9 years ago I was driving in my car to work. Usually there's some traffic but this time the traffic was completely jammed.  After half an hour or so I got the urge to poop. The traffic didn't get going. And with no exit in sight and being in the middle lane I had nowhere to go. I panicked and shitted myself. This was such a horrible experience. Ever since that moment I don't trust my body anymore. If I see a traffic jam sign I immediately get nervous. I don't like to be in situations where I can't leave, like a subway or being in a car with a colleague. Nobody knows this about me. Every day this controls my life. I couldn't carefree enjoy my own wedding. I worried about the drive to the hospital when my kids were born. I got severe panic attacks waiting in line for some event with my kids. I say no to cool activities like hiking and travelling. When I watch a movie I often think: "I wish I could do that" but immediately remind myself I can't do that because of my anxiety. Feeling nervous is my default state of mind. The link between feeling nervous and having the urge to poop is something I always had. But in the past I only got nervous from things everyone get nervous about. I never shitted myself again but in some occasions it was very close. I went to a psychologist, did cognitive therapy. Tried breathing techniques and meditation. Even tried to do EMDR. But it didn't help. I'm stuck.

Does anyone of you recognise this type of anxiety? What is it called? Do you still have it? If not: how did you get rid of it?

**TL;DR**

Pooped in my pants while stuck in traffic 7 years ago. Since then every day is about feeling nervous and having anxiety to have to poop. I'm stuck.