18 male. Prescribed: Vyvanse, Adderall, Gabapentin, Trazodone. I have also been on various SSRI from childhood.

I have been dealing with bad Anxiety and Depression since I was 12. I also have ADHD and was diagnosed at 16. I smoked marijuana daily from ages 14-16 in order to self-medicate for ADHD and Anxiety. I also used nicotine vapes (puff bars, juul). I no longer smoke or vape for reasons I will explain below.

Right before my 17th birthday, I developed an extremely uncomfortable Globus Pharyngeus after a suspected upper respiratory infection. I attributed the globus sensation to marijuana tar from my lungs getting stuck in my throat because I was also coughing up brown phlegm. As you can imagine, this caused me extreme anxiety and I went to my doctor. I was referred to an ENT and a GI doctor and diagnosed with GERD/LPR. My doctors suspect that the stomach acid and pepsin from my acid reflux reaches up into my throat and causes the globus. 

Over a year has passed since I stopped smoking marijuana and my symptoms are still present. I have learned how to properly take care of myself (diet, exercise, therapy/meds) but I still have massive anxiety over my throat. My main fear isn’t that it means I have a serious illness, but I am afraid the feeling will never go away.

Every doctor has told me the same thing: I need to get my anxiety under control because it is probably preventing my body from healing. I am clearing my throat and swallowing all day. I used to try and cough up the mucus that I felt in my throat, but I now actively avoid this because I know it is counterproductive. As hard as I try, I cannot go without clearing my throat. I don’t know if it’s just anxiety, but it feels like I might choke or suffocate if I don’t do either. It’s almost like how people with Tourettes describe tics.

It feels like I have exhausted all other options besides asking for a strong anxiety medication to help. I have read multiple accounts of people with similar symptoms experiencing relief with Valium. I am so desperate right now. My thought process is that if I am able to alleviate some of the physical anxiety symptoms I have (clearing throat, coughing, feeling like mucus is stuck) then my throat may be able to heal itself properly. 

I am nervous that my doctor will think I am drug seeking. I know that Valium has high abuse potential and people my age should not take it. I am desperate for help because I do not have a life anymore, I break down almost every day over this. My mother has even voiced that she supports this, but I know it isn’t up to her.

I need serious help. I’d really appreciate any advice.