My bf/fp is with me most of the time, yet I never feel like we spend time together. Maybe because it's not personal time? It's usually errands? Anyways.. so we were together all day, while he went to go to job interviews, I went to run errands. We get home and he leaves to let our friend's dog out. I started to get a bit annoyed when he came back with their dog asking for a trash bag so the dog didn't get wet. He came back and was super ticked because the part for his truck was canceled (out of stock) and so I was taking in that anger. It felt like he was taking it out on me..but he wasn't, in my rational mind. He was just talking angrily. It was never directed at me. His friend calls that he was gonna take him to talk to this person at this job he's trying to get. So he left again, and I started to get very annoyed and depressed. He came back again, upset because the trip got them nowhere in this job situation. (They seem to be yanking him around.) So he grabbed some beers and said he was going to the same friend's house. Asked if it was okay, but I was really upset by that point. Just kept my thoughts to myself because I knew they were irrational. Thoughts like "guess my feelings don't matter." And just some all around self loathing statements. He finally leaves and I just melt down. Crying, I'm depressed af. I'm having intrusive thoughts. Ideation. (Not planning on anything for future reference, they're just kinda..there.) I've only been dealing with full blown symptoms for a few months now and I'm so overwhelmed with how strong my emotions are. They were already intense as it was before everything became unmanageable due to an ex. How do I cope? I always want him to go. He needs time away from me. But how do I voice what I need.. if I have no clue what it is? Coping skills? Anything? I'm completely miserable..