I just feel so trapped in every aspect of my life and i want it to end i feel like i’m drowning and in the rare instance things ease up slightly in gasping for air because i’m pulled back down again.  

My boyfriend tells me all my friends are fake but I think it’s him that’s fake I think he’s trying to isolate me from everyone and cut me off. I wouldn’t be surprised he’s done it before he’s done it all to me i don’t know why im still with him. 

I love my friends they care I think i don’t know how to feel i’m scared they’re fake but at the same time i know they love me but i’m being told constantly they’re bad for me and they’re fake but they’re real. they’re the most real and sane thing i have in my life. 

i have no one and i’m going to be alone for ever me thinking that i’ll ever get a chance to be happy with everyone ever is ridiculous if my own mother doesn’t love me and i can’t love myself how can i expect anyone else to ever even like me. my life is going to be fucking miserable and it’s already so bad i hope it doesn’t get worse. i really hope this can’t get any worse because if it does i don’t think i can do this. 

i’m not going to do anything. i’m okay. i’m safe i’m not going to hurt myself i’m just not doing well. things aren’t good but they’ll be okay. don’t worry about me i’m fine i love you all.