ugh. this is just. too hard. im sick of feeling paralyzingly empty one minute then feeling like i need to slam my head into a wall or ill explode because of how overwhelmed i am the next. ive ruined all my friendships because they honestly just dont mean anything to me. i dont have the energy for it. but somehow, i have the energy to spend every waking moment obsessing over That One Person™. there's no middle ground. im so tired. i just hate myself and who ive become so much, i hate that nothing helps anymore. ugh