hello, I’m asking for guidance and insight. Me (23, ptsd &amp; depression) and my close cousin (21, bpd &amp; depression) havent spoken in two weeks and im having a hard time navigating. 

Me and my cousin were building a really healthy relationship with each other (which either really have) over the past year. We live in two different states but always made it a point to check in at least once a week and talk about what we are going through. But in the last two months i have been having a really hard time with my job, relationships, money and mental health. We hadnt talked on ft in while but understanding her bpd and how important this relationship is I mentally told myself to at least text her and check in. I told her i wasnt doing too well and regardless the few times she texted me i responded immediately. That was all i could do at the time. 

At this point, we both feel as though we arent validated. We both are trying to honor our feelings. On my end, i feel gaslighted and this constant feeling keeps arising that tells me that my feelings dont feel as important. At one point she said im one of her healthiest relationships and now she is saying that she doesnt know if we can continue. 

How do i respect and validate her feelings but express my feelings? 

i feel like im being punished. She hasnt been the nicest and says im being defensive when i truly feel like ive been kind, expressed myself in a direct way and considered her feelings in the process. 

Any insight would be helpful, i dont want to reaffirm my feelings by talking to ppl who dont have bpd or are aware of it. I want to understand because this is not a relationship that im willing to let go.