I don't really know what I'm looking for... maybe some guidance on how to handle my anxiety. 

I am not a particularly anxious person. I have had bouts of it, usually when I'm in a toxic situation I know I need to get out of like a bad realtionships or job, etc. But a little over a week ago I adopted a dog with my partner and I have been utterly consumed with anxiety ever since. I've eaten maybe one meal a day, I'm losing weight, I can't think of anything else but my stress about the dog, and I am putting a strain on my partner. 

We researched, prepared, were really specific with our needs which included moderate activity needs and just chill mellow personality. They paired us with this adorable mutt who was described as mellow and low stress but he's proving to have some issues we would never have agreed to, namely a wicked prey drive. Walks are nearly impossible, and walks and off leash hikes were the #1 thing we were most excited for. They never even mentioned his prey drive, which should have stuck out to them. All that to say, the dog is proving difficult for reasons outside of normal settling in issues.

It was decided that I'd take the morning walk because I get up early anyway. I was expecting an excited dog first thing in the AM but I wasn't expecting this frustration. We're going to get training and we're going to work on it. But I have this deep sinking dread that I've made a horrible mistake in getting a dog. 

It's ruined my mornings. I dread it. I am not excited to see him by bed wagging his tail. I know I'm about to have a really unpleasant experience. 

Through all this, I realized my mornings were soooo important to my mental health. Those few hours were my "me time" to be quiet, read, watch tv shows I like, enjoy my coffee or a nice breakfast. I was feeling so happy and stable in my life because of those mornings I now realize. And now they are just full of frustration and rushing to get ready b/c I spent 45 minutes coaxing this adorable jerk down the block. I used that time to mentally prepare for work and now I'm just so stressed immediately as I sit down to work. Now I have no time to myself. I used to relish the evenings my partner would go out because I'd get to be truly alone. Not anymore. I finally got my life to such a happy, stable, enjoyable place... and now I've just well and truly fucked myself over. 

I've been crying every day for over a week and cannot seem to get it together. Totally spiraling. I can't concentrate, I am irritated by the dog, I am so mad at myself for adopting. And I know this isn't a productive state of mind. I know I need to try and bond and improve his behavior, but I am just so fucking sad. 

Its put a huge strain on my partner who at first was like "hey, we're in this together and you're my #1 priority and if the dog isn't right, he goes." Now he's just so annoyed with my constant sadness and constant talking about the dog that I am worried I'm damaging our relationship. He's getting attached and I'm making this whole thing so negative and toxic. 

It doesn't help that everyone in my life is giving me such conflicting advice that doesn't actually help my anxiety. Everyone says puppy blues/adoption blues are a real thing and they subside but I have this deep sinking feeling its not going to. I know I need to make the best of it and move forward and try to make this work, but I can't figure out how to get my emotions in check. It's an emotional rollercoaster I've never felt before. 

I'm on the brink of tears constantly and that is not my usual state of being at all. I'm worried and nervous about things I've never been worried or nervous about. I'm mad at myself for getting swept up in the romantics of adopting a dog. I'm mourning my old life and how it was so perfect for me and I was happy and healthy and now I'm fucking mess. 

How do I deal with this? I'm reading books and I've booked training classes, so like, the logistical aspect of improving this dog is there. The emotions are the hard part. I've been trying deep breathing, meditating, positive thinking, trying to envision things when they easier.

But how do I get past the feelings of ruining my life. Of hurting my partner. Of locking myself into something I really didn't need or maybe even truly want. If I could go back in time and not do any of this I would, and that thought is plaguing me because its not my reality. 

Dogs are supposed to make people feel better and I just feel infinitely worse.