text: I have been a fan of Kiiroo's products for years now. While that might seem like a biased critique since I have been on occasion blogging for them for some years now, my trying to build a sex educator brand based on integrity would not allow me to continue writing for them if I didn't have good reason to be a fan.
  One of the reasons I am a fan is because when there is a void in their product line, at some point they do fill it. Such as just as I was about to ask them why they had so many male strokers with the external of a vagina, Kiiroo introduced a stroker with the external of a butt. Thereby expanding their potential clientele to include gay male tops and lovers of anal sex of any sexual orientation.
  Another suggestion I was going to make was if they could make a thrusting dildo. Possibly by compacting the technology to make the Keon into a dildo. Well, before I got around to sending that email, I was given the attachments needed to turn my Keon into their Keon Sex Machine.
  The Keon Sex Machine comes with a Keon (which I already own), plus a vacuum lock dildo and a dildo adapter.
  The video tutorial to explain how to put it all together can be found at: https://vimeo.com/752579016
  Since the size, shape, and/or color of the dildo that comes with the Keon Sex Machine might not be your preferred one, know that the dildo adapter can actually work with most dildos with a vacuum lock. The exception would be those vacuum lock dildos that also have balls that would make the dildo exceed the diameter of the Keon.
  I posted a NSFW video on my Twitter to show the Keon Sex Machine in action.
  Ever since I saw #MykeGlory on @FeelXvideosXXX in the background video, I wanted to feel his thrusts inside me.
  Now that @Kiiroo has a dildo & adapter to turn the Keon into a #SexMachine, I finally did. You'll see it felt so good, I came a good deal before the video was done. pic.twitter.com/CgH3LQkI3D
  — LeNair Xavier (@LeNair_X) November 8, 2022
  Like I said in the tweet, when I discovered that video on FeelXVideos, I wanted something to put in my butt to simulate Myke Glory's thrusts. At first I settled for getting off by living vicariously through his penis as the Keon moved in sync with him. But the Keon Sex Machine now gives me exactly what I want in my fantasies of him. In fact, it thrilled me so much that while I normally can hold my orgasm and ejaculation until the end of the scene, the Sex Machine thrusted into me so good that the dildo hit my prostate as I was stroking my penis and made me come before the scene ended.
  For the record, I'm someone who when I bottom, if I ejaculate, I can still take getting penetrated until my partner stops. So know that the ending of the video was just for the sake of ending the video. Since then, even after coming I've still let the Keon Sex Machine thrust into me until the guy penetrating is done.
  Of course as with most sex toys, there is a downside to report. That downside being that the Keon is round, so it might be hard to hold down while it thrusts. This is a minor downside that I believe can be remedied by purchasing either the table clamp or neck strap accessory for the Keon. Perhaps Kiiroo will soon create something like more of a holder that the Keon can stay in place in. Other than that, I immensely enjoy my Keon more than I thought possible.
  With that said, I wholehearted advise purchasing the Keon Sex Machine. For it is definitely as what the promos are saying---a game changer. For yes, sex machines with thrusting dildos have been around for awhile now. But not until now, THANKS to Kiiroo is there a sex machine that is completely interactive through connections with other Kiiroo products or interactive porn.
  Now, if you'll excuse me, this has put me in the mood for another masturbation session with my Keon Sex Machine.
  at November 14, 2022 No comments:
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  Labels: anal play, anal toys, interactive toys, Kiiroo, male stroker, masturbation, penile stimulation, sex toy review, sex toys
  Thursday, October 6, 2022
  Pleasure Product Review: Arcwave Voy
  At a training session on their products, the kind folks at Wowtech allowed my co-workers and myself to choose a product. I chose their male masturbator, Voy.
  What I learned from that training is that unlike other male masturbators, Voy allows for EIGHT(8) levels of tightness. Of course, that depends on preference, but even more so on one's phallic girth. Plus, also unlike other sleeves, the Voy's sleeve is made of silicone, which allows it to be more durable (when used with water-based lubes), and even shareable (if that's your kink).
  Voy also allows for quite discreet storage and unnoticeable placement. For when closed (as in the 2nd pic), it can easily be mistaken for either a Bluetooth speaker or a professional camera lens.
  With the Voy's sleeve being made of silicone, it is very easy to clean. All you need is any body-safe soap or toy cleaner. However, if you clean the sleeve by removing it from its holder, be sure to set the tightness adjuster to its lowest setting for easy removal and placement back into the holder.
  The main draw to any sex toy review about a male stroker is the sensation. Well, the texture of the sleeve being ridges is one of the most common, but still pleasing sensations to the penis. Add to that how you can change how close against your penis those ridges are with a simple turn of the toy, even changing up during a masturbation session, and you have a male stroker that can blow your mind.
  I know because I, someone who usually plays with a sex toy, gets off, washes it, then never plays with it again for awhile, this time went back to it...for a few consecutive days.
  Lastly, at the moment, the price point for a stroker does seem pretty high. However, compared to the overrated Fleshlight, with the Voy, you are paying about maybe $20 more for a male stroker that will 1)last you longer because of it being made with better material (silicone) and; 2)that you can actually adjust, thereby create a variation in sensation during a masturbation session. Variation you cannot get while masturbating with a Fleshlight.
  With that high rating for a Voy, be sure to get yours soon.
  at October 06, 2022 No comments:
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  Labels: male stroker, masturbation, penile stimulation, sex toy review, sex toys, Wowtech
  Thursday, September 15, 2022
  "You Like That Ni**er D*ck?"...Yes, He Said THAT!
  Recently, I went to the bathroom in a gay bar. There were 2 guys in there having sex. In spite of this, I proceeded to take my piss at a urinal. As that's somewhat of commonality in this space.
  The bottom was a Latino, whom I knew. The top was light-skinned, but being a lousy judge of ethnicity, I could not be sure what his ethnicity was.
  My peripheral vision saw a black male suddenly come into the bathroom. He was not my favorite person since I already saw him do something outside the bathroom that I hate. He imposed himself upon the action of others. So fitting the stereotype, he aggressively started topping the Latin bottom. With aggression that made him look like practically every black gay porn actor whose majority of their scenes are them topping white/light-skinned boys (not men). And it was negative aggression. Because after all, this was not his fuck. Like I said, he imposed himself into the mix. So there was no sex positivity to be seen in that fuck once he got in it. Nor was there any to be heard.
  For not too long into topping the Latino, the black guy said, "Yeah! You like that nigger dick?"
  I don't know what the Latin bottom said. Because I was too disgusted by the black guy's words. For that word coming out of his mouth in reference to himself, plus witnessing him impose himself into other's fun made him a trifling creature that lessened his worth.
  As I have said in past blog articles, I don't play voyeurs to sex sessions in such places. For while many sex sessions in such spaces are based on sexual racism and colorism, I refuse to look because I've done enough vicarious living before my coming out. Displays of both made that black guy such a disappointment that it made it real easy for me to walk away and not look.
  When I told others of what I had witnessed, all of whom were either white or light-complexioned, they thought that I should just dismiss it. Because as one of them put it, "Seeing himself in a way to use that word is not a 'you' problem. That's a 'him' problem."
  True and wise as that statement may be, I replied, but couldn't put it into the best words as I can after processing it. So I will now.
  Dr. Phil McGraw has told a number of his guests over the years, "You teach people how to treat you".
  Well, what many overlook is that when you're a minority in a space, the way you allow people to treat you (which is how they're taught to treat you) is also how you're teaching them to treat others in your minority group.
  This is why I take such a strong stand against unwanted touch with my exhibitionism. Enough to pitch it to Damon L. Jacobs to be interviewed on the matter. Because if I allow myself to be touched without verbal and/or physical reprimand to someone I clearly said "NO!" to, then I am also teaching those aggressors to treat every other exhibitionists with the same disrespect.
  So in this instance, this black male in a space full of mostly white and light-skinned males who are more than likely heavily influenced by the racist rules of porn, to anyone who overheard him use that N-word to describe himself, he just further cemented their negative view of Black males as being "less than". Only worthy of being fetishized, then disposed of. Why? Because according to his behavior with that word, he does not even have pride in himself. So why should anyone else?! Thereby making it be that another black male, maybe even myself was going to have to pick up where he fucked up by demanding better treatment for those of us who truly know the beauty of our Black selves.
  With that said, the more multiple brands of a minority you are, and the more self-aware you are, the more sensitive you will be to that responsibility to teach people how to treat you. And being a Black out predominately gay bisexual who is also an unapologetic American exhibitionist, I am of many minorities that make me sensitive to that responsibility.
  What you say in the privacy of your own private spaces is one thing. However, when you are in a public space, a public sexual space, that is a different story. And race play is one of those things.
  In such sexual spaces, one should stick to vanilla dirty talk. The problem is gay males are getting more overly self-entitled. Thinking they should not have to censor themselves. Refusing to acknowledge how they are not in their private space, but a public one. As their private space would be where such language should be allowed without outside judgement.
  Now, I will tell you that I am all about letting go during sex. However, I do make mental notes of what I cannot do with someone because I am in a certain space. For in a public space, the lack of consent to certain language and actions can cause justified problems from both your playmate(s) and onlookers.
  That is why this instance rubs me the wrong way.
  For that N-word is highly offensive to me, as it is to many others. Regardless of how it is used. Now, if this guy wants to do such race play, then he should do so in private. NOT in a bar bathroom or backroom that is not overall sponsoring that kind of play.
  Maybe even an hour or more after hearing that guy's social ineptitude make him say that word, I was just standing around. The black guy walked pass me and grabbed my arm as if out of flirtation. I was so beyond repulsed. Seconds after he kept walking I could still feel his touch. I tried to tune it out and proceed with minding my own business to not react by wiping the essence of him off of me. But I couldn't help but eventually feverishly rub my arm. Because his touch made me feel like maggots were crawling and squirming on me. Maggots that were multiplying by the millisecond. So rubbing my arm became inevitable to try and get the ugliness of his self-loathing soul off of my skin.
  In any case, I'm telling this because it needs to be said. People need to be mindful of where they are, and how they define themselves in public may not only be harmfully misrepresentational of themselves. But also their entire community.
  at September 15, 2022 No comments:
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  Labels: aggression, backroom, race play, racial slurs, racism, self-hatred, self-loathing, sexual racism
  Tuesday, September 6, 2022
  My Poppers Experiment...A Turnaround?
  Imagine coming into work one day and finding a bottle of poppers in your locker. Some reading this are thinking, "Whoo hoo!"
  Now, imagine being me. Someone who everyone in your workplace knows is very much against poppers. So if you were me, you would be pretty pissed, wouldn't you?
  Well, that was me the day I came to work and found a bottle of Super Rush sitting in my locker at the sex shop I work at. I didn't throw a fit. I felt I would get a logical explanation soon enough, and I did. A co-worker later told me that a vendor sent some samples or different brands and that was the one he put in my locker. The co-worker even offered to take it off my hands if I wanted them to. I decided to keep it simply for photographic purposes if/when I write another article against poppers. Instead, as a couple of days went by, another idea of what to do with that bottle of poppers came to mind.
  With hindsight being 20/20, while the knowledge of poppers being a harmful chemical still prevail as a huge deterrent from me partaking of them, I have come to realize that part of my disdain is also how poppers were introduced to me. They were shoved in my face during a tryst by a top unwilling to take his time with my hole that is tight as one's hole should be.
  I'm sure that was the case for most who bottom. A lazy, self-serving, sexually uneducated top shoved poppers in their face to shut them up of the bottom's justified complaint of pain from rushed anal entry. Hence my disappointment with bottoms who use poppers for sex. For after that top usurped that bottom's body, the bottom never stopped to realize how poppers were imposed upon them. Therefore, further use is them refusing to let that realization inspire them to undo their dependency on poppers.
  I italicized dependency for a reason. For what else would you call it when a bottom misplaces their poppers at a sex party or backroom, and they scramble like a crazy person looking for them. Almost in the same way a heroin addict psychotically scrambles for their misplaced drugs. Almost every gay male reading this has seen it. Maybe even during a tryst in their own home. It is not a sexy sight at all. I have become less invested in many playmates that used poppers because of such actions.
  In my experimentation with various substances like cocaine, ecstasy, crystal meth, and even marijuana (when it was illegal here in New York), my goal has always been to find an answer to...WHAT'S THE DRAW? Then if I find that answer, my next question becomes: WHAT'S THE PAYOFF?
  Especially, the long-term payoff.
  With all of those previous experiments, I definitely found the draw. It is the long-term payoff that has led me to not partake of those substances on a more regular basis. For most of the substances I mentioned lead to a limp dick and/or your sex partner(s) not being the primary and/or sole source of your excitement, pleasure, and orgasm. So what did my experiment with poppers prove?
  The exact same result.
  For I will admit that with my experiment with poppers, I definitely got a chance to experience the draw through masturbation sessions. The high did feel great. My heart racing did scare me for a bit, but not panicking and taking deep breaths helped that to subside. I did still enjoy the high. That I will not deny.
  So trust me, being able to have this experience did let me get a chance to learn the draw to poppers on my own time, and on my own turf. Without the coercion of a stereotypical, selfish, no-brained, no patience-having douche of a top.
  With the exception of one time, I conducted these experiments with poppers alone. That only experiment while with a playmate was not with the bottle given to me. I was topping in a bar backroom and a voyeur I became friendly with earlier offered me theirs. Considering I was doing these experiments with poppers at home, I accepted. And it immediately bothered me emotionally.
  Because compared to the pleasure I felt using the poppers in solo play, the use while with a playmate made me take time away from my playmate. That made me feel like a lousy lover. So obtaining a high from poppers took away from the pleasure I should have felt with my sex partner. It also put me on the verge of lessening my ability to accurately grade my sex partner's performance. So I never experimented using poppers while having any kind of intercourse again.
  So after this experiment, has my position on poppers changed? Somewhat. Because now, I more so support the use of poppers for solo use. Meanwhile, with intercourse, I still stand behind my sentiment that your sex partner(s) should be your primary and/or sole high. And in regards to anal sex, when you bottom, your top is supposed to display patience and knowledge of your body and human anatomy in general to make himself your substance-free anal motivator & anal relaxer.
  Plus, the repeated pauses to take a huff of poppers interrupts the flow and rhythm of sex. Thereby leaving participants unfulfilled. Often without them even knowing it. So this point is not just for those who use poppers during gay sex. It is for those who use them during any orientation of intercourse. And let us also keep in mind that anal sex is not for everyone.
  I would like to say that the new information I found through experimentation and an article from Popper-Aromas.eu made me do a complete turnaround on the issue of poppers. However, such is not the case.
  It is because people have repeatedly shown themselves to be followers of using things that can serve a good purpose, but someone comes up with a counterproductive purpose, then people join the bandwagon and make that the main use instead. Poppers are one of those things. So while there are sometimes health benefits with using poppers, you can't trust the sight of poppers when you know an overwhelming majority are using them simply to get high because they have allowed intercourse alone to not enough of a high for them.
  With all that said, am I as against poppers as much as I was before? No. I might even partake of them myself in the same frequency I partake of marijuana, which is not much at all. However, I will still keep the previous articles I've written about poppers up because I would prefer to inspire people to not use them. For we are headed towards a society dependent on foreign substances, instead of the natural ones between the bodies in order to get through a sexual encounter. And that needs to stop.
  at September 06, 2022 No comments:
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  Labels: anal play, anal sex, backroom, gay sex, gay sex parties, masturbation, poppers, sex, sexual health, substance abuse
  Tuesday, July 12, 2022
  The Color Heckling Us For Making Out Outside The C*ck
  Recently, I went to the NYC gay bar, The Cock. I met a guy there with whom I made out with inside the bar, and we liked each other so much that we considered upping the ante by taking it to where he was staying.
  Before I continue, the following about myself will become necessary immediately after.
  My brain is always multi-tasking. Even when I am with someone. To be more exact of how that works, my conscious mind is focused on my partner, while my subconscious is taking note of all of the things notable by the 5 senses unrelated to my partner. With that, my subconscious doesn't interrupt the conscious mind unless it has taking note that the initially thought to be unrelated to my time with my partner is evolving into a possible danger we need to avoid.
  My subconscious working this way is actually how I get a lot of my knowledge of behavior in sexual spaces even while I am in the midst of having some sexy fun myself. Behaviors that are both directed at me, and at others. After my partner and I have parted ways, I recall and process all of the details of what happened around us. So with hindsight being 20/20, that is why recollection of those behaviors are so often seconded by one or more readers.
  So what does that have to do with my make out session and the title?
  During one of our instances of making out, I was grazing against the solid gate of the establishment next door to the bar as he kissed me. In the background, I heard a bunch of frat-boy loud-mouths approaching. I'm sure they were coming from the $1 pizza place one block south of The Cock. My playmate and I continued kissing.
  Then all of the sudden, I heard this male chorus of voices yelling "Ill!!!" and "Ewwww!"
  While my initial thought was to ignore them, just as a precaution, my subconscious mind put it to the forefront of my mind to only take note of their actions just in case I needed to defend myself and/or my playmate. As my playmate did turn around to look at them. I tried to bring his attention back to me. Urging him to follow my lead by telling him, "I only acknowledge relevant people. Not irrelevant people, like them."
  After they kept on their way, he continued trying to convince me to come back to where he was staying. We already exchanged numbers. So doing it another time was definitely possible. However, he finally broke me, and I agreed to go with him.
  Back to the crowd of hecklers. I immediately noticed that this horde of guys were mostly (if not all) white.
  This triggered a floodgate of racist propaganda and double standards I have witnessed over the years. Such as how the racism of mainstream media, especially gay media has long put out this narrative about the existence of "black homophobia". A means to portray Blacks as unevolved when it comes to the acceptance of LGBTQ+ people. It is a narrative still being put forth today. And while there may be some truth to that, this instance solidifies how I have long known that such homophobia still exists among white/light-skinned males. However, it is not given the same degree of punishment by the masses.
  What allows this fakery of presenting whites as being more evolved is a major negative of white culture - the monetizing of every thing possible. In this case, that is one's sexual orientation. For porn producers have long given whites and light people of color a means to turn a huge profit as they internalize their homophobia and/or use money as an excuse to display a side of their sexual selves they don't want to openly admit to. Hence the idea of "sexuality is fluid" instead of someone owning how their action show them to be some kind of bisexual.
  Mainstream Hollywood is also guilty of making whites seem more evolved in this area by offering gay roles to way more straight white males than Black actors. So what makes "black homophobia" so much more prevalent is because in a racist and capitalism-driven nation like the United States, blacks are not given the same means to mask their homophobia. And if they are, it is nowhere near in the same economic range as white/light-skinned people.
  This leads me to pause before someone tries to say that black males do gay-for-pay as well. To which I say that due to my disgusting recollection of doing a scene with such a black gay-for-pay porn actor, Double R, I am well aware of that being true. However, it is white males heading the porn companies and websites hiring these guys of all colors who falsely define as "straight". Giving them a playground for this dysfunction. A dysfunction that as I proved in an article from over a decade ago can have harmful consequences.
  T prove my point of white males giving these self-destructive playgrounds, note this list of ethnic porn companies (past and present) that have hired gay-for-pay porn actors of color are:
  Big City Video
  Pitbull Productions (my scene with a scene partner who was gay-for-pay was with them)
  FlavaWorks
  Original Latino Fan Club
  What do they all have in common?...THEY ARE ALL HEADED BY WHITE MALES. And paying the performers far less than the more white-starring porn companies.
  The bottom line is that if one heckling for being true to myself can incite so many negative memories from within a community that I am supposed to be considered a part of, then it totally justifies feeling that the gay community is not a community. Such an ongoing history is why when LGBTQ+ Pride comes around, my celebrations are about pride in myself. Not us as a community. For as long as these racist propagandas and double standards continue, the idea of community is just that - an idea.
  To be more exact, a façade.
  at July 12, 2022 No comments:
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  Labels: gay nightlife, homophobia, racism, The Cock
  Thursday, June 23, 2022
  Denied Self Becomes Violent Self
  Originally posted on "Tre's X-Ray Vision" on February 7, 2008
  While I have definitely had my say regarding my disdain for "gay-for-pay" actors, a news item that had been brought to my attention thanks to Men Of Color Blog back in 2008 brought forth another reason to light as why studios should stay away from these guys.
  I have admitted to being a fan of his, even considered him as a possible scene partner knowing he was "gay-for-pay", but when I heard that Nickolay Petrov was being charge with attempted murder, I started to realize that there seems to be a trend going on here. It seems that every gay porn actor that makes the headlines because of some act of violence is a "gay-for-pay" actor. Look at the other people I can use as evidence - Marcus Allen, Mark Dalton, and one of my very own past scene partners, Double R (from what I've heard) is in trouble with the law in a way that could put him away for a long time.
  Now, I am in no way about imply that truly gay men don't have a violent streak. But you have to wonder, does the fact that these "gay-for-pay" actors denying their true selves contribute to the violent acts there are accused of. Are they taking violence as a way to show the manhood they fear losing if they admit that they're gay or bisexual? Or is the violence against someone else actually them using their victim(s) as a punching bag for how much they want to hit themselves for lying to themselves and the women in their lives about their sexual orientation?
  I'm sure that is the reason for that violent streak because, I was once there myself. I admit to having a terrible temper, but before my realizing my sexual orientation and embracing it, I had a lot less control over it. In fact, I left my last job out of fear that my temper was going to get out of control, and I would become another news story of a disgruntled employee. Even though, I have a great deal to be angry with my present employers over that could put me in that same state of mind, since my sexual awakening, the thoughts to resort to a horrific degree of violence are under control. Why? Because my anger towards my former employers compounded with my anger towards myself for lying about who I really am gave me a need to release that self-inflicted inner-rage. Now, even though my present employers are assholes inept at being humane, with the anger gone due to my resolving the issue of my sexual orientation, my anger towards them is strictly towards them. And I never get angry enough towards them that it blinds me to the fact that no employer is worth me risking my life as a free member of society.
  It has been theorized that gay-bashers attack gays out of self-loathing they feel because gays live the sex lives the gay-bashers have thought about even for a flash at one point or another, but feel guilty because of the environments the gay-bashers were raised in. And these "gay-for-pay" actors committing these acts of violence may be even worse, because compared to gay-bashers who usually attack total strangers, more of these "gay-for-pay" actors are attacking people who are a part of their life, be it business or personal. With that in mind, I believe that it is safe for me personally to theorize that their victim becomes a target when they in some way remind the "gay-for-pay" actor of his gay acts that he tries to bury because he's not on a gay porn set at that time.
  Once again, I must address this to the studios hiring these guys, who as it seems that because of their denial of themselves are more capable of these violent acts than your already out and proud gay/bi man. Because of this potential for violence due to self-loathing, these guys are a risk to the image you should want to present. I am not saying that a truly gay/bi man is not capable of the same degree of violence, but when you are knowingly bring someone in denial of themselves into the fold, you create an almost 100% risk to creating a mentally unsafe environment for your truly gay actors. Remember my incident with Double R? These "gay-for-pay" guys bring their uneasy vibe from their self-denial with them, and since producers and directors aren't the ones topping or (even more uneasy) being a bottom with these guys, you don't know of what us actors have to mentally put ourselves through to deal with these guys. What would be even worse though would be if you didn't care.
  At this point, I do not totally fault the porn studios for hiring these guys. There is a fascination with them as to how they call themselves straight yet fuck men. But now that I have presented this reality to myself, and passed it on to you, I hope this fascination is over for you as it is now over for me. With that being said, should this "gay-for-pay" trend continue, I will begin to hold studios responsible. These are obviously unstable people, more unstable than most, and allowing them into the fold of gay porn to deal with the demands of it will only increase their instability.
  at June 23, 2022 No comments:
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  Labels: aggression, Bisexuality, gay, gay porn, guilt, homophobia, hookups, porn, porn industry, sexual fantasy, sexual health, shame
  Monday, April 25, 2022
  Sex Party Etiquette: Older Guys, Heavyset Guys, & Blacks Are NOT The Help
  I went to the SCUM party, Gush one Monday night. There after topping this tall, older well-built White male, I did my recommended post-sex wash-off, then stood on the side. While standing there, a guy who appeared to be light-skinned Latino, with black hair, moderately hairy, with a tan baseball cap and glasses looked over to me like he was about to say something. However, the next thing out of his mouth pissed me off.
  He said, "You were fucking that guy earlier."
  I said, "Yes."
  He said, "Is he only a top?"
  I said, "I don't know."
  He then asks, "Is he still here?"
  I replied, "I don't know." After a brief paused, I said, "Why are you asking me?"
  In his attitude of white/light entitlement, he shrugged it off by saying, "Well, you were fucking him. So I thought I'd ask."
  As many have told me that my eyes tell everything I'm thinking, I've come to use it as a weapon to get ignorant people out of my sight. So after that statement, I gave him one sharp glance and turned my head. Making the now awkward silence make him go elsewhere.
  My thought was that it is a sex party. If you want to know where someone is, if you see someone you like who has walked pass you, you just get up off your ass and go look for them. Don't ask others about them. Especially not the person that just had sex with them, yet you have no intention of fucking the person you questioned.
  Post-sex conversations about someone's playmate are to be compliments of one's performance with that playmate. Not a questionnaire about the playmate's position and whereabout stats to dismiss in their minds your time with that person. Such a questionnaire is a power-play meant to diminish (and erase) my encounter from his mind. By treating me like the help. A walking information desk. Instead of a fellow hunter and actual sexual equal. Especially since he saw the person he wanted have an encounter with a Black man.
  Unfortunately, many young white and light-skinned people of color gaining acceptance via colorism behave this way. Neglecting how at a sex party, unless you know the person outside the sex party, you practically never strike up a conversation unless you're looking to have sex with that person. Young white and light-skinned guys in their attitude of entitlement seem to follow this rule only when they talk to their own. For anyone outside of their age, body type, and/or skin color mirror image, it is a coin-toss as to whether or not sex with you is their goal. If there is no sex on their To-Do list with you, then it is probably just chit-chat for the sake of seeming friendly. Compensating for the pretentiousness that makes them sexually see you as less than.
  It is not only striking up conversations to get information is not the only method one is treated as the help. These same guys will also use non-whites, heavyset guys, and older guys as fluffers. Because in their attitude of entitlement, you are not good enough to fuck. You are only good enough to service those perceived as "sex gods". Because of this attitude, I have come to hate the word "service" in porn titles and descriptions to mean oral sex. Even though I have admitted to moments at which I like being submissive.
  Some years ago, seeing a bunch of white and light-skinned Latinos do this to an Asian one time too many at a NY Jock Party is why I stopped going there. And when I meet someone who has attended NYJP in the years since, they report to me as to nothing has changed. Of course, such reports only come from non-white attendees as white attendees are too self-involved about getting theirs to notice when someone else is being slighted.
  For these reasons, I saw this guy asking about the one I had sex with as being motivated by jealousy. Jealousy that I had sex with someone he found attractive, but felt because of my being Black that I wasn't good enough. So this questioning was his cowardly, petty, and racist way to say, "Yeah, I want him. Not you."
  Sadly, this questioner would have probably done the same thing if a heavyset and/or older person had sex with the guy I was with. Why? Because acts of ageism, racism, colorism, and body-shaming in environments like this are born out of insecurity. So because they are taught that Black males, heavyset guys, and older guys do not have sex appeal, to see such people acquire someone they want brings them to a reality that reminds them that they are not sex gods. That the world (or the gay community) does not revolve around them or bend to their every will. And that makes them scared...as they should be.
  For behavior such as this guy's makes it only a short matter of time before his attempt to be a discarder will result in him actually becoming the discarded. With the only possible way to keep the illusion that he is not discarded alive is by buying off young guys with the promise of booze and drugs.
  So this post is to warn many to do better. Because I keep saying it, and the rule has not changed...Karma is a bitch.
  at April 25, 2022 No comments:
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  Labels: ageism, gay, gay sex, gay sex parties, sex party, sex party etiquette, sexual racism
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  LeNair Xavier
  LeNair Xavier originally gained notoriety as adult entertainer, "Tré Xavier". Now, he's undoing the misinformation given by porn by making a brand of LeNair Xavier. Still as a performer, but also as a poet, artist, erotic model, but most importantly, blogger. For 3 blogs, in fact: his own (L's X-Ray Vision); the sex toy company, Kiiroo; and as author of the "X-Rayed Sex" column of the NYC gay nightlife blog, Thotyssey. Still demanding equality in all areas he believes in, and is asked to lend his voice.