I’m just really confused right now. My partner of 2 years (we’ve been best friends for years before that though) has BPD and this is the first time he’s split on me this bad... He broke up with me while we were together irl for the first time in a bit (covid) and I’m realizing that this all happened because he’s been in the devaluing stage with me for a little while.
I hear a lot of different stories about devaluing, but without revealing any personal details about the arguments we’ve had, what does it mean when he says all these things to imply that he hates me/no longer loves me, but continues to contact me first after saying he doesn’t want to talk, (although the messages are usually complaints about my own behavior), continues to follow me on all social media, hasn't removed a single social media post about me, and generally wont tell anyone that he broke up with me? I also see him on my Instagram story constantly, and now he’s posting about his Grindr hookups after he told a mutual friend that it grossed him out. Should I be worried that this is a form of self harm?
I’ve never been more confused in my life. He goes from saying that I’m to blame for everything then two sentences later says it’s not my fault. I can’t tell anymore what he wants to do. I just want to be there for him, and I do genuinely believe that he is my soulmate. He’s said the same. I don’t know.