I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to live but I’m too pussy to kill myself. I don’t think I’ve ever been as disappointed in myself than I am right now. I’m so tired and don’t know what to do, where to go or how to fix anything in me or around me anymore. 

I can’t seem to make anything work. My jobs, my career, friendships, anything. I feel so unfulfilled and incapable of doing anything right. I feel like an imposter to my whole existence. I’m not who I think I am and I feel like a joke trying to do anything. I’m so fed up and just want to shrink into nothing. Ive been breaking down and crying in public lately bc I just can’t hold it together anymore. I’m weak just like my shit Ex told me. I don’t deserve to be happy. I try to be but I know inside I’m poisoned. I can feel it. There’s so much darkness that keeps growing all the time. I’m hiding from my roommates now bc I don’t want to bum them out. I don’t even want to ask for help I feel so far gone I wish I could just disappear of the face of the earth.