So my friend suggested I join some kind of online group to let me get help with stuff because therapy is too expensive so here I am
So I guess the long and short of it is I feel scared and anxious a lot but I’ve never been diagnosed with anything because I’m too scared to talk to doctors and when I’ve tried in the past they’ve waved it off as natural due to me being a teenager and being hormonal or whatever but every day I wake up with butterflies in my stomach like something terrible will happen at any moment. I’ve been through a lot in my life, I was abused as a child, went through a messy divorce when I was 8 and have lived in a pretty rocky household since. I love my parents but they’re overbearing and don’t let me do anything due to a strict Christian upbringing. My anxiety has been made a million times worse recently when I got kicked out 6 weeks ago for a few days because My parents found out I’d slept with my boyfriend (I’m 17 btw so of consenting age). We broke up and I realised my whole relationship id actually been completely manipulated and it made me feel awful about myself in every way possible. I feel weak and ugly and useless and day by day have slowly come to resent myself mentally and physically. I don’t really no where else to go so maybe I can get help here.
This is the lowest I’ve been for a good 7 years and I don’t know what to do anymore. I pretend I’m fine so no one else knows because my mum and step-dad have their own issues and the brother that still lives with me is only young. Opening up to my friend helped me realise I was worth helping but I still feel like shit every time I look in a mirror or get stuck in my head which is very often.