Like i genuinely can’t remember a time when i haven’t worried about every single little thing. I know the things that i’m worried about are dumb and literally no one else around me thinks of these things, or just thinks about me in general. But i cannot stop it, and i’m scared to ask my psychiatrist to up my meds because i feel like he’s gonna think i’m faking? idk why because every other time i’ve got the courage to tell him something he just listened but idk. Sometimes the panic attacks are so bad i puke and it’s very annoying because i hate throwing up. but i’m just anxious all the time over absolutely nothing just a constant state of anxiety. Some irrational anxiety fears of mine are; people following me in public whenever i hear any little noise, restaurants poisoning my food, smelling bad constantly, thinking that everytime someone around me laughs they’re laughing at me, completely convinced that when i put on perfume people are judging me for wearing it, thinking people are watching me through my window at night, scared to eat infront of people incase they’re like “of course the fat bitch is eating” yk?, in school i’m constantly scared people are looking at my phone and judging me for whatever i’m doing, i always think i got on the wrong bus even though i get on the same one everyday and it’s always fine, scared people are making fun of my weight, scared to talk much because i don’t want people to think i’m annoying,  scared people are gonna judge me because i wore the same shirt twice in a month and that’s just to name a few things i think about daily. i dont know just thinking abt what it would be like to have a more “normal” thought process.