"HEY GUYS, COMEDYSHORTSGAMER HERE!"
AM I LOUD ENOUGH!?
Hello everyone, hope you're all enjoying your day today!
I'm not.
I was reading the comments on the last video
and a lot of you wanted me to talk about
a MineCraft... school.... shooting.
Every video gets worse. *Goes away from desk*
Every video gets worse.
Now before I start the video I can't wait for the generic,
"*Grunt* *Grunt* Someone did this before you!
Leafy did this before you! Leafy clone! *Grunt*
*Cough/Wheeze*
You need to tell me someone talked about something before I did?
Fuckin' hell
Then I-I can't talk about it then it-it *clap* it's their fucking property.
Isn't it?
Jesus Christ
I'm-I'm sorry. Thank you for teaching me how the Internet works! *Sarcasm*
A lot of people know that Leafy has already covered this and other YouTubers.
But they wanted to hear my opinion on it. I guess?
So I'm just gonna go with that.
Now what's basically made everyone jump on this huge circle jerk bandwagon
Is-Is that there is this guy called BurtGasm.
"LOL! ORGASM! *Wheeze* LOL!"
Basically he made a MineCraft highschool sh- *wheeze* *laugh*
I can't say that line.
I can not.
Seriously, straight face say that line.
A MineCraft highsch- *wheeze* *laugh*
But anyway ju-just p-play play the video play the video before I fucking die
just play it.
*Cringe Begins Please Be Safe :)*
BurtGasm: "Well I'm glad that Jack's mom is going to go help by going to talk to him while he's in jail."
FIRSTLY... Firstly....
Lovin' that somber music
You know, to build the atmosphere
WHERE'S UKULELE BOY!? BRING HIM IN NOW!
BurtGasm: "I think all of this drama may finally be
coming to an end!"
"What a beautiful day. Look at Hope and Justin, happy as ever..."
"and there's my girlfriend, Sarah. Hi Sarah, how are you?"
*Intense Laughter*
Now I don't know about you,
but this MineCraft server seems a bit
too perfect, doesn't it?
BurtGasm (slowly): "Hi, Sara-"
"Small Loan-"
So Burt basically role plays with these characters
pretending to sound like various small children.
ok *very quiet*
I know this is goin' a bit off topic, but
I feel like watching this video I'm watching a man
slowly lose his sanity.
He's basically like Salad Fingers with
his little finger puppets
Remember Salad Fingers?
Salad Fingers was all on his own
after the nuclear apocalypse
and he had nothing to play with
except finger puppets on his hands.
They-They were people in his imagination
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HE'S DOING!
So eventually Burt stops talking to his in-game girlfriend.
BurtGasm: "All right. I'll see you later, Sarah. Love you."
"I LOVE SCHOOL!"
*Wheeze then Intense Laughter*
THE CRINGE!
The Cringe!
*Grunt*
*Grunt*
Listen Burt, I love you man, you're a great YouTuber
I'd take you on long romantic walks on the beach,
I'd take you out to romantic dinner!
And then I'd let you sit on my face. *WTF PYRO*
But I can't-
I can't physically watch this man. It hurts
It hurts.
It fucking hurts so bad.
In the next scene we see Burt enjoying his steak.
UHH
Maybe a bit too much.
BurtGasm: "Nobody likes steak?"
"Oh. Oh! God, it's so good!" *Sexual moaning
*INTENSE STEAK GRINDING*
"Oh. Oh hey, Principal Ethan! Uh.. Is everything okay?"
The totally dead look in my face
shows that everything is totally okay.
"All right, Principal Ethan. Uh...
so, what exactly is going on?"
Firstly I just wanna point out
They're in a school,
They're in the principal's office.
*So why is there a human skull on the desk!?*
Then the principal explains that,
not only has there been a break out,
Not only has the only guy
escaped killed an officer and has his gun,
But he came to the school
and now he's coming back to...
get revenge!
This is worse than Twilight
"WHAT IS THIS?!"
BurtGasm: "Well, what do we do!?
He's obviously headed for the school."
Principal Ethan: "That is why I grabbed you
and Sarah to let you know."
Yes, because telling two random kids
that an armed gunman
is coming to shoot everyone is such a great idea!
Definitely
Definitely preparing for the worst thing
You know guys! Fantastic work! Fan-
BurtGasm: "What about anybody at the school!?"
Principal Ethan: "The school is being watched by Officer Andrew and Michaels. We should be safe."
I love how unsure he is of his own students safety.
"OH yeah, jus-just stick two cops in front of the school, you know?
"They might be able to handle him, i-it's a 50/50 chance,
"We could've evacuated all the students to safety but... that's fucking effort fuck that!"
Principal Ethan: "For now, go back to your classes and pretend nothing has happened."
*small laugh*
I can't, I can't take this seriously anymore, fuckin' hell.
This is terrible.
Not only has he told him that a gunman may or may not come to the school,
The principal actually says to the kids,
"Yeah, we might die, uhh... just go back to class, pretend nothing happened. YOLO!"
and then it happens!
Jack comes into school and it is
literally the most offensive and
cringe-worthy thing I've seen in my 18
years of existence on this planet.
"Are you gonna be okay?"
"But... Let's just try to keep it together okay?"
"I mean that's honestly all we can-" (gunshot)
(people panicking) "God! Sarah, in here quick!"
(gunshot)
I honestly don't know where to begin
with the scene, like in Burt's defense,
he's not trying to mock the situation or
anything,
school shootings are a very serious
thing that happens.
but, I think the problem is Burt was kind of fucked from
day one because
he's trying to apply something serious that ruins lives
inside of MineCraft.
The two, kinda don't go together. It's like trying to put your penis inside the disc tray.
If you try it hard enough you'll probably just get it cut in half.
I think the most offensive thing about
this is he's trying to apply a school shooting,
something that happens in real
life and destroys lives, and he's putting
this kind of like... thriller film tone on
it like its fucking Die Hard or
something, like this kind of revenge
story with Jack coming back to the school.
Now stuff like this does happen in real life and that
can be the motive for some school
shooters.
But... not in Minecraft... not in Minecraft...
fucking Christ
BurtGasm: "H-He's here to kill me! He's here to kill you...
"He's here to kill.... Justin and he's here to kill Hope and...
"Oh God! OH GOD!"
NOPE
NOPE
(leaves chair) Fuck this, I'm-
NOPE
NOPE
NOPE
no
(door closes)
Will the school shooter kill all the children?
Find out next episode!
What a- what a family-friendly cliffhanger!
But honestly, to wrap it all up
Burt, if you're watching this, I do
particularly enjoy your videos.
I think you make a very entertaining and
slightly believable world.
But recreating a school shooting in Minecraft, even if
no one dies on screen, don't do it man.
Don't do it. It's like ISIS attacks in Minecraft.
You know you wouldn't do that, would you? would you do an Isis attack in- Oh my God...
Burt is conscious of what he's done and he's actually gone and renamed a lot of his videos recently.
He actually had some videos
called "Rape or Escape (Duct Tape Challenge)",
and now he's just rename those to "The Duct Tape Challenge". You know, to avoid further drama.
So he's taking the
right steps definitely.
So the moral of today's story is:
Don't recreate a school shooting in Minecraft...
'cause uhh... that's pretty shitty.
Comment down below if there's anything you want me to talk about next,
any videos or any article, stuff like that i'll be happy to talk about them
Also be sure to smash like if you have
eyelashes.
If we could reach 10,000 eyelashes that'd be great-
Subtitles by whoever did it (look at desc),
Edited by stefan5035
