 

Hi,

F / 27 / UK / overweight / currently taking anti-depressants

I have had moderate/severe depression for 10 years and am being treated for it as of last year although it is not currently helping and I feel like I'm getting worse and worse.

My symptoms are mainly mental but there are a couple of physical symptoms too. I'm wondering if depression/anxiety (and the fact I eat &amp; sleep terribly as a result) explains away everything except I guess the couple of bits and bobs everyone deals with - I have so many minor symptoms but nothing glaringly obvious so I was hoping someone could see if there is anything I'm missing that explains how awfully i'm doing at life.

General mental health related symptoms:  
\- Depression, extremely low mood, lethargy, struggling to leave the house due to stress, not responding to or meeting up with friends, shutting myself away from the world. I feel lonely because of how much I cut myself off.  
\- Getting overwhelmed with literally anything, no matter how small, or how much I would enjoy it, I do like no chores and feel so guilty, humiliated and lazy because of it  
\- Anxiousness, feeling sick with stress, tight chest  
\- I consistently have a dreadful sleep because i'm too overwhelmed to get ready for bed by a reasonable time  
\- Whenever I get in a period where things are going slightly better, I self-sabotage myself

Symptoms that are slightly more specific to me I guess? (compared to the above anyway):  
\- Brain fog that I assumed was depression related but now i'm worried it could be something more. My memory is generally quite good but I've forgotten silly things like my mum's maiden name and I find it hard to fill out mental health questionnaires from my doctor because my mind goes blank. I find this very scary  
\- Binging/overeating, can't eat like a normal person, have basically binged/overeaten and then dieted for pretty much 10 years straight, my body feels like the death warmed up the day after a binge/a day of overeating and yet I can't stop myself from doing it again and again. This causes various pains following, in a variety of different places. If it's been a particularly bad binge day, my entire digestive system feels abused for want of a better word. Sometimes it's headaches, stomach aches, dizziness. It really varies so it's not like I have a headache all the time. Binging/overeating on sugary foods is a major issue for me. My weight is all over the place but I'm currently overweight and it makes me not want to leave the house.  
\- Painful sinuses with sinus headaches a couple of months ago. Sinus headaches aren't back yet but the painful sinuses are so I feel like it's coming again soon :/  
\- Lately I've had an issue with buying stuff just to feel things/making purchases of things that could be the next "cure" to my mental health that I will inevitably become too overwhelmed to use. This isn't too extreme, as I'm not buying things I can't afford, however I am buying things I won't use or that I don't really have space for  
\- Sciatica sporadically that I believe is due to periods of inactivity due to depression/anxiety  
\- It's hard to give specific examples, but sometimes it feels like my brain will do whatever is going to make me feel the worst. Like I didn't cry about a pet's death I was really sad about even though I cry quite easily at stuff like that, as if just to torture me with guilt.  
\- I have itchy ears and have basically messed with them repeatedly to try and stop them itching for years and I need to stop but I'm not currently managing. Sometimes I feel headachey and out of whack because of messing with them trying to cure them.  
\- My elbows hurt if they're bent for too long and I don't immediately click them  
\- When I get in an anxious state, usually late at night, I get really really cold and jump out of my skin when anyone tries to talk to me etc, and feel "frozen" as in like there's a mental block on me doing whatever it is I need to do

Sorry this is so long, I just have no idea whether any of this is even relevant and no doctor has time to listen to all my concerns and I have no idea what to prioritise when I speak to them. I would be so so grateful for any responses.