i dont feel happy in the slightest. no friends, just a sore loser. my grandpa thinks a 3 is shit n told me i should study more n that im getting lazy. didnt even bother telling my boss abt my grade after. they said im the same as in high school (where i gave up n got 5s or didnt even bother to go) n that i dissappoibted them.
its becoming the same. i'll never pass my trainee exam. i cant even remember what a studied these 3 years. idk why i bother w this job. its not fun. whats the point.
i thought a vacation would help get me up a bit , to have a breather before exams but nAh. all i can think abt is everytging going wrong w the vacation. like uh, catxhing covid before, or messing up the checkin. itll be my fault again. 
i feel like shit. i cant sleep. i dont want to go to school today. not even my cats can cheer me up. everything will go wrong. cant even talk abt any of this. i told my boss abt my vacation worries n he just fkn laughed. yeah this js so pathtic. why did i say anything. couldve kept to myself. who needs friends. who fkn needs anyone. not even my dreams can help me escape. i cant play games for more than 5 mins. why do i have to exist.