I've been struggling with anxiety my entire life but i didn't noticed until a few years ago. I started going to therapy but i just had my first session last monday.

I feel tired of my life, I can't sleep at night and sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night just to start thinking about the same shit of the past, thinking about my present and worrying about my future.

My father lived with us till i was 7, my mother decided to move on and we just move to an other city, a huge change in my life, far from everything and everyone i know. Always waiting for my dad to come back.

Most time of my childhood i spend it alone, going to school by my self, cooking and taking care of my self.

I can't go out, it's very hard for me to socialize and hang out with people that i don't know. Sorry, i know maybe you're thinking that is not that bad, but is hard to live when you are your own enemy, the mind is so powerful that you can still go out and not being free.

Today, early i had an anxiety episode, i started feel desperate, mentally tired, tired of feeling that weight on my shoulders, i just started crying, and crying, and crying. I don't know for how much time i can hold living like this.