Before I found out I have BPD, I felt like I was going crazy. It felt like I was always all over the place in my mind and I never knew how I really felt or what I wanted. I’m surprised I really even noticed because I’m someone who overlooks when something odd is happening to my body/mind. I kept telling my boyfriend something is wrong and I feel like I have no control. I never thought I was bipolar so I just skipped over that as an option because I didn’t believe I resonated with the symptoms. What I had was similar but never felt spot on to Bipolar 1&amp;2. When I was going to therapy I would always mention how I felt alone and like no one really understood what I was going through, but it’s hard to ask someone to understand when I really didn’t understand myself. I would get angry at small things at work towards my friend/coworker and not even realize I was splitting on her. Small things like the way someone would reply over text message or remembering things my boyfriend has done before we started dating would make me so angry. I would/still try and break up with him all the time. I would go from loving him so much and thinking “I can’t wait to marry him” to absolutely despising him because I would remember something that made me upset. Before I officially got diagnosed I always said I feel like a child. BPD makes me feel needy and childish. I can’t control when I switch but I also feel I don’t try and stop it when it happens. I’m aware what’s going on but I go with it and say I have BPD as an excuse for my actions.