I have the most amazing dad and we used to to do so much together, like road trips all through europe and such things. But ever things this goddamn anxiety started I panic over everything, we can't do anything anymore because I'm so paralyzed and crippled by this all consuming anxiety. He still wants to go on big road trips with me as we used to and I always have to decline, and every time I do it breaks his heart. He just want to have some quality time with his daughter but I'm too broken. 
I hate myself so fucking much, so fucking goddamn much, I hate what I have become.