Hi all,

I'm 40 with nothing to live for.

I live with my parents, I have never had a girlfriend and no intention to, I have had sex but never really enjoyed it.

I have never really been liked by anyone because I don't really talk and i'm aloof and rude without meaning to and feel like everything is scripted and I just don't have it.

I can't hold down a job because I am too nervous to talk and express myself and make too many careless mistakes. I have burned every bridge and I think I am blacklisted from many agencies so I will problys never work again.

I have had an alcohol problem since I was early 20's and experimented with many drugs to fill the void.

Has anyone had a worser life? How do you find the will to carry on?