This is not the Hollywood look.
This is not.
There's two looks for Black
women in Hollywood.
You either look like
Halle Berry...
Or Precious.
And there's no...
There's no sliding scale!
I used to get sent to the
most ridiculous auditions
when I was in Hollywood.
This was an actual audition
I got sent for.
I'm not even making this up.
This was the name
of the character.
Ghetto Hoochie Number Three.
I had one line. Do you
wanna hear the line?
"Nigga, it's not your baby!"
That was...
I said to my agent,
"I will not say that.
I refuse.
I will not say it.
I've got integrity, I'm a
Black woman. I will not do it."
And then I saw the money.
And I was like,
"Nigga, it's not your baby!"
Do you think I'll get promoted
to Ghetto Hoochie One?
What do you think?
Do you think?
So, it's good to be back.
So, I don't know if you... Some
of you look a bit confused.
Did you know there were Black
people in England?
Did you know?
We are everywhere.
You look confused, though, sir.
You look confused.
You're looking up at me, like,
"Is that Idris Elba?
What is happening?"
I know! From London, England!
Born and raised.
Obviously, Black people are
not indigenous to England.
My mum came from Nigeria.
West Africa.
No! Don't cheer that shit!
She went from Nigeria
to England.
What the fuck was
she thinking?
My mum had the
pick of the globe.
She could've gone
anywhere in the world.
I imagine my mum in Nigeria
with all her maps
spread out before her.
"Where shall I go?
Where shall I go?
You know what?
I am fed up with
the sunshine.
I want to go somewhere
with a lot of drizzle...
and subtle racism.
That's what I want, subtle."
Because I don't know if you
know this, Americans,
but the Brits are the best
at racism.
They're the best!
They're better than
you, Americans.
They're so good,
you don't even know you're
being discriminated against.
They are fucking ninja racist!
And that's why I prefer good,
old-fashioned, American racism.
Yeah, I said it, America.
I prefer it.
It's in your face.
You know where you stand
with American racism.
You guys have even made
movies to let me know
where I'm welcome
and where I'm not.
For instance, I know I'm never
going to fucking Mississippi.
I've seen the films!
Having said that, though...
my manager did recently put
some shows in my calendar...
for Birmingham, Alabama.
I know!
I saw that come up in
my calendar and I was like,
"Fuck, no!"
And then I saw the money.
And I said, "You know what?
We shouldn't be so
quick to judge.
We should give the
people a chance."
So, I went to Birmingham,
Alabama, people!
And it was all right,
I had a good time.
I experienced that
Southern hospitality,
the shows were great,
and they put me in a
very nice hotel.
Very nice. I was very surprised
by this. I'll tell you why.
I'm from England.
All I know about Alabama
is from your movies,
so I wasn't expecting
to be staying in no nice hotel.
I was expecting to be
staying in a shack,
on a swamp...
run by some guy
wearing overalls...
who referred to me as "boy"!
That's what I was expecting.
So I was very surprised
by the hotel.
I thought, "Oh, this is lovely!
This is very civilized.
This is wonderful."
I basically treated Alabama the
way white people treat Africa
the first time they go.
You know, I'm talking about
white people -
You turn up in Africa for
the first time; you're like,
"Wow!
They have cars and
shoes and shit."
That's how I was in Alabama.
I was like, "Wow! They have
electricity and teeth! This..."
Lot of Black people in Alabama.
That shocked me.
I was surprised by that.
I was like, "Wow!
Lot of Black people."
I got off the plane,
and I saw the Black people,
and I ran up to them,
I was like that.
"You know you can leave, right?
You don't even have to go
underground.
You could just drive!"
