Seriously. It took me a really long time to discover I was bipolar. But the contrast in experience between medicated and unmedicated is truely astonishing. At first I thought something was wrong, like, shouldn't I be feeling _something_ and then, hours later, something totally different.

But nothing is wrong. I can still actually feel, just more subtly. I can make reasonable evaluations of my emotions, and... really I'm not sure how to describe it. Just that, since starting on the meds I feel _stable_ and I had no idea how good that feeling can be.

I also have ADHD so one of the things that was most surprising was that after starting the lithium, and not after starting the stimulants, I was able to focus, like really focus, for days at a time. I'm a software dev, and I've been working on a side project for the past several years, however I never got anything done on it the way I have on Lithium. For the first time in my life, I was able to work on a project for MONTHS at a time, and it's very nearly done. It's a very good feeling seeing that yes, in fact, I can _do_ this. I'm _good_ at this, and I'm _creating something_. I can actually DO IT. 

I feel whole. It feels so good. I feel so good about myself, now that I've been stabilized by my meds.