I don't even know how to start this post. I'm just writing the first thing that comes to mind tbh. I'm really exhausted, mentally and physically. I'm not diagnosed nor am I one to self diagnose but I know there's something wrong with me. So much has gone wrong in just the past two years. My family is broke, we're barely scraping by, my little brother who's only 11 has had to use his own money to buy his own food. We might need to move out of our house and into a smaller one. My parents are trapped in a hateful, loveless marriage because our culture basically condemns divorce. I've stuggled with my mental health since middle school, but it was always temporary. Now it's endless, it's everyday, I get no relief. My sister has awful health anxiety and has been to the doctors multiple times over just the past couple of months. The money that my dad spends on this is insane, but he loves us and hates to see my sister struggling the way that she is so he doesn't say no. My parents don't know this, nor does anyone else, but I'm struggling with health anxiety myself. I get panic attacks, I stay up till morning. I don't want to tell my parents. We're struggling enough, I don't want to be another burden on them. I'm crying just writing this. I've been contemplating ending it all, but I could never do that to my family. On top of how it would make them feel, they'd also have to deal with hospital bills and funeral costs and I can't leave them having to worry about all of that stuff. I'm just thinking about it logically. Frankly me killing myself would be a dick move. I just don't know what to do anymore.