text: birthdays and funeral homes…
  September 27, 2014 by Mary Lenaburg 3 Comments
  Maybe I will run away and become a circus clown because that's the craziest thing I can come up with right now and my life is filled with all kinds of crazy.
  Good crazy but still…wowza…
  Yesterday it was wet and raining. Not a ray of sun to be seen. That didn't matter at all. The birthday love bombs of chocolate and coffee arrived via the UPS man or the mailman. Sweet friends from Kilmer Center, Miss Courtney's former school, came by to deliver a little extra love. They were followed by some old homschooling friends of mine who planted a birthday garden for me IN THE RAIN!!
  Miss Courtney's love bombs We should be done now and I cannot say thank you enough. We have plenty of clothing and supplies for Miss Courtney. Our freezers are filled with wonderful food and we are so blessed. Jerry and I shake our heads in wonder at the Lord's provision during this time. It has been absolutely amazing. No words. So amazing.
  This morning Jerry and I faced a parent's nightmare. Meeting with a funeral home director about our daughter's services. First I want to say how lovely and incredibly helpful Miss Christine of Fairfax Memorial Home was in walking Jerry and I through it all.
  To say we were slightly overwhelmed would be an understatement. So.many.details. I was so grateful for the peace I had going in and so thankful that our dear friend Dcn. Silva came with us. I don't know what we would have done without him. DQ you saved the morning with your quick wit.
  The hardest moment for Jerry was when they showed us the concrete vault that Miss Court's casket will be in. It was so real in that moment. I looked at my husband who has loved this little girl from the moment we knew she existed and he had tears running down his face.
  I rubbed his back and told him it would all be OK. My pragmatic blunt husband looked at me and said "No it won't. We still have to pay for all this."
  That's my Bear. I love him so much and he always calls a spade a spade. I laughed out loud. He was so right. All of this is just insane. I don't want to be at a funeral home figuring out what kind of vault we want or what kind of prayer card or program.
  Sweet Mother I love flowers but I just could not do it. I could not choose what flowers to put on my daughter's casket. So we opted to wait to make those choices later. Don't even get me started on a grave stone.
  So here is where we stand. We have started a "folder" at the funeral home making all our selections except for the flowers and headstone. The total cost of this shindig…drum roll please…$9000…and that's the frugal funeral with the casket already being provided.
  I know, I know I shouldn't be shocked but…well…I am.
  We have a $5000 KofC policy for her and Jerry has a policy through work. The kicker with that is, if he is laid off on Friday, (Oct. 3) that one will go away. Which means we will have to come up with the rest ourselves. Add in her medical debt and well, life's a party my friends and you can't take it with you.
  Since we don't have any $$ at the moment, we just had them take down ALL the details and when Miss Courtney makes her final exit we will go and take care of the bill. Death and taxes baby, can't avoid either of them. Wow!
  God has never let us down. His provision has been overwhelming and awesome for our girl from the very beginning. It hasn't been easy by any stretch of the imagination and has required much sacrifice. But this child has been such a miracle and to love her and care for her is an honor. We would do the same for our son.
  Have I mentioned how much this boy HATES to shop or where anything other than grey or navy blue?? Of course! So adding son's funeral clothes to the "to do" list. I see some serious fun in my future. Yay me!!