I recently started my first job in ~2 years (because of covid and mental health issues it’s been really difficult to find something). It’s with a pet sitting company and at first I was super excited not just because I was finally able to overcome some of my anxiety in order to get a job but also because it seemed like an ideal gig for me: working with people is a huge trigger for my anxiety plus I love animals so I figured why wouldn’t it be perfect? I also like my manager a lot, she’s super supportive and helpful. Also the clients are really sweet, they leave great feedback and tips which I appreciate a lot. 

However…. since starting the job, i’ve pretty much been in a constant state of anxiety. I wake up super early every morning with an adrenaline rush because I’m scared I overslept and missed a visit. Then I start feeling dread when thinking about everything I have to do that day, especially if there are new houses or difficult animals. I’ve noticed I sweat/have shaky hands constantly and struggle to catch my breath during the visits even when I’ve been there 10+ times. Part of it is because the instructions for each house/animal can be really confusing at times or things aren’t where they’re supposed to be, etc. Or the dogs are really hyper and big so it’s an intense workout every time I visit or walk them. On top of that, my brain is in a constant loop of what if’s: *what if the leash breaks when we’re out walking? What if a dog sneaks under the fence? What if a cat gets out? What if there’s an emergency? What if I accidentally hurt an animal or give the wrong meds or the wrong food? What if we run into an aggressive off leash dog? What if the big dog I’m taking care of snaps and tries to attack me?* (I’ve been snapped at twice so far). I also get a jolt of adrenaline every time I get a text from my boss because *what if something awful happened or I’m in trouble?* I’m a very careful and thorough person but I’m always paranoid of messing up especially since we’re on a tight schedule so we can’t spend too much time at each house (I’ve been struggling with this bc time management is not one of my strengths). I’ve started using my as-needed anxiety meds multiple times a week when I used to only use them once every couple weeks. I cried multiple times today and I’ve been having mini panic attacks almost every visit unless I know exactly what I’m doing. It’s been over a month yet it feels like things are just as stressful as when I first started. 

Anyway, not sure what the point of this post is lol. I guess I just want to know that I’m not an idiot for stressing out so much over a damn pet sitting job :/ and maybe some advice if anyone has any? 🤒 I’m putting in apps for other jobs but idk how I’m gonna survive until then (if I even get an offer). And I’d feel like shit leaving or reducing my hours because we’re a small company so we need all the help we can get. And I’d also miss the animals :(