my man had a talk with me today and said  “i’m so glad u understand that sometimes i gotta work a lot and can’t see you for days straight” 

like if only u knew i wasn’t okay with it &amp; i’m just pretending that i’m not absolutely insane with horrible abandonment issues,  and that everytime we got more than a couple days without seeing eachother i’m preparing myself for when you hypothetically break up with me. 

i need healing. 

we can go a week and he’s completely fine. while i’m crying myself to sleep every night wondering if he’s with someone else. sometimes i wonder if being single is easier than all of this.