I’ve always never been attached to anyone, like friends or my family like i could just walk away or they all die and i wouldn’t care, my grandparents both died this year and i couldn’t careless even tho i spent majority of my childhood with them, i started to notice i was different when i realised that i’ve never had a crush on anyone and it started to u hold from there, ive never been a normal child my parents being absent with my sick younger brother, who my younger self hurt very often to the extent of him having a bald spot on his head from a scar and burned holes in his crib, i have no filter when i comes to bad emotions like hate, i don’t care if someone’s mean to me but if they make other people not like me by saying stuff behind my back i will ruin them, i also feel like i don’t feel like what emotions are like i can feel differently at times but it doesn’t happen by itself i have to make myself do it? The only way i can feel connected to someone is when i am fully obsessed with them like they will be all i talk about or message, i guess when i’m trying to get at is this what normal people are like and everyone is also faking it and these feeling develop overtime or are my friends right and i need to get help, because i want to be able to feel something for someone! please help

also an example of me having no boundaries, in year 9 one of my friends was more popular in the group and tried to make me seem bad so i made a whole 2 month plan that involved framing her for physically abusing me (me banging myself against a wall to get bruises) that ended up with her getting expelled and everyone turning against her but i don’t feel bad she deserved it.