Looking for advice or solutions...

I have pretty bad social anxiety, especially when meeting new people. My boyfriend is super social butterfly, and most of his social gatherings are with family/college friends, so having anything in common to talk about with them for me is tough. When we get to these parties or gatherings or weddings my boyfriend goes full ADHD and runs around like a puppy. He forgets to introduce me to people. We've talked about this but unfortunately I don't see this improving or changing because it just hasn't. It's also unfair of me to ask him to hold my hand and take me everywhere with him.

One of the things that helps me with social anxiety and the insecurity of not knowing anyone  is, and for most people is, drinking. But when I drink I get hyper emotional and either pick fights with my boyfriend or push him away, because it heightens my BPD. This has been me in every relationship. I wouldn't say I'm an alcoholic but it helps calm me down but then ruins me if that makes sense. 

What the heck do I do here? I've talked to my boyfriend about it over and over, and also this isn't the only relationship I've been in where this has been a problem. The last fight was a family house rental party, I drank quite a bit because I met 20 of his family members in one go, spent two nights at a rental house with them, drank a lot, and then pushed him away (not in front of his family, but I think they kind of know what happened because he was upset.)