I’ve had high functioning anxiety all my life. 

I’ve learned to manage it through thoughtful planning and attention to detail. I’ve learned to let go of perfectionism, but always strive for a positive outcome. I’ve used my anxiety energy to focus on this planning and it’s worked pretty well and has made me very productive

I’m pretty good at this, because I am analytical and can often predict the outcome of a task or a journey with ease. I would often joke that this was a magic power I have. It is really nothing special though, I can just pay attention to detail, spot patterns, and communicate those things to others fairly easily.

But my magic powers of planning prediction seem to be a broken. 

I can’t even go to a grocery store without being shocked and Overwhelmed by unpredictability.

Today I went to the grocery store and eggs were three dollars a dozen. A year ago, eggs would’ve been about $1.50 a dozen. That’s 100% increase in the cost of eggs in about a year.

Sam’s Club sells cases of Coke zero and it includes 35 cans in a case. The price for this case over the last 10 years or so has been somewhere around $9 to $10. It’s $13 now.

I understand inflation. I even understand that this is hyperinflation. 

I understand at all, but it still doesn’t stop my need for predictability in order to feel some level of comfort.

To further impact things, I suffer from an immense amount of guilt. I think to myself “if I feel uncomfortable paying this price for it, and I’m not hurting for money, imagine how bad the person who is impoverished is feeling about this price.” Every shopping trip has become agony. First the extreme discomfort of seeing shocking prices then the guilt of still being able to buy it, but knowing others can’t. 

I desperately need the predictability of life to return so that my skin will stop crawling from the anxiety of not being able to know what’s next.

How are you dealing with this?