I feel things way too much, to the point of I can feel euphoric or emotional pain. I don’t know how to change that. I don’t want to be like this anymore. The way I view and feel emotions is strong. 

When I’m angry it can last days. I can be happy at one moment and crying my eyes out an hour later. I haven’t cried this much since I was child, it’s embarrassing. 

I’ve always been “moody” or “empty” on the inside, I never truly figured out why. I use tv, games, music to escape reality a lot. The negative impact I’ve had others that I love, because I was foolishly blinded by emotion. 

I apologized, again, and again. They forgive me, but it always feels wrong. I don’t deserve forgiveness. It’ll happen again. It’s not that I don’t have control, but I get defensive and it’s me vs them. 

Specifically people I know who know how to get under my skin. I think I exaggerate a lot. How I am when I’m happy is a completely different, for a little while my world isn’t so dark. This is a really toxic trait, but I get “favourite” people. 

I become more talkative with them, it’s like my whole perspective unhealthily changes. It just happens, I’m trying fight it by giving myself more alone time, and others space. I hope I can get some real help.