I've been an anxious person my entire life, but it's become worse since april of 2020. I've developed a panic disorder, and I've had very frequent and very long panic attacks for months. I've been getting a loooot better, and recently I almost felt like a normal person.

However, my situation has gotten worse suddenly since this monday. I instantly booked multiple appointments (doctor, therapist, etc) and I am doing all that is in my power to get better. But I'm not all-powerful: since monday, I've been managing during the day but I have terrible panic attacks every night that wake me up; and when they happen, I'm unable to handle them alone. Everytime, I try to calm myself for like half an hour, an hour, but when I panic I just need someone to talk to. So I either wake my boyfriend up (we live together), or call my mother (I have nobody else that I can bother at night).

I feel extremely bad for fucking up their sleep schedules because of my poor mental health. My mother I know is fine with it, she seems to have an infinite pool of motherly love available. My boyfriend always helps me too, but I can tell it's taking a toll on him. He has never felt anxious in his life, so he doesn't really know what it feels like. For almost a year, he's had to help me all the time with my anxiety, and I feel like I can't do anything for him since he never seems to need my help.

What can I do to become less of a burden for him? I already always tell him how grateful I am for his help, and I try not to talk about my anxiety unless I'm in crisis (if I did not limit myself, I would be talking about it all the time...).
I'd be grateful for any advice.

TLDR; my bf has to deal with me getting panic attacks all the time, and it's ruining both of our sleep schedules. He doesn't deserve to be weighed down by me all the time. What can I do?