Idk I feel dumb and first world problems. I have other more valid things in my life bringing me down like soaring housing costs, covid, juggling work and school… but I feel like I was handling it relatively well. And then this happened and shit hit the fan. I was a person with generally good mental health. Never been medicated, slept like a baby, looking forward to the future, healthy habits, gym goer all that normie stuff. It all came crashing down. I’m such a piece of shit now. I don’t take care of myself anymore. I’m on ssris and also benzoes when shit gets real bad now. I’m still on a waiting list for therapy. 

I thought I was decently good looking before, just had a big nose from the side. I regret it so much. I don’t think that I’m being too picky either. My result is objectively bad. The doctor did a shitty job. Obvious scar that doesn’t line up, nose tip off to the side, deformity on my nose bridge because my nose was reduced too aggressively, my nostrils look fake and weird because they were cut too much. I don’t know if it’s fixable. And some things I’ll never get back. My nostrils won’t grow back

I feel stupid and I want to die. I miss who I was. I want my face back. I want to be that bubbly girl again. 
It was expensive and now I need even more fucking money to reconstruct my nose. They might need to take rib cartilage to build up dents in my nose. Even if that doctor offered to fix it for free I wouldn’t trust him again. So no I needa pay a whole ass new doctor. I’m only a part time worker atm. I needa put college on hold again to fix that asshole’s mess?  Can anyone else relate? Am I a whiny dumb bitch?