I kind of drifted away from some friends because of my episodes. Where I was sad and just didn’t wanna talk to anyone at all. Eventually it led to us barely talking which I didn’t mind.  At some point started to isolate where I barely use social media but it’s not even like they tried to contact me that whole time. 

Never said anything like I need space or something like that. Just out of nowhere after New Years they just never talked to me and I just assumed they got busy and weren’t talking with each other either cuz it has happened before. But today I saw them post being together with our other friend who apparently had come to visit.

It just made a knot in my stomach, because we talked about ice skating together etc but they did it with that friend instead and went on a weekend cruise. 

I’ve been in a trio before and it didn’t end up well, but now it feels like I have been replaced by that friend visiting.

They haven’t even said anything about that friend coming to town. It makes me feel like absolute shit. Do they find me boring or are they tired of me? I don’t know. I try not to care but I always keep going back to looking at what they post.

It’s a shitty feeling of emptiness and feeling replaced or just being a burden.