Trying not to break down crying in this restaurant by myself. Something about Anthony Bourdain's suicide has pushed me over the edge. I'm so angry. Not at him but at the apathy and hopelessness in this world. I don't trust anyone to do what's right. 

Idk how to articulate this feeling. The dots don't connect on paper but to me it's all relative. I'm just so fucking angry. Suicide rates have gone up 25% in the past 2 decades. Why!? And how can you be so comfortable being... comfortable. Leaving conflicts unresolved. Cowards. Everyone in their own right. How am I the one with the disorder, but I'm the most forgiving person I know? Ha.. I know this is incoherent but I also know you guys understand. 

How the fuck are you supposed to come to terms and be at peace with the world in it's current state? I just want to fix it all. I want to stop the pain.