Advance TL;DR - Dr gave me papers, they say I have BPD. I never knew. Explains some things.

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Weird way to be diagnosed and to fall into a community to be sure. I will be speaking with a professional tomorrow in regards to this matter.

Anyway the full story. I have fibromyalgia, depression, anxiety and PTSD and stopped by the clinic to pick up my documents for my disability. Packaged with then was a psych consult from last year that my Dr wished me to mail with the package.

I read through the consult and tried to ignore some pretty sloppy unprofessional mistakes but noticed in one segment was  "cluster B traits" which led to a Google search. Ah, personality disorders. None of them a match for me as I am rather mellow. The psychiatrist was a jerk anyway. Moving on.

But that term popped up again in my paperwork in my Dr notes, and my Case worker notes, specifying BPD. This led me to do some actual research. Some things led to nods but then the term "splitting" came up.

I might be wrong, but recently my room mate has been more aggressive and I have gone from seeing him as one of my best friends to being afraid of him. Not quite like that, but my opinion of him changed really drastic really fast. This happens if I think someone is mad at me, or disappointed in me. I always thought I was dramatic. Maybe this isn't it but this makes a lot of sense. This clicks.

I don't know if this is a BPD thing or an anxiety in general thing, but hearing people talking just out of earshot from my house makes me anxious. Through an open window. So like a neighbor on the porch talking about anything. I have to close my windows.

I see someone tomorrow for clarification, but maybe someone here can help me out too? This is kind of a big thing and can really change how I cope with my mental health!