okay so i am on meds that make me better- not all good but better. 

recently i stopped taking them because i was feeling down and then i started to feel worse because i wasn’t taking them and it just became this bad cycle. 

my boyfriend said to me that if i want to end up killing myself then it’s up to me which just felt like the meanest comment ever. 

i have attempted basically in front of him before and i understand it was difficult for him and i think he was trying to encourage me bit just… what in the hell