&gt; i saw you today
after two months 
of silence
you embraced me 
like you do
with kindness.
you’re as soft as i remember.

we sat
and talked for a while
i know you wanted 
me to stay
i know i wanted to
as well
so i did
and we talked
about things you had missed
and i told you i missed you
and you
repeated
my words back to me
again you filled the space
you left 
last time
a rush
of fleeting thrill
i’m buzzing
it’s pounding in my head
“are you going to come back?”

again in your arms
they reminded me 
time never existed 
when i was with you
and you sent me
all around 
the world and back 
again 
again 
and again
within 
the hour 
you spent 
interested in me
interested in
the hours of mine
you had missed

i know that face
those eyes
soft
not cold
gentle
the jewels 
i so dearly adore
i know the way
they looked at me
you forget
how easy you are 
to read
and read i did
your pages 
i turn
paper edges so 
rough
you remember how my
fingers deal
and you let it
because you like it
you liked the softness
in the tips of my
pink fleshy 
fingers
you liked the way they
brought you home
the way i’d wrap them
around you
my hands became your hips
and you hadn’t felt that
in a while
and you welcomed it
you let yourself 
be read
and read i did

i knew you were hurting
you apologised
for letting me break 
you blame yourself 
you tell me you thought
you killed me
and i told you 
it would be okay
if you did

the rain 
bundled quietly
in your locks
and my god
i was
a fool
i pushed your hair
behind your ears
like i did when we 
were in love
and you let me
you let me love you
in the rain again
for an hour
the softest hour
i’ve known
since you broke 
my heart
two months ago

i’m feeling
something
i’m feeling
for the first time 
since it happened
and it’s washing over me
and yet again
you’re another first
of mine
the first time
i’ve let you love me
when we both know 
you shouldn’t
even though
i want you to
and i let it
consume me
and return it’s way
back into your
heart
the first time 
i’ve been in control 
of my intake
my consumption
of you
but this makes you
a part of this first
i hope to god
you’ll be my last