I've been living my whole life like a walking dead.
But lately I realized that I can't go on any further. 
I'm ugly, an ugly mose, I've never feel comfortable in my body, I'm stupid and insecure about everything, I live in my world trying not to think about my shitty life...I'm a woman so being ugly is even worse. I hate mirrors and photos of me.
I suffer from social anxiety and I don't even know who I am.  
I can't afford plastic surgery, I work in a factory atm until my contract expires. Event at work I heard people "behind" my back commenting that I look better with the mask on...
Never fallen in love. How could I? Have no friend and I don't feel comfortable enough to have a normal relationship with other people.
Recently a man at work throw himself off a bridge and I can't stop thinking about it.
I wish it was me.
My life is not a life and I must find the courage to end this never ending suffering.
I saw a therapist a year ago, took medicine... But it was just a momentary solution. The problem is in my head. Why live like this.