I've noticed that whenever I make a mistake that's angered or upset someone, I have this painful sense of dread and I start to, I guess, 'dissociate'?
I usually respond with a timid 'ok, sorry abt that' and my self esteem plumets for a few hours or even days, depending on the situation, and I get anxious about whether the person hates me until the next time we talk and everything is fine again?