(I don't have diagnosed BPD and I'm not trying to self diagnose. I just thought this would fit here.)

I met this girl a while ago. We aren't friends per se, we're just roleplay partners. Thing is for some reason I get really, really attached to roleplaying. To an unhealthy extent. I use it as an escaping mechanism, and just do it with random people. Every so often I find someone and roleplay with them and only with them. This is the case. 

I have been roleplaying with this girl for more than a month now. We've been doing it almost everyday, unless when she's too busy, or I am. We never go more than two days without talking. It's my favorite part of the day. But lately I've been getting paranoid about her not liking it as much as I do. 

I wait for her to text first, but I'm always too afraid she's not going to (I did it the other day and she didn't, so I texted first the next day). Right now I'm doing it again. I know she's not going to text, probably, and I'm kind of sad. I feel so damn annoying. Maybe I should just let it be, and start roleplaying less often, but I have this paranoia that we're going to stop talking. I know we will, eventually. But not now. She's never refused roleplaying when I asked first, sometimes she'd just say "I'm busy, I'll get back to you later", and then she does. Or sometimes she straight up doesn't answer and I wake up to a text sent very late in the night (different time zones) saying "sorry I was very busy, I guess you're asleep, we'll talk tomorrow". I mean, if she really disliked me, she would put some poor excuse not to do it, right? Or straight up stop answering, or something? Maybe she just likes it for me to text first? I'm so paranoid. And I know it's probably nothing. I feel so stupid. Like I'm just annoying her and that's why she won't text first. I'm losing my mind over a stupid roleplay and she's probably just busy. I feel plain dumb.