Today was the first time I thought about killing myself without my mind telling me that's no good and you could never do that like it usually does. Sitting on the toilet crying for hours just thinking where I've went wrong in life. Thinking about how I have friends but I dont have friends who I genuinely like. I have a girlfriend but dont wanna burden her with this since shes going through so much with her university applications, so I turn to you kind strangers, how can I find that will to keep moving on? How do I find that joy and happiness that I used to feel as a kid, how do I love myself and never have these thoughts again? Any help is appreciated. Even the slightest comment.