Hi...  


I was dating my girlfriend since 2017, we were good with each other that year and broke up at the end of 2018 because of some reasons that i created, i mean i did some problems that lead to our first breaking up, but i thank god for that because i finally knew myself better and thought of my personality and tried to develop it, and the same happened to my girlfriend.

in January 2019 i tried to get her back, she mentioned that she still loves me but she refused and told me she has no energy to have a romantic relationship again, and she may remain this way forever. and that was enough for me to try to forget her as i thought, but i was deeply in love with her.  


in August we got our relationship back, i was a new person that time because i knew myself better honestly, and she told me that she was trying to develop herself in our seperation period, she said that she couldnt forget me nor stopping to love.   


after a while she started to open up about her mental health, about her mood swings and fake memories issues. she didnt mention anything about this in our first relationship.  


since three months from now our relationship has been unhealthy and went down, she became isolated and have feelings of fear, her family's environment is not good though. and and she is having a super strong insomnia and kind of symbolic dreams and nightmares... since 3 months till now we werent texting that much, a week may pass without talking, it looked like we became so bored.  
she becomes cold toward me usually.  
she told me that she has no energy for anything and she feels emotionally numb and empty, and also that she has no will to try to help herself to fix her mental health for how sluggish she is. and that she fears herself, and she doesnt like herself being alive.  


i started to feel lonely, and thinking if she stopped loving me or if she will be okay without me or if im making everything to her worse. im someone who doesnt have a strong presence in people's life but my family. so im afraid if she forgets about me over time. and i became so insecure with her.  


two days ago, i asked her if her feelings toward me are still the same. she asked what am i going to do after she answers... she answered that she still loves me, and she doenst have attachment feelings toward me and she sure is not being with me because she's attached but because she loves me (spiritually), and that her sleep schedule is messed up and sleeps the whole day and wakes up at 6pm, and this made her feel numb all the time. I really do understand her. and i cant help her because it's gonna be worse as i know. im sure she doesnt wait for help from me. but i dont know what to do. i dont want to break up with her, and im not willing to give up on our relationship.  


I wonder if she dated someone else she would become better, because i sometimes think that i am useless to her and that she doesnt need me in her life. and i dont know what her feelings are toward her friends or she's behaving this way only with me.  


i forgot to mention that she's obsessed with BTS, this makes me annoyed sometimes because of some reasons like needing and stuff.