I don't talk much in group chats (with people I've met and online friends) but the second I do, everyone goes quiet or ignores what I say. Why do people do this? I feel like the person that everyone whispers about and everyone fucking hates. I can't blame them, I hate myself. I've no contact with anyone but an online friend due to toning myself down into a nicer version of myself, watching everything I say so I don't piss people off or hurt people's feelings but it's made me so quiet and I feel boring. Even my other online friends dont want to know half of the time. My rl friends lost interest because I had to stop myself from going out because that way I won't make stupid impulsive decisions or do anything to hurt them, no one cared enough to reach out and ask why and just became strangers. I'm tired of life and I hope corona kills me. Thank you and good night.