Just to start of with sorry if my English is bad it's 6am i can't sleep more than 5 to 6 hours, and  English is my second language. So lately i have been wanting to cry but whenever i get to the point of crying i just turn really numb. My anger issues are getting worse, my thoughts are a mess. so some backstory my ex was an alcoholic and we broke up a month ago it was a lot of on and off because she started to hit me and get me to drink and take my freedom when we were together i wasn't allowed to sleep or use my phone to espace they wanted to have kids and again tried to force me into having them by lying about taking birth control and after she told me one drunken night she said that we could either have kids or break up i loved her so much i told myself it was worth it still we went on holiday to norway and she kick me in my face where i just lost it throw her to the ground and ran away and i just started crying and thought i don't want my kids to grow up in this hell of a relationship so i broke up with her. She still calls me late at night. Now to more of how i am doing today and lately. I can't cry anymore still i can't go to school, i can't even sleep on time either way to early or late at night like i said my head Is a giant mess and i don't know what to do anymore

Thanks in advance and thank you so much for reading this and i hope some of you have any ideas 
And i apologize for any Grammer mistakes