text: When They Come To Stay - Fatherhood for Men
  Three in ten young adults moved back in with their parents at some point during the recession. We spoke with some of their fathers, and they explained how they welcomed the kids home — and how they helped them back on their feet and out of the house.
  • You can't treat a twenty-five-year-old as if he's seventeen. They need their space. Did my son ever pay rent? No. Did he need to apply to a certain quota of jobs? No. We didn't try to manage that process. We knew he was working on it. —Tim Butler, 56
  • An adult child wants and needs more than anything to be heard. The last thing an adult child needs to hear is pontificating. I equate father-hood with being a good referee. A good referee is invisible and doesn't affect the outcome of the game. —David Gomez, 60
  • Basic courtesies, I think, rather than rules. And if the goal is for the child to save money, why would you ask him to contribute financially to the household? —Steve Lieberman, 61
  •Don't expect them to behave any differently than you did when you were that age. I mean, what was I doing when I was twenty-four? It's highly possible they'll feel uncomfortable with parental scrutiny, and if they start to feel uncomfortable, it's not going to work. —Dean Goodhill, 67