Just when you think things will get better, it blows up in your face... I'll be turning 20 soon and I plan on killing myself on Christmas or my birthday (2 days after Christmas) so... I'll just explain it all. My depression started when I was 15 and came out as gay, my parents just hit me and yelled at me about religion, grounded me from talking to my boyfriend at the time and ever since they've caused every relationship to fail... Isn't like I can just leave either, being physically disabled and in Arkansas makes it worse... Let's skip a little bit ahead to this year, in July I thought I found someone who loved me and wanted to help but instead I got locked up in a psych ward and psychologically abused, then this man I loved gave me some of his medication for schizophrenia because I hear voices in my head, tgose meds through me into a seizure and then something happened between me, him and my mother because he just keeps swearing that I need medication when I just need medical marijuana aince it's the only thing without adverse side effects... Recently I've been getting desperate for help and wanting to feel loved, I attempted to contact my ex girlfriend who I haven't talked to in years but.. No avail... Anyways, there's no help and no love in this fucking world and the voices are right every time I fail or something... I don't care if you're my ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend, this post might as well be my suicide note because after so much heartbreak, so many years of depression and the voices in my head... I feel like a ghost trapped in a corpse and I just want to die to be free...