I honestly can’t believe that almost 2 years has passed and I haven’t gotten over my depression thing. Last year I was all about “oh I’m gonna off myself by the end of the year” and it hasn’t really gotten that much better. Earlier this year I was standing on the balcony and wanted to do the thing and I never got the courage to actually do it. Currently I’m not as suicidal but I just can’t get over it. I just wake up feeling like shit every single day and every time I feel like I’m starting to get better it comes back again. I kinda hate myself for being a miserable piece of shit. 

Last year I tried to keep it to myself for a few months and eventually my parents found out about it (they were literally pressuring me to breaking point) and I’ve openly declined starting any sort of therapy until now. 

Throwaway for this one