There are times when I'm making decisions or looking back on my choice of actions and almost don't believe it's me making the choice. Like I forget that there is severe trauma and a fragile mind set at play. I am generally a super empathetic and compassionate person until I have an episode out of no where.. The few that are close to me know that I am not a bad person and care deeply, but I don't think they understand just how easy it is for me to lose all sense of goodness and tear down any sense of redeeming self worth I have been building since the last episode..

Sorry if this doesn't make sense.. I communicate well until it comes to expressing my BPD. 

Hope everyone is staying well.