Hi there. My best friend and I met four years ago and have been thick as thieves ever since. Right before I met her she had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Since then, she’s made some progress in those aspects but also fought with anger management, anorexia, and codependency with a long term on and off boyfriend. We are unbelievably close and tell each other everything. I love her so much and try to support her in every single possible way I can, but as of late I’ve been struggling. 

I know her mental health struggle has been difficult, and while I don’t have things anywhere near as tough as she does, I’ve been struggling myself with college and other friendships and relationships and everything else life throws at me. I’ve had some serious health issues come up and have just felt very on edge and unwell for the past 6ish months. I want to be there for my best friend, she tells me how much she needs and appreciates me and how important I am to her, but it gets hard to ceaselessly help while she isn’t able to do the same for me. 

She unintentionally lashes out at me sometimes and really hurts my feelings. I want to be able to help her and I don’t want to abandon her ever, I just don’t feel like I can keep up the 24/7 positive, problem-solving, deescalating, soothing best friend role much longer, without a break at least. My parents and other friends don’t quite understand mental health battles and think my friend is just mean to me sometimes, but I know that’s not the case. Their only advice is “well just stop being friends with her” which is not what I want. I just need a break somehow, which sounds awful and I hate that I feel that way. 

Is there anything I can do without her thinking she’s a burden to me or like I’m leaving or giving up on her? Because that isn’t the case! I just need a bit of support myself right now and then I’ll be more than happy to go back to being her go-to for anything she ever needs. I guess I just feel helpless. :(