Did you fight back or submit to your abusive parent?

I hate that my brother submits to my abusive parents instead of fighting back. My brother and I handled the narcissistic abuse differently which is a big reason I was the scapegoat and he was a golden child. I fought back and stood up for myself and others and rejected my mom—which made me subjected to her horrific abuse. He became submissive, agreeable, and sided with her and became the flying monkey. Because he never practiced asserting himself and setting boundaries, my brother had a lot of relationships with abusive people where he never stood up for himself and sometimes I would have to stick up for him when others bullied him. I also had this issue but with me, I often would reach a breaking point sooner in the relationship and would blow up at the person and end the relationship (borderline traits).

I know we both suffered from abuse but I find his way of dealing with it to be infuriating. I know my brother was hurting, too, and was manipulated so I do think he saw me as the bad one for probably most of his life (I fought back at my mom and bullied my brother as a child as I was a hurting child hurting  others). However, as we got older, I realized my bro had incredible incite and I also know he knew I was being abused to a certain extent but Instead of helping, he ran away from the family and victim blamed and scapegoated me because it made his life easier as it was easier to see me as bad than his mom and dad.

Last year, we had a family therapy session and he acknowledged I was right about the sexual abuse my dad put me through. He tried supporting me for one year but then cowardly/passively decided he wanted to be neutral again and support my parents again. He said, “what happened to you is your story.. but mom and dad gave me a good childhood.” Sounds like he is in denial. The Last time I talked to him, he said “mom and dad did the best they could. And I don’t like it when you talk bad about them.”

I find it to be so cowardly and passive to not to stand up for what he believes in/what is right at the age of 28. And yes, also this behaviors shows how much the abuse had broken him down that he fears the consequences of going against the grain. Any incite any of you can provide so I can better understand by brother to forgive him?

Did you fight back or submit to your abusive parent?

Do you think one is more courageous than the other? And why?