Currently bawling my eyes out in a full blown temper tantrum, and I can’t help it.

My partner and I got into a disagreement, he had accused me of not checking a part of our accommodations online and got very angry with me. I tried telling him I did check and I’ll find it when I have a chance and he immediately started to make me feel like I ruined everything and started bringing up all the what if’s and how expensive everything is going to be due to my fuck up. I went outside to get fresh air and be alone and he came out there and tried telling me “I found it now - this is so cheap don’t worry about it! Everything is fine!” But my brain doesn’t work like that and he knows that (been together for a few years). I then go inside to try to breathe and calm myself down and he joins me inside and says how I’m making him uncomfortable and I need to get over myself and indirectly telling me I’m being childish. I tried telling him I don’t know what I need to calm down, I’m trying to breathe and not rush to my Xanax or self harm but he kept insisting that the issue is over and now I’m the problem, he then stormed out of the room when I wouldn’t take my Xanax.

Now I’m alone again and I feel completely betrayed by my partner, I feel abandoned and like I’m not worth his time and it sucks - 0/10 don’t recommend.