{\rtf1\ansi\ansicpg1252\deff0\deflang1036{\fonttbl{\f0\fswiss\fcharset0
Arial;}}
{\*\generator Msftedit 5.41.15.1507;}\viewkind4\uc1\pard\lang2057\f0\fs20
OK hello my name is Stanley Forbes. I've not
done this before, but hello, hello Youtube,
possibly Facebook, hello. This a song I wrote
about the CERN laboratory, and how it didn't
cause the end of the world, much to my chagrine.
I woke up this morning in a state of surprise,
I pinched my arms, grabbed my cock, cupped
my balls, and rubbed my eyes and I summised
'Good God, I must be still alive!' Weren't
we all supposed to be crushed into that hole
of anti-matter where the seams of time and
space were sucked and splayed and ripped and
scattered? I was kind of hoping for it, kind
of counting on it, which isn't very clever,
'cos I lived last night like it really was
the last night ever. First I called my parents,
said I loved them very much, and then I called
the girl I love but it went straight to voicemail,
so I went out and I bought some beer, and
some weed, and some wine, and some tequila,
and then I called back my dealer and I said
'I..I..I would like some speed', so he came
round and gave me some speed, and I thought
'well, ok, can I have some Es, and some 2CI,
and some 2CE, and some BZP, and some DMT?',
and he obliged. And I put it all on my Mastercard
which in retrospect wasn't very clever. But
I thought it was the last night ever. So I
sent a Facebook message about an orgy at my
flat, 200 people came and I was happy about
that, until got rather bored of the sexual
rat-a-tat-tat. So I took my drugs andbooze
and fags and headed outside, shouting at the
passers by 'WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!' and
then I saw an old lady at a zebra crossing
who was blind and could hardly walk, and i
went up to her and pushed her over. I'd always
wanted to do that, I don't know why, but whatever,
it really doesn't matter 'cos it's the last
night ever. So now I've woken up and my head
is hurting, and my flat is fkd, there's even
cum on the curtain, and there's someone on
my bed who says his name is Trevor. But that's
what you get when you think it's the last
night, that's what you get when you live like
the last night, that's what you get when you
think it's the last night ever, ever ever.\lang1036\par
}
