For as long as I remember, I've had an issue creating a stable personality for myself. It's the worst symptom I have of my BPD. For example, I'll just absorb other personalities of other people through osmosis and not actually have my own personality. Depending on the situation I just agree with others to avoid conflict. My personality issues and identity manifest heavily in terms of my faith, cultural identity, sexual and gender identity. For my faith, I converted to Islam twice and ghosted the mosques I converted to. I've been to a Buddhist temple, Jewish synagogue, and multiple different churches ranging from Eastern Orthodox to Baptist. No religion brings me peace. As for cultural identity, I've always been obsessed with history and different cultures. Trying to learn different languages and get "out" of what I see as a boring pasty stale white American identity with no culture. I've tried learning every tongue on the face of the planet, from Vietnamese to Portuguese. I don't want to be the race and culture I was born with. As for gender identity and sexual identity, a lot of my mind was warped by porn and the ideal body image. If I see anyone remotely not good looking I cringe. That includes myself. 

If I can sum this all up, why should I have to continue living in a world of imperfections, blights, and stains? I overthink and overanalyze everything. I'm 25 and going on 26 in June and these thought patterns are affecting my school work, my job, and my family life living with my elderly parents. I don't know what to do anymore.