Im learning to lower expectations for myself and realize that just *going* to the gym is a huge accomplishment for me considering my social anxiety, even if I dont do everything PERFECTLY. So far Ive gone consistently 3 days a week, for 3 weeks! I feel more confident about myself now.

But.. I still feel like people are staring or judging me. I know it isn’t rational but man it sucks and I hate that feeling. It is feeling like it gets a bit easier day by day, but I am just tired of it. I just want to try the smith machine or the barbell but I get so scared and feel like I cant breathe. 

Today I was able to actually gain the courage to walk around the area to see how it was, and ease myself into the situation. I wanted to try it and was disappointed in myself that I left without trying it. But I am over that feeling now. 

Next time though on Saturday I will try it!