I feel like this post fits the best in this subreddit, mainly because I've struggled with diagnosed SAD for a long time, and was wondering if any other anxiety-sufferers have gone through similar experiences. Idk if this helps, but I'm a 21M.

None of my previous relationships ended really "messy" per-say. I could talk to any of them now, and I'd consider them my friend. But in all but one of them, the other party ended things. In one event particular, and my last relationship, my girlfriend ended things because she felt bad that I loved her, and she didn't feel the same way back. I think this event in particular was especially scarring for me.

Essentially the way all of my previous relationships/flings have ended, have culminated in me in having a  low view of myself. Sometimes I feel as though once someone gets to know me they'll realize they don't like me, and leave. I know I should look at situations like that like: "Oh there's nothing wrong with you, they just weren't interested in you", but sometimes I can't help but conjure a self-loathing view of myself. It can either be based on my personality, or my appearance. 

I feel like I'm a likable person, who's also attractive. But when I start engaging with someone who I am attracted to now, I can't help but have doubtful thoughts, and I the thought "They don't want you, they want someone who's more muscular/confident/successful/etc.." enters my mind.

I have a date this Sunday in which I'm meeting up with a girl who goes to my college. For the most part I'm super excited, but I've had some anxiety. She's someone who does a lot of lifting, so she's pretty strong and muscular. I only really got into working out about a year ago, so I'm still quite slim, and this conception of her not wanting me because I'm not big enough has been creeping into my mind. I know, it's really stupid lol, but felt like if any community would understand it would be you guys.

Anyways, I hope this wasn't too long of a read and I hope you guys are all doing well :)