Caused by irrational things? Hating people, like absolutely fucking despising them, without even knowing them because I’m jealous of how the person I love gives them attention. Getting blackout drunk and calling someone over 100 times telling him I hope he dies and screaming at the top of my lungs. 

I can’t control it. Trying to let go, we’re broken up and it was my choice, and I’m talking to other people (to pass time and keep my mind occupied not because I really like them) and yet the thought of my ex doing that makes me so sick. 

I hate being able to recognize things but being unable to change them in myself. Like how do I stop my blood from getting too hot or my stomach from dropping or my throat from tightening? 