As always, when things were looking good, things got worse.  I mean one good thing is I start my new job in a couple days, but then again, I'm just gonna be stuck in the same routine and probably tired all the time.  I don't feel enjoyment in most of my hobbies anymore.  I've lost interest in the girl I'm seeing, probably just because it seems she lost interest in me.  I literally spend hours of my day just sitting and doing nothing.  I don't have money to go anywhere or do anything, no friends nearby to hang out with.  Sometimes I get urges to just sell everything I have and do something crazy but that's just an insane idea.  Idk, life just often seems like a simulation where I'm made to suffer, and I contemplate killing myself to get out of it.  I hate society, and expectations, and standards.  Everything sucks and I just feel helpless, stuck in this hellhole of a world.  I just want someone to tell me it gets better.