I've (30M, autistic) been dating my gf (29F, BPD) for 6 years and she recently ghosted me and sent me a breakup email a month later after a stressful event (we weren't fighting exactly, but we were moving-- not to the same place by her choice-- and I was being really irritable), saying she would answer questions and explain things but that it could be months for mental health reasons. She's always told me that anytime someone does this, the partner should wait, and that she could see herself being gone for "months", and so on, and I know she has periods where she can't speak or communicate-- but now, without feedback, I'm losing my "faith" and questioning it. I even find myself getting mad when really there's almost no content to get mad over since we haven't talked about it at ALL and I have no idea what the actual precipitating event was. Has anyone ever been under such distress that they had to isolate for months, and still come back eventually? We are NOT a high-conflict relationship and have only had a few fake-ups back in the day, all of which I waited out. I'm not saying every time someone with BPD breaks up with someone it's BPD related, or unjustified even if it is, etc. I just strongly feel that something isn't right and that once the dust settles, we will reunite-- but I have no idea how long that might be and if I'm being crazy to wait it out.  


I've just been sending love letters twice a week so I'm not being overwhelming blowing up her phone or anything (and she freaks out when ppl show up at her house due to being NC with a stalker mom, so that's absolutely not an option since I promised). I keep thinking maybe she loves it and then thinking maybe she's totally disgusted. I'm NOT harrassing her to come back or yelling at her or shaming her for being gone in the letters, they're just letters as though someone was away on a trip. "Here's what's happening in my life, how are you? I'm reading such and such and thought you might be interested to hear such-and-such. Love you, ttyl."