I don't know what is wrong with me it started in early 2020 I've slowly gotten more depressed over the past two years I'm at the point to where I can't cry anymore I don't care about anything anymore I have no drive in life no motivation for anything I used to have passions in life I wanted to pursue now they don't mean shit anymore I'm in a horrible job with horrible pay and horrible health conditions I feel like everyone else in life has the script and I don't no one has ever showed any interest in being friends I'm lonely and I'm so numb emotionally and mentally I can't feel anything anymore I have no idea what to do my mind is slipping from me and I'm afraid of going insane I need help I need medication but I'm to afraid to seek help because I rely on my parents I don't want them to think it's because of them it's not my brain is just sick it's nothing they did but I'm still afraid of asking I don't want to die but I don't want to feel like nothing anymore I feel like I'm just spectating life I don't know how to express how I feel I'm a failure at everything I didn't even finish school because of my brain so I feel even more worthless someone please help me please I can't take this shit anymore I am about to break any moment