I’ve been hearing so many voices at night. I keep hearing my mom screaming and very vivid sounds of her keys. I sometimes feel like someone is touching me at night when I hear things, someone could be grabbing my neck and yanking it but I’d turn around and no one would be there.

I feel so worthless. I feel so ugly, stupid, and unable to get out of depression and loneliness. My boyfriend has been really rude to me, and he just recently lied to me. I am so confused on everything that is happening right now. I kind of want out but I love him, and he is one of the closest people to me. I don’t have many people in my life so he is like family; i’m sure i’ll break down when he’s gone. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting because i’m depressed, or if he actually did something wrong. I have no one to talk to about this. 

suicide thoughts have been coming up again. I attempted suicide a couple times before and they were all horrible experiences and one time I almost ended up half dead. I don’t want to attempt and feel even worse but more death. 

Loneliness is eating me the fuck up. i just really hate it.