Tw: general mentions of assault

Hi, thanks for reading. For context I took my ACT today and had a nuclear meltdown the entire time. 10 minutes before the test I had a panic attack and then had 3 separate anxiety attacks throughout the test itself.

It started with a watch issue because I can’t see far away (there were clocks on the wall) but we weren’t aloud to have our own approved watch for whatever reason and then I went down the “not being able to see anything (type of) anxiety” rabbit hole and I spiraled from there. I have had awful days but nothing that left me so vulnerable, in physical distress, and emotionally intense as what happened during this past test. 

It has been 12 hours and I still have a headache, feel nauseous, and have pain in my chest and stomach. Is that normal? Shouldn’t this be gone by now? I’ve ate food, hydrated, taken Tylenol and it still persist.

Thinking back, I’m more shocked than disappointed- I acted completely out of character. I showed my emotional distress in front of teachers/classmates, I literally guessed on entire sections (never a normal for me), and was trapped with test anxiety (also never happens). 

I am genuinely shaken from this and I’m reacting physically and emotionally the same way I did when I was assaulted a few years back. I can’t eat, my stomach just feels wrong, and I’m self isolating. I’m not sure if this is considered “trauma” because this was literally just a test and I should get over it for too many reasons to count. I am struggling to accept the way things happened and that I can’t do anything to change it. 

I can’t emphasize enough how big of a problem this actually was.

Thanks for your thoughts in advance