what's up guys welcome to the tmg
podcast this is actually
today's episode today's free episode
but if you want uh the bonus episode
that went up today as well
you can find that on our patreon that's
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the free episode will be ad free as well
on there so
uh and if not thanks and enjoy this one
peace peace
hello i think i i think i almost died
last night
really yeah how actually
okay i want to know if anyone is if
anyone knows anything about electricity
about wattage about amps
about joules i don't know what other uh
units electricity is measured in oh um
uh uh amber and i already said amp and
pin watts um
fucking um vibes yeah
vibes that's a fan of electricity yeah
yeah like sort of chemistry like the
electricity you're giving me it's like
the vibes mm-hmm
so yeah you almost die though so i i was
um
i was in bed and i was wearing my
necklace okay and i took it off
and i dropped it and it landed on top of
my power bar
that like my uh phone charger is plugged
into okay and i think one of the ends
went in one of the holes
and the other end was touching another
like the other side of
of the phone charger or something like
that because when i picked it up it
blew up like a fucking giant spark it
exploded pretty much and i
like fell back i think if i was touching
the ground maybe i would have like died
because i was on my bed so i wasn't
grounded i like i'm just
honestly just trying to trying to uh
you know um like
collect my seventh grade uh knowledge
about electricity and circuits and stuff
like that yeah so any scientists in the
chat
let us know if cody almost died
um and then afterwards i look down i
look at my necklace and it's
blown in half the phone charger is all
black
on it i feel like i almost died
i mean you definitely yeah yeah yeah
that's um that's easily like you know
you could put that like in a song or
something you think i'm saying
like yeah yeah like like dwp came to get
me
i'm saying like dwp just tried to kill
you bro
like we what we should do is stop this
podcast and realize and figure out how
we're going to get them back because
not only did they fucking snatch your
chain but they almost killed you
are we beefing now with dwp or b with
dwp ddwp snatch my boy's chain that's
what they that's what they did
they didn't even snatch it they just
blew it up they blew up my voice
which is even worse of a move could you
imagine just ruining someone's jewelry
not even stealing it
yeah i mean how how could you like i
look i
i always look at you know rappers and
they have like crazy chains like that
and i just think man it takes a certain
level of not give a fuck to just have
that in a restaurant and just even eat
like spaghetti or something
yeah you know and yeah to not have like
a bodyguard around you at all times
that and just to not care it's like oh a
little hot dog grease
whatever on oops on my hundred thousand
dollar chain
yeah oh oh just wearing a mortgage
oops just wearing a down payment for a
house so yeah
oh that's somebody's whole salary
that'd be a hard ass chain a chain with
a pendant that says down payment
yeah or your salary or your salary
your rent
so mean
that's great just like specialized
chains per interview
like hey man i went and got this chain
for you and it says like academics rent
it's like what
like yeah i talk to conflicts i figure
out how much money you make
yeah i put it right here just so you
could know i talk to complex
and then i talked to your landlord yeah
figured out what your
annual rent would be this isn't monthly
this is annual we're talking 12 months
your annual rent and annual rent
here's the thing though bro it's so it
was so small that i couldn't spell out
your annual so i had to upgrade to
your your 10-year rent period
you don't even like pay enough rent to
give me a chain do you understand how
rich i am
this is actually i so i actually
calculated what this would be in 10
years if you deposited now
and compounded 5 interest over 10 years
this is what your salary this is what
your salary now is going
is going to be when you're 50 years old
could you just sit in there like oh
so um yeah the new album
has the baby on it and
oh wow that's like all 10 years really
right there right there in your neck
yep yep 10 years of salary all invested
damn so literally that this is also if
you don't even spend any so you can't go
on vacation
oh oh wow yeah
so that's so cool man um
so yeah track three you got halsey
that's like um
yeah halsey yeah yeah that's the track
called health insurance because we have
it
oh a ton of it way more than i can use
you got a chain that covers my copay
because
that would really hurt me
i mean bro that's i mean that's like not
what not to bring
up last week but that's what i said on
stream about fucking
after i got my eye exam yeah i like got
done and i'm like i feel better and then
it cost me half a playstation and i was
like what the fuck is this
oh did it yeah it was like 300 bucks
just to get my what
yeah it was crazy jesus christ i mean
like i don't you know
i think uh i think it's because i don't
ever really have like
good eye coverage because i mean i don't
think i have any
and mine is like 150 or something dude
i'm doing this next time we go on tour
people going to be like trying to infect
our eyes and shit
just a uv laser light oh what's up boys
a laser a laser pointer all the way from
the back row
yeah i just blinded them on stage and
you meant like in the meet and greets
people are going to be trying
to too yeah yo what's up good to meet
you cool good to meet you
a kid has an eye patch and he lifts it
up and it's just like a fucking uv laser
gun underneath that shit he's like
surprised
bro wait speaking of health insurance
i don't know what reminded me i don't
think we talked about this last week but
i watched the shia labeouf movie my guy
my guy oh my god tax collector
cinematic masterpiece oh cinematic
masterpiece
you don't even know how a movie could be
that bad with that much money you have
no clue
it's absolutely insane and here's the
thing if you hadn't
if you i didn't tell the other people
that we were watching it with
that i had already gotten a review from
someone right i was just like i want to
see this and i want to see if they think
it's as bad
right like i want them to remain
unbiased and
i'm going to judge this for myself right
right all of us within like 10 minutes
they were like
this kind of fucking sucks
dude i'm surprised you guys are nice you
gave it 10 minutes
uh we watched the whole thing no but no
what i mean is like you at 10 min
roughly
what felt like 10 minutes and you you
were like yeah this is kind of ass
it was like it was probably in the
moment where they were driving
they were driving back from the first
scene right so it's
child abuse and other guys we're going
full spoilers you haven't seen tax
collector by now
don't pause it go watch it and come back
yeah or just don't
just don't see it yeah it's a giant
fucking waste of time dude
dude actually so funny to listen to a
movie review podcast
and you never watch a single movie but
you talk to people like you have all
these opinions about film
yeah yeah yeah
yeah the director didn't really do a
good job with that oh what made you feel
that way
some podcasts
yeah i didn't see the movie also i never
watched it i actually don't watch movies
anymore i just
i just vicariously know about them to
other people it's great
so anyway yeah so the first um
uh what is the first scene is it the
very first scene
he like wakes up and then they have the
birthday party
wait that's the first scene isn't it i
meant i meant the one where he goes and
opens the office
and that girl is in there sleeping get
the fuck up
that's the first scene is it not no
because because he wakes up
and then um they have they're having the
birthday party and then he has to go
you know he does the whole like i got i
got to go to work and they're they're
making it seem like it's like
this is his nine to five right right
right sonny gets up and he
goes down to the auto shop yeah
bro yells at some people yeah and then
tax collector shows up and then they
they like threaten that guy dude
what was that fucking like uplifting
death monologue like they had all that
music playing while he was like talking
to that guy
you know he's like he's like i'll
fucking i'll come for this and i'll come
for that and they
do you know you remember what i'm
talking about yeah i think so yeah it's
like why labouff is giving his first
monologue
yeah and you're like but it i
see at that point even then it's like
okay i'm still gonna give this a chance
maybe this guy is actually a hard ass
this is a little bit weird that he's
like
doing a mexican like accent
like but maybe i'll give it a shot maybe
like but here's the thing is he supposed
to be mexican
yes so he's supposed to be he's playing
a mexican guy
well latino i don't know what what like
you know
yeah he's supposed to be yeah
anyway yeah it was just we it was just
like
pretty racist wasn't it i mean he's in
the fucking car on the on the way home
and he's like
he's like what does he say about the
he's like on a diet he's like i mean
good and shit yeah i was like
i was like yeah dude what like why
wouldn't
oh my god bro i was i was dying laughing
because i'm like who is this director
who is this and of course it's not you
know it's not like a latino of any kind
you know it's just like what is it not
no okay
david ire
yeah dude the best part about it is that
shia plays this tough guy the whole time
he's bro the tax collector right
for anyone that hasn't seen it he's like
the guy that's supposed to be the muscle
he's like the one that's threatening
everyone everyone's scared of him he's
supposed to be the fucking hard ass
yeah and at the beginning at the very
beginning he threatens this guy and it's
like kind of scary but then
the rest of the movie he never does
anything
bro you never get to see him use his
weapon or punch anyone or do anything
dude and then he dies he fucking dies
what a waste what a waste of a casting
you know what i'm saying like oh yeah
dude they pissed me off bro
i saw him getting like getting tortured
and getting killed and i was like
what yeah it's just like out of nowhere
you have one of the best actors
i mean one of the one of the most
sought-after actors at least right now
in hollywood in your movie and that's
what you're going to do with them
oh dude well here's what's funny though
so the guy
so the guy directed it he wrote uh the
fast and furious the original
no way and i'm laughing at this
wikipedia shit cause
on his wikipedia it says director and
it's in bright red it goes
no oh yeah i forgot you can see this
yeah
but oh yeah wait wait wait wait yeah you
could yeah oh yeah yeah yeah
this is no but tax collector is the
first one he's
not the first one but he directed wrote
and produced and
so clearly our guy is not a director or
a producer
maybe just a writer but even then dude
i'm like what he did uh he did uh wait
go down
he did fury sabotage suicide squad
it's kind of cool yeah he wrote that and
he directed it
well
2016 suicide squad um like
he's made good movies before how does
this one go so wrong
bro i like oh my god where do i even
start
where do i even start first of all did
you see what i meant by the editing
how like they took the scenes and like
they did weird like
three second advancements and all the
cuts so you're like i was i was watching
for that but i didn't pick it up
okay it seemed pretty natural to me i
don't know the first like moment when he
wakes up from the dream and stuff i'm
like is this like a montage or is this
happening
in real time yeah okay the one the one
part where i do remember that happening
is when he walks into the hotel room and
his wife is dead on the floor but he
like passes her and goes to the sink at
first
and yeah the whole thing is intercut
with flashbacks and i was like what the
fuck is happening
you walk into a hotel room and your wife
is dead on the floor
you're like you're gonna see that she
wasn't hidden at all
he he just dips right past goes to the
sink what's his face
which who the fuck does that in real
life by the way that's the most movie
shit ever like just
oh and then he turns around and he's
like my wife
it's like what the fuck
bro and then uh i like the one where i
feel it's most obvious is when
they first introduce george lopez at the
auto shop
first of all them talking in sign
language because the place is wiretapped
yeah
yeah just but they only did it that time
but then like later in the movie like
they're having like full-on
conversations about like murder and shit
on the outside i'm like isn't this place
bugged
and then and then like in that sequence
like
there's the girl when he walks in and
she's like oh what's up with you
whatever
and then like they cut and then they cut
again and then she's just like sitting
on the couch but she was just standing
by the desk so i'm like oh okay she just
fucking teleported that that stuff i'm
willing to let go like maybe that's just
me being nitpicky
but like like
they could have simplified that story so
so much
yeah yeah and they would do stuff like
they would build stuff up and then it
wouldn't happen
when they when they when the tax
collector and the guy go to that
you know that when they basically meet
the villain for the first time yeah and
the guy threatens
them and he says there's a new guy in
town leave we're not paying you your
money right and then they go back to the
auto body shop and they talk with george
lopez about like what their plan is
gonna be
because they're gonna attack these guys
right right
and so you're like oh fuck okay this big
battle is gonna happen where the
protagonists uh confront the antagonist
and then all of a sudden
all of a sudden just cut to this shooter
he's just dead
they cut to the shooters at the auto
body shop going crazy killing everyone
you're like what the fuck
it's this is even the point dude
they did they hit every fucking cliche
like in the book it was crazy it almost
felt
like it was like a meta it wasn't even
supposed to be a full movie it was just
like let's just take
every classic action movie cliche and
let's just try to hit
as many as possible yeah
guys the league guy was so bad
oh like i don't think hold on
hold on um but you looking up
ladies and gentlemen we um we have a
special guest reader today
um our boy uh
why don't you tell him cody well he is
the
swim king i would say the most amount of
gold medals ever
at the olympics yeah ever i'm pretty
sure i'm pretty sure that's true
and we're so happy to have him guest
read an ad on the podcast today
and that is michael phelps that's our
boy michael phelps michael take it away
mike take it away
yeah take it away hey michael phelps
here
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sorry sorry sorry i just got a text from
this from this fucking
repair guy um what was i gonna say okay
the
um oh yeah the lead guy i don't think
he's a bad actor i think
no so wrong for that role no yeah i
don't yeah i don't i don't i don't
i definitely don't think that that was
for him wait because
job was in that movie how did i miss
that really
yeah i looked up the cast and he's in it
no this can't be right this definitely
can't be right is that crazy
who is that hold on oh screen with this
while i was laughing that they had
fucking brian ortega in there
and dude the weird like
um the weird
like sort of meta on like
the bloods and and like
they're gang like oh yeah okay i was
like what
is this this supposed to be like a like
a
like a like a fable for like gang
members or something
it was just totally the whole thing was
crazy weird
it made me want to watch sicario so bad
oh yeah yeah like after the movie ended
we were all pissed we were like i cannot
believe
we just wasted an hour and a half of our
lives on that and now we just got to go
to bed
just that's oh and like the way they
they uh
they bring up the cartel and it just
doesn't even
have like no cartel member has any
uh like it like a cartel member never
shows up
the closest thing to it was uh the dude
who i forget
whatever his character's name was but
who's like you know he's like oh yeah
they don't work for you he'll hillside
doesn't work for you anymore they work
for me now and it's just like okay so
is he in the cartel or is he just like a
badass you know what i mean like it's
just
he's just like there's a there's an
enigma that's just all of a sudden there
and he's like the man all of a sudden
like he's
who that's another thing how would they
not know that this guy exists
they show up and he's got a full crew
already and they all respect
him it's like he's a boss but where did
he come from then they've been text
fucking here forever
dude and and like and then even when
they bring it up to george lopez's
character his character like isn't even
like fazed by it
he's just kind of like yeah whatever
we'll handle it and then fast forward oh
you didn't handle it you got your head
cut off yeah i
fast forwarded his head's in an ice box
that was another thing
at the strip club he shows him that i'm
like come on
dude bruh bruh and he does like that
weird like
um uh what was it
what's his name from 300 xerxes the
whole like bend the knee shit he's like
you just got to kiss
the ring kiss the ring
all you gotta do is kiss the ring you
know what's tight about live dude you
know what's tight about that movie
you get to see like five movies in one
yeah you know what i mean like it's kind
of it's like the neapolitan ice cream
with movies
yeah yeah yeah you just get a little bit
of everything
yeah that's true you get a little shia
sometimes he's white
sometimes sometimes trying to be mexican
his accent oh his accent is thicker than
the
other dude bro i know yeah he's like
he's in the car he's like
fucking i'm gonna die eating shit and
the guy's like
that's cool it's like dude
oh my god oh my god why don't they just
name him
something you know that makes him like
supposedly white-washed and then he's
just shy
then you can just let him be shya yeah
yeah i agree just let him be himself
also bro the tattoo though
i know where you're laughing now because
the only scene you see this hat too you
don't even fucking see it first of all
it's covered in one scene and he's
getting tortured and he's covered in
blood you don't even see it
and you got an entire chest tattoo for
that chest hand stomach
for life dude i can't even needing to be
going method for that role
like you're just like a guy in a suit
it's like a fucking snl sketch or
something like that
bro and then when they got david
castaneda in there
and and he's the dude from umbrella
academy
okay it's like when they have like their
little um their little gang meeting at
the
at the tire shop and they're all posted
up there in suits
okay yeah i mean some part of me
ventures to think that like shot callers
like that are not
gonna meet up like a corporate meeting
at least in an open
area like a fucking tire shop yeah i
mean like when you're moving like big
weight
and i don't know man yeah
i mean i i don't know what it's like it
just feels like no it feels like someone
it feels like you wrote it without
knowing anything about crime or the way
that
right right the actual like underbelly
of this stuff works
right like dude like
i mean like some of the concepts
actually could have been kind of dope
like
when uh sorry keep going when when
when they when they had the the gang
member tied up
and they were beating him and and they
and then you know
shaya and and whatever his boy's name is
they pull up and they're like
what's going on here they're like oh he
was fucking this dude's girl yeah yeah
and they fucked a guy up as like a like
a sorry
like that scene could have been good
yeah
you know where they like pull up like
they bring the dude and then it's about
to be some shit like that could have
been shot in an interesting way
but instead they just gave these guys
this corny ass dialogue being like
nah nah player what the fuck is all this
like yeah i don't know
oh yeah oh yeah typecast like a
motherfucker yeah and it hurt me
yeah that one scene i think we all
laughed at that because it's something
that some one of them said which was
like that was
so unnatural it's like you typed in
mexican gangster on
oh bro and just copy and pasted whatever
the fuck mexican slang
yeah dude who's tax collecting in a
fucking uber black
i know i know
in suits over black in suits
i feel like gang activity is a bit more
discreet
yeah so you know my favorite thing to do
was
is like whenever i see a movie like this
just go read the reddit comments
yeah yeah yeah just hundreds of people
being like what the fuck is this dude
oh man yeah i couldn't but i'm glad that
i'm glad to
i'm glad that i watched it just so we
could talk about it oh yeah
i mean bro the the craziest part to me
was when
uh when was his face sacrificed that
girl out of nowhere
oh oh my god he's just like praying to
the devil and then that girl gets up off
the bed like
she's naked oh just it's like
you just kept going through the movie
they're like he's not evil enough
he's not coming off evil enough what
should we do oh let's make him a satan
worshipper
and he's one scene where he's puts on a
goat head or some shit like that
takes this like like prostitute that
he's with and just
slits her throat and like what puts the
blood on him or something like that yeah
i was like is this a rob
zombie film what the fuck is happening
here
oh man and then they had that weird
music video sequence where he's like
doing like the whole satan monologue and
then you just had the video girls in the
background like yeah
oh yeah and he's like ah you know
fucking it's like a dmx
acapella like the flesh of the flesh the
blood of my blood and you got these
girls in the goat heads i'm like this is
if they just put a beat behind this this
would be a cold a double xl
like that's what double xl needs to be
doing is like that exactly yeah
that's it was crazy you know if you want
to do acapella give it some production
value
could you imagine they bring them into a
full set all right choppa um
we put out very all all of these are our
prop we put your various guns
um all different shapes and sizes and
colors we just want you to go crazy with
it
um yeah do your thing man go ahead yeah
there is that model right there has
consented as well to getting her throat
slit so
if you want to do that it's totally up
to you it's whatever makes you
comfortable but that would be you know
that would play great
for us so it's like um
we have a hundred people here rigged up
with um
all kinds of you know uh plosive packs
so uh whenever you feel like it there's
a little laser on this gun
and we're just gonna simulate like a
fucking
absolute massacre at your discretion
okay whatever you want whatever you want
however it's however yeah however much
you you feel comfortable
you want to pull you know a couple times
whatever just script the whole action
scene isn't expecting a rap in the
middle of it
yeah also when he fucking busts in
at the very end to kill the villain and
he has a machine gun he's like two feet
away from them
and he misses a full clip and misses
every bullet it's like
come on dude this guy killed your
fucking wife you why you wouldn't go in
there just
like right like dog that fucking
wrestling match they had in the bathroom
that was sick i was lat i was like dude
is this the matrix
like that's what happened in the matrix
right like they had like superhuman
strength going through the sink and shit
yeah i'm like this is funny because then
they flash back to his like tai chi or
his channel
or whatever he's training and he doesn't
use it
he doesn't use it that karate kid moment
i was fucking crying like are they
really doing a remember your training
moment
remember you're training but the thing
is he doesn't do
like doesn't he not use it at all he
just slams the guy's head against the
yeah he doesn't like put him in like a
triangle or like give him an arm bar or
something that's what i thought he was
gonna do that's what it implied
was that he's going to use like martial
arts to to submit this guy
but then he just like fucking slams his
head against the sink
dude i know that's because they got
brian ortega in there and they were like
hey bro we need a location and he was
like oh you can use my boy's gym and
they're like great
yeah dude the way that scene was lit was
dog shit too you know they just went in
there with the camera
they were like all right yeah just get
what we can in here yeah
all right guys fight
so yeah tax collector i think if you're
that movie could be better on drugs
it would be funny i think yeah if like
you're high
i that's the one thing i regret is i
didn't get stoned and watch it
i think if i was high that would
probably be the like uh
the best movie i've seen all year yeah
yeah dude i feel like i feel like he
went in there and everyone was just like
normal and he was like hey um
could you kind of dial up the you know
just make it a little more
stereotypical and they're like yeah oh
how do you how would you like me to say
the line he's like
like really leaning lean into it and
then they just for the rest of the movie
are like
damn i was sleeping and shit he's like
perfect
yeah yeah yeah yeah he's like you know a
little bit more
you know you know a little bit more you
know like play the part
guys like i'm not following what do you
what do you want me to do what do you
mean i'm just i'm not doing he's like
just be a little bit you know
like you'd expect what he likes
around he's like you know
like what's up fool like let some of
that in there come on yeah yes
sprinkle it with a little what's up
they're like i don't you just keep
staring at them going
this feels like a south park scene yeah
you know just give it a little more
efflue
i'm sorry i don't quit you know just
this little more
that's what's up
eyes guys isn't that super
racist no you're come on you're like a
little bit mexican
aren't you well you grew up around
latinos right
but you were you know you're in l.a come
on yeah
bro fool he's like come on fools come on
fool
come on i'll do it with you i'll do it
with you come on let's do it back and
forth
what's up fool what's up what's up fool
come a little more a fool
come on come on it's in there i know
it's in there
smacking his chest a fool
dude a fucking director with a comb over
just being like put some more of that
foo
in there oh fool yeah get some more food
maybe a homie you know just foo it up
put some salsa on it come on let me
throw a little
pico de gallo on there huh huh
put a little foo in there put a little
foo in your step
god damn it
all right guys we're gonna have a great
shoot today very excited thank you all
for joining the project just remember
um you know just general direction for
everyone don't be afraid to foo it up
we want maximum food vibes here today
connects his iphone to the bluetooth
speaker
all the homies would know what i mean
lean like a cholo yeah you guys like
this one
like a what like a cholo side to side
right guys
elbows up side elbows up guys side to
side
let's carry that energy through the
chute okay guys
bro i'm so surprised they conned all
these people into being in this movie
yeah oh my goodness man
i couldn't believe it guys my ass wants
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morning david how are you i'm good
feeling like a cholo you
same oh yes that ever says that every
morning uh
you know david i'll be honest you've
been saying that 10 days into the
production now
um and we just we just kind of feel like
you know
we should i should do it more yeah you
should
yeah david do it more you got it man
it's like every day for lunch
it's like tacos and oh my god just like
fucking the most
yeah yeah yeah just fucking like getting
like like
mexican food and like fucking tupperware
and like bucking his eyes at him like
i had someone's abuela make this for me
they're like yeah we're just gonna get
the catering man
we're good dude i'm dying laughing
thinking about
when they're like all on break and all
like the
half the cast is like speaking spanish
and then he's just sitting in the middle
of it like what you guys talking about
yeah yeah yeah yeah dundee yeah
oh it's uh
yeah oh my god he used to catering and
he's like hey george you loving it
it's 100 degrees dude i don't know how
to say
hot muy caliente
bueno bueno everyone
i bueno like everyone got the set and
they got the vibe and they're like
why did i get take this movie yeah what
the fuck did i take this movie yeah
yeah they had shya walking around with
this full you think it was like full
method when he wasn't on set
like just like definitely just walking
around outside the trailer without his
shirts like well some homes are like oh
okay all right yeah this is gonna be an
all right movie
and they're like okay i'm feeling it now
shia labeouf banging on people on set
don't fuck with the lights eh cereal
i'll fuck you up dog
can we uh can we get some makeup on
shia's face what the fuck are you doing
fool
just tries to slap box to pa anyway
sorry i'm getting carried away um that's
so funny yeah so el pollo loco for lunch
oh if you're wondering no boya loco so
so do you guys eat taco bell or is that
a that's an american thing okay got it
got it got it
i just wasn't sure i just had to ask do
you have it down there
or is it
you don't you don't have taco bell
dynamite okay just just curious
yeah just curious i've always wondered
i've always wondered you know
god i love me a brc though from el pollo
loco
oh lord bueno bueno bueno
god damn dude i don't know how that
movie couldn't be more
fucking insensitive man yeah
yeah anyway so go go watch the tax
collector man you it's
it's probably it's actually the greatest
comedy to come out this year
yeah dude i want to know here's the
thing though shia wasn't bad
did you think he was bad like
minus the accent that's the only thing
that was bad
oh my god mine is that he was good bro
that's what it was brendan shaw was in
the club
he was he he was in the club
i don't remember i didn't see him he was
like
he was i think he was like posted on the
couch or some shit
um with uh with like beside the villain
guy
yeah okay yeah god damn bro
i need a fucking roll like that i want a
roll where i can just sit
and then people are like hey you want to
roll you can be
no no no no no no no
no no i was like okay
no go over something new i'm like
i need to roll like that fool yeah
you're like what cody what are you doing
i was so dumb
hey what's happening it's your boy cody
cole and uh
i'm here with my boy noel we're gonna do
that's cringe
you're like dude what are you doing cody
what the fuck are you trying something
trying something different this is brand
new
yeah anyways die like today or whatever
we got like this fool he's like
he's mad weird and shit
cody's maddie we know maddie why you
acting like this
god damn bro anyway i want to i want a
role where i can just
sit there and not say anything not do
anything and then
but it's like a pivotal scene you know
like
like i'm the centerpiece about to do
anything
you're just kind of looking in on the
conversation like turning your head
directly to the actors as they converse
with each other you're like
and then i look directly into the camera
yeah you're like
and that's the scene that's it that's
all i'm
and then people are like that's cody
that was weird he kind of broke the
fourth wall
dude i was thinking about like uh
imagining like a a background actor like
doing something weird
and a director getting really fucking
upset and he comes over and he like says
some shit to him
like you know he's like he's like what
the fuck you doing with your hands the
background actor goes
you want me to do something with my
hands bro and then like they kind of get
into it and a background actor just
fucking dropping a director just like
just cleaning him whole set's like oh
that's what's up oh he's just saying his
face
he's like you just acting on real life
i'm about it dog you're just fucking
playing games fool you don't even know
you can direct these balls into your
mouth motherfucker
everyone says like damn he
you should be in something did you just
drop michael bay
you just fucking you just knocked out
michael bay
the 80 walks over like extends his hand
he's like yolo key low-key
that's what's up i'm gonna take care of
you you're gonna get fired from this but
i'm gonna get you on the next one don't
you worry
we've all been waiting for this moment
whole set starts clapping
yeah like slowly just oh
oh man and that's actually how um
um daniel day lewis got his start
that's how vin diesel got his start he
fucking yeah that's where the i'm in
your face line came from on fast and
furious because he knocked out michael
bay
and then uh uh you know
you know that wasn't even supposed to be
on camera they just were accidentally
recording
arm in your face i'm in your face
he was in my face i'm in your face
uh yeah anyway oh bad
go watch tax collector man get high
watch tax collector minutes
go watch that shit guys go watch that
shit now that you know
you gotta watch it going in knowing how
bad it is because then you can really
enjoy it
and really enjoy how like you can really
nitpick you know
bro should we uh
dog bella thorne getting fucking uh
only fans like yeah well so what is it
now
it's um okay she went on there she
promised
nudes i guess and then they promised
them for 200 bucks a pop
which is cool and then they ended up not
being nudes the whole thing was because
she's writing a movie or doing a movie
or some shit on only fans
are on the people that use only fans and
the effect that it has in your life or
something like that i don't know
it's a movie nobody asked for yeah and i
guess
she popped on there to do research
and then as uh an effect from this
was that basically she got off the
platform is because she scammed so many
people they like lowered
the maximum donation for like a private
image or something like that
yeah and they also increase the time
between
payments so you used to be able to get
paid out i think weekly or something
like that which is
i guess pretty crucial for people that
are like you know living
paycheck to paycheck i guess yeah you
know or people that like
whose rent depends on weekly payments
from
only fans i guess yeah and so they
change it where you can only get paid
out monthly so she basically fucked over
like
tons of people and then just pieced out
with two million dollars in her pocket
which is pretty unbelievably shitty
bruh she literally fucked
everybody on only fans yeah that's
that is so wild how do you how do you
even
bruh she was like i'm meeting with only
fans to
you know i'm sorry for anyone i've hurt
it's like you didn't just hurt people
dude you
fucked with their livelihood yeah
i wonder what the result of all that is
because it's been a few days
let's see bella thorne she apologized
on our twitter trying to find it
yeah i i i read it it was pretty i don't
know
okay only fans confirms new caps on tips
and pay-per-view content but says the
changes are unrelated to bella thorne
ah yeah right lie again
yeah i mean it's i don't know it kind of
feels weird if you're doing like a movie
on it or something why would you
advertise it so much yeah i wonder if
she was the one or publicist or
something was the one that reached out
to everyone and they were like hey she's
joining she's joining
yeah let's build hype let's build hype
because if you really wanted to do
genuine research wouldn't you like join
low-key and then like kind of
have it be word of mouth because they
don't pick it up anyways but like
and then to price your like nude at 200
bucks which is like probably the maximum
yeah like it just kind of i don't know
no no
it feels like she wanted to make money
yeah yeah 100
no what are you talking about dude she
just you know she's about the art
she's yeah she's offering her art that's
actually crazy
that she promised a nude and she didn't
have to give it
i think that's what everyone says or not
didn't have to but
but she thought that that was going to
fly i want to create
i want to create only fans like
catfishing and then i want to do like a
pay-per-view like nude and all they get
is a video of me like eating a bagel or
something
yeah yeah like oh hell yeah i'm like
what's up bro you got god
sorry sorry you gotta you gotta admit
though you got got
and they're like i did get get i did get
god all right guys we wanna thank
honey for sponsoring this episode of the
podcast because it's amazing if you
don't
if you don't use honey already what are
you doing you should be using it yeah
it's awesome every time you buy
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it searches for coupon codes whenever
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okay you go to the checkout i'm
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all you have to do is click apply
coupons you wait a few seconds honey
searches for coupons you can find
for that site if honey finds a working
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that's it um you know we've used it a
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any retail site i use it every fucking
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it every single day it takes 10 seconds
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j-o-i-n-honey.com
thank you honey bro you want to go on
down like some you want to get like some
deep meta what all right
you know what uh are you familiar with
gan
like don't do this don't do it don't you
fucking do it
no no no i swear i swear you do you
swear
i swear on on god and cap and all the
above
okay this is not a malone brown i'm not
not alone
you know i'm sorry if i celebrated too
much off the the malone brown
i was literally just like a fucking dork
on the night before christmas thinking
like
if i really get him with this because
before when we
when we do like the ligma and the sugma
it's kind of like okay
all right we're doing this all the time
it's not going to work you know it's not
going to work but now it's so much time
it passed and we're in as
you know we're in a weird paradox where
yeah
you know malone brown dick it's like
it's starting to make a bit of a
comeback so
oh yeah and there's more out there
there's oh yeah
uh there's more that people have never
even thought of
probably yeah now is it people have
enough time to really think about it
you know the the round table of ligma is
really coming up with some new
yeah catchy phrases the lords of like
the lords of ligma
well it's not gonna stop that's a thing
yeah between us it's not going to stop
yeah
until one of us gets the other one so
bad
that it just that they quit the pocket
you imagine like oh
you know what dude i don't even think
you respect me anymore yeah yeah
fucking do you hear what happened with
jane
buddich's who who
jane buddich's i don't know butt itches
that's a that's a joke that's a joke
that kelsey's like
grandpa used to tell her something oh
yeah yeah who's yeah uh my poor buttitch
is well that's scratchy ladybug
scratch it and then the other person's
fuck you dude
i've had enough of this shit i quit no
so so gann is like this um
it's like a fucking and i don't know if
it's the only one but basically one of
those algorithms i can like take a bunch
of images
and like uh learn them and then like
generate something off of that yeah yeah
face or whatever
yeah is it that new g is it like based
on the gpt-3 or whatever they do oh no
no i think gbt3 is um that's like um
text and like ai they do images too
does it okay yeah there's an image
library i think that's built on top of
it oh okay
yeah i didn't know that um i thought
yeah i
thought it was purely like just text and
whatever um i think gan is its own thing
i could be wrong
but either way bro you you get
like a bunch of girls like full body
naked photo
and you fucking you you run them all
through gand and you create like a fake
lady
okay that way if you catfish it's not
it's not illegal right
like it's okay you know it's like
technically it's kind of is a real
person right
so then you catfish with that and this
is my supreme bit right here i hold up
an a picture of the nude or i just i
feature it in the video and then it cuts
to me eating the bagel and i go you got
god bro
that's a game oh nice that's you got
gand you got gan fished
yeah gang fish you got gang fish tommy
no but even that would be worth it you
know
what like they fork up 150 bucks and
they're like ah
okay he he he tried pretty hard for this
prank
dude they paid 200 bucks and it's just a
lesson
on fucking image algo like like it shows
the image like
you're probably wondering where is this
lady and the truth is she's not real
uh and i'm gonna take you through
exactly uh how i built this
and uh the data set i built using mongo
two hours later i didn't see any titties
but i definitely learned something yeah
yeah
that was actually really interesting
oh my fucking god man what were you
saying the other day we gotta we gotta
make a show on only fans
um was i saying we've got we got to be
like the first network show that's like
that's right oh yeah right
yeah because we could fund it ourselves
yeah
yeah we we have people pre-sign up or
whatever then they're already paying
monthly
and then we can we can produce a like a
legitimate tv show and have it just be
on only fans yeah we
we make the first episode and people pay
for that and then based on the earnings
for that that dictates the next episode
yes and so on and so forth 100
what would the story be uh just
something like really pg
and innocent like maybe you know a
child's
no sorry go ahead go ahead now no no you
can
maybe like something like milo notice
you remember that oh okay okay okay i
was gonna like a story about some like
dogs that get lost
oh man so it's not even about coming
back home no maybe it's just about pets
yeah like it's like a stuart little
story yeah
stuart little trying to find his new car
yeah maybe
okay i was gonna go even more like you
know like cw
like a man wakes up from a coma
and he tries to piece his life back
together and in the process of doing
that he finds love
it's like really really kind of deep and
like damn
like so far from sexual like
like in like a you know a spiritually
uplifting way
yeah you know yeah yeah i love it
you know the show could be like um and
the
people keep waiting for the for the
sexualness to happen because it's on
only fans but it never does never never
never it's and it's like uh
the title could be something really
really deep like tomorrow's not lost
yeah and it's fucking army hammer is the
lead
i love it dude just you know little
what are you watching oh it's this show
on only fans
oh damn what's her name no no no it's uh
it's tomorrow's not lost it's uh
it's featuring army hammer yeah it's
really good actually it's really good
yeah
this is him waking up from the coma
check it out it'll be like that quibby
show
yeah exactly yeah yeah yeah exactly
you'd be like our army hammer oh does he
got a hammer i don't know you never see
him you never see him naked
he's just a really emotionally like it's
really uh like the
depth of this character is fantastic ooh
depth
like you mean he'd be hidden in depth no
no
no no it's not sexual at all it's i'm
saying
ew just the emotional weight of this guy
is fantastic
it's unbelievable it's it's it's amazing
how
how much he can just project i mean the
the character is just
oozing oozing
oozing just you know
just it's just such a rich yeah yeah
keep going keep going
ah damn dude or or we we we recreate the
social network but it's the guys who
created only fans
yeah that's probably going to happen i
bet
yeah yeah oh yeah that would be good
that would sell that shit for a billion
dollars
yeah that can make a billion dollars and
it's one guy i think
i think it's just one dude is it hold on
movie about the start of porn we've
brought this up before
fans middle senator
what who's heard our only fans yeah
timothy stokely
that's who it is my brother's 37 years
old
36 acres 37. you cut off yeah damn yeah
37 years old he's a banker's son
nice nice
oh danny harwood became the first brit
to make 1 million euros from the site
since joining in 2019
wow
that's crazy man yeah isn't that crazy
to know that like you could just
like you just be born with a million
dollar set of
um bazingas or cannons or you know you
got a hammer that's worth a million
bucks
it's got to feel pretty good right yeah
yeah oh yeah
i was thinking about that like with
fighters like when when a guy like conor
mcgregor becomes like
huge uh not like his dick but
yeah what do you mean i was thinking
about when fighters get hard
you know yeah exactly no like when they
when they
when they blow up and like they like
look at their hands and
that that feeling of being like damn my
hands are literally worth like 25
million dollars this is fucking crazy
yeah that is pretty wild just
swinging your neck around in the mirror
who's a millionaire you are slapping it
against your thighs
you are 10 grand 10 grand 10 grand 10
grand 10 grand
oh time to go to work buddy 50 g's 50
g's
yeah i don't know this is like the fifth
episode in a row we've talked about only
fans but
it's actually crazy that it's been
around only since 2016.
yeah sorry i just had a thought about
calling your insurance company like
you know they there used to be that myth
that jlo had her ass insured
yeah getting your dick in shirt after
like your first big only fans check
yeah i'm gonna have to add another
member to my policy
nice and it's got one eye okay so
vision impaired i wouldn't say impaired
yeah there's nothing impaired about this
you might be
yeah yeah later you might be filing as
well
yeah you might be filing a claim after
taking a taking a ride with this bad boy
you might be impaled let's just say okay
how old is the member
well you know he's my age but uh boy is
he strong
okay it's my dick
oh right yeah my penis it's my penis
it's incredibly large
oh my god mr mr stokley built only fans
after he previously created a bdsm and
fetish like
glamwarship.com what was that
let's see i'm gonna control c control v
that
no longer available oh interesting we're
no longer around
huh you should buy this domain client
just restart the business back up this
is our no that's our new merch
website yeah you want some new merch
cleanworship.com
um in the spirit of the original
creators we're making everything out of
leather
leather snapbacks leather that's not
really that crazy
um sounds dope though yeah uh
yeah there's nothing really crazy that
you can do with leather
anyway um yeah whatever
bella thorne two million dollars off
only
so yeah that's the story with her she
made two million and then
bounced that's pretty crazy i wonder if
she's just gonna pocket that money
like if that's just her yeah fuck yeah
dude
fuck yeah maybe it'll maybe she's like
using it to fund the movie or some shit
but i don't know
it's just i don't know
you know kind of shady i just think uh
i mean it's just so cool that you could
have just like a remote anywhere job
like you can literally masturbate
anywhere like you can you know
oh bro what if like only fans creators
become like
the next wave of uh
like picture only fans creator being
like the next wave of
of like tai lopez and like they just
become obnoxiously about like
you have to grind you have to
grind yeah the gary vee of only fans
yeah you can literally jack off anywhere
i can go jack off anywhere right now
we live in the 21st fucking century you
can take a camera you can go jack off
anywhere anywhere no one's stopping you
back in 1980
i predicted this i was talking to my
friends i was like there's literally
going to be an option where you can
masturbate anywhere
on camera and charge people for it and i
was right and here's the thing guys
you got to be if you're going to do this
you got to be jacking off every single
day
every single day repetition is key here
if you're doing it every
day that's 10th out you want 10 000
hours of jacking off before before you
become a pro
everyone else doesn't matter what you do
doesn't matter what you do if you do
enough hours of it
you will become a professional a
professional why would that be any
different from masturbating
and then dixie demilio's dad is like
right
right cool cool so like i shouldn't
listen to the hate
never ever listen to the hate no
never listen to the hate you guys
people are gonna people are gonna call
you crazy things all right they're gonna
call you
you know mark mark masturbation and um
you know uh uh paul pound off stuff like
that
right don't listen to them keep jacking
your
dick paul pound off is kind of hard
though gary i kind of like that name
that's a great porn name paul poundoff
paul pound
bro bro bro yeah oh
do i even hold up wait what are you
gonna say
no no no never mind no what no it's um
you said you said mark what whatever i
thought you're gonna bring up mark wiens
no but i've i uh i saw your profile
picture changed dude like that are you
back into
mark wiens or what's that no no no no no
no no no
i uh let me pull this up
uh so i i um i knew
he's been i've known that he's made
videos for like ever
and uh uh
he did a podcast with someone and it
featured some old footage of him
okay and i was and i thought yo that
mark wiens
is a very different mark wins and i want
to show you this mark wiens
yeah show me i could not i'm like this
is not the same guy
okay who is this guy i was blown the
fuck away
play or yeah wait playoff because we
gotta get oh no this is yeah no no we do
we can ride this out okay okay yeah yeah
okay wait is this the scene's good and
everything
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
first of all it's music this is from
2009
11 years ago
what what
so this is mark wiens i'm about to try
some durian here in malacca
malaysia i'm going to eat some all right
he is higher than god bro what
he is he's also he looks like he's in
the fucking sway house dude dude
he he looks like he's like a tick tock
fuck boy dude he's a he's a complete
fuck boy it's like a dude and all the
comments are like thirst it's like oh my
god mark
he's got he's kind of fucking hot dude
no it's like
it's like you see this shit and you're
like oh how did he what happened to him
mark was fuck
mark was fucking man mark was definitely
definitely dude oh my god he probably
started this whole thing because he was
in fucking
you know uh coping yang for the half
moon party or whatever oh yeah
yeah and then he was just boys he just
hired and then he was like
yeah it's like he drank a couple shroom
shakes and he's like
we should videotape this dude just wait
we've got a durian and i'm going to show
you guys how to eat it i love those
things basically you just want to
kind of open it up it's pretty sharp oh
mark
yes split it mark split it open mark
you got some there it is right there
dude the jewelry and everything
he's like wearing rings yeah yeah so
dude he like eats a shit ton of it and
he's not all weird and exaggerated about
it like he just like bites into it and
then like
wait for this part he sounds normal hmm
surprisingly i kind of like it
oh my god who's that
mark the highest shit ever yeah i know
you're looking at that you're like mark
you scound what are you doing mark what
are you doing
everybody doing work
probably about eight chunks of durian i
thought the durian was pretty good at
first and it actually was but
the more i ate it the more you can kind
of you can kind of see a little mark in
there
you can see a little weenie in there you
definitely you don't see the weenie just
let
it just this one you see the weenie it
just hasn't like fully burned no just
just wait for this one though this one
right here
this is mark wiens with
migrationality.com it's on the website i
got the blog which i'll constantly be
adding to
and i also got the gallery
which includes all kinds of pictures
from all types of excursions
uh i will constantly be upgrading adding
to
creating just wait just wait but anyway
have a look
keep coming back and it's mark wiens
migrationology.com
yeah i'm out i just dude
his voice kills me yeah yeah it's
mark wiens at migrationology.com
like he's such a fucking tool
yeah i'm about to fuck up some durian
right now fucking with my
ho yeah i fucking
i found this girl down at the beach and
i'm gonna fuck her brains out
you know after i eat this durian
we're going to eat durian and fuck
like okay
dude the inner cut of him just eating
the shit and like
spitting it out like with the red eyes
just like putting the camera all the way
up to it oh man
so now we got to fast forward to a
current to a recent video oh bro
so you can see what he's like dog it's
it's yo it's mark wiens
you can't even just this first line let
me play it again while i queue this
up about to feed this bitch my street
meat queens with migrationaling.com
this is mark wiens with
migrationology.com
about to get my fucking dick sucked
after hey wait go back go back
go back dude that first video oh man
flow yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah no
no bro that's what i'm going for now let
me let me let me let me switch this over
you're not even ready you're not even
ready for fucking long hair mark wayne's
bro oh my god dude yeah
that's what i'm going for yeah our
listen wait wait for our boy to be
backwards headed though hold on let me
skip to the let me just get
where's he at where's my guy there he is
where's my guy
grunge bro brushing a beer tower
probably
play it play it but also a little bit
tangy
and you can also taste a little bit of
peanut um because it's sort of mixed in
but it's definitely a refreshing drink
so now he's like made the transition
i honestly feel like and i don't want to
speculate on his life and like if you
watch this don't like don't go fuck off
his comments and shit just leave mark b
but i feel like maybe you know cause
he's
he's not actually that old he's like a
few years older than us
okay so i think that video of him like
all like stoned and shit i think he was
like 23.
yeah yeah yeah i mean that makes sense
right so
but i think like he because now he's
like he's pretty religious i think
so i i feel that he used to get really
fucked up and then
i don't know maybe maybe found faith
and then now that's kind of what maybe
inspired him to be a little bit less
more like
yeah i'm about to get my fucking dick
sucked before eating this durian
mark wiens with migrationology.com um
you know what's you know what's the best
post post fuck snack
durian me and this broad are gonna
fuck up this durian split it open like i
just split her open
wait go so go to a recent video now i
want to see him dog i got to get
reminded of his
oh man what's up mark wiens here he's
here
oh it feels like a wiggling a wiggling
hot dog in your bomb
are you gonna eat it yes this is what's
for lunch this is what's for lunch today
he's such a goober now oh my gosh
it's wild the transition to goober is
crazy
you think it's the same same girl same
woman no it's not
bro is so wife's name now is a ying and
i was laughing because
there's a comment on the fuck boy video
they're like that is not yang
oh this is great this is great how did
you find that
i mean because yeah he just he did uh he
did a podcast episode it was like kind
of like an interview and then they
featured a clip
of him with the long hair and he's like
i'm in
malaysia i'm like who is that fool
what a fucking bitch elena's like what
video was that i was like close your
eyes
bro yeah yeah exactly i'm out here in
malacca malaysia
getting my dick sucked and eating durian
getting my shit sucked off this place
rules
anyway what's fucking good it's mark
wiens here all the way from tucson
arizona
i'm out here in fucking cambodia getting
my shit sucked
i mean i guess all right guys we'll see
you in the bonus episode
we can just get pick this up and keep
going with the bonus episode
