So I just went to my first college career fair, as everyone keeps telling me I need an internship to graduate and eventually get a job. I like the school work for my major, I find it challenging and interesting. I have some of the best grades of my classes.

But when I entered the career fair ... I felt this exstistential dread wash over me as I saw everyone there and all the companies. I don't really know why ... I think it's cause it all felt like a giant rat race and it seemed depressing that I was working so hard and being so anxious just to end up a pawn of the corporate world. A part of me also just wants things to return to the way they were ... Be a kid again ... Y'know? 

Idk ... I just feel so overwhelmed rn. Feels like my life is leading to nothingness ... Yet idk what I want my life to lead to. I'm just depressed rn, and I got job interviews tomorrow and if I get an offer I have 24 hours to make a decision ... I don't wanna move away from my family for 6 months and isolate myself from the world. Ugh I just feel awful