Just miserable every day, every time I feel like I’m making a few steps forward in life, something brings me 10 steps back. I literally wake up hoping that something killed me and I’m dead or hoping while I’m driving I get brutally hit in a car accident and just get even more sad that I’m still alive. I’ve already been confronted by family if I’m having suicidal thoughts and had to pretend that I’m not so they don’t bring it up anymore cause they simply tell me “to stop being depressed.” Idk how to shake it, I’ve tried but I don’t even try to hold friendships anymore, let go of a lot this year just hoping that if I’m gone I’m gonna hurt less people when I’m not around anymore.