I'm so upset. My FP and I have been friends for a little over half a year. I leave, he becomes indifferent if not happy. The little to no impact I've made on his life really has shown me I do not, in any way, matter or deserve love. The pain I'm going through right now. That I was friends with someone who didn't care about me. Who said he did, but he didn't. I'm legitimately not worthy of chasing. I'm not worthy of getting back. Now this guy hates himself. I didn't hate him. Maybe that's why he hates me. I thoroughly enjoyed him as a friend. I loved him. And he doesn't care. Maybe I am a bad person after all. I wish we could be friends still. I wish he cared about me. I wish I mattered. I wish I made a positive impact on someone's life. Anyone... please. I wanna hurt myself. 