I see this EXTREMELY commonly on Reddit, someone will describe their abusive relationship. There will often be at least a couple comments telling them to look into BPD, cause it “definitely sounds like BPD.”

BPD is a VERY stigmatized, very complicated disorder. There is NO way for you, through the Internet, to know if someone has it. And by armchair diagnosing every single abusive person you come across with it, you are adding to the stigma and pain people with BPD feel on a daily basis.

Having BPD, for me, has at times felt like a death sentence. It still does, occasionally. Because I feel like I am unlovable, like I will hurt anyone who comes into contact with me, and that I will never have a healthy happy relationship. My relationship right now is quite healthy, and I still can’t relax in it because I feel like no matter what I do I will fuck it up because I have that wretched Abusive Person Disorder. 

Please, stop with the armchair diagnosing. You hurt all of us, in recovery or simply those who suspect they may have it. 