I'm twenty three years old and diagnosed bpd.  It's taken a really long time to get to where I am now and yet it seems like I've made little to no progress.

I've had depression and self-injury issues beginning when I was about thirteen.  Had a full on mental breakdown a couple of years ago and ended up moving back home with my parents because I haven't been able to keep a job longer than 4-5 months in my entire life.  I went to multiple psychiatrists, was diagnosed as bipolar and just had every medication thrown at me.  I tried multiple medications and combinations of medications but nothing seemed to have any sort of positive effect.  After giving up all the meds and treatment for a year and moving to a different city, I felt like I was ready to see a doctor again and also started to realize that I may have been misdiagnosed.  I went to a new psychiatrist who, for the first time, I felt listened to me and also confirmed my suspicion.  DBT sounded like everything I had wanted previous therapy to be and I was relieved that there might be another option.

However, at this time I cannot afford to enroll in a treatment program.  I'm working with the psychiatrist I saw to find psychologists that use DBT techniques in personal therapy and other alternatives.  However, I am feeling really discouraged.  I've felt miserable my entire life and have never really been a functioning and contributing member of society.  I'm currently enrolled in college (for the third time) and even without having to work, I am struggling.  It's hard for me to have any hope for getting better when nothing else has worked and I don't really even know what it means to be happy or normal.  

I don't have any close friends or anything and no one to turn to.  Every relationship I've had has ended catastrophically and I fear that I will never be able to have a healthy relationship or even maintain close friendships, and as you all can probably relate, it's really important to me.  It's awfully discouraging when I read articles about how you should never date anyone with bpd.

I just want to know that there is a chance that I can feel better, that I can be FUNCTIONAL, and that I can maintain a healthy relationship with someone.  That ended up being much longer than I thought so thank you if you read all the way through.