Hello everyone, 

I’m here just to look for some advice and guidance and share my thoughts currently. I’ve been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for 1 year and he’s amazing, he’s very kind and loving towards me and is a genuine person. I’ve witnessed him do very kind things that he doesn’t even know i’m aware of and Im really happy with him and also in love. He did tell me that he struggled with depression in college and he sometimes gets waves of it when he’s under a lot of stress and I can usually tell when something is up with him but he’s never been mean to me or hurt my feelings. Anyways just yesterday he revealed to me that he got diagnosed with BPD over 5 years ago and takes medication for it, I didn’t know how to respond so I just said “thank you for sharing this me, i know it probably wasn’t easy to bring this up”. He told me about how no one in his family knows, I never really noticed anything abnormal with his behavior and never seen him taking medication (we are both religious so we don’t have an intimate relationship but we do hang out in person). Of course my curiosity got the best of me and I did research about this and of course with reading on Reddit I haven’t seen many positive stories of people in relationships with someone with BPD. So far this first year has been amazing but after reading all these things i’m becoming paranoid. I am a little bit hurt that he kept that from me for so long but in our culture mental health is very very stigmatized so I can understand why he was apprehensive but I love him so I wouldn’t have broken things off just because of that. I do have some questions because I am still very ignorant on this condition. Regarding BPD do people have any awareness or control over their behaviors? Are they able to mask it in anyway? I keep getting this intrusive thought that maybe he was masking somehow and that’s why I never noticed any abnormal behavior from him or maybe that’s from the medication? Also is it something that can be “cured”? I am still just hung up on the fact that I really didn’t notice anything at all from him, I never noticed anything particular about his behavior other than he’s a really good man. Is there a spectrum within the BPD community? Like some severe and more mild? Or across the bored there’s some typical behaviors? I’m really sorry if any of my questions came off as offensive, as I am not very educated on this but I am trying to learn more