So today I sit here hating myself, seconds turning into minuets and hours, sick of being trapped inside my minds own toxic flower.

Why can’t I just live in the moment
Why do I dwell on shit that isn’t happening right now.

Life is carrying on before me, 
my kids are growing so fast
Because of you I’m too blind to see 
past the bullshit that’s accumulating, 

My soulmate is present, he just wants me right here. 
So what’s so important, that you can’t just let me be me?

I really hate you Bipolar, you selfish asshole.

You reward me, motivate me, convince me I’m here. 
But the reality is, all I do is fear 

For all these promises you made me, won’t ever be clear.

I know the world is my oyster, so please let it out. Everything is set out for me, silver platter and all.

So why can’t you see that I hate you, you selfish asshole.