I am somewhat concerned about my own status, and that of my wife. I display a lot of signs of BPD, but so does she. And I know that my history of such behaviors (Abandonment panic, black and white thinking, ect) predate the relationship. 

Both of us are resistant to seeking help or even diagnosis, myself because of my legal career, my wife because of a custody issue from a prior relationship. Our fear is that it could also affect things with our youngest child.

I mean, on one hand neither of us has ever been hospitalized, but aside from that there’s a lot of signs that we could both be, or one of us is, BPD, albeit on the quiet end of the scale. 

But everything I read says that this would be unusual, and that two BPD people hardly ever get into a relationship, and if they do, it doesn’t last.