For me, reflecting on the good that's happened despite this crappy illness is really important. Figured I'd share with you guys what I've been doing to survive:

- decided to restart therapy again before I got too bad and managed to work through some more big issues. 
- finally managed to quit intense medications that were hindering my health even though I was scared of my mind without some sort of "aid"
- created a chat specifically for BPD when I couldn't find a place to find support, giving not only myself but a lot of others a community of like minded individuals. 
- took time to work on the my communication skills with important relationships to prevent them from deteriorating like I usually let happen. 
- started working through DBT therapy workbooks to enhance my self care regime that has been lacking
- took the time to restart thinking about some hobbies that I've put off for years and decided I want to go back to school to better my future in the next year or two.

It been one hell of a year but the more time and effort I put into myself and my mental health the easier it gets.  Having this subreddit has been the best thing that's happened for me. If you read all the way through this props to you. Much love and peace to you all. Hugs xoxo. 