sorry if this is a challenge to read in any way, i dont feel like caring about that right now. i am 22 year old guy and have two older sisters. one is 29 one is 26. the 29 year old one has a mental disability from when she was young she got viral meningitis and it caused a brain injury. shes great and i love her very much, she just has the maturity level of an 8 year old a lot of the time. but shes also 29 and somewhat acts 29. its very hard to describe. doctors often described it as high functioning autism which is probably the best for comparison to how she acts. she lives with my dad and me in our house. my mom lives in a nearby city. my 26 year old sister lives with her boyfriend in a nearby city. we had a somewhat unique upbringing due to my sisters disability that led to lots of stress in my family that led to my parents divorce. this is what most likely caused the anxiety and depression ive had ever since i could remember. i worry about everything.....all this said, my family still all loves each other very much. my mom and dad dont have the same relationship they used to but they still care about each other because theyre both incredible people. and they have to switch off taking care of my disabled sister (although she usually lives here with my dad and me).......my dad is the most selfless person in the world and so much of this family relies on his strength i feel like. he has taught me so much about morals and being a great person and shit. cause he is one. i know as you get older youre supposed to see more of your parents flaws, which i understand and see somewhat, but all i really realize is how much of a "saint" my dad is. like hes truly the most incredible person i know. we are the only two men in the family so weve always had a great bond....anyways today he said he had the chills and a headache and got tested for covid. my family has all been very strict about social distancing and not going out if its not super necessary. ever since all of this got serious. masks and everything. i have been mentally struggling so hard due to all this isolation obviously. i dont have a job due to anxiety and dont want to get one now due to even more anxiety cause im a bit of a hypochondriac. but the fact that he might have covid is really terrifying me. i cannot help but think of the worst outcomes. i have all these vivid imaginations of what the future could look like if he happened to pass from covid...i hate even saying that. i am so not ready for him to leave or be really hurt by this virus. i am tearing up writing this and i havent cried in like a year or more. i am so nervous and we dont even have the results yet. both of my parents are in decent shape their late 50s-60s. i dont even wanna know their exact age i am so scared of losing them. i really really really need some comfort. i have never opened up on the internet like this but i am so desperate. i keep thinking of really happy memories ive had with my dad and how great he is and its making me cry thinking about him leaving. and how much more responsibility i would have. taking care of my disabled sister is basically like taking care of a tween. she isnt able to drive and stuff.....i just feel so fucking overwhelmed and just want to know everythings going to be ok. my disabled sister doesnt seem to anxious about it, im glad. she is good at not worrying about stuff like this....ive just read so much horrible shit about covid over the past year and feel like i have bad luck very often and this is the exact type of unfair misery my life would have. but i know thats a ridiculous concept. i just need comfort or hope so fucking bad. i know theres nothing i can really do about it and theres no point of worrying but its all i can do. i dont want to check how checked out the hospitals and shit are because im too scared to research these scary ass possibilities. i live in minneapolis mn if anyone wants to see if its good or bad here. im not strong enough to right now. please any type of reassurance or comfort would mean the world times a million. i will probably delete this post eventually but i just need help.