We’ve been having some rough couple of weeks and for a brief moment he regrets being an asshole to me (when he recognizes it) and starts watching YouTube videos and doing research and then the next day it’s like that interest is gone and we’re back on the cycle where me having a crisis is “bullshit” on his opinion and I am just trying to intentionally hurt him (also just found out that his therapist said that him yelling at me when I was crying mid crisis was a good thing to do - I have no idea why he thought it would be a good idea to tell me this but oh well, hope he gets the trophy he deserves). 

Just for a brief context I have just found a therapist and had my first session last week because of a huge fight we had and I recognized I really needed treatment ASAP but apparently I’m still a monster who needs to be stopped since I ruin everything.