These past three years has been depressing and overwhelming, I lost my brother/best friend April 8 2018 from being shot and killed and it’s been down hill from there. I became a drunk and a pill popper(pain killers) to numb the pain l, even went to the doctors to get prescribed antidepressants but that made me feel worst so I quit that in a week. i became very violent with strangers under the influence and tried to fight everybody I even got booked for assault on a gov official and had to take anger management classes, now a year has gone by since I graduated from the class and became sober, now I’m just depressed and anxious.. trying not to relapse on alcohol or drugs. I have lost 30lbs since quitting it and just trying to workout and find what makes me happy but can’t seem to find that. I use to love skateboarding but now I have no one to skate with since he’s gone I literally only sleep 3hrs the most every night tossing and turning over thinking that it has affect my work and I ended up getting fired for being late all the time... tbh I know I’m a man and shit and shouldn’t feel this way but I just want to feel loved from a woman (not even sex) I mean like to hold me and shit and tell me it’s okay to feel like this. I just wanna feel fucking loved.. idk I’m just a 28 yo Asian guy with a mind all fucked up. (Thanks for hearing my rant. 🙏)