I (21) have never had a relationship. (Don't worry, it's gonna happen someday!) I'm also disabled and my dad treated me like shit when I was little. I heard that depression can mess with your memory and that's probably why I can't really remember much from even a few years ago. I've been seeing a therapist for two months hoping that I would feel better but its left me feeling worse. I've tried other therapists but I still feel awful. My mom and brother are also disabled so I have to manage the house the best that I can. Yesterday was my birthday and friends were busy doing other things so I was in my bedroom the whole day. I'm not a drinker so I didn't celebrate with alcohol. Whenever I am in a college class, no o e wants to be around me either. I try to put on the best not-depressed face and attitude so people will seem interested in at least saying hi. I don't know what to do. I smoked weed for a while but I didn't really like it. Edibles I've tried but I feel so cold, so lonely,  and really depressed.