I (26F) have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (2018) and I’m not okay, over several days things have turned upside down. I really don’t need judgement, I need advice. I’m most likely missing a lot out because only a couple of things come to mind. Thursday, I got on a train to see my boyfriend for an hour and had a bit of a meltdown when I realised the last train was cancelled. He had to convince me to get into a taxi as I refused because I didn’t want to pay. Friday, I was on FaceTime with him and we were joking around and I just cut my thighs thinking absolutely nothing of it, as if it was something funny to do. He reacted and said it really wasn’t funny and that’s the only way I realised what I was doing was fucked up. Yesterday I was sat on a bridge over a motorway thinking of jumping but also finding it peaceful. One side of the motorway randomly became clear and someone was driving in a zigzag motion in front of all the cars. I clocked it was for me and ran off and the traffic carried on but I was all over the place for maybe 10 minutes (it could have been more or less as I don’t seem to have a grasp on time at the moment) and I heard silence and realise the whole motorway stopped for a couple of minutes. A police lady found me in a field and I completely freaked out because I was scared, I’ve never had interactions with police before. Her and her colleague walked me home and talked to my mum. The thing that I’m now really struggling with is the thoughts of being so powerful that I can actually stop the whole motorway if I want to. It’s been in my head all of today. I’m scared, I don’t know what’s going on and I really need some support