I lost a friend recently, in the friendship I was very jealous, both of her and her other friendships. I wished I was like her and at the same time I wanted to be her only friend. I would wish in my head that she'd drop her other friends that it could be just us. I was also very clingy and needy. In general I am that way, I just need attention and if I don't get attention from who I want I just want to die. It fucking sucks and idk how to deal with it. I don't know how to self soothe and I just so desperately want to be taken care of but people have lives outside of me and it isn't fair. The bright side is I see a therapist soon and hopefully I will get some help. I hate feeling this way and being so rotten.