Ive accepted that i will never be loved. That i will be unlovable. Being that person in a group that it overlooked and under praised started off as insufferable, frustrating and irritating. But now i’ve grown used to it. I forced my self to have s*x before i was mentally ready because i knew that would be the only time i would feel accepted and liked, even though afterwards it was bare minimum. Everyone says i’m annoying for talking down on myself and saying things negative, but i see it as the truth. They get annoyed with me as i just don’t care and keep falling. Had a chance for someone to love me bug after a week he literally disgusted me and i dropped him, my first and last relationship that lasted one week. That’s when i knew im destined to be lonely to the point i had to find someone who gave me the slightest bit of intention and go all the way because i knew this was all i can het then blocked him afterwards cause everything felt ick. but like i said, i’ve accepted.