Sorry for the really long text, I feel as if though I do not give enough context, I cannot get a neutral view over the situation and my reaction.

So first of all, usually my boyfriend is pretty amazing at handling my BPD, he is patient and understanding but also human, so sometimes he gets very angry as well and always feels as if I am accusing him of something, even when I am not.

Secondly, I have been having painful cramps for years, up to the point of him getting me to the ER because I was falling apart. They may have figured out what has been the problem (endometriosis for those interested), but it can only be diagnosed and fixed by surgery. So I am scheduled for surgery in 11 days, and the day before I have to go in to get tested for COVID, and if I am sick the surgery will be postponed. However, I (a Belgian) start a job in the Netherlands on the 1st of November, meaning I lose my health insurance here (the surgery is not fully covered in NL, and the doctors are more of the perspective of pumping patients full of hormones instead of operating), so I really really REALLY cannot get COVID or I have a serious problem. I know seeing my boyfriend is a risk, because he still has to go to work and lives with friends, but at work they wear masks and his friends are being cautious, so I believed the comfort he could give me in the days leading up to such a stressful event would be worth the risk. I told him I did not want him to increase that risk tho, and to therefore not meet up with friends (as he still has a lot of social contacts at home and work), and he agreed.

Flash forward to today, when he asks whether he can go for a walk with a friend, mask on and distanced. This was however the situation we agreed on, even with the precautions, that would needlessly increase the risk. To add to this, the friend has been in unsafe contact with over 20 people over the last few days (and thats only those she featured on her IG story). He kept trying to persuade me after I told him several times I was not okay with this, said he just agreed before because I seemed panicky, and when I said this was even worse than meeting any other friend as she was not being safe at all. His reaction to this, as any serious response would mean agreeing with me, was to be glib and sarcastic. Overall, it felt like he was being a child that was throwing a tantrum because he did not get what he wanted.

I am extremely hurt, because his actions could potentially lead to me being in pain for a much longer time than necessary. I know the potential would be small in this situation, but I find it very dissapointing and despairing that he would consider doing something that even increased this risk at all. Especially for a 30 min walk and conversation that could be had on the phone.

I am trying not to spiral and devaluate our entire relationship, but I also believe I deserve to be my partner's priority, not an aftertaught. I am seriously reconsidering this relationship, however stable it has been (and kept me) over the last 1.5 years. I have send him a message that his actions hurt and as they have happened before, could lead to him losing me. Am I overreacting? (he has not responded for a while due to a migraine, so I do not know how he feels or will react)

TLDR: It is pertinent for me to have surgery, otherwise I will be in pain longer. My boyfriend wanted to increase my risk (ever so slightly, but still increase it) of having the surgery canceled to see a friend. He broke a promise and reacted in a hurt way, and now I am doubting my future with him. Am I overreacting?