I used to visit this sub a ton when I struggled with anxiety &amp; panic. It’s been a while, mainly b/c things were going great and life felt back to normal. Well, I’ve messed up. I got some weed from a friend recently. I’ve never been a smoker, and I think just with boredom and some seasonal depression I decided I wanted to try it. The first few days I smoked, it was great. I would just feel relaxed and sleep well. So, last night, I pack a bowl, take three hits, and put it down. Within about 10-15 minutes, I start feeling like I’m experiencing life in snippets instead of fluidity — almost like in reels. I can’t focus or have a thought without forgetting it. I freak out! I went into a full panic attack so fast, nearly tried to call on a neighbor for help or call 911, luckily got my father to come pick me up and I spent the evening at their place trying to calm down. I’m no longer high but now I’m entirely keyed up, like my brain is locked into a state of worry and even though I’m having internal thoughts about calming down, I can feel how I’m like locked into fight or flight. It’s an awful, awful feeling. I look fine. I think my parents think I’m fine. But I feel so weird still and like I could have another attack soon. 

The thing is — this happened to be because of weed 10 years ago. The same thing. It’s amazing to me how I guess I forgot how bad it feels. My brain has proven over and over again it doesn’t jive with mild-altering substances. I avoid alcohol because of similar issues. 

Now I’m just trying not to freak out and hope another good sleep or two, I’ll start to feel better. But I also remember when I had these episodes in the past it kind of took waves of anxiety over several days before I started to feel good again. 

Either way, I know I won’t feel this way forever — but you still feel like you’ll feel like this forever when it happens because that’s the nature of our anxiety when we have full on panic episodes. 

Not sure if anyone can relate or has advice but as well, I think I want to come back to spending time in this sub. I got the audacity to think panic attacks and anxiety disorder couldn’t touch me anymore, but in reality it’s always a beast waiting to be woken up.