It started during one of my lowest points of depression. I went from Dean's List to nearly failing out of college, I barely made it to class, either starved or binged, had no friends.. yeah. I had been depressed for years at this point and had suicidal ideation. Then, because the human body likes to kick you when you're low, I started getting this tingly, crawling feeling on my scalp, like microscopic fingers were pulling and moving my hair. Soon I began to feel it all over, my arms, back, thighs, legs, and also developed seborrheic dermatitis to boot, as well as chronic headaches.

It. Has. Been. Five. Years. I've tried escitalopram, gabapentin, am currently on cymbalta which sort of worked for almost a year but no longer helps. The seb derm medicine manages visible symptoms but not this. I can barely sit at my desk and do work. I'm sure my coworkers think I have lice. I constantly have my hands in my hair itching my scalp. I've pulled out hairs. Whenever I sit still my anxiety shoots up just waiting for the intense tingling/crawling/brushing/tugging feeling. I'm shaking like I'm on hard substances. I want to scream. I want to cry. It sometimes keeps me up at night. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like killing myself. This is worse than the health neglect, worse than the social withdrawal, worse than the overthinking. I feel like running a buzzer on my head and ripping the skin off my body.