-Running a bit behind today.
So I thought,
if you guys wouldn´t mind,
I´d just like to write out
my weekly thank-you notes
right now.
Is that cool with you?
[Cheering]
[ Mumbling ]
Cool beans.
Thank you guys so much.
James, can I get some
thank-you-note-writing
theme music, please?
[ Playing tranquil tune ]
[ Laughter ]
Mm, wow. Very weird.
Very odd, very odd man.
-Look how flamboyant.
-Hm.
-Flamboyant pocket square.
-He´s one of the animatronic
musicians at Chuck E. Cheese.
-Is he really?
-Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
-Wow!
-We just got ´im
from Chuck E. Cheese.
[ Laughter ]
[ Chuckle ]
♫♫
Thank you, President Trump,
for firing Steve Bannon.
Wow, I did Nazi that coming.
[ "not see" ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
Nazi. [ "not see" ]
[ Both laughing ]
-Oh, God.
-I did Nazi that coming.
[ "not see" ]
[ Laughter ]
♫♫
[ Fresh laughter ]
Thank you,
opening a tab at a bar,
for being the prequel
to forgetting your card
at a bar.
[ Laughter and applause ]
[changes accent] Man,
what time you guys open, man?
I think I left it there.
It´s under the name Seth Meyers.
[ Laughter ]
[Laughing]
-[Bangs metal, pops cheek]
♫♫
[ Laughter ]
Thank you,
squeeze ketchup bottles,
for giving me two options:
no ketchup at all
or a blinding laser of ketchup!
[ Laughter and applause ]
Ohh, gosh!
-Ripped my hamburger in half!
♫♫
[ Laughter ]
Thank you,
supermarket gumball machine,
for letting me taste 1987.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Whoo!
[ Drumbeats,
cymbals crashing ]
[ Cheering and applause ]
-Those are Joe Cola.
-Stale gumballs.
♫♫
[ Laughter ]
Thank you, waterfalls,
or, as I like to call you:
fish roller coasters.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Yeah.
They have fun.
[ Applause concludes ]
♫♫
Thank you, insulation,
for being cotton candy
with a job.
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Applause concludes ]
[ Light laughter ]
♫♫
[ Laughter ]
Thank you, Triple H,
for sounding less like
a WWE Superstar
and more like an extra-strength
hemorrhoid cream.
[ Heavy metal plays ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Cheering and applause ]
-♫ Time to play the game! ♫
[ Cheering ]
[ "The Game" plays ]
♫♫
[ Laughter ]
♫♫
[ Crash! ]
-♫ It´s all about the game ♫
♫ And how you play it ♫
♫ All about control ♫
♫ if you can take it ♫
♫ All about your debt,
and if you can pay it ♫
-"SummerSlam" airs live
this Sunday, August 20th,
on the WWE Network.
We´ll be right back
with Jon Hamm.
-♫ No way you can change me ♫
[ Cheering and applause ]
♫ I am heavy debts;
no way you can pay me ♫
