my psychologist thinks that i have some light/distant form of aspergers and possibly fall under a cluster a personality disorder like schizoid personality disorder. 

i don't feel like i fit these moulds, i don't feel like he understands me or what i am. my emotions towards others will go from lust/jealousy to absolute hatred and spite. it doesn't make sense to me, it's like a switch goes off and i'm a different person. i pick people apart in my head and find everything i can possibly imagine about them that i don't like. i recently broke up with my partner of three years, she wasn't perfect but she wasn't bad either. i never could love her, i'd have strong feelings of desire and attraction at times, but i think these were more physical desires rather than a deep emotional connection. 

i just don't understand anymore, i can relate to just about everything in borderline personality disorder, but i have never really had any fear of abandonment. it's almost like i seek it out even though i sometimes want so badly to be with someone and have a meaningful relationship.

am i making any sense with this? maybe i do have elements of aspbergers, but i really don't feel like that is right label. do some of you lack fear of abandonment?  