for the most part of the day i feel pretty decent but for some reason i can get triggered so easily by my FP. like he doesn’t abuse me, downgrade me, pressure me—he’s really sweet. it’s just that he can say something to me that i think is snarky as fuck and i become furious. this mood swing can last hours sometimes, and during the episode everything and everybody pisses me the fuck off. i remember a couple days ago my FP said something to me like “forget it” when i was having a convo with him about something and i was just trying to correct him on what i thought was right. this sent me into a spiral and i couldn’t even play my ps4 anymore because of how mad i got, and i just handed him my remote and said “i don’t want to play anymore, you can” and left the room and isolated myself outside for 3 hours straight in the burning sun. i was waiting for somebody to come looking for me because that’s the attention i craved, i wanted to feel like someone would reach out to me so i wouldn’t feel like nobody cared.

i get triggered like this almost everyday and i don’t tell anyone about what i’m going through because it’d make me feel weak or i don’t want to make my FP depressed because sometimes he is. it’s just so tiring going through this everyday. can anyone else relate or am i alone with this one?