I have had anxiety, ocd and depression since I was a kid and had my first dp episode in 8th grade (seperation anxiety). I only smoked once and didn’t like it up until junior year when weed actually became fun and enjoyable (sometimes). I smoked pretty heavily (once or twice a day) for some months and would go without for a while if I smoked too much and panicked. Fast forward to last summer, i had just lost my friend to a fentanyl overdose (we were close in high school but grew apart when I entered college) and finals week was just about to start and to top it off we were in the midst of the pandemic. I hit a dab pen a couple days after (thc oil) and freaked out. Thought I had a seizure and was terrorized with the worse dp I’ve ever had, intrusive thoughts and couldn’t separate from my mom. I asked my mom approximately 500 times if I schizophrenic, as I lost a friend to suicide due to schitzophrenia a couple years back and my great uncle on my father side suffered from it (and many other things). This lasted for about a week, didn’t eat AT ALL, I lost 14 pounds and to be put on ativan for a couple days till i calmed down. Fast forwards again to August of last year, I just moved into my off campus house with my buddies at college and slowly got back into smoking again however, I only smoked flower (as I found it the must natural and could control the dosage easier). I have been moderately smoking(with some heavy weeks here and there) since and just recently slowed down due to the fear of accidentally smoking too much and turning schitzophrenic. I made a plan with my therapist to try and cut down to 2-3 nights a week of smoking but I am still scared that I could randomly become schitzophrenic. I have been researching the link between weed and schitzophrenia and it really has been freaking me out. This has caused me to have a love-hate relationship with weed as when I smoke the perfect amount, I love it, it helps my Anxiety and helps me sleep but have sometimes where I panic and tell myself that i probably shouldn’t do it anymore. I know that “if you think your schitzophrenic, your probably not” but still, I really don’t even fear death as much as I do turning schitzophrenic