My girlfriend left me after two years. It's BPD, makes me distant, makes even sexual intimacy impossible. No one here probably understands this, never met anyone with these symptoms. I cannot see the human in me anymore, only BPD. Maybe there was never anyone inside me but this dark and destroying chaos. Sure cost my gf her whole life, trying to make something better out of me. All I am is the broken entity that people want to make human, but they only leave just as broken. No one will read this, I mean pain is commonplace, I am just letters on a screen. Still I tried.