i’ve been waiting MONTHS for a tiny little bit of mental health help, and it’s soon looking like somethings gonna come out of it all and i’ll be able to move forward and start recovery... but just cause i’m waiting doesn’t mean bpd is! i’ve lost so many friendships in this endless waiting period for therapy and i’m seriously considering self medicating with benzos to get a break....

i do journal but that only goes so far to help. and while i could call a helpline i find that they make me ruminate so i’m getting on the phone with one crisis and leaving with another.