I hate my mother. Just looking at her makes me boil with rage. All I can think about is how differently my life would be if she had just been a half assed mom. 

I wouldn’t be so emotionally unstable. I wouldn’t have BPD. I wouldn’t have a books worth of self destructive coping mechanism I developed to deal with my childhood. 

Our relationship has become exponentially worse the past few months. I can’t help but blame her for everything.