my boyfriend that im on a break with whos also my fp is working at the same event one of my closest girlfriends is going to. i keep thinking theyre sleeping together. i cant handle this shit it hurts so bad and i just have no real reason to think this and i know i dont but its there and im trying so hard to stay present instead of losing my shit and texting both of them. shes been acting weird to me but its literally because her grandmother just passed away what the fuck kind of person am i to think this shit? she was literally there for me when me and him were deciding to go on a break and i was just absolutely shattered. this is the kind of shit that made me and him take this break. im such a horrible human being sometimes. im so tired of pulling my hair out over this shit when its not even real and hurting the people i care about by accusing them of this dumb shit. but its so real. i see it playing in my head over and over and over and its ripping me apart inside.