I’ve had social anxiety for as long as I can remember, I would and still do have small conversations putting up a false confidence in front of other people just to then repeat that conversation hundreds of times in my head knowing full well that person definitely doesn’t give a damn in the first place.

Though recently I’ve hit a few milestones which I think have greatly improved my mental state. Ive graduated from high school, and passed the drivers test. And when I had the opportunity to get myself some new clothes on a family trip I ended up getting a bomber jacket which I’ve always just liked the look of but never once dreamed of using in public. And it’s only now that I realize nobody gives less than two shits what I wear making it easier for me to enjoy myself. 

I no longer overthink medical issues in the family at night and Im genuinely excited to start driving soon, in addition, I have a much clearer path of what I want to study in college as a person who has never had the best grades or any hobbies other than the internet. 

I understand maybe some if not all these things may not come to fruition and that my anxiety may someday worsen the moment shit hits the fan. But I guess the feeling is nice and I trust there is always something better should we just look for it.