so anger is a completely normal human
emotion but what gets us into trouble
is the way that we react to anger
regardless of what you think about James
Charles he just dropped some awesome
advice for anger management that we can
all learn from what is up everybody this
is Chris from the rewired soul where we
talk about the problem but focus on the
solution and if you're new to my channel
my channel is all about mental health
sometimes what I do is take different
topics going on in the YouTube community
and try to see what lessons we can learn
from people's mistakes as well as their
successes so if you're into that stuff
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anyways everybody who's entered the
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again if you retweet this video it'll be
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Shane Dawson pallet giveaway all right
but anyways let's jump into this topic
alright so yesterday James Charles sent
out this tweet just spent 30 minutes in
a Starbucks parking lot filming a
snapchat rant about something bothering
me but instead of posting I listen to
myself rant and then clicked delete
sometimes it's healthy to have a
conversation with yourself before having
it with others this is such excellent
advice from James Charles and I hope I
pray that people learn from it so those
of you who don't know me and a lot of
you wouldn't even realize this about me
since you've met my happy-go-lucky self
today I used to have such bad anger
management issues alright so seven years
ago I got sober from drugs and alcohol
and everything like that and one of my
many reasons for
using was because I was so angry all the
time all right and even when I first got
sober like I had to really work on my
anger management because I was causing a
lot of my own problems
like I said anger is a normal human
emotion like to think that you're ever
gonna 100% get rid of anger is
impossible you're running a fool's
errand we're always gonna have anger
that's gonna pop up but what we need to
learn how to do is how to manage it in a
better way and James Charles just
dropped some dope advice
all right so for me personally my anger
management is a thousand times better
than what it used to be okay so those of
you who are interested by the way I'm
going to be talking about some tips that
I'd put in my book rewire your anger
it's available in ebook and audiobook
you wanna check it out it's over on my
website alright but the main problem is
when we get angry okay and something
that James Charles is learning right is
that we can angry we feel like that
anger has to get out right and this is
true that anger does need to get out but
the delusion that we're sitting in when
we're in that very high emotional state
is that it needs to get out at a certain
person or people need to hear about how
we were wronged or how we were hurt and
all these other things now one of the
bigger issues that a lot of us run into
is sometimes there's innocent bystanders
right so those of us who have children
or maybe have a significant other so
something made you angry right but then
you take that anger out on someone who
had absolutely nothing to do with it and
that's one of the main reasons what we
need to get this thing in check so one
of the best lessons I learned is that I
did need to get my anger out but it
didn't need to be at that person or it
didn't need to be extremely public okay
so the example I want to use is with my
baby mama so when I first got sober
she wasn't my biggest fan all right so
now her and I having
amazing relationship and if you ever
want me to do videos about you know
co-parenting and rebuilding that
relationship and everything just let me
know because she's one of my best
friend's she's remarried she has another
son and everything like that but we have
such a good relationship now but anyways
when I first got sober it wasn't good
alright like I was just still that
piece-of-crap
father like even though I got sober like
I was still not a very good person I
wasn't able to fully support our son and
everything like that but anyways she had
some choice things to say and like she
would text me and everything like that
and I would get so angry
so angry I'm letting you guys know right
now kind of like the lesson we're
learning from James Charles is like I
truly believe one of the reasons that me
and my son's mom have such an amazing
relationship today is from all the text
messages that I never sent okay so when
she would say something that got me
upset right like it would hurt my pride
to hurt my ego and these are a lot of
things that we don't like to address or
were incapable of addressing in that
heightened state of emotion right but I
would type out just paragraphs right and
just pointing the finger back at her
here's what's wrong with you here's what
you did and I doubted I think it's so
perfect bah bah bah bah bah bah all
these things right I'd write it all out
and then I would pause and I'd be like
oh I'm feeling better right like the way
I kind of imagine it is our anger is
like this this monster or this beast
inside a cage right and it's just trying
to get out you know what I mean or it's
like a bull in the china shop right it's
just jack and everything up and it's
trying to get out and we want to let it
out the front door to go wreak havoc on
the entire city right but what if we let
it out the back door it could still get
out but let's let it out over there
right and that's what I learned when it
came to venting my anger but not
directing it in the wrong way so I write
out these messages and then I would
delete it and I would feel better right
and like I had to stop and really think
and reflect on how many times to my
anger and all these things like did they
benefit me in any way right like I want
you to ask yourself that real quick if
you deal with anger issues if you're
constantly snapping and popping off of
people how much good does that do right
you really think about it
in the moment it feels kind of good just
like telling somebody what's up but in
the long term how much does it really
benefit us okay so there are many
different ways to do this okay like I
said like sometimes I would just text it
and then I would delete it right I'm a
writer too so sometimes I just open up a
word document I will just vent and there
is just so many cuss words and just so
many things that I'm angry about and I
just write it all down
okay I've worked with some people who
would write a letter right they would
write this angry terrible letter get
everything out and then they would burn
that sucker or you could take from the
James toes playbook and record a video
and then just delete it you know what I
mean like I've released some terrible
videos on my channel that I regret and
it was out of anger because I'm still
not perfect I know I know it's it's hard
to believe right but there are many many
many videos where I've sat down I set up
my lighting and everything like that
turn this camera on and I've gone off
and then I never posted the video okay
like so so try to think of different
strategies in which you can vent in
which you can get this out right and
here's something that I want to touch on
real quick like in no way shape or form
am I saying that we should never
confront somebody or talk to somebody
who's hurt us or who's wronged us
especially with somebody that we
interact with on a regular basis such as
like a co-worker or like a significant
other or a family member like we need to
have these conversations but the problem
is is when we're in a heightened state
of emotion nothing good comes from it
all right so what we need to start
working on is doing one of these various
strategies to get that anger out of our
system all right and then have that
conversation like it is healthy to have
conversations with people and say yo
what you
did really hurt me right especially if
that person still gonna be in your life
like James towles I don't know what his
situation was like he said something
later I think it was like a relationship
or an axe or whatever like sometimes
like that person is just gonna be out of
your life so you don't need to try to
repair or mend that relationship you
know what I mean but if it is somebody
like a friend a loved one like we need
to calm down and then have a healthy
conversation with them the last thing I
want to talk about real quick and just
real real quick because I don't want to
dive into it is that I disagree with
Cabos on this one because he was going
back and forth with James Charles
yesterday and he said he said this he
said but now you have told everyone you
had a rant about something you felt was
important enough to share our snapchat
which now leads to speculation of what
the rant was about Shane and Jeffrey
maybe and defeats the point of talking
to yourself because now everyone knows
or maybe you just want to make yourself
out to be the quote-unquote bigger
person but this is just
passive-aggressive as heck and worse
than an actual genuine rant now here's
the thing like I said I completely
disagree with it because me personally
as somebody who is always trying to
learn from people's mistakes as well as
their successes I love when people share
this stuff and like i choosing to be
optimistic I truly believe that James
Charles shared that to inspire some
people in his audience and he'll now I'm
making a video to try to relay that
message and anybody who miss it I'm
trying to inspire other people okay but
somebody like kaavo's in this particular
situation they're assuming the worst
right they're suing the worst in James
Charles but I'm telling you right now
the only reason that I'm here where I'm
at today in my mental state is because
people have shared their stories and
that's one of the reasons why in this
video and many other videos I will share
my experience to let you know yo I get
it and here's what I try to do now
instead alright so do me a favor down in
the comments below let me know what your
best anger management tip is alright use
that with the rest of the world down in
the comments and let's swap advice and
suggestions and everything like that
alright and don't forget make sure you
retweet this video my tweet of this
video to get another entry in the Shane
Dawson pallet giveaway the first one all
right and winners will be announced
tomorrow all right
anyways that's all I got for this video
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supports a channel by buying my books
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everything like that you're all awesome
alright thanks again for watching I'll
see you next time
