I wanna be like them but I can't
I want to get good grades but I can't
What I've done in this year is not enough
I don't feel I'm enough
I want to get in a good school but i dont got no hopes. I'm hopeless. Am I gon really turn 1# and go to work??? I don't wanna be like em. I just said the opposite in the beginning of my thoughts but whatever, i want to be as good as the clever kids in my class.  
It's hard. I don't wanna fade away. I don't want to be nothing. I want to be loved. I want the youth to love me. I feel like i was born in the wrong place. I feel like i shouldn't be here. I can't achieve my goals. 
Whenever i try to do my best there'll be always some shit to pop up. I want to live my dream life. Would i?.. Would i be able to live my life in joy, knowing where i came from? Who's my mother? What's my language.  What I've been doing all these years. What other people think of me. Those who know me, they know I'm lazy.
They don't understand that i really tryna change and do my best.. the fuuuuck... 
In school they bring me up for an example.
' If he knows what to do (I) how come you dont know?  Tired of being.. Tired of facing stigmas cuz I'm from this village. I'm fuckin tired of me. I don't have a clear picture of my future. Shall i accept my.. failure?  
Should i try in the next life? My reborn will be luckier? Is reincarnation even a thing?
My mind is eating itself. I can't escape from these feelings. I'll do my best, no matter what. I'll do what I can. God gives the result