I found out that the first time I verbalized I wanted to kill myself was when I was seven years old. Not because I remembered, but because my father told me in an argument. 

Having a father who suffers from depression, I'm mad that he never pointed me in the right direction. It's not that he's anti-meds, as he takes them himself. I'm just angry that now being 22, only starting treatment a year ago, I have missed out on so many years growth and treatment 

&amp;#x200B;

I don't really know what I'm expecting from posting this -- I guess just as an outlet.