I can sometimes take rejection so badly when it comes from a fp. I was rejected both sexually and romantically by my fp (again). What sucks is that every time they reject me, I feel like it's the end of the world because in my mind they are the only one I want to be with. We have not dated but I have idealized them to be the perfect yet imperfect match for me for whatever reason. It feels like the light and possibility of joy in the future is just fading away whenever I am rejected by them, and I struggle to accept it so I keep clinging onto hope that things will change. I admit I hold them on a pedestal in a way which is part of why it is difficult since I feel like they are the only one for me. When I am rejected by them, it hurts and everything starts to feel dull and I become desensitized to the things I enjoy.  It is this feeling where I feel like I will never be happy because they are the epitome of what I want in a significant other. 

I am frustrated because I have been battling this for a long time now, but I can say that things are looking up since I am not as bad as I used to with my fp and dealing with the rejection. They told me I would find someone and I still struggle to fathom a future where they are not my "one and only". I have been doing some dbt and it has helped, but of course I am still struggling with this.  

Does anyone know why BPD would make me feel this way?