I know I’m overreacting and believe me if I could stop this anxiety if I stop this obsessing I would but I can’t. I reach out I try to get help and I can’t find it . Everyone just tells me it’s not that big of a deal, you always try to find something to worry about, you’re making it a bigger deal than it actually is, it’s going to be ok when all the while I just want to scream NO ITS FUCKING NOT. IM NOT OK IM DROWNING. IM GOING BACK THE DARK. I KNOW IM OBSESSING I KNOW IM WORRIED ABOUT SMALL TRIVIAL THINGS DONT YOU THINK FOR JUST A SECOND IF I COULD GET IT TO STOP I WOULD? I mean fuck. I’m to the point that I can’t even say what’s in my head anymore. I can’t talk all I can do is cry when I try to. I don’t want to eat all I want to do is sleep I don’t even care if I’m here . 
People always ask why didn’t they reach out for help . Why. They did you just brushed it off and ignored the signs because it wasn’t that big of a deal when to them it was .