i definitely have experience w mental health issues, i’m bipolar and experience psychosis so i know that mental illness sucks so badly but i don’t know how to help my friend struggling w BPD. we’ve been friends since we were kids, we met when we were both going through some really hard times. i love her so much, she is my soulmate and i’d do anything for her and i just don’t know how to help her. 
she lives in another state now, i wish i could see her like right this second but i won’t be able to visit for at least a month. she has a boyfriend who also lives in another state- they started dating before they even met (me and my friend, i’ll call her kelly are 18 and her boyfriend, john, is 22). john and kelly have only seen each other in person twice, she visited him for 2 weeks last winter and a month just recently. 
john is awful. she has awful psychotic episodes and panic attacks and calls him to reach out for help and he turns his phone off because he “doesn’t wanna deal with the drama”. she gets super insecure and scared that he’s cheating on her (which i think he is) and he just calls her crazy and high maintenance. during her visit, he hung out w female friends one on one and didn’t let her come, he allowed his mother to steal 800 dollars from her, ignored her for an entire day without ever explaining why. one day she woke up having a terrible panic attack, she was sobbing and screaming and just freaking out. he tried to “calm her down” by picking her up (?), then he claims that she was hurting him (she is tiny literally weighs less than 100 pounds, he’s over twice as big as her) so he threw her in his closet and locked her in. he screamed at her (she sent me audio recordings as this was happening) saying things like “i tried to fucking help you even when you were breaking down and you don’t fucking listen”, he threw random things around his room at the closet door, and then threw himself at the closet door so many times so aggressively that he broke the door and it like collapsed on her. then he hit her. he left many marks and claims he was defending himself (pure scum). she was so upset and told him she was leaving, i paid for her to take a bus to the nearest airport since it was several
hours away and he wouldn’t drive her, i just wanted her home safe. but she didn’t get on the bus. she made up with him and continued the visit like nothing happened. he is definitely her favorite person and it’s just awful to see how he abuses her and manipulates her, it’s just sickening. so today a girl messaged kelly and told her john had been cheating. she doesn’t believe it, but i really do, it’s not the first time and the girl has a really believable story and proof to back it up. kelly is devastated, not that john cheated, but that the girl made it all up- she is completely denying it. i called her and i told her she deserves so much better, that she can come stay with me for however long she wants just so she isn’t dealing with this alone, i told her he doesn’t deserve her. she then told me that i’m “just like everyone else” and that i hate her so i’m trying to sabotage her relationship so that she’s miserable, and then she blocked me on everything 
that’s so far from the truth, she is my family ! i’d die for her. i just don’t know what to do. i’m thinking and desperately hoping she’ll unblock me tomorrow. 
how can i support her? i don’t want her with this abuser. i want her safe. please give me any advice, i’m scared and don’t know what else to do.