
TW: mentions of sex, cheating, suicidal thoughts, and emotional abuse

i fell in love with a girl. we fell in love really fast and she had a boyfriend at the time, but they were in an open relationship. he is really toxic, manipulative and at times abusive. she fell for me, came out as a lesbian and broke up with him to be with me. 

problem is, she lives with him and can’t afford to move. so i moved in with both of them and even shared a bed with both of them. which i hated, but i did it so i could be with her. 

the other day she broke up with me over text. i was heartbroken and frantically called her, and we talked for a while and she said she wanted to make it work, but the next day she slept with her ex and got back with him. i was so upset and seriously wanted to kill myself. 

she told me she has DID, and that her alters are doing this basically. she starts therapy soon but isnt currently diagnosed. she’s been very back and forth. 

the full story is on my previous post if you go to my account. 

like 5 days ago i dreamt that she cheated on me. i was so upset and she comforted me. but now look, my dream actually came true. 

i’m so devastated, i’ve been crying off and on for 2days now. i can’t eat and whenever i sleep i dream of her. i can’t get the thought of her having sex with him out of my head. she was my everything and now i have nothing. i got so comfortable with her and none of this makes sense because she seemed really in love with me. i want her back so bad but i know its not in the cards right now. 

i’m so angry at her ex/now boyfriend again. i called his probation officer and turned him in for doing drugs bc she needs to be away from him. probably wasn’t my place, but i dont protect manipulative self proclaimed sociopaths (yes he admits he’s a sociopath). i really hope he goes to jail. 

any advice would be much appreciated. i’ve made so much progress with my mental health but now everything is worse. i don’t know what to do without her.