There are 3 exes who I obsess over. Like Facebook creeping and always feel guilty about. Here's a little back story. Ex 1) cheated on me during a pregnancy scare. Then I would lie and tell him I was dating others to hurt him back .. it was a constant war of us hurting eachother back n fourth. Even caused me to attempt suicide near the end of the relationship. 
Ex 2) He left me because of my angry outbursts and mood swings along with my constant need for attention followed by pushing him away. Ex 3) was abusive. Verbally and physically. He would punch me in the face, pinch my arms, smack me, manipulate me into having sex with him and sometimes threatened me so I would do it. And he threatened my life on more than one occasion. After the last time he hurt me I went to work the next day and my co-worker pieced together what happened. He texted me blaming me for why he bet the crap out of me because I was "Crazy" he said. My coworker helped me and I still thank her for saving my life as she too had been a victim of violence and her story gave me hope to move forward. After this relationship my BPD and depression and anxiety went wild. I was sick for 2.5 years had multiple attempts and barely left the house. During that time I went out once to a bar with a friend and met a guy who saved me. He saved me as that night I ran into ex 3 and he hurt me. This guy saved me from going back and we are still together. He is the love of my life. The only problem is I obsess over and have guilt about these relationships and blame all on myself especially since my diagnosis in february. Anyone else experience this? What can I do to move on from this and stop hating myself because of it :(