so i’m 15 and i have MDD, PTSD and anxiety, i’ve been hospitalized twice one for 2 and a half months and the other was a short term. i’ve gone to therapy since i was around 12 and i was diagnosed when i was 12. i have suicidal ideations and have almost done it. it’s been almost 11 months since i’ve self harmed and i started when i was 12. i got out of the long term hospital around 9 months ago. i’ve always had big goals and i wanted to be a neurosurgeon but i’m failing school again even after getting caught up in the hospital last year   i’m so scared to not be successful and happy because to me school is so important but even if i do better for a few years MDD is a lot of times a life-long disorder i just want to be able to make my dreams come true but i see my peers and stuff posting on social media and hanging out with people and having boyfriends. i used to have a lot of friends even when i was depressed but then covid hit and i moved this year plus being in a hospital the whole summer and i’m doing online school i just feel like my future is so bleak i don’t know what i should do