A few minutes ago my boyfriend, he is a streamer, raided a friend of his on Twitch. That friend is someone that was in love with him and whilst i know they're just friends that barely talk, i started shaking and told him via text that i wasn't feeling good about what he's done. 
And i know, i k n o w it's nothing, it means nothing. I can't stop this feeling, this panic and anger coming up and end up arguing with him.

I don't wanna harm anyone, i wanna get better, i'm trying to get therapy. I've also come to the point of telling my bf that i need to leave our relationship until i get better because i know this behavior is only going to cause more problems. 

(Everytime i point this out he tells me that he doesn't want me to leave him, that we can do this together but i've reached a point where i don't feel safe anymore)