Honestly i’m not sure what to do, and I don’t think there is much I can do. While my problems aren’t very severe and I’m not an immediate threat to myself or others, I feel like I just can’t keep waiting for progress like this. I feel like I possibly have high functioning depression because i’ve been feeling like this for 2 1/2 years now, but I definitely feel like I can’t do it for another 2.5. I am also concerned about the amount of time it will take to make progress in therapy. 

I know that people say that making true change takes time but I feel like I don’t have that time anymore. I’ve been trying so hard to just keep my life together and stop it from getting any worse but I feel like I can’t keep doing that forever, ya know? Honestly, even though I don’t think my depressive symptoms are that bad and it is high functioning, I kinda want to cheat and possibly see a psychiatrist so I can just speed up the process. Is this that bad of an idea. What if i’m not depressed enough for meds but I end up getting put on them anyways, could it mess me up? 

People say that therapy takes time, but I feel like I don’t have time. I feel like if I don’t get better soon then it will start to have some major impacts in my life. I don’t want to come off to my therapist, who I just met today, or possibly a psychiatrist if I end up seeing one that i’m just drug seeking but that’s low key kinda what i’m trying to do.