I have been in and out of the rocky relationship after rocky relationship since I was 11 years old. Every single one of them is toxic. It mainly me lovely them more than myself and then realizing that all my efforts are wasted and then after 6 months to a year of being with someone I just ghost them like they never even happened and then I'm the bad guy cause I left without a thought.  I don't know who I am and I'm not sure I ever will. I can't say I completely take on others' personalities but I definitely morph into what I think people want to be around which makes knowing who I am more confused but I don't know how to not do that. Help? I feel like I'm going insane.