The difference between a crush and an fp is hard for me to distinguish. At the beginning of May, I started to be super into this girl (let's call her L) without notice. 

To give some insight, we went to Tuscany with our class, starting May first for a full week. My major is photography 

My interest in L magically spiked on May first. Which is normal, all of us can have that. That doesn't mean it's an fp. But I kept trying to subtly get closer to her. We drank and had some small talk. She taught me how to smoke. I have been unconsciously including her in a lot of my pictures. Saturday, the day before we left, I was talking to my friend about how I like girls and have never kissed one and then L jumped in and asked me if I wanted one (a kiss) I agreed to it and we kissed. 

All of this sounds like a crush but the second we returned to our country and school (May 9th) everything kind of started to spiral. She has been on my mind about 24/7, I even bought a pack of cigarettes so I can have smoke breaks with her. Whenever she's not giving me attention, I get extremely mad and I feel addressed by every little thing she does. I feel like ever since the kiss (which I think meant nothing to her) she has been spiraling around me without talking to me. Which before she never did. Anyway, I was planning on cutting the leash off of her camera, given it's an official off-white one I knew it's expensive. My friend talked me out of it. In between my violent muttering of how much I wanna hit and kick her to the curb, I have been nothing but heart eyes around her. the past few days I have been extremely fidgeting and planning out new ways to be around her, catch her attention, talk to her, whatever. A few days ago I started crying and hyperventilating because her close friend texted me. I'm still not sure if this is an fp or not but if it is then please give me some tips to get rid of it or at least act normal around her.  


Sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes and thank you in advance for reading this and replying