This one is kind of odd, and I'm not sure it's really linked to my BPD, but whatever. I'm in school, so I get to be around a lot of different people every day, all week. But the thing is, it never gets past the "colleagues"/acquaintances stage from my end—unless I'm specifically attracted to the other person in an obsessional way. I've noticed that I subconsciously copy their behavior/attitude a lot, which also means that as soon as the interaction ends, they're out of my life. There *are* some people I am fond of and that I sometimes would like to have closer, but I feel like most of it is just loneliness rather than me looking for a genuine connection with them. The urge to get to know them more just never comes to me naturally.

TBH, I think it's better this way. Dealing with people and relationships gets very tiring for me and, again, unless I have a very specific interest in them (which, most of the time, ends up with them being my FP), I never particularly feel like I want to get closer to them. It's like I'm not wired to have friends anymore, like I don't understand social interactions and therefore do not want to have anything to do with them. But then again, I fare way better all alone, honestly. It gets very lonely some rare times but, otherwise, I mostly don't even think about it.