Rationally, I know that it’s normal for people to not want attention/not be able to give attention at certain times and that I’m not entitled to anyone. But in the moment, when my needs (attention) and the other person’s needs (space/quiet) are so conflicted, I have a hard time accepting it. It feels like our needs should be relatively similar at all times and that because they differ so widely, we’re fundamentally incompatible as people. 

Rationally, I know that someone’s day-to-day patience for me doesn’t dictate their overall feelings. But in the moment, I don’t understand how I can want so much from someone in one moment and have them be so content to be alone as I’m in so much pain. I have difficulty empathizing with others’ need for space because I almost always have more space than I want. I can’t fathom how someone won’t enthusiastically accept the level of attention I give them, because I’m giving them exactly what I wish I could get from others.

I am trying to work on this. I don’t want to be inconsiderate of other people’s boundaries and needs, so lately I tend to internalize these feelings, but the lack of outside input reinforces the feeling that other people’s need for space is about me instead of just a basic need almost all people need to fulfill once in a while. I guess I wish I was one of those people who needed space more often so I could feel like the moments of push and pull in my relationships were reciprocal. I almost feel jealous that other people can be content enough without attention that they sometimes *don’t even want it*. But no amount of attention is too much for me, and so I just end up feeling inferior or silly for not having a similar need for solitude.