Where I live, Thursdays are the beggining of the weekend. As I write this I am sitting alone in my porch taking in the last winds of autumn while listening to the album "the longing" by Drowning the light (black metal). 

It's yet another night where I have no one to talk to, no one to reach out to. For the last couple of years, I've dealt with loneliness numbing myself with study/work music and videogames for hours on end. As of lately, these things that once gave me joy have become more and more monotonous to the to the point I don't even feel like doing them anymore. I'm scared, I'm finally breaking. 

As much as i like to tell myself I'm strong and better for not taking part in vain things with all the stupid people, What would I not do to have a person, anybody to enjoy life with. I feel life passing me by, and if I were to be gone, not that many people would care