I'm going to talk about my recent experience (including doctor/ER visits), how I was feeling during my anxiety, and what symptoms I was experiencing below, so if this may trigger your anxiety please refrain from reading.

&amp;#x200B;

Anxiety runs in my family, almost everyone on my mom's side of the family has it at various levels of severity. Many of those family members are also on medication for anxiety. This is all to just say, I knew it was coming but I didn't know how tough it would be.

This past Saturday I probably had my worse anxiety episode. I had had 2 panic/anxiety attacks in the past. The first one I was flying back home after a Job interview, and suddenly my heart started racing, my left hand began to tingle, and I felt out of breath. I was able to distract myself, make it through the flight, and by the time I was home I felt better. The second was earlier this year after I got my first COVID vaccine, and probably had the "worst" physical symptoms? In addition to the symptoms from the first panic attack my hands started to contract, my tongue felt swollen and I was slurring my speech a bit. The medical staff checked me out and within 5-10 minutes I had come down from the anxiety and was able to head home. In addition to those, recently I have been experiencing what I call "mini" episodes, where my heart rate elevates a bit and I feel anxious, but that's it. I had been considering speaking to a doctor about it, but never got around to scheduling the appointment. Saturday, however, it feels like the rug was pulled out from under me.

I had a bit of a precursor event friday evening, usual mild anxiety episode, but it did take a bit longer than usual to calm down. I had had some more caffeine than usual, so I attributed it to that. I wnet to bed, slept fine, woke up Saturday morning and felt fine. I woke up a bit earlier than usual to watch a football game which wound up being a bit stressful, and may have tipped me over the edge. After the game, I felt anxious so I began to try what I had done in the past to calm down and nothing seemed to work. I was anxious for the rest of the day. I contacted my doctors office in the late afternoon and they prescribed me some xanax to help me calm down, and recommended I schedule an appointment to come in and discuss my anxiety (which I did, and has already happened). I went and got the xanax, came home, and took the dose they prescribed me (the lowest dose). Nothing. I reached out again, and they said I could take a little bit more since they had me on literally the lowest dose. That helped a bit, but when I went to go to bed it all came rushing back. I called my brother at that point and went to the ER, hoping there was something they could do to help me feel better and sleep. That visit amounted to waiting in the waiting room for a few hours, dosing off in the process, and finally calming down BEFORE being called back and talking with a doctor. Since I felt better, and my vitals were good (other than some high blood pressure the doctor attributed to the anxiety) the discharged me and I went home.

Things have been better since then, but I'm not back to my "normal" from before. My doctors appointment rolled around, and my PCP determined that I should start a daily medication for anxiety and begin some therapy to try to address my anxiety. Of course, now I am having anxiety about my medication and side effects even though I've only been on it 2 days, and the only place I can seemingly avoid most anxiety now is laying in bed. I've also had nausea of varying degrees since Saturday, but they have been a bit worse since starting my medication.

&amp;#x200B;

This is the toughest and scariest thing I've ever dealt with in my life. I know it gets better, but even the 3-4 weeks for the medication to start to work feels like an eternity.