As the title suggests I’m currently at a low point In my life I am 20 I am depressed confused and terrified of life around me. About 2 months ago my first love broke up with me due to a culmination of issues. At the time we had been dating for over a year and I had been living with her for this same amount of time. I created an entire life with her and unfortunately it all came crashing down. I’ve accepted this as she now wants nothing to do with me and thag has giving me closure however the pain still is there although not as bad. I have had to move back home where I was abused as a child and this hasn’t helped either I am struggling financially and I have been unable to get more work. On top of this the career that I’ve wanted to be since I was 16 (a police officer) I cannot be in my home state (I’m from Australia) and so I have to face the possibility of moving to another state to pursue this. This hasn’t helped and it’s only made me feel more confused and just depressed I have no desire to do anything I feel worn out, the only thing that gives me joy at all is hiking. Due to this depression I cannot relate to people I cannot connect and when I try I get a déjà vu feeling which only makes me more down. I have a date this Wednesday and I don’t even know if I’ll be able to go because of how I feel. I am not taking antidepressants although I have been using a large amount of weed and nangs to keep my mind centred which hasn’t helped and in some cases has made my anxiety worse. I don’t where I am going I don’t know why these things have happened I know I have to learn from them but I wish The pain would go away. I am confused about my life I am confused about who I am and I am worried that I will amount to nothing. I am losing hope in everything and I just want things to just start getting easier