
I can’t help but feel like my partner is losing interest in me. We are maybe just coming out of the honey moon stage. We’ve had some disagreements and talked about our wants. He spends tonnes of his free time with me, always reply’s back, lets me stay over at his house whenever I want and order me food / meet my needs. It seemed clear really early on he wants me apart of his life long term and knows what he wants. He however has a lot more friends and a life than me. He also has a child so I know I will never be his priority. I am new to this city and since I met him he has became my world. He needs a lot more space then me, when I’m with him I constantly want to be physical wether it’s hugging or holding hands, sex etc. Some of the times recently my clinginess has been “overwhelming” and I see him wanting a bit of physical distance as rejection. Sometimes I’ll ask for a cuddle  when he’s not in the mood and he will say “not right now” and that he doesn’t like when things like affection feels forced. Sometimes my emotions just overwhelm me and I need that validation like a hug and can’t express the cause of my hurt. 

I can’t seem to shake this suspicion he’s hiding something from me. I have no reason to think he’s cheating. I just get the overwhelming sense something bad is going to happen. He tells me he loves me every day but lately it has been less. I can’t help but read into stuff like this. He has some of his own personal issues in his life and shuts off instead of communicating so I can also take a bad mood personally, like I am the problem. 

I hate living inside my brain with constant paranoia. I’m not so much like this in friendships at all. But I hate how my romantic interests can consume my whole mind. It’s like my expectations can’t be satisfied. He helps me in so many ways but I feel like some of my instability and childish ways will push him away.  When we are apart I’ve been trying to be slower with responses and not text first in an effort for him to text first so I can feel perused and needed again. I hate putting my emotions out there and I think was drawn in the beginning because he was putting in more work. Now I’m hooked and I don’t feel like I have the upper hand anymore and am scared to be hurt.