*The story:*

I think I might have fucked things up with my BPD romantic partner. I'm just absolutely wild about this woman but she just got out of an abusive, toxic relationship and she didn't want anything serious and it got to the point where I have such strong feelings for her I just couldn't manage doing anything that wasn't serious anymore... It was like my heart wanted to jump right out of my chest constantly...  I want her to have the time and space she needs to heal from all of that horrible shit. I couldn't stand the thought of hurting her by sharing my feelings or those feelings pressuring her away from what she's said she needed and I didn't think I could hold them in anymore by continuing how things were going.

I met up with her for a walk and tried to explain it and at first it seemed like it went really well, she was understanding and we had a good but difficult chat and shared how much we'd both miss each other and she shared that she loves me and I got to tell her how I love her too. I tried to tell her that I didn't want it to be over but that I couldn't do this without jumping all the way in and that I wanted to figure out if there's a way we can still be there for each other and that if she gets to the point where she's ready for a full relationship and still wants that I very much want that too. Lots of tears and hugging and stuff.

Then she drives off and a few minutes later I start to get texts about how mad she is at me and how she feels abandoned and that I shouldn't have started to see her if I knew it was going to be like this. And saying some really hurtful and untrue things about me... I tried to explain that I didn't know that it was going to be like this and that I wasn't trying to abandon her - that it was the opposite of what I wanted - but it took a lot of texts for the tone of our convo to start to change a bit. She called me on the phone (which she HATES doing) and we had a good little chat but didn't really reach anything.. she's said she's ok with me telling her my true feelings or telling people in my life about her or being in photos together on social media but that she just can't commit to a relationship with labels right now. That's not something I would be ok with forever but mostly it's just helpful to be able to say I love you to her.. anyways it's a day later now and we've texted back and forth a little bit. She says she loves me and that she wants a life with me but I can tell she's still really hurt and conflicted.

*The questions:*

I've been trying to learn more about BPD but it's still all really new to me... Is there anything I should keep in mind during this time of uncertainty?

I've been working through "Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder" and they talk about how people with BPD can feel feelings a lot stronger and for a lot longer, so it sounds like some extra patience and understanding while she works through things would be good?

I really love this woman more than I thought was possible. And I want her to be happy and healthy whether or not that involves me being in her life. But I don't know if it's the kind of thing where I should drop off flowers at her house or be initiating contact or if it's the kind of thing where I should just try to back off for a couple of days and let her be the one to initiate contact.

Thanks for reading &amp; any advice you might have ❤️