This had gotten worse the older I've gotten.  Maybe it's menopause,  too. I don't know.  Many times,  I'll see coworkers chatting at work.  I'm older than they are by 10-20 years, but my BPD is probably also affecting this feeling... I'll walk over to join the conversation,  and feel like i don't belong and no one wants me around them,  and it makes me sad and anxious. 

I already suffer from anxiety and depression.  One interesting thing did happen today; i met a lady my age and we discussed getting coffee some time.  It's hard to make friends here.  

How do you feel less awkward, if you do,  I  situations where you feel no one wants you around? I feel stupid, fat, messy, and dumb - my meds make me forget stuff a lot. I'm a mess.