My grandma and I always had a very close relationship and I would spend Saturday and Sunday’s at her house just talking about anything and everything and making food watching sports/movies, looking at coins you name it until one day my uncle that lived with her decided to sexually assault a family member, I stopped going to see her and also stopped talking to her  for months because of the situation and because she allowed him to keep living there and then one day she fell and broke her hip and I called her a couple times but never went to go visit her or anything when she was in the hospital because I did not want to see my uncle or my aunts who were supporting my uncle and defending him. My whole family is telling me to talk to her and go visit but me being upset and not wanting to see any of them doesn’t listen so fast forward to Easter  I had the chance to go visit but didn’t visit and the very next day I’m at work and I get a call from my dad telling me to go see my nana because she’s in hospice and I go show up and she is on medication and I had a conversation with her and she looked very happy to see me and I talk to her tell her I love her and ask her to please fight and stay with us but she said I wish I could and after about 20 minutes she falls asleep and doesn’t wake up after that, two days later she passed away. I have never felt worse in my life then now especially knowing how the last 7 months have gone and all of my missed chances to go and visit her. I would literally give up anything to just have one more Sunday with my nana I would give up all of my money, my car, anything in my possession to get those months back and see her atleast once. I have never felt worse in my entire life this is the worst I have ever felt knowing what has happened in the last seven months and I. Feel depressed and don’t know what to do