I am a freshman in Community College and I wanna pursue a career in engineering. Due to particular cases, I was out of school for 3 weeks and a professor told me that I can take the exam when I felt ready. Now that I caught up with everything, he marks a 0 on the exam which is worth 16% of my grade. I need to get an A in this class. The only thing that makes me feel any worth at all are my grades. I emailed the professor and haven't heard back from him. I'm really considering just to end it here. I'm just starting in college and I can't have a C damaging my GPA. Essentially my whole career would be over at this point. How do I calm myself down? I know that I decide to kill myself right now I would hurt my mother, but I don't see myself getting out of this. She won't arrive in the apartment for at least another hour. It is so tempting just to end it rn.