The longer we are together, the harder time I'm having feeling connected to my husband (married 7 years). I feel like I can't trust his word or rely on him (whether or not it's based in reality). I find myself feeling suspicious and less able to feel the "good things". I feel very "flighty" and desperate almost. 

In previous relationships, I was always the one to end them because I no longer felt I could keep up the charade of whatever personality I was putting on, yet I was too uncomfortable with being myself enough to show vulnerability. I commit quickly, we get very serious, then I break their heart. But with marriage, I'm stuck (more or less) being who I truly am, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I've slowly shared more and more of my inner thoughts and he hasn't run away yet. 

I am not officially diagnosed, though my psychiatrist and previous therapist believe I do have BPD traits. Current therapist doesn't want to label me, but I feel very much in limbo without understanding what's going on. I have a very hard time communicating these more complex/abstract thoughts and feelings, especially when they aren't "active" - if I felt a certain way, even strongly, the previous day, I am not likely to remember well enough to articulate them the next. 

Is this a common BPD experience?