The title really says it all. I feel like I am angry all of the time. Even if I don't seem angry and am out having a nice enjoyable time, my anger is only a millimetre under the surface just begging to come out. When I get angry there is about a ten second period of "normal" anger before I start going for the kill, saying or doing whatever vile things I can possibly think of to hurt the person I'm fighting with. I feel like I "enjoy" the fighting, - I read somewhere that fighting is a means of release for internal aggression, so this is what I mean by "enjoy". I don't enjoy it at all, the opposite of, but when I am spewing out my anger and hatred it does feel like a release. Does anyone else feel like this or live like this?

I don't write all of that in a "haha I am so abusive look at me" type way, this is the thing I hate the most about myself. I avoid people as much as possible and avoid making friends because I know it's only a matter of time before they see that side of me and run for the hills. When I am angry I black out. I no longer care about anything. I get physically violent, volatile, explosive, I feel like I am so angry my skin is burning and I can no longer breathe. I start physically shaking, screaming, I use the word "all consuming" because it truly is. There is no talking me down. Then I just fester in the shame of the aftermath when I come back to and am told what I have done. If anyone has overcome these feelings at all and doesn't mind sharing how they did so, please, please do share. I can't live like this anymore, and neither can the people who love me.

(If it matters I am 20)