You’re perpetually worried about little things, maybe your muscles (trapezius muscles, in my case) are incredibly tight – they feel like literal rocks, hearing a police siren gives you a jolt of adrenaline, you’re suddenly scared to go out with friends because you’re unsure if another attack will occur, you’re randomly dizzy, sometimes you feel like a veil hindering your ability to experience the world is placed over everything, when you have an actual attack you have seemingly unwarranted thoughts of suicide, you breakdown crying, people don’t seem familiar anymore, and you’re wondering what the hell is going on and when will it stop. 

That was my experience with anxiety.

If there is one thing I can tell you as someone who went through it, it’s this: it will get better. The biggest reason why you’re afraid right now is because of the uncertainty – you had this anxiety attack, maybe out of nowhere, and you have no clue when it’s going to occur again. The attacks so far seem to be about random things, and you’re afraid. That’s very fair. **This is how I know it will get better**: think about when you tried to learn how to solve a math problem – if you did ten of those math problems, eventually you saw patterns and derived a better understanding of what was going on. You understood what was coming and how to solve it. The same principle applies with anxiety: **The uncertainty of your situation will dissipate as you learn from each anxiety attack.** You’ll be scared shitless the first couple of times and it will be so incredibly painful, but logically you will understand more with each attack and get better. 

Let’s talk about what you can do next. It’s impossible to mitigate or solve anxiety without first having the vocabulary to understand what is going on. So, let’s go over a few terms:

Intrusive thoughts: these are (usually violent) thoughts that pop out of nowhere, and you have no clue where they came from. You can search up examples online.

Catastrophizing thoughts: This is when you have an intrusive thought that spirals out of control. You constantly think in a stream of “what-if’s” – “what if this happens and then what if that happens… etc”. 

Anxiety: it’s very tough to solve anxiety if we don’t know what exactly it is. Unfortunately, the world still isn’t exactly sure why it happens or what it is. It’s unfortunate, I know. We’re learning, which is good, but we’re not 100% sure. Through my experience, I’ve come to create my own definition of anxiety. **I want you to do the same**. Everyone’s anxiety is different, but if you like my definition, use it as a base and build off of it: **Anxiety is when the model of ‘something’ in your world does not match the reality of what that ‘something’ is.** An example: the model of your girlfriend (a loyal girl) does not match the reality of her actions (flirtatious behavior with other guys or outright cheating), and this causes anxiety in your stomach.

Mental health: there are a lot of outdated definitions of mental health, and most (I was one of them) never actually learned what mental health was in school. I think the best one so far comes from a book called **The Self-Healing Mind: An Essential Five-Step Practice for Overcoming Anxiety and Depression, and Revitalizing Your Life.** If you don’t want to read it, I’ll give you a simple breakdown here: mental health is more than just circuits in your brain. To take care of mental health, you have to 1. Exercise, 2. Sleep enough, 3. Practice breathing exercises, 4. Find your own spirituality, and 5. Eat well. I know you might be thinking, “yeah I knew that”, but I want you to look at your life right now. Broadly speaking, are you genuinely exercising everyday, sleeping enough, eating well? **I recommend everyone read the book to understand how to fortify their mental health.**

A Guide:

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1. Collecting Data Points

In my experience, the crux of anxiety lies in catastrophizing thoughts. When you’re having these attacks, it always begins with catastrophizing thoughts. You go down the endless stream of “what-if’s” and suddenly your sympathetic nervous system is in overdrive. Your heart is racing and your fight-or-flight mechanism gets initiated. If you’re new to anxiety, the first few attacks were incredibly scary and you weren’t listening to what the catastrophizing thoughts were. That’s fair. You had no clue what was going on and were in a state of shock. However, when you are ready, something I found useful was **during an anxiety attack listening and jotting down what the catastrophizing thoughts were about**. You would do this after the attack. You would’ve just gone through an attack, and everything would’ve been super scary, so just write it down – nothing more. Do it in your notes app or on a google doc. Then, let it sit for a couple of days. From a pragmatic standpoint, if you want to understand what is going on you need as many data points as possible. **But, you can’t connect the dots and figure anything out without having the dots in the first place.**

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2. Developing Mechanisms to Mitigate Attacks

Going off of the last point, wouldn’t it be great if you could collect the dots – the data points – without going through a full-fledged attack? In order to do this, in my experience catching yourself when you’re having these catastrophizing thoughts and preventing things from escalating into a full-fledged anxiety attack is the solution. It’s a mini-anxiety attack where you can still learn from it but don’t suffer excruciatingly. This isn’t easy to do, but it’s definitely possible. How I accomplished this: breathing techniques. I specifically like using the 4-7-8 breathing method while sitting on a chair to ride out the anxiety attack. You can search up the technique online (I personally learned it from the book highlighted above). As you create more data points, you should try and attempt to connect the dots. Is there a common theme? Why is there a common theme? The answer may come immediately or it may take weeks to fully understand. It may be linked to a past emotional trauma or a current one.

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3. Take Care of Your Mental Health

If your mental health is deteriorating or in shambles, then you will likely get more frequent attacks. I know I sound like an old man, but you have to take care of yourself. If you’re not eating, sleeping, exercising, and pursuing passions or things that are meaningful then you’re not taking care of yourself. Due to work, family, school, or other responsibilities, sometimes it’s difficult to take care of yourself. I get it. It’s easier to go and get fast food nearby. It’s easier to watch some Netflix or YouTube before you go to bed to “relax”, but if you want to protect your physical and mental health, some things need to change. I know it’s not easy to bring yourself to just “eat more or less” or “exercise more”, so be kind to yourself and take it one step at a time. This means actually setting SMART goals and trying to stick to them. **Remember, life is a marathon and you are in this battle against anxiety and protecting your mental health for the long-haul.** Each little step will yield leaps over time.

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Conclusion: 

This was my experience with anxiety and how I’ve tried to overcome it and live with it. If you can afford it, I would recommend getting a therapist to help you out. Two brains is often better than one when it comes to problem solving. Nonetheless, take active measures to protect your mental health and actually stick with them. Take the time to actually think through your current situation – this means sitting down with no distractions (maybe in a park) and just thinking through everything. I highlighted a quick guide above, but you’re eventually going to want to get to the root of your anxiety. What is the “something” that is causing the anxiety in your life? It may take months, but it’s doable. I believe in you. You will be able to get through this. There is light at the end of the tunnel. It will just take time and the understanding of experiences.