Everyone has a different “rock bottom” but I think I’m close enough to just stop. Everything has to stop and change now. I don’t have many options. I can’t afford treatment even with low income sliding scale and I can’t lose my job. I woke up this morning officially alone. I vented to my best friend, no reply, and I’m sure it’s too much for her. Everyone eventually gives up on you. I am alone. And I’ll crawl out of this hole alone or not at all. No more alcohol and abusing pills. No more parties. No more 2am meltdowns. No more anything. I’m done with it. So today I’ll be alone, I’ll clean my home, I’ll change the oil in my car, I’ll be a single mom and I’ll do it everyday. Alone. That was always my fate.