TLDR: Angry kind of anxiety for the first time - not sure if it’s a true or false alarm. Need tips and perspective. Thank you!

Okay, I’m posting again. My apologies. I am just having a rough few days. I have moderate social anxiety that has been leaning towards severe the past few days and social cues have been incredibly incomprehensible for me. I am hoping for kind folks here to help me see things objectively.

So, I posted that there has been a texting mishap with my new SO two days ago and we sorted it out. I was still feeling anxious for some reason but I tend to find a new thing to be anxious about every time so I figured this is just a case of it.

I decided to ask him out to a cute date tomorrow. I asked him if he wanted to go ice skating with me again or build a blanket fort, and he said he wanted to do both. He seemed excited. But I found out from his Facebook page around 8 pm (he knows I follow his professional page - he’s dabbling into broadcasting) that he’s on air tomorrow evening/night. 

I have always been super supportive of his hobby and am a fan of his broadcasts! It is just I thought we were spending the night together because that’s what we always do and he didn’t even let me know he’s planning to work the night until around midnight! He asked if we can meet early afternoon. I am quite irritated on top of anxious by then but tried to stay calm and told him it’s okay but I thought he was doing his thing in the afternoons as usual. And he told me he’s still trying to figure out what the “usual” is. 

I always look forward to our weekends and I think he does as well - but this response didn’t sit well with me. Granted, I like planning things way ahead because having things planned out gives me some sort of calmness. He can also be an anxious person but he is extremely spontaneous and plans things last minute. We both learned to compromise and he usually confirms plans at the end of work day on Fridays (we verbalize that we will see each other next weekend at the end of each date). I’ve just been almost feeling angry since midnight and it’s 2 am now. This is an angry kind of anxiety I’m feeling is for the first time in three months I’ve been with him, I’m actually mad at him. My body is trying to push me into the fight or flight mode but because I have BPD along with anxiety, I learned in group therapy that this might be a false alarm for folks like me. Not sure how to identify what I’m feeling is valid or reasonable and how to process this new type of irritated/angry kind of anxiety. Some perspective and tips will be much appreciated. Thank you for reading. ❤️