I don't like self diagnosing, but I think I maybe have a little bit of social anxiety. I avoid speaking to new people and I just freeze when people ask me to answer. My some of my friends make me feel like shit with sending photos of my face in groupchats, and talking behind my back. I play handball once a week and I try to convince my parents to keep me at home, I have cried multiple times begging my parents to just let me crawl into a ball in the dark in my room. My mum has signed me off for handball for next season. 

I don't like going to the training because, 1. i am a year younger than all the people there 2. I am scared I humiliate myself 3. they are like a group and I just stand there by myself overwelmed because I hate to be the centre of attention 4. I am scared of saying something wrong, or just that they hate me already for being so quiet.

I am trying out athletics next sports season. A fresh start huh, I am so fucking scared i make a fool of myself or just being the quiet girl all over again. 
Don't get me wrong I love playing sports but I hate social interaction. 

I avoid speaking in class. Because I am not a great speaker. I absolutley suck at keeping conversations going. 

A few months ago I mett some people online and they are really nice, I got out of my confort zone and I showed them a picture of me. I got positive comments from them, but I just don't feel like they meant it. I played a video game with someone (without voicechat), and when they asked if I wanted to call with them I absolutely closed down I froze and they thought I was being rude. 

I just have this feeling carved into my mind that I am just not good enough. Whatever anyone says I can't stop feeling like shit. 

yeah, I am not self diagnosing, i might just be awkward. But I might have a bit social anxiety. 
bye ig?