I don’t mean this as a brag at all.  I’m just so confused.  I feel unhappy yet there is nothing wrong with me.  I don’t feel bad or really numb.  I feel a little empty, but not too bad.  I don’t feel angry or sad or happy.  But I wouldn’t really say I feel numb.  Just stuck at neutral.  

I don’t struggle much in life.  Sure, I don’t have friends, but it’s not a big deal.   I don’t struggle with getting up or completely basic tasks.  To me there’s no other option.  I go outside a lot.  I workout.  I talk to my family and do my hobbies.  I get all as.  I do my chores.  Some days are worse than others, but it’s never that bad.  

I don’t struggle with my emotions or feelings.  I feel some regular physical pain but nothing I struggle with.  I just brush off every bad thing that happens to me.  I don’t know.  I just don’t feel like dwelling on things anyore. 

I have everything.  A loving family, somewhat of a future, and all the things I could ever want.  

But I’m unhappy.  I don’t know if miserable is the right word.  I just have this deep feeling of sadness that won’t go away.  I feel so lonely.  I think about suicide a lot.  I just don’t want to live like this anymore.  I don’t understand it.  

I feel like a doormat.  I let anyone say and do whatever to me just because I don’t really have the motivation to fight them on anything.  

I wish someone noticed, but how could they?  I look like the epitome of a happy person.  

I can’t get help.  What do I do if every coping strategy isn’t doing enough for me?