My pre-diagnosis, layperson understanding of BPD is that, in the large number of cases, the child was not getting his needs met (emotional regulation by a stable and consistent parent), but also that no-win scenarios contributed to the dysfunction. I know that I get impatient and irritable (with a long emotional tail) when I face a scenario that's almost designed for me to fail at. I also recall the heads-you-lose, tails-I-win behavior my uBPD mother would engage in, probably because that's what was done to her. 

Is this something that's common or am I reading into things?