I regret to say that I feel my behavior has gotten out of control. I continue to push people away and find myself greatly irritated by even the smallest of things. Earlier today I grew so angry that I could hear my heart pounding as if it were in my ear. I wanted to throw my wine glass and remove my bedroom door from its hinges. This volcanic and untamed anger must stop. I try desperately to control it but it seems to me that it overtakes me quicker than I can recognize it. Perhaps a great deal of it has to do with being frustrated with myself. All I do is complain about how no one cares but when people decide to and show that they do, I continue to push them away. Sometimes I am sickened by the person I have become. Ironically, I have no idea who that even is. I am unsure whether I care too much or care too little.