if you say white they say black if you
tell them that this is a watch they'll
tell you it's a clock difficult people
are all around us today and they have
this uncanny ability to irritate us make
us feel angry disregard them as well as
their opinion today I want to help you
out with this and give you three tips
that will allow you to deal with
difficult people in your own life be
they your boss someone that you're in a
problematic relationship with your child
or anyone else it may happen to be your
boss who dumps a whole bunch of workload
on your shoulders
it may be your spouse or your partner
who doesn't really see what you are
trying to say or really doesn't care for
what you want or it may be a child that
you are trying to get a message through
to but they do not listen to you
difficult people all have this one
uncanny ability and that is to piss us
off and tell us that no your opinion
doesn't matter recognize that a
difficult person is only trying to have
their way over yours and if you want to
deal with them you need to recognize
that losing your temper isn't the best
thing to do you want to refrain from
that and actually analyze what is going
wrong
why are difficult people getting to me
so badly and what can I do to improve
the situation that's what you want to
ask yourself so keeping in mind all of
this you need to recognize why do
difficult people actually create this
create this kind of response from you
they may be of two kinds one is someone
who has similar values to you or
dissimilar values to you now someone who
has similar values these are the people
whom you can live harmoniously with
there may be some opinions that you
don't see eye-to-eye about but it's okay
you can let that slide however someone
who
you do not see eye to eye with someone
with dissimilar values oh my god you
cannot stand them that they are going to
be difficult this time and every other
time after that there is so much about
this that is framing remember that the
way we say things are so much more
important than how we say but in this
case this is important to consider what
you are saying matters as well remember
that when we talk about difficult people
it's usually framing things that have
happened in the past where there have
been difficult before my boss hates me
my boss
hated me and my boss will hate me if I
don't do this job or my wife will get
absolutely mad at me if I do not do this
remember that in all of this especially
with dissimilar values there are lots of
ifs and buts associated with the
relationship and that's where problems
actually arise that only if you do this
but if you don't do this that's the only
way this relationship will sustain
itself and that's why it's important to
recognize that having your own state of
mind and recognizing what is being said
under what circumstances the way things
are being framed that is so important so
recognize this as something that needs
to be kept in mind
be mindful of what you are saying and
how you are seeing it and whom you are
saying it to in case it is someone who
is of a similar value set it's going to
be easier to communicate this whereas
someone who does not even have anything
remotely associated with you in terms of
something that you share or you just
have to deal with them because they're
in your workplace or you interact with
them on a regular basis you just have to
learn to deal with them and that's where
all of this comes into play so the first
thing that you need to do is recognize
and stay in the present stay in the
present and avoid looking at things from
the past avoid looking at things that
are going to happen in the future
stay with where things are now so you
could say a statement like
my boss is difficult at times or my
spouse is being difficult right now but
I hope in future remember how how I'm
framing it is very important that in
future I hope they decide to do things
differently or they see eye to eye with
me on this and for that to happen you
need to immediately shift how you are
talking about the situation so you
disregard things that have happened in
the past or you frame it in a way that
hey this happened in the past this is
where we stand now here's how we can
move forward in the future if you can
frame it in this fashion then you are
more likely to help the situation and
yourself and the other person as well so
stay in the present stay focused on what
needs to happen once you have actually
understood that you are staying in the
present you need to move into the next
thing and that is staying neutral
you need to stay neutral to the entire
situation you need to be a certain way
so that you help the bigger goal or the
bigger cause now let's say you're in a
company now in the company for example
you have a certain role or your boss has
a certain role now you need to either
feed their ego and tell them hey I'm
really proud of you that you did this
and I wish you could talk to me in a
better fashion or something like that
where you can actually get your work
done this is a more practical way of
approaching it and stroking their ego
usually helps I I wouldn't recommend
this every single time because it always
puts you beneath them but whenever
required I would say stroked their ego
and see how it works for you so even if
you want to get a favor from them this
can work in a relationship get it get
something done from a child you know
have them listen to you this works
really well so something like a bribe in
this fashion works really well so see
how you can bribe them but bribe them
ethically having said that if you want
to stay neutral remember that difficult
people you don't want to call them
difficult people
but what you want to call them is
difficult in certain situations see how
I am framing it I'm framing it not about
the person but I am framing it to the
situation that hey my boss is difficult
at times or my spouse is difficult at
times but she can be a really nice
person sometimes but he can actually
make me happy at times and he can praise
me whenever I have done something well
again it's all about framing how do I
actually picture the situation and how
do I benefit both parties that's the
most important thing so when you stay
neutral you don't blame the person you
blame only the situation or you blame
the opinion then you are creating
harmony and that's the most important
thing and the third thing that involves
all of this stuff puts it all together
is what are the needs what is the exact
thing that requires accomplishment at
this point of time what is the goal that
you are trying to accomplish and to
frame that in in the form of a
negotiation almost how can i benefit the
other person how can i benefit myself
how can we benefit each other these are
profound questions that you can ask
yourself around anyone and anyone who is
being difficult with you or whom you
find difficult if you can frame it in
this fashion that you know what you want
something you have a certain opinion I
want something I have a certain opinion
how can we benefit each other how can we
actually see eye to eye on certain
things and how can we get the job done
how can we work towards a common goal
often we are caught up with different
difficult people in our lives and we
often just have to learn to deal with
them and using these three tips
effectively that's what allows us to
achieve a certain goal now there may be
different political parties or religious
groups that don't see eye to eye but
remember that each person is focusing on
the larger goal that is the benefit of
other people giving them guidance or
giving them a certain thing that they
feel is important but at the same
creating conflicts is what is going to
further an already present problem so if
you are dealing with any of these you
want to be that harmonizer you want to
create that balance that allows people
to see the bigger picture and actually
work past their differences that's the
most important thing so if you are
struggling with a difficult person just
remember to be mindful stay in the
present whenever you are actually
dealing with a difficult person frame it
according to the situation don't call
them difficult people call them
difficult in a particular situation and
the last thing is what is the larger
goal that needs to be accomplished and
how can we negotiate through this
particular impasse that's the most
important thing so how do you put all of
this together use all of these three
tips that's what you need to do all of
this and more remember on this channel
we are dedicated to making you the best
version of yourself and having you
perform like a champion in every single
area of your life if you want to
actually grow further and learn about
other kinds of people that you need to
interact with then hit the eye button go
down to the description box below and
check out the entire nailless that I
have made for you on how to deal with
different kinds of people
remember people buy from people and if
you are dealing with someone difficult
in your life someone that you have to
interact with or any other kind of
person you need people skills and I want
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see you in the next session
