My mom was trying to motivate me to have goals or something, but I really don't want anything, the only reason I make even these halfhearted attempts at being alive (getting out of bed, showering, working...) is because I've seen the influence I have on my family when I dont pretend like I'm at least sort of trying to try. I dont want anything like I'm super lonely, but I don't want friends, I dont care about any causes enough to do anything, I have no passion, no hobbies, I don't have an addictive personality, so drugs and booze aren't alluring, I dont really want to kill myself, it seems hard or painful. The only thing I want is to not wake up, I want to die, but without killing myself, and comfortably. But my mom doesn't get that, how can she I'm nuts, so she tries to convince me i must want something. She keeps telling me it's our desire to get nice things or do great deeds or making the world a better place, even psychopaths want personal gratification, that makes us people. How can you live and not want something, anything? And that's the thing she's not wrong, that's my whole dilemma. How can I be alive and not want anything, why am I still here? I'm not gonna do it but my mom just made the best argument I've heard for doing the Richie Tenenbaum.