I myself have BPD. I also have friends with BPD I absolutely love. They can be the most honest caring and kind individuals who are just emotionally scarred and trying to get better. 

I dated a girl with BPD who never took the blame for her manipulative and abusive actions, and only considered her own feelings.

I think what is important to remember is this, us with BPD we are like anyone else who struggles with whatever it be in life, our issue we struggle with is emotion dysregulation and hyper sensitivity. 

How we choose to handle and react to our BPD is what determines who we are as people, not the BPD itself. Don’t ever let someone think you are a bad person for having BPD, and on the flip side don’t think having BPD makes you a special person or better in anyway and definitely don’t use it to excuse bad behavior.

Your emotions are always valid, you are allowed to feel the way you do. Don’t judge yourself for how you feel, judge yourself for how you react and treat others. You are okay and allowed to feel damaged and traumatized for instance if someone you love doesn’t reply to a text for an hour. That’s totally valid, those emotions are yours, BUT that doesn’t excuse a response of you then going and cheating on said person because you thought they were abandoning you. It’s crucial to separate our emotions and our actions.