I got a new job and the hours are 4am-1pm and I’m miserable. I’ve only been there a week but I’ve been so exhausted and I’ve cried everyday that I’ve been working. My family is all mad at me because I’m constantly job hopping. I stayed at my last job for a year and half but I quit once and I’m that time had 3 different jobs before returning to the one I had before. 

My new job is stocking at Walmart and the job itself isn’t bad. I like most of my coworkers and the managers are fine but the hours are killing me. I’ve been so depressed about it all week. I have to get up at 3:45 and I’m not used to it and it’s making me irritable as fuck. I miss being up at night it was the only time I was relaxed about now I work until 1 go home and go to sleep wake up and have about 3 hours before I have to go back to bed so I can get some decent sleep before I have to wake up again to go to work. 

I miss my boyfriend too because he works nights and I can barely talk to him throughout the week because I have to be asleep while he’s at work. I miss him so much and when we do have time to hang out I can barely keep my eyes open. I feel like I’ve wasted a whole week of my life sleeping and I feel like I’ve been in a daze. I feel sick every day because of this and I don’t want to keep this job because of the hours. Also the manager gets mad at me everyday because I’m violating the dress code but it’s over stupid things and everyone around is doing the same thing. I work in the freezer so I was wearing a coat and I got in trouble because I was wearing that Walmart vest under the coat and he said I needed to have the vest on the outside and I feel so embarrassed about it like I don’t want to go back. 

I’ve never had a job like this and it’s so stressful. I’ve only ever worked in fast food. Walmart has this weird point system for absences and I’m pretty sure if you clock in more than 10 minutes late 4 times you get fired. I can’t sleep good because I feel so stressed about making sure I’m not a minute late. This morning I was two minutes late and I got in trouble even though I was inside Walmart at 4am, just not clocked in. 

All I can think about it how much I miss my boyfriend honestly. I’m so depressed about it because I rely on him for everything. I’ve been impulsively shopping all week and I’ve spent my whole paycheck from my previous job even though I just got paid last week. I’m about to run up my credit card bill because I don’t feel like I have time to do anything else. Thinking about having to go to work tomorrow so early makes me want to puke. I just want to go shopping but that’s all I’ve been doing all week because my time feels so wasted and pointless now. Like nothing matters because tomorrow I’m going to wake up and my day is going to wasted because I have to sleep all the time to make myself feel functional. 

My family is mad at me because they think I’m just being lazy but I feel done with them. I want to run away and so I don’t have to work anymore. I always think about crashing my car just to get out of work and have a break but it literally doesn’t matter because I would just get fired if I had to go to the ER. I want to leave the state I live in and just leave everything behind and I have a whole plan to do it but I’m so broke. Holding a job is so hard for me. I just want to work a 9-5 and my family says “you wouldn’t like that.” Because they think I’ll be upset if I have to get up at 8 to go to work because I don’t like waking up at 3:45 but that’s so different. If I had to wake up at 8 or 7 or even 6 I wouldn’t have to go to bed while it’s still light outside just to make it through a shift. I’m so depressed, I just want to run away.