Im not sure if this is an extension of possible ocd or what, but there is a specific number (not naming it for obvious reasons) that sends me into a state of extreme discomfort. 

I suddenly realize how uneven my limbs are, and theres a specific convulsion to bend my ring finger + penultimate toe as far as possible so it cant “shrink” to be smaller than my pinkie. I always give in, and my ring knuckle appears noticeably shorter than its peers because of it. Ironically, this crazes me even further, and i gnaw at the knuckle to the point of ripping skin off. Both my ring fingers are very bruised and fleshy(?) in comparison to the rest of my hand, which traps me inside an endless loop. My flight or fight reaction is triggered at any pattern in which the penultimate figure is shorter or different from the rest. I view everything through this lens; if i write a paragraph where the majority of sentences end in question marks, but the penultimate concludes with a period— i will rush to fix it. If i happen not to notice it before finalizing the process, it will taint my mind and make me want to stop breathing. I cant even spare a glance at graphs. 

Ive had to resist the urge to amputate all my toes. I notice, every time my feet are in view, that my pinkie toe is sharper than my penultimate. I dont know if the pinkie is technically taller than it or not; i try not to look. I cant stop popping my penultimate toe, in hopes that it will grow as big as the big toe. I dont know why i think like this. I cant go one day without feeling as if my bodys contorted and inhuman. Its making me suicidal.