Since i was seven i was obligate to like boys and pink, an be catholic, i never feeled okay with this but i wanted to make my mom happy so i just faked that this girl that liked pink and boys and were catholic it was me. Once i get in the fourth year of elementary i started being myself, and it didnt go well, every day i was getting hit by my parents just bc i had a opinion different then thir ones. A bonus happend in that year, i was sexually harassed on the theather, two traumas like in 3 months.  After this stuff my life started to get worse and worse, i discovered myself as a pansexual and i was to traumatized that i couldnt tell anyone about it, pls dont judge i was scared with all of this. My are homophobic an like even now that they know they fake that i am straight and that i am a perfect little girl, one time tried to... u know and all off this shit, i didnt worked and they knowed the motives but they faked that the motive was "internet". I am just so fuckin tired of this ive been really thinkin of bad things an im not fine, pls guys tell me what to do, for real i really need help please