i have been going to a new therapist, and she’s been great recently. we’re still scratching the surface, but making super good progress atm. but, since we’re only at the beginning, i thought it’d be appropriate to come here and ask people who have experience in this community,(not to discredit my therapist, she’s awesome). 

i have a family history of BPD from my father’s side. my grandma and my great grandmother both had different forms of it, they were both properly diagnosed but left untreated. so, that has been a driving force to lead me here. alongside the fact that i have been in what i believe to have been manic episodes. i’ve also picked up some of what i’ve come to understand to be bipolar tendencies, within these episodes. becoming intimate with people that i didn’t want to be intimate with, yelling at friends because they are being too loud or energetic, as well as going from utterly blissful to extremely overwhelmed and sad/terrified,(although, i think that that last one is compacted by crippling anxiety). i also just start pushing people away to protect them from myself, when they can clearly see that that is not the best decision. i will also state that i am very suicidal, and have been abused by “friends”.

i hope that this is enough info, and i want to say that i am not trying to necessarily self-diagnose or anything along those lines, and that i am rather just trying to get a solid opinion from what i’ve seen to be a strong community. thanks a bunch, and do not hesitate to ask questions :)