i am newly in a relationship, it's been a month and i haven't been in one for 3 years since a highly traumatic end to my last one who was my fp! 😆 this person is genuinely so sweet and we're v similar, we both have autism and have a lot in common too.. she seems really special and for the first time ever in my life i've felt almost instantly comfortable with someone and felt mostly without insecurity about myself.. 
ive been struggling with borderline splitting and object impermanence, i only feel close, safe and connected to her when she's giving me love in that very moment, the second it goes away i assume she could have easily changed her feelings and mind about me so then i subconsciously entirely detach and she feels like a stranger.. it got so bad this week i was genuinely on the edge of splitting on her.. she's genuinely WONDERFUL and so far really has no red flags, can anyone provide me with coping skills that'll help me in these situations like splitting or panic, thank you in advance 💗