I don't know if this is the right place to put this. I wasn't sure where else to turn, and I feel safe in this forum.

I made a mistake a month ago at my hair salon, my being a bit too stare-happy with one of the other clients and too loudly complaining about my dating life. My stylist added these up, told me that it was gross and inappropriate behavior and not to come back. These have been two of the worst habits since I was a teenager -- the point where I was once loudly shamed in an otherwise quiet high school physics class for looking at someone too much.

It's hit me hard.  I feel like an absolute fucking creepy piece of shit. The shame and embarrassment have been overwhelming. I've barely glanced at or made eye contact with anyone since, from the girl taking my order at Tiajuana Flats to the cashiers at Publix, forcing myself to look away. The isolation of the past six months has been overwhelming enough, being in the house for 22 hours a day, but this has taken it to a whole new level.

I've been Snapchatting with a long-distance friend of many years. After I told her the story, she recommended that I needed to get to therapy more often and expressed frustration about the stigma of men asking for mental help in today's culture -- that it's weak and unattractive. 

She told me I was a good person and that I deserved to be happy.... but do I really? Did I just make a mistake or is that who I really am? And if the latter, do I really deserve to be happy or rather ostracized and shunned? Am I worthy of love and affection or just to be left alone?