My health anxiety is just an absolute nightmare. It stems from my dad’s death when I was younger, so I try to go easy on myself, but it’s ruining my life and therapy only gets me so far.

I can never feel a happy thought without feeling absolutely terrified. For example, I’ll get an overwhelming feeling about how much I love my husband, and then think how terrified am to die or have him die. I will think about how much I love the holidays and Christmas, and then feel so sad that I probably don’t have many holiday seasons left. I will look around my apartment and think how much I love my life and my dog, and then just feel instant terror and sadness that it can’t last forever. It’s also just little day to day things… I’ll finish a Pilates class and like the way I look, and then think what’s the point I’m probably going to die soon anyway. I cannot escape it. 

Can you relate? How can I fix this and feel happiness without a caveat?