I have had a trouble with relationships like any sort of relationships. And a lot of it comes from having very negative body image. Like I hate my body. And even I have experimented with guys and had casual hookups to seek validation somehow it doesn't seem enough I still feel that I'm ugly because I'm a certain size like I was bullied for since I was a child. 
I refrain from building romantic relationships now but I use dating apps still for something casual and all that. I matched with a guy 4 days ago and even though I don't want a relationship this guy ticks most of the boxes I'd like to have in my partner. Something that I have been searching for. He asked me out and tomorrow I'm gonna meet him for the first time and I'm scared that what if he doesn't like what he sees because even though it's just been 4 days I have become kinda attached to him I don't even I let myself do this but yes. And that's why I'm scared what If he doesn't like what he sees and thinks I'm ugly and then ghosts me. 
We've had great talks these past 4 days it's been amazing we've connected and he says he's excited to meet me but the fear is still there, so much that it makes me wanna not go or almost sabotage the date by not dressing up appropriately or saying something wrong or being a bitch.