The fuck is wrong with me. I just went from freaking out about being a shitty friend and room mate and apologized about it to someone and because they didn't respond within 3 minutes of seeing the message I flipped to, "I don't even give a fuck actually. Hate me I dare you". They ended up messaging back with a super supportive "it's okay. Let me know how I can help" and I still want to run and push them away