Hi folks, I hope my question doesn't come across as rude. Feel free to inform me if my judgement is poor. Also apologize if this is all over the place, I am not all that clear minded. 

For a bit of context as to why I am asking this question; I recently told boyfriend (Diagnosed with BPD) of 1 year that I wanted a break/ and or breakup depending on where things go. I mainly did this because I felt sort of obligated since I felt I was developing some bad behaviors in response to his difficult behaviors. Even though it feels like the right thing to do it still hurts to be away from him.

I need some help separating what I should be hurt by and what I should understand as a symptom of BPD, as he often defended some of his hurtful actions as being such. So where do you guys thing the line should be drawn from your experience? 

If explaining some of what he did would help you all help me just let me know. All discussion is appreciated. Thanks!