I got a life I don't want, a body I don't want , I don't get laid, I got no money, my job is shitty, feels like the best is all behind me, when I think about being a little boy I get so fucking sad man and yet then I self loathe cuz it's UNMANLY to be emotional n guys say to me basically I'm weak if I can't "handle something" and yet it's this widening of the split in my fractured identity that is gonna destroy me because stress lack of intimacy and being so traumatized and triggered are a recipe for death