I’m going to try and write this without crying but I am utterly and completely alone. 

When I was 12 I told somebody about the sexual assault I was victim to by my brother in law. That person ofc told my family and since then I haven’t had a good relationship with my family members, especially my siblings. 

Expect for my youth worker that eventually has to end her work with me, I have nobody. Being alone wouldn’t be much of a problem if I wasn’t in need of support. Trust me, I am forever grateful for my youth mentor for being with me and helping me come this far but this  is still just a job. 

I need support from people who love me for who I am. And I imagine that love to come from  friends and family. Ones that I don’t have. 

I feel defeated and hopeless and I don’t know how to cope. 

I said I would try not to cry but I failed.