For some reason, all the people I end up incredibly attracted to enough to want to pursue a relationship with end up having BPD. My only three serious partners have had it, and all have been mutually obsessive and toxic relationships, and every time I try and date somebody without BPD I get bored and disinterested way too quickly and end it, and just move onto the next fling, rinse, wash, repeat.  

I wish I could have a healthy relationship with somebody, but I only ever fall in love with somebody who is just as unstable as I am and it always ends as a huge disaster. Now it seems like it's happening again with this new girl I've met and I want to back out to prevent this cycle from happening again, but being with somebody with BPD, no matter how unstable the relationship may be, makes me feel understood and loved. I feel like nobody would be able to love me once they learn I have BPD, and I can't blame them...