My delayed (due to covid) university graduation is next month and my parents told me they can’t come due to time. Ironically, they have time to take multiple days off to attend their friend’s daughter’s wedding.  I think it hurts more since they try to make it an issue with me like “oh you won’t have time for us if we come” etc. While I understand, it doesn’t make it not hurt and I’m spiralling. 

While it doesn’t feel like it should matter since it was so small, I remember my high school graduation and I was the only one to not receive flowers (of everyone), and it wasn’t due to cost or anything, my family just didn’t think to. 

I think both of these makes me feel like I’ll never be enough especially since I graduated both with high honours, multiple awards and scholarships, multiple jobs/internships, and acclamations. Every time I tell them about anything good like me getting into law school (first in my family) etc., they always just sit there and ask what’s next and what about this other school.

I know I should be proud of myself regardless and I know factually that I have a lot to be proud of. Celebrating all I’ve done is one of my goals that I’m working on.

I’m also trying to not get my hopes up for law school graduation in a couple of years or my bar call ceremony and focus on being there for myself but it still sucks.

All I really want is someone to be there for me. Someone to be able to stand there with flowers and be there for me. Sounds so superficial but it’s causing me countless nights of sobbing.


Sorry, I know there’s much bigger problems out there, I just don’t have many I can turn to who get how badly this is impacting me.