I don't know what to do to fill my days when i have free time, i literally just sleep all day and eat whenever I'm off work. Honestly, work is the only thing to look forward to in my life, sad as that is. A major problem is that I was socially isolated for the past 9 years. For the past 9 years I've barely left my house. And in all that time I've lost friends obviously, lost hobbies and interests. I literally had 9 years of nothing BUT free time. I was free to do whatever I wanted, I have nothing to show for it though. Didn't learn any new skills or meet people or go to new Interesting places. Even during my neet status i had periods where nothing was enjoyable. That's how i am right now. Everything seems so boring. Latest movies and tv shows on streaming services are garbage. I'm not interested in going to dumb museums or art galleries or taking a walk or going to the gym like people always suggest. I don't know what i want to do and that makes me not do anything. I feel like life is pointless. Like there is no point in doing any hobby because i'm going to die anyway and be forgotten. Nothing is enjoyable, nothing is interesting enough to make me want to continue it. It's very easy for me to start something but extremely difficult to finish it, because it feels like there's no point in finishing it. I'm scared of the future of my life. All I see is emptiness and loneliness in the future. No hobbies or people to love me. Who would be interested in me when I'm not interested in anything? I'm such a boring person. I look decently attractive, I've been told, so people often speak to me because i 'look pretty' but when they figure out how vapid and boring I am, they lose interest quickly and stop talking to me. I wish I could change my personality so much. And how would I explain not leaving my house for 9 years? This fact is like a deep, dark secret for me. I don't want anybody to find out I was a neet. It's so embarrassing and shameful, I don't think anyone would understand. A lot of people were forced into isolation due to the pandemic but  they wouldn't understand someone like me who kinda chose to live that way, and for almost a decade at that. It's like a secret I want to take to my grave. I even started lying about my age so it seems less suspicious that I've done barely anything in my life. I'm 27 and people expect me to have accomplished so much, but I lie and say I'm 20 so people have less expectations. At 20 you're still young, figuring things out, and people are more lenient with you. I hate living such an empty, meaningless life, but i dont know what to do about it. I hate watching tv now, hate reading, hate movies, hate drawing and writing, hate video games, hate going places. There is no joy in my life whatsoever. I wish I was dead :'(