Spent the last week of my easter holiday dreading having to attend my college classes. Two in particular, religion and form. Both of which are mandatory and I HAVE to attend once a week. 

I always get extremely nervous when having to attend my regular classes that I will have to spend 10 or so minutes just calming myself down and trying to regulate my breathing in the tiolets, but religion and form make me nervous on a whole other level.

I feel like throwing up, I shake like crazy, my heart beats so hard I feel like I'm moving against its beat, I cant breathe. I can't do anything and every week I absolutely dread attending these. I have an extreme issue with details, for me to be comfortable with a class, I have to know the exact room location, follow a strict route to get to there, know which side the door is on, how the door opens... etc... etc.... but for form and religion there are no constants. The tables move around, people sit wherever they want, different teachers almost every religion class. I simply cannot function.

It's stupid, my form teacher is well aware of my issues and is extremely kind and helpful. I haven't been to college for three weeks, the teacher changed the whole seating plan just to accommodate my comfort because I privately asked before easter holiday, but I can't get used to it.

I'm a burden to the fucking teachers and I can't do shit. It really feels like the end of the world when I have to attend these classes. I can't go, I cant go or ill fuck up in some way and make a fool of myself and be stuck loathing all these fuck ups for the next 20 years of my life.

What do I do? I'm panicking, I'll probably just cry in the toilets