
I’ve made a post(s) about this elsewhere earlier but in a nutshell, my partner has BPD and mild schizophrenia, all diagnosed. My main point is to get an opinion/answer from all of you to a question that has been bothering me for quite some time.

I. Background
I am 18, my girlfriend is 21. We’ve known each other for around 10 years now and been together for 3-4 years.
When we got to know each other, I didnt register anything out of the ordinary and even if I had, I would have fallen in love no matter what. I suppose it must have been a rough start for me after I realised what was going on but I sort of bypassed it as something I have no power in and decided to do my best to make the both of us feel better.
During the past months or year I’ve started taking a different stance, I still want to make us feel good but I’ve been wondering about ways to make her life easier as a whole.

From what she has told me, she would probably end her life if we ever broke up but I have no intention of ever doing so. She has often spoken about getting married and I’ve come to realise that its probably what I want too. With all her ”faults”, I still love her more than anything.

II.Background
Another weird feeling I get from time to time is uncertainty about the nature of our relationship. I sometimes wonder if Im only pretending to love her because I pity her or because Im afraid of her. I guess love and pity arent mutually exclusive in a way. It just feels bad not being able to do anything concrete besides holding her, trying to talk to her when she is going through a bad time. At one point very happy, then hateful and then so sad that she honestly cant bear it. At times its as if she doesnt feel anything, just stares into nothing. It might sound cliche but thats how it looks like to me and thats what she has told me during her normal and stable mood period. Additionally, I’ve noticed that my mind tries to imitate her’s as in not being able to quite tell how I feel and why. I suppose thats quite normal.

As a person at the very core she is very strong, stubborn and smart, maybe pretty arrogant but to me those are the features in her persona I fell in love with. That and everything else that she is comprised of.

So at the core my question might be about wanting to know how exactly I could be more helpful and supportive.

Thanks in advance!