Get any disorder some loser can check on CT scan and you're "disabled".

Literally be mentally ill and depressed for so long that you genuinely can't even remember what happiness feels like and you get some useless phone numbers. People cannot actually comprehend that a mental illness is as real as an organ disease of some sort.

The last time I felt like myself was high on MDMA in 2016. It felt like real me just woke from being in a coma for 10 years. It was the only time since 2007 that I have felt like me. Since then, rage, hatred of life, people, and everything in it, suicidal ideation, depression, anxiety.

The illness is now the normal. I can only function by recognizing I am genuinely disabled and have to live like  a person with a physical disability. In other words not expecting to magically be able to experience normal things, but get by the best I can. A person paralyzed in a wheelchair doesn't have people constantly telling them to "just walk again bro lol" or send cuckold hotline numbers, and they understand and come to terms with the fact there will not be a day where they just magically walk around, and learn to live the best life they can in that wheelchair. Knowing they CAN'T run around and do things normal people can.

I am a disabled person. I have a serious disability. Period.