All I want to do all day every day is stare at the wall, I’ve never felt depression like this

Suicide starts to sound like a great option to end all options 

I’ve never felt so lost or in despair before about myself

I can’t sleep because of the depression and emotional setbacks like relationship failure leads to days or weeks of pain

I’ve cried several times and I either feel tired or bored or just a general pain that can only be called disturbance and doesn’t feel like anger or sadness, just raw pain in my head 

How can something that is in my head only feel so bad