[♪♪♪]
♪ I know you ♪
♪ You were in all type ♪
♪ I know it's because
You want me to be all right ♪
♪ Don't know what I'd do
If I lost you ♪
♪ Don't know what I'd do
If I lost you ♪
♪ I wish you didn't
Take on everybody's pain ♪
♪ 'Cause I know you ♪
♪ Every night you say
A prayer ♪
♪ Don't know what I'd do
If I lost you ♪
♪ Don't know what I'd do
If I lost you ♪
♪ So don't go ♪
♪ Don't go from me now ♪
♪ Don't go ♪
♪ Don't cry for me now ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, God
What the hell would I do ♪
♪ If you take her
I swear, I'm coming too ♪
♪ 'Cause I don't know
What I'd do ♪
♪ Don't know what I'd do
If I lost you ♪
♪ So don't go ♪
♪ Don't go... ♪
[♪♪♪]
- CARLEY:
- It may not look like it,
But I'm totally shitting
my pants right now.
Mainly 'cause of this guy,
Shin.
If I don't land this jump,
he's going to yell at me.
Well, he'll do that either way
because that's how
he motivates.
[CROWD CHEERING]
I'm also shitting myself
because they're here.
Mom and Dad.
They paid a lot of money for
me to skate over the years
and if I let them down,
my dad's totally
gonna make me pay him back.
[LAUGHING]
Okay, I'm joking.
I just want them to be proud.
[CROWD CHEERING]
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
SHIN:
Those marks mean
you must work harder.
Much harder. More practice.
More discipline.
- Why are you talking like I
- didn't just pass my junior test?
- Wait, no, not pass,
- I aced it.
- I'm elite now!
- You want a cookie?
It's bad for training.
- How are you not more
- excited about this?
- I could go
- to the Olympics!
I am happy.
Would it kill you
to show it?
Old saying.
Treat triumph
like a funeral.
Funeral like triumph.
What does that
even mean?
- Only celebrate
- at the end?
- Where's the fun
- in that?
- I don't think Shin
- believes in fun.
Unless it involves
plastic wrap.
What are you guys
talking about?
We saw him jogging in the
park with his arms and legs.
And abs!
Wrapped up in plastic.
Hey, the man's
been to two Olympics.
Maybe we should do that.
[LAUGHING]
Seriously though,
what did that even mean?
[IN SHIN'S VOICE}
Treat triumph like funeral.
No way.
My motto is always smile.
I don't mean be fake,
but always, always find
a reason to be happy.
And if you can't,
smile anyway.
Why the heck not?
Hey Car,
are you ready...?
Oh my God.
That dress is gorgeous.
Mom got you the prom dress.
- She said we could pick it up
- if I made elite.
It's beautiful.
Thanks.
- I call dibs when
- that's a hand-me-down.
Ah, no no no no no no.
I have seniority.
That dress goes up first.
Okay, I gotta get dressed.
- Hurry up!
- Come down soon, okay?
Okay.
- MARK: - Okay, Joe.
- Read back what we got so far.
Yeah. Yes, yes.
Don't even start.
What does it even say?
- You know what?
- It's from my heart.
Congratulating!
Elite, baby!
My sister's going to Sochi.
We're so proud of you.
Aren't we, Mark?
Hey! Hey you,
congratulations.
- I gotta try and
- fix this part up.
- Sam, can you grab the
- cake cutter for me, honey?
- You know what? I am going to
- take you skating next week
- 'Cause I can still teach
- you some tricks, too.
Okay.
[INDISTINCT DIALOGUE]
[BOTH GIGGLE]
- You know what?
- Dad!
- Why do you keep
- saying drywall?
Like, do you like
working for me?
- I'm gonna have
- to call you back.
Yeah.
- I think we can
- cut the cake now
- Because he might have to
- get back on the phone.
- But, like, you're
- not allowed to because.
Do you cut it
like this?
[LAUGHTER]
[♪♪♪]
Thanks for coming.
It just does what it wants?
It does do what it wants.
You're totally right.
That's pretty cool.
Yeah I mean it's.
Hey!
Is this your house?
- Only in the winter.
- Really?
- Yeah, I summer
- in Costa Rico.
Costa Rica.
- What?
- It's Costa Rica.
Ignore my geographically-
challenged friend.
Thank you.
Whoa, what are you doing?
Nothing.
You just have a lint.
Got it.
- I thought you were trying to
- put a sticky note on my back.
What? What would
make you think that?
God, I don't even know you.
Don't we have
biology class together?
Do you believe this guy?
Accusing me?
It's just that there's
a bunch on peoples' backs,
- and you have one
- balled up in your hand.
No I don't.
That's...
Preposterous!
Yeah, that's preposterous.
God,
I don't even know you.
Who do you think I am?
I mean, who would
do such a thing?
Preposterous.
Whoa, whoa.
Let's see what's
in your hand then?
- No thank you.
- Just let me see it.
- No, seriously.
- Never mind.
I bet you
I could guess it.
Three tries and if you don't
guess, I destroy it forever.
And if I do?
He takes you on date!
With sex!
Whoa, too far!
I think
that's a great idea!
Just the date part.
Absolutely not.
Something else.
Why, are you
scared or something?
I am a lot of things,
but I am not scared.
Well, it's settled then.
If I guess it right, I
get to take you on a date.
- [SIGHING]
- Fine.
And if you break this
promise I will find you.
Okay, start guessing.
Cutie?
Strike one.
Okay. Okay.
Mmm...
Hottie?
Wow, you have a high
opinion of yourself, mister.
John.
Mr. John.
Okay, third
and final guess.
Your phone number?
[CRINKLING]
Sorry, John.
Enjoy the party.
[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ Let's get on
Another flight ♪
♪ Maybe set out to sea ♪
♪ Kick it up and
Shake a fist at it ♪
♪ 'Cause death is
Harder to come by ♪
♪ When you gotta
Make a break for it ♪
♪ 'Cause it's been
A long time of this ♪
- GIRL:
- Get up there, Becks.
Go!
♪ Something has got to give ♪
♪ Everyone here
Is ready to go ♪
♪ It's been a hard year
With nothing to show ♪
♪ From down this low
It's only up we go, up we go ♪
♪ Everyone here
Is ready to go ♪
♪ It's been a hard year
And I only know ♪
♪ From down this low ♪
♪ It's only up we go
Up we go ♪
[LAUGHS]
Yo, Carley!
What was that?
What was what?
Did you just yo me?
Yes, I did.
You know, you could have
said hi, hey, hello, what's up.
Go again.
What?
Go.
I'm messing with you.
[LAUGHING]
Of course you are.
You're really funny.
But not about the yo-ing.
Okay.
No yo's.
No yo's.
Okay.
- So can I walk
- you to your door?
- You can
- never be too careful.
- There's a lot of creepy
- weirdos out there.
Isn't that what a
creepy weirdo would say
to a girl walking around
in the dark alone at night?
Nine times out of 10,
you would be right,
but I'm not a creepy weirdo.
See, that is totally what
a creepy weirdo would say.
Are you always like this?
So effusive?
Wow, that's a big word.
That's a dictionary word.
It's like preposterous.
Hey, Carley.
- Look, your friend
- Becks said.
- Rebecca.
- Only I call her Becks.
Well,
I was talking to Rebecca,
and she said
you owe me a date.
[SCOFFS]
[CHUCKLES]
Well played.
So I was thinking.
How about the zoo?
It's a date.
But it has to be
sometime in the afternoon
because I practice
pretty much every day.
- Practice.
- For what?
I'm a skater.
You skate every night?
Pretty much.
I just got elite, so.
Oh.
Congratulations.
You seem disappointed?
It's just that athletes
don't usually have much time
for anything but themselves.
Excuse me?
I'm sorry. I didn't.
- You're judging me
- before knowing me?
- Whoa, whoa, Carley,
- this was going so well.
Goodnight, Judge-y
John Johnerson.
At least I don't put
stickers on peoples' backs.
He waited around my
front door for 20 minutes
after I went inside.
Oh.
[CAR ALARM RINGING]
[DOG BARKING]
You're crazy,
he's cute.
He's crazy, I'm cute.
- I just think he meant
- dating an athlete
- Was hard because...
- I know what he meant.
- I'm just.
- SHIN: Carley!
No phones.
On the ice. Now!
[♪♪♪]
♪ Stone walls
And a heavy brow ♪
♪ Paper legs we fold
Without a sigh ♪
♪ Sigh ♪
[COUGHING]
Hey, does Carley
look all right to you?
[MOUTHING SONG LYRICS]
[LAUGHS]
Okay.
[COUGHING QUIETLY]
♪ How do we get over ♪
♪ How do we get over
This time ♪
♪ One foot
In a sinking hole ♪
♪ While the other's
Trying to get ahold ♪
Water break.
Two minutes.
♪ How do we get over
This time ♪
[DOOR CREAKING]
[HEAVY BREATHING]
Wow, you're in
here a lot for a man.
Why are you out of breath?
I don't know.
Are you riding bike?
Of course.
Cardio every day.
Training not only on ice.
- I'm doing everything
- I should be.
What about diet?
Cakes, cookies,
ice cream, soda.
Soda is devil!
I'm not drinking
devil soda, okay?
I just need to catch
my breath.
[COUGHING, GASPING]
[♪♪♪]
[GASPING]
[METAL CLINKING]
[THUDDING]
In movies, people
are always fainting.
When they're scared, tired,
when they get a super
dramatic piece of news.
Here's a tip.
In real life, people
don't faint for no reason.
- DOCTOR:
- Deep breath in.
[BREATHING AUDIBLY]
He made me breathe in and
out so many times I got dizzy.
And then he said I had...
exercise-induced asthma?
- So am I gonna be
- one of those kids
- Who has to sit out
- during gym class?
- Well, at least
- you have that now.
How does this even work?
Yeah, works just like that.
Ew.
[COUGHING]
[INHALER PUFFING]
- Hey, Nuggy.
- You okay?
What do you think?
[LAUGHING,
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[♪♪♪]
[HEAVY BREATHING]
[♪♪♪]
My problem's with breathing.
What's blood gonna tell you?
He's a little busy,
Car.
Do I at least get a lollipop?
- Carley, please!
- What?
I always used to get
a lollipop after a needle.
What do you say, Doc?
- You're gonna have
- to schedule a follow-up
For the results.
- How long does
- that usually take?
Couple of days, usually.
Thank you.
See?
- And then things just
- kinda went back to normal.
- Well, normal for me.
- TEACHER: Homologous chromosomes
First pair with each another
and then they segregate to...
Well thank you for
joining us, Ms. Allison.
I'm sorry.
I was skating over lunch.
Fascinating! When do you
find time to eat?
- CARLEY: - Don't worry,
- I had a protein sh...
You're being sarcastic.
Mm-hm.
Great.
What are you doing?
I told you.
I'm in this class.
Oh, you're a stalker?
No, I'm not a stalker.
- I've literally been
- in this class
With you this whole time.
- I thought we were
- just messing around.
You're sitting in my seat,
so can you move?
- TEACHER:
- Miss Allison?
- Is my teaching
- interrupting your argument?
I've literally been
sitting in this seat...
TEACHER:
Okay, everybody, we
can thank Miss Allison
for the pop quiz
you're about to have.
[GASPING]
- SHIN:
- Are you taking it correctly?
Yes, I'm taking it
as directed.
If taking properly,
problem is not medication.
It is skater.
For once, can you
just get off my back.
You know I have asthma.
Yuzuru Hanyu has asthma.
He also has gold medal.
What's your point, Shin?
Train harder, Carley.
Otherwise, the only way
you see Olympics is
when you watch
your friends on TV.
[DOOR CREAKING]
[PHONE BEEPS]
Ow!
[WHISPERING]
The biology textbook.
- CARLEY:
- Wow, this is so pretty.
- JOHN:
- Yeah.
Hold up.
- [CHUCKLING]
- What are you doing?
It's a surprise.
- Okay,
- I hate surprises
- And most girls don't
- let guys blindfold them
On a first date.
- JOHN:
- You don't trust me?
- CARLEY:
- Nope! Not even a little bit.
JOHN:
I don't think you have much
of a choice, to be honest.
CARLEY:
Oh. Okay.
[♪♪♪]
Okay.
JOHN:
All right, watch your step.
- You okay?
- Yeah, yeah.
Okay. Whoa!
- All right, all right,
- all right.
I got you.
Keep 'em closed.
♪ I wish I could
Do better by you ♪
Keep 'em closed.
♪ 'Cause that's
What you deserve ♪
Open your eyes.
♪ You sacrifice
So much of your life ♪
[LAUGHING]
- JOHN:
- The cutest thing ever?
It's the cutest thing ever!
♪ In order for this to work ♪
♪ While I'm off
Chasing my own dreams ♪
♪ Sailing around the world ♪
♪ Please know that
I'm yours to keep ♪
♪ My beautiful girl ♪
♪ When you cry
A piece of my heart dies ♪
♪ Knowing that I
May have been the cause ♪
♪ If you were to leave
Fulfill someone else's dreams ♪
♪ I think I might
Totally be lost ♪
[LAUGHING]
That was crazy!
Thank you.
♪ No delicate
String of pearls ♪
That was so cool!
No problem.
[LAUGHING]
Here you go.
- Thank you so much.
- Would I get one more?
- No worries.
- Thank you.
So what were you saying
about athletes again?
Look, I'm sorry.
- You know, I've
- never seen someone fly
So close to the sun
and just:
[EMULATES EXPLOSION]
[BOTH LAUGH]
Oh, yeah, and thanks for
setting my car alarm off.
That was super smooth.
- Definitely did
- that on purpose.
- Oh yeah? - Yeah, I thought
- It looked cool.
- Yeah, you know, running
- away like a little girl.
- [LAUGHING]
- Real cool.
- It's a nice
- picture in my mind.
- You know, I call 'em
- like I see 'em.
Look, my ex-girlfriend
was on the volleyball team,
and she didn't really
have time for anything
so I guess that's
why I said that.
She was also cheating
on me with Tom Hopkins
- because he had a
- driver's license,
But I guess it made
me kind of bitter.
[LAUGHING]
So athletics had
nothing to do with it?
No, I was just
angry and bitter.
So I hear
you're also a singer?
Sorry, I'm auditioning
for the Berklee
College of Music.
It's in Boston.
Wow, elite skating,
singing.
- You know, you're
- starting to make the rest
Of us look pretty lazy.
You okay?
Yeah, uh.
You need my help?
No, no.
I'll be right back.
[HEAVY BREATHING]
- Oh, my God!
- Carley!
[♪♪♪]
CARLEY:
An athlete's heart rate
should only be
around 50 beats per minute.
When the paramedics
arrived to take mine,
it was around 110.
- That's like the beat of
- a really fast dance song
At a nightclub.
Which explains
why I was so thin.
[MACHINE WHIRRING]
[DOCTOR SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]
DOCTOR:
I'm from
the Oncology department.
After the CT scan
was completed,
the radiology department
asked me to come down
and take a look at it.
I was clearly able to see
what was causing Carley's
breathing problems.
I have, uh, I have a spare
inhaler in here.
Mrs. Allison, I'm sorry,
but that won't be necessary.
It's not asthma.
[DOCTOR CONTINUES
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[WHIMPERING]
More tests to run,
but we have a little...
In a few seconds, they're
gonna come in and hug me.
Riley and Sam are gonna be
holding in their tears.
My dad's gonna hold my hand
and tell me everything's
gonna be okay.
Hey.
My mom
will kiss my forehead.
It's gonna be
okay. Shh.
It's okay.
[CRYING]
And I'm gonna nod
and know they're only
telling me half the truth.
- [CRYING]
- The truth is...
The CT scan found a tumor
on the right side
of my trachea.
I have cancer.
DOCTOR:
It's a malignant
melanoma in your trachea.
It's extremely rare.
Only seven known cases
in medical history.
You, young lady,
one in a billion.
Wow. Lucky me.
Well, you are lucky
because we can remove it.
Not today, because the tumor is
right up beside your thyroid.
So we have to use chemotherapy
to shrink the tumor down
to a size where we
can get around it.
In the meantime, you
need this tracheostomy
so you can breathe.
[♪♪♪]
[GASPING]
[MACHINES BEEPING]
[♪♪♪]
[HEAVY BREATHING]
Hey Nuggy.
How you doing?
Good morning.
How you feeling?
Hi.
Hi.
[MARKERS SQUEAK]
[CHUCKLES]
I'll take that one.
Wow, that's big.
[♪♪♪]
♪ Every night we go out ♪
♪ We don't care
Where we end up ♪
♪ Everyone ♪
Hi.
- No toys allowed.
- It's okay.
- It's so cute.
- Oh, tell me about it.
Let's go.
Come on, come on.
- But I'm her sister.
- Let's go.
No toys in the ICU.
It's just for my sister!
It's small! Man.
♪ As we walk down the street ♪
♪ We don't see
What people think ♪
♪ 'Cause we don't care ♪
It's okay, you
don't have to hide.
I'm not wearing make-up
either.
Can I see it?
Oh, come on, I'm going
see it eventually.
I bought you this
giant, cute Panda.
How are you?
[♪♪♪]
[CHUCKLES]
You have amazing handwriting.
[LAUGHS]
Oh, you want to talk
about embarrassed, huh?
- That night
- we brought you in,
Your dad said he'd call
my parents to pick me up
because my phone had died.
But he forgot.
Not that I can blame him.
- I tried to take
- the train home
And somehow ended up
on the wrong train
and ended up in the
middle of nowhere.
- And all the trains
- stopped running,
- So I had to knock
- on this lady's door
To use her phone at,
like, two in the morning.
She got scared, called the
cops, and I got arrested.
All right, not quite, but that's
definitely what it looked
like when cops pulled up
- to my house
- with me in the back.
Right when all of my neighbors
were leaving for work.
It's okay, Carley.
How about this?
I'll make you a deal.
You show me your trach tube,
- and I'll show you
- the scar I got
When I sat on a broken
bottle in the sixth grade.
It's pretty gnarly,
you're going to love it.
CARLEY:
A few weeks later
I started chemo.
Carley Allison?
- Hi, Carrie,
- I'm Sophie.
- I'll be taking
- your blood today.
It's Carley.
Now, did anybody
take your temperature?
Nope.
Great.
- Nobody took
- your temperature.
- Open.
- Close.
- How many chemo
- treatments have you had?
One.
- Any nausea?
- Yes.
Diarrhea?
Not since taco night.
Funny.
Any vomiting?
- Nope.
- [THERMOMETER BEEPS]
How is it?
What?
My temperature?
Normal. Why?
Oh, no reason.
- Okay, you'll be
- experiencing some
- Or all of the side-effects
- I just mentioned
During your treatment.
Roll your sleeve up.
Do I get juice after?
What?
You know when people give
blood... ah, never mind.
Hold that, put pressure on it.
What an asshole, right?
Oh, thank you so...
Did you just call me
an asshole?
No, um, I was messaging
someone and I meant them.
Mm-hm,
I'll see you next week.
- At first I didn't get
- all the gross side effects
- They said I would
- from chemo.
But you know what was gross?
Hey.
We ready?
You got this.
Relax.
Take a deep breath.
Deep breath.
[RUSTLING]
Thanks, Hun.
Okay so we're just
looking for any redness,
hardness, drainage, bruising.
And also be aware
of any bad odors.
You mean other
than Carley's breath?
Hello?
Hi, John.
- I tried to knock,
- but nobody came
To the door,
so I just... Holy.
- We're just changing
- her trach tube.
Okay, got it.
- There we go,
- we got it.
- There, perfect.
- We got it, we got it.
Get another one.
Where?
Bathroom.
Upstairs bathroom!
Sorry!
MAY:
Hurry up!
She can't breathe!
[♪♪♪]
Come on, Sam, hurry up!
You're okay.
You're okay.
You're gonna be okay.
- Come on!
- We don't have much time!
I know!
Got it?
Sure. Okay.
I got it!
[MAY & MARK SPEAK INDISTINCTLY]
- JOHN:
- I got it, I got it.
May!
Okay.
- Okay. It's okay.
- It's okay.
- It's okay
- just try not to move!
- MAY:
- Okay, okay, okay.
Stay calm okay?
Try not to move.
- Here we go, sweetie.
- Stay still.
Here we go, and...
[GASPING]
[LAUGHING]
So gross.
That's good.
I got it, I got it.
You sure you guys
don't need any help?
Oh, really, Mom,
we are fine.
[LAUGHING]
This is not an indication
of my culinary skills.
- You saw that.
- That was completely him.
That was all him.
Look, really, you go relax
and you'll know dinner's ready
when smoke comes pouring
out of the kitchen.
I think they like you.
That's good.
I'm a pretty likable
guy though, so.
So when am I going
to meet your parents?
- Well, I figured after we
- burn down this kitchen,
We'll probably have
to go to my place.
Seriously.
Do you want to wait?
No, no.
Whenever you want, Carley.
What?
Uh...
Um... Let's just wait
until chemo's done.
Whenever you want.
Really.
Look, I should probably
tell you that... I love...
No, no!
What?
I was gonna tell you
how much I love carrots.
They are delicious.
- I should probably cut
- some more.
John.
Yeah?
You know this is going
to get ugly, right?
I don't care.
Okay, but just listen.
Come here.
Look, I'm gonna be bald,
and pukey and I'm
gonna smell like ass,
so I just want you to
picture all of that.
I don't know what
you want me to say.
You don't have permission
to feel bad for me.
I'm always going to be
there for you, Carley.
I promise.
That's a pretty big promise.
If you're in this...
promise me...
you will always smile.
Always.
I made you a promise.
So what did you
say you love again?
Actually I can't remember.
Oh, yeah?
You.
I love you, Carley.
Cool!
Okay, so, I'm recording this
video for posterity,
so if anyone, Sam,
Riley, finds this,
do not watch it or post it
under penalty of death.
Yeah, so there it is.
I'm in the same club
as Mr. Clean
- and the National
- Bird of America.
I'm bald.
I miss my hair,
but this is awesome.
Instead of washing,
rinsing, conditioning,
towel drying, hair-fryer drying,
and applying hair products
for 45 minutes every morning.
I do this.
There, that you can post.
[UPBEAT INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING]
I can't hear you!
Is that a yes?
Yes, yes.
[♪♪♪]
- CARLEY:
- Just stand like a human.
- JOHN:
- I don't know how to.
- CARLEY:
- Don't bend over!
Just keep your back straight!
- JOHN: - Oh, here we go!
- Okay... oof!
[LAUGHING]
[GRUNTS]
Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm okay,
- I'm just embarrassed.
- I'm supposed
- to hold you up.
- It's not your fault
- you suck.
- You're evil,
- you know that?
- Hey, I'm giving you
- a private skating lesson
- At a severely discounted
- rate, so chill.
Okay.
No, but seriously though,
you owe me 20 bucks.
[LAUGHING]
I don't have.
[COUGHING]
Hey, can we sit down?
Yeah.
[COUGHING]
CARLEY: You okay?
JOHN: Please don't let me go.
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
[GASPING]
That's better.
The cold air was like
a razor on my throat.
You know when we were kids
and we mastered a new skill,
our coaches would let
us ring that bell.
[CHUCKLING]
It was the best feeling.
- You know I have to
- try that now, right?
Not until you become
a master of not falling.
Oh, you're on.
How difficult can it be?
This is one that you do,
right?
Like this?
Whoa...
[LAUGHING]
I will ring that bell!
Oh, no.
It's gonna be so perfect.
I'm so excited.
Hi guys!
I haven't seen you in so long!
How are you, Carley?
- Oh, I'm good.
- I'm really good.
I miss you guys.
We need to do frozen yogurt
or something healthier.
Heh, heh. Yeah, sure.
Can she come to
your party too?
I'll forward the
invite to you, Car.
It's just three,
10 people max.
There.
You're kind of an asshole.
I just forgot.
CARLEY:
What's their problem?
It's not like I'm contagious.
- They don't think
- you're contagious.
- Then what?
- I'm gross?
- 'Cause I'm bald,
- skinny, sick.
Why are you even with me?
- I'm with you because
- you make me happy.
- Because of the way you...
- No, stop it!
- I'm gross, and it
- actually makes me so mad
That you're trying to pretend
I'm the same as I was.
Carley.
Carley, you are still the
smart, funny, beautiful girl
that you have always been.
It doesn't matter
what you look like.
- You have one of the
- most beautiful hearts.
- Your eyes...
- Ugh!
Just shut your mouth.
[BOTH LAUGH]
[♪♪♪]
♪ It's hard to see your face ♪
♪ It's a million miles away ♪
♪ I can't help but think ♪
♪ What if I told you ♪
♪ I'm still in love with you ♪
♪ Would it break you ♪
♪ Would it take you down ♪
♪ Would it make you say ♪
♪ All that you wanted ♪
♪ See, now that you're ♪
♪ Standing in front of me ♪
[SONG CONTINUES PLAYING
ON COMPUTER]
So is it any good?
JOHN:
It's great, Car.
You know this account
is public, right?
And?
Fifteen hundred people have
watched this already!
♪ Like this ♪
♪ I care about you ♪
♪ I loved you ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ I loved you ♪
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[♪♪♪]
How you doing, Dad?
You warm enough?
Okay,
roll up your sleeve.
Did you see my video?
What video?
I did a song,
and it's on YouTube.
- Well I would lay off
- the singing
- 'Cause you don't want
- to ruin your voice.
Otherwise you might not
be able to sing again
even if you get better.
When.
What?
Not if.
Look, I don't know if you
are taking this lightly,
or if everyone around you
is choosing
not to tell you what's
going on here,
but you need to know exactly
what you're dealing with.
[SCOFFS]
- Do I have to be on
- the actual brink of death
For you to be nice to me?
Carley, I just said
lay off the singing.
No, you said if.
I'm sorry if that's harsh,
but you need to know exactly
what you're up against.
I'll see you next week.
[♪♪♪]
Today was my first day
back at school in months.
My locker's going
to smell like shit.
Hey, Car.
Hey, Becks.
I'm sorry...
- about
- back at the rink.
I got freaked out.
[ CRYING]
It's just,
I wasn't thinking.
I'm so sorry, Car.
I miss you.
I miss you so much.
- [CRYING]
- I miss you too.
[LAUGHING]
Um... I would have an excuse
to wear a hat inside,
but what are you doing?
Oh, my God!
What did you do?
Solidarity.
[LAUGHING]
You look amazing.
- I want to show you
- something.
- Follow me.
- What?
Come on, run!
Oh, wait, what...
[LAUGHING]
Look!
[SQUEALING]
[CROWD CLAPPING]
They were raising money
for cancer research.
[CRYING]
[♪♪♪]
[RAZOR BUZZING]
♪ Where were you all day ♪
♪ I'm waiting ♪
♪ All the place I craved ♪
[RAZOR BUZZING]
[SCREAMING]
♪ Cast you under ♪
[RAZOR BUZZING]
♪ Fresh match
Light underneath ♪
♪ The only thing
You help me out ♪
Carley, I have short hair and I
want to do it anyway, it's okay.
I would've done this for
your mother, you know.
Aw, thank you.
Absolutely
not!
- I tried, guys.
- I can't do it.
You tried!
It was a good try!
The thing is
someone has to try it.
[SCREAMING]
Come on,
oh, this is great.
Oh, my god!
I need time,
I need time!
Say goodbye.
- I'm so sorry,
- Mom!
Okay, fine,
whatever.
[MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY]
I can't do it!
Oh, my God.
Oh, you are the
best daughter ever!
- Riley, Sam,
- you get in here!
Come on!
I support
in so many other ways.
Yeah, me too!
Get out of here,
chickens.
Go watch your shows.
Oh, see how a man does it.
Bring it on, take some
notes and bring it on!
Taking one
for the team.
- He's gonna look weird.
- No, he's not.
- With a face like that?
- You sure?
- Anything
- for my little girl.
I love you.
I love you.
You ready?
Okay!
I haven't done this before.
[LAUGHING]
MARK:
May, get in here!
She's on, she's on.
INTERVIEWER [ON TV]:
So how are you
dealing with all of this?
I decided to treat cancer
like a contact sport.
If I keep moving,
it can't get me.
- How do you stay
- so positive?
Do you ever feel sad?
Yeah, I get sad.
- But life's too short
- to be unhappy.
You can always
choose to be happy.
- What about people
- with mental illness?
- Can they choose
- to be happy?
Did they just ask Carley
a hardball question?
She's got this.
I know there are a lot of
people who are depressed
for reasons
they can't control.
But like any illness,
you can get help.
You just need support.
So if you know
someone who's ill,
you need to be there for them.
I couldn't have done it
without my parents...
my sisters, Sam and Riley...
and my boyfriend.
Ioannis, this girl,
she goes to your school.
Do you know her?
Umm, yeah.
Where's the goddamn
battery for this thing?
It's in my office.
Can we please
keep some semblance
of consistency around here?
[SIGHING]
What's wrong?
Just trying to document
our daughter's prom.
- You want help
- with the camera?
- Nope.
- You got that.
Maybe Carley can use
some help upstairs?
Riley and Sam are up with her.
Oh.
Oh, okay.
Okay! Just,
okay, what do I need?
Okay, um, let me see.
Okay.
Your face.
You make these weird faces.
MARK: Carley?
Dad, one sec!
Okay, look.
Perfect.
Wow. Car,
you look amazing.
Thanks.
Okay, go, go, go!
I need to change.
Love you.
I love you.
Let me see.
I love you.
♪ Ground is rumbling ♪
♪ Walls are growing thin ♪
♪ Walls are rearranging ♪
♪ All is caving in ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm following
Your lead ♪
♪ Following your lead ♪
♪ Following your lead ♪
♪ Following your lead ♪
♪ It's the blind ♪
♪ Leading the blind ♪
♪ Oh, it's the blind ♪
♪ Leading the blind ♪
[EXHALES]
Screw it.
[♪♪♪]
[WHIRRING]
Hi.
[CHUCKLES]
She looks
beautiful.
You look gorgeous.
Thank you.
Don't cry.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
Someone's here
to see you.
What?
Come on.
Oh, my God,
you look incredible.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Come here.
I was gonna get a corsage,
but I figured you were probably
pretty sick of flowers.
So I got you this instead.
The C stands for...
Cancer?
Carley!
- Oh, my gosh.
- What's wrong with you?
I'm kidding.
You are so weird.
It's beautiful.
Ow!
What is wrong with you?
- How much did you
- spend on this, John?
It's none of your business.
You have college next year.
- You have textbooks
- and beer to pay for.
- You have to return this.
- No!
Return it!
Just let me put on
the damn necklace.
There's no way I'm
returning that.
Thank you, Mr. John.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
[PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
♪ Oh, sit back and listen in ♪
♪ I'll tell you a little story
Don't know where to begin ♪
♪ Close your eyes
And imagine with me ♪
♪ I'll paint a little picture
In your gallery ♪
♪ Tellin' more lies
Bend the truth ♪
♪ I guess that's what you call
A spoiled youth ♪
♪ I'm all right
But a bit uptight ♪
♪ Just keep me busy
On a Saturday night ♪
♪ All your moping ♪
♪ Giving me sorrow ♪
♪ Now you're leaving
I had a feeling, oh ♪
♪ When it's over
Tell it to me like it is ♪
♪ Tell it to me like it is ♪
♪ Tell it to me like it is ♪
♪ Tell it to me like it is ♪
♪ Forget about the story
I was gonna tell ♪
♪ I crumpled up the paper
Threw it into a well, oh ♪
♪ That's just the way
That life does go ♪
♪ How anyone gets by
Shit, I don't know ♪
♪ Rhythm blocks
From an itchy head ♪
♪ Spill from pen and paper
Till the day I'm dead ♪
♪ I'll wrap them up
In a melody ♪
♪ Sing it to you drunkenly ♪
♪ All your moping ♪
♪ Giving me sorrow ♪
- JOHN:
- Where are you taking me?
- [LAUGHING]:
- I'm not telling.
- CARLEY: Oh, my God.
- JOHN: Come on. You're so slow.
I can't run
in these heels.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[♪♪♪]
[GASPING]
It's okay.
You look beautiful.
After they removed my tumor
people were always telling me
how great I looked.
They always leave out the "for
a person with cancer" part,
but it was still there.
I keep this picture to remind me
that this was the
worst I ever looked.
And when I woke up,
it the worst I ever felt.
[♪♪♪]
John could have any
healthy girl he wants.
A girl he can
take out on dates,
not a girl who can
barely stand from chemo.
- That night I didn't think
- about the fact
That I couldn't eat cake
or that I couldn't dance
because I might faint.
Somehow it all went away
for one magic night.
It was perfect.
♪ If it breaks
I'll give it back ♪
High school was over.
[RAZOR BUZZING]
John should be getting ready
for the best years of his life,
not feeding a sick girl
watermelon popsicles
every time she spikes a fever.
JOHN [OVER PHONE]:
Carley, I just... I wanna
know what I did wrong.
If it's the fact that I haven't
introduced you to my parents,
I can explain.
They're just so Greek.
- If they find out that
- I have a girlfriend
- They're going to start
- planning a wedding
And I'm not joking,
all right?
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
CARLEY:
I know I'm going
to get better.
For the next little while,
things could get a lot worse.
[PANTING]
And let's be real.
John can't fight
this battle for me.
For a girl who's always
trying to make people smile,
I can't be the reason
he doesn't.
[♪♪♪]
♪ I can hold my breath ♪
♪ I can bite my tongue ♪
♪ I can stay awake for days ♪
♪ If that's what you want ♪
♪ Be your number one ♪
♪ I can fake a smile ♪
♪ I can force a laugh ♪
♪ I can dance
And play the part ♪
♪ If that's what you ask ♪
♪ Give you all I am ♪
♪ I can do it ♪
♪ I can do it ♪
♪ I can do it ♪
♪ But I'm only human ♪
♪ And I bleed
When I fall down ♪
♪ I'm only human ♪
♪ And I crash
And I break down ♪
♪ Your words in my head
Knives in my heart ♪
♪ You build me up
And then I fall apart ♪
♪ I'm only human ♪
- So you want to go riding
- on Thursday, on Tuesday?
What do you think?
Can we go riding on Tuesday?
- Mm-hmm.
- WOMAN: Yeah, we should do that.
- RILEY: - 'Cause we didn't
- Get to go last week.
- MARK:
- Yeah.
That'll be good.
Yeah.
SAMANTHA:
You have to brush up,
it's been a while.
Hi.
Okay, let's catch
up for a second.
So they originally thought
that my tumor was melanoma,
and it turned out to be
a clear-cell sarcoma.
So imagine melanoma
as a pack of rats
you discover nesting
in your garage.
Clear-cell sarcoma is worse.
Way worse.
Now imagine trying
to shoo them out,
- and discovering that
- the only reason they're there
In the first place is to
feed on a termite infestation
that's running through the
structure of your entire house.
Clear-cell sarcoma of
the trachea is so rare
that it makes me one in
three and a half billion.
- I'm glad you brought
- your family, Carley.
It's important for you to
have your support system
with you through the good
times and the bad times.
This... this is the former.
[SIGHS]
Sorry what's the latter?
- Is that the good times
- or the bad times?
It's good.
You're only the second
known case in the world.
But it looks like
the surgery was successful.
I'm cancer-free?
Technically.
I gotta say you're trending
in the right direction.
But, I'm going need to see
four clear CT scans from you
- before I'm ready to
- say that the chance
Of regression has
dropped exponentially,
which is
our best case scenario.
I love you!
Whoa!
[ALL LAUGHING]
[♪♪♪]
Oh, thank God!
[CRYING]
[WATER RUNNING]
Oh hey.
Sorry, I was just leaving.
I heard your good news.
Huh?
I heard your good news.
- As a science person
- you should know
That there's a whatever
percent chance it comes back.
You pretty much
hate me, don't you?
Is that you asking
for an opinion?
[SCOFFS]
Come here for a second.
Look.
I'm sorry.
I know this might not seem
much to you right now,
but the only reason I said
those things to you is
because I've seen
way worse things come
from not saying them.
You know, it's twisted,
but someone in your position has
to not only look after
your own recovery,
but also the guilt of watching
your loved ones being sad.
The irony is that I work so
hard to keep people alive
and then they end
up hating me for it.
Are you okay?
You know, I'm on
hour 22 of my shift...
[CRYING]
And my cat has been alone
for this whole time.
[LAUGHING]
Oh, come on, it's my cat.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
You wouldn't laugh if you
saw him, he's adorable.
[SNIFFLES]
My...
- [CRYING]
- My dad went.
I'm so sorry.
Thank you.
That comes after
your cat being alone?
[LAUGHING]
It's weird, right.
- [SNIFFLES]
- Yeah.
Thank you.
For all of your help.
Well, thank you
for busting my ass.
[BOTH LAUGH]
It's weird to say it,
but you. uh...
you killed cancer,
Carley.
Good job.
Watch your leg
on the landing!
Engage muscles.
You look like a rag doll
on figure skates.
[BELL RINGING]
Hey, Shin.
CARLEY:
After a few months, I was
ready to start training again.
First, I give my apology.
I was bad coach.
No you weren't.
Good coach would have
known you were sick.
Well, I forgive you.
Hey, remember that thing
you said after I made elite?
Always treat
your triumphs like...
Funerals.
I remember.
It was about not letting
emotions rule your life.
Emotions lead to
mistakes, problems.
- Too many people
- think from here.
Not here.
You are rare person.
Well, apparently, I'm one
in a three and a half billion.
I can get a doctor's
note on that.
Shin, I want to
get back in shape.
Will this help?
[♪♪♪]
Whoa, this is hard.
[COUGHING]
Carley, feel it?
Yeah.
Soon you will sweat
like a pig!
Run little piggy!
Seriously, quit smiling!
You look like
a Batman villain.
Faster!
CARLEY:
And so I had a third of it,
which is the world's...
- [MARK LAUGHING]
- Oh, my gosh.
- CARLEY: - And my legs started shaking.
- I'm like,
- I don't like what's going on.
- It's the legs shaking.
CARLEY:
Oh, it's about to
get so much better.
- Carley.
- Hi!
- I'd like you to
- meet Mr. Bowman,
- He's one of our hospital's
- donors, and also...
- A senior official at
- the National Hockey League.
- It is so nice to
- meet you, Carley.
- My wife and I
- love your videos.
Aw, nice to meet you.
- You have a beautiful
- singing voice.
Thank you so much.
- The NHL would
- like to offer you...
Season tickets?
We'd be delighted.
A chance to sing the
National Anthem at a game.
- I don't know why
- I just said that.
Well, you took a shot.
What do you say?
[LAUGHS]
- CARLEY: - I'm pretty much
- Used to singing
- In front of my
- family and friends,
But now I was about to
sing on national television
in front of millions of people.
Nervous?
No, singing's
sort of my thing, I'm...
I'm good...
I'm good.
[CROWD CHEERING]
ANNOUNCER:
Will you please remain
standing and welcome our singer
for tonight's
Canadian national anthem.
She was diagnosed
with an extremely rare
trachea cancer in 2013,
but that has not stopped her
from performing for us tonight.
Please join me in
welcoming Carley Allison!
[CROWD CHEERING]
♪ O, Canada ♪
♪ Our home and native land ♪
♪ True patriot love ♪
♪ In all thy sons command ♪
♪ With glowing hearts
We see thee rise ♪
♪ The True North
Strong and free ♪
♪ From far and wide ♪
♪ O, Canada, we stand ♪
♪ On guard for thee ♪
♪ God keep our land ♪
♪ Glorious and free ♪
♪ O Canada, we stand ♪
♪ On guard for thee ♪
♪ O Canada, we stand ♪
♪ On guard for thee ♪
[CROWD CHEERING]
[DOORBELL RINGING]
Carley, can you
get the door please?
- Why are you setting
- the table?
[♪♪♪]
Please,
just give me a second.
What are you doing here?
I'm sorry, Carley.
- But I was never afraid
- of you or ashamed
To introduce you to anyone.
I was embarrassed
of my own family.
They're loud, really loud.
My grandparents live with me.
They hardly speak
a word of English.
I just... I didn't want
to overwhelm you.
But I want you.
Me and you were
meant to be together.
Since I was too scared to
bring you to my family,
I brought
my family to you.
[SHOUTS]
♪ You take me away ♪
♪ Pass the clouds
And into space ♪
♪ I daydream about
That place ♪
♪ And if I'm lost ♪
♪ I'm lost with you ♪
♪ We don't have to know ♪
♪ Where we're running to ♪
♪ Or where we'll go ♪
♪ We belong where
The wild things are ♪
♪ You set fire in my heart ♪
♪ We belong where
The wild things roam ♪
♪ Just take my hand
I'm yours to follow ♪
♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Let's go, let's go ♪
[♪♪♪]
[BLADES SCRAPING]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
[CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING]
- SHIN:
- Good job.
Nice applause.
CARLEY:
Are you kidding? I suck now.
That was embarrassing.
- If there were any judges
- I would have gotten...
- Top scores.
- Are you crazy?
- Scores based
- on difficulty.
- What you did
- was very difficult.
Yeah, for sure.
No jokes.
I am very proud
of you, Carley.
Forget competitions.
Forget medals.
This was your
greatest achievement.
Thank you, Shin.
[MACHINE WHIRRING]
Hey, why don't we grab
some Thai on the way home?
- Yeah, I could have Thai.
- That would be nice.
No, Sammy hates Thai.
- Come on.
- Have you ever had
The pineapple fried rice
from Happy Thai?
No, is it really good?
- Oh May, it'll blow
- your mind.
It's beyond.
[METAL CLINKING]
Ow! Okay,
what was that?
Sammy hates Thai!
- Let's just get
- pizza or something.
Pizza it is.
And what is it
you and the dimes?
She threw a dime at her
dad when she was about six
to get his attention
and she hasn't stopped.
If I had a dime for every
time she threw a dime.
[CARLEY LAUGHING]
No, Mom.
Hey, Doc.
So we good?
It spread to my lungs.
♪ She must rest now
Dream so deep ♪
♪ I will caress you ♪
♪ Smile in your sleep ♪
♪ Smile in your sleep ♪
♪ Don't go so fast ♪
♪ And don't get
Too far away from home ♪
♪ Heaven at last ♪
♪ To see how much
My baby's grown ♪
♪ She must rest now
Dream so deep ♪
♪ I will caress you ♪
♪ Smile in your sleep ♪
♪ Smile in your sleep ♪
[♪♪♪]
- [WHISPERS]
- I love you.
I love you, too.
Sophie told me to write
a letter to cancer.
She said her dad did it and
it helped to focus his feels.
So, this is what I wrote.
Fuck you, Cancer.
[LAUGHING]
Okay, that was
a little harsh.
Although I think it
is totally accurate.
I tried to look at it from
a different perspective.
"Dear Carley,
"I'm Cancer.
"What's up?
"How ya doing?
You enjoying the weather?
"[LAUGHING]
Just kidding.
"I can't talk.
"You can't see me.
"I don't have any thoughts.
"I just start growing
inside you,
"and the more I grow,
"the more you die.
"Basically, I'm like
a really needy friend.
"Except I'm not your friend.
"I don't care about
you or who you are.
"All I do is wait for the right
conditions to try and exist,
"and at some point you sat
"in front of a
microwave for too long,
"or had bad DNA, or maybe
even just got unlucky.
"And that was all I needed.
"You're just a Petri dish.
"Thanks for the ecosystem, dude.
"Love, Cancer."
In a figure staking
competition, the area where
you get your scores
is called the kiss and cry.
It was created by champions
who came long before me,
who realized it's not
about what happens
when you're in the box, just
how many times you're in it.
How many times you
keep putting yourself
out there for marks.
And keep coming back no
matter what the results are.
[♪♪♪]
Treat funerals like triumphs.
What did that mean?
It means that life
is full of moments
in which you can choose
to smile or not smile.
Let's be real,
do I wish I was at school?
Yes.
Do I wish I could be
training every day?
Absolutely.
But these last two years
have taught me so much
that I refuse to believe
the cancer inside
of me is a killer.
It doesn't mean it's nice,
but we all can make the choice.
And I choose to smile.
That's my triumph.
A lot of things were kisses.
Cancer was a cry.
But it wasn't my only score.
[♪♪♪]
So you might take me
away from all of this...
but you also remind me that
I got to leave my mark.
And that I am
surrounded by love.
[♪♪♪]
All right.
Thank you, Mr. John.
No problem.
- You guys
- need anything?
Some hot chocolate?
Want to take the truck?
- No one drives
- your truck.
- If you want to take the truck,
- you can take the truck.
Don't be weird.
Just keep hoarding your
truck like a normal dad.
- JOHN:
- That's all right, Mark.
- We'll walk,
- it's not too far.
I will take that though.
Thank you, Mom.
- All right guys,
- see you in a bit.
- MAY:
- See you in a bit.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Okay, go have fun.
[♪♪♪]
♪ I may have grown apart
From others ♪
♪ Thinking days here
In the dark give me change ♪
♪ But hold on
Disasters always spread apart ♪
♪ My line of reason ♪
CARLEY: You ready?
JOHN: Yeah.
- CARLEY:
- Just keep upright.
There you go.
Just push your feet.
See? So much better
than last year.
- Still can't stop,
- though.
You'll stop eventually.
Very funny.
You're always
making me look bad.
You look good to me.
You're just
forgetting one thing.
What's that?
[♪♪♪]
Smile.
Always smile.
♪ Here in a familiar place ♪
♪ We got our heads down ♪
♪ And then we pretend it's
'Cause the night is dark ♪
- MAN: - I'm not sure if
- You've ever heard
- The name
- Carley Allison before,
But Carley, at the age
of 17, was diagnosed
with a very rare form
of cancer.
Everybody is kind of
living their lives
and then all of the
sudden this just happens,
this just falls in her lap.
So today I found out, as I'm
sure you may already know,
Carley passed away.
She was 19.
Nineteen years old.
And she spent the better part
- of the last two years
- fighting this thing.
- WOMAN: - The fact she was
- Able to stay positive
And upbeat and inspire
people through all of it.
MAN:
Absolutely. She was the example
for all of us
and she was determined
not to let cancer win
and even though she succumbed
to it, it didn't win.
So our heart from Kiss 92.5
goes out to her father,
her mother,
her older sister, Riley,
her younger sister, Samantha.
- You have to be
- hurting right now,
But wow you must be so proud.
♪ Let's get on another flight ♪
♪ Maybe set out to sea ♪
♪ Kick it up and
Shake a fist at it ♪
♪ Cause death is
Harder to come by ♪
♪ Than it is to breathe ♪
♪ When you gotta
Make a break for it ♪
♪ 'Cause it's been
A long time of this ♪
♪ Something has got to give ♪
♪ Everyone here
Is ready to go ♪
♪ It's been a hard year
With nothing to show ♪
♪ From down this road ♪
♪ It's only on we go ♪
♪ Everyone here
Is ready to go ♪
♪ It's been a hard year
And I only know ♪
♪ From down this low ♪
♪ It's only up
It's only up we go ♪
♪ Nothing gives easy ♪
♪ Easy gives nothing ♪
♪ I'm just tryin' a keep ♪
♪ Income coming in ♪
♪ Dawn is bound to break ♪
♪ When the night is done ♪
♪ Always darker days ♪
♪ Before brighter ones ♪
♪ Brighter ones ♪
♪ Brighter ones ♪
♪ Brighter ones ♪
CARLEY:
My eyes have been
opened to way more things
than I could ever
imagined at 18.
- If I was to say to someone
- going through cancer
- I'd say the typical
- things, you know,
Keep your head up.
But after going through it,
I know it seems like
there's never an end
- when you're going through.
- Especially chemo.
- But you just have to remember
- that everyone is there
For you all the time
and you will get through it.
Never put
the doubts in your mind.
Never think, oh, well,
I'm really,
really not feeling well.
- You're gonna get
- better in the end.
You've gotta keep that in mind.
♪ Everyone here
Is ready to go ♪
♪ It's been a hard year
With nothing to show ♪
♪ From down this road ♪
♪ It's only on we go ♪
♪ Everyone here
Is ready to go ♪
♪ It's been a hard year
But I only know ♪
♪ From down this low ♪
♪ It's only up, up we go ♪
