My cousins had the luxury of having their mom there for them through almost every part of their life. My aunt had them when she was 18. I was adopted by people in their late 20’s and I’m comparing it and I won’t have my parents there for me when I’m older. I love them so much and I don’t want to lose them. And because of that I don’t want to being a child into the world only for them to watch me die half way through their life. 

A part of me wises I kept the baby when I was 16 because I could have been there for them.