The was a time when I had friends and was generally content with my life but no more. Either I was too toxic for people or they where too toxic for me. I wear my emotions on my sleeve and they are always vast and heavy. I found opiates erased it all that was 7 years ago. Through all my episodes and bullshit everyone is now gone. The drugs don't even get me high anymore. I've gotten sober, relapsed, overdosed, rinse, and repeat. I have acquired 2 felonies simply for almost dying. By some miracle I've had a decent job for the last year and I actually like my work but my coworkers make it hell. I'm stuck in shitty studio apartment, surrounded by neighbors that are a worse waste of life than me even. There was hope of moving into a newly built place but after a month long application process and signing a conditional lease it looks like the landlord is going to back out of the deal. I've been homeless before and I swore I would never let it happen again but come August it looks like I'm back on the streets at 33. That is if I make it that long, I get paid Friday and I think I'll buy a few grams of heroin and see how much I can shoot at once. I'm thinking I can cook up at least a gram before it becomes impossible to draw into the syringe. I wish I had someone to tell this to besides fucking reddit.