My best friend (and potentially, future partner, once we make that decision) have shared a strong online relationship for almost 3 years now and intend to room together this summer. It's the healthiest, closest, most fulfilling friendship either of us have been in. They also have made it extremely clear how much they value their space; that is, time away from everyone for a good long while. 

Just tonight they expressed that if they were to have a romantic relationship with anyone, they'd ideally leave for a full month at least two times a year and drift because they want to stop "being bound by the people important to them" for awhile. I was supportive, of course, as they are my closest friend and I want them to be happy no matter what, but when they express these desires to be rid of the people close to them I always end up feeling awful. Like, "I'm not enough for them; of course they'd want distance from me, I'm a terrible friend, they must hate me; they can't stand the idea of spending a full year in a shared space with me because I'm just that reprehensible," et cetera. 

It makes me extremely distraught, slightly unresponsive, and extremely self-loathing for the next few hours if not days, even if I manage to hide my irrational hurt. Any tips on how to stop feeling like this?