
Hey, im 17 and this thing is killing me. 
So, my mom have bordeline personality disorder and depression. She sleeps almost 24/7, and i take care of everything. She is okay with leaving dishes unclean in kitchen for 14 days until i get home from my boyfriends house.. She makes me feel guilty when i left home for a boyfriends house etc, that i dont care about her.. Also she takes everything too personally. For imagine, i say "I hate cucumber" and she is like "So you hate me because i eat it??". Its exhausting, even tho i explain to her, that i dont mean it like that, she continues to think it. The problem is, that she was the only one from my family that i trusted. But i dont trust her anymore, she broke my trust multiple times, like with money, when she took my money and when i asked her about it, she told me, its not true, even tho i saw it in my internet banking. 
My dad has brutal anger issues. Today i confronted him, for not even asking me if im feeling better after being 10 days sick, with high fever. And he told me "I knew how you was, mom told me." She told him that "Its not about knowledge, its about that you didnt ask her." And he started shouting. I started crying (im very sensitive to shouting cuz of my childhood, i will get to it later in this post) And he started shouting even more that i am f*cking crybaby, that i cant do anything else than cry and that he would be happier if i wasnt born. He is truck driver, so i see him from my childhood like 3 days in the month. Everytime i try to talk with him about that im sad, that he seems like he doesnt care either way that money, he gets so mad, that im literally scared of him.

And the worst on the end My grandma. My grandma was treating my mother horribly when she was a kid. She is very ambitious, egoistic and selfcentric person. She is also a huge manipulative person, and evil. When i was about 4 years old, it all started. She was often threatning my mom with messages all night long, textung her horrible things. My mom from what i remember often didnt sleep because of it. It all got to the point when my mom started drinking and became an alcoholic. My grandma took the oportunity and she started fighting through child services for the intention i go live to her. It wasnt because she would want to save me. She wanted to make me a person she always wanted to be. So she forced me to go to prestige school, balet and many other sports/hobbies. It went to the point when i was in school to 4pm and got home at 11pm. I was 9yo and my body colapsed from not enough sleep and rest. My mom then went to rehab, but it didnt help, so she went like 10 other times. Recently ive got acknowledge the letter my grandma gave my dad before he died. It was my grandmas diary.. She planed it. All of it. She had every single year of my life written there with things she want to do. (Take me to child services and stuff) My mom often physically fought with my grandma, cuz of me.. 
And the last one.. me because of all the trauma you can see up there i was diagnosed with bordeline personality disorder. I have also problems with derelization, adhd and eating disorder.
I wanna move out once i hit 18, but im scared my mom will hurt herself..