My dad was a manipulative and abusive person. Everything he did was pure crazy. He used to touch me in inappropriate parts and spit on my face. He pressured me to always get good scores in school and punished me whenever I got bad scores. I'll talk about the main thing which he gave me that ruined my life. 

At the end of 2019, I was diagnosed with Epilepsy, a neurological disorder which causes seizures whenever I get tired, stressed, or hungry. The doctor said it was because of stress from school or family. I instantly thought about my dad. I searched about Epilepsy and read it can't be cured. I saw the term Sudden Death in Epilepsy and this made me live in fear. 

I had school and told friends. I was 14 and almost finished Junior High School. Some bullied me, and then Covid-19 appeared. This was a blessing to me as I didn't have to go to school and worry about having seizures. Since then, I stayed in my room a lot. I urinated in empty bottles because I didn't want my dad to know I exit my room to go to the toilet. I always brought food to my room and left the rubbish on the floor. 

My dad always compared me to my cousin with BD, and my uncle with Epilepsy too. He said my condition was not as bad as theirs. My dad always acknowledged that I am a disabled kid. He said I can't do certain jobs I like. He made fun of my acne, facial hair, and many more. He says he loves me as his son but I don't get why he says nasty things to me. 

Now I am in 12th grade and everyone is doing offline school except me. I haven't done any exams and I don't communicate with people often. I have Insomnia so I pretty much sleep during school hours. I also have a condition where I have high haemoglobin. The meds I take to reduce my seizures also destroy my liver. Everything I do makes me anxious. I'm scared for my future children because they might inherit my Epilepsy. I am also scared that I won't pass and won't get accepted by universities

I am lost in life and I don't know what is right for me. People say I should ignore my father's words but it is really hard. I don't enjoy life anymore and feel useless. I blame my dad for giving me this curse. Life sucks. For the readers. don't let people stress you out. Life isn't easy but try to enjoy it. &lt;3