Hi, everyone. I've (29 F) been dealing with debilitating anxiety for 15 years now. I've been in therapy on and off, tried all the meds and most of the things that could be helpful. I just don't know what to do anymore.

When I was younger I suppose I had the hope that I would "grow out of it" but now I'm about to turn 30, still living with my parents, working from home but I don't know how much longer I'll be able to get away with that. Everyone in my life has left me, except for family and 1 friend. It's been rough to go outside, speak to people, existing is just exhausting at this point.

I went for a drink with my friend today to celebrate her getting her PhD and I got a panic attack while at the bar. I can already feel that she's annoyed at me and I can't blame her. It's horrible to have to deal with someone who just cannot be OK for even one afternoon.

I'm really tired and angry and sad. I don't really see a way out.