
I stopped cutting myself for a long time because I didn’t want to make more scars. Been a few years since I did that, and I’m on a waiting list for an organisation that funds tattoo cover-ups, so there was a big incentive not to do it again. That was the only form of physical self-injury I’d ever really done. Then I wanted to SH and decided I would give into the urge because why the fuck not, the future looks bleak. But still didn’t want the scars so I started hitting myself with a hammer instead to make bruises (actually seeing the results of the SH is a big part of it for me, dunno why, so like any pain that doesn’t leave a mark is off the table). 



But tbh the hitting isn’t the same, and the urge is still first and foremost to cut myself. So I figured well I’ll just do it somewhere on my body where no one will see it. I’m fine with people seeing healed scars as my arm is already covered in them, but fresh cuts are different and invite attention/concern. So I thought I’ll just do it at the top of my thigh where I already have some scars. But it just isn’t the same, and I really want to do it on my arm! But it’s too hot for long sleeves. 



I don’t get why it matters where it is! The desire to do it on my arm specifically is just so strong. Maybe because that’s where I always did it for like 10 years? It’s def not about wanting people to see it, because I really don’t. DAE have these very specific SH urges, and other variations on them just don’t cut it (pun not intended, but I like it 😁). 



Please note I’m not looking for advice on how I should do it, nor am I saying I’m going to. Just wondering if anyone else has the same feelings