I can’t seem but just get pissed off and annoyed when I’m out with people and I’m supposed to be happy. We will make plans and get a hotel room and make huge weekend plans to do stuff together but in the moment I’m just mad? Like I just want to be anywhere else. 
When I look back though like in pictures, I love the memories and cherish them, despite the horrid time I had. 

Any event in my life that I’m expected to happy at, I am the exact opposite. My loved ones and close friends have gotten used to it and they continue to have a good time and don’t let me affect them. But I still want to know if there’s anything I can do to change or is this just part of it?

I’m so thankful my loved ones put up with me and understand how troubling this disorder can be. 