All the courses on Edx, Coursera, and others that I didn't do an hour of work for because I couldn't drag myself out of bed. All the content I paid for that I never took more than five minutes to try and study (no, I'm not lazy, it's executive dysfunction). All the [x] studies I didn't participate in because I was so far out of my head that I didn't even notice the phone ringing. I'm tired of being a fucking loser that can only succeed at doing the most menial and basic shit: work just enough to keep a roof over my head; tidy up my living space to something livable; drag my ass to the store to get food. 

I can't even go out for a walk anymore. I can barely finish three pages of a book. I've returned so many unread novels to the library.