On my first wave of "self-growth" I was strong enough to realize that I needed help, but too stubborn to apparoach it with an open mind/heart. In college, I took some time to try and figure out what was wrong with me. I was so worried that I was a sociopath (sometimes I still am). When I first started looking, I was once diagnosed with BPD, and wasn't sure how I felt. I saw two more after until someone told me I had PTSD, and that was a thing I was willing to live with. Sometimes I worry what would have happened if I would have stuck out the BPS therapy, other-times I'm convinced it's just PTSD. It was so long ago that sometimes I think back on the conversations and wonder if I tried to manipulate the results. 

Regardless of answer, I know that my therapist taught me a lot about myself, and I wouldn't have traded her for anyone in the world. 

&amp;#x200B;

Either way. I'm glad I found this group.