 Okay, so I'm grateful for this lil reddit community who also struggle through mental health... &lt;33 nice to not feel so isolated for once!

I had my first assessment with the psychiatrist today... In a snapshot of my complex life , I had a breakdown in march after a dreadful panic attack after repressing everything and realization that I'm literally indeed v depressed as i cant get out of bed- I have been like this for approximately 5 years in all honesty... even when I had a so called "clique of friends "I still found it very hard to concentrate/ stay motivated/ just genuinely happy in myself etc... and was extremely anxious regarding studying grades etc... as a result of this i have procrastinated to the max by binge watching etc,, and basically just fucked my life up completely. I am stuck in a rut and DO want and desperately need change as i so far have let my v good potential go to waste! (i even have ambition:)

Have since been prescribed the 50mg, but havent yet taken-There is a few reasons why I've not taken this dose;

1. I had a terrible BED last year and still want to lose more weight , and would preferably want to attempt this to see how far my body can lose whilst not on any substance (if this makes sense)and I have heard horror stories of weight gain and just do NOT need more weight gain trust me I'm fat enough rn and am very small so its worse
2. Dependence- may sound ridiculous but i don't want to become dependent on them for life... and would rather be happy naturally than superficial as i am actually sooo lucky and blessed in life .. but i do also understand that depression isnt a choice.....So, If you were in my position rn, and as someone who has gone through whatever your experience with sertraline was, what would you do? wait a lil while longer and attempt more therapy , or go straight on the meds? Much needed advic ultimately i do think its time for meds but ngl im anxious lol! fear of side affects is possibly the worst I was seeking a psychologist but at this stage, im not sure is talk therapy always the way forward.. some shitty therapists out there also