So, long story short - I recently discovered by chance that a good friend of mine is (once again) following my r$pist on instagram, on a new account. For context, she followed him &amp; not me. I don’t care that she didn’t follow me, I probably just wasn’t in the forefront of her mind when she made the acct (it was a new account, I think.) But she was certainly following my r$pist. I don’t want to gatekeep who she can be friends with, but we’ve had this conversation many times &amp; she always says that she didn’t know it was a big deal but she’ll unfollow him, only to follow him again a few months later. On top of this, I’m not sure why she wants to be friends with a rapist, but she still continues to follow himself every new account. She’s also tried to make me stop being friends with people for things like *being mad when she’s done something to them, even when she admits that what she did to them was bad.* All in all, she can be friends with who she wants, as can I, but it hurts too much for me to be friends with her now. She was the first person I told after it happened, she watched me spiral &amp; drop out of school &amp; stop leaving the house, and she watched all the aftermath after I spoke out. It hurts *so much* that she’s following him. 

All this to say, she texted me a few days ago &amp; I just can’t have this conversation again - “hey, yeah I can’t be friends with you because you’re openly in contact with my r*pist &amp; that makes our friendship feel unsafe to me”, you know? I can’t handle another conversation where I have to justify why it’s okay for me to not want to be friends with someone who is knowingly friends with someone who r$ped one of their best friends. It takes too much of a toll on me, mentally. *But*, that being said, as someone who used to have a BPD diagnosis (psychologist realized that I’m actually Autistic &amp; my BPD traits were instead a result of unmet needs &amp; complex trauma) I’m very aware that ghosting someone with BPD is one of the worst things you can do. Not because having had a misdiagnosis means I had BPD, but because most of my friends had it &amp; I watched what they went through. I won’t claim to know what that is like, but I will also say that being ghosted when you’re Autistic also is very hard &amp; I don’t wish to do that to anyone if I can help it. The friendship is over, not salvageable, and I don’t feel friendship towards her anymore, but I care about her &amp; want to do this right. Does anyone have an idea for a good way to end this friendship while protecting her as well as me?