I have to admit upfront, that I have been venting about my family specifically and neurotypicals in general.  I felt alone.

But with support from this group and others and am heading back in the direction of the "focus needs to be on me".  

1. I needs to focus on being the best me I can.
2. I need to focus on what I can change about myself.
3. I need to take care of myself by choosing supportive people to be around.
4. I need to surround myself who are also working on themselves and not in denial.
5. I can't change other people but I can be a role model (i.e. lead by example).
6. I need to practice accepting others exactly as they are.  No judgement, no trying to change their minds or behavior.
7. I need to love and forgive others for my own peace of mind.
8. I need to pray for God's will for me and the power to carry that out.
9. I need to make God happy not the people around me.

This is a hard and difficult path.  It is lonely, we are usually the ones that have to step back and "be the adult".  But it makes total sense to me, is the only thing that matters, and is what I practice.  One of my favorite quotes/prayers is ...

"God, don't change my circumstance, change me."  Sister Gyanamata