*absurdly fucking long sigh*  I haven't been to therapy in over 4 years, so hello, Reddit. I'll try to make this as short as possible. I'm dating someone who's been one of my best friends for several years. She's always been in love with me, but I never felt the same until somewhat recently. I honestly don't remember. I feel like I've loved her a lifetime already. She's literally the best person I've ever known and has been my FP off and on since I've know her. My parents divorced when I was three becaus emy father decided drugs were cooler than a kid. I'm pretty sure that was the cataclysm that is my BPD. I was also molested for about half a year by my girlfriend's mother when I was thirteen which probably didn't help anything. Just for some back story on why I have BPD. I am now 22 years old. I still live with my mother and her boyfriend. I've never had a driver's license, and I probably never will. I work a part time job of only twenty six hours a week, and I can barely function enough to even fucking do that. I can't understand how my mother loves me, let alone someone who isn't obligated to. That's why I feel so goddamn bad about how I feel. I get fixated on things about her that bother me, and it just grows. And when I get over whatever (usually minute) bullshit it is, I get fixated on something else. It's not instantly after, and it's only over a handful of things. The severity and length vary. Sometimes it's crippling though.The first time it happened after we got together, I had to miss a week of work. Does anyone else do this? If so, do you have any advice? I know I'm crazy, and I definitely feel alone. I apologize for babbling about.