I (34F) recently met someone and there was mutual attraction. We kissed and talked about deep personal things almost immediately. She said she was in a relationship but it wasn't going well and that we should get to know each other. Later that night she came back over saying they had just broken up and suggesting she was free to flirt and make out. Eventually she left and I had casual (safe) sex with an older acquaintance for reasons that aren't completely clear to me. The shame and guilt of everything from the night before, the manic, seductive, loud, rude person I had been, were practically unbearable when I was still awake the next morning.

I avoided communication for 4 days convinced from the moment we met that, like always, our interaction wouldn't mean as much to her and I would be rejected probably sooner rather than later. When I asked her to get coffee sometime, she responded that she and her bf had gotten back together.

At that very moment, I felt an instant relief and temporary calm from the anxious thoughts of the past few days. My beliefs about my worth were "confirmed" (reinforced) and I no longer had to worry about someone liking me but inevitably leaving. They had just done the most humane thing and "left" before anything could be started.