I’m trying to being alright while inside crying in the dark and hope that i can just disappear. I pretend that i’m strong because my husband is already in depressive mode. He have it for a while already. Mixed with his light autism, became one true nightmare that i hoped i will never have to experience it. My dream to build a normal family is gone. We just brought a house but now i work alone. He wants only be on bed. With all helps he said it not help him. I lost hope and i feel so tired. I just want to close my eyes and not wake up again.