I'm really struggling— I am having a lot of anxiety.... I am currently quarantining in my parents house and I have a bout 2 more days until my quarantine will end and I am so scared for the end of it because I don't think I have a COVID safe place to be. When I am not in quarantine, I don't trust my family's activities and habits during COVID, and I have an apartment but I am in quarantine because my roommate got a really serious bout of COVID. I am scared that neither the apartment nor my parents house are safe. 

Simultaneously I am hoping that I can plan and safe such that I can be independent from my parents next year because they cause me so much anxiety and they constantly invalidate me. I have a job near my apartment though which I love but I am afraid that my apartment is not COVID safe due to my roommate's activities. But I also hate confrontation and I don't think I am strong enough to confront her and she has to go to work at Starbucks to support herself. 

I am having so much anxiety and kinda breaking down, also thinking about how much anxiety and invalidation comes with being with my parents. Before my quarantine I had not seen my parents in  3.5 months and Ive been spending less and less time with them over the past few years to work on finding myself cos I cannot be myself when I am around them, except they punish me for making adult decisions and I am so scared when I tell them I am going back to keep up this job that I really love that they are going to be so mad at me because they always are furious at me when I make adult decisions and make moves to go out on my own in the world. But I really very much want to be on my own now and we are currently in family therapy but my family just doesn't understand what I go through on a daily basis with anxiety—When I try to tell them they don't understand they think it is just like a regular person's nervousness so then as of late I don't open up to them as much and then they get mad at me for not opening up. What did I do to deserve all their criticism and negativity and also why am I so scared for things that are going to happen in the future- ie their reaction to what I might say. I don't know if I love them I say it all the time because that is what they want to hear- but I am not myself around them I am invalidating myself by being around them. On top of that I really want to take this job but I'm scared to go back to my apartment, and am looking for a temporary place to stay but I don't have that much to spend on a place and it seems silly to pay for a place when I already have a lease but my roommate's covid attitude just does not make me feel safe. 

Why can't everyone just cooperate and work together and follow covid protocol it would alleviate so much pressure that I am currently experiencing on top of my normal everyday elevated anxiety.