It’s currently almost 4 a.m. and I cannot stop thinking. Every time I stay up this late I find myself having a panic attack. And I mean every single time. I feel so alone and afraid. I sit in my room staring at the wall while my depression and thoughts eat me alive. I think about death and how scary it is. I think about how I could just end it all in the matter of seconds and I don’t have to be in pain anymore. I think about how fast time is going. Recently, its been how I can never tell the truth. I don’t think any of my friends know how my life truly is. My internet friends of 4+ years think i’m a year older than I am and I don’t know how I can confront them. I don’t know how to tell my irl friends whats going on at home and How I am slowly rotting away in bed everyday. I can’t talk to my parents because they don’t believe me. I dug myself so deep and I can’t get out. I feel like I’m drowning and there’s no escape. I feel sick to my stomach every time I think. I want it to go away I am so tired of crying and shaking and hitting myself because of my panic attacks. I can’t believe I have to do this and go to school in 3 hours. Hopefully I feel better