Is it possible for an abusive partner to be a good friend to others while treating you like shit and giving you all their worse sides? Is this more possible if they have a history of abuse and so their worst sides come out with romantic undertakings? My therapist is so empathetic and understanding and doesnt see good or bad but just certain coping mechanisms in people..which I am struggling to accept as the truth because I am still so hurt. 

I can't reconcile how likeable and popular some of my past lovers have been while being total assholes to me. 