When I was a kid I occasionally allowed myself to gaze ahead. I didn't want to be the guy who still lived at home with his parents when I grew up. Well, here I am.

I remember romanticizing the idea of love, and being anxious yet excited to experience it for real. I don't have, never have had, and will in all likelihood never have anyone like that.

I wanted to travel. Let the road take me somewhere, experience different cultures, try different cuisines, see different flora and fauna. I've been on exactly one real 'trip' in 25 years, and now I waste my days stuck inside my room, thoughts of adventure so far from my mind.

I was never career oriented. I never wanted to be a 'live for my work' person. I sought a humble life, with a humble home and a humble lifestyle. I just figured I'd end up settling for something dull that would ultimately support that. Sacrifice hours in a day in return for a fulfilling life. What a joke.

The kid who first had all of these thoughts is long dead, I just run the grown up body on autopilot until it runs out of juice. It's for the best. That naive little boy with the sparkle in his eyes would hate to see what I have become.