After months of ongoing therapy and trying new meds, I just feel numb in my day to day life. 
Recently I have started a few new things, new job, made new friends, new hobbies, rekindling a sexual relationship with my ex. All of these things are supposed to make me feel good? Happy? But I feel like I’m coasting.

I’ve had an internal struggle all of my adult life to just accept myself for who I am (BPD being a part of my life) or manage it to the point where I am now (being numb) to accommodate the feelings of my loved ones. It’s hard and it hurts knowing I can’t be who I am because it causes my loved ones more harm than good.

Thanks for listening.