Anyone else familiar with the episode where George decides the best way to succeed in life is to go against every natural instinct he has ever had? Everything he does suddenly brings him massive success in life.

So obviously, if your stress hormones are too chaotic and you're not in a good headspace, you can't always just apply this technique. But I've found that there are plenty of times when I can use this idea, and it's honestly proving to be very helpful, believe it or not!

I've found it most helpful in how I deal with relationships. Normally, I would get depressed when my friends kinda leave me hanging on text, and not want to message them again (because I feel unwanted at this point and don't want to look pathetic and needy). Now, I force myself to message them again, and I'll usually get a response (where otherwise, I would not, and we would go months without talking). Sometimes people are dealing with things, in life and in their own head, and sometimes *they* need someone willing to initiate and show that they care. Huh. Imagine.

I'm trans, and normally spend a lot of my time hiding from photos, wishing I couldn't be seen by others, and putting myself down. So lately, I've been taking pictures to try to boost my confidence (I've actually gotten a lot better, and it amazes me, as I used to have a legit phobia of being photographed). I've been sharing my pictures with people, and avoiding talking down about myself when sharing them. I usually replace this sort of talk with much more confident lines, and people seem to respond much better to this (they don't view it as me being pitiful for attention).

My biggest surprise has been in my love life. I've been talking to this guy lately, and I've been very diligent in reminding myself to practice this technique when talking to him. Again, I fake a lot of confidence, I don't talk down about myself, I don't bother him constantly and I just generally try to compose myself in a much more mature manner. To my surprise, he was actually the first one to show any signs of having low confidence! He's asked me why I like him, and seems a little shocked that I'm so attracted to his looks. Normally, I would be that guy, just waaaayyyy worse. I found it cute and sweet, and as soon as I hear him say these things, I'm reminded that any other time, that would have been me.

Even though it seems obvious that he likes me, sometimes my brain tells me that can't be true, but I keep ignoring that and refuse to ask for validation (because honestly, the things he says to me and the way he looks into my eyes is damn well validation enough, and my brain needs to learn to accept that). When he compliments me, I let him, instead of replying with a bunch of reasons as to why I'm ugly/boring/etc. I try not to pester him with too many messages, and sometimes I let him initiate conversation. And when I ask for selfies from him, I always send one of myself first (and again, I don't throw in any remarks about "sorry I'm ugly").

All-in-all, it feels like a much more healthy, level relationship, and if anything, I feel like he might like me more because I'm not a pathetic mess who needs to be validated in every aspect. While I've never been too crazy in relationships, this is on a whole other level of stability, and it's such a strange, good feeling to me. 

I had never realized before that me just being honest about my thoughts towards myself was actually setting the stage for a doomed relationship dynamic. There's a time and place for expressing yourself, and if you end up doing it constantly and in every situation, that's just too damn much, and it will cause problems.

I've always watched that Seinfeld episode and though it was an unrealistic thing to practice; if they're your instincts, then you're *going* to act on them, right? But I think that's because I was only trying to utilize it in situations where it wouldn't have worked (over-stressed, or when something major happens). I never realized before how helpful it could be to actually apply this logic to more mundane situations, such as personal relationships with other people. Times when my brain is chill enough that I can not only remember this, but can actually practice it as well.

The best part is, I honestly feel that by changing my habits like this, everything around me *is* going much more smoothly, and my confidence issues are less overbearing in my day-to-day. Maybe because I can tell myself to ignore my body issues when talking to other people, so I'm also learning to do it when I'm by myself. Either way, I'm seeing my friends more often, I'm putting myself out there a lot more, and I feel a lot more confident with where this new relationship is going.

I can honestly say, I never expected some of the best life advice to come from George Costanza, but damn does it work.