i dont know whats real anymore im losing touch with reality. Idk what i feel, im zoning out. Cant even think straight. im numb. Im empty. Im hurt. im angry. im nothing. havent found myself yet everything goes so slow, maybe maybe not. cant manage it. i dont care but i do care. fuck its hard. Whats real? whats not. im closing up. I feel it getting bad again. I was doing so great but then i just fail. Im loosing hope. Im overwelmed. 
Losing track. Im scared of messing up.
im getting to much into my head. its a scary place. Im fine. No im not. but its okay
just another living day. tired of this never ending stigma. Its like im running in circle. if i just had the god damn tools. too much is wrong with me lol. im overthinking every step i make. Its exhausting. 
i just want to be strong but im fading. cant keep up.