Or maybe it's not death i want, but just relief, which seems impossible. I'm so overwhelmed. Cut contact with my dad three months ago, and it's for the best, but it still hurts. Quit my studies yesterday. Moving abroad for work next week. My mom is dying from alcoholism and all people can do is judge her. I'm so tired. Call me lazy or ungrateful, but i don't dream about working. I really hate the idea of it, actually. I wish i could just sit at home and read all day. God i hate this world.