Im writing this at 5 AM as I cry here hopelessly in my bed. 

My boyfriend of 8 months just broke up with me over text. We were in a long distance relationship. I was afraid to love him in the beginning; afriad to be vulnerable but he broke through that barrier and I loved harder than I thought I ever could. He was my first serious relationship. 

I went and visited him last week and he made me feel okay about the distance. I gave him everything. I gave him all my love. I cared so much about him. I treated him so well. What did I do to deserve this? 

All I want to do it bury myself in darkness and let the pain consume me. I don't know what I did wrong. He just wasn't ready to commit to a serious relationship; Hes always been a coward. I hope he realizes what he's lost. I wish I could make him feel the pain that I'm feeling right now. I wonder if he feels anything.  

I feel like I'm being suffocated by the pain. I have the urge to drown my sorrow in pills and anything to separate me from reality. I don't know what to do or how to handle this. 

Sorry if this is a really jumbled post. I'm so distraught right now I don't even know what to think but I needed to vent. 