ok, so, fear of abandonment. personal trigger is when they say that they're going somewhere but then don't specify the average time they'll be coming back or they do specify but then dont come back around that time. it leaves a lot of things to the imagination, like "oh my god what if they got in a car accident" "oh my god what if they got mugged on the street" "oh my god theyre not coming back are they, they found someone to hook up with and theyre gone forever". so to avoid this, would it be acceptable to ask the person to try their best (so not religiously) to just be like "hey throwaway, im not dead im just gonna hang out for like a few hours longer, don't wait up" in the event that they are out?

ok in writing that sounds super controlling. but just the neverending void of anxiety when the time anticipated to meet or for them to get home is so consuming and hurts so bad, and most of the time leads to emotional responses, which in turn cause arguments and worse actions.