I hate these times when I don’t feel sad or want to cry constantly in my depression cause I feel, for a time as okay as I can be but I’m always worried because they depression lulls do come and ruin everything I self sabotage, ruin my grades in my classes pull away and I’m tired of it at some point I feel like doing it doing it with out meds is harder and I regret not taking the anti-depressants when my doctor offer them to me cause I might feel way better. All in all I’m just tired of feel I’m not suicidal never could when i made attempts before but I’m just tired and need to say that and get this off my chest