I'm so sick of this! I've had to detach from so many friendships over the last year because they were unhealthy and toxic and I was always such a people pleaser and overly loving and I needed to start looking after myself. Over the last year I don't have 'best friend's' anymore because that title was like a job for me but i still have friends I am closer to than others and sometimes there will be times we message quite a lot and be in contact loads and then i go back into that 'idolising' state so now i have to mentally tell myself to give myself distance from them so i dont get too caught up. I know with practice itll get easier but its hard because im a sociable person and I like having friends but im easily let down and I can feel abandoned by the smallest action so i need to have boundaries. I sometimes have to tell my friends this so they know why im not the same as I used to be. I just wish i could feel normal and not give a shit about this kind of stuff. I also wish i could be forgiving of the people that wronged me because they're still in my life (ex best friends And inlaws) but i cant get over the anger for how much they hurt me. Sorry for the rant I feel so anxious and sad tonight