 My boyfriend (31/M) of 3 years broke up with me (26/F) last year and it has been hell. Even before we broke up I feel like I can't function when he's not physically with me. I would plan things to do when he's out but end up mindlessly scrolling through social media or talking to my best friend so I don't feel alone. I don't enjoy social occasions where he wasn't there. I also start having paranoia and anxiety if he's gone for too long. After we broke up, there was a period of time we were sort of together again because of life circumstances (from Dec 2019 until last Sunday) and I felt normal again. I also dealt with my BPD shit and could significantly mitigate my emotions when he was away and also during fights. But last Sunday I had to move to another city for a new job which spells the end for our relationship and I've just been back to same the old unmotivated, sad lump of shit. I just keep feeling a sense of dread and heaviness without knowing why. I'm constantly on the verge of tears. My luggage is unpacked and things are everywhere and I just don't feel the energy to unpack and put things away. I have also lost the enthusiasm I had for the new job when I was with him. Doesn't help that I'm back living with my parents after moving out with my boyfriend 3 years ago and it's not exactly the best environment at home. I haven't slept in 2 days. This existence is hellish and I don't know how to cope. I did try therapy but there aren't any good therapists in my area that's also within my budget. Does anyone have any advice or anecdote about a similar situation they went through? Even words of comfort are appreciated. Thank you.