All the liquor stores are closed, been drank all the alcohol I had in my apt. Was given a a shot, even tho, wtf I need force myself to sleep so I don't do anything stupid... this ain't gonna do jack shit... Even went to 2 bars, to be told nope we stopped serving. 
My dad had a stroke this week and it's killing me inside since he's one of the main reasons why I'm still trying. Shit the person who I thought I was gonna married acts like I don't even exist is busy enjoying themselves while knowing what I'm going thru. I hate being alone.
I wanna give up so bad.