im always the second, third, fourth choice. i reach out to them just to be left on read. they never check in on me. but they always post about themselves and if they go out w other friends or everything’s all about their bf for one of them. 

the texting thing really gets to me? like yeah people have lives but to quite literally drop off the conversation and never respond when i clearly asked a question or in the middle of ME giving THEM advice/encouragement? god the anger i feel at 1. me putting in the wasted effort to try and 2. their carelessness for what i have to say. im just never reaching out to anyone first ever again. i always seem to be the one that’s readily available and im so deeply embarrassed by it, because no one else in my life is