I barely ever took care of my dental hygiene in middle school or high school or early college bc I was so depressed and hated myself and didn’t care enough to take care of myself. Not showering is something that’s easy to recover from, and people can’t even tell that I used to not shower as much. I hate myself, though, when I see my teeth. Years of neglect are so obvious. Slightly yellow. Never got braces so they’re slightly crooked. They look okay in pictures or from a distance, but up close or under bright light, they look  so yellow to me. 

I feel like I could never have an intimate partner bc they would probably think I’m disgusting because of my teeth. I feel like nobody will ever want to kiss me bc if they see my teeth, they’ll immediately get the ick. I try not to show my teeth when I laugh or smile. Smiling with teeth is obviously perceived better, but I feel like my slightly crooked slightly yellow teeth will cause me to be judged. Especially in the US. I feel so disgusting. I feel like I can never overcome this. I want to try hydrogen peroxide or teeth whitening, but I’m scared I’ll do damage to my already-sensitive gums or enamel. 

I wish I could die. I feel like a ruined person. I’ve tried to pick up dental hygiene over the last 3-4 years but struggled a lot. Ive struggled so much. I’ve suffered some of the worst depressive episodes of my life in the last 3-4 years, and brushing my teeth is always the first thing that falls off. I feel so gross. I feel like I’m a lost cause. I feel undesirable. I feel like the color of my teeth will ruin opportunities for me. I feel so dejected. Every time I see my teeth close up. I feel disgusting.