I've been reading on this page for almost 2 years silently, I apologize for that I should have contributed more. I'm so upset so unhappy, I've known about my depression and also anxiety since 2007-2008(I'm a 26yr male). Was a mostly A occasionally B student growing up, first in my family to go to college, got a B.A. business with duel concentrations in economics and finance at a $45k a year school that I absolutely worked my ass off for, literally almost killed me. Graduated 4.5 years ago and I'm still working a restaurant job. Friends have all moved on, girlfriend left me recently, brother recently moved away, I have no one. I don't know what to do, I used to self harm haven't in years but the thought keeps entering my mind uncontrollably. I'm scared, I'm afraid to say it but I'm really fucking scared of myself right now.