I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know my main purpose, why I am here, or even created. I want to kill myself so bad but I can't even hold a knife so I am hoping that something bad happens to me. I love my family but I wouldn't want to spread our bloodline anywhere. I do have friends that love me for who I am but I haven't told them or my family about this. I don't have any energy for anything, like I can't clean my room or do any chores. I want to do that but I never have anytime for it. That's one of the reasons why I want to kill myself, less people to feed for. All I want to do is to finish my bucket list and wait or take matter in my own hands. I want to be free.