Hey everyone, for the past month or so I’ve been faced with the fact that my father is getting older and the thought of losing him is hurting me so deeply. I’m 20 and he’s 58 but the thing is, he has been through hell his entire life and it shows. My father and my dog were all the people I had growing up, I’ve never had friends so I really relied on those two, but ever since my dog passed on in July I’ve been struck with the realization that we are all going to die one day but I’m so afraid of never seeing my father and my family ever again. He’s told me that it’s a waste of time and energy worrying about the inevitable and that I need to cherish the time that I have with him but it’s so hard when I’m constantly consumed with the fear of being lost and alone. I keep having memories of when I was a child and the things we did together but now I look at my pops and see him aging and it makes me want to run and sob. I’m so afraid to fall asleep because I’m scared I’ll wake up and not have my best friend any longer. I have no one else besides my father to talk to and I feel my hope is completely depleted and the little bit of faith that I tried to muster hasn’t done anything, thats why I’m writing this post, I guess I’m hoping for advice or someone to tell me that it’ll be ok and that the end of this long journey we call life I’ll be able to sit down once again and play games or do things with my father. I really want to stop this pain and fear because my father is still here and I don’t want to waste my time crying and mourning what the future will inevitably bring.

Thank you for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day reader.