Y’all….my anxiety is at it again. 

I reconnected with an old college friend about 2 1/2 months ago when he told me he moved to my city. He was the one who reached out to me initially. Since then, I have been the ones to initiate plans every time, but he always agrees to hang out and is generally available every time I offer up a date and time to get together. 

The last two times we hung out it as at his apartment. We kissed when I was getting ready to leave on one of our get togethers, and then the last time we were together, we full on hooked up (no sex). In between each time we’ve gotten together, we hardly text and I am the one to initiate conversation and make the plans (for context: I had to temporarily move back in with my parents, so I just try to let him know when I am planning to go to the city). 

I recently got out of a long term relationship that I had been wanting to leave for a very long time. I really want to start casually dating, so I am fine with what I have with this guy. The only thing is, my anxiety makes me act like a fucking weirdo. I kept talking when we hooked up, but I was also trying to be communicative and making sure he liked what I was doing and that I was receiving consent from him for everything. I felt very comfortable the whole time, but then afterwards, of course, my anxiety told me I was being a fucking weirdo and now I am nervous he just doesn’t want to see me anymore since we haven’t really spoken since. We’ve made small talk via text, but he takes forever to respond (he did let me know once that he is terrible with texting because he works a lot and receives so many communications throughout the day, so I am trying to ease my mind by remembering that). 

I guess I just need help interpreting this situation?? My most recent messages to him was addressing the fact that he told me he thought he responded to my message and realized he didn’t; to which I responded by telling him that I don’t think he needs to feels bad and that I don’t expect immediate responses from him because constant communication is unhealthy. I did follow up immediately and told him I was happy to hear from him and that was on Monday evening. I know he is in another country this week so he may not be responding because of that but idk. I want to try and find time to hang out again and address what we have going on between us so that I know what expectations to set, but I am very scared of rejection and that he already has his mind made up that he does not want to see me again. Plus, I am also nervous to send him ANOTHER message (even though I would wait another week probably) to ask to hang out. 

If y’all can’t tell, this is my thought process thanks to anxiety brain. If you’ve come this far, thank you!!