MATT: Hello, and welcome this evening to Critical
Role, everyone. A show where a bunch of us
nerdy-ass voice actors play Dungeons and Dragons
and have a good time. Guess we can go ahead and--
we forgot to do the format this time and start
with the intro. We trying to do that going forward
because it makes more sense. But for now, let's go
ahead and jump to the intro and we'll be right
back to describe what we have going on.
[dramatic music]
MATT: Welcome back. So first and foremost, we got
a couple quick announcements to get into for this
week. For every 100 subs we get to the channel
this evening we'll be doing giveaways. The
giveaways this week will include a signed photo of
the cast of Critical Role, as well as, for the
first time offering, a large print poster of one
of the classic moments within our campaign drawn
by our illustrious Kit Buss, our official artist
for Critical Role. I think Zac should be showing
you that photo that we'll be giving away, a really
nice, high-quality print of that signed by the
cast. And we'll send that out to whoever wins the
wonderful prize for the chat room. I think we're
50 away from our first giveaway. So, you got to
get that climbing so we can give that out shortly.
Also, as we've previously, the past two weeks, had
some great guests joining our first half of the
Vox Machina group on their adventure, this week we
have two new guests joining us for this and next
week. If I can have a big, warm welcome to our
players this week: Wil Wheaton and Will Friedle.
Thank you guys so much for joining us. Excited to
have you.
MARISHA: So awesome.
WILL: Slightly nervous.
WIL: You're going to be great, don't worry about
it. I want to apologize in advance to Liam for
having to share a table with me. I'm sorry for
what's going to happen to your dice on account of
how close we are to each other. I hope you're not
too attached to anything
with your character at all.
(laughter)
WIL: I know. I'm just telling you, if there's dice
you really love, you might want to put them away.
LIAM: I'll just kiester this one.
MATT: That's the most comfortable way to do that.
Well, awesome guys. Thank you so much for joining
us in this. Before we jump in, let's see if we
have any announcements that anyone wants to make,
anything coming up, anything you want to talk
about. I'll start. I'll say that as of flying out
this evening, I should say, I have a flight at
12:15 from LAX. I'll be flying out to Columbus,
Ohio for Matsuricon this weekend. So, any of you
guys out there in the Ohio area want to come and
visit me for the weekend, I'll be doing signings,
panels, and general hanging out with fans and
stuff. So if you're in the vicinity, come say hi.
That's my announcement. Anyone else have anything
they want to mention?
ORION: Yeah. I recently started my own Twitch
stream. So you can follow me and watch. I play a
lot of video games, guys. It's horrible addiction
that's amazing. But it's @orionacaba on Twitch.
MATT: You keep streaming Thursdays at 7:00, which
I think is really counterproductive.
ORION: It's weird.
WIL: When you've mastered being in two places at
once, it's silly not to take advantage of it.
ORION: I am actually hosting Geek and Sundry on my
channel right now.
MATT: Oh, look at you.
LIAM: Are you simultaneously brewing at home right
now?
WIL: I am. And I am also running this game in
an alternate universe.
LIAM: Oh. Wow.
WIL: It's pretty great. Yeah. And Matt rolls so
bad in that game. It's really great. I am having
dinner with my wife tomorrow so I'm looking
forward to that. We're probably going to put a
whole chicken in the smoker in the afternoon and
then I think we're going to play some games. I'm
introducing her to a game that I got at Gen Con
called Lanterns.
MARISHA: Lanterns?
WIL: Yeah, really fun Dom Lux game. Really like it
a lot.
MARISHA: We'll have to check that out.
WILL: I, after four lovely years, popped the
question last week.
MATT: Yes, you did.
WILL: And I am engaged to be married. Yes.
(cheering)
WILL: Thank you very much.
MATT: I would say Susan's a very lucky girl, but
really, it's the other way around.
WILL: No, I'm the lucky one. I lucked out. I
really was the one who lucked out.
LIAM: Does she know or is this the proposal?
WILL: I was going to propose like this, but we
live in the woods and we don't get this show
there. We have no internet whatsoever. No, she
knows. She knows. She stupidly said yes, so we'll
see what happens next.
WIL: If you need an entree into the Society of Men
Who Married Way Above Their Stations, I can
provide you an introduction.
WILL: Thank you. (laughs) That's awesome. Yes,
that is absolutely what happened here, so I will
need that.
WIL: Yeah, they're members-only jackets.
MARISHA: Members-only jackets.
WIL: The sleeves are little too short on all of
the jackets, so we remember.
WILL: That's perfect. I like that.
MATT: A lot of suede.
WILL and WIL: Yeah.
(laughter)
WIL: And a nylon hood zipped into the neck, for
some reason.
MATT: Which no one ever uses, and you forget it's
there until you're like, "What's that? Oh, right."
Congratulations.
WILL: Thank you. You are the first to know that
that's happened.
MATT: There you go. Exclusive. Critical Role
exclusive. Well, fantastic. Let's go ahead and
jump into where we left off.
WIL: I thought I just heard you say you need a
pencil.
ORION: Yeah, I do.
WILL: That's what happens when you're in multiple
places at once. The realities start blending.
WILL: I'll share, if you'd like.
ORION: Thank you.
MATT: Anyone else need a pencil? Everyone good?
WILL: That was a good throw and catch.
WIL: I have a mechanical pencil that looks like a
pencil pencil.
WILL: I think I have the same kind of pencil.
WIL: Yeah, it's nice.
MARISHA: We do the hand-eye coordination thing.
MATT: All righty, guys. As it currently stands,
Vox Machina throughout its ventures found itself
in the city of Vasselheim, as of late. They came
to seal away the Horn of Orcus they had tore from
the head of the beholder K'Varn deep in the
Underdark. Once they had completed this journey,
they spent some time in the city trying to figure
out what can be done there, preparation for
possibly Keyleth making a venture out to one of her
Ashari tribes. During which, Grog entered a fight
ring and lost. And the party decided to go ahead
and--
MARISHA: Never forget.
MATT: I have a feeling Kern and Grog are going to
have a round two in the near future, depending on
how Grog's feeling about that. Then the party saw
that there was some sort of hydra-like being that had
been harrying the walls of the outskirts of the
city of Vasselheim. Being the adventurers they
are, they took it upon themselves to leap out into
the jungles and the forests of the Vesper
Timberland. Found and hunted down this hydra,
fought it, and upon slaying it, discovered there
was another group also hunting this hydra. An
actually sanctioned group. And that hunting this
hydra is considered illegal in 
Vasselheim unless you had actually been contracted to
do so. So in breaking the laws of Vasselheim, they
could have been tried for it, but instead chose to
return to the city with this group of hunters and
be brought before their guildmaster, the
Huntmaster known as Huntmaster Vanessa Cyndrial.
Basically, they were given the choice: they could
go to trial or they could undergo their own
personal trial to join the guild, the Slayer's
Take, which is essentially a guild that takes on
contracts to hunt various requested creatures
down, harvest elements of their physical bodies to
then be sold or returned to these individuals and
be paid for it. If they manage to complete these
trials, they will be absolved of breaking the law
because they will now be within the confines of it
and will be members of the guild. So choosing
that, they were then also notified that they would
be splitting up into two different groups, much to
the chagrin of Vex and Vax, our twins.
WILL: Split apart.
LIAM: Separation anxiety is a real thing.
MATT: So this group, the second adventuring group,
has gathered itself back to the Bellows' Respite
inn. Vax, you were asked to go the bar, to join
your sister, Vex, for a shot of the hardest liquor
they had available to deal with the coming
separation. You shared a brief breakfast, shared
your bitter, spiteful, alcoholic imbibement, and
then went your separate ways. The first group went
initially, and it's been about an hour or so of
you guys waiting in the tavern for them to, as far
as you know, take care of their business before you
were to go to the guild yourselves. So, we have
Tiberius, Keyleth, and Vax all sitting around the
Bellows' Respite tavern lamenting what's going to
come next.
ORION: Oh, cheer up, Vax. She'll be back soon.
I've never seen you quite so down.
MARISHA: I've been separated from my parents for a
really long time. You get used to it.
It's not too bad.
LIAM: It took you years to do that. I'm two
minutes in, so I'll grieve a little bit longer.
MARISHA: Don't say the word grieve. That's
strong.
ORION: Yes, it's implying that someone has died.
And no one has. So, you know.
MARISHA: It's only a few days. It'll be good.
Separation makes the heart grow fonder and all
that stuff.
LIAM: It's fine. I just have a low tolerance for
bullshit, and I'd like to get past this little
piece of shit that we're being made to swallow.
ORION: I agree. Stormwinds should not be meddling
around with these peasants. Are we in a tavern?
MATT: You are currently in the Bellows' Respite
Tavern.
ORION: Barkeep, bring me your finest ale for my
friend here and for the lady. I'll take a water.
MATT: The relatively jovial, ginger-bearded,
rotund human gentleman who runs the establishment
comes over to you. Looks like himself is a little
bleary-eyed and hasn't quite adjusted to the
morning light itself. "Oh okay. Certainly, I'll go
ahead and retrieve that for you. It's three? Three
"is what I'm looking at?"
MARISHA: What time is it?
MATT: Right now, I'd say it's roughly 9:00 to
10:00 in the morning.
MARISHA: Oh sure. Let's start early. Why not?
ORION: And I flip him a couple of gold coins.
MATT: He tries to catch it, fumbles. Goes and pick
it up.
MARISHA: Don't throw. That's rude.
MATT: Five minutes go by. Your food and drink are
brought to your table, and you continue to lament
about the coming time. Is there anything else you
guys wish to take care of before you make
your way to the Slayer's Take Guildhall?
MARISHA: Well, since we're getting separated, Grog
is taking the Bag of Holding.
ORION: I have one; don't forget that.
MARISHA: Right, but we had a lot of stuff in that
Bag of Holding. I kept most of the stuff that I
needed on me, but how many healing potions do we
have?
LIAM: Not a lot. That's what I'm concerned about.
We lost our meat shield and we don't have Pike. So
I think we probably need to go and get some
potions.
MARISHA: I can go ahead and brush up on healing
spells, as well. Make sure I come a little bit
more well-equipped, just in case.
ORION: I'm good on potions, but we should restock
our supply.
LIAM: How many have you got?
ORION: I have, let me see here, three potions of
greater healing, and three
regular potions of healing.
LIAM: Can I have one?
ORION: I suppose. If we're just going to buy more,
it doesn't matter. But just in case something
happens along the way.
LIAM: Thank you.
MARISHA: I only have one greater healing potion
right now.
ORION: Yes, so we'll go buy more. And then we'll
see what else they have. I would like to see if we
can procure a couple of items, like a couple of
empty vials. I've used a lot of mine. Maybe find
some acid or whatnot at these item shops. So let's
look around and get the stuff.
MARISHA: Okay.
MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make an investigation
check.
MARISHA: Apparently we have the flying carpet?
LIAM: Do we have the flying carpet?
MATT: The flying carpet is, for the most part,
kept wrapped up in Grog's Bag of Holding.
MARISHA: Because I think Grog was checking out.
He's breaking up a little bit. But I feel like he
just told me that we took the flying carpet.
LIAM: (imitating Grog) We took the flying carpet.
Sorry.
MARISHA: He's very far away, but I feel it's
reaching its limits.
LIAM: (imitating Grog) I would like to bogart the
flying carpet and everything in the fucking Bag.
MARISHA: He apparently left us with the flying
carpet?
ORION: He's saying he left with the flying carpet,
Keyleth. He left with it. We don't have it.
MARISHA: He said, remember, you took the flying
carpet. To break RP for a second.
LIAM: (imitating Grog) Am I texting you that right
now?
MARISHA: Yeah. I can't. You're cutting out. You're
cutting out, Grog.
ORION: I held it for a time, but I only have my
Wheel of Mending in mine, as far as I know. Hold
on, let me check.
MATT: As you reach into your Bag of Holding--
ORION: I'm thinking really hard.
MATT: Through the luck of the draw, it seems to be
that the last resting place of the flying carpet
was within your Bag of Holding.
ORION: Hold on. Oh here it is.
MARISHA: Oh, look at that. We have it.
ORION: Shut my mouth. I guess I was wrong.
MARISHA: Found it. We're good.
LIAM: All right, let's go to the store. I don't
really want to drag this out any longer than we
have to. And I walk out the door and start going.
MATT: Okay. What did you roll for your
investigation check, Tiberius?
ORION: 16.
MATT: 16? Okay. As you guys take the next 20
minutes wandering the Quad Roads district of
Vasselheim, asking around. A lot of the shops here
offer general supplies. There are a few that are
focused on the mining supplies as there is a large
market mining cobalt out of the center of the
mountain the city is built around. You find places
that provide clockwork for large grandfather
clocks that are starting to be distributed in this part of
the city. You also find that there is a large
bazaar-type market in the center of the Quad Roads
that you passed by when you first came to town.
Amongst many of these barkers, you do catch one
small tent, Tiberius, that catches your eye
because it resembles the same purple color as one
tent you guys entered in Emon about a year or so
ago, in which you encountered a fortune teller.
MARISHA: Oh shit! It's the Witch's Fortune. What
are you looking for?
LIAM: Look at those fingers fly.
ORION: I approach.
MARISHA: Do you know her name? Remember her name?
I can probably find it. It would take a minute of
digging, through. Hang on. I've got to go back to my
old notes. I've got to go back to my old D&D
notes. Keep doing stuff.
MATT: So as you enter the tent, you pull the
curtains apart. There is one other individual who
seems to be just perusing the interior. But the
smell that hits you immediately is very heavy
sage, ceremonial burning of various spices, giving
the area a mystical scent. The light itself is
very low, just a few flickering candles and a
hooded lantern in the far corner directed outward
give a bit of ambiance to the interior of the
tent. The series of small ropes and cords made of
hemp and silk carry trinkets and bones and various
enchanted accoutrements. And in the far back
corner, amongst the table there is indeed a very
beautiful elven woman dressed in a fine silk gown
with a metallic headband, her dirty blonde hair
behind her ears. And she looks to be in the middle
of shuffling a deck of tarot cards. As you enter,
she looks up and gives you a look of surprise and
then a curious look of remembrance.
MARISHA: Am I with him?
MATT: You're behind him and outside of the tent.
He entered. Did you guys want to go in with him?
LIAM and MARISHA: Yes.
MATT: All right, you enter and are greeted by this
same atmosphere.
MARISHA: (gasps) Trista!
MATT: She gives you a cross look.
MARISHA: It's been so long! Fancy meeting you
here.
MATT: She puts her finger up for a second, turns
over to the noblewoman who is currently perusing
this small shelf of books and tomes. "I'm terribly
sorry. Would you mind just giving us a moment?
"I've some personal business to attend to."
The noble woman is like, "Oh, fine. I didn't want
to purchase anything anyway." And stomps out of
the tent. The door closes behind her.
At which point the elven woman immediately turns.
"Trista's my sister."
MARISHA: You're Forsythia?
MATT: "It's good to see you again, young
half-elf." You can see now with the current
atmosphere, the light seems to dim the interior of
the tent. And the elven woman's visage shimmers
and then fades and there sitting behind the table
you see a large, hunched forward, gnarled
humanoid. This woman, who is definitively referred
to as a hag, is currently
lording over the table, long, twisted fingers
holding that same deck of cards. Looking up at you
with a crooked nose and pointed chin. There's a
grin on her face. And looks to you and, "It has
"been some time, dragonborn. I can still see there
is a fraction of you still missing."
ORION: Yes. I still don't know what that means.
But I am actually happy to see you, milady.
MATT: Still shuffling her cards. "So was there
anything I can help you with?"
ORION: Yes. Yes, there is. You mentioned before,
when I asked you last, of the Boros Ring. You
revealed that it was in the Fey, the Wild Fen. I
am also in search of the item that I did not get
to ask you about called the Pale Stone. I wish to
know the location of that, as well.
MATT: She gives you a keen look. "I think for the
time being, one quest is enough. Return when you've
"procured this ring you so graciously seek, then
perhaps the rest of this will be revealed. Grow
"greedy with fate and I fear the timeline will
swallow you up, young dragonblood." She pulls the
cards down and just starts going over her own
reading. Each card she slams down with a heavy
thud. The room seems to almost cloud, the air
growing thicker. And there's a hint of frustration
that she's currently being bothered and strung
out. After she takes a few moments to herself, she
looks back you. "Is there business you seek, aside
from asking me these questions? Perhaps a bauble
"or two. I make fine baubles."
ORION: Since you're not in the business of
information, then we are in the business of
procuring some specific items. Potions. I'm
looking for a few empty glass vials. Perhaps some
acid, if you have it.
MATT: She stands up. And as she stands up, you can
now see the hag, which hunched forward, sits at a
solid five feet tall. At full height, even with
the hunch, she's now cresting the top of the tent
at seven feet. Long, stringy, gray-black hair
framing the shoulders. The same nice goldish silk
outfit the elf appearance was wearing is there. It
looks much more world-tattered and matches the one
currently wearing it. She reaches behind her,
still staring you intently in the face, and grabs
a small case off the wall. Sets it down before
her. Pulls back the wooden lid and inside, you can
see there are three small glass vials. "These are
what I have to offer. Two of them will right your
"physical form, perhaps take care of some of those
wounds someone as foolish and careless as you
"eventually deal with. The third one is caustic in its
nature. Its application is up to you. They are
"sold as a set, though. 300 gold pieces. Take it or
leave."
ORION: You don't have to be all nasty about it. I
have the money. Here you go.
MATT: She reaches over and as you hold the small
bag of coin out, her hand completely engulfs
yours. The fingers wrap around, and for a second
you feel a tug. And you are awkwardly pulled
forward a few inches. You get closer to her face.
The breath catches your nostrils, the scent of
swamp water and old fish. It's a moment of
intensity where you forget your surroundings for a
brief moment. And it's just you and this entity.
And you realize, she's far older than you ever
gave her credit for. She pulls the bag of coin
from your hand and withdraws. The light seems to
return from the peripheral of your vision. Keyleth
and Vax are there at your side. She reaches
forward and pushes the box forward toward you on
the table. "Be safe, and may fortune smile upon
"most of you."
ORION: Yes, I know something bad is going to
happen. I show them the box. I take it and pick it
up. This is all she had to offer. She's not taking
questions.
MARISHA: You're not taking any questions right
now?
MATT: "Not today."
MARISHA: Not today?
MATT: "As you know, my dealings with fate take a
lot out of me. I'm not quite ready for another
"round of tellings. You see, this city, as most
bits of civilization, are very eager to hear what
"the future has in store for them. So I'm a bit
tapped out at the moment." And you can see a
bit of dried blood around one of her nostrils. And
if you recall last time, the process was very
physically taxing on her. "Perhaps return in a
week or so. And if I'm not here, I'm around."
LIAM: Old one, are you still willing to trade
today?
MATT: "Trade?"
LIAM: I'm wondering if you have any poisons beyond
the run-of-the-mill nightshades
this afternoon or morning?
MATT: She stands up and reaches over, and there's
a small alchemical glassware set up on the side.
And you see it's cracked and old and it's been
brutalized. And she pulls a very small vial of
some dark, black, almost umbra-type liquid where
you can't even see shine in the light. It absorbs all
the light. She puts it forward. "This would be
very unfortunate to find its way into the
"bloodstream of an enemy, yes?"
LIAM: What do you want for it?
MATT: "A favor. Not now, but perhaps down the
road."
ORION: She does that, Vax. A lot.
LIAM: Why not?
MATT: She pushes it forward with her long, crooked
fingernail, shoves the vial forward. It screeches
across the top of the table. She withdraws her
hand. "So it is done." At that moment, there's a
very a cold shiver down the back of your neck that
then fades. She just grins with this nasty, toothy
grin. "Now, be on your way. I have cards to
shuffle."
LIAM: Yoink.
MARISHA: It was so nice to see a familiar face in
such a strange place. She's lovely.
ORION: Yes. Good day, madam.
MATT: As you step out, she raises her hand in
front of her and her form once again shimmers and
shifts down to that beautiful elven maiden that
greeted you as you entered. The lights tend to
blossom a little bit and you close the tent behind
you.
LIAM: As we're leaving, I say, that's a good look.
MATT: Gives a slight breathy chuckle that starts
beautiful. (chuckle turns into a cackle)
ORION: What did we actually get?
MATT: You acquired two potions of greater healing,
and a vial of caustic liquid. You are uncertain as
to what its properties are.
MARISHA: Caustic liquid.
MATT: You also don't quite know the properties of
yours, but you gather, the assurance from a
creature of this power, that she speaks in
riddles, but not in untruths.
ORION: I'm going to give you another one of the
greater potions. So mark that down.
LIAM: Thank you. We're right in the middle of the
bazaar. Do we want to take a quick jog around? I
grab someone passing by and say, you, potions?
Where? Here?
MATT: The person looks down at your arm, brushes
it off, and the middle-aged gentleman goes,
"Sir, you do realize that most of the potion
trade is controlled by the clergy?"
MARISHA: They're all like no magic and stuff
here.
LIAM: I did not know that. Thank you. Well, shit.
MARISHA: Wait. Did he say that it was controlled
by the clergy?
ORION: So we should go there.
MARISHA: Hang on. Just because it is controlled by
the clergy doesn't mean that it's legal. Doesn't
mean that if we go knocking on their door
requesting potions that they're going to take
kindly to that. Kind of like getting your
concealed deadly
weapons license in certain places.
LIAM: I grab another weirdo passing by and say,
excuse me. There's probably a temple around here.
Can you point us in the right direction?
MATT: The individual looks at you awkwardly and
points over. And you can see just past the
outskirts of this bazaar, there are a number of
buildings that line the outer area of this central
portion. You can see where he is pointing, there
is a large cathedral made of almost, from this
distance, a warbling, warped obsidian, and it is
far more ominous and obelisk-like in appearance
than the other temples. In a district of the city
that you haven't been to yet. But it is the
closest temple.
WIL: Warbling Obsidian is my Black Crowes cover
band.
LIAM: I'm getting itchy. Can we just go to the
Take please?
MARISHA: I turn and I lean into Tiberius and I
say, he's going to be cranky the entire time
we're on this field trip, isn't he?
ORION: Yes, and usually I'm the cranky one.
MARISHA: I know.
ORION: So let's head to the temple. Right? Yes?
MARISHA: I guess.
ORION: Can you turn into a horse?
MARISHA: Yes, but that's a little forward, don't
you think?
ORION: I'm just asking.
LIAM: Are we going to the temple or the Take?
ORION: Oh, the Take? What would make you feel
better?
LIAM: Let's get on with it, shall we? Jesus, 
whoever that is.
ORION: That was that one carpenter we met in in
Vasselheim.
LIAM: Oh, he was sweet. He had some good herb.
ORION: Yes, he did. He sure knew how to-- it was
dank.
MATT: "Dank," which is arcane terms for
"thaumaturgical." Anyway. You make your way to the
southern outskirts of this portion of the bazaar,
which leads its way into the central building
cluster portion of the Quad Roads district to the
outside of the Slayer's Take Guildhall. You walk
up to the main doorway which has the inscription
in front. And pushing the door open, you enter
into the main foyer area, where you see the same
cast-iron chandeliers hanging from the ceiling,
the dark wood rafters frame the entire internal
area. And there sitting at the central desk is
Mertin, the scarred-up halfling with the
relatively joyful disposition. He looks up from
his books. "Okay, it appears to me that we have
the other half of this adventuring group to deal
"with. Let us hope that perhaps you have better
luck than your previous friends in what has been
"chosen for you, eh?"
LIAM: They already headed out?
MATT: "Yes, they left not more than an hour ago, I
imagine."
MARISHA: And what were they contracted with?
MATT: "Oh, nothing. They're going to kill a
dragon. Would you like
"me to go get the mistress for you?"
LIAM: Excuse me?
MATT: "I'll take that as a yes. I'll be right
back."
And he gets up from his table and wanders off.
ORION: They'll be fine. I'm sure of it. Scanlan
makes good decisions all the time.
MATT: As you wait a few moments, eventually
Mertin returns. But he seems, his head down, a
little humbly, and gestures out with his hands.
And you hear the familiar footsteps of the
Huntmaster, Vanessa Cyndrial. Her tiefling
appearance both very striking in her chiseled bone
structure in her face, her dark leather armor
itself creaking slightly with each footstep. And
she has that very commanding yet welcoming
appearance, which you know hides a very
hard-to-read interior. She steps forward. "Well,
are you ready to take on the other half of this
"mission? Your friends were eager. And they
traveled with some of our finer warriors. Are you
"confident in your capabilities today?"
ORION: Listen, don't be smug with me. None of us
what to be here or cooperate with this stupid
event just to abide your laws.
MARISHA: Tiberius, we could be on trial.
ORION: The answer is yes. Let's get on with it.
MATT: "You see, it is very simple. I like it,
direct and to the point. I respect that."
ORION: Oh. Well, thank you.
MATT: "The angry, flowery part in the middle, not so
much a fan of. All right. So," she reaches behind
and pulls out what looks like a small, rolled-up
piece of parchment. Looks at it for a second.
"Well, you have one other hopeful for this guild
that will be joining you for this, and a leader
"will be assigned to you on this excursion to keep an eye
on you and make sure you stay within the rules and
"not go absconding to some other country and we
have to hunt you down."
LIAM: Fantastic.
ORION: Can we use the word liaison?
MATT: "A liaison, if you will. Mertin, would you
get the other hopeful for this?"
Mertin says, "Of course, my lady." He gets up, and
walks over, and knocks on a door. As you hear the
door knock on the opposite side of the room, opens
it up. And the red, tousled hair, halfling.
"Kashaw, your group has arrived."
WILL: Well, it's about time. I'm sick of waiting.
(sighs) He walks out and meets everybody.
MATT: As you guys look, the door opens, and a
human male steps out into the light. If you wish to
describe yourself.
WILL: I am Kashaw Vesh, an acolyte. Here I am,
waiting for you for so long now. Do I have to
travel with them the entire time?
MATT: "For the remainder of this contract at
least. But once you have joined the Guild, perhaps
"other groups will be assigned to you."
MARISHA: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, were we late? We
didn't mean to keep you waiting. Or do you mean
like, you've been waiting for us for a long time
in the destiny, "we're here and where have you
been my whole life" kind of way?
WILL: Is she always like this?
ORION: Yes, she is.
LIAM: Not good at reading emotions.
WILL: This is going to be fun. Yes. No, I meant
you're late.
MARISHA: Wait. Is that what people say about me?
LIAM: I don't.
MARISHA: We'll talk later.
WILL: Who are you?
LIAM: Vax'ildan.
ORION: I am Tiberius Stormwind.
WILL: A dragonborn.
LIAM: What's your thing? What do you do?
WILL: What I do is not really important. What I
want to get done, I think, is what matters. What I
want to do is start this quest. Is that what you
called it? Quest?
MATT: "It is a contract."
WILL: A contract, a job. Can we just get out
there, please, and do what we have to do?
MATT: "Very well."
LIAM: I agree. Let's hurry it up, Merkin. Shall
we?
WILL: That wasn't your name, was it?
MATT: "It's Mertin. Mertin is the name. But it's
okay."
LIAM: I'm not from these parts. It's my accent.
Sorry.
MATT: "I can hear accent from upbringing. It's
Syngornian use. It's fine. Mertin. Never mind." By
the way, the human that has walked out, you can
see has shoulder-length brown hair, a leather
cord that is tied around the center of the
forehead. Eyes two different colors. One I believe
is a light blue?
WILL: It's a light blue. One is a bright yellow.
And his right arm, all the way up from where you
can see where it disappears below the armor is
covered in one-inch cuts,
with scars all the way up.
ORION: Ah, a religious man.
WILL: Maybe.
MATT: Mertin goes over and knocks on a door, opens
it up. This individual is easy to hear from a
distance. The heavy footfalls and the grumbling
echoes through the hallways before he even
appears. Mertin leads you into the light of the
main foyer area. "This will be the group of which
"you will be guiding on this. I appreciate you
doing this for us. I know it's not really usually
"what you do. But here is your team for this
contract."
WIL: I'm sorry, where is the team?
MATT: "This is your team."
And Vanessa chuckles to herself. "I'm sorry. This
is what you'll be dealing with today."
MARISHA: Hi.
ORION: Hello, I'm Tiberius Stormwind.
MATT: "Now Thorbir, play nice."
MARISHA: What was that?
MATT: "Thorbir. Thorbir, play nice."
WIL: So he's a dwarf. He's a really stout dwarf.
He's got really a long, red beard that's singed off
in the lower right corner. The bottom of the top
part of his beard is braided and clamped off with
all these ornate things. He's got these big,
thick, ropey, white braids that come down on
either side of his face and frame his face. And
these have these really big Dwarven runes on them.
Do any of you speak Dwarven?
ORION: Yes.
MARISHA: No.
WILL: Yes.
WIL: All right, so for those of you who speak
Dwarven, this is a really offensive curse word in
Dwarven. And this one is an even more offensive
curse word in Dwarven. You don't say these in
friendly company. He's got a scar that
runs down across his face. And the eye that it
runs through is black. And his other eye is blue.
And you can see that he's got Dwarven script
written in tattoos all the way down his right
arm.
MATT: "So please, if you would not mind making
sure that they see their contract to fruition,
"taking them on this as you will, showing them the
ropes of the guild, and try not get them killed."
WIL: And for me?
MATT: "Well, you will be rewarded as per the
contract. You will have done the guild a great
"favor, which you know favors can go a very long
way in the guild."
WIL: I certainly do. You don't have to tell me
about repaying favors.
MATT: "Fair enough. Well, perhaps now would be a
good time for this jovial lot of adventurers to
"know what it is they are to hunt down."
WIL: Is it an actual group?
MATT: "Well, we'll see how well you can make it
into one. Perhaps this is a test for you as well,
"fair dwarf."
MARISHA: I think is going to be an excellent
bonding experience.
WILL: Seriously, the whole time she is like this?
ORION: Yes, she is. It grows on you, though.
WILL: I'm sure it does.
So does the plague.
MARISHA: Everyone has such a problem with
optimism.
MATT: She unravels it. Looks at it. "I think this
will do well for what is required. We will bind
"this contract to you now. Feel free to take over.
If you wouldn't mind reading, half-elf."
MARISHA: You know, public speaking is not really
my strong suit. Okay. Ordered and paid in advance
by anonymous.
ORION: Oh, they're a fun group.
MARISHA: This contract, binding in honor and the
elements, sets upon the agreed members of the
Slayer's Take Guildhall, and the task of locating
and slaying the below-mentioned entity, and the
recovery of the below-listed harvested anatomy
items. And any anatomy items not recovered or not
in functional condition will be deducted from the
final payment and refunded to the client. Oh. This
contract is good for three days and should the
contract not be fulfilled within that time period,
all payments are null and void, this contract is
null and void, and membership of the Slayer's Take
is revoked-- outside of the Huntmaster's willful
forgiveness.
LIAM: Skip to the punchline.
MARISHA: The quarry has been approved for hunting
by the Holy Paramours of the Crown of Erathis. The
quarry of one rakshasa. What's a rakshasa?
LIAM: Tiger man.
MARISHA: Tiger man?
LIAM: Essentially.
WILL: How do you know that?
LIAM: Storybooks in Syngorn.
MARISHA: We need two rakshasa eyes, one rakshasa
tongue, one rakshasa heart, two rakshasa claws,
and two rakshasa canine teeth. So canine.
ORION: Would this be an arcana or this be a
history check?
MATT: This would be more of an arcana check.
ORION: I'm going to do an arcana check. 18.
MATT: 18? Rakshasas were entities that originally
stemmed from the realm of the Nine Hells. They are
devils. They are deceptive, and usually embed
themselves in elements of society where they can
grasp and take power. They love having servitude
beneath them, and they are notoriously difficult
and slippery to find, let alone nail down and
destroy. Appearance-wise, they look like a normal
humanoid man, but have the face of a tiger, and
the other curious element is both of their hands
are reversed. That's as much as you can glean from
your formal training and understanding.
LIAM: Does this cat have a name?
MATT: "Why does it matter? All we know is we can
confirm that there is one within the vicinity,
"or huntable at the very least. The rest is
up to you to find."
MARISHA: The quarry is where it's been last
located? Oh, okay. Yeah, you double-check it. I
might have missed something.
WILL: Why can't we know who the client is?
MATT: "The client has decided they wish to remain
anonymous for this contract."
ORION: This seems to be bothering you, Kashaw.
WILL: Everything's been bothering me lately. She's
not helping. Do you want to read this?
ORION: It's going to say the same thing. Which
part?
WILL: Give me this. How far to the quarry?
MATT: "Your quarry is the creature."
WILL: You said it was in the vicinity. What are we
talking "in the vicinity?" Are we talking a day's
hike? We talking an hour from here?
MATT: "Meaning, we've been able to confirm that
there is one that is within a huntable distance
"within the three days of the contract. However,
part of this trial is to see just how good you are
"at finding and destroying such creatures, so that
information is for you to find, unless you do not
"feel your skills are up to par for the Slayer's
Take, in which case, you are more than welcome to
"go for the door, human."
LIAM: And you have no further information? Are
there any grumpkins you want us to find? Do you
expect us to go out with no information at all to
find a man with a tiger's head?
MATT: "Well, you seem like a well-traveled unit.
You seem to have done well enough to find and
"destroy great things you spoke of as you walked
into these halls. Prove to me that you are more
"than just sell-swords. Show to me that you have
the intellect, that you have the skill sets, that
"you have the cleverness to find the creature that
does not wish to be found."
LIAM: Is this how things normally go around here?
WIL: Normally, I don't waste my time with the
likes of you. Man with a tiger's head is going to
stand out. No problem finding him. Let's stand
here and talk about this forever, or let's head
out and get this over with.
ORION: Well, dwarf, why don't you do your title and
lead then? And I should warn you, you are walking
with a Stormwind. You may not know my name, but I
can assure you, I alone am an army, so we are well
protected. So, lead us to find this tiger-man,
please.
WIL: Dragonborn is a lot of talk.
WILL: If he's an army, why not just send him out?
MARISHA: That was probably the ballsiest thing
you've ever said.
WIL: All right, Storm?
ORION: Wind. People call me Tibsy.
WIL: Let's see how good you are at following. And
he heads out.
LIAM: He's not very good. Oh, he's gone.
MATT: As the dwarf exits, and you guys follow.
Outside of the Slayer's Take into the center of
the main Quad Roads thoroughfare, on the outskirts
of the bazaar to seek a rakshasa, wherever one may
be found.
MARISHA: I thought this was going to be a fun
field trip.
ORION: Well, I mean "rakshasa" does sound fun.
Rakshasa!
MARISHA: It does. It is a tiger person, so maybe
we can relate.
WILL: I want to switch teams.
ORION: No, it gets better.
LIAM: What's your name again? I'm sorry.
WILL: I am Kashaw Vesh. Call me Brother Kash.
Everyone else does.
LIAM: Kash. Brother Kash, are you new to the
Guild, as well?
WILL: I'm not a member of the Guild yet. I had
something happen with someone who did something
and now I'm here. Why don't we leave it at that,
for now?
LIAM: That's how we got here.
WILL: Apparently, I only have to be here for
another three days, which will be good.
LIAM: All right.
WIL: I'm impatient. Perception 20. Is there
anything around that indicates where, which of
these four directions is the best direction to
go?
MATT: Knowing the city for the while that you've
been here, you know there are places of open
business that have a lot of traffic are also
good places to ask for if anyone has seen anything
that might match a certain description, or an
individual that you are seeking, any strange
behavior. And so you know that the center of the
Quad Roads where that bazaar is, is a good place
to start requesting information as you have
currently none at your disposal.
MARISHA: Just to get this clear, a rakshasa's not
a beast?
MATT: It's like a man.
WILL and ORION: It's a demon.
MATT: It's a demon creature that looks like a
man.
MARISHA: But it's not a beast, by definition?
MATT: No.
LIAM: I'm sorry. I'd like to make an insight check
on the dwarf, not to see if he is lying, but he
could be. Can I get a gut instinct into what his
deal is?
MATT: Go ahead and make an insight check.
LIAM: Three, but I'm going to use my Luck to try
that again. 18 plus two is 20.
MATT: Would you like to go ahead and roll a 20?
WIL: Yeah, that's a two. All right.
(laughter)
LIAM: Just reinforce the myth, man.
WIL: That's one better than I usually roll. I'd
say it's twice as good as I usually do.
MATT: Gruff exterior. There is definitely a
toughened past to him. He seems driven. Not
necessarily untrustworthy, per se, but definitely
a man of little patience and currently does not
seem to be too pleased with the fact that he's
essentially babysitting, in his mind.
LIAM: Is there a marshmallow center?
MATT: You may find out in due time. Yet that is
too hard to read at this moment.
WILL: If you're in the bazaar, do I have to be out
of the city to cast Locate Creature?
MATT: You can cast that anywhere you want to. Your
magic is divine. This is your city.
LIAM: And that's not just a descriptor, either.
WILL: Thank you. It's normally fabulous, but not
in this city. So then how do I go about casting
Locate Creature?
MATT: You can just tell me.
WILL: I'd like to go ahead and cast Locate
Creature.
MATT: All right, so as you guys are having this
discussion, you're having this weird stare-off and
considering where to go in the bazaar. You stop in
the nearby alley two buildings down from where the
Slayer's Take Guildhall is. And you begin just
taking a small dagger from your side and carving a
circle in the ground. Throw some runes down that
are specific to your patron. Take a moment and
concentrate on the description of this rakshasa.
Looking at the specifics of the spell to make sure
that I don't give you misinformation... Locate
Creature. Beautiful.
WILL: You guys have jazz hands.
ORION and WILL: Rakshasa.
MATT: You focus your mind for a second, and your
holy symbol begins to drift up from underneath
your armor. You instinctively take and slap it
down underneath, and then refocus your vision,
your eyes closed. And you can see what looks like
a pulsing energy, like a very dark flame.
Something that itself, you can already smell the
sulfur. You can smell the lineage, the devil
lineage that this entity is. And there is indeed
one not too terribly far from where you currently are.
It's faint, which means that it is on the
outskirts. And you know this lasts for a good
thousand feet or so. But it does give you a
northeastern direction. And the spell fades.
MARISHA: Northeastern direction.
WILL: We should go northeast. It is also
unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how
you look at it, closer than we thought.
LIAM: In the walls of the city?
WILL: Not in the walls, but very close to them.
MARISHA: Do we have any type of plan of attack?
Does anyone know how to fight these things? Any
earthly clue?
WILL: Leader boy?
MARISHA: Leader boy?
WIL: I'm sorry, are you talking to me?
ORION: Thorbir is what they meant to say.
WILL: Listen to Stormfather over here.
MARISHA: I take my social cues from other people. I'm
sorry.
WIL: In my experience, there has not been a
problem invented
that can't be solved with an axe.
ORION: That's true. We've seen that.
WILL: Wonderfully helpful. Thank you.
WIL: You're welcome.
LIAM: Follow the axe.
WIL: Now what I want you to do is imagine an 
hourglass. You got that? Good picture of an hourglass
in your heads? See all that sand draining out?
Let's get a move on.
ORION: Okay. What am I doing with this sand?
MARISHA: I agree with that. Are we supposed to do
something with the sand?
WIL: Yeah, count it.
MARISHA: Oh, that would take so long. Can we
tag-team this?
WIL: She always like this?
ORION: Yes.
WILL: Stormcloud's counting sand. I don't know
what she's doing over here. Northeast. How about
let's start walking that way and see what happens? Can
we give that a shot?
ORION: I agree. You did the fancy spell.
WILL: It's not as fancy as you might think.
WIL: I've pulled my axe out and I'm sort of
holding it like a walking stick. And just very
deliberately, very demonstratively walking ahead
in that direction.
MATT: With each footfall, you know that what was
once, probably hundreds of years ago, a nice
cobblestone roadway in the center of the city has
been slowly hit with mud, dirt, snow, sleet, and
so each step is a slight moisture with each
footfall.
ORION: I'm assuming there's no stables around.
MATT: Not immediately, those are usually to the
very outside of the city.
LIAM: Why are you jonesing for a horse?
ORION: So I don't get all dirty.
MATT: Thorbir, leading forward in the northeastern
direction that was given by Brother Kash,
eventually brings you around the side of the
bazaar. And you can now see why it's called the
Quad Roads, there are two main roads that meet
right where the bazaar occurs and then they spread
off into the other sections of the city. To the
northeastern section, from your guys' perspective,
the district begins to drift into another district
that you have not previously visited. This
district is, you've heard it mentioned before,
known as the Duskmeadow. Now, previous sections
you've been in have been worshipers of Bahamut,
the Platinum Dragon. There was the Braving
Grounds, which worships Kord, the god of strength
and warfare and honor. The Quad Roads, which is
under Erathis, the deity of civilization and
invention. The Duskmeadow falls under the watchful
eye of the Raven Queen, the goddess of death. That
large obsidian-type structure that you were led
to earlier is the temple that resides in the
center of this district. And you've heard mention
before of a few of the things that exist here.
That being probably Raven's Crest, which is
the main temple to the Raven Queen. This is also
where the Amaranthine Oubliette is located, which
is essentially the prison of the entire city of
Vasselheim.
MARISHA: The what?
MATT: The Amaranthine Oubliette.
ORION: Hammertime oubliette.
MARISHA: Oh, there it is.
MATT: This is also where most of the dead of the
city are interred into a series of catacombs that
are built deep beneath this section of the city.
Far enough away from the oubliette to the point
where isn't crossover and is enough of an escape,
because that apparently has happened in the past
history of the city. As you begin pushing towards the
edge of where the two districts meet, you can see
that there is an area of the town that, for lack of
better term, it's a more jovial than expected
area. There are a series of stands put up along
the side of the road. There's a lot of beggars
sitting on the side of the street that are
currently panhandling to those who walk by. There
are a number of taverns. You can hear music coming
from various establishments. And it seems almost
the closer you get to the death-oriented district
on the border of the Quad Roads, the more and more
it pushes into a shadier Mardi Gras-type
experience. So you make your way towards that
dividing line there. What you would like to do?
ORION: What say you, Thorbir?
WIL: Let's ask around and see if anything has been
a little out the ordinary, or maybe,
in the ordinary.
ORION: Yes, I like that phrasing.
WILL: Have to imagine anywhere this thing goes,
there's going to be strange deaths associated with
it. We might as well look there.
ORION: That's actually a good idea, as well.
LIAM: And where we're walking, are there shops and
stands, as well, or is it residential?
MATT: There are many that sell jewelry, many that
sell very well-made clothing, some of them party
attire, there are some that sell exotic fruits
that have been imported in various states of ripeness.
MARISHA: Is anyone selling any masks?
MATT: Make a perception check.
MARISHA: Passive or active?
MATT: That would be an active perception check as
you're seeking it.
MARISHA: 21.
MATT: 21. You do glance around and there is one
cart that carries costume, party attire supplies.
It doesn't seem to have too many customers right
now, but they do have
a couple of masks that are on display.
MARISHA: Are there any masks that look like tiger
masks?
MATT: Looking at it, there are none that are
tiger-specific, no. They seem to be molded leather
and some more impish, goblin-y in appearance.
MARISHA: Is there someone working the stand?
MATT: There is, yes. You see a woman in her
forties or so, thin, with a big toothy smile. Her
hair is pulled back into tight bun. You can see
there's little bit of her blondish hair turning to
gray on the sides around her ears, Reed Richard-style.
ORION: Did you say this was the Bahamut part of
town, too?
MATT: The Bahamut section is far away. That's
another section of the city. You are now on the
line between the Duskmeadow and the Quad Roads, so
it's Erathis and the Raven Queen.
LIAM: I'm pulling a mask off the wall. This is a
beautiful piece. Do you make them yourself?
MATT: "I do. I do, I make them myself by hand,
hence the price."
LIAM: They are quite beautiful. We're travelers
here. I've never seen a neighborhood like this. Is
there a festival going on here, or is this pretty
much the basic fare of the day here?
MATT: "This is the localized festival of the city.
If you've been around Vasselheim long enough
"you've seen there is little interest in
celebration depending on some places. But, at
"least on this line, some people can appreciate the
fleetness that is life and grasp it by the roots
"and make it its own before it's snuffed out."
LIAM: Here particularly, there seems to be
electricity in the air almost. It's very bustling.
This is the norm around here?
MATT: "Consistently. That's why I come and bring
my business here. I wouldn't do very well up
"north, I'll tell you that. All them dragon
types--" Looks to you. "No offense. All them
"silver dragon lovers have an issue with things as
celebratory."
LIAM: And I pull out ten gold, and I spread them
on her desk.
MATT: "How many masks?"
LIAM: Oh, none.
MARISHA: Oh, I would like one.
MATT: "Take your pick."
LIAM: I slide one coin away from the other nine,
and then dragging my finger across those say, is
there anything out of the ordinary these days?
MATT: Go ahead and make a persuasion roll.
LIAM: 15.
MATT: 15? She gives you a look like she's trying
to read you, looks about left and right. Glances
at you and looks a little ugh. Glances at you and
looks really taken aback, and then comes back to you
with a escape of comfort.
LIAM: Watching her, I pull out another five and
spread them in front of the first nine.
MATT: "Well, I mean, some businesses here are a
bit shady, I won't lie. And there are some
"long-standing businesses that have quarrels.
Usually, they end in small scuffles, or one
"purchases the other and ousts them from the city.
This is one of the few areas in which the more adult pleasures can be
"found, so there's a lot of money to be had. But
recently, there's been, at least from what I've
"heard, a series of bodies have turned up. There
were a few found, fished out by the Bastions in
"the water trough on the outskirts of the
Duskmeadow."
LIAM: The Bastions: what are they?
MATT: "Bastions who are the guardians of the city.
From what I hear, they had been mauled by some
"sort of strange beast."
LIAM: Mauled?
MATT: "Now, beasts on the outside of the city,
that I can see. But on the inside, that is the
"stuff of nightmares. Is it not?"
ORION: Yes, I would agree.
MARISHA: Have you had invaders like this before?
MATT: "I mean, death is not an uncommon occurrence
for certain areas of the city." And she gestures
off to the distant temple. "Some people invite it,
even. But such violent death like this is usually
"kept to the outside of the city, at least with
some sort of cause. This seems to be a murderous
"rampage that, me personally, I don't want to go
out at night without protection."
MARISHA: Is there is any indication of the cause
of death on these corpses? How do they find them?
MATT: "I don't know. I've not investigated.
Perhaps you have to ask the Bastions yourself
"that. Or anyone who was in the vicinity."
LIAM: And can you point us in the right
direction?
MATT: She looks around, and points off. And you
can see, there isn't a whole lot of Bastion
presence in this portion of the city, especially
since the Bastions are more of a voluntary guard.
People from the different clergies, the different
temples, train to become Bastions, and fit
themselves with whatever their deity's armor is. You
do see there are two Bastions armored in a very
dark, dark brown leather that carry a symbol of
what looks like a silver raven that is embroidered
on one shoulder of a cloak that is tossed to one
side.
LIAM: These guys are right here, essentially?
MATT: Yeah. Oh. They're across the road about
maybe a block up. "I believe they're Bastions from
"the Duskmeadow. Perhaps you could ask them."
MARISHA: Does she have any masks that look like a
raven? A raven mask?
MATT: She does actually have one that looks like a
raven.
MARISHA: I want that one.
MATT: "Very well. A good choice. It doesn't quite
match the color of your attire, but perhaps I have
"an outfit that could match for you?"
MARISHA: Oh!
WILL: Oh my god, we're going clothes shopping.
MARISHA: Do you have a little cloak as well? A
little cape?
MATT: "Cloaks I don't, but there but there is a
cloakery about four blocks that way on your left.
"They can probably help you there."
MARISHA: Thank you so much.
MATT: "Of course."
LIAM: I notice a serpent-shaped mask on the wall.
I just pick it up and put it on and say, thank
you, madam. Much obliged. And walk off and clap
Thorbir on the shoulder and keep walking.
WIL: Thorbir hangs back a little bit and waits for
them to get to the door. And he looks at the shop
keep and, do you have any masks that might fit a
little girl?
MATT: "Yes, of course, friend dwarf." And she goes
and rummages through a small bag and pulls out a
mask. This little purple mask that seems to have
small fake gems forming the outside, with a
couple of ribbons that dangle where it would tie around
the head. It's simple, but it's pretty.
"Unfortunately, not many people bring children to
this side of the district. They don't sell very
"well. But if you would like one, I would be happy
to part with for two gold?"
WIL: One gold.
MATT: Make a persuasion roll.
WIL: 18.
MATT: "One gold. Guess it is better to sell it
than not at all. Here you are. I must say, I won't
"tell anyone, but purple is a pretty color on you."
WIL: Yes, it is. He walks out.
MATT: All right. A few moments pass as you wonder
where your dwarven leader has vanished to, he
steps out through the front of the establishment.
WIL: Let's go.
ORION: Great. Do you have potions? Are you all
potioned up? Are you good on items, Thorbir?
WIL: I'm all right. Are you all right?
ORION: I'm just fine.
LIAM: Well, we're in a rush, but if it's easy. How
do you come by potions in this town?
WIL: Do I know the answer to that?
MATT: You do. They're either provided, from some
of your experience, by the Slayer's Take, but
those are usually offered at the start of a
contract. The fact that they weren't offered on
this means either they don't have any currently at
their disposal, or they felt that this contract
probably wouldn't require it with the construct of
this group being set out. Other than that, they
are a little hard to come by. A lot of them are
controlled by the main temples and are pretty much
given straight to the Bastions. There aren't a
lot of individuals that are in need of them within
the city, and those that travel out are either
members of the Slayer's Take or members of the
Bastion forces. So they are little hard to come
by.
WIL: I think that if we're going to find them
anywhere, it might be around here. Might be we can
take some through trade. Maybe some might fall off
a Bastion or two.
ORION: Well, let's go talk to one then, shall we?
WILL: Thought that's what we were doing. Are
going to the two Bastions over there or what?
ORION: Yes, Kashaw.
WILL: Good. One other thing you need to know about
them: they're horribly paid, so money talks with
these people.
ORION: Very well.
MARISHA: As he goes ahead, I keep up my pace until
I trail behind him a little bit.
WILL: Wonderful.
LIAM: My hood goes up, and I'm gone.
MATT: All right. As you guys step across the way.
It's about a block up. One of them is partially
inside the alley between two of the buildings. You
can see he has one hand up on the wall and the
other down. One of them is relieving himself on
the side of the building, while the other is
keeping watch, arms crossed, looking out across the
road. The one that's immediately present, or
before you, you can see is human, a
scruffy brown beard around the edge of the chin.
The hair itself is cut very short. A little
heavier in appearance. A little muscle, a little
layer of winter padding, but the black leather
armor definitely gives you the appearance of
somebody who is a Bastion of the Raven Queen. As
you approach, the hooded half-elf, the dwarf
walking with the giant axe, and the bumbling
dragonborn, the human cleric with a very angry
disposition, and the awkward half-elf druid
stepping in pace with him. Gives you all a cursory
look and immediately puts a hand to his side where
you can see that there is a rapier currently
sheathed. "Aye, you walk with purpose."
WIL: We walk for the Guild.
MATT: "Slayer's Take it is?"
WIL: It is.
MATT: "What business have you on this side of
town, then? Aren't you supposed to be out past the
"walls killing creatures and such?"
WIL: Our business takes us where our business
takes us. Our business brings us here today.
MATT: "All right, then what's your business?"
WIL: You might be having some trouble?
MATT: "Aye."
WIL: What's causing you trouble and what's going
to get us out of here might be the same thing.
MATT: The gentleman to the left of him finishes
shaking off the rest of his alleyway journey.
WILL: Any more than twice and you're just playing
with it, pal.
MATT: He turns around and throws his tunic over.
"Excuse me, it's official Bastion business.
"Anyway." And he nods over to the bearded gentleman
who's standing there.
"There are certain bits of business that are
official in this town. I don't know how honestly
"right it is to be talking with common folk, or even the
Guild who does what it likes."
WIL: I'm sorry, you're not talking to common
folk.
WILL: He wants money.
WIL: I know what he wants.
WILL: Well, then give to him so we can get out of
here.
LIAM: I'm circling around.
MATT: Make a stealth check.
LIAM: 31.
MATT: I'm not even going to roll. I'm going to ask
you to go ahead and you can choose if you want
persuasion or intimidation on this. You're riding
that line.
WIL: I'm equally bad at both of them. But I think
that Thorbir wants to go intimidation. I'll give
that a try. There it is!
ORION: 20?
WIL: What's the exact opposite of that?
(laughter)
MATT: You know, I've heard about it for so long.
WIL: I know, right? You can't believe that it's a
real thing until you're actually there.
LIAM: Everybody talks about spontaneous
combustion, but I'd never believed it.
WIL: It's silly. It's so silly to do this.
MARISHA: Dice shame.
LIAM: Naughty.
MATT: I don't know what ancient Aztec deity's
temple you defaced when you were a child, but man.
All right, so as you lean forward--
WIL: Please, just let me step into a bucket.
(laughter)
MATT: We'll get to that. As you lean forward,
forcing your presence on this Bastion, his hand's
still holding the edge of his rapier. He steps
forward into you, to the point where you're almost
forehead to forehead. "Sorry, I have to lean down
to reach your level. But if you're going to go
"about asking questions and not offering proper
compensation for information, well, then. I think
"we have no business here."
WIL: If it's compensation you're looking for,
let's just speak plain. And I pull out four gold.
LIAM: And while he has their attention, I'm going
to check out his pockets.
MATT: Go ahead and make a perception check.
LIAM: Ew, that's not good. I'm going to use Luck.
That's better. That's all right. Perception, you
said? 28.
MATT: 28? Taking a moment as you sneak up behind the
one he's talking to-- the two guys are shoulder to
shoulder, squaring off with the rest of this
group. The one that had been relieving himself in
the alleyway is a little bit closer to you. You
can see as he put his tunic right and everything,
he jostled around and revealed a couple of small
pouches on his side. One of which, you heard
a clinking of glass on the inside. Go ahead and make
a sleight-of-hand check.
MARISHA: Go rogue, go.
LIAM: Because I'm wearing a Cloak of Elvenkind,
which I know affects stealth checks but not--
MATT: Not sleight of hand, no.
LIAM: That's all right. 20.
MATT: 20. All right. You reach over and find the
edge of the leather loop that attaches itself to
the side of this Bastion's belt. You tug ever
so gently to the side and the loop releases and
you pull it off, seemingly without any noticing.
As you pull out the four gold from inside, the
Bastion looks out and scoffs and goes, "Clearly,
pittance fee for this. What's to let me think
"that you aren't actually part of this murder
scheme? You just walk up and try and start asking
"questions like this. First off, where did you hear
about it? Second, you look like the kind that
"would go ahead and be mauling folks in the street,
do you not, sir dwarf? You got the eyes of one
"who's probably done a few dark deeds."
WIL: Oh, I have. More than you can imagine.
MATT: "Then explain to me why we shouldn't take
you in for questioning right now." And he pulls
his rapier out.
ORION: Hold on. Everybody calm down. Hi, I'm
Tiberius Stormwind. My friend Thorbir here
didn't mean to offend, of course.
MATT: The blade up toward your face. And he says,
"Look, dragon man, I was talking to the dwarf.
"You, I have no business with at the moment. So.
You've got ten seconds before we take you in."
WIL: I reach into my pocket and rattle my coins
around a little bit. Maybe I could buy us some
time. And I drop ten gold out into my other hand.
MATT: Make a persuasion roll.
WILL: One! No, it isn't.
MATT: Three.
WIL: That's funny. I rolled a three on this die.
So that's going to be a six. Guys, I think we're
fighting the Bastions. I feel like maybe it's
going that way.
MARISHA: You rolled a one?
MATT: I rolled one.
MARISHA: You all have really low self-confidence.
MATT: As you push forward the coins, in a
semi-awkward forceful manner, the Bastion himself
also seems to be caught off-guard, and looks down,
and looks about. Realizing that now it looks like
you are visibly out in the open, paying money to
the Bastions. He looks back. "People don't stand
"out in public and do it!" And he pulls you all off
into the alleyway to the side of the complex. Out
of the middle of the area into the shade between
the buildings. He reaches over and takes the coins
from your hand and hurries them into a pocket.
"All right, look. I'll tell you what we know. But
"if you're going to be messing around with this
investigation, I ask that you don't let anyone
"know that you spoke with us. This is all on your
own. And if you do say anything, we'll deny it and
"we'll make sure to put you in the Oubliette
yourself for this. All right?"
ORION: Fair enough.
WIL and WILL: All right.
MATT: "Now, we have found a series of bodies over
the past few years, scattered about. A few months at
"a time between. All with a similar pattern of death
to them. We found large portions, the meaty
"portions of the body had been torn away, some of
them apparently eaten. There are marks that are
"indicative of some sort of beast ravaging the
corpses, but no signs of a beast coming or going.
"And we've had many of our finest trackers looking
for any sort of sign of a creature that may have
"found its way into the city. They've been in the
rooftops, the gutters, perhaps even the sewers. No
"sign of any such creature traveling amongst any of
these scenes.
"Now, all of the bodies have been found wrapped up
and discarded in the canals. A lot of them
"surrounding the Abundant Terrace." Looks at the
rest of you. "That's where Melora's eye is
"watchful. What's really got us confused of late
is, the most recent murder that we found was a
"very powerful merchant lord from Ank'harel, one
that's been in this city for no more than a month.
"He's well-known in these parts as bringing in a lot
of business. His caravans come through via
"various skyships. And he brings with himself an
influx of much-needed mercantile in the city."
MARISHA: What's his name?
MATT: "I'm not allowed to say."
WILL: You're not allowed to say?
MATT: "The merchant's name is Tyrell."
MARISHA: What?
MATT: "Tyrell. Lord Tyrell. If you say any of this
to any of our people, I swear I'll make your life
"the hardest it's been in months. And from the
looks of you, you've had a very hard few months.
"Lord Tyrell's body was found, but apparently
during the murder. We have one beggar that
"apparently caught sight of this the murderer. 
As best as we can tell, it was some sort of
"lycanthrope. The beggar was babbling, but it
seemed there was some sort of wolf-like creature.
"It was seen bipedal walking a man, but tore this
man right through the throat, most of his chest.
"But when spotted, didn't run, just vanished.
Disappeared. No longer in his sight. No tracks
"left behind. Just gone. Didn't know if it was
angry poltergeist, ghost. But the last place he
"was staying is at a recent establishment, only
been here a couple of years. Referred to as
"the Velvet Cabaret. The Velvet Cabaret 
is a very high-end place."
WILL: I know it well.
MATT: "You do?" He gives you a look of--
WILL: I've heard about it from somewhere else.
ORION: Scanlan? Have you been talking to Scanlan?
WILL: Don't know who that is, Stormshadow.
ORION: He likes whores. Okay. It's weird.
MATT: "The fact that that the lord had been
staying at the Velvet Cabaret for some time, and
"we were feeling pretty close to possibly finding
the source of these murders. Our bastion force
"from the Duskmeadow worked with the Quadroads and
we actually raided it. Found nothing. Nothing but
"the patrons, no sign of any sort of foul play. We
were forced to leave empty handed. That's all
"we've got."
WILL: I have a question about the bodies. Have you
seen them?
MATT: "I've only seen the most recent. The rest,
I've just heard of."
WILL: Anything similar with them? Are they all
men? Are they all women? Are they children?
MATT: "No children. Most of them seem to be well
off to do folk. Dressed well."
WILL: Wealthy men and women? And you say you've
searched everywhere, including the catacombs?
MATT: "Most. Catacombs themselves are sealed off.
We've asked around, and there's been no sign of
"movement in or out. And gods forbid, anyone stays
in those places.
"That's a nasty place to be staying."
WILL: It is, indeed.
ORION: Is there a way that the bastions could
organize some kind of gathering of sorts? Perhaps
a mandatory town meeting, where all would have 
to gather for maybe
an announcement or something official?
MATT: "All the bastions? That's near impossible.
The city's scattered politically enough as it
"is. People can be rallying whenever there's some
sort of force coming against the city. But when it
"comes to nothing for any particular reason, just
the investigators take care of it themselves."
WIL: He serves the Raven Queen, right? He's got
the Raven Queen patch on him?
MATT: Yeah.
WIL: This part of town, death isn't the worst
thing in the world. Lots of planes other than
ours, might be you're a little bit closer than
some of the rest of us are; we're underneath the
mountain. You wouldn't happen to know about anyone
performing any rituals or maybe opening up lines
of communication that may have been made and
disturbed?
MATT: "I certainly hope not. These sort of
communion rituals are sanctified and held within
"the actual temple to the Raven Queen itself. If
anyone is doing any sort of business, there is a
"very watchful eye over the city. Anything that is
unsanctioned,
"I can guarantee we'll know about it."
ORION: May we seek audience with this Raven
Queen?
MARISHA: I mean, she's a goddess.
ORION: Oh. She's not here?
MARISHA: She's not a queen. She's a goddess.
MATT: You can see the two the two bastions are
looking at each other with expression of
"Really?"
ORION: We're new around here.
MATT: "Listen, we've talked long enough. We got to
get back to our posts."
MARISHA: Oh, wait. You mentioned investigators?
MATT: "There are different people assigned to
investigate. We were part of the team that was
"sent as part of the investigation raid on the
Velvet Cabaret."
MARISHA: It's not a group of people. It's just,
"you're an investigator today" kind of thing?
MATT: "That's part of what we do as Bastions,
aye."
MARISHA: Gotcha. Is there anyone else that is part
of the investigation team that you think would be
good to talk to?
MATT: "They wouldn't have any more information
than we do, no."
MARISHA: Can I do an insight check on him?
MATT: Yeah, go for it.
MARISHA: 23.
MATT: He seems forthright enough. He seems
impatient and a little flustered with the fact
that you've been pushing these questions to him.
But he doesn't
seem to be covering anything necessarily.
WIL: Did he tell us where they found the-- I
didn't write this down.
LIAM: And Lord Tyrell factored in how?
WIL: Can you tell us where you found the body of
the merchant lord?
MATT: "The body was found in the side alley to the
Velvet Cabaret."
WILL: You said wrapped up? Or just the ones in the
river were wrapped up?
MATT: "The ones that were found in the river, they
were wrapped up in blankets. Whatever put them
"aside was not some beast. There was some
intelligence to this. And they were placed
"deliberately, which means, I don't think there's
just one thing doing this."
WILL: Were the blankets the same, or were they all
different?
MATT: "They seemed to be different. Some were just
scattered cloths. Some were tattered sheets. Some
"were bolts of fine material. Really varied. There
was no pattern to it."
WILL: Was anything missing from Lord Tyrell?
MATT: "Nothing more than his throat, his
trachea."
LIAM: We've pumped these guys for all they've
got.
WIL: You're all right. Sorry about that.
MATT: "It's all right, just offer more coin up
front next time. Be well. And if you hear
"anything, find any information, come straight to
us. Don't be getting into official business.
"You're sanctified as a Slayer, but don't make us
look bad." They step around you guys, back out
into the main street.
WIL: Velvet Cabaret?
MARISHA: Velvet Cabaret.
WILL: It's close.
MARISHA: So we know that this guy-- while we walk
there, I was talking. We know that this guy is a
demon from the Nine Hells. So, he seems to be
targeting wealthy people. Do you think these are
people that tried to get under his control, under
his servitude, and it didn't go his way, so he
ended up killing them?
WIL: Folk don't go into the Velvet Cabaret unless
they got a lot of coin. Someone like Lord Tyrell.
Do we know anything about him? Does his name ring
any bells for us at all?
MATT: Roll a history check.
WIL: Oh boy. (laughs) It happened again!
MATT: This is unprecedented. You are the
nega-Percy right now.
WIL: Just telling you. I'm just telling you.
MATT: This is impressive.
WIL: You think it isn't real. You think it's a
thing I make jokes about.
MATT: You take a moment to conjecture where you
may have heard the name. What was the name again?
WIL: Oh, the guy from Battlestar Galactica. 
Oh, what was his name? Adama?
MATT: You want to roll a history check?
WILL: d20?
MATT: d20 and add your history modifier.
WILL: Add my history. 20. Total of 20.
MATT: Total is 20? All right. You've heard of the
city of Ank'Harel. It's a desert city from a long
ways away. But you aren't specifically aware of
this individual. You however, Kashaw, you know
that Lord Tyrell has come through this city a few
times in the past year or so. You've only been
here a short time yourself, but in the time that
you've been here, you've heard tales of this large
caravan that comes through. And it is a parade. He
usually brings with him a good 13 different carts
that contain all sorts of jewels and materials and
tapestries and fine silks, and it's almost a small
party whenever this is this long walking caravan
is brought into the city. So you are aware of this
individual. You're surprised that the death has be
kept so hush-hush.
WILL: And are there rumors of about him bring in
anything else? Anything illicit? Or is it kind of
"what you see is what you get?"
MATT: As far as you know? No information that has
caught your ear per se, but the fact that he's
staying in this district, who knows?
WIL: Folks tend to stay-- Let me try that again.
Folk tend to stay with their own class. These
victims are all wealthy folk. And they seem to
have the Velvet Cabaret in common. It's very
likely that we're dealing with somebody who is
rich and powerful.
WILL: What does a demon need money for?
WIL: Who says he's after money?
MARISHA: Seems to be after power.
LIAM: Tyrell was passing through. I wonder how
many people would notice him gone
here in Vasselheim.
ORION: I'm sure quite a few.
MARISHA: And it seems like it's no secret when he
comes to town.
WILL: It was a party every time he showed up.
MARISHA: And according to the guards, these
murders have been going on for the past few years,
so it seems like whatever we're dealing with might
have time to plan ahead. If he's been aware of the
past few times that Tyrell has come through the
town and could possibly know the next time he's
coming through.
ORION: And if we could pinpoint when it actually
started, we know years, but actually when, then we
can actually narrow it down to the establishments
and other things that were established then.
WIL: Would there be a place where we could inquire
as to some sort of ledger like that when this guy
comes in and with the intention of trying to
correlate it with when different murders have
happened? Actually, I take that back. Thorbir
doesn't think that deeply. That's not the thing
that he wants to do. That sounds like a lot of
thinking and not a lot of hitting things.
LIAM: This killer could be hiding in plain sight 
at the Cabaret. Could be an employee there.
ORION: Or the owner himself.
MARISHA: How long ago did the bastions say that
they raided the Velvet Cabaret?
WILL: It was a month ago, wasn't it?
MATT: It was a few weeks back when the murder
occurred, yeah.
MARISHA: So here's my question: do you think he
would stick around after it was raided? Or do you
think he'd move on?
LIAM: The thing is vanishing upon sight.
WILL: And gotten away with it for the last two or
three years. I don't think he cares much anymore.
LIAM: My question is: we have three days,
Cabaret's the only lead we have. How do we draw
this person, he or she, out?
MARISHA: I believe it is three days.
LIAM: We have three days to collar it.
MATT: You have three days to complete the
contract, meaning slaying the entity you're
contracted to.
WILL: I was going to say that you look like a man
who knows wealth.
ORION: Yes.
LIAM: I've spent time with wealth.
WILL: Well, I never have, so I would think maybe
if you were a merchant coming into
town, very wealthy, looking for some adult
entertainment,
might be a way to bring him out the forefront.
ORION: Oh, I agree. I cast Alter Self on myself
and turn myself into an elf.
You're half-elf right?
LIAM: Half-elves.
ORION: I'll turn into a half-elf, akin to a
high-born half elf.
MATT: All right, fair enough. Even in comparison
to Vax, your attire is very nice.
MARISHA: Does this mean that I should go change
clothes?
WILL: You were going to go shopping.
MARISHA: I was.
ORION: You look okay.
MARISHA: Thank you.
LIAM: Let's go. I jingle what gold I have in a
pouch in front of Keyleth's face and say, let's go
shopping. Come on.
WIL: Shopping montage.
MATT: As you guys go out shopping for better
looking, well-to-do attire, we'll go ahead and
take a quick five-minute break and we'll return
here and as you guys continue to the next step of
your hunt for the rakshasa.
WIL: Oh, Tyrell! I just remembered.
(laughter)
WIL: What a silly thing to forget.
LIAM: As the rakshasa bears down on your head.
MATT: Last thing engraved on your tombstone. Yeah,
quick five-minute break. First off, before we get
to that, guys: A big thank you to Negihama once
again, our patron saint of ridiculous gifts, who
purchased these sconces to put on the wall.
LIAM: They're legit.
MARISHA: Aren't the sconces awesome?
MATT: They are amazing.
MARISHA: The LEDs change colors.
MATT: Reminder: every hundred subs we're
giving away a signed picture and signed full-scale
poster of Kit's art. And for the break, the
five-minute break we're going to take real fast,
we have an awesome video that was presented to us
by some of the Critters that I think you'll also
appreciate as well. So we'll go ahead roll that
and use the potty
and we'll see you guys in a few minutes.
[break]
MATT: Welcome back. I assume we'll have a Liam
here in just a moment.
ORION: He's just stealthing.
WILL: He's stealthing. He rolled a 28 
and disappeared.
WIL: I was talking Liam's ear off during the break
about how much I love the dynamic among the three
of you, and commiserating about how you feel
really naked and exposed when your whole party
isn't together. How weird that feels to not have
everybody together at the same time. I think I
kept him from the bathroom.
MATT: Oh, gotcha. That's okay. He'll arrive. When
he comes, we'll all awkwardly stare. Yeah. When he
does. When he arrives we'll all just-- But in the
meantime, you managed to go back and--
LIAM: Stealth. Disadvantage on my next five
attacks.
(laughter)
WILL: I love the awkward stare. It was great.
WIL: He's actually a very generous DM if he does
that. I actually make my players roll damage when
they upset me.
MATT: Oh, that's good to know.
WIL: Yeah, dude, d6 damage if you annoy the GM.
MATT: Wrath of the gods comes down upon you. All
right, so you guys taken a few minutes to acquire
outfits that seem a little more fitting as to the
establishment you're planning to go and enter.
MARISHA: Guys, we should have aliases. Can we have
aliases?
WIL: Yeah, I'll be Thorbir.
WILL: I like it. It's easy to remember.
MARISHA: Very easy. Oh, you know what, maybe I
could-- would it be weird if I'm Vex? That's
weird, isn't it?
LIAM: That's really weird.
MARISHA: Okay. What's a good elven name? What's
something common in Elven? You were around this
stuff. All of my people have weird tribal names.
What's good?
LIAM: Elivr is nice. Coralin.
MARISHA: Oh, Coralin. Do I look like a Coralin?
WILL: What does a Coralin look like?
ORION: She does that. Just agree.
LIAM: I will be Scanlan Shorthalt.
MARISHA: (stutters) What, you can be Scanlan, but
I couldn't be Vex?
LIAM: No, you can't do that. I'm just saying 
it's weird.
MARISHA: That's double standard, Vax. I'm just
saying.
ORION: I think it's maybe because you're not his
sister and it would be weird because that's his
sister's name.
WILL: You have a sister?
LIAM: I have a twin, yes.
WILL: What does she look like? Oh.
ORION: But she's a female.
WILL: She sounds lovely.
WIL: Humans, am I right?
MARISHA: She's very nice.
WILL: That's what they say about all the ugly
girls. "She's very nice."
MARISHA: I feel like I'm learning so much from
you. Is that what they say?
ORION: Life lessons, yes.
WILL: Velvet Cabaret?
LIAM: To the Cabaret.
WIL: I presume that I'll play the role of your
guard.
LIAM: Bodyguard, yes.
WILL: What does that make me? How about your
valet? You'll need one if you're wealthy. Would
you have a human, though?
LIAM: Of course. Of course I'll have a human,
being elven.
ORION: Are we on our way there now?
LIAM: Yeah, we're walking and talking. And you're
changed into a gnome.
ORION: Now I change. I change, because it only
lasts a certain amount of time.
LIAM: Boy or girl?
ORION: I'm a boy.
WILL: So are you Lord Vax?
LIAM: Lord Scanlan of the Shorthalts.
WILL: Lord Scanlan, okay. Lord Scanlan of the--
I'm sorry, of the what?
LIAM: Of the Shorthalts.
WILL: Of the Shorthalts. Okay.
LIAM: We have a cobbling empire. Shoes.
WILL: The Shorthalts. Okay. Lord Scanlan of the
Shorthalts.
LIAM: We cater mostly to halflings and gnomes.
Everyone, but specifically because they're so
underserved.
WILL: You have a gnome shoe empire?
LIAM: Rolling in it, baby.
WIL: Where's your empire, human?
WILL: I have no empire. I'm his valet.
LIAM: We're wonderful partners, dear.
MARISHA: Am I your wife?
LIAM: Do you want to be? Is that weird?
MARISHA: No.
ORION: I say it's equally-- no, it's fine.
MARISHA: No, it's fine. Yeah, I can be your
wife. I can RP this. I mean I can pretend to be.
Yeah. So Coralin Shorthalt.
WIL: Thorbir is pulling on his beard and breathing
deeply.
ORION: Now I cast Alter Self.
MATT: All right. Cast and a flash of light. You
guys all pick up the very, very heavy smell of
breakfast ale emanating from the deeply breathing,
angry dwarf.
ORION: Wait, Vax. What was my role in this?
LIAM: You're an advisor. A financial advisor.
ORION: Financial advisor. Excellent.
MATT: All right. You guys make your way to a
little bit further north this of this route, five
or six blocks until you get the outskirts of the
Velvet Cabaret, which based on the description
you've gotten from a few individuals you asked
around, very easy to find. The fancy house of
entertainment. It is a two-story building of dark
cherry wood with strips of what looks to be black
suede bolted in a pattern along the outside of it.
It stands out like a sore thumb against the rest
of the architecture, but it looks a night club. It
looks very, very gaudy, but in a way that the
garishness looks expensive, and so you can't
really fault it for looking the way it does.
WIL: It looks like cruise ship goth club.
MATT: I like that. I'll take that.
WILL: Cruise ship goth club.
WIL: That's a thing that exists.
WILL: Really?!
MATT: When are we going to this?
WIL: Every year on the Jonathan Coulton Cruise, we
gather in the cruise ship goth club.
WILL: Wow.
MATT: JoCo Cruise.
WILL: Too many jokes.
MATT: I know. As you approach the front, you can
see that there are two bouncers established at the
very front. To the left, you see a meaty male
dragonborn, bronze scale with painted face scars.
He has a very, very intense look about him. He's
thicker. He's built like a barrel. He sits with
his arms crossed, looking angrily out amongst the
rest of the folks outside. To the other side, you
recognize a burly-looking female with short hair
and some facial tattoos. The Siren, who you saw
battle in the Cauldron, apparently works as one of
the bouncers of the Velvet Cabaret.
ORION: I approach right next to Vax, as we move
up. Scanlan. In Draconic I go, greetings and
salutations, friend.
MATT: He gives you a look of confusion for a
second and leans forward and the dragonborn looks
very intently at you and says back in Draconic,
"Are you a member?"
ORION: Not yet. We are new to this place. My
master here is seeking audience with his kind. We
were guided to this place. This establishment has
a high reputation.
We wish to inquire how to get inside.
MATT: Looks over to the Siren. Siren glances back
and, "What's he saying?"
And the dragonborn glances over. And he says out
loud in Common now, at this point, "He's saying
"that they're looking to come in here and talk to
other elvish guys, I guess."
ORION: Oh, not elvish, but more people of high
society. High society here.
MATT: Make a persuasion check.
ORION: 21.
MATT: 21. He gives a glance over. "Well, if you're
not a member, you can acquire membership, but it
"has to approved first by the owner."
ORION: May we seek audience with him to ask or
apply, or however that goes about.
MATT: "Let me get his assistant. Hold on just a
second. Siren."
She gives a look. "I'll be right back." She rolls
up her sleeves
and steps inside as the door opens.
MARISHA: As I see her, I turn and face outward.
WILL: You know her?
MARISHA: No.
WILL: Okay.
MATT: As the door opens, you can already hear 
what sounds like soft harp music coming from the
interior. And it's hard to actually look inside
because as you can see there are silks draped
crossed over and in front of the entryway, as soon
as you step in.
A few moments pass, eventually the Siren returns
and you are greeted at the doorway by a dwarf with
very well-groomed facial hair. A beard that comes
to a fine point, has a little gold ring at the
very bottom that kinks it at the bottom, this
little poof. With makeup on. Very rosy cheeks, and
you can see there is eyeliner around his eyes.
Smile to his face. Wearing these long white robes,
lots of jewelry. And the rest of his dark brown
hair is pulled into a dual ponytail that runs down
to the middle of the back. Comes to door and
immediately says, "Gracious welcome to all of you.
"I've been told that you're seeking possible
membership to our establishment."
ORION: In Dwarvish I say, that's correct.
MATT: "Well, fantastic, then. Don't leave possible
patrons outside." And looks off to the two
bouncers and they grumble and step off to the
side. "Come in. Come in. Follow me." And he steps
inside. As you guys walk in behind him,
immediately you're hit with the strong smell of
exotic incense and the cooking of meat mingling
with that. It has this smell of everything good
you've ever smelled mixed into one location.
WILL: Love the smell of these places.
MATT: The interior is fairly low-lit with what
looks like a series of faerie-fire lamps dangling
in small lattice cages. So it has this light
purplish-pink glow to the general interior. There
are no stools or chairs. There are tables that low
set and the floor is nearly covered with very,
very expensive looking pillows. All the patrons
are currently sitting cross-legged or laying
around the tables. And you can see the clientele
is very well dressed and very wealthy. There is
laughter and conversation. There's definitely has
a very, very different air. It's like stepping
into a whole different world from what you're used
to seeing in Vasselheim. And you get the feeling
that whoever created this establishment definitely
created it to provide a very different experience
for most people who work here, which means one, it
probably makes a really good killing to the small
number of clientele, number two, it probably isn't
very well liked by the people who have been living
here most their life. As you look around, too,
there are dice games being played, there are many
gold pieces being stacked up on tables. It appears
that there's definitely a lively-- what's the word
I'm looking for? My brain isn't working-- gambling
arrangement in this place. You notice that all the
guards in the inside, the bouncers, are common
sell-swords. There's no unification to their
adornments or any of their armor and stuff. There
are a few folks that are looking around, keeping
the peace, arms crossed. They all definitely have
weapons visible. And they're just sitting there,
guarding just like the bouncers were at front of
the place.
WILL: How many dwarves?
MATT: Just the one that let you inside.
MARISHA: I reach over and I grab Vax's hand.
LIAM: I fold her arm in and walk forward.
MATT: All right.
WILL: I think, as they move forward, I would like
to pull Thorbir aside and say, maybe since we're
trying to get membership here, you should cover
your runes.
WIL: Noted.
WILL: Thank you.
WIL: I'd like to make a perception check to size
up the guards around. Ten.
MATT: Well, that's a step in the right direction.
WIL: I rolled four times as good as I usually
roll.
MATT: Looking about, they look armored. It's hard
to tell their skill level, based on the low light
in here. They seem definitely keeping an eye out,
but you can tell they've been working here a while
and they've grown comfortable. What you do notice,
though, is a lot of the servers that are walking
around are young men and women dressed in very
fine silk robes or gowns. All have these iron
bands around their neck, collars, that aren't
chained to anything. But it immediately gives you
this mental image of slavery or some sort of
servitude. It does not appear that they are
actually in some sort of servitude, but the
adornment they wear is almost trying to get across
that atmosphere, as if that's part of what you're
paying for. It sickens you a little.
WIL: I'm going to carry myself and I'm going to do
what I can to give off that I'm keeping an eye on
this guy, that I'm the guy. That's how I'm trying
to carry myself.
MATT: Okay. As you guys you have walked to the
center of this room now, the dwarf individual who
let you in turns around and with a bit of a bow.
"I would to introduce myself. My name is Hosin. I
"am the manager of this fine establishment, the
Velvet Cabaret. I'd like to welcome you..."
LIAM: Scanlan of the Shorthalts.
MATT: "Scanlan of the Shorthalts? Where do you
hail from? I've not heard of them."
LIAM: We come from Emon. I sell shoes. We sell
shoes.
MARISHA: Yes, Coralin Shorthalt.
MATT: "Coralin Shorthalt."
MARISHA: Yes, pleasure.
MATT: "Very well. Well, you have interest in
membership you say?"
LIAM: We do. We're hoping to sample the atmosphere
here. Is there entertainment? We heard there was
great entertainment.
MATT: "Oh yes, quite entertainment here at certain
hours, if you like. For now, we have more an
"atmospheric presentation." And he looks over, and
you can you see that there is small stage off to
the corner. There sits a very beautiful elven
woman, dressed in a gold gown that is sleeveless
and hugs to her form very well. You can see that
it shimmers and little bit of purple fairy light
that is hanging above her. And she just this
gorgeous-looking silver harp in front of her.
She's just plucking away. Her eyes are closed,
like she's just caught in the moment. And there's
group of people that are sitting around her
chatting softly, not to be overbearing to the
music, but to just be around that atmosphere.
ORION: Your wonderful employees mentioned
membership. We'd like to acquire that as well, I
assume, as well.
MATT: You're saying this to Hosin?
LIAM: This is Thorlaxalux, my financial advisor.
ORION: Thorlaxalux, at your service. I bow
gracefully.
MATT: Make a persuasion roll. No, deception roll.
Deception roll.
ORION: What is that? 16?
MATT: 16? All right. "The pleasure is mine. And
it's not often that come across elves that have
taken the time to learn the tongue of my folk."
ORION: I know many languages.
MARISHA: He's very well traveled. Very well
cultured. That's part why we hired him.
ORION: I was a bit of a shut-in as a child. All I
had were books on languages to read and whatnot,
and adventures and what have you.
MATT: "Well, if you are seeking membership, you
should probably speak with our patron, the owner
"of this establishment. He's currently in a
meeting, I believe, but step with me for a
"moment." And he leads you to go to the other side
of the room. And you know, all these draped orange
and gold silks that are constantly getting in your
way as you push through. Leads you into a doorway
that is covered in these silks. You push into the
hallway to the right and left. There's a door
across the way, and two doors down the left. And
the door at the very end is a really
ornate-looking door with a series of locks that
currently unlocked. Hosin walks up to it and
knocks gently onto it, takes a listen. "Ah, it
appears that he will be available in just a
"moment, if you'd like to sit tight, and you're
more than welcome to speak."
MARISHA: Question, Hosin. While we wait, do you
happen to have any wine or ale? Just while we
wait. It's been such a long travel.
MATT: "But of course."
MARISHA: Thank you. You're so kind.
MATT: He claps his hands, and you can see one of
the servants that you saw walking with a small
tray enters from the side of the hallway. "Yes?"
Hosin turns. "The finest wine we have available 
for the elven lass right here." The servant
immediately darts off, averting the eyes. A moment
passes. Returns with three glasses of wine,
looking over you two. Hands one to each of you.
And the servant, still averting his gaze from the
guests, smiles, gives a little curtsy, and then
darts back into the main room.
MARISHA: Cheers. Cling.
LIAM: I cling and hand my glass to Thorbir.
MARISHA: I take a sip of mine. It's very good.
WIL: All right. I'm sipping to keep up the charade, 
but I'm not happy about it.
MATT: It's definitely an elvish blend, which is
generally too sweet for your tastes, but for what
you were expecting, it's not too bad. Its
serviceable. Nowhere near strong enough to really
do anything, but it's not water.
WIL: So as I hand it back to you, I sort of
mutter, wine.
(laughter)
WIL: Giant dwarven air quotes.
MATT: The doorway at the end of the hallway opens
up suddenly, and as it does, a servant walks out
holding a tray that contains a bunch of
partially-eaten fruits and what looks the outer
gristle of some sort of cooked meat, and looks at
you all awkwardly and steps past and disappears
into the other room. You hear a voice come down
the hallway. "Enter! I ask you all to enter. You
"are to meet me. Please, come, sit, be comfortable.
Welcome to the Velvet Cabaret."
LIAM: Look to Thorbir and then look in the room.
WIL: I step into the room.
MATT: As you enter, Hosin lowers his head and
offers his arms at the rest of you to acquiesce.
Stepping into the room, you see-- once again, a
room that has a square or rectangular table in the
center that has a series of small platters on it
with bits of previously devoured meal, and there
are three small cushions on the ground that you
see would act as some sort of sitting arrangement.
The opposite side of the room has three large
purple cushions on which there are two women, also
servants, that are just lying back comfortably,
just resting, and in the center, you see a man,
very dark complexion, ratty looking, crimped dark
hair, very well-trimmed beard and mustache
ensemble, and long black and gold robes. Very,
very long sleeves and jewelry adorning every ounce
of his hands, his fingers, you can barely see the
actual skin beneath, there is just so much jewelry
adorning him. He looks up smiling with his elbows
near the edge of the table. "Have a seat. We are
"to talk, yes? Introduce yourselves. Guests are
always welcome, but I wish to know who it is that
"I am guesting for."
LIAM: I seat Coralin and have a seat myself. And
pretending to check out the women in the room, I
make a perception check. And that is a 16.
MATT: All right, what are trying to see?
LIAM: Oh, if anything sets off my alarm
bells.
MATT: They seem to be lounging. And there isn't
like fear in their eyes or that they are being
mistreated per se. Almost like they're here for
atmosphere.
LIAM: And the room itself?
MATT: The room itself-- Most of the walls have
like a velvety texture to them. All the wood has
been covered with some sort of material that has a
comfortable almost-- Everything feels like it's a
lounging bedroom. And that's the aesthetic of a
lot of the interior of this location. You cannot
quite see the source of the light in the room. It
almost feels like there's an indirect lighting
accoutrement across the ceiling. Whatever the
source of lighting is, it's being spread across
the top. It gives this sort of dark intimate feel
to this current room at least. As he gestures out
to the rest of you to sit. "I fear there are only
three seats, but I assume that your accompaniment
"are accustomed to standing, anyway. So do not
worry. Very good. Now you say you come for
"membership. Membership does not come cheap.
Membership does not come to anyone. We have
"a certain level of clientele we wish to keep, because
in keeping this it is easy enough for us to
"consider it very-- how do I say?-- exquisite."
MARISHA: I'm sorry, before we go on, what was your
name? I don't believe I caught it.
MATT: "I did not catch your name either."
MARISHA: Oh, I'm sorry, I am Coralin. Coralin
Shorthalt.
MATT: "Coralin Shorthalt."
MARISHA: Of the Emon Shorthalts.
MATT: Takes your hand and leans forward, and gives
you this ginger kiss to edge of your fingers.
Yeah, there is a slimy-ish presence, but not too
aggressive. Just a very well-trained type of
dealing with guests.
MARISHA: I subversively wipe it on my robes.
MATT: "My name is Vince Cyinnor. And I am the
owner of this house of joy and pleasure."
LIAM: I'm the lucky man who married her. My name
is Scanlan of the Shorthalts. We're in from Emon,
and reputation of this establishment is well known
within all parts of the walls. We're looking to
possibly become members here. We hear the
entertainment is top-notch, and we hear that
business happens within these walls. But I'm not
convinced. I'm hoping to stay for an hour to see
what you have to offer. When I find I like a
place, I stay for a long time and leave a lot of
money. I'd just like a little taste.
MATT: Make a deception check.
LIAM: Using my last Luck of the day. That's
better. 15.
MATT: 15. "Hosin, if you don't mind." And the door
closes behind you guys. "Well, Scanlan Shorthalt.
"What, may I ask, business do you run that gives
you the liquid assets to think that you can walk
"and rub shoulders among such astute clientele? You
are well-dressed, I see, and well-versed in
"conversation. But have not heard of you before and
I have very acute ears for people of such heritage
"in this city."
LIAM: We hail from Emon. We're not very flashy. We
certainly don't do much in public in Emon. I
prefer to make my money and enjoy my money and I
don't believe in ostentation.
MATT: "Why have you come to this establishment? I
am made of ostentation, for I do not fear what
"people judge or think here. Do what you like."
LIAM: Don't get me wrong. I enjoy the form of a
beautiful woman as much as the next man.
MATT: "Why limit yourself?"
LIAM: Who said I do?
MATT: "Even this one here, while his appearance
may be rough, I'm certain that under certain
"circumstances he could be persuaded to prove his
weight in more than gold and weaponry."
MARISHA: Mr. Cyinnor, I think it is best that you
do not make presumptions
on our relationship and dealings.
LIAM: My wife and I are businessmen. And what we
hear is that this is where business happens.
MATT: "Business does happen here, yes. Quite a bit
of interesting business."
MARISHA: And we are very interested in all of
those interesting businesses.
MATT: "From what I hear, as my assistant has told me,
your business is shoes. Tell me, why would the
"business of shoes require such an ostentatious
location for business?"
LIAM: The shoes are the public face, but the well
runs deep.
MATT: "We get to the meat of the matter, eh? So,
shoes is but an appearance. What is your business
"aside from cobbling, Mr. Shorthalt?"
LIAM: I know my way around poison, and I hear you
have the rarest of breeds here. I have come to
spend some money to satisfy my clients.
MATT: Make a deception check.
LIAM: 15 again.
MATT: What was it?
LIAM: 15 again.
MATT: "Poisons? So you supply to what?
King-killers? Supply to sell-swords? You apply
"them to your own weapons? You realize this city is
very, very tight-knit when it comes to these sorts of
"industries. Although I know you would think possibly
to find it here, I guarantee you what we deal with
"here has nothing to do with slitting of throats."
LIAM: I'm not looking to sell. I'm looking to
buy.
MATT: "I will tell you one thing that I am interested
in buying. I'm interested in buying information.
"I'm interested in buying loyalty. I'm interested
in buying trust. Since you've walked into this
"room, there has been an air of something not right
about you. And through this conversation, I have
"come to believe that perhaps you're not telling me
the truth. Now, I will ask of you this moment,
"whoever you may be, Shorthalt or not, but this
entire facility is very well paid to make sure
"that should you try anything funny, you won't get
but two steps before the heads leave your
"shoulders. So let's be frank here. Who are you?
Why are you here?"
MARISHA: Mr. Vince, let's not play coy. I am sure
you have dealt with many a powerful client in
your day. And I am sure that it is not unfamiliar
to you that many powerful clients
have many deep secrets.
ORION: As she finishes that, I dispel Alter Self.
MATT: Okay. As your actual dragonborn appearance
restores itself, he sits back.
ORION: My apologies. I am Tiberius Stormwind--
yes, wind.
WILL: I can never get it right.
ORION: I merely dispelled this to show you that
earning your trust is in our best interests. I do
not wish to deceive.
MATT: "Then perhaps you should have walked in this
form when you first arrived."
ORION: Many people don't take kindly to a red
dragonborn by the way. I just thought it was best.
We're in a new town and it was standard protocol
whenever we visit a new town. My apologies.
MATT: "Well, one person has come clean. What about
this one? What is your business here?"
WILL: My business here is the same as theirs.
We're here, in the long run, to help you.
MATT: "What is to help me? You have not told me
what your business is."
LIAM: We're here to stop a murderer.
MATT: "Explain."
LIAM: Bodies have been showing up outside this
building. Multiple bodies. We're not going to get
into the details, but we've been sent here to stop
that from happening any further.
ORION: We're fairly sure you know of this.
LIAM: Look at this guy. Does he look like he's
fucking around?
WIL: He winks at him.
MATT: The force of the wink itself is intense
enough to the point where he physically shudders
and leans back a few inches.
LIAM: Now, you must be aware of this problem.
Can't be a surprise to you. People are starting to
take notice in this city. This was inevitable.
WILL: Do you still have Lord Tyrell's
possessions?
MATT: "This is about Lord Tyrell? We do have his
possessions. They have been investigated. Our
"establishment has already been investigated. The
Bastions were very thorough, and we have been
"found absolved of any sort of involvement."
MARISHA: We are not Bastions. And we are not here
to accuse. And we are not here to investigate your
establishment.
MATT: "Interesting. You come in here and lie. It
seems to me exactly what you're doing. Now, are
"you coming to ask questions? To see what
involvement we have? Answers? We've already told
"everything to anyone else. We have no involvement.
I don't know what you're talking about. This is
"ridiculous. And I may have to ask you to leave."
MARISHA: He's shutting down. Someone do something
quick.
LIAM: Insight check, insight check. Balls.
WIL: I will also make an insight check.
MARISHA: Can I do that, as well?
(laughter)
MATT: What did you get?
MARISHA: We're all going to die.
LIAM: That makes my ten look titanic.
WIL: I'm trying to make you look good. It's what
Thorbir does.
MARISHA: 19.
WIL: I rolled a two.
WILL: You're going up.
MATT: It's not impressive. That's mythic.
WIL: Statistically unlikely.
WILL: That's the thing. You're beating math.
WIL: I've been beating math for 20 years. I'm very
good.
MATT: Yeah. You're the singularity that ruins the
universe.
WIL: Somewhere in the world there's a person who
never rolls under 17. And I was placed on this
planet to balance the math to save you all. To
prevent the center of the planet from collapsing
and taking us all with it. You're welcome.
LIAM: She's in New Zealand. The other side of the
Earth.
MATT: All right. So, as you're all taking this
moment to yourself. It's hard to read. It seems
like he's very thorough and offended by this
circumstance. You glean that there is a
nervousness, and there are droplets of sweat
across his brow. And his brusqeness does show a
bit of fear in his eyes.
MARISHA: About this time, I go (fwoosh) and I cast my
wind spell. And I slam the doors behind us. And I
slam the shutters. And turn out all the lights.
Did you say there was candlelight? Or did you say
there was weird indirect lighting.
MATT: Yeah, indirect lighting. You don't quite
know where the source is coming from. The door was
already closed behind you. Hosin closed it. But as
the wind comes out, all the silks blow against the
wall. Pillows are lobbed to the sides. Both of the
women in there (yelps) and pull back against walls,
trying to keep out of the circumstance. And you
can see Vince has begun to stand up and his hair
blown back. "What is the meaning of this?"
MARISHA: Now. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that.
I sometimes get a little out of control. But
remain calm! All right?! Jesus! Remain calm!
ORION: You calm down.
MARISHA: I'm sorry! I'm trying to remain calm,
too!
WILL: Doing a great job.
MARISHA: Thank you! Okay.
MATT: Persuasion check.
MARISHA: Damn it.
LIAM: Who's in this room? It's the women--
MATT: It's the women and Vince. Hosin closed the
door and left in the hallway.
LIAM: Vince is the--
MATT: Owner.
LIAM: But is he human?
MATT: He's human.
ORION: I'm going to approach him and I'm going to
cast Mage Hand. I'm going to have it float right up
in front of me. I'm like, now, you better start
cooperating, because it seems to me that you're
getting very nervous. And we don't want to do
anything. Nor do we want to leave. All we want is
information. I guess we want to know what you want
to know, too. We want a lot of information. So
start talking and stop acting like a fool.
MATT: Make an intimidation check.
LIAM: He's sometimes hard to follow, but you don't
want to fuck with him.
ORION: 15.
MATT: 15? As you do this, between you standing,
he's in the process of standing up, and he was
reaching for something under one of the cushions.
As you do that, he glances about the room, looks
over to you specifically, and back to the
dragonborn, the dwarf.
MARISHA: And I say, and whatever weapon you were
about to brandish,
you'd best wise to leave it be.
MATT: "You realize, you may have just alerted
pretty much the entirety of my guard to this
"establishment. They'll be descending on this room
soon."
MARISHA: And you realize that this is only because
of your doing?
MATT: He sits down on the cushion again.
WIL: And Thorbir looks at him and goes, okay. And
pulls his greataxe out and leans on his greataxe.
ORION: I disperse the magic hand.
MARISHA: I say, now. Our quarrel is not with you.
We are not with the guard.
We are not with the Bastions.
ORION: More calm.
WILL: Yes, still doing a great job with the calm,
there.
MARISHA: I'm trying. I'm sorry. I get emotional.
I'm trying to remain calm, here. Okay?
MATT: "What do you wish to know?"
WILL: Once again, do you still have Lord Tyrell's
possessions?
MATT: "His possessions are not under my keeping,
no."
ORION: There we go. Thank you. Where are they?
MATT: "I have no idea."
WILL: I want to do a perception check.
MATT: This would be insight, yeah.
WILL: Insight check. Nice, where are we? Ooh, wow.
26.
MATT: 26.
WIL: What's that like?
WILL: That's 29 of your rolls, strangely enough.
(laughter)
MATT: Looking at you tense. He's fumbling lie
after lie right now.
WILL: It's just, you could easily tell.
MATT: Yeah. For you especially, all the signs are
there, the quivering to his voice, his eyes
darting from person to person. He's still
covering.
WILL: Okay, you're sitting in a room now with a
whole bunch of people that want to hurt you. So
it's obvious that you're lying. What do you know,
or this guy and this guy
are going to dragon and axe you.
MATT: "Look, what happened was unfortunate. There
are things beyond your understanding or control
"involved here."
WIL: Oh, I don't know, we can understand a lot.
ORION: We fought a beholder before.
MARISHA: Do not take us for fools who just walked
in here without a clue.
LIAM: I walk forward, I pull out Dagger of Venom
and I drop a little bead of black down the blade
and I hold it just about a centimeter under his
neck. I've all run out of patience, friend. We're
here to help this city and you're going to help
us. Talk.
MATT: Make an intimidation check with advantage
because of this whole setup here.
MARISHA: Dear god, so many. Come on.
LIAM: 20.
MATT: "They'll kill me if I say anything."
WILL: We're going to kill you now.
LIAM: Now or later, friend.
ORION: And we could protect you from them. Or it.
MATT: "This establishment. I am not the owner. I
am a figurehead. Something else currently pulls
"the strings from behind."
MARISHA: Something else?
ORION: As we said, it.
MATT: And he looks off, past you, just over your
shoulder.
LIAM: Perception check.
MARISHA: Oh, son of a bitch.
LIAM: 23.
MATT: You glance over your shoulder briefly and at
this point you can see the door is partially ajar,
and you can see in what little light there is a
dwarven face staring through the passage that then
slams the door shut quickly and you hear
footsteps.
MARISHA and WILL: Was that Hosin?
MATT: That was Hosin, yeah.
MARISHA: Fucking Hosin.
WILL: Thanks a lot, hoser!
MATT: He's shaking his head now, the blade there,
as you hear the feet running off now.
MARISHA: I'm going-- something tiny and fast.
What's tiny and fast?
LIAM: Mouse, rat.
MARISHA: I'm going rat, and I'm going after
Hosin.
MATT: All right. You guys watch as Keyleth all of
a sudden grasps the side of her armor and then her
form shrinks down to a tiny rat, then darts
underneath.
LIAM: I'm going to bap this guy in the head. I'm
going to just flip the blade and strike him across
the forehead.
ORION: As I see her do this, I open the scroll of
Polymorph. I do Polymorph on myself, and I turn
myself into a gadfly. And follow.
MATT: Okay. The scroll is consumed and gone. You
turn into a fly and follow, as well. Two of your
party members just shrunk and vanished and went
off as creatures.
You, go ahead and roll for an attack.
LIAM: Okay, so on a surprise, it's advantage. So
19's pretty good. I'll take the 19
over the two. So that's 19 plus-- 30.
MATT: That hits, go ahead and roll sneak attack
damage on that.
LIAM: Okay, sneak attack damage. Is this a
surprise because he didn't know it was coming?
MATT: Yes, it is.
LIAM: It is? So because of my assassinate feat,
then this is a critical hit. So just the sneak
attack damage? Okay, four, eight, ten, 12, 15, 21,
42.
MATT: With 42? Yeah, you (whack). He's out like a
light. Lights off, face on a pillow. The two
women squeal in reaction. You guys, as you
rush under the door, what are you guys doing?
WIL: I've been leaning over to see what he was
reaching for.
MATT: As you glance over you can see what appears
to be a small jeweled blade that is hidden
underneath one of the cushions there. It's a
curved dagger that comes to a gradual point.
WIL: I'm going to take that.
MATT: Okay. So mark down jeweled dagger in your
equipment.
WILL: I want to search him. I want to see if he
has anything on him, in his pockets, anything.
MATT: Okay. As you are beginning to go through his
body, you guys have rushed beneath, and as you can
see, the dwarf, Hosin, is walking down the hallway
really quickly with his robes open.
ORION: As a gadfly, can I really quickly buzz in
front of him?
MATT: You pull underneath, because you had to go
underneath the door to make it into the hallway.
You see him, he's about 15 feet away, and as he's
walking, he's looking about very nervously. He's
seen one of the guards is approaching, and he
looks back over and sees the rat scurrying down
the hallway.
ORION: How far away is he from me?
MATT: He's about 20 feet.
ORION: How far away is the guard in front of him?
MATT: You know what, let me go ahead and pull this
up. It'll give a good indicator of the
circumstance here.
MARISHA: He does what?
ORION: Oh god, we have a map.
LIAM: Gentlemen, we need to move.
ORION: Okay, so he's right there.
LIAM: Mama Cass, what have you found?
MATT: All right, you guys are currently inspecting
him at the moment,
as you guys are rushing through.
ORION: Oh! So I'm within 20 feet of him,
whatever?
MATT: Actually no, he'd be back here. He's just
rushing past. So he's 20 to 25 feet from you.
ORION: Okay. Ah. I'm going to dispel Polymorph,
and I'm going to cast Silence in front of him. I'm
going to silence him.
MATT: Okay. All right, so you're using him as the
source?
ORION: Yes.
MATT: Okay. So as you un-Polymorph, he looks over
his shoulder and sees you take this form, you go
ahead and cast Silence, which has an opposition.
What level spell is that? 2nd-level?
ORION: Yes. I believe so.
MATT: Okay, cool. So that creates a sphere of a
20-foot radius of silence here. So he goes and he
does like a hand motion. Nothing happens.
Frustrated, he continues to run. I'm going to have
you guys roll initiative.
MARISHA: Fucking shit. 17.
MATT: 17?
ORION: Sorry. What is that? 17.
MATT: 17 and 17. All right. So you guys will both
be going first, but before we finish that, as you
guys are searching the body you hear all of a
sudden the sound of some sort of scuffle, a flash
of some sort of energy in the hallway that's
muffled between the doorway, and footsteps also
happening. As you're just starting to get through
his pockets you start hearing some sort of a
scuffle outside of the room.
WIL: I'm gone.
WILL: Me, too.
MATT: So I'll have you guys roll initiative, as
well.
WIL: Four.
MATT: All right.
LIAM: Not great. Nine.
WILL: 11.
WIL: There's 20 faces on this. So. I mean, look
right? It can happen. I know that it's possible.
I've done it in my life.
MATT: All right, so as you guys are turning, we'll
get to your turn in a moment. Tiberius and
Keyleth, you're up first.
MARISHA: Are we at the same time? I guess I'll go
ahead and cast out of my beast shape as well and
cast Hold Person on him as he's running away.
MATT: Okay. Cool. Just staying where you are? Are
you going to stay there or are you going to move?
MARISHA: Well, he's right there, right?
MATT: Right there, yeah.
MARISHA: So I'm just going to try and hold him.
MATT: Okay, so you go ahead and cast Hold Person.
As the spell releases, you can see the mystical
shimmering cage that seems to encapsulate, seems
to shrug it off.
MARISHA: Because he's not a person! He's not a
person. I should've fucking done Grasping Vine.
Goddamn it. All right.
MATT: Do you want to move or are you staying where
you are?
MARISHA: Yeah, I'll follow after his ass.
MATT: All right, you can get up to pretty much
right adjacent to him if you want.
All right. Tiberius?
ORION: I'm going to cast Telekinesis and grab him
that way.
MATT: Okay. So from where you are you go ahead and
you create your telekinetic force, you rush out,
and the telekinetic force seems to have no effect
on the dwarf's form.
ORION: It's the rakshasa! That's him!
MATT: Do you move?
ORION: No. I yell at you, don't chase him!
MARISHA: And I go, what?
MATT: Which you don't hear, because she goes [no
audio].
MARISHA: Yeah, I'm in the silent bubble.
MATT: Yeah, there is currently no sound coming
from the center of that area.
ORION: But she can hear me.
MATT: She can hear you.
ORION: And I'm not that far. You heard me, the
other way! The other way! And I move in the room
with these guys.
MATT: Okay. As you guys turn, you see Tiberius
come rushing into the room.
ORION: The rakshasa! Nothing works on him! And I
think that's not normal!
LIAM: You're speaking Draconian!
ORION: Yes, sorry! Rakshasa. I believe the dwarf
is the rakshasa. I cast many things, and Keyleth
is in there, nothing hit him.
LIAM: You left her with him? I shove past him and
go straight through the door.
WIL: You ran away from the target? Ugh. I stomp
past him in my dwarfy stomps.
MATT: Hosin gets just out of the sphere of silence
and then angrily does a motion
with a hand and then--
(shouting)
MARISHA: I knew it was going to happen!
MATT: That'll bring us next to Brother Kash.
Kashaw. What do you want to do?
WILL: I want to go back eight moves and catch the
thing. I think what we're going to have to do now
is find out where he is. Let's Locate Creature
again, if we can.
MATT: Okay, this is during your turn. Is there
anything you want to do?
WILL: Can we locate creature, see how close he
is?
MATT: How long does it take to cast Locate
Creature?
WILL: I believe it is one action.
MATT: Okay, so you can do that, so you mark that
off as another casting of that spell.
WILL: Okay.
MATT: As you rush out into the hallway and see
that it's vanishing, you cast the spell for a
second, you can see the direction of the creature
is roughly ahead of you and you also see a door on
the opposite side, this right-hand door open and
close.
MARISHA: He goes invisible? He's not teleporting,
he's just invisible. That's a big thing.
WILL: Yeah, he's here. He's still here. We can't
see him.
MATT: You still have 15 feet of movement, if you
want to move forward.
WILL: Yeah, I would like to move forward.
MATT: Okay. So you'll get up to that point with
your turn. And you gather that that's the
direction of him, and that you know that's where
it's going.
WILL: I know where it's going, okay. So we saw the
door shut. That's where he is, let's go.
LIAM: Don't run blindly in there, hold on.
MATT: Vax, you're up.
LIAM: I'm going to run just up past Keyleth, I'm
going to look at her as I pass. Not bad. Keep
going, stop there, and now I'm going to try to
sense traps.
MATT: At this point, there? Okay, so you can get
up to here if you're going to use an action as
well to dash.
LIAM: If I use, that's fine, yeah.
MATT: Okay, as you go to talk to her no words come
out.
ORION: Can I see what's going on?
MATT: No, you're in the other room, still.
Everyone darted out and you're making your way
out. So go ahead and make a perception check.
LIAM: Okay. 21.
MATT: 21. Glancing about the room, there doesn't
appear to be anything that catches you as a trap.
This hallway is fairly often-traversed by the
clientele of this establishment, and nothing seems
dangerous. That would be difficult to put in the
middle of a place and still run a business.
LIAM: Okay. I look at Kash and Keyleth and say--
Are we out of initiative?
We're still in initiative.
MATT: We're still in initiative. Currently, for
the moment,
just for the sake of the pacing on this.
WIL: I'm going as far as I can down the hall
toward the direction of the bad guy.
MATT: Okay. That gets you to about there. Cool,
that ends that turn, at which point three of the
bouncers then start pushing through the silks. One
of them pushes his way here, this one pushes
aside, and they come out, weapons drawn, seeing
all of you there, and one of them goes [no audio].
That's their turn, but it looks like they're ready
to jump into some sort of combat circumstance.
That brings us to the top of the round, Tiberius,
you're up.
ORION: Where'd you say the guards came from?
MATT: They came from the main room, where the
silks are that separate the hallway from the main
area. And you start hearing people shouting and
some slight yelps and screams from the other
room.People who seem freaked out by the sudden
rise in energy.
ORION: What was that guy's name? Lohan?
WIL: Hosin?
ORION: Hosin?
WIL: The dwarf is Hosin. The other guy is Vince.
ORION: I just disperse Silence, and before I go
out, I turn into Hosin. Alter Self.
MATT: Okay, so you use your action to cast Alter
Self. You take Hosin's form, step out, closing the
door behind you.
ORION: How did he sound, again?
MATT: How did he sound?
ORION: I don't remember.
MARISHA: He's a dwarf.
WILL: He was Scottish, but fancy Scottish.
LIAM: He's glam rock. Glam rock.
ORION: Oh, right, right. What's all this noise out
here?
What are you bothering my friends for? Guards!
MATT: The guards look over confused and, "We heard
there was a--"
ORION: Everything's fine. These are friends. Get
on with your business. Get back on patrol. Make
sure nothing happens or I'll have your heads.
MATT: Make a deception check.
MARISHA: Oh, come on, Tiberius.
ORION: 28.
MATT: The guards look at each other. "All right,
but if anything happens again, there's a problem,
"let us know. We'll be at the ready." They sheathe
their weapons and look untrustingly to the rest of
your group with your weapons currently drawn and
step back--
ORION: Go on, get out.
MATT: They disappear back into the main room and
they start calming down some of the other patrons
who are starting to peek around them, trying to
see what's going on, the action. Some look smiling
and curious to see what's happening, and they're,
"Go back to your tables. It's fine; there's no
"problem." And they disperse the energy.
LIAM: Not bad, Tiberius.
MARISHA: With that, I continue with the charade
and loop my arm around Vax and say, shall we go
into that room?
LIAM: Just a moment, dear. Pull out the same
poisoned blade and start walking down that hall a
little further, and I want to see if I sense any
traps further ahead.
MATT: Okay, to about there? Make a perception
check.
LIAM: Natural 20.
WIL: And balance was restored to the universe. Oh
god, don't do that! Come on!
MATT: Put it away. Watch as the dice just like
turns to dust.
WIL: It's the end of Raiders.
MATT: Exactly. You glance about the room as you're
walking forward carefully, looking at the
floorboards, looking at the tapestries on the
walls, looking for anything that would be out of
sorts, and your eyes very keen to find anything
out of the ordinary. The room thankfully does not
appear to have anything specifically trapped. It
seems fairly safe.
LIAM: Oh. Okay. And those are doors up there?
MATT: Yeah. Door to the right, door to the left.
LIAM: Would that check include the doors
themselves?
MATT: I would say with a natural 20, yes. The
doors both also seem to be functional doors, not
designed with any sort of trap attached.
LIAM: All right. Pressing my ear to the door on my
left.
MATT: Okay. Listen to it. Perception roll.
LIAM: So many. Six.
MATT: Seems fairly quiet.
ORION: If we've stopped pursuing, does that take
us out of initiative?
MATT: You guys are not, you guys are not currently
in initiative because you're not in the thick of
battle. You managed to disperse the conflict.
LIAM: I want to do it at the other door as well.
MATT: All right, you step to the other door. You
guys want to do anything else while you're waiting
on him?
WIL: I'm just going to come, I want to get as
close to him as I can and I'm ready for a fight.
MARISHA: Yeah, I follow.
ORION: Thorbir. Do you have an extra sword or arm
on you? Perhaps a shortsword?
WIL: I give him the jeweled dagger.
LIAM: That one's a 19.
MATT: 19? Listening, you hear what sounds like a
slight (creak) sound, some sort of a scooting of
wood on wood, and then silence.
LIAM: Kick in the door. Hard as I can.
MATT: Okay. Make a strength roll. This would be
straight strength.
LIAM: Wait, that's the wrong guy. 12. 14.
ORION: As he's doing that, I'm going to drink a
potion of frost giant strength.
MATT: Okay. You slam your foot into the door. Oh,
that was the foot that you just got healed. Oh,
that's going to bruise. That's really going to
bruise.
LIAM: Keyleth-- Coralin, darling, could you come
up here please?
MARISHA: Yes? Did you stub your toe, darling?
LIAM: Yeah. I think I want to get this door open
quickly, please.
WIL: I'm going to hit the door with my axe.
MATT: Okay. Go for it and roll. What did you
roll?
LIAM: A one!
MARISHA: No way! It's a lie. If it wasn't live, no
one would believe it.
WIL: I rolled a one. Because it is what I do.
MATT: I'm going to test this theory. I'm going to
trade you, for now, and I'm going to leave you
with that dice and see if it has any impact
whatsoever.
LIAM: You have to throw it into the fire, Mr.
Frodo!
WIL: The curse doesn't care about which die is
rolled.
MATT: Which is very possible, but there needs to
be--
LIAM: This is like science class.
MARISHA: Maybe it's because that dice was in the
vicinity of Matt's hair, you'll be good.
MATT: All right.
WIL: So how much damage do I take for some
reason?
MATT: So as you pull back the axe, you actually
swing wildly backward, nearly hitting Vax in the
process. You have to dodge out of the way as the
axe embeds itself into the wood behind you.
WIL: Ugh. Again.
MATT: Axe is stuck.
LIAM: I slap myself on the forehead and go ugh.
Pull out thieves' pick and start on the lock.
MATT: Okay, you unclasp. As you do, you feel your
throat seize suddenly as the cold liquid tends to
freeze up what is normally a very warm and very
fire-breeding interior to your throat. And it
thaws slowly, and as you exhale you can see the
mist, and suddenly your muscles pulse with energy
and you feel like your physical form is embodied
strength far more than you've ever felt in your
body before.
ORION: With his jeweled dagger, I take out my
dagger. I feel great.
LIAM: The freshmaker.
MATT: There's now the angriest dwarf right now
clutching two daggers as you get down with your
thieves' tools.
LIAM: Yeah, let's try to leave the room. That's
better. That's a 24.
MATT: All right. The door swings open without
issue. It's one of the easier jobs you've had.
LIAM: I should've done that in the first place.
MARISHA: Yeah! Should've beat it down and then.
MATT: You push open the door and find your way
into what looks like a very well-adorned bedroom.
There is a small table on the side where there are
some books stacked up. There's a dresser on the
far end that's closed. There is a canopy bed set
up. There is a small end-table on the side. And
the rest of the room has a nice circular rug
that's thrown across the center, and there are no
windows currently to this room.
LIAM: I turn my head to everyone and just mouth
the words-- and perception check the room.
MARISHA: Can I perception check, as well?
LIAM: 24.
MARISHA: Can I just look to see, I want to just
meditate and-- what did you just roll? 24?
LIAM: 24.
MARISHA: I want to see if I see any movements or
brushes of cloth or anything like that.
MATT: Okay.
MARISHA: 19. Not as good as Vax.
MATT: All right.
WIL: How long does it take me to pull the axe out
of the wall, and how far into Yakety Sax does the
soundtrack get while I'm up there and with the
foot and then I'm jumping on it and trying to pull
it down.
MATT: We're currently hitting the one minute 15
second mark. Haven't quite pulled it out of the
wood yet.
WIL: Okay, good. And my little legs are kicking
underneath me while I pull it down, cursing in
Dwarven.
LIAM: They call me Benny. Benny Hill.
MATT: Do you wish to enter the room?
WILL: I don't, actually. Because of all the sound,
I wish to turn my back to the room and guard the
hallway while everybody else is inside checking
out the room.
MATT: Okay, you're keeping an eye out, and you do
see that there's one of the guards just to the
side who's just keeping an eye looking over
carefully. You guys make a perception check,
looking around the room, you see there is no
movement, there are no curtains on the walls.
There is the rug, and most everything else in here
seems to be perfectly still. You catch what looks
like a little bit of movement of the canopy bed,
the material that's on top. There's a slight sway
to it that comes to stillness you just barely
catch with your keen half-elven eye.
LIAM: I would like to run up the bed and stab up.
Both hands. Clicking the Boots of Haste.
MATT: Okay. (bam) Click the Boots of Haste, you
run and charge up into the bed and stab upward
into the canopy. The material is torn asunder,
this very fine, probably imported silk is carved
into three separate ribbons and falls gently onto
the cushion of the bed proper, revealing the
hardwood ceiling above you.
LIAM: I'm going to check the ceiling. There's a
lot of perception. I'm all out of Luck. That's no
good. That's a 14.
MATT: 14, looking about, it's solid wood, you can
move your fingers along and you're standing on the
bed, you can just get it within reach, and feeling
along the board, it's all pretty solid.
MARISHA: I want to make myself soccer field goalie
this stuff with the door, in the door frame, just
really trying to see if I can see any brush of
dust or movement.
MATT: Okay. Keeping an eye out. You pull your axe
free. Into the hallway door in front of you. Not a
lot of strength. You pull it out and try the best
you can to save some grace.
WILL: Well done. Yeah, that was graceful.
LIAM: I motion Tiberius over.
ORION: Should I do a perception on that? Nope.
MATT: That ceiling looks pretty solid.
WILL: Can I turn, saving my back to the door, I
turn over. I do a perception check.
MATT: Go for it. You step over, you glance past
Keyleth.
WILL: Oh my god, one.
WIL: Stop trying to steal my thing, you guys.
MATT: You glance over and you're more distracted
by the fact that Keyleth is doing this awkward
field goal thing in the door to you for no reason,
and you forget
what you were in the middle of doing.
MARISHA: I'm trying to make myself big.
MATT: There appears to be no exit from the
ceiling.
WIL: Can I enter the room?
MATT: You may. You push past the confused cleric.
WIL: Okay, so I look around. I look at the rug. I
sigh heavily. And I pull the rug.
MATT: You pull the rug, revealing a wooden floor.
Plain slats.
MARISHA: You thought that was going to be good!
WILL: With a point, too!
MATT: You were never a fan of elves or half-elves
before, but this one's really starting to dig into
you a little.
WIL: I'll make a perception check because we could
total up all my rolls and I'd have five.
LIAM: Come on. Hey!
WIL: Look at that. That's actually better. 20.
MATT: 20. You pull the rug back. There's nothing
there, and you look about at the rest of the folks
with a heavy sigh. But the rug was on the right
track. Everyone was keeping high. Looking beneath
the bed, you can see what looks to be, in the
shadow, some little bit of elevated wood that
catches your attention.
WIL: I just, under the bed!
ORION: Oh! I'll motion over there.
LIAM: We're not silenced, right? So I'm yanking
off any fancy clothes I have on and I'm pulling my
Cloak of Elvenkind out. I'm putting it over. And I
spider under the bed and check it for traps.
MARISHA: I pick up his clothes and I put them in
the Bag of Holding.
WILL: Oh my god, she's folding the clothes. We're
in the middle of this,
and she's folding the clothes.
MARISHA: They might come in handy later.
LIAM: 25 for looking for traps.
MATT: Okay. Well, it's a good thing you rolled
high enough perception, because as you spider
underneath, your first hand goes underneath and
you nearly tumble and you catch yourself. There is
a five-foot-wide hole in the ground right beneath
this bed. And as you catch yourself, you can feel
a little bit of wind slowly drifting up from
underneath. There's some sort of airflow coming up
from underneath this bed where this hole is, and
you feel over and you can see that little bit of
wood that you saw looking forward is the top of a
makeshift ladder that is currently fastened to the
side of this tunnel that disappears beneath the
room.
LIAM: Is there dim light down there?
MATT: It is pitch black. You can see with the dim
light from your low-light vision a little ways
into it, about 20 or so feet from the angle you're
at, because you're not looking directly in. And
even just glancing over the side it continues down
for quite a while.
WILL: And it's big enough to fit all of us if we
wanted to go.
MATT: Independently, yes. One person would go
down. It would be single file, of course, because
it's a tight tunnel.
WILL: Only one way to go, right?
LIAM: You can see in pitch black, right?
WIL: I have darkvision, 60 feet.
LIAM: Is that dim or dark?
WIL: Dark.
MATT: Darkvision, you can see within a short
distance of pitch black and then a larger distance at
low light, so yeah.
WIL: I'll go.
MATT: All right. So we'll put in order here, who's
going down next? All right. And after Vax?
MARISHA: I'll follow my husband.
MATT: Keyleth. That's weird. Tiberius?
ORION: Before we go down, I'm going to take off my
outer-- no, I can't take off anything because
that's all my gear. Never mind. I don't do that,
but before we go down I cast Stoneskin on myself.
I cast that right now.
MATT: Okay. As your form shimmers for a second and
you see-- you notice this too, Kashaw-- his scales
almost seem to protrude into earthy spikes and
then form and solidify, almost like his body
becomes its own suit of armor.
WILL: Okay, that's cool.
ORION: Even though I'm still a dwarf, though.
WILL: I'm going to go, but I'm going to cast
Freedom of Movement
on myself before I go down there.
MATT: Okay. As you do, even with the encumbrance
of the armor you're wearing, you feel like your
form is a little more agile and you're ready for
anything that might try and stop your passage. You
guys begin making your way down, with Thorbir
leading the way. You descend for a good three to
four minutes, you gather probably a hundred feet
or more down, rung by rung, and there are a few
that you reach that are a little rickety. About a
hundred feet down, one hits your foot and snaps,
but you manage to catch yourself on it, but you
get the feeling this ladder is probably not meant
to hold someone of your heavy physical form.
WIL: Largesse?
MATT: Largesse, you could use, yes. One by one,
you make your way down until eventually you're,
you begin to see towards the edge of your
darkvision, floor finally begins to appear and rise
towards you. You step off the ladder into what
appears to be a small circular area that leads
into another ten-foot-by-ten-foot tunnel, ten by
15 foot up, and continues forward. This is very
natural carved earth, it's not smoothed stone, it
just looks like a tunnel
that was mined out of the floor.
WILL: Is it still dark?
MATT: It is still dark, there is no light source
currently.
And you all eventually make your way down.
WILL: Is there anything loose down there that I
can grab a hold of?
MATT: You can't see anything. Mr. Human, you are
in pitch-black darkness.
WILL: Well, that's why I'm wondering if I feel
around underneath me to try to find some kind-- do
I find a loose stone? Do I find a pebble? Can I
find anything to grab?
MATT: Reach down, yeah, you manage to find a
couple of small stones.
ORION: As he's milling about, Light.
WILL: That's what I was going to do, but he beat
me to it. Thank you.
MATT: So you reach down and you find a stone, you
pick it up, you begrudgingly grab your holy
symbol, and as you begin to recite your cantrip
incantation, a flash of white light comes gleaming
off the top of the dragonborn sorcerer's staff.
ORION: Dagger. Because I have two daggers in my
hands.
MATT: That's true. One of the daggers is now
glowing. The jeweled one, twice as pretty when
it's emanating torchlight.
WILL: Nice. Thanks for the warning, by the way.
ORION: Sorry, I usually just do it when it's
dark.
WIL: This tunnel goes in just one direction?
MATT: One direction.
WIL: I'm walking down the tunnel.
MATT: Okay. So we'll say for the sake of marching
order, who all is going in after Thorbir?
In what order?
WILL: I'll go next.
MATT: All right. Following Thorbir.
LIAM: I'll go behind Kash.
WILL: I don't need this at all, but I just wanted
to play with it. That's me right there.
ORION: I'll follow. I'll keep on Thorbir's six.
MATT: Okay.
ORION: I'll stay 15 feet behind him.
MATT: 15 feet behind? All right. And Keyleth, you
continue up that way. All right, so that'll be the
marching order.
WIL: So I've got my axe out. And may I make a
perception check to see what I see? To just see if
I can pick up footprints or motion or whatever?
MATT: This would be more tracking, if you're
looking for footprints, so that'd be wisdom.
WIL: Okay. Just a straight wisdom?
MATT: Survival.
WIL: Survival, hang on. Not my system. Eight.
MATT: Eight? Okay. It's hard to tell. It looks
like this area is not heavily traversed, and what
little sign of footprints there are scattered
enough that it's hard to make out a specific
print. But I mean, they have been traveled
before.
LIAM: I'm looking over Thorbir's head and looking
for traps as he walks from behind. 22.
MATT: 22? All right. As you guys are walking
forward and going through this, you get about 40
feet forward before you catch that there is a
slight divot, a small drop in the dirt, and one
looks like a section of intentionally placed plate
of some kind.
LIAM: Wait a tick. I'm going to go up to the edge
of it and try to inspect it and see if I can find
a trigger or see how it works. Six. And that is,
what is that, perception?
MATT: Are you checking to see how it works?
LIAM: I want to see if I can disarm.
MATT: To disarm it. Okay, that would be with your
thieves' tools. So this would be a dexterity plus
your thieves' tools, so plus seven.
LIAM: That's a 19.
MATT: 19? Okay. As you go to the plate, you stop
and look up at the walls to the side, and to each
side of the wall you can see these tiny little
holes, these little quarter-sized,
gold-piece-sized tunnels bored multiple places on
both sides of this wall. And you take the plate,
you realize this is a pressure plate-based trap,
and taking one dagger, you slightly lift it. The
second one, you eventually find beneath where the
trigger apparatus is, and you gingerly cut each
part of these spring-loaded triggers until
eventually the plate rises more and more and more
and you remove the last bit, the plate tips over,
and the trap itself is disarmed.
WILL: Nice work.
ORION: I mean, well done, rogue.
WIL: So I keep going down. I want to hit a thing.
MATT: All righty.
WIL: That's not a wall.
MATT: There is that. All right. Pushing forward,
continuing for another 30-40 feet, do you want to
check traps again?
LIAM: Again. 12.
MATT: 12? Okay. Pushing forward for a period of
time, there doesn't appear to be any change. There
are no more divots. You're keeping a very close
eye for the traps. And as you're walking forward
with your axe. As you're stepping forward you get
this weird tickle across your nose, like a spider
web of some kind that catches you, and you
instinctively reach up and brush it away from your
nose. As your finger presses against it, it's much
sturdier than a spider web. It's a metallic wire,
and as you push away (tink). You hear that slight
noise. Tiberius, behind you, you hear a grinding
of stone, and a loud slam sounds, like something
extremely heavy just dropped behind you.
MARISHA: Run!
MATT: You guys glance over your shoulder and you
see what looks to be a fairly rounded boulder--
ORION: I dispel Alter Self immediately so I have
longer-ass legs.
MATT: Well, Alter Self is gone if you're casting
Stoneskin, because that's a concentration spell.
Oh, that. But that only carries it for a few
rounds. It's been a longer time than that.
ORION: It's been 15 minutes. Time has passed.
Never mind. I don't do shit.
MATT: But yeah, don't worry about that. But the
stone boulder just--
MARISHA: Indiana Jones, motherfuckers!
MATT: Picking up speed with the slow decline of
this room. All of you guys, what are you doing?
ALL: Run!
MATT: You're bolting forward.
ORION: I cast Fly on myself and fly.
MATT: You cast Fly, pushing forward, and you guys
get a little speed, but you've noticed the
boulder's started to gather steam as it continues
down, and the pathway you guys are running is
going at a heavier and heavier decline as you push
forward.
ORION: Oh! As I'm flying, I turn around with my
ring and I cast Slow on the boulder.
MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make a-- actually, no.
This is interesting. Let me see if Slow would have
a direct effect on this boulder. That's something
that happens right now that I didn't consider. I
love when that happens. Unfortunately, it is not a
creature and actually it affects the physical
metabolism and muscle use of an individual. This
is just a solid structured object. As you release
the spell, you see the air around it poof, and
drift a little slower, and the boulder seems to
stutter for a moment, but continues to push
forward. That was your action.
ORION: Damn it.
LIAM: I would like to cast all of my spells in
succession for the next ten minutes.
MATT: I assume you're going full sprint? Okay, so
pushing forward, you all push forward, Tiberius
who has stopped to turn around and cast the spell
is not at a full dash, so he trails behind. The
boulder is currently gaining on Tiberius.
ORION: I Gandalf it.
MATT: So you turn around. You're continuing to fly
forward. So you guys just turn to push forward.
Tiberius, the boulder is nearly upon you now. What
are you going to do?
ORION: Oh! Awesome. Is it at least ten to 15 feet
away from me?
MATT: It is about ten to five feet away from you,
you can see it cresting--
ORION: Sweet. As I'm now frustrated, I cast a
5th-level spell, and I will cast my Obelisk of
Iron, three in a row behind me.
MATT: Okay. All right. You burned that spell. All
of a sudden, the room behind you, out of the
stone, pockets of iron ore or whatever material is
beneath the earth behind you is brought together
into a liquid mass and then shoots up in the
center of the hallway behind you. With each one of
these pillars slamming into the wall, you guys
hear these three multiple explosions behind you,
and for a brief second you fear the worst for
Tiberius' current status. Immediately following
that, you hear the impact of stone against iron,
and you see the obelisks bend with this horrible
creaking sound.
MARISHA: Keep running!
ORION: That should stop it right there.
MARISHA: I don't know.
MATT: The sound of the rolling has stopped.
MARISHA: I still don't trust it. Let's just all
get out of this hole.
ORION: I keep Gandalfing.
MARISHA: It could give way at any moment.
LIAM: Let's walk. Shall we walk? I think we should
walk.
WIL: I like to walk.
MATT: Okay. You guys continue moving forward, the
decline getting a little more difficult to
traverse as your feel yourselves now having to
feel your arms across the wall or use it for
balance to make sure you don't just fall. Also,
the moisture in the air begins to grow more and
more thick. Some source of liquid some point down
in the future has permeated what was originally
dusty, dry air with liquid of some kind, and the
air itself grows more and more rancid in scent. It
smells like refuse or rot. It's hard to describe,
and it's old. It's musky, it's terrible, and it
grows stronger the farther you go. As you continue
pushing forward, you also feel that the dusty
ground is becoming more and more mud-like.
WIL: Is it making my hair poof out and look
stupid?
MATT: A little bit, yeah. You spent all morning
treating it and it's undoing everything you did.
WIL: This is why I lived in the mountains.
WILL: Is there any light? Any light source?
There's no natural light? We're not walking
towards any type of light?
MATT: It's just a tunnel into darkness right now.
MARISHA: Does there appear to be any type of plant
life?
MATT: From what you can tell, there is no plant
life at all whatsoever. The moisture gathered on
the walls you can now see are dripping. The
condensation has given this tunnel more of a
mineral-pocketed look, and the ground is getting
more sludgy with each step.
WIL: I want to make a-- I'm sorry, you're not
done.
MARISHA: I was just going to ask: are the walls
stone or chiseled-out rock?
MATT: It feels like it's chiseled-out, hard earth
that has been packed and supported with either
small wooden things that are inset to make sure it
doesn't collapse at some point, a lot of that has
either fallen through.
WILL: So it could collapse at any time.
MATT: Well, if you do any severe damage to its
structure. It would probably be a bad idea.
MARISHA: Right, like drop a boulder down it.
MATT: It's not a mine shaft.
MARISHA: What were you going to say?
WIL: I would like to make a-- you tell me what
check it is. What I want to do is to look down
into this thick mud stuff. What I'm looking for
are tracks, and if I do well enough, I want to see
if I can get a sense of how fast the thing was
going. Has it slowed down because it's
comfortable, or is it still running?
MATT: Okay, make another survival check.
WIL: So I'm underground.
MATT: Actually, as a dwarf I'll give you advantage
on that, so roll again. That makes sense, this is
your place.
LIAM: Well, the higher one was four. The lower one
was a one.
WILL: The higher one was a four?
WIL: Remember what I told you about the Wheaton
dice curse? I'm sorry. Because no one will believe
me. No one ever believes me.
MARISHA: He's been taking pictures of all his
fails so everyone believes it.
WILL: At this point, I'd be amazed that he hasn't
helped us in any way, shape, or form, and cast a
perception check of my own.
MATT: Sure.
WILL: There we go. So let's see, we are at 21.
MATT: 21, okay.
WILL: You are useless. For the love of god.
MATT: As a pre-existing member of the Slayer's
Take and the man who was currently set to be the
leader of your group, you're beginning to wonder
if this guild is the kind of thing you really want
to be joining, at this point.
WIL: I haven't been in a fight yet.
MATT: True. But looking down you can see there are
no tracks, actually. This line has not been
traversed in quite some time, and the smoothness
of it says that whatever came through here did not
leave any footprints.
WILL: At all?
MATT: No. Also, as you guys continue, you reach a
point where, especially with your heavy armor-- go
ahead and make a dexterity saving throw.
MARISHA: Oh no.
LIAM: You got this.
WILL: Ten. So wait. 13.
MATT: 13? Okay. You're stepping forward, keeping
an eye out, and you look back at the group and
take a step and your foot slips out from under
you. (smack) You hit the slime and begin to slide
down the tunnel as part of the decline. You guys
watch as your cleric Goonies-style slide vanishes
into the darkness.
WILL: It's our time. It's our time down here.
WIL: Hey, you guys!
MATT: Kashaw has vanished into the darkness and
you hear, (screams).
WILL: (screams)
ORION: As I see this happening, I run over and go
like, this looks like a lot of fun!
MATT: As you lunge through the air, because you're
flying, still.
ORION: Oh. Has ten minutes passed? I thought ten
minutes? It only lasts for like ten minutes.
MATT: Oh, then yeah, it's faded. So you just slide
after?
ORION: Yeah, I go, this looks like a lot of fun.
And I go and I slide.
MATT: Tiberius slides after, body first across the
slime.
MARISHA: And then I see Tiberius go and I go,
(whoops). And I go, too.
MATT: All right. Three of your party have just
vanished into the darkness, hoping that fate will
take them to some place of pillows and feathers.
LIAM: I think I'd rather walk as long as I can.
WIL: I think I'm with you.
MATT: All right. You guys both make dexterity
saving throws.
WIL: 16.
LIAM: 16.
MATT: Wow. You manage to slowly make your way down
this tunnel, almost-- what's that?
ORION: My dex was 18, by the way.
MATT: It doesn't matter; you jumped into this. You
intentionally fell.
LIAM: We can't even hear you anymore. You're miles
away.
MATT: Yeah. You guys slowly begin to make your way
down the tunnel, as you can't even hear them
anymore. You guys, one after another, sliding down
the slide and grime going past you. You smell in
the air what smells like vegetable matter that's
been long, long falling in compost, along with
what smells like rancid feces mixed with mold.
It's this terrible continuously growing scent.
ORION: I put up my nose scales.
MATT: Until eventually, out of the darkness,
because you're ahead of everyone, you're outside
of the range of his Light spell, the slime stops
and there's just air.
LIAM: Hey, you guys!
MATT: And a few moments of this air rushing past
you as you're immediately stopped with a wet sound
as you impact hard into some sort of heavy spongy
matter. Thankfully, because it's spongy, you only
suffer four points of damage, so you can mark that
somewhere on the sheet. Mainly just from the way
you landed and your armor sticks into where the
plates are and just the impact was bad for your
body. But you're now in darkness, looking up,
sitting on what feels like you're on some sort of
strange compost heap. Looking up, you see in the
darkness this small light begin to appear, and you
see this dragonborn--
ORION: I'm laughing, by the way.
WILL: Can I try to move, since I hear him
laughing, can I try to move out of the way?
MATT: You roll out of the way as the two of you
scream down. With the light that now shines you
can see this is a cylindrical cistern of some
kind. It is a tunnel that is very tall, and you
both impact into the same heap.
LIAM: Shitter's full!
ORION: As we land, I look around. Oh, that was a
lot of fun. I cast Prestidigitation three times in
a row and clean us all up.
MATT: You try and clean what you can, but you guys
are like knee to nearly waist deep as you get up
and move around--
ORION: Or at least our faces.
MATT: Your faces are clean.
WILL: What a wonderful smell you've discovered.
MATT: And it's a terrible smell. This room is
quite honestly a mixture of long-rotting food, of
dried vegetation that has been discarded here for
whatever reason, a lot of it's hay and thatch that
has been just rotting and molding for god knows
how many years, and quite honestly, feces from
some indeterminate entity.
MARISHA: I use my Druidcraft to take out some of
my sage and light it
and spread some of my sage around.
ORION: You're making it worse. Now it's smoky and
smells. Prestidigitate it out of my face.
MATT: As you guys are doing this, you guys are
making your way down the tunnel. And you have a
ways to catch up to them, you do hear (squeaking).
You hear this, and as you look around with the
light you can see little bits of movement leaping
through this heap.
LIAM: Rat horde.
WILL: Rats are going to be wonderful.
MATT: Then suddenly, thrusting out of some of this
heap, you see a large arm or tendril, brownish-tan
in color just slams onto the side of it.
ORION: Oh shit. I go invisible.
WILL: You've got to help-- where the hell did he
go?
MATT: At which point you now see emerging from it
two of these giant tendrils, which at the end are
covered in these long, teeth-like spines, grasping
the sides of this stone cylinder, pulling itself
out of the refuse, shaking as it pulls itself
forward. You now see the body that contains it
with one third central tendril that rises up, what
looks like creepy eyes or nose-holes that are
looking around and glancing at both of you, and
you see emerging beneath that the body, this
large, eight- to ten-foot-thick, wide,
covered-in-slime body that is this gargantuan
toothy maw that opens up with a tongue that lolls
out. And that's where we're going to go ahead and
end today's session. We'll pick it up next week
right where we left off. You guys slowly making
your way down the tunnel. We'll pick up with that
next time.
WILL: Toothy maw is where we end it!
MATT: Yep. Toothy maw.
MARISHA: Tentacley, brown, twitchy eyeball, toothy
maw. That's all we know?
MATT: That's all you know. And some sort of
strange sound and other small things moving.
WIL: Do you give out prizes for the most ones
rolled in a night,
because I'm pretty sure I won that.
MATT: I do, and for that prize I give you a fancy
yellow d20.
WIL: Oh! Thank you. That's great. Does it have all
ones on it?
MATT: Shit. Yeah. How did that happen?
MARISHA: Oh, that's been your problem the whole
time.
LIAM: Congratulations, you've won imploding
self-esteem.
WIL: That stacks, right? I already have that. I
mean, it would be silly if I couldn't-- is that an
ongoing? Because that's a feat I took when I
started.
MATT: Yeah, yeah, I tried to tell you not to take
that but, you know, character flavor is
important.
WIL: Listen, it's a class feature. It's an actor's
class feature.
LIAM: After enough time, you can suck people into
it.
MATT: Well, guys, thank you so much!
WIL: Thanks, Matt. That was amazing.
MATT: That was a fun first round. Got one more
session with you guys.
MARISHA: Yes, and what did you think of your first
game?
WILL: It was incredible, nothing should be this
fun. Seriously, it was so much fun.
Yeah. Awesome.
MATT: Well guys, thank you, I'm so glad you could
join us and I'm excited for next week. And thank
you guys for tuning in, hope you're enjoying it as
much as we are. We can't stay too long,
unfortunately, I have a flight to catch very soon
to fly out to a convention in Columbus, Ohio. Zac,
I think, is around here with whatever we got in
business we've got to get down to with all you
awesome people. Thank-yous.
ZAC: We'll save gifts for next week.
MATT: We'll have to save gifts for next week when
we're not quite in such a huge rush, so for those
of you who sent stuff, we'll get into those next
week. Thank you so much. So for people who
donated, by the way, once again donated to 826LA,
which is our charity, which is a fantastic charity
that takes young children and young adults and
teaches them creative writing and writing skills
and they do wonderful work. And you guys have been
fantastic and donations go to help that charity.
Let's see, we got here--
ZAC: Start 813.
MATT: 813, all right. Lonsolo, donated $25, thank
you so much, Lon. Descendfromgrace donated $25,
thank you so much Descend. Gelatinousdude, oh.
Makes me happy. Donated $20. Thank you so much,
that's amazing. Undim1 donated $31, thank you so
much Undim. Wheelyfactoids donated $50. That's
amazing, Wheelie. Once again, good to see you.
That's amazing that you keep donating, I really
appreciate that. Dafeedthedargenzeen--
ZAC: There might be more there.
MATT: Dot-dot-dot-dot-dot, take the ellipses, it
makes it sound cool. Donated $100, thank you so
much, that's an incredible donation. Escherbacon
donated $25, thank you so much Escherbacon. Bacon.
Moonsol37 donated $20. Thank you, Moonsol. That's
incredible. Norkelad donated $75. Thank you,
Norkelad. Markinthepark donated $50. Thank you,
Mark. That's amazing. Freelander20 donated $15.
That's incredible. JDI35 donated $25. You're
amazing! Missbeezus donated $25. Missbeezus,
that's amazing. Heart goes out to you. Shepardson
donated $20. Shepardson, thank you so much,
Shepardson. Turdle, 1337turdle, donated $50. It's
got leet-speech, threes. Thank you so much.
T-threefrulthree. Williantw, t-w, donated $25.
Thank you Willian. Salazarjack donated $82.60,
keeping with the 826 theme. That's awesome.
Clever. Nightraver01 donated $100. Thank you,
Nightraver. Keep raving. NZV5005 donated $20.
Thank you so much, NZV5005. That's incredible.
Okay. Got a flight to catch. Wakedonorpg donated
$43.21. Descending numbers, I like it. Thank you
so much. Nausicaa451 donated $10. Thank you so
much for that. Killerpenguin donated $25. Thank
you, Killerpenguin. Damienopyro donated $30. Thank
you, Pyro. Bryancantlogintotwitch-- I'm sorry,
Bryan, that's pretty rough-- donated $30. That's
fantastic. Gatorcane donated $100. Thank you,
Gatorcane. It's got a nice texture to that cane.
Magnusrogar donated $40. Kill things, Tiberius.
Get it done. Foxyforce has donated $60.39. Thank
you, Foxy. Atherrex donated $50. Thank you so
much, Atherrex. Monos20 donated $20. Thank you so
much. UncleAni donated $15. It's appreciated.
Gargantran1-- eyes aren't working, but that's your
new name-- donated $50. Thank you so much.
PFWscott donated $12. Thank you. Jarmund donated
$100. That's incredible. Joker396 donated $55.55.
Thank you so much for all your donations.
ORION: Yeah, all this and again, thank you for
doing this because portions of this goes to an
amazing charity and we love all the people at
826.
MARISHA: We're going to be doing a video very soon
going to 826 and telling you guys all about it.
But yes, they're a great charity, so yes.
MATT: Give to them the hefty amount that you guys
have contributed over this time towards their
charity. It's fascinating.
WILL: You guys have incredible fans. This whole
week leading up to this on Twitter and everything,
you guys have amazing fans.
MARISHA: Now you guys get the fanart!
WILL: Sorry about what?
MATT: Sorry about the DDOS attack. That's how we
say hi.
WILL: No, seriously, it's amazing.
ZAC: Don't even mention things like that. Don't
mention those things.
WIL: It's more of a hug.
ZAC: Thank you everybody for helping us get to 6k.
They've already started a stupid e-mail chain
talking about what musical songs they're going to
sing.
MARISHA: That's amazing. Oh, and guys, Mary
Elizabeth came back to visit and watch.
So she did return.
MARY: Hi!
MARISHA: She's back!
MARY: And a special guest.
STEVE: I'm just going to troll. Hi.
MARISHA: Steven Blum, everybody.
WILL: Starscream himself is here.
MARISHA: Yes, he is.
MATT: Thank you so much for coming to watch, I
hope you enjoyed yourselves. Yeah, it's an
incredible time, looking forward to the session
next week. Are there any other closing comments
you guys want to bust out tonight?
MARISHA: I don't want to wait a week.
WIL: Really fun and really weird to be on this
side of that screen. So odd for me, and just to
play a character who's so different from the
characters I used to play before I DMed all the
time. It's weird to be a guy who just doesn't
think about stuff and like is not particularly
charismatic and anyway, people who have thought
about playing or want to play RPGs, when we were
rolling up this guy, I was so excited when I got--
what did I roll for him? Anyway he's got a minus
one. I rolled an eight for his charisma, and I was
so excited because I was like, well now I know
exactly who this guy is. I know exactly who he is
and it's going to be really fun to be him. It was
really great, it was really fun to come and I
found out about your game because Liam directed me
in a voice session. I want to be on your show so
much.
MATT: Well, now it is done. Dreams do come true.
Then we smash them.
WILL: Now roll a one and get us out of here.
WIL: I'll try, but since it's not going to count,
I don't know.
LIAM: It'll be a 20. 19.
(laughter)
MATT: Thanks so much. We'll see you next week, 7PM
on the Twitch stream. Have a wonderful week.
MARISHA: Bye!
