My dog is turning 9 this February. He’s a toy breed, a chihuahua, and little doggos like him have longer lifespans. Still, I feel so terrified. I feel like I could have spent much more time with him if not for my bouts of depression these past 5 years. Not to mention I feel like a shit caretaker because sometimes I can’t take care of myself, let alone him (fortunately, I live with my parents).  
I feel myself getting detached from him and I know it’s a self-defence mechanism.  
I’m really emotionally dependent on my dog. I just... the reality of him dying is too much to bear for me.