hi i'm coming on here because i'm kinda at a loss rn and i feel like i've really been struggling with interpersonal relationships. one major thing i've noticed is i can never bring myself to permanently like/dislike someone, once they do something (major or minor) to piss me off i'll think the absolute worst of them/ start to become wary of their intentions but once they're nice again or "redeem themselves" in some way it'll be all good again. sometimes they don't even have to do offend me or do anything major, but i'll just decide i don't like the way they act and start to dislike them immensely. this applies to everyone, even my close friends and loved ones. i thought this was normal but i've brought it up with a few friends and they don't seem to be able to relate, and i'm honestly feeling kind of misunderstood and scared for my relationships. it's really mentally draining for myself too, and i worry a lot about how i come off to other people. i can be rather passive aggressive at times, and i try not to be too sarcastic or bitter but i don't know if i'm actually doing a decent job at hiding it. i just wish i could find it in me to trust  someone permanently and have people i can genuinely confide in, and am considering seeking help.

can anyone else relate to these feelings and suggest further steps i can take? i heard about bpd a while ago but it's been starting to resonate with what i've been feeling a lot more in recent months. let me reiterate that **I AM NOT HERE for the purpose of labelling myself with the disorder/self diagnosing in any way,** i know how problematic and invalidating that can be. it's just that there's there's nowhere else i can share these emotions, and i would really just like to feel understood and find out more about coping mechanisms to deal with my fickle attitudes. thank you if you've read up to here and please remove this if it violates any guidelines