Being gay, I have scared off many guy friend who thought I was making a move when I wasn’t. But it left me scarred. 

I don’t know when to hug someone. Or how close we have to be fore it to be okay. I don’t get if I am even allowed to hug a straight man, or if it’s wrong. 

It’s extended into all aspects now. I’m afraid to hug. I feel dirty with a kiss on the cheek. I feel hated for hand shakes. 

I am so depressed that my life and bed are lonely, but I know it’s safe that way. Lonely is all I’ve ever known.