My life should be fine, I'm fortunate enough to be in a good household with amazing parents and siblings who I love dearly, but I don't even know anymore. I have never had the urge to hurt myself nor have I had this many suicidal thoughts in a while but tonight it just feels terrible. I feel so distant from all my friends at school as they all do stuff without me but then act like I'm still their friend "oh why don't you sit with us anymore" but whenever I do they just make fun of me for being a loser. Stuff like that. I just really hate myself, I hate my face, body, social skills, and just my entire personality. I feel weird typing this out as I've never told anyone else about my feelings and they just think I'm weird probably. My life shouldn't even be bad but I just can't stand myself and wish I was anyone else or was at least able to hold a conversation with the people I used to enjoy spending my time with. I hope I'll be fine but if life feels this shit while I'm in a seemingly good spot makes me wonder if life is worth living on. I'm too scared to kill myself though so I hope it gets better. First time on this reddit idk what im supposed to do but I just needed to let it all out somewhere. Thanks.