In the past few months I met a new girl through a friend and quickly developed a really huge crush on her after talking for only a week. It's only gotten bigger and bigger and she's become my full-blown FP, everyday I think about her, my whole happiness rests on whether or not I talk to her, if I get one message from her I feel on top of the world, if I get ignored (intentionally or not) I spiral into self hate and contemplate suicide or at least cutting off everyone in my life and running away. But despite feeling this way about her, constantly fantasizing about her romantically, etc, I'm terrified about the idea of actually dating her. Already when we're just platonic friends, I get so jealous whenever I think she might be interested in someone else that I actually start shaking. I'm afraid that if I ever date her, I'll just get worse. I'm not even particularly worried I'll lash out at her, because I'm good at controlling that I think. I'm just terrified that being with someone I like so much would make me completely miserable due to the sheer amount of jealousy and fear of abandonment I'd deal with daily. Has anyone else here had this fear before? It's new to me, even though I've had these symptoms for years, normally I just impulsively enter my relationships without thinking about how they'll make me feel.