I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression for about 5 years. Once I was diagnosed I would go on and off anti depressants every few months. They did help. I have been completely off of them for about 2 years now and was doing okay. However, I still have depression and anxiety which is progressively getting worse. I feel like I do everything in my power to keep it away. I mediate, wake up and go to sleep at the same time everyday, force myself to get out of bed, get enough sleep, workout cardio/weights 5 days a week, eat healthy, journal, etc. I force myself to do all of these things in hopes my depressed feelings will even slightly diminish. But I still have depression and anxiety which makes it hard to function most days.

I know I should probably be on medication with the way I am feeling currently. However, my family is very anti-medication. Some are also very religious, and will tell me things like "maybe if you chanted more or prayed to buddha more you would feel better". So when they say things like this it does make me question myself, and wonder if I am actually doing enough. I think my family's beliefs on medication have rubbed off on me, because now I have this mindset that I am too good for medication or that I don't REALLY need it despite how severe it is getting. Whenever I go on medication there's a part of me that feels guilty for needing it. I know it's just my ego making me feel almost like I'm "too good" for medication, and caring about what my family thinks. But I'm not too sure how to get overcome these types of beliefs.