I've been all over the place lately. My therapist even told me she hasn't seen me this bad in years. I saw her twice last week because I was such a wreck.

I saw a new psychiatrist on a Tuesday and we're in the process of taking me off Cymbalta and Zoloft and changing me to Lamictal. I've never had a mood stabilizer before. 

So far I feel miserable. I took it Tuesday night (and stopped Cymbalta). Didn't sleep well. I was fine until about 1pm yesterday when all of a sudden it felt like I was really high. I got some lunch but that didn't help. I ended up leaving work.

I got really down last night, couldn't sleep well at all. Woke up this morning with really bad body pain, very very sad, super lonely. I am off work this morning to have a plumber over but I just don't think I have the strength to go in at all today.

How long will this last? I don't want to give up 2 days in. 

My soul aches with sadness and loneliness. I'm wasting my time on a guy who isn't even sure when he'll be in the same state as me again. I'm doing emotional labor for another guy who just last week was suicidal and now is all happy as can be because he had a hookup that went really well. I was trying to plan a birthday lunch for my work best friend but since I'm not there her supervisor (who she hates) has taken credit for it.

I just need to feel better.