I want to be loved so badly but when I get it I can’t accept it. This leads to me cutting ties with the person as soon as they declare their love for me. This is only in the case of friends and people I’m dating. 
When my family tell me they love me I don’t believe it but I accept the idea that they think they do or that they at least care for me. 
I also can’t really feel other people’s love for me which is probably why I need constant reassurance from family. 
I think it could be because I see how my disorder affects people and therefore I can’t believe that anyone could love someone so destructive. 
I don’t even think I can feel love for other people so I shouldn’t get into a relationship with anyone even if I like them cause it’s just not fair. 
I’ve screwed up so many relationships because I can’t accept love when it is given freely. 
Can anyone relate to any of this? Or am I just too far gone.