holy fucking shit I feel like I have no fucking aim in my life I just wake up and have to exist and then go back to sleep and I want to have something to live for so so bad but the future is so distant and unreal and the present is just so fucking pointless all I do is waste air and space and money and time and I don’t feel alright doing that any longer I want to be and feel different so bad but I just can’t figure out how to do it