This is a very long story, but I am going to try to keep it as short as possible.

My father was never formally diagnosed with anything (as he never thought anything was wrong and therefore never sought treatment), however, I believe he suffered from schizophrenia. In short, he thought he was psychic and claimed to see ghosts, spirits, etc. He also thought he was being abducted by aliens. And he thought "they" -- although never really specified who "they" were -- were out to get him. He had other symptoms as well -- paranoia, auditory hallucinations, etc.

One delusion in particular was that he had a fear of losing/selling his soul; he would talk about it fairly frequently.

Now, something to note, is that growing up I simply assumed all the things he was talking about were real -- as a child I had no reason to question them. It was not until I was in my early 20s that I realized something was amiss with him and that what he said was not a reflection of reality.

Getting to the point, I have OCD. Unfortunately I cannot afford therapy and subsequently have to deal with it myself. Basically, my main "obsession" is the fear of selling my soul -- it has been with me for over 15 years. I've never talked about it to anyone as I don't want to come across as "crazy", but lately it has been bothering me immensely. I get the thoughts near constantly. My father really fixated on this thought and really drilled it into my head that evil entities could take your soul, if you were willing. It's extremely difficult for me to even type that as I'm afraid of attracting negative energy to me.

I guess I just want some reassurance. I use to tell myself that it's just my anxiety, but honestly lately I don't know. I've been getting these thoughts near constantly and my father was convinced these things were real. 

I'd just like someone to tell my how insane this all sounds. Also, I don't know if it's even worth mentioning, but I was kept very isolated growing up (he told people I was homeschooled -- I was not) and never really had the chance to social or get out much until my early 20s. It was basically just him and his ramblings 24/7 for nearly two decades, so what he said had a pretty big effect on me. So yeah, can you please just tell me these thoughts are crazy? Thanks. Sorry for the long post.