Well we were talking about political stuff because the last few days we touched on a few subjects and I handled it well (I usually avoid political discussions because I get too easily caught up in black and white thinking), and then today we were talking and he was saying stuff that really showed we shared the same values and I was so proud of him, and that kinda triggered the first part of the split... I put my bf on a pedestal and saw him with rose tinted glasses, and he could do no wrong. Big mistake.

I got overexcited and started getting *intense* about my views, and then my bf picked up on my intensity and got a bit annoyed because I was trying to make him agree 100% with me. And then he rolled his goddamn eyes at me and I absolutely flipped. I was like, 'How can you be so fucking rude and disrespectful!!! We need to break up, you aren't who I thought you were!!!' and so on. I'm so ashamed because I just lacked so much self awareness; I was whacking the kitchen bench and yelling and throwing shit and crying out of just pure rage because he was suddenly so **bad**. 

Spent the morning figuring out *why* I fell so hard on my arse over a tiny eye roll. And I've concluded it's because literally seconds before I thought the sun shone out of his bum. So when he rolled his eyes it felt like such a betrayal, like how can someone so amazing be so mean to me? In that moment my brain said, 'It must obviously be because he is **bad**'. 

I guess I need to be really wary of putting people on a pedestal. It's nice to look at my partner and think the world of him but the way I do it is just so intense. It's funny cos one of the first things my therapist ever said to me was 'let's not put people on pedestals' and I never understood why until today when I realised it's the other side of 'the split'.