After restructuring my life, I've become quite good at doing work in a vacuum (work that only impacts me and only I will see). However the moment anything I do can be linked to or percieved by another person, especially if it's something they're depending on, my tendancy to be avoidant resurfaces massively.

It's really bizarre, because I will feel strong guilt/shame for working on something which only benefits everyone involved. If I self-sabotage and avoid responsibilities relating to other people, the guilt/shame goes away. Totally backwards, and I can't for the life of me, rationalize myself out of it.