I'm so incredibly sorry. Every day that goes by makes me miss you more and more. I feel so trapped in how sick I am and disgusted by myself. I can't think of anything besides the pain I've put you through and I completely hate myself because of it. I'm trash. I'm absolute trash. You're pulling away and I'm happy for you. I really am. I'm insane for believing you could trust me again. I can't even trust me. What the fuck does two weeks of sobriety even mean? I'm just doing the opposite. I'm closed off completely because I don't expect to ever be able to love again. Why the hell should I? If loving someone just means that I'm going to put people through hell over and over? I'm a monster. My actions prove that. I'm broken. I'm fucking broken. I'm tired of living.