My girlfriend (F22) and I (M25) have been together for a year now. Throughout the relationship it’s been fairly full of ups and downs. She has borderline personality disorder so it hasn’t been so easy. She’s been through childhood trauma and has been in a few abusive and bad relationships in the past which makes her react to people and issues in a different way. So we bicker and argue often. She used to take medicine seroquil in a high dose, but has gotten off of it.

Just 3 months ago we found out that she was pregnant, Her past relationship, her ex-boyfriend made her get an abortion, I couldn’t put her through that again. I was surprised and nervous at first but I’ve accepted it and have started to embrace this blessing. She didn’t like the fact that I was iffy about the pregnancy. We are constantly fighting and it’s driven me to the point where go into a blind rage and start breaking or hurt myself in a fit and I’m ashamed that I’m like this. Sometimes I’ll have a suicidal flash. Or I’ll say something immature in an argument or I’d leave the house for a few hours to calm down.

She will say that there many bad habits that’ll piss her off, that I am not ready to take care of a child if I can’t take care of myself because I dont eat much or rarely cook. That communication isn’t good and that I’m not up to her standards. I’m not big or muscular to her liking. I’m never home (because I work a full time job with erratic hours) even though I’m always home with her when I’m not at work. When we fight and I leave, she’ll sit and starve in the room. She makes it feel like I can’t take care of her. That I’m always tired or sleepy and sleep too much. She is tired of me.

But there are things on my side of this relationship that’s driving me up the wall. She is 15 months pregnant but she still smokes yachts (weed mixed with tobacco in a bong) because she has been an avid smoker for years and has trying to quit for the pregnancy. She says I piss her off so she’ll smoke. We have 4 cats (hers) and 1 bunny (mine) in this household so she expects to have the house clean almost all the time. The upkeep to keep the house tidy is exhausting due to all these pets. I’m working all the time and I’m paying mostly all the bills here and my money and energy is strained. We’re living paycheque to paycheque. As she doesn’t work. She doesn’t drive so I take her to do things as well as help her with her business. I am feeling really strained and helpless because I try and try to no avail, that nothing is good enough for her. Everything I do is never right.

Great people of Reddit, I don’t know what to do and am in need of some advice. We are currently fighting as of now and she’s sick of my shit. I want to resolve this but it’s not looking good. I appreciate your time reading up on my relationship problems.

Edit: She just barged into the room looking for a smoke and is making me go get some for her.