
Im in need of advise, closure and clarity. 
I’ve always been a hypochondriac, whenever I find something that looks off on my body or I feel something weird I freak out and look it up and than freak out more at the possibilities, which adds an insane amount of anxiety. I’ve always mainly been afraid of chronic illness. My grandmother recently passed away from colon cancer and I worry that I may be headed down a similar path. I’ve been addicted to nicotine on and off since I was 16 maybe even 15 I can’t remember. I’m 18 now and I’m worried about lung cancer. Sometimes I’ll get a sharp pain down the right side of my back a few inches away from my spine and it’s really quick, it freaks me out. I’m terrified of finding out something terrible might happen to me. I have serious trouble sleeping because I’m afraid I might not wake up. I’ve been around death and physical illness a lot in my life and I worry about it happening to me. It’s planted a seed of worry in my mind and it keeps getting worse and worse, the anxiety is becoming to much. I really want to go to a doctor to get a physical or something like that but I won’t know where to start. I’m also afraid of mentioning that I vape because I don’t want any problems with insurance. I’m quitting as of writing this and I hope I haven’t done to much damage. I starting vaping nicotine just to try it and eventually starting doing it to try to relieve my anxiety and depression. Over time it just became worse and worse. I know this isn’t much to go off of and there’s a lot more I could go on about but i would really appreciate some opinions on this and hopefully some closure ..