Hello everyone

I've been in this group for some time now because since I can remember I had the feeling that something was wrong with me, my emotions and my brain chemistry

I struggle a lot with abandonment issues, black/white thoughts, intense feelings... Among other things 

and I've come to terms that I display basically all of the bdp symptoms without being diagnosed

I know how wrong is to diagnose yourself and i don't want to do that but I was ghosted by 2 different therapists in the past while I was trying to get answers.

 I could write here the whole story and everyone that knows me personally agrees that those 2 therapists were unprofessional 

I've reached a point where I don't even trust therapists anymore but I'm also struggling with my anxious thoughts and the thought that everyone I know will eventually leave me

So what I would like to know is the following:
What skills should a therapist have? I'm aware there's specific modalities and not all professionals are able to help

Which skills should I look when searching for someone?

Thanks in advance