Its been a few months since i broke up with my ex and lost almost all my friends. The reason being was due to my autism and the fact that there are thing i wouldnt be able to do like drive. Hearing those reasons hurt a lot. Since then ive been struggling with my mental health. I have breakdowns and cry every night. Work is tougher, and my mom has no idea how to help me. Nor do i know how to help myself.

Ive been thinking abouts what been bothering me more. The fact that my ex was right and i will never be able to to things a normal person can. Or having lost all the people i thought gave a damn about me. The few friends i have left i barely talk to because im so scared of driving them away. 

Another thing is everyone is doing so much better than me. My sisters are both in relationships, have good jobs and are happy. My few remaining friends went camping, out with their families. My cousins are graduting college. Meanwhile i just work at home depot lifting boxes not because i want to but because im good at it. It makes me hate myself seeing others do so well and having to put on a fake smile while trying not to cry or yell.

Im so tired of it all. I just want to be happy too...