I've known for some time that I have a tendency - well, an automatic function - to react with extreme intensity to everything. I'm also aware that I can be manipulative. I can look at a situation or a person and see exactly how to play things to get what I want. However, I don't do that. People I don't care about, sure, I have no massive issue with some mild manipulation to get that kiss or whatever etc. but with people I do care about, I am constantly thinking over everything I do to make sure it is honest and not me twisting anything.

But at the moment I keep being accused of twisting things. I know I'm prone to see everybody else as wrong, but I honestly feel that I am right in these situations. For instance; my friend has been telling me consistently how much he hates children, especially the children he's teaching. He says he hates teaching in general, he once told his class he didn't like them and then stormed out, and told me that he hadn't been marking his class' work because was "bored". This is all exactly what he told me. Verbatim. I tried to avoid the subject but he kept talking about it, so I told him it was incredibly irresponsible and unfair on the children, the way he was treating the children, and that it's childish to think you can just stop doing a job when you get bored. He called me emotionally abusive, a liar and a bully for saying so. He's also called me this after telling me only bad things about his flatmate and me forming a negative opinion of him, and various other incidents. 

He claims that I phrase everything deliberately to make him feel shit - why I'd want to do that, he refuses to say. I've pointed out that thanks to my severe anxiety and how much I care about him, I think over everything I say to him to make sure I'm not accidentally offensive. I have panic attacks now, worrying that I've accidentally offended people because my efforts don't seem to be working.

I just can't tell whether I'm right or wrong. I don't see that I'm being offensive at all, but more that he is a psychologists dream and is projecting all of his own problems onto me because I'm the more clearly unstable of the two of us (he won't admit it but he's having another depressive episode). But then what if I'm remembering wrong? What if I am being manipulative in ways so subtle I can't even see them? What if I am emotionally abusing him and I can't tell?