it’s so tiring for me. every day living with bpd is a struggle. i wake up, feeling the worst anxiety and nausea, and it slowly gets better throughout the day- but it’s so hard. it’s impossible to eat, or move, or enjoy anything. the nausea comes with a panicky feeling, like a tension in my chest. i feel so on edge all the time, i can’t handle being alone. it’s like the second i’m alone, i’m trapped with my thoughts, which are so scary. i will literally be arguing with myself back and forth in my head for hours when i get left alone. arguing with my intrusive thoughts, arguing with my urges, arguing with my own existence. i want to kill myself, i want these voices in my head to stop. i guess this is just a vent because i don’t know what i’m doing anymore. i don’t want to exist anymore.