Firstly please ignore my user I’m clearly not an Angel and let me explain why. 

I don’t know why this keeps happening. I’ll get chatting to someone on the internet, we’ll share details about ourselves and check in with each other regularly but not long after I ruin it. This also happens on dating apps and I’ve not yet had a successful date. Not that I’m looking for a relationship! I’ve never had one and happy single, I just do it for fun or something. 
I don’t have any friends since leaving school 7 years ago, I have social anxiety and getting checked for autism. 

I find it really hard to put myself out there and meet new people but I also really like my alone time and I have my mom who I enjoy spending time with and doing things so all of this, I don’t really feel too down about not having friends. However, sometimes I somehow manage to make friends with people online and they are happy to keep regular contact with me. 
I feel like once I’ve told them about myself and my pretty mundane ordinary life (as a loner), I begin to feel like there isn’t much else to talk about that’s different so I’ll often rely on them to keep the conversation going or I’ll try and bounce off any information or topic they give to me. 

Eventually though, I shut down and I’ll stop talking to them. Sometimes it’s because I just feel bored but sometimes I wonder if this is really just a me problem that I need to work on as it keeps happening.

I’m not saying all friendships on the internet need to last forever but if this is how I am online god knows how I’m gonna be if I start making friends in real life.
I ask myself is this because I’ve not had any friends in so many years I’ve just grown complacent with other humans? Lol maybe. 

I mean yeah, I would rather spend most of my time alone than with other people no matter who they are. 
Am I so much of an introvert that I literally could only ever handle one or two friends in real life? In high school I had a group of 5/6 friends, although we never really hung out outside of school unless it was an occasion like a birthday or sleepover. And yeah I wouldn’t have wanted to spend every day, every weekend with friends anyway. 

I know this is something probably a lot of people could relate to and this stuff alone wouldn’t necessarily signify a personality or mood disorder until… 

I talk about what 99% of the time happens with these online relationships. Sometimes I get argumentative to the other person right before I wanna leave or when I begin to get bored. I start to pick out flaws about them or their issues they have told me about or how they should be a better person etc. Anything. 
Knowing full well I have my own insecurities (like not feeling I’m interesting enough or doing enough with my life, my weight issues). 

These friendships I’m finding myself in are also always with men and I’m unsure how or why that is. Sometimes it will turn sexual, because they turn it sexual (at which point I know it’s not gonna last long) 
Or
I’ll turn things sexual out of nowhere. 

Sometimes I feel like that’s really the only reason guys are so interested in talking to me for so long. Guess you could say I have trust issues believing the opposite sex would really just wanna talk to me because it makes their day better or whatever. 

But yeah, I just keep finding myself in this continuous loop of making friendships were it gets quite deep and personal quick and then starting fights and leaving. 

I once had this guy call me psycho because we were messaging non stop and it got sexual and then because he ghosted me for a day I got pissy and then started verbally abusing him. But I didn’t even really like the guy, he had wanted to meet up and I already knew I wasn’t gonna. So why did I get like this? It’s not the first time something like this has happened either. Which makes me wonder… 

COULD this be a personality disorder type thing? I’ve heard that BPD can sometimes cause unstable moods and reactions to things (maybe that’s what happening over time with me), also the abandonment issues - like the example I gave above with the guy ignoring me for a day and me going crazy on him. 

I’ve heard relationships with some BPD can start super fast and end just as quickly, and that’s how things seem to be going with me. Or.. maybe it’s even a bipolar thing, as I’ve also heard having social anxiety and autism can cause you to be more likely for bipolar. And with my recluse nature and mood swings on people I do wonder. 

Love to know your opinions. I can add more in the comments if anyone responds. Thanks!