So i’ve just made the connection that whenever i start getting into a serious relationship with a lover, my brain just goes on overdrive and throws me into a spiral of being super depressed and anxious and eventually i just leave the person because it’s just too much.

 It’s like getting close to someone is a huge trigger for episodes. At this point im pretty sure i have an avoidant attachement style because every time i get intimate with someone, i feel sick. But the thing is, im with someone really special right now and i want to overcome those fears, but i haven’t felt this bad in like two years. I’m back in therapy and thinking about going back on meds but im also conflicted about the amount of distress, love seems to be putting me though. (By the way my partner is super caring and supportive of my bipolar)

Anyone have thoughts on this, or has experienced something similar?