Why do I legit always feel like I’m gonna sabotage every relationship I have. I’ve put 5 years into my current relationship BECAUSE I’m telling myself he’s legit the best person you’ve ever met yet I still have these fucking thoughts like, “Can I actually do commitment or will I be abandoned or abandon him” it’s like my fear from abandonment messed me  up so bad and I hate the thoughts of like cheating but I can’t stop them it’s horrible and I feel so BAD. I hate that I this can’t be something that goes away