Ten years ago at age 14 I joined a MLS academy and eventually made it onto the senior team before getting cut at 18 days before Christmas. 



I got a good degree and worked in it then 2 months ago I joined big tech and have been crushed into the biggest depressive state I’ve ever been in. In the last 2 weeks I’ve attempted and unfortunately failed suicide, panic attacks, and more. 



The only thing I have good in my life is my partner. In 6 years I have gone from the potential to be the American Ronaldinho to just another guy whose going to end up in a psych ward. I am miserable and I hate everything about being alive. I wish my mother had shown up to her abortion appointment.