Sometimes it seems like no matter what I do, I just always fail in life. I started off as your typical gifted child but parental vanity and a tough childhood eventually got the better of me and now I'm just a 16 year old girl who gets mediocre grades (mostly C's and D's but if I'm lucky B's) and lacks friends (not even an exaggeration, I only talk to one person over text and this person doesn't even go to my school).

I wanted to graduate from my first primary/elementary school alongside my best friend but instead I was forced to move to another school where I was socially excluded and ended up graduating alongside nobody. 

I wanted to go to my dream high school and definitely had the capability to get in but constant negative environmental factors changed everything and now I just go to a generic low-end high school characterised by moderate-to-heavy drug use, fighting and no notable alumni whatsoever. I don't have much hope for my future.

Everytime I enter competitions, I lose. Lost this local art and writing competition recently which does sting a little because I poured my soul into this story but then again, what did I expect? I'm nothing but a failure. Lost the school election too. Pretty much everyone got in except for me. I'm mostly a background character at school and not really valued by anyone. I do talk to people at times but there's no actual bond whatsoever and it's all quite surface-level. People always talk about "learning from your mistakes" or "just try harder" but the thing is, I've tried doing that. Many, many times actually but no matter what I do, things don't change and when they do change, it's for the worst. I just get the feeling that maybe some people, such as myself, are just predestined to lead lives defined by constant failures and misery but oh well.

As of now, I'm just incredibly alone, invisible and my self-esteem is quite low since I haven't achieved anything in years but yeah just needed to vent a bit because things just seem so hopeless right now and I'm praying that at least one person has decent advice that isn't just some re-iteration of "exercise and eat healthier" or "try harder" or something. Please.