 

So I had this friend in my life, I met her 2 years ago. The conditions under which we met were especially strange. I was at the mall with one of our mutual friends, who just happened to be her best friend at the time. She came and hung out with us for a bit. I was an extremely awkward teenager who didn't know wtf to say to an attractive girl, so the only thing I said to her the whole time was a mocking remark when she mentioned that she forgot where she parked. "How do you lose your car? You're 18 not 80."  
Anyway, the next day she hit me up telling me it was really nice to meet me and that we should hang out sometime. We'd hang out once every couple of months for about 2 and a half years, until May of 2020. This time when we hung out, we just clicked. It felt like I'd met my soul mate in friend form.  
We started getting along really well, and begun to hang out 3 times a week. We'd always text and knew pretty much everything there was about eachothers lives.  
She eventually mentioned to me that she had Body Dysmorphia and upon learning this I encouraged her too see a psych. She didn't want to at first but after about a month of pushing, we finally booked one. I took her to her first appointment as she suffers from anxiety and could not tolerate the idea of driving there.

I helped her out in countless other ways, I would:  
Sleep at her house to make her feel safe when her parents left town. She had anxiety around being home alone at night time and found it impossible to sleep when she was.  
Pick up her calls whenever she needed me, regardless of what I was doing.  
Give her lifts to places. (She had anxiety around driving unfamiliar routes)  
Spent an entire weekend with her setting up the house for her birthday party  
Bring her food from my work in an attempt to get her to eat  
Just constantly support her really.

For the next few months we were extremely close, but after our first major conflict it became obvious to me that I was no longer her "Favorite person". After our first major conflict, in which I told her that I don't feel like I can be the only person she comes to for emotional support, she started clinging tighter to her new boyfriend. Who up until then she didn't feel like she could confide in because she wanted him to think of her as bright and bubbly. (She actually said this, and writing it now it's fucking crazy to me that she did. Pretty much just admitted that she was putting up a facade for those close to her)  
Ever since then we had a few other major conflicts, one regarding an angry text she wanted to send to an ex. For context I was in a group chat with this ex, and searching her name in there, we found that he would talk shit on her, making really personal hurtful insults. My old best friends biggest insecurity was her weight, and seeing her ex call her fat really upset her. She wanted to send him a text confronting him on this, but this ex is mutual friends with some of my other mates though so I told her that her doing that would make me uncomfortable. She did not like this. We argued about it, but after talking it felt resolved.

Eventually she would start slowly distancing herself from me and would only come to me when she wanted something. I'd show resistance and hesitation but then she'd manipulate me into agreeing to help. I called her out on feeling more like a utility than a friend, she didn't like this either.

The last big conversation I had with her, I went all in. I called her out on lying to me, not respecting my feelings, not respecting my time, her manipulation, her guilting of me whenever I complained/stood up for myself, her lack of apologies for anything. I could go on but I won't. Point is, I called her out on all her shit and told her it needed to change. This conversation went on for about an hour and she eventually just shut up and stopped talking to me. Only contributions being "I want to go home" or a sighed "Ok". The most mind boggling shit to me at the time was that one of the things I called her out on was a lack of apologies and even though the entire conversation was about how she hurt and wronged me, come the end of it she still hadn't even apologised. I even called her out on that specifically and still, no apology!

Anyway, after that she suddenly became too busy to hang out with me, even though she was now on holidays. Ever time I'd ask to hang out, she'd keep telling me "I'm too busy, sorrry :( we hang out soon though." She'd keep stringing me along with messages like "You're my soulmate in friend form!' She even called me for emotional support after an STI scare in her relationship, apologising on the phone for being so distant. But eventually I'd had enough. I couldn't sit around sadly waiting to see my best friend again. So I sent her a message asking what was going on. This was her response:  
[https://imgur.com/a/u7j7wyF](https://imgur.com/a/u7j7wyF)

Damn, I really went on a tangeant and I didn't even explain everything but I've given you a bit of context. Where we stand right now is what I want help with. She never even apologised for anything, or said goodbye even though I spent hours crafting a heartfelt goodbye.  
Instead she has only contacted me 3 times since

.The day after our friendship ended, I put up a song on my instagram story (this one if anyone's interested: [https://genius.com/The-microphones-headless-horseman-lyrics](https://genius.com/The-microphones-headless-horseman-lyrics)

) in which the line  
"I miss my closest friend" appears. I captioned it "hits hard". She wow reacted it and told me "I looked up the lyrics lol" This was the first text she sent me ever since our friendship officially ended. Sent after my heartfelt goodbye (which is viewable at the imgur link)

.Once to seek my support again, she told me she was feeling really paranoid. I told her she hurt me, and im angry at her, but I'll call if she needs me. She changed her mind about wanting my support, acknowledged her behaviour was shit, but didn't apologise.

.Again to inform me that she was diagnosed with BPD - I assured her I didn't think she was a terrible person. Honestly I see this as a sort of "image preservation" so I don't go talk shit on her to my mates or something

But yeah, never an apology, never a goodbye, never even an acknowledgement of any of what I had to say. She's only messaged me 3 times, as mentioned above. I sent her a message explaining to her how much she hurt me (viewable here: [https://imgur.com/a/u7j7wyF](https://imgur.com/a/u7j7wyF)

) With this message I wanted her to correct me and tell me she does care about the friendship ending, I wanted her to know how her recent actions had hurt me and was seeking an apology. But it's been 3 days now since I sent that. Im still awaiting a response.

Ever since she started distancing herself from me, I genuinely feel like I've been living some of the worst weeks of my life. I was codependent on her, my psych even says so and I believe it. She was so much of my social life, and emotional support and now shes gone. Theres a hole there now, a void. She won't apologise, or act like she cares about the friendship ending and it emotionally ruins me to realise this.

**TLDR:** BPD best friend, suddenly distance herself from me. Ending friendship when confronted on this. I've apologised, and sent her a heartfelt goodbye. She discovered she had BPD after friendship was over and let me know this. I sent her a [message](https://imgur.com/a/u7j7wyF)

telling me how much she hurt me. Both in regards to her method of ending friendship, and her perceived uncaring, cold attitude towards the friendships end. She hasn't responded. Should I give up on waiting for an apology? Or should I confront her on not apologising? To feel like the end of a friendship only mattered to one party is honestly emotionally devastating. She was my best friend, and I'm gutted that our friendship is over.