Recently i've been overthinking and regretting many things. And since few weeks i dont know who am i. Intrusive thoughts keep coming to my mind and i overthing about them again like ''did i mean it? is it my real personality ? am i really that disgusting?'' its happening thousand of times a day. Im crying all day, and start to regret again. I see dreams that i regret afterwards, and hate myself again. My body feels like im in a cage, surrounded by bad thoughts. I ensured myself that i will never be happy because i fucked up my whole life, consequences of being a disgusting person... I really hate myself, i will never change, i will remain a disgusting trash. I hate my mind and want to die, but only thing that keeps me alive is that little hope for better days. I dont know what i can do for myself anymore. This shit feels like im ''unpersonalizing'' myself... I just want to be happy like other people do but i know i dont deserve that since i was the one who ruined my own life. Oh god please help me