I always had anxiety and some depression and has been diagnosed with depression for years but overall it wasn't that bad. Lately being in bad circumstances at home and being too aware that anything bad can happen at any moment made me more depressed than I thought possible. I feel like even if it's possible to keep my mind off of bad things for a while, I'm never going to feel as good as I had years ago, when I just wasn't that aware about the bad qualities of life.

I feel super guilty about being depressed too, I have a boyfriend and he helped me a lot and I really don't wanna bother him with it. I just wanna get it together but it's incredibly hard. I have horrible insomnia, I'm always tired, I have no money for things that could help, and I have to somehow just get better from this starting point. In some ways I'm still hopeful but there's part of me that is like, just give up already.