I don't have a formal diagnosis but i've exhibited BPD-like tendencies for about 8 years, I'm 20 now. Some of my symptoms have definitely  subsided a little over the years as i've become more mature but dating is the one area in which I still don't feel like i've improved. I guess low self esteem, depression, anxiety, and a myriad of symptoms of BPD haven't helped. I'm pretty much incapable of trusting that a guy could commit to me. I've been seeing the same guy for a little over a year and I've never stayed faithful because I've had no confirmation that he wasn't seeing anyone else (he's much older and lives in a place full of beautiful women) so I've just convinced myself that he's not faithful so I shouldn't be. I just do it when I feel rejected or go through periods where I feel especially distrustful of him. I guess it softens the blow of me convincing myself he's gonna leave me eventually. Any help? This is such a dumb rant, I just hate this pain.