I work, sleep, go to doctors appointments, work again, sleep less, more doctors, more work, no time for enjoying things, toxic family, losing grip on my dreams

But..I'm working my ass off. Every day. I'm doing what the doctors told me to do. I'm earning, I'm taking care of myself, I'm putting effort in.

But everything else around me is the same, and I feel like I'm being held back by my family. "You can't move out yet, you arent stable." "Your job is fine, just don't settle for retail." "Do this. Do that." "That's not funny." "Gaming is a waste of time" 

Sometimes I wish I was still in the mental hospital. Being able to just exist and not worry about if I need to feed myself, pay bills, if I'm going to cry in front of people, if my family is going to be toxic.
I miss being happy. Being actually happy. Not making, not laughing for a few seconds and then immediately telling myself its not funny and I'm lame, not constantly being told my goals aren't meetable. "Maybe later." "You can't move far from us" "you aren't able to tale care of yourself" 

I can't do this anymore. 
I want to cut them all off. I'm so sick. It twists in my throat. I'm so fucking done listening to them try to beliitle my constant hard work and effort.
I'm so fucking tired.