Okay, so I'm new to poly. My boyfriend introduced me to it with a girl that I really like. We started a triad and this is the first triad for all of us. I've kept in contact with the girl, but the boy is working a lot and we lost contact. I haven't talked to him for days. The last time I talked to him, we had a fight. He raised his voice, blamed my BPD and told me that he's just tired of being around us. I was calm. I pointed out that he rarely talks to us, he treated us like sex trophies at a diner by talking to the staff about the threesome he was going to have later on, and that he consistently talks about my age (I'm a lot younger than him). He never drives the 40 minutes to see us, he never pays for meals, he never does anything but show us places he likes. 

I no longer feel much for him besides hatred. I feel used by him. He just seems to walk all over my girlfriend and me, and we just take it. I hate him so fucking much rn. He's normally so sweet and caring but when he needs money, he's just the most selfish dick in the world. 

I had a panic attack and he was very sweet. He made sure to help me with my boundaries and make sure I felt more safe. He's not all bad. I just... I feel like I'm about to break up with him on a rash decision to hurt him and catch his attention. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to trust about myself. 