I am back on meds and I am going to go to therapy this week but the awful feeling of not being able to feel anything is back and I don't know what to do. I really don't want to end up back on a pysch hold but I also just want to feel something, whether it is through self harm or not. Life is absolutely shit, I hate the person I have become. I have no idea who I am or what I am supposed to do. I am so tempted to try to off myself again but it is going to be bad if I survive another attempt. Nothing I do is helping me, even falling in love didn't do me any good. I have no energy to do anything and I know people around me are starting to hate me, I am continuously altering myself just so they would like me but everything hurts. I just want it all to be over.