hi guys i'm MindOfTim and welcome to my
channel
today um I've decided to give Destroy
All Humans a go
i've never played it before but this is
the remaster edition for the xbox
one x
hello friends have you ever gazed up
into the night sky
and wondered at the possibility of life
on other planets
what marvelous beings might exist out
there
hands extended in friendship awaiting
the moment
when we humans take our first tentative
steps into space
what tales will be told of that glorious
day
when we are first contacted by our
brothers from beyond the stars
five all systems go general
four come on baby show us what you got
three what the hell
two what in the blue blazes is that
one no wait stop the countdown
oh damn that didn't go so well
so we're stranded
and now maybe believe that the humans
are trying to
kill us
ah
 
 
incompetent fool i should never have
sent you
what's shakin pox you look a little
what's the word constipated
let's just say i hope you turn out to be
less of an evolutionary
dead end than your predecessor
you lost me shall i tell you a secret
few of our people know this but the dna
patterns in our cloning banks are
becoming more and more degraded with
each new clone
that's bad right only if we want to
retain our immortality through cloning
of course it's bad i sent crypto 136 in
search of a planet we visited many eons
ago
a planet seated with pure furon dna
but i lost contact let me get this
straight you sent me
him crypto136 to a hostile planet
and he's disappeared maybe captured
maybe even being tortured as we speak
well i wouldn't jump to any conclusion i
bet you wouldn't
let me tell you something pox you're a
smart cookie
but there's a time for thought and
there's a time for
action and this is one of those times
which the second one
perhaps you're right one three seven of
course i'm right you kidding me
a cryptosporidium captured by a bunch of
monkeys
we gotta go in we gotta crack some
craniums
we gotta rescue me him he's gonna rescue
me i mean when we gotta i gotta
brains man when do i get to blow things
up
patience crypto patience i take your
point
prepare the mothership
that's what i'm talking about
so what's the name of this crummy planet
our destination the planet
earth
he really sounded like chaos from the
skylanders
the guy in the chair
okay so we've got to save the clone of
me from the humans
uh okay mission select so
let's just start the first mission see
what happens
use the jet back to escape deadly water
okay so water
is not we can't swim i'm guessing then
if that's the case
are we also looking for um more dna
so we can clone more aliens and is human
dna
usable
oh not the not the best first step
ortho box to cryptosporidium137 come in
cryptosporidium
crypto here how's the view from the
safety of the mothership
very funny let's just say i'm glad i'm
up here
and you're down there loathsome little
planet
now crypto to ensure this invasion runs
smoothly it is imperative we identify
the dominant life forms on this world
those lactating bovoids are likely
candidates
surely you don't mean those foul
smelling gas bags
on the fence yes i'm afraid i do
but they're covered in nipples now
cryptosporidium
okay here we go crypto to verify your
suit is working under earth's
atmospheric conditions
get a move on right
okay nice and simple achievement right
there
here we go we can peer into the minds of
lower life forms via the cortex
scan rip the preliterate thoughts from
their pathetic little brains
um what did i just do did i mind control
this guy
oh primitive yes profound
scan another one
again with the move i think these
lactating bovoids are trying to fool us
are we mind controlling these guys then
or or just reading the minds
they eat with their mouths
ah i think i'm going to be violently ill
attention earth creatures this planet is
now part of the furon
empire your benevolent masters welcome
you
at this time we wish to abduct you for
the purpose of scientific research
the procedure will be protracted and
invasive do you have
any objections
earth creature i am addressing you
respond or
be vaporized
i don't care how many stomachs you have
i don't have time for this
neurons above the astounding power of
psychokinesis crypto
target an object or creature then lift
it into the sky
use
slam them into the ground okay so i've
already
drowned a cow in the lake and now we
have to slam what do we do
oh okay
as if i shoot him up in the air oh
oh my god he went high damn
oh my god whoa you can shoot these
things so far
see you oh look at him go look at him go
there we go that's better is that going
to kill it is it
good crypto
scarecrow martha
you didn't tell me where he's having
barbecue for dinner
wait a minute that ain't steak that's
holy mother martha
give me the shotgun how the hell did he
think i was staying this looks like a
job for the zappomatic
farmer right trigger extracting
the brain stem from what's left of the
agricultural engineer
okay give me the brain snap press the
button repeatedly consider the brain
stem and collect the furon dna
come on back you gotta
man
i am not green
all right what's this say as long as
shields have energy they protect you
from harm a gauge showing the current
charge will appear when the shield isn't
fully charged
okay when you hit or touch water shield
energy depletes
some impacts deal more damage than
others if not damaged further the shield
slowly recharge after a few seconds
the shield bar turns red it's out of
energy any hit could be lethal dodge
projectiles or retreat
from the battle until shields begin
recharging collect brain stems
reduces the shield recharge delay the
sorcerer also has a shield to recharge
use the drain ability on humans or
vehicles instead
the saucer shield doesn't recharge
automatically
be merciless let none survive right so
kill the farm hands
so we've just got to they all are
it was like a graphical glitch there oh
they make it nice and easy by showing
you a nice big beam in the sky
i keep trying to fling them but i'm
going to farm
achievement for that what was that for
when two humans collide
all right use a human to kill another
human
evening miz turnip seed we got a call
from farmer dixon over the other side of
state road
said he heard some pretty strange noises
coming from over this way
what a great face man what
that human law enforcement officer is
attempting an
unauthorized entry of your spacecraft
if those p brains were to get their
hands on your quantum deconstructor
they could rip a hole in the space-time
continuum
well we won't want that
oh the furionity vaporize them crypto
oh we have a jet pack sweet where's my
fuel though where's my fuel
um uh where is my fuel oh i see you just
sort of drift down after a while
oh that's nice and easy
everything in your path wait optional
objective was to kill the farmer's wife
using a chicken
i think it's a bit late for that but can
i get in the car or do i just destroy
the
right i destroy it
okay so it takes takes a bit of takes
about two full charges to destroy the
vehicle the car the police vehicle
anyway
step beneath the saucer and enter hold x
take a spin in yourself
oh sweet
age
there's one
all right where's the last one now is
this little one just here
what's next what you got for me crypto
more army on their way
joe mccarthy's good ass gold oh
great the human military industrial
complex
we can't allow them to alert their
leaders to our presence
exterminate them now
open
all right okay this is fairly easy so
far
but it's the first level so is he dead
yeah he's dead
okay what's left bumper do oh you can
switch
i haven't unlocked them yet so i stick
to that there well it doesn't pause the
game
so i've got to remember that
i see you hold the right stick up and
down and you
your saucer actually goes up and down
look out there are more to the north in
the bushes
oh yeah
can i just keep doing that continuously
i am chaos all right we've got two left
what we got all right do i need any
shields
Aww now i need a shield damn it
wipe them out once i'm borrowed
pfft tank... i got a flying spaceship
i'm gonna get my little health back a
little bit
you're gone you're gone are you gone
actually
missed i missed but oh they're here
there we go we're out the way one more
i cannot
okay quite fun story so far
there's a bit of comedy in it which i
really like
did you see what i saw you bet your
sweet ass i did
what did you see little green man in a
flying saucer wiping out the best
army right good me too green
not gray don't be a stiff you know what
it means
absolutely what it means the papers got
it right for once
get on the horn to silhouette we've got
the worst case scenario
big heads we're actually onto something
i don't believe it
believe it roswell was only the
beginning
the invasion is on
okay guys i think here's a good time to
end this video if you enjoyed it please
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one thank you so much for watching until
next time this is MindOfTim
signing off
moooooo
