I’ve had bouts of health anxiety for several years, ever since I had a deviated septum. I stopped my antidepressants cold turkey towards the end of last year, and for a short while — I was okay! I felt happy and alive.

Then the end of December into January of 2022 came, and I’m assuming the withdrawals hit. My anxiety reached an all time high, it felt like it did when I had my first ever panic attack. Now, I’ve been dealing with a health anxiety spiral since January. Ended up in the ER because I was convinced something horrible was happening. They did an EKG &amp; chest x ray, blood test… all came back normal. Diagnosis? Anxiety.

Now, I’m on new meds. Lexapro, propranolol, &amp; hydroxyzine. Seraquel at night.

My current issue? I’m scarred from these last few months and my anxiety episode, anytime I go to the doctor now… my blood pressure is high. My main health anxiety is centered around my cardiovascular health. Which is strange. I’ve never had a heart murmur, heart issues, etc… but am convinced something horrible is going to happen to me.

The only thing I’ve changed? I’ve lost ~60lbs in a year and a half. I’m still overweight, I want to lose weight and be healthy. But the issue is that I developed an eating disorder, which caused my eating habits to become shit. I barely eat, definitely am not getting the vitamins I need. One meal a day type shit. It’s ridiculous. I also struggle with GERD worse than I ever have, and I’m 99% sure it’s anxiety causing it + stress. 

The point is… one of the main things I’ve been scared of is exercising… getting my heart rate up. Which is funny, because we have to do that to stay healthy, right? So- starting tomorrow morning. I am going to start taking 30-40 minute walks DAILY, along with 10 minutes or so of gentle yoga.

I’m nervous, but I cannot continue sitting on my ass staring at screens daily. I can’t. That is going to kill me. Me being afraid to move is what is going to actually kill me.

I want to cry. This is so fucking hard. But I have to face this fear, or else I am terrified something horrible WILL happen or I’ll cause myself to actually become ill.

I’m 23f. Too young to even be scared like this. Scared of living. I have to change something.

Posting this to hold myself accountable.

Any success stories or encouragement would be great.

Love y’all. Sending hugs to my fellow hypochondriacs.