02 February 2022                       
02;47am 

My now ex boyfriend told me he's ashamed to say he's with me &amp; I asked him why then he hung up the call &amp; started telling me he's only with me cause he's scared to be alone. He then went on to say he lied about the whole day &amp; he didn't even go to college like he said he did instead he hung out with friends &amp; then he said he's not sorry for any of it. I didn't reply to any of his messages after I saw him say he's bot sorry for any of what he did &amp; said I blocked him &amp; deleted him. I know I have bpd but even I know it's not normal to be ashamed of your partner. I feel awful about myself. I wish I had supportive understanding &amp; caring people in my life &amp; not shitty selfish ones. Actually maybe I sound selfish for saying that but all I mean is I wish I had better judge of character &amp; a self-esteem that wasn't on the floor. If I had any self-confidence or self respect I would of left a long time ago. I'm hurting right now &amp; I don't know what my next steps are, any advice would be appreciated. Thanks for reading ♡