I'd rather post here than other subreddits that seem to stigmatize BPD. I don't want to be one of those partners who latches onto ironic websites that paint all people as BPD as black, and know that people who suffer from BPD are not bad people.

For the last year, my uBPD moved here and heavily relied on me for support and friendship. She didn't have many other friends and I guess we became entrenched in each other's worlds, living in a vacuum. During her unstable emotions and splitting, she'd often consider a psychologist but was understandably too frightened to take the plunge. Sometimes I'd react to my emotions, sometimes I'd ignore and probably forgive too easily, and other times I'd assert myself and say that, regardless of how she felt, her outbursts are hurtful. But she would be genuinely apologetic and, in her better moments, would be a considerate and loving human being.

Though she stayed at my house for most of last year anyway, we've been living one on one for over four months. At the start she'd sometimes say she'd feel trapped living with me. When her emotions shifted, or had more sleep, she'd think that was ludicrous and loves feeling at home with me.

She rarely went out, even though she's 18, but the past few weeks has found co-workers to drink with. It's gotten to the point that she's been out, probably, 15 out of the last 20 days. As she works early mornings, she's getting a lot lack sleep.  She's told me things she "doesn't love me anymore" and that "I'm shit", and just wants to feel completely selfish, and not focus on being a girlfriend. But in more lucid moments, where we have mature discussions, she is apologetic and feels horrible she's taking her pain out on me, and says she loves me deep down and has been feeling depersonalised. She's also for the first time accepted the possibility of a BPD diagnosis, and wants to see someone.

This also happened when she got the Implanon reinserted - does anyone relate to hormonal birth control heightening BPD symptoms?

I felt jealous and neglected pretty early on, as I guess I was more dependent on her than I thought, but soon realised that was unfair and she is entitled to a life outside of me and to make new friends. I wanted it to happen and aplogised. But now it seems like a compulsion, making up for all the times she missed out in 2016, and she constantly chats to one of the male drinking partners at the expense of our own friendship. There's only been very few moments I've felt connected to her the past few weeks. I fear he's replaced me as an 'FP' and she's idealising him, but she's also told me she doesn't trust him completely and the idea of romance seems silly.

I don't want to fight with her anymore, and I do have sympathy, but I don't condone her behaviour. I don't like feeling like I'm no longer her best friend or her #2, or getting paranoia she may be cheating on me with him. There's a clear difference between having other male friends and being replaced. At the worst moments, I've felt we've broken up and I'm mourning her all the while living with her.

I'm going away for a few days to clear my head, and think it may be good if she moved out - even for a few months. I don't want to make her feel like I'm abandoning her, but I've felt abandoned too the past few weeks, and feel that us chatting online won't help me heal. If she needs that independence, I can't feel like I am trapping her or she doesn't want to be here.  I love her, but I can't support her anymore if I can't help myself. But I don't want to make it feel like I'm punishing her or giving her an ultimatum as I go away for a few days. I just can't support her anymore if she won't see a professional, or if she will continue constantly chatting to this new guy - even if it is platonic. Or am I being too rough? Surely I should still feel like I am a friend? She told me she wants to change, and knows it's shit, but the self-insight times and the acting out times seem to rapidly switch. And underneath all of these surface emotions, I'm still her 'FP'.