I’ve been with my boyfriend for just over a year now, when i first got really stressed about getting actually diagnosed with bpd, i was so worried i wouldn’t be able to do a relationship and i’m still scared that i can’t, but he knows i don’t want to leave him ever. i get panic attacks without him, i cry or can’t sleep and i need medication for sleeping and have since i was 16, im now almost 20, and i can instantly fall asleep in his arms without medication. He read articles thoroughly to come up with his own ways to handle my situation and help me with it. he reads to me, dances with me, sings to me, when i have breakdowns and say horrible things and try to leave him and instantly regret my words and actions when i take my lorazepam and he still calms ME down and reassures me. he made it possible for me to move in with him when my mom kicked me out. he says he knows i don’t like my brain and how it works but he loves me because my heart is better than anyone he’s ever met. in all my past relationships all we ever did was have sex and i’ve been freaking out because sometimes i feel like we don’t do it enough, and he’s telling me that he loves me so much and it’s gonna take me getting used to being in an actual relationship where the foundation isn’t just sex. it actually made me cry because i’ve been used for so long and now i have a man i can go to sleep with and wake up next to and will love me always even if i don’t want sex as often. he said he loves me for my heart, my body is just an awesome perk that comes with it. I don’t think i’ve ever been happier or more afraid in my life. But he seems to understand my bpd better than i do. today we calmed me down without the use of lorazepam which i didn’t think was possible because i tend to need that pill to restart my emotions.