Just looking for some advice or perhaps a similar story.

Im an adult now in my early 30s but struggling now more than I ever have in my life.

I grew up with a psychopath/narcissistic father, and an alcoholic/addict mother. I was constantly used as a pawn and tool against the other everytime they fought. They got a divorce in my teens and I got dragged right up through, used as a tool. Both have terrible work ethic, one got fired for stealing, the other doesnt want to work at all.

Anyways, I was diagnosed with depression, ptsd, borderline personality disorder and anxiety at the age of 19. 

Fast forward, I started to do really well for myself in my mid 20s. Started to feel really happy and free. Good job, felt healthy, had my own house. During the hard times I got knocked down so much: cheated on twice, I quit university because I lacked interest. My latest down is my fiance cheated on me, then I lost my job a week later, ended up losing my home and had to move in with a toxic relative.

Now Im really, really struggling. The gym has always been my saving grace for my mental health, but I injured myself there going to hard(dealing with my latest down) and have been in chronic pain for 8 months now, with no doctors being helpful and no one can tell me why I have disabling pain.

Without my outlet and feeling this pain, stacked with my mental health already being terrible, I'm starting to feel like a caged animal with the world crashing down on me. Ive turned very hostile and aggressive, which is completely out of my character. Ive started to turn to alcohol and weed to numb myself. Ive never struggled with addiction before but Im starting to develop it now. All I do now is get drunk and/or high to make myself pass out because I cant face reality anymore.

Normally Id pull myself back up but with this physical damage done to myself now via exercise, I feel hopeless and lost. I have no motivation left in me anymore from being continuously beaten down.