I live in an area right outside of a major city that has a gun violence issue. I also live close to a town where a mass shooting occurred. 

Over the summer I went to a concert and there was a shooting half a block away from me. I feel guilty even having this fear because the area I live in has very low violence compared to other neighborhoods where individuals are living in a constant state of stress. I know that I am in a privileged position, But I cannot shake this fear that I am going to be shot and killed. Part of it is because violence clearly can happen anywhere in my country, so it really is a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. All of my friends live in the city so every time I visit them, which is almost weekly, I’m just overcome with this sense of dread. Where I live, shootings happen on the highway even, so while I know that I’m not entirely crazy to feel the way that I do, I also feel like everyone else is less afraid than I am in some sort of way?

I don’t know, I just feel so crazy, I already have really bad heart and death anxiety so if I’m not worrying about what’s going on inside of my body then I’m worrying about the violence going on around me. 

I just hate feeling this way so much