I don't even know how to put in into words, but I'm going to try. I've been severely depressed for several years now. I've gotten help on several occasions, tried meds, but it didn't seem to help. I've been trying to find the root cause through therapy, journaling, and introspective thought exercises, etc. It seems like every time I start to get ahead and make progress, something happens and knocks me right back down into that pit. I've been climbing out of it for so long that I just don't know if I have the will power to keep going. The older I get, I less opportunities for a better life. I don't know if I'm willing to fight for another 30+ years.