I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder back in 2017. However, that's not what is important. What important over here is that I suffered in silence for a long time. 
To begin with I am an extremely ambitious person and from what my teachers tell me I am enthusiastic intelligent and smart. I am not bragging I am pointing out the good things in my life. I scored amazing grades in my olevels and alevels. However life was hell everyday. 
I keep coming through stuff like how bpd manipulates? How they cheat, lie and abuse.
I wonder if anyone feels like I do? I dont think I have ever cheated someone just because I wanted someone to be there. No. However I have let people take advantage of me because I wanted them to stay. The fact that they would show interest in talking to me would be enough. I was emotionally abused by someone just because I was afraid that he would go. The truth was he was gone since a long time. I thought the person I love is the one I should sacrifice for. So this man would hit me up whenever he wanted to get rid of his blue balls. I knew he didn't like me but I thought he cared about me. Unfortunately, neither was the case, He wouldn't talk or text me for days and it would fill me with anger. pain and anguish. I hated him. But one call from him and I would be up at his service. I did not receive anything in return. I didn't like what I did. But it made him feel happy so that brought me pleasure. Because it would mean he will stay in touch.We were together in school and when school ended we went to different universities and ya met couple of times.Emotionally I was going through a torture. Hate love hate love, Coming back again and again. I always laughed when two people loved each other and did stuff for each other. My idea of love was pain. I did something that didn't make me feel happy for someone that I liked/loved/attached/infatuated with. How I got rid of this guy is another story. I took help from another person and little did I know it was start of another vicious cycle.
I would post about what happened after this. During this time I was also seeking medical help. I was on anti depressants and pills for anxiety that didn't really seem to help. Its 03:14 a.m and I should better get some sleep. I really want to tell my story and i would really appreciate a feedback. Also I am new here. Bravo to all my bpd friends. You are not alone.   