My boyfriend and I have been together for about 10 months now. We told each other we would work on ourselves together for ourselves. He would focus on communicating and not shutting down and I would focus on my temper and episodes. We were doing fine, I actually found a way not to have outbursts. Yesterday, we decided it’d be nice to go out and have a picnic. We had drinks too, we were pretty drunk. at some point him something and his answer makes me so mad. I go into a rage, I don’t remember much of it to be honest. I just remember him saying “i thought we said we were going to change.” I feel so guilty, I thought I was changing and now he’s upset. Of course he’s upset, he has every right to be, i’m scared I ruined this for us. He keeps telling me he won’t leave and he needs his space. I feel awful, what’s wrong with me, I haven’t changed and I want to. 
I don’t know how to deal with this guilt. I’ve just been in bed and I cant get myself to get up.