I’ve cut a lot of people out of my life lately, so I’m spending more and more time alone. When I’m alone I am such a risk to myself. Today for example, I got gift the second I woke up to distract myself from my bad mood. I’ve been having a bad day so without a second thought I walked to the liquor store and bought a bottle of rum. I’ve been sitting in my room alone drinking and now I’m posting this specifically because I needed to have something else to do other than self harm like I want to. Every time I drink alone I get the urge to self harm or more, I know it should be as simple as “don’t drink” but I genuinely forget this feeling until it happens again. Even still, I wouldn’t think of it if all that’s on my mind is to get drunk or high or whatever it takes to calm me down or distract me. I feel like drugs and alcohol are going to be the death of me.