

I'm just trying to blow off steam from my mind. The last months were characterized by emptyness and feeling that everything I did was just a nice way to keep me busy from the fact that my life has no meaning and that I don't want to continue living, like seriously the only thing I love in the world is my cat and it is the only reason I'm still here. Anyways, the episode was slowly fading away, I felt cheerful, maybe I could feel that faint emotion of happinesses doing what I love (I study mathematics at a bachelors level) again. And then everything crumbled down. First a group of people that since last semester is doing everything available to talk shit about me and making my life more hellish than it already is, start spreading rumors about me being a child molester (Yes they are just that, rumors.) And then a group of people who were really close friends of mine (They all just ghosted me after I said that one dude in the group was not being a good friend and had other behaviors that made me uncomfortable to two of the girls of the group this happened a year ago or something like that) reappeared to help this group (Like literally help them, both groups know each other apparently and teamed up to fuck me up with no fucking real reason I'm so fucking mad about everything happening rn) spread even more rumors and attack me with things that they knew would fuck me up emotionally. So now I'm facing a lot of people talking shit about me through social networks like twitter and the suicidal thoughts resurfaced with a lot more strength. I'm seriously considering going to a mental resting house or something like that after starting a legal process against these assholes, heck I'm even considering to not take action against them just because a process like that is slow and will place an emotional heavy toll on me, I fear these two groups, I don't feel safe around them and they stripped me of the only place I have ever liked, college. So yeah, in summary a person with depression trying to live his life and struggling with the feeling that life and everything in it is nonsense and with two groups of people that are trying successfully to destroy him emotionally.
I hate this so much, I didn't even asked tl be born ffs life is such a fucking burden and shitty people just makes everything even harder.