I find being around family really helps, close family, mum and dad (my brother but he’s away in New Zealand, we’re in UK), grandma and grandad sometimes but more occasionally. Don’t like being on my own apart from sometimes when mum and dad go out drinking (I live with them), then I deal with it and watch infowars.com Alex Jones show, play a bit of piano and order an Indian takeaway (we all have Indian on Saturday nights)

I find just being around people who understand and are empathetic and nice, and friendly, and not after anything or feel they are forced to be there, just happy to be there, helps (like for example my mum and dad own/run a garden centre business and one of the ladies who works there who is nice came round and talked which was nice, but after a while maybe it was too much and felt it getting a bit tense, when it needn’t have been but I guess there’s a time limit on everything maybe if you feel like you’re a guest). I just like to talk and listen (and “sing” when I talk, sounding as nice as I can and not burden other people too much)

I have a feeling I am trying to moderate behaviours that go on. My dad can get quite passive aggressive/frustrated sometimes (maybe coz I’m still living at home on benefits at 28? Accepted mental health after 6 years last year and been on benefits since then). Or maybe he is just a bit like that himself anyway. And my mum, I think because of that, altho mainly nice and a steadrock of the family, can get ratty or offended or something and I feel I have to juggle all that and just try to remain composed and “with it”, defending or maintaining composure or deflecting when attacked, questioning, maintaining composure by being silent sometimes when something nasty or off is said and it’s just better to be silent and “let it go” than raise an argument or reply. Do you catch ma drift? Anyone else feel like they are caught in the middle sometimes? Trying to maintain a healthy view on life in spite of what’s said around you, in what time of voice people use, passive aggressive natures, overbearing natures or comments, “off” comments.? 

I mainly have a healthy relationship with my parents. I think we are all missing my brother a bit who’s in New Zealand or a bit puzzled why he’s so eager/committed to stay there / doesn’t want to or not keen on coming back. But sometimes/fairly often the feelings above crop up and I feel I have to maintain that composure

I should add that money stresses me out a bit. I had a habit of signing up to a lot of subscriptions/contracts. Luckily most were monthly but in the past I have done longer when in my own place (sky tv, broadband etc). Because I felt I “had” to support “good” companies. Rather than doing a “pay as you go” method of just buying things as u want or need them. Instead of signing up for subscriptions which I didn’t always use anyway. So I’ve just today deleted all my subscriptions apart from my phone 24month contract and Apple Watch 24 month contract (should have done pay as you go! In 2 years I will do that). So go me. I get £900 a month. 200 rent/board. 300 cigarettes. 100 phone and watch. Leaves me with 300 spare a month now. I’m happy. I can save up for holidays and a bit of spending money for some nice clothes here and there. I’m getting a Nintendo switch for Christmas and Iv got FIFA 22 for it, and a controller. And I got a nice North Face zip up hoodie from the best independent branded-clothes selling shop in town, Mainline, and a Leeds United top which il probably only wear in the summer as I prefer the feel of cotton tops unless it’s too warm

Would like/love to hear what your experiences are. What helps/what doesn’t help/what you have to deal with/what makes you feel happy and what you’re getting for Christmas etc

All the best, kind regards and happy weekend y’all, D, Dan xx