text: The Awesome Responsibility of Raising a Girl - Connecticut in Style
  | The Awesome Responsibility of Raising a Girl |
  Catherine turned seven today. We've been blissfully coasting along in the purity of this age where everything is filled with wonder – and sweetness abounds. She wakes up happy, goes to school happy, comes home happy, and goes to sleep happy with Bun Bun (her bunny) tucked firmly under her arm. If she is not singing, she is humming and if she is not humming, she is skipping. Sometimes all three happen at once. Right now, Catherine doesn't have a care in the world. I want to keep it that way.
  She's changing rapidly, or should I say growing rapidly. Whatever it is, she's doing exactly what she is supposed to be doing. But the 365-days between six to seven has brought a noticeable growth spurt. On any given day, I'll walk into a room and see her curled up reading a book. When I ask her what she's reading, she makes it clear that they are "chapter books." Miss Big Pants.
  This was the year that she discovered the TV series, Liv and Maddie. A tween sitcom. No more Sophia the First. No more Peter Rabbit. I really liked Peter Rabbit. Actually… that's not accurate. I liked what Peter Rabbit meant. It meant that she was entertained by animated shows that were rated for ages 4+, now she is watching shows rated for 7+. Right on cue.
  For the first time she's weighing in on clothes choices when we go shopping. Not that I asked her opinion. And for the first time she's expressing interest in her hair! She likes it long in case you were wondering. I bet she's thinking that her long hair will come in handy when I lock her up in the castle. She's totally on to me.
  I'm back to what I said previously. She's growing. She's doing everything she should be doing.
  So here's the thing that happened over the past 365 days. I'm watching her grow in front of my eyes. I am witnessing her replacing picture books for chapter books, animated tv shows for tween sitcoms, and velcro sneakers for tall black boots. She's evolving and with that comes greater parenting responsibility. I know that I can't protect her from everything, that's out of my control. What is in my control is how I fortify her and what I teach her.
  Raising a girl is different from raising a boy. My son and daughter will both face challenges at different points in their lives, but girls have more complex issues to deal with. At the forefront of my mind is what I will teach her to keep her safe. That's always my over-arching priority as with all parents. The #metoo movement and gender inequality are harsh and sobering aspects of her world that she doesn't even know about yet. I've been thinking lately about how to prepare her. I will continue to shelter her in sunshine and butterflies – but for how long? At what age is she emotionally ready to hear about the ugly side of life that is composed of the unexpected, unplanned, and unfair?
  I'm not here to give out parenting advice. Parenting is really hard and what works well in one person's family, may backfire for someone else. But I am a strong believer that information should only be shared when it is age appropriate. I envision my children's minds like an inverted pyramid. We start out with bits of information that get slowly layered on in the appropriate sequence (if we're lucky) until it plateaus in early adulthood. I'm going to trust in myself that I will know when the time is right to reveal the good, the bad and the ugly.
  I am trying hard to not get ahead of myself. This is what I do on my kiddos birthdays though. I look back, I look forward and at the same time, I want to stay in the moment because I know that I will never get this day again with my daughter. I want to remember how she smells, I want to study her face, and relish in every moment of her innocence. Seven is Heaven.