I never intended to tell my mom I’m depressed, it’s not something I wanted her to worry over. She works long hours till her bones ache and she already deals with a lot of stuff. She often told me that I’m the only child she never had to worry about and that I’m her solace so I never wanted to give her reason to worry about me. 
She found out bc she found my vape that I often use to de stress. She’s very adamant about not smoking so I panicked and the truth just spilled. 
She was really calm and told me that she’d be here for me and that we’d find a psychiatrist together and get better but I’m scared she’s going to view me differently. 
I’ve hid the depression for 4 years now and it being out in the open without me being ready isn’t making me feel good. On one hand I’m looking forwards to therapy but on the other I’m scared of the sudden change and that my mom won’t confide in me anymore. 
I’m really the only one she can talk to about her problems and I don’t want her to hold back on me, nor do I want to add on to her stress. 
I really don’t know how to feel right now.