This wasn’t today, but long story short, after a few drinks, my manager and I got on the topic of mental health shit. They covered for me to higher ups when I was in the ER (for those silly BPD things), but asked what had really gone on. I did tell them because I trusted them. You know, those very black and white  “people i can trust” and “people i can’t trust” categories? Yeah, all in, here’s some info that I should really be wary of giving out. 

Skip to today, my manager was aloof at work. Maybe they were just having an off day, but it was a stark difference. They’re kindaaa my FP (I don’t have tons of friends and I avoid some of my roommates at home because of their sour and horribly fake facial expressions) because they’re consistently there for me and chill and understanding and interesting. That and they told me that they wanted to be good friends, once when we hung out outside of work. 

I swear, I’m so paranoid they’re just reading into me, assuming they think I’m a psychopath because I told them I have this illness. I fucked up. I also should have followed another friend’s advice to never become friends with a superior coworker. Maybe she’s gonna sabotage me and try and get me fired. Idk, I’ve just been in paranoia all day, during this 12 hour shift. 

Any advice or coping skills? Maybe I’m just venting? My thoughts are going miles a minute. Anyone ever have a fuckup like this?