BPD is when we float through society, desperate to function; breath; live. 

Part I: [https://www.reddit.com/r/BPD/comments/jnwhz7/bpd\_is\_like\_fire\_and\_water\_one\_second\_its\_an/?utm\_source=share\&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;utm\_medium=ios\_app\&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;utm\_name=iossmf](https://www.reddit.com/r/BPD/comments/jnwhz7/bpd_is_like_fire_and_water_one_second_its_an/?utm_source=share&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;utm_name=iossmf)  


The label BPD is bestowed upon us, &amp; experts say, "Don't worry, it's just semantics,"    
But sometimes when you describe your circumstances to them, they say, "Oh that's classic Borderline behaviour,"    


But is it really? Is most things I did/do "Borderline" behaviour?    
Am I fusing myself too much into the BPD identity, as I read more on this subreddit; watch more videos from Dr Daniel Fox and YouTube; attend more DBT/therapy?    
Am I hanging onto the BPD identity, because the 5-9 symptoms are what accurately depicts me, and I don't know myself without this order anymore?    
\-  
BPD is like gas also because, it has no fixed shape; It can catch you off guard when you feel completely numb and lost. When you're caught in the middle of extreme outbursts (fire) &amp; intense sorrow (water). It has no fixed shape because we all experience our BPD similarly.. yet differently.   


I don't know where I'm going with this note.   
All I desperately want is to be free from the symptom of "suicidal ideations" and any urges, because it's not ideal, &amp; hearing "Oh it's just classic Borderline symptom, just don't act on those thoughts," isn't the most helpful. In fact, hearing that about any struggles we face like emotion dysregulation; black-and-white thinking; unknown sense of self etc. also doesn't help mostly.  


I just - I don’t want to be \*“Another BPD human who took her life,”\*   
I don't want to be another statistic.   
As oxymoron as it sounds, I also don't want to be known as \*“The one who conquered and overcame BPD,”\*. At least not for now, because I just.. \*\*I just want to be known as "me."\*\*  


My name is \_\_(name)\_\_, I have BPD, but I am not Borderline, I am just someone who wants to experience recovery; stability; happiness and to fit in to society.   

\-   
My dad always tells me in our mother tongue,  
\&gt; “明天会更好。”  
\&gt; Translation: “It will be a better day tomorrow.”

I honestly don’t have much hope rn. But this community and subreddit/s gives me hope. Our existence gives me hope. It warms me to know that we're not fighting alone. 

\&gt;”明天会更好。”  
Thank you for listening to my vents in Pt. 1 &amp; Pt. 2 X