Okay, I know this is a potentially controversial post; please know that I've been crippled by this disorder for as long as I can remember (I'm 38 now) and, while I completely agree that it's exhausting and like a slow torture most days that has ruined many, many things for me, I'm also accepting that it's a part of who I am and, because of it, I have some characteristics that others don't that I actually like. I'm not saying BPD is anything I would wish on someone else, but, after years of absolutely loathing it and myself for having it, I'm working on looking at it objectively and accepting who it has made me as a person - good and bad. I thought flipping the script and highlighting the positives instead of berating myself for the negatives was a good place to start. 

For example, because I've had so many deep obsessions that I dive into wholeheartedly (and then abandon of course), I have a massive breadth of knowledge about many things, which makes me able to relate to a lot of people conversationally. 

Also, because I feel so emotion *so goddamn intensely*, I feel like I'm able to understand a lot of works of art to the extent that the artist intended them. It feels like I'm picking up a different emotional frequency. Similarly, I can tell when someone is even slightly 'off' because I'm so trauma-attuned to the emotions of people around me. I'm not an "empath", but I can pick up on others' subconscious signals before other people can... and sometimes before they can. Not only has this kept me safe from toxic people as an adult, but it's also helped me connect with people I love when they are hurting but don't necessarily know how to open up about it. 

Because I'm prone to ruminations and my brain never blocked out anything, I have a staggering memory when it comes to my upbringing, and people from my past have checked in with me about specifics and facts because details are all still locked in. 

Do you have anything that this wretched, godawful disease has given you that you don't hate?