First off, I am not actually diagnosed with BPD but after research, I've found out that people with BPD can most probably relate to my issue. I have an FP, who is my boyfriend. We've been together for almost 5 months now, and my jealousy got gradually worse until the point where if he's hanging with his friends without me or isn't giving me attention 24/7 or leaves me on read etc. I will get into an incredibly bad mood, kind of like a panic mode. Even if we are on a party, I demand most of his attention or else I'll most likely sit with a sour face. It doesn't help me that we are classmates so I see him talking to other people every single day... I've had another boyfriend for almost 3 years, but I was literally NEVER, EVER jealous of him. I don't understand what caused this extreme behavior with my current boyfriend and I wish my thoughts would be normal again:(   


I do have other friends but I just don't feel the same connection with them, and that makes me sad too. I want to have best friends without this whole obsession and idolizing thing.   


I would always feel SO guilty about these feelings, and I always tried to rationalize them, knowing that it's normal for people to have other friends and spend time away from me. But still, it just rocks me to my core whenever this happens, and I'm afraid of pushing him away wih my obsession and I just end up in this spiral of anxiety and fear :(  


I am planning to see a psychologist but I'm afraid I won't be able to for a couple weeks... So in the meanwhile, I would like to ask for some advice or maybe mindfulness tips on how to handle this sort of jealousy. I really want to get better and stop feeling like this, and although at least I now notice these behaviours, I usually can't calm my jealousy for hours.  


Thank you in advance for any advice and help!