TW: suicide, TW: self harm 
Earlier this week I tried to overdose and a friend realised from the weird messages I was sending her and called an ambulance. Had a bad night in the hospital with me finding myself in a random corridor not knowing how I got there and how to get back. Also the nurse told me I had called her in with no idea why I was there or who I was and I'd ripped off the bandages to my cuts on my arm and was asking what happened. My mental health case worker came the next morning and said there was no beds on the psych ward so I just had to go home. 

Had a session with my psychologist and just felt like I let him down. Just I know he's trying to help but just can't find the strategies useful but I just keep getting told to keep trying and they'll apparently get easier and more likely to work.

Also had a follow up meeting with my psychiatrist and case worker. Found out even though I was top of the waitlist for DBT I didn't make it. All he's done is increased my meds. 

I dunno what I'm really after just needed to get my thoughts out. Just tired of feeling like shit, would love a break from being myself even just for 5 mins.