Sometimes I wonder how much of my thinking and decisions comes from my bpd and how much of it is genuinely right. Little backstory on my relationship, I’m 21/F he’s 21/M we were best friends for a few years and started dating a year ago, our relationship used to have a lot of high highs and low lows that I provoked bc I fed off of the chaos, being good for too long bothered me and it just felt off. My boyfriend is the opposite of me, way more passive, calm, being the one to avoid conflict, seek resolutions and helping me work through things he’s been very supportive I love him with everything in me. After starting counseling and learning coping strategies that I’ve been able to apply to my life and my relationship, things have been a lot better but I just can’t get myself to fully trust him bc he has this really bad habit of lying about little things. It’s always small things that don’t really matter like whether he turned in an assignment for his online classes or whether he called his sister back, it’s never big serious lies. We’ve talked about this and it’s something he’s aware of, growing up he had a very abusive childhood so compulsive lying became a defensive mechanism for him. When we discuss it he says he knows it’s an issue and it has been his whole life, he’s never been able to get really close to people bc he always had to make some story up even when he was little about why he has bruises or why he didn’t have parents around like all the other kids. He says he doesn’t even think about it sometimes it’s just the first thing that comes to his head and he just blurts it out which I know is also due to his severe ADHD. He realizes that it negatively affects everyone close to him especially our relationship and I really have seen him making progress since the beginning but there’s still the occasional lie here and there, it’s hurts so much when I find out it’s not true not because it’s something serious but I think more so bc it’s something so small and dumb he shouldn’t lie about, and bc it breaks trust I keep trying to build up so it feels like a slap in the face to our progress. I know my bpd also pushes my emotions making me feel like everything is much worse than it is, but my therapy methods have helped me learn to not overreact and approach it calmly but I also wonder at what point is it a justifiable reaction?? Like am I overreacting bc of my bpd and we can keep working on things or should I realize that’s just how he is and I can’t be with someone like that because I’ll never be able to fully trust them? Because besides his compulsive lying on these little things we have a great relationship, he’s honestly amazing and super supportive of me, is willing to talk things through and admit when he’s wrong and we work really well together on overcoming obstacles. I don’t want to lose my best friend and boyfriends but I don’t know what to do at this point.