I’m getting more and more tired. My dad passed away two weeks ago and when people die everyone always says that it makes them realize how short life is and all that but it looked so peaceful and I just want to go. I’m scared of death, who isn’t? But I just want to be at peace and stop this dread and suffering. I’m failing out of college because I cannot make myself go. I’m ruining my life anyways so what’s the point in continuing? I’ve begun to research how much of medicines I would need to overdose and I’ve printed out an application to carry so I can get a gun. I’m not set on any one plan but the idea just keeps becoming more appealing every day. I even checked my life insurance to make sure my mom would still get the money for me. She needs it real bad anyways so I’d be helping. I told my mom that I’ve been thinking about it. Nobody cares so.