So I've had BPD for years &amp; earlier this year I did something horrible to my boyfriend. I cheated on him with his dad &amp; we wound up breaking uo &amp; I was in a emotionally abusive relationship with his dad for months. Well I was finally fed up with it &amp; I left &amp; my boyfriend surprisingly took me in &amp; took me back. We've been rebuiling our relationship &amp; things have been better than ever.  However,  we live in the my middle of nowhere &amp; I have nothing to do here. I don't have a license &amp; no way to do much. My mind was been wandering to other guys &amp; just looking for some excitement or rish or whatever. I haven't acted on my thoughts because I don't want to ruin this &amp; I love my boyfriend very much but I can't stop my mind from craving some excitement in not good ways.  Idk what to do