The other day I had a panic attack because I called my boyfriend at a time I thought he would have his phone on him and he didn’t answer. I called three times over 20 minutes before the panic attack was full on. I started looking up accident reports. I thought about driving his route to see if there were any wrecks. Turns out he was fixing something on his car and had left his phone on vibrate inside the car. Why do I automatically start thinking he’s dead when he doesn’t answer? 

I’ve only ever lost someone to a car accident once. He was riding his bike at night and a car hit him and drove off. Also we weren’t in contact much at the time (we talked a lot and then had a falling out a few weeks before he died), and it was 8 years ago. 

Anyway this happens like a couple times a month. I don’t understand why I have this irrational fear that my boyfriend has died every time I can’t reach him? Is it because of my friend’s death? Does anyone have any insight on or experience with this kind of thing?