It’s hard to try to stay positive when I wake up depressed most days. Depression runs in my family and I lost my mom to suicide a couple years ago  when I was 18. I don’t find anything funny like other people when I’m in social settings and people are laughing. I rarely genuinely smile it’s usually forced and awkward when I do . I don’t want to talk to people most the time and I don’t know how to fit in even though I long for friends. I have no friends and I feel stuck in a not so good relationship (it’s complicated). Life is hard.