Had an awful last few days following being told my diagnosis wasn't formal like the psychiatrist told me it was.

Fighting with boyfriend, constant paranoia, feeling down, picking at everything, generally being in a bad mood.

Last night had another fight and went to bed feeling completely nothing - just numb. Had a terrible, scary dream about boyfriend basically going to someone else instead of me and showing them video footage of us having sex to get advice. Felt like cheating, it was awful. Woke up sad. Day not getting better. Having to do work and muddle through and have business meetings but also dealing with a girl posting on Facebook claiming to have BPD by...asking what the symptoms are. Does my head in. Just feeling sad. 

Also finally plucked up the courage to call my DBT woman to ask about the diagnosis. Explained it really bothered me and it had taken me so long to get a concrete answer and now it doesn't seem real. She said 'I'll sort it' and that when I'm worried about it just to hold onto the fact that the doctor told me three times its definitely BPD. I feel so pathetic and stupid for this bothering me so much. I guess it's a little more confirmation from her but it's still not the same. Idk. 