I’ve been seeing the same psychiatrist, and doing talk therapy with him regularly for over 20 years (since my early 20s). All this time, it’s been blatantly obvious that I have BPD, but I didn’t know until a few months ago. He once fired me bc I raged at him - I had to grovel to get him back and I never let that happen again, but I’ve always told him when it happens with other people. He’s done couples sessions with me and my partner, who asked him about BPD 15 years ago. I’ve asked several times if he thinks I have it, and he’s always said I have “traits, but everyone does.” I was happy to hear I didn’t have it, so I didn’t push it. I shouldn’t have had to, though. I just got diagnosed by a therapist after it finally became obvious to me that I do have it. If he’d told me about this 20 years ago, I could’ve been getting help all this time, instead of just turning into a hopeless recluse. I have never been able to keep a job. I’ve never been able to have a decent relationship. I’ve always been suicidal and self-harming, I’ve been hospitalized, I’ve been refused ECT in the hospital  because it “wouldn’t work due to your personality disorder.” I think he even talked to the doctor who wouldn’t give me ECT. I’ve seen other therapists, with whom he has consulted. Anyway, I just don’t see how he could have not known. I feel so betrayed I don’t want to ever see him again, even though he’s been the only constant in my life and I’ve always thought I’d be lost without him. 

Shouldn’t he have told me? Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks, y’all.