hi there, this is my very first post on reddit so sorry if i violate the rules or whatever.

so basically as the title says, i feel totally trapped in my own life. im 20, without a drivers license still (ive been trying to practice but i just get so anxious and frustrated so ive never gone for actual test yet). i live in a very car dependent area and no public transit runs in my area either so im pretty much screwed. i do have a job, i work with my mother which can be stressful at times when we disagree about something. im also a full time college student, though idk if thats right for me anymore.

now onto my home life. maaan it is insufferable. i live with my parents and a brother. my parents' marriage is clearly very strained and has been for a long time. my mom has even told me that she can't get a divorce "for everyone else's sake." now, my brother is 29. he doesn't have a job and has no intention of getting one (he hasnt had a job in more than 5 years, and even then he only kept it for maybe a week). so he doesnt contribute to bills or anything, and the only chores he does is taking out the trash every week. my brother has no mental health diagnoses, but he has always been extremely erratic and has serious anger issues. he has tried to hurt me before but my mom stood in front of him. he punches walls and throws things when hes especially pissed.

lately, hes gotten much worse. not with physical violence, but with very concerning words. he constantly says horribly racist things and sometimes even things that are incredibly threatening and scary. my mom has tried to bring him to therapy once but he now refuses to go to literally any doctor because hes also a hypochondriac and thinks doctors are idiots and only want to make him sicker.

my brother's behavior has put an incredible amount of tension on my household. right now,i have no way of moving out as i have no credit and even if i could, i have no reliable transportation. i just feel totally trapped like a prisoner while my family drives me insane with their problems. ive struggled with suicidal thoughts many times. ive called the national hotline (in the US) several times. ive been to therapy a few times, but didnt have much luck. i did get diagnosed with depression and anxiety, though. now i cant even go to therapy without shelling out a huge chunk of money because i lost my insurance lately.

i just feel like i have absolutely nothing going right at the moment. im truly stuck. any tips or advice would be appreciated