Sometimes I have thoughts / desire that I have to do otherwise I feel bad and I will not stop thinking about them to the point of not being able to anymore (take too much pills, self harms..). A few days ago it was about hurting myself physically, drinking alcohol and overdosing on paracetamol, luckily I managed to ignore it this time but I was really in pain. With time these kinds of moments get worse and worse and I'm afraid I won't be able to hold out the next time. I cannot discuss this with my therapist because of my selective mutism that came back, I don't want my friend to know and my sister wasn't home at the time and still hasn't come home, I don't know what to do and I really need help please (Sorry for my bad English I use Google translate)