[EXTREMELY NONPLUSSED]
In the beginning, there was Morrowind.
I never played Morrowind because I just... uh, I never really got into it.
I thought the combat was weird, but apparently it was really good, and I trust the people who said that.
Uh, and then I played some of Oblivion. It was just really boring and I stopped immediately.
Uh, th... They paid to have Patrick Stewart, and then they just killed him. Why would they even do that, it was incredibly stupid.
Uh, but then...
everyone lost their shit for Skyrim.
Skyrim, from the creators of the award-winning
Fallout 3,
which, as we all know,
won many awards from people who cannot be trusted.
And then it came out, and the world
got their clammy little hands
on their shrink-wrapped copies of Skyrim
and went, "Yeah.
This is gonna be good."
They were wrong, but everyone thinks it's good because no one is as clever as me.
Because today, the time has come for the truth.
And now...
Th-Th-The world can finally know that...
I think Elder Scrolls is a bit shittin' me, to be honest.
♪ [SKYRIM MAIN THEME PLAYED BY AIRHORNS]
Ow, my fucking head! I've never actually put this on before, and it's...
- [CREW MEMBER, INDISTINCT]
- It's... I don't know which way the strap goes.
♪♪
[STILL INCREDIBLY NONPLUSSED]
Ugh, God, I forgot how bloody long the opening... They learned nothing from Fallout 3.
It's just— F— S— Fu—
Sit in a carriage for like 20 minutes and f— Oh, God.
[SIGHS]
Go— You know, this is— You know, I made this point in the Fallout one as well, like, "oh, they modded the opening out".
Wh— You know how they mod it so the dragon's, like— you know,
Randy Savage or whatever? Like...
People do that because they have to sit through this
every bloody time,
unless they mod the opening out completely, but they think oh, well, I'm here for the opening, might as well watch it, so I'm gonna put in...
I'm gonna put— You know, have— You know, Shrek fly in.
Because that will at least be a fucking payoff for this garbage op—
It's just so— I've just been, like, just ranting to myself right now
just for— Just— Just saying— And nothing's happened. Like—
[STUTTERS, GROANS]
I can't even— I can't even be bothered to—
And the best part is, they keep re-releasing this for every new console, every new thi— We got some new fucking water textures,
we got the next— The next Skyrim's more.
Is there a Skyrim VR? Yeah, I fucking— I fucking bet there is.
[HIGH PITCHED WHINE]
Now there's the Switch version.
Do you want to play Skyrim again on the Sw—
[EXASPERATED NOISES]
Uhhh, s... 's the same. Aga— 'ust again.
Uh...
Don't buy it. You'll be Dovah... skint.
Just g— You wo—
[STAMMERING]
'S not worth... It's not worth the money.
Um...
Uh... I give this game a Fus Ro Don't Buy.
Um...
Thank you all very much for watching.
As always, I'd like to say a big thank you to all of my supporters on Patreon.
Uh, I really couldn't do this without you.
Um, and I'll see you all... I'll see you all next time.
I appreciate all your support, it let me build this whole set...
- Um...
- [BROKEN GLASS CLATTERING]
And eventually, I'll be able to replace the bulbs in all these broken lights. So...
Bye!
♪♪
Thank you! I hope you fucking liked this April Fool's joke,
'cos I'm gonna be doing it again next year, and then the year after that!
I'm gonna be re-releasing it, but with better fucking water textures!
BETTER FUCKING WATER TEXTU—
♪♪
♪♪ [MUSIC VOLUME DUCKS]
I'm not even joking, Skyrim just legit crashed while I was trying to record the footage!
♪♪ [MUSIC FADES UP AGAIN]
