(warning: not a happy post, mental health)

I made this throwaway to seek judgement on my incident. Around the time I turned 20, I met someone online who said they were 18, and later found out they were 15 or 16 when we talked. We didn't send photos or anything, but I still felt tremendous guilt for the conversations we had. Even though I was completely duped, I couldn't help but feel responsible for the whole thing. I've cleaned up my act a ton since finding out, but it feels like I'll never outrun the fear, guilt and shame from it.

I've received lovely comfort from lawyers in a legal perspective, from online daters who've had similar experiences, and everyday people who understand the mistake. Even my best friends know about it and have said it doesn't change their view of me at all. Despite all this support, it's eating away at me. I don't know how to move on :( I feel terrible for the victim, and I feel terrible for my future. I feel like people won't care that I was deceived and I'll be thrown into the clump of scum of the Earth. Terrible paranoia. Thanks for reading this, I'm sorry it's so disjointed.