I don’t know how long I’ve been just going with the flow. Doing whatever presents itself. Not thinking about the consequences and then hating myself every night. Doing everything I could to keep myself from losing my fp. And then I was smoking in my room and I snapped back into myself. I have motivations now and I’m excited for life and I want to see people. I don’t know what to label this post but I just feel I see everything so clearly right now and I’m going to take some steps to make sure I don’t fall into that again.