I dont know  I just cant explain this feeling. It's a mix of utter hopelessness and exhaustion extreme sadness to the point only being able to laugh and not being able to release a single tear. Thid feeling makes me feel terrible because  it's like i dont deserve to listen to good songs because I'm not attractive enough.  Also does anyone have a little voice in their head that they talk to that tells them horrible stuff about themselves. Ie like really horrible stuff. But deep down you know it isnt real?