Don’t worry I’m not gonna fucking kill myself. It actually pisses me the fuck off that I can’t. I could never do that to my family and friends but if I had none I’d blow my shit out in a second. Putting that  gat to my head gives me a sense of fucking peace. 

I hate the way I walk talk and vibe. The world is a beautiful place I can see that, but I’m just another piece of trash fucking it up. I hate the way I smile. I hate my fucked up teeth, my fucked up face, and my fucked up body. I hate the way I talk to people. I hate that everyday is just another day to survive. I hate that this is supposedly a gift when i say this is fucking hell. We work all week to pay bill and live for the weekend just to get drunk so we can feel something. Or not feel something. I hate that my emotions are apparently at the whim of the wing. Thanks god. Great gift. Great gift. And yes I understand I sound like an absolute pussy. And yes my mindset is that of an absolute pussy. Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel good again just to stay in bed the next two weeks again. I’m sorry if I brought anybody down. There’s just nobody I can say this shit to. Nobody. I have nobody to fucking talk to and nobody fucking understands if I hint at it. If I say something it’s just another reason for people to judge my every move. I wish y’all the best and have a good day. I wish you love and happiness.