I have anxiety and sometimes I definitely speak from my anxiety and not myself. I have had a lot of bad shit happening lately and haven’t been good at my meds, so I am not in my best place. 

Yesterday, I talked with a coworker who I previously “dated”. Ever since we decided not to see each other outside of work, I have kept quite a distance because 1. He did and said some weird stuff and 2. I was definitely still hurt by what happened. 

After talking, I just word vomited some work gossip and I don’t know why. Some of it was stuff he can’t know because of his position, so it was bad. He basically said you have to stop and leave and I am going to pretend I didn’t hear that. It was so fucking dumb you all I can’t even tell you. There was no reason for me to do that and before this, I had been REALLY proud of how I had cut him off/not let him know how bothered I was when we “ended”. 

So…. I have to see him again today. And I had to move on with my life and not think about it every second. How can I get over it? I need to forgive myself and let it go.