My therapist emailed me yesterday to cancel our appointment for this Wednesday. She offered several rescheduled dates for next week to choose from. I’ve yet to respond and am questioning whether or not I will.

The ‘normal’ part of my mind tells me to simply respond and reschedule. Therapy has been excellent of late. It’s begun to make a marked difference to my life. It has by no means reached a crescendo, but after 6 months of avoidance and intellectualizing as a defense mechanism we’ve finally made great inroads.

The BPD part of my mind wants me to withhold any response. Partly as a purely childlike behavior which at it’s core attempts to elicit an excessive emotional response, where she feels ‘bad’ for cancelling and panders to my infantile needs. Partly as the classical method of pushing someone away in the hopes of eliciting a caring response which is solely instigated from their side, free from obvious or overt prompting.

Very odd, this condition, amongst other things.