I have been no contact with my mom for months now because seeing her puts me back in my old self; more depressed, more negative, less confident, more anxious, etc..I notice I feel like this song anyone in my family.. even my cousin, idk why this happens to me but it makes me want to cry. I saw my cousin yesterday for a few minutes and that alone triggered me enough to not want to do anything for the rest of the day and all these thoughts kept going in my head about my past, family, her family..her problems, etc..it just drained me. It just sucks because she can be really sweet and always been nice to me but the way she carries herself, I can tell she tries to be positive but there’s so much underneath she’s hiding and it almost seems fake to me, and makes me think that I can’t be real with myself if she can’t..Idk, maybe I have a problem with everyone I know and just deserve to be alone..