The reason I cut myself 5 days ago was over some guy I met online.. I got super attached to him and felt empty without him, especially since I never got any closure as to why he wasn’t interested.  I put on some music and cried while cutting myself in the dorm bathroom.  I went to the hospital at 4 am because my suicidal thoughts took over and I didn’t want to be alone.  I had to move home from being away at uni and am taking a year off.  Haven’t been diagnosed with BPD but I’m 99% sure I have it since I have all of the 9 symptoms of those people with BPD.  Haven’t cut since then .. not like this happened very long ago though .  But I’m staying strong.  I also get insatiably horny all the time and sext with multiple men online.  It’s so obsessive.  I need to find some other hobbies.  Arranging hookups wth multiple men probably was never the best idea.. none of them followed through and I am left unsatisfied.  Was planning two hookups in the same city as the uni I was going to  and now these guys are ignoring my Snapchats so I think that they are losing interest since it’ll be a while until I can possibly hookup with them😞.  So of course that’s driving me insane.  Plus I probably would have gotten attached, let’s be real.  I think that past trauma as well as feeling like I never got the attention from the boys that I wanted in the past led up to me (probably) having BPD.  