\*\*PREFACE: Both my parents and I are fully vaccinated at this point— I was able to get the shots in my state for medical reasons. I wouldn't take the risk if this wasn't the case :)\*\*

I (18f) am supposed to be going to a house party this saturday with my boyfriend (18m). I'm feeling nervous and sad about the prospect of going, but I historically have always loved parties and want to be able to have a great night and enjoy myself, as well as be upbeat and fun for his sake because the night means a lot to him.

I'm an extroverted person who loves to be around people, but when I was younger I struggled a lot with social skills, was bullied, and didn't have many friends. Since then, I have obviously come into my own and become a very social person. I've had several concussions in the last few years, and my most recent concussions (my 5th and 6th concussions, which happened in early january and a little under 3 weeks ago) have frustratingly brought back old social anxiety and depression. I have also somewhat lost connections with lots of my friends because of the amount of time and energy the recovery process takes up— I don't have much time or energy for socializing and have been quite isolated. I feel like I have trouble starting and holding conversations now, along with difficulty focusing and coming up with responses, and being lively in a group conversation. 

The party is technically for the birthday of a girl in my bf's grade at his high school, and almost everyone who will be at the party will be from his highschool. He is one of the nicest, most likeable and social kids at his school, so he knows everyone and is friends (or friendly at the very least) with almost everyone. I've been to a few parties like this with him before, so I am friendly with some of the people who will be there. 

However, the reason this party means a lot to my bf is because it's happening later in the night of the day of his first football game (which his team will almost definitely win). This year is his senior football season, and he is the captain so he's really pumped for it. This party is also the biggest one that has happened in a long time, and he's been talking about Project X for the last few days. He loves me a lot and brings me to every party he goes to, and he has mentioned that he really wants me to have a good night and let loose on Saturday. I want to too, and I want him to have the best night with a happy gf by his side.

How can I loosen up and enjoy myself at this party without getting overwhelmed, sad, antisocial or needing to go home?

tl;dr- saturday is the night of the big party after my bf's first senior year football game and i'm struggling with post-concussion social anxiety, overwhelm, and mood swings that are making me not want to go. i've always loved parties and this one is super important to my bf- advice on how to enjoy myself, socialize better, and loosen up?