So I had serious episode two days ago, all manner of SH - triggered by something very minor. 

I did onde day and night of constant mental techniques to constantly break the thoughts over and over - still intrusive thoughts of ex and things, but I just keep breaking them. Didn't sleep at all, but spent time sitting in this 'haze' mental state, relaing, breaking the thought, disarming, relaxing, etc. etc.

The whole of today has been *easy*... I have mad nerve pain everywhere thats the only problem, but I've had no intrusive thoughts ... 
 

The world feels more real, the negative pathways - a lot have disengaged.

I've got a a few DOWNVOTES - I don't care at all, because I feel fine. When you're in an episode downvoting is a trigger and hurts incredibly. I assume this nice feeling I have now (which is just not being fucking wired) is what most dv'ers feel like most of the time. To someone who is in an episode it's incredibly selfish and harmful.

If this was 48 hours ago I would be raging and probably damage myself. (thats how bad they affect someone really bad). I would also be desperately alone and seeking support here - and it wouldn't be enough to tell me simply to 'ignore it' or 'not come here if you can't handle it' - the BPD is out of control and seeking to tell me I'm worthless, and I'm also a risk to myself

if you don't know what out-of-control means in BPD you shouldn't be allowed to use votedown. If you did know what out-of-control meant then you wouldn't use it 99% of the time. 

When you're fine it doesn't matter. When someone is doing very badly it badly affects them. 