My first post.

For a while I have been taking anxiety mediciations. At first it was...decent. Had some nervous breakdowns here and there.


Just started school. New people. Lots of work.

Today I almost had a nervous breakdown.

I was hitting my head. I was pulling my hair. Breathing heavy. 

All because of work.

I am a loser. I am so damn worthless. The only reason why I still exist is because of my parents.

Yet I still feel like shit.

I went to the emergency room and almost went inpatient for self harm.

I just want to be normal.

I hate myself.

I want to be happy. Not faking it to not go back to the hospital.

I hate my intrusive thoughts.

I get so anxious when I am outside.

I get freaked out by bugs. Not a small freak out. But I scream.

I cry and cry and cry.

I hate being catholic.

I wish I could having social anxiety. 

This was just a vent.

Also sorry for calling someone a dumbass. I am sorry for breaking sub rules. I dont want people to think of me as an asshole.

Please forgive me.