My 9 year old is an amazing kids who does a lot of things really well. Plays the piano beautifully, excels at sports and academics, and has good friends.

However, since she was a baby, she never slept. We’ve got nights where she’s gotten 2-3 hours of sleep because she is panicked and scared over nothing she can pinpoint. She ranges from saying she feels nervous to feeling like she’s in trouble. 

We have tried the obvious. Calming, gentle routines, consistent bedtimes, no screens before bed, everything that’s considered a first direct line of approach. 

When we realized how badly we were succeeding at helping her sleep, we went to the next step of having a sleep study done. Nothing turned up abnormal. 

We then went to a counselor who helped somewhat, but wasn’t really getting to the root of the problem because our daughter couldn’t pinpoint what was keeping her up at night.  While we liked her, she resigned from her position and we saw her successor. It was again helpful for our daughter to talk to someone, but we were never able to get to the root of the sleep problems. She still sees her, and they spend the time playing games and chatting. 

We are confident she’s never been abused by a caretaker, and she hasn’t had any major changes in life. By all accounts, she leads a pretty desirable life. She knows this too, but once she’s in bed, she’s panicked. 

We were advised by her family physician to put her on melatonin, but the moment she’s off it, she is unable to sleep. 

We were referred to a psychiatrist who immediately diagnosed her with general anxiety disorder and placed her on hydroxzine, a mild medicine that is also prescribed for children with skin allergies. The idea is to make her sleepy so she can rest. She said she thinks melatonin can affect hormone development. 

I am very conflicted about this, but my heads tells me we’ve tried everything for upwards of seven years. I’m just at a loss and don’t know what to do anymore. I never thought I’d put a 9 year old on meds to sleep, but I also never thought I’d have a 9 year old with sleep problems so severe she’d be able to go days without sleeping. Any insight would be helpful.