I have been unable to calm myself down for the last 5 days. I start crying out of nowhere, I don’t know why, well I somewhat know why not I don’t know why it’s so random. I especially cry at night, and then I get to the point where I can’t stop crying and I can’t breathe and I impulsively hit my legs or my head to try and calm down like somehow that will work. And the only thing that has helped is having someone physically help calm me down. And I don’t want to be a burden on anyone else anymore. And I don’t know what to do. Responses can be “therapy” “medication” but therapy takes months to get into. And medication takes so much work. I need something to help now because it’s a little bit all too much. And It’s also like my head is so full all the time, and it doesn’t ever quiet down. Normally when people are depressed they want to sleep all the time and do, but I legitimately can’t sleep. And I just cry all the time. And I will continue to cry for 6 hours over the same thing spiraling and spiraling. And it is painful, even just physically painful. 
So if anyone has any experience or advice that would be great, thank you for reading and listening.