So for the last month i ve been very very bad, to the point of questioning everything in life and intense paranoia and emptiness.

However, my stupid ass brain thinks people HAVE TO stand by me and completely understand my pain and god forbid they don't read my mind or do everything i expect of them.
That being said, my relationship has become kinda distant and although i have rational moments in which i notice that 'damn gurl you cray cray leave the man alone damn you d hate him if he acted like you', but mostly i am under this impression that people 'are supposed to' help me and give and give and give me unconditionally. And each of these perspectives happens in different mindsets and moods i have so i cant seem to make a balance out of these and generally my opposed thoughts make me feel crazy and so i just rather shut all emotion off. 
Thing is that Yesterday he told me, which genuine hurt in his speech, that he doesn't feel affection from me anymore, I'm very cold, unreasonable, not appreciative (also not sexual). And omg i didnt know i hurt him so much and idk what to do, how to manage this.

I wanna try and pay more attention to him and give him what he needs, but my crazy self just keeps saying that i already give too much generally and i dont have any effort left for other people and he SHOULD be understanding with my depression.
Im also seeing a psychiatrist for the first time in 2 days and i feel like that would be a very important moment for me in which thinga with be clearer. But how am i supposed to manage my relationship? Do you know other threads related to this?