My mother has BPD. She’s never been formally diagnosed but my whole family recognizes she’s really been struggling the past few years. We all are trying so hard to help her and support her. Problem is, from what I’ve read it seems one of the most important steps is for the individual to acknowledge that the disorder is a part of their lives. My mother is in complete denial that anything could be less than perfect about herself (seeing in black and white) and she constantly blames everyone and everything else in her life and ends up pushing people away. 

I love my mom very much. I want nothing more than to see her living her life to the fullest. But how do I guide her to a place where she could accept a diagnosis without it damaging our relationship? I believe she is seeing a therapist from time to time, but I doubt this has ever come up. Is it appropriate for me to reach out to her therapist to inform her of what we think is going on or no? How can I help her? What helped you? Any ideas or insights very much appreciated. 