In comparison to my friends…I do this a bit more than I care to admit (never more than twice in the same month and never two consecutive months in a row - but I have normie friends who go MONTHS without calling out unless they wake up with the flu or something). 

Sometimes I just wake up and can’t push myself to muster through another day. Faking the energy to get through another 8 hours in the office. Faking that I can’t take the M-F 9-5 work cycle bc my moods are unpredictable and I should really be working part time but can’t afford to. 

Today I’m making pancakes and watching movies for my self care and I need to not feel guilty. Bc that will defeat the entire purpose. But I do. I feel like everyone will think how unreliable I am. My colleagues will have to pick up my slack today. I need to take care of me so I can be there tomorrow. Sometimes I feel bad I seem to need extra “care” than everyone else. I can’t seem to just push through working full time and dealing with the little free time I have left after chores to do the things I enjoy. It’s not enough. I hate the 40 hour work week hamster wheel and am sad I probably won’t see a change in my lifetime. 

It’s extra hard for me to live a normal life and some days I just burn out from trying so hard.