Wha-?
im on pyrocynical's channel
WOW (yes wow indeed)
what a great honour finally this collab is happening
i've been waiting so long (yea goddamn right you have)
i love pyro's content
it's like watching my videos just... slightly different (excuse me? :0)
*awkward silence*
the internet is not, something you just dump something on,
the internet is not-
the internet is not a du(mping) truck,
the internet..
i-i-i-its
A SERIES OF TUBES
yes guys, we did it
we finally got pewdiepie on the pyrocynical channel
*cheer* it-its a glorious day
but for real, me and him have done a "collab"
which you will see near the end of the video (>3<)
i was gonna do it at the start, but i need to up the watch time alright (10MINUTES)
th-that's all youtube cares about anymore-
also it goes without saying,
if you're new to the channel, feel free to click on the subscribe button (CLICK IT)
PLEASE. i am-i am BEGGING
*rock music*
*rock music* GAWDI !
the SONIC movie-
the most EPIC movie
now if you don't know, the sonic film got announced recently
they released a poster-
it wasn't-it wasn't too great...
YOOOOOOOO
i wanna ask you guys, how do you feel about this image
what does it make you FEEL
resentful
speed
speed *chuckle chuckle*
i-i was looking on twitter right-
and there was literally a guy, who in 5 minutes on photoshop, made the official poster look better
look at the one on the right-
oh yeah, it looks like the classic sonic too-
yeah it looks so much better compared to the original
he just looks so skinny
and like, he ain't got that protein (amen brother)
no like they gave him real fur, like LIKE LOOK AT HIS LEGS
they gave him real hands too, he doesn't have the gloves
what's up with the nub? on where his eyes are supposed to be
i like how they put uhhhhhhh-
they put from the producer of fast and furious
because they thought to themselves:
what's fast? CARS
what's also fast? SONIC
IT WORKS.
i-i gotta get uhhhh, my vegan food, hold up
what does that even mean? a new speed of hero
*wheeze chuckle*
yea, a whole new speed of hero (?? what)
you know that apparently, JIM CARREY is voicing over dr. eggman?
no- he's not voicing over, it's live-action, he's gonna BE dr. eggman
i can't tell whether you're fu-king with me or not now-
i'm not fu-king with you, the movie is live-action
*wait wtf my life is a lie*
are you serious?
it's gonna be straight up jim carrey in a dr. eggman costume-
SONIC, IM HAVING ANOTHER MENTAL BREAKDOWN (same pyro same)
SONIC DID YOU KNOW GAMERS ARE THE MOST OPPRESSED MINORITY??
eggman's like entire vendetta or a plan in the entire film is
to aim a ray at the planet that makes all gamers rise up-
he aims a ray at the planet that eliminates all CHADS
*strange laughter*
you know like sonic has both the blur fur and like the-the skin?
in the scene eventually wh-where he has to take his shoes off, i-i want really, i want 
 five toes- SHUT UP
*wheezes* NO.
wh-what's wrong with a little bit of feet you know?
yo matthew, do you got any other images to add about sonic, any other sonic memes
no
oh great, that was great, i'm so happy you are in the call matthew-
you really did contribute SOOO much to this
it definitely wasn't just me and ed talking, when you went to get food
you came up to me, you held me and gunpoint and was like-
you're doing this
well i did a pretty shit job of holding you at gunpoint if you just walked out the room to get vegan food then didn't i
yeah
l-look at this
ah th-that's horrible, is that a muppet?
wait, i'm trying to find like if like there are any set pictures of jim carrey in costume
pls don't.
please, i hate the fact that that is even a thing
can this be the thumbnail?
*fu-king evil ass laughter*
people are hyped that there's gonna be a sonic movie, and that's great,
but honestly,
i'm still waiting on the minecraft movie,
and the FNAF movie...
*markipoo screaming*
because those are the films, i really care about.
"you're not a gamer, unless you watch a gamer movie"
*the more you know meme music*
the word gamer has just been ruined... URGH
*hype ass music*
TUMBLRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
guys, this is so sad
tumblr, got rid of all NSFW art... (oh dang will really miss dil hentai)
this is so sad :(
so recently tumblr's updating their terms of service,
it's getting rid of all like, 18+ NSFW art
now, some people have done a bit of digging
and they didn't just do this to look better on the internet or up their cred-
apparently, there's this new law being introduced, called SESTA and FOSTA.
now these rules are kinda terrifying
much like Article 13
it has good intentions
but because the contract is so poorly worded
it negatively affects everybody
if you're an artist that draws explicit artwork,
you're gonna get hit by this PRETTY BADLY
they're gonna be censoring explicit content
so you can no longer say that you are a top, unfortunately (stop projecting pyro we all know you're a bottom)
the correct phrase would be:
"i will assume the verticle position..
..m'lady"
also for some reason this law empowers people to go onto sites,
and mass flag them to get people in a bunch of legal trouble,
AGAIN, it's a very dumb contract,
i'll leave some links down below in the description
so you can read more up on it
and to any americans watching,
the nation of LOVE,
PEACE,
and FIREARMS.
there's a way to contact your congressman
if you choose to do so
meanwhile everyone else just sits at home and cries because BREXIT is uhhhh...
*thinking of a quip*
what is brexit? (underwhelming)
*what you fu-king doing*
now this is a tweet that's been circulating around
and you know if a tweet has more than 10 likes,
it has reached normie twitter -_-
normie twitter is the WORSE. THING. ever created,
it's a mix between stan accounts and
stan accounts.
don't do it ok?
jus-just
quasimodo,
stay in your bell tower.
so this tweet blew up,
and it's this guy and his mates harassing this doordash guy
if you don't know what doordash is, it's kinda like uber eats, or something, for anyone that isn't in america
and they keep harassing this guy for money he can't pay,
because he was meant to deliver food,
and they didn't have the food,
and the app is meant to refund it,
but they just harass the guy that delivered the food.
"i'm not gonna give you the money, doordash will give you the money back for the order."
"can i get a 10?"
so the guy gets peer-pressured,
gives the money away,
and it's very apparent that he's been made uncomfortable in the situation.
even going so far to say it himself.
*fiddle fiddle wallet fiddle fiddle*
"guys, this is making me really uncomfortable ok?" (this guy sounds like jimmy neutron)
i think what hurts the most is that
this has 65000 likes, (wtf pyro do you even maths)
because the way i see it, when you like something on twitter,
you agree with it. (amen)
if you don't agree with it, you reply to it.
i wish there was a dislike button,
i really wish there did
but unfortunately, twitter doesn't allow opinions.
now, some people with 3 working synapses replied,
saying how messed up this was,
ganging up on this guy.
and he makes a tweet saying:
"Apology video on instagram"
promoting his instagram to get a bit of clout,
and you go on the instagram,
and it's literally just him, flexing on the toilet
*flushing sound*
there's no apology whatsoever.
and if you wanna add more insult to injury!
he's begging a guy for like 4 dollars
and in his profile picture, he's flexing 100s (hunnit grand on my wrists)
he's literally, lil tay, but 2 years older.
*PEWWPEWPEWPEWWWWDIEPIE*
now these last 2 stories involve,
everyone's best friend,
you know him,
pewdiepie (ma man)
the man who steals ALL MY CONTENT.
so pewdiepie did an OOPSIE, a couple days ago,
he promoted a few channel at the end,
the video's over
but if you guys wanna, keep watching.
you can subscribe to...
James Lee
he does incredibly cool, videos ahhhh he's an animator. check it out. (stop whining pyro)
he didn't promote me..
which was VERY STUPID but, :<
i'll allow it.
and out of all the channels he promoted,
one of them was HATEFUL
i could never imagine a world where youtube could have MEAN people
i-i couldn't
*epic music* (what's good logang)
yea so pewdiepie promoted E;R
yea he does do great analysis
on films that are considered to be
kind of bad.
like uhh
death note on netflix
remember that?
and f-for some reason they are making a sequel...
jesus christ (my lord and saviour)
"how are you"
"been better..
..how about you?"
"not bad"
"good to hear"
"good day"
and the thing is, it's kinda irrelevant what your opinion on E;R is,
what hurts more is the fact that
the Verge or any kind of article,
has just used this really weak excuse to write an article on pewdiepie
i mean, i feel sorry for felix at this point,
because he's getting an article wrote on him pretty much every 5 minutes now, (tf is that grammar)
also E;R got a bunch of backlash, which was unfair,
he had a bunch of videos that were age-restricted, demonetised,
he appealed them, got them back up,
but obviously because they've had journal coverage,
youtube have got to double down.
his other videos targeted, some taken down,
age-gated (?), which is really unfair
because he has appealed, and the system has let him through,
AGAIN, it's irrelevant what your opinion is on him,
youtube gave him a pass,
but because of the media,
they've had to go: (in stupid pyro wavy voice)
it's great that mainstream media is dying,
but it still has so much influence over youtube,
TV isn't dying man (in stupid squirrel voice)
we have family guy at 10pm
i love pewdiepie
kill me please (gladly)
LAST STORY (urgh finally i'm getting tired of typing your unoriginal content)
and this is my collab with PEWDIEPIE
so i wanted to do a collab with pewdiepie,
where you know, we jump up and down
have a lot of fun (only you pyro, only you)
maybe react to some funny children (what are you? ricegum?)
or some funny images on the internet
"how's it going bros my name's PEWWWWWDIEPIE"
*taser sound*
*gasoline pouring over my sad fu-king life*
*sound of my sleep schedule burning to the ground*
"what a fu-king-.."
*kick 1*
*kick 2*
it'll be a great time,
but unfortunately,
i b(r)ought pewdiepie here today
there is something really stupid going on with the site at the minute,
and that is called, UMG (ur mama gay)
or Universal,
Music,
Fuckouttamyass
UMG is a music label,
and recently,
they've started poaching a lot of youtubers,
"there's a small issue..
..on youtube right now"
"small in quotes"
1 second or 5 seconds of a song,
or even a milisecond,
they'll claim you instantly.
that used to be the case,
but what they're doing now,
is starting to claim youtubers,
even though they don't use the song at all..
*memey music yay*
one thing that happened was with all the tiktok videos,
i had to stop making tiktok videos,
because all my videos would just get claimed a day after by them (UMG)
what's the point of making a video
if you get no money from it
(yea it did)
what i'm trying to say is,
we have bills to pay alright,
i don't have a gofundme or a patreon,
i-i-i barely do sponsored videos,
i like money (we should take this out of context)
because i like to keep the lights on ok?
ah ah
no not the li-
no for god- ah
now i gotta do another sponsored video
yea so UMG will just go claiming you,
even if you haven't used a song,
it doesn't make sense
they don't understand what fair use is,
UMG saw that opportunity,
and claimed everyone's videos.
they claimed pewdiepies,
they claimed i hate everything,
they claimed dolan dark,
they claimed me,
even though i never used the song,
i made it an active mission,
to not play audio from the actual youtube rewind,
unless it was people talking,
but no,
UMG still claim it.
and one thing i hate about them as well,
they know exactly how to game the system.
when you apply for a counter-review,
like, someone claims you rvideo, you don't agree with it,
you counter-claim.
firstly, the system's broken.
because, one:
the counter-claim goes to the person who filed the appeal.
it doesn't go to youtube.
so that's kind of pointless.
and secondly,
they have 30 days to respond,
and all the revenue in the mean time is held in a little pot,
so whoever wins the debate,
gets the revenue
UMG know this,
so they get their little employees to wait until the 29th day
and deny it anyway, so they can hoard all the revenue.
*groans of despair*
now obviously, that isn't big news coming from me,
so i'm gonna get my friend,
my best mate,
pewdiepie (gloria borger)
to give his own take,
on why UMG
are the equivalent of vultures.
UMG is very bad. (indeed)
not good (an intellectual)
*elevator music ?*
they will claim,
all the revenue,
in the entire video.
it doesn't even matter if the music is completely irrelevant to anything
uhhhh
they will take the revenue.
and they will shut down your claim.
no matter what.
i guess it's harder to claim fair use on a song when you're not really altering the song
but it's annoying to see this happen because,
all it does, really, is make people share the song less.
that's just my opinion.
passing the question on, to you guys
what do you think?
leave a comment down below
thanks for this opportunity pyro. (hell ye)
i REALLY appreciate it <3 (but no homo tho)
finally we collabed
*applause*
thank you so much pewdiepie,
that was great!
i'm also happy to announce guys,
pewdiepie got a real job :) (what about you pyro huhhh)
now this is epic
why do i only have 75 million subscribers..
anyways, hope you enjoyed the video,
sorry it got a bit ranty at the end,
i just really, personally dislike UMG
and thanks a lot pewdiepie, (for) being in the video,
i don't know if you guys know him, he's quite a small youtuber,
i'll leave a link down in the description to subscribe to him.
he's on about 70 subs, *chuckle*
let's get him to a 100 subs by 2019.
if you enjoyed the video,
please subscribe (to pewdiepie)
every subscription is me getting closer to making petscop 2 (that's a lie)
uuuuu that's it
that's what i'll do
that's what i'll say
i'm gonna get 10k subs today man
*outro music*
epic music
