“I’m bipolar.” 

“I’m bipolar type 1”

“I have bipolar disorder.”

“I have bipolar disorder type 1.”

“I have bipolar illness.”

All those statements were attempts to describe myself after my diagnosis, Bipolar illness, at the ripe age of 25.

The following years were defined by this list (this is not an attempt to ‘brag’ but to show my journey): 

Vraylar

Lithium

Venlafaxine

Levothyroxine

Lamictal

Abilify

Latuda

Depakote

Risperdal

Clonazepam 

Bupropion

Zyprexa

Tegretol

Venlafaxine

Citalopram

Escitalopram

Duloxetine

Trazodone

Parnate

Provigil

Concerta

Ritalin 

Caplyta

Ativan

These medications were part of the psychiatric plan to improve my life and/or to manage resulting side effects. As years progressed and none of the medications worked, I lost hope. I abused alcohol and other drugs. I was mean to my friends and family. My anger took hold, and impulse ruled my life.

I didn’t know what to do. I was lost.

I knew I needed help, but I was ashamed by my previous actions resulting from mania induced psychosis all the way down to depression. I felt that I couldn’t ask anyone close to me.

So, I reached out on an online forum to ask for help.

Here is the post: [https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/comments/823bu8/stuck\_in\_the\_middle/](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/comments/823bu8/stuck_in_the_middle/)

The user who responded to me changed my life for the better.

A simple comment to hold onto in the dark. It was the spark I needed to keep the fire of my life alive. 

A stranger took the time to help me therefore others might want to help me too.

From the ember of that kindness, I learned something about myself – I never gave up.

\-

Years later, I am healthy and in a much better place. I am on the path to becoming a functional human being again. I will never forget the comment. I only wish I could thank the user directly. My hope is for them to see this and know how much they have impacted my life.