I tried everything, I talked to my close friends about how I feel and how I felt for the past 9 years, all they did is feel sorry for me ( I don't blame them but I expected to feel better from all the internet advice), I tried doing stuff: studying, watching shows, gaming, sports but everything feels like a drag like it doesn't lead anywhere, I had a relationship and I feel like my ex broke up with me because I was always this way, not happy, I dont even feel like suicide is a solution anymore, I am just trying to accept that I'm going to live in this endless pit of despair and it is hard especially when I'm lonely. I hope seeing all of this written down will make me procces things better.