Often times I get upset about things people say or do. Not upset like 'angry' but hurt by what I perceive to be distance appearing between me and someone else and I struggle to rationalize it. I ask myself 'what did I do' to push them away. It happened frequently with members of the opposite sex, especially since I've been married. It makes me wonder if people only hung around me because they thought I could offer them something. 

I was talking with a girlfriend of mine the other day and we discussed a mutual guy friend who told me he liked me before I got married. I told him I cared about him but I didn't feel the same way. Ever since then to other friends, he cuts me down. Makes me seem like at terrible person and I'm so hurt by this. I thought we were closer. I thought we were friends...

That's when my girlfriend said "It isn't about you..." when I was explaining how I feel on this side of the situation. I'm not a selfish person by nature but why am I not entitled to how someone else's actions make me feel? Why don't I get to react to them? Why aren't my feelings valid, just because I said 'no'?

Am I being unreasonable to be hurt? Obviously things can't stay the same but I don't understand the switch. It wasn't a secret, I was engaged and he knew about it. Why am I not allowed to have a presence in this situation that he caused? I have very strong feelings like this. I would want us to be friends but I understand that's not likely in this situation. I just feel like it's my responsibility to fix it somehow??? It makes me feel like it's not about me but I'm responsible for cleaning up the mess it's made, if that makes sense...

