this is just a venting bc i feel lonely. i cant believe there are people who feel good and do things during the day like. i just feel bad and sad 24 hours a day (or most of the day) and i think about suicide and cry every day for years. like, i could just be a normal person and have hobbies and dreams and have fun but i feel absurdly bored and anxious all the time. i can barely get out of bed. i feel like i am existing in a wrong way