I feel like a terrible friend. With this whole pandemic and having to quarantine and isolate ourselves I started to slowly withdraw from everyone. I slowly stopped talking to my friends when they tried to stay in contact with me. After 3 months I contacted them and they asked why I stopped talking to them, I told them about my mental health and I feel like they think I am lying. One of them hasn't even tried contacting me and the other one said they lost my phone number...I think they are just mad at me because I've pushed them away but I was completely honest with them and now I don't even know if I should reach out to them because I'm scared I'm going to push them away again. I have no friends because I keep doing this sh\*t and I'm afraid that if I try to fix our friendship I'm going to do the same thing again and hurt them even more but then in the back of my head I feel like they don't care about my mental health because they haven't even reached out to see if I am ok. Which I am NOT by the way...BPD SUCKS!!