I’m 20M, and I’ve never had a girlfriend. It’s always been something that’s been haunting me, generating negative thoughts and ruining my self esteem. Last year I met a girl and I think I fell in love with her. We talked and hung out for months, but in the end it just didn’t work out. I feel so crushed by it. All I want is to love and be with her, but knowing I can’t kills me inside.

Whenever I experienced heartbreak, I used to turn to my friends. We’d either party, play video games, or even go on a walk, and it really helped. I had supportive friends who knew I had been struggling with depression since 14, so they were always there for me. 

But recently, it just hasn’t been the same with them. Im sure it’s mostly the depression, but I don’t enjoy spending time with them anymore. It’s much easier for me to lay in bed all day.

Idk what the point of this post was supposed to be. I’ve just been going through a lot of depression and anxiety recently and it’s been making me feel isolated and alone. I’m drifting from my friends and I fear nobody will ever like me romantically, so I guess I’m kinda in a panic mode trying to find steady ground.