[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Whatís up guys? Man are you having a good
summer? Well I bet your not having a good
summer as these guys. This lady here is about
to do this rope swing! (but we love to watch
other people get hurt) we already know whatís
gonna happen next ñ I donít even have to
show the video ñ we donít have to watch
it, we can skip it! (lets watch this lady
eat s****) Alright! Just for the hell of it!
Letís watch it!
[Rope Swing Faceplant - Clip]
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Now that gem got about 100,000 views in a
few days and honestly I like this girl a lot!
I mean not like, like like, I mean Iím not
trying to like f(beep)k her (embarrassed girls
are the easiest to f****) or anything, Iím
not her step-dad. Iím just saying, she ate
it pretty damn hard and she still got up and
laughed about it (sheís a real trooper) and
then she goes on, she essentially goes on
and predicts what the trolls are gonna say
about her video.
[Rope Swing Faceplant - Clip]
Heíll be like, ìB^tch youíre too fat to
be wearing a two piece.î But it will be like
letís watch her anyway. And then she jumps
off and then she f(beep)ing eats it!î
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
She just basically reviewed her own viral
video! (girls in bikinis can do whatever the
f(beep) they want.) Girl you canít do that,
itís like dividing by zero! Thatís like
if you just got through having s(beep)x with
someone and your like: ìYa~~!î (Iím sorry
this has never happened to me before) was
great, man, I f(beep)k like (please donít
call me two pump chump) like a champ! Girl,
come on, you canít do that! Thatís my job!
I do the viral videos and you do the dishes!
Alright, weíll let it slide this one time,
girl, cause you got 90% naked on the internet
but (90% is an A-) but seriously, donít donít
take my job! Come over there and smack your
big @ss!
[Cool Transition]
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Alright, so when youíre a parent, you eventually
reach the sage where you just stop giving
a s(beep)t about your kids (Are 86th trimester
abortions legal?) Thatís what! Thatís what
good parents do, right? Alright, check out
this dad here. Alright look at, heís minding
his own business, you know, heís probably
just reading a little erotica on that Kindle
there (for all the girls watching). You know,
a little hentai on the (hentai is comic book
p)%n) iPad, who doesnít do that but I guess
his son has one of those Nerf guns and (itsí
Nerf of nothing!) and heís got some other
plans for dad!
[Nerf Gun on Bald Head - Clip]
(itís Nerf or my dadís bald f(beep)ing head)
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Whatís with that ñ that old guy doesnít
give a f(beep)k. And Iím like 90% sure (90%
is still an A-) that mom is over there, in
the corner, rolling herself a fat doobie!
What the hell, lady, you canít just sit over
there rolling a big @ss joint without passing
it. I mean (look kids mommy is high as f(beep)k!)
are they all high, is that what this is? No
wonder the dad isnít reacting! I mean, heís
all like: ìSon, I donít care if you shot
me, just please bring a big f(beep)kin (there
literally is nothing better than Cheetos when
you are high) bag of Cheetos. Now my guess
is the dadís all cool and calm while the
cameraís rolling but as soon as that thing
shuts off he goes into an ALL CAPS RAGE, like:
ìMother F(BEEP)ERî. And then he take the
f(beep)in Nerf gun and beats his sons @ss
with it and maybe stabs him with the ice-pick
a couple of times (this is what my parents
called Christmas) and hold his head in the
f(beep)ing bath, until the kid doesnít (yay
bath time) move anymore, and then he has to
hid the f(beep)in body under the house (along
with the fake Christmas tree). I mean, thatís
just my guess, (dad would never let us get
a real one) what happened.
[Cool Transition]
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
I love this cause the title in this last video
is something that is really wrong with this
[inaudible] now that title is pretty accurate.
(thatís the same name my parents gave me)
because I think there is some f(beep)in wrong
(but I switched it to Ray after I was emancipated
from them) with this dude, I mean, look at
him do, look at this guy do this Nicki Minaj
impersonations (Nicki Minaj impression).
[Freaky Nicki Minaj Cover Of Nicki Minaj ñ
Super Bass - Clip]
And he ill, he real, he might got a deal
He pop bottles and he got the right kind of
bill
He cold, he dope, he might sell coke
He always in the air, but he never fly coach
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
This dude got 150,000 views in a week and
that number is climbing fast, that dude is
blowing up! Dude, looks like Chris Tucker
having a seizure.
[Freaky Nicki Minaj Cover - Clip]
And yes youíll get slapped if youíre lookiní
hoe
I said, excuse me youíre a hell of a guy
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
No. No. No. More like a New York City crack
addict being possessed, literally being possessed
but Satan!
[Freaky Nicki Minaj Cover - Clip]
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Now that I think about it. It is a pretty
good Nicki Minaj impersonation, I mean the
dudes got the moves down and I swear to God.
And about 25 seconds in, this muther(beep)er
(that is what a real b^tch slap is) slaps
himself. Now thatís some method acting, (itís
called meth acting) right there, now admittedly,
Youtube is home to some pretty strange characters,
I mean, not, not like me, but, like, mainly,
you guys, really everyone other than me! But
this guy is on a whole other level! Turns
out, heís an entertainer, and heís entertainer
name is Crunk Coco! I could not of made up
a better name, myself. That s(beep)t sounds
like a rappers breakfast cereal. (Crunk Coco)
B^tch you about to eat a bowl of Crunk COCO!
Real gangstas in the hood-start there morning
off right, with a bowl of Crunk COCO! That
s(beep)t is part of a balanced breakfast in
this muther(beep)er! Anyway! based on the
success of this video, Crunk Coco, I love
that name, he, he, he probably has a chance
of breaking into the industry which is great.
[Freaky Nicki Minaj Cover - Clip]
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
And Crunk Coco, while youíre at it, slapping
yourself around, could you slap this one chick
over here for me.
[Rope Swing Faceplant - Clip]
Am I gonna be ñ Am I gonna be famous?
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Trying to take my job, reviewing your own
video ñ girl ñ girl ñ Iíll smack your
big @ss! But you know what else needs a smack
on the @ss? The comment question of the day
which comes from a dude named bam VeryFormal,
and he said:
[Very Formal]
Whatís your freaky talent? (bends finger
back)
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Crazy b@st@rd! You and Crunk Coco need to
hand out. Anyway, (whatís your freaky talent?)
Whatís your freaky talent?
[Ray William Johnson]
Leave your interesting and creative responses
in the comment section below, or on Facebook,
Twitter or Google Plus.
[Cool Transition]
[Ray William Johnson]
But thanks for watching todayís episode of
Equals Three, Iím Ray William Johnson, and
I approve this message. So tell me guys, (DC
or Marvel?)
[Outer]
(The outer song Ray William Johnson ñ Robot
Bar Fight)
