I knew it when I met this amazing woman she was going to be the end of me. Seeing all the red flags, her NPD, her self-sabotaging every step of the way.

And yet every day I fell more and more in love, no matter how many small cuts a day she’d inflict on me. And then her self-proclaimed prophecy came true.

I bought her the perfect bouquet and she loved them. Asked me to hang out over the weekend. Ghosted me the next day when I felt down. Ghosted me again when we were supposed to hang out. I tried to play it off but I really needed an excuse and it was the final cut before I broke. She knew it too, she knew how bad I needed for her to just simply comfort me.

Two months later my head still feels like it’s going to explode. I didn’t want to outright leave her but I knew her kryptonite was expressing feelings. And I told her everything, how much I loved her, our future plans together, pretty much the worst possible thing you can do.

Silent treatment. My abandonment triggers amongst the built up anxiety having to fight her FA/DA attachment style every day. I held on for a month trying to fix things, tried getting her a job with me, which inevitably sealed the deal on our fate.

I never would have thought at 28yo I would have the worst break of my life. Being also schizoaffective bipolar, fighting to make the relationship work while hallucinating and splitting just destroyed me even more, what a fucking loser I am.

If I ever see her with an abusive boyfriend because I couldn’t control myself I don’t think I’ll have the capability to continue. I hope to God please please don’t let her get hurt. Please.