i'm new to reddit, so i apologise if there is some social protocol i'm not following or if i fuck something up here.

so, ever since i was a teenager i've struggled with my mental health. back then i was seeing a school counselor, it was mostly for extreme social anxiety and problems i was having in my home life. the tipping point that made seek help was after i began self harming, usually when feeling great amounts of stress and frustration around the situation i was going through at home. i would storm up to my room and cut myself, but it was never too badly, in fact the only scars i have are invisible to most people, i only ever see them when i look really hard for them. i wasn't self harming because i wanted to die, i don't think i've ever wanted to die. in fact, i actually have a huge fear of death. in the last few years the fear has gotten much worse, every time i leave the house, one of my first thoughts is always about how i need to stay alert in case somebody tries to assault me or mug me or kill me. every time my dad leaves the house i feel like i'm holding my breath until he gets back, when he does get back, i feel an immense sense of relief that he didn't die.

my sister was diagnosed with bpd years ago, after she self harmed to an extreme extent, and at the time when she described her diagnosis to me, i was very young and didn't find any relation to it within myself at all. but since then my mental situation has changed a lot, and around a year ago i finally accepted that i was in the worst place mentally that i had ever been. ever since then i've been researching my symptoms, my problems, the way i've been feeling, and when i came across information about bpd, it felt like a eureka moment. it was like somebody had looked into my brain, and put into words everything that i had been feeling, and it put my whole life into perspective, i started realising things about myself, why it's so hard for me to keep relationships, why i struggle with my self identity, why i keep physically reinventing myself and feeling utterly bored with who i am. why my feelings change for people so quick, and why i become so obsessed with people who i develop feelings for. every single one of the 9 symptoms resonate with me so much, except for the one about suicidal behavior.

now, i know you don't need to experience every symptom in order to have bpd, and i really do, whole -heartedly, genuinely believe that bpd is what i have. but i'm so curious about how i could even go about seeing a psychiatrist or not being taken seriously just because i don't feel suicidal, or struggle with self harm. i've watched so many videos about how people were diagnosed with bpd, and every single one of them involves self harm. so, if anybody has dealt with a similar situation to me before, or got a bpd diagnosis without struggling with suicidal thoughts/self harm, i would really appreciate some advice or hearing about your experiences. i really want to prioritise my mental health and take steps toward becoming a more rational and calm person, but i have no idea how to make sure i'm taken seriously. like in an ideal world i would love to make a doctors appointment, turn up, explain how i'm feeling and request that i see a psychiatrist, but i've read that sometimes doctors hate when you try to do their  job for them, and it makes them think you're lying. it's so frustrating knowing the exact type of help you want but not knowing how to get it. i don't want to lie and say i'm suicidal, it's genuine help i want, and i can't get that if i'm not being honest. 

if anyone takes the time to reply to this, i'd really, truly appreciate it.

i'm 22, male, and from the uk if that information helps at all.