I want to send her a picture of my sliced up wrists. I want to tell her I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to stay alive without her. I want to tell her I hate her, that she ruined my life, and that I love her more than anything in the world.

I’m so desperate and it’s so tempting. All it would do is destroy our friendship, and make me feel worse and make me seem like a manipulative fuck. But there’s like a pull for me to do it, the same pull that’s telling me to kms and the same pull that makes me cut myself.

It’s so hard to resist.