I am struggling with so much self-hatred that it's hard to get by every day. I feel as if everyday is just a struggle and I feel as if God as fucking with me with the shit he put in my head. I do admit I have to be fortunate about myself but my self-hatred is out of control. I can never be satisfied with the way I look.

Offcourse self-hatred is not the only contribution to my upset or severe sadness but it makes a great one. Its very difficult to look at myself I just get disgusted knowing I could be better. I want this self-hatred to stop because its killing me it really is. I really can't look at the mirror, whenever I'm brushing my teeth I just look away.
Also I started to hate showering even though I love to be clean. 

I just want to be happy about myself for once...