Im 20F and lately I’ve been having intrusive thoughts about the worst possible scenarios in my life. It hits at night just when I’m about to go to sleep. Recently, it’s been about the health of me and my family. When school begins, it will be about school and my future. It often shifts to what my mind is mostly on. 

I went to see a doctor about 1-2 months ago with my dad. Suddenly my doctor revealed my dad came 3 months ago for an issue that concerned him. My family doctor is slow and doesn’t really push unless he thinks there’s something really wrong. My clinical doctor said he just wants him to check to make sure its not (the big C) or something else. My mind was cloudy and i started asking questions. My dad reassured me it only lasted for three days and by the third day he never saw the symptom again. He also mentioned it wasn’t the first time and it happened before but for much longer in 2007. He’s gone through a series of tests and they did not find anything. To be fair, he’s a student. He goes hours a day without just sitting down so its expected to see body changes. It sort of relaxed me that it was a short period and he felt fine but kept going on and on so now i feel worse. Now i keep noticing people saying that their fathers passed away on TikTok. I know most of the time it’s just coincidence but it just adds to my worries. 

Even for myself. Every feeling in my body worries me that i too may have (the big C) and i always pray i wont every night but i still see videos everyday and it seems like a sign. The thoughts come in random waves and it takes a real distraction to forget it.

Recently, this has also happened with my mom and the safety of my sister who constantly travels by vehicle. “Signs”. I know they’re just thoughts but they’re exhausting me and i don’t know what to do and who to talk to. 

What can i do to make this stop? Please. I would like some peace of mind someday soon.