I hate myself so much. I hate everything about me. I hate having depression. I hate feeling this way. It's going to destroy me. It causes massive insecurities. Never feeling like enough. Always feeling like the world is better without me. Like I'm not worthy of being loved. It makes me clingy to my boyfriend. Desperate for love and affection. I'm always sad. Always worried he is going to leave me or that I'm not enough. It's starting to wear on him. I know he loves me, but I always feel like he doesn't want me. That he isn't attracted to me. That I'm not enough for him. It makes me moody and sad. I try to talk to him about it when I feel this way. Which is often. Very often. He's getting frustrated. Says I am suffocating him. I try to reign it in. Then, it becomes overwhelming. And every time I talk to him and he gets frustrated with me, I hate myself more because I can't fucking help myself. I can't stop myself. Because I am driving him away by being insecure. Which then feeds my insecurity. Makes me feel like I don't deserve him. Not worthy of his love. I try to explain to him how much I hate feeling this way. How I don't want to be sad. I don't want to be insecure. Hus answer? Then don't. 
Like it is that fucking easy. I told him it was that easy, and he told me it is. 
I just don't want to be alive anymore. I don't want to live like this. I feel so fucking broken all the god damn time.