  

I’m just trying to make it through today.. one day at a time, but how do you get through when you feel the “switch” coming on? I’m trying so hard to hold onto the stability I have right now, what little is there before I fall back into the worser mindset. 

I think my new medication is what’s been keeping me “up” so to speak, but I feel it fading and I’m so scared I’m about to plummet. I’m trying to stay busy and distracted and all that but holy crap every second I’m not doing something I feel it closing in more and more. I don’t want to go back there again… This new medication seems to be keeping me from doing it for a few weeks and I have really bad results with almost every single med I have ever tried… This one I have a slight hope for and I’m trying not to put too much hope into, but I can’t help but have some, and if that gets dashed I’m not sure what will happen. I’ve about all given up on medications at this point, after trying so many and having so many have such adverse effects on me… 

Does anyone have any recommendations for how “stay afloat” ? I’m hoping this will pass today but it could be the beginning of another long descent and long time down. It’s always come and gone but when it’s there, it’s so awful. When it’s gone it’s never really gone, but it’s less prominent. 

I just don’t want to sink again and I’m so afraid that’s what’s happening…