I just saw a psychiatrist in person today for the first time in like five-six years. The last two times were either telehealth, or in a psych ward (and also telehealth). I was diagnosed with bipolar a year ago, at a psych ward, and more or less fought the diagnosis the year following. 

Flash forward to today, and the psychiatrist I saw today was the first doctor I have interacted with in this whole past year who took time to explain what was happening to me. He explained the different symptoms, how mania and hypomania works and so on. He told me based on what I related to him I mostly likely had bipolar type 1. He was patient with me when I was hesitant with certain drugs, and is cautious with how things may interact with my epilepsy.

I'm gonna pick up my new prescription of seroquel tonight. I'm just happy to understand things better and be back on treatment and just kind of accept this finally.