I've been trying so hard to put my life back together. I had a huge breakdown early in the pandemic and spent 18 months struggling every day to reclaim dome semblance of a life.

Out of nowhere this week I've been the most depressed I've ever been, just three days straight of uncontrollable sobbing and awful awful pain. I don't know how to make it stop. Nothing makes it stop hurting.

I've been trying so hard for so long and I have an important second date Friday and a huge business trip but I can barely go twenty minutes without breaking down. It hurts so unimaginably bad. I thought maybe I had a chance but I'm in so much pain and I can't make it stop or catch my breath. I don't know if it'll stop or if I'll ever have a chance at a life. I'm so exhausted beyond exhausted. 

I dont know how to "bounce back" anymore. I can't do it. Every cell in my body is just spent. How can I at least make the agony stop, even for a little while? I don't know what's happening to me and I'm scared shitless. I don't know how I can survive like this for another day let alone months.