Q: Where do polar bears vote? A: The North Poll!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: When you go to vote for a candidate, the place that you go is called the poll. Last year my polling place changed from a school to a nursing home; every year, though, I go to the poll to vote.
Polar bears live near the north pole, way up north in the Arctic circle (I could talk about the decrease in the population of polar bears but I won’t). This joke is funny because of the play on words with poll and pole.
I wonder if Santa Claus votes at the north poll too?


Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator? A: I think I’m coming down with something!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: There is a double meaning in this joke: “To come down with something” is to get sick; elevators come down with something- people. When the first elevator says it is coming down with something the listener hears the double meaning of getting sick and going to a lower floor — and that’s funny because elevators don’t get sick.


Q: How do you reach a book in an emergency? A: Call its pager!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: A pager or a beeper is a small electronic device (not used much anymore because so many people have cell phones) that beeps or vibrates and shows the telephone number of the caller or a message from the caller. They are often used in hospitals or other locations where it is important to contact someone and do so with minimal interference.
This joke is funny because books have pages but do not have pagers. You can also reach a book with your arm. Read a good book today!


Q: What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand? A: Cuatro sinko!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: Ah, yes! A bad bilingual joke. Bullfighters are often found in Spanish speaking countries. The number four in Spanish is “cuatro.” If you are in quicksand you are probably sinking down into the sand.
Many English speakers who do not speak Spanish play with Spanish by adding an “o” onto any English word- so “sink” would become “sinko.” Of course “sinko” sounds just like “cinco” which means five in Spanish. This joke is funny to an English speaker who knows a bit of Spanish because the answer sounds like 4, 5 in Spanish as it refers to the 4 bullfighters sinking into quicksand.


Q: Why did Tomás throw the clock out the window? A: He wanted to see time fly!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: “Time flies” means that time seems to pass quickly as in the expression, “time flies when you are having fun.” Of course if you throw a clock then the clock, which shows the time, is flying. This joke plays with the words “time flies,” both the figurative meaning and the literal meaning.
As winter comes to Minnesota, I kind of hope that time flies and that spring comes soon.


Knock, knock! Who’s There?

Explain this joke.

Theodore.
Theodore who?
Theodore is stuck and it won’t open!
Explanation: Yesterday, teddy bears. Today, Theodore: thee-o door. The last part of the name “Theodore” sounds like “door.” If you say the whole name fast it can almost sound like “thee door” or “the door.” This joke is funny because it is not Theodore who is knocking at the door but someone who says the door is stuck.


Q: Why are teddy bears never hungry? A: They are always stuffed!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: After you finish eating you could say, “I am full” or you might say, “I’m stuffed.” Both expressions mean the same thing: you have eaten enough and you do not need to eat any more.
If you were to open a teddy bear you would find “stuffing” inside. Stuffing is the material that makes the bear soft and cuddly. Teddy bears are also known as “stuffed animals,” that is, toy animals that are soft and are full of stuffing.
This joke plays on the double meaning of the word “stuffed.” Of course teddy bears are stuffed! But they never eat anything.


Q:What did the baker say when he found his lost dough? A:“That’s just what I kneaded!”

Explain this joke.

Explanation:“To knead dough” is to push and pull it; that is what you do to the dough before you let it rise. “To knead” sounds just like “to need.” This joke plays on these phrases that sound the same. Do you knead more of an explanation? No, but you might need more of an explanation.


Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it’s over your head!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: “Over your head” can have two different meanings: 1) something is literally above you; 2) something is too hard for you to understand. For example: 1) the ceiling of the room I am in is over my head and keeps the snow off my shoulders; 2) Quantum physics is “over my head” because I do not understand it.
This joke plays on the double meaning of the phrase “over your head.” Get it? Or is it over your head?


Q: When is a baby good at basketball? A: When it’s dribbling!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: “To dribble” the basketball means to bounce the ball as you walk or run down the basketball court. “To dribble” is also to let saliva drop from your mouth. Babies often dribble, that is, they drool, they let saliva or food or milk come out of their mouths.
This joke is funny because it plays on the double meaning of the word dribble; babies cannot dribble a basketball but they dribble all frequently.


Q: Why do scientists think humming birds hum? A: Because they can’t remember the words!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: “To hum” can be to sing, “la, la, la” when you don’t know the words to a song or keep your lips together and make the notes of a song. This joke is funny because hummingbirds don’t really hum; they chirp. They’re birds! I wonder why they can’t remember the words?
Here is a scene where Ingrid Bergman hums a few bars.


Q: Why did the police arrest the turkey? A: They suspected it of foul play!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: “Suspected of foul play” means that the police think you did something illegal. The group of birds that include chickens, duck, geese and turkeys are known as fowl. “Foul” and “fowl” sound the same. This joke plays with the word fowl/ foul and is really a lot funnier if spoken, not read. (A foul is also a mis-play in a sport such as basketball. Isn’t English fun!)


Q: Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner? A: No, you should just have the turkey!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: Another joke that plays with a double meaning. Imagine a conversation like this: “What did you have for dinner?” “I had soup and bread.”
“To have _____ for dinner” is to eat whatever you put in that blank space. Yesterday I had turkey for dinner. I did not have my family, that is, I did not eat my family (thank goodness!).
To “have your family for dinner” can also mean to invite them over to eat dinner with you. That is why the joke is funny. The listener is expecting advice on whether or not to invite the family over for dinner. The answer shows that the questioner had a different meaning in mind. It reminds me of a Twilight Zone episode, To Serve Man.
Happy day after Thanksgiving! And no, I am not going shopping.


Q:Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? A:The outside!

Explain this joke.

Explanation:At first when you hear this joke, the expectation is that the answer will be the right side or the left side, perhaps the top, bottom, front or back. What the listener does not expect is the outside; that answer is too obvious. That is why the joke is funny!
Happy Thanksgiving Day!


Q: What is the musical part of a turkey? A: The drumstick!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: “Drumstick” has two meanings: a drumstick is the piece of wood that a drummer uses to hit the drum and make music; a turkey leg, one that has been cooked and is ready to eat, is also called a drumstick. This joke plays on the double meaning of the word drumstick.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in the United States. Everyday I am thankful!


Q: Why did the bee get married? A: Because he found his honey!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: Sweetie, dear, my love, honey. These are all words/ phrases that a person might use for his or her significant other, for the love of your life. So, when you “find your honey” you find that person who means a lot to you. Then, you could marry that person.
This joke plays on the double meaning of the word honey: a sweet treat made by honey bees and someone who you love. In this case the bee found his honey, his love. The honey he made, is back at the bee hive.


Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail? A: He was trying to make ends meet!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: “To make ends meet” is an expression used when someone is working hard to earn enough money to pay the bills. The word “poor” in “poor dog” can be an expression of sympathy such as “you poor thing” or it can mean poor as in a person with little or no money.
This dog is working to make ends meet by having its mouth grab its tail. If and when the dog bites its tail, its head will literally meet the tail; the two ends of the dog will meet. This joke is funny because it plays with the word “poor” and the expression “make ends meet.”


Q: How did the music teacher get locked in the classroom? A: His keys were inside the piano!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: Well, the word “keys” in this joke has two meanings: 1) Keys are the white and black parts of the piano that your fingers touch when you play the piano; 2) Keys are the pieces of metal that you use to unlock doors. This joke is funny because piano keys are in the piano, they are part of the piano but if you leave the keys to your room in the piano then you cannot get into you room.
Piano teachers need to keep their keys in their pockets and not in their pianos!


Q: Why are graveyards noisy? A: Because of all the coffin!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: A coffin is the box that dead people are buried in. Coughing is the body’s natural response when there is a tickle in the throat and you try to clear it- you cough.
This joke is funny because it plays on the similar sound of “coffin” and “coughing.” In English, many people drop the final ‘g’ sound on words ending in ‘ing.’ That makes “coffin” and “coughing” sound even more alike.
Don’t let your coughin’ send you to the coffin! See a doctor!


Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk.

Explain this joke.

Explanation: To be “pampered” is to be taken care of in a very nice way. Someone might go to the spa to have her nails done and get a massage and we could say, “She is being pampered.”
If you are too pampered or if you expect someone to always take care of you we could call you spoiled. “Spoiled brat” is a common phrase is to refer to a child who gets mad because he doesn’t get what he wants.
Knowing that we get milk from cows we can make the joke that pampered cows give us spoiled milk. The joke is funny because spoiled milk is what you get when you leave the milk out of the refrigerator for a long time and it turns sour, it spoils. It doesn’t come from cows who are getting their nails done at the spa.


Q: What do you call newborn bee? A: A ba-bee!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: Newborn is a word that refers to a baby who has recently come into the world, yes, a baby. A bee is an insect that gives us honey and pollinates plants.
This joke plays on the word/ work part “Bee.” A baby or a ba-bee. Get it? A newborn bee is a baby or a ba-bee; both words sound the same.
One joke a day from now til New Year’s Eve. That is my goal. Thank you for reading and writing to me!!
The title of this post is from a Buddy Holly Song.


Q: What do racers eat? A: Fast food!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: A racer is a person who races, such as a runner or a race car driver. The whole point of a race is to go fast in order to win. “Fast food” is food that you can get at a restaurant like McDonalds: you order the food and they give it to you right away. So if you want to go fast you need to eat food that will give you the energy to go fast, or “fast food.” That’s what makes this joke funny! Of course fast food will not make you fast, fat perhaps, but not fast 🙂 .


Q: What do you get when you cross a bear and a ghost? A: Winnie the boo!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: You already know what a bear is and you already know what a ghost is. But do you know about Winnie the Pooh? Winnie the Pooh is a stuffed bear created by A. A. Milne. Wonderful stories from a long time ago! “Pooh” sounds like “boo.” Ghosts say, “Boo!” Therefore we get Winnie the Boo!


Q: What’s green and sings? A:Elvis Parsley!

Explain this joke.

Explanation:This joke is a play on words- “parsley”, a leafy green used as food, sounds a lot like “Presley” the last name of the famous singer, Elvis Presley. Parsley, Presley, Parsley, Presley, Parsley, Presley- try saying that 10 times fast.


Q: What do you call a scared cow? A: A milk shake!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: When people get scared, frightened, they sometimes shake because of the fear they feel. A milkshake is a drink that mixes (or shakes) together ice cream and milk (sometimes with fruit or chocolate or …). So, if you shake a cow (which would be really hard to do!) you could get a milk-shake. Or if the cow gets scared it could shake itself and the milk that is inside it thereby making a milkshake. Crazy! It could never happen! That’s why it’s funny!


Q: When does a teacher carry birdseed? A: When there is a parrot-teacher conference!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: Parrots like birdseed; they eat it! Teachers have conferences with parents called parent teacher conferences; it is a time to talk to the parents about how their children are doing in school. “Parrot-teacher” sounds like “parent-teacher” and that is what makes his joke funny!


Q: What letter is wet? A:The letter C !

Explain this joke.

Explanation:You see, the letter “c” sounds just like the word “sea” which is another word for the ocean. So, the “C” is wet. See!


Q: Why would a spider be a good baseball player? A: Because it is good at catching flies!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: Spiders catch flies in their webs; flies (fly- singular) are small insects with wings. When spiders build spiderwebs the flies get stuck in them and the spiders eat them. When a baseball player hits a baseball and it goes up in the air to the outfield we say, “the baseball player has hit a fly ball,” that is, the player hit the ball and it flew through the air. The outfielders, the players standing far away from the batter, are waiting to catch the fly balls that have been hit. An outfielder who is good at this is good at catching flies… just like a spider.
Thanks “Tree” for the joke!


Q: Where do football players go before the big game? A: To the Toilet Bowl!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: If someone says, “I gotta go!” that person means, “I have to go to the bathroom.” Imagine someone saying that while squeezing their legs together. Football championship games are called bowl games, think The Super Bowl, The Rose Bowl, … The part of a toilet where one leaves waste is the toilet bowl, the part you see filled with water. This joke is funny because it combines the ideas of going to the bathroom with a bowl game. 11 year olds might love this joke!


Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The elf-abet!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: One elf (singular), two elves (plural). Elves are mythological beings found in stories like The Hobbit or found at the north pole working for Santa Claus. The alphabet is learned by school children in all English speaking schools (and other languages too!). “Elf” sounds like “alf” or “alph,” the first part of the word alphabet. This joke is funny because it plays on the sounds in elf and alph.
Thanks “Tree” for sending the joke.


Q: What do you call a wet fruit? A: A watermelon!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: “Wet” is something that is liquid or has liquid on or in it. For example, a towel gets wet when you use it to soak up water; the street gets wet when it rains. Water is wet because it is a liquid. A watermelon isn’t really wet on the outside (unless it has been rained on or washed) but it does have lots of liquid on the inside. So a wet fruit, is a watermelon. Mmmm!
Soon it will be summer here in the north and the watermelon will start growing again. I can’t wait!
Thanks “Tree” for sending the joke.


Q: Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? A: Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: Well, this is funny because the listener is expecting a real explanation that has to do with adding candles to a cake, perhaps even explaining why we have cake for birthdays. But that is not the answer that the listener hears. The answer is just an obviously funny one! Candles on the bottom of a cake!
Happy Birthday, Ana Maria!


Q: Why did John jump up and down before drinking his juice? A: The box said, “Shake well before drinking!”

Explain this joke.

Explanation: Johnny was sooooooo confused! When the box says, “Shake well before drinking” it is talking about the box, not the boy who is drinking the juice! Shake the box, Johnny!
Shake, shake hands, milkshake, shake your head, shake and bake, shake, rattle and roll, …


Q: What kind of balls don’t bounce? A:Eye balls!

Explain this joke.

Explanation:Bounce is the way a ball goes up and down when thrown to the floor. Tennis balls bounce. Basketballs bounce. Eyeballs… don’t bounce. It would hurt too much if they did!
My break is over… more jokes to come.


Q: Who keeps the ocean clean? A:The mermaid!

Explain this joke.

Explanation:A mermaid is a mythological creature who is part woman, part fish. A “maid” is a person who cleans a house or a hotel. This joke plays on the meaning of the word “maid.” Does a mer-maid do windows?


Q: How did the farmer mend his pants? A: With cabbage patches!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: To mend a pair of pants, such as jeans, is to fix them. If there is a hole in the knee you will need to patch the hole with a patch. Yes, “patch” can be used as a verb and a noun. “Patch” also means a small area of land that is planted with a the same type of vegetable such as cabbage: a cabbage patch. This joke plays on the multiple meanings of the word “patch.”


Q: Why was the king only a foot tall? A: Because he was a ruler!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: A ruler is one who rules, that is, one who is in charge like a king or a president. A ruler is also a stick used for measuring items. In this case a ruler is 12 inches long, a foot long. This joke plays on the double meaning of the work ruler. This joke really measures up!


Q: Why did the lettuce win the race? A:He was a head!

Explain this joke.

Explanation:Lettuce is a green, leafy vegetable like in the picture. When you buy lettuce you buy “a head” of lettuce. The person who wins a race finishes first, that is, the person is ahead of the other. This joke plays on the difference between “ahead” and “a head.”


Q: What did the mommy rope say to the baby rope? A: “Don’t be knotty!”

Explain this joke.

Explanation: When you tie a rope you make a knot. To behave badly is to be naughty (naw- tee); it is a word that is used with small children. “Knotty” sounds like “naughty” and “naughty” is a word that a mommy might use with her child, like in the joke! Be good; don’t be naughty!


Q: What is a whale’s favorite game? A: Swallow the leader!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: Whales are known for eating lots and lots of fish and krill; that is, they swallow them. “Follow the Leader” is a well known children’s game where one personis the leader and the other children have to follow the leader, doing and going where the leader goes. This joke plays on the rhyming words follow and swallow.


Q: How is a baseball team similar to a pancake? A: They both need a good batter!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: The word “batter” can refer to the person on a baseball team who has the bat and is hitting the ball. The word “batter” can also mean the thick liquid that a cook uses to make pancakes. The batter is poured onto the griddle; the cooked batter is called a pancake. This joke plays on the double meaning of the word “batter.”


Q: What goes up and down but does not move? A: Stairs!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: You walk up the stairs and down the stairs. We say “the stairs go up to the next floor” or “the stairs go down to the basement.” That is, the stairs “go” but they do not move! Ha!


Q: Why do bicycles fall over? A: Because they are two-tired!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: Bicycles have two tires, that is, they have two wheels. If a car is four-tired (has 4 tires) then you could say a bike is two-tired (has two tires), although no one would actually say that- except in a joke. This joke plays on the words “too tired.” If you are very tired, too tired, you have no energy. Maybe you would fall over like the two-tired (too tired) bike!
Get some rest!


Knock, knock. Who’s there?

Explain this joke.

Luke.
Luke who?
You look like you want to hear another knock knock joke!
Explanation: You see, “Luke” sounds like “look.” So, youlooklike you want to hear another knock knock joke!


Q: What language does a billboard speak? A: Sign language!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: A billboard is one of those really big advertisements found along roads and on top of buildings; a billboard is a type of sign. This joke plays on the word “sign” which can mean a public, printed announcement that is usually large (like a street sign, a stop sign, a road sign, the name of a store on its facade, …) or it can be the first part of “sign language.” Sign language is a language used by hearing impaired people to communicate. So a billboard (a sign) speaks sign language because it is a sign!
As you work on learning English or learning jokes take some time to learn sign language!


Q: What would we get if we threw all the books in the ocean? A: A title wave!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: A tidal wave is produced by the daily tides, which are caused by the gravitational pull of the moon and sun (officially, it is not a tsunami). Books have titles. The words “title wave” sound very much like “tidal wave.” Read all about it!


Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bull-dozer.

Explain this joke.

Explanation: “To doze” is to sleep, but just for a little bit of time. A bulldozer is a machine that moves dirt. So, a sleeping bull is a bull that dozes or a bull-dozer which sounds like bulldozer!


Q: How do you make a hot dog stand? A: Take away its chair!

Explain this joke.

Explanation:You know what a hot dog is, right? A “hot dog stand” is a small place that sells hot dogs (see picture). This joke plays on the word stand which is also the opposite of sit. If you take away someone’s chair that person has to stand… just like the hot dog in this joke!


Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fsh!

Explain this joke.

Explanation:When you hear this joke you are thinking about a fish with no eye, perhaps a blind fish. What makes this joke funny is that the answer is the sound “fsh” because there is no longer an “i” in the word fish. Ha!!


Q: Why did the girl spread peanut butter on the road? A: To go with the traffic jam!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: Peanut butter and jelly is a common type of sandwich in the United States. Jam and jelly are synonyms (they are not identical but very much the same). A traffic jam is when there are so many cars in one place that the cars are stopped (or moving very slowly). This joke plays with the word jam- the kind that goes with peanut butter and the kind that stops traffic. Ha ha ha!


Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? A: Nacho cheese!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: Nacho cheese is a form of processed cheese sauce mixed with peppers and other spices. It is used to make Nachos, a snack made with tortilla chips and there are many ways to make them. When you say “Nacho” it sounds like “not your.” So, if it’s “Nacho cheese,” that sounds like “not your cheese;” cheese which isn’t yours! Try some nachos; they’re great!


Q: Where do generals keep their armies? A: In their sleevies!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: A general is the leader of an army (singular), so, generals are the leaders of armies (plural). When you put on a shirt your arm goes into the sleeve of the shirt. Often times in English, to make something small you put the “ee” sound on the end- cute becomes cutie, bird become birdie. In this joke arm becomes arm-ee so it goes into your sleeve-ee.


Q: Why did the invisible man turn down a job offer? A: He just couldn’t see himself doing it!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: The invisible man is a book by H. G. Wells and also a movie. If you are invisible no one can see you. This joke plays on the phrase, “I can’t see myself doing…” which means you can’t imagine doing something, such as taking a job. What is something you can’t see yourself doing?


Q: Why did the computer keep sneezing? A: It had a virus!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: When someone is sick that person may sneeze. A virus is a really small thing, smaller than a cell in your body, that can make you sick. So, a virus can make you sneeze. A virus is also the name of a computer program that does something bad to your computer (or uses your computer in a way that you do not want it to). This joke is funny because it uses the word “virus” in two different ways. Wash your hands!


Q: What do you get when you plant kisses? A: Two lips.

Explain this joke.

Explanation: You use your lips to kiss someone, that is, you use two lips: your upper lip (the one below your nose) and your lower lip (the one above your chin). The expression “plant a kiss” means to kiss someone deliberately. There is a flower called a tulip (sounds the same as two lip) which is typically planted in the fall and blooms in the spring. This joke plays on the sounds of “two lips” and “tulips.” Happy almost Valentine’s Day!


A roundhog What’s green, has four legs, and jumps out of its hole on February 2?

Explain this joke.

The ground frog!
What would you get if you crossed February 2 with a puppy?
Ground-dog Day!
Explanation: All three of these jokes play with sounds: “roundhog” sounds like groundhog; “ground frog” sounds like groundhog; “ground- Dog” sounds like groundhog. And a puppy is a baby dog.
Sorry about being two days late for Groundhog’s Day… or is it Groundhog day? What a silly holiday!


Q: What’s a tornado’s favorite game? A: Twister!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: “Twister” is a synonym of tornado; they mean the same thing. Twister is also a game that has been around for a long time. This joke plays on the double meaning of the word Twister: another name for a tornado and a game. Click on the link to see people playing Twister.


Q: The turtle took two chocolates to Texas to teach Thomas to tie his boots. How many Ts in that? A: There are 2 Ts in “That“!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: The question confuses the listener by having a sentence with so many of the letter “T”. While you are distracted trying to count Ts, the real question comes- How many Ts in “That”? Well, in the word “that” there are only 2 Ts: one at the beginning and one at the end. Got ya!


Q: Why did the music teacher need a ladder? A: To reach the high notes.

Explain this joke.

Explanation: Ahh, yes! The high notes! When one goes up, like in an airplane or up a ladder, one is going up higher. The child cannot reach the cookies because they are up high. High notes are the ones more to the right on a piano; in science the larger the Hz the higher the note. But high notes are not up high; that’s why this joke is funny!


Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A towel!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: A towel is used to dry something like a plate or your hands. As the towel dries your hands the towel, which was dry, becomes wet. It is not the towel that is becoming dry, it is your hands that are becoming dry. This joke is funny because it plays on the opposites of wet and dry. How could something get wet as it dries?


Knock, knock! Who’s There?

Explain this joke.

Ash.
Ash who?
Bless you!
Explanation: Ash who? Sounds like “Achoo!” “Achoo” is how the sound of a sneeze is written in English in the United States. So when the asker asks “Ash who?” it sounds like Achoo! And if someone sneezes you say “Bless you!”


Q: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? A: Because she ran away from the ball!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: Cinderella went to that fancy dance party in her fancy dress. That fancy dance party is called “a ball.” So is the sphere that soccer players kick- a ball. This joke plays on the word “ball.” And soccer players can’t run away from the ball!


Q: What did the 0 say to the 8? A: Nice belt!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: The number zero sees an eight and thinks it is just like me, a zero, so it must have a belt. Numbers thinking crazy thoughts! That’s funny!
HIlarious my children loved it and they laughed SO HARD!!!!
dis is a stupid joke. i still don’t get it.
Me parece una absoluta tontería, carece de todo sentido matemático, no veo la relación del cero y el ocho , que el ocho ¿puede ser dos ceros unidos,? si, pero lo del cinturón es puro desvarío mental.
Funniest joke in Ohio


Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7, 8, 9!

Explain this joke.

Explanation:If you read the numbers is sounds like seven-eight (ate)-nine. And if I were 6, I, too, would be afraid of seven if it is eating other numbers, such as nine! Seven ate the nine!


Q: Why did the child study in the airplane? A: He wanted a higher education!

Explain this joke.

Explanation:Higher education: that means studies beyond high school such as going to the university. Higher education does not refer to altitude, like studying while high in the sky; that’s why it’s funny.


Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A. Frostbite.

Explain this joke.

Explanation: This is a common type of joke that is funny because you cross (combine) one thing with another (usually two things that do not go together). In this case a snowman (like Frosty the Snowman?) with a vampire (that bites people). Funny! Click this link to learn more about Frostbite. Frost is the ice that is formed on the ground when the temperature goes below freezing.


Q. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? A. It let out a little wine!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: Wine is made from grapes. Traditionally (that is, a long time ago), grapes were “pressed” by stepping them ( did you see the scene in A Walk in the Clouds?) to get the juice out. “Whine,” which sounds the same as “wine,” means to complain a little bit about something. A child might whine about having to eat something he or she doesn’t like; you might whine if someone stepped on you, kind of like the grapes in the joke.


Q. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? A. They don’t have the guts.

Explain this joke.

Explanation: To “have guts” is to be brave. If you “don’t have the guts” to do something it means you are scared to do it. “Guts” are your innards, your internal organs (heart, lung, liver, …). This joke plays on the idea that skeletons don’t have guts (they are nothing but bones so they have no internal organs), or are they scared. The double meaning of the word “guts” makes this joke funny.


Q: What did the water say to the boat? A: Nothing, it just waved.

Explain this joke.

Explanation: “Wave” is what you do when you move your hand as if saying hello. “Wave” is also the name for a way the top of the water moves: the raised part of the water that moves toward the shore is a wave. This joke plays on the word “wave” and is funny because the water waves (as if saying hello) while the water has waves (the raised part of the water).


Q. Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea? A. Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!

Explain this joke.

Explanation:This joke plays on the words seagull (a bird) and bagel (a round bread shaped like a donut). There is no such thing as a bay gull but there is a bagel and both sound the same- that’s why it is funny!


Q: What is black and white and red all over? A: A newspaper!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: This joke plays on the word red/ read. “Red” is a color, like black and white. “Read”(pronounced “red”) is the past tense of read (every day I read, yesterday I read). When your brain hears red after hearing black and white it assumes that the speaker is talking about colors. In this case the speaker is talking about the past tense verb read. A newspaper is black because of the ink and white because of the paper. It is read all over because you can read it anywhere in the world. Funny!


Q: Why was the broom late? A: It over swept!

Explain this joke.

Explanation: Brooms are for sweeping; one reason that people are late is because they over sleep. “Sleep” in the past tense is “slept” (everyday I sleep, yesterday I slept). “Slept” rhymes with swept (swept is sweep in the past tense- everyday I sweep, yesterday I swept). This joke is funny because the expected answer is “It over slept” not its rhyme, “It over swept.”


Q: How does a Snowman get to work? A: By icicle.

Explain this joke.

Explanation: Take a look at the answer- by icicle. If you say the two words quickly you get the word bicycle. An icicle is ice that is formed by dripping water, like ice that hangs off a roof in the winter. Again, here the funny part is playing with the words “by icicle” and “bicycle.”


Q: Where does a snowman keep his money? A: In a snow bank.

Explain this joke.

Explanation: This joke plays on the word “bank”. A bank is a place where people keep their money; a snowbank is a pile of snow (which is not a good place to keep money!).
Snowbank
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- Bank


Cathy from Minnesota offers this joke… Knock, knock

Explain this joke.

Who’s there?
Turnip
Turnip, who?
Turnip the heat, it’s cold in here!
Explanation: This joke plays on words turnip/ turn up. A turnip is a vegetable; “turn up” is what you do to the heat when it is too low (you can also turn up the radio, …).


Q.What runs around a soccer field but doesn’t move? A:A fence

Explain this joke.

Explanation: This joke plays on the word “runs”: A person runs; a fence runs around, that is, goes around, an area like a soccer field.


Knock, knock. Who’s there?

Explain this joke.

Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and you’ll find out!
Explanation: Knock-knock jokes play with words: words that sound the same but are different or words that have more than one meaning. In this joke the jokester is playing with the words “let us” and “lettuce.” It is funny because the listener assumes the word is lettuce.


Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to the other side.

Explain this joke.

Explanation:The answer to this joke (“To get to the other side”) is so obvious, something everyone knows, that it is funny because it is silly, perhaps even stupid. Why else would you cross a road except to get to the other side?