OP NOTE: This is crossposted.

&amp;#x200B;

This is probably going to be kind of long..I need somewhere to say this. My friends don't really understand.

Last  year, my divorce (blindsided, married for 7 years, separated for a  year) was finalized. She was the main breadwinner throughout our  marriage and even though I worked, I made significantly less. My money  was mostly for our extracurriculars, traveling, etc.

I  didn't get anything in the divorce. She got the house and everything in  it. I didn't fight this because I couldn't afford it anyway. I moved to  a new state and got my own apartment and a job that paid me more. My  job at that time had very inconsistent hours and I was dipping into  savings in order to stay afloat. I got a job offer for another job that  essentially tripled what I made when married. I TOOK IT! Things were  great for a bit.

I started putting  money back into savings and working to pay off debt. I got engaged and  my fiance and I planned on moving in together this April when my lease  is up. We went on a vacation to Disney that we worked hard to save up  for. It was pretty great but costly. No problem, I just buckled down and  watched my spending after.

December  comes. A family member ended up in jail, leaving his family struggling  as he was the main breadwinner. I visited, took the kids Christmas  shopping and gave their mom a little bit of money to help as much as I  could. Then, my client went on Christmas break for two weeks and did not  want ANY sessions at all. No sessions = no pay. I lost half a month's  pay to this.

I budgeted as best as  I could and kept it going. January hits. I get COVID and am forced out  of work again, with no pay. At this point, I've lost so much money  unexpectedly. My last two checks have been half a much as usual, which  is only enough to pay bills. Groceries, gas, etc are all coming out of  my savings. I was right on track with saving so that we could move in  April, but now we can't. Honestly, I am so stressed and feel like such a  failure. I am too "old" and work too hard to be stressing about money  this way.

I know it seems dumb,  but it is a big deal to me. I've picked up as many hours as I can but  that is limited because the type of work I do is client based (ABA  therapy for kids with autism). I just feel so discouraged and defeated.  My anxiety is through the roof. I haven't had a panic attack but I've been having trouble sleeping and have constantly had racing thoughts about this. I have medication to be taken "as needed" but I'm trying to only take it when absolutely necessary because I'm paranoid about becoming addicted.

That's it really. I know this wasn't a happy post. I just needed to vent  a little bit. Thanks for listening.

tldr;  Divorced from main breadwinner, moved to a different state, worked my  ass off, lost a bunch of money unexpectedly (lost work, helping family,  got COVID), can't move, living off savings. Feeling very discouraged.