Before I get to know someone or it’s proven otherwise I have a default assumption that everyone hates or dislikes me, instead of just being neutral. For me with others I’m neutral until I pick up on something or get to know them but I genuinely believe deep down that the majority of people wouldn’t like or accept me.

I am also bisexual and in my mind I  positive that no one at work especially would accept me if they found out. There are other lgbt people at work that are fully “out” and no one seems to care, but I just believe it would be different for me.

I also think I’m so ugly that my looks are literally offensive. Like I have no right to hit on anyone or get too close because I’m too ugly.

I’m really quiet at work even though I desperately want to talk to people, because I think people wouldn’t be interested/I’m weird/they’d be bored/is be bothering them/burdening them. If someone starts talking to me first I’m not too bad at chatting back because it gives me a reason to. But most people don’t do I just stay silent all day.

All of these thoughts are so ingrained/subconscious since childhood that it’s impossible to change them, but I wish I could do something about it.
Anyone else?