Hi - I wanted to see if anyone else on has experienced a realization in adult life that they can have an internal monologue and private decision-making? If so, how did this affect your mental health?

I (28m) have been seeing a therapist for anxiety for about 3 months. In the course of this experience, I've realized that I have been in "operational" mode in my mind for most of my life. I think in images, but mostly it feels very quiet inside my brain. This realization occurred while discussing values with my therapist - I realized I had never really internally thought through different values, or generally any topic.

When reading, I don't "hear" the words inside my head. I have always felt like I have been learning into subjects, rather than being an expert on anything. I've done well in school and work generally, but have recently struggled with a job that requires more internal strategy thinking.

Seemingly related, by not having an internal monologue I feel that my memory and association of different ideas isn't as sharp as my friends and colleagues. I am witty in the moment, but rarely draw on past knowledge to chime in on a subject or topic. I've always felt a bit different in a large social grouping.

TL:DR - has anyone else discovered an internal voice and then feel they have been missing out on something important to function?