I hate myself, I feel suffocated at school, I hate my household. I feel so fed up with everything, I don’t see a reason to get out of bed at the morning and no reason to get out to have fun. In school the amount of fake friends and shit talking is making me sick to my stomach. And yesterday I started cutting myself even tho I told my self that I would stop and I did for a couple of years but I couldn’t. It didn’t even hurt and I didn’t feel anything ANYTHING, now it stings tho. Yesterday I also ate several sleeping pills in hopes of sth but I just got a stomachache and not even a good night sleep. I am so disappointed in myself because I thought I became better and I did… but then why am I sad? Why am I suffering? Why am I like this? When before yesterday I was cry laughing? And now I think it’s pathetic? I just wish I could stop time and relax without a worry in the world and delete my whole existing. And even if I did I’m sure my family would find a way to blame me for that lol