Made a friend, they later told me they have BPD and a very long, intense list of traumas. This person has had a very difficult life. I didn't know much about BPD but I've since researched it to try and better communicate with them.

They've grown very attached to me very quickly and they don't have a support system. They take up almost my entire day, they freak out when I don't answer, and they're almost constantly upset, talking about suicide, guilt tripping me (I'm sure not on purpose?) to talk to them. So I do. But I am very tired.

They are very afraid of being abandoned which I learned is common in people with BPD. I have tried to just be honest, "I'm tired after work", "We can talk later, I love you", "I'm with so-and-so right now, I'll be with you soon". But they're not... getting it. 

I also struggle with my own suicidal ideation, anxiety, depression. Am I struggling every day? Fuck yeah, I am. I just pull this energy out of my ass to make sure my friend is okay 24/7. They care about me, as well, but I just don't cope by talking about the same thing all day; it's exhausting. I don't have the mental capacity to keep this friendship up, and apparently nothing I say or do helps them, because I can't erase trauma, but I feel like an asshole if I don't respond.

I feel very stuck now. I don't want to hurt this person. They've been through so much. They are a very loyal friend to me. So many people have left them. They don't deserve anything bad to happen to them! 

I just feel very stuck. They hate to be lied to (who doesn't?) but I feel like they don't take my "no" for an answer. How can I safely discuss this with my friend? Anything I say is a trigger. Oh, and I guess therapy and/or medication is out of the question. Is there really no helpful option I can suggest? I don't know how to function with this person constantly reminding me they'll kill themselves at any moment. 

Any advice is extremely appreciated. Thank you.