I hate that I'm so clingy. I hate that every time my fiance doesn't answer me for a few minutes, or sees my message and doesn't answer, my BPD goes haywire. I go through a whole array of abandonment thoughts and freak out on him. It puts so much stress on him. He just had to step away for a bit because he's already dealing with a lot of stress from work and the added stress of me "waiting to get a message from him". I feel so stupid. I wish I wasn't like this. I was doing schoolwork but now I can't help but blame myself for everything.