19F
all my life, all i’ve ever wanted is romantic love. and i know i’m taking my platonic love for granted but fuck me, my family didn’t love me growing up and i’ve had the worst friends until recently; and even now, i’m so uncertain of these friends. 

i know that romantic love is not all there is to life and i know that i’m only 19 but fucking hell, i’ve never been in a relationship. i don’t get called attractive. i don’t get hit on. i don’t get asked out. i see everyone around me getting the things u long for and slowly, i’m starting to hate myself. 

i keep fixating on killing myself. i try to find new ways to stay alive, to try and motivate myself to get out of bed but i slowly losing sight of myself. i just want to die. 

i don’t know what to do.