I’m 21 now, since i was 15 i got mild anxiety which then developed later on into depression to the point where i was suicidal and bad social anxiety and regular anxiety. 

Before i got the initial anxiety, i was quite sociable and had quite a lot of friends, i could be with different groups quite easily. As i grew up in my late teens i didn’t really have a lot of friends apart from a few from childhood and maybe 1 or 2 from school, and these were the only people i’d do anything with or even talk to outside of my family, and when i was with them in public i didn’t feel as socially anxious like if i was paying for something or saw someone we knew, it didn’t just feel like the attention was on me.

Now that i’m almost fully ‘over’ this anxious state and feel more comfortable talking to others, i don’t always want to be around these specific people like i used to, and realised beforehand i put up with a lot of stuff which i can see was snakey (Seemingly because i felt like i had no other options in terms of friends and making other friends felt impossible, but it was more subconsciously at the time and never realised it) which i wouldn’t put up with now.

Is this normal that i don’t feel as socially attached to those few friends now that i feel more comfortable around other people now? Im just now realising on what i’ve missed out on in my life due to this anxiety and how things used to be, but feel like the last time i felt confident in myself was when i was 13/14, and now i’m 21.