Hey guys! I’m Emma and I’m telling it like it is.
With a trace of sarcasm and a whole peanut worth
of exaggeration.
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So, 12 ways of making that first meeting
with the parents enjoyable.
Or, at the very least, survivable.
Now, let me get my nature documentary voice out.
Is this mystical enough?
Is this the voice of the mountains, the whisper
of the rivers?
No?
Well, too bad.
For the sake of clarity and disambiguation,
your girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other/however you call them
will now be referred to as ‘the local guide’.
Their parents will now be considered as ‘THE
IN-LAWS’ in all caps, of course.
So, how does one survive ‘THE IN-LAWS’?
By…
1. Doing the appropriate research
Before entering into the in-laws’ natural habitat,
ask the local guide what you’ll
be stepping into.
Important questions to consider asking are:
Do they bite?
Will I know if they like me?
What should I avoid doing or saying?
Should I initiate physical contact?
Collect as much initial information as you
can to properly prepare yourself for the jungle
that is this first meeting.
But, look, before jumping into the lion’s
den (or the in-law’s den, in this case),
make sure you know, at the very least, 
the major faux pas.
The ones that will make the in-laws run to
the high hills.
Is it swearing?
Is it table manners?
Is it lack of manners, in general?
Because, if all fails, focus on not doing
that one thing and the first encounter can only have
gone so bad.
Unless you’ve somehow set their den on fire.
Then, all bets are off!
2. Proper preparation
Based on the expert’s impressions, prepare
yourself for success.
Dress yourself in non-threatening garments.
Avoid enveloping yourself in any perfumes
or colognes that will overwhelm their senses.
Pack all the materials you’ll need.
Ah yes, the briefcase that’s full
of mothballs.
Perfect, as long as you keep it closed.
Also, too, make sure that you are mentally
prepared for this encounter.
In-laws can sense your fear.
They can almost taste it.
Remember: to be ready, you must feel ready.
3. Let them approach you first
Even if your local expert indicated that you
should initiate physical contact, do not (for
one second) believe them.
The in-laws are naturally weary of you, the
stranger in their mist.
Let them do that first move.
They might nod a greeting or initiate a handshake
or a hug or a 3 to 5 kiss sequence.
If they do the kiss sequence, try not to be
overwhelmed, let them lead and, for Pete’s sake,
try to not kiss them on the mouth.
Now that the greeting segment has concluded,
physical contact of all types are usually
only acceptable with your local guide but
should be restrained without being too distant.
Polite without being frosty.
You’ll find the balance, easy.
Oh and, if they have an overenthusiastic dog
that interprets hugs as humping, gracefully
deal with the situation with a laugh and firmly
but gently push the dog off.
Again, easy peasy.
4. Try to speak their language
Be ready for any way to build rapport and
connection with this foreign species.
They may speak in puns or be fluent in sarcasm.
They may like the use of expressions or prefer
silence.
Your local guide may or may not have prepped
you adequately for this so expect… the unexpected!
Most importantly, in-laws like to feel heard
and understood.
So, occasionally mirroring them might be to
your benefit.
Because, if they hate a politician, we hate
that politician.
If they love cats, then we love cats.
Because, after all, if they love the local
guide, then we also love the local guide…
just in a different way.
But always with respect and consideration!!
Also, in-laws sometimes travel in flocks which
may include other children, their parents,
their in-laws.
Be prepared to communicate with different
age groups.
genders , beliefs and preferred topics of
interest.
Which may all contradict each other
but, hey, you’ll
do just fine.
5. Participate in pack activities
If they like you (or even if they hate you),
they may invite you later on to various pack
activities.
You may also be invited to religious or semi-spiritual
practices.
In some packs, this has more of a religious
connotation than in others, so make sure to
follow the pack in these instances.
Fair warning: you may also be invited to do
useless physical labor.
Just grin and bare.
After all, the in-laws are watching.
6. Check for signs of danger
No matter how well you know your in-laws,
make sure you are always on your guard and
ready as soon as there is a sign of danger.
It might be a gastro-intestinal issue on their
side.
It might be your inappropriate reaction to
one of their inane or boring comments.
Or an off-hand remark sourced from your subconscious.
A good start when you have stepped into the
danger zone is an apology.
Especially if you aren’t wrong.
Apologize even if it isn’t sincere, as long
as it sounds sincere.
Then, distract them by referring back to one
of their interests or hobbies.
‘Oh, Jenna, look at what your neighbors
are doing now!’
This is what experts call the ‘deflect & distract’.
You’re welcome.
7. Use observation skills
In-laws faces and body language can express
a lot of different emotions that, hopefully, 
you will build literacy for.
If not, asking your local guide’s post-encounter
feedback could be invaluable and could very
much inform your future encounters.
The first encounter is, of course, crucial but, hey, there
might still be hope of salvaging the relationship
later.
For instance, what could that frown possibly
mean?
Does it betray irritation, anger, rage towards
you or a sudden headache they’re experiencing?
You could ask them directly but that could
bring you into the danger zone.
So, tread carefully!
8. Make use of compromise
As your relationship evolves, there may come
times where compromise is needed to further
shape the relationship into something that
is more mutually beneficial.
Like getting out of family bingo which apparently
has to happen every Sunday Funday.
Excuses can be invented, lies can be used
but, in certain situations, flirting with
the danger zone by being honest might be warranted.
Like “I’ve been eating your pecan pies
and they are very good but I think I am mildly
allergic to nuts.”
Could be warranted.
Just remember, in-laws are sensitive creatures
so try to make compromise into a non-personal
exchange to avoid hurting their feelings and
sensibilities.
‘Hey, that means more pecan pie for Shawn!’
9. Getting used to their environment
As social animals tend to be, in-laws are
conscious of their environment, particularly
what they consider to be theirs.
Accidentally breaking something is usually
best dealt with honestly.
But, when it comes to grey zones, follow their
example.
Like, to lock or not lock the bathroom door.
To leave or to not leave the toilet seat up.
This is not the time to stand out or try to
take the lead.
In fact, unless you are directly asked to
lead or to give your opinion, do so sparingly.
Remember, you are stepping into their turf
and something as potentially insignificant
as how the toilet paper is unrolled can bring
you into the danger zone.
Quite fast.
10. Documentation
Take note (mental or otherwise) of the preferences
and regular behavior of your in-laws.
All in-laws have their own personality so
finding out how yours react to you as well
as their individual dos and don'ts is invaluable.
And what do you do if your two in-laws have contradictory dos and don'ts?
Sorry...
Nope, no solution to that one.
Just, never, ever, ever, ever share your personal
notes with anyone else ever, even with your local
guide.
Especially not with your local guide.
11. Block insertion maneuvers
As the in-laws get to know you and size you up,
they may decide that a source of entertainment
might be to split your local guide and you.
Devious, creative creatures, these in-laws.
As in a game of chess, you should stealthily
and casually try to outmaneuver them.
Camly watch what’s happening and react where
appropriate without giving away too many of
your thoughts.
Get your poker face on and bring forward your
patience that you are hopefully building towards
sainthood.
In-laws may be very attached to your local
guide (for whatever reason) and you would
do well to cause some ripples without getting
splashed.
12. Pack status struggles
As you are slowly accepted by the pack, challenges
might be issued to see where you fit on the
totem pole of power and authority.
Try to gracefully address them as games, not
as threats.
After all, in-laws are playful, curious creatures.
And if it comes from a place of malice?
Well, what can you do?
So, yay, for in-laws! Aren't they great?
If you loved this video, please like and subscribe if you haven’t already.
And tell me below: what type of in-law’s
or date’s parents have you had to deal with?
I’ve dealt with a shark dad and a swan mom.
Thanks guys!
