I'm about to divorce with my husband. I'm 37 years old post-op &gt;!I have bottom, after surgery, which looks like female. But I can't bear!&lt; Male-to-Female transgender woman

I live in the stealth: my friends, employer, etc know nothing about me. I'm immigrant, like my husband - we married outside of Canada. I transitioned in \~17, and since then lived in full-time. It's my third relationship, and we're (were?) 6 years together. When we met, he didn't know. Later I told when we started to feel a chemistry (we're former colleagues).

Each divorce happen because of series of mistakes. Usually from both sites. I want to save our relationships, but not sure if it is possible - we argue every day. The main reason is - he wants to return to the home country, and I'm not, I like Canada. Also, his mom hates me because she wants grandchildren. And as I said, she didn't know.  
I'm trying to save our marriage. But, in the another hand, I want to see him happy. Not sure if it's possible in Canada :( He wanted to live here in the past. Then, he changed his mind....

I bet everything in our relationships. Even chose employers which is better for my husband's career, than my - like I always accepted job offers with a good work/life balance in order to have more time to keep our home in good conditions - you know, prepare food, especially from our home country, and looks like always happy - to help my husband perform better in his work. I accepted a lot of his hobbies and habits (and he mostly not - my hobbies). What I can't do, I can't make happy his mom - you know why, and I don't want to leave Canada, because, honestly, I hate my home country, like I hate my original body. And my husband was same - he also wanted to immigrate in Canada, it was great project, which we performed together. But he changed his mind :(

I really want to see him happy. I keep contact with my previous BF, and always tried to provide him advises, etc (and he always will be in my heart).  
I still feel a strong chemistry with my husband (science tells us that more common to lost it after 3 years or so), also I like his view in the world, I like his hobbies, and our friends among these hobbies.

Honestly, I feel my husband is too good for me: he is 41 y old FAANG engineer - when we met he was just senior programmer in the not famous employer outside of Canada, he can return to Canada if he changes his mind again - If I were 20y old cisgender-girl (I mean, natural) from my home country, I'll join in relationships with him without any doubts.

Regarding how am I looking... Well, want to provide you facts (not my internal estimates, because they can be wrong):

When I was \~24-28, males tried to date with me about every day (in street, public transport, etc). But since \~30 it started to happen only about \~2 times monthly. But last years it happened only \~2 times annually. Because of aging, you know. And probably because of pandemic, and because it's not a Canadian culture - to date with a stranger in the city's streets.

What do you think, I have to do? How do you think, if the divorce is a right option, do I have chances to not die alone? If I have, how do you think, do I have chances to find another love? I like clever, handsome, cheeky tall boys, with ambition and big plans. I think, they're about zero. But anyway, I have to let him go? - because actually, he is trying to save our family, but relocate us back into home country.

I've just lost my roots and way how I see my/our future. For me, it was always very important. When I about dyed from gender dysphoria in my teen age, I lived in the dreams where everything was perfect - I mean, I'm a natural girl, I'm married, I have family and a STABLE future. I cheated myself, that I have something like this.