i have a crush on a coworker and i completely ignore him when i see him, don't say hi, don't look his way, never initiate conversation, but i always want to be around him. if he's in my department i LOOK for excuses to be exactly where he is because i KNOW he will initiate with me. he's super friendly and nice and playful with me and i always go along with it and i flirt when he does. i feel like he can tell im interested but I'm sure i  confuse him when i pretend he doesn't exist. I'm just so scared of rejection and I don't want to expose myself in the workplace because I love my job. But I really am interested in this guy and it would be cool if it would go somewhere. I'm newly diagnosed bpd and bipolar but I've been struggling with these things for so long. just trying to see if anybody else does and how you all handle it