I can't take it anymore. i am unemployed and i need a job but its not going to be possible for me. social anxiety is so bad for me. panic anxiety and more i think. depressed aswell. cant even talk to anyone. cant go to birthday parties because soon as i am the top and everyone looks at me i fucking shit myself. i go red i start panicing and my face is shaking and shit. so fucking scary. i just want it to be over and i want my mom to know but i am to scared to tell her and i feel ashamed.