I'm (F19) a very impulsive person. If I'm sad I hurt myself, but if I have the horns I do even dumber things. 
Earlier this evening I was in that state of mind and I planned to meet up with a stranger from the Internet in the morning. I regret it now, and I can just barely afford the train ticket to his town. 

At the same time I feel like I owe him this since I already agreed to it. I also feel like my guts have been scooped out with an ice cream spoon, and I'm in shock and disbelief of my own stupidity.

How do I stop this shit? I'm sick of doing things I always end up regretting. I feel more ashamed about this than my self harm.

Also, am I a bitch if I cancel the hookup?