i don’t really know how to put this, every time i even think about this i lose it but i had early childhood abandonment and the parent and i are totally fine and super close now but i obsess over him passing away to the point where it’s crippling, all hours of the day, i can’t be sober, i can’t be unoccupied. i just don’t know how to stop obsessing over it (“sudden” death aspect gets me) because obviously everyone dies and i just feel like there’s no way to avoid it. if anyone knows what i’m talking about what do you do to keep yourself going ? it’s just hard