When I get exhausted from any relationship I isolate myself for some time to gather my energy back. My ex-best friend was very toxic, she bombarded me with all her boyfriend issues and personal traumas, I got very weak that I started to subconsciously distance myself for some space but trust me whenever I isolate myself, I come back again, it's just my way of coping up. During that time my best friend insulted me in front of everyone in the college using my BPD and ADHD, it's been 5 months now but still I get triggered and traumatised by the incident, she never cared about what crisis I was going through. 
I really cared and loved her (platonic love). She's in my class, and every time I see her, deep down I scream inside that come back, I need you to help me. 
My abandonment issues got boosted and now I feel that if I hadn't had BPD my life could have been better, I would have been more accepted and living peacefully.
Pls help me.