I feel like every time I interact with anyone, I want to apologize for literally everything I do. It's not just one mistake or thing - how I talk, the things I say, how I don't look interested enough, how I might have talked over them, how I didn't ask the right questions, how I wasn't concerned enough, how I wasn't listening enough, how I awkwardly blurt out things during silence, how I look at people, how I move my hands, how I fidget, how I get up to pee all the time... it's just exhausting. I hate every aspect of myself, all the time, every time. I love my friends but being around anyone is just a constant reminder of how inept and shitty and selfish I am. I hate myself so, so much. I ruin everything. I'm just a shit person. I hate myself so so so much. 