Hello Fellas,

Since the normal life reopened after Covid, I feel quite often overwhelmed under physical attention. Unfortunately, that especially counts for being around friends or other companionship about which someone really cares. For example, I think I behave more normal under strangers. Speaking is not my problem and my general character is still a rascal. I just start to feel clumsy and think a lot about failing when I am about to do physical tasks. For example I started trembling in daily life situations. In general, I just feel like Thumper being trapped in the body of the scared Bambi.  
So I started guided meditations and reading books. However, I realised that most passages never exactly deal with my problem. Only by a few passages I feel addressed and they make me feel good. So I collected the best aspects and wrote and recorded a personalized meditation that is exactly dealing with my own struggle. I knew it would be weird to listen to myself speaking good to me. However, getting aware of this absurd situation during the meditation isn’t that bad. The realisation just makes you smile for a moment before you focus again. And I think smiling is never bad. Moreover, when the direction of my anxious problems changes I just adjust the audiofile. Is this a common teached practise? I thought it might be self-brainwashing but I prefer this positive one above the irrational self-doubts and pessimism.  
The second one also felt a bit strange to practise in the beginning, but it's also quite easy to take it with humor. Like I said, my major problem is having faith in physical actions. So when I realise tension arises (example before filling little shot glasses under attention), I try to act like movie figures that symbolize confidence and self control like James Bond, Thomas Shelby and so on… Maybe this is a change to someone you don't really are. But it definitely feels better than feeling handicapped by anxiety and fear.  
Do you do similar stuff or is it even teached by professionals? At the moment I don’t have the possibility to get help from an expert so I try to bring myself back on the track.  
Lol I also realised maybe I watched to much movies during lockdown :D