cw: suicidal ideation but no intent

I'm so tired. I like myself but at the moment I am so tired of being me and having to live this life. I feel so disconnected from everybody and everything; it feels like no matter what I do or how hard I try improve, every new day is just a copy of the last one. 

It doesn't feel like I have anything to live for. All my friendships are superficial, no family or significant other. Idk if I can make bills this month and the stress is eating me alive every single moment. 

I'm just so tired of feeling like myself and my life are getting better only to end up back here, crying and broken and feeling like there is a literal hole in my chest. My heart is actually hurting and I just feel so alone.