I've been taking various antidepressants for the better part of the last 5 years. I really despise how numb they make me feel. I hate my life and the person I am. I feel awful all the time. And yet, I find myself unable to cry, or express much emotion. I really wish I could just let all of these built up feelings out, because I feel that this numbness is the thing that's stopping me from trying to improve myself. The worst time is when I go to bed, because then I have nothing to distract myself from these thoughts; recently I haven't been sleeping well as a result. I feel like I could really try to change something if I could reach these feelings during the day. Alas, I can't.