I'm so sick of my own shit. I ruin every sing interaction I have with a guy because I get very intense very quickly and can't let go once I've got hooked. I intensely message, frantically looking for a sign of affection and validation and if I don't get that / if it's not reciprocated I get angry and say the most vile horrible shit and act in totally inappropriate ways. I just wish I could interact with potential partners in ways that weren't totally destructive and unhealthy.