i’m wondering if each split is a full severance, or if you can experience multiple smaller splits within a relationship. while i’m not officially diagnosed with bpd, i’ve been in treatment for the symptoms (among other things) for 7+ years, with dbt being my primary treatment for the last 1.5. 

i’m wondering if i could be preventing myself from fully splitting using the skills i’ve already learned. when my fp rejects me, i get extremely angry and sad, and mostly redirect it onto myself. i may withdraw/be cold (both to punish her and to prevent myself from lashing out) for up to a week, until she texts me again and it’s like all the anger drains away. i just feel ashamed that i could ever doubt her love, and humiliated and guilty about my behavior. this has repeated probably hundreds of times over the course of our relationship to varying degrees. is this splitting? or something else?