What I came to realize is that I had stopped growing spiritually and I was barely being effective in God's Kingdom . God wanted so much more from me but I had succumbed to " The Rat Race " and devoted myself to my work . Don't get me wrong, work is important, but so much more had suffered . My relationship with my wife, my time and service to God and the joy was gone from my life . Through this time of a changed life, where the daily routine of getting up and going to work is a draining physical challenge for me, I've seen myself as battling CES as though my faith, grit and determination were being tested . While they were being tested, that wasn't all . My focus had been on recovering far more than the doctors and physical therapists ever thought I could, further than the medical research said I could . I was going to win my " Battle ".
ខ្ញុំ មិន ចង់ មិត្ត ភាព ដែល បាន ខូច, but it remains that way to this day . For almost a month, I didn’t know how I would feel should my friend ask for forgiveness . Eventually, the hurt receded . This allowed me to align my feelings with my caring for this person . I am now at the point where I can forgive my friend should they ask for it . I can also continue the friendship; ទោះ ជា យ៉ាង ណា វា នឹង មិន ដូច ជា ជិត ស្និទ្ធ ដូច ជា មុន ពេល ដែល... ខ្ញុំ មិន នៅ ចំណុច មួយ នៅ ក្នុង ជីវិត របស់ ខ្ញុំ ដែល ជា កន្លែង ដែល ខ្ញុំ មាន ឆន្ទៈ ក្នុង ការ ជឿ ទុកចិត្ត ឱ្យ បាន គ្រប់គ្រាន់ កុហក ដើម្បី អនុញ្ញាត ឱ្យ ពួក វា ទៅ ក្នុង រង្វង់ របស់ខ្ញុំ មិត្ត ភក្តិ ជិត ស្និទ្ធ. Perhaps I never will be . The really sad part is that I don't think this person has the first clue that they've done anything to hurt me .