so, i was talking to my aunt(not blood related, i just call her that) and the topic of my step dad came up.

now, i call him my step dad cause i would consider him a father figure, but my mother only dated him for a very short while.
me and my aunt were talking, since ive cut contact with my mother, and i was just finally having that moment to dump the trauma of WHY(although not all of it lmao i dont want to make someone cry from this again), and i had mentioned him, and was gonna explain that my mother, being the angel she is, had told me right after the break up that he was too depressed to be around me and my elder brother and that he was probably gonna kill himself once she stopped talking to him, but then also that she... well, only dated him so me and my elder brother could have a father figure, and that she... didnt ever love him, actually, which like very cool mom, we love that toxicity.

either way, my aunt told me something very interesting then; he wasnt just depressed, it was more that that, and i asked like... "what do you mean?" and she told me that, although he often was depressed, he would also change moods fast and be very very cheerful and happy suddenly and stuff, which, in my countries very very ignorant-of-mental-illness language and attitute, basically means "he had bpd." because i too have been described that way, word for word.
this i found to actually make me... happy? for some reason? i really love my step dad and that i could relate to him on that level made me super happy, my brain is also very funny and keeps on going that "i inherited that." even though, of course, im not blood related.

i do like that thought though, a bit weird but lmao.
thats all, its neither bad nor that good its just. neat lol