I’m hoping this is just part of the process. A few weeks ago I was doing puzzles, started reading books, slowly developing hobbies. I was taking care of my hygiene and sticking to a routine. It was getting better. Then I started a new job with long hours and lots of work. It felt good keeping busy for a while but then my social anxiety kicked in and I’m depressed all over again. I had to quit my job. How fucked is that. It makes me feel so shitty about myself. I cheated on my bf with a coworker I kissed and I didn’t mean to i was drunk and didn’t expect the attention. It makes me feel like shit about myself. I made a mistake because of how low my self esteem is. Now I’m back to square one. No interest in puzzles or reading or brushing my teeth or showering. Just wanting to die feeling like a terrible person who will never accomplish anything. 


I don’t usually get many comments or support on these so I’m just gonna say what I want to hear. I’m in no place to return to normal life right now. Starting over now is better than later. I have to do it again, heal slowly, and work on myself. I’m not perfect and that’s okay. Start again and learn from my mistakes this time.