As a child and young Adult, I have always had hatred for men!
I love my husband, my dads and brother, but it sucks going from 0-100 in a second.
It also sucks that when I am around men, esp because I don’t like them, because of ptsd, I just want them to hurt, make them feel small and worthless.
Maybe not all men are horrible, but, they’re simple-minded and things don’t bother them like they do for women.
There is a part in my brain that is thinking scandalous and the other part of me that wants to destroy them.
It’s like watching shows about women who lure men with looking super attractive, and then making them hurt. Never anything to the extent of death, but the hurt that they cause women.
I hate that feeling, I hate that my brain goes to this thought of making myself look like a model or a super hot women, make the men all gaga and fall for it, then BAM hurt them where they have hurt others.
I have never told anytime this aside from my doc 
It’s a disgusting part of my brain that I do not like at all, but it’s there and I hate it