Does anyone know what their ideal life looks like? In my case, I keep wanting to think that my life will be better after I move overseas. That's been my goal for years and I'm close to it. I keep worrying that I'm idealizing something that won't really change anything.

 I've got friends and family but I keep them at arms length despite feeling lonely. I just generally feel like people don't understand me. I don't want to ask them for something that they can't give me. What exactly I want though is hard to put into words. I don't like depending on other people because we don't always live up to each other's expectations.