I've been pretty stable since Feb 2019 after getting pregnant, it was literally like a light switch. Struggled absolutely horrendously almost my whole life up until that point. Every bad thought, every urge to SH, every time I want to put myself in danger etc I don't do it because of my son. Great right? Well my problem is that, because I didn't/don't have a sense of identity, I think I turned my suffering, illness and sadness my identity? So now that's gone I just sort of feel half empty, only filled up by the love for my son. I think I'm romanticising it in hindsight tbh because I know at the time it was absolutely horrific to be feeling so rotten - but being sad and hurting myself was the only thing I was good at. Please tell me somebody else understands where I'm coming from? Don't get me wrong I'd 10000% rather be where I am today than where I was all those years, but this empty feeling is heavy and I feel like I'm nobody apart from a mum. No hobbies that stick, no interests that stick, don't know my clothing style, don't know what music I like etc etc god it's so exhausting