I'm not a bad driver. Learned to drive in a busy city and I actually enjoy it most of the time. But I'm a cautious driver. I was taught to always expect other people to make mistakes. So I mostly stick to the speed limit, go slower when the view is obstructed, keep away from other cars and such. It's a running joke between my friends that I'm the worst driver around, but it's not true. They just drive more recklessly which I find rather stupid.

In my country, traffic is well regulated. Roads are maintained and speed limits enforced by police. We have many, often complicated rules, but most people abide by them. When I drive here, I feel secure. Not necessarily because I know the way well, but because there's an inherit trust that the roads are safe and traffic is regulated at all times. There's no need to worry too much. I do get somewhat anxious if I'm in an unfamiliar city with loads of traffic and I don't know the way, but it's not the same kind of crippling anxiety that I get when I drive across the border.

Now, I love our neighboring country. They have beautiful nature, lovely people, and amazing food. What they don't have are safe roads or regulated traffic. They don't even have traffic signs in most parts. The locals somehow manage to navigate without drama, but they grew up there. I didn't. And I've gotten so scared of their roads that I now try to avoid driving there altogether. 

My major issues are

\- there are no signs. You rarely know the speed limit but usually there really isn't one. Everyone can drive as fast as they want, but if you go too slow, people will rage which stresses me out a lot. You never know what's too fast or too slow. 

\- the roads are not maintained. They are usually incredibly damaged so you risk breaking your car on some parts. There's flooding (and of course no signs warning you about it), giant potholes, sinkholes, fallen trees, mudslides, rocks falling. Sometimes roads just end without warning. I've nearly driven off a cliff more than once. Sometimes there's a sudden dead end after you drove 20 miles. No sign telling you so. In my country stuff like this is extremely rare. It doesn't really happen and if it does, road workers treat it as an emergency and roads will only be reopened once safe to drive. If there's a road, it's safe to drive. Across the border, this isn't the case. 

\- people rarely follow traffic rules or common sense. This is great if you have the confidence to follow their example, but less great if you are a worrier. Every time I drive across the border, I get into so many near accidents. I might try to follow some sort of traffic rules, but if no one else does, well. I know the best strategy is to follow the flow and not stick to rigid rules in situations like this, but everything is happening too fast for me to "just follow". 

I feel like most of my anxiety related to driving across the border isn't actually unfounded. The roads aren't safe. That's a fact. But millions of people use them every day without shitting their pants, no? And I doubt any of the locals ever nearly drive off a cliff. So it shouldn't be so much of a problem for me. And I think another large part is that I don't speak the language well enough. I always learn more and more, but if there are signs warning of danger ahead they are usually too complicated for me to read (walls of small text). They don't really do pictograms or easy-to-read. 

Has anyone found a way to combat this kind of driving-related anxiety? Is there anything I can do to relax more and panic less? Just driving there isn't helping. I feel like it gets worse every time I cross the border.