Everything seemed fine, I saw him on the Thursday we had an argument on Wednesday but sorted it out and everything seemed okay and he stayed over, in the morning he was happy and was going to see his friend and then I was meant to see him later that day.

There was nothing suspicious, normally I can tell if anything if wrong or off but everything seemed fine. I don’t hear from him for a while until he calls me around 8, apologising for not messaging me and he had transferred some money to the wrong bank account and was sorting that out all day. He then goes on to say that he probably wouldn’t be able to talk to me much tonight as he was going to try and talk to his parents about it. I send him some texts asking how things are going, no reply. This was weird and I should have noticed from his call that he wasn’t okay. 

Fast forward it’s Saturday around midday and get a text from my SO dad asking to call me. Immediately i know something is wrong. I call and his dad tells me how my boyfriend had taken 3 Xanax and tried to kill himself and how they were in hospital. Obviously very upset and shocked I rush there and see him. His parents leave us for a while to talk I know it would be a lot for him to tell me why he did it so I don’t ask but ask if he knows whether it was the Xanax or if he had intent, ( he has trouble with Xanax before and overdosed last September) he replied saying he didn’t know and he just changed the subject.  I spent the night with him in hospital trying to keep it like a normal day, he wasn’t himself but he seemed okay and we made various jokes and laughed throughout the night. He stayed in hospital yesterday, I had to leave because it was my dads birthday but he had his family with him, he had a psychiatric review today and they have asked him to come back In later this week and also to start therapy, he has been let out and I’m seeing him in a while. 

I understand that with bpd your mood can change so drastically and quickly and everything he feels he feels to an extreme but I don’t understand what changed from the happy boy I saw Friday morning and him attempting suicide later that day. 

I love him so much and I just want him to be safe and understand he has so many people that love him and care about him. It’s just a lot to take in and I finding it very hard to process.

I just needed to vent and tell someone even if it is as an Anonymous reddit account.

