I’m very sorry please don’t read if this is a trigger.
















I got a new job and things are going very wrong (it is not my position where the issues are but what’s happening is crazy and no one can think of a clear answer for it...eventually we will in the mean time I’ll remain freaked out) 

But I want to do it. I want to do it so bad. I burn my hands. I do it there because then when it scars I have this permanent memory of why to make myself feel like shit. Started in 8th grade with my sisters curling iron (still have the scar and I’m in my 30s) have other scars from when I was 20 etc. it’s embarrassing (or would be because when I date guys would always ask me what happened when we were holding hands. I always got awkward and said oh it’s a burn and changed the subject but I’ve been in a relationship for 7 years and don’t have to worry about that now. 

Talking about this is actually making me feel better. I still want to do it but maybe I won’t now