[Triggering]


No one ever fucking sticks around, ya know? Women don't like me, not really, but, I can live with that. What hurts is knowing I have absolutely no friends, not real ones. I can change however much I want, I can try and be positive, mellow, I can try to mature, and nothing changes. I'm the person everyone is willing to throw away

I give and give and give and no one is grateful, ever, ever. I just, I hate them all so fucking much, everyone, the way everyone uses me and then leaves. Only my parents are worth anything to me at this point, every other human on this planet can fucking die for all I care. 

I finally realize that there is something fundamental to what I am that makes me worthless. If I don't kill myself out of despair it will be out of my utter hatred and rage for everyone else. The New me, the mellow improved positive and content me is fucking dead and buried. I was relying on you, man, my last friend. When I kill myself I will blame him specifically, he already ruined the improvement I tried to make to myself by forcing me to realize I'm alone. 

I have no one and nothing, it's why I'll eventually slit my fucking throat.