♪♪
Are you worried about video game feminists?
Well, now, for the low, low price of $15,000 a month for an undisclosed amount of time,
you—yes, you—can be a part of gaming history and make two dudes have more money than before!
Help Jordan Owen and Davis Aurini afford a new camcorder,
and maybe some fucking makeup!
She's a professional victim, I tell you!
She fled her home, AND she's a professional!
Those things are technic—it's technically accurate, god damn it!
Fifteen thousand dollars...!
Why would I waste money on a mere feature-length documentary
when I can watch Jordan Owen ranting on his couch about Anita Sarkeesian for 14 fucking hours for free?
But now we have to go on the run! The feminists dropped Davis in the forest,
and he doesn't want to get dirt on his turtleneck!
Come on, Davis, we have to—no, stop lecturing me about ethics!
We have to get out of here!
And can you please stop trying to start a forest fire?!
Fifteen thousand dollars!
I can't wait to be told what to think by this guy. I mean, he has such amazing thoughts about ethnic minorities.
"We should be absolutely furious
with the niggers. Not the blacks, the fucking niggers."
"Whites had been working for the past several hundred years to eliminate slavery throughout the globe.
And even when we bought the black slaves, we treated them extremely well."
[SCREAMING]
Oh, of course he has a trilby. Of course! Why wouldn't he?
I mean, what else would you hang on your
NOVELTY TOY SKULL?
FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS!
But don't worry, though. These guys are totally cool with women. Hell, women love them.
They get plenty of ass... at the strip club.
"And I'll tell you right now, my favorite dancer at my favorite club is Molly at Tattletale's.
Go look her up, and you'll find out why."
But enough of that bullshit, all this talking about murdering video game women's making me
Ayn Randy! If you know what I'm fucking saying!
That was a pun!
[LAUGHING]
"...to talk about objectivity—the hottest legs in Atlanta just walked down the sidewalk outside."
What did the guy they were attached to have to say for himself?
[COMICAL, OVERWROUGHT LAUGH]
[ECHOEY WHISPERING]
Fifteen thousand dollars a month...
If Atlas shrugs any harder, he'll fall off his dad's fucking couch!
Eleven billion Canadian US dollars!
"This should be the kind of thing that people are mobilizing over.
We should be out in the streets in mass."
Destroying video game feminism!
Yeah, you're really fucking out there right now.
Is that Corinthian leather, or did you make it out of all those fucking belts?!
What— Why are there belts in the corn...?
[LAUGHING]
What the fuck?! Holy shit...
[DEADPAN VOICE]
Fifteen thousand dolla—
Davis Aurini has a fucking blog... Oh, sweet!
He's a master of text, not just audio and visuals.
A better class of people hiked up those mountains.
Politics just melt away, leaving a bunch of fat, pasty white guys.
The color just melted right off all my black friends that I totally have!
Actually, they didn't want to go hiking with me for some reason.
"On paper, I have nothing against white nationalism.
And I am a huge white nationalist on paper."
This guy knows exactly what women are like!
"Women in our culture have become the most decadent sluts since the fall of Rome.
Going out for gangbangs every weekend, and despising the men
that would actually te— treat them with love, dignity and respect."
[RAPID WHISPERING]
Fifteen thousand dollars.
But enough about women, let's do some Bible study!
"So, a series of videos on theology.
I don't think these are going to be the most popular videos I ever record."
"Not the blacks, the fucking niggers."
"So it starts out. Eve allows herself to be tricked by the serpent.
Any of you men out there with experience with women know that
women are so prone to this. They want to..."
Yeah! The Bible, the #1 authoritative source on women...
[LAUGHING]
Oh my God!
[CONTINUES LAUGHING]
Holy shit!
[STILL LAUGHING]
It just keeps— It just— Holy fucking—
FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLAAAAA—
Don't get him started on Karl Marx, a guy whose works he's totally read.
"You see, with the Marxists. The Marxists say the capitalist class
stole all the money, so we're going to go burn down their houses and rape their children, and...
and torture them and hang them, and take their property, then we'll have a socialist utopia."
He knows! He knows! HE KNOWS!
[SCREAMING]
[RAPID WHISPERING]
Fifteen thousand dollars.
My opinion is so expensive that wearing normal clothes wouldn't do it justice.
If you give me $15,000 I'll be able to make a suit out of money, and that would justify my opinion!
Okay, fuck it. I'll watch one more of these, and then I'm... I'm just gonna forget these guys.
Hold on a second, is he playing The Sims while he—
Holy fuck!
[LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY]
What the fuck?! What's—
[CONTINUES LAUGHING]
How many of those do you—
[STILL LAUGHING]
He moves it between shots! He just— He—
[YEP, STILL LAUGHING]
I'm crying!
[MORE LAUGHING]
Oh, fuck it, I'm done! I can't watch any more!
I feel like I should say something at least semi-serious in this, if people are gonna end up watching this.
Um, in one of his videos, Davis Aurini
openly admits that whenever he says anything that sounds even vaguely progressive,
he gets a bunch of shit off of white nationalists. Like, they see him saying something
that's not pro-white people, and they get pissy with him.
Um...
Obviously, this is a terrible thing and the people who do that are the worst kind of scum.
But the real question is why so many white nationalists watch his videos in the first place.
Like...
Have you considered that maybe you're attracting the wrong audience when you talk about how bad black people are?
Or women in general? Come on, now.
I actually, like, watched through some of their stuff, so I could make some kind of long-winded
fucking 40-minute rebuttal, but all I could...
All you can do is laugh.
You don't— you don't need to bother. Like, it's...
[LAUGHING]
I can't believe there's fucking skulls all over the place!
[LAUGHING]
I hope it's not real.
Oh my God, is it real?
[♪ "X-Files Theme Tune" - Mark Snow]
