(ftr, i’m the only person referenced who has bpd)

i’ve been one of a best friend’s primary emotional support for sooo long and it’s not getting better. my therapist says i have compassion fatigue but when i google it it seems like something only people in caring professions get. so saying i have compassion fatigue from trying to support one individual feels stupid. but idk. where her negativity and self loathing used to feel contagious now i feel either numb or slightly annoyed. i don’t know how to set boundaries at this point aside from just withdrawing. we hadn’t talked in almost a week, and we talked on the phone yesterday and it sucked. 

my therapist has also said that i’m probably being triggered by our conversations which seems fair. my friend started self harming after her therapist hinted at discharging her (something she had never done before, and we’re almost 30) and thought it was okay to talk to me about it when i’m years into recovery from self injury but still struggle every day not to. idk what to do except like limit our phone calls to once a week and just suffer through them? 

i know depression makes a person selfish, but she just complains about stupid things and doesn’t seem genuinely interested in my life. we’ve been friends long enough to essentially be family but i don’t enjoy our friendship right now. my therapist had also said that where i’m in the “maintenance stage” of recovery, my friend is still in the “pre-contemplative stage,” if that means anything to you. but yeah, our friendship is not giving me much right now. 

between this, covid, issues with my coworkers due to covid, and it being january i am so fatigued i can barely function. i sleep a lot, and when i’m awake i am mostly laying on the couch exhausted. at work it’s hard to keep my eyes open no matter how much sleep or caffeine is in my system. i don’t have the energy to connect with anyone over the phone/internet or see either of the two people i’m legally allowed to see. these are apparently symptoms of “burnout” and i don’t think i can let things get any worse without them taking a major toll. 

how do you tell someone you can’t be an emotional support anymore? can i maintain the friendship? has anyone else dealt with anything similar?

idk but any feedback or advice is appreciated.