For background, I've had mild to moderate social anxiety for the last 5 or 6 years. At the beginning of that period, I had a few isolated panic attacks, and there were periods where I had high anxiety about being in public, like restaurants or theaters. I took buspirone just a handful of times back then to head off an anxiety attack when I was unable to avoid going out. It worked, but made me feel really tired and out of it. 

The last few years, my social anxiety has calmed down a lot. But I do tend to worry about little things and stress myself out a lot. I'm also a bit of a hypochondriac. 

A lot of external stressors have been building up in my life lately, until finally this past Saturday I took a drive to get some "me" time and I couldn't calm down virtually the whole time. 

That feeling has snowballed to the point that I am at now. I can't calm down. My heart is constantly racing. I feel extremely tense. I've had trouble sleeping and an extreme loss of appetite. I often feel half exhausted and half jittery. I'm having trouble focusing. I feel miserable and apathetic about everything. I'm completely terrified that I'm losing it so quickly. 

I bought some magnesium citrate based Calm gummies on Monday, but they didn't seem to be strong enough. I went to an urgent care on Tuesday, and the doctor prescribed me hydroxyzine 3 times a day for my anxiety. I'm only on my 2nd full day of taking it, but I do think it's starting to help. I don't feel normal yet, but it's helping to curb the anxiety and makes it easier for me to get it under control. 

The doctor really wanted to prescribe me trazodone for daily anxiety maintenance, but I'm very hesitant about being on an antidepressant long term. I don't take any other meds aside from a daily vitamin. I don't like the idea of potential side effects. The doc said side effects could rarely include a manic episode, like gambling a large sum or cheating on my husband or something else extremely out of character. I'm not really sure if I have a family history of mental illness, which she said could increase the chance of a manic episode. 

TL,DR: I've had moderate anxiety for years but never been on meds for it. Recently out of the blue I'm in a full blown anxiety driven mental breakdown. Doc prescribed hydroxyzine, which does seem to be helping. However, doc really wanted to start me on trazodone to address the issue long term. I'm very hesitant as I'm concerned about side effects. However, my main concern is feeling normal again and I'm not sure I'll get there on hydroxyzine alone. 

Has anyone taken trazodone or hydroxyzine, particularly in combination? Did it help you? Has anyone had a manic episode or other side effect from the trazodone? Any advice or feedback would be greatly appreciated! I just want my life back.