I’ve have a phobia of bugs sense I was a small child (5 or 6 years old). It used to keep me from leaving the house if there were bees on the bushes in my walk way. I used to have panic attacks for hours if I saw one in our house. 

I’ve gotten over a lot of it (I can even kill house spiders myself now!)
But Recently with construction in our area it’s stirring up cockroaches. The huge 2 inch long ones. 
Maybe 6 last year got inside last year. I found all of them myself. Due to my phobia it’s like I’m hard wired to look for bugs inside whatever room Im in just in case, so it was always me. 

That was when I started duck taping my doors closed. I put duck tape on the bottom edges of my doors so even if A bug was inside at least it wouldn’t get into my room. But in winter we don’t have any come in so I took the duck tape off. My anxiety was getting better and I wasn’t quite as paranoid. Until two nights ago, when I found a single cockroach on my wall. My parents killed for me, and I’ve cleaned my room top to bottom and found no evidence of bugs of any kind. 

Last time this happened I completely moved rooms in my house because I had found a cockroach dead in my old room. I have no other rooms to move to now. 

I can’t sleep well, I’m so scared all the time that I’m hardly hungry, and I feel disgusting. I’m sleeping on my living room couch rn, but I just wish I could go into my room without crying and feeling strangely violated!

I have bug companies coming monthly to spray, so no infestation. I mean logically I know this is completely irrational and a few stray cockroaches can’t hurt me but this feels like an impossible mountain of absolute fear I can’t get over. And I’m so freaking tired of being terrified all the time. Does anyone have any advice? 

P.s sorry for any typos, currently having some pretty severe anxiety attacks.