I tell my mother about my life because she demands to know and to talk to me (I currently live with her but not for much longer-YES!!), but lately I've come to realize that sooner or later she always ends up using my confidence and trust in her as weapons against me. 

She likes to bring up flaws and ill traits in mostly everyone around her, but especially in people closest to me and my dad's family. I don't know why it's so painful but.....there it is.

She's said things to me recently about the man I love, things I told her in confidence she used against me and said things that made my ears bleed. The expletives were so bad and she pretty much told me I was a failure too. After this rant she went around slamming things for a good 15 minutes. Confirming what I've known.

The funny thing is I'm not mad at her. I don't really feel any way towards her at all. I love her so much, but I'm just done. If she wants to be this small minded and react at and to me in such a nasty and negative manner....then the sad part is that now I know that much of my life will have to be lived closed to her. Especially regarding my boyfriend and me moving in and us making a life together. 

The funny part is, while she was yelling at me and ranting her anger, I did not raise my voice to her once, nor did I yell back. I simply turned my back to her and whispered "I love you mom!" the entire time until I could get away.

Idk man. Things like this make me extremely sad. Like any other daughter, I just want my mom to be proud of me and for us to have a good relationship. It's so damaged now I don't know if that's still possible.