I want love and intimacy so bad

My boyfriend (33M) has been in inpatient mental health care for TWO. YEARS. He was supposed to be out forever ago and we don’t know what’s taking so long. I (27F) know I’m not supposed to feel this way (I’m a terrible person for thinking about myself) but I miss when we could physically be together and I don’t want to be in a relationship forever that just consists of talking on the phone and dealing with hospital related stuff. Several months ago he decided to open up our relationship (it was his choice and he didn’t really explain why) but I’m having trouble keeping people interested in me, probably because they don’t like the fact that I’m in an open relationship with someone else.

I don’t know what to do, I hate having no physical intimacy for so long, and I hate myself for being so insanely evilly selfish about all this. 

Please be gentle with me. I already know I suck. I really do love him. We’ve been together since 2017. He has changed his mind about me a couple of times but always ended up wanting me back.