All of my relationships have basically ended in flames. I’ve never had a healthy relationship because I honestly don’t know what that entails,  and I never feel secure with my partner. I’m afraid that they’ll find someone better, realize I’m too overbearing, etc. Because of my insecurities, I freak out and split and eventually my partner decides they don’t want to deal with me anymore. 

Right now I’m in a weird situation where my current fp is my crush. I’ve known him for a few years and we’ve recently started getting intimate. He knows about my struggles with BPD and is a great source of support. Unfortunately, he has quickly become someone I idealize. 

As of right now, I haven’t spoken to him in a week, and it’s freaking me out. We hung out last Tuesday and after that it was radio silent from both ends. Of course, I’ve been so tempted to contact him, but I’m afraid that he’s moved on from me. I’m anxious and I don’t want to bother him, but I want nothing more than to contact him. 

I don’t know if it’s normal/healthy for people in “relationships” (we’re not anything official) to go so long without talking. If so, I guess I’m just overreacting as usual, but I’m not sure how to approach him about this. I don’t know if I should just wait and see if he texts me? It makes me feel nervous when we go so long without contact and I’m not saying that I need him to talk to me every minute, but occasional reassurance definitely helps ease my mind. Does anyone have any advice?