TW: mental harmfulness 

I, a sophomore student in high school, have anxiety. My anxiety comes from a few things that I went through in the past which left a heavy scar on me. Online friends really got me through my hard times because I am scared to be vulnerable in real life. I don’t like crying in front of people, I overthink and get scared so I resort to my online friends so I don’t need to vent face to face. Does it help? Sometimes. My anxiety has been sky high today and expressing how I feel online feels better rather than in real life. But then I can never fully process my emotions, bottling them up till the glass breaks. I truly, really want to do better but I don’t know if it’s worth trying anymore. I am in a battle between mentally destroying myself or doing better by pushing my limits. Me and my family have been through a lot, but it feels as though I’m the only one not progressing and it feels humiliating. 

I’d really appreciate if y’all know how to handle this. I’m scared to allow myself to feel emotions that I’ve been bottling up over the years because I am scared to be vulnerable, and my anxiety just ruins it all.