*MASSIVE WALL OF TEXT! Scroll to the last few paragraphs for the harrassment, the rest is the full history of the relationship..*

I dated Kay for about 3 months. We are both female, 24, and university educated. I met her online and traveled to her city once a week for a few months. 

She revealed towards the beginning that she had previously been seeing a psychologist for undiagnosed but suspected BPD and had some DBT before moving for work. I had no problem with this, as long as it didn't cause issues, as i have issues with anxiety and depression so i wasn't about to discriminate over mental health issues. I did state at the very beginning that this was my first internet date, and i had just gotten out of a long term relationship so i didn't want to rush into a relationship as i wasn't ready. Other than being quite needy and clingy and becoming attached very fast, which i suppose should have been a red flag, i didn't experience any negative aspects in the beginning of the relationship.

Mid way through, we had a few very large fights. I will say that although i like to resolve issues in relationships and have no problem with addressing things head on, i do not like to "fight", and rarely have done in previous relationships. By this, i mean, i've never been in a relationship in which disagreements resulted in shouting, spiteful and targeted hurtful words, blame placing, sulking, then begging for forgiveness and pretending the fight never happened. 

This really took a toll on me, and clearly caused problems for her in work and life in general. I brought up that seeking further help from a psychologist might be helpful, and that i'd be doing the same to help with my issues. She did buy some books and she believed that the fights were getting better, but i didn't see it. Any time she became upset, i had to put my thoughts on the backburner and take any abuse she wanted to hurl at me, then comfort her when she later decided she was a monster. 

Quite late on in the relationship, she confessed that she often took break ups very badly, and that she had recieved a caution from the police for "harassment" of previous girlfiend of hers. Honestly, this was incredibly worrying to me. I was already questioning the relationship, but this had me terrified.

Possibly due to the constant drama, the fact i gradually realised she felt more for me than i did for her, and to the fact that we were incompatible in many other ways too, i split up with her. The first time i tried, i obviously said that it was entirely my problems and issues causing it, and that it was not her fault, which was certainly in part true. I did still care about her deeply but just knew i wasn't in love with her, and that we weren't working. Somehow i ended up being persuaded to continue the relationship. I told her i didn't want to lead her on, and that i was sure it was a bad idea, but rather than splitting up we ended up simply going "on a break". Basically getting on with our lives and trying to heal, but not dating other people and planning to reconnect soon. I absolutely didn't want to do this and hurt her more, but i gave in and tried to see if a break would fix us.

Of course it didn't. It was really hard on her, which i hate myself for. I wish i had the guts to end it properly that first time and save months of pain for the both of us. I was incredibly depressed and guilty, and couldn't stand the pressure. I eventually got up the courage to actually end things, which i cowardly did over facebook and on the phone. I was having serious anxiety, and the thought of hurting and disappointing someone so badly gave me huge panic attacks and completely blanked my mind, so i resorted to writing to her so that at least i could get my thoughts out and not back out as i had done so very many times. Again, this is another thing i feel i handled terribly. I did feel awful and broken at the time. I took full blame and did not bring her into it in any way. I essentially said that it was all my issue.

After this, i think/thought we both felt some kind of relief, and kept occasional contact. 

The final break up took place in January. This week however, i got a phonecall from her at 2am. When i said i didn't think it was a good time to talk, she became upset. Apparently she had seen that i had (for the first time in 6 months...) logged into the dating site we met on. My profile did state that i was looking for friends. She logged on to this site often, as well as during our break. I took her logging on as a relief, and sign she had moved on. 

After the initial call and text, which i tried to end as quickly as possible (it was 2am!!) she began to constantly call. I got 60 missed calls from a private number and then her phone number between 2am and 9am. I also got texts every 10 minutes or so which became increasingly angry with me for being rude and not answering her questions. The next day, after several going from blaming me for all the hurt caused, spiteful targeted personal attacks, then apologies and self hate, i finally agreed to reply properly to a thought out message. Before this, i only sent one or two messages, at first i said i was sorry for all she said, but that middle of the night was probably not a good time to discuss this, which upset her more and she became spiteful. I asked to be left alone, and for her to stop contacting me. 

After i replied to the longer message, she seemed satisfied for 2 minutes, but wanted to continue talking, and kept pushing with further questions. I left it by saying that i had a lot of work to do. She kept texting asking if i hated her, if we could be friends again, if i still cared. I told her that after the barrage, i was incredibly upset, and needed time and space before thinking about continuing contact, and that i didn't feel comfortable chatting like this. She agreed initially, but when i stopped responding, she quickly turned and became angry and spiteful again for hurting her. 

In her many, MANY texts, she blamed me for beginning the relationship at all, called me poisonous and toxic to those around me. She was angry that i couldn't accept her flaws and make it work, that a nuclear argument every month (as well as other smaller arguments) was normal. She again brought up me logging in to the dating site, even though i had reassured her i wasn't looking to date and had not spoken to a single person. She told me i dealt with my issues badly and wasn't available enough for her, that i treated her horribly in the last few months and that she was upset and anxious at the end of our relationship (i had previously apologised for being more distant towards the end, but i was never, ever hurtful or mean). She accused me of never caring about her, and that i was just using her to "test out being a lesbian". She told me her friends all thought i was a bitch and using her, and the people she had showed my one or two messages to had agreed i was rude. She told me her psychologist agreed that i was not normal and that couples do fight. She said i was a liar and that i clearly was looking to date, and that she pitied the next person i meet.

I sent a message asking her to stop harassing me, that i didn't want to get the police involved but i would if forced to, and if she wanted anything important, then to please contact me through friends.

After this, the messages became as hurtful as possible. Again, stuff about how i was toxic and never loved her, and how much pain i'd caused, and how i kept lying and changing my story, how i said i'd cared and now i'd left her, and how i of all people should understand her and forgive her for the way she was currently being. She said that although she was coming across as "nutty" right now, i deal with things in a much worse way.

Today it moved to another level, here are the texts verbatim other than the names. For reference, George is my 8 month old nephew who was born while we were dating, and moved in with me along with my sister around the same time Kay and i were splitting up. He is the apple of my eye, and she knows this. Oh, and i only expressed shock about her family as she had told me she was beaten by her father and tormented by her mother.

&gt;I hate you
&gt;I also hate George and your family. You’re all better off without him. You said you didn’t like my family but yours is just as destructive.
&gt;I hope you fail your exams and flunk university BPD_ex_gf. You don’t deserve any happiness in life. I hope you don’t get better from your depression. I hope it stays with you forever. 

Honestly, speaking about me is hurtful, but i can ignore it. I know she's having mental difficulties. But this made me sick to my stomach. Who hates a baby? I am so utterly beyond furious that she could say that. I'm disgusted. I just feel so drained and tired, and am not sure what to do. I want to be left alone, but am so scared that ignoring her and blocking her on social media will mean she lash out in another way. Luckily she doesn't know my address, but what if she finds out somehow? Or what if she contacts friends, family or work colleagues to try to start drama or say hurtful things?

I have tried to block her number for my phone, but my damn Nokia Lumia doesn't have this as a feature. I tried downloading numerous apps, but they only run on Windows 8 phones. Mine is 7.5. if anyone has any suggestions for things that may work, they would be welcome! I also spoke to my service provider, and was told that they cannot block numbers from their end. I don't know if this is just a weird UK thing. They advised me to either get a new phone which supported number blocking, or to change my phone number. However i would be charged to change my phone number unless i had a police crime/incident number.

I don't know what to do. I can't take hearing this stuff anymore. I can ignore her calls, but i end up reading her texts in terror that she is making a threat to do something. I flinch when i get a call from a private number in fear it is her, which i have to answer as this is how calls from my place of employment and my doctors appear on my phone. 

I know she has BPD and is having difficulties, but i don't see why she should get a free pass to act in this way. This is harassment. If someone were to describe this behaviour to me, i would tell them to go to the police. I haven't yet, and really wanted to avoid having to resort to this, but i feel increasingly pushed towards it. She works in the medical profession and already has a caution, so i don't want to cause her trouble with work. Even if i did go to the police, i don't know if that would stop her. Maybe she would want revenge? I really just don't know what to do. I just want this to end and to be left alone. 

I guess i don't exactly know what i am asking here, possibly just venting. Everyone i have spoken to in real life doesn't know what BPD entails, and have all said call the police, and that if she has done this to another girl as well as me, then she will only do it again. I suppose i would like any input on what to do from people with BPD, or those who are knowledgable about it. Or anyone that has a call blocker for Windows 7.5...