I started disassociating tonight.
It felt like my voice disappeared from my inner monologue and was replaced with other people's voices. Who were talking about me like 
"munkey_23 doesn't give a fuck, he's a bad ass."
Blah Blah Blah
They're like daring me to do stuff that I might regret. Describing all these grandiose scenarios about how great I am and how I can get through anything.
It's almost like mythmaking about myself.
It's like stuff that a "talking head" would say about a celebrity in a documentary.

Peers telling stories about your supposed greatness etc
It comes when I'm dealing with disappointment, it's like a protective thing I think. It's like these voices know exactly how to massage my ego, and I just go on walks and these voices chatter away in my head. 
It started today because I didn't win an award in my program.
I could maintain these thoughts until later at night. Then they sorta took over and it was like my inner voice left the building. 
Since I started writing this post, I've noticed that they have died down.
It's almost like there's memory loss involved. Like it's a blur almost.

I'm feeling tired about having voices in my head that do this.
I'm glad that I'm acknowledging it and recognizing it when it happens.