TL;dr - I’ve been seeing a counsellor for 2 years now &amp;last month, he abruptly put an end to our meetings. Our last meeting was bad; it was in a public space, we were frequently interrupted by other staff &amp;loud/needy children. It’s bad enough to lose an FP as has happened before, but it’s worse when so many other things are going on in your life.

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I’m numb all the time these days because so much is going on in my mind/life.

On a daily basis I am playing roulette with my body, never really knowing how I’m going to wake up &amp;if I’ll be able to walk with excruciating pain. Tore a disk in my back, it’s affected other parts of body, it affects sleeping, standing, sitting... just about everything. So there’s that.

My self esteem is so depleted that I have attempted suicide many times and failed. I’m not willing to explain my childhood but you get the idea.

I’m struggling everyday to look myself in the mirror &amp;see myself. More often than not, I avoid looking all together.

I found in my counsellor someone that finally got it- the pain, the depression, the flawed yet amusing world we live in, while I don’t have sexual feelings for him- I respect him more than he’ll ever know.

I’m trying to create a career for myself, but I have to finish school, I’m too old to connect with my classmates [late 20’s], and I feel lonely all the time-  not just at school. 

Thought I wouldn’t feel so lonely. Guess I was wrong.