At the end of last year, everyone at my school was given an empty list to write down people we’d want in our class the next year. I have 4 friends in the group I hang out with and we’re pretty close. The list had 5 slots and technically I didn’t have to fill the whole thing out, but instead I filled in the last slot with someone I’d only met that year and become quite good friends with.

This person was in my class last year and I’d had a great time talking with her and two other people (who are in their friend group). One of my friends from my friend group was in that class with me too, and now that I think about it, they might’ve been helping me feel less awkward talking to new people.

But anyway, you’re guaranteed to get at least one person on your list, and I since I’d put all my friend group in the higher preferences, I didn’t think much of the extra person as it was unlikely I’d end up in a class with only them from my list.

Well, skip to this year, and that’s exactly what happened. Not only that, but the rest my friend group in split in pairs between two other classes. So that means 2 in one class, 2 in another and me on my own. 

Not only that, but in my spur of the moment list writing, I failed to remember that the new friends I made last year have friends of their own, who have been courteous to me so far, but I’m worried they find me annoying because I’ve kind of latched into them since they’re the only ones I know in my new class.

I’m worried that me being on my own without at least one person in my friend group is gonna make us drift. I know that’s irrational, especially since we were partially separated last year and we’re fine.

There’s also the fact that most of our subjects are electives at this stage, so the class I’m talking about is only for English, religion and sports. The rest are subjects are personalised to the student, so the classes are switched around for them and I’m with at least one close friend for each. 

Therefore, I really know I shouldn’t be this anxious, but I keep thinking that I’ve cut myself off from my friends and ruined my whole year by failing to think ahead last year with that list. This could’ve easily been avoided if I’d just stuck to my main friends.

Really really sorry for the long post, and it kinda reads like a venting post, but I haven’t been able to catch a break from feeling anxious and catastrophizing for over 3 days now.