I decided to smoke some pot last night and i had a wonderful experience. For the first time in a long time i felt... normal. Like the depressive cloud i had been under was lifted. I looked around my room and everything was so normal and real. I felt like i lost my BPD and i was just like anyone else. I started crying, it was so hard for me to handle. For once i felt like i was in control of who i am. Anyone else like this?