 What is really worth occupying a humans time with? what is value or meaning or pleasures? if not just delusions, distractions, and arbitrary values we give things? Must we find meaning or must meaning find us? and don't some of us never find such things? Are these things just distractions in themselves? is finding meaning not just another maze we are never meant to escape? from my perspective meaning is no different from a religion just something we believe to have value because one has tricked himself into seeing value where none exists. And I wouldn't say this is wrong in itself why is it wrong to delude oneself if he enjoys such delusions? as all actions is for the self regardless of the altruistic outcomes. Am I bored because I lack creativity? have I tricked myself into wanting the unobtainable? The fruit of truth is bitter and unsatisfying, you spend time learning and absorbing information just to reflect on how little you actually know, and the cycle repeats itself, until you are nothing but the personification of indifference, you do not want and when you do, it is only to be freed from your limitation of your physical form; As this form does tire of such monotonous and seemingly futile tasks; My resolve for truth does not surpass my biological needs, as both are one in the same, and so I find myself feeding my needs only to feed my desires for truth, that seems to have no more purpose than to keep me alive as long as possible to increase my chances of reproduction, this tricky thing we call evolution has a way of using everything we do and think to it's own ends even if it becomes futile in the end. And so Why truth over delusion? though I cannot see a way to go back into delusion as Pandora's box is already opened in my case, I don't see why I must put so much value on truth, anymore than on delusions or lies, and so why must I strive so much if it's all just for this individual I call "me", why must I feed his desire for truth, it only tears him apart, it only causes him insatiable amounts of boredom, not even an ounce of anger from his inadequateness to fuel his drive to truth but instead feelings of boredom, angst, tiresomeness, depression are his results in return, and all to feed his ego, this primate, this human, this "I" evolved from ape. This journey of life has been this "I" chasing a banana, no different from any animal before him. My banana just happened to be called "truth", some call their banana's love, power, ambition, uniqueness, fame, skill, food, drugs, sex, entertainment, danger etc. But it all ends the same, you may change the cause &amp; effect route of the world but what do such things matter when you were always destined to do so, even before you had thought of your desires, the variables were already in place to set you on such a path, and some may enjoy the path laid before them, but mine seems rather dull, repetitive, and most importantly in vain. Though things do change in appearance, the underlining fundamentals never really change at all.