Okay trying again but making a more clear post. 
I would like to preface this by stating that Thirteen psychs and therapist have said I do not have anything psychotic or delusional(not to mention all the er visits that have also said no)

I do not have a family history of anything delusional or psychotic. My biological mom does have bipolar but I have been ruled out for that as well as major depressive disorder and again anything psychotic. 

However I can't shake the feeling that something is being missed or that something else is wrong with me. 

I'm pregnant for the first time ever I'm 25 weeks along and before I knew I was pregnant went off my effexor (because it wasn't helping me) and smoked pot for the first time for maybe about ten days. 

I stopped immediately after having a panic attack where I experienced dpdr. (Everything felt fake time slowed down I felt like I was dreaming even wondered if I was hallucinating everything around me. but consciously still knew I was fine and that none of that was true) 

I was fine the next day but the day after that my ocd started focusing on harm thoughts. I've had a long history of ocd, as a kid I was worried with my own mortality and worried and obsessed about natural disasters like tornados killing me and my mom, I've had intrusive thoughts about harming my cat which I have since worked through and never wanted to act on. I have had relationship ocd where I worried if my partner was cheating on me and or if he really loved me. I have had perfection ocd where I worried if my boss liked me and the job I was doing. But I never was aware what I was struggling with was ocd  (because of common pop culture representation) i only ever thought it was anxiety 

The thoughts I began to have were "what if I stabbed my husband?" Or "what if I choked my mom?" Or "what if im having a psychotic break and do something I don't mean to do?" (Because I started researching about psychosis and delusions and Scizophrenia, big mistake) 

I eventually went to the er and they diagnosed me with ocd and sent me home. 

I worked through the ocd but then the derealization came back. Nothing felt real/felt like I was in a dream/ I started worrying about existinal thoughts (existinal ocd) 'where I wondered how reality worked ?" "What If I was dreaming my whole life?" "What if the world was a simulation?" I worried so much I went back to the er and they again sent me home saying it was just my ocd and gad and dpdr. I also found out I was a month pregnant at this time. 


I then started compulsively researching Scizophrenia/ delusional disorder/ psychosis because the dpdr and existinal ocd made me feel like I was crazy or suffering from something worse. 

So then my themes switched to fear of having a psychosis disorder (any of them all of them I was really scared.) It first started as being hyper focused on sounds worried I could be hallucinating. Eventually that went away and I started worrying about common delusions people with psychotic disorders may have. I didn't even know these were a thing until I looked them up. (Thanks ocd) 

They freaked me out so much that people could think that way that my ocd intrusive thoughts started mimicking them in a way. "What if your mom/husband poisioned your food?" 
"What if someone was out to get you?" "What if your hallucinating everything and you don't know?" Etc. 
I never beleived any of these thoughts because I knew they were extremely irrational however because of my fears of becoming psychotic and not being able to care for my baby on the way and be a good wife to my husband (who is my biggest support and best friend aside from my mom ) they made me so anxious I worried that if I thought them I must beleive them (even though again I knew deep down I didn't and that they only appeared after reading about them) 

Anyway that brings us to now. I have in the last month switched over to a new psych and therapist after working with my old ones for a year because my old ones made things worse. 

My old therapist fed the ocd sooooo much and never taught me the proper way to deal with it (what I now know is erp) and my old psychiatrist would put me on multiple meds at a time and take me off of them with in two to three weeks if I wasn't (in his words) "better" by then. 

I tried lexapro/trazadone/buspar(made dpdr worse)

Amd lastly a low dose (50mg) of seroquel for "sleep and anxiety" 

Seroquel made my dpdr (depersonalization and derealization) so bad that people like my husband and mom and even cat at times looked unfamiliar and felt like strangers al my memories with these people and of my life felt distant or like thwy happened to someone else. I still knew who they were but everything felt off. Even my own home felt and looked odd to me. 


I was officially convinced I was psychotic after experiencing this because no one on my old team explained to me that what I was going through in these moments of "unreality" was a anxiety/stress trauma response called dpdr. 

So as any compulsive person does I took to reddit and Google to research why my loved ones felt like stranger to me (and at times looked strange) I of course found plenty of dpdr related articles. But the one that stuck out to me was a article about caogras delusion. 

Capgras is a delusion typically found in patients with demntia/lewy body/ alzihmers(I know I spelt it wrong) and of course my biggest fear paranoid Scizophrenia. It is a delusion where people have the belief that a loved one has been replaced with usually one of the following 
A clone
A doppelganger 
A imposter 
A alien or monster 
Or a robot. 

Now at first I was like "Okay that's obviously not me because I don't beleive in clones or doppelganger or imposters aliens or robots " but then the ocd took over and my ocd intrusive thoughts began mimicking this delusions (as it has done with other delusions in the past) 

"What if your husband isn't your husband?" 
"What if he's been replaced?" 
"What if he Is a alien?" 
"How do people eve exist?"

I never even knew these were thoughts a person could have until I read about it and now I wish I hadn't. I then started seeing my new psychiatrist and therapist. My new psychiatrist got me off the seroquel and put me on zoloft I am now up to 200mg of zoloft and it seems to be helping for the most part (though I don't think it's fully in my system yet) she said I'm not psychotic and that this is just a mixture of being on the wrong medication plus hormones from being pregnant plus dpdr/anxiety/and ocd. 

My new therapist said the same and that all of my thoughts and anxieties were normal for ocd with the fear of Scizophrenia and or a existinal theme and that I wasn't delusional or psychotic in the slightest and that we would start the proper therapy (erp) to help with this. 

My dpdr has calmed down quite a bit I don't have it every day like I did on seroquel. I still have moments of it but I'm mostly able to sit with it and let it past. But the thought of "What if my husband has been replaced?" Has been coming and going and causing me distress since June 6th. Some days I am able to be like "wtf that's not possible its just the dpdr and ocd" and other days like yesterday I'm in tears and fully convinced I'm delusional and that I may beleive it (even though again deep down I know I dont) 

I am hustle worried one day I will fully beleive this and hurt him. 😢  and I don't want that to happen. I am also worried that if this isn't undercontrol soon I will be a terrible mom to my baby and wife to my husband. 

Espically if I do become delusional. 

I guess what I'm looking for here is insight. 

Should I trust my doctors and the Thirteen other providers that told me it's just ocd dpdr anxiety and hormones 

Or is it something worse going unseen or something starting to develop?  

I know this is reassurance seeking but I'm just so worried and in the early stages of therapy and really trying to beat the ocd. I also feel like I'm the only possible person to experience this thought. 

Has anyone else dealt with this? 

Please help.