I'm a 30 year old wedding photographer. Have had a company with my partner S for 9 years now. Alcoholic for a couple of years now.

The effects of my over drinking and indiscipline is reflecting in my work now. In the photos and the edits. X clients post engagement party was a fuckup. Big fuckup. It was a festive occasion, but i should not have entertained people or atleast joined them in drinking that day as i was aware that I had to go shoot in the evening. Got bullshit photos. Blurred, no frame no nothing. Should have put a flash gun and fired atleast as the light was so bad. But that's in the past now.

Edited the pictures and sent it to the client and she was disappointed.
Even my editing is bad right now. I stayed up all night to do this....for what? Dishearting the client?
Should have simply asked the editor to do it sooner and not rush into doing it myself. I could have worked on another pending assignment and by now it would have been done too!


Haste makes waste.

Should I completely leave my profession and look at a different field of work?

I definitely should change my lifestyle around. Tobacco, alcohol, pot, the sleeping patterns, all need to be let go. I cannot continue doing this to myself and my near and dear ones....

Please give me the strength to restart. The courage to restart. Because I am only headed towards my doom if I continue this.