I have an FP, and they're the person who I'm dating currently. I'm getting a lot better at not acting on my impulses, much much better than last year when I was in and out of psych wards for about five months, still struggling with anorexia but at least I haven't been admitted in a couple of months, which is the longest I've gone without, and I'm really proud of myself for it.

But yeah, something that's really bothering me is that I rely on my FP to feel good, which is straining our relationship quite significantly. I want to stop having a favourite and instead focus on all my friendships so I can spread out who I talk to when going through a crisis. I don't want my relationship to be strained, I don't want to fuck it up, because they mean so much to me.

Everywhere you see how to help your partner who has BPD, but there's never anything to help yourself in a relationship. I can't stand it because I constantly feel like I'm fucking everything up or I'm making something wrong, it's all random attempts that never seem to work and I also really need advice on this. I would really appreciate some advice on dealing with my own bpd in a relationship.