I have a good friend who lives out of state. We talk on the phone weekly, text almost daily, and before Covid, about 3-4 times a year, they would visit. 
After 2 years we meet up, once for lunch which was difficult and recently for half a day. It was excruciating. I couldn’t enjoy the fact that I was seeing them after two years. It took hours before I felt comfortable enough to enjoy what was happening. I am scared this is going to happen on every visit. Should I share this with them or keep trying?