I used to be the classic borderline, with breakdowns, threatening to kill myself if someone abandoned me. 

But I’ve noticed that I don’t do it anymore, when someone rejects me my feelings shut off immediately (they’re not that strong anymore either, I feel a bit numb) and it’s more like I’m angry that they dare do it to me. 

I don’t explode or feel hurt but instead plot ways to get back at them. I don’t seem to care about abandonment so much anymore, it’s more of an ego issue now I think 

It feels weird, considering my emotions used to be so strong and now that I’m able to control them somewhat (not anger), it feels like a different disorder since I still struggle with impulsivity, boredom, anger issues, and it’s clear I have problems. 

Isn’t fear of abandonment like the core symptom of BPD?