(Mentions suicide of a loved one)

 I have no one. I feel really off and idk if it’s anxiety or not. I used to constantly worry about my health but now I don’t care. I’m just so tired. I cant feel my emotions unless it’s sadness. I used to sit and worry about everything and now my mind just feels blank. I cant stop thinking about death. It’s on my mind all the time. I just don’t feel like me. I’m not happy and i’m just out of it. I’m not having fun ever. I don’t know what’s wrong. it doesn’t feel like anxiety but at the same time i’m having such a hard time describing how I feel idk what anything is anymore. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone because I have no idea what i’m even feeling. I just feel so disconnected from myself. like my dad killed himself when I was 11 and when I think about it I just feel nothing (even tho I do really miss him). this is terrible.