I don’t know why I’m posting here. I’m just lonely. I feel annoying and useless. I’m selfish and I feel guilty because I’m lucky. But I’m really sad. I don’t know if I want anyone to talk to me or comfort me. I just needed to shout into the void i guess. My parents don’t care what I have to do they just get mad if I inconvenience them. 

My partner won’t talk to me about how he’s feeling and I don’t want to push him too far but it’s taking a toll on me. I don’t have any real friends because I distance myself from everyone subconsciously. I used to be bubbly and fun at work and now it’s just grinding on. I’m scared of uni starting next semester because I know I won’t be motivated enough to pull through. I just don’t like who I am anymore. 

I want to be better and smarter and prettier and more motivated. I want people to listen to me and care about me but at the same time I don’t think I deserve it. I have to force myself to eat and I always feel like throwing up but I don’t want to seem like I’m seeking attention. I’m just going insane with nobody to vent to. I feel the constant need to apologise for my existence. I don’t know. I’m just lonely.