This is gonna be long, sorry in advance. For as long as I can remember, my mother has always been “off” and I could never pinpoint why or how. From what I’ve gathered over the years she’s a narcissist but that’s as far as I could figure out. I’m at a loss

She can work, drive, and overall function in society, but at the same time she can’t. She’s lived in the US for at least 30 years and can barely speak coherent English yet is a business owner. She can’t read or write (in English or her native language), I have to write and read everything for her and generally hold her hand through everything. She’s “afraid” to talk to customer service reps and demands i do it for her. If I show her how to do things she won’t learn and apply the new information. Even the smallest things like saving a phone contact, using a gps or paying a bill online. it seems to be the little things that she can never grasp. She can’t remember passwords, has dozens of email addresses she can’t access etc.

She is incapable of thinking critically, she has horrible judgement and doesn’t consider the effects of her actions. Last year during lockdown she sold my car for 600 dollars without asking or letting me know about it first. This is because she moved into a home we told her she couldn’t afford, and was too prideful to just ask me for money. 

Another example, My mom has hypertension and doesn’t do anything to manage it. After years of my brother and I being vocal about how awful our baby sisters eating habits are, she would enable them anyway and only buy junk and cook heavy unhealthy meals. my sister has prediabetes now at 244 pounds and a cholesterol of almost 190 (normal is 90). She’s not even 14 yet. The same day of her diagnosis, she buys a huge bucket of KFC for dinner. Then ANOTHER one for dinner the next day. According to her logic, chopping lettuce and making “salad” on the side cancels out the kfc.

she can’t communicate properly and mispronounces words often. Conversations are exhausting because she can’t grasp them and lacks emotional intelligence. She yells at strangers and service people and doesn’t even realize it. Her relationships arent healthy, she can’t keep friends. She was cheated on her entire second marriage with multiple women and still had 3 kids at 43 with her ex husband despite already having 5 she can’t afford. Now, she says she’s “getting married” to a man she’s never met who’s actively draining her bank account.

She has religious delusions and says she sees things. She plays the Quran on the tv 24/7 to subdue a demon that lives in our house after 9pm

Finally, She hoards things and is extremely disorganized. Her closet has always looks like massive piles of clothes on the floor that she tramples every day to get dressed. Her makeup is always heavy handed/messy. The house is generally always dirty


I wish I could have her diagnosed but that would be impossible due to the language barrier and her huge level of pride. My life with her has always consisted of unexpected and even traumatic and life threatening events because of her poor thinking and lack of judgement. Observing other parents and the dynamics they have with their families always shows me that somethings not quite right with my mom and it’s not because of a cultural disconnect.