I’ve just been a ball of emotions lately. I’m 27 and I work from home so I don’t go out much. I’ve had many friends in the past, I actually used to party a lot in the ages of 17-24 but I’ve learned to enjoy being alone. I live alone too and people think being alone is harmful but I honestly find myself at peace while being alone. I do communicate with friends over text and I spend time with them here and there and I enjoy that too. But lately I’ve been struggling with being in constant conflict with myself. One thing that does interfere with me and having friends is that I’ve been a people pleaser for many years or I’m “too nice” and people start to take advantage or they think that I’m weird. I mean i try to be nice because I think that it’s the right thing to do. I firmly believe in treating people the way you want to be treated. So I’ve hated myself for being a people pleaser for many years and now that I’m isolating and finally putting myself first I find myself in conflict with my identity, as in like who I am and what are my morals and my purpose. Because of my anxiety and putting people first I ended up loosing myself and now that I’m working on myself I find it so difficult to just be at ease. It feels like I legitimately have a devil and an angel on my shoulders. I have an issue with perfectionism as well so I’m always really hard on myself about literally everything. I try to have compassion for myself now more than ever and I keep myself positive by reading, journaling, listening to motivational speeches and I get excited and then negative thoughts come and just take over. By the end of the day I’m exhausted and I wake up the next day to do it all over again and I just feel, stuck. I don’t know what to do to. I don’t know how to feel , I just want to relax and be at peace but it feels impossible.