I know everybody gets lied to every now and then in life, but ive recently been lied to by my fp (and boyfriend..) I’ve found that to be my biggest trigger for extremely explosive anger episodes. It wasn’t about cheating or any huge dealbreakers. 
I’ve never really struggled with explosive anger before, or even really bad anger at all but I’ve found it really come out of me lately after this. Usually in the past I’ve been very good at finding coping mechanisms and controlling the way I feel (usually it’s been in the form of previously debilitating sadness when something negative happens that I often kind of perceive as entirely negative) and removing things from my life that I know trigger me.
I really don’t want to leave my boyfriend (we’ve found couples therapy together where our therapist has encouraged growth from this) but I also really can’t get over the fact I was lied to - even though that’s INTEGRAL to our relationship right now. I get episodes of absolutely explosive anger where I make threats towards me and him, insults, screaming and even find myself with the urge to hit the things around me, which I’ve never had before. I can’t predict them coming, as it’ll usually start with me trying to ask him a normal question about what he lied about that randomly came to me (sometimes a repetitive question I’ve asked before) and in the moment I don’t even really notice that I’m doing these harmful things and I don’t know how to stop myself at that point. 
I really love him and in the past I’ve been good at maintaining a healthy relationship and boundaries despite his “fp” status (which began after our relationship) but ever since this I’ve felt like I can’t leave him alone or he’ll betray me.