22 yo male. I do not want to live this shitty life anymore. The past 4 years have been an awful downward spiral of failure after failure.  It’s been going on for longer than that though. I’ve got too many problems, made too many mistakes, failed too many college courses, missed too many opportunities, missed out on too many friendships and relationships. I continually withdraw and isolate myself. I cannot function, all I do lie in bed and try to distract myself from my awful fucking thoughts. I push away friends, my family hates me, coworkers look down on me. I can’t function. Tried therapy, tried medication, they haven’t helped. I’ve bought the rope and tied the noose, all I need to do is hang it up and do the deed. There’s no salvaging this situation, no point in trying. A house won’t hold up without a good foundation and my foundation is shit to begin with and deteriorating fast.

No idea why I’m posting this here