So basically I have BPD &amp; unfortunately have been dealing with the “substance abuse” part of the disorder. I have been drinking alcohol in major excess lately, &amp; I go to a huge party school so it’s no something that is uncommon. Well I’ve been talking to this guy &amp; unfortunately last week drank so much that I peed the bed. If that isn’t bad enough, exactly 7 days later I drunkenly passed out on his couch AND DID IT AGAIN. It was dry by the time I woke up except a small spot on the blanket (like a 1/8th of it) but I could tell I did because the way it smelled. I’m so, so embarrassed &amp; since it was dry, i decided to not tell him about it &amp; just hope &amp; pray he didn’t use his blanket anytime soon. I know this makes me sound like a terrible, terrible person but I’ve already beat myself up about it enough. Im not even sure what I’m getting at I just needed to tell someone. I don’t want to live like this anymore. Drinking heavily is so common at my school &amp; I wish I knew how to control myself. Haven’t heard from the guy so I’m not sure if he found out or not. I hate myself so much. 