and I feel... nothing? he’s used me, treated me like garbage, lied to me, and just generally treated me like shit. but he made me feel pretty and sexy which is basically why I kept him around. he would tell me he loved me but “not like that” (um what? okay) and he didn’t want a relationship so “breaking up” just means I told him I don’t want to see him anymore. he literally just left without saying a word. 

how do I keep myself from slipping and trying to contact him again? I know I will. and every time I do I fucking haaaate myself even more. 

my plan was to find someone else who actually cared about me to replace him, but clearly no one wants me enough for that to happen. I need help:/