For clarification:

* Psychoanalyst and clinical researcher Margaret Mahler defines object constancy as a child's, and later, a person's capacity to recognize and tolerate loving and hostile feelings toward the same object; capacity to keep feelings centered on a specific object; and capacity to value an object for attributes other than its function of satisfying needs.


Lately I've managed to actually start doing this with my friends. Although we argue a lot less now, we still do BUT instead of me splitting and hating them because of the argument I've managed to understand that I am both mad at them but still like them at and consider them a friend at the same time.

 Its happened with like the past 3 altercations (all different individuals) so I feel this may be my brain finally learning how healthy people manage relationships! 

It's amazing to see with DBT and counselling and my own work that my black and white world is becoming more and more grey :)