For years I battled with my mind in desperation to try and be happy, but after so much fighting I’m tired. The truth is that, while it’s not ideal, I’ve been living with this. I don’t aspire to much in life and my expectations are as low as possible, but I’m getting by. 

In the same way someone might adjust to losing their sight or hearing, I feel that I’ve adjusted to life without feeling truly happy. I can still have little moments of laughter and satisfaction now and then, but I never feel any long-term fulfillment. I’m just living for those little moments now. 

I’m not sure if that’ll work in the long run, but I think it’s worth a gamble to keep going further and see where things go from here.