My 5, 4 now cats are pretty much my children and the only reason I didn't kill myself in the first place, because I "chose" to let them leave instead of killing them at birth so I had a responsibility to take care of them. They're pretty much the one reason I was still here. Period.

Today, 2 days after the second anniversary of one of the 3 "small ones", one of them literally died on my legs. They just ate and were in my room to sleep as always, and the most cuddly one that has constantly be with me for two weeks jumped on my legs to sleep on me, once again. Except that he quickly fell sideway and after 10 seconds it was over. And he looked perfectly fine, if sick a bit often but nothing serious, before this. he went from the most lively cat and clingy there was to this, in 10 seconds, without any medical problem.


I just can't deal with this mess anymore. 
If I didn't took him in my room and if he didn't receive anything to eat he probably would still be alive at this point.


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