I know this probably isn’t the best place to be doing this but I really need to vent and maybe get some advice. I just got diagnosed this past month with Asperger’s but it is has gotten a lot more obvious this year for some reason. I am 21 F and a junior in college. I really don’t care about college and I’ve basically half assed my way through and throughout all of school before that too. I don’t care about anything really other than some special interests of mine. I am incredibly lazy and I can’t get myself to do anything. My family forced me to go to college but honestly I don’t know where I’d be if I wasn’t there now. I have zero friends and am socially incompetent. My family has come to despise me because I have a condition that causes some hair loss and I constantly have mental breakdowns. I torture my grandma ( the only person who cares about me and the only person who will listen to me) by obsessing to her whenever I lose too much hair in the shower. My hair and looks are all I have. Once that’s gone I am nothing. I am not attractive because of my piece of shit personality. I am a monster. She pays for me to eat organic pesticide free food so I can prevent further hair loss on the conditions that I go to college. My family tells me 24/7 what a loser piece of shit I am and how useless I am. I am going to be homeless soon. I am too depressed to clean up after myself. I am too dumb to work and I can’t keep up in fast paced jobs. I can’t count back money and I can’t even count change as fast as I need to. I am completely financially dependent. This is horrific. I don’t understand how this happened to me. Everything went to shit so fucking fast. I know there really isn’t anything anyone can say but it just helps to vent. I don’t know how much more I can take and I am beginning to consider ending it all.