I have a really bad sense of self. If you were to ask me to describe myself or ask about my hobbies or what I like to do, I couldn't tell you any. But I have come to the realization that having BPD is one thing that is a constant. I am scared to get better and be an aimless mystery to myself again. I want to get out of this cycle of spiraling and splitting and nearly manic moments, but I am terrified to go back to being nothing.