First post so go easy on me.

&amp;#x200B;

At this point I've run out of reasons to even why I feel this way. Every time life feels like it's finally getting better, the next week everything falls apart. I hit my first low point in my life in late 2020, a bit after COVID hit. It was really tough, but I eventually managed to get through it. But since then it's been just up and down with the recessions feeling hopeless every time.  If it's not obvious, I'm in one of those recessions, but most likely I'll find new motivation in around a week, only to be crushed by the next one. Each time though, it gets worse and worse. Idk if this is a common thing for people who have been depressed before or if I'm just that much of a fuck up. I'm at a point now where I do everything in my power to try and not soak up the good moments in life, because then it will hurt more the next time my life goes to shit. I like to believe that I haven't aged since late 2020, and that I'm not moving forward because that's honestly how I feel. Every step forward leads to two steps back and at this point, idk what to do. I see no future for myself, I see no way to improve upon myself, and if there's a light at the end of the tunnel then it's slowly covering itself up.

&amp;#x200B;

Thanks for taking the time to listen to read about my troubles, I may come back to this post depending on how I'm feeling in the near future.