I will try to sum this up into three parts.

Firstly, I have recently been obsessing over people again, particularly ex friends. I found out yesterday that one of my very few friends hasn't stopped talking to some ex friends of mine despite them treating me like shit. I introduced them all too so it's not like they were friends before me or anything. It hurts to think that he doesn't care and will still talk to them. He never even asked me why I stopped. I had an overwhelming urge to sh, but I managed to ignore it for a change (but drank more beer).


Secondly, I just got back from my very first DBT group. It was incredible. I was really scared and I've had a terrible experience with group therapy in the past but this was so different. My last group was really formal, everyone was sad and the therapists were useless, we weren't taught skills, and we were watched by a two way mirror. Only one person had been diagnosed BPD despite the group having 'borderline' in its name. Today's group was relaxed,  the room is big, light and airy and instead of tiny windows and a two way mirror there are huge windows and the therapists actually respect you. I got a few handouts and took notes and I'm looking forward to going back next week.



Thirdly and finally, after DBT next week I have an appointment with my care coordinator (a CPN). I want to ask about meds again *if* there's anything that could help me. I got nothing from sertraline or mirtazapine but my main issue at the moment is (aside from the crazy emotional roller coaster) is dissociation. I am in a near constant state of mild dissociation and I always feel zoned out or not with it. It's difficult to feel in touch with reality and my work and home life are suffering because of it. Does anyone have any advice for this or can anyone recommend any medication (if there even is any) that might help? My ex psychiatrist did suggest amisulpride at one point, an atypical antipsychotic, but it was never prescribed. Any personal stories or anything? Thanks &lt;3