>> TELL US, HOW DO YOU KNOW MRS.
MARKLE, DUCHESS OF SUSSEX?
>> I'M MEGHAN'S THIRD COUSIN,
SHANTE THOMAS OF THE COMPTON
THOMASES.
NOW SHE ME WHERE THE BABY AT.
>> YES.
WELL, ABOUT THAT, YOU MUST
UNDERSTAND, WHEN ATTENDING ROYAL
FUNCTIONS, THERE'S A PROTOCOL
EVERYONE MUST FOLLOW.
>> AND YOU MUST BE READY.
THAT'S WHY WE'VE BROUGHT IN MISS
VIVIAN HARGRAVE.
SHE'S OUR ROYAL ETIQUETTE COACH,
AND SHE HAS NEVER FAILED.
MRS. HARGRAVE?
>> HOW MAY I BE OF SERVICE?
>> THIS IS MRS. SHANTE THOMAS.
SHE IS TO ATTEND THE ROYAL
CHRISTENING AND RECEPTION.
>> GOODNESS.
IS THAT SO?
WELL, YES.
THIS WILL BE AN EXPERIMENT,
WON'T IT?
>> EXPERIMENT?
>> LEAVE US, PLEASE.
>> AS YOU WISH.
>> NOW THEN, MISS THOMAS, HAVE
YOU EVER ATTENDED HIGH TEA?
>> NO.
BUT I'VE HAD TEA WHILE I'M HIGH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> INDEED.
DO TAKE A SEAT.
VERY WELL.
BACK STRAIGHT, PLEASE.
LEGS TOGETHER.
NAPKIN FOLDED IN HALF WITH THE
CREASE TOWARD YOU.
NOW, DO YOU KNOW THE PROPER WAY
TO STIR THE TEA?
>> YEAH.
YOU JUST, YOU KNOW, SWIRL IT
AROUND LIKE THIS.
>> YES.
WELL, THAT'S PERFECT IF YOU'RE
ENTERTAINING A BUNCH OF HOWLING
DOBERMANS.
BUT THAT'S NOT HOW IT'S DONE
HERE.
YOU SEE, ROUND AND ROUND IS
A DREADFUL SHOW.
BACK AND FORTH IS HOW WE GO.
FROM SIX TO TWELVE AND BACK
AGAIN, BACK AND FORTH, TO STAY
WITHIN.
REPEAT AFTER ME.
♪ BACK AND FORTH ♪
♪ BACK AND FORTH ♪
♪ SIX TO TWELVE ♪
♪ SIX TO TWELVE ♪
♪ NOW STIR ♪
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I SAID BACK AND FORTH.
UNDERSTOOD?
>> I KNOW YOU DIDN'T JUST SMACK
THAT OUT OF MY HAND.
>> I DID INDEED AND I'LL GLADLY
DO IT AGAIN IF YOU DON'T GET IT
RIGHT.
YOU DO WANT TO ATTEND THE
CHRISTENING, DON'T YOU?
>> YES, BUT --
>> WELL, VERY WELL.
LET'S TRY AGAIN.
>> OKAY.
♪ BACK AND FORTH ♪
♪ BACK AND FORTH ♪
>> VERY GOOD.
♪ SIX TO TWELVE ♪
♪ SIX TO TWELVE ♪
>> MAY I SEE THAT?
DON'T YOU PUT THAT SPOON IN YOUR
MOUTH.
DID YOUISH --
>> OW!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
>> I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, BUT THIS
IS A ROYAL EVENT.
WE SIMPLY MUST GET THIS RIGHT.
>> AM I BLEEDING?
LADY, IF YOU SMACK ME ONE MORE
TIME --
>> WHAT?
YOU'LL DO WHAT?
>> I AIN'T GOING TO DO NOTHING.
>> EXCELLENT.
NOW LET'S MOVE ON TO SCONES.
SCONES ARE AN AFTERNOON TEA
TRADITION GOING BACK
GENERATIONS.
NOW, THEN.
HERE WE ARE.
PLEASE SEPARATE YOUR SCONE INTO
TWO HALVES.
SEPARATE AFTER ME AND REPEAT.
♪ FROM ONE TO TWO ♪
>> I DON'T WANT TO SING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
♪ ONE TO TWO♪
♪ ONE TO TWO ♪
>> DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT USING
A KNIFE!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YOU CRAZY CRAZY!
I DON'T EVEN LIKE SCONES.
>> OH, I SEE.
>> WAIT A MINUTE.
>> YOU DON'T LIKE SCONES?
PERHAPS YOU PREFER TO SLEEP
THEN.
>> I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP.
I'LL DRINK THE TEA.
>> IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
>> WE HEARD NOISES.
>> YES.
>> EVERYTHING'S GOING
SWIMMINGLY.
ISN'T IT, MISS THOMAS?
>> OH, SHE'S SO GOOD.
SHE'S SO GOOD.
WE'RE COOL.
>> LOVELY.
>> VERY WELL.
LET'S MOVE ON TO THE CLOTTED
CREAM.
>> CLOTTED CREAM?
THIS LOOK REAL NASTY.
>> PERHAPS YOU SHOULD TRY IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THE HOUSE OF WINDSOR.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
>> IN THE END VIVIAN HARGRAVE
TRIUMPHED.
SHANTE THOMAS ATTENDED THE
CHRISTENING OF THE ROYAL BABY
AND SHE WAS A MODEL OF DECORUM.
♪♪♪
