Hi, I’m new here. I have lived my entire life within the confines of the most anxiety ridden brain ever. I am constantly anxious. I am outgoing and don’t want to be alone with my thoughts, but I overthink every interaction so much that I can’t even stand being around people. I’m scared I will say or do something that will be weird or annoying. I’m so afraid of being with my own thoughts that I either have to be listening to something to drown out my inner voice or be asleep. I am too anxious to get help from a doctor, which is laughable. I am so scared of my life ending and being disappointed with how I lived it. I’m anxious about writing this, my life is consumed by this and I don’t know what to do. It’s making me scared and upset constantly but I physically cannot bring myself to get help for it because it’s just so bad. I cry myself to sleep after putting on a show throughout the day. No one in my life knows what I’m going through and I don’t know how much longer I can continue living in this state. I’m sorry for rambling, I needed to get this off my chest. Sorry