A depressive episode hit me and I couldn't get out of it. I almost never can, but I was supposed to have a good night tonight and I couldn't. I was out with people, and I felt happy for the first half and then I felt so lonely. I purposely broke off and spent the next many hours alone.

I cried in the middle of a street downtown. Maybe this is what a mental breakdown is. Everyone walked past me.

Before my night started I saw this young lady that seemed like she had been crying. I wanted to ask if she was okay and my social anxiety didn't let me. It's not an excuse, I should have asked. I should have asked and I promise myself that next time I will ask and offer help to others. Because it's when you need help from a stranger that you realize no stranger will ever help you.

And this is how I live life. Life is unfair, we all know this. It's worse for others, and better for others. So I do what I can to make sure life is unfair. I give others the advantage that I never get. Life is unfair to me, so I'll make sure others live an unfair life, a better one.

Anyways, I'll be okay. I just felt the need to share that tonight I failed. My mental didn't do so well tonight. I'm going to sleep and reset. Hopefully tomorrow goes better.