I’m feeling invalidated tbqh. Everybody says it shouldn’t matter, but I hate that I don’t meet the criteria for any specific mental illness even though I’m severely mentally ill. Like—

Depersonalization-Derealization disorder. I’ve been in an episode nonstop since 2015, meet the criteria, except, oops, I have delusions so that’s a no. 

Bipolar I (current diagnosis “For now” -my psychiatrist). Never had a manic episode, and my delusions aren’t limited to mood episodes, so it doesn’t fit.

Schizoaffective. No negative symptoms, that’s out.

I feel like I’m drowning 24/7. My main “delusion” is that the world isn’t real, which is very inconvenient because my constant dissociation triggers it. 

Every medication that I’ve tried hasn’t really worked, and I feel like I could slip into the deep end of delusions at lit. any moment. 

I wish I could know what’s wrong with me. I wish I could have some hope for my symptoms getting better. 

Thank you for reading. I wanted to get this out there. I hope you all find the same peace I hope for.