for some reason, even though im consantly thinking about killing myself, how i should kill myself, how fucking worthless i am, and that kinda stuff, i never cry. my life just feels empty, i have no real friends, no hobbies, no interests, im not good at anything, im ugly, im getting bad grades at school, and when im home, i just sit behind my garbage pc watching yt, seeing how happy other people are. today i skipped a class because apparently the class already started, and it was too emberrassing to walk in. also i do have 1 ''friend'' but all he does is talk about himself, when i tell him something i did, for example i got a good grade for once, he immediately is like ''well i got a better grade'', and when somebody is bullying/annoying me, he always joins them. but i dont want to stop being friends with him cuz ill have to always sit alone, and that'd be emberrassing. i also have 2 more ''friends'', but they just pity me and make fun of me. i also have no motivation to do anything at all. dont try telling me to tell someone, cuz thats emberrassing asf, especially because my dad always jokes about suicidal people. if i died, everyone would be happier after a few weeks.