I can’t stop thinking about what I did to you, I can’t stop thinking about me hurting you. I told you I loved you and then I hurt you, I knew I loved you but if I loved you like I said I did then why would I hurt and betray you. We’ve had so much good memories and good times, and now most of the time all I’m thinking about is “how come you can still look at me and love me after feeling and knowing what I’ve done to you” I don’t understand how it’s all possible. It’s a blessing that I still have you, and that everyday I can still call you mine, but it’s also really hard to look at you looking at me like I did nothing wrong. I love it because you look at me with so much purity, you look at me as if you’ve forgotten all the fucked up things I’ve done to you. I didn’t mean to do then I just couldn’t handle who I was, and I didn’t know how to take on that information you were giving me. It was super fucking hard because all I wanted was you, and now I finally have you, and I sorta ruined it because I decided to listen to something you said , and let it get to me. I should have just stayed true to my feeling. But I was spiraling and didn’t know what to do. 

I’m really sorry for the way I hurt you, I shouldn’t have done those things. And I just don’t get how forgiving you are it truly is one of the many things I love about you. I love you so much and I’ll never hurt you again.