I quit smoking weed for a literal month before my drug screening for a new job. It was difficult but I was proud of myself. Having that crutch to rely on has honestly saved me from the noose so many times. Whenever I started to spiral I could just smoke and dissociate and dream that I was living a different and better life.
I had a hard day and was talking with some family and they put the idea in my head that it wasn’t long enough. I live in a recreational state so stopping myself was hard but if I fucking fail I don’t know what I am gonna do. I really feel like I will give up if it comes back as positive. I put school on hold for a couple months so I could complete this internship/job and if the thing that stops me from starting this new chapter is the fact that I had one last smoke a couple days after getting accepted I will literally self destruct. I don’t know why I am even posting this or what I hope comes from it I just am lost and don’t know what to do.