I never met someone like this. Like me. Until now. And that'd be a good thing. Except, I realize that it really is a bottomless pit. He can be as perfect as conceivable and yet, I'm still splitting. I'm still doubting his affection for me. I'm still left wondering despite countless promises and professions of his love when he'll leave me. This isn't the kind of person whose loss I can tolerate. I'm not even idealizing him like I did with previous people. He's legitimately exactly like me. Sexuality and all. What's the point! Why! Out of fear of abandonment, it is I who ignore him at times. I run. Why?! He WANTS my attention right? But no. Keep splitting why don't I?! WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT. I feel sad as fuck and insecure when I talk to him. Why'd I let myself love him? Duh, stupid is me I guess. Fuck my life. I can't even leave him at this point. I love him more than anything on the planet and, I doubt his integrity because he's literally the most perfect person I've ever seen. Why. Why even bother with this disorder. To fall in love or make friends when perfect ones come and STILL our need for excessive undying love and affection aren't met. He's in love with a fantasy anyway. I'm sure of it.