is this it? that's all there is now? us never talking, but memories stuck in our head. walking around town just to see each other and then turn our heads, hoping we don't have to interact. me reading through our old texts, looking at those old pictures, visiting the places where we used to be together. that rooftop and that park and the smoking corner where i kissed you for the first time. sometimes i look at the places where i held you and i just wanna break the ground underneath it. you left. like i was a no one. like you never had told me that you promised to stay, like you never told me you loved me more than anything. like i just was another one of your entertainers. you have no idea how shattered i am. i can't even eat properly, sleeping is out of the question, i never meet up with anyone, i cry multiple times a day, i barely take care of myself. i want you back. your raisin eyes and dark brown hair, the smell of your cologne left on your hoodie, your deep voice, the feeling of resting my head on your shoulder, your arms around me as i sit on your lap and just... you. i wanna kiss you again, i wanna tell you i love you, i wanna kiss your neck and watch pewdiepie videos together as your hand goes up and down on my waist. i wanna fall asleep in your arms and wake up just the same. i wanna smoke cigarettes with you and then run from security/police. i want to take you to vintage second hand stores and buy you whatever you want. i wanna run my fingers through your hair and admire your pretty face as i smile. i don't want to cry on the streets where i felt so happy that i thought i was in heaven, i don't want to stay up till 4 AM with our chat open, wondering if you'd reply if i texted you. it hurts to know I'll never hear you say "i love you" again, at least not to me. i'll never feel your hands on my back, i'll never kiss you again, i'll never get overly happy because of you again. it's all over. nothing can change that. you wouldn't take me back but that's okay. I'll still wait for you. even if i'll wait forever.