i am so desperate to engage in every behavior that’s destructive. 

i just don’t know if i can hold out anymore, i want to spend i want to hurt myself i want to die i want to use

if i am feeling these things why am i not worthy of help??????? I CONSTANTLY FEEL UNSAFE WITH MYSELF  BUT I JUST CANT GO TO THE HOSPITAL EVERY TIME I WANT TO KMS 

because you know they think i just do it for attention. no i want to end this fucking hell i am in every second of my life.