I've been fighting for so long for myself and my life. I've fought my thoughts, my intentions, *everything*, so that I may continue and try better for my life.

My friends, I think I've failed on all accounts. I have lost to my inner will to not change. I don't think I'm long for this earth anymore. I truly do not believe any help can get to me, and I truly believe that my will to live is mine alone, which I don't have much left of. I'm fine with it, honestly.

I'm on my own time now. I don't think I can escape that fact. Lest the future be positive, my hand will be my end.