my mother is finally getting me therapy. I've thought that i might have BPD for a little over a year when i was talking to a friend who has BPD and I researched it for him so i could understand him better, then ended up researching more and more until i started researching for myself, not him. I've always thought something was wrong with me, my best friend from middle school was thinking bipolar, but it never felt right. I didn't exhibit the right symptoms for it. I constantly feel void and empty, I've been told I'm overdramatic by basically everyone i know at least once, my girlfriend makes me feel so many emotions and I can't process it. i hate her but at the same time she's the only thing that makes me happy and teh thought of her leaving me makes me feel like puking and screaming and punching things. i have so many more symptoms but i can't handle school anymore, one of my only friends doesn't hang out with me and i hate it, i just want him to hang out with me and only me.

I'm sorry for jumping around on topics, i just can't rly think straight right now, I'm just anxious about this because i don't wanna be told 'no' by the therapist bcs I'm under 18. I feel so crazy and childish all the time and i just wanna scream at everybody. I don't know who I am. whenever I'm asked those "who am I" questions at school i choke up and can't think. :/