I have been with my girlfriend for a year and a half. We have our ups and downs but overall it’s been my best relationship. She knows about my BPD but we don’t talk about it much and I’m not sure she understands how much I truly suffer inside about certain things. I was finally okay and felt secure in this relationship. I didn’t feel the need to spend more time with her than we did. She came over every weekend since I have my own apartment and that was enough for me for now. Of course I want a future where I live with my partner, but for now it was enough. When the quarantine began a month ago she said she will be staying home with her parents to make sure they’re safe, without going back and forth, which I understood since her parents are older and her mom has diabetes. However, someone living in their home went in and out to work everyday, so I thought...what is so bad about her getting in her car, parking, and then coming into my apartment just to spend time in my house where I am quarantined, if this person  living with her and her family goes in and out everyday anyway? But whatever, I didn’t mention it because I didn’t wanna sound needy or ridiculous. Then she started telling me about them going to the store, going on walks, etc. All of this while we are not seeing each other because she is “quarantined” with her family. Anyway, slowly but surely they all got sick with the virus and her dad actually ended up in the hospital. He is doing much better now and coming home in a few days. However, it’s been a month and all she keeps saying is she promises to see me soon. I love her family very much and want her to be able to continue spending time with them, and since I didn’t wanna ask her to give me a date when she’ll come over or seen clingy, I offered to take a bus and train to her a couple of time. I mentioned this nonchalantly twice and both times she just said she will see me soon and promises that. I know she needs to be there for her mom while her dad is in the hospital, and should be there when her dad comes home, but she has been doing other things. Another example is she just bought a kayak because she wanted one for a long time and tomorrow she is driving 30 min to pick it up and 30 min to go home. But it hasn’t crossed her mind to either pick me up or come over. To to me it doesn’t seem to be a priority for her to see me as soon as she can even though I am literally alone in my home everyday just working. How can she be okay with that? Anyway It’s really really bothering me and I’m not sure if it’s in my head. Throughout the days we do text, we say sweet things, have text convos, she always tells me she misses me and loves me and sends me pics of her and says she can’t wait to see me, and we even booked a vacation to another country recently, but we never talk on the phone or FaceTime or watch shows together and I stopped asking. I don’t know if this is in my head or what. I just don’t know.