QUICK RANT HAHA. My mood just changes so fucking quickly. I have the mood swings whilst also been dealing with feeling absolutely nothing. I cannot feel normal emotions. I cannot feel love, hate, care, anything. I know now I do not actually want to do die, but when I get REALLY FUCKING HAPPY I JUST WANT TO CUT AND CUT MORE. The “happier” I am the deeper I cut. I do not cut for the purpose of dying, I just like the feeling. I haven’t had the manic high in a bit, but more so hypomania shit. Anyway, since I cannot feel anything, I am not capable of actually caring for things. I do care for things and all of course, I just can’t FEEL it. I want to be there, understand, accept, and help other people. I feel that is my purpose. It just sucks that I cannot feel the love I give or the love I am given. I know I’ll eventually feel guilty for some reason cause I posted this and will probably delete it and I don’t know why, but there you go.