Last month my business failed and my suicidal thoughts got worse. I had a huge fight with some of my best friends and even got blocked by one of them.

So my psychologist told me to go to a psychiatrist to get depression meds and the psychiatrist diagnosed me with BPD. 

At first I thought she was wrong, I didn't have any traumas, so even if I had symptoms, I had to be faking it or she must've been wrong.

So I told my father, who, besides my wife, is the only one who is aware of my suicidal tendencies, about the diagnosys.

He is a very understanding person, one of the best professors around, and he researched BPD and told me I was in fact very much described by that.

But not only that, he also said he noticed his mother probably had that.

His entire life he told me his mother had abandoned him and his brother several times and ran away with their sister, and that she was distant and didn't seem to care for them.
However, now he knows she probably had BPD, same as me, and understands her a little better. 

It's said to think about how many people in my family died being called "that evil mother who ran away with her child".

I always thought she was a terrible person, but now I understand very well how she must have felt.

Sorry for oversharing and thanks for reading