since i was a child, ive always felt that i wont make it till my 18 birthday, and i've never imagined a future after that - now im seventeen and stuck in my room, without any goals or plans and i feel so hopeless, and i cant talk to anyone about this because i will be even more of a burden

i have dreams sometimes, i always wanted to do something connected to forensics and stuff, i also used to love art  and books (now it just brings me anxiety and pain), but i feel like i am not worthy of achieving those dreams? im too much of a failure to deserve having something good

and i know that there are many older people here, who have also felt like this when they were my age, but at this point i dont know if any words will make me feel better

it's like, if i saw someone in this situation i would try to comfort them, and find many reasons why their thoughts were wrong, but idk why i cant apply that logic to myself and my bullshit brain

i just want to sleep and cry