I have an online friend who always wants me to voice chat. Whenever I enter a voice chat, I'm always way too nervous to even speak, I literally don't want people to hear my voice, I'm scared to say anything, anything I try to say comes out wrong. I remember a few times in the past, I joined a voice chat and tried to make a joke to try and "fit in" but it came out weird and I got insulted and mocked. I also remember once talking to someone who seemed really interested in me over text, but then when we voice called, her whole attitude shifted and she stopped talking to me. I just really, really, really hate voice chats. It doesn't help that I hate my voice and got targeted and made fun of for it in high school. 

As for the friend in particular, she wanted me to join her with her friends in a voice chat one night. It took a TON of mental preparation and coaxing but I joined it, but I was so nervous and barely spoke, my heart was in my throat. And then it started to look weird because I was just "there" and staying totally silent, which naturally drew even MORE attention to myself. And then her friends got suspicious of me because I wasn't talking. It was just a total trainwreck. I left the voice chat and she started asking me if I didn't like her friends or something, and I just said no, I get anxious over voice chat and it's really hard for me to talk. 

She claimed that she understood, but I don't know if she did because she still asks me every day to join voice chat. And even the question alone makes me panic. Like, do I join voice chat and most definitely make a total ass out of myself (as that's exactly what happens every time), or do I say I don't want to and look like I'm uninterested, or worse, an insecure loser? God. I hate voice chats. Can anyone relate?