Lol like I ever had it. This weekend I've been laying in bed cutting, planning my suicide, pouring bleach into a glass almost drank and pussied out because I'm a coward. Went to a bridge and almost jumped but couldn't because there were people there. I've rang in sick for three  days. I've made the mistake of talking to my Mom again and she pisses me off to no end and will probably need to cut her off again. I found out my Dad tried to kill himself and I don't know how to feel about that because of our last conversation (I made a post about that in raisedbynarcissists if you want the back story).

I feel stupid because it was a Sunday and I thought a cut was infected and it was kind of deep, but not to the fat or anything and it wasn't even infected. I rang 111 and they told me to go to minor injuries unit. I made the mistake of saying it was because of suicidal thoughts and I had a talk with the mental health team. After saying the resources didn't help they just gave me more resources. Now I feel even more stupid and I'm convinced they think I was just attention seeking. 

I don't know what I'm doing.