I made a burner account for these kinds of posts as I’ve been really struggling as of late. Apologies if this is really long but I just need to vent.

I’m a 19 M college student from Ireland who, although I’ve been loving college life and made some great friends, especially in the past month or two, I’ve been really struggling and been pretty miserable while I’m alone. I hate pretty much everything about myself, my looks, my body, my personality and my constantly anxious state of mind. 

I’m constantly told I’m a good looking, funny guy but I’ll never let myself believe it, I’m slightly overweight and have been dying to get fit and change myself for the better for so long but never had the motivation to stick with it. I want to put more effort into my appearance and basically just take better care of myself.

I’ve struggled with anxiety for years now but since covid it’s only gotten worse, I can never relax as my mind is racing 24/7 with overthinking and telling myself I’m not good enough for anyone or anything, I constantly worry for my future and what is going to happen in my life. I feel a pain in my chest and never feel comfortable except when I’m with my best friends. 

I’ve had this massive crush with this girl in my class the past month or two, we’re quickly becoming friendly and have lots of mutual friends, I love spending time with her and would give anything to become good friends or even try my luck, I’ve been told she likes me a lot as a person but I don’t see why she would, the crush only gives me another reason to think I’m not good enough, I can’t see why she would ever want me.

I’d give anything to finally have the motivation to better myself, feel comfortable in my own mind and skin and for things to finally go my way for once.

Sorry for the long rant but I’d give anything to speak to people with similar experience and maybe make some friends to talk about this stuff with. All replies welcome and DMs open :)