I can’t afford therapy and nobody in my life really cares that much about me so maybe writing my problems out here will help get me through the night. 

I’ve been having a really horrible week full of nothing but frustration and sadness. I can normally put on a brave face and power through it but something happened today that just completely broke me. A friend of mine who I normally talk to when I’m feeling shitty told me I’m one of the most obnoxious people she’s met then later on in the day she hit me because I was feeling awful about what she said and avoiding her all day. 

I can normally deal with insults but it really hurts when it comes from a close friend. I’ve been trying to work on myself for months and that single comment has sent me spiraling right back into the suicidal rut I worked so hard to get out of all this time. I just want to die. Fuck it. Why even bother anymore? It’s very obvious that nobody wants me around.