I just left work crying because I’m having so many suicidal ideations. I feel so embarrassed that people saw me like that. I really need to seek help out today and hopefully get back on antidepressants. For now, I’m going to nap. I wonder if any urgent cares will see me. I really don’t want to go to the ER. I really hate my job, I hate where my life is going, and I just wish everything would change. Nobody is listening to me, but I also don’t go into detail about how debilitating these thoughts have become. I don’t reach out to people because I know they’ll think this is too much and they’ll abandon me as so many people have done before. I wish therapy wasn’t so much money. I need that so badly.