I've been going to therapy and trying to get better. I'm working on family abandonment/neglect issues I never really acknowledged until recently on top of long list of trauma and abuse.. I'm trying really hard to move forward and get my life together but I've been stuck in a dissociative state where small things set me off into an episode where everything floods in, nothing feels real, I relive traumatic events, and everything hurts and is overwhelming. 

I used to hate self help books but they've made me feel like I'm doing something right by trying to work on myself. I don't know if I'm trying to fix decades of trauma too fast but I can't look back on another wasted year or have myself slip back into the dangerous habits.
Any suggestions are appreciated, even if you have a book that's not addressing what I mentioned.