When my boyfriend wants to be alone or like listen to music with headphones or doing something in his own I feel abandonded. 

We had a big fight because he can't sleep sometimes so he listens to music or watches vids in bed at night or early in the morning. I get suspicious over it. Maybe it's my need of control too, I'm not sure whats bugging me about it. 

Of course I want to have my own time too, but I rarely enjoy it because I feel like I have to push him away and love him less. If i'm enjoying something alone it feel almost like I'm cheating him and i have to stop loving him first so I can avoid being abandonded.

How can I accept that we are separate human beings with both in need of personal time and every time he gets absorbed to something else than me, how can I stop feeling abandonded and hurt?