I’ve had this issue all of my life. 

I seem to have a lack of genuine empathy for others unless they unconditionally love me despite my poor choices. I get stressed only, and only when the other person shows any signs of betrayal. Other than that, I don’t care about how my actions affect others unless it directly affects my reputation. 

What sparked this thought was a recent breakup. My ex gf told me I didn’t know what love was and that I didn’t actually see her as her. I didn’t know what she meant by that. 

I seem to have self esteem issues. Clearly. What I don’t understand is what to do about this. 

I’ve lost many good relationships with others because of this exact issue. I’ve apologized, and while it being a lie, repeated my apologies in the same manner. I wanted to mean it. 

I don’t exactly like seeing others in pain. Sometimes I feel good helping, but I can’t help noticing the obvious pattern here. I’m 16. I don’t want to deal with this my entire life. I’ve talked to my therapist about it all and I’ve gotten no answers. 

Is this abnormal as I think it is, and if so, how do I fix things? This has been a major inconvenience.