Since being diagnosed, the one thing that scares me is that I will always want to die. The emotional burden of always having mood swings takes more and more of my energy each time I get into a depressive episode. I’m tired of trying to find my happiness in potential partners. I just wanna have a normal day with normal emotions. I no longer wanna be triggered by such small nonexistent issues. I’m so tired of it all. I want to have normal friendships and normal romantic relationships.