I've been a risk to myself the past few days. I've cut my legs and I hit myself in the head so hard that I gave myself a concussion (yes I've been to the doctor). I've also been lashing out at the people around me. Tomorrow I see a psychiatrist and they will decide if I have to go to the city to go to an inpatient ward. I believe they will admit me because I'm a suicide risk. It is a 25 bed ward with metal detectors, metal toilets, no phones or technology and pretty much cut off from the outside world except for the few other patients and visiting time. It will be my first time inpatient at this centre. I'm terrified. I've had friends and family in the same ward and they have had only bad experiences. I genuinely don't believe that isolation will help me but I wouldn't be surprised if they think otherwise. They're also changing my antipsychotics tomorrow so may want to keep me because of the possible side effects too. Sorry just venting.