Now that I’ve seen this in myself I can’t stop seeing it in every aspect of my life. 
I can’t let go of people who clearly don’t care about me because ‘maybe they’ll care one day’.
I can’t let go of arguments because I’ll never accept that I’m wrong, or that it’s ok to resolve an argument- I hate you forever !!
I can’t let go of that one mean thing that person who probably doesn’t remember me said 6 years ago, and I hope they rot in hell haha that’ll teach them. 
Every problem, feeling, person, situation.. I carry that now. Even if I do let go of an ex (unlikely) you’re still in my heart, I won’t let go of how you hurt me, how you changed me and abused my trust. I’m always feeling some type of ridiculous way about something or other.

Can I just have some peace and quiet in my brain? I don’t know why all my actions and thoughts have to be so full of anxious energy it’s exhausting.

Anyway this turned into a bit of a rant I’m not sure what my point is can someone zap the BPD out of brain I’m going into overdrive.. 