She was my friend and my FP for 8 years. She was out there seeing other people though, but I felt like this friendship was something. Something that would grow to be amazing, like rainbows... Or flowers or something. We would hold hands when we were out, sometimes even kiss, and that was the part that confused me the most. I confessed my feelings twice maybe, but she said that I wasn't what she really wanted. 

A month ago she broke up with her boyfriend and told me she was seeing someone, and suddenly it all clicked to me, I felt like a fucking idiot wasting my life away always hoping that something would change when in reality, it won't. 

I texted her the next day and told her we shouldn't be friends anymore, and I also told her to stop texting me. Didn't even hear what she had to say, just blocked her everywhere. 

Well now I sort of regret, I keep having these very vivid dreams of her, and I wake up hurting. I miss her so much. I still have her phone number at the back of my head, but I wish she would text me first. Fuck. It fucking hurts to be in this situation.