I am spiralling quicker than ever. In the last week I have really really started to spiral into negative thoughts, binge eating, binge drinking. I hate my own existence, it's so empty and worthless. I cause so much pain to those closest to me and have pushed everyone else away.

I never finished university, even though I was in my last year, I am in heaps of debt, I am stuck in a dead end job and a dead end life. I just want to feel some sort of happiness and stability for once. I don't wish this sort of emotional torment on any other human, I hate the person I am.

I am really really struggling.