My biggest symptom of my BPD are my mood swings. When I’m triggered, I go into a blind rage for about an hour or so where I make plans to run away, cut off everyone I know, change my name, etc. I’ve been learning to control this on my own through sheer willpower and have successfully not acted on these moments for a long time, I kind of just stew in my anger but the people around me still notice. But riding out those moments of rage are so difficult. I feel better mentally when it’s over, but all the energy from my body feels sucked out and I don’t even feel that much better because I know the same this is gonna happen soon and I’ll have to deal with it all over again.