Hey, everyone. I’m new here, but this might be a long post and I would appreciate the support. 

So a couple years ago I (17M) was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I had tried to kill myself once, had eating problems, sleep problems, and all the emotional stuff, but there were some things that I never talked about with my therapist because I was just embarrassed and afraid to be judged. As a result, my depression symptoms gradually got better to the point where I stopped seeing said therapist and stopped medication (big mistake). Enter other problems that I never told my therapist about. 

I had problems with relationships, a lot of them, specifically with my closest friends. Every time that they left me or stopped texting or anything like that, I would freak out and think that they were abandoning me for something or someone else. I never trusted anything they said and I always begged for emotional support when those feelings triggered some thoughts. When they couldn’t be there, the cycle repeated itself. Nonetheless, I demanded intimacy and incredible closeness or else I would feel rejected and abandoned and hated. 

There’s also this other thing that sometimes happened. I’d get really really angry because of some insignificant thing and then start raging and yelling and threatening my friends. Afterwards, my memory of that would be fuzzy at best. In general, my relationships were characterized by extraordinary instability yet extreme intimacy (I would even cuddle sometimes). 

I think I was misdiagnosed (it happens a lot with bpd apparently), and I’m too scared to go back to a therapist. I know self diagnosing is really bad and should never be done, but I just don’t know what to do. Thanks for reading 

TL;DR I think I was misdiagnosed with depression pretty much because I never told therapist about other stuff that was happening. Now idk what to do to get help.