Basically like the title says. Came out to my parents as nonbinary trans last year and one of them has been god awful about it and asked me recently if it was just a phase and started crying when I asked them to use masculine terms in the language we speak at home. Being around them, specifically the one who is taking it harder, has been awful and it makes me want to die. I don’t want to die because idk who would take care of my cats and I would miss them a lot. There’s also things I want to experience that I haven’t yet. But I just don’t want to be alive either because this is so much. Between grad school and coming out, I don’t want to deal with anything anymore and it’s so fucking hard. My therapist retired out of the blue last month and idk y’all. I finish school in 4 weeks but idek if I’ll get my thesis done. Fucking hell I just want want to be okay and not feel like this. Fuck life fuck whatever is making me feel like this. I hate that the happiest I’ve been lately has been when I’m dreaming