I'm so tired of this mental illness, I cannot stop what I'm doing, fuck this mentality, I want to get out of this shit, I'm so tired but I'm really struggling to get away with this. I am currently a college student, this mental illness is making my life worse, my confidence is becoming low, I feel like a scumbag in a society that deserves to be killed, when I see kids my eyes are unconsciously looking at sensitive parts, my school grades as having this addiction consumes a lot of my time.

Please, I am so ashamed of myself, I don't have anywhere to go, I'm scared that I might do something I'll regret in my whole life in the near future (I haven't done anything as of now), I don't want my life to be ruined, can somebody help me?

I know people will be mad at me, I understand, but just give me an advice.