I tire her with my pity parties. Some days I am bubbly happy. Other days I come in wanting to desperately end my life. She is sick of my shit and I can tell

I don't know if anyone is familiar, but there was a popular Youtuber named Etika who committed suicide in June. He was my favorite Youtuber. In his last video he said he messed up too many times to change. And honestly, I think I get it

I pushed everyone away. Burnt too many bridges. Hurt too many people. No"I'm sorry" will make shit better if I'm just gonna hurt them again. I'm a toxic individual and honestly, the world is better off without someone like me walking around and causing pain.