I've noticed a trend in my life. Something gives me hope for the future and then I put every ounce of my effort and hope into hoping it succeeds. The downside of this is that while it is happening I genuinely believe that failure in this one area means I have no more hope. I decide that should I fail at this one thing I will do some pretty serious harm to every other area of my life. Sort of a very big self sabotage en masse.

This cycle started with my relationship to my girlfriend. Through therapy I managed to work through that and we're still together today. Then my focus was on graduating. I passed my exam and now have a certification that allows me to work my new job.

Recently my focus has been on my new job. I'm worried that I'm going to fail. And if I fail I'm not sure I could take that. But here's the thing. Part of me knows I can take it and that my chances of failure are pretty low. What I'm trying to say is the cycle is breaking. I will keep going on even if I fail.

Or at least I hope. I'm trying to at least.