I can't tell if people don't care about me, like me or hate me.  I am constantly invaded by these intrusive thoughts that make me believe that people hate me.  I also have a very big fear that people actually just don't care about me.  I just want people to like me and be a good person helping people get better.  I'm tired of my bpd making me destroy all my relationships, I have so many regrets, I would like to go back in time to do things better.  I try to stay positive so as not to hurt my parents and the few friends I have left, but it's really hard.  I never wanted to be like that.