I’m an 18 year old high school senior. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was really little but never medicated and I never asked about it because I thought it was one of those like fake memories you get sometimes, but it’s for real as my dad confirmed it for me. I’m hopefully going to get medicated soon, but I think it’s way too late.

I’ve always had terrible terrible grades, had a hard time learning and understanding things, and just a general poor relationship and view on school. I never connected it to the possibility that I may have had ADHD or anything, but now it’s so fucking obvious. I have no idea what I am going to do with my life. 

I know everyone’s always like “oh school and your grades and stuff isn’t the end all be all,” but it really feels like it. If my art related stuff doesn’t work out, what the hell am I supposed to do? I don’t have any money and no way I’d get a scholarship. Everyone around me and all my friends are getting accepted into universities. I plan on taking a year off to try and figure things out but in reality I’ll probably just waste away and do nothing like this past year and every year before that. 

I feel like I have no future. 

And before any comments, I don’t plan on doing anything drastic. I’m just emptying out all of my thoughts, since learning the diagnosis was legit but never medicated it’s just all been building up. I just keep thinking about how different my life could be.