i usually don't share private shit like this but since i don't even talk to my best friend or to my girlfriend anymore i think this could at least distract me a little bit. i'm 17 &amp; tired of everyone &amp; everything. school's hard, waking up is painful, i don't eat &amp; drink that much anymore (sometimes my first meal of the day is dinner), i don't talk to my parents anymore, going out is exhausting &amp; everything overwhelms me. i changed a lot in the past 9 months. i started to go to therapy, went to hospital cuz of an overdose &amp; i'm not just the same boy anymore. i can't feel happiness or pleasure for any long time. it's always for a few hours but it comes back every single day. i don't have the strength to do homework &amp; shit. i'm always overthinking the same bullshit for years now &amp; it kills me. i'm fighting everyday &amp; from day to day it seems like i fight less &amp; less. it's getting too much &amp; i can't talk to everyone bc it's so embarrassing for me. everyone is doin fine although they got their own shit to deal with but they still manage all that shit. i don't talk to my therapist since months. i lie to her to get rid off her tbh. and it worked. only a few lessons left &amp; then i won't have to see her again. nothing's helping. 
it feels like i'm losing this fight &amp; i don't even care if i lose. 
i just want it to end soon.