My fp/twin was helping me draw and I completely tanked over a goddamn drawing, I'm so upset and angry and I can't communicate with anyone and it's ALL MY FAULT. I just wanted to be on the phone with them while they helped me, it WAS fun.  Every night we talk now I fuck it up like this, I really didn't mean to. But I guess now I get what I deserve for that, a shitty night where I cry myself to sleep and try not to hurt myself again.. I really tried this time, I really thought I caught myself in time, I've been trying so hard and I messed it up AGAIN