Sometimes i catch myself just sitting here and thinking of how my life would be if I could control the anger, the breakdowns if I didn’t have this longing emptiness inside of me. Where would I be? I feel this place sometimes is not built for people like me - the support systems the help just doesn’t seem to exist, and no matter how many steps forward this thing inside of me always prevails over every aspect of my life, I hurt my partner, I can’t work, I can’t leave the house right now, I’m wasting away and the only cause of that is me - the fact that I’m so trapped inside my head, it’s so full of different versions of myself arguing and never coming to a conclusion. I guess what I’m trying to say is - I don’t feel here, not even human just something that got lost, kind of like a ghost of a person. How do you cope? How do you ever get somewhere? Will it always be like this?