when i was in high school i had crippling depression and suicidal thoughts. any misstep could’ve ended it for me. i met my husband and day by day pulled myself out of my rut and it’s been almost 5 years since then. 

a couple months ago i felt like something was wrong, and a little bit of digging later i found old messages between my husband and other women online and it crushed everything i had. i live away from family, i don’t have friends, and i feel like the private life i had was ripped away. 

i feel worthless, i feel sick, i feel alone, and i don’t know if anything is even worth fixing. i feel like i want to die, and nothing could solve my problems quite like dying would. i need support but this is about the end of that tree for me