So, I'm in that more stage where BPD seems to mellow a bit as you age. I'm enjoying not wanting to self-harm anymore. That's a big plus. Probably one of the biggest plusses, if I'm honest. I also don't have the intense, erratic relationships anymore. I also pretty much don't have relationships anymore, although I'm good with that. I live pretty much as a hermit IRL and just interact with people filtered through technology. It's so much nicer this way. I'm not as impulsive anymore, either. I still have the impulsive thoughts and urges, I'm just a bit too apathetic to act on them. It's a bit weird, but, hey, it works. The jury is still out on just how healthy this middle-aged version of BPD is, according to psychiatrists and the like. But I'll take this state of blandness over the drama of my youth. Oh. My. God. I NEVER want to go back to that time of my life. I can still feel the memories of that turmoil if I think about it. Some of you may read this and be encouraged that it DOES get better. I hope so. 

In becoming a hermit, I have decided I have three levels of communication. 

Level 1 interaction - this is in-person conversations, phone calls, video chats, and the like. There is no downtime between responses and it requires an actual connection, of sorts, to the person you are communicating with. This level of communication wears me out rather quickly. I do everything I can to avoid it. 

Level 2 interaction - this is texting, messenger, online chat room, email, etc. You have a bit of downtime between responses, and there is a technological filter muting the connection between the parties involved. Most of my interactions are level 2. Level two does have the potential to wear me out, especially if multiple interactions are happening at the same time.

Level 3 interaction - this is snail mail and most social media (videos, status updates, tweets, comments on posts and message boards). With Level 3 there is a possibility for a quick response, but it's not expected. It's more disconnected and better buffered between interactions. I prefer Level 3. 

Oh, and to make sure that I don't take my hermiting too far, I have enrolled in a bookkeeping course at a local career tech school. This requires me to actually leave my house on a regular basis and have some IRL human interaction since I am not employed anywhere.