TW: body image issues, panic attacks


hey so i can't seem to convey quite what i mean to my therapist so i figured i'd see if anyone here gets it.

my mental health got worse over quarantine i have been pretty much completely inactive since i barely even had to go anywhere. previously i was a student athlete but i've gotten really out of shape in the past year and a half. i feel gross about my body rn, a little about how i look but mostly just how little i can do and how bad i let it get.

recently i've tried to start working out again, but as soon as i do anything strenuous and get out of breath i immediately feel like shit for how out of shape i am and i get panic attacks from it sometimes. i have no idea what to do because the obvious answer is that i need to start small but it's so bad that even walking too fast is tiring and gets me into that mindset so that trying to be healthy and take care of myself feels self destructive.

has this happened to anyone else? and if so how did you deal with it? any advice is appreciated cause nothing i'm trying seems to be working