New to this subreddit, this one needs a little bit of background to be fully understood.

Note: English is not my native language, expect typos.

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Me and my fiancé have been together for almost 2 years (21.03.2018, engaged pretty early on the 02.06.2018) and are living together since the 15.06.2018.

We met through one of my best friends at that time who is also her uncle, we used to play videogames together on our discord and generally had a good time, she was in a relationship at that time which was beyond toxic and didn't help her mental state at all, after reaching out to me in the middle of the night because she needed someone to talk to we started to talk a lot more and I eventually developed feelings for her, serious feelings. She denied her side of things at first but later admitted to have had similar feelings during that time, we met up and had awesome 10 days together, I finally helped her to get out of her hellish relationship and we got together, time flies past and we move in together, everything was fine until we started to have financial problems and a lot of paperwork related stuff going on which really took a hit on my part of the relationship, I was EXTREMELY stressed out and got emotionally so damn drained that I just couldn't fulfill the things I could before all that, mainly our sex life, if she engaged it I was all aboard, no problem at all, she is very attractive and 100% my type, but I just couldn't get myself to return the favor, it went on for months until she eventually stopped and left it all to me, it's my first real relationship, it was a lot of pressure and I could feel how much it actually impacted our relationship. Sex plays a very big part in her side of the relationship, she explained to me that because of her past, intimate or sexual activities are somewhat a confirmation for her that I still want her and that I really do love her. (Kind of hard to explain, but I think you get the point) fast forward and we are in November of this year, last time we had an somewhat active sex life was october of last year, her ex which had previously blocker her off everything because she wanted to help him finally let go off of his toxic relationship at that time suddenly apologized to her and they started to talk again, I was aware of that and had no problem with it, I trusted her, she eventually met up with him because they "had a lot to talk about" I was also okay with that. Then, the second time they met she didn't get back and stayed overnight, turns out they got seriously drunk and had sex 4 times that night, I didn't know until she tried to get me to break up the relationship because "I didn't deserve this".. I made a compromise by allowing her to explore her feelings towards him, what she really ended up doing was actually sleeping with him the first time they met again and actually have a borderline relationship, "I miss you already" texts, calling each other names and so on, how do I know? I got my hands on their chat history and she really, really wanted to "explore a full on relationship" with him, after confronting her about it she got upset that I looked through her phone and got myself some answers, understandable, even though I as her FIANCÉ feel like I should deserve the truth and answers, but oh well. Time flies by and I started to realize that she tried to somehow compare us both in terms of how it feels to be with each one of us to be in a relationship, she denies it to this day but does admit that she might have created a grey zone somehow, she thinks that choosing one of us would make her loose the other in the process.. I wrote her a final letter where I fully explained my thoughts and feelings, after she read it she said she wants to try again and felt this feeling that was lacking in our relationship recently and actually ensisted on putting the ring back on (I bought new ones since the old ones were to small, first time wearing it actually) and now we're here, I haven't brought it up again since I want the situation to cool off first.

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I knew from the start of the relationship that she needs constant love and confirmation, and a big part of that is sex as I mentioned, I can understand that at that point she was just desperately looking for love and this confirmation, I can overlook this mistake since she really is sorry for how it turned out, my problem is how much she actually lied straight to my face.

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Now I ask you /r/BPD should I give it my all and make sure that this does not happen again or should I reconsider my future with her? (I have to mention that we are finanically bound to each other for at least one year because of bills)