2:59 am and I’m not sleeping.
Failure. 
I want to feel something.
I want to be angry.
But I can’t manage even that,
I’m lazy,
A failure,
Stuck in this rut,
I can’t get back up,
And no one is forcing me too.

FAILURE.

FAILURE.

FAILURE.
       
        repeats in my head.

You can’t do anything right,
You’re lazy,
And fat,
And stupid,
And unmotivated,
Look at her,
And at him.
My word, he is spectacular.
He is extraordinarily.
He had lived one thousand lives.
Look around,
People are living their lives,
And here you are,
Watching life roll on by.
Useless piece of trash.
Fat.
Gross.
Stupid.
Idiot.
Listen to yourself.
You’re an idiot.
Think before you speak.
Everything you say is stupid.

[Stop listening to that voice!!!!
STOP GIVING IN!!! 
Stop giving up on me. 
You aren’t stupid or useless. 
You’re ineffable
And I can’t describe you, for you are an walking paradox of lovely and strange].