Hi guys! I am 21 (f) and I've been struggling with how to bring myself back to reality after completely shutting down. I've learned from a young age the way to deal with my bpd symptoms is to just shut myself 'off' in a sense. Outwardly I'm just stoic and nonverbal, but inside I'm dealing with all these overwhelming emotions and thoughts. It's hard to explain ,but I physically can't talk when I'm in this state. It's extremely draining on me and I know it has to take a toll on my partner as they don't know when I'm gonna get triggered into it. Any suggestions? I feel so guilty afterwards ,but I tell myself it's better than lashing out. I feel so cold and nonhuman for the way my body copes and feel especially bad for my partner who has been nothing but supportive.