Early November went on a date with off bumble. Earlier that day I was not in the mood to go on the date and almost canceled. I then picked her up and got rear ended at an intersection on the way to the restaurant. Completely bummed and flustered I thought the date was already ruined. After the accident I didn’t feel myself at all and thought the date was already ruined. We went to dinner and everything went fine, but I still didn’t feel myself, and I dropped her off at her place and hugged good bye. There was nothing wrong with her. On my my way home I texted my roommate “everything went well” “dinner was fine” and then sent “she’s not the one”. It’s not that I didn’t think she was the one. I just didn’t think the date went well on my part and that I wasn’t going to get another chance. It was like I said it to prepare myself for not getting a second date. 

Fast forward 4 months later we’re madly in love, officially dating, and we both believe we’re the ones for each other. Things are moving faster than anything and we click like I’ve never experienced before. Except last night we shared what we texted our friends on the first date. She cried when she heard when I said “she wasn’t the one” from the first date and now I feel like I messed up big time. She was disappointed and says she’s over it but I’m not sure I believe her. I feel like the romantic fantasy has been ruined but she’s know for months that I didn’t feel comfortable, myself, and everything that I felt on our first date. 

Is this something to be concerned about? Do you think this could linger and ruin our relationship? I can’t sleep and am constantly having anxiety this is ruined for her.