currently:

\-no physical connection/affection in over 6 months

\-no mental connection in over 6 months 

\-no therapy, dbt, or venting; I've been depressed for most of the year; Covered CA terminated my insurance in September so I have to wait until 2020; I have enough prescriptions until then

\-dislike my job and their break system

\-I miss my ex, selena, more than everything; its been almost 1 year since she dumped me 

\-dating is bad for my mental health 

\-my dog is getting older; he turns 14 next week; he is bind and has diabetes 

\-I moved back home into my parents house 6 months ago. They are starting to annoy me, but at the same time I wish I had a better relationship with them

\-I smoke a lot of weed; anywhere from 2-5 times a day, everyday 

\-I want to take acid or shrooms to reset my mind 

\-I've been drinking more

\-I'm scared about starting my new career next week and not liking what I have chosen

\-Theres somethings I should be looking forward to, but its tough with this cloud of current feeling looming over me on a daily basis. I'll be attending therapy as soon as I can in 2020