When people don't react the way I want them to, I feel like they don't want me to be around. This in turn makes me bottle up a nasty heartbreak. I tell my self not to take it as seriously, and even brush it off sometimes (at least think til I burst). But I end up doing it anyways, and end up devaluing them, so they end up practically out of my life. I know I can't control people and I want to respect their boundaries but I have too many needs sometimes. Add that with people pleasing, and I jump from one extreme to the other. And if I ever told anyone this, they would call me controlling. This makes me feel evil, and worthless. It's just a constant cycle I can't beat, and makes me feel like no one understands or cares. I hate this so much, it tears apart my friendships. Where is the middle ground?