Mainly because I don’t want to prolong my life. If I get sick, that’s it. I don’t feel like explaining that shit to people. Everyone always tells me I hide stuff but I just am so tired of always talking about how sad and fucked up I am. It’s such a pity party. I rather forgo treatments that will extend my quiet misery even further. It doesn’t make sense to take my own life, but it does make sense to not do anything that will cause my further discomfort. I just can’t remember ever feeling normal or okay. Yes yes I would be missed and loved but they would move on. Not trying to be dismissive but yeah I am just over life. Even though things aren’t terrible I just don’t care about “living long”. 

Anyone else ever feel this way?