[Channel Teaser]
What Happens When Dungeons
& Dragons Meets Multi-Level Marketing?
Jacob shuffled into the conference room.
Four men sat in high-backed leather chairs
at the end of the polished wooden conference
table.
Jacob shifted his books stuffed with notes
and graph paper from one sweaty hand to the
other.
"Jacob, please sit down," Mr. Mason said,
rising out of his seat.
It was the first time Jacob had ever been
directly addressed by the CEO of the company.
He gestured for Jacob to sit at the head of
the table, the band of his gold watch peeking
out from beneath his sleeve.
He swallowed hard and shuffled past his supervisor,
and then attempted to ease himself into the
leather chair.
"There isn't a reason to be nervous, Jacob,"
Mr. Mason said with a smile.
"It's not like your job relies on this or
anything."
The men around the table laughed at the CEO's
jab.
Jacob chuckled weakly as he unfolded his dungeon
master shield and placed it front of himself.
He felt a bit more confident being able to
hide behind the thin cardboard and take solace
in the fact that the men didn't know how close
he was to having a panic attack.
"I took the liberty of creating characters
for everyone--" Jacob began to speak before
he was interrupted.
"We had one of the IT guys help us create
characters already," his supervisor cut in.
"This game is going to be a little different,"
Jacob said and slid the character sheets forward
to each man.
"Janet, Essential Oils Saleswoman?"
Todd the Vice President asked, raising an
eyebrow.
"Becky, Yoga Pants Purveyor?"
his supervisor asked.
"Trina, Makeup Artist?"
John, the Head of Accounting, looked over
his character sheet with disdain.
"What the hell is this about?"
"Cindy, Scented Candle Entrepreneur," Mr.
Mason muttered, "Skills: hustling, and making
moves."
"Okay, I'm sorry, but I'm going to shut this
down right now," Jacob's supervisor said,
standing from his chair.
"Sit down," Mr. Mason ordered.
"I'm intrigued."
Jacob cleared his throat and began, "You're
a group of women living in the same neighborhood
and your job is to sell as much of your product
as you can."
Jacob slid a piece of graph paper out of his
notebook and placed it between the men.
It was a detailed map of a small suburb named
"The Pyramids."
"Now, you all have a set of skills that you
can use to help you move your product.
You can work as a team or individually.
If you can think of a plan and execute it
then pretty much anything is possible."
"It says here that I am proficient in, gossip?"
John asked.
"Yes, sir."
"What exactly does that mean?"
"You would have to be speaking with another
person and make a roll to see if they believe
your gossip and spread it."
"Interesting," he said, scratching his chin.
"Let's just dive right into it."
"Trina, you just received a text message from
Cindy.
She's inviting you to a candle party.
What do you do?"
"Well, I don't want to go so some dumb candle
party," John scowled.
"Okay, you will also note on your character
sheet that each of you has ‘a best friend,’"
Jacob said with air quotes.
"You and Cindy are best friends.”
"So, you're saying I need to go?"
"That's entirely up to you.
You could try gossip."
"Okay, I'll do that then.
What do I do?"
"Roll that die there," Jacob said pointing
to the twenty sided die, "and let it rip."
John snapped the die up and rolled it across
the table.
18.
"Hey, that's good, right?" he said leaning
forward, squinting to read the small numbers.
"It's great.
You text her back," Jacob coughed and put
on his best feminine voice impression, "I
heard Becky was having a leggings party this
evening."
"That bitch!"
Mr. Mason muttered under his breath.
"Can I use my skill, hustle to see if I can
invite everyone before she can?"
"Sure, roll the die," Jacob said with a small
smile.
The die clattered and bounced to a stop.
16.
"You have a group text message that you used
for your last party."
"Okay, I'll send everyone a text."
"You all just receive a text from, Cindy.
It is a mess of emojis and an invitation to
a candle party."
"Hey what the hell?
You knew I was already having a yoga pants
party tonight!"
Jacob's supervisor shouted.
"Can't keep up with the hustle?"
Mr. Mason asked with more attitude than Jacob
could have imagined.
Jacob's supervisor stared daggers at the CEO
from across the table.
"Okay, fast forward to this evening.
People are showing up for your candle party,
Cindy."
"I pull my rolling suitcase out of my trunk
and wheel it in behind me," Todd the Vice
President said smugly.
"Cindy, you see Janet wheeling her massive
pink suitcase up your walkway.
What do you do?"
"She's trying to peddle her magic oil at my
candle party?"
"A group of women cluster around her, excitedly
chattering away.
You overhear a few snippets of their conversation."
"I've heard such great things!"
"Oh my god, you look five years younger!"
Mr. Mason grimaced.
"I can't kick her out now.
If I did that then they wouldn't buy my product."
"Janet, your suitcase clicks over the stone
walkway and you find yourself standing in
front of Cindy."
"What a wonderful evening for a sale, isn't
it?"
Todd said in a light southern feminine accent.
"Indeed.
You can put your suitcase in the closet if
you'd like."
"Thank you but I'll be keeping it close,"
he slipped out of his accent and said in his
normal voice, "and I wink at her."
"Roll for subtle insult!"
He tossed the dice.
20.
"She is so insulted.
Her face flushes and you can tell you really
got under her skin."
"The women gather inside your massive sitting
room.
They seat themselves around the room on plush
floral couches and lean forward, eager to
see your new products," Jacob said.
"I array my candles in front of them on the
coffee table.
I light one and allow the smell to fill the
room."
"Oh, wonderful.
It smells like July," one of the women said.
"What does July smell like?"
Jacob's supervisor asked bitterly.
"Better than sweaty pants, you goon," Mr.
Mason retorted.
"I take my oils out and pass the small vials
around for the women to look at," Todd cut
in.
Jacob's supervisor tore a page out of the
notebook on the table and scribbled a note
and slid it to Jacob.
He glanced at the note and suppressed the
urge to laugh, then nodded to his boss.
"You pass a lavender essential oil to…
Becky.
It smells wonderful and it will also remove
negative energy from your body when mixed
with tea," Jacob guessed.
"I pour the oil onto the table and knock a
candle over, igniting the pool of idiotic
smelly oil!"
Jacob's supervisor shouted.
"Roll!"
He picked up a die and flicked it across the
table.
"What are you doing?"
Mr. Mason and Todd cried out in unison.
"Ending this idiocy!" he cackled.
The dice bounced to a stop, 16.
"The oil bursts into flames, rapidly spreading
across the table.
It burns faster than gasoline and smells like
burnt hair.
Flames pour off the table igniting the plush
rug and spread unnaturally fast.
Women scream and run over each other to escape
the blazing inferno.
Flames lick the base of the suitcase, you
can hear the sound of hissing from the bottles
inside as they are becoming dangerously warm."
"Everybody, get out!"
Todd shrieked.
"The explosion rips through the room, turning
candles into bludgeoning debris.
A few women manage to escape the inferno as
your home becomes tinder."
"You son of a bitch!"
Mr. Mason roared at Jacob's supervisor.
"Get out, you're fired!"
"This is stupid and so is your company!" he
spat as he stormed out of the room.
"And as for you," Mr. Mason rounded on Jacob,
his tone changing completely, "This was really
great!
We should do this for team building during
our next retreat!
And it turns out a position has just opened
up in management.
Congratulations!"
He stuck out his hand for Jacob to shake.
Crap.
Did you like this different setting?
How would you have handled being caught by
your boss planning out a DnD campaign at work?
Comment your reactions and suggestions in
the comment section below.
Don’t forget to subscribe to our channel,
All Things DnD, for more amazing Dungeons
& Dragons content.
Our next video will be posted in 3 days!
