So I was raped a few months ago.  It was probably my own fault because I met a couple of guys at a bar and went with them.  I just didn't expect it.  

I'm only 22 and I can't get over it.  Every time I close my eyes I relieve it.  The only way to sleep is drugs or alcohol until I become unconscious.  

I don't want to see a psychologist or anything, I can't face talking about it irl.  I don't want to live with this forever either.  I can't cope with this.