Diagnosed almost three years ago after a stay in a stress center (self-admitted with the encouragement of my sister after threatening several times to commit suicide).  Current medications are Busiprone, Lamictal, and Ativan (but only as needed).

My boyfriend and I have been dating for roughly a year. 

[Backstory: I say roughly because when we first went out everything was supposed to be "casual" because he had been upfront with me about not being over his ex.  About 7 months ago the thing I feared most happened.  He broke up with me, said it wasn't fair for him to date me when he still felt like he had unresolved feelings for his ex.  They ended up "hanging out" or getting back together for about 2 weeks before he came back to me and told me that he felt he had gotten closure and he was absolutely sure he had no romantic feelings for her anymore, and that he wanted to focus on building a real relationship with me.  We got back together and have been together ever since.]

The biggest challenges for me have been - 1, Getting over the fact that he "abandoned" or "rejected" me for her. 2, His schedule is extremely taxing and during the school year I only get to see him one day a week and during the weekend (it seems like I get separation anxiety from this). And 3, anytime his schedule changes or I don't get to see him as much as I'd like and anytime he's too tired or stressed to have sex, I take the rejection VERY personally, often getting extremely sad or angry and consequently lashing out, sometimes by saying things I deeply regret later.

The positives (and the reason I believe that this is a healthier relationship than any of my past ones) have been that we communicate fairly well.  Even if there is an argument or an emotional outburst, we always talk it through and find a resolution.  We both listen and we both talk.  I am learning to balance this relationship with my life, trying not to neglect my own needs and realizing that I don't have to be with him every second of every day - and that is getting better!  He's extremely understanding and when we do have a fight or when I lash out, at least when I apologize or explain, he is ready to move on and forgive/forget (even though I can't always let it go).  He clearly cares for me very much and I believe him when he says he is 100% in our relationship and that he has no feelings for his ex.  In fact, my perspective on what happened is that it was better for him to break up with me and figure out what he really wanted, as opposed to him staying with me and me never really knowing if he was truly "done" with that relationship.

I'm still struggling a lot though with the fallout surrounding the ex and his schedule.  I'm trying to figure out how to deal with his time constraints in a healthy way and to not get mad or hurt if there is a change or when he doesn't have as much time for me as I would like.  The other big thing is that he has expressed an interest in maintaining a "friendship" with his ex AND she happens to work at the dentist office he goes to.  I get incredibly jealous and insecure about anything that has to do with her.  Regardless of the fact that I trust him, the whole situation makes me extremely uneasy and leads to a lot of anxious internal dialogue (What if he leaves me again? Why wasn't good enough to keep him from leaving in the first place? What made her so much better than me?  I'll never be as pretty or as good as her. I'm too much trouble and she was probably so easy to deal with in comparison. Will he ever love me the way he loved her? If he really cared about me, why can't he just cut her out of his life?)  Same thing when it comes to his schedule (Why doesn't he want to spend more time with me? Why doesn't it matter to him if he sees me or not? Why doesn't he want to see me all the time? He doesn't care about me. I'm too needy.)

I'm aware that all of this is going on inside my head and has to be dealt with - but sometimes it comes in such a flurry of emotion or anxiety, it seems like I can't stop it from happening or even interrupt the negative self-talk.

Just looking for any thoughts/suggestions that might help me continue to work through some of the anxiety ...  