hi, i'm not sure how to explain this and i don't even know if this has any importance but if you want to read my report and the following, i'm weak, not physically but as a human, two years ago i was diagnosed with depression, anxiety social among a few other things that were caused by various experiences in my childhood from bulimg to sexual abuse of my own family members, and surpassing all expectations including my family's I got into college, but I can't ignore the feeling that all these problems cause me, i am horrible in any social situation so i have extreme difficulty talking to people, this causes a feeling of extreme loneliness along with the anguish and despondency of depression is from anxiety every day and harder to wake up in the morning , I've been to several psychologists, I've taken several different medicines, I've always tried to "think more positively" in any way, even looking for points of view in philosophy (  none of that nihilism thing that so many people love to romanticize) but this despair, this feeling of non-appropriation, makes me have an extreme desire to kill myself, I don't do it so as not to worry my family and give them more problems, I know that compared to other reports on this reddit mine is nothing much, but I wanted to ask if that's it, I'm just really weak for how many people say "not knowing how to live right"?  Just another person from this shitty generation who doesn't know how to measure their problems?  I just don't know