Hi guys, right off the bat I(M,20) don't have BPD. My gf(F,19) does and luckily she's tremendously smart and resilient and has done an incredible job working on her coping skills and knowledge of oneself.

Despite that, I often find blatant blind spots in her thinking and her observations of the world and I can almost always trace it back to some sort of emotional suppression plus whenever she's distressed, I have no idea what to do and that makes me feel really incompetent because she's very good at comforting me when I'm at a point of crisis.

I have a history of fucking relationships up because a partner of mine did something I had a hard time letting go of even if they apologized a million times, I end up sabotaging things and hurting everyone involved i.e. I'm not very good at being empathetic, this makes me wonder if I'm the right kind of person for her as It would kill me If I ended up hurting her.

She also says that, romantic relationships are one of her biggest triggers or points of vulnerability and I want to make things as comfortable for her as possible. 

Basically, I'm asking for your best piece of advice/things you wish your partner knew about you and about your BPD that could've prevented it falling apart/made it even better for the both of you.