I'm a social worker in a health service with a vocational focus. I love the work and really enjoy helping people back into work (although most days I balance this with a strong criticism of wage labour in a capitalist economy which I mostly keep to myself unless asked)

I also have some borderline traits. Some days, I treat my wife and children like shit and I can't help myself doing it despite my best efforts not to. I have to feel in control of every situation and the littlest thing can send me off the handle. I often blame others for my problems, however the reflective skills I've learned have helped me see where I'm dodging responsibility. I often consider suicide but I have three kids and I do love my wife which is my protective factor. Also, I can't get help because my registration may be cut off if I'm deemed "mentally unwell". 

I know I use my practice as a way of escapism, but also I know that I want people to feel better about life than I do. I want others to have hope. I just don't seem to have it. 

