Do you worry that now that you're "OK"  you're counselor or therapist will say that you dint need to come to them anymore?

Also, 

Should I tell my psychiatrist and counselor I am still taking a legal substance that numbs some feelings so its easier to go abiut my day?  Im worried my counselor will be disappointed in me because ive been lying, and im worried my psychiatrist wont want to work with me anymore, until I stop taking it.  Thing is besides it being mildly addictive, if I were to stop taking it my bpd symptoms are so intense and the loneliness is unbearable.  Id proabbly be able to get off it completely and be back to "normal"  in a couple days.  But I dont know if I can even stand those days.  I want better coping skills, but. A. I dont want to disappoint anyone.  B.  It will be torture having to fake myself without it.  And C.  I feel like I'll just be a burden if I look all sad and people would just like me better if I was just the normal laughing person they all see.

I do want their help getting off it but sometimes I feel like it's not even worth it to stop taking it because the intense symptoms.