Hey everyone. I'm the Unusual Suspect.
And today, let's talk about superhero movies
[Narration] Now there's been a recent trend
of making superhero flicks much more darker and realistic
then, say, they used to be in the twentieth century.
And it's getting to the point where almost all superhero  movies have taken this more serious tone.
So why is this?
If you ask me, it's probably due to how much the films have taken in at the box office
All you got to do is look at 'The Dark Knight', see how much money that grossed and you begin to see what all the fuss is about
[Bing Sound]
"[Spits] Are you crazy?"
[Narration} So directors are taking heed as audiences now apparently seem to crave for more serious takes on their favourite caped crusaders
One of the last truly goofy superhero movies I can think of was Sam Raimi's 2001 big-screen adaption of Spider-Man
[Awesome Danny Elfman score]
[Narration] While most definitely not the silliest of the trilogy
for unmentionable reasons
This is a movie that doesn't really take itself seriously
and it's a film that all the family can enjoy
That is, if it wasn't rated a 12!
Here in the UK, nobody under 12 at the time could see this.
Nobody under twelve could see a Spider-Man movie!
[Narration] Aren't you alienating you're main demographic there?
It's like giving a series based on children's books  twelve ratings!
[Sarcastically] That would just be stupid!
[Narration] Alright, so we've fixed it now so a twelve-rated movie can be watched by anyone under twelve
so long as they have an accompanying adult
Similar to the American's PG-13 rating
But this came out when I was eleven.
So I couldn't watch it until the VHS release
So was it worth the wait?
[Narration] Was Spider-Man able to quit his day job? Was he able to move on to greater things? Or did he succumb to...
...um, the harshness of reality?
Let's find out!
This is Spider-Man!
So after a laboriously long credits sequence
We start off with a narration
"[Narration] Who am I? You sure you wanna know?"
Uh... I'm not so sure. I am a little faint of heart
"[Narration] The story of my life is not for the faint of heart"
Oh, bye then!
"[Narration] But let me assure you"
"This, like any story worth telling, is all about a girl"
"Mary Jane Watson"
"The woman I've loved since before I even liked girls"
...What?
"[Narration] The woman I've loved since before I even liked girls"
Well, that's a paradox and a half
Nevermind
So, you'd take her, right?
"[Narration] Heck, I'd even take him"
...Ew
"[Narration] That's me"
[Narration] Ah yes, Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker
I have to say, I think Maguire is perfect for the role
After all, on top of Nick Cage expressing interest in the part (which would have been awesome for all the wrong reasons)
When James Cameron was supposed to direct this Charlie Sheen was wanting the role
Uh... winning?
[Narration] But back to the movie as the bus driver refuses to stop for Peter
It's only after a bit of coaxing from MJ he decides to let him on.
Still, what they should have done is stop the bus
wait till he gets a little closer, and then speed off again [chuckles]
"[brakes]"
"[Sounds of gasping and moaning]"
[Car speeding off]
[Brakes]
"[Exhausted pain]"
"[Car speeding off]"
[Narration] So, the class arrives at the lab as Peter's friend Harry (played by James Franco) attemps to hit on MJ
"Disgusting"
"Yeah, I hate these little things"
"I love 'em."
Uh... should we be concerned here?
"[Slowed down] I love 'em"
"Cool"
"Yeah"
"[Background]...to encode an entirely new genome"
"Combining the genetic information from all three spiders into these fifteen, genetically designed 'super spiders'"
And people wonder why we are in a recession
[Scare chord]
"Hey"
"Can I take your picture?"
"I need one with a student in it"
"Sure. Yeah."
"Great"
"Where do you want me?"
On top of me- Uh, under me-
Uh, across me- uh, over me!
[Incoherent stuttering]
"Over here?"
There's- There is just about fine, yeah.
"Perfect"
[Narration] Now take your top off
[Sigh of relief]
What?!
Nothing
So after the escaped spider bites Peter
We cut to Harry's father Norman (played by Willem Dafoe) about to show off his latest research
for human performance enhancers
You mean Viagra?
No, I do not mean Viagra
"Any side effects?"
"In one trial, yes-"
"He was an aberration.  All the tests since then have been successful"
"And in the trial that went wrong what happened?"
"What were the side effects?"
"Violence, Aggression,"
[Narration] Like in Big Brother
"And insanity"
Well, same thing.
"Good boy. God'll be thrilled. Just don't fall on your ass"
"I'm already on my ass, May"
"What else would you call it?"
"I am on my ass"
Look, all I have in my head right now is an image of Uncle Ben's arse!
Can we move on?
[Narration] So Peter arrives home from a night on the town but wakes up with improved eyesight and increased muscle mass
Yeah, 'cause spiders are known for their ripped torsos and six-packs
[Narration] Oh my god!
How have I not noticed this view my whole awkward adolescent life?
♪Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Stalking women because he can!♪
♪He will follow. He will flock. When your back is turned he'll stroke his-♪
"Silence!"
Ah, sorry
"I don't know if you realise this but we've, uh, we've been neighbours since I was six"
"and I was wondering if, maybe, we could get together sometime?"
"Maybe, do something fun?"
Have Spidey Sex?
Sounds kinky but it's not a good idea
"Oh god, I'm so sorry"
"That's never happened to me before. It's just, your so attractive and it's been a while."
"I'm gonna go"
"Hey, you have blue eyes. I didn't notice without your glasses"
"Did you just get contacts?"
[Awkward silence]
"Well, see ya"
"Leh-hoe... zeh-her"
[Web shooting]
[Food splotching]
[Narration] You know I don't get this school. For one, why does everyone look 25?
They look fricking older than I do and I'm too old for high school
And secondly, why does no one remember what Peter was doing this day?
Hey, remember that guy who had web coming from his wrist, did all those cool flips, and knocked that guy halfway across the hall like it was made of butter?
Maybe he's Spider-Man!
No
Okay
"Flash, it was just an accident"
"My fist breaking your teeth, that's the accident."
"Come on, Flash. Stop."
"I don't wanna fight you, Flash"
So, uh, why do they call you 'Flash'?
[Unzipping sound]
Ah.
[Punching sounds]
[Sounds of pain]
"Falcon... PUNCH"
[Food dropping]
[Film audio rewinding]
[Narration] Hello, camera man
[Record scratch]
Nice of you to drop by
"Jesus, Parker, you are a freak."
Yeah, only freaks try to beat people up! Unlike us, who just try to... beat you... up
"Those guys are jerks"
[Narration] So Peter runs off to try out his newly aquired powers
[Danny Elfman score]
WHOO!
[Narration] Ha ha ha
What a face!
[Excited idiot noises]
So Peter runs gayly across the rooftops and he starts to figure out how to shoot his web
"Go web!"
"Fly!"
"Up, up and away web!"
Now if you think the noises that are coming out of Peter's mouth now sound funny
You haven't watched the Punjabi version
Now I really wanna show this, and I mean no disrespect to anybody who does speak Punjabi
It's just so funny, so... here it is
[Funny Punjabi noises]
I am so sorry
[Web shooting]
[Bing sound]
"Tally ho"
[Narration] Goodbye, cruel world
[Screaming]
[Anvil sound]
[Funeral music]
Well, after Spider-Man takes pride in ripping off George of the Jungle
Peter arrives back home to talk with MJ
...at night
What the hell was he doing all this time?
Oh, um... yeah, that's probably about right
"So where are you going after you graduate?"
"Hopefully, uh, get a job as a photographer"
"What about you?"
"Try me"
"I wanna..."
[Narration] ...do porn
"...act"
"What do you see coming for you?"
[Funky James Brown music]
"I don't know"
[Bing sound]
[Web shooting]
"Something's bothering him"
"Maybe he's too embarrassed to tell me what it is"
"Maybe I'm too embarrassed to ask him"
[Narration] Maybe I just can't be arsed
"Going to the downtown library, see ya later"
"Wait Pete, I'll drive you there"
"No, I'll take the train"
"No no no, I need the exercise."
"Come on. Go go go go go"
[Narration] I'm gonna get exercise by driving
"You start fights at school"
"I didn't start that fight, I told you that"
"Yeah, well you sure as hell finished it"
Damn right he finished it! Why is every character in this movie such a douche? It was self defense!
"What was I supposed to do? Run away?"
"No, you're not supposed to run away"
So you're not supposed to run away, but you're also not supposed to fight back?
Uncle Ben's mentality on life, everyone
"Impressive"
[Narration] So Peter doesn't listen and opts to go to a wrestling match
If he can survive 3 minutes he can earn enough money to buy a car to impress MJ
"For three thousand dollars. Is there no one here man enough to stay in the ring for three minutes with this titan of testosteroooooooooone?"
"WHOOOOOOOOOOO?"
{Owl Hoots}
No Hedwig, it's just Bruce Campbell acting like a deranged barn owl"
[Rewinding sounds]
"WHOOOOOOOOOOO?"
{Owl Hoots}
[He laughs]
[Fight sounds]
"The sum of three thousand dollars will be paid to... the terrifying, the deadly, the Amazing Spider-Man!"
"My name's the Human Spider"
[Narration] Am I the only who finds it ironic that Peter knew that some spiders can change colour to blend into their enviroment
but when he designed the suit he uses colours which... well, kind of do the opposite?
"OH MY GOD"
"Oh my legs. Oh god I can't feel my legs"
Wait a minute. So pro-wrestling is real?!
[People chanting 'cage']
"CAGE!"
[He laughs] I don't know why but I just love that random 'cage' guy
"CAGE!"
CAGE!
[Narration] So Peter gets in the ring with the late great 'Macho Man'
"Hey! Unlock the thing."
"Take the chain off"
"Hey freak show, you're going no where!"
So, let me get this straight.
Macho Man
Tobey Maguire
Macho Man
Tobey Maguire
Spidey, this is gonna hurt
[Sounds of Spidey getting seriously buggered]
[One more for luck]
[Make it two]
[Narration] But Peter prevails and he managed to claim his prize
"100 bucks? The ad said 3000 thousand"
"Well check it again, web-head."
"I need dat money"
"I miss the part where that's my problem"
"Put the money in the bag"
"HEY! He stole the cash!"
"Stop that guy!"
"Stop him!"
"He's got my money!"
"Thanks"
"What the hell's the matter with you? You him let go!"
Yeah, how dare you not confront a man with a gun! That's very stupid of you
"You coulda taken that guy apart. Now he's gonna get away with my money"
"I miss the part were that's my problem"
"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
[Narration] But it turns out that the man Peter let go killed Uncle Ben
No, not that Uncle Ben
There we go
So Peter gives chase
[Shots being fired]
[Narration] Carlsberg
Probably the most shameless product placement in the world
[Bing sound]
[Tobey Maguire sounding constipated]
[Heavy breathing]
"Don't hurt me"
"Just give me a chance"
"Just gimme a chance!"
No, no, please don't hurt me
Please don't hurt me. I'm defenseless. I, I, I-
Wait a minute. This thing shoots metal things that kill people.
[Pirates of the Caribbean music]
"This is the day that you'll always remember as the day-"
[Glass smashing]
[Screams of terror]
[Narration] Well, after we find out he's the most accident prone villain ever
Peter graduates from school as Norman Osborn cannot decide where to put his hand
Okay, got his hand on his right shoulder
And now it's suddenly on his left
Oop, now it's off comepletely
Ooh, now it's on again
And now it's off again
I mean, will you just decide a place to put your hand on this boy's body- okay that didn't sound right
[Narration] Well from what I'm assuming was one hell of a textile course Peter studied, he refashions his Spidey suit to go out and fight crime.
"This is not a man. My brother say him building a nest in the Lincoln Center fountain"
"I think he's human. I think he's a man. Could be a woman"
[Narration] But enough about me.
"Guy with 8 hands? Sounds hot"
Sounds disturbing, actually, but quiet everyone. This is my favourite part of the movie
"♪Dresses like a spider, he looks like a bug. We should all just give him one big hug♪"
"♪Look out, ooh! Here come's a Spider-Man!♪"
Screw Nickleback's 'Hero', I wanna see Jez Bartock's rendition of 'Give Spider-Man a Hug!!!' to reach no. 1 on the billboard chart
"He is extremely cool"
[Narration] Ah, don't forget about the obligatory McDonald's tie-in!
You know, to further cement this film's idiotic 12 rating, McDonald's actually had a happy meal tie-in back when this movie was still out in cinemas
I mean, why is it a 12? Is it because of the whole spider bite thing?
Daddy, a spider just bit me!
Does that mean I'm gonna be Spider-Man?
No, it means you're gonna die
"Oh, that sucks"
[Narration] So Peter gets fired from a job we, um, never knew about
So he decides to become a photographer
and he gets himself a nice gig going
He gets paid money for taking pictures of himself in tight spandex
So he's a freelance pornstar?
No, he is not a freelance pornstar
"They're crap"
"Crap"
"Crap"
"Mega crap"
Ultra crap
Big crap
Smelly crap
Arse crap
Oh...kay, that's just disturbing
Heh heh. Uh, that- that's private
"Jameson told me to give that to you"
"Ah, welcome to the Daily Bugle"
"Thank you"
"I'm Peter Parker"
"I'm a photographer"
[Narration] Uh...
Was this shot meant to look like what I think it looks like?
Come on, Peter, now's your chance to hit on this girl. I mean there's so many possibilities.
You could say:
[In what I think is an American accent] Hey baby, how'd you like to play with my wide angle lens?
Or:
Would you care to check if my flash is on?
Or: shake it... shake it... "♪shake it like a Polaroid pic-CHAH!♪"
The possibilities are endless!
"I can see that"
[Narration] So we cut to Norman in a board meeting and it's looking as though he's having to resign from his company
"You can't do this to me"
"I started this company"
So, what's he gonna do? Is he gonna get all emotional and stuff? [Mock sadness] 'You know how much I've sacrificed?'-
"YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I'VE SACRIFICED?!"
[Slowed down] YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I'VE SACRIFICED?!
God bless you, Willem Dafoe!
[Bing sound goes haywire]
Holy shit it's gonna blow!
[Explosion]
"MJ, why didn't you wear the black dress?"
"I just-"
Look, you're getting fat, okay. Black is slimming
"I just, I wanted to impress my father and he loves black."
[Narration] Yeah, he wants a threesome
[Spider sense]
"What the hell was that?"
[Narration] The Green Goblin, brought to you by samsung
"Ha ha ha"
[Explosion]
[Screaming]
"Oh my god, HARRY!"
[Resumes screaming]
[Screaming continues in background]
[Suspect groans]
[Continues screaming]
"Could someone please shut her up!"
"Hello, my dear"
[More screaming]
"[Slowed down] Hello, my dear"
[Slowed down screaming]
"It's Spider-Man"
[Sarcastically] And I'm so acting right now
"Ahhhhhhhhh"
[Sparks]
"We'll meet again, Spider-Man!"
"Wait, who are you?"
"You know who I am"
"I do?"
"Your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man!"
"YOOOOOOOOO-"
[Crashing sounds]
"Somebody there?"
"Somebody..."
"Where are you?"
"Follow the cold shiver running down your spine"
[Narration] So you're my arse?
"Power beyond your wildest dreams and it's only the beginning"
"There's only one who can stop us"
The only other two-in-one character we can think of!"
"ME!!!"
"Us"
"Yes, we meant for us"
"Spider-Man."
"and the Green Goblin"
"The Green Goblin, you like that?"
"Mr Jameson-"
"Made it up myself"
Well, I got help with the goblin part, but I figured out he was green!"
"These weirdos all gotta have a name now"
Oh, I get it.
The Green Goblin isn't called the Green Goblin because he's green!
It's because he's an environmentally friendly super villain!
[Narration] Dafoe, I want that hang glider powered by hydrogen fuel
And we ain't using  it for journeys that are ten miles or less
From now on, we walk to Chuck E Cheese
Oh, but I get tired
We walk to Chuck E Cheese!
[Glass breaking]
"Who's the photographer who takes the pictures of Spider-Man?"
"I don't know who he is. His stuff comes in the mail."
"You're lying"
[Narration] Wow, this movie portrays Jameson as a douche but he's actually risking his life by not telling Goblin who Peter is.
And he never gets a thank you
All he gets is a mouthful of web!
Screw you, Parker. Jameson should be Spider-Man!
"And I'll make him infamous"
"Hey kiddo, let Mum and Dad talk for a minute, will ya?"
"Sleeeeeeeeeeeeep"
[Suspect laughs]
I just love the way he says that!
""Sleeeeeeeeeeeeep"
Sleeeeeep
[Sniffs] Mhmm. Lavender.
WHAT?!
Oh, wrong pouch. Give me a second here.
[Unloading sound]
Let's see what we got here...
Lavender
B.O.
Methane
Cheese and onion
Aha! Sleeping gas!
[Loading sound]
"Sleeeeeeeeeeeeep"
[Sarcastically] Yeah, that doesn't look romantic at all!
"♪And IIIIIIIIIIIII will always love yooooooou♪"
[Narration] So we cut to MJ as she does what any smart girl would do in New York City
And walks down an abandoned, dark alleyway
ALONE
But thanks to Peter's unhealthy obsessional stalking, he's there to save her.
"Do I get to say thank you this time?"
"Wait"
[Narration] Ah yes, the infamous upside down kiss
Now, if you don't know
Hazard a guess as to where that scene got inspiration from
An old painting?
A classic fairy tale?
A tale of two lovers who were never meant to be?
Or a Popeye cartoon?! Surely you can't be serious!
"I am serious, and don't call me Shirley"
[Narration] Well the next day Spidey goes to save a woman's baby
Which begs the question, what on Earth was she doing leaving a baby in a burning building?
Must... have... mushrooms
But after Spidey rescues the child Goblin shows up
[Mortal Kombat sound effects]
[Narration] So Peter flees... for some reason
As we cut to thanksgiving dinner
"Now, where is Peter?"
"He better have remembered that cranberry sauce"
[Narration] Aw fuck, I forgot the cranberry sauce
"Oh, that's weird. I didn't know he was here"
Remember when I said Norman Osborn wanted a threesome?
I wasn't joking
"How strange"
"There's nobody here"
"Bit of a slob, isn't he?"
"All brilliant men are"
Aw, thank fuck for that!
[Glugging sounds]
[Long burp]
Hey, according to Aunt May, I am brilliant
"Hey everyone"
[Everyone greets him]
"Sorry I'm late. It's a jungle out there. I had to beat an old lady with a stick to get these cranberries
[He laughs] Yeah, I jammed the old bag in the left rib. She came through
"Norman..."
"Will you do the honours?"
[Suspect laughs]
And the award for the most threatening... fingerlick goes to Norman Osborn
I mean, that should part of the end of every KFC advert
[KFC advert music]
[Scare chord]
"I gotta go"
"Dad, this girl is important to me"
"Harry, please. Look at her"
"[In background] You think think a woman like that's sniffing around because she likes your personality?"
[Narration] You know something? This movie is portraying Norman as the bad guy here
but he's absolutely right
Why is MJ still going out with Harry?
Is it because MJ is impressed with him?
"You know, spiders can change their colour to blend into their environment"
"[Disinterested] Really?"
[Narration] No
Is it because he's a good kisser?
No.
Is it because they have quirky little conversations over the phone?
"Alright, I'm sorry. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs-"
[Dial tone]
[Narration] No
The only redeemable factor about Harry is that he's the son of a successful business tycoon
In other words, he's loaded.
MJ is a money-grubbing whore!
"That's nothing to be embarrassed about"
"A word to the not-so-wise about your little girlfriend"
"Do what you need to with her then broom her fast"
[Narration] That sounds painful... but strangely erotic
So Norman leaves as he attacks Aunt May later that night as the Green Goblin
And by 'attack' I mean 'scare the living shit out of her and then just fuck off'
"He knows who I am"
[Narration] Maybe I should warn my friends
I'll look for them
Are they to my left?
No.
Are they to my right?
No.
Well, okay, I give up. MJ can surely protect herself
"But, do you think it's true, all the terrible things they say about him?"
"No, no, not Spider-Man. Not a chance in the world"
"I know him a little bit"
"Has he mentioned me?"
"Yeah"
"What'd he say?"
"Uh... I said... when you look in her eyes... and she's looking back in yours..."
"Everything... feels..."
[Narration] Dark and cold
"Because you feel..."
[Narration] Isolated and uncomfortable
"And at the same time"
[Narration] Nauseous
"The truth is you... you don't know what you feel"
[Narration] I've never experienced it before, MJ, but I hear they call it 'a boner'
"It's as if you've reached...."
[Narration] Down your pants
"And you weren't ready for it"
"You said that?"
Nah, I said you're a whore!
[Narration] Hold on.
[Record scratch]
[Narration] What in the name of spider testicles is that?
A decapitated swollen fish head with two LEDs in its head?
Call that decapitated rastafarian air freshener from Prisoner of Azkaban, I think I've found his long lost brother
"RARGH"
"Wake up, little Spider"
What the hell was that?
"RARGH"
RARR ARGH ARGH- oh wait, got an itch
RARGH
"Wake up, little spider"
"Wake up"
"Go home, dear"
"You look awful"
Gee, thanks
"Can I do anything for you?"
"You do too much. College, a job, all this time with me. You're not Superman, you know"
Oh god, last time a superhero movie made a Superman reference was-
"This is why Superman works alone"
Yeah, don't remind us of that abomination
"A smile, finally. Haven't seen one of those on your face since Mary Jane was here"
Yeah, I haven't seen smile from you ever since I last saw you.
"Hey, you were supposed to be asleep"
Yeah Aunt May, Peter could have been saying ANYTHING to MJ!
[Narration] Hey MJ, when I get you home I wanna *CENSORED* your *CENSORED* so hard
Till your *CENSORED* drops against my *CENSORED*
And then I'll *CENSORED* your *CENSORED* maw
And once you *CENSORED* my *CENSORED* until we *CENSORED* a bandwidth of whipped cream.
So after a brief chat about MJ Peter finally comes to his senses and suspects that MJ might be in danger
And waddya know? She is!
For the third time in one movie
So Peter sets off to rescue her
...Again
What is this? Angry spiders?
[Angry Birds sound effects]
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH"
[Splashing water]
...Shit
"Let die the woman you love, or suffer the little children"
Oh my god, he's gonna drop them in the water!
Wait
Isn't that that thing you float on?- nevermind
"Make your choice, Spider-Man"
"And see how a hero is rewarded"
"Don't do it, Goblin."
"Don't do it? You think after all this planning, all this work, you can get me to stop just by saying don't do it?"
"What if we add please?"
"Sigh"
[Punching sounds]
[More punching sounds]
[Tobey Maguire whimpering like a dog]
[He laughs] What the hell was that noise?
[Maguire's whimper]
He sounds like Jar Jar Binks if he got his nuts caught in a thresher
[The whimper again]
[Slow mo Tobey]
[He laughs] I just love that slow mo
[Imitates the sound] Punch that
Someone should remix that!
[Spidey getting the piss beaten out of him, set to music]
"Had you not been so selfish your little girlfriend's death would have been quick and painless"
"But now that you've really pissed me off"
Jeez, watch the potty mouth
I know this is a 12 movie but it's Spider-Man!
You might as well go all the way!
"I'm gonna *CENSORED* her. Nice and slow..."
[Narration] That's my job you green radioactive fuck-head!
Uh, why not take off his helmet?
I'm gonna kill you, Gobli- [Anvil sound]
[Anvil sound]
[Anvil sounds]
Oh god, I think I've just broke it.
[Anvil sound]
Ah god, I think I've broke this one too
"Mr Osborn"
"Thank god for you"
"Give me your hand"
"I've been like a father to you"
A father who kicks the shit out of you
"God speed, Spider-Man"
[Spider sense]
"Oh"
[Narration] Oh jesus, right in the Goblin sack!
Ooh, although I think I can finish off the Green Goblin's verse now
"The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout"
"Down came the Goblin and took the spider out"
[Narration] Out of the closet the Green Goblin came out
His balls got impaled, he'll have to do without
I also like how he just goes 'oh'
so casually before he gets struck
I mean, he knew he was screwed!
You could add that 'oh' to any famous death scene
"Fly, you fools"
"Oh"
[Screaming]
"Hey"
"I'm so sorry, Harry"
[Narration] Sorry my phone rang and my sympathy for the devil ringtone sounded on during the funeral procession
It was pretty funny though, right?
"[Monologue] No matter what I do. No matter how hard I try"
[Narration] I will monologue about everything!
"There's something I've been wanting to tell you"
"When I was up there and I thought I was gonna die"
"There was only one person who I was thinking of"
[Narration] Jareth Leto. I really have a thing for emo guys, Peter.
"That I'm just... me"
"And that's okay"
"The truth is..."
[Narration] I'm a man
"[Monologue] Who am I?"
"I'm Spider-Man"
[Narration] So there we have Spider-Man
and it just has so much going for it
Admittedly, the CGI is a bit dated and the dialogue can be insanely stupid
But the world of Spider-Man is so brilliantly brought to life
I mean yeah, fans may argue that Spidey should have artificial web shooters
And that Tobey Maguire wasn't the right casting for the wise-cracking superhero they remember
But it's easy to forgive this.
The film's goofy feel fits perfectly in this over the top comic book setting
And Willem Dafoe as the Green Goblin is just perfect casting
He's so delightfully over the top it's difficult not to like him
And with the reboot of the series coming soon it will be interesting to see a more different take
We've got the goofy over the top rendition
Now we could be getting a more serious adaptation.
But for the time being, we have Spidey 1, 2 & 3, and they've stamped their mark on time as some of the greatest super hero movies ever made
Play me out, Chad
[Shitty music plays]
You know what?
[Gunshot]
[Screaming]
Jez?
"♪Dresses like a Spider, he looks like a bug♪"
I'm the Unusual Suspect. See ya next time!
"♪ Look out,  ooh! Here comes a Spider-Man!♪"
['60s Spider-Man theme plays]
"[Slowed down] You know how much I've sacrificed?"
