I don't know if i want to wipe who i am and have been for so long now, or if i want to wipe ou my existence. So long I've told myself and forced myself to live just one more day, because one day or another it will be different right?? One day or another, it will be better right??   
These days, there's another loud thought i have- not being here at all is different. it is better. It might not be the most pleasant choice, but it is a choice all the same. And it is the only choice that says- "you'll never have to hurt again. you'll never have to hold your hand when you break. you'll never ave to cry again. it will all end, forever."

This thought is the only thing that seems to care about me anymore.