I’m never happy with where I am. I am currently a freshman at a college (UC) I didn’t want to go to in the first place. I’m not on campus but I’m already trying to transfer and I know I haven’t even given my current school a chance but I’m so worried about putting in all this effort to transfer to another UC and then not getting in. I’ve been obsessing over the future and trying to get away from a place I haven’t even been at. I’m worried about my relationship being long distance next year when instead I should be appreciating the time we have together now When I’m not worried about the future I’m stuck in the past constantly overthinking previous friendships and decisions and essentially gaslighting myself. I feel like I can never be happy. It always feels like I’m anywhere but where I want to be. I’m starting a new therapist soon and hopefully starting lexapro so I hope that helps. But after having this mentality for so many years idk who i am without anxiety. Anyways, thank you to anyone who read this far I really needed to rant.