I have nothing to live for anymore and I haven't for a long time. Life is so gray and pointless to me and I enjoy nothing. I have no hope for my future and no family that I can actually turn to for help. I am on medication and seeing 2 therapists but nothing is helping. I don't want to be here anymore because I can't stand being alive with no motivation or hope for anything. Why was I even born just to be abandoned and bullied by my family. For my adult years to be fucked up by them and I have to fix it by myself. My whole life is fucked and I don't care for anything. It's impossible to. Nothing at all brings me joy and I see no point of going on. I'm basically here until something happens and I finally die.