okay me and my boyfriend/ fp have been dating for a few months now, ive known him for a v long time and he’s been my fp for maybe over a year now? but he’s become a lot different since we got together obviously cause relationships and shit you get alot closer and stuff, but this shit hurts way too much. he works 5 days a week, which doesn’t bother me but he never wants to see me after work even just for an hour and I get it if he’s tired and whatever but ill ask him to hang out and he’ll say yes then ill ask if I can come over and he just won’t reply? and pretends to go to sleep even tho ik he isn’t. this happens quite a lot and I’ve told him he can just tell me he’s not up to it and i won’t be offended,don’t really have the heart to tell him everytime he does it it makes me feel like I’m dying lol.  but even when we don’t plan to hang out on average he takes like 2-3 hours to reply, which on my bad days is very hard to deal with, but i never externally split on him yknow I keep it to myself but I split on him quite a bit and it’s a lil exhausting, despite taking hours to reply to me everytime I see him he’s constantly texting his best friends girlfriend...?? like... no cap all the time and I don’t rlly get jealous over her cause ik he wouldn’t do that to his friend or me but it fucking hurts that he’s so much more invested in his best friends relationship then ours like.... he’s also got adhd so i blame a lot of behaviour on that like the bad replies and sometimes he’ll accidentally offend me or say things impulsively that hurt me. i already have fairly low self esteem and everytime I’m with him I just feel less, this is also my first real relationship in like 2 years and i kinda learned I just prefer being on my own? we also haven’t  had the “i have bpd” talk cause I’m a quiet borderline so I internalise a lot of my feelings towards it and i do plan on talking to him about it it’s just everyday i feel like I have enough courage to bring it up he blows me off :) i see him once/ twice a week despite living like 20 minutes away. yeah. It sucks. im also going through some very very heavy shit at home which he’s aware of kinda but not fully cause im just not the type to talk about stuff like that really but it’s like everytime I tell him I’m upset and I wanna talk about it he pulls the  “wanna facetime” then the next day is like “sorry fell asleep within 20 seconds of sending that lol”  likeeeeeee ¿¿¿ i do love him, i have for a long time but I just don’t really like being with him. basically I need validation to know if these are actual issues I need to bring up or if it’s just my bpd brain going rampant. if you’ve read this far i will personally mail you a trophy.