Next steps for (not me): a recently-divorced single mom, in California, with a 2yr-old
She should call 211. This is exactly how they help. The 2-1-1 service is run by the United Way, a nonprofit organization. The 2-1-1 service strives to be a clearinghouse for services within a local area.
Has the monitoring stopped now that you are at a new bank?   Presumably it has. If it has stopped, then let it go.  Its your mom and while the relationship might be somewhat dysfunctional, it is the only mother relationship you have.  Do you really want her criminally prosecuted?  She may have done you a favor by pointing out the security loop holes present in your old bank.  Thanks mom! Since you ask.... How do I do it? My frugality doesn't come from budgeting or even half so much from keeping money away from myself (though mostly-one-way retirement accounts help). It's a matter of world-view. Spending and shopping for things you don't need is a vice. Limit your indulgence in it. I've also made wasteful purchases in my life. When I find myself considering buying something that I don't really need, I ask myself whether it will end up like... like the stupid eyeglass cleaner gadget from the Sharper Image that I used twice. Or the Bluetooth earpiece that spent 98% of its time lost and .02% of its time in my ear. Or the little Sony VAIO laptop which was great on the train, but probably cost 8 times as much as an EeePC and didn't do way too much more. (In my defense on that one, it was just before netbooks were really taking off... but I still felt bad about it the next year). I've also got two savings goals. The first is responsible and very big (financial stability: a year's expenses plus money for a down payment on a house. a California house. in a good neighborhood.) The second is personal and just medium-big (a large musical instrument). I've decided not to spend money on the second until I'm financially stable and I have enough money to take care of the first... so that makes me more willing to scrimp and save to pursue the first than I would be otherwise. Advice for others? Ask yourself: Why are you buying that thing? You can survive without it, can't you? You didn't need it a week ago, did you? Does the old one have holes in it or something? Or will you at least use it regularly, for years? Why aren't you buying the cheaper kind? Or buying it used? &gt;Dollars to donuts... I'd be willing to bet you have a pretty good boss there.  ...and she (my boss) left 6 months later for a better job. Now I report to a clueless idiot. He has no experience in our industry but was hired because he was part of the good old boys referral network the CEO has going on. He spent his time flipping companies for living prior to that.  Now the veneer is starting to come crashing down, despite me trying to make my boss look good for these past ~2 years. He's desperately trying to find a corporate controller (interviewing) to dump his mess onto as I type this. People external to the department are starting to gather he's all buzz words and power points and no substance. We were bought out by a bigger company recently and he can't hide behind his usual bullshit.  My new boss dropped the bombshell today that the girl who was in my position 3 years ago (but quit and took a managers job at a rival company through connections) in now a candidate for the corporate controller position. His reasoning hinged almost completely on the justification that she is already well like here and is familiar with the company. The girl doesn't even have a college degree. Let alone a masters. She left a tax mess on her way out that I've spent the last 3 years trying to fix from an administrative standpoint. Apparently the guy who kept my boss from looking like a total idiot (me) isn't worth mentoring up to the next level. But some random person with no college degree (but connections), and holes in her understanding of our line of work is a serious candidate for a promotion.   It's amazing to watch the bad decisions compound themselves into bigger and bigger problems. My boss inherited a relatively well oiled accounting department and turned it into an audit nightmare. He doesn't know half of what goes on, on a daily basis but feels the need to change processes arbitrarily without understanding WHY we do what we do and how it relates to our industry and external compliance, let alone GAAP.  It's quite apparent this ship is sinking. I'm trying my best to get off it now as of today. Trying to promote someone with less work experience and education over me was the last straw. The only good decision he made was realizing this girl's resume is a bunch of titles with no substance and realizing she wasn't a serious candidate, an hour after pissing me off calling me into a meeting to announce the joyous news. "If my wife and I tried this, we'd call it grounds for divorce. However, I think most long term couples actually do this, and it is just a budget.  It is common practice for two spouses to deposit money into a single checking account.  All of the household expenses are then paid from that single account.  Same as you describe: if I spend money from the joint checking that is less money available to my wife. Based on your dollar amount, I'd have to say great work on thinking about saving early on in life.  I think though, if you are actually starting out, getting into the habit of saving a ""dime of every dollar"" would be more beneficial. At some point your income will increase, and when it does so should your savings.  By ""paying yourself first"" your savings will keep pace with your spending and you will be a happier person when you income starts to fall again." This is an all too common problem and is not easy to resolve. Divorce agreements do not alter prior mortgage contracts. Most importantly, the bank is not required, and will not normally, remove the girlfriend from the mortgage even if she quitclaimed it to her Ex. If he has abandoned the property there is a good chance he will not make any more future payments. She should be prepared to make the payments if he doesn't or expect her credit to continue to deteriorate rapidly. She needs to contact her divorce attorney to review their mutual obligations. A court can issue orders to try to force the Ex to fulfill the divorce agreement.  However, a court cannot impose a change to the mortgage obligations the borrowers made to the bank. Focus on this. It's far more important than adding her to a car loan or credit card. Sorry for the bad news. As for the car loan, it's best to leave her off the loan. You will get better terms without her as a joint owner. You can add her as an additional driver for insurance purposes. Adding her to your credit cards will help her credit but not a lot if the mortgage goes to default or foreclosure. It would be quite the trick for (a) the government to run all year and get all its revenue in April when taxes are due and (b) for people to actually save the right amount to be able to cut that check each year. W2 employers withhold the estimated federal and state taxes along with the payroll (social security) tax from each paycheck. Since the employer doesn't know how many kids you have, or how much mortgage interest, etc you will take deductions for, you can submit a W4 form to adjust withholdings.   The annual Form 1040 in April is to reconcile exact numbers, some people get a refund of some of what they paid in, others owe some money.  If one is self-employed, they are required to pay quarterly estimated taxes. And they, too, reconcile exact numbers in April. Nope I live in Orange County. I get to put away some savings no lie but even still it's not like I'm driving a Tesla or BMW.   No student loans that are out of control although I did pay off my education loans a bit fast but I only got stuck with those after dropping out and being unemployed for over a year.  Learned to code and it helped a lot. Afterwards I had a bit of a personal fall out with drug and alcohol abuse when someone close to me passed away and since lifted myself up but it's not been easy because rent for a 1bedroom 600 sqft is around 1200-1500 here. After taxes I'm taking home maybe 2,2k plus car payment insurance personal insurance since I own my own business and being young and single means I get raped by taxes for whatever reason. Did you account for college? That's 40k per year in tuition alone. Also I'm not sure you accounted that the number included income forgone, as in if they weren't taking care of the kids they could've been earning more money. The article says the cost to *parents* is 900,000 per kid, but that doesn't mean the parents are actually spending 900,000 per kid.   Lots of other things to account for...a couple w/o kids doesn't need to get a 4-bedroom house for example. Does your co-worker own a house? Did you account for the cost of ownership?