for some context
im 19F, different minded family, cant move out, they dont let me work so i cant save money, pretending to be a person that i am actually not (because i have to. no. no other way), find myself crying silently every night and not able to sleep 5 of 7days usually, anxious about my future and losing joy 

most people thinks im a normal chill person. but yeah i am pro at pretending.

if you suggest to talk about it to close persons..?
i got awesome friends but they got their own problems and since they are so empathic i wouldnt feel good about showing them how do i feel. plus im not that kind of person feels relieved by talking. im writing here to get some advice, tips.

i cant even afford pills (hence i am not using any) neither therapy.

what to do