I’m like bottling up all my thoughts and even just keeping suicidal thoughts to myself because I feel like people would treat me as a nuisance. Like I’ve talked about these things before but my parents laugh it off like it’s some joke. My mom is religious so she said throw all your anxieties on God but I don’t believe in him, and my dad is basically nonexistent at this point. All he does is stay outside, in his car, smoking an entire pack of cigarettes, like it’s so scary to talk to him too because now he doesn’t give a fuck about anything. The whole religious ordeal makes me sick because I’m a Jehovah’s Witness, and I don’t understand how to fully express myself now. I’ve been punished for coming out as bisexual and it was awful. I can’t even say stuff around “friends.” I don’t have any. Mostly because I’m just too socially anxious around people now. There’s some of those acquaintances that take advantage of me since I’ll try to be nice to them. Like always being the joke to their friend group. I honestly just hate being here, and I’m tired of being punished for letting out all my frustrations with my life.