I’m numb. I’m emotionless. I feel like a waste of space. A sad excuse… I question myself. Do I really know what depression is? Do I know what anxiety is? I don’t feel and when I do all I feel is strong negative sad emotions. 
This year has been rough. I want it to be over. For some reason this Christmas season I’ve felt so heavy. 
I have everything anyone could ever want. A loving family! I’m blessed to have a job, good health etc. 
I’m just not happy with myself. I guess I’m not satisfied. Lately I’ve been feeling him life is pointless. What’s the point of being here? Why am I living this life? I’m mad at myself for being here and feeling ungrateful when there’s people who are dying in hospitals, people who are starving/living in poverty, people who have no one. Yet, here I am crying and having mental breakdowns out of nowhere. I’m so tired. It just seems like a never ending cycle with my thoughts.