My anxiety is really severe at the minute and I feel like I'm verging on a breakdown. 

I wake up and the anxiety is already there. The headaches, the chest pains, that feeling of absolute dread all over my body. Then my mind starts thinking and catastrophising, making me believe the worst and that I have ruined my life. It's constantly there and controlling my life. I can't watch TV without it being triggered and going out is really tough. I can't stop crying. I've told the people closest to me and they say things like "you've got nothing to worry about", "just stop worrying", "will you just cheer up", "you're making yourself unwell" and "I'm fed up of this". 

Today is my birthday and I just want to be left alone. I'm receiving so many nice cards, presents, and messages which I'm really grateful for. But I fear I'm just coming across ungrateful because my mind genuinely will not let me feel happiness. It's so upsetting because this is my favourite time of year and I love celebrating my birthday/Christmas. But it's all ruined by this stupid condition. I don't know what to do. I've got a self-help book for negative thoughts but the anxiety is too strong. I've got a doctor's appointment but it's not for another 2 weeks. I suppose I could look at restarting my antidepressants which helped massively when I was on them (weaned off of them 4 months ago). But it's likely that the symptoms will get worse and ruin my birthday even more. I just don't know what to do. 😞