SO COME DOWN TO CHICKUM'S APPLE
FARM.
I'M DEBRA CHICKUM.
>> AND I'M HER SISTER.
EVERY YEAR THOUSANDS OF FAMILIES
VISIT OUR PICK YOUR OWN APPLE
FARM FOR THEIR SHARE OF FALL
FUN.
LOCATED IN THE PART OF NEW YORK
STATE THAT HAS CONFEDERATE
FLAGS.
>> WHY PICK APPLES?
JUST ASK ANY OF OUR SATISFIED
CUSTOMERS.
>> I NEVER PICKED APPLES BEFORE,
BUT NOW I HAVE.
I HAD FUN, I THINK.
>> IT WAS CUTE.
FAR BUT CUTE.
A LOT OF BEES.
>> I STEPPED IN A GOPHER HOLE
AND BROKE MY FOOT.
BUT MY GIRLFRIEND HAD FUN.
>> FOR JUST $45 YOU CAN BRING
HOME $10 WORTH OF APPLES.
>> SELECT FROM OUR VARIETIES
LIKE HUGE SOFT.
>> TINY HARD.
>> GREEN.
>> ORANGE.
>> AND APPLE.
>> WHAT OUR APPLES LACK IN
FLAVOR THEY MAKE UP FOR IN ON
THE GROUND.
>> THEY GET THE DEERS DRUNK.
>> YOU'LL PICK APPLES UNDER THE
WATCHFUL EYE OF OUR FARMHAND
HANK.
>> HE'S A TROUBLED MAN WHO CAME
WITH THE LAND.
AND WE PAY HIM IN DENTISTRY.
>> HI.
I'M HANK.
I WILL TAKE YOU TO THE ONE TREE
THAT'S WORKING THIS YEAR.
OUR APPLES ARE BEST DURING A
VERY SPECIFIC WINDOW OF TIME.
AND WHENEVER YOU COME YOU JUST
MISSED IT.
>> STILL NOT FEELING PICKY?
LISTEN TO THIS SATISFIED
CUSTOMER.
>> MY GIRLFRIEND PICKED A APPLE
SO WRONG, SHE PULLED THE WHOLE
BRANCH OFF THE TREE AND NOW HANK
SAYS WE OWE THREE GRAND.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WE HAVE A PETTING ZOO.
TELL THEM, HANK.
>> WE FOUND SOME ANIMALS, AND
NOW THEY'RE IN PRISON.
YOU CAN PET THEM IF YOU PAY ME.
WE HAVE GOATS, SHEEP.
ALSO GOT DONKEY RIDES.
DID YOU KNOW DONKEYS CAN BE
DEPRESSED?
THE OTHER DAY I HEARD HIM SAY,
"STOP."
JUST LIKE THAT.
"STOP."
HE'S LIKE EEYORE WITH A PLAN.
>> BUT HEY.
WE AIN'T JUST APPLES.
>> WE GOT PEACHES IN THEORY,
CHERRIES IN THEORY, AND
STRAWBERRIES IN THEORY.
>> AND DON'T PASS UP OUR CIDER
DONUTS.
>> THEY'RE DONUTS BUT FROM
YESTERDAY.
>> AND BE SURE TO TAKE HOME SOME
OF OUR PENIS GOURDS.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
THEY CAME OUT EXTRA PENIS THIS
YEAR.
WANT TO HEAR MORE ABOUT US?
>> PEOPLE USUALLY DON'T.
>> WE'RE UNMARRIED SISTERS.
>> MY HAIR'S BEEN IN ONE BRAID
FOR 40 YEARS AND NOW IT GROWS
THAT WAY.
>> I'M 28.
>> IT'S HALLOWEEN ALMOST.
>> DO YOUR SPOOKY ACTIVITIES
WITH US.
>> OUR HAUNTED HAYRIDE IS
STAFFED ENTIRELY BY LOCAL TEEN
BOYS WHO TAKE THINGS WAY TOO
FAR.
THEY'RE GOOD BOYS.
BUT IF THEY PULL YOU OFF THE
HAYRIDE, FIGHT LIKE HELL.
THE MASKS MAKE THEM BEHAVE
DIFFERENT.
MOB MENTALITY.
I HAVE TO BE HONEST WITH YOU.
THEY SCARE THE HELL OUT OF ME.
>> SO COME.
COME PLAY OUTDOORSINESS WITH US.
>> DOES OUR BUSINESS MAKE A
PROFIT?
NO.
HOW DO WE AFFORD TO LIVE?
SIMPLE.
I WROTE THE SCREENPLAY FOR "50
FIRST DATES" BASED ON MYSELF.
>> THEY CHANGED IT A LOT.
>> THEY DID.
>> CHICKHAM'S APPLE FARM.
MAYBE JUST GO TO THE STORE.
♪♪♪
