Hey. Long story short. I'm 21yo male, in depression since 18. The thing is... I had friends before I turned 18 and life had never felt mostly dark for me. Because I was in school, I genuinely had fun among my peers. But everyone disappeared in a month after we graduated. Everyone kinda moved somewhere, me too. 

Since then I always was kinda not okay. I can't enjoy life. People always used to say "What a beautiful weather, dont you see?" I didn't.

And so I started to grow. I went for different types of goals. Money; moving to a different country (tried that twice, ended up coming back, losing a hell lot of money); working out (I always feel better after a jog, guess it's because of endorphins?). But nothing helped.

So here I am, spending three years doing the wrong stuff. I thought, maybe it's just because I don't have friends? People are social creatures, maybe that could be the case? But I find it very tough to even have a talk with someone, because I'm too insecure and I always think that the person I'm talking to thinks about my appearance (I think im ugly, yes)

So, is there anyone who maybe wants to be friends with me, not just to support me, but genuinely meet someone else?