Last year around Autumn I started to get so overwhelmed with everything that I stopped talking to people. I was experiencing derealization and I was just out of it every day, and texting my friends just stopped... I didn't even text or call my family anymore. I shut off the world and lived in my own mind which was whirling and I wasn't 100% sure if everything was real anymore. I'm still miserable about it, just a bit better. I've just barely responded to texts from months ago, and then the people want to keep talking.. I can't keep up with the conversations so I end them really oddly or leave them on seen. If I get a text and I get stressed I just cry or scratch my skin and can't respond to anything.

I just feel like a shitty daughter, friend, cousin, whatever. I guess this also goes into depression, but it's also that anxiety of having to reply to people and then the totally out of it feeling from the stress I've had.

It's not really like me to make a post I guess. I'm usually scared someone from my life will see this, but I'm just so tired of being sad and missing people. I've been missing someone I was really close to for a long time recently and I dreamt of them last night and woke up crying today. It's all bothering me so much.