Congratulations on
your first-- is it
your one year anniversary?
This is the-- yes, yes,
officially for the law,
you know?
For the, yes,
wedding anniversary.
It's such a weird thing
being a gay couple--
well, at my age.
Because there were so
you couldn't get married.
And so now we've been--
this is our 16th year together.
But it's our first--
we're back to paper, is it?
Is that what the gift is?
Yeah, I think paper
is the first year.
That's bull-- [BLEEP], you know?
I know.
Not when you've been
together 16 years.
Yeah, I want gold.
I want, you know--
Yeah, but now, we
did the same thing.
Because we've been
together for 13 years.
And Portia and I
do the every year--
we've been married nine
years, going on 10 years.
Wow.
And--
I didn't realize
it's been that long.
I know.
I didn't either.
It moves along.
God, time does fly
when you're having fun.
But we do the paper and the
cotton and all that stuff.
You do?
Yeah.
What is the next one coming up--
if you don't know, it's OK.
What was the last one?
I think, I think cotton is two.
Because I made her cotton
balls that said two.
Oh.
And I hate cotton balls.
So but I glued--
What do you hate
about cotton balls?
You don't hate cotton balls?
In a weird way, I do.
I hate how they feel.
Oh, I can't even, yeah.
I'm getting upset.
Are they hurting your teeth
as you spoke about it?
No, it's not my teeth.
It's my head.
It's like--
Oh, it's my teeth.
--just the feel of them.
You know when they say to
touch the feel of cotton--
No, it's hurting my teeth.
I don't know why.
--it's one thing for cotton,
but cotton balls are like--
Yeah, right, right, right.
Yeah.
No, I'm completely with you.
Touch the feel of cotton
on your shirt, fine.
Yeah, cotton is fine,
but not cotton balls.
Why do they even make them?
I don't know.
And when the dentist
puts them in your mouth.
Oh my god, this is my
my teeth are hurting.
Yeah.
That's exactly right.
Yeah.
Those little pillars
they put in there to--
Mm, mm.
This is the most
miserable interview.
Yeah, this is.
And if other people--
if people at home have
the same feeling--
We're torturing them.
--they've turned it off.
Let's talk about better things.
Yeah.
Let's talk about your doggie.
How many dogs do you have?
I have two dogs.
OK.
We have three dogs.
And you have a 14-year-old?
Yeah, we do.
We have-- he's going on 14.
Is yours going crazy?
Oh, boy.
Like, what's happening there?
All right, this is a picture
of him I posted on Instagram.
OK, he was-- you see,
OK, look, first off, I
got a lot of medical advice
on Instagram about it.
It's like, uh oh.
I'm like no, no, no,
no, no, no, hold on.
The dog is 14, old, cold
bones, they like the heat.
You see how he's in that shaft
of sunlight, sticking his head
under the warmth of the
big refrigerator that's
coming on, warming his bones.
I don't think it's
a major issue.
That being said, we did go for
one of his check-- he's on--
he was on eight pills.
Now he's on 10.
I know.
And he-- it's getting there.
And she talked to us, the
vet did, about, you know,
it's time to start, well
thinking about-- oh, god,
isn't he just the best?
Yeah.
But it's time to start,
you know, preparing.
And Todd and I both
are very-- we're not
at all one of
those-- we would not
try not to keep an animal
alive for our sake, you know?
Right.
And she was clear.
She goes, you know, when he
stops doing things that he
enjoys, that's how you'll know.
Because I'd asked.
And I said, well, I
don't-- what do you mean?
The dog doesn't crochet.
He doesn't work cross--
what is he doing that--
well, he doesn't
play poker anymore.
You know, he doesn't get out
to see the-- and she's like,
no, no, no, she goes,
when he wants to, when
he stops eating, wanting
to be around you,
or going to the bathroom.
OK, well, I can clock those.
I just thought, you know,
again, he's not scrapbooking.
No, no.
It's not, you know, he
doesn't do any of it anymore.
I just can't, Otis.
Does he play-- what's
your other dog-- how old?
Rufus and he is--
Rufus is eight.
Do they play?
No, we [INAUDIBLE].
No, they don't play.
I think Rufus would have
liked to at one point in time.
But Otis from the moment--
Otis was four, I think,
when we got Rufus--
five, I can't do my math now.
And from the moment we
got him was like, why?
Things were so good.
Yeah.
I had you all to myself.
Yeah.
So I think-- there he is typing.
I think if Rufus left
and didn't come back,
Otis would never bat an eye.
It just sounds horrible,
but I get it, you know?
Yeah, yeah, well, we
have, we have three.
And so they all
play differently.
But it's really cute.
Because--
I've seen them on Instagram.
They're great together.
Yeah, they're all good together.
They have fun.
Yeah.
Ours just fight when
they contact each other.
I'm jealous of people who have
cats that actually cats get
along and play.
Because my cats don't.
When I see cats actually
engaging in one another,
I'm so envious of that.
Because most of them don't
want anything to do-- well,
they look like
they're really cold.
They're not.
No, not at all.
But they like to
come off that way.
We're both allergic.
I have said for
years, I would love
to have one cat in the
house to sit on things
and look down at the dogs.
Like, I think that
would crack me up.
I just can't handle
it with-- but I
would love to have that
judgmental pussy in the house,
you know?
[LAUGHTER]
Well, I'm going to
leave that alone.
So let's talk about the movie.
OK.
It is kind of an
interesting subject matter
that a lot of people
deal with as parents.
Yes, yes.
And the reason I like
this piece so much
was because it did
focus so much on--
"A Kid Like Jake" is about a
couple played by parents, me
and Claire Danes.
We have a child named Jake.
He's four going
on five, starting
to apply to kindergartens.
And it's really kind of about
that moment, in a macro way,
of when you're first
kind of launching
your child into the world
and out of the cocoon
and the safety of,
he's just Jake,
he's just at home with us.
And suddenly other children,
other parents, other teachers
are offering their opinions.
And it's, in this movie, a
wake up call to us as parents.
Because we're getting
a lot of feedback
like, in your trying
to get him into school,
what if you worked the angle
of his gender variant play?
And we're like, well,
he likes fairy tales.
I don't know if it's
gender variant, you know?
And it really starts
escalating into this thing.
And we don't answer it in
the movie-- spoiler alert--
but whether he is or not
on a transgender journey.
We don't know for sure.
It's a great idea.
Because, I mean, I think that
is hard for a lot of parents
that have-- and a lot of parents
are struggling with this.
Like, how do you
support without, you
know, stifling or encouraging
or just doing it the right way.
Absolutely, absolutely.
It's called "A Kid Like Jake."
It opens in select
theaters Friday.
