I'm scared that I'll permanently harm him and traumatize him. He had verbally abusive people in his life before but I'm probably the worst. I'm only recently diagnosed and still looking for a therapist to treat me. I am not always like that but i get so easily triggered and overwhelmed when we disagree about something. I don't wanna hurt him. I always apologize but i know it leaves scars. He already often is scared to share his opinions to me. I wish he would just leave me already bc i can't forgive myself doing this to him. I really care but when i get overwhelmed it's so hard for me to control myself. He obviously gets overwhelmed in the moment too.
We had agree to take breaks when discussing things so i can calm down first before we continue a conversation but we forget to implement it in the moment. I