I am not self diagnosing here just speculating, ive been way too confused after getting in a relationship and trying to find answers. After my boyfriend just literally blocked me and moved on without saying a single word it almost seems like its really the case.

So i met my bf at university, i had trouble getting into relationships it made me anxious possibly because of my sexual abuse trauma. i would basically ghost everyone who showed interest in me. But then i met my bf we became friends which was good. when he later confessed after a year of friendship it made me anxious but i tried to accept i said to myself..this is the friend you love it will be alright.

i couldnt really be intimate with him had a hard time and he didnt force it at all which was good. But then i became such a mess..he started working i became fixated on him, still showed him some love. but it was mostly me being a bitch to him..telling him that "i don't care" when he tried to share things about his work with me...this is just one example.

in short the work really got me worked up..i even told him that he loves his job more than me and hung up the phone on him.

a few days ago he blocked me and just disappeared i felt so overwhelmed but i am kinda over it now.

by no means i am diagnosing myself here. i just want to share my experience and maybe ill fimd some closure on why i was acting the way i did..