My girlfriend broke up with me, time issues, we were dating for 1 year and a half, but the way we're both living right now doesn't help our relationship so we ended it, she still loves me, and I still love her, but right now our relationship is not working, and well, I feel awful, I feel horribly sad, I feel in deep misery, and I feel like all that's to come is worse. I struggled with onsets of depression a year ago, at least  that's what a psychologist told me back then, and now I feel even worse than I felt back then, and I'm scared, scared of the horrible pain that I feel right  now and the pain that will come every day, my girlfriend promised me today that when the time is right, she'll come back, considering what's going on in our lives right now, that will be next year and I just don't know what I'm going to do, everything in the future seems so awful.

 I only have one friend to rely on and I couldn't contact him today because it seems his phone's been stolen. I need help, I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, all I see is darkness and I can't help but feel miserable, since love was probably one of the only things that would keep my life happy and now it's gone, I hate every single decision I made that indirectly led to this moment, I wish I could go back in time and fix everything, I'm scared, I'm afraid of depression, I'm afraid of never getting back with the person I loved most, fucking hell, 2020 and 2021 were awful, and now this?  why, why is this so horrible and why do I have to suffer so much now, I need help, if you could send some positive thoughts I'd really appreciate it.