So I have suicidal ideation almost all of the time. It's just a part of my normal life, hearing my voice in my head whispering "Kill yourself" "Go take all the pills in the bathroom" "Maybe your boyfriend left his gun somewhere nearby" "Walk into traffic". I can usually just tune it out. When I get overwhelmed, I get help. It's actually been pretty quiet for awhile but it moved into my dreams. Now I keep having these dreams every night, sometimes multiple times a night, where at the end of the dream the people in the dream tell me to kill myself. 

So now I wake up every morning and often multiple times at night and the phrase in my head is "Kill yourself" coming from *other" people too, not just me. I know it's just a dream but it's really wearing me down. Does this happen to anyone else? How can I make it stop? My doctor isn't allowed to prescribe Xanax for sleeping anymore. I weaned off of that almost a year ago. Ambien is super addictive. Melatonin does nothing. Meditation is not working. Help, walking up dejected and suicidal is too much.