- All right, you got yogurt for macros.
You got spinach for iron.
You got bananas for potassium
and you got dark chocolate
for macros.
- Oh, I feel so gross.
I haven't been to the
gym in like three days.
- I'm trying to put on
about 10 pounds of mass
in the next week.
- Oh shoot.
Not powerful enough,
too much protein in this.
- I don't want to work out,
but I didn't work out on Tuesday,
so I have to.
(blender whirring)
- Oh my gosh.
(grunting)
- Sorry I'm kinda off today.
My yoga instructor's on retreat
and her sub is terrible.
(moaning)
- You're a bird and you love it.
Ready?
- One, two, one, two, one, two.
- I always stretch before a funeral.
(gagging)
- A lot of macros in there.
(buzzing)
(yelling)
Oh, easy.
I can help you out with this.
All you gotta do is lift with your legs.
- All right.
Now we're gonna do it again with the 25s.
Flap like a bird on three.
One, two.
(groans)
Oh, nevermind.
Drop the 25s.
- I'm gonna look so good at my wedding.
(phone ringing)
- Can someone get that?
I'm rolling glutes right now.
- Glutes out.
(deeply inhales)
It's all about form.
- Remember ladies,
lift with your legs.
It is all about form.
- Oh, my shoulders are so sore.
- Yo, which pre-workout
feels the most like meth?
- Can you take a picture of me
looking at myself in the mirror?
- Yo, bro, can you film me really quick?
Thanks dude.
(pained yelling)
Yo, how was my form?
Oh nice!
- I can't have pizza.
It's gonna mess up my macros.
- Oh, don't worry.
It's just one bite.
I'm going for a run later.
- Yeah, no, no, no, no.
I'm on keto.
No sugars and carbs, like a caveman.
- A five mile run.
- I'm on the Kellogg's diet
where I only wheat and dairy.
- 10 mile run.
- Oh, sorry.
I can't, I'm on the Renaissance diet.
I can only have oils and canvas.
- I'm training for a marathon.
- Cake?
I wish.
I'd feel like such a slob later.
(pained yelp)
- I deserve this donut.
I worked out this morning.
- Oh, have you tried the 49 day cleanse?
- Hey, let me know if
anyone wants to sign up
for the Rock and Roll Marathon with me.
It's where you wake up on Sunday
at 4:00 am to run 26 miles.
- Get some air, just breathe.
- Hey, if anybody wants to sign up
for the Achilles race this weekend,
it's a 26 mile marathon,
where you run through
snake pits and fire lava.
Let me know.
(strained gasping)
If anybody wants to sign up for the
Tough Son of a Bitch race this weekend,
Let me know.
It's where they electrocute you
while you're just trying your best.
- Looking for a good defense attorney?
My court is the gym.
- Does anybody want to sign up
for the Bad-Ass Mother-Father
race this weekend?
Let me know.
It's where your family
disowns you and you each
have to run 26 miles to go
comfort yourself with ice cream,
which they then deny you.
- I'm gonna be hotter than my mom.
- I do Orange Theory on Thursdays.
So, you should totally come along.
Oh, have you done Lit Method?
- I go to Fight Lab.
It's where you go to different stations
and then fight in different styles.
- Been doing Scotts Smith.
It's Scottish cardio mixed
with furnace sprinting.
- I've been doing Sky Box.
- Pony Sweat.
- Hot Bike.
- Butt Camp.
- Mean Guy Makes Me Feel Bad.
- Puke Room.
- Bear Sex.
- Wizard Cats Revenge.
- Been doing CrossFit,
the religious kind .
- Infant Fight Club.
- Bootay.
- Been doing Urban Outfittness.
- Hot Yoga Core Stretch Rhythmic Punch.
- Baby Boy Butt Bops.
- Green Man Makes Me
Confront My Demons in a Bog.
- Yo, good form, Mark.
Mark's been doing a lot of (beeping).
- I just feel better after
I work out, you know.
(sighing)
(keyboard clacking)
(techno music)
- Wow.
What a bunch of crazy characters
saying a bunch of wacky things.
And when will people learn
that there are no actual
benefits to working out?
Don't look that up.
It's a fact.
Instead, spend your time
clicking on this video over here,
which we also made or support
us down at smosh.store
over here.
And if you haven't subscribed yet,
what are you doing?
Click down here to do that.
And instead of looking
up that fact that I said,
I'm just going to keep working out
while you do all those things.
Time for tummy lunges.
Duh.
