I’m starting to realize how toxic I am but I still feel like I can’t change it. Recently I (F24) hooked up with my best friend (M24) who is in a relationship. Consciously I know that it was wrong - I disrespected him and his relationship but at the same time I couldn’t care less that I jeopardized his relationship. Its almost like i am a petulant child that wants something and will do whatever it takes to get it - in this case, him. It’s like I know I am being toxic but can’t change it? I want to be a better person but at the same time don’t want to change? I’m such a awful person ): Sorry If this sounds confusing.