Maybe if there was no one who expected me to stay here and be in their life I wouldn’t have to be constantly wondering who I am and why I hate myself so much. Sometimes when it gets really bad I imagine people I care about dying so I have a “good enough” reason to kill myself. I am very apathetic to life and living I just don’t find it very appealing. When I think of myself I think of a tiny little ant, a pathetic little miserable bug. so annoying