Yesterday I had a very triggering moment with my ex. We met another couple at a party awhile back and made plans to meet but never got the chance. They texted us in a group chat asking to make some plans. 

He (hasn’t spoken a word to me in weeks) but wrote a draft of a text to send them and wanted to ‘clear it’ by me.
In it he wrote something like ‘we’ve split but we’re on good terms and hope to meet individually…’ 

I impulsively snapped and wrote back “you can take out the ‘on good terms” and then he didn’t respond.

I felt so angry. He hasn’t spoken to me or made an effort at all to know how I’m doing- but to strangers he wants to play pretend that all is good and well. I almost wrote a tirade of text messages echoing this exact sentiment but at the same time something clicked in my brain that said ‘you can be angry and choose not to do anything’.

So I washed my face with cold water in the bathroom and finally just felt that space in between thought and impulse. I can feel anger and still choose not to do anything.

It’s been a full 24 hours and no tirade of text messages yet. Pre-DBT me would have cracked at midnight and spent all night writing some intense accusatory letter but Post-DBT me is chilling. 

I feel like I discovered a new super power- and now I want to test my skills to make that gap between thought and impulse longer.