TW : mentions of suicide and self harm 


Guys I cannot hold a job. Judge me laugh at me I dont care. I know there's someone out there like me please help. I am 24 and have had 29 jobs in my life. Some I have quit before showing up, some after a few months, some after a few hours. Well for the first time in 2 years I got a job. I start on saturday at 10am and ots part time in a deli. I cant do it. I am plagued with thoughts of horrible things like self harm to get rid of the mental pain, or even suicide to avoid ever working again. 

I am so useless, I cant help anyone not even myself. I cry at jobs. I get lost in my head. It's literally hell. I dont know what to do. 

This post probably makes no sense as I am mid panic attack. 
Please help.
What do I do