I am so fucking tired of people telling me “you must not want to get better”. I didn’t feel that way before, but after over 10 years of wanting to get better and putting in so much work into trying, literally nothing helped at all, and now I’m in so deep, I can’t even begin to explain how deep this abyss is right now. Why the fuck should I keep caring about getting better if it’s obviously not gonna happen? I reap no benefits from trying. NONE. I’m TIRED. I don’t know what the fuck I did to deserve this, but I know for a fact I don’t. I wouldn’t wish this shit on anyone. 

Why should I have to fight tooth and nail just to do BASIC ASS SHIT?! Neurotypicals will never understand and they piss me off.