I've been thinking about this for a while. Whether it be that I'm a pussy, I'm lazy, or I secretly don't want to, I haven't done it yet. I don't really know certainly why, but just a few seconds ago I had the urge/instinct to do it. I've been really hoping it'd just distract me from my thoughts, or help give any type of relief whatsoever. Plus I'd have a little reminder to what I went through if I came out alive and not with a hole in my head. I've just been getting strong urges to do it and I don't know really how, where, when to do it. And if I don't do it, then what? I'm stuck here festering in my own thoughts suffering in complete pain for the next 4 hours.