I have generalized anxiety disorder. I impulsively quit a part time serving job I had for two years because it was becoming toxic. The last shift I worked was a busy Saturday night and while looking for my manager for help, I found him making out with a customer in the middle of the restaurant. Hopefully that gives you an idea of what I mean by toxic.

My current boyfriend also worked there and my anxiety started when he decided to give his two weeks. He found a much better job where he wasn’t being abused and paid much more. I am happy for him but was super triggered that I was going to be left behind there in that environment. My anxiety kept telling me that they would take him leaving out on me. 

He told me to relax for the summer and to focus on the small business I started last year. Well, I couldn’t just relax. I went straight into survival mode and impulsively found another part time serving job. I did two trainings and don’t know if I even want to work there. I am having decision paralysis, regret leaving the old job and just feel so crazy. I want to go back to the old job so bad. I keep telling myself that I should have taken a month off instead of quitting. I have regret and I forget about the bad things and just miss the people and the money. This manager is also leaving at the end of the month which made me feel even more regret. 

I don’t care about this new place and my anxiety keeps telling me I made a mistake and this new place isn’t for me. Today I decided I was going to quit this new job and then I decided not too, to only do this again 12,000 times in my head. It’s exhausting. I feel like I can’t trust myself and I feel paralyzed. I keep going back and forth and it’s so unhealthy. 

Any advice on dealing with this?