I haven’t been taking care of my hygiene as much as I should be and I have had little to no motivation to study for my college classes. My fiancé is struggling to help me emotionally because nothing he says seems to make me feel any better about myself. I have extremely low self esteem due to many adults over the years always saying negative things about me and my personality. I hardly had any positive encouragement from the adults in my life. I have gone low contact with my toxic family members but even in the times I do contact them they still manage to say something that makes me feel bad about myself. I think extremely low of myself and its been getting harder and harder for me to handle even small criticisms. I’ve always masked how I feel about criticisms but now that my mental health is getting worse its getting harder and harder to do that. I know I need to get professional help, but I am still a dependent under my parents insurance. They have to have an explanation for everything so I would have to explain why I’m getting help to them. If I don’t explain it they keep pressing me until I tell them. It’s very frustrating and I feel really stuck. My fiancé and I have discussed just having a courthouse wedding so that way I won’t have to worry about my family’s opinions anymore, but we have already started planning a wedding that my family wants to pay for and we really wanted a nice wedding. Its so hard for me to make tough decisions like that when I am already dealing with depression. My family makes drama out of everything and it is so draining for both me and my fiancé. I’m so thankful that he has stuck by my side through all of this. However, I’m at a total loss of what to do about my mental health and I just need some positive encouragement, advice, and/or support.