I'm a 14 year old boy and my life is hell. This is also kind of a vent. I'm posting this because I probably need someone to talk to whose job isn't to talk to me. So here's what's wrong with me. I'm growing up/grew up with abusive and alcoholic parents. I got raped when I was ten and I have ptsd from that. I got diagnosed with severe Social anxiety and fell into depression and self harm. I also have ptsd from the murder of a close friend which I witnessed. Around two months ago I tried to overdose but called the ambulance after I took the pills. I suffered brain damage from that and now have memory problems and can barely move my right arm(it's useless). After I got out of the hospital I had to go back to my parents who beat me for attempting suicide. My mom got more and more intimate with me (against my will) until she raped me one day. I tried to kill myself again and failed again. I got moved away from my parents into stationary therapy. My braindamage turns out be larger and I am emotionaly and mentally unstable. I am on strong medication which helps but not all the time since I don't sleep alot and my medication doesn't last through the night I often wake up from nightmares extremly confused and with memory loss.

I know this sounds made up and fake and it really is extremly fucked up but it isn't fake. I really just need some help. Thanks for reading.