"Aborted girlfriend". No, no, wait, let me read that again.
"Aborted (pause) girlfriend."
 
Could've been your girlfriend... but she was aborted. (music starting in background)
 
Yeah, it's time for a fuckin' refill.
(music)
(music goes soft, fading out) Ey, yo, what the fuck is up you buttercup, I hope you're having a fan-tastic day.
Welcome the fuck back to another Reddit video.
This video, we're gonna be going through a subreddit that we're already pretty well-acquainted with.
It's r/insanepeoplefacebook
You already know what the fuck is going on, so I'm not gonna waste any time on introductions-
- but I do wanna mention one thing. After the last video, where I put the fork on my head and I said,-
- "Send me pictures with cutlery on your head," yeah, someone sent me a picture with-
- a fucking katana on their head, so you know. You're a fucking legend.
I just wanted to throw that out there 'cuz I think it's fuckin' amazing.
But enough about me blabberin' on about people with katanas on their heads.
It's time to make a Reddit video so let's just jump right into it.
(music)
Aw, what a cute little video about a baby and a puppy. Oh, that's adorable...
 
"The baby looks like he's got an abusive personality; I don't like the way he's just squeezing the puppy's paw."
(keeps reading)
Little tiny baby, straight outta the fuckin' womb, has done absolutely nothing;
 
Looks like he's got an abusive personality.
Looks like this tiny child who hasn't figured out how to grab stuff with his hands yet-
- is gonna be a violent person.
(reading)
Y- you're sure about that? You're sure that that's the analogy you wanna go with?
 
I-is that your final answer? Do you wanna log that in? All or nothing, that's your final answer?
(dramatic music) Well, congratulations! You lose.
(reading)
Yes. I know I'm destroying my daughter's health before she's even born-
- but at least I'm not, like, doing drugs or like, stabbing through my stomach or something like that.
I mean, come on! Stage 2 leukemia isn't that bad.
(reading)
And, now, I don't even know what a C-section is but I'm pretty sure;
If you've carried a child in your womb for nine months-
- it's kinda your own business how the fuck it comes out.
(reading)
Now, I know how easy it is to fake these, so I'm really hoping that that's not real.
But judging by what I know about Donald J. Trump's intellect thus far, I wouldn't be surprised.
(reading)
Alright, it looks like Pinni wants to leave the room right now, so... (to Pinni) Say goodbye.
 
Aw. What a good-mannered kitty.
(reading)
Hm, yes, interesting argument, but maybe it's because it fuckin' isn't, though.
Also, it's about this time that I start noticing that most of these are: religious people, or anti-vaxxers, or both.
And I'm starting to draw a bit of a- a bit of a, bit of a connection.
(reading)
Hm, yes, glitter for girls... and guns for boys!
Yes, of course! Everybody knows there are only 2 genders: guns, and glitter.
(reading)
What, a 2-year-old kid? Doesn't understand jack-fuckin'-shit about anything?
Makes one small mistake?
 
Beat that shit.
Just fuckin' beat your kids, man. (gets distorted) Just fuckin' sucker-punch them right in the jaw, dude.
 
I can't see fuckin' anything outta these.
(reading)
Yeah, the Japanese? Satan. Satan, the Devil himself.
(reading)
Sounds like this Jesus guy is pretty irresponsible.
(reading, getting more echoey/layered and distorted)
Y'know, sometimes I look in the mirror and I see what I've put on my face...
And I'm just wondering about... who the fuck is the man that I've become?
Who, who the fuck is this?
(reading) (text tone)
(reading)
I- I think you might have the wrong post. Just, just saying, I think you might have the wrong post.
(reading)
Hm. So if you can't find any peer-reviewed, [non-] pro-vaccine-rhetoric sources for your project...
What might this tell you about the reliability of vaccines?
 
(very warped) Well obviously, it's a government conspiracy!
(reading)
Oh, Peggy! What the hell are you doing, naming your Wifi something like "Banana"?
A Wifi connection is serious business! You can't be just naming it something silly like "Banana".
You should name it something like "BackdoorAnalSlutsIV"!
Yeah, so long story short, I ain't (reading)
Yeah, see, I'm thinking of possible explanations as to why all these people are so stupid...
And I think it's 'cuz I died, and I've gone to Purgatory. I think that might be it.
(reading, getting more echoey/layered and distorted)
Maybe I'm not in Purgatory, actually. Maybe I've just been sent straight to Hell.
(reading)
Hi, it's me, your friendly neighbourhood woke SJW. I'm here to tell you that even though you've had a shit life-
- even though you've worked your ass off for this, even though you've done more than anybody else-
- would do to get into this position, I'm here to tell you that: It's not because of any of that.
It's just 'cuz you're white. Have a nice day!
(reading)
(says something in Finnish)
(reading)
I don't know, but maybe the fact that it's actually false might have something to do with it?
(reading)
"Heeliey"? Like the fuckin' shoes with the wheels in them?!
Hey everyone! How you doing, my name is Heeliey, nice to meet'cha!
 
Fuckin' white people names.
Either way, that's all the time that we have for today. Hopefully you have enjoyed, if you have that is fantastic-
- and if you haven't, I guess you can all just fuck off. And I will see you all of you in the next video. Bye!
(music)
(music fades out)
