I have Bipolar and BPD. Last night I asked my friend of over ten years about how my past drug addiction has affected her. I really wanted to know her feelings on the matter to get her point of view and to understand what I needed to fix. We’re very open to each other and try to communicate what we feel. But she said she felt like it was a bad idea and that she was cautious talking about it due to my mental state. Instead of being a reasonable person, I blew up at her. I told her I was the most upset I’ve ever been with her, and that I was even more upset at myself. Apart of me just wanted to shove her away forever because I felt like a burden to her. She left me on read. I apologized to her this evening and she still hasn’t responded. Now that I’ve calmed down, I understand her point of view and regret what I did. I feel like I’m going to get abandoned and lose her. She has a history of almost calling the cops on me due to my past drug abuse and manic episodes. I put so much on her. I’ve had several panic attacks over it. I have no idea what to do. I need advice.