i’ve recently gotten onto a good mix of medication from my new psychiatrist that i’ve noticed has been making me feel really happy. this is amazing, except for the fact that when i notice i’m really happy i feel like it’s not real or i shouldn’t be? i can’t tell if realising i’m finally becoming happy is causing me to self destruct and ruin my mood, or if i’m too aware of my mental illness, or if i deep down feel like i don’t deserve happiness and to get better.