Mental breakdowns and suicidal thoughts ave become part of my everyday life. Self harming thoughts and tendencies are always on my mind, as well. My mind isn’t a great place and I don’t think that it ever will be. 

Distractions don’t work for me, either. I try to focus on things, only to lose interest moments later. I’m tired of feeling this way. And I wish that I could change things. It’s just physically and mentally impossible for me.

I’m constantly fueled with envy and jealously of people that are okay, of people that are happy. I just wish that I was never born. And I mean every word of that.