I’m here laying in my bed, it’s 6AM. I haven’t slept in days since she left. I lost the love of my life and it’s all entirely my fault. I miss that woman so much, but I guess if I really wanted her that badly I wouldn’t have driven her away. I phoned a suicide hotline not two hours ago, and they hung up on me, though understandably the woman on the other end of my telephone sounded very, very depressed herself. The only thing that’s kept me going these past few days is the idea that killing myself would ruin my now ex girlfriend, but the pain and guilt I feel over her leaving is too much to bear. I’m afraid to sleep, and I can’t eat. I just want the pain to go away. I’ve had a genuinely miserable life and now the one person who ever truly brought me comfort in this cruel world is gone. I don’t want to leave for her sake, but as my body gets weaker and weaker and I become increasingly exhausted, it’s getting harder to cling to that reason. It would be easy for me to take my life, and to be honest, yet again I’m at a point now where the pros are vastly outweighing the cons.