background context for me I have childhood trauma surrounding my mom she is the cause of my disorder i believe. started developing symptoms at a pretty young age. around 12-13 was when i started getting symptoms for bpd that’s when i started with my identity issues and i would find someone i thought was cool and basically copy their entire persona etc etc to an extreme extent that doesn’t really matter though. when i was 15 i was a freshman in high school i had a crush on this guy and i would try and look similar to his girlfriend to appeal to him (sorry i’m throwing in irrelevant info) anyways throughout the year i was getting more and more stressed out from this guy because he was playing games and at that point i became completely and utterly obsessed with him sometimes i think i fell in love but he would spend all his time with me and then ghost me every few weeks it was a cycle and i feel like this situation with him triggered all the rest of my symptoms to come out and very intensely by the end of the year i had lost my closest friends and everyone i cared about basically because of my actions so what i’m wondering for other people how did y’alls fully develop mine was slow and steady in the beginning then basically got forced out of me i wanna know how it came to be for other people if that makes sense