Yesterday has had to be one of the worst days of my life so far. On Saturday I moved out of my parents house to live at university halls, which I have being planning to start for a year now. The first day there I though I was doing okay and was trying to stay positive to try and enjoy it. The day after I woke up with butterflies in my stomach that lasted for about an hour until I calmed down, but later on during the day I was overwhelmed with thoughts and began having a panic attack. The Tuesday followed a similar pattern as I had my first lecture which I found difficult as I couldn't understand the task at hand and another student called me stupid. Then Yesterday was supposed to be a day for me to try and chillout and focus on my mental health, but something inside of me changed and just couldn't stop crying. Yesterday was the first day I believed that I would be better off dead then face these difficult challenges as I panicked and tried to ask for help where many were turning me away.

I'm now back at home with my parents and am thinking about quitting the university I'm going to do open university where I can study at home as I don't like working with other people and my parents can keep an eye on me.

I feel like an utter failure because I let things get on top of me and have decided to quit. To be honest I'm scared everyday and worry about my future as I can't go to new places without my parents and my anxiety and depression is out of control.

I need some serious help, I just want to be happy.