Trigger warning for mentions of intrusive thoughts and animal death:

I have three cats that i love with all my heart. They support me a lot emotionally. 3 may sound like a lot but they are all very taken care of and have plenty of space. originally I had 4, but one of them got out of the house and i haven’t seen her in years.

This seemed to have sparked a huge issue of having to know where my cats are located at all times. About 9 times a day at least I randomly stop what I’m doing, and walk around the house and look in the three usual spots that they will be in. (I call this the “cat count”) 

If i don’t find them after looking in the three places, my anxiety immediately shoots up and i begin panicking and get my poor boyfriend and/or my roommate to help me find them. Of course they’re always safe, but it’s getting ridiculous. 

As well, if i’m about to leave i do a cat count, lock all doors and windows so they can’t escape, and i pet each one in case i don’t see them again. Even though it makes no sense, my brain will convince me that it’s probable for them to be able to escape through a locked front door or locked window. Then while i’m out i’ll randomly get this violent intrusive thoughts about them getting hurt! It’s horrible!

Even if i’m watching a movie, and a cat in the movie dies, it immediately triggers a panic attack. Or if i see a stray i get freaked out because i think about it getting hurt. 

I’m sure i sound ridiculous getting so worried about cats, but I don’t know what to do. I could use some advice on how to chill out about cats before i become a crazy cat lady, though it may be too late for that.