does anybody else ever ‘get better’ for a short period of time? it could be a couple of weeks to a couple of months. for example: during quarantine i finally for once didn’t have an fp to obsess over. my energy i would normally direct towards my fp was instead directed towards myself. i felt confident and happy. i felt independent and like my next relationship would be happy and healthy. i felt like i was ready for a relationship. then bam! i do get into a relationship, and everything comes crashing back down. the black and white thinking comes back and i’m miserable again. the cycle was repeating all over again. i just can’t seem to ever be in love with someone without constantly feeling like my heart is getting squeezed like a sponge but blood is pouring out instead of water. it’s scary. it feels like you can’t ever escape the torture that is yourself.