i have no memories of and i'm 90% sure i've never been sexually abused or assaulted but the possibility is literally always on my mind. no matter who i am with or how close we are. if i'm with a man regardless of whether or not i'm alone i have horrible intrusive thoughts about what could be done to me. i also struggle with going out in public because any time i see a man walking behind or even just near me i think he is following me. even when i don't see anyone near me i think i'm being followed. why am i so god damn scared of something that's never happened to me and likely never will?!?!