Like does anyone feel that they keep trying to fit in, or improve - but they struggle to do so?

Do you feel that it’s easier to encourage other people with BPD than yourself?

Do you feel that you know what you need to do (or at least what you’ve been taught by professionals to do) but it’s so hard because you try or you struggle to even try due to emotions etc?

I recognise that my thoughts are all over the place. But I do so much better in believing that everyone will get better - and sometimes I feel that my psychiatrist/therapist just thinks the worst out of me due to the stigma; or believes that I’m not that bad and expects me to do neurotypical things -

Like I wish they’d understand.
I’ve been struggling with mental illness since 2013 but it’s only upon confirming it’s BPD this year, with other things underneath - like does anyone else feel that there must be something inherently wrong with them besides BPD?