Everything in my life is going really pretty well. Just got married to my SO of 7 years a couple weeks ago; we are expecting our first child in December. Recently started a new job which pays fairly well, work-from-home, good benefits. Nothing major/terrible has really happened in quite a while. I have some serious unresolved grief/pain from multiple friends ending their own lives, but that's nothing new and has been 5 years or so since the last incident with that. All that said, this past month or two I've just been feeling so damn miserable/hopeless/lonely. I'm not going to try anything crazy, I couldn't and wouldn't do that to my wife/family, or our son who will soon be here. But all I've been able to think about is how tired I am, exhausted, fantasize about overdosing on pills, etc. I'm 30 years old and don't think I've had a depressive episode this bad since my best friend hung himself 7-8 years ago. And I really don't know why. I am planning on trying to go to a psychiatrist and/or therapist eventually once my health insurance comes through and I have any money (finances have been extremely rough lately). Don't know what I am expecting posting here but I just need some help. Thanks everyone.