After recent personal events, I think setting myself up some rules for general behavior and/or specific no-no's would be pretty useful. And since I have gained so much from this sub, I figured I should try to contribute. So here's a couple of rules that are broadly specfic enough to maybe help a few of us struggling out here.

If you have any complaints, additions, or just wanna call me dumb, I will be reading all the comments for this post. And all going well, I might post weeklyish with added and modified rules that I've managed to gather from my pain and from your comments.

Warning! I have not been in counseling/any official treatment for a while now, so these will be backed purely by anecdote, experience, and emotion. Sorry, not sorry.

What I've got so far

1) Feelings on their own are not to be judged. Actions are judged.

Ex: I'm allowed to miss my ex, but I probably shouldn't blow up his/her phone.

2) Fantasies, even impulsive ones, are opportunities for discovery. They are typically not proof of evil.

Ex: If I wish I had a chronic disease so that others would have to care about me, it might be more true that I want love/affection that I can trust.