He says he has to fight too much for the relationship and that it's not worth it beause i start too many arguments and struggle to believe that he loves me sometimes. Had a long talk about it and came to the conclusion that we could both try harder, but everything fell to pieces when he found out I relapsed on cutting.

Apparently it's too much because I always blame my relapses on him (which I have never done)...
He yet again said I could try harder but if I ever relapsed again he would leave me immediately, I understand where he's coming from but at the same time it makes me feel somewhat unsafe and paranoid. I desperately want to get better but I don't think I can with that threat looming overhead...

My heart's kinda crushed right now, I've been trying harder than ever to keep this relationship going, I wish I was good enough for him - for anyone. I want so badly for things to go back to how they were but everything feels so off and dull that I can't see that ever happening.

I just want to be loved unconditionally.

Apologies for the vent.