Trigger warning for sex and suicidal ideation. My favorite person was this guy I would have died for who randomly ghosted me 2 months ago. Tonight I couldn’t stop thinking of him. Obsessing. I always think of him 70% of the day. Imagining him. Smelling him. Creating fake scenarios in my head. Imagining me hugging him.

It escalated and I started to masturbate to thoughts of him like crazy. And then when I finally came I started to cry and felt empty and insane. Literally what the hell is my problem. He wants nothing to do with me. I’m blocked on everything. We haven’t spoken in months. It makes me want to not exist. Sigh.