It's been a year since I hit my rock bottom. Nothing has changed. I'm still depressed and hopeless. It's a wonder I haven't decided to off myself yet. Probably because I don't have the guts to do so. But you know what? I don't think I even want to try to change anymore. I've begun to think maybe I want to be miserable. Maybe I don't want help because I want to get to a point where I say fuck it and just... hang myself... I really don't know if I can keep it up anymore. And honestly? I don't think I care.