I’m currently being assessed for BPD in therapy, and I really need some answers soon. Every single day is a chore. I’m basically just watching the clock and waiting for bed time to come so I can smoke weed and knock myself out. It feels like there’s nothing in this world I could be interested in and stick to. I’ve tried starting so many hobbies, but I always end up giving up and sulking in bed. I’m currently on antipsychotics for Bipolar I and SSRIS for GAD, and my mood is somewhat stable compared to before. However, every day feels so boring with some random happy days in between. Yesterday, I went shopping and it made me so happy that I became very impulsive. I ended up agreeing to hook up with a random guy and now I regret it. Wtf is wrong with my brain? When I’m not immediately happy, I just feel completely empty and bored. I really really hope I can get some answers soon. This emptiness and boredom has been part of my life for so long I don’t even know what it’s like to feel like a fulfilled person with interests and real personality traits. Ugh.