I tried to check out early when I was in middle school in front of classmates. Lied to everyone, even family, that I was hearing voices to do it and convinced myself for a while until midway through high school that I just want to go. Here I am now, 26, still struggling with what I believe is depression. I've been sabotaging myself and my relationships with friends and family, isolating myself and trying to ruin my image to loved ones. 

Is there any chance that I can help myself get better? I don't trust hospitals since they're greedy people who never help and I saw what they did to my wife when I wanted them to help her but they put her in with drug addicts thinking she was one (she was ghosted by her psychiatrist and wasn't getting refills for her medication). I don't have the energy to do anything anymore and I'm scared of just being a hollow shell for the rest of my life.