I stopped smoking weed this week and it has brought my anxiety to an all new high. So anxious that I’m dreaming up my fears, and carrying them into life — I had a dream my bf cheated on me and I woke up into an anxiety attack and felt like that dream actually happened. After that dream I couldn’t stop feeling anger and hatred towards him. I really felt like he did it and I didn’t wanna talk to him. After I felt better (about 5 hours after the dream) I texted him and told him what had happened. When he got home from work, I couldn’t even look at him in the eyes, I didn’t wanna kiss him, I didn’t even wanna touch him because I truly felt like he betrayed me. I’m a heavy chain smoker like I’m talking 6-7 blunts a day sometimes but nonetheless we smoke at least 3 blunts a day for the past 3 years and then I just quit cold Turkey and just after a day or two my anxiety just got so bad I mean still now I feel betrayed by my bf, I feel anger towards him or like he’s about to cheat or something. I am a deeply insecure, fearful person when it comes to my relationship (my parents relationship was toxic and abusive and I witnessed everything, my biggest fear is that I turn out like my dad and that I ruin all of my relationships because of my traumas, fears, insecurities and paranoia) and idk did quitting weed cause this??? 

I also began my spiritual journey this week and learned I have psychic abilities. So I’m like ok is this my spirit guide bringing me knowledge on things like this to keep me aware of the man I’m with? Or is it my spirit guide allowing these fears and insecurities to consume me as a test? Or as a way to work through it because they’ve been suppressed for so long? 

Is quitting weed something I should do so that I can work through these insecurities??? 

I don’t know what answer I’m looking for I’m just scared I’m going to ruin my relationship because of these delusions! Or are they not delusions???? Are they knowledge I’ve always ignored but was right in front of me the whole time?? My relationship has always felt too good to be true because it’s my first and I’m not the most attractive girl so now I’m starting to feel like it really is too good to be true and my mans gonna play me eventually and I’m just getting warning signs now???

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME IM NOT CRAZY

OR CAN SOMEONE TELL ME IM READING WAY TOO INTO THIS

yes... i have an appointment on Monday to be referred to a psychotherapist because I’m just scared I might have some delusion disorder or what because I’m sure my dad does so what if it’s genetics? (he’s never been diagnosed for anything but he’s experienced this same thing and let it consume him and ruin every relationship around him). 

Idk guys idk