(Long post, sorry!!!)
I’m not really sure how to describe this but I’ll try my best. As long as I can remember, I have been obsessed with playing with book pages. I can’t read a book without running my fingers between the pages and having an equal amount of pages between each finger. I cannot stop running the pages across my fingers, and I’ve done this for so long I’ve actually toughened the skin between my fingers- meaning I can’t remember the last time I got a paper cut there. If I’m sitting in bed watching a movie or on YouTube, I have to have a book in my lap so I can run my fingers across the corners or around the pages. I have to be doing it while I’m eating, too. In middle school, my friends actually caught on to me doing this and would mimic me with their books. They had no idea how I could do it so effortlessly and without getting so many paper cuts. I’ve tried looking this up and I can’t find anything related to this. I’m wondering if it has to do with the fact that I have to be doing something with my hands or I’ll start picking my skin. I can’t find any other self-soothing type behaviors like this, and I’m wondering if I’m not alone. I’m also wondering if this is more linked to anxiety or OCD, both of which I am diagnosed with.