I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar, panic disorder, agoraphobia, and ADHD, but none of those diagnoses have caused me so much pain as BPD.

My mom told me horrible things about BPD when I was little, and since then mg head has been filled with additional negative things about it.

With everything else there’s a solid biological reason, but not with this.

I suddenly can’t trust myself to be around people, and I can’t trust my interpretations of situations, and I can’t trust my emotions, and I can’t trust myself.

This distrust and sudden awareness of the instability I live in constantly is killing me. I’ve lost so much sleep,I can barely manage eating a meal a day.

All of the stigma is also giving that negative voice in my head plenty of ammunition to use against me. I keep obsessing over how I’m being manipulative or how I’m just going to ruin a friendship, or how me freaking out is going to make people leave me, and how I should leave first so I don’t hurt people.

I just hate having the diagnosis so much.

Am I alone in this?