99.9% of my stress comes from my uncertainty of how others feel about me, and the fear that they will one day be fed up and leave. I engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that make the eventual abandonment more likely (texting incessantly, acting out to try and get attention from my friends, drinking so much that I just let loose my emotions and make an ass of myself) and even though I'm aware of these behaviors, I can't seem to stop myself. It's like the need to talk and have people around hurts too much to just do nothing.