I'm slowly going crazy and I'm hurting because sometime around the beginning of May my boyfriend told me he wanted to break up. This all happened because when we first started dating he wouldn't stop mentioning his ex-gf and that created a lot of insecurities and jealousy. I was mostly jealous of how much he seemed to care about her which made me feel like I was nothing to him. My friends told me he could just be going through something and he trusts me to talk about it. I felt like I never let it go and was always nervous he still loves her and was literally making happen what I didn't want to happen which was him thinking about her and us fighting because my jealousy is getting in the way of our happiness. I tried so hard to let my jealousy and paranoia from coming out but sometimes I felt like I couldn't control it.

I'd try to talk to my partner about it but he would walk away or just tell me I need to stop being jealous and acting that way. We had a huge fight one day because we were celebrating a day we planned together and I couldn't help but think about how he did the exact thing with her and how the only reason we were celebrating that day is because she's the reason he has an obsession with a certain movie trilogy. I was acting angry, distant, and jealous and was ruining our day. All I wanted was to have fun with him and enjoy our day but I went ahead and ruined it. I knew I was ruining it and it was hurting me as I was doing it but it's like I couldn't stop. I was flooded with so many emotions. 

Since he lives towns away I can't see him that often. When I left I thought I felt him being distant. Once I went home a couple days went by and the jealousy/rage/ocd started again and I started questioning him if his ex made a logo I had a sticker of on my laptop. It's like I became another person and I couldn't stop the obsessive thoughts of
 "well did she make it?" "Well hell I can't be with him if she did!"  "I'm going to confront him and ask him!" "If he talks to me and tells me I can stop thinking about it."
 Once I asked him he answered my questions and said he made it but since I didn't believe him i asked him to show me how he made it. After arguing fir awhile he said we should break up. I was torn and after talking to him for awhile he said he wants space. I didn't want to break up especially since I knew I wasn't being my best after a major depressive episode. He said he wants space and it's tearing me apart because I know where I went wrong but I feel like if I didn't find pictures of his ex and other memorabilia I wouldn't have ever been like this. Or if he didn't compare us all the time. I don't know. I want to talk to him so bad and I have half a mind to drive to his town and talk to him.  I have been trying so hard to deal with my many mental disorders and I just learned I had bpd right before he moved. When I started my bpd meds I became depressed and gained weight all of which made our relationship suffer furthermore. He's upset I gained weight and upset I wasn't motivated enough to pass my classes or keep a stable job. I understand it all. I do. I'm afraid he's the first person I have ever truly been in love with and I don't know how to give him space. I've texted him several times and even I'm ashamed. He sounds like he's done with me. I have tried so hard to work on my mental health but the jealousy has been the biggest struggle between us. He said he can't be with me anymore if I continue to be jealous, spiteful and if I dont lose weight. Does anyone else get extremely jealous? Or clingy? How do you guys cope with that? I don't even know what to do in this instance. I'm slowly losing my mind. I want to see him so bad. I'm worried he might start going out with a close coworker of his that he talks to everyday and she's nice, skinnier than me and pretty. I'm afraid he's just going to see me as a crazy person instead and compare me to her as well and find her better and that he's going to leave me. He's insanely handsome so I can imagine no girl will ever say no to him.  What do I do during this "space?" I've been going to therapy and started taking meds for us, so that I can have a healthy mindset and healthy relationship but it takes time and a lot of effort. I feel like I'm not doing enough