I used to love living, the small beauties of life, happiness in details, the happiness of making a change, nature and the beauty of it. 

Then something switched, I don't know what it is but it changed over time. now I hate this world. I hate cruelty, I hate wars, animals suffering. I see humanity as the cause of every single bad thing going on. I hate it. Sometimes I just want us to go extinct so the nature would go back to the way it was with its own rules. I find it hard to see something good anymore. 

On the other hand, I have terrible anxiety, sometimes leading to panic attacks. Health anxiety time to time. I am not suicidal but I don't understand why I'm so scared of my life ending one day, I don't even like this place we call the earth