I can feel the veil falling and I don't know why. I'm watching my mind crawling away from the light. I'm feeling all these things that make me sad and so afraid but I can't tell you what they are cause they're not solid and they fade. 

What scares me most is how abrupt I go from fine to fucking not. I pull inside and shut the lights and push away those that could help. I want to listen to the voices listing faults and flaws and failures. At least if I'm in pain I'm not just numb because that's dangerous. 

I'll be fine. It's my mantra. There are no other options. It's just so hard to believe when looking up from the bottom. I feel lazy, I feel sick. Like the butt of every joke. Like everyone else sees me as just weak and not worth hope.