Can someone please help me. My girlfriend has had BPD for a while and She got diagnosed midway through our relationship after I told her to seek therapy due to specific arguments I felt were a lil out of the ordinary and her mental issues as well. 

So the situation in question: 

My gf has BPD and as of recently she has been lashing out and taking it out on me worse and worse every time. I’d like to think I’m a very loving and supportive bf. I have never cheated on her or abused her. I buy her flowers and give gifts take her on expensive dates. I’m mentally there for her and always there w open arms, etc etc. but as of recently her temper has been getting shorter and shorter.

Today we argued over the DUMBEST thing. She messaged a random dude that goes to my university w intentions of messaging one of my friends w the same name saying “where you at” it was late at night and I didn’t want him to get the wrong intentions. So I asked if she can just unsend the message bc I go to school w him and didn’t wanna have to deal w the whole “your girl messaged me “ situation bc I’m not cool w him like that. She was defensive of doing it and then agreed to do it but continued to argue. I was letting her know how there was no point in arguing bc nobody did anything wrong but she got hyper fixated on the situation. I tried to calm the situation down and was being understanding and asked if we can move on bc it wasn’t a big deal. I’m not mad at her, I’m not bothered, I’m not anything it was only a simple favor bc I see this dude at school. I see that she started to go off a lil so I try to give her space and let her know to try to take her mind off of it, get food, listen to music and then we can return to it later. She denies it and then proceeds to eat me alive w her very mean words. The argument ended w me crying due to the very very harsh words she said to me and me asking if she can please stop talking to me in that way as I’m not talking to her that way.

As we ended the argument she is in denial that it’s getting worse and is in denial that she has bpd and is fine w only seeking therapy 2 x a month and NOTHING else. She keeps telling me how she’s always been this mean and how it’s who she really is. That I do not know who the real her is and that’s the real her. She’s saying how she isn’t a disorder and she’s conformed w how she acts and treats me. And if I don’t like it then I should just leave. I make up and continue to try and try and put my mental health on the side bc we have been together for over a year and have been seeing each other romantically for over 2 years. To add on to it I care and love her and know her episodes aren’t the girl I fell in love w. They’re episodes. So I’ve offered to help pay for anything and she refuses. I try to influence her to tell her parents so they can help and she refuses and says how she’d break up w me if I ever did that. I want to help or atleast try to influence her to seek help but 1. She doesn’t know what to do exactly. She’s only ever been diagnosed but never took it seriously. What doctors should she be seeing? What meds can help control her manic episodes? What can I do to 1 avoid crying like a bitch bc she’s telling me she hates me and other mean stuff and 2 avoid her reaching her final form of manic. Please help.