I do not have BPD but someone very close to me does, and I reaching a breaking point. I just need some sort of help or words of support to help guide me.

I feel like I’m breaking down. There are good days an bad days, but every bad day makes it more difficult for myself to be the person I have to be when the next one comes around. 

I feel completely overwhelmed. I’ve been having a lot of anxiety attacks over the last year due to this persons behavior and decision making. I’ve had two very serious mental breakdowns that lasted several hours over the past couple of weeks. My mental health has deteriorated a lot. Right now I’ve been sitting on my couch for about two hours because I just don’t know how to deal with what’s going on. It’s like a feeling of impending doom in my stomach. I’ve been through this so many times with this person: they have a bad day and so they start doing things they normally wouldn’t and I know I’m supposed to try and stop them because they have told me to in the past but when I try to there’s nothing I can do because they just argue. 

I feel like such a sickening mix of the problem as well as the solution. I make things worse because I try to make things better. 

I’ve been drinking a lot more than I normally do for the last five months as a coping mechanism, once or twice a week, and I want to right now but I feel like it would only make what I’m experiencing right now worse.

I’m sorry if this is all over the place. But the point is there is someone I care about who has BPD and it’s putting a real strain on the relationship between us and has been for almost as long as we’ve known each other and I just don’t know how to properly deal with it anymore and I feel like bad things are happening and are always going to keep happening and nothing is going to get better and that I’m never going to stop feeling sick like I do right now.

Please, what can I do to help this person and how can I make things easier for the both of us