I always end my day feeling alone.  Here I am, wife laying next to me and yet alone and beat down mentally. I always thought it was a Scorpio thing to be real and speak my mind, especially when I'm hurt,. However its Like my voice don't matter, I don't matter. My wife  is with me because I am convenient. A. Built in do boy.  Everytime I try to say how I feel it's stop bitching, shut up. Family don't understand why I'm always depressed and feeling like nobody cares.  I don't know, I'm rambling.  Thoughts of depression, loneliness, anxiety and a feeling of Not being good enough for anybody is getting old.  36 years dealing with this and I'm even on effexor and ability and nothing works. I have no friends, I don't trust anybody they all try and sleep with my wife or use me.  Even if I did, the constant negative energy I bring I just push them away anyway.  Thanks for the vent