Alright so me and my girlfriend have been living together for a year and in this time I've gown incredibly dependent on her for nearly everything. I don't hang out with my own friends unless she comes which has made most my friends just completely cut contact. We both work full time but she also goes to school so that time is normally spent me overthinking everything and swimming in my own pool of loneliness that I've created for myself. I will be sitting at home and start thinking that maybe she's finding someone else more interesting or just straight up cheating on me (which I don't think she'd ever actually do when I'm not in an episode) however it's an incredibly horrible feeling. If im driving I need to pull over till my body is done having an aneurysm, my breathing becomes almost impossible, and I proceed to have some of the worst panic attacks of my life. I don't know how else to sooth that feeling other than calling her and asking what she's doing but she doesn't always answer the phone because she can't even have her phone on her person at work or maybe she is just actually busy when I call but I will sit there and proceed to call her until she picks up. High score like like 38 I think. So she will get mad at me because I can't just trust her. Ive probably done this in every relationship ive been in. It will kill my relationship completely because I will just accept that my thoughts of this individual cheating are legit and ill brake it off over the phone never contact again. I don't want to do that anymore. I did try once to brake it off because of this impulse before and she had stopped me but had told me that she wouldn't do it again so while I haven't jumped off that cliff again, I have gotten very close and I don't want to ruin this one for myself. 
Does anyone have a way that keeps them from letting impulsive thoughts dammage their relationships with others? How does someone just sit with that feeling and tell themselves it's all cap? I also have a pretty serious issue with creating problems when she does finally hang out with her friends. It's a very rare occasion that she hangs out with her friends probably because she's too busy baby sitting me but when she does I will almost always start an argument. I don't know why I do this I want her to be able to hang out with her friends and feel like she is allowed to exist outside of what I need. The only thing I can think of is keeping my mind busy but I will never be able to keep my mind busy enough for her to enjoy herself and I can't seem to stop myself I don't even realize I've done it till the dammage has been done. Any advice is cool I appreciate it. I don't think this is "asking for medical insight" but if it is take er down