I don't know what to even flair this. I guess I'd love advice if anyone knows how to handle this, or support or just talking about it occasionally on the internet  


I have this sense of impending doom and gloom with me frequently and it only gets worse if I sense any small danger. I could have specific triggers but I'm unsure of that, I haven't identified them fully. It's really bizarre because I feel as if I have anxiety over success and happiness. I always feel like it's gonna be taken away from me and that makes me not bother for it  


I remember when I was gonna go watch a movie with a friend and I was hyped for it but shortly after I just became very anxious for some reason. Another time I bought something for myself and I was really happy but then again a bit later I became afraid. It looks like I'm scared of just. everything. including happiness and peace of mind, because I have an internal fear that maybe it wasn't even meant for me :( ironically, this is what won't let me be to an extent. I can't study or improve like this