why do i feel the need to hurt someone back for hurting me?

even when it was unintentional on their part, even when they meant no harm

even when they're simply expressing their emotions to me

if i feel rejected or abandoned because of what they're telling me, i lose it

i can't handle my partner telling me they "need space" and are "on the fence" about us

a normal brain would be sad but reasonable

my brain? i feel like im dying. i scream, hurt myself, cry out, panic

i say hurtful stuff back. i want them to hurt like they are hurting me

except im doing it for the wrong reasons.

why am i like this? im in so much pain