He's stuck with me through more than I can explain.

I'm needy, I'm greedy, I'm full of self-loathing, even when I get everything I want I still find more to want and feel bad about, I'm manipulative, I feel like I'll never be happy with myself.

When I'm with him, I'm happy. Not 24/7 clearly. No one is. But he makes me really, truly happy. He makes me believe I can be anything I want and that someday I can really love myself and my life.

But there's only so much a person can take. There's only so long that someone will put up with someone's bullshit before they give up. Everyone gives up eventually.

Most of the time I truly believe he wants to be with me forever but each time I mess up I think "This is it. Another piece to the puzzle. Soon he'll wise up and he'll leave me. He will finally decide he's had too much."

I wish I could stop feeling like this.