He’s really the best guy I could have ever asked for, he’s sweet, understanding, consoling and nurturing. He has never yelled at me or ever really been mean to me. I really try to be the best girlfriend I can be, but I don’t feel deserving him. Sometimes I make silly arguments or get jealous or say the wrong thing and he gets quiet and I feel destroyed for hurting him. I love him so much and with him I have come so far in my BPD journey, but sometimes I can’t help but feel like he deserves someone that doesn’t come with all the baggage or the trauma. Sometimes I wonder if I’m supposed to let him loose and find someone who is prettier and stable and is naturally everything I’m fighting to be. I’m fighting to make myself better and to give him what he deserves, but he doesn’t deserve to stand in the middle of it all.