Some shit has gone down with my ex a few days ago (??? not sure about the timeline) and after my initial emotional outburst I've been feeling incredibly disconnected and just out of it, pretty sure it's derealization.

The days just...  pass and I couldn't even tell you when exactly it started/how long it's been and my sense of time is all out of whack

I'm not even suicidal rn (wow that sounds terrible), I just, I don't know what to do, I don't have a therapist and I'm so disconnected and everything is so unreal I don't know how to get out of it, I'm crying because I it's too much

Also my nightly paranoia/fear of the dark have come back and it scares me I just don't want to be alone

I went to the store a few days ago(???) to get food to binge on because thats waht I do when I feel like shit and I was hungry when I went but I didn't crave ANYTHING, I went into panicmode because I didn't know wtf to get and it was bad and eating makes me nauseous now and not eating does too with added weakness on top

Sorry I am freaking out I can't even type properly