A few weeks ago I matched with someone on an app, and they were just too perfect, and they seemed into me too - things were going great, and then I got ghosted.  I took it well at first, but then I saw someone else on the app who had her name, and now I can't stop thinking about it...  I don't want to be like this, it feels so creepy and dumb.  

Why is it that if someone shows interest I suddenly imagine us being in a full on relationship, and that makes me feel terrible about myself when things inevitably don't work out.  I fucking hate this, I just spent two hours in a near suicidal state because I remembered the whole thing...  Thank god I'm living with my family and was just able to go have my mom hold me until it passed, it's a luxury not every mentally ill person in their 20s gets.  I have no idea what I'll do when I move out again and/or when she passes on (in a lot of ways I hope I do before she does, but obviously I don't because of how it would devastate her)