Omg where do I even start...

I'm almost 28 and my whole entire life I've been doing what people tell me to do. School studies collage major university where I should go which friends should I stick along even which job I should apply and prep for (which is completely different from my major subject)... every single thing is what people tell me I should do...especially my family. Why I never try to say what I actually want to do - my parents become super sad, depressed and hopeless in front of my eyes.

So my current situation- I'm very much unemployed with a heap of issues and my anxiety is going off the roof. I very clearly know I have OCD and extreme social anxiety (coz I was never allowed a proper social life ever before, those are waste of time)...but just no one wants to believe that. NO ONE. People think I'm shy or purposely trying to avoid responsibility. 

Lol I can't even open my mouth in front of anyone outside my family, it hurts so much to not be able to communicate...but they say I'm a very good mannered girl for that hah! I've failed job interviews coz all my sentences were just 2-3 words long and I was on the verge of throwing up. Therapy you'd say? We're very much financially poor I'd have to say. All therapies near me would simple empty my wallet before emptying my mind of worries.

Ok so now I have these chain of job exams scheduled that I have like 0 interest in and 0 knowledge in but I have to coz everyone around me is doing the same. Every single day I open my book with tears and the day before exam is a horrific nightmare. I've basically reduced eating and stopped talking to anyone. I literally never go outside coz that hits me with anxiety. I keep on lying to my family whole day what they want to hear. I can't even complain coz all they want is for me to be happy in life...but I just can't get this in their heads that No these will never make me happy. 

I'm so done with my life, I just wish to run off and live in the woods or somewhere like a saint or nun or something. I can't even give up coz that too the people won't allow me to. I'm hitting a rock bottom now...my hands' shaking while typing this. I know venting here won't change my sour life...but I just wish it did.