I tell myself ‘well, I’ve already made a major asshole out of myself, why not go down swinging?’

So I just become exponentially worse. And still expect people to forgive me. 

I get so, inexplicably angry. Ready to start a fight.

And then I get those moments of ‘holy shit, what are you doing?! Stop!’

And then I ignore it and keep making it worse and digging myself deeper. And then I cause a storm. I’m definitely not forgiven then.