For background: I’m a 32 year old male (and possibly coming to terms with being non-binary) who has dealt with generalized anxiety disorder and depression for the majority of my life, and there has been an on and off effort for the last 10 years to get some sort of handle on it. I have good years, but mostly the bad times overshadow all of the positives I’ve experienced in my life, and on paper, I’m an objectively successful and well off individual. I still see my mental health as a huge work in progress, though. Currently I am in the early process of starting with a new therapist.

 I’ve lived in my current city my entire life, which is a fairly large metropolitan area (but also not close to any of the biggest). While the city itself is great, I find that my brain has associated a lot of negative emotions and memories to physical locations. Because of this, I find it extraordinarily difficult to move on from past traumas and grow as a person. Every time I leave my house I’m reminded of a painful childhood memory, a past relationship, or a version of myself that I cannot stand to be reminded of. And when there aren’t acutely negative memories, everything else evokes an empty poignancy that weighs heavily on my chest, which brings up unbearable feelings of loneliness.  I once had someone tell me that they felt the same way, and that this city felt like it had a ghost on every corner - a sentiment that I greatly identify with. 

A very common thing I’ve been told/have heard is to not run from your issues, and that moving wont solve the big problems in your life, which I can absolutely understand.  I, however, feel that I have come to terms with that about myself, and my actual physical location is holding me back.  It feels as if I am in a poisonous miasma that prevents me from taking a good look at myself and being able to move on from the things in my past that I am ashamed of.

 So, my question here is - has anybody in this community felt similarly as I do? Has moving away helped you move on and grow as a person? Or did you find that moving away only exacerbated your mental health issues?