i’m making this on a burner account but it was two tuesday’s ago my dad had be struggling with mental illness and addiction to coke, alcohol and xanax (he was prescribed but misused) witch is somewhat thanks to his phych who “wasn’t a councler” just sombody who gives you pills with no questions asked, and trust me we want to sue his ass but anyways the day it happened he told me he was up for days because of his sleep apnea when i knew it was coke or somthing else but i tried not to notice because my family’s been a mess for the last year or so so i d stopped asking questions or connecting the dots he said a lot of things before that and cried to me because he was too messed up and tired to drive me to my senior clearance so i had to uber i mean it sucked but it wasn’t a huge deal, when i got back he promised my graduation would be a great day and him and my mom would be there whitvh was that sauterday. i ended up going to my boyfriends house that night and nothing was off until on the was home my friend/neighbor asked me if i was okay i automatically knew something was going on at my house so i called her and she told me “rumor on the street is that your dad killer himself” i immediately called my sister thinking he can’t be dead but the second she answered the phone i knew it was true. He had been arguing with my mom through both there phones in the river and destroyed the whole house he then left for a little but came back for somthing. when he came back he screamed at my mom and sister some more and ig in his delusional state thought the cops were outside shot twice out the window then once in his head…. my family’s been a mess and we soon found out he left us with a shit ton of debt because he had been frantically online shopping maxing all of our credit cards.oh yea and i also found out he had been hitting my mom recently,  it makes me sad bc all though he always had rage ans it was scary he wasn’t always like this and i always thought it would get better but i guess that’s untrue. i think i’m looking for advice by posting this because i’m so lost and we can never go back to my house so i’m just a confused mess who still hasn’t fully prosseed what happend