I’m so sick of this. I go to a therapist and i really enjoy taking advice from her. It works the times I am completely sure, but the waves of anxiety just hit even harder. I used to be overly worried about getting brain cancer, now it has minimized. I still actively worry about getting ovarian cancer, but it stays low. I worry about skin cancer, it decreased, but it just hit harder today. There is this part of my skin, it feels like a bump and hurts a lot. It’s red and has some irritation. My first guess was just acne so I shrugged it off. A few days later I remembered the types of skin cancers I saw before. There has also been a very small grayish spot appear on my lower lip. I am still worried that it is skin cancer. But now this bump is worrying me. I have really sensitive skin. I get sunburnt easily and I try to remind myself to wear sunscreen inside the house but I forget. It makes me want to just give up on everything. I have felt like this so many times, like I was just going to die and give up. I am just 13 years old and everyone tells me that I am too young to worry about these things yet. But the constant doubt is just so aggravating and scary. I know this is what anxiety does, but I am seriously rethinking everything. When I write things down, like my therapist told me to I feel slightly relieved. Then I think “I’m just going to die anyway.” I worry about it being basal cell or something. I have seen similar images. I’m just terrified. The thought of it being true is just horrifying. It might be fake or real and I’ll never know whether I visit a doctor. But I have already visited the doctor not too long ago for my stomach problems. I have been actively scared of being near others who seem suspicious as well. My therapist and I have worked on this and it seems to work quite well. But I just can’t shake off this health anxiety. I’m so done and I feel so worthless. It angers me cause it’s so stupid that I think like this. But the thought that I can easily disregard it while it is actually cancer makes me so scared. What is reassurance when it might not even be true? But I don’t want people to tell me I have cancer either. What is going on. I wish I had strong skin and I wish my immune system was stronger. The thing is, it doesn’t feel like a pimple, I can’t pop it. I know cancer doesn’t just randomly appear but maybe it’s been there but it was too small to notice. I’m so sick of feeling like this. It’s been 2 years and I’m about to turn 14 soon. I just wish I knew that I didn’t have any problems with my health in the future. I feel like I’m jinxing myself by saying this. And seeing that health anxiety raises the rate for getting heart disease is just terrifying. I wish there was someone with my exact problems that could relate to me. Same worry, same health problem, and skin.