A little back story (I am sure many can relate) I have not been able to hold down a job longer than a year for the past decade. I am an HVAC journeyman, blue collar all the way ha ha! Anyways, the the universe decided to give me an opportunity that is so big it scares the shit out of me. It’s a transfer to white collar, I am essentially a ceo for this company in their hvac division. The base pay is more than I have ever made in a single year, and the bonuses (if I succeed) are going to dwarf my base pay. Can you see all the triggers there for someone with pb1?

I have a proven track record of quitting when things get hard and I know it’s going to be way hard. I have also walked away from good jobs for stupid shit. It doesn’t leave much room for hope that I will succeed, but despite all that I am loving the job! 

I have a full team to support me, a great budget, a boss that knows I am new to what I am doing, and over 10k current customers to market hvac t. I am not kidding when I say I feel like I’m the shit. Grandiosity is going to be hard to deal with ha ha! 

I use meds, including marijuana overseen through my psychiatrist (although I have always questions if MJ makes my triggers, well more easily pulled.) There are a lot of other stresses that play into my manic/depressive episodes such a home/work balance, house maintenance etc. I have 4 kids, we wanted three, but got twin girls on the last one. My marriage is not on the most stable ground, my fault from a crazy manic episode, and I have recently seen the light and left the LDS church (yay me!) I feel like I am walking through a mine field of triggers with what I have on my play. I feel okay right now, border line manic ha ha. Wish me luck! 

Thanks for reading, am I doomed ha ha!?