So, My 21st birthday is in two days and my brain is going over every possible way for me to skip the whole day, either just disappear somewhere or just sleep it through. Why?

It's because i feel like i'm going to breakdown so bad and cry all night and then feel empty when the day ends or just go into this long\-ass phase of depression, Why do i feel like i'm going to breakdown?

Well for starters i think i'm already breaking down, and also because it's a day where i feel the most lonely throughout the whole year, My parents just get a cake and celebrate it with me and it's nice and all but that's pretty much it. I hid my age on facebook \(Like 4 years ago\) so that it won't notify people when my bday comes up because it's just really stupid that people you barely know or barely talk to just come up and wish you a happy birthday and to them it feels like an obligation rather than something they want to do and it's just so fake so i turned that off, And ever since then, only a handful of people\(family members included\) remember my bday and wishes me a happy bday, and that's it, I'm one year older, my life is shitty, i'm not doing anything about it, I pity myself and just go into this mental state of self loathing and hatred, I'm sure you guys know what i'm talking about.

TL;DR My bday is coming up, I'm scared i'm going to breakdown and feel like shit for a week or so after.