To start things off I do not own a car so when I have to go to places I have to either walk or ride my bike meaning I am in public quiet a bit and I just feel like everyone Is out to get me like they are all part of something that is some way going to harm me, like part of my head tells me I'm being stupid but then the other half tells me that the woman that is looking at me wants to Kill me and its like everyone parents, siblings everything I am now 17 and it's been happening like this for about 6 years another thing is that I do want to go to a therapist but then my brain tells me that they will give me medication that will sedate me so that people can attack me this is a massive argument as I don't want to feel this way and it's a not effecting my life on the outside but on the inside it's all I think about, I don't think it helps that I have no one to talk to as I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone also for some reason with my small group of friends i am the one that  anyone can say anything and I won't care which is true but I just feel like they are out to get me and last thing is that whenever I get nervous or anxious I really badly want to just attack myself I never would but its not just small things it's like big things that would hurt very badly.

Any help would be massively appreciated, I don't really know how to go around the whole therapy thing 17 M UK BTW