I need help or talk to someone, or something, idk what...life feels like its closing in on me and I don't know where or what to do. So for context I am a shy 18 year old male turning 19 next month. I try to make up my shyness by working hard. For school I moved in my sophomore year so I felt that it was too hard to make friends so I just focused on my classwork I also hated the whole concept of school so I finished a semester early which didn't mean much since coronavirus closed down everything early. My parents got divorced last year which was tough because to the one girl that I was talking to at work things were going okay I had a handful of friends at work. And work was enjoyable but my dad went crazy and went on my phone and called my crush a "bitch" and to "never talk to me" which really missed things up because just saying hi was hard and now I had drama to resolve. I think it scared her away and she felt that I was troubled child because it didn't work out. From my parents divorce I wanted to move out but I figured that renting is a waste of money so I worked 40 hours for nearly 2 years in a row and now next month I am buying a house which probably raises my stress but I know it will be good long term. But since I know I am buying a house and my hard work paid off, I want to relax but it feels hard. Talking to my friends are hard because it has been over 6 months and talking to co workers is challenging because they are all old people or think I'm hitting on them because they are young and female. I stopped smoking weed for 9 months but I recently picked it back up but smoking alone is depressing and makes me feel worse. I want to smoke with a friend and chill out smooth my anxiety and just listen and feel like someone cares and knows I care about them. But when I ask friends they are either all busy or make up some excuse. Making new friends is challenging for me because it is hard for me to just "hi" to anyone. It feels like I am all alone and it is scary I'm moving out parents are divorced my previous friends are growing up and have jobs and are going to college but I don't know where I am. Which is scary and creates anxiety mostly since i don't have anyone and the fear of loneliness is daunting.