Increased the dose by 50% two days ago; feeling like shit, time to adapt I guess. Many things to do, although just getting up and showering feels like climbing a mountain.

Last psychiatrist was an arse. He did not 'believe' in relapse. He laughed when I told him about my autism suspicion. Never went to the next appointment; and started an autism diagnosis myself with the help of an expert psychologist with adults in that field.

Contacted another psychiatrist two days ago, still waiting for a reply.

If no reply, I'll have another try on yet another psychiatrist on Tuesday.

I guess many people are feeling down in these times, but at least a "sorry, too many patients" would've been enough. I feel that they don't give a single shit, even when you tell them you have suicidal thoughts.

Godspeed to all of you; may you find the strenght to overcome your fucked up brains another day yet again.