I’m asking because I’m a “quiet BPD” (aka don’t lash out at people, but struggle with self harm, fear of abandonment, overwhelming emotions and romantic obsession) and both the people I’ve seriously dated have been narcissists. I was at first wondering if maybe I’m just so mentally ill that I only *thought* they were narcissists, but after describing the details of my 2 relationships to therapists, I’ve learned that they’re both absolute narcissists. Sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, manipulation, the whole lot of it. Do I just have really bad luck or do narcissists kind of sniff out our low self esteem and eagerness to please, and pounce on it? 

(How else would I have been manipulated into letting one ex fuck other girls in front of me and the other guy use me for $$ and chores and only have sex with me if I’ve been “good”)