Idk if anyone else has experienced this but my last two exes both used to say as little about themselves as possible. Instead they would listen to me and my problems and encourage me to vent. I get triggered to do this when I'm nervous so I was kinda getting trauma bonded to them I guess. Because afterwards I'd often be left feeling overexposed &amp; panicky and like I'd overshared. 

Both sometimes react with anger or withdrawing if I tried to take the relationships or conversations in another direction (ie trying to make them the focus). One of them ended up raping me multiple times. 

Now that the last relationship is over I've found that I no longer want to share with friends, it feels like he needed to be seen as this great guy and a part of the was that he was enduring me and 'being there for me' and when I tried to improve the relationship (by discussing our issues and not just venting about other problems in my life) he became angry. 

He didn't assault me like the other guy but he fed a dynamic that meant all I was 'allowed' to be was this I'll person. My confidence took a nosedive and I forgot other aspects of myself because this sometimes felt like a condition of getting his attention. 

I've realised this was a form of control and now that its over all I want is to hear about people's day and their thoughts and generally not have to share too much about myself and it feels like a relief. 

I don't feel like he was doing it on purpose and I did things that could probably be classed as abusive to but I guess I just wanted to know if anyone else had experienced this or had thought about it.