text: Lisa, thanks for sharing such painful and yet powerful moments of your life. Can a memoir be revised? Probably. But, do you want to rewrite history? You wrote “the truth” as you knew, felt, understood, and could speak of at the time. Regarding Pip, it is often said we get the dog we need, not the dog we want. I see Pip as your beacon for leaving an abusive relationship. How could you second guess yourself and possibly go back when Pip was there clearly showing you the rightness of your decisions. It took tremendous insight, courage and selfless love to rehome Pip. The woman you are today is a testament of the resilience of the human spirit. As a reader, I would like to hear of this journey and how the wisdom you gained through the years have “rewritten” those past life lessons and memories. My thoughts and just saying since you put it out there.
  Judy, I’m deeply touched by what you say. Thank you for loving thoughts. Yes, I would not rewrite history, so much has seek a more complete and insightful one. Memory, though, is ephemeral, and limited. This post has prompted reflection from my family on these events, fifteen years past now. They’re sharing information that I did not have at the time, and some of it is difficult, all of it fascinating. Plus, my daughter says her father read it and phoned her to apologize for all of it. The entire family is healing, and it’s a joyful thing!
  you write: “And when it came to choosing a mate for myself at twenty-four, I was an unforgivably bad judge of character.”
  so, here is a thought … just my opinion. you might reconsider the ‘unforgiveable’ aspect of this observation. having recognized your actions at that time are none that you wish to repeat, and having accepted responsibility for what you wish you’d done differently, it seems to me that forgiveness is the most appropriate next step in healing.
  i know the toll of domestic violence first-hand. i also have come to recognize and accept choices i made as a result of living with domestic violence – choices i would never make again, some of which still make me cringe and weep when i re-visit them. making amends to myself and others, as appropriate, is ongoing.
  for me, self-forgiveness does not mean ‘it was not really that bad’, or any other kind of excuse for what happened. however, for me, forgiveness is essential to moving on and behaving with the greatest integrity i can in the present moment – hopefully ensuring that i do not repeat my earlier actions, to the best of my ability.
  i am guessing you are a much more astute judge of character now. the person who was a poor judge of character obviously did not have the capacity for doing it differently, at that time. heavens – if she is unforgivable, we are all in trouble. (just my 2 cents. your mileage may vary.)
  i am tremendously moved by your offerings here. your candor creates space for all of us who share the experience to bear witness and heal with you. thank you.
  You are so right–thank you for your generosity of spirit! I certainly have learned and have built a peaceful life with someone who shares my way of living with dogs. And you’re right–forgiving ourselves and others, past and present, is ongoing, and, I believe, communal. When we hear each other, we heal each other.