**TL;RD:** Have you had any success in long term relationships, and if so, how?

I've been dating my SO for about 3 years now, which is incredible to me. I was very sure she'd leave me at some point very long ago. I split with her for a long time, but after about 2 years I stopped splitting with her which was pretty cool for me. Her, along with maybe five or so other people, fit that description.

Anyway, she and I are graduating college soon, and she's asked me about getting serious long-term. The fact that this is a consideration for me is something I never thought would happen after my diagnosis. Anyway, I'm pretty terrified to commit to her long-term. 

Though I am in the best place I've been in a very, very long time, there's always a constant fear that I'll regress into a pretty dark place. I also don't feel so comfortable having her commit to a guy who has all those problems she would have to deal with for the foreseeable future. And although I hate myself for thinking it, I can't help but feel I might miss out on some experiences committing to someone while I'm this young.

Given the nature of BPD, I've always felt more stable when I'm not in a relationship. I don't have to worry about splitting or cutting myself thinking about their every word. But on the other hand, she is an amazing person who's been by my side all this time, and I do think we might have a shot to make it long-term.

All-in-all, I'm not sure what I should do. These are the types of things about which I would normally talk to my therapist, but that obviously isn't going to happen anytime soon.

So if you're someone with BPD, how have you dealt with long-term relationships before (if at all)? I'm curious to see what experiences others have had with this issue before. Thank you!