I am a person who does a lot of research as a means of understanding myself, and I also tend to over intellectualize my feelings. That being said I’ve been doing lots of reading on remission rates with this disorder.

The good news is most of us will no longer fall under the diagnostic criteria for BPD within the next decade (maybe two). The downside to this is even within remission, total recovery is at a 50/50 chance. This is defined by having complete social and vocational functionality, so holding down jobs, relationships, and self care. It’s so frustrating and heartbreaking to know that even after years of putting in the work, sometimes it doesn’t mean you’ll thrive. We spend our entire lives just trying to exist and put  one foot in front of the other that we lose this critical time to learn people and life skills. That really fucks us by the time we are 30-40. 

I’m lying here in bed with this total doom mentality about all of it. I’m already pissed at the unknown universe for giving me this fucked up disorder, and now I have to “radically accept” that it very well could fuck me over long term. How does one even want to try to work towards recovery if it’s not promised? My only hope is research and funding increases for us in these upcoming years, and maybe there will be an even better treatment process for us. One can only hope. r/