im not fully sure if i do have anxiety or some form of it.  

i would have unwanted thoughts about the person i dislike and hateful thoughts. and  it makes me have a small headache and i would have some sort of weird feeling like a fight or flight response.

 

and like   heres another weird thing.   and if theres like a bad thing that don't matter,  like a disagreement or someone would tell me to shut up for talking too loud,  something small.     there would be 2 parts of me the bad part which tries to make it a big deal,  and the good part that knows that its not a big deal and move on.   i dont have panic attacks i remain calm even when im nervous.

i fear becoming a asshole  due to these unwanted hate filled thoughts.   like when i wake up in the morning some times the first thing that appears in my head is unwanted hate filled thoughts about a certain person i hate.    

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like the dude i hate did not do anything to me but he allegedly did something fuked up to someone else.  and theres no evidence to back it up besides a gut feeling.    like why the fuck am i worrying about it.    is it because i hate bad people.    like   whats the point of giving a fuck about him.     

i mean i know people can speak for themselves.   like that gives me comfort knowing.    

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but like i said theres 2 parts of me.  one that knows that it wont get me anywhere if i think about it and the bad part that tries to make it a big deal.       and also theres a part of me that knows that nobody is thinking about me often which is a good thing.  but like i said again theres that part of me tho. 

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   i need advice for this.   i just dont want to become a asshole filled with hate  and man its my fault i feel this way honestly  and ive noticed when i rest my head feels clearer so it it a lack of sleep thats the problem?