In the past two years I have cycled through at least 5 best friends and I talk to none of them anymore because something happened and I either blew up on them or just completely iced them out of my life. 

I feel like my friendships have a shelf life of 6 months before something happens and I feel like they're abandoning me or they do something I can't accept and I decide to stop talking to them. 

I'm going through it AGAIN right now but with a group of people who I'm super close with. What triggered it? We rarely all hang out at the same time because there are 7 of us and we usually hang out with one another either individually or in groups of 2 or 3. 

Well we had made plans to all hang out this past Friday and people were being really weird about picking a place to meet up and I got frustrated and almost started splitting on 6 other people. SIX PEOPLE AT ONE TIME. AHhhhhhhh! It ended up just being me and two others hanging out and crafting together. 

I have been simultaneously frustrated with my response to these minor slights and also thinking, "Oh god does no one want to hang out with me? Am I pathetic that I have no one else outside of this group to hang out with??? Is it because everyone else is seemingly dating someone rn and I am trying to stay single because I can. not. deal with romantic relationships right now?" 

I'm working sooo hard to manage my emotions, but it is so frustrating and exhausting and I just want to be able to have close friendships that last more than 6 months. 


Anyway I just wanted to vent because I almost started splitting AGAIN this morning for no reason beyond someone trying to plan another group hang out and me just being me and anticipating the worst. 

I'm seeing my therapist this evening THANKFULLY.  