Neither do I have any siblings, nor I have any cousins to talk to. My father has three sisters and all of their kids are either 20 years older than me or 9-10 year old kids, plus we don't talk ***at all*** as everyone has their own different family of their father side.. 

Speaking of my mom's side.. She has one brother and he has an 8 year old kid. Whenever he comes at my home he touches all my things in my room which is like adding salt on wound for any only child who has absolutely no one around him of his age to share things, thoughts.. 

My school days were hell for me.. Every year we had parents teacher meeting thrice and at one point I realized every year #atleast thrice I'm going to get beaten by my parents by belt for either misbehaving in class or for performing poor in my exams.. Only one time I wasn't got beaten by my parents when my teacher told my dad that I played very good for the school team and I'd never forget that teacher and that day for my entire life.. Whenever I cried I cried alone, no one was around me to comfort me or distract me from the scoldings I used to get from my parents.. I was used to get bullied in school for being the quiet kid. The bullied at my age of 18... i.e till my high school.

Whenever my parents forcefully took me to some family function or gathering, I would sit somewhere attending my online classes and my parents would say socialize with elders and don't be antisocial. 

I entered my high school and I made friends but didn't able to cope up with them as my parents won't let me hang out with them. The first time I ever went to any place other than college with my friends to hang out was when I was 19 years old. That too I didn't tell them that I was going to a mall with friends and was super nervous entire time whether anyone would see me and would tell my parents.. 

Right now at 22nd year of my life.. My relationship with parents had improved as I never FUCKING back answered them and they might have realised that he is taking a lot of shit upon himself after watching how the other grown up kids of their (my parent's) siblings behave and back answer the shittiest way they could.. 

But now my childhood has affected me a lot.. I'm still single as it's SUPER HARD for me to understand how relationships works, how to handle things in relationship and taking decisions like spending money on a girl scares the shit out of me as I never knew how much is worth spending on someone cus for me even spending 5 dollars on me makes me think should I even buy this, no matter how much I need that thing... Getting anxiety attacks whenever I want to approach a girl, it has become a daily routine for me now... 

My graduation friends were the only best thing in my life and now no one is around me as every is studying abroad. But still we do zoom calls much often and talk to each other.. 

I am right now pursuing my masters degree in biotechnology and no one, NOT A SINGLE PERSON in my class speaks any language that I understand.. Others those who speak my language are from other branch and the idea of initiating conversations with them is SUPER ANXIETY THING FOR ME.. 

If you have read all this I would be extremely happy if you share your thoughts upon this.. I cried like a baby while typing all this..