This video was intended for humor purposes
only, no offense was intended.
I really don't need any more bullsh*t in the
comments (even though that's what they're
for).
Capitalism and governments differ wherever
you go, so I'll be explaining them by country
using Countryballs and cows, at least through
recent history.
[Intro]
Traditional capitalism: You have two cows,
you sell one and buy a bull, your herd multiplies,
and the economy grows, you sell them and retire
on the income.
Australian capitalism: You have two cows,
you sell one, and force the other to produce
the milk of four cows, being surprised when
it drops dead.
French capitalism: You have two cows, but
you go on strike because you wanted three.
Japanese capitalism: You have two cows that
you redesign so they're 1/10th the size and
produce 20 times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images
called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
(There's probably also some tentacle porn
in there, too)
German capitalism: You have two cows that
you reengineer so they live 100 years, milk
themselves and are powered by renewable energies.
You become the biggest and most prosperous
economy in Europe, but America still calls
you a Nazi.
British capitalism: You have two cows, both
are mad.
Italian capitalism: You have two cows, but
you have no idea where they are, so you break
for lunch.
Iraqi capitalism: You don't have any cows,
but no one believes you, so America invades
you.
You still don't have any cows, but at least
you're a democracy now.
Canadian capitalism: You have two cows, but
they look more like moose, probably because
they are.
However, one speaks English, the other speaks
French, the latter moose is trying to create
his own country because of this, while the
other one isn't letting him.
They're both good at ice hockey, though.
Russian capitalism: You have two cows.
You count them again and learn that you have
37, you count them again to find 89 cows,
and again to find you have 12.
You decide to stop counting and open another
bottle of vodka.
America still thinks you're communist, though.
Chinese capitalism: You have two cows, with
300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine
productivity, and you arrest and detain without
trial the journalist who reported the number
of cows.
Also those are actually cheap knockoff cows.
Swiss capitalism: You have 5,000 cows, none
of which belong to you, you are storing them
for other countries at an outrageous price,
probably because you already have enough cows
to build the Burj Cowlifa.
American capitalism: You have two cows, you
sell three of them to your publicly listed
company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute
a debt/equity swap with an associated general
offer so that you get all four cows back,
with a tax exemption for five.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred
via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company
secretly owned by the majority shareholder
who sells the rights to all 7 cows back to
your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight
cows, with an option on one more, You sell
one cow to buy a new president of the United
states, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public buys your bull.
Thank you for watching this video, once again,
I didn't mean any offense with this video,
I just simply wanted to be able to share the
"2 cows" jokes.
I really hope you enjoyed those little animations,
I had a lot of fun making them!
There are still plenty more jokes, but I really
didn't want to draw and animate that much.
Anyway, if you enjoyed this video, please
be sure to give it a like and subscribe for
more in the future, and I'll see you on Wednesday!
