Depression


I see know why people say they’ve “battled” depression

It’s a fucking monster 

Not in the ways that you’d think, though

It’s not a quick, obvious battle like what you’d see in boxing 

Leaving visible cuts and bruises 

It’s an invisible menace 

A virus 

A cancer

Slowly taking over your soul

Without anyone noticing 

Not even yourself 

Suddenly, you’ve morphed into another being

On the inside 

Not the outside 

From the outside looking in, it’s easy to camouflage 

“I’m just tired”

“I’ve been feeling overwhelmed” 

“I’m feeling a bit anxious”

I wish it could be all of those things.

But it’s not.

It’s worse.

Imagine your beautiful, pure and unique self 

Feeling purpose and drive 

Then for no reason,

this slinky, sneaky, invisible fog wraps around your ankles 

It starts slowing you down 

Replaces what you enjoy and love 

With nothing but emptiness 

Oh yeah, and this fog? 

It’s nothing short of lightweight.

It’s heavy.

So fucking heavy.

But invisible. No one can see it happening to you. You doubt yourself that it’s happening. 

There’s no way anyone can understand that this invisible fog is replacing all of the things you once loved.

Why? Because you can’t even try to begin to share it. You downplay it, even to yourself.

You deny this is happening to you, despite your diagnosis from your shrink.

You used to be so happy, this can’t be real life.

But every time you get close to escaping this cancerous vapor

It grabs your ankles for another match in the ring.