I have a relationship with someone who is my FP, and they’re absolutely wonderful, caring and nurturing. 

The problem here lies within myself. I am EXTREMELY jealous and resentful of them. They grew up with money, being a model since they were a baby, getting anything they wanted and genuinely one of the most physically beautiful people I’ve ever seen, (for those who know who lil uzi very is, he even hollered at them), they could genuinely attain anybody they wanted, but chose me. I found the golden unicorn, the most rare of people, and I find myself filled with a sense of rage because they are perfect and I am not. 

Last night I said something extremely shitty to this person, out of impulse and jealousy. I can’t stop making comments like this and it’s destroying us. What I’m trying to get at here is I have no idea what the fuck self identity even is. I was asking them over and over what is it? How can I attain it? How can I become secure in my deep insecurities? If these things could be resolved, then I believe my symptoms of bpd could go into remission.