For the first time in my life i have been having serious suicidal thoughts, such as where and how i would do it. Only thing stopping me is religious purposes 

For context i have almost no support system or friends i have been without any strong connection most of my life and the past few months i have been trying to get an office job because i hate physical work but havent been able to find one without degree requirements. What should i do at this point? Im completely lost and scared