I was now in a dreadful condition indeed, and now I repented heartily my easiness with the eldest brother; not from any reflection of conscience, but from a view of the happiness I might have enjoyed, and had now made impossible; for though I had no great scruples of conscience, as I have said, to struggle with, yet I could not think of being a whore to one brother and a wife to the other. But then it came into my thoughts that the first brother had promised to made me his wife when he came to his estate; but I presently remembered what I had often thought of, that he had never spoken a word of having me for a wife after he had conquered me for a mistress; and indeed, till now, though I said I thought of it often, yet it gave me no disturbance at all, for as he did not seem in the least to lessen his affection to me, so neither did he lessen his bounty, though he had the discretion himself to desire me not to lay out a penny of what he gave me in clothes, or to make the least show extraordinary, because it would necessarily give jealousy in the family, since everybody know I could come at such things no manner of ordinary way, but by some private friendship, which they would presently have suspected. But I was now in a great strait, and knew not what to do. The main difficulty was this: the younger brother not only laid close siege to me, but suffered it to be seen.
J'étais maintenant dans une terrible condition, en vérité, et maintenant je me repentis de coeur de ma facilité avec le frère aîné; non par réflexion de conscience, car j'étais étrangère à ces choses, mais je ne pouvais songer à servir de maîtresse à l'un des frères et de femme à l'autre; il me vint aussi à la pensée que l'aîné m'avait promis de me faire sa femme quand il aurait disposition de sa fortune; mais en un moment je me souvins d'avoir souvent pensé qu'il n'avait jamais plus dit un mot de me prendre pour femme après qu'il m'eût conquise pour maîtresse; et jusqu'ici, en vérité, quoique je dise que j'y pensais souvent, toutefois je n'en prenais pas d'inquiétude car il ne semblait pas le moins du monde perdre de son affection pour moi, non plus que de sa générosité; quoique lui-même eût la discrétion de me recommander de ne point dépenser deux sols en habits, ou faire la moindre parade, parce que nécessairement cela exciterait quelque envie dans la famille, puisque chacun savait que je n'aurais pu obtenir ces choses par moyens ordinaires, sinon par quelque liaison privée dont on m'aurait soupçonnée sur-le-champ.