I need some help with constantly having intrusive thoughts about my FP. I already cut my FP out of my life and it was a really bad situation — I had lashed out at her and said nasty things and we have been at least 3 months no contact. Before the last time we spoke it had been something like 3 months no contact as well.

However, I’m still having these obsessive, ruminating thoughts over her. I have created fake accounts to creep on her social media, and I compulsively check them. Every day I cry over this, and I have thoughts about her where I’m basically like talking to her in my head. It’s so distracting and makes it difficult for me to concentrate — all I can do is use the pomodoro method to get any work done, but it’s like my mind defaults to thinking about her, reflecting on how our relationship failed, feeling guilty, mulling, and just fretting over what to do.

I only recently started DBT and I do not know how to deal with this. I’ve tried journaling, distracting myself, socializing, etc., but inevitably once all those activities are done I go back again and again to thinking about her. It feels so awful and it interferes with my life, and I am beginning to feel like I’m going crazy because of how long it’s been yet I still think about it. How can I stop these intrusive thoughts? Any advice would be appreciated.

tl;dr really need strategies for reducing intrusive thoughts about FP