I fucking hate myself

This shitty body, the oh-so-pretty curves, fuck hip dips, fuck skinny bitches with a high metabolism that don't need to work and still get that nice feedback even though they're lazy and dumb as shit. But yeah, my work doesn't count, cause I don't weigh 40 kg anymore. 

Fuck the chronic pain and my insane mind

Fuck my spiraling thoughts

Fuck society

Fuck men

Rape me. Destroy me, I dare you.

If I would've been the one to decide, I would've killed me before I got thrown into this shithole called life

If I could, I'd beat myself up and mess up my lying face 

I'd cut a smile into that stupid sad-face, so I'll be good for them

Every day is getting me nearer to the end, and I wish to be send into hell for being such a piece of shit, but apparently life is my personal hell and god ain't real, so there's nothing to fear more than my existence itself 

So I just exist and exist and exist and exist and exist

My purpose is to help others, I make em happy and let them hate me, just so they'll be alright and do sth good for themselves

But yes, it's always about me, nothing is ever good enough for me

It's never enough to love me too

Fuck those guys. "I love you, I love you, I love you" "If we were together I would do everything, I'll be so good" "I could help to fix you"

 I know way too well what all that means

YOU DO NOT KNOW ME. SHUT UP. YOU JUST WANT A GIRLFRIEND.

Y'all don't like me anyway, so fuck off

Self awareness makes me want to scream and cry. I wish I never knew what tf all this means

My behavior, the trauma, the reasons

I wish I never noticed what the fuck is up with this world, this society and our dying system 

My therapist said I know enough, I'm smart and shit, so he won't give me tips. I fucking know that, but my thoughts are just too much man

Being 'intelligent' sure is hard

And if that is so, then why does everyone treat me like a dumb blondie? Cause I am :))) yes I'm dumb

No babe I didn't learn, I'm stupid, so just cum in me again and forget that episode 

We're all gonna die soon anyway, I'm just gonna pop some pills, peace out