tw// Abuse , pictures of abuse, sexual assault/suicide

reference-bpd/major chronic depression/anxiety disorder
I stopped taking my medicine(AND BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING EVERY MEDICATION IVE EVER BEEN PUT ON DID NOT HELP AT ALL THATS WHY I HAVE BEEN ON SO MANY-SORRY FOR THE CAPS I JUST DONT WANT PEOPLE TO IGNORE THIS)

I've stopped caring. I've been emotionally abused-psychically abused for a long time Everytime I tell someone they don't believe me. literally I've called CPS 3 times when I was a teenager. they did nothing. I told my therapist my mom tried to smother me with a pillow when I was 10 and yes It did happen. but my parents manipulated the situation and I was the one who got put in. pysch ward at 12 (2 years after the incident). I think about my mom trying to kill me every. single. day. I am 19 now. so 9 years I've been thinking about it everyday. my father hits me, example. I stayed up till 3am and fell asleep on the living room couch. I woke to my dad throwing water on me and then he started to choke and punch me giving me a black eye and neck burns. I even have photo evidence of the abuse. i tried getting out of the situation but my parents won't leave me alone. I was homeless last month. they kept calling and showing up at the homeless shelter after I told them to leave me alone and they called the cops on me for nothing. they manipulate me allot. 

so I gave up trying. I figured id just live with the abuse. I don't want to be homeless again because someone decided to assault  me in an abandoned house at 4am. im suffering. and no one cares. no one believes me. I'm not suicidal at the moment. I haven't been "suicidal" for a week now. I used to be happy. 

I hope everyones having a good day tho. :)))