I can’t do it. As much as I would love to speak my mind and back up what I think is right I’ll just shut down. I’ll freeze up, can’t think straight, my heart will feel like it’s about to pound out of my chest, my voice will waver, my mind will race and I’ll end up forgetting all my points and arguments. I’ll just completely shut down and end up looking stupid. It’s not the same when I’m alone with my thoughts, I think so clearly and thoroughly about everything. Over text, Reddit, or social media it’s a lot easier as there is no one in front of me and I can take time to think through what I’m saying but I’ll still get hella nervous and my heart will begin to race. I hate my anxiety, I hate how my mind works. All I want is to clearly, calmly, and confidently speak my mind but it’s me myself that is keeping that from happening. It’s like an infinite paradox and I feel like it hasn’t changed at all and never will.