Idk what’s wrong with me tonight but I’ve been quite manic and I had been obsessing over this essay and some other things and I had just really been wanting to call my boyfriend alone tonight. But my boyfriend was in a discord call with his friends so I let him have some fun time with them. Fast forward to 2 AM and I’m finally coaxing myself to rest. I close my eyes for like 15 minutes, then when I’m back up, I see that he’s offline and not responding to my messages. So I’m currently freaking the fuck out and almost started crying cause I was like “what did I do”, “oh my god he hates me”, “I’m not good enough”, “he doesn’t care”, “why isn’t he here with me???”. So once again I’m struggling to sleep. Fully awake right now and my chest hurts so bad. Like this anxiety-like ache. I just could really use some help.