The past three weeks have been excruciating. He left me after he promised he wouldn’t and I feel like I’m floating in a void. While I can finally eat again and I’m not crying everyday I feel like I’m frantically trying to convince this boy that he needs me in his life. I honestly feel like some kind of obsessed creature who’s chasing after someone who’s behind a brick wall.

I know he’s not coming back but I wake up every day and hope he will come back. He’s the first person who picked up all the bits my abuser left behind and now she’s just thrown them on the floor and broken them again. 

What hurts even more is there’s a girl flirting with him on his Instagram posts, he’s assured me he’s not interested but I feel physically sick thinking about it.

Any one know how to manage this disorder and breakups? I’m scared to use google because I know it’ll make me seem like the monster when for once in my life I can confidently say I did nothing wrong to make him leave. I know this will all pass but it’s so hard to cope when I’m stuck in a lockdown unable to leave home at all. I have friends but they can only do so much to calm me down. 

If anyone else is going through something similar don’t hesitate to reach out I’m happy to talk and chat about things and we can sort it out together, it helps me feel better to help others in need while I’m also in need!