I'm feeling really stuck right now. Already completed MBT. The same pattern keeps manifesting with my mom - I get told I'm being too much, that I want too much and she doesn't know what I want from her. That the words I say hurt her, even though to me they're completely harmless. 

So I remove myself, spend less time together, stick to safe topics - I'm going here today, what are you doing, etc. Then I feel incredibly lonely because I'm not having meaningful conversation with anyone. I never get to conversations with emotional depth so I feel completely unconnected and alone. It makes me physically and mentally ill, but I don't want to hurt my mom with my words so I stick with it.

Then I get told that I'm isolating myself, that no one in the family cares about me because I do this to myself - I lock myself away in my room so they forget I exist. That I wouldn't be lonely if I spent more time downstairs. But when I do spend time downstairs and talk, I get told I'm hurting her with what I say. I don't want to sit downstairs in silence, I can do that in my room. And I don't want to just make small talk either, it makes me sad that I'm talking to a family member and yet it feels no different to talking to a colleague. I feel so trapped in this cycle, going in my shell so I don't hurt people, getting blamed for being lonely because I'm in my shell, getting told I need to share more, that my family want to hear what I have to say - so I open up more, and get told I'm hurting her again.