 So something I've realized recently is that my "depression symptom" exhaustion is inconsistent to the point that there HAS to be something else going on. Like a psychological defense mechanism of some kind.

First of all, it feels different than being physically exhausted or sleep-deprived. It feels like there's this hard, dull, blunt pain in my chest coupled with the "butter stretched over too much bread" thing.

Second of all, it doesn't happen all the time. I think a lot of the time I get sucked into this "war mindset" where I see my mental illness as a "me against the world" thing which quickly turns into a "me against myself" thing. Or "my emotion mind vs logical mind" thing if you've done DBT. Does that make any sense?

Honest to god I don't know what to do about it. Usually, it just gets worse and worse until I spiral, crash, and spend a day (or a few) in bed. But sometimes it doesn't happen at all? Does anybody have any recommendations? Any similar experiences? I've done DBT so help of that nature is welcome.