After years of being humiliated, ostracized, or teased by other women I finally set things straight with a coworker who was harassing me and competing with me. I will say this doesn't happen with every woman, but when it does it is intense. I let people crawl into me. My whole life I have tried to dim my light to make people who were intimidated by me feel better (even some friends). I am pretty average looking, so it has nothing to do with my looks. For some reason I feel like people would make that assumption. I just have something "different" about me that some people don't like, or bothers people. I am still trying to figure out what different really means. But I know that  I am a genuine person and was gifted as a child. I am generally the smartest person in the room, depending on the room -- I know. I know. That means I am in the wrong rooms, but such is my circumstance right now. 

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Well I thought letting this woman know that I have boundaries and I was no longer going to play her game, I felt liberated. Now, however, I am paranoid she will retaliate and becoming quite paranoid. It's almost like I needed to be a part of her game with me, and to keep it alive I have become obsessed with her the way in which she has been with me, and probably wanted me to be. All the moments in my life where I allowed someone to steamroll me were alive when I, with so much adrenaline, called her out on her bullshit. I felt like something had been rectified, like I was finally thinking about me. Now I just feel like shit and I now there is a reason that my entire life I had to hide how different and much I shine.