I've had severe anxiety disorder for about 5 years now. Probably shortened my life span honestly. I have freaked out a lot and with many different symptoms such as tingling hands and rest of body, hot flashes, inability to speak, memory loss, panic attacks, uncontrollable hyperventilating the list goes on and on oh and also one I hated was the lump in my throat  and also spontaneous severe panic attacks?? Like what. Anyway i just realized now...what is the worst that can happen. I have already suffered immensely from this disorder. So the worst that can happen is just more suffering or death I guess. I am gonna be 20 and I have to cuddle with my little sister sometimes when the bad ones happen. The ones where it feels like all the blood is rushing to my skin and my heart is pounding and I cant walk. Like...that is a worse case. Which really sucks but it's happened to me a lot. I saw this bad video online and it made my legs weak which made me think what if I faint or it never stops??? Then I realized...well...then I'll faint? And i dont know. I mean I've been avoiding getting a job or taking a walk around the block by myself. Because I'm scared I'll have a bad panic attack at work or in public. But if it happens then it will I mean I have a mental condition so it's not surprising. On my birthday this year I was fine then it just struck me and this random cold chill ran through me followed by a bad panic attack. So if its gonna happen then it will. As scary as it is. Something that really fuels my anxiety is that I am scared of having to get an ambulance. The cost being a reason and also just the fear of having an ambulance in general. But again if I really need an ambulance it will have to happen so why worry. Many things arent in my control and I wish to accept it.