My girlfriend (26F) and I (22 non-binary) have been dating for 2 months now. When we got official, we were very sexually active and passionate, then things started slow down, as we both started to feel more tired due to external life stuff. Lately, I've been trying to reignite the passion in our relationship (like by sending a really flirty text for example) but failing at it because she's just too tired.

She is already heavily medicated for depression. 2 weeks ago, a tragic event has triggered some past trauma in her and made her depression worse. Now, she sleeps in a lot, goes to sleep very soon and is always tired. As far as I know she's had at least one panic attack again (before her meds helped her to not get those anymore). I don't think that the dose of her antidepressants could be increased anymore without being toxic. She used to go to therapy but stopped seeing her therapist since she moved towns last year and she currently can't afford therapy.

Since her depression has been getting worse, I worry about her and it has made our relationship more difficult. I've had to get used to her being not as emotionally present and sexually not present at all. I know her depression is making things more difficult for her so I do my best to be patient and understanding. I know that life can get hard at any moment, but it sucks that she's already feeling worse when we haven't dated for that long; I thought we would enjoy more good, happy times at the start of our relationship.

A few days ago, it was our 2 month anniversary. She agreed to come over to my place and bake biscuits. But it's the 2nd time now that she didn't show up til 3-4 hours later because she got busy doing things at home and slept in before that. By the time she came over, it was the evening. I lit up candles and put flowers on the bed to make it really romantic. I dressed up in a look that I know she finds really attractive. I sent her a really flirty text that morning and I was hoping we'd have sex for our anniversary. She did dress in sexy lingerie but in the end she just asked if we could lay in bed and cuddle. So in the end that's all we did. I've told her before that I would never force her to do anything she does not want to. In the end, I also felt totally turned off because she didn't want sex.

Then we had dinner. By then, I was getting tired and did not want to bake since it felt too late for that. So we just ended up watching a movie. She slept through half the movie (she had already watched it but wanted to watch it again with me since I didn't see it before). I could tell that she was too tired to do anything. 

It was supposed to be a romantic day but it really did not turn out to be romantic. I felt sad, frustrated and disconnected from her because the day really did not go as planned. So then when the movie ended and she woke up, I just wanted to go to sleep and she could tell I didn't want to cuddle with her (we always cuddle before going to sleep).

I didn't want her to be upset and make her feel worse because I know she's already depressed so I didn't want to talk about my feelings. But after all, she could tell that I was hurt. I did not expect her to say anything, but she said she was sorry and I could tell how sad she felt. It pained me to see her sad so I did my best to reassure her. I finally told her that I think she needs help - I've been wanting to tell her that before but did not find a convenient time to do so. We talked it out healthily and I felt reconnected to her. We cuddled and went to sleep.

I've done a lot of personal research on trauma, childhood traumas and holistic healing. I gave her some useful tips for healing and gave her an anti-anxiety notebook where she can write down her thoughts and feelings when she feels stressed and anxious. I know I can't act as a therapist to her. But I hope what I gave her can help her start to get better again. I hope that maybe we can do healing activities together, like yoga, deep breathing or exercise. I know it would benefit me as well as I suffer from a bit of chronic pain.

I think that based on how constantly tired she is, we're not gonna have sex until she feels better, which might take a long time. I will wait for her to feel better. She's the only person I've had sex with (and my first relationship) and we're monogamous. I've waited years until now to have sex and we haven't dated for long. But now she's too depressed to have sex, and it gets me down. I know sex isn't everything in a relationship, but I've realized it's an important way for me to connect with her. I know we can connect physically in other ways, like massages, cuddling or taking baths together. But I keep wishing that things were back to when we first started dating. I wish she still desired me like back then. But her depression took that away.