i promised my bf i would stop self harming and i take promises way too seriously, like to a juvenile level. recently i have been having the urge to self harm again but i’m afraid if i do my bf will leave me. but then paradoxically i want to break up with him so i can self harm without feeling a “burden”

idk friends i feel so lost. i can’t break up with the person who makes me happy the most easily just to hurt myself. smh