I will try to make this a long story short

I manically decided to drive to someone’s house I just met. they live about an hour away. somewhere between me leaving my apartment and trying to get to her house, I drive the complete wrong way even tho I had my gps, knowing I was going the opposite way but for some reason I just kept going. I was confused but very excited. I eventually pull up to a very large, mostly empty parking lot. 

at this point my memory is extremely fuzzy, but I guess I decided I could do donuts and drive through a fence, a tree and a natural gas generator, which is what stopped me from continuing because that box kind of .. not exploded, but it busted open and was releasing the gasses

the police were called and so was an ambulance. not sure who showed up first but whoever it was found me in a “psychotic state” (according to the report) and I told them I was going to kill myself. I was being very aggressive and was really agitated so they had to put on hard restraints and 5150 me. I wake up strapped in a bed in a hospital room with a bedside sitter. I kept begging them to let me go and told them they couldn’t hold me there and I want a lawyer and I need to go home and feed my cats. I kept telling them any and every reason why they should let me go but obviously they really couldn’t. 

I finally got released- no car, no phone, no shoes but I was able to make a few phone calls to get a friends number to pick me up. so they came for me and we cried and they held me and i’m now staying with them because I am unsafe to live alone right now. my body is sore as all hell and extremely bruised and battered, but I am so so so lucky I walked away from that accident. the doctors were genuinely shocked I didn’t experience more damage or even death. 

I don’t want to die. I want to live a healthy and happy life.