For about half an year now, everything is going bad. None of my plans I was so excited about happened. Everything keeps falling apart, my job makes me feel like a worthless failure and I can't afford to get an unpaid internship for experience, because I have bills and rent to pay ( not that anyone hired me for one, when I was in university). It's been bad for quite a while now, but in the last few months it's awful. Honestly, I'm tired of feeling like a useless, unwanted excuse for a human.
 The last time I felt truly happy was 10 years ago (not kidding, I actually remember the date and it will be 10 years in 2 days lol). I'm not sure I even want to keep living anymore. How does one get out of this rut?