I’m 25. I wake up. I feel like I’m not even 25. I feel young. Yet as I get older I can’t act young. I should be acting mature. I should be an adult. Be boring. I live on my own. I do what adults do. I work full time. I genuinely want to die and have for as long as I remember. Yet I remember very little due to just watching life pass by. Like looking out of a window. Not caring. I can’t cry due to my own thoughts or etc. yet seeing others or sad stories I get like a few tears which once I acknowledge they stop. I hate talking about my problems because it doesn’t help. I don’t feel better after ranting. I’ve tried an end yet I’m here. I know I have severe depression yet I know logically I want to die. To me the world is very simple. It is black and white. Everything is just as is. (Doesn’t make sense yet in my mind I understand what I mean) I just wish I could be reborn like those stories and mange/anime. I can’t sleep well or long. Terrible nightmares(horrors. Dark) So I daydream of new lives.. Magical, new body I wish I had(hate the body I was born in) family, a little sibling. Friends, adventure. Actual magic abilities. My daydreams are what make this emptiness feel like it could be filled one day ( yet it won’t. Not in this world) So in all. I feel like a puppet. I wish somebody would take my strings and live my life or just burn me and free my soul that’s trapped.