text: Ok growing a little impatient... - JustMommies Message Boards
  JustMommies Message Boards » Grief and Loss » Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss » TTC after recurrent loss » Ok growing a little impatient...
  So my RE gave me Provera to bring on AF. i am almost done with it...i think I only have 2 days left of the 10 day supply. the nurse told me I could start AF anywhere from 3 days into taking the med or 2 weeks after stopping the med....I was so thinking I would start right away and be on my way into a new cycle and get pg this next O time...right, well no sign of Af yet (although i am a bit bloated) and I'm already impatient. Something tells me this is going to be a looong cycle
  Maybe because Raven's DD is coming I'm feeling more of a need to be pg ASAP? I don't know...I had such a strange dream about ehr last night. i dreamt I gave birth to her but I was made to give her away to my cousin and was told the baby was hers. well when she was 3 or 4 I wanted her back and so I had to call this huge meeting and prove she was mine and Dh's by having paternity tests done. She was crying and I felt bad trying to take her away from the people she thought were her parents but at the same time I wanted her back so bad...
  Some of you may know this about me but I'm really big on dreams, their interpretations, and a lot of times I feel they are often visions of some sort for me since I swear some of my dreams come true...right down to the most minut details. So i can get preoccupied with trying to figure out what they mean. I think being around so many pg people lately may have spurred this dream on...like the feeling of "where's my baby" since everyone else seems to have one...if hat makes sense? that and also perhaps my mourning her and wanting her is conflicting with my belief that she's in heaven and safe...like I'm trying to pull her back here with me instead of leaving her in peace up there??? i don't know...just random thoughts i suppose...
  Just wanted to complain/vent/talk because I'm holding a pity party for one right now...
  September 6th, 2006, 08:35 AM
  With all the stress you've been under lately with the follow up appointment, the lawsuit stuff, buying a house, and changing jobs, that may be holding up AF. Try to find ways to release your tension throughout the day - deep breathing, yoga stretches, a long walk. I know it's hard when you have so much going on, but not only will it be good for bringing on AF, you'll be healthier overall. And we're always here for you, so come let out all your worries and stresses to us so you can relax.
  September 6th, 2006, 10:26 AM
  Let me just say this loudly..."COME ON AF, Do your thing and be gone for 40 weeks!" I told you in a PM but I'll say it again...I'm desperate to get a BFP this month because I'm so scared of the heartache I will feel as my due date of 9/23 approaches. But in my heart, I don't think it's going to happen. One of the few things that comforts me is to know that I have you and our friends here to prop me up.
  So just know that I'm here for you and we all love and care for you.
  I remember you telling me that due dates do strange things to us back when my first one was just passing. I wonder if your dream falls into that category.
  I'm sure if must be really hard for everyone with a whole bunch of suddenly pg people on the board too, and I know that everyone of us who is pg totally understands that. Even if we're happy for others, it still doesn't ease the heartache for ourselves and our babies.
  I hope af gets her act together and shows up soon, so your cycle can start. Hopefully it will be the last one for awhile!
  September 7th, 2006, 09:15 AM
  Kathryn- I am so dumb sometimes...i didn't even think about stress keeping her at bay! You are so right! So guess where I'm headed...the GYM! Gotta release some tension...and I'm in another wedding tomorrow (I was just in one a couple weeks ago) so i scheduled myself a mani, pedi, and facial at this little place that I love near my home. great prices