I used to be such a happy person. Loving family, friends, partner and I led a very active lifestyle. The only anxiety I used to have was about my dogs health and missing gym days. On New Years, I experienced a “Green Out” from smoking too much weed. That led to a panic attack, then another one, and so on. Then two weeks later I was diagnosed with a pneumomediastinum after finally being able to drag myself back to the gym for the first time in weeks. Oh, and since then I’ve had the most insane acid reflux that keeps me up until 6am when I finally pass out from sheer exhaustion and wake up in pain thinking it’s a heart attack, but no, it’s just reflux (or is it?). I’ve been to the ER four times this month, as opposed to not even going when ripped my leg open and now have an 8 inch scar. I know in the grand scheme of things I really don’t have too much to complain about, but every single fucking day, every five minutes, I feel some pain or twinge or whatever and that’s it, I think I’m dying. I miss being happy. I miss it so much. I feel like a burden, a crazy person idek anymore. I’ve even started getting very very minor suicidal thoughts, although I’m way too scared to ever do that. I just need to vent I guess. I’m sorry if it feels like I’m marginalising anyone else’s more severe suffering. Have a good day! ❤️