i [f23] have been with my fiance [27m] for almost 6 years, we also have a baby together. He was dignosed with BPD and ADHD in the summer, which wasnt surprising at all. The doctor was incredibly surprised that he was in a long term relationship with a child. I dont mean to offend anyone, but im sure you all know the self destructive tendencies BPD can do with a person. I have been semi calm, gracious, patient or whatever else I can be for years. I put my foot down after we had my daughter with his outbursts, hes entitled to his feelings. But he needs to work that out alone (by alone I mean he can't just explode in front of me and our daughter). Not even sure if that's BPD or just asshole traits he's got from his dad. I can give you guys a laundry list of problems and back story but its really pointless and im tired lol. Normally we are decently good with money, but some issues came up that put us in a tight spot. I decided to quit smoking, which is the biggest bone he has to pick when it comes to me (fair). I told him he needs to go stay with his parents for a week, I simply just can't have him here while I'm dealing with a lot of emotions. He is taking a crazy large stance against it, he feels personally offended. I tried and tried explaining how he won't be able to handle me essentially wanting to rip his head off. How he wouldn't be able to keep peace for a little bit. I used the example of how Normally I'd be a flame of a match, but id probably be a full on bonfire for a few days, and he's gasoline. I just can't get him to understand the whys and how's. I want this to stick, he wants this to stick, but can't emotionally wrap his head around the fact he's not good to be around in these situations. How do I help him understand? What do I do? I want peace in my house, this is why I need him to leave for a bit.