So then I just keep them at arm's length. I was recently very hurt by someone I thought it would work out with. Now, I'm seeing someone new, and I really like him, but I'm back to square one. I wonder how he can possibly find me desirable in any way when the last one alternated between hot and lukewarm about me. When most have been pretty lukewarm about me. I'm always waiting for these things to implode. I always expect caring too much will be the catalyst. I'm in sales. I know how to detach from my desire long enough to close a deal. Caring too much just drives people away, but I don't want to bring the sales mentality home. I want to express affection and adoration and know that I'm safe enough to do so, but as soon as I do, everything becomes dangerous. The smallest perceived slight has me clamming up and going back to the cool, distant person that I feel safe being. I just want to know that it's safe to be vulnerable, even with just one person.