I don’t deserve to be alive. For the most part I have those thoughts under control but then I’m reminded of what an inconsiderate, uncompromising, lazy asshole I am and how I have ruined and continue to ruin my relationships by alienating the other person. All I can think about is what a waste of air I am. Just a waste of space, time, effort, air, and money. Just making everyone else’s lives more difficult. I don’t know how I’m supposed to go on.