5 Ways to Start Building Social Confidence
Today
Why are you so shy?
Why are you so quiet?
Why are you so emotional?
Are you upset?
Do people ask you those questions all the
time? If the answer is yes then please keep
watching this video till the end because I
am going to change your life.
From my own experience i am telling you that
I have been asked those questions a lot. I
was a very shy guy in the past and I had no
idea how to open up to people. Talking to
strangers was a difficult thing for me. I
felt nervous. I felt like I might say something
stupid, so I didn’t speak. I also felt that
I should always say something that sounded
smart or funny so that I’d please other
people.
But then I changed myself by following these
tips which I am going to share with you.
Tip no. 1. Improve yourself in all areas of
your life as much as you can.
The idea here is to improve yourself as much
a you can. You can start working out so you
will have a good physique.
You can take up music and dance lessons. You
can start earning more money. You can do all
kind of things which you think will make you
more socially accepted.
Confidence typically comes from acceptance
by society. To be accepted by society, you
will have to provide value.
Anything can be of value. For example:
When you have a good Physique people will
find you attarctive and that attraction is
value. Models and Actors have good physique,
they are very attarctive so they have high
social value.
Being funny makes people laugh, it makes you
likable among people so this is also a value.
Just imagine a rich, good-looking guy with
a nice physique; what are the chances of him
being a person who has low self esteem?
It’s more about the mindset and attitude!
So, just remember: provide value. The world
is harsh. Everyone only cares about people
who can be of value to them.
Point No. 2. Stop taking yourself so seriously.
If you are shy, chances are, you are taking
yourself too seriously. Ask yourself: are
you always feeling offended by little things,
do you feel the need to defend yourself when
someone says something negative about you?
If yes, then you need to chill.
You need to know that there are some things
in the world, such as others’ opinions,
that you cannot control.
Of course, I am not telling you to be ignorant
and continue being idiotic, if you are. However,
usually when people tease you, they're just
making a joke. Even if they are laughing at
you, they probably don’t really mean to
hurt you. They just want a laugh. That’s
all. There will always be jerks or toxic people,
but if you truly do not take yourself seriously,
you won’t be affected by them that much.
Trust me. I have been there, and I am here
now.
The trick here is to just start by laughing
it off. Chances are, you are not going to
be really laughing genuinely at first. You
are probably taking others’ words seriously
due to your insecurities. So, build your confidence
and within the meantime, practice laughing
at everything! I am not telling you to laugh
at every thing you see—you definitely need
to know when it is the right place and time.
For example, laugh when someone makes fun
of your age bracket . Whether or not they
are right doesn’t matter—they’re probably
just joking.
And even if they mean it, you have to learn
to accept yourself for who you are and keep
improving yourself; then you will be free
from your insecurities eventually.
And if your close friend’s mother just passed
away or if someone is being very serious with
you, please do not laugh! You’ll be ready
to understand when it's appropriate—
I believe shy people are generally smart people.
3. Stop judging what you say.
Are you someone who always feel that you have
nothing to say? Do just one thing: Stop judging
what you are going to say.
Just say whatever is on your mind. Do not
judge what you say negatively! Remember this:
if you frequently judge your own words as
rubbish and assume that no one would like
what you say, you are disillusioned by your
own thoughts. Say whatever you feel like saying.
It’s not about what you do; it’s about
why you do what you do. your reason and intention
matters.
You might feel stupid at first, but slowly,
you will begin to stop judging yourself and
say things more confidently. People may even
find what you are saying is funny and like
you!
People generally like others who open up to
them. They will feel that you aren’t hiding
anything from them, and they will feel a sense
of closeness with you when you open up to
them.
You will feel more comfortable speaking to
them too! Just remember: don’t filter and
judge what you say; you'll see the biggest
difference in your social confidence over
time!
4. Don’t give a sh*t about anything!
This is one of the best pieces of advice I’ve
ever gotten. In order to not give a crap about
anything, you need to have the attitude that
you’ve got nothing to lose.
And that is true. Life is full of uncertainties.
Things just come and go.
Keep in mind, that it is important that you
don’t just throw your life away. You need
to have your own priorities! For example,
my priorities are my relationships, my health,
and my money. I will cherish the things I
prioritize, and I do my best to never let
them go.
When it comes to everything else, I don’t
give a crap!
When you care less, since you know you’ve
got nothing to lose, you feel more relaxed.
You take things that are not priorities less
seriously. When you do that, you have fewer
insecurities, because even if you suck at
some things, you don’t really feel ashamed
because you just really don’t give a crap
about those things!
Focus on building what you prioritize, and
stop caring so much about other minor things.
You will feel happier and more confident.
Then, you can communicate much better as well
because you feel that you are free from insecurities,
you are more open to all kinds of conversations—even
those you might have found offensive in the
past.
You will magically and slowly become free
from shyness and have a right state of mind
which allows you to socialize very easily!
5. Practice. Practice Practice!!
You may know the theories, but you need to
apply them! Applying them basically comes
right down to just putting yourself in many
social situations. Take part in events where
you have to socialize; start smiling at strangers;
talk to random strangers; go to clubs and
talk to random people. Get out of your comfort
zone and live your life. You will get better
and better when you keep doing it!
It’s perfectly fine to fail at first. All
you have to do is to take the first step;
it could be just starting to talk to your
dog at first if you are majorly shy! I am
not even joking—it probably helps.
Here is an exercise to stop you from filterig
your words. For 2 weeks , go in front of the
mirror, set aside 5 minutes in the alarm clock
then talk continously about a particular topic
or any topic and dont stop until timer is
off.
You know how you open up more when intoxicated?
You tend to be more relaxed, filter less,
have more guts to speak whatever is in your
mind, right? Do that, and remember how you
are feeling once you are sober, then apply
it. It is not easy. You’ve got to take note
of your state of mind when you are under the
influence; maybe try to write it down the
reasons why you have so much confidence suddenly
once you are drunk, and review it again once
you are sober. You probably have to repeat
that many times because it is trial and error.
Once you catch on , you'll have level 1000
social confidence!
Finally, Give yourself time. It depends on
your starting point. Some may take a few months,
some may take a year, or a few years. I have
been shy since i used to be very young and
all throughout high school .
Then I decided to change, and it took me a
few years to become much more socially confident.
I still have a lot to learn and improve on.
Believe in yourself and take action to make
a change. You will be surprised at how you
are starting to live your life finally!
