I recently got diagnosed with bipolar depression. I've never been "bipolar" or at least appeared to be in terms of what most people think of when they hear bipolar. My moods shift a lot, I just don't overtly show it in front of people. I tend to hide and recluse in my room for days and avoid anything, hence bipolar depression. I'm having a hard time accepting it. I KNOW this doesn't make me crazy, per say. I still feel as though I am. Why wasn't I normal? Why couldn't I just cope with everything? I have never been ashamed or embarrassed to talk about my depression and anxiety. EVER. but for some reason, I'm truly worried and terrified that this is something actually very serious and I dread the day I have a significant other and have to tell them. Today only reaffirmed this diagnosis. I woke up seemingly normal though I've been feeling off for a few days. I've been crying, avoiding responsibilities, and lashing out at loved ones all day. I've been rotting in bed for four days. For no reason. Two weeks ago, I felt on top of the world, applied to numerous jobs, made plans with friends that I now want to cancel, etc. Why couldn't I just be normal? I know the question is pointless and not realistic, but why did I have to be like this?