I’ve (21f) always had this feeling that I’m not worth much. It started when I was ten and everyone had a group of friends, but me...or even if I was included, I was still the person who’s invisible. During my teen years I suffered from bullying so when I had the chance to change schools I did and never looked back. But I also decided that I wouldn’t try to make friends because in the end they would leave. 
Now I’m in college and I’ve made friends, I actually consider one of them to be my family. But I still have this sinking feeling on my chest that someday they’ll get tired of me and leave. 
This also apply to relationships. Right now I’m talking to a guy, we’re not dating but we’re getting to know each other, but I feel like I may be starting to like him. The problem here is that I get really bad abandonment anxiety and it ruins not only my days, but my health. Ever since I started feeling this type of anxiety again, I barely eat. It’s currently 9 pm and I’ve ate once, just now because my parents made me. 
I’m feeling lost. I feel like I have no worth whatsoever, that I’m garbage and replaceable, just a pass time. 
I also don’t know what I meant by posting here but I needed to vent I guess. 
Ps: before this guy I hadn’t talked to anyone since March of 2020, after a guy made me fall in love with him just to get sex from me and then leave, so I guess this episode has made me even more insecure. 

TLDR // I have abandonment anxiety