I have been on so many different ones. And they all have worse side affects than benefits. I used to self medicate with weed. But I recently stopped doing that due to chs. I’ve been eating a healthy diet/exercising and things are okay for rn.

It’s scary knowing that meds don’t work for me though. Anti depressants push me into mania ( which I heard is common)  and unfortunately mood stabilizers make me worse than depressed. I’m depressed but I can’t even express it. I just become zombiefied even on the smallest dose. 


It’s just frustrating. And I’m “stable” now without any help. But I know that’s only going to last so long. Sooner or later I’m going to go to one extreme or the other. And unfortunately for me it seems there’s no way to help me when I inevitably do. I just have to ride it out.