Wanted to share. One of my best friends (who I have had a crush on for months) is in a relationship with another girl. I feel horribly crushed, but I can survive this. I don't need to internalize and shit on myself and ask myself what she has that I don't. I don't need to attack this girl and cling to my friend so she won't abandon me. I can be supportive AND nurse my broken heart. I can check the facts and remember that I am still a person who is lovable, and that I'm not defective because I wasn't chosen by my FP. At least I think I can. I don't know. 

I'm trying to radically accept and not suffer twice, but urges and thoughts are creeping in and my feelings are bombarding me. But I think I have the skills to get through this. Granted this could all change in like an hour and I can spiral, but for right now I'm trying to stay present. Idk. My heart lowkey feels like it's going to explode but I can do this. I can notice that my heart is broken and know that I can survive it. AHHHHH I HATE THIS I hate bpd but this is my life so I gotta stick with it. love u all.