Two years ago, I would never have thought I might be able to give someone who feels like I did hope that things can become better, that I would look myself in the mirror without hating and that I would be able to think of the future and think that things might turn out OK after all. 

I've been down where a lot of you are or have been: feeling like the loneliest person in the world and thinking I will be until I die, cut myself in desperation and sobbing in a waiting room with blood destroying my white sneakers , been underweight so that soft hair grew on my body to protect me from cold. I have spent all day in bed crying countless times, thought I am an evil person, thought that others are evil, made life a nightmare for my ex who just wanted to make me feel better and cared about me like no one.

Be strong. I give a thought to all of you who are fighting and I know you all do the best you can. I did too and I am strong and well enough nowadays to be able to take care of others, I couldn't really back then. I wish someone would have told me that things can become better, although I maybe wouldn't have believed them. 

I am not "normal",maybe I'll never be. But I have learned to accept that I am emotional, that I might cry my eyes out sometimes although I laughed on hour earlier, and I know that I will laugh again soon although it feels like I never will again. I love someone who loves me, but I know I won't die if he one day won't. I know that there are people who might abandon me but that there are many who never will. And I know that everything bad brings something good, and vice versa. Going through what I've gone through has made me as strong and independent as many people never will be, and I believe that many of you who now feel like I did, one day soon will be stronger than the majority. 