My boyfriend of 5 years always reminds me he loves me, and hes a supportive. But his actions make me thing he may be happier without me. We were supposed to watch a Christmas movie last night and drink hot chocolate and passed out me. I'm also feeling down because my bff/fp hasn't been talking with me for a few days now. And on top of it, where I work I deal with security a lot, and there's this one guard I have a crush on, or obsessing over. Was flirting with me one day, and then when he found out I had bpd he started acting different towards me. And he has a gf so I completely understand and wouldn't do more than just flirting, but it still hurts. All these symptoms and being aware of what's going on is all new to me, and its not like I'm being abandoned from neither of the three people, although the last one I shouldn't really care about. Why does bpd have to be a hard thing to live with? 