Hi, I am 16 F and I have posted here before. It just keeps getting worse. 
My parents (3/4 of them) are narcissistic and emotionally and verbally abusive and I have come to terms with the fact that they will never change. I feel as though I have no one to turn to because I don't want to go to the psych ward again, I don't want to get CPS involved, I don't want to get the school involved because my stepmom works there. I have told my friends but they can't help because they are in similar situations themselves. I talk to a therapist and the only thing she can do is here me out. 

Because of all of this my depression and other mental illnesses has gotten worse than it has ever been before. I no longer care about things. Not art, not school, not my friends (Yikes, right?), I barely care about my family, I don't care if I die, I don't care if my stepdad fucking "puts me in the hospital" as he put it. 

I hallucinate more at night then I ever have. Instead of just seeing things now I will FEEL thing touching me which is just fantastic. I find myself having more and more conversations in my mind starring people that don't fucking exist. I think about imaginary people's lives more than my own. I look forward to NOTHING anymore. Even presents. 

I sometimes re-live the time I was sexually assaulted (not raped, but close) in my dreams. 

Things that used to be fun to me are just so bland and pointless. Video games isn't even an escape anymore. And before you ask me to try new things- I have, it didn't help. 

My physical health is getting worse too. I feel worse and more tired than usual. 

I used to be SO good at hiding the fact that I am very messed up in public. But now even my friends (which I don't want to talk to) are asking me what's wrong. Even teachers and strangers know something's up. It's a mess. 

I am still nice to people but they are going to get sick of me being a downer all the time and soon. 

I just feel like there is no escape. The whole "it has to get better thing" is bullshit, no it doesn't. I am getting sick of being told "just ignore it!", "it's all in your head!", "just go out and EXCERCISE TO GET THOSE GOOD CHEMICALS". None of that works. Never. If anything excercise just leaves me alone with my thoughts which is the worst thing I could do right now. 

The only thing good that is going on for me right now is the idea that I will go to college early next year and will have a lot of scholarships. And I'll get the job I want. 

But if any of this shit ruins that for me I will officially have nothing left to live for and I will die.