Its been 2 weeks into vacation. I havent done anything. I dont want to. I cant find a reason to. I dont want to talk about my past. Its just worthless. Its just to painful. I wish i had a meaning to life. A reason to live for. Im just tired of studying. Getting hurt. I cant even do shit. My health both mental and physically has worsened. My visual and auditory hallucinations have bedn more frequent. I only crave stimulus and a distraction. Is it even worth it? I dont even have person to talk to. I dont even have a person to talk to. I cant keep up. Who am i. Why am i. I wish i wasnt socially awkward. I with i was normal. I wish that everything is normal. Im just tired.