I'm a 19, high functioning BPD boi with lots of self hatred and hate towards my parents for ignoring me during my brother's cancer. I have a full time job that I love, friends that support me, passions like music and video games that keep me going through it. 

The worst part of my life ATM is living with my family, especially my parents, as they never understood who I am and why I am always so "moody", without realizing that their continuous laments about anything I do are the main trigger to most of my worst times. 

So yeah, I'll move out from this hell soon, but I just want to know: should I tell them, or not? 

They're not going to force me into therapy, even if I'm scared they will and I know I need it. 

The thing is, I want them to know what I've been going through all my life, and make them realize what's really underneath the moody teenager they had to deal with. 

But I'm scared of their reaction, scared of them feeling guilty. Luckily I'm not scared of being abandoned by them anymore, but I'm extremely worried they won't allow me to see my sister after I move out (she's the only reason I visited my family while they were on vacation this summer for example). 

I just want to feel loved by them like I never did, at least for the last times we'll spend together before I take on my life without them. 

Should I tell them, or just leave it there and make them wonder why they grew up such a messed up child? (Let me remind that I'm high functioning, I do a lot of stuff and I have had a lot of successful "adventures", like getting out of school with a 100/100 score, playing at a concert in front of a thousand people, big things. The only problem is that I'm never proud of it, maybe also because my parents never showed me they were). 

I both love them for being my parents and being there to "help me", but also hate them for abandoning me and my sister while they were at the hospital with my brother, and for the fact that for them I've never been enough.