So I’m visiting my step brother for Easter and we went out to a couple bars last night, and we ended up getting some late night food after the bars closed. We met these two girls there, and my brother and one girl really hit it off in their own way - they started making out and exchanged numbers, FWB kind of stuff that he’s into. But her friend was so chill, and our families both come from Russia (I’m 1/4 Russian, and know a fair bit about the culture). She was fiery and bold - she semi jokingly squirted ketchup all over my stepbro’s shirt because she was triggered he was trying so hard to hook up with her friend, and kept threatening to do it again when he got close to her, it was hilarious, but ultimately we all had a lot of fun with each other. She and I spent like three hours talking and I asked her if I could kiss her a couple times, and she got more comfortable engaging me physically (non-sexual touching) as the night went on. Before we parted ways, she gave me her number and we talked about meeting tomorrow for lunch or something. We kissed each other on the cheek and got into our Ubers . I think she was into me, judging by the conversation and how we would just stare into each others eyes, touch each others hands, and her apprehensiveness to just take it to a sexual level after just meeting me. Also I could imagine she didn’t want it to evolve further because I’m going home across the country Monday.
My problem is I can’t get her out of my head. I’m so unbelievably infatuated with her, and it’s making me sad that even if we do meet, nothing more will probably happen because of our distance/the [b]impossibility[/b] of having an LDR as a borderline personality... her smile is engrained in my mind and I just miss that feeling I got as we gazed into each others eyes in silence. I haven’t felt this way in a while because I’ve been so preoccupied with school and work I haven’t really been exposed to many social situations where I could get to know someone like this. I spent the day with my family, daydreaming about what a relationship would be like with her, which ultimately wasn’t fair to them because it made me irritable knowing it was exactly that - a dream.
TLDR; I met a girl and I’m having some intense idealization over being with her, and I’m sad and just needed to get it out somewhere