My boyfriend broke up with me he said something along the lines of not wanting to be with someone who is self destructive 
He tried coming back to me a day later but the things he said were so hurtful I couldn’t take him back. I’m fighting the urge to text him something hurtful, or worse asking for him back. I hate that I can’t be alone I hate that I need someone to hold my hand throughout life. This time I want to be single and stay single but that little part of me that’s scared and needy might go crawling back to HIM or to dating apps. Logically I don’t want to do either of those things but I know how I can get and I know I don’t have restraint. I just want to be strong for once.