I’ve suffered from anxiety for all my life. I can remember working on math in 4th grade and breaking down at the kitchen table because I was too overwhelmed by the amount of work involved. I tortured myself further by pursuing a degree in engineering but that’s a whole different story.
My family always wrote it off saying I had a big heart and just really cared about others but I was just anxious about everything growing up. I’d lay awake worrying about the person on the news or about a distant relative that was sick. 
Throughout college I put on a fake face for everyone. If I was overwhelmed I’d usually act annoyed and retreat to my room to have an anxiety attack in peace.
A few months before marrying my Highschool sweetheart I had anxiety bladder where I missed over a week of work due to stress from the wedding. I couldn’t go more than 5 minutes without feeling like I was about to pee myself. My watch would clock my resting heart rate at 90bpm. I’d burn 500+ calories before 11am. 
Covid actually brought some relief but my wife became pregnant and ever since my daughter’s birth this spring, my anxiety has come back with a vengeance. But I just emptied the last of my beer in the house, and Monday I hope to start some medication.
I’ve had multiple break downs over the past few weeks because my brain doesn’t know what life will be like without anxiety. I don’t know how to live without it. It’s become part of my personality at this point.
Honestly, I’m scared. But I want everyone to know, someone out there has experienced what you’re going through and can help.