So, I work for my parents. I have for a couple of years after my last breakdown. I don't know how I could work in any other place; I can't think of the first time I start crying and I have to explain to them what's wrong with me, how much I should explain, and I feel dishonest in job applications not disclosing my mental illness. But my relationship with my parents is also very toxic. It is wearing on me to the point where I've self-harmed for the first time in about 4 years. If I can't work for anyone else and I can't work for my parents, how do I make work? I've done 15 years of therapy (probably about 5 years of USEFUL therapy after getting the correct diagnosis) and have met a wonderful man who I have an incredibly supportive relationship with. But we are lower middle class and we both need to work; we both have some costly but necessary expenses (therapy and medication). Right now, I'm trying to look at work from home, call center, or freelance jobs, but there are so many scams and it's highly competitive. My dad thinks I'm being a quitter and just need a medication change. He is always urging me to work hard for more success, for us to move into a house and out of our apartment. I don't want anything except a roof over my head, my husband, pets, and sanity. I don't want more and better. I just want to survive. Yet I'm at work and I hear relentless negativity from my parents. My dad says things like "your mind is what you decide it to be" which I've explained to him over and over essentially says to me that I'm mentally ill because I choose to be. I feel so lost right now. I'm about to turn 30. I don't want to rock bottom again. I've crashed and shut down so many times when thing became too hard. I can't lose what I have worked so hard for, this beautiful relationship and our home. Even if you just read this and say, it sucks, well it just helps me to shout this into the void. Thank you for anyone reading. 