(23 m)

im on a trip with my mom to another country, she has a family home here and has decided to try and fix the entire house up. I am just making this trip miserable for her. I didn't want to go but she kept going on about how she has PTSD and is scared she will have panic attacks and will get killed or something, so i had to go with her so she would feel okay. I dont have a job because i suck or something and i thought it would be a nice thing to do.

I have not been having a good time, I've been sick this whole time, theres no AC, theres all kinds of bugs attacking me, and i dont feel like doing anything like going into town and walking around. She has become tired of my bullshit and started crying.

Today, she said she's gunna send me back to america within the next few days (instead of a month from now) since she can't stand to be around me anymore. This will spawn a chain reaction with all my other family members (stepdad, brother, grandparents, cousins, uncles and aunts) where they will all ask me whats wrong with me and why couldn't i just have a nicer time with my mom and help out more. I will be scolded by literally everyone.

I am just numb at this point and have been for a long time. the only idea i have is to get therapy which i havent done before, but thats all i have. if you guys have any other ideas or something i would seriously appreciate it. 

I hate being like this.