So I've struggled with mental illnesses my whole life, im diagnosed with Manic Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Anxiety, Schizophrenia, etc. But here in the past 1.5 years I've found myself hurting others. I like to choke people... I seriously want to strangle someone to death although I never have killed anyone purposely, i love seeing them squirm for air and struggle, and then wake back up in a frenzy. Idk what the fuck is wrong with me, for the most part I don't feel empathy for anyone I encounter and get the chance to choke out but later, randomly I find myself in tears asking for forgiveness from Allah and feeling horrible about my actions. I don't want to kill anyone at all, I don't want to hurt people, and I don't want to feel this way anymore. Its driving me insane and is either going to get me killed or put in prison. I've only killed one man, my entire life and it was in self defense, I pulled over on a rigid road that is in the middle of no where bc a man was waving me down screaming for help, but when i exited my vehicle be pulled a knife on me, eventually after a struggle I kicked him off the side of this 700 foot drop off on the other side of this road, his body to this day hasn't been discovered and no one has reported him missing because i still look up missing persons reports to see if i see his face anywhere. That was about a year and a half ago almost 2 years now. And im scared now that I might kill in anger or out of spite or for no reason. Please don't respond to this if you have nasty stuff to say, i know something is seriously wrong with me, I cant control it, I want it to end Now. Please Help.