I just want to know if anyone else has this happen to them, I assume yes since apparently this is one of the main "symptoms" but I would love to get some real people stories and perspectives and not just what I read in articles online.

Little background story about me, I am 29, residing in the US, female. I have been depressed for most of my life and anxious too. I have been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, OCD, PTSD and Borderline. I kind of suspected I had BPD long before I got officially diagnosed. One day I tried to google one of my "symptoms" and it pointed me to BPD, I don't remember exactly what I googled but it was something like, "partner is my everything when we are good but I hate them when we are bad". Basically, whenever I am on good terms with my partner and they treat me well and are thoughtful and nice, I think to myself that they are the best thing that's ever happened to me and I feel unworthy of them, and feel so lucky, and don't ever want them to leave me, and they are just the best and I love them so. But when we are bad, we argued or they upset or did something or said something that hurt me, it's the total opposite and I'm like, hmm maybe they aren't as good as I thought, maybe I don't need them, maybe they aren't worthy of me, they suck, I don't want this anymore, etc. 

I cannot find that balance....I see it all in black and white, no gray or in-between. 

Can anyone relate? I HATE IT