How do you get over your mind being 100% irrational. I don't have any trauma, my parents were loving, my friends are always there for me, my fiance loves me and takes care of me, even my siblings and I are really close friends which I hear is super rare. Just one day in high school I got super anxious about existing and being near anybody makes me stressed out. Therapy isn't much help since I don't really have a conscious thing to be working through, all subconscious I guess?

My brain is definitely out to get me because every thing I do to treat my anxiety is met with more anxiety. Everything from meditation to deep breathing puts me in a choke hold and I can't stop myself from sobbing. My brain just says "your doing this to treat anxiety? Does that mean we're anxious?!? Omg we're anxious" I guess my question is is there a way to get around my completely irrational feelings about anxiety treatment? Should I keep trying the same tactics even though they make me more anxious and I'll eventually get over it? 

I've been stuck like this for years now (I'm 25) and I'll literally try anything since I'm out of a job and home alone enough

(Also should note I've been going through different medications since I got out of high school but everything I take at max dosage to 0 effect, not even negative side effects, it's like I'm taking sugar pills )