I like many other people experimented with drugs when I was younger nothing seriously crazy. We drank a ton not more than the average college student but we loved to party. Also primarily weed (i was a heavy smoker for about 4 years) and psychedelics, MDMA, and cocaine only a couple of times each but anyway my point being, at one point i was super comfortable doing so. i always did my research, always tested to the best of my knowledge prior and then let myself have fun with my friends because we were younger and it was fun 

now at 23 i cannot smoke weed AT ALL. this started about two years ago when i started getting terrible anxiety more frequently when i smoked out of seemingly nowhere and just got worse overtime until i had to quit completely. i have no interest in smoking now because i know i’ll have a panic attack but i do miss the days of just smoking a hitter and relaxing alone after work 🥲 i get anxiety when i drink. can’t do that anymore either but i don’t like alcohol anyway so that doesn’t bother me at all honestly.

 i don’t touch other shit now that i’m grown and mature but it seems ive just developed this deep seated anxiety and fear in not being in control when under the influence? does anyone else experience this?