I wish I knew what we were dealing with it at least what to do about it. If anyone has had any experience with a mental illness this bizarre I would love insight into what it is, how to treat it, and how to cope having a loved one with this illness.


Long story.


About two and a half years ago, when we were in the process of moving, my wife and I found a suicide note stuffed in the bottom of a drawer of a dresser. No idea exactly when it was written. We confronted my daughter about it and she matter-of-factly told us that she wanted to die and actually had a plan involving pills. She'd never shown even a hint of depression prior to this, but she had a friend in Snapchat who was suicidal around that time. She was hospitalized for about a week, placed on antidepressants, and started therapy, and stated seeing a psychiactric NP. In total, she had been hospitalized four times. Three for thoughts of suicide, and one for a dissociative episode where she told us she was a different person. Over the last couple years she has started to develop more and more bizarre symptoms. She started saying she had voices in her head, and they had names, and she was able to describe their physical appearance. She had a younger version of herself in her head that just sat in the corner and cried. She claimed her"best friend" committed suicide on a video call with her two years prior, but couldn't remember her name. She started telling her psych NP that she had obsessive rituals which nobody at home ever witnessed until we said that we had never witnessed then, and then she'd display the behavior very blatantly for a day or two. Claimed she had the same identical horrific nightmare where everyone dies a gruesome death every single night for years.  She said she kicked a teenager's teeth in when she was 7. She started calling home to leave school on a nearly daily basis for various complaints including chest pain, "passing out" (never witnessed), "my legs don't work", panic attacks, and so on. We feared that she would be held back so we stopped coming to the rescue. The school called and said she was in the office all day goofing off and they couldn't accommodate this. She started using alcohol, smoking cigarettes, smoking pot, and she crushed and snorted a Norco. Acted like it was no big deal, that we already knew about it, and were overreacting. When we tried to talk to her, she started shutting down, and would like put her head down and stick her fingers in her ears, and also threatened and attempted to run away. We discovered she had been sneaking out after midnight to have sex with her boyfriend multiple times.


After the most recent hospitalization she claimed she had smoked pot at age 8 when a man behind the house randomly gave her a joint to smoke. Every professional we spoke to all independently suggested residential care. While on the waiting list, she got arrested with two of her friends for shoplifting from three different stores in one day. Though we talked to her and she definitely was part of the heist, whether she had the sticky fingers or not, she's just mad that we "got her arrested." The final bizarre thing that happened was last week when she said, out of the blue, that she wanted to stop all her meds and birth control and wanted to have a baby, so that someone at home would love her. When we did finally get an opening, we told her (thinking it was more humane to give a heads up than try to deceive her) she ran away to love in a tent in her boyfriend's back yard.


At the hospital she's doing the "I'm fine, nobody knows why I'm here, I'm not getting any therapy" thing. She removed her birth control patch and lied over three phone saying she had it on. Later it had reappeared and was obviously crumpled and spread back out. (She used to be on the depo shot, but had suddenly been refusing)


It's utter madness. I just can't express how crazy this all has made me feel. There's obviously something wrong, but it blows my mind that her psych NP and the therapist she's been with for over two years were so unhelpful. The therapist was completely blindsided every time she was put in the hospital and apparently they talked mostly about normal stuff and voices never came up. The psych was adding and adding meds and upping doses and nothing seemed to do ANYTHING, though she was on so so much and was definitely watched taking them all daily.


Lost and directionless, we are only now finding help for ourselves realizing this is much worse than we thought and completely beyond our control.


Has anyone else dealt with a mental illness this bizarre? Any insights? We already joined NAMI, and started our own therapy. We're watching our son (5) for how this may affect him.

Tldr; I just realized how serious my daughter's mental illness is and I'd like help.