I've been struggling more than 1.5 years with depression. Yes I do take psychiatric help. My parents and people in my surroundings can't seem to make time for me. I always feel side casted. Yes I must indulge in things that I love, and pursue them, but I do not have the freedom to do that. My father does not like me getting into new things, me reading books or listening to kpop. I don't have space for myself at all. I wanted to go travel and clear up my mind, but every time some trouble just pops up. I am 18 years old. I am not even allowed to be on social media. My friend circle consists of only 2 people. I am tired of expressing myself, the goddamn situation does not change. People do not understand, nor I get to have my space. I am sick and tired of struggling crying to sleep feeling lonely. 

I like writing, but I am suffering from writer's block. I was not or I am not allowed to feed my brain with new things.... How  I am I supposed to be happy. I know its okay to be not okay but its been more than 1.5 years.

My struggles are neither valued nor appreciated, they pay deaf ear to my desires. I have not grown at all, I have just aged. 

Please give me some help. I want to write, but its pointless explaining stuff to people, so why should I? All these ugly thoughts come into my head.......... I am naturally prone to depression, I'm also diagnosed with PCOS. 😖