Now that I'm going to therapy, my self-esteem and confidence has gone up a lot.  However, I can't get over a lot of things in the past. I allowed people to treat me like complete shit and did things that I didn't want to do to feel validated by other people. I get flashbacks to the time I had sex with this guy in a school bathroom or the random hookups that I had with men off of tinder. I even had a threesome with this guy and his friend, so that I could be with him. I was even sexually assaulted by him and still kept chasing after him. I can't believe I stooped so low. Half of these guys weren't even my type. I know that a lot of women have gone through things like this, but I just feel like the things I did don't even compare to that. It even hurts more knowing that other people know about this past that I had. I even remember my friends telling me that my standards were extremely low and that I was very easy. I can't believe I didn't see this at the time. I feel used and I don't think somebody could truly love me. It's easy to say to just accept it and move on. But, it still affects me that I was completely blindsided by a lot of these things until now. It has ruined me mentally and I keep trying to put a lid on these emotions by "accepting and moving on." But, I can't because they keep coming back to me at random times.