This was my scheme, and my reasons were good; I was really alienated from him in the consequences of these things; indeed, I mortally hated him as a husband, and it was impossible to remove that riveted aversion I had to him. At the same time, it being an unlawful, incestuous living, added to that aversion, and though I had no great concern about it in point of conscience, yet everything added to make cohabiting with him the most nauseous thing to me in the world; and I think verily it was come to such a height, that I could almost as willingly have embraced a dog as have let him offer anything of that kind to me, for which reason I could not bear the thoughts of coming between the sheets with him. I cannot say that I was right in point of policy in carrying it such a length, while at the same time I did not resolve to discover the thing to him; but I am giving an account of what was, not of what ought or ought not to be.
C'était là mon dessein, et mes raisons étaient bonnes: je lui étais véritablement aliénée par toutes ces choses; en vérité je le haïssais mortellement comme mari, et il était impossible de m'ôter l'aversion fixe que j'avais conçue; en même temps cette vie illégale et incestueuse, jointe à l'aversion, me rendait la cohabitation avec lui la chose la plus répugnante au monde; et je crois vraiment que j'en étais venue au point que j'eusse autant aimé à embrasser un chien, que de le laisser s'approcher de moi; pour quelle raison je ne pouvais souffrir la pensée d'entrer dans les mêmes draps que lui; je ne puis dire qu'il était bien de ma part d'aller si loin, tandis que je ne me décidais point à lui découvrir le secret; mais je raconte ce qui était, non pas ce qui aurait dû ou qui n'aurait pas du être.