[Video Game Music]
[Techno Noise (Dashing)]
Quit monkeying around, you damn dirty apes!
'Cause this sh*t is bananas!
B-A-N-A-N-A
[Game Theory Theme Tone]
-A S
Hello, internet! Welcome to Game Theory!
The show where nothing's made up, and the points do matter!
That's right! The points actually matter!
Unlike everything Drew Carey does in improv comedy.
*booing*
Oh come on, you know it's true.
Cue the clip.
You
are
my
soul
mate
baby!
*laughing*
Lace
up
my
shoe
And take me on a-
I'm sorry, what are we doing?
*hysterical laughter*
So, Donkey Kong Country.
Amazing platformer, terrific franchise, flag-burning anti-American propaganda!
*record scratch*
Wo-ah, step off there, Holmes!
It's just a game about monkeys and bananas.
Or is it?
DKC is anti-USA.
And that S-U-C-K-S!
H-E-R-E'-S W-H-Y!
Loyal theorists will recall from the Adventure Island episode that America doesn't always get along well with its island neighbors.
In that episode we looked at the Philippine-American War,
where the U.S. stepped in to save the Filipinos from their Spanish rulers,
only to then take control themselves.
Hey, we're here to save you!
Psych!
But that wasn't the only island on America's hit list.
Around that same time, starting in 1898,
America also set its sights on the Caribbean and Central America,
systematically occupying Cuba, Puerto Rico, Nicaragua, Haiti, Honduras, Mexico, and the Dominican Republic.
The reason for these conflicts: bananas.
No joke!
This period came to be known as the Banana Wars,
as America fought to wrap its greedy little fingers around these fruity phalli.
The United Fruit Company, or as you would know them, Chiquita,
was an American company seeking to dominate the banana market in the Caribbean,
by controlling the distribution of Bananaland.
As a result, United Fruit seized control of these island nations,
despite being a U.S. company
becoming the equivalent of corporate dictators by usurping local governments.
Like Hitler, but with a fun tropical theme!
They were so powerful that when their investments were threatened in these foreign nations,
they were able to convince the U.S. military to intervene.
Which brings us back to Donkey Kong Country.
I'm sure most of you are familiar with this guy: King K. Rool.
The ultimate villain in the D.K. universe,
and angry alligator bent on stealing all the Kongs' bananas.
But have you ever stopped to wonder why he wants those bananas?
I mean, the game never really explains it.
It's not like a carnivorous alligator eats bananas after all.
And in D.K. Jungle Climber, he openly admits to hating them.
So could it be that he wants these for financial gain?
Gregg Mayles, one of the designers for DKC,
has gone on record saying that K. Rool may steal the bananas because he wants Donkey Kong to starve to death
allowing K. Rool to occupy his treehouse.
Now, as we all know, Americans have a flair for occupying things,
and we did just finish talking about how U.S. soldiers were occupying all these island nations during the Banana wars,
but that's a bit of a stretch,
so let's look at K. Rool himself.
The guy dresses like a king,
but the final level takes place on a pirate ship,
the two things just don't match up,
until you consider this.
This is a political cartoon of the man most associated with America's early imperialism
and the start of the Banana Wars: President Theodore Roosevelt.
Nice cape, right?
So, then why is he on a pirate ship, you ask?
United Fruit Company was also known for their armed fleet,
surplus boats that they got from the U.S. Navy after the Spanish-American War.
So a king on a pirate ship might not be so bizarre after all.
In addition to owning the Bananaland,
United Fruit also controlled international railways running through Central America.
At one point, it discouraged the government of Guatemala from building highways
simply because it would threaten their monopoly over transportation.
That's a low blow!
What's worse, though, is that when it left an area,
the company was known to destroy its rail system.
Think back to Donkey Kong Country.
What were the most memorable levels in the game?
The ones with the broken down mine tracks.
Okay, that's a lot of assumptions to make.
Convincing you that a game about gorillas and alligators fighting over bananas
is an allegory for American imperialism
is going to take a whole lot more than phallic fruit wars,
a president in a cape, a pirate ship and some broken mine cart tracks.
But this is Game Theory,
where we cover every angle possible.
Thus, I present to you, Krusha the Kremling,
one of King K. Rool's chief underlings.
In a game where clothing is limited to the occasional double windsor tie,
don't you find it odd that this guy is sporting an army-issue camouflage unitard?
Clearly this points to the Kremlings being symbolic of some sort of organized militia.
*Heavenly Choir*
Comment Section: But, Matpat...
I hear your eager fingers clicking away in the comments.
Comment Section: Camo uniforms aren't just for the U.S. Army.
True, my loyal, smart and incredibly hot theorists. So true.
Which is why you should meet my other friend: Klomp.
Hercules, Hercules!
A rotund little reptile sporting an ammo belt and a helmet.
More specifically, though, a U.S. issue ammo belt
and an M2 infantry helmet featuring markings clearly referencing
the U.S.'s symbol for an NCO, or non-commissioned officer.
Coincidence? I think not!
But that's not all, my analytical apes.
Consider World 5.
Kremcock.
*BEEP BEEP*
Kremcock.
*BEEP BEEP*
Kremcock In-
*BEEP BEEP*
Kremcock? Ooh hooh boy, bananas on the brain.
Freudian slip.
Kremkroc Industries Incorporated
*Victorious Trumpets*
It's an oddly themed anomaly in a game that's nature-centric throughout.
You have Kongo Jungle, Monkey Mines, Vine Valley,
Gorilla Glacier, Chimp Caverns, and then Kremcock In-
*BEEP BEEP*
Kremcroc Industries Incorporated.
*Victorious Trumpets*
Curious, no, that the only world that makes explicit reference to the reptile invaders
is the same one that's associated with industrialization?
Not only that, the game goes out of its way to portray this company in a negative light.
The overworld map depicts a building spewing chemicals into the air.
One of the stages is named Polluted Pond, for crying out loud!
The company is cleary a destructive force
ruining the beauty of Kong Island.
And I'm sure I don't need to spell out for you
that industrialization is pretty much always symbolic of the good ol' U.S. of A.
But more importantly, look at what Kremkroc
*Victorious Trumpets*
is harvesting.
Oil.
How do I know?
As soon as you enter the world, your first stage is Oil Drum Alley.
Both factory levels are loaded with burning oil drums.
Even the final boss is a giant oil canister.
Wait, sorry, let me rephrase that.
The final boss is a oversized industrial storage basin
literally sent to crush the natural inhabitants of the island.
Subtle much?
But going beyond the "America is evil, industry ruins everything!" aspects of this,
a quirky little spinoff of the Banana Wars involved the U.S. invading Mexico to protect their oil interests.
What started off as a cute little sitcomy misunderstanding between cultures
escalated into a six month occupation by the U.S. in the Mexican city of Veracruz.
So let's re-cap.
We have a war over bananas,
led by an imperialistic president,
featuring an industrialized enemy,
with an armed fleet that owns and destroys rail lines.
who uses a well-equipped army,
to secure fruit and oil
for the good of Kremland.
*American National Anthem playing*
But hey, it's just a theory...
A Game Theory!
Go slap someone in the face with a banana
I guarantee they'll laugh!
*Banana Phone Playing*
