So hello everyone! My name is Shan I’m 19 and I’m gonna give you a quick summary of my situation so hopefully someone somewhere can help me out…

In the end of 2017 early 2018 I had my worst bout of depression with came with self h*rm and suicidal ideation. I was aware also that I was having some mood swings. Important thing to note here is I know the exact cause of this depression: Going through GCSES (final exams for those of you who aren’t from Britain) and my mum was threatening me with divorce from my dad and abandonment. 

Flash forward to end of 2018-mid 2019, another bad bout of depression, this one actually led to a 5 week stay in an inpatient open facility, which I entered voluntarily. The cause of this depression was: Gaslighting boyfriend, mum threatening to leave again and treating me like poop, college being absolutely crappy and my friends there being snakes.

3rd episode of the most important bouts and most significant bouts I would say was from November 2019- February 2020. I again know the exact cause of it: I had found out my mum had been cheating on my dad via text with load of men, my college was still crappy and my friends were in arguments, my class was male dominated so it was intimidating a little bit and I was very broke also.

In 2019 I was diagnosed with BPD. I was never like formally diagnosed? The clinician never sat down with me and told me I had it and what the plan was next, he never actually screened me for it, no one did. I was having therapy from 2018-2020 because I’m 2020 I turned 18 and left EWMHS in the dust. 

It says on my record EUPD but I’m 100% symptom and trait free and have been from March 2020- present. I didn’t think you could ever fully recover from it? I personally don’t believe it was bpd I believe it was situational depression with added stress possibly trauma? Anyway I’m making this post because I really wanted to be a sailor and now I can’t get my medical because I didn’t know I was diagnosed with this…

Anyone got any advice? I thought about booking an appointment with my GP to discuss this and to also explain what I’ve listed above. My life has been entirely ruined by an illness I was never told I had been diagnosed with…