i’ve started talking to this guy [platonically] for the past 2 weeks because he was persistent at wanting to be my friend, and it’s going pretty well. i was handling it fine at first because i didn’t know him, but i’ve come to see that he’s consistent, kind, and seems to genuinely care about my thoughts and opinions. i’ve also noticed that i’m really looking forward to our texts since i check my phone frequently… when i’m bored, when i’m busy, when i’m still half-asleep. i’d do this before him, but now i have messages to actually look forward to.

i also started fantasizing about him (it’s not unique to him, i regretfully fantasize about anyone i’m feeling close to) and what it would be like even though i’m not attracted to him, and i want a specific type of person and relationship. but that goes all out the window when i feel.. seen by someone. i legitimately fear that if we meet in person i’d try to have sex with him, lmao.

how do i create boundaries and avoid losing control? i still don’t know him well at all, but i can already feel myself developing an attachment and it’s giving me anxiety. i’m also worried i’ll find out something about him that conflicts with my values, since my values are one of the only consistent things about me—but i have a habit of getting accidentally attached to problematic men and not being able to leave. i feel like that would really disorient me and i don’t want it to affect my life again.