I feel like I'm losing everything that I might have had. I'm pushing away friends and family. Started drinking and getting high before work and now I'm in a place where I'm fearing that I'll lose my job (yes I know that's my fault) and I'm so embarrassed about missing so much work (I also get awful migraines) that I don't even want to talk to people on Monday. I thought BPD was supposed to get better as you got older. I was diagnosed three years ago and I've only gotten worse. I don't know what to do and I'm scared. I want a happy life. I want to find someone. I want to be able to work a regular job and support myself. I want to go out with my friends. I don't want to have to look at every action and wonder “is it happening again? Should I tell someone? What am I going to fuck up this time?” Does this get better? Do I have the strength to change? Someone please reach out and just tell me I’m okay. That I'm safe and loved and that maybe...just maybe I can do this