I’m talking to my PCP on Friday about getting a referral to a psychologist. I’m embarrassed to talk to anyone about what’s been happening with me the past 10+ years and the things that I’ve done because of mental illness. I don’t want anyone to know this side of me when I try to keep it to myself. For context I work with my PCP. He was surprised a year ago when I told him I was depressed because I just don’t show it at work. He’s really gonna be surprised when I tell him why I need to see a psychologist. 

Anyways, I’m just scared and embarrassed but I can’t keep living like this. My relationship is suffering and I’m breaking things in my home in my random fits of rage .. I need to see a professional to help me with coping mechanisms  and to just give me answers. But I don’t know if I can go through with it.