Hello, I never really post anything on Reddit but tonight was different and for the first time in my life i want to talk about me, and I'm honestly really fucking scared.

Im currently a junior at University in America for some reason in the Big 12 league, but the academics and stress of life really sucks and i just want to leave University badly.

I don't understand why everyone is indoctrinated into going into 4-year college to where my parents legit forced me to go to university before I knew what i wanted to do with my life causing me to change my major 3 times already wasting 3 years of classes I did not want to be in. Each time my parents ridiculed me for not knowing what I wanted to do with my life and it legit hurt a lot.

I'm just tired of college and want to leave and even contemplated suicide a week before my birthday but i didn't. Though as time goes on and my family, life, and school gets more stressful I wonder why I didn't. Sometimes, I wish I did. 

I don't know, I don't want to go home and flunk college because that's what I'm doing. My drive for college was never there and it's fully over. I'm done with college but my parents won't have it at all with me and I'm scared what's gonna happen because I know that they will not be happy with me at all.

I miss being happy. I miss being carefree in life.

I miss having a soul.