This is a rant so if you’re not in the mood for it, please don’t read and get yourself worked up about it. I just need to vent. 


Right, I reaaally shouldn’t have gone to subs with people who’ve been abused by those with BPD. Thing is, I was too. I was looking for some empathy. RBN has been so great for me, and I feel that it recognises(at least most of the time) that “narcissism” is used to describe abusive parents/people in your life. They’re aware this isn’t always accurate, and that not every narcissist is abusive. This isn’t great either, but the way people talk about BPD it’s like everyone with BPD is abusive. And fucking hell, no they’re not. 

I just can’t get over it. I had an abusive mother and grandmother with BPD, and now I’m diagnosed with it. Pretty quickly I accepted it and started doing research. Like, fine; I have BPD. Now I want to get to work. Even my therapist assumed I wouldn’t want this label and was annoyingly careful not to call anything a symptom. That doesn’t help me! I had to explain to her, several times, why I want to take responsibility and say “fuck you” to this stigma. With me, it’s a form of C-PTSD, and it’s not who I am. It’s what abuse did to me. And knowledge is power, and knowing yourself especially. On top of already feeling powerless, we apparently have to deal with this stigma keeping us from gaining knowledge and moving forward too?

And on these subs they say it’s not a mental illness. And that people with BPD shouldn’t be surprised to be treated like monsters, because we act like it. How. ignorant. can you be? Do people seriously think this is a fun life? That this is a choice? If they have BPD, which is a good possibility, having been brought up by one(or two), they’re never going to change. Because BPD = abusive, is crazier than crazy in their eyes. And that’s the issue. We demonise this mental illness(because it is, because fuck, walk a mile in my shoes, dissociate for eight hours, and tell me it isn’t an illness), and we stop people from seeking help.

My mother would *never* accept having BPD. Because her mother has it, and she’s the devil. 

And I refuse to do the same. I want to heal. I deserve that. We all do. And I’m never going to stop defending and explaining BPD and its stigma. I refuse to believe we’ll live in a world where saying “I have BPD” is met with “you’re a monster” forever. That is not where this conversation ends. I believe we’re going to change that. 


