is it bad that i want to kill myself just bc of how overwhelmed and utterly destroyed i feel? i feel like i’m in a loop and i have no way out. plus i’ve been doing nothing but living a lie and ruining good things for myself. i don’t have anyone in this family, i spend all my money and i have no desire to do things i say i do. or i’ll forget it. plus i have too many emotions..so truly why do i need to stay alive. i just wanna leave the cowardly way out i guess.