I'm just gonna come out and say it. Part of the reason I'm so depressed,  I think the people that were in my past were so good for me, but they weren't. They left for a reason and that reason was because they obviously had nothing to do with my journey other then a lesson. I can never seem to stop thinking about them and worrying and wondering and it drives me fucking crazy sometimes. I need to stop being so dependent on people. I need to stop worrying about other and worry about myself. But yet these thoughts of people who I should Essentially "leave in the past" I can never seem to do it. It's been years and I'm suffering because I feel I made a mistake but It was the others who are missing out on me. I just need some advice honestly. I obviously need counseling and a psychiatrist with medication. I plan on going in 11 days I have an appt. But how do I help myself, what do I do ? I picked up hobbies, got back into art for the most part. And I'm starting to learn piano. I'm doing things I LOVE AND WILL ENJOY. And make me a better person and I can find peace in these things.  I just need advice and help that's all.