my boyfriend and i have been together for about a year. he has never cheated before in a relationship (to my knowledge) and has never really shown signs.  i also know his sisters would beat his ass if he ever did cheat. i had a boyfriend cheat on me when i was 15 btw

i am known to have extreme anxiety and when i’m not getting enough attention i tell myself that he’s cheating and that it’s my gut telling me that and not anxiety. 

the other day i saw that his friend (a girl) had liked a tweet along the lines of “im scared to be in a relationship because people in relationships have sec with me” and that sent me i to a spiral. they aren’t super close but they have been friends for years and hang out (in a group setting often) realistically, her and i are acquaintances and i don’t think she would do it but i have this pit of anxiety in my stomach about it. i can’t ask him about it because i feel psycho

i have gone through his phone (he doesn’t know this and i regret invading his privacy) and found nothing incriminating. i feel so fucking insane and like he deserves better. i feel myself constantly attempting to self sabotage. any tips on soothing myself and stopping myself from going crazy?