When I see a commercial poster on the wall about creating success through buying their Greek yogurt, it sometimes feels like the poster is talking directly into me. However, I know this is not the case — with just $5.40 in my bank account, that poster wasn’t really made for me. My measly 3 yogurt budget won’t even keep their janitor on payroll for an hour. I’m not a success, and I don’t really have as much talent as I thought I did. Maybe it’s a step into maturity admitting that, but it’s not quite the silver lining in life that I was hoping for.

 I don’t want to give off the wrong outlook, I’m not completely hopeless — but I am feeling depression creeping up once again. It comes when I forget what day of the week it is; When I don’t understand why I keep indulging in my addictions; Why I can’t just focus on my school work ; When I have no inspiration; When I look out the window and desire a wholeness.

I create the illusion that life is just a film I’m living in. Eventually, I’ll hit the problems that lead into my success. Until then, I’m just in my apartment, with a roommate I used to be more fond of.


Just needed to vent a little, I don’t really know what I expect to come of this. But I don’t really have anyone in my life that I’m willing to tell this to. Thank you if you read this long. Let me know how you guys feel about those oddly existential posters lol.