I don’t have a diagnosis or anything and I’m only seeing a therapist next month. But that still feels so far away and I really feel like I need to know what’s going on.

For the past two weeks and a half I’ve been feeling very depressed. I haven’t had a lot of energy, couldn’t sleep well, felt hopeless and guilty, and wasn’t really interested in anything. Also my anxiety kind of worsened a lot. All of this made me start self harming again. It all seems to point towards depression.

But then again, in those two weeks, I’ve had moments where I felt really happy and kind of weirdly optimistic. As an example, right now I feel like that. I feel very upbeat and restless, I am suddenly strangely self-confident (something that I am usually not) and I feel like I want to do everything at once. I also feel  really euphoric right now. Something I’ve also noticed is that sometimes I get so bored at school I start behaving really weirdly. Only recently I started laughing like a crazy person for no reason at all, which resulted in a few strange looks from the people I had to do a project with.

The thing is, though, that these moments never really last long. I just return to being depressed after a few hours. I’ve read online that hypomania lasts at least a couple of days. So what is happening to me then? 

I just need some advice from someone who has felt the same. Could this be a form of bipolar or something else?