I'm this weird person who doesn't care about themselves. Doesn't care about their looks. Tries not to care about what others think. Tries to steer clear of friendships. Because they make me weak. I fight everyday the urge to be too friendly. I try to be neutral, but I am regarded either as naive or too distant.


I don't like myself. There's not much about me. But I'm in my own universe. I can stay here for hours. I don't need others. I can't spend more than 3 hours with a person just hanging out without feeling bored. And I'll end up feeling lonely. Yup. And I'll almost blast you out when I crawl out of my cave. For the first 2 hours, I'll be nice, talkative, too talkative, showing lots of sympathy. In the 3rd hour, I'll start doubting every word you said, you'll be evilish and sadistic in my eyes. And then... there's the boredom. Emptiness. Nothing left to say.


I lack empathy. I just don't get the concept of 'if I were in your shoes'. My advice would be extremely biased because of my own related experiences and influenced by my mood. I am me. Because I am me, I cannot even imagine what it'd be to be you. I will be happy for great things that happen to me. Overjoyed.  Crushed by my struggles. But I wouldn't bat an eyelid if I heard your story. Unless I somehow correlate it with mine.