is it possible have longer than normal episodes? like my low ones last for days on end, and i feel like i can’t get out of bed and that i’m better off dead or abandoned. i hurt myself bc i feel like i deserve it, i want to die and everything tells me to disappear on everyone. i hate myself so so much.the high ones last for that long too. they feel so drastically different but in my highs i’m .. racing constantly. i’m buzzing, and people around me can tell. i do too much at one time and i disassociate more frequently and i have i guess ‘better’ delusions about myself, and i feel so unstoppable. i want to hurt myself to prove that i’m unstoppable. i feel empty in both of these moments,  but they’re so much longer than normal, and Sometimes they only last hours.