I always have such extreme emotions and feel way too much to the point where it’s overwhelming as fuck constantly and can barely live my life. Sometimes, though, I get so emotionally triggered that I just become totally numb because it’s simply too painful to think about whatever is triggering me, so I just shut my brain and emotions off. I can’t control it, it just happens, and that’s what I’m experiencing right now. It’s been like 7 years since I’ve felt like this so it’s kind of scaring me because usually this feeling of emptiness just leads to reckless and harmful impulsive behavior, even suicide attempts. But as much as that scares me, it scares me even more to think that my emotions will return. I much prefer numbness it to the way I normally feel, I wish my emotions could be gone forever. This a normal symptom of bpd or am I just fucked