Since I was young, I only had a few friends, everyone always told me if only I wasn't so shy, Id be so popular... But I just can't like everyone, can't get along with anyone, I'm very picky and judgmental when it comes to that and I've started hating it because now I don't make friends ever and whenever I make one, I get attached to them and they leave. But now I know they'll leave and I'm fine with them leaving but... Why :(

I'm so scared ill never find someone. I'm not even speaking about someone romantically, even platonicaly. Creating a connection with someone without having to force it. Will it ever happen again? Did it ever happen?

I feel like there's somethings wrong with me.... I've been alone my whole life.