so umm today something happened but before that CONTEXT - so from the last two years i have been hiding my face under a mask this became a daily routine so much so none of school friends had seen my face for the first 6 months  (i shifted cities  during covid  so new school ) , so when i first started going to school it was around January 2021 and we had to wear mask as it was mandatory (i was never a guy who didnt liked his face i knew i wasnt hot but i was average and it was kinda good cuz its not like i could do anything abt it ) and when i first wore that mask and went to school i kinda felt relieved as ppl dont have to look at my face and i got scared cuz i had no idea i would think something like that and as the time moved on this got way more serious so much so even after been going to school for months a handful of two or three kids had seen my face and the only reason they had seen it was prolly because i was drinking water or eating and umm this is where the problem begans the ppl who saw my face had a weird reaction or a reaction i never thought i would see they all said 1 thing " I LOOK DIFFERENT THAN WHAT THEY HAD EXPECTED " and this could have meant anything but bcz no one specified it i thought it was something horrible i started hating my face and the mask became an essential part of my life but then slowly i was getting fed up of myself i was thinking to myself why do i think that what if different is not actually bad and its just bcz u dont show ur face more often that ppl think its different and then i would say fuck it who cares what they think but smth would happen and that something happened today i was feeling good abt myself today so after school instead of rushing towards home i stayed with my friends for a while everything was going well but then one of my best friends a guy i really like (not sexually he is just funny and we play valorant together) asked me to remove the mask as no one was wearing it so as i said i was kinda feeling good so i did and yes the initial reaction was that i look different but then he said something he said i look "ugly" and umm at that moment at that instant moment i was abt to burst tears i quickly wore my mask again and jokingly saying" YA well ur mom still sits on my face every night "(i am fucking savage) and the topic was over i stayed there for another half an hour before leaving and when i reached home i was just angry i shouted at my mom at my lil brother i didnt wanted to eat i blocked him on insta and then unblocked him (i am pretty sure he didnnt even realized it i mean why would he i am just a no fucking body in front of him)   
after lunch i went to sleep but i cried i cried a lil bit cursing myself   
i dont know what i am supposed to do i was not like this i dont want to be like this i want to be confident i want to say fuck u to him i am sad but i dont want to be sad i see ppl with real issues and i think what a fucking bitch i am crying over my fucking face i am pathetic i dont want to be pathetic .  
I M LOST   
HELP ME