I have bipolar 1 and social anxiety and I feel like nothing is helping. I've tried Zoloft, cymbalta and mirtazapine, lamotrigine, lithium, Wellbutrin, risperidone, hydroxyzine, buspirone, lorazepam all to no avail. The antidepressants either work for a week or two or don't work at all. The anti anxiety drugs don't work except for lorazepam but that stuff is addictive anyway. I had bad reactions to risperidone and lithium, and lamotrigine seemed to work but I can't get a prescriber to keep seeing me long enough for me to be on lamotrigine. Every time I get on lamotrigine my prescriber ghosts me after I get to 100mg I don't know why but I don't trust prescribers anymore after having to stop my meds abruptly on 3 separate occasions..

I'm currently on no meds and I felt okay for a few weeks and now I'm starting to feel more and more depressed again. Besides the meds, I had my last appointment with my therapist and I'm supposed to transition to a new therapist. I feel like therapy wasn't really helping and sometimes made me feel worse so I don't know if I want to continue. What do I do? Do I continue the appointments even if I don't feel like it's helping? Try to get back on meds? I don't know anymore. 

I just know that I feel like shit and without any set appointments I feel like I'm in free fall. My social anxiety is making it really difficult to answer phone calls and make calls to set new appointments which makes me want to stop even more.

Does anyone have any advice? Please I'm tired of living like this.