I don't know why but recently I've been so emotionally drained that all I can do is lay in bed and reflect on when I was at least somewhat capable of being truly happy. I keep thinking about how many people I had in my life and how  I ruined all of it without knowing until it was too late. I would do anything to trade my future time to go back to where I was. Does anyone know how to stop missing the past this much so I can at least try to be in the present?