I have finally began doing the research of my year old bpd diagnosis. I avoided it for so long because I was terrified to face the facts. Whilst doing my research, I came across an alarming statistic that 75% of people with bpd will make at least one unalive attempt. Now I don’t actually know if this statistic is true but it was has changed my entire mindset. It has been lingering in the back of my mind for days. I feel like a ticking time bomb. I feel upset on one hand but also weirdly relieved. I am on two different antidepressants and go to therapy once a week and still feel like shit so it just felt like my only other option. I am genuinely considering if I should check myself in somewhere however I am working on transferring to a university and also working everyday so I can’t afford it financially or time-wise. I am definitely struggling but absolutely not at rock bottom.