I just honestly need to vent but I’m tired of constantly being treated like I’m a ticking time bomb and that I’m not allowed to stand up for myself. My exes friend started spreading really serious rumors about me that have ruined my reputation (TW: SA) but then she “took back the claims” and apologized. My birthday was a few days ago and my ex randomly sent me money but hasn’t reached out whatsoever. I was irate at first but now I’m honestly just confused as to what the money is for and didn’t feel too comfortable accepting it due to the nature of the situation, I’m also confused because we talked about 3 weeks ago and everything was fine. The problem is I don’t have his number and our mutual friend won’t give me it because I may “get upset in the future and I shouldn’t have access to the number” and that “if he wanted to talk he would’ve” but with these types of accusations I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to want to know the full story and why this even happened, I even offered to delete the number after calling and they still wouldn’t budge. My therapist also told me it was “low vibrational” to even speak about my perspective of the situation and I’m getting tired of having to shove my feelings down at the convenience of others when I’m the one that’s suffering. I can’t even speak my truth without somehow being in the wrong especially when the accusations were debunked as FALSE. What the fuck do I even do here? Act like nothing happened?