I recently cut most of my toxic family out of my life, I've been off and on Manic as hell  for 3 weeks. The hypersexuality is killing me but lucky I have PTSD bad enough that being naked around people triggers me.

My friend and her boyfriend broke up and now my mind is going insane. The feelings I was having scared me straight. I was hoping the feelings would die out but that didn't happen. I've been avoiding her around the house because she's my roommate and she knows something ain't right.

All the nice texts she's been sending me about being a good friend and supporting me in this hard time. She's been calling and I left her on read. I probably consider her my closest friend. I never told her that because I always respect my friends relationships and thought it wrong to bring it up.

At 35 years of age she's the first person I've ever loved, I thought maybe I was making it up or just living in a fantasy. Nope, we've lived together almost 3 years. This shit is way real. Thinking back I wasn't a pervert or anything but I overshared shit about myself and that was too intimate and a huge mistake. 

I fucked up somehow and I can never tell the Woman I love that she's my world right now. She's fragile and telling her would do nothing but hurt everyone. I guess it just hurts because I got to take this shit to the grave. Thanks for listening everyone. Shits hard this month.