So recently I've started having these vivid dreams, like my insecurities come out as nightmares. For example I drempt that an evil spirit killed my daughter and I woke up at 3am from it and ran to her room praying that it wasn't true and was glad to see her safe. These dreams have been for 5 nights already and they make me feel like I haven't slept at all really.

I also feel one way or the other:
1. I'm a bad person, the worst person on this planet 

2. The world is doing me wrong as well as everyone in it.

I keep swapping between the two and it is so exhausting. I just want my mind to settle on the in-between so I can not be so conflicted!

I am also having weird memory issues. So I can have huge chunks of my day missing which really gets me on edge since I have a 1 year old.
I also have my memories change on me. For example, the other day I could have sworn I had taken the baby monitor upstairs and threw it on my bed! Like I could take it step by step and re-enact it. (I had actually put it in my front room behind the TV which I had no recollection of and I was so stressed out that I couldn't find the baby monitor and I just broke down in tears)

I just feel so misunderstood right now by my loved ones, I feel that no matter how hard I try it isn't enough and I'm just a failure. I feel that I could be a better mother and partner.

I want to feel in control instead of having everything feel so out of control all the time.