Hello hello, welcome to Hippo Dad.
Before I begin, I just want to state that
I do not consider myself a hateful person.
Hippo Dad has enough love in his heart for
all people.
Diversity is a good thing, it would be boring
if everyone were the same.
That said, I do have a confession.
I'm not too wild about the French.
I've just always kind of felt like they seem
rude and pretentious.
In retrospect, I don't think I've given them
a fair shake.
I can count the number of French people I've
physically met on one hand.
While the few I've met were assholes, I do
recognize that this is not a large enough
of a sample to draw any definitive conclusions.
Most of my knowledge about French culture
stems from Ratatouille and that one Rugrats
movie, so this problem may just stem from
my own personal ignorance.
That said, today I want to do something a
little bit different.
I want to try and learn a little bit more
about French culture.
Hopefully the added exposure will help me
break down my walls and change how I see France
and her people.
Without further ado, let's jump on in.
Bonjour.
Ok, we're off to a good start.
This neighborhood does look a lot like the
ones we have here at home.
No weird mimes or other weird shit.
Maybe we're not so different.
The lady seems nice enough.
She walked up to her neighbor and said "bonjour."
This of course means "hello" or "good day"
in French.
A very common-
Holy shit, he cold clocked her.
God damn Pepe!
What the hell was that for?
That shit never happened in Rugrats.
Is that a common way to greet people in France?
Damn.
Let me check Google real quick.
I'm not really sure.
When I searched "knock-out greeting" on Google
the only result was a picture of Bill O'Riley
throwing his ex-wife down a flight of stairs.
Man, that was a hell of a haymaker from a
French guy that looks 90 pounds soakin' wet.
He looks like that malnourished critic from
Ratatouille.
I hope she's gonna be ok.
Oh, so we're in a French office building now.
Interestingly enough, the average work week
in France is only 35 hours, much lower than
the estimated 47 hours in the United States.
This is mainly due to differences in th-....
Wait, is that same woman from before?
Yeah, yeah.
Look, that's the same hair.
She's got the same shirt on.
Man, she sure is brave coming to work after
what happened to her this morning.
At least her coworker seems nice.
Its good to have someone to confide in.
You know, the French word for friend is Amie.
Well, it's actually gender specific.
Amie with the "e" is the feminine version.
The masculine version "Ami" simply drops the
"e" though it doesn't change how the word
is prun-
OH MY GOD!
What the fuck!
He slammed her head into that coffee machine!
Why?
What did that woman do to make him so mad?
Jesus, that poor lady.
That man is a definitely not a good Ami.
She just got assaulted by her neighbor this
morning.
Is this a common thing in France?
Where the hell was all this aggression when
the Nazi's invaded?
Maybe if Hitler had filled his army full of
women then the French might have thrown a
punch or two.
I don't know, maybe he just really wanted
to get her some coffee.
Speaking of which, France actually has a very
rich history with coffee.
The first coffee shop opened up in France
in 1671, just two short years after a French
ambassador introduced the drink to King Louis
the XIV.
Oh good, she appears to be ok.
She looks a lot better now.
Good thing there aren't any men around to
attack her unprovoked and without warning.
She looks like she's having fun clothes shopping
with her buddy.
Oh, that's right.
France has always been closely associated
with the fashion industry.
Many of the worlds most desired designs and
fashion trends originated from Paris.
I guess it's not too surprising that Paris
is considered the fashion capital of the world.
Anyone considering a career in the fashion
industry should certain-
...what the fuck?
Is there something I don't see?
Is there something I'm somehow missing?
Maybe this woman got cursed by an angry gypsy?
Even other women are attacking her now?
She grabbed her right in the clam!
Given' the old presidential handshake and
then tossed against the wall like garbage.
Man, fuck this shitty count-
My wife wants to visit Paris one day.
It's part of the reason I'm trying to get
over my hang-ups now.
She told me she wants to visit the Louvre.
I always thought my own attitude was going
to be the biggest hurdle I had to overcome
in order to make that happen, but now I have
to worry about her getting punched by Pepé
Le Pew or assaulted in a changing room by
an alpha female.
It seems I'm not going to be able to take
her anywhere unless it's in an armored car.
...I don't know man.
...I don't know.
Speaking of the Louvre, the museum just happens
to be the home to the world-famous Mona Lisa.
The painting was completed by Leonardo da
Vinci in 1503.
Many of you may remember Leonardo better as
the leader of the Ninja Turtles.
Leonardo and his brothers were found crawling
through a mysterious puddle of ooze by a large
bi-pedal rat.
The rat raised the turtles and trained them
in martial ar-
Oh, good.
It looks like she made it home.
She even managed to pick up groceries without
getting pile drived by the check-out clerk.
Looks like nana decided to come in and help
put away the groceries.
I feel pretty confident that she's gonna be
ok.
There aren't any men around.
And nana looks like she's already gone through
menopause, so I doubt she is going to charge
her like that Amazonian lesbian in the changing
room.
Well, that about wraps things up.
I hate to admit, but not a lot of what I've
seen today really changes my opini-
Oh shit!
Nana no!
Why?!
I hate this place.
Everyone is so mean and violent.
Even the little girl on the bike doesn't seem
to give a shit.
Look, she just rides by.
She don't care.
This is every day.
This is all the time.
Yeah, no.
I'm good.
There's like 40 other countries in Europe.
We're just going to go around these mother
fuckers and their burnt ass church.
I'm just gonna end the video before that lady
gets killed.
Thanks for watching.
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Till next time.
