I'll try to keep backstory short: After a long period of depression that I recently started seeing a therapist. 

Overall it's a positive experience, and I feel like I'm learning a lot about myself. Since our first session it's been suggested that I have BPD tendencies, and on our most recent session she casually side something like 'that's the BPD part of it', so while not a formal "diagnosis, it's something that's come up a lot. 

After coming to this sub I realize that sooo much of my irrational behavior relates to this illness, and I can relate to the symptoms so much. 

**Which leads to my actual question: How do you discuss this with your spouse?**

BPD has SUCH a stigma, and I'm so scared it makes me unlovable. When I think about my actions I feel I don't deserve him, and wonder why he puts up with me. I hate this self loathing part of it, and I know so much of it is attributed to BPD, but it doesn't make it hurt less. 

I also am subbed to /r/raisedbynarcissists and I'm terrified I'm recreating the family dynamics between my narcissist mom and enabling dad. THAT is not something I feel I can discuss with my SO. 

Is there a book that's a good and sympathetic starting point? Maybe a website that explains BPD symptoms without making them seem so .... crazy?