This is my main/art account, and I'll probably regret not using a throwaway later on, but it's fine. I'm tired.

I've had depression/anxiety/emetophobia/eating disorders sine I was a kid. I've been going to psychiatrists before I went to preschool. I've been on so many meds that it's actually affected my memory.

But to cut to the chase, I have two art degrees (narrative art, fine art) and have gotten nowhere with them. I think it was a bit of a mistake to not have a backup. I've been hoping to professionally get into comics with my own IP, but it's an exhausting and unforgiving job in itself, on top of desperately trying to market it as well. I've been wanting to give up on art for a year now, since it feels a little useless, as I don't enjoy it like I used it. Taking a break doesn't work, as I get anxiety over not drawing.

And then...my mom died in March. I'm not squeamish with death, but watching my mom gradually fall victim to cancer, and the months I (mostly alone) had to take care of her broke me. I've never felt so close to losing my mind than I had then. I'm really tired and I wake up every day thinking "alright, let's get this over with." I've also been having sleeping issues, and "alright, let's get this over with" is the last thing I think when I go to sleep.

Life is unkind.