i haven’t felt this way in a long time. i hate the constant heartache of wanting someone you can’t have. that painful sinking feeling in your chest each time something triggers it. every time they make you laugh or smile or want them all for yourself, you have to hold back the tears. trying your goddamn hardest to not show any interest even though it slips out sometimes. WANTING to show interest but knowing it’ll make things really awkward and ruin everything you have with them. and once it’s out you can’t go back and you know if it’s out then it’ll all hurt even more. i don’t want to cry anymore. this hurts more than anything. i don’t know how to make it stop. i don’t know how to change my feelings. please make it stop.