So I got some pretty heavy shit going on in life.  The kind of shit that is going to be very difficult for the next several months and very possibly years.  (As I typed that it felt like I'm talking about prison and it's nothing like that).  Now, I'm surprised at how well I've been handling everything over the last couple months but these last few days have been almost unbearable.   Evening/night time is the worst as I'm settling in the house.  I have time to think.  I have time to realize how terrible almost every little thing is and I can't see any positives.  I stay sick to my stomach and start randomly tearing up almost crying.  Sometimes a ful cry ngl.  I try to get a good workout everyday because it helps me feel better and today I couldn't even make it through that.  I'm so mentally drained I can't focus.

What should I do to make these nights better?  I won't drink because I know it'll get worse and I've been down that road.  I wanted to take a handful of melatonin and just sleep till tomorrow (it's only 7 now), but I read it can alter mood as a side effect.  Advice would help me not want to just give up.  Thanks..