I have been representing fellow colleagues through the redundancy process at work while also facing the threat of redundancy myself. 

I find I’m able to support others through the process better than I am able to support myself.

I have resorted to various forms of self medications; alcohol and otherwise. I know it is not healthy but it’s helping to numb things, in the evenings specifically. I won’t pretend that this has been restricted to this time specifically as I have been eating THC gummies before then because life in general is a bit overbearing. My mum is going through incurable cancer, and I don’t feel like I’m progressing. My personal development seems to be suffering even as I am studying and working on personal projects but I don’t know how to maintain a healthy sober state that helps me. When I am sober, I feel I can do things but I always crave an escape.

I would be appreciative if anybody has any advice on how I can improve on my condition or what practices I can follow to build confidence to keep from intoxication and also general coping mechanisms. 

It’s hard to explain, but I feel helpless but also determined so it feels like a complex blend. 

Any advice or welcome.