I’m talking to a guy that I get on with very very well when things are good. This is our second time talking this year because we fell out pretty bad the first time but as I said, when things are good they’re great. 

I recently noticed a recurring behavior of his and put two and two together that it’s splitting. When we hang out and everything is swell it’s like we’re perfect for each other, but whenever there’s a small tiff or tiny argument I become the worst person in the world to him which is followed by a lot of inappropriate things being said about me to his friends. Assumably because in his mind he’s ended things and sees no way of reconciliation.

He’s never been diagnosed with BPD, his doctor said he might be Bipolar but he doesn’t see anyone about it or buy into it. 

I want to bring up to him that I think he’s splitting on me and talk about what his triggers may be and how to prevent it from happening but I don’t know if he’s anywhere close to aware of it and if he’d be willing to have the conversation because he’s extremely anti-confrontation. I also want to assure him that despite his transgressions, I won’t abandon him but the hot and cold behavior is very hard to deal with considering the fact that I do have BPD. 

Any advice on different ways to approach this situation? All answers welcome.