Low IQ or just anxiety?

Ugly, fat and dumb?

I know my place in this world.

I honestly don't know where to start with this, I am unhappy in life. I have no friends, pretty sure the ones I do have are ashamed to be around me. I had one friend who I've been in a friendship for about 12 or 13 years. We never hang out, cause I'm a shitty friend. She's confident, and has no problem being the mediator of the group. I tried being confident, but as a fat bitch whose an introvert and can barley form a solid sentence I don't see how that's possible. My friends have no issues with men, they are deep in their careers and are smart. None of those things are me, I either have low IQ or social anxiety. I'm boring to even conversate with. I feel like the only person I have 0 anxiety over is my mother. Otherwise I feel rushed and I either say something stupid, or I jumble over my words. I'm 25, still live at home and pay rent. Wouldn't have a car if my mom didn't let me pay it off to her. I turn 26 next year. I must be slow, or have low IQ as I said. I've been obsessing about the fact I probably have an intellectual disability and not know it. I was in special education 6-12 and sometimes process things slowly. I did miss a lot of school, had issues with the truancy officer at school. From missing so much, but I was sick a lot especially in middle school. 

I did graduate, I do have my CNA certification. I work in a hospital, the nurses say how amazing job I do. I feel like I'm sometimes treated as a kid. Maybe it's my youthful face. Or can they sense something is wrong with me? I somehow passed state boards in high school. I probably wouldn't pass now a days. I don't know what I want to do, I make 17.35$ an hour and I don't see how that's possible in today's world. Unless I rent a 1 room in a house full of other people. I tried figuring it out one night and was getting a headache at how much shit you have to pay for. 

 I'm super incompetent at life. I have 2 baby teeth, and have to get that fixed. I waited long enough, I should've done it in high school but I didn't want to be without teeth. I look honestly ugly, and I don't know how I got so ugly. My sisters are gorgeous, my moms gorgeous and my brothers are handsome. They all found amazing partners who love them, but me? I can't find one guy who doesn't look at me as a person. Just a hole, as bad as it sounds. I'm fat, so that cuts the dating pool in 1/3 so 1/3 of men might want me. From what I'm told men only settled for large women. Which is upsetting, because I want someone who DESIRES me. I know if i did find someone, they wouldnt be happy with me theyd follow those beautiful women on social media. Or even worse cheat online or behind my back. Its what I'm destined to find. MY own dad left me at 9. Was absent a lot of my life. Would find his way in there a few times being a father. I want someone who finds me attractive. I've been told stuff online that I don't even want to repeat, about how I have an attractive sister and how no man would come up to me if she was around. I've had family members come up to me to tell me how beautiful her and her husband were. We look nothing alike. That guy was sho told me no one would come up was right I've had guys come up to ask about my sister and even my mom. And low key my counselor said the same thing, said men would be intimateded to come up to me if she was around cause she's pretty and I'm plus sized. I am not dumb, I know any potential partners would look and stare or worse may even flirt behind my back. It's heart wrenching. I look up couple videos and people with kids because I know I'll never find it. 
Let's not forget to mention how shitty of an aunt I am, I have nieces and nephews in AZ and I never see them. I try to video chat but either they are busy or they forget. I want to be a good person. My nephew that lives in town is 14 so he's all about his friends I do give him rides. He's a smart and such a good kid. I feel I'm an awkward aunt. I try to talk to him but I'm not a talker. 

Lastly, I think intellectually I have issues. I feel stupid, I'm quiet and I'm trying to fix it. But I don't know if it's anxiety or what? My mom says I'm smart I'm just being lazy. I'm not lazy, I'm just so depressed. I'm sorry for ranting, I just needed to talk.

I got low IQ, and I'm dumb.. I am sure of it I have cognitive issues. Why do I have to be ugly and dumb? Why couldn't I just have one?