I’m dating my boyfriend for almost 6 months. He’s my FP, of course. But, at the begging I really believed that my BPD wouldn’t interfere in the relationship because I was seeing an specialist and treating my condition. Besides, I am self aware of the “symptoms” I normally demonstrate when I’m developing a Favorite Person, and honestly I didn’t felt that with my boyfriend. So I decided to stop my medical treatment since my brain convinced me that I am capable of dealing with the FP thing all by myself.

But I can’t. I honestly can’t. My bf is a sweet and kind boy, who obviously has many friends and that was one of the reasons that I started to like him. I am the extremely opposite, so I started to depend on him very much. I decided to eat healthier because of him, also, I forced myself into not show any signs of my extreme jealousy (I truly do not like his girl best-friend). I tried to be prettier, funnier, less unbearable for him. Still, we argue about the silly little things: last night, I had an emotional breakdown over something really small. 

I’m truly sensitive when it comes to promises, and he had promised me to play Stardew Valley with me. But that didn’t happen because he ended up playing CS:GO with his friends. Then I almost went crazy. I felt betrayed. How can he never choose me? I mean, he PROMISED. So we fought and I obviously cried all night, feeling like a childish monster. 

Does anyone relate? Or even know how to improve this situation? I can’t lose him. I can’t deal with the thought of losing him. 

(also, sorry for any typo. english is not my first language)