I don't remember how I found you guys. 

But when I started reading the books, ( I hate you,don't leave me) I felt like I was reading my bibliography. 

All the puzzle pieces clicked.

And now I'm here trying to find therapy. I have great insurance. I'm a paramedic and I purchased 'gold' coverage through my work. 


But finding a therapist has been the hardest and most discouraging thing. I finally picked out a place, they take my insurance, they do DBT, but they're 45 minutes away. I was even admitted there once for suicide attempt as a teenager. And now I'm reading more and more and I don't think I'll be considered a candidate because I'm too functional. I'm not suicidal enough, not aggressive enough, don't abuse substances enough. What the hell. Makes me just want to give up. 