so i met with a new psych 2 weeks ago and in the intake she addressed my issues with depression and anxiety. she prescribed me prozac and i’ve been taking it for 12 days now. i was wondering how soon it was going to take effect. she said 5 days

i’m still feeling very paranoid around others and have that social anxiety. still hearing things i’m not sure if i’m hearing correctly. like thinking ppl are hinting to me/talking about me. but it’s just my thoughts. however, i did start a conversation with a coworker for once so idk maybe it is helping social anxiety. and i do think it is helping with motivation/energy aspects. two days ago i randomly started working out cuz i had 15 min to spare while i was waiting for my hair dye to set in. i felt funny exercising with my hair all sticky but it was nice because i’ve been wanting to start doing that recently. 

i’m usually restless around nighttime. i have insomnia. i wake up from a nightmare 2 hours in if i sleep too early. so i don’t fall asleep until 4-8am, and wake up at 3-4pm. 4-4 is the usual schedule so i sleep usually for total of 12 hours. it’s been like this for almost a year. i’ve tried so hard to fix the sleep schedule, but it’s very hard. when i wake up i don’t feel rested, it is still like really hard for me to even wake myself up. 

today was very interesting though. i got 5 hours of sleep, because i had a doctors appointment. i went to the doctors appointment, late as usual. ride share to the doctors. and afterward i went to the library nearby. and then i walked home because i thought it wasn’t too far and that i could use a walk. i got home, felt very jumpy, like i wanted to run a mile. wanted to go back outside. i did, to get the mail. i ran all the way there and ran back down just for the fun of it. i cooked some roti for dinner cuz my fam made curry. i was singing and dancing as i cooked. hard to focus.. but i made them quite well actually i didn’t even burn a single one!! 

but afterward i just kept pacing back and forth going in all the bed rooms because i couldn’t sit still. and then i went to my room, listened to my favorite artist and danced for about an hour. i was sweaty so i took all my clothes off in the bathroom for a towel bath. i started talking to my negative thoughts, cuz it kept saying i was acting weird/crazy. but i just laughed it off. i had a sudden thought of running naked into the street. but i know i shouldn’t do that. so i was like, no. 

i’m very confused. i was wondering if the meds are working. why does it feel so very extreme. isn’t 12 days also just too soon for anything to even change? especially so drastically. is this just placebo? is this what happiness is supposed to feel like? what if my concern is my bad brain trying to stop me from getting better? and that i am actually just not used to being not depressed. 


i can’t stop shaking my legs. i feel like swaying my body around in a circle. my legs feel so restless. i think maybe i am just hyper cuz i’m tired. does anyone else get that way?

thank you for reading. hope this made some kind of sense. it’s just a direct stream of my thoughts, sorry lol.