(upbeat electronic music)
(heavy rock music)
- Hello.
My name is Katie Marovich,
and thank you all
for joining me at today's koom party.
And a special thank you to
our lovely host, Gloria.
(women chatting and applauding)
- Thank you so much, thank you.
(laughing)
- Yes.
Now some of you might
be asking, what is koom?
Is it just your initials
with two random Os
arbitrarily shoved into
the middle? (laughs)
Oh ladies, yes.
(laughing)
It is.
But it is so much more than that.
- Mm-hmm.
- Koom is a lifestyle brand.
But it's not just a lifestyle brand.
- Hmm.
Koom is also a wellness brand.
- Hmm.
- But here's the thing, it's
not just a wellness brand.
- Wow.
- Koom is also a health brand.
- Oh.
- Health, wellness, lifestyle.
H, W, L.
That spells koom.
- Hmm, right.
- I'm here to share with you
koom's revolutionary new product.
An ancient organic substance
used for centuries by indigenous people.
- I love indigenous people.
- I saw a documentary
about indigenous people.
- And it's also, uh, has
gluten free ingredients.
(sighs)
And it's dairy free.
- I mean, you can't have dairy.
- Yeah, dairy free.
- Hmm.
- Microcaine will give
you a feeling of euphoria.
It will make you stronger, and more alert.
On Microcaine, you're gonna
wanna dance all night long.
(laughing)
- [Woman] But dance?
- It will make you want to come up
with ridiculous premises for 80's movies.
And it has been known to
make people jump off roofs.
Into pools.
(laughing)
Into pools.
(laughing)
- I'm sorry, it kinda sounds
like you're selling us cocaine?
- Let her finish.
Did I burst a blood vessel
in my eye?
- No, you didn't.
- How's your temperature?
- It's high.
(clears throat)
- Anyway, microcaine is about
connecting that inner innerness.
It's not about being skinny,
but microcaine makes you skinny.
(laughing)
It does.
- I guess I'll take some. (laughs)
- Even the rich and famous,
shh, stays between us,
use microcaine.
I'm talking about Robert Downey
Jr., Kate Moss, Hugh Grant.
(laughing)
- Hubba hubba.
- And Mary Berry.
- From The Great British Bake Off?
- No, I'm sorry, Marion Barry.
The former mayor of the
District of Columbia.
- Okay, yeah.
- I'm sorry, is no one else
hearing what I'm hearing?
- Shut up, stop it, Jill!
- I'm perspirating.
- No, no, no, no.
- Nobody likes a party pooper.
So maybe we just, we just
quiet down a little bit.
- [Gloria] That's right.
- Today I have a wide variety of products
for you to choose from.
Here is our original bottle.
Ni, ni, ni, ni, ni. (laughs)
And here is our newer model,
which is exactly the same,
but it's way more money,
and it's just in a different bottle.
- Yeah, I want that.
- White women.
- Thanks for watching that
promo of Kingpin Katie.
If you liked it, I'm gonna blow your mind.
There are full episodes you
can watch right now on Dropout.
I normally don't like the things I'm in.
No, no, I am proud of myself.
Go to dropout.tv, and start
your free trial today.
(grunting)
Cheryl, what are you doing?
- I was gonna roundhouse kick him.
- No, you clearly wanted me to
call it off in the middle of that.
- No, I was getting ready.
- No.
- You have to take multiple steps.
