I tend to have periods of self isolation but I'm not sure if it ever really had that much of an impact on the people close to me because they would still see me everyday: either at work or school.

However, I feel like I really messed up this time. I'm currently on a summer break and I've been isolating myself for 2 months. I've not talked to any of my close friends, my parents or anyone online too. I've tried my best to be active for my BF but I can't seem to find the energy to do that with others. And as a result, few friends did cut contact with me thinking that I didn't contact them because I don't like them or hate them when that's not the case. I've tried to explain myself to them before and have even warned them but I don't know if they just ignored it or if I didn't do a good job explaining.

So now here I am with absolutely no contact with any of my friends, not being able to bear going outside because I just can't handle the sight of people, not being able to be productive and just basically rotting.

My college starts in a week and now I'm freaking out because I don't know what to do if people confront me. I don't know how to explain any of this to them. And moreover, I'm scared they won't understand me and the misunderstanding will just make them want leave me.