When my friends or family try to console me or support me, I find myself consoling THEM because I know they can’t handle the REAL BPD stuff. Yeah they see me crying or freaking out and they tell me it’s just a bad day, to be positive etc etc. I know they’re trying their best within their scope of understanding of BPD, but are they? My parents or close friends never make an effort to actually research the disorder and change their behaviours, I am always the one having to fix myself. As if I’m the culprit just for having BPD; but the people I grew up around who essentially created the perfect, toxic environment for BPD to show it’s face are not accountable at all.  

So when I am suffering a hell they will never know or understand, I will praise them, thank them, even apologize to them. They will believe me and go to sleep thinking they’re good people. It is a lonely disorder.