I FEEL LIKE I'M ABOUT TO GET INTO TROUBLE.
WERE YOU AN ATHEIST WHEN THE TWO OF YOU MET?
NO.
IF WE ASK IMANI WHY DID YOU BECOME AN ATHEIST
WITHOUT COLBY AROUND, I WANT TO HEAR THE ANSWER.
I DON'T WANT YOU MARRYING INTO A FAMILY
THAT'S NOT WILLING TO RECEIVE YOU.
HE SAID, "I THINK COULD WOULD LOOK TWO POINTS BETTER
IF YOU HAD BRACES."
NOBODY ELSE WOULD FEEL SOME TYPE OF WAY
IF SOMEBODY INSULTED THEIR SISTER?
THAT'S HOW HE IS.
Imani: ARE YOU EXCITED?
LIKE, YOU'RE WATCHING A FAIRYTALE
OR LIKE A SCARY MOVIE KIND OF EXCITED?
SCARY MOVIE EXCITED. YEAH.
HI, I'M IMANI.
HELLO, I'M COLBY, AND...
Together: WE'RE ENGAGED!
YOU, LIKE, HIT MY RING.
SORRY. I'LL DO THIS HAND.
WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR ABOUT 10 MONTHS.
SHE SAW ME ON BUMBLE AND SHE HAD TO TALK TO ME.
HAD TO. [ LAUGHS ]
THE REASON WHY I EVEN SWIPED ON COLBY WAS HE LOOKED SO HANDSOME.
COLBY IS A TEACHER,
AND HE'S OPENED THE DOOR TO NEW THINGS FOR ME.
I KNEW THAT SHE WAS THE ONE PRETTY FAST
AND I THINK THAT SHE WAS WHAT I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR.
I'M NOT EXCITED. WHY AREN'T YOU EXCITED?
I FEEL LIKE I'M ABOUT TO GET INTO TROUBLE.
IN TROUBLE? YEAH.
FEELS LIKE I HAVE A... YOU'RE 32 YEARS OLD.
...PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCE WITH THE PRINCIPAL.
MY FAMILY IS NOT FULLY ON BOARD WITH MY ENGAGEMENT TO COLBY.
MY MOM HAS ONLY MET COLBY ONCE AND --
WHEN I ASKED FOR HER HAND IN MARRIAGE,
IMANI BASICALLY SAID,
"HI, MOM, THIS IS COLBY, AND BY THE WAY WE'RE ATHEIST."
THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED WHATSOEVER.
PRETTY MUCH. MY MOM ASKED
IF WE WERE GOING TO GET MARRIED IN A CHURCH.
I SAID NO. SHE TOLD MY SISTER.
ME AND MY SISTER NEVER WOULD HAVE DEEP CONVERSATIONS
ABOUT RELIGION OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT,
AND SO I NEVER CALLED AND INFORMED HER THAT I WAS ATHEIST.
THIS WILL BE THE FIRST TIME THAT THEY'RE ACTUALLY ABLE
TO SEE US INTERACT AS A COUPLE AND THEN THEY CAN SEE LIKE
HOW MUCH LOVE WE HAVE FOR EACH OTHER.
I'D LIKE FOR HER FAMILY TO SEE ME FOR WHO I AM,
BECAUSE I'M NOT MY BELIEFS,
I'M NOT WHATEVER RELIGION I SUBSCRIBE TO.
I WOULD DEFINITELY LIKE FOR US TO GET PAST THE RELIGION
AND FOR THEM TO ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO SEE HOW RESPONSIBLE HE IS
AND HOW LOVING COLBY ACTUALLY IS.
YOU'LL BE FINE. WE GOT EACH OTHER.
THANKS, BABE. WOW.
HELLO, HOW ARE YOU?
WELCOME. I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
HELLO. FINE, THANKS, HELLO.
WELCOME, YOU GUYS. COME ON IN.
IT'S SUCH A NICE HOME.
THIS IS WHERE YOU'RE GOING TO BE LIVING.
AWESOME.
THE KITCHEN, WHO DOES MOST OF THE COOKING?
I ALWAYS DO.
THIS IS GOING TO BE HER AREA RIGHT HERE.
-HAVE A SEAT. -THANK YOU.
FIRST OF ALL, I JUST WANT TO SAY CONGRATULATIONS
ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT.
-THANK YOU. -THANK YOU.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN ENGAGED?
FOR TWO MONTHS? TWO MONTHS.
OKAY, SO THAT'S PRETTY QUICK.
AND WHAT'S YOUR AGE RANGE? TELL ME HOW OLD YOU GUYS ARE.
I'M 25 YEARS OLD.
OKAY. I'M 32 YEARS OLD.
OKAY. SO THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD AGE DIFFERENCE.
TELL ME EACH PERSON WHO'S COMING FROM YOUR FAMILY
AND WHAT THEIR ISSUE IS?
MY SISTER ARIEL IS COMING,
MY MOTHER, DIVA, AND MY COUSIN, TRENT.
I KNOW THERE'S GOING TO BE SOME AWKWARDNESS
AND WHAT NOT GOING ON, BUT.
AND WE'LL JUST BE OBSERVANT. VERY OBSERVANT.
MY SISTER, SHE'S NEVER MET COLBY
AND SHE THINKS THAT HE'S TRYING TO TAKE ME AWAY.
I'M GLAD WE ACTUALLY GET TO HOPEFULLY HAVE SOME SISTER TIME.
THAT'S WHAT I NEED.
MY MOM'S ISSUE IS THAT WE DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD
AND WE DON'T HAVE A RELIGION THAT WE SUBSCRIBE TO.
THE ATHEISM IS INTERESTING
BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE A PREACHER'S KID.
YES. MY GRANDFATHER IS A BISHOP,
MY DAD IS AN ASSISTANT PASTOR.
WE WERE RAISED IN A CHURCH, SUNDAY, WEDNESDAY, AND FRIDAY.
IT'S BEEN SOMETHING THAT I'VE BUILT MY WHOLE LIFE AROUND.
BUT ONE THING THAT SEPARATED ME FROM ALL OF MY FAMILY MEMBERS
IS I ALWAYS ASKED QUESTIONS.
ONE THING THAT REALLY TURNED ME WAS ACTUALLY READING THE BIBLE,
LIKE THE IRONY IN THERE, RIGHT? I STARTED TO READ THE BIBLE
AND I READ ABOUT SLAVERY AND EXODUS
AND I WAS JUST CONVINCED THAT THERE WAS NO WAY
THAT A GOD WOULD ORDAIN ANY OF THIS TO BE WRITTEN.
WERE YOU AN ATHEIST WHEN THE TWO OF YOU MET?
NO. I WOULD STILL WANT US TO BLESS OUR FOOD BEFORE WE ATE.
SO TELL ME HOW THAT HAPPENED?
SO IMANI MADE DINNER FOR US AND THEN SHE SAID,
"DO YOU WANT TO BLESS THE FOOD?"
AND I SAID, "WAIT, DO YOU BELIEVE
THAT GOD IS GOING TO COME DOWN FROM HEAVEN
AND BLESS YOUR FOOD WHEN THERE'S A CHILD
THAT DIES EVERY 5 SECONDS FROM STARVATION
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD?"
AND THEN, YOU KNOW, SHE NEVER ASKED ME
TO BLESS THE FOOD EVER AGAIN AFTER THAT CONVERSATION.
WE DID THE SEARCHING TOGETHER.
OKAY. I WAS A LITTLE BIT
FURTHER AHEAD THAN SHE WAS,
BUT, YOU KNOW, EVENTUALLY WE GOT TO THE SAME SPEED.
COLBY, WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME WHO'S COMING FROM YOUR FAMILY?
DANISHELA, MY OLDEST SISTER IS COMING,
ALEX, MY YOUNGEST BROTHER, AND MY COUSIN, CLARENCE.
Y'ALL NERVOUS? IT'S ALWAYS, YOU KNOW,
INTERESTING MEETING NEW PEOPLE AND --
OH, I DON'T LIKE MEETING NEW PEOPLE.
WOW. NOT A PEOPLE PERSON.
Colby: MY SISTER, SHE'S DEFINITELY A PIT BULL FOR ME
AND MY OTHER BROTHERS.
SHE LOOKS OUT FOR US AND FOR CLARENCE,
THE LAST CONVERSATION I HAD WITH HIM ON CHRISTMAS,
WE ARGUED ABOUT CHRISTIANITY VERSUS ATHEISM,
SO I CAN ASSUME THAT THAT'S A PROBLEM.
OVER THE NEXT THREE DAYS, I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU TASKS
TO KIND OF GIVE YOUR FAMILY A CHANCE
TO UNPACK ALL THESE ISSUES.
IMANI, YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE DINNER WITH COLBY'S FAMILY.
SO YOU'RE GOING TO GO SHOPPING FOR THE FOOD
AND REALLY YOU'RE GOING TO BE BONDING.
COLBY, YOU'RE GOING TO DO SOMETHING CALLED TOWER OF TRUTH.
THIS IS WHERE IMANI'S FAMILY CAN ASK YOU QUESTIONS,
YOU'RE GOING TO ANSWER THEM AS OPENLY AND HONESTLY AS YOU CAN.
GOT IT. AS BRUTALLY HONEST AS I CAN.
OKAY. NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE BRUTAL.
IS THERE A LITTLE BIT OF A FIGHT IN YOU AROUND THIS?
OH, YEAH. A FIGHT IS GOOD.
OKAY, WHY? WHY IS THAT?
WHAT? TELL ME ABOUT THAT.
WHAT? SOMETIMES CONFRONTATION CAN LEAD TO BUILDING SOMETHING
AND CAN LEAD TO SOLUTIONS.
IT FEELS LIKE YOU WANT TO CHALLENGE THEM.
YEAH. AND IT'S BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
THEY'RE QUESTIONING OUR INTIMACY
WHEN THEIR INTIMACY WASN'T THAT GREAT.
BECAUSE HOW CAN YOU TALK TO IMANI EVERY DAY
FOR SIX MONTHS AND NOT KNOW THAT SHE WAS STRUGGLING
WITH HER BELIEF SYSTEM? HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HIM
CHALLENGING YOUR FAMILY IN THIS WAY?
I DEFINITELY DON'T WANT HIM
TO CROSS THE LINE OF BEING DISRESPECTFUL.
WHERE'S THE LINE?
COLBY CAN HAVE A TONE TO HIM.
I DEFINITELY DON'T WANT HIM TO COME DOWN ON THEM TOO HARD.
RECEIVED.
I THINK YOUR FAMILY WILL PROBABLY COME FIRST.
I HOPE THEY COME FIRST.
WHY DO YOU HOPE THEY COME FIRST?
BECAUSE THEY'RE THE FUN FAMILY.
THEY'RE -- MY FAMILY'S FUN!
BABY. YOU HAVEN'T SPENT
THAT MUCH TIME WITH THEM.
IT DON'T LOOK LIKE Y'ALL BE HAVIN' THAT MUCH FUN.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
Clarence: OH, MAN, GOD DANG, THIS IS A NICE HOUSE.
WELL, WE ARE IN THE MOUNTAINS, THOUGH, LIKE.
-IT'S NICE. -WHAT'S UP!
HEY!
Imani: HOW ARE YOU? HEY, ALEX.
COLBY AND IMANI'S RELATIONSHIP, I'M STILL LEARNING IMANI,
BUT WHEN THEY ARE TOGETHER MY BROTHER IS HAPPY, HE'S SMILING.
ON THE CONVERSATIONS THAT I'VE HAD WITH MY BROTHER,
HE'S LETTING ME KNOW THAT HER FAMILY,
NOT ALL OF THEM, ARE REALLY TRYING TO BE OPEN-MINDED.
I DON'T LIKE THAT BECAUSE WE DIDN'T DO IMANI LIKE THAT.
THIS IS CRAZY. EACH FAMILY GET A ROOM?
I AIN'T SHARED NO BATHROOM
SINCE I WAS LITTLE WITH COLBY AND JUSTIN.
Clarence: WELL, WELCOME TO THE CLUB.
OH.
ALRIGHT, GUYS, LET'S GO IN.
[ KNOCK ON THE DOOR ]
YOU CAN JUST OPEN THAT DOOR, IT SHOULD BE UNLOCKED.
-HI, HOW'S IT GOING?! -YOU LOOK SO GOOD!
I'M CLARENCE, COLBY'S COUSIN. NICE TO MEET YOU.
-ALRIGHT, THIS IS COLBY. -TRENT, COLBY, HOW YOU DOING?
-COLBY, NICE TO MEET YOU. -LOOK WHO'S HERE.
HEY, MISS DIVA, HOW YOU DOING?
WELL. SAME HERE, SAME HERE.
-HI, HOW ARE YOU? -DON'T YOU DO THAT.
HUG! YOU HUGGED ALL THE FAMILY MEMBERS.
I'M JUST PLAYING WITH YOU. NICE TO MEET YOU.
NICE TO MEET YOU TOO.
WHEN MY MOTHER TOLD ME THAT MY SISTER,
SHE'S AN ATHEIST NOW AND I SAID, "HMM, OKAY."
I FEEL LIKE WE'RE ON TWO DIFFERENT PLAYING FIELDS NOW.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT EXACTLY WE STILL HAVE IN COMMON,
BECAUSE IF COLBY SAYS,
"HEY, YOU'RE CAUCASIAN NOW," SHE'S GONNA SAY, "I AM."
AND SHE'S GONNA SAY, "I'M NOT BLACK ANYMORE."
THAT'S THE INFLUENCE THAT HE HAS.
THAT'S THE MAN THAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO MARRY.
Imani: SO, THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING.
AS YOU MAY KNOW, COLBY AND I ARE GETTING MARRIED EARLY NEXT YEAR.
Colby: AND RIGHT NOW WE'RE GOING TO USE THIS OPPORTUNITY
FOR US TO GO AROUND THE ROOM AND EACH OF YOU VOICE
THE CONCERNS THAT YOU HAVE ABOUT US GETTING MARRIED.
SO, TRENT, WHAT ARE YOUR CONCERNS?
Trent: I FEEL LIKE THIS IS PREMATURE.
IT'S BEEN 8-10 MONTHS TO MY KNOWLEDGE
THAT Y'ALL HAVE BEEN TOGETHER, AND I FEEL LIKE THE FAMILY
HASN'T GOT THE CHANCE TO MEET YOU, COLBY.
LIKE YOU'VE BEEN ON THIS HONEYMOON PHASE,
STRAIGHT COAST, HAPPY FEELINGS, GOOD TIMES.
WE HAVEN'T SEEN YOU GO THROUGH BUMPS IN THE ROAD
WHERE YOU'RE QUESTIONING LIKE
"CAN WE REALLY GET THROUGH THIS?"
ARIEL, WHAT ARE YOUR CONCERNS?
I'M WORRIED THAT YOU WILL BE HEAVILY INFLUENCED.
I WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU'RE MAKING SURE
THAT YOU SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF,
THAT YOU'RE NOT BEING CONTROLLED.
MY HEART IS BEATING OUT OF MY CHEST.
I AM VERY WORRIED ABOUT YOUR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS.
EVERYTHING IS WRITTEN ON YOUR FACE.
MY BIGGEST CONCERN IS THE FACT
THAT YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD.
GOD IS THE FOUNDATION AND, YOU KNOW, WITHOUT THAT,
THAT CORNERSTONE, EVERYTHING IS JUST KIND OF BOUND TO FAIL.
DANISHELA, WHAT ARE YOUR CONCERNS?
MY BIGGEST CONCERN, YOU KNOW, IS NOT BELIEVING IN GOD
BECAUSE OF HOW WE WERE RAISED.
I KNOW YOU KNOW BETTER, AND I REALLY BELIEVE
THIS IS JUST A PHASE. AND MY SECOND BIGGEST CONCERN
IS I DON'T WANT YOU MARRYING INTO A FAMILY
THAT'S NOT GOING TO BE OPEN-MINDED AND OPEN
AND WILLING TO RECEIVE YOU,
BECAUSE I SENSE FUNNINESS AND I DON'T LIKE THAT.
I THINK YOU HAD MENTIONED, "YOU'D LOOK REALLY CUTE
IF YOUR TEETH WEREN'T MESSED UP."
THERE'S SLAVERY THAT'S CONDONED IN THE BIBLE,
WHY ARE SLAVES PRAYING TO GOD TO RELEASE THEM
WHEN GOD WROTE THAT IN EXODUS?
WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF SHE'D SAID,
"NO, I'M ACTUALLY NOT WILLING, I KIND OF LOVE MY TEETH."
NO, I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE GOT TO KNOW
HER FURTHER AFTER THAT POINT.
I DON'T WANT YOU MARRYING INTO A FAMILY
THAT'S NOT GOING TO BE OPEN AND WILLING TO RECEIVE YOU,
BECAUSE I SENSE FUNNINESS AND I DON'T LIKE THAT.
WHEN YOU BROUGHT IMANI AROUND US, WE HAD OUR ARMS OPEN.
SHE FEELS LIKE FAMILY WHEN SHE'S WITH US
AND I WANT YOU TO FEEL THE SAME WAY WHEN YOU'RE WITH THEM.
THANKS, DANISHELA, I APPRECIATE THAT.
SO TRACY GAVE US TASKS TODAY,
AND SO I'LL BE TAKING COLBY'S FAMILY GROCERY SHOPPING,
SO THAT YOU GUYS GET A CHANCE TO KNOW ME MORE,
AND WE'RE GOING TO COOK DINNER FOR EVERYBODY TONIGHT.
AND IMANI'S FAMILY, WE'RE GOING TO PLAY A GAME
CALLED THE TOWER OF TRUTH.
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY
TO ASK ME ANYTHING THAT YOU WANT AND I WILL BE TRUTHFUL.
IT SEEMS LIKE I WAS A PROBLEM FOR A LOT OF HER FAMILY MEMBERS.
IT WAS HARD FOR ME TO SIT THERE
AND NOT RESPOND TO SOME OF THE CONCERNS.
Diva: WHAT SHE SAID WAS WHEN THEY STARTED DATING,
THEY STARTED STUDYING, AND THEY KEPT FINDING
ALL THESE CONTRADICTIONS IN THE BIBLE.
THEY THINK THAT IT'S MY INFLUENCE,
BUT SHE HAS HER OWN MIND.
IF WE ASK IMANI, "WHY DID YOU BECOME AN ATHEIST"
WITHOUT COLBY AROUND, I WANT TO HEAR THE ANSWER.
HELLO, EVERYBODY.
-HELLO. -WHAT'S GOING ON? -HI.
ARE Y'ALL READY TO PLAY THIS TOWER OF TRUTH?
HOW DID YOU ALL MEET?
IMANI AND I MET ON BUMBLE, THE DATING APP.
WHAT'S THAT? OH, IT'S A DATING APP?
WAIT, THIS IS NEW. YOU DIDN'T KNOW?
STOP THE PRESS!
WHAT SHE TOLD US IS THAT YOU GUYS HAD MET IN THE CLUB
AND I THINK YOU HAD MENTIONED,
"MAN, YOU'D LOOK REALLY CUTE IF YOUR TEETH WEREN'T MESSED UP."
AND THEN I THINK TWO WEEKS LATER SHE WENT AND GOT BRACES.
AND THIS IS WHY YOU GET THE CERTAIN ENERGY FROM ME.
IS IT STARTING TO CONNECT?
[ LAUGHS ] NO, I'M SERIOUS.
AND YOU THINK I'M JOKING,
NOW DID YOU SAY THAT AT A LATER TIME?
ON OUR SECOND DATE, I ASKED HER WAS SHE WILLING TO GET BRACES.
GOT YOU.
WOW.
SO WHAT IS THE STORY BEHIND YOU BECOMING AN ATHEIST?
WHEN WE STARTED DATING HE WAS ALREADY
LOOKING INTO AFRICAN AMERICAN STUDIES
AND SO WE WATCHED A LOT OF MALCOLM X AND SPIKE LEE MOVIES.
YEAH. AND THE ONE COMMON THING
WAS RELIGION.
AND I MEAN EVEN WITH THAT, WE JUST STARTED
ACTUALLY READING THE BIBLE.
AND, I MEAN, THAT'S WHERE COLBY FOUND, LIKE,
THERE'S SLAVERY THAT'S CONDONED IN THE BIBLE,
BUT IT'S INSPIRED BY GOD. YEAH.
WHY ARE SLAVES PRAYING TO GOD TO RELEASE THEM
WHEN GOD WROTE THAT IN EXODUS?
Trent: ATHEIST, DOES THAT MEAN WHEN YOU BELIEVE IN LIKE
ZERO GREATER POWER? LIKE, THERE'S NO --
IS THAT LIKE THE DEFINITION OF ATHEIST?
BECAUSE I'M NOT SURE.
I THINK THERE IS DIFFERENT DEFINITIONS OF ATHEISM,
BUT THE ATHEISM THAT I SPEAK OF
IS I HAVEN'T SEEN SUFFICIENT EVIDENCE
TO SUPPORT A HIGHER POWER. SO I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD.
IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD, YOU BELIEVE IN SOMETHING ELSE,
SO RIGHT NOW YOU'RE JUST SEARCHING FOR TRUTH.
IS THAT IT OR NO? IF THERE IS A GOD,
HE'D KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO CONVINCE ME THAT HE'S THERE.
I COULD HAVE FAITH IN BIGFOOT,
THAT DOESN'T LEAD ME TO A RELIABLE PATH OF TRUTH.
SO WHEN DO YOU FEEL LIKE IMANI MADE THE SWITCH?
IMANI CAME IN DURING THE BETWEEN STAGES
AND SHE WAS WATCHING THE SAME THINGS I WATCHED.
WE HAD CONVERSATIONS AND DISCUSSIONS.
SO YOU'D DEFINITELY SAY IT WAS FAIR TO SAY
THAT YOU KIND OF WAS AN INFLUENCE ON IMANI?
WOULD THAT BE A FAIR ASSUMPTION?
SO IS THIS SOMETHING THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN FEELING,
LIKE, YOU WERE LEANING TOWARDS BEFORE YOU MET COLBY?
NO, NO, BECAUSE I DIDN'T QUESTION RELIGION.
I WAS FED RELIGION. I GREW UP,
I WAS SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST, SO THAT'S WHAT I WENT BY.
I FELT LIKE MAYBE IT WAS SOMETHING THAT SHE QUESTIONED.
FINDING OUT THAT IT WASN'T, YOU KNOW,
WAS ACTUALLY KIND OF SURPRISING.
I GUESS A QUESTION THAT I HAVE IS WHAT INFLUENCE
DO YOU GUYS THINK IS APPROPRIATE FOR ME TO HAVE?
I'VE ACTUALLY TALKED TO HER
ABOUT HOW SHE'S DRESSED FOR LIKE YEARS,
AND I'M NOT BEING SALTY BECAUSE IT DIDN'T MATTER
AND SHE DIDN'T JUMP WHEN I SAID JUMP.
BUT AS SOON AS YOU CAME IN, IT WAS JUST LIKE
AND IT'S SOMETHING I NEED TO TALK WITH IMANI ABOUT.
YEAH, I THINK YOU SHOULD, BECAUSE I ASKED IMANI, YOU KNOW,
"DOES YOUR SISTER EVER ASK YOU ANYTHING ABOUT YOU?"
SHE SAID, "NO, NOT REALLY, WE JUST TALK ABOUT
WHATEVER SHE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT.
SHE JUST KIND OF OWNS THE CONVERSATION."
IT'S NOT THE PROBLEM.
IT'S NOT, IT'S JUST NOT.
OKAY.
I DON'T FEEL LIKE HE'S LOOKING
FOR THE APPROVAL OF ME OR MY MOTHER.
I DON'T THINK HE VALUES OUR OPINIONS AT ALL.
I'M STILL GONNA GIVE HIM A CHANCE
BECAUSE IT WOULD MAKE IT EASIER FOR MY SISTER,
BUT OBVIOUSLY I DON'T THINK HE CARES.
Imani: ALRIGHT, LET'S GO SEE WHAT THE FAMILY'S DOING.
SEE THAT? YEAH.
A TEMPERATURE POPS UP ON THE RED.
-OH, OKAY. -IS THAT ENOUGH?
-YEAH, THAT'S FINE. -ALRIGHT. HERE YOU GO.
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO US ALL HAVING DINNER TOGETHER
AND TO HEAR ABOUT HOW YOUR DAY WENT WITH MY FAMILY.
FATHER, WE THANK YOU FOR THE FOOD WE'RE ABOUT TO EAT.
WE ASK THAT YOU WILL ALLOW THIS FOOD TO NOURISH OUR BODIES.
Danishela: SOMETHING OPENS UP MY RIGHT EYE JUST A LITTLE BIT
AND I START TO PEEK TO THE RIGHT OF ME,
AND I SEE IMANI AND COLBY JUST SITTING THERE
AND I REALLY WANT TO SAY, "YOU BIG IDIOTS."
AND I'M PRAYING FOR THEM AS SHE'S PRAYING FOR THE FOOD.
IN THE NAME OF YOUR PRECIOUS SON, JESUS CHRIST, AMEN.
-AMEN. -AMEN.
SO HOW WAS IT TODAY AT THE GROCERY STORE?
I THINK WE HAD SOME GOOD CONVERSATIONS THERE.
HOW WAS THE TRUTH TOWER? IT WAS A LONG GRILLING.
YOUR SISTER KIND OF WANTED CLARITY
BECAUSE Y'ALL HADN'T REALLY TALKED ABOUT YOUR BELIEFS
AND SHE WONDERS ARE YOU JUST SAYING
THAT YOU'RE AN ATHEIST TO BE IN GOOD WITH ME.
COLBY WASN'T AN ATHEIST BEFORE ME AND HIM MET.
COLBY AND I, WE ENDED UP DOING THE STUDYING TOGETHER
AND THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS IN THE BIBLE
THAT I DO NOT FIND MORALLY CORRECT.
IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THAT THERE IS A GOD
AND FOR HIM NOT TO BE MORAL.
Ariel: NO, WOULD YOU BE AN ATHEIST IF YOU HADN'T MET COLBY?
DO YOU THINK SO, LIKE?
I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE EVER QUESTIONED...
-RELIGION. -...RELIGION.
UNLESS YOU HAD MET HIM.
ONE THING THAT WE REALIZED
WAS WE HAD DIFFERENT STORIES FROM YOU.
LIKE, HER UNDERSTANDING OF HOW WE MET WAS WE MET AT A CLUB.
I DIDN'T WANT TO SAY DATING APP, SO I DIDN'T.
TO ME, THAT'S KIND OF EMBARRASSING.
I DON'T LOOK DOWN ON IT,
JUST THE COMMENT HE HAD SAID ABOUT YOU WOULD LOOK PRETTY
IF YOUR TEETH WEREN'T JACKED UP.
OH, YOU BROUGHT THAT UP?
THAT'S, I THINK, WHAT RUBBED ME THE WRONG WAY.
ME, PERSONALLY, I DON'T GET OFFENDED
HAVING CONVERSATIONS LIKE THAT WITH PEOPLE.
IF, SAY, A DUDE OR SOMEBODY CAME TO YOUR SISTER
AND SAID THAT, WOULD YOU FEEL OFFENDED
OR YOU'D JUST BE LIKE, "EH," YOU'D SHRUG IT OFF?
IF I AGREE WITH WHAT THE PERSON IS SAYING, I'D BE LIKE, "YEAH,
YOU PROBABLY SHOULD CHECK THAT OUT.
SHE WASN'T OFFENDED WHEN I ASKED HER.
IF IT DIDN'T AFFECT YOU,
I DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU WOULD HAVE WENT AND GOT BRACES.
MY SISTER IS VERY PROTECTIVE OVER ME
AND SO I GET WHY SHE WOULD TAKE THAT PERSONAL.
BUT I DO WISH THAT AFTER I HAVE STATED MY PIECE
THAT SHE WOULD LET IT GO.
FOR YOU TO TAKE THAT TYPE OF ACTION, I DON'T KNOW HOW --
WHEN IT HAPPENED AND WHEN YOU --
IT WAS OUR SECOND DATE. COLBY WAS ASKING ME
A LINE OF QUESTIONS AND THEN HE SAID,
"HEY, WOULD YOU BE OPPOSED TO GETTING BRACES?"
AND THEN, YOU KNOW. AND THEN IMANI SAID, "NO."
AND THEN HE SAID, "BECAUSE I THINK
YOU WOULD LOOK TWO POINTS BETTER IF YOU HAD BRACES."
SO YOU'RE BEING BASED ON A POINTS SYSTEM?
OKAY.
THE FACT THAT HE DID NOT SEE ANYTHING WRONG
WITH THAT STATEMENT,
IT WAS A VERY CARELESS STATEMENT TO MAKE.
YOU HAVE TO WATCH WHAT YOU SAY AND YOU HAVE TO BE ACCOUNTABLE.
AND FOR HIM NOT TO SEE THAT, IT IS AN ISSUE. IT'S AN ISSUE.
AND THEN HE SAID, "BECAUSE I THINK
YOU WOULD LOOK TWO POINTS BETTER
IF YOU HAD BRACES." TWO POINTS HIGHER?
SO YOU'RE BEING BASED ON A POINTS SYSTEM?
I KNOW SOMETIMES, LIKE, THINGS COLBY SAYS,
LIKE MIGHT GET MISINTERPRETED
OR YOU MIGHT FEEL LIKE THEY'RE ATTACKS.
BUT IT'S REALLY HIM LIKE COMING FROM THE BOTTOM OF HIS HEART
AND LOOKING OUT. -IT LOOKED LIKE YOU JUST --
I WANT TO SAY NITPICKING, BUT IT'S LIKE YOU JUST
TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING.
I WANT TO BE HONEST WITH Y'ALL,
I THINK Y'ALL ARE HAVING AN ARGUMENT FOR NOTHING,
BECAUSE IT'S GOING TO GO BACK AND FORTH.
THEY'RE AIN'T GOING TO TURN TONIGHT.
RIGHT. THE MOST WE CAN DO
IS JUST PRAY.
Ariel: HEY, HOW DO Y'ALL LIKE YOUR EGGS?
Y'ALL LIKE THEM BROWN OR NO?
BROWN? IS THAT AN OPTION? I WANT THEM WELL DONE.
OKAY. LOOK AT -- GO AHEAD!
YEAH, I TOLD YOU I GOT THIS. HE DIDN'T BURN IT!
-MORNING. -HELLO.
-HOW ARE YOU? -GOOD.
HOW DID YESTERDAY GO?
YESTERDAY GOT BETTER. OKAY.
I TOOK COLBY'S FAMILY OUT TO THE GROCERY STORE
AND I THINK WE HAD A, YOU KNOW, GOOD DIALOG.
ALRIGHT, SO TELL ME HOW YOUR TASK WENT YESTERDAY.
SO WHAT I GOT FROM ARIEL, THEY THINK THAT I'M CONTROLLING
AND SHE BLAMES ME FOR THAT.
SHE SUGGESTED THAT IMANI DO THE SAME THINGS THAT I SUGGESTED,
BUT IMANI NEVER DID IT AND THEN IMANI MET ME
AND THEN IMANI WAS WILLING TO DO IT.
TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED AROUND THE BRACES.
I JUST REMEMBER HER SAYING THAT I SAID
THAT IMANI HAD JACKED UP TEETH ON OUR FIRST DATE AT THE CLUB.
DID YOU SAY THAT? THAT WASN'T TRUE.
NO. HE WASN'T TRYING TO BE OFFENSIVE,
BUT COLBY ASKED IF I WAS WILLING TO GET BRACES
AND THEN I SAID YES.
THEN HE TOLD ME THAT I WOULD HAVE LOOKED TWO POINTS HIGHER
IF I HAD BETTER TEETH.
COLBY. I WAS BEING HONEST WITH HER.
WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF SHE SAID,
"NO, I'M ACTUALLY NOT WILLING, I KIND OF LOVE MY TEETH."
NO, I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE GOT TO KNOW HER FURTHER
AFTER THAT POINT. INTERESTING.
DOES THAT NOT WORRY YOU?
IT WAS OUR SECOND DATE, SO NO.
I WORRY ABOUT YOU GUYS DOWN THE ROAD.
THERE ARE GOING TO BE FOUR MILLION THINGS
OVER THE COURSE OF YOUR MARRIAGE THAT YOU DECIDE, "YOU KNOW WHAT,
YOU COULD BE A LITTLE BIT BETTER IN THIS AREA, THIS AREA."
THIS IS WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT WHEN THEY TALK
ABOUT THE INFLUENCE. AND IT'S IMPORTANT TO TRY.
OUCH.
PRETTY SOON THERE'S NO MORE ACCOMMODATIONS TO MAKE.
COUPLES WILL MOVE TOWARD A PLACE
WHERE EITHER YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SELL YOURSELF OUT,
OR YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SELL YOURSELF OUT.
AND THIS IS WHY YOUR FAMILIES WANT TO SEE HOW DO YOU DEAL
WITH IT WHEN YOU HIT THE THING
WHERE YOU'RE NOT WILLING TO COMPROMISE OR ACCOMMODATE
AND YOU'RE NOT WILLING TO COMPROMISE OR ACCOMMODATE,
BECAUSE IT WILL HAPPEN.
YOUR SISTER, I CAN SEE HOW SHE COULD CONCLUDE
THAT HE HAS SOME KIND OF POWER WITH YOU THAT SHE DOES NOT.
IT FEELS LIKE THERE'S A CONVERSATION
THAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN.
MAYBE THE BEST WAY TO DO IT IS JUST TO SEND YOU
AND YOUR SISTER ON A SISTER BEACH DAY
WHERE YOU CAN TALK TO HER ABOUT THIS RELATIONSHIP
AND WHY YOU KNOW IT'S RIGHT FOR YOU.
OKAY. YOU GUYS READY?
YES. ALRIGHT.
HOW DO WE DO A SEXY WALK ON THE BEACH?
I'M EXCITED THAT MY SISTER AND I GET TIME TOGETHER
AND WE CAN ACTUALLY GET TO THE DEEPER ISSUE.
HOW WAS LAST NIGHT FOR YOU?
LAST NIGHT WAS A LOT.
I'M GLAD WE WERE ABLE TO KIND OF OPEN UP
AND SAY WHAT WE HAD TO SAY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT COLBY?
COLBY IS AN ACQUIRED TASTE.
WHAT IF HE SAID, "MAYBE YOU NEED TO SHOW MORE SKIN"
OR "MAYBE YOU NEED YOUR BUTT DONE,
YOUR BEAUTY SCALE WOULD GO UP TWO POINTS"?
I FEEL LIKE IT HIT A NERVE AND YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING
AND YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HIDE IT.
SO THEN I THINK THE PART THAT WE'RE MISSING
IS I WAS ALREADY CONTEMPLATING IT.
I KNEW YOU WERE ALREADY CONTEMPLATING IT.
YOU'D BEEN CONTEMPLATING IT FOR OVER 5 YEARS.
YOU COULD SAY THAT YOU DON'T FIND IT OFFENSIVE,
BUT I FOUND IT OFFENSIVE, AND I DIDN'T LIKE IT.
I NEED FOR YOU TO JUST BE OPEN TO LISTEN TO ME,
'CAUSE YOU'RE VERY TALKATIVE.
THERE ARE TIMES IN THE CONVERSATIONS
WHERE YOU'RE THE DRIVING FORCE AND THEN I SAY SOMETHING
AND YOU'RE LIKE, "OKAY, NOW BACK TO ME."
AND SO THAT'S USUALLY HOW -- THE CONVERSATION WILL GO?
OKAY. YEAH.
I JUST WANT TO FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW, LIKE I'M BEING HEARD
AND I'M NOT, YOU KNOW -- I RESPECT THAT.
I CAN MEET YOU HALFWAY WITH THAT.
BUT, YOU KNOW -- THAT'S FINE, I'LL MEET YOU HALFWAY WITH THAT.
THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME.
MY SISTER HAS A BIG PERSONALITY
AND LIKES TO MAKE THINGS ABOUT HERSELF A LOT.
IT IS SOMETHING THAT I HAVE DEALT WITH FOR MY WHOLE LIFE,
BUT BEING ABLE TO ADDRESS IT NOW,
I THINK I MADE SOME HEADWAY.
I GET IT. I WANT TO INCLUDE YOU,
YOU KNOW, IN MY LIFE.
I WANT YOU AND COLBY TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP
AND I WANT YOU TO TRUST THAT I'M MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION
AND, YOU KNOW, PICKING SOMEBODY THAT I WANT TO BE WITH
WHO I LOVE, WHO LOVES ME. AT THE END OF THE DAY,
WE WERE SISTERS BEFORE I BECAME COLBY'S FIANCéE.
[ LAUGHS ]
I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU, TOO.
HEY, NO CRYING ON CAMERA, IT'S SO CLICHé.
I KNOW.
Imani: I DON'T LIKE TO SEE MY SISTER CRY.
I WANT TO WORK TOWARDS BUILDING A BETTER RELATIONSHIP WITH HER.
AT THIS POINT THAT I'M MOVING ONTO THIS NEXT STEP IN MY LIFE,
I DEFINITELY NEED MY FAMILY.
I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO ALLOW YOU TO SHINE
AND MAYBE JUST TAKE THE BACKSEAT SOMETIMES.
JUST SOMETIMES. [ LAUGHS ]
CAN WE COUNT HOW MANY?
Colby: THIS IS A SERIOUS QUESTION TO YOU ALL.
IF GOD HAS THE POWER TO DEMOLISH EVIL
AND HE DOESN'T, HOW IS HE GOOD?
Clarence: THAT'S A GREAT QUESTION
AND THAT'S WHERE FAITH COMES IN.
RIGHT. FAITH IS NOT A RELIABLE PATH TO THE TRUTH,
BECAUSE YOU CAN HAVE FAITH IN THINGS THAT AREN'T REAL.
WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN? I BELIEVE THAT THIS CHAIR
IS GOING TO HOLD ME WHEN I SIT DOWN
BECAUSE I'VE SAT IN A CHAIR BEFORE AND THAT'S WHAT IT DID.
AND WHAT IF IT BREAKS? AND THEN IF IT BREAKS, WHAT?
YOU'RE NOT GOING BELIEVE IN IT ANYMORE, RIGHT?
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE IN THE CHAIR NO MORE IF IT BREAKS?
YOU WON'T SIT IN A CHAIR NO MORE.
I UNDERSTAND HOW CHAIRS WORK AND SO, YES,
THERE IS A SMALL CHANCE THAT THIS CHAIR COULD BREAK.
AND IT MAKES MORE SENSE WHY YOU'RE CHALLENGING,
LIKE, YOUR FAITH, BECAUSE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW IT WORKS.
THE THING WITH ME -- I JUST WANT YOU GUYS
TO UNDERSTAND THAT IT'S EXTREMELY HARD
TO TURN AWAY FROM EVERYTHING THAT YOU THOUGHT WAS RIGHT,
IT'S EXTREMELY HARD TO TURN AWAY FROM THAT
AND ACCEPT WHAT YOU FOUND TO BE TRUE.
THAT HAS BEEN REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE FOR US
AND THIS IS NOT SOMETHING THAT I WANTED TO DO.
THIS IS NOT SOMETHING -- I WANTED TO BE A MINISTER,
BUT IN MY SEARCHING FOR THE TRUTH,
I CAN'T UN-KNOW THINGS THAT I NOW KNOW.
AND THOSE QUESTIONS YOU'VE GOT TO ASK GOD.
Clarence: RIGHT, AND THAT'S THE THING,
BUT YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO ASK GOD.
I CAN NEVER GET ANY ANSWERS. YOU'RE TRYING TO ASK MAN,
YOU'RE TRYING TO FIND OUT EVERYTHING FROM MAN,
FROM MAN'S LOGIC, THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
AND THAT'S WHY I SAY KEEP DIGGING. KEEP GOING.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO UN-LEARN TO SEE.
Ariel: SO Y'ALL CAN JUST GO GRAB A PLATE AND SIT.
OKAY.
Imani: COLBY... I WAS JUST TASTING EVERYTHING.
...YOU HAVE FOOD ALL OVER YOUR FACE.
Diva: ALRIGHT, TRENT.
Trent: ALRIGHT, CLOSE YOUR EYES.
LORD, THANK YOU FOR THIS DAY. THANK YOU FOR WAKING US UP
THIS MORNING, OH, LORD. THANK YOU FOR GATHERING US
HERE AT THIS TABLE AND LETTING US HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY.
I ASK THAT YOU BLESS THIS FOOD AND BE HELPING
AND NOURISHING TOWARDS OUR BODIES AS WELL.
IN JESUS' NAME I PRAY. AMEN.
-AMEN. -THANK YOU, SIR.
SO HOW WAS THE BEACH?
IT WAS GOOD. I'M GLAD THAT WE GOT A TIME TO, YOU KNOW,
SIT AND TALK TO ONE ANOTHER.
SO MY QUESTION FOR YOU GUYS IS,
DO YOU STILL THINK THAT I'M RUDE,
THINK THAT I'M CONTROLLING IMANI
OR DO YOU GUYS SEE MORE THAT IMANI DOES WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO.
DO I THINK YOU HAVE AN INFLUENCE ON IMANI? YES.
AND IT'S NOT TO SAY THAT IT'S ALL NEGATIVE INFLUENCE,
YOU KNOW, THERE IS SOME VERY POSITIVE STUFF THAT I'VE SEEN.
THAT MEANS A LOT.
THERE WAS SOMETHING ELSE THAT WAS, LIKE, SAID TODAY
THAT MY SISTER HAD DISCLOSED TO ME, AND I JUST DIDN'T LIKE IT.
Imani: TRACY ASKED ON THE SECOND DATE
IF WHEN YOU ASKED IMANI IF SHE'S WILLING TO GET BRACES OR NOT,
IF SHE SAID, "NO," WOULD YOU BE HERE TODAY?
AND COLBY SAID, "NO."
WE ARE STILL TALKING ABOUT BRACES RIGHT NOW.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
SO IF SHE WOULD HAVE SAID, "NO,"
YOU ALL WOULDN'T BE HERE AND ENGAGED,
SO YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T HAVE HAD A THIRD DATE.
RIGHT. BUT LIFE IS ABOUT THE CHOICES THAT YOU MAKE.
I'M BEING BRUTALLY HONEST ABOUT IT.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S CRAZY, I'M BRUTALLY HONEST TOO.
IF SHE SAID, "NO," WOULD THERE BE A THIRD DATE?
NO, I WOULDN'T HAVE.
HOW IS THAT RUDE?
SO IF SHE WOULD HAVE SAID, "NO," WOULD THERE BE A THIRD DATE?
NO, I WOULDN'T HAVE. HOW IS THAT RUDE?
THE ISSUE ITSELF ISN'T BRACES. IT'S DEEPER THAN THAT.
IT IS TELLING SOMEONE THEIR SELF WORTH,
TELLING SOMEONE THAT THEY HAVE TO ALTER SOMETHING
TO BE BEAUTIFUL. TELLING SOMEONE THAT,
"HEY, I WOULDN'T HAVE CONTINUED TO A THIRD DATE WITH YOU
IF YOU DID NOT ALTER YOUR APPEARANCE
OR CONSIDER IT FOR ME," AND IT'S NOT OKAY.
IT COMES OFF AS, IN MY OPINION, SHALLOW.
YOU HAVE A CERTAIN TYPE THAT YOU LIKE, RIGHT?
YES. IF A FAT, TALL MAN
CAME AND TRIED TO TALK TO YOU
AND THAT'S NOT YOUR TYPE, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T RESPOND LIKE COLBY,
BUT IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO TALK TO HIM
YOU WOULD WALK AWAY, CORRECT?
YEAH, AND I WOULDN'T RESPOND LIKE HIM.
THAT WAS HER CHOICE TO GET THE BRACES.
IT'S NOT ABOUT HER CHOICE, IT'S THE DELIVERY.
IT WOULDN'T CONTINUE TO A THIRD DATE IF SHE DIDN'T
AND YOU WOULD BE TWO POINTS BETTER IF YOU GOT IT.
THAT'S HOW HE IS.
COLBY IS NOT CONTROLLING HER.
YOU'RE NOT MARRIED, YOU PROBABLY DON'T UNDERSTAND.
HE AIN'T MAKE HER DO NOTHING SHE DIDN'T WANT TO DO.
HE SAID WHAT HE LIKED, SHE DID IT.
THAT'S WHAT YOU NEED TO STICK WITH, AND I'M DONE.
I'M GETTING UP BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE RUDE.
NICE DINNER. COLBY, YOU GOOD, BABY?
ALRIGHT.
-HEY, DANISHELA. -I'M GONE.
I'M SO PISSED RIGHT NOW.
I JUST GOT TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT BRACES AND HOW SHE CHANGE,
LIKE HE WAS JUST SOME KIND OF ASS[BLEEP] OR SOMETHING.
EVEN THOUGH I THINK THEY STUPID
WHEN IT COME TO NOT BELIEVING IN GOD,
THEY REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER GENUINELY
AND THAT'S WHAT I NEED EVERYBODY TO SEE.
NOT THAT SHE GOT BRACES ON HER TEETH.
Imani: ALRIGHT, PUT A LITTLE OIL IN THERE.
YOU'RE GONNA FLIP EACH SIDE.
TRENT, DON'T LOSE AT COOKING.
YOU HEAR ME GETTING INSTRUCTIONS.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
YOU CAN WIN AT THIS.
WHILE ARIEL AND I WERE ON THE BEACH
THAT MADE ME REALIZE IT'S VERY IMPORTANT OF ME
TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER AND I WANT THAT FOR YOU AS WELL.
I KIND OF WISH THAT YOU GUYS JUST REALLY FOCUS
ON THE RELATIONSHIP WITH EACH OTHER.
AT LEAST JUST SAY I ACKNOWLEDGE HOW YOU FEEL AND I UNDERSTAND
HOW THAT CAN BE SEEN AS RUDE.
SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE WOULD BE KIND OF RELUCTANT
TO COME TOGETHER AS A FAMILY.
IT KIND OF MAKES ME A LITTLE SAD.
SHE IS MY FAMILY.
WHATEVER YOU SAY DO, I'LL DO.
THAT WOULD, YOU KNOW, MEAN A LOT TO ME.
I'M GOING TO TAKE SOME EFFORT AND TRY TO TELL HER
THAT I UNDERSTAND WHERE SHE'S COMING FROM
AND I HOPE THAT SHE RECEIVES IT.
SO HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT LAST NIGHT?
I THINK IT'S APPARENT HOW I FEEL.
I FELT LIKE IT WAS APPROPRIATE FOR US
TO HAVE A ONE-ON-ONE CONVERSATION.
ONE THING I WANT TO SAY IS I UNDERSTAND
WHAT YOU'VE BEEN TRYING TO SAY.
YOU FEEL THAT CERTAIN THINGS WERE RUDE
BECAUSE YOU LOVE YOUR SISTER.
I THINK ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS
AND I DIDN'T GET THAT YOU GOT WHAT I WAS TAKING AT ALL.
I HAVE THE SAME ENERGY FROM LAST NIGHT,
IT HASN'T CHANGED, AND IT'LL CONTINUE THAT WAY.
I CAN'T RELATE WHEN IT COMES TO WHEN YOU SAY
I HAVE THE SAME ENERGY AS LAST NIGHT,
BECAUSE EVEN THE BIBLE SAYS
THAT EACH MORNING YOU GET A NEW GRACE.
AND IF WE ALL SHOULD TRY TO BE LIKE GOD, THEN, YOU KNOW,
YOU AND I SHOULD BE ABLE TO HAVE A CONVERSATION THE NEXT MORNING
AND NOT HOLD WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT AGAINST US.
WHY ARE YOU QUOTING THE BIBLE TO ME
WHEN YOU CLEARLY DON'T HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING OF THE BIBLE, ONE.
AND TWO, IT DOESN'T WORK WHERE YOU CAN PULL OUT A SCRIPTURE
SO I CAN GET ON BOARD WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE IT.
EVEN THE BIBLE SAYS THAT EACH MORNING YOU GET A NEW GRACE.
YOU AND I SHOULD BE ABLE TO HAVE A CONVERSATION THE NEXT MORNING
AND NOT HOLD WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT AGAINST US.
I'M TRYING TO BE GODLIKE, I'M IMPERFECT.
SO AS FAR AS THROWING THE SCRIPTURE AT ME,
WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY IS I STILL HAVE THAT SAME ENERGY
BECAUSE THOSE ARE MY FEELINGS AND I'M STAYING TRUE TO MYSELF.
THE NEGATIVITY, I'M JUST NOT HERE FOR IT
AND IF I DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND THAT THEN THAT'S MY CHOICE.
YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ANYTHING THAT I SAID.
I DID NOT ATTACK YOU FOR THINKING
THAT WHAT I SAID WAS RUDE. I'M JUST TELLING YOU RIGHT HERE
THAT I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU WERE SAYING
AND IF, YOU KNOW, IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME
UNDERSTANDING HOW YOU FELT THEN FINE,
I WON'T TRY ANY CONVERSATIONS LIKE THIS AGAIN.
BUT YOU SAY "I'M A WORK IN PROGRESS
AND DON'T THROW SCRIPTURE AT ME,"
I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANY OF THAT.
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU BELIEVE AND THAT'S WHAT YOU STRIVE FOR
THEN IT SHOULD JUST BE SOMETHING
THAT YOU DO. GOT IT.
ARE WE DONE?
YEAH, I'M DONE TALKING.
I TRIED TO BE OPTIMISTIC AND I WAS OPEN TO ME AND ARIEL
TRYING THINGS IN ORDER FOR US TO HAVE A CLOSER RELATIONSHIP,
BUT NOW I DON'T THINK THAT IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.
-HI. -HI.
-HOW ARE YOU? -I'M GOOD.
-GOOD. -GOOD MORNING. HAVE A SEAT.
WELCOME TO DAY THREE. HOW ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
WELL. I'M FINE.
WHY DON'T WE START WITH FINE?
THAT USUALLY MEANS "I'M HAVING A FEELING
I DON'T REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT IN DETAIL RIGHT NOW."
I'M A LOGICAL PERSON, SO I DON'T NECESSARILY GET ALONG
WITH PEOPLE THAT ARE JUST LED BY EMOTIONS,
THAT'S NOW HOW I OPERATE.
I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT IT WAS FOR ME TO GET MY FAMILY
AND HIS FAMILY ON BOARD WITH THEIR SUPPORT.
THAT IS REALLY, YOU KNOW, IMPORTANT TO ME.
IMANI, YOU HAVE ARRIVED AT THE PLACE
MOST PEOPLE WALK IN HERE.
I THINK BEFORE I CAME HERE
I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD TAKE MORE THAN THAT...
THAT'S RIGHT. ...TO GET THEM ON BOARD.
BUT NOW THAT I SEE THAT IT IS TAKING MORE THAN THAT,
THEN I'M WILLING TO GO THAT EXTRA MILE FOR THEM.
AND I FEEL LIKE YOUR FIANCé IS NOT.
THIS IS IMPORTANT, BECAUSE WHAT I HEAR YOU SAYING
IS YOU ACTUALLY WANT IT MORE THAN HE DOES.
AND RIGHT NOW THEN THAT MEANS YOU'RE STUCK A LITTLE BIT.
I ACTUALLY THINK YOU GUYS MIGHT HAVE JUST FOUND
YOUR FIRST REAL AREA OF DISAGREEMENT.
BUT AM I RIGHT? YOU TELL ME.
I FEEL LIKE THE DISTANCE IS RELATIVE.
I'M GOING AS FAR AS I CAN GO IN THIS SITUATION.
THAT'S MY SENSE, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE HOLDING OUT,
I THINK YOU'VE GONE AS FAR AS YOU CAN GO...
AND THAT'S NOT ENOUGH.
CAN YOU SEE THAT,
THAT IMANI'S IN A VERY DIFFERENT POSITION THAN YOU?
ABSOLUTELY. THERE'S A DISCONNECT
BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU NOW
THAT YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SORT OUT,
BECAUSE THE PROBLEM WITH YOU BEING LIKE,
"I'M TIRED OF THIS" OR "I'M OVER IT,"
IS THAT IT LEAVES YOUR PARTNER OUT ON HER OWN.
AND IN ORDER TO RESOLVE THIS ISSUE
WITH YOUR PARTNER AND HER FAMILY,
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO AT LEAST ACKNOWLEDGE
THAT IT'S A THING THAT YOU'RE WILLING TO WORK TOWARD.
SHE MADE A PHYSICAL CHANGE FOR YOU,
HOW WILLING ARE YOU TO MAKE AN EMOTIONAL CHANGE FOR HER?
DO YOU WANT ME TO BE MORE EMOTIONAL?
FOR HIM TO BE ABLE TO CONNECT TO MY SISTER'S EMOTIONS
AND I THINK THAT'S THE PART WHERE IT'S HARD FOR --
THEY BOTH NEED TO DO THAT.
IT ISN'T THE OUTCOME, IT'S THAT ONE HUMAN BEING GOT FELT
AND HEARD BY ANOTHER. THAT'S WHAT MOVES THINGS.
I AM VULNERABLE WHEN IT COMES TO IMANI,
BUT SHE'S THE ONLY PERSON THAT I'M VULNERABLE TO.
COLBY AND I ARE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO CONTINUE TO WORK
ON BUILDING THOSE RELATIONSHIPS WITH MY FAMILY.
OKAY, SO WE'RE ABOUT TO GO DOWNSTAIRS
AND DO THE BLESSING CEREMONY.
HOW ARE YOU FEELING? YOU JUST TOOK A DEEP BREATH.
I FEEL LIKE WE'RE PROBABLY NOT GOING TO GET THE BLESSING
FROM MY FAMILY AT LEAST.
I'M SCARED TO LOSE MY FAMILY
EVEN THOUGH I'M GAINING A FAMILY AS WELL WITH YOU.
I DON'T DEAL WITH EMOTIONS A LOT AND THAT'S JUST NOT WHO I AM.
I'M FEELING REALLY DISCOURAGED.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE I CAN DO.
Imani: THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING.
WE WERE HAPPY TO GET YOU ALL UNDER ONE ROOF
SO THAT WE CAN ASK FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND BLESSINGS.
Imani: WHEN I FIRST CAME IN THE HOUSE I DIDN'T THINK THAT IT WOULD BE
THIS HARD TO GET ALL OF OUR FAMILY'S BLESSINGS,
BUT I REALIZE THAT IT MEANT MORE TO ME THAN I THOUGHT.
I'M HOPING THAT THIS GOES WELL.
THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING,
WE'VE DEFINITELY HAD AN EVENTFUL THREE DAYS HERE TOGETHER,
BUT WE WERE HAPPY TO GET YOU ALL UNDER ONE ROOF.
SO NOW WE'RE GOING TO GO AROUND THE ROOM, ONE AT A TIME,
AND YOU GUYS CAN TELL US WHETHER YOU GIVE US YOUR BLESSING.
ALEX, DO WE HAVE YOUR BLESSING?
YOU GUYS STOOD TOGETHER ON EVERYTHING
AND I THINK, YOU KNOW, THAT WAS REALLY IMPRESSIVE.
I BELIEVE YOU TWO LOVE EACH OTHER
AND I FEEL COMFORTABLE GIVING YOU MY BLESSING
AND I THINK Y'ALL HAVE THE ABILITY
TO HAVE A VERY SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE.
CLARENCE.
IMANI, I KNOW YOU'RE YOUNG,
BUT IF YOU FEEL LIKE THIS IS SOMETHING
YOU'RE READY FOR WITH COLBY, THEN I'M ALL FOR IT.
AND NO DOUBT Y'ALL GOT MY BLESSING.
THANKS A LOT, CLARENCE.
DANISHELA, DO WE HAVE YOUR BLESSING?
WHEN I FIRST CAME HERE AND MY BIGGEST CONCERNS
WERE BOTH OF Y'ALL BEING ATHEISTS
AND NOT BELIEVING IN GOD, I 100% DISAGREED WITH Y'ALL.
I PRAYED FOR Y'ALL, I'M SAD FOR Y'ALL, I'M SCARED FOR Y'ALL,
AND FOR Y'ALL'S SAKE, I PRAY THAT Y'ALL ALRIGHT,
BECAUSE IF Y'ALL ARE WRONG IT'S GOING TO BE A LONG ETERNITY.
BUT I SEE THE LOVE AND I KNOW Y'ALL LOVE EACH OTHER
AND THAT'S WHAT COUNTS.
I WILL DEFINITELY GIVE YOU BOTH MY BLESSING.
TRENT.
I'M THANKFUL THAT, YOU KNOW,
I GOT THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE HERE
AND, YOU KNOW, REALLY UNDERSTAND WHO YOU ARE.
I DON'T AGREE WITH WHAT YOU BELIEVE,
BUT I'M NOT HERE TO JUDGE YOU,
AND LIKE YOUR SISTER I'M GONNA PRAY FOR Y'ALL.
I KNOW MY FAMILY'S GONNA PRAY FOR Y'ALL,
AND WE WANT THE BEST FOR Y'ALL. SO YOU DO HAVE MY BLESSING.
MOM, DO WE HAVE YOUR BLESSING?
WHEN I FIRST CAME HERE ALSO I HAD SOME CONCERNS.
THE AMOUNT OF INFLUENCE HE HAS ON YOUR LIFE,
THE FACT THAT WE JUST WILL NOT AGREE
ON YOUR PHILOSOPHY ABOUT GOD.
I CAN'T DIGEST THAT
AND IT'S HARD FOR ME TO GET PAST THAT.
SO I'M GOING TO RESERVE MY BLESSING FOR NOW.
ARIEL, DO WE HAVE YOUR BLESSING?
ONE OF MY THINGS IS I NEVER MET COLBY,
SO I'M HAPPY THAT I WAS ABLE TO MEET COLBY
AND MAKE MY OWN ASSESSMENT.
HE DOES HAVE A BIG INFLUENCE, IT'S BASICALLY DUE TO OPINION,
WHETHER IT'S POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE,
AND IF IT'S ALL POSITIVE FOR YOU THEN GREAT.
ALL I CAN DO IS JUST TRY TO UNDERSTAND
BUT AT THIS TIME I'M NOT COMFORTABLE TO SAY YES.
HEARING MY MOM AND MY SISTER
RESERVE THEIR BLESSING MAKES ME SAD.
I WANTED THEM TO BLESS OUR MARRIAGE
AND I DON'T SEE THAT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
BUT I'M WILLING TO WORK ON US
BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM.
JUST BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE MY BLESSING,
SHE'LL STILL BE ABLE TO OPEN UP TO ME
AND TALK TO ME AND VENT TO ME AND WE CAN WORK ON THOSE THINGS
THAT WE TALKED ABOUT AT THE BEACH.
WE APPRECIATE YOU ALL BEING HERE AND BEING TRANSPARENT WITH US.
WE DEFINITELY HAVE SOME WORK TO DO
TO BUILD THE RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FAMILY,
BUT WE ARE WILLING TO WORK TOWARDS THAT WITH YOU ALL.
OKAY.
THIS OVERALL EXPERIENCE HAS BEEN EMOTIONALLY TAXING FOR ME.
I DO NOT WEAR MY FEELINGS ON MY SLEEVE EITHER
AND SO IT WAS HARD GOING THROUGH AND HAVING THOSE
DEEP CONVERSATIONS WITH MY FAMILY MEMBERS.
BUT I DO FEEL AS THOUGH IT WAS NEEDED.
I CAN TAKE A POSITIVE OUT OF THIS SITUATION,
I'VE REASSURED COLBY'S FAMILY THAT I LOVE HIM
AND THAT IS, YOU KNOW,
SOMETHING THAT I'M TAKING AWAY FROM THIS EXPERIENCE.
GROUP HUG, GUYS? -YOU CAN SMILE.
Danishela: I HATE IT FOR HER, I REALLY DO,
BECAUSE I KNOW ONE THING IMANI DID WANT FROM ALL OF THIS
WAS FOR US TO BE ON ONE ACCORD.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT, THEY'LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
AND HOW THEY'RE GOING TO DEAL WITH IT, I DON'T KNOW.
HELLO, HOW'D IT GO?
LIKE WE EXPECTED.
I WAS HOPING THAT OUR FAMILIES COULD HAVE GIVEN US
THEIR BLESSINGS BEFORE THE MARRIAGE,
BUT IF WE END UP RECEIVING THEM DOWN THE ROAD
THEN I'LL BE HAPPY WITH THAT AS WELL.
-FAMILY OR... -FIANCé.
Man: GREAT, THANK YOU.
