Gonna start this by saying I'm 21 F.

I've always only ever had a couple of friends at a time. I had a group of girl friends at school but always felt left out because they'd known each other since they were kids and I was just like a side piece... For the past few years since leaving school pretty much all of my friends have been guys, and even then, it's still only a couple at a time. 

That doesn't really bother me, having a lot of friends stresses me out, but what does bother me is that I see all of my friends and anyone else I know having groups of friends and group chats with all their friends and nights out with them all. I don't have any of that.

What bothers me more is that I don't have a group of female friends like every other girl seems to have. Currently I have one girl friend but she has other girl friends who are more important to her than me (she makes that obvious) and she'd never invite me to hang out with all of them.

Girls just never seem to like me and I don't know why. At this point they kinda make me uncomfortable because I feel like they're always looking down on me because I'm nowhere near a typical girl, always been more tomboy, but even when I try to fit in it's just not enough.

Usually I can shake this feeling by remembering that the few friends I do have are really great even though they're guys and I can't talk to them like I'd talk to my girlfriends (if i had any), but now I feel like I'm having an existential crisis and realising that I only have this one lifetime and what if I'm like the only girl ever to go through life surrounded only by guys... I just want some girls my age to chat with and go out with :( it's kinda boring always going out with a group of boys and then all of them leaving to go hit on girls...

I don't know if anyone can relate to this, but I feel so alone and worthless. I just don't understand why no matter how hard I try I can't have what everyone else does. I guess it didn't help that I went to a primary school where I was the only girl in my year (there was like 16 boys and 9 girls in the whole school) but I couldn't really help that...