text: Astrologer Sues NASA Over Comet Probe - Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS) - Straight Dope Message Board
  CalMeacham July 5, 2005, 2:26pm #1
  That's the headline at Yahoo news. Must be a slow news day:
  Ice_Wolf July 5, 2005, 4:03pm #2
  "…deform her horoscope."
  ivylass July 5, 2005, 4:35pm #3
  "ruins the natural balance of forces in the universe,"
  I think the phrase I heard on the news was "a mosquito hitting a 747." She must have quite a bit of arrogance of our abilities to change the universe.
  h.sapiens July 5, 2005, 4:54pm #4
  …because they were too busy laughing their asses off.
  scr4 July 5, 2005, 5:02pm #5
  It gets even better. From BBC:
  Marina Bay's legal team remain confident, and they are even looking for volunteers to join in on the claim.
  "The impact changed the magnetic properties of the comet, and this could have affected mobile telephony here on Earth. If your phone went down this morning, ask yourself Why? and then get in touch with us," says Mr Molokhov.
  lieu July 5, 2005, 5:07pm #6
  Now that's a Molokhov talk tale.
  Ike_Witt July 5, 2005, 5:10pm #7
  Hey, if this idiot can PROVE that astrology is real, then she should get the $300 million.
  Annie-Xmas July 5, 2005, 5:20pm #8
  I am shocked…shocked to find out a professional astrologer is only in it for the cash.
  Podkayne July 5, 2005, 5:32pm #9
  Actually, she's an amateur. From the BBC article
  Hey . . . our HBO signal was crap yesterday. This explains it! Any chance this suit will go class-action?
  swampbear July 5, 2005, 5:48pm #10
  So… my cable didn't go out because of that hellacious thunderstorm last night? That does it! Sign me up! I say it's class action lawsuit time!
  I'll call as soon as I quit laughing over "deform her horoscope".
  Cervaise July 5, 2005, 8:34pm #11
  DMark July 5, 2005, 9:05pm #12
  "Deformed horoscopes" is not politically correct.
  They prefer to be referred to as "physically challenged astrological vision quests".
  Mr.Blue_Sky July 5, 2005, 9:54pm #13
  And she didn't see this coming?
  Podkayne July 5, 2005, 11:01pm #14
  Well, see, this is how you can tell that she's an amateur astrologist.
  Asteroid 2002 SR41 is retrograde in Gemini. Combine that with the fact that Quaoar was in close conjunction with QSO J1819+3845 on July 4th, and any professional astrologist could tell you that NASA couldn't miss.
  Also, I recommend strongly that you avoid voyages by sea and spicy foods until after Comet Swift-Tuttle transits NGC 6705.
  wolf_meister July 5, 2005, 11:44pm #15
  How dare real science stand in the way of pseudo-science. Harumph !!! :mad:
  If she were younger, maybe she would have sued Clyde Tombaugh for discovering Pluto.
  If NASA did NOT smash into the comet, would she even have been aware of its existence? Did she always calculate this comet's astral influence on all her astrological charts?
  Sorry for sounding so angry. Must have something to do with the disturbance of the natural forces of the Universe.
  Larry_Borgia July 5, 2005, 11:48pm #16
  Hey, if it deformed her horoscope, it deformed mine too! and yours!
  Where's my $300 mil.
  wolf_meister July 5, 2005, 11:49pm #17
  CORRECTING My Wording here:
  What I meant to say is if she had been born *earlier *(say 1900?), she would have sued Clyde Tombaugh.
  Again I apologize. I would NOT have made that mistake *if *the natural forces in the Universe were in their proper balance.
  HPL July 6, 2005, 12:46am #18
  In America, you hit Comet.
  In Soviet Russia, Comet hits you!
  Podkayne July 6, 2005, 12:52am #19
  raises glass Tunguska!
  [sub]Now, go ahead, post Gesundheit. You know you want to.[/sub]
  Tuckerfan July 6, 2005, 1:24am #20
  NASA committed genocide when it hit comet.
  The matter before the court regards loss of life and limb, injuries, mental anguish, and property damage suffered on the early morning of Minxktaquicky 43, Year Nipathatep (July 3, 2005) at or around Mong 54 (10:52 PM PST).
  At or around that time, inhabitants of Ziquikcikty (Comet Tempel-1) were awoken by a large explosion. They awoke to find that a large segment of the surface of Ziquikcity had been destroyed by an unknown agent, leaving a large crater in the surface. Ejected debris caused serious damage to approximately half the surface of Ziquikcity, and minor damage to all remaining areas of the comet.
  A veritable flood of injured sentients reached medical attention after the explosion, and preliminary estimates are that 105,000 sentients were treated for injuries of some sort. Hospitals report over 2800 cessations of sentient function, with another more than 5,200 sentients undergoing major medial care with significant ongoing risk of cessation of sentient function.
  Rescue parties are still combing through the debris as of this filing, but 1,952 formerly sentient organisms have been recovered as of this filing, and at least 4,700 remain unaccounted for.
  Initial estimates of property damage (still preliminary at this time) indicate that in excess of 58,000 residences were destroyed or rendered uninhabitable, in excess of 7,500 places of business were destroyed or rendered uninhabitable, and at least 125,000 other buldings suffered serious damage including at least a partial lsos of pressure. Purely cosmetic damage estimates have not been received to date, but are expected to be severe.