Tl;DR: i get really intense anxiety and panic before my online therapy appointments for no reason and it’s to the point i want to cancel everytime. 

Hey all, i’ve been in therapy since i was 14 (i am now 20). I developed panic disorder in 2021 and it slowly got really bad and i’m at the point where it’s extremely severe and really impacting my life and functioning now. 

i realised my old therapist just wasn’t working for me anymore so i decided to see a new lady. We really click and work well together and i really enjoy seeing her except for the fact that i have really severe anxiety before sessions to the point where i feel so awful i want to cancel (i want to note they are all online video call appointments so it’s not to do with going out at all because i take the calls in my bed. )

I have all the panic symptoms but the worst one is the nausea (i have emetophobia). I have an appointment tomorrow and i’m already feeling anxious about the prospect of feeling anxious, i really don’t know why i feel so bad before my appointments because she’s amazing and i’m making great progress, i really don’t know what to do this is making recovery extra difficult :(