i have been almost positive for months that I am borderline. i am 22f, for reference. i'm not really looking for a dx but i just really need to talk to someone about this, hear if anyone identifies with me, get any guidance. i've already been in treatment for many many years for OCD/severe anxiety. i know about DBT and do try to practice mindfulness etc... but i'm struggling.

my main symptoms:

*splitting: almost exclusively with my SO of 6.5 years. I start HUGE terrible arguments. 

*VERY frantic efforts to avoid abandonment: calling my SO 50 times in a row after he hangs up on me during an argument (I take being hung up on as a HUGE affront)

*lots of emotional instability--episodes of severe anxiety, anger, bad temper
*occasionally some dissociative symptoms, but subtle.

*some impulsivity with substances and shopping, but also fairly mild.

SO and I just had a huge fight. He told me some terrible things (in response to my splitting etc.) and now I'm splitting him black SO HARD because of the stuff he told me ("you can be the meanest person I know," "you're the biggest source of stress in my life," etc)

i'm so stuck. help.