Hi. This is about to have me ranting about a stressful event. Please go away since you can still do it ha.

So I'm currently taking Seroquel and another medication that's (I assume) not available in the US nor the UK. The last one is only when I'm feeling like I'm going to do an anxiety/panic attack (I don't know the difference)

I'm a very anxious person and these last months were the worst I ever went through, I would not be able to go in school and if I gathered all my courage to go there, it would be impossible to stay calm, I just had to leave the classroom if not being laid down and comforted (I know, it's dumb but it can work)
These times around I would do an hour long attack every fucking day. It's exhausting and makes you feel like shit when you obviously don't need it. They were not the ones when you feel only your hearts beating faster, my whole body would shake, hands and feet freeze and I wasn't able to breathe. At all. Like there was no air anymore. I would choke from it. Couldn't see either.

The thing is that I haven't done one in a small month (feels like an entire year) but here comes the issue.
On Friday, there's this oral I have to do and it stresses me out crazy, I even had nightmares about it, I cry thinking about it.
I'm just scared to break down arriving there, not being able to talk and all. I feel like I'm going to die. I honestly don't even know if I'm going to go. 

If I break down, I'll be so disappointed of me and I'll feel shitty for the following two months.
I can't also take the other medication in that situation because I need to be able to concentrate and it just makes me sleepy.

Thank you for reading, I just need someone to reassure me tbh :)