i split on my own parents and whenever i do, i’ll start clinging to the other because i feel like the other was who caused all this shit.

i can’t stop doing this.. i’m a horrible daughter. i’m as horrible as my own parents, i continue to snap at them even though they’ve changed. what really sucks is that when i calm down, it becomes insanely clear on why what happened, happened in my childhood. all the regret comes pouring in and i feel like shit. 

i haven’t even took the first step to try and heal from my trauma. it’s clearly affecting everyone and i feel im responsible for their happiness. everyone is so focused on me and wants me to get better but i fucking CANT