So something weird happened to me this weekend. Usually my sex drive is normal or high when I'm with my boyfriend, I don't have issues getting turned on when I'm with him.. I have a history of arousal issues, but this was when I was not in a relationship..I was just not feeling it this weekend. It really sucked too since today was our one year anniversary of being together (July 17th).

I felt bad. He asked about sex multiple times this weekend, but I wasn't in the mood. I even tried to give him a blowjob but I wasn't enjoying it that much even though I love doing that. I wanted to though but I had to stop because it wasn't going to go anywhere

I was fine with him masturbating me but normally I get wet easy but I was dry today. I feel a bit ashamed that I was enjoying it but then not being able to give something back. I'm glad that he's understanding about it, I did want to have sex today but I wasn't going to force myself to do something my body wasn't in the mood for. He even said he didn't wanna force me to do anything that I didn't want to do.

Has anyone ever experienced this? I'm scared if I'm starting to have the same issues I used to with sex drive and arousal. Or if I'm heading towards a depressive episode (or mixed). Maybe I'm overthinking it though, but I am still worried. I sometimes feel like I'm still learning about how I function. I was diagnosed back in 2017 but I started really paying attention to myself late 2020.

I'm so used to wanting sex that I never thought there could be a break in the pattern where it isn't on my mind.