I have had a consistent mental decline as of late, At first it started off with very light derealization to the point i barely noticed it then i tried weed for the first time, i dont know what caused it but i had what im guessing is a panic attack. I woke up the next day and was fine no nothing then slowly as time has changed everything in my mind has gotten worse. I have EXTREME derealization, im depressed, and the worst part is my imagination. i have always been a deep thinker at age 12 i even started contemplating god. And at 9 i saw a video of a murder on liveleak and i was fascinated to so this i watched several videos... my curiosity had gotten the better of me. while i watched these videos i felt nothing i only felt sad when i saw true sadness. And from that day on these images keep popping up in my head i cant sleep with my back turned against my door out of paranoia, im so scared of break ins and such that i cant sleep sometimes. But the worst part is the murder fantasies i imagine murders and because of the derealization i get severly involved in these to the point that this happens at least 3 times a day for about 5 minutes. I keep feeling like everything isnt real and one day im afraid that i might lose that little part of me keeping me in reality and ill end up running a scene through my head and commiting that. Im 15 and im scared that this isnt a faze and such im just so tired of this shit i dont want to have this forever id love to go see a therapist but my parents are extemely bad off so that isnt an option, am i a psycopath. What do i do.