the past few years have gotten tough and my depression has done irreversible damage to both my body and my life. 

my teeth are rotten and painful, my hair is greasy and my skin is awful. my body is caked in self harm scars and cigarette burns. 

i’ve pushed away everyone who cares about me, i’ll be lucky if i get out of school with more than 4 GCSE passes. no one likes me and i have no real hobbies. 

i wish i was better now, but i wish even more that i would’ve gotten better a long time ago. before the real damage was done. i miss being able to smile confidently, to wear shorts/t-shirts without people judging me. i wish i was doing well enough in school to get into sixth form. 

i wish i hadn’t done this to myself. i am ruined.