Basically my family, friends, random strangers to put it bluntly I don’t care about, it feels so bad for me to type this but I could literally move to another country and not overly care if I don’t see them again.


The only thing is however if I’m attracted to someone then I come alive, but TOO much. I over compensate and make them my world, nothing else matters. I become obsessed and I can’t stop myself, not in like a weird seriel killer type of way but like I just get this overwhelming urge to be with them and give them all my love and make them feel so special and wanted. But of course it has the opposite affect and they leave, or I get offended that they aren’t the same and don’t feel the need to spend every waking minute with or talking to me. 


I know I’m being irrational, I know why the leave. What I don’t know is why I have this weird thing, like I’m clearly capable of loving but when it comes to family and friends I just CANT do it.


The only thing I’ve thought of is I’ve associated love with like romance and sex and so it feels weird to ‘love’ my parents etc and people I’m not attracted to. But like wtf what kind of stupid shit is that!?