So just looking for some advice and support I guess. I'm diagnosed with Borderline and will be going back into hospital in the next week or two for dual diagnosis treatment. Last time i was there I met a girl that I got really good friends with. She's borderline too. There was defiantly some chemistry at first but we were both in a mental hospital and on some heavy meds so I never made a move but I really liked her, just didn't realise how much until I settled into the right meds. Fast forward a couple of months when I was really bad and doing a lot of illicit drugs and I sent her a bunch of messages confessing how i felt. That did not go well and she didn't see us the same as i did. That would have been fine if I left her alone but every time I got bad I'd send her a message and when I was really bad and ended up doing lots of drugs like xanax and ketamine and weed and the got weird. I don't remember a lot of it for obvious reasons.  


I deleted her number and all ways for me to contact her when I was ok again as it's just not fair but even years later I still can't get her out of my head. She attends the same mental health service as me and there isn't really many other options where I am so I'm worried I'm going to run into her again while i'm an inpatient again. I've never been this obsessive about anyone before and generally my biggest issue, especially with girls is not really caring that much or disassociating my emotions to the point where I don't even know how I feel.  


I guess my main question is how do I get past those feelings and if I do run into her again what can I do to make the situation not awkward for her and potentially ruin her treatment.