17M. This is my last year in my school. I have good grades, I am a good performing student. But I am not socially active with my friends most of the time. I have a couple of close friends, but no best friends. In hard moments I have nobody to refer to. Anyway, I have to decide where to go to a college this year. I live in a 3rd world country and living abroad is my biggest dream. I applied to colleges in US, but haven't received any full tuition. Supporting tuition cost and living cost with comparably low average wage in my country is impossible. I wanted to explore other countries, new culture, new food, new people. But all my hopes are down. I have a lot of bad memories related to my home country, with my family, my friends, my school. I wish I could go to a new place and start a new life there. But I can't. I'm in my young ages. I wouldn't like to spare my life in place I don't like.

Please, give my motivation to live.