My mental health is at an all time low. I haven’t been on medication for a year since I lost my insurance. 

After my last attempt I was told to go to the hospital if I feel like attempting again. But I’m also really scared to go. I don’t live near my old hospital and I’m scared the new one is going to turn me away or treat me poorly. I’ve had mixed experiences when forced to be hospitalized, so I’m scared I’m going to make the choice to go in and come out worse. 

Best case scenario, it’s not that bad and they get me back on medication, and they give me local resources for help. 

Have any of you gone to the hospital by choice when you’ve been actively suicidal? If you can share positive experiences with me I think it would really help me feel less scared and alone. 

Thank you and I apologize if this is written poorly.