Or your relationship with them ceases to exist? It feels like I'm in a video game like the Sims sometimes, where my relationships all have a meter that will steadily drop as time goes by unless it's intentionally brought up by positive interactions with each other. It's hard to perceive my relationships as having any kind of permanence because there's always a fear that if I get to comfortable, I will be caught off guard when they eventually turn out to hate me or abandon me.

Sometimes when my partner isn't home for long periods of time, I have this mentality where I subconsciously imagine that he doesn't exist at all. I guess it's to come to terms with missing him or feeling lonely. It's like, if he never existed at all, then I won't feel the loss as much.

How do y'all cope with these feelings? I haven't found a "solution," necessarily, but I've told my closest friends and partner that I really appreciate when they write me letters. It's helpful because then I have this tangible object that is proof of our love for each other even when they're not with me. It's still hard though. Sometimes I just feel so detached, as if I'm floating in limbo, all alone.