I've been seeing her for over 2 years and no matter what I do, I absolutely idolize her and love her. Not in a romantic way but in a "I wish you could be my mom" way. She genuinely tries to help me and has gone out of her way multiple times to do so. One day I called her when I was having a rough time with suicidal thoughts and she even met up with me in a public place to talk. I feel like she is one of the few people in this world that truly cares about me. One time right before I left her office she said "Love you" to me and it makes me happy every time I think about that moment. 

But then I remember, she's my therapist. She isn't my friend. She probably has dozens of other patients she does these same things for. I am not special. She will never be my mom. And that kills me inside. 
