I'm new to knowing about BPD so I dont know if rage is the right term but that's what it feels like. A blood boiling, uncontrollable anger that comes from nowhere and is so strong I feel like I'm not even part of the decision making process. Idk. Maybe this isnt the same for others but I genuinely scare myself when I rage. I dont feel like me. I dont feel in control of me. And the things I am capable of doing in that state terrify me. I have made people cry in fear, I've had to be physically restrained, I've lost countless relationships as a result. I literally feel insane. Like I should be in a placed in a facility where I am locked away, wearing a straight jacket and dosed up on tranquilizers. And it terrifies me. To the point I am scared of myself. 

Anyway, I guess my main questions from this come down to: Does anyone else feel the same? If so, how do you defuse your rage so that you dont hurt people? Or how do you stop yourself getting into that state in the first place?