I’ll never be loved like that. I can’t even imagine having someone in my life who actually looks forward to seeing me. That must be an incredible feeling. I’ll probably never date and never feel what it’s like to be fulfilled through a relationship with someone. I think that’s all I want a this point. Someone else in my life. Someone who would make waking up everyday worth it. I just want to love someone, and protect them. I want to give them everything and make them feel special. 

I hate being alone but I don’t want anyone to be around me when I’m in such a horrible mental state for this many years. 

Fuck.