Feel like I'm just a ghost and I don't belong anywhere...

Starting to wonder if i'll ever be normal :( Therapy is so long away and some of the stuff in my therapy book I don't understand. I wish could take it all back. Cause without you this is painful. I feel so broken, but then again I was already broken. I hate BPD I hate it I hate it more than I hate myself. I wish i was just normal. Why couldn't it have been all ok? WHy did this have to be my thought process why did I have to feel like this. So intense that it cripples me.  Iv'e lost someone who meant so much to me because I'm a fucking idiot. It hurts so badly. 

&amp;#x200B;

I'm sorry to waste forum space on this post. I'm sorry for just breathing.

&amp;#x200B;

(If you see this If at any chance YOU see this. I'm sorry and I miss you.) 