i wish i could have stayed young and oblivious forever but now i’m starting to see how much of a shitty person she is, and how much of a shitty person i’m becoming.

i told her that i think my brother might have taken something from my room and she said, “what?! are you serious?! you think he’d do that??? oh my god.....” acting genuinely shocked. this isn’t the only time she’s tried to gaslight me and make me feel crazy. even if he didn’t, why does she have to react that way? why does she have to act like he’s innocent and would never do anything bad?

she treats the females in the family so different from the males. i hate her. i wanted to push her and scream at her when she said that, which scares me, but i was so angry. i told her she was annoying (which probably wasn’t the right reaction, but i wanted to say much much worse) she responded with “I’M annoying?” and when i got upset and asked her if she was implying i was annoying (hypocritical, i know. it runs in the family) she said “i never said that. i was just asking you a question.” she’s fucking insane. 

i’m in my room right now. i’m crying, as much as i was trying not to. i want to go out there and scream at her. i want her to know that i see right through her and that her manipulation and gaslighting isn’t going to work on me anymore. should i? i probably shouldn’t. then what should i do? i feel so alone. i have friends i could go to but i don’t want to bother them with my problems.