Around five years ago I ended up going inpatient with mixed depressive and anxiety disorder. After getting released and a lot of therapy, I was doing really well for the last 4.5 years, but was still medicated. I was slowly weaned off the meds since end of last year til April. 

I got a dog, a flat, a pretty good job and  a boyfriend in those last 4.5 years. A lot of things were going my way. However, the job started to get really stressfull for me over the past few months and after a really heavy period at the end of last month, I started to feel the effects outside of work. I lost all my motivation, I no longer enjoy doing the stuff I loved doing, I lost my appetite and I only want to sleep. I can't bring myself to look forward to the holidays we have planned. I quit the job, though still have to stay there for quite a few weeks due to the laws of my country as the situation there is not expected to get better and if I stayed any longer I would probably end up going inpatient again. Even after quitting, I don't feel relieved.

I think like I need to call my psychiatrist about restarting treatment because I don't want to feel like this. I know I should be happy about all the things I have in life, I just don't know how to bring myself to it. And I can't help but feel like a bit of a failure after doing so well for so long...