I’ve been so hopeful, at times anyway, for the last couple years since I got into Buddhism.  Everything made so much sense, and I felt like I had really found some truth that could lead to healing.  Sadly I think it’s time to admit that despite all my meditating and reading and going to classes, listening to podcasts, and constantly trying to apply mindfulness in daily life, my well being has actually sunk even lower.  I’ve had poor results with medication in the past but, seriously I think my brain is just fundamentally fucked up, and I have no choice but to try some more medications and hope.