I usually take .5mg of Clonazepam every night and morning. I’ve been doing that for almost two weeks. The other night though, I took 1mg because I was feeling extra anxious due to my body still adjusting to Escitalopram and admittedly, I ate lots of unhealthy food that day which triggered my anxiety. So, the next morning, I didn’t take benzos because I’m only allowed to take 1mg within a day. Things were fine until afternoon after I worked out, then I started having panic attacks because of my health anxiety. I had a stabbing headache which I thought was caused by a stroke or some brain hemorrhage or tumor. I was damn ready to head to the hospital. But I was able to keep it together until it was time to take benzos again at night. My anxiety was so bad, I took 1mg again, that was last night and take note, that 1mg didn’t take all my anxiety away. I fell asleep still anxious but not as bad.  Then, this morning, I wasn’t supposed to take one, but I did take .5mg because I was still feeling anxious. An hour later, I started to feel normal again.

I’m scared that this will be my life forever, relying on meds to feel normal. And without meds, the anxiety and panic attacks are so bad, I’d rather choose death. This just sucks and depressing. :(