Does this make sense? I often find it difficult to verbalise how I feel and what goes on in my head. 

When I was diagnosed with BPD I was relieved to find out that there was a name for what I was going through and I wasn’t just “crazy”, but also upset knowing that basically my whole personality and life is defined by this one condition. 

I feel like I am not an individual person, but rather just definitions and examples of this disorder I can’t control very well. 

I used to worry that I would read examples of what other people feel on this subreddit, then grasp at any familiarities to be able to say “wow I can relate to that” to subconsciously seem more interesting, but I showed my boyfriend a lot of these things and he basically said “if you told me you wrote any of this I wouldn’t doubt you for a second, this is you to a t”. 

The relief was helpful at first, but now I feel empty and sad because I genuinely consider myself to be a shell of a person. I have few hobbies and an apparently great personality but it’s all fuelled by my internal insecurities and obscurities. 

Can anyone else relate to any of this? 