A few months ago my partner of three years was diagnosed with BPD. As is common in situations of the type that I'm in, the entire relationship has been a roller coaster from the start, and one which nearly derailed entirely before her diagnosis when the news came out that she had been unfaithful with me on multiple occasions (and with multiple people). I forgave her, and we started afresh in another city. 

A month into our new life, there have been a few improvements, but our relationship is much the same as it was before, minus the physical violence. She is still incredibly fearful of abandonment, yet acts in such a volatile and maddening way that it makes me leave/hang up the phone mid row almost every time that we do. She is unrelentingly critical and unforgiving of my behaviour, whilst taking almost twice as long to admit fault in her own. 

Obviously, when things are great, they really are, otherwise I wouldn't be doing this, but I'm nearly at my wits end dealing the constantly elevated stress levels - and being a fairly dismissive/avoiding type myself I feel as though I'm taking double the brunt, although I understand that it may be contributing to my problems a good deal.

Can anyone offer any advice?
