I really hate it. I worry about anything that could cause a fight. Anything that results in feeling slighted, whether it's "real" or something I've overanalyzed. This is the part of me I wish I could change, but never can. I write a heartfelt comment to someone and they leave me on read? Instant freaking jealousy (if they reply to someone else). Spontaneous depression, and just feeling lousy. 

What part of this programming is supposed to help me survive? This constant fight or flight crap? It just makes me wish I didn't exist and I wish it'd just stop. I'm truly capable of happiness just....not like this! 

Just hoping to understand it I guess. Thanks for listening to my rant.