I apologize if this isnt the place for this but idk where else to post. I've had terrible anxiety and depression since I was 10. Alot of it has to do with the fact that my mom was given opioids when she was pregnant with me and my dad passing away when I was seven. Now I'm 24. Most relationships I've had be it friends, family, or romantic has ended because I cant control my thoughts. I've been on meds since before I could remember but the older I get the less they work and that's even with having them adjusted practically every 3 months. I cant hold down a job because I'm always paranoid I'm gonna mess up and that cause me to have panic attacks which apparently "isnt good for customers". I've tried everything from therapy to counseling but it doesn't help. Nothing does. I'm just want it to end. I'm tired of always having erratic emotions. I'm tired of always being depressed. No matter what I do to try and better myself it always comes back around. I dont want to hate living....but theres nothing for me. I just want to feel normal again and I have no idea how