I feel like it’s impossible for me to make friends in real life and I’m scared I never will.  Being depressed has put me back a lot in my life including dropping out of highschool and not having my license and I only got my first job at 19 that’s I couldn’t even keep and now I’m 20 and I’m only a bit into my new job and I feel miserable because I just can’t connect with any co workers. They all laugh and get a long but I’m just kinda there. Some made a bit of effort to have a conversation with me but it’s so difficult because it’s like we’re completely different in terms of goals and mindset despite being the same age, like when they ask me about school I just make it vague as possible so they don’t know I dropped out. It’s even more embarrassing when they ask me what I like to do or hobbies and I can’t even say anything or I’ll just say oh I guess I just sleep a lot and it’s like I can feel the pity from them. I just don’t know. They all seem so happy and upbeat and have goals and friends outside of work and accomplishments and I have fucking nothing. No one to hang out with and just a list of my failures. They just think I’m boring and weird now. It’s not like I don’t have interests it’s just that I haven’t engaged or acted on them as I’ve been so depressed all I can do is go on my phone to distract myself with something funny or amusing and sleep. I wish I could have a more solitary job so I don’t have to be reminded of how I am.