I (F22) have tubular breasts (type three I quess) and I have always been very self consciuous about them and pretty much hated them all my life. My boyfriend (M29) from 3,5 years really indulted me in one of our fights. I have BPD and he has BPD, paranoid personality, avoidant personality and bipolar so our fights really can heat up. He called my boob in a provoking matter 'small midget demofrmed boobs' and he knows how sensitive I am about my breasts.

So, I'm in DBT but in that intance my coping skills just weren't enough. I cut my boob. It was so hurtfull in a way nobody else has ever hurted me before so I just didn't know how to react. After that I have cried many nights and wished I had breast cancer so they would have to remove my breasts. We usually sleep naked and hang out naked while watching tv but now I have problems him seeing and touching my breasts. If he touches my boobs during sex I kinda freeze little bit and feel tad uncomfortable. 

Yesterday we had a fight in a car and we both provoked each other and I ended up burning my boob two times with a cigarette. I have urges to destroy my tits because I feel disgusted by them. 

I also have eating disorder behaviour and body image problems. I kinda know that I'm normal weight and I get compliments about my body. But my boobs - they really bother me and I don't know if I can trust my bf to really like them anymore. Before he mocked my boobs I could say that 'at least he likes my breasts' but now I don't have even that. During sex I have never been selfconscious about my body (stomach, thighs, arms etc.) but now I get anxious about my boobs and this has affected my sexuality in a sense that sometimes I can't enjoy myself as much I have used to. 

Does anyone has any advice or peer support in this kind of situation?