i find meanings in things that do not mean what i thought they meant, kind of like subliminal messages, but not in books or TV, rather in my day to day normal real life events. they can mean something, they can cause something to happen (they never do) etc. there is some distance between me and those thoughts though, i don't completely believe and overindulge in them.

for example : *when i'm walking beside a friend (or holding hands) and there happens to be an obstacle coming in front of us. if both of us move left or right it means they're a good friend, if we split it means they're a bad friend and they will eventually leave me, but when we come back close together it's a relief, they're back again, like, after a real break up?*

my friend told me that i take the emotional route rather than the logical route while thinking about something, and my dad kinda said that i think the world revolves around me but not in a narcissistic way. i think he meant to say i'm autistic and it made me laugh. anyways. it was my wake up call, i try to stop myself when i find that i'm going deep down that rabbit whole, and instead i try to view things from an objective POV. this skill is innate in some people but i have to work on it. subjective reality bullshit. whatever. 

please don't diagnose ME because i know it's against the rules, simply answer my question and give other examples if possible ... thanks. english isn't my first language so i always feel the need to write a lot just to say something that could've been explained in like 3 sentences.