I was texting my FP (who’s been ignoring me a lot lately) and I told her how my bpd had been acting up lately, how I felt like she hates me, is annoyed by me, and ignores me a lot, and I also told her that because of that I would be talking a lot less to her (“I don’t want to bother you and I’m gonna try to distance myself so I won’t get hurt”).
Before, she would assure me that she didn’t hate me, I didn’t annoy her, or whatever, but this time she didn’t even say anything. She just ignored it. 
And I can’t stop thinking that this means she really does hate me and all those things. It feels like she doesn’t see it as worth it to keep talking to me. And I want to die.