Having a toxic mom is the death of me.  
  
So I just recovered from covid, my weight went up to 5kg because when I had covid I ate a lot, which is no big deal and I made a plan to lose it. Everything is going well, I eat a caloric deficit and I work out everyday, I have lost 2kg so far.  
Then my mum went to visit me today. And we fought. And I binged eat a lot. I just know I will go up to 1kg tomorrow.  
  
And I realize, I overeat as a form of self-sabotage. It’s like “I want to kill myself, but instead I just abandon my goal and become fat”. Fucking hate it. Anyone have the same coping mechanism?