So, I've been depressed for a long time. I went to therapy with a psychologist and with a psychiatrist and honestly, I dont feel it helped. The medication just made me more sleepy that I already was.
I don't have any motivation anymore. I have a really hard time to get up every day and every night I go to sleep hopping I dont wake up the next day.
I am paranoid, and have this weird feeling I dont know how to describe, but I am always like scared. 
I think I will lose my job. I work remotely, I havent been paid for about 3 weeks and my boss doesn't answer me anymore.
I am tired of everything, of being nice, of not speaking up. I am always really quiet because I never know what to say.
Dont know what to do... I would like to just got to sleep.
Ive tried to make efforts to get better, but I always fall again. And I feel that every time I fall, I fall even deeper.