I don’t have parents with money, they’ve each got their trauma that they passed on to me as the eldest daughter, I’ve got worsening physical and mental health problems, I’m barely surviving. 
I’m pretty much on my own, even though my bf is supportive and he offered to work hard to pay for anything I need when we live together, in a year or two. But he doesn’t want to accept the extent of my deteriorating health, for fear he will lose hope. He….doesn’t want to accept he could lose me any day now, he doesn’t want to accept that one day my body will be so tired and I will choose to give it rest at last. 
I tell him, by then I will be dead inside. If my body is giving up on me nowadays…how bad will I be by then? 
……how do I cope with the fact that I am trapped in my body because I cannot afford to get treated for anything? 

(I deal with chronic overall body pain, with my back being the worst, chronic fatigue, I may possibly have scoliosis, severe depression, worsening anxiety, I fit in the box for BPD) 

If anyone can help, or give information, that would be very much appreciated. &lt;3 .