I have stunted emotions due to emotional neglect through childhood, and BPD (probably caused by that or at least exacerbated by it) makes it near impossible to make friends. If I actually manage to connect with someone, I push them away out of fear of losing them, fear of somehow wronging them or being inadequate for their friendship.

I don't really know how to break the cycle, it affects me almost at a subconscious level, beyond my ability to control. Is there a way for me to fix this?