Hey everyone. I’ve been trying to research exactly what anxiety or disorder I may have. My doctor deems it adhd, but I’ve always felt like it was something more. 

Sorry if this is a long description I just want to explain it exactly how I feel it. My biggest issue is that my brain will never stop thinking about a never ending to-do list but I always feel too overwhelmed to do it due to its size or it’s just completely not realistic. For example, all I can think about is how I need to organize the bathroom better, paint the baseboards, organize the closets, change all cabinet doors bc I hate them, change all blinds bc I hate them too, oh the deck needs some work and when did I last have the gutters cleaned? I mean the list can go on for days. I can work towards a few but then the list has already grown with some other random things. I can’t rest or watch tv comfortably after work because I know things need to be done, but no one can get a list done that doesn’t stop. Adderall for my adhd does help boost my mood and make me less slumpy from the frustration weighing down. But it wears off in 2 hours (I’ve tried all extended releases) and I’m back to feeling like I’m on auto pilot to get through the day’s bare minimum tasks and overwhelmed. Then I go to bed and think about all the things I didn’t get done. This has taken a toll on my marriage as well, because I blame my husband for not helping me get a million tasks done a day. Even if he’s too tired to mop the floors one day, which is totally understandable, I’ll resent him for adding that to my list. We also argue a bit because I can’t understand why his brain isn’t like mine, “how do the baseboards not being perfectly white not bother you?” I can’t go out with friends for too long because I need to get back and clean or do something on my list. I just feel trapped. My brain doesn’t stop or turn off. Weed does help me at night to wind down, but it’s expensive and I cant do that during the day. Anyone else experience similar struggles?