Did you know 

The suicide hotline

Will hang up

After ~twenty minutes?

I definitely didn’t know 

I called at my lowest

And I was told that

I hit the limit


So much for having

Enough gusto to call

Right when I felt

I would end it all


I never planned to call

I thought it would waste time

But it was way worse

I learned that these feelings of mine


Were mine, and mine alone

Never to share

Kept tucked to myself

Hurt and scared


Maybe I wasn’t “urgent” enough

Just not the right fit

Not the kid who was on top of a building 

Right then, right there, 

Ready to end it.


But I’m sure if they knew

All that time ago

That a few years before

I was that low


Maybe they would have stayed with me

Not hung up the phone

Listened as I gave them every detail

Of my plan, when I would be alone


But no, this didn’t happen once

It happened 4 times in a row

After all there’s only one hotline

If the international suicide hotline is where you call

But that’s ok

I’ve come to terms

I’m a zombie walking

Though my stomach still turns.


I rose from the dead

All by myself

And I’ll return that way 

Without a miserable suicide hotline volunteer’s help.

(Poem by me, based on a true story)