I was supposed to go back on my meds yesterday and check back in with my doctor this Friday.

I was supposedly manic and possibly delusional, and thus everyone's big worry was that I would have some massive crash and end up back in the hospital... But I am definitely not manic now (exhausted) but I am not depressed.  No crash.  

I am having a really, really hard time convincing myself to go back on the medication.  I am having trouble trusting my mental health team... Though I do trust them far, far more than any other mental health professionals.