does anyone know how to make having a favourite person be any easier ?? 
i love my fp so much they’re so kind and also very understanding of the fact that i have bpd and that it’s super hard for me but oh my god i would give absolutely ANYTHING to stop having a fp. 
it’s so tiring for not only me but for them. i’m so scared that my emotional attachment and the way i rely on them to determine every little thing about myself is going to push them away so far that they hate me entirely and i then ruin the first real friendship i’ve ever had. i also would never EVER want them to feel uncomfortable or pressured to do anything/ be any certain way because of me and i’m so scared that that’s what’s happening. i think it also makes it 10 times worse that i know it’s happening and know what it is. like if i was obliviously being so attached, i probably wouldn’t
be so worried as to wether or not theyre going to hate me if i send them a message more than once a day. 
ugh. 
i’m so tired. i hate bpd so fucking much. if anyone has ANY advice , literally ANY , it would be more than much appreciated.