text: True, but OP did say that if the boss had been polite and reasonable when he asked, she wouldn’t have had as much of a problem with it. If he’d said something like “you wouldn’t happen to know where Joe is, would you?” that seems like it might have been different. Assuming the OP keeps track of her boyfriend’s every move, and getting even more frustrated when she doesn’t have the info he needs, feels to me like where the manager went wrong here.
  I don’t know why they’d assume that. Just a few weeks and only a boyfriend (not a spouse) wouldn’t lead to assumptions they’re living together, and without that, why would OP know where the boyfriend was? He mentioned he was feeling sick, OP shared that data, why did this person continue to harangue OP about it? OP didn’t know. And also, why lecture OP about how OP’s boyfriend needs to be there on time, etc? That is a discussion the boss needs to have with their employee, not their employee’s SO. It’s not OP’s job to make their boyfriend get to work on time.
  I was married for 18 years and I never knew my husband’s work plans. I left for work and to drop the kids off at school before he woke up. I wouldn’t have been able to confidently say whether he was out sick or taking a day off, unless he was in the hospital or going on a family vacation with me.
  This. Same. My husband and I never meddled in each other’s work life and it is entirely possible that I would have been long gone to work when he decided to take a sick day.
  OP1 here– I said right in my question that I wouldn’t have minded a casual question. It’s a casual workplace. What I do mind is a manager storming over to my desk to grill me about something that has nothing to do with me, professionally. And despite our relationship being known, we’re very professional in the office– we don’t even socialize with each other at the annual Christmas party. We just head out to lunch together very occasionally.
  Also, to clarify, I knew he had called out earlier that week and that he was still feeling sick but I had no idea if he was going in to work that day or not. We leave the house at different times in the morning and often one of us is still sleeping when the other leaves. Frankly, I’m at work doing my job, not texting my boyfriend to make sure he made it to work on time. I don’t pack him a lunch either.