I told him that it was fine and to have fun, and he read that pretty quickly. Texted him a few hours later and he hasn’t read it, so he’s probably asleep or doing something else. 

I don’t know what I’m feeling at this point. I’m mostly just numb again. I can’t even tell him more about what I’m feeling because I don’t want to ultimately drive him away. God, I hate this so much. 