trigger warning: su1c1dal thoughts

hey, i had my first time on wednesday night with a guy i just met last weekend, i thought he liked me. turns out he just wanted to use me, like everyone. i feel so empty and depressed. i cant even cry, but it hurts do much. i just want to d1e. i want to hurt myself. i feel so alone. i hate myself. i cant stop thinking about him. he told my friend on wednesday that he isn’t serious about me. he told her before we met up. and my "friend" didn’t tell me anything about this. i feel like i was set up by all of them. i keep texting him i tried calling him he doesn’t answer. i want to call him in a few hours again. i just want to meet up with him and talk about it in person. maybe then it‘s easier to move on. if he really doesn’t want me anymore, i want him to tell me. i dont want to keep wondering if he’s going to pay attention to me. i’m just so hurt. this pain is so strong i can’t take it anymore it’s agonizing i feel like i want to explode, or not exist, or take dr0gs to make it go away. i’m so lonely and lost right now and feel useless and unlovable. idk what to do anymore