Why did I expect *them* to be responsible for *my* emotions?

After a childhood of being abused and abandoned by adoptive parents who were too stressed and ill-prepared to have a child -- as well as absolutely certain that others were responsible for *their* emotions -- I grew up just knowing that everyone else was going to treat me the same way. 

I charmed others into relationships (to get *my* emotions fixed), imitated my adoptive parent's hyper-critical perfectionism, got self-righteous with them, either abandoned them or abused them enough to abandon me... and then blamed *them* for it all. I couldn't see that I was just acting out exactly what I had grown up with. 

In DBT interpersonal skills training, I used [MBBT](https://www.newharbinger.com/blog/introduction-mind-body-bridging-i-system) mind-mapping and [ACT](https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&amp;ion=1&amp;espv=2&amp;ie=UTF-8#safe=off&amp;q=acceptance+%26+commitment+therapy&amp;*) "ACTion," as well as the [10 StEPs](https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&amp;ion=1&amp;espv=2&amp;ie=UTF-8#q=10+StEPs+of+Emotion+Processing) of Emotion Processing skills to see, hear otherwise *sense* how I had become what I had become, that blaming others was *never* going to get me moving in a (ACT) "valued direction." 

Blaming is very socialized, habituated and normalized in my mind. But using the 10 StEPs when I noticed myself blaming digs me up out of it very quickly. I am now trustworthy enough to have developed quite a few solid and mutually supportive relationships over the last 10 years.   

Comments? Suggestions? Critiques? Harsh invective? Vitriolic flaming? :-)