I try to look on the bright side, but sometimes it’s so hard to remember the stuff that’s happen, that you did, and the ways you didn’t help yourself. It can feel really isolating and depressing and you just wish that you could be normal and live a normal life. I wish I didn’t drain most people, I wish that my relationships didn’t end in me being cut off, I wish that the stuff I did in the past never happened. I can’t change it, and I’m trying to work through everything but sometimes it hard to feel that guilt the shame and the frustration and the continual work of having to keep going