So I'll try to make the background brief. My mom died in February, a few days before my birthday, and we have to move out of her house because the executor of the estate has sold it. We were living there thinking we were going to buy it, but my dad went back on yet another promise. Now we're in crunch time and the lawyer has this jerk hauling junk away from the house that we're not keeping for our new apartment. And oh boy is this guy condescending. The details of the conversation aren't important, but let's say it made me eye the random kitchen knife near by with longing. And not to use on me, if you catch my drift. 

But I actually went inside and used skills I've been taught over the years. I'm about to start DBT, so soon I'll be able to actually name what I'm doing, because I know it has a name. But basically I just was breathing and I washed my face with a washcloth (I had been crying). And it actually worked! I was able to survive until they left without things escalating. 

And \*then\* I was talking to my husband and really laying into him about something he's been doing recently, just kind of pushing my boundaries on when I say I'm done with an activity. We're currently under a time crunch, so I get it. But I'm really starting to freak when he does it. Anyways, I was mad at him and everything, then I remembered feelings-first language or whatever it's called. So I tried to access my feelings and explain them to him. It seemed like he really received them. He said something really triggering next and I went off again, but I reeled it back in (again) and used my feelings to communicate. He responded even better the second time!

I'm really proud of myself right now and I just wanted to tell people who would understand.