I’m 26 F undiagnosed BPD. Pretty sure I have it from the symptoms and everything aligns but too scared to go to the doctors. I seem to ruin every potential relationship I get into and within a month I ruin it by being insulting, childish and pushing the guy away then apologising for my actions saying I didn’t mean it then chasing them. I then claim they are using me for sex because they’ve not messaged in “3/4 days” and I go off on one sending paragraphs. It’s very self sabotaging. I act on emotions then completely regret it then the guys don’t even want to remain even “friends” because they think I’m an absolute nut and think I’m abusive. it’s so hard. I’m an pretty attractive girl but it’s like I can’t keep it going before I explode at the guy because he isn’t giving me the attention I want or I think he has a motive to hurt me. I get attached too quickly and then manipulate and insult them after I sleep with them. The last guy I was dating who was 20M said “you’re a good person and a cool girl but yeah let’s not talk but I’ll say hi if I see you out” as in he must think I’m crazy. I’ve lost so many potential boyfriends through this :( Do I need therapy? Can anyone relate to this?