I have a relationship with a person that are afraid of intimicy sometimes and other times lovebombing which have autism or aspd. The person I dated yesterday is my ex and likes me alot but is also a good liar. I told my my primary partner that I was going to meet up with a friend in the city but that friend doesn't live in my town and I know I could have lied better or not see my date at all. I think I feel regret or maybe it's just that I am afraid to lose something safe because I feel lonely in my own isolated mind. I struggle to have good people in my life because I seek excitement. I don't work like everyone else I feel like life is empty. Basically looking for people who can put me in my position so I won't have to be put somewhere secluded by anyone else. I have bpd and autism on paper atleast, honestly though thinking psychopathy just as my partners. I have a desire to read more into polyamory because this is hell. Call me whatever, but how could I fix this?