So, I quit my 300mg of bupropion a few months ago and apparently I'm hard to be around because I sound irritated or sound totally monotone.

Sometimes I'm not even irritated, just trying to talk. I make others upset though so I hide in my room and try to not talk.

I'm 17F recovering from brain cancer and surgery so I cant do very much and I have a rough past so its not just an imbalance in my brain. 

I have tried different medications, different doses, and it ends up with ne being bipolar af, easily irritated, entirely numb, suicidal, hurting myself, or believing nothing exists and I can't escape some...dream/simulation.

So I stopped taking medications and I feel better than when I was taking them but lost motivation and im being told to talk them against my will.

I need help, what do I do, what would you do, comments, anything. Please.