I’m falling apart again. I quit my job in December, was set up for a new job which I quit after a day because I had multiple breakdowns.

I’ve applied for a ton of new jobs to no avail. I’ve lost all motivation to make art, after years of trying to sell my work and get into the artistic scene, after getting a degree and trying time and time again to contact galleries and what have you, I’ve just given up.

I have moments of ‘clarity’ where I truly believe if I just keep trying things will work out for me, but those moments never last and I’m just back where I began.

Every time I try to make a life for myself I have a fucking breakdown, every time I strive to recover I always fail. 

It’s exhausting, all I can seem to do now is sleep and stare into space feeling sorry for myself and feeling completely hopeless and helpless.

I wish I wasn’t like this, I’m sick of being sick. I just want to be normal.