hey everybody,

Due to my depression, anxiety and insomnia I was prescribed Mirtazapine 15 mg 4 weeks ago. At first it made me fall asleep pretty soon after taking it, but the past 2 weeks I have been noticing that I have been lying awake for the minimum of 1 hour (which is not tragic, but still kinda strange bc the first 2 weeks it made me fall asleep 15 mins in).. it also makes me increadibly hungry, which is not a big problem as i dont put on weight easily, still the constant hunger annoys me.. i remember the first two weeks i felt like my depression and anxiety were worse than before, but i have heard that thats supposed to be normal and besides i was just happy to fall asleep so easily! two days ago my depression got really really bad, to a point i didnt even know i could reach. in the past months i have always thought about dying, but yesterday and today were the first times where i actually thought about how I would do it and I just felt like i had to free myself from my pain. I know that I might just need a higher dosage, or maybe Mirtazapine takes up to 6 weeks in order to work or I might have to switch to different meds, but my problem is that I just dont want any of that. I dont want to go through anything atm, I just want to die, I want my doctor to put me on some pills that will immediately help and i know that depression is a jouney and you have to be pacient but i just can not deal with it anymore and the thoughts about ending it all have never been so loud and desperate before