Fuck....

What I wouldn't give for this to end... It seems like there is nothing more to life than this feeling. I cannot take the pain but I cannot kill myself for the sake of my friends and family.

Nobody in the world is there for me at the end of the day. Sleepless lonely drunken night after sleepless lonely drunken night. I am defective. 

I am in therapy but it will take a long time to see results, if any at all. 

I truly feel like there is no hope.