Hi all,

I know I am not supposed to arm-chair diagnose myself. However, when I brought up to my GP that I believe I have HPD or NPD, she nodded. That’s nowhere near being a diagnosis, but it’s not *not* an indication that I may have these tendencies. I’m really struggling quite a bit with accepting these disgusting parts of myself that I’ve shown in my past through my actions. I’m feeling really horrible and alone, and irredeemable. I’m wondering if anyone else has gone through the same thing or something similar. I know this is really stupid and sappy of me to say, but my SO doesn’t want to hear about my dark feelings so I feel really limited in my expression of emotions. I just want to say that I’m tired of living with myself. I feel like I keep trying to change who I am, and every time I try I fail miserably and burn bridges or horribly embarrass myself. So that’s how I’m feeling. It is not my intention to make anyone feel horrible. I’m so sorry if I do. And if this post is too triggering I’ll gladly delete it. 

Thank you so much in advance to anyone who replies. 