I (33f) only have one really close friend that I’ve known since high school, and a couple of more “acquaintance”-style friends. My best friend was unavailable to hang out today when I really needed it, and it sent me spiralling. I was already feeling very depressed and lonely, but I felt totally abandoned and completely alone after she told me she was busy. I depend way too much on her and feel like I’m a huge burden to her.

I find it so difficult to make new friends. I feel like I don’t belong anywhere and I don’t know what is wrong with me. I seem unable to create any new meaningful connections. I think because of my mental health issues and eccentricities people can find me off-putting. I have basically no filter and I can come across as a strange person. Having social anxiety doesn’t help, because people tend to think I’m a snob when they first meet me if I’m acting quiet, when in reality it is anxiety.

Do any of you also struggle with this? What is the best way to create new, meaningful friendships in your 30’s when you have BPD?