I'm so pathetic. I don't have anyone other than my SO to confide in. And I try not to bombard her with my BS because she has her own issues to deal with. 

But a little part of me is jealous when she spends time with her friends. I literally just sit alone half the time. I am so damn lonely and I can't even tell my SO because I don't want her to feel bad or guilty. 

I'm happy she has friends she can have fun with and hang out with. I don't ever want her to think otherwise. It's normal to have separate friends and separate things. I'm just embarrassed that I don't have anyone else. And I don't even want to tell my SO that. I'm very outgoing when we go out and put on an act to be the "life of the party", so she kinda thinks I have a ton of friends.

 But I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like I'm ok to have fun with, but no one ever wants a real friendship with me. It's like that saying: "Everybody loves you, but no one likes you". Wish I could figure out what's wrong with me.