Indeed like I’m still caught in a dream or coma and one day I’ll wake up and I’m all healthy and happy.
I still feel like I was 10 and didn’t know what a personality disorder was and thought I would have my whole life ahead of me! Graduate, marry, have a nice life and stuff but I can’t get the thought of being ill into my head. I feel like I’m supposed to be doing something else now like healthy people.

Well even as a child I thought I might be an alien and my life’s a test and if I’d do something (like petting a black dog or maybe just say a word like bamboo) They would come and tell me it’s been a joke all along or a test and now my real life will begin. 

Now with all that stuff that happened it still feels like it didn’t happen to ME. Maybe to someone else but not to me.