At 26 I’m completely lost. I couldn’t say anything that would rationalize the way I feel. People have it so much worse than me, the problems I feel that are so overwhelming but are brushed off by everyone I vent too. I’m constantly being told that it’s all gonna be okay and that’s not enough. 
Living with the love of my life has become hell. I don’t want to be seen or touched or be apart of this world in any real way. Living with someone who constantly wants me to participate in life is becoming too much. I feel myself sabotaging this relationship because I can no longer deal with anything. 
Im already in so much pain but watching myself being cold to the one person who has been there for me is an even deeper hell. 
I am not coping with life in any shape or form and I honestly don’t know how to continue. 
All of my fantasies are just me running away from everyone and even those desires hurt me .
I feel like I’m losing my mind. I only feel apathy for myself, my life, and others yet I have panic attacks on a daily basis. I’m not sure how to end this rant . There’s no resolution. It’s just incredibly difficult to be living this way.