Good morning, Hank. It's Tuesday.
Why is this fellow, given to me by a Nerdfighter in Germany, doing his happy dance?
Because Amazon.com just named The Fault In Our Stars one of the ten best books of 2012.
I don't mean books for teenagers, I mean overall books, like I'm right behind
Dave Eggers and inexplicably ahead of Junot Diaz.
Hank, as an novelist, I really believe in the power of the precisely-chosen word.
So all I can say about this news is SMURGAPURG.
In other news, hold on, I have to change shirts, I'm feeling anxious without my collar.
That's better! So, Hank, over the last few days, the Yeti and I have been on an organizational BINGE.
And this has allowed me to come across all kinds of things I haven't seen in years,
like this Venn diagram from Brotherhood 2.0. And also much of my early work, like The Best New Years
Resolution Ever Happy New Year Streamers. I found misprinted EcoGeek business cards
from back in January of 2007, and I also found books that other people have written.
Like, Q and the Three Tubs of Vaseline, which really does not make sense unless you've read Paper Towns.
And Debby Kitto's Pants Power and his Power Pants.
I found old high school literary journals, featuring a story by me in which the main character dies,
a story by me in which the grandfather dies, and a story by me in which the main character dies.
And I found a Book About Me And My Fun Times. Here is a picture of me travelling in a space ship.
It's also a picture of a man with no torso who has been imprisoned in a triangle.
I also found lots and lots of report cards. 'Incredible potential as an English student, but he has
reached a juncture where he just can't mail it in anymore.' 'It is safe to say that John underachieved this year.
If he takes French 3 next year, he will need to take much greater care in his daily preparations.'
'John went into a tailspin in this course during the last 6 weeks.'
'While John has a wonderful capacity to convey empathy for people in the past, her analyzing of historical
writings has room for improvement.' Well, I think your pronoun use has room for improvement.
This is essentially what my report cards look like all the way back to, like, elementary school.
Then I came across this one from third grade, and I was really excited because I got all A's,
yeah, it's Hank Green's report card! Dangit!
But that's not nearly as embarrassing as my book of peaceful and amusing poems.
I don't know when I wrote this, Hank, but, ah, here is my biographical poem.
I'm gonna say that I was, like, eight, in my defence. So this is called Bio-Poem.
'John. Nice. Peaceful. Visionary. Joyous. Lover of peace, hope, and Jennifer.'
It must've been, ah, fourth grade, because that's when I dated Jennifer Keane. So. I guess I was older. That's. Boy.
I was ten! Oh, God. 'Who believed that world peace could someday be?
Who wanted good grades, high moral standards, and world peace.' -in case I have not already mentioned that-
'Who used his money, his love, and his writing, who gave his money, his love, and everything he had,
who said, "visualize world peace, it could happen." Green.'
I don't know why the first line of the poem is my first name and the last line of the poem is my last name,
but I'm worried that it's because I wanted the middle of the poem to be my nickname,
you know, like Sunny "Night Train" Liston, or Ricardo "The Bunsen" Berna?
I think I might've wanted to be known as John "Nice-Peaceful-Visionary-Joyous-Lover-Of-Peace-Hope-And
Jennifer-Who-Believed-That-World-Peace-Could-Someday-Be-Who-Wanted-High-Moral-Standards-
And-World-Peace-Who-Used-His-Money-His-Love-And-His-Writing-Who-Gave-His-Money-His-Love-And-Everything-He-Had
Who-Said-Visualize-World-Peace-It-Could-Happen" Green.
So, Hank, the reason the Yeti and I have been going through this stuff is that I'm donating
all the drafts of my books, along with correspondence with my editor, Julie Strauss-Gabel
to the de Grummond children's library at the University of Southern Mississippi
which means that all the manuscripts will be archived there forever, which is awesome,
partly because it means I will be sharing a room with the manuscripts from, like, A Wrinkle in Time, Peter Rabbit...
They have, like, thousands of famous manuscripts, but I am greatly honored that the de Grummond Collection
is including my work in their library. I'm so psyched!
Hank, DFTBA, Nerdfighters I will see you on Fri- I did that wrong, it's Nerdfighers, DFTBA... everybody, DFTBA,
and then, Hank, I will only see you on Friday. Nerdfighters, I will see you in comments.
