I got attached to someone who I really connected to. We texted for a week, followed by a very intense period of multiple long phone calls a day, skyping for 7 hours until 6am when we both fell asleep, and meeting in person where I wound up staying with him a full 48 hours. A few days after getting back home his mood seemed to shift, I spent the afternoon with him where he was a little off/grumpy. At the end of the day he told me he didn’t want me to spend the night. Didn’t hear from him the next day, very little the second day, nothing on the third. By the fourth day after two panic attacks I reached out to ask what was up with this shift in communication and he blew up at me and called me clingy (I called three times, three hours apart). 

During the breakup talk he revealed he has a drinking problem and was drunk during the first two weeks (when we were both being vulnerable) and that this was how he was normally. He then proceeded to get mad that I ‘couldn’t wait three months before I started getting clingy”. Told me I didn’t talk enough when we were together, etc. I told him I had no idea he had a drinking problem and that this is the worst my anxiety gets. He obviously didn’t believe that. I asked if he wanted to start over so I could get to know this version of him and he said no and hung up. 

I’m very confused and hurt. I know I wasn’t being clingy or crazy and that it was deflection on his part. All I want is that connection back. I’m tired of getting attached to people and having them leave. I want to have a conversation with him, but its been a week since he broke things off with no communication. I know it wouldnt be healthy. But I cant stop wanting that connection again. Do I reach out?