I don't like being alone. I want a relationship. I'm surrounded by people in relationships and I want what they have. I want someone who cares about me and gives me affection. 

But

Ive been going on some dates. And I enjoy them enough. But as soon as I get home I get massive anxiety attacks and freak out over the possibility of a relationship. I don't know if it's the loss of independence (despite me not liking being alone and independent all the time) or the change. But despite me wanting it, I freak out and am terrified by it. 

Has anyone experienced this? How did you overcome it?