My first marriage was terrible. He cheated on me,  stayed up all night and chatted with other women. 

I'm now remarried to a pretty great guy. He's a good man, I believe he loves me. He's very good to me. Lately he's been staying up till 3:30 am (cause he can't sleep) and I'm getting all sorts of flashbacks, and the bank of my my mind says he's up to the same thing my ex was. Or something similar. 

I love him so much, but I'm so triggered by this. I am so afraid he is going to leave me (I've done some really bad stuff to him) I have a severe fear of abandonment. How the fuck do I cope with this?