This used to be very rare however recently it's happening again, and a lot more often. I hate everyone except my boyfriend. That includes my family too. Today my bf told me how a co-worker yelled at him for absolutely no reason at all. I immediately started thinking about killing that guy, and then myself. I try stopping myself but I can't really. This happens every time I get mad at someone. I want them to die one way or another. I hate everyone who has the will to live because I don't have it anymore, I'm jealous. 

This pretty much started again about 2 weeks ago because both of my parents admitted I was a mistake. Didn't even say they still love me or anything. They both admit their lives would be better without me.

I know I'm gonna get lynched but I really don't care.
I think people shouldn't be allowed to have children unless they have the right mental capacity for it. There should be something like a license to have children. Even schools dedicated only to teach adults how to raise children. With an education that lasts AT LEAST 2 years. So no child can be a worthless mistake like me. 

I haven't put myself down for two reasons:
One is my boyfriend, I'd be ruining his entire life. I'm the first person he fell in love with.
Two is, spite. I want to live to absolutely abandon my parents, just like how they were physically there, however always emotionally absent. Even now they still think I'm a good child. I'm not, I never was and from now on, I won't ever be.