Overall I am doing well but my treatment session today stirred up a bit of anxiety. I used to love fall and winter but historically I seem to get most out of control emotionally during this time of the year. I know a lot of people have a hard time around the holidays especially those of us who have a hard time being around family or those with family issues. Around this time last year I got out of the hospital and I know and can see how much progress I have made in the last year but I still feel nuts/sad/unfulfilled. I have a really hard time truly expressing how I feel because I usually assume someone else's pain is greater than mine so I don't want to burden them with my feelings, or that whatever I feel doesn't matter that much so why talk about it if I am going to misunderstood, berated or shrugged off. I am venting here and working towards overcoming the BPDness and bettering myself. 
Do any of you wisdom warriors have any advice/input for a chick who:

- wants to be a part of the family without reverting back into past pathologies and roles?
- standing up to continued emotional abuse? 
- ways of dealing with past trauma brought on by environmental changes?
- letting go of recovery time expectations?
- dealing with families expectation and pressure of getting well and being "normal"?
- what to say if I don't know exactly what I am feeling?

Thank you in advance for taking the time to read or for any input. : )

UPDATE: I recently bought a book called "Surviving A Borderline Parent" it's written by Kimberlee Roth and Freda B. Friedman (my mum is not officially diagnosed but she exhibits many BPD traits). It has been quite an insightful read so far. It is helping  understand a lot of my emotions and pain, and it provides a lot of examples that validate my sad childhood experience.  I'm not even finished with the book yet but I already feel a weight lifting and a new understanding of my emotions and feelings.
If you're not getting along with your family, I highly recommend reading this to gain a different view on your experience. 

Thank you again for your wonderful replies : )