I feel so unlovable and unlikeable. I distrust others who take interest in me and try to be my friend or date me.
I’ve been called weird all my life and am often judged.

I wonder if the person trying to get to know me has bad intentions to manipulate me (although, my intuition can often pick up on this). I also wonder what is wrong with the other person since they like me so much. Are they slow, dumb, creeps, have poor sexual boundaries, or weird themselves? I start projecting my judgments from myself onto them, which is not fair to them of course. I just really struggle with the idea of people liking me for me. Like me with no makeup on and when I am not working so hard to please another person. I met a new friend who likes me for me and I’m just uneasy.... he is a free spirit, hippy and Has a lot of friends—any maybe that’s why we doesn’t Judge me. 

I was bullied a lot in my life especially in my house hold, of course. In college though, I became quite popular when I start drinking and partying. Deep down I know my core/true self is very lovable. I know people often do like me when I am my quirky, bubbly, creative, and silly self.
But because of my extensive trauma history, I often forget that. I also need to start surrounding myself with nonjudgmental and free spirited people like me so I feel a sense of community that loves and supports me.


Ugh, anyone else relate?