I broke up with my boyfriend and I can see now that I was actually in an emotionally abusive relationship. I had horrible mood swings, insomnia, I was really depressed and was even on antidepressants for some time and nothing seemed to help. I always felt bad and blamed for all our problems because of my bpd, i kept on splitting loving and hating my bf, wanted to kms all the time but now that we are broken up I feel so much better, almost as if I didn’t have bpd at all? 
I don’t know if this is just “a phase” or maybe my bpd was actually caused by my ex but I still wonder if it’s me, if I was “crazy” and I will realize it later like he says, or if this will happen with someone else too