The feeling of want and the feeling of me actually doing it, is while the thought is happening not after. Please help it’s driving me crazy. I want to get over it and I feel the only way is if I know someone else does this too and that it’s just my OCD and I’m not really like that would make it go away 


I have religious OCD and I’m not sure how to explain this but once I figure out something is my OCD causing it and stop worrying about it another thought pops and I worry that it’s similar, okay so like
My OCD is about the “bad guy” I know y’all know what I’m talking about I don’t like saying the name, but I had a thought a couple of weeks ago I’ve been worrying about the “bad guy” for two years now but here lately it’s way worse but this thought I had was so random I was watching tv I finally got over a thought that I had been worrying about but I started feeling anxiety again well I tried pushing it away and I felt fine well I keep watching tv and still feel fine and I started thinking about a crush of mine what I wanted with the crush and all that well I say about 20 minutes later maybe not even that because I’m not entirely sure but I wasn’t thinking of anything that I can remember then all of a sudden I had the thought about the “bad guy” if given my crush I’d take it and when this thought was going on like exactly while I was thinking this thought I felt I wanted to do it like actually truly felt I wanted to do it and that I truly would do it and then I started freaking out because I don’t want to mean that and I was like what the fuck why would you think that then I started worrying it wasn’t my OCD because I felt I really would do it - ( like when you see a new movie you want to watch and you say “I’m gonna go watch that movie” cause you really want to see that obviously ) - this is how that felt and it scared me cause I don’t want, to want it does that make sense? But I’ve been worrying about it for weeks now well I quit worrying about it and then when I try to watch videos about the good guy I sometimes have bad thoughts and feel like I don’t want to watch them and sometimes I don’t want to watch them well thenI made myself worry that those two thoughts are the same and that since I don’t want to watch the videos and know I don’t sometimes made me think “ well if that’s so then maybe you do want the other thought about the bad guy” “maybe you would actually want to do it” and like I said I don’t want, to want to do it and I don’t want to feel like I would and I don’t want to mean it and typing this scares me cause I worry the bad guy will see it and that it would come true or something but I wanted answers and wanted to see that I’m not the only one and that it’s just my OCD