I struggle with depression. I guess it’s because I struggle with it for a long time, but I gaslight myself that I’m overreacting, that I am just… living like a ghost, or as my therapist said it, passively suicidal. But recently I am thinking of my past trauma, and I can’t help but wonder, maybe I am overreacting or rewrite it with worst memory than it actually was. Like I feel worthless because my parents had too much expectation of me &amp; constantly showered me with toxic positivity (&amp; emotionally invalidate me when I feel burnt out or anxious) when I was still studying. Then again… I love them, and they’d always support me if I need anything, so do I even earn the right to call it trauma? There’s also trauma with my ex-friend who harassed me. I keep thinking, maybe I was overreacting. Maybe the memory is not worst as I remember it? 

Maybe my past memories wasn’t so bad, and I’m the problem. I did this to myself. Or was I being gaslighted, or did I gaslight myself? That’s what I constantly think? Does anyone else struggle with these thoughts,