I went to a concert last night which is something I do extremely often because they bring me so much joy. This specific concert was something I had been looking forward to for months. Me and my friends lined up early because it’s something we normally do typically being towards the front makes concerts a more enjoyable and less stressful experience for me. However this venue was terrible had absolutely no air conditioning even though it was inside. Even before the opening act around 5 people passed out, on top of that people around me were about to pass out as well. Eventually I started to feel like my arms we’re getting numb and my hands were shaking. I also couldn’t catch my breath. I tried my best to do the normal thing I do to calm myself down since I had been lined up all day, and been looking forward to this for months. I’m a pretty hard headed person and if I had any slight feel I could get through that concert in that crowd I would’ve tried to. The opening act came on and I tried my hardest to just be calm and enjoy it however it got to the point where all i was doing was trying to ground myself i couldn’t enjoy what was going on at all. I told my friend who was very supportive and nice and she helped me get out of the crowd to calm myself down. As soon as we got out I started hyperventilating. She then immediately took my to a medic. I go to concerts all the time and struggle with anxiety but normally not at them because I’m so overwhelmed with joy and excitement. In the medic room I had people around me telling me it seems like I had an anxiety attack which wasn’t a surprise since I get them ever now and then. The thought of going back outside to that crowd make me extremely anxious and scared. I called my mom assuming she’d be understanding since she’s seen me have anxiety attacks before. Instead she immediately was mad at me blamed me for overreacting and begged me to just “calm down and go back out there” I was crying to her on the phone and shaking begging her to please just come get me. She got mad at me told me I was being selfish and ruined my friends night. I messaged my friends after this all happened telling them they should definitely stay if they want to since they had rides home. My mom insisted that she would come get me and we’d wait for my friends to be done. I was in the medic room for an extremely long time trying to bring feeling back into my body and catch my breath after feeling numb for about 30ish minutes. Eventually I was able to calm
down my friends were very supportive and understanding and left our spot in the front because they said they were overwhelmed too. Around this time their support was helping me feel a lot better and I really wanted to avoid dealing with my mom
after how she acted when I called her. So I stayed for the first few songs because I felt like as soon as i got in that car I would be told endless things about my anxiety was my fault. Afterwards I went to get in the car with my mom because I didn’t want her to get mad at me. She did exactly what I’d assumed she did and yelled at me for how I acted. She told me that this is something “I always give into” even though the whole time i was trying to prevent it. Should I feel bad for this? Because I do now I genuinely don’t want to leave my room I feel completely misunderstood and like i have no support. On top of that something i had been looking forward to got ruined and my mom told me to get over it. I also told her i had anxiety because everyone around me was passing out and she said “oh well you weren’t gonna die” I’m just so frustrated I don’t know what to do she and my dad are both angry at me and we got into a fight about and then she cried because i’m “selfish mean and ungrateful” I just feel helpless I don’t have any medications or resources to help with anxiety I don’t know what to do.