My bf and I are about to move in together to our first owned place and things have been really rough for me this year, I started self harming again after many years. He saw the marks, freaked out and said he didn’t know “if he couldn’t handle it” and left. He knew I used to do it many years ago but “had no idea I resorted to that now”. I have never seen him look at me like that, the rejection absolutely stabbed through me and I want to kill myself so bad (I will not - fixed ideation only, I am safe). I begged him to break up with me and he just kept saying he needs time to think. I’m deeply hurt by his reaction. I don’t know what to do. I can’t see his emotions through my own right now.