Does anybody sometimes feel that this condition is only a means for us to manipulate people and preserve a broken/disfunctional identity because it is a sort of weird comfort zone? 

The mood swings, emptiness, oversharing, constant need for validation etc. - Is all of this in fact a charade that we are in self-denial of?

Because often I feel as if there is absolutely nothing wrong with me, and that I am just making all of this up and that I really am a lazy, lying, selfish person that is too much of a coward to stand up for himself and face the world.

But every time I tell myself this and I promise myself that I will get better and do better I stumble and fall horribly.

Every-single-time.

So I really don't know what to think anymore.

I just feel lost and tired of everything...