Work, relationships, family, mental health. It’s all starting to get too much for me.

I make content online as a way to make myself more useful during the pandemic. It’s been fun but it’s starting to stress me out. I’m on the way to burnout because work is all I think about. I want to make the best content for everyone and it helps me avoid thoughts I don’t want to think about.

Then there’s my mental health. I just don’t like myself and have had a few scary thoughts lately. I’m not taken any sort of dangerous action or anything, but I don’t feel like doing things I enjoy anymore. 

This is affecting my chances to tell someone I’m friends with I like them. I can’t be open and love myself, so how do I expect to do the same for another person? I know he likes me back but I don’t want to put them through any sort of negativity because of my stupid brain. 

And my family can’t know any of this. I’m just so overwhelmed. I can’t even see a therapist. I’m hopeless