Wondering if anyone else has been in this situation..

I got married yesterday! Third time lucky due to covid! Still recovering and exhausted as hell, but can’t stop thinking about what happened yesterday and need to vent/get some advice.

I’m a highly anxious person, the wedding planning made it worse, but things that also trigger it is noise and chaos. No idea why, but it makes me feel like I can’t breathe and I get stuck in my head, feel depersonalisation etc! I take meds and supplements to try help.

Anyway – so 3/4 of my bridesmaids were really careful of this. But the Maid of Honor was particularly painful yesterday. We were up at 5.30am for hair, and she straight away started cranking rock music, and yelling and running around. I asked her nicely if we could just have some day spa vibes happening, nice and calm while we wake up and move into a hectic day etc. She then sulked, agreed for like half an hour, then went back to being hyperactive and yelling. I’ve never seen this side of her before, and I’ve known her ten years. She had been difficult during the the planning, debating everything..but I was hopeful she'd be okay on the day.

So after 7 hours of this, I was so highly agitated and shakey and freaking out, the photographer literally had to keep saying to me “try to look happy!”.. and I was like “omg, I’m literally so happy inside, but I’m just having a really bad extended anxiety attack..” So I think my photos will look pretty crap because I was so not myself, and I feel bad for spending all that money and not getting good shots. 

My dress is dainty, lots of intricacies with how to put it on and actually do it up. I asked one of my calm bridesmaids to help me get into it. Maid/Matron of Honor got annoyed as that was “her role”, pushed her way into the room and brought a photographer. (My worst nightmare being half naked in front of anyone, despite a photographer who would then own the licence to use the photos as he pleased.) Once we established, that no, I am definitely not doing photos of me half naked trying to shove my fat into a dress, she decided to try hurry me into the dress while the other bridesmaid was gently helping, and Maid of Honor nearly ripped it..which just caused me to further spiral.

So then we get into the limo to go to the ceremony, and she’s like bashed my bouquet and hers on probably every door and window there is. Like zero care. I tried to nicely say, I appreciate you holding mine, but could you just be careful with them until after the ceremony etc. So my flowers were pretty damaged by the time I got down the aisle.

Then she would say she wanted to hold my dress up, and would like, start singing and dancing with my veil while it’s in my hair, causing it to get caught on concrete before we even got down the aisle. This woman is 40, but was acting like 12. Meanwhile, I’m still having an anxiety attack, begging for just a moment of calm and quiet at this stage. The other bridesmaids were like “why can’t she read the room??”. 

I just don’t know what to do. I mean, I feel the day was tainted. Yes, I have anxiety so it’s my own issue..but I can’t help but feel I would have been so much happier if I wasn’t so pushed to my limits with her behaviour. I tried nicely to explain that I needed to be relaxed to keep my anxiety under control..and she just didn’t seem to understand. I just.. don’t want to talk to her again. I feel like I can’t get past this. Just felt that all day I was reaching out of a hole for help, and my hand was being stepped on.

Pleased to say, once I was in the safe arms of my husband, post all the bridal party photos. I was able to relax and enjoy the night.

Would you also walk away from this friendship? Or stick it out. I just feel like we were growing a part a tiny bit, but this has just kind of cemented it.. Not even trying to avoid the things that trigger me on my big day..

Part of me wants to apologise, but at the same time my day would have been so relaxed without her. And I wouldn't be sad if I never heard from her again. You know when you see another side of someone and you're just like..who are you?

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Any advice for how to handle it? Thanks so much.
 