♪♪♪
>>> THIS IS "ELECTION NIGHT IN
AMERICA."
>> I CAN'T BELIEVE AFTER ALL
THIS IT'S GOING TO FINALLY BE
OVER.
>> I DON'T KNOW, WE'LL SEE.
TRUMP'S ALREADY GOT LAWYERS TO
FIGHT THE RESULTS.
>> YEAH, DON'T EVEN JOKE ABOUT
THAT OR I WILL LEAVE.
>> GUYS.
WE'RE ABOUT TO HAVE OUR FIRST
WOMAN PRESIDENT.
LIKE THIS IS GOING TO BE A
HISTORIC NIGHT.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
IT MIGHT AN HISTORIC NIGHT.
BUT DON'T FORGET IT'S A BIG
COUNTRY.
>> MY FRIEND AT "THE HUFFINGTON
POST" SAYS SHE WIN BUSY 5
POINTS.
>> I DON'T KNOW, MY FRIEND AT
SLATE SAYS SHE'LL WIN BY 3.
>> OH, WELL, SHE'LL WIN THE
ELECTORAL COLLEGE FOR SURE BUT I
GUESS THERE'S A NIGHTMARE
SCENARIO WHERE HE WINS THE
POPULAR VOTE.
>> REALLY?
THAT'S YOUR NIGHTMARE SCENARIO,
HUH?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> BECAUSE OF SHIFTING
DEMOGRAPHICS THERE MIGHT NEVER
BE ANOTHER REPUBLICAN PRESIDENT
IN THIS COUNTRY.
>> WORD.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU EVER BEEN AROUND THIS
COUNTRY BEFORE?
>> AND WE PROJECT KENTUCKY WILL
GO TO DONALD TRUMP.
>> WELL, OF COURSE HE WON
KENTUCKY, THAT'S WHERE ALL THE
RACISTS ARE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> ALL OF THEM ARE IN KENTUCKY?
>> OH, SHE'S GOT VERMONT.
>> OH, SNAP, VERMONT!
THREE ELECTORAL VOTES!
THAT'S A POWER GRAB.
>> OKAY.
THIS SAYS FLORIDA IS TOO CLOSE
TO CALL.
>> OKAY, NO, IT SAYS TOO EARLY
TO CALL.
THERE'S ONLY 1% IN.
>> I'M JUST GOING TO GO AHEAD
AND CALL IT.
FLORIDA'S GOING BLUE.
TO LATINOS!
>> TO LATINOS!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WELL, OF COURSE HE'S GOING TO
WIN OHIO, WE KNEW THAT.
IF WE CAN GET PENNSYLVANIA,
FLORIDA, AND NORTH CAROLINA, WE
DON'T EVEN NEED OHIO.
>> YEAH.
IF THE INDIANS SCORED FOUR MORE
RUNS, THEY'D HAVE WON THE WORLD
SERIES TOO, DUDE.
>> I'M GOING TO GRAB A XANAX
FROM THE BEDROOM.
>> OKAY, GRAB ME SIX.
>> YEAH, I'LL BRING THE WHOLE
BOTTLE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> LOOK.
EARLY RETURNS ARE ALWAYS GOING
TO BE REPUBLICAN.
BECAUSE REPUBLICANS GO TO SLEEP
EARLY.
IT'S JUST A FACT.
>> I TALKED TO MY BROTHER-IN-LAW
AT CBS.
HE SAYS TRUMP'S GOING TO WIN
FLORIDA.
>> WELL.
I GUESS LATINOS DIDN'T HEAR
ABOUT YOUR TOAST.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HEY, GUYS, WHAT DID I MISS?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> LARRY, TRUMP MIGHT ACTUALLY
WIN.
>> HA HA HA!
I MEAN, OF COURSE, WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
>> I TRIED TO TELL THEM THAT.
>> WHAT IS HAPPENING?
WHY ARE WOMEN EVEN VOTING FOR
HIM?
>> YEAH, I DON'T GET YOU LADIES.
I MEAN, THE COUNTRY'S 55% WOMEN.
I MEAN, IF THE COUNTRY WAS 55%
BLACK?
WELL, WE'D HAVE TONS OF BLACK
PRESIDENTS.
FLAVOR FLAV WOULD BE PRESIDENT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OKAY.
ALL SHE HAS TO DO IS COME BACK
AND WIN WISCONSIN, COME BACK AND
WIN MICHIGAN, COME BACK AND WIN
PENNSYLVANIA.
>> SOME OF THE COUNTIES, THE
URBAN COUNTIES, THEY'RE SO --
BLACK PEOPLE VOTE LATE!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH, LET'S HOPE THERE'S
100,000 OF US IN GREEN BAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THOSE BROTHERS LOVE THE PACKERS.
>> YOU NEVER KNOW, GUYS.
ALASKA'S STILL OUT THERE.
>> WE'RE NOW CALLING ALASKA FOR
DONALD TRUMP.
>> OH MY GOD.
I THINK AMERICA IS RACIST.
>> OH MY GOD!
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU KNOW, I REMEMBER MY GREAT
GRANDFATHER TOLD ME SOMETHING
LIKE THAT.
BUT HE WAS LIKE A SLAVE OR
SOMETHING, I DON'T KNOW.
>> I -- I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
WHY AREN'T PEOPLE TURNING OUT
FOR HILLARY THE WAY THEY DID FOR
BARACK OBAMA?
>> I MEAN, MAYBE BECAUSE YOU'RE
REPLACING A CHARISMATIC
40-YEAR-OLD BLACK GUY WITH A
70-YEAR-OLD WHITE WOMAN.
THAT'S LIKE THE KNICKS REPLACING
PATRICK EWING WITH NEIL PATRICK
HARRIS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> AND DONALD TRUMP HAS BEEN
ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES.
>> YOU GUYS WERE RIGHT.
IT WAS A HISTORIC NIGHT.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
EIGHT YEARS ARE GOING TO FLY BY.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH, BUT DON'T WORRY, IT'S
ALL GOING TO BE WHITE.
>> BUT WHAT ABOUT UNDOCUMENTED
IMMIGRANTS?
>> THEY'RE NOT GOING NOWHERE,
COME ON.
YOU ACT LIKE EVERYBODY TRYING TO
PICK THEIR OWN STRAWBERRIES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THIS IS, THIS IS CRAZY.
I MEAN, DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S
LIKE TO BE A WOMAN IN THIS
COUNTRY WHERE YOU CAN'T GET
AHEAD NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO?
>> OH, GEEZ, I DON'T KNOW.
I'LL PUT MY THINKING CAP ON FOR
THAT ONE AND GET BACK TO YOU.
>> NO, COME ON, YOU GUYS.
GET SOME REST.
YOU GOT A BIG DAY OF MOPING AND
WRITING ON FACEBOOK TOMORROW.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> THIS IS THE MOST SHAMEFUL
THING AMERICA HAS EVER DONE.
>> HA HA HA!
>> HA HA HA!
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
