
For context, I was diagnosed yesterday. This relationship ended three weeks ago and communication has been extremely sparse since last week and I will explain why.

This person and I had been in a relationship for two and a half months and we came to the decision that it had to end. He has personal issues that I do not feel comfortable disclosing that makes it difficult for him to communicate in a romantic relationship. I told him to go to therapy in order to cope with his trauma and he listened to me. When the relationship ended, it seemed as though the issues were mainly on his side and not mine. We both still have romantic feelings for eachother and came to a conclusion that if the feelings were still present after we both healed we would be open to trying again in the future.

However, the week after the relationship ended we were communicating as normal apart from anything romantic. I’m a very sporadic texter and I like telling people about my day which is what I did with him. It seemed fine at first, and that this would be sustainable. However I experienced what I now recognize to be a BPD episode a week after the relationship ended. He was not able to talk to me and I immediately got accusatory and told him he was being mean, asking him why he was leaving me like this, and saying that nobody cares about me. Obviously this was very inappropriate of me and he asked for space after this happened which I was surprisingly receptive to?

I’ve been respecting it since and not communicating with him apart from two instances which were me asking him to call me an Uber late at night when I was intoxicated (which he did which was very sweet) and yesterday after I found out about my diagnosis. I asked him to talk to me when he feels comfortable but didn’t tell him about my diagnosis or anything related to it as I know he’s struggling and it would be selfish for me to dump that on him. Essentially I told him that when he’s comfortable I need to talk about him about something I’ve discovered about myself, how it’ll help him better understand my behavior (but obviously not excuse it) and that I’m getting treated for it. He told me he understood and would let me know when he’s comfortable.

I’m just so worried because this was both of ours first serious romantic relationship and I’ve noticed so many instances where my borderline was coming out. I’m angry at myself for letting the disorder overtake my head. I’m worried that because of this I can never have a romantic relationship with him again. I feel like I’ve done too much damage. 

Is it possible?