By all rational standards I should be happy. I’m middle aged, married and have a good job paying well above average wage. We paid our mortgage off years ago and have almost £1m in savings and pension pot. 

As a young man I had a time when I was broke. Literally. No job, no money, relied on benefits and food bank. Everything I have now I’ve worked for and saved for. 

I constantly think about inflation, poor investments, poor stock market choices. If not that, then I worry about losing money to fraud or theft. My partner will soon retire which is a big drop in income. I worry we’ve made a mistake in that decision to retire even though the job is intolerable. I’m forever penny pinching and getting anxious about spending money so that we can save more. Always saving more. 

I can’t stop worrying about money and the future. It’s constant and it’s been getting worse for the last few years. I’ve tried to talk to family and friends but they just tell me I’m being silly and not to worry. That doesn’t help. 

I don’t know how to turn this switch off and just enjoy my life. I tried to talk to a doctor once but I have a little bit of understanding about how mental health support works in the UK and I can’t face the stress of trying to get professional help. 

I’m not expecting any answers. I just wanted to use this as a space to share. Maybe even just writing it down will help. 

Thanks for reading.