Hi everyone. Don't really know where to post this but y'all are nice and I like you.

I have bipolar disorder NOS (my psychiatrist doesn't quite know if it's cyclothymia or BD type 2; some episodes last for 2 days and some for 4 months, I'm just fucked up really); generalized anxiety disorder; substance use disorder and (possibly) Asperger.

I'm quite stable thanks to Abilify 5mg and Lamotrigine 250mg but all of those conditions are ruining my life in terms of anxiety.

I can't go out without taking Ativan or Etizolam. We tried everything for my anxiety, pregabalin; multiple antipsychotics; propranolol... I can't even remember everything we tried to help with that; my psychiatrist told me he didn't know what try next. Breathing deeply for 3 minutes kinda helps, but only for 15 minutes or so.

Only benzos work. I'm afraid of benzodiazepine-induced Alzheimer and other memory impairments but I just can't function without them. I've been on Ativan for 4-5 years, on and off to avoid tolerance. Currently taking 2mg 3 times a day, and actively trying to reduce.

Anyone here taking benzodiazepines long-term? Or anything that worked for your anxiety really?

I'm so fucking tired of those conditions.

Any kind of help or testimonial for anxiety is welcome.