Long story short, I went to get gas before work this morning and my card declined. Which was extremely unexpected considering I knew I had at least 300+ in my account the night prior because I was buying cat litter/food. I check my account this morning and I'm at NSF with a $-12. All of my large bills decided to hit last night while I was sleeping thanks to ACH. 

I immediately broke down into ugly crying. I can't shake the feeling that this is going to be my whole life. I work 40 hours a week at 16/hour, and at least 3 times a year experience such a blow that takes MONTHS to recover from. I don't have nice things. I don't have anything to show for how much money I don't have despite working 40 hours a week. I had to pick up a second job on the weekends, which is fine, but I don't see the money for another week and it'll be for one training shift. 

I physically can't stop myself from crying at work right now. I look like a mess, I sound like a mess when I answer the phone, I don't make eye contact or haven't said good morning to anyone. 

I feel so embarrassed, ashamed and this feeling has been stuck with me for a few weeks now. My life quite literally is a trainwreck. It's one major thing after the other. I get that's life for everyone. I just don't know how to navigate this anxiety of knowing I'm always going to be caught in this cycle. 

\*\*Every little thing is triggering a nasty cry session. How the hell do I stop this?\*\*