Does anyone else get so lost in their own dissociation that they are barely aware of the world around them? 

I fade in and out of one moment to the next and am never here or there but somewhere inside my own mind. Like a side bubble that I keep making larger and larger to escape the world and make it bigger and bigger for my consciousness to live in so I don’t have to be in the world. I lose all sense of who I am where I am and just exist around everything trying not to touch it so I don’t have to leave my comfort of dissociation land. 

Anyways I’m just wondering how I go to therapy and things if I can’t leave my apartment because of dissociation episodes. I don’t do anything except what my gf wants to do and she never wants to do anything productive and is just as mentally ill as I am so I try to take care of her but I can’t even take care of myself, I split on everyone and I just want my old life back even tho I kno it was shit and I’ve gotten so tired of having to go without things and having my gfs mom tell me I should be doing better when I can’t focus enough to take care of myself because I’m dissociated. I guess this is just a rant at this point about trying to figure out what to do about my life I feel helpless and stuck and want to just sleep and not wake up anymore. I’ve tried to kill my self and have overdosed a few times and I don’t even have the energy to try that again becuase I can’t deal with the fallout if I fail again. Anyways, I never post in reddit and I just don’t kno where else to blurt my feelings and jut nothing seems real anymore my dreams are still my safe place and I just wanna go back there every waking minute. 