And alone/depressed. To begin with, I suffer from severe OCD and am close to being hospitalized for it. I can’t eat right, leave my house very much, take care of myself, take care of my health, am trapped by serve compulsions I can’t control and am even starting to believe irrational delusions sometimes. I’m also in a very stressful job. I’m working on trying to find a new career, but with how I am, it’s very hard. I want to get help, but I come from an economically challenging background and have to take care of myself financially now that I’m an adult. I’ve been battling these demons for awhile, but some recent challenges with other adults caused me to completely fall apart. For starters, my parent I lived with ran out of money. During my initial graduation and search for a full time job, I had to work part time while looking. I also ended up taking the highest paying position I could get which lead me to a very stressful career. Then we had to take care of my parents parent. This involved moving her in, rearranging our tiny apartment, having dirty furniture packed to the gills, having a dirty walker in the house and an elderly individual who would go into dementia related panic attacks. This elderly individual also couldn’t keep themselves clean and would do gross things without thinking twice. Such as blowing their nose infront if people and touching other people’s food and silverware. This caused my OCD to explode, my safe place was flipped upside down. This elderly person is now in a home getting the care that my parent thought they could provide, but in reality could not. As I continued the pandemic came and I was forced to work at home. My actual parent has mental problems too and is on medication for their anxiety. This parent would not tolerate how bad I am with my OCD and would also take out their anger and fear of the pandemic on me. At the same time too, my stressful job that I couldn’t leave continued to get harder as we went remote and lost people. At this point, my parents gotten better now that she is back on her medicine(she used to go off it all the time and had severe aggression attacks), but I am a complete wreck. I don’t know if I’ll have the strength to get a new job now(I have to find new work soon), or be able to move out and take care of myself. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me.

TLDR: I’m burnt out and am mentally destroyed. I’m afraid I can’t take care of myself anymore and I don’t know what will happen next.