Ever since I was little I knew I was different from others. I didn't like what others did, LIKED what others did not, and I was just very bottled up and introverted from a young age.

I've never taken into consideration of myself having a mental illness until recently (I'm 18 now), but now that I think about it, it makes a lot of sense. I've always had problems understanding "common" social cues and I tend to lose interest in lots of stuff very quickly.

Recently this has affected me even harder because of school. Teachers constantly call me nice and well-spoken, but also call me lazy and uninterested in pretty much everything. And that kind of hurts... I mean if I have a mental illness, that's not really nice to hear, especially when you're trying your actual best.

So I'm thinking of going to a therapist, public or private, I don't know which yet, most likely public cus I'm broke. And I'm worried that I WON'T be diagnosed with anything, which would invalidate everything I've ever felt about myself. Is it ok to feel this way? Am I just "fetishizing" mental illness? I honestly just want to finally figure out what my deal is... If you could help me in any way, shape or form I would eternally be grateful &lt;3.