Maybe it's my mix of ADHD and BPD, but when I'm in an episode, sometimes my thoughts go so fast that I feel like I can't talk. And my partner will get upset, thinking I'm giving him the silent treatment, but in reality I'm just struggling to form coherent thoughts and fighting off all the negative shit going on in my head! 

I also feel like once I open that flood gate and say something, ANYTHING could come out. I could say the meanest or darkest shit. So it's like, I'd rather keep the clamp on and just wait out the storm?