Hey so I'm currently in high school, last grade (couldnt tell you which cause I'm from France), i'm 17 and I struggle a lot with school. I'm seeing a nurse because he told me I didnt need a psychologist but I can't get myself to open to him : I've never seen anyone so I don't know what's relevant to tell or not. I often fantasize about being hospitalized or throwned in jail so that all my responsibilities go away but my shameful thoughts usually catch me back to remind me people would need more help than me in those institution (at least in hospital). My mother is a true help for me but I'm too ashamed of myself to tell her anything and I also don't want anyone to worry about my state. I never do anything about my messy bedroom and I even struggle to take regular showers (last week I showered 3 times in total, sorry if that disgusts you). I don't know if that is the right subreddit to get help since my nurse told me I didn't have depression, but I still believe I have something wrong. 
Btw I don't have real medications but i've been prescripted plants that I do take sometimes (but I don't think that they truly do anything tbh) to deal with anxiety.

Thank you for your time reading that 🙏