tw // death anxiety, rumination desc.

woke up with immediate death anxiety and its a bit hard to beat today... the more i think about it the more convinced i become that something terrible will happen.

i've been doodling and putting on some youtube in the background and that helps somewhat, but man. i'm just so sad and frustrated... the physical sensation of anxiety, this negative giddiness and borderline dizziness is so hard to sit with bc it just reinforces that "uhohh something's wrong" (meanwhile i have felt this way hundreds of times before and have been okay. and my brain *knows* that. and yet.) – i wish there was a way to make it stop just out of sheer willpower or smth.

yeah. quite an unproductive post mainly intended to vent, but if you have any self-care measures or things you like to do on days like this, feel free to write it down.