Every single relationship and friendship my entire life has been toxic. I have 2 kids with my main abuser and I think the only way out is to kill myself. He’s constantly wanting to feel dominant and he knows he can never win a argument so it always results in him putting his hands on me, telling me to kill myself, calling me the worst names and choking me as hard as he can. Some days I just wish he would kill me and get it over with, go to jail and give my kids a real shot at having a good family.