I think I'm finally getting closer to figure out what exactly is contributing to my mood swings etc 
I never would've thought that I had OCD let alone BPD ( Borderline Personality Disorder ). This has been such a long journey. It only makes sense why all my symptoms would be so much more noticeable in a relationship vs being single. 

I've been going to counseling for over a year now.
I have my first OCD specialist appointment over the phone tomorrow. I'm so excited to finally get proper help!! I've also contacted my doctor to see if I can get a referral to a psychologist/psychiatrist for a BPD diagnosis. When I'm in a clear headspace like now everything makes sense but when I'm in a negative headspace reality ceases to exist it seems. 

I'll keep you all update. There's hope , I assure you.
No matter what happens I know I'll be ok. Whether that be if I stay or leave my partner. All that matters is that I get help so I can life my life to fullest ❣️

I'd also like to hear some thoughts from others. Is this something you've discovered for yourself? Do you have any comorbid disorders with your BPD?