Hi, I decided to write because I can't do it anymore :(. I'm hurting myself and I feel like dying.
I am in the medical residence and my boss is very strict with us, he decided in December that for the final exam we had to review hundreds of clinical cases and present them online, so after I got home I had to connect to zoom and I couldn't being with my son (I left him watching television with a sandwich)

My son is 5 years old, I feel so much guilt and anger for not being able to be with himn the few hours we have together, the last 2 months I stopped sleeping and eating because of this, I feel very weak and sick and sometimes I feel like dying. My boss changes the rules of the game every week and we don't know what our final exam will be like, I'm very afraid of failing because I can't think or study like I used to, I feel terrible. There are days when I can't progress with the study, there is 1 month left for the exam and I don't know what to do.
My boss is very abusive, sometimes he threatens us or tells us that we don't know anything. I feel like trash, no one wants to talk about this because we fear retaliation which is common in the residence. I have worked so hard and sacrificed so much time with my son to finish my medical residency to have a better future with my loved son, but I am so afraid of failing or something bad happening, I think I don't deserve it... I have been a fighter all my life , but I am exhausted, I had an abusive and alcoholic father and the father of my son left us for another woman and I have been able to be strong, but now I have no strength left and I don't want to continue.
Please help me and my little son
I dont want to be like this anymore