Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s amazing when two people love each other enough to get married. But it’s just really hard for me to stay happy. It just reminds me of what I’ll never have. All I wanted was someone to love and to be loved by but I look ugly, I have the personality of a bread stick, and I have what I think might be social anxiety. I don’t think I really ever really deserved it. Everyone else around me has done something extraordinary that makes pretty much everyone else deem them worthy of love. They do attractive things and look attractive. I’ve never done something good enough to deserve love. I don’t look the part and I’m not smart enough to fit the part of some kind girl’s boyfriend. That’s all I wanted. Especially after most of my previous relationships. One of them was abusive, one was overly dramatic and got herself into lots of arguments on purpose with everyone around her, and one just stopped caring. After what happened last time,after some reflection I think I’m aromantic. I’m just not interested in dating, but I guess I’m just depressed over what should’ve been and that I’ll probably die alone