This is almost like a rant, I just want a distraction or something to focus on. Something to do. Just to keep me alive until tomorrow.

I sit here again, at 1am on a sunday night, school lingering around the corner.

Oh dear school, how I love and hate you. Last year I wasen't able to see you because I couln't cope. I still can't but therapy has helped me with some better ways to cope.

I love how accomplished I may feel when I finish the tasks you hand to me, but oh how miserable I get when I can't.

But dear voices, why won't you stop this harassment? What have I done to you?

I know you are many, and I am singular, but why must I be tortured? You keep fueling the delusions; that I am infected, that you're always behind me, breathing on my neck, ready to strike. Why haven't you struck yet then, coward? Why must you make me feel so uncertain of everything in my area? Why do you want me to be unknowing? Your commands and ideas are tempting, but why would you want me to do such horrific acts if you're going to confess your lies and mockery afterward anyway?

The hand sanitizer, which you so begged me to consume, has helped dull your impact. I am unsure wether it is your action or mine, but it is done.