I’m 18 and I was raised/being raised in a mentally abusive and emotionally tyrannical household with my mother. I’ve been told I have sadism because I haven’t felt anything except agony, depression, anxiety, and emptiness since I was 10. I want to die but I can’t let my little brother stay in that house alone without me. I’ve had/have suicidal thoughts about everyday now and recently I began speculating on how to successfully carry it out. The only people I have is my little brother (who steals, smoked weed, and fights at 12 years old) and my cousin who is 2 states away. I don’t know how long I can take this for.