does anyone else’s bpd end up being somewhat cyclic? i question if i have bipolar II instead of bpd a lot because for months at a time i can be completely fine and then for no reason everything starts to trigger me and i go down a self destructive spiral where it’s hard for me to think clearly and everything feels like it’s rushing. i end up self harming a ton and attacking the people around me and get filled with suicidal thoughts. i get paranoid and accusatory. i lose my mental filter and get the urge to do terrible things. until it suddenly stops and i can handle myself for the next few months calm composed and everything gets easier to cope (though i have a lot of insecure thoughts and self hatred.) im usually stable when my partner is around me. otherwise whenever i feel rejected by them i can usually cope unless i’m having one of my episodes and then i end up going on drug benders and isolating myself and being aggressive towards them. i feel like i can’t control myself. i don’t know what’s wrong with me.