so basically two days ago i found out that my abusive ex unblocked me on instagram, and to prevent myself from contacting him, i took 45mg of flurazepam. i woke up some hours later to my dad taking them away from me. i was angry, and desperate, so i cut all over my face and arms and covered my face with blood. my mom called an ambulance, where i asked for more benzos.

i told the doctor that visited me that i think i have untreated bpd, but he said (like everyone keeps saying) that it's not so important. why does everyone keep saying this? a diagnosis is not fundamental, but i have been giving medicines over medecines that do not work and my therapy in 3 years hasn't helped me in any of these breakdowns. having a diagnosis would help me choose the right treatment for me.

then he said that i would just need to wait for my next psychiatrist appointment (with a doctor that i told him doensnt even remember my name and doesn't know shit about me) and he just discarded me like that.

i have slits that go all the way up my arms and on my throat, i tried sedating myself with medicines and he just sends me home? i feel like i am not taken seriously.