I'm going to keep this quick, but I keep removing myself from my groups of friends. Every time I feel like I'm no longer one of the most loved or integral members of the group, I straight up stop talking to them and find a new group of people to hang out with. What's worse is that I'm never sure if it's real or just in my head, but my reflex to run usually ends up causing actual mutual tension. 

I get this has a lot to do with my fear of abandonment and such, but it's so bad that I can't even talk to the people who I feel are potentially replacing me without feeling physically nauseous. I hate feeling so insecure in my sense of belonging. Living like this is so exhausting and I just want to stop but I don't know how. 