My life at the moment feels so heavy and slow. I feel useless, stupid, empty and the majority of thoughts on my mind are basically suicidal. I can’t really seem to find any reason to keep making an effort to live because I find life so boring and shallow. Everything is so draining and no matter what I do, I can’t find joy in anything or anyone. I don’t really have a social life, I’m mostly alone and I don’t even know how to socialize. It comes off so easy for everyone else but when I try it’s like I’ve never talked to a human being in my life. Im a computer science student at the end of my bachelors and I can’t seem to feel happy about it. I don’t know which direction to take in life and I definitely don’t feel like I’m able to be competent in my own field. All my life I’ve been praised as intelligent and a nerd but in reality im useless. I can barely do something to better my life, let alone contribute anything to society. I can’t take this weight and my mental health is hanging by a thread. I really don’t know what to do and I just wish my life would just end so I don’t have to keep trying.