FOLKS, MY FIRST GUEST STARS AS
SPECIAL AGENT DALE COOPER IN
"TWIN PEAKS" AND AS THE MAYOR IN
"PORTLANDIA."
PLEASE WELCOME, KYLE MacLACHLAN!
>> WHAT A NICE THING.
>> Stephen: THEY'RE LOVELY.
THEY'RE LOVELY PEOPLE.
>> A LOVELY GROUP TONIGHT.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
UPON.
>> Stephen: THEY'RE EXCITED TO
SEE KYLE MacLACHLAN.
NOW, LISTEN, I'M EXCITED TO SEE
KYLE MacLACHLAN, TOO.
WE MET YEARS AGO.
>> WE DID.
>> Stephen: ABOUT EIGHT YEARS
AGO AT THE KENNEDY CENTER.
>> THAT'S WHERE IT WAS.
>> Stephen: THAT WAS THE ONLY
TIME WE MET.
I DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE TO TELL
YOU THAT NIGHT BUT I WANTED TO
MEET YOU IN PERSON BECAUSE WHEN
I WAS YOUNGER, WHEN I WAS FIRST
OUT OF COLLEGE AND BLEW VELVET
CAME OUT, MY FRIENDS WERE LIKE,
"OH, MY GOD.
THAT'S YOU.
YOU LOOK JUST LIKE THAT GUY IN
BLUE VELVET."
>> YES.
>> Stephen: I WANTED TO MEET
YOU AND DO A SIDE-BY-SIDE.
CAN WE GET A CLOSE-UP?
CAN WE GET CLOSER THAN THAT?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: I CAN'T SEE A
THING OUT OF THESE.
THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.
SO I BUY IT.
I TOTALLY BUY IT.
I COULD BE LIKE A FREAKY
CHARACTER WHO COMES ON IN "TWIN
PEAKS."
"WAIT, IS THAT THE GUY OR IS
THAT A DIFFERENT GUY?"
>> THAT WOULD BE PERFECT.
YOU COULD BE MY EIGHTH CHARACTER
I PLAY ON "TWIN PEAKS."
>> Stephen: BUT I'LL TELL YOU
THE PART-- THE PART THAT I WAS
MOST JEALOUS OF IS I'M A BIG FAN
OF "DUNE."
>> I HEARD THAT.
>> Stephen: YES.
>> WHAT A GREAT, GREAT BOOK.
>> Stephen: AMAZING.
WHEN-- HAD YOU READ THE BOOKS
BEFORE YOU GOT THE PART?
>> YES, JIM LUMBARD GAVE ME THE
BOOK WHEN I WAS 15 YEARS OLD, MY
FRIEND JIMLUMBARD-- AND I HOPE
HE'S WATCHING-- AND HE SAID,
"YOU HAVE TO READ THIS BOOK."
IT TOOK ME THREE TRIES TO GET
PAST PAGE 60.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT SO
MANY THINGS COMING AT YOU.
>> Stephen: THERE ARE A THE
LOVE NAMES COMING AT YOU.
>> BUT IT WAS MY FAVORITE BOOK
FOR YEARS.
I WROTE "DUNE" QUOTES ON MY
PLEASURE TEACHER'S--
MRS. KRAGO-- ON HER BLACKBOARD,
I WOULD WRITE QUOTES.
THIS IS FROM EIGHTH GRADE.
>> Stephen: FEAR IS THE MIND
FIRSKILLER.
I WILL LET FEAR PASS THROUGH ME.
>> "ONLY I WILL REMAIN."
>> Stephen: EXACTLY.
>> EIGHTH GRADE, OF COURSE, IT'S
ALL ABOUT FEAR.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU
THOUGHT SOME DAY I WILL PLAY
PAUL.
DID YOU THINK THAT?
>> NO.
>> Stephen: I THOUGHT.
I READ "DUNE" MY FRESHMAN YEAR
OF EQUIP DUNE."
I SAID I MUST PLAY PAUL.
>> YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN PERFECT.
>> Stephen: AND THEN I SAW
THAT YOU GOT THE PART, AND I WAS
REALLY ANGRY AT KYLE
MacLACHLAN.
I DIDN'T WORK AT THAT POINT, BUT
ANYWAY--
>> WHEN YOU MET ME AT THE
KENNEDY CENTER YOU SAID, "WELL,
HE'S ACTUALLY OKAY."
>> Stephen: YEAH, I DID.
I HAD A LOT TO DRINK.
NOW, MOST PEOPLE KNOW YOU FROM
YOUR COLLABORATIONS WITH DAVID
LYNCH.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: OBVIOUSLY,
"DUNE"-- WAS "DUNE" FIRST?
>> "DUNE" WAS NUMBER ONE.
>> Stephen: THEN "BLUE
VELVET."
AND, OF COURSE, "TWIN PEAKS."
THE FIRST TIME AND NOW THE
SECOND TIME.
>> FIRST TIME, 20-SOMETHING
YEARS LATER.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S IT LIKE TO
BE DIRECTED BY HIM?
BECAUSE--
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: THE PROJECTS ARE
BRILLIANT, BUT A BIT ODD.
I'M WONDERING HOW HE EXPLAINS
WHAT HE WANTS FROM AN ACTOR.
>> WE HAVE A SHORTHAND, AFTER
ALL THE YEARS WORKING TOGETHER,
AND DAVID HAS A VERY PARTICULAR
WAY OF DIRECTING-- NOT JUST ME
BUT EVERYONE WHO WORKS WITH HIM.
FOR ME HE WOULD SAY SOMETHING
LIKE, "NOW, KALE, KALE!"
HE CALLS ME KALE, THAT'S ANOTHER
STORY.
BECAUSE DURING "DUNE" DINO DE LA
RENTIS WHO PRODUCED IT COULDN'T
CALL ME KYLE.
AND DAVID PICKED THAT UP, AND SO
NOW HE CALLS ME KALE.
HE SAYS, "KALE, IT MEEDZ MORE
ELVIS.
GIVE ME A LITTLE MORE ELVIS."
OR, "IT IS MORE THE MYSTERY
HERE."
OR "A WIND, THINK OF A WIND."
( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: UH-HUH.
>> SORRY, DAVID.
SO I'M LIKE-- BUT FOR ME, THAT'S
PERFECT-- THAT'S PERFECT.
IT JUST GIVES ME ENOUGH.
I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HE'S TALKING
ABOUT, AND OFF WE GO AND WE MAKE
THESE-- THESE CRAZY THINGS.
>> Stephen: BUT DO YOU ALWAYS
KNOW WHAT IT IS YOU'RE MAKING?
NO.
>> Stephen: FOR INSTANCE--
LAUGH BECAUSE THE PROJECTS ARE
OFTEN QUITE ODD, AND I'M ON THE
TRAIN FOR "TWIN PEAKS."
I JUST HAVE NO (BLEEP) IDEA
WHERE THE TRAIN IS GOING.
>> WELL, NO, BUT THAT--
( LAUGHTER )
DAVID, DAVID DOESN'T REALLY CARE
WHAT-- WHERE-- WHAT YOU THINK,
WHERE YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING.
YOU'RE ON THE TRAIN, AND YOU
THINK YOU'RE GOING SOMEWHERE.
BUT HE'S LIKE, "NO, NO.
I'M TAKING YOU WHERE I WANT YOU
TO GO."
SO YOU GET ON THE TRAIN AND THE
DOORS CLOSE, AND THERE YOU GO.
>> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT, LIKE,
WHEN YOU GET YOUR SHOT LIST FOR
THE DAY, THE THINGS THAT YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO DO?
CAN YOU GET A SENSE OF WHAT IT
IS?
>> FOR INSTANCE, THIS LAST
SEQUENCE WE DID IS LIKE I'M
FALLING THROUGH SPACE FOR QUITE
A LONG TIME.
I LAND ON THE EDGE OF A BALCONY,
KIND OF IN A CONCRETE-- LOOKING
OUT OVER THE OCEAN.
IT LOOKS KIND OF 30s.
I WALK THROUGH THE WINDOW
CASEMENTS, I WALK IN, AND I MEET
A WOMAN WITH NOIZE SITTING IN
FRONT OF A FIREPLACE.
AND WE HAVE A CONVERSATION WHERE
SHE'S TRYING TO WARN ME OF
SOMETHING BUT SHE DOESN'T SPEAK
ENGLISH.
MEANWHILE, THERE'S A LOUD
BANGING OUTSIDE HERE THAT'S
REALLY CAUSING US A LOT OF
CONSTERNATION.
WE GET UP, WE WALK ON TO A
LADDER.
WE CLIMB ON TO THE ROOF AND
STAND ON A PLATFORM WHICH IS
FLOATING IN A VOID.
( LAUGHTER )
SHE'S TRYING TO PUSH A LEVER.
I'M LOOKING DOWN AND I SEE THE
HEAD OF MAJOR GARLAND BRIGGS
FLOATING BENEATH ME LIKE A GIANT
BLUE WHALE.
AND I'M LIKE, "IT'S DAVID LYNCH.
THAT'S WHERE I'M GOING."
>> Stephen: WOW.
>> "I'M GOOD GOODWITH IT.
>> Stephen: "THAT'S MY JOB
TODAY."
>> THAT'S MY JOB TODAY.
>> Stephen: YOU GOT ANOTHER
SHOW, YOU PLAY THE MAYOR OF
PORTLAND IN "PORTLANDIA."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> YES.
>> Stephen: AND YOU'RE--
YOU'RE FROM THE PACIFIC
NORTHWEST, RIGHT?
>> I AM I GREW UP IN YAKIMA,
YAKIMA, WASHINGTON.
NO, NOT POSSIBLE.
>> Stephen: JUST GIVE IT TO
THEM.
>> OKAY, YOU'RE GOOD.
>> Stephen: NOW, DO YOU THINK
THAT YOU ARE PLAYING A
CARICATURE OF SOMEONE FROM THE
PACIFIC NORTHWEST, OR IS THIS
WHAT PEOPLE FROM PORTLAND ARE
LIKE.
>> THEY'RE VERY ENTHUSIASTIC,
AND THE MAYOR IS VERY
ENTHUSIASTIC, AND THE PEOPLE IN
PORTLAND, THEY'RE VERY COMMITTED
PEOPLE.
IF THEY BELIEVE IN SOMETHING--
YOUR THING COULD BE YOU FORAGE
FOR MUSHROOMS, BUT A CERTAIN
KIND OF MUSHROOM ON A CERTAIN
HILL ON THE NORTH-FACING SLOPE
OF THAT HILL, UNDER CERTAIN
TREES, AND THAT'S YOUR THING.
AND WHEN YOU FORAGE, YOU BRING
THEM BACK TO PORTLAND TO SELL TO
THE RESTAURANTS THERE.
AND YOU CAN MAKE A LIVING DOING
THAT.
>> Stephen: WELL, THAT DOESN'T
SOUND BAD.
>> NOT SO BAD, RIGHT GR WE HAVE
A CLIP HERE OF YOU, THE MAYOR,
BEING PASSIONATE.
I THINK ABOUT DIVERSITY.
>> YES, TO OUR CITY.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> Stephen: JIM, I THINK WE
HAVE A CLIP HERE OF KYLE AS--
KALE-- AS THE MAYOR.
>> THIS.
DID YOU SEE THIS?
>> IT'S COMMON KNOWLEDGE,
PORTLAND IS VERY WHITE.
>> YES, BUT "LEAST DIVERSE?"
LEAST?
I DON'T WANT TO BE THE LEAST AT
ANYTHING.
>> YOU KNOW, I ACTUALLY THINK
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
I THINK IT'S A GOOD TIME TO DO
SOME SOUL-SEARCHING, TO ASK
OURSELVES THE TOUGH QUESTIONS.
>> THE TOUGH QUESTIONS I WANT TO
ASK IS WHY THAT JOURNALIST IS
PRINTING THESE LIES?
I HAVE MANY PEOPLE OF COLOR
WORKING HERE AT CITY HALL, MANY
PEOPLE OF COLOR.
>> THAT'S GREAT.
>> YES, SAM, GET IN HERE.
>> YES, SIR.
>> SAM, ARE YOU WHITE?
>> I AM.
>> DAMN IT.
BUT YOU'RE GAY, RIGHT?
>> YES.
>> A RAINBOW ISN'T WHITE.
( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: HEARTFELT.
>> HEARTFELT THEY ARE HEADLIGHT
FELT.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE DONE
SOMETHING THAT IS VERY PORTLAND.
YOU STARTED YOUR OWN WINE
COUNTRY.
>> I DID.
>> Stephen: WOULD YOU MIND.
>> IT'S DEFINITELY COCKTAIL
HOUR.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE A BOTTLE
OF YOUR CABERNET SAF NONE
RESERVE, PURSUED BY BEAR.
>> PURSUED BY BEAR.
VERY GOOD.
>> Stephen: I AM NOT A BIG
WINE GUY-- THAT LOOKS REALLY--
PUNCH IN THE MOUTH RIGHT THERE.
>> DID YOU NOTICE THE TWIST OF
THE BOTTLE?
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I WAS A WAITER.
I WAS AN ACTOR--
>> YOU LEARNED FROM THE BEST.
>> Stephen: DID YOU-- DID YOU
EVER WAIT TABLES?
>> I NEVER WAITED TABLE S.
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW WHY
BECAUSE YOU WERE PAUL AND I WAS
WAITING TABLES.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT TASTING NOTES
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
SO WHAT DO I NEED TO SMELL HERE?
>> YOU VUFTV TO LOOK, YOU KNOW,
SORT OF SERIOUS AND INTERESTED
AN CATCH SOME OF THE AROMA IN
THE GLASS.
AND YOU WANT TO SWIRL A LITTLE
BIT TO MAKE THE AROAM AS COME.
>> Stephen: RIGHT, RIGHT,
RIGHT.
>> YOU SAY I'M GETTING HINTS--
YOU CAN SAY NOTES, YOU CAN SAY
HINTS.
I'M GETTING NOTES OF BLUEBERRY.
>> Stephen: I'M GETTING A
LITTLE SOUR CHERRY.
>> SOUR CHERRY, VERY, VERY GOOD.
>> Stephen: SOUR CHERRY.
>> AND THEN YOU HAVE A LITTLE
TASTE.
>> MMM!
>> YOU CAN SAY THINGS LIKE, I
GET PENCIL LEAD.
A LITTLE BIT OF PENCIL LEAD.
>> Stephen: (BLEEP), PENCIL
LEAD.
>> NOT KIDDING.
PENCIL LEAD.
YOU CAN DO WET STONE, A LITTLE
BIT OF WET STONE, PERHAPS.
>> Stephen: JUST A HINT OF GYM
BAG LEFT IN A LOCKER.
>> THAT'S OKAY.
>> Stephen: WET STONE TASTES
LIKE SOMETHING?
>> YEAH, IT GIVES YOU --
>> Stephen: WHAT DOES WEST WET
STONE TASTE LIKE?
>> WHATEVER YOU SORT OF TASTE IN
THERE, THE FLAVORS, IT REMINDS
OF YOU OF, YOU KNOW, THERE CAN
BE CERTAIN KINDS OF MUSHROOMS.
BUT YOU WANT TO THEN BRING IT
BACK, "YES OVER-RIDING THERE IS
A CHOCOLATE, DARK-FRUIT CHERRY
KIND OF FLAVORS."
>> Stephen: AND IS THERE ANY
WAY OF KNOWING WHETHER YOU'RE
LYING TO ME?
( LAUGHTER )
BECAUSE IT'S ALL SUBJECTIVE,
RIGHT?
>> AS LONG AS YOU KEEP YOUR FACE
VERY SERIOUS.
>> Stephen: I'LL SAY THISY,
THOUGH, THIS IS NOT A VANITY
BOTTLE OF WINE.
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>>> Stephen: I COULD STICK A
STRAW IN THIS AND SUCK IT DOWN.
KYLE, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THANK YOU FOR THE HINTS OF
CHERRY.
THE FINAL SEASON OF "PORTLANDIA"
AIRS THURSDAY NIGHTS ON IFC.
KYLE MacLACHLAN, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH DEON
COLE.
