This morning i had an angry outburst/ breakdown after a text from my dad. it was in front of my boyfriend and i stormed off (selfishly wanting to be chased) i then proceeded to try to end things. we didn’t but he wants space. i see why he would need space but now that i’m calm i can’t help but feel devastated. i feel like a failure and the worst human ever. i also think he may not be the one to be able to handle BPD. i have worked hard since teen years in emotion management but not perfect and it’s been a very hard year for me. I was thinking i should ends thing when he is done with his space. i was so sad earlier but now i feel nothing towards him which i know could pass but i can’t help but just feel nothing about it anymore.  maybe i just needed to vent. i sometimes hate coming out of an episode and just knowing everything  i fucked up.