I did one presentation a few weeks ago on 40mg of propanolol and 60mg XR. I fucking bombed it. I know it could have been worse - I’m not even joking, I probably would have passed out right there or cried or both if it weren’t for the beta blockers. 

But the eye contact, holy shit. I can’t look at them. I just can’t. I get points knocked off for that even though this is a low tier class, where supposedly this is everyone’s first time speaking in front of an audience. And we’re supposed to memorize a good 90% of it too, which I can’t either because I go brain dead when I’m up there. This isn’t fair. 

I’m down to an 80% in this class already. My mentality is if I fail this I’m dropping out and forgetting about my major. Like fuck it, I’ll just go work in a factory.