I find myself wondering how to even move forward from here. I can't find a decent job, I am out of shape, i can hardly focus on my college classes and am considering dropping out (again). I just feel like an absolute waste of space and I can't seem to do anything with my life. As much as it would hurt my family I think I would do good by them to end it all. At this point I'm just a burden. After the emotional pain wears off they would be fine. Yet I'm too cowardly and stupid to even try. If only assisted suicide was legal here. I just wish I saw even a bit of hope for myself but I'm sinking back into my depression just like many years before. Nothing to look forward to, every progress so small it doesn't matter or I backslide anyways.