I remember things differently than my parents, and sometimes other people. For example, I think I studied super hard, and remember having a junk notebook then an organized copy of all of my notes in highschool. My parents would remember me wasting time and being depressed. 
I remember being wellspoken and being a fairly good communicator. My parents would say I didnt speak Or I was out of control and 2 of my close and long term boyfriends would say I'm crazy. I was usually told I was paranoid and delusional by family. I also grew up hearing I was overreacting or lying or just trying to get attention when I cried. I was told to ignore people  and walk away if they were mean, but also that I had to deal with it. I grew up taking the blame just so my siblings would talk to me. I learned that no one would defend me, and I was overly sensitive. 
Even when I was bullied or suicidal, my family tried showing me the lighter side of things and how I could ignore it. I wanted to cry and be held, comforted, but I now view that as weak and think expressing pain does nothing. They didn't care to hear my problems, they have their own..so i should be able to just let it go. 
My last boyfriend had a huge impact on me. He made me believe I was worth so much, he was on my side when I told him my issues. I felt validated. He showed me unconditional love and his family welcomed me and loved me like a daughter. I met his friends and thought I had a place and that I wasnt crazy in how I viewed things. I felt love. He said "it is what it is" and encouraged me to have friendships and talk to family and showed me a world that I was previously not allowed to explore. He forced me to do things that scared me and taught me various important life skills like driving. He tried steering me from self destructive things and I learned how music can help. He was all the things I wanted, and we did things that I wanted to do but was sheltered from. I learned to hunt with him. We travelled. We were the most hippie punk couple, and I loved the freedom. I felt important with him 
But I messed up. Before we got together, I learned I had to hide my anger and sadness. When they couldnt be held in anymore, he thought I was psycho too. The things that made me feel insecure, paranoid, or anything other than love shouldn't matter because of that phrase I loved. 'It is what it is'. I also grew to like the freedom that came with saying "aint nothing but a thing". Everything's a small thing is what got me. And how our friends would try to get him to see he was wrong... I wonder now if they did that not because I was in the wrong, but because I would cry if i got hurt. He changed my viewpoint to believe eventually that I do try to fight. I don't mean to but i subconsciously find issues and this causes me to dislike people. He got so mad at me sometimes, and I wouldn't give him space. I rarely let him havea life where we were doing our own thing. He showed me a world and attitude that were filled with so much light and love and openness... I was so attracted to how nice it was, I didn't realize that couples didnt have to always be together. I never learned the importance of space. I didn't even consider that even though I was invited to that world, I wasn't guaranteed to stay. I thought I was more important than I was. I learned also through this world that if you tell one ear you tell one hundred. That even people you've become close with and have memoried with can pull a fast one. I learned that as a girl, guys want one thing. I saw time and again people love to put others down. People preach how they wish they were. That nobody gives a crap about me. If everyone has got their own stuff to deal with, 