It is difficult for me to get out of bed, let alone effect any change. I have uprooted my life in the past year and changed everything about myself, but I feel the same.

I don't think I'm going to overcome a bad upbringing and my bad decisions. I am still, to this day, paying for bad choices I made when I was 17. I'm not going to recover from any of it.

Today is the 5th day in the row that I can hardly function. I haven't gotten any work done. I couldn't get out of bed. I have given up on myself.

I wish I had had better guidance, a better environment, some friends who could have supported me, interests that I could have followed and developed into hobbies.

I don't have a supportive family, I grew up being put down and abused a lot, I have no friends, and I don't have any interests anymore because I was so often told that things I liked were stupid that I just stopped doing them.

I don't enjoy anything anymore. I see a sunny day and a blue sky, and I feel that I don't deserve it. I see others my age enjoy themselves and spend time with loved ones, and I feel that I will never have that. I don't see any good in myself, my life, or the world