I have always had trouble eating enough calories to maintain my weight, and even when I do eat three solid meals a day, I hardly even manage to reach the average weight range for someone my age and gender. 

This has never been a major issue for me until recently. I have always been able to force myself to eat even if I didn’t feel hungry (which I never used to at all). But life has been hard and completely out of my control this last year. 

I lately feel hungry but I can’t get myself to eat at all. Food doesn’t even taste or feel the same. It’s all bland. Half of the time, when I try to eat something I used to really enjoy, I will literally gag and have to stop eating entirely or I will vomit. I cannot control this reaction—it’s a guttural response and is horridly uncomfortable. When I do manage to eat something substantial, my stomach twists and turns in knots and I regret having eaten at all.

I don’t really know what to do at this point. I went from college and working in a small, tight-nit office with friends to working from home and never being in contact with anyone besides family and a friend here or there. 

Nobody really gets it. I grew up with my mom playfully calling me “bones.” It may have seemed harmless at the time but it’s accurate and it hurts thinking about anymore. I can’t seem to find anyone else with a similar problem, no online support groups or subreddits for this issue. 

I have tried therapy a couple times but I was not able to find a good match for myself. My experiences with it make me apprehensive to try again. 

I don’t really know what I’m looking for with this post. I guess maybe I just want to talk to someone who has been through something similar or may have some advice that’s worthwhile. 

For reference I’m(M/24) 6’1” and 125-135lbs.