i (23F) am struggling to hold any type of relationships. friendships always end and so on, so having a relationship with my boyfriend of two years is amazing.

so that being said, i pick a fight about everything. i’m always mad and irritaded. fair to say i had something upsetting happen to me two months ago (basically got in a fight about something big with my so called best friend at the time and she decided to spread my personal information around to people i dont even know and turned everyone in our group against me and has destroyed me from the inside out) and i’ve been falling apart and i’m always on edge and anxious, having panic attacks almost daily. but he doesnt seem to understand me. 

he doesnt really argue with me but he builds everything up and suddendly blows up from a simple thing like me not doing the dishes when it’s my turn. 

i’ve tried telling him that he has to tell me when he’s irritaded and about what but he never does and then we have these huge fights. i’m currently not on medication and i’m hardly managing even daily tasks and i’m so scared of him breaking up with me. i dont think we’ve had a day without some kind of a fight for 4 months. i love him with all my heart but i cant show it and i go through very loving and intimate phases and he get’s used to them so when i’m more in a depressive state, that u dont want to be intimate and i wanna be alone he get’s upset.

i would really love some advice how to direct my anxiety and anger to somewhere else than him so we could work this out and turn things to the good again :(