♪♪
[soft music]
[scooping ice]
[sighs]
Another bleak
Saturday afternoon,
spent in the solitudes
of concessions.
My dad said that if I got a
date, he'd give me his car.
My dad said he'd
give me his respect.
And he and my mom cried.
It was awkward.
Come on, guys,
we can't give up hope.
[gasps]
[All] Oh!
Girl: I know it came out
forever ago,
but some of those characters
from Lord of the Rings
are so hot.
 They're so hot!
 Can you imagine if one of them
 just walked through the door
 right now?
 Matt: Please tell me we
still have those costumes
in the custodial closet.
[ice drops]
A true nerd is never more than
15 feet from cosplay.
[footsteps clattering]
That way.
I mean, seriously,
all a guy would have to do
is put on a blonde wig,
put on pointy ears,
I would be all over it!
[rap music]
 ♪ Coming through, 
 Struttin' on your lanes ♪
 ♪ I'm about to do my thing ♪
 ♪ Watch me, take a picture,
 flick-flicka! ♪
 ♪ Paparazi. ♪
 ♪ Watch me do my thing
 I'm-a do my thing ♪
 ♪ Watch me do my thing. ♪
 ♪ I'm about to do my thing. ♪
 ♪ I keep see moving
 and a-grooving ♪
 ♪ and I ain't gonna stop
 'til you ♪
 ♪ Watch me do my thing, ♪
 ♪ I'm about to do my thing,
 hey! ♪
Here, take it.
Take the ring.
I can't bear being
single any longer.
Um, I think our movie's
starting, so we're gonna--
YOU SHALL
NOT PASS!
What is wrong
with you?
I'm not trying
to hurt you.
I'm trying to
date you.
Girl: Oh.
 I guess that is
weirdly flattering.
Looks like meat's back
on the menu, boys!
Fly, you fools!
"Meat's back
on the menu"?
That's the only orc line
I could think of!
You could've said,
"Yeah, what about them?
They're fresh!"
Ah, never mind,
that's worse.
Girl: Call me old-school,
but I still have a huge crush
on those Hogwarts boys.
Oh!
We're about to be
J.K. Rowling in honeys!
No, guys!
I can't do this!
Relax, James!
Hogwarts boys!
Nobody can
misunderstand that.
[laughter]
Even Harry's
scar was hot.
But Ron Weasley,
though?
Uh!
Pour me a drink of
that ginger ale!
Yes, right?
Right!
 ♪ Watch me do my thing
 I'm a-do my thing, yeah. ♪
 ♪ Watch me do my thing,
 I'm about to do my thing. ♪
 ♪ I keep see moving
 and a-grooving ♪
 ♪ and I ain't gonna stop ♪
 ♪ 'til you spectators
 and haters join the show. ♪
 ♪ Yo, watch me! ♪
Hello,
ladies.
You two are the
most beautiful
filthy Mudbloods
I have ever seen.
Aren't you that awkward kid
from my social studies class?
Matt?
How dare you speak
the Dark Lord's name!
What do you
creeps want?
Go on a date
with us.
Or I will kill
your parents.
Girl: You guys are seriously
the weirdest people ever.
 [giggle]
You must not
tell lies!
Or I will make you inscribe
bloody messages on your hands
 for punishment!
Stop it!
[high-pitched laughter]
The Ministry shall
hear of this!
I don't remember having
an Umbridge costume.
[giggles]
That's it!
No more dressing up!
Girl: Seriously, I freaking
 love Batman.
No, Jason, you just
said no more!
And you mustn't tell lies,
Jason!
♪ Da-na-na-na na-na-na-na
na-na-na-na na-na-na-na ♪
♪ [all] Batman! ♪
Where are the employees?
[light switch flipped]
♪♪
Well, hello,
beautiful.
[whack]
Owwww, owww!
Oww, oww, owwww!
Holy loneliness, Batman!
They left already?
 What?
They left?
[scoffs]
Well, now I just
look ridiculous.
 ♪ I'm about to do
 my thing, hey! ♪
What's up, guys?
I'm here to tell you some things
you shouldn't do in life.
You should never
run with scissors.
You shouldn't pull the
mattress tag off.
You shouldn't throw ducks
at the elderly.
But there's something you
should do right now:
Follow your dreams.
You probably thought
I was going to say
like, comment,
and subscribe.
[chuckles]
Oh, actually,
you should do that too.
