TW: death talk 

I turn 25 in exactly a week from tomorrow and I woke up this morning in an absolute panic because I have this insane gut feeling this will be my last birthday. I’m convinced I’m going to die this year and the fear is crippling me. I have no idea why this thought has popped into my head and I’m trying so hard to force it out but I can’t eat or drink, I don’t want to celebrate it in any way, I’m just sick to my stomach. I called so many therapists in my area that accepts my insurance but everyone seems to be booked out until the fall or not accepting new patients and I’m becoming unraveled. What can I do? How do I fight these feelings? I’m scared to even leave the house after my birthday because I think I’m going to die every time I step outside. Has anyone dealt with feelings like this?