I had no plans
to make it in America.
If you're here
because of Nanette,
why?
Had I known
just how wildly popular
trauma was going to be
in the context of comedy,
I might've budgeted
my shit a bit better.
But I went and put
all my trauma eggs
into one basket
like a fucking idiot,
and now, here we are.
When I first started
touring here,
I was told I should
Americanize my language.
To which I responded,
"Fuck off!"
I mean, I've made
some concessions for you.
I'm not a monster.
Aluminum?
Why would you say
"aluminium,"
when you can flirt it?
"Aluminum."
Stop it, America.
And "y'all"?
I'm taking "y'all."
I love "y'all,"
because "y'all"
is the best,
most inclusive
second-person
plural pronoun
in the English-speaking
world!
Thank you, the South.
What an ally.
