I just can’t figure out a way to heal from depression. I am 25 yr old female and you might think it’s mid age crisis but I have been struggling since I was 18. Most of my life I just been trying to figure life out by myself and support my self. I came to the US when I was 18 by myself and I have been through some real shit(as you can imagine) trying to survive in Cali. I was resilient enough to finish school, got my degree in engineering and got a good job however I never felt happy in my life. The slightest bit of hardship seems to cram lemme back in to unending misery I faced since my teenage years. I am quite an extrovert, good speaker, funny(according to many people) but I can not find a reason to live honestly. I am never happy, always sobbing every single day. I feel like I don’t have many supporters in my life. I have figured the trend that most people in my life are useless. There is not a single person that I would long to speak to call or text. I can literally be alone for years and years. I don’t like it but friends usually are too negative for my liking(gossip,competition and passive aggressive energy) and family never understands me. I have my younger sister who is utterly useless and she thinks I am her mom. She is massively irresponsible, and adds to my list of problems. I don’t know how to solve this issue guys. I just need help I have 0 motivation to do anything. I have 9-5 job my rent is crazy night so all salary goes in to rent and utility. I try to save but not as much as I would like to since my sister is no help. So all I do is work my 9-5, drive Uber on the weekends for extra income but I would prefer to not exist honestly. Help me with ideas if y’all can.