Do you guys actually find treatment helpful? Is it better with than without? Therapy and medication sound terrifying. Self medicating with drugs is wearing thin though. I've been smoking weed heavily and drinking occasionally instead of my more harmful addiction but I know it's not sustainable. I've been going through alot lately and it's starting to take its toll. I basically lost my best friend and I've been living in a crazy environment that's stressing me the fuck out. I've been homeless for most of the year and don't have much options for housing besides a shelter and I don't wanna do that. My friend who's not my friend anymore and my sister both have BPD and they both have struggled for years with it. I've been so emotional until a few days ago. Now I'm just disassociating. Scaring my new friends and alienating them and shit. I feel so helpless and it all feels so pointless though.

I guess I'm just looking for an outlet and some support tonight. Sorry for the rant. Love you all.