I feel like my emotions dont matter to anyone else. I try so hard to be nice, understanding and control my anger but the only time someone will take me seriously is when I have a full on episode, then after that they just baby me. I bluntly say what I want, and try to say it very politely but it gets pushed under the rug or just turned into a joke.

Its very rare that I ask for attention or affection but the moment I do, its when I'm at my lowest point. I let my stress build up untill it melts over because I know no one wants to hear about it. And It's not like it even happens everyday. At the most, it can happen one a week that I get overwhelmed from my thoughts of self- hatred. 

Also, how does it make since to bully/get upset with someone about seeking advice from other people for your emotions but then when turn to them, they ignore you or just get defensive. 

Stop fucking ignoring me when I ask for help and the relationship will get better. This is why i dont want to have sex with you. Because my emotions are only convenient for when you feel like pretending to listen.