My fp is also the guy I’ve been into and it’s mutual so we spend a lot of time together. 

I feel so horrible. We were sending sweet messages back and forth, and I said he gets me all to himself right now because my friend hadn’t gotten back to me about whether or not they’d play a game with me tonight. So I streamed a game for him. 

When my friend came on I told him they finally showed up, and he said he needed to lay down. I asked what was wrong and he said he’s been having a depressive spike and that it’s been bad the last few days. I really had no idea because he hadn’t told me at all. 

Instantly I felt horrible like I caused it because I know he was really wanting to watch the game I’ve been playing. So he was able to watch me for a bit before my friend came on to play another game with me. 

I can’t help but feel horrible that he was wanting to spend the quality time with me and I did something wrong. I shouldn’t have went to play with my friend. I should have stayed spending time with him and now he’s laying down and not messaging me a lot and I can feel myself spiralling. Why am I like this I can’t handle if he’s upset at me or hurt. I will hate myself for it 

I’m so scared he’s mad or hurt and won’t tell me and I can’t stop feeling rage and hate towards myself.