Life has been sucking a lot lately. I always try to encourage myself by saying, "there's light at the end of the tunnel." But I can't see the light. All my ambitions and dreams seem more and more unrealistic every day. If they don't work out then I'll probably end up with some horrible job I hate for the rest of my life. I'm getting farther and farther away every day in terms of just friendship with a girl I've had MASSIVE feelings for. Used to see her all the time and now fate separates us and I can't even hold a conversation with her. Just scrolling through my camera roll these days is enough to make me cry. It feels like all the good times are behind me and that the golden days are over. 
It feels like everything good or enjoyable that happens in my life now only lasts for a few seconds then it's back to just watching my life waste away in front of me. I feel meaningless and that I'll never make a difference. I don't know what to do. I saw a video on a different subreddit about how the past is increasing and the future is diminishing and I nearly had a panic attack. Things in my life are going horribly in terms of what I can control and what I can't. I'm just in an endless loop of dopamine and depression.