For instance, I can play video games for days at a time if I’m playing with my friends, but if they’re all busy with other things and I’m on my own, I can’t find the motivation to play— or do anything, really. I’ll spend my time laying in bed and browsing my phone instead of doing anything fun or productive, because if nobody is around and nobody knows, what’s the point?

Another example: a few years ago I met somebody that I really liked, and it pushed me to lose 60lbs. It didn’t work out, and I gained all the weight back. If I hadn’t met him, I never would’ve of lost the weight, and now I’m struggling to find the motivation to do it again for myself.

 I don’t know if this is related to BPD, or just something personal, but it’s frustrating.