- My drug I like to use
has a lot to do with sex.
- Are you a male escort?
- Oh, god, yes.
(both laughing)
(quirky music)
- Hi, my name is Ellen Acuario,
and I am a stand-up comic, mom, woman.
- Not much, I'm like a drug virgin.
Smoking weed didn't do too much for me.
I just like alcohol.
(laughs)
- Okay.
Hi, I'm Ellen.
- I'm Tony.
- Ooh, you're a good-looking dude.
- Thank you.
- Nice.
I'm married.
What kinda drugs are you into?
Is that (laughs)?
- Oh, I gotta guess, okay.
So when did you first do drugs?
- Man, I was in seventh grade.
- Seventh grade.
So what, were you bored?
- I just had a rough childhood
and grew up really poor.
- I did too and that's rough.
Did you feel like it was an escape?
- Yeah, now when I get high I still feel
like it's an escape sometimes.
- Meth? (laughs)
I mean you don't--
- What makes you think meth?
- I don't know. (laughs)
Why did I go straight for meth?
Tony, tell me what your drug?
- So I used to be addicted to painkillers,
prescription painkillers.
- Was there a moment where
you're like, I gotta stop?
- No, I just got caught.
I was in the military at the time.
- Oh, did you get kicked out?
- Yeah.
- Ooh.
Do you regret ever having taken it?
- Honestly, no.
I just regret getting caught. (laughs)
- Really?
(director laughs)
Damn, okay.
Cool, Tony.
Nice talking to you.
- Cool, nice meeting you. (laughs)
- Hoo, man.
(sighs)
- Well, I'm Henry.
- Hi, Henry.
- Do you like having
fun when you have sex?
(all laughing)
(snorts)
My drug I like to use
has a lot to do with sex.
- Oh, that thing to get it up?
Is that what you're talking about?
- What thing, a rope?
- No. (laughs)
What's that drug?
- Viagra?
- Yeah, Viagra!
- I don't need Viagra.
Well, do you wanna see what it is?
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah, it's poppers.
- Poppers?
- Do you know what those are?
- No.
- They're an inhalant that you use
to relax, that relaxes your muscles.
It relaxes things and it
makes sex pleasurable.
- Poppers, I have never heard that.
Is that really common?
- In the gay community it is.
I don't know how common it
is in the hetero community.
- Oh okay, so good to meet you.
- Sure, nice to meet you.
- Okay, okay.
Hi, what's your name?
- Sean.
- Sean.
When you do drugs, what are you chasing?
What kinda feeling are you looking for?
- It's a religious experience.
- Experience with your drug?
Mushrooms.
- Yeah.
- I got it right!
(claps hands)
So do you continue to do mushrooms?
- Every weekend.
- Every weekend.
- Yeah.
So what I do is this whole
ceremony where I, it's like a--
- By yourself?
- It's like a cabaret act.
Well, I bring people down to watch too.
- Oh!
- It's called the First
Church of David Bowie.
- Oh, I don't know.
(all laughing)
I'd have to think twice about it,
because what it is is...
- Why?
- Well, because the audience and me,
we're collaborating and creating a sort
of an experience of aesthetic emotion,
and if people aren't
able to sort of be open,
they're not gonna
contribute to that moment,
you know what I mean?
- Do you feel like I was
making it not serious?
- No not at all, but I
just don't know you at all.
- Oh, okay.
I have been enlightened.
(Sean laughs)
What drug do you do?
Let me guess, like looks
will tell me anything.
Are you a partier?
- No.
- Oh, no.
- I read, I watch a lot of Netflix.
- Oh, Netflix and chill.
- Maybe let's not.
- Weed goes with Netflix, no?
- Does it?
- Does it?
- Have you watched Netflix?
- I drink.
Are you addicted?
- I was.
- Oh, you were.
Addicted, alcohol?
Are you an alcoholic?
- Incorrect.
- Oh, okay.
- I was a heroin addict.
- Whoa!
- Yep.
- Oh man, you're clean now?
- Yeah, one year, three months, 22 days.
- Congratulations, and
what was the turning point?
Was it like done?
- My dad found me unresponsive
in my room a couple times,
- Oh my god.
- And (chuckles nervously),
as a parent you're probably, yeah.
- Yeah.
- That's probably harder for you.
He revived me and I
just cried in his arms.
I was like I can't do this,
I can't live using, I can't live clean,
and I decided to go to
treatment one more time.
I'd been about 13 times.
I decided that if I hated
it still a year later,
I could still just kill myself,
so I got clean and then a
year later I loved my life.
- Oh my god, come here.
(laughs)
- I'm really grateful to still be alive.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
(groans)
- Come on in, hello!
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Should we hug?
Let's just hug.
- Hi, yes I'm a hugger.
- You're a hugger.
- And what's your name?
- Kate.
- Kate.
Is it a problem for you?
- I think anything can be a problem.
- Ooh, alcohol?
- Alcohol, sure.
- Alcohol is your drug.
- No, cocaine, mushrooms, and weed.
- That was a lot you said in one sentence.
So you don't think it's a problem?
- I think that sometimes the way
that I do drugs is a problem.
- How do you do them?
- When they're there, I'm
like a fucking vacuum cleaner.
Or if I'm drinking, it's like
let's just drink as
many drinks as possible
and let's just go as far away from--
- That's how I feel at a buffet.
(laughs)
- I wish I had more control.
- Ha.
You look like you're someone in control.
- Look good, feel good, you know?
- I know, but doesn't that wear you down?
- Absolutely.
- Then what are you left with?
(inhaling deeply)
(exhales)
- Um...
Dammit. (laughs)
You got me. (sniffs)
- It's okay.
- Yeah.
(sniffs)
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
You did this, this is your fault.
(all laughing)
(sighs)
(crew clapping)
(sighs)
- I don't know, I feel like I went
through an emotional rollercoaster.
Drugs seem to be more of
an escape for everybody.
I think I've been at the
same place a lot of people
have been in terms of
what turned them to drugs.
I'm constantly trying
to find love for myself,
and not use things as an escape,
which is very tempting,
but I fear that if I go down there,
I would not be able to control it.
- Yeah.
(crew clapping)
I'm supposed to go on a road
trip with my fucking kids.
(laughs) Oh my god.
