I don't remember which day I started, I think it was last Monday? I picked up a bottle of vodka from the store, just a little one cause I like to have a drink after work to help feel something, so I drank some that night, then again after work but uh oh, I drank too much of it and I ran out so what do I do? Next day after work I buy a half gallon of vodka cause obviously it was twice the size of the first one, but not as expensive so in the long run it will SAVE more money. It's Sunday night now and I've drank until I could feel something every single day after work and even more during the weekend. I just finished off the bottle was writing this and I still feel too numb. I forgot what it was like to actually have a guard lowered and feel emotions other than just numb.  


I don't even know the point of this post, I still know that tomorrow Monday after work I'll be heading to that store to buy another bottle I thought I solved my problems but now I realize that I am just the problem that can't be solved. It's honestly probably for the best that I'm so alone, I would hate to have someone that cared about me see me like this but thankfully the only person I have to deal with is me, and me understands me.