Hey r/BPD

So I have BPD. Yet again a diagnosis and life sentence of maintenance and improvement. Lately and actually for most of my life, I am a people pleaser. I try to put others before myself and prioritize them over my own needs, noticeability since having to in childhood. Keeping the peace with everyone and keeping stable is the only thing to please others right? 

I have become somewhat of a 'counsellor' to those around me. I don't mind talking to people about their issues and concerns in life, because it is something I want to do as a career, however, when it is every day, it's a problem. I, myself have been struggling lately, but due to constant invalidation and burdening others with my issues, I tend to deal with it on my own. I have not been under any mental health services for almost three months and have just been left in the dark. I feel when I talk about my issues they just seem like they get toned down, like they are nothing major, or told to just 'think about something else.' Then when I show emotions, I am the bad person or the problem. From this people see me as this supportive, yet emotional dump they can use. 

Anyways, rant over. Over the last week, I have had to deal with one of my friends talking about their ex for several days at a time, when advice is given it is just ignored. People have a right to ignore advice, but then what is the point of talking about it? It is just constantly negative. One other friend, quite frequently, I have to talk out of taking their own life. They do suffer from mental health issues and I want to help, but I have traded in my own mental health for theirs. 

I am really bad at setting boundaries, due to them never being told to me other than within a school/authority/job environment. I struggle to be assertive and get my feelings across due to fears of them taking it the wrong way or falling out with me or even so confirming I am in fact a bad person. I am basically stuck at a crossroads and just want to hide away in my room to avoid the conversations. 

Why do we have to people please, it's getting exhausting now.