We just seem to have so much in common and everything just we met at a group that doesn't recommend making outside relationships with people in the group and it hurts. So even if it was completely mutual that could be problematic for her and I don't want to do that.  I'm also partially attracted to her but I'm transitioning genders and I think she's into dudes so even if that's mutual, down the line, me looking more and more womanlike will be problematic.  


As much as I wish the situation would change to make me happy, that's unlikely to happen without causing problems and I'm more here just to vent the hurt instead hoping it'll all be different.