Hey there.. 

I dated a boy for one month as a coping mechanism to get over my dead bf. We met 3 times didnt text much and i idealized him so so so much. I cant stand my bpd and please be kind. 
I ended things today and told him it doesnt work out for me because i suffered way too much under the little attention he gave me. 

Now i feel super lonely and have throwbacks to when my bf died. I feel like my whole life collapsed once again and even if it was good i guess that i dumped the guy im dating rn i feel like im much more lost than i was.

 But tbh i just avoided the whole dead bf topic and tried to ignore it. Help.. Im so so lonely i need to accept and love myself i need to learn so much and i feel like its impossible to ever find a job that i would like or to enjoy traveling or anything like i wanna lay in bed and wait til im dead. 

Any advice? Somebody know this situation and can help me out a lil?..