Hoping I might fall on people with similiar experiences.

I come from a family dyamic where one of my parents has serious mental health issues and they put their survival on their kids. They loved me sure but in a very enmeshed way. They used me to keep them alive and from sucide even going as far as asking me to die with her. I was very small the first time they ran away saying they going to end themselves ( because of me ). All I understood was that my parent was going die and it was my fault and my responsiblity to save them. My brain did not like this experience or dynamic at all and the resulting mental health issues have leave me forever fighting just to keep my head above water.

Meantime I also have my sib who still lives with them and feels controlled but wouldn't want to live elsewhere not least as she's afraid that if this parent and her seperate they ( parent ) won't make it if she isn't there to take care of them. She ( sib ) also has quite serious mental health issues with no help regardless of my endless fight to obtain it.