i'm tired and it's painful. i just want a way out. i can't kms because i'm too scared and i can't enjoy life like a normal functional human being because i don't enjoy anything. everyone around me is so happy, it makes me feel alone. they're all starting their year with hope yet i'm here in this dark place i can't leave. i want to tell them about my thoughts but no one wants a depressed and suicidal friend especially in the new year. i don't know what to do at this point