Not long after I turned 13 i started to feel depression. Since then it has gradually gotten worse. Im 29 and will be 30 soon, never had a gf, i always mess up or get ghosted. I thought all last year things would get better, but as i told my friend "i would be in the same spot as i was at 20 at 30" i was right. I dont care about anything but my siblings, my parents will be fine so will my friends. I cant go through life knowing no one will ever be in love me. And you know that's okay. Ive come to realize this was the path i was meant to always take. Suicide. I wish i took my own life at 14 to avoid everything up to this point. Some things are no one's fault. I dont blame anyone just wish i realized it sooner,