I'm 16. My entire life up to this point has just been me playing videogames. I don't go outside, I don't talk to my friends often and I have no real hobbies. This is just one of the main issues of my sadness. I've lost friends when I needed them the most, I push people away that try to help me and I feel very alone. In school my life is a living hell. I always care about what others think of me and think that they are constantly hating me. Some classes I would lock myself in the stall for an entire hour just so I wouldn't be alone again. I'm a shy person with really bad anxiety so this also makes me very sad. I constantly think I look ugly and that people feel the same way, I browse my phone until 4am then wake up at around 2 each day. I have my blinds closed and stay in bed all day and I'm tired of all this. I want to be happy. I don't wanna feel like this anymore. But can I move on when this has been my life for so long? My life is shit and it's going to get even shittier when school starts again in two months. I need somebody to talk to but is there really a point? It constantly feels like I'm waiting for something major to happen but nothing is coming. I need to escape.