So as you all know by now, my FP has BPD but also has chronic alcoholism.

I was wondering if there are others here who struggle with alcoholism?

I ask because I dont struggle with it so it's very hard for me to feel compassion for my FP when she is drunk and completely out of line mode than usual.

I think if I am able to understand I will be able to sympathize and be kinder and more understanding about it.

For the most part the drinking is daily and is at least 24 fluid ounces of 80 proof vodka per day with 4 regular beers per day.

It used to be double that amount per day.

I'm helping her taper off but at this point shes refusing additional tapering which I get why since she gets the shakes and starts to vomit if she doesnt have any vodka.

My thing is, the horrendous behavior...

Today she yelled at me a lot as per usual because of being drunk and unable to stop drinking because of withdrawls but then she got extremely sad, she was crying, hyperventilating and then...

About an hour ago she hyper ventilated a 2nd time and TRIED TO JUMP OUT OF THE CAR WHILE IT WAS STILL MOVING!!! 

EEEEEK!!! I Completely freaked out bc #1 WTF!!!? and #2 I had just finished driving through an extreme heavy rain at night and my eyes arent too good and I was driving on an overpass that was next to the ocean so, one wrong turn and I'm dead and drowned in the ocean.

Honestly, 
Likely I said on my last post, if i could i would send her home early for her safety and mine but the cost of sending her home early is 200 - 300 dollars :-(

At this point I am going to just leave all day on some sort of bus tour of the Island and let her sleep. However, come 8am she will be calling me up asking for her next fix of alcohol which if she doesnt get she will start projectile vomiting, or just normal vomiting...

I feel trapped.

Maybe understanding what is going on will help me not be so angry about it all.