22M. I felt disconnected from humanity my whole life, pure loneliness, social phobia. I have not felt happiness in years, nothing interests me at all, i stay home, no school or job due to mental illness. Antidepressants didn't work. I want to start doing drugs just to feel better, otherwise what's the point? Too weak to kill myself, too weak to live. Trapped in torment. I hate everything about myself but cannot escape my broken brain. I need an escape.