Another person has left me, so that they could “focus on themselves” which I know means I became too burdensome again.

I’m almost 35 and I moved to the woods and live alone like a hermit with almost no friends and awful family. 

Guys I don’t know what to do, the think I want most in life I’m never going to get and I just can’t handle this cycle anymore. 

This particular person, he came in like a hero and is actually the nicest guy I’ve ever dated and met… and I just annihilated the friendship or whatever was left that he wanted after he rejected me. 

I just wish I could feel like a normal person. On anti depressants on stabilizers but like fuck I’ve caused so much trauma in my own life now from just being me that I really just want out I really want to lose any tiny hope that k can be happy because it’s literally delusional at this point 

I’m a fucking wreck and I just want to be held so bad but I have no one