It’s my 27th birthday in a couple of days and I cannot help but feeling sad and anxious about it. My friends, bf and family are looking forward to celebrating, but despite that I kind of feel even more lonely than usual. It feels attention-drawing and I’m afraid of boring people to death if I throw a party (even though it would be a really small gathering). 

When I was a child I was constantly crying and hiding under the table every time people sang the happy birthday song during  my birthday (which, of course, occurred every time). 

What can I do to take it easier? Why do people feel even more lonely during social events?