Im 12 years old and I feel like i just don't have any purpose, I think im depressed since summer, I don't really have any friends, except some classmates which probably are friends with me bcs we see eachother everyday at school. Everyday feels like the last 7 months on repeat, my room is a mess, I have tried many times suicide but im too scared to actually complete this. The last time i tried to sufocate myself my mother slapped me and then yelled at me about how ungrateful I am, and that I have everything, then the next days she joked Abt that.My brother told me to run away or kill myself, and that my mother is right. I have been bullied this summer by the people who I tought to be my friends, which I think started all of this, I have low Self esteem, anger Issues and anxiety, my family treats me like the black Sheep and I cry myself to sleep for 4 months. I wish I had someone to talk too. I always tell myself that I am faking this for atention because im too young, but then again I think about all this shit and I think im not actually faking this, what should I do? Should I actually do It, Should I open up to someone, should I call a suicide Hotline, should I run away?