I was dating my boyfriend for about 10-11 months. We loved each other very much, aligned on a lot of values, and were best friends as well as lovers. However, I did the typical self-sabotaging behaviors that came in the form of accusing him of things. I drank heavily, and then it got to a point where I attempted suicide when he asked for a break. I had to move out. We only knew that I had depression and anxiety at the time. He told me I needed to get a therapist. So I got a psychiatrist first, since I wanted to know what the hell was wrong with me because I knew it couldn’t just be depression/anxiety. That’s when I was diagnosed with BPD. I also got a therapist who specializes in DBT and I absolutely love her and have really improved a lot already. However, my ex said that we needed to break up so he could get over the things I hurt him with, and so that I could get help. I apologized and took accountability for everything, and I asked him to research BPD so he could at least get a better understanding of my behaviors and that I really didn’t have a whole lot of control over it. Despite this, he kept saying how hurt he was (I never cheated or lied or did anything super bad), and I really couldn’t say anything other than I’m sorry, I can’t change the past but I can change the present while getting this help. He still seems to think I was out to hurt him and doesn’t understand. I was never out to hurt him. I was basically out to hurt myself subconsciously. He broke up with me and told me that if I truly changed, that he’d be open to a relationship again. I just really don’t feel understood or supported. I respect that he needs to take time to process the hurt I’ve caused, but he just makes it seem like everything was 100% of my fault, which isn’t even true because he had major control issues. I caused most of the dysfunction, yes, but it bothers me that he’s not taking any accountability.