Because I've tried. Too many times. Been depressed since 11 and it always comes back. I used to have hope for the future. I tried to be happy and to accept myself. But now I'm  left this shell of this distant person I don't even recognise anymore. I don't dream of things getting better anymore and being happy. Because I know deep down it won't. I dream of the day I'm no longer able to wake up and try again.