After 20 years in a different country I moved home almost 3 years ago cause my life had gone to shit due to recession, undiagnosed BPD, sex and drug addiction etc etc.
Now I’ve decided to sell my car and apartment and to get the fuck outta here and move somewhere where no one knows me and start again. I’m 45, HIV +, BPD, Severe Pancreatic Insufficiency - depending on the day and my mood I could take 30 - 40 pills a day.
The reason? My family, they just keep hurting me and I can’t cope with the pain. I feel It’s better to be alone than get hurt by people who are suppose to love you. At least if I leave and stay away - they can’t hurt me anymore.
I know this isn’t rational and there are too many reasons not to do this but I don’t give a fuck.