As i said, they only came during conflict between us or when she had distress in her life, does this mean she could have quiet BPD or covert NPD?

Why would traits only come out during these instances?

Does it mean anything if they came out only during conflict and distress?

They came out and caused her to leave me citing I was negative and toxic yet she blamed me for all the wrongs and took 0 accountability.

She either split me black or discarded me by removing me completely from her life despite being completely fine the week before.