Earlier today i was walking after having bad anxiety all day, i dont know what for but the second i woke up i just felt that something was terribly wrong even though i didnt have any symptoms or anything. Through and through i suffered through it all day until i decided to go on a walk to calm myself, this is where it gets real bad.

I just snapped, it was like reality wasnt real and something was out to get me, i felt like i wasnt real nor was the world around me and i freaked out. I started walking home but i just wanted to lay down in the middle of the road and freak out i couldnt stop moving my hands and head around i kept doing the same thing repeatedly, scratching, erratic movements that i kept repeating such as throwing my arm up grabbing my shirt then grabbing my leg and repeat, looking around for danger that did not exist, everything around me has looked wrong all day and even more so now despite me not even knowing what that means, hair pulling, biting, hair pulling, hitting myself, and then when i got home i ran into my room and sat on my bad and just started laughing, then crying then both over and over again i would laugh and cry and switch between them like i was a nutcase and this lasted for almost 30 minutes before my dad finally got me grounded back to reality.

Worst part is that i really didnt feel like anything i was doing was all that crazy until near the end of the episode, it was like everything made sense to act like that and everyone else just wasnt getting it. I still feel like the whole world is off for some reason, like everything just looks wrong but im not freaking out. My dad and brother described it as me having a crazed look in my eye and that everything i was doing was pretty much insane. What do you all think? If i have another episode like this ive preemptivley convinced myself to just call 911 for psychiatric help and/or to have my family get me someplace safe because ive been feeling the urge to hurt myself more and more, at first scratching but earlier i had to stop myself from slamming my leg with a hammer.