I’ve had the worst 2 years of my life. I lost my dad after watching him suffer from cancer. A relationship I was meant to marry the guy and have kids with ended because I wasn’t happy and I broke his heart- took a huge toll on how I felt about myself. Got into a new relationship and he manipulated, cheated, and lied to me and made me feel literally worthless and constantly not good enough and I still can’t shrug that feeling. Was in an extremely toxic work environment. Selling my house and living back to my mums, with no future or anything to look forward to. 
I’m aware I have it easier than a lot of people which I’m grateful for. 
But I feel so low and miserable. I cry every day, on the way home or in the shower. I say ‘I can’t do this anymore’ at least 3 times a day in my head or out loud. 
I don’t know if it’s my hormones or the weather but I haven’t felt this low since I was 16 (I’m now 25) but I cannot control my emotions and anger just about life and everything. I genuinely feel the only thing that makes me happy and I think of to get me out my dark thoughts is my dog. 
Anytime I drive I just want to swerve the car or not wake up when I go to sleep to just get rid of all the anxious thoughts, the paranoia I have over everything, the thought of not getting anywhere, not finding someone who loves me and makes me happy. 
I hate being in my own head. I have 2 good days then about 3/4 bad. I know that’s better than some people. But for me I’m struggling a lot with this and I don’t know what to do or how to handle my emotions better? I have no one I feel comfortable talking to this about. 
Sometimes just writing it out makes me feel better. 
I’m just exhausted with life, and everything that comes with it. I just want to be done with it.