tl;dr: losing sleep and appetite, and becoming extremely paranoid over trying to prepare myself for the worst, asking for someone to talk to or something I can do to get through the next few weeks.

Hi, I don’t know if this’ll reach anyone but I hope someone can hear me out and maybe offer some advice. I’m losing sleep, losing appetite, and basically losing my damn mind, and all I want is some peace.

Some context: I’m traveling abroad to visit family,  my parents and I have bought plenty of new clothes and supplies to bring back to Canada (my home country), but kept virtually none of the receipts. Typically I (much like my parents or my seasoned traveler friends) would just scribble down the maximum allowable amount for personal exemptions and rely on my confidence to get through customs, and that would go just fine.

But this time around, things have changed. I’ve decided not to take the risk of lying at customs and decided that I want to declare everything. Everything under the sun. I even started a spreadsheet listing everything and anything I’m bringing back to Canada, in the hopes that I’ve done everything I can to not break any laws.

For the past few days, no matter how much I’ve tried to reconcile with my mistakes, or tried to search for answers amongst my friends or the internet, or tried to do everything I can within my power to prepare myself, I still don’t feel like I’ve done enough. I’m scared sh*tless of breaking the law, and every time my parents bring up buying something for me, or even just the thought of shopping or airports or Canada or customs, my anxiety shoots up.

I know I’m doing all I can to do my due diligence when it comes to airport customs, but right now I just really want my anxiety to leave me, and I don’t know how to go about it. I wish I had my friends to talk to, or someone who knows what they’re doing to talk to, or at this point literally anyone to talk to.

If anyone is able to support me or guide me somewhere, please reach out. I just want the remainder of this trip to go smoothly, and I really just want to go home, even though it’s still three weeks away.