I was just really stupid for doing what I did but I gotta vent about it. While trying to get my computer to work with an hdmi cable I called the support and after trying some stuff he suggested reinstalling the OS. 

I knew there was a chance that we would have to reboot it all but it's a small chance so I only backed up work stuff, I was very anxious at the moment, not wanting to waste the dude's time (which is stupid ofc bc that's his job) and my own working time, as I already felt overwhelmed by a ton of stuff to do this week. 

Suddenly something went wrong and we had to reset everything. I could have said I wanted to try and get back to my normal desktop with all my stuff and would try to solve my issue later but in the craziness of it all I panicked and just backed up work stuff but deleted everything else. I'm now filled with guilt, anger and sadness over something that is not necessary for my wellbeing but as it could be avoided. I just feel heartbroken and miserable for being so weak. Maybe I did it unconsciously on purpose, I don't know anymore.

What creates the most anxiety is the fact that I have *some* stuff backed up but not all of it. So I'm feeling very very nervous about having lost something that I'll only find out about in the future. I cannot put a finger on exactly what I've lost and that is making me crazy!!! Ugh I need a hug. I couldn't stand up for myself with a support person??? So f*cking weak and narrow minded when I get anxious. aaaaaaaaaa

tldr: had to reboot pc. there was so much stuff in it and i panicked with tech support over the phone and deleted everything without checking for a backup. don't know exactly what I've lost.