Almost every time if I tell someone I was bullied by many and had a shit childhood, I'm met with "I don't see why anyone would bully you". 
And I didn't either at first, but when it's almost litteraly everyone around me, and when it goes on for several years, the mind starts changing.
Thoughts pop up "there IS something wrong with me" "I'm not normal" "I wish I were someone else". Every day I would get smaller and smaller until there was only a tiny piece left.
Luckily, I recovered. Did something about it. 
And yet... all these years later, my body is punishing me. I never know when my next depression sets in, or how bad it will be, how long it will last. I live with constant fear when I'm happy that something will happen and mess it up, because I know it will. Instead of enjoying my good days fully, I prepare for the next down. 
There really IS something wrong with me. I finally have a girl and a child. All I ever really wanted. She is the best person I can possibly think of, and my daughter is the smartest baby I've ever seen. 

Why is it not enough. On the outside, everything is how I'd like it to be. And I love them so much, I would never let my phases be their burden. But I really feel like I'm fighting every single day. Just to keep the apperances up. Just to be that perfect guy, because God forbid that anyone sees any weak or exposed side of me.

Scrolling through this sub and the depmemes sub, I get the feeling that many of you are quite young. I know how crippling it can be. Just start early to reverse whatever you can and do not set too high standards for yourselves. I sincerely hope that for most of you, it's just for a horrible period and then it's over. That's it. You made it. And for those who keep struggling, I hope you find whatever can fill your void. I have started to believe that nothing will fill mine. 

Some of this might seem like advice, but I just wish I'd told myself this earlier. Maybe I would have more energy. Then again, maybe not.