One thing that is the biggest struggle for me with bpd is having an unstable identity and contradictory thoughts and opinions. I can’t make any decisions for myself, I see the bad and good in everything, and I’m always experiencing both sides of every single spectrum and it’s my biggest frustration because I’m always at war with myself.

I feel like a fraud, because I can never keep up with myself and I regret every simple thing I do or say but then if I don’t do it, It eats me up inside

I know about splitting but it seems like that means someone having a black and white perception about a person or situation, especially when someone they value does something wrong, but it doesn’t really explain having a contradictory mindset and having different values and beliefs.

And I know it’s not as severe like in Dissociative Identity Disorder, where some people may have alters, and severe amnesia, but it feels like I’m always a different person, or I have a split identity.

Does anyone know what this could possibly be called or where I could find more research on this? I want to explain this to my psychologist and I like to have a concrete idea of what I’m trying to explain.