Is anyone else really afraid to move out and be independent from their family? I’m 20 years old and I go to college and live at home with both of my parents. I’m an only child so my parents have been a huge part of my life for the majority of it. My moms always been “crazy” my whole life and I could never pin point why. She was normal, took care of me well, we had a wealthy household with lots of vacations, new technology, clothes, etc. but she had mood swings like no parent I’d seen before. It was like she got angry in 5 seconds over little things and would say horrible things to me and then 5 seconds later she would completely be fine and forget all the horrible things she said as if she didn’t say them. I’m thinking she too has bpd, because I’m starting to understand why she’s done those things and I have BPD. My father has always thought she was crazy but stayed for me and for financial reasons. I love my parents and they love me but they hate each other and the threat of divorce is always on the table. Ive always thought my mother had commitment issues, because Ive caught her cheating before and she constantly tells me how bored she is with her life, she’ll wish my dad to be dead but then say he’s family the next. There is always fighting. However, I find it so difficult to think about possibly leaving them or them divorcing. The thought of them divorcing has always killed me inside even though I’ve always known it was the right thing. But I’m so afraid of leaving them that I sometimes cry about it alone at night. I have a boyfriend and he’s definitely my FP I see him constantly and I love him very much and would love to live with him. But for some reason, I’m afraid to leave my parents and lose my family dynamic. I don’t want them to divorce I don’t want to lose them as my family and I know I won’t, but I seem to just feel that I will and that’s enough to get me sobbing on the floor. Even recently I’ve been spending so much time with my boyfriend and not a lot with my parents and I’ve been pretty distraught over it, even though I’m not making any active attempts to fix it. I don’t know, I’m scared I won’t be able to do anything on my own, that I’ve been dependent so long I won’t be able to be solely independent. It terrifies me