Good evening peoples. 3 weeks ago I started Risperidone as an off label for OCD and helping with Traits of Borderline and Bipolar. During these three weeks I got in a bad car crash and started working nights. In 2018 I experienced a 6 month long depressive episode that was horrible and I can feel myself slipping back into that place and I don’t know if it’s the Risperidone doing this to me. My suicidal ideation has come back along with thoughts of self harming. I’m constantly tired. Fighting with my girlfriend. Crying. Got written up at work. I just feel like I’m losing it and I don’t know what to do. I can’t go back into that place I was in before, I’d rather be anything else than that. My doctor told me to stop immediately if there were side effects like this so I did 2 days ago and so far things aren’t getting better. I’m thinking of admitting myself into the psych ward but I will lose my jobs and I have classes to attend. My girlfriend and family are very worried about me but don’t know what to do, I don’t either. I just needed a place to write this. I have an appt with my doctor in the morning and hopefully something productive comes from that.