it’s hard for me to describe what this feeling is, but i feel like i’ve cornered myself to the point that the only relief i’ll be able to feel from this is venting in a place where, well at least one person will hear me(read me idk sorry for being all weird about it)

so although i feel alone i know i’m not alone. doesn’t seem to help telling myself that though. it’s like when someone compliments you on a day that you just feel ugly and greasy you know? you nod and say thanks and pretend to feel cheered up but inside it doesn’t make you feel anything. and it’s not even that i think it’s a lie. i just don’t. i just don’t? 

lately, i have been becoming more disconnected from the world. life feels muted and colorless. i’m constantly running on empty. i cant even focus on simple conversations anymore, and all of this is making me lose any connections i have. making me feel even more alone and shit. 

usually this “feeling” or “period” is just temporary but it’s been a month of this now. i wish i could at least cry and rage or anything but it’s like an emotional blockage.