So I feel like a lot of people with BPD can empathize with feeling like everyone secretly dislikes you and doesn’t want to be friends/have any relationship with you. I feel like this almost all the time but I’m not sure if it has some basis in reality or not. Basically I attempted and dropped off the radar months ago and no one I knew checked in on me or wanted to talk with me about anything that happened. Not even like a how are you doing? or anything. Even now after intense therapy and me trying to reach out and be understanding, I still feel like people are avoiding me. People won’t text me back and literally no one will text me without me initiating it, not even during quarantine when nearly everybody is literally not busy at all.
And I’ve had experiences with friends where we have kind of a falling out with someone in the circle and if we can’t/don’t want to resolve it we kind of just let them fade out of friendship with us. I have a feeling I’m that friend now that everyone dislikes but no one wants to confront about it because they don’t want to hurt my feelings, though in reality it hurts so much. Any other people have similar experiences? It’s like if I don’t constantly put all of the emotional work into relationships they just end because other people don’t reciprocate.