it's been a couple days since the break up and only getting worse. 6 months ago i met a girl on tinder, we instantly hit it off, or so i thought, she (18f) moved in with me (19m) first week, and we have been together literally every single day since besides 3. a few days ago i found out she was hanging out w her ex and texted some guys she's hooked up w before, while she was with me. she also lied about her a majority of her past before meeting me, playing the role of an alone vulnerable person who just needed someone to listen to them. in reality she was using me. my parents let her stay with us until we saved up for our own place. my parents helped us with food and rent occasionally and she doesn't have parents at all she was living with her friend, so i think she really took all of that for granted. after all was said and done we broke up and i moved back to my mothers house. i am just so baffled i don't think i will ever try to love again, this hurts too bad i genuinely thought we were in love. she tattooed my name on her genitals and would complete all of my peculiar fantasies in the bedroom no matter how out of this world they are. i have weird fantasies and many past relationships have judged me for this and after breaking up they have thrown it in my face and told my friends. this girl was different i thought, she never looked at me funny when i talked about what i was into, and when i talked about my traumas she listened and was an amazing shoulder to cry on. it hurts so bad knowing people can be so fake. idk why i'm posting this i guess it just hurts so bad i don't know what else to do, i deleted my snapchat to be with her to make her feel more secure and stopped talking to all but about 3 of my friends. i feel so dumb and betrayed, oh and the worst part is one of the guys she did stuff with behind my back was literally 13 years old, she is 18... idk how i am supposed to recover from this it all hurts so bad. i feel completely broken and haywire my brain isn't thinking right anymore i am in constant survival mode trying to block everything out. this is the worst pain i've ever felt. she was so good to my face but i obviously didn't mean anything to her... i have BPD and she does too. why do i love with my all, yet she can't love me at all? this is my breakdown rant so tomorrow morning i decided to check myself in to a emergency psychiatric center for an evaluation as i was lied to so bad i literally can't understand what's real anymore...