I’m completely lost. I don’t know how to go forward from here. My anxiety has been a constant in my life for as long as I can remember. I didn’t know that’s what it was when I was younger but I now know that I’ve always dealt with it. It has made me question everything in my life and I’m once again back where I started.

The most troubling part of it for me is that I’ve basically been in the same place mentally for 6 years. I’ve been worse than this before but I’m at the same level as when I started going to therapy and trying meds. I might even be more lost now than back then. I don’t know who I am or what I want or what to do. And when I say that I mean that. Seriously, I’m lost. And nobody seems to understand that.

“Nobody really knows what they’re doing. We’re all trying to figure it out and find ourselves.” Yes I understand... but I have literally no foundation for understanding myself in order to build and grow. My lease is up in a few months and I have no idea where to go from here. I can’t decide. There’s too many options and too many reasons for and against each. I can’t handle life. It’s too much. There’s too many things I have to do and worry about and I’m so fucking sick of it.

I just want to feel comfortable living my life. I want to enjoy doing things. I can’t handle the constant anxiety that nags me throughout my days. I want to move forward and live and be happy and share things with the world. It’s not all bad. The world has so much beauty and possibilities but my mind doesn’t allow me to see it most of the time. It skews my perception towards negativity and hopelessness. I feel helpless against it.

Any advice would be greatly welcomed. I just want to live man.