I feel like I'm falling down the mountain of mania into the abyss of depression. I'm so fucking low. After weeks of mania, depression has came back and uppercut me. The thoughts inside my head are telling me to end it. That there is no hope. I'm laying on the ground and can't get up, I have no one to help pick me back up. Completely alone in this battle. I called off work today. Probably gonna lose my job at thus rate. I've pushed everyone away because they don't fucking get it. I don't think I can live like this anymore. My mom had bipolar and ended her life in her early 30s right in front of me. Have a feeling I'm going to lose this fight too..