The future is coming fast,
and it's here now,
which means Ronny Chieng is back
with another installment
of "Today's Future Now."
-♪ ♪
-(applause and cheering)
Thanks, Trevor.
The "Computer" Electronics Show
in Las Vegas just wrapped up.
It's the annual convention
where tech companies show off
new gadgets so useless,
they make men's nipples
seem functional.
And this year was no exception.
The nation's most anticipated
tech show of the year
opens its doors to the public
today in Las Vegas.
The Consumer Electronics Show--
CES-- gives us a glimpse
of the new technology
that will be making its way
into our lives.
WOMAN: This year at CES,
there's a faucet I can talk to.
MAN: If turning on
the faucet ever feels
like a lot of work, then meet
the U by Moen Smart Faucet.
It takes voice commands.
Hey, Google, ask Moen
to dispense two cups of water.
-MALE VOICE: Getting Moen.
-(chime)
FEMALE VOICE: Wave over sensor
to dispense two cups now.
(chime)
Two cups.
(laughter)
At last, a faucet that takes
30 minutes to fill a cup.
(laughter)
Who is this for?
Is there someone out there
who's like,
"Finally a sink for me,
the guy who wants
"to drink exactly two cups
of water and not a drop more.
"I don't want
to be overhydrated,
"and I don't want
to be underhydrated.
I want to be
perfectly hydrated"?
Also, by the way, every faucet
is a faucet you can talk to
if you're very, very lonely,
okay? Trust me.
What... what would impress me--
if they actually invented
a faucet
that you can't talk to, okay?
It's, like, you ask it for a cup
of water, and it's like,
"Look, I'm just not ready
to open up right now, okay?"
And if you're hoping CES will
bring us the latest advancements
in artificial intelligence,
well, keep hoping,
because the robot uprising
is gonna take a while.
Samsung has unveiled Neon,
the world's first artificial
humans at this year's
Consumer Electronics Show
in Las Vegas.
These virtual beings look
and behave like humans.
Creators claim that the
human avatars have the ability
to converse and sympathize
like real people.
Okay, so, I'm about to get
to chat with Neon
and ask it a few questions.
Here we go.
And my questions are going
to be relayed
by Simon here to Neon.
Neon,
what's your favorite food?
Neon, what's your favorite food?
Pizza.
(laughter)
Wow. Millions of dollars
in research and development,
and that's the big revelation.
Pizza.
I bet
that's the only word she knows.
It's like, "Hey, Neon,
how do we solve climate change?"
And two hours later,
it's like, "Pizza."
(laughter)
And also, how does it even know
it likes pizza?
How can you trust something
that's never eaten before?
That's like asking the pope
about his favorite sex position.
-(groaning) -He's not qualified
to answer, okay?
And what kind of sorry-ass
tech demo is this?
Why do I have to ask the guy
to ask the robot for me?
(laughter)
Does-does he come
with the computer?
Imagine if that's how it worked
with Siri.
Say, hey, Siri,
turn on the lights.
I mean... (scoffs) Sorry.
-Hey, Derrick.
-(laughter)
Tell Siri to turn on the lights.
(laughter)
Thanks, Derrick.
But luckily,
not all the stupid stuff
at CES is useless this year,
because one new invention might
actually change our lives.
WOMAN:
A company called DnaNudge
helps shoppers
make healthier decisions
while grocery shopping
based on their DNA.
So you go into the supermarket,
take a DNA test, and then,
you wear a band that scans
groceries as you shop
to recommend the best food
for you based on your DNA.
So what-what I can do,
if I'm wearing this device,
is turn up to the supermarket
and actually scan a product.
And that-that went red,
so that means
this isn't ideal
for my body chemistry.
-(laughter)
-Okay.
DNA grocery shopping kind of
sounds like it might make sense.
Although, I got to be honest.
This whole thing sounds
like the world's worst
Lizzo remix, all right?
♪ I just took a DNA test ♪
♪ Turns out I'm 100%... ♪
Buying Cheetos.
(laughter)
Yo. We don't need a DNA test
to know that we need
to eat healthy food, okay?
Let me help you out.
If all your eating
comes in a box
with a cartoon character on it,
it's bad for you, okay?
There, I just saved you $200.
Eating healthy isn't
that complicated.
(bleep) your DNA.
Just eat more vegetables, okay?
We don't need to map
the human genome
to know that it's a bad idea
to eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's.
Just test the DNA.
Are you... are you Irish?
Eat more vegetables.
Are you... are you Chinese?
Eat more vegetables.
Oh, you're two percent
West African and 98% Swedish?
Well, eat more vegetables.
And by the way,
that just means you're white.
Ronny, Ronny...
you seem especially upset
by this DNA service.
Hell yeah, I am!
I gave it my DNA.
It told me to eat more walnuts
and that I'm adopted, okay?
Which sucks,
because I hate walnuts.
-(laughter)
-Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to ask Derek to ask Siri
to ask my faucet
-to get me a new slice of pizza.
-Ronny Chieng, everyone.
