[Laughter]
Hi, I'm Skinny Malone, artist and musician.
Today me and my friends are going to play Dungeons & Dragons with giffgaff.
Hi, my name is Aoife Wilson and I am joined by Skinny Malone and his crew.
Hey, you alright guys?
And we're going to play a little bit of Dungeons & Dragons.
Yes, Oh
[Laughter]
Have you guys ever played before?
No, nah.
But, you know what it is right?
Yeah.
So fantasy role-playing, we're all going to pick a character. Well, I'm going to play everyone else in the universe basically.
And it's going to be a lot of fun. What we need to do next is to get into character.
Yes. Costumes.
[Laughter]
I cannot even believe how good you look. This is the team, it's amazing.
Just trying to get into character you know.
Okay, well we've go our players, the stage is set, so let's begin.
So we start our adventure in the Dusty Knuckle, it's a tavern that's well known to mercenaries and adventurers
as the place to get the tip for the next job coming. The mead is flowing and flagons are clanking, there's a fire roaring in the corner.
But, even despite all that noise all your eyes go straight towards the main doors of the tavern which fling open all of a sudden.
A large figure is standing in the doorway. Even from your table, a good ten paces from the door, you can smell the beer from here.
This person's clearly had a few.
I'll be honest with you gentleman, I'm in need of help. My son, you see...
I think he's cursed.
People say he's got the conniptions, but I know there's magic involved. He's not been right for the last two days now.
And... I'm in need of adventurers, Bold adventurers, such as yourselves! What do you say?
Are you paying us?
Listen fellows. I'm not short of cash. I'm willing to pay handsomely, should my son return to good health.
Well, if you offer silver, I'm all ears and my sword is yours.
I'm offering gold, sir.
You're offering gold?
Yes.
Then you can have my drink.
[Laughter]
Well gentleman, a toast to our new allegiance!
Ooops.
[Laughter]
I'll put that back over there...
He claps his hands together and motions, shall we?
And you all finish up your drinks and leave the tavern.
Fish Guard Manor, is almost a stones throw from the tavern.
Archie's room is just up the staircase and it's the second door on the left.
Let us go find this boy, the child, who is cursed.
Your pace is crazy.
You make your way up the spiral staircase in the middle of this grand entranceway.
And you find yourself in a very long corridor, the second door on the left is slightly ajar.
Push it aside and the sight that meets you is a very impressive room, it's messy but comfortable.
But, the one thing that you notice as soon as you walk in is a young man. He's sitting rigidly in the centre of the room, on a chair.
He's got his fists on his knee's, very straight-backed, looking dead ahead. He looks to all intents and purposes as if he's in a trance.
We must investigate.
Can I throw intelligence?
A strong 20!
Oh you've got a crit.
Jeeeez
That's how you roll a 20.
A closer look on his person reveals that he's carrying a couple of gold coins.
And there's actually a small piece of paper clenched very tightly in his fist.
It has one word written on it, that word is...
Var'o.
Found anything? What do you think? Is it magic? It's magic, isn't it!
It's magic definitely.
We shall talk to him and ask him about Var'o.
What would you like to say to him?
Who is Var'o?
Oh, I've heard that name before! Posters. There's posters out in the streets.
Lionheart goes out into the street and yet again, Reginald wasn't lying. There are posters, actually in front of the Dusty Knuckle.
And the posters read thusly:
Talented musicians wanted. Fame and fortune awaits you as a member of our world-renowned travelling band.
Ask for Var'o at the Silver Serpent tavern.
Can I go upstairs and grab those coins and then come back?
You'll have to make a stealth sleight of hand check.
I got plus seven, so let me roll something.
Hey, hey, that's not the case. If you going to roll the dice then do it in the right place.
[Laughter]
Ahhhhh. It's weak.
That's an instant fail.
While these guys were talking, you thought you were being really stealthy and sidled over to Archie and put your hand in his pocket.
And the coins just sort of spilled out onto the floor and you actually knocked over a pile of books over whilst you did it.
Reginald is actually quite hurt by that attempt.
Can I put a spell on him?
My guy!
Calm him down.
Yes!
I think I have a spell for this you know.
Hmmm...
Put him to sleep?
Oh, you want to put him to sleep?
A level one magic trick.
Your spell succeeds! Tell us what happens.
Sir, calm down! And tapped on his head.
He kind of just blinks wide once for a second... and then falls to the floor.
Why don't we ask the people at the bar if they know who Var'o is?
We use intimidation or what?
No, we could just go ask her? Ask some questions...
Ask the bartender.
Gnome, she'll find you cute!
What, cos I'm small?
Yes!
A very large figure is kind of sidled up next to you.
It's Var'o, is it?
It's a big, big half-orc and he looks pretty mean.
Wow.
Better get ready for that battle bro!
He's like, I don't think you guys are ready for Var'o. Errr, to be quite honest with you, it's nasty, nasty business.
Well, as much as you might think that because we're plotting. My dragon-born friend here will definitely squash him!
[Laughter]
I might know something, I might not. How about we solve this with a little drinking contest?
Bottoms up, come on let's go.
Come on then, I like this one.
Can I try my luck with sleight of hand?
You can! You can try and pretend to drink and throw the shot over your shoulder.
17.
Yes.
That's a lot of maths.
I swear it's 34?
When Good Bad goes to cheers again, alright, vrooom.
Straight behind you, in fact, it sloshes into a sink that's handily placed at the back of the room.
Alright, well, Good Bad you can tell is very, very impressed with your drinking ability.
You're talking about Var'o right?
Yes, we were.
Follow the jingle and he points to the far end of the bar.
It's a figure that you didn't actually notice before.
As they move towards the door of the tavern,
they start to jingle because they've got two tambourines tucked into their belt loops.
And they walk, slowly out of the tavern.
Tsh tsh tsh tsh...
And then we follow?
Yeah, that spooked me out, I was kinda scared.
We follow and then see where he goes?
Eventually, he comes to on first glance an empty house. The door opens very slightly.
He walks inside and the door closes behind.
There are two windows around the back of the house, one is slightly open. If you look inside you can see four figures.
One is kind of sewing a very elaborate looking robe. The other is stringing an expensive looking lute.
The other two have their backs to you, so you can't really tell who they are or what they're doing.
What you saying for dexterity?
16 plus three.
I think that's the best then. I think you should climb up and throw us down a rope so we can climb up.
18, that's what I'm saying.
Come on.
No no.
Arooo
My brother.
[Laughter]
Alright, so you swing yourself up in one motion right up on to the ledge of the window, quietly raise the window and slip your legs inside.
If it goes left, if it goes left. Just beat them up, yeah?
Alright, lads.
Go on...
Oh my gosh.
Unfortunately, one of your wrappings on your foot got caught and you've just crashed through.
The two figures who's faces you saw don't react and one of the other figures don't react either.
The last figure in the room to turn around is in fact a High Elf woman.
Ooooh.
So, let me just give you a picture of this lady.
She's, as you can tell, extremely extravagant, she's quite tall and physically quite imposing.
Imposing on who?
No, she just draws herself up very tall, she's clearly a performer.
The thing that keeps drawing your eye is, she's got this gorgeous ornate necklace.
That when you keep your eyes on it for more than a few seconds it almost starts to glow.
I'm going to be the greatest performer in the world and I know you've got your little flute or whatever.
[Flute whistles]
If you guys are going to like try and stop me with your little adventure... We're going to have problems.
What's going on with little old Charlie boy? Why's he cursed?
Haha, oh that guy! He just had too much talent and he was going to waste it so... I guess his talent is mine now.
Wow.
I know this woman's deal, I say we just go straight for the kill.
They're having it bruv.
Oooh, you might have to hold a lick or two.
Oohh it was on a 19.
Oh no.
Erm, what's your armour class?
12.
It's looking like you might die here bro.
She... In one very quick motion, has taken a dagger out of her belt and thrown it directly at your head.
Oh damn... I'm dead.
It's gone right into the wall beside you.
She missed.
[Laughter]
What.
You lucky...
How'd he miss?
I wanna use vicious mockery.
Alright, what are you gonna say to her?
In life we go up and down like mercury, you're so ugly it hurts me.
[Laughter]
Var'o staggers backwards a little bit and looks a little bit bothered.
So, I'm going to take this opportunity to hit her with a dagger and also do a sneak attack. So I should roll for a 20, right?
And it's not with us...
Not again.
Five.
Five plus two.
Seven.
That is a hit, what happens?
Berserkerr.
Pow, pow. Where do you think you're going?
Strength, speed, cause I'm enrage, adrenaline.
You realise that when Var'o took all that damage, the necklace kind of glowed a little bit.
Just for a split second.
But it was enough to make you a bit more aware of it than before.
I think we should cut the necklace.
Firebolt the necklace.
Oooooooh
Bruv, you so didn't do no fire.
[Laughter]
17.
My guy, my guy.
Ah, no no. We did it wrong.
My guy, my guy.
Six.
Oooh 19.
Give me a six...
And it's a six, my brother, that's how we do on these streets!
Yeah boy.
You've been nice with the ice, with the dice!
Oh my days...
Sneak attack.
So as our Titus the Outcast slips in and with one deft movement of his dagger slits the necklace from her neck
It falls to the floor and just on impact, there's blinding white light and you shield your eyes.
[Screaming]
When your retinas start working again Var'o is actually right by the open door.
Ha. You guys, okay, you know what? I am not appreciating this at all,
so I'm going to go. You can have your little guy, whatever his name was?
Archibald, whatever. You can have him back, but I will see you again, I don't forget... Anything.
Sitting at the centre of the pile of dust where the necklace fell there is a large gem and it's glowing very brightly.
It's got an almost ethereal presence.
Anywho, I'm going to hold on to this diamond.
You all okay with that?
I'm kinda okay with it, but I'm very worried about Archie right now.
Alright, true true.
It's not too far a walk to get back to Fish Guard Manor, the sun is just about coming up at this time.
You come up to the door and boom boom boom... Exactly.
The door slowly opens and it's Archie!
Man like Archie.
He's like, what is going on?
Your father hired us to save you, you were cursed.
Oh! I was wondering where the last three days went. Thank you guys so much.
Just as he's spouting his thanks and still looking a bit confused.
You feel a weird burning sensation in your chest and actually,
there's a bit of a glowing light starting to emanate from inside.
That is no ordinary gem.
Can you use one of his magic spells to discover what it is?
Unfortunately, that's all we have time for...
Oww...
What.
To be continued...
Well, thank you guys so much, I had a lot of fun. Did you have a good time?
I wanna play this game.
Especially with the costumes on, it definitely brings a different element to the game.
Yeah, I'm not going to lie, do you know what, it sounds silly, but I want to apply the internet to this. Does that make sense?
Yeah.
I'm only level one, I'm trying to start grinding.
I think we should do it again sometime.
100%
Even in costume.
Next week?
Next week?
Next week.
That's it next week, done.
My guy.
[Laughter]
That's the medieval snakage...
