I lost someone who I truly believe was my soulmate a month ago. Everyone thinks I’m so strong because I haven’t cried when really I’ve just been wasted on alcohol or MDMA ever since it happened but I cry every time I’m alone. We weren’t in the best place when he crashed. I hadn’t seen him for a week and he was coming to see me just before it happened. 

Our lives were just starting. He just got a good paying job that he was so excited about and he was about to turn 20. We were gonna get a house and do everything together. Now I’m lost and don’t want to be here at all. 

The person who I told everything to is gone now so I’ve come here. Don’t really know what answers I’m looking for just some life advice please. Sorry if this doesn’t make sense