Hi all. Bit of a long one but I’m really hoping someone can offer some advice or help. Any words are greatly appreciated. 

Some background;
I am 24 (f) and live in Wales, UK. 

I have been under a psychiatrist twice to receive my two diagnosis. 
EUBPD and ASD.

When I was 19 I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist with EUBPD. I have always suffered from ill mental health, even as a child, but I’ll touch more on that later. On leaving this appointment I was given a printed sheet from the Internet just describing my condition. Whilst I was with the psychiatrist I asked about treatments for this EUBPD. He proceeded to tell me that the usual treatment is something called DBT, however, that there are no NHS therapists in Wales for it. I was literally like “oh. Okay.” Wtaf?

Once diagnosed I was simply discharged. I called up to ask why and they told me that “people are only under psychiatrists to be diagnosed, then it’s up to the community mental health teams,” which I can’t seem to be put under either. 
I’ve been referred to the LMHSS or some shit who called me to talk to a nurse to explain my problems and struggles. Once I finished talking to this nurse, she told me that my illnesses were “too advanced and too serious” for them to help me with and explained that there are two avenues to help with mental health care under the NHS. The LMHSS service, which is like talking therapies ect, and the community mental health team which deals with more severe illnesses. 
She explained that I should be under the latter and told me to go back to my GP and explain this. 
I have done so and have three times since, again been referred to the LMHSS service only to be told over and over that I need to be under the other type of support. I’ve been told over and over by different GPs that I will be referred to this service and to “wait for a letter” and still, nothing comes. I’ve changed GP surgeries I couldn’t tell you how many times. Honestly you wouldn’t believe how much I have pursued this. 

I have an extensive back history of ill mental health, and STILL no one seems to take me seriously. Intensive care when I was 13 from a cocodamol overdose, and several more between the ages of 13-18. Severe self harming. I was under CAMHS (Child &amp; Adolescent Mental Health Serive) from the age of 12, saw a psychiatrist weekly and did CBT when I was with them and was diagnosed with Autism when I was 16. 

I was was discharged on my 18th birthday. My psychiatrist that I was under at the time gave me a letter with details on how to call the adult mental health services explaining that I should just be transferred over as I was currently on some section something and a care &amp; treatment plan? When I called up to do this, some arsey nurse told me that they “didn’t do this, she’d never heard of this transferring business” and I had to “go through my GP just like everyone else.” 
I did, and then at 19 after waiting a year, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.

I’m now 24 and I’ve had no help or treatment since getting that diagnosis, except the few Valiums/ benzos that the crisis team have given me when I’ve been sent there or brought there by the police in recent years. GPS have tried me on different antidepressants, but nothing else. 
I have never been taken as in inpatient since being an adult. I’ve been turned away from A&amp;E with ‘self care’ leaflets when I’m in hysterics and ripping out my hair screaming that I’m going to kill myself. Doctors patting me on the shoulder and telling me “best of luck with it.” 
It’s actually fucking unbelievable.

My family have looked into me getting private healthcare as I would not be able to afford it, but there seems to be a lot of struggle around me having “pre-existing conditions.” As many private healthcare insurance won’t cover these which seems a bit dumb to me?? Idk, my family looked into it. 

So yeah, I’m pretty stuck and hopeless. I’ve just awoken - well, I say awoken, but it I was wide awake just lying in bed waiting for my alarm to go off, at 9am this morning and I’m so dizzy and shitty from lack of sleep, I’m considering if it’s a good idea to cancel my driving lesson that I have in an hour. 
This lack of sleep and lack of ability to switch off is ruining my life, truly. I feel like i permanently have a swarm of wasps in my head that just won’t quit. 

I’m constantly angry and irritable and paranoid and sad sad sad sad and I just don’t want to do anything anymore because I’m usually so sleep deprived and down. My relationship is suffering because my boyfriend is sick of hearing me cry every night when we lie down to go to sleep. He’s sick of me constantly asking him for reassurance. I never have the motivation or energy to do anything. 

I pretty much just want to die at this point if I’m never going to get any help or get any better. 
I saw my GP two days ago about a problem with my periods, I was examined and I’m being sent for a biopsy thing because something is wrong with my insides so I’m terrified about that too which is adding to my stress. I tried to discuss my mental health in this appointment too only for the GP to tell me that they didn’t really have time to go over it right now, but that the surgery has a mental health nurse that they’d pass my number over to and they’d give me a call the next day to properly discuss my problems with me. Of course I have had no phonecall. 

It’s fucking abysmal. I’m at the point where I’m considering seeking out benzodiazepines or sleeping medication illegally online because from what I remember when I was given just 3 tablets when I’ve seen the crisis team, they seemed to do the trick to quiet my mind and help me get atleast a night’s decent sleep. 
I so don’t want to do this though as obviously I’m terrified of what could be in something I buy illegally. 

I don’t even know what other medications or treatments are available to me because I’ve never been offered them nor has my doctor ever discussed them with me despite my constant begging of them to help me. 

Honestly I don’t know where to go from here, does anyone have any advice for a very sad, crazy girl? 
I can’t keep living like this. I’m so so miserable.