text: Oh Diane… | dear jesus
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  by Whitney | January 30, 2009 · 7:20 pm
  Oh Diane…
  I'm a fairly awkward person. And like most people (I think) I'm even more awkward added on top of my original awkward when I'm talking to a fella I find attractive. Eventually I get over this, but those initial stages are painful. I thought this might change when I got married since I'm tied down and all, but it turns out that being married is pretty much just like living together (go figure) and that I'll probably continue to be awkward. Bummer.
  Take, for instance, this exchange that happened about three minutes ago:
  Me (walking to the back window of the cafe – where the bathroom is – in time to see The Attractive Mark Miller Toyota Employee walking to the window): Oh, hi.
  The Attractive Mark Miller Toyota Employee: Woah! hi! You must be psychic or something!
  Me: Or at least my bladder is! har har!
  The Attractive Mark Miller Toyota Employee: Can I have a coffee?
  Me: Sure. (I get him a coffee)
  Me: Alright. I'm going to go poop now! har har!
  So this brings me to my point: I love Diane Keaton.
  Sure, she's tapped into the over-fifty market, successfully losing my interest, but she has this lovable awkward charm that I often wish I possessed. She's classy and silly at the same time! She's amazing.
  And talking to someone like Woody Allen, I would be all a-flutter, too. What with that tiny, balding head, and those big square glasses.
  I love her so much. So why why why why why did she make Mad Money?
  (they mean green money)
  5 responses to "Oh Diane…"
  did you see the oscars that time when she went up to present some award and was obviously on drugs?
  For your information Diane has never been on drugs…you don't know her at all.
  diane opened up to me once and told me she does drugs. but only sometimes. and rarely at award shows.
  Drugs just make Diane cooler.
  i'm not saying illegal drugs. all i know is she came out to present and was totally spacey. she just kept laughing, she couldnt get through her lines and made the weirdest jokes. she could have just been on pain killers.