Yesterday i found out about bpd by chance because i was looking into self destructive behavior and from certain things I’ve seen i relate to half the things I’ve read could be symptoms and even then i don’t know what to do. I tried going to therapy maybe a year ago, by going to a general doctor? Who would recommend someone and when i told them a few of my issues. They did nothing to help and made me passive aggressive with the doc and in the end livid enough to never return because when ever I’ve opened up in the past about anything its backfired and for it to happen again with a supposed professional…I’m seriously at a loss because a few days ago its been a year since I’ve been unemployed and i cant will myself to find another job because of reasons,, i cant trust my family after distant and fairly recent event, I’ve have been ironically home alone even living with my mom, because i don’t have a job i don’t have a reason to leave my house so rarely do, its been a week since i was gonna go get alcohol but don’t and the only reason i have a reddit account again was to ask about bar etiquette to maybe try and meet or talk to people but i already know how its gonna work out. only reason I’m sorta comfortable making this post is because animosity and a way out if this backfires if i don’t delete everything i post here anyways