For the past few sessions I was sobbing, crying, vulnerable, and so vocal about the pain that I was suffering...

I'm always pretty transparent with her...

During the last session...

I felt too ashamed for opening up about some sexual risky and promiscuous stuff I got myself involved with...

This was our conversation in the beginning:

Her: "how are you"?!?

Me: *smiles. 
Me: "...never better" 
Me: *thumbs up gesture

She said she's really worried for me because she knows I'm going through so much pain..and that I'm not allowing myself to feel that pain...she said I'm " In denial"..

Me: *smiles excessively 
Me: "what!?

Me: ..."what's cookin good lookin...this is the best day of my life because tomorrow doesn't exist...yesterday doesn't either...only today 

Me: *smiles like a jackass 

Her: We're gonna ake a step back...and this might be shocking but...
Her: this is what denial looks like....

Her: I'm sorry, but you don't have to wear any masks around me...

Me: *tears up *cries

I always read about denial...but I never truly understood it until that moment...

No wonder I've always been such a goofball ya know?