Hi everyone. I hope you're not feeling like crashing and you're not imagining 24 episodes 7 season long tv show in the span of a 3 minute song...
I'm just annoyed at myself. I feel like I know what's wrong with me and what I'm doing wrong but I can't do anything to change it. I know there's help and medicines and you can reach out for help but it's so hard. It's so hard making that appointment with the MH counsellor and it's so hard writing my diss (which I fought way too hard for, also for nothing). It's been almost 8 months I moved to a new place and I feel like I've achieved nothing. People ask me what I'm going to do next and I don't know anything? What have i learned? Don't do Molly for 5 days straight? Do i just feel like I'm smart and I'm actually not? Do i even matter? Why is life so fucked up? How do you move on? Why do I keep throwing myself in a lot of sadness crying for nothing, feeling alone, unable to trust anyone, feeling alarmed in my own skin? Why do I have to keep telling myself that no one can hear my thoughts? I'm 24, IS IT SO FUCKINF HARD FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND ONE THING AND MOVE ON? apparently not.
Also,
 I stopped listening to sad songs because i thought I was making myself cry on purpose but I'm already crying so any suggestions would be great.