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Okay storytime...
Medical professionals of Reddit, what’s
the worst ‘sex related’ injury you’ve
seen at your workplace?
I used to work weekend night shifts.
Had a younger girl come in one weekend.
Despite her age, she had a hip replacement
and it was dislocated.
ER put it back in and away she went.
Next weekend, she’s back again.
Same thing.
Third weekend in a row and there she is.
Finally I ask what she’s doing to dislocate
her hip and she says her boyfriend keeps bending
her leg back to far during sex.
I told her to try different positions.
Dentist here.
In dental school definitely saw a girl with
an inflamed palate that she was worried about
an infection.
Did some tests, nothing looked infectious.
Faculty member pulled us aside and was like
“yeah that’s a bruise from deepthroating”
Might not be a major injury, but definitely
memorable.Edit: and now my top rated comment
is about overly rough blow jobs.To respond
to a few comments: we actually learned/saw
this in oral pathology class.
It can happen because of continuous trauma
to the palate, just like you could get a bruise
on your arm with continuous hits even if they
aren’t too hard.
I’d recommend swishing with a salt water
rinse a couple times a day for a few days
to help with swelling, and maybe take a break
until it heals.
Janitor heated petroleum jelly and injected
it into his dick with a syringe.
He was trying to make his dick bigger.
He added more.
Other janitor saw him and decided to do the
same.So turns out with nowhere to go, petroleum
jelly forms granulomas under the skin, which
get infected.
Word was the tip of his dick and the base
wouldn't get hard anymore, only the middle.
And abscesses formed, resulting in (what was
described as) the dick looking like "maggots
had bored tunnels through it".
Janitor 1 was hospitalized for several weeks.As
for Janitor 2, he ended up with several ulcerating
wounds in his pelvic region.
You could stick a finger in them, they were
that big.Apparently injecting your dick with
petroleum jelly is fairly common.
Some girls have also attempted to inject their
boobs so give themselves implants.
It has led to deaths because bits and pieces
of it can dislodge and travel to the lungs.Don't
do it.
Nothing worse than dildos, vibrators and other
objects stuck where the sun don't shine.
One chap did say that he likes sticking things
up his arse, and that's fair enough.
But the strange excuses are usually the most
entertaining part of it.Worst genital injury
was a guy who drilled his scrotum with a cordless
drill doing DIY.
Don't secure your workpiece between your knees
if you want to be sure to keep both testicles,
gentlemen.
Back in medical school I was on a surgery
rotation with a classmate.
Our first day we got split into groups.
By chance, my first case was an appendectomy.
By chance, his first case was helping deliver
a jewel-encrusted dildo from the rectum of
a 250lb guy.
He was at the business end when it crowned
and was responsible for "catching" as the
surgeons pushed from above.
Labial hematoma.
Couple had sexy times.
Then got into a fight.
He kicked her in the crotch.
This burst a blood vessel in the labia, which
made it swell to the size of a large pear.
That shit hurts.She used many colorful words
to describe what she thought of him.
A guy came into the emergency department because
his ass hurt after his boyfriend was fisting
him.
It had torn his bowel.
He had to get a colostomy.It wasn't like life-ending
or anything, but imagine going to the ED after
sex and getting told you're getting a fucking
colostomy.
Not my story but my mom's.
She used to work in the oncology department
of her hospital a while back.
One day she comes home, sits me down, and
says, "Syphilis in the eye.
You always make sure your partner is clean,
dont take their word for it.
I dont care what you do.
Just...
Syphilis in the eye."That's all I needed to
hear.Edit: thanks for the silver kind stranger!
I tried to explain to my mom someone liked
her advice that much but she didn't really
get it, she is appreciative though
A coworker was getting divorced.
One night his soon to be ex called about something
and She could tell he was having a bad day,
so to cheer him up she told him all about
how while she and her new boyfriend were having
sex he shoved a dildo up her ass and it just
got sucked up.
After failed attempts to remove it they went
to the ER where she got surgery to remove
it.
After surgery doctors sanitized the dildo
and returned it to her.This story did not
make him feel better.
Countless cases of stuff stuck up the butt:
dildos, vibrators, cucumbers, toilet bowl
brushes.
If it’s possible to get in the butt, someone
has needed it surgically removed.Toilet bowl
brush was the most shocking.
However the funniest was reconstructing a
giant white, oddly realistic veiny cock on
the back table to make sure they had pulled
it all out.EDIT: pro-tip: if you get something
stuck up your butt don’t make up some fantastic
story about naked light bulb changes.
We know how it got there, you know how it
got there.
There’s no shame in liking butt stuff, just
tell us your personal time went awry.
18 year old kid had a cheap dildo break wayyy
up his ass.
Was bleeding from his butt.
Needed surgery.In my state you’re not legally
an adult until 19 so he had to call his mom
for consent, and she demanded staying with
him through his entire ER visit.Edit: his
butt ate the entire dildo.
Probably a solid 7-9 inches of plastic.
Top 2 inches is what broke off.Also yes, the
medical consent rules are screwy.
Applies for sexual assault as well, unless
the parent was the suspected assailant.
Broken penis.
Dudes testicles were the size of grapefruits.
I assume the internal pudendal artery was
pumping blood into them from somewhere.
Was an MA then, now in med school.
Was a neat injury, but nothing we could do
for him in urgent care.
He needed surgery for sure.
Did see a bottle stuck in a rectum xray as
well.
I'm not one to judge.
Keep on freakin on, but dont put glass in
your ass please.
Dude stuck a pencil up his urethra.Wood is
porous.
It got stuck.
For a day.
He couldn't pee around it, and initially that's
what his complaint was, urinary retention.
Finally in the exam room when the doc asked
him WTF with the eraser sticking out of his
dick did the guy fess up.He ended up needing
surgery.
He was also 70ish.
Old enough to know better.
I’ve seen a crystal clear imprint of a clothing
iron to the ass.
The thought process was something like, “If
candle wax = kinky, ironing your ass = megakinky?!”
I don’t know.Also a pair of junkies got
high and shot heroin in the guys dick and
we had to fillet the whole thing.
He was distraught about the size difference.
I’m a paramedic.
We recently had a gentleman shoot himself
in the head of his penis with a handgun.Edit:
I realize it’s not really a sexual injury
per se, and the original poster probably wanted
more “I fell on this and it got stuck in
my ass” type injuries.
But this felt relevant lol.
My mother worked in an er and told me a story
about a guy who was high on angel dust and
couldn’t get it up.
His friend told him to stick a chicken bone
in his dick and he’d be able to have sex.
He shoved it in knuckle end first and shredded
the head of his dick
Mini lava lamp stuck in the rectum.
Power cord was sticking out like a tail.
My friend works at an ER in a small rural
area in Canada.
Apparently this young guy comes in and has
a can of AXE body spray stuck in his rectum.
He was extremely embarrassed and his excuse
was that he accidentally sat on it??
Typical not a medical professional...but I
had a friend who was a hospital pharmacist.
He said a patient came in with a coffee thermos
in his ass.
Cap first.
He got the rest of the thermos out but the
cap stayed.
After a couple days he finally decided to
go to the hospital because he couldn't get
it out.
The cap ended up festering bacteria and he
had part of his colon removed.
Now that guy is in his 30s with a colostomy
bag.
Exotic, special-ordered venomous spider up
the ass.
Guy called an ambulance because he wasn’t
sure if he could put bug bite cream up there
too, as the packaging said “for external
use only”.
Lost entire transverse section of (necrotic)
bowel.
Lived, but poops in a bag now.
My stepdad is an ER doctor in the only hospital
in the city I was raised in.
There was no place else to go when the sex
swing my idiot boyfriend hung on dry wall
ceiling came crashing down and I broke my
tailbone.
He was also there 6 months later when that
same boyfriend let go of my hips as he was
going at me pretty hard from behind, sending
my over the edge of the bed and head first
into a desk.
I had a patient come into the ER with runs
of VTACH (dangerous arrhythmia) because his
boyfriend sprinkled methamphetamine powder
on a dildo and stuck it in his ass.... very
absorbent up there and suddenly your heart
is crapping out at a rate of 220
Dissected vertebral artery from oral sex - essentially
a big brain hemorrhage.
Did not end well, either :(
I'd like to take a moment to thank everyone
in this thread for making sure my genetalia
never work again.
Had a psych patient stick wires into his urethra
to "pull out the kidney stones" and they got
stuck in his bladder.
The X-ray is really something else.EDIT: Didn't
read the title closely enough.
Not a sex related injury but it does involve
the naughty bits so I'm leaving it.EDIT 2:
More detail.
I was a medical student on my ER rotation.
I didn't see the patient personally, but saw
the xrays and heard some details about the
case.
This is not the first time he had done this.
Based on the xray (both this time and the
previous time) there was a tangled ball of
wire in his bladder and several wires were
still sticking out of his urethra.
The tangled ball prevented him from pulling
everything out.
His plan would not have worked even if he
had kidney stones.........
Kinda "sex" related?
On Andrews AFB in the 80s a guy was caught
molesting his daughter by his wife.
As the cops arrived he sat on his front concrete
steps and hammered his junk off.
My mom worked on him in the emergency room.
He still ended up in jail.
Infected penile implant.
His dong looked like a purple tall boy beer
can.
They had to take him to the OR, literally
filet his man parts, take out the implant,
and wash it all out.
Worst part they left it open for several days.
Ick
Worked at a Physical Therapy clinic for years.78
year old man herniated a disc in his neck
eating out his girlfriend.
He was a long-time patient and friend of the
therapist, so we got the whole story.
Our patient (P) was old, rich, and single;
and loved all the sleazy bits that came with
it.
One day his 39 year old girlfriend asked him
to return a favor.
So P goes down on a woman for the first time
ever at age 78.
Not really knowing what he was doing, he went
at her "like a dog drinking water" (his words).
A few moments later he felt a pop and his
arm went numb.
He came to us with a nearly useless left arm
about 2 days later.
My boss was laughing so hard during the eval
that I went in the treatment room to check
on him.
P insisted I stay and hear the whole story.
P died a couple months later from something
unrelated.
I miss that crusty old bastard a lot.
Uncle in law (anesthesiologist) had a patient
come in that had poured concrete in his own
ass, while trying to make a custom dildo.
THEY HAD TO CHISEL THE CONCRETE OUT OF HIS
RECTUM.
Not a Doctor but: My friend had a girl go
down on him while they were cooking, she apparently
had been handling some hot peppers before
she decided to pin him to the wall, they didn’t
go to the hospital but he swears he was super
close to going.
Mood was ruined after that.
My mom is a secretary at a hospital, so she
has heard a few stories.
Apparently a person had come in with a carrot
stuck up their ass, saying that it got stuck
because they fell on it while they were cooking
naked.
Nurse here.Guy came in with a condom-sheathed
cucumber up his arse.Was fully comfortable
admitting that he and his partner were messing
around in the bedroom and just went a bit
too far.
Wasn't embarrassed at all!Also I've seen a
guy on the wards with one of those plastic
balls you get in a ball pit stuck up there.
I bet there are some good excuses too....I
was cooking naked and dropped a package of
potatos and it broke open and I slipped on
one and landed just wrong and one went up
my rectum....Yeah.....
Wife found out hubby was cheating and slashed
at his groin with a knife.
Scrotum torn open degloving one of his testes.
Oof.
We had a poor girl come into the ER a few
weeks ago- simple sex went wrong case and
she was basically bleeding out from her vagina.
They think she had some weak arteries down
there and one or more just... ruptured.
This 26 year-old decided to be circumcised.
His doctor told him not to have sex.
He didn’t listen.
It peeled like a banana.
A young woman came in complaining of pink
eye, looked just like pink eyed.
So we cultured the discharge coming from her
eye.
Turns out it was chlamydia of the eye.
The best was informing the doctor of the results,
and the puzzling look on the doctor's face.
As she wondered how the pt was able to get
chlamydia in her eye, then later the look
of disgust on her face as she realized how
it happened.
Had a guy stick a whole chorizo sausage in
his rectum.
When the EMTs called in with the chief complaint,
before I hung up I told them to bring some
eggs.The ER doctor attempted removal but wasn’t
able to grab ahold of the end.
The patient ended up being transferred and
needed surgery for sausage removal.
So I have a patient who came in due to a rash
on his penis.
When asking what may have caused the rash
he states, " I had really rough sex, like
really rough."
I just nod my head and inform the doctor.
We just give each a look of what the fuck
and she proceeded to go speak with the patient.
The patient told her the true reason why he
has a rash and it was because he dry humped
this girl so roughly that he basically gave
himself carpet burn on his penis from his
pants.
Was working at the ER when I highly attractive
college aged lady came in to be seen.
Overheard her explaining to the triage nurse
that her clit piercing was missing.
One of the PA’s had to digitally explore
and investigate.
The piercing was located and pulled out.
