- And I just need you--
- See, you need me.
- The department needs you
because you're the one--
- I'm the one?
(exciting music)
(blows raspberry)
(grunts)
(groans)
- You look like hell.
(sputters)
- Not heard that before.
- I will never, ever, ever sleep with you.
Never.
- Playing hard to get, I like it.
- When hell freezes over, Lucifer.
- I can arrange that, actually.
- That's where great
ideas come in the shower.
- For me it's usually women.
- Let's pretend for one second
that you're someone else.
Someone nice, someone mature.
- Ooh, I love role play.
- Great.
- Don't you need some
sort of key to start it?
(engine starts)
- You know me, brother.
Can turn anything on.
- These are going back on
and they're gonna stay on.
- Is that a promise?
- You have no idea how hard it is
holding out for marriage, man.
- Uncomfortably hard, I'm sure.
- I need you to be honest with me.
Completely honest about who you are.
- Very well.
(blues music)
- Have you ever heard of
a demon getting a soul?
(Lucifer scoffs)
- Of course not, that's impossible.
- So just tell me, is that
why you haven't said it back?
- Haven't said what back?
Oh.
Detective, it's complicated.
- Yes, before you fell
you were known as Samael.
The light bringer.
- I don't go by that name anymore.
- It's a real good seeing you, Samael.
- What did you say?
- [Man] You're just Samael.
- Stop calling me that.
(groans)
- Well unless you're a danger
to yourself or others--
- How's that?
- Great.
- Lovely.
- I was gonna blow Chloe up but Amenadiel
talked me out of it.
- You what?
Mother, I swear, if you
hurt her I will rip--
- Well, looks like your brother was right.
- Bitch.
- Her name was Ali Thornton,
and then you killed her for what?
- [Joe] Forget this, I'm outta here.
(glass shatters)
(laughs)
- You've got a gun!
Scary.
Hey, you tell Steve I
am officially impressed.
- You think this is funny?
(screaming)
(laughs)
Maybe it's a bit funny.
(screaming)
(industrial music)
- Don't tell him the devil made you do it.
- I mean, why do they blame me
for all their little failings
as if I'd spent my days
sitting on their shoulder,
forcing them to commit acts
they'd otherwise find repulsive.
Oh, the devil made me do it!
I have never made any one
of them do anything, never!
- I mean, with all the good
came a hell of a lot of bad.
- Oh, right.
So the devil made you do it, Did he?
The alcohol and the drugs,
the topless selfies.
The choices are on you, my dear.
(exciting rock music)
