So I was having an extra hard day yesterday. I was feeling super weird the whole day, and being extremely disconnected from my brain. It started do get worse nearing night-time. I was browsing TV channels and watched a few minutes of some horror-movie where a guy puts on a clown costume and then is unable to get it off and it grows to be a part of his body because of a curse or some dumb shit like that. And I genuinely started freaking out because I thought that could happen to me.  

And this was not a usual "Ooh scary movie, I've got the spooks." kinda thing. And I usually love scary movies,  the more fucked up the better. And they don't really affect me that much. But yesterday I LITERALLY was 100% sure that this is something that can happen to me. That if I put on some costume, it will grow onto my skin and I will turn into a monster. 

Then I ended up having a scream-crying episode and after a couple hours I felt okay again. But that shit really scared me. I have never had something like that happen to me before, where I was completely losing touch with reality.

I've been diagnosed with BPD, but I have no idea if that correlates at all. Does anybody have any idea about what that could've been about?