- I'm kinda just like a
mushroom, I'm a fun guy!
[bouncy music]
- How do I clean mushrooms?
I don't even know!
[muted yelling]
- OK, we're gonna go with
these wipeys, baby wipes.
- Is there water?
- Throw it in the water.
- Iww!
- Screw this!
- I have not actually
touched mushrooms before.
- It's a little weird.
- This all we're doing
is cleaning mushrooms?
- Dump in the water
[slurring] a little bit.
Oh, just kidding.
I guess you have to take time.
- Rub them like this.
- Leave them in there for a
minute to get any residual--
- Is there some type of solution
that I'm supposed to use?
- Anyone planning on eating
these after I clean them?
I think you should be scared. [laughing]
- What beautiful mushroom
water I have now.
You put this in the
moonlight with some crystals.
Ooh.
- There's those fairy tales
where they live under mushrooms
'cause they actually can get pretty big.
- Like all kinds of black
stuff coming through.
- What is this brown stuff?
- Is it dirt?
I think that it's dirt.
- Dirt?
- It's just dirt.
- Dirt.
- Dirt.
- Dirt.
- Dirt?
- Dirt.
- Definitely dirt.
- My grandmother used to say,
"Everybody has to eat a peck
'o dirt before they die."
- I don't know if anyone's aware of this,
but they're grown in horse stuff.
- The toothbrush is calling me.
- 'Cause I want to get
into every nook and cranny.
- [laughing] I feel like
I'm brushing its hair.
My little doll.
♪ La la la ♪
- Looking like polished teeth.
[blowing]
- What the?
This is falling apart.
- It's taking the skin off.
- Does mushroom have skin?
- It's taking off a lot.
[scraping]
- Oh my God, it's like disappearing.
[laughing]
- They're slimy.
- A little slimy.
- Slimy.
- So clean it slipped outta my hand.
- Cutting it, will get the dirt out.
- This is not making me
like mushrooms any more.
- I just know them as a pizza topping
and I don't like them as that.
- They remind me of aliens.
- Fucking, it's like gills.
- I hate mushrooms
because they are fungus.
I don't understand who
was the first person
to pick these off the ground
and said let me just try this.
- When I came back from
vacation this summer,
there was a mushroom
growing from my ceiling.
I had to spray it down with bleach.
Do we have any bleach here?
- They're clean!
- Semi-clean mushrooms.
Lost one, but that's OK.
- Clean.
- Clean mushrooms.
- I don't think I did anything.
- They look dirtier than when
I started, let's be real here.
[laughing]
- Shiny clean mushrooms.
Actually some of them are
still dirty. [laughing]
- Ooh! There's water in this?
Well fuck!
- I'm gonna clean these mushrooms.
- Let's get cleanin'.
- This is a very dirty mushroom.
- Get a paper towel or somethin, a cloth.
- Just take a little water.
Don't want it to be too wet.
- Wipe off any excess dirt.
- Gently brush.
- You don't wanna break the mushroom down.
[blowing]
- Right.
- You can use the back of a knife
and just move that stuff.
- Look at these beautiful mushrooms.
- I don't want to use water
'cause water tends to get
'em all soggy and stuff.
- 'Cause mushrooms will
absorb lots and lots of water.
- A toothbrush will help.
[classical violin]
- If you guys ever want
to paint a mushroom,
this is how you do it.
- I feel like Picasso.
- You can cheat and do that,
and that'll take care of a lot
of the bottom stuff as well.
- Usually I don't mind if
there's a little bit of dirt
on them because it sorta
disappears when you cook them.
- Dirt's not gonna kill you though, right?
- Or it might. [laughing]
- The sediment
is usually dirt from the soil
that the mushrooms are harvested from.
- I never buy mushrooms,
but I will eat them.
- Frankly, they freak me out.
I don't know which ones
will kill me or not.
- Mushrooms are fungus.
And fungus is very
valuable to an ecosystem
but not valuable to my taste buds.
[humming]
- Done!
- That's it.
All you have to do is wipe 'em off.
- Here we have it.
- Behold, clean mushrooms.
- Clean mushrooms.
[music rewinding]
- We're going to clean some mushrooms
and we're starting with a
basic white button mushroom.
Commonly people want to take the mushroom
and submerge it into a bowl of water.
But submerging them in water,
they act like a sponge.
They're gonna start to absorb that water.
And then when we go to cook them,
they're gonna release the water,
and they'll just get soggy and mushy.
So what I actually like
to do for a mushroom
is just use a very
slightly damp paper towel.
First wipe away anything
that's loose on the surface,
working my way around.
Now if I'm using a
mushroom like a chanterelle
or a morel mushroom,
something with a lot
of nooks and crannies,
I may want to grab a brush or
even a toothbrush to do so.
But something that's smooth
like a typical portobello mushroom
or a cremini or a button
mushroom, all I really need
is a damp paper towel,
then I'm good to go.
And that's our clean mushroom.
- Clean mushrooms.
- Clean mushrooms in dirt soup.
- So clean and pristine.
Actually there's some dirt on that one.
But you know. [laughing]
- Yeah these mushrooms
are clean enough for me.
- They're cleaner than they
were, if you look at the water.
