Hello, guys I'm 29 (M). And for about the last few years I've basically stopped living for myself. I've no desire to do anything, no ambition to pursue, nothing interests me. I live like a machine for my mother (60+) and sister (27), and do everything as if on autopilot. I've no friends for a long time, no one to talk to, not even any desire to get in a relationship or something. 

I'm gay, BTW and live in a homophobic society so no chance of coming out either. Only my sister knows. It's as if once my mother dies and my sister gets settled the purpose of my life basically comes to an end. 

Steps that I've taken... tried finding a hobby. Anything I pick up doing, I get bored after a while and stop doing that. And back to square one- spending time reading novels or watching Netflix or sometimes playing a game or something. 

I also tried talking to my sister. She claims I don't try enough. Maybe true, but I can't just make her understand when you've basically lost interest in everything, in life, it doesn't matter much to try. 

Also, she never got the no friend part either. I mean exactly how that feels having no friends and feeling isolated, since she's kind of a social butterfly and I just avoid her and her friends. Not that I dislike them, but I don't usually get along with people so well. Never did much either. 

People say your life's not your own kinda crap, and thus here I am living like a piece of shit with nothing to do just not to break the heart of these two people dear to me. But it's becoming too heavy a burden to continue living with nothing to pursue.