Drinking again to cope. I never really stopped and really I'm probably an alcoholic in terms of the definition. I go out of my way to obtain alcohol and drink probably 4/7 days a week.

Why do I do this? Because I actually feel happy and alive. Everything feels so much better. Music sounds amazing. Food actually tastes good again. I'm broken and I know it, probably addicted at this point but it helps.

Anyone else drink to feel alive and drown out the normal sober life? I really don't want to be here anymore, but the tequila really helps even if its slowly killing me. Guess that's what I'm hoping for...