I have always been a very "anti-social" person for as long as I can remember. I had a few friends but none that I was really close to. It's not that i don't like talking to people but i just can't make the first move, neither can i continue a conversation with someone who genuinely want to have a general conversation with me. This happens even with my friends (idk if I can even call them friends cause I barely talk to anyone anymore). It sounds werid saying this but i probably have less than 10 people I've probably talked to the past year. I feel lonely and pathetic most of the time. I just feel so insecure about myself. And i don't know if this is weird but i have no problem with public speaking (like i do get tensed but as long it wasn't impromptu and i knew what i have to say i was okay with it) but it only happens when I talk to people. I just can't seem to forgive myself for my past mistakes. I literally have to think 10 times before saying (or typing for that matter) anything because I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing. I can't even express my feelings wholly unless it's anonymous on an internet site. Anyway, I'm new to this subreddit and i hope to find support and advice here. Thank you.