It seems that these symptoms have taken over. I have a BPD ex-friend (why aren't we friends anymore, you ask? BPD.) who has half of the symptoms. He doesn't have dissociation.
Is it wrong of me to be bitter that he doesn't and i'm suffering?
It's my worst symptom. It's been happening way too often &amp; I wish i'd be able to snap out of it quickly. Does anyone know any ways to get rid of it? I'm freaking myself out.. When I am dissociating I have anxiety and feel like I'm having a psychotic episode. But it's all internally. No one can tell, unless they pay close attention to my movements. 
I'm on 450mg of Wellbutrin, I know that that worsens anxiety. I can't substitute it for an SSRI because tests have proven that it worsens my depression and PTSD. Yay comorbidity. 
It's scary when people ask to describe myself. The first things that come to mind are my disorders. Sometimes I can't help myself. Other times I refrain from mentioning them. Mostly because BPD isn't a lovely thing to have and isn't well known.
My only wish at the moment is to have someone, anyone in my life to understand. I'm tired of being this dramatic, erratic person. I'm tired of not being able to talk to people, and when I do I come across as rude. It doesn't happen very often-- I can't make eye contact. 
I'm sick of it all, therapy isn't helping, my DBT workbook isn't helping, medications aren't helping.
I'm a lost cause.