Im finally starting to recover from depression and anxiety, I know it will take a long time probably years. But at least I’m on my way. But here the things for me I have never felt this bad. My mood swings are extreme. One day I feel alright the next I’m crashing, I have never been this close to taking my own life. I have never felt this bad. My depression usually makes me feel numb, it feel likes my life goes on autopilot. But now I feel sad, angry, hopeless, tired, scared, i hate myself, I feel dead inside, disgusting, ashamed, dumb, I just want it all to stop.

I know this probably have something to do with me turning off my emotions for years. And now I’m slowly starting to let me feel emotions again. That probably a good thing but I seriously don’t know how to handle all these feelings.