I got mono and have now been suffering from mental exhaustion, lack of concentration, anhedonia, derealization, I feel like I’m in an actual dream etc. then I have this stupid chronic bloating that never goes away. It came on slowly over the years and now it’s an everyday thing. I’ve tried everything. I cut out gluten, soy, dairy, corn, tried probiotics, fermented foods, digestive enzymes, ox bile, betaine hcl, cutting out added sugar, more fiber, oxy powder and other things to help me go, moving more. Literally EVERYTHING. I feel so bloated and full all the time even after a little bit of food. I can’t wear want I want, eat what I want, and I hate my stupid body. Everyone tells me it’s going to get better and we are going to find the cause of my bloating and the mental issues from mono are going to go away but I’m really starting to doubt it. I’ve lost track of how many months it’s been feeling like this. I seriously just hate my body for making me feel this way. What if no one can find a cause for my bloating and I have to live with feeling like this for the rest of my life or I’m tired and numb for the rest of my life. I can’t do it. I really don’t want to die but I’m getting sick of this stupid crap and I can’t take watching everyone live their lives eating what they want and feeling joy and energy. WHAT EVEN IS ENERGY ?? I don’t even remember. I just can’t do it. I won’t. I wish I was never born. I really don’t think this crap is going to get any better. And I’m not going to live like this. I refuse to. It’s worse than death. It’s fricken hell. I’m just angry and I can’t stand it anymore.