my mother is a narcissist. 
she makes me feel worthless,as if everything i do could be done better. she takes pride in helping me NOT because she loves me but because it makes her feel superior and needed. for example, she knows I'm a little insecure about my weight(im 5'3 and weigh 54 kg). she is also insecure about hers(she's 5'6 and 75 kg). whenever i mention the need i feel to go on a diet,she'll act supportive(but at other times she'll even tell me I'd look weird if i lost weight because my head is very big). however when i show her some clothes i want to buy for myself,she'll make remarks like "that's a very pretty blouse,that'll really suit people like your sister(she's "skinny"),but it wont look good on people like us right?" and try to brush it off as a joke.
at the end of every argument we have,she makes me forget why we even started arguing. whenever i make a valid point,she'll brush it off and change the topic. she has never admitted her mistakes. even if she does,she'll say it like "i dont remember saying it that way,but if you feel like that then i guess im sorry" . she also always blames me for things she does. for example,we'll be arguing and she'll say "you never admit your mistakes" or "you never say you're sorry".
not only my mom,my parents have never been on good terms with one another. my dad is very unaffectionate and aloof,my mom is like that. they've been fighting for as long as i can remember. they've had problems way before i was even conceived. and my mother has the audacity to blame the fact that they havent been able to solve their problems because im too "immature". i once expressed how difficult my childhood was(only because she kept telling me how difficult HER life was and is because of her marriage)and she said "even children of sex workers grow up fine,don't blame it on us". what are your thoughts on this?
I've tried to help fix their problems more times than i can even remember. however now i feel detached and couldn't care less. whatever happens now,i feel like it has nothing to do with me when in fact it has everything to do with me. i guess im showing signs of trauma?but i dont know if what im going through is even bad enough to call it trauma haha
i also cant seem to share anything with anyone,even my closest friends. so most of my friendships are just surface level. i ended my first relationship because of the same reason. i couldn't open up to him about why i was considering breaking up(it was because of my parents,my mom in particular). so i ended it without giving him closure. i feel bad about it even now. are all these signs of bad parenting or am i just like this?
im sure im not the only one facing this. so if any of you have any advice on how to cope with such parents,I'd be really grateful. 

word of the day:
sonder:"the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own".