text: Work out what’s behind these feelings. If it’s a personality clash or differences in life goals then you may need to adjust your expectations accordingly or start to manage your own behaviours and reactions better. Accepting your child or young person for who they are can bring you a great deal of relief. If you have a child who you wouldn’t have chosen to be your friend, then it’s up to you to make a change. Accept and appreciate them for who they are you’ll find that your child or teen will be easier to like and your relationship will improve.
  Do you need to be more playful and less serious when you are in your child’s company? If so, look for ways to build your relationship by spending some enjoyable one-on-one time together.
  Considering following their interests, even if they’re not necessarily your own. If you’re a creative type and your child is a sports buff, then take the time to follow their interests. Understanding why will tell you a lot about your child and what makes them tick. You may also find that he or she also starts following your interests once you take the lead.
  When we are struggling to like and connect with a child there is a tendency to focus on the things we don’t like about them. Our attention becomes like a television antenna tuned into the negative rather the positive behaviour or attitudes. Tune your antenna to look for the good rather than the bad in your child.
  Resist the temptation to criticise your child about minor and annoying behaviours, as nit-picking will only reinforce mutual disregard. Biting your tongue and smiling when your child says or does something that grates on you is the type of emotional labour that makes parenting challenging. But choosing your battles will make your day easier and improve your relationship long term.
  It’s not always appropriate to hold your tongue. Children need to be held accountable for poor, inconsiderate behaviour. There are some behaviours such as being disrespectful to others, or not following set family rules and values that need to be picked up on. Ensure that you treat all kids on your family fairly and justly.
  There may be times where you may feel there is nothing left to do. Keep showing up anyway. The single, most important thing you can do as a parent is to show up every single day. It will send a powerful message to your child that even if you don’t like how they are behaving, you’re always going to love them. If you can accept your child for who they are, then they are more likely to make subtle changes in their behaviours to meet your needs and expectations. This type of social adjustment is the lynchpin of healthy, respectful relationships.
  Our Parenting Boys and Parenting Girls online courses have helped many parents accept their sons and daughters for who they are, providing relief from the constant struggle for understanding and the desire to change them.
  Recent events and current statistics highlight that as a nation we have a serious problem when it comes to domestic…