So, there's this guy I met when hanging out with my sibling. We've chatted over the last few months, but sometimes I struggle to be social -- just generally. It doesn't get better when he triggers my anxiety, which is something he does quite often. I don't want to be rude about it, but he asks me stuff that I've already beat myself up about and spend plenty time thinking about without his help. Then him reminding me about the things kinda sends me spiraling.

That's probably not his intention, but I don't think he understands how it feels. I'm soon to be 21F, and don't have a license. I've gotten my permit a few times, but don't always have the resources to practice my driving skills. Along with anxiety, it's a difficult thing to do. I've been behind the wheel a few times, but it's always nerve-wracking. If need be, I Uber or ask if someone can pick me up. Worst case scenario, I don't get out.

He also asks me why I don't really have friends, or how long it's been since I hung out with them. I'm hesitant to dive too deep into him with what all went on there. But my last couple friends were pretty toxic. 

I also lost one of my siblings a few months ago, along with my last couple jobs so that's been difficult to navigate -- and makes it harder to work towards things. I've tried therapy, but I shut down and really think I need time to figure myself and all of this out more before I attempt to bring a therapist in again.

I don't mind being alone, or mostly just hanging out with my family -- but it's almost like he views it as an issue. I don't see it that way, but maybe that's because I'm used to being a loner.

Add all that onto a job interview yesterday where I froze up because of anxiety and the manager looked at me like I was an idiot. It was a roleplay scenario with retail credit cards. Raise your hand if you hate this too.

I'm meant to be a stocking position, and only on the floor during opening for a couple hours -- so it wasn't at the front of my mind.

The guy I know does have his nice, goofy, moments. But I'm really struggling.

If I bring up these things to him and tell him it makes me uncomfortable, then he questions it more. The he tries to give me advice like exercising, or otherwise to help with my anxiety. He's probably just trying to help, but... Sometimes I just need to process without the excess input. 

I've had some form of anxiety ever since I was a kid, so I doubt it'll ever truly go away. Is it stupid to wish he'd kind of ask more about me, apart from my mental illness. Or at the very least stop poking the bear?