I can't help it, but my brain automatically shifts to a negative view about everything and wants everyone to stay away from my interests in an irrational way. For example, programming? I don't want new people to get into it because I have this fear that newcomers will make it harder for me to find a job. Drawing? I want to be the only one good at it in some irrational way, even though I know I lose nothing if other people are good at it. Pokemon cards? I get upset when I see the hobby growing.

And it's not like I think I'm the one winning in these things in my head and want people to keep staying out to win more, for example in programming I know that a ton of people are just so much better than I am at it and will go a lot further, because they don't have the same lack of energy and just spend more time on it. It causes me a lot of stress and hurts my head and sometimes keeps me up at night.

It's not that I think people don't deserve it as much as me out of arrogance, it's more like this toxic alert brain mode where I see other people as threats all the time that will try to and likely will succeed me. I want to stop it but can't and default to getting stressed over things like this.