i’m 15F and during my last manic episode i became hypersexual and was planning on sending nudes to older men and the reason why i chose older men was because i had “rape fantasies” and i imagined older men doing it to me, the thing is that i feel so disgusting and guilty is because most of my female cousins got SA including my sister- so idk why i keep on having them.. i don’t think i was touched as a child- why am i thinking this way??