So first i was diagnosed with depression because i wasn’t happy with how my life was and i kept hurting myself and wasn’t socialising at all. I was later placed in a psychiatric clinic and had to stay there for a while. After my release i had a suicide-attempt with some pills and as a result i hit my head on an object. When i was waking up in the hospital i suddenly felt diffrent and had some kind of mentality change. There was a woman asking me how i felt and i said: “ i feel like i’m a new person, and i like it.” later on i had to go to therapy weekly and my family and therapist noticed lack of empathy, strong narcissim and lack of remorse. I had become a new self and was not the weird loner in my school anymore. I was one of the popular ones now. but behind a created vasade, I had come upon sadistic thoughts and threatened my family if they wouldn’t give me what i want. I then had lot’s of relationships which always ended in me blackmailing them and them always get scared of me. One time i was just causally hooking up and then my desire to hurt them was strong that i grabbed a knive and wanted to stab them. I felt attracted to the fear in they’re eyes and started to play with it. In school i am top of class and then suddenly i felt bored. I knew that i couldn’t do anything against that boredrum , because all the things i wanted to do are illegal. suddenly i got the mindset that everything isn’t real and im just in a game or simulation of some sort and now i can’t relate to anything what people say. My lack of empathy got so bad that i have 0 empathy now littearly. sometimes i see how people just fade or glitch but i know it’s all in my head. So if i tell my therapist about it, i know i’ll just get put in in the insane hell whole psychiatric. Help me?