I have been friends with benefits with this guy for 5 years, since I was 15. this past summer we spontaneously decided to go to europe together, just the two of us. we started dating, and have to do long distance while we are in college. We saw each other 1-2 times a month while doing distance, and had a seemingly perfect relationship with no fights. I haven't been diagnosed w BPD, but I am pretty sure I have it. I have self image issues, fall into depressed states with a lack of interest in everything, abandonment issues, idealization of my bf. I didn't know how much this was affecting him until he randomly broke up with me, after all of our history. He said it was distance, but it seems more like it was my dependency on him and he didn't know how to say anything. I literally did not want to do anything except talk to him and be with him and I began to dread school, my work, and stopped putting in effort to my other relationships.   


He expressed this was hard for him to do, and it is not what he wants to do as he still as strong feelings for me. He has continually reached out and said he still wants me in his life, and we are going to have a discussion about what wasn't working, if there are solutions to the problems, and evaluate if we should take a break or stay broken up. I have been focusing on my self and well being since the break up, and i can confidently say I do not need him to be okay. However, I do love him and think we have similar interests, strong feelings, and have a healthy relationship. I was not dependent on him until the last month or so, and I went through my grandfathers death, eating problems and a hard semester in school. However, I feel a lot more positive, self focused and like I can be in a relationship with him but not dependent. I am a lot more aware of my actions and intentions. How do I describe this to him? I want to make it work