i have severe health issues that do not match any existing illness, and because of the nature of their origin, many doctors refuse to acknowledge them as anything exceptional (however enough are on my side that i know that i'm not crazy). there's no treatment and no end in sight and the issues prohibit me from doing some of the only things in the world i actually enjoy. i can feel everything getting worse again, and if this is like last time, i might soon end up in an indescribably awful state and i literally can't do that again. so why should i keep going, honestly? i don't experience positive emotions anymore (anhedonia) and the best i can hope for is apathy. i have nothing to look forward to and see no real reason to do any of it. so please please please can someone give me some perspective/ hope on this because i am going insane