
English: 
This is the Gilles Villeneuve Circuit.
*My home track!*
Named after the father of an undeserved world champion.
*Just like a corner on Brands Hatch*
It's also named after Gilles Villeneuve,
because the circuit can literally throw you out-
(Chris is criticized by an angry and easily triggered legion of multiple Chris' from alternate dimensions for that last joke)
(Pissed Chris from a dimension where Schumacher is never a world champion): Hiss!
Oh, lighten up, will you?
(Chris from a dimension where CookProductions1 has 100,000 subscribers): Boo.
("Robot Wars" theme plays)
(For the mind-numbingly same long-ass time, no less)
*I watched your video to see racing and comedy!*
*Not necessarily in that order!*
(beep) Round 7,
Canada!
The top 3 are as exactly as you'd expect it to be.
The only difference here is that David Coulthard got pole position.
Giancarlo Fisichella takes 4th, and to be honest, I quite like him.
*I wonder if you're still gonna be saying that in 2005*
I wouldn't have liked him if I had… literally hung myself in Monaco.
(beep) So here we are.

Spanish: 
Este es el circuito Gilles Villeneuve
 
Llamado así por el padre de de un inmerecido campeón mundial.
 
Está nombrado también por Gilles Villeneuve,
porque el circuito literalmente te puede lanzar fuera.
-voces de desaprobación-
 
Que no es para tanto, eh?
 
 
 
Ronda 7
Canadá!
El top 3 es exactamente el que podrían esperar.
La única diferencia es que David Coulthard logró la pole position.
Giancarlo Fisichella larga 4to, y para ser honesto, me cae bien.
 
No me caería bien si literalmente me hubiese colgado en Mónaco.
Aquí estamos.

Spanish: 
Esss Montreal en la casa!
Coulthard, Hakkinen y Schumacher tienen buenas largadas.
Schumacher pasa a Hakkinen por el 2ndo mientras que Fisichella va algo peor pero logra mantener posición.
El pelotón batalla por posiciones-
SANTO JESUS, ESO FUE GRANDE!
Por suerte, Alexander Wurz está bien.
Pero en serio, EN SERIO, no debe tomar más consejos de Ayrton Senna.
REINICIO
Coulthard arranca bien, pero Hakkinen hace la "gran Nico Rosberg" en la primera curva.
Un Jordan hace un trompo embarullando a todo el pelotón
Jarno Trulli pasa por encima de jean Alesi!
 
No sabía que esos dos... intimaran así.
 
Mika Hakkinen sorprendentemente está fuera del GP de Canadá, por vez primera en esta temporada...
 
Oh Dios mio. Está....
finalmente ocurriendo!
 
Schumacher y Fisichella luchan por la punta al llegar a la curva cerrada a la derecha que da a la recta.
Schumacher va por fuera y pasa a Fisichella por el 2ndo puesto, justo a tiempo también,
 
porque el auto de seguridad justo sale inmediatamente después que Schumacher adelanta.
Pocas vueltas después se va el auto de seguridad y la carrera continúa.
Vuelta 13, Pedro Diniz hace un trompo y junta un montón de polvo.
 

English: 
Issha boy, MC Montreal in the house!
Coulthard, Hakkinen and Schumacher all get very strong starts.
Schumacher takes 2nd from Hakkinen, while Fisichella lacks behind, but manages to keep his position.
The midpack starts to squeeze together for position-
HOLY JESUS, THAT'S A BIG ONE. (beep)
Thankfully, Alexander Wurz is okay.
But he really, really, REALLY needs to stop getting advice from Ayrton Senna.
(beep) (Tango music plays)
Coulthard has a good start, but Hakkinen does a Nico Rosberg coming into the first corner.
One of the Jordans spins, causing the midpack to squeeze up again.
Jarno Trulli goes on top of Jean Alesi!
*I needed that image, thanks*
I- did not know those two… were that intimate.
(beep)
Mika Hakkinen surprisingly goes out of the Canadian Grand Prix, and the first time this season so far..
*Payback for Melbourne!*
(stunned) Oh, my… God, is…
…it's finally happening!
(beep)
Schumacher and Fisichella battle for the lead as they come into the tight right hander coming onto the straight.
Schumacher goes 'round the outside and takes 2nd away from Fisichella, just in time, too,
*You just said they were battling for the lead*
*When will the lies end, Chris?*
because the safety car was just about to come out, right after Schumacher overtook him.
The safety car comes in a few laps later and the race continues.
Lap 13, Pedro Diniz spins and collects a whole load of dirt.
*Well, his driving skills are appealing as dirt, so it makes sense*

English: 
And as he rejoins the track he was spreading dirt all over the race track, once again deploying the safety car.
*Goddamnit, Pedro*
Unfortunately, Diniz didn't notice the dirt he'd been spreading until the Arrows team brought Diniz in.
*What a pillock*
The race restarts on lap 17.
Everyone seems to stay in the same posi-
OH MY GOD, COULTHARD'S SLOWING!
*What a day McLaren is having*
Schumacher is now leading!
*Where he rightly deserves to be*
Okay, okay,
*I know, it's a lot for ME to take in as well*
okay, NOW I know people were saying, the season('s) exciting,
because THIS… IS… EXCITING. (beep)
Salo goes out, Herbert goes out, FRENTZEN GOES OUT,
WHAT IS HAPPENING?!
It turns out that Frentzen was finishing the "lext" lap,
and Michael Schumacher was coming out of the pits at the same time
and Schumacher pushed Frentzen out of the racing line and into the gravel trap.
*You see what happens when you try to fuck with Michael, Heinz?*
Shout out to anti-michael-schumacher.com. (beep)
Jacques Villeneuve, the 1997 world champion goes on the attack for the lead,
and MIRACLE OF MIRACLES, he succeeds,
but not before going into the gravel trap. (beep)
So far, Fisichella 1st, Michael Schumacher 2nd and Damon Hill 3rd.
(giggling) This is one of the greatest races I've ever witnessed!
*Wait 'til we get to Spa*
Now, can Jacques Villeneuve take back those places?
*He's Jacques Villeneuve, what are you on about?*

Spanish: 
Y al volver a pista desparrama el polvo sobre esta, teniendo que salir el auto de seguridad nuevamente.
 
Desafortunadamente Diniz no nota que ha estado desparramando hasta que lo llama el equipo Arrows.
 
La carrera reinicia en la vuelta 17
Todos parecen mantener las posi-
OH DIOS! COULTHARD ENLENTECE!
 
Schumacher está en la punta!
 
Ok ok,
 
Ok, Ahora ya se porqué la gente decía que la temporada era excitante.
porque ESTO...ES...EXCITANTE.
Salo está fuera, Herbert está fuera, FRENTZEN ESTÁ FUERA
QUÉ ESTÁ PASANDO?!
Parece que Frentzen iba acabando su vuelta,
y Michael Schumacher salía de los pits al mismo tiempo
y Schumacher empujó a frentzen fuera de la pista, hacia la gravilla.
 
Denuncia en "anti-michael-schumacher.com"
Jacques Villeneuve, el campeón mundial de 1997 ataca la punta,
y MILAGRO DE MILAGROS, lo logra!
pero no sin irse de largo hacia la gravilla.
Hasta aquí, Fisichella 1ero, Michael Schumacher 2ndo y Damon Hill 3ero.
Esta es una de las mejores carreras que he visto!
 
Ahora, Podrá Jacques Villeneuve recuperar esos lugares?
 

English: 
No! Because a fucking backmarker hits him, god- fuck- dammit- urgh! (beep)
Later, Michael Schumacher gets a 10-second penalty for speeding in the pitlane,
which is the best possible thing that could happen to Fisichella;
he's now 10 extra seconds ahead.
*Plus the time it takes for Schumacher to enter and leave the pits*
And it also means that Damon Hill is up to 2nd place.
*Damon Hill in a podium spot?*
*Is it 1996?*
Schumacher is now challenging Damon Hill for 2nd place.
Aw, Jesus Christ, they're not letting up!
Schumacher does manage to-
*Schumacher leaves me speechless too*
Schumacher does manage to get 2nd place from Hill,
*He cut the chicane! anti-michael-schumacher.com are you taking note of this?*
but Christ almighty, that could've been race over for both of them.
(beep) Fisichella goes for his final pitstop.
Will Schumacher get past Fisichella over the line?
YES HE DOES!
*Haroo!*
(giddily) Michael Schumacher leads the Canadian Grand Prix!
*HE'S GONNA WIN MY HOME RACE HOLY FUCK*
Jesus Christ, this race is all over the place!
*And Schumacher's leading it all!*
Schumacher now pits.
First place is just around the corner for Fisichella!
THEY'RE RIGHT BESIDE EACH OTHER COMING INTO THE FIRST CORNER!
But Schumacher keeps first place!
*COME ON YOU GERMAN LEGEND*
What is going on? (beep)
Things just get better and better for Michael Schumacher.
Nobody even gets close to him!

Spanish: 
No! porque un rezagado de mier- lo toca! Caraj- demon- grrr!
Después, Michael Schumacher recibe una pena de 10 segundos por exceso de velocidad en el pit.
es decir, lo mejor que podía ocurrirle a Fisichella;
está 10 segundos más adelante ahora.
 
Y también significa que Damon Hill sube al 2ndo lugar.
 
Schumacher está ahora atacando a Damon Hill por el 2ndo lugar.
Oh Jesus! no están aflojando!
Schumacher logra-
 
Schumacher logra pasar a Hill por el 2ndo lugar,
 
Pero Jesús, eso pudo significar el fin de la carrera para ambos.
Fisichella hace su parada final.
Logrará Schumacher pasar a Fisichella finalmente?
SI LO LOGRA!
 
Michael Schumacher lidera el GP de Canadá!
 
Jesus! esta carrera es tremenda!
 
Schumacher en los pits.
El primer lugar está a la vuelta de la esquina para Fisichella!
LLEGAN A LA PRIMERA CURVA PRACTICAMENTE JUNTOS!
Pero Schumacher mantiene la 1era posición!
 
Qué está sucediendo?
Las cosas solo mejoran para Michael Schumacher.
Nadie se le acerca siquiera!

Spanish: 
Y gana el GP de Canada de 1998!
 
Y Giancarlo Fisichella es brillantemente 2ndo.
 
Puuuutah.
Debo disculparme con mucha gente.
 
 

English: 
And he wins the 1998 Canadian Grand Prix!
*Fuck yeah!*
And Giancarlo Fisichella comes a brilliant 2nd.
*Today is a great day to be an Italian motorsports fan*
Hhhhhholy fffffuck.
I need to apologize to a lot of people.
*You can start with that Gilles Villeneuve joke*
*Also, you can't tell me who I can or can't subscribe to!*
