I’m 35 years old, female and I work part time at a local pharmacy as a Cashier. I’m putting in exactly 20 hours a week. It’s nice I just work across the street so no commute. I’m former Army. 

I also receive disability from Social Security once a month. I’ve gotten better with my mental illness. I receive a once a month shot. The medication is called Invega Sustena. 

I keep thinking there has got to be more to life. My student loans are getting forgive due to my mental health issues or schizophrenia. In 3 years they will be erased. Im wondering if I can go back to graduate school, but the answer is no since I would have to no longer be disabled. 

I have a 7 year old son that lives with his grandparents since his father is full time or active duty in the Army. We split about 4 1/2 years ago. They live in another state all together and I live in Hawaii. I use to be a full time teacher but haven’t been able to go back to teaching which my psychiatrist says I may go back to if I can get cleared in the future. It wouldn’t be full time since I’ll always be taking Invega and only be able to work part time due to disability. 

I really miss my son. Now that I’ve “sobered” up on new medication since March and been approved for disability with Social Security I feel like an old Army veteran or retiree, not sure what else I can do. At times I feel I have so much time since I only work part time/ 20 hours. I speak with my son every other day on FaceTime several states away. The time difference is killer. 

I also wonder if I’ll ever be able to get a love interest in the future and if it is possible to have kids and a husband again. My doctor says yes with medication schizophrenia means I’m fine to have kids.  

I hate I always have these thoughts maybe I’ll move to where my son lives with his grandparents. I tried many years ago when I was still married to my ex, but the state is unlivable.