What's that noise? Is that a new smell? I often drive around hyper-aware of all the sounds my car makes and it drives me nuts. 

This is amplified exponentially before a big event such as a road trip. I've got a well-built offroad rig and me and a bunch of friends are heading to Ouray (I live in CO) for a week of  camping and wheeling. For the past two weeks I've been an anxious mess. I spent a good week chasing down a suspension noise -- found it. Now I'm even more hyper-sensitive to noises for fear of something else being broken/loose/wrong before the trip. I've spent hours under the truck checking things, making sure all is torqued correctly, no leaks, no prior offroading damage, etc. 

I leave tomorrow and my anxiety has been so bad that it's causing me minor panic attacks. It's also bad enough that it affects my moods and I can be irritable. My GF has been a superb supporter, but I know it affects her, too. I don't even have any sex drive when I'm in deep into my anxiety. 

Then there are thoughts like 'will I break something on the trails, do I have all the spare parts with me, what if something happens that I can't predict, what if, what if, what if'. Most of these thoughts are not consciously formulated in my mind but they run like a deep current, always there. 

I'm seeing a professional, I've got emergency Xanax, and I've been really learning Stoicism. I've been trying really hard to not fight my anxiety, but to accept it when it happens but challenge my thoughts. I've been trying different approaches, but in times like these, when I'm ready to set off on an adventure, it's really, really hard. 

Thanks for letting me vent, guys. I know it's gonna be great and I know I'm gonna have a memorable trip, but for now I can't help it. I'm not super productive at work because I can't focus. I'm thinking of excuses not to go (though I will NOT follow though on that; I'm going).