Everytime I'm with my family and loved ones, everytime I live a good moment, or I see something that they like I crush myself in despair and depression because I'm concerned for them. Concerned for life, and the inevitability of death. I have to excuse myself to go and cry because of the weight of the uncertainty of life and how much it worries me. I cannot be happy or have happy moments because I know something bad can will or maybe would happen and it fills me with dread. I'm always scared and in horror. 

It doesn't stop.