I just wanted to say this page has helped me a lot with coming to grips of my illness and how it manifests in my day to day life. I never realized how much pressure I was putting on my friends, until I read on here about idealizing certain people. 

My best friend and I recently ended our 4 year long friendship, due her believing it was toxic. When I heard this I flew off the deep-end, I was in the hospital all day, wanting to die because I felt unwanted; I just hated her so much after. However as much as I want to push all the blame on to her, I realized that I wasn’t the victim in this situation. After 2 weeks of not talking to someone who was my favourite person, I realized how much pressure I was putting on her to make me happy. I was overwhelming her with messages, talking about myself and asking all the time if everything was okay between us. Before I never saw her side and now I see how exhausting I must have been. 

I really miss her so damn much, and as much as I want to text and call her to make up, I think she deserves better than what I can give her now. She deserves to be happy and carefree, and I have to focus on getting a hold of my illness. 

Anyway, I’m not sure if others have gone through this, but after losing someone so special to me, its pushed me to try and get better, not only for my relationships but also for myself. Anyone want to share their thoughts or experiences?