right now, i am a 21 year old who has quit several different jobs this year because i couldn’t handle it, i dropped out of school, i broke up with my boyfriend and im losing friends. everything around me is falling apart and i have no motivation to try anymore. i have no energy to leave my room, no will to clean, no desire to read or listen to music. nothing i have previously enjoyed gives me satisfaction anymore. 

when i think back to who i was 3 months ago or 1 year ago, etc i cant help but feel as if it has all been artificial. like none of my goals were my own desires, more so what i thought i should do. my whole life i’ve been living unauthentically. lately, i don’t have goals, i don’t have any idea of what i want to do with my life. i don’t have an identity. i don’t know who i am.  

i’ve lost my own idea of who i am and now i feel completely lost.