I just had my 23rd birthday a few days ago and graduated from uni back in the summer, so I should have at least the slightest clue about what I am going to do with my life. But I am just lost as I was when I was sixteen. I am back in my parent's home in this small town that I hate, and I don't have any friends here anyway. I am looking for jobs but nothing seems to be interesting. I know that I should grow up, find a job and be responsible for myself, but I am afraid that I will end up in some job that I hate for the rest of my life, live a mediocre life in this small town and grow more cold and cynical. And I just refuse to believe that this is all there to life. 

I want to see the world, and what is out there. Make friends and memories, feel things again, both happiness and sadness, be angry, smile, and cry just like other human beings. Find true love, that I (maybe) foolishly still believe in. I want to find something that I will like to do. And most importantly I want to be a good person.

But more and more I start to think that all of this is just some TV illusion and the world is just how it is right now, there is nothing more in it for me.