I have been struggling with the memory aspect of it! I know there is a trauma there, even if it wasn’t as major as some people, and I remember it happening, over and over, and how awful it was, and I know it effects me daily. However when I try to process it in EMDR, and my therapist asks me to bring the memory to mind, it’s more like a verbal narrative, or if I can hold the image in my head, just a movie, but I don’t feel anything bad no matter what the memory is. I thought this was true for everyone? But apparently not. 

Then I started to think about how this is always true for me, with bad memories or just any type of memory. If it’s in the past it’s like it doesn’t exist. It goes back to object constancy I think. I wonder if the reason I’m struggling with EMDR has less to do with dissociation and more to do with a lack of object constancy (the people in the memory aren’t real). It also explains why I can’t feel anything talking about my bad memories with my therapist, but the present trigger of my therapist as a person in the here and now is causing me extreme anxiety. I live so fully in the present. 

Thoughts? just a theory and likely you will have had a different experience.