Chip: ugh, i have a headache
Coworker 1: you think that’s bad?
i have a headache AND a stomach ache
Coworker 2: oh man.
well i have a headache, stomach ache,
and my right hand is broken,
so i have to do all of my work with my non-dominant
hand!
(from across the room) you think that’s
bad?
Coworker 3: BOTH of my hands are broken,
so i have to do all of my work with my feet!
Janitor: [muffled] man i wish i was you right
now!
J: i don’t have any limbs
so i have to do all my work with my mouth!
and i’m a janitor!
Mouthless cat: [muffled] oh no!
[muffled] well at least you have a MOUTH
Cat in car: oh i WISH i didn’t have a mouth
i was born with a rare tongue disease
which makes everything i eat taste
like sweaty beans!
Sewer cat: dang
i’d take tasting sweaty beans every time
i eat something any day
over my extremely rare skin disease
which makes me dehydrated in regular air
so the only place i can live is inside the
sewers!
Alligator: well at
least you can actually poke ‘yer head out
& talk to people every once in a while..
i’m an alligator
everyone hates me!
also
i don’t know how to spell..
Fish: at least you have big teeth and claws
and stuff!
what can a fish do?
swim around?
what a fulfilling existence!
Fish: oh great.
now i’m stuck.
yet another reason why my life sucks way more
than anyone else's!
Wall cat: oh boy i WISH i was in your position
right now.
i can talk to fish
and as soon as everyone found out
instead of using me to seek peace and acceptance
between cats and fish
they thought i was a witch!
so they buried me alive!!
Ghost: alive??
ALIVE???
you’re seriously complaining about being
alive right now?
imagine NOT being alive!
imagine that!
that’s what i have to deal with!
every single one of your problems is COMPLETELY
inconsequential compared to mine
because you’re all alive and I’m.
a heccin.
GHOST.
hello??
i’m suffering over here
i deserve attention
stop worrying about your problems and pay
attention to mine!
helloooo
hello..
alright, screw this.
i’m goin to hell*pop*
