I'm a 22 y/o white male living with my moms immigrated south american parents. Living cozy. I love having my family with me and I count my blessings every moment I can. However, I inherited depression from my Dad's side of the family. Sometimes my behavior is like night and day, but it's not bipolar. I was recently misdiagnosed. (Sorry if this comes out as a rant by the way). I think I actually have depression but I pushed for bipolar because I knew my grandma had it and I've been having episodes. I was prescribed Olazipine but I stopped taking it because I had headaches from taking it daily. I relapsed smoking marijuana and I know it's a crutch. 

Recently, it's been harder and harder to keep a positive framework. I've been doing everything I can to move up in society. I work, go to school now, but I still feel awful. I used to be deep into self help but my home environment stresses me too much so I resort to short term gratification because I am too used to being in my comfort zone. Among my stressors (that I know I put on myself) are a seemingly unsolvable cockroach infestation in the kitchen, living with my slowly dying grandparents (God bless them), and my disabled brother who (God bless him too) can be very loud and stressful to look after to name a few.

I find it hard to pray to God sometimes, I resort to crutches like unhealthy food and masterbation . 

If anyone could relate to my situation, would love to hear it. Thanks