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How to help a financially self destructive person?
You say you're not on speaking terms: so you do it via your lawyer. You're divorced: so IMO your obligations are: a) To your kids  b) Purely financial spousal support (if any) If she's irresponsible financially then maybe she isn't the best able to care for your children. Your lawyer ought to be able to tell you what the alternatives are (it's very state-specific so no general advice from the Internet, but if your lawyer can't do that then IMO you need a different lawyer who has more experience with divorce/custody cases).