It took 30 years for me to get diagnosed. 3 for me to find good meds and a good therapist. I used to think about suicide a lot. I was exhausted with being alive. But here I am, mentally healthier and happier than I ever have been in my life. If I can get there, you can too. Don't give up. Stay strong. If you need someone to talk to, DM me. I don't give unsolicited advice; I just listen and empathize. Much love to you all.