thats a pretty vague title so i should probably be more specific; for example, when something triggers me, my thought process goes like:

*oh im upset* \-&gt; *this thing im upset over is something stupid* \-&gt; *im a selfish cunt that shoudlnt get mad over stupid shit* \-&gt; *why am i like this \[borderline\]* \-&gt; *i hate myself* \-&gt; *i hate my mother bc shes the reason im like this.*

my mother was consistently abusive during my entire childhood and teens. she denied that i had any problems and would threaten to take away everything of mine and isolate me if i wasnt being the socially-adjusted and A+ student she wanted to show off. when i was suicidal, she told me that she'd call the cops; and magically, just like that \[in her eyes\] i was cured of my problems. shes incredibly narcissistic and likes to show everyone what a *picture perfect* family she has. because of that, i got really good at pretending. i got really good at keeping my problems in; i was kind of forced to. as of now, im an adult that cannot function on my own bc of mental illnesses and disorders that stem directly from my trauma. so is it right for me to be angry at her? is it right for me to think *"i hate that she made me this way"?,* or is that just misplaced anger and incredibly unhealthy?