I hate the thoughts i have, I wish theyd go away. Ive done awful things and am an addict. I want to stop but my brain wants to keep going. I don't know who I am anymore and if my cravings and actions are who I am, than i am truly lost and deserve death. I never asked to be this, I never wanted to be this, I didnt ask to be born with mental illnesses. If their was a way I could erase myself from the world without harming my loved ones and family Id do it instantly, I am a horrible individual and Ive proven that no meds, therapy, exercise or whatever can change that