I’ve been diagnosed bipolar for almost a decade now. I have tried every medication under the sun. I’ve tried micronutrient infusion and electro convulsive therapy. I’ve been hospitalized and arrested. A doctor has NEVER been able to help me and yes I have had many. There was a period of time where I had a psychiatrist who was the absolute best of the best but it didn’t matter I still had suicide attempts and crippling depression and anxiety. I can’t keep a job. I can’t get through school. I can’t maintain relationships. There is no hope for me. 

Everyone says oh it’s just a waiting game it’s all about tinkering with your meds and it takes a long time to find something that works. Well it’s been a long time. Nothing fucking works. I’m not going to stop taking my meds because even though they don’t really help they at least keep me from having a full blown manic episode but that’s really all they do. The depression just runs unchecked. I’ve tried to commit suicide so many times despite what my treatment plan was. I spent three weeks in the mental hospital and I was just as bad off when I got out as I was when I came in.  There is no hope.