.  My only wish is that I could make everyone understand why I need to do this. I don't know why they seem to enjoy my pain. I can't think of any other reason why they insist that my suffering should continue. 

I just want the pain to stop. I wish I could inflict as much pain on them as I feel, so that they could understand. I want them to hurt the way I do. I want them to be driven to suicide by their pain.