I need fucking therapy. I need to stop living in a fucking ghetto. I need to leave my house, an d do stuff. Every day is the same. nothing changes. My thoughts and behaviour is becoming more and more erratic. I haven't left my house for more that couple of hours in years. I just sit here, doing stupid shit. Learning useless shit. Web development, hoped to get a job. Haha, another failure. Now trying to learn math, to actually finish highschool (at the ripe age of 25) and somehow get into a university. So I just sit if front of my computer for hours learning math all day. I fucking hate math, always did. Now, my only plan for the future is to spend the next year doing nothing but learning math, and going to other classes. Im fucking suck and tired of this life. I'm fucking suck and tired doing things I hate in hopes of improving my circumstances and then failing miserably. I'm such a fucking failure. I'm such a fucking pathetic loser. I just want my life to end. Every day is the same. It's just exactly the same shit, but worse. I never leave my house, I never do anything. I can't make myself get a job, I tried many times but I just can't. Im such I fucking loser that I'd rather literary starve, and not have anything in my life, than work. I just can't force myself to do it. I just can't get out of this hole. I'm surrounded by misery, failed broken people. Everything is getting worse. I can't do anything. I can't change a fucking thing. I can't change anything about my life. I need therapy, but I can't afford it. It's useless anyway. It's all a bunch of lies and bullshit. I've tried everything there is to try to help myself. But nothing fucking helps. Nothing nothing. And then I just write a whiny post on Reddit, like some kind of a bitch, like that going to help me. And then I go to sleep, and then it's just another day of misery. The cycle starts again. This fucking time loop, this groundhog Day, never fucking ends. I've been writing these little posts here, since I was 16. Fucking 16… and since then my life have only gotten worse. When will this end?