It was speculated I had bpd since I was 13ish, and I was diagnosed officially about 4/5 years ago now. it was reconfirmed that thats what I had by multiple therapists and psychs over the years. The criteria had fit me and what I was dealing with perfectly. 

I’ve been in and out of very toxic relationships for years though (and I do take blame for some of that), but over the past 7 months I’ve been seeing a guy who treats me well, and our relationship is very healthy. We communicate clearly (something I’ve always struggled with), work through our problems civilly, rarely argue - but when we do it’s very to-the-point and constructive. I’ve had nearly no symptoms the entire time. Ive had my low moments like anyone else, but my mood swings are pretty much entirely gone, my fear of abandonment is still there but not nearly what it used to be. I feel like my own person, I feel comfortable being alone, im not overly attached to him, I’m just living peacefully and working on myself for the first time ever and it feels SO weird. 

We mutually agreed recently to take some space to ourselves so I can focus on recovering from a surgery I just had and so we can both figure out some other personal matters. I was the one who suggested it because my recovery has been stressful, and I’m very snappy because I’m partially immobilized and it’s thrown my life off by a lot temporarily, but *i recognized* that I needed my space, and he did too. I’ve never been able to do that without immediately feeling as If I can’t live without whoever I’m dating and going right back to them a day later. Right now I’m shockingly… perfectly fine. I feel secure in our relationship, i don’t feel abandoned, I’m doing really good. 

I don’t want to correlate all of this to my relationship because I think it started about a week or two before meeting him. I went though a breakup prior that i didn’t handle well at all, but moved on fairly quickly from because the end had been in sight for months. I was really depressed and suicidal for a bit, but one day just had a random renewed sense of purpose, started going out and making friends, going on dates, working out, getting my shit together, etc. and I’ve always been introverted. It didn’t at all feel like my usual highs, it just felt ‘normal’ and healthy. 

I know I’ve done work to regulate my emotions better but it feels like what I’ve done doesn’t exactly correlate to how stable I am right now, if that makes any sense. I think it’s possible that maybe over the years I’ve gotten better and haven’t been able to see it because of the relationships I was in, but I’m just very confused. I don’t know if this is temporary and I find it hard to believe I didn’t have bpd to begin with. I’m obviously not upset about it but just worried I might snap back suddenly. Nearly 8 months of next to zero symptoms, brief DBT months ago, no medication, like what the hell happened? Anyone else experienced this?