My gf is abroad studying and we have an open-ish agreement.

I've been in denial lately about the amount of shit I'm knee deep in, and well, mostly I feel pretty good about myself.

Specially after getting my hair cut (and liking it, for a change), getting some new, stylish clothes, and losing a few pounds.

Thing is, I don't really feel good about myself, it's just this mania-like feeling I get sometimes. So I don't really want to put myself out there and risk getting rejected; I'm just having really strong urges to just ask my "ex" out, since I'm 80% certain she'll say yes.

That would, obviously (or so I'm told) be a huuuge fuck up.

We've been getting back in touch lately (not really), and I actually like her (which is a prerequisite for me, I can't hook up with people I don't really know - as in online dating - and have feelings for).

So, yeah, I'm probably gonna do this, and she's more likely to say no because I'm obviously delusional, and... If she says yes, I'll probably chicken out.

These seem really petty problems next to some things I've read here recently (and aren't actual problems next to what's going on in my life; I'm in denial), but I just needed to vent with a possibility of someone understanding.

edit: spelling