Throwaway for obvious reasons I spent my childhood in child protective services in foster homes I've never had real family or friends no one's ever considered me there " best friend" I've always been left out of everything about a year ago my girlfriend of 2.5 years broke up with me she was physically and mentally abusive towards me since then I can't even leave the house without totally freaking out I've been isolated I have 0 friends she made me cut all my old friends off and I don't know how to make new ones i slipped into psychosis and now I can't stop abusing alcohol i can't find a reason to keep going I know posting something like this makes me a fucking cry baby but I guess I just want a friend anyone to talk to because I don't know why really I'm at the lowest of lows I don't even know what to write and post but I want to post something I guess I'm pretty drunk rn so idk what I'm doing ig but idk