i'm sorry if this sounds silly and stupid, but i'm having a hard time differentiating/knowing my own feelings. 

i told my girl friend that i liked her. i think i like her because she's weird, but in an endearing way. she's actually an awkward person, but still, it's somehow adorable, and i feel comfortable around her. 

when i confessed to her, i said that i'm still trying to figured it out; whether i really liked her or not, because i was scared that i only liked the idea of her, and not her as a whole. she said it's okay, and she told me that she "cannot return my feelings for now," (which was weird? because in my opinion that's not... a rejection??? man, i'm still confused with that whole sentence to this day.) 

after that conversation, i've tried to re-evaluate my own feelings, i even had to do a research on Google about what is it like to have a crush/fall in love. i don't feel any butterflies in my stomach, i don't feel like i'm cloud nine when i'm with her, i just feel like... i could imagined us being happy together. it just felt right to confess at that moment. 

back to my point: as someone with BPD, i'm still scared to jump to a conclusion, because i might've mixed it up with platonic love. can anyone gives me any pointers to decide whether i actually like her or not?