I thought I was better but today I lost it and acted on my impulses... I quit. The bartender yelled at me and I threw my tray down (I was serving, second job) and yelled "fuck it, I quit!!" 

I just lost it! I can try to justify it but if I'm honest with myself I should have just put in my two weeks. I don't even remember it clearly; I felt so disconnected from reality. Luckily I didn't hurt anyone or myself, I just quit and promptly left........ then got angry then sad then disappointed and now embarrassment. 

God I hate myself. No matter how much I try I'm just so easily pushed over the edge. My mind immediately went to "I should just kill myself".