[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hi!
I'm Kristen Bell,
and I had butt worms.
Oh.
Had, relax.
But it's not my
fault. I got them
from my beautiful,
special children.
Seriously, you guys,
kids are gross.
(SINGING) To all you moms
out here doing it right.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hi, everyone!
Hi, Kristen!
Hi.
Yeah, that's right.
My name is Kristen, or
you can call me Miss Bell
if you want to keep it profesh.
What's the grossest thing
you guys have ever done?
Oh, I know.
Oh, no.
Gosh, I'm scared.
One time I saw this bird poop.
It looked dry, so I touched
it, but then it was all wet.
So then poop got on my finger.
The grossest thing, hands down,
not only my kid has ever done,
but any kid I've ever heard of,
is he picked up our puppy's dog
poop, put it in his
hands and played with it,
and applied it in his mouth.
The grossest thing my kid
has probably ever done
maybe is stick her
toothbrush in the toilet bowl
before she brushed her teeth,
or it could be eating dog food.
Probably when they
were babies and they
used to do that
projectile vomit thing.
I just remember holding
him out and projectile.
Gross.
And another time
he skated in it.
He just found some poop
somewhere and just skated
in it.
What's the grossest thing your
super cute kid has ever done?
Ohh.
Being at a restaurant, Mateo
found a piece of chewed gum
underneath the table,
removed it from the table
and started chewing
the chewed gum.
And I almost threw
up in my mouth.
Well, Mila, her nickname
is actually Sugar Booger
because she eats her boogers.
No!
[GIGGLING]
My kids do that too
and I always tell them,
I'm like, no your body
is trying to let that go.
She doesn't care.
But at least she doesn't
put them all over the house.
That's the upside.
We are struggling with
that at the moment.
Yeah, and it was
just revealed to us.
Because my older one
said, "I have a booger.
I'm going to go put
it in the trash."
And the little one
said, "The trash?
I just put them on the house."
And so we're just like
looking for boogers now.
So cute.
Oh my god.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
We had pinkeye once.
Not so bad.
We did have hand,
foot, and mouth.
We have had a lice case
with one of our kids.
My daughter did get
Coxsackie virus.
My kids have had lice,
they've had roseola, scabies.
Didn't let them in the house.
That was the key.
Don't let them in the house.
Who's had lice?
Oh, I had lice in my hair.
You did?
[GIGGLING]
He has never had lice.
Would you guys mind if I
just gave you a little check,
just to be sure?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hmm.
This is looking
pretty, pretty good.
Now, you said you had lice once.
Yeah.
What did it feel like?
It felt really itchy, but it
doesn't feel really itchy now.
But I don't know, there might
be just some nits in there.
Some nits?
Yeah.
Termites cause lice I think.
What?
I'm going to have
to check on that.
Oh, oh, oh no.
Oh, no.
No, that's just a
little bit of breakfast.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
The grossest thing my
daughter has ever done,
she went to use the
bathroom, all of a sudden I
heard this kind of like,
what happened or whatever.
I ran into the bathroom.
There was poop all over the
floor, like on the wall.
I somehow also stepped in it.
It was on my feet.
And so as I stood there shocked
that, like, I had stepped
in it, and it was like
on her and the wall,
and I didn't even know
how it all happened.
My dog came in and started
eating my daughter's poop.
So I guess it's actually the
grossest thing my dog's ever
done.
You guys are really
nothing, but a walking Petri
dish full of feces and love.
And you know what?
We wouldn't change a
thing, would we moms?
No.
No.
We absolutely wouldn't.
And now I want all of you
to raise your right hand
and repeat after me, OK?
I--
I--
Now state your name.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
--do solemnly swear--
Do solemnly swear--
--never to be gross again.
--never to be gross again.
Congratulations, moms.
Your kids are excellent liars.
[LAUGHTER]
Up top, guys.
Yeah!
Yeah!
[LAUGHTER]
Presented by the new Johnson's,
improved inside and out.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
