This is just for context: I am a woman that works (and mostly has worked) in very male dominating careers. I have experienced plenty of missed opportunities due to discrimination, which is why I have such high anxiety over my performance at any job. 

In December of last year I started another job in yet another male dominated environment. I am the highest trained woman on the floor currently, because I overachieved my way to the top. 

But now I can't seem to stop. 
I have constant and almost crippling anxiety every evening when I leave work. I constantly go over the ENTIRE work day with a fine toothed comb, and I obsess over every tiny mistake I made (even if they were nonexistent) 

I beat myself up for taking my scheduled breaks because I could have skipped them and gotten more work done. 
Worse yet, I often skip my breaks as punishment for not "earning" my break enough - this happens most when I am completely overwhelmed with tasks and am angry at myself for not completing them faster. 

I am constantly second guessing my work, even though I have done it hundreds of times without error, and I stay up late at night wondering how I screwed up and how I would be disciplined in the morning. 

I constantly feel like a criminal that's hiding in a shed and the police are knocking on the door. My heart races and sinks in my chest and my mind runs in all directions, constantly reminding me that I could be a single mistake away from losing my job. (or having to leave). Again. 

I can't escape it. No matter what I do at work, what department I fill in for, even if I'm just cleaning and reorganizing the warehouse, I always feel like I MUST have made a critical error that I am surely to be fired for. 

And even small errors that I do own up to and correct will continuously haunt me. I am in constant fear that a tiny mistake I made three months ago, that was corrected, may have been corrected wrong, and therefore it's even worse because it is a double failure.
(Even though I logically know it is 100% accurate) 

I am constantly given praise from my coworkers and my managers for my work, and I have a great relationship with everyone.  (although not too personal) 

I can calm the anxiety by distracting myself. But I'm sick of always having to be distracted. 

I always have this dark foreboding feeling following me everywhere I go. Even on the weekends. 


I've never had this level of anxiety about a job before. Not like this. But I guess I've also never saw a job as this much of an actual career opportunity. 

I'm just at a loss right now. This isn't something I've been able to prepare for. It's too new for me to handle.