>> James: ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!
GET READY TO RUMBLE BECAUSE WE
GOT A TASTY SLICE OF "DROP THE
MIC"!
♪
"DROP THE MIC"!
ALL RIGHT.
HE'S THE BEST RAPPER IN THIS
TIME SLOT.
IT'S JAMES CORDEN!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( BAND PLAYING )
>> Reggie: ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT.
SHE'S A DAME WHO DOESN'T GIVE A
DAMN!
GIVE IT UP FOR HELEN MIRREN!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( BAND PLAYING )
>> Reggie: ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
SETTLE DOWN.
NOW, JAMES, AS HOST AND, AS
USUAL, YOU WILL GO FIRST.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> BOW DOWN, JAMES.
BOW DOWN.
>> James: BOW DOWN?
BOW DOWN, NEIL, BABY, NEIL.
>> James: HEY, HEY -- WE'RE
NOT AT HOME ANYMORE.
I'M THE KING IN THIS STUDIO.
>> MM-HMM.
>> James: THIS IS GOING TO BE
FUN.
JOSH, GIVE ME A BEAT!
>> James: ♪ HELEN IS BASICALLY
AN ICON IN HER CRAFT
♪ BUT WHEN I HEARD SHE WANTED
TO BATTLE ME
♪ ALL I COULD DO WAS LAUGH
BACK HOME SHE'S CONSIDERED
♪ THE ACTRESS YOU HAVE TO FEAR
WE'RE IN AMERICA NOW
♪ MERYL STREEP LIVES HERE!
♪ YOU DATED LIAM NEESON
BACK IN 1982
♪ BUT HE LEFT YOU QUICK
GUESS HE WASN'T TAKEN WITH YOU
♪ HELEN'S SO BELOVED
SHE'S IN HER OWN CLASS
♪ SHE PLAYED THE QUEEN
BUT NOW SHE'S A ROYAL PAIN IN MY
ASS
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> ♪ I'M THE ONE YOU SHOULD
FEAR, WHEREVER I GO
♪ IF I'M A PAIN IN YOUR ASS
THAT LEAVES A LOT OF ROOM TO
GROW
♪ YOU STAND OUT
NOT FOR GAMES OR BANTER
♪ OTHER SHOWS DO COMEDY
YOU JUST PANDER
♪ YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD BEAT ME?
SORRY-- GAME OVER
♪ I COOKED THIS BEEF
HIS WIFE AND HER LOVER
♪ HE'S OBSESSED WITH MY EXES
SORRY, JAMES, I'M NOT SINGLE
♪ BUT YOU KNOW I TAUGHT
YOUR LITTLE MISTER TO TINGLE ♪
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> James: YOU SAID THAT WAS
STRICTLY BETWEEN US.
( LAUGHTER )
>> THE TRUTH WILL OUT.
>> James: JOSH, GIVE ME A
BEAT.
>> James: ♪ HELEN WAS IMPRESSIVE
THAT'S A REAL CHANGE
♪ PLAYED A QUEEN SIX TIMES
WOW, THAT'S REAL RANGE
♪ AMERICA THINKS YOU'RE CLASSY
BUT IT'S ALL FOR SHOW
♪ THE ACCENT ONLY SOUNDS SMART
TRUST ME, I'D KNOW
♪ YOU'RE OUTDATED, OVERRATED
AND I'M TEARING YOU APART
♪ I'LL KNOCK THIS NATIONAL
TREASURE OUTTA GOSFORD PARK
♪ SEE, I HIT HOMERUNS
YOU SHOULD STAY ON THE BENCH,
♪ I'M NOT PLAYING AROUND
LIKE YOU'RE NOT DAME JUDI DENCH
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> THANKS, JOSH.
>> ♪ I'VE PLAYED THE QUEEN
BUT ALSO WARRIORS AND WITCHES
♪ CRIME LORDS AND WIZARDS
BOSSES AND BITCHES
♪ DETECTIVES AND WHORES
FROM ALTMAN TO SHAKESPEARE
♪ THE ONLY ROLE YOU EVER PLAYED
IS “GUY WHO BEGGED TO BE HERE.”
♪ POOR JAMES CORDEN WILL NEVER
BE SATISFIED
♪ UNTIL YOU FIND A WAY
TO GET ATTENTION DEEP FRIED
♪ BUT THIS BATTLE IS FUN--
I'M GLAD THAT YOU ASKED
♪ IT'S THE ONLY BIT YOU DIDN'T
FIND IN JIMMY FALLON'S TRASH ♪
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> James: WOW -- ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
LET'S GO, JOSH.
>> James: ♪ YOU'RE CALLED
BRITISH ROYALTY
BUT CLEARLY YOU'RE NOT
♪ EVEN IN HOLLYWOOD AS A QUEEN
MEGAN MARKLE TOOK YOUR SPOT
♪ YOU APPEARED IN THE LAST "FAST
& FURIOUS" WITHOUT WARNING
♪ YOU TURNED THE WHOLE FRANCHISE
INTO VERY "SLOW & BORING"
♪ IT'S A SHAME IN HARRY POTTER
THAT YOU NEVER PLAYED A TEACHER
♪ YOUR ROLE IN JAMES BOND...
WAIT, YOU WEREN'T IN THAT EITHER
♪ I'M SORRY THAT I HAD TO BE
THE ONE TO TAKE YOU DOWN
♪ I JUST DEFEATED A QUEEN
SOMEONE HAND ME MY CROWN ♪
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> OFF WITH HIS HEAD.
>> ♪ YOU ( BLEEP )UP, JAMES
YOU DESPERATE TATER TOT
♪ A WOMAN'S WORTH ISN'T CREDITS
OR WHO SAYS SHE'S HOT
♪ BOYS CLUB BULL( BLEEP )
I'M DONE WITH THAT CRAP
♪ YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THIS
HEADLINE “HELEN MIRREN CAN RAP”
♪ COMPARE ME TO MERYL, JUDI,
MAGGIE, BUT WHY?
♪ THEY'RE NOT MY COMPETITION
THEY'RE MY RIDE OR DIE
( AUDIENCE REACTS )
♪ SEE, WOMEN ARE A FORCE TO BE
RECKONED WITH
♪ AND I RECKON I WRECKED YOU
YOU'VE BEEN TO HELEN AND BACK
BITCH ♪
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Reggie: ALL RIGHT!
PRETTY HEATED!
SO...
WHO IS YOUR WINNER?
IS IT JAMES CORDEN?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Reggie: OR IS IT HELEN
MIRREN?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Reggie: THE WINNER IS HELEN
MIRREN!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HELEN MIRREN, EVERYBODY!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( BAND PLAYING )
HELEN MIRREN, EVERYBODY!
