It sucks feeling so inhuman because of this one thing. I've spent my whole life trying to be better and it never feels good enough. I worked the first day of my job today and ended up crying in a backroom in front of three other employees. People were nice about it and afterward told me several times that I was doing good...but part of me feels like a normal person wouldn't need so many platitudes. I wish I could at least pretend to be normal, but I can't even do that. It could have been worse, people were actually very nice about the whole thing.... But it's tough carrying the weight of this for so long and always feeling like you're not as capable as someone else.