This is a thing that i have not been able to talk about in therapy, or to anyone really.

Before i was interested in sex as a teen, i was turned on when i saw violence in the movies.

Not anything super hardcore, i mean movies like Hard Candy, where the girl pretended to cut the guys balls off. Or Pulp Fiction where the guy was shot in the balls at the basement. Specifically violence against men, and im a woman.

I have gently dominated guys in bed, but that’s not the same rush. And i dont want to hurt anyone i know, just sometimes i get these violent fantasies about hurting random guys.

It’s not a problem because i would never do it. I think it comes from feeling helpless, not having control, etc or something.

Nowdays i try to not watch movies with that kind of violence, so that i dont accidentally reinforce the feeling that ”violence=sexual pleasure”. 

Just wanted to know if anyone has similar experiences, of has insights or something?