Writing both makes me realize how I enjoy my world and hate the real world. I don't know if I'm the only one, but I hate looking at real people. I can just taste the fakeness and the ruthlessness.

In the real world, it's always the same people and the same writers who get all the recognition. The real world is rigged against people like me. Of course, some popular writers have put efforts, but people like me were never meant to have their efforts noticed.

I am just sick of writing about my world and never living in my world. Real people are just so awful and mediocre. They only like and celebrate the same people.

I am sick of the "you will find people", it is the same as "you will find readers one day". Sometimes you never find your people, and you never find readers because the real world sucks. Sometimes putting your heart into a work does not matter because real people only like the same things over and over again. Because being different means being alienated.

I know how other people got successful, but it is not me. And I won't apologize for wanting to stay true to myself. If being true to myself means being alienated, then it means that the real world sucks.

I am not saying that popular stories are bad, I am saying that I am pissed off that I am not one of them. I am pissed off that if I was born in another world, my story would be popular. Because your story can be written with the most perfect grammar, it does not mean it will get popular. You know what? Because unfairness is written all over reality. Efforts don't matter, passion don't matter, heart doesn't matter. It is only that ego BS that matter. People have excuses and reasons all the time. There are billions of people on Earth, and yet none of them are here. In a fictional world, people would be here, but not in reality.

I don't live in a world that see the light inside me. I don't live in a world that see my efforts. I don't live in a world that see my story. So I don't want to be here anymore.

I don't want to live in a world that only cares about the efforts of one kind of writers. Yes, these writers are talented, but I truly believe in my soul too. I believe in myself, but the real world does not.

And by one kind of writers, I don't mean a genre or some tropes or some trends.

I mean that the story was already written in the real world. Some people like me were born in the wrong world, some were not. Because I have made efforts, more efforts than I ever I could have ever done. And yet, it is never enough for real people. Nothing is enough when you're born in the wrong world... I truly feel like an alien, I don't even feel human. I don't feel understood, I don't feel noticed, I don't feel treated the same way than this kind of writers is.

I just always feel alienated.