Sometimes a sadness takes over. I try to just endure it. I feel even more astray and helpless when I think about all the suffering and violence happening every second. And I am well off, I have food and drink, house and parents. Then I feel guilty. And the urge to do more meaningful things than just study at university. I also feel the urge to ask them out because nothing seems to 'matter' (of course all matters, but what is the utter dissregarde of social norms and completely unconventional approach compared  to starving to death in a deserted slum having an infectious disease and no family) but then again I am afraid of it. And I see all these people having fun and friends. It is the 'world' I live in. But there are so many other realities, much more dire and grim. And I wish that all is at peace.