Hello everyone this is Usha Pandit your
Mindsprings English teacher. Today I'm
going to do the essay with you I'm going
to show you how to write a superb essay
okay so essay means it comes from the word
essayer the French word which means to
try or to attempt
so what are we basically doing we are
attempting to express our thoughts or
ideas or feelings in an essay this is
what basically what an essay does so
today what I'm going to do is I've taken
a topic so I thought there's no point in
telling you how to plan over and over
again talking to you about the various
parts so we are going to take a topic
and then we are going to work through it
and you are going to see how it happens
okay so the topic I've chosen today the
government has proposed mobile phones to
be banned of mobile phones be banned in
schools as they distract students from
their lessons do you agree with this
proposal so a very common topic mobile
phones should be banned is a very very
common topic and this is what you are
asked to write now if you are writing
for a higher class or what for a bigger
exam you need to be very careful to make
sure that your essay is properly
structured and you write it in a way in
which there is you are cogent your essay
flows beautifully you have enough
content your vocabulary is very good
your struck grammatical structures are
clean your beginning and your end has to
be such that in the beginning you grab
attention and in the end you complete it
you leave them with some suggestions or
you leave them with a thought this is
very important whether you are writing
for an audience or like a paper like
newspaper in which case the editor get
so many essays he is probably going to
choose the one that interests him the
most if you are writing for an examiner
or for a competitive exam or your 
essay is going to go in as one of the
several who will be given admission into
a very big College remember that person
also needs to have his attention grabbed
otherwise he's reading so many his
mind is going to go dull when he comes
to your essay which is unattractive in
the beginning so make sure your
beginning is strong so let's see what we
do first and what steps for you so step
one is what I call QA or question
analysis very very very very important
question analysis you don't lose out you
must see what your question needs so
basically it means underline the key
words in your question so what are the
key words in this question the
government has proposed mobile phones
banned in schools
as they distract students from
their lessons so basically mobile phones
banned in schools distract lessons you
take four or five key words like that
and you underline it do you know why I'm
saying this to you because if you don't
underline it you will start writing
about mobile phones you will tell me
mobile phones are very useful you will
start by saying mobile phones are the
future they are the things that allow us
to communicate a lot of business is done
with mobile phones in the early days we
used to have this and now we have ... you
will go right off the topic all that you
say is irrelevant I am not saying that
that is not true of mobile phones but
that is not what is asked of you so you
must focus only
on what is asked and what is asked in
this question is essentially distraction
of students from lesson and that word
banned these are very very important words
that you need to keep in mind when you
argue so don't go don't stray don't
become irrelevant
don't start talking about things that do
not concern students distraction and
lessons that's your focus so let's see
what happens so question and answers
we've done then you come to step two
never do anything without planning the
essay now I've done a video on how to
plan an essay take a look at it
basically planning an essay means
getting your thoughts together
marshaling your thoughts putting them
down so that you know exactly how it's
going to go the journey of the essay or
the road map of the essay is what we
are talking about and that's what you
need to do here so what's basically your
road map it will be an introduction and
there will be three arguments in your
body you need to have at least three
paragraphs one is too little and more
than three is too many but basically you
need three paragraphs now it is possible
that you are giving an examination where
they only want you to write one
paragraph even then you must have an
opening introductory statement put your
three arguments one after the other and
make your conclusion into one single
paragraph if that is what they want if
you are writing for a very big
examination and they ask give you a word
limit of 2500 words 3000 words
then you can have more than three
arguments you can have more and more
paragraphs in the body of your argument
your introduction and conclusion remain
the same in which case you can add more
anecdotes to your arguments you can make
sure that your arguments are better
explained okay so it doesn't matter
whether you're writing one paragraph or
you're writing three thousand words what
matters
that this structure is not disturbed so
let me tell you why this is very
important what
so let me just complete
this so you choose vocabulary when you
are planning think about the kind of
words that you want to write for mobile
phones and for students and for
distraction in a certain vocabulary that
will come into play you need to choose
that and you also need to choose
counter-arguments one of the best ways
of arguing is to think about the
opposition's arguments and to counter
them then the your own argument becomes
very very strong so that might be a good
way to do it
if you are writing for a highly
competitive exam you want to get into an
Ivy League let us say those people
expect you to be critical thinkers they
expect you to have very original
thoughts and unique ideas in which case
you cannot write a straightforward essay
you need to start playing sometimes what
we call the devil's advocate and you
need to put in elements there that are
completely different perspectives that
are unique so these are the various
kinds of exams you might have and the
kind of variations you might try to have
to do on your essay depending upon your
exam now let us see what what happens
with the introduction so first I am
going to do step 3 which is that which
is the introduction make sure you see
this video till the end otherwise have a
paper and pencil use it like a tutorial
and make sure you write an essay after I
finish you finish with this if you like
I'll send you put in my comments box I'd
put the put up place where you can
actually give me your email id and I
might mail you a sample essay that might
be good for you and you can study that
also I really really want you to do well
so step three is
the introduction introduction of that
only is very important so do an
attention-grabbing introduction when you
start I must get interested and how do I
get interested you have to arouse my
curiosity you have to make me say I
wonder what he or she is going to write
I wonder how she is going to take this
argument forward you must arouse my
curiosity and one of the ways to do it
is to give a quote a good quote a quote
that is humorous a quote that is unusual
a quote that makes me think all of these
are good so don't just give a quote that
is a platitude a platitude where you
write this very clichéd cooked that
everybody has quoted before so if you
say something like time and tide waits
for no man
that's a cliche that's a boring quote
you quote somebody where the person
starts thinking immediately the reader
starts thinking about it immediately a
good quote if you have one otherwise do
an anecdote you can talk about
distraction. Distraction itself might be
one of those things that you have
experienced so you might want to write
about distraction you might want about
how to write something controversial
about distraction so it's not necessary
that you should be straightforward you
can write a controversial thing also see
you're getting my attention the minute
you do controversy I want to read what
you have to write next so an anecdote is
a good one don't make it long
introductions need to be brief so write
it very simply and catch attention you
know what guys practice introduction
take a large number of essays and just
practice the introduction see if you can
do it there in a very very short
paragraph of about three or four lines
five lines see if you can do it see if
you can write an anecdote see if you can
find a quote that's how you practice for
exams just writing 25,
30, 50 essays is not going to help you you
must do it intelligently so quote
anecdote you can use a rare fact suppose
I tell you a fact where do you know kind
of fact if I tell you distraction is
found to be very beneficial by
scientists suppose I make a statement
like that then it's not only
controversial it's completely against
convention but the reader reading it is
saying I wonder how you're going to
prove it see so therefore a rare fact a
rare scientific fact will help you to
take it forward and get my attention
a rhetorical question so are we going to
ban mobile phones from every place
because of distraction are we going to
take it off from officers from railway
stations because anyone can be
distracted so you might ask a question
like that which immediately makes the
reader feel yeah that's ridiculous you
can take it out from everywhere or if
you ask your rhetorical questions like
are we trying to say that our young
people are irresponsible so that's a
hard-hitting question so if you ask
something like that your opening line
becomes strong then next I have for you
is step four in the introduction this is
also part of the introduction both these
steps is your thesis statement
now people when they hear thesis
statement they get frightened they're
like thesis statement I don't know they
think of PhD and they think of all those
big degrees and they say I don't know
what to write in my thesis statement
it's one of the simplest things to write
a thesis statement is basically taking
the core words of your task
so whatever core words we've got there
we've got mobile phones banned distract
students and lessons so those are those
words you catch and put it aside take
the task questions because what are
you doing you're reatering
your topic you're basically saying I've
understood the topic don't start writing
straight away
don't write mobile phones are an
excellent device and people cannot do
without it anymore
don't start writing on that your word
limit will first go for a toss because
you are writing irrelevant details
instead of that tell them that you have
read this and you have understood what
they want and don't stray from it
don't go somewhere else most important
so take those words and put it down in
your plan and then you decide on what
are the three arguments that you want
three arguments what do you what are
your three arguments so you might sit
down and say distraction in class
mobile phones nah I think mobile phones
are good because it has the web doesn't
it so if you have the web how can you
stop children from being distracted you
can send them to a place where they are
actually doing some work
when does distraction happen? Distraction
happens when you are bored if
there is a professor or a teacher
they're going bla bla bla bla at you
that is when you get distracted and if
you have a phone then you say let me
message somebody or let me talk to the
guy in front with my mobile phone that's
the distraction but if I want to engage
you in the task suppose I am talking
about earthquakes and I say I want all
of you to look at earthquakes in
different countries by using your mobile
phone now everybody is looking for
earthquakes
so it's participatory  isn't it ? It's
participatory. You have the whole you
have a lot of resources available to you
and you can therefore research it
thoroughly and finally it is
communicative this is the these are the
ideas I thought of now you can think of
different ideas but you must all come
down to attacking distraction if you are
going to say I disagree if you are going
to say I agree
then your poll essay will be different
then you will tell me what the problems
are with mobile phones you will try to
tell me how children no matter what you
do they are going to be distracted so
you will have a different line of
argument altogether whatever your line
of argument put down the three four
words from your arguments so what are
they for me it is participatory, wide
exposure  B) wide exposure and C)
communicative so I can if I'm going to
talk about this I can if I don't want to
be distracted I can talk to somebody in
Japan I can talk to somebody in Malaysia
and we can together solve a problem if
I'm doing history if I'm doing the
history of Nazi Germany I can talk to
German children and say what are the
feelings today towards Nazis I can
actually have a conversation see that is
the power of the mobile phone of the
Internet what are we doing now you've
got one teacher and one book you've got
one resource you got this much limited
information and that is what is being
dished out to you probably something
that you can read yourselves now these
are your arguments see and they are all
confined to the classroom and to
distraction most important so therefore
if you do this then I will show you now
I've got core words here and I've got
three words for mine from my arguments
now I will put them together and create
my thesis statement so let's see how I
do that so let's look at the thesis
statement as I said we are going to look
at the core words and the question and
we are going to look at the core
paragraph arguments okay those words so
it goes here thesis statement
Herodotus once wisely said we do not
step in the same river twice so now
that's a quote we are using a quote
there and you will need to explain
that code so I have not really put it
here as I said if you write to me then
I'll send you the sample of this essay
and you can see how it works and what he
meant was that life goes forward it does
not starry with the past mobile phones
are your future so mobile phones are
basically here to stay
they're not going anywhere are they so
they're for mobile phones are here to
stay you're making a strong statement
you've said you've explained somebody so
many hundreds of years ago said that you
don't step in the same river twice good
quote and then mobile phones are here to
stay I strongly disagree so that's your
thesis statement so one little quote one
small explanation
one strong sentence where you say mobile
phones are here to stay so it's like
no argument there
and then your behavior as I said you
have to be ascertain you can't say I
think mobile phones are important you
can't use words like I think I believe
maybe you can't use words like I do to
be very strong when you argue your case
so you've said that and I strongly
disagree with the proposal to ban mobile
phones
see all those key words are coming in to
stop student distraction so distract
students have made it into distraction
to stop student distraction as we know
distraction as we know successful
learning is participatory has wide
exposure and is communicative my three
words from my three arguments I picked
up and I've thrown it into my thesis
statement that's what I have done my
introduction now tells you what you can
expect in my essay I can you can look at
it and say okay she's going to argue on
participation in the class she is going
to talk about wide exposure and
therefore research that you can do and
she is talking about communication
through mobile phones so I've told you
this very clearly do you see this
we know what have I done I have now
included my audience in the decision
that I have made very cleverly I'm not
saying I know I'm saying we know that
successful learning so you can't refute
right in the beginning I have
established that you cannot now refute
what I am saying because I have included
you in my argument so that's a great way
to begin very succinct don't write so
much don't repeat that entire question
in this do not copy change it so that
the core words come into your statement
the next step is of course your three
paragraph body it could be five
paragraphs depending upon what kind of
exam you are doing so or a three
statement if you are going to do only
one paragraph so three paragraph body
each argument remember must have
evidence you can't just say I know that
this is the successful way to learn
because by keeping mobile phones there
is going to be participation in the
classroom I can't say that and stop I
have to give examples or I have to give
reasons or I have to give evidence that
this is true if I can get scientific
data then even better then you really
cannot argue with me because my
arguments are now water-tight if I'm
going to argue on the other side where I
might think of a teacher or a set of
teachers who might oppose this right
then I might want to counter it in one
of my arguments by saying teachers do
not get out of their comfort zones and
try participation using mobile phones so
if you haven't tried it you don't know
whether it works or not see I can
actually cut that argument so this is
what I meant by when I said you can cut
other people's arguments but it has to
be done very you know neatly and it has
to be pushed and very cleverly so that's
your three and then you have to use key
ideas and
your sentences so let me read out to you
parts of the body because there's no
point in writing all of that on the
board it's going to be extremely
difficult
so it says mobile phones aid exposure to
wide content webs see that's my key
statement that you get wide exposure if
everyone has a mobile phone then
you have access so I could have said an
exposure and access good word access to
wide content webs. Webs of learning are
available mobile phones are ubiquitous
cm avoid ubiquitous everywhere
nice word ubiquitous and everyone can
access the web through them so I have
reinstated what I said if the task on
hand involves pollution so I'm giving
you an example now suppose you are
talking about pollution digital
intelligence gives us a wide web of
knowledge which might include statistics
interviews experiments diagrams and
other relevant information that can not
be delivered by one textbook or one
teacher it's a strong argument isn't it
there's plenty of evidence that I'm
throwing on you I'm not just saying it's
don't repeat yourself don't keep on
saying the same thing over and over
again because that's one of the mistakes
that students make they say the same
thing in many ways the teacher who has
not activated a tool for learning
purposes has shortchanged the lessons
potential by not using mobile phones now
it's hard anything now I'm saying if you
haven't used it you shortchanged your
class so it's strong see put
your strongest arguments actually you
can put them last you can build them you
know it so if you think this is a
paragraph that should come last you can
put it as a third paragraph you don't
have to put it as the first the second
one was the main cause of student
disengagement is lack of participation
in the classroom why are they distracted
see I'm now playing on the distraction
is lack of
participation in classroom activities
which can no longer continue to be
teacher driven the world has changed
this passive receiving of instruction is
a major cause of straying attention in
the classrooms studies have shown that
when mobile phones are used
constructively to research and
communicate on the topic of the lesson
students have been committed to task and
their grades have been better than
before traditional systems must make way
for new technology to facilitate
learning see the words new technology
facilitate learning this is about
vocabulary I'm talking about or at least
use technology as a complementary tool
so if you don't want to throw out
everything keep your classroom keep your
teacher keep your textbook but use this
as a complementary tool instead of
rejecting it by focusing on its abuse
what are you doing now you're focusing
on its abuse or they are distracted oh
my god they will look at something
that's undesirable you're focusing on
the abuse focus on the use is what is
being say so it's a very strong
hard-hitting argument my second
paragraph is over my second argument is
over the third one finally so my
cohesion comes in there finally
communication is a significant 21st
century skill see the arguments have to
be strong it's a future 21st century. and can
can be facilitated
across the world by mobile phones mobile
internet connects real people and places
on the web to one another it is time
that we got out of textbooks and started
talking to real people so they want to
know what happened to let us say the the
Chandrayaan
problem that we had yesterday shouldn't
they be talking to one of us or should
they be reading it in a book this is
what we mean by real communication
mobile internet connects with real
people and
placed on the web to one another this
will help students to not only
understand the lesson firsthand and
therefore better but also engage them in
teamwork globally to find creative
solutions to universal human problems
this makes learning wide authentic
practical and connected so one two three
four
you've given four reasons so there are
three strong very very strong paragraphs
and arguments that have been written
they are not very long winding they
don't repeat themselves they don't seem
to be going all over the place very
focused to argue that you should not ban
cellphones now you are coming to the
conclusion where you are going to
summarize so this part will summarize so
let us see what what it says so what I
have written is as argued the wide
exposure participatory methods and the
communication potential of mobile phones
are unreliable
strong assertive statements and I have
summarized it in one line I put all my
three points down it would be extremely
regressive see this word another
hard-hitting word to ban a tool that
promotes these key aspects of 21st
century learning and progress so if you
ban it regressive no progress
the government must form a committee
this is my suggestion the government
must form a committee that studies
statistics on the impact of mobility on
learning in the classroom before taking
a convenient populist
or emotional decision to ban them if you
ban them what are you doing you're doing
all this so that's a counter-argument to
the opposition failing to do this would
be contraindicated to the purpose of
Education which which must move beyond
the classroom create empathy and embrace
real life so it's a strong statement
that you have ended with it's something
that will get your reader thinking and
say
yes that's true education must start
moving it must start changing and
banning mobile phones is not only wrong
but it will be completely against the
very principles that you are trying to
promote for the future
so that's your essay you write like this
and you will get fantastic marks but the
most important one most important one
read your essay and self correct for
what I call GPPS grammar punctuation
paragraphing spelling and of course
vocabulary so there's plenty of
vocabulary in writing with ease go ahead
and pick up a copy it's a one-time buy
and you will never be short of words so
if you want a sample of essay you can mail
us at this email id orders@mindsprings.in
email id you can write to me and I'll
send you a sample of what I just read
out make sure you subscribe 
make sure you press the notification
bell write your comments in the box and
tell me what you would like me to do in
other lessons meanwhile keep writing
keep practicing good luck and keep
smiling
