I broke up with my ex for almost 5 months now. When we broke up, we decided to stay best friends. We broke up, because we had different dreams. I was thinking about starting a family,  while he didn't know if he ever wanted kids... we had a great month as best friends. Then he met someone on tinder. Since then he let me fall directly. It's now 3months that he is ghosting me. I keep calling him almost everyday.  He blocked my number, but if I call anonymous I can still call him. He never picks up the phone but I leave voicemessages. 

I don't know if this is because of my bpd, but I want him to tell me that is over. That he never wanna talk to me again. That also the friendship over is. He talks with my bff and told her that for him the message is clear if he ignores me. But it's not clear at all. It can mean so many things. 

I want him to be clearly. So that I know if it is temporary or forever. Now I'm still hoping on something.  I don't want a relationship with him anymore. Being best friends after he treats me this way also feels impossible. I just want to know where I stand. Why he treats me like this. I cannot let it go. I try really... sometimes I didn't call him for 5 days. Then I feel strong and a plan a new beginning. New start, new me. But I always end up calling him again. 

He also has to pay me back some money. And we have to close our bankaccount. He left some things in my house that he said were important to him. If he doesn't want to know me anymore why don't he want to finish these things also?