I've never understood the difference between the two. Is there a difference? Is it different for each person?

I've always told my FP that I love them (much to the confusion of their boyfriends/girlfriends, when they realise that I really don't want sex -- as I tell them "Yes, I love her. She's your girlfriend -- you f*cking agree with me")

Surely you either love someone or you don't? Does the fact that I only want to be friends mean that I love her less, or don't love her at all?

If it's purely based on sexual desire, surely that makes romantic love selfish -- you're creating an artificial difference in your relationship based purely on your physical attraction to the person, on what pleasure they can provide you, rather than the sort of person they are?

If there are any people w/o BPD that would like to chip in, that would be great -- I have a good feeling that my confusion is to do with the splitting that occurs with BPD, so an outside perspective might be good.