It's summer where I live and I'm forced to wear clothes that show at least my arms because it's 90 degrees and I don't want to sweat and look ridiculous. But I hate my looks. I hate how my clothes fit, I hate how my body feels, I hate to think that people see me every day from different angles.

I'm 22 now, I thought that by now I would be over this but apparently I'm not. I struggled with eating disorders through my adolescence and even tried to take my own life over this uncomfortable feeling of inadequacy.

Lately I've had multiple different situations where I have been proven that people DO pay close attention to me and also I've had situations where I'm either directly or indirectly told that I'm ugly. 

I'm just so tired of this, I've gone to therapy for years and it doesn't ever stop. And it's so stupid, people have real reasons to have depression but meanwhile I'm here whining over this.
That too makes me feel bad, I'm not only ugly but also dumb. 

I want to self harm again but that would only make me more self conscious because of the scars lmao