I am so scared right now, my mom and my stepfather were just arguing again. It has been getting worse lately and I am literally so stressed over it. I have had traumatic experiences of being in the middle of fights and arguments between my parents and other adults in my life. While my dad was getting over one of his relationships we moved in with one of his sister's whose husband was just as bad as him and when he got angry over almost nothing he went so far with his anger issues as to get physically violent with my sister. And I don't really know how to explain it, but whenever something like this happens my brain feels overloaded. I just had a very unpleasant thought pop into my head. I wanted to grab my pocket knife, and walk upstairs and in front of my mom just jam it into my leg. I feel like these thoughts have been occurring more often recently. And I don't know what to do about it, I feel like this is the only way for me to get my feelings across to them. I am disappointed in myself for feeling this way. And I wish that I could just go to therapy or something because although I am not diagnosed with anything I am pretty sure that I have depression, ptsd, anxiety, along with god knows whatever else. I also am scared to tell anyone anything to the point where my legs are shaking writing this. I am really in a bad spot right now. I feel like everything in my past that I tried to push away and ignore is all hitting me at once and I just can't take it.