For the record, I’m 17 f

So four years ago I stumbled across a YouTube video about BPD and I had never heard about it before so out of curiosity and a slight interest in mental disorders, I watched it. The entire time I just remember thinking “wait- that’s not normal???? Oh, so THAT'S what that awful feeling is!) And decided to look into the disorder more. To this day I still think there’s a chance I could have it. I have experienced almost all the symptoms to an extent and at the very least five that affect my daily life. The real kicker is I started noticing these feelings and symptoms after my childhood best friend suddenly ghosted me (I was 11 at the time) which led me to think if I act like my true self around anyone they will leave. I don’t explode emotionally very often like most people with BPD would but when I do it’s very intense and usually over nothing (I scream cried at my parents about how my best friend was going to kill herself (a lie) because they wouldn’t let me have a sleepover type of thing) which leads me to believe I have the quiet type. I’ve read up on it and watched countless videos by patients and doctors and I relate to everything word for word.

I’m scared to bring it up because I’m afraid I’m wrong. My parents would always call me a drama queen all the time when I was a kid and I guess that mentally crossed over into my late teens. I’m scared to complain or show emotion over anything and that fear is making this difficult to bring up.

I’m not saying I for sure have it because at the end of the day I’m a teenager with no formal education on the subject but every time I try to convince myself I’m just being dramatic the idea just won’t leave my head. I guess you could say it’s an amateur gut feeling.

So, should I just mention it with my GP next time I see him or wait till I get a therapist? I’ve already seen a psychiatrist once and tried to mention the symptoms when I could but he just wanted to talk about my anxiety.

TLDR: my experience with mental health fits nearly perfect with the definition and criteria of borderline personality disorder but I’m afraid I’m wrong and if I bring it up with a doctor I’ll just come across as an angsty teenager :)