This might seem silly to many it's okay it seems silly yet it is very real. I can't explain my condition myself. So yeah, in a short story I was in relation with a girl for 4 years. She got married. She's happy. But, I'm stuck in a never-ending loop. In a room thinking way too much to get better yet I can't. I don't have a job yet, it's been 3 years of living and depending on my family. Yes, I don't feel good about it. I regret every minute of my life that I couldn't do anything about this. I couldn't meet my friends I'm ashamed of the state I'm in. As the people who are around and friends with me are earning well and doing great stuff. I'm here thinking of ending my life. Trying very hard not to. But, I don't want to be a burden. I'm in my 25, I don't how to stop self-sabotaging life. I want to be happy again. But I feel it's too late for everything I don't know if companies hire freshers after 3 years career gap. I'm just scared. I want to change but I couldn't do anything. I just sleep in a room and overthink about ending all this. At times I feel I wish, I had someone to talk to. I want to work and earn do sh*t but everything and every door feel like it's locked.