I'm literally useless, I just try not to collapse and not kill myself, I'm not good at anything, seriously nothing, in fact I'm the worst in anything I do, neither sports nor instruments nor intelligence nor social skills, every day is  a fucking torture I'm afraid of myself and I'm afraid of people and everything, anxiety is killing me, fatigue is killing me, my ed is killing me, being sad I cover it up with anger and hurt people i love,  I just want to be alone, I don't show any affection to anyone no matter how much I want to, I hate my physical appearance my personality every movement I make I hate it I control it and it goes wrong, I want to die but not really, I just want to be fine but I'm afraid of  what i can do to myself

I don't even know why I'm posting this, nothing you tell me will make me feel better, maybe just vent