I need to start this off by just stating that I've only very recently been diagnosed with bpd, and my first load of therapy sessions start this week. It's all very new to me, and I'm still trying to get my head around the whole thing.

I keep reading about it (bpd) online, mainly because I find it helps a lot to understand what parts of my behaviour are normal and what parts are irrational/the disorder talking. I want to add, too, that the last relationship I was in was very toxic, and he was terrible to me and for me - but I know I didnt treat him great either.

The crux of the matter is, I found a reddit post which basically said that people with bpd are very unstable to be in relationships with, and I'm very aware that I have times and moments where I'm terrified of losing my SO (it's only been two months so far), or I convince myself he doesn't love me, but I have absolutely no reason to think this at all.

 I've told him everything - my diagnosis and my past experiences- and hes reassured me that hes here for me no matter what, and I've explained to him what to do when I have a meltdown.

I'm just terrified that I'm going to damage him or break the relationship because of the way that I am. I know that events in my past relationship weren't all to do with me - there was some abuse which I think has traumatised me a bit - but I'm really scared either way that theres something that I'm doing that could potentially ruin the best thing I've ever had. Hes so supportive and caring and I'm so scared I'm going to lose him because of something I'm really not in control of at the moment, at least.

I'm not sure if this will get read or just lost, but I'd really appreciate any advice. Theres so many negative posts on the internet and so many stereotypes, and it's all just so overwhelming.