I'm a 19 year old ex highschool student (Abiturient in germany) 
Last year I found a way of making my friends in highschool hate me so they wouldn't miss me and I poisoned myself in the holydays. 
I told my friends from my other former school because I wanted them to know what I was doing.
One particular friend called Justin called me and even though he was sobbing tried to talk me out of it in every way he could. Some time later my sister found me and an ambulance which had already been called came to scoop me up. I spent 2 days in hospital of which I couldn't sleep even an hour.
The second morning a male nurse came in to give me washing utensils and asked me if I'd rather have half an hour more of rest to which I replied with yes. Immediately after he'd left the room a female nurse in the hall said:"He's been lying there all day and now he wants more sleep?" And used a german saying which rougly translates to "that's where the friendship ends".
When I heard that I wanted to choke myself.

After that they immediately transported me to a clinic for the mentally ill. I had told a very good friend of mine 5 years ago that this was my biggest phobia. The first day was the worst since I was stationed in a closed facility where I would sleep behind barred windows. I called my dad and he tried to calm me down but I was violently crying and felt left behind so I just hung up. I slept the whole rest of the day eating nothing so I was up all night. I didn't know what to do so I got my phone out and read through all of Ichi the Killer until morning.

On day 2 I had calmed down a bit and formed a plan. I was blood tested on that day and due to my sleep deprivity and fasting the former day I got really nauseous. Since I knew they weren't just gonna let me go I played nice. I was moved to a half open station the next day after an evaluation and the promise that I wasn't going to hurt myself.

In the following five days I got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and prescribed with antidepressants. I'm also lucky that my best friends parents work for the clinic so they're renting a house on the facility grounds which meant that he could visit me often.

Since I was still in school I was asked to inform my teachers of my current situation and maybe figure out a way to get homework sent so they could still grade me.
On day five I was offered to be let go the next weekend so I could reattend school which was just a narrative I had followed because I didn't care about it at all.

When I came home my parents didn't want me to go to school for a while at least. After a few months, in which I still took prescribed antidepressants, I had some violent outbursts after I felt that my father was making fun of me. He then followed me to my room but failed to calm me down again. I'm a brutal person but I didn't want to hurt my dad because he's the most important person in my life so I punched a cabinet so hard that the door cracked.
I got a new prescription for anger management.

Some weeks later when my parents finally wanted me to go to school again I told them I would drop out and get a job of which my dad was positively surprised. But that was just something I said to have more time home doing nothing.

My dad wanted me to get therapy for my BPD and after a session where I was offered therapy on station like before or therapy that was like a school day after which I could go home again.
I declined both because I didn't want to be anywhere other than home anymore.

Then came the day that I did drop out of school and went to the "Arbeitsamt", which is basically a job center on crack, and told them I was searching for work. I missed the first meeting they sent me and am now waiting for a second after some paperwork. Also I should mention that I'm not insured right now.

My dad set me a deadline to get work until August after which he would throw me out of the house which I don't think he would do but you never know. 

Now we are in the present and I have nothing left to live. I don't have goals or ambitions and I don't want to get a job and work. What would be the reason to bust my ass all day getting paid an atom of what politicians make being idiots. I don't want money because there's nothing in this world worth buying. I don't need a car, a house or anything fancy. I don't want to settle down or have a family of my own and I don't care if people remember me as a hero, an asshole, or not at all. I don't want to see the world or help humanity. And living just so my friends and family don't have to see me die is painful and has gotten old after 8th grade.

There is just no reason for me to live anymore and I'm going to wait till next weekend so I can talk with my best friend for a last time and this time I'm going to make sure as shit that no ambulance can arrive in time. I'm going to cut my wrists or my carotid artery maybe even both. I seriously don't think anyone can help me anymore so I think this is more of a goodbye for good post.

Hope you guys will be off better than I am.