My work is gardening type stuff so it's not difficult just hurts after a while depending on the task. Things happened and I'm pretty sure I'll no longer be with my boyfriend who is the only person I've ever loved. Now everything is just numb and I'm dissociated. He was suppose to drop stuff off today but I have to go to work so if he does drop stuff off I wont get to see him... and I kind of dont want to see him. If it's over I dont want to see that he really doesnt love me anymore. Last time we hung out I could feel it. And now I just feel dead and I want to be invisible 