TW // Vent post 

I don’t know what I did to deserve this.

All my partners either abused me or cheated on me. That’s not an exaggeration. 

And even afterwards, they never care. They move on, they live good lives, like I never existed in the first place. 

Especially salty about my recent breakup because he promised me so much, and even got me to hurt myself to “take an oath to stay forever”, and he fucking leaves me after abusing me for extra measure. 

Their all fucking moving on after breaking me the most they can.

What the fuck am I to other people.
A stupid fucking toy? 

It’s so hard to keep acting like nothings wrong with my “friends”. 
Because whenever I try and be real with them I get ignored or they get uncomfortable and awkward. 

Their not even friends since they only talk with me if their bored and have nothing else to do.

Why does everyone hate me so much? What did I do wrong? 

Why am I always the one in the wrong for every possible thing? 

My exes are moving on and living good lives as I’m stuck in my abusive household getting my beat ass and hiding from my parents all the time. 

I’ve already attempted and failed because I couldn’t do it deep enough.

My parents response was so bad I’m too scared to try it again when their around. 

But I canr live like this. It’s so painful.
I have nobody to talk to. Nobody to give me support.

Every time I let someone in, they break me and move on. 

What is wrong with me. 

I hate everyone so much. I just want to be fucking loved