I have been so mean to him. We argue like every 15 minutes over petty shit bc he is always pushing me to do better and I get insecure... but I finally did it. I finally broke the camel's back. He just was holding me in bed and told me he was done and that he's moving out tomorrow. I dont... I dont want to manipulate him into staying. He told me he still loves me and that he'll miss me, but Im just not good for him. 

I... am panicking. I dont want to cry and scream and throw shit and manipulate him into staying, but my bpd is yelling at me to do it. I just want to be better for him and work on myself.