[other post](https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/comments/pikgxr/my_rabies_anxiety_is_really_getting_out_of_hand_i/)

Now, I'm extremely convinced that it was a bat. It may not have been a bat but if I'm that convinced, it must be a bat. Even my memory started changing. I used to not remember bat wings but I started to believe that I saw bat wings. I really want to investigate this further but my brain simply wants to focus on something else and accept that I'll die in a few months. I try to force my brain to fully research this but it doesn't work. Now it expresses itself in more indirect ways, suck as thinking that I have six pack abs but they are now worthless because I'll die in a few months due to rabies and I'll not be able to get the vaccine because then I would risk not being able to go to university and my family eternally insulting me. Can convictions like this be completely false? I can't even verify them because I'm so convinced. I didn't even think about it, it just defaults into a bat rather than a butterfly (and it may have even changed/tainted my memory) so I went on from there. Maybe I'm avoiding the verification via my past memories because I'm scared that it was actually a bat and I need to risk not being able to go to university just for a vaccine? Like when I try to debunk the bat, I feel great but what if my debunk is actually false? It actually feels like I have accepted my death and 2 months later, I WILL die. It feels THAT certain. 24 days elapsed. 66 more days to worry about this.

Also, how to objectively examine a memory without your convictions tainting it?

Edit: Also, I started to have muscle twitching on my right thigh. It isn't the toes but I'm still worried that it is an "asymptomatic" symptom of rabies!