- Na, man, but I love religion.
I love watching religion,
studying religion.
The cool thing about religion is, like,
no matter who you pray to,
no matter what you study.
Every religion follows one basic premise.
One basic idea.
That every religion follows.
And that premise is God
doesn't make mistakes.
Every religion believes that, everybody.
God,
does not make,
(audience laughing)
mistakes.
I said, God,
does not make.
(audience laughing)
Mistakes.
Okay, God don't make no mistakes?
That's, okay,
that's pretty ambitious thing to say.
No mistakes?
You ever read the Bible?
What does the Bible say
happened on the seventh day?
God rested.
Okay, seems odd that a
perfect being would rest.
(audience laughing)
Let me ask you a question.
Have you ever been performing a task,
it was going perfect
and you took a rest?
(audience laughing)
Has that ever happened in your life?
No!
That has never fucking happened to you.
But what's happened to you was,
you were performing a task,
you fucked up
(audience laughing)
and you though let me rest
before I fuck this up some more.
(audience applauding)
God doesn't make mistakes.
Hush your mouth.
God make plenty of mistakes.
You ever see a porcupine?
(audience laughing)
Can't eat it, can't hug it.
It's ugly, it's sticky,
it's shitting all over the place.
Mistake.
(audience laughing)
What about quicksand?
Sand you can drown in.
You can drown dry.
(audience laughing)
You think God meant to make quicksand?
Mistake.
(audience laughing)
You ever been to Mississippi?
(audience laughing)
(audience applauding)
Mistake.
M-I-S-S-T-A-K-E.
(audience applauding)
Are you kidding me?
Just a big hunk of racist dirt.
Fucking Mississippi.
I was there a couple of months ago.
I couldn't even tell what year it was.
(audience laughing)
That's how fucked up and
ghetto that shit was.
Like, God damn!
You know what Mississippi's like?
You know, like, when
you go to the Caribbean,
you know, like, when you go to Caribbean,
you land and you get in that van.
That drive,
that scary-ass drive from the airport to
the the resort.
And you're looking out the window,
you're like what the fuck?
(audience applauding)
What the fuck is that shit?
Oh my God.
Whoa!
You see little kids eating dreadlocks.
(audience laughing)
You see Shabba Ranks stabbing a dog.
Shabba, Shabba,
Shabba, Shabba.
(audience laughing)
People looking like they've
never saw a car before.
(audience laughing)
Wheel, wheel.
And then you get to the resort
and you're like Jamaica's nice.
(audience laughing)
(audience applauding)
It's so nice,
we should invite your mother.
(audience laughing)
(laughing)
They give you one pina colada
and you forgive the worst
poverty you've ever seen.
(audience laughing)
(laughing)
You take one sip and you're like,
that baby wasn't really dead, right?
(audience laughing)
I can't wait to jet ski.
(bouncy music)
