What do the body's of this sub do when it literally hurts to even exist? I've been fluctuating so hard the past few months, like atleast when I'm really depressed, I can count on being depressed, ik that sounds crazy but it's my truth. I was having what seemed like a break through last month, my mood was steadily up, I felt positive about my future, I had adopted better eating habits and cleaning habbits... now these past couple weeks it's been a steady decline in stability, outbursts of rage, deep isolation, ever with therapy(I probably need to tell my therapist I need appointments closer together). Yelling at my boyfriend at work when he texts other female " friends" from highschool. I just feel like an enormous burden on him, on society, on my work place. I dont feel supported by my family either. Ik they love me but if I tell them I'm depressed the first thing they ask is why. I mean I can draw lines to a few things but it's never that easy to just pin down for me. Maybe it is for someone who is not bpd but right now it feels like my mere existence is inconvenient for everyone involved with me. I just want to stop hurting. I want to stop hurting others and above all I just want to care about myself enough to not yearn for someone else to fill the void for me. Thank you for reading.