DID YOU CATCH THE
PREMIERE OF THE NEW SEASON OF
CELEBRITY APPRENTICE LAST NIGHT?
WELL, IT HAS A NEW HOST AND IT
IS ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER.
THIS PREMIER GOT LOWER RATINGS
THAN THE LAST SEASON OF
CELEBRITY APPRENTICE WHICH WAS
HOSTED BY DONALD TRUMP.
YOU MAY HAVE HEARD OF HIM.
THE PRESIDENT-ELECT WASTED NO
TIME IN JAMMING THAT
THOUGHT HOME ON TWITTER.
WOW, THE RATINGS ARE IN, ARNOLD
SCHWARZENEGGER GOT
SWAMPED OR DESTROYED, FOR THOSE
OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW WAS
SWAMPED MEANS, AND WHY DID YOU
WASTE A CHANCE TO SAY
TERMINATED?
ANYWAY, BY
COMPARISON TO THE RATINGS
MACHINE DJT, WE’LL JUST GO
THROUGH THIS.
SO MUCH FOR BEING A MOVIE STAR
AND THAT WAS SEASON ONE
COMPARED TO SEASON 14.
NOW COMPARE HIM TO MY SEASON
ONE.
BUT WHO CARES, HE SUPPORTED
KASICH AND HILLARY.
THE GOVERNOR WASTED NO TIME
IN RESPONDING, SAYING,
ACCORDING TO THESE TWEETS,
THERE'S NOTHING MORE
IMPORTANT THAN THE PEOPLE'S
WORK, REAL DONALD TRUMP.
I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK AND
I HOPE YOU'LL WORK FOR ALL
OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE AS
AGGRESSIVELY AS YOU WORKED
FOR YOUR RATINGS.
BOOM.
MIC DROP.
AS A COMPARISON, YES, SEASON ONE
OF THE APPRENTICE WHEN DONALD
TRUMP HOSTED IT HAD, ACCORDING
TO THIS GRAPHIC, 18.5 MILLION
VIEWERS BUT BY SEASON
14 IT HAD ONLY 6.5
MILLION VIEWERS WHICH ONLY
OUTDID THE NEW SEASON
HOSTED BY ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
BY 1.6 MILLION PEOPLE.
LOOK AT THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE
WHO STOPPED WATCHING THE
APPRENTICE BECAUSE OF DONALD
TRUMP.
TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME.
I KNOW
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER IS NOT
GOING TO DO IT BECAUSE HE IS NOT
A MANCHILD UNLIKE DONALD
TRUMP, BUT THINK ABOUT THAT.
HOW DID YOU GET FROM 18 MILLION
TO 6 MILLION?
ALSO, ANY TIME THAT YOU
WRITE IN A TWEET WHO CARES?
IF YOU MAKE A WHOLE TWEET
ABOUT SOMETHING AND THEN SAY
WHO CARES, YOU CARE.
YOU MADE THAT TWEET, YOU
OBVIOUSLY CARE.
ANOTHER THING,
15 YEARS AGO THE SURVIVOR FINALE
HAD 52 MILLION VIEWS.
REALITY TV WHEN THE APPRENTICE
STARTED WAS HUGE.
IT WAS ONE OF THE BIGGEST
EXPLOSIONS ON TELEVISION.
WE WERE GETTING TO DISCOVER
STARS ON AMERICAN IDOL LIKE
CARRIE UNDERWOOD AND KELLY
CLARKSON AND NOW, WHO WON
THE LAST SEASON OF
AMERICAN IDOL?
I WILL PAY ANYONE IN THIS ROOM
IF THEY CAN TELL ME.
JOHN SLOTRE.
I DON'T KNOW WHO WON THE LAST
SEASON OF AMERICAN IDOL BUT
I KNOW WHO ON THE
PANEL WAS A TOP 10
FINALIST ON LAST COMIC STANDING.
ANA?
YOU ARE SO VERSATILE.
ALSO YOU ARE SO NOT FULL OF
YOURSELF.
YOU ARE SOMETHING SPECIAL.
I WILL TELL YOU THIS, I WAS
ON A REALITY SHOW AND I
DIDN'T WATCH IT AND SOMEONE SHOWED
ME A CLIP OF IT THE OTHER DAY.
SORRY NBC, BUT I NEVER WATCHED
IT IN JUST BECAUSE I
REMEMBER WHEN I STARTED WATCHING
REALITY TELEVISION YEARS
AGO AND THEN I WAS LIKE, OH MY
BRAIN CELLS ARE DYING.
THIS CANNOT BE THE WAY, SO I
THINK IT WAS JUST RIDICULOUS.
I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHY
WE ARE DIGNIFYING THIS BECAUSE
THIS MOTHER FUCKER IS SUPPOSED
TO BE TENDING TO OUR BUSINESS.
HE IS OUR PRESIDENT-ELECT.
HE IS TWEETING INSULTS AT THE
NEW HOST OF THE REALITY
SHOW THAT HE USED TO HOST
WHILE PEOPLE WERE BEING SHOT
AT THE FORT LAUDERDALE AIRPORT.
I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT
THIS.
YOU GET A NEW JOB AS A BANKER, A
TELLER AT CHASE.
DO YOU THINK YOU MIGHT BE
WORRIED ABOUT TWEETING SOME
OF THE WRONG THINGS BECAUSE
MAYBE YOUR BOSS WOULD READ
THEM AND SAY WHAT IS HE
DOING WITH HIS DAY?
MAYBE YOU'RE A NEW LOAN OFFICER.
IT’S A GOOD JOB.
BUT MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE TRYING
TO PROVE TO YOUR BOSS, WHO
SHOULD BE THE AMERICAN PEOPLE IN
DONALD TRUMP'S CASE, THAT
YOU ARE COMPETENT TO GET THE JOB
DONE.
HE DOESN'T CARE.
HE DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT
WHAT HE IS DOING, HE THINKS
IT IS SIMPLE.
YOU JUST MADE ME THINK OF A POINT.
THINK ABOUT HOW ANGRY, I WOULD
HOPE, OUR AUDIENCE WOULD BE AT ME
FOR INSTANCE IF I HAD TO TAKE A
LEAVE OR SOMETHING AND GRACE WAS
MY FILL IN AND ONE DAY OUT OF
NOWHERE I TWEETED, THE
AUDIENCE HATES GRACE.
GRACE SUCKS BUT WHO CARES?
FIRST OF ALL THAT IMPLIES
THEY AREN’T ALREADY SAYING THAT.
THAT WOULD BE THE MOST AWFUL
THING.
THAT WOULDN'T EVEN CROSS MY
MIND.
WHO DOES THAT?
WHAT KIND OF
PERSON DOES SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
THE PRESIDENT OF YOUR
COUNTRY.
I ALSO THINK, DON'T YOU
THINK THIS IS JUST HIS WAY OF
DISTRACTING EVERYONE FROM THE
INCREDIBLY INCOMPETENT AND
FAILING POLICIES THAT HE IS
PRESENTING?
NOW WE ARE TALKING ABOUT HIS
STUPID TWEETS BECAUSE YOU
HAVE TO BECAUSE HE IS THE
COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF WHEN WE
SHOULD BE, AND HE KNOWS THIS
WILL DISTRACT MOST PEOPLE
FROM EXAMINING WHAT HE IS
ACTUALLY PUTTING FORWARD
AND HIS NOMINATIONS.
I THINK REALLY WE CAN SAY THAT
HE IS DUMB AND CHILDISH AND
HE IS, BUT I THINK HIS STAFF
TOLD HIM TO LEAN INTO THAT
BECAUSE IT WORKS REALLY WELL,
SORT OF A SMOKESCREEN FOR
WHAT IS ACTUALLY GOING ON.
I DON'T KNOW, HE WENT
PRETTY QUICKLY INTO THE VERY
IMPORTANT NEXT TWEET OF HIS.
ANNA WINTOUR CAME TO MY OFFICE
AT TRUMP TOWER TO ASK ME
TO MEET WITH THE EDITORS OF CONDE NAST
AND STEVEN NEWHOUSE, A FRIEND.
WILL GO THIS A.M.
THERE'S ANOTHER THING THAT
STEPHEN COLBERT POINTED OUT
ON HIS SHOW AND IT WAS ABOUT
A WHOLE OTHER TWEET.
IT
HAPPENED AGAIN HERE.
IF WE LOOK AT THE FIRST TWEET,
FROM THE FIRST GRAPHIC OF
THE STORY, IT HAPPENED AT 4:34
AM.
I'M SURE IT WAS 7:34, 4:34 IS THE
BEGINNING OF THE SENTENCE.
LOOK AT THE NEXT ONE.
4:42.
IT TOOK HIM EIGHT MINUTES
TO FINISH THE SENTENCE.
THAT IS THE BEST.
WHAT A GOOD OBSERVATION.
HE DOES IT ALL THE TIME.
SOMEONE SAID HIS NEW SIGNOFF IS
DJT.
LOOK, WHEN HE DOES IT, IT IS LIKE
HE JOBS THE MIC BUT THEN HE
PICKS IT BACK UP
TO SAY SO MUCH FOR BEING A
MOVIE STAR AND THEN HE LEAVES
IT.
A MIC DROP DOES NOT WORK IF
YOU PICK IT BACK UP.
IF YOU
MAKE YOUR POINT AND THEN YOU ARE
LIKE JUST ONE MORE THING
ROLE QUICK.
IT IS CRAZY.
AT THE END HE SAYS BUT WHO
CARES?
HE SUPPORTED HILLARY.
MAYBE I'M WRONG, BUT I HEARD
THIS.
ISN’T HE EVEN THE EXECUTIVE
PRODUCER OF THE SHOW HE IS
BASHING?
MY SHOW SUCKS BECAUSE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
IS HOSTING IT.
I BELIEVE THAT'S BY THE
TITLE, IT DOESN'T GIVE HIM
ANY RESPONSIBILITIES IN THE
SHOW.
HE DID MAKE A
POINT TO MAKE THAT CLEAR BUT HE
STILL WANTS HIS NAME BRAND
RECOGNITION ON THE CELEBRITY
APPRENTICE WHICH IS STILL,
IF HE HATES THE SHOW SO MUCH, IF
HE IS AN EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
AT SOME POINT IN TIME YOU
WOULD'VE HAD TO SIGN OFF ON
THE HOST AND THEN YOU ARE
GOING TO DRAG HIM?
IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
WHAT AN EGOMANIAC.
PITTED BETWEEN THE TWO
CONFLICTED INSTINCTS TO
PROP UP YOUR SHOW AND TEAR DOWN
YOUR REPLACEMENT.
YOU WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW
THAT AIRED BUT THAT IT WAS
TERRIBLE.
WATCH IT BUT HATE IT.
I FEEL LIKE MOST PEOPLE DO NOT
GET AWAY WITH THAT KIND OF
BEHAVIOR, SO FOR
SOME REASON THE LEADER OF THIS
COUNTRY DOES IT AND GETS AWAY
WITH IT AND IT IS TOTALLY FINE.
