[calm music]
>> I am always honored and privileged
when the Lord opens a door
for me to share my story.
It's a story that I'm gonna
share with you today briefly
but it was a story that took
me over a decade to tell
because of the guilt and shame that I felt
from choosing abortion 32 years ago.
And I can tell you that
it never goes away.
And although God forgives for
all things, including abortion
it still is always there.
A girl recently wrote me on
one of my social media posts
that she follows me and she said,
I'm 15 years old Victoria
and I'm pregnant,
I've been watching you for years
and I admire the work
you do and I've watched
your videos on YouTube or on social media
and I just so admire what
you do and who you are
and what you've become.
So I've decided because I'm
too young to have a baby
I'm gonna go ahead and have an abortion
because I can still end up like you.
And I immediately asked
her for her phone number
so I could call her and when
we spoke on the phone I said,
thank you for your compliments.
But I will not allow you to
take the life of your child
because you look at me and see
what you see on social media.
Because you look at a
woman who's been redeemed,
who's been reconciled to the
Father, who's been forgiven
but what you don't see are the nights
that I'm on the floor of
my home crying out to God
for the choice I made.
Because it never goes away.
We learned to live with it,
post abortive people like me.
But it's still always there.
An alcoholic who is reformed
will still long for that drink.
And the post abortive man or woman
who finds healing through
Christ still longs
for the child they lost.
So never believe when you see someone
that's maybe successful in your eyes
because of where they've been,
that that's an excuse
to go where they were
because what you haven't seen
is what they walked through
to get there and how
they get up every morning
to say God give me another
day to make a difference.
So 32 years ago I was a single mother,
my husband had abandoned us and decided
he didn't wanna be married anymore.
Without any financial
support, emotional support
he took off and actually
moved here to California.
Left us in North Carolina.
So here I was this young
21-year-old mother of two young children.
My daughter, my youngest
was nine months old
and my oldest daughter was three.
So I had to begin working
12 to 14 hours a day
just to feed them.
So when I found out that
this guy where I worked
had a crush on me, because my self esteem
was already shot to pieces
from what I'd already been through
being so young and abandoned by my husband
that I thought would love me forever,
I believed every word he said.
And I feel madly in love with him.
And within nine months of our relationship
I had a pregnancy test that was positive.
Now I knew the outcome of a pregnancy
because I already had two children.
So when I went to my boyfriend
as terrified as I was
and honestly a little ashamed
because I wasn't married to him,
of what people would think.
He didn't give me the reaction
that I thought he would.
I thought he'd be excited
because he loved me
and said he wanted to marry me.
And we'd have children
later and we were gonna
grow old together and put
our teeth in the same jar.
Some of you will get
that on your way home.
So I believed him.
But when I told him I was pregnant
the first thing out of his
mouth wasn't oh this is amazing,
let's get married, let's have a child,
I'm ready to start our
family together now.
It was you know, this
isn't a good time for us.
We've only been together for nine months
and you're so early in
your pregnancy you know,
you know what you should probably do
is call about getting an abortion.
I was shocked.
The man that I thought
was gonna protect me
just told me he wanted me to
end the life of our child.
So I called the abortion clinic
in Charlotte, North Carolina
and I had a long conversation with them.
And when I told her my story
and how I was struggling
as a single mother, this
is what she said to me
over the phone.
"Well don't you think
it'd be really selfish
"of you to bring another mouth to feed
"when you can barely
feed the two you've got.
"And you're only about six weeks pregnant,
"so there's nothing there.
"But a blob of tissue, nothing
more than a clump of cells
"and it'll be just like removing a tumor.
"So let's get you in right away,
"so we can take care of this for you
"'cause this is the best decision
for you to make right now.
"Especially if your
boyfriend's telling you
"he's not ready, especially
when you're struggling
"as a single mother."
So I believed her and
I made the appointment
and on a Saturday morning
because my boyfriend
had to go out of town and
wasn't even there to drive me
to that abortion clinic
I told my babysitter
that I hired to take care
of my two small girls
that I was going shopping and
I'd be back in a few hours.
I didn't tell anybody else
'cause I was too ashamed.
Hey girls when you don't wanna
tell your mother something
you're about to do that's called a clue.
So driving that 25 minutes
to the abortion clinic
in Charlotte, North Carolina
I can remember placing my hand
on my stomach and begging this
unborn child for forgiveness.
Telling this child this was
the best decision for you.
I hope you can forgive me
but this is the best decision
because I don't wanna
bring you into this mess.
It'll be so hard for
me to take care of you
so I know this is what I should do.
Even thinking about adoption
wasn't an option for me
because in my mind in
that crisis situation
I was convincing myself, if
you go ahead and have this baby
you'll end up not wanting
to put it up for adoption,
you'll end up having to keep it.
So the rationale in my
mind was have the abortion,
take care of the issue,
take care of your problem,
because if you give birth,
you'll end up changing your mind
and you'd never put this
baby up for adoption.
And how insane is that?
That I convinced myself an
abortion was a better option
than an adoption plan.
So I drove myself to that abortion clinic,
there were no picketers outside,
there was no one outside.
Whether they would've made a
difference or not, I don't know
and I'm not talking about picketers
that hold up signs of dead
babies, that's not my style.
If it's yours, that's your
business, it's not mine.
I don't believe in screaming at women
that are walking into abortion clinics
calling them murderers,
I don't believe that gets anywhere.
I believe they need love and compassion,
that's what these women need
because they're in a crisis
and they don't know where to turn.
But there was nobody there
that day and I walked
into that abortion clinic
and I'll never forget
the same woman I was
talking to on the phone
was there to take my cash, my $350 cash
because that's what my
child's life was worth.
And I sat in that room with
her and she looked at me
and said, "I'm so glad you
made the decision to come in.
"This is the best
decision, you know it is.
"I'm so proud of you that
you've made the right choice.
"Remember what I told you on the phone.
"It's not really a baby, right now.
"There's nothing in there but tissue."
And I'll never forget looking at her
and saying through tears,
are you sure this is the right thing.
I've got two children, I know
what a pregnancy's outcome is.
Are you sure I'm doing the right thing?
And she took me by the hand and she said,
"Oh honey, do you think our government
"would allow it to be legal
"if it could harm you in any way?"
Don't even get me started
on that right now.
We don't have time.
But here's what I want you to hear
about what happened in that
room before I walked in
and allowed them to take
the life of my child.
This sweet, kind, woman who I'd spent
an hour on the phone earlier in the week
making the appointment convincing me
this was what was best for me.
After she looked at me and
said when you leave here,
never think of this again.
You'll be able to have more children later
when the timing's better so when you leave
just don't ever think of it again.
As I handed her my $350 cash
this kind, sweet, compassionate woman
changed before my eyes and the next words
out of her mouth were,
"Now if you change your mind
when you're on that table
"you don't get your money back.
"We don't give refunds here."
I walked out that room and I waited
for my name to be called.
They called me into the next room,
the nurse had me undress,
sit on this table,
he'll be in in a minute.
Tears streaming down my face once again,
are you sure I'm doing alright,
excuse me, are you sure
I'm doing the right thing?
I don't know if I wanna do this.
I'm just not sure, honey
you're gonna be fine.
It's not gonna take long, you'll be fine.
You can even go out tonight if you want.
You're gonna be fine.
The next person that
walked in was the doctor,
short little guy, white
hair, never forget him.
He walked in really fast, I mean,
trust me I wasn't the only girl there.
And this is gonna sound pretty graphic
but this is what he said.
"Scoot down and spread your legs."
I did as I was told and I can remember
looking up at the ceiling
thinking, I wanna get out of here.
Oh my God I wanna scream,
I wanna scream no.
I wanna scream I've changed my mind.
I want to leave but the
words wouldn't come out
and do you know what I
was more fearful about?
I was more fearful of making them angry.
So I kept my mouth shut.
They took my baby in a matter of minutes,
but what they never could take from me
was the memory of my baby.
And that's what happens
every day in abortion clinics
across this country,
women are being lied to,
they're not being told the truth,
they're being manipulated
in the most critical time
of crisis that they've
ever found themselves in.
Because they know what to say to them,
to get them to go through with it.
Because the abortion industry
is a multi-billion dollar industry.
The abortion industry
has nothing in my opinion
to do with women's healthcare.
It has to do with money.
When they took me into the next room
and said stay in this
recovery room for 30 minutes,
take these two Tylenols,
then you can leave.
I lasted maybe five minutes.
There were rows and rows
of women in that room
and young women and older
women and young girls
and the only thing you
could hear was the wailing
of every person in that room.
Some of them were
clutching their stomachs,
some of them were bent over.
Some of them were sobbing.
Some of them were silently
crying but you could hear,
you could just hear every
tear that feel including mine.
And I told them to give me my clothes,
I wanted to get out and when I got out,
I ran to the elevator and
then I stood in that elevator.
I knew then I'd just made the
greatest mistake of my life
and I knew I was never gonna be the same.
My life had changed forever.
It took over 10 years
for me to finally confess
what I had done to
someone who could help me
and it was a local pregnancy
center that I went to
where I asked for help
'cause I couldn't live
with the guilt and shame anymore.
And I went through
post-abortion counseling
and it changed my life.
Because I wanna tell
you, in a room this size,
somebody in this room has
either had an abortion
or you know someone who has.
When one out of four women in this country
has had an abortion, they are
sitting in our churches too.
I can guarantee you there is someone here
that's been affected and
I would encourage you
to reach to somebody you trust to get help
because there is help
available and don't be crippled
by an abortion like I
was for over a decade.
It changed me, it made me get involved
in relationships that
weren't healthy for me
because I thought I deserved it.
I thought how could God
ever give someone like me
any form of happiness
when I had taken the life
of my own child.
God must hate me.
But I was wrong.
Because when I accepted
Christ's forgiveness
for having an abortion
that's when God said
now watch what I'm gonna do.
You're gonna share your
message with as many people
that I put in front of you
because they need to hear the truth
of what an abortion is.
We're living in a country today
where our society believes
abortion is no worse
than having a tooth pulled.
We're watching them celebrate in New York,
lighting up buildings because
we can now have abortions
past 40 weeks and after the child's born,
they're blocking bills
to protect those babies
that are born alive
from a botched abortion.
This is the country we live in today
and I'm convinced you guys
that you're the generation
who's going to have to make a difference
because I will stand here and tell you,
my generation and the generation
before me have failed us.
You have to be the one
that stands up and says,
enough is enough.
People try to tell me, well Victoria
abortion's fine up to six
weeks, up to eight weeks.
It's not really a baby,
well how convenient for you
since you've already been born.
Think about this.
From conception science has proven
we have our own unique DNA.
From conception we are individually
different human beings.
The only difference between
the ones of you sitting
in this room right now and me,
and all of us in this room, all
of the people on this planet
from the moment of conception
to today is growth.
That's it.
We are the same, we have the same DNA.
At that moment, everything is
determined about who we are
from our eye color, from our hair color.
So many different characteristics.
Yet the only thing that has changed
is that we're older, we're
conceived, we become a zygote.
Then we become an embryo,
then we become a fetus,
then we become a baby that's born.
Then we become a toddler,
then we become a preschooler
and a preteen and a teenager
and then we become adults
and then senior citizens
if we make it that far
and then we die, that's
the only difference.
We're Christians in this room,
I'm assuming I'm talking to
Jesus believing Christians
who believe what the word of God says.
So that in itself is enough proof for us
but let's just say you're sitting here,
like someone told me a couple days ago,
well I don't believe in God Victoria.
I don't believe in God so
I don't have to believe
that abortion is wrong.
I said what does that got to do
with whether abortion is wrong or not?
Whether you believe in God.
Let's put God aside, you're an atheist,
agnostic, whatever you identify as
but let's talk about human beings,
is it okay for us to murder someone?
Well of course not.
Is it okay for us to do
X, Y, Z, of course not.
Then what does God got
to do with you believing
someone shouldn't be murdered?
We've got to get out of this mentality
about oh it's a women's right,
it's pro woman to be pro abortion.
Let me tell from a woman
who's had an abortion,
there is nothing pro woman about abortion.
The effects that women have
from going through an abortion
are not healthy.
They are not pro woman.
I suffered for years from the anxiety,
from the guilt, from the shame.
I know women who've suffered
for decades and decades
before they find healing through Christ.
Through post abortion
counseling and they look at me
and say they told me it
was the best thing for me,
this would be the healthiest
decision I could make.
What's healthy about
getting in a relationship
with a guy who beats you because
you think you deserve it?
What's healthy about becoming promiscuous
or an alcoholic or an addict?
Because you can't stand
the memory of what you did.
What's healthy about that?
And now let me talk about
the men for a minute.
Because we've made this
only about the woman,
and the issue's all about poor women.
Oh the poor, oh all the
women, all the women.
We've gotta do this for the women,
let me tell you something.
Men are hurting too.
After I went through my own
healing from my abortion
I wrote a book about the
effects abortion has on women.
I met with women who'd
gone through abortion
and I wrote their stories
through the interviews with them.
So that it would help other
women not make that choice.
So when my book was about to
be published I called him,
it had been 10, 12 years
since we had spoken
because we broke up after our abortion
and remember this statistic,
nine out of 10 times
where an abortion occurs,
couples don't stay together.
It's too traumatic of an
experience to stay together.
It's a reminder of what they did.
So he and I said alright,
we'll have this abortion,
we'll have kids later, we're
gonna get married later.
I love you, you love me, we didn't make it
and when we broke up
I grew to despise him.
Because I felt like he
went on with his life
but I was the one dealing
with all these ramifications
from the choice we had made.
That he had pressured me to make.
But yet, he's going out
there doing his own thing
because we had a lot of the same friends
in the same circles so I knew
what was happening with his life.
Praise God we never ran into
each other before this time.
But I thought he should
know about the book.
I had gone through healing myself,
so this man who I'd hated all these years,
I picked up the phone and I called him
and I said hey it's me.
He knew my voice immediately
and he started to sob.
He said, "I've been waiting for this call
"for over a decade.
"To beg you for forgiveness
for what I made you do.
"It has haunted me all these years
"and I've been in therapy for
eight years dealing with it.
"Will you forgive me?"
First thing I realized
was how much I hated him
and how much unforgiveness
I had toward this man.
But in that moment, I
forgave him and I said yes.
You know we tend to think
that if we hold unforgiveness
towards somebody else we're like bigshots.
So you know we're, but unforgiveness
is like taking poison and
expecting the other person to die.
And in that moment I realized the relief
that came from me, from
hearing him asking me
and me granting him forgiveness
of how it changed me
but the second thing that happened to me
in that phone call was
it shifted my paradigm
as to how I view men in this issue
and I felt like the Lord
spoke to my heart and said,
don't forget about these men.
Whether they paid for it,
whether they drove her,
whether they convinced her, pressured her
or made her do it, eventually these men
come to the realization that
that was their child too.
So what I realized then was
we've got to start talking
about men in this country who
are hurting from abortion.
60 million plus abortions
since Roe v. Wade.
That's 120 million mothers
and fathers out there
dealing with the ramifications of it.
That's a lot of people.
And I believe it has a snowball effect
in their societies, where they work,
in their families because
they are not dealing with it.
People are afraid to stand up and say
I am post abortive because
they're so terrified
of being rejected from their church,
of being rejected from their
family or their friends.
They already feel rejected from God.
So if that is you and you're
sitting here this morning
and you are a post abortive man or woman
I am gonna ask you to reach out to me,
get my card, you don't have
to tell me anything today,
find out how to get in touch with me.
It's very easy,
victoria@savethestorks.com.
You can get in touch with
me and I will help you
find the resources you
need to help you be free
of that guilt and shame you feel.
Remember I told you at the
beginning it never goes away.
It's always gonna be there.
That doesn't mean I can't function.
It doesn't mean I'm in the
fetal position every day.
But I'm not gonna stand
here and lie to you
and tell you that when God forgives us
it's still not there and
you're not sad about it.
If a young girl comes to an altar
and she's pregnant from
having sex outside of marriage
and asks God to forgive her for having sex
outside of marriage, is
he going to forgive her?
This means yes.
But she's still pregnant,
there's consequences
for decisions that we make.
My consequence will be that
I'll long to see my child
until I'm in heaven.
My consequence is that I'd
rather be working at a bank
to be honest with you than
traveling around the country
sharing a story like this.
There's a new movie out called Unplanned
has anybody in here seen it yet?
One person, thank you.
Anybody else?
I am, it's playing then around here?
What theater is it playing at?
Okay, I am going to put
a challenge out there
to you guys whether you
believe anything or saying
or whether you're sitting
here and you don't know
if you're pro-life, pro-choice
or you're on the fence.
Whatever the case is.
This movie is not propaganda.
This movie is not doing
anything but showing the truth
about abortion in this country.
It is one of the greatest films I believe
that has ever been made in the history of,
in my lifetime, on the abortion issue.
So I'm gonna ask you to
please go buy a ticket
and go see this movie.
If you're sitting here
and you're pro-choice,
'cause look I go to Christian schools,
and there, I still meet
people that are pro-choice.
They may not tell anybody
but they're pro-choice.
I'll buy your ticket for you,
that's how important this movie is.
Abby Johnson was a Planned
Parenthood clinic director,
just like that woman who
took my money for eight years
and for eight years she was convinced
she was doing what was best for women.
For eight years she believed
this was the right thing to do,
for eight years she fought her husband
who wanted her to leave
Planned Parenthood.
Her parents who said why are you working
where they're having abortions,
because she truly believed
this is what was best,
to give women the choice.
But on a Saturday morning
she witnessed an abortion
for the first time in eight years
and it changed everything for her.
When she watched that 13-week-old
baby trying to get away
from the machine and trying to get away
from the cannula that
was going to suck it out
of its mother's womb.
It changed everything because
she knew the truth then.
See here's the problem with
people in this country.
They don't wanna know the truth
because they wanna keep
pleading ignorance.
'Cause once you know the
truth you can't anymore.
Because then God says there's the line
which side are you gonna stand on?
I'm feeding some truth to you today
and I am telling you, that
we have science on our side.
We have the medical community on our side
that says a baby feels fear
and it feels pain in the womb.
Science says we are
unique from conception.
We are human beings from conception.
That's not some Christian
scientist, that's science.
We have everything on our side now.
So what's your excuse if we don't believe?
What are we gonna do about
it to stand up and say,
I'm gonna fight for these unborn children.
But it isn't just them,
hear me when I tell you.
It's these mothers and
fathers who need the truth
because when that child's
aborted and my belief,
my child immediately was
in the arms of Christ.
But I am the one who's left
here to deal with what I did.
My boyfriend that I had
that phonecall with,
he was left to deal with what he'd done.
On a morning that we opened
up a pregnancy center
right outside Nashville,
Tennessee I was cutting the ribbon
with the mayor and we were offering
free ultrasounds again
at the pregnancy center
which we did every day
and nine out of 10 times
when a woman came in who
was considering abortion
and she had an ultrasound she chose life.
'Cause you can't deny a heartbeat,
it's hard to deny arms and legs.
But on the morning that we
opened this second center up
to save lives, I got a
phonecall right after.
From a friend who said I
thought you should know,
that he passed away in
his sleep this morning.
He was only 46 years old.
But I was so glad that years earlier,
I made that phonecall to
him so we could make peace
and that he would know I forgave him.
If you've had an abortion
and you're sitting here
I'm not telling you to
get on the phone today
and call that person from your past.
I'm telling you to get healing first.
Before you do anything else.
And that's gonna take courage
to go tell somebody you trust.
3000 babies a day are dying
at the hands of abortionists
in this country, 3000.
I don't expect everybody in this room
to start going around and marching places
and doing different
things but maybe you could
volunteer at your local pregnancy center.
Maybe you could be more
vocal on social media,
maybe you can talk to
your friends in love.
Talk to your friends and
have discussions about it.
Maybe you'll find a way
and let God lead you
to an area where you can
help fighting for the unborn.
But just keep this in mind,
don't believe the lie that if you do,
that means you're taking
a woman's right away.
Being pro-life is pro woman
because we're helping these
women not make a choice
that's gonna haunt them
for the rest of their life.
If a woman chooses abortion
I'm still gonna be there for her.
I'm still gonna love her through it
and I'm gonna help her with counseling
but my goal is before she walks in
that I can share my story with her
or share the truth that
there are other options
besides immediately going to abortion
but that's what our
country is trying to feed
to this society that
that's the best option
if you don't want a child, if
you're not ready for a child.
If you're too young for
a child and the list goes
on and on and on.
Abortion should never be the option.
You may have heard about these laws
that are being passed that
we've got to let women
have abortions because their
babies might be killing them
and their health is at risk,
there has never, hear me when I tell you.
Never been a case where a woman's baby
has to be killed to save her life.
The doctor would simply
need to just perform
an emergency c-section.
He doesn't need to take
the time to kill the child.
He would just take 10
minutes to get the child out.
There is an abortion
doctor right now on YouTube
who's done 1200 abortions
over 100 of them late term.
Who has come out of that world
and now he is speaking
so people will hear him
and this is what he said.
Never was it necessary for
me to kill these children
to save the mother.
It's quicker to get them
out through c-section.
Think about that.
So if you wanna talk about
propaganda, that's propaganda.
You guys don't be stupid,
don't be ignorant.
You don't believe me,
go look it up yourself.
Go see the movie Unplanned.
Pray for God to show you the truth
because this American Holocaust
needs to become unthinkable.
And I'm not talking about
getting involved in politics
maybe some of you that's your future
and praise God for it.
We need more pro-life politicians.
That's not what I'm called to do.
But if we can change the hearts and minds
of people with the truth
about what abortion is
and what it isn't and how
it is damaging men and women
and our society, it won't
matter what the laws say.
Because abortion will become unthinkable
and that should be our goal.
>> Announcer: Discover
who you're called to be
at Biola University, a leading
Christ-centered university
in Los Angeles.
With programs on campus and online.
Subscribe for more of our videos
and learn more at biola.edu.
