Even as someone in recovery for BPD, I'm really struggling with how to handle my SO with BPD. 

I know there are extremes and it's hard swinging between those highs and lows of everything. I am guilty of anytime someone saying I did something wrong, either projecting it onto someone else, or projecting it inward and taking it out on myself. 

It's becoming increasingly hard to tiptoe around the landmine of this. Everything seems to be explosive and I just want to help address it so it's a bit more calm. 

Any info/advice on communicating with someone when they are like this? What helps? What didn't help?