Urghhhhhh. So I’ve been mostly sober the past few months, but last Friday I got lit at the hairdresser (they offer free glasses of wine/bubbles). Straight afterwards I had a dinner with my housemates who were introducing me to a guy they thought I’d get along with. By this time I was pretty tipsy. Me and the guy ended up staying out and then going back to his. My memory starts fading at this point. Pretty sure I was word vomitting and told him I’m bipolar (probably didn’t mention BPD. Woke up at his the next day but we had kept our clothes on.

Got major alcohol shames but also just massive fear of rejection. I feel like I sabotaged it by getting so drunk because I know I’m not in a position to be dating.

I know this feeling of shame and rejection will pass, but I think whilst in recovery it’s a good idea for me not to date at all!