Posting this on my alt because of the subject matter. 

There are a number of behaviors that I try to make a concerted effort not to lean into. I know I can be clingy, jealous, and fragile. I need excessive attention and develop resentment for those who don't provide this, even if for a few minutes. On top of that I feel like I fail at being an adult and often a human being as well. Though I am self aware of these feelings and don't wish to indulge them, I also enjoy finding avenues where I can.

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At present that has been roleplay related kink, primarily age regression.  My partner enjoys it too, so I frequently enter that headspace when I am alone with her. The thing is while it is fun and one of the most satisfying ways to explore my sexuality, it also has been a way to act out behaviors I would otherwise consider toxic. I can squirm whenever I am feeling ignored, cry whenever my feelings are hurt, and physically cling to her even when she is working. Sometimes she even insists. I don't question my identity, committed to the role of being a little kid in need of care taking, and will allow myself to lose a bit of my agency. When she is unwilling or unable to provide those needs, I take to this site to get caretaker reactions from strangers, albeit with more sexual undertones than I'd otherwise desire. That i am seen as desirable makes this even more alluring as I know would come and tend to my needs given the opportunity.

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I cannot tell though whether this is healthy or not. Part of me says this allows me to experience emotions and play out behaviors I would otherwise want to ignore. It gives me a sense of security and makes me feel valid when the world doesn't. On the other hand, I fear that I may be validating those same behaviors and convincing myself that these are okay outside of the context of fantasy. I haven't found my littlespace me leaking into. the rest of my life. But sometimes I fear that I won't be able to keep these headspaces separate

If anybody else has experience this, have you found it helpful or unhealthy? Does playing out your insecurities sooth or exacerbate them?