I don't know where else to put this, and that is part of the problem. 

But, life is a process and my path forward is becoming clearer. 

It's a revelation that I'm having to learn and relearn who I am. 

For too long I formed and shaped myself into either a facsimile of those I admire or what my mind thought they wanted of/from me. That is of course my own fault and I've been given the opportunity figure out who I am. I was going to say again, but I don't know that I've ever really known myself. 

This season will be wonderful for that I think. It can still be healthy to take in how others see me and treat it like reinforcement, both negative and positive. I've been told many times that I'm an excellent writer and great at teaching. Taking that encouragement and turning it into more writing would be great personal development (real writing, not posts on the same sub about the same forlornness, or arguing in comment sections).

Today is Tuesday and I feel ready to put in some work. To do for this week:

1. Write each day, and if I must write on Reddit, it has to be a sub I have it posted to before. 

2. Don't second guess opportunities to show kindness. If I think it, share it. 

3. Paint the replica gun that's a lighter that I bought on eBay as an art project. With the paints and brushes I bought specifically for this. 


Not spend so much time on Reddit when I could be getting shit done knowing full well I can complete this list and rambling post later.

So, y'know, stayed tuned... 📺📡📻