I have crippling anxiety and it’s caused me to quit my job a year ago. I finally have the opportunity to go back, and I have so much anxiety I’m shivering and dry heaving/ coughing right now like minutes after I got the news that I’m able to go back next week.

I’ve been actively working towards going back to work and now that I have this chance next week, I have crippling anxiety. 

I can’t do this anymore. I’m tired of living my life like this. I’m tired of getting crippling anxiety to the point I can’t live a normal life. I need help.

What options do I have? Do I just need to work through it? How can I cope? How can I lessen my anxiety over time? Are there any supplements or anything to help? I don’t want medication right now because it interacts with my ability to focus at work. I want to work through this and be normal. 

Even if I’ll never *feel* normal, I just want enough courage to live life without making decisions purely based off my anxiety. I tell myself that it doesn’t matter, or that what I’m feeling is valid based off what’s happened to me before (which isn’t anything traumatic, I just perceived it that way) but that I shouldn’t care about what other people think or how they treat me. 

I should be confident and comfortable with myself. My main fears are coming off as awkward / loser / I shouldn’t be here and nobody cares that I’m here. 

I’ve also gained a lot of weight and I’m self conscious about it and I work in the nightlife industry so being social and looking appropriate IS part of the job. I want to get another job in a sustainable career field and I’m currently going through a learning program to do so, but it takes time and I still need money in the mean time.

Can anyone please help… I don’t want to waste this opportunity… but I feel like my anxiety will ruin it for me.