I'm not as good as a person as I thought I was. For years I tried to convince myself I am a good person. But in fact , there is not much I do to be. 

I am antisocial, I don't like to be around people and don't have many friends . I rarely check up on anyone to see how they are doing. I am not even close to my brother which will be the only close family I have when everyone is gone. 

I have BPD, PTSD, anxiety and depression. I ruin every partners life / relationship I have.

I try to become a stable person. But my situation is not helping me. I don't have good credit because I spend too much of what I don't have, I don't have anything to my name at 27 years old, if my parents were not here I'd be homeless. 

I lie all the time.

Shit I want to die and nobody would miss me if they knew all of this. I'd be better off not living at all.