Today I woke up from a dream where I felt unloved and invisible.

Extremely depressed, I thought "Maybe for once I'll choose to be selfish and tell someone so they can help me."

To my grandmother I said "I woke up crying from a dream I had last night."

She said "Oh, What was it about?"

I replied "I can't remember, I just know I felt alone." 

And she stayed silent for a long, long time. When she eventually spoke, it was to say how she's worried about if my mother is eating enough. And never brought up what I said again. When I tried, she'd start talking about the weather. 

I can't move from here either because I have no savings and no job and no education because my mom spent all the money on alcohol. She also broke my car; the only way to leave this place that exists in the middle of nowhere. 

Sitting here writing this, I've realized the one reason I never opened up about my emotions before today was because I didn't want to feel the rejection. At least I've gotten it over with now. 

I feel so tired, even physically. It's as if even my body is giving up on me.