I (23F) have the hardest time giving my partner (25M) space when he asks for it when I have an episode. Mainly this is because we're long distance, I have a phone in my hand, and I just keep going and going and don't stop either badgering him or carrying on the conversation even if it's just one-sided. 

I thought I was better equipped for this. I'd had a plan set in place. He asked me to put down my phone and I ignored his request, instead I dug deeper and hurt him more. I just felt like I couldn't stop and it was so impulsive and compulsive and I just can't explain it (well, I might not even have to, you guys probably understand)

Either way, I think the thing that triggers me is that when he says he needs space, I'm no longer in control of the situation. He's taken control (for good reason, too) and I feel like I'm being left/abandoned, even though the rational part of my brain *knows* this.

The strange thing is, the largest hurdle seems to be the distance. We're both extremely stressed out trying to find a place to live and he's working on getting a job so that my mental health will improve. We have rational, reasonable discussions in person, but over the phone/text it's like a whole different world and I just want to improve so that I don't ruin this anymore. I want us to make it so that we can live together. It's almost like object permanence with a child. I can't see him when I'm not with him when he wants space, therefore he's abandoned me, but when we take space in real life apart from each other (doing different things on our own but still in the same room) it's like I know he's there and I can see him. 

Thankfully I start a DBT group next month which I'm just super excited for so I can learn some more tools to help with my impulsivity and  compulsiveness when it comes to not respecting people's boundaries. 

Please help me. I'm grateful for any advice you have.