Soo a few weeks ago my wrist started to hurt really bad and I couldn’t work. I went to see my doctor, he recommended that I see a hand surgeon, which I did. He’s a hand surgeon, so of course he said that I needed a surgery. I wasn’t really convinced so I went to see an orthopedist, which told me to just hold my hand still and take some painkillers. After a week it didn’t get better and I needed to call my boss that I couldn’t come for the next three days but after that it probably would be fine. I have awful anxiety when it comes to phone calls, so this really costs me some willpower and I was shaking and sweating really bad before. Turns out after three days my wrist still wasn’t better and then... I got really anxious. I thought all the time ‘No I can’t call in sick just because of pain... and I already told him that it’s gotten better...everybody will hate me at work’

I was like ‘Ok well, when I call him and tell him that I need surgery, that sounds very serious and nobody can be mad at me’. So I called the doctor and made an appointment for the surgery, which took place a week later. I called my boss, still anxious but not as anxious as the last time. When the day of the surgery came, my wrist wasn’t even hurting anymore and I was full on conscious with an local anesthesia, laying there for half an hour and thought to myself ‘I will never do this again, this is the dumbest thing I have ever done in my life’  but still, I didn’t need to call my boss just because of pain and I even got 2 weeks more off from work. Today - two weeks after the surgery, I was supposed to work again tomorrow aaaand I got symptoms of a cold in the morning,  I had to take a corona test, I had to go in quarantine and I still can’t work. I had to call my boss again and tell him that I can’t come to work and I bet at this point they are really mad at me at work, because it's a very stressful time right now. Due to that stress coworkers tend to not sympathise with you and shaming you when they have to do extra shifts instead of the company which doesn't hire enough employees. I also think I will lose my job because my contract will expire on the 26th this month and I still have to call my boss next week again. Not that I liked this job very much, because work in general makes me depressed and anxious and I really do not want to call, maybe I just don’t do it and hope for the best… ?

Since I graduated from school I was working a lot in customer service and retail and I disliked all of the jobs and couldn't really stick to one for long but I’ll start in october a school for occupational therapy and hope it will get better.   
Had any of you similar experiences with that severe anxiety to call in sick and what helped you if you did? 

Sorry for my english if there are any grammar or spelling mistakes