text: Dress Up Buttercup | Dede Raad | Houston Fashion Blogger | Dads in Heaven
  Dad's In Heaven
  Today, 5 years ago, my father passed away unexpectedly. The night of my sister's high school graduation and 1 month before he was supposed to walk me down the aisle. June 2nd is easily one of the worst days of my life, but The Lord provided during this time, 5 years ago, and I finally am getting the courage to share. Looking back at it, the Lord WAS there through it all. He was present during the hardest time of my life and He provided.
  Lets start by saying I don't believe in coincidences, it's all His work. I have been pondering on all these bittersweet moments from 5 years ago, and I am so blown away by this testimony. I just wish I wrote it down then.
  Pre-warning, this is a long post and even if it connects with 1 person, I feel like my gallons of tears writing this today was all worth it. I also need a place to journal this time so in 20 years, I won't forget the sweet moments the Lord revealed himself to me and in the darkest time, He was there.
  Let's start with camp. Growing up, I never have been to camp nor had a desire to be a camp counselor. When I got to Texas State University in 2012, becoming a camp counselor at Pine Cove was pretty much everyones' summer plans. I was only at Texas State for a semester, but I knew the Lord placed me there for SO MANY REASONS. I kept trying to decide if I wanted to try to become a camp counselor with my friends for the summer or just go home and enjoy myself. I never had an interview in my life and the thought of one, terrified me. One particular Sunday, we happened to drive up to Austin for church (Austin Stone) which was rare. The Pine Cove booth was there and my friends wanted to stop and talk to them. We chatted for a little and then I thought nothing of it. Keep in mind, the Lord allowed me to be at all of these places, at the right time for a reason – I could have easily been studying or have skipped church. On Wednesday we saw the same guy at Crosstalk (our weekly bible study). All my friends had their applications submitted and interviews already scheduled and I decided not to do it. Immediately I was asked if I had my application turned in and my interview set up and I told him no. He left me no choice and told me I was going to an interview tomorrow. I think I told him no lol but the Lord works in such mysterious ways. I ended up going to the interview, super nervous, had no idea what to say, but just wanted interview experience honestly.
  You would never guess what happened the day after the interview. On 11.11.11, Ted proposed to me OUT OF NOWHERE! I'll probably share our proposal story in November, but just keep in mind, I had no idea. I was hysterically crying and my dad was actually my first phone call. I immediately asked if Ted got my dads and moms permission and so I said yes! I immediately tossed the idea of Pine Cove out the window, again, but the Lord Persisted.
  The following week, I got the call that I was accepted, only like 100 of us out of 1,000+ interviews were selected to be a counselor. My quick response was "I just got engaged and am flattered, but I just don't know when the wedding was going to be, and I didn't think I could do it." Pat told me to pray about it. Usually they are hesitant about taking on Brides since they don't want us to be distracted at camp, but he said he had a feeling I should be there. I prayed, called Ted, called Ted's sister, my mom, and I think I was just flattered I was chosen and knew after marriage, I would have never had this opportunity, so to everyones surprise I took it. I was just being obedient at the time.
  Keeping in mind I now committed to camp and had to plan a wedding, The Lord kept opening the doors for me to come back to Houston and leave Texas State in the Spring (so I was only there in the fall). We also fell in love with Chateau Cocomar and their opening weekend was August 4, 2012, so we took it (last years post here). The Lord just kept opening and closing doors. I had someone take over my rent, got my old high school job back, I can go on and on. The best part, I was able to be home and spend that semester with my dad while planning our wedding. Since I was going to be gone for an entire month and a half with no phone or no communication, my dad and I got a lot done for the wedding that semester.
  Fast forward to May 2012, there were so many signs looking back on how the Lord was working. I remember so clearly I was driving and talking to dad about growing old and death. I told him how the thought of death right now is so scary to me and I asked if he was ok with it. I gave him the book Crazy Love and he told me after reading that book, he was ok. That he clearly understood Gods true love and that when the time is right, the time is right. When dad told me he "got it", when he saw Gods love for him, for us, my heart bursted. The entire month of May we would talk about the Bible and the bible stories he was reading in the Old Testament.
  A couple weeks before his death, we had our annual Rock Port fishing trip planned with my sister, dad, and I. I am SO thankful the Lord allowed this sweet time. The photo above was the last photo we took together on the trip. Y'all have no idea how special this trip was for all 3 of us. We almost canceled since I was leaving to camp but I am so glad we made it work. I found his study guide to Crazy Love in his bag and we had the sweetest conversations while fishing. I also remember how excited I was going to marry Ted in a couple months so next year, all four of us could go to Rock Port. Sadly, I can't get myself to go back, just yet. I remember dad calling me the day we got back from our trip and said he already misses us and wanted to grab coffee. I already had plans but remember thinking how sweet that was. He was feeling lonely and I sometimes do think of how I wish I could have had that one last coffee date with my daddy…
  Five days before June 2nd, it was time to go to camp. I REALLY did not want to go. I remember driving up to camp on the phone with Ted telling him if they called me to be a cook, or any other job besides a camp counselor, I would have easily said no. I was stumped at why the Lord wanted me there, but shortly I would find out why. I was so nervous, going to miss my sisters high school graduation, none of my friends ended up being a counselor, and my wedding was only a month away.
  And then, it happened. 7 days into camp, my dad passed away. It was opening day and all of a sudden I got paged that I needed to go to the front office. Stumped, I saw Ted and Pat standing there, they told me my dad "was in the hospital" and I needed to go home. I may have blacked out during this time. It was such a blur. Once I got in the car, I bursted into tears reading Teds face that my dad is no longer with us. We cried and prayed together the entire 2 hour drive home. My dad use to call us EVERY morning so when Katy didn't get a call from him that morning, she knew something was wrong. To make things even more evident that this was not a coincidence, my dad was born in La Grange (small, small town in Texas) right next to camp, and I happened to be there the night he passed, doing my laundry. I think I only have been to La Grange a handful of times.
  Looking back, I can't believe I went home for only 5 days then felt the need to go back to camp. Y'all, I WAS CRAZY, but was still being obedient. I felt like I needed to be with community at the time, and even though going through death is hard, sitting at home and sulking would have made it worse for me. So, crazy enough, I went back to camp. They put me in the kitchen as a cook for 2 weeks and I couldn't help but LAUGH at God since I remember so clearly the statement if I was a "cook" I would not have came. I then got to be a counselor to some kinder babies, some middle school girls, and high schoolers (I was terrified of them). I do remember the Lords overwhelming strength with me during my entire time at camp. I was mourning and trying to lead girls to discover Christ's TRUE LOVE. The Lord was good. I needed to be at camp, I needed community to pray for me and walk with me through the hardest time in my life.
  Coming home was WEIRD. I felt like I was living a bad dream that I needed to wake up from. I had one month home before I would get married and move in with Ted. I decided to walk down the aisle alone and this was probably the hardest but the Lord also provided strength during this moment. Months later, I became a wedding planner at Chateau Cocomar and yall, I would BAWL at every father and daughter dance. I still can't help but get up and run to the bathroom in tears every time I am at a wedding during the dance. Keep in mind, being a wedding coordinator, I have been to a 100+ weddings. But even though I may not have had that moment with my dad, I am so thankful to have a ton of other beautiful moments with him. And I thank God for that every day.
  I can keep going and mention all the times the Lord was there during this time, but this probably is longer than any paper I wrote in college so I will leave you with the verse below. If you are going through ANYTHING hard, hard at all, hold onto the Truth. Ted and I have held onto this verse for many many years and still is our favorite. Only 16 months later, Teds uncle, who was like his second dad and our Best Man at our wedding, also passed away. Dad and Khalo Sami also had the same birthday. We both always talk about how sweet it would be if they were still here today.
  Death is hard, but life with Christ means it's not the end. I write this to encourage those that are dealing with death of a loved one. I know we can get wrapped up in the pain of it all, but just like my story with my dad, remember to trust the Lord to comfort you with the wonderful memories you have with them.
  Sarah Tripp says:
  This is such a special, tender post. Thanks so much for sharing Dede!
  Zayda Cortez says:
  It must have taken so much courage to share this with the world, Dede, but I know this will resonate and help so many others dealing with the same emotions. Looking at it through your point of view is definitely helpful and a breath of fresh air. Love and hugs!
  I'm so proud of you sweet friend for sharing your testimony. God has already done so much through you and will continue to do so. Praying for comfort and peace this week for y'all. Love you so much! XO
  Caitlin Marie Just says:
  I lost my dad when I was 13. A year later my brother passed away as well. The month was February..and for years I haaaated that month. But then my nephew was born in February and a couple years later my niece was born in February..so now we have so many blessings in that month. I knew there was a reason I started following your blog! Thank you for sharing your story! God has a reason for everything and I 110% believe that! Everyday is a blessing!! I know my father and brother guided my wonderful husband into my life..and I know they both walked me down the aisle on June 17 ❤️
  Oh Dede! Wow, this post was so beautifully written. And absolutely had me in tears. Thank you for sharing your testimony. You're going to help so many people!
  Thank you for posting this. It was beautiful and inspiring. You are brave and strong! It's so weird because I'm from that same small town!
  Thank you for opening up and sharing your story!! Love you so much and I know daddy is so proud of you babe!
  Karlie Rae Lang says:
  Dede thank you so much for sharing this post. Your testimony is truly incredible and brought tears to my eyes. Your faith in the Lord is beyond inspiring to me & you are changing lives this very second. Sending love to you! Have a great weekend with your hubby & congrats on the new nephew!! xo
  Kait Stevens says:
  My dad passed away in September, so this truly hit home for me. With that said, Jesus is so good, and He continues to color my days (as I can tell her does does for you, too!). Sending up prayers for both of us!
  Dede, this is SO beautifully written! I can't imagine the courage it has taken to write this, how awesome for you! Isn't God funny? Thanks for the reminder to always trust HIM even in the hardest and darkest hours. Prayers and (((hugs))) to you today!
  Oh my gosh thank you sweet Bridget for reading. You are always so kind. Indeed He is a funny one! Our nephew is being born today too. So crazy!!
  Sending you much love and many hugs of prayers. You are dearly loved not only by our almighty loving God but by many of us who know you and are proud of you. You are way too beautiful inside and outside. Love you precious Deede
  Sharing this requires a lot of courage, you are a brave girl. I am so sorry for your loss at such a young age…I am glad Ted is like a rock support for you! Continue to have faith In Lord and yourself. Hugs!
  Elizabeth Ordonez says:
  This is beautiful! Thank you so much Dede! I feel so open after reading your story. God bless! ✨
  Thank you sweet friend ?
  Thank goodness I have a cubicle at work to hide behind because the tears were flowing! Sending lots of love your way today Deeds and incredibly proud of your trust in the Lord through all situations.
  Haha I love you friend. Thank you boo <3
  Krista Borchard says:
  I'm so proud of you for sharing. I still remember our phone call just days after, and I don't think it's anything I will forget. I still remember walking with you to the entrance of the aisle and being so proud of how you handled and carried yourself down the long aisle to Ted with 350+ sets of eyes on you. I was already convinced the two of you were a match by God, but that certainly nailed it in even harder.
  Krista!! You also were a HUGE part of this testimony and the Lord definetly brought us together during this time. I remember going to pick up our invitations and I'll never forget bawling at seeing Dads name on the invites and you did everything in your power to make it all better. You were always there for us and I am so thankful for that!