I constantly go through the cycles of wanting to propose to my girlfriend, run away and live alone with her in the middle of nowhere, and feeling like I should break up with her right now, even though I love her? It’s really confusing, and can flip so fast... I’m afraid that I will break up with her in one of those down moments and then will have to beg her to take me back. I almost broke up with her before multiple times, had to basically put my phone far away and go for a walk to distract myself from these thoughts. I feel like I’m a burden to her and she deserves to be treated much better. Plus I talk about my exes way too much... I don’t know how she tolerates me at all.