Life doesn’t make sense to me and I feel like a sensitive robot that watches the world go by as a different species enjoys theirs.

I remember being happy as a kid, but now I’m 29.  My friends have either moved away or have families and therefore have no time for me and I understand.  I have a decent job and no financial difficulties.  I’m just so lonely and it just gets harder and harder to pretend I’m okay as time goes by.

I just don’t get the game of life. I’ll walk outside and I’ll see people in groups having fun and feel like an outcast.  It was so easy when I was a kid, you walk up to someone else and that was that, you would be friends.  But now that I’m 29, it’s never been so hard.  I don’t get what I’m doing wrong.  It feels like nobody in the world has time for me anymore.  Outside of work, I feel useless.  

Relationships are even harder, I still don’t get it.  I want to meet someone, but it’s getting too hard to get your hopes crushed over and over.  At this point, I’ve all but given up.  I don’t want to do tinder and spend a year just to have a few dates that lead to nothing the next day.  I want to meet a meaningful person that will bring joy and meaning to my life.  But it won’t happen.  I won’t get my hopes up again.  I know better now.

Am I just broken?