A quick edit: thank you everyone for your responses. I'm trying to get my words coherantly enough to answer you all. &lt;3

I'm not sure if I can explain this right, because as the title says I've lost my smart brain... But here goes. 

Do you ever feel like the mental illness, or all the medications they've tried on you have taken away your brain. You know, the bits of you that are smart and you. When I was in highschool, before all the diagnosis and hospital messes, I had a brain. I was smart and able to talk to people. Type and actually get my thoughts out. There was bad days, lots of them,and honestly I should have had intervention then, but I think it's the intervention that took my ability to think coherantly away.

It feels like I'm trapped, the smarter me, inside this dumb body who can't seem to get anything out properly. When I try to talk, I stutter and forget what I was saying. When I try to do simple math problems, i get confused. And I used to be a calculus nerd. It's frustrating because I can see what I used to be and I don't even know why or what took it all away. Im 23 and feel like I'm 13 again. I can't even relate to people. Lost all my friends and can't even make new ones because I can't think or speak. 

Sorry for the rant. Just needed to get it out. I have no one and feel like I lost my ability to ever talk to people again. Have you ever felt this way? Any tips or advice? I just want a small sliver of what I used to be back. 