Honestly I could live with the fucking rollercoaster of being BPD if I could just manage to be a productive human being. All the other stuff I'm already kinda used to or have under control, but the one thing that really grinds my gears is how unproductive I am. I'm a smart guy, funny, charismatic, etc. I always think I'd make a great vlogger or stand-up comedian, something like that. Hell even a cobbler or an entrepreneur, whatever. But I have to be the most unproductive human being on the planet. Days just slip thru fingers like sand in an hour glass. The only times I manage to get myself doing stuff and being "productive" is when I'm involved in some sort of criminal activity. But I'm too old for the dumb shit. And I don't wanna be that guy. I start my day with a cup of coffee and think about how much time I have and all the stuff I'm gonna get done, and before I know it, it's evening and I realize I've just been bouncing from one distraction to another actually accomplishing very little, overall I accomplish the bare minimum to get by. Day after day, year after year at this point. My life feels pointless. I'm not doing anything significant. My youth is fading away fast into the rear view, and it's depressing the ever living fuck outta me. 

Hands up if you can relate. Drop a comment if you have some solid advice. 

Thank you