TW: child sexual harassment 

I recently got diagnosed with bpd. And I couldn’t understand why if my parents said I didn’t suffer any trauma and I don’t recall either. I feel like I had a happy childhood. But then I started to remember things that happened to me when I was little and I never told my parents. When I was like 5 I was in a room with other boys my age too I think I’m not sure. And they showed me their penis and I showed them my stuff but idk why or what else happened. I can’t remember more and then when I was maybe 7 one of my cousins was inappropriate while we were playing “house”🙄 (it’s always those games ) he got on top of me and kissed me and touched me. I was scared and just froze. I didn’t do anything. Then I finally unfroze and told him to stop and he kept doing it. I never told anyone. It ate me alive for years and I believe gave me anxiety. And I blamed my self. But not I’m thinking was it my fault?? But now I think this could be the cause to my bpd. Any thoughts?