So, as someone who does a lot of work doing
trainings on transgendered and transsexual
issues, itís always best to start with a
little bit of terminology.
So, people often get confused about the difference
between transgender and transsexual, so weíll
start there.
They are very similar; in fact, in some parts
of North America, the words are used interchangeably.
Here in Toronto, we do tend to use them to
mean two different things.
Transsexual tends to be a person who has made
the choice to live, consistently, as the opposite
sex.
Now, how they live that is up to them, that
may include surgeries, it may include hormones,
it may include changing hair or styles of
dress, but none of those things are what make
the person transsexual.
What makes them transsexual is that itís
a consistent-lived identity.
A transgendered person, the way that we use
that term here, tends to be someone who is
living more fluidly between genders, exploring
gender as something Ö sometimes creatively,
or artistically.
Maybe theyíre a drag performer.
Sometimes, they are someone who believes that
theyíre a third gender, neither male nor
female, or they may see it as being both male
and female.
So, thatís what transgender is, as opposed
to transsexual.
For the purposes of this document, Iím probably
going to use the word gender variant quite
a bit.
And, we use the term gender variant to describe
children or youth who are expressing gender
differences, different than, say, their peers.
We donít use the word trans, transgender
or transsexual, to describe those kids, because
transgender and transsexual are about identities.
All weíre describing in these kids is a behaviour.
So, weíre not trying to say that we know
what their identity is, or that we know who
they are, weíre just saying that they exhibit
a behaviour, so thatís when we use the word
gender variant.
There are Ö thereís a lot of things that
I would like teachers to know about gender
variance in students that they might have.
Itís hard to know where to start, honestly.
I think one of the most important things is
that Ö is this.
To say that a child exhibiting gender-variant
behaviours, dressing the way that a person
from the opposite sex would dress; engaging
in activities that a person from the opposite
sex would engage in; those things do not necessarily
mean that that child is going to grow up to
be transgendered or transsexual.
Itís normal to explore gender.
Itís normal for children to explore all sorts
of things about their universe; this is just
one more piece.
Itís only recently that there has been more
allowance for kids to explore that openly.
Previously, kids explored it, but they did
it in the privacy of their home.
And, now theyíre starting to explore it more
publicly.
But, again, it doesnít necessarily mean that
theyíre going to be transgendered or transsexual,
it just means that theyíre taking the opportunity
to figure out who they are in the world and
what gender means to them, and theyíll come
to their own conclusions.
Some kids who explore gender-variance behaviours
are straight when they grow up, straight men,
straight women.
Some of them will be gay men or gay women,
some of them will be bisexual people.
And, some of them will be transgender or transsexual.
Some other things that I think are really
important for teachers to know, itís really
hard for a child who is exploring gender to
take the courageous stand of saying to their
parents, I want to go to school today dressed
like a girl.
Or, I want to go to school today and use a
different name.
Itís even more courageous for that child
to show up at school in front of all their
peers, and in front of their teachers and
their principals, and ask people to respect
those choices, those new names, those new
identities.
I think that we sometimes want to protect
kids from the harassment and the discrimination
that might fall upon them as a result of those
choices, but it can be really easy to confuse
that harassment, and the discrimination, with
the choice itself being a bad choice.
The choice isnít a bad choice; itís that
we live in a society that stigmatizes people
with variant gender behaviours.
But, the behaviours themselves arenít bad
or wrong.
So, what teachers need to do, and what parents
need to do, is to understand the courage that
that took for that child, and help them to
understand that.
I think this is a message for kids in many,
many different circumstances, but the message
is, youíre okay, even when the world thinks
youíre not, right?
Thatís a really key message for every kid
to hear, and kids who are gender variant need
to hear that, as well.
And, they need to learn how to deal with the
discrimination and the harassment that theyíre
probably going to face from their peers.
So, teachers can do things to try to intercede,
and thatís incredibly important as well.
One thing that a teacher could do is to role
model for the other students how to behave
respectfully towards a gender-variant child.
They can role model using the right name and
using the right pronouns, and they can role
model treating that child like any other kid
in the school.
And, recognizing that they still have skills
and abilities and talents, and that they still
have the same sense of humour, and that theyíre
still the same person, theyíre just using
a different name.
When teachers role model those kinds of things,
it makes it easier for the other students
to understand what theyíre supposed to do,
and how theyíre supposed to react, because
sometimes they donít know.
Teachers will also need to jump in at the
first signs of intolerance, the discrimination,
the harassment, that probably is going to
start.
They need to jump in immediately, to let kids
know this is not acceptable, we wonít allow
that here, and you will be disciplined if
you attempt to bully a child because theyíre
gender variant.
Again, that sends a message thatís very clear.
It sends a message, not just to the student
who is doing the bullying that bullying is
wrong, it also sends a really important message
to the child whoís being bullied that, no,
we value you, and we donít want anyone to
hurt you, because we know that you deserve
better.
And, that might be a message that they needed
to hear, at that time in their life.
Yeah, there are definitely some suggestions
that I would have for teachers, thinking back
on my own experience.
One is, a lot of kids may feel that itís
kind of an all or nothing, if theyíre thinking
about cross-dressing and using a different
name, having different pronouns used and the
whole thing, they want it all at once.
And, the teacher might want to suggest to
a student that they go with half measures
to start with, to get comfortable.
Start with using a different name but, instead
of going with a name that is recognizably
the opposite sex name, pick a name thatís
gender neutral, something like Chris, Sam,
Pat.
That gives the student a chance to grow into
the experience.
It also gives the other students a bit more
time to get a handle on whatís going on.
So, thatís something that a teacher could
suggest.
Another thing that I think is really important,
and this is directly from my own experience,
is that kids who are struggling with gender
might show someone the same signs and symptoms
of distress that kids show for other experiences.
I know that I had teachers who thought that
perhaps I was being abused, because of the
signals that I was sending out, the issues
that I was struggling with, but they had no
clue what it was.
So, things like a change in grades and withdrawal
from peers, substance use, which sometimes
begins very early these days, missing classes,
all of those kinds of things, can be indicators
that a child is struggling with these issues.
So, itís something to keep in the back of
your head that, even if itís not the kid
that you think it might be, who would be the
one most likely to cross-dress, this person
could be wanting to as well, or feeling at
odds with their body.
It can happen in any student, itís not easy
to tell.
There are friends of mine, who are now transsexual
women, who were the high school jocks in their
schools and had all the girls and did all
the cool jock things but, inside, they felt
like a completely different person.
And, they felt like, maybe if they just did
this properly, that maybe they would begin
to believe it for themselves.
It was a mask, and lots of kids can be wearing
those masks, and so you just never know.
Language and terminology are always important
when discussing issues of puberty in classrooms.
I think that Ö I mean, first of all, the
issue of just inclusion, of making sure that
you include trans people, or gender variant
behaviours, into the discussion, that you
bring it up.
For instance, with puberty, bodies change
and, as youíre discussing how bodies change
and how different kids may be experiencing
some feelings, difficult feelings, around
how their bodies are changing, trans kids,
or kids who are going to be gender variant
are also, or may be, experiencing difficulties
with how their bodyís changing.
And, so you can raise that at that point,
and mention that this is a normal part of
puberty for those kids.
A couple of other things that I just wanted
to mention, one is that I think itís really
important for the teacher Ö we talked earlier
about the teacherís role in this.
Another role that I think a teacher has is
to take the onus off of the gender-variant
child for explaining gender variance, and
explaining trans identities.
Itís hard enough for that child to be living
that life, without trying to justify it, explain
about it, teach about it.
So, thatís the teacherís role, to learn
and, what they donít know, they can be honest
about that.
Well, Iím not sure about this, but Iíll
try to find out.
Maybe they bring in guest speakers, who can
speak from personal experience.
Again, to take the, to shift the, attention
away from the gender-variant child to someone
else who is gender variant, that the kids
can focus their questions to, and that that
person can give those kinds of answers.
I think thatís a useful tool, as well.
