
English: 
REEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
CHECK OUT NEW MERCH!
UglyChristmasSweater.com/pewdiepie
And you as well, can look this great!
YEAAAAAH!!!
Order now before Christmas, and it will arrive in time for Christmas!
Who said I don't have the hottest merch in the game?
Who dare question my merch game?
UglyChristmasSweater.com/pewdiepie
Now, we have a bit of a problem. We can no longer make fun of India
*laughs*
T-Series is open but, you know, "IndianPeopleFacebook" is how this whole thing started.
The whole "Bobs and vagene."
But who am I possibly gonna make fun of now, for being bad at internet?
For being bad at writing post on Facebook? That's right, old people.
I don't know how this has
never been flagged to me before,
but old people Facebook it's a goddamn gold mine.
*laughs*
I'm sorry India, but uh, old people take the prize.

Indonesian: 
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Cek merchandise baru!
Nanti lo bakal keren kayak gini.
YEEEEEEEEEY!!!
Pesan sekarang sebelum Natal,
nanti sampai waktu Natal!
Siapa bilang gue ga punya merchandise
mantap jiwa di game?
Siapa yang ga yakin
sama merchandise game gue?
Nah, ini kita ada masalah sedikit.
Kita ga bisa becandain India lagi *pffftt*
T-Series sudah terbuka. Tapi..
Lo tau, kan? Semua dimulai dari
*MasyarakatFacebookIndia*
Soal "Bobs & vagene"
(tete* & meme*)
Terus gue mau ngetawain siapa,
kalo bukan yang aneh-aneh di internet?
Kalo bukan posting cacat di Facebook?
Benar!
Orang tua.
Gue ga tau kenapa ini gue ga
sadar soal ini sebelumnya.
tapi orang tua di FB tuh
tambang emas banget!
Maaf ya, India.
Tapi, orang tua tuh emang kayak kado.

Indonesian: 
Kita punya posting emas di FB, kayak :
"Hatiku sedih syekali karena.."
(wkwkwk)
Asli, gue ga bisa baca ini.
"..karena Shane,
anakku yang umur 49 thn, pagi ini meninggal"
KOK ELO~
Liat kan? Udah lama gue ga buka FB.
Ga tau deh ini gambar apaan.
Mungkin ini template biar postingan kita jadi lebih menarik, lo bisa pilih gambar
Lah kok dia pilih gambar orang ketawa sampe nangis?
Makasi, Mark Zuckerberg. (cicak)
Keren banget nih
Ini bener-bener bikin gue sedih.
(anjir~)
"Gue orang jadul, gue ga pake HP,
gue ga ada ID. Gue gae"
Anjir keren banget ini profile picture nya!
Kayak..
Kayak : "Eh gue ga botak, lho.
Liat deh, ada rambutnya, kan?
TUH!!!
Gue suka yang ini nih.
"Ini foto passport neneknya temen gue
10 tahun yang lalu.."
"..tapi karena ga tau, dia salah masuk ruang foto
dan jadinya kayak gini"
Imoetz~

English: 
We have such golden posts on
Facebook as,
"It's with great sadness in my heart that--"
*laughs*
--I can't even read this!
"--that my 49 year old son, Shane, died this morning."
*laughing*
WHY WOULD YOU--
See, I haven't used Facebook in so long, I don't know what these are.
I guess it's like a template to make a text post more
interesting, you can pick a background
and for some reason, they pick the
crying/laughing emoji background.
Thank you, Mark Zuckerberg. Very cool. 👍
That just made me genuinely sad.
*laughing*
"I am Old School ,,I do not use a cell phone, I do not have caller ID. I am gay."
What a fantastic profile picture!
I can-- it's like no I'm not bald! Look, there's hair up there! LOOK!!
Oh I love this one. I love this one.
"My friends grandma went to get passport photos about 10 years ago--"
"--but didn't quite understand the photo booth and ended up with this gem..."
*laughing*

Indonesian: 
Gue bisa bayangin, dia lagi duduk,
siap-siap foto buat passport..
..eh pas di-print kayak gini.
Nek, nenek masih bisa pake foto itu
buat passport kok, saya yakin.
"Justin, tolong add saya, terima kasih.
Saya tidak peduli kalau kamu maho."
Hayo lho Justin, lo ngapain tuh?
Add nenek lo di FB!
Untung gue udah ga main FB lagi.
Ini contoh sempurna yang Mark Zuckerberg maksud soal menghubungkan masyarakat.
Ada orang nge-post, "Ibuku meninggal semalam. Semoga tenang di sana, ibuku sayang."
"Tanda dan Gejala Sindrom Iritasi Dubur"
Lo tau kan,..
..kalo lo nge-post link di FB, terus lo apus..
..posting nya masih utuh
sama gambar link nya.
Mungkin dia copy artikel ini
terus paste.
Ya ampun, tapi gue suka banget
postingan ini
komennya "Susu oat!!"

English: 
So cute!
I can only imagine she's sitting there hoping to get a passport photo
and this thing prints out.
*laughing*
You can still use it as a passport photo, I'm pretty sure.
"Justin please add me here thank you. i don't care about th gay"
Come on Justin, what are you doing?
Add your grandma on Facebook!
This makes me really glad that I don't have Facebook anymore.
Here's a perfect example of what Mark Zuckerberg meant when he wanted to connect people
We have one person posting, "Mum passed away last night. Rest in peace my lovely mum 🙏🙏🙏"
👏 👏
"Signs and Symptoms of Irritable Bowel Syndrome"
You know this happened because
if you post a hyperlink in your Facebook post, and then delete it
it still posts the whole thing as an image link.
So she had just this article copied in her control and paste probably.
Oh my god, but my favorite of this post
is the comment "OAT MILK!!!"
*laughs*

Indonesian: 
Lo tau ga? Beberapa budaya menganggap susu oat sebagai lambang kesedihan.
Gue ga tau sih kenapa gitu.
Emang orang tua jaman now
pada kayak gitu ya di FB?
Mereka udah tau soal medsos.
Mungkin kita aja yang salah pake FB!
"Kirim doa. Maaph ea bikin km syedih!"
Debbie.
Jahat amat.
LOL
"Bukan itu maksudku, aku beneran berdoa buat kamu, pengen peluk semua keluargamu"
Terus diapus. Debbie, lo harus sadar
apa yang lo lakuin, Debbie!
Jangan pura-pura! Buset.
Eh gue keren ga kalo pake ini?
Postingan selanjutnya dari FB lain.
Ini bukan postingan terbaik sih emang.
Andrea : "syukurlah kerang baik-baik saja"
 (kerang = shell)
"Kerang baik-baik saja"
"Kerang ga apa-apa"
"Kerang rapopo"
"Gue doain dia" (1)
"Gue doain dia" (2)
"Doa" (1)
"Doa" (2)
"Doa" (3)
"Doa" (4)
"DOA"
(nge-gas, pertamax!!!)

English: 
You know in some cultures, oat milk is a sign of grief.
I don't know, what is this?
Is this what parents are doing on Facebook now that they've taken over the social media?
Maybe we're the ones that use Facebook wrong all along!
"Sending prayers. I'm so sorry about the heart break!"
Debbie: the absolute savage
"LOL!!!!!!!!!! 🐛"
*laughs*
"That's not what's supposed to come up there, but I pray for you, and hugs to the whole family!"
Then delete it! Debbie, you knew exactly what you're doing Debbie.
Don't even pretend. Goddamn. Can I say,
I look goddamn good in this.
Our next post comes from another Facebook.
This probably could be the greatest chain of posts of all time
Andrea: "im glad was shell be fine" 
"shell be ok"
"shell be ok"
"shes ok"
"prayers for her"
"prayers for her"
"prayers"
"prayers"
"prayers"
"prayers"
"PRAYERS"

English: 
"hesl ok"
*laughs*
"PRAYERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"HESL OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"HESL HONRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"WHY CANT I POST?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
*laughing*
God bless you Andrea.
God bless you. And thank you for your prayers.
"Wow just saw 4 hugh coyotes on
the railroad"
*laughing*
What the--
I'm so confused!
Oh, this one is great. Tara...
I didn't know this, but apparently still some young people use Facebook for whatever reason.
Posting stuff like this. Tara: "I hate Rihanna"
Now apparently her grandma saw this post and she commented:
"She might be mean to you Tara, but that doesn't mean you have to be mean to her."
*laughing*
That's right Geraldine, you're goddamn right.
There's no reason to be mean to Rihanna.
Just like there's no reason to be mean to me, ok?
Because I'm not mean to you. You dummy.

Indonesian: 
"Hesl rapopo"
(typo jauh)
"DOOOOOAAAAAAAA"
(nge-gas meledup)
"HESL RAPOPO"
"HESL HONRY"
(=,=)
"KENAPA GUE GA BISA POSTING?"
*napas dulu, bos*
Semoga lo diberkati, Andrea.
Semoga lo diberkati.
Dan makasi ya doanya.
"Wow ada 4 anjing liar di rel kereta"
Apaan nih?
Mau lo apa, njir?
Oke, yang ini keren. Tara..
Gue ga tau kenapa, kids jaman now
masih pake FB apapun alasannya.
Posting kayak ini.
Tara : "Gue benci Rihanna"
Terus neneknya baca postingan dia,
tulis komen :
"Mungkin dia jahat sama kamu, Tara.
Tapi bukan berarti kamu bisa jahatin dia juga"
Bener tuh, nek.
Nenek bener banget.
Kita ga boleh benci Rihanna.
Lo juga ga boleh benci gue ya, gaes.
Soalnya gue kan ga jahatin lo.
Bego lo~

English: 
Here's a review on Amazon for "HP 63 Black & Tri-color Original Ink Cartridges"
"The service was great: It was delivered fast and just what I needed."
*laughs*
Is he an ink cartridge perhaps?
"My homeowners insurance company
posted a video about water damage."
Reply, "Where is the information needed to find my--" You gotta--you gotta wait for this one.
"--needed to find my way main water valve. I bought this house used instead of newly built
"and finding anything has been difficult."
"The former owner lives down the street
but always says I don't know when I inquire about something."
"What is this? How did I get to YouTube. DON'T WASTE MY TIME WITH THIS NONSENSE!!!!!!!"
*laughing*
Judy. That's right YouTube, stop wasting Judith time with such nonsense!
Are you kidding me over here?
YouTube always wasting my time. I hate it.

Indonesian: 
Nah ini review di Amazon soal
"HP 63 Black & Tri-color Tinta Catridge Ori"
"Pelayanannya bagus :
dikirim cepat dan sesuai yang saya butuhkan"
Mungkin dia catridge tinta?
"Perusahaan asuransi rumah saya
mengirim video tentang kerusakan air"
Jawab,  "Di mana informasi yang saya butuhkan.."
nih lo liat deh..
"butuhkan untuk mencari keran air saya?
Saya beli rumah bekas, bukan rumah baru"
"dan kalau ada masalah.."
"..pemilik sebelumnya tinggal dekat sini dan selalu bilang ga tau setiap saya tanya"
"Apa-apaan ini? Kenapa saya masuk YouTube?
JANGAN MAIN-MAIN, BUANG-BUANG WAKTU!!!"
Judith!
Bener tuh, YouTube.
Jangan buang-buang waktunya Judith!
Jangan main-main.
Becanda lo?
YouTube selalu buang-buang waktu gue.
Benci banget gue~

English: 
Now if you for some reason thought I wouldn't promote two merchs in one video, you're goddamn wrong baby.
The Pew News hats are selling like a goddamn God, God.
It's selling-- whatever shut up.
These will only be available for one more day
so now is your last chance to check out represent.com/pewdiepie
I'm just saying it because it's the last chance and I'm really happy with this merch
and I think it's really cool, ok?
There's VERY slick 70 million club merch.
"B**** Lasagna merch. MMM looks so good.
And edgy Pew News much. Oh lalala. Designed by PewDiePie.
And of course the Cyka Lasagna hoodie. Very nice.
Ok. "Granny messaged me to wish me luck on my test."
"All the best for 2day. i will be
thinking of you. Lots of granny.xxx"
Chaturbate Granny Sex
*laughs*
Don't you just love it when you're blessed with granny sex
for good fortune on your test

Indonesian: 
Kalo lo pikir gue gau mau promosiin 2 merchandise dalam 1 video, lo salah.
Topi berita Pew News
terjual banyak banget.
Lagi dijual, tau.
Diem dah lo.
Ini dijual tinggal 1 hari lagi.
Jadi, ini kesempatan terakhir lo beli.
Gue bilang ini kesempatan terakhir
dan gue suka banget sama merchandise ini.
Menurut gue sih, ini keren.
Cocok buat merchandise 70juta subscriber.
Merchandise "B*tch Lasagna".
Widih keren.
Dan berita Pew News keren. Widih.
Di desain oleh PewDiePie.
Dan yang pasti, hoodie Lasagna Cyka.
Bagus banget nih.
Ok. "Nenek kirim aku pesan,
sukses ujiannya"
"Semoga sukses ya 2 hari ini.
Aku mikirin kamu terus loh.."
"Salam sayang dari nenek.
Muah muah muah."
Nenek Sex Chaturbate
Seneng ga sih lo
kalo lo didoain sama nenek sex?
Biar lo lulus ujian gitu!

English: 
Someone posted to the public Facebook group of Walmart saying,
"my grandson is supposed to be having a job interview is he there?"
"Hi Phyllis, we hope your grandson did well" Walmart replies.
Phyllis replies, "he didn't go he was busy catching those poke bugs on his phone. very upset with him."
OHHHHH!!! Sounds like someone is about to get grounded!
With "Poke Bugs" does he mean Pokemon?
I would pick-- I would probably pick
playing Pokemon over a Walmart interview.
So this is from a group where a foldable Bluetooth keyboard is for sale for $20
and someone asks, "Is this item still available?"
"Yep."
Just got your message does it work?
"Yep."
"I just no longer have a practical use for it."
"Is it loud?"
This is all reasonable questions by
the way.
"No, it's a membrane board."
"O never mind."
"You want a loud keyboard?"

Indonesian: 
Ada yang posting di grup terbuka
Walmart di FB.
"Cucu saya lagi interview di sana.
Ada orangnya ga?"
"Halo Phylis, semoga cucu Anda berhasil"
jawab Walmart.
Phyllis jawab, "Dia ga jadi pergi. Sibuk nangkep
serangga Poke di HP. Saya kecewa"
ANJIIIRRRRR!!!!
Ga jadi seneng deh.
Serangga Poke maksudnya Pokemon ya?
Kalo gue sih, mending main Pokemon
daripada interview kerja di Walmart.
Nah ini dari grup tentang keyboard
lipat bluetooth lagi banting harga jadi 20 USD.
Ada yang nanya, "Masih ada ga?"
"Ya"
"Baru baca. Barangnya masih berfungsi?"
"Ya"
"Sudah lama ga saya pakai"
"Suaranya keras ga?"
Pertanyaannya masih masuk akal sih.
"Ga, ini pake papan membran"
"Oh, ya udah"
"Kamu mau keyboard
yang suaranya keras?"

English: 
"Why, you have one and how much? All I have is 20.
"Is it bluetooth yet it's a Bluetooth?"
"YES it's a bluetooth keyboard."
"How much?"
"Is it wireless"
"Can you send pic"
"It's $20. Yes it's wireless."
"Does it work with phone tablets and computers?"
"The pics are in the item gallery"
"what is the gray one"
"the same keyboard, folded"
"do you have to use the keyboard can u use it as a speaker"
"It's just a keyboard."
"Never mind, I'm looking for a Bluetooth speaker."
*laughing*
"Do you want this bowl," Created by granny.
"Do you want this bowl?" 
"Granny added you"
"Granny changed this group's icon" to the bowl
"Granny left"
"You're now an admin" *laughs*
You're having that bowl whether you want it or not.
Sounds like more of a demand for you to
take this bowl, it's so funny.
I never thought of that, that's brilliant, you could do that to your friends

Indonesian: 
"Kamu cuma punya itu,
aku cuma punya 20 USD"
"Pake bluetooth kan?"
"IYA, ini keyboard bluetooth"
"Berapa?", "wireless kan?"
"Ada gambarnya?" (org Indonesia bgt)
"Kan 20 dolar. Iya, wireless"
"Bisa buat tablet & komputer ga?"
"Gambarnya ada di gallery"
"Ini yang abu-abu apa ya?"
"Keyboard lipat juga"
"Harus pake keyboard ya?
Bisa pake speaker nya ga?"
"Ini keyboard doang."
"Ga jadi, saya cari speaker bluetooth"
(kan rese~)
"Mau mangkok ini ga?"
Dibuat oleh nenek.
"Mau mangkok ini ga?"
"Nenek menambahkan kamu"
"Nenek merubah gambar grup"
jadi mangkok.
"Nenek keluar"
"Sekarang kamu admin"
Nah lo sekarang punya mangkok
bodo amat lo mau apa nggak.
Kayak lo pengen mangkok aja,
anjir kocak.
Gue ga kepikiran, ini jenius,
lo bisa giniin temen lo.

Indonesian: 
"Tulis nama yang bikin orang kesel"
"Nenek gue ga seneng"
"Orang-orang kayak lo ga bisa mengekspresikan
diri tanpa ngomong kasar"
Iya bener. Aku ga akan ngatain
jam tanganku, nek.
"Temen kantor 60 tahun kirim pesan
ke saya lebih dari setahun"
"Selamat pagi" (1)
"Selamat pagi" (2)
"Selamat pagi" (3)
"Selamat pagi" (4)
Imut deh.
NGGAK!! Gue ga mau postingan kayak gini.
Pergi lo sana!
"Tante gue melahirkan kemaren
dan kakek seneng banget"
Kakek : "Ok"
OK
OK
Maksud gue, emang kalo lo lagi
seneng, lo cuma bisa bilang OK?
Semua orang tau, lah.
Itu ekspresi paling pol.
"Gue harap..Gue harap seseorang cinta gue
kayak kuda ini cinta banget sama brokoli"
Apa?
Apaan dah?
"LOL, itu kan beruang sama blewah
ya udah rapopo"

English: 
"Name something that pisses you the eff off."
"Grandma is not amused."
"People like you that can't express themselves without bad language."
That's right. I would never swear on my watch, grandma.
"60-year-old co-worker has been texting
me every day for over a year."
"Good morning."
"Good morning."
"Good morning."
"Good morning."
*laughing*
That's kind of cute.
NO! I don't want any wholesome posts in these. GET OUT OF HERE.
"Aunt gave birth yesterday and my grandpa
was very excited."
Grandpa: "Ok."
*laughs* OK. OK.
I mean there's really no-- you can't
get more excited than okay.
Everyone knows that's the pinnacle of expression.
"I wish-- I wish someone loved me as much as this horse loves broccoli."

Indonesian: 
"SERIGALA SAMA SEMANGKA!"
SERIGALA SAMA SEMANGKA, WOY!
"Ada yang liat bedanya ga sih"
Gaes, apa yang lo liat?
"Gue liat serigala sama semangka
kita lagi ngomongin baju, kan?"
Mereka lagi ngomongin baju yang mirip.
Kayak, ini ungu apa kuning?
"Ini harus dihitung. Tanteku nge-screen shot"
Maksud gue, ya berhasil.
Tuh kan.
"Seorang wanita meninggal dan keempat
anaknya terluka dalam kecelakaan di jurang"
Sharon : "Bye"
Jahat lo, Sharon!
Buset. Liat kan lo?
Inilah kenapa, gue suka sama masyarakat.
Mereka ga santai kalo ada sesuatu.
"Kayaknya gambar ini ga bener deh"
"Maaf, ga tau cara hapusnya,  masih belajar"
Gue seneng deh kalo lo selalu cari alasan kayak,
"Maaf ya, masih belajar"

English: 
What? What-- "Um lol that's a bear and a cantaloupe but ok."
"WOLF AND WATERMELON!"
WOLF AND WATERMELON!
"Does everyone see it differently?"
What do you see?
"I see wolf and watermelon is this about a dress?"
Are they talking about the dress
that looked like it was-- what was it like purple or yellow?
"This must technically count. My aunt just took a screenshot."
I mean I guess. I guess
it worked it looks like it did.
"A woman died and her four children were injured
after a crash in the valley."
Sharon: "Bye!" *laughing*
Absolute savage, Sharon!
Goddamn. See, this is why I love old people.
They have absolutely no chill whatsoever.
"This seems a tad inappropriate."
"Sorry don't know how to remove it, yet still learning."
I love that you just have an excuse for just everything as well, "Sorry! Still learning."

Indonesian: 
Semua permintaan maaf gue bisa ditambahin
"Masih belajar"
Kayak gitu tuh.
OK!
Segitu aja soal orang tua di FB,
kocak kan?
Jangan lupa pencet Like dan buka :
dan buka :
Pasti lo pengen keren kayak gini juga kan?
Pasti lo pengen Natal anget kayak gini?
Buat lo ya nih. OK, dadah.

English: 
All my next apologies is gonna be, "Still
learning!"
that's what the are--
OK!
That was it for old people Facebook, wasn't that a good time?
Smash like, check out UglyChristmasSweater.com/pewdiepie
and check out represent.com/pewdiepie
because of course you wanna look this good.
You wanna be comfy for Christmas?
This is what you got. Ok, goodbye!
