I feel horrible. I abandoned my family because the environment was toxic. I am alone, independent, working. I have little to 0 social life, hardly any friends. I try to find more but I just can’t seem to. My friends I maybe see once a month. We text even less, certainly don’t update each other on our lives. No one ever cares abt my wellbeing. No one cares about my day.

My bf is by far the most supportive person I had in my life. But lately he just seems to care less. My bf and I have been together for over a year. I live alone in my flat, pay my bills. I have a dog that I feed and take good care of. I support myself fully and he was there if I ever needed help, but I never asked it from him. Usually he would walk me at night. Usually he would take the initiative to do things. Lately he prefers to leave me to it and just have me do it alone.

I got really triggered today when he did not respond to a text for half an hour. I got home after being gone for most of the day. My boyfriend went home earlier, did not suggest to take me home in the dark. I thought he would maybe pass by my house at least to check on the dog, but he did not. He went home, chilled with his family, talked abt what we did that day, had fun watching a show with them. I went home, found my dog made a mess, had to make food for myself. I lived 15 minutes away from him, and I asked him why he couldn’t at least check on the dog. He told me he was tired after being all day with me, so I let it go. But when I started texting him about all the things the dog did and how I was trying to resolve the issues I had after coming home, he opened my text and just left me on read. I imagined how he had proceeded to laugh with his family, to watch tv, and basically have fun while I had to cook for myself, clean dog piss and feed all the pets. I felt really all alone all of a sudden, because I was alone and tired, I had no one to turn to, no one to greet me, no one interested in my day, and at that point, not even the support of my boyfriend.

The realization that I was so alone, and that while he was having fun chilling he couldn’t even respond a simple message made me split so bad and now I feel like the asshole even though I feel like I’m really struggling and I am tired of trying to appear strong and like the fun gf he wants me to be.

Idk what to do anymore. My family doesn’t love me, and he loves his family more than me and wants to ignore me when he’s with them. Is this difference worth breaking up over? Or am I just a jealous asshole cus I have it so bad? I don’t think I want to live this life anymore.