I've been watching Dr. Ramani videos recently and was struck in particular by her video on "The Helper Child."  I know she isn't always the best source for psych info (she seems to play fast and loose with stigmatizing, inaccurate terminology), but I do believe when she's onto something, she's on, and this video in particular resonated deeply with my experiences growing up and the imprint it left on me and my behavior today.  I have a pretty *pathological* drive to be this "helper" all the time to *anyone* in any situation; I will *bleed myself dry* to serve and help other people.  I cannot say "no" to anything ever.  Which ends up eventually being...unhelpful...to say the least (bottle up and explode or shutdown and ghost the norm)  :s  I definitely tie this in to my BPD experiences: no boundaries, instability, impulsivity, lack of self, etc.  Does this kind of compulsive, harmful self-sacrifice resonate with others and their BPD history?  And more importantly, what can I do to stop it?  I know boundaries here are critical, critical, critical, something I'm working on because I suck at it, but what else helps in your own experience?