The only time i ever have these is when i make a mistake that affects someone else… No matter how small or large the mistake is. Like just now i accidentally overslept when i needed to go pick someone up by 20 minutes. Im super tired from work and by 8pm i start to fall in and out of sleep. 

It ended up causing a lot of confusion and i started to scratch my face until it bled. I took a razor and literally cut myself multiple times in my car. I punched myself, broke some of my belongings, and finally almost drove into oncoming traffic. I couldnt contain it. I felt i was going to explode.

I never have these kinds of reactions where it feels im so frustrated that my body is coming undone. I get overwhelming anger at myself for being worthless to this person that needed me in the moment. I feel like the failure is too much. I dont do it often but when i feel i come short for someone this happens every time.