Hello- this is my first time posting here. I’ve been reading a few posts and I can’t believe how much I have in common with so many of the people here. 

My problem is straightforward. I just became friends with a woman at work (we’re both in our 20’s) and in the three months I’ve know her, we’ve become go to work buddies to the point where we hang out outside the office. I guess I can be considered her Favorite Person now based on the amount of messages I get from her now and the amount of time she stops by my desk or gets irritated when I can’t have lunch with her. 

I brought up the fact that I have OCD tendencies and see and doctor for it and she told me she sees a doctor for BPD. When she said that and I did a little more research to learn more, everything made sense. 

Over the past few months, I’ve developed a deep friendship with her but there are some nagging details that I can’t seem to let roll off my back. It seems like everything she does, she seems to “one up” everyone on our team, but I don’t think the stories she tells are true. The details of her work history and background seem to be evolving, from what she studied in college to her work history. She says she’s been working on a secret project for our manager that she can’t tell anyone about but that it’s going to change our business (but she likes to remind me that she’s working on a secret project constantly). As a result, she asks me to cover her work so she can work on it and goes from being omnipotent in the office to overly emotional when our coworkers hate her arrogance. 

Additionally, she comes to me whenever she has personal problems that I can’t make sense of. All of her ex boyfriends seem to have some mental disorder and an obsession with her that still effects her life. The issues effecting her are never small and always lead to her breaking down and crying.  

As her friend, I don’t know what to do in this situation. If I wasn’t her friend, I would go to my manager and tell him that I can’t handle the workload of two people and that my performance is suffering as a result. I’ve tried talking to her in the past and she’s broken down and told me “you’re the only person I can trust!”  

I’ve had this crazy idea in my head that doesn’t seem so crazy recently. She’s been dating this guy for the past two years (who according to her had a mental disorder) but she keeps seeing him, who knows her better than anyone else. I’ve been thinking about reaching out to him and finding out what the truth is here. Honestly, I think she’s a great person who is a hard worker but there’s just too much here to decipher and I don’t know how much of what she’s telling me is the truth.