Something really bad happened over the weekend. My parents, two year old daughter and I went to my step-sister’s house for a family cookout. She has three kids, two girls in their teens and a ten year old boy. While on the trampoline with my two year old, the boy kept pretending to fall down, to which my two year old would come over to try to help him up. He kept pulling her down on top of him, and this scenario of pretending to fall and pulling her continued until I took her off the trampoline. I thought it was kind of weird, but he also has some mental disabilities so I didn’t really know what to think. Later I noticed him really invading her space, as in when she walked around he was almost on top of her.

She’s at the age where she rage-tantrums and she absolutely refused to go inside to get changed. So after most everyone had left, I just decided to change her outside. The oldest daughter and the boy were both sitting at a table sucked into their phones, and I was changing her behind the table, essentially behind both of their backs. I told her that I was going to get her undressed to change her and the boy whips around with his phone camera pointed at her. I did a double take and it took me a moment to realize before I had that what the fuck moment and told him to turn around and not point that camera at her again. After that he spent a long time on his phone watching “videos”. I continued to feel more and more uncomfortable, wondering if he had taken a photo or video of her. 

We left, and my parents were still there when I called them to tell them what had happened. I heard him chanting “vagina” repeatedly in the background of the phone call. So I waited and called them back later. I asked for clarification of what he had been saying and they laughed and said they had no idea, that he was playing a game. Then when I said what happened they initially did not believe me. The next day, they believed me but then said that the situation had been MY FAULT.

Like??? I feel like that’s on the same page as blaming the victims who are sexually abused as that being their fault for showing too much skin, etc. She’s a baby, she just turned two. I had no inclination that trying to discreetly change her would lead to this, I don’t understand how it’s my fault. Then again, I’ve always been the black sheep of this stupid family. So am I right to not forgive them for this or is it actually my fault?