It would be easier to know with certainty what happens after you die. I hope its not simply stopping existing, because that would mean death is final and we will never be reunited with our loved ones.

I wish I could have a second go at life, but with fair conditions this time. If I had been born normal everything would have been so different. By this stage in my life I would have been married, starting to plan for children, living a beautiful life next to my soul mate. I would be able to be myself, to talk to people like everyone does, go out, form relationships with those around me, travel, see the world. 

But I was born wrong and ruined any chance I had to remedy that. Now Im fast approaching 30 with nothing to show for and no will to even wake up. Every night I ask whoever is listening to let it be my last. Im sick of hurting.