I have anxiety and health anxiety among other things. I've been on lexapro like 5 months and have been doing a lot better, haven't really had any actual panic attacks in months, and haven't ruminated in idk how long.   


Today however, I got mail from my credit union about a no-cost accidental death insurance worth $2000 from them, upgradable for payment if I desire blah blah. I wasn't freaked out at first, at first I thought, well that's nice of them, and signed up for it, cause why not? 

However, after filling it out, getting the envelope sent out, I suddenly have been ruminating on it a lot. Thinking about how I hope it never needs to be used, cause, I would sure like to not die...   


Then the thought of *'what if getting that was a sign that I am going to die soon?'* and my brain just RAN with that thought, and is ruminating on it. Soooooo fun.   


NOT. UGH