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♪♪
WELCOME BACK TO
"THE DAILY BITE," BEST FRIENDS!
DID YOU GUYS SEE DICKIE
IN "RETURN OF THE MEGASHARK"
LAST NIGHT?
MAN, I HAVEN'T SEEN SOMETHING
THAT MEGA SINCE LAST TIME
I CRIED IN FRONT
OF REBECCA'S FRIENDS
WHEN I TRICKED THEM INTO COMING
TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.
HEY!
WE GOT A GREAT SHOW!
LET'S DO THIS DANG THANG!
Narrator:
IT'S SHARK TIME, BABY,
AND I USE "BABY"
TO REFER TO EVERYONE.
ON TODAY'S EPISODE
OF THE "THE DAILY BITE,"
IT'S A LOOK AT
"NAKED AND AFRAID OF SHARKS"...
PLUS, CUTE SHARK BABIES...
AND A DEEP DIVE INTO SOME
SHARK WEEK BREAKTHROUGHS.
THIS IS "THE DAILY BITE."
I HEARD A RUMOR
THAT YAMANEIKA SAUNDERS
IS ABOUT TO WATCH A PREVIEW
OF "NAKED AND AFRAID OF SHARKS."
I'M NOT SURE HOW RELIABLE
THE SOURCE IS,
BUT I'M READING THIS OFF A CARD
SOME LADY IS HOLDING SO...
TAKE THAT AS YOU WILL.
WATCH.
♪ SHE BE TALKIN' MONEY,
LOOKIN' BOUGIE, DOWN TO RIDE ♪
♪ ON A BOAT ♪
♪ SPLASH ♪
LOOK!
IT'S "NAKED AND AFRAID
OF SHARKS."
THIS IS EVERY BEGINNING
OF A HORROR MOVIE, RIGHT,
WHEN SIX WHITE PEOPLE
WALK OUT INTO THE WATER
WITH NO CLOTHES ON.
THIS IS EVERY TRAILER
WE'VE SEEN SINCE 2005.
THERE'S A SHARK!
YOU ALMOST GOT IN TROUBLE
WITH THESE SHARKS...
WHY ARE THEY CONSTANTLY
TRYING TO FISH?
THEY NEED TO GO GET BERRIES
OR SOMETHING.
♪♪
I THINK EVERY TIME THE SHARKS
SEE THEM AND THEY'RE NAKED,
THEY'RE LIKE, "DINNER TIME."
IT'S LIKE -- YOU KNOW WHEN YOU
PUT SOMETHING IN THE MICROWAVE,
LIKE A DINNER IN THE MICROWAVE,
AND YOU START PRESSING BUTTONS
AND IT GETS DOWN
THE FINAL SECONDS?
THIS IS THEIR FINAL SECONDS.
MAKE SURE YOU WATCH
"NAKED AND AFRAID OF SHARKS."
♪♪
♪♪
Man: THE GREAT WHITE SHARK HAS
THE STRONGEST BITE FORCE
ON THE PLANET -- TWO TONS.
UNLIKE MOST SHARKS,
THE GREAT WHITE IS WARM-BLOODED,
WHICH HELPS IT HUNT IN
COLD WATERS AND CONSERVE ENERGY.
THEIR SKELETONS ARE MADE
OF CARTILAGE,
ALLOWING THEM TO SWIM FASTER,
STAY AFLOAT,
AND MAKE SHARP TURNS
WITHOUT EXPELLING EXTRA ENERGY.
THE GREAT WHITE
IS A BORN HUNTER.
FROM BIRTH, THEY FEND
FOR THEMSELVES
AND CAN VARY THEIR HUNTING
METHODS TO THEIR PREY,
WHICH INCLUDE DOLPHINS, SEALS,
AND EVEN OTHER SHARKS.
EVERY QUALITY OF THE GREAT WHITE
IS TAILORED TO HUNTING,
THUS MAKING IT
THE ULTIMATE OCEAN HUNTER --
AND WITHOUT A DOUBT
THE BADDEST PREDATOR.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS.
IT'S TIME FOR --
IT'S TIME FOR SHARK SEX 101.
OH, YEAH, BABY!
MM, MM, MM!
DEVONTE! COVER YOU EYES.
HE'S TOO YOUNG
FOR THIS KIND OF FUN.
CAP'N...
DO IT.
THANKS, JORDAN.
TODAY ON SHARK SEX 101,
WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT BIRTH.
♪ HUSH LITTLE BABY,
DON'T SAY A WORD ♪
The Captain: SHARKS CAN BE BORN
ONE OF THREE WAYS --
LIVE BIRTH,
ESCAPING FROM AN EGG PRISON,
OR A COMBINATION OF THE TWO --
HATCHING INSIDE AND THEN
COMING OUT FULLY ALIVE.
ESSENTIALLY,
EVERY BIRTH SITUATION
EXCEPT A "C-SECTION."
[sea-section]
GET IT? "C-SECTION"?
[sea-section]
THAT WAS TOO EASY, JORDAN.
FOR STARTERS, LET'S TALK
ABOUT OUR BUDDIES IN THE EGGS.
ABOUT 1/3 OF SHARKS ENGAGE
IN OVIPARITY,
WHICH IS BASICALLY
JUST A FANCY-ASS WORD
FOR LAYING EGGS LIKE A BIRD.
BUT THE FEMALE DOESN'T
JUST DUMP 'EM AND DIP.
PORT JACKSON SHARKS,
FOR EXAMPLE,
CARRY THEIR EGG
IN THEIR MOUTH
UNTIL THEY FIND THE PERFECT
HIDING SPOT FOR IT,
WHICH IS GENERALLY
THE CREVICE OF A ROCK.
THERE, THE EGG'S NATURALLY
TWISTED SHAPE
WILL KEEP IT
LOCKED INTO PLACE.
LIKE PUTTING THE CORK
IN A WINE BOTTLE --
YOU'RE GONNA NEED A LOT
OF DRUNKEN INGENUITY,
OR THE RIGHT TOOLS,
TO GET IT OUT.
AFTER THIS, THEN SHE DIPS.
BUT AT LEAST SHE LEFT
THE EGGS SOMEWHERE SAFE,
LIKE LEAVING YOUR BABY
ON THE STEPS OF A CHURCH.
BECAUSE IF SHE DIDN'T HIDE
THAT EGG WELL ENOUGH,
OTHER SHARKS WILL FIND
AND DEVOUR IT --
LIKE YOUR HUNGRY-ASS COWORKERS
WILL DO
IF YOU DON'T TUCK YOUR LUNCH
DEEP ENOUGH
IN THE BACK
OF THE COMMUNAL FRIDGE.
IN FACT, MALE HORN SHARKS
WILL OFTEN SEEK OUT
AND DEVOUR
THE PORT JACKSON SHARK EGGS
LIKE A PIG
LOOKING FOR A TRUFFLE.
ACTUALLY, IT'S MORE LIKE
AN EASTER EGG HUNT,
EXCEPT UNDERWATER,
WITH LESS BUNNIES,
AND THERE'S WAY
TOO MANY DUDES PARTICIPATING.
ONCE FOUND, THE HORN SHARK
WILL CRACK INTO THAT EGG
WITH ITS POWERFUL LITTLE JAWS
LIKE YOU CRACK
INTO A BAG OF CHIPS
AFTER A NIGHT OF HEAVY DRINKING.
NEXT WE HAVE VIVIPARITY.
VIVIPAROUS SHARKS GIVE BIRTH
TO LIVE YOUNG,
LIKE THEIR MAMMAL FRIENDS
ON LAND, YOU KNOW,
EXCEPT WITHOUT
THE LEGS OF COURSE.
THE GROWING EMBRYOS
RECEIVE NUTRITION
THROUGH YOLK SACS
AND PLACENTA,
MAKING THIS THE MOST ADVANCED
FORM OF SHARK GESTATION.
THIS IS PRACTICED BY THE LARGER
SPECIES SUCH AS HAMMERHEADS.
I HAVE TO ADMIT, THOUGH,
IT WOULD BE COOL
TO WATCH A LITTLE GUY
HAMMER HIS WAY OUT OF AN EGG
LIKE SOME KIND OF TINY,
UNDERWATER CONSTRUCTION WORKER.
THE MAJORITY OF SHARKS
PRACTICE OVOVIVIPARITY,
A COMBINATION
OF THE FIRST TWO METHODS.
THE EGGS HATCH INSIDE THE FEMALE
AND THE PUPS CONTINUE
TO GROW AND DEVELOP
UNTIL ITS TIME TO MAKE THEIR
LIVE ENTRANCE INTO THIS WORLD.
AND TRUST ME,
THEY MAKE AN ENTRANCE.
NEWBORN SHARKS COME OUT
READY TO MAKE [BLEEP] HAPPEN.
TO BE HONEST, SHARK PUPS
DON'T HAVE MUCH OF A CHOICE.
THEIR MOTHERS JUST LEAVE.
NOW, I KNOW SHARKS ARE
A GREAT INSPIRATION
FOR HOW WE AS HUMANS
CAN LIVE OUR LIVES
WITH FEROCITY AND DETERMINATION.
BUT I'D PROBABLY DRAW THE LINE
AT ABANDONING YOUR OWN YOUNG.
THAT'S QUITE FROWNED UPON.
MAINLY BECAUSE HUMAN BABIES
AREN'T NEARLY AS BADASS
AS OUR UNDERWATER COUNTERPARTS.
GOD, HUMANS ARE SO [BLEEP]
WEAK.
NOW, WHEN I SAY SHARK PUPS
COME OUT CAPABLE, I MEAN IT.
A GREAT WHITE, FOR EXAMPLE,
IS BORN AROUND FIVE FEET LONG,
WEIGHING MORE THAN 75 POUNDS.
HOW CRAZY IS THAT?
A GREAT WHITE BABY
IS NEARLY THE SAME HEIGHT
AS YOUR LAST BOYFRIEND.
SEE, WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN
IS THERE'S GONNA BE A SHORT GUY
NEXT TO THEIR GIRLFRIEND.
WHEN THEY SEE THAT,
SHE'S GONNA LOOK AT HIM
AND HE'S GONNA BE LIKE,
"[BLEEP]."
I'M THE CAPTAIN,
AND THAT WAS SHARK SEX 101.
I HOPE YOU TOOK NOTES,
BECAUSE THERE'S GONNA BE A TEST.
WHY DO I LOVE SHARKS?
BECAUSE THEY'RE A PART
OF THE OCEAN,
AND I LOVE THE OCEAN.
HOW IMPORTANT ARE SHARKS?
THE SHARKS ARE IN ALL THE OCEANS
FOR A REASON.
THEY'RE A HUGE PART
OF THE ECOSYSTEM
AND THE BALANCE
OF THE OCEAN ITSELF,
SO PEOPLE SHOULD
NOT FEAR SHARKS.
AND I THINK THAT THINGS
LIKE DISCOVERING THE WORK
THAT PEOPLE DO AROUND HERE --
I'M VERY OPTIMISTIC ABOUT THAT,
THAT THE SHARKS WILL BE AROUND
FOR A LONG TIME
TO DO
WHAT THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO DO.
THAT'S FIN-CREDIBLE!
PART OF BEING
AN AWARD-WINNING HOST
IS CREATING SMOOTH TRANSITIONS
FOR SEGMENT TO SEGMENT,
YOU KNOW?
I, UM...
LET'S WATCH THIS CLIP.
♪♪
Narrator: IN HUALIEN, TAIWAN,
SHARK RESEARCHERS DAVE EBERT
AND PAUL CLERKIN
HAD AN UNSUCCESSFUL NIGHT
TRYING TO FIND THE RARE
MEGAMOUTH SHARK.
Stone: VERY LITTLE IS KNOWN
ABOUT THIS GIANT ALIEN SHARK,
BUT IF PAUL AND DAVE SUCCEED
IN FINDING AND TAGGING ONE,
THAT WILL ALL CHANGE.
Clerkin: WE'RE BACK OUT HERE.
SECOND NIGHT ON THE WATER
LOOKING FOR A MEGAMOUTH.
AND I KNOW I WAS REALLY
OPTIMISTIC ABOUT SEEING ONE
LAST NIGHT AND TOTALLY BUMMED
THAT WE DIDN'T GET ONE.
Narrator: BUT TONIGHT,
THE TIDES HAVE CHANGED
FOR PAUL AND DAVE...LITERALLY.
Clerkin: NORMALLY HERE,
THE CURRENT FLOWS
FROM SOUTH TO NORTH,
AND RIGHT NOW IT'S FLOWING
FROM NORTH TO SOUTH.
THIS STIRS UP ALL THE NUTRIENTS,
WHICH MEANS WE KNOW THERE'S FOOD
IN THE WATER FOR MEGAMOUTH.
IT'S OUT THERE AND IT'S FEEDING,
AND ALL WE CAN DO IS HOPE
THAT IT'S IN OUR NETS.
-OHH!
-OHH!
-MEGAMOUTH?
-MEGAMOUTH!
-MEGAMOUTH!
-GOT ONE.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
Narrator: TO THE AMAZEMENT
OF EVERYONE ON BOARD,
A MEGAMOUTH IS IN THE NET.
WE JUST GOT A MEGAMOUTH,
SO...
FOR THE FIRST TIME
EVER, EVER.
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME EVER
THAT SCIENTISTS HAVE
SUCCESSFULLY LOCATED
A MEGAMOUTH
IN ITS NATURAL HABITAT.
WE'RE GONNA TAG IT,
TAKE THE DATA,
AND THEN WE'RE GONNA SEE
IF WE CAN GET THIS THING OUT.
BE SUPER CAREFUL.
[ GRUNTS ]
[ GRUNTS ]
-OKAY.
-IT'S IN. IT'S GOOD.
-THE TAG'S IN?
-YEAH, YEAH. TAG'S IN.
-OKAY.
-COME ON.
Narrator: FOR DAVE AND PAUL,
THEY HAVE ACCOMPLISHED
THE NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE --
FINDING AND TAGGING
THE RAREST SHARK ON THE PLANET.
-YEAH!
-YEAH, BABY!
SHOULD WE CUT THE NET
TO GET IT OUT?
WE'RE GONNA GO FROM KNOWING
NOTHING ABOUT MEGAMOUTH
TO KNOWING A WHOLE TON
ABOUT MEGAMOUTHS.
-IT'S SWIMMING OFF.
-SWIMMING OFF? GOOD.
THAT'S GOOD.
IT'S SWIMMING AWAY.
-WHEW!
-OKAY.
-YEAH, MAN!
-AWESOME, MAN. WAY TO GO, DUDE.
WHAT ARE WE
COOKING UP TODAY?
SOME SHARK CAKES!
OOH.
♪♪
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THANKS FOR WATCHING, SHARKHEADS.
IF YOU LIKED THIS,
YOU'LL LOVE TONIGHT'S
"NAKED AND AFRAID OF SHARKS."
IT HAS EVERYTHING THIS SHOW
HAS, BUT ALSO NAKED PEOPLE,
AND, LIKE...
OH, I'M SORRY.
I GOT DISTRACTED.
WHAT WAS I SAYING? OH, YEAH.
HAVE A GOOD NAKED.
OHH!
HAVE A GOOD NIGHT!
I MEAN A GOOD NIGHT.
HAH! AAH!
CUT TO BLACK!
STOP!
CRASH TO BLACK!
FADE OUT!
STOP THE --
♪♪
