I feel like the need for perfection has increased over the years to the point it effects my life in a big way. 

I want perfection, I want my home immaculate.

I look around the house and see the slightest of imperfections, it could be a little chip in the skirting board, the pipes on the radiator are not sparkling and looking new, maybe a small barely visible crack. It can pretty much be any imperfection and it stresses me out. A lot of them can be fixed and covered but then it's still not perfect its covered up. I see these little imperfections and it put me off cleaning because if I can't have perfection what is the point? It stresses me out to the point where I just want to drink and get out of my own head. 

I recently bought a brand new set of kitchen knives and there is the slightest imperfection in the vinyl on the handle and the knife set is essentially useless now, it's ready for the bin. I also bought a brand new set of cutlery and feel like I need to throw them out because they have been used, They will no longer be perfect so is it worth even cleaning them? 

I feel the need for perfection is effecting my life in such a big way and it only seems to get worse. I am diagnosed with anxiety and BPD since 2010. does anyone have this struggle with BPD?

Sorry if I sound like a weirdo lol