There have been points in my life where I've talked to people everyday, and because of this, I used to have someone I could always talk to. I feel all sorts of ways about that relationship, mainly consisting of guilt for putting all of that on them, but even though I think all these negative things about that relationship, I miss it so bad. I'm just trapped alone with my thoughts. I know it's selfish to want, and I say this in a mostly non-hyperbolic way; it was probably most of the reason I'm alive. I feel incredibly lost without being able to tell someone and get help. I've done therapy before, but I had to quit since it's not worth the cost just to keep lying to my therapist. I don't really talk to anyone anymore, and even if I can't have support, I just wish I had friends to be in the presence of. I am socially inept enough as is, and I feel less human everyday. I just want help.