I commented on here about how i had an ex partner i been trying to go no co tact with. she emailed me twice from two different emails, then texted me from a random number pretending it wasn’t her asking if i’d have sex with her again. ugh. it triggered me and made me spiral. 

another woman i’ve been seeing, er we’re watching a movie and it seem she wanted sex. she made out with me, put my hand on her genitals. just triggered me to being assaulted as a kid and feeling powerless. so i gave her sex, it was bad, she left and called me to be like “did you only ask me to come over to have sex? i didn’t even cum” i didn’t even want sex and she didn’t ask me for consent! idk. i called RAINN. it was a lot. 

i made a snapchat about how stressful it was and sent it to my close friends at the top of my list. idr exactly how i said it but i described the situation, my day how bad it was and his stressed tf out i was. i guess it got sent to an friend i reconnected with (we were messaging recently). when i realized it sent to him i said fuck it. he messaged me cussing me out telling me not to be disrespectful but to keep that shut away from him he doesn’t need negative energy in his life and to keep that side of me to myself? people don’t need to see it. i’m like bro i can’t help being borderline. i can’t help feelin so overwhelmed and feel i have to take a bunch of my anxiety pills to calm me down. I just wanna be no