My doctor said that I am very reactive of my environment. If one thing good happens I feel just great and invinsible. If something hurts me, I feel broken and hopeless.

So I met this guy and instantly fell for him. He was great in the first few weeks we chatted. So we went on a date like 3 times and each time he got colder. He now barely answers to my texts. I tried not to tell him I fell for him and also tried to keep it cool so I wouldn't overwhelm him. But I feel being treated like sh*t. And it makes me feel I don't deserve to be loved or liked or treated right.

So i got very suicidal and wrote my first suicide letter and I consider doing it every damn time. Not because of him specifically but because I feel like I have no worth. 

Sorry for any wrong words, English is no my first language and thank you that took time to read all the way here. It means a lot.