 

We all have them. Write them down on pieces of paper or vision boards. This year will be different, we tell ourselves. This year will be *good.*

But we as humans seem to aim unrealistically high. There is of course nothing wrong with having dreams and ambitions. It’s one of the things that drive us to get out of bed in the morning. The problem we seem to have is unrealistic timeframes. We inadvertently set ourselves up for failure. And with that failure comes self-loathing and self-pity that makes reaching our dreams and ambitions so much more difficult in the long run.

Moderation is key to any type of balance in our lives. And new year’s resolutions rarely ever see moderation applied. We seem to forget that the year might be new but our daily responsibilities stay the same. We have jobs, families, kids. That doesn’t disappear once the new year rears its head to fill us with hopeless optimism that *‘this year I will be better.’* We tend to want to spread ourselves too thin and this leads to burnout, and eventually we give up and resolve; next year I will try again.

The negativity will set in though. Another year gone without achieving anything, without being any closer to the end goal. And we blame ourselves, because who else can we point the finger at? All of the outward anger will eventually turn inward as we face the ugly reality — *we failed.*

It’s a vicious cycle. Ugly and cruel and destructive and yet we find ourselves sitting in front of the notepad solemnly swearing in a new set of resolutions because it is a new year again and this will be our year. We got this.

We came full circle.

It is not our fault. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, as people like to say. New year’s resolutions are our good intentions leading us to our own personal hell. And these last few years have truly been hell for all of us. But the past is behind us now. All the failed resolutions and disappointment and regret is irrelevant now, because there is a new year ahead. Let it be a year free of unreachable resolutions and instead filled with the knowledge that everyone moves at their own pace. You are no more, or no less, than anyone else around you. Let this year be filled with self-awareness and empathy. Know when to say you’ve had enough, you need to slow down. Let your focus be your well-being, and the rest will follow suit.

None of us are in a race. There is no gold metal waiting that you lose if you don’t reach the finish line first. Stop and smell the flowers. Smile at one another.

**Happy new year.**