A few days at work I had to look after a group of little kids along with my boss (I work at a library that organised dance and art classes for kids). 

I hate looking after kids i don't know/ who aren't related to me. They stress me out, I can't connect with them, and it being at work, it stressed me even more.

I also wasn't feeling well that day, but I did my best to smile and interact with the kids, making sure they were safe, that they didn't feel ignored etc.

Apparently some parents told my boss that I wasn't smiling enough. Today I heard that I should smileeven if I feel bad, because people are important to us, and the impression is very important. 

Both my boss and coworker told me it wasn't admonishment or scolding, that they understand it's my first full time job and I don't know many things, and they want to help me avoid an angry parent in the future - but I still couldn't help it and started to cry. 

I felt so embarrassed, I still do, and now I feel like everything else I do at work I also do wrong, and how on earth am I going to work there for the next year, and how I don't want to pretend. When I calmed down I apologised to them, and openly told them how i feel - and they said that I feel like I can't look after kids, I won't have to. That they understand me crying. That my work is good overall. 

Why then do I feel like I'm a shit worker? That they're angry at me? I wanted to end my therapy already, but I feel like I'm far from being okay.