So last week I tried to kill myself and last Friday I went into a Mental Hospital.   The first one I ever been (4 years ago) to was horrible, so I thought this one was going to be just as bad.   So my grand entrance was screaming at the top of my lungs that I wanted a cigarette and I wasn't going to deal with this shit and I shouldn't be here. I got in at 10 at night.   The next morning I was proven wrong.  

I woke up to find breakfast was actually decent, and you got to pick out whatever you wanted to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner from a menu.    The sitting areas were nice, and the residents there were also very nice, either rehab, or try to commit suicide like I did.  There was only 20 residents.  

Well we had groups.   Which were alot of fun.   One group we had to come up with A to Z qualities about ourselves.  Come up with 3 each for each letter.   It was pretty boring until we came up to the letter K.   So I ask the Activities Director  "Can we be Kinky?"  this got the ball rolling, then once we hit M.  One resident said "Moist".   N got "Non-Complaint".   Q got "Quirky".   S got "Stoned, Sexy".   And I gave W "Wicked".  

We had one resident that was high functioning autistic.   Said she was the president and the daughter of Elvis.   Well, there was this other girl that was hanging on guys, and out of no where the autistic girl called the horny girl "Queen of Pussy".   

I also got to play Euchre with the 3 guys.  I had 5 solo hands in the 5 days I was there.   Me and my teammate were down by 3 points from a win and the enemy team were down by one point.   But I was got a solo hand.  I played it masterfully and pulled it off.   Made a boy super salty that a girl whooped his ass.  

There were these little chalkboards by everyone doors.   I drew a kitty cat face on mine.   Other patients liked it so much I ended up drawing 3 more.   Someone even asked for a Pot leaf.   But the nurses made me wash it off.  So me and the patients came up with a coke bottle with coke in the bottom.   Nurses never caught it.  

Another group activity we had be split in 2 groups to do a plane crash scenario.  We had a bunch of items, like an axe, whiskey,chocolate bar, canvas, newspaper, to group from 1 to 12 to importance.  But part of the scene was a dead captain and pilot.   So I told the group list the chocolate last cause we going to eat the captain and pilot.   My teammate with the missing lower legs in the wheelchair that looks like alucard from castlevania thought it was a great idea but everyone was like DAMN.    

But the last day I found out I have PTSD, BPD, Maniac Depression, and ADHD.   I have to be on anti-psychotics, anti-depressives, and mood swing meds.  

I have made new friends for life now, and a nurse that has inspire to be a great caretaker at my job too.   I hope this journey in life takes me to better places.   I will push all the toxic people out of my life that caused me to hurt myself but I will cherish the new people that have been brought in my life.  