It’s so weird because I don’t feel horribly depressed and heavy and sad. I just feel so bla. I’m trying to get myself stuck back in the cycle but even though I feel not good it comforting and calling to me. I thinks. Lot of me being better has been dialing down the emotions a bit. It is definitely effecting my relationship. I have a hard time with more serious or emotional conversations because I just don’t want to go there if that makes sense. But I know that’s not good either. So like now I’m at a weird place and just feel bla.