I’m never gonna find anyone. I’ve went my whole life without even a kiss. It sucks. You see all these guys abusing girls and  treating them like trash. Guys will get in relationships and won’t even be committed. It sucks because if I was to ever get in a relationship I wouldn’t be abusive I would worship her. I wouldn’t treat her with so much respect. I’ve always wanted a relationship. But past Traumas including sexual abuse by my sister prevents me from even talking to girls. I never went to a therapist but I told my friends about my sister sexually abusing me when I was 6. They recommended me see someone about it. It makes me feel dirty and like a piece of shit. It’s not that I can’t trust girls it’s that my body simply freaks out when a girl is in front of me. I wish I could talk to girls but I never will be able to.