Hi, I have been lurking here for a few weeks and I am so glad to have found this community. I have learned so much already but I know that there is still so much that I don't know or understand, and that's why I'm reaching out. Thanks in advance to anyone who can help!

My husband (44) and daughter (22) were both very recently diagnosed with BPD. To my knowledge I have never known anyone but them with BPD, at least not well, so I immediately began researching the disorder to death in an effort to understand their behaviors, the potential causes, and how to best love and support them. I feel like I "understand" it on a high level now, but when it comes to *actually* providing the love and support that I want to give them, I feel like I don't know what I'm doing and even sometimes that I make things worse. 

I struggle with my own mental health as well (just regular old GAD and panic disorder with a dash of depression thrown in for fun) so I do understand that things aren't consistent from person to person or even moment to moment. I'm not expecting anything to "work" perfectly every time, but I'm hoping for lots of ideas to keep in my toolbox.

I don't really have a specific incident that I can reference and ask for advice about because it's all so new and I don't want to point at particular behaviors and say "yes, that's the BPD" yet...so I guess I'll ask a more general question and hope for useful information. **When you are experiencing symptoms or exhibiting behaviors associated with BPD, what is going through your mind and what is the best thing a caring person could do for you during that time?**

Thank you so much for your help!