I realize now that my former best friend was probably my favorite person (FP). 
She was my bestie for 6 years,  basically like an older sister to me. She ghosted me over the summer, July to be exact.
Even though as the friendship dissolved and other friends came forward with their insight and I saw her true colors (she was a self proclaimed narcissist with bipolar disorder). I still can't help but miss what we had and feel like I won't ever have that connection again. 
 
However I still dream about her. Sometimes when I wake up I think for a moment we are still in each other's lives. I do miss her regardless of the hurtful things she expressed to me in the end. 
I am realizing she probably knew I had BPD before I truly understood the symptoms. She was always trying to steer me, mold me to an extent. I didn't see it as control at the time, I really thought it was her just loving me deeply and honestly.

One of the final things she said to me was "I know you'll one day become the person I know you're meant to be" and that statement haunts me because it focused on the weird control she had over me. Like she knew the secret or the right path for me. It used to torment me internally how she would state things about my life and happenings but done in a way where I couldn't call her out because it was stated with the notion of caring and helping me.
Howeverthe advice would just aid to the moodiness and anger...
Not sure where I am going with all of this but the point I want to make is I still feel deeply hurt by her abandonment overall. 
I feel more alone in regards to friends than I ever have. 
I just feel the loss of a friendship isn't something that is discussed much especially if death or tragedy isn't involved. 