I'm 21. I just got my first job. I have always been someone who doesn't speak much, and who keep things to themselves all the time. And sometimes this bothers me, so much. I wish I had more friends, but I literally don't know how to maintain a friendship, a conversation, I have a wonderful boyfriend, and hes the only one I know how to. but without him I just feel lost, not because of codependence, just because I am like this. I am closed . I see my coworkers hanging out and talking out of work time, i wish I was like this. I don't like them very much, They annoy me and bully me sometimes, but I just wish I was more open to meet new people and just have friendships. I just feel like I am the problem, like I am a detestable person. I feel alone with myself. Besides my boyfriend, i don't think I can't find anyone I can relate to at the moment, and this hurts me. Because he isn't available all the time. And he has his friends. Also, i want to have more friends, but I also don't want to, because I know they will hurt me at one point. So it's confusing. I just don't know what to do. I accept some tips