I’m about to become a mother, later on in the year or early next year - however I still self harm. I will not say anywhere near occasionally but regardless I still do it when stress builds on top of me. I.e. the last 2 days once coming out of work and beginning to drive I’m already crying as I feel so stressed. Today I’ve come back into my home and showered, watched the rest of a show I liked but I was still crying so decided to SH and it’s basically moved the pain to physical. The ideal is to most definitely stop and I need to add I have a therapist, a psychiatrist, I am under a perinatal team and I have a social worker all there to support my mental health and track progress. 

I firstly want to know, do mother’s even do that stuff? There’s never really been talk on it if I’m honest and I don’t want to be told it happens to validate me to continue, but more rather erase my shame in it, because I am open about my MH to these professionals but do not disclose my sporadic self harm to them. 

Secondly, how do you stop the biggest urge? Like I said, I do not do this frequently and can go months without doing so - but once stress has mounded enough I will resort to it. 

I will add I’m a FTM, 22 &amp; diagnosed with depression, anxiety &amp; BPD. They are also toying with other disorders. 

Please don’t judge me and thank your if you read and reply