I rather feel anything else. Anger, fury, sadness, anything... I rather go through a horrible break up that makes me want to commit suicide (like my last break up, thought it was the worst feeling in the world but surprisingly boredom is worse...)

Boredom makes me do the most destructive things, it’s ruining my life because I get so agitated if there is nothing going on that I get myself in dangerous situations and honestly day by day it gets worse, I’m pretty sure i’ll end up getting killed this way.

I always get suggestions that I should read, go out for a walk, distract myself, etc. It just doesn’t work. I need to do drugs, I need to binge drink, get in fights, pull of stunts and feel fear and chaos to get rid of it. I also get so angry easily when I’m bored so it’s ruining my relationships too. What on earth can I even do at this point :( 