Any and everything I've failed. I failed to get a girlfriend multiple times, failed to make my parents proud and even failing at the thing I used to be best at, school. I constantly think about suicide but fear I'll fail that and wind up with life lasting damage. Every attempt at love as either ended as one sided or me thinking my anxiety levels to astronomical heights to the point I'm too afraid to do anything. I just wonder why do people still try to make connections with a selfish husk of a person, I can't even barely do the functions of a respectable human but expect to receive love from someone else. Even my last bit success is seemingly slipping away from me, I can't even get the same grades I used to just a year ago, I literally feel like my soul has left and what's left is a carcass.

I just want to go back to when I was happy, back to before I was such a pathetic failure.