A friend of a year and a half and who I dated 4ish months ghosted me out of nowhere. She didn't break up with me, get in an argument or even say why, she just ghosted me 2 weeks ago and hasn't said a word. I don't understand. 2 years and I get nothing?

I know my drug use is part of why she doesn't want to be around me right now, but I wish I could get some closure. Tell me that.  Call me a fuck up or something atleast. My heart hurts so much losing her. It hurts. It feels like I got heart burn it hurts so much. I can't get sober cause it hurts. I have to stay high 24/7 or it hurts.