First time poster, usually a lurker. Recently “rediagnosed”, I’ve been moving around the world a lot for the last decade for work and seeing psychiatrists in some very not progressive countries, each had a different diagnosis

I’ve finally settled down in one that IS progressive, so I was happy to go in and finally have a real conversation about my shit. Doctor wanted to try SSRIs, thinks the anxiety is more likely than the bipolar. Nope, made me go totally nuts almost immediately, and have spent the last two months rapid cycling and stabilizing on lithium (second time taking it) and a few others. I always thought it probably wasn’t bipolar either because you’re not supposed to go up and down so many times during the day! Now I know better.

I feel so much better and I’m definitely not manic or depressed anymore but I still just don’t feel right. Today I got in a fight with my husband, and he really sucks at fighting I am usually the one to de escalate, but I just basically got so overwhelmed with emotion I could not and he’s gone to work ignoring me and I work at home and I’ve literally spent the entire day crying and haven’t gotten anything done. 

I don’t understand, I was feeling so much better, I’m sleeping fine, I’m eating, I’m tracking my moods and they’ve been fine and now this. It feels like such an unfair backslide and now I’m kind of freaking out that I’m not doing as well as I thought I was. 

How do you know when it’s over??? Does anyone actually ever have normal periods where they’re totally fine? Because I’ve been told too that is a hallmark of bipolar and I can very clearly see the extreme ups and downs in my life but there’s never been much stability in between them and it fucking sucks.