it’s really a blur how long this has been happening. but i keep telling my bf i need help. i need help. i’m struggling so bad. all i’ve been able to think about is how i’m destined to be nothing but a failure, and that i’ll amount to nothing. i’ve been thinking about ending my life constantly and crying at night. i’ve been wanting to sleep all day, i can’t get anything done or be any kind of productive. 

what is wrong with me? is this my bpd? how do i know if i’ll just be over it in like two hours? is this my depression?? i’m afab ftm, so is it my fucking period, dawg??

i want to give up so fucking bad, i cant take it anymore. i have urges to self harm, but my mother knows how volatile i am so she hides all that stuff. 

i’ve also noticed i’ve become so much more clingy with my bf and needing him, needing him, begging him to stay when i had improved a lot with this symptom?

should i admit myself to a facility? will it help? what’s wrong with me? any help is appreciated :(

idk if this helps at all, but i’m 19