I dont know why but i genuinely want to just rip it out sometimes. i feel like if i had any less hope id actually fucking cut it out or smth. I dont know what to do i dont eant to be anymore. I feel this way so intensely,crying doesnt help i want to hurt myself. I cant put into words how i feel exactly though.

Im not sure why i am still depressed. I have good friends now, i have decent grades and i have fun hobbies. Maybe not the best family but nothing terrible. so why???????.

(Im like 7 months clean from sh though so i probably wont acc do anything, i dont wanna ruin it)