The Art of Listening: How to be a good listener
“Listening is an art that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, others over self”
Listening is paying attention to what someone says. It is more than just hearing what someone says. It’s about paying attention, understanding what’s being said and showing empathy.
Hearing is often misinterpreted as listening whereas hearing involves the physical act of receiving sound. Simply put, hearing happens with your ears while listening happens with your brain.
The Art of Listening
It’s all about engagement and attention. This is showing the other person you are in conversation with that you are interested in what they have to say.
It is therefore an art because it has to be learned.
How to be a good listener
You can be in a conversation with someone and you begin to interrupt the person or get distracted by things around you.
In the quest of being a good listener, one has to learn how to be quiet because it shows appreciation and consideration for the speaker. This doesn’t mean that you cannot chip in your ideas in between the conversation to show the other person that you understand what they’ve been saying.
There are 3 attributes of a good listener:
I) Attentiveness: Be present. Try not to drift off in your thoughts while the other person is talking. Find and show interest in what the person is saying and try to show it by contributing to the conversation. Make eye contact.
II) An open mind:
Having an open mind is important if you want to be a good listener. Try not to be judgmental and listen to the person’s side of the story. Try to learn from the conversation. Avoid the urge to give advice on your own opinion right away and focus on what they have to say.
This is the ability to put yourself in others shoes and it is a sign of high emotional intelligence. Seeing a situation from multiple points of view helps when giving your opinion. Showing empathy can make the other person feel relaxed and tell you more about what’s bothering them.
Note that your body language either makes the person feel reluctant about telling you the full story or makes them vulnerable to say more.
Showing empathy tells the other person that you feel what they feel and they are not alone.
What are the benefits of active listening?
Effective listening can help you build stronger relationships and resolve conflicts.
- It improves communication because it aids in truly understanding what the other person is saying.
- It builds trust between you and the person. When the person feels heard, he tells you more about the situation because he feels at ease with you.
- It helps in conflict resolution because there is an understanding that exists between you and the person.
- Leads to creative and innovative thinking due to the fact that when you really listen to someone else’s point of view, you will realize that there are many ways to see a situation.
- People would love your company. They would always want to talk with you because they know you won’t judge them. You can gain relationships, friendships and other good benefits from this.