CW abuse, grooming

So... It happened again... I have an FP. And it's only for the worse on my side. Before I met my previous FP I didn't know what an FP was and I felt absolutely disgusting for my behavior and hated myself for it. Obsession, I called it.
My previous FP said that having an FP doesn't have to be bad. Well... It is traumatic for me because of my previous FPs, which some of them (most of them anyway) abused me and one of them groomed me. 

So... How do I make myself believe that having an FP isn't bad? Or is it really bad?