I’m just a disgusting human being who no one will ever love. I don’t count my parents, because they will love me no matter what, that’s what makes them good parents. But whenever I try to talk to a girl in any romantic setting, they quickly lose interest. It’s like I somehow manage to repel women from my general area due to my disgusting personality. I don’t know what makes my personality so horrible, but girls seem to hate talking to me so it must be something. I’m 18 years old and still a virgin, isn’t that just pathetic?? So many of my friends lost their virginities at 16 or even 17, but I’m so fucking pathetic that I couldn’t even get a girl to touch me. I guess that’s not entirely true, one time at some stupid high school dance a girl I had a crush on danced with me for a bit. But I just didn’t know what to say to her, or how to interact with her. I didn’t know how to make her like me, as much as I liked her. She danced with me for about 10 minutes, then walked away, when I tried to dance with her again, she basically refused. It just comes down to me being a pathetic little disgusting idiot who doesn’t know how to talk to the opposite gender. I leaving for the army in 3 months, and I’m guessing I’ll be too busy with training, or my duty station to talk to girls for the next 5 years. Even if I do get a female colleague, 95% of active duty army is male, and I’m sure she’ll probably be used to pathetic virgins like me trying to hit on her, so why even bother? I’ll just make myself look like a  creep. Even right now, I’m on vacation in Mexico, and I’ve been trying to pick up girls the entire time. And whenever I talk to one for more than 5 minutes they just walk away and treat me like I’m a weirdo. Probably because I am a weirdo, because I am just a pathetic horrible douchebag who could never attract anyone of the opposite gender. Part of me wishes I was gay, so I could forget about women and for once feel what it’s like to have romantic affection. I’m just disgusting.