Ever since I was a child, I was abused. I've been to multiple homes and now i ended up living with my aunt. Its like some thing from a kids story, but there is only short, brief moments of happiness. The ending will be toxic, sour, and all around terrible for everyone and anyone involved.

Lately my aunt has been even more hostile, and I can't do anything right. I have depression, and even though I'm getting therapy, it doesnt help long term. It just makes things worse,because when I go through moms it's like this,I just want to talk to them, but then I remember er that theyre paid to care.
. I was assigned to clean my room. easy right?
I have hyper focus, so every time I try, I zone out, or start drawing. I've cleaned most of the shithole, but its still messy apparently. I've been living in messy situations my whole life. I cannot understand what's clean, and what's my version of clean. Of cojrse,my aunt has to take it to the expreme, yelling and insulting me.
I felt so demotivated, so I hurt myself, and then I fell asleep, just wanting to forget about eveything. My aunt burst Into my room, shouting at me through her stoma and calling me a lazy bitch. She confiscated all of my technology, so j can't even talk to my social worker, and now I have no outlet for my hyper focis, so now I've just been eating my skin, zoning ojt, and hurting myself.
I'm using a secret device now, and nobody to talk to. I'm scared to tell her about my ear Infection, an that I've been losing my hearing. I also have a letter for a rock climbing experience that needs to be signed but I'm tearing up just thinking about whay she will do. Its never anything vioent. It's just her dismissing everything I've went through, and being nasty toward me, and then telling everyone how much of a bad person I am.
Every time I try to defend myself she calls me cheeky, and rude, but she can never go a single god day without criticism aimed at me, on how I always get things out of my control wrong. Such as having sensory issues, and anxiety, and Infections that invade my ears and head.

I'm sorry if this seems all over the place, I can't concentrate, im just writing. I'm only 14, and before you meme the he'll out of me, please dont. This is not a joke. This is not an " im14andthisisdeep " moment. I want to die. I can't do this anymore. I don't even find joy in talking to my dog, or drawing. I have nothing and no-one.