I am currently finishing a bachelors degree, but I struggle with procrastination. l have less than a month time to apply for an internship, which is probably impossible. 

For a long time I felt like a dissapointment, because I wasn't improving my skills these last years. I have no portfolio and a lot of bad grades, because I always study or work last minute. It's causing me to have no confidence in my skills and I am afraid to go out there and show my "skills".

Because of covid I had to move back with my parents and there I struggle to work from home even more. I am currently not sending out applications. I have always moved my exams and still have to catch up to those. Now my parents think I will cancel my studies and sometimes mock me that I will work shitty jobs in the future which makes me feel bad even more. I know that I struggle with being responsible in my studies, but I still want to finish my degree. I at least manage to get SOME things done each semester.

Today they want to talk to me and I am scared, because I never could explain them how I feel at the moment. That I am depressed and tired and all. They know I go to therapy and take antidepressants but they still scold me that I just shouldn't be lazy. 

I think I just wanted to get this off my chest somewhere. I know that should just get more responsible and get work done. At least my medication is making everythink less stressful.