i will be the first to admit that ive done a lot of irreparable damage in my relationship and hurt my partner in a million unfair ways. as much as he promises to be patient and stand by me and want to support me, i know that pain still lingers. i feel like when stuff bothers me or in arguments i have no standing because of all the things i’ve done. it’s like nothing can be his fault or wrong on his end bc it immediately becomes about any of the million things i’ve done - which i’m not dismissing - but it feels like an easy cop out that prevents me from ever having any standing in the relationship. does anyone else relate to this? i guess i feel so guilty for all the pain and damage i’ve caused that we almost aren’t equal anymore and i’m not sure how to fix that, or if it’s even possible. advice appreciated