All I want is for her to be able to understand me better. I think we should understand what we need from each other and have the mental vocabulary to articulate that to each other.

She doesn't believe in therapy, so when I delicately raised the possibility of joint therapy, she got violently defensive. She thinks that this is all my problem and that she is not responsible for anything.

She throws furious fits when I imply that she doesn't care or that she isn't trying to help, but she fails to come up with examples of her actually helping. I think she is being selfish. I feel like an inconvenience to her.

The compromise we came to is that if I do solo therapy first and still think we need "couples therapy", then she will think about it. But her crossed arms and distant expression tells me that she doesn't mean that.

I'm scared about when that time comes, which it will. She must be open to working with me, or this relationship cannot work.