1st time ever..... I finally realized I couldn’t “fake it”.
A woman that behaved like she was there to “support” me (in our world that really means enabling us, so we cling on for security) had a rage out on me, weird moment not being the one who raged out lol. She was upset because she wanted a relationship with me. I had my ex stay the night with a tooth ache, she had 3 teeth pulled the very next morning. This other woman asked if my ex spent the night and I said yes..... she totally freaked out on me, keep in mind I’ve said NOOOO repeatedly and I am 100% single. So she had no right to rage on me. She screamed and yelled, said she hoped we had a great “fuck” (um hello, lesbians use their what to have sex.... toothache doesn’t equal good sex lol) Again, I am single and my ex is still my FP and always will be. This other woman even knew this. I dont hide my BPD and I’ve stopped hiding intentions.

So after that long ass story..... the other woman ripped away all the layers of support she was giving (really more a roommate so not a mooch and allowed me to use her car sometimes) but my other Roomate was her friend, so they both moved out. They literalllllllly dipped out, left no money for utilities, rent etc. Left me holding the bag. Alone. BPD hell. 

Garage sale, putting stuff in storage and finding a second job and now loosing the rental I had..... I’m homeless and will be couch hopping. 

I’m absolutely scared shitless.....
Moments of fear, anxiety, crying, and laughing as reality of my situation kicks in.....

I can honestly say...... IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF !!!

Stood my ground against what was an “easy” ride but I couldn’t fake love, even though I’m scared to do it alone. Lost a few friends because of this woman. Totally fearful of all the unknowns coming way..... totally at rock bottom....

I COULDNT BE HAPPIER..... finally the moment to prove to myself I can be strong and I dependent. 
My own place, new job, facing uncertainty and doing it myself. Have had roommates so long, the idea of alone is actually tempting. Coffee in my own kitchen butt ass naked cause I can 😂 

Def not cured..... but my last few weeks of life have steamrolled me, and for once.... I HAVE HOPE