I thought I'd never make a post here but maybe it will make me feel better if I did.  


I'm so done with living in this house. I want to kill myself. Everything around me is so triggering.   
I'm finally away from my toxic ex, but I'd rather go back to him. He's an abusive asshole but everything else was better back then.

I feel so terrible for my current partner because I think I am drowning him in my insanity and suicidal ideations every day. He probably even regrets getting into a relationship with me. I don't even know why he is still with me. Aren't I just an emotionally abusive person? I'm fucking mentally insane. Why would anyone want to be with me? I'm not even useful. I think I'm the least lovable person you'd know.   


I should've died when I overdosed. I regret living. I didn't think I would live til this age. I'm so tired of everything. I want to die in a horrible accident where I have no control in. I don't even know if I can survive through this week.   


Thanks for viewing this rant c: