I don’t want to have to hit rock bottom to care to stop myself from doing self harming actions or bad behaviors. I want to get better but it’s like I feel so lazy and uninspired to do anything about it. It’s been this way for a year. I was getting so much better then it’s like I got tired of all the effort and let myself go as if I felt like a few slip ups won’t be that bad because I deserved to relax and not be always focused on recovery all the time