I’m 21 years old. When I was 13 I was hospitalized for severe self harm. My friends were scared for me, and came clean to my mom about the vivid stories I told about being raped by men in their 20s.

My mom, of course, was horrified. All of my stories mixed with my self harm ended up getting me hospitalized for 2 years.

At the time, I believed my stories. Now that I am an adult, I just never really thought about them.

But a friend brought it up to me the other day, and I felt instantly frozen. I wanted to say “Oh my gosh, I forgot I told everyone those lies.” But instead I brushed it off and changed the subject.

Even though I was a kid, I am still embarrassed and so ashamed for traumatizing my friends, and for not ever telling the truth, even now.

I truly don’t know why I made up those things.  It went on for years before my hospitalization. Even in the hospital, I continued the stories in therapy. I’ve never told anyone the truth.