Hey Guys,

it all started with a massive Fear of Death because i came unfortunately in a bad situation.

I visited a friend with another friend thats a cop, but we were just there to visit a friend.

Than another Guy came in and we all know that this guy is dealing with maybe cocaine and other stuff and he is always very weird. If he is with you in a room you feel some coldness because i think he can be dangerous…we recognized that this was for all a bad situation. i think he feeled like we are spy him or something like that. i get very anxious in this moment and after that he wanted to talk with me and i thought maybe im done :( however he said he just wanted to talk with me and nothing happens…till then i started to get fear in the night that im gonna get killed….it was like i was catastrophical and every night was horror….than another event happened and another…than the ukrainian war began and i freaked out that we all gonna die in a nuclear war….

my whole life crashed and i started crying everyday when i wake up because i have so much fear for everything…i also have depression since then and im always very agitated and crying all day over the same things…every person looks evil now for me and i am completely isolated….i just have my girlfriend and im feeling like paralyzed saying all day : its over, i cant any longer, its so heavy, help help help….i cant concentrate any longer and i feel like the world is living without me…really numb and have a bad headache…i cant describe it…it feels like my eyes are paralyzed…and when i go to supermarket it is hell for me….im just heavy anxious, jittery and think all persons are evil…i want to cry in the supermarkt.

What are you think about that? i thought i have just a major depression…but this is another level :( im also suicidal because i cant take this pain :( 

When i take a ativan, the heavy anxiety leaves and im able to talk. but there is still this feeling like world is not real and the depression symptoms still there. but the crying and the permanently repeating of how bad everything is stops.

what do you think :( ?