I just can't bring myself to care. When I see someone crying or otherwise feeling bad it just annoys me. No matter how hard I try, I can't develop genuine affection for someone. It's alienating and lonely. I have such a hard time relating to others and understanding them. I see people suffering and feel nothing. I wish pain on those who annoy me. I remember recently I spent some time with a girl I hated, she was always so loud and cheerful, it made me want to laugh when I saw her crying. I'm tired of everyone always whining and complaining, can they stop being so sensitive and dramatic? It's so exhausting having to pretend I care because I don't want to come across as rude. I'm already always seen as some weird outcast, I don't need yet another reason for everyone to hate me.

I hate all of this, I wish I was normal. I hate being so lonely and bitter while everyone around me always seems so happy. I can't stand looking at them, it makes me sick, I don't want to ever leave my house again.