My boyfriend broke up with me out of nowhere almost two months ago and it feels like no time has passed. There wasn’t even a good reason on why he broke up with me, it was so sudden and now I am broken. I feel like others will view me as pathetic for being so hung up on a guy but it was a serious relationship. We lived together, we had a dog together and I expected him to propose and be with him for the rest of our lives. Instead he rushed to move out and away from me. I feel like I am disgusting and a failure. I don’t like my job. I don’t have many friends and the ones I have are not close friends. I just want push everyone away and disappear. He visited recently to pick some things up and it was only then that I realized how broken I truly am. When he was here, I felt whole again and like life was worth living again. But then he practically ran out the door from me. So I feel like a disgusting person again. I’ve thought about jumping out of my window headfirst onto the pavement. I’ve drank and taken pills. Nothing fixes me. I am worthless and wish I would cease to exist. But I keep living this empty life. Faking my smiles, pretending that I am keeping it together for others sake. It’s all a lie. I wish he would come home. Or I wish I would die.