anytime i have to talk to someone, even if I’m close to them i get so stressed and anxious that i cant think and my mind goes blank. im too worried about people hating me and thinking im weird and boring to actually come up with something to say in conversations.

the thing is, despite me not talking much and being really awkward, its clear people still like me. recently especially ive been getting asked to hang out with groups of people from my work and most of the time its other people that start convos with me, i dont usually start them. 

so people not avoiding me clearly means they think im cool? only other option would be their doing it out of pity but thinking logically i dont think people would sctually do that.

despite all this whenever i see these people i still assume they dont like me. so i act distant which probably makes it come off as i dont like them. i csnt start convos though because i never know what tosay and i get too anxious to keep it going without being awkward.

i just don’t know what to do about this