So I used to abuse chlorpheniramine (stupid I know) and one day I forgot how much I took and I went into this state where I forget I took a pill and kept taking too much I ended up overdosing (took 20-30 pills in total)
I had hallucinations then convulsions then a seizure. I was aware of it the whole time. Then I was magically better like nothing happened. But ever since I've been having unbearable anxiety that I'm gonna have a seizure again. I have anxiety taking any medication and I read the side effects over and over again. I have trouble breathing and I always feel like I'm dying and I'm scared to die. It's been 5 years and it still hasn't gotten any better. I'm scared to take psyche meds cause I don't wanna develop another dependency issue also I'm really scared of side effects even though I know it's irrational. I never had severe anxiety like this before my overdose. I struggled with depression but it wasn't like this. It's honestly very annoying cause people can tell I'm not doing well and I have no idea how to stop it. I'm constantly grabbing my chest cause I feel like I can't breath despite nothing being wrong with me. 
How do I deal with this? :(