I just noticed this post I made 4 months ago was deleted out of nowhere. I don't really want to go through all the bureaucracy of getting it reinstated so I figured I'd repost it

 So I know that's a bold statement. But here me out. As typical of pretty much everyone born since the 80s, I was into games ever since I was little. Got my Wii when I was 6, played Turok with my half-brother on his old gaming device, and poured hours into Minecraft. So as soon as I saw the trailer for Fallout 4 back in 2015 I was immediately hooked. I’ve always been a history buff along with being fascinated by dystopias and American nostalgia so Fallout seemed right up my alley. I was even more hyped when I saw a video from a YouTuber I liked at the time that talked about the Fallout universe and the lore behind it. Sadly I was only 11 at the time so it wasn't likely my parents would let me buy it. But I was patient and by 2017 I was finally able to play. Let me say I absolutely loved it. I thought the story was heart-wrenching and I fell in love with all the characters in the game. Over the next year, I went on to play both 3 and new vegas and loved them just as much.

Although as time went on I started to realize people had different opinions as me. Which is fine. I want to make it clear right now that I do not have a problem with people disliking things I like. In Fact, there are plenty of other opinions in which I hold that are wildly unpopular online. Hell at first I wasn't even mad they disagreed with me. I just saw us as having a differing opinion and left it at that. But as I spent more time online. It became more and more annoying to see some of these fans talk. They seemed to act as if what they loved was objectively superior and then rub it in my face. This post is a good[ example](https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/6zbbx1/to_all_the_bethesda_fanboys_out_there/) and this[ one](https://www.reddit.com/r/virginvschad/comments/g2hlbn/virgin_bethesda_fans_vs_brad_nv_fanboys_vs_chad/). There are a lot more I could show you but I think you get the picture.

Moving along, I was able to tune it all out. Even after Fallout 76 came out. A game that was reviewed so poorly it seemed to vindicate these fanboys. I personally didn't like 76 anyway and figured that most of the hate was independent of the hate for 3 and 4. So I continued to enjoy games as much up until the summer of 2019. But there was one last thing that truly kicked off my depression.

There's a Fallout YouTuber called Oxhorn. He seemed like a decent YouTuber and I was even comforted by the fact that he seemed to be a big name in the community and liked Fallout 4. Well, I soon found that after Fallout 76 came out people were out there trying to cancel him. Some of the things people were saying about him let me down but I saw it as an opportunity to see these people for who they really were. People who were willing to smear someone for what they did or didn't like. People also seemed to side with Oxhorn when it came to his response which got a few hundred thousand views so I was at peace.

Well, as if the universe wanted to fuck me over. The well-respected YouTuber The Right Opinion made his own video on the matter. One that got over a million views and effectively ruined my life. It seemed that the New Vagas fanboys won in the end. Their ability to smear people if they liked something they didn't. Calling them names while jacking off for the game that was special to them without considering what was special to me.

I know this is all just Internet drama. I really shouldn't let it get to me. It's just even when I tried to stay in my little safe spot to enjoy what I liked, these jackasses had to swoop in and spoil the whole experience for me.

Since then things have gotten much worse. Now Everyone praises New Vegas and constantly uses it to one-up 4. It's even extended to real life. I talked with a guy recently who claimed I had a bad taste in character and in games for expressing my opinions on New Vegas. Someone else chimed in and said “You do realize new vegas is the most critically acclaimed fallout game right” A message that’s been repeated to me again and again. Yes, I get it. Everyone fucking loves New Vegas. I loved it too. Everyone also hates Fallout 4. And apparently, I have shit taste in storytelling because I loved it as well. I get it. Maybe you're right. Maybe I’m just one big idiot whose opinions are invalid and no one agrees with them. That’s fine. But why do you gotta rub it in my face?

Now I can't enjoy games anymore. All the fun just seemed to be sucked out of them. The sad part is I only really got to play four mature games on my own. The three Fallout games I already mentioned and a fourth one called “We Happy Few''. But after all this drama. It was taken away from me. The real Irony is that when I finally got the chance to play a game “The Outer Worlds” that was made by the original creators of Fallout, which these New Vegas fanboys were worshiping as a genius. I was already too depressed to play it

It’s not even just Fallout, I can’t play a single game with the excitement and enthusiasm I once did. I guess that’s because of the gaming community in general. The instant fanboyism and hatred for companies that I couldn't give a shit about. I know you’ll probably argue I shouldn't let it get to me. Believe me for the longest time it didn't. But it just became too much. Now I've lost an important part of my life.

It’s because of this I've been severely depressed for the past couple of years. Keep in mind this isn't the only reason I'm feeling this way. I don’t have many friends, I feel as if I fail at everything I do, and I’m just feeling like life has no meaning. So ya know typical depression bull shit. It’s just that gaming was a big coping mechanism for much of my life. So to have it stripped away from me as this has really caused me to become apathetic about pretty much everything. It makes me feel Like I can’t go on any longer.

I actually went berserk recently and made many Reddit posts telling people they fucked up my life. I know that was Insane. But I didn't know what to do. I felt so alone. I felt like I knew one was listening. I went on to post a video onto youtube saying I was going to, you know, end it all. My dumb ass even had the balls to email Ign and demand them to spread my story. I know It’s crazy. Believe me, I was desperate. I just wanted people to understand how I felt. I know no one does. That’s fine. All I know Is I’m just depressed. You don’t have to understand if ya can’t. I just want people to listen.

I know all this sounds dumb. I want to reiterate that this Isn't only just because of games. And Even if it was, they were pretty important to me. A Lot of you guys grew up on games. You must know what it’s like to be my age. It was something that kept me through the day and now it’s gone. I feel like my adolescence has been robbed of me. I was only 15 when I stopped enjoying games. Now I’m 17 and I don’t imagine I’ll have time for them in the future.

I’d like to conclude on one note. If any of you ever held any opinions that were different from mine that’s fine. I’ve always respected them and I will continue to respect them. But if you acted cruelly or did everything you could to make me feel this way then congratulations. It’s because of you that my life feels empty. It’s because of you I’ve lost one of my favorite hobbies. I hope you're happy.