
English: 
Every year,
we sell the same ifhone...
...to you just by adding a
higher number and *** you.
Presenting to you, our new...
...ifhone xxx.
S pro Max.
12 MB. Applause!
Oh! Sorry.
We gave a deep thought for
the design of next ifhone.
One day, I was in my bathroom.
I saw my ***.
I realized that my *** is too small.
I started crying.
Then I questioned myself.
Ashish, is there anything
in this universe...
...which is smaller
than your ***?
Then our new ifhone's
idea strook my mind.

Hindi: 
Every year,
we sell the same ifhone...
...to you just by adding a
higher number and *** you.
Presenting to you, our new...
...ifhone xxx.
S pro Max.
12 MB. Applause!
Oh! Sorry.
We gave a deep thought for
the design of next ifhone.
One day, I was in my bathroom.
I saw my ***.
I realized that my *** is too small.
I started crying.
Then I questioned myself.
Ashish, is there anything
in this universe...
...which is smaller
than your ***?
Then our new ifhone's
idea strook my mind.

English: 
Why don't we design
our ifhone so small...
...that it appears
smaller than our ***?
We should never question ourself...
...that is there anything
in this universe...
...which is smaller
than our ***?
New ifhone...
...xxxs is the one.
Let's check out the
honest reviews...
...of some of our customers.
My husband's *** is so big...
...as compared to this ifhone.
As you can see...
...she is more happy with
Double Apple ifhone...
...than her husband.
We give you something for
free with ifhone every year.
Broken glasses,
destroyed headphones.
Charger stops functioning
within two days.
But this year, we are giving you
something more for free with ifhone.
This year, along with
ifhone, you will get...
...property for free.
All you have to do is...
...you have to go your home
and tell your father...
...dad, I've purchased a new ifhone!
Then your father will
ask you its price.
You have to tell your father
the price of ifhone this year.
Which is rupees 4,00,000!
When he hears this...

Hindi: 
Why don't we design
our ifhone so small...
...that it appears
smaller than our ***?
We should never question ourself...
...that is there anything
in this universe...
...which is smaller
than our ***?
New ifhone...
...xxxs is the one.
Let's check out the
honest reviews...
...of some of our customers.
My husband's *** is so big...
...as compared to this ifhone.
As you can see...
...she is more happy with
Double Apple ifhone...
...than her husband.
We give you something for
free with ifhone every year.
Broken glasses,
destroyed headphones.
Charger stops functioning
within two days.
But this year, we are giving you
something more for free with ifhone.
This year, along with
ifhone, you will get...
...property for free.
All you have to do is...
...you have to go your home
and tell your father...
...dad, I've purchased a new ifhone!
Then your father will
ask you its price.
You have to tell your father
the price of ifhone this year.
Which is rupees 4,00,000!
When he hears this...

Hindi: 
...your father will do this.
And the entire property is yours!
Isn't it an exciting feature, guys?
As technology is advancing...
...we want our machines
to understand us.
They come close to us. They...
No! Just come close.
Just come close.
That's why, this time, we've...
...invented such an artificial
intolerable system...
...that ifhone will...
...download apps judging
you and as per your needs.
Automatic IQ and
dictionary will be...
...downloaded for
foolish girls like Kamla.
But if you are fond of dancing...
...then TikTok will be
downloaded automatically.
Children of this age are...
...fond of photography.
Instagram, Snapchat.
For them, we are launching
three cameras in ifhone.
Because this time we'll charge
you three times more money.
We will **** you thrice.
No, third camera is hidden.
Through this camera, we stole...
We store your data.
We secure it.
One of the feature of this camera
is, if one camera doesn't work...

English: 
...your father will do this.
And the entire property is yours!
Isn't it an exciting feature, guys?
As technology is advancing...
...we want our machines
to understand us.
They come close to us. They...
No! Just come close.
Just come close.
That's why, this time, we've...
...invented such an artificial
intolerable system...
...that ifhone will...
...download apps judging
you and as per your needs.
Automatic IQ and
dictionary will be...
...downloaded for
foolish girls like Kamla.
But if you are fond of dancing...
...then TikTok will be
downloaded automatically.
Children of this age are...
...fond of photography.
Instagram, Snapchat.
For them, we are launching
three cameras in ifhone.
Because this time we'll charge
you three times more money.
We will **** you thrice.
No, third camera is hidden.
Through this camera, we stole...
We store your data.
We secure it.
One of the feature of this camera
is, if one camera doesn't work...

English: 
...then the second one will work.
If the second one stops...
...then the third one will work.
Even if the third
one stops working...
...then presenting you
our new product...
iLens!
Sold separately.
Only for...
Rs. 200,000,
plus GST.
Plus delivery charges, income tax...
...standing tax...
...double apple tax.
Plus double tax,
because it's double apple.
Plus packing charges. Plus insurance.
Plus Diwali's expense.
Plus traffic's fine.
So, the total will be...
Only Rs. 800,000!
ILens! Only for you, guys!
You know, other products
connect automatically.
All you have to do is...
Every year we're told
ifhones have lousy battery.
It's bad, it's doesn’t work well.
So, we've removed the battery, ****.

Hindi: 
...then the second one will work.
If the second one stops...
...then the third one will work.
Even if the third
one stops working...
...then presenting you
our new product...
iLens!
Sold separately.
Only for...
Rs. 200,000,
plus GST.
Plus delivery charges, income tax...
...standing tax...
...double apple tax.
Plus double tax,
because it's double apple.
Plus packing charges. Plus insurance.
Plus Diwali's expense.
Plus traffic's fine.
So, the total will be...
Only Rs. 800,000!
ILens! Only for you, guys!
You know, other products
connect automatically.
All you have to do is...
Every year we're told
ifhones have lousy battery.
It's bad, it's doesn’t work well.
So, we've removed the battery, ****.

Hindi: 
I assure you...
...that this year we are
selling the battery separately.
Presenting you, iBattery.
Only for Rs. 1,00,000!
And to charge this iBattery,
we'll sell power bank too...
So here's iPowerbank.
And to charge that iPowerbank,
we'll sell the inverter too.
iInverter.
We'll sell the electricity for iInverter.
Presenting, iElectricity.
The switch board...
...through which the electricity
will pass, it'll be ours.
Presenting you, iSwitchboard.
The electricity...
...will come from the iGenerator...
...which will also be ours.
It'll cost Rs. 1.5 millions.
If you buy these
products separately...
...then it'll cost you
around Rs. 2.8 millions.
But with double
apple's package rate...
...all the products
will cost you...
...for only Rs. 3 million.
You will need a bag to keep
all the products together.
We'll sell the bag too.
Presenting you...
...our new iBag.
Only for 200,000.

English: 
I assure you...
...that this year we are
selling the battery separately.
Presenting you, iBattery.
Only for Rs. 1,00,000!
And to charge this iBattery,
we'll sell power bank too...
So here's iPowerbank.
And to charge that iPowerbank,
we'll sell the inverter too.
iInverter.
We'll sell the electricity for iInverter.
Presenting, iElectricity.
The switch board...
...through which the electricity
will pass, it'll be ours.
Presenting you, iSwitchboard.
The electricity...
...will come from the iGenerator...
...which will also be ours.
It'll cost Rs. 1.5 millions.
If you buy these
products separately...
...then it'll cost you
around Rs. 2.8 millions.
But with double
apple's package rate...
...all the products
will cost you...
...for only Rs. 3 million.
You will need a bag to keep
all the products together.
We'll sell the bag too.
Presenting you...
...our new iBag.
Only for 200,000.

English: 
Our next feature is...
...for kids and slackers.
This year double apple
proudly presents...
...IFilter.
And the best part is...
...we will sell
the filter separately.
Only for Rs. 50,000/per piece.
All we have to do is...
...you have to buy this filter.
You have to put this
filter on the person...
...whose photo you
have to click.
You can see the
change and variety...
...the filter brings.
You just have to tie
this filter tightly.
I can't breath!
Now... Hey, calm down.
Let me take a good picture first.
Now you can see how
good it's filter is.
You can see how the filter
enhances his expressions.
Just hold on a minute.
I'm taking a video.
You can see how good...
...the customer satisfaction is.
And this man...
...is enjoying so much. Yes,
I'll click a boomerang picture.
He was so satisfied
with the filter.
They made him lose his breath.
He was, like, breathless, looking
at the features of our phone.

Hindi: 
Our next feature is...
...for kids and slackers.
This year double apple
proudly presents...
...IFilter.
And the best part is...
...we will sell
the filter separately.
Only for Rs. 50,000/per piece.
All we have to do is...
...you have to buy this filter.
You have to put this
filter on the person...
...whose photo you
have to click.
You can see the
change and variety...
...the filter brings.
You just have to tie
this filter tightly.
I can't breath!
Now... Hey, calm down.
Let me take a good picture first.
Now you can see how
good it's filter is.
You can see how the filter
enhances his expressions.
Just hold on a minute.
I'm taking a video.
You can see how good...
...the customer satisfaction is.
And this man...
...is enjoying so much. Yes,
I'll click a boomerang picture.
He was so satisfied
with the filter.
They made him lose his breath.
He was, like, breathless, looking
at the features of our phone.

Hindi: 
Can you understand?
Yeah? This filter comes
in three variants.
Nude Waste, Blue Film...
...and Urine Yellow.
Presenting to you...
...our new feature, IPay.
First, turn on your iFhone.
Download the IPay app on it.
Feed in the number of
the person you have to pay.
As soon as you key
in his number...
...you will get his address.
You have to go to his house...
...open the IPay app...
...and put the cash on
the phone and give it to him.
That person will
take your phone...
...keep the cash and
return your phone.
Simple.
These AirPods are
really amazing.
Take out your new EarPods.
They are amazing, right?
You can see their design.
They look so airy.
Be careful or you'll drop them.
Put them in your ear...
...take your phone out
and play a song on it.
"The garbage man is here,
take out the trash!."
Do you know what's the best
thing about these pods?

English: 
Can you understand?
Yeah? This filter comes
in three variants.
Nude Waste, Blue Film...
...and Urine Yellow.
Presenting to you...
...our new feature, IPay.
First, turn on your iFhone.
Download the IPay app on it.
Feed in the number of
the person you have to pay.
As soon as you key
in his number...
...you will get his address.
You have to go to his house...
...open the IPay app...
...and put the cash on
the phone and give it to him.
That person will
take your phone...
...keep the cash and
return your phone.
Simple.
These AirPods are
really amazing.
Take out your new EarPods.
They are amazing, right?
You can see their design.
They look so airy.
Be careful or you'll drop them.
Put them in your ear...
...take your phone out
and play a song on it.
"The garbage man is here,
take out the trash!."
Do you know what's the best
thing about these pods?

Hindi: 
You wear the headphones...
...but everyone
listens to the song.
This is the speciality
of our new product.
Presenting to you,
our new product...
...IStick.
This product is for those
whose phone stops working.
Take out your phone...
...look at it and say...
...hey ***, start working!
Get working,
I have spent so much on you.
Come on ****.
Yet your phone won't work.
You need to get this iStick...
...and hit the
phone on its back.
Come on!
It won't work even a bit...
...because this product
is not meant for that.
The purpose of our iStick
is different altogether.
Usually,
when you buy an iFhone...
...a man tells you...
...that Android is
better than your iFhone.
All you have to do
is, take this stick...
...and look at the
Android user and say...
Get lost you ****.
And it works magically.
Our new feature, **** unlock.
You need to take your phone...
...and place it near
your buttocks...
...and pass gas over it.

English: 
You wear the headphones...
...but everyone
listens to the song.
This is the speciality
of our new product.
Presenting to you,
our new product...
...IStick.
This product is for those
whose phone stops working.
Take out your phone...
...look at it and say...
...hey ***, start working!
Get working,
I have spent so much on you.
Come on ****.
Yet your phone won't work.
You need to get this iStick...
...and hit the
phone on its back.
Come on!
It won't work even a bit...
...because this product
is not meant for that.
The purpose of our iStick
is different altogether.
Usually,
when you buy an iFhone...
...a man tells you...
...that Android is
better than your iFhone.
All you have to do
is, take this stick...
...and look at the
Android user and say...
Get lost you ****.
And it works magically.
Our new feature, **** unlock.
You need to take your phone...
...and place it near
your buttocks...
...and pass gas over it.

Hindi: 
This year, Double Apple has come
up such a new technology...
...that when you pass
gas on your phone...
The phones sucks in the gas...
...and releases into
the Double Apple Cloud.
If your child passes
gas near your phone...
...your phone
would get unlocked.
Because the DNA of you and your
child's gas would be the same.
You may not recognize
the gas of your child...
...but Double Apple recognizes
the gas of your child.
This is what I call innovation.
**** you!
Double Apple wants to
gift you such a thing...
...that you will have a ****.
I mean, you will love it.
Presenting to you, our new...
...and one more
useless product...
...iGuard!
IGuard is your own...
...man for hire...
...who roams around with you...
...and protects your phone.
No matter where you
move our phone...
...iGuard will get there.
If you drop the phone,
iGuard will catch the phone.
If you wish,
iGuard would even catch your ****.
You don't need to
worry about it.

English: 
This year, Double Apple has come
up such a new technology...
...that when you pass
gas on your phone...
The phones sucks in the gas...
...and releases into
the Double Apple Cloud.
If your child passes
gas near your phone...
...your phone
would get unlocked.
Because the DNA of you and your
child's gas would be the same.
You may not recognize
the gas of your child...
...but Double Apple recognizes
the gas of your child.
This is what I call innovation.
**** you!
Double Apple wants to
gift you such a thing...
...that you will have a ****.
I mean, you will love it.
Presenting to you, our new...
...and one more
useless product...
...iGuard!
IGuard is your own...
...man for hire...
...who roams around with you...
...and protects your phone.
No matter where you
move our phone...
...iGuard will get there.
If you drop the phone,
iGuard will catch the phone.
If you wish,
iGuard would even catch your ****.
You don't need to
worry about it.

English: 
IGuard is there to
protect you and yours.
If by mistake that foolish
iGuard drops your phone...
...even then we would...
...like to launch a
new product to you.
IDoctor!
I know, you all are very excited
to know what an iDoctor is.
When your iGuard...
...drops your phone...
...you would be scared to death...
...because you dropped
a phone worth 400,000.
That's when the iDoctor would
arrive and save your life.
On a salary of...
...only 60,00,000
rupees per month.
It's nice, right? They will
take away everything from you.

Hindi: 
IGuard is there to
protect you and yours.
If by mistake that foolish
iGuard drops your phone...
...even then we would...
...like to launch a
new product to you.
IDoctor!
I know, you all are very excited
to know what an iDoctor is.
When your iGuard...
...drops your phone...
...you would be scared to death...
...because you dropped
a phone worth 400,000.
That's when the iDoctor would
arrive and save your life.
On a salary of...
...only 60,00,000
rupees per month.
It's nice, right? They will
take away everything from you.
