i feel awful. why don't my meds work? im so bored. i feel empty. im tired of not doing my schoolwork. tired of having to keep up with relationships. tired of trying to look happy. i dont think my boyfriend loves me anymore. i want to get back to cutting myself. no motivation to work on drumming. i have auditions in a few weeks, i can't bring myself to practice. im not going to make the instrument i want. im so young and already i feel like my life is not going to go anywhere. what am i going to do in the future? will i always feel like this? i want to die, but i can't disappoint everyone in my life like that. i dont want to cause anyone any more pain. what is this empty feeling? i want to feel whole again. i feel empty. when will this feeling leave.