I'm so sick of rumors going around about me at school. That I'm this disgusting trashy girl that vapes in the girls bathroom stalls and makes fun of people. Nobody sees you're suffering when your really good at hiding it. Nothing makes me happy anymore. Not drawing. Not video games. Not going outside for walks. Nothing. I've got no friends becuase of the things that have been told about me. Every single friend I've made has pushed me away, or I had to move to a different town. Every night I stay up till 11pm to 1am. I get barely any sleep. But my body has gotten used to it overtime. I'm sick of people telling me I looked tired like I already don't know that.
I'm sick of having serious family problems. I'm sick and tired of missing my mom, because she hasn't made an effort to visit me or anything in around 7 years. She probably didn't even remember my birthday last Sunday. I'm sick of feeling like people actually like me becuase nobody except for this one girl who's in two of my classes told me happy birthday. I appreciate her saying it though. I'm sick of waking up every morning. I'm sick of forgetting to take my stupid fucking birth control and messing up my cycle all becuase I forget shit. I'm sick of going to school and sleeping in classes. Then the teacher ask me if I'm okay. And if I want to go to the nurse. All I was doing was sleeping I'm fine. I'm sick of people objectifying me. I'm sick of creeps who are in their literal 20s asking a girl who just 13 if they need a ride with a smirk on their face. Makes me sick to my stomach. I hope they thought I was older than 13 though becuase if they could tell, that's even worse. I'm sick of getting catcalled cause of the way I look. I'm sick of being so insecure about my body becuase people are always commenting on it, I feel like I need to be perfect.
I'm sick of not being productive. I'm sick of waking up at random times at night, and then remembering I didn't take off my mascara or brush my teeth. 

I'm sick of everything. I just want to wake up to a point in my life were I've got my shit together. Where I'm happy. Where I have friends to trust.