Hello Everyone,

I am currently heart broken and feel so defeated. This past week was  one huge roller coaster ride. Just witnessing a cycle of anger,  happiness, and depression within a short span is so frightening to me.  This morning, I spent the whole commute to my work with tears flowing  down my eyes just to realize I definitely can not focus on my work  today. So I drove back home sobbing. Here I am, on this Reddit post  seeking for advice and help.

Last night, my girlfriend Katy came over to work out with me at home.  During the workout, I told her that I will be busy in the upcoming  weekends as I will have to go Seattle for work. She tried to chime in  saying "I will go to Seattle?" implying that she wants to come to work  with me. I told her that it won't be practical as I will be focusing on  work, plus the company is paying for me. She then repeated saying "I  will go to Seattle?" I brushed it off laughing thinking that she is  joking. She then asks me "Are you leaving me?" I told her "no" and that  "work is work".

From there on, she continues working out silently while her face  shows frustration and anger. I tried to ask her what is going on, and  then she just ignores me and continues pumping the dumbbell. Then out of  no where she states "If I make a lot of money someday, I will leave  you". I stayed silent which then she replied "When are you going to give  me my $400 to pay for my bills?"

Now going backward one night prior on a Sunday. We were having fun  playing video games and just laughing/talking about random things. Once  the light turned out and we were laying in bed, she asked me in a  demanding way "Can you give me your money". I responded "I'm not made of  money". Then she stood up and started dressing and threatened me "If  you don't give me your money , I am going to leave right now. Also, I  will slash your tire on the way out". This is the exact moment, when I  was afraid of her. Although she is this tiny girl who does have a sweet  heart for me, hearing that just hurts. Not because I believe her, but  because if I had to stay with her for the rest of my life, I will have  to hear other nonsensical things that will hurt me. It makes me feel so  defeated because there is nothing that I can do to make it better. There  has been many instances where she get frustrated or mad at me for the  strangest reasons. I will try to get some sense in her my explaining  what is going on but she seems to not understand clearly. Eventually she  just says sorry and starts hugging me and giving me kisse. At times,  she also tries to just have sex with me. Just watching her do this makes  me feel sad because I feel hopeless.

Continuing from "When are you going to give me my $400 to pay for my  bills?", I responded, okay I will withdraw the money for you on  Wednesday. Then I straight out told her, "I am tired and unhappy. I did  not want continue with this relationship anymore because I feel so weak  and I am sorry for that. I just can't handle it anymore, but I still  want to be your friend and get you help whether it be going to the  doctors or psychiatrist. "

Her face just lit up with more anger and shouted more nonsense at me.  I wish I could remember exactly what she stated, but it didn't  contribute to what I wanted. She was just mentioning how she is doing  all the work in the relationship and that I am not trying hard enough. I  know or I just hope she doesn't mean this, but it just hurts me hearing  this from her.

Just so you know, she is my first girlfriend ever and when we were  dating. She knew that she would be my first. She was reluctant to go  into a relationship with me because of this, but I told her that it  seems unfair to label me this way which will ultimately lead to  self-fullfilling prophecy of failure. Well, she used this against me  last night saying that I scammed her. It felt like more needles were  pinching my heart because I did feel that way.

I eventually calm her down by stating that I wanted to help her and  take her to a doctor as a friend. I also said lets take some time and  think about if this relationship can continue, and she screamed "No, I  don't want it to end". It just pains me so much that I just reluctantly  said okay, but lets focus on what we need to do first which is to see  the doctors. She agreed to.

She went home late last night at 1:00am. I was able to sleep a bit  until I woke up around 4:30am. I was just lying awake thinking about the  possible future, whether I should continue to be her significant other.  I don't want to sound selfish, but I feel like I do have a choice in my  own happiness. I want to break up with her before even going to the  doctor because I don't want her to believe that I am leaving her because  of a diagnosis.

My mind and heart is just racing constantly at the moment, I am not  sure what I plan on doing is right. I already met most of her family  members and it just feels so bad to betray her this way. Currently I am  still contemplating if I should break up now or just continue to see if  things improve. It just makes it more tough when we have so many events  planned out, such as going to Coachella next year and going to Chicago  for vacation next week.

Katy is also in the period of her time where she has been job hopping  constantly because she is not sure what she wants to do for her career.  She has been unemployed for almost a year now. Prior to that, she  jumped around 3 to 4 different low paying dead end jobs. She has this  conflict where she wants to be rich because her father is wealthy just  to make him proud but she understands that is not the perfect way to  enjoy life. I think we share the same value of trust and honesty, but  seeing her this way just hurts me so much.

Although there is no diagnosis of her yet, I strongly believe she is  bi-polar base off of my speculations. Aside from the mood swings, there  are days where she gets few hours or no sleep at all and she feels  energetic. Then there are days where she sleeps for more than 12 hours  and feels tired. I hope I am not labeling her with bi-polar which will  also ultimately lead to a self-fullfilling prophecy of failure. Dealing  with this issue has brought so much tears to my eyes and makes me feel  so exhausted. I think about what future we can have together and I  simply don't see it anymore. We both imagined what our kids would look  like together, but it is so hard to picture it now if this issue  persists or gets worse. I wish I can do more, I wish I can be stronger.

**tl;dr : Girlfriend of 1 and a half year is putting me in  tears with her mood swings. This past week was the hardest as I am  currently contemplating to whether or not continue with this  relationship but at the same time I am filled with guilt and  hopelessness.**