Im so god damn tired of trying, trying to get better, to enjoy life, to be positive. I give up to this illness, i cant being myself anymore, there is no words to express how much i hate myself.

Im tired of trying to understand this world and the people here, why would an adult abuse sexually of a kid, why kids would hurt another to the point of breaking him beyond repair, to spit on his face and make him feel worthless and non stop stupid everyday.

This world scare me, and i get sick everytime i wake up into this endless nightmare, i always knew since i was 15 that i would end it all one day and im done now.
I guess the reason im writing this here is because i deleted all my social media time ago and havent talked to anyone i know in real life in a couple of months and people here reading my last words will make me feel less alone in this moments. 

I always have tried to be a good person but i know i havent be able to be my best self.

Im sorry if i was disrespectul to anyone here, i really am and i hope everyone can find the peace and happiness we all deserve. 
Probably will get deleted or i dont know but right now it will exist for a brief moment, just like me. 

Thank you. 