So im not really looking for judgement, I got enough of that already. I was also addicted to amphetamine and various ssri's so I believe that accounted for most of my behavior and not my character.

So I've been in a bit of a complicated situation relationship-wise. I've been dating this girl (we'll call her A) for about 3 years now and everything is pretty solid albeit boring because I can't see/be with her too often. About 1.5 years in I remet an old friend ( E )  who was very important during years 11-13 because I was going through a really rough time and she helped me cope. I was vaguely romantically involved with her but she was 800ish miles away so that never manifested. I also became involved with a 3rd girl (I) who I met at a party and would occasionally smoke/drink with. She was cool and we'd hang out usually once or twice a week for a while. This eventually culminated into us having sex weekly for a few months while we still hung out in between. She knew of my relationship with A but never cared. Now towards the beginning I was planning on breaking up with A but convinced myself I still loved her and never went through with it. I broke it off when I realized this relationship was toxic and she drugged me one night (but thats another story). Im still with A to this day, and I really do think I love her, though the relationship is a bit stale, I enjoy my time with her. As of recent im pretty sure my friend is dating I. This bothers me. I know it shouldn't because im in a relationship and I shouldn't be jealous, but I cant help but feel this way. Is it justified? Or am I just crazy?