When I was diagnosed with bpd initially I used it as an excuse for my shitty behaviour. I’m still struggling but after therapy I’ve been a lot better at picking up on it. And let me tell you, I have been the most awful person a lot of times in my life, I still feel guilty for the things I’ve done. I’m posting because I see a lot of similar posts that I used to relate to. For me, the diagnosis came unfortunately after I was arrested. Please seek help if you can, and if you can’t pick up a dbt book to try if it’s available to you. Also find someone in recovery to talk to. I was lucky that me and my best friend happened to have the same shit going on and we always have each other’s back because of it. I love you guys and I feel you, I hope this doesn’t come across as elitist.