Why can’t I lay on my couch &amp; drink my coffee, without the lingering burden that my home isn’t safe ? 
Why does one problem, become two problems? 
When can my fight or flight turn off ? Like can I get a fuckn day to not shake &amp; panic ? 

I keep praying to whomever I can pray to because atp idk who tf is listening!! 

I treat ppl with care, patience! I try my hardest not to judge &amp; allow grace , because we all have pretty shitty days . 

Wtf is a smile ? 

I try sooooo hard to reset &amp; restart &amp; reset and re fuckn start . 

When does it end ? 

When does my pain go away ? 
When will I wake up &amp; not expect the worst ? 

When will I feel alive , when will I live ?? 

This feels like a forever prank , this can’t be my life . This can’t be my mind , this can’t be what I was put on this earth for . 

This is pretty fuckn ridiculous 😳😳😳