I haven’t seen many people on here talk about this much but my eating disorder has been a heavvvyy manifestation of the reckless, disordered, self harm behavior I gravitate to during mania specifically but also depression. 
For a while I justified it to myself saying, it’s a behavior that only hurts myself and this many delusions about food specifically can at least be controlled and physically manifested in some way. 
My eating disorder almost killed me a few times last year and just leads to this incredibly tortured feedback loop of making the crashes after mania that much worse and then back into the throws of whatever flavor ED I’m feeling for the time, thus triggering more mania and then all back again. 
Can anyone else relate to this? I’ve had a lot of trouble finding a community that talks about this experience specifically.