Tl;dr - since November I’ve been regularly crying (at least every other day), I’m desperate to stop this.

Background: [24f here] prior to November, I was a different person. I felt my life was ticking over nicely. 

Winter hit - potentially onset of SAD, a wave of sadness/bleakness hit. Friends and family noticed, I distanced myself from my (now ex) boyfriend. Generally not myself. 

I don’t typically do well at Christmas anyway as I feel it’s a lot of pressure to be happy. But then a storm of life issues took over: close friend became odd with me over her wedding, partner was struggling to deal with my mood in turn making him down so we agreed to end things (amicably but still very upsetting), I was getting ready to finalise moving out in 2022 but it all fell through (so feel like I’m back at square one again), started a new job which wasn’t what I expected so that added to my emotions. 

I live at home with my family. I feel so much guilt being upset around the house all the time, it’s not fair on my family at all. I need to stop. But each day, after work, something overwhelms and takes over only to lead to the upset.

I was in therapy over winter last year but found the techniques not helpful or I struggled to apply them to my life issues. Medication was explored but advised against, I’m also worried about the side effects friends have told me about.

I know I’m sensitive but I’ve never been this bad. I’m officially in the worst headspace I’ve ever been in and I can’t continue on in this fashion.