I don't think I have bpd (I'm currently pursuing an autism dx after being told my trans status was "a big factor" in my bpd dx) but I want to be a good son so I'm allowing my mother to enrol me in a 90-day adult bpd treatment facility. I've been inpatient for adolescent acute twice and it was very traumatic, and I'm honestly really scared it's going to be like that again. 

I do well with routine, but I'm worried that it's going to be where they don't let me outside, let me read, stim, or speak to my friends. All of that happened in the hospital last time, and I wound up way worse. I feel like every time I try to say "this treatment doesn't work/makes me uncomfortable" it adds to the "evidence" that I have bpd. I'm currently debating even telling them I'm transsexual because I'm worried it will encourage them. 

Is hospital really that bad? what's it like for y'all? is it helpful if you don't meet criteria for bpd? will they undx me if I don't meet criteria? 

thanks. I'm in the southern/midwest US, if it matters.