This is kind of a vent post so be warned, but I also just want some advice!

Maybe it sounds like i'm being dramatic but then again I'm sure you guys understand how hard it is to have BPD and how easy it is to get triggered and upset. My FP hasn't texted me back in a couple of hours but is making so many posts on social media and interacting with their friends. I know it sounds dumb, but like I asked if they were upset at me since I couldn't tell (because I mean, any person would feel like someone is mad at them if it feels like they're being ignored right?) and they still haven't responded but are still posting. It's making me so anxious that I started sobbing and its still so early in the morning to have to deal with this. What do I do? I feel so hurt and now I just want to not reply to them for hours if they even get around to replying.

I even joked about it with them on social media and they joked back, so I can't tell if they really just hate me or don't want to talk or what. How do I stop crying and feeling anxious and deal with these feelings? It's making me want to die honestly.