Hi Reddit!

For context, I recently went through one of the worst depressive episodes of my life triggered by family stuff. Had to quit my job, I didn't leave my room for over two weeks. I stopped cleaning my room, changing my sheets and instead of doing these things I started sleeping in our spare bedroom for another two weeks. 

In the two weeks I slept in the spare bedroom I didn't even go into my room, my cats pretty much started occupying it as their bedroom, lol. When I finally felt okay enough to start cleaning up (with my amazing partner's help), doing laundry, folding clean clothing, etc. I noticed a small bug on my mattress, called my partner in and behold - a bedbug. 

I immediately started to panic, I kept having these thoughts that it was my fault this happened? I work from home and never leave the house, it would almost have been impossible for me to bring them home. Our building is absolutely disgusting, run down, typically slumlord bull. Realistically, the lack of care put into our building is probably why they spread. Our unit is extremely clean. We stayed in a hotel for a week which cost a lot, I argued over email with my landlord trying to get him to pay for the hotel stay and he said I made the problem worse because we bought spray from a local hardware store to contain the issue.

They ended up coming in and spraying our unit, but I got an email last night saying that there was no sign of them in the unit. I sent pictures proving them, and still the stupid landlord doesn't believe me. It's too expensive being in a hotel so after treatment we came back home, and now I cry 3x a day. The mess everywhere from having to remove all linens is overwhelming, the fear of these bugs is eating me alive. I am terrified to touch anything. It feels like my home is constantly attacking me and I don't know how to live like this. We're trying to move out but I'm convinced they're everywhere. I can't help but feel like it's my fault, but they showed up in a bed that was unoccupied for two weeks, it is super unlikely that our unit was infested, or maybe we caught its beginnings? 

How do I go back to normal? I'm constantly crying and feel like I can't move forwards. Anyone who's experienced something similar or wants to chime in, please, I'm desperate to hear someone's opinion.