Im really struggling with both right now. My health anxiety has been pretty bad for the last decade, with some long breaks in between intense bouts of it. But for the last couple of months, it's been coupled with this existential anxiety which is making it really hard to cope day to day. Im a 35 year old mum to 3 kids (10, 15 and 16 year olds). They're getting older and more independent, their childhoods are almost over, and I just feel like I've wasted the most special time of my life. I'm studying accounting and bookkeeping right now, but it feels so pointless to me. What if I get cancer and die anyway? What is the point of doing all this to work and make better money, for what, to buy a nice house and car? And then die anyway? Whether it's sooner rather than later? I swear, if it wasn't for my children I would just end it all now, because id rather just "get it over with" than to live and suffer.