I judge people who say "fustrated" instead
of frustrated.
I make fun of people who post those memes
that aren’t really memes they’re just,
like, declarative statements.
“I’m really hard to get to know but once
you get to know me, you a real one!"
What are you talking about right now?!
When it comes to splitting a bill at a restaurant,
I don't do math.
Throw my card in the pile.
Y'all can break out the long division.
Don't ask me what I had.
I...
laugh
every time someone says
"Sorry for your lost."
[tries not to laugh]
[whispers] It's "loss".
Sorry for your LOSS.
[woosh]
Hey YouTube World!
It’s me, Evelyn.
Those are just a few of the ways in which
I’m trash.
We all trash!
We all have garbage tendencies.
So glad that Luvvie Ajayi’s new book -- debut
book, okay?
[Nigerian accent] Because we want sophomore,
we want junior book, we want number four.
Her new book [pop sound effect]
"I’m Judging You: The Do-Better Manual has been out since September.
Blogger, humorist known here on the internets
as Awesomely Luvvie is funny no matter if
it's 140 characters or almost 300 pages of
personal essays, amen?
The written word, alright?!
I got to meet Luvvie over the summer at BlogHer
in L.A.
I literally walked past her, and I wasn't
going to say anything.
I was gonna be fake!
But my spirit said "Evelyn?"
This is my spirit.
"Evelyn?
You gon' hate yourself if you don't fangirl
out loud!"
me: [Nigerian accent] I'm judging you!!!
Luvvie: [Nigerian accent] We're on Snapchat!!
me: [Nigerian accent] I'm judging you!!!
Luvvie: [Nigerian accent] Hey!!!
[woosh] 
I'm Judging You is divided into four main
parts: Life, Culture, Social Media, & Fame.
Each of the four parts has different chapters,
and each chapter is like a personal essay
in which Luvvie calls out everybody on they
mess and provides explanations as to why you're
trash.
But also provides suggestions as to how you
can do better.
The more you know, you know what I'm saying?
When you know better, you do better.
Never make the same mistake twice, amen?
One my favorite parts was when she was addressing CP (Colored People) Time.
And its ancestor: African time.
Listen -- y'all got beige physicists out here
contemplating, you know what I'm saying, pondering
the universe.
Meanwhile, here on a whole Earth, this planet
that exists, Africans run on a different clock
than the rest of the human race.
Why can't you study that?!
My dad came home from a wedding way past his
bed time.
I didn't go.
I didn't play myself.
Boop!
And he came home and all he said was...
“Lateness is a disease."
[woosh] 
In the book, Luvvie details how to be a better
friend, businessperson, social media user,
how to be a better ally to women and black
people and black women people.
And it’s all in her voice, you know what
I'm saying.
The way she spells things and the vernaculars
she be employing...
Like nobody can replicate that.
Which is why I wanted to listen to the book
also because she is the narrator of her own
audiobook as well.
Those are pretty much exclusively the sorts
of books that I listen to on Audible.
Um, "Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl"
narrated by Issa Rae, uh, Felicia Day’s
book, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Aisha Tyler.
I do be having like, my Swahili lessons.
Sifahamu Kiswahili kidogo.
(I understand a little Swahili.)
That's it.
That's all I got.
So listening to Luvvie read her own words
is just [kisses air] goals.
Every time I hear AAVE or some Naija phrase,
my soul dances.
I think y'all will thoroughly enjoy the book.
Uh, especially if you listen to it.
Which brings me to 
[pop sound effect]
Audible.com
[Kenyan accent] Do you want to talk about
providence, hmmm?
Before this video was ever gonna be sponsored,
I had already downloaded "I’m Judging You".
I’ve been uh, a Gold member on Audible since
2013.
Boop!
You thought!
[whoosh]
Audible is a service, uh, website, app, all of
that, that allows you to purchase and download
and listen to audiobooks.
And it's not just a streaming service.
You actually own the books even if you stop
using Audible.
I log in via the website, search for what
I want, uh, make the purchase.
Once you purchase your book and download it,
it communicates with the app on your phone
so that you can listen to your book on the
go.
Audible is offering all my Internet Cousins
a free 30-day trial membership.
You can select one free book.
I would hope that you take my recommendation
and get Luvvie's new book "I’m Judging You",
but obviously you are free to get whichever
book you choose.
Sign up and begin your free 30-day trial membership
at [pop sound effect] audible.com/evelyn.
That's audible.com/evelyn.
That's audible.com--- [laughs]
In the comments below give me some book suggestions.
Also in the comments tell me one trash tendency
you have.
I'm judging you.
My name is Evelyn, and I am that person who
leaves a tablespoon of juice in the bottle
and puts it back in the fridge.
Fight me.
But I'll try to be better.
I’ll see you on the internet somewhere.
Bye!
