(door opens)
- Oh, sh*t.
(gears shift)
Forgot to put it in park again.
(sighs)
(supermarket music)
What?
Hey, excuse me.
Do know where the cereal
is, like the big boxes?
- Oh sorry, I have a boyfriend.
- No, I was asking where the cereal was.
- Yeah, um,
boyfriend.
- I'm not hitting on you.
I was wondering where the cereal was
and I see that you work here.
- For the third time, I have a boyfriend
Please leave me alone.
- What the f*ck?
Am I high?
(mellow music)
(door shuts)
(door opens)
- Yo, Steezy
You're gonna wanna check this out, dude.
And you're definitely not gonna like it.
- What, what is it?
(computer opens)
(keys click)
(upbeat music)
- Let's get right into the news.
Apparently this YouTuber,
named Steezy Kane,
has repeatedly hit on this employee
after she clearly stated
she had a boyfriend.
Steezy has now lost over
900 thousand subscribers
within the last hour
after she uploaded this video titled,
I have a boyfriend.
In the video she clearly states
how Steezy made her feel very
uncomfortable and disrespected.
(computer shuts)
(sighs)
- I just wanted to know
where the f*cking cereal was.
- What dude?
- Like, she worked there
and that was all I could find
and I was just hoping
she could help me find the bigger cereal.
You know, I wasn't like seducing her.
- That's kind of hard to believe
after seeing all this though.
- You're really not gonna take my side?
- I believe you as a friend
but all I know is you need
to make an apology video
like right now before this gets any worse.
(sighs)
(dramatic music)
- Spicy update on the news.
Steezy Kane has responded with
the worst apology video ever.
Roll it.
- Um, okay.
I wanna say sorry
to anything that the girl
might a found disrespectful
but I was not hitting on
her or anything like that.
I don't know how things got so outta hand
but I was honestly, just
tryin' to look for cereal
and I was just trying to get her help.
That's the truth.
(laughs)
- Not one single soul is
gonna believe that story.
And also, we just made another
really disappointing
discovery about Steezy Kane
that's not gonna help his case at all.
- N****’s think it's sweet.
- Yep.
That's him saying the N-word.
- I'm half black.
I can say it.
- So, you can only half say it.
You can only say “nig”.
- That's,
that's not how it works.
- That is how it works,
mathematically.
(cellphone rings)
- Hello?
- He Steezy, this is Fil, um
Yeah, me and the head of
marketing at Bold Crumbs
Just wanted to have a quick meeting,
talk about future plans.
Are you available at the moment?
- Yeah, finally, some good news.
Yeah I'll be there in 30 minutes.
You guys are cutting me off?
- Eh, kinda.
- What do you mean, kinda?
That's exactly what you're doing.
Why'd you make it sound
like it was good news over the phone?
Look, I've been workin' with
you guys for over a year.
Is this because of the f*cking girl thing?
- And because of the N-word.
- Oh my f*cking god, I'm half black.
Odd flex
Look,
(hand thumps)
you guys are the only ones I have left.
Okay, my girlfriend broke up with me
(sad music)
my family doesn't talk to me anymore.
- Listen, I,
we know you're probably
going through a lot.
I mean, but if you look over there,
just because of your behavior,
we call that the Steezy effect.
Our stocks have plummeted.
- There's no way that I did that.
There's no way I did that.
That's because you don't know
how to run a f*cking company.
- Listen, I know you're frustrated.
We just can't keep doing this.
So, um
I think it's time we get him out of here.
(snaps)
-Kevin
- No.
No guys, please don't do this
- Let's go.
- Please don't do this.
Guys, please.
- Don't worry.
We'll find better YouTubers.
- I mean, yeah anyone
can fall on the ground
And sing in public.
(serene music)
(liquid splatters)
- F*ck you, Steezy Kane.
- Bitch.
- What the f*ck?
(door shuts)
(Keys jingle)
(cup slams)
(door shuts)
- There's now
a new video of Steezy littering,
throwing a cup on the ground carelessly.
I mean, this guy just doesn't even care about his image at all
I mean, have you seen the
way he wears his haircut?
He looks like an acorn.
I mean, broccoli called.
They're missing their brother.
(computer shatters)
- What the f*ck?
- What?
You shouldn't be watching that.
- That doesn't mean you can
take it out on my laptop.
- (sighs) F*ck dude, you’re right
- Alright, dude. I think you need to just calm down
take your mind off things.
Let's go to HEB and just get
some ice cream or something.
- Yeah, you're right.
Yeah, let's get some ice cream.
(upbeat music)
- Hey.
My boyfriend and I broke up,
so the cereal's on Aisle five.
(upbeat music)
- Shot one, take one.
(marker clicks)
(marker clatters)
(laughing)
(beep)
- That's not how it works.
Wait.
What did I just say?
(beep)
That's not how it works.
Why am I saying that?
(beeps)
That's not how it works.
- Shot three, take two.
(snaps)
(beeps)
Hey um, do you ah,
do you know where the cer,
Forgot my line.
(beep)
Shot six, take one.
(marker clicks)
- F*ck you, Steezy.
- Bitch.
(beep)
- Take your mind off things.
Let's go get some ice cream.
F*ck, I looked into the camera.
F*ck!
(beep)
- Well, shut your bitch ass up.
(beep)
(beep)
