**tl;dr: My bf doesn’t love me anymore and me barely gives me any attention.  Like 11 days ago I started talking with a dude with BPD and it was awesome cause I haven’t had attention from anyone in a long time.** [I posted about it here](https://www.reddit.com/r/BPD/comments/yg4ngb/met_a_guy_with_bpd_days_ago_im_already_idealizing/) **and people said that would go terribly wrong and one poster left a** [great eye opening comment about how that was emotional cheating.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BPD/comments/yg4ngb/comment/iu8t7wl/?utm_source=reddit&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3) **I need that again!**

Ok so I felt like that guy was close to becoming an FP and I hate to have one so that motivated me to cut off contact. 

Based on suggestions in that last post, I focused again on working on my relationship and connect with my bf more. It's not going as planned…

Latests example: I sent him content from a relationship therapist talking about how to reconnect your relationship, I took screenshots so he wouldn’t even need to click on a link and read it on IG lol

I dumbly sent 3 extra screenshot talked about why it’s good to give your partner the benefit of doubt. I told him “I found this advice on IG about relationships and want to know what you think. Also the last ones I sent them because it’s something I’ve struggled with”

His reply to the WHOLE thing was: : “yeah benefit of doubt good”  My honest reaction to that reply: 💔🥲. I regretted it so much to send those 3 extra screenshots, I wish he had replied to the important part instead. 

I realllyyyy want to use the therapist advice but goddamn it’s being hard af to give the benefit of doubt to this… I’m basically thinking “well, at least he replied :)” looool which feels like massive COPE 

After that I feel bad because damn idk what the fuck I can to do so this relationship doesn’t fucking DIE but it keeps getting harder :(  

“luckily” Joji released a new album and I’m relating to his sad lyrics. I hope his music helps me cope or cry more when my bf ultimately leaves me. 

Rn these are my jams “**Before the day is over**” and “Feeling like the end” and omg “Die for you” I know this one will hit hard when he leaves me… 

**🥹 Thank you Joji and thank you random reddit person for reading my shit**