I remember back when I was religious in my early teens I was so anxious and manic that I thought demons were attacking me in my sleep and that the devil was turning me gay. Nowadays it's obviously not like that but looking back at that made me think.

I wanna say that at least 75% of the shit I worry about starts out as a little thought, like oh my FP didn't text me back thats cool they're probably busy, then it stumbles into "oh it's been 2 hours, did I do something wrong", then it goes to "FUCK i'm so pathetic i'm so stupid for trusting this person I bet they hate me and are trying to sabotage me I'm gonna split on them I deserve better fuck this"  and I create imaginary fairytale events in my head and map out what it's gonna look like when my FP relationship burns down in flames, I romanticise the depression i'll go into afterwards and start daydreaming about SH and my dramatic fallout, I make sad playlists and stay in my room all day.

But then they text me back and I'm perfectly fine. It's embarrassing how often this happens and how many times I have to explain to people "sorry I was just overthinking it".

ITS SO FRUSTRATING!  It's like my brain can't tell whats really worth worrying about, like if I put the type of concern I have for my FP or people that I love in general into something worth worrying about like my grades at Uni or career I'd be a successful millionaire at 20.  Jeez perspective sucks.