sorry for the vent

i'm so tired of always having to give my all to everything. i'm tired of taking all these classes and having to work so hard to get good grades, while i'm expected to get all a+. i'm tired of my coaches getting mad if i miss a single practice, even tho i have so many clubs to go to and classwork to catch up on, and sometimes just need a break. i'm tired of being expected to be perfect at everything, and having to work so hard to just disappoint the people around me. i'm a brat i know i am. i complain about my school sometimes even tho it's a private school, and a good one. sometimes i want to just self-destruct, leave my good school and leave my friends. i want to distance myself from everyone and just dissapear. i want to open up to my friends, but i don't know how, and what if it makes them uncomfortable how i feel? i hate myself. i'm sensitive and emotional, but i can't change it. at least i don't know how. but at the same time, i think i'm just dramatic. after all i'm just a teenage girl, no one would ever take me seriously, they'd probably just laugh at me for being so emotional. i'm just so tired and burnt out, i don't have any free time most of the time. i need help but i don't really need it urgently, i'm not going to do anything bad to myself, so i don't know who to turn to or what to do.