I've been really unhappy with my therapist lately. Like, I basically talk about how I fuck everything up for myself and no solutions are really offered. We were going to start one-on-one DBT but they decided my depression is more of a priority. (Like, hi maybe I wouldn't be depressed if I had some kind of control over any facet of my being?) 
So I kind of did a shitty thing and went to another place right after my session to see if they would be able to help me. Basically I was looking for a real psychiatric evaluation and this office only offers this if you stay with them for therapy so I figured I'd see what they were like. It turns out that not only was that intake session just kind of awful (my appointment started late, the person I saw was super condescending and then rushed me out the door because the office was closing), but there's a chance they're going to call my current therapist (I'd signed the waivers for this not really thinking anything of it until it was too late) because I'd previously said if this works out I'd be willing to stop seeing them. Like I don't know if they would really do that but it seems kind of fucked up if I'm literally explaining to them I don't know how any of this works?

Basically I don't want to deal with either of them now and am seeking other venues to get the help I actually need, but I also feel guilty about not telling first therapist I was going to try and seek treatment elsewhere. And now I have to call both places and let them know I'm done. I'm just really awful and feel like the entirety of the mental healthcare system is a cruel joke. 

Has anyone else had an impossible time trying to find ACTUAL help? Everything just feels like a dead end and I just feel really out of control lately.