I know it’s such an incredibly selfish thing to think about. I don’t want to kill my self (at least I think I don’t?) but I just want a break. Like a looong break or journey to realize that happiness was always there or something. Idk it’s hard to put into words. I feel like that “journey” will never come because I am so self aware and my mind literally won’t let me think beyond feeling miserable. Anyway I just am looking for peoples vices? Like legitimately what keeps you holding out for tomorrow? I need suggestions because I honestly can’t find anything other than eating and knowing I would ruin lives of those around me if I just stopped everything. Sorry to sound so dramatic.