I'm 23(m) has a religious family and when I was a kid I always pray for a happy life and I did made good deeds and choices, I was happy and but I don't know why I was still bullied in my Highschool for being a go lucky person, I did not make any friends even though I also smile at people, They kept bullying me until I was in 12th grade and I always pray for them to be good to me since 6th grade, My family always told me that "Pray to god and He will always answer your prayers" and I always pray.

Am I the asshol* for not believing in god?
because in reality even though you made good deeds and always been good people will always make or find something to torture you and make you miserable.

My classmates/schoolmates punched me and tease me without any reasons (I already told my teachers about this but they just been scolded and they still bullied me). I always hate school and suddenly at 10th grade I became a suicidal person and I always tell my family I need help but they always say is "PRAY" and it will go away.

I always find something sharp and small and poke my thighs because they can't see it and whenever I feel stressed or I want to cry, instead I just hurt myself to make myself better, It's been 11 years.

I haven't told any of my friends cause I don't have any. They just use me for my money and if I don't have money they ignored me. I have told my family but they just judge me for being myself and told me to pray.

Today I told them I don't believe in god and they just feel disappointed in me and yelled at me. 

What did I do wrong? I just want to be happy that's all, all I want is to be loved is that a really hard thing to do?? 

I want to disappear quitely.