Hey you!
Tired of going around with a naked neck?
Oh!
Good heavens!
SHE’S NUDE!
HOW INDECENT!
Hi!
I’m Douglas MacKrell, and what you need
is a Bill Cipher Amulet!
They’re guaranteed to make you more attractive
and popular!
Don’t believe me?
Then ask this completely real customer!
I’m clearly not the same person, and I love
this thing!
Now I know what you’re thinking: “Isn’t
invoking a powerful dream demon by crafting
and wearing his image dangerous?”
Yeah!
It is dangerous, stupid!
AWESOMELY DANGEROUS!
Bill Cipher Amulets come in Gold, Silver,
Glow-In-The-Dark, and limited edition Angry!
Be the first person on your block to collect
all four!
On sale now at the Royal Order of the Holy
Mackerel’s store for just 15 American dollars!
Get yours today!
Bill Cipher Amulets are a choking hazard so
do not feed them to babies, side effects from
use include: dizziness, nausea, diarrhea,
delusions, illusions, screaming heads, night
terrors, nightmares, daymares, loss of vision
in the right eye, temporary or permanent loss
of body, spontaneous pregnancies, dry mouth,
miner’s lung, bugs everywhere, glue deficiency,
eternal servitude, and forfeit of soul.
Becky I’ve always loved you and I’ve never
had the guts to say it.
Supplies are limited, otherworldly powers
not included, Order now!
This amulet won’t give you rashes.
I repeat: it won’t give you rashes!
