Since I struggle with many problems that are commonly discussed in this subreddit, I thought I would share some of my coping mechanisms. While this post is about board games and social events, I intend to write more about other things in future.

I have been playing board games almost every other week since few months and it has helped me in many ways. I am really convinced that it works well in making by mood better, even if it does so temporarily. I used to hate such temporary tricks because what’s the point of doing something if we go back to the hell again anyways? In order to explain what changed my mind, let me show you a short dialogue from one of the GoT episodes:

&gt;VARYS: So it’s safe to say that a fragile peace has taken hold.  
&gt;  
&gt;GREY WORM: For now.  
&gt;  
&gt;VARYS: For now is the best we get in our profession.  
&gt;  
&gt;TYRION: It’s not enough.

In short, I used be the “not enough” guy but now I agree with Lord Varys. In our profession of resisting BPD, “for now” is the best we can get most of the time. If we are happy and peaceful even for a short while, it is a win. Not because we are supposed to be "happy" like other people around us. But because the more we stay away from the habitual self-loathing, feeling inadequate and emptiness etc., the closer we are to getting out of such harmful habits and behavioral patterns.

There are few reasons that I think playing board games (and similar events) is a really good activity, especially for those with social anxiety and BPD.

* It helps with anxiety of meeting new people as one can talk as much or little as they want, since the main activity is playing games.
* In my experience, other kinds of social groups feel very awkward if you are not outgoing. In case of board games, it is not really required to make small talk or pretend to be a super-friendly or joyful person. To some degree, it feels like ["midding"](http://www.dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com/post/174141113510/midding), an amusing word that describes:

&gt;feeling the tranquil pleasure of being near a gathering but not quite in it—hovering on the perimeter of a campfire, chatting outside a party while others dance inside, resting your head in the backseat of a car listening to your friends chatting up front—feeling blissfully invisible yet still fully included, safe in the knowledge that everyone is together and everyone is okay, with all the thrill of being there without the burden of having to be.

* Thinking, making strategies etc makes our brain do something different and is a good distraction.
* Especially for BPDs, board games in general, and social deduction/bluffing games in particular, allow certain kinds of interactions with people, giving some sense of control, that would otherwise be very difficult to have. For example, in some games you can bluff, lie, manipulate others, make humorous comments, etc. without bad consequences like guilt or broken relationships which are a concern in real life.

Finally, we can control the dose of social interactions as we can just play games and go home, or choose to get involved with people gradually. Why is it important to control the amount of social interactions? I think it is important because I, and perhaps many of you, face a paradox, a spiralling loop from which it is very difficult to get out. It goes something like this: I can’t have stable relationships because I need to fix myself first; but I can’t fix myself without a healing and stable relationship. So, when I was stuck into this kind of loop, I could not motivate myself to participate in any social events if I was depressed; or I would go with very high hopes under influence of mania, only to be disappointed when the reality revealed itself. After many ups and downs, it seemed to work for me, though not always, when I would go to the events with minimal expectations such as to just enjoy games and not to find another girl as a potential FP. :D