Hello everyone. I wanted to come on here for some advice or maybe just to see if people may know what’s wrong with me. I’m 21 male from England. All my life I have moved around the uk. Never really settled in the same place. Had friends along the way but nothing ever lasted longer than a couple of years. For as long as I can remember now I have felt nothing like a total numbnesses and In a way it’s fine but I also want to experience happiness and joy like others do. The only emotion i seem to experience is anger. I am sometimes very impulsive with my anger. I have strong urges for sex, People come and go but I never want anything more. The people I work with and family often tell me I’m cold and don’t show empathy. which has always confused me as I have no idea what I do wrong. I often sit and think of what I could have done better in some situations but it feels unnatural for me to pretend to do things which seem empathetic. At the age of 19 my parents wanted me to go to some type of therapy I refused. After 6 months I told them I would go to the doctors. The doctor basically told me to fuck off and gave me propranolol which did nothing but make me sleepy. I have thought about running away somewhere and going in the French foreign legion. Violence has always been an escape in a way that alcohol, sex, movies and drugs have been. I love being alone all by myself and this will never change but I just feel like there’s something missing and it’s getting harder for me to live like this.