TLDR: Due Malpractice I'm barely finding out I have bpd looking for advice and help of any kind at all!
It's been a rough 24 hrs and I would love to give a whole  big story on this mainly cause I think it would help me run it through again but I am exhausted and will probably have more energy to do that later. But right now hi I'm  nonbinary all pronouns and 21 and turning 22 next month I have been in a relationship for coming up on 3 years now. I have unknowingly been in the worse downwards nose dive with my mental health for months on end now. It has been hell for me but most definitely for my partner. Yesterday I fully confirmed Malpractice from my last therapist who was treating me with bpd and never telling me. There's more to tell and lots to elaborate on but right now I'm looking for advice and help. The past 24hr have been a roller-coaster of emotions that have been hard to handle. What do I do know? How do I self regulate and cope while I try and find the right doctor and therapist and how do I find those? And how do I heal my relationship that has been straining for months because of it? It feels hopeless through all of this and that they could never be able to help me or handle my emotions cause I'm always too much and too tiring for them. I don't know what to do and am in desperate need of advice and guidance. I'm in pain everything's so loud and confusing and now it feels like I have all the puzzle pieces but it's one of those magic eye puzzle and I have bad eye sight.