Because I feel like I'm a burden. And the one person I want to talk to, the one person I get excited to talk to, I just can't bother her. It's debilitating. She's the only person who regularly chats with me and I can't bring myself to just say "hey" to just get us talking. Because she'll ask me how I'm doing and I can't tell lie to her. I can't tell her I was in a small car crash and I wished they hit me harder. I can't tell her that I still love her and miss her and she made this whole thing bearable. She doesn't cure the depression. She just makes me happy when I talk to her or we hang out.