My fp and I were in a romantic relationship for 5 years which ended last year. Up until recently my bpd traits were managed quite well so we were able to maintain a friendship which I do still want and value. 

The problem is she's still my fp, even now that I've accepted the end of our romantic relationship I still desperately need a level of affection, approval, validation, and attention from her that she can no longer give me. It's destroying me mentally.

I need to need her less but all the advice I can find for detaching from an fp focuses on literal detachment by removing them &amp; reminders of them from your life. I don't want that, I want her in my life I just don't want her to be the center of my life. Does anyone have advice on what to do here?