I’m new here and in desperate need of help. 

I will start from the beginning. May of 2020, I (27F) and my fiancé (30M) welcomed our beautiful son into the world. He is the light of my life. He brings new meaning and purpose to our lives and we absolutely adore him. 

I chose to leave my job of 3 years for a remote job so that I can stay home and see my son more often. This was probably the biggest mistake of my entire career thus far. My remote job is tearing me down each and everyday. I work for a mortgage company and you wouldn’t believe the workload because of the rates dropping. I have extreme anxiety every single day and lately I have been struggling to do anything at work which is extremely difficult for me to cope with. I haven’t told my fiancé the extent of this because I know that I will just breakdown entirely. I can’t sleep because all I think about is what I didn’t do that I should’ve done at work today. 

I’m actively looking for a better job and applied to 10+ other places at this point BUT the kicker is that on top of my work anxiety, we are buying a house....and my current job that I am actively trying to quit is our lender. I do not want my decisions to ruin our plans of getting our house in a month if I’m no longer employed for the company. 

I honestly can’t even write this post in a meaningful way because it’s just so much stress and anxiety filling my brain with all of these negative thoughts every single day. 

I guess all I’m really asking for is some advice. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? How do you deal with anxiety at work? 

I can’t live like this and I don’t want to let my family down.