I am 99% sure I have it but I feel like if I just go into a therapist and tell them that they won’t believe me or just think I’m self diagnosing. Which I am, but I have been having extreme symptoms for years without explanation. I was in an incredibly traumatic relationship for 4 years which certainly didn’t help but now I am in a great relationship and I am starting to ruin it. I fit every symptom: extreme jealousy and fear of abandonment, uncontrollable rage over the smallest things and mood swings, emptiness most of the time and no sense of self. I change my appearance and hobbies to copy other people and I’m not really sure what my interests even are.
My stepmom has Bpd and I have always hated her. She has been terrible to me ever since she met my dad when I was 5 and I am so afraid to end up like her. I’m not saying Bpd makes her a bad person but I’m worried if I do not treat whatever is going on with me that I will be like her. I’m not even sure if I can afford therapy but I am just self destructing at this point. Any advice??