I tried to kill myself the day before yesterday, chickened out and felt extremely vulnerable. Then it passed and I decided I needed to get better so went on to see a psychiatrist. Came back feeling a little better.

I opted to work on Saturday because my work had been shoddy for while and was feeling fine but they sent me back saying I don't look ok but nothing out of the ordinary had happened. I don't talk much anyways and when I asked them what was wrong they told me Im looking weird.

I'm alone for the weekend and I feel this fog or clarity or emptiness in my head. I haven't had any thoughts for I don't know how long and I feel like I'm going to die soon. I'm not talking about harming myself. 

Just a feeling like that I'm moving very fast to my end and no matter how long it would take in the number of days they would just pass in a blink and I'd be no more. Like I'm time travelling to my end and I can't fall asleep.