It’s my birthday and I’m miserable. I don’t drink, so my friends don’t really see the need to “go out” with me. My parents invited me over, but I honestly don’t enjoy spending time with them. My dad used to be extremely emotionally abusive, and has since gone to jail, rehab, a therapist, and has genuinely changed for the better, but part of me still can’t see past who he used to be. And to make it all worse, I’m pretty sure he bought me a pretty extravagant gift which has always been his way of being like “ya I’m awful, but look at what I just bought you”. Honestly the only fucking thing I want in my life right now, is to move across the United States. And I absolutely would and have the means to do it, but I live with my girlfriend at her parents house, and I can’t just get up and leave. Idk, I wanna fucking die lol. I have all these things to be grateful for, and I try so fucking hard to be grateful for them. But I seriously just wish people would forget about me and I could go start over somewhere else