...and considering the fact I have so many options for distraction ranging from the creative to the smoking a spliff and watching a movie, I can't help but feel it is my fault. More so considering I can have a ritalin refill to cheer me up in another two weeks because I'm a dumbass. Knowing you are dependent on this shit even just to have the motivation to clean your room. I get along so well with me mom for the past weeks. I hate it, can't even share this with her because WTF is this emptiness? What is this bizzare symptom? Why... why. Feels like your brain is just sore. 
I can't... deal with it for much longer.