Hello everyone, I'm straight **M 23y**, and decided to share my story and ask for help. Lately, my life has been suffering from my **performance anxiety**.

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**This is the whole story** (from the beginning until now)

I had a long-term relationship (my 1st love). Everything was working well but I had PE because I was inexperienced and couldn't control my ejaculation (the tension went parabolic so fast).

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After that relationship, I was about to have sex with someone else, and I've found out that I have performance anxiety (now when I look back I think it was partially because of the PE experience from a previous relationship). 

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I was reading some Reddit posts about it, I've learned that what I suffer from is called performance anxiety and I tried to overcome it on my own. It went quite well, I slept with a few girls. From the start, I was not able to get hard on the first try. But the second time we tried I did it. I just had to relax, chill, be present and enjoy the time. (I was hard even the first time, but once we started to undress I was so caught by the anxiety that I immediately lost the erection)

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Lately, I was even ready to overcome it the first night we tried. But then I met a girl that I was not ready for. She was extremely hot, older than me, and I thought that she is out of my league. So I wanted to perform extremely well and therefore I was so under pressure and stressed. I decided to take a pill on the first try so I wouldn't mess it up. But we smoked some weed and I was stoned and the pill didn't work properly so I was even more under pressure.

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Well, we tried a few more times but I was extremely under stress that it didn't work properly 2 more times (I got hard but then lost the erection because my mind was captured by the anxiety that I will lose erection).

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So I had to leave the relationship. **I was completely broken**. I had anxiety all day, thinking about having sex with anyone would be a problem if I can't have an erection. I had tough depression for 2-3 weeks and I've completely **lost my libido**. I **wasn't even able to masturbate** because I've lost the erection during the act. So it damaged my psyche even more.

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Now It's been a few months. I've reached professional help (but they only advise me to change my view - it's not about performing but about enjoying. And also advised me to realize that it's in my mind and get back to the present time and give my attention to the girl instead of my anxiety). I started to meditate daily. But my libido is still not completely back and I'm still afraid of the performance anxiety.

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I just wish to get rid of it. Now I'm avoiding contact with girls because I'm afraid it might end up with sex and I won't be able to get an erection.

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I'm looking forward to any advice and help, please.

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I've also read that "**guided imagery therapy**" is very helpful, but I can't find any and my psychologist told me to look upon the internet (lol). So if you know about any, let me know, please.

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**MY GOALS**

1. Regain my libido
2. Overcome performance anxiety
3. Find some guided imagery therapy (so I can reach goal n. 2 easier)

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**TLDR:** 

I had a 6y relationship with my 1st girl. I was unable to control my ejaculation due to inexperience. After the relationship, I had a problem with having sex with other girls. I've learned that I have performance anxiety (partly because of an earlier lack of ejaculation control). I was overcoming the "issue" step by step on my own. I was getting better and more comfortable (almost overcome it). Then I met a gorgeous girl that I was insecure with (I thought she is out of my league. I wanted to perform extremely well, was under pressure. It didn't work a few times, she was sad, I fell into a depression so hard that I haven't contacted anyone for 2weeks. I was caught up in anxiety all the time. I completely lost my libido - because now I have sex related to a huge amount of stress. I wasn't even able to masturbate, I lost my erection during masturbation. I was truly broken. Now I meditate for about 2 months, I visit a psychologist but it doesn't help so much. 

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I'd love to overcome the performance anxiety (even step by step). And I'd love to regain my libido and taste for sex again.

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I've heard that guided imagery therapy is very good for overcoming performance anxiety but I'm unable to find any.

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Thank you so much for reading and for any advice. Even though it might not sound that bad It was probably the toughest time of my life, I was broken for 2nd time in my life, and I hit the rock bottom.