For those of you with a way with words, please comment a description of what living with BPD is like? Describe how it feels physically, emotionally, the day to day, etc.

For me, I feel this constant throbbing burning pain in my heart. It never goes away. I'm constantly trying to find a way to ease it but it's as if I'm being flayed alive. 

I have an urge to fix things as if when I find the right words and put them in the right order, everything will work out.

If I do nothing wrong, I assume I did. If I don't get reassurance that I'm doing well, I assume I'm not. 

I will spend all day crying, sobbing, screaming, hurting myself over a mistake I never made. I'll reach out. Maybe just ask how their day is. And they've had a wonderful day and of course they aren't mad at me, what could they be mad at me for? Which sounds reassuring but then starts the cycle of "well if they loved me, how could they not understand how I feel when they leave me on read?" Etc. 

It...just never ends. No matter how calm I seem to be on the surface and no matter how euphoric I may feel in the moment, there's ALWAYS the thousands of internal monologues going all at once and eventually one will get loud enough and start the next delusional paranoid thought process down the rabbit hole...