I'm 32. Literally have never wanted children as they disgust me and just... well, ew. The past couple years, though, I've really been thinking about it. I've kept it from my husband because, like I've said, always been very anti-kid from an EXTREMELY early age. Long story short, had a pregnancy scare the other day and pissed on 8 tests to rest my mind. All negative except one but was reassured I'm not. Decided to actually talk to my Hubbers about it today, especially after seeing the full fledged fucking excitement on his face... then the overwhelming disappointment when we realised it was a false positive. I'm scared. I honestly dont think I'm made for this. I hate not knowing what I'm going to do or what's going to happen. I'm scared about EVERYTHING... and that means me thinking all the way up till this little shit, that's not even here at all, is in school!!!!! Gah! I dont wanna be like my mother. I'm so so so scared of that. The mom who's belittling, degrading, and regrets having you... then again, I dont want to regret not having children, even though I've never thought about it til recently. My heads a MESS. I want to, yet I dont and I'm afraid to wait and I'm afraid to act... ffs