Tw\ Abuse, Sexual Harrasment, Trauma






First of all I want to start this story off by saying this is all true, and if this blows up I'll give out the name of the school.

I started out at this school in elementary, I had no friends and was already being bullied a couple of days in. I was closeted (gay) and I was bullied heavily by many students and teachers. Soon after they started hitting and pushing me, then they would throw cheese on me and call me a rat and make fun of my front two teeth ( which look normal looking back) I kept telling the principal but he would just get one of the main bullies in the office and force ME to confront him, but I was having panic attacks everytime I was near him, along with this I would have a severe panic attack every day because at this school if you don't do homework you get called into the office for swats(spankings with a big paddle) but things only get worse from here.

Middle school is where things go from children bullying and teachers just being rude to full on abuse and law breaking.

I was extremely depressed by 6th grade and later was starting to be forced into sports( the school makes you do band or sports or both) and I chose to be a water  boy instead of a football player. 
I had to do laundry and practice with them etc

But one day in the boys changing room the main bully (well call him Alex) got mad at me for changing in the corner (I was insecure about my body)

Alex: *pulls me out of the corner* why are you hiding from me? Why don't you wanna change in front of me?

Me: I just don't want anyone looking at me, it's not about you. Please give me my clothes back.

I was so ashamed and embarrassed, but it got worse from here, Alex would grope me when I would pass him in the hall way or classroom and would endlessly harrass me. I finally decided to tell the coaches and this is what happened.

Me: Coach @&amp;# Alex is doing really creepy things to me and forcing me to change in front of him

Coach: YOU'RE LYING!! YOU JUST WANT THAT TO HAPPEN TO YOU FAGGOT!!

Then he proceeded to give me swats and yell at me, my (abusive) friend was there with me for "moral" support and never stood up for me ever.

Meanwhile everyday I was being abused by the 2 completely different principals in the midde-highschool, the elementary principal was actually really cool but he had to follow stupid and abusive rules. But we'll call the Principal who was also a Coach Manny and we'll call the Overall (main) Principal Egghead (because he's mean )

Egghead would give me increasing numbers of swats everyday for not doing a homework assignment but I was so horribly depressed I couldn't muster the energy to do anything.

And he would insult me every time he saw me, if he didn't feel like swatting me he would make Manny, Manny had less of a problem with me but he didn't like me either, he thought I was a delinquent even though I had all A's and B's from test grades (we took alot so hw didn't matter) and I never acted up.

I went to Egghead about the bullying problem and he said "maybe that's what you need to grow up"

I had to leave and I cried in the bathroom for half an hour and Alex somehow found me in there and pushed me against the wall and called me a faggot.

This pushed me over the edge and I attempted suicide later that day, however as I was only around 11 I didn't know that Benedryl wasnt lethal if you took a whole bottle and I ended up having a panic attack and told my mom, we went to the er and they told her I was fine.

Soon after my mother went up to the school (she didn't mention the suicide attempt)and Egghead assured her "no students would bully me"

And magically for about 2 weeks I was safe.

But soon after Alex and a couple of his friends stole all of my clothes and pushed me (naked) into a stall. Alex was looking me up and down then started making fun of me and held the door closed while his other friend grabbed a shower head and they doused me with freezing cold water and then boiling hot and then cold.

After that I was just so broken, I couldn't do it anymore, I was so depressed I didn't feel anything anymore, I was empty, looking back I don't even consider myself as alive at the time.

A couple of years while this was all still happening to me a lose it.

I get called to the office for my daily swats and Egghead decides to make me wait and extra 20 minutes and the bell rings so I assume he forgot about me and tried to go to class. Of course the second I get to class, Egghead, Manny,and 1 other storm into the classroom and yell at me in front of everyone, humiliating me in front of one of the few kind teachers and my only real friend. I was pissed.

We go to the office, I had an epiphany.......I have free will, I'm allowed to say no, I don't have to put up with it anymore.

I started crying and I said "I'm not going in there"(his office )

Egghead gets instantly pissed "Well look who thinks he's in charge" as he laughs at me with the secretary (who he slept with often at school)
He calls me a "faggot"

I'm enraged

I tell him "I'm done with you, I'm not doing this anymore, I can't" 

He calls my mom and tries to lie to her to make me look evil, my mom comes up to the school and I stood up for myself and immediately ran into her van crying and telling her I'm not going back. She tries to convince me to but I told her I've been begging to leave for nearly a decade and I just can't put up with it for her anymore (I haven't told her everything that happened to me, just that I was bullied) and she marches inside and I'm crying harder than I ever have, I was hysterical. My class was heading to an outdoor center and they all saw me and we're giggling as they passed and it made me so embarrassed.

Soon my mom comes outside and tells me she took all of us out of the school and that were going home.


When I get home, I have a message it was from one of Alex's friends saying
 
"I'm so sorry, I heard about everything.
We treated you like shit and I did too, I'm so sorry,                I literally can't stop thinking about how fucked up it is,we were all uncomfortable with the creepy sexual stuff he would do to you we just didn't know what to do or say, if there's anything I can do let me know."

First of all he want even that bad the only thing he really did was mild name calling and he stole my clothes a couple times, but it meant alot because it validated the way I felt. His father was also the only kind coach other than one other (Im only talking about the male coaches)

They have cameras in the school but idk if they work and I'm worried about sharing my story because they might try to sue or something and they own the cameras and footage.

Also alot of it happened in the locker rooms where there are no cameras so it might be a bad idea to give out the name of the school but I'm so tired of hiding what happened to me because of fear and I'm scared that it may still be happening even though they have a new principal.

What should I do? Also please give me advice because I have so much trauma from this entire experience, the rest of my life was also traumatic and this just sprinkled a little more on.

I'm gonna post this in other Reddit threads to get my story outvjust so you know.

Thank you for reading all of this, I really mean it from the bottom of my heart.ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ