I read a lot about depression in the past 3/4 years. It started when I was about 15 (now I’m 22), I was complicated, a difficult person to interact with, tough to bear, at 15/16 I only had 1 friend. Then at 16 because i did not study and i did not apply correctly I lost a year of school and changed class the year after. At that time I was miserable, no interests, no friends, no girl, no passion, no discipline, no education, my parents did not understand me, I did not understand me. After I changed class thing started to changed, a lot, maybe it was the context, the people, the environment don’t know. Now I am at university doing good, I work in a restaurant as a waiter, I have a small group of friends that I’m comfortable talking to, I’ve had experience with girls. The problem is even if I seem to have a future I don’t know if I want one, i do what i do because i fear consequences, because it’s better then waiting for things to get worse. They say that when you do things, when you put yourself in good environments, things get better, that feeling of absolute sadness vanishes. I corrected the aspects of my life that were wrong, i built a situation that most would define as bright and promising but al i want is to be happy, satisfied, fulfilled instead i have this thing that hunts me and bites every accomplishments. I’m here waiting to get old and die, the struggle is that i see the pieces but i fail to see the entire picture, and the thing that terrifies me is that at 80 maybe I’ll see the picture but it will be too late.