I don't want advice here. I'm just unsure, and don't want to call this something it's not. I'm shaking because I don't know what to think, and I've never talked about this. 

This happened quite a while ago. I was sleeping over my boyfriends house and while in bed he started touching me. This wasn't unusual. I was quite uncomfortable but I didn't want to say no. I often don't want to say no even when I really don't want to be doing anything sexual. I can't blame him for continuing on with things when I say yes, and play the part. I don't blame him.

But anyways, he continued. I was getting progressively more tired, even falling asleep, but part of me tried to seem interested in some way, I tried to get myself in the mood as I normally do, but I just couldn't. So I tried to fall asleep in hopes he would too.

Quite a while later, he asked if this was okay - that he was touching me - and I hesitantly said "yeah." I was in the fetal position facing away. I'm not quite sure how he had "access." I made no effort to make myself more available and I thought I was even a bit resistant when he decided to move me so it was easier for him.

The part I'm not sure what to call... he didn't ask at all, no warning - I could tell he was taking off his underwear and then he had sex with me. I was incredibly uncomfortable, and stayed there frozen. Eventually I just started to go through the motions - essentially to get it over with. I tried to make it feel good. I didn't want to back out or make him feel guilty. He usually asks. I know he just forgot. But I just don't know what to call this. 

That was the first time something like that happened to me. I've had sex a lot of times where I didn't want to, I was uncomfortable or in pain but just acted my way through it. I said yes all of those times, and tried to seem enthusiastic so I'm not going to blame anyone but myself there. But I've never frozen the way I did with this. I held my breath. And I never got a chance to say yes.