So basically looking back in my last relationship I noticed I do this weird thing where I become obsessed with my cousin ex’s past partners and have tried to go out of my way to befriend them. I even took it a step further where I planned on sleeping with one of them. I’m not entirely sure that I did this to get back at my ex as a “haha fuck you i fucked your other ex”. I actually believe I did this because I WANTED to be my ex or almost take the narrative that his past relationship was also my past relationship? I don’t even think I wanted to sleep with his ex because I would have enjoyed it but almost like... I would have been closer to my ex? Does that sound fucked up? I have no idea why I felt this way and looking back on it I have no idea why I wanted to do this. I think possibly it may be some sort of envy? Almost like I wish I could be my ex or prevent him from leaving me by literally being him? Idk???