i know self diagnosing isn't good.   but i'm not even diagnosed with BPD because I can't properly convey my feelings to my therapist who isn't convinced since im always so cordial and seemingly normal with her--minus other things like anxiety and avoidance and depression, and numbness.    


but then i read about this shit, which im not encouraging you to do (ok i guess i kinda am hoping others are like me, or maybe i just want them to feel my pain, or just feel pain? i dont know, definitely overthinking it).     


fuck.     


on a totally different note, being transgender and seeing other trans people (and cis people) get to go through the right puberty without the wrong puberty is depressing on a whole other level of depressing.