I feel so tired, so exhausted, I sleep most of the day away and have no reason to get up, things are hard and my life is in a bad spot, on one had I feel like I wanna let go and let the tears flow but on the other hand I just feel so empty and they don't even wanna come out. I just sit here staring at the same spot in the wall with no drive to do anything anymore, I'm not sure the Anti-Depressents are even helping me much anymore, they're gonna run out soon anyways because of some bullshit with my insurance, that's nice. I just feel like I need to get out, get some where far away and if I don't soon things are gonna end badly. I have nightmares about my emotional support animal dying still, it's so hard to get over it, my friends keep checking in on me because I'm not active and say it's fine and I can vent but I feel I'm letting them down. I don't even drink to escape and feel like I can't anyways because an abusive drunk father I had got violent when he did and I'm scared of ending up like him. This is a vent post so I don't expect any replies out of it, I just really needed to let this out, and I obviously couldn't tell a therapist because I'd just be put in a damn hospital and billed out of my ass for it.