Fuck this shit. I really thought I was 'done' with this. I've been severely depressed and was diagnosed with BPD a few years ago. Been through therapy, admitted to a psych ward, self-harmed, suicidal, was on anti-depressants etc. Accrued massive student debts because I was going to kill myself anyways, so "who cares about debt." 

And then after a few years of pure misery.. magically, I started feeling better. I started functioning again..? Got out of bed and finished uni. I still don't know what caused it, since I was hardly a few months on anti-depressants and can't say I had a great experience with DBT. But fuck it, I pulled myself out of the grave I was digging, and started living again. 

I managed to get a masters degree, working on a second, have a fairly successful career at 27, saved up a bit of money to tackle the debt, handful of friends, a lovely boyfriend.. I thought my BPD and depression hell was over, as I had been relatively stable for more than a year. 

Welp. NOPE. I can feel it brewing again. The splitting is back, the mood swings are insane. I've already begun alienating people. Had emotional breakdowns in the bathroom at work. It's taking all my energy to not fuck everything up again. I had my life figured out and now it's slipping from my hands like sand. I thought I was done with this shit, please someone tell me I don't have to go through everything again. :(

Would really appreciate a kind word or two. Or insights from anyone who has experienced relapse. Thanks guys. 

edit: seriously though, does this shit ever end?!?!