For example, if I’m in a depressive episode, no matter how much effort I put into therapy &amp; self improvement, it doesn’t really make a difference. I just have to wait for my life to suddenly become bright and happy again. (This literally happens). My life is just a series of waves that I have to surrender to. This not only applies to my mental state, but also external events. After a shift into a happy episode, my life literally gets better in ways that aren’t even affected by my actions. 

After a while, it dips down again and I’m in a trough. Without reason, I slowly become miserable. The external world treats me differently. I become unlucky. I usually will struggle financially and stupid shit repeatedly happens. I have no control over when it begins and ends, but I can sense an upcoming shift. 

This is actually why I feel connected to astrology. For my entire life, I seem to go through phase after phase without instigating them myself. I don’t change my life. If someone tells me “I’m so proud of you! It takes so much work and courage to get better!” I’m just like....I didn’t do anything. It just happened. 

In the past I’ve even gone through weird physical phases where I’d be chronically nauseous or anxious for a few months, and then it would simply disappear altogether. For no reason. 

btw I am not bipolar. It’s a completely different phenomenon than that