I don't really know how to explain that I am feeling right now. I felt this few times before and every time I ended up broken, unable to get out of my bed.

Nothing feels interesting anymore. Whatever I use to enjoy has become a pain. Some night I wonder if I don't wake up tomorrow will anyone notice? 

It doesn't matter how hard I try to help myself I end up being hurt. I know I sound pathetic.

Someday I will get out of this place alive or dead.