my fp is my best friend of 6 years who i spent a lot of time with. from middle school through high school. we also had more than just your average friendship. we loved each other. two guys in love. we’d hug, hold hands, cuddle, do other things, but since the beginning of 2020 it was never the same. i guess my issues of being overly needy and mentally unstable caught up to me or something. i don’t know what it was but i haven’t seen him since march of 2020. the beginning of the lockdown and the last time i’d be in school as a senior. he has a relationship now. i can’t help but think i fucked it all up between us because of my mental health. over 7 months into 2021 and i still can’t get over it all. or him. this sucks lol. i need to cherish the moments we had and get on with my life but i just can’t for some reason. he still means the world to me, even if i don’t to him anymore. he saved my life in the past and we always promised we’d be there for each other forever but obviously that doesn’t mean much. going through an incredibly shit 2020 and 2021 alone has proven to be a massive challenge. but that’s life i guess. we continue to move. all love to you all who read this little rant lol. you’re cared for