I've worked with over 20 therapists (I was put through the wringer at a young age) and solidly half of them were blatantly narcissistic, unempathetic bastards who did their jobs either with zero affect or concern (rarely asked questions, never responded with constructive advice, were consistently dismissive or avoidant in conversation), or were blatantly using their position to belittle and control people they saw as weaker. I have had so many therapists break confidentiality casually, talking about other patients or myself in and out of sessions like a TV show they watched. I've had police called on me for canceling an appointment. I've had therapists literally sit on their phone the whole session without ever talking or making eye contact. I've had therapists curse me out and belittle me when I say I'm struggling to do what they told me to. They say people with BPD are "hard to treat", that the diagnosis is a scarlet letter, but it honestly feels like a lot of my issues with therapists came from me not appreciating shitty treatment. I haven't even acknowledged the "mental health professionals" that went beyond callous and into outright abusive.
I'm very lucky that after a decade of giving up and trying again over and over, I found a therapist who was genuinely empathetic and kind. But it shouldn't take a fucking decade to find a good therapist. And now they're retired, and I have no interest in trying to find another one, because I have no hope that anyone I'd find would half as good. I did look, for a while, and it was so depressing and emotionally taxing that I had to stop. Either they aren't accepting clients, don't accept my insurance, or had blatantly dodgy business practices (I need to sign everything before the first session, despite the paperwork being full of typos, and it includes giving you the right to share my confidential info between practices, bill me for it, and bill me for "any other time spent thinking about or discussing topics related to my treatment" when im not even there???) The therapist at that practice looked really promising too, until I met someone who'd seen them, and it turned out that despite offering "queer and polyamorous relationship therapy", they're blatantly transphobic.
It's just a nightmare. I can't help but feel like the field is similar to teaching - the passionate and kind people who care get worked to death, and they rest are bullies. Or, in this case (and in physical medicine), ASPD/NPD life-optimizers who just wanted a good paying job and the chance to hurt people on a regular basis with no repercussions.