

I don't know what's wrong with me. I am a 20 year old female and an incoming second year college. Since elementary until grade nine I was always an honor student not until I reached grade 10 where I suddenly lost interest in everything. I lost motivation to continue my activities. I used to love learning and I always wanted to learn new lessons but I feel like I'm losing my interest in everything that I used to enjoy. I'm always absent from class, I'm always sad, I feel like I'm just locked in darkness. Sometimes crying for no reason. It's like I'm completely different and I can't understand what's going on. Well, I've been an introvert since childhood but somehow I met friends but now, I'm afraid of people. I would leave home and my family thought I would go to school without them knowing that I was not attending class. It makaes me feel so guilty. Because every time I'm at school I'm always anxious, even just waking up in the morning and thinking about going to school makes me so anxious. I feel like I'm suffocating. And now that I'm in college and taking online classes, it seems like it's hard for me to start my activities, I don't even think about doing anything, I'm too stressed. I'm not lazy to study but I feel something is wrong, I always say that I'll do it later, or tomorrow, until it's been a month, I still haven't started. I know there is something wrong with me and I think it is related to mental illness. I have tried to talk to my parents about this but I am only more afraid because they didn't understand. I really want to see a specialist but the treatment fee is expensive here in our country and I can't afford it. I want to go back to the way I used to be and be active again in everything because I know that if I don't solve this it will be a burden for me for the rest of my life. I'm sorry for the long post, I know it's a bit problematic what I'm saying but I don't have anything else to get rid of the problems that mess up my mind. I would also like to ask for advice. Sorry for my English mistakes, because it's not my mother tongue.😁