I feel less depressed and more happy. I feel less anxiety  but it's still there. The paranoia is still there but the abilify helps me recognize it. I've been on abilify for 3 years. I have only been on celexa for a few months. I started at a half dose. Now I take the full dose. 

I'm thinking of taking a class. I feel much more optimistic. The only issue is that I think it causes me to laugh randomly. That is uncomfortable sometimes. I'm smiling much more too. It's hard not to right now. I feel in balance more. I'm just worried because at first my psychiatrist was hesitant to prescribe me an antidepressant. A different dr prescribed me celexa. I think its helping though. 

I'm less upset about certain things. I feel more hopeful. I want to go out and meet new people. I want to write again. I'm cutting certain people out of my life. 

I think I'm going to start better habits. I'm not going to use harmful substances again. I'm going to try to quit nicotine. I'm not going to drink again. I will eat better too. I will drink more water. I'm pretty sure I don't drink enough. I will be more helpful. I will not swear as much. I will try not to have angry outbursts. I just feel like I can do those things. I'm not even sure I will need medication in the future. It sure helps though. I will do more meditation and mindfulness as well. I wont let myself go down paranoia rabbitholes. I sometimes let myself do that because it's the only way I have known for so long. I need to cut ties with harmful spiritual thoughts too. I became quite addicted to the euphoria those bring and I would seek them out by going off my meds and smoking tons of weed. I also need to try to ground myself. That's going to be hard though because I sometimes dont realize when I'm not grounded. I also need to be kind to myself.