First off, my girlfriend is not diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, but some of the things I've read about it make sense.

We have a complicated relationship. To start with, it's long distance, and we met on the Internet. She took a huge chance and flew in to meet me not long after we started talking online. We had fun, more than I've had with most women I've met locally. I flew out to see her the very next month (yes, talk about pricey). Good times again. Trouble is we've tried to set up a time to see each other again, but she's poor and can't afford to spend much time away from work. In the mean time, there was a time she just blew me off for a few weeks, but we started talking again, working through it. Things were going pretty well through Christmas, but then just last weekend, communication broke down to a text or two a day. She says she's going through some stuff but has been non-descriptive. She's usually talked with me about her problems in the past. Now I just haven't heard from her at all in a few days, and she's ignored my texts.

She's been stressed out with a hard life for a while, and I've tried to be as supportive as I can from so far away. Now that she's seemingly blown me off a second time, I can't escape the feeling that maybe an ex has wormed his way back into her life and she hasn't completely told me we're done yet because she's hedging, or now she just doesn't even care enough to give me that courtesy all of a sudden.

I am concerned that this might become a pattern: her vacillating from stressed and vulnerable, appreciating my being involved, and then feeling completely detached at the flip of a switch. I can't plan anything to see her if there's a fair chance she's going to randomly bail. I've become sentimental about her at this point, and being randomly rejected and ignored stresses me out.

She's beautiful, smart, and a little bit unusual. I like her. I don't mind the distance (well, I'd prefer to see her more), and I'm willing to stand by her when she's going through tough things as she's trying to pull herself up. She sometimes has these moods though where she believes she is emotionless—or should be—powerful, sassy, detached. When she flips into this mode and pushes me away, I just don't think I can keep taking that. I want her to be stable and genuinely happy, and part of a relationship is working together to make each other happier, but it feels like she's not holding up her end of the bargain when she ghosts on me only to get back in touch days or weeks later when coincidentally her life is going downhill again.