Ever since I was 12, I have obsessed over people (it’s usually one person a year, and is always someone of the opposite sex who I’m sexually and romantically attracted to). I find that when I have someone to focus on, it’s almost like I have a protective bubble around me, and it allows me to kind of ‘check out’ of bad situations. If I feel unsafe/insecure, all I need to do is cyberstalk whoever I’m currently obsessed with, or fantasise about them hugging me/doing sexual things with me, and it makes me feel safe and loved. I also become interested in their friends and family.

Sometimes I have ‘emotional flashbacks’ to unpleasant past situations, and I find that listening to music or watching films that somehow remind me of my ex, or re-reading our texts, is the best things to make me feel safe and okay. 

I wonder if anyone here can relate. I’m waiting to be assessed by a professional.