I'm just going to start with asking if some people just deserve to have a bad life or suffer through our life.
I know some people have it worse than me. But it seems like life just keep going down a steep hill.

Ever since I was diagnosed with depression life has gone to shit. It was already shit but now life is just a joke. In the span of two years my life has really gone to shit

My dog died two years ago, I dropped out of school, found the love of my life who left me two months after dating. I picked up school again and 1 month later I got a disc herniation, my depression got worse, I've become socially awkward.

I started playing Airsoft because I found it fun. Only some games in my gun broke and I couldn't play anymore. 1 to 2 months ago I fixed my gun and played 6 hours. Now I can't play anymore because my back has gotten worse. My mom is in the hospital because of intestinal obstruction, my ATV stopped working.

My pc that I worked so hard for can't connect to the wifi anymore. 

There is so much more that has happened too.
I can't be happy anymore because seconds after smiling my life comes crumbling down again. It's so hard to keep going forward when you keep getting pulled down to the ground again. No matter how many times I pick myself up I just get dragged down again.

The thing that hurts the most is looking how far your friends have come in their life. When I haven't even gone past the starting line.

How do you deal with everything without falling or start thinking about how the world would have looked without you.