I am 14 (F), and for about 3 years I have been in a continuous state of depression. 
I recently just moved across the world, meaning I had to stop therapy and medication. I haven’t had therapy in months now, and even then, it wasn’t working. I cant reach out for help because all my mother does is mock me and egg me on every-time I talk about my suicidal thoughts. I feel so empty and hopeless, and I feel like a failure. I feel dead. I can’t feel anything anymore and I can’t cry. When I do cry, it’s always with no emotion. It just comes and goes. I do the same routine every day and if I break out of it, I get irritated and miserable. I’m starting to get upset for the littlest things, and there’s these constant waves of emptiness. I can’t feel love for my own family members, it’s like I don’t even care what happens to them. I can’t imagine anyone ever loving me either. I just want to be meaningful. I need at least someone to tell me to do anything for a purpose. I don’t want to die, and I don’t want to be alive.