So I(22F) am a month away from moving to somewhere where I won't have the money for rent. Obviously other people with BPD may understand the reckless spending of money. I have spent money on takeaway and taxis etc because I've been too anxious to walk to/from my favourite persons place (I'm in Leeds they are in Manchester, I can get the train but can't walk to the station/from the station without worrying/starting a panic attack). I've just finished uni but have a possible offer from the same uni for masters (I loved my course and the master's would only be 1 day a week). At the moment I'm on/off sertraline because I hate being on meds and am not considered "bad" enough for DBT (have applied before). I'm just looking for some advice as I'm trying to find work whilst being semi-suicidal (I have moments of being so upset it seems like the only option, I think of how it could happen, but I think of the people I care about and how upset they may be. Also have contacted phone lines and they never seem that worried). How do I get work or how do I get benefits etc without getting homeless? I'm 300 miles away from my 'home' and I don't want to make my mother feel disappointed that at 22 I still can't 'handle' money and also mention it to my gran who will make me feel crap. Do you think if I get a job ASAP that I can inform them (like the last couple years) that I will provide them with the money in the month and the surplus when master's loan comes in? (My tuition for my master's will be £5500 for the whole year so will have money left from the loan). Also not doing the master's isn't really a solution as I've had my mind set on it and uni work/studying is the one thing that hasn't upset me or made me feel bad about myself. It is the one thing that has excited me about continuing this life and progressing (as weird as it may sound)