Hey there peeps! 

Sorry in advance for the awful engrish (not my native language). 

So.

This might sound weird, but I just wanted to thank you guys for existing. By that I mean posting here, talking about your experiences and just generally being here for each other. 

I usually just lurk around, never really posting anything or commenting or whatever. I was diagnosed with bpd around 17 or so and it's all been a clusterfuck of fuckness ever since. 

Where I live, mental health is one of the big taboos, those big no-no's that you're never supposed to discuss. I've never really had any chance to meet anyone who I can talk freely about it because of it, and even less of a chance of getting to know someone with the same diagnosis as me. 

When I found out about Reddit, and then about this sub, I was honestly shocked. Before coming here, all I knew came from crappy internet sites in spanish and old 70's and 80's psychiatry books I'd find at the uni's library. I never thought about how other people experienced bpd, and I was shocked to find out just how much of that experience was shared.

I thought I was bat-shit insane for going through that idealization-devaluation process with people (didn't even know that was a thing), or that my reactions and how some things affected me were proof that I was just a defective attempt at a human being, or simply not human at all. An evolutionary mistake.

I can't count the times when I've felt like I can't go on. I start arguing with myself, and I always reach the same dead end: I'm just not suited for this whole thing of being a normal person, having friends, and generally just not fucking it up. 

When that happens, I usually end up here. When I start reading about you guys, your experiences, it makes me feel less alone. It reminds me that part of bpd is the fact that your thoughts are kind of against you sometimes, and that those thoughts are not to be trusted. That you can feel like giving up sometimes, but that you can always find a way to keep going. 

You guys have shown me that people like me and you, people who are simply too big for their own skins, can live and thrive; that the fact is that some of us just feel things at a different scale. And whenever I forget that I'm more than my diagnosis, I come back here and remind myself that there are people out there who feel like me, and still find a way to be amazing; so much that they've created an entire community based on sharing such an experience and supporting each other through it. 

Thank you guys.