Good morning all. This is a post about invalidation - so CW on invalidation

&amp;#x200B;

I'm a 42 year old mom, who has been working tirelessly over the past 10 years to put my BPD behind me. I have been in therapy, consistently since I was a teen. I spent the better part of 2018-2020 in DBT groups. 

My BPD developed because of my childhood. However, I do think there is a family link too - my mother, and my maternal grandmother certainly fit the mold. I was born to young parents. My sister was born when I was 3. She was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 2 - and our life was flipped upside down. I was passed off to friends and family for the better part of two years, as my father worked 80 hours a week to keep us fed, clothed, and in a home. My mother spent her time in the city, with my sister, receiving her treatment. \*All of the people I stayed with were wonderful family and friends. I don't want to demonize anyone here. I think just not having parents around from 5-7 messed me up.\* She was cured within two years, but has suffers from severe learned helplessness that mom has turned into "developmentally disabled" for pity. 

I stayed quiet, introverted and became a successful wallflower. I buried myself in books, still do to this day. I developed the typical addiction issues around 19, and went to multiple rehabs by the age of 21. Sobriety stuck at 22, and I will have 20 years this month. There was other stuff related to the BPD diagnosis, but I won't get into that. 

I have developed many complicated autoimmune conditions over the past 10 years. I ended up having a spinal fusion with instrumentation 5 years ago that's left me with chronic foot drop and nerve damage from my spine, to my foot. I take 22 pills a day to function "normally." I \*still\* get up and actively parent my son - because I don't want him to ever feel like I have. He is the center of my universe. His father had a really awful childhood too (foster homes, DSS, etc.) so we are both really trying as hard as we can to make his life as great as possible. 

Currently, I am awaiting biopsy results and very nervous. The doctor told me that there is something wrong, in addition to the IBD I have. My mother, had the audacity to look at me and say: "What are you going to do when they come back and say nothing is wrong with you?" I had the op report in my hand - which specifically stated inflammation was found throughout, and biopsies were taken. Polyps were found and sent for analysis. I know I have health anxiety - but WTH ... seriously?? The level of invalidation seems to send me right over the top. My husband's response: "Cut the cord." feels just as invalidating. I'm so very sorry to unload here. 

TLDR: BPD for 20 years, have done decades of work. STILL triggered by invalidation from mom. she bends over backwards to validate sister's paper cut, yet while I'm awaiting biopsy results, I'm told I'm overreacting and nothing is wrong. Story of my life. Does the triggering nature of invalidation ever become easier to deal with? Do you have any suggestions on how to handle this feeling I'm sitting with?