i’ve been married almost 5 years (including dating, we’ve been together 9 years) &amp; recently my husband said he wants an open marriage. he says he doesn’t believe in monogamy anymore. i do appreciate the fact that he was honest, but i also believe it’s a little late. i don’t want an open marriage. i’m so sad idk what to do. i know im not the only person to go through a divorce/breakup but it feels like i can’t breathe. i haven’t eaten in 3 days, my head hurts so bad &amp; i honestly just want to unalive myself. i don’t have much to look forward to in life tbh. this isn’t a sympathy plea i just need to tell somebody. im so fuckin embarrassed to tell my family, i can’t tell my friends &amp; i feel so weak for letting this affect me like this. it comes on top of everything already going wrong in my life &amp; i don’t see a light at the end anymore. i keep telling myself everything will be better a month or 2 from now but i know it won’t. i’m just so tired of being fcked over by everybody. 

thank you for letting me vent.