No matter how hard I try to be better, to be a person worth sticking around for, every person I've trusted with everything has left. I feel like trash nobody loves. I feel ugly and stupid and worthless. I want to die but I know ill change my mind eventually. I just want the pain to stop. I hate existing like this. It hurts. I'm tired. People tell you you're crazy for the paranoia of abandonment. Then they bail and don't stick around to say sorry for the 180. Why am I worth nothing. Why am I always left alone. What's wrong with me that makes me so fucking unlovable. 