I have a really hard time letting people go. Even if I know they are not a good person to be in my life.

It's like the person will switch from villian to victim rather than villian to hero. Villian to hero (and vice versa) is more so how I have come to understand splitting and is definitely a thing I do.

For example, I have a friend who is very self-obsessed and full of personal issues, but totally unwilling to do anything different. Sometimes I feel myself judging her so harshly and I tell myself I should cut her out.

Then I start to feel guilty for feeling that way. I feel like I humanize and empathize with her. I know how it feels to feel like you have no one and I don't want her to feel that way.

I never want to "abandon" anyone because, to me, it is the absolute worst feeling anyone can experience.

I know trouble experiencing empathy is a bpd symptom, but I feel like I have intense and problematic empathy that makes me prone to being a "victim" or half of a codependent relationship.

Anybody relate or have any insight?