I have very few friends because in my past they did nothing but cause me stress, but I did keep my friendship with this one girl from high school. She’s really funny and can be lots of fun to be around. However, lately i’ve felt like i’ve been taken advantage of by her because of my niceness. She always is telling me how she tells all of her friends how amazing I am and how I would do ANYTHING for her (which I think is a pretty big assumption, although I am very supportive). Since she thinks this, she asks me for help for many things. She doesn’t have a great family life so I like to help her out if she needs it. However, lately it’s been getting overboard. 

We’re in college and a couple months ago she was kicked out of her abusive household. She needed to find a place to stay but i am a huge introvert so I knew my comfort would be thrown away if i let her move in. She tried to guilt me into it a few times but instead of giving in for the sake of my mental health, I instead helped her as much as I could in her search for apartments. She had no roommate, which she desperately needed for help with the rent. I found an old friend of mine who she also knew. She was Also looking for an apartment. I set up the whole situation for them, found them a good university apartment complex, and I was so glad because my friend was finally happy and had a plan! 

Just recently she started to move in. She didn’t have a lot of help so I decided to help her out. One night she told me she needed help the next day moving in. I said I will check if I can, then offered to help her that very night when she told me she had to be out of her house that night with all her stuff. 
So I went over to her house and helped her move out her whole room in one night. After 7 Long hours she slept over. It was a long night but I offered and was happy she got out in time without another fight with her mother. 

The next evening she asked me for help again. She told me she needed me to clean her apartment while she gets the rest of her stuff from her house. I had a very long day and was quite exhausted, but I ended up pushing myself to help her. At this point I showed up to her apartment ready to help her, then she left me waiting in the parking lot with no response for 50 minutes. Eventually she came and got me and brought me to her apartment. When I got there she had no cleaning supplies and the only thing we had was my bathroom spray she told me to bring over. She then left me to get the rest of her stuff while I cleaned. She brought no paper towels for me which I thought was weird ( Telling me to clean but to bring my own cleaning supplies??) So I then proceeded to wipe down all her surfaces with my bathroom spray and toilet paper I found. While I was doing this she texts me telling me her mattress has a tear in it and she needs me to change her mattress with one of the other room’s mattress. I’m thinking “What am I the hulk?” I’m already busy cleaning up her place but now she asks this. Then she calls me five minutes later telling me to also start unpacking the car to save time. 

I’m getting all these requests while i’m on my hands and knees scrubbing things with toilet paper! I thought this was ridiculous also because I voluntarily helped her for 7 hours the night before until 2 am. 

Eventually she came back with all her stuff, I didn’t end up saying anything about all her requests to her and found an excuse to leave because it wasn’t my job to do all these things for her. 

I left that night and had a good, relaxing night alone. 

THEN the NEXT morning at 6 am I get a text. She texted me saying she needed me to bring my plunger over because her toilet wasn’t flushing and she also told me she got the wrong size mattress topper and bedding and she needed me to go to Target and find the full size one. 
I’m shocked at this point because she is asking sooo much from me now! I have my own apartment to clean and to maintain but she’s asking all these requests from me! 

Anyways, I had plans with my family that day so I told her I couldn’t and she said okay. 

THEN later that night, after the long day I had with my family, she texts me screenshots of her mom saying she wants nothing to do with her anymore now that she’s moved out. She then asked me if i can sleepover.  I was exhausted so I couldn’t do that, but I offered to come over for a couple hours to hangout. 

I felt very empathetic towards her and her situation and felt so bad. She had asked a lot from me the past couple days but I knew she needed some emotional help. 

So that night I go back over to her apartment thinking I’m going to talk to her a little, calm her down, get some pizza for us, watch some tv, then leave. 

I show up and she’s running around her apartment unpacking and cleaning. I expected that when I showed up she would take a break since she invited me over. She didn’t. I told her that she should rest. I told her it’s officially her apartment and she lives there for good so no need to rush unpacking everything in one night (especially the night you invited a friend over....) . She then proceeds to tell me that she needs to do it all tonight and that “WE’RE going to clean.” 

I’m thinking “I came over here to help you relax  and hangout, but now you’ve manipulated me back here the same day I declined to run those errands, convincing me I was coming to hangout, then having me clean again! I tried to show her I wasn’t there to clean by sitting down and trying to start a conversation but as we are talking she starts telling me to help her with a bunch of things. I was so annoyed at this point because I was just trying to be a good friend and now I was cleaning again. 

I eventually told her in a polite joking way that I didn’t come to clean and that I was going to head home. She seemed so confused which kind of bothered me because she didn’t understand how crazy it was to guilt me back to her place to help her unpack and clean. 


Anyways, I left that night and now today she is texting me asking me to come over because she’s having emotional problems with her mom again. 

I’m really bothered because I’m not her therapist and I cannot take the place of her mother. I can’t do all these things she wants me to do because I have my own life and i’m living on my own too. 
She has been asking a lot from me lately and it seems like she is taking an advantage of that niceness she always tells other people I have. 

Should I take a big tolerance break from her? 
Should I confront her if she does it again?
I’m not sure what to do but i’m really bothered by this. 

Thanks for reading!