I was dumped at the beginning of the year which threw my depression into high gear. In the past 2 months I have lost over 30 pounds, and my self confidence is non-existent. Even though I am classified as "healthy" (M, 35, 6'4", 195lbs), I can't help but look at myself and feel like a worthless blob, undeserving of love. I starve myself for days at a time so I can make my body more attractive. After dinner tonight, I feel like I’ve gained all the weight back and am tempted to not eat and over exercise over the weekend just so I can get back to how I was feeling earlier today.  I'm having a hard time loving the body that I have. I can’t sleep so I drink until I pass out, and I cut myself because I want to feel physical pain rather than the emotional pain. I am in therapy getting help, but I don’t feel like I’m making much progress. I’m tired of feeling like I’m a waste of a life.