for like a year now i have been having really bad bouts of depression that last 1-2 weeks, followed by a few days where i feel great, actually feel rewarded when i do stuff you know? But i just realized that this is actually a sorta a pattern and not just constant depression because of a post in another sub, and everyone was commenting saying he probably has BPD so i looked into it and it lines up with how i have been feeling.

What im asking for is advice on what to do next? i would prefer not seeing a doctor as that gives me bad anxiety but is there like mental exercises i can do to stop losing myself once a month? Thanks.