-My name's Jack Griffin.
[ Ding! ]
-I'm Chidi Anagonye.
[ Ding! ]
I was a professor of ethics
and moral philosophy.
-I am an award-winning
philosophy scholar,
who, for reason I won't go into,
finds himself with a free year.
♪♪♪♪
All right, everybody.
Start to shut up.
-We're gonna have assignments
and quizzes.
It's gonna be so much fun.
-The entire universe exists
within the cosmic mind.
What are you guys doing?
Don't write that down.
That's not me
teaching you stuff.
-Philosophy is...
about questioning things
that you take for granted.
-You guys are trying to make
a good impression here,
so you're gonna have
to straight-up lie.
-There's an old Chinese proverb.
Lies are like tigers --
They are bad.
-That's it?
-It's more poetic in Mandarin.
-If you don't, someone else
will, so it's fine.
It's called holistic
consequentialism.
The consequences are the same
either way.
-Utilitarianism posits
the correct choice
is the one that causes
the most good
and the least pain
and suffering.
-There's no greater pick-me-up
than taking down somebody
who's wronged you.
-Here's the problem --
if all that matters
is the sum total of "goodness,"
then you can justify any number
of bad actions.
-My actions are justified
because they produce
a better outcome
than any other action
in this particular case.
It's a basic philosophy.
Act utilitarianism --
Jeremy Bentham.
Stop writing that down.
-"The Metaphysic of Morals"
by Immanuel Kant.
It's a book on how to act good.
-Principal Durbin give us
a lot of freedom,
which Aristotle defines
as obedience
to self-formulated rules.
-Aristotle was Plato's student.
-Are we sure we should be paying
attention to these guys?
It's like, who died and left
Aristotle in charge of ethics?
-Philosophy is not
a popularity contest.
Okay? It is a precise
and rigorous expression
of universal truths.
It's not about
who's getting a good buzz,
and who's on TV
on the stupid Oprah sh--
You know what?
You've ruined my empanada!
-The true meaning of life
is nihilism.
The world is empty.
There is no point to anything,
and you're just gonna die.
So, do whatever.
-This is why everyone hates...
moral philosophy professors.
-Yeah, I know.
-See ya, dudes.
[ Switch clicks, door closes ]
[ All murmur ]
