Seems like I'm cursed or something. When I am in pain or needing help I'm always ignored or my problems minimized. I have horrible anxiety, depression and going through grief and also addiction at the moment and I try to reach out for help or ask and I'm almost always ignored or brushed off like it doesn't matter. I feel like I'm better off dead but don't have the courage to do it and I feel like I'm going to die alone and always have an impending doom feeling. I try to explain this to people I'm close to but it seems like they don't care or just ignore me. It's happened like this alot of my life even when a kid and I feel so alone and just like my life is a joke to everyone. I don't know what to do anymore. I try to be the best I can but I am struggling alot and people just act like they are better off without me. I've been called stupid and treated like a bother by people I thought I could trust or care about. Is my life just supposed to be suffering and pain? Seems like there's nothing else for me to look forward to. People just build me up to break me back down again. I doubt anyone will even respond to this, I just don't know what to do anymore and I don't know how to separate myself from the only people I know without losing everything. Again. I am constantly sad and then people push me to the breaking point and I get upset, then I'm the bad guy and all my feelings are made invalid and I don't know how to fix things anymore...feel like everyone is against me. I have nobody to talk to who understands and nobody who cares. How can I just be alone and not be a burden when my mental state is falling apart and I have no one? I just wish I could be homeless or something at this point but I have animals and I feel stuck. Am I just meant to be here to be pushed around until I die?