I (29f) am feeling very alone. I have googled “negative self affirmations,” “how to fake being happy,” “songs about despair,” “how to be meek.” 

Long story short I’m having problems with my MIL and I’m so anxious about being used, abused and disrespected in front of my daughters. I want to go no contact with her, but my husband is very pro-family, and pro-grin and bear it because she’s family. He knows she a bitch, but he doesn’t understand why I can’t let things roll off my back like he does. The turmoil is depressing him, and I just want him to be happy, but I feel like I can’t express my feelings with him because he falls into depression. I just want him and I to be happy but I don’t know how to be authentic with him right now. I just want to feel nothing but I feel like I have to keep a facade going of being happy and fine and allow her abuse to keep my marriage going. I’m just lost. And I’m so scared of getting on medicine and I’m confident that I would lie and say I’m fine in a therapy session. What do I do? Pretend to be happy until I am? Can that work? 

Please don’t suggest divorce. It’s not an option.