Everything I do or say it feels cringe to me unless it's dialogue so good that it feels like it's ripped out of a movie. I can't bear to say "normal person things" because my bpd sees them as cringy and bad.

But, okay. I can somehow bear that. However when I get drunk I literally find everything I say as extremely cringe. And it's not even that I say anything as cringe when I am, objectively, because everyone else around me is equally drunk and passionate. 

Seeing myself as this embodiment of cringe honestly ruuns my perception of myself. I hate myself for other reasons, but this is the biggest one. I'll literally spiral into uncontrollable thoughts of being cringe, I won't be able to sleep because of it, I lose all my confidence... 

I'd really appreciate some advice or at least anyone who can relate.