Ever since I can remember I’ve had bad  depression, and anxiety and now I’m
31 and now also more recently diagnosed with OCD which explains the constant anxiety and being in constant fear. In the past the depression was more than the anxiety but now within the past 5-7 years it’s the anxiety which honestly makes it harder to live my daily life. 

I’d love to hear what others do to cope with anticipatory anxiety, or any advice is also welcomed. 

I am in therpy, and have been for over a year, I enjoy my therapist, but sometimes I don’t feel like I’m making any progress at all. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a psychiatrist, I know I need to just get over it and see one I’m just not interested in spending all this money to find a medication that works when I would love not to be reliant on medication. Currently my primary care prescribes my mediation but I go through periods where I do it for a few months and stop because I don’t want to be on mediation and I’ve seen no improvements. I recently did just start on  Buspar again last week a very low dosage but I sort of feel it’s making me a little more anxious than normal. 

Lately I’ve been dealing with constant anxiety to the point my brain won’t turn off. Mostly it’s anxiety about Anticipatory things that are out of my control, living in fear of losing a family member suddenly, a car crash, or being at a store, or event, or theme park and there being a shooting or something. And some of those things come with me thinking if I choose the wrong date/time to go it will be my fault putting myself in that situation. Every single day I’m in fear having thinking about any longer drives we have coming up whether taking my dog to his physical therpy , or driving to my moms that’s 2 hours away, and a few cruises we have coming up I’m not anxious at all about cruise ships but the drives there, and the fear of what If something happens to a love one, or my dog and I can’t be there back home. I’d say the biggest is the driving one though, I prefer my fiancé to drive on our longer drives but I typically end up saying I’ll drive because I’m afraid if I make the wrong choice it’s a matter of a life or death car accident and I can’t shake that. I’ve never been in a car accident or lost someone in a car accident so I’m not sure where that new fear comes from I used to drive down to visit my family often but now if I decide to drive down there I’m thinking about it for days and weeks in advance. Just lately I can’t shake the feeling that something bad is about to happen , and my mind won’t stop thinking worst case scenario. 

Back in May my sister called me during work to tell me my uncle died, and it was suddenly and now I’m afraid of my phone. I’m constantly afraid that I’m going to get a phone call that something is wrong or someone is dead, I’m in constant fear about my mom, my dad, my sister, my dog, and fiancé. About a month after my uncle passed my mom was in the hospital for 2 weeks with multiple blood clots in her lungs and it terrified me. And she seems to be doing okay now but I’m still in fear I’ll get a call one day. So I know both of these are reasons why lately it’s so intense but it’s really gotten to the point I wish I could calm my mind down and not be in constant fear. 

Thank you for reading! Again any advice or coping strategies that work for you would be greatly appreciated.