I have BPD and PTSD and have been in therapy for many years, although I am currently between therapists. I believe my sister has undiagnosed BPD, or some other mental illness. She has not been in therapy, and she has a lot of very deep emotional problems, abused me when we were growing up, and has always lashed out at the people around her. Because of this, I have spent very little time around her for the past 10 years.





I'm now in a position where I have to spend a lot of time with her due to some issues going on in our family. It's unavoidable. She has been trying to argue with me about every little thing for the past few weeks. I've been trying to be very patient, but tonight I was caught off guard and she was able to bait me into an argument. I had put a lot of work into something that I thought would be helpful to her. She immediately began criticising it through texts. I was surprised, and tried to explain my intentions, at which point she began outright insulting me. I was going to continue going back and forth with her, but luckily a friend of mine who is familiar with my sister's behavior happened to call me, I told her what was going on, and she immediately told me I was letting myself get sucked in, and I needed to end the conversation, which I did.





So, this situation has triggered a lot of horrible feelings. I am so extremely sensitive to insults. I used to spend quite a bit of time around abusive people, but I stopped that, and I haven't been attacked like this in a long time. It tends to cause me to feel a lot of self-loathing and depression, which I'm going through right now. I was wondering if anyone had any skills they use when they are having similar feelings? I know the things she said are coming from her illness, and aren't really about me, but my brain is not cooperating, it is insisting that I deserved to be attacked.





I also had another question: I think I am going to have to be in contact with her for about 4 months. How do I deal with this situation in general? She is constantly looking for a fight or a reason to be rude to me. Is there a healthy way to handle that? Thanks for any advice you can give me.