Brainy Dose Presents:
13 Signs Someone Is Secretly Insecure
Insecurity is described as “a feeling of
general unease or nervousness that may be
triggered by perceiving oneself to be vulnerable
or inferior in some way."
While there are some obvious signs of being
insecure - poor social skills and a general
anxiety about being around other people, to
name a couple - there are some signs that
wouldn't indicate being insecure at all.
Some behaviors that can be seen as confidence
are actually signs of insecurity!
Often, people who can't stop boasting about
how great their lives are, may act like they
have it all figured out, when in reality,
they might be really insecure.
It could be someone you know, or maybe it's
you.
One person might not show their insecurity
the same way as another, but if you notice
that they display a number of the following
signs, chances are, they're secretly insecure.
Number 1 - Constant Bragging
Insecurity presents itself in a variety of
ways, depending on the cause and the person's
personality.
For instance, people who have narcissistic
personality disorder tend to be deeply insecure.
They project a false image of themselves to
others and are hypersensitive to any criticism,
no matter how small.
Now, bragging doesn't automatically equal
narcissism, but the need ‘to show off' does
indicate insecurity.
Number 2 - Need To Be Right
Insecurity can also present itself as a 'need
to be right' - like, all the time.
An insecure person will constantly challenge
your opinions, and even try to gather data
to prove that they're RIGHT and you're WRONG.
Their inability to accept someone else's point
of view, and their need to be right, often
makes those around them feel insignificant
or inferior.
They can only feel good about themselves by
putting others down.
Number 3 - People Pleaser
Those with anxiety or a history of psychological
trauma can exhibit their insecurities by being
people-pleasers.
These individuals don't know how to stand
up for themselves and make bad decisions trying
to please everyone.
To avoid conflict, they just go along with
others - instead of making their own decisions.
Number 4 - Arrogance
Some insecure people try to overcompensate
and act as if they're superior to everyone
else.
But deep down, they're terribly afraid that
someone will discover their true self and
expose them.
All that arrogance is just a cover to protect
their ego and self-worth - they do everything
they can to hide their insecurity from others.
Number 5 - Inability To Maintain Eye Contact
Eye contact is one of the most prominent forms
of nonverbal communication.
You can find out a lot about someone by looking
them in the eye - since it enables you to
connect on a deeper level.
In fact, research suggests that you can read
basic emotions in someone’s eyes - such
as happiness or sadness; and even different
mental states - like excitement or boredom.
Insecure people often have trouble with eye
contact because of the transparency it comes
with.
They will try to avoid it, since hiding their
insecurity is their lifeline.
Number 6 - Using Everyday Objects As Armor
People who lack confidence, often feel safer
if they hide their 'body windows.'
These 'windows' are considered to be our vulnerable
parts - such as the eyes, mouth, chest, and
the palms.
Something as simple as zipping up a jacket,
holding a bag or a beverage can make insecure
people feel more comfortable - as these everyday
objects protect them by acting as a sort of
armor.
Number 7 - Avoiding Contact
Insecurity can often be traced back to childhood
and the relationships with distant parents
- something that's known as ‘insecure-avoidant
attachment.’
People with avoidant insecure traits are always
trying to be self-reliant and they spend most
of their time alone - living alone, eating
alone - and they hesitate to go out.
They may also spend a lot of time on the Internet
or watching TV.
These individuals usually prefer seclusion
- they will even avoid making contact when
they see someone they know.
Number 8 - Frequent Nodding
Insecure people have a tendency to nod and
agree - even when they disagree.
They would rather not draw attention to themselves
by offering a differing opinion.
This complacency is usually based on a person's
deep-seated desire to be liked - at any cost.
They have trouble saying NO and tend to say
YES, often - because they believe it'll make
others like them more.
These people may even take on more than they
can handle, just to earn someone's approval.
This makes them feel more secure, as it allows
them to influence how others see them.
Being liked is more important to them than
being their genuine self.
Number 9 - Defensiveness
People with insecurities can't stand losing
an argument - especially about something important
to them.
They get unnecessarily defensive when their
beliefs are challenged.
Emotionally-defensive behaviors are meant
to avoid feelings of failure or inferiority
- something insecure people can't risk in
front of others.
Number 10 - Clinginess
Clinginess is another trait of insecurity
- seeking constant reassurance and approval
in any kind of relationship.
Clingy people are usually jealous of any other
positive connections their friend or partner
might have, and view those connections as
a threat to their relationship.
Seeing genuine affection being exchanged,
makes them feel diminished - even if it has
nothing to with them.
Security and control are what they crave most,
and this new variable - they don't have control
over, makes them tighten the leash they have
on their friend or partner - and try to control
them instead.
Number 11 - Talking Too Much, Or Too Little
Enjoying long silences during conversations
or being unable to handle them, is another
trait insecure people display - chattering
on and on about themselves or clamming up
completely.
Insecure people are so focused on maintaining
their image that they don't pick up on conversational
cues.
They don’t really recognize when it's time
for them to talk or listen.
Number 12 - Revealing Comfort Cues
Everyone has a nervous tic, but insecure people
have quite a few - and one of them is guarding
their mouths.
The mouth is the 'window' to the truth - and
covering it is symbolic of hiding the truth.
People tend to cover their mouths to hide
when they're upset, lying, or suppressing
a negative thought.
Insecure people also tend to make 'rubbing'
motions or 'body-hugging' motions to give
themselves some self-assurance and comfort.
This goes back to childhood.
When we were little and felt anxious or scared,
our parents would hold us to make us feel
better - and this motion is still associated
with comfort, even as adults, to assure that
everything will be alright.
Number 13 - Always First To Hang Up
Any interactions can make insecure people
feel anxious, so they avoid conversations
or try to terminate them as quickly as possible.
To get away, they'll look for any excuse to
end the interaction - so they can get back
to their safe space.
Generally, insecure people don't hold much
interest in others.
They monopolize the conversation and when
it turns to a topic they don't enjoy, or one
that is not about them, they end it.
Low self-esteem is a common cause of insecurity
and can be extremely destructive when it's
not understood.
While some people are aware of their insecurities
and work to better themselves, others try
to escape the problem by blaming it on other
people.
Insecurity is neither an easy thing to live
with nor to overcome - and it can’t be cured
overnight or forced away.
One must decide if and when they're ready
to make a change for the better.
And if you happen to identify with some of
these signs of insecurity, try to see the
positive traits you possess as well.
Being self-aware about both 'the good' and
'the bad' will allow you to find the security
you crave and stop these negative, self-destructive
behaviors once and for all.
What do you think?
Did any of these signs of insecurity surprise
you?
Share your thoughts and comments below!
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