Every time I think I finally got somewhere safe to stand and try to get myself back together, I end up falling farther down. Three years ago I was depressed, but I could still have fleeting moments of happiness, but now I breathe weed like air just to feel something. Im failing and dropping out of my dream school, what friends I had left don't reach out or worry for me, I'm sucking the money and life from my partner like a vampire the longer I'm alive, spending what little spending money we have on fucking drugs... And the worst part is that there's so much farther to fall from here. It can get so much worse, and I'm afraid of the moment when it will and I'm falling again. There's no climbing up now, just begging to stop falling and Its just not stopping. It's only a matter of time before I just get it over with and save mys lf and everyone else the trouble.