3 years ago it was man A. Then last summer it was man B. Now I just finished my cycle with Man(boy rather) C. 
I now notice a pattern that I become infatuated with a man and think they are my twin flame and text them non stop 24/7 for an average pf 6-8 months. All the while people around me telling me how much of losers they are and asking me why am I even talking to them because I’m way out of their league including the guys themselves. I genuinely don’t see it that way at the time, I think I’m in love. Then suddenly after months of doting on these creeps I realize that those around me were right because they are nothing but low life ‘scum’ guys who are burn outs, weirdos and oftentimes outcasts. and then after my realization I give them the ‘I don’t want to speak to you ever again because I don’t resonate with you anymore and our relationship is toxic’ ordeal and stop talking to them just like that, with extreme bitterness that I became so close to them. I become ashamed and confused as to why I even let them in in the first place. Disgusting is what I feel afterwards, and utterly confused with myself. I’m never doing this again.