Let me preface this by saying I am not anti vaxx- I’m just mentally ill and it gets in the way of everything and makes even the smallest things feel like life or death.
I want to do it but I’m just so scared. I know I’m putting myself in so much danger not getting it but I have this irrational fear that the vaccine will have negative effects, even if small, I’m still so scared…I’m also afraid it will have negative long term effects. Even tho no one in my family has had any complications I’m still terrified. And even tho I know getting covid is SO much worse I still can’t find the courage to go and get it. :( My family are upset I haven’t got it yet and they’re afraid to go places cuz they don’t want to give me covid and I feel bad. Last time I tried my parents made me an appointment (I’m 17 btw) and I got ready to go and everything even tho I was shaking while doing so and had been having multiple anxiety attacks since the appointment was made by then and before we were going to go I just broke down crying and had another anxiety attack. I’ve been trying so hard to work towards it and I’m so sick of being terrified of getting covid and I know I’m being so irrational and dumb. I should just do it but it’s way too much for me. I don’t know what to do. I was going to end my life last night but my friends talked me out of it. This (and a bunch of other factors) is just too much, I can’t take it anymore. Please go easy on me, please don’t send me hate, I already know I’m dumb