I’ve been in a nightmare for the past two weeks. After Christmas time I started feeling dizzy and off, but the symptoms would go away as soon as I ate a meal. Then 5 days into this wierd dizziness, I felt like was going to faint, I was at the gym, doing some exercise nothing super strenuous, and when I got up it felt like my head lifted from my body, and I was like “holy shit I might faint” I made out of there and back home, but the dizziness that accompanied it never went away. It’s been a week now since the incident and I have been left with a sort of dizziness that just won’t go away. I got really worried and decided I probably should go to a doctor. And that became a nightmare of its own, Me or my partner have no health insurance, we can’t afford it, and i don’t work because of a separate issue. Finally I found a clinic who takes low-income patients, but unfortunately I was only able to qualify for a very small percent off the doctor bills. I have an appointment for Tuesday. 

I have been crying every single day, partly because I feel like I am trapped, destined to be in this dizzy state forever, and because I feel so stressed at the challenge of affording this. Now I have been trapped at home in my apartment for the past week, and it’s making me really, really depressed. As I said before I don’t work. So I don’t really have much to do all day, and i am to dizzy to do what I usually do which is draw, and prepare my portfolio. My boyfriend works all day 7-5, the only day he has off is Saturday. I don’t have friends, just my family. But it feels like everyone else’s life is just continuing without me. I feel like nothing more than a burden. I have felt that I have been plunged into a deep depression and I feel trapped by this dizziness, this loneliness, and this helplessness. I already felt helpless before, but now I feel completely useless. 

I’m really struggling right now, I’m really trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel, but I just don’t see it.