I feel like my life has absolutely zero purpose or value, like it never has. I have no motivation to do anything productive especially if it means taking care of myself. I’m constantly pushing away the few who try to talk to me because i’m bitter and hurt that my fp has abandoned me and I don’t even want to try to talk to anyone else. I wake up everyday and the strongest emotion I feel daily is guilt. Constant fcking guilt. I didn’t plan on being alive this long so I messed up my life as a teenager and now I have no sense of direction and no idea what to do with myself. I don’t work, I don’t go to school, I don’t have friends, I don’t take care of myself... because i’m constantly telling myself “what’s the purpose?”. I just want life to finally end. I so desperately just want to never wake up. Nothing makes me happy anymore, my favorite video games, music, people, all the things I use to distract myself with are now so overused that I get zero enjoyment. I’ve tried picking up other hobbies and it never works. I say I need a friend but I don’t know how long I can keep up with it without ghosting them.. another thing to feel guilty for. I hate myself so much.