There's not a single relationship in which my partner has not lied to me or hid stuff. Most of my friends are not loyal. Family feuds and not having a single happy day in my life has brought me here.

I wish people understood how bad my anxiety is– I get constant nightmares, I struggle to sleep &amp; the past always haunts me. I am always suspicious that someone is lying or hiding something.

I don't think I feel safe in any kind of bond of people anymore. My depression along with this makes me want to die. The only thing that makes me calm down is self harm :-(, because I feel like I need to be punished for not being good enough. It ends the anxiety also.