I feel like an upside down fish. Since i keep swimming noone notices the difference. It is so hard to function. This new job i have. He reminds me of my moms ex husband. Ignores me, makes me do stuff that arent my business, makes me clean up his own mess and his dog's. I have chronic back pain and he couldn't give less fucks. Everything, everything of this scum reminds me of that guy who beat up my mom countless times, hurt me, my sister. Every second with him is a trigger and i cant even breathe. Since i started working here my anxiety and BPD have been acting up. My  mom isnt here, my therapist isnt here, i know NOTHING about this city we just moved and i dont feel safe. Not at home, not anywhere. I havent done anything repulsive and been doing so good. This fucking job made me self harm. I don't know who to ask for help.  Noone really actually gets it. 