I was “diagnosed” at 16 with emerging bpd, and have since been treated as someone with bpd, although it has not been fully confirmed since I turned 18, I’m 20 now(legally in the uk you’re not diagnosed with personality disorders till ur a legal adult). I accepted that diagnosis and got therapy (dbt) which did really help and helped to deal with those symptoms. However there were certain traits that didn’t fit totally with the typical bpd person, such as having the “quiet” bpd type, or being more avoidant. But I met most of the criteria so I didn’t think too much of it.

Bipolar was considered before my diagnosis but I didn’t appear to experience mania and my mood swings were short and very erratic so they didn’t think it could be bipolar.

Recently I have been very confused with my mental state, as although I’m more stable in areas of my life, and I have ambitious goals and much more stable sense of self, this doesn’t effect my state of mind. I noticed that I was constantly going through cycles, usually 3-4 months of being in one state, and a few more months of being in other. These states feel out of my control and often unrelated to things happening in my life. I will go through a period of being quite content and optimistic (even with my unstable emotions), making friends quickly, starting projects, overworking, studying. And then I go though I period after where I am completely depressed, unmotivated, isolate from everyone, leave jobs and communities and give up on life. I can’t seem to explain or understand what triggers these episodes.

Something that I have read a lot about people who were misdiagnosed was that they did not react well to antidepressants. I have tried 4 different antidepressants all which I could not cope with because of the way the made my mental state worse. But I also know meds don’t always help people with bpd.

I feel very confused I don’t know if I have been misdiagnosed or if I’m feeling like this because I have no current treatment in place. I just want to know what’s up with me.