I usually never post anywhere on Reddit but I feel that now is the time. Today I was diagnosed with BPD. For a few months I've had the feeling that something wasn't right with me. I was ruining all my relationships, my identity was consistently shifting, I was cutting myself, and I felt that my life wasn't put together. It had been going on for some time. This all started when I turned 19. I was always alone since my parents were emotionally unavailable, but something in me just snapped and I went off the deep end. After my last girlfriend broke up with me in the shittiest possible way, back in April, I completely lost it. I ruined it, I always thought she was gonna abandon me and I couldn't bear it.   


Anyways, I went to a therapist afterwards. She is very nice and I have been able to control my anger and shifts a lot easier. I still feel empty and my feelings towards people constantly change. I have a best friend and a very close friend who have always been there for me. They're my rock. After four sessions she tested me and I got 7 out of the 9 criteria you need to be diagnosed. As I mentioned, I had previously researched this but needed a professional opinion and diagnosis.   


The real question is how do I live like this? I can firmly say that I am confident in my ability to get through school and work. I'm in college and about to turn 20 and everything at school is good. I don't socialize with people but I've got a pretty good relationship with my professors. But how do I deal with this in the real world? I'm too scared to date again and I just try to blend in everywhere I go with another identity. I accept the fact that this isn't my fault, but I would really appreciate anything you guys can tell me. I'm scared I'll end up a hermit.