So I’m at a job I hate, but I can’t quit because it allows me to transfer and my gf and I are moving in fall time. I’m in a weird situation with my gf that’s hard to explain. I feel like a total loser who just doesn’t know what they are doing anymore. The pandemic fucked my entire career in the ass and now I have to figure out what to do again. And today I just don’t want to go to work. I just want to lie to my gf and say I am going to work but I actually just wanna drive out to the middle of the forest and off myself. And I’m just so conflicted. Also going to work Is hard because it’s a labor job and lately I’ve been having mental breakdowns daily at work. Hyperventilating and trying to do physical labor is HARD. 
I don’t want to lie to my gf. But she has been worried about me a lot lately, financially. And I think it’s because I don’t work as much as I used to. 
I also as much as I want to die, I also don’t want to die.   But I know that Suicide on or off the table, I still don’t want to go to work. 
 I feel like I’m trying to think of any excuse in the book to not go to work. 
Should I just quit???? 
Should I tell my boss ive been having a mental breakdown all weekend and don’t want to come in???