Last night I (28f) got very drunk, called my bf (28) crying to come pick me up from the next city over (45 mins away). Then I verbally abused him, and I don't even remember this but he told me I was very mean to him. Apparently I called him useless and worthless- among other things. Then I self harmed really bad, cut my forarm up deeper than I meant to cause the alcohol had numbed the pain somewhat. 

I feel like I messed up really bad and don't know what to do. I don't drink that often, maybe once a month, but I always seem to get argumentative and caught up in my BPD when I do so. Both my parents are alcoholics too so I'm scared I'll end up down this route if I'm not careful.