It's been a long time that I felt happiness, an even longer time since I felt something like fulfillment. Occasionally I do things I kinda enjoy, but they're mere slithers of good feeling. On the other time I feel nothing, nagging anxiety or distress, all the time. There's always something to make me anxious, always a reason to hate myself. I don't have a goal in life, it's all a wash anyways. I have no real interest to be here, but I'm stuck and now I'm forced to somewhat function or at least play the role for it.
And loneliness. Loneliness sucks really hatd.