As the title says, my therapist says I have this personality disorder/functioning. I was shocked when she told me, and I instantly nearly bashed at her verbally, I said that's not possible, I don't manipulate about others and don't feel superior to others. She says I have no empathy and it's not about feeling superior but about feeling different. Let's say I probably am not the most empathetic person, but I do my best. Sometimes I struggle to understand certain situations, but I do understand others while being compassionate. I have struggles because my childhood was basically robbed and I don't even remember it, and I don't want to play the victim, it's just the way it is. I find it difficult to embrace intimacy, especially with family, and this is way sometimes acting on empathy is difficult to me. She says everything is projected onto me, I think it's always my fault and that everything I do is wrong, so I ruminate untile my head explodes and this doesn't make me live my life. I have no goals or objectives, and this is apparently a trait... Other things are feeling a void, searching for an approvation and low self esteem, according to her. The things is that I do all these things, but it's just a way to find an identity and to be aopreciated by people. I just want to be someone, and nobody realizes how does it hurt. I am in this little body everyday, crawling through the day until I fall asleep, and everyday is the same, grey and shapeless, I just think about things and try to make a sense about everything, and nobody helps, they all just basically say "go along", but I can't, and they don't understand at all. I also self harmed and did dangerous things like driving too fast and drinking a lot, but I don't need them anymore. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 2 and my medication helps me managing the wild mood swings and rais slightly mu mood, so I feel pretty good for some aspects, but there is so much more to dig in. 
I don't know what to do, since she told me I'm slowly sinking, and at the same time I try to block it out and to dissociate. But I just want to cry and to die. I feel like I'm useless and dangerous... There is nothing I can do anymore, I tried everything, everything. I can't even sleep properly. I can't even think anymore like I should. I basically don't function anymore, and I probably never did. My life was a complete joke, the sad thing is I don't get it, and it's probably a bad joke. 

Sorry for venting... I just want to let it all out, and there is a part of me that hopes that someone doesn't think I am a monster or something... I acted really bad in many occasions, I let down people constantly, I was a miserable, a wretched, and still am probably. But I really try everyday with all the few forces I have, I would only like to have a place and to feel in it, I would only like people to see into me for that I really am.