I have a cheating spouse who I haven’t left yet. I cut off my family and I haven’t had friends in a long time. 


His mother called me and asked me how I’m doing because she was worried about me. I told her I’m still not over him cheating on me. (This is the second time I caught him). Last year he admitted to “texting” two prostitutes, setting appointments with them, and “not going”. I think you, the reader, and I are both smart enough to know what really transpired. There are other things he did but that stands out. Her response was to tell me that other people have bigger problems than the ones I’m crying about, and to let it go because I “decided” to stay with him (I’m not here because I want to be, I’m here because I’m having trouble finding and keeping a job). She also told me he told her that he suffers a lot, since I found out, because he worries about doing even normal things for fear that I’ll freak out for no reason. 

I’m not feeling well right now. I cut contact with my mom because she’d make me feel the way I feel right now. And I can’t handle this. I feel like I can’t handle this. I wish I could talk to even one person who could be like, yeah I understand, people can be really shitty sometimes, instead of telling me to forgive people who repeatedly hurt me after I trust them not to hurt me. 

I don’t know why everything is my fault but I must just be that bad of a person. So bad that when people hurt me I deserve it. 