I am 25 years old and have struggled with mental illness my entire life. From 19 to 23 I couldn't carry on with anything. All jobs I would lose right away, 5 months max. I was a drug addict. I was abusing drugs. I changed two colleges that I left almost immediately. I didn't have a stable identity and this was part of the problem together with not being able to stay sober...because I was taking jobs for which I wasn't suited as well as I was studying. In the end I started to take drugs, unfortunately I don't do psychotherapy anymore...anyway I calmed down....stabilized even if I'm not so well anyway. I'm in my second year at university, studying interpreting and translation. I've always been good at languages, I speak French, English, Spanish besides my mother tongue, Italian. I passed all but one of last year's exams. I can't help but feel inferior though. They're almost all younger than me at the university and every time I talk to new people and they expect me to be a senior and already finished I die inside, I've isolated myself and my social phobia is gone so much. I keep thinking that at my age I should have finished everything, only before (when I was addicted and more unstable) it was impossible. I'm so ashamed. i'm also ashamed of the fact that i'm still not ''normal'' and my problems slow me down a lot. i've made progress since last year but it never feels like enough. is anyone in the same situation? how do i not feel like crap? i'm also haunted by the idea that it's too late and no one will hire me afterwards because i have a pretty empty resume and i started this thing ''late''. help.

i truly feel like shit. everytime im in uni i think that people must think that im worthless and lazy and im doing this late because i wasted years being not productive for fun instead of struggling with legit problems but if i said why im in this situation id just be pitied....make things worse. even leaving aside what others think of me i cant forgive myself or find any form of self esteem. 

I'm posting here because i was diagnosed with bpd, cychlotimia, gad, avoidant personality disorder. im no longer sure of all the labels because i dropped out of therapy when my therapy was trying to figure out if i had bpd traits made worse by the cychlotimia (rapid bipolar) instead of the full disorder.