For 5 years roughly i’ve been struggling with what i think might be depression, question is though- am i faking it? maybe i’m not actually depressed maybe i’m fine? sometimes i feel fine, sometimes i feel bad but most days i just don’t feel really anything. 

Maybe i’m being dramatic, overthinking it. Yes, i’ve self-harmed. I’ve had suicide attempts- i was bulimic for a few months but maybe i’m being an attention seeker. I’ve only told 3 people about my problem(s) and one of those people are also suicidal. 

I have a “family” therapist she helps my dad mostly and the last time i visited her i told her this and i quote “I really don’t see the point in life, you wake up and eat or maybe you don’t- i’ll go to school and then come home and lay in bed and do it all over again. i’m just tired- i don’t care what happens anymore i don’t care if i fail school or if i pass i don’t care.” and she told me “That’s a normal feeling, most teenagers feel like that don’t worry in a few months it’ll pass” that was 1 year ago. 

My parents they’ve said “Suicidal people are selfish, they should just end it they’re attention seekers” so, i don’t know what to do. 

I’ve talked to those 3 people and they tell me i should get help, i’ve taken semi professional tests (i know those aren’t always correct some are just downright fake too) and they say i need help, i’ve checked depression symptoms and suicidal symptoms and they all apply to me so what do i do? 

Do i wait till i’m an adult and go to therapy? Do i tell them? no i can’t. i’m lost i don’t know anymore