Nov 2017 I had my first round of TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation) for my treatment resistant depression.  It was so effective I felt like my depression was deleted.  Late 2019 I started having short periods of depression again and over the course of the next could of years it got worse.  

I finished another round of TMS 12/1/21 and while my PHQ scores did improve from a 19 to a 6, I still felt a little muted/flat/numb.  The last week I seem to be slipping back into depression already, back up to a 15 on PHQ.  I would think some highs and lows shoild be expected, because life, but my experience this time with TMS is so different than the last time.

I wonder, is it COVID?  I moved out of state and don't have the social group and active life like I used to.  I feel like I need a new life soooo bad, but maybe I just need to practice more acceptance.  I find myself picking apart every aspect of my life to try and fix it, but objectively it's a pretty good life.  Steady and supportive boyfriend, steady job (call center, but still great pay/benefits/growth potential).  I have a nice home and am doing fine financially.  I just feel like I need to go on some grand adventure and have a group of awesome adventurous friends.  I don't even trust myself anymore to decide what needs changing in my life.  Emotional disregulation?  I just don't know anymore.

Has anyone else experienced any of this?  Help/advice welcome.