I have this deep feeling that my FP is toxic and no good for me. My family doesn’t like him and a few of my friends (not all) also don’t like him. But they also don’t KNOW him. I dated him for a few months before we broke up, and things got messy which is why they don’t like him. We took a few months apart, came back together and things have been better for another several months. But now that things are better I have the feelings I am experiencing now. I want to detach myself a little bit to give myself clarity and see if my BPD is sabotaging things or if I (and my family) are right. But I can’t. I can’t make myself ignore him. I want to talk to him so badly. I want him to talk to me so badly. I tried unadding him the other day and almost puked. When he doesn’t answer I get panicked. I love him so much and he’s my best friend I am so comfortable around him and talk to him about everything. And he puts up with my crazy. Ik folks with BPD know what kinda crazy I’m talking about. And he’s very supportive during any episodes I have and I’ve been able to work through stuff that I know I wouldn’t have before. It feels impossible.