In short I’ve been dealing with depression, stress and anxiety for years. The first two diagnosed, the latter now just being “investigated” by my psychiatrist.

For backstory:
She says she sees a bit of social anxiety and generalised anxiety in my behaviour and a great deal of ADD that she up until now haven’t been able to diagnose since I (seemingly) didn’t have too many signs of AD(H)D growing up (I’m female, so that might be why. In my early 30’s now.)

Now my psych’s backtracked a bit and is thinking maybe medication for ADD could help me but she first and foremost mention Lyrica for my anxiety.

I’m overweight (5”7, 280 lbs), have PCOS which makes losing weight hard, which spirals and causes me to eat too unhealthy at times. I workout regularly but generally have an unhealthy relationship with food. One day I binge (not in the diagnosed binge-disorder way but still a lot), other days I rarely eat anything.
I’m very sad about my body that gives me zero selfesteem, and in general has given me hell throughout my life in regards to love life, quality of life, life experiences etc. I’m healthy, nothing wrong with the mechanics of my body but my selfesteem is nowhere in sight. So when I heard the word Lyrica, I panicked. I’ve only ever associated that with gaining weight. Not only a little. A lot of weight.

I want to get better but I can’t gain anymore weight. I will never be happy like that. Not when I still have to work on my relationship with food. I’m already getting stressed at the thought of balancing weight gain with weight loss and food and life quality and being social and working etc.

When I voiced my concern she got serious and said that this might help me and motivate me to work out more and eat healthier. True, maybe. But it could also make thibgs even worse for my already non-existent selfesteem.

So TLDR; Am I crazy for being 80 percent “no Thank you” to lyrica/other anxiety med that makes you gain weight?

Do any of you have experiences with or without meds that might help me in my decision?

Thank you.