I consider her as my baby as she’s 17 now and I had her when she was a two months old kitten. She’s currently at the vet battling for her life, under oxygen, I don’t even know what to do because I want to be with her but at the same time I can’t bring her to my home and watch her agonise. 
My mother which is largely responsible for my bad mental health is unberable, I can’t fucking stand her and it hurts me to feel that toward her because I know she did her best to raise me but she is emotionally deficient as fuck and the only thing she can do is being angry about all this situation, blaming the vet, and repeating that animals have the right to die at home like us... why can’t she just shut the fuck up ???? I had the worst year of my life because of my terrible mental health I lost almost everything including my job and now I’m losing my cat and she is unable to show some compassion and to comfort me. It makes me sick. It’s too much, I feel like I’m too much for this planet, my emotions are too much to handle and I just don’t know how I’ll cope if my little cat dies. I’m so tired of feeling all this pain. I want it to stop. I don’t want to be here.