So basically I'm getting the message from my bf that I'm taking things personally or almost like he's out to get me sometimes. I know I have issues with paranoia so I often double check my filters and thought processes. I am worried now that I might be missing something. 

And I'm upset about this stupid filter, I want to get rid of it. I've tried for years to look for patterns to get around it, but I have not solved it.

I mean it's hard to tell from an inside perspective, but I know about the broken mental filter from dealing with my mom. To this day I can't figure out how she managed to twist completely innocent things people said into some sinister plan to hurt her. I could literally see the gears turning when it was happening and when she was about to attack or when she filed the information away for later. She just had this look on her face when the mode switched on. I couldn't see any consistent correlations or pattern that could be reverse engineered to explain what was broken, or to enable myself to present information in a way that would not get distorted by the filter. 

The broken filter is really a deal breaker with a lot of people, I know from watching my mother. I am really scared that it was more present than I was aware and I don't know how to fix or subvert it!