Lately it feels like I'm always anxious. Small things trigger my overthinking and I get anxious.
1. My job requires me to live alone. I usually work Saturdays and Sundays as well to try and alleviate the stress. But when I get a day off, I get anxious. Maybe I should be working, maybe I could do something better.
2. I feel like I have ruined my relationship with my gf. I have been over thinking about getting a perfect job and had been without a job for a year due to which I couldn't marry her on the day we had preplanned and still aren't married. Her parents think me not having a job is because I'm a slacker. Now things are rocky.
3. I feel like I am a failure in general. My dad is really successful and I know I'd probably be fine even without a job but the pressure to match his legacy is another trigger.
4. Besides this I hate taking responsibility because I fear public speaking. I mean I have this uncontrollable shivers when I address a crowd because it feels like I'm going to mess up. 


At this moment I'm just passing time till life passes me by I think. Thanks for hearing me out.