I had severe panic attacks, breakdown, and hallucinations all in one week, 3 weeks ago due to stress in my work. I was in the midst of working by that time and I'm high-functioning when it comes to my episodes so in my mind by that time, I was just focusing on delivering my task without knowing that my episodes were already severe.

Now, I am fully recovered and somewhat stable. But I can't stop thinking about those days that I got my episodes. I can't shake off the shame, guilt, and sadness upon realizing all the things that I did during my episode. I realized that I was being a bother to my workmates because I can't calm down since I got a little situation with my work by that time, which also resulted me doing some sht decisions.

It kinda freaked out my workmates and thought I was really weird since they didn't know that I was already having episodes. Now, I put a stigma on me and my mental health issue because of my performance at work. 

Also, with my hallucinations. It feels so awful now that I realized that I hallucinated and was talking by myself because of so many thoughts that I had by that time. It was like the worst overthinking that I had. My mom and cousins were also freaked out and got worried because of it.

It was really a mess. I just can't shake off this uncomfortable feeling of shame/embarassment, guilt, and sadness. So I am asking here how do you deal with the aftermath of your severe episodes especially if it deals with so much people? I know that we also should take responsibility of whatever we did wrong during our episodes but I just want to stop overthinking about those days that I got severe since I am recovering now. It hinders my sleep hence another possible episode again.


Thank you for reading if you reached at the end and I am sorry if I kinda don't make sense. As of writing, I don't have sleep because I suddenly went manic and my overthinking worsened again so my thoughts are kinda racing right now. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you again~