I was thinking back to an argument I had with my last girlfriend where we were pretty much breaking up. I was in her car crying, and it was a pretty heated exchange. And I remember feeling like I was in play. And then I started wondering if I was creating drama just for the effect of drama. Like, am I really crying here or is this just for effect. And the exchange of words felt kind of scripted on the fly.

Because of the feeling of that, I thought maybe the whole thing was fake on some level. That is, my feelings were fake and I was just maybe recreating some drama from the past or something like that. And that made me feel like a total awful person, which made everything worse.

But then today it hit me... I was probably dissociating. The whole feeling of kind of watching the scene unfold while also being in it.... it wasn't that I was faking the emotions, it was probably because I was feeling too much.

Does this sound like the right analysis? I've definitely felt this several times in my life during really high stress moments. If this is dissociation, than its a huge revelation for me. And I'm wondering how I can use that awareness to stop doing that if/when it happens again.

Any thoughts about this are welcome. Thanks.