IT'S PRETTY SIMPLE.
I'M GOING TO QUIZ MEMBERS OF OUR
STUDIO AUDIENCE ABOUT THINGS
THAT HAVE HAPPENED SO FAR IN
THIS SHOW.
IF THEY ANSWER RIGHT, THEY GET A
PRIZE.
IF THEY ANSWER WRONG, THEY HAVE
TO FORFEIT THEIR SEAT TO ONE OF
THE MORE DESERVING AUDIENCE
MEMBERS, WAITING OUTSIDE IN OUR
"LATE LATE SHOW" BULLPEN.
NOW, THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO CAME
ALL THE WAY TO OUR STUDIO FOR
THE TAPING TODAY, BUT
UNFORTUNATELY GOT TO THE LINE
TOO LATE AND WERE TURNED AWAY.
WILL THEY GET TO SEE TODAY'S
SHOW AFTER ALL?
WE'LL FIND OUT SOON ENOUGH.
WHO WOULD LIKE TO PLAY?
WHO THINKS THEY'VE BEEN PAYING
ATTENTION?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
ANYONE THINK THEY HAVE BEEN
PAYING ATTENTION?
YOU THINK YOU HAVE BEEN PAYING A
TENG.
DO YOU THINK-- COME ON, COME,
COME, HOW ARE YOU?
>> GOOD, HOW ARE YOU.
>> James: I'M VERY WELL WHACK
IS YOUR NAME, WHERE ARE YOU
FROM.
>> NICK, I'M FROM LA.
>> James: HOW ARE YOU DOING.
>> AMAZING JZ IS IN YOUR FRIEND.
>> NO.
>> James: ARE YOU HERE ON YOUR
OWN.
>> YES.
>> James: WITH THIS HANDSOME
FACE.
>> THANK YOU, YES.
>> James: ARE YOU ON YOUR OWN.
>> YES.
>> James: HOW SWEET WHAT IS
GOING ON?
>> NOTHING.
>> James: WHY NO FRIENDS.
>> I JUST MOVED OUT HERE.
>> James: YOU JUST MOVED OUT
HERE.
YOU HAVE COME TO MAKE FRIENDS.
>> YEAH.
>> James: AND THIS GUY IS
GIVING YOU NOTHING?
>> NOTHING.
>> James: NOW WHAT HAVE YOU
MOVED OUT TO L.A. TO DO.
>> I'M A SINGER SONGWRITER.
>> James: SHUT THE FRONT DOOR.
>> YEAH.
>> James: ARE YOU REALLY?
>> YEAH.
>> James: WHAT SORT OF POP ARE
WE TALKING.
>> POP.
>> James: POP, DO YOU WANT TO
GIVE US A LITTLE TASTE?
>> SURE.
>> James: GO ON.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).
♪ I WANT THIS FOREVER, JUST
DOING THE GROTO.
♪ WHERE NOTHING BUT YOUR LIFE
SON.
♪ KEEP UP, LIGHTS ON.
♪ YOU DON'T NEED TO BATTLE
PURPLE COLOR LIFT.
♪ WORKING JUST.
♪ GOT AON THE SOFA COUCH.
♪ KITCHEN TABLE.
♪ IS MY VISION HAZY.
♪-- FINISH.
>> James: WELL DONE.
>> THANK YOU.
>> James: WELL DONE.
>> THANK YOU.
>> James: WELL DONE.
>> I REALLY HOPE I DON'T LOSE MY
SEAT.
>> James: YOU MIGHT LOSE YOUR
SEAT.
>> I WAS PAYING ATTENTION.
>> James: YOU REALLY THINK
WERE YOU PAYING ATTENTION.
>> YEAH J.
>> James: DO YOU THINK WERE
YOU PAYING ATTENTION.
>> I DO.
>> James: WE WILL FIND OUT.
HERE IS THE QUESTION DURING THE
QUEST CHECK IN IN-- GUEST CHECK
IN WITH JOHN DAVID WASHINGTON,
HE WAS WEARING A POLKA DOT
SHIRT.
WHAT COLOUR WERE THOSE POLKA
DOTS?
>> PURPLE.
>> James: HE GNT TO WEAR
PURPLING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
GOT TO FIND OUT IF IT IS REAL OR
TRUE, DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER,
POLKA DOT THE SHIRT, COULD BE
ANYBODY IN OR OUT ON THE STREET
WHAT?
(APPLAUSE)
'S GOING TO FIND OUT.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AND SEE IF ARE
YOU RIGHT.
JOHN DAVID WASHINGTON IS HERE
TONIGHT.
(APPLAUSE)
THERE HE IS.
THEY WERE WHITE, NOT EVEN CLOSE.
YOU WEREN'T CLOSE TO PAYING
ATTENTION.
>> I WAS PAYING ATTENTION  
ATTENTION TO YOU.
>> James: NOW ALL OF THE
ATTENTION WILL BE PLACED ON YOU.
TO BID US FAREWELL I'M GOING YOU
HAVE SING ERIC CARMEN'S 1975 HIT
SONG, ALL BY MYSELF ON YOUR WAY
OUT.
KY, WRITES, BRING US THE MOVIE,
SING AND LEAVE.
♪ ALL BY MYSELF.
♪ I WANT TO BE ALL BY MYSELFS.
♪ ANY MORE.
>> James: HE'S NOW OUT OF THE
STUDIO.
WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO.
♪ DON'T NOBODY KNOW LET'S BRING
SOMEONE.
♪ LET'S BRING IN A STAND BY.
PLAWSES
(APPLAUSE).
>> James: WELCOME.
HAVE A SEAT.
OKAY.
WHO WOULD LIKE TO PLAY NEXT?
WHO THINKS THEY HAVE BEEN PAYING
ATTENTION.
ANYBODY?
WHO'S-- REALLY, YES, COME ON,
COME, COME, COME, COME SEE ME.
HOW ARE YOU?
>> I'M GOODS, HOW ARE YOU.
>> James: I'M VERY, VERY WELL.
NOW DID YOU THAT THING OF BEING
VERY CONFIDENT ABOUT THINKING
YOU HAVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION
UNTIL I LOOKED AT YOU AND WENT
OH MY GOD, NO, I DIDN'T.
>> I JUST, I'M NERVOUS BUT I'M
FINE.
>> James: WHAT IS YOUR NAME,
WHERE ARE YOU FROM.
>> JACQUELINE AND I'M FROM L.A.
>> James: WHAT DO YOU DO.
>> I GO TO SCHOOL.
>> James: OKAY.
>> I SPEND TIME WITH MY FRIENDS.
>> James: AND WHAT DO YOU WANT
TO DO WHEN YOU FINISH SCHOOL?
>> MAYBE SOMETHING IN COMPUTER
SCIENCE.
>> James: NICE.
>> OR FASHION.
>> James: THEY ARE VERY
SIMILAR.
>> YEAH NO, I KNOW.
>> James: GOOD THING ABOUT
THEM IS IS IT IS VERY EASY TO
LEAPFROG FROM ONE TO THE OTHER.
I KNOW VIVIAN WESTWOOD WAS AN
INCREDIBLE HACKER BEFORE SHE
JUMPED INTO FASHION.
THE QUESTION IS DO YOU THINK YOU
HAVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION
DURING THE SHOW?
>> I DO.
>> James: LET'S FIND OUT.
OKAY, FOR THIS QUESTION I'M
GOING TO GIVE YOU THE SETUP TO A
JOKE FROM OUR MONOLOGUE.
I WANT TO YOU TELL ME WHAT THE
PUNCH LINE WAS.
THIS IS A JOKE I TOLD HERE IN
THE STUDIO, NO MORE THAN TEN
MINUTES AGO.
HERE IS THE SET UP, TODAY MARKS
THE 17th DAY OF THE ONGOING
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN MAKING IT
ONE OF THE LONGEST SHUTDOWNS IN
UNITED STATES HISTORY OR AS
DONALD TRUMP CALLS IT-- WHAT?
>> IF I'M A LITTLE OFF CAN I
STILL STAY.
>> James: LET'S FIND OUT.
>> ONE OF THE MOST MARVELOUS
GREAT SHUTDOWNS IN HISTORY.
>> James: LET'S HAVE A LOOK
AND SEE IF ARE YOU RIGHT, OR AS
DONALD TRUMP CALLS IT THE
BIGGEST, MOST FABULOUS SHUTDOWN
EVER.
WE WILL GIVE YOU THAT, WELL
DONE.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
WE'RE GOING TO GIVE YOU A PRIZE.
THIS IS A VOUCHER TO GET
YOURSELF SOME COFFEE SO YOU CAN
STAY ALERT ALL OF THE TIME.
WELL DONE.
(APPLAUSE)
ALL RIGHT, ANYBODY ELSE BEEN
PAYING ATTENTION?
SOMEONE DOWN THE AISLE, WAIT,
I'M GOING TO COME DOWNMENT I'M
GOING TO COME DOWN.
YOU GET TO CHOOSE FOR THE ENTIRE
AISLE, DO YOU WANT THE ASS OR
THE CROTCH?
>> ASS.
>> James: I BEG YOUR PARDON,
MADAME, YOU SHOCKED YOURSELF HOW
QUICKLY YOU SAID THAT, DIDN'T
YOU.
SHE WENT LIKE THIS ASS!
>> I MIGHT HER WORD FOR IT,
GOING WITH THE ASS.
>> James: DRINK IT IN, THERE
YOU GO.
DRINK IT IN.
DRINK IT IN.
STOP IT.
STOP IT.
STAND UP FOR ME.
>> HI.
>> James: HOW ARE YOU.
>> GOODS, THANK YOU.
>> James: DID I JUST STAND ON
YOUR TOE, ARE YOU SURE?
>> I'M GOOD.
>> James: I'LL SEE YOU IN
COURT.
ALL RIGHT.
>> EMILY.
>> James: EMILY, HOW ARE YOU,
WHERE ARE YOU FROM.
>> I'M GOOD, I'M FROM ORANGE
COUNTY.
>> James: HOW IS IT GOING?
I LOVE THIS ATTIRE, WE'VE GOT.
>> THANK YOU.
>> James: I CALL IT SORT OF
POWER DRESS CASUAL.
>> EXACTLY.
>> James: IS THAT WHAT ST, IT
LOOKS LIKE YOU FIRED SOMEONE IN
THE MORNING H A MASSAGE AND THEN
PICKED UP THE KIDS.
ALL RIGHT.
NOW DO YOU THINK YOU'VE BEEN
PAYING ATTENTION DURING THE
SHOW.
>> GOD, I HOPE SO.
>> James: LET'S HAVE A LOOK.
AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS GAME I
ASKED THE FIRST CONTESTANT ABOUT
WHAT JOHN DAVID WASHINGTON WAS
WEARING.
>> YES.
>> James: WHAT WAS THAT
CONTESTANTS NAME AND WHERE WERE
THEY FROM?
>> HE WAS FROM L.A
SIS SINGING WAS GREAT, I DON'T
REMEMBER HIS NAME.
>> James: YOU DON'T REMEMBER
MISS NAME.
>> NO.
>> James: DO YOU WANT TO TAKE
A GUESS.
SHE'S GONE WITH CHRISTOPHER.
WHAT SURNAME, WHERE ARE YOU
FROM.
>> NICKK I'LL FROM L.A.
>> James: OH, YOU WEREN'T EVEN
CLOSE TO PAYING ATTENTION.
AND GUESS WHAT, ALL OF THE
ATTENTION WILL BE PLACED ON YOU.
NOW HOPEFULLY YOU WERE PAYING
ATTENTION TO THE LAST PERSON WHO
LEFT.
CUZ YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE THE
EXACT SAME WAY.
KC LIGHTS, GIVE US SOME MUSIC,
SING AND LEAVE.
♪ ALL BY MYSELF.
♪ I WANT TO BE ALL BY MYSELF.
♪ ANY MORE.
♪ ALL BY MYSELF.
♪ DON'T WANT TO BE ALL BY
MYSELF.
>> James: THAT WAS WERE YOU
PAYING A TENG.
APPARENTLY THEY WEREN'T, LET'S
BRING IN A STAND BY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
