i use she/her, FP uses bun/bunself

i was in a vc with bun and two people left without saying anything (they do this all the time)

i was ranting to bun abt how annoying it is every time they do that because it’s a bit triggering and bun told me “do they always have to explain themselves every time they leave?”

i’m not exactly great at reading tones but it wasn’t in a very good one

it was just us two in the call and i was streaming some game i was playing 

i was talking about some stuff that was happening
bun didint respond

thought “oh, bun probably just fell asleep”

check the call: turns out, bun had left hours ago and i didn’t notice. was not a great time 

talked to bun about it at the end of the day and bun  apologized.. but bun was sorry for not understanding where i was coming from?
do my feelings need to be understood to be valid? 

and bun said “oh i guess it saves them the excuse”
i mean.. saying it like that just makes me feel like everytime anyone wants to leave i’m being annoying and they have to come up with reasons 
which is probably true ig

and i hate that i do this.
i hate that i feel like this everytime that happens.
why can’t bun just be with someone who doesn’t go batshit crazy when something happens that should be otherwise normal.
maybe if i just left bun everyone would be better off 
maybe bun could find someone who doesn’t make everyone worry about their safety 24/7

bun told me that “that’s what they signed up for when dating me”

is that true though?

or maybe i’m just doing what i always do and make a big deal of out nothing

i’m so done with myself