I feel like I’ve been in a downward spiral of emotional self harm. I’ve continued to blow through my savings on things I never imaged myself spending money on trying overcome the weight I feel on my shoulders. I am in love and continue spending time with someone who has openly stated no longer wants a serious relationship with me. I feel at a constant peak of anxiety trying to hold in my emotions. I’m too emotional for a guy, too nice, I’ve been told. I feel at a low place, feeling like I’m going to go mad whenever I’m sober. I know this person isn’t good for me… maybe not even as a friend. I just don’t know how to overcome this… don’t know how to turn my back on it. I’ve tried and time after time I’ve come crawling back trying to rebuilt what once was. I’m a bully to myself constantly and don’t know how to escape it. I don’t know how to escape the constant anxiety I’m in. I’m 21 and I’ve dealt with constant anxiety throughout my teen years. It seems every year my anxiety has reached new heights. I’ve managed to keep a lid on it by drinking and by doing things that go completely against my morals. Being alone just makes it worst. I don’t know what to do, don’t know where my life is going. I have a great job, but feel empty. How can I find myself, find that piece of me that didn’t care what others thought, who didn’t care about being alone.