My girlfriend and I are moving into our first apartment together in a little over a month (right around my birthday in mid January) and it's giving me major anxiety, so much so to the point where I cry thinking about it at least once every day for the last month and a half. We've lived together for a year now at her mom's house so it's not the living together that scares me, I think I just may be overwhelmed because her mom had told us not too long ago that she was selling the house thus we needed to find a place to go rather quickly. I've gained this control issue to where I need to be in full control of the situation and every detail needs to be known to me or else the entire thing will go up in flames (which is a bit ironic considering I'm extremely impulsive- thanks BPD and BipolarII) and since we've only essentially had about a month and a half of time to find a place and it's December, I'm losing my shit. I know the moving is normal anxiety bullshit but what's really been sending me is that it's now finals week (although all work leading up to finals is just as stressful so it's not just this week), I'm working crazy hours to save up for bills and such, and we'll still be in the middle of getting our shit together once the beginning of the next semester starts. Granted, I'm 19 years old so I feel like I'm just bitching as a typical young adult because things could be worse but this is all flaring up so much. I feel myself falling into a depressive episode and I'm trying everything I can to resist because this is a really bad time (not that there's ever really a good time), I've been feeling so out of control 24/7 and I think about relapsing constantly (I've been clean since June) and my splitting and rage have been insane. I guess I'm just looking for some words of encouragement or some advice on how to go through this without exploding.