My SO and I have lived together for 2 years now and things are great for the most part.  We have had some issues that we’ve managed to work through but recently it seems we have reached a wall.  I have anxiety, I’m pretty sensitive, and have a tendency to notice little things that often end up frustrate or bother me.  For example, this morning I realized that my SO had drank my coffee in the fridge and left me with very little for my morning and I had no time to make more.  I had calmly asked that he at least tell me if he is going to drink my coffee so that I can make sure I have enough.  He grunted and moved along.  We were then prepping our food for the day, which is a small lunch and 2 small snacks, because he is on a special diet and I agreed to do this with him for his health.  I had gotten a jump on prepping our lunch and asked him to prep our 2 snacks so I could continue to get ready.  He proceeded to lay a cracker on the counter for me, without putting it in a bag and called it good.  This was only one snack.  At this point I was visibly frustrated and began to cry, because he hadn't listened to me, and what he did wasn't helping because I still had to put it in a container.  The frustration of all the other times I've had to tell him or ask him to do something then rushes over me and I feel defeated.

I know that my SO is absentminded and has issues following through with requests or household chores because of ADHD.  And it seems to be particularly in the morning (I’m not a morning person) or when I've been stressed out that my tolerance for this absentmindedness grows very thin and I regard these actions as being disrespectful or ungrateful.  When I get frustrated, though, my emotions can get the better of me and I sometimes cry and proceed to try to get him to understand why I'm upset.   I know that this is not the best way to handle these situations, but anxiety is a real beast to overcome and it's hard to not spiral out of control once emotions are involved.  It also then causes him to be defensive and will rarely admit he ever did anything wrong and we then rarely ever reach a resolution.

Has anyone else dealt with similar reactions due to anxiety?  And is it unreasonable for me to at least be frustrated at some of these sort of things?  Mindfulness and meditation has helped me deal with frustration at times, but at other times it just sneaks up on me so quickly that I don't know it's happened til it's over.  I don't get this upset at work or even at my family or friends.  I think my expectations are too high for my SO and perhaps this is why I get so upset at these sort of things.  Just at my wits end and need to talk to others about this to figure out how to deal.