I just realised I have kind of dysmorphophobia, which is that I can't look myself in a mirror, but to be precise it is only when I'm with someone else.
I did a diet. Lost 15kg. Like myself when I'm alone, but feel like the hunchback of notre Dame when I'm with friends and see a reflection of myself.
No therapist whatsoever talked to me about the existence of this thing. I just discovered it was a "thing". The best advice I had from a therapist is that I should just "forget about it and move on".

I'm alone. A wizard if you use Internet terms. I know I won't get more strength all by myself with the months coming. I have no idea how I can overcome this. I know how someone else can do that, though. 
Just a crush's hug would heal me so much but hey, you can't ask someone for that.