I am really struggling today. Last night I got far too drunk, and did something stupid which I regret and it’s damaged a relationship with a friend. I’ve realised my relationship with alcohol is not a good one. I don’t like myself when I drink. I need to make a change going forward, it’s been a wake up call. Today has also been the first day I’ve thought suicidal thoughts and it’s freaked me out. I’ve always had anxiety but this is next level. I feel like such a terrible person, I always screw the good things in my life up. I just think this world would be better off if I wasn’t here.