It’s like everyone in my personal, real life thinks I exist to serve them somehow and that’s it. I cannot wait to escape my “family” and move somewhere I’m not constantly forced to be surrounded in their chaos. I’m surrounded in family drama 24/7 from both sides of my family, it’s happened my entire life and I’m basically just numb with the amount of trauma from dealing with manipulators and addicts from birth. 

I don’t have friends in person here to consistently hang out with and they always comment on it, but I never am part of the plan when they all go out. Yet they can consistently include and invite my ex girlfriend who cheated on me. It just feels so fucking unfair sometimes. A lot of times I say I’m over it or push through but in reality I’m so fucking over all of their selfishness. I just want to be left alone from their manipulation. I sit in my room and avoid them daily because it’s beyond trying to repair shit with any of them. I’ve tried to explain my needs and boundaries so many times and I still get the same careless responses. My step dad pays the bills and holds it over my head, guilt tripping me whenever it’s convenient. 

I just feel like everyone’s bitch. What purpose am I serving. I stopped trying to grab a beer with acquaintances, literally every time I get “I’m busy” excuses just to see them post at the bar on Snapchat an hour later. Same acquaintance who last bailed on me mentioned “all you do is sit in your room and watch hockey”. She might not have meant anything but she knows of my situation &amp; depression, so I don’t know why she would say that. People and their dumb ass comments I swear.

I feel so worthless and unappreciated. I just want to be my own man, in my own home with my own work. That’s all I want. Cannot wait to get out and move to a new city holy shit