I don't know if that's the right place but   


I'm so freaking tired trying to distract myself from.... I don't know what, I just try to distract myself 24/7 with funny or interesting things...anything that will grasp my attention long enough. Right now, I've finished a drawing a few days ago and I feel restless, angry and anxious. I've been playing video games for hours to feel occupied, even missing classes to do so, but here I am, tired of video games, and now I'm anxiously scrolling down reddit, Spotify, twitter. ...Aimless as always. I don't have the inspiration to draw now, so I'm caught in a very frustration period of time with nothing to keep me busy. I go to college and have work to do, but it's no fun and usually makes me feel worse and increases my agitation.   


I get suicidal everytime it happens, I keep hearing those thoughts "I HATE LIVING"  so I just try even harder to distract myself like my life depends on it...literally. Is it what my life has came to? I can't find anything that makes me feel fine for long enough.