Me and my girlfriend both have bpd however it affects us differently. Something that happens quite often is when she does something that hurts me or upsets me, she shuts down completely. She stops caring about how I feel, says she doesnt feel anything, doesn’t want to do anything, gets distant etc. I’m not sure what I can do in this situation as I’m someone who feels everything times 1000. When she makes me upset and shuts down it just makes things so much worse as I want her comfort and reassurance which she obviously is unable
to give if she can’t feel anything. I know I need to give her space and leave her alone (which I did) however I was crying in the other room and she got upset and yelled a little bit, was slamming and throwing things. As she recently came out of an abusive relationship I told her how much that hurt me and that I don’t want to feel the way she felt but once I said that, it was full shut down time. She told me she wanted to leave and go “home” (which changed from with me to her brothers) and that she didn’t want to be around me etc. Now my fear of abandonment is kicking in and I’m giving her her space in hopes it’ll make things okay again. I just want to know what I can do to try and prevent this in the future. Hoping someone who shuts down in a way similar will chime in and let me know what helps (besides being left alone which I am going to try and work on)