so my bf made a comment abt another girl being attractive and left abruptly bcuz his neighbors were throwing a party and he randomly decided 2 crash it. I figured he would stay the entire night and he left. and i super freaked out. this was the first time i’ve had any sort of intense episode about him. like i threw any sort of thinking or rational out the window and i was immediately like okay well i hafta scrap this- its over, its ruined. i wont txt him- like immediate just PANICCC mode. he then called me like 6 minutes later and i at that point was like at 100 and i was taking a sharp object adjacent 2 my flesh just bawling my eyes out (def ptsd from my ex- like omg. FUCK THAT GUY BCUZ LIKE WORST BF EVER AND I DIDNT KNOW) and he said like 3 words 2 me and i was like.. are u serious rn? and he hung up. and omg. i at that point was completely lost in my mind like okay well its done. like he hates me. BUT and im proud of this. i called him back in tears asking and he was. god bless this man😭😭 bcuz he was like i thought u hung up that was 100% an accident. like we talked and he was honestly so apologetic. ive never heard him apologize before LOL- hes sweet :) and he told me he never wants 2 make me cry and stuff and he would never intentionally hurt my feelings. AND. he asked me what triggered it and 2 explain 2 him so it wont happen again and that he was never going 2 actually stay at the party😭😭 anyways i need 2 put all of this out in text bcuz my brain is freaking out with that ohhh its ruined like one fight and its over (ty ex. keep one eye open mf) but thats not true at all and not everyone is an evil gross asshole and i choose 2 believe that most ppl care. none of this is compressible. ughh like not one thought passed through my head. it was immediately like its over. tainted forever. sometimes ppl actually care so shoutout💗💗💗 and ty for being forgiving. I love juicy couture tracksuits rn and im abt 2 lie on my job application for sally’s beauty abt my age shhhh LIKE I FEEL ALMOSY PERFECT NORMAL- just that ughhh feeling like… oh its messed up but i just gotta accept its not