♪ Look at this photograph ♪
♪ Before the worlds all went to crap ♪
♪ We used to travel away from here ♪
♪ And now we canceled the entire year ♪
♪ Remember a rock concert ♪
♪ Complaining that your tiny seat hurt ♪
♪ Now I'd kill to have that back. ♪
♪ I'd let a stranger sit in my lap ♪
♪ Look at this selfie ♪
♪ This was 2019 (indistinct) ♪
♪ 'Cause now when you
take a picture with me ♪
♪ It looks like you're in a surgery ♪
♪ I used to hate exercise ♪
♪ Now it's my only alone time ♪
♪ I wonder how long it's gonna be ♪
♪ Before we all go crazy ♪
♪ Yeah yeah ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
♪ Every memory I have of going downtown ♪
♪ And I'm having to just
stay here in my house ♪
♪ To all the places, all the faces ♪
♪ Goodbye, goodbye ♪
♪ I'm going out now to the DMV ♪
♪ It seems like an absolute thrill to me ♪
♪ I miss the traffic in my attic ♪
♪ Goodbye, goodbye ♪
Yeah.
♪ Never used to have to garden ♪
♪ Now I'm checking on my soil carbon ♪
♪ Never used to bake bread ♪
♪ Now I just got a sourdough started ♪
♪ This is me in 2020. ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ This is me 2020 I don't know who I am ♪
♪ This is me 2020, now
I'm canning some jam ♪
♪ Not like me to be crafty ♪
♪ But there's no sports to distract me ♪
♪ The kitchen you'll find me ♪
♪ Making bread out of zucchini ♪
♪ It's been rough ♪
♪ It's painful ♪
♪ And this fall is looking awful ♪
♪ These five words in my head ♪
♪ Scream are we having fun yet ♪
♪ No ♪
♪ No ♪
♪ Not really ♪
Ah!
Alright, here we go.
♪ I started 2020 with a vision board ♪
♪ Get out of the house and travel more ♪
♪ This year hasn't turned out
quite the way I want it to be ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, since we've all
been stuck in a quarantine ♪
♪ I've been doing some
Instagram scrolling ♪
♪ And celebrities, they
don't look too bored to me ♪
No, 'cause they got
♪ A bunch of home theaters
and some open bars ♪
♪ Sitting in hot tubs and smoking cigars ♪
♪ And an Olympic-sized swimming
pool just to beat the heat ♪
Woo!
♪ I kinda wish I had famous friends ♪
♪ And I could hang with
them until this thing ends ♪
♪ But instead I'm in this
room with really bad AC ♪
Ah!
♪ It must be nice to
have fortune and fame ♪
♪ I wish Kardashian was my last name ♪
♪ 'Cause we all wanna
quarantine like rock stars ♪
♪ Live in hilltop houses
with the coolest cars ♪
♪ Have a bowling alley
and a basketball court ♪
♪ Like an extended stay
at a five-star resort ♪
♪ Did you see that
soccer star's new shot. ♪
♪ With his girlfriend sitting
on the back of a yacht ♪
♪ I know he works hard
and earned what he's got ♪
♪ But I'm super jealous
'cause I kinda want a yacht ♪
♪ Hey, hey I wanna be a rock star ♪
But I am just happy being
here with you, honey.
I am.
- I'm hearing these
- I'm happy being here with you.
- I'm hearing these
songs for the first time.
- Yeah, you have some corrections?
Some notes?
- No, you should be happy where you are.
We have a house.
- I meant this is kind of
- I'm not a supermodel, I know.
- You are.
- I didn't wash my hair
today, it's still drying.
- I'm happy to be here with you.
I mean, some of those
houses are really nice.
- I mean, we do not have an infinity pool,
but we feel very lucky.
- Yeah.
- Good job on Nickleback.
- Are you excited about
the big announcement?
- Do I have an announcement?
- Yeah, that's why we did this song.
- Yes.
(laugh)
- Yes!
- Thanks, I'm gonna go check my hernia.
(upbeat music)
