If it wasn't for him I wouldn't make it.

Some days it's only the thought of how sad he would be about me dying that gets me through.

My mum never asks about my day, just talks over me about hers.

The same for my older brother.

My dad has been a creep towards me, and has never out the same effort in as he has done with my brothers. 

My middle brother would be upset, but really, if I'd never been born I'm not sure how different his life would be.

Sometimes I really hate that my partner loves me so much, makes it so hard for me, makes that option so Impossible.

So, I guess In some ways I am lucky. But it's still hard.