I don’t know.

As time goes on I feel like I’m becoming more of a different person. 

More agitated. More impatient. 

Like I’m slowly losing my sanity. My anger towards life, my friends and the people I love, growing like a dull, weighted tumour in my mind. 

My chest constantly tight; an anvil bolted to my torso. Anxiety, guilt and loneliness running rife, hunting down and stamping out any remaining happiness I had, like a fox running from the hunt. 

I feel empty but at the same time full of rage. Im slowly growing more insane, my mind is changing and it’s changing the person I once was. 

Im pushing my friends away. Im struggling at work. Im lazy. Im at a point where I can no longer comprehend a happy, long and fulfilling life for myself.

What do I tell my fiancé? They have enough shit on their plate. Perhaps I should get help before the point of no return.