I’m reaching out to reddit because I’m afraid if I tell anyone I know they’ll worry about me or stop me when I don’t want to be stopped. At some point today the ideation of taking too many drugs, slitting my wrists in the tub, and perhaps draining myself dry wouldn’t leave my brain. I thought I was doing so well too.. I feel selfish and feel like I’m just trying to hoard attention because I doubt I’ll cut myself deep enough to die but yeah. It’s like this intense craving to get to my kitchen knives. I’m very much looking forward to it... but someone please knock sense into me. I feel so numb and empty now that I’m no longer at extremes. At least when I had highs and lows I had highs. I probably couldn’t even kill my self if I tried. 