Just got out of a long time in the hospital. Not feeling better. Gotta meet a caseworker in an hour and act fine. Too numb to cry so that's not a problem. Part of me wishes I was back in the nuthouse but that they could help me, part of me just wants to be dead, knows my diagnosis is bleak and would rather be dealer with that, that statistics for my rare form of bipolar are extremely bad,nwish I could just go forward with that than the happy commercial they make us enact. Just screaming into the void. Peace pilgrims.