After doing a lot of research as to how to fix my marriage, I came across BPD a while back and I feel like my wife got every red flag.  She is jealous of anything that gives me joy (she hates that I donate time to coaching wrestling, or anything else that I like to do without her is a guilt trip).  She is never sorry or feels bad about her actions.  When she does something wrong she either justifies it or finds some character flaw in me to focus on or hyper focuses on a word in the argument like “you called me names!” (I used the word ridiculous)

We have 3 kids which makes this tricky.  I really don’t want a divorce but today felt like the final straw.  She sprayed Lysol at me at 6am because she said I farted in my sleep?  Our baby daughter was in the bed next to me when this happened.  I was obviously pissed, went down stairs and didn’t want to talk to her much as I know how things would escalate.  It was my grandfathers 94th bday and she held my youngest ransom from going to see her unless I dropped it and spoke to her.

We got into it on the way home as I didn’t want to ruin my grandfathers bday.  She kicked my car, threw her phone at me and started smashing the awards for my wresting team on the ground and when I tried to stop her she screamed “you put your hands on me!” 

It sounds so much worse after writing this.  I don’t know what to do going forward.  When things are good they’re great.  I have a great life (other than the bpd wife), I absolutely adore my kids, love my house, career etc.

Want to save the marriage but unsure how?