I feel like I'm stuck in this self destructive loop caused by my own impulsive behavior. I spend a lot of my time entering new social circles trying everything I can to fit in. I idolize members of high caliber and attempt to become this perfect character to impress them. It usually takes anywhere between a few days to a few months before they accept me as one of their own, and by then I have this persona I turn on like a light switch whenever we talk. Over time, I feel like these cliques are as worthless as I am, and pit friends against each other for fun. This is obviously an unhealthy way to form relationships, but I love the sense of validation when people favor me over someone they've known for years. It would be nice to know that I'm not alone in this.