I'm so bad at talking that's one thing
that, like, no one needs to celebrate
me for is talking
I'm terrible at it I'm so sorry why do I keep making these
Shine Theory!
hey guys so I finally wanted to make a
video on shine theory because it has
been too damn long that people have been
asking me a million questions a day
about it - what it means who is for how
does it like execute in real life so, here it is!
first time I heard about shine theory
was after I came back from afropunk in
2014 and the whole time i was there i
would look at people who looked
absolutely amazing or doing super cool
things and I was just like I'm shit and I
was just not feeling really good about
myself
not on, like,  a really deep level but just
mostly like those people are doing cool
things they look amazing
I can see that and I don't feel bad
about myself so I said that to my friend
and she was like fuck I like shine
theory all the way and I was like and
was like "hm, what's that?"
so I looked it up and it was originally
by this one journalist I think her name
is Ann Friedman and the article was
called why the powerful women have
powerful friends and so basically she
went shine theory is you surround
yourself with powerful women women who
have a lot of accomplishments to inspire
you to do better, be better
be powerful as them, surpass them even, but basically is you take
their awesomeness and you soak it up so
that you can also be awesome and I saw
that and I was like ah ok but isn't this
super competitive and jealous i don't
really like the vibe that we're putting
out here acting like we're celebrating
women
for their accomplishments when really
were just saying I want to take what I
can from you and put that in myself
that was something I did not like to me
that way of thinking kind of maintains
that women are only valuable when they
have some sort of use that you can
capitalize off of
it's a very utilitarian way of
celebrating women's like I can only say
that you are powerful and you are smart
and you're beautiful if it means that i
can then also be those things that's not
something i want to participate in
first of all because i feel that hurts
women on a daily basis just the women
that you're interacting with that you
can't just celebrate them for being them
but then on top of that we're just
feeding into the patriarchy with that
shit like saying I want to be as smart
as you because I see that you're smart i
want people to see that i'm smart i want
people to see me in the same way that
they're seeing you
that's not something that i'm down with
like that's not cool to me...I want
no part in it no thank you
so I kind of took that and ran with it
and I changed it into being if one woman
shines we are all shining! one woman in
her accomplishments reflects well on all
women and not in a way where it's like
"I'm in cahoots with her, and she's fucking brilliant so I'm fucking brilliant!"
no, it's more just like, I'm proud to
stand alongside this group of people who
are so intrinsically good
they're intrinsically beautiful, they're
intrinsically smart, they have such worth
and I'm just happy to be alongside them
not for what they can give to me but
just because they are amazing and that's
fantastic I want to be near that I want
to like revel in your amazing this I
want to revel in your accomplishments
and I want to also shine that back to
you and be like I see your worth and I
see what you're doing.
Your worth
isn't dependent on me telling you about
it but I just want you to know that
it is visible and I want you to be happy
about it I want you to feel proud of
your accomplishments and be proud of
like your art and your talent and your
beauty and like whatever you have that's
going good
I want you to feel good about that
powerful women are not a tool for my betterment
I'm not using other women to propel me
towards my goals
women are not a means to an end
women are not springboards for my
intelligence, for my beauty, for whatever
I'm looking for
they're not there to make me better they
are there for themselves and them
existing and shining being good and
being smart and whatever
that's good in and of itself. One woman's
good thing is good, period end. It
just exists within her and that is a
fantastic thing and I'm glad that she is
that fantastic because that worth
does not need to affect anybody else
other people do not need to take from
that good thing
in order for it to have worth and value.
their smarts their on contributions
to their field whatever whatever it does
not have value when I can take from it
what I need when other people can be
bettered by it, no. it intrinsically is
good and for me
I've noticed that taking out that very
small part of jealousy and competition
has helped me see more of my self-worth
so one really like silly way that i
execute Shine Theory in real life is just
like if I'm walking down street and I
see a woman or a femme person
who's just like they look banging today and
like not for any particular
reason but I just think that they look nice
realistically should I just leave
them alone, like, how dare interrupt their
like space and, like, act like their time
is something I can infringe on... anyway
that's a thought for another day I would
just stop them and be like hey i just
want you to know that like you look
amazing today, like I really like your
hair, really like your outfit, you have a
really nice skin
the funny / kind of scary part is most
women when you first start talking to them
they look defensive like they expect that
you're going to say something or if
you're going to compliment them that
you're going to ask like where'd you get
your top from because i want to buy that
top and I want to look like that too or
whatever the typical things that women
say other women but they look so shocked
when you end up being like you look
really nice
have a good day and you just leave and
they're like oh my gosh thank you like
it was last time I ever had to someone
tell me I look nice and then move on
with their day like they didn't expect
anything from me
they didn't need my praise for
recognizing that I look nice so yeah and
I have a tag on my blog "Shine Threory"
obviously and it's just whenever I see
women doing cool things or like they're wearing cool clothes or they've said
something really interesting and I'm
just like wow that's that's amazing
I tag it with "Shine Theory". For the most part
I do this for women of colour
especially black women
just because I feel like the
socialization of black women is so
complex and like it's definitely a thing
that you move through the world and like
you're not often encouraged, you're
not often celebrated, only recently have
we as black women started to celebrate and
encourage each other so I definitely
want to participate in that and I want
to tell black women on the street that
they look great or that they sound
awesome in
that speech they just did so for me that's
my motivation for the most part is
celebrating women of colour obviously
don't get your panties in a wad like
it's white people too but this is my
motivation we have been generally
excluded from like most beauty standards,
from most places in the art world,  most
academic institutions, so yes I'm going to
focus on women of colour and there's
nothing wrong with that because I want
them to thrive and I want them to shine
and I want them to feel encouraged and
give them that little bit more power to
chase after their goals or feel like
their place in whatever group that
they're participating in is
enriched by them having been there and
then having contributed to it. I'm a
non-binary gender fluid woman my focus is
on women women are yknow... by patriarchy so
that's that's my focus
I want women to celebrate each other,
feel celebrated, feel enriched feel
encouraged and hopefully you know just
like make everything better because
women are the bomb and women do great
things bitches get shit done and I'm
just like very happy to be counted
alongside all of you
you're all wonderful
you're all super cool, y'all real nice and you dress
well
cool thanks
this lighting is weird!
like this video is making me feel very
insecure about the, like, discoloration
on my face but I'm super into
not wearing makeup so like what do I do
about this
suffer through!
perservere!
There's a cat at my door!
