We had a very intense and off/on relationship which was pretty verbally (and rarely light physical: he pushed me sometimes and stuff) abusive. 

We met while studying the same program. We broke up over the summer, and now we are back in school and in the same room for 8 hours a day. 

I'm already someone who has trouble dealing with perceived rejection, and we pretty much completely ignore each other now. I know it is for the best, but even being in class with him makes me feel so emotional and unsure of myself. 

There is a part of me that misses the intensity and passion of our relationship, and even though I know he was a complete dick, I can't help but have those feelings. 

Does anyone have any ideas about how to cope with this? I can't get out of my program or change classes. 

Edit: I was diagnosed with BPD recently by the way, and there is also a part of me that feels so embarrassed. I imagine him dating someone new and telling his new girlfriend what a nightmare I was. I dunno, I just feel like I am his crazy ex girlfriend who he never wants to talk to again and it sucks. I get very attached to this person and I'm afraid I won't get over him for a long time regardless of how mean or selfish he was at times to me. 