I need help. I need a therapist. I found one. It'll be a miracle if I'm able to see them but it's the only person I've seemed to "connect with" in a sense of I like their profile. Because if I can not see at least *a therapist* period. I'm gonna go insane. 

I try to be resilient I try to reach out and tell my parents about my needs but I get ignored. I feel trapped as a disabled dependant adult. I've been having intrusive thoughts about stuff but I would never actually hurt anyone. I know it's because of my trauma and I need to talk about it. But if I dont I'm going to erupt. Yet I still don't want to go to a mental hospital. I feel like a terrible person. I'm stuck in hell. If I could even just get away from my parents. I feel that would significantly increase my mental health. But I don't have a job, I couldn't afford a place to live or any necessities like that. I know therapists cost money. I know you're in debt. But its not fucking fair to me. You caused many of my issues damn it. Maybe some of it was my fault but even still. I hate this. I'm gonna loose my fucking mind.