we broke up because she felt like she didnt want to be in a relationship anymore and it wasnt the same. we were together for almost 2 years. its weird because she still wants to be friends and kiss and have sex and literally everything in a relationship but like... not in a relationship.

i feel like i cant breathe and i cant survive. imagining her with someone else makes me feel like my heart and lungs have been ripped out im in so so so much pain. ive thought about killing myself so much i cant do this. i know shes like still in my life but its not the same and she said eventually if maybe she feels like we should move on she’ll see other people and the thought of that genuinely makes me want to cause harm to myself and to everything around me. im in so much mental and physical pain. i know i sound dramatic but oh my god. i cant do this im so fucking broken. im going to ruin everything in my life over this and i just want it to end. i want to give myself a fucking lobotomy i cant deal with this pain it is so so horrible. 

ive gone back and forth from absolutely despising her for doing this to me after she convinced me she’d never leave and never love anyone else. and then i go back to crying and wanting to kill myself because of how much i love her and how i’d do anything to have her back and my gf. its better that we still do relationship things but its not enough to think that she’ll do stuff with someone else too if she wants to. this is tearing me apart. im so sorry if i sound insane and clingy and so dramatic but holy fuck im in so much pain