I feel free. I can do almost anything and the consequences seem really no worse than everyday life. Tbh, I feel like I died a long time ago. 

So many people use the phrase "I don't care" but I can actually say, they have no idea what it truly feels like not to care. 

My brain has wiped out 99.9% of my memory to get to this point, but if my life was precieved as bad enough for my brain to do that, im not sure I really care if those memories ever come back. 

I'm way past the point of suicide. My brain thinks about it every day, pretty much constantly, but I've been able to push that aside in the same way you might ignore a song stuck in your head or a person snoring while you try to sleep. 

Life is good. Well.. maybe. I'm not sure I know what good means anymore. However, my baseline for bad is beyond repair which truly helps life feel a little bit better.