Idk, as a guy with it I’m basically a fucking autist and an incel, I feel like some subhuman abomination, its awful, I’m at a point where my mom calling everyday to ask if I’m “okay” makes me feel even worse because I just fucking don’t deserve it honestly. Anyway, yea, being a guy with this condition is fucking miserable, I’m always in my head and dating is basically impossible, and to make matters even worse I’m unfortunately a black dude in a white social circle, so, yea, im fucked.

Even worse I have developed more quiet BPD, so I can’t even just be low inhib and wild and crazy, it’s only all internal for the most part by now. Being a male with borderline sucks, I’ve realized I’ll basically always be alone until I finally end my life. Lots of dudes with the condition seem doomed to this same fate.

My thing is though, it doesn’t seem that way for girls with bpd no? They usually have relationships and go out and party and are low inhib etc. etc. so my question is, is it way better to be a woman with bpd? In some ways it sounds almost fun. For me it’s only ever enjoyable when I have brief bouts of mania and that only occurs when I’m alone listening to music and forget I’m a subhuman and a loser; otherwise it’s a lonely hell where I’m retardedly obsessed with the one thing in life I’ll always fuck up while everything else fucking falls to pieces.

Honestly I’d gladly take a fucked up dysfunctional relationship over this (provided no heroin, fent, or meth is involved); at least then I could focus on something else.