oh.. oh boy. I'm feeling really depressed, pregnant and wish I could somehow leave or remove/hurt myself but I'm stuck. :') 

I feel like a dumbass who had this idea of "lets have kids!" and I feel like I've made my BF stuck with me. I feel like a burden and like I'm just a piece of shit. I feel so sorry that I did this. He'd be happier with someone else. 

But now... he doesn't want abortions and he doesn't want me to be a single parent so he's sticking with me. but I feel really bad about it. He says he doesn't hate me but I've always been a depressed asshole so I can't imagine being with me is nice.

I'd be ok with leaving and raising the kid by myself so he doesn't have to be weighed down by me anymore. He could go be free again.