To start with, my marriage is not currently in danger of ending, more so how I feel in the relationship is affecting my happiness and also I am sure the happiness of my spouse.

I have been diagnosed with depression for a couple of years and have been taking medication for it (it does usually help quite a bit). Lately though, my depression is getting the best of me. I have had nasty mood swings that don't seem to have any easy explanation. All I want to do most of the time is sleep or be completely isolated from people and I have been having destructive thoughts about my relationship with my spouse that are completely in my head (as in there hasn't been real life reasons for these thoughts to really exist).

I have been spending a lot of time isolating myself and not nearly enough quality time with my spouse. I really want to want to spend time with them, but I easily get moody when around them and I feel like being by myself most of the time.

I also have been having feelings toward the relationship that are 100% irrational and I want to understand why I am thinking this way. I have been having feelings that my whole relationship with my spouse is superficial, not because they don't show love or treat me good (they really do), but more so the mentality that all relationships are 100% superficial and that no-one really is in a relationship for anything but the most vain and selfish reasons. These feelings toward my relationship and relationships in general (I feel this way about other peoples' relationships as well) have been creeping into my brain and I think they are being destructive on my own mood and thought process in my own life.

Another big problem I have been struggling with is that my spouse is usually very patient with my and my depression, but they really don't understand or empathize with it. They can't understand what it feels like to be depressed and they take a lot of my isolating and moods much too personally. I am not sure how to explain this in a way that can help them understand it is about me and not them (I have tried, but I am obviously not succeeding in that area).

When I was diagnosed a couple of years ago and prescribed medication for my depression by my doctor, I asked if I should also see a therapist for it. My doctor told me that therapy will most likely help little since my depression can't be easily linked to some kind of life event (before I was diagnosed I had been struggling with the effects of depression for years).

I could use some advice on two things.

1. How do I help my spouse understand what I am going through?
2. How do I deal with my own destructive thoughts about all of my relationships feeling fake? Especially my marriage.