T/W: Mentions of Self Harm, Suicide, and Self Image.  


My journey with mental health has always been a struggle but recently it's gotten worse to the point where I'm no longer functioning and one of the reasons that I've been struggling a lot is due to my recent diagnosis of BPD. I am a 18y/o male and I have depression, anxiety, suicidal tenancy, self image issues, and recently diagnosed with BDP. I got admitted to the hospital last week after multiple nights of just completely wanting to kill myself. I got my medication changed around and now I'm on some medication that helps a bit. When I was inside the hospital I vaguely remember a nurse telling me I have BDP but I looked over it not really realizing what BDP was. After I got out I started reading my stay notes and then rediscovered that I was diagnosed with BDP. It's been something that has constantly been on my mind the last couple days and it significantly affecting my state of functioning. I think mostly it's a fear of accepting the diagnosis and the stigmatization that comes along with the diagnosis. It's like a feeling of isolation. I had an appointment a couple days ago with my therapist that I've been established with prior to inpatient and I told her about the diagnosis and we went over the criteria and she said that I technically fit the criteria but she doesn't see it in me. That conflict of opinion has me kind of doubting myself as well. Part of my difficulty is since I've spent so much time learning about BDP it kind of makes sense. I feel like I fit into the Quiet BDP type so well and it's like a psychologist evaluated me for it so he must be more knowledgeable in that kind of thing. Has anyone else experienced a similar experience in where you constantly were getting conflicting opinions? How did you handle or cope with your diagnosis? What did you do in response to the diagnosis medically? I've also been told it's really early to diagnosis BDP due to developmental changes coming from transitioning from adolescence to adulthood. Did you struggle with determining if your condition might be a case of emerging BDP?