I have had a hell of a month. 5 weeks ago I went through a traumatic event, 2 weeks later I went through another. The feeling of panic is mostly gone but I’m still struggling. 

It’s hard for me to sit at work at my desk because my mind keeps racing, I cant sit at home and watch TV. I keep convincing myself that something is wrong with me and I’m never going to get better. I have these bouts of derealization/depersonalization where my mind convinces me nothing is real. I don’t feel like I’m living, more surviving. Days don’t have meanings anymore it’s just another day I feel like I have to live through this hell. I’ve been “mourning” my past self afraid I’ll never be that person again. 

I signed up for therapy, and the first session went really well but yesterday was my second session and she cancelled on me. I’ve also been taking Hydroxyzine because my doctor told me I’m just having an “episode” but that was a month ago. Sorry for the vent, I’m just not sure what else to do at this point.