For the last 3 years, I've gotten terrible morning anxiety. Every day I'd wake up before work, it feels like my whole world is crashing. This all started when I found out I was having a kid back in 2018. Fast forward to today, and I am still stuck in this position. Most of the anxiety comes from my job itself. I don't like it. It's a manual labor residential job. I constantly have a varying schedule, and just the thought of never knowing when I will be coming home, tears me apart. I hate being away from my family. I've went through some childhood trauma that I believe plays a roll in this... Over the years of dealing with this, I've developed ibs-d every morning due to being so nervous. I've been through 4 jobs, I can't keep myself from calling out of work. I eventually overstay my welcome to the point where I collapse and quit. My new job has worked with me alot on this, I haven't told them the full story, though I did tell them I have a medical condition that flares up in the morning. They let me start late, and overall, they've been understanding of my problem up until now. But I feel so worthless... I feel like a failure. All I want to do is go a month without calling out and I can't do it. How do I wire my mind to think positively? How do I keep myself from calling out of work because I'm so panicked. I can't really get a job in a different line of work because this is all I know, and going elsewhere would result in a huge pay cut... I want to make it work with this company. I do like the work itself, but something about different amounts and sizes of tasks everyday, and not knowing when I'll be home, kills me. I know the smart thing to do at this point would be to tell them the truth. I've been here for over a year and they have got to be sick of me. Since the start of the new year I missed: 3 days the first week (we got 2 snowstorms), 4 days the next week (I was sick for the first 2 I missed, but then the anxiety that I missed those 2 days, snowballed into even more anxiety and so I missed 2 more), and then last week, I missed 2 more days. 9 days. Granted half of those I requested no pto to be used so I don't blow through it, I just can't believe what I've become. I see everyone being productive every day. Going to work, then to the gym, then to the store... Just the thought of me getting up for work, and going is too much for me. I'm not sure what to do..