I’ve never heard of anyone self harming this way and it’s getting really bad 

I can’t even really think about myself or who I am for to long before I just want to pull my hair out or punch every single tooth out of my mouth. 

I’ve been a pretty complete failure at everything I try and do, and I’ve hated myself for as long as I can remember and I’m not sure why either. I think I’m just sick. 

I constantly fantasize about killing myself in a way where nobody would find out for a while, and they’d assume it was some sort of murder/accident when they did. But the fear of hell being real and actually having to face the wrath of god for my sin is really the only thing stopping me. 

I think I’m just gonna do it eventually. It’s kind of what I tell myself when something goes wrong. “Won’t matter when I lull myself, I won’t care when I’m dead” all that stuff goes through my head.