I love my job and I also am very content with the people I work with. I've been at my job for 6 years. In the beginning I was very easy going and a good team player. But in the last year I've noticed I'm much more aggressive. I've lashed out on a co-worker or two. If I have a disagreement or something minor happens I can't seem to control my emotions. So I end up reacting defensive.  I've luckily been able to apologize. And they have forgiven me. But I don't forgive myself. I hate lashing out. I hate saying things I don't even mean. I don't know why I've changed. I miss being that calm and professional person. I'm not sure if my BPD has gotten worse over time or of I just had control over it back then. I just started Lamotrigine. I'm still working on getting the full dosage. It's only been a couple weeks and I feel a difference so far. I just hope the mood stabilizers help me control my emotions better. Can anyone else relate to this?