I find it really hard to leave a relationship when it goes bad. It’s not that I like the toxicity or the drama - I’m able to recognise when there’s something wrong. I just find it really hard to forget the person I idealised so much. I can’t ignore the love I feel for them. I’m just about willing to do anything to fix it. And it sometimes honestly scares me how much of my boundaries disappear when there’s a threat of losing someone I’m codependent on. I guess in a way I’m blinded by it. I ignore all the times where things went bad. I know in part it’s to do with a fear of being alone too. BPD makes it really hard for me to leave people even when it’s probably the most healthy thing to do.