I don’t know how to talk about this but I have said it once before to someone and it just didn’t get my pain across...every single day I think everyone is mad at me. I think I’m rude to everyone. 
sometimes I don’t even physically see something but I imagine it and tear myself apart hating myself for being so stupid. 
I hate this so much. I can’t have friends I barely leave the house because I’m so so exhausted from this feeling. I work with people full time my heart constantly hurts I just want to be able to walk past someone without feeling the need to smile or say sorry. I want to be able to get a text message and not instantly take it as an insult. I just want this feeling to stop but I don’t know where to begin without letting everyone around me down. 


I just needed to vent I’m sorry if this is triggering to anyone. It’s easier to say it from behind a keyboard.