Two months back I shifted to another city for final year of my college which I feel is useless. I don't attend college at all. I felt so guilty that I was wasting my parent's hard earned money, so I took a dead end 10 hour job so that I can pay for my monthly expenses. It's so hard for me to manage both job and college. I barely get to sleep. I don't even hang out with my flatmates because I don't smoke and drink anymore( I don't judge them obviously). I've comoletely dissociated myself from everyone. I'm now scared to share this with my family because I don't wanna keep bothering them every now and them. Every little minor inconvenience makes me feel like crying. It has become so hard for me to spend money even on my meals. I just want to go back home but I'm stuck here. I have no idea what I'm gonna do for my career. I've lost my ability to reason with myself. I have no desire to live anymore. I just want everything to stop. The only thing that's stopping me for killing myself is the thought of my family.