My BF (40) of 3 years cheated on me (40) earlier and we’ve been trying to work through it. His dad’s been sick and he died recently. BF was receiving calls from friends and family and acted weird about one call and took it in private. I tried not to eavesdrop but it was an ex. I asked him who it was and he said a “friend” I said which one? He finally told me. I flipped out and started asking him questions and he came clean that “as friends” he was going to fly out there earlier this year, but plans got canceled. I told him to GTFO. He went on to call me really messed up names. I was so worked up and panicky, that I REALLY fucked things up: I messaged his brother to tell him. His brother was handling all of the details about their dad passing. He politely and deservedly told me to GF myself, told my BF what I did and my BF told me to stay away from his family. His brother’s GF messaged me and deservedly put me in my place and told me to back off and to stop dating a cheater. My BF later called to apologize but says yeah, I’m definitely not allowed at the funeral. FML.