a family friend just committed suicide this morning by jumping off from the 11th floor.  

I feel so rotten because nobody(myself included) knew that he was suffering from depression as early as the 1980s. His belongings were what revealed his battle with depression.  

He was ALWAYS the more cheerful person in the room....   when I was young, around 35 years ago, my memories of him were his smiles and laughter.   

Sorry if I'm not making any sense.  I feel like I'm in a daze and confused, sad, angry and bewildered all at the same time.   :(

I have never had any friends or relatives who ended his/her own life and I'm really sad.