Today is the one year anniversary of losing someone who was like my little sister to suicide, from BPD. I am a shell of a person today. I am at work, but not really. I cried in front of several co-workers. I feel just empty. I also have BPD, and also had an incredibly scary talk with my boyfriend where he said he really wants to fuck other girls really badly, but he only wants the sex because he has the emotional bond with me. And he wants to keep trying to work on the relationship. He promised he wouldn't act on these feelings, and that he does still want to be with me. I just feel fucking broken today. And I have to pretend to not be broken. Sorry for the vent, may not make much sense, just needed to get it out of my brain.