So I’m coming to terms with my recent diagnosis and it feels like I’m getting life situations to highlight and reinforce in technicolor that I am in fact BPD.

A few days ago I took a piece of art work that I did into a picture framing store. I can only do art when I’m in a good spot and I have produced 4 pieces in the last couple of years. The piece I’m talking about today was the first time I picked up a pen and did something creative since I was a child. I was so proud that this talent came out of my hands! I colored it with watercolor pens and left it in a notebook for 2 years. I had in my mind to frame it and there’s a perfect spot for it on the wall. I didn’t get round to it though until last week. So I take the picture into the framers and we size it up and choose the frame and mounting card colours etc. Today I happily went to the store to collect it. I saw it standing up behind the counter and said to man

Me - “why have you put it in backwards?”
The man -  “I haven’t”
Me - “this is the back of the drawing where the pen colours have bled through the paper” 
The man - he went as white as a sheet and said “no, really?” 
Me - “it’s the back of the drawing”
The man -  “I can’t change it, I glued another sheet of paper to it to reinforce it” 
Me -  “you’re joking”
The man - “no”
Me - “seriously?”
The man - “yes”
Me - “this is the first piece of art I’ve done in 30 years (I don’t know where 30 years came from, probably closer to 20 years) It was very special to me”
The man - “sorry, we can’t fix it”

So I asked for a knife and we tried to carefully slide it to separate the drawing from the paper but it was tearing. I called my partner over who was looking after the kids in the back of the store. He tried to talk to him as well and figure it out, but basically we agreed it was ruined and not salvageable. I get so mad, red hot fury starts boiling inside me. So the hot tears come flooding and I’m crying. I kept pacing and muttering under my breath not knowing what to do with myself. I realize I’m going to blow up and shout, so I storm out of the shop slamming the door behind me and marching off home. The children come out of the shop running after me confused about why mummy is upset and running away. My partner is chasing after me saying stop and he’s angry with me for upsetting the kids. I’m a mess and it takes hours for me to calm down. 

What the fuck??? Is this normal, or BPD behavior, or overreacting, or what??? I’m confused and upset. 

Thank you for reading