Im so exhausted with my whole life. I said something I can't un say and now I just want to dissappear. I hate my life so much. I don't know what to do. I'm so tired I haven't felt any other way in so long. I'm so sad and I just can't give up.on this hope I can get better, even though that seems less and less likely. I don't know what I'm twisting and getting wrong in my head and what's the truth. I feel like one of the people who I always believed loved me never did, like I was never really his son. And I always knew that but my real dad died and now I'm really angry because he said he was my dad too but he's shown himself not to be. I hate him so much right now. I don't have anyone to talk to and I'm so.lonely and isolated and I'm spinning in my head. I don't know what to do but scream into the internet and lay here crying, confused. Am I being paranoid am I just having a hard time because of the quarantine. What the fuck are the people around me really so shitty. And this is just one more falling plank in the crumbling house on my sanity. I wanna quit