I think about ending things almost every day, not seriously yet, but between the collapse of the environment/climate and society it is hard to be positive. The only thing keeping me going right now is my career. 

But my postdoc position is ending soon and I need to get a faculty job or leave academia in the next year. The academic job market is getting more toxic and cut-throat all the time making it very hard to land a permanent position. Getting these jobs boils down to a random reading by highly biased profs who only spend seconds judging your life's work and determining your fate. 

Thing is, I can't bear to instead sell myself to some corporation that will exploit my skills for profit -- all while destroying the planet. At least as a prof, I could try and educate people to try make a better world.

So, if I can't survive to the next stage, then it might be the end of the road for me in every sense.

Not sure what I want from this post, just needed to say this to someone. I wish people around me could understand, but they don't.