TW FOR SELF HARM
I dont know what to do about this mystery 'feeling' Ive been dealing with forever. I cant quite place my finger on what it is I feel. Its like a big wave of euphoria and giddiness come over me and it manifests itself in reckless decisions and it always comes with a side effect of self harm. I get a large urge to harm myself even when I'm feeling relatively happy. Ive noticed that my behavior more recently has been fluctuating between very sad moments and then it resolves itself with very high amounts of positive-emotions.  I dont know if this is even the right subreddit to ask about this, but Ive circled through a therapist who encouraged my self harming tenancies and I dont know who else to ask about this weird cycle of emotions. LMK if there is a different subreddit to go to, or if you habe any advice for me. Thanks.