A lot of this is clearly just bad timing but that doesn’t stop me from feeling this way. My best friend is pregnant and ever since she found out over a month ago or so its only ever been about her and her baby. I get it, its exciting being pregnant with your first. But that doesn’t mean we can *only* talk about your baby. I haven't had one 'normal' conversation with her in over a month. And the only time we had talked about me and what's going on in my life was when I was in the ER. Other than that, if I am not talking about her current situation, its read and not responded to. I finally got a new therapist after not having one since covid hit. I really need one too and I was so excited to tell her, however her response was about her newest ultrasound. 

My boyfriend is out of the country right now to visit family so I get we're not talking too much, but still, I cant have a regular conversation with him, about me that isn't ended by a snap or three of what he is currently doing. Cool you’re at the beach, that’s great, but frankly I don’t give a crap right now, I've seen the ocean enough times myself, I want to talk about what is currently going on in my life. I'm really stressed out with school starting up again and I am not ready to move into my new on campus apartment with all my new roommates, I'm not ready for classes to start and everything. My PTSD is getting worse and I'm not entirely sure why but I cant even sleep because every single night my dreams have been about my ex who is the cause of all my PTSD. 

I'm staying with my parents this month while my boyfriend is out of town because I don’t like being home alone. And my mom is going through crap with her and my dad fighting so every conversation with her is usually about my dad and her ranting about it and me having to try and give her relationship advice. Don’t even like the sound of that, a 20 year old giving her mother who's been married for 31 years relationship advice. We hardly talk about me, and when we do, its not even about me, its about my friend or my boyfriend. How they’re doing.

I just want to talk about me for awhile. I want one of them, cause I don’t have any other friends, to ask me about how I am feeling. I want one of them to carry the conversation that is more about me than it is them. That’s all I want, just at least a 5 minute conversation where they are wanting to know about me and my life.