It's hell here. When the episode starts, my body goes into this fire. It feels like hell. My arms have so many bruises. My skull has bruises. There are scratches up my legs- I am destroying my body.  I am either numb or in pain or I'm a bed of roses. These last three days have felt impossible. I am so alone. I'm married, a year and a half in, and I didn't know I had BPD until the triggers manifested in my relationship. I'm always splitting here. I am either loved or unloved. I am either in love or loathing. I am either trapped or lost. 

I am struggling with my faith as a result of this BPD thing. It's miserable. There is no peace here.