I have chronic depression, chronic anxiety, PTSD (diagnosed from my mother's suicide after she lost her battle to depression), secondary PTSD (from military security assault), bipolar depression, and fibromyalgia which effects my central nervous system causing my entire body to constantly feel severe pain.

I take my meds daily as I should. Without them I become suicidal and manic in the form of hypersexuality. With my meds, I can be perky, but I still have all of my depression like a storm cloud following behind me.

This all started 10+ years ago. I start out relationships with the other person making me happy, but eventually the happiness goes away and I feel like I'm just a burden bringing them down, so I self destruct and leave. I'm 3+ years into my current relationship and I feel like he deserves better, plus he tends to put me down and make me feel like I'm making up how bad I feel at times. He wants me to be able to "snap out of it." I'm friends with another guy who wants to be with me and promises to give me all the love and affection I need for my own self validation. But if I leave my bf for him, won't it still end in the same fate?

Will I ever truly be happy? Like on my own? Or will I always need my meds to keep me alive?