My anxiety and panic disorder is so severe right now  everything is starting to trigger my attacks.  I have PTSD and severe panic disorder at a psychotic level. 

I walked into a workshop two days ago  not knowing there would be fumes from spray paint. Once I walked in and noticed I immediately developed severe symptoms of my dreaded terror attacks.  It took a few hrs to convince myself I wasn't dying and for my painful symptoms to subside. I felt like I couldn't breathe and felt detachment and could not calm down.  

I can't tolerate certain smells and now since then my anxiety has been so bad everything has been triggering me. My adrenaline is up. I feel out of it. I've been crying hysterically convinced I'm going to die. My symptoms are still here and I'm planning on checking into a mental hospital.  But I'm SCARED. 

My MAJOR breakdown started two years ago and I haven't been able to tolerate certain things but I've been living with it. I've been terrified to start anti depressants.  I've been seeing a psychiatrist and psychotherapist.  I take ativan to calm myself when I have an attack but after I take it now its been triggering an attack. I've been scared to eat certain things , I'm scared to fall asleep, I lost my appetite, I feel so out of it and my whole body hurts and I'm just living in fear and dread. I'm going to have to be put under for any treatment.  While awake I can't tolerate hardly anything without having severe painful  physical symptoms.  

I'm praying this isn't the end of me and that I can get help somehow. My paranoia and fear is out of control and my life is almost ruined. Please tell me I'm. Not dying. I feel like its more than what I've been diagnosed with. I don't know.