On a daily basis, I'll hear stories about housemates and how hilarious things can be. They talk about what their housemates have been up to and it just makes me feel so alienated. So alone. I am a 22-year-old female and currently undergoing my final year at university. I live alone, in a studio flat. It's nice, but I only moved into this accommodation out of desperation.. since I had no friends or people that wanted me to come and live with them, I had no real choice.

I am a loner. I did establish a friendship with someone - once - but the friendship that we had (as close as we were) has since been diminished.

During the peak of the pandemic, my friend added me into her house "bubble". She'd invite to her place every fortnight or so. We'd sit together for dinner, play Smash Brothers, watch movies, smoke weed.. It was lovely. I really felt like, for the first time in my life, that.. I had a family. I don't know. People just seemed to like me and wanted me around.

Then things went wrong. So wrong. I haven't visited her or the housemates since February 2021. I'm too afraid to look at any of them in the eye, let alone go to their house. Each day, the loneliness just gets worse.

I am on the brink of hanging myself. Have the equipment and plans ready. Now, I just need that extra push.. but I am too much of a pussy to do anything, yet. I have no reason to live. Nobody will find me for weeks, if at all.