I want to kill myself because a guy is interested in me and I can't be fucked being bpd anymore because literally what doesn't make me want to kill myself?? I wish no one would get attached to me so I didn't have to worry about destroying them because I'm out of control. I want to be left to do my own thing yet still reap the benefits of having people being attached to me I guess I want to be single and do my own thing. I feel like if someone feels like they're sharing me they'll leave me because my ex told me that the minute I slept with someone else after he cheated on me (which I think is justified) that I lost my worth. I don't want to belong to one person I guess but after being told that I feel like thats the only way it can be. I'm rambling sorry I'm not even sure what this post is anymore does anyone know what I mean or am I talking shit?