My mom calls me out all the time for how I talk mean to her. We won't take about how she constantly provokes me. When she calls me out, I feel like I can't stop. I can't shut the fuck up. I keto talking and get crazier and crazier, taking about how I'm such a horrible person who can't say simple things without sounding like an asshole and the world would be a better place if I were to be put down. I'm so angry at myself that I'm like this and hate myself so much. I can't just be a normal person who is pleasant and decent. I have to be this angry, pissy, grouchy asshole who is nice and pleasant to strangers and a complete dickhead to those who care about me the most.