I hate being so negative to myself 
But I feel so ugly. 
Like really fucking disgusting. 
I’ve spent hundreds of $ on skin care and meds and I can’t get my hormones under control so I’m constantly breaking out and it makes me feel disgusting. Not to mention I’m stressed the fuck out, feeling so much pressure to get my certification for teaching or I’ll be out of a job. Then wtf am I gonna do. 
I feel like my boyfriend isn’t gonna wanna be with me anymore. He can find someone prettier than me. He can find someone he doesn’t have mental issues like me. 
But yet he’s with me and doesn’t go anywhere. Even when I act out of line he sticks around and I don’t understand how someone can really love me. I know I’m not ugly but I feel fucking disgusting about myself. 
I’m actually putting clues together and I’m thinking he’s going to pop the question soon. I’m still so scared to get cheated on or lied to and my insecurities about myself just make it 1000x worse... I can’t help it. 

The smallest things make me so insecure. 
I just wish I didn’t feel so shitty about myself and that I was confident.  

Random vent probably sounds stupid but fuck