I was horrible and awful and no amount of trying to do better or therapy helped me control my outbursts and finally it was too much. 

It’s been 10 years of him feeling shitty being with me and my behaviours and finally he’s realized he is worth more. 

He is. As someone who loves him - he made the right choice. I’m too fucked up to love him properly. 

I’m devastated. I hate who I am. I hate that I ruined my family. I hate myself. 

I can’t breathe or sleep or eat and I have to be a parent somehow. 

He is the love of my life. He is my forever. And he’s gone. 