Why am I such a failure? I am 20 years old and I only had a job for like 4 weeks in April. I am too scared to get another one even though I need one to pay for university (Fuck you FAFSA). I have bad social anxiety and I sometimes stutter and mix up my words which makes me not like talking to people. It didn't help that I lost contact with friends after COVID hit which ruined my self-confidence. I worked at Lucky's as a bagger. I sometimes had trouble talking with people and there were many times when I felt stupid.

\-One time I was asked to open the box filled with ice after putting the code on the lock, I tried to open it but I couldn't open it. The customer was nice enough to do it for me but I felt like an idiot.

\-I was asked to put away corn and I couldn't find where so I ask the produce worker where they were. He pointed and my blind ass couldn't see where and so after walking away from the direction of the corn, he looked annoyed and rolled his eyes and pointed at the corn directly.

\-When I was sweeping the floor a customer got mad at me for not knowing where a certain product was and yelled at me for just standing there with my phone. I tried to explain to her that it is the store's phone and we scan QR codes to mark where we swept but she walked off mad.

\-I had to put away a handicapped shopping cart but my dumbass didn't know how to use it so I tried to lift it up from the parking lot back to the store. The person who used it saw me and explained to me how to use it.

\-There was a coworker that bothered me a lot. She made me nervous. She kept mocking me for being shy. She got mad at me various times for not greeting a customer, saying thanks, asking if they need a bag or assistance, and not saying let me get you the ice mam to that one lady. She mocked me by saying oh he is new and put me as a bad example when she was talking to customers. She also kept checking how I bag and got mad when it wasn't her way even though a supervisor told her to stop that and leave me alone. The breaking point was when she told me to hold the "buggy" of the cart for the customer. I didn't know what that was so she grabbed my arm and placed it on the front of the cart and the customer grabbed the side where the handle was. I felt humiliated as people were watching me figure out what a buggy was and thinking is he special ed or something? That's when I decided to quit. This is why I am scared to get another job because of my social anxiety and thinking that I will do stupid things. My sisters were disappointed when they found out I quit. Another reason I think I am a failure is that I am scared of driving a car. It has almost been a year since I got my license and I haven't properly driven a car since then. A driving instructor taught me how to drive but he made me very nervous. He yelled at me for making mistakes like when he said to turn into the street and I reacted too slow and turned into the sidewalk. He was so frustrated. I always get flashbacks of him yelling to this today. I begged my oldest sister to cancel the appointments with the instructor and for her to teach me instead. She taught me enough to pass the test but there were at least 3 times when I almost hit a car while practicing. Two while merging lanes and one because I was yielding and went while a car was still passing. All 3 times the driver beeped at me. Sometimes when I ride with my 2nd oldest sister she gets frustrated at other drivers for cutting her off while merging and other things which makes her angry and nervous. This makes me scared of driving. She says sometimes that she regrets buying a car and misses taking the bus because she hates careless drivers. I just feel like other people my age will laugh at my lack of confidence. I get jealous of my friends who post how well their life is going. They post about their romantic relationships (some are already planning marriage), their great academic achievements, their time at a fancy university, and their great friendships. Meanwhile, I don't have a girlfriend, doing decent academically, but no extracurriculars, going to a CSU, and I haven't seen my friends in a long time. Any advice?