i mostly see people talk about anger outbursts or rejection sensitivity or fear of abandonment but one nothing no one ever tells you is how bad the emptiness that comes with bpd is.

the emptiness feels terrifying i never knew emptiness could make your heart feel this heavy. i'm constantly chasing things and people in hopes that they would fill up that void in me. no matter what i do once i'm in that state of emptiness it's hard to get out it doesn't matter if my partner is trying to cheer me up or what my friends do to help me or even what i do to myself once i'm in that state of emptiness it doesn't go away until i feel like i'm going to die and in that very moment where i think its too much and i will actually commit suicide something pulls it away from me.. it doesn't go away completely but it does get slightly better and less heavy. that's the symptom that terrifies me the most.