Hi everyone. So, I have never gotten a real break from school, and everyone who knows me closely or has spoken to me about my issues believes it is a **huge** contributing factor to my anxiety. I had anxiety while completing my first bachelor's degree, but always found it manageable and went through a period of time where I didn't have panic attacks anymore. I found school tiring and annoying, and definitely went through some stressful experiences, but I was still able to participate in my hobbies, stay in touch with my close friends, go out places, and find things to look forward to and have fun. I finished all of my classes with As and graduated with a 4.0.

Right after finishing my first degree, I went back to school in order to get a second bachelor's degree in a totally unrelated field. I enjoy the field I'm currently studying more than my first degree, but I feel like no matter what school I'm at or what subject I'm studying, anxiety follows me everywhere. The thing is, I had burn out from my first degree and never got to fully recover from it before starting this degree. I am also finding this degree more challenging because it's going at a faster pace. Also while completing this degree, I have had a lot of awful experiences happen to me (mom got into an accident, had a grandparent die, had another grandparent's health get much worse, dealt with stalking from an abusive man, put up with toxic friends, and more). My health has gotten worse, too, and my doctors believe some of it is related to anxiety, which I can definitely believe. I know I would likely still have these health issues even without my anxiety but the anxiety definitely makes things worse and can feel like the final straw when I'm already going through a particularly painful flare-up day.

For a very short period of time, I had a job, but 1 - my mom didn't want me to keep working there (she thought it was a "pathetic"/"low-class" job and didn't want me to get stuck working there forever, which I know sounds very stuck-up, but that's her mindset, not mine, and she is very strict and traditional) and 2 - the job had some aspects to it that I personally didn't like (I had to work with very young kids at times which is not ideal for me since I don't like dealing with little kids, but I could tolerate it). Even though my mom didn't approve of my job and it wasn't my ideal place to work at either, I preferred it over school since I was getting paid, I felt like I had a sense of purpose and responsibility, and best of all, I didn't have to bring assignments back home and study like you have to as a student. Right now, I am having to pull an all-nighter because of the assignments I have due this week (one of the things school has negatively impacted the most has been my sleep habits, as well as my eating habits and just lifestyle in general).

I'm finishing the last courses for my current degree remotely since the pandemic is still really bad in my area. However, it feels like the work never ends. Every time I finish one assignment, there's another I have to do, and in between taking care of my disabled mom and grandma and having to manage my own health, I feel super overwhelmed at all times.

Since it feels like school is one of my main anxiety triggers right now, I am really hoping that once I graduate, it'll feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can get a handle on my life better. I know my health still won't be perfect, but like I mentioned before, anxiety is one of the things that makes my health feel worse, and if school is contributing a lot to my anxiety, then maybe finishing school will mean that my health can improve, even if it's just by a little bit. I know there will be other struggles ahead of me like finding a job and maybe a different place to live, but I think anything would be an improvement over school. Plus, I feel like I deserve a break after this since I've never gone on any kind of celebratory vacation before (I didn't celebrate my high school graduation or my graduation from my first degree; aside from the brief time I spent working, I've always jumped right back into taking classes... no special trips, parties, or anything of that nature before).

Do you think it's realistic to believe that finishing school will help ease some of my current anxiety? And do you have any encouragement or positive stories you could share with me? Thank you.