Utilize your financial knowledge, give your answer or opinion to the input question or subject . Answer format is not limited.

How to help a financially self destructive person?
Wow.  Just ... wow. We all must start where we are, I guess.  The past is the past. There almost certainly isn't a cheap way to fix this.  You're already on the hook for $4k per month.  Your money is enabling her behavior.  You'd rather not enable her behavior, but the money is part of the consequences of your divorce, so into her bank account it goes. Those who control how much alimony your ex-wife receives might reach the conclusion she needs more.  That's not a hard conclusion for them to make.  It's not their money. The living conditions are hurting your kids, and that's unfortunate, but that's also part of the consequences of your divorce. If it's deemed that your kids are better off not visiting her, then you might be relieved of paying child support (since you're supporting them at that point) but you might still be supporting her until some trigger is met, which might be never.  (You know those details better than I do, of course.) If she's already lost her house, filed for bankruptcy, borrowed money from people that she hasn't paid back, and gets a check from you each month and still has utilities shut off, she'll continue to deteriorate financially until she hits rock bottom.  Then, and only then, will she see the need to fix her behavior. Now, the (possibly) million dollar question for you is, "Where is rock bottom?" Do what you can to make that happen sooner rather than later, because you'll likely be subsidizing her all the way down, and part of the way back up.  You've lost most of the leverage you once had to change her behavior, but try every way you can.  You might hit the jackpot.