I have been struggling with depression and anxiety for about 15 years. I was able to ween myself off of meds nearly 6 years ago after starting a serious relationship and started feeling like myself again. 

Lately, my relationship has been sprialing due to some things surfacing on his side and I'm still unsure of how I feel about it and him. I'm not sure if I still love him or if I'm still with him because I'm afraid to be alone. 

He's lied repeatedly about some serious things that I only found out about last year and I find myself struggling to trust him. 

In spite of my mental state declining at that point, I made a decision to open a store. My boyfriend has been extremely supportive, but from a distance. I've been running the store 7 days a week, 10 hours a day for 9 months now. So my stress levels are through the roof. 
My family backed me on my store and I can't get my store remotely close enough to breaking even and I have fallen behind on bills and I feel awful because my step-dad was recently diagnosed with bladder cancer and I can't pay them back yet and I've been putting double the pressure on myself.
I barely have money to feed myself and have been losing weight as a result. 
I just feel horrible. I'm angry, sad, anxious and unsure what to do.

I fear I've hit a dead end and can't get back up. I hardly get any sleep because I stay up thinking about what I can do to get a control over the situations. 
I breakdown everyday now. I've tried to reach out to my mom but she gets mad because thinks I'm getting upset with her when I'm just upset and want to talk to someone because everyone is always too busy and I'm stuck in a store by myself all day, everyday. I can't help that I'm upset or angry. But I'm not angry with anyone but myself, and my mom just calls me a b***h which only makes me feel worse. 

My thoughts are getting darker and darker and I can't talk to anyone because they don't want to deal with it or they're too busy for me. 

I'm just at a loss and don't know what to do anymore.