So I've been on Effexor for about 4 months and idk why but I just couldn't get up the motivation to refill my prescription so I've run out and currently been off them for 4 days and I'm withdrawing hard

I'm having super bad hallucinations, my emotions are everywhere, and I want to hurt myself in everyway possible. Every little thing is the end of the world and I feel like I'm spiraling. I want to kill myself to make everything stop.

I'm also autistic and all of this is causing really really bad sensory overload so I'm full on melting down simultaneously as well and everything feels so much and I want to peel off my skin because it's too much.

The things that have set me off are:
- I haven't done my homework and now I'm too upset to do it so that's making me more upset which is in turn making it more impossible to do it... You see the cycle
- I was late to work because I couldn't find my keys and it took me 30 minutes to find them and then 20 minutes to finish calming down from the panic attack it caused 
- I had intended to leave work early because I wanted to go to a super bowl party I was invited to but by the time I was able to leave I missed half time which I was bummed about and when I told my friend I was bummed she made me feel worse and I spiraled so bad that I started sobbing on my floor and now I look too ugly to go to the rest of the part and I was rly looking forward to this party
-also I had a really strong Mandela effect earlier which made me think the world isn't real which is making me upset and want to kill myself even more to end the simulation

I'm currently drinking and burning myself using the sink to try and make everything stop. I don't want to cut because I don't want people to know I'm a fuck up but also I rly rly rly rly rly wanna cut so fucking bad