End of a really hard day. I'm going through a break up and had a major setback in my emotional pain level. I also had to cram all last night for a test so I was sleep deprived so probably my dopamine levels were very low. I'm too afraid to push away friends, so I texted my mom all day about how suicidal I was feeling. 

I took my adderall mid day and felt much less suicidal, so I was also probably crashing from taking that yesterday when studying.

How do I get over feeling like crap that this is what I go through every time someone ends it with me? The fact that I crumble feels like proof of my worthlessness, and I just "know" what my exes feel is nothing in comparison to this (I don't know that, but it feels like I do, and it's likely they don't feel this acute since most people don't) How do I not feel like my reaction to relationships ending makes me the biggest loser ever? This last relationship was pretty healthy, and I was pretty stable and felt good about myself. But now my self esteem is so low that I feel like that feeling was a joke.

Do you guys not feel lesser than other people because of your symptoms?