College is the bane of my existence. No one my life seems to understand the feeling of worthlessness and hatred I feel for myself during college. I’ve already missed the first week and I’m behind in one of my classes. I don’t have the energy to do to homework this class requires on top of other homework. 

Counting this semester I’ll be 19 credits away from graduating, only if I don’t fail any. I really want to drop out but fear I’ll be ostracized by my parents and family. I’m sure I’d regret not graduating but I see it as “the worse my life gets, the easier it’ll be to end it.” I don’t see myself as smart, I have a low gpa, I don’t have any energy to do homework or to study, I barely have energy to go to class.

It seems like every time I try to talk to my parents about it, we either get into a screaming match or they just ignore the issue. Im crying for help, I even said that I should go back to therapy and I got no response. No one in my family relates. They’re all smart, passionate, driven, and motivated while I’m just disappointing loser.