I am fresh into my 5th week at a new job and last week I made a mistake, which was retrievable but still potentially critical enough. After that, I got kindly reminded why it was important for me not to let this happen again and how much they count on me for preventing such issues from arising. My direct manager was even kind enough to ask me if I think she could help me more overcome this issue in anyway. Today, two other things went wrong, one of which was an entirely technical glitch, but one can easily think that it was my mistake, and the other one was actually stemming from someone else’s fault but was something that I could have also prevented. I talked to people who are directly involved in the matters mentioned to fix the problems, but not to my manager, as they were not actually my mistakes I did not think it would be wise to claim responsibility for those and make myself look like a fool. Not sure if this was the right call.

Since earlier on today, I can’t stop feeling like a failure and every time my manager is talking to someone from our team, I feel like she found out about those mistakes and is convinced I was responsible for them and now they are talking about me and what a mistake they have made by hiring me. Or in general my shortcomings and discussing whether they think I should not be given this much responsibility because I can’t obviously handle this. 

I have always been an anxious person and this was an issue in my previous job as well, but I really hated this job and was looking for a way out anyway, so I tried to reassure myself thinking it is not the end of the world even if they had ended up firing me. However, I dearly love this job and it would kill me to lose it over mistakes that I could have prevented. On the other hand, I am well aware that this is a vicious cycle and this is actually counterproductive for me now as I tend to make more mistakes as i get anxious. Please help me get out of this cycle!!