 REPOSTS : i reposted it because someone literally came to insult me after i posted this and invalidated me and my behavior because it did not fit her narrative, telling me to just " grow up " and that i was " too old to act like that " it sent me into a panick attack and i had to take a break, since i could not delete her comment that was extremely harmful i decided to just delete the post and try again   


This is my rant, my views, im looking for support not confrontation or people telling me that im wrong or that i cope wrong or anything.... if you are going to say something that is insulting, judgy, triggering or just not nice please please PLEASE just dont say anything since im in an extremely vulnerable spot right now ! 

for context : im a 29F who suffers from multiple mental health issue related to years of trauma, My official diagnosis are ( BPD, HPD, Depression, ADHD, Dissociation, Generalized Anxiety, CPTSD ) i do have medication for depression, adhd and anxiety , i am getting better and my episodes are not as frequent as they use to be but they still happen...

Now to my rant :  
So turns out many teens ( not all )  on tiktok claims some mental illness at some point and self diagnose a lot ... and the performative activism is OUT THE CHART !!!! ( yes some are truly mentally ill and i&lt;m not talking about them in this post, im talking about the people that claims mental illness but only the glamorized part of it ) those literally will use their mental health in every argument saying ( well i have that too and i dont act that way.... NO BECKY YOU DONT.... not every mental health issue is the same for everyone.. its not a fucking one size fits all ) then as soooooonnnn as they see someone having a breakdown or if they see anything that differs from the "glamorized version" of that mental illness they automatically attack them, threatened them, harrass them, tell them to kill themselves and more... They scream that MeNtaL IlLnEsS Is NoT An ExCuSe !!! welll to that i say mental illness might not be an excuse but it sure is an explanation of why i act the way i do... no it doesnt take away what i did or the pain i might have caused to others and yes i can try to take responsibility for my actions and say sorry but i cant promise i wont do it again because a rage blackout is a rage blackout!!!!  


That being said,  I have trouble explaining myself a lot, especially when im triggered, also english isnt even my first language, sometimes i say shit i dont mean, or sometimes it just comes off wrong yet ive had popular tiktokkers use that to send their fan to harrass me because they take something i say and twist it to fit some dumb narrative.

I'm so tired of people telling me how much of a bad person i am when i have mental breakdown as if i dont fucking know how damaging I can be... yes it does not excuse the things i might say when i freak out and rage blackout but I DONT CONTROLE IT, I dont understand WHILE ITS HAPPENING ! i only see it after my crisis is over. Only then do I feel regrets and shame and i feel disgusted with myself.

Yet people that self diagnose themselves with the popular "quirky" mental disorder of the moment are the first one to send me death threats and harrass me whenever i have rage episode....

Its so hypocritical and i swear it's always ALWAYSSSSSS the teens that preach mental health awareness... YET attacks you when you show different symptomes than the cute quotes they saw on tumblr.  
Helllll, sometimes i forget my meds and one of the symptomes is increased irritability and rage outbursts... combine that with my BPD and if someone triggers me welll im sorry but i see literally black and dont remember anything i have said during that episode.. telling me to kms or harrassing me wont make my illness go away i dont controle it ... And when i say im sorry i was having an episode thinking ( well they also have mental health issue they must understand where im coming from right ????? ) WRONGGGGGGGG they literally harrass me more saying StOp UsiNg ThaT aS An ExCuSe YoURe An Adult... OH SORRY DIDNT KNOW MY MENTAL ILNESS WOULD SUDDENLY GO AWAY ONCE I TURN 25 FOR FUCK SAKE

I,m sorry for the rant but i am just sooo tired of people faking BPD, or bipolar disorder or any other illness for attention yet they are the first one to attack anyone who shows the symptoms of those exact disorder.

Please tell me i'm not the only one tired of the fake mental health activism on tiktok this is driving me crazier than i already am !

TLDR ; Just cant deal with the Performative activism on Tiktok and the Hypocrisy of teens who glamorize mental illness without understanding the actual consequences of such illness.