there is just so many things i want to know about me. i guess this confusion might be me being only 19yo but i think most of it is the BPD. especially me feeling like i am not normal and some ''alien''. i feel my true self and interests are behind a dissociative wall. everything is clouded and every once in a while i am able to learn maybe 1 thing of myself but even then it all feels clouded, the sense of self feels skewed.