There’s nothing left for me here, I’m a shell of the person I used to be, or could have been. I hate to admit it, but it’s true. Mental illness has taken away every aspect of my life that I enjoyed, and enveloped my brain in its entirety. It’s degraded my cognitive functions and my quality of life. I’m never going to fucking get treated, I’m never going to be helped. No one wants to help, or cares. The one person who cared (if you could even call it that) is long gone out of my life. And as for everyone else? Denial, accuses me of using it as an excuse (because I’m just a bad person according to them), or they don’t know. And why would I tell anyone? No one cares anyway. I put so much effort into keeping up with people and showing them that I care, and what do I receive in return? Nothing. All I want is for someone to just show me that they care about me, and they just don’t. Nobody does. I’m sick of living as if I give a fuck about all the shit that happens in my life. One bad thing after another, it never stops. And now roe v. wade has been overturned, and of course the Supreme Court wants to ban same sex marriage, relationships, and contraceptives, it’s just one bad thing after another. In my life, in the United States. You can tell me all you want that there’s some good left in the world, but until I experience it for myself, good luck convincing me. I want so badly for some unfortunate event to happen to me just so the world let me be in peace, because it seems that’s the only way for my life to be in a state of content.