Thanks to my therapist, I’ve realized that I don’t take any control in my relationships, and that I actually willingly give it up whenever I can. To the point that I’m not even friends with people who won’t take control. We decided that there’s a few reasons: if someone is in control and still wants to know me, then I know they really care, and that without control, I don’t have to take accountability, and lastly that I genuinely have no self-worth and can’t even imagine being in a place of power within a relationship. If I’m the one initiating a hang-out, I always am so anxious and have to keep telling myself they like me. I don’t even like being with my friends if they didn’t ask me first. It’s nice that I’m aware, but again it’s so devastating that yet another one of my biggest flaws is due to my lack of self confidence. I just have no idea how I can learn to love myself enough to willingly put myself out there.