i’ve always felt more than anxious when someone gets a little too close, or i am out in a position where i might have to admit i have feelings. i feel nauseous. is this something as a person with bpd, i need to push through? i can never tell. 

anyone that i have ever opened up with quickly i have ultimately ghosted bc it’s too much. i’ve always felt this way, and even with my last ex, i never really opened up until after the relationship was done, i was essentially numb the whole time. i’ve never successfully pushed past those icky feelings, i always figure out a way around getting truly vulnerable. 

has anyone else been extremely honest with a potential partner about their bpd (but not labeling it bpd) and how fucked up it actually is? idk that fully explaining it to a new partner is smart either. i tend to be more attracted to people who are slightly elusive and not great communicators either, so i’m wondering if it should be this difficult to open up even with bpd, or if its just bad compatibility?