Gond and Gripping Life By The Tongs
[Reading the introduction to this 'religious' text, it's
clear the author had a dirty thesaurus handy. For some reason she's also written in phonetics, as if she were dictating to a team of terrified scribes.] Right, ya rump-fed rabbit-stewards of the shitebin, here's a fact for your cap. Gond be the finest o' the big Gods. He dunnae fuck around witha wee teensy back-an- forth o' the miniscule Gods. He forges pal, and he dunnae truck with tartly dogberries. Know how I know? His servants are fuckin' hard and I mean log-up-the-arse hard. Live by t'anvil, die by t'anvil. Great artisans, even in that cockthroating heap o' gargle, Baldur's Gate. In that city, the Gondians have built Steel Watchers, huge buggers tah keep th'peace. Marvel they are. First time I saw one, almost passed oot from sheer fuckin' delight, so I did.