I hate it. I hate being there 11 hours a day and not being allowed to do anything unless I get permission from someone else. I can't take breaks when I need a breather, I can't slow down if I'm getting stressed, or my body starts hurting. I'm not allowed to leave my building during lunch breaks. I hate that I drive to work in the dark, and drive home during sunset. (Especially since im terrified to drive). 

I work 11 hours a day, but my commute is a half hour each way, and I wake up an hour before I leave to get ready, so now that's 13 hours a day dedicated to my job. Then I get home and think about my job. Then I go to bed and I cant sleep because I have to wake up for work later. I'm not joking when I say I vomit in the morning every first day of my work week. 

Its not my job. I've had so many jobs already, very different from one another, and it all affects me the same. It's the concept of being there for so long and giving up my freedom for half of a living wage in return. It gives me nothing to look forward to day to day. I call out like once a week. I know its not sustainable but I also don't know what to do. I mentally cannot handle working that long, I just can't. I know I'm missing out on some money, but it just doesn't matter to me. I cant afford to lose my job or work part time, but at the same time i will take any moment of freedom I can get. 

The reality of working my whole life is just too much most days...... it makes me feel hopeless. My parents and grandparents had it so much worse too.