I've gone through a year and a half of DBT at this point and I've been doing pretty well in terms of mitigating most extreme behavior, but interpersonally I am still a mess and I just need to know how to make sense of what I'm feeling. My external life is more or less together, but I cannot gauge how I feel about other people for shit.  

I've been dating my current SO for about 7 months. We had a quick and genuine connection, hit it off well and I think took it slow. Literally, and I mean literally, not even a few weeks ago I was totally in love with him, could see myself marrying him, we had very few issues, etc. 

And then we got in a fight this week which I guess was a culmination of some small annoyances. I asked for some space to go back to my apartment (we had spent almost 2 weeks together) and he fought me on it, asking me to stay a few more days to finish a project we were working on. I relented even though I should not have because I needed the space. I regretted it and immediately went back to my place the next day. 

Now, I cannot fucking stand him. Seriously, I can't stand him. It's been about 3 days and every personality quirk of his is this garish mutated flaw. Honestly it's like he's blacklisted. If I sit and think about it rationally, I still like some things about him, but emotionally, I cannot stand him. The more I think about it the more angry and upset I get, the more I hate every part of our relationship. I have no idea how to tell what is rational and what is not. 

Then I got drunk last night and cryingly called my ex like an idiot which was a terrible, terrible, move on my part, and also he was nice, which fucked me up even more. 

I cannot tell if I genuinely do not like my boyfriend anymore or if we should break up, I do not know HOW to figure that out, I am not sure if I should ever date at all. 

How the HELL do I stop this awful rollercoaster? I will take any advice, any skills, or even some success stories, just some tips on how to date with BPD/trauma/attachment disorders I guess or how you know something is real or good or whatever. What I feel and what I want is so inconsistent I can't make sense of it. Thanks for reading and cheers.