I know borderline makes things feel so much more intense but this love isn't from that. This is real love and I don't have it close to me anymore.

I'm not saying I wish I would have changed myself completely for him. I just wish I would have given more than I took. I wish I would have been more willing to see things from his point of view. I wish  would have loved him the way I was supposed to and not been so caught up in myself. Right now I think I'd given literally anything to have him back. I don't care if it's tomorrow or if it's years from now. I just want him back in my arms. I'm trying so hard to get better for me, but at least a tiny piece of me wants to come out better so I can have him back. I am starting to be happy for me but I miss so much about being with him. I wish I had told him all the things I love about him before I left. All the things I still love about him. I'd follow him to the ends of the earth. I still love him so much. I want it all back. Even the rough days. I want it all back.