How does one say so little but have so much to say, but yet doesn’t say anything, then repetitively apologizes, making my own self feel crazy yet, is aware but can’t seem to control the situation, like yin and Yang back and forth, once I get consumed I just shut down and then after everything that just happen, go on like it never happened but have it live in your head, why is it that I feel no one cares, but I know they care, yet still feel uncomfortable being vulnerable but knowing that talking and feeling it out will make me feel better, but there no one really to talk to cause I hate the feeling that someone listening to me and hear the shit I say makes me seem crazy sad confused and shit, cause the words can’t be place correctly, how have I come to a conclusion to better myself and actually make progress but then this wave of negative energy come through and gets me feeling incoherent, a cycle a loop that goes on and on and I see the pattern clear as day now but yet get consumed no amount of preparation is enough, how is it that I get consumed by my lower frequency and project my energy into the future creating some bullshit reality, when I’m capable of creating a good one but yet get struck down twice the amount I have risen, so am I just reaching a height that I been before but forgot the feeling, or am I just living in the past still without realizing thus creating my future and not being able to stay in an unknown environment cause the comfort zone is where control lies,