I've been on the edge of break up with my boyfriend for about a week now. In part because I feel awful cause of a med change I'm going through. (Going off Effexor 225mg and onto Cymbalta)
Most of our fights are my fault cause I say mean stuff for no reason or get upset over tiny things. Yknow, normal bpd crap. Today I finally realized how horrible it is that I can't even be nice to and appreciate the people who actually care about and can stand me and support me. I just throw every bad thing they do in their face and mess everything up.
I feel like I'll never have a lasting relationship because of this. With anyone. I was raised to basically have a life goal of getting married and having kids, so this is devastating. I don't even feel like life is worth living. Why am I even worth being alive if I'm just awful to everyone? I don't understand how people even love me, especially cause I don't love me.
Anyway, just needed to vent. Thanks. &lt;3