I,  like many of you, enter a state of distress when dealing with certain emotions.  For me,  it's anger and shame.  If I don't really control my mind when these emotions are triggered I will fall.  It takes a lot of effort on my part and with the occasional slip,  I do pretty well. 

At work,  I work with a bunch of dudes (I am female). We poke fun at each other constantly. It's what we do but it's not persistant.  One shot every few days sort of deal,  especially if it's well timed.  I have *no* problem with that because it's minor,  and I work hard to not let it get big.  I find it great practice. Lately however a guy at work has taken to trying to set me off on purpose.  I've snapped a few times in the past but nothing major. But he enjoys "instigating"  and pushing peoples buttons,  particularly mine because I do get upset.  It's gotten to the point where every time he opens his mouth,  it's in an attempt to annoy me and set me off.  When I say stop angerly,  or tell him to bug off,  he gets worse cause he's seeing anger.  If I ignore him,  he keeps going.  

The issue is coming from the fact that I can't keep this all in check anymore.  I don't have time to deal with my emotions before he triggers me again.  I am emotionally and mentally exhausted from dealing with the distress it's causing me. I come home at night and am just a ball of stress. As soon as I get to work and he starts,  my mood shoots and I spend the entire day near tears from trying to work through the rage I have that he alone is causing.  I am close to physically harming him or myself from trying to deal with this.  

I decided I need to pull him aside and try to talk to him.  He's not always this bad and I hope he'll hear me out.  But the logic in all of this and *why* he needs to stop all stems from my BPD. I don't want to have that conversation with him. I quietly asked a guy at work how to approach him and he said to just be calm and in a good mood but as *soon* as I see him he'll start and trying to talk serious to someone regarding this is going to distress me as it is so that's near impossible.  


I'm just looking for some advice on how to show him that it's not just me saying "stop it"  but me saying "you are causing me harm by persisting" 

Thanks dudes