I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 when I was 14 and with BPD when I was 19. I guess because I didn’t know much about it or how to cope I would throw my baggage onto my friends and past partners and switch on them, telling myself they will leave one day so pushing them away will not hurt me. Now that I’m older (21) I’ve calmed down a bit and have tried to make my friendships more stable but I still have my weeks where I feel extremely manic and then extremely depressed and can’t seem to talk to other people about it. I’ve been seeing someone for about 5 months now and I have not told him about my past suicide attempts or how bad my depression can be and today I tried to take my own life. I have self harm scars from earlier and I know I should tell him but I’m afraid that subconsciously I’ll see him as a FP and depend on him to help me feel better. He is a really kind person and very understanding but I’m afraid to put those expectations on him and make him worried.