I’m a 23-year old male and I’ve been diagnosed with just about everything under the sun. Bipolar 2, EDNOS, bulimia, GAD, ADHD, BPD and a quite a few physical ailments.

I’ve put a lot of work into bettering myself. I take medication, have been through therapy (and am looking to go back into it), have a good relationship with my GP, and I’ve been in a stable relationship for quite a few years. 

Even though I’m much better than I was a few years ago, I notice old patterns re-emerging. I self-harm almost daily, but it’s usually just head banging so there are no marks. I notice myself becoming paranoid, thinking friends are out to get me when they aren’t.  I impulse buy constantly, binge and purge almost daily, and am pretty poor at controlling my impulses. 

I go through different phases of personalities in a matter of hours or days. One moment, I’m a calm, cool, collected person that is highly successful at work, the next I’m an insecure wreck. 

To top it all off, I’m a people pleaser. I feel like I have to be perfect all the time, so others don’t see what’s underneath. I had a psych-Ed assessment done, and they say I have ADHD and am a highly sensitive person. Due to childhood trauma and neglect, these traits have resulted in me developing BPD. Intellectually, I know that these behaviours are explained by BPD, but I feel so much shame around them that I’m having trouble accepting it. What do I do?