Lately, I've been crying a lot. Without my parents, I'd be homeless. The loneliness and inability to make friends, guilt, and the grief of being robbed from having a life just hurts.

I've never maintained a job or even school (even preschool), no matter what I do, what mindset I have, or how I approach things... There's something about me that doesn't waver or a miniscule stress threshold that doesn't budge and it all ends with me in a nonfunctional state. 

I've exhausted every possible resource, remedy, and coping skill under the sun (or that I, Google, and therapists can think of) so far. Medications, therapy, eating well, exercise, blood tests for thyroid and deficiencies, etc.

It's frustrating as I've seen glimpses of what I can do and what I could achieve if i could sustain it but it's fleeting. 

Idk why. If it's the ASD or anxiety disorder bingo, something else, or a combo. Maybe I'm just less resilient than others...

As the years grow, I feel more broken than the year before. I don't think I was built for this world.