I really just wanna die. I'll been thinking about it a lot lately, every time I took my pills, i took more than i should and i feel like at any moment ill be taking way too much in one sit. 
Last month i was in a mental hospital for a week, i tried to take my life doing an overdose and now i feel like im gonna do it again but without failing. Right now i don't have no one. My family doesn't care about me. My girlfriend broke up with me, she said she didn't feel the same way anymore. My best friend blocked me everywhere a month a go cause I give my girlfriend (ex gf now) another opportunity and as y'all can see it was for nothing. I have dealt with depression my whole life. When i was a kid I was sexually abused by my grandpa. Growing up i develop self harm issues and i was for more than a year clean but since 4 days i have been doing it again. I got a job last week and two days a go i broke my ankle. Now i can't walk. And all i can think about is that i wouldn't be surprised if i get fired cause i just worked for a week and im already causing trouble. I can't do anything and i don't have anyone with me. I haven't been able to get my medication neither for my ankle or my depression pills etc cause i can't walk and i have no one with me. I'm just here alone in my apartment. Sometimes I turn off my phone and then when i turn it on again, i have not even a notification of someone asking how im doing or anything. I'm completely alone. I have tried for so many years. In my childhood, growing up in a abusive house, and is like everything is always bad. I think I'll never be happy. My dad su1cide when i was a kid. I lost a sister too. I don't wanna be here anymore. I don't know how am i gonna paid the bills. I haven't eat in two days. All i do I sleep. Wake up, take pills to sleep and repeat the same thing over and over again. I'm so exhausted. I feel so alone. I know nobody's gonna notice it when im gone.