i’ve accepted that my current relationship might end.
and it’s okay. i love her a lot and neither of us want to break up but it’s okay, i’ll be okay. i’ll move on and find someone better, or just move on with my life and do so much more with my life and spend more time with myself. i used to be so afraid of losing her, i’d cry at the thought of us breaking up. i still don’t want to, but i’ve accepted the very real possibility and i’m just going to enjoy what time i have left with her. and if/when we break up, i’ll be okay. i’ll cry, but i’ll move on and i won’t feel suicidal or hopeless or needy like i did the last time. 
i think i’m finally somewhat in control of my bpd now and i’m proud.....! :)