Today I just realized when I think about the future, it’s black. I didn’t even think I would get to this point in my life, and when I think about what I want out of life, I have no idea what I want. I literally don’t know what goals I have. I don’t have any hopes for the future because for so long I have no will to even be alive. I hate having this stupid disorder and living everyday in survival mode and no concept of the future but regardless it’s still coming.