Im so closed off its not even funny. Nobody knows me anymore not even my family. Im like conventially attractive I guess yet not that many people like me because there's just not much to like. I feel like I come across as empty and not "all there" lmao. I don't really open up or contribute much to conversations. Im just so fucking boring to be around. I dissociate half my life away and just zone out in my head  all day and don't know how to be a real person anymore. I want everyone to love me without putting in any effort lmao. I idolize new people I talk to so much at first then after a few weeks to a month I'm bored and don't want to talk to them anymore. I feel so lonely and out of touch. I see so many people that aren't even as conventially "attractive" as me be 100x more successful or popular on social media/real life than me because I just simply don't put myself out there. I have no quirky personality traits that distinguish me from everyone else. I get tired of engaging with people. Everywhere I see people that just seem so cool and put together compared to me??? They all have unique qualities that make people like them/make them stand out. I don't. I'm just a lost soul constantly absorbing traits off different people. I have no talents, hobbies, interests, I'm really not that funny or interesting, I just sit in bed all day and waste my life away on my phone. Like I genuinely do not know what I'm doing half the time, I'm so in my head and out of touch with reality and myself it's scary.. I'm just scared lmao I am sick of feeling like a ghost. I wanna feel ANYTHING again. Fear, pain, sadness, happiness, literally anything. But I'm just empty.