I’ve tried so, so hard, for years. It just keeps getting worse. People always act like this is entirely my fault that I have these challenges. Yes some actions are never excusable, but blatantly mean reactions clearly will just make it worse… 

I’m not a mean person to anyone in real life but I am being a mean person. I don’t want to be like this. I just wanted to type this because I’m feeling particularly hopeless and out of control. I don’t know what I can do. I don’t understand why everyone treats it like it’s just so simple, like my brain is like everyone else’s brain, with a normal ability to control my emotions