I get told all the time to out my faith in a system that has mismanaged to the point I now need more support than ever before. 

And even tho it took years to get this supported placement it isn't helping. 

Everyone expects more from me than I can give. Talking doesn't work,.distracting, grounding. I'm not allowed to drive or have therapy or be under a mental health team. They want me to rely on my own support network. But what network?

And the people in my life, not the, helplines, they ghost, they leave, they get sick of me, forget me, abandon me. I don't think they all gather together and plan some master reason to leave. But regardless they do 

I dont think I am ever going to have a stable loving friendship in this world. I wasn't built for it. I am too much for serves, for myself, for anyone. How can I ever trust anyone again.

I know I'm posting a lot, but honestly I feel no one understands the isolation.