Hi!! I don't know what to do anymore. I don't have any passion or career that i want to purse and i have been living with this pain in my chest since i was 8 years old. Sometimes i think about suicide but i don't have the courage to do it anyways. I personally think i don't want to die but i wouldn't be bother if something happens to me somehow i think i deserve . The main point is a i think i don't wanna die, i just wanna dissapear for a while. 

I'm really tired to be honest and i don't feel any emotion rather than sadness. I just feel so empty and unwanted.  


Does anyone have a tip for this dreamer girl of 19 years old that hates living in the reality ?