I haven't actually eaten a meal in almost 5 days. I feel horrible, but I cannot bring myself to eat. Something happened a couple days ago that triggered me being upset, and usually I don't eat when im upset; but I am literally starving and now every time I think to eat something 1 out of 2 things happen. I either 1: think about the food I want to eat, and trick myself into it being gross (texture, greasyness, etc) or 2. I saw this random reddit post that said "if you are trying to lose weight, and you feel like eating, tell yourself 'ill eat later' and your body likes the word 'later' instead of 'no'." im not even really trying to lose weight, but every time I feel my stomach growl I just tell myself later and I won't eat. I am literally procrastinating on eating. So yeah that trick works wonders for anyone actually trying to lose weight but I am not doing good. It wont kill me to lose a couple pounds, but I am so dizzy, and I feel like fainting. I dont want to see a doc or go to therapy because paying (or having my parents pay for it for me) makes me feel like such a burden as I've already been through the whole counseling/therapy nonsense before. I've forced myself to eat a bowl of fruit, some chick peas with lettuce, and a spoon of peanut butter. The fruit bowl was the worst, had to stop half way and take a break because I just couldn't do it. It didn't taste bad, I just hate the thought of eating. I want to make a smoothie but I keep telling myself "later" and I keep believing it. I literally feel so stupid but I cannot get out of this loop.

Anyways again, really dont want to go to doctor or therapy (not likely that will happen anyways). So I need tips on how to force myself to eat something even if it is small.