A good friend of mine has BPD and we are going through some issues. A lot of those things, I feel, are relatively minor and can be solved by either keeping them on the backburner till we can agree or just remove them all together from our shared experience. But that was unacceptable to them.

We used to do some activities together, suddenly even a small part of those became wrong for them. I was inquisitive as to Why, and I think that was my biggest mistake. Now when I think back it seems that “Why” is a huge trigger for them. And that if I was not inquisitive, most of these issues would not have happened.

As I have been reading more, and from my personal experience, words like logic and cool head seems to be even more infuriating, unfortunately I didn't know. I wanted to discuss issues first and then see how emotions apply to them, but I am beginning to think that there is a heavy reliance on emotions. So my lack of knowledge and experience about BPD has caused even more problems.

We used to chat frequently, but now there is a kind of a silent treatment till the time of their choice. This is hurtful. I have read that this can also happen in BPD. 

Maybe I am wrong on several things above, but that has been my experience.

I have read that some say that only option is to accept what they say else it will be a disaster. Some others have said that it is best to say what we think is right, but this seems a recipe for disaster as my friend may not be able to handle this, from what I understand of BPD.

They are still very important to me and hence I want to get your views and suggestions on how to address these issues.

Help is appreciated. Thanks!