A while back I had this idea in my head, what if every time you spoke to your family you thought about them dying or murdering them? That would be horrible. Then I started ruminating on that and now every time I talk to them I feel like the thought is pulling me in! I remember how horrible it would be to think that thought and in doing so I think it! Not every time, but I feel like it’s just going to get worse and worse until I’m robbed of my family because of my own scary thoughts. I love my family so much. They’re all I have and this fucking thought is ruining that for me I fucking hate it and I want to be free of this pain. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA