I know there is no one absolute wish. But it’s what I need to save this relationship. I’ve turned my poor boyfriend, who once had so much energy and love and care to give me, into a drained emotionless zombie. He told me he isn’t planning to break up, but he doesn’t feel like we’re even dating anymore. He’s experiencing compassion fatigue.

When I look back, I feel like I made progress, especially for someone who had to quit therapy (financial reasons). It’s enough if I’m alone, but it isn’t if I’m trying to save this relationship. 

I’ll deal with these emotions all day if I have to. I wish I could just stop hurting him and other people and handle them myself. My episodes make me abusive. DBT’s gradual change isn’t cutting it anymore.

Sorry I keep posting. I’m tired and hurt and at a loss of what to do.