The downside of caring more about things and feeling more alive is that now I’m full of restlessness. I keep feeling like I’m making the wrong decisions. For example I got very indecisive while looking for a backpack to buy and I bought one that I later decided was too boring, and I desperately wish I had bought the other one but I have no way of exchanging them now. It is seriously preoccupying me and the backpack seems like a symbol of all the things I want in life. I could put cool pins on it but deep down it will always be the uninspiring backpack that I chose. I am trying to make other decisions in life and I am scared I’ll pick the wrong thing in a bigger picture sense. Help. I seriously can’t let go of this backpack thing...I wonder if anyone else can relate. Is this some kind of BPD thing where unimportant things seem very important because you have a disoriented sense of self?