Anything to fill the crushing empty ass void. I’m at the point where I feel very good about how I’ve treated myself physically. Great fitness, sleep, and diet. No poor choices and I’ve get myself a very decent baseline. But as I remember, a common pitfall is for me to feel adequate and then to be left with the shreds of my past - which is no one. So, I really am at ground 0 and then I fall back into the old tricks.

Now I’ve stayed baseline for way longer, I feel the crushing loneliness, but I’m not giving In to the self loathing and self harm type behavior. Not giving in.

All I want is a companion, someone to share with. So maybe a mock would be fun. 26 M I don’t think I’m ugly but then I feel completely ugly and worthless and then I think I’m worthy of self love and then I’m reminded of the all the lack of love. The merry go round from hell. 

I guess, I actually think I’m worth something, I wish someone else would think so too