I've been in a bad place recently. It seems exacerbated by my job. I feel like while I am there is dissociate a lot, have a lot of self harm impulses and suicidal thoughts.  Yesterday  (Sunday) I started to feel a little better, like I was coming back. Now, I am just terrified that as soon as I sit in that chair and stare at that screen I am going to go right back to where I was. But I have to work. I only have 1.5 days of time off left until October and I'm going to need it for when I start therapy in 9 days.

Does anyone else have this issue? Any advice? I know some are going to say to get a new job, but I've done this one for so long I'm not sure I could do anything else, especially not for what they're paying me now.

Ugh. I feel so pathetic.