He knows my original Reddit account so
Posting on a throw away

The truth is I can’t blame him entirely.. it’s my fault just as much as his, but I feel like he doesn’t try anymore , he doesn’t care anymore and has no patience for my bullshit

I go through a depressive episode, he gets annoyed.
I don’t express what’s wrong, he gets annoyed.
I act distant he acts distant
I overthink, he gets annoyed

I get it, it’s not easy to deal with someone who’s depressed/has bpd .. it’s difficult when they’re sinking and not pulling themselves up, you end up not knowing how to help them anymore..but fuck it’s not easy for me either. I hate waking up, I hate talking about my feelings out loud because I don’t even know where to start. I hate that the only Reason I’m here is for my loved ones. I hate how miserable I am. I hate that I can’t enjoy anything. I hate how my emotions don’t make sense. I hate myself and I hate everything..

And on top of this I have to deal with him being annoyed and distant with me all the time. It’s like every other day we get in a fight. He said he’s grown this resentment towards me because he feels like he can’t talk to me about things he goes through anymore, it’s just “all about me” but he doesn’t even try to express himself and when he does I’m
Nothing but supportive. If anything I encourage him to talk to me , but he takes it upon himself To “put my problems above his” than slowly hates me for it.. it’s so exhausting

Saying these things makes me feel like a self centred asshole but I’m fucking tired of it all. If he resents be so much then why does he stay? Why does he still try to act like he gives a fuck. Anytime he asks me what’s wrong I just want to tell him to leave me Alone