Hey guys, I've been really depressed for about a month and a half since my last suicide attempt. My ex broke up with me in January and since then my mental health has gone downhill. I get emotionally attached to people so quickly and I hate it because I don't want to be like that but I am.

During the last few months my room mate who is also my best friend has helped me so much and been there for me, and we've become really close, and about 2 months ago we started sleeping together. We both went into it thinking it would just be a friends with benefits situation, and I thought there was no possible way I could fall for him. He went back to his home country for a few months and so I've not seen him for a few weeks. I've been thinking about him non stop and I feel so anxious thinking he doesn't feel the same way as I do, that he's just going to leave. I've been feeling suicidal at the idea of losing him or him not feeling the same way as I do and just wish I didn't feel like this. I get so obsessed with people and I know I'm doing that now. I've also been splitting on him because I'm scared he's going to reject me or leave.

I am trying so hard to get better but I haven't been able to talk to my psychiatric nurse the past few weeks. I know that the thing which kills me the most is getting attached to people and I'm terrified because I see that it's happening with him. Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with this, and on how to not get so attached? Thank you.

Edit: Added some details