im scared to talk to my friends. i dont trust them. i had a intervention tonight that only made things worse because im stupid. they are upset with me and i cant change they want me to but its clear they know ive failed them. my therapist will be disappointed. i think im a manipulator and i feel like a fucking monster. i dont mean to project trauma but i dont trust anyone. i dont wanna experience these feelings anymore. i dont know what to do.