I have constant mood swings, I read some article and I also thought like that before cant get out of my head that says amount of happines is amount of sadness, no matter what would you do you will still end up same, balance of 2 emotions would be 0. I want to not belive that, that for hanging out with friends, laughing and having fun i  have to pay with existencial crisis, fear of death( which sometimes i overcome but sometimes it comes back) Our whole purpose as humainty is that we cant not exist. When we die, we come back instantly  (if there wasnt time, there wouldnt be time for not existence of time) we are having same life again, well even if we were another person we would still have same life as amount of negative thoughts is based on amount of positive etc. We are dead right now. I just want some1 to convince me that this is wrong. Btw after this mindset, i stopped caring about a lot of things like i can talk to anyone even that i dont know in school, im super confident and dont care about others opinions. These are good sides, there are always good sides in my life, and i gotta accept these negative thoughts as parts of my life, but well the more i accept them, less reward i get for overcoming them, Being alone and thinking about everything screwed me, I sleep 8 h of sleep, workout, eat healthy and shit but this aint working. Sometimes i wish i could take pill with all upcoming sadness of my life to be happy for rest of it.