So I'm 36 and I haven't been a follower of Christianity since I was 27, but I still have a fear of going to hell when I die. I've smoked weed a bunch of times with no negative side effects but a handful of times I've had sever panic episodes that for hours and they're all centered on the idea that I'm in some form of hell, or damned, and that when I die, that's when the really bad stuff is going to happen.

Yesterday I tried to get this full spectrum CBD oil (extra strength) and I couldn't get much out of the bottle with my dropper so I tried pouring some into my tea but a bunch came out, so I drank it. I've been informed that if you eat the oil a lot of the CBD gets filtered out by your liver but not the TCH. So I had a full-on attack that lasted 6+ hours and I'm still on edge and having extremely intrusive thoughts today. Basically the gist of the voice in my head (that is supposedly God the Father?) was insulting me and how lukewarm I am (my name is Luke and there's that spat you out of my mouth verse) and my shortcomings. But also claiming that I'm Satan and I'm being punished by being reincarnated over and over and that this entire universe is a simulation just for me and no one is real. And it said that any evidence or logic to disprove this theory was just a purposeful obfuscation of the truth (that I'm Satan and damned). So it said to "Go ahead and get therapy and do research. Your hope is delicious." It said that I needed to convert my girlfriend, who it labeled as God, to Christianity... even though she kind of already believes in it, though doesn't really go to church. It also said that the Bible in my universe was purposefully flawed so that I wouldn't believe it. And the voice said I'd progressively get crazier and the next time we'd speak was when I'm 70.

Anyway... I know this sounds really insane, but it's just sticking in my brain because it's like a self-proving conspiracy theory and any evidence that contradicts it is actually evidence for it. I'm a pretty high-strung individual as it is, but this fear is just more than I can bare. My logical brain tells me that it's just the weed talking... but these few brushes I've had with an entity claiming to be a vengeful god are the worst experiences I've had in my life and I don't want them to become permeant mental scars. Any advice or reassurance would help. Though the voice in my head would say it's all part of this elaborate simulation. ugh