Decided to apologize to my dads mom yesterday after cussing her out awhile ago. It was months ago but she just decied to shove it back in my face and was trashing everyone so I was still pissed off from last night. So I go downstairs today to grab a water bottle and shes like you know "what I miss? Talking with you and i hope one day again we can." I told her yesterday was her one day and I said I've been thinking and i take that apology back just because you shoved it back in my face so no simple as that you've lot your chance for that to happen again. And my dad was pissed at her last night to because come to find out she was telling him how she'd wish I'd apologize and it pissed me off too. He didn't even tell me to I did it to be the bigger person and end on a better note but if you want to die alone and not be cared about thats your fault. And for my dads sake I took it back because if she raised him better I would have had a better dad and he wouldn't have issues like he does. 

I dont care I dont say hate but I hate her and always will. Just so much going on at my house and I'm just stuck in the middle of shit again. I'm tired of hearing about it I'm not mad at my parents I just dont want to be there emotional support. I mean I'll support you but you shouldn't be taking advice from a 18 year old. I don't want to talk about all this with them that is there drama they need to be adults and figure it out. I want the best for them and only want them to be happy. For my mental healths sake I need them not to talk about it anymore with me. I get I needed to talk to my dad because watching him break down  and cry hurt my soul and the same with my mom before too. The negative energy here man is just dense and we need positive vibes here but I have no clue how I'm going to go about it.