As of lately I just don’t understand anything anymore. I get so frustrated and depressed. I’ve gone out with friends and as soon as I get back home it’s back to nothing. I’ve gone to therapy and it helped some but not much. I’ve tried medication but I had terrible side effects and honestly I’m afraid if I had access to medication I’d over use or attempted something. I was diagnosed with HSV1 when I was 17 and I’m now 31 and I still feel horrible. I’ve never gotten over the stigma or my life back. So much has happened in my life and I hate victimizing myself but some days it just feels like it’s never going to end. I just want to feel safe. I lose track of time,sleep, hygiene, and I can’t seem to remember things correctly any more. I feel like my life is thing big secret to everyone I love and I’m struggling alone and idk how to open up but I’m so tired of the internal screams and cycling thoughts.