I’m can’t stop crying tonight, I haven’t cried in a while but tonight it’s been over 2 hours probably will cry myself to sleep. I have nobody to talk to about this stuff, I imagine suicide on a daily basis this is the closest I’ve ever been. I don’t know what’s wrong with me , but I hate myself, I don’t know why I am this way, I’m ducked up man I don’t know if I can’t do this anymore . I’m so tired of faking it , I’m like 5 shots deep right now I feel like just drinking until I don’t wake up I’m ducking worthless I need help . I can only be an actor everyday for so long and I’m convinced I’m beyond help