Im not going into detail because its personal stuff and her buissness doesnt need to be out there. But to start me and my gf both have problems with things like depression and self image but shes helped me through alot of it and obviously it never really goes away but it does help knowing u have someone there for u. However shes completely differnt. I have a chaotic household but a supportive one. Shes been through ALOT and shes only ever had herself. So she doesnt open up to me or when she does its thru jokes like "im having a kanye moment" ik why she does it because i do the same stuff and i can understand her at that level. However shes way worse than i ever was. I think abt suicide sometimes cause its comforting knowing its there but id never actually do it. But shes so stubborn and independant that she wouldnt say that, she wouldnt tell anyone (atleast people she knows could stop her) n shed just do it. Thats the type of person she is. She likes being alone when shes sad or frusterated and sees them as her problem. She comes to me or her friends when she wants a hug and to be held but she isnt comfortable talking abt it seriously or she just doesnt want to. But i understood this because i had gone through it n although we have different personalities we had the same issue n i could understand and try as much as she let me to comfort n help her.

However more than just her depression she also has an ed and shes had it on and off for years but shes been commited in the last year. Ive only been dating her for abt 6 months now so she was already consumed by it by the time we started dating. This is something i dont understand because i have no experience with it and she wont open up to me about it. So its hard to support her and even harder is that she doesnt want to recover. Shes so consumed by her illness that she knows its bad, she can see the effect it has on her and she hates it. But its the only way she can love herself and see herself as beautiful. I hate it so much . Ive known about it for awhile but td i went to go and hold her hand she jumped when i brushed up against her arm. I didnt realise it but when i asked her what was wrong she said something like "i listened to panic at the disco" and its obvious that she cut herself. Her friend told me later that it was alot and really bad. Her friend has known her since she was a kid and shes pretty much the only person irl that she talks to about it to sort of vent. And i say irl because she wont let me look at it but ik she has a twitter account where shevtalks to other people with ed's and they all supoort and push eachother. I honestly hate those people with all my heart. But the cutting is scaring me. Because always on some level i could understand her but ive never done it, ive mever thought of doing it. Its not something i can help her with. And im scared because i cant help her, she wont let me help her

Please if you have any advice tell me. Her parents wont understand and theyll just send her away if i tell them. Therapists piss her off or she just refuses them. I dont know what to do