Usually if I'm mixed it feels awful, tactile hallucinations, the works, but this feels more like a really bad ADHD-cant-settle-on-an-activity kind of buzz, which is nothing by comparison, so I didn't piece it together right away. My guess is that I'm on topamax now as my secondary stabilizer and it's uhhh... not cut out for me. But I'm usually really good at tracking my moods so I just feel so embarrassed now for having let one run away with me without noticing. I feel like I need to apologize to everyone I know. 😕 🙃 Even though I didn't do anything particularly unhinged!!! I planned but didn't commit to a trip in December. Like put it into Google maps and figured out the stops, that's it. I feel like that's pretty good! But still. I feel like I've been caught with my pants down, and I can't decide if I should feel penitent, ashamed, both, or neither.