I work up the courage to post and get some of what I've spent my whole life bottling up out, only for strangers to make me feel even more invalidated than I already do, by the simple click of an arrow... I know that's ridiculous... And I know I shouldn't care... but I do. I care so much that I obsess over it. 

I'm an approval junkie, and I don't know how to not be.

I'm desperate for approval, but then I want to tell the world to fuck off when I don't get it. 

I fucking hate this.

And by this I mean myself.

This isn't the only reason I keep looping back to the image of finally blowing my brains out... but it is probably the most ridiculous one.