Is anyone else here obsessed with their BPD? Almost like you center your whole identity and personality around the fact that you're borderline? I feel like a lot of my internal dialogue focuses around how my symptoms will manifest in my daily life, almost as if I am forcing myself to have symptoms. I even fantasize and daydream about raging on people who have hurt me in the past and think about the awful things I can say to them. It gets to the point that I am worried I could be on some ego trip and could secretly be a narcissist? I don't feel inherently grandiose, in fact I tend to believe I am below everyone else. I also feel like I can't really be around other ppl if I know they have BPD because if I feel like I have to compete with them via symptoms or like I have to present the exact same way as they do or I am not actually BPD. Lol I probably sound insane right now.