My FP and I have been together for 7 years last Wednesday. A couple days before our anniversary, we had a HUGE argument and it has caused us to both be really on edge when it comes to our relationship, to the point where haven't slept in the same bed for a week now, his choice. I haven't been pushing him to do anything, letting him take his time, but what is confusing me is that he will somewhat snuggle me (lay his legs across my lap) and he will hang out with me whenever I'm home, and he even has playfully smacked my butt like how he did before the argument. We've still had times where we have snapped at each other but generally, we have been having a good time otherwise. I'm just beginning to now feel used, as if he just wants me as a friend with benefits. I don't think it's the case, but I feel like if I tell him any of those concerns, he will think I am just trying to sabotage the relationship and it will push us over the edge. I have legitamately no one else besides a therapist and my dog in my life. None of my family is alive, and my friends haven't spoken to me in ages, especially since I've only focused on my FP for so long, that I isolated myself. I want this relationship more than anything and I'm not sure if I can handle losing him. I've been crying myself to sleep every night. I know he has heard me, too. I just feel terrible and I was feeling extremely suicidal last night. The only thought that kept me from doing anything was thinking about my dog being there.
I don't know how to go about this and I really don't feel I have anyone I can turn to.