I don't like cutting people off but sometimes it feels like its the best option for me and other people. 

I'm adamant about letting people into my life because it hurts me to see them worried about me or think of me as my condition. I dont like hurting people. But you know, its unavoidable to hurt people or be mean to them or send mixed signals when youre nearing an episode or in an episode. As much as I can, I dont tell people what i'm going through because I dont want them to feel like they have to be there for me. I refuse to accept help or comfort because I avoid being needy. And these things make them feel bad. Bottomline is, I know i'm built for relationships of any kind. 

I cut off 3 people in the past week. And I feel really guilty about it.  I feel bad about cutting them off because i've built some kind of routine with them (And i'm a sucker for routines). They're great people. However, Im relieved they wont have me in their lives before I even become toxic. I'm just trying to protect them from me. I'm also trying to reduce the number of people who'll mourn about my death in the future. 

Do any of you feel the same way? 
Do you have this dilemma as well?
'How do you go about it?