So I think I’m depressed. Even tho I have moments where I’m fine - which is usually whenever I’m busy, every night is always so hard for me.  These thoughts and feeling keep coming up that are so intense and I don’t know why every night I just cry. 

Talking about it does help, but I feel embarrassed reaching out to a therapist and I don’t know how to go about affording it. 

Also I’m worried the therapist will just be like cHaNgE yOuR sELf tALk. Because I know it’s negative but having someone tell me to just think more positively isn’t going to really help me? I can’t just tell myself to suddenly put a positive spin on everything? Or maybe that’s where I’m going wrong.?? Idk. If I have crying spells I can’t just tell myself don’t cry when I don’t even know why I’m crying or what’s wrong. Everything in my life is ok. Not perfect but I recognize Im privileged and doing fine. But I don’t know where these stupid feelings are coming from.

Anyways. So what do I do? For reference I’m a college student. 

I can’t even tell if it’s depression or something else or what to do anymore. 

Thanks!