Recently went home for the first time in 2 years and it didn’t go well. Got harassed by an ex who said I was her FP. Both of us have BPD go figure. I got pissed and wanted to talk and the blame was put on me. At that point I broke a little and just shut off sympathy for anyone and anything. I returned to work overseas and I’ve been completely out of character with my attitude towards everything. I’ve been engaging in a lot of dangerous and erratic behavior to the point of a 5 day bender ending with waking up in the hospital with an IV from alcohol poisoning. First thought I had? “Where’s my vape?” I’m on the verge of flushing my meds. I’m trying so hard not to just let go and go back to being who I used to be and forgetting the progress I’ve made. I’m just so angry. I just feel violently angry and that’s not who I am. I’m starting to get a little worried. Anyone got any ideas on what’s happening?