I believe I am but would like to get a second opinion. This is what I wrote the other night.

I hate this. My mind is a complete mess. I feel nothing but the constant dread and suspicion that EVERYONE is out to get me. That they all have some kind of vendetta against me. When I am thinking rationally, I know that this isn't true but it feels like reality. Not only do I believe they hate me, but I hate them for it. I'm angry, jealous and bitter. I constantly act up in some last ditch attempt to get people to notice me, to get attention. I've become a bit of an expert when it comes to self sabotage. At this moment, I'm burning bridges left, right and center. I'm just making everything worse. I'm pushing everyone away and I don't know how to stop.