The pandemic ruined my mental health and all the plans I had for myself. Everyone says that I should blame myself or I shouldn’t feel guilty because it’s a mental illness, I’m sick and I should treat it like that blame the sickness and not myself for getting sick. But I can’t. 
Every day I think to myself “if only I didn’t waste my time, if only I could’ve gotten out of bed and just did what I’m suppose to do then my life would’ve been simpler” 

I ruined my life. Sure I could blame society or my parents or school or whatever but it’s me my lack of productivity ruined me. And all I can do is blame myself. I can’t tell where the depression starts and I begin. I don’t feel the same but everyone around me treats me the same. 2 years passed and I can’t remember anything.