I (M18) have been dating my best friend and coworker (F19) for around 4 months. She isn’t my typical “type” and I keep overthinking about her looks even though I do find her pretty. It’s gotten so bad that it’s destroying my satisfaction in our relationship, which leads me to checking out other girls and I feel so frustrated with myself and guilty doing that. I’ve created a false perception of her in my mind and I just want to love her for the beautiful person she is. I’m pretty sure I’m sexually attracted to her (I get erections around her), but I’m never really horny towards her like I have been with my previous crushes. Ever since we started dating, I haven’t felt any of those “sparks” or “butterflies” that I’m looking for. I have never opened myself up to anyone as much as her. We have so much in common and she just gets me and is so understanding. She loves and cares about me so much and has made it clear that she will not leave me because of my mental struggles. She thinks I’m the hottest guy alive and says she misses me all the time, which gets me anxious because I can’t say the same about her myself. However, when I’m with her, I’m so attached to her and I never want to leave her. This whole thing is so confusing to me. I should be so happy right now but I’m just not. She means the absolute world to me and every time I think of letting her go I burst into tears. How can I control my thoughts and actually be happy with the girl I love?