I just want to be happy. But every time something good happens to me it’s instantly extinguished. I want to be happy and not feel like shit when I’m alone. I’ve self harmed in the past numerous times, I’ve tried alc to numb the pain, and fuck I even tried taking medicine. All of these help temporarily but I saw all of them start to take over my life. Both of my sides would hurt everytime I would try and go to sleep. I can only sleep if I take melatonin. And all my parents give a shit about are my grades in school. It feels like no matter what happens I can’t do anything right. I’ve been cheated on, rejected, and told I’m not good enough my partners and my own family. I’m just tired. I’ve been clean from pills for a month and a half. But now I just want to relapse to being numb from all the pain. I’m just unhappy all the time, every single moment. Can anyone help me?