Tw suicide 
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My anxiety makes me suicidal. I have felt nervous and uncomfortable since I was ten. I’m 23 now and have been through so many medicines, therapies, inpatient, outpatient, meditation, breathing, diet, and exercise methods. I literally never feel okay. I always feel overstimulated, uneasy, fearful, and obsessive with my thoughts. All I think about is how valueless I find life to be, how uncomfortable I am, and how no matter what I do, I never feel okay. Even with my parents or my girlfriend, I am always gritting my teeth and trying to push through. I’m never *not* thinking about something negative, and I have to force myself to act like I’m not. I was at the lake yesterday trying to relax and enjoy my time with friends, but all I could think about was money, getting a different job, and how uncomfortable I feel. This makes me suicidal. I feel like I am never going to feel okay. I’m so tired of pretending I’m not internally panicking. My life feels out of body and out of control. I can’t stop obsessing over my failures and discomfort. I don’t know why I keep trying. I wish I would die in my sleep.