TW
All my life I have heard it gets better just keep going and I kept going holding onto those words and for a short time it did here and there but it always and always went back to the bad and sometimes the really bad people say just get a support system yeah but that doesn’t work for everyone I have had support systems but over time they stop caring and stop wanting to listen and you start to feel like a burden they say your not but you can tell you can always tell and they eventually they just stop all together tired of listening and then your left alone again over time you realize it will never get better and all those people lied the thing you were holding onto for dear life was a lie so you give up but it doesn’t work so you later try again and again and again each time never even close now you tried 5 times but never making it out of this hell you tried medicine and therapy also staying at the hospital none of it working just more trauma you try and talk to your mom who you think is the last person you have but deep down you know she is toxic and she has hurt you so many times you still go to her but all she says let’s go to the hospital because she doesn’t want to deal with you so after you stop going to her because you know what she will say in the end you try and finally heal from your past and cut her out the last person from your past who has hurt you feel good for a day but then just like every time depression comes back so you go to the blade the only thing that seems to work maybe even if it’s just for a hours it’s still better then this you know this is your life we’re you have no one and maybe that’s for the best some people are meant to have friends family who love them and will be there when you need them the most but not you because you realized after looking at your past friendships and relationships your better off alone so now what do you do now do you keep living as you are or do you try again to make things just a little better