I have a suspicion I have seasonal depression except it’s in the summer and spring that it happens which is dumb, and recently I’ve been struggling with dark thoughts and feelings that are telling me to just give up since I’m never going to be where I want to be (15)trans and with unsupportive parents so I won’t be able to do anything til I’m 18 and that seems so long away. And I keep “planning” to do something, take pills or something and each time I think “this is it I can’t do this any longer” and I don’t even care if I succeed or not I just want something to change, but recently it’s been bad and I thought, next week, I’ll do it. And my friend goes and books us tickets to the new top gun movie and I just thought to myself “I cant do anything because then they won’t be able to go watch the movie with me which they are really excited to do. So I think that’s gonna be the thing that stops me from doing anything at the moment. I’m really grateful for them but I also know it won’t work forever and I think that sooner or later it’ll catch up with me again.