text: Button Buttoners Beware! - the other white meat: think pork, not pink
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  Published 3.12.04 by Porkchop | E-mail this post
  Miss Overly Zealous Coworker, who was mentioned a few posts ago (see: Looking Forward...) has just informed that I button my cardigan improperly. Save mismatching the buttons and holes, I did not know it was possible.
  Please understand this comes from a woman who wears pleated pants, with tapered legs and they are perpetually one inch too short for her. Please note that she thinks the whole Fluffy-Short-Tapered-Hair is very mod and hip, her idea of changing her hair color is by varying between two shades of blonde, depending on the season. Please digest the fact if I look/dress like her when I am her age, I hope that euthenasia is legalized by then. May All People Who Have Hair Like Hers Be Killed In Mysterious Street Muggings.
  My transgression was as follows: I had two, not one, buttons of my twin-set buttoned. And she so nobly informed me that I was to only have ONE button buttoned, AND that Very Special Button ONLY being the MIDDLE button. She carefully undid the offending button for me with her acrylic nail trimmed nimble fingers while I apoligized quickly and lavishly to The Button Buttoning Expert.
  May all you Two Button Buttoners go to a deep and watery grave. I think the fires of hell burn paticularly hot for you. And the second button will MELT OFF.