Once I read up about opposite process theory i live in constant mood swings, no negative thoughts sometimes i just feel bad, i know why and that it will end, sometimes i feel happy i know why and why this will end, happines is measured in sadness, everytime i escaped opponent process it came back, its proving itself on every aspect of my life and life of others, once I had some kind of good time like 2 weeks, like rlly good, when i was thinking about this theory then i thought its some bullshit. Then on family weekend, i didnt want to go to mountains, i knew it will end badly something seemed off, then during weekend i started to suffer from insane derealizations anxiety panic attack and depression, the mental pain was as strong   phisical, it lasted like a week. You might say oh you have bipolar disorder or some other shit. The fact is if i have then everyone on earth have. I want this to end but i know i cant, its literally 0 i dont belive in death, i dont exist. Im stuck in this for existence you are too if you even fucking exist, if everyone is the same why would other ppl even exist, Im consious about my sadness and i know this will go away soon or not, better the reward lmao. You cant argue with me theres no scientific proof of mind desired to be happy. I think thats the law of existence, we are the univerese