Everything's been shit for weeks in general but I've kept it all in yet last night I just went over the edge and everything just came out. Rang my mum thanking her for being there and started bawling, then rang my dad and kicked off with him for not doing the same. 

We've always had a weird relationship and after my overdose, he was really there for me, took a lot of time off work and made sure I was okay - but then a few weeks afterwards, he went back to never answering the phone and didn't text me back for 3 weeks. 

He attributes this mainly to the fact I got back with my boyfriend who he doesn't like, but I didn't mention anything about him and at the end of the day, I'm still his daughter and I'm still unwell and need him. 

Now he's asked me if I want to go with him to my grandparents tomorrow but I feel like it's going to be awkward and that he's probably only asked me because he feels he has to. I don't know, but his disappearing act has been v triggering lately. If my own dad can't be arsed with me, what the hell am I worth? 