Ms. Nygaard, are you familiar with the
defendant
Ms. Nygaard
Ms. Nygaard
Ms. Nygaard
I'm a baritone on my period
hello friends and welcome to another
video presentation sponsored by the
sheer size of my eyeballs
today we shall
be diving headfirst into the world of
soap making to distract you from
realizing that I am the birth child of
Oscar Wilde and Ace Ventura
thy and thou and so on and henceforth I have a
private Pinterest board comprising
images of origami moons shirts skirts
and things that I kind of hate but sort
of like but like a lot but don't enjoy I
love an item of clothing in a length of
pant a cumbersome quixotic cameltoe
these pants are quite literally up my
alley well alright now I am a sucker for
fancy soap I could spend a good three
days walking around artisanal soap
dispensaries inhaling the fumes until I
heard of ringing and got light-headed
and I started burglarizing the store and
the general manager asked me to leave I
don't even prefer soap to a liquid body
wash but people are gonna eat this shit
up and mama needs a new black dress a
gentlewoman might wear a feather to a
luncheon I feel like these online video
tutorials are most usually quite
relaxing but with this one it's like oh
holy cow don't spill it on this left
boob because it's the better one for my
homemade bar of swirly pearly soupy
poopy soap I wanted to quickly go
retrieve my favorite kind of soap so I
got on a plane to Japan with my partner
Tyler to whom I am engaged betrothed and
affianced we swiftly came home and after
about three hours of toiling with said
bastard soap we realized we had been
working really hard we've been working
really hard so we decided to grab lunch
and got on a plane to Japan just me and
my partner Tyler to whom I am engaged
betrothed and affianced upon our return I
discovered I had left the
burner on and the whole place have gone up in
flames so abandoning my soap making
ideas as swiftly as they came to me in a
midsummer night's dream as I lay asleep
next to my partner Tyler to whom I am enga-
my next step was to find another
way to fulfill my hourly syllabic quota
don't hate enunciate I decided to try on
potential wedding gowns for my wedding
that I will be having to get married I'm
getting married I had considered
ordering a mystery gown from either
stitch fix, le tote wantable or trunk club
I came across this oddly enticing denim
gown from fashion Nova which is
distressed in the butt which is
perfectly fitting for me as I too am
distressed in the butt I shall order
five and now let us see what we shall
now get order next this gown looks white
tight and alright after purchasing 82
outfits and some novelty pineapple
glasses it was time to try some couture
perhaps at this juncture in order to
proceed I should confer with my partner
Tyler to whom I am enslaved manacled and
betwatted I am a giant goose! Is the
dress making you walk like that?
unconfirmed I was truly feeling my oats
in some perplexing capri Bermuda buttock
culottes
this is going to sound really silly but
I feel really sexy and I- skies out sighs
out that's what I always say a bird
definitely just pooped on me shits out
pits out my feet are not designed for
heels and I might have to reconsider the
footwear attire in my ongoing quest to
become a woman I am tempted to sample
the chic French beret how does one beret
I am impressed with the internet to IRL
translation the model on Instagram
pooches out her butt
but in recreating said image we came to
the conclusion that I have consumed far
too much lingonberry and the fit of the
top is a little off since my arms are
long my wingspan is identical to that of
a Charizard let's expose my buttock to
unify the Koreas aerated grass hello
there's been a catastrophic earthquake
in Chile
well alright and do you Safiya take Tyler
to be your lawfully wedded husband
shmash
right can we stop this now
please this is just getting silly
thank you for coming for Safiya Nygaard that
was an absolute pleasure to do if you're
watching this Sofia hi love did it start
to sound a little bit Elizabeth Holmes-y
in places? what's deeper my voice or
the trouble I'm in yeah it's not for me
to say I haven't done one of these in
absolute ages but we're back again if
you've never been here before was a
whole plethora people to choose from to
watch as I just rip them to shreds this
video people have been tweeting at me
non-stop I know that he did a video of
Cristine like he's done a bunch of
these but let me just see really quick
well yeah like he's done simply no
logical grav3yardgirl Kathleen Zellner
oh my god
so thank you for coming to the Novympia experience now if you want to see
what Sofia thought of this parody then
we have to make sure she sees it as
always there's gonna be a very very
small clip of this on Twitter you can
find my Twitter Instagram right here
let's you know tag her its retweet it
maybe she'll see it maybe she'll cry and
you know who the hell's gonna be next
who's gonna be next well I mean probably
we're gonna be gearing up to do a Claire
Saffitz parody from Gourmet Makes Nova
and I incorporating all those people in
that stupid kitchen and then maybe Mrs.
Crocombe as well from what is that
channel English Heritage I don't know
because that will just be heinous so yes
I've been Olympia- ow I've been Olympia
you for coming dolls there'll be a message
afterwards about joining the Patreon and
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alright cheers
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