(long post sorry!) hi y'all, i really have no idea what to do and i'm hoping someone here might have ideas. so i'm 20 and i live with my parents. my mom has always suffered from severe anxiety which has caused her to be really overprotective of me. she and i have both experienced trauma and i can understand why she wants to protect me, but covid has made her anxiety 10 times worse. 

she and i are immunocompromised and my grandma is in long-term care, so we've always been very cautious about covid, but my mom's measures have remained a bit extreme. ever since the start of the pandemic, we've been social distancing within our house, never leaving the house except to go to uni or work (not even walks), and wearing multiple masks when we're in the car together despite always being in the house together. i have to come directly home as soon as i finish class to limit exposure despite being in a small program where i see the same 10 people every day. we can't really hang out in the house because we each have to sit on separate couches or eat at separate tables. we never see friends, even socially distanced, and whenever my friends stop by to say hello from outside or drop something off, my mom makes them stand on our driveway while i yell down from an upstairs window. to be clear, i take all safety measures i can and want to be as safe as possible to protect myself and my family. but despite covid case numbers dropping where i live and things starting to finally get a bit safer, my mom's heightened safety measures haven't changed at all since march 2020. 

the worst part is the backlash that happens whenever something makes her anxious. she's impossible to reason with because if i do anything that makes her anxious or doesn't adhere 100% to her covid rules, she starts yelling, insulting me, and telling me i'm going to kill her. i do everything i can to follow the rules, but somehow it's never enough and she can always find something that i've done wrong that proves that i'm not responsible enough to keep her safe. i can't really risk breaking the rules because i know the fight that follows just wouldn't be worth it.

i've tried everything to get my mom to ease up even just a little. i've researched things you can do safely, looked at data, had her talk to her doctors and to my friend who's in nursing school, tried to reason with her using science, and presented plans for how to take some baby steps back into the world, but she's literally unable to listen and refuses to believe anyone. i don't even want to do anything risky like go to concerts unmasked or anything, but it would be nice to be able to go for a walk or to the mall with my friends or get involved in activities at school once in a while.

i feel really trapped. i literally haven't left the house or done anything normal aside from going to school in 2 years and it's really taking a toll on my mental health. seeing everyone else going back to normal while i'm still stuck inside is hard, especially now that i'm in my 20s, what's supposed to be the most exciting time of my life. i've seen some posts of people in similar situations and people have told them to just move out or stand up to their parents. standing up to her and going out anyways would only lead to a huge fight and way tighter restrictions, which would make everything worse. as for moving out, my remote jobs don't pay well enough and i can't get a regular job because that would involve leaving the house. even if i was able to afford to move out, the ensuing fight would probably cost me my relationship with my mom.

does anyone have any ideas for how to make this bearable or move towards some semblance of normal?