I’ve been in college since September, it was great to start.  I was going to my classes and I truly enjoyed learning I was only struggling with motivation to study outside of class at the start.  I had been convinced for a long time that I had adhd and I finally got tested and was put on some meds, I actually got some energy and was very happy to put in the work and to learn.  In the winter semester I went home to my family and later found out classes were put online, I only had two classes and I was only able to kinda keep up with one of them. Because they were online there wasn’t enough structure for me to want to do them and I had gotten to actually talk to my friends and hangout with people for the first time in a while so I had just ignored them.  Not long after I had to drop my other class and only do the one I had started.  I got back to school to do in-person learning, I was very excited to learn again.  Although again I am now struggling to keep up and find any motivation to do any amount of work.  The problem is I hate feeling like this and I really don’t want to have to delay my learning anymore, but after every weekend when I drive back to my dorm I get really sad to be back at school.  I just don’t feel like I am actually living a meaningful life when I’m at school, I would much feather be travelling and just spending time with my boyfriend and family.  But I know I want to become a chiropractor and my family has these expectations for me and I’ve told them that i feel like they are forcing me to go and if I don’t I will disappoint them.  My mom told me that’s not what they are doing and she is sorry if it seems like that but I just know if I didn’t go next year she would be on my back about when I’m going back to school.  I really hate feeling like this but I just feel like I have no where to go, I just want to feel genuinely happy and excited to learn again.