Long story short, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder for five years and after my fourth hospitalization and a bunch of different medications, my doctor finally decided that BPD was a better fit for me than bipolar disorder, to which I agreed. So now I'm in a partial hospitalization program where I'm in therapy six hours a day M-F, and it was great the first week. It was fun socializing with other people and hearing their stories and sharing my stories. But now I'm starting to dislike everybody, like I always do. They aren't doing anything wrong or different, but I'm just starting to dislike them for no reason. And it's always like that for me. I either really love somebody and will do anything and everything for them or I don't care about/dislike them. So now I go to therapy daily, come home and lie in bed until bedtime, take my meds, battle with the idea of self-harming, go to bed, and repeat the next day. That's my life in a nutshell. I don't really know much about BPD other than what I've googled, and I don't really know anybody with it either. All I've been told is that it's much harder to treat than bipolar disorder would've been, so that's wonderful. I'm 23 and have been battling with depression and anxiety since I was 9 while self-harming by the age of 10 and my first suicide attempt at 12. I'm just so tired of the pills and the therapy and the constant emptiness and boredom and lack of pleasure in everything. Does anything ever help?