Extra credit: **What's your experience?**

Extra extra credit: I'm in my 30s and I'm just now (after much denial) seeking treatment for behavioral health. I am in therapy but not officially diagnosed. My symptoms match those described in Bipolar 2, but I work very hard to manage (and mask) them. I have, since my teens, obsessed over building strong discipline and intrapersonal skills in order to avoid forming any kind of significant emotional attachments. I believe this personal work has helped me avoid seeking care (for better or worse) and I'm looking forward to seeing how my life changes now that I'm openly addressing them. 

My self-work along with my symptoms have gotten significantly more difficult since getting married and having a child. I've compromised more than is healthy on my boundaries so I can continue to show up for those who depend on me. I have recently realized I owe it to them to seek treatment. However, it feels truly awful being in this in-between-place where my friends and family are skeptical about how hard I work to stay vigilant of my emotional state. I know I have (to some degree) brought this on myself by masking my symptoms -a remnant of an abusive past- but trying to reverse that has thus far felt like a lost cause. I know things will likely get better with treatment, but it's such a confusing time trying to hammer down what's what. Can anyone relate to that?

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