text: Anxiety Board Index: Is this OCD, Anxiety...or both?
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  Hey guys. Im not sure if I have anxiety problems but here goes... I sorta always feel nervous....you know like that butterflies in your stomach feel? I just can't relax at all. Its like I have this feeling something bad is going to happen but I dont know what! This usually starts right from the moment I get out of bed. I have been diagnosed with OCD so I have a problem with constantly worrying about things. Death is a big one.....and I know realistically its so stupid to worry about that cause its gonna happen when it needs to happen. But I just wonder about the afterlife and stuff. I guess Im kinda a control freak and I get scared of the "unknown". I had sorta what I call a near death expierence once that was very unpleasant...and THATS when the whole death and control issues seemed to start. After that inncodent I was put on meds for OCD, PTSD, and anxiety. But I quit all those meds cause I felt like they were screwing with my brain. Basically I just want to know if what I have soounds like anxiety. My boyfreind says I just always look tense and like a little ball of energy. Its so horrible...sometimes I take half a pain pill just to mellow me out. But I dont really have panic attacks or anything.....my heart doesnt start racing and I dont feel like Im doing to die. I just have a constant knot/butterflies in my stomach. I run every morning to try to relax so thats where I am headed now. I did take cloznapen(sp?) for a while and that seemed to help a bit. Any advice would be great! Thank you for hearing me out. P.S. My boyfriend is a pilot so I think subconciously my mind races about him.....I find when hes gone on a trip and Im home alone I feel more nervous.
  Re: Is this OCD, Anxiety...or both?
  don't worry about the label--frankly, when someone is given a diagnosis of one kind or another, its simply a matter of putting a name to a cluster of symptoms, and yes, most of the things you mentioned share similiar traits--depression, anxiety, ocd. those are usually all treated with anti-depressants anyway. the label is moot, though it sometimes helps people wrap their brain around what's going on-gives them something to focus on. at any rate, yes absolutely you should get counseling, and school is a great place--its free, which is great. but you should know, you might get a student, and if after a while you feel they don't know what they are doing you should request someone else--that's your right. also, the meds can help, but there are also side effects to think of. i was on anti-depressants for 6 years, because i thought i needed them--had very similiar symptoms as you. after gaining 60 lbs and developing weird blood sugar issues, i decided to quit--and guess what? i don't feel any different. i was on them way too long, they really should be used as a jump start, a pick-me-up---i would say 6 months to a year tops. most depression and anxiety can be controlled with good counseling--which can, with time, change your brain chemistry (if you indeed have a chemical imbalance).
  you absolutely do not want to deal with becoming dependent on meds---and unless you are having serious life altering anxiety do not go the xanax route--its terribly addictive!! if you do decide to take an anti-anxiety med, make sure to talk to your doc about what is or isn't addictive.
  okay, as for the fear of death part--I would be scared of death too if I didn't have assurance of where I would spend eternity--that's normal. Thankfully I found a relationship with my creator that has given me a peace that meds never gave me. Sorry if I sound preachy, I am not in anyway trying to push something that isn't wanted--it just seemed appropriate in light of your fear of death and such. Should you want to discuss this further, just say the word.
  first, let me say that i was not in anyway trying to dismiss your near death experience--i hope i didn't come off that way. you may very well have ptsd, it would be really good for you to talk with someone. i can't say i am totally cool with the idea of death, (who is?) its just that i think alot of excess anxiety can be attributed to spiritual stuff. as secure as i am with my relationship with God, I still freak out everyonce in a while. my dad died in a tragic accident last year and i frequently find myself thinking about his death, how it would feel, all that craziness. its hard, no matter how you slice it. and if you got a taste of that, no matter how small, it's life changing. be sure to not put too much pressure on yourself to "get over it" as so many people like to advise:) ..but you are cracking me up with the comment about how you now feel negativley about death:) ya think?:) i don't know many people who are jazzed by the idea...unless you into the goth scene:)
  as for the close mind pushy church stuff--i used to attend a church like that--referred to it as the natzi church:) no, church or religion or whatever should not make you feel like a bad person for messing up--we all do, we are human. find a new church. i finally found one where the pastor constantly says, major on the majors, minor on the minors--finally:) i got so sick of my last church making you feel like you were going to hell because you had a beer or whatever--that's not how its supposed to be. good luck finding your way with all that, i am sure if you are sincerely seeking God he will provide for you.
  as for talking with your boss...i guess it depends on what you do. on surface i would say no way! you can't "untell" some stuff, and you certainly don't want to have to used against you in any way...or people tip-toeing (sp?) around you, or having someone doubt your abilities. her psych degree may help, but it might do more harm. you know that saying about people knowing just enough to be dangerous? if she is not a practicing therapist i wouldn't bother--you never know what negative stereotypes a person might have towards something. i understand the need for an neutral opinion, but it might cost you more that you gain. there are always others you can talk to--get to your school!! you are lucky to have free counseling available. remember: there is no shame in asking for help. alot of people think they can do it on their own, and i don't know if it's a pride thing or what, but most people wait until they bottom out--then the therapist really has their work cut out for them:) better to start climbing out of the hole while its rather shallow, rather then waiting until you get to the point where you have to be pulled out--how's that for a bad analogy:) sorry its, late.....
  trust your judgement. if you want to talk more, just hollar!
  oh yeah, stress will definetely affect how intense your anxiety and ocd symptoms are. most therapists will help you handle the stress, so as to decrease those symptoms--its about controlling them, rarely are they totally alleviated (not that it can't happen--do i sound negative tonight or what!:)