THE WORLD IS STILL REELING FROM
THE BREXIT.
NO ONE KNOWS HOW IT WILL WORK.
DOES ENGLAND NEED ALL NEW TRADE
DEALS?
WILL IT BAN FOREIGN WORKERS?
WILL WE HAVE TO PAY IMPORT
TARIFFS ON COLDPLAY?
( LAUGHTER )
THERE'S JUST NO WAY OF KNOWING.
AND THERE'S HUGE NEWS ON BREXIT.
THIS GUY RIGHT HERE, THIS IS
BORIS JOHNSON, THE
FORMER MAYOR OF LONDON, AND A
MAN MANY ARE CALLING ENGLAND'S
DONALD TRUMP BECAUSE HE'S AN
ANTI-IMMIGRANT CONSERVATIVE
ACCUSED OF FEARMONGERING FOR
POLITICAL GAIN, AND LIKE TRUMP,
HE HAS A HAIR GRAFT FROM A
VIKING CORPSE.
( LAUGHTER )
I THINK.
I'M NOT SURE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
WHAT THAT IS.
YES.
HE LOOKS LIKE-- HE LOOKS LIKE
ONLY A SEMISUCCESSFUL CLONE OF
DONALD TRUMP, LIKE THEY USED A
TOENAIL OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
SO AFTER SUCCESSFULLY LEADING
THE BREXIT VOTE, BORIS JOHNSON
WAS THE FAVORITE TO BECOME
BRITAIN'S NEXT PRIME MINISTER.
EXCEPT HE DID THIS.
>> IT IS VITAL NOW IN THE
CONSERVATIVE PARTY THAT WE BRING
TOGETHER EVERYBODY WHO
CAMPAIGNED SO HARD BOTH FOR THE
REMAIN AND THE LEAVE SIDES.
THAT IS THE AGENDA FOR THE NEXT
PRIME MINISTER OF THIS COUNTRY.
I HAVE CONCLUDED THAT THAT
PERSON CANNOT BE ME.
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: THAT'S LEADERSHIP.
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
EXCUSE ME.
I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.
I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.
I HAVE BLOWN UP THE THE BRIDGE.
NOW, EVERYBODY, ACROSS THE RIVER
SOMEHOW!
I'LL STAY HERE.
( LAUGHTER )
ALSO, I JUST HEARD THAT ON THE
DAY OF THE BREXIT VOTE-- THIS IS
TRUE-, BREXIT BEAT PORN AS
GOOGLE'S MOST POPULAR SEARCH
TERM.
THAT IS UNBELIEVABLE.
THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO JUST
SEARCH FOR THE WORD "PORN."
YOU GUYS KNOW PORN IS AVAILABLE
THAT'S LIKE GOING TO THE GROCERY
STORE AND ASKING, "EXCUSE ME,
WHICH AISLE HAS THE FOOD?"
IN FACT, THERE'S SO MUCH PORN ON
THE WEB, I BET THAT IF YOU
GOOGLE "BREXIT," YOU'LL GET PORN
ANYWAY.
MAYBE A VIDEO OF A GUY GOING--
( BRITISH ACCENTS )
DING-DONG!
I SAY, DID SOMEBODY ORDER SOME
BANGERS AND MASH!
( AS BRITISH WOMAN )
YES, I DID!
BUT HOWEVER SHALL I PAY FOR IT
NOW THAT THEY'VE DEVALUED THE
POUND?
( AS BRITISH MAN )
WELL, MY LADY, I COULD GIVE YOU
A VERY VALUABLE POUND.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THEY DON'T CALL ME "BIG BEN" FOR
NOTHING.
( LAUGHTER )
THEN THEY BOTH CLOSE THEIR EYES
AND THINK OF ENGLAND.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT, GUYS.
CLOSE YOUR EYES RIGHT NOW AND
THINK OF JON BATISTE AND STAY
