Hi all,

I’ve suffered from GAD for the majority of my life, beginning in childhood but only diagnosed around 19 (10 years ago). 

I tried multiple types of SSRIs for anxiety/depression about 9-10 years back, and never really found the right one. I also had some bad allergic reactions to Effexor and Wellbutrin and had to discontinue their use. I eventually got fed up and gave up on trying to find medication. I also did therapy for about 7 years and that helped a ton, however I currently don’t have health insurance and can’t afford longterm therapy. 

I’ve always existed with significant generalized anxiety, and while I’ve developed coping skills to be a functional person, succeed in school, and fulfill my various obligations, I feel like I don’t have quality of life. This past 1.5 years or so the anxiety has been creeping up and I’ve been allowing it to fuel avoidance for several things (e.g., staying in a low wage job the last 8 months when I should be looking for jobs more relevant to my degree/current graduate studies).

I’ve also been struggling more than usual with some checking behaviours that have been frustrating to deal with (e.g., checking locks, stove, car, etc.). I’ve been considering trying a search for an anti-anxiety medication again but I think back to how it went the first time and it fills me with dread and anxiety (lol). I take clonazepam as needed, however I was thinking something more regular.

My SO suggested I try posting here to read some hopeful stories, success stories regarding the medication search, or maybe just some support/commiseration/normalizing of all this. I know the pandemic/isolation is probably exacerbating this whole experience, but still I’m feeling miserable and anxious and need to do something. Thanks everyone, I wish you well.