Y'ever get so obsessed over someone that it becomes severely unhealthy? I'm not talking like "fangirling" a band or something. More like obsessing over a person, feeling a deep connection, feeling like you understand them, their motives, everything. Reading everything you can find about them. Looking up to them. Wanting to do what they did. Even if it's wrong. Because to you, it feels goddamn right, because they were thinking right, no? You're so blinded you can't see it. Or maybe you realize it at some point, but don't even want to change your mind.

This happened to me once before. Now I think it's happening again.

The first/previous time was... Obsessing over a criminal. I was dragged into true crime community and it was too alluring and twisted. The guy shot up a place, then committed suicide. I guess you can figure out what was going through my, at the time, delusional and psychotic mind.

Now I'm more stable, but I just realized recently that I might be doing the same thing, the one I've been trying so hard to run away from. TCC left me fucking traumatized.

I'm obsessing over a musician that did drugs and committed suicide.

This isn't good.

Am I alone in this?