I’m just very depressed. All my the friends I have had at uni or in past have never truly been friendships. They’ve never been interested in me. Some have just blatantly used me when they’ve had no friends. I have social anxiety and it’s very difficult for me. 

I don’t think it’s helped having an autistic twin brother. He has social problems and I think he rubbed it off on me. (Not that I blame him) My older siblings are like me. They’re introverted and have no friends but they’ve been in and out of relationships that I can barely count how many they’ve have, and they have more confidence, better communication skills than me. They’ve had long term and short term relationships.

I feel like the odd one out or there’s something wrong with me since I’m going on 24 and still have had no partner. And no real friends to boot. I’m just getting depressed. My work colleagues are all older than me and I’m scared to join any clubs because I still have anxiety over meeting my old highschool bullies. I know pathetic. 

I’m even waiting to get rhinoplasty before I date because my nose is my biggest insecurity that I was bullied for. I’m just fed up. And I’m so lonely. I’m worried because I’m used to being alone and idk how I can add friends or even a relationship to the mix. I’m not a people person at all but ik I’m not in a healthy situation rn.  Can anyone help?