I don’t feel like I can have a regular conversation with anyone in this planet. I can’t laugh, smile, hold eye contact, or even cry for that matter. This anxiety and depression has taken away the old me, and replaced it with a man who doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing. Over and over again I get these thoughts in my head. I see myself dying is gruesome ways. Sticking my head down a sink and turning on the garbage disposal is what I had today. I can’t keep living the way I’m living, I’m going to come crashing down like an airplane one day without help. I’ve become what I can’t be.