I was at my lowest, because of what happened i lost my job, my car, my place and my self respect. Never been so humiliated in my entire life.... But even tho my life is going to shit, may become a criminal and I'm not sure yet but it's possible i go to jail, which is a death sentence knowing i was a cop... But fuck by almost dying i've learned that living is not as scary as dying alone...... I'm fine with death and always was, but I'm alone with no one and i just don't want to die alone.

&amp;#x200B;

I found the guts to live and it scares the shit out of me....