I just can't, my friend uses me as a therapist because her parents are jerks and she isn't allowed therapy and I just can't do it. I've been warned to not hang out with her by an old friend of her's and by my therapist and I've stayed up to the early hours of the morning trying to calm her down during her panic attacks. She makes me uncomfortable, everyone does I want to be alone. Another girl I hang out with panicked and wondered if I still wanted to be her friend because when my depression and anxiety get really bad I push everyone away and act cold and distant, so she started talking about how everyone hates her and I get it I really do, which is exactly why I can't give advise. i'm so tired. My family sucks and I loathe affection and crave it at the same time. Sometimes I just want a hug but i'm repulsed at the idea of being touched so I just wallow in self pity. I don't want to talk about my problems or vent because then I feel even shittier than normal. I just want to end it all.