I have always been the one having breakdowns and needing comfort and talking down from the ridiculously high levels of distress from triggers that can come out of nowhere. I hate being 'that' person and I want more than anything to be as supportive of my friends and partner as they are of me. But whenever someone else gets upset I freak out and do not know how to deal with it. When my partner (we live together, which makes it even harder) gets really upset I start to panic and have a fight or flight response--either WE NEED TO FIX THIS RIGHT NOW or I run away. (Or I get really really really angry--proven to make things 100% worse.)

I can't tell if seeing someone else having high levels of emotion is triggering for me or if it's more a matter of me 'catching' the emotion... or something else? I'm having the classic bpd "this makes me a bad person" monologue (and trying to keep it at bay by checking the facts). Does anyone else have trouble with this? How do I teach myself to be less panicky and more supportive?