My SO has struggled with their mental health for our entire relationship (and for years prior too). We’ve always thought it was anxiety and depression until recently when a psychiatrist started treating my SO for ADHD and anxiety/ depression. The new drug regimen never worked, and things have just gotten way out of hand since. So much so that my SO is staying at their parents’ place after a physical altercation. 

We decided to try marriage counseling last week, where we finally met a therapist who gave a shit. They got to talking to us about all of my SO’s problems (substance abuse, eating disorder, anxiety, depression, impulsive spending, suicidality, abandonment issues), and finally mentioned BPD and decided to treat my SO solo.

I’ve done a lot of research in BPD and it definitely fits. I finally feel like there is hope, but I’m also immensely sad and broken after everything that’s happened. At this point, me and my SO can’t even talk to each other w/o fighting. They’re starting therapy for BPD tomorrow, and I’m just looking for some encouragement and advice. What can I start doing to avoid fights/ triggering my SO? Etc.