I hate myself so much. All I can think to ask is "why was I made this way?". I have autism, generalized anxiety, bipolar disorder w/ psychotic depression, and social anxiety, and I am probably in a phase rn, but it's hard to get out of a depression like this one. I have social anxiety mostly due to autism, because I don't know what I'm like to other people, (e.g. I can't see myself from the point of view of someone who is talking to me); I have lost too many good friends by just realizing that they never respond to my texts anymore, or by accidentally saying something they were too sensitive about, and I hate that I have no way to predict those events and/or prevent them. I also have so much anxiety about how I've treated people while I was in an abnormal mood state, or things that I had to do, or things that I did as a result of trauma. I don't know how to get rid of that anxiety and constant replaying of all of the worst mistakes I made, or worst things I did.