Hi! I have... Two questions.

One of them is what it feels like being schizophrenic? Therefore I can understand it better.

The second question is I feel like my brain is on fire and it's always on 24/7 and always working. I've got tons of PTSDs. And I never feel like I am safe. I never heard voices.. well.. I did once where I only slept about 2 hours, but I know it was because of the lack of sleep and my lacking mental health.

I feel like I should always go back to this bad mental state and I never understand why. Maybe because it kind of feels like my comfort zone? I got out of it once, and that time was the best 2-3 years of my life, but I fell back.

I am just sad and I need a hug. I went to psychiatry and It stressed me out so much. I didn't even wanted to be there. I went there to "prove" my then psychologist, to show her that they won't help. And I did that like out of anger. I feel like I am some kind of, Uhm... maniac? Who always wants to prove others how and why are they wrong. I don't understand why am I doing this and I even did that in kindergarten.

Any thoughts on the second question?