So this has been happening ever since I started doing presentations in grade 4. I remember the first time I ever gave a speech it was about teaching the class about something and I chose fishing because I wanted to brag about a fish I caught. That wasn't even the peak of my self-centeredness. 

Anyways. I remember it wasn't that bad the first time. My face probably just got really red. But the second time we had to talk about this story we wrote off of a descriptive sentence and I did just that. But when I went up to read it, I just started crying. I don't even know why. The worst part was my teacher told me to calm down and keep on going. So I went through it mostly crying and choking on my words but I finished eventually. Everyone clapped for me and that totally made me feel better about it. 

It's been happening ever since. I hate doing them. I absolutely despise them. I care way too much about what people think to the point that it's debilitating. Just recently I was in socials and we had to do presentations but my teacher said she would do presentations for the people that didn't want to do them as long as they provided a script. So I made a script and I was perfectly fine with the arrangement but when she was presenting for me, *I was still getting anxious.* Just saying this, but I've never been diagnosed officially or something. I really hope I'm not being dramatic because I'm scared of undermining the actual struggles people go through. 

Anyways, during the presentation, I could feel my face getting red, I kept having to take deep breaths, and even right now I'm getting anxious thinking about it again. 

I want to know how people have dealt with this. It's been like this forever and I don't think it's going to fix itself anytime soon.