I lost everything, the love of my life moved out, I got a new job but on this training pay I can't pay my bills, even my truck is breaking down, having to take care of my nephew and only seeing my kids basically a couple hours a day.

My love is helping me with dbt which I found out about through this sub, and somehow with the dbt and the thought of losing everything I have never felt more in control in my whole life. 

I guess not having much more to lose you seem to feel like finally nothing is holding you back to change for the good