I think I've had my worst panic attack today; I couldn't handle it, I wanted to kill myself right that second, my parents kept saying bullshit like "you have to be strong" or "let's get distracted" or "you have to help yourself and handle it" but i *couldn't fucking handle it*. I took oxazepam and it didn't help which made my panic worse, I recently started citalopram (not my first time) and my doctor has also prescribed me with seroquel (Quetiapine) but I'm too afraid to take it because I've heard it fucks with your brain and concentration the following day. 
Anyways the point of my post is that my anxiety is so severe I feel so alone, it's borderline psychotic, I'd be shaking and almost screaming, there's an unrelenting firey fear (fear is an understatement, not to be dramatuc but even terror is an understatement, i cant describe the feeling) in my whole body that just won't go away (I've been having panic attacks for years so I don't know how else to describe how this was worse other than saying I wanted to slit my throat right that instant)
I would really like to hear about if someone felt like this, it was so traumatic, not like a normal panic attack. I just don't want to feel alone in this. It feels to me like the worst feeling anyone could feel.  (I feel like that with every new panic attack, like they just keep escalating; my relaxed mood now is my 3 months ago's worst feeling)