I usually spend my time on this subreddit responding to posts. But today, I'm making one of my own. I just got abandoned by someone I was sure would never abandon me, not like they did. Leave me, sure, if there was a reason to, but they just dropped me like a hot fucking potato for I don't even know what reason. One minute I was using my skills to communicate my feelings to them, I expressed that I was very upset and wanted to go home,  the next minute they were dropping me off and sending me a text saying we were permanently done. Fucking fine then, I don't need people in my life that are gonna drop me like that. Just fucking yesterday they were reassuring me I could express my feelings with them, I was USING DBT skills, taking responsibility for my feelings, using radical honesty, not even splitting, and then they break up with me? I'm just fucking floored. 
And I have no friends to go to for comfort. I'm polyamorous, I have two other partners, but I don't have friends. What I wouldn't fucking give for a group of people I could go to, to vent, to spend time with, to invite to my now three person only birthday party I have coming up in a month, and I don't have any. Most of the ones I had before starting DBT were either very shallow friends or I alienated them, now that I've been through DBT, I just don't have the energy. And it's not like I even had long term friends to begin with ever in my life. I never stayed in one place long enough to make friends, and now there's fucking covid, and I just can't do it. I have no friends. I wasn't built for friends. People don't like me unless they crush on me. I have dozens of acquaintances, but no one that wants to hang out with me. That wants to play games with me. That wants to be there for me. 
Im fucking done. All people do is keep you too far away to ever matter or leave you in the end.