I am having an incredibly hard time coping and coming to terms with the fact that I am unstable (aware but cannot seem to find the means to progress). 

I was diagnosed at 18 and went on medication until a few months ago (came off with little help). Things got better as I began to cope in many other ways but the fact is I still take medication on my hard days. Everything is super overwhelming and too much is happening at once. I can see my ups and downs and I keep refusing to reflect on them, because I know I’ll over think. 

Maybe it’s the lack of medication (or the not-so-proud-of acts of self medication after) but I feel so on the rocks even though I am bettering myself and my life in other ways. 

Maybe my borderline behaviour stems off social interaction, and these short lived relationships are due to change in behaviour? I don’t know. My thoughts are everywhere. 

I am back in therapy and seeking help for this, but my appointment is a few weeks away. I don’t know what else to say as I cannot seem to find my means of coping else where. 

