Today I was really struggling with all or nothing thinking. Although I've gotten better over the past little while, it really wormed itself in throughout the day to the point where I was so depressed that I felt as though I couldn't move and was even acting derisively to the person I live with.   


Basically this thinking started when I got some good news from someone I'm relatively close to and, at first I was happy, but then I realized that a second person that I'm relatively close to would be unable to really share in the good news because person A and person B don't really like each-other all that much. 

It's really strange but I feel so threatened and hurt by the fact that these two can't get along for me when, in reality, I'm their only point of connection and they would get along if they had to if they were ever in a situation where they were together. 

For whatever reason I personally feel hurt by the fact they don't get along but the reality of the situation is it doesn't matter in the slightest.

It's a situation created out of nothing and I can't even really bring this up because it's so manufactured by my own brain. 

It's almost like I only have space for one thing in my brain at a time and if any two things should conflate or get together bad things happen so I keep them as far apart as I can. The more intimate the thing in question, the more I feel the need to keep it separate from other things. 

This particular time it hasn't messed me up too bad, but there have been times where things have gotten really out of hand because of this need. 

Why do I have such a hard time integrating the reality of the situation which is that two people who don't like each-other don't have to be friends for me and that my relationship with each person exists separately. 

Sometimes being in a relationship with two people who hate each other can alter what one of the people thinks of you personally but, often, the reality of the situation is not that extreme. 

Its such an uncomfortable feeling and I hate that I feel this way.