today i am especially sad. 
i am at this point where i truly believe we’re in a rigged simulation &amp; we’re meant to just play out the card that has been programmed to us. i say this because, the amount of grace seems to be lacking in my life, those unexpected good things that come, never do. it’s been down hill for me for 3 years or so now, ive lost interests in everything i once loved &amp; i don’t have a single person i can call a friend. that’s okay! but if i truly believe in god, truly reflect on spiritual evolution/my growth, truly understanding it’s all for the greater purpose, where is the magic? i believe in the magic, but really, where is it ? sometimes i think the only way is suicide, like what if that’s the only way i was programmed to leave earth?