text: Good morning my sleepy Sleipnirs and murmuring Mjölnirs (UMLAUT'D!). How was your weekend? Did you see Thor with the rest of the nation? Me too, my dears. I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised by how shamelessly Chris Hemsworth's well-sculpted pecs were featured. But don't worry, lady-lovers, you've still got the market on sexploitation cornered. For every half-nude Norse there's a brimming handful of Annie's Boobs. No, not the monkey. I mean, of course, these outrageous gifs of Alison Brie running down the halls of Greendale in last week's Paintball episode of "Community." Enjoy. (Warming Glow)
  Oh, Fat Neil, we hardly knew ye. Speaking of gamers, here's an interesting photography project of real life gamers compared to their avatars. There is, as you would expect, the usual over-weight lads and bespectacled gents playing as hot ladies, but there are also some eerily accurate representations. I'm not sure which unsettles me more. (Golem)
  Speaking of unsettling. . .who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Porifera Robert Quadrilateral Trousers. Realist-ick. (Sponge Bob Square Pants)
  Conversely, here is that now-famous Situation Room photo done up Superhero Style. A black Captain America? What ze hail? Next thing you know they'll be wanting to make one of the residents of Asgard black. Can you imagine?! There is no way that would work out really well because the actor is talented and all the people who whined about it were racist *holes. No way at all. (Superhero Situation Room)
  Speaking of Osama Bin Laden and the question of the exorbitant bounty on his head, one of my political heroes, Congressman Anthony Weiner has suggested it go to 9/11 survivors and first responders. I say we dump it back into our broken economy. What say you? (NY Post)
  Actually, my dears, I'm curious, how did you find out about Osama Bin Laden's death in the first place? These days I get most of my news from Twiter (faster that way). Social Flow has a fascinating (and real purty) examination of how the news of OSB's death spread and how it all stems from one single tweet. (Social Flow)
  You know I love purty visualizations of information. Here's a nifty breakdown of some famous films and TV shows that deal with time travel. They omitted "Quantum Leap" and "Doctor Who," I'm guessing, to avoid a chart that looks like your knitting after the cats have been at it. (Information Is Beautiful)
  But you know, my little Black Spots, that I would never omit The Doctor. Here's a handy Ikea-style guide on how to build your own Tjardiis. Allen wrench and wibbly-wobbly included. (College Humor)
  Does the wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey nature of certain films leave you scratching your head and pointing out inconsistencies? Well this wickedly funny article is here to tell you to shut your face, you Anal-Retentive Snobby Exasperating Spoilsports (ARSES). I mean it about the wickedly funny part. . .and about the ARSES too. (The Rich Tea Biscuit Party)
  I will, however, point out this inconsistency in the time-space-continuum. HOW IS PAULA ABDUL STILL GETTING HIRED TO DO THINGS ISN'T SHE, LIKE, A WELL-KNOWN TRAIN WRECK? Ahem. Sorry. I know too many smart unemployed peoples to be able to keep my cool on this subject. (Evil Beet )
  Okay, you're right, I'm going to calm down and listen to my friend Zombie Marie Curie. She's a cool dude. (XKCD)
  But we all know the coolest dude that ever was or will be is Mr. Jon Hamm. Here he is making nice with a mysterious blue muppet-thinger. No I don't know what's going on in this video, honestly, but Hamm is super charming and the song is pleasantly catchy so just enjoy it you ARSES.
  Are Cute Kid Videos basically Cute Animal Videos in disguise? Well, regardless, watch these wee Brazilian moppets and their slick dance moves.
  Joanna Robinson is fond of both muppets and moppets and is on board with everything about those videos except for the final baby ass wiggle. She has a strict "Must Be This Tall Before Making The Booty Drop" policy. Email! Twitter!