[*Wapish!*] Top of the mornin' to ya laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye!
And welcome to a game called House Party.
Which I am hoping is as ridiculous as it looked in the screenshots that I saw.
It looks like a game where you go to a house party and you just chat to people and see what happens
I don't know the end goal. I don't know anything at all.
Judging by the picture here of fuckin'- Miranda- uhh, I think I know what the end goal might be
but I'm not gonna make any assumptions. Never judge a book by it's cover.
Judge a book by its moral and political values. That's how you really know that a- *sighs*I don't fuckin' know.
Okay, "which story would you like to play?"
Original story? Um, okay. Well, original story or original story?
I don't know man, I think I'm gonna have to go with original story on this one.
I'm not too sure. Start new game.
Here we go. SURPRISE me.
*subtle music plays*
Very good music.That's how I know the porn is about to start.
It said "Talk to Madison"
*murmurs* Oh I can actually move around.
Ohhh, Hii. *laughs*
She's doin' the one tap shuffle.
Watch her foot. There we go. *laughs* It's the one tap shuffle.
You just have to put one foot on the ground every now and then and that's how you know
she's doin' the dance properly.
Don't fall back. You'll land in that fire and that fuckin' dress is gonna go up like tissue pabar.
Repeats: Tissue pabar. *smirks* TISSUE PAPER!
I DUNNO
Jesus Christ! That's a mighty set of personalities you got... ;)
Umm, I don't know what I'm- okay.
WHICH ONE IS MADISON?
Ohhh! Thank god. STEVE
You're here. Oh but you've been drinkin' all the Jack Daniels and eatin' all my pizza!
Then, what's left for me? HEEEEYYY!
You're the lady from the front of the book.
*laughs* THE GAME!
I compared it to a book
What is happening?
Inspect! "Katherine is part of the cool clique, and she's smart, and she has a boyfriend. Should I even waste my time?"
Katherine is cool. And she's smart. And she's funny.
And she has a boyfriend.
And I'm sad. And I'm going over here.
Okay. Music. Can I actually change this?
Nope. "Not-Lonely.com"
Is that the website that the developer of this game created?
I hope so. Cuz, it would match perfectly.
OKAY! Let's go talk to some other people
You there, Curly McGee.
That's Madison
This is her party. I probably shouldn't be a dick to her if I want to stay.
That's a good- That's a good train of thought. Don't be a dick to people if you want to stay at their parties
Talk
Hey Madison :)
Uhh, "no but I'd like to get to know you a little better. I'll check you later, Mads."
Oh!
"Umm, do I know you?"
Ummm, no! I'm Jerry...
St- Steve's friend?
You know the drunk bald guy over there that looks like he just came outta prison?
Yeah that guy
Uhhh okay..
*scoffs* Just like "Do I know you?" *laughs* "Check ya later Mads" ;)
*Awkward laugh* Okay
No, but I would like to get to know you a little better
Jesus Christ, you gotta fucking shark mouth
Aw, that's sweet. I'm Madison. This is my party. *Sorta figured* Nice to meet you
Apparently you're fucking possessed by a demon as well
What.. what's this dance you got going on?
You need to learn from fucking Cindy over here with the one-tap shuffle.
It seems like rigor mortis' set in a bit quick.
Same here
*Very cringy*
Nailed it. CINDY! NO!
It's the ONE-tap shuffle
You suppose to keep one toe on the ground you keep this up you're
gonna end up outside
Hi??? Hi...
Jesus Christ, again very bouncy personality  you got
I don't know if I should talk to you, you're
very intimidating! You just smile on your face
and boogying down like
like theres no tomorrow. Jesus Christ now you're
angry! I'm sorry! See I'm really into dancing
if you make fun of it
I'll fucking kill you! Yes, ok this is actually
some impressive animations going on.
Inspect! Stephanie is a spaz but she's
kinda cute... look at her go
Oh, I'm looking It's about all I can fucking
look at. "Hi I'm Stephanie like whats
totally uP SELMERS!!" Nice to meet you
Stephanie.
"Nice to meet you too. Oh my god i love this
song so muuuch" ...carry on *laughs*
oh my god, who are you?? you look like the
life of the party- okay that fucking
facial expression changed.  you look like a
predator on the- HOW THE FUCK did
you teleport in there. What was your name
again? Catherine? jeez everybody looks so
angry in this game... why.... who hurt you
dudes.... *murmering* fucking demon... demon in the hallway.
Can I turn down the temperature? Inspect!-
Tamper *silence* What am I tampering with?
nothing changed look at this control looks like
this controls the temperature throughout
the house I better cool it down because
I am too hot! You guys got any fucking food oh just
what I fucking want a big old sausage ;)
hmm an interesting phallic objects
on closer inspection it seems like you can put
it in your mouth oh wait it's salami
right oh my god I mean I knew this
game was going to be ridiculous but hey a
six-pack of beer this might come in
handy if only I could fucking pick it
up so let's inspect the eggs what came
first the chicken or the carton of eggs
oh my god stop it just stop it hey I have
these exact cutting boards in my kitchen *laughs*
same brand same make same pictures ah
that's amazing oh cool fucking ghost in
the shell there in the wall right
what's up hey Frank is an asshole and
he is a short fuse I should probably try
not to piss him off hey Frank let me be
frank with you for a sec oh you're Frank *laughs*
sup Frank
how's it going dude wait you're not
drunk are you ah no why do you ask I am
plastered dude I had like 12 shots
I'm gonna go drink orange juice see you later frank
I'm hammered you're dead asshole... wait what? umm yeah
wait what!? accurate fucking
reaction ok he just closed the freezer door
yes because conservation of energy
and wasting money is more important than
kicking my ass I agree Frank well let me
be frank for a second let me close this
door can I close the Frank
ah he push the door open what do we do Frank
let's settle this with a big old game of
beer pong we can talk about this Frank
Frank Frank don't hurt me don't hurt me I-Imma small
close door close door yes fuck how
did he do that Madison help Franks
trying to kick my ass my..madison yeah that's
right block of off the path ok here we
go how the fuck are you people all
teleporting everywhere i'ma talk to you
who are you you look nice Brittany's all
alone in this room and she looks sad wonder if I
could cheer her up FUCK! oh ok hey that didn't go so well
the first time I got myself punched
and drunk no I need to find love and
have punch drunk love and its gonna be a great party *hic*
hey Madison how's it going how are you
hey again are you lost I don't know I got
punched really hard by Frank now I don't know
where I am is this the 50s uh yeah can
you tell me where the bathroom is
I'll check you later mads sure go up stairs. Go up stairs!
past the bedroom first door to you're left
I actually have my phone in there
somewhere can you be a doll and give it to me sure thing
but also i'm gonna do a little snooper doo
in your phony doo first door on a left
is this it..Haha! I found it... *confused* where's your phone?
Madison. Mads. I'm not finding a little
phone a tron *whisper* what the fuck I can just take
I can just will a hand into existence don't
fucking do anything oh cool let's just get
rid of old handy there Handy Andy let's
just keep playing the game okay open
fucking phone anywhere ah you meant the
master bedroom bathroom I remember you
said that and I ignored it looks like
somebody left her phone here yeah its Mads
crack the code it's a detective spy
game detective Jack all about where's
the password the password has to be somewhere
Mads I couldn't find your phone but
also what's the password to get into it
there's a fucking safe in here use
Madison's phone put the phone on the lock
it will crack both of them right no okay we
need a safe code do this awesome
Imma steal all the shit here's me
thinking that this game is what stealing hearts
but it about stealing information
technology and money those I can do
Hey Brittney how's it going Oh hey, how's it going
I don't believe we met. I'm Brittney. Chow bella ... what?!
I just said hi to her now I'm saying bye to her
I don't wanna say bye to her uh give Madison's phone
Brittney doesn't want that right now well what
does brittney want out of life
Call James Tuesday is his name Tuesday
or you telling me to call him on Tuesday
that's what I'd like to know
also use Madison's phone. Can't do that
I can do whatever I fucking want Fucking mac
get a pc what are you some sort of
macist why not just use both huh
every think about that. Ima take a drink. Hey asshole
I see you with that booze you're dead...Ima leave
ima leave i'm just going to get away from
the conversation over here and talk to
somebody else and hopefully break the
game what's up Stephanie Stephanie help
me help me put me under fire oh it's
buried out over here hey Frank Frank
let's be civil about this Frank Frank is
too far away to interact with well Frank
looks like you lee is one interaction
that he wants to do with me and I'm not
into that interaction forgive me a four
faced last time I don't want that Frank
we be friends fuck Frank hate that guy
let's try this yay not advice hey I
don't like you know you're the very same
here whoop-dee-doo I like cooking your
belly button for this one yeah sure
thing i'll look at your phone I didn't
put it in my fog okay I'm going to get
this phone I'm actually went in fact
whisper flowers progressive story or no
fucking chase that's priced can you
knock before coming out of the room but
I'm going at your day life right yeah
fucking freaky smiley bus white people
think wake me up sharp teeth cheeky
crack the code I don't need you i need
to give back to madison and be a nice
person creole stop teleporting in and
out of existence please thanks that'd be
great I'm in a fucking wrong place go
out there last night masuk five it fall
get my defense oh yeah oh my god you put
my bumpers on my hey no sweat babe ah ok
guy not Loco
talk hey guy you lost this reward for
turning your phone feel like maybe kiss
something in store maybe you still
little reach-around got butcheek I'll
mash this up to you you'd be so weird
right now why aren't you a bold one I
suppose you did sort of save the day
I'll tell you what let me play a prank
on my sister there might be more than
just a kiss waiting for you when we're
doing if you catch my drift well I catch
your drift like a fucking boat Madison
let me think about that before I give
you an answer no haha hell yeah man I'm
your guy how'd it get started okay so
here's the do I already accidentally
supposed to appear all over ass oh my
god write a fucking book and send it to
a publisher and then maybe I'll buy the
ship at your talent I like my clothes
away she can't find something else to
wear my plan is to first get hurt you
think her only option is to strip down
and wash her clothes what does he ever
clothes in the wash let me just need to
force res of the parade her around naked
to all the party guests clothes Ashley
the scene you can get her to trust you
enough to get a close in Washington
Madison a fucking hello Madison I don't
think you understand how humans work
alright so that's the lovely painting of
the girl from the ring naked Jesus
creature here picking up hey so you're
the sister hi yes hello ok so we're back
just make a breaking founder she stood
up straight like The Exorcist hi I'm
Ashley the Madison sister nice to meet
you see resemblance between you and
Madison you pose an exacting character
except you have been more bodacious Lee
gifted your Madison sister never would
have guessed you're way hotter than
sheer
talker that's so I get them to trust me
that's how you get so much to say to
take their clothes off and play a prank
on them say that they're hotter than the
sister you okay you seem a little
distracted also you look like you got a
bit of a space face going on this one
thing that's really sweet cuz it watch
me put my arms through the fucking couch
I bend them back like an go to perform
some sort of demon ritual and no sweat
seriously you have no sweat how you do
that hey again how's it going because
these are able to see you messin you
okay seem another strike what's the deal
you Madison seem a little distracted
sorry I don't think we know each other
well enough to get into it so please oh
stop Jax dr. Jackie the building I I'm
all ears Madison I've having a
conversation between me and you're
hotter sister if you kept up the couch
okay okay damn I should have gotten or a
little better at first oh I'll get to
know her a little better please don't
compare me to her not exactly getting
along at the moment mmm interesting
knife and madison you know how to fight
of the old mad situation okay jesus
fucking christ if you want to leave just
leave yes see you later go talk to Frank
maybe punch in the face ever since I was
a dog punch her in the face Frank
everybody joke it Spock and he'll he's
gonna start including planks to me and
embarrass me she supposed to mitigating
me especially front of a friend no one
Dame she sold all my clothes and towers
was in the bathroom that's run around
naked another pond scum was awful yeah
that's enough serious sibling rightly
going on it sibling rivalry that's smart
see you later Ashley hey what the fuck
are you two actually considering against
me while I'm right here oh okay so she
would see she knew she knows that it
might have played a prank it's led sorry
i'm just a fucking nice parsec system
and i want to fuck a play plank and your
sister where a trade get her to know me
and then take a close up put them into
Washington parade around outside ball
you get first you Madison excuse me
while I go take this call
haha yeah you okay there you do it all
right Catherine yo yo yo whatever listen
see hear and appreciate this fucking
cardboard dancing for a second yeah
dance off dance off whoever loses gets
thrown in the fire oh I don't know if
you're going to be Stephanie ah ok I'm
just going to call you hayley williams
because that's who you look like Jesus
cuz she is fucking sick what you want to
go and look you thought towards the
fucking death of Saxon here what a
fucking cold miss no name that's Rachel
of course i love how this looks nothing
like this hopefully we went I'm Rachel
mics and meet you Rachel Thanks makes me
to fucking problem see you around okay
how's it going I like your sweater it
makes you sweat I mean uh fun whether
we're happy seriously what's my sign
that's the best you can come with up
with nada an apology fine I see woof I
like your sweater I was this something
hot side to the sweet you saved it again
Casanova this bird is ok but I really
wish you could do some whip it
ah I know that is a rip it's the drugs
cuz I don't fucking know then I often
don't I mean yeah drugs drugs I smoke
and drink them all the time Stephanie
haha so we have those crazy dance moves
because you're fucking high on coke Siri
what are whippet no not a fucking
English whippet dog whippet smart
connoisseurs of compressed nitrous oxide
intended for cooking and baking purposes
which are inhale for a momentary hi okay
I guess that's why the call it getting
baked what can got you Stephanie don't
even worry there's a whole box of lipid
no I need to find a little snips the
witness snippets put it that's my motto
let me how to find them fitted edited
sneaking Madison how are you kind of
whisper in your ear where are the
weapons might offend I need to find am I
maybe go talk to Brittany maybe she saw
look but you had 90 represented honey
bear and any rivers in the vent the
baby's room you know if I should trust
this place this guy looks like he'd know
where the fuckin wit me sir he has a
constant nitrous smile on his face hey
Joker Prince the words of drugs at your
medicine fuck your party I'm going home
it'll give a shit anymore pretty boring
as fucking the people out of there laid
good on to play zelda fuck you don't
leave this episode here i have no idea
how to progress this game it's fucking
ridiculous and these people are messed
up i think they're all on drugs where
the fuck is going on I don't know save
your time people save your brain cells
don't play this game anyway thank you
guys so much watches that sort of you
if you LIKED IT, PUNCH that Like Button, IN THE FACE!
LİKE A BOSS! And,
*leans in, in deep voice* high fives all around.
Kw-psh! Kw-psh!
But THANK YOU GUYS, and I will see all you dudes...
IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!!
["I'm Everywhere" by Teknoaxe plays]
*outro*
[music ends]
Doing an outro is hard when you're sick!
I can't do it!
