How to spend more? (AKA, how to avoid being a miser)
"I spend hours researching two comparable products to try to save $3. Me too! I have also argued for hours with customer support to get $5/month off a bill (that's $60/year!), and I feel guilty every time I eat out or do something remotely luxurious, like getting fries with my $1 McChicken. Geez, even when I play video games, I hate spending the in-game currency. For me, it's obsessive-compulsive traits that cause it, but please note that I'm not claiming @Eddie has them. Just speaking for myself here, but I hope it helps. I still struggle with my miserliness, but I can share what works for me and what doesn't. I don't think I'm valuing my time nearly as much as I should. Me neither, but knowing that doesn't help; it makes it worse. For me, putting a dollar amount on how much I value my time does not work because that just complicates the problem and amplifies how much time I spend solving that multi-variable optimization problem. Consider trying to convince Monk not to avoid germs in order to build antibodies; it just makes him think more about germs, raising anxiety and making easy decisions (use a handkerchief to touch doorknobs) into a hard decision (should I touch it or should I not?). It also amplifies the regret whenever you finally make a certain choice (""what if I did the calculation wrong?"" or ""what if I'm going to get sick tomorrow because I touched that doorknob?""). Making the problem more complicated isn't the solution. So how to make it simpler? Make the decision ahead of time! For me, budgets are the key to reducing the anxiety associated with financial decision making. Every six months or so, my wife and I spend hours deciding how much to spend per month on things. We can really take our time analyzing it because we only have to do it occasionally. Once we set $50/month for restaurants, I no longer have to feel like a loser every time we eat out -- similarly for discretionary spending and everything else. TBH, I'm not sure exactly why it works -- why I don't regret the dollar amounts we put on every budget -- but it really does help. I join my coworkers for lunch on Fridays because I already decided that was okay. At that point, I can focus my OC-tendencies on eating every last gram of organic matter on my plate. Without directly touching the ketchup bottle, of course. :) Again, just speaking for myself, but having budgets has done wonders for my stress level with respect to finances. For me, budgets are less about restricting my spending and more about permitting me to spend! It's not perfect, but it helps. (Not that it's relevant, but I reworded this answer about 20 times and only hit 'Post' with great effort to suppress the need to keep editing it! I'll be refreshing every 30 seconds for updates.)" The key question is this - What brings you happiness? How much is this behavior actually making you miserable?  It's possible, and important, to find balance between frugality and as you say, being a miser. It's also important to understand the diminishing return, and to value not just your hour of time but your happiness-hour. By this I mean there's a distinction between an hour arguing with a customer service rep and spending an hour on a project yourself. There are countless people who push a lawn mower around every Saturday even though they have the money to hire a mowing company. Fresh air, exercise, quiet time, for them it makes sense. We pick and choose.  The happy mower is in a good place. The miserable mower who hates doing it and just won't spend the money, not so much.  Frugal simply means not wasteful, but it can be misunderstood to mean cheap. When our brand of TP is on sale, I'll use coupons, and stock up. Unless you visited and peeked into a cabinet, all seems normal. A visit to a friend's summer home taught us the value of packing a few rolls for a weekend visit into the unknown. Her cheap brand was like sandpaper and every item in her house was a strange brand I'd never heard of, including food items well beyond expiration. She took cheap to a new level.  In the end, this question is less about finance than about psychology. "Unless your stinginess has reach truly compulsive levels, it should be enough to consciously remind yourself of the value of your time when you make purchase decisions or find yourself chasing minor savings. Another way might be to deliberately give yourself a monthly or weekly budget that you're allowed to ""waste"" on luxuries and conveniences without worrying." There was a study last year -- it was all over the news -- that concluded that experiences, not stuff, is what makes people happy. The satisfaction from going on vacation lasts even after the holiday is long over. That new gadget only gives fleeting satisfaction. To that end, I recommend splurging on the affordable luxuries that give you a better experience. For example, I'm a big believer in paying the skycap a few dollars to check my bags at the curb rather than wait in line at the airport because I HATE airports. Valet parking is another affordable luxury when the alternative is circling a busy parking lot for 15 minutes. Pay for the better seats at the show. Get a room at the nicer hotel. Eat out a bit more often. I can't imagine willingly spending hours with customer support, though. They can have my $5. "I agree with JoeTaxpayer's answer.  The question you should be asking is not ""how do I spend more"" but ""how do I become happier"".  From what you say, it may be that you could increase your happiness simply by cutting back on these aggressive attempts to save a few bucks here and there. At the same time, if you do this, on some level your personality is probably not the type that would allow to simply ""forget it"".  I think many frugal people are somewhat as you describe: they don't like wasting money.  In such cases, often what matters is not so much the actual saving money as the feeling of saving money.  Therefore, I'd suggest that you take a look at which of the ""money-losing"" activities you mention are really worth it. The easiest ones to drop would be things like the home-improvement project, which even you acknowledge does not save you money.  If you like saving money, give yourself a pat on the back when you hire the contractor.  If you want, run the numbers so you can ""prove"" to yourself how much money you are saving by not doing the work. For some of the other things, it may be that spending time to save a small amount can ""gamify"" an everyday experience and make it more interesting.  For instance, comparing products to save a few bucks is not necessarily bad unless you actually don't like doing it.  If spending a few hours comparing two toaster ovens on Amazon or whatever makes you feel good, go for it; it's no worse than spending a few hours watching TV.  By acknowledging that you get something out of it --- the feeling of getting a bargain --- and savoring that, you can feel better about, and also potentially ""get it out of your system"" so that you won't feel the need to do it for every little thing.  We all have our little pet obsessions, and it's possible to acknowledge that they're irrational, while still accepting them as part of your personality, and finding a way to satisfy them in a controlled manner that doesn't stress you out too much." Do you plan a monthly budget at the beginning of each month?  This might seem counter-intuitive, but hear me out. Doing a budget is, of course, critically important for those who struggle with having enough money to last the month.  Having this written spending plan allows people struggling with finances to control their spending and funnel money into debt reduction or saving goals.  However, budgeting can also help those with the opposite problem. There are some, like you perhaps, that have enough income and live frugally enough that they don't have to budget.  Their money comes in, and they spend so little that the bank account grows automatically.  It sounds like a good problem to have, but your finances are still out of control, just in a different way.  Perhaps you are underspending simply because you don't know if you will have enough money to last or not. By making a spending plan, you set aside money each month for various categories in three broad areas: Since you have plenty of money coming in, generously fund these spending categories.  As long as you have money in the categories when you go to the store, you can feel comfortable splurging a little, because you know that your other categories are funded and the money is there to pay those other bills.  Create other categories, such as technology or home improvement, and when you need an app or have a home improvement project, you can confidently spend this money, as it has already been allocated for those purposes. If you are new to budgeting, software such as YNAB can make it much easier. How much is your time worth This has been useful for me, judging things based on how much their time value is worth to me, weighted more heavily than their actual worth. For instance, there was a time when I used to work on the weekends and pay to have my laundry done. Doing the laundry myself would have cost 25 cents, but taken two hours at least. Since I was making $45 an hour, I would have lost $90 dollars by doing my laundry, instead of paying specialists $28 to do it for me, much better than I would. Your own capital should begin growing at a rate that makes many MANY things worth less than the time it takes for you to entertain it. So in your cable bill example, you shouldn't have argued for a $5 credit for two hours, unless you make $2.25 an hour, after tax. This is simplistic, as you would extrapolate how much this would cost you over a year or two, but such cost benefit analysis' become easy with this simple concept. This can also be used to rationalize your lavish expenditures. Such as not really comparing the costs for a flight, because its a 2 hour flight for $400 and you've found yourself making at least $200 an hour with your $416,000 annual earnings and capital gains. This will cure your frugality while retaining safe guards on your spending. "It took me a very longtime to learn that I no longer need to live like a starving student... and even now I live like a well-off student. And that's OK -- my needs and tastes are mostly simple. There's no reason to spend just for the sake of spending... but if you want something, and really can afford it after setting aside savings for retirement and emergency funds and basic operating capital, go for it. It may help to pick out a specific thing you want, or want to replace. My ""rules"" used to say that i was always allowed to spend money on books, music, and needed tools. Then i convinced myself that shelves are tools for storing other things. And that furniture is shelving for people. And that art, if it really speaks to me, is akin  to books. And that a decent instrument is a tool. And that my time has value, so sometimes it's less expensive in real term to throw money at a problem rather than scheduling my life around it. One step at a time, with all the steps making sense. I will still spend entirely too long agonizing over minor purchases, at times -- but that's about convincing myself that I like the choice I'm making, not about the price  per se. Meanwhile, saving means you can buy things later without having to borrow. The semi-student routine , and waiting until i was ready to buy,is why i had the value of a house in my investments when i was ready to buy one. And is why I'm almost at my target number for retirement well before my planned retirement date. One other thought: if you're comfortable buying gifts for others but don't tend to spend on yourself, you aren't a miser -- just frugal." "@pyb is right - you should put an hourly dollar value on your time.  Calculate a realistic number and keep it in the back of your mind. Then when you're looking for a discount or a saving, estimate the maximum amount that you'd be able to save.  This should be a realistic proportion of the value of the item.  From those figures you can get the maximum amount of time that you should spend on looking for that discount. Spend any more than that amount of time and you lose money even if you get the discount.  So then you can end up with a few rules-of-thumb like ""don't spend more than x minutes of time per dollar of possible savings"".  Then you can spend the spare time you've created on looking for savings on big-ticket items where the time is more efficiently used... or on studying to upgrade your earning potential... or on taking some time out to enjoy the world and sniff the flowers. :)" here is what I have learned with multiple close encounters with bankruptcies: ask yourself.. what if I save vs what if I spend? say you like a new shirt.. ask yourself what can you do saving $40 vs rewarding yourself/your well wishers right away? you will end up spending. just like you the other person needs money. he/she is doing a work. ask yourself what if you are in his/her situation. you would obviously want others to be happy. so spend. I think these two should be good. I must add that you should NOT be wasteful. Eg.. buying a handmade shoes vs corporation made shoes? choose handmade one because it fits above two. buying a corporate one would be more polluting and less rewarding because you just gave your money to someone who already has lots and cares least about you. in what way are you saying mortgage is good? I see that as a waste. you can pay back your mortgage only when someone takes even bigger mortgage (check with some maths before refuting)... in other words you have taken part in ponzi scheme.! I would suggest making a house vs buying one is better spending. finally spending is a best saving.. don't forget that you are getting money only because someone is spending wisely. stop feeding your money to corporates and interests and everyone will have plenty to spend. "People who choose ""good enough"" (satisficers) tend to be happier than people who choose ""the best"" (maximizers), see link.  So decide you want to be a satisficer for most decisions, and then work at it: deliberately limit the amount of time you spend on a small decision, and celebrate a non-optimal decision.  Decide to be good to yourself, and say it out loud.  Practice the skill." Hehe, I feel your pain.. well, 'pain' isn't really the feeling though is it.  I was unemployed for several years when I was younger, and I loved it. It taught me 2 things: you need to be careful with your money, and you don't need money to be happy. I loved the freedom, the carefree attitude I had to the world, the ability to do many things not constrained by having to spend all day in an office, to be with my mates a lot. If your problem is that you are being too miserly ($3 researching better product... we all do that, though not for $3 except on ebay sometimes) then put a cost on your time. If it took you 3 hours to research the $3 saving, and your time is worth even just $10 an hour to you, then you've not saved anything. You've wasted 'money'. If, on the other hand, you're more worried about hoarding money and being unproductive and a bad social citizen, get involved in investing it instead. Let someone else put it to good use, whilst giving you some return. "Ultimately, money derives its value from being spend on a good or service. Investing it is an act of denying your present-self a good or service so that your future-self can obtain (hopefully more) goods or services. Investing is a sensible and responsible default position, but you clearly have passed the point at which the opportunity cost of the dollar not spent today is greater than its benefit in the future. Not all dollars are the same. Remember that money is a temporary store of value but you have to spend it to realize that value. In your search, learn about the ""psychology of money."" What are you saving it for? How much do you want left over when you die? If you die tomorrow, will you regret not having spend a little more? I'm sorry to get morbid on you, but saving for the future requires answering the question ""How long?"" and it's never forever. This may be tangential but it shaped my behaviour towards money nonetheless: Frank Zimbardo on The Psychology of Time. I would hazard a guess and say that you land in the future-oriented camp." Time is money. If those hours spent researching to save $3 made you a better profit than you would have otherwise had buying the more expensive product and using the rest of the time to make more than $3, then you came out on top. If you consider this general premise in every spending decision you make, you should always feel that you made the right choice. Maybe minimalism is an option for you. Make your self clear what you really want You only buy what you really need and for that you spend the money. Then there is no point of saving money, i.e. I for example like to invite friends and cook them some fancy diner with expensive products, but the value I get from that exceeds any money I spend. On the other hand most present are the opposite, they have less value to recipient than what they originally have costs.
You can fairly simply make a spreadsheet in your favorite spreadsheet application (or in Google Docs if you want portability). I like to make an overview page that shows how much I take in per month and what fixed bills come out of that, then break the remaining total into four to get a weekly budget. Then, I make one page per month with four columns (one per week), with each row being a category. Sum the categories at the bottom, and subtract from your weekly total: voila, a quick reference of how much you can spend that week without going over budget. I then make a page for each month that lists what I bought and how much I spent on it, so I can trace where my money's gone; the category total is just a summation of the items from that page that belong in that category.  Once you have a system, stop checking your bank balance except to ensure your paycheck is going in alright. Use the spreadsheet to determine how much you can spend at any time. Then make sure you pay off everything on the card before the end of the month so you don't incur interest. yes, the really good weed requires a bit of know how to grow properly... but i have known and hung out with people that grow plants, and i have been to their houses and they have shown me how they trim and clip things, and they show me how they put a light to trick the plant into thinking that it is still daylight out, etc...  but in the end, weed aint worth what is being charged for it...  no way...  i am in texas now, and the price here is similar to what i paid at the weed club in california, in cali i paid a mininum of ten dollars per gram and it was possible to spend approx forty dollars per gram, and i think that they even had some that was more than that...  but i want to promise you that your average joe can figure out how to get his plants growing just fine, especially when all he has to do is to trim and water it, as opposed to having to give some criminal ten dollars for enough to make a couple of cigarettes/joints of it.  fk paying for weed.  and, just for the record, i dont really give a fk why people pay for cigarettes.  cigarettes are just plain retarded. "Just what exactly are you trying to do here?  Are you trying to defend Susan being the Chief Information Security because she could not learn Systems security?  &gt; and a C-level position requires administrative and personnel management skills and understanding of security policy, not specialized technical engineering knowledge of protocols, cryptography, etc.  Are you assuming or biased that any real security expert cannot do administrative and personnel management?   Trust me that if you can master the latest security protocols, you can do mundane ""administrative"" and ""personnel"" things.  Further, you can have great human and presentation skills.  &gt; (And not database lol.)  You also have no clue about security. FYI, all data is sitting in databases. And if you do not organize the databases correctly, you have no security. For example, social security numbers, masked, cannot be in the same database as personal information. Instead you have a pointer from the personal information the record of the socials security numbers in another database.  And just these two databases make life miserable for hackers because they have to steal data from two databases and correlate each one to the other.  So I know MUCH MUCH more than you about security. Don't challenge me in that respect.  &gt;&gt; she has no clue about security.  &gt; When have I ever defended her actions?   Just above, and constantly since day one.  &gt;&gt; So give me a possible way how Susan got her job.  &gt; Five years at HP, a year at Sun Trust Banks, four years at First Data Corporation  Do you realize that after she got her music degree, all those positions you listed she was ""Vice President""?  So again, how does Susan get all her jobs and titles? What could possibly be that she has such a meteoric rise in the corporate level? Pure talent and skills?  &gt;&gt; If contractors are more expensive than in-house employees, nobody will use contractors.  &gt; omg where to start. I'll just chalk that comment up to inexperience and lack of understanding of total staff costs over time.... point out that employees cost more over time, demonstrating the benefit of using contractors...)  Exactly! Contractors are cheaper than in-house staff which is what I said. Thanks for confirming that.  And you said that Contractors get paid more. No they are not, except real experts and almost exclusively in IT field." The two are closely related. A budget is a detailed plan for how to spend. Expense tracking is a tool to analyze your previous spending performance. Creating a plan for how to spend your money without any record of your previous spending--is an empty promise to yourself that you will never follow up on. Did I stay within my budget? Doesn't matter, I didn't track the spending anyway. Even if you do plan to track your performance, if you have not previously done so, you won't have a good basis for how much to expect in each category.  Most people have a general idea of how much they have spent and many budgets are formed based on that general intuition, but they are often surprised when they track how every penny is spent and look at the totals from month to month and over years. By actually seeing how much has been spent it's easier to pick the big financial drains and target them for reduction, if your desire is more savings, for example. I know people who keep a close eye on what they spend each month, but they don't allocate money in categories for the next month. They don't perform as well on reducing spending, but they often don't care. They feel like they make enough and they save enough, so why worry? I also know people who create an unrealistic budget each month because they haven't done a good job tracking their previous spending. They know what the monthly bills are, but they don't account well for variable or cyclical expenses  like repairs, Christmas, etc. Both tools are essential for maximizing your own personal finance. "Trying to figure out how much money you have available each day sounds like you're making this more complicated than it needs to be. Unless you're extremely tight and you're trying to squeeze by day by day, asking ""do I have enough cash to buy food for today?"" and so on, you're doing too much work. Here's what I do. I make a list of all my bills. Some are a fixed amount every month, like the mortgage and insurance premiums. Others are variable, like electric and heating bills, but still pretty predictable.  Most bills are monthly, but I have a few that come less frequently, like water bills in my area come every 3 months and I have to pay property taxes twice a year. For these you have to calculate how much they cost each month. Like for the water bill, it's once every 3 months so I divide a typical bill by 3. Always round up or estimate a little high to be safe. Groceries are a little tricky because I don't buy groceries on any regular schedule, and sometimes I buy a whole bunch at once and other times just a few things. When groceries were a bigger share of my income, I kept track of what I spent for a couple of months to figure out an average per month. (Today I'm a little richer and I just think of groceries as coming from my spending money.) I allocate a percentage of my income for contributions to church and charities and count this just like bills. It's a good idea to put aside something for savings and/or paying down any outstanding loans every month. Then I add these up to say okay, here's how much I need each month to pay the bills. Subtract that from my monthly income and that's what I have for spending money. I get paid twice a month so I generally pay bills when I get paid. For most bills the due date is far enough ahead that I can wait the maximum half a month to pay it. (Worst case the bill comes the day after I pay the bills from this paycheck.)  Then I keep enough money in my checking account to, (a) Cover any bills until the next paycheck and allow for the particularly large bills; and (b) provide some cushion in case I make a mistake -- forget to record a check or make an arithmetic error or whatever; and (c) provide some cushion for short-term unexpected expenses. To be safe, (a) should be the total of your bills for a month, or as close to that as you can manage. (b) should be a couple of hundred dollars if you can manage it, more if you make a lot of mistakes. If you've calculated your expenses properly and only spend the difference, keeping enough money in the bank should fall out naturally. I think it's a lot easier to try to manage your money on a monthly basis than on a daily basis. Most of us don't spend money every day, and we spend wildly different amounts from day to day. Most days I probably spend zero, but then one day I'll buy a new TV or computer and spend hundreds.  Update in response to question What I do in real life is this: To calculate my available cash to spend, I simply take the balance in my checking account -- assuming that all checks and electronic payments have cleared. My mortgage is deducted from my checking every month so I post that to my checking a month in advance. I pay a lot of things with automatic charges to a credit card these days, so my credit card bills are large and can't be ignored. So subtract my credit card balances. Subtract my reserve amount. What's left is how much I can afford to spend. So for example: Say I look at the balance in my checkbook today and it's, say, $3000. That's the balance after any checks and other transactions have cleared, and after subtracting my next mortgage payment. Then I subtract what I owe on credit cards. Let's say that was $1,200. So that leaves $1,800. I try to keep a reserve of $1,500. That's plenty to pay my routine monthly bills and leave a healthy reserve. So subtract another $1,500 leaves $300. That's how much I can spend. I could keep track of this with a spreadsheet or a database but what would that gain? The amount in my checking account is actual money. Any spreadsheet could accumulate errors and get farther and farther from accurate values. I use a spreadsheet to figure out how much spending money I should have each month, but that's just to use as a guideline. If it came to, say, $100, I wouldn't make grandiose plans about buying a new Mercedes. If it came to $5,000 a month than buying a fancy new car might be realistic. It also tells me how much I can spend without having to carefully check balances and add it up. These days I have a fair amount of spending money so when, for example, I recently decided I wanted to buy some software that cost $100 I just bought it with barely a second thought. When my spending money was more like $100 a month, lunch at a fast food place was a big event that I planned weeks in advance. (Obviously, I hope, don't get stupid about ""small amounts"". If you can easily afford $100 for an impulse purchase, that doesn't mean that you can afford $100 five times a day every day.) Two caveats: 1. It helps to have a limited number of credit cards so you can keep the balances under control. I have two credit cards I use for almost everything, so I only have two balances to keep track of. I used to have more and it got confusing, it was easy to lose track of how much I really owed, which is a set up for getting in trouble." Budget out the amount you save and owe per month. Make sure that amount doesn't stay liquid, invest it, send it out. Make it go away. Learn to live in the rest. If you still have some left over then enjoy the impulse buying (why not).   Second rule, try to payout your credit cards every month. Obviously, there are many approaches. I’ll describe what we do and why we think it is successful. I have seen many couples having disagreements and even divorce over money; it seems that this is a typical reason to fight and sometimes fight badly. The realization is that different people have different preferences what to spend their money on, and if you are not rich, it continuously leads to disagreements - ‘did you really need another pair of shoes?’, etc. Our solution is a weekly allowance. First, all our money goes into one pot and is considered equal. Many couples find that a difficult step, but I never thought twice about it - I trust my spouse, and I share my life with her, so why not my money? From this, we agree on an ‘allowance’ that is used to cover any non-common cost; this includes all clothing, dining out, buying things, etc. The amount was chosen to match about what we spent for those things anyway, and then adjusted annually. The main point is that there is no critique allowed about what this is spent on - you can blow it all on shoes, or buy books, or wine and dine, or gamble it away, whatever. We are doing this since 23 years now, and we are very happy with the results; we never have financial ‘fights’ anymore. Disadvantages are the effort - you need to keep track of it somehow. Either you use a separate credit card, or hand it out in cash, or have a complete accounting (I do the latter, because I want to). Regarding all other spend, we use the accounting to plan ahead for at least a year on all cost and income that are expected, and that shows us the available cash flow and where it might get tight. It also shows you where the money goes, and where you could cut if cutting is needed (or wanted). Again, there is some effort in collecting the data, but it is worth it (for us). After talking to two CPAs it seems like managing it using an imprest system is the best idea. The base characteristic of an imprest system is that a fixed amount is reserved and later replenished as it runs low.  This replenishment will come from another account source, e.g., petty cash will be replenished by cashing a cheque drawn on a bank account. Petty cash imprest system allows only the replenishment of the spend made. So, if you start the month with €100 in your petty cash float and spend €90 of that cash in the month, an amount of €90 will be then placed in your petty cash float to bring the balance of your petty cash float back to €100. The replenishment is credited to the primary cash account, usually a bank account (Dr - Petty Cash a/c, Cr - Bank a/c) and the debits will go to the respective expense accounts, based on the petty cash receipt dockets (Dr- Expense a/c, Cr - Petty Cash a/c). In a non imprest system where a fixed amount is issued every month, e.g., €100 every time cash is required, there is no incentive to ensure all money issued has been documented because when money is all spent a check for a fixed amount is issued. It is much more difficult to reconcile a non imprest system as you never know how much exactly should be in the float. In an imprest system the amount requested is documented, the documentation being the petty cash dockets and their associated receipts or invoices. So at all times you can check how much should be left in the petty cash float by deducting the amount spent from the opening petty cash float.