I’m not one for posting how I’m feeling personally. So this is new for me. I’m usually on the other end, making sure other people are okay. But honestly- I’m just not doing okay. I have no close friends, and I really just don’t trust anyone with my problems, and I don’t talk to my family. 
I’ve had a lot of trauma in my life, I have hella trust issues. And I’ve always sucked it up, and not shown my emotions period. It’s always ate away at me. And now I’m not for sure what to do with it. I get so lonely. And honest to god- I feel like nobody gets it. And I have no idea who to talk to, or what to do next. 
It really just sucks. I get really dark thoughts, and I have for years. I once bought my own burial plot, next to my mom who passed. I was about 22, and I’m 25 now. It’s pretty strange and surreal doing that. I only told two people that, and they never seemed to care much about it. I’m not for sure if I’m going to sleep today all day, or what I should do. I want some friends I can relate to, and I miss the ones who have died in my life. Shit sucks.