I lived very well, but in a circumstance insufferable in itself. If I had discovered myself to my mother, it might be difficult to convince her of the particulars, and I had no way to prove them. On the other hand, if she had questioned or doubted me, I had been undone, for the bare suggestion would have immediately separated me from my husband, without gaining my mother or him, who would have been neither a husband nor a brother; so that between the surprise on one hand, and the uncertainty on the other, I had been sure to be undone.
je vivais très bien, mais dans une condition insupportable en elle-même; si je me découvrais à ma mère, il pourrait être difficile de la convaincre des détails, et je n'avais pas de moyen de les prouver; d'autre part, si elle m'interrogeait ou si elle doutait de mes paroles, j'étais perdue; car la simple suggestion me séparerait immédiatement de mon mari, sans me gagner ni sa mère ni lui, si bien qu'entre la surprise d'une part, et l'incertitude de l'autre, je serais sûrement perdue.