(Tiffany)
OMG everyone.
The sun is shining, the weather is totally awesome.
Let's go to the beach.
The beach?
Really?
It'll be totally worth it.
I swear, all of you need to wind down.
So, who's coming with?
Sure, I'll go.
It's been awhile since I've been surrounded by beautiful bikini babes.
Yeah, whatever.
I'll go I guess.
What about you, hon?
M-me?
Oh, uh.
No thanks.
What? You've gotta be kidding.
Come on, do it!
Okay, I'll go
but I won't swim.
Can I come?
Biff Bohnson?
What the hell are you doing here?
I...want to go to the beach?
What the hell happened to your refined way of speaking?
Oh, that?
I only did it for that one class.
What you see here is 100%
unrefined, awesomely pure Biff Bohnson.
Not from concentrate.
This place of wonderment.
Higher education, they call it.
Bristling with the transference of knowledge.
At last I feel I am finally absorbing its purpose.
Could it be?
I truly found Heaven on Earth?
Hey you.
Are you referring to me, madame?
You got a cigarette?
I am afraid I do not, madame.
Ahh, never mind.
Found one.
Aww yeah.
That's good stuff right there.
Madame
may I inquire?
Why do you inhale such vast amounts of poison for ephemeral pleasure?
Small pleasure's better than nothin' at all.
'Specially when all you got is pain.
And why is it you are in pain?
Have a seat, this may take awhile.
(Roger)
Uh, are we at the right beach?
Yeah, uh this isn't what I had in mind
Well, at least we know we'll be the hottest ones here.
Well, mostly.
Come on, Raz.
Let's go change.
Uh...I, uh...I don't...I can't.
You didn't pack a swimsuit?
No prob, I brought an extra.
Ahh, that feels great!
I feel alive, man.
Alive!
Yeah, I know whatchu mean.
Uh, Biff.
Man.
Those aren't swim trunks.
You know that, right?
Swimsuit, underwear.
What's the difference?
(Speech Teacher)
I used to think having kids would make it all better.
(Testicles)
Yes, go on.
So, I had one kid
and another, and another.
Each time the bun was in the oven, I had hope.
Hope that this kid would be the one to make life good.
Did that finally happen?
Nope.
But you are a giver of knowledge here.
Does imparting your knowledge to the next generation not give you feeling?
Look buddy
the next generation is (bleep).
Totally.
In the (bleep)
(bleep)
with a (bleep)
(bleep)
(bleep)
(bleep)
it (bleep)
(bleep) with a
(bleep) (bleep)
and (bleep).
What's (bleep)?
(bleep)
(bleep)
full of (bleep)
in (bleep).
I see.
Bein' with those students
they stare at me like I got the answers in life
but I got nothin'.
Thing about getting older and getting experience and shit
you never get answers for anything.
Just more questions and god damn responsibilities
and child support payments.
(hacking cough)
Surely
there must be one sliver of goodness you encounter daily?
Buddy, you're lookin' at it.
Cancer sticks.
Or as I call them, smile sticks.
Do they make you smile?
That word
smile.
Smile.
Smile.
Smile!
I wish.
How do I look?
Great...I think.
Why haven't you changed?
Me?
Uhh...
Come on, we're gal pals.
You can tell me.
Maybe I should just show you.
(zipper)
Eww, that's nasty.
Are those scars?
(Razina)
Where I come from
they are considered trophies.
If your body isn't covered in scars
you're considered either a child
or a coward.
But here
no one has scars.
I'm...different.
If there's one thing I've learned these past few years
it's that it's okay to be different.
I spent years training my mind and body
to become the Herculean juggernaut you see before you.
But the price I had to pay...
My body is a weapon.
A tool I use when combating the forces of evil.
But what am I to do when I am not fighting?
I must always watch myself
when I am in the company of others
lest I accidentally hurt them.
Yeah?
and just how strong are you, bucko?
Just now
I had to use all my strength to suppress a sneeze.
Had I had been unable to
all your bones would be broken from the ensuing discharge.
Holy hell.
So you see
I must be on guard at all times.
It is exhausting
but it is what I trained for.
Are you happy?
I'm happiest when I am destroying the forces of evil!
And the other times?
Longing for the chance to destroy the forces of evil!
How often do you, uh
destroy the
forces of evil?
Not as often as I would like.
(Tiffany)
Everyone
I'd like to present Razina.
(clapping)
Good God, did we spend the entire day here together?
So it would seem.
My friends are nowhere to be found.
Oh, is that why you're here?
It is fine.
I found a new one.
What did you say your name was, again?
Testicles!
And you, madame?
