Sometimes I want to explain my feelings of the past, I think is very important because people can learn how to understand and help those in need. 
Sincerely now I’m very happy and it’s easier to talk about my bad times: when I suffered of major depression all was dark, slow and obviously sad. 
I wanted to end my life twice, both ad the train station and both times I was saved by two loved ones. 
The second person was my friend who has got personality disorder, he said “What the fuck are you doing? Do you think you solve your problems like this?”.
After these last two fact I had only another attack of delirium in front of my mother and if I think about it now I become sad, “Mum I want to die, I want to end my life, my head is telling me bad things, I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to listen to it, I can’t take it anymore, I want to kill myself”.
After a wonderful visit to my beloved psychiatrist, everything went well and now I freed you with my beloved lamotrigine, good night!