♪♪
-I literally just had to block
Tristan because --
-What happened?
-I'm really so
just sick and tired
of being
the bigger person.
I just sincerely don't want him
at True's party.
And that's not wrong of me,
right?
-Just don't even communicate
until then.
If he shows up,
he shows up.
Don't talk to him.
Ignore him.
Don't let him
kill your vibe.
-I want to
uninvite him.
-Should we tell Tristan
that he just shouldn't come?
-No. No.
It's her dad.
You guys can't.
-I just think, honestly,
it's gonna be such a spectacle.
I think everyone's
gonna be looking at you.
You've invited
so many people.
This is a party that
you've planned, you've put on.
-Kim, this is honestly --
This is why I didn't want
to [bleep] tell you,
because I know.
I know all of these things.
But I've already invited him.
I'm not, like...
-But, I just --
-And I know. I know.
I know everything.
-I would feel like
a bad person --
-I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know.
-So, today I woke up,
and my hands are a bit swollen.
-Maybe it's, like, the anxiety,
and you're fine.
-The fourth one is coming,
and then, I'm just like,
"Someone help me."
I just am, like,
freaking out.
I have a baby on the way.
I have law school.
It just really can scare you
when you start really thinking
about how much this is gonna
really change my life.
So, I don't know, like,
what that means.
-Aw!
-It's fine.
-So, you don't know.
Like, that's --
that's the scariest part,
is we just don't know.
-I'll know on Friday.
-He texted, and he was like,
"I'm here," and like,
I brought True to the door
to answer,
'cause she was so excited.
It was so --
really cute.
She was really excited.
Like, jumping in my arms,
like, when she saw him.
It was really cute.
-Oh, my God.
-And then, literally, he was
just kind of, like, lingering.
And I was like, "So, are you
gonna put her to sleep tonight?"
Like...
-And he stayed
to put her to bed?
-Yes. But with intention
to see me.
'Cause then he was like,
"So, do you want to,
like, grab a glass
of wine?"
I'm like, "It must say 'dumb
[bleep] whore' on my forehead."
-Totally.
-And he was like,
"No, it doesn't."
And then, he was like,
"Can I have a hug?"
And I, like,
one-arm hugged him.
And he was like,
"One? A one-handed hug?"
I was like, "Yeah!"
-He's lucky.
-I was like,
"That's nice enough."
And then, he tried to, like,
kiss me, and I go, "You..."
I go,
"This is the problem with you.
You can't just, like,
take what you get."
Whatever.
And then, this morning,
he was like,
"Thank you for
letting me see True.
She looked great.
You looked even better."
-What's happening?
-I just asked him
what was going on.
-He didn't like
that we put "Runaway"
to you guys' narrative.
-But that's fine.
It is what it is.
But I don't need,
at my daughter's birthday,
for any of this
to be a discussion.
-Khlo, what happened?
-Nothing.
Just, this whole thing sucks.
♪♪
Whew!
-Hi, doll.
What are you doing?
-Oh, just taking shots
over here.
-Shots? For what?
-My throat.
It is the nastiest thing.
-Wait. So, I was leaving
the Mercer Hotel,
and then I get a call
on my cellphone from Tristan.
And he was like, "Oh, my God,
I'm right next door!"
-Oh, my...
-And he was like,
"Oh, I'm there," and he's like,
"What are you doing?"
And I was like, "I'm gonna go
have dinner with my friend."
So, I was like,
"Do you want to come?"
-You invited him
to dinner?
-Kind of. But I was just like,
"Oh, my God, what did I do?"
So, I think --
I don't know.
Should I not invite him
to dinner?
-I think you've got to do
what's best for you.
If you want him to
have a drink at the end,
there's nothing wrong
with that.
That's beyond generous
of you.
-I don't think what Tristan
did was, obviously, right.
Like, I obviously, like,
can't -- that's not my thing.
And I brutalized him.
But I also know that
that's True's dad,
and that, like,
Mom cheated on Dad.
You know what I mean?
And all of their friends,
like, forgave Mom.
-Right.
No, I think what you're doing
is a nice thing.
I think it's beyond generous
of you that you invited him.
-I think forgiveness is,
like, the best way.
-Oh, my God.
-Okay, I'm gonna run inside
'cause I have to go shopping.
But love you.
-Love you.
This was, like,
a drive-by gossip session.
Oh, my God.
-"Keeping Up with
the Kardashians,"
new season
coming soon,
only on E!
♪♪
-Tristan never should've had
a conversation like this
at our daughter's
first birthday party.
Just shows the lack of respect,
again, he has for me, my family,
or anything
that I'm trying to throw.
-So, maybe it's like --
is it a lesson to,
like,
keep everything separate?
Or you still
want it together?
-No. I --
I don't know what I want.
I mean, definitely, I think,
for a little bit, separate.
-It's like there was
a massive earthquake,
and you still haven't stopped
having aftershocks.
-Learning how to coexist
and co-parent with someone,
that is really,
really difficult.
-You did what you said
you were going to do,
which was always
keep her father involved.
As far as letting him come
to her birthday party,
you did that.
-Let me have you
roll your sleeves up.
Okay.
-So, today, I'm getting
an ultrasound
on all of my joints
to see what's going on.
I hadn't really felt that kind
of pain, physically, ever.
-You do not -- do not have lupus
and rheumatoid arthritis, okay?
So, you can reassure
all your buddies.
I'm gonna give this to you...
-Great.
-...as a party favor.
-Well, if you don't care
about you and I,
why do you keep on picking out
all the same clothes?
-Yeah, I don't know
what you're talking about.
I've never
dressed like you.
-Oh, is there a fight here?
-No, but Danielle was like,
When you're public" --
I don't care
if Danielle's there.
Hi, Danielle.
I dress completely different
than Kim.
I'm not trying to copy your
looks, but on a same designer --
You can't ban me from Rick Owens
when I wear men's Rick Owens.
-Well, no,
they said, "Sorry.
Kourtney's stylist
pulled everything."
-So ask me.
Say, "Hey, are you wearing
this white Rick Owens dress?
I wanted it."
She might pull things, and then
when it comes here,
I say,
"No, no, no, no, no.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes."
Kim and I just got into
the biggest fight.
She just was going
so crazy.
She's sending me
the meanest text messages.
You would die.
-So, I called Kourtney,
and Kourtney's like --
screamed at me on the phone.
-Screamed at you?
-And was like,
"You think I like your style?
You have
the lamest style."
-I said,
"You're going to school
to become a lawyer
and help the world,
and these are the kinds
of problems you have?"
-It's not about you having
your own personal style.
It's about infiltrating
on my actual relationship.
-I really don't
take it personally.
Like, I know it's not
something that I'm doing.
It's just hurtful.
-Kim, you look amazing.
-Can we go dance?
-I'm so happy you're here!
-Yeah.
-Hi. Happy birthday.
-Thank you. Love you.
I was having
a freak-out.
Did you have a freak-out
about turning 40, or no?
-I freak out every day.
I try not to --
-Like, I was literally...
-Having a breakdown?
-...like, for weeks,
crying daily, all day.
-Yeah, it's a nightmare.
But you have three kids.
I don't.
-Honestly, I woke up today
feeling amazing.
-Well, you look really good.
You got it out.
Today was your day.
It's like the next --
it's like the christening of it.
♪♪
♪♪
-Petty!
-Yodel!
-Everlasting!
-Ohh!
-People are getting serious.
-No.
-Trisha!
-This is not my thing.
-Abernathy!
-Yikes!
-Hey, guys.
-Hi!
-Come on in.
Welcome to improv class.
-So, let me just start
by saying this.
-Uh-oh.
-I'm very shy.
This is --
We're here for Scott.
-Just hang.
We're gonna just do some silly,
dumb warm-ups.
We make it up
on the spot.
-You never know what
you're gonna get.
-Oh, really? I didn't know that.
-Yeah. Yeah.
So, um, are you being
sarcastic or...?
-No, I really
never thought about it.
-You know, if you're
public speaking or whatever,
doing improv will help you
be prepared for that.
So, this kind of
just warms you up.
-The warm-ups,
they're silly.
So, wah!
-Wah!
-Wah!
-Wah!
-Wah!
-Wah!
-Wah!
-Wah!
-Wah!
-Wah!
-Wah!
-We lost Kim.
-It was a warm-up!
-Maybe I'll warm up,
and come back in.
-Okay, you might come back.
[ Cheering ]
-Do you want to do
expert panel?
-Yes!
-Okay. Great.
-Okay, so, let's get Scott
up to do one.
-We're gonna
give you something
that you're supposedly
major experts on.
We're gonna try
and pick things
that you don't know
anything about.
Just make it up, and be
as specific as you can.
-Confident.
-Yeah.
The invention of
the first shoe.
-Oh!
-You got this.
-Yeah?
-Good.
-I believe in you!
-Scott, just make it up.
Trust yourself.
-I'm here today with my husband,
Bill Todd.
I'm Sandr--
-Thank you, everybody.
Appreciate you
having us here.
And it's funny, I notice
all of you are wearing
exactly what I invented
a very,
very, very, very,
very long time ago.
-Oh, God,
he's so manly in his shed.
-And it was difficult.
Very manly,
as you can notice.
My hands still
didn't get hurt
because you were nice enough
to lick the wounds every night.
-I was.
-Like a business,
I grew the shoe
into a sneaker.
-Oh!
-I mean, it's amazing.
And when I tried
the first wooden shoe on,
I was a little splintery.
-Well, that's when you said
you were dying for my wood.
-Yes.
-Ohh!
-But I said we've got
to move further.
-But we did have fun,
didn't we?
[ Cheering ]
-Come on!
-That was great.
-That was, like, dripping out
of you like water from a faucet.
-Aw.
-Amazing, and very sexual.
-And sexual.
-You were awesome.
-"Keeping Up with
the Kardashians,"
new season
coming soon,
only on E!
♪♪
-So, I feel like...
do you ever
have a problem
getting into Kim's house,
with her new security?
-Well, I normally go through
the front door,
like a normal person.
-Khloé, every time
I go over there,
they still don't know
who I am.
-They know who you are.
They're just --
-I'm the mom.
-They're following protocol.
-She has, like,
a Navy SEAL team over there.
-You know, there's been all
those robberies in Hidden Hills,
so, now, we have three
main house security guys a day.
-I just feel like the security
should know me, you know?
-Yeah.
Hello?
-Oh, my God, Kim.
-What?
-You've got to come.
Your whole security
just [bleep] tackled Mom.
-Wait. What?
I have to look at
the surveillance right now.
-Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, no!
That's our mom!
That's our mom!
That's our mom!
Oh, my God!
-Why on Earth would someone
tackle my [bleep] mother?
-Mom!
-What?
-Say it!
-What?
-Tell them!
-Got you!
-Is this a normal person?
-You're going in the pool!
-No!
So, the purpose of my prank
was to say we love
that you have
this security,
but we would just love
to have some clearance,
so we can come in and out
of your house.
-You can have all
the clearance you want.
-Oh, my!
You just don't waste any time.
-You guys come right in.
-Wow.
-We brought you
a little Chardonnay.
-Look at you.
You sure did.
-Do you have a wheelchair
to get me out of here?
-We have wheelchairs,
whatever you need.
-Don't worry, Mom,
I'll find one.
I just got
to pour it.
-You can't drink
and drive, lady.
-I'm trying to wait
for your sister.
-Oh, my God,
two leopards!
-Ohh!
-I just want, like,
you to be happy.
-I feel like this whole
situation needed to happen
for a reason, for me, for her,
for you, for everybody.
She was my security blanket.
She lived with me.
We did everything together.
And I feel like
there's a part of me
that needed to grow
without her.
Sometimes, people are there
for certain reasons
at certain times in your life,
and then not there for others.
I feel like we're just all
so lucky to have each other,
because I feel like
a lot of the reason
why I am the way I am
is because of you guys.
-Everything's supposed to
happen for a reason,
and I feel like this is,
like, the season to filter
through the bull[bleep].
-Mm-hmm.
-And, you know,
only the strong and loyal
will survive.
-You would whup Penelope's ass
if she scratched you?
-I would give her a spanking,
for sure!
-My daughter?
-[Bleep] yeah!
-What are you talking about?
-Scratched me in my face?
-You would whup my daughter's
ass if she touched you?
-No, scratched me.
-Well, if she scratched.
-A little
6-year-old girl?
-You said, "I would whup her ass
if she scratched me."
-That's how anybody talks about,
just when a kid --
whup their ass!
-What the [bleep]?
-We're never
gonna agree.
No, but then,
you were yelling at me.
We have it on camera.
You were then yelling at me.
If anybody wants to have
a relationship with me,
they need to know
how to communicate.
-I get your point.
♪♪
♪♪
-It's so cozy in here.
-Oh, my gosh.
-This is really nice.
-Thank you.
I took down those star lanterns.
-Oh, yes. That was...
It just looks
so much more open.
When did you do this?
-Mom has been telling me
every single time she comes here
that it's, like, offending her,
and this whole thing.
-The star lamps?
-The star lamps.
-What are --
What are those things there?
Are they lights?
-So, then, one day out,
like at 7:00 a.m.,
she e-mails me --
"This is an emergency."
I go, "Oh, my God."
She goes, "Take down
the star lanterns now.
It's obstructing
your view."
And I go, "Oh, my God,
an emergency!"
And that day,
they got taken down.
I think it was last week.
And she's right,
but like...
-That really obstructed
your view.
I didn't realize.
-I didn't realize, either.
-Wow.
-And I have to find a new light
fixture for my front entry.
She hates
the star lights.
But it just takes me a minute
to find something I love.
-Yeah, don't rush
into that.
-I'm not a rusher
with my lighting.
How was the game?
-It was good.
-You guys looked so cute,
and you looked like
you had fun,
so that was good.
-I just hated the reports
that were like,
"Kim was booing Tristan."
-That's just crazy.
-Standing up.
I was literally up, going,
"Go, Tristan!
Whoo!
Go, Tristan, go!"
-Which is so...
-Like, embarrassing myself with,
like, LeBron right there --
like, all the Lakers...
-Which is so just not your vibe,
to cheer anyway.
But no, it's crazy
that this world is that sick
that they would think
you would go --
you and your husband
would go to a game deliberately
with the intent
of booing True's dad.
They would much rather
believe some nasty,
exaggerated bull[bleep]
than just the truth.
Yeah, we're family.
We're supporting him.
Great.
It's exciting.
-So bizarre.
♪♪
-Scott, do you want to
talk about Finland?
-Yeah.
-What's going on with Finland?
-You're going?
-No.
-Oh.
What is there in Finland?
Do you ski?
-Santa Claus lives there.
-I was first gonna go to Finland
as a girls' trip,
and then, it just seemed
like a lot of the activities
are things that my kids
would love.
-So, are you definitely
inviting Sofia?
-Yeah.
I never want to miss out
on anything
when it includes
the kids.
Let's go.
-Wait, could someone close mine?
-You just need
to go like this.
-Aah!
This can't be right.
-Just sit, and lean back.
-Aah!
-Kourtney, where are you?
-I think you're fine.
I'm right here.
-So, JoJo Siwa
FaceTimed North,
you know, just to,
like, meet her.
And then, she said,
"Would North ever want to be
on my YouTube channel?"
So, it was like,
does she do it,
does she,
you know...?
-Right.
-But North was like, "Mom,
I'm gonna get a real video
on YouTube," you know?
I go, "But you're gonna be
so shy when you get there."
I go, "Imagine if the cameras
are here."
So, that's why it's just
a little confusing.
Like, I don't want her to ever
feel like it's a work thing,
and she has to do it.
-I don't think Kylie ever really
looked at her job as work
when she was that young.
And I just kept
socking her money away
every time
she did something.
And one day, she said she wanted
to start a lip-kit business,
and I said, "You've got to use
all your own money.
If you believe in this,
this is yours to build."
-Yeah.
-And so, I think you can create
some boundaries,
and let her have fun.
-You guys
will be wasted.
-I am all for having
a good time,
but I am not
in the headspace
to get [bleep]-faced
with this girl.
Like, Malika was with me
the last time I got drunk.
It wasn't a pretty sight.
-Happy birthday, Malika!
[ Cheering ]
-Can you hang out with me?
-I am.
I'm hanging my stuff up, so
I don't have to worry about it.
-I don't want to have a good
time, and you're not with me.
-I'm having a great time.
I'm having more of an annoying
time because you're annoying me.
-But I'll stop annoying you
if you just give me what I want.
-Ew.
You left one of
these earrings in?
-What?
-You left one of these earrings
in, on the top.
-What?
-Pow!
-Babe.
-Holla! Ow!
-You're a lot more sophisticated
with me when Kourtney's around.
You turn into a 5-year-old
when it's just us.
-I think, like, you put so much
pressure on things to,
like, make it perfect.
I do that, too.
But I've been not really doing
that as much anymore.
And you just think, like,
"Oh, it's one more experience
we have that
we didn't have before."
-Now that I know people
are having a good time,
I realize that I can spend
some time with Sofia alone,
and not feel bad.
-Key, Kendall.
Is it delicious?
-It's yummy.
-Is it delicious?
-Snacks, snacks.
Ooh, these are
a little stale.
-Um, so, why am I here
without makeup on?
-First of all, look how cute
my PR thing is with Olivier.
-So cute!
-Right?
So, we did the colors and stuff
off of his last collection.
So, I need to create a look
for the models.
Oh!
No, don't even worry about it.
I need to create a look
for the models.
So, since you're a model,
I need you here
to try to create a look.
-Ooh, "Close the Show."
-He wanted pastels
and fun colors.
Maybe, like, the green
and the pink, or something.
-Sure.
I love just having a day off
with no makeup,
so I must really
love you
for letting you do my makeup
for no reason.
-Of course!
-Well, I guess there's
a little bit of a reason.
-Thank you, baby.
Remember when I used
to do your makeup,
like, in high school?
-No, you did not.
You're such a liar.
-Kendall, you would ask me
to do your makeup sometimes.
-Would I?
More so, like, when I started
getting bad skin,
I would do my makeup
in the morning,
and we'd get to school,
and every day --
do you remember,
in the carpool line?
Like, when we got out,
I'd be like, "Is my skin okay?"
-Mm-hmm.
And you'd make me check it.
-You definitely lied to me.
-But what are you supposed
to do, say,
"It looks like [bleep]"?
-No, I know. No, no.
I'm glad you did
lie to me.
Is that powder or highlighter?
-Powder.
-You know I never
wear powder.
-I'm so happy to be your first.
-I just like to be dewy.
I'm letting you do your thing,
though, obviously,
but I love dewy.
-Okay.
More powder!
You know what's really fun?
Oh, hi!
-Wow.
Gorgeous.
I'm gonna take it off.
-You don't like it.
I'm not your average
makeup artist.
-You really are
something else.
I feel like this may have
started with you
wanting to
figure out Balmain,
but then, it just turned into
you wanting to do my makeup.
-I know.
I'm in your mouth
with my nails.
So sorry.
Yes, bitch.
Killed it!
Thank you so much, Kenny...
-Yep.
-...for being here.
For being cute.
For not really needing makeup,
but accepting it anyway.
-No.
No, no, no, no, no.
-Come on, let me just put
a little more highlighter.
-No.
-Just a little
highlight, please.
-I'm not going anywhere.
-Just before you go.
I just want you to be,
like, real shiny.
-Should we just
leave it,
and go to dinner,
and play tricks on people?
-Yes!
-Be like, "I'm Kylie."
-Kendall, you don't
look like me.
-You're Kendall.
-But you look [bleep]
good, bitch.
♪♪
-No one's gonna believe
that this --
We need this on camera, to
explain that this is my waist.
This is insane.
-It's insane.
-The theme of this year's
Met Ball is "camp,"
which is just theatrical,
overly dramatized.
I had a corset fully made
by Mr. Pearl,
the legendary
corset maker,
because I wanted to completely
accentuate my body
to make it
as campy as possible.
I can feel it's just,
like, stuck to my leg.
You could fit
your hand in there.
-Danielle has smaller hands,
so she can do it.
-And lift up my butt cheek.
Yeah, like, lift it.
Yeah.
-And I know we already see
this side, but it's fine.
-This lady stole $700
out of my wallet.
Then, she stole $4,500
out of Scott's.
Then, my security who's here
today just said he's seen her
two times with her flashlight
on in the office.
-Stand your ground.
This is your home
with your kids.
-I don't feel like...
-Let's go downstairs, Kourtney.
Go talk to
your security.
Why are you texting
if someone's telling you that?
Wait, I can't wait
to hear this.
This is better than
"Real Housewives."
I want to go [bleep]
her the [bleep] up.
-Oh, my God.
We need to debug the house,
and I want to take every device,
and unconnect it
from my phone.
And next time,
we have learned a huge lesson.
They cannot set foot in here
for an interview
without us having their social,
name, and address.
-I am gonna go and be in
this music video with Paris
for one of her new songs.
-No way.
-Yeah.
-She asked you?
-Yeah.
-That's so sweet.
-Well, I said,
"As long as I don't dance."
-You look so amazing.
-I'm so excited
to have you in it
because you're, like,
the ultimate...
It's all, like, orange.
-Do you know that I, like,
never even knew
what a spray tan was
until I met you?
-Ready to kill it?
-Yeah.
That's hot.
-Let's roll camera, please.
♪♪
-This music video
is like a club.
It's so fun.
Every town we'd go in,
Paris and I used to find
the best club,
and we'd be there
all night long.
So this is just like
one of those nights.
I don't know why
I get so nervous
for the Met, maybe even more so.
-Really?
-Just 'cause there's pictures
from every single angle.
-Yep.
It's Versace, and it's camp.
You look hot.
-Beautiful.
-I like it higher,
like that.
-Is it better with this arm
down always?
-Yeah.
-But you guys, I have to pee.
What do I do?
-Also, standing next to Kendall,
I don't want to feel like,
"[Bleep] I
should've done black."
But I'm not gonna
feel like that.
-Okay, what time is it?
-[Bleep] It's 5:15?
-Oh, my gosh.
-Sleeves.
Sleeves, sleeves,
sleeves, sleeves?
-Sleeves? Or that?
-Sleeves!
-Sleeves. No question.
-Sleeves?
-Sleeves.
-No question.
-No question.
-Sleeves?
-Sleeves!
-Stop yelling at me!
-Year seven.
Cover girl.
We officially made it.
Every year that I go,
I still pinch myself
'cause I'm just like,
"I can't believe
I'm invited to this."
♪♪
♪♪
Anyone want to try?
This is what they first gave me,
and this wasn't
sweet enough for me.
-Here, you want this?
-It was apple cider.
-Kimberly,
this is so sweet.
-Is it Riesling or Moscato?
-Wow. She likes sweet,
sweet wine.
-This is --
Wait, try this.
-Oh, I love her.
I love your beret so much.
You look --
You're so beautiful!
You look so fabulous.
Aw, thank you!
You're so beautiful.
-Oh, you are!
-Cheers to you!
Cheers!
You guys got to start
complimenting people.
-Okay.
-It makes them feel so good.
-And it's true --
they're so cute.
-I compliment people
all day long.
-Only people you know.
You don't compliment strangers.
-No, I do.
-It's great.
I want you to go --
here, this is your dare.
I want you to go up to someone
at a table...
-Mm-hmm.
-Stand up, and I want you
to go give them a compliment.
-You look beautiful!
-Stop!
-Oh, right in the birthday week!
-She's a Scorpio, too.
-Hi!
-Ahh!
-My God!
-This is so cute.
-Aw!
-It's my dad.
-Hi!
You look stunning.
-Ah, geez.
-Yeah.
-Oh, geez.
-Wait, can I have one of these?
-She's taking a cigarette.
It's amazing.
-Yeah, Mom!
-Cheers!
-Damn good-looking family.
Almost as good-looking
as we are.
-Almost.
-Almost.
-Almost.
We're not there yet.
-I'm gonna leave
this with you,
'cause I'll get in trouble
by my family,
but that was the greatest puff
in the world.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, thank you.
-He's bad.
-Mm-hmm.
What else you gonna dare me
to do, Khloé?
Who's gonna be next?
-Mom, don't knock
any more wine over.
-Okay.
Just go share your wine.
The two of you
can do it together.
-Hi, everyone.
Do you guys want
some wine?
-Hi!
We wanted to offer you
some wine.
-You want some wine?
This is white. She has red.
-Do you guys want some?
-Oh, my gosh!
-Do you want white or red?
-Red or white?
-Anything!
-That's so cute.
"Anything you give me."
That is so funny.
-Do you want some red?
Oh, okay.
I shouldn't offer it
to you, then.
-I was gonna say,
you look so good for being 21.
-It's an instant party.
Oh, my God.
-Uh-oh.
-Good job, guys.
-Oh, we're pros at this.
-We're so friendly.
-Okay, it's Kim's turn next.
She's gonna have to go out solo.
-Oh, Kim would die.
-No.
The dare is that I'm coming on
a wine-tasting trip.
-Come on, Keeks.
-Khloé, watch your coat
with the drinks.
-No, watch yours.
Oh, [bleep].
Keep walking.
♪♪
-So, I'm trying to rush
to get to the hospital,
and I can't get ahold
of Kanye right now.
It's game time.
Like, it's gonna happen in,
like, within the hour,
and I need him to get to Cedars,
and he's not [bleep] answering.
It's like, who doesn't
answer the [bleep] phone?
-Let me find out.
I'll get to the bottom of it.
-Okay, bye.
He has to be here,
like, within the hour.
-Hi.
Are you at the hospital?
-Yeah.
-Oh, my gosh.
You didn't tell me.
It was such a surprise.
Hi!
-It happened early,
'cause she was
breech yesterday again.
-Oh!
So, what's happening?
-He's gonna break her water,
but we're kind of just
waiting for Kanye
to get here.
So, we have to do it
right now.
-Who's coming, Kourt?
-Steph.
-Okay.
-Melissa, Jesse, Virginia,
Veronica, Sarah.
-Okay.
-She's nothing but nice.
So, do you want to go?
-Yeah.
-Before Khloé comes, she's
really scared of girls' trips.
-Hi, everyone!
-Hello, Khloé!
-Hi!
Look at you, skinny.
-Mwah!
-Hi, guys!
-Khlo, are you gonna drink?
-Yeah.
-Wait, can I videotape that?
-Yeah. Go ahead.
See, Kourtney?
I told you we weren't
gonna miss a post.
I am gonna let loose,
have fun.
I'm gonna have
some tequila.
-[Bleep] yeah!
-We don't have to crowd.
You're sitting on
your sister's [bleep] lap.
She doesn't want you
in her lap.
-If you scooted your fat ass
over, I could sit
in the [bleep] middle, which is
what I keep telling you.
-We're good.
You're right.
-Are you sure this is
a sure thing?
-Oh, shut the [bleep] up.
-You guys, this is why Khloé
doesn't do good on girls' trips.
Ha-ha!
-I actually made this trip fun,
you dumbass bitch!
-So, you have no idea
what just happened.
-What?
-Kanye had a meeting here,
like, a breakfast
meeting earlier,
and he was planning
our anniversary with,
like, some new planner.
And I was just like,
"Oh, my God, wait.
I was planning something."
-Does he know that
you walked in on that?
-Yeah. And he was like,
"Oh, I want to introduce you
to this guy Bruno,
and I wanted...
You know, they do all of Axel's
events, and Axel introduced us."
And I was like, "Okay!"
-Oh, my God.
Did you tell him
that you were doing anything?
-No.
So, I at first was gonna keep it
a full surprise,
and then, I heard
he was trying to plan something.
And so, like, everyone was
kind of being really weird.
And I was like, "Well, guys, if
he's trying to plan something,
and I'm trying to
plan something,
someone has to say something,
and we'll just do it together."
We are not gonna show
the actual vows.
We wanted to keep them
really personal,
and it's really private
for us.
-There is someone hysterically
crying in the bathroom.
-Who?
-I felt so bad.
I'm like, "Are you okay?"
I don't know.
Someone's in the stall.
-In the stall?
-Because I guess
I'm a nicer person.
I don't know if I could --
-Well, you're acting
like a lunatic,
coming in here like a psycho.
-What happened?
-Nothing.
Larsa was being rude
to Sarah.
-Why'd you fight without me?
-Sarah came over.
She goes, "I feel so bad.
There's a girl in the bathroom.
I go, "How is that our problem?"
-No, she was talking to us,
and then, Larsa's like,
"We don't care,
blah, blah, blah."
-I just didn't want her
to kill your vibe.
-But I said she's not.
Just stop.
-I do think
that you two, like,
compete maybe for, like,
Kourt's attention.
I do think she gets,
like...
I don't know if "jealous"
is the right word.
Maybe that's too extreme.
But I do think there's
some sort of that energy.
-What is the
problem?!
I just didn't want to kill
Kourtney's vibe!
-I don't understand, like --
This is, like --
I'm sorry -- the stupidest thing
I've ever heard in my life.
-Ever!
♪♪
-I'm gonna go.
I'm just gonna go.
-Oh, you are? Okay.
-To the hair wrap stuff?
-[Bleep] It's stuck
to my skin.
-Who goes to church in latex?
-We do!
[Bleep]
Can someone hold my hair?
-I do have to pee.
Just letting you
know that.
-Oh, my God.
-I'm gonna hold it.
-You're gonna have to hold it
until, like, 2:00.
-Yeah.
-Whew!
-Okay.
[ Indistinct talking ]
-Aah!
My God.
I'll never wear a condom.
Like...
-Oh, [bleep].
-Did we rip it?
-No.
-Do you want some shine spray?
-That was from the inside.
-Oh, my God.
-Yeah, but look.
I thought I saw your finger.
-You did!
-But I thought it was
coming right through.
You see it?
-Okay.
Whew!
Whoo-ee.
I am so
[bleep] thirsty.
-You're gonna need Gatorade,
electrolytes.
This is a sport, actually.
-But you guys, now I need
the coat with the gloves.
I'm gonna be fully
boxed in.
Okay.
-You look great.
-This is, like,
me as a housewife,
washing dishes with my gloves.
-How is that?
Is that tight enough?
Here you go.
-Like, literally, what would
I do without Marni?
-Oh, my gosh.
-I didn't even think
you were coming this morning.
-You would actually do this.
-Yeah.
-That's the thing.
You would actually do it.
-Kris would be doing it.
♪♪
-I've been seeing it
for a minute that Lamar
is gonna be
writing a book.
-About what?
-I have no idea,
so I'm getting nervous.
-Well, what terms are
you guys on right now?
Have you guys
spoke recently?
-No. I haven't spoken to him
since, like, we --
-Were married?
No, I'm just kidding.
-No. After, you know,
his situation,
and then, we just stopped
talking after that.
I have nothing --
Like, I'm not worried about
if Lamar were to be
honest about him or I,
or his relationship
with our family.
I just want people
to tell the truth.
-So, I'm gonna go
to D.C. soon.
I'm gonna speak
at the White House.
-Oh, my God.
For what?
-For, like,
prison reform stuff.
They are gonna start, like,
a second change hiring program
where they're gonna
help the people
that are coming home
get jobs.
-You're doing
such a great thing.
And, I mean,
you're changing literally
so many peoples' lives.
I found out that
Mom's lying to me.
This SoulCycle thing
is all a lie.
-What happened?
-Lamar -- in the book,
he's saying how my mom
did tell him where to go.
-That's so crazy.
-It's exactly what
I thought happened,
which she denied
to me forever.
There's no way
he could have followed me.
Like, how would he know
I'm at SoulCycle
in Beverly Hills
at 6:00 a.m.?
-Okay, so, we want that guy
and this guy.
-Okay.
-Ugh. Khloé again.
-Yeah, well,
you should answer.
What if it's
something serious,
and not just, like,
work-related.
-No.
I'm just going to ignore her.
-Why on Earth would
she be ignoring me?
Like...
-She's scared that you're gonna
confront her
about that
SoulCycle thing.
-We got to find a way
to just expose Mom.
-You mean just want to
get her face-to-face.
-Yeah.
-Hi.
What's wrong.
-I was at the club.
-Alright, listen.
I'm gonna grab some soup,
and some goodies,
and I'll be over just as soon
as I get it together, okay?
-This is very nice of you.
-Well, you need to eat,
and keep your strength up.
-Aha!
-Hey, Khlo.
-What are you going here?
-I'm just taking care of Scott.
-She's quite the aid, though.
-I literally can't get you
on the phone for three seconds.
And so, all of a sudden,
you just have a free day
where you can just sit here
and hand-feed Scott?
-I don't think she was free.
-No, but I --
-So you canceled your day
for Scott?
-Part of it.
Yeah.
-I think it is nice the more
people you can be in touch
with, like,
in a nice way.
-I agree.
I just don't...
I mean, I, like,
miss him all the time,
but not in a place
that I'm like,
"I want to get back
with him."
So, he called me,
and he was like,
"I just knew we were all gonna
talk again at some point.
I'm just so happy."
He was like,
"I would love to see you.
I've been dying to see you
in person.
I just feel like we have so much
to talk about."
I mean, I think it would be nice
if you guys, like,
had a face-to-face.
I just feel like maybe
you have to get that out.
-I just feel like
that awkward "what if"
if we ever
ran into each other --
it was such an anxiety-filled
situation for me,
thinking about it, like,
"What if I ever saw him?
Like, what would we do?"
-Yeah.
-But for him to say
he's sorry publicly...
-It must make you
feel really good.
-It made me feel good.
And it's, you know --
-Probably just, like,
the closure that you needed.
-It felt good to finally
feel like, "Thank God."
Just that my relationship
was validated to me.
♪♪
[ Piano playing ]
-By the way, this is
the one and only song
Kourtney's ever learned.
And I was sitting
right next to her
while my dad
taught it to us --
-And do you not know how?
-I know half of it.
And she --
-You don't know any other song?
-It's the only thing
she knows how to play.
-It's a scam?
-Wait, can I just say something.
-It's a scam?
-Yeah. It's a full scam.
-Oh, I thought you were,
like, warming up.
-Can I just
say something?
Kourtney wants to do
40 things in her 40 year.
She's almost 40.
She hasn't even done...
-And I'm half asleep by --
-...40 things in her life.
You know, what --
in Duolingo French,
she's on, I think, 1%.
-So, what are the other things?
-And she's been doing it
for four years.
-I stopped, Khloé.
-But what are the other things?
-But that's my point.
All you do is stop.
-Okay, what do you want to do?
You want to go skydiving?
-No. I don't.
-So, name 40 things.
Let's make your list.
-Alright. I'm gonna put it
in my phone,
'cause then I can
constantly add, review.
-Oh, my God.
-Okay. "Play the piano."
-Oh, my God.
We're on one.
-"Speak French."
-Mm-hmm.
-I think "skinny dip
in the ocean."
-Okay, skinny dip in the ocean.
-I would like to fully, fully --
which I'm working on this
daily -- finalize the splits.
-This is a terrible list.
-Okay, go on.
-Here we go.
-A blood facial.
-Play the piano.
-You've said the same things
over and over again.
-Just, like, I want
to play another song.
-Can we pass the piano
and the French.
-Speak French.
-Okay.
Are you reading
the same [bleep] list?
-Yes.
-Why?
-Go to Finland.
-Oh, my God. Let me guess.
See the Northern Lights.
-See the Northern Lights!
What the [bleep] else?
Cook a meal.
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, yeah. Cook.
-You're gonna be [bleep] 40
by the time
you get this list finished,
so you better hurry up.
-What if you learned how
to roll sushi with Nobu?
That's a fun thing
for 40.
-No.
-Well, your list to 40, you're
really gonna get there, babe.
I promise you.
♪♪
-Since we went
to Costa Rica before,
North has not stopped
talking about it.
She, like, loved it.
And I didn't even think it was,
like, anything crazy.
I have been a little bit busy,
but I want to plan this.
-How many nights?
-Three, four.
-Oh, okay.
-The kids really want
to go to the beach.
Do you want to go?
-Right now?
-I mean,
we could go in an hour.
-Yeah. I just want
to get work upstairs.
I'm so excited to do
all of the things
that North wants to do.
But first,
I have some work things
that I just have to
take care of.
-Tell them that we will get
an attorney involved.
-There's, like, so much
that goes into this.
Everyone needs you.
I'm just trying to have
the balance of working so hard.
Mom guilt is so real.
Oh, my God.
Did you see that article?
Hold on.
It says, "O.J. Simpson
once bragged
about his hot-tub hookup
with wife's best friend
Kris Jenner
that left the momager
needing hospital treatment."
-What?
-"Simpson reportedly claimed
the size of his manhood sent
sent Kris Jenner
to the hospital,
according to
his former manager.
Norman Pardo
quoted Simpson saying that
he "[bleep] that bitch
until I broke her."
Who is Norman?
-Well, first of all,
never heard of this person.
And that never happened.
That [bleep]
piece of [bleep].
So, I'm so upset
by this whole article.
-Saying you
[bleep] someone?
Do you know how many people lie
on their dicks all day long?
It's what losers do.
Who cares?
-You know, it's just
bull[bleep], man.
It just...
After 25 years, you'd think that
it just wouldn't be a thing.
-I think, for the launch,
it should be funny commercials
that we could launch
through social media --
like, a mock infomercial.
-That's your mom all day.
-You know, that's why my mom
with all of her friends,
'cause that's, like, their era.
-It would be so good.
-And then, we can do little
funny snippets of my sisters,
just Instagram, like,
one-minute infomercials.
-So, this is what Kim wants.
They have me dancing
to "Baby Shark,"
sucking on a lollipop,
and wearing kimono.
What is going on here?
-Shapewear.
-How awkward.
First "Baby Shark," and now Kim
has Kylie whispering to herself?
It's insane.
Today, my girlfriends Lisa Rinna
and Kyle Richards and I
are shooting an infomercial
for Kim's new shapewear line.
-I'm just gonna be winging this.
I have no idea what we're doing.
-This is without alcohol,
which is --
-This is zero alcohol!
Yeah.
-We're so silly.
-Our kids are gonna kill us.
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, my daughter's [bleep]
really gonna kill me.
-Sir?
-Yeah?
-We're gonna stop and get
a bottle of champagne,
'cause I'm bored
back here.
I don't know
what to expect.
I really don't even know
where I'm going.
So, I just
have to have something
to take the edge off,
I guess.
-I, like, honestly want
to thank you.
You know, like, I dealt with
a lot in high school.
I had really bad anxiety
and depression.
My body image issues
were through the roof,
and I was only 16.
I want to take my symbol
of strength to prom
so we can
be strong together.
-Yeah, we are strong together.
-Yeah.
-Can't wait to dance.
But don't think I'm dancing
like you guys dance.
I have no idea
how you guys dance.
[ Cheering ]
-Do you want to go dance?
-Sure.
[ Cheering ]
-I have a great memory of now
what prom is for me,
but things were just getting
a little fuzzy, so I got to go.
♪♪
♪♪
-Hi, beautiful.
-What's going on?
-How are you?
-Good.
-Sit down.
Let's have a visit.
I haven't seen you in a while.
-I know.
-How are you feeling?
-I woke up a few weeks ago,
and my hands were really stiff.
It was really weird.
They felt different.
I went to go get my phone,
and I couldn't.
Like, my hands
were kind of numb.
The next day, I woke up,
and I literally couldn't lift
my toothbrush.
And I couldn't, like,
take my bra off.
I couldn't zip my pants up.
-That's extreme for you.
-It was something
that was really --
-Wrong.
-At this point,
I'm still waiting
to get my test
results back.
And I am going in to see
my rheumatologist again,
to discuss what I can do
if I have lupus,
or if I have
rheumatoid arthritis,
and what I can do
to keep it as calm as possible.
For the next few days,
it's gonna be hell wondering
what I have, what's going on,
and how to fix this.
I would be so sad if,
like, the baby came,
and I couldn't hold my baby.
-I know.
-'Cause I can't even
hold my phone.
I can't even hold --
I couldn't hold a bottle.
Like, I wouldn't be able
to do anything.
-That's how I feel when I go
to pick up your babies,
or all the rest
of the babies.
I think, "Oh."
-Yeah.
-And you're too young
for this, so...
-Yeah.
-There's this one thing
I can send to you.
It's a little blue bottle,
and it's called...
DES or DMS,
or something.
CBS is good, too.
-CBD?
-Not CBS.
CBD.
-CBD.
-I could put a few drops
of those myself for my neck.
Sometimes, I, like, overdo it,
and I put too much on,
and then I get very sleepy,
or lazy, or...
-You do get sleepy.
-I just want to nap all day.
♪♪
-Who would ever think that,
"Hey, I want to do something
that would be
disrespectful"?
-It's a tough world,
even when you're not
trying to hurt anybody.
-Well, they're saying that
I'm cultural appropriating.
-Do you think it's gonna
hurt your business?
-I think it's too early
to tell yet.
In a perfect world,
if I could just say,
"Let's change the name"...
-Right.
-...and it
would be that easy,
then I would do it
in a heartbeat.
-Do you know, like, how many
goods you've, like, made?
-Hundreds of thousands.
-Of items?
-We would lose,
like, $10 million.
-What?!
-Hello?
-Hey.
-How are you?
-I just saw the letter
from the mayor of Kyoto.
-Yeah.
Do you have any feelings?
-I definitely want to
take this really seriously.
-I do think it's important
to think about what he said.
-"Kimono is a traditional ethnic
dress, and truly symbolizes
sense of beauty, spirits,
and values of Japanese."
Reading that letter,
I felt an understanding.
How does everyone feel
about SKIMS?
SKIM?
Okay, raise your hand
if you like SKIMS.
Okay, more people
like SKIMS.
-We've got, like,
a lot of options
to repurpose
that inventory.
-Can we make the September
launch timeline at this point?
-By the skin
of our teeth.
-Okay, so, it's not
the end of the world.
-It's not the end
of the world.
-My kids eat at home
really healthy --
really, really healthy.
And the one day they want
a Candy Land birthday party,
and you're saying
they can't have sugar.
-I'm not saying
they can't have treats!
-It's Candy Land.
-There's candies
that are not disgusting,
and filled
with chemicals.
-Show me some.
-You're, like, dated.
You're, like,
in the past.
-It's a Candy Land-themed party!
Yes!
That's, like, what the party
is about -- Candy Land!
It's not [bleep]
Gluten Free Land, over here.
-We need to have
some healthy options.
-Then change the theme of the
party, because that's insane.
-So, then, you do your party,
and I'll do my party.
-Perfect.
-Great.
-So, what are you gonna
do about Penelope
and North's
birthday parties?
-I'm having my own party,
so you guys
are more than welcome,
and invited to come to my party.
-We're not doing separate
birthday parties.
-Yeah, we are.
-This is all so petty.
It's all so childish.
It's their
daughters' birthday.
They want to
celebrate together.
-I feel like you,
very oftentimes,
think that you are right
no matter what.
-Because I usually am.
-Okay.
-I'm sorry if you think that
I just want it my way
because I want it to be
a mutual party,
and I just don't think
it's the way to be.
♪♪
Alright.
-Do I look at you or...
-Yeah.
Just at me.
-So, we don't answer there?
-No.
Do you want to?
-I don't know.
-No, no, no.
We're just having
a conversation.
-So, I just stare at you?
-You don't have to stare.
-I know.
I'm just asking.
I'm not gonna not look
at you, then.
-Um...
-So, you're super
prepared.
-Alright, so, today, we are
going to talk about...
co-parenting.
-Do you want me
to interview you?
-Sure.
-"What's the biggest challenge
you've faced so far
while co-parenting,
and how did you overcome it?
How do you recognize
and handle these challenges?"
-Just being more honest
about things.
I think I was afraid to, like,
tell you certain things,
because I thought I didn't know
how you would react.
At the end of the day,
we just want to figure this out,
so we can get along,
and then that trickles down
to the three
unbelievable kids we have.
And we don't have
all the answers,
but luckily,
we have our friendship,
and the love
that we have for each other,
and we're able to talk,
and figure it out.
-Yeah.
Well, I appreciate
your understanding.
-I appreciate
the appreciation.
-Alright.
-Speaking of...
I've got to get home
for dinner.
-You do.
The kids are waiting.
It's been a pleasure
co-parenting with you.
-Co-parent of the year.
♪♪
-It's so beautiful!
Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you!
-Like, I never saw the photo op.
-I didn't go over there, either.
I saw everything else.
-Kylie did
a phenomenal job.
She went all out.
It is a pink explosion
of love and fabulousness.
Look at that photo booth!
Oh, my God!
It's a workout facility!
-I can't get over
these straws.
I added
a little bull.
-A bull?
-Aaah!
-You could go
a little faster.
Can I do it?
-No!
No!
Don't let her do it!
-My birthday wish
is just to have peace.
I want to put everything
behind me,
and I want to have forgiveness
and happiness in my life.
What is this?
-It doesn't
say anything?
-Is this for me?
What?
-He asked for help to
surprise you with something.
-What?
That is so crazy.
Thank you so much
for my necklace.
I was literally startled.
-Oh. You're welcome.
Do you like it?
-I love it.
Look. I'm wearing it.
But what's it for?
-Just 'cause.
-Oh, my God.
You weren't this nice to me
when we were together, ever.
Tristan got me a necklace
when I was in Connecticut.
-What?
Where did he send it?
To your hotel?
-Mm-hmm. Just nice.
But last night, when I get home,
he was like,
"I want to give you
your birthday present."
I go, "I don't want
a present from you."
He was like, "Please."
So, he gives me a card,
and he goes,
"And I hope
you accept this ring."
And I go, "No!
No! No! No! No!"
-So, do you remember
where we got Gabbana?
I reached out to him,
and I bought a dog for Khloé
as a surprise.
Look at this puppy.
-No.
-Look, it's kissing.
They're so sweet.
-I think it is
the absolute worst idea.
However, Khloé bought North
a hamster without my permission,
so I will happily go with you
to pick up a few of these dogs
for her,
drop them off,
and their big, huge [bleep]
in her kitchen.
-Oh, my God.
What is happening?
-Okay. Stay in here.
I'll be right back.
-No, no, no.
I don't want to.
What's happening?
-Surprise!
Happy birthday, Khloé.
-No.
Oh, my God.
-Here's your
new babies.
-Where are the dogs?
-Oh. I mean...
-What?
-Don't make that face at me.
-What?
-I told Mom -- not kidding --
three times, in writing,
I couldn't have a dog right now.
And I think she got me a dog
for every time I said "no."
Three dogs is wild
to give somebody.
♪♪
-Good morning.
Do you hate me?
-You're okay!
-Do you hate me?
-Never.
-I have to say, I had the best
[bleep] time last night.
So I am being responsible
for being incredibly emotional,
and inebriated,
and not using
my better judgement,
and being a complete piece
of [bleep] to you,
'cause I love you so much.
I'm really sorry.
-Well, you can go
say that to Khloé.
You were being that
same person to Khloé.
-I was mean to her, too?
-Yeah.
-God, you really do give it
to the people you love the most.
-It's true.
-Just don't say it loud.
Her head hurts.
Just go in there
by yourself, and say...
-I feel so awful having pressed
Khloé to have a good time.
'Cause I know she wants
to do anything
to make sure
that I'm okay.
But because her migraines
are so debilitating,
I don't know if it's the best
time for me to talk to her.
-KK?
It's me.
I'm sorry.
I'm not gonna bug you
for long.
Can I get you anything?
I don't want to
further aggravate her,
so I guess I'm just gonna
have to find
a better time
to apologize.
But at least she'll know
that I'm here for her
if she needs me.
-Take care of yourself.
I love you, too.
I have my phone
in the other room,
so if you need me,
just text me.
Okay.
We'll give you a minute.
I'll just come back and check
on you in, like, 15, 20?
Okay.
♪♪
-Kourtney,
what is this hickey?
-What is on your neck?
-My hair is here.
-No.
You have a hickey
on your neck?
-Just let me live.
-Aah!
-Aah!
Okay.
-Wait.
She's in her Aston Martin.
-Yes!
That's the Ho-mobile.
-Where is she going?
-Where the [bleep] are we going?
-Did we just pull up
to some random house?
-She's in the driveway.
-Wait. Wait.
She's getting out.
She's getting out.
-Wow.
Look at her outfit.
-This is a knife.
I need something.
-What's our plan?
-What the [bleep]
are you guys doing here?
-Oh, my God.
Just act natural.
-What do you think you're doing?
-Oh, we just came
to lay out.
-Do you think it's funny?
-What are you doing here?
-I'm having a meeting.
-With who?
-For Poosh.
-About what?
-If I have boundaries,
respect them.
-So, here's a stack of letters
that I feel like
are really good ones.
-Okay.
-There's one in here which I
immediately could do something.
"Hello, Kim.
My name is Paul.
I'm 24 years old.
I'm currently in
North Carolina Prison.
Now, my sentence is over,
and I have had time to mature,
and I have set some goals
for myself.
There is one thing in the way,
though -- my face tattoos.
I want to humbly ask
if you would help me
get the tattoos removed
from my face.
Thank you for your time.
Stay blessed."
And then, he sent me
the prison address,
and his parents' phone number.
Hi!
-Thank you.
-Oh, my God.
That's so nice.
So nice to meet you.
-Yes.
-You proved me wrong.
-Really?
-Yes.
He harassed me for your letter
lots of times --
I mean, for your address.
And I said,
"Boy, leave me alone.
She's never gonna get your
letter. Stop bothering me."
-So, you got out in March?
-Yes, ma'am. Yes.
-Yes, and we were
working every day
to get to this day,
right here.
-Aww.
-It's been a process.
-So, you decided you're just
done with the face tats.
-Well, I actually like them,
but I just don't feel like
I'm in a position in life
to where you have them.
-I want to do everything
that I can to help him succeed.
-Where do we stand with
what we're comfortable filming,
what we're not comfortable
filming?
-I don't think you and I
have to answer.
-I don't feel like there's much
more that I can give.
I have other things
to squeeze into my day.
Not only is it other work.
I had three parent-teacher
conferences this week.
The show is not
my only thing in life.
-I don't think
anybody has an issue
with your boundaries
with your kids.
-I have things I do
at nighttime, also.
-So do we.
-Right, but that's me.
I need to have some things
to myself.
-But we're saying you got to
budge at some point.
Like, we all budge.
-But what is there that
you're missing out on?
-Like, you don't talk
about your boyfriend.
You don't talk about --
-I don't have a boyfriend.
-Or dating --
-I don't date.
-Or your last boyfriend.
-I don't go on dates.
But I literally
don't go on dates.
-Yeah, why are you getting so
defensive, and yelling, though?
-Because they're saying
everything's changing.
It's not.
♪♪
-Dr. Pimple Popper
to the rescue.
-Just my neck.
You're not going any further.
-What? The machine?
-Mm-hmm.
-What do you do?
-You stab a little area --
-What?
-...that has the pimple.
-Ow.
-This one is worth it.
-Ow. That one hurts.
-Well...
-We're not done?
-No, you have,
like, a few here.
But I don't have to...
-[Bleep].
-Okay. I'm done.
The next customer
coming in.
Just kidding.
♪♪
-So, guys, the reason
I wanted you all to come
is because I feel
a little frustrated and anxious
about how everything's
been going lately.
So, I've decided that
we're gonna take a family trip,
and go to Wyoming.
-I love Wyoming.
-I'm into it.
-You do?
I want each one of you to pick
one person sitting here,
and tell them
what's the one thing you'd love
to focus on strengthening
in your relationship.
-I feel like...
Kourtney and I
sometimes fizzle.
So, I think I would love
to get us back on course.
-Kourt, you say it a lot.
Like, you're always like,
"We can't be so judgmental,"
but you are, too.
Like, we all have to realize
that we all are.
-Yeah.
-I want to fix, you know,
my relationship
probably with Kourtney,
for those mean reasons,
and those mean comments --
-Are you saying them?
-Both, yeah.
I mean,
I can be so mean.
-You guys go back and forth,
though.
It's an equal.
I think it is so amazing
that you came.
I really did not think
you were coming.
-The fact that
Kylie didn't come.
-It's so mean.
-She just...
You know, she, like, doesn't
really leave L.A. much.
Like, I literally --
-We couldn't have
made this easier.
We're in a private plane.
You land here.
It's like so beautiful.
-It's two hours away.
It's two days
of your life.
-Two days.
-Hi.
How's Wyoming?
-It's cool.
I mean, you know,
it sucks a little.
I thought you were
gonna be here.
-I'm sorry.
I know.
Mom hit me, and said that you
were upset that I didn't come.
-I know.
You know, I just, like --
It's a place that we would
always come every summer,
so I was excited,
and I came in from Europe
thinking you were gonna be here,
and then just went on the plane.
-Aww. You got to tell me!
I feel really bad.
I didn't know how important
this was to you.
Have fun. I promise I'll
make it up to you.
We'll do something
when you get back.
-I know that
the theme of the day
is teamwork
and communication.
-I really don't
like this, guys.
Like, I'm not
gonna last long.
I'm afraid of heights, and I
don't care to get over my fear.
I don't care
if people judge me!
They can judge me
all they want!
I'm afraid of heights,
and this is cruel!
And I don't
give a [bleep].
I don't need to do it.
-Khloé, are you scared?
-Don't [bleep]
talk to me.
-Khloé, you [bleep] [bleep].
-Shut the [bleep] up.
Do hands first.
-Who are you to give
Mom directions?
You didn't even do it.
-You're a bully,
and you're a bitch, okay?
-You're a [bleep] [bleep].
-What do you get out
of being a jerk?
-Why are you leaving?
-Because I feel like, why would
I want to be here with
a bunch of people who,
literally,
they just pick on me?
-We are sisters, though,
at the end of the day.
-No, I get it.
-You have to remember
that sometimes sisters
are just like that.
-I get it,
but there's also a way
that we can be
to be more helpful.
♪♪
-Oh, my God. My nipples
are literally, like...
-Yeah, but they look so good.
-Oh, my God.
They are...
-Oh, honey,
your headlights are on.
-Oh, yeah.
No. I just got cold.
But look at my nips.
-They look like
you're breastfeeding.
-I know.
What's wrong with that?
-Whoo!
-You're excited to see me!
-I just got cold.
-Wait, Kourtney,
it's your birthday.
You need to get
on stage and shimmy.
-Kourtney,
who do you know here?
Why do you care?
-Oh, I don't give a [bleep].
I was just saying.
-So go on st--
Okay, yeah.
-I just said Sarah's dance
when Phyllis is like,
"Okay, I'm gonna
go on stage,"
she's stops and goes like,
"Whoo!"
-You are obsessed
with my dancing.
It's insane how concerned
with my dancing.
-I love it.
It was super wild.
Whoo!
♪♪
-And strut, strut!
And strut!
-Oh, my God!
I missed this guy!
Why are you wearing a suit?
How are you?
Oh, my God.
You're really going.
Hi, Hersh.
-Hersh, sit.
-Hi! Hi, mamas!
Hi!
-Good dog.
-Oh!
Scott, you look so good.
I didn't know the suit
would still fit you.
How do you feel?
-Like a glove.
I always knew the Lord
was in here somewhere.
-Hi, boo.
-Just had to go find him.
-The Lord's back in Calabasas.
-Check the shoes.
-"Lord Disick"!
The Lord is back.
The Lord comes out
when necessary.
-Yeah.
Small occasions, sometimes big,
but definitely
has to be an occasion.
So, for a Westminster Dog Show
prancing around town,
I would love to be the Lord.
-Yes.
-Lord's got a phone call,
doesn't he?
Oh, that's my
real estate broker.
-Oh, my goodness.
-And by the way, if this dog
pops off the way I know she is,
she's probably gonna start
making me money.
Do you want to see
what we've been working on?
-Yeah. Do I?
-Hershela, one strut!
♪♪
Come on.
Oh, you're taking
a little break.
Are you okay?
-Oh.
-And strut!
Now turn!
Up!
Yeah.
-Good girl!
-Hershela.
The competition
is high,
but we've got a star
on our hands.
And it's very obvious
that our wiener could go places.
-Big ol' wiener.
-I think our big ol' wiener
could take it to the top.
-Yeah.
♪♪
I'm so nervous.
-Don't be.
Like your speaking
to your family, all of us.
-This kind of car
is not built for...
-I got you.
Don't even worry.
-I got to just...
There we go.
-Hello!
-Hi!
-You look amazing.
-Aww.
Thank you.
I'm so excited to see you guys.
-Hi. How are you doing?
-You are beautiful.
Oh, my goodness.
Hello.
-Hello.
-Hello.
Thank you for sharing
your son with me.
Oh, my goodness.
-Hey, guys.
You want to take our photos?
By that bridge.
-Wherever you want.
-I was thinking maybe the grass.
-Okay.
I could go grass.
If I stab you, don't scream.
-No, don't even worry about it.
-Oh, my God.
I dropped the pin.
Holy [bleep].
I can't curse
in front of your family.
-It's okay.
-Are you sure this?
Do I do this?
-Yeah.
♪♪
-I know how to walk
on grass, guys.
-And people say
you have no talent.
-Right!
♪♪
-Hi.
-Hey, Mom.
-We're K1, K2, and K3.
-Who's who?
-Do you think I'm gonna be
number 2 or number 3?
I'm gonna be number 1.
Okay.
This is the first hole.
I'm winning!
Whoo!
Ah!
I am fabulous.
-Can you put, for me,
3 for the last hole?
-Yeah.
-Oh.
I did it again.
I'm a really good golfer,
you guys.
-Mom, where are you at
for six and seven?
-One and one.
-Mom, how many times did you
swing to get it in there?
-One.
-But how many swings?
You have to count how many
swings it takes to get that one.
-I got one swing.
-I guarantee you
you did not get all that.
-It's on tape.
Who was filming me
when I got the two ones?
Hello?
-Okay.
You win.
♪♪
-Hi. How are you?
-You're in for a treat today
that is sweeter than candy --
"Kandy" with a "K".
She's the youngest sister
of the most powerful sister
in Hollywood.
She's a mom,
a best-selling author,
a model,
and fashion designer,
and an entrepreneur
who all of you know
from the hit reality TV series
she stars in with her family,
called "Keeping Up
with the Kardashians."
Welcome to "Divorce Sucks,"
Khloé Kardashian.
-What an intro.
-We are so psyched
that you're here.
Your parents split up
in '91.
So, how old were you,
then, Khloé?
-I was about 4 or 5.
-Okay.
-And I always remember, though,
how amazing --
I'm sure now that I've gone
through it myself,
trying to co-parent, that they
were so seamless with it.
I never,
ever heard my parents
talk disrespectfully
about the other one.
-Right.
-For me, True is 1 and,
like, a month old.
So, she doesn't really know
what's happening.
But to me, she does know,
and she feels energy,
and I'm a big believer
of that.
So, I do everything
in my power
to not put just any sort of
heavy energy around her.
I mean, as a kid,
I didn't know.
My parents were so good
at not letting us feel
whatever they
were going through.
And I want to give her
the same thing.
And I know her dad
is a great person.
I know how much he loves her,
and cares about her,
so I want him
to be there.
-Khloé, thank you so much
for being here today
on "Divorce Sucks."
-Thank you for having me.
Hi, everyone.
Kris Jenner here.
I want to read you guys
an amazing story --
"The Great Book of
Kardashian-Jenner Tales."
Once upon a time, there lived
a powerful queen who gave birth
to five princesses,
each with their own gifts
and passions,
from health to beauty...
-This is gonna be so big
for Kylie Cosmetics.
-...to humor.
We have to talk about
our next prank.
I'm thinking I dress up
like my mom.
But as their kingdom
grew stronger, so, too,
did the burdens
that came with it.
-I will [bleep] you up,
you literal [bleep].
-[Bleep].
-Stop, you two.
-Kourtney!
-Oh, you want to know
what happens next?
Well, honey,
you got to stay tuned.
-Khloé, I'm pregnant.
-Just get the [bleep]
out of here.
I don't even want to see
your [bleep] face.
-I don't want to be
near your fat ass.
-Then go! Then go!
-Okay? Shut the [bleep] up.
♪♪
