Napoleon Factor 

This movie is like Napoleon Dynamite The audience loves it, even though there's actually nothing to it but clichés which literally get the shit beat out of them (as do most things in this movie). 

To be fair, Napoleon Dynamite's bullettime scenes were only in how slow the characters thought. All of them, multiplied together, gets an IQ of less than 50.

Is this the new style? To have something suck so badly (saving special effects) that people can't help but love it? I am going to kill someone; this is the new blockbuster style.

And before anyone starts trying to find out where I live, so they can hunt me down, I will reinforce that crochety old man persona with these parting words:

Pfeh! Bah humbug! Hrmph!

Good day, sir.

...no, nonononononjesusfuckingchristno! Don't say anything. Think first this time.

I said good day, sir.