Hello,

I would like to ask you advice about my problem. 

My first anxiety episodes starts to begin more than 10 years ago. I remember I had to go school in some industrial place just off my city and there it starts the pain. My breath was missing and I've a constant fear of death.   
I talked with one of my teacher about that and she said: "Well, you have to come here, we can't do anything but mark you absent"   
In that moment, I feel like shit: probably no one will really care about what I was living. 

I moved to another school, while starting some kind of therapy based on meditation. I think that it partially worked, but my anxiety was there, waiting for me.

During one summer, the next year, I had a strong panic attack while going with my gf at the beach. Shortness of breath, fear of death. I do remember how I forced not to gulp because it could choke me (at least that was my thought there).

I had a breakup with my gf and then, some time ago, I tried to overcome my fear with my new one. I made some little shifts, but man I suffered. 

Talking with psychologist was a no go move. he continues asking me to "talk about what I want" or else. I feel like I wasn't receiving no help from him (and wasting parents' money too).

During these years I've literally blocked myself inside my city. There are some rare exceptions, where I go with medium to heavy Xanax dosage that literally make me sleep.   
However, I do want to have a family, grow child and else. I can't stand being so weak cause of my fears and I really need an advice.  


Thanks for all who've read and have a great day!