I am tired of living like this. I am not getting good marks,I dont enjoy things, I dont have a social life, there is nothing that excites me or makes me happy.Its been like this for 2 years. I live with parents and all I have to do is study but I am not even good at it. I am tired of lying that I am trying my best when I am clearly not, I just dont want to do anything anymore. I am nothing but a burden on them. There is nothing that I can be proud of myself for. I have been having suicidal thought for about 5-6 months, they feel comforting at first but after sometime it just makes me feel worse of what happens after death. It is just an uneasy feeling after thinking about what happens after we die. I am overwhelmed by the future. I cant stop thinking about what will happen. I have some entrance exams in 2-3 months which I am not even prepared for. I have been telling everyone that yes I can crack it but only I know that I cannot, I havent studied properly. It has been a cycle for the last 2 years that my grades keep getting worse because of my mental, but my mental is also getting bad because of my grades. I just dont know what to do. I got no one to talk to about all this. I dont know whether I want to get better or to jump off a building.