I wanted to talk about something called 'the
shadow' have you ever heard of it?
It's a principal based on Carl Jung's Jungian
Psychology.
So I want to talk about it, stay tuned!
So last week I was talking about "Conditioning"
so if you haven't watched that video I highly
recommend you begin with that one.
Growing as kids we are supposed to be compliant
to the adults or caregivers, right? in our
life.
Because we need to survive, we need they acceptance
to survive, so whatever they tell us to be
not acceptable but for us it is, like things
we want to express, things that are part of
us, and we are told that it is 'bad' = unacceptable
we suppress these and it get sent to the unconscious
mind because it is unacceptable in our environment.
So we are meant to follow their rules, our
survival is tied to following those rules,
so we end up suppressing parts of our selves
denying parts of ourselves that we identify
with including feelings, expressions, desires,
thoughts that are not seen as acceptable are
sent to the unconscious mind and this is what
Carl Jung called "The shadow" remember when
we are growing-up we don't think but navigate
the world through feelings until we are 8
years old.
As we are growing up we start to want to express
these things, they never go away (about our
lives, dreams, etc) and it is because of these
rules we start to suppress or repress them.
What we need to be careful is that what happens
when we do that.
When we deny our own experiences, our own
feelings, and emotions is not healthy because
two things will happen.
We will either suppress or repress so when
we suppress we are denying that we feel what
we feel we are invalidating ourselves our
own experiences, it is like if you are having
emotional pain but you are not going to acknowledge
it, you are going to hide it and not pay any
attention to it.
Repressing is when we are unconsciously not
acknowledging it and it's sent to the unconscious,
we deny our pain without being aware that
we are denying our own experiences.
The dangers of doing these is that they become
our shadow something that is filtered through
our brain and then sent to the unconscious
mind.
Sometimes we are not even aware i highly recommend
you read "Incognito, The Secret Lives of the
Brain" book because it explains how we think
we are operating from our consciousness right
now but really we are operating from the unconscious
which the unconscious is doing all of the
work.
We 
think that by denying them they will go away,
but they end up sabotaging our lives, they
end up recreating past circumstances, it is
like a hamster wheel you can't get out until
you see your shadow, patterns and things that
you do that you are not aware of that keep
you reliving the same mistakes, the same hurtful
experiences, the same stories, the same toxic
relationships so if something in your life
keeps showing up, and you end up noticing
you will ask yourself "why do I keep running
into this?" "what does this keep happening
to me?"
so instead of thinking you are a victim of
your story start asking yourself maybe this
is a clue of something that I need to face,
maybe this is a clue of a trigger, maybe this
is a clue to my pain, the source of my pain,
it is trying to come out and be acknowledged
that is why nothing is going to stop happening
until we face it until we are honest with
ourselves, avoiding it and suppressing or
repressing it is a shortcut and will only
bring more of it, it will keep repeating itself,
until you face it, one example of this is,
when i was very young I was living in a very
restricted environment with this rules and
I felt oppressed and I couldn't wait to be
18 to liberate myself and be free to make
my own decisions, but what ended up happening?
my shadow showed up in my 20's very strongly
after I was free and had a job were I was
making an ok living I was free having my own
apartment my own car but what did I do?
I had not faced many of my shadows and when
you do that they manifest unconsciously , so
I ended up making decisions out of patterns
and beliefs I held at the time which played
a role in recreating the same circumstances
I ran away from.
I lost almost everything, I sabotaged everything,
and I was again feeling like that teenager
and that is when I had my awakening when everything
went to shit again I realized by asking myself
what is the common denominator here, this
is repeating, how did I managed to make myself
live in an oppressive way again, how did I
recreate that story that trauma again?
That is when I started to face my shadow I
was able to see my patterns, beliefs, and
behaviors that were not aligned to were I
wanted to be.
So what happens is that we want to grow , so
we reach a new level, then things start to
get better , we are progressing, but our shadow
(our pains and things we deny or not address)
makes us feel uneasy of that new level, we
feel unsafe, in danger, we start thinking
to ourselves "I'm too happy, it can't be"
"this is too calm" "I need some drama" "I
need some chaos" again right?because leaving
what we have always known and familiar does
that, so we recreate problems and situations
of course unaware to bring ourselves back
to where we were.
Sometimes we know what our shadow is, we know
there is something we are doing or we are
tolerating from others that is hurting us
but we can't stop it, right? when we have
thoughts of "i know this is not right, but
i just cant' stop it" So I challenge you to
face your pain, sit with it, listen to it,
find clues in your emotinal pain, because
otherwise it is just going to keep showing
up over and over again until you do.
There is no shortcut.
A lot of people end up facing their shadow
until they have hit rock bottom until again
they are repeating the story of the past again.
So when things start going terribly wrong
again, ask yourself , maybe this is a good
thing that it is pointing me to stop doing
this!
maybe this is the time to stop doing what
is hurting me, this is pointing me to a new
direction, this is forcing me to make a change,
and this is telling me it is about time to
make that change.
Remember it is never too late to change the
story of our lives!
