I've been buying less and less groceries because I'm broke. I'm a college student and haven't worked for 6 months since moving, but I've been looking for jobs for the past few months (I've just been taking a lot of time getting used to the area/school, and have filled out applications without getting responses). I'm in debt from some accidental damage I caused at my last apartment, have to pay car insurance, rent, several hundred dollars a month for therapy/doctors appointments, etc. You know, normal life expenses--I just have been using my college savings. My financial aid covers most of my tuition, but I still have to pay them a few hundred every quarter too, and while I'm looking into getting more aid, my family is wealthy on paper and I probably can't claim I'm independent if my dad pays my phone bill.

I've gotten to the point where I'm expecting my insurance payment to get rejected this month, and have been told by my psychiatrist to ask my brother for money until I can get back on my feet (my stepmom prevents my dad from giving me help, and my mom is broke, but my brother makes a very nice salary and has no bills to pay). I haven't asked him yet because I feel guilty and anxious. I didn't talk to him for a few years because of my mental health issues, and I don't feel deserving of his help even though he would probably be more than willing to give me a loan or something. He's actually loaned my dad some cash a few times, which is kind of hilarious, but also not the point.

I saw that one of my favorite tattoo artists is gonna be nearby in a few months, and I paid the deposit. I have 3 tabs open for clothes and bags that I want to buy--my backpack is starting to fall apart, so I guess it's kind of valid for me to be looking for new ones, but I don't have the money. One of the bags is $20 and the other is $98, and holy fucking shit, why do I just have the urge to buy them both???

I barely have food in my pantry and I'm planning on buying a fucking messenger bag for $100 while I still have to save up a few hundred to pay for the tattoo I planned without thinking. Impulsivity who?

Tl;Dr college has made me broke but I'm still dropping a few hundred dollars on a tattoo