Not much else I can say. check out alicia keys new song Underdog. It will make you feel heard and loved. I have broken the repeat button listening to it because it's the only thing that reaches me right now.

You matter. Maybe the whole world has rejected you and maybe you have nobody but you matter because you're human and I see the good inside of you right now. The good child who was tormented into an angry, broken person....the good is still in there. Your core is good. You are just trying to feel loved and desperate times call for desperate measures. You are not doing anything abnormal. You are responding normally to horrible things. Maybe they are behind you now, and live only inside of your head, but it doesn't make you any less wrong for how you feel. You matter because you're a person and I believe in you and your good.