I have been having suspected stomach ulcer issues that haven't gone away with PPI acid medications or sucralfate. I mean they worked at first but in late April, I got my second pfizer vaccine and ithrew up the next morning and immediately after I was immovable crying in pain on my bedroom floor. The nurse on the phone during this told me gallbladder, and i wasnt so sure.. nothing came of that,, but ever since then the dull pain right below my sternum hasn't stopped. 

This all started in late January,  so I've been dealing with this medical issue for months. 

I finally got health insurance on the 1st so I can finally get an endoscopy!  I haveit scheduled on the 10th,
 so in 2 days :)

At first I was really excited and nervous I wasn't gonna make it to that day without going back to the er because my anxiety makes situations seem dire. But it's been 15 days since I was notified of my endoscopy date and so far I feel really proud of myself :)


But today I realized something that is going to make these next 2 days am absolute nightmare....


"What if it's cancer????" 

I know that's a stretch. But my brain is really really really trying to trick me into thinking it is stomach cancer.  

I obviously haven't been able to eat right because of the stomach pain for the past few months, and I have started pushing myself to eat more and more, which is good! And I only started eating more food in the last 6 days so I cant gain my weight back that quickly or anything... I also went to the er for these pains in mid March and they did a full blood panel for my cell count, and pancreas and liver checks.

But I am scared because the last timei was weighed was in March and I was about 120 lbs and I went to the gym today and had a hardwire even walking on the treadmill without feeling tired, and when I started doing crunches I was exhausted only after a few reps. I was at the gym walking for 15 min and did crunches and squats for maybe 10min only, when last year (last time I went to a gym) I was kicking ass and could do it all for 1+ hrs while goofing around and actually feeling good! But not this time. I was winded. And weak af.

I got scared and weighed myself and I saw a scary number. 114.6lbs
(This scale could be totally off too but idk)

I have lost about 6 lbs. And I don't think I had any excess fat on my body.

Now idk about anyone else but hat has only reassured me of my fears. I mean the weightloss technically makes sense... pain = no eating over a few months = weightloss

But why am I so tired? 


I am literally so scared.

And I've heard it all before, and I know that there is no sense in worrying about something that isn't diagnosed and how that is gonna seem so so silly when I find out what it really is etc, 

But unfortunately that thought is drowned out by the anxiousness that is my brain. 


I think I just need some reassurance if anyone can offer some. 

Links to articles that show how uncommon this would be fora 26year old F. 
I also follow vegan plant based diet and have fora out 3-4 years now with my husband. 

Also if anyone has had this endoscopy procedure and they can share their experience and diagnosis that would be appreciated 

Thank you