I know we all have felt like this — like disappearing is the best option for our body and mind so it could finally rest. And lately I’ve been feeling it like something I cannot shake, like an intrusive thought, but stronger. This year has been hell for me. I changed jobs three times (and overall the changes were not for a bad motive, just opportunities that appeared and I grasped them), but I still feel terribly guilty over things I did not have control of. My self steem is at its lowest. My self confidence is nonexistent and I no longer have the desire to do anything. Not sex. Not reading. Not talking to friends. Not anything that involves getting out of my house. The only thing that keeps me sane is thinking that maybe, just maybe, I can use my medicines to leave me so out of place nothing will hurt me anymore. I want to take Rivotril (clonazepam) everyday so I don’t feel anxious about the most trivial things. I want to stop thinking so bad I’m thinking about letting go of my obsessive need to always control my mind. I don’t know if it makes sense, and I don’t care if it’s right or wrong, I just want my mind to shut up for a few seconds. I never do anything wrong. I don’t drink and don’t indulge in reckless behaviors and I’m a 24 year old woman. I’m tired, just oh so tired, and my mind needs a break. I need a break. I need to not be in control of myself, to let go and stop thinking too much. Have you ever felt this way? What should I do?