im genuinely losing grip with reality. i’ve been in a dissociation episode for so long that i genuinely cant tell what is real and isn’t anymore. for the past however long this episode has been i have fabricated this false sense of who i am and im genuinely losing the plot. i keep doing awful stuff because in the back of my head nothing is real. i say shit i dont mean, i do stuff i dont wanna do, i put myself and the people i love in awful situations because i genuinely feel like nothing is real and im losing it. im so fucking scared and i cant talk to anyone about it because my therapist will get me recovered inpatient and nobody in my life will believe me or understand what im going through. i need help but i don’t know what to do. im so scared.