I’ve (m25) been majorly depressed without cause since I was 12,13,14 not sure exactly. I’ve tried drugs, therapy, opening up to friends and family and finally committing myself to a productive and worthwhile endeavour (law degree). 

Nothing works I still feel as unwanted, unlikable, worthless as ever. This shitty illness has destroyed half my life. Ive completely wasted 5 years of my life, achieved nothing, made no positive connections, still fucking live at home. People seem to avoid me like I smell bad (maybe I do lol). I feel so discarded by humanity, like I have nothing to offer anyone. Now when I tell people how I feel it doesn’t seem to register, or they don’t know what to say idk.

I don’t think I can get better anymore. I just want to die. But I want someone to hold my hand as I go. Maybe all I want is to feel some kindness. 

I just needed to say this someone publicly, where people might understand.

Love you all &lt;3