I've been staying at my mom's house since the beginning of the month. I live halfway across the country and came to visit. This house is where a lot of my "traumas" happened (abuse from my brother, etc). As soon as I walked in my room I felt numb. Like so dumb where I looked at my dog, who I love to pieces and just had no feeling or anything. 

I'm supposed to go back to my house next week and my fiance asked if I was excited but I couldn't say yes. I just, I feel so empty and it's just so frustrating. I feel like I'm trapped in my head. I know I love my pets and fiancee but when I look at them I just feel absolutely nothing.

While I've been here I have had to deal with a lot of my abuser's crap. Not directly he's still a big part of my mom's life and I think that might have a hand in this episode(?). And like relatives ask about him and then she ends up talking about him forever.

Am I having a psychotic break or something? I feel like everything is happening in fast forward and and I've been depersonalizing so bad and I just don't know what to do maybe I'm having a panic attack? I don't know I'm just really freaking out.

