i found out a bit ago through a facebook post that a person who used to be my best friend ended their life in winter.
we had a VERY toxic friendship. i cut her off on very valid terms in like 2015. she hurt me in huge ways multiple times. however, i still grieved her loss because of course i care that she passed. in such a sad way too.
i have a post on instagram about a different, close friend who died in a terrible car accident in august last year. someone made a private account to comment underneath of that post and accuse me of not making a post about my ex friend and bringing up how she brought me to the hospital when i tried to end my own life in my teen years.
i don't check instagram much so it was sitting there for a few days and who knows who saw it. i don't want people to know my past that i've worked so hard to put behind me.

i'm so upset and just cycling through emotions and i just hate feeling this way. i hate being so upset that my mind races and my face is hot and all i can think about is how much i hate myself. and my roommate is gone and i have no one to talk with of course.