Hello all. I (24, non-binary) was diagnosed with BPD about two and a half years ago. I’m here because I do not know what to do.

I have had a really rough July. My symptoms have been really bad. I have felt like everyone hates me and that people only talk to me because they have some ulterior motive or want to hurt me. I deleted all my social media, stopped talking to all my friends, and have been really hurtful towards a lot of them to make them leave me forever. I have had those naughty nasty thoughts that I shouldn’t be here, and I am really suffering with what feels like extreme depression. It doesn’t help that our dog, who I sometimes hang out with as a form of coping skill, was attacked the other day. I know I need help but don’t want it because I feel I don’t deserve it. I have hated myself so much recently and I am at a point where I feel like the meds and therapy doesn’t work. I need help but do not know where to start.