Ive been crying for over an hour, everyday I’m yelled at and left alone to contemplate. It’ll be me saying something to join in or joke with my family that may be a bit inappropriate, e.g ill take a crap and joke about how big it was my dad would in response start yelling, talk about how shit i do in school, comment on my weight (I’m underweight but i store fat mostly in my stomach so it appears i have a-lot of fat all together) and tell me to fuck off back upstairs because of how disappointed he is in me. Honestly i don’t even make those sort of jokes anymore but when I’m around any of my parents but mostly him they’ll make me regret coming to see them. Today i seriously could not take it though, i was sat with my brother playing a game while my dad was making some food with me, i didn’t really know how to play the game so my brother was explaining before my dad came over, interjected and aggressively started explaining instead. While he was pointing at a piece in the game he was digging into my finger so i moved his finger away. This resulted in him yelling saying “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” And saying forget it and walking away saying something like “Stay a stupid piece of shit then.” After getting back to making food he started berating me and said these things “What did i do to deserve such a fuck up of a faggot son?” (Im not gay but i told my dad a few years ago that i wasn’t attracted to anyone including women) “this is why me and your mother neither love or want you.”, “i do so much and you do nothing. You go on about wanting me not to call or say certain things towards you.” Promptly after saying this he slammed the plate of food on the table and said “Joke on it.” Before returning to the living room. I know this isn’t that bad compared to other things but it happens almost everyday and i cant take it anymore. I don’t care if I’m ‘soft’ or ‘weak’ i cant take it anymore and i genuinely just want to die now. I have no one to speak to. My “friends” don’t like me and talk down on me and my brother and mother (even though they’re divorced) will defend my father.

By the way i told my mother about it and she said that it’s understandable what he said as i should realised how that can annoy someone and that i should’ve asked him to move it instead.