- Hey guys, welcome back
to The Captain's Log.
I'm naked today, no
glasses, Ben convinced me.
Ben Glieb's my guest and Henry Horse.
Look at Henry Horse, right here.
Henry Horsey!
- That's right, look, the eyes
are the windows of the soul.
- 13 years of the Captain's Log,
first puppy appearance.
- Oh, okay, and first time no glasses?
- Ah, maybe I've done a few, but this is--
- Well, I was gonna say I'm honored,
but now I just feel cheap.
- Yeah, well you know,
I try to make all my guests feel at home
so I do say a lot of things
that might not be exactly true.
How famous and funny you are,
- (laughs) Oh!
- But you know, hey! (laughs)
- Oh, shit.
- Ben Glieb Off The Hook--
- Your ticket sales, baby.
(laughs)
- Off The Hook Comedy Club,
star of Idiotest on Netflix,
which is a cool show, man.
- Thank you.
- How much prep do you
have to do for the show?
Like when you--
- Oh, huge, huge amount.
- You do, right, do you do
a lot of research about it.
- I work very hard in every,
I'm just sharing things
to my personal page.
- Do you not share it to the,
and then share?
- No I don't know why I did that.
- Hit share, and then go share to page.
- Oh I see there.
- You have to do that now.
- That's what it is.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah so we're teaching Ben.
- I love that.
- Ben's a master of social media over here
with all his--
- I just didn't see
that part of the button.
I'm usually very adept at this.
No I work crazy hard
every episode of Idiotest.
I, after season one, became,
well I was head writer
season one but became
co-executive producer as well.
- Yeah.
- And I work on every
single test on the show.
- You do?
- Every single test.
I write some from scratch and then our
other writers write most
of them from scratch,
and then I work on every one,
I take them, we debate
them, we spend an hour
1/2 sometimes or to a week we come
back to a test until I was happy with it
because I didn't want to ever go on air,
it's my face out there,
I didn't want to go out there with a test
that I didn't believe
was the best we could be,
one that I could personally defend.
And so I worked really
hard with our other EPs
Craig Brooks and Aaron
Solomon and making sure
that the show was as good as it could be.
- And who's the smartest
guest you had on there?
- I don't know, 'cause
most is regular people.
I don't know the names, I
don't care about the people.
- But I mean, do you see some people
who are crazy smart or no?
- Yeah, there are some Mensa
people who aced it and did
pretty darn good and won
10,000 pretty easily,
but as far as celebrities
who was the smartest?
Iliza Shlesinger was good,
but then she panicked
when there was math in one question,
it wasn't even math she just had numbers
and freaked out and it
was a trick question
and she didn't realize it
'cause she was partnered
with Russell Peters and
he was not great at it
from memory serves.
I think Tiffany Haddish was pretty good.
- How'd you come up with the idea?
- It was not my idea.
- It wasn't?
- So I did not, they just
offered me to host it.
- Why did they pick you?
- And change my life.
- How did they pick you?
- Incredible host, talented.
- How did they know you
were gonna be good at that?
- That's a good question.
I think they didn't know that--
- Why did they not pick me?
You know what I'm saying?
- Well, you live in a
small town in Florida.
- Right.
- Very far from everything and you like
to wear your glasses and they don't,
it looks like ass on camera and in studio.
- This is true.
Which is why Ben clearly made
me wear no glasses today.
- Yeah I wanna see your
eyes, I wanna see my eyes.
I wore blue so it's pop my eyes.
- I wanna protect my cornea
and my retina in the sun.
- I feel like you got tint
going on on all your windows.
- I do.
- I feel like you're over worried about it
for no reason whatsoever.
But yeah, they didn't know that I'd
be good at brain puzzles, nor did I.
And I wasn't actually
very good at them ever.
- You trained your brain.
- I trained my brain, I
didn't even understand
why the show was called
Idiotest and they gave
me a bunch when I first
got the job to study.
- Yeah.
- The very first test, it was like
touch the down arrow and I'm staring at it
and I can't find a down arrow and then
as I gave up I looked at the answer and it
was just in the damn middle of the test
right in the negative space.
And out loud my brain,
I actually out loud said "I'm an idiot"
and I'm like oh that's the premise.
- That's the whole idea.
- That's the whole idea and so
I just did it so much and
I've always been very,
my comedy's always been
very much trying to find
logic flaws in people's
brain and how they think
and I'll, in crowd work I'll
make fun of people that way
and my bits it's always about
what is society doing wrong?
What do people do that just, they could be
making smarter choices.
That's exactly what the show is.
It's one of the few game
shows that's not trivia
it's just how your brain works.
You don't have to know anything,
you just have to have a good brain.
- That's true.
- I've got a pretty good one.
- You do, it's like brand
new it hasn't been used.
- Okay that's hurtful, it's
hurtful, it's very hurtful.
So I wish you could take it back.
- So you were recently on--
- Hold on do you want to take it
back before we move on?
You wanna take that back?
- Yes, no I love talking to you Ben,
and hanging out with you.
And it works out well.
It's been a long time that
we've known each other.
- Long time.
- How long, 12 years?
- Probably something like that.
- Is this the first time we've actually
done a Log together?
The show or the, no no no we did.
I found a couple little clips of one
time we were going to
Radio and we doing stuff.
- Yeah I was gonna say
we did it that one time.
- Yeah, yeah, but not officially the show
like I do now where it's a podcast.
- We didn't do it live I don't think.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Well it's great to be back on the Log.
- It is, and you have a podcast.
Tell everyone what it is.
- Last Week on Earth on Kevin
Smith's Smodcast network.
- Yup.
- And I summarize everything
that happened during
the last week on earth.
News, politics, pop culture, trends,
I have not done it in a few months.
- Mmhmm.
- But you guys have seven
years to catch up on so.
- Yeah there's a lot of episodes.
- I've had crazy guests,
I know you're booking
big timers like Ben Glieb and
Josh Wolf, great bookings.
- Correct.
- But I have had guests
like Bryan Cranston.
- Oh yeah.
- Bob Odenkirk.
- Very cool.
- Meghan McCain, Blake
Griffin, Moby, Kevin Smith,
Sophia Bush, Chris Delia,
I've had the gamut,
Adam Devine, Iliza Shlesinger,
you know we had them on.
- Yep, yep.
- And I do solo episodes a lot.
- Which is cool.
- I'm so lonely captain.
(laughs)
- Do you go to a studio to do it or
do you have your traveling little set up?
- Traveling setup, and I do
it from my house usually.
- Right.
- And I used to have an engineer,
I don't do that anymore.
I would like to maybe, I don't know,
I would like to maybe join
one of the big networks.
I'm on Smodcast with Kevin
Smith but I feel like
he would be fine with me taking it
to one that's maybe more
political or more news oriented.
- Yeah, yeah.
- And so we're gonna see what's up.
- So you've been doing stand
up now for how many years?
15?
- 19.
- 19 wow.
- My 19th year doing stand up.
- And tell me about the
first time you got on stage,
how did that work out?
- My first set on a stand up stage was
the L.A. Cabaret Theater.
It was an open mic in the Valley
I did a summer during college.
- What made you wanna just say
that you wanna do stand up?
- Oh I wanted to do it
since I was five years old.
- Okay.
- I knew I wanted to be
a comedian and a TV host.
- Yep.
- And an actor since I was five.
And so just a matter of time.
- What was it that actually
made you want that?
- I don't know, something
about entertaining people
always seemed like the most fun job,
it seemed very appealing. I
knew I would be good at it,
I was always good at making people laugh.
And it seemed like just,
your life would be fun
if you did that.
- Yep.
- I didn't realize how
much work it would be,
but it just seemed like a fun life.
- There's big difference though between
the guys in show biz that work at it
and the guys that just
show up and do their thing.
I mean you're creating new content,
you're out there, you're
getting the name out.
Which is why I think 19 years of career
has been a success right?
Some guys just literally
show up, call it a day
and that's it, they
don't do anything else.
- Yeah.
- I mean you're marketing,
you're out there.
- You're a one man corporation when
you do stand up these days.
- That's right, that's right.
- And so also I think
the thing that might be
that people don't realize
it's a 24/7 hustle,
don't sleep, and you have to
keep pushing at all times.
And the one thing that
also made my mind this
comedic and entertainment brain is that
my parents were always
real chill in this way.
I had a bedtime like any other kid,
but that just meant I had to go to bed.
I had a TV in my room with cable TV.
- Sure.
- And I never had to turn it off.
So I've been a night owl since I was five,
I was watching like SNL, Kids in the Hall,
and SCTV, and Johnny
Carson and David Letterman
since I was like seven or eight years old.
So it just made, I never
was that into cartoons.
- Yeah I wasn't either.
I was watching cooking and fishing shows.
- Oh were you?
- And I just never liked
cartoons just weren't my thing.
- This is why you own a
restaurant and you're a captain.
- I think so, yeah, yeah.
So I think that's does
play a big part right?
- That's good water.
- What is it?
The 105.5 The Beat water.
- Water 105.5 The Beat water.
(laughs)
- I thought you were drinking
some kind of really good--
- It's telling you what water is good for,
it goes birthdays, fundraisers,
for fun, sports events,
oh that's when water's helpful?
- Well we did just leave 105.5
The Beat on the Freak Show,
now we're going on Big
Mama and the WiLD Bunch.
Today, I was telling
you is Babs' last day,
I think it's a 10 year run.
- It's really sad, it's why I
flew in this particular week.
- It is, it is.
- Even though I don't know who Babs is.
- Yeah she's a sweetheart.
And she's done today.
She's moving to Tampa,
but we'll stay in touch.
- Oh really?
- And I'll let you do her show.
- On the radio, that's nice of her.
- Yes, she's got a new
show so I'll introduce you,
and then you can do her show in Tampa.
- Oh that's nice.
- I'm doing the work of the Lord here.
- You're doing the Lord's work.
- I'm making connections you know?
- Yeah that's really sweet.
- I'm making it hap'n, cap'n.
That's what I like to say.
- Oh making it hap'n cap'n,
do you spell happen
with an apostrophe too?
- Yeah a little bit.
- H-A-P apostrophe N?
- No I don't.
- You should.
- I should.
- Making it hap'n cap'n.
- I should say that.
- Trust me dude.
- Dude wonder why you're
the host of the Idiotest.
- I'm very good with
acronyms and abbreviations,
they've said that about me since day--
- Good grammar?
- Grammar?
- Yeah when you do it?
- I have country grammar.
(laughs)
I'm not the best at grammar,
especially in Spanish.
In Spanish can't conjugate
a verb too well though.
- No.
- People think I'm doing shit in the past.
- Yeah it comes out that way.
It does.
- I get it.
- It really does.
So we're doing shows at Off The Hook.
- Tonight through Sunday.
- Tonight you have one
show at seven o'clock.
- Yep.
- And then two on Friday, two on Saturday,
one on Sunday.
- Yep.
- How's the travel work out for you?
You've been doing this for a long time,
do you just want to
stay home certain weeks,
or are you still every week hit the road?
- No I don't hit every route every week.
I'm not a road dog in the
way like some of the guys
that do 45 weeks a year.
- Right.
- I do like 20 to 25 weeks.
- And you're happy with that?
- Very happy with it.
- Because you're doing shows and you're
creating new pilots.
- I do TV stuff, I just did an episode of
Late Late Show with James Corden.
- He seems really cool, I haven't met him.
- He's cool, he's great.
- Jimmy Fallon I've met a few times,
James Corden I'm a fan.
- Jimmy Fallon is absolutely incredible.
- Yeah.
- I'm so excited to meet
Captain Brien oh my God.
It's just so exciting,
you're the greatest.
- He showed up for a gig without a guitar,
we walked into Guitar
Center and they're like
dude it's Jimmy Fallon,
he signed four guitars and they're like
take them all.
- What?
- He signed guitars on the wall.
- They gave him free guitars?
- To use, yeah.
- To use.
- They're like give it back.
- Damn.
- He kept one.
- That's cool.
- Pretty dope though.
- What is that a buffalo over there?
The fuck is that?
- I don't know.
- Is that a bull?
- Just another day in Florida.
- Jesus.
- That's how it is.
- It's gonna get eaten by a 'gator.
- So James Corden, yeah?
- Corden, and then I just did a cameo in
Jay and Silent Bob reboot movie,
as a half Jay half Silent Bob hybrid.
- Jay was here and we did
the show, that was cool.
- Was that fun?
- Yeah, yeah really good.
- That cool yeah. His wife
Jordan is the best, dude.
- She was intricately
involved in helping him out
with the stuff.
- Yeah she's a killer producer.
She produced the whole movie too.
- Really?
- Yeah the whole Jay and Silent Bob movie.
- Damn I didn't know that.
What do you like better,
the stand up aspect
or the TV and behind the scenes stuff?
For me it would be maybe getting the deal,
raising the funds, getting the money.
You do some of that too still.
- I do some of that too.
- You hustle that stuff too.
- Yeah I'm a good
producer, I do not like it.
I do it out of necessity.
- Right.
- It's hard to find good
producers out there,
so if you have the skills
you got to do it sometimes
yourself if you want the job done.
- And if you want it done right
and you wanna get it out
there you gotta do it.
- 100%. But I don't love
to do that, I wish I didn't
have to do that part, but I'm happy to do
it when I need to.
But out of on camera TV stuff
and stand up it's just two equal loves.
It's hard to choose
because I love stand up,
it's the most pure it's
just you and the audience.
- Yeah.
- It's your thoughts no editing.
But I love the amount of people you reach
much more easily with TV,
I love collaborating, I
love being part of a team
and it just feels incredibly exciting
when you are part of a
show and there's lights
and there's an audience that's there,
and they're excited and that's
the ultimate dream in some way.
So it's hard to choose.
It's like we're not shooting new
episodes of Idiotest right
now and I miss it so much.
I wanna get back in that studio.
- You miss the fact that
you're not on the camera
or you miss the excitement of the show?
What is it, which is the
part that you miss the most?
- It's just all of that.
- Could it be any show or do you
just love that show so much?
- I love that show,
I think it was particularly
very well suited for my skills,
but it's just having a show
that I'm at the helm of,
it's very exciting for me.
I love pressure.
- Yeah.
- A lot of people don't like pressure.
I need pressure, I love that
there's millions of dollars
riding on my shoulders.
- How much pressure you
think Henry Horse is under?
- Henry Horse is exhausted
from traveling so much.
- Henry Horse, he tapped out after he took
a little dookie on the
floor at 105.5 The Beat.
- And the DJ stepped in it and
crushed it into the carpet.
- Yeah I smelled it in
the middle of our picture
episode and I was like
why is it really smell
funky right now?
- Oh dammit.
- And I was like I think
someone turded on the floor,
and I'm pretty sure it wasn't
one of the humans in the room.
- Not ideal.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Pretty sure it's not one of the humans.
That was good, that's what you use
your captains intuition is for.
- It's what it was, I did.
- Yeah that's really good.
- I really dug deep for that one.
(laughs)
- Pun intended.
Yeah I just love it, I
love when people invest
millions of dollars and
trust that I'm gonna
be able to deliver.
- Yep.
- I'm at my absolute top game.
It's like the bigger, even with stand up,
the bigger the venue the better.
I bring my all to every single show
even if it's in front of 30 people
in a workout room, but you can't help but
something when you're
in a big room just gets
adrenaline pumping in a whole new way.
I could just play at
Howie Mandel's Comedy Club
in Atlantic City, I walk
in and it's 1,200 seats.
- Really?
- And I just feel like more of a star,
you have to step up 'cause you're like
wow this is a big old stage right here.
- So they still call it
Howie Mandel Comedy Club?
- Yeah.
- It's 1,200 seats?
- Yeah, well they're
not filling those seats
and they close the back
with a curtain but,
you know, I was getting
like 400, 450 people a show.
- That's a good crowd.
- Not bad.
- Big crowd.
- Yeah it felt huge.
- Right.
- It was really nice and just huge tall,
normally you don't want
tall ceilings in comedy,
but this room was fine.
- Yeah.
- When it's a big old
arena vibe you don't mind.
- Right, right, exactly.
- I love doing arenas.
- Yep.
- I'm very lucky that I
got to have the experience
of playing arenas
'cause most comedians
will never have that.
- Right?
- But with Dane Cook and Chelsea Handler
I got to open for them.
- That's right.
- And play up to 12,000 people a night.
- You still talk to Chelsea?
- Still talk to Chelsea yeah.
- Yeah?
How's she doing?
- She's great, I just
pulled off a big event
back in November.
- Does she know I'm single yet?
- You know that's a good question,
you two would actually
be kinda good together.
- Yeah, she should, yeah.
- I could see you two being good together.
- Yeah.
- She likes business people.
- She does?
- Yeah, and I'm sure she
would not mind that you
have your own vodka line either.
- That true.
- She would not mind that fact.
- We could create one for her.
- Oh that's an idea, why
hasn't she done that yet?
- 'Cause she hasn't hooked up with me yet.
- Chelsea Handler Knockout Vodka.
- She has--
- It knocks you straight out.
That girl drinks man.
- Yeah I know.
- That girl likes to party,
I love that about her.
- She's be a good endorser of the product.
- She's just incredible man.
I had a really fun experience one time,
I take it back, a terrible experience
but it's a fun story that
I sometimes tell on stage,
you're about to go onto
that car right there.
- Yeah.
- I trust you but you
said you may be nervous.
- I like to keep it on
the edge on the Log.
I want you to walk the
plank if you have to.
- I like that, are you a
captain or are you a pirate?
- I'm a captain.
- Okay.
- I'm a captain, I run the ship.
- Okay, fair enough.
So I was, we're flying
back from Philadelphia,
after doing a big arena
in Pennsylvania with
Chelsea and jet, she runs a private jet,
and we were drinking
vodka on the airplane,
and we were drunk and Chelsea says to me,
there's six of us on the
airplane, open cockpit,
we see the pilot and the copilot there,
and she says, "Ben why
don't you go an see if
"the copilot will give you a blowjob?"
- Okay.
- And I was like hard pass,
thank you so much for the offer.
- Was is a guy or girl?
- It was a guy.
- Okay.
- And so I was like no not
interested thank you so much,
and then she goes come
on it'll be hilarious.
And I was drunk and I'm like alright.
So I go into the cockpit of an airplane
flying what 25,000 feet in the air.
- Yeah, no big deal, typically normal.
- Yeah and I'm watching,
I'm in the cockpit
and I say to the copilot dude
this is gonna sound weird
but Chelsea thought it
would be funny if you
gave me a blow job.
Obviously I don't want you to do that but
if you just kinda bobbed
your head up and down
it'll be pretty funny.
- Yeah.
- And he goes "I'm flying a plane."
(laughs)
- To which I replied no you're not.
He's flying the plane.
- You're just watching.
- You're not doing shit right now.
And he was like, fair and he starts
bobbing his head up and down and
it was instantly the
worst moment of my life.
- So you finished.
(laughs)
- Instantly the worst moment of my life,
made only worse a moment later by I then
turned back to see the reaction
and no one's paying attention anymore.
I had him mime a blowjob on
me for no reason whatsoever.
- The joke was over and
you were still okay, okay.
(laughs)
- Worst moment of my life.
- Guys we gotta end on that one.
No one's miming any head on this show.
This is The Captain's Log,
my guest Ben Glieb you can see him at
Off The Hook Comedy Club
all weekend, don't miss it.
Get tickets offthehookcomedy.com
and like, share.
If you like this podcast share it dammit
and also we're five stars
on iTunes now that's good.
- Please don't cuss though.
You're saying dammit's not nice,
they're kids watching.
- Okay well we apologize.
