Today i called 13-MHCALL which transferred me to one of the acute care teams near me, the last time that i called i hung up crying, believing that no-one not even professionals wanted to help me because they were unable to see me for a month or so... I did this to myself, they were trying to hep me but i didn't accept it or see it as help if that makes any sense.  However it went a lot different today, after months of trying to build myself back up to call them, get past all my fears and anxities the acute care team and i have an appointment next wednesday and it gets better... They're coming to my home!  

(I was in therapy for a few months last year but it got a bit much and so i stopped. This has been a constant thing throughout my life so having them come to my house gives me no choice. I've been on and off different types of medication - and self medicating. I have been diagnosed with bpd, mdd, ptsd, panic disorder, social and general anxiety. I am excited to have a team but im vey anxious about all of it, i hope that the horrifying picture my mind is painting doesn't match the day.)