Tldr; I’m dating a perfectly normal guy and am unsure if his feelings for me are genuine because of his lack of serious relationships. I would like input/stories/personal experience.


I recently started dating a guy (41) who is absolutely the most amazing man I’ve ever met. I feel like I’ve won the god damned lottery. He’s smart, successful, funny, well educated, so kind and thoughtful I can’t comprehend it. Attractive, tall, in shape, no kids, never married, no history of addiction, abuse, mental illness, arrests, is close to family, has friends and healthy hobbies.... and he likes me!?!?!? 

And there’s me... so I would considered myself recovered from BPD for the most part. At 34 I have a great career, decent credit, a firm grasp of my addictive personality, I’m in shape, have a good relationship with most my family, have awesome hobbies, am well travelled, enough friends to keep me happy... but I also have a history of drug abuse, addiction, mental illness, self harm, instability, mood swings... and, well, you all know... BPD shit. I also still have the eternal boredom which seems to be the building block of our souls, massive impulsivity and my relationships tend to be tumultuous due to my “on/off” nature. 

So here’s the issue... this guy, as wonderful as he is, has never been in a serious relationship and rarely dated. He says it’s because he was a late bloomer and shy and I believe that. But things are moving kinda fast. After a month I’m already keeping stuff at his house, we’ve planned a vacation, met each other’s family, he’s hinted at me moving in with him. I’m all about it!!! Of course I am!!!! I know older couple who moved fast and are super happy. But I can’t shake the feeling that he’s only with me because he doesn’t know how good he is. Like, he’s so normal he should be with someone else who is normal and I’m being selfish by dating him and not encouraging him find someone better suited... :/  I know a lot of it is the shame from who I was when I was younger, which is dumb because it made me who I am now and I’m kinda awesome, but I can’t help but feel like I don’t deserve him... 

This is what I’m looking for I guess. Are any of you in Normal healthy relationships with normal healthy people? Did you go through the same thing? How did you get over it? Sorry this was so long but I feel like he’s the one and I don’t wanna fuck it up due to shitty insecurities and silly fears.... 