tw: argument w mother, possible emotional invalidation 

a recurring issue with my mother is her complete inability to comfort me. i’m having an awful day today, and am stuck living at home with her. i told her that I’m feeling awful and explained why, and she did what she always does which is, which is saying “okay but here is why *i’m* feeling bad too.”

i ended up blowing up at her later because she just kept doing small things to upset me and i ended up just snapping and telling her how i am beyond expecting her to or asking her to comfort me or mother me, im not asking her to rub my back when i cry or hug me and tell me things will be okay.  i just want her to stop invalidating how i feel by immediately replying to my pain with her own in an “ok and?” way. that i just want her to tell me she understands and loves me and let my feelings be the topic of discussion instead of deflecting with an “okay but”

she told me this isn’t invalidation and is just how conversations work. she knows i have bpd, i’ve begged her to stop invalidating me before. i’ve begged her to comfort me but like i said, i’ve given up on that. i just want to know if this is actually invalidation or if i’m just being selfish