I have felt this way for years. No change. I have gotten worse. I’m on medication and I’ve been going to therapy for 2 years, I have so many around me , I’m doing better in school. I should be happy. But I’m not. Every day is riddled with anxiety and emptiness and suicidal thoughts. I don’t want to die but I want to stop living this life. I should feel like I’m being selfish and feel awful for how me dieing would affect others but I feel like depression at points should be veiwed as Terminal in my case and I wouldn’t be mad. You wouldn’t blame someone with a illness for dieing so why blame someone with a mental illness it’s not selfish to feel this way. I care so much about everyone around me that I don’t want to be a burden anymore. I will never be happy so why do I try anymore. I find solutions but once I get to the other side like going to the gym for 2 years straight or changing my life style I realise I was not happy at all even then.