- I'm Dave, I identify myself as male and
I work as a carer in a care home.
- Hi, I'm Donna, I'm Dave's partner and I
am, well basically retired carer and I'm from
Canada.
I have known since I was four, I've always
wanted to be a boy so it's been a long time now.
When I was younger, there was nothing
around so couldn't do anything about it then
So I did it now.
- Just before I met Donna, when I was looking
on the internet for things because I knew
things weren't right and so basically I changed
my life around, I needed to do something about
about it, so I did.
- When I first met Dave, I met him via the
internet and had no clue until I decided to
come over here and then he told me about him
and it threw me for about five seconds,
I was very emotional because I thought I had
lost somebody that meant the world to me and
all it took was him to say "I'm still the
same person inside" and I got it and
I've never looked back.
- I went through the stage where I thought
I was a lesbian. But I knew I wasn't because
it wasn't right.
- He spent his life with everybody putting
him in a box they thought he belonged in and
I think if he had not transitioned, I think
it would have been a life of pure struggle
for him. I used to see the hurt and pain in
his eyes before he got to go to the first
stage of going to the gender clinic, the fear
and the worries "they're not going to accept
me, they're going to send me away".
He was waiting for his chest surgery, and
it seemed like one hand didn’t know what
the other one was doing. "Oh this one is supposed
to do it, no that one's supposed to do it."
and we were going to the clinic in London
and I said "That's it, no more" and I went
in and I told them and I forget the psychologist's
name, he said "really? I thought you would
have had your surgery by now, just a minute.",
when out, called the surgeon himself and a
week later, he had an appointment. But there
was a lot of miscommunication. It's the older
generation that's waited too long. Somebody
that's in their late 40's, in their 50's,
I mean, they should be able to live out whatever
years they have left of their life in peace,
being the person they truly are.
When he came home from his first surgery,
he was like a new born baby, he had his arm
in a sling, 70 stitches in his behind, full
of stitches in the front, he was totally helpless.
I worry about other people that have to go
through that that don't have that support.
I fear for those people because for them,
it must seem absolutely hopeless.
Education, education, education. The more
it's out there, they could have care sessions
about it to be educated at every level of
health care right from understanding the dynamics
of being trans, to the care and what's needed,
not just physically but emotionally. And they
need to have compassion and understanding
and be non judgemental because they're not
in that persons shoes, they haven't lived
that persons life so they can't come in here
and go "oh, whatever" because then you're
in the wrong business. If you're not caring
and compassionate and have understanding and
tolerance then you're in the wrong job, I'm
sorry.
How many people have died because they think
they can't cope and they don't think there's
any help out there, support, compassion and
understanding.
- If you want something that badly, just do
it and go for it because at the end of the
I'm happier in myself. I am who I am.
- There's just not enough support out there
for the people that are transitioning that
have either been disowned by their families
due to lack of ignorance or literally have
no body. They need somebody there to hold
their hand through it all because it's life
changing. Our lives are that much better because
he's happier in himself.
I just give kudos to the trans community because
I think they are the bravest people I know.
They should be proud, they are heros, he's
my hero. I couldn't do what he's done, I couldn't
do it. I takes guts and courage to stand up
and say "This is who I am and I'm going to
change me outside because I'm not happy".
The surgeries, the infections, the time off
work
- It was worth it at the end of the day.
- But who would just wake up one day and decide
this is what they're going to do. You know?
So be brave, there's always someone out there
that's going to care.
Hi I'm Cat Burton, I identify as a
transgender woman, I work as a flight
instructor at Areos Cardiff and also as
an independent aviation and diversity consultant.
I should have known that I
was going to transition at the age of
fourteen but it was such a horrific
prospect at the time. I look like what I
was, a fourteen-year-old rugby playing
schoolboy in a frock and it just put me
off completely and I locked it away in a
box marked do not open and that box
remained locked until I was in my late
50s. I was convinced at the time as an
airline pilot it would be a career
breaking move to transition at work but
then I was fortunate to meet two
transgender pilots and they both
transition successfully at work and with
support of their colleagues and management.
And then by sheer chance I was grounded by
the civil
aviation authority who'd found something
unusual in my heart trace when I had an
ECG at a routine medical. I simply
couldn't console myself at having to go
back to being him and I realised that if
I try to go back to work as him I would
fail, I wouldn't pass the simulator tests
which I'd need to get current again, I'd
be simply too psychologically damaged to
be able to do that so I phoned British
Airways up and said "it's gonna be Cat who
comes back to work" and the reaction was
priceless, the manager who was looking
after my absence said "oh thank God for
that Cat. All that work I've done through
the summer to find out how to bring you
back as Cat isn't gonna go to waste"
I was supported at that level in
that moment on. Literally was the best
four years of my flying career until I
finally retired last year.
I had a Welsh pathway to follow which is very
convoluted compared to the English. My GP
couldn't refer me direct to a gender
identity clinic
I had to be referred to the local mental
health care team, that mental health care
professional had to refer me to her
supervisor for money and then back to
her for the ability to refer me to
single gender identity clinic which is
in Charing Cross clinic. They then took
their usual 15 months to even respond to
the fact that I'd been referred, I
couldn't have been quicker or easier
in terms of the way
the way I whistled through Charing Cross
literally three appointments and I was
done with him but I'm really keen to see
the Welsh pathway improved and the model
that we're gonna have fairly soon of
local GPS with a special interest who
get some extra training to allow them to
conduct most of the healthcare for their
transgender patients locally and only
refer on to surgery or endocrinology as
needed and a center of excellence
in Cardiff to support them. I think that's
really the way to go. Every single GP
should appreciate that they're gonna
have transgender patients and they
should educate themselves. There's lots
of online training materials they can
use, it's all accredited stuff and if
every single GP knew what a transgender
patient needed, that would improve health
care going forward. It's primary health
care that they need. It's usually an
afternoon at most to get au fait with what
transgender patients need both when
they're transitioning and after transition
long term.
Well, I'm 66 now and obviously still working
really hard I'm doing 70 or 80 hour working
weeks.
Growing old is something that still seems
to me to be
something that's very far distant.
They say 60 is the new 40, well yeah I'm
pretty much in agreement with that.
I'm surrounded by family but eventually
let's assume that I'm all on my own in a
care home and I think that's the point
at which dignity raises its head because
transgender people do have needs which
aren't necessarily obvious to care
workers. A transgender woman that
suddenly isn't capable of looking after
their facial hair in the way that
they've grown accustomed to or a
transgender woman that has to wear a wig
and has to be seen then by care workers
without it who may not perhaps take the
greatest of care and presenting them for
the other people living in the home. I
think there are some very specific needs
about aging transgender people. Some of
which may be best addressed by having
quite specific care homes but for me
anyway that seems to be 20 or 30 years hence.
I've never been much to look that far in the
future.
It's been a life of concealment really I
tried telling my mother when I was 26
she listened for four minutes or two and
she said to me well I can't help you and
she got something she went to bed that
was upsetting if it hadn't been for book
I would have done myself in a long time
ago because I could escape into books it
did completely take me out of myself
that kept me going
Pamela might who became my partner
getting back about 10 years ago she knew
what I was doing because I started off
again down the course ongoing and she
said to me if you change sexes you'll
have to leave the house and they thought
considering you met me at the point when
I was lowest and right from the
beginning I told her about my situation
we'd lived together for 28 years at that
point and that was one of the factors
which made me pull back because the idea
of going out and finding another place
to live was very difficult the problems
that I faced growing older as a
registered social worker now retired
then I'm a word of what the problems are
not from a transgender point of view
I've had mixed response first GP I had
in the surgery I'm at at the moment when
I asked for oestrogen she was quite
horrified and she looked at me and she
said to me well I don't agree that the
National Health Service should have to
pay for medication like this for people
like you and I was a little bit shocked
with her so I said walk what if I pay
for it myself everybody else in Wales
was getting their prescription paid for
them she accepted that if I paid I could
have it and for about two years I was
paying for my prescriptions and
pharmacists would say to me you
shouldn't be paying for this but she
made a mind of sheep
it's on the notes on the computer this
person pays for them that I found
infuriating I think the best advice I
can give from my own experience is if
you're not sure of something that's the
trans person because they know more
about the problem that they another
trans people experience than anybody
else it's not a question of we want to
talk about it because a good fun it's
simply a question we want you to
understand so that you can do what's
best for us and help us
I actually ignored what I knew I wanted
to do and what was right for me I'm not
going to back down this time anyway I
can be myself since I've made the
decision that I'm not going back I feel
better myself even though I'm sure other
people won't be too happy about it
but I'm afraid I've reached a point
where other people have to accommodate
me rather than me accommodating then I
don't want to get with the end of my
life never having being myself I don't
know how many years I've got that I
certainly intend for them to be lived for
me
by me
I'm Annabelle, I identify as female, I work
anything I can to make a living but I think
of myself more of an artist than anything
else.
I spent a lifetime swinging backwards and
forwards to what I perceive to be female behaviour
and to extreme male behaviour and I toyed
with the idea in the 80s and the 90s but I
hadn't done anything about it.
I think the key moment was when my identical
twin became ill with cancer and he said "Look,
you've got to be yourself otherwise you're
going to drive yourself insane" which was
quite a revelation at the time because he
was always ambiguous about me. It wasn't the
fact he was anti trans, he knew trans people,
it was the fact that when he saw me, it was
like seeing himself and that sort of psychologically
threw him. I think the major issue in my own
life has been finding ways to cope with being
trans all those years, especially when I was
younger and a different age, you felt like
it was perverse and you were doing something
wrong and that's not right, it's not right
at all.
What has kept me sane throughout my life is
my art and that has been important to me.
It's provided an avenue, almost a therapy.
My interaction with healthcare professionals
have been very very mixed. My biggest complaint
is the different methods of referral, for
example, one person was referred to endocrinologists
and got prescribed hormones fairly quickly
and another person I know, her GP prescribed
hormones. I had to wait until I got to Charing
Cross, Gender Identity Clinic which was quite
a long time to wait. I had to see two independent
psychiatrists within Wales before they would
ever consider referring me and then I waited
12 months to get my first appointment at Charring
Cross. When I was finally diagnosed as Gender
Dysphoric and they could see I was serious,
and I had all this medication prescribed,
if you understand NHS Wales, because there's
no trans services in Wales, they have to contract
the job out so to speak to Charing Cross in
London, the Gender Identity Clinic and I came
back with all this medication I was supposed
to be having and I went to see my GP and he
turned around and said "Oh, you've got to
pay for this" and I said "Pardon? Do you realise
that I'm gender dysphoric and I need this
medication and now you're telling me I have
to pay for it, like it's a choice I've made
and it's not a choice, it's something that
if I don't do it, it's going to drive me insane".
Fortunately, it was a group practice so I
just went in and saw another GP, and then
he looked at the stuff, looked at my history
and said "Well, no that's absolute nonsense"
and I've heard a lot of stories about GPs
being obstructive or not helpful or not understanding.
I find not necessarily obstruction but a lack
of understanding and a lack of urgency. It's
like "you're not physically unwell, so you
can wait." Once you've payed rent and bills
and financial commitments and you're on a
minimum wage, to actually try and transition
takes some doing. At the time, I realised
that if I didn't transition, then something
serious would happen to me. My moods were
becoming blacker and blacker and I saw a light
at the end of the tunnel and being able to
transition so I had waited a long time to
actually come to that decision and then when
I actually came to the decision that I wanted
to do something about it, then I'm waiting
longer still. To make my experience more positive
and more effective, it would be nice to be
listened to straight away and taken seriously
straight away and I can understand there's
a need for evaluation and there's a need for
assessments but my god, it needs to happen
a lot quicker than it is. The longer it takes,
it's like you're on tenter hooks, you're waiting
on this edge to actually validate yourself,
it's like your whole life is on hold. It would
be unrealistic to expect every GP to know
the ins and outs of trans cares and trans
issues but what they need to do is listen
to you and take it seriously.
- The aim of this project has been to capture
the life stories
and life experiences of trans people over
50 years of age
who have lived in Wales for a significant
period of time.
It might not have been their whole life but
this is what they call home.
Learning from them about their experiences
of
whether it be about transitioning or going
through that gender reassignment process.
Whether it be about feeling included or integrated
within your own level of community.
Unfortunately, experiences of hate crime and
experiences of being misgendered
within their own communities
and by professionals.
A really important part is capturing their
hopes and expectations connected to ageing.
What they want to see an older life look like
for them as trans individuals
and connected to that, how they want to be
treated by health and social care professionals.
- Right from the beginning, we said this project
is going to include trans people being properly
involved
upskilling trans people to do the work and
the researchers all working together
where the work and the management is shared.
- What I found, we listen and mould our ideas
around the trans community.
I've been meeting people who have had the
grace and the warmth
to explain to me things that I didn't understand,
that I couldn't understand being cis.
People have been very generous towards me
in ways that I've been thinking have not been
quite appropriate.
I felt that I was in a safe environment and
I think that's interesting
but it was me being the cis person saying
"I feel like
I'm in a protected space."
- An important element to this was recruiting
researchers who are part of the trans community.
- Yes, that was essential.
It seems to me strange that I've hardly read
any research
where that's been the case.
- Surveying the knowledge and the attitudes
of people who are working within health and
social care
and to see how they may provide better
care and what the levels of knowledge might
be now.
- Because we have seen evidence in the past
of mistreatment.
People being laughed at because their bodies
don't fit, the expectations of the care workers.
And particularly I've seen occasionally people
are discriminated against
by their peers in social care environments.
Then the health care workers tend to go the
same way.
Because our generation were people who more
or less did what they were told to do: "doctor
knows best"
We're not good at fighting for our rights.
And unless you're somebody who is already
confident
and out there
there's some evidence of people from our community
being marginalised, and I think that's really
sad.
- The other area that we've done is an online
survey with health and social care professionals.
There's quite a number of different survey
questions that other people have used
about attitudes towards trans people, and
if you like, measures of transphobia.
We've used some of those but others are more
tailored to what experiences might you have
if you were working in health and social care
of working with people who identify as trans.
We've gone through different networks and
GPs, local authorities
that do include social work, care homes, networks
just to give some examples.
- Using a trans person as the lead in the
interview is making the interviewee more comfortable.
It's partly about shared experiences
and you upskill them, you really involve them,
their confidence improves and afterwards they're
able to go and do things
that previously they would have never thought
of doing.
- There were people who I suppose you might
say late developers
and those people have always had some, from
quite an early age, aware of something different
about them
and the commonality in the non acceptance,
that sort of struck me.
- If I as an older trans person had to go
into care because I was starting to get Alzheimer's
would they see my trans status as confusion?
Or would I get to a point where I suddenly
think:
"Why is my body like this? I'm not supposed
to be out".
- We know very little about older trans people's
experiences of ageing, the expectations around
ageing.
How earlier pivotal life events and moments
in their biography
has shaped and informed how they see themselves
now
and how they related to other people now.
- We really haven't studied what it's like
for somebody to be on cross sex hormones for
40 or 50 years
how early surgeries done in the 70s and 80s
are performing now.
and the care workers have no concept even
of what that's about.
My family doesn't talk to me, my grand daughter
does, but the rest of my family doesn't.
I look to the trans community for my support
and when I go into care, I don't want my family
interfering
because it probably wouldn't be in a positive
way.
- Growing up in our era where information
was television, newspaper and old books
you weren't going to find out about being
trans.
But with the internet you can just google
it:
"I'm a boy, I should be a girl... Ooh,
I'm not the only one!"
- Yeah exactly, it's not only the information
but the feeling of "I'm not the only one".
- At the end of this project, we're bringing
together
trans community members and a small group
of health and social care professionals
for a series of workshops across Wales where
we're going to present some of our initial
findings
and then use that as a basis to having a shared
conversation together about
what do we need to do in terms of developing
some good practice guidelines.
- Getting the richness of people's stories
out there is really important
for health and social care professionals themselves
but for other community members and broader
than that as well
and showing the areas where there might be
things in common, commonalities
showing the breath of people's life experiences.
- And I think it's really important that as
well as informing and providing resources
for the health professionals
we also inform and train the trans community.
- I think at the end of the day, we want to
ensure that Wales is a good place to be trans
and to grow older
