i've been struggling with mental issues since i started middle school (im graduating highschool this year) , i really need to see a therapist but there's something inside my head thats not letting me speak about what's wrong with me , no matter who i try to talk to , the words never come out &amp; i end up saying im fine and everything is good , i tried writing what i feel when i feel it but it's all too hard to describe i never find the words, the feeling of emptiness &amp; always wanting to cut off my friends &amp; just disappear &amp; stay in my bed all day, i dont want to die but i dont want to continue living like this , i have insomnia &amp; the only thing that gets me to sleep is crying my heart out until it hurts too much to stay awake , my anxiety is getting really bad its too much to take without medications , i just need my head to be quiet