I posted this on r/advice but I’m still getting worse so I figured this was worth trying as well.

I’m 17M, which I know can make a lot of people think I’m being an overly dramatic teen. I suffer from really bad OCD, and while therapy is working on the compulsion side of things, it isn’t working as much on my obsessions. I know I would be overprotective and oversensitive to the point that it would end up hurting any woman I’m with (for example, I have this weird obsession that led me to wanting to get into gynecology just to make sure any future girlfriend wouldn’t get touched by a creep). I know it is fightable to some extent, but trying is also very physically exhausting and painful, often leading to no results. As such, I have decided it is best that I die alone. Naturally, as soon as my worries are slightly gone, women start complimenting me and asking for my number for like the first time in forever. So now I’m thinking of what that would be like. It just hurts a bit because I know that a part of me is a romantic that wants to make a partner feel happy and smile, but the best way to do that feels like it would be to leave said partner alone so they don’t have to go through my problems. Even if I wanted to find someone despite my faults, I feel that nobody would want to deal with the extra issues. Any advice to leaving this feeling behind me?