I feel like ive couped up so much depression over the years in myself but ill never tell anyone because if i say it it becomes more real and people treat u differently, i write alot and express my sadness alot through healthy coping mechanisms i think? Like i have books and journals, heaps of them that no one knows about. I feel like im living a double life being happy on the outside when ive been writing about being sad since i was 16. honestly i know what messed me up but i dont think ill ever be able to come to terms with it. I hope i fix it one day. Its been 4/5 years nd i still feel hurt. But yeah idk i think im supressing it more these days but its whatever ill get over it