So when we first started out I thought he also had a high sex drive. He would initiate all the time, couldn't keep his hands off me. He said he liked it as much as I do. As time went on I started initiating all the time and he seemed really distant, not wanting much sexually, and when I did, he just brushed it off with a lot of excuses, I'm stressed, tired, not in the mood etc. One day I sat him down and had a long talk. He said that sometimes he was actually stressed and tired, but a lot of the times it was due to my mood. He said that I can be very sad, angry and down sometimes and mean to him. And while my moods change quickly, if I was like that during a day, his mood was affected and even if I changed into a happier mood, he was stuck in the sad mood I put him in for the day, thus killing his sex drive. He basically said 'How can you expect me to be in the mood when you've berated me all day'. 


After that day I got some realization I got into DBT books and started working on not being mean to him and pushing him away when I felt angry or sad. Instead I opened up to him about feeling that way and tried my best to not give in to my impulses. I thought I was doing better and he confirmed that I was too. But even then his sex drive is not back to where we had started. The period where I worked on myself was when I had to be away for a month, and when I came back he saw that I was much better and things immediately improved for the next 2 weeks. It was like a honeymoon phase all over again. Now, it's back to brushing me off with excuses. I'm sure I'm still good to him, because I let him know that if I ever go back to that state, he should tell me. And I've been feeling good. I don't know anymore because I thought I had solved it already. 

It's really affecting my moods. I was doing well but now whenever he rejects my advances it's a huge blow to my moods and self esteem. It's also driving me paranoid that there's stuff he's hiding from me. He told me the problem, I'm trying my best to fix it (I was actually doing great too). What could be the root of this issue? I think about this every night in bed and try not to cry at this point.