          Title says what I'm thinking. I might see a therapist soon for my issues: SH, Suicidal ideation, Anxiety (General/Social), and trust issues among other things. 

          Why do I have to be here and why do I care about what my family will think if I die? I don't know what love is anymore. I haven't said the words "I love you" in the past 2 years because I don't love.
          
          I can't keep a friendship because I tear them down with these fucking thoughts in my head and I just want my friends to forget me so I can stop being a burden. Well, I'm not totally sure they are my friends, but I feel the strain of the relationships. 

          How can I trust anyones words? I wish I could read minds so I could know if someone cared. Who would care if I died and how soon would I be forgotten? 

          I think I'm sick in the head and I just want to be normal. I never asked for life.