Hello everyone, I just need some help please:

Some backstory: I had to go to university, but never wanted to, I failed and dropped out and told my parents that I’m still studying and went on with that for about 4 years, I even told them I got accepted for honours and kept on the lie for another year (I just wanted to make my mom proud) but anyway. I kept on lying about stuff that I thought would cause disapproval from my mother, I just kept on going and going and well they found out (obviously). My plan was to lie and then when the time came to end it all. So well they found out (I still lied about stuff and I can sense my wife is tired of me) so I’m really in a place where I want to genuinely end it tonight in approx 4 hours. I just wanted to ask is there any help someone can give me, does my life still have purpose? Will I just continue hurting people I care about deeply? 

The lies started after I got diagnosed with severe depression and I never got any help for it. I have always felt lost since that day.