I've realized that I'm kind of obsessed with one of my best friends (we've been talking since high school so 6-7 years now). We started talking because we were both fucked up back then and I guess we created a bond through our bad experiences. 

We had a thing like 5 years ago but we dismissed it since we weren't in a good mental place, we spend some time without talking and then get back in touch. During that time I was in an on and off relationship with a guy a little older than me, I was in that relationship for about 3 years and it took me quite a while to break the pattern (in fact it was this girl who told me to cut off contact with him a year ago and we started to talk a lot since then).  

So maybe it's because our relationship started when we weren't in a good point emotionally speaking but since we started talking again I think that I have developed emotional dependency towards her and I catched up feelings again and we have been low-key flirting but nothing happened. My mood depends a lot on her, sometimes I look compulsively at the phone to see if she has texted me etc. (+ I splitted on her multiple times but we talked about it and it was fine (kind of)). 

I should tell her that I need to spend some time without talking to her bc I need to learn to be alone and put some boundaries. But I don't know if it's a good moment because I don't want to screw things up and I don't want to hurt her and I feel like I'm going to explode at any moment and I have such strong feelings towards her and I hate being so intense.