So today I was at the doctors office already dealing with multiple sources of stress. I had been waiting for 45 mins, I was in a lot of pain (I have RA), and just general stress as I am moving in two months. My boyfriend texted me to ask if I knew when I’d need him to make the road trip from Orlando to Albuquerque with me (when I move) because his nephew’s birthday was in mid September. And that was it, I just had a meltdown. Not too bad outwardly but I mentally started freaking. In my mind it meant that he wasn’t going to be able to help me move and help me drive across the country and I was going to have to do the whole thing on my own. And I got super upset and explained to him what I was feeling and immediately realized I was just having an abandonment/anger moment. He was so supportive. I’m lucky in that regard. But I had to sit there and monitor my breathing for a bit bc I felt like hysterically crying and I couldn’t control my emotions. I didn’t want the doctor to walk in and see that mess. 

tl;dr I had a BPD switchy freakout moment today and realized exactly what it was as it was happening. Pretty proud of that.