And like taking the responsibility of creating the meaning for my life is sort of scary. It seems like a big task. It’s all on me. Even when nobody is watching. Am I living by that or those standards? When I was young we just kind of didn’t think about it. We saw a ball we went and kicked it. Then the next day we didn’t worry about how we were happier yesterday when we kicked the ball, we just went and played with whatever else we found. Now I’ve been here for 22 years and I think I know everything, and holding onto it all makes me a nervous wreck