I’m in 6th year of med school and I’ve got to repeat an exam within a month. I can’t bring myself to study. I simply don’t want to. I have a chance to pass 6th year by passing this exam and if I fail it then I repeat the year. I have repeated a year before and I’m exhausted. I like helping people but I don’t like studying medicine. On top of that I believe I have ADHD, and the last psychiatrist I saw suspected it. The doctors in my country are few and I couldn’t get along with them. 

I was diagnosed as BP2 4 years ago. I still struggle to focus. I struggle with sleep. I struggle with atypical depression and lately my limbs feel like lead and all I am able to do is eat and sleep. I struggle with my OCD. I stopped making time for the things I love. I stopped talking with my friends. I don’t like to leave my room.


I’m so exhausted I just want to cry in the arms of someone but no one is here. I want to feel the love and support, not just hear it or read it. I don’t know how to fight for myself so I’m going to give in to those feelings that drag me into an abyss that I don’t know how to get out of. 


Thanks for reading my vent. I truly don’t have the energy to reply but if you’re going to say something don’t bother, if you do then I appreciate it.