I’m dating my bf. In love with my bf. My my FP is my best friend and when my bf and I broke up I done fudged up and crossed the line and we dated two months and then I went back to my bf. I lost my best friend and I hurt him and I just know how terrible of a thing I did to a person’s heart and I can’t get over it. I miss my best friend. And honestly my bf is the most understanding person but… I can’t talk to this friend ever again for obvious reasons and I feel so sad. And he’s an istp who fell in love with my emotional infj bpd ass. And I hurt him 😭I realized I just wanted him as my person I’m close on that level, yet not with…. but understand I legit can’t just be friends. I hate that I do this. Losing friends feels like saying bye to a chunk of your life you just gotta toss away. I saw him one last time and asked if I could talk and he said idk if I can do that and I begged to just properly apologize and say bye. Closure doesn’t exist for me. Am I alone?