(dreamy music)
(emotional music)
- I knew that there was something
different from what other
people were seeing I was.
So often times, folks were, like,
telling me what sexuality I should be.
So I was living through their truth.
For example, Mom was like
"Yeah, you're gonna find
"a good girl, you're gonna get
married!" and all this stuff.
I'm like okay, yeah, that
doesn't resonate with me.
- So did you initially
come out as gay first?!
- I would say yes, and only because
that's what folks were telling me.
'Cause I was very feminine, you know,
I carried myself that folks were like
"Oh, you're definitely gay."
I'm like "Oh, okay."
But I knew I was attracted to guys.
I'm like well, then maybe that's it.
If folks were saying
this is how you identify,
and this is who you are, and I'm attracted
to a specific gender, then yeah.
And at the time, I dated girls
just to be like oh, I'm gonna date girls
so everyone can get off my back.
But (laughing) that wasn't my truth.
That was trying to please other folks.
It wasn't literally until college
where I was able to, like,
just peel off the mask
of trying to pretend to be other folks
and make other folks happy.
- And how was it coming out to your family
and friends as gay initially?
(whistle)
- At 17, I will never forget this day,
I was literally at the computer.
And I was watching the
ballroom scene videos.
So I was watching it.
I'm like, okay, you know what?
I'm gonna do it.
(dreamy inspirational music)
I'm gonna tell my mom.
When I come out, this
is my comin' out story.
So I'm like "Mom, there's
somethin' different.
"I'm gay.
"This is the hardest
thing I have to tell you."
So she was like. (humming)
And she just sat, and she just stared.
And just that.
She's like "Okay, that's it!
"Alright, let's go with this!"
So I was like (humming)
"You're okay with it?"
She was like "Well, I would
prefer you to be straight.
"But you only have one life to live,
"so you have to live it your way."
Like, literally, that's what she said.
And I was like "Oh, okay."
So she was like, how do you
say, the grounding rock, for me.
So my goal was always to make her happy,
and make her pleased, and make
sure that she's proud of me.
And then college came,
right, and then that's when
I was like well, no, gay
wasn't the right term.
My school wasn't talking,
the Brooklyn School
weren't talking about gender identity,
and sexual education,
and sexual orientation.
All these things, it was
literally through college.
There was a student who I saw her.
I was like yes, yes!
I didn't know anything about her,
but there was something about
me that was connected to her.
And I started talking with her,
and then I found out she was trans.
And then I was like
yes, that's how I feel!
That resonates with me!
So then I started going to the doctor
and then figuring out the
next steps into my journey.
- So you got into fashion.
- Yes!
- And were you able to
use fashion as a tool
to build self-confidence
being a trans woman of color.
- Right, so I think fashion, for me,
just helped me to like,
get into this world
where you get to understand art
in a way that allows you to express.
But through art and expression,
I was able to actually find identity.
But when I'm graduating
and actually entering
the fashion world, it was a wake-up call
for me, I will say that,
in being totally honest and authentic.
And I have to name it,
it's very important.
Like, the fashion world glorifies
a certain type of person, right.
And still, it wasn't
reflective of me, right,
a black, trans, Caribbean girl.
So trying to navigate that was difficult.
So eventually I was like
I need to do something
that's going to impact me and the world
and really have intentional conversations
about not just diversity,
but really inclusion
on what it looks like to actually see it.
So my goal has been the interruptions
within nonprofit organization and how we
have conversation with trans,
how I uplift my trans sisters,
my trans patients, to understand
you don't get to just give up.
But you get to tell
folks "This is who I am,
"and we're gonna work
through this together.
"I want you to learn about me."
And it's not always my job
to teach folks about who I am, right.
We have Google.
It's year 2017.
(laughing)
- You do so much amazing
work, right, and it's really
building conversations
that lead to change.
(humming)
Could you sort of talk about what the role
or purpose of an ally or an accomplice is?
- Okay, so ally for me is
that person who understands
the privilege that they may have
in spaces to actually step in.
And for example, so if we're walking
and someone is making
slurs or transphobic slurs,
it's for someone to step in and say wait,
how can I support this
person, how can I remove.
It's not being silent when
these things are happening.
It's almost like, so how you would treat
your family or your best friend.
You don't want anything bad
to happen to this person.
You want this person to be able
to be in a space where they can exist.
So allyship for me is actually saying
"You know what, I see
you, and what do you need
"that I can support you with?"
And that's like showing up.
That's how to be siblings, right.
Not just allies, but
these are your siblings,
and there are policy and laws
that does not support your sibling.
So how can you be an
ally and actually support
getting policies that
uplift and are intentional
to creating spaces where
trans folks can actually be.
- My final question for you is
what advice would you give
to younger generations
of trans and gender non-conforming youth?
- So if there's one thing I would say,
it's that you matter.
Continue to strive.
Continue to say yes to yourself,
(airy inspirational music)
and allow yourself to be.
Even when the world says
no, allow yourself to be.
- Well, thank you so much!
- Thank you for having me.
- It's been a pleasure having you here.
That is all the time that
we have for this episode.
But if you have any questions for us,
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So thank you, that's it!
Goodbye!
