Wish i could take it all back. Maybe im just not meant to have my own family. It's just so much, too much, i cant even say what im thinking, i try my best, i try to be genuine and sincere in my ways but it's not good enough. Im not good enough. Im just trying to be good. I dont want to spend the rest of my life with someone that just doesnt get me or appreciate me or trust me. I wish i could live alone. Close to friends and family. I think ill be better off alone. Its the stupidest fucking things and im still wrong. What i say and think is all fucking wrong. I don't know what to do. I dont want to change who i am. I dont want to think about how im going to answer for 30 seconds trying to fucking parse out what the hell he wants to know. It shouldn't be this hard. I just want to be me and want my best to be accepted and appreciated. I just want to be understood. I just want to talk without feeling like walking on eggshells. I dont want to talk anymore. I dont want to be here. I dont know what to do with myself. I want to sleep forever. I wish i could get out without causing any heartache. If only.