I've spent four years in university and they have been the most stressful years of my life, everyday is harder form the last and every semester I'm soo close to being kicked out, I cant make good habits if wanted to . I tried. This sem my girlfirend pushed me to get tested for adhd and it seems like i have it. Its too late now, i got the medication but it was too concentrated and i couldn't study, I didn't understand why, i would just be super anxious the whole day. This happened for two weeks and that was right before finals. Those two weeks is where I'd slap myself in face and punch myself to make myself sit down and get a tiniest amount of work done. I've been a disgrace to my family, i cant even finish second year math courses. I thinking about dieing every day and i wish i could kill myself but my religion doesn't allow me and i believe in that very much. I dont have the will to live, i dont have the push to persevere and just want to end myself. I know that you can live your life without a university degree but i dont want to, my parents are post grads my sister had a 4.0 and my younger bsibling is doing crazy good. Its me who can be financially smart , its me who cant do uni and now instead of studying for my final tomorrow I'm siting here writing this because i don't know what will help me, i wish i could just die.