I think it's because I don't know what the right way to not worry is. I think I'll cause more harm if I try to get better and do it wrong. As immature as it might sound, it feels like I'm breaking a rule if I try to just follow my gut instead of looking for guidance for the "right" way to do things.  


I can't tell what's a rational worry and what isn't half the time. I can suspect it's irrational but it's hard to tell for certain and if it is rational I think I'm "supposed" to worry about it.   


I dunno if anyone else can relate or has thoughts. I do well sometimes, with concerted effort to quiet my brain down or focus on other things, but then something will happen and I'll just... doubt myself. Whether I'm cut out for making decisions. Whether I'll somehow hurt my loved ones or myself unintentionally because I could have foreseen something and I put it out of my head thinking it was irrational.