I have BPD and suspect my friend may have it too. We’ve been friends for years but lost contact for some time. She has a history of drinking to cope and refuses my suggestions of therapy or psychiatric help despite how much it has helped me. I feel lost. 

This happened Saturday night and is still bothering me. 

We had a great day together with her mom and stepdad at the beach. They bought us dinner, drove us around and set us up to stay with a family friend on the beach. 

My friend who I’ll call Ally, was set on going out that night. She invited a couple guy friends. When we got there she had to use the bathroom so we walked in together, I held her hand through a huge crowd of people and she wanted to stop and get a drink at the bar. I bought her drink, I got a water and I held her hand as we went back upstairs. 

She was angry the bartender didn’t acknowledge us for several minutes. Then a guy approached me while I held her hand leading her through the crowd and I dismissed him and kept walking. 

When we got upstairs to join her friends, she started going off how all these guys were staring at me, looking me up and down and didn’t give her an ounce of attention. She said “it makes me hate myself.” 

I told her I wasn’t there for guys, I was there for her. To have fun with her. She kept going on saying it made her feel so ugly compared to me and that it happens everywhere we go. I was speechless. It came out of nowhere. She kept saying how she just hated herself. 

Two guys came up to me and her. At this point she was kind of ignoring me because she was in a mood. I was talking to this kid and the other guy soon left her and came and joined us, telling me she wouldn’t make eye contact with him and that she said she was having a bad night and wasn’t in the mood. 

We haven’t spoken since then. I think she’s still angry at me but I still don’t understand what I did because it came out of the blue. We had an amazing day swimming and talking and she had just been telling me how glad she was we were friends. I’m really hurt by the behavior because I just wanted to have fun with my girlfriend and tried to look out for her and she just turned against me. 

What should I say or do? Has anyone experienced anything like this before? Thanks in advance ❤️