I honestly can't take much anymore.. I'm trying to keep what friends I've got but it's always so one sided and anytime I try to join groups like they want me to I always feel like an outcast every single time... I just want that one friend that actually cares.. All I've ever get is bad luck when it comes to friends and to make matters worse irl problems too. Which I won't get into every single detail but I feel so alone it's unreal. I stay depressed aren't even motivated to do much of anything. I worked for over a month without getting paid anything. It's rough for me I tell ya. I haven't had any irl friends for years. That even gets to me a lot. I'm not great at socializing but online I can talk and keep conversations. I even try to be positive so my negative side doesn't keep others away but idk I feel like what I do isn't good enough and people that don't care always gets it better then us kind people it's ridiculous and unfair... I'm so sick of it... So I've thought about cutting again so might just do it to see if it helps like it did last time....