*Self Harm mention

Ive really been spiraling recently. I feel so irredeemably bad and like I don't deserve anything good. Part of me knows this isn't true but the part that believes it is currently overwhelming me. I haven't self harmed in a while but I recently did two days in a row. Not bad but bad enough, I'm trying not to do it again but I don't know what else to do when I'm a headspace like that. I'm also stressed because I'm about to move during a pandemic, I'm not sure if I'm going to have a place to go to. I'm afraid to ask any of my friends for help because I'm not sure if they're really my friends, if they really care. If I can even ask of something like this to them. I think they're just waiting for the point they no longer have to interact with me (we're all also current roommates)