There was a girl who I went to school with, for simplicity's sake we can refer to her as L. 


I went to the same school as her for 2 years and for over the first year and a half, I never particularly noticed or paid much attention to her (she was the year below me, but our 2 year groups shared a common area so I saw a lot of her, and there was only a couple of hundred people in my whole school, so it's not like I never saw her).

I then heard her speak once, and spoke to her for a couple of minutes, and an intense attachment was born. I have never spoken to her for more than 20-30 minutes and have spoken to her for more than a minute or so under 5 times. 


I am completely and utterly hopelessly in love with her. I can forget about her for a few days or weeks, but she always comes back to my mind. I am so utterly obsessed it's horrible. She doesn't have social media so I can't look at photos or videos of her, I just remember her in my mind, and I don't even speak to any of her friends, so I've had zero contact with her. I still can't get her out of my mind. I've NEVER had this happen so strongly - in previous schools, I have been in love with the same girl for years at a time, but then I forget about them as soon as I leave school and discontinue contact (I have never been in a relationship with a girl I've been attached to like this, and I am far more attached to her than previous girls, including one who I was "in love" with from ages 11-16). 



I have no idea how to forget her. I've had a 2 year relationship since then, and still thought of her often. I've had sex with other girls, I've kissed a lot of girls, gone on a lot of dates, but she has never exited my mind. I'm 22 and last saw her when I was 18. I feel like I'll still think about her when I'm 30. I feel like I'll think about her when I'm 60. I might think of her on my deathbed. 


I can't stand it. I love her so much and can't forget her. The worst thing is logically I know that I barely know her - I have probably spent less than an hour talking to her in total, ever.


Please can someone help me - I feel like I'm meant to marry her and it tortures me mentally. I can't even imagine kissing her because it makes me so emotional I cry - I have never had that with anyone else.


Thank you.