Essentially back in September I moved 300 miles north of my home to be with my girlfriend while she obtains her masters. The town is a smaller remote college town and jobs are somewhat scarce. I left my job as a logistics specialist at a company that I was with for 4 years. It was a very niche job so my experiences left me limited to new jobs. I decided a change of pace/path was needed, so I began working at the hospital near the town as a care aide. After 3 weeks the job became too intense for me because of the uptick of COVID-19 cases in the area and the schedule left me truly exhausted. So I looked for a new job and began as a paraprofessional at a local elementary school. The work was fun and enjoyable. But the hours and pay were not, and after 3 months I somewhat struggled to pay bills and rent. I began to wonder if just getting another job was the best idea, so I interviewed around and was offered a job as a customer service rep at a cleaning supply company. The pay is very comparable to my job as a logistics specialist, so that excited me. But I truly couldn’t see the forest for the trees. I’m in a couple weeks in, and find myself in the same spot. The work is not enjoyable, the environment and culture are not what I like either. I feel like I’m just jamming a square into a round hole to make myself fit and make the job work. 

What is worst of all is all the anxiety I deal with when it comes to not being able to find a good job while we are up here for the next 2 years. I need a decent job to pay bills. I need a decent job to obtain health insurance. I need a decent job just to have some stability. So I feel like I have to force myself to endure this new job just because I need it. I dread it in the mornings, and I think about it after I leave. I sit for 8 hours anxiously, and leave with a headache, tight shoulders, and a clenched jaw. I question why I can’t make it work in this new town, and question moving back to just find stable work. Moving and doing a long distance relationship is the last thing I want. So I wonder if it’s okay to feel what I feel. To keep looking for a new job until something fits a little better. I just can’t continue to deal with all of this stress and anxiety. I feel bad for my girlfriend to see me so anxious and to see me unhappy because of not being able to land a job that sticks. I feel like I’m being too picky and can’t be content. I truly just wonder if anyone else has had anything similar occur and how they dealt with it all.