Despite the mental illnesses that I'm diagnosed with, I'm on meds, I take therapy, I have a job I think I like, I have friends and I have a fairly okay family. Of course there is heartbreak, and feelings of not being good enough and what not. But I feel like I'm in a relatively good place, yet I took a minute to not do anything today and my first and only thought was, how to kill myself. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? WILL THIS EVER GET BETTER? WILL I EVER NOT WANT TO DIE.