• From asking about sex toys to threatening
to murder a family, the Planet Dolan crew
re-enact some of the best true stories from
our subreddit about the weirdest phone calls
we’ve ever gotten.
I’m Hellbent – or – Melissa and today
I’ll be your narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by Grogeba Spinalpalm
Back when Spinalpalm was in 5th grade, he
answered the phone to some dudes using a nondescript
Mediterranean accent, asking about whether
or not his pizza had been delivered.
He was home alone, and he definitely hadn’t
put in a pizza order.
He promptly let the guys on the other line
know.
They started to get upset, saying that he
was lying to them and was trying to get out
of having to pay them.
Spinalpalm kept nervously telling them, “I
have no idea what you’re talking about.”
It was then that they began their rant on
how seriously they took their work, mentioning
how pizza was a very serious and important
part of their lives.
They described in vivid detail how they would
gently make the pizza dough, massage I t,
make love to the sauce, rub the pizza all
over their bodies, and then sleep with it.
Spinalpalm managed to out weird them with
some ridiculous replies and got them to hang
up.
It’s still a phone call that he will never
truly forget.
Number 9 was submitted by Phyzo Grgak
Grgak was going to a local convenience store
to get some superglue for his 3D-Printing
business at school.
As he was about to leave his house, some random
person called.
He said, "Hello, friend.
Would you like some dildos or sex toys?
Or do you need directions to a nearby strip
club?"
Being only 10, Grgak innocently asked, "What's
a dildo?"
The man then noticed how young he was and
said, "Um...
YOUR MOM WOULD KNOW!"
Then he hung up.
Grgak was confused, so when he got to the
store he asked the manager, "What's a dildo?"
She then got a really funny smile on her face
and turned bright pink.
She said, "You'll learn later on."
When Grgak got home, he was still really confused,
so he looked it up on the computer.
He realized why those guys were being so weird.
Number 8 was submitted by RoyalFlushKing MKyleM
Two years ago, MKyleM was sitting at home,
playing games on his phone when it started
ringing.
He didn't recognize the number but answered
it anyway.
All he could hear was someone breathing into
the phone.
MKyleM said, "Hello?"
Whoever it was knew his name, and he could
tell it was a prank call so he asked, "Who
is this?"
The person replied with, "I fucked your mom,"
trying to use a deep voice.
MKyleM said, "What are you talking about?
My mom’s dead."
This stopped hi m in his tracks.
He started stuttering, "Wha- wait… uh, n-no
she's not ummm"…
Before he could finish replying, MKyleM yelled,
“WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with you, you insensitive
piece of shit?
Who the fuck are you?
I'm about to get the police you fucking bastard!"
The man started to panic.
He said, "Wait, WHAT?
Umm… uh, agh… no AGH!"
With that, he hung up and MKyleM never found
out who it was, but him and his mom laughed
about it later.
Number 7 was submitted by Slaveofmycat Doopie
While Doopie was working as a clerk in a grocery
store's bakery department, she got a phone
call.
The person on the other end couldn't have
been older than 6.
The child asked, "Why are y'all's cake prices
so high?"
Doopie explained, “The corporation sets
the prices, not the individual store.”
Then the kid said, "Well, me and my family
are going to shop at Walmart from now on."
Not willing to beg a kid to stay, Doopie said,
"OK."
Then there was silence for two seconds.
Then, a manly woman yelled, "YEAH, WELL, YOU
SOUND LIKE A BITCH!" and immediately hung
up.
Number 6 was submitted by Believe_In_nope
Snewpee
Snewpee was at home texting her friend when
she got a call from an unknown number.
She answered it, and it sounded like a guy
much older than her.
The guy said, "Hey Claire, I wanted to meet
up later, when is a good time?"
Snewpee explained to the man he must have
the wrong number, and that she wasn't Claire.
He apologized and ended the call.
Three minutes later he called again, but said
in a creepy tone, "I'm going to murder you
and your entire family, and then cover you
all in shaving cream," Needless to say, Snewpee
hung up and didn't come out of her room for
a while.
He kept calling until around midnight, then
stopped and never called since.
Number 5 was submitted by KenTheNoun Pringle
A few years ago Pringle was sitting in his
room when the phone rang.
It was a number he didn't recognize, but picked
it up anyway.
When he answered, a middle-aged sounding woman
came on and said, "Hi, who's this?
Is Thomas there?"
Pringle said, "Wrong number," and she hung
up
Later on, his phone rang again and it was
the same woman asking for "Thomas".
Pringle said, "No, you have the wrong number.
Who is this anyway?"
In an angry tone, she said, "His mother!
Why do you have his phone?"
Pringle sighed and said, "No, this is my phone.
This has been my phone and phone number for
at least a year.
I don't even know a Thomas.
You got the wrong number."
She read off the number she thought she was
calling to prove her point, and it wasn't
even remotely close to Pringle’s phone number.
He told her the number she was actually calling,
and then she hung up.
A minute later, she called again and Pringle
answered it.
He said, "Me again," hung up, and blocked
her number.
Number 4 was submitted by thelegendarytoaster
Honeybits
One time, Honeybits saw her sister leave her
room and go into the bathroom.
She told her to never touch her phone but,
being the child she was, she went into her
room and saw that her phone was vibrating.
Honeybits picked it up and said, "Hello?"
She heard a voice say, "We are going to have
so much fun babe.
First, we drink, then we go into my bedroom
and… you know."
Honeybits freaked out because if she told
her mom, her sister would hate her forever.
So, she never did.
Her boyfriend was drunk and thought her voice
was her sister’s, so Honeybits hung up and
put the phone back on the bed.
She walked out of the room quickly, having
learned a lesson: to never touch her sister’s
phone again.
Number 3 was submitted by Pink_Toasters_Please
Cid
The weirdest phone call Cid ever got was when
a random person called and said, "Hi, this
is Pandora from Pornhub.
Uhmm, you owe us 112 dollars from watching,
‘White amateur blonde girl getting brutally
fucked’, please put your payment onto..."
But Cid said, "Uhhhmmm, I don't watch porn?"
She said, "Oh, is this CivilSpider?"
He said, “No.”
Then she said, "Oh, I apologize for this mix
up.
I'm hoping this won't happen again.
Have a good day, sir!"
When the call ended, Cid screamed to his friend,
CivilSpider, “Civil, why were you watching
porn?”
He scared the living shit out of him.
Number 2 was submitted by Beat_da_panda69
Andiemations
After Andie and her boyfriend, Adam, just
got done doing the deed, she got a call from
an unknown caller.
He said, “Are you home?”
Andie answered, “Yes.”
The caller said, “That was a nice show,”
then hung up.
About 5 minutes later, a rock crashed through
her window.
He called again, but Andie only heard him
breathing.
Suddenly, the power went out, and she got
yet another call.
The caller said, “I see you.”
Then Andie got a text on Facebook from an
unknown user… and it was a picture of Andie
in the dark, with a hand in the corner of
the screen holding a knife.
Then she got a call, and he asked, “Wanna
play?”
At that point, Andie lost her shit, so she
called 9-1-1.
After that, he called again, and said, “Big
mistake.
Look out your living room window.”
Just then, she heard an upstairs window break.
A few minutes later, the cops arrived but
didn’t find the guy.
Number 1 – What was the weirdest phone call
I’ve ever gotten?
