Male, 25. 

// Sorry for a longer read, I just wanted to ask a question but somehow I felt that writing about my background might be necessary.

Quick info about me: I work as most people monday to friday (from home - programming). At weekends (currently at all of them) I have online lectures (I recently started university again). I also have to study after work to be able to pass exams. A little bit busy schedule. I was focused and everything went okay-ish until holiday break which caused me getting out of routine. I have problems with procrastination but I'm trying to fix it. But that's not what I wanted to talk about.

I have no friends. Well I have 2 friends from school times and we chat on facebook from time to time but that's nowhere near good friendship (I moved so we live in different cities now and we meet once every couple of months). One of them used to be a great friend to me since childhood but he got a girlfriend 2.5 years ago and I saw him maybe 3 times since then. :/

I'm an introvert. I got invited to a new year's eve party couple of days ago and it went pretty bad for me. I went because I thought "at least I won't be alone that day" but that was a mistake. Do you know that expression "feeling very lonely while being around many people"? Not a single person genuinely wanted to talk with me (there were mostly people that I don't really know and one of that friends I mentioned before but he prefered to hang out with others). I don't want to get into the details but i will just say I wasn't having fun at all despite trying. I left soon after a new year started. 

And don't get me wrong - I do like to party, I used to love spending time with good friends, sitting around the table, joking, having fun, drinking beer, talking or playing board games - I could do that every week. But this type of party where it feels like everyone is pretending to be someone else, people being jerks, loud music, dancing -- that's not my cup of tea. 

I sometimes worry that that's how my life will look like from now on - just work and responsibilities. Only my parents caring about me. Can I improve my situation somehow? I mean I have a job that I really like so I'm very lucky already and I have food and a place to sleep, but having no love in life and being constantly alone just reaps the soul out of me slowly. I will answer myself - yes, I think finding a good, gentle, caring girlfriend would be the solution. I haven't "done it" for over a year now. I have a tinder but whenever I get mached I wonder what to write and in the end I just don't write to her at all. And I get like one mach per week or less. I hate admiting these things, it makes me feel very pathetic. It's very hard these days to make a girl interested, while being an introvert, average looking, not rich, working full time, studying and not being a party chad.