It felt so good to write it. It's like the official beginning of the end of my life. It's not a huge document. Just some things I wanted to share with those close to me in the past. What songs I want played where I want my ashes scattered.

I guess it's like setting a countdown timer. I've got a week or two left. That makes me feel relieved. It's almost over. I mean of course of I have doubts but this is the most committed I've ever felt to going through with it. I need to start working on getting the drugs. Last thing I want to do is botch this shit.


Of course there is this little part of me that has doubts. I see my therapist in two days. Maybe she will put it all together and save me. But I doubt it.

