Today I was able to articulate that I can tell the difference between abandonment feelings that stem from rejection, and abandonment that stems from circumstance. yes, I feel the same feelings. i feel abandoned regardless of the source and my panic button in my brain treats every time someone exits my life as straight up abandonment. 

BUT i am able to acknowledge that someone telling me "i never want to see your crazy ass again" is VERY different from "due to circumstance (distance, timing, etc), i can't see you anymore." making that distinction intellectually is the first step. hopefully i can apply that to in-the-moment situations too one day.