i havent self harmed since i was 18. ill be 22 in 3.5 months and i relapsed not only by restricting but then also just ruined my arm and now im dealing with the pain during showers and when i use my arm (i got close to the elbow and my skin there is super sensitive)
smth tiny made me cry and it spiralled into me crying over how no one will be there for me and how no one loves me and i havent cried about that in years i think. i thought i internalized that pretty well but i guess not. now i have to worry about not getting this fucking thing infected and i keep thinking i want to do it more lol