My birthday was two days ago and as usual i had a day just like any other day and i was also very disappointed. Three of my friends told me they were coming over to see me and spend time with me, and they never did. I spent most of the say in my room alone, crying, playing video games, thinking about my life and why everyone puts so much pressure on birthdays. Why is it so important to have an extra special day? Why do we need everyone to recognize our birth as some sort of achievement. Whos idea was it to make birthdays a big deal? Why does it matter how many people say happy birthday to you, or what presents you get, or what you do to celebrate?

Some of my closest friends, or who i consider to be my closest friends, didn't wish me a happy birthday which obviously upset me. The girl i like didnt wish me a happy birthday. The only people who got me a gift were my brother and my boss. The older you get, the less special birthdays become. The more people forget about you. The less you matter.

I now have the added stress of being booted off my parents insurance so i have to scrambe to figure that out by the end of the month. 

I just feel so lonely. I dont know if my friends are really there for me. I have no one im romantically involved with. Everything brings me to anger or to sadness. I wish everything was different. I wish i was different.