I have no proper consultation with a professional because I don't have access to them but I have been feeling anxious and conflicted for more than a year now. I have never felt like this when I was younger. Lately, I have been getting overwhelmed almost everyday by different things that are happening and the things that I need to do (like requirements or chores) and stuff I need to know or review. I also have a hard time to express my thoughts and myself because it only makes me even more anxious especially when I get to share with people I'm not that close with. When I overthink and when I get anxious which happens most of the time, my body tends to shake and my heart beats like crazy, nobody knows this. I have shared that to a few and only for a rare circumstances but it usually happens to me. I don't know where else I could say these because everyone around me also has a problem and I already tried to, subtly, they try to cheer me up and I am thankful for that but I am still like this and I can't keep on sharing how tired and unmotivated I am because it can exhaust the people around me. No matter how hard I try, I think I get worse everyday. I let the days pass by. Doing things without being able to feel or understand them that well. I try different things to cope with what I am feeling hoping I'll get better and be more relaxed and open. I have been having *those* thoughts lately and I am also scared because I have never had *those* thought about my life except for now. I kept on thinking what would happen if it ended but I am also scared. I am trying ways to prevent *those* thoughts but I am not successful so far.

If anyone ever read this thank you. I hope I can read others' thoughts too though or really just anything. Thanks.