My anxiety is so horrible when it comes to my dog it’s ruining me. He’s an anxious little guy too, which is probably because of me being so high strung all the time. A few months back he was having trouble jumping onto furniture just out of the blue since he’s usually such an energetic dog. Mind you, he showed no signs of pain, he let us squeeze and bend his feet and legs, press on his hips, etc yet he still wouldn’t jump. We took him to his usual vet where they examined him and said he had probably just hurt himself somehow and looked fine. Well this didn’t calm me down in the least so we took him to a different vet where they did an xray and prescribed him some meds. I was happy to have the xrays and be able to see with my own eyes that all was well until the vet tells me his spine is curved a bit more than usual. I had asked her if it was something we needed to get fixed and she said it was probably because he was scared to be at the vet/ had hurt his leg. It took a long time for me to calm down about his spine because to us he always looked normal. We got him on the meds for his possible injury and after a while he ended up with blood in his stool and had also vomited. So naturally I freaked out thinking the worst as always. We took him to his first vet (his usual one) and they had checked him out and told me he had stress colitis, more than likely from his previous injury or the meds the other vet had him on. They prescribed him a new set of meds to counter the past ones and soothe his stomach. I fed him a bland diet for a week or longer, slowly mixing in his dog food and he got better. Everything was great, his poop looked great (which I obsessively check almost everytime he goes)

Then he ate cupcakes. Yeah… my boyfriend had bought some mini cupcakes from Walmart for me, and I didn’t even know we had them when we left to run some errands. Came home to see them smashed and eaten in the floor. He ate 6 vanilla ones and 1 chocolate one. Cue the meltdown. 

This was on a Sunday and all vets were closed in my area so I called an emergency vet number and was told he’d be fine since it wasn’t a ton of chocolate and to just keep an eye on him to make sure he isn’t shaking, breathing weird, lethargic. She told me he would probably vomit or have diarrhea but when I asked if he was going to die she said he’d be fine just a little sick from it. That happened on the 8th, and I stayed up the entire night watching him like a hawk as he slept, he never acted strange, never vomited, or had diarrhea. Yesterday was great, his poop was fine, a little soft but I expected it, and he ran around playing all day as usual….then today happened.

I’m writing this at midnight so we’re currently in bed. I had earbuds in, watching youtube when he starts sneezing like crazy. I freak out and he’s just sneezing, his lips start curling up like he got a wiff of pepper or some shit. He leaves the bed so I follow him, I let him outside, he pees, comes back in and he acts fine. 

When I tell you my nerves are absolutely shot…I am an absolute mess right now. I’m going to call his vet in the morning to set up an appointment since he’s due for his regular shots soon and I also want to name off all the shit that’s happened in the past few days…I literally feel like the shittiest dog owner ever. It’s always going through my head, “is he eating the right food?” “Is he happy?” “Is he actually healthy or are the vets missing something?” “How long do I have with him?” Its driving me insane…I hate that he is as anxious as me, I just know it’s my fault and I just don’t know what to do anymore.