I don’t want to go into too much personal detail but I quit my job and I’m doing some *stuff* for money but I  just don’t wanna do that stuff anymore. Call me lazy but I just can’t and won’t go back to working for some rich asshole for minimum wage while they boss me around to get a power trip. I know not all workplaces are so toxic but I just can’t do it anymore. Work stresses me out. Work makes me relapse. Work makes my life hell. I hate that money controls so much of our lives. I’m never going to be able to escape the cycle of poverty. Every time I think of a new idea or an invention, it already exists. Why do I even try? I’m disgusted with myself. Mental illness controls me. I know it sounds like an excuse and it probably is. I do go to therapy. I do take my meds. But I don’t think that there’s any way that I could fit into society and be “normal”. I feel like I don’t belong. I feel like I’m better off dead. I was supposed to go see my family in Japan but corona cancelled my trip and I don’t know when it will end. The future seems so uncertain. I feel sick to my stomach and I don’t know what to do. I feel like my life is ruined.