i’ve been depressed for about a year, but i still had the motivation to do some things.

i used to have the motivation to talk to my friends, even though i couldn’t hold a conversation for long because i got tired easily. i used to be passionate about characters i made and their relationships in which i would talk and think about constantly. 

but all of a sudden last month, my mind became blocked / empty for some reason and it made me feel even worse. this blockage / emptiness caused me to pretty much completely lose motivation in talking to my friends. it also made me lose passion for my characters and the relationships that i was so fixated on and constantly thought about for 3 years. i started crying because they mean so much to me and i couldn’t believe that i suddenly lost my passion overnight.

this blockage lasted for about a week; it went away after i had gone out with my friends to watch the new sonic movie. i assumed that my mind was blocked because i just needed to go outside and be around people 

my passion and motivation returned, but i noticed that they were more subtle / wasn’t as strong compared to before the mental blockage happened.

this only lasted a week, as my mind suddenly returned to feeling blocked / empty. i tried going outside yesterday (the last time i’d gone outside was 3 weeks ago when i went to the movies with my friends) and this time i was outside for the whole day. i thought going outside would cure my mental blockage, but it did not.

i don’t have the motivation to talk / listen to people anymore. i barely have passion. i don’t feel positive emotions anymore. i can only feel sadness and anger.

my mind feels so cold and blocked. i cant think clearly anymore. every time i try to talk, i feel like i’m not speaking from my heart.

i want my mental blockage to disappear and to get my passion &amp; motivation back, but i don’t know how to do that. i’m scared, and i feel helpless.