I’m trying to get a job 1) so I don’t starve and 2) so I can escape a toxic home on a more permanent basis. Rejection after rejection later I finally got a chance. 

They want a video application. 

The biggest triggers of my panic/anxiety attacks is being on camera and being recorded. I need this money but this is one hurdle I cannot jump yet.

I’m just tired of it all. I’m trying to find employment that suits me better but I never even get to interview with those jobs. 

I’m lucky to have the resources I do. I could theoretically fall back on someone but, that would mean asking my abuser for help when thats what this money is supposed to help me get away from. 

I’m tired and I’m angry and I don’t know what to do