Kk, I know it sounds weird and I can't quite explain it myself. So I was hanging out with a few friends (yes I'm surprised I have friends too) and anyway they invited one of their friends, who I didn't know. So I started hanging out with this friend of theirs and I was genuinely happy while hanging out with her. I can't really describe it as anything other than I liked her. I would've tried something but I started thinking about how much of a shitty, useless person I am. Even if I tried anything there's no chance that she'd even want anything to do with me. 

Fuck I just needed to get that bullshit off my chest. Sorry for wasting your time people.