My relationship and life is all messed up . A lot of it being due to me being bi polar.  Sometimes I can’t remember shit, I say and do things I shouldn’t in the moment. Very impulsive at times. The medicine is starting to help with it all, I notice it quite a lot. I don’t know what I’m going to do if I lose my wife. We were best friends for the last few years and have been through so much together, and now I feel like I’m nothing to her. Both females It hurts so much. She doesn’t want to be with me and I don’t blame her because it’s hard dealing with all this and I’ve hurt her at times. Verbally or whatever when I’m spiraling out of control or accusing her of things. I know I have lots of changes to make too and I’m more than willing to do just that, for myself and her. I just feel like it’s too late and it kills me. I won’t ever love anyone like I love her man I can’t lose that. She takes care of me when I’m sick, she cares more than anyone ever has , she is a good listener , funny and fun ! I just wanna see her happy too I just wish it was with me ya know that’s all . I’m not working trying to get stable on meds , I just love her more than anything in this world Thanks for reading man idk if this even made sense, but it felt good to get it out .