Warning: gushy disgusting feelings ahead.

I am so obsessed with my new person.  I honestly feel like in my 35+ years of life I have never felt so intensely for someone before and I am not just saying that because I idealize him.  He \*is\* special.  I've known he was special for years and I stayed away because of that.  He had too much potential for me.  I had never been so drawn to someone in my life. But here he is now. He checks all of my boxes, his voice lights up my brain.

He is completely enamored with me also.  He told me he'd been in love with me for years.  He can't believe we're talking like this.  He's wanted this for so long.  As I get to know him more and more, I feel like he is unprepared for \*this level\* of intensity.  He is slowly unraveling details about himself.  He appears chronically lonely.  Somewhat starved for attention and romantic connection.  He has insecurities about himself and his appearance.  He is a romantic.  He is sensitive. He's been hurt before, he hints that he's worried I will hurt him too.  He seems genuinely surprised and delighted by my very bold statements of adoration for him and he eats it up.  I feel like he has never had someone like me in his life before.

I want to shower him with praise and passion but I also don't want to burn him up in this.  I want to fluff his ego endlessly and make him feel as special as I feel like he is.  I feel absolutely insatiable.  I want to comb his brain, he is fascinating.   I know I'm too much.  I do not want to harm this wonderful creature but I cannot get enough.  I find myself holding back because I don't want to unleash this upon him.  How do I not break this wonderful delicate, sensitive man?

So far I am doing SO SO SO well.  I am learning to sit with my emotions.  Learning to deal with my anxieties and to not let myself go to dark places.  Learning to respond and not react.  I do not want to hurt this person.  I want to shower him in endless affection.  

I wish I was not so so so much.  I think I could do well with a fraction of this fucking fire I have here.