hi, i been diagnosed with severe depression a few years ago been on celexa for a few months and started wandering if it was some sort of placebo or something else because besides the dry mouth and diarhea i never experienced any difference on the emotional aspect i was still a cold person that isnt down to do anything but play games i dont even like on the computer to get through days and eventually i stopped taking it went through the withdrawals and all that. now im medless for a few months  and i got a lot of problems with motivation, i fucked the relation with my girlfriend wich is now my ex that im not even sure if i love. one of my 3 cats passed away on december 22. im freakin out when i think of my future as i imagine it dark and hopeless like an old fart who fucked up everything he ever had, and i get mad panic attacks all day. i cant organize either, it takes incredible effort just to clean up my crib or to look for another appartment because i have to leave on feb. 1st.  
my life is a mess and im scared of how its will go down in the next few months or years.  
im swirlin down to pathetism a bit deeper everyday and i feel like i dont have what it takes to get out of this misery i put myself through.