...I'm so happy to say FUCK YOU to the people that I personally believe led to the onset of all the symptoms. When I would rage and had to assert any thought or feeling because I was 'no longer under your control', my entire life was really controlled by the past in actuality. Now, it feels SO good to know that they all mean nothing and have no influence on my life!

So fuck you, the man who sexually abused me for four years.

Fuck you, the plethora of men in my life at the time who created an environment that led to the sexual abuse feeling more traumatising, and ultimately internalizing the belief that women are toys.

Fuck you, who all dug deep into your "rational", "neutral" beliefs of bioessentialism (this is still the one triggering thing for me), and the constant dismissal of women's experiences.

Fuck you, the many, many men at the time, strangers, friends, *him*, customers, who would gaslight me through the subconscious bias of gender, telling me pretty much that red was blue, things I was seeing in front of my eyes didn't exist, events didn't happen, and to a lesser but still very persistent degree, that all of my knowledge was completely ridiculous, until I cited a man who said it.

FUCK YOU.

Now that that's out of my system, I can move on to a new chapter of my life. One that I live for myself.