I finally text the person I've been idealizing for the past 2 months, and while she was extremely pleasant, it didn't make me feel less empty or lost at all. 

Of course I didn't tell her that, because it's not her fault and I don't want to make her feel powerless. 

I'm just so tired of existing as me and being forced to wander through this labyrinth in my head. 

Just so tired. 