A good friend of mine tonight was beating herself up saying she wasn't a good at singing when she's really great at it. I laughed and told her to shut the fuck up in, what I thought, was a joking tone. She wasn't bothered but another person in the conversation told me it was rude. And now that I think about it he was right. And I realize that I have a problem with telling people to fuck off or shut up as a "joke" but I come across as an asshole and I hate myself for it. I've been called violent, rude, and aggressive because of it. I feel like I should stay silent and observe more to learn how to interact peacefully. I thought I was doing it alright but I got a lot to learn. I'm an asshole.