I'm going to try to make this as concise as possible. I began dating a man 6 months ago. He seemed perfect and we were both quick to say we loved each other. The honeymoon stage ends, but things still seem ok. He understood my BPD from the very beginning and has been supportive when I am being a jerk or clingy, for lack of better words. Over time he's been less and less supportive, which makes sense because I know it can be draining. I make sure to give all I can like leave cute notes or make dinner sort of as a thank you, and I always tell him how good he is to me and I'm supportive back.

Fast forward to this month. I had a really bad psychotic episode where I felt extremely suicidal. He was not supportive at all. He tells me he doesn't know how he feels about me, is very hot and cold. One day we'll have the best time together, and the next he ignores me or says hateful things. I then realize I'm pushing him away from being clingy, so I back way the hell off.

This isn't working, he says he needs space and time to see how he feels about me. We barely talk or spend time together and I feel like I'm being strung along. I'm not sure what to do here. The answer seems obvious... break up. I cant bring myself to do it because I really thought we were great together. I care about him so much but he disregards my emotions. I don't feel wanted, valued, or like I even have a boyfriend. This waiting around thing trying to give him tons of space is really hurting me. I don't even know if he'll come back around. 

I guess I'm just looking for validation or maybe insight? I know I have BPD and I'm working so hard to get better, but I honestly feel like my next statement isn't BPD related. I feel like he's playing mind games. It's just his blasé attitude that baffles me. He said it was my choice to stay in this relationship but he's making it hell for me. I outright asked if he was trying to make me break up with him and got a no, he wants to try to work things out. We go from talking about our future to him not giving me the time of day. Wtf reddit? I'm so lost. I thought he'd stick with me through hard times and I'm giving him what he wants - space. Still not working. Sorry this is so long! If you've made it this far, thank you!