I was in a relationship for around 4 years with someone who also has/had bpd. for the first 3 we were only friends but as you can imagine, we were extremely close. they were my fp always and they said i was to. after living together for one day we started dating. and it was all i ever wanted. things were extremely hard as far as the challenges we faced but i’ve never felt so loved unconditionally. it was like no matter what we always had each other and we really understood each other and how we reacted to things. after almost a year we broke up. i initiated it. it’s been 4 months since me and this person have talked and i feel like i am literally dying. it’s like even when we broke up we were still friends so it never felt like i lost them and honestly it felt like i was never going to lose them. the rust felt so deep and so safe. and now i have been abandoned by the one person i never thought would leave me, even tho i left first? i feel like i have no right to be upset but honestly i am completely devastated. it feels like half of me is missing. i’ve reached out like 3 times and they just don’t engage at all. it’s devastating. i literally don’t know what to do