My life is falling apart so I've been ignoring it by escaping into music and marching band, as in that is all I think about all day. Any time I zone out/dissociate, different drum beats start playing and I don't even play drums lol. Anyways so i just completely fucked up during a performance and want to die. Im literally to cry surrounded by hundreds of people. I want to quit and never do music again. There goes my one escape. i don't know how tf I'm going to survive the next week