Since the start of the quarantine, I have only hanged out 3 or 4 with few people. 4 or 5 friends and 3 classmates. Other than the online friends that I contact daily.

Because my social circle suddenly shrinked, my feelings are amplified for those I talk to, and, suddenly, i got a new FP, my friend online who is already in a relationship. 

everything is going worse. dissociation, delusions, the urge to leave and cut off everyone, the urge to get attention. it's tiring.

Having such big amount of isolation and free time I can just sit there and overthink for hours, and the every other thought is about my FP. 

I feel pressured to still talk with my FP (and not confront them) because they're going through a bad time as well.

I lost my appetite, my video gaming habit, and any will to do anything. I'm just paralyzed. an annoying thing about it is that everytime i think about my FP I feel like it's my biggest issue, and I need to be with them (FP stuff etc.), while I'm literally failing in every other aspects in my life.

my brain is just screaming "f*** you" for not seeing a lot of people.