So since the beginning of the pandemic my anxiety skyrocketed and I would have anxiety attacks for weeks after having the smallest interactions with people. I’ve been so afraid of contracting this virus because illnesses like colds and the flu tend to be really bad for me.
Christmas and New Years I started feeling really hopeful. There is a vaccine rolling out and i could see the light at then end of a very long and dark tunnel. I did what was right, I stayed away from people, I wore my mask, I limited my risks as much as I could. But I guess my luck just didn’t hold out into the new year. 
I tested positive today.  I’ve been feeling a little sick for 4 days and the very first symptom I showed I called my doctor. I know I tend to be a bit of a hypochondriac about these things so I thought for a little bit it was all in my head. But then my husband said he lost his smell and taste and I knew. 
So a years worth or worry and anxiety and avoiding crowds and family get togethers and working from home and I still end up catching it. 
My anxiety has only gotten worse. I keep thinking of the worst case scenarios and what will happen to my son if something should happen to me. I’m terrified and anxious and also really pissed off. I feel like I’m going through the 5 stages of grief and it hasn’t even been that bad yet. I’m scared for the future, mad at whoever gave it to my husband who gave it to me (he still has to go to work while I work from home) wishing this was not something I have to go through and just depressed that it’s happening at all. I want to scream and cry and lash out at everyone and everything but I can’t. I have to take care of my kid and myself. I just needed an outlet to get all this off my chest somewhere.  I keep telling myself it’s mild so far maybe it will be over quickly and it won’t be that bad but then my mind starts to wander and I go down the dark path and I get really depressed and anxious. 

TL;DR I’ve been anxious about covid since the start, panicked about it for a year now and I was just diagnosed with it today and I’m not handling it very well.