My best mate (of 3 years) is classic BPD, has been diagnosed for about 7 years. I got diagnosed with quiet BPD about 2 months ago. It seems to have taken a subtle toll on our friendship, cause we have barely seen each other since. 

Anyway, she's had an episode and disappeared for an entire night on her fiancé and won't get in touch with anyone - other than an email to him to say she's okay at 5am but isn't coming back. 

I'm so used to these outward episodes and I find them so infuriating to deal with cause sometimes I just want to do something off the wall like that and have everyone worrying about me. But I don't. Because guilt. Because I know people have lives. I've only done that when I took the overdose that led to my diagnosis and that's because I no longer knew how to cope. 

Anyway, I'm upset with myself because I think the more this shit happens, the more I'm splitting on her. Even though we have the same disorder technically, I can't help but think her behaviour is unfair and uncalled for. 

I split her black for about 3 weeks after she last did this. Maybe it's a manifestation of my abandonment fears against someone who should really fucking understand? 