exactly what the title says. i get in phases where i’m obsessed with the idea of being someone. i even try to fish out romantic relationships online. i go on dating apps and look for a serious relationship. HOWEVER, i’m very high standards and very picky. something do little as a certain way someone takes a photo can make me just want to block them. i have this idea of how i want me and this ideal person to be and how i want our relationship to be, so anything that interferes with that and i go running.  i sometimes can’t fathom how people *dont* want a real relationship. i’ll look and see peoples tinder bio and it say something like “just looking for friends!” like how are you NOT so desperate that you’re seeking out every single person. also my motive for going to parties is that maybe i’ll meet someone. if i become friends with someone (even online) i’m like yes let’s flirt with them! yes let’s try to date them! i ALWAYS am thinking of someone as a possible girlfriend. and then say we do start dating, i end up hating them because my thoughts were never real in the first place since i was just desperate. i hate this so much, i don’t even know how to explain it because i don’t understand it. this is probably the thing i struggle with most. hell, i don’t even know if it’s bpd. i’m just assuming bc it fits with my other problems with bpd