We like people who are interested in us.
So one of the most useful ways to build rapport
and gain friends and all that stuff, is to
show interest non-verbally, right?
So, to look like you're interested.
But this is the problem, is when we think
that somebody is trying to get something out
of us, we don't like it.
So for example, one of my students approaches
me after class and is like, "Oh, excuse me,
um, professor, I loved your lecture.
I think this is the best lecture you ever
gave."
And then all the sudden, like, five minutes
later, "Oh by the way, I'm gonna to, I'm gonna
to, um, Puerto Rico with my boyfriend next
week.
Is it okay if I miss the test?"
I don't like that because it was a compliment
followed by, you know, some sort of, they
want something.
One of the things that people mistake when
they feign non-verbals is they do it 100 percent
of the time.
So I can show you that, you know, like, this
is oh I'm interested in you.
Oh yeah, tell me more.
Da da da da.
And it looks like I'm really interested.
Oh yeah yeah yeah.
But the average person can't maintain this
for long.
So one of the things you need to do is if
you want to fake body language you don't do
it 100 percent of the time.
You do it like 70.
It's not natural for you to do something 100
percent of the time.
People don't interact like that.
If one person is incredibly interested in
somebody they don't look like this non-stop
for 30 minutes.
It's not possible.
Human attention spans aren't this long.
So when you act like you're interested, you
don't want to do it a lot.
You want to do it 70 percent.
It's more organic.
