Hello, today is my 20th birthday and I’m just so sad.
I started off today trying super hard to be happy and such. I have to watch my sister this weekend, (it’s a long story but she’s 18 and had an issue with depression meds that caused her to be catatonic and she just got out of the hospital), but my sister can’t spend much time outside because of her new meds. It’s 96 degrees out so I was planning on going hiking, to the beach or doing something fun. But I can’t do that. 
So I started off making a plan around what she could do and wanted to do. We went yard sale-ing, but then my grandmother didn’t want to go to an art place after and it just sent me spiraling. 
I can’t do what I want, but even if I could it wouldn’t matter because it’s 96 degrees out and I don’t have any friends. 
I know I probably sound ridiculous, I promise I have a ton of life problems but this is just what’s bothering me today. I’ve never really had any friends. I’ve never had those spectacular birthdays you hear about, as a kid I was lucky if I even got a cake. 
But I’m just very alone, I’ve got people that don’t talk to me, messaging me “happy birthday” and shit. It just reminds me of how alone I am and honestly I feel so sad that I want to die. 
Im sorry for ranting, any advice?