 So  I'm currently 27, living with a flat mate. I'm diagnosed BPD. I'm not  currently addicted to any drugs. I drink but for the most part its under  control beyond the rare night of binge drinking. I'm in the middle of  doing a masters in comp science. I quit my job in July and beyond a few  days working street food, some random online matched betting and other  low income online stuff. I've been living off savings, getting into debt   and am lucky to have some family support. This however can't last  forever.

I'm fairly content day to day  for the most part. I have a lot of anxiety about my future and lack of  ability to actually progress in life.

However  I am just starting not to see the point in going on like this. I don't  really have anything to live for, any goal or real meaning. I know I  don't want a job,  every job I've had has made me utterly miserable. A  9-5 sounds like hell to me. I have been trying to make it work alone  doing work from home stuff but I don't have the capacity, discipline or  ability to do that to a point I can earn enough money to sustain myself.  The only option I'm really thinking might be feasible for my life is  once my degree is over to just pack it all up, sell everything I have  and become voluntarily homeless and see how long I can last just  wandering. The happiest I've ever been was when I was travelling,  granted I had a lot more money then in savings which I burned up.   Obviously there's a lot of fear to that, the streets are not a safe  place and I leave myself vulnerable to all sorts hence why I say it  might lead to death. But I don't think I care about that it still sounds  better than the slow death I feel myself experiencing at the moment as I  worry every day about my future.

Not sure what I want from other than to get that off my chest.