I recently went off of my medication for 4 months because I was feeling numb.

During that off spell, my thoughts and behaviours were more erratic but I did begin feeling. Had highs and lows.
Laughed and played as well as cried and felt awful at times. Felt love,  lust. Gave affection freely to my kids and my boyfriend.

I've been back on my medication for a while again now and I've noticed that I don't feel for people.

I KNOW I love my kids but I dont FEEL it.
I KNOW I love my boyfriend but I dont FEEL it.

I'm very clinical and robotic inside.
I have to force myself to be affectionate or accept affection.
Force myself to not feel repulsed by everybody and to be around them.

I just function.

Sure, I've cried once since being on them instead of daily. I've been more level emotions wise.  I just dont know if that's worth being empty inside.

Its been the same on every medication I've tried.

Does anyone else find that this happens to them? Or is there just something really wrong with who I am?