As a teenager I would straighten my hair, put on makeup, shave everyday, and shower twice a day. I did this up until my 20s. I'm now 29. Maybe shave once a month. I haven't been to an actual salon in about four years. 

My disorder got worse after my mid 20s and I can barely bring myself to get dressed and work in the mornings let alone do my makeup. I got up today and felt so miserable but I just told myself don't think, just act and I blared Pandora as I got ready. I'm going to try dressing up today cause I usually just wear t shirts and leggings everyday.  It's helping my mood but it doesn't feel like "me". 

I lost 70 lbs the past year and the dysphoria is real. I was 370 but I'm almost 6' so I'm ALOT slimmer now. I noticed people started to treat me differently and it made me panic. Even when it comes to makeup and doing my hair I see how people treat me differently when I'm wearing it compared to not. I even get better tips and ratings at my job when I do.

I just hate that society is like this. Men can go days without showering and barely brush their hair and still get away with it but women must look "perfect". 

I swear I'm on the verge of a Britney spears moment and about to just shave my head cause I'm so tired of appearances mattering so much and my self esteem deteriorating cause of it.