I need ideas, healthy coping mechanism. I usually turn to things that aren’t good! In the past year I’ve been really trying to work on myself the year prior I hit rock bottom was drinking heavily regularly/daily and self harming really really bad I had a bit of an awakening mentally spiritually whatever and have been trying my hardest to better myself despite my steady decline ( I will be making an appointment to speak to a professional soon ) I stopped drinking and only recently have gone out with my friends occasionally and it’s never coping or escaping necessarily and I have been clean from self harm a little over a year now I believe but lately the feelings of “this is the only way to make the inside pain go away” have come back it’s hard to sleep ( I explain more in my past post if you go to my profile if you’re curious ) I use weed now as my “healthy” coping although I’m aware it’s arguably not good or healthy but it helps when I have these thoughts it calms me and allows me to see my thoughts in a more organized perspective I guess plus it helps me sleep and sleeping is my biggest problem there’s nothing to distract me I’m alone with my thoughts and it’s hell and right now it’s almost 3am and I’m just really going through it I have no weed ( I’m not a huge smoker at all usually just “socially” until recent but I’ve run out ) I have terrible thoughts about harming I won’t nor am I unsafe fully I think at least if of right now but if things get any worse I am worried which is why I want to know what I can’t do to help I would go for a walk but I’m convinced I’m being followed by bad things the second I step outside ( like when I take my dog out to pee ) I feel dread in my chest and I’m convinced I see figures it’s a terrible feeling so a walk isn’t an option sadly nor is weed at this moment 

Anyways long rant shortened I just want good ideas for getting through times like these when I don’t trust anyone I think I’m being followed I feel hunted and played and everything from vision and hearing feels far away and distant like I’m experiencing a lag but I’m aware of it (???does that make sense)