First and foremost, I am in no way trying to self diagnose, I just wanted some advice. I have been diagnosed with depression however recently I feel like I may have been misdiagnosed, I don't feel right and a lot of my symptoms don't add up, however they do with quiet bpd. 

• I often get angry at people for the slightest of things, eg. When I'm on call with a partner and they want to go to bed I get so hurt and feel angry, yet I hate myself for feeling that way as I know it's irrational
• even though I get so worked up at small things, I feel such an impulse to please people. I constantly get extremely panicky incase someones mad at me, even though they're usually not at all
• I always blame myself for everything. I I have this thing in my head that I'm not worthy of love, I'm not worthy of anything and when people abandon me (or more so I percieve them to) I believe that I deserve it 
•often I build my emotion up so much that at night, one thing will set me off and I have a fit of crying, screaming, punching and sometimes choking myself, it's like I lose complete control of my body and my emotion, but it's always alone)
•the other end of the spectrum is that sometimes I will just go numb for a period of hours to even weeks sometimes. I'm so spacey and I don't feel real.
• I overreact a lot. Anytime something happens I have a strong impulse to hurt myself, sometimes suicide( however I've really been trying to get a bit better and I'm able to cope with that impulse a lot more) 
•i really don't feel remotely in control of my emotions. A lot of the time I'm not even sure what I'm feeling, but it's such a strong feeling and it completely overpowers me
• nobody knows about any of this. Some people know of the low mood because I've told them I'm susceptible to depression but I keep all of the strong emotion and the anger to myself


Again, I'm not trying to self diagnose, I'm not saying it's what I have, I would just like some advice from people who maybe know more than me because rn the doctors are closed and I am unable to make an appointment