Hi yall! 

I’ve been with my SO for 2.5 years, and I was diagnosed with BPD a year and a half ago. The first year of our relationship, I recognise that I treated him poorly, and I’ve dedicated a lot of my time to building a healthier bond. Now I’m in DBT, and ive spent a lot of time working on our relationship- establishing boundaries for both of us, cutting back on my codependent actions, learning how to self validate (it hurts so much to be honest, I just want to call him and be with him 24/7 but anything to have a healthy relationship with the person who loves and supports me!) 

I love him very much. I understand I may be hyper-vigilant, but I was wondering if anyone else had experience with this- I’d like to send him some resources on how to support and talk to people with BPD. However, I’m afraid it will come off as “haha I’m using bpd as an excuse, here is a guide on how to deal with me like an animal”. There’s the part of me that’s afraid that he will see it as me trying to make an excuse for my behaviour. Honestly, it’s for his own good- I want him to have the resources to correctly communicate with me for the sake of the relationship, and the more he understands bpd, the more he’ll understand me. As we all know, BPD can’t just be easily turned off, or it wouldn’t be a disorder. I want him to have the resources to keep both of us happy and healthy. 

Maybe I’m over thinking it? I assume he would be receptive, but maybe before I have this discussion I’d want to know if any of you have had this talk before, and the best way to start it! Also if there are any suggestions for materials to send to SOs or loved ones, I’d appreciate it! 

Thank you!