Hello, r/Anxiety,

Without diving too deep into my struggle with anxiety, I'll provide a bit of relevant information to explain my situation.

I work in healthcare, in a job with massive responsibility and massive related stress. To keep it short, I'm responsible for conducting tests that ultimately determine the wellbeing of the patients in our community hospital. I'm good at my job and cautious to boot, but the weight of the role has been detrimental enough to my mental wellbeing that over that last five years I've been to multiple therapists, called out at an increasingly regular rate due to anxiety induced insomnia, have had to take a month off on short term disability to recover from an especially difficult bout of depression and anxiety and truly believe that if I stay in this role I am going continue to suffer even further. I can't live with it anymore. To be blunt, the role has taken a toll on my mental health in a really awful way. I have not been able to relax my mind and live presently and calmly in half a decade. I am genuinely suffering everyday.

 The stress if the work itself is only compounded by a chaotic schedule - after my medical leave I requested, on the advice of my practioner, for reduced hours. Not only was I denied reduced hours but my schedule was made nonsensical and unpredictable- my set schedule has become a salad of different shifts. This week alone I work 11a-7p one day, 6a-3p the next, followed by 3p-11p and then circling back to 11-7. I don't even have time to prepare myself for these hours - the schedules are frequently posted only 2-3 days in advance.

I am wrapping up my final courses for a new degree that will allow me to start a new career in something less intense, which should be complete by February of 2022. While I realize that light at the end of the tunnel is so close, it seems so far away and I don't think I can or should stick it out for even that much longer. The issue tying me to my present position is unfortunately health insurance. My husband relies on the insurance from my employer to see the multiple doctors he needs to keep his blood pressure, cholesterol and mental health in check. If I leave my employer, that insurance is gone. So you can see, it is difficult to just put in my two weeks and hope something comes along. 

With all that said, my question is this; are there any options for actually affordable healthcare if I leave my employment? The doctor who took me out of work last year for mental health reasons is no longer at her practice, so I'm not sure a new doctor that I have no history with would be so willing to do that again while I look for something new. Looking at the marketplace, my options appear to begin at about 500 dollars each, monthly, which is 1000 dollars I won't have if I am not working. 

I just feel stuck and I need help or guidance making a really important move away from where I am now. I feel hopeless and kind of terrified. Is there any viable way anyone knows of that can make this work? I've looked into retail employers which would cut my salary in half but would be worth it to save my aching brain, but even that is anxiety inducing because I don't even know if any of these employers would hire me. I feel like I could make money for private insurance on my own if only it were about half the estimated price that I'm finding it to actually be. 

Thanks. 

Also, the fact that we (Americans) are forced into unhealthy labor situations by employers dangling healthcare like a carrot from a stick makes me fucking nauseous.