Honestly just need to vent and be heard and maybe some support ? My now ex has ASPD, when we were together he went through a bunch of different diagnosis but that was his final one. We started seeing a couples therapist and she started to explain to me about narcisstic abuse in our relationship. She gave me some homework and I’m so shocked that I never noticed how he was manipulating me. Everything he has done to me is text book for trauma bond and love bonding. He is also 100% a covert and grandiose narcissist. We broke up because of many factors but as we are trying to work things out (we mutually agreed not to see other people) I find out he’s cheating on me with about a dozen men and women (he’s still in the closet about being bi and makes mean threats when I try to tell him it’s okay and I don’t judge because I myself am bi). Now we are moving out of my apartment and going separate ways but he is still trying to manipulate me, it’s so hard because I have a strong bond to him even if it’s just a trauma bond at this point. I’m constantly having to reach out to my best friend for support since I can’t distinguish what’s right and wrong anymore because I’ve been manipulated for so long into thinking things are perfect the way they are. Does anyone have a similar experience ?How do I become stronger than my abuser ? How do I know what’s real and what’s fake ? How can I better spot manipulation now and in the future ? How can I trust men again now that I have a horrible fear of them ?

Note: I myself have BPD along with panic disorder, major depressive disorder and PTSD.