Right, so to begin with I've had health anxiety basically as long as I can remember. All started with my granny being so Ill (she has ancylosing spondylitis, prolific anemia and whole host of other problems) she was in and out of hospital with all sorts of problems primarily her heart and she broke her neck several times, she was in traction for months. My mum was also in and out of hospital for a long time and there has been a lot of death in my family, mostly heart attacks and heart disease.

Recently I've had odd symptoms, lumps and pain etc... And I've essentially convinced myself I've got cancer, it's horrendous I've seen ENT's and got an appointment with GI and been on to the doctor's more times than I can count as this stage. I feel awful for it but it's like I feel desperate like if I don't get this stuff checked I'm going to die... And I'm honestly terrified. Issue is it's literally taken over my life, I don't do anything anymore, all I talk about it's my fears and concerns, my relationships are falling apart and I'm worried if it is what I fear I'm going to be alone to deal with all this. I feel weighed down by everything. I want to note that I have no history of cancer in my family, no one has ever gotten or died from cancer. I mean I don't think I'm being irrational but I can't let this go on.

How do I move on from this? How do I not just move on to the next thing. I'm terrified of cancer but I'm even more terrified of losing those closest to me...