I realized whenever I'm more emotional pain I fixate on politics heavy, politics I find to be incredibly stressful so it's strange. Ideally I'd like to not consider/care about them at all. I know that's not realistic or good, but a part of me does regret caring. Its a stressful coping mechanism that makes me upset.

But it's somewhat better than my depression and child abuse, I'd rather fixate on anger towards other political movements or parties than try and improve myself.

I don't know, I don't feel like I enjoy politics genuinely even though I claim to enjoy them. I feel like I'm just trying to find a distraction, I wonder if I should just stop engaging, not like I have anything of value to say after all. Nor do I really even want to say anything.