Hi everyone,

 I am posting here, because, well, I have depression. 

 There are many factors for why,

 I don't cope well, and by this age I am worried all my coping over time has hurt me.

 Feelings I will never recover,

 Feelings like I am never heard,

 Feeling bad about my choices,

 my scars have scars,

 hypochondria eating me alive,

 this post isn't going well

 scared of dying but feeling like I'm going to die

 scared of what comes after

 recovering from homelessness

 recovering from childhood trauma

 feelings like my parents really let me down

 scared of thinking myself into a hole

 scared of what damage has been done

 being alone with these thoughts for far too long

 blaming social anxiety for my lack of meaningful relationships

 blaming body dysphoria for my haste to intimacy

 making regrettable decisions 

 living with it all

 grieving crushed dreams

 trauma from homelife

 anxiety about the higher power

 Panic never ending

 Introverted tendencies like eating alone

 Selfish purchases make me feel ugly inside

 Testosterone injections to transition to live as a male altered the pitch of my voice yet as time has gone on I have not recieved top surgery and I've begun to queue into some intagible differences between the sexes causing me to question my trans-identity , 

 Distrusting Canada's healthcare system,

 Predicting myself \*\*\*\*\*\* rotting... miserable as ever...

  feeling horribly out of the loop

  Never having recovered from past episodes 

  Sad about cars seeming out of reach, unattainable 

  Wishing I were intelligent, tech savvy, comparing myself to others

  Finally having my own apartment... 

  still recovering from the hell of being homeless

 still recoving from the hell that was my home life

 irked by the month of august... like a gust of wind is soon to carry me away