This week I found out after making it through a four stage hiring process and waiting to months after my interview that I’m not getting the graduate job I wanted. I’m experienced in admin and wanted to take a side step since I graduated in March so applied for a grad position and didn’t get it. Had a break down. I don’t know what I’m going with my life anymore or where to go. I went to the doctors this week who sent me for immediate scans based off other test results. I thought I had cancer based on what the scans where looking for. Turns out it’s not as bad as they thought… so I don’t have cancer. I was disappointed when I found that out because it means I have to go back to work on Monday. 

I don’t want to be here. I want to check out and not come back. I wish I was able to do it but I can’t so I guess I’ll just keep being miserable.