My fp was also incredibly kind and understanding towards my situation. She did everything she could to make me better and communicate with me properly. Eventually it was too much and her own depression made her too suicidal to deal with my issues. At the time I was really jealous of a guy friend she was close to and I got suicidal and would cut myself any time they met up. She broke up with me but I begged her to not get together with him because I would get suicidal again. She promised me she wouldn’t. A few months later and I find out they’re together. I started splitting and my own depression started up again after like two months of relative stability. I know telling her I get suicidal when she talks to him/spends time with him is manipulative but it’s the truth and I felt like I had no other option to save myself at the time. I need a rational explanation for why she would date him knowing that I’d get suicidal because of it. Even lying down in bed is painful now and all I want to do is stop existing.