Hi, I hope you could help me. Give me some insight.

I'm in love with someone who thinks he has BPD (the quiet one). We've had a roller-coaster of a relationship for the past seven years. We even have a son together. The problem is that we've never really, truly, being in a relationship. He never wanted to start one with me. 

He would leave me and the come back and this happened many times. He left me for the final time 3 years ago and almost immediately started a relationship with someone else. I was gutted since he kept telling me for years that he wasn't ready for one. 
And in the end he ended up cheating her with me.

This year he came back but he left again. Unfortunately (although I am truly happy) I got pregnant again.

This year he was finally ready to admit to me that the reason he never got together with me is because, even though in the beginning he truly did have feelings for me, the past several years he had only imagined that he had feelings for me. That he thought he liked me but he actually didn't. That even now he has these moments when he thinks he has feelings for me but he knows that he doesn't. He has finally realized this this year.

I'm just so heartbroken. Still he keeps saying I'm the person closest to him, the one he trusts the most and the one he can be his most genuine self with. He tell me I'm the only one who he can show his "bad side" or the side that he usually hides from others and that's why he's sometimes mean and emotionally abusive. He says he cares for me and I'm important, but still I'm the only one he ever treats badly. I'm the one who get the silent treatment and the disappearances. I'm the one who gets to be ignored if he's actual friends suggest something. Can't even remember the times he used to stood me up (or our son) if one of his friends suggested they do something.

My question, maybe, is that have you ever, as a person with BPD, experienced thinking you like someone when in reality you don't really like the?