A few nights ago I had a paranoid schizophrenic episode of psychosis at my best friend's house. He knows I am schizophrenic but has never seen me in psychosis before, only with me when I was delusional or mildly hallucinating a few times over the 10 years I've known him.

We stayed at his and I began hallucinating at 10pm first just auditory, scratching and the floor and walls and banging randomly on surfaces. I told my friend to ring my mum as I started to get scared and he locked the door to stop me from going out if my brain did slip like it did.

But under my paranoia from the hallucinations I became delusional and started to believe my friend was planning to harm me. He locked the door and kept looking at the sink where knives where, it was probably an accidental stare but I took it as if he was going to stab me.

I kept quiet knowing my head plays tricks on me for 10 minutes until I started visually hallucinating, his eyes would flicker red to the rhythm of the scratching, I truly believed he had lured me to his flat, was controlling my hallucinations and he was going to do something really bad.

So I ran to the sink and got a knife, waving it in front of him screaming gibberish at it. (I wasn't going to stab him at any point I just wanted the door unlocked) and he Rugby tackled me. Took the knife off me and we fought for 5 minutes until he overpowered me and waited for my mum.

He text me saying I cut his back and he needs some time away from me. He won't text me back or answer my calls now.

I'm sick of it all, I can feel the pressure in my head and its just building up. My mum doesn't trust me at all now and I've lost my best friend. I don't have anyone left now. Fucked it again.

I don't think there's much I can do right now that won't make the situation worse, anyone got any advice?