I'm writing this post because I just woke up and typing this is currently my only way to calm down as of this moment.

Like my title says it is at its worst the moment I open my eyes. You see people on TV wake up in the morning with sun streaming in their windows, birds chirping outside and everything is peaceful. The opposite happens to me.

You know that time when you're still in between sleep and waking up? What happens to me during that time is I become aware that it's morning and I remember all my "symptoms" that I was worried about the day before. My brain would then start to hyperfixate on all these "symptoms" and make them 10x worse. 

Like today, I'm worried about the c word related to my throat and brain. What do you know? My brain decided to focus on my neck and suddenly I can imagine a lump there. I also woke up today with a bad migraine and I kept thinking oh this is it. I had a panic attack first thing in the morning and I am just in the worst mood.

And now I'll probably go on another day googling how my symptoms are normal and google telling me otherwise. I'm so exhausted.