A reddit user messaged me just a while ago. And it made my day.

Earlier today on this sub, someone was upset with a post I made. I wasn't mad at that person or anything the entire time. I could completely see how it would be easy to misunderstand what my intentions in that post were after all. I did my best to clarify any misunderstandings and asked for what specifically I said they didn't like so I could reflect on it and communicate better in the future. They got a bit heated and rude, and I was honest about letting them know that but wished them well and hoped they felt better. After all, it was clear to me they were struggling with their BPD's black and white thinking throughout my exchange of trying to have them explain why they felt the way they did. 

And you know what? They messaged me and apologized a few hours later. I cherish that message. I really do. It's so heartwarming.

To you who sent me that message, you dork, you deleted your first account! Don't exile yourself from this community! You were pretty down on yourself in your message, and I get it. I do. I would tear myself up when I acted in a way that hurt others after I calmed down too. But while you might not believe me right now, you really are such a good, kind person.

I said it before and I'll say it again. We people with BPD can do some hurtful things. It's unfortunately all too common with our disorder. But part of DBT's radical acceptance is about accepting the past is the past; what matters is what we do going forward. Do you have any idea how much character, how much courage, and how much genuine good heartedness it takes to reach out to me and apologize? You are exactly the type of person I admire most. You're a good human, and don't let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise. :P

I decided that I was going to be more active in this subreddit and just spread positivity. Encourage people who wanted and needed it, from the mods to the ordinary community members. And I was going to be bluntly honest when people were being twats. Because yes, we have BPD, and no, that doesn't mean that our bad behavior is okay. It's important to be frank and tell someone when they're being rude or hurtful or mean, but remind them that doesn't make them a bad person. Be compassionate. You know they struggle with BPD too. Be honest about their behavior and also be compassionate. Give them a hug, tell them you hope they feel better, help them have the courage to reach out and make amends and just say sorry, that was wrong of me.

For me at least, going from how severe my BPD was to where I am now where I feel so genuinely happy in life required that I took responsibility for my behavior and actions. "I was a turd and I'm sorry" was how I managed my splitting and honestly? That often brought me closer together with the person I hurt. 

So I just wanted to say that I sincerely wish nothing but the best to everyone here. Yes, even you people who make those meta "this sub is shit!" threads. I know you're going through a hard time. I'm still going to tell you your thread is adding to a flame war. But I'm also going to tell you that I hope you feel better because I know how you're struggling with your own BPD. Every single person here deserves compassion and encouragement and recovery. The people in this community do. The mods do. That person who messaged me too. And especially you, the reader.

You all are wonderful people. &lt;3